Odd Behavior

So, I have noticed that Kaitlyn acts totally different around me then she does her daddy. When she is with me, she is calm, happy, independent and happy to sit alone and entertain herself for long periods of time. In walks daddy and my happy, calm baby is replaced by a whiny, clingy, needy, screechy baby needing to be held by daddy only. I don't get this! I find her so difficult to manage when my DH (and sometimes my MIL too) is around. When I am alone with her she is a delightful little angel. I swear she is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! Anyone experience anything similar or have any ideas what may be happening?

So, I have noticed that Kaitlyn acts totally different around me then she does her daddy. When she is with me, she is calm, happy, independent and happy to sit alone and entertain herself for long periods of time. In walks daddy and my happy, calm baby is replaced by a whiny, clingy, needy, screechy baby needing to be held by daddy only. I don't get this! I find her so difficult to manage when my DH (and sometimes my MIL too) is around. When I am alone with her she is a delightful little angel. I swear she is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! Anyone experience anything similar or have any ideas what may be happening?

I have read that some babies show that they missed you by crying/ acting out. Maybe this is just her was of saying "I missed you daddy!" because she can't say it with words yet....? Here is the link... it was actually on WTE via email.

I have read that some babies show that they missed you by crying/ acting out. Maybe this is just her was of saying "I missed you daddy!" because she can't say it with words yet....? Here is the link... it was actually on WTE via email.

thanks for the link, that was an interesting article! However she spends about equal amounts of time with the both of us, yet never seems to show distress when I am around or suddenly appear after a long absence as she does with him. Guess she doesn't miss me:( She does a similar thing to her grandmother (my MIL) and that does fit in with what the article is saying since she doesn't get to see her as often as she sees me. Maybe she doesn't feel like she gets enough attention from daddy when he has her. I don't know what they do all day, so it's hard for me to say!

thanks for the link, that was an interesting article! However she spends about equal amounts of time with the both of us, yet never seems to show distress when I am around or suddenly appear after a long absence as she does with him. Guess she doesn't miss me:( She does a similar thing to her grandmother (my MIL) and that does fit in with what the article is saying since she doesn't get to see her as often as she sees me. Maybe she doesn't feel like she gets enough attention from daddy when he has her. I don't know what they do all day, so it's hard for me to say!

That could be it... I know my DH takes very good care of Declan but when he has him by himself there is less interaction and more sitting next to daddy to watch TV or something. When I am home and he is with DH that how it is so I can imagine that it would be like that all day while I am at work. He doesn't mean anything bad by it because he puts his arm around Declan and says "Look at my big boy just sitting next to daddy on the couch". He is a proud daddy. Or maybe she knows she can get away with more from daddy and gets held more when she cries to him? She sounds like shes is good for mommy though so that's a plus...LOL.

That could be it... I know my DH takes very good care of Declan but when he has him by himself there is less interaction and more sitting next to daddy to watch TV or something. When I am home and he is with DH that how it is so I can imagine that it would be like that all day while I am at work. He doesn't mean anything bad by it because he puts his arm around Declan and says "Look at my big boy just sitting next to daddy on the couch". He is a proud daddy. Or maybe she knows she can get away with more from daddy and gets held more when she cries to him? She sounds like shes is good for mommy though so that's a plus...LOL.

I do think that might be part of it. he has a much stronger reaction to her fussing and crying - he will immediately take action when she makes any sort of unpleasant/upset/annoyed noise. whereas I am a bit more stern with her and will not show an emotional response to whining (if she is truly upset about something or hurt of course I comfort her). I do think she plays her daddy big time and he genuinely has a hard time understanding the difference between whiny behavior and when she actually needs attention for something important. He is a typical man and not very good at emotions and understanding them, lol.

I do think that might be part of it. he has a much stronger reaction to her fussing and crying - he will immediately take action when she makes any sort of unpleasant/upset/annoyed noise. whereas I am a bit more stern with her and will not show an emotional response to whining (if she is truly upset about something or hurt of course I comfort her). I do think she plays her daddy big time and he genuinely has a hard time understanding the difference between whiny behavior and when she actually needs attention for something important. He is a typical man and not very good at emotions and understanding them, lol.

my son is like this too...he is perfectly content w. my husband unitl i walk in the room and he gets all whiney and clingy for me to hold him. my husband HATES it :( it's just a phase though...this too shall pass :)

my son is like this too...he is perfectly content w. my husband unitl i walk in the room and he gets all whiney and clingy for me to hold him. my husband HATES it :( it's just a phase though...this too shall pass :)

That could be it, babies are smart of this age, she knows that you don't respond to whining so she doesn't do it when with you but she knows she can get something out of him if she whines so when she sees him she whines and same with MIL, she can get the response she wants by doing the behavior but if she whines at you then you don't respond so she has decided it isn't worth the effort.

That could be it, babies are smart of this age, she knows that you don't respond to whining so she doesn't do it when with you but she knows she can get something out of him if she whines so when she sees him she whines and same with MIL, she can get the response she wants by doing the behavior but if she whines at you then you don't respond so she has decided it isn't worth the effort.

Campbell does the same thing only with me. She's with DH a lot during the day and when I get home, no matter how content she was, she cries for me. For a good hour or so she just wants her mommy. I'll of course greet her, nurse her, etc. But if it is just whining to be held, etc. I let her fuss a bit. It's a hard time of day (dinner/close to bed time) so she gets a bit irritable. But I just try and keep her involved with what I'm doing but try to just continue on with what needs to be done (dinner, laundry, etc.). :) I kind of like it though. I appreciate that she misses me while I'm gone. It's nice to walk in and know you're needed/wanted! Love it. :)

Campbell does the same thing only with me. She's with DH a lot during the day and when I get home, no matter how content she was, she cries for me. For a good hour or so she just wants her mommy. I'll of course greet her, nurse her, etc. But if it is just whining to be held, etc. I let her fuss a bit. It's a hard time of day (dinner/close to bed time) so she gets a bit irritable. But I just try and keep her involved with what I'm doing but try to just continue on with what needs to be done (dinner, laundry, etc.). :) I kind of like it though. I appreciate that she misses me while I'm gone. It's nice to walk in and know you're needed/wanted! Love it. :)

Same story here - I'm gone during the day and Chase is with Daddy, and so when I get home he wants his mommy! SO says "he acts so different when you're here" and says that he whines a lot more with me. I'm very sensitive to his cries though, and I do hold/comfort him a lot, and I'm very hands-on when I'm with him. He is independent, but just has fussy "I want to be held" times. When he is like that and I need to do things, I will wear him in the Mei Tai. He doesn't need this all the time, and is usually very content playing/exploring on his own, so it's not like he needs to be held all the time, he just has times when he needs that extra security I think.

Same story here - I'm gone during the day and Chase is with Daddy, and so when I get home he wants his mommy! SO says "he acts so different when you're here" and says that he whines a lot more with me. I'm very sensitive to his cries though, and I do hold/comfort him a lot, and I'm very hands-on when I'm with him. He is independent, but just has fussy "I want to be held" times. When he is like that and I need to do things, I will wear him in the Mei Tai. He doesn't need this all the time, and is usually very content playing/exploring on his own, so it's not like he needs to be held all the time, he just has times when he needs that extra security I think.

Nate is the same way. He spends time with Daddy and time with my parents and he acts different for all of us but we all have a different ways of caring for him. When I come home he gets so excited to see me and he just wants to be held but it will only last for a little bit and then he off and playing again. However, daddy doesn't stop working til after dinner time so Nate doesn't get excited to see daddy until then even though daddy will say hi when he gets home.

I would talk to your husband and MIL and see if you three can agree on how to react to the whining but also allow each person to build their own relationship with her.

Nate is the same way. He spends time with Daddy and time with my parents and he acts different for all of us but we all have a different ways of caring for him. When I come home he gets so excited to see me and he just wants to be held but it will only last for a little bit and then he off and playing again. However, daddy doesn't stop working til after dinner time so Nate doesn't get excited to see daddy until then even though daddy will say hi when he gets home.

I would talk to your husband and MIL and see if you three can agree on how to react to the whining but also allow each person to build their own relationship with her.

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