Wednesday, 13 May 2015

nippy fresh breath

Hey everybody! Sivvers here...

Gosh, this blogging stuff is really hard. Nissy made it look so easy but let me tell you, it's not. It's darned tootin' difficult! Firstly, you have to come up with a topic and then... Then you have to write about it! MOUSES!

So this morning I was pulling my whiskers this way and that and getting my tail all in a dither, wondering what on earth I would write about. I was at a loss. I was beginning to think I had writer's block and wondering if that was anything like the crystals block - which I have had, twice, although nothing in the last couple of years thank goodnees but both times I did have them, I had to be hospitalised so I was hoping against all hope that writer's block was nothing like the crystals block because I really didn't want to go into hospital again. Whatever was blocking me, I was going to have to unblock myself.

Then it came to me. NIP!

What better thing to write about than nip?

An Ode to the Nip...

Nah, I'm not really a poet although I did write that one poem way back when. Remember that? Nissy told you all about it, I believe. I wrote it after my first bout with the crystals.

Easy PeasyThe more I drink,the more I pee.The more I pee,the easier it be.Easy peasy.That's the key!

Yeah, I wrote that poem way back when for Peep #1. I gave it to her for Valentine's Day, I do believe. Right after I peed on her. Yup, that was the peeing on the peep incident to which I alluded in my last blog post. The peeing on the first peep incident, to be exact.

So anyway, I hemmed and I hawed and then I hawed and I hemmed and then finally, I decided exactly what to do. I decided that I'd leave the sonnets to Shakespeare and instead, write in regular old prose.

So I struck a pose!

Then I remembered the difference between prose and pose and realised that that one little letter 'r' made a world of difference, for sure, and got down to business.

NIP.

As many of you know, my late brother Nissy was a true connoisseur of the nip. He was a bit of a nip expert, you see. Actually, he was a bit of a niphead, too.

Knowing Nissy's political aspirations, I often wondered why Nissy didn't consider starting up his own political party. The Nip Party... Has a nice ring to it, don't you agree? Of course, peeps might think it's the wrong kind of party or something, I suppose. Guess that's why Nissy didn't want to do that. He was one very wise kitty, for sure.

But just as my family and I will always love my brother Nissy, we will also always love the nip. Rest assured, nip will always be an important topic of conversation at my house and here on this blog, too.

And I actually have some important nip-related news. At Christmas, Peep #1 finally broke down and admitted her lack of nip-growing skills. Total disaster on the nip-growing front. For years she has tried and for years she has failed. Got to give her top grades for consistency even though it's a kind of consistency we can all certainly do without.

So anyway, the peep promised that she would give us a belated Christmas gift of nip plants as soon as the nurseries were open and sure enough, she kept her promise. Last week, she arrived home one day with three lovely catnip plants.

Of course, I immediately checked out their providence as I remembered way back when, when Nissy had been fooled by a big old plant of lemon balm. It did look like nip, I'll grant you that. Looked a lot like nip, for sure. But the smell... The smell! It was so gross. It smelled of lemons! MOUSES!

And then there was the Valerian. You send a peep out for nip and what does she bring home? VALERIAN!

Actually, I have to admit that I quite enjoyed the Valerian root. Nissy wasn't into it. Said it smelled like stinky feet. Guess it all depends upon whose feet you're used to sniffing. MOUSES!

Well like I said, I checked out the plants the peep brought home and found them to indeed be nip. Three beautiful catnip plants.

The peep set them aside on the driveway, waiting to be planted over the weekend. Silly peep.

So the very next morning, I went outside to check on the nip plants for Peep #1 and what did I find? Nothing but stubble! Someone had found those three nip plants and mowed them down to the ground. MOUSES!

No, it wasn't mice. Wasn't slugs or other thugs, either. It was a fur-sib, I think. Of course, my brothers and sisters all denied any knowledge of the incident but I'm pretty sure I could detect a certain nippy freshness to Mason's breath. Mason claimed she had used nip-flavoured toothpaste that morning but I don't think anyone has invented that yet. The Peep should have installed surveillance cameras by those nip plants, for sure.

Well the remnants of the nip plants were indeed planted over the weekend and are now safe and sound in a cage. That's right, they're caged. Big old dog crate with the bottom sawed off is protecting them from becoming snacking material by any marauding cats.

And marauding fur-sibs, too.

You know, Nissy had been saving up his pennies...

Scratch that. Nissy had been saving up his nickels and dimes - on account of the Canadian government getting rid of all the pennies - to invest in nip futures. He said that nip futures were going to be THE NEXT BIG THING. But like I told my sister Mason... There can be no future in nip that has been nipped in the bud and that's a fact, for sure.

So anyway, that's all for today about the nip. I'll be back again on Sunday. Paws crossed there will be no nipping of the nip between now and then. Got to give those plants a chance to grow. MOUSES!

27 comments:

Seville, you and me could get a nip import/export business going! I LOVE nip. It's the best thing since ... well .... nip!! I can't grow my own here so I have to get it brought in! I think the customs and exercise are on to me though!!

PeeEss you are getting darn good at this blogging lark. Nissy would be so proud *wipes away tear* xx

Our kitty caregiver Chris brought us a nip plant from her garden on Monday. Mom planted it right away in the nip pot on the catio. It was too cold this winter for last year's plant to survive. Hope ours grows nice and fluffy before some one of us mows it down. MOUSES! Sivvers, you are doing a great job with the blog. Nissy is so proud. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

Mommy bringed home a nip plant yesterday. Kozmo has decimated all the nip wes had growing in the back yard. Yous see it is weed and its really hard to gets rid of (unless yous has cats) - and wes had a LOT! But not anymore. Anyway, the nip plant Mommy brought home is sitting on the coffee table, as it was raining today, and Koz has eaten half of it!!!! Mes thinks Mommy will has to goes back to the plant place and buys more! Sevvy - is yous THAT much of a Nip head?KissesNellie

Hope your Nip plants survive and grow Sivvy. Mom hasn't been able to find any so far this year and we are getting a bit worried. The wild nip hasn't come up yet either.....*sigh*.......My stash is getting low.Marty

Hi Sivvers! Would you believe my Mom hasn't bought any nip yet this Spring? Nope....sure hasn't....she did bring home a bunch of herbs for HER but did she think of THE CAT? Nope.....disgraceful......I'm giving her "THE LOOK" but so far no results! Mouses!

Hello Sivvers,Blogging is never easy. The most complicated thing is to deal with very lazy human secretary !Can’t you send me some of your nip ? I need it. My human have decided that I’m allergic to cat nip. You will never believe it …. she did put my catnip balls in the garbage bin !RonronsHisia

Hi Seville, Your doing a great job. Great blog. My Zoey loves the "NIP" too. She is always one happy girl when I bring home the nip. I hope you and all your fur-sibs are doing well. (Your peeps, too) Nerissa would be so proud. Mouses!! Looking forward to your next entry. Enjoy your NIP!!

Grate post Seville....Yur Mumma came home with Lemon Balm an Valerian when you sent her out fur 'Nip??? mee was meowin with laffur here!!LadyMum wantss to grow 'Nip as mee likes smine fresh an not dried....butt shee has not found any 'nip plantss to plant....or seedss....At leest mee has mee Greenie treetss ;)**HI-5'SS** on the bloggie Seville!Siddhartha Henry an LadyMum =^,.^=