Rep. Walter Jones Is Sick Of Borrowing War Money From ‘Uncle Chang’

North Carolina Rep. Walter Jones, Ron Paul’s fellow anti-everything old crank who’s occasionally right, is sick of the Afghanistan war, like the vast majority of Americans and people everywhere. But did you even know, like Walter Jones knows, that some guy in China named “Uncle Chang” is paying for the whole thing?

In a question to the Commander of U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan, General John Allen, Jones said, “What is the event that the administration and General Allen, you sir, are going to be candid with the United States Congress and more important than the Congress, the American people as we spend $10 billion a month that we can’t pay for, the Chinese, Uncle Chang, is lending us the money we are spending in Afghanistan.”

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

The Senor Chang from Community is floating the government? I think they should let him join the study group.

http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

Chang we can believe in.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

YERROW GULL RIBER!

http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

How dumb is your war if you can't even get Pierce to invest in it?

AlterNewt

Bristol is waiting…

http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

Is she holding her breath?

Not_So_Much

No, ankles.

DaRooster

No, Cankles.

(fixed)

chascates

She just hasn't developed that victim persona her mom perfected yet, has she?

Redhead

I nominate "Uncle Chang's War Chest" as the new name for Hwy 40 running through NC.

Lascauxcaveman

Ching Chong Chang Chinaman Highway.

That wouldn't be considered "crude or racially insensitive," would it? (In Virginia)

Preferred Customer

No, it would not, in Virginia.

http://www.counterpunch.org 4TheTurnstiles

I deny Uncle Chang my *essence.*

precious bodily fluids &c

nounverb911

"Neocon Libel!"

http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

Uncle Ho libel.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

Not riber, RIBER!

prommie

No tickee, no laundry. Where's Hop Sing?

nounverb911

He opened a casino on the Ponderosa?

Barb

Chinese President Hu Jintao visited the White House. Fox News said it was a gathering of the world's most powerful communist — and the president of China

Negropolis

Barb'll be hear all night, guys! Try the veal!

Arken

Yeah, but come on, Jim, be fair. John McCain would have bombed and/or invaded everywhere by now.

Guppy

So many countries to crash into, so few planes to crash.

bnerd85

This is another incidence of why libertarians piss me off. I agree war is horrible and we should bring our troops home and spend our money on things that don't involve bombing random brown people with the name Ahmed and all that jazz, but is the Red/Yellow Baiting shit necessary to get that point across? Ugh.

“What is the event that the Republicans running for office and Representative Jones, you sir, are going to be candid with the United States Congress and more important than the Congress, the American people as we spend untold billions a month that we can’t pay for, the American people, Main Street, is losing the money we are spending to subsidize tax cuts and bailouts for Wall Street.”
Well, I can dream…

Not_So_Much

Walnuts is just waiting for someone to shriek "IT'S GO TIME!!"

Well, and for someone else to tie the Rambo bandana on his head. He can't reach.

I heard that Monopoly changed the name of Rich Uncle Pennybags to Uncle Chang. Rep Jones is just using terms the kids understand because he's hip like that.

SorosBot

Monopoly? That game's not on the PS3 – is it and XBox 360 exclusive?

Ruhe

Superficially it looks like Uncle Change is paying for the war. The reality is that our gullible Chinese Uncle is simply "investing" in more worthless real estate, this time in the form of undeveloped cliff faces in Central Afghanistan. That guy is a rube.

BaldarTFlagass

Is Uncle Chang one of them "funny" uncles?

ph7

Yes. He'll put his eggroll in your ducksauce if you're not careful.

Baconzgood

I don't know about Rep. Walter Jones but I'm guessing he voted for the war, and doesn't want to end the Bush tax cuts for the rich….

chascates

It's what the Founders would have wanted.

http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

I always thought Steely Dan* was a guy. I'd go around saying "I really dig his music!"
So I can understand your blunder, Rep. Jones.

* Imagine when I found out where he the band got his their name, then.

Lascauxcaveman

And that Pearl Jam chick, she totally rocked.

Bonzos_Bed_Time

But why would the Floyds name their only son Pink?

doloras

The band is just fantastic, that is truly what I think. Oh, and by the way, which one's Pink?

MosesInvests

Collect call for Mrs. Floyd from Mr. Floyd-will you accept the charges from the United States?

Baconzgood

How is this taking away women's reproductive rights?

BaldarTFlagass

It's really a terrible thing when you have to "rob Chang to bomb Ahmed."

Veritas78

This might have legs.

You haven't by any chance copyrighted it, have you? Not that you need to! Sorry I brought it up. I'll just scurry off now…

chascates

Well, I'm sick of kids who were seven or eight years old when we first went into Afghanistan dying there now and for an untold timeline.

BaldarTFlagass

Old General Allen really has the "Buck Turgidson" look going on there.

neiltheblaze

It's the casualness of their racism that truly sets Republicans apart.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™

He must have watched Mike Daisey's theatrical performance. Soooo compelling…

Troglodeity

Worst "Asians in the Library" cover ever.

http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

I think General Allen's fingers were moving for his KA-BAR.

OT Eds, such mass postings. Ya know some of us have jerbs.

nounverb911

Needs more MSG.

Lionel[redacted]Esq

Come on, everyone knows you don't borrow from Uncle Chang. The guy is so annoying, constantly dropping hints about not paying at dinner. "Sheesh, you have a nice weapons system here…. how can you afford that and not pay me back?" kind of crap.

No, if you are going to borrow money, get if from Uncle Chong. He is like totally cool and will still smoke you out even if you owe him.

nounverb911

How about "Owner of America"?

Tundra Grifter

Don't tell Rep. Jones the biggest "buyer" of US Treasury debt is the Federal government.

His head would explode like a stepped on wonton.

Bonzos_Bed_Time

Audit the Fed!

Negropolis

Pork dumpling libel!

Allmighty_Manos

Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh?

Lucidamente1

I'll remember that next time I order General Tso's chicken.

OneDollarJuana

I bet Uncle Chang thinks Uncle Cracker is a racist bigot.

BaldarTFlagass

Wang Chang. Now that was a pretty cool band. I really dug their soundtrack on that "To Live and Die in L.A." film.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

Ah yes, Dance Harrs Days, lemembel them werr!

BarackMyWorld

What percent of the national debt is actually held by China again?

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

That's "P.F. Chang" to you, Dr. Jones…

http://grandpaboy.blogspot.com/ seppdecker

Is that any relation to Walter's Uncle Cracker?

FNMA

Great thing about borrowing money from Uncle Chang is you call and no matter how much you're borrowing, he always says, "Ten minutes."

Veritas78

But then an hour later you need more.

OneYieldRegular

The only surprising thing about this is that he didn't invoke Fu Manchu.

Bonzos_Bed_Time

Show us Uncle Chang's long-form birth certificate!!1!

Mahousu

Yeah, every time we have to borrow from Uncle Chang, he goes off on this long lecture about how when he was a child, he worked two jobs, just so he could pay for all of his wars himself. Bo-ring!

I liked it better when we were borrowing from Lisa Chan. Not only was she nicer to look at, she never lectured.

CountryClubJihadi

No Tickey, No Laundry!

elgin_pelican

Be honest folks. Isn't this better than blaming Jew Bankers, like we did back in the day?

Veritas78

How was spring break? Cuz you totally missed Goldman Sachs week. And yes, they did take over the world, the end.

http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

General Tsao provides the MREs.

http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

This is good news for Egg Shen.

Studebaker Hawk

In fairness, Chang and Eng (famous 19th century conjoined twins) did live their adult lives in North Carolina, so Chang may literally be his uncle.

Or maybe he's just an ignoramus. See also: Jones, Walter; "Freedom Fries."

horsedreamer_1

They also owned slaves.

teebob2000

The very first 2 words of this story told me all I needed to know.

owhatever

None of my best friends are Walter Jones.

Mr Pre-Press

Uncle Chang, poontang…aaaah, what the hell!

maxxy_w

Shouldn't that be Uncle Chiang, as in Chiang Kai-shek? I think the old guy's forgotten that it's not still 1938.