Kindness Will Never Be Bullied

There is no causal relationship between being kind and being taken as weakness. If there is any, it is a wrong perception. In the mundane society, being kind or the way that takes kindness as weakness is all about the benefit in which doing no evil and/or avoiding confrontation are believed to equate to being kind and violation of individual self-interest to using such kindness. However, such perceptions result from misunderstanding of true kindness and why true kindness is needed. Goodness is in essence a behavior that can bring happiness to self and others and it is therefore called goodness.

Q: Master, I am thirty-one years old today. My father passed away suddenly due to liver cancer after struggling for only one month upon diagnosis. My mother is suffering from Alzheimer's disease. I always wonder why fate is so cruel to me. I have hated and complained that why God is so unfair to me! How could my father end up like that when he had worked hard and lived with integrity throughout his life? If there were Buddha, why my father passed away at just sixty? Can Buddha see and hear injustice in the world？

A: The fate is determined by neither God nor Buddha, but the karma of each person. And it is not only due to karma in this life, but karma in past lives. That`s why we have all kinds of lives with intertwined sorrow and joy, parting and meeting, and bitterness and happiness. Death is not the end, but only the end of karma of this life, and the beginning of a new life with new karma. Buddha is not the master of fate, but an enlightened one. What Buddha want to tell us is exactly how people should live in this infinite life cycle so to have a better life in each round as well as the truth of life cycle and the way to emancipation.

Q: Master, if compassion for all beings and disregard of one’s personal gain and loss are returned with unfairness and indecency, what should I do? Is being kind really easily taken as weakness?

A: If you really don't care, how would you bother? There is no causal relationship between being kind and being taken as weakness. If there is any, it is a wrong perception. In the mundane society, being kind or the way that takes kindness as weakness is all about the benefit in which doing no evil and/or avoiding confrontation are believed to equate to being kind and violation of individual self-interest to using such kindness. However, such perceptions result from misunderstanding of true kindness and why true kindness is needed. Goodness is in essence a behavior that can bring happiness to self and others and it is therefore called goodness.

The Buddha, based on their life experiences, summarized many behaviors of being kind, such as replacing killing with protecting living beings, allowing no stealing and being generous, abandoning lust and maintaining appropriateness and decency, and condemning lies and keeping promises, etc. The understanding of kindness will thus encompass your life in a rational, clear, and unambiguous way. Mankind is a social animal that they interact with and influence each other. Everyone has their own afflictions, and it always happens that one encounters with afflictions caused by bad karma of others. When this happens, it is the time we need to work it out by seeing rightly with our heart before finding right resolutions.

Q: Master, I have a big problem that I tend to pursue answers from external environment, and to think too much about things having nothing to do with me. For example, I was particularly concerned about national affairs and like to participate in discussion accordinly. I am often angry with bad news of our society and excited by good ones. I am the prisoner of externalities, being happy at good media reports and annoyed and even losing temper at negative ones. I don’t have good self-control. Should I focus on the personal cultivation rather than caring miscellaneous affairs?

A: It is not bad to care about the national and societal issues, but it cannot end in discussion, judge, and cynicism only. Disciples of Buddha should be aware of the external environment, and transform external beings into the right conditions for personal cultivation. Only start from cultivating yourself, can you truly benefit others and help solve social problems. This should be based on the principles of Buddhism laws and the core is self-cultivation. Or it would be an excuse of creating bad-mouth-karma.

Q: Hello, Master! I`m always entangled myself with a lot of things, and become impulsive. Sometimes I listen to "Great compassion mantra" in my spare time, and I would feel a little bit better then. Master, is there any other recommendation for quiet Buddha music?

A: Music can bring a temporary peace but cannot pull out the affliction in one’ heart. The Buddha music is only a supplementary method. There are plenty of ways to gain a moment of peace. But the practice of Dharma is to help us thoroughly purify our mind and make our heart more and more clean and free.