Unbagging the Cats 1

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I Bawl, You Bawl, We All Bawl for Grammar Police

From the gal who brought you The Great Patty Wagon Round-Up, based on the unfortunate misuse of sound-alike words, I now present: Who's Got the Bawls to Tackle this Subject?

Today's sadly inappropriate word switcheroo was chosen because it was discovered twice in one day. The first source was a comment on a mid-western political-type blog, by a person of patriotic ilk. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The second instance of poor word selection was the update thread on a Big Brother site. In both cases, the mental images created are a bit disconcerting.

Exhibit 1-

I balled when I stepped foot on American soil again.

Okaaaayyyyy. Some things are better kept private. That's really nobody's business. It's between you and your balling partner. And perhaps the witnesses to the incident at the airport or the shore...wherever your foot (or other appendages) touched soil.

Exhibit 2 -

Shelly balling in the kitchen. She doesn't want her daughter to see her upset. Kalia and Dani comforting her.

First of all, Shelly knows that a kitchen is no place for balling. She is a clean freak, always spraying and polishing and sweeping and washing. So she should be ashamed. And in what universe is it appropriate for a daughter to see her mom balling? Surely, it's obvious that Shelly is not upset. She's balling, for cryin' out loud! But to further kinky-up the moment, Shelly has an audience. It does not appear that Shelly needs any comforting. So Kalia and Dani need to make themselves scarce, lest they put the kibosh on Shelly's balling.

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This public service message has been brought to you by Val Thevictorian. Who has no desire to read about somebody balling her eyes out, and advises folks to do a quick Google if they're unsure of a word. Please.