NFL Draft Day Entertainment: Look No Further Than the Oakland Raiders

When I learned about this contest, I was pretty sure I was going to write a column about Matt Ryan dropping into the teens while pretending to not be counting every dollar he’s losing as the hours crawl by.

But I figured Ryan was the obvious selection to slip now that the Dolphins have apparently decided on Jake Long, so it probably wouldn’t be an original idea.

Then I thought about writing something discussing the Detroit Lions potentially drafting another wide receiver, but I figured that one would be done a few times over as well.

I gave some thought to writing about how entertaining it was to have a 16-0 team picking in the top-10, making a mockery out of an NFL system that actually stripped them of their own first round draft pick. But I assumed some other Patriot fan would take a crack at that one.

Then, as I was going over my notes for the Mock Draft Part Deux, it came to me.

I’ve already discovered the most infuriating (and entertaining) pick of the 2008 NFL Draft. The last time I wrote about it, it received an astounding number flame-comments, insults, and even death threats. It drove what I can only assume are rational people (though I have no evidence to prove this) completely insane.

Made them crazy (crazier than usual, anyway).

I was invited to participate in a knife fight. One guy even threatened to show up at my house to “convince” me I was wrong.

The Oakland-Raiders-040208">Oakland Raiders selecting DeSean Jackson with the fourth pick in the 2008 NFL Draft will be the most entertaining, and infuriating (if you’re a Raider fan), pick of the 2008 NFL Draft.

OK, maybe that won’t happen, but wouldn’t it be entertaining if it did?

No matter what happens, I’m sure we can all agree on one thing: Al Davis is completely insane.

He lost his mind years ago, and I’m pretty sure there’s a Denver Broncos fan playing a Weekend at Bernie’s type trick on the city of Oakland.

From the original Randy Moss trade, to the latest Randy Moss trade, this franchise has been an absolute mess. They hire and fire coaches like it’s nobody’s business. Since 2000, they’ve gone through five head coaches (Jon Gruden, Bill Callahan, Norv Turner, Art Shell, and Lane Kiffin).

The current head coach, Lane Kiffin, was pressured to quit and even had a resignation letter written for him by Al Davis earlier this offseason. You see, Al won’t fire him because he doesn’t want to pay him. But make no mistake about it, he doesn’t want Kiffin to coach his team either.

Kiffin, one of the few good decisions he’s made this decade, is the one decision he’s desperately trying to undo.

This is the same guy who hired Art Shell—in 2006—which may actually be the funniest thing he’s ever done.

They drafted their quarterback of the future last year, then watched him hold out until September. They traded the NFL’s best wide receiver for a fourth round draft pick.

Did I mention they hired Art Shell as their head coach in 2006?

To say they’re slightly dysfunctional is like saying the Yankees have a moderately high payroll.

So, you ask me what the most entertaining part of the 2008 NFL draft will be. It’s simple: the 10 minutes before and after the Oakland Raiders make their first round selection.

Watching Raider Nation, dressed in their crazy Halloween costumes, celebrate the selection knowing full well that they’re probably not going to see him play until he ends his holdout sometime in November will be thoroughly entertaining.

Watching the guy they draft grit his teeth when asked if he’s happy to be a Raider will be absolutely tremendous.

Watching Al Davis fumble his way through the post-pick interview and Lane Kiffin dodge questions about whether or not he was allowed in the draft room will be absolute must-see-TV.

Watching them make some ridiculous selection like DeSean Jackson and listening to Raider fans defend the pick will be gut-busting funny.

Watching Mel Kiper scratch his head while wondering if Al Davis actually watched any college football last season will be so funny, I might actually hold off on my Saturday drinking to ensure I get to watch while sober.

It’ll be serious entertainment.

More entertaining than Matt Ryan pulling a Brady Quinn. More entertaining than the Patriots having the seventh pick. More entertaining than the Detroit Lions drafting another wide receiver.

The Oakland Raiders are a complete laughing stock—the NFL’s version of the Baltimore Orioles.

No matter what they do, they’ll be the most entertaining thing in the 2008 NFL Draft.