How Much Should You Share About Your Relationship?

I decided to do something a little different. I believe there is much to be discovered from more relationship bloggers than me.I wanted to invite other relationship bloggers to my page to share their articles. I will be doing this occasionally as I expand my site. I have posted an article entitled,”How Much Should You Share About Your Relationship?” By Author Tina Tobin http://www.luvemorleavem.com/Check it out and leave your comments, thanks for stopping by.

Nearly every woman ends up discussing her relationship with friends or family at one time or another. These people are part of our support system, so it is natural that we turn to them when there are things that we want to discuss, including our relationships. Whether we have a little gripe, a relationship crisis or just one of those “would you believe what he did” moments, the odds are good that at some point you will be speaking about your relationship with someone other than your partner.

The question then becomes: “What is appropriate to share with others, and what topics should only be discussed between the couple?” Here are some situations that are most likely to get you into trouble when it comes to sharing details about your relationship.

Groups- Even groups that are made up of the nicest individuals can start to resemble an angry mob when given a topic to complain about. A simple negative comment that starts out as a minor criticism or even a funny anecdote about your partner can easily turn into a big tirade about everything that is wrong with men once other women join in and add stories and complaints about their own men. The next thing you know that “innocent” remark about your man can start you on a path to airing every complaint that you’ve ever had about your partner over the course of your relationship.

Friends who don’t have your best interest at heart- There are friends whose company we merely enjoy, and there are those friends that would help us day or night no matter what. If you just had a fight with your boyfriend or husband and you happen to find that you are out with a friend that falls into the first category, then you need to avoid the temptation to spill the beans to this person. Just because they are there and willing to listen is not a good enough reason to discuss your partner with someone who does not truly have your best interest at heart.

The heat of the moment- Even if you are speaking to your best friend in the world, you still need to take a deep breath and give some thought to just how much you should share about your relationship. Words can’t be taken back, and sometimes even if we feel like we need to say something or we will just burst, these are the most critical times for staying calm and thinking about the long term impact of what we’re going to say. Often those same topics that make us feel so intensely that we must share them, are the same topics that are so personal that we will be left regretting that we shared them with anyone other than our partner.

People who won’t tell us we’re wrong- A couple is made up of two people, and when there is a problem there are two people that contributed to that problem. Anyone that we speak to is at a disadvantage because they are only hearing one side of the argument, and it is hard to decipher what really happened. This is taken to another level when we discuss our problems with those people who will never tell us that we are wrong even if they do have some understanding of the role that we most likely played in contributing to the disagreement. It is pointless to share your relationship problems with this type of person unless your real goal is too reinforce how “right” you were rather than to get some solid advice.

So there are some of the most common scenarios that are likely to get you into trouble when you share your relationship problems. As is often the case in communication, you are better off saying less rather than more until you are positive about what information you want to share as well as who should really be privy to this information. If you really feel the need to discuss your relationship with someone other than your partner and you’re unsure about discussing it with friends and family, then consider a neutral party like a counselor. That’s the only way to be certain that your words won’t come back to haunt you if you make the mistake of sharing something that in hindsight shouldn’t have been shared.

Bio:

Tina Tobin, is a relationship writer, video blogger and creator of the site LuvemOrLeavem.com where all discussions are centered around answering the question “should she Luv’em or Leavem?”