I wanna talk about Fred and Sharon, the couple from the famously terrible “Who Needs a Video?” ad, and how they’ve made dozens of equally weird videos since then, particularly this one about Russell Brand divorcing Katy Perry.

One thing I value in a bizarre internet video is a peek into a world unsullied by my own. So it’s sad to know that Fred and Sharon have heard of celebrities and have opinions about them. Hearing that Sharon even knew of Russell Brand and Katy Perry was like finding my picturesque rural hometown got a McDonald’s. All Look Same in this flat brand-driven world.

But thankfully she’s still all Sharon about it, still satisfyingly weird and old-fashioned.

God, that CGI intro. It’s like the guy from Silence of the Lambs killed Next Media Animation and wore its skin as a dress. And what is the B-roll on the fake monitors behind her? People at a state fair?

Fred and Sharon have made over a hundred videos, and most of them have under a thousand views, and all of them should be an Adult Swim show. While they’ve recently concentrated on a “reality show” where they interview normal human beings, they still also fuck around with creepy voiceovers and CGI animations that clearly took a lot of work but still not nearly enough work.

This next video, from the reality show, reminds me of Kyle the unintelligible interviewer. Kyle is a painstakingly awkward character crafted very precisely by a professional comedian; he asks incoherent questions at expos and fairs. He gets around 300 thousand views each time. Fred and Sharon do the same thing, really mean it, and get 89 views. The real problem is they let the interviewee talk, when I want to see more awkward footage of Sharon locked in a grin while Fred learns how to zoom in.

Fred also does a series where he has opinions at a camera. I think a child made this:

That utter lack of content deconstructed the very idea that human communication can hope to impart any meaning. Fred’s advice is “Pick what makes sense.” Also, “take the steps necessary.” ;kaljsdf;lkajsdf;laksdjfasdf WHAT.

My last pick is “Annoying Arnold Takes a Plane,” which Fred must have spent weeks animating, but which could probably be replicated on Xtranormal in 15 minutes.

I’m reassured that contact with the actual modern world will not make Fred and Sharon normal and boring, but will just give them more things to be Fred and Sharon about. They can build a Starbucks in your farming community, but you can still get ripped on everclear in the parking lot.