pirate copy

I was listening to a very interesting slot on ABC radio on the way to pick up Ben from childcare, all about Pirates.

Apparently it takes a lot of money to set up a pirate operation – about $US250,000, says an expert. The pirates need speed boats, crew, weapons, negotiators and catering. Yes, catering. “Pirates need everything a cruise ship would, short of the entertainment,” he said. Which I thought was quite funny. The pirate talk was still going on when Ben got into the car. He latched onto the word ‘pirate’ immediately. ‘Yay! Pirates!” he said.

That very morning, discussing a fifth birthday still six months away, the subject of party themes came up. Ben was born the day before Halloween, and while a Ghosts ‘n’ Ghouls theme may be appropriate, the novelty could wear off. So could my tolerance for the ‘n’ bit. So what other themes do little boys like? What about pirates, I had suggested.

“Yay! Pirates!”

This morning it was goer, but after the broadcast I'm wondering: is piracy all that fitting in this day and age, considering lives have so recently been lost? My knee-jerk reaction would be to say of course, this world is becoming unimaginative and oversanitised by PC twaddle-talk like that. But my knees don’t jerk all that quickly any more, and although I still wish the only PC that maintained a beat was Juliet Bravo, I can’t help thinking that maybe I have a point. With my two favourite seafaring men - Johnny Depp and Bill Nighy - nowhere to be seen, and with the knowledge that there’s less swashbuckling and more aggressive ballistics involved in the modern-day mutiny, could pretending to plunder vessels be of questionable taste?

After all, you don’t see many hijack themes, do you? It’s all Space, Racing Cars, Explorers and Sports - a lot of action and very little horror. Apocalypse Now, The Korean War... not so much. We don’t send out invitations that say Come Dressed As The Krays or Joan Of Arc Party – Best Dressed Gets To Light The Candles; we are usually quick to recognise what's suitable for children and what could possibly be either of bad influence to them or be insulted by them with disco lights and pink cake. So perhaps we should take on board the touchy topical headlines and come to the conclusion that currently X marks a bit of a sore spot.

I know, I know. Such a killjoy. And although none of my best friends are pirates, there is something terribly romantic about big creaking wooden boats, sea dogs and the half-arsed wink of ‘ooh-aahhhrrrr’; and frankly if all pirates looked like Jack Sparra I’d superglue gold bullion all over my body (that’s a lot of gold), hitch myself to the front of the ship like a Saucy Nancy shouting ‘Ransome, handsome?’...

But maybe we should consider current sensitivities. Maybe we should think about burying our most treasured party theme. Not forever, mind, just till the storm blows over.

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