I Cannot Go to Church Today

At this point in my life, church has me jacked up——-The role that patriarchy has played in the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and its dominion over the world is indignant and needs to be explored by not only women, but men. If you practice ANY of these religions and have not done the hardy work of understanding how patriarchy has helped in silencing, erasing, and controlling women- this is a call to do just that.

Women complicit in the pain and wounds that patriarchy subjugates on other women are abundant, especially those who participate in these religions (many religious women unintentionally support their own cages). Therefore, we must do this hard work alone, because sadly, folks are too comfortable to make changes that can benefit women.

So, let me speak some truth to the nature of the feminine wisdom. For far too long, women have been made to carry the burden of the Eden Myth. But are you aware that in the earliest of days the serpent was a symbol for that of feminine wisdom and goddesses? Yes, snakes were thought of in relation to the innate divinity that women alone captured. Can you see the beginning of patriarchy unfold, as the writer of Genesis uses Eve and a serpent (her own internal wisdom) to be the fall of man?? Even WAY back then, finding a way to pin sin, death, and darkness on the shoulders of women ultimately leading an entire world view to deem women in need of a man’s guidance. How utterly TERRIFYING, that such a fear of womanly wisdom lingered even then….

Follow me, because of such ideals embedded in “holy” scriptures women have been in roles of submission and servitude for damn near all of modern humanity. When we look to the Bible which was written by Men for Men, we have to look HARD to find the female voice, because it’s almost non-existent. Even our modern hymns and liturgies, prayers, and creeds flow with male pronouns. This is not fair. And yet women are so numb to it, they hardly notice….

But, enter Jesus who was mostly egalitarian by nature. Women chose to even fund his travels. After his death, women were full participants in leading, teaching, guiding all-yes-even men. It stayed that way for close to 200 years. Until Paul’s epistle of 2nd Timothy makes the rounds. It is at this point, based on Paul-a recovering fundamentalist Jew, whose entire world view was wrapped up in women being 2nd class citizens and frequently abused and mistreated, shares in his letter that women should keep silent, neither teach-preach-or lead men. Paul never met Jesus, Paul did not ever see that Jesus had been equal in his treatment of all. And yet we apply his words to our modern day world-view, BACK UP- Paul!

Then on the timeline of Christianity, things get political and ‘Following Jesus’ for women, takes a completely submissive role. From church councils all the way to home worship, women would become the behind the scenes handmaids. I cringe when I read the words the Church Fathers spoke over us… but here we are perpetuating a religion that doesn’t care to even speak kindly about us.

Because of this, most religious women have cut themselves out from the voice of the Divine Feminine. ‘She’ will try to rouse us, shining light on glimpses of patriarchy in our own lives, but we silence her. Often, women don’t go looking for their Voice as they are used to the roles patriarchy has established for them and because it is believed woman should be non-confrontational. Ever noticed how men and women who implore patriarchal roles dislike powerful and vocal women??

There are sleeping women- those who will not even attempt to believe there is anything wrong with or more to the story than what we currently live out. There are those who are tossing and turning, wrestling with the reality that they hold their own worth and wisdom. And there are women who are awake—SCREAMING to let us partake in EVERY TASK that we so desire with BLATANT EQUALITY, we have found our inherent voice and our worth—-the voice of our Feminine Ancestors rattling the very marrow of our bones.

I ask you now to please, please do this work, the work required to dismantle these norms in your own world, not only for yourselves but our children. Sue Monk Kidd once said, “It’s a peculiar thing, isn’t it? How women can prefer the safety of cages to the hazards of freedom.”

Until all can look at women and serpents and think, “Beautiful Goddesses full of the Wisdom of the Ages” and not “lust, temptation, sin, death,” women will forever be in cages.

Thanks for reading, friends. We must STOP allowing religion to pit woman against herself, against her own value, worth, and wisdom. Allow yourself to see it for what it is. And, if you partake in a structure that props up patriarchy as a norm, please invest in extensive research, although it will potentially unravel your world view. This is the work that MUST be done. We cannot settle for comfortable—- we deserve more. We deserve Truth.

💜🖤💜 ***This was written based on the notes I took while reading, Dance of the Dissident Daughter, by Sue Monk Kidd—— required reading, Friends.

Published by stacyeliz

Writer. I write to discover who I am. 📓Enneagram 4/sx, 🖤 (wallowing in my self-induced darkness is where it’s at, yall🎉) Gemini♊️ Lover of Humans, especially those that I created. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Rebuilding after deconstructing from fundamentalist Christianity. ☯️Lover of paganism, pantheism, Quakerism, the Divine Feminine, and the Stars.🔮💎 Depending on the day and moon cycles, I’m landing somewhere between atheism, agnosticism, and universalism with faeries and gnomes. 🍄🧚🏼‍♀️Reader of all the things.📚 Avid Skeptic and Questioner without solid answers. 🔍Homeschool/public school enthusiast, former public school teacher, current homeschooling mom✏️Unapologetic 🏳️‍🌈 Ally. She/her pronouns. 💜Believer of Science. 🧬Wife of a damn fine man, damn it-the boy is FINE. ♋️🤣Grateful to be here for my moment on the timeline of life. 🌳
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11 thoughts on “I Cannot Go to Church Today”

“It’s a peculiar thing, isn’t it? How women can prefer the safety of cages to the hazards of freedom.” Wise words from Sue Monk Kidd. It’s this attitude that pits women against each other and preserves the status quo.
Thanks for the recommendation.

I’m thinking what your thinking. It simply amazes me the level of buy-in by women. God (the writers) remind me of the great apes. The entire hierarchy is about food, territory, and sex. Controlling breeding IS the crux of Christian morality. We’re not to far from our roots, even though we’ve traveled far…

It tend to think at least some of the patriarchal values in the Bible were already present at the time and thus is not really the religion’s fault at least at the outset. The creation story of Adam and Eve is damning enough to women, and came a long time before Jesus’ time. But you make a good point about how Jesus was fairly egalitarian. I see similar shades to the Sikh religion which also preached gender equality. Unfortunately it’s hard to overcome the culture one is already in, and Sikhism still suffers from some serious gender inequality, but it’s a lot better than Hinduism or Islam. Either way, this shit has been going on for far too long, and I completely agree that Judeo-Christian religions have encoded that gender oppression to such a degree that very little progress in women’s right was made for well over a millennia…in fact it likely got worse in many places where Christianity spread.

There is a series of videos on YouTube by QualiaSoup that do a wonderful job of challenging religious arguments. My favorite is a video called Good without Gods. In it the narrator talks about 6 criteria we use to base morality, which has nothing to do with the divine.

In the segment starting at 4:55 the narrator talks about a society where women are purposely kept uneducated. Of course we have those, and such societies have existed to an even greater extent in our past. The video makes the point that “People kept purposely uneducated can be reasonably said to have diminished capacity for informed consent”. And that even if women were to agree to oppression, this is a cause for more concern, not less. The extent of the oppression of women is so deep, so deeply embedded scripture, and been happening for such a long time that there are, as you say, many women in cages of their own making. I don’t know if you’ve been watching A Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu, but the character Serena Joy is very much a good example of this.

Anyway, I’m sorry I just launch it to things, without the positive feedback first. lol It was an extremely well written and important post. Thank you indeed for sharing your thoughts on this.

Hallelujah! A raised voice for women! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for this post. It is also worth noting that back in that arid desert under those strange and terrifying skies the angels met with WOMEN! Yes, women. Not men. Gabriel was a frequent visitor to Miriam Bat Boaz the mother of Jesus and Gabriel spoke to Sariah and Martha. And it was the two Marys who first saw Jesus in spirit. Women have a connection with Otherworld that men mostly do not have and we have been so stifled and hobbled by jealousy that we no longer dare to speak up and defend an intimacy with the Unseen world for fear of ridicule, blasphemy and non-acceptance in the arid bland world of patriarchal REALITY! There is an intuitive flow lost in the mumbling and fumbling of ritual prayer and dogmatic beliefs that have turned the river of the soul to stone. I abandoned religion years ago and speak to my better angels in forests, department stores, busy streets, under moon and sun and stars and I meet them in the hallowed halls of my inner temple where no man treads.

Teach me your ways!! Lol, but seriously! I’m desperate to call upon the wisdom of my ancestors, even if many call it “wonky.” I have this theory that our DNA remembers. Deep down at cellular levels, there are stories and lessons to behold. I just need to figure out how to tap into them! 🖤💜🖤 thank you for reading 🙏🏻