As you may have heard by now, Florida State QB Jameis Winston was busted for stealing $32.72 in crab legs from a Publix supermarket in Florida. It was an embarrassing moment for Winston for sure, but one would think that compared to the far more serious sexual assault allegations against Winston, it would be a mere footnote in terms of assessing his character.

Not for NFL executives. No, the rape charge was apparently water under the bridge, but stealing crab legs? THIS TIME YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR! According to this Bleacher Report piece, an anonymous NFL executive went on the record saying the following:

“When I heard about this, I was stunned. He was the top overall pick next year. Was. Not any more. This latest thing shows a continuation of bad judgment. I don’t trust him, and I can tell you very few teams in the NFL will trust him.”

So, let me get this straight: when a player was accused of rape, and only got off the hook because the ridiculously incompetent cops working the case did everything they could to screw things up, and assure Florida State’s Heisman winning meal ticket wouldn’t get in trouble, you had no moral qualm with taking him #1 overall. But when he steals a few crab legs, you’re off the Winston bandwagon? Fuck you.

Another scout: “We’re talent whores. But we’re not total whores. It’s almost impossible, at this point, to trust Winston.”

Again, you trusted him when the rape accusation came out, but crab legs pushed you over the edge? Fuck you, too. Also, maybe not the best time to use the word “whores.”

Shit like this is what feminists mean when they use the phrase “rape culture.” NFL scouts are all-too-willing to write off a sexual assault saying “Oh, she was probably just after his money,” or “Well, we’re never going to prove anything, anyway.” And no, we probably won’t ever fully know what happened that night, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore it, or presume complete innocence on Winston’s part, either. But that seems to be what’s going on here. The fact that NFL executives had no problem taking an accused rapist at #1, but are balking at using a draft pick on a crab leg bandit is a huge fucking problem. It illustrates that we still in a really fucking misogynist society that doesn’t trust women and is all-too-quick to brush off the words of rape victims when it might ruin our good time.

I can’t wait for Peter King to interrupt his column the week of the 2014 draft to use anonymous GM quotes to speculate about the effect this will have on the 2015 draft and the 2,657 useless words he’ll dedicate to CrabLegGate.

Actually, the outrage stems from the fact that these are blue-collar, lunchpail, “Old Testament” kind of guys. And as we all know, Deuteronomy is a bit fuzzy on the specifics when it comes to raping unmarried young women who aren’t virgins. But Leviticus is pretty damn clear when it comes to stealing (not allowed) and eating shellfish (also not allowed).

The worst part of that Bleacher Report was not that he was caught shoplifting, but because he was caught shoplifting crab legs. Had it been a a steak it probably would have been fine, but Crab legs is just screams “GLORY BOY!”

It comforts me to know that the same type of men that worked in The Broncos front office, you know those bastions of integrity and decency, are standing to judge Jameis Winston. So sexual assault is nothing but when you fuck with Joe’s Crab Shack well that’s where I draw the line.

Respectfully, this doesn’t say jack shit about how misogynistic we are or aren’t as a society. It says the ubiquitous anonymous sources the NFL so dearly loves are cowardly and Neanderthal. But it no more speaks to the condition of society than any other mere handful of people being quoted on any topic does.

Johnny Sugar, thanks for writing this. The fact that colleges and the NFL continue to treat rape as no big deal is incredibly fucking terrible, and unfortunately neither institution seems likely to change.

Ok I usually just ignore articles like these then go about my day but I really like this site so it grinded my gears enough to comment. Let me go through this swill, which for God knows why has been placed on an ” NFL humor site” and offer the rebuttal that Sugar clearly needed to hear before he started typing.

As you may have heard by now, Florida State QB Jameis Winston was busted for stealing $32.72 in crab legs from a Publix supermarket in Florida. It was an embarrassing moment for Winston for sure, but one would think that compared to the far more serious sexual assault allegations against Winston, it would be a mere footnote in terms of assessing his character.

Hmm. Good start. Technically a person shouldn’t really be judged on either an unproven charge OR a minor theft when trying to get a genuine sense of their character but this is the NFL.

Not for NFL executives. No, the rape charge was apparently water under the bridge,

I seriously doubt that.

but stealing crab legs? THIS TIME YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR! According to this Bleacher Report piece, an anonymous NFL executive went on the record saying the following:

“When I heard about this, I was stunned. He was the top overall pick next year. Was. Not any more. This latest thing shows a continuation of bad judgment. I don’t trust him, and I can tell you very few teams in the NFL will trust him.”

A) 1 scout
B) not discounting the rape accusation (getting charged with something equates to bad judgement)
C) Did I mention this is 1 scout? ‘Cause it’s important given your conclusion.

So, let me get this straight: when a player was accused of rape,

Key term: accused. The horrid nature of the crime doesn’t make an accusation/charge any more or less valid until proven.

and only got off the hook because the ridiculously incompetent cops working the case did everything they could to screw things up, and assure Florida State’s Heisman winning meal ticket wouldn’t get in trouble.

Evidence based on the testimony of the accuser and her family. I’m of the opinion there is actually some truth to her testimony in this regard, but it proves nothing of the man’s innocence or guilt. Nor does it make the strong accusation you make in the last sentence true. Regardless, you declined to use any facts for support. Moving on.

you had no moral qualm with taking him #1 overall.

Twisting the anonymous scout’s words to suit your argument.

But when he steals a few crab legs, you’re off the Winston bandwagon? Fuck you.

Another scout: “We’re talent whores. But we’re not total whores. It’s almost impossible, at this point, to trust Winston.”

Again, you trusted him when the rape accusation came out,

He didn’t say that.

but crab legs pushed you over the edge?

At this point the only definite crime he committed. Didn’t really say that either though.

Fuck you, too. Also, maybe not the best time to use the word “whores.”

I agree.

Shit like this is what feminists mean when they use the phrase “rape culture.”

Hopefully without combining the same emotionally charged language and lack of tangible facts when arguing this point…and not on a humor site dedicated to the NFL

NFL scouts are all-too-willing to write off a sexual assault saying “Oh, she was probably just after his money,” or “Well, we’re never going to prove anything, anyway.”

Some of them probably do, and their as wrong as you are for assuming that an accusation should have a drastically negative effect. Once again though, lack of citation my friend. Also this is the point where you start to extrapolate one anonymous scout’s decision to “scouts” in general.

And no, we probably won’t ever fully know what happened that night,

I’m glad you admit that

but that doesn’t mean we should ignore it,

Given the way this article has gone so far you probably should ignore it.

or presume complete innocence on Winston’s part, either.

That is exactly what we should do, because that’s how the law functions (for men and women alike). I should point out that it was reading this inane statement that got me angry enough to write this in the first place.

But that seems to be what’s going on here.

The (somewhat misrepresented) statement of one anonymous scout represents far too small a sample size to make this statement. Unless it is just referring to the phenomenon happening to the scout himself in which case I guess it could be true.

The fact that NFL executives had no problem taking an accused rapist at #1,

1) Prove that.
2) So? He has not been shown to have been any more guilty of rape then you or I. If he had this conversation would not be happening, because he’d be in a heap of legal trouble and headed to jail for what our society has deemed an awful crime.

but are balking at using a draft pick on a crab leg bandit is a huge fucking problem.

I’d agree with that.

It illustrates that we still in a really fucking misogynist society that doesn’t trust women

It does no such thing, and using emotional buzzwords wont change that.

and is all-too-quick to brush off the words of rape victims when it might ruin our good time.

I’m glad you finally just got rid of the word accused and straight up called her a rape victim. People who would brush off a rape exist and they suck. Accusing society at large of being comprised of these individuals based on the evidence presented is an argument more full of holes than swiss cheese.

Its articles like this that are becoming more and more common and do an enormous disservice to the salient points that feminism does have to make. Situations where modern women still get the short end of the stick are undermined and drowned out by idiots like you who see one anecdotal case that’s not all that strong on its own, assume it applies to all of society, and scream buzzterms like “rape culture” that nobody will disagree with because they don’t want to come off as women-haters (the world is not divided into feminists and people who hate women) Like I said, I typically ignore this shit and go along with my day but seeing it on an NFL HUMOR SITE that I typically enjoy made me feel like commenting.

TLDNR: Fuck you, read it. Or don’t. I had so much fun taking apart this joke of an article that writing it was its own reward.

Thanks, Chud, for the takedown of this flawed, emotionally hysterical piece of writing.

Sugar makes blanket assumptions of how every scout and exec in the NFL must feel. So I’ll reply with a hypothetical that places me in the position of NFL team exec, since the only person I can truly put myself in the head of is me.

Following the alleged rape incident, I probably would have been hesitant about drafting the guy. (And for the record, I’m an FSU fan.) It’s because where there’s smoke, there’s fire. I don’t mean that to say I think Winston really did commit the crime. I wasn’t there, and it’s for the courts to decide. But after the BB gun incident and the Burger King incident, the alleged rape incident starts to complete a picture of a guy who, at the very least, regularly puts himself in bad situations.

Still, in isolation, the first two could be chalked up to college boys being college boys. So then I might have thought, Surely, he’s past all that now. The guy’s won a national championship and the Heisman, he’s got an excellent shot at one more of each, and he’s likely going to be the top contender for #1 overall pick in the 2015 draft, worth gabillions of dollars. Surely, he’ll keep it straight and narrow from here on out. Surely.

Then, HE STOLE FUCKING CRAB LEGS.

Rape is, of course, much, much worse than theft. But Winston was never convicted of the crime, meaning we have to continue presuming innocence. So, in a vacuum, it’s the sheer stupidity of this one that galls me. NFL fame and riches are just a year away — and he steals thirty-two bucks worth of crab legs? And when you look at it alongside all the other stuff — BBs, Burger King soda, rape accusations — a clear pattern emerges of a guy who makes poor off-field choices.

In the context of all that, and keeping in mind that we operate under a system of “innocent until proven guilty”, it’s possible that this anonymous NFL scout sees the “Crustaceous Jameis” incident as the proverbial icing, cherry or straw that convinces people Winston can’t be trusted off the field. In this context, it’s possible they detect a considerable amount of immaturity and inability to control impulses.

@Monty: You’re absolutely right. But my intent isn’t to suggest that people won’t hold the rape accusations against him — it’s to contest a reckless characterization of all NFL execs as more concerned about crab legs than the rape of women.

I wish there was information about how he did it. Like, did he just shove a bunch of crab legs in his shirt and walk out? I picture him just walking out like this, so enamored by the juicy crab legs that he didn’t even realize he was stealing them: [gamedayr.com]

As much as it pains me to say it, I think our troll friends have an accidental point. I don’t think NFL execs are implying that stealing crab legs is worse than being accused of rape. I think they’re implying that anyone can fuck up once, but this guy continues to fuck up.