The 10 Worst Dinner Party Fouls

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From what to do with that cocktail toothpick, how to handle a boring conversation (or lack thereof), to what party foods to avoid, if you read — and remember — these 11 guidelines, you might find that there is no reason to stress about cocktail parties at all.

There is such a thing as having too much fun at a cocktail party. While you might like to sample every kind of liquor that is available, you'll likely regret having that brilliant idea to mix everything together with something sweet and fruity the next morning. We're not saying you can't knock back shots on a Tuesday night, either — it’s just wise to alternate each glass of your chosen beverage with a glass of ice water. You’ll thank us the next day.

Don’t be the dunce in the corner, sticking to one conversation with one specific person (even if you are smitten) and giving the evil eye to all others looking your way. You surely must have something to talk about with your fellow guests. You aren’t that boring, are you?

Don’t let Convo-Killer Kelly and Boring Bob get the better of you. When the periods of silence get to be five seconds long, reach into your bag of tricks and pull out a conversation starter to get things going. And when that doesn't work, feign feeling ill and run to the nearest restroom to escape.

Don’t even think about taking a couple of those swoon-worthy arancini or pigs in a blanket, wrapped up in a napkin and stashed in your purse, home with you. Just imagine if they had detectors that guests had to unknowingly walk through on the way out that could detect if someone tried to escape with a couple of appetizers (or, gasp, that beautiful Champagne flute) in their bag… You’d be blacklisted for life.

When you’re at a cocktail party, the rule is to serve one-bite snacks that don’t leave the fingers sticky or messy and won’t splatter down the front of your new $1,000 suit or dress. So, don’t nibble on that cocktail frank or devil on horseback like a rabbit, inspecting it in-between bites — what, do you not trust that your host won’t stick a foreign object into those two appetizers you chose?

What do you do when you have a glass of bourbon in one hand and a small plate of cheese and charcuterie in the other and your old boss comes up to shake your hand? Drop the plate or glass? Shake, err… elbows? That’s where the technique of balancing your plate on your ring and middle fingers while your thumb and forefinger hold the glass comes in handy. Kid you not.

Yes, having pit-spitting contests and challenging your buddies to a toothpick-sparring contest is fun. I mean, what else can you do with olive pits and cocktail skewers? You can’t eat them, and you can’t (or wouldn’t want to) stuff them down the front of your shirt. But who ever thought about holding onto them until you could a) find a trash can or b) deposit them on a waiter’s tray, or c) hold onto them, wrapped in a napkin, until the party was over? Hmm...

They taste good, but when you're trying to impress that guy or girl across the room, do you really want to have pasta sauce dribbled down your front?

Any right-minded, considerate host or hostess knows not to serve soup dumplings or sauce-slathered burgers that require two hands (and more than one bite). But, if your host or hostess is that cruel, it's up to you to avoid those sorts of foods. Wearing white? That beet

bruschetta might not be the best thing to enjoy (unless you want to walk away with red dots down your front). The rule applies to cocktails, too. If you’re wearing something that stains easily, opt for something clear or at least yellow to avoid any costume crises. Oh, and always have a napkin in your hand. It will surely come in hand at some point during the night.

(Credit: Flickr/yogma)

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.