Saturday, March 27, 2010

I guess it's time to tackle this subject. Of course it would be illegal to pimp my stories out to underage kids--doing that wouldn't even cross my mind--but I think one should be twenty-one before one reads uncensored horror.

Why, do you ask?

Because I don't think a minor's mind can handle this shit. It amazes me that I can read it all the time and not go crazy (unless I'm already crazy, which is entirely possible, lol). And the Leisure Horror novels go even farther than Stephen King does. I don't want to be responsible for anyone losing their mind, having a nervous breakdown, etcetera (although abusing caffeine's probably behind the latter).

Instead of the Twilight saga, I recommend worthy horror stories without cussing and sex by authors like H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allen Poe, Mary Shelley, Robert Louis Stevenson and Algernon Blackwood. That way you're getting trained (if you're a writer) or entertained by quality shit, not douchey crap.

Just something to think about. I guess if certain parents let their kids have uncensored horror, then you got away with it, kiddo. But I don't want to be responsible for it.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Lucky enough to have been invited into the Masters of Horror writing organization, I've been asked to review the Masters of Horror anthology--not the same Masters of Horror on Showtime. I gladly oblige:

This was a entertaining read from beginning to end. The stories lurking within truly creeped me out on so many levels. There's still a bit of proofreading to be done, but what published book is typoless? Sixteen authors contributed to this antho' guaranteed to rob you of sleep at night by bringing you the nightmare you've most feared...

The first three stories are excellent. I especially loved Carole Gill's "Truth Hurts," where a woman writing about douchey vampires gets her comeuppance. A man is seduced by the lamia in "Ladies of the Scale" by Bob Morgan Jr., and Lee Pletzer's "Teeth" will make you think twice about taking your son fishing again. A boy gets revenge on abusive adults in "Devil Inside" by William Cook, and we go on a Lovecraftian journey with Jason Warden's amazing story, "Once Seen." K.K.'s "The Visitation" will have you shuddering, and Mark Edward Hall's "The Fear" makes a case against hunting for a lost relative. Other great, creepy tales are "Wounds" by Joseph Mulak and "The Barnes Family Reunion" by Angel Leigh McCoy.

One of my favorite parts of the book is the unrestrained gore, but if psychological is your thing, you'll also find compelling stories within. When this book comes out, any horror fan would be a fool not to get a copy.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I've been saying Coffin County by Gary A. Braunbeck is the scariest book I've ever read, but I don't think any writer today has anything on those 70's writers who wrote those satanic books like Rosemary's Baby and The Exorcist (believe it or not, there are scarier writers than Stephen King). I mean, really, is anything more frightening than that? I don't think so. I just finished RB the other night and I was more than haunted--I was outright spooked. I keep promising myself not to read those kind of books anymore, but being let down by most of the modern authors, I always find myself returning to them.

Back in the day, an author had to be way talented to have a book contract. You can't go wrong with 70's horror. I've never read a book from back then that I didn't like: The Wolfen by Whitley Strieber, The Hellfire Club and The Haunting of Julia by Peter Straub, and old Stephen King books when he was a hardcore horror author--you can't go wrong there.

It would be great if we modern authors made an effort to be original and gave it all we've got to achieve the scare, giving these classic authors a run for their money.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Well, it turns out sitting in a cubicle for eight hours is not for me. And I thought proofreading, critiquing, fixing critiqued stories, submitting all over, studying grammar and syntax and reading and writing all the time was a butt-load of work. Of course they had me selling fucking magazines (techically racing schedules but you get the idea), which was impossible. No matter what you said to those people they weren't fucking buying. Which is fine. Some people are talented to do that and some people are talented at writing horror. In fact, anyone with a job is talented at something. (I'm going to get myself in trouble here; people will say strippers? Bunny ranch employees? YEAH.)

Now I'm faced with finding another job where my success doesn't depend on other people or going back to washing windows. Oh well, my novel will be done and I'll be ready to query agents by this summer or fall.