Bell Curve

You bought a cow at auction a couple of years ago that, unbeknownst to you, was infected with Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy—also known as Mad Cow Disease. Your entire herd goes down.

2

25%

The drought really caught you unaware and a wheat-killing fungus invaded your crops. You now have to buy, at retail, food for your cows. You may—or may not—break even this year.

3

50%

The ranch is finally starting to make some money. You're able to pay your ranch hands and your in-laws have stopped referring to you and your wife as Ma and Pa Ingalls.

4

75%

Whole Foods comes a-callin' and wants you to raise your organic grass-fed cattle only for them. They make an offer you can't refuse. (Oh, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence….)

5

95%

At auction last year you felt sorry for a cow-eyed white calf and bought it. Turns out it was a sacred white "beefalo" and the Sioux Indian tribe of South Dakota wants to purchase it from you for more than your entire ranch is worth.