Extrovert: We Just Love being Around people, Not Attention Seeking!

There is no denying that each person on this planet is unique. It is hard to put such unique individuals into categories, but despite that fact, there are some personality traits that can roughly put people into certain categories. One of the most well-known categorizations says people can be an introvert, extrovert or ambivert.

Introverted people are those who seek solitude and isolation, and rarely participate in social activities. They avoid large groups of people and prefer to spend time with their thought. On the other hand, extroverts are those people who you see in the spotlight of every social event. They are outgoing, like to interact with other people, and are often good leaders. Ambiverts will sometimes display introverted characteristics, and sometimes display extroverted characteristics.

What are extroverts like?

As mentioned, extroverts like to socialize, meet new people and talk to them. So how do you know if someone is extrovert?

Extroverts love to talk

You have probably noticed those people who always break the awkward silence at parties, or spend their time circling around and talking to as many people as they can. Or in a bus, supermarket, or any other public place for that matter, starting conversation with total strangers. They just love to talk. They can talk with anyone about almost anything. They are eager to meet new people and find out everything about them.

Extroverts feel energized when they are around people

Unlike introverts, extroverts don’t enjoy being alone – being around people boosts their energy. If they are given the choice to stay at home on a Friday night, or go out to a pub, for example, they would always choose to be among people, even if they are tired or have had a difficult day. Staying home alone is not how they charge their batteries and find inspiration. Throw them in a large group of people and they will feel as if they have had a large cup of coffee.

Extroverts need to talk about their feelings

Introverts prefer to sort out their feelings in silence, on their own, whereas extroverts feel better if they discuss their problems and feelings with someone. If they have had some problems at work, or in a relationship, what makes them feel better is if they share their concerns with others.

Extroverts have many interests

Extroverts love dynamic surroundings and they tend to constantly seek for new experiences, and thus they develop many new interests. As they love interacting with people and learning about them, they hear a lot of new information and so they get interested in trying new things.

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Extroverts are very open to people

People find extroverts friendly and approachable as they don’t shy away from sharing how they feel or what they think about a certain subject. They don’t tend to think a lot about what they are going to say, or take the time to organize their thoughts before they speak – they just blurt out everything that comes to their mind.

Extroverts enjoy being the center of attention

Extroverts don’t have a problem with speaking in public, actually, they love it! When all eyes are on them – that’s their moment to shine. They are the ones who tell all the best jokes at parties, or gather groups of people around them to admire their stories. They are not afraid to step onto the dance floor and show all their dance moves.

Misconceptions we have for extroverts.

Even though they are outgoing and always try to make people laugh, they also have their share of struggles.

Extroverts are not 100% confident all the time

People tend to perceive extroverts as super confident as they have no problem with speaking to strangers or in front of a large group of strangers. As every other person, extroverts have their self doubts from time to time. They just come off as so confident about their skills that it’s hard for other people to imagine they have insecurities, but they actually do.

Extroverts can be depressed and sad too

Extroverts draw their energy when they are around people and thus always seem to be in a good mood when you see them at social gatherings. However, they also feel sad or depressed if they don’t get their daily dose of interaction with others.

Extroverts are outgoing but they need alone time too

Yes, extroverts also need their alone time. From time to time, they just need to read a book, watch a movie on their own, or put on their headphones, listen to music and not talk to anyone. The thing is that their need to be alone doesn’t last as long as with introverts, for example.

Making friends can be hard for extroverts too

Just because it is easy for extroverts to start a conversation with just about anyone, it doesn’t mean they have tons of friends. Sometimes, other people might find it off-putting when someone talks a lot, so it can be equally hard for extroverts to connect with people as it is for anyone else.

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Extroverts will feel lonely too

Even if extroverts are surrounded by tons of friends, it is not necessarily the case that they are best friends with all of them. They like to be around people, but that doesn’t mean all the people around them really know or understand them. That’s the feeling everybody, even extroverts, can relate to – that some days no one can get what you are going through and you feel so lonely.

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Extroverts are not obsessed with themselves

It is true that extroverts like to be the center of attention, but that doesn’t qualify them as narcissists – it’s just their way of expressing themselves. Their need for attention might seem selfish but they are actually trying to make people around them feel better.

What you need to know if you are in love with an extrovert?

1. They love real-life social interactions

Instead of wasting their time in front of screens, extroverts prefer talking to people face to face, so don’t expect them to text a lot. Instead of hanging out in the virtual world, they will expect you to spend time together going to restaurants, cinema or just walking in the park.

2. They love to talk, but they also love to listen

Extroverts enjoy a good talk, but they don’t enjoy one way conversation. They like to interact, which means they will listen to you carefully as they expect your feedback or reaction.

3. Extroverts like to be in the spotlight, but that doesn’t make them egoists

Extroverts love attention and don’t shy away from it. They love when you pamper them, but that doesn’t mean they are selfish. They will also do anything they can to make you feel good.

4. They can get bored easily

If you are in love with an extrovert, you need to be open to trying new things or picking up new hobbies. They are always looking for new things to keep them energized, so you will need to keep up with their pace.

5. Extroverts are not close to everyone

Even though they like interacting with people, they don’t manage to develop close relationships with all of those people. They are sociable, but of course there are people whose company extroverts do not find pleasant.

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6. Extroverts can feel hurt too

Communicating with a lot of people gives extroverts the ability to filter out the unnecessary information, thus making it look like they are insensitive to other people’s emotions. However, as every human being, extroverts can be deeply hurt too, especially by the people they care about.

7. They want instant gratification

Being the people of action, extroverts are impatient when it comes to getting their reward. They would always rather choose to spend their money on something that will make them happy instantly, instead of saving the money for a bigger treat later on.

8. They don’t need to be with their loved ones all the time

Even though they enjoy spending time with their significant other, they love spending time with other people too. If you don’t feel like going out, they won’t feel the need to be clingy and force you to go with them. It’s fine by them if you stay at home, but don’t expect them to stay too. They need to charge their batteries by interacting with other people too.

9. Extroverts read too

There is a misconception that extroverts are shallow as they prefer spending time with people and making small talk. Loving to be around people doesn’t in any way interfere with their desire to read or educate themselves.

10. They are flexible

Extroverts can easily adapt to any changes in plans, and they are also willing to reach a compromise in what activities you should do as a couple.

What you need to know when working with an extrovert?

1. They like to discuss solutions to problems

Extroverts like to brainstorm and discuss how to solve problems at work. Give them space to express their ideas and they might come up with creative solutions.

2. They like to be praised

Extroverts like to receive feedback and they can be more productive if they see their efforts are appreciated. They will feel more stimulated if they are praised for their good work.

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3. They are good at interacting with people

Extroverts are very skilled in communicating with people and they will be highly effective when interacting with clients or presenting in front of a group of people.

4. They understand body language well

Extroverts are good at reading non-verbal clues, so you need to be well aware of your posture or tone of voice when talking with them, as they will notice everything.

5. Be aware of their energy

If extroverts spend some time working alone in the office, they will feel the need to socialize in order to feel energized again. It is important to give them the opportunity to re-energize, such as going on a short coffee break with them.

Oftentimes, people can’t be exactly categorized as extreme introverts or extroverts, as they can display some behavior characteristic to both of these groups. Being an extrovert doesn’t mean you are better than an introvert – no one can say that one personality type is better than the other. Everyone has their good and bad sides. Yet, if you get an understanding as to why people behave in a certain way, you will be able to have better relationships.

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

What if I took a chance on myself?

Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?

Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?

What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.