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Friday, February 18, 2011

Marriage was not designed to make you happy, satisfied,
or whole. If you go into it for any of the aforementioned reasons,
you’re in for a rude awakening.

Some of my friends asked me to expound, so I guess I’ll take a stab at it here.
First let me preface this post by saying that I in no way claim to
be an expert on marriage. My husband and I have been married a little
under four years and we’re still learning a lot of things about being
married. If you want expert advice, talk to someone who’s been at this
for decades (and let me listen in). I can only share what I’ve learned
so far. Further, I assure you that, despite the tone of this post, I
really love being married. However, I don’t want people to be
delusional about what marriage is or is not. So let me share with you
what marriage cannot do.

Marriage cannot make you happy.
I think it’s safe to say that many people who want to be married
think that marriage will make them happy, but I maintain that’s just
not true. We’ve all grown up with the fairy tales where the princess
finds a prince, gets married, and lives “happily ever after.” Simply
put, nothing can “make” you happy. Absolutely nothing. Happiness is a
personal choice and is not contingent upon one’s circumstances. There
are plenty of happy poor folks and miserable millionaires. If you
aren’t happy before marriage, chances are you won’t be happy in it. And
unfortunately, a lot of people get dejected when they enter a marriage
and realize they’re not as happy as they thought they’d be. Learn to be
happy independent of outside influences.

Marriage does not equal satisfaction.
Let me be clear: you will not be completely satisfied in your
marriage 100% of the time. You’re talking about two people who were
raised by different mothers, were taught different standards, and
somehow decided it would be a good idea to join together and become a
unit. But because they are still two very distinct people, clashes
naturally arise when expectations don’t align with reality. He has
different ideas about cleaning than you do. She has different ideas
about money than you do. You both thought sex would be more plentiful
than it currently is. Somebody is going to be disappointed occasionally.

There is not a single person on earth who can completely live up to
your expectations because all of us fall short. Whomever you marry will
likely disappoint you, and I’m sure you won’t do much better. And don’t
think you can change the things you don’t like about him or her. That’s
a dead-end road, and even if you did “fix” those things, chances are
you’d only find more things later that need to be “fixed.” Go into a
marriage expecting the other person to fall short (within reason) and
decide preemptively to extend some grace when they do.

Marriage cannot make you whole.
Everyone wants to feel complete, whether it’s in their careers or
their personal lives. They somehow don’t feel like they can sit back,
relax, and enjoy life until they have something they’ve always wanted.
Sadly, plenty of people put their happiness on hold for some
hypothetical day in the future when they have everything they want,
including a marriage and family. If partial contentment is your status
quo and the way you live your life, I can guarantee you that once you
do obtain the things you think you want, you’ll find a reason not to be
happy with them. Something will always be out of place.

Oh and another thing… do NOT go into a marriage expecting your
spouse to make you better, fix your hurts from your past, or give you
everything you ever thought you’d need. Only God can do that. Please,
if you have personal issues that you’re aware of, work on them before
you get married or you will sabotage yourself. Your spouse is not your
therapist or your fairy godparent.

So, why get married in the first place?
Well, only you can answer that. But I can tell you one indispensible
prerequisite for a successful marriage: be prepared to work. Marriage
is beautiful, blessed, and sacred, but it’s not for punks. They say it
takes work, but I say it more than requires work — it is work
personified. It is a full-time job requiring a lot of spiritual,
mental, and emotional strength. When you hear the words “for better or
for worse,” imagine what the “worse” could possibly look like and
honestly ask yourself if you have the wherewithal to thrive in those
situations. If you don’t have it, that’s fine. There are far worse
fates in life than to live it as a single person. But if you feel you
have the fortitude to fully submit to another person until one of you
leaves this earth, by all means go for it.

There is honestly no nobler thing than to dedicate your life to
someone other than yourself, which is essentially what marriage is. You
have to have the heart of a servant to do this thing correctly. Can you
still fix him a plate even after he’s thoroughly pissed you off? Would
you still put gas in her car for work tomorrow even after she’s stepped
all over your ego? After days of fighting and arguing, can you still
muster the humility to pray for one another? These are the types of
things successfully married people do. In this job, you don’t clock out
just because you’re not “feeling it.” That’s a hard thing for people to
understand in a culture of selfishness, but it is what it is. Strong
marriages are comprised of strong people, so you must ask yourself
before you get to the altar, “Am I strong enough?”

Denise is a wife, mother, professional web designer, and minister-in-training living in the D.C. area. Check out her blog, How Mama Got Her Swag Back.

Post
Obama, it has been interesting to watch so many of us acting like
"liberty, justice and equality" just got served, put our blinders back
on, continue to accept hegemony,all while considering ourselves some
how lucky to be in the land of the "free".

Well wake up! Ain't
ish changed only the masters style of trickery. Just look at the prison
system, which with privatization, has become big business for cheap
labor plucked straight out of hoods. We got brothas in the pen making
everything from your latest style of fashion to airline reservations
for 20 cents an hour.

"What has happened over the last 10 years? Why are there so many prisoners?

The private contracting of prisoners for work fosters
incentives to lock people up. Prisons depend on this income. Corporate
stockholders who make money off prisoners' work lobby for longer
sentences, in order to expand their workforce. The system feeds
itself," says a study by the Progressive Labor Party, which accuses the
prison industry of being "an imitation of Nazi Germany with respect to
forced slave labor and concentration camps."

So the next time you marvel at your American made t-shirt, think of
racial profilling, the intentional flooding of our hoods with guns and
drugs, and all the laws that support locking us up and the nation that
continues to thrive on our backs.

A new study details how African American boys are suspended at
double and triple the rates of their white male peers. English language
learners who, for years, remain in separate classes, are falling behind
their peers and scoring poorly on standardized tests. Disabled students
and those with illnesses are also discriminated against because of
their impairments.
The Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights received nearly
7,000 complaints this fiscal year, an 11 percent increase and the
largest jump in at least 10 years, according to data provided by the
department. The increase comes as the office proceeds with 54
compliance reviews in districts and institutions of higher education
nationwide, including cases involving disparate discipline rates and
treatment of students with disabilities.

Information on the reports was provided to The Associated Press
under a Freedom of Information Act request. They highlight issues that,
in some cases, have long been documented, like the disparate discipline
rate between black and white male students, and in other cases are
reflective of the new challenges facing schools, such as changing
demographics and rising numbers of students with diabetes and food
allergies, now considered disabilities.

At the Christina School District in Delaware, 71 percent of black
male students were suspended in a recent school year, compared to 22
percent of their white male counterparts, Ali said.

The district has repeatedly been under the national spotlight for
its strict enforcement of a zero tolerance policy, going so far as to
expel a third-grader whose grandmother sent her to school with a
birthday cake and a knife to cut it. Zero tolerance policies, which
enact harsh punishments on everything from swearing to weapons or drug
possession, have been widely instituted.

Critics say they are ineffective and a one-size fits all solution,
and are partly to blame for the growing disparity between white and
black discipline rates and a school-to-prison pipeline for those
punished.

I normally don’t pay much attention to lists, but I decided that
this one was worth while creating.? So after a round table discussion
and much thought, I came up with my list of mistakes that I’ve noticed white women make when dating black men.?10.? Being too demanding.? I’ve
noticed that white women will be demanding and that doesn’t go over
well with a black man.? Resentment can be created quickly with this
approach.

9.? Not acknowledging culture differences.?
Yes, there are differences in our culture.? It starts with everything
from social themes, family background, diets, and even style of dress.

8.? Public Confrontations.? Black
men hate being confronted by their mate in public.? If there’s a
disagreement, we would rather have you talk about this in private.?
Public embarrassment is never a good option.

7.? Being to accessible.? There
are too many times when white women are available for him when ever he
calls, because that is the only time he has available.? Black men can
and/or will abuse that option more than others.

6.? Give too much financially.?
This one is a popular but not forgotten.??Often, white women?think they
have to get his attention by buying him gifts, taking him on vacations,
and even cloths.? This is a major mistake in my opinion.

?5.? Try to be a player.? I’ve
watched white women try to date several black men at the same time.?
They don’t think any of them will find out.? The truth is, we all don’t
know each other, but we do share our dating notes.? The interracial
dating scene is a small world.?

4.?? Attempting to be hip.? Just
because you’re dating interracial, doesn’t mean you have to talk
different, act different, and dress different.? He was attracted to you
for who you are, and not what you could be.3.? The Myth isn’t true.? Yes, I
called it ‘the myth’.? Not all black men are well endowed sexually.?

Physically, we are proportionate just like everyone else.? I don’t
think I need to explain more on this one.?2.? Not being assertive.? Black men are confident.? We are attracted to women with direction, confidence and energetic.? This has been referred to as a ‘Go Getta’.

?1.? The ‘N’ word.? Richard Pryor
made jokes about it, but it’s true.? Just because you’re in a
interracial relationship, doesn’t give you the ability to use the ‘N’
word.? Some black men are thug types and use this vocabulary
regularly.? There are also ?educated, business minded?black men that
don’t use it at all.? There’s never a? reason why a white woman can use
this word.

Deluded Black Women Think A White Hero Will Save Them!

It’s all over the place wherever you look – interracial marriage this,
interracial dating that – dating websites springing up galore. For the
last 3 decades it
has been predominantly Black men who have dated out of the race
(usually dating White women) but now Black women are saying ”Why not us
too?”, to which I say: “Fat Chance”

And “fat” is a very accurate word to use, seeing as it correctly
describes a significant proportion of the Black female population in
the UK, USA and many other western countries. The White man will not be
hurrying by anytime soon to pick up what the Black man didn’t want. No
man wants another race’s leftovers. It all boils down to what I said in
my previous article (for which I got so much abuse – but I will not be
silenced!) entitled “Forget It Black Women You’ll Never Get Married.” CLICK HERE FOR LINK.

My advice to Black women is this: if you can find a White man dumb enough,
er, willing to pair up with you then go for it – but remember: for a
White man to cross over and date a Black woman she must really have A
WHOLE LOT GOING ON FOR HER in terms of beauty, career and achievements
a la Halle Berry, Iman etc. So don’t be expecting a White man to be
showing any interest in you if you are a ghetto-dwelling,
Monique-sized, single mother of 3 answering to the name of Shaniqua
Jackson.

Understand this Black women – in order to get an average-looking,
average-achieving White guy, YOU HAVE TO LOOK AND BE EXCEPTIONAL – A
HIGH ACHIEVER! And that’s just to get an average White guy! If you are
large, overweight, unattractive and carrying a brood (kids), the only
kind of White man you will attract is:
a) The junkie-type that thinks you can surely get him a good supply because you’re Black.
Or
b) The kind of White guy with so many issues that no one in the
White community wants him. Either he is pig ugly with very bad teeth or
mentally unbalanced – and the men in white coats could appear at
anytime to return him to the institution from which he escaped.

I hate to break it to you so harshly, Sistas, but the truth is:

The very things about you that keep Black men away
will more than likely also repel White men, Asian men, Chinese men and
Martian men.

If it makes you feel happy to believe that dating out of the race is
the answer – then go for it, but only a few of you will succeed because
most of you are “not up to requirements.”
You know what I mean, we’ve talked about this before – obesity,
horrible hair-weaves, loud mouth and bad attitude, less than dainty
features (not your fault but still a fact) etc.

So Black Ladies, why don’t you grab the bull by the horns – instead of
looking for a hero/saviour outside the race, why don’t you deal, once
and for all, with the real problem here: You!

Once you have sorted you out, men from far and
wide will be coming for your hand – so much so that Black men might
even start to feel threatened by all these White and non Black men that
are stealing their Black women.

But right now, Black men don’t feel threatened at all – not in the slightest.

Strategic Dialogue And Two-Way Relation Can Be Affected, US: The US
says that due to Raymond David case, the strategic dialogue and two-way
relation can be affected.
During a briefing in Washington, US State Department spokesman Mark Toner said that we are working to resolve this issue of Raymond Davis’s diplomatic immunity with Pakistan.

Raymond is being provided with full cooperation of US Consulate. Toner
also said that Senator John Kerry did not go to Pakistan for release of
Raymond, rather just wanted to analyse Pakistan’s stance upon this
issue.
American Raymond Davis has been held in Pakistan for the past three
weeks after shooting two Pakistani men dead in what he says was
self-defence. Pakistan has rejected US claims that Davis has diplomatic immunity, and a court hearing has now delayed any decision until the middle of next month.

Answering a question, US State Department spokesman Mark Toner said that Raymond Davis has been kept in Pakistan without the consent of US.

Nissan is utterly geared up to unveil the novel concept of Nissan ESFLOW
at the 2011 Geneva Motor Show. While it is eco-friendly, the vehicle’s
manifestation is stunning and does not relinquish performance. It is an
electric vehicle that is strikingly vivacious and the coupe employs the
same technology as LEAF but much sportier to fascinate the fervent ones.
The ESFLOW is an RWD with two electric motors at the rear wheel. The
laminated lithium-ion battery gives the vital power required by the
motor and ultimately it is the best as it can travel up to 240km per
charge. It is asserted that the vehicle can accelerate from a standstill
to 60 mph within 5 seconds.
The concept car is said to have its color brainwave from glaciers.
Plummeting weight was an important design constraint and it does not
have profound metal frames or thick upholsteries in the interior. Fixed
on the car’s rear partition the seating system is static yet comfortable
and spacious.
The immobility is eventually not a concern as the steering and pedal
adjusts mechanically to the apt spot according to the driver’s posture
and size. The company is not planning production now but this does not
de-motivate sports car lovers as they can expect an inspiring concept
car from Nissan shortly.

Pundits have portrayed the Brotherhood as
uncompromising zealots or beneficent providers of social services that
long-deprived Egyptians desperately need.But a translation released
Tuesday of a 1995 book by the movement's fifth official leader sheds
light on just how Egypt's Brotherhood views itself and its mission.
Jihad is the Way is the last of a five-volume work, "The Laws of Da'wa"
by Mustafa Mashhur, who headed the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt from
1996-2002.

They detail the Brotherhood's objectives of advancing
the global conquest of Islam and reestablishing the Islamic Caliphate,
the public and private duties of jihad and the struggle Muslims must
wage against Israel. Elsewhere, it exhorts
Muslims, "Know your status, and believe firmly that you are the masters
of the world, even if your enemies desire your degradation." The
movement differs from international terror groups like Al-Qaida only in
tactics, but not goals . "One should know that it is not necessary that
Muslims repel every attack or damage caused by the enemies of Allah
immediately, but only when ability and the circumstances are fit it."

Jihad
is the Way explicitly endorses the reinstatement of a worldwide Islamic
regime. "It should be known that jihad and preparation towards jihad
are not only for the purpose of fending off assaults and attacks of
Allah's enemies from Muslims, but are also for the purpose of realizing
the great task of establishing an Islamic state and strengthening the
religion and spreading it around the world."

Mashhur wrote, "The
problems of the Islamic world - such as in Palestine, Afghanistan,
Syria, Eritrea or the Philippines - are not issues of territories and
nations, but of faith and religion. They are the problems of Islam and
all Muslims, and their resolution cannot be negotiated and bargained by
recognizing the enemy's right to the Islamic land he stole, and
therefore there is no other option but jihad for Allah, and this is why
jihad is the way."

US have Freed Islamist Terrorist - Pollard
still in Jail!

An American jihadist, Mohammed Junaid Babar, who
set up the terrorist training camp where the leader of the 2005 London
suicide bombers learned how to manufacture explosives, has been quietly
released after serving only four and a half years of a possible 70-year
sentence. (This is another amazing exhibit of the US hypocrisy, if not
governmentally sponsored anti-Semitism!)

Armenian Power, commonly known as AP, has grown
from a street gang formed in the 1980s to an ambitious and
well-connected criminal organization that teamed up with
African-American gangs and the notorious Mexican mafia, the U.S.
attorney’s office said in a written statement.

Federal prosecutors said they rounded up 74 of 99 suspects Wednesday
in a major blow to an Armenian gang based in the Los Angeles area.

A pair of federal racketeering indictments, as well as various
California cases, named the alleged members and associates of Armenian
Power, a reputed mafia centered in Glendale, who are accused of taking
part in rackets ranging from bank and healthcare fraud and identity
theft to drug trafficking and kidnapping.

Armenian Power, commonly known as AP, has grown from a street gang
formed in the 1980s to an ambitious and well-connected criminal
organization that teamed up with African-American gangs and the
notorious Mexican mafia, the U.S. attorney’s office said in a written
statement.

“These groups engaged in various fraud schemes that clearly have had a
significant impact on financial institutions and their customers who
have lost millions of dollars and lost their sense of security through
identity theft and credit card fraud,” U.S. Attorney Andre Birotte said.

One of AP’s alleged scams involved the placement of hidden credit
card skimmers at 99 Cents Only Stores across Southern California. The
skimmers captured debit and credit card data from hundreds of
unsuspecting customers, which was used to create counterfeit cards.

Caira Ferguson, 21, of Nether Providence Township, Pennsylvania is
being charged with child neglect. Caira is accused of allegedly duct
taping her 2 year old toddler daughter to a chair. The photo which was
on Caira’s cell phone, shows her toddler bound and gagged along with
Caira standing beside her – posing for the picture. Police found further
evidence when they obtained a search warrant and found duct tape still
attached to the chair where Caira lives.

Oddly enough, police were first alerted to the picture when Caira
herself went into the police station to report that her identity had
been stolen. According to CNN, police
believe that she concocted the story in order pin the blame on someone
else and possibly cover up other crimes under the guise of stolen
identity.
Caira’s father, Ira Ferguson is denying the charges saying that his
daughter would never do something like this and claims that she hasn’t
confessed although police have claimed otherwise. The Grandmother who
was reportedly home at the time of the incident have subsequently placed
other children in her care in state custody.

This is the second incidence of this kind of abuse. Last fall, a
couple was charged
with doing the same thing to their toddler son leaving people to
speculate whether or not this was a copy-cat crime.

Maricopa Sheriff Joe Arpaio said Monday he is open to the possibility
of running for the seat of retiring Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) in 2012.

Arpaio, the conservative sheriff famous for his hard-line
anti-immigration stances, made the remarks in light of a poll released
Monday by Summit Consulting Group Inc., which is fundraising for
Arpaio’s reelection campaign for sheriff. The company’s Chad Willems is
Arpaio’s campaign manager.

Arpaio said the deciding factor is neither the money, which he said
he could raise, nor his ability to do the job. Rather, he said, it’s
whether he would be willing to leave his job as sheriff.

Arpaio has served as sheriff for five terms and is currently running
for a sixth. But, he said, that doesn’t mean he won’t run for the
Senate.

An
artist’s sketch of Russell DeFreitas from Brooklyn Federal Courthouse.
He was sentenced to life in prison yesterday.

NEW YORK—Russell DeFreitas, the convicted mastermind behind a plot to
blow up aviation fuel tanks and a pipeline at John F. Kennedy
International Airport was yesterday sentenced to life in prison.

Federal prosecutors in Brooklyn had alleged that the 67-year-old
Guyana-born former airport cargo worker, hoped to “cause major economic
loss in the United States” and sought financing for the plot from a
Trinidad militant group. He was arrested in June 2007 after a former
drug dealer-turned-informant infiltrated the scheme and recorded
conversations detailing the plan.

DeFreitas, a naturalized U.S. citizen, and Abdul Kadir, a former member
of Guyana’s Parliament, were convicted on multiple conspiracy charges
last August following a nine-week trial. Kadir was sentenced to life in
prison in December.

Abdel Nur, another Guyanese citizen, pleaded guilty shortly before trial
to providing support for the plot. Nur, who is being treated for lung
cancer, was sentenced to 15 years in prison in January.

A fourth man, Trinidadian Kareem Ibrahim, is expected to go to trial on
related charges at a later date.
During yesterday’s proceedings, DeFreitas said nothing in court and
showed no reaction when the penalty was imposed by Brooklyn Federal
Judge Dora Irizarry.

“The defendant was a mastermind …this was his baby, this was his idea,”
Irizarry said.
DeFreitas and his co-conspirators called the plot “Shining Light”
because they hoped the ensuing fireball and conflagrations would be
viewed like a beacon throughout the metro area.

Authorities said Defreitas told his confidantes that security was lax at
the airport and that he knew all the back roads and weak spots.

The plotters are said to have sought financial and logistical support
from terror leaders in the Caribbean and Iran.

DeFreitas, the court was told, appeared to be motivated by his hatred of
American foreign policy and his own perceived mistreatment as an
employee at the airport.

He also noted the airport attack would have devastating economic
consequences for the U.S, inflict massive casualties – and batter the
American psyche, which he thought harboured deep affection for former
President Kennedy and the Kennedy name.

“It will take out the whole entire area,” Defreitas told the informant.
“The whole of Kennedy will go up in smoke …A few people might escape,
but escape to where? The Jamaica Bay?”

“Russell Defreitas plotted to commit a terrorist attack that he hoped
would rival 9/11,” said Loretta Lynch, the U.S. Attorney in Brooklyn.
“But law enforcement detected and thwarted the plot, saving lives.”
Prosecutors alleged that DeFreitas approached a confidential, government
informant, a convicted drug dealer, to join the plot in 2006.

He allegedly told the informant and others that he had been planning an
attack at the airport since he worked there in the 1990s, “before
terrorism started in this country,” prosecutors said.

Mr. Defreitas allegedly traveled to Guyana and Trinidad in 2006 and in
2007, seeking financing, technical expertise and personnel for the
attack.

However, his lawyers argued that he never took “concrete” steps to carry
out the plot.

Prior to his arrest, Mr. DeFreitas had been living on-and-off for five
months in an apartment in Brooklyn provided to him by the informant and
may have been receiving food stamps.

SCLC TODAY

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