Tuesday, August 11, 2009

There is a disease sweeping the nation. I only watch the first two weeks of American Idol this it when it is actually entertaining. Each year I am amazed that some of the worst singers are the most confident individuals trying out. They are also the ones that are the most blown away when the judges tell them they stink, it is as if no one has ever been honest with them in their life. Now this I attribute to parents, it is one thing to support or encourage your children and and nourish their dreams but it is a whole different thing to INSTILL FALSE HOPES, you cant sing so lets channel that musical energy into playing an instrument, find other outlets. NOT EVERYONE CAN SING! Here is an example, if your family finds you to be very funny and often tells you, then chances are your not funny this could be case of American Idol Syndrome or AIS, your mom will never tell you you smell or you are a lousy basketball player because they are trying to support you. So families don't allow your loved ones to suffer from AIS it will get them mocked and cause them embarrassment.

Enjoy this picture, it is of me with my girlfriend, a 32oz cup of Diet Coke. Well, I have decided to breakup with her, I need to drink water so I consumed my last 32 oz tonight, I guess I will get my caffeine from Excedrin or else where but it wont be from soda! No SODA!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Now let me preface this by saying I love me some Kris Kross but wearing your clothes backwards is wiggity wiggity wack! Now on with the story I have an 8:30 am class 3 times a week, what a way to spend a summer, I know! Every morning after snoozing until wife threatens to punch me in the face if my alarm goes off one more time, I get out of bed and the mad rush starts. It is like the Saved by the Bell theme song is looped in my head. So in the mad rush of getting ready and attempting to make it to class on time, in the last two weeks I have put my underwear on backwards, twice and have not discovered this until lets say 1pm in the afternoon. I know what you are thinking, 1 of 2 things. 1. How do you put your underwear on backwards and not realize it until 1pm. or 2. Wow he must have a pretty large bladder to not have to pee until 1pm in the afternoon. Well yes and no, many of those that know me my bladder is tiny. If the average bladder was a gallon Ziploc bag, mine would be the snack-half sandwich bag size. So moral of the story if your are in a rush put your underwear on correctly or it may cause you to be mocked by your wife and create some awkward times at the urinal. I think I am going to start laying my close out like a fireman, any suggestions?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

1. No form of underwear should ever be work under a pair of board shorts, not boxers, boxer briefs or under armour! This is not acceptable I don't care if they match your tribal or superman tattoo, nope, never, none!

2.When someone drops you off, walk around the back of the car, maybe I have to make a stealthy get away and I don't have time to wait for you to walk around the front of my car, so people when I drop you off think special opps mission I need to get out of there!

3. Never ride a bicycle facing traffic! They are always to be ridden with the flow of traffic! You may jog facing traffic but who wants to jog anyway.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Finn is a great swimmer, to bad they dont have age group water polo for 3 month olds he would kill it! Well anyway at this rate he should be ready for the 2028 olympic water polo team, just in time for Tony Azevedo to hand over the reins.