Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I can’t tell you what I was thinking that day when I climbed
the ladder.I can’t even tell you if I was thinking.What I can tell you is that I was thinking
about many things after I successfully fell off the ladder.A lot of ideas have a way of entering your
mind when you are lying on the ground, following a knock-the-wind-out-of-you
back flop.The first of which is
usually, “Am I ever going to be able to breathe again?”

How much of our daily energy is wasted thinking about what
might go wrong, while doing something that we heard about from the tale of some
old wife?I’m not superstitious,
mostly.I don’t, for example, have a
problem walking in front of a black cat.I do have a fear of walking in front of black skunks, but I don’t think that
has anything to do with superstition.

At kids birthday parties, I always root for the birthday boy
or girl to blow out all of the candles on the first attempt.The superstition is clear on blowing them out
and keeping the wish a secret.My family
doesn’t put on as many birthday candles on my cake as they should, so I don’t
worry too much about putting out the flames on my first energetic blow.I’m usually more worried about what to wish
for than blowing out the candles.I wish
I were a little faster with the wishes.There has been more than one occasion when I’ve just blown without a
wish – because, for the life of me, there was no wish that came to mind.

When talking to a friend about some good prospects in my
life, I have to hold back from saying, “Knock on wood.”I’m not a true believer that the knocking on
wood, or whatever solid object happens to be nearby, is really good for
anything.I think about it, but don’t
hold out any hope that rapping my knuckles on a desk is going to encourage a
greater power into bringing me any kind of encouraging news.

And the whole salt thing, what’s that about?Salt was never part of any superstition training
in my family.Are you supposed to spill
it?Are you supposed to throw it over
one of your shoulders if you spill it? I think there are a whole lot more reasons to
limit salt intake in your diet than to waste time worrying about spilling salt on
the floor.I do hear that cooking with kosher
salt makes dishes taste better, but I’d want to see some more scientific
studies on that before I commit to an opinion either way.

I can’t remember if I walked under the ladder before
climbing it.I walk under ladders a lot,
if only to reinforce my belief that it isn’t going to bring bad luck.I must admit that I’m less likely to walk
under a step ladder than an extension ladder, but that’s just me.I’m a little less confident when it comes to
broken mirrors.I’ve broken a few
mirrors in my time, but I don’t like to believe that the broken reflections
carry with them seven years of bad luck. I’m pretty sure that it’s a shorter
period of time than that.

So, do I consider myself superstitious? I suppose I would fall into the “mildly”
category. I don’t think there’s a way
around not having thoughts come into
your mind that occasionally ruffle up some fear. I’ve told my kids multiple times not to open
up umbrellas in the house (although, parenthetically, our big umbrella might
have slowed down my fall from the ladder).
I don’t have any convincing reasons why they shouldn’t open them indoors. What’s the worst that could happen? Would it start raining? And do those little cocktail umbrellas count,
because if they do, then we’re in for about a pitcher of piña coladas worth of
bad luck.