Despite the fact that I normally like to mull over my posts for a few days before I publish them, this post isn’t getting that treatment. There isn’t time. In 48 hours I should know where I’m living next year. In 48 hours, for good or for bad, the anticipation will be over and a giant question mark will be removed from my life. And it’s the anticipation that I want to write about. The venturing into the unknown, the bend in the road, the moments right before the moments that direct the course of our lives.

We’ve all felt it. In high school it was waiting for the drama director to post the cast list for the spring play. It was the waiting for SAT scores and college acceptance letters. It was the road trip to a university halfway across the country and the moment right before meeting new roommates. It was the intense emotions in the weeks leading up to our wedding and marriage. It was standing in my first classroom, looking over the yet-to-be-filled desks. It is jumping every time the phone rings during a drawn-out job hunt.

It’s the intense heartbeat and the conscious effort to breathe normally, wondering how your life will change. It’s watching first a calendar and then a clock, but not being sure if you want time to speed up or slow down. Continue reading →