Today I had two posts in mind — it was going to be either Gavin’s birth story or the harrowing results of his preschool admissions process. Those will have to wait.

Last night I received the wonderful news (ok, not me personally, but through E! Online) that my soon-to-be BFF Jennifer Garner welcomed a boy into her brood! And on Gavin’s birthday no less! See, we are getting closer to a real friendship every day.

Even though it’s not her first child, I want to welcome Jennifer Garner to the wonderful world of mommying a boy. It’s a whole different world than the pretty pink one you’ve been living in my friend. Get used to bruises, toy car crashes and a whole new relationship to urine. Let me tell you, those tiny fire-hoses spray everywhere. During the diaper stage, it’s best to anticipate the projectile pee at every change. Even with those nifty tee-pee things, expect to get a shot or two in the eye.

I know I said I wanted to be a model, but this is not what I had in mind. I need a new agent. Where's Jerry Maguire?

During the potty stage, you know your face will be safe, but that’s all. You will find pee on the seat, over the seat, under the seat, in the bathtub, in the bath toys and on the vanity. Pretty much anywhere in the general vicinity of the bathroom is fair game.

Just be happy I'm actually in the bathroom.

You can also expect your son to love you in a way that a daughter can’t. Your daughters will model you and need your help and guidance, but your son will cherish you and need you purely for love and comfort.

Welcome to the Motherhood of boys Jennifer Garner! I eagerly await the release of your perfectly crafted baby name.

And if it’s Gavin, I may just have cause to have that restraining order reversed (who’s stalking who now?).