craig ferguson

Ever have one of those weeks where things just don't make sense? Just when the relentlessly boozy 'Jersey Shore' season was about to end, Oprah and Rosie O'Donnell started taking tequila shots. Al Roker botched one of his 'Today' colleague's names and Craig Ferguson made fun of his boss' sex scandal. And yesterday's tabloid homewreckers became today's reality show contestants.

Check out our five favorite videos from the week that was and vote for your personal favorite in our weekly poll.

This week, several of our favorite TV clips were infused with political undertones. Betty White prepared to run for the presidency on the double entendre ticket, while Bill O'Reilly wouldn't high five Letterman after admitting he was wrong about the Iraq War. Hank Williams Jr. went on 'The View' to try to explain himself after getting sacked from 'Monday Night Football,' but all that came out was jibberish.

LL Cool J dropped some knowledge in a BET Awards acceptance speech, in what proved to be the high-point of the week for Blackberry. And thankfully, Simon Cowell dumbed it all down by marveling at Wendy Williams' boobs.

Check out the clips after the jump and vote for your favorite in our weekly poll.

'Gossip Girl' (8PM ET, The CW)
Nate must decide whether to cross moral lines at Diana's (guest star Elizabeth Hurley) request. Dan has figured out who is publishing his book and seeks help to stop it, but he ends up in the spotlight anyway. Chuck helps Dan come to terms with his fate, while Dan continues to try to help Chuck break through his emotional block -- bromance alert!

'Five' (9PM ET, Lifetime) special telefilm premiere
An anthology of five short films exploring the impact of breast cancer on people's lives, Five uses humor and drama to focus on the effects breast cancer and its different stages of diagnosis have on relationships and the way women perceive themselves. It's an undeniable tearjerker, but there's enough star-power in this earnest TV movie to light Manhattan: Directed by Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore, Alicia Keys, Penelope Spheeris and Patty Jenkins, the cast includes Patricia Clarkson, Rosario Dawson, Lyndsy Fonseca, Ginnifer Goodwin, Josh Holloway, Taylor Kinney, Jennifer Morrison, Kathy Najimy and Tony Shalhoub, among numerous others.

Ferguson said Spader could end their chat with one of the following: "a mouth organ, awkward pause or go for the big cash prize." After mulling it over for a while Spader opted for the awkward pause -- "I'm good at those."

Then Ferguson upped the ante. "We could add in a subtext if you'd like," he said before announcing that the subtext is: "I find you wickedly attractive and I'm trying to sneak a look at your genitals."

In one of his more famous routines, George Carlin compared football to baseball. Thursday night on 'The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson' (weeknights, 12:35AM on CBS), Ferguson and Tim Meadows compared football and football, or rather, American football and what we call soccer here in the New World.

Ferguson started the show by having Sid, his white rabbit puppet, talk about how he was looking forward to the new football season, especially his favorite team, the Detroit Lions. "This season," he said, "this is the season for us, the Detroit Lions," before laughing and disappearing from the camera view.

There's a hurricane coming -- have you heard? As Irene bears down on the East Coast, our best advice to you is to hunker down and watch these videos. And even if you're not in the storm's path, you probably shouldn't miss these epic TV moments.

This week's Top 5 features Letterman responding to a death threat from a jihadist, Craig Ferguson catching Kal Penn up on pop culture, the epic throwdown between Ronnie and the Situation on 'Jersey Shore,' Ashton Kutcher refusing to tell us how Charlie Harper dies and Danielle Staub and Jake Pavelka yelling at each other.

It's enough to keep us inside for days. Check out the videos after the jump and vote for your favorite in our weekly poll.

Don't blame Craig Ferguson. It's not his fault that physics works the way it does, or that he got an easy set-up from Sharon Osbourne on 'The Talk' (weekdays, syndicated on CBS). Ferguson was on the show talking about his recent trip to Paris for 'The Late, Late Show,' which included a stop at the Moulin Rouge, where Ferguson donned some ugly workout gear to groove with the dancers.

Julie Chen asked if Richard Simmons knew Ferguson stole his look. "I was trying to look as unattractive as possible in a room full of attractive women and it seems to have paid off," said Ferguson. That's when Osbourne noted Ferguson's big feet, highlighted in the clip by his white shoes and black socks. "I have got big feet," he said. "It's because I've got other big things in my body. It's all proportion, Sharon. It's just proportion. If I didn't have big feet, I'd tip over."

On his recent trip to Paris, Craig Ferguson visited with top shoe designer Christian Louboutin, and learned a thing or two about women and shoes. Friday on 'Today' (weekdays, 7AM on NBC), Ferguson shared what he learned with Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb. He also talked about a possible CBS game show and the newly thin version of his old friend Drew Carey.

"He said that when women wear red on the heels of their shoes or the souls of their shoes, it makes them think of wanton sexuality," said Ferguson of Louboutin. "He said it's like sexy underwear. It's like you know it's there even if nobody else does. It's like mmm hmmm. Like the way I'm thinking about my underwear now." That made Gifford curious as to Ferguson's underwear, but he would not provide details. "You don't have to see it," he said, "I just have to know."

In the exclusive video interview below, Samberg, while soaking wet and standing in the ocean, details his experiences as Chief Shark Officer.

"The worst thing about being Chief Shark Officer is that I had to go to the Bahamas! It doesn't smell like whiz or homeless people anywhere here," he joked. "I'm just so homesick. It's going to be so sucky when I have to go back."

Craig Ferguson likes to sit back and laugh at the foibles of his guests on 'The Late Late Show' (Weeknights, 12:35AM ET on CBS). He's been more than open about his own dark past with drugs and alcohol, so he's coming from a place of commiseration with many of their struggles.

But Ferguson has more than just his past to consider, as pointed out beautifully by Lewis Black. Ferguson was ribbing him about still touring in a bus like the Partridge Family, when Black took the joke a step further and indicated he travels with a fetal pig as well.

Ferguson gave him a startled look, and Black went off. "Don't give me a look like I'm nuts," he shouted. "You're talking to a robot. You're drinking out of a snake glass."

Country singer Trace Adkins was on 'The Late Late Show' (Weeknights, 12:37AM ET on CBS) to let Craig Ferguson know about something very important. Well, admittedly it isn't the reason he went on 'The Late Late Show,' but does anyone ever really get to the reason they're on Ferguson's show? It's more about non-sequiturs and just having a good time.

But things got serious when Ferguson mentioned Matthew McConaughey and stumbled over the pronunciation of it.

"Pronounce his name correctly," Adkins warned. "He gets mad if you don't."

You'd think Craig Ferguson would be a bit more excited about a rattlesnake story, considering his rattlesnake mug and snake tattoo. Alas, as Aaron Eckhart learned on 'The Late Late Show' (Weeknights, 12:37AM ET on CBS), the comic can be a bit cynical at times.

He took that cynicism to new heights with Eckhart's story. Let's review the story.

"I was doing a movie in New Mexico. I was running up a slope or something. I bent down to get some breath, and there was a rattlesnake coiling on my foot."

Sounds reasonable, right? There are rattlesnakes in New Mexico. He could have easily disturbed one by running up on it. But that was enough for Ferguson to start calling shenanigans.

Craig Ferguson was trying to be polite throughout Neil Patrick Harris's theatrical tale on 'The Late Late Show' (Weeknights, 12:37AM ET on CBS), but you could tell his interest was waning. Harris was talking about the opportunity he got to see the musical version of 'Beauty and the Beast' before it had even premiered.

"A woman was there smoking a cigarette outside and she said, 'Hey, you want to come in and watch the dress rehearsal?'" Harris said.

"That happens to me outside sex clubs," Ferguson replied, bringing it back into his area of interest. But all he needed to do was be patient, because there was a punchline coming.