Quote that sucker (1):

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any man hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me.
--Jesus (Rev. 3:20)

By this all men shall know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
--Jesus (John 13:35)

Awake! For the Sun, who scatter'd into flight
The Stars before him from the Field of Night
Drives Night along with them from Heav'n, and strikes
The Sultán's Turret with a Shaft of Light.
--Omar Khayyám

Today I saw a red-and-yellow sunset and thought, How insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday, too, and it rained.
--Woody Allen

Numbers written on restaurant checks within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe.
--Douglas Adams

And if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
--Groucho Marx

"Where were you last night?"
"I can't remember that far back."
"What are you doing tonight?"
"I don't make plans that far in advance."
--from Casablanca

Klaatu barada nikto.--from The Day the Earth Stood Still

I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.
--Frodo

Nel mezzo del cammin' di nostra vita
Mi ritrovai per una selva oscura
Ché la diritta via era smarrita.
[In the middle of our life's journey
I found myself in a dark wood
because I had departed from the right way.]
--Dante

Nous ne voulons pas dire que l'homme est responsable de sa stricte individualité, mais qu'il est responsable de tous les hommes.
[We do not wish to say only that a man is responsible for his own individuality, but that he is responsible for that of all men.]
--Jean-Paul Sartre

But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
--Woody Allen

When you boil it all down, what does a man really need but a good woman and a metaphysical wrangle?
--A&O Film Board

Power is only important as an instrument for service to the powerless.
--Lech Walesa

This principle is so perfectly general that no particular application of it is possible.
--G. Polya

Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
--Anonymous

I like it. I hate it. I like it. I hate it. I like it. I hate it.
Emotions are sweeping over me!
--Zippy

The service of love is the foolishest act a wise man commits in all his life, nor is there anything that will more deject his cool'd imagination, when he shall consider what an odd and unworthy piece of folly he hath committed.
--Thomas Browne

First God created the monkey, for practice. Then He created the School Board.
--Mark Twain

Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the face of his friend.
--Proverbs 27:17

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.
--Proverbs 27:14

I don't belong to any organized political party. I'm a Democrat.
--Will Rogers

Folly is a more dangerous enemy to the good than evil. One can protest against evil; it can be unmasked and, if need be, prevented by force. Evil always carries the seeds of its own destruction... Against folly we have no such defense. Neither protests nor force can touch it; reasoning is no use...

So the fool, as distinct from the scoundrel, is completely self-satisfied; in fact, he can easily become dangerous, as it does not take much to make him aggressive. A fool must therefore be treated more cautiously than a scoundrel.
--Dietrich Bonhöffer

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
--Noam Chomsky

I got a girlfriend that's better than this
And you don't remember at all
As we get older and stop making sense
You won't find her waiting long
--David Byrne

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
--Fran Lebowitz

The pole was firmly fixed in the mud, and he was left clinging to it while the punt drifted away... His expression as the pole slowly sank with him I shall never forget; there was so much thought in it.
--Jerome K. Jerome

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another which states that this has already happened.
--Douglas Adams

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
--Woody Allen

The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.
--G.K. Chesterton

I should have thought that Lord ------, at his age, with his parts and address, need not have been reduced to keeping an opera whore, in such a place as Paris, where so many women of fashion generously serve as volunteers.
--Lord Chesterfield

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
--Fran Lebowitz