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Some Saw Burnout Coming,
And Many Readers Empathized

A LOT OF READERS are battling burnout or are seeing it happen around them, based on the dozens of letters I received in response to my first-person account of burnout in the June 25 column.

Some saw themselves headed for trouble, others suggested remedies, from seeing a shrink to playing tranquil music. Here is a sampling:

"I appreciated your column on burnout. Like you, I have been starting work early, then working nights and over the weekend. I extend my maniacal pace to cutting the lawn, cleaning, painting and other jobs around the house on the weekend, making it a time of exhaustion, not relaxation. My exercise and diet regimen has slipped, speeding the spiral toward burnout.

"My breaking point came during an overseas business trip. I operate a one-person firm. That meant cramming an incredible amount of work into the days before my departure, returning calls from Paris, doing my work there, battling jet lag, deciphering French, worrying about clients, then catching up on a week's work upon my return.

"In short, I reached burnout.

"Your column reinforces my decision to slow down. Yesterday was the first weekday in months I didn't work very early in the morning or late at night. And I'm taking Friday off to take my kids to the beach."

"I FIND IT amazing that a person who works out of her home and not only has time to spend with her family, but can take that time whenever it's needed to prevent 'burnout,' feels qualified to write about the subject. In my opinion, you haven't the foggiest idea what burnout is! How can you compare your difficulties coping with children's soccer and volunteering to someone who spends a lifetime trying to keep his or her job while facing increasing workloads?

"Try being the breadwinner in a one-paycheck family deep in office politics, other people snapping at your heels, trying to keep the wolf from the door. Don't feel like going on that business trip? That's OK -- someone else from the office will go, and management will remember that at review time. Don't feel like working late? Someone else will. Can't work this weekend because of a family commitment? That's OK; your unmarried co-worker will be in the office all day Saturday (and you can bet your next paycheck the boss will know all about it Monday).

"I suggest that before you write about subjects such as burnout, you get into the world of tough reality and meeting payrolls. Never mind about the soccer practice and the car pool. Learn what it's like to fight for your job."

Roger CurnuttLas Vegas, Nev.

Mr. Curnutt: I knew my full-time telecommuter workstyle would seem easy to some. In the past, however, I've been in situations somewhat like the one you describe, running departments, feeling the pressure as my family's sole breadwinner and surviving layoffs at previous employers. Looking back, I see I burned out several times during those years but felt too anxious or pressed to acknowledge it. Now, I wish I had. I wrote the column in hopes of helping others in stressful situations.

"YOU'RE PROBABLY having enough trouble coming to terms with burnout without people like me writing to say we could see it coming.

"Week after week, I've felt cowed by your exhortation, albeit optimistic and well-meant, to try to do it all. Even when you've acknowledged the need to set priorities and make sacrifices, you've seemed subtly to suggest this practice is strictly for those who can't hack it in a world where one ought to glide easily from word processor to car pool to school functions to civic activities to garden, making everyone happy and keeping oneself fulfilled.

"Now you have acknowledged the truth behind the cliche: Once you have children, it is not possible to do 'it all.'

"We live in a hypocritical society, giving lip service to the priority children have in our lives, when the brightest of us, the most energetic, feel compelled to do 'more' than bring them up. And should we try to balance child-rearing with continuing other work, we're tripped up at every turn. When I told an associate prior to a recent business trip that I dreaded telling my two-year-old son that Mommy was going away again, she said, 'Sometimes you have to be a grown-up.' Hers are the prevailing values, I'm afraid.

"We have to change that. We have to let our employers know that if they want our best work, they have to allow us peace of mind about our children. That means we have to have time with our children. Otherwise, we'll all burn out. Then what will happen to our children?"

Diana ShawRowayton, Conn.

Ms. Shaw: I don't advocate that anyone should try to do it all; I usually try to encourage people to examine what they truly value, then organize their lives accordingly. In any event, if I can spark reflections like yours, about integrating our goals for our families with those we set at work, I'm satisfied.