Captain’s log, 0500. OMFG UFOS!!!! HELP US HELP US! ASTEROIDS OH NOOOO!! SHOOT THEM DOWN WITH OUR STUPID LASERS THAT WE HAVE TO TIME JUST RIGHT BECAUSE THE UFOS JUST KEEP GOING BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE SCREEN AND SHOOT AT THE SAME TIME!

Graphics:

You just know the graphics are ripped sprites. This was probably made off the 1942 example that is given with Game Maker, too.

Sound:

Annoying as fuck. I had to turn my speakers off because that shit was just so annoying.

Gameplay:

Its simple. You press left and right to dodge the pink circles coming out from the spinning UFOs and space to fire your dinky little laser cannon piece of shit thing and hope that it’ll hit one of them. And as if it wasn’t hard enough, once you get past the first level, guess what? There’s another level! I only got there once, but it was just more of the same shit. Except one plane that looked like it might have been original.

Crappiest Part:

The crappiest part is the stupidity and hardness that somehow are rolled into each other to create this game. Its hard and stupid, and this is a game that no one will like to play. This is the story: Earth is under threat from evil UFOs controlled by members of the Al Quaida terrorist network on the planet, Mars. You must stop them using any means necessary, you are Earth’s last hope, well, actually we have two more of you lined up but you know how it is. Go and kill them!

Overall Score:

A game with a name called Space Attacks doesn’t have very much appeal to give out in the first place. Because its a stupid name, as well. Space isn’t attacking in this game, just some dumb aliens that feel that the large shipment of dildos in the space shuttle shouldn’t get to their home planet because humans are disgusting in that nature. And another annoying thing that happened, was when you died, it went back to the credits screen. When you start up the game, it goes to the credits screen. And you have to press the “main menu” button to go to the main menu each fucking time. 2/10.