What’s it like to be Asexual and Married?

Ever since starting our relationship, then announcing we were engaged, we have had some people say “but I thought you were asexual, how does that work??”. Rather than repeating myself, I thought I’d write a blog laying down a few facts.

Sex and Love

There is a huge difference between sexual atraction and emotional attachments, and though they usually go hand-in-hand, one can still live without the other. So what I’m going to do is reflect on my feelings towards Shane and how we have approached our relationship.

To me, Shane is everything. It’s crazy really, and years back I would have never of guessed it possible to love someone this much. Shane is my fuel, he has gotten me through so much just by loving me. I am often amazed that someone so honest and wonderful could love someone like me, but in doing so he’s helped me find my self-worth and makes me feel okay in being myself.

So you get the picture, I’m in love with this dorky git, it’s a perfectly normal, healthy relationship!

The only thing that differs for us is there’s a lack of interest in sex.

I’ve never been sexually attracted to Shane, but I AM so attracted to who he is. There is nothing about him which I find “sexy”, but holy heck is he beautiful to me.

So What’s That Like?

If we are bored in the evenings, we play computer games together or draw our comics. If we’ve got too much energy we go swimming or walking, or even play fight (I get so many bruises XD)! Whenever the opportunity of sex might crop up for most couples, to us we don’t even consider it. Saying that, this doesn’t mean we don’t like being affectionate, heck, we LOVE our snuggles! We enjoy kissing and sleep in the same bed, but snuggling up and falling asleep in each other’s arms is all we need.

Our Views On Sex

There is nothing wrong with having a sexual connection with another person, and if you are both in love and just want to make each other feel good, then I think that’s a wonderful thing! It’s not that we are repulsed by it, but it’s just not something we have a drive for.

Asexuals in relationships is not a abnormal, in fact, there are many people who are! And each can have very different or very similar experiences to myself and Shane, if you’d like to read other people’s stories then check out the links below!