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For the sixth time and counting, Hugh Jackman plays Marvel mutant superhero The Wolverine.

What the heck is a wolverine, anyway?

Like Lugosi and Dracula, or Karloff and Frankenstein, Hugh Jackman personifies The Wolverine, a.k.a. Logan. It’s hard to imagine any other actor playing the role, yet with high-profile appearances in pictures like The Prestige and Les Miserables, Jackman has somehow managed to avoid the typecasting trap many before him have fallen into.

Here’s a picture of a wolverine, if anybody is interested:

Hmm. Between the claws and the frowny-face, I definitely see a resemblance.

That’s the best you can do? I thought it actually had a pretty good story.

It does. which makes you wonder how it came out so muddled. A mega-wealthy Japanese industrialist offers Wolverine the “gift” of mortality in a ploy to steal his powers of regeneration so that he himself may live forever. The whole thing of Wolverine becoming vulnerable and facing real, life-threatening danger should have made for a more compelling film, but it’s weighed down with too many characters and confused motivations.

Like, what was the deal with the Ninja Guy? Whose side was he on? And all those ninjas dancing around and turning flips–they looked like extras from Beverly Hills Ninja.

The ninjas were oddly comical. And just to give an idea of what a head-scratcher this movie could be, we are specifically told at one point that Evil Dad (these characters do have actual names, but who cares?) is just “all right” as a swordsman. So when he gets in a fight with our super-powered hero, we expect him to go down pretty quick, right? Wrong. It soon becomes obvious the only way the regenerating Wolverine is going to beat this guy is if he wears out his sword slicing up Logan’s mutant hide.

Which made it all the more gracious of Wolvey to allow Evil Dad the “punishment” of living with himself.

And may I please ask, if the bad guys want Logan’s powers, why go through all the rigamarole of making him vulnerable and risking him getting killed, and then taking his powers, when they could have just taken the powers right off and let it go at that?

But then we would have missed the amazing three-hundred-mile-an-hour bullet train fight!

Yeah, that was pretty great. Totally unbelievable, but imaginative and entertaining.

I liked that the movie is set in Japan. That added some real flavor.

The tie-in to Nagasaki was nice, too–especially since they didn’t just drop it after the first reel.

Pardon me, Cecil B. DeMille, did you say, “The first reel?”

They still use that term.

Do they? Well, it’s an epic motion picture with colossal special effects and a swell supporting cast. The box office should be boffo.

I’ll ignore that and go with your mention of the supporting cast. Rila Fukushima, as Logan’s red-haired, pint-sized bodyguard, swings a mean sword.

I thought she should have kicked a little more butt, though.

Yeah, and Tao Okamoto was effectively poignant as the corporate heir caught in the middle. She showed she could hold her own in a fight, too, although some aspects of her role troubled me.

The love-interest bit? Didn’t you think she and Logan were actually kind of good together?

They were, except for two things: Hugh Jackman is old enough to be her father, and Logan is old enough to be her grandfather.

I never could figure out what her character was up to, exactly, but Viper was awesome. Also, she demonstrated once again the super-hero movie principle of “Pulverize the villain one time–no problem. Pulverize the villain later at a more plot-convenient time–instant death.”