As I’ve covered quite extensively, last year LA passed a law called Measure B, which mandated that all porn shoots in the county require the performers to wear condoms. That presented a bit of a problem, because, as a commenter to this site put it, “when I watch porn, I want to see the fantasy of sex, not think about the consequences of it.”

Porn tends to assume the same of many of its viewers, so to circumvent the (mostly unnecessary) law, most companies have taken to either shooting outside LA County, in places like Las Vegas, or possibly shooting without permits (as the sponsors of the law think is happening). But now one company is pioneering a more technological solution – having the condoms digitally removed in post-production.

…gay porn company Falcon Studios is now attempting to hearken back to the days before the measure was passed. In their latest release California Dreamin’ 1, the studio filmed all its scenes with condoms but managed to digitally remove the prophylactics in post-production.

Director Tony DiMarco stated on the Falcon Studio blog (which has some graphic content) that the film is meant to tap into fantasies of bareback sex in the 1970s and 80s, while also aligning with the safe sex ethos that is currently being enforced in LA. “With this movie I really wanted to capture the essence of that time, when life seemed more carefree and spontaneous,” said Dimarco. “In keeping with this concept, I felt that condoms need to be addressed.” [TheVerge]

That seems prohibitively expensive for a business that’s spending less than $1500 on talent in a lot of scenes. I wonder if the “condoms were removed in post production” claims are true in the same way that that the “barely legal” stars are all 18. So you say you removed the condoms “digitally” in “post-production.” You pinky ring swear?

It sounds too expensive to catch on, but that isn’t to say that it isn’t an option. Earlier this summer we heard that Nymphomaniac had digitally grafted its actors’ torsos to body doubles doing full penetration, which sounds a lot harder than removing a little condom ring. I’m an old school romantic, so I feel a little weird jerking off to a guy with digitally airbrushed wiener skin. But I’m sure this is all just a place holder until we advance to the stage where we can skip the middle man altogether and just have sex with our computers like Joaquin Phoenix. Which will eliminate the condom problem but will wreak havoc on the employment options for Arizona State grads.

The Mighty Wrecklahr would point to the wisdom of the lyrical performer Calvin Broadus to help relate the plain and simple truth of this situation:

From a young G's perspective
And before me dig out a bitch I have ta' find a contraceptive
You never know she could be earnin' her man,
And learnin' her man, and at the same time burnin' her man
Now you know I ain't wit that shit, Lieutenant
Ain't no pussy good enough to get burnt while I'm up in it

The Mighty Wrecklahr states implicitly that being a baktag Romulan and fagging the fuck out about condoms being used in any context of porn is irretrievably detrimental to society (particularly youth) and erodes any actual safe sex habits that sexual education classes are trying to teach and responsible adults are trying to perpetuate.

Anyone that argues to the contrary is an honourless, braindead, nameless Qiyom. If you cannot "get off" because of a condom, it is YOUR problem. Go take your AIDS and cry about it somewhere else, shit head.

By Kahless' Beard, you are like the Tea Party of pornographic condom use, a loud and obnoxious minority dogmatically chanting the mantra, "Don't Rubber On Me!" You believe that because you and a few pricks that back up your way of thinking and a couple of paranoid pornography producers somehow come together to form the Voltron of axiomatic jerk off material truth.

Where does the crowd of quiet people who are ambivalent to condoms in porn fit in to your scheme? In what numbers do you believe they exist?

Furthermore, where are the pornographic materials that contain condom use that clearly indicate a massive financial loss and monetary burden to a particular production company? Does this data even exist?

In fact, don't bother answering. The Mighty Wrecklahr can see it plain as day: "Don't Rubber On Me!"

HURT OF CONDOM
WHICH USED AS CONTRACEPTIVE
TO PREVENT PREGNANCY IN
WOMEN
_______________________

When the man using
CONDOMS
As contraceptive the woman
Become mad and crazy… this duo to the semen of
Man is remaining In the CONDOMS
And it was not ejaculated and dropping in
Vagina of women there is not sweet taste for
Sex meeting .
Like that you are drinking tea or coffee with out
Sugar the coffee or tea is not sweet it is bitter.

Semen
Of man is like Sugar it make the coitus and
Sex meeting sweet to woman
The sex meeting
Sweet With out
CONDOMS
When man is not Using
CONDOMS
In sex meeting with woman the
Semen of man will Ejaculated and dropping and
Falling in vagina of Woman then the semen is
Absorbed by vagina wall and inter the blood
Circulation and reached the brain
Then the women mind become in a convenience
Mood and good feeling she is not be a Madden Or Crazy woman
______________________

ADVICE FOR YOU
_______________________
To good enjoy and pleasure in your sexual live
And good ERECTION of your CLITORIS i give
You this ADVICE

STOP

Practice reading and writing
Because practice reading and writing
Loosening and lowering the SEXUAL ability and power of you.
GO TO LIVE IN Villages and forestry far from cities and towns
Practice READING and WRITING make you unusual
Woman or SODOMITE (SODOMY) women.
__________________________________
SO WE HAVE NEW METHOD FOR
CONTRACEPTION
————————————————————————————————–
BARLEY AS CONTRACEPTIVE AND
SEX TONIC FOR MEN AND WOMEN
___________________________