Around 1:52 Tai introduces who she is and who she works with as a life and business growth strategist.

Around 4:20 Tai talks about her history with traditional black Baptist churches and how she felt something wasn’t quite fitting right. She started questioning things about her faith and spirituality and stopped feeling ashamed about having those questions and began exploring spirituality outside of the black Christian experience.

Around 5:50 Tai talks about uprisings and outrage as symptoms and hunger for real spiritual connection. She addresses the difference between following rules and actually practicing your spirituality to deepen your relationship.

Around 7:20 Talk talks about the fall out with youth and church.

Around 8:14 Tai talks about how mental health hasn’t been adequately addressed or talked about in the church.

Around 11:20 Tai began talking about various relationships people can experience in churches when it comes to dealing with mental health and how there’s an opportunity for churches to educate their community. She talks about how leaders could step up in this area of educating.

Around 14:50 We reference the Black Panther movie and the concept of a council of Elders.

Around 17:23 I ask Tai if there is such a thing as “spiritual appropriation” and she shares her views on this controversial topic.

Around 19:00 Tai talks about how business people and churches capitalize religion.

Around 23:40 Tai talks about spiritually being a journey and an opportunity to address issues such as trauma. She ask talks about how spirituality connects all humanity.

Around 27:00 Tai addresses how to talk about mental health in spiritual communities.

Around 30:40 Tai shares how you can connect with other trailblazers in creating community, and transforming lives. She also shares her new “spin-off” site, Black Girl Mystic for black women who want to expand beyond the black Christian perspective.

About Tai:
As a life and business coach for entrepreneurs in the transformation biz, Tai specializes in helping her clients create profitable business models and revenue streams so they can avoid burning out and actually enjoy being their own boss.

Before stepping into the world of entrepreneurship, Tai racked up over 20 years of experience in learning and development including time at two Fortune500 companies. She has a B.S and M.S. in education, and she keeps a copy of the six-figure offer letter from Canon that she turned down because she wanted to start her own business. She started my business in 2007 while working full-time and officially stepped away from the paycheck in August of 2012. In January 2013 Tai was named to the Small Business Influencer’s Top 100 List. She hosted a podcast (6,000 monthly downloads) wrote a book, and has spoken on stages across the country.

In 2015, Tai decided to join Leadpages (an award wining local start-up). There she designed the training program for their technical support team in how to use their platform and the fundamentals of online marketing. In 2017, she decided to relaunch my business; helping women of all shades and from all neighborhoods build bankable businesses around their message. Learn more about Tai at http://taigoodwin.com

Around 6:40: Mineela shares why she decided to pursue studies in Divinity and Therapy

She shares a bit about Sigmund Freud’s views on spirituality being a delusion. (If you want to read more about Freud on religion you could start with Obsessive Actions and Religious Practices (1907) )

Around 12:44: Mineela talks about the differences between faith, religion, and spirituality.

Around 16:13: We give a shout out to George Michael!

Around 20:19: We talk about the opposite viewpoints on religion either being a very positive and healing experiences with spiritual communities or a painful and traumatic experience. I talk about Karl Marx and his views on organized religion being “the opium of the masses” (it is a paraphrase) and we talk about the hero’s journey to see that view differently. She mentions Donald Miller as a reference and talks about the idea of organized religious communities representing the needed guide on that hero’s journey. I later mention Joseph Campbell who did extensive work on the hero’s journey, I specifically reference his book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

Around 41:57 Mineela ties trauma to religious text references, as she breaks down intergenerational trauma. She references the research on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) (you can find TED Talks on this research) and we talk about epigenetics and how they make you more vulnerable to things like addictions. And then we discuss how to end this legacy of trauma.

About Mineela:As a Marriage & Family Therapist, Mineela Chand embodies empathy as she utilizes sophisticated, goal-oriented techniques that produce relief and results.

Possessing a manner that is both compassionate and charismatic, Mineela forms deep and emotional connections with clients as they explore the struggles in their lives. Whether sitting on the floor coloring with children or crying at clients’ stories of pain, she accesses a unique, authentic quality of caring that allows her and her clients to comfortably and effectively resolve the hold-ups and traumas keeping them from their full potential.

With over sixteen years of experience as a Marriage & Family Therapist, including four years working with children, and several more years of schooling and training, Mineela has developed a comprehensive practice that effectively aids individuals, couples and families suffering from depression, anxiety, trauma, and ADHD.

Mineela loves her work. She takes pleasure watching people progress, happily saying “goodbye” to clients as they achieve their goals.

If you didn’t already know, May is Mental Health Awareness month in the U.S.A. Depending on the organization, you’ll find different themes. #CureStigma for NAMI, #4Mind4Body for Mental Health America etc. So far, this year has led me to looking for lost keys, and finding them once I’ve stopped looking. I’ve found myself religiously pursuing the wisdom of spiritual texts and practices. I have been implementing old practices on a new level, and leaning new ways to look at the wisdom and teachings of my elders that I had previously either ignored, or wasn’t yet at a level of awareness where I could understand their guidance, even on a basic level. Feelings and experiences I didn’t have words for, now have new meaning. And as I learn and struggle with growing through changes I have moments of anxiousness and of deep sadness, while also experiencing deep gratitude and joy. Honestly, it’s been a ride.

So, it made the most sense for me to introduce the theme of spirituality as it related to mental health (or perhaps mental health and how it is connected to spiritual being-ness).

I’ve invited some special guests to talk about the relationship between Mental Health, Religion, and Spirituality. I write it as three items, but I believe both mental health and religion are the human touch we bring to spirituality. I can’t wait to share the interviews with you this month!

But before I present their insights and perspectives, I wanted to share with you some of my own even as I’m still learning them…it’s a journey after all.

The first time I started doing inner-child work, I began to uncover what I believe to be the start of my anxiety and depression. Even though we didn’t have much in our single parent home, we seemed to have just enough and I remember having a happy childhood. I spent most of my time with my grandmom and her friends, I loved sitting around them and being all up in grown-folks business. Growing up, I was the only girl my age on my street, so all of my closest and dearest friends were boys. I was for all intents an purposes not a “girly girl” and was frequently called a “tomboy”. That didn’t bother me, and I didn’t take it as an insult. I was shy and quiet upon initial meeting but once I warmed up I was an active, wide eyed, “chatty Kathy” around people I considered friends and family. Knowing what an introvert was and claiming that as a label simply wasn’t a thing. I was an old soul with a close knit neighborhood, and happy go lucky.

But then something changed.

My mom would meet a man who would become her husband, uproot us from my grandmother’s house, the house and neighborhood of my happiest memories with my childhood friends and neighbors who watched out for each other and took turns keeping an eye on us kids. She also unintentionally separated me from the base of my identity, and the foundation of my wisdom and knowledge when I moved away from the one person who understood me the most, my grandmom. I didn’t feel right about the man she would marry but I didn’t understand why, my instincts simply told me he was not a nice man and that my mom was not the mom I loved when she was with him.

It was then that I began to let go of the girl who happily played freeze tag and hide and go seek with the guys, and replaced myself with a false self to survive the dysfunction of my home and the environment around me. Depression for me formed out of suppressed anger, fear, disappointment, hatred, and powerlessness turned inward with no outlet.

I eventually made friends with a few girls, one in particular came from a very religious family and while I knew prayer, I learned a new level of prayer from her family. She introduced me to ballet and I found my outlet in dance and peace in talking to this old invisible guy that watched over me from the sky. By the time I was 10, I would have vivid dreams I could recall and write stories about, including dreams about the end of the world. I began writing stories about my dreams and had an invisible friend to share them with.

Eventually, my mom would divorce the mean man and start taking us to church consistently. I again would meet a man who gave me creepy feelings only this time he would be the pastor. At this point I was being taught not to trust myself and my instincts because I was just a kid…what did I know? That pastor, who was a married man, ended up in scandal being found out to have been sleeping with multiple women in the church. The second husband of my mother, a minister of the Christian church, walked out one morning, happily smiling and laughing only for us to come home from school and see half of the house empty and having to call our mom at work to report a robbery that didn’t happen because the step father was gone too. So as I prayed to the invisible old man, I was also being constantly lied to, and abandoned by men of power and influence. And the women around me were always taking it, fighting each other for scraps, and suffering in silence convincing themselves that their husbands and husbands (the not really married kind) were heaven sent.

I sponged it all.

I eventually forgot about the peace I felt in that solitude with my invisible friend/old man of the sky, and I stopped dancing from the joy pouring out of my spirit. I thought about death a lot, and non-existence, I often wondered why did a mistake like me have to be so much a burden. I built my life trying to be useful, perfect, not needing much from others so as not to get on people’s bad side, and I wondered why I still couldn’t fix things. Why I wasn’t alright. I wondered if I was to blame for everything that went wrong. I went to Catholic school and learned that if I killed myself I would go to Hell; a fiery red flaming furnace of everlasting pain and agony, and I didn’t need any more of that. Great, now I had to stay in a world that I hated and that hated me.

By the time I got to high school I still struggled with depression, but it became a part of my life by then. I continued to have panic attacks when presented with any type of confrontation and I was a geek, without the honor roll to go with it. Youtube shows like Awkward Black Girl didn’t exist back then to help me feel like I belonged…somewhere…anywhere! My only saving grace (survival mode mask) was that I could dance and sing. I wrote short stories that classmates took a liking to, and I wrote poetry for friends to give to their crushes. Luckily, perhaps by Divine intervention, my guidance counselor took an interest in me and even though her goal was to get me to college, she became my confidant who I talked to about my depression.

I also had the mentorship of a male deacon (who sadly passed away due to lung cancer) and new church and pastor, both of whom I adored and saw as father figures. Both of whom never truly addressed mental health issues when we spoke, and likely did not recognize my mental health symptoms in how I spoke and questioned everything. Not only me, but other people in the church would be written off as “that crazy uncle” and such. Later, I would be able to recognize that people living with conditions such a schizoaffective disorders and bipolar disorders were just called crazy relatives. The rest of the members, mostly women would simply shoot my natural curiosity about the world and religion down. They were women of faith and no question, and I believe they were good intentioned and well meaning, but their rejection left scars. When I questioned things, when I spoke about my thoughts about death, when I mentioned my dreams I was written off as being disobedient, told I needed to pray more, and constantly reminded about “the enemy” aka the devil that was clearly attacking me. Of course “love” wasn’t just chastisement, but I’m sharing this aspect of how I perceived things at that time.

My depression grew deeper and deeper and I kept feeling worse and worse about myself believing that something was inherently wrong with me because even though I prayed, and did what people told me to do, nothing changed and I wondered if I was always being punished for everything that shaped who I had become. Church and religion gave me friends, and community, which helped ease the pain of my depression, but at the same time, I had no real relationship with this Jesus guy and the invisible old man of the sky he called Father. And quite frankly, I couldn’t relate to what was presented to me of either depiction.

Even though my dreams were so revealing that if I had known about psychoanalysis I would have learned so much about myself and my history, I stopped listening to my dreams, I stopped listening to the small voice inside my head that spoke from my gut. I found that could not hear from the G-d that my dreams introduced me to amongst the noise of dominating men leaders and liars and the women who made excuses for them. I couldn’t feel this Divine Presence that gave me Breath when I couldn’t see my way through my disappointment for the few good men who didn’t know how to adequately address mental illness and the women who though they probably meant well, encouraged me to just pray about it. I could not find myself, when everything about the me that kept bubbling up despite my trying to suppress myself simply did not fit nice and neat into the orthodoxy of “normal”. Even though the last Christian church I went to was a pretty good experience (heck, they even had a husband and wife team as co-pastors), the damage was done and I was tired of pretending to be a title or affiliation just to fit in, to survive, to avoid conflict and confrontation. I began letting go of religion and eventually left the church.

My story about my relationship with contemporary Christian religion is not unique. Heck, even my fall out with religious communities and the belief systems they present as truth is not unique. People have often wondered why G-d has forsaken them in times of atrocities such as genocides, marital abuse, rape and so on. The very communities that give us peace in times of storm, also give us the most aggravation, frustration, and leave us with a deep spiritual hunger. Nevertheless, my story hasn’t ended with bitterness and anger though.

I eventually found my way into mental health recovery, and after some serious hard work I released, (and make it an ongoing and conscious practice of releasing) toxic relationships including the one I had with toxic masculinity. Just as I began to question why I even held onto to a belief in the divine, I had a spiritual experience that I’ll have to tell you about some other time (though words would not be sufficient) and was compelled into purpose by the Higher Power of my understanding. Based on that spiritual awakening I was moved to again seek fellowship with people who I could practice my foundational contemplative practices with, (now that I knew what they were called).

After an invite that came at the right time, and an openness to inner wisdom leadings, I began attending Meetings for worship with Friends, and I eventually came across an organization called The Mystic Soul Project where they caught my interest with a focus on people of color centeredness and pretty much had my full attention with the words “intersections of contemplation/mysticism, action/activism & healing”. I volunteered to organize a local inclusive community fellowship where we could explore those intersections together. (Hit me up if interested to learn more!)

I wanted to do a quick list to share the love about five bloggers who are doing amazing work as advocates and activists destigmatizing mental health issues. What makes them all the more special to me, is that they show us that we don’t have to be mental health professionals to make waves for the causes we care about. These women are exposing resources to communities who would otherwise not know these tools existed AND were available to them. They’re talking about topics that have been long seen as taboo and quite frankly, I wanted to share about them because they are just down right courageous and pretty awesome too!

Don’t Die Afraid

I came across Ashley awhile back via Twitter and have been following her brand for some time. She is a resiliency activator, motivational speaker, and mental health aficionado to name a few aspects of her awesomeness. What really caught my attention was the campaign she did in partnership with NAMI, Let’s Get Uncomfortable: Mental Health Makeover When I read,“In communities of color, we frequently ignore our mental health because discussing it is seen as a weakness. It’s taboo. We act as if mental illness doesn’t plague our community.” I knew I found a great place hangout online. Despite the recent efforts in mainstream media to get people taking about mental health conditions, what she wrote is still very true and something to be worked on. So, be sure to check out her blog and keep the conversation going! http://www.dontdieafraid.com

The Truth Confidant

Vernetta has been sharing ways in which stressed individuals could claim their peace using journaling. As an avid journaler I absolutely LOVE this! While not a therapist, she has been studying mental health for years, is a trained crisis counselor, and shares her experience as someone who lived with depression for 20 years. I’ve known Vernetta for several years and she is one of very few people I will literally call when I feel myself going into downward spiral mode. Her blog and podcast are refreshing and honest, kind of like that Aunt that comes around after all her amazing world travels and when no-one else will stick up for you she says the things you’re thinking but didn’t have the guts to say out loud. Get your dose of truth, (it will set you free)! http://vernettarfreeney.com

Black Girl’s Guide To Calm

Jaime is someone I’d consider a “lived experience” coach and blogger. After coming to a breaking point in her own life around the time she had her daughter, she realized she really needed to get laser focused on self-care. She began meditating and took up a yoga practice so that she could become fully present to herself, her marriage, and motherhood. She shares all kinds of goodies to help you well….get back to calm after you’ve experienced far too many years of stress, overwhelm, disappointment and misery. Read more about her story here: http://www.blackgirlsguidetocalm.com/my-story/

Spectrum

I had the honor of being able to connect with Mia via video chat a few years back and thanks to social media we have been keeping up with each other since that time. Be sure to check out the hashtag #TuesdayTea Besides being a super talented artist, Mia advocates for holistic approaches to mental health and wellness, particularly for creatives, entrepreneurs, and those in marginalized communities. On her blog you will find inspiration, tips for self-care and art that heals the broken. http://www.mianika.com

Depressed While Black

When I first started blogging specifically about mental health, I was curious to know if there were other Black women mental health advocates that actually came up in a legit search. Imade’s blog was one of the first platforms I came across. What I love about her writing is that she presses upon the importance about knowing that the road of recovery and healing is an ongoing journey. She talks about her own ups and down and struggles with anxiety and depression even as she is a sought after thought-leader. She also uncovers research that talks about the lack of diversity in the mental health field and opens the floor to discuss solutions with other African American women. Check her out here: http://www.depressedwhileblack.com/#blog

Tag, you’re it!

Do you have some mental health bloggers that you absolutely love? I’m always on the lookout for great content to read and share. Drop a line and let us know who you <3 !

Until Next Time…Peace, Love, and Wellness!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

Before I started my business, I took a small business course at my local community college. At that time, I hadn’t found all the online business “gurus” and only knew about SBDC and local NJ entrepreneurship resources because of my community involvement. This was helpful because I got to understand business foundations and see the value in learning more than just “5 steps to growing your email list”. At that time, I also didn’t have any intention to start an online business *gasp*. I was going to start a family owned cafe and bakery. I had a great idea for one that I had done research on and saw that there was no-one else in the area with this particular concept. The resources I had located told me to try a business course 1st to see how viable the idea was including, working at a job that would feel similar to the business you want to start…long story short, my lack of resources and my impatience and frustration working in hospitality let me know that the only way I’d own a cafe would be if I was simply the money person.

But let me backtrack. While in the course, the instructor asked us to discuss things like health policies. We all chuckled when those who had already ran businesses, (some brick and mortar) answered “don’t get sick”. I didn’t realize then how much that was no laughing matter. But even more importantly, I didn’t realize what that type of answer would reveal about the culture of many businesses – from micro businesses like virtual assistance and online business management , to corporations including the incorporated nonprofit.

Our culture has an unspoken rule that illness is taboo.

Even articles that I read about wellness programs are essentially saying ‘hurry up and be well so you can be a productive, highly engaged workhorse…err we mean workforce for our money making machine’. Ok I’m over exaggerating, but I’m not that far off. Because after being around and listening to the narratives of people who are chronically ill, who have had doctors that were so inclined to be the expert that they stop listening to their plea for care when they’ve told doctors that despite a clean bill of healthy “something isn’t right here”. Or I’ve listened to those who have disabilities, some seen, others unseen, (like people with heart conditions) and I’ve heard how people treat them because they aren’t the right kind of sick. I’ve learned that mainstream doesn’t have a contingency plan for those who aren’t deemed contributors even when they really are…just not at the moment, or not in a way that fits contemporary expectations.

And yes, this…rejection of your…being messes with your mind. It’s a close encounter with trauma. It’s traumatic to be you and be hated for no other reason than being yourself. And trauma was one of the causes for mental health disorder that came up in the research for my book on mental health and entrepreneurship over and over again. So, advocates like myself combat the trauma of being ostracized while also at the same time proactively encouraging and extending resources for healing.

It denies our basic humanity and encourages mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. But really it encourages a culture that shames, stigmatizes and traumatizes our human experience. And quite frankly, we can do better than this.

Until Next Time…Peace, Love, and Wellness!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.