This was <bullying> of an insidious sort

Senior Member

Hi,
Here are some words from the novel Lady Chatterley's Lover(page 433, chapter 19) by DH Lawrence (planetebook,here):
(background:Connie said in her letter that she wanted to leave Clifford, but in his letter, Clifford insisted on meeting her in Wragby. But Connie didn't want to do anything, because she was afraid to go near him…）

If you(Connie) don’t come back to Wragby now, I shall consider that you are coming back one day, and act accordingly. I shall just go on the same, and wait for you here, if I wait for fifty years. (by Clifford in his letter)She(Connie) was frightened. This was bullying(=bullying behavor) of an insidious sort.

I don't think it a bully if a man waits for his beloved, on the contrary, it is deep love.. So why did Connie regard it as a bully please? Or, does bullying have special meaning?

Senior Member

Hi,
Here are some words from the novel Lady Chatterley's Lover(page 433, chapter 19) by DH Lawrence (planetebook,here):
(background:Connie said in her letter that she wanted to leave Clifford, but in his letter, Clifford insisted on meeting her in Wragby. But Connie didn't want to do anything, because she was afraid to go near him…）

If you(Connie) don’t come back to Wragby now, I shall consider that you are coming back one day, and act accordingly. I shall just go on the same, and wait for you here, if I wait for fifty years. (by Clifford in his letter)She(Connie) was frightened. This was bullying(=bullying behavor) of an insidious sort.

I don't think it a bully if a man waits for his beloved, on the contrary, it is deep love.. So why did Connie regard it as a bully please? Or, does bullying have special meaning?

I think the key thing here is the word "insidious". It is not outright bullying, it is "insidious bullying" - bullying that that is inconspicuous or stealthy. It's happening in the background and is not obvious to others.

I may be wrong, but isn't Connie's problem that Clifford won't grant her a divorce? Which is what he is implying when he says he will treat her as if she is coming back some day? So in that case, he is being a bully, by his inaction. In today's parlance, we might call it "passive-aggressive behaviour".

I think the key thing here is the word "insidious". It is not outright bullying, it is "insidious bullying" - bullying that that is inconspicuous or stealthy. It's happening in the background and is not obvious to others.