I have a natural curiosity for characters that appear briefly on the show so I did not avoid reading this One-Shot. What can I say? The plot was amazing and you manage to make a wonderful background story for the episode (maybe there are a little mess ups of the timeline and the Thrandosans' base but, in essence, they don't affect the story that much).

I had the same thought when I heard her said "They died!" There was a huge pain implied, and what can be more painful that losing a beloved one? Besides, the way you presented all the events and his death, what Kalifa felt... all of it was fantastic and overwhelming as well. I love your writting style, it was like I managed to feel Kalifa's emotions. I totally loved the ending! To sum up, I loved the fanfiction and I hope you keep on writing things like this in the future.

Wow - a painful story, but a powerful one. It perfectly accounts for Kalifa's character when Ahsoka arrives, as well as the hopelessness that all of the younglings shared. The loss of the four padawans was very hard - I might have suggested having at least one survive at least to retreat (it seems strange that all four Padawans die in short succession, but none of the younglings), then maybe stall the Trandoshans for the rest to escape.

Even better might be a series of attacks, lead by the Padawans. Each time they are defeated, and one or more Padawans die (perhaps some OC younglings, who are also killed in these attempts). Jadryn probably falls first, which sends Kalifa on the path to disillusionment, which is only hardened as the others fall as time goes on.

Kalifa/Jadryn - their barely-romance seems to come out of nowhere - one could almost think that Jadryn was afraid he was going to die without ever kissing a girl, and Kalifa just happened to be the one easiest to reach. It doesn't need to be much, but a few hints that he at least is developing feelings for her would be nice.

The Trandoshan base - IIRC, didn't the younglings discover that after Ahsoka arrived? They wouldn't have been able to have attacked it previously in that case.

Kalifa & other younglings - You have them all in the same group when they arrive. IIRC, one of the younglings remarks that Kalifa had been there the longest, so she couldn't have been with them at the start.

This fic could be an excellent back-story for the episode (it does need the incongruities smoothed out though), and already it adds a lot of feeling to Kalifa. I don't think I'll look at her the same way again. It makes her death a lot harder as well, although you added some much needed comfort with the four Padawans greeting her as she dies. Otherwise I don't think I could sleep tonight.

Where to being? For one, this was absolutely amazing beyond the description of any of my vocab to ever think of. You left me speechless with Kalifa's heartbreaking point of view which seemed to explain so much that was left unmentioned in episode itself. It is as if you painted out the character herself. So for that, my compliments are all to you, and you definetely deserve many.

Her personality was also what fasicnated me, since normally I write stories that are in like a second or third person point of view. This irst person point of view, where you placed in some of Kalifa's attitude was so wonderfully written. Her emotions, how the past events never mentioned in the episode were seen in her eyes, were just simply beautiful.

Wow, my goodness that is a long review. Anyways, I absolutely loved this and hope you do more one-shots to minor characters with such interestings personalities like Kalifa. The only extremely minor thing I disagree is her age. Thirteen does seem suitable, but Ithought of more or less her being Ahsoka's age or at least a year younger. (Last time I checked, in the Clone Wars movie she was fourteen, but I believe now in season three she's fifteen. So, in my opinion Kalifa is either fifteen or fourteen.) Good estimate though! Anyways, brilliant story and bravo!