Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Maybe I shouldn't have made fun of the idiots people who couldn't fasten their seatbelts earlier.

Yesterday, before dinner, I decided to shower off my travel germs. I turned on the shower to let it warm up while I walked over to the vanity to grab my toiletries. On the vanity, I noticed a mirror. A super-magnified, lit-up mirror. I took a peek in the mirror and gasped at what I saw. The image in the mirror had pores the size of the Grand Canyon. Clearly, the mirror was broken because I'm certain my pores aren't that big. I sat down and stared at my zillion imperfections. I grabbed my tweezers and went to work on my eyebrows. Oh my gosh, is that a whisker on my chin? What the heck? This is what forty looks like?!

I think they put this mirror in every room, hoping that the guest will take a look, be completely disgusted at what they see, and rush to make an appointment in their spa. In fact, I think a spa menu was sitting right next to the mirror with "facial" at the top of the list.

I was a woman obsessed. Twenty minutes must have passed while I sat there attempting to reconcile the image in the mirror with the image I had in my mind. At some point, I snapped back to reality and remembered I needed to get in the shower or I was going to be late for dinner. I walked back to the bathroom where the tub was just about to overflow. The tub was plugged up and I hadn't even realized it! Oops.

I plunged my hand into the water to open the drain, then, just as quickly, removed the skeletal remains of what was once my hand. The skin had completely melted off. The water was 4000 degrees. I guess the fact that the water was actually boiling and had smoke swirling above the tub, eluded me. Yep, it takes a special kind of stupid to scald yourself while bathing.

Yep thats what 40 feels like. Things start going as in your mind and common sense. Things start growing in places they should not be, how dare that hair grow on MY chin! And it add insult to injury things are starting to go south and yes I mean in the boobie department...that is why I am staying 39 forever!

I once turned the water on too hot in a hotel, backed away, put my foot on the VERY SLIPPERY back of the tub while backing away, and fell...giving myself whiplash. I was 19. Age has got nothing to do with agility...

I went through something similar earlier this year at the dentist. When taking x-rays they put your chin on this perch with a mirror about a foot away. And they make you smile and hold it. I could see every single line and wrinkle. It was awful. Ps.. I turn 40 too in three days.

This reminds me of the episode of Cougar Town where Courtney Cox encounters the "Evil Mirror" It was classic!! I tried to find a YouTube vid to send you of it but I can't find it!! :-( Just know, you are not alone.

I suppose I must qualify as a special kind of stupid as well, because I have several times started to step into a bath that I'd made way too hot, usually when away from home. And once I scalded myself in the shower at a friends house, but that was because the cold water suddenly ran out. Hope your hand isn't too bad. Enjoy California. Your pictures are beautiful, makes me miss it.

Ah, let's not discuss 40 please....I'll be 43 next month. My back and neck have both decided they don't like my body and has revolted. I spent all day yesterday in bed, alternating between sleeping, and having the heating pad on my back as well as ibuprofen. Don't know what I did to cause the problem but I'm a little better today and back at work.

Oh, as for the "hot tub", I've done that countless times, at home. So don't feel too bad. It happens to us, unfortunately.