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It’s the day after Christmas, and although many of you may not celebrate this holiday, I’m aware that there are other family celebrations happening around this time; and I know what that means. It means many of you are nursing some deep wounds today, afflicted by members of your family. Members you thought would give you love, but gave hate instead. Perhaps it was an aunt who brought up the mistakes of your past, mistakes she can never forgive you for committing. Or maybe it was a grandparent who greeted other members of the family warmly and then barely acknowledged you. It might have been a group of cousins who chose to ignore and ostracize you from the family, letting you know they find you unworthy of their time or conversation.Whatever the grievance, you are hurting and wondering why you are receiving such nasty treatment from people who are supposed to accept and encourage you. I want you to know that I’m thinking of you today, and I don’t have easy answers. Quite frankly, it makes me sick to see people act this way. You may wonder if it will ever get better. I can’t say. However, I do have a little piece of truth for you to hang onto in this moment, one you can repeat when the pangs of hurt come crashing over you:“It reflects badly on them.”Regardless of their reasons for being upset, their choosing to treat you badly instead of trying to solve their issue and repair a family connection reflects badly on their character - not yours. Remind yourself of this fact every time those nasty scenes replay in your mind. Then set some boundaries for yourself. You do not have to allow people to bully you, even if they are family. Respect them? Yes. Retaliate? No. Give yourself space from them? By all means, yes! And if they decide to repair the relationship? Should we forgive them, even after the years of hurt they’ve caused? Yes. Let’s offer them the grace they should have been showing us. They are family, after all. Until then, friends, keep being yourselves. You are worthy of love just as you are, even when you’re different from your family.

After months of researching bullying and trying to write a story for the victims, I've come to a firm realization: You have a better chance of getting through life if you have a tribe of people who support you.

Life can be downright messy at times, and we're all going to have those days--

Days where our hearts will be hurt by people we care about.Days we don't think we have the energy to face.Days that feel as if we've been dragged through the streets behind a large truck.

During those times we need to reach out and talk to people. We need to find people who will speak words of life and hope into our mess. This is the crucial part.

It's easy to find people who will commiserate with us—grumble and complain whenever we need someone to join us in our misery. It's much harder to find people who will support us in our healing. If you have someone in your life who speaks truth and encouragement over you, hold onto them. Be open to them. Listen to them.

I don't know where I'd be without my tribe. Whenever I'm having "a day," these ladies are a text away. Their words bring comfort and help. I've learned from their advice, and I've cherished their visits to support me. I'm the woman I am today because of the love they've poured into my life.

That's what tribes do—they pour into our lives and help us become stronger. ​

This lovely girl is my daughter. Hidden beneath her smile is a real joy for life, but it wasn't always this way. It's hard to be excited about life when you're being bullied, and this girl was bullied throughout middle school and high school. In those days, her smile hid a pain that was too deep for words, and it made her attempt suicide on more than one occasion.

Luckily, she survived... Every. Single. Try.

Man, how thankful I am she lived—not just because she's my daughter and I love her—but because she's the bravest girl I know, and I admire her so much! What spirit she has! What strength! What beauty she showed as she rose above the crisis!

Those days were difficult, I won't lie. But in the middle of the battle, my girl found her brave—and she's enjoying a happy life because of it. She's getting her degree. She's working a job she loves. She's hugging her daughter.

She's happy. Really happy.

Find your brave.

Speak to someone. March past the people who are bullying you and refuse to listen. Find a way to get through the day...each and every day. You won't regret it. It'll be worth the struggle.

Is it possible to bully someone without saying a word? I find myself wondering that today, and I keep landing on the same answer: yes. In fact, I think it's one of the cruelest forms of abuse I've seen, as it cuts at the core of every human's need to be acknowledged, accepted, and loved.

Over the Christmas holiday, I watched an entire family ignore one of their family members. This young man sat on the couch for most of the day, quietly watching the other family members hug and talk to one another. He sat there for hours without any interaction. In the past, this family has justified their treatment of this relative by saying no one likes him. He's weird. He's different. He doesn't fit in with the family. He's always been strange. They end their conversation with the phrase, "It's so sad." I guess that's the one thing on which we all agree. It is so sad. It's so sad seeing someone who has been through a lot of trauma get treated cruelly by his family.

I've tried giving them the benefit of the doubt. I've tried telling myself that maybe they've forgotten that holidays bring back memories of dead relatives, and they didn't realize he was feeling sad and wishing he could celebrate with his father one more time. Or perhaps they didn't take time to consider he was looking forward to seeing his family and having a warm, happy experience.

But should those things really matter? Doesn't every human being deserve to be spoken to politely and shown warmth over the holidays from their family members? Especially from family members who complain loudly about the intolerance of the future President Trump?

I'm not sure this family's definition of tolerance matches my own. However, there is one thing I'm sure about. Tolerance begins at home, and it starts with being kind to family members, even those who think and act differently than the rest of their family. Kindness trumps hate everywhere, even at home.

Hey, I saw what they posted on your Facebook page, and it made me angry. It's not right that they are coming into your personal space and harassing you. You don't have to put up with it!. Here are some things you can do to protect yourself:

Block the bullies from contacting you.Contact your phone and Internet service providers and report what is happening. They can help you block messages or calls from certain senders.

It also helps to change your username, email, and cellphone number. Make sure you share your information with people who have no contact with the bullies. Check your friends' contact lists carefully. Are any of them friends with someone who may have ties to the people who are harassing you? ​

Understand that what they are saying is wrong and hurtful.Don't believe what they say or let their bullying make you think something is wrong with you. Remember: Bullies don't worry about being truthful. They just want to hurt you.

Let someone you trust know what is happening. They can support you and may be able to find a way to help.

Lay low and don't reply to the messages.Things will only get worse if you do. Plus, that is what the bully wants anyway: they want a reaction from you.

You should always keep a record of the bullying.Print out the harrassing messages and keep them in a file. If the messages are threatening, contact the police. You do not have to put up with this harassment, friend. Protect yourself.

There are some people in my life that love to point out my faults. They make rude remarks, roll their eyes when I talk, and treat me like I'm not worth knowing. Down inside I know I shouldn't care what they think, but I'd be dishonest if I told you it didn't hurt me deeply each time.

Do you have people like these in your life, people who bring you down just because you're different? It may seem like you’re alone, but you’re not. About 25% of kids your age are bullied on a daily basis.

As a teen, you already have a hard time believing the best about yourself; but having a bully point out every flaw? It makes being a teen even harder. It causes you to feel unworthy and makes you wish you never had to show your face again.

What Can You Do?

​Despite how you feel or what the bully may be saying about you, there is no excuse for their harassment. You have many great qualities and you shouldn’t be ashamed for being who you are. Although there is no best way for handling bullies, here are some strategies you can try the next time you're being bullied:

Walk Away Bullies love to see reactions in their victims. If you walk away, you take away all of their fun and show them they are not in control of your emotions. They’ll stop picking on you if there can’t get anything out of it.

React with HumorThis reaction is a great way to gain control of the situation, because it’s not the reaction the bully is expecting and it may throw them off-course. They may start laughing and forget about their harassment.

Act Confident Standing tall and making eye contact sends a strong message to the bully that you are not weak or vulnerable...the exact opposite of what they want in a victim.

Stick Together Whenever possible, stick with a group of friends, so the bully can’t get you alone. The old saying, “strength in numbers” holds true.

Tell SomeoneThe only way your bully will be caught and stopped is if people in authority know what’s happening. Tell them.

You Deserve to Live a Life Free From Bullying

Whatever you do, don’t stay silent and let the hate continue. You deserve to live a life free from bullying. Step up and begin to confront the issue, even if it makes you nervous. Bullying can be stopped.

And remember: it's NEVER worth taking your life!

If you or someone you know is on the verge of suicide PLEASE call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or go to the nearest hospital emergency room IMMEDIATELY so you can get help!

Maybe you're afraid to tell someone because you don't want to be judged.

Maybe you think others will believe you deserve it, since it's being done by a family member.

Maybe you're so tired from the stress, you just want to tuck yourself under a blanket and forget about the pain and hateful words...the fighting... the explaining...the defending.

My encouragement to you is this:

You deserve love. Not for any other reason, other than you’re human and your life is priceless.

Please know there is never a good reason for someone to bully you, not even for family members.

Bullying done in the name of love is still bullying. Don't make excuses for them. Their nit-picking, put downs, constant criticism, lack of affection, complaining to others about you, silent treatment and hitting are all forms of abuse.

It's abuse you don't have to take.

It's okay to seek refuge for yourself, especially when you are being physically harmed. Remove yourself from the situation when you see things escalating. Go lock yourself in the bathroom or walk out the door and leave.

Did you hear me, friend? Leave if you are in an unsafe situation. Get someone to help you if you are afraid to do it alone.You can do this.

You are strong,You are brave,You can do hard things.

You are valued.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please know you are not alone.We're here if you need us.