Job application horror stories

When DesignCrowd chief executive Alec Lynch received a message in the post from a recruiter – scrawled in marker across a piece of bubble wrap – he couldn't help but take notice.

"Gidday Alec," said the note. "I heard you like bubble wrap – here is some limited edition stuff from my private collection. I'm a tech recruiter here in Sydney and I know of some good people that want to come work for you … "

You won't believe what some people put on their job applications. Credit:iStock

The quirky gambit, inspired by a mention of Lynch's love of bubble wrap on his company's website, paid off, leading to a conversation between the two men. However countless other 'original' approaches - including an application from a pole dancer for a nursing job in an aged care centre - have proven far less successful, unless you count the amount of laughter enjoyed by those on the receiving end.

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Poles apart

The misguided enthusiasm of that particular applicant sticks in the memory for Anne-Marie Orrock, managing director at Corporate Canary HR Consulting.

This quirky bubble wrap 'cover letter' paid off for the applicant.

"Her current employment and experience was as a pole dancing instructor and she believed her entertaining skills would be an additional advantage and 'add excitement to the elderly in their 'long boring days' trapped on the 'inside'," says Orrock.

Erin Mayo, who was once recruiting for a writer at a high-profile celebrity magazine, says some applications simply leave the mind boggling.

"I once had an applicant who demonstrated his responsibility because he was 'the only one allowed to clean the thick shake maker' at his current employer, McDonald's," says Mayo.‬

Thinking positive

Other applicants across the board may have also lacked clues, but could never be accused of being short of optimism.

Rebecca Brownbill was recruiting for a PR account manager, and the role was clearly advertised as such. However it didn't stop all and sundry throwing their hats into the ring.

"I had applications from bank managers, real estate agents and a car salesperson," says Brownbill. "It was insane and just a bit frustrating."‬‬

Speaking of public relations jobs – "I once had a PR girl put under interests on her CV - 'celebrating'," says a friend of this reporter's.‬‬ The same friend, in a different stage of her career, had an application from a health practitioner, who included this unexpected nugget: 'likes making breadboards'.

Apply yourself

Other friends and colleagues have told of applicants who claimed to have "worked alongside Baz Lurnham" (clearly not for long enough to be able to spell his name), or had an unusual complement of skills, such as "a keen eye for detail and love for Stevie Nicks". Many job-hunters fail to impress by murdering the English language – by using atrocious grammar, or sometimes even spelling their own suburb incorrectly.

Others have gone straight for the laughs (at least you'd have to hope that was the intention).

"I once had a guy apply (unsolicited) for a job using a CV that had a check pattern border on it," says a mate, who used to work in the public sector but can't reveal his name.

"Under the bit where you put your career ambition he wrote: 'Your organisation is a chessboard, and I don't need to see where the pieces are to know I could have it in checkmate in four moves'. I really wanted to hire him.‬"

Meanwhile a Queensland finance company once advertised for an office administrator but was surprised to receive an application that included a persuasive cover letter explaining why the man in question would be a perfect fit to work at Subway. "I really like food, so I was tempted," says the person responsible for the hiring and firing.‬

Got any job application horror stories? Let us know in the comments below.