dear M., here's it. i did not write this ha. i just got this in our tredfor handouts. hope it helps. goodluck :)

Getting dumped - it happens to the best of us and nothing feels worse. Losing love is hard enough but add rejection to the mix and it can be devastating. When you've been dumped it feels like your world is closing in to smother you and you wonder if you will ever feel happy again.

When you are in the middle of it, caught in those end days of a once blossoming relationship, it can feel like the pain & confusion will never end.

How to Deal with Being Dumped

First things first, accept that this relationship is over. Mourn your loss and commit to moving on. After you have done that if you really feel you want to know why he broke things off take a deep breath, brace yourself for things you will not want to hear, and ask him to be brutally honest. Ask him to tell you why he ended the relationship and tell him that you don't want him to spare your feelings.

Chances are that he does have reasons for breaking things off but that he thinks he is being kinder by keeping them to himself. If you really want to know you have to tell him that he is hurting you more by keeping you in the dark than he ever would be by telling you the truth. Know this, you will not like what he says. It will hurt and you will probably not feel better...

Most people want to know why a relationship failed so that they can try to fix those things … If he wanted to keep the relationship and fix the problems he would have told you so, he would have come to you with his concerns and you would have worked on them together. Obviously he did not want this, he wanted out. You need to accept that.

If you want to know why he ended things in order to get closure, great, but if you want to know so you can change and convince him to give you another chance, don't bother. You won't be happy in a relationship if you can't be you. Let him go and spend your energy finding somebody who wants to be with the real you.

I Was Dumped, Does that Make Me a Loser?

Answer: No, you are not a loser. We tend to internalize a break up, blaming ourselves and wondering how we could have been different. This is not healthy (although it is normal). In reality, break ups usually happen for more than one reason and those reasons are complex and intertwined.

Break ups certainly never happen over one thing that you did or one character trait that you exhibit. Although a single act or trait may be the immediate cause of a break up - for instance, you are caught in a lie - the one thing is never the only thing. Usually other things have also happened, things have been building up or falling apart for a while ...

When you are dealing with a break up don't make yourself feel worse by looking for faults. Let go of the need to find blame and accept that this chapter of your romantic life is over and you need to think of the future. Thinking about how you could save the relationship is a waste of time and energy because the relationship is already over.

Instead, think about the future. Once you have let go of the relationship you will be in a much better place and will be more able to judge if your personality or behavior patterns should change. Don't torture yourself with self improvement right now, you need to be healing your heart.

The good news is "yes" one day you will feel happy again, you will love again and the loss will become nothing more than a life experience.