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You ever heard the phrase, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it?” That is never more true than on the internet. With everyone trying to get a retweet, encourage a like, spawn fan interaction, or drive viral content–it’s easy to become overwhelmed with the very mechanics of customer engagement. Recently, an infographic released by Quicksprout revealed some of the magic words of the internet and shared them with the rest of us! The findings were really interesting and frankly say more about the ways in which people perceive themselves than the ways in which traditional marketing strategy is packaged. For instance:

1. Facebook users like happy words and appeals. Word like “inspires”, “amuses”, “tell us”, “comment”, “submit”, and “post” all have a significant impact on user engagement.

2. Twitter users want it in plain (polite) language. Tweets that get the most engagement usually include “help”, “free”, “follow”, “you”, “please”, and “retweet.”

3. LinkedIn users think of themselves as innovative and resourceful yet humble. The most popular LinkedIn buzzwords are “increased”, “accomplished”, “under budget”, “improved”, and “developed.” Avoid words like “strategic”, “creative”, “innovative” (hey, you can think it but you can’t say it), “analytical”, and “patient”–these words will tank your interactions faster than any others.

4. Google+ users (probably) work at Google. Way out there in center field, Google + users (all 10 of them) seem to think they’re all Google employees (probably not a coincidence) and respond best to words like “discover”, “create”, “share”, and “promote”.

If you want to discover the graphic for yourself (see what I did there?) then you can check it out here. And always keep in mind that the best strategy for consumer engagement is offering honest, reliable, and original content that meets a customer’s need. If you can do that, then everything else is just gravy.

Working in social media marketing allows me to interact with a range of clients. Some are tech savvy computer whizzes who know exactly what they want from me and can communicate objectives and milestones without difficulty; these clients can already do what I do, but need someone else to do it while they focus on things that need their attention more, like the product. Others have dabbled in social media, maybe they have a Facebook or know a little about Twitter, and although they might not know everything about social media, they also have a clear grasp of what a campaign might entail and are often really excited to work alongside me and learn; these clients are great to work with and often after six months to a year of working together, they find they can manage the social media on their own take over. The final kind of client I work with is the techno-phobe; someone who has had little or no experience with social media, doesn’t spend much time on their computer at all (just email usually) and prefers face-to-face interaction over virtual; these clients sometimes have unrealistic expectations about the scope and breadth of the work that I do and are easily frustrated by the lack of immediate gratification. To this third group that I address the following:

Why Social Media Marketing is not the same as Sales

1. Sales is about closing a deal; social media marketing is about forming a relationship. Although social media marketing can pave the way for sales and encourage brand loyalty you will never see a 1:1 relationship between follows and purchases – it just doesn’t work that way.

2. In sales, it’s appropriate to push the client towards a purchase; in social media marketing, engagement is key but being pushy is a turn-off. This ties back to No. 1 in that the end goal of selling versus relationship building is very different and thus, from a psychological point of view, the approved tactics differ. If you pressure people in a store it can make the difference between a purchase and a regret (for both you and the customer), but if you pressure people online it makes you seem like an out-of-touch bully who is more interested in money than people which is a big no in social media marketing.

3. In sales, the conversation should always be focused on you; in social media, it should be on the customer/client. This might seem like a no-brainer, but you wouldn’t believe how many clients push me to post promotional announcement after promotional announcement. People enter your store because they are interested in your product (a website would be the online equivalent) and in that environment it’s appropriate to keep the discussion on you and your wares. But if you think of social media marketing like a giant conversation, then consider that no one likes the guy who just keeps shouting “buy my stuff”! It’s important to prove to the customer/client that you’re worth the precious space on their feed or dashboard by creating what’s called a ‘value add’. Whether it’s a silly video, an engaging conversation, or a product giveaway, it’s important to be dynamic and engaging – never boring.

4. Sales measures effectiveness in dollars; Social media marketing measures effectiveness in follows/likes/shares. This is perhaps the hardest thing to teach clients. No, follows aren’t going to be a direct correlation to sales, and no, being popular online doesn’t guarantee your success as a company; but social media marketing is a long game. More follows means more potential for shares, which means more potential follows – it’s a cyclical relationship. If one of every ten follows clicks on your website, you might see an increase in sales, and if 100 people share the video you made, you might see a really large increase in sales; or you might not. Like everything in business, the market is fickle and success isn’t guaranteed.

So, if I can’t promise success, and social media marketing isn’t really about selling things, then why do it? The long and short answer is: because you have to. A vast majority of today’s purchasing power (from college kids getting apartments to young families looking for personal trainers to writers peddling their wares) is online. This generation does everything online, and relies on the convenience, the accuracy (1000 bad yelp reviews can’t be wrong), and the immediacy of those interactions. To neglect an online presence today is to relegate your business to it’s geography, which arguably undervalues your product and your market.

Today’s consumers want more than ever before, and those that are best able to meet the consumers where they are with what they want will be in a much better position than those who belittle the importance of social media marketing and the consumer engagement experience.

There’s an online dating site that asks you to list, among other things, the “6 things you can’t live without”. Double negative aside, it’s incredibly interesting to see what people select as their top 6. Some list family, smart phones, transportation, or food, but my list always includes the internet. Although I’m old enough to remember a time before mainstream adoption of the internet, I honestly cannot imagine what my life today would be like without it.

The truth is that the internet has changed all of our lives. There are the obvious examples: Google, Facebook, e-mail; but underneath the apps, interfaces, and programs, there is also evidence of a more subtle shift in the ways that we think, communicate, and act. For better or worse, we are now fundamentally different thanks to the connectivity and accessibility of the internet, the very essence of which is harnessed via social media.

Source: Matt Hamm, Flickr

But I don’t love social media simply because it’s proliferate or because it’s changed the way I interact with others; I love social media because, in a concrete and indisputable way it has leveled the playing field. Small businesses and entrepreneurs that can harness the power of social media (which is for the most part free) can see incredible impact in their relationship with consumers/fans/community almost overnight, and large businesses are forced to use the same tools to reach their audience, lest they be left out in the cold and deemed irrelevant.

With the right amount of effort and engagement, a small business can make a much more significant impact on consumers (and thus drive sales) via new media than with all other old media (t.v., radio, cold calling, ad inserts) combined! The consumers of today are on Facebook checking up on friends, they’re on Twitter finding out about what’s happening around them, they’re on Tumblr figuring out what’s cool, on YouTube trying to see who’s next – the list is endless. The audience is out there if you only reach out and grab them, regardless of your capital, global market shares, or quarterly profits.

As a consumer, I love social media because it gives me the power to ask more from the places where I choose to spend my money, to share the things I love (and the things I don’t) with others, and to feel like I’m part of the engagement process – my feelings, preferences, and needs matter on a scale never before possible.

As a marketing/PR professional, I love social media because I am constantly in touch with what others think/feel/need around my brand, I can more easily network with potential customers and even competitors in the interest of creating a more complete consumer experience, and I can engage the community in a very real way that cuts past the flashy neon-fakeness that often comes with marketing and gets straight through to basic human connections and providing products and services that move because they add value, not because I have more money to throw behind a campaign.

How do you feel about the internet? Are you a different consumer/marketer than you would be without it?