This blog is solely written to convey the many thoughts and feelings I, Alicia Marie, experience throughout my day to day life. Along the way, I hope to bring my readers something they can relate to. My purpose is to make people smile, and to cry (tears of joy, that is), and to make them feel like they're not alone in this world.

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Saturday, October 1, 2011

What do you think? AKA: TMI post

So lately strange things have been happening to me. Let me proceed...

I've been having VERY vivid dreams. I've always remembered my dreams, but these top the cake! They're so real that I wake up and feel like my body just went through exactly whatever happened in the dream. For example, last week I had a dream that I was in bed and all the sudden I felt a kick (like a baby kick) on my left side. Now, this "kick" wasn't just a light one, it was a full on pull-your-leg-all-the-way-back and KICK kind. It was a very unpleasant and unexpected one. I remember almost doubling over in my dream from the pain from the kick. I woke up at the point in my dream where I was waking my husband up to tell him that something kicked me (I was quite stunned considering I wasn't even pregnant). When I woke up, I had a horrible pain on my left side exactly where I was kicked in my dream. I've been having dreams of pregnancy the past two weeks, and VERY vivid dreams the past month.

Aside from having dreams of pregnancy, I've been having some pretty weird things happen to my body. *Here comes the TMI part* My girls have decided to grow more the past month and a half than they have the last six years. Seriously. They hurt, they are huge, heavy and veiny (you know, those blue ones--yeah, they're everywhere)

I know I felt a baby move in my belly during a dream, but I swear my mind is pulling a very mean trick on me. There are days, especially the past two weeks, where I will be in bed or sitting down where I will feel movement in my stomach. It started out as flutters (possibly gas) and is now becoming more pronounced. I'm seriously beginning to think that I am pregnant (which would take a miracle) or I have some serious gas problems (or others would think possibly psychological).

My skin is gross! There are patches of skin that are brownish (and I'm a ghost) and they're noticeable (to me at least!). I've never had a problem with breakouts, but lately I can't get rid of them!

Since my Gyno decided to have me skip a month of Provera (and after 70 days of no Aunt Flo) he realized that was a bad idea, i've not had a normal period. It's like almost non-existent. I know Provera is supposed to thin out the lining, but even before on Provera I actually bled. Now it's more of a spotting that I barely notice for 2-3 days (rather than the 'normal' 5).

My hair is growing like crazy. Everywhere. (attractive, huh?!)

There's also more, but I'll leave them out because this list is just freaking me out.

In my previous post I mentioned going to the Gyno again on the 13th. These are all the reasons why! I feel that either I'm pregnant (yes I've taken tests and all have been negative) or something is incredibly wrong in my body, and I need to figure out what it is either way. I honestly don't know what to think.

Any suggestions as to what's going on with me? Alien invasion? I'm just plain crazy? Your suggestion are seriously welcomed.

1 comment:

I wonder if this is your body's reaction because you want to be pregnant so badly? Does that sound crazy?

I was just thinking all of that because after Zeke died, I kept seeing a little boy walking around the house. (I know this makes me sound nuts.) But seriously, my son had just died and I wanted him to live SOOO much. My mind couldn't handle it.

I ended up talking to a few people and the hallucinations went away. I was glad when they did too because seeing him every day was pure torture.

About Me

I'm a 24 years old foster mom to three kiddos ages 3 and under. Not too long ago I felt that I knew what life was going to be like. I would have a full time job, 2 kids, a house, and two dogs. Like most things in life, we do not always get what we dream of, but I can say that I have been given more than I could ever imagine for myself. I'm here to share my experiences--the good, the bad, and the ugly--and in turn I hope to inspire you and bring hope to your life.