Learning by doing

Meny

Connection

It’s so funny. I’m listening to Brene Brown again. I wrote about my biggest fear not long ago. Do you know who have a sense of love and belonging? The people who feel that they are worthy of love and belonging. Actually it doesn’t directly have anything to with my fears but indirectly. It’s the fear that you are not enough or have something that if other knows about it, you would not be worthy of connection. Another name for it is shame. That is blocking you from connection.

What is that for me? What shortcoming do I think I have? Those I’m willing to share of course. I’m not successful enough. I don’t have good grades, I don’t have a good job. I’m not outgoing enough. I’m not funny enough. I’m not social enough. Not witty enough. Not smart enough. What the hell am I doing on earth? You maybe thinking. Actually, the fact that I’m willing to share these is an indication that I’m somewhat ok with these. So it’s not as bad as it seems.

How do you get there? How do you go from not feeling worthy of love and belonging to feeling it? Action wise. Be vulnerable and authentic. Very fancy words. Basically it’s about showing yourself. The whole you, the real you. Scary as hell, at least I find it very hard, to put myself out there and letting other people judge me. A few quotes from Brene

“These people had the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others”

“They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were.”

“They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.”

“They talked about the willingness to say ‘I love you’ first. The willingness to do something where there are no guarantees.”

This is about being vulnerable. Put yourself out there. It’s absolutely necessary for connection. This is the part I have big problems with. Sometimes even saying hey to acquaintances. Saying hey first, can be a hard thing for me.