Cat Gets Homemade Enema...And Other Uses For Turkey BastersInexplicably the vet was too busy to see her that day. The vet tech, quickly determining the best way to resolve the matter took over the conversation.
“Do you have a turkey baster?"

BigNews.Biz - Oct 21,2010 - Something was wrong with my feline sister, Moose. She had been lackadaisical for days. I had seen this many times before and it wasn’t long before my observations were proven true.

“The cat’s clogged again!”

It was my mother announcing to my father that Moose was constipated again. If she is not fed special cat food, mixed with Metamucil, she binds up like an eighty year old man on a strict meat and cheese diet.

“Are you sure?” my father replied.

Oh, I’m sure,” she said. Then, with resignation in her voice, she continued, “I’ll call the vet and get her over there today.”

Countless times my parents had taken her to the vet for this with the subsequent diagnosis and treatment always the same. Moose was as clogged as a 20 year-old Kojak’s shower drain and would need to receive an enema. Once flushed, Moose would be merrily sent on her way home, only to start the process of getting clogged all over again.
This time would be different.

It was clear that Moose would need another enema from our favorite veterinarian’s office so my mother called to make the appointment. Inexplicably the vet was too busy to see her that day. Even though she expressed concern over Moose’s condition my mother made no headway in garnering the coveted appointment. Escalating the issue she insisted on speaking with one of the veterinarians or technicians on duty. A moment of silence on the phone was followed by the sound of a female tech’s voice.
After some initial pleasantries were exchanged, my mother explained the situation..

My mother was momentarily confused, “A what?”

“A turkey baster. You know, what you use to baste a turkey around Thanksgiving time.”

“I don’t have a baster. I don’t really cook.”
“Oh. Really? Well, uhhm, you can call the Butterball hotline. They can tell you where to find one.”
“Is that necessary? I’d really just like to make an appointment.”

“I’m sorry we’re booked full. Since you don’t have a baster, do you have any other type of syringes around the house?”

“Well, my husband just had a root canal. He has one of those small syringes that he uses to shoot all the food out of the holes where his teeth used to be.”

“That will work perfectly. Do you have Dove liquid soap?”

“I have Ivory liquid soap.”

“No, that’s too harsh. You need Dove.”

“I may have some around here somewhere.”

“Great. Mix the Dove with warm water and fill up the syringe. Then, lift your cat’s tail and stick it in her butt. Squeeze the syringe so that you release all the liquid inside. That’s all there is to it.”

“I don’t want the recipe! I just want to make an appointment.”

“I’m sorry but we just don’t have any openings for today.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“It’s really not that bad to do, honey. Just remember, you may have to do it again later in the