Tag: Diamond & Silk

2016 was a vintage year for cooning. It was such a vintage year in grand coonery that if cooning in 2016 was a bottle of champagne it would be a bottle of that 1992 Dom Perignon. The 2016 cooning was so abnormally ubiquitous that the usual top ten year ending coon list had to be expanded exponentially to a top 100.

The good news is the level of coonery has dropped back down to normal levels in 2017 and we are back to the top 10. The bad news is niggas are still cooning hard which makes this list a necessity still. That said and with out further ado I present to you the top ten coons of 2017 and the last 10 people that you’d invite to the cookout or any other gathering of proud Negros in fellowship.

9 & 10 Diamond & Silk

Like their fearful leader and fellow wearer of bad hair pieces Donald John Trump, this unbearable unbeweaveable doltish duo traffic heavily in alternative facts. Their incoherent psycho babble even to the most loyal fucktrumpet white supremacist supporters of the American idiot in the Oval Office are nothing more than useful idiots (situational) to be called upon in those rare gatherings where wearing black face just won’t suffice to get said racist point/taunt/joke off.

Long story short this ratcharded duet sings one of the more innocuous coon tunes. They are the Mitchell & Ness of coonery. A throw back to the chitterling circuit and minstrel act days. They’re much more detrimental to the overall coon cause than they are to the culture because they represent the sum total of what being a coon is and that is to be a mascot for white supremacy. These two Nebraska Coonhuskers with all of the cooning that they’ve done in the Trump era error have earned themselves at best the right to have their faces dawned on a football helmet as the mascot of Billy Bob and thems favorite football team. Their YouTube channel and legion of Alt-right followers on twitter is pretty much their zenith.

8. Pastor Mark Burns

What do you call a black evangelical Christian? Other than a fool, a tool and a coon nothing. Pastor Mark Burns who has become an annual mainstay on these coon lists makes another top ten finish for his rabidly coontastic support for Roy Moore in his failed Senate bid. Amid allegations of being a child predator and upon the revelation that Judge Moore felt that America was last great back when Mark Burns ancestors were slaves. Being the steadfast fellow that he is Pastor Burns did not let a little racism and sexual assault against minors deter him from hopping aboard the Roy Moore Pony express. Mr Burns much like Cubic Zirconia and Polyester are not the kind of coons that are dangerously deceptive whereby they are a threat to attract more black people into joining their chorus of support for overt white supremacy. They are barely able to carry out their primary role which is to assuage white guilt by providing cover for overt racism. Their hyperbolic proclamations and embarrassing antics makes it hard for anyone not already on the Trump or alt-right bandwagon to take them seriously. In many ways they serve as living breathing and incessantly blathering examples of what we within the culture bemoan about token Negroes and how and why they are granted platforms. If you’re mediocre or less as a black person and you talk up white supremacy while talking down equality there’s a pretty good chance that you will land a job that will compensate you for far more than you’re worth.

#CooningForTheComeUp

7. Jason Whitlock

Jason Whitlock is another perennial top ten coontender for sell out of the year. Just like Pastor Burns and the hoodpossum duo of Diamond & Silk he’s a talent-less twit who only has a national platform because he recklessly uses it to denigrate black people and all of the worthy causes that the black community holds dear. What makes his coonery far more egregious than coontestants 8, 9 and 10 is the fact that his platform is not only a national one but it affords him the right to assault the the truth daily. The truth about black lives matter, the truth about why players take a knee for the anthem and just about any truth that speaks to the reality faced by the poor, black, brown and disaffected. His employer Fox Sports I suspect know this is why they hired him. The good news is the fact that they also hired Shannon Sharpe and that’s who we can thank for the skit behind the picture above being shelved before going live. Our “friend” Jason Whitlock thought that it would be a good idea to poke fun at Colin Kapernick and movement that he sacrificed his NFL career to support. While it never saw the light of day the point conveyed in the picture was crystal clear.

6. Sheriff David Clarke

Former Milwaukee sheriff and current Fox News coontributer David Clarke while high on the list for cooning this year had a pretty down year as it pertains to reaping rewards for his constant coonery. After being a faithful surrogate on the chitterling circuit extolling the virtues of the most virtue-less human being on earth he was expected to be taking a cabinet position with the administration somewhere within Homeland Security. That job never materialized. Instead what followed him was a series of lawsuits and investigations. He’s being sued for the inordinate amount of deaths in his jail as Milwaukee sheriff and now being investigated by the FBI for abuse of power. The dip shit sheriff also thought that it would be prudent to have his deputies harass an airline passenger for having the audacity to shake his head at his cooning ways. This led the FBI early in 2017 to get a warrant to search his email. Fortunately its probably why he did not get hired to work for the federal government and unfortunately for him why he did not rise higher on the top coon of the year list from 2016 to 2017. The good ole sheriff may soon see his usefulness expire.

5. Ray Lewis

Ray Rat is another two time top ten finisher. He actually finished number 2 last year out of 100 coontestants so finishing 5th this year among only 10 coontestants is kind of an improvement. Ray only had one certified major coon moment this year. After lambasting Colin Kapernick and his taking a knee during the anthem all last year Ray found himself at the cross roads of the culture that spawned his legend and the cross hairs of white fragility when he was forced to make a decision to take a knee or stand for the anthem. As fate would have it he was scheduled to be an honorary captain of his former Baltimore Ravens team for their overseas game in London the very same week that his president Donald Jerk Trump fired a salvo at the entire NFL by calling the protesting players sons of bitches while imploring their teams owners to fire them. Needless to say players around the league were more emboldened and defiant this particular week and players from both sides were demonstrative in their response to the presidents taunts. This left Ray with one of two choices. Stand for the anthem or take a knee. Never one to be confined by binary decision making the quick thinking former all pro linebacker took two knees leaving him with the predictable excuse that he was praying and not protesting. His lame excuse however did not inoculate him from the hail storm of salty white tears. In fact the very same white folks that offered him effusive and endless praise a year ago at this time for being a black face opposing social justice and equality managed to have a petition waged against him to have his statue removed from the Ravens stadium.

4. Malcom Jenkins

Now standing on the sidelines holding up a right fist 👊🏿 (the universal sign of black power and struggle in America) while the rest of the 50 thousand or so in the stadium are wittingly and unwittingly paying homage to chattel slavery and American aggression with hands on heart singing an ode written by slave owning Francis Scott Key is hardly something to label one with such a dubious distinction. However when that one player who hoisted a black power fist during the anthem co-opts a movement and starts to secretly negotiate on behalf of players taking knees during the anthem with demonstratively more skin in the game questioning the integrity of said dude is apropos. Even more damning is the devil within the details of the deal that this single player struck with NFL ownership to bring an end to NFL player protests of the National Anthem. To make a long story short. An NFL player that has never taken a knee during the anthem negotiated a deal with the NFL’s owners to bring an end to players taking a knee. And that’s not even the kicker. The kicker is that the almost 100 million pledged by ownership over a period of almost 10 years will only be granted if the players come up with half of the money. And oh yeah the money that ownership forks over will be deducted from funds earmarked for other worthy charitable giving like breast cancer and domestic violence.

Word to the wise. Never trust a nigga named Jenkins. He’s gonna do some Real Jenky shit on you 100 percent of the time.

3. Parris Denard Donald Trump has had a pretty tumultuous first year in office replete with all kinds of self inflicted foul ups, bleeps and blunders. He’s been criticized from all corners of the political spectrum for them. Almost all corners that is. Donald Trump is to Parris Dennard what Ms Jenkins was to Bonita Bitrell. He ain’t one to gossip but…

…Don’t nobody better say nothing bad about Ms. Jenkins Donald Trump in front of the boy Parris. He goes hard in the paint for Trump. Harder than anyone else on television. To the point that he’s become an easy and favorite target of CNN anti-Trump pundits. He’s taken some brutal beat downs on CNN panels in the last 12 months but remains steadfast as a stalwart defender of all things Trump.

He clearly wants that number one coon spot and though he may have come up short in 2017. He is in pole position for the number one coon spot in the future.

2. Ben Carson Uncle Ben is another annual attendee at the Coon award show. He’s cracked the top 5 for at least the last 3 years in a row. He gets the number 2 spot for 2017. With the departure of Niggarosa Manigault Dr. Carson remains the lone black face in the whitest presidential cabinet since Reconstruction. As the head of HUD Carson was made to appear on capitol hill to explain away the draconian cuts being made to agency. Carson had little grasp of the cuts or the intended and unintended consequences of them and how it would affect the people that vitally depend on it as a resource. His cringe worthy performance while being queried by Congressman Al Green will live in infamy and again serves as yet another reminder of the kind of ineptitude that even your most accomplished coons are equipped with. White privilege has nothing in coon privilege. Absolutely nothing.

1. Tim Scott

Token Timmy while under the radar in so far as embarrassing coon antics and overt expressions of love for master has been playing a major role in codifying the white supremacist gripe on America. He voted affirmatively to confirm Jeff Sessions as attorney general and Betsy Devose as Secretary of education two people whose policies directly impact in the most negative ways black people. He also voted to confirm the myriad unqualified hacks that will infect and infuse more top down racism in the judicial system for generations to come. He’s easily the most powerful black man in America next to Clarence Thomas and he’s arguably done as much damage to the future of black America in 2017 than Clarence Thomas has done over the last 25 years sitting on the Supreme Court.

Most recently he voted along with his white supremacist caucus in he senate to reform the tax code shifting even more of the burden to keep this nation afloat on the poor and middle class. At the all white white house day party celebration he was positioned up front as Dystopian Donald’s favorite African-American. If a silver-lining exists hopefully it will be that such an optic will finally illustrate to white Americans writ-large that coons are as detrimental to them and their future success as they have been to the black community. Not holding my breath but that is my hope.

Honorable Mention:

After coming in number one in 2016 Niggarosa Parks fell all the way off the list. To her credit and like she did her white house job sh went away kicking and screaming so don’t get it confused. She’s still a coon for life.

Herschel Walker as fullback for the New Jersey Generals of the USFL was once property of Donald Trump. Someone needs to get the memo to him that the USFL is now defunct and he’s no longer property of Donald. He seems not to be aware.After voting for and vocally supporting Donald Trump in 2016 the bad half of the Mary Mary tandem doubled down in 2017 for her support. She’s officially gone for good. Do not try to resuscitate.

Shout out to team Uncoon:

Don Lemon prior to 2016 was a fixture on the year ending coon list. I’m happy to report that his black card has been fully reinstated with no probationary period. Welcome back to black Don. Don’t fuck this up.While the black delegation is still mulling it it appears that Charles Barkley who ironically made the top 100 list in 2016, will have his card reinstated. He will likely be on probation for at least the first quarter if 2018.

2015 was another coontastic year full of black folks doing their latest and greatest “Shuck & Jive” routine to remain in the good graces of mainstream conservative white America. I could go on and on for days about the kind of self loathing self centered and selfish motivations that go into making certain black men and women suspend all manners of pride and common logic while spewing the most embarrassing rhetoric for the sole purpose of ingratiating themselves with the kind of dying breed of thought propagated on Fox news, but I don’t have all day and since we have already said farewell to 2015 I’m going to cut to the chase and share my top 10 Coons of the last 365 day cycle…

#10 Raven Symone

~ Now Raven is probably one of the more innocuous additions to this list because unlike the coons that will follow her she has not outwardly advocated for or co-signed the murder of black people, stumped for Trump or any of the more outlandish things that her brothers and sisters in coondumb are guilty of.

With that being said Raven is a black woman that has a national media platform and while The View to most serious people may be superficial day time programming in nature, Ravens words, thoughts and opinions reverberate and have wide spread resonance. With such a dearth in black voices in media she has a responsibility (whether she accepts this or not) to represent the overall interest of African-Americans as they portend to social uplift and all manners of equality. While Raven is far from the most egregious on air offender of black sensibilities I would be remiss not to coon-crown her for openly embracing discriminating against people with ethnic or as she puts it “ghetto sounding” names.

She received enough backlash for her banal brain musing that she did the unthinkable–at least for a coon. She actually apologized to black people and retracted her statement. And while there are other examples this year of her cooning we will not belabor the point because again, unlike the coons on the list that will follow her there is some hope. Let’s pray that she understands the error of her ways and does not make next year’s list.

#9 Jonathan Gentry

~ Now most don’t know this “Soul Glo” Negro. Hell, I barley know who he is. I just happened to pass one of his coonified productions on Facebook and could not help but to opine on the kind of chicanery chicoonery that he had on display. Of course the mostly all white people on his page that pats him on his greasy ass head for his Uncle Tom soliloquies rushed to defend their lawn jockey. My retort to his rabidly racist followers ended up getting me a 30 day ban from Facebook…

…so needless to say my number 9 selection was more personal in nature. Though the Coon-job that he’s pulling off is still worthy of mention.

#8 Rod Wheeler

~ Rod Wheeler is another lesser known coon (unless you are a Fox Newsbot) who deserves some recognition for his incessant coonery and failing of black people in media. The following clip speaks for itself. As a black man and former police officer he has totally abdicated his responsibilities to the community by co-signing the deaths of the innocent victims of racist policing in America. His answer to how to stop police killings of unarmed black people is to get out of their way and let them do their jobs. Oh and that there needs to be a change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He really said that…

#7 Kevin Jackson

~ Kevin Jackson is one of the better known hired guns (against black progress) of Fox News. He makes a living being the attack dog for white supremacy on air. No matter how egregious the offense to black people are he will always side with whatever Sean Hannity’s opinion is. He is to Sean Hannity what Justice Clarence Thomas is to Justice Antoion Scalaia–a lap dog.

His answer about what ails black America will always default to liberal policies, the Democratic party and Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson. No matter what the specific topic at hand is. I think we all know a coon or two like this guy.

#6 Diamond & Silk

~ Now these two coonettes were plucked from under the same rock of obscurity that the rest of Donald Trumps dangerously uneducated following crawled from under. The two of these women together can be described as nothing short of a minstrel act. The kind of cooning that they have on display would normally grant them a higher ranking but as I said earlier–2015 was quite the coontastic year and these birds have little to no influence on even the most guile among us so all this performance really amounts to is a modern day Amos and Andy skit.

Two extra mediocre ghetto birds with lace front weaves endorsing Donald Trump and his Mein Kampf style of politics amounts to being just a misdomeaner in comparison to the Trump endorsements coondorsements to follow…

#5 The Black Preachers that endorsed Trump

…because after all not even the average ghetto bird will follow these ghetto birds to the polls to vote for him. The Diamond and Silk coon combo at the end of the day will garner minimal (if any) black voters for Trump. Their purpose more than anything is to assuage white racist guilt and to allow Trump to keep on saying “The Blacks love me”. These black preachers stumping for Trump is a much more nefarious act of treason to the community because these men are literally paid to lead flocks of black people and they are knowingly leading their flock to vote for a man that overtly disdains them and is literally promising to increase their misery index. No matter what these men and women have done in their respective ministries in the past to uplift the community (if they’ve done that at all) they will now and forevermore be remembered for selling out the black and progressive cause for Donald Trumps chump change. They have reached the point of no return and are coons for life–the same holds true for their respective congregants. So yes, if you still sit in any of these house niggers pew on Sunday, you too are a coon for life.

Then there was this…

#4 Omorosa

Omorosa was the actual ring leader of the Black Preachers for Trump Coon Brigade. She’s higher on the list and singled out because in addition to being an ordained minister she’s a very accomplished woman and has enough merit and stripes that such cooning on her part for Donald Trump is wholly unnecessary. Her literally whoring for one of the most overtly racist men to run for president since Barry Goldwater should forever relegate her to being nothing more than a coon, bed wench, mammy (insert Uncle Tom pejorative of choice).

#3 Ben Carson

~Mr. Gifted Hands has anything but a gifted mind. His meteoric yet ephemeral rise to the top of the GOP presidential polls mirrors that of Herman Cains rise (and fall) four years ago. By now it’s pretty obvious that both men are the ultimate tokens of the Grand Ole Party’s fledgling nomination process whereby they serve as the ultimate cover for the most ignorant and bigoted voters (and pollsters that corral them) in the nation and allow them to opine in the most mind numbing racist ways only to claim that they are not racist because they are voting for a buffoon named Ben. Even the dolts that claim to be supporting this useful idiot know that come Super Tuesday his name will be no where near a ballot.

Ben Carson is the Rain Man of brain surgery–politics not so much. In the school of medicine the dude is genius extraordinaire. In the school of politics, common sense and all things unrelated to cutting open the medulla oblongata, he’s arrested in his development and suffering from an undiagnosed case of Asperger’s (no offense to anyone with a child on the autism spectrum). He’s more socially awkward, inept and out of place on the national political stage than a 3rd grader at the opera. The good news is that by this time next election cycle he will be the same faint and distant memory (and footnote in history) that Herman Cain is today because his useful idiocy will have long expired. Enjoy Corky while you can.

#2 Sheriff David Clarke

Sheriff David the Coon Clarke has never met a police shooting of an unarmed black person that he did not agree with or co-sign as great police work. His rise to notoriety (mostly via Fox and CNN) coincides with and is in direct correlation to the level of outrage generated by the myriad murders by police caught on tape. He’s paraded around the networks to basically explain away racist police policies and abuse of authority. This makes him one of the most dangerous men (for blacks) on television.

And oh yeah, his answer to what ails the black community is single black women.

“It’s a hate group, they’re no different than the skinheads or the KKK. They are people who have never been taught to love. From the beginning of their lives they were taught to hate, blame and become victims. They’re just spending a lifetime blaming white Americans, blaming slavery for their lack of good parents in the homes and their lack of love… If Black Lives Matter was a white radical group, doing exactly what these black people are doing, they would be shut down. America would not allow that to happen…white Americans feel helpless and they have fear and they allow black lives matter, and other groups, to destroy our country…I’ve done a lot of work in the prisons and jails, and juvenile detention centers over the years. They have taught, and are teaching black youth, both male and female now, that Christianity is the white man’s religion and that Islam is the black man’s religion…At one point, I was a liberal Democrat, and I had the same anger as Black Lives Matter have because my father wasn’t there for me. Instead of people helping me to forgive him, they told me it was white racism, so I had to same hatred for white people…But I went to God and asked him to show me what was wrong, he allowed me to see it was that anger that starts in the home.

Uncle Ruckus could not have said that any better (from the purview of a coon of course). And if that is not enough to justify his top billing as Coon of the year the following clip should cement his standing

When Sean Hannity has to tell you to dial back the coonery–you have officially earned the title Coon of the Year.