Sites We Like

Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding

It’s just four days until the fantasy nuptials of the future Mr. and Mrs. Kroy Biermann. As the time runs out, drama amps up…but it’s no longer mama drama on Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding. Jen has become the MOH who is MIA.

Just like with every episode, the show begins with Kim Zolciak talking to the adorbs K.J. She is complaining to him about how lax her matron-of-honor Jen is being, and he is just giggling away in his Spiderman hoodie. Kim can’t dwell on slack attendants for long, she has tent issues to worry about. Severe tent issues that drive her to drink white zinfandel before lunchtime. Kim has visions of covering the pool and and getting hitched under a gazebo which will sit atop the jacuzzi. She never ever ever ever had dreams of a tent in her backyard to shield guests from potential bad weather.

TMZ reports that the Roswell Fire Department got a call around 9:35am yesterday morning to send a truck to the scene where a four-wheeler was burning. The fire department was able to extinguish the fire and no one was hurt.

I would make a joke about white trash and four-wheelers catching on fire, because I’m from WV and can do things like that – but house fires are serious. Let’s just say: good thing no one was injured and the house didn’t end up in flames.

Kim tweeted her appreciation, “Shout out to Roswell Fire Dept for their quick response this morning God is always on my side! #grateful!” We’re grateful too.

On last night’s Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding, we are (yea!) one week closer to Kim Zolciak’s wedding extravaganza! There is vow writing, there is portable toilet shopping, and there is a potentially faux peace treaty forged between Kim and her wedding-ruining mother.

Can I just say that K.J. is a Kroy Biermann mini-me? I love the premise of Kim talking to him at the start of each show. That skull and crossbones knit cap is just too much!

Kim is wearing a belly baring pleather shirt and meeting up with her Uncle John who apparently lives in my neck of the woods. She starts in on her mother, and John is quick to remind her that she’s about to talk crap about his sister. Kim shares that her mom is threatening to be sick on her wedding day, and John reminds her that she is very particular. Kim’s mom Karen informed John of her threats, and John reveals that his sister is no longer talking to him after he put in his two cents. Wait, did Kim just spit out some gum at the table? John believes that Kim and Karen are too similar, hence the tension. The pair gets teary remembering John’s battle with cancer and how he promised not to leave her until she was married. Kim asks him to accompany her dad in walking her down the aisle. Wow, Kim has a heart on this show!

I must say that I love the conversations between Kim and KJ. Poor kid doesn’t even know he’s part of reality history…but at least he gets to wear a sweet cap. Kim’s excited about planning the wedding, but her mother is causing her major stress. Brielle is having her hair did done for her homecoming dance. Holy crap, for my high school dances, I didn’t have hair and make-up, I had my mom zipping up my JC Penny’s dress…and that’s it. Kim threatens Brielle’s boyfriend of two months, asking if he’s ever grabbed her daughter’s butt. Brielle can’t win, stating she’s never made out with her beau, but she has pecked him on the mouth. Kim is dreading having so many kids and parents at her house pre-dance, but it’s adorable to see Kroy’s relationship with his soon-to-be stepdaughter.

Kim visits Rose the psychic, who tells her that Kroy’s parents don’t like her or want the wedding to happen. I loved the way Rose’s husband answered when Kim asked if he was coming to the wedding. It was the most unconvincing “sure” I’ve ever heard. I predict he’ll skip that mess.

Across town, Kim Kardashian was seen leaving the Scoop clothing store in Manhattan. Kim did a quick clothing change and then grabbed lunch with her BFF Jonathan Cheban and her brother-in-law Lamar Odom at Cipriani. The family has been in town to help Scott Disick open his new restaurant and spend some of their forty million dollars of E! money.

The first episode starts with Kim discussing her future with baby K.J., showing him her bling and expressing her worries about making things happen in time for the perfect wedding date: 11.11.11. Kim is the first to admit that Kroy is a saint for putting up with her. Super true! Her rationale for the wedding date falls short of a tarot reader beating her over the head with a giant cornucopia. Kroy is unsure how he’s going to swing Kim’s dream wedding during football season. Kim won’t hear it–her first wedding happened on the beach in Destin, lasted ninety days, and (gasp!) there was no reception.

Of course, since Kim’s primary occupation is abusing autotune starring in Real Housewives of Atlanta – which just ended its fourth season – she has much to say about her castmates and that extremely vitriolic reunion!

First up, Kim tackles She by SheBroke‘s alleged firing. Her former co-tart will be making an appearance as a bridesmaid TFTW! “I think Sheree is just possibly in a different place,” Kim shares with The Hollywood Reporter. “I don’t know what happened — if it was completely her decision or Bravo’s, or a combination, I don’t know that. What I do know is that she does have a lot going on and I’m going to miss her.”