Hats Off to Corrine Brown

Repping the people and headwear of Florida

"A Gift From My Constituents Who Work at Cracker Barrel Country Store and Restaurant Out by the Airport"

"Pepto Bismol Vomit"

"The One That Matches My Sensible Red Shoes"

"Bus Driver-style Cap Adorned With Silver Studs and Glitter"

"Orange Organza Orgasm"

"The One That Michael Jackson Would Wear If It Had Waaaaaay More Sequins on It—and He Weren't Dead"

* I can only assume this one (promoting Kerry/Edwards) has been retired.

*And I assume she had to give this one back, which is just as well since it doesn't fit her fashion aesthetic.

"The One With the Rhinestone-studded Tarantulas on the Brim"

"Red, White, Blue and Brown"

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"The One People Sometimes Mistake for My Hair or One of My Ubiquitous Wigs"

"Don't Mess With Texas or Me When I'm Wearing This Hat"

"The One That Looks Like I've Got a Black Cat Sleeping on My Head"

"The Samuel L. Jackson With Sequins"

"The One That Looks Like Those Giant Poufy Things You Use in the Shower"

"Vice Admiral Bedazzle"

"The One I Wore When I Co-Presented an Award in the Lobby of an Office Building in Front of the Revolving Door"

Posted
Sunday, May 26, 2013 12:00 am

THE SPECKTATOR

Kerry Speckman shares her unique perspective and observations on people, places and events on the First Coast and beyond. She's also the 2012 winner of Jacksonville Dancing With the Stars, so she's got that going for her.

While I haven't a clue as to how many hats Brown owns, I can only assume she has a walk-in closet jam-packed with them. I also like to imagine each one has its very own hat box labeled with a description of its contents.

Since I have never been invited to Brown's home, I can't verify any of the above, but that certainly hasn't stopped me from coming up with my own hat box labels.

Great job, Kerry! However, the one "missing" picture (don't know if it exists) is Rep. Brown on the stage when Jacksonville got the Jaguars. Wayne Weaver jumping up and down like a kid, hugging everyone on the stage, UNTIL he got to Rep. Brown, in one of her hats and perhaps a wig. She straight armed Mr. Weaver, probably in fear he would know the "stuff" off her head! A visual that has been burned into my brain all these years! Tuesday, May 28, 2013|Report this