Tag Archives: Froken

Beverly Hills Freaky Frozen Faces

Beverly Hills Freaky Frozen Faces

Why would anyone have a frozen face in Beverly Hills? I mean, come on Janell, it’s hot in Beverly Hills. Are you sure you aren’t confusing your cities? Did you mean to say Brandon, Manitoba, Canada? Brandon, your former stomping grounds, a city where the daytime temperatures can hover at -40 degrees Celsius during the winter; a city whose weather report actually has frost alerts so the inhabitants know exactly how long their exposed skin can be outside before it actually freezes.

I mean, Brandon could have people with literally… Frozen Faces, and that would be Freaky!

HELL NO, I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!

In Beverly Hills we have a different sort of Freaky Frozen Faces. The majority of these Freaky Frozen Faces are sadly inflicted upon a few select groups of people: females, particularly ones over 35 years of age; self-absorbed men who want to stay youthful in order to attract women much younger than their years; or gay boys who live in West-Hollywood, where the pressure to stay looking young is fiercely woven into their culture of beauty. And how do these various demographic groups acquire their Freaky Frozen Faces look?

Check out a list of the Freaky Frozen Faces culprits listed below:

Botox… hey, I like a little Botox too. But, that expression ‘there is such a thing as too much’ can really be applicable when people overdo the Botox. When you put so much Botox in that you can’t move any parts of your forehead and you have zero smile lines around your eyes, then you have entered part-one of becoming part of the Freaky Frozen Faces crowd. Half your damn face can’t move! When the bottom half of your face has movement, and the upper half has none, its looks… freaky. Oy vey…

Fillers… hey, a little filler can go a long way. But when you put filler in your cheeks, and then add some to plump up your cheekbones, and add some to your chin, and then under your eyes, and anywhere else you might see a dot of exposed skin, guess what? You may think you look more youthful, because in youth we do have fuller, rounder faces. But if you put in too much of that shit in your face, your skin doesn’t move the same way. Not only do you have a Frozen Face, if you don’t go to a good doctor, you could also have a freaky frozen face. So, unless you want to walk around looking like a scary nightmare, be careful of how much Filler you put into your face, and WHO does your injections. Trust me — this look draws a fine line between ‘Beauty or Beast’!

So now, with your forehead not moving because of the Botox, and your face barely moving from the fillers, some people – and usually it is only women—decide to make their lips protrude in ways that lips were genetically not designed to do. For some reason, Beverly Hills has become the poster child for ‘Collagen/Filler enhanced lips.’ We are talking about lips that swell between 50 to 100 percent of their normal size, or even bigger; FISH LIPS! I am not sure how these massive fake Fish Lips have translated into a youthful look. I see tourists on Rodeo Drive staring at people whose lips appear to swallow up their faces. It looks weird. For some reason, the Fish Lip Phenomenon hasn’t spread across the country in the massive sweep that has taken over Beverly Hills. But in this city, it has become the new norm, a new norm of beauty. I don’t think it makes women look younger, just fucking weird.

Okay, so I guess the moral of this Freaky Frozen Faces story is…

A little goes a long way when it comes to cosmetic fillers and injectables. If you venture into these waters, err on the side of ‘less is more’.

Looking good and feeling good about yourself is important, and I am all about doing things to make you feel good about yourself. But remember, you can’t truly erase aging, so doing it gracefully—even with assistance –means quality NOT quantity.

And all of that being said, if any dermatologist wants to throw this girl some free Botox or Filler, I will gracefully accept as long as I can still move my face, and I still look like me at the end of the day. I have enough problems; I don’t want to add a FREAKY FROZEN FACE to my list of issues!

Kisses y’all! And these kisses are coming at you from my non-cosmetically-enhanced lips.