I’ve been gaming since the late 1970s and that was rare way back in the day unless you were the ‘girlfriend of the real gamer’. As someone who has done play test, conventions, and is now into WoW, I have had far too many of these incidents either happen to or in front of me.

Being that I am not a shrinking violet I confronted the offender — but that doesn’t mean it didn’t make hard impact on my gaming activities. I tread far more carefully about getting into games at conventions picking only know people. I changed my favorite cosplay items to try and divert attention — this does Not help if someone wants to target you, it just removes that one excuse of being dressed to entice.

Now I’m older, gray, a grandmother with gamer children and grandchildren. I go to some events specifically to guard my grandchildren rather than to enjoy playing. This is what the ‘culture’ has come down to for me, guarding rather than playing except at home on the computer. Even that isn’t completely safe.

I tried to ignore one jerk on WoW who told me straight out that if I wouldn’t ERP he’d just rape my toon. I reported him — don’t know if anything was done — included a screen shot of the convo. Insistence on ERP and or open channel chats about sex, rape, etc do not make people feel comfortable.

For those guys who use the ‘just joking’ response — did you know that those words are a dead give away that you have an abusive attitude. You seem to walk back the insult by using that phrase when all you want to do is deflect the attention back at the person you upset so they look bad. It’s part of gaslighting and it’s part of the tools of the creeper. It’s not just a joke, it’s your attitude toward your belief that you are owed something by women just because you happen to be “A Man”(TM).

Guys, your fantasy may be that you deserve to get some from anyone you lay eyes on — women have been harassed and killed for declining the advances of someone they just aren’t interested in because the jerk couldn’t take a ‘no thank you’ — other people do not owe you a DAMN THING just because you ‘want it’. Women don’t owe you their body just because you are horny. Women don’t owe you a chance at a date just because you think they are cute.

You owe the world to be a part of making things better than they used to be. If you can’t get past that part about your Male Priviledge then you are just a doorstop to change. Male priviledge — just a joke — right?

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