All marriages hit a rut and go through rough times. Committing to the marriage and doing the work to repair the damage is what makes these work long term.

Even though your husband will not go, you should go to a pro-marriage marriage counselor. A good one will help you with your communication skills. When you change, his response to you will also change.

The one thing I learned from my failed marriage is that you can't expect another person to fulfill you. You need to work on yourself first and make sure you are whole. When you take that pressure off the other person then you both can relax. I hope to bring that into my next marriage if I'm blessed enough to have the opportunity again.

Yes, love is blind...we actually lie to ourselves, when that little voice inside warns us to run...
but the bottom line of this is, love doesn't come with a manual....and most parents don't discuss these facts with their children....

so when we meet someone, b/c we're told love is storybook, we dismiss the fact that we should be looking for someone compatible. Someone who is mentally compatible, who has goals, who values marriage, perhaps enjoys the same things you enjoy....i.e., camping, fishing, nature, hiking, horses, and the beach. someone who basically feels pretty much the same as you do, about issues, morals, values, etc. If you find that your pretty much aligned in those respects, well that adds so much fun in the relationship. And you have to play together, meaning, go seek adventures together, make new memories...together. Your spouse should be a good friend...that you trust with your heart.

If you give up things you enjoy for love, then your trading your identity which will eventually lead to resentment in the future. If your giving so very much more to the relationship than your spouse is, that's not good.

Everything within moderation...meaning, it's no one's job to take out the trash...it's no one's job to put gas in the car, or to do the wash...your companions, and should be helping out each other.

I worked with a fella who told me, every Sat. he and his wife share all the cleaning and chores because they both worked. So, one week, he'd clean the upstairs and she the downstairs and the following week, they'd swap.

I also know a man who did everything, his wife did nothing, she barely worked, she ran up the charges constantly, and played on her phone. He got up and fed the baby, every morning, he did the laundry, the dishes, the shopping, his ironing, etc...and after a while, it got to him, rightfully so....there was no reciprocation, none...he wasn't getting anything out of the relationship, so he left.

He spoke to me about it on several ocassions, and what I saw was, he had no down time to do anything for himself. He even worked a lot of overtime, and took care of everything at home. She did nothing.

He lived to make his family happy, giving up his hobbies, dreams, everything and was a good provider, husband and father. He was fortunate enough to find someone who not only didn't take advantage of him, but, was extremely compatible, and to this day, they are still married and very happy. Why? b/c they value each other and their relationship so much so, that they work together at it...always have, and always will.

One day he motioned to me to come over to his car, he opened the trunk, there was a bottle of Champaign, two Champaign glasses, and a packed suitcase of cloths for both he and his wife. It was their anniversary, and he had made reservations for the weekend at a resort, for he and his wife. LOL...Thoughtfulness....adventure, newness and Spontaneity.