Petersburg Channel Five Threatens Europe with Invasion

Journalists at Petersburg Channel Five have endorsed the idea of a number of western leaders of moving the WWII Victory Parade to Poland.

In her program, TV presenter Nika Strizhak said that Russian tanks could easily reach not only Warsaw but also Washington.

According to the broadcast segment, it is only 1,300 kilometers from Moscow to Warsaw, so the T-90 tank could enter the suburbs in less than twenty-four hours. During this time, airborne troops, who need only two hours for redeployment, would be able to rehearse the parade, rest, iron their parade uniforms, and cook a festive meal of buckwheat porridge and stewed meat.

The TV journalists also reminded viewers that it is only 1,800 kilometers to Berlin: “For a modern army, that is no distance, all the more so because many Russian officers know their way around the city.” Well, and Prague, Helsinki, and Vilnius are all very close, so the Russian Army could go there on foot, the journalists added.

Channel Five also pondered more distant routes, such as London and Washington.

“Planning for them would have to be done well in advance, and here one cannot do without the air force and navy. But there is still time, and applications are being accepted,” it says in the segment.