The Long Purple Line by Dan Maslowskihttps://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/en/
Musings on leadershipen-usCopyright 2015Thu, 8 Jan 2015 21:46:42 +0000Apache Roller BLOGS401ORA6 (20130904125427)https://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/entry/j_accuse_she_shouts"J'accuse!"danmashttps://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/entry/j_accuse_she_shouts
Wed, 27 Feb 2008 04:58:11 +0000Humor<p>&nbsp;It seems I struck a nerve with my ham fisted blog yesterday. I have been accused to which I respond: &nbsp;</p><p>I am Dan.<br />Dan I am.<br />I did not take your ham.<br />I would not take your ham</p><p>I would not take it from your house.<br />I would not take it with a mouse.<br />Not with a box, not with a fox.<br />I would not take it here or there.<br />I would not take it anywhere. </p><p>I would not, could not, in a car.<br />I did not take it in a tree.<br />You let me be.</p><p>I would not, could not take your ham.<br />Not in the dark, not for a lark. I did not take your ham I say.</p><p>And, like the great movie &quot;The Silence of the Hams&quot; where Dr. Lector advises Clarice on how to locate the the culprit:&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;&quot;What does he do, Pat? He COVETS. Do we seek out things to covet? We begin by coveting what we see everyday.&quot; Look closer to home for the shifty eyed ham wrangler.<br /></p><p>Plus I have an alibi... </p><hr width="100%" size="2" />https://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/entry/keeping_track_of_your_hamKeeping track of your ham...danmashttps://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/entry/keeping_track_of_your_ham
Tue, 26 Feb 2008 12:08:29 +0000Humor<p>It has, on occasion, been said that a director and her ham are soon parted. Additionally, one should stand by your ham, and a ham on the desk is worth two that can't be found any day.&nbsp;</p><p>Little Bo-peep has lost her ham, And can't tell where to find it; Leave it alone, and it'll come home, And bring its tail behind it (hopefully on rye with a nice crunchy pickle and some cheddar cheese).&nbsp;</p><p>Perhaps the ham is (even I blush at this a bit) on the lam?</p><p>If a ham isn't on a desk, does the ham exist? Is there a platonic state to the ham, and, if we are more enlightened, would it be visible?</p><p>A haiku:</p><p>Silent ham weeping<br />Contemplate; beauty of loss<br />When is the potluck?</p><p>Dr. Lecter: What became of your ham, Pat?<br />Clarice (Nee' Pat): They took him.<br />Dr. Lecter: You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the hams.</p><p>Sorry for the tedium of an inside joke folks, but, everyone has a little funny bone inside of them that is tickled by the silliest things. Mine is twanging away. Pat Hill, a director here at Sun, won a canned ham as part of a best &quot;Mardi Gras&quot; float contest. She was proudly displaying it until someone snatched the untethered booty and went on the lam with her ham. I like having fun at work (and writing sweet code and excellent engineering) and this made me laugh out loud.<br />&nbsp;</p>https://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/entry/baseball_and_paying_your_betsBaseball and paying your betsdanmashttps://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/entry/baseball_and_paying_your_bets
Fri, 2 Nov 2007 08:22:13 +0000Humor<p>
'Twas the night before baseball<br />When all through the rockpile,<br />Not a batter was hitting, not even a Helton.
</p><p>The baseballs were dried by the dugout with care<br />In the hopes that the big Papi would err.</p><p>&nbsp;<img vspace="0" hspace="0" border="0" align="bottom" src="http://blogs.sun.com/danmas/resource/RedHead.JPG" /></p><p>
The fans were nestled all snug in the their beds,<br />While visions of series wins danced in their heads.
</p><p>Scott in his jersey and me in My Hockey Skates (what can I say)<br />Had just settled down for a cold one and a chat and a game we should play.
</p><p>From my brain arose such a clatter:<br />Let's stir up the teams and bring out the Rockies chatter.</p><p>
On Danny, On Danny my boss cheered lustily,<br />Away to the keyboard I flew with a flash.</p><p>
I can talk baseball and Red Sox trash.<br />And so with gusto and emotion and clap
</p><p>There arose such a spatter of baseball snap.<br />Twas not long before Nashua and Burlington rose to the challenge
</p><p>Questions of character and characters a plenty.<br />Spikes we shall have, in varying colors chimed the team from Nashua</p><p>
The matters of oysters and lobster rolls stuffed in cake holes was hurled in defiance.<br />&quot;Man up&quot; and are we playing little league or series ball was tossed with a snarl.</p><p>
Oh somewhere in the favored land the sun is shining bright<br />The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.</p><p>
And somewhere men are laughing and little children shout;<br />But there is no joy on Blake Street -- the Mighty Rocks have struck out.
</p><p>Once upon a Friday dreary, I pondered weak and weary,<br />Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
</p><p>While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping<br />As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
</p><p>Arose two children with their cans of Red,<br />'twas time to pay the piper they said.
</p><p>And so, as my younger daughter has exclaimed,<br />&quot;Daddy, we love the Red...&quot;
</p><p>With apologies to, Edgar Allen Poe, Ernest Thayer, and Clement Clark Moore</p>https://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/entry/blind_spotsBlind spotsdanmashttps://blogs.oracle.com/danmas/entry/blind_spots
Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:00:48 +0000Humor<p>I negotiate multi-million dollar deals with large companies fairly regularly (well, I help. We have a team that does this). I am comfortable with setting goals for my team and my organizations. I give direction almost every day and I help train very sophisticated engineers. I prefer to help my staff make their own decisions and guide rather than mandate.&nbsp; That being said, I have my blind spots.</p><p>&nbsp;Yesterday I was listening to my 6 year old daughter argue about what she could wear. After my wife had enforced the law I opined &quot;You know, maybe it is time to let her start purchasing her own clothing. When I was a child, my parents pretty much let me choose what I wanted after I was 6 or 7.&quot; My wife looked at me and said with nary a pause &quot;And you think that was a good thing? You didn't have a girlfriend until you were 18.&quot;</p><p>My daughter will have to wait a while until she gets to choose what she wears.<br /></p>