Here's to the things I can't control.

Advice to live by…

I am by no means an expert on life. One could be on this earth for a thousand years and still not have all the answers to all the questions that have been asked.

I guess one of the biggest questions we ask ourselves is: How do we achieve happiness?

While a lot of people think that this is a general question I think it is a question that is so specific to each and every person tha no one person could possibly answer it. I ask myself this question a lot because as we change and as we grow, what makes us happy also changes. So asking yourself this question over and over throughout your life is absolutely necessary.

As I’m sure most of you do, I cruise pinterest from time-to-time (or everyday.. **cough cough**) to get inspiration for things. I came across some quotes that I thought kind of summed up how I go about my day, how I achieve happiness, and how I do things I want to do. I know this isn’t really about books but books are my life and therefore I’m posting about my life… anyways, maybe some of these can help someone out there achieve their happiness 🙂

What is an idiot? That’s a question that again can’t be answered by any one person. I think a lot of things would put people in the category of an idiot but I’ve chosen to ignore these idiots. Why? Because I won’t let them ruin my day.

I used to let these people ruin my day. Whether it was a car cutting me off on my way to work, someone doddling in the hall because they want to text instead of walk, or people just being stupid (the stupid people are the hardest to ignore… it’s taken years of practice and I’m still struggling). I try to remember that at the end of the day the frustration or the annoying feeling that I have towards these people will not have a bearing on my soul… so I should just take a breath, smile, and keep going.

As Dori from Finding Nemo says!!

But since we’re not in the water and we’re not fish I say “Just keep going.” That’s all you can do is just keep going and keep working to make yourself better and happier. Dwelling over dumb things isn’t getting anyone anywhere!

This piece of advice is so important. The saying that “sticks and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me” is completely false. Words can hurt just as much as anything else. Words resignate with people. People remember the horrible things that are said to them even if they know you didn’t mean them. I’m sure if you think for a second you will be able to remember at least a couple of times that someone said something mean. Words hurt and you can’t take them back.

“Check yourself before you wreck yourself” is a better saying in my opinion. Really think about what is you are going to say because if you even think for a second that those mean words are due to a bad day or a bad mood then don’t say them. Write them down on a piece of paper and pretend you said them out loud or light them on fire for all I care. But find some other way to express the words because like I said… once they’re out there, that’s it. It’s done. You messed up.

You never know until you try. This is kind of an ambiguous one in the sense that I’m not telling you to try drugs or shoplifting and suffer the consequences… NO. Take risks in your life to see if it gets you somewhere. If it offers you a new opportunity or a new experience that adds something positive to your life then ya… take the risk. Cross the line, stand on it, or tip toe to the other side. If you want to pull a Jamie from A Walk To Remember and straddle the line then do that. But add risk to your life because if there’s no risk… there’s no reward.

What is the difference between living and existing. It’s a tough question to answer because there are so many answers. One that comes to mind for me is that I think about a lot of people that make their life decisions for other people. They go to school for their parents, they stay in a bad relationship for the kids or the family, they stay in a dead end job because it’s stable but it doesn’t make them happy. If you are making your life decisions for the sake of other people then I think you only exist. You exist FOR those other people, you don’t live for you.

Living means that you do what you want and what makes you happy. You choose a major that you are interested in, you take a year off school to discover yourself, you get out of that relationship and into something healthier, or you leave that dead end job and find something you think is worth doing everyday. Do you see the difference in these decisions? There is someone who is going through life for someone else… existing for the benefit of others. And then there is someone who is living life for themselves… but the thing is by being happy you do benefit others. By doing what you want to do you live WITH other people, not for them. Something to think about.

I’m scared everyday. I’m not one of those take it day-by-day people. I like to think ahead. Being scared is good though… it may sound stupid and trust me being scared isn’t always fun but you have to be scared sometimes. It keeps life interesting and you test yourself. Staying comfortable is again only existing. If you want to live you have to take risks, take chances, scare the crap out of yourself and see what you’re made. I mean why not do that? Sure it’s nerve racking and you may find yourself throwing up in a public bathroom stall because you’re terrified BUT you did it. You came out of it and BE PROUD OF YOURSELF.

Think about the grand scheme of your life. That one time you stood up for a friend and almost got into a fight, a time you did a presentation in front of a bunch of people, a time you went for a job interview you thought was out of your league… the time you asked for that guy or girl’s number. If you didn’t do any of those things you would be in the same place… going about your day…. laughing, maybe even having a good time.

IF YOU DID DO THEM….

You would have stood up for someone and made a difference. That friend will always remember when you had their back. That presentation did get you somewhere… it got you one step closer to getting the hell OUT OF that class… instead of repeating it. Even though you think that job is out of your league… what if you get it? What if you asked for their number and they turned out to be your person… your partner and your best friend.

Look at what you would have missed out on if you didn’t willingly scare the shit out of yourself. Do you think it’s worth it yet? Good 🙂