I sat musing as the world passed by…

Main menu

Post navigation

Kamina Mahina

For those of you whose Hindi is as deplorable as Sonia Gandhi’s, Kamina is Rascal and Mahina is Month, so the post title is – Rascal Month.

Now to understand what I am about to narrate, you absolutely have to see this song.

*Warning – Make sure there are no children around because they will start asking unnecessary questions like why Uncle and Aunty are not kissing each other instead of dancing like a bear and a baby elephant. Yes, that is exactly what they ask. Behold the Hashmi Generation!

Now, if you were able to endure the video till the end, let me congratulate you because you have the GQ (Gyration quotient) of 250. There is a high possibility that you are a product of the 90s when such bouncing breasts and swaying posterior exercises were the bread and butter of an army of choreographers.

The year was 1994. I was 15, high on Shilpa Shirodkar’s assets (yes, the actress in the video). She used to turn me on every time she jumped on that window and shillyshally-ed her tush. Akshay Kumar used to be hairy during those days. He was trying to take over Anil Kapoor but his growth was not even 10% of the minimum required KL (Kapoor Limit) because you could still see his body parts other than his head. To reach KL, it was mandatory to look like a head floating in air in a dark room. Back to Shilpa Shirodkar. There was something very seductive in her moves. Although now when I see the song, I wonder how the house was able to stand the earthquake she unleashed or how Akshay did not end up with multiple fractures.

The incident happened in the summer of 94. One of our neighbours left her three year old daughter, Kittu, in our house for a few hours. I played with Kittu. I really tried. I banged her balloon on her head, beheaded her doll, squeezed the doll to produce a sound from the whistle in her foot, asked Kittu to go on and eat her doll’s hair and stuff like that. Seeing me so lovingly take care of the little girl, mom went to take a bath after a while. I was dead bored playing with a girl 5 times younger to me and thus switched on the television. After flipping through a few channels, I came across Shilpa trampling Akshay and decided to enjoy the song. I had no idea that Kittu will be absorbing the spectacle like a sponge.

To my utter respite, Kittu’s mother arrived in the evening. As she plonked on the sofa, Kittu ran towards her. She suddenly stopped a foot away from her mother, took the corner of her skirt between her tiny fingers and to my horror, started singing the song she had so silently watched.

“Mast mahina bada kamina, rimzzzzim hai barrrrrrrrrsaat

Kamina kamina bada zzzza mahina”

My eyes popped out and bounced on the floor. I turned into water and splashed on the ground. The Earth cracked open and I was going in. Mom looked at me and narrowed her eyes to invisible slits. Kittu’s mother was speechless. I could hear her scream in her mind – Hai! Hai! What have the Sharmas done to my daughter? This is what they teach their children?

“Ye tu kya ga rahi hai?!?! (What the hell are you singing?),” she asked Kittu when she was able to get back her voice.

But Kittu was somewhere else. She was rotating holding her skirt and kept singing – “Kamina Kamina, bada zzzza mahina!” She was in a trance, stuck in the song and refused to come out of it. Aunty finally picked up a rotating Kittu and left.

Now when I think about it, it was such a different world back then. Now parents allow their children to dance to all sort of raunchy numbers and ‘Kamina Mahina’ sounds like a nursery rhyme. I also realized that children have an immense observation power. They might be sitting harmlessly in a corner but that brain of theirs is always working like an intrinsic clock. Parents who take their children to Adults only movies have no idea what they are subjecting their children to and you can find plenty of such brainless parents in India.

Unfortunately, my mother had a similar realisation that her son was being subjected to too much of Shilpas and Mamta Kulkarnis and she started keeping an eye on me. My dates with Shilpa were over.

Kittu, wherever you are right now, I forgive you with all my heart.

p.s. Akshay Kumar plays a very unique mutant in the movie. His body produces vests. Watch closely as Shilpa dances around him. He takes off his shirt, then the vest. Shilpa hangs on a semi-naked Akshay like a monkey on a branch of a tree. Then he wears his shirt again (no vest this time). After some time, he takes off his shirt again (!!!), and viola! He is wearing a vest beneath it. So there. Mutant theory hence proved.

This was one of the most embarrasing moments of my life and my bus driver keeps reminding me of it by playing this song and all its cousins. 🙂
I have seen kids in cinema halls while watching ‘The Dirty Picture’, ‘Delhi Belly’ and ‘Raaz 3’. All 3 were Adults only movie. And more surprising is the fact that how did the cinema hall authorities allowed that? Anything for money?

😆 😆 @ the mutant theory.
I have to agree with you that kids understand much more than what we think they do or give them credit for.
It must have been one of most embarrassing moments of your life to see little Kittu sing sucha song that too after you baby-sitting her.

Thanks My Era.
Exactly and that is why I think that the parents who take children with them to Adults only movies thinking that the child won’t understand a thing are big fools.
Oh yes! Her mother never let me come withing a radium of 5 kms around Kittu after the incident. 😦

Rofllllll…..while I was reading this on my mobile and kept laughing, my son watching something next to me asks, amma y r u laughing? I say you donno, then he asks oh tell me, immersed in reading I reply, some adult joke, u donno…then I realise what i told, bit my tongue and say, ah no some silly joke….lolol…he says, tell me if it’s a silly joke….hahhaahs….btw, I belong to the 90s…I remember one raunchy number…for some reason unknown, I loved that song…dood ban jayoongi, malai ban jayoogi…:p

Adult joke? 😀 Well, you certainly raised his curiosity there.
There were thousands of such numbers. No wonder, the present middle aged generation who is a product of the 90s is so screwed up!
Dood ban jaungi was sung by the legendary Asha Bhonsle. It was a classic. 😛
Here are some of my other favourites –
1. In the night no control
2. Chamak cham chamke angoori badan
3. Lotan kabutar
4. Batti na bujha, mujhe lagta hai dar
5. Bharo, mang meri bharo
Sigh! Good old sexy days!

Haha! The girl is trying to say that she is afraid of having sex with the guy. Since she is a virgin and never had sex before, she is scared that he will turn off the lights and pound on her. 🙂 That is why she is asking him not to turn off the lights.

Thanks Anonymously Disguised!
My parents had a very hard time distracting me. They had no idea how to get rid of all the flesh show on the TV. Compared to today, those were saintly days.
My brain stores loads of such songs. Infact, I have a playlist on youTube of all such songs. Geet and I used to listen to them when we were in a mood of a good laugh. 🙂

😀 I couldn’t stop laughing while reading the post. Hmmm 90s.That was a different era. Sometimes I can’t believe that we watched and LOVED those movies. The designers do get as much credit as the choreographers. Now I can’t believe people actually wore that kinda stuff .

Amit, I split my sides -you know which- laughing the hell out of me! It has got to be one of the best situational humours i have read of late. And hey, I’d have dropped dead had I been in Akshay Kumar’s shoes. Five Hundred Stars!

OMG!!! Where did you dig this up from?? I don’t remember having seen this song at all !!

Baby elephant is a good description! 😛 😛 No wait, scratch that. A baby elephant is far cuter and easier on the eyes, ears…and…er… floor! 😛 🙄

I am a product of the 80s and I have seen similar songs in the 90s, and it took all my patience to sit through just the first half of the song. I fast forwarded the second half 😛

My eyes popped out and bounced on the floor.
Hahahah! 😆 Wateh description! 😛 😛 Just like in The Mask eh??

I also realized that children have an immense observation power. They might be sitting harmlessly in a corner but that brain of theirs is always working like an intrinsic clock. Parents who take their children to Adults only movies have no idea what they are subjecting their children to and you can find plenty of such brainless parents in India.
So true 😦 You wonder what the hell they were thinking. Actually, they weren’t thinking at all I guess…

Dig?!?!? That song is a part of the most embarrasing moment of my life. 🙂
It is always at the back of my mind.
Did you see the part where she is drenched in rain and dancing? She looks like a torpedo out of a submarine.
Yes, they are not thinking. They are idiots who do not deserve to be parents.

Yes I wrote that first sentence after seeing the video but before I read the entire post. I stand corrected. You would have no trouble remembering this song, I’m sure.
😀 😀
Oh BTW…. you monster!! You corrupted that poor 3 year old girl !! I m sure her mom must have thought a lot of of fancy words about you, eh! 😛

I am sure she must have. And it was because of her reaction that mom started keeping an extra eye on me.
If this would have happened today, she would have thanked me for preparing her daughter for Indial Idol.

TGND,
On a serious note, I think her mother took me to be a potential future rapist. She never allowed Kittu around me. I go red in the face everytime I think about it.
Those were such innocent times. Mamta Kulkarni was considered scandelous. The poor woman hardly did anything other than gyrating!
What!!! You haven’t heard of this classic?
I have a playlist of such songs on youTube. I listen to them when I want to feel nostalgic.

Come to think of it, this was during our teens, 20 years back, I feel so archaic. Shilpa’s gyrations now look so juvenile and out of sync compared to what is dished out these days. Wonder what it would be like another 20 years down the road?

Hopefully, 20 years down the line, all the item numbers will enter the Indian Cinema hall of fame to be culturally significant for producing deranged citizens. Hopefully, someone will come along and ban them for the safety of our women and to increase the IQ of men.

1. I cant open that video for some reason 😦
2. I can though, imagine a Shilpa Shirodkar
3. Why would your neighbour leave a 3 year old at your place when she knew the baby had no company but a 15 year old…I mean seriously, I have never met a 15 year old who can entertain a 3 year old..saachimein and me included hehe 🙂
4. You are so right about today’s parents…I must admit shamefacedly that the brat who is 4 knows her sheila ki jawanis and munni badnams…thankfully only by audio..the video is not yet on for that 🙂

and lastly, I wish I had that memory R has for all the wrong things in life…I would have been a multimillionaire by then!

Go home and watch it. You will love it. Believe me! 🙂
You cannot imagine a Shilpa Shirodkar. 😐
I think my neighbour had some work and she was in a hurry. She actually left Kittu with mom. I was the casuality.
Yes, Yes. Kids have such great memories. I recently got a taste of it when sis-in-law came in July with her sons. The 2 year old knew how to operate an Iphone. Scared the living shit out of me.

You kept your head down? You were such a simple child. 😛
Oh yes, the world has changed. Kids grow up too quickly nowadays. They get mature for their age.
I think I am all right with kids dancing to such numbers but it does introduce an element of adulthood in their overall psyche. They are saying words and making gestures which they are not meant to say or make at such an age. Guess I am old fashioned in that respect. 🙂

It proves education has nothing to do with brains! I agree that children should be told about sex when ‘they ask about it’ and not by forcefully subjecting them to Adults only movie. And isn’t 5 years too young an age to explain children about sex? They can’t even spell sex at that age. And how do the cinema halls allow that? Stupid crazy people.

Do you know the theatre people are really worried about people taking kids of the A rated movie.But most of the times the parents standing in front of me at the counter argue with the theatre guys out there about the restriction.They would say if they don’t have any problems taking the kids inside why should the theatre people bother.

Just watch the video with sounds off, and read the English lines along ! bet you will FFTC ( fall from the chair) & ROFL.
Talk to me about children’s observation power ! My nephew & cousin sister who are 7 & 8 yrs old now, gave us such embarrassing moments right when they were 3 – 4 yrs old. They would be just playing in the living room, when we would be chatting in the kitchen and just one passing comment we had made, which we would have forgotten immediately, would be registered in their mind such a way that we would get to hear it in the weirdest occasion months later. And what more, when asked where they got it from , they would remind us the exact situation when we made the comment.
Now my 11 mth old has started imitating us, we should watch our every move and every word.
Great post Amit.

I was actually thinking of adding a p.p.s. at the end of the post about watching the song on mute. Yes, it is amazing. Sheer bliss. 🙂
Bringing up kids is like walking on fire, isn’t it? 🙂 God save me from future disasters!
Thanks Seena. 🙂

Funny account! Did you try to babysit Kittu after that incident? I think kids of this age group grasp the saste gaane too fast! My landlord’s 4-5 yr old grand daughter Aanya was singing Halkat Jawani loudly where the other lyrics were blabbering but the aforementioned two words were loud & clear. Surprisingly her parents or grand parents seemed to be happy/nonchalant about it! I remember when I as a child hummed choli ke peechhey kya hai my mother reprimanded me so much for singing this “obnoxious” song that till date I think twice about singing this or other cheap songs in front of her!

LOL at the vest production 🙂 Movies around that time were atrocious!! I remember we did not watch Bollywood movies for many years and this was the time when Tezab, Coolie and the one above etc were being made – started watching again when thanks to the Multiplexes they started making movies like HAHK, DDLJ (though I now have lots to say about these two), Dil Chahta Hai, Tare Zameen par, English Vinglish etc.
But maybe years from now, these movies would be seen as classic signs of our times

Yes, I agree. A lot of movies during the 80s and the 90s were utter crap. It was only after HAHK that things started changing. But then, the cable TV invasion had just happened and people were wide eyed after seeing so many movies on television. I guess that was the only reason all those songs seeped into our houses.

If you remember the song “Sexy, sexy, sexy mujhe log bole” attracted a lot of controversy and they actually came out with another version: “baby, baby, baby mujhe log bole” to make it “socially acceptable”. “Choli ke peeche kya hai” was talked about with disgust (that the catchy tune eventually won is a different story). What an era it was! Little did we know only years later we’d hear little kids singing ‘I am a Hunter’, ‘Bhaag DK Bose’ and ‘Sheila ki Jawaani’ and ‘Munni badnaam Hui’.
I have always hated hearing the expression “hamare time pe toh…” but alas I end up saying that when I see my almost-just-born cousins reciting such songs enthusiastically. I have stopped asking them which is the last book they read for the fear of hearing “50 shades of Grey” as reply!

Oh yes. I remember it perfectly. ‘Sexy’ was a bad word back then. It is just mindboggling to think how much things have changed in just 15 years. Even ‘Aa AA E’ from Raja Babu was scandelous with all those saree steps.
’50 shades of grey’ is optimistic. I fear to hear ‘5 point someone’.

Lol..this cracked me up like Friends do!! 🙂
Poor kittu but we all have our embarrassing moments around kids. And I remember watching all these songs without knowing the double meanings. I used to wonder whether the artificial rain water is hot or cold and if its cold then how come they don’t sneeze..aaah such pure thoughts! 🙂
And kids should be feared for their observation power! I remember hubby and I were watching this English movie some months back.. We thought it was a clean movie and suddenly this sex scene comes up. Before we can switch it off, kiddo has already seen it. Then he turns around and tells me, that the aunty on screen is hurt and that is why she is moaning loudly! I wish I were invisible then! 🙂

And I used to think that it must be so uncomfortable to wear all those heavy clothes and sing and dance. 🙂
I too remember one incident when someone recommended Mel Gibson’s Braveheart to me when I was in school. I foolishly sat with my family to watch the movie on Star Movies and convinced them that it was very good. And then came the kissing scene. My father promptly changed the channel and that was the end of Braveheart. It was years later when I actually saw the whole movie. 🙂

OMG! I laughed louder and louder and I couldn’t want the full song. But, yes songs in those days were so raunchy. And Shilpas, Mamtas, Raveenas, Karismas did their gyrating routines. I did not even understand the double meanings about khatiyas etc. We were so naive. Today’s kids know everything. And, this situation for you must be the baap of all embarrassments. This was a delightful post :). And, how did you find this song? I never seem to have heard this.

It took me a while too to understand about all the double meanings. The songs of the 90s were full of them. 🙂
Haha! Yes, I was completely embarrased. Although I have done more embarrasing things later, but yes, this incident was significant at that point of time.
This song has stayed with me ever since this incident happened. So, it was a cakewalk to find it on youTube. 🙂
Thanks Rachna.

hehehehehehe – this was so so hilarious!
I don’t know who Shilpa Shirodkar is and I don’t want to google her on a hospital computer now. It’s a shame, I was not into movies much until DTPH happened during high school.But I would listen to all the songs I could on DD1 and that explains why I don’t know so many. Sigh!
All those bloopers – and they call it oomph, more like the hmmmmf factor 😛
I so am watching this song on my way back home.

//I don’t know who Shilpa Shirodkar is
*Gasps and faints*
Go home and google her. Better find her on youTube. She was one of the most happening actresses of the 80s and the 90s. 🙂
Me too. DTPH was my first movie in a cinema hall. But I was always glued to the cable television for the rest of the updates. 🙂

Youtube is blocked in office now..cant view the video…am bookmarking this page to see this video later 😀

Songs during the 90s were so raunchy, wonder no one took offense at that time.

Arrey kids are so impressionable. My niece has started asking about the ‘love’ between the actors..is the hero in love with the heroine…now the hero will sing for her no..etc….leaving all of us hapless 😦

I watched the video now. I cant thank you enough for sharing this here. Total ROFL material. Am wondering who was the choreographer of the song? It sure must take lot of energy to jump up and down like that. But come to think of it, most of the songs of that time were like this one.

You are most welcome! 🙂
I remember Chinni Prakash and his wife as the choreographers of a lot of songs during that time. If you see the hero, heroine and the dancers doing shocking pelvic thrusts, there is a 99% chance that it was done by Chinni Ji.
There is another Shilpa song in Aankhain with Govinda. It goes – Angna main baba duare pe Maa. Must see! 🙂

Good one. Look at the brighter side..this embarrassing got you blacklisted as a baby sitter and your journey in software began. Also every generation is embarrassed by the movies it had enjoyed in its teens..with some exceptions of course.

Yes, I agree. That was the end of my baby sitting career.
Are you sure about this? I believed that only the generation who grew up watching the movies in the 80s and the 90s are embarrased by what they were subjected to. My parents have always been very nostalgic about the movies they saw as teenagers. But then, yes, they might be the exceptions.

Lol. We had dinner with some family who have a 3 year old recently. Apparently his favourite song for the last year had been ‘Sheila ki javani’. They old us to ask him what his name was.. his answer: ‘ Sheila’.

I also recently happened to watch an old mithun song called ‘chadd gaya upar re.. atariya main something kabootar re.. gootar goo’. I was totally weirded out! I cannot look Mithun in the eye now.

Wow! They were fine with the boy calling himself Sheila?!?
Oh yes! Lotan Kabutar! My absolute favourite!
I don’t know the name of the movie but there was this song with Ashwini Bhave in it , which went – Dole re manwa dole, jab kissi ki khatia bole, Chu Chu Chu Chu Chu Chu. LOL! God! What days!

OMG! That sounds totally hilarious and gross. I’m going to have to look it up. And yes, sheila’s parents thought it was very amusing. Apparently they could get him to do anything he wanted as long as they put the song on. Now who wouldn’t like that!

Haha! Too funny! When she climbed on the window grills I almost fell off my seat. My Hindi is atrocious so even now I don’t understand the hidden meanings. But I am going to go watch all the videos mentioned in the comments now and try lol.

I thought that the window will dislodge and Shilpa will fall on poor Akshay with the whole grill in her hands. It was an I-stopped-breathing moment.
Yes, yes do watch. You might find a few of them with English subtitles.

lol; seriously were you that high on shilpa shirodkar ???/ you know what really got me in splits other than the mutant theory, the ” I forgive you kittu” line. gee if and when kittu reads this she must surely be laughing her guts out ! Even I agree with you that the parents must be brainless to tag their kids along for shit movies.

Amit, stumbled upon your wacky musings from a fellow blogger, I Lol’d as I read through the post. I remember being caught the same way, when I was watching a late night “cable tv channel” , I think I was in grade 10… And my mom shouted at me – like my brain had lost its virginity. Lol!

I am not happy at all with the translation of the song. They haven’t used the words ‘Rascal month’ at all. Sometimes, you just cannot handle the nuances of a language in translations but this one could have been much better.
Go, Kittu? Come on! She almost got me killed that day.

ahahahahha!! That was an awful, entertaining, ROFL song sequence! Eeks…Shilpa is so huge!! You’re right about the baby elephant, although I would have said, ‘beached whale!! I remember all the raunchy numbers of the 90s! The one that I was truly embarrassed to hear and see was a Rambha number, “mirchi kamaal kar gayi, dhoti ko phadke rumal ban gayi’ or something like that!!

Thanks Roshni! 🙂
We all have called poor Shilpa so many things that she might cry if she ever happen to read my post and then come and sit on me. Ok, I need to stop. 😀
I think the best one was ‘Doodh ban jaungi malai ban jaungi’. Smashing and very very creative.

Just a few months ago, kids were singing ‘I’m too sexy for you, main tere paas na aani…’… lol!!
The good thing is… this generation will be watching the likes of Bold and Beautiful without hiding it from their parents 😉

Oh yes. I don’t know if it is just me but I hate the sight of little girls dancing to Munni badnaam hui. Call me old fashioned but I find it gross.
I agree. You should not try to curb your child when he/she is sexually active. Give him a direction, an advice but don’t restrict him. But then that is a different issue. 🙂

Absolutely hilarious! I like the way you took the post from sharing a really funny story to talking about the present situation of how ‘cool’ parents are about what their kids watch and even worse, perform!

I remember watching a movie OOPs it was about male strippers first of its kind in hindi.the moment men were shown parents left the theatre with their kids.I have seen same parents letting their kids sit thru out rape scene ,eveteasing or items nmbers without budging…thats how our society with welcultured children are born..
Parents have different stds for how to percieve A rating.

I have seen parents take their children to A rated movies. They leave them in the cinema hall to play and disturb others. Saves all that money for leaving them in play area as well. Some people just don’t deserve to be parents.
Well, thanks for liking the post. 🙂

i remember one incident when we were young and there was a non filmi song (as they said in those days) JALWA (remix version) .. you remember the final ending of the song where a girl in the bikni is thrown up in air in the club and the song ends .. lemme tell you the incident .. evening time, neighbours in the house during evening snaks, i was browsing tv to watch some good program and suddenly the remote battery were dead and (sone pe suhaaga) the screen got stuck at that bikni girl in the song .. no further clip…no next song…only the bikni girl onscreen gave a look as if we got that pic framed on our tv … my mom was so embarrassed ..she went out and turned tv off from the main switch of the house 😛

Thanks Rahul. 🙂
LOL at your incident. Well, we have all gone through such embarrasing incidents, haven’t we. I have a few more too but they are so terribly embarrasing that I cannot write them on my blog. 🙂