In your careful study of the U.S.-Colombia Trade Agreement, you possibly failed to consider how such a document might impact the relative sex toy industries of the two participating nations. The short answer: It will be a mutually beneficial sex-industrial relationship.

According to the Spanish-language Portafolio, the trade agreement—which makes more than 80 percent of consumer products duty-free and phases out tariffs—will enable America's high-quality sex toys to be shipped to Colombia more cheaply than before. This will make them more affordable for sex shop owners and—high mark-ups aside—for their customers. Americans make money, Colombians make money, and Colombians also have better sex. (About 100% of Americans have been benefiting from high-quality American sex toys for some time now, so it's biologically impossible for our sex lives to improve.)

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Colombian sex shop owners told Portafolio that top-selling toys and aides include lubricants, lingerie, condoms, masks, whips, handcuffs, lo mein sex dolls ... okay, not those. But regular sex dolls are very popular—so much so, that one merchant claims that men "flock to buy" them. Spanish-to-English translations of "sex dolls" include "clones of women" and "female clones"—coincidentally the same phrases that, when translated from English into Spanish, means "las mujeres de Hollywood."