WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

AUG. 20, 9:30 P.M.: The scorching Florida sun had been down for only an hour when a roving suspect or suspects decided it was safe to raid a spot in the 500 block of Conroy Street.

The burglar or burglars began by climbing up and over a prickly barbed-wire fence  cautiously, of course  surrounding a building and its parking lot. That potentially painful task accomplished, they set their sights on a 1985 Ford van-turned-ice cream truck.

The suspect or suspects broke into the truck by prying open a wooden window, damaging it to the tune of $50, and slipping inside. The confection confiscator(s) raced straight to the vehicle's rear, where an undetermined amount of salty potato-chip snacks and syrupy cans of soda were yanked off a shelf. Next, the burglar(s) raided the freezer, where a bundle of frosty fudgesicles, chocolate-chunk drumsticks and ice-cream sandwiches were stolen.

All told, $250 worth of chips, icy treats and pop was taken, likely leaving some kids wondering what happened to the ice cream man the next day. Police reports note that this is the fourth ice cream-truck incident to have occurred in the past three months.

AUG. 17, 3:01 P.M.: A blond-haired, blue-eyed burglar, 25, might've been bored this afternoon and thought it a keen idea to break into a 60-year-old woman's Winter Springs house. He gained access to the cozy home in the 700 block of Arlington Street by smashing and climbing through the southwest kitchen window.

The burglar shattered the kitchen window with his fist, maybe believing glass shards were no match for his skin. By the time he stood in the kitchen, it should come as no surprise that he was in dire need of a Band-Aid, his gaping wound gushing freshly pumped blood. He fled to the backyard, then toward West Colonial Drive, where he hopped on a bus. But an officer's canine sniffed the telltale blood trail leading directly to the ensanguined suspect. He was pulled off the bus, taken to the hospital for his hand injury and later charged with criminal mischief and residential burglary.

Is there a lesson to be learned here? Yes, there is: Don't break windows with your bare hands, especially when you're in the act of committing a crime.

AUG. 17, 10 A.M.: A woman who works at a very popular bus station in the 500 block of North John Young Parkway rode her bicycle to work that morning, as usual. She parked it in the station's warehouse  which isn't open to the public  and carried on with her day. Upon returning to retrieve her hot wheels, she discovered they were long gone.

Luckily for her, a security camera had taped the theft. The tape revealed a peculiar, mustached man sporting black shoes and a white dress shirt entering the warehouse and fearlessly mounting the black Huffy beach-cruiser bike, valued at approximately $175. A 21-year-old bystander witnessed the man pedaling away, hitting the road without heed.

The high cost of gasoline is no doubt a factor in this crime.

AUG. 15, 6:30 A.M.: Another shattered window, this one done the correct way.

A suspect or suspects sneaked up to an elementary school in the 900 block of Lake Mann Drive and gained entry to a lounge room by smashing a small window in a door, using unknown tools. The person(s) then reached through the opening, unlocked the door and entered the vacant space. Another sheet of glass caught the suspect's or suspects' eye, only this time it was one on a vending machine. It was also shattered with an unknown tool (not a pair of hands), and stripped of an undetermined number of candies. No other rooms within the property were burglarized, and shattered-glass damages totaled $300.

It's a sad day when such malicious damage is caused just for the sake of getting at a handful of sweets.

AUG. 15, 5:30 A.M.: An hour earlier, an unidentified suspect or suspects broke into the home of a 50-year-old man in the 2500 block of Conway Road. Rather than taking a television, a pricy watch or other such valuable items, our burglar(s) settled on a coin collection that would be the pride of any numismatist. What is the world coming to when a hobbyist spends years amassing a fine collection, only to have the work erased by uncaring criminals?