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Jerry Garcia Punishes: Starving Goth Teens Want to Eat Puppies

His name is Pico. He plays bass for a band called Woody Hagfy and he told me his dream. Or loosely told me after he had a slugfest battle between himself and a two pitchers of PBR.

What does Woody Hagfy sound like?Pico: Like a piñata full of sex.

Who is Woody Hagfy?
Woody Hagfy stands for ‘Why Don’t You Go Outside and Play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself?’

Excellent. Do you have any shows coming up?
We don’t do shows.

What was your dream?
I dreamt that I was being punished by Jerry Garcia for making fun of Dead Heads. Instead of following the Dead in the dream, I had to follow My Chemical Romance. I had to stand outside all the shows with a box full of puppies and let Goth people pet them.

How did the dream end?
There was another Katrina flood during one of the shows and everyone was trapped in the arena. After a while all the food ran out and everyone wanted to eat the puppies. There were all these starving Goth teens chasing after me trying to eat the puppies.