With enough time and perspective we come to know this as a moment in which I learned a great lesson. In the moment, however, we’re all reaction. Shock, helplessness, anxiety can leave us raw. Sometimes it feels better in the short-term to mask it with anger, blaming, arrogance, withholding, but the more we avoid dealing with the pain the harder it is to get on with life.

2. Thinking engaged.

Instead of attacking yourself or someone else, a helpful conversation begins. “Wait, this pain is familiar. What does it mean? Breathe. You’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out.” Life Coaching is all about this stage starting faster, penetrating deeper, and creating powerful self-empathy.

3. Some movement towards relief.

Okay. I get it; it’s about me. After practicing for longer than we think it “should” take, we learn that every door we walk into is an opportunity to clarify who we are and what we want. We’re growing – as in becoming more conscious; growing up, evolving; able to think what we’ve never thought, feel what we’ve never felt, know that we know something we’ve not known before. It still hurts, but after we’ve been coached through this phase a few (dozen) times, we almost start looking forward to then next door.

4. Looking back and moving forward.

Remember how challenging learning to drive was for you? Now you can weave through city traffic while talking on your cell phone (although I don’t recommend it), engaged with the person in the passenger’s seat, or singing along with your MP3 player that’s hard-wired into your sound system. We grow from unconscious incompetence through the “owwwww” of conscious incompetence, to conscious competence.

5. Sleeping like a baby.

Glad to be alive, with an identity that’s stronger and more aligned with what’s important to you, you sleep. Charge those batteries. Enjoy the pieces coming together at a deep level. Tomorrow or the next day there will be another door; I hope.