Carl Steward: Darting here and there . . .

Û It's a bit of a shame the Cardinals beat Oakland to retiring Tony La Russa's number, especially with so many ex-A's on hand for the St. Louis celebration. Can't be just the restaurant fare.

Û La Russa got the A's to the World Series before he did the Cardinals. And he lives here. Bottom line: Plenty of vacant tarps to get his name up.

Û Now if we could only remember what number La Russa actually wore in Oakland. Oh right, No. 10. Numbers on a manager's uni are about as useful as headlights on a golf cart.

Û Nice job by the A's welcoming back broadcaster Ken Korach with a bottom-of-the-ninth walk-off slam Tuesday. Korach didn't show a speck of rust on the call, either.

Û Johnny Doskow did such a nice job as Korach's fill-in it wouldn't be surprising to see him permanently recalled from Triple-A at some point.

Û Brandon Inge: Just call him Grandmaster Slam. Think the Giants wouldn't mind having that guy right about now?

Û Of course, Inge with the Giants might have exceeded the major-league quota for players named Brandon. Seriously, we have Crawford, Belt, McCarthy and now Inge here in the Bay Area. Remember when our sports heroes were guys named Dave and Mike?

Û Ah well, at least the Warriors finally unloaded Brandan Wright. Maybe if he would have spelled it correctly ...

Û There's grand and then there's gruesome. For Bartolo Colon, there doesn't seem to be much middle round between the Gs.

Advertisement

Û That nasty inner ear infection has rendered Coco Crisped.

Û Guillermo Mota's 100-day children's cough syrup bust reminds us of the old George Carlin joke about the Catholic who had to do eternity for eating a beef jerky on Friday.

Û Then there's this other thought: We haven't exactly seen many hints of performance enhancement from Mota this year. C'mon, everyone knows if you want real bite on your slider, you can't go any tamer than DayQuil.

Û Only the Giants could go into L.A. for a three-game series, beat Clayton Kershaw, and still come out feeling like they'd been mugged.

Û Lincecum lost again? No problem, he was throwing 93 mph again, which is all fans seem to care about. (it's location, folks, not speed).

Û If the Rangers had been playing in Texas this week, Josh Hamilton might have been the first man to hit five home runs in a game. That double very well could have carried over the wall.

Û Most impressive aspect of Hamilton's four-homer game: None were pulled. Might be a hitting tip for that Pujols guy down in Anaheim.

Û Excuse us while we go take a shower. Just read the latest Roger Clemens perjury testimony.

Û What, MLB may outlaw the old third-to-first pickoff fake? Some say they've never seen a successful one, but we have. Can't remember the player who got duped, but the image of Jeremy Giambi keeps popping up in our head.

Û Just a hunch: Chris Owusu will be a lot luckier in the NFL, and he'll wind up being a key contributor for the 49ers. One thing's for sure, he won't have to worry about the Saints head-hunting him.

Û You know the Raiders have undergone a full overhaul when they start moving out scouting department standard-bearers like Jon Kingdon, George Karras and Kent McCloughan. Some of those guys have been around longer than Diet Coke and cable TV.

Û No truth to the rumor that Reggie McKenzie will demand the eye patch on the helmet insignia be moved to the other eye. But now that we've given him the idea ...

Û So don't all stand and cheer at once for the return of the USFL. Hey, do the Invaders still hold territorial rights?

Û The way things are going for Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy of late, we're already gearing up for that Briny Baird U.S. Open win at Olympic.

Û Be honest now dept.: Do you remember the name of the horse that won the Kentucky Derby a week ago? We don't.

Û Rafael Nadal, undone by the dreaded blue clay. Now there's a new one. Reminds us of another Carlin routine about there being no blue foods.

Û Finally, who says win-loss records don't mean anything anymore? Tell that to Cal softball pitcher Jolene Henderson, who upped her season record to 30-1 on Thursday. That's the only WHIP we need to know.