Friday, July 31, 2009

Those poor mountain bears. An article just appeared in the newspaper today about a movie that they starred in winning its second award. Needless to say, Betsy Bear saw this, and is very interested. Since those poor bears appeared in a movie and are winning awards, I'm afraid she's decided they must have lots of money laying around their dens. She's planning a crime spree as soon as she works out a way to get up there. Do you think I have enough time to email those poor, misfortunate bears and warn them to move?

Those horrible plants just had a full sixty ounces of that milk mixture! Oh, our neighbors are doomed, this entire area is doomed! Honestly, what in the world were those rabbits thinking, feeding them so much? Even if those plants actually had powdery mildew, which they DIDN'T, that doesn't require dumping so much of that milky stuff on them, especially since it's known for causing growth. The zucchini are already waist high on the human. Can you imagine what might happen if those blasted things grew any more?

The rabbits fed those horrible plants another thirty ounce serving of that milk mixture they seem to love so. And to make matters even worse, it started raining while they were spraying everything, so the house is filled with the odor of wet rabbits! They have another watering jug full of the milk mixture waiting on the counter for the rain to stop too, so they can hop out and finish up the job. Those plants will have had sixty ounces by the time it's over and done with for the night. I shudder to think of how much their growth will be encouraged by that much food. And as for the milk mixture helping the powdery mildew issue, well, those plants were faking that!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The bunnies harvested their first two zucchini today, and they were chattering happily about how there are more that will be ready for harvesting soon. Have you ever heard such terrible news in your life? And they're going to be wanting to cook with the blasted things too, which means I will have to deal with bunnies hopping all about the kitchen, and likely hopping on me as they try to find things to make with the horrid fruit of the zucchini plant. I wonder how long it would take to cover the floor with rabbit snares?

The rabbits checked the plants a bit ago, and they're looking much better with limited signs of the powdery mildew. Of course, the bunnies are taking this as a sign that the treatment with the milk mixture is working, and they're considering mixing up more to apply tonight or tomorrow. Honestly, they look better because the rain washed most of the talcum powder off! Those plants were faking, and now the rabbits are going along with them and giving them exactly what they want, more milk and more growth encouragement. Really, don't these bunnies ever use their little bunny brains?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

It is raining again right now. Oh, this is just my luck. The bunnies will probably claim it washed the milk mixture they put on the pumpkins and squash off, and thus they need to hop back out to reapply it tomorrow. I shudder to think of how much good being fed that milk mixture two days in a row would do those horrible plants. Oh, I hate rain so much it isn't funny. Do you know with every drop a cucumber packs on ounces?

The rabbits have more tomatoes sprouting. They found them when they went out to treat the pumpkins and squash for that mildew they're currently faking. They have more spinach too, and something else. They aren't sure exactly what it is, but they're thinking potentially broccoli or cauliflower. Anyway, the sheer amount of it is frightening to see, and I hate to think of what will happen when it gets a bit bigger, given how it looks now as sprouts.

The bunnies seeded the pink tomato tonight, and the amount of seed they got out of that one little thing is frightening to say the least. The seeds are currently setting on the counter to dry before being raked into a little jar. Do you think I should arrange for them to meet some sort of dire fate? If they plant all of those next year, we are doomed!

Okay, not only are those frogs doing no work, eating the mosquitoes, but now they're amusing themselves chatting all night with other frogs, I can only assume on their frog phones as they loiter around the pool. All night I hear, Croke, Ribbit, Sploosh, Splash, Croke, Ribbit, Sploosh, Splash. I just know they're using the diving board to get some of the splashing sounds they're making. Is there a way to gag these frogs? It's bad enough that they refuse to do any work, but now for them to be chattering all night is beyond awful!

The squash and pumpkins are up to something, and I'm sure the watermelon are in on it too. The bunnies found a whitish, powdery substance on the squash and pumpkin leaves today, and they suspect that they're dealing with an infestation of powdery mildew. Anyway, they were told a treatment for this was to cover the plants with a milk and water mixture, so of course they hopped right away to mix it up and rush it out. Need I remind anyone here that this milk mixture is the same thing as food for those delinquent plants? They have faked powdery mildew just to get fed more often. I just know it! I swear I heard the bathroom window opening last night, and talcum powder is missing. Those delinquent plants probably sprinkled it on to fake mildew and get more food! The bunnies fed them a big, thirty ounce serving of supper! We're doomed! Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The human has some insane idea of going up to the country cottage this weekend to stay and do some work. And would you believe that she seems to think that I should assist in this work? She's been spending too much time around the bunnies, obviously. Any suggestions as to how I can limit her rabbit exposure? I'm thinking of capturing them in snares and leaving them hanging up for several hours a day to keep them in line.

The bunnies seeded the two Cherokee purple tomatoes that got due to that horrible tomato fest this afternoon. There must have been hundreds of the seeds in there, and the rabbits said they were so easy to remove from the tomato too. They claim that given how easy the seeding process was, they could probably do tons more in no time at all. The seeds from the Cherokee purple are on a plate on the stove drying out so the bunnies can clean them and poke them in jars for storage. Honestly, if they plant all of those next year, we are all doomed! Can you imagine how many tomatoes hundreds of seeds could result in?

As if it isn't bad enough that the library is amusing itself supplying the rabbits and Betsy with sacks, now the mailman has taken to contributing to their sack stash too. He lagged a bright, shiny new green sack to the door today for them. Really, what IS he thinking? I ought to let a cucumber vine get him just for doing something so horrible. Those bunnies will use those sacks for gathering more vegetables than I want to think of and as for Betsy, well, isn't it illegal to supply her with the tools of her snitching trade?

Monday, July 27, 2009

A batch of what I can only assume are lunatics are taking part in a 300+ mile long yard sale in a couple of weeks. The humans are planning to attend, and so, unfortunately, is Betsy Bear. I'm afraid that honey vendors tend to frequent these sorts of events and I think everyone here knows what happens when that bear gets near honey vendors. They even had vehicles in bear size last year that Betsy was able to borrow for faster swiping while the humans were checking out a batch of booths, looking for a light globe. You don't even want to know what she did to the poor batch of senior citizens who were daring to sell baked goods. Do you think I ought to send them an email of warning?

The rabbits came hopping in a bit ago to happily announce that their other cucumber vines now have little cucumbers on them, little ones that will undoubtedly become large cucumbers shortly. They have at least 100 of those cucumber vines, and I don't even want to imagine how many cucumbers might result from that many plants. Do you think it's a bad sign that they're looking up every pickle recipe they can find? And they asked how my tail would work at stirring a pot, so I think they're plotting to draft me into helping them prepare pickles! Have you ever heard of such?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I didn't get caught and drug to the country this weekend, but I heard a suspicious mention of a trip to the country on Thursday. I wonder if I have time to hide, or better yet, time to build snares to trap all of the rabbits so they can't go? I know if they get to the country, they will just amuse themselves finding more tomatoes for seeding purposes, which bodes so ill for the poor neighbors it isn't funny. Isn't there some sort of rule somewhere about not providing the bunnies with such massive quantities of seed?

The bunnies are thinking about slicing up a tomato for seeding purposes in a little bit. Does anyone know how many seeds the average tomato has? The specimens the rabbits gathered do seem large, which likely means that they have more seeds than the average tomato. I'm already sensing frightening possibilities for next year's garden! How disastrous would a few THOUSAND tomatoes be?

The new beans have been seeded and are drying a bit before planting. Honestly, the rabbits should be so ashamed of themselves, gathering all of this stuff. And they're hoping to plant it in the next few days, too, to get a second run of beans in! Have you ever heard something so horrible? These new beans are called turkey beans, so I suppose they're going to try to draft our turkey brother into assisting with them or something.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The human got a lot of horrible ideas for growing that awful tree of hers at the Tomato Festival. Really, it's a wonder that the rabbits didn't get away with way more than they did, given how distracted she was, and her subsequent failure to supervise them. She found a new archive she absolutely must visit too, that she thinks has a ton of stuff that will add to that tree's alarming growth. Really, don't these places have any sense at all? That tree is much too large! What are they thinking, helping her grow it further?

In further news, Betsy Bear was up to her usual, criminal activity at the tomato festival. Really, those people shouldn't be allowed to even touch weapons, much less tote them around and actually try to use them. They don't take care of them properly at all, just leaving ammunition in unguarded tents and getting involved with chats with people and not keeping an eye on weapons that are just hanging there right within paw's reach of that awful bear. I can only hope the honey vendor she robbed wasn't robbed at riflepoint.

The bunnies tried to bribe me when they came back from the tomato festival, by the way. They returned with a ball as a gift for me. The question now is, what horrible thing do they have in mind that they think I need to be bribed into either accepting or assisting them with? Do you think I should be concerned? It wasn't a large ball, so perhaps they don't have something too awful in mind.

On the bright side, the humans weren't able to stay at the country cottage tonight, due to some cousin's death, and the need to lag a plant to a funeral home, so I didn't have to actually do that list of chores the bunnies left here for me. Really, have you ever heard of such? And they honestly expected me to do them, like I didn't have better things to do with my day. Really, that work would have totally wrecked the naps I have on my schedule for this weekend.

The tomato festival should be ASHAMED! They let my delinquent rabbit siblings actually obtain produce this afternoon! The bunnies came hopping back with alarmingly large Mr. Stripey, Cherokee Purple and Pink Tomatoes, along with a large amount of turkey beans and a habenaro pepper. I shudder to think of how many seeds they will get out of their purchases, which is just why they purchased them. Really, does the country have to assist the bunnies in their delinquency? Or maybe it's a plot to keep them here and safely out of the hair of the poor Farmers Turley?

Friday, July 24, 2009

I looked it up on wikipedia, and I have more bad news about those blasted kiwi plants the bunnies want to grow.. They actually come in sexes! Some plants are guys, and some are girls, which means there is going to be a whole lot of plant mating required to get fruit. And even worse, the rabbits are planning to at least start these things inside, which means I will be a captive audience for plant sex! Have you ever heard of something so frightening? At least the other plants do it in a civilized manner outside with the aid of bees.

The kiwi has been seeded, and horror of horrors, the rabbits got several hundred seeds out of the little thing. I knew I should have eaten it when I had a chance. They're posting now to see if they need to know anything else before they start to grow them. That awful book they got that gave them the bright idea to try growing kiwi says they can grow 25 feet. Granted, it did say that when they're indoors, they're supposed to be smaller, but that's due to pruning, which I'm sure the bunnies won't do. I'm doomed once those start growing!

All of the tomatoes from the seed bank are sprouting. I just know those pesky Black Zebra things are going to lead to escapes from the zoo. Does anyone know how good zebras are at swimming? They'll likely want to loiter by the pool when they pop over, and I so don't want to have to play lifeguard for them. I'm sure they won't go along with just staying in the shallow end of the pool either.

Betsy has her snitching sacks all ready to visit that festival in honor of the tomato tomorrow, and I shudder to imagine what will happen once she gets her paws on that cannon they're going to have up there. Really, those people are so impossibly careless with their weapons, and would you believe they give demonstrations on the use of firearms? They don't even bother to make sure Betsy isn't in the area before giving these lessons! Have you ever heard of something so foolish? You don't want to know how many shots she can get off with one of the rifles in a minute now, thanks to those lessons. They should be ashamed, and goodness knows what other horrible knowledge she'll pick up tomorrow.

The rabbits presented me with a list of chores that they say need doing immediately should I stay at home this weekend. Honestly, I have never seen such a list in my life, and I think they really expect me to do it. Here it is.

Water Plants. The peppers don't need as much water as the rest, so you must be careful, to give them enough but not too much.

Weed Garden.

Feed Pumpkins and Watermelon. Add one part milk to nine parts water, feed liberally to both pumpkins and watermelon.

Harvest any ripe cucumbers and poke them on the dish drain.

Add Fertilizer to garden to encourage growth.

Hang up ties for beans.

Poke out poles for gourds.

Gather supplies for hoophouse assembly.

I'm just thinking my lucky stars that it didn't occur to them to add cleaning the pool to the list! Perhaps I need to go to the country after all. It seems like there would be less work up there. And if the SWAT team caught me for being associated with Betsy, well, at least I couldn't be drafted into assisting the rabbits in jail, now could I?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Another bad thing about the weekend is that if I stay at home, I'll be expected to supervise the penguins' pool party. Really, the zoo is going to be so ticked at us for this party, it isn't funny. Goodness only knows what they've had to put up to explain to all of the zoo visitors why the penguins aren't in their cozy exhibit. I don't think a sign saying that they've all flown the coop for a party would go over well. At least they're all able to swim, though. That's one good thing. I won't have to jump in and ruin my fur playing lifeguard. If only they would put on swimsuits, though. I'm not sure I'm up for a weekend of naked, skinnydipping penguins.

There's an off chance I might get to stay at home this weekend, and thus avoid the horrid tomato festival, and possibly being taken up as an accomplice to Betsy's crimes should the SWAT team work out where the pirate raids are based. The bad thing is, though, that if I stay at home, the rabbits have an entire list of chores that they say will need doing while they're up at the tomato fest, and of course if I'm here, I'll be expected to do them. I'm really not sure out of the two possibilities, which one would be the most dangerous, Betsy and possible arrest or being here and having to tend the plants all weekend.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Really, this quilt show was so foolish, it wasn't funny. Not only did they have polar bear quilts and buffets, in violation of all that is sane given my polar bear sisters and Betsy Bear, but they actually had little fat quarters of fabric every where in every vegetable print that you could imagine. Lunatics. The show is obviously being ran by lunatics! Vegetable fat quarters are bound to attract my rabbit siblings, and that show really doesn't want to know what a determined group of bunnies can do if they get loose in a building. Perhaps I need to put in a call to the local funny farm to tell them they need to make a pickup.

To make things worse for that poor quilt show, Betsy Bear attended too. Granted, there isn't too much she could do to the fabric, although she did find some pirate prints that she thinks will work well with her fur. The bad thing, though, is the fact that the quilt show foolishly had several buffets set up for all of the happy quilters. Well, for all of the formerly happy quilters. I can only hope that none of them were seriously hungry because the buffets suffered a few unexpected accidents at Betsy's paws.

The polar bears visited that quilt show today. There was a camera crew there and I shudder to think of what might have been filmed. Are they allowed to show such horrors in prime time, do you think, or should something so frightening be aired on late night television only? Some insane people had actually done quilts starring polar bears, and you can imagine how my sisters reacted to seeing those. I so hope the people who made those polar bear quilts weren't really serious about needing them back, because I'm sure they'll never see them again!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I heard the human saying something about all of the research she could get done on the family tree if they go to the country and that festival in honor of the tomato. Apparently people from historical groups set up there for some strange reason. Obviously they're trying to lure my human in, although why they would want such loitering all day at their booths I don't even want to consider. I'm afraid I'm going to be captured and drug up there for sure. I suppose I can stay in hiding at the cottage, but that is awfully close to the lake that Betsy's planning to raid on. What if they figure out what cottage that awful bear came from and call the SWAT team?

The quilt show opens tomorrow and according to all that I can find online, it's supposed to be a big one. They are so, so doomed it isn't funny. I tried to find an email so I could contact them to warn them of the danger of polar bears, but it seems to be too late, as they're already setting up. I shudder to think of what's going to happen tomorrow. I expect it will be on the mid-day news. My polar bear sisters have twelve sacks all ready to gather stuff, and I don't even want to think about how much they'll be able to stuff in there. I really hope those quilters weren't attached to their quilt supplies. And I hope there are no sheep in attendance. Sheep would be doomed for sure.

The human popped out to a quilt shop today to get a freebie they were handing out in honor of that insane quilt show. Would you believe she came back with fabric covered with pictures of cats? Obviously it is some sort of attempt to convince me quilt stuff isn't that bad. Well, I am NOT fooled! Anything that attracts polar bears like quilts do is obviously trouble. Oh, I hate to think of the damage my polar bear sisters will do once they get loose at that show.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Those insane humans up in the country are having a festival in honor of the tomato. Obviously the incidents last year have slipped their minds is all that I can say about that. Betsy was very pleased to see the info on it, and I'm shuddering to think of what will happen when she gets to the Civil War reenactment. Those people do such a poor job of guarding their cannons and other firearms it isn't funny. I can only assume that the people who took part in the actual Civil War did much better, or else there wouldn't have been a whole lot of warring due to weaponry being made off with by Betsy's ancestors. Those poor lake bears. Obviously the people in charge of the Civil War stuff are kin folk to our neighbors who never guard their boat. Betsy's anticipating equipping it like a proper pirate vessel now. Those poor lake bears, and pretty much anyone in the vicinity is doomed.

I'm facing the threat of being potentially drug to the country this weekend. I managed to get out of it last weekend due to that human getting her allergies messed up but they sound serious about going this weekend. Do you think I have enough time to scatter enough fur on her pillow to trigger sneezing attacks and thus staying at home? Thanks to the library, Betsy has an abundance for sacks of snitching purposes, and I shudder to think of what she's going to do with them.

The humans were working outside this afternoon, and they found a bunch of flowerpots that aren't being used. Needless to say, the rabbits were thrilled, and are planning to put them to use right away. I think they're plotting to hop out as soon as the humans go to sleep to start gathering dirt to fill the pots for planting purposes. Does anyone have an idea for how I can bunnyproof the doors fast so they can't make an escape to get those pots?

The bunnies got a kiwi today, and I am very concerned. And no, by kiwi I am not talking about the bird from Australia. That would be something safe for the rabbits to get their paws on. The kiwi they got is the fuzzy fruit that comes packed with hundreds of seeds, all ready for sprouting. Each one can grow to 25 feet, and the rabbits are thinking of raising a batch inside. If they start growing plants inside, I am doomed! I think I might have to eat this kiwi myself before they can harvest any seeds from it. Do you think if I cover it with cheese it might be a bit more tolerable?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Did you know that some bunnies actually use litter boxes? Much to my regret, I learned this fact this weekend due to the party. A batch of the rabbits' guests came hopping in, and demanded use of my restroom facilities to do their bunny business. Granted, it is better than having them do it out in the yard where the neighbors could see, but still, there was a horrible line in front of the box all weekend! I thought I was going to have to take a number to get in. At least they're all asleep for the moment, though, so the box is mine until morning. I wonder if I should order a second box from Amazon? If these rabbits plan to stay around much longer, it might be needed.

The penguins sent out invitations, inviting every penguin they could think of to come to a pool party on Wednesday. They thought if they scheduled it for the middle of the week, security at the zoo would be more lax, and their guests would have an easier time getting out. Do you think I should warn the neighbors about this? And I don't know what the penguins will do if the rabbit party is still lingering on Wednesday. How many bunnies and penguins can one pool hold?

The bunnies' party guests are still here. All I have heard is hopping, and splashing and thunking as they've partied and dug and planted all weekend. And I see no sign that those rabbits are planning to return to their burrows any time soon. They're lounging in every chair they could find in the backyard, and a few of them have even poked up bunny sized tents. They've snagged towels for bedding, and are settling in for the night, floppy ears and big bunny feet poking out everywhere. I just hope no more of them come knocking on the door, wanting to borrow toothpaste. For vegetarians, they do have big teeth, and I don't know how in the world the human is going to take all of those missing toothpaste tubes. At least they remembered to bring their own brushes.

That pesky frog is trying to establish his residence in the skimmer box for the pool. Well, I hope he is prepared, is all I can say, because that skimmer box is soon going to be jammed up with penguin feathers, and he will have to move out. It serves him right, too. He hasn't bothered to eat a single mosquito around here, and that was what he was allowed to move in to do! I have never seen a frog so lazy before. I ought to have my cat mother put up signs on the creek bank. I'm sure there are plenty of hard working frogs who would love to live here in exchange for munching those pesky mosquitoes.

The milk supper the bunnies fed the pumpkins last night was very good for the horrible plants. I can see visible growth that's already taken place, and it's only been a day! What if they start serving it daily meals? Can you imagine how frighteningly large that terrible plant could end up getting then? Oh, and the watermelon they fed seems to be doing suspiciously well too. It's already sending out a viney limb to snag the unwary. I am very concerned. Do you think I should drink the rest of the milk before they can use it to mix more food for the plants?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The rabbits mixed up a lovely milk supper for their pumpkins, and hopped out to feed them a bit ago. I'm very concerned. Milk will only encourage more growth, and even worse, I think the watermelons might have been fed too! I wonder if the growth I've read about in the books is with feeding or without? If it's without, then we are all in big, big trouble.

Do you think the dogs next door should worry? The bunnies are thinking of poking up some stakes to mark the next areas they're planning to dig with their little party guests, and some of the ground their talking about is uncomfortably close to those poor pups' home. I can only hope they don't plant watermelon up there, is all that I can say.

The black zebra tomato seeds were poked outside today, and I am very worried. Even as seeds, those things look suspiciously like a zebra, which seems a bad sign. I just know they're going to attract zebras once they get bigger. Oh, the zoo is going to be so ticked. Bad enough that my penguin siblings sent party invitations to all of their penguins and are encouraging escapes. Now the zebras will be making party plans as well! Can I be held accountable in any way, shape or form for this?

The bunnies' party was a success, I'm very sad to announce. They amused themselves hopping in the pool all day, and extending their garden beds. You don't even want to imagine how much digging they got dome. I tried to find some cotton to poke in my ears to block out the noise of the partying and hopping, but the polar bears mistook it all for wool, and snatched it for batting purposes. To make matters worse, my rabbit siblings invited their friends to hang around so they can continue the party tomorrow! I have a bad feeling I will never be rid of all of their party guests. I don't know what we're going to do. I know the penguins have sent out a few invitations too. Are there limits on the number of rabbits and penguins allowed to loiter in a single backyard?

The rabbits poked out more cantaloupe, honeydew and watermelon seeds than I want to think about along with thirteen different kinds of tomatoes, two kinds of pepper and an eggplant. The amounts of squash seed were alarming, and I don't even want to think about what other seeds they might have planted. They should be so ashamed. What if our poor neighbors NEEDED their homes?

Friday, July 17, 2009

I'm afraid the spaghetti squash is doing very well, and is rapidly heading towards second leaves. The watermelon is starting to vine, too, and more tomato seedlings that I want to think about are starting to sprout. About the only good seed that I can see is the bushel gourd, that seems to have popped up this afternoon. Now if that will just start producing fast so I can get more real estate on the market.

The frogs are still loitering around the pool, not doing a thing about the mosquito issue they were supposed to take care of, just amusing themselves diving in and frog paddling about like they own the place. You know, about the only good thing about the party the bunnies have planned for tomorrow is the fact that it will disrupt those lazy frogs' swimming horribly, which will serve them right. Maybe they'll have to get out of the pool and actually do their jobs for a change, disposing of those mosquitoes!

There are three eggs in that illegal nest that was installed on my property recently, which means that there must be at least two birds living there. It isn't big enough for two birds, and what they expect to do with those eggs once they hatch, I don't even want to imagine since there surely isn't room for them in there. How in the world can I make those birds pack their eggs and get into a birdhouse immediately? That nest is at best a single bird dwelling, and I'm sure isn't up to code! What if the code inspectors come around? I will be held accountable as the property owner!

The bunnies say their louffa gourd plant is doing well, and they soon hope to have sprouts growing on it. To make matters worse, they've thought of a way to profit from this. There are some squirrels in the neighborhood who seem to be complaining that their tails aren't as bushy as they would like. Anyway, the rabbits claim that a good scrub with a louffa will fix those tails right up, and they're planning to charge for the privilege. Not that I would normally discourage industry, you understand, but those rabbits will surely put any profits right back into more plants, which can only bode ill for all.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The rabbits managed to dance up large amounts of storms again. It pretty much stormed constantly for hours last night and into this morning. I so hate to think of how good all of those awful flashes of lightening were for encouraging plant growth. More tomatoes are sprouting, and one of those odd, French squash is coming up, so obviously the lightening was good for them. They're planning to sneak out in a bit for another dance soon, so the dirt will be nice and soft for bunny digging come the weekend. Honestly, they should be ASHAMED!

The human had to go up to the courthouse today, I'm very afraid for something connected with that family tree, since I'm sure those poor mountain and lake bears haven't managed to swear out a complaint against Betsy Bear yet. I'm sure a complaint against her would result in a visit from the SWAT team. But anyway, my prairie dog brother snuck along, and would you believe he got info on exactly where the property lines are? So now those rabbits know exactly how close to the neighbors' dwellings they can plant their stuff, and still be legal. They're sure it will open up tons more planting space for them. I wonder if the neighbors have thought of moving?

In a frightening move, the bunnies are hard at work planning lots of activities for the rabbit gathering they're throwing this weekend. They're going to be doing rain dancing demonstrations, and in even worse news, they're going to be getting seed out to give their little bunny guests a chance to plant a few things. Can our neighbors call the police if they see what the bunnies are up to?

The first of the bunnies' party guests came hopping into the yard today. Honestly, I know that the date the rabbits put on the invitations they sent out was for Saturday! Today is Thursday! That rabbit is seriously early, and I just know he's going to insist on loitering in the yard until party time. And even worse, he was loitering in the FRONT yard, not the backyard where the pool and large parts of the garden are. How many guests are the bunnies expecting that they're needing to open up the front yard to their partygoers too?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The pool is ready except for the second vacuuming, and the bunnies are so eager to hop in. They're hopping around the house, getting their suits ready, and their fur tanning lotion out. I suppose I should be happy that they at least bother wearing swimsuits, unlike those delinquent penguins who keep insisting they can't find anything they like, and thus must dive in in their bare feathers. Oh, I shudder to think of how noisy our yard will be this weekend. I just hope they don't plan to invite me to the party. They're going to be roasting carrots, and I know I wouldn't be able to escape without eating heaven only knows how many.

To make the day worse, the rabbits managed to visit one of those horrible buffet places, with bars just packed full of rabbit food. They came hopping home with 110 watermelon seed! They gave them a quick wash, and now have them setting on the counter to dry a bit before poking them out. Can you imagine how much havoc that many watermelon could cause? Don't these restaurants have some sort of rules against helping bunnies so?

The librarians should be so ashamed of themselves, and when the library is overtaken by cucumbers, squash and watermelon, may I say they have no one to blame but themselves? The rabbits snuck online a few days ago and added this terrible book to the human's book hold list. It's called Don't Throw It, Grow It and it shows you how to grow things from kitchen scraps. Oh, it's such an evil book it isn't funny, and the librarians didn't even question its inclusion in the human's order. They just handed it over to her along with the other books. They should be ASHAMED! Now I have rabbits hopping around the house getting bad ideas as they read it, and even worse, they're wanting to read it to ME! I don't like horror, especially something that horrifying!

The squash is starting to blossom, I'm very alarmed to announce. It's only one or two so far, but I'm sure the others will start to flower shortly, which is very alarming, seeing as the bunnies have out hundreds of the pesky plants! Does anyone have any idea of the potential damage hundreds of squash plants can cause?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I was innocently napping this afternoon when the humans woke me up coming in, and before I could get suspicious, I was snagged, and my ears were scrubbed clean! Honestly, I ought to sue for such an affront to my person. Granted, I didn't necessarily approve of having dirt in my ears, although they were highly clean in comparison to what I am sure is in the ears of the rabbits, but still, I was tolerating it, and I had high hopes it would help to muffle the noise of the bunnies partying. Now I must invest in ear muffs for sure.

The rabbits got their paws on more sacks from the library today. And to make matters worse, they saw on the form that the person can actually listen to a book in lieu of reading it. They're hopping about the house right now, trying to corner me and force me to listen to books, so they can then make a list for me to collect sacks too! Help! They checked out Bad Kitty, Bad Kitty Gets a Bath and Click, Clack, Moo to force me to listen to!

The pool is almost ready to be put into use. All it needs is a bit more chlorine and a second good vacuuming. Needless to say, I am alarmed. The pool is right by the garden, and is just the place for rabbits to amuse themselves taking dips all day between fussing with their vegetables. I just know they're going to amuse themselves running wild out there, and having parties all day long! I wonder if they make ear muffs in my size to block out the noise of bunny partying?

A tiger showed up today with all of his little tiger property. I don't think he's one of the creatures the rabbits invited over to party, and thus an escapee from the zoo, but I can't be sure. I suppose they'll have wanted posters up looking for him soon if he is, though. Maybe he'll even have a nice reward out for his capture. Honestly, he seems like an okay tiger, but would you believe he showed up with three value packs of carrot seed as gifts for the bunnies?

That lazy frog has invited one of his frog friends to move in, and of course his friend is absolutely as lazy as he is! Honestly, I have never seen frogs so opposed to work in my life. Even Betsy Bear is more industrious than those things. Their one job is to eat the mosquitoes before they can get to the human. Well, they are obviously not doing it, since her legs are basically one giant bite! How can I demand these frogs stop goofing off if they plan to lounge in the yard all summer?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Would you believe that a quilt show is insane enough to be planning to come to our town next week? Honestly, wasn't it bad enough when they had that one up in the mountains? Needless to say, the polar bears are already making plans to attend since it's right on the bus line. It's conveniently near the archive where the human goes to grow that terrible tree too, so the polar bears figure they can just stow away in her research bag, and they won't even have to pay a fare! I wonder if there's time to email this show and warn them of the danger they are in?

A second bird has installed an illegal nest on my property. This one was a sneaky bird, hiding his nest in a bush and trying to make it blend in with the bush limbs, but it was spotted. Honestly, what is with all of these illegal properties being installed around here? I'm sure they're not up to code, and I could be held accountable for their violations since this is my property. How do I go about demanding this bird move into an approved birdhouse immediately?

The swimming pool is all ready to be opened. The humans just have to pull the cover off tomorrow, vacuum the bottom and it's ready to go. Needless to say, I'm very concerned. I spotted the rabbits with a batch of party invitations, and an address book filled with burrow addresses for every bunny in hopping distance. I think they're planning a pool party! Does anyone know how I can go about canceling this gathering? Besides the wet rabbit smell, I just know they're going to try to get me to join them in the pool. Not to mention, I'm sure the penguins will be encouraged and will be planning a party next if the bunnies get away with their party.

The bunnies need to be punished severely for the rain dance they held last night, is all that I can say. I'm not sure what they did, but we got loads of lovely, severe weather. They even managed to make the gutter fall off of the house with the storm they danced up! Honestly, they should be ashamed, and I ought to tell the humans to make them put the gutter back up. It would serve them right to be forced to hop around all day on ladders working with hammers and nails. The only worry is that they might see all of that roof space, and get bad ideas about carting dirt up to install a garden up there too.

The spaghetti squash that the bunnies moved outside a couple of days ago is sprouting, I'm very sad to say. It seems that the rain we had last night was great for it. Honestly, I shudder to think about how this plant is going to do. I happen to know that spaghetti is known for its length and tangles, and if this plant takes after it, it is sure to be a nightmare. Perhaps I should pop up later and snap photos of the neighbors' dogs. The spaghetti squash is planted in their direction, and I feel missing pup flyers will be needed soon.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

By the way, can I be held accountable for zebra escapes from the zoo? My sister, Zenobia Zebra, was rather excited to see those Black Zebra tomato seeds poked into the bag for starting, and I think she's thinking of planning a zebra gathering once they sprout and start producing. Isn't it bad enough that the rabbits constantly have bunny friends over, and are encouraging monkeys and gorillas with their banana themed produce? Now the zebras are going to get in on the act! Oh, we will be in so much trouble with the zoo soon, it isn't going to be funny. And goodness knows what our poor neighbors will think when the zebras pop up to loiter in the yard and snack.

What department of the local police department deals with this? I don't know if anyone remembers, but a couple of months ago, the rabbits got 46 watermelon seed at a buffet that is so guilty of encouraging bunnies, it isn't funny. Anyway, they finally gave up on sprouting them in a bag, and poked them out in the yard. Well, they're SPROUTING like crazy! Who do I have to call to file a report about this? Those poor dogs next door. They are doomed.

Oh, this is horrible. Those cucumbers that the rabbits put out about a month ago are already starting to bloom! I just know that they're going to be producing cucumbers of their own soon, which is more than a bit alarming seeing as the rabbits planted hundreds of them!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

As if the crimes of my siblings aren't enough of a reason to avoid the country, the human is planning to work on that horrible tree when next she goes up there, which seems to me a good reason not to be in the area. It's frightening in its height and width like I've said before, and I shudder at the number of limbs. Really, it terribly needs a good pruning, and I don't mean just with her threats to cut annoying cousins off and graft their offspring who are halfway decent onto another limb. I shudder to think of the number of relatives she might add if she gets up there where they have some special archives, probably with a ton of the old newspapers and records she needs to add more limbs to that tree.

The humans are thinking of going back to the country tomorrow, and dragging me along has been mentioned. The human tried to make me more cooperative about this by mentioning a cat who lives up there that she is sure I would love to meet. Honestly, this cat has already met the bunnies, and probably Betsy too, since she hangs out in the shed where that plane is being built. I don't know how In the world I would ever face this feline, knowing she's encountered my siblings. Not to mention, I'm not so sure I want to be so close to the scene of their crimes. Going to the country means being confined to the living room or one of two tiny bedrooms with them.

The rabbits came back today with more seed. They got two value packs of collards, one value pack of beefsteak tomatoes and one value pack of cayenne pepper. They've already poked the pepper and tomatoes out along with two packs of jalepeno peppers and some chili pepper seed they snitched from the pizza place. And, in even worse news, they found some unusual beans while they were up in the country, and promptly collected them for seed saving. They've got a batch of seed waiting on a little plate now, trying to get them dried for planting purposes.

Oh, this is a disaster. You will never believe what I heard from the rabbits. One of the neighbors up at the lake is working on building a plane, and the shed in which this airplane construction is taking place is right next to the country cottage. Needless to say, Betsy was very interested in this news, and visions of flying, and making air raids on picnickers and other bears are dancing in her head. I'm likely going to be drug to the country cottage soon. Perhaps I ought to bring a nice lock along as a gift for our neighbor? It might at least slow down that bear a bit.

The humans just got back from the country. Four bunnies amused themselves stowing away, so, needless to say, you can imagine what happened. I so hope the neighbors weren't attached to their vegetables. The human was rather groggy from her sinus medicine, and I'm sure the didn't properly supervise those rabbits. I got to stay at home all day, thank goodness, although I did have to spend my time here supervising the seed. You don't want to know how much those horrible, horrible plants have managed to grow overnight.

Thanks to that human's leg getting messed up, it looks like they're going to visit the lake instead of the river. If anyone who lives up there is reading this, I suggest taking appropriate precautions now. All picnics should be canceled, and for goodness sakes, put guards on all of your gardens! Apparently my rabbit siblings didn't get as full as they would like last night, so they're planning to hop up to the countryside and have a little feast while the humans are cleaning, and Betsy is raiding. My one comfort is they aren't lagging me along today.

Friday, July 10, 2009

The bunnies came back this evening looking rather plump and full. I hate to think of what that poor relative is going to find, or rather, not find, in his garden come morning. And even worse, while those rabbits were partying and stuffing themselves silly with squash, corn and beans, they weren't keeping an eye on the human. She sat for too long and got her bad leg triggered big time while working on that terrible, terrible tree! The human came home moaning in pain, which isn't a good sign at all. Those rabbits should be ashamed not watching her better after all the nice stuff she does for them, letting them run around and party with all of their rabbit friends, and plant what ever the like. Such naughty rabbits.

That foolish relative who invited the humans out to gather produce a few weeks ago, has now invited them out for dinner. And if he's eating, he will surely be leaving his garden unattended. Needless to say, the rabbits are plotting to stow away with every sack they can get their paws on. I so hope he wasn't really attached to that garden because the bunnies won't leave a thing by the time they're done. I just hope they don't take a dip in his pool too. I just hate that wet rabbit smell.

I'm a bit worried about the banana melon that the bunnies planted. It's in a nice, warm spot right now, right next to the dryer vent, and that's sure to encourage its growth. And the growth of something called banana melon is sure to attract such pests as monkeys! I checked the mail today, come to think of it, and there was a letter in there from a C.G. Monkey and the return address was the zoo. Oh, I shudder to think of what will happen when the banana squash gets going too. That's bound to attract gorillas. Do you suppose the neighbors will mind too much monkeys hanging out in the yard soon?

The rabbits poked out all of the stuff they got from the seed bank this afternoon, and dug up more ground to do it, too. On the up side, though, they decided to make their plant labels from plastic silverware, so they didn't need to force me into assisting them with label assembling. Of course, it did mean that I didn't get to eat popsicles, but at least I didn't have to write out frightening quantities of things with alarming plant names. About the only good seed they put out of the entire seed bank batch was the bushel gourd.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I mentioned earlier the squash and cucumbers the rabbits poked out. What I forgot to mention was the fact that they have been rain dancing again, and part of this planting was done in a minor storm! Needless to say, the rabbits were soaked and muddy when they finally came hopping inside. I've heard that dogs are supposed to have a rather unique fragrance when wet, but I am sure it is nothing compared to the odor of wet rabbits. And given how many rabbit siblings I have, needless to say, the house is filled with the smell. Honestly, I'm tempted to tie an air freshener to their ears!

I swear, the human's doctor has picked the worst location for a medical office possible. It's right across from a place with cheap seed, so you can imagine what happened. Two packs of spinach, two packs of greencrop beans, two packs of collards, a pack of super marmande tomatoes, and the one decent pack of seed in the lot, a pack of catnip, were purchased and lagged home. Honestly, those rabbits should be ashamed. Isn't it bad enough that they got just a few days ago two packs of cabbage, a pack of eggplant, two packs of butternut squash, a pack of cherry tomatoes, two packs of rutgers tomatoes, another pack of collards, a pack of kohlrabi and a pack of carrots?

The humans are talking about trying to visit both the lake and the river this weekend. Oh, will the horrors never cease? Betsy will be able to make pirate attacks on two places if they go to both. She checked online, and there's a riverboat she saw on that river the humans are thinking of visiting that she's sure will work great for raiding purposes. The pool is just about ready to open too, so I know the penguins will invite all of their penguin relations back to spend some time with them. About my only comfort is that the humans are thinking of going to the river first and then to the lake. Perhaps if they do that, I'll be able to hide out up at the lake and miss the fallout from the penguin party. Honestly, their penguin relatives go around skinny dipping all the time, and jumping in the water in their bare feathers! They're bound to give my siblings awful ideas.

The bunnies extended their squash bed this afternoon, and then poked out two bowls of squash and cucumbers. All I can say after seeing their planting is that we shall never see our poor neighbors again. They're thinking of finishing up extending the squash bed soon, and then working on digging more beds, and planting corn. I hope the neighbors upped their home insurance.

The Beans are looking even better today, and the rabbits think the Royal Burgandy or possibly the Cherokee Wax ones are sprouting now. Honestly, how much worse can this situation get? They have over 1000 beans planted! I shudder to think of what things will be like come harvesting time, which, honestly, given how fast these things seem to be sprouting and growing might be way sooner than I would like to think about.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Oh, my heavens, the bunnies just sent in another order for the seed bank! And since they will have to send in offerings in exchange, I'm afraid they're planning another trip to the food co-op. I just know they'll up their black bean supply while they're there. You know, I am suspicious, though, about some of these seeds. They come from France, and I know the rabbits have a bunny friend who lives there. Perhaps other rabbits are on this list as well, impersonating humans like my siblings are doing?

The more I think about it, the more concerned I become about the humans going anywhere near that river and that place where the penguins' relatives live. Would you believe that all of those penguins down there amuse themselves skinnydipping? I'm sure they'll give my siblings bad ideas, and we can't cope if the pool filter gets clogged and breaks due to feathers! No, I need to figure a way to keep those penguins at home where they belong, and safely away from their relations!

I am hearing munching and chewing sounds coming from the yard, and one of the pandas just trotted in looking to see if we might have a wok handy. They raided the poor people down the street's bamboo patch, I just know it! Can I be held in any way, shape or form responsible for this? I hope the didn't make the mistake of leaving a leafy trail back to our house. About the only good thing I can see is that it seems they waited for the cover of darkness to visit the bamboo. Pandas are mostly black, so hopefully they weren't spotted.

The beans are sprouting, I am very sad to announce. The rabbits hopped out this morning, and as far as they can tell, the black beans, either mung or adzuki beans, white half runner beans, greencrop beans and they think the great northern beans are sprouting so far, and they're anticipating the other beans following rather quickly. And, in even worse news, the rabbits have decided that the black bean sprout is rather attractive. They're thinking of buying a pound just so they can enjoy its looks! I wonder how many beans might be in a pound? I think they're making plans to sign me up for picking when these things start producing beans!

The tomato seedlings are doing very well in the new place the rabbits stuck them in, so well, in fact, that the poked out a ton more of tomatoes and peppers to start. I suspect there were at least forty or fifty of the little things, and I know those tomatoes are the delinquent sorts!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The first of those seeds the bunnies got from the seed bank have sprouted. They popped the white cucumbers and the sucrine du berry into a bowl to leaf out. Now, that wouldn't be too bad, but they're wanting to make special little labels for the plants so they'll know exactly what they are since they're different sorts. And they're demanding I assist them with label construction! I offered to eat all of the popsicles in the fridge so they could use the sticks to make little labels, but I think they're expecting me to write on the sticks instead, or maybe help with placing them!

Would you believe that some foolish, foolish person who lives down the street has planted a bamboo patch? I wonder if that could be considered a sign of insanity, planting bamboo so near where pandas have their residence? I spotted my siblings a bit ago looking for plates and forks, and trying to find a wagon they could use to lag back enough bamboo for a banquet. I so hope the nut who planted that bamboo won't be too shocked to wake up in the morning to find it has all been harvested by a batch of pandas.

The human just took one of her allergy pills to hopefully ward off an attack from mold exposure. I suppose I should be glad of that, since the sneezing fits are rather annoying, and it's a pain to dodge around handkerchiefs. The only problem, though, is that when that pill kicks in, she'll be out like a light. The rabbits could dance and hop all over her, and she would never know. I just know they're going to run wild while she's zonked out!

Monday, July 6, 2009

I'm a bit concerned about the human. She came back from her little research trip to fluff up that tree smelling horribly musty. I posted earlier about the flood the archives had and rumors of mold. Well, obviously it hasn't been fixed. I'm expecting sneezing fits to start any moment now! Honestly, what in the world am I going to do if she's crippled with allergy attacks?

I wonder if I should call the television station to issue a warning about pending pirate attacks? The humans are considering going to either the country or to this place rather near a river this weekend. Either way, Betsy has horrible crimes planned as soon as she can get near water and a boat. In a way, I hope they go to the lake, even though the neighbors up there never watch their boat and Betsy has caused so much trouble there it's not funny. Some of my penguin siblings have relatives who live at this aquarium place down by the river, and I shudder to think what would happen if there was an impromptu penguin family reunion. And they would probably all want to waddle up here too, to continue partying. I'm sure the neighbors would never approve of penguins loitering in the pool all day. And I hate to think of all of the wet prints they would track into the house.

While the human was out, growing that awful tree of hers, the rabbits snuck off to the store and came back with eggplant, rutgers tomatoes and cabbage seeds. How worried do you think I should be? That terrible seed sale is still going on, and the rabbits say there's so many things they still need down at the store.

The human went out today and researched more on that terrible tree. Honestly, the rabbits should be so ashamed it isn't funny that they didn't prevent her little trip with some rain. She came home with piles of obituaries that are sure to fluff that tree up even more than it already is. Honestly, that tree already violates multiple safety regulations. It doesn't need any larger. And to make things worse, she brought home a lettuce leaf from her sandwich for the bunnies! That's probably why they let her go, so they could get that lettuce!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The human is thinking about going to research that terrible tree again tomorrow. Honestly, the rabbits should be so ashamed! I tried to get the little pests to hop outside to hold another rain dance, to hopefully trap her at home all day, but all I got from them was that their feet were sore and their tails were tired from all of the shaking. Have you ever heard such annoying excuses in your life? Honestly, when that awful, awful tree grows even larger, I hope the bunnies feel so guilty!

I got bopped on the ear yesterday while trying to keep a rabbit from racing outside with their paws full of seed. Anyway, the human saw the injury, and also saw that my ears aren't as clean as the human thought they should be, so now there is talk of lagging me to the vet for a professional ear cleaning! Honestly, it's hardly my fault my ears happen to be a bit dirty. What with those rabbits hopping around, and lagging in dirt from the garden, not to mention their little dirt filled seed bowls, how can I be expected to keep my ears in shiny, mint condition? Anyway, if anyone has dirty ears around here, the human should look at those bunnies. From the bunny shapped rings of dirt they keep leaving in the tub, I would hate to see the condition of their ears!

Who do I need to talk to to complain about the fireworks last night? Those horrid, horrid flashes of light were great for encouraging plant growth, something which should be DISCOURAGED as much as possible. I was keeping watch from my post at the back door, and after all of those horrible, bright, sparklely flashes of light, one of the cucumber vines is heading for the dwelling of the poor fellow who made the mistake of living behind us. And once it gets him, it will surely head for the library next!

It's been raining pretty much off and on all day today. I knew I should have watched those rabbits closer last night to see what they were up to, but I got distracted by the groundhog gathering and making sure that more of their guests didn't turn up in cabs. Really, I need to get to the library to get a book on constructing rabbit snares, to try to keep the bunnies in line. My only concern is, though, that if I try to trot off down there, the bunnies and Betsy will surely insist I take some book lists along and pick up sacks for them. Perhaps I could beg my cat mother to go instead?

Josie Rabbit hopped outside a bit ago, and she came back to report that it doesn't appear that the birds have messed with their new tomato plantings yet. I'm not sure how I ought to feel about this. I'm sure some of those tomatoes are the invasive sort, and thus a danger to the neighbors, but still, if the rabbits feel their plants are safe, perhaps they'll cancel their scarecrow installation plans. And I need those plans cancelled if I'm going to get more bird renters. Hmmmm. How badly did the neighbors really need their homes anyway? Okay, one just spent ten thousand on home improvement, but still.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

To celebrate Independance Day, the rabbits poked out two bowls packed totally full of squash. I'll bet they had a hundred of the pesky little things in there. They stuck out more tomatoes too. They're trying a new location with those, hoping to keep them out of the beaks of my bird renters. I shudder to think what might happen if the new location on the bed works well. I wonder if our poor neighbors are insured?

The groundhogs decided to have a little gathering in the backyard in honor of the fourth. Granted, their parties are fairly sedate in comparison to bunny gatherings, but still. One of their little groundhog guests showed up in a taxi and then that pesky little thing expected ME to pay his fare! I happen to know he was on a perfectly good bus line, and he should have taken that instead! He claims it was closed for the holiday, so the taxi was really needed, but I'm not so sure. I think he just didn't want to take public transportation.

My one comfort with all of the hopping and bagging and planting is that the bunnies are treating the gourd seed properly at last. They forgot before and didn't poke it on the hot water heater so it was way behind in sprouting. They finally remembered, and moved it, though, and now it's sprouting away. Hopefully I'll have some rental property growing soon.

The zucchini definitely has flowers! The rabbits have spotted two flowers that are open on it, and another one looks ready to open at any time. If each flower equals a zucchini, I'm definitely in trouble. And those pesky flowers are rather large already too, which doesn't seem to me to be a good sign. How worried do you think I should be? I saw the bunnies looking up recipes for zucchini bread a bit ago.

The bunnies deposited some of their little seeds from the seed bank in a baggie to start. I'm trying to comfort myself with the idea that they only poked in a few seeds per variety, but still, there were so many! They've got white cucumber, boxcar willie tomatoes, Amish paste tomatoes, brandywine black tomatoes, Cherokee chocolate tomatoes, Queen Anne's pocket melon, sucrine du berry which is some sort of squash, banana melon, that's bound to attract monkeys, Thai cucumber, spaghetti squash, patissons panache blanc and vert, another kind of odd squash, Chinese yellow cucumber, moon and stars watermelon, jumbo pink banana squash, with how large that seed is, I fear it will attract GORILLAS, Cinderella pumpkin and bushel gourd. I am expecting an angry call from the zoo soon based on all of the banana like stuff the rabbits are working to plant. Can I be held in any way, shape or form accountable for monkey escapes and Gorilla Valley being deserted? And I'm sure the neighbors will have objections to those animals loitering around the yard, snacking and partying with the rabbits. And as for those Amish seed, isn't it bad enough that the pesky Amish keep my human so fascinated with their quiltwork? Do they have to snag rabbit attention too? I knew they were up to something sneaky!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Oh, did I tell you the rabbits got their order from the seed bank yesterday? They got fifty different kinds of produce, including more tomatoes than I really want to think about. About the only decent seed that I saw out of the entire bunch was the bushel gourd seed. I can at least rent those things out to larger birds, that is if the bunnies don't scare away all of the birds with the scarecrow they're working on. Oh, and the rabbits are thinking of placing another order with the seed bank too, especially if their beans sprout quickly so they'll have more ideas for offerings. Really, what sort of bank are those people running, allowing rabbits to make such large withdrawals?

The bunnies planted their beans today, along with digging more to extend one of their beds. They're thinking they will dig a bed for corn tomorrow. Here's what they poked out for beans: 200 mung beans, I would guess 200 black beans, 100 black eyed peas, alias cow peas, 100 great northern beans and 100 adzuki beans, 50 of pinto beans, 150 of white half runners, probably 50 soybeans, four packs of royal burgundy beans which probably amounts to 60+ beans, two packs of Cherokee Wax beans, which were probably 30+ beans and a pack of greencrop beans which was probably 15 or so beans. They've poked over a thousand beans out there if my math is correct. Oh, those rabbits should be so ashamed! And they're already implying that I ought to help them with the picking of these beans too.

They did it again. The bunnies claimed they weren't sure they had enough royal burgandy beans for a nice, fat planting, so they hopped to the store to snag some more packs. They got two packs of royal burgandy beans, two of ruby lettuce, a pack of greencrop beans, two packs of cucumbers, two packs of kohlrabi, a pack of cabbage, a pack of rutgers tomatoes, a pack of pumpkin, a pack of watermelon, a pack of carrots, two packs of butternut squash, a pack of sweet basil and a pack of silver queen corn for a total of eighteen more packs of stuff. I must keep telling myself that it is all the neighbors' fault. It is all their fault. They shouldn't have moved in next to us, so it's obviously all their fault.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The insane store that seems intent on catering to the rabbits sold THIRTY packs of seed to the bunnies this afternoon. My one comfort is that four of the packs were flowers, two packs each of cosmos and bachelors' buttons. For the veggies they got four packs of corn, two packs of butternut squash, two packs of some kind of purple bean called royal burgundy, three packs of grand bell peppers, a pack of early jalapenos, two packs of beefsteak tomatoes, two packs of homestead tomatoes, three packs of super marmande tomatoes, five packs of various kinds of cucumbers, a pack of spicy basil and a pack of cabbage. That store should be SO ashamed! They're planning on putting the corn and beans out right away, and are working on adding an additional corn row to accommodate it, since corn doesn't like to hang out with other types of corn.

My happiness over the broken shovel didn't last long. That insane store that's selling seed for five cents a pack had SHOVELS on sale too! Obviously, they're wanting to keep their bunny shoppers nice and happy and hard at work on planting, and obtaining more seeds for planting. Anyway, the bunnies got a new shovel, and when they replace the handle on the other one, they will have two large shovels. I shudder to think of the digging they will manage then!

On the upside, something good did come out of the rabbits digging the bean patch. They BROKE the good shovel! The handle cracked while they were hopping and tugging at it to try to get a stubborn bit of dirt loose. Now they've got to lag it down to the hardware store to get the handle replaced. Hopefully that means their digging and planting will be limited until they do. They broke the handle of one of their little hand shovels too, so they're seriously down tools. I can only hope that they won't have replacement handles in when the bunnies go to look for them, so the digging can be restrained for a bit longer. Goodness knows, they can't be allowed to dig with just their paws. Even with the shovels, they were filthy when they came in, and there are now bunny shaped rings of dirt all over the bathtub.

The bean patch has been dug, I am very sad to say. It's about a food wide, circling around a six or eight foot flower bed where the bird bath is planted. I could try to do some math to work out the footage that gives them, but I'm a bit afraid to find out. They plan to hop out in a bit to start sowing bean seed. Oh, I shudder at the very thought and you don't even want to imagine how many bean seeds they have that need sowing!

Good news on the catnip front! I've got a large crop sprouting. The only bad thing is it's sprouting right where the rabbits had plans to dig for part of their beds. Needless to say, they're hopping mad about that, and are making plans to transplant my crop to a less desirable location.

The rabbits drew out a little map of their gardening plans. I hope it doesn't alarm anyone too much.

They say it's not to scale, but it should give you all a pretty good idea of what they're up to. They've got to dig the home for the beans tomorrow, and I shudder to think what will happen to those poor dogs next door when they go digging up that way. They're trying to decide now if they should extend their squash bed in that direction now to get it over with. One bed is already packed with squash, and the other one is just about full. They only have a few more feet they can extend that one, and then they'll have to head for the dogs.

The rabbits planted two bowls of something rather alarming in the squash family today. I'm starting to get concerned. They've almost filled their second bed full of squash and they're talking about digging another bed, or possibly expanding their second one to hold more of their plants. How worried should I be? They already dug up a ton more space in one of their beds this evening, and they're talking about digging even more bright and early in the morning. I wonder if I would have time to hide their little shovels before sunrise? They're making plans to put in beds for the beans very soon, and then possibly a nice, shady bed location for a ton of lettuce.

Two more cucumbers were gathered this afternoon, and the rabbits swear they saw a pea on a plant! Oh, their gathering is gaining momentum, which is not a good sign at all. The said that some of the cucumbers they planted a week or two ago are sprouting their first little grabbing vines too, which seems to be the worst possible sign. They're getting ready to head out to attack! I wonder if I should place a call to those poor marine recruiters in the morning?

The human made it out to poke around on the tree today. I swear, I always have the worst luck. She came home crowing about getting twenty something obituaries and papers that will surely make the awful tree grow to new and more frightening heights. And in even worse luck, the weather was nice and cool today so the rabbits could hop around freely without even needing their little gardening hats with the earholes. I shudder to think of the new additions they're going to come hopping in to tell me about shortly.

The rabbits did it again, and I'm not sure how they managed. I was watching them, making sure to keep a close eye on them so they couldn't sneak out and hold any more dances to bring on more rain. They must have crept past me somehow, though, because I'm hearing a suspicious amount of thunder and I swear I just saw lighting. Of course, on the up side, if it's raining tomorrow, the human can't go to grow that terrible tree, but still, I shudder to imagine how much more rain will help the plants. They'll get fatter for sure!