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Rustle Of The Lost Soul !!

The day I first met her, I knew that she was different. She was way beyond my league. I had accepted that she would never be completely mine forever. She was a distant star, always in my sight but never in my reach. And I would always be chasing after her, dreaming about her. Lost. Unrequited. Wondering what might have been. Ahh ! What to say about The Rustle Of The Lost Soul !!

Maybe. Just Maybe, I would probably fall in love again. It was likely that I would be married sometime in future. I would have a house with white picket fences, a loving wife, two or three kids who I would adore with all my heart. Food on the table, a car, a secure job. Our family would sit down to have dinner together every night, and on Sundays we would go out. All the meager things that humans seek.

But in all those things, she will always be there. I know that I will go to the beach and regret going there because the blue water will remind me of her favorite top that she always wore; the color of the Sun bleached forget-me-not petals ringed with deepest indigo. I will have to listen to the tinkling of the wind chimes, and try not to think of her laugh when I tickled her.

The Rustle Of The Lost Soul !

Every morning, I will get reminded of her hazel eyes – The color of milk chocolate edged with a deep forest-green. When she was jovial they were warm, lively, and sparkled with mirth. When she was downcast they seemed to grow dim and dark. The smooth green on the edge contrasted beautifully with the amber color in the middle, capturing the heart of any man who gazed at her.

It is nothing less than an irony; I will remember her in all the things that I will do, and regret them later. I don’t know how I will be able to touch anyone ever again. Even if I do, I don’t think I will be able to read through their skin, like it happened with her and me.

What will it be like without her? What is it like living without someone whom you have loved with all your heart? Suffering, agony, pain, remorse. That’s how she always described it. Although I believe it’s much more than just “suffering”. It was as if a thousand knives had been stabbed through my body. As if my bones were shattered. My heart had fallen into my stomach. If I lost my sight would I not see the same darkness as I do now?

Rustle Of The Lost Soul !! The Snippet!

The Rustle Of The Lost Soul !

Did she know how much I love her? Does she know that I love her more than anything in this world? Did she know that I would have run across the world to get that shooting star which she wanted so badly? Did she know that I would have gone through everything we’ve been through, again? That I would have got up at 3 a.m. in the night – every night – to make a cup of tea for her, because she had had a nightmare. Does she know that I would have had the fight with her again, over harming herself with her thoughts. That I would let her cry her heart out, clutching me for hours.

But these things will never happen again, and I can never go back to before she showed up in my life. Perhaps, I don’t even want to go back. I cannot give up the memories I have with her, for anything. Nothing. She is and always will be. My Soulmate – Forever.