Crybaby

Illustration by Bob AulTo the dipshit whose four-year-old son started screaming in the Costa Mesa post office on Adams last Wednesday—started screaming and never stopped. You could have done what any normal parent might have done and taken the poor kid to the adjacent lobby to calm him down and let the place operate like a business. I mean, you just got there—you were going to have to wait 10 minutes anyway; it's the fucking post office. But no, you stood there waiting with this kid in your arms wailing like Yoko Ono on Double Fantasy for 10 full minutes. When I got to the counter, your kid was screaming and crying so loudly and dramatically that I couldn't hear the clerk, who was all of three feet away from me and 20 feet away from you. But I forgot: this is your world and I just happen to be living in it. So you just stood there, too stupid to know that this toddler Shangri-La that is Orange County is both the child-rearing and child-molestation capital of California. Do us all a favor: never take your kid on a plane, never go to a sporting event or a movie, and for chrissakes WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM!