My adventures with wheels, etc.

Since I can’t talk about hockey, because, well, I’m writing this on Sunday and I don’t know if there’s a Game 7 or if hockey season is over (bet it’s not), here’s a tale I’ve been meaning to tell you for a couple of weeks,.

OK. I told you before the Rapture that my lawnmower went, and I wondered if I should buy another one, what with the end so near. Well, I decided I’d better go for a new mower, seeing as how “you can’t take it with you.” Plus the world didn’t end.

So I did. Ugh.

First, I found a mower larger than the standard 21 or 22-inch wide model. A 36-incher. So I bought it at Home Depot. Except the HD near my house didn’t have the one I wanted. So I ordered if from a Home Depot a little farther away — in Drury Country, actually. Well, the day it was supposed to be delivered, I was supposed to get a call at 9 a.m. giving me a time of delivery. That call never came. So around noon I called HD and they said the trucks were running late, and that it had to stop at the HD nearer my house to pick up the mower. I told them that the HD nearer my house didn’t have that mower. They insisted it was there. I then told them to forget it, I am not paying $85 delivery fee for a mower that I could have picked up for free the day I was there.

Then I found out that the wider model has two blades and a timing belt that assures that the blades don’t hit each other, and that if you hit a rock or a root or something, the belt breaks to protect the blades. Um. No thanks.

So back to Home Depot I went. I decided to go back to the standard size mower, a brand name with all the bells and whistles. At about a third of the price of the big one. So I picked that one up, stuck it in my trunk, brought it home, had to do a tiny bit of assembly, fill it with oil and gas, and got ready to do the lawn the next day.

In the meantime, I had to disassemble the old mower, empty the gas tank, stuff it in the car and take it to the town dump.

The next day, the new one started right up, first pull, and it went right through the long, wet grass like butter. Except … for some reason it didn’t go in reverse very well, and it dumped clumps of grass when I pulled it backwards. So I read the manual. It said not to pull it backwards. Huh? How do you do tight spaces or cutouts, or under branches, without pulling the mower backwards?

In addition, after I read the manual, it didn’t start right away. Then it ran out of gas, and when I refilled it, it didn’t start right away again. The mower that died on me that week started every single time I pulled it for 15 years. So I wasn’t going to deal with this.

So I disassembled it, emptied the gas tank, packed it up, put it back in the car and returned it. And at the return counter, there was another one exactly like it that had just been returned.

So I went to the internet and found the same mower I had bought 15 years ago, at the same price I paid 15 years ago, no bells or whistles. Just starts every time, cuts the grass great. I won’t name the other brands, but this one’s a Snapper Ninja. And I’m keeping it.

But … as I’m driving my wife’s SUV around with lawnmower after lawnmower in the back, I blew a shock and strut. This is a Friday before a holiday Monday. On Saturday I called my mechanic, and brought the car to him to look at it. He said he’d order the parts, but that he wouldn’t get them until Tuesday. So I went Tuesday, and the parts never arrived. It was supposed to arrive Wednesday. So I went Wednesday, still no parts. Bear in mind that I’m working long nights all of these days. He told me to be safe to come back Friday. Meanwhile, my car needs an oil change. So I brought that in Thursday for service.

Finally, on Friday my wife’s care went up on the rack and was fixed, seven days later, and five trips to the mechanic (who isn’t nearby, by the way). So now, two weeks later, I’m happy to report that I have a good mower and two working cars.

I no longer cut my lawn.. it used to take me 2 hrs to do.. now they do it in 45 minutes.
Its 50 bucks a cut, well worth it since my 48′ exmark was dying and a new one is 3k..no more maintenance.
The 50 bucks buys me their time.. not mine..not to mention after 28 years of cutting grass my body is shot.

How GREAT is a game 7 for the Stanley Cup !!!! I am not sure which team I want to win anymore…started out rooting for the Canucks but what’s not to like about the Bruins except for historical references as a Ranger fan. I hope both goalies play well and the better team wins.

great story carp! that’s what makes this blog worth coming back for long after the nyr has been eliminated

i’m thinking boston tonight… luongo had all of the pressure in the world on him monday night and we saw how he reacted. tonight he’ll have all of that pressure, plus he’ll be at home knowing that at the first sign of adversity that crowd is gonna get on him.

also, in all of the close games so far, vancouver has gotten that extra bounce you need to win the game… boston is about due to get that bounce.

No team has lost on home ice in this series. Luongo’s GAA at home must be ridiculously low in this series. I expect Vancouver to win and although I loathe the Bruins I kind of want this group of guys to win…

First – glad to hear that it is not just my house that could qualify for the circus – apparently, it happens to everyone today. We do all of the same buying, returning, car repair stuff and it never really is easy at times – is it?

Second – and this is more important I think – is that I still vote for YOU to take Uncle Glen’s seat as the new GM –

Enjoy the Ninja – buy the way, my oldest son’s cycle is a Ninja – so I have this vision of you riding a motorcycle around your lawn – watch out for trees!

GOt a tip for you…. I’ve had mucho adventures with cutting machines too over the years and the one thinking that I discovered ( downhere in FL at least,) it’s cheaper to hire the mower guys who proliferate here like lichens on trees, and they are reasonably inexpensive, and do a bang up good job including trimming edges.) I bought a Sears ride on mower about 10 yeqrs ago, it’s tiny but it has a motor and you sit in a seat and it goes in amazing places. Paid about 6 bills for it then, and what I like is the large single blade and you literally sit on top of it. Not perfect, a few things I don;t like but is it ever dependable.

When I lived in Deep River CT I bought a Toro yard tractor, ..big power house and I used it for about 12 years and left it for my son, who bought the old house from me when we moved to FL 15 years ago, and do you know he still uses that old Toro to mow the lawn and it runs as great as ever. ( over 30 years old!)

Sad to see hockey end tonight. But, at least the draft is coming up. Then there’s the cringe worthy NHL awards! Yay! Then, obviously, there’s July 1st, where we can finally complain aboot something real!

got some insight for you….I’ve had mucho experience with mowers of several make over the years but I’ve never found any as reliable as the the Sears models believe it or not. One minor ex-ception……………..back many years ago when I lived in a four acre plot in Deep River CT, and we had horses for the girls, and agony for myself ( worrying about whether they’d be killed by those beasts) …one daughter came very close…the non riding dtr. She inadvertantly got in between two of the horses, one a standard old Arab, and the other a sprightly quarter horse, and one of the horses was being fed it’s grain and the other took umbrage and kicked out at the Arab but the hoof caught my daughter a glancing blow along the side of her head and she was knocked unconcious. I was at my office about 22 miles from there when my son called me and said that ” she was just kicked in the head by a horse.” I felt like all my insides had just fallen out. I raced out of the office jumped in my car and took off up I 95 at over a hundred miles an hour HOPING
a cop would show up. I made it to the house in about 15 minutes ( usually a half hour or so trip) and raced up stars where my son had left her on the bed. I was imagining her with no face, a crushed skull and the tears were so heavy I could hardly see straight. But she was laying there quite serenely on the bed, and my son said that it was a glancing blow. She had a small
wound on her cheekbone and it did cut a saliva gland but other wise OK. I went looking for a rifle to get rid of that lousy horse, but my wife was called from work also and she intervened. My apologies for the discretion but a little background as to why I had a riding yard tractor. Rural stuff ya know. A Toro tractor that I kept for about 15-20 years that was terrific. But when we retired and moved down here to FL my son bought the old home stead from us and the tractor went with it. Do you know that he still uses that old Toro, and it still runs like a charm.
( over 30 years old).

But I know own a ride on mower from sears that I’ve had for the 15 years down here and it still runs like a dream. Same with a hand mower of theirs that I had just before that.

Best bet however is to hire these mowing guys who have all the equipment and do the edgings and do it really good work. ( their competition is terrific so they’re not very expensive…at least down here. Lotsa luck.

Actually, you can take it with you, money, gold, stock certificates – you name it. The problem is that when you get there they have their own currency and their own little inflationary, taxation, and property, assets and valuables expropriation, and abuse of power rackets going on, so that they just laugh whenever anyone shows up at their gates with U.S. Currency. They are not so stupid as to take our markers when our currency has a fraction of the value of swiss cheese with just the holes to show for it, because the cheese hasn’t been made yet.

Hope this year’s game seven, Stanley Cup Finals matches last year’s Chicago – Philadelphia dramatic outcome, even if no one actually saw the winning goal being scored. Maybe this year someone will burn home a 40-foot slap shot to get all the glory. I think Boston fans could live with a loss tonight better than Vancouver fans. Easy to predict five million suicides in B.C. in the next two days if the Canucks lose. Hope those drunken-Leprechaun bar bums in Boston get to cry in their 10-cent beer.

Wish I were in Vancouver tonight, in case the Canucks win. This is going to be some party night for studs wearing Canucks gear, if they get it done. Wall to wall stoned hotties coming at you!

It’s strange that newer lawn mowers have to meet emissions requirements, and yet every five minutes a truck blowing black smoke out it’s pipe drives by…. The emissions requirements and added safety stuff (so much for natural selection) just make em harder to start and maintain.
Oh yeah, Go `Nucks!

Subway has this new thing, you have to say “double up” if you want more meat. LOL! I’m not gonna say that!

It reminds me of the the Seinfeld episode where George is trying to get a discount on his glasses, and he thinks if he says “Kramer”, the guy will give it to him, but the guy has no idea who Kramer is.

The Las Vegas natural odds (before taking out the “juice”) on tonight’s game make Vancouver the 10-13 (56 1/2 % chance of winning) favorite. After taking out the juice, they are posting a 20-cent line of Boston +130 (win a gross $230 on a $100 bet) if Boston wins; and -150 on Vancouver, meaning that you wager $150 to get a gross return of $250 if Vancouver wins.

The percentage take-out on this 20-cent line is: Boston 43.48%; plus Vancouver 60.0%, for a total of 103.48 over a round book of 100, meaning that the house rake here amounts to 3.48%, guaranteed to make the house money, no matter who wins. The line looks accurate in that neither side looks like overlay value, so from a betting standpoint, it’s a pass.

Carp you seem like the kind of guy who can have a good laugh at these things after they’ve been put into perspective.

I hope everyone enjoys the last game of the season tonight. Holy cow could you imagine overtime and a home loss for the Canucks? Or any loss for Vancouver for that matter? No matter what, it’s going to be fun to watch! I hope the fans find a way to behave themselves! Go ‘nucks!

I fear most thing from Dunkin Donuts after hearing stories about the behind-the-scenes action from a friend who worked there. But, I can’t turn away freshly baked doughnuts. The D&D right near my house used to bake them on sight, and now they don’t. Also bush league.

And, I heard Carp had for lunch today: forget he name. chicken something. Sauteed chicken breast with slices of tomato, fresh mozzarella, and shredded sweet red pepper in a brown sauce, with potato slices and string beans, preceeded, of course, by antipasto and penne ala vodka, and followed by assorted dessert trays with triangles of cheese cakes, chocolate cakes, velvet cakes, lemon cakes (had to abstain from all of those) and hot foamy cappucino.

1. World Series games at night, in a monsoon, in the northeast, in early November.
2. The NFL going to 18 games and expanding to 40 teams by adding a European Division.
3. NBA games, such as the one between the Nets and Clippers last November, featuring 89(1)
foul shots, or “Free throws” as they so sweetly and delicately prefer you call them.
4. Horse racing at Aqueduct in -10 degree weather in January.
5. Baseball going to 10 teams, eventually to 16 teams in the playoffs. So that the champion of
the sport is NEVER the best team in the regular season.
6. No longer will I complain, actually recommend, that basketball eliminate all foul shots; football
eliminate all 1 and 2 point conversions and just have a touchdown count for 7 points; that
baseball eliminate the “Walk” so that the next Babe Ruth and the next Ted Williams, etc. will
actually get to swing the bat about 2,000 more times over the course of a full career;
no longer will I complain about hockey’s “extra/attacker- pulling the goaltender rule.” In the ‘
interest of “accomodation” I now acknowledge that it is perfectly fair to award a team a free
power play, when assessing, in effect a “phantom” penalty against the other team just
because TV needs giddy fans in the last two minutes of a game, and because “We have
always done it this way.” What do I know, when we had NHL foundational wizards like Conn
Smythe who named the Toronto team the “Maple LEAFS” instead of the Maple Leaves. I also
promise not to complain about hockey being played in mid-June. Why wrap it up in April when
there is so much money to be made and so much insurance and trucks and tires and beer to
be sold?

I have to defer to the resident geniuses, from sports executives to politicians who run all of
our lives. God knows whatever would we do without Gary Bettman and the two political
hacks in Washington who have not been whistled down for being in a sex scandal yet. My one
complaint is: where is the honey who will offer to get caught with me in a “love nest.” lol.

Yeah, I don’t trust Dunkin. I only eat their donuts, munchkins, muffins, and sometimes their bagels. Anything else, I stay away from. I once had this sausage thing. It tasted how I imagine dead cat tastes!

“Maple Leafs” is grammatically incorrect. Leaf is singular, Leaves is the plural. They should be the Toronto Maple Leaves, or the Ontario Leaf, if you prefer contemporary sillyness.

One of the problems with the pulling the goaltender garbage, is that one team has everything to gain, such as gaining a tie, and possibly an eventual win. All the other team has to gain is scoring an empty net goal and winning, say 4-2 instead of 3-2. That is a grotesque misapplication of the risk-reward dynamic. No team should stand to gain everything with no attendant downside risk. It is the most abominable, unfair, disgusting, indefensible rule in all of sports, and as a hockey fan, above all else, I find it deplorable and sickening that the natural outcome of so many games can be tampered with to such an embarrassing extent to the entire sport.

i am sitting in a hotel room here in WASH DC for a work conference till friday. my company has people going to dinner in an hour. i made an excuse of why i couldnt go saying my uncle lives down here and i never see him.

ordered room service and got a ny strip steak and some red wine. i wouldnt spend game 7 any other way then with you boneheads. go nucks go

also i plan on looking for bruce boudreau while i am here and tell to kiss my ….

Teams can play with six skaters for the whole game if they like. There’s no rule – abominable, unfair, disgusting, indefensible or otherwise – only limiting teams to gaining this grotesque advantage when down a goal with less than two minutes left in the first place.

If you gave 1,000 teams up a goal in that situation the choice of whether they faced the empty net 5-on-6 or stayed 5-on-5, how many would pick the latter? Something close to zero?

Will Tyler Seguin show up?? Will Horton’s head explode when he lifts the Cup? Will Mason Raymond be able to lift the Cup? If Lucic lifts the Cup, will it cure his Scheuermann’s disease? Will Messier cry?

And I’m not suggesting a team *has* have an *elite* goalie to win – clearly enough evidence to suggest otherwise (and I completely disagreed when that used to be the prevailing wisdom). Just equally untrue to say that a team *has* to be full of star offensive talent to win, hence any team with a great goalie should trade him.

well the only team in history of the modern NHL to win without a dynamic offensive player was the Devils in 02-03. Believe it or not, Thomas actually had a better year (and playoffs) this season then Brodeur did.

Its all ’bout the Rangers now baby!!! get this season done!! ITS OVER SOON …YES!!! We are forced to watch Boston ( BLEACH) and Vancouver ( PUKE ) and im sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!! It finally firetrucking over. Sorry if im bias , sorry if I could care less who wins. Im so sick f these two stuiped teams and I cant wait to cheer on our dumbazz team cuz I love ’em. I want the Rangers back !!!! Rangers forever baby , I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m not gonna make generalizations about canucks fans over a couple stupid drunk people, remember in the 09 playoffs when the rangers handed out those glowing thundersticks in game 3? At the end a few people ripped out the LED and tossed it on the ice, and that was FAR from the majority of fans