DEEP SEATED:For these youngsters to stand and watch today’s Mets-Padres season-opener at Citi Field, it will cost each of them $53 ... without being able to sit down. Photo: Anthony J. Causi

DEEP SEATED: For these youngsters to stand and watch today’s Mets-Padres season-opener at Citi Field, it will cost each of them $53 … without being able to sit down. (
)

Times Square, circa 1970. Clip joint after clip joint, creeps in the doorways trolling for “live ones.” Faded “Going Out of Business, 75%-Off” signs, yellow at their edges.

That Times Square is now the business model for our local teams and the leagues — the landlords — in which they operate. Our teams line up to rip us off, scam every dollar until the only deal left for the self-respecting is to go away, stay away.

Up and down, all around. PSL Stadium over there, Jimmy Dolan’s Madison Grab Gulag over here; Ponzi Park in Queens, Second Mortgage Stadium in The Bronx.

The Mets, a franchise in disarray, disrepair and disrepute, this offseason desperately got busy pitching overpriced tickets attached to hooked bait — the opportunity to buy obscenely priced tickets to July’s All-Star Game. With “Bottom Line” Bud Selig, grab as much as you can, do as you wish; the steal sign’s always on.

Friday, the Mets came up with something. E-mails, sent to data-banked suckers, old and new, carried big news. It read, “THIS JUST IN: A limited supply of Opening Day $45 standing room only tickets are available NOW.”

That satire-proof news was followed by the phone number attached to ticket sales and a recording that carried only one message about this season’s Mets: “Citi Field is home of the 2013 MLB All-Star Game!”

But for $45 one can today stand and watch a Padres-Mets game. Yesterday, a Mets’ phone rep said the ticket bought by phone/on-line would cost another $8-$10 in service fees, thus a standing room ticket to Opening Day would cost at least $53.

Yup, the Mets are so shamed by what they’ve become and who their owners have chosen as business associates, they’re so eager to restore or establish good faith relations with those they priced out and with those they sold, today they’ll sell you a pricey ticket that doesn’t come with a seat, unless you use a restroom.

The upside is the Mets are expected to have a miserable season, which means games sold as Sunday, 1 p.m. starts — and sold as kids’ and family come-ons — are unlikely to be switched to 8 p.m. for ESPN.

It’s like owning Jets and Giants PSLs, when TV money calls the shots: Bad teams play at sensible times. The better your team, the bigger the sucker. That 1 p.m. game outdoors in early December? Well, fool, now it’s Sunday night, 8:30.

So minimally, it’ll be $45 to stand through Padres-Mets in Queens today. Here, April Fool’s is every day.

Kansas coach not guilty of Self-loathing

KANSAS-Michigan on Friday was a classic, and credit belongs to Jayhawks coach Bill Self for not having his team foul Trey Burke with KU up three, eight seconds left in regulation — the moment Burke touched the ball. But coaches on all levels continue to choose to allow opponents tie the game with a reasonable chance rather than the nearly impossible.

Steve Kerr, at the end of regulation of that game on CBS, was correct:

As basketball continues to add “instant” replay uses, these stoppages intrude to the point where totally unintended and wildly unjust changes to games occur. In Friday’s case, Michigan, no timeouts left with seconds left, was given an important timeout while a replay was studied.

Leave the game alone! Let refs ref. For better and worse, games should be decided on the court and not in a courtside one.

* Yeah, CBS gets it. Michigan yesterday played a superb team game to crush Florida. Yet, with 1:04 left, CBS chose to present a slo-mo of Tim Hardaway, Jr., who was 3-for-13, beating his chest.

In the NCAA Tournament-related commercials in which Greg Anthony has appeared, he’s not wearing that large sparkling (diamonds?) earring he wears on CBS.

Syracuse-Marquette on Saturday, was a weird watch; even in wide shots, live stuff happened out of frame. Late, when the Orange’s C.J. Fair blocked a shot in the lower left of the screen, we had to take Verne Lundquist’s word for it.

* One hopeful development from this Tournament was play-by-player Kevin Harlan toned it down several decibels.

* With Wrestlemania a week out, another pro wrestler, as if on cue and as per the norm, was found dead in his motel room from as yet unknown causes. Reid Fliehr, son of pro wrestling star Ric Flair, was 25.

* After nearly three hours covering Andy Murray–David Ferrer, live from Miami yesterday, CBS collided with Florida-Michigan, sending the balance to Tennis Channel. No big deal — unless you don’t get Tennis Channel.

West Point trip would have been better without sound

Yanks at West Point on Saturday, was neat — if you could endure Michael Kay beating the YES telecast into a wincing burden with his maudlin, trite recitations and explanations. At the top, he said, ugh, that the U.S. Military Academy and the Yankees “are built on similar principles.”

One moment it was a grade-school speech on what our military means to us, the next it was how the Cadets should be grateful to the Yankees, and how no one was a greater supporter of our armed forces than George Steinbrenner.

With Col. Glenn Goldman, West Point’s Director of Military Instruction, in the booth — and in uniform — Kay asked him, “Have you ever been on active duty?”

“I am now,” he said.

“I mean front lines,” Kay said.

And in a full-screen list of Yankees who served in the military — which included Steinbrenner — Jerry Coleman, the most combat (World War II, Korea) decorated Yankee of all, was omitted.

* Gus Triandos, briefly a Yankee but a longtime Orioles’ catcher, died last week at 82. When we were kids, Triandos’ at-bats were not to be missed. He ran so slowly he risked being thrown out at first on line drives to right. In 13 seasons Triandos, who could hit (167 HRs), had one stolen base — no doubt on a hit-and-run.

* First, MSG’s Joe Micheletti told us how unlucky the Rangers are to be losing, 2-0, to Montreal, in the first on Saturday. After the first, Bill Pidto and Ron Duguay said likewise from the studio. In the end it was another unlucky Rangers loss — this one, 3-0 — on MSG.