Habits That Destroy You

3- Change your circle of friends

Unfortunately, too often we are a product of our environment, and if that environment is rotten, guess what happens to you? Stop hanging out with losers and people that are a negative influence. If they don't add value to your life, they are sucking it away. Friends either help or hurt, otherwise they are just strangers. A wiseguy that purposely got out of the business is not going to get too far by hanging out with wiseguys still in the business, is he?

4- Sabotage yourself

Sometimes, we need the crap beaten out of us for the truth to sink in. Sometimes we need to be taught a tough lesson in order to learn. So maybe you need to set yourself up for some severe consequences that will scare you halfway to Bangkok to get your life back on track. Turn yourself in, rat on someone connected, screw with the wrong guy's wife; do whatever it takes for you to hit rock bottom and wake up.

zero sum game

Like every bad habit, you are essentially playing poker with your life. Your bad habit makes you happy, it brings you a little bit of a thrill, you can feel like a winner after, but it can also screw you six ways to Wednesday (and to a back room for a beating with a bat). In the end, you have to ask yourself if the pleasure of the habit outweighs the risk it poses to the rest of your life, and take your chances if it does. As much as I love brunette tail, it's a zero sum game.

I know that, for all the pleasure they give me, they have plenty of downsides. I love to gamble on prizefights, but not enough to sweat if I lose big. I love a good wine, but not enough to lose my composure by overindulging. Control your bad habits or, better yet, get rid of them. We're human and we're imperfect. It doesn't take much for a vice to highlight those imperfections, so why not do something about it? Capisce ? Watch your backs and keep your noses clean.

Mr. Mafioso answers your e-mail

Editor's note: This reader's e-mail has not been edited and is presented as is.

Mr. Mafioso, I am a huge fan of gangster films, and I believe in the way of life and advice that you give. However, in my social realm, my "friends" don't really hold me in high regard. I'm made fun of, in a joking way, but it still pisses me off. Alot of the time we all get along and have fun, but when it's time to gang up on someone, it is always me. I want it to end. How can I do this?

Respectfully, Derek

Listen Derek,

I make sure that no one uses me for their own amusement. I let people know the size of their leash. Why should you be any different? What you have here is a serious lack of respect. Even as a young punk, I would know better than to kid or tease somebody with weight even if I knew he was a good sport. Obviously no one thinks you're heavy. You haven't set the tone right from day one, and now you are trying to change people's ingrained impressions of you. Good luck.

Want some practical advice? Tell somebody that teases you to screw off, push him around and hey, maybe even punch him in the face if you have to. Even if they beat the crap out of you in return, I guarantee they'll think twice about saying something to you. You've sent a message that you are asking for respect. That's the key here, so make a bold declaration. I hate violence, but if someone is a cafone , only a good shot to the head will knock some sense into them. Talking will do you no good.

Unfortunately that's the way the street works in situations like these.