Hours of operation: noon to midnightIdeal meatball-eating time: noon to
midnightNumber of L-shaped aluminum bars: 1Number of tables in the
dining room: 12Number of tables that look out the Alton-facing floor-to-ceiling
windows: 6Scandinavian tourists you’ll see riding scooters on Alton at any given
time: 42 per hourFlat-screen TVs in the dining room:
2Percentage that’ll show Dolphin games during the season:
100Odds that watching the Dolphins this year will be more enjoyable than eating
turkey meatballs with waffle-cut sweet-potato fries: 45-to-1Types of
bottled beers on the menu: 19Types of meatballs on the menu:
3Types of sauces on the menu: 3Number of sauces that
prominently feature beer-marinated mushrooms: 1Amount of balls that come in the
baguette sandwich: 4Number of napkins required to eat a baguette sandwich:
45Varieties of cookies you can choose from to make an ice cream sandwich:
3Total number of possible ice cream sandwich combinations:
6Number of those combinations that involve a meatball: 0