Wednesday, 27 March 2013

That is according to Eric Anderson, an American sociologist at England's University of
Winchester and author of the provocative book, The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating. I got the link from someone this morning and i found it interesting. Am i delusional in thinking people can actually have happy monogamous relationships? What do you think about open sexual relationships?

"Monogamy is failing men. Not only is it failing
them, but it's a "socially compelled sexual incarceration" that can
lead to a life of anger and contempt... Cheating, however, serves men pretty
well. An undiscovered affair allows them to keep their relationship and
emotional intimacy, and even if they're busted it's a lot easier than admitting
that they wanted to screw someone else in the first place, he writes. In his
study of 120 undergraduate men, 78 percent of those who had a partner cheated,
"even though they said that they loved and intended to stay with their
partner." Contrary to what we may think, most men aren't cheating because
they don't love their partner, he says; they cheat because they just want to
have sex with others. And society shouldn't pooh-pooh that.

Monogamy's stronghold on our beliefs -- what he calls
monogamism -- brings ostracism and judgment to anyone who questions or strays
from its boundaries. That doesn't make sense to Anderson, who wonders why we
stigmatize someone who has a fling more than couples who divorce -- throwing
away a marriage rich in history and love, upsetting their kids' lives -- over
something like sex. Monogamy isn't the only "proper" way to be in a
relationship, and he says it's time that society finds "multiple forms of
acceptable sexual relationship types -- including sexually open relationships
-- that coexist without hierarchy or hegemony." It's especially important
for today's young men, for whom monogamous sex seems more boring than in
generations past because of easy premarital sex and pornography."

Friday, 15 March 2013

A lot
of people entered for the give-away so i decided to up my game by increasing
the gifts. I now have 2 lucky winners for each gift making 6 winners in all. I
picked the winners randomly using the Random.org. I had to categorise all the
entries by the gift people wanted.

The
winners for The Thing Around Your Neck are: Cherrywine and Lue

The
winners for Half of a Yellow Sun are: Prism and Simply Me

The
winners for 1500 credit are: Ay and Sykik (i would have bought another copy of one
of the books if Sykik's name didn't come up. *wipes brow* this woman, your
jazzman dey try o)

The answer to the questions

Ivy's questions: what's your real
name? Are you in Naija? What's your singular motivation for writing? My name is Toinlicious Toin *side
eyes*, I am in Nigeria and my motivation for writing is basically my need to
express myself and this is the best way I know how. I usually need to feel
something to write, whether love, joy, anger etc.

OSB's questions (So which of my
friend is this? Come reveal yasef o)?What inspires you
generally?Many things inspire me. Sometimes
something as simple as a dimple or a child's smile.

What do you want to be known for? The person who lived life, laughed, loved and inspired
people to do same.What other career path would you have
chosen? Rock star baybay! Honestly, i would have

been
a pop culture/entertainment fiend.

How do you manage to combine
seriousness with un-seriousness to make fun? I never take myself too seriously and i love
laughing. Life is too short to take yourself seriously. I love to find the
humour in everything. If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.

Why are you a lazy blogger sometimes? #Sigh. If i could be here 24/7 and
get paid, i would but life happens and i have to comply *kicks bucket in anger*

Finally for now, who is the
naughtiest of your blogger friends? *wipes brow* Hmn, naughtiest blogger, i can't categorically
say for now because i can't say one person and my oga at the top will say
another.

Dayor's question:Have you ever thought/ do you ever think of being a
comedian? Erm, i
haven't. I don't think i'm thaaaat hilarious. My life is just always
drama-filled *mock-tears*

Tomi's question:Why
are you hiding your pretty face from us? Just because i don't wana complex
anyone *wink* Shay you want me to totally expose my semi-anon state ni?

Ritty's question: Do you like Tonto
Dikeh? (ok, weird
question) I'm not a fan of Tonto but i like her confidence. I find her very amusing.

Mancee
didn't ask any question. I'm pretty sure of that :D

Congratulations
to the winners. For the book winners, please send your postal address to
toinlicious@gmail.com and the airtime
winners, please let me know the network you want. Thanks to everyone for
participating.

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I Am So mUch MoRe

I'm a bubbly chatterbox, mostly sugar with a dash of spice. Life has dealt me some mean curves but i'm strutting those curves around like Kim K. I'm all about living, laughing, loving and inspiring. I love books, music, sleep erm lets just go with eclectic

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Unless otherwise stated, materials (written or otherwise) on this blog are subject to copyright and cannot be reproduced without written permission of the blog author who goes under the pseudonym - Toinlicious. All excerpts should be credited to the blog author. To contact the blog author regarding copyright issues, please e-mail toinlicious@gmail.com. Thank you