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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Ghost of Valentine's Past

I don't like Valentine's day.

Really and truely. I don't like it. I don't like the hype, the pressure, the combination of pink and red. Just not my thing. I'm not sure how my husband feels about this revelation. And in truth I'm not sure how I feel about this revelation. What kind of person doesn't like the day the known world has set aside to shower one's object of affection with cutesy stuffed animals, chocolate roses, over-priced jewelry and truck accessories?

I'll tell you who, me. And the reason why is simple. Though I have had 5 whole years of Valentine's day goodness with the man I love, I had at least 13 years of bitter disappointment at days of Valentine's past. I remember all too well what it's like to sit at the office and have the only non-flowered desk in site as well as no prospects of any waiting at home. Or how about that one roommate who had 5 guys ask her out for Valentine's day while you sat and watched "First Wives Club" in order to make it all go away. That was a good year. And then there are always the Valentine's gone wrong. A few examples:

1. At the tender age of 16 I baked a heart shaped cake for the boy I loved. He in turn said he didn't like cake. That may have been when I got the other half of the earring from Ed. Did I mention he was on house arrest?

2. The year of the stalker was a good one. I was 19 he was older. After one date he said he thought he knew me from the pre-existence and we were meant to be together. I said I didn't think so. He yelled at my roommates when I wouldn't answer the phone. He grew me a rose because it's more romantic and meant more that just a store-bought one. I changed my phone number and moved.

3. And then there's the socks. Nothing says Happy Valentine's day like an over-sized pair of men's wool socks. Yeah, that had to be true love. At least they were red.

The 13 years of Valentine's yickyness have skewed my feelings towards a healthy loving outlook on Valentine's Day. I'm hoping that a few more good ones may rectify the situation... or maybe counseling... Prozac? Just for the weekend of course.

This year of course I have nothing to fear. My wonderful husband is in the kitchen right now whipping up a wonderful dinner and caramel brownies have just come out of the oven. We have the rest of the day to ourselves and are very much looking forward to it. This will be a good one. May yours be as well.

5 comments:

Did I ever tell you about the Valentine's date I had with someone else who didn't have anyone to go out with either? He brought me candy and flowers, then took me to dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. During the course of our dinner conversation that night, he outright told me I was extremely opinionated. (With which extreme opinion many people highly agree, to my chagrin.) He married SOMEONE ELSE six months later! Yay me!

In my 41 years, I have only had 2 great Valentine's Days: the 1st was last year when I had my first date with Zach, and today when we, as husband and wife, celebrate our first full year together.

I agree that Valentine's Day is just for candy and card makers, and, for the most part, pretty worthless and humiliating to the rest of us. But here's to many more great Valentine's Days with our respective sweeties; may future Days eventually overcome all of the tragic Days of bygone years.

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"The calendar advanced, and there was no baby. The English language lacks the words 'to mourn an absence.' For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child, or friend we have all manner of words and praises, some helpful, some not. Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only 'I am sorry for your loss.' But for the absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?" - Laura Bush