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30 September 2008

After the initially deployed soft measures, like throwing the smokers out on the streets to suffer the elements, subjecting the smokers to insulting ads, shaming them, libeling them by the secondary smoke canard, British DoH found the ultimate weapon:

Graphic pictures of throat cancer and rotting teeth are to appear on cigarette packets from next month to illustrate the health risks of smoking, the Department of Health (DoH) has announced. Among the other images smokers will see are rotting lungs, a corpse in a morgue and a body cut open during surgery.

The decision was preceded by a six months long clinical trial on 100 smoking and 100 non-smoking volunteers (as a control group). Out of the 100 smokers:

The rest (25) asked that the tobacco rations of their fallen comrades be transferred to them.

Similar results were recorded for the control group, although it must be mentioned that only 7 volunteers from this group started smoking or displayed initial interest in the theory and practice of this hobby.

DoH is proud to present the new method that has shown at least 5 times better results than other so far used ways to quit smoking.

"It is cheap, on top of everything else", happily declared a senior employee of DoH, "after all we are just ripping off the pictures from rotten dot com...".

Enforced viewing of snuff movies is being considered by DoH now to break the intransigence of the remaining 25% of the smokers.

29 September 2008

Which is today, as it happens in our neck of the woods. So you are invited to see this little collection of inspirational pictures. I didn't embed it, since the last time I have embedded a PowerPoint, it has put the whole blog on the fritz. While the text is in Hebrew, the pictures, as I have mentioned, are inspirational enough without any text, so...

As a bonus, though, I am embedding a smashing quartet here, and remember - neutrality or painful death!

28 September 2008

I wouldn't say how many years I live in the land of milk and honey, it is classified - as well as the precise ways I use to get the above mentioned milk and honey. Let's say a lot of years. Why do I mention it? Because there was no year without this or another guru telling us that this year is the year of our last chance to reach peace. Or else. The part of "else" usually includes lots of fire, brimstone and more...

I was always kind of skeptical about that last chance. I know that I missed my last chance to see a live show by Sir Paul lately and don't hardly feel any regret. I missed the last show by Yossi Banai and am real sorry about it. Etc.

But the last chance for peace? Finally, here comes professor Rubin with a definitive piece on that "last chance".

No, this is not a quote from a Hamas charter or a PLO textbook. It comes from... one of the 28 most widely-used history, geography and social studies textbooks in America.

In examining the 28 most widely-used history, geography and social studies textbooks in America, researchers Dr. Gary Tobin and Dennis Ybarra found some 500 instances of "errors, inaccuracies and even propaganda" on these issues. Tens of millions of schoolchildren in all 50 states use the textbooks, according to Tobin.

Says Tobin: "If the president of Iran wants to blast Israel at the UN, hecan use American textbooks to do so."

26 September 2008

German newspaper Bild says state police tell them a special commando unit stormed a KLM flight in Cologne early Friday and arrested two terrorist suspects.The newspaper says the Cologne to Amsterdam flight was stormed at 6:55 a.m. and police arrested a 23-year-old Somali man and a 24-year-old German born in Somalia.

The newspaper says police say the two had been under observation for months and a suicide note was found in their apartment saying that they wanted to die for the "jihad" or "holy war."

A man arrested for driving under the influence in West Virginia got himself into a lot more trouble later at the police station.

Happens all the time, but this time with a new angle:

During fingerprinting, Cruz then allegedly moved closer to one of the officers and passed gas, the station reported. In the complaint, the investigating officer wrote that police noticed a "very strong" odor. The alleged stunt led Cruz to be charged with another offense — battery on an officer — in addition to DUI and obstruction, WSAZ reported.

I have checked a dictionary, trying to find out how the (more or less) innocuous act of passing gas got classified as battery. Admittedly I am neither a lawyer nor a policeman, still the case is of some interest.

bat·ter·y (bt-r)n. pl. bat·ter·ies1.a. The act of beating or pounding. No way this one will fit. There was no touching.b. Law The unlawful and unwanted touching or striking of one person by another, with the intention of bringing about a harmful or offensive contact. Same as above.2.a. An emplacement for one or more pieces of artillery. With some effort, Mr Cruz could be considered to be a single artillery piece, but it's reaching, isn't it?b. A set of guns or other heavy artillery, as on a warship. Same as above.c. An army artillery unit, corresponding to a company in the infantry. Same as above.3.a. An array of similar things intended for use together: took a battery of achievement tests. Nope.b. An impressive body or group: a battery of political supporters. The body as such wasn't mentioned and probably wasn't relevant.4. Baseball The pitcher and catcher. OK, with some effort - Mr Cruz kind of pitched, and the police officer kind of caught it. Nah - too far-fetched.5. Music The percussion section of an orchestra. Sound wasn't mentioned and either wasn't produced or wasn't offensive enough.6. Electricity. Immaterial to the case.a. Two or more connected cells that produce a direct current by converting chemical energy to electrical energy. Same as above.b. A single cell, such as a dry cell, that produces an electric current. Same as above.

So, as you can see, the closest (oh well...) possibility to define Mr Cruz' flatulence as battery is to reclassify him as a single artillery piece. Again, I am not a lawyer, but such attempt would look extremely fishy to me.

And then - let's say that the definition of Mr Cruz as an artillery piece is accepted - shouldn't he had been transferred to the Army for investigation of the discharge?

25 September 2008

The first one was a small pipe bomb that (thankfully) lightly wounded professor Ze'ev Sternhell. Professor Sternhell, Israel Prize winner, is an historian and one of the world's leading experts on Fascism. Coincidentally or not, he is also one of the leaders of Peace Now movement.

Pamphlets calling for physical assault of Left-wing activists were found near the professor's home on Wednesday night, reportedly promising a NIS 1,100,000 reward to anyone who murdered someone associated with the Peace Now organization.

Due to the fact that the assassination attempt doesn't seem to be related to criminal or Palestinian terrorist activities, police quite reasonably concluded that the bomb at Sternhell's home was likely planted by far-right.

The second bomb, of a delayed action, exploded (and continues to explode) immediately after most of the news sources quoted the police on that suspicion. According to the news on the radio, several right-wind outfits of the more dubious kind have already expressed their indignation by the police provocation. Some of them have already concocted a conspiracy theory, the gist of which is that the bomb and the pamphlets were set by security services as a blood libel against the peaceful lambs of the far right. Parallels with Rabin's "provoked" murder are already being aired. The level of histrionics displayed by some of the speakers I had a doubtful pleasure to hear is a better giveaway than a pointed finger. If you ask me, that is.

This is a bomb of the mass bulshitting kind, not that easy to disarm.

I have my doubts about some of Shalom Akhsav (Peace Now) politics and activities. However, I don't have any doubts or sentiments about the "far-right" (or far out) lunatics.

You know how it goes: a British woman of a certain age alone on a Mediterranean vacation, a local hunk (imagine eyes slightly moist of passion, bushy mustache, lots of bodily hair, minor inebriation caused by anise-flavored drinks), romantic seaside scenery, a jealous wife/girlfriend - in short, all the mandatory ingredients for a B-rated movie or a pink-cover romantic novel.

A Turkish hotel has sacked all its male staff because they kept seducing older British women. Manager Pelin Yucel took the drastic step after catching her male waiters and barmen bedhopping with guests looking for Shirley Valentine-style romances. They have now been replaced with a women-only team at the 27-bedroom hotel in Marmaris, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Now about that role of a jealous girlfriend:

Ms Yucel, 32, said: "It got beyond a joke. The last straw was when I caught my bartender coming out of a toilet with a woman guest.

An Astrakhan archaeologist said he has found the lost capital of the Khazars, a powerful nation that adopted Judaism as its official religion more than 1,000 years ago, only to disappear leaving little trace of its culture.

I really felt something tagging at my heart seeing this picture:

Obviously, the ancestral memories die hard. Everything came back in a flood of details: the first pony, the smoky yurt, the archery lessons...

And this reminder, of course:

The Khazars were a Turkic tribe that roamed the steppes from Northern China to the Black Sea. Between the seventh and 10th centuries they conquered huge swaths of what is now southern Russia and Ukraine, the Caucasus Mountains and Central Asia as far as the Aral Sea.

I think that Northern China to the Black Sea, plus these other bits and pieces mentioned, will do for now. Some people will have to move, I am afraid. Nothing personal, folks.

23 September 2008

HTC is unquestionably the biggest fish in the smartphone world, and this announcement only serves as another reminder. The fact that Google has (wisely) chosen HTC to be the first platform for Android says it all.

With all the glitz and marketing savvy of iPhone, the serious fight is only starting. I can offer a guess about the outcome.

This is Norman, PBUH, killed by a no-good drunken imbecile named Joseph Petcka.

Prosecutors say former baseball player and actor Joseph Petcka beat, stomped and kicked a cat to death in a jealous and drunken fury after complaining that his girlfriend loved the feline more than she loved him.

No need for prosecutors anymore.

...prosecutor Leila Kermani on Monday called him a liar, describing him as a "washed-up, never-made-it-to-the-big-leagues athlete" and a "D-minus list" actor.

A Russian religious group called Union of Russian Orthodox Citizens proposed promoting teh Saint Alexander Nevsky to the role of the patron saint of FSB - the Russian federal security service, the main successor of KGB. Here is Alexander:When you stop laughing at the mere idea of a saint overlooking the essentially dirty business of the (not so) august organ, consider the following:

Alexander Nevsky is the person to whom the inspirational slogan "Whoever will come to us with a sword, from a sword will perish" is ascribed. This text inspired, between other things, the famous KGB shield and sword emblem. So the hereditary lines are easy to trace.

The second reason why the good folks of the Union proposed Alexander as a patron is to prevent implementation of another brilliant idea, offered by a member of the Duma (the Russian parliament): to return the statue of Felix Dzerzhinsky, the bloody founder of the Bolshevik secret police, the Cheka, to its original location on Lubyanka Square. The historic haunts of the Cheka, NKVD, KGB and now FSB. It is not that the Union minds Derzhinsky's blood thirst, it is rather that he was a raving atheist and invested quite an effort in elimination of the church and its clerics.

So there. Cannot say I don't understand the Union's drive.

Before you become too serious, though, here is a related brilliant idea: to assign the Russian SVR - the foreign intelligence service - another patron saint. So that the respective bailiwicks of FSB and SVR will be clearly demarcated in the spiritual sphere as well as in the practical one, and they wouldn't have to fight over rights of prayer.

"On the eve of Israel’s 60th Independence Day, the country’s population stands at 7,282,000", says this site. Without arguing about this number - 7,281,999 of the citizens do not have a slightest idea what their minister of defense is doing lately. This quote summarizes how it looks from outside his feverish brain:

Senior Labor Party figures said Barak understands that he has to prevent Livni from consolidating her popularity from the prime minister's chair, but does not want to be criticized for provoking elections. Barak is said to believe that Netanyahu will not join a Livni government, and this could be his pretext to call for elections. Livni's associates said it was strange that Barak met with the opposition leader before finding time to meet with Livni, despite her attempts since Thursday to schedule such a meeting.

Oh well, hopefully he will understand eventually that after the elections he is pushing for he will not have a pot to piss in, politically speaking...

The other intriguing question is whether Barak knows what Ehud does... or vice versa?

I have mislaid this picture, but yesterday it has surfaced again in someone's e-mail:

It shows* that citizens of Dublin, while possessing a keen sense of humor, are too timid to act on their ideas.

In Bucharest**, however - OK, you can click "Read more..." down there only if you are above age of ___ (as applicable in your country, state, county).

Travellers in Bucharest came face to flesh with an extreme form of busking – a woman apparently stripping for cash while pole dancing on a subway train. Shocked commuters were subjected to a saucy striptease with the woman stripping down to her underwear, before asking the packed train for money, reports BalkanInsight.com.

Now to the really important part - LiveLeak generously provides a clip dedicated to the anonymous, but valiant, pole dancer.

(*) I suspect that this Dublin picture is photoshopped anyway.

(**) It should be noticed that for some inexplicable reason most of the articles about the Bucharest lady appear in Australian news sources.

The autumn is officially declared here too, but I am not certain that we'll have to cope with the frosted butts issue. Not with +33 (Celsius)... Many surfers, however, are concerned with this problem, and the advice is simple: keep it covered when outside!

21 September 2008

Sit up at attention, pleas. Jack, the current boss of the whole enchilada, produced Haveil Havalim #183 - Lost But Found Again, and if you are included, don't forget to put in a sniveling comment. If you are not included, do it too, for the next time. Anyhow, it's a biggish one, so take your time.

And COTI - the Carnival Of The Insanities is jumping and twisting again!

You just have to listen to this priceless dialog: Terry Glavin discusses Afghanistan with a NDP MP Denise Savoie.

When you read Terry's post about the dialog, it is clear that he, being great and nice people, goes out of the way to be nice to Ms Savoie. Well, after listening to her vacuous mumbling about a diplomatic solution, about withdrawal of troops, about letting other people (UN - what does UN mean for her, it's interesting - all these yellow, black and brown people or what?) handle this, I don't feel obliged to be polite. She came out plainly stupid.

What is worrying in this case, though, that her kind of stupidity seems to be contagious.

19 September 2008

David Hazony, in The Last of Olmert? tries to predict whether we are seeing the end of Olmert's political career this September, after the elections in Kadima.

The most striking conclusion is that he has no intention of going anywhere. In other words, even if he quits his post as Prime Minister, Olmert has every intention of continuing to play a vital role in the Israeli government, either as Foreign Minister or, more likely, in a major advisory role in Israeli foreign policy.

That is reaching a bit, I think, but weirder things have happened. I am not sure Olmert is up to doing a Putin here, but who knows indeed.

The Elders are not taking bets at the moment.

P.S. After some mulling: the real question that should be asked about Olmert's delaying tactics is not whether he will go eventually, but what it is he plans to do between his announcement of retirement and the real retirement date. It could be that he plans to go with a bang, rather than with a whimper, but this is for Mahmoud the Mad to ponder...

When some white trash Western conspinuts start their "debunking" of 9/11 events, they frequently use something in the line of "It is simply impossible that 19 arabs blah blah blah...". Thus proving only one thing - their built-in racist genes.

18 September 2008

There is no rest for a blogger who tries to eke his humble Internet existence by humbly biting a knee here and a hand there. Hardly had the virtual blood of Harry's Place dried, and there is another blogger being picked upon by another pride of the eternally hungry lawyers. This time the victim is a British politician and blogger Kezia Dugdale.The story starts with a Glasgow SNP Councillor Jahangir Hanif. The man, apparently, has some Middle Eastern roots and, also apparently, has some habits that could not be satisfactory handled in the stiff and well-mannered environment of Great Britain. He suffers from the urge, you see, to shoot a semi-automatic rifle, namely Kalashnikov, at something or other from time to time. Since this craving cannot be indulged in Glasgow or its environs, he has to do it in Afghanistan (don't ask me why). Not only that, but he wants his family, including his little kids, to partake in this sport.

It so happens that Mr Hanif is one of the two sides in the quite a messy divorce. Acrimony spilled over from a married couple to the children. One of the children, one Noor Hanif, decided to complain about dad's rather quirky tastes in firearms and other behavioral traits to a political luminary - the SNP leader and Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond. She send him a rather long letter, complaining about this and that. More on the story here, there and in other blogs.

As it happens, the full and unabridged text of this letter found its way to the general public, and some bloggers, including Ms Dugdale, published it in full or in part. As a result, Councillor Kalashnikov is mightily pissed off and has instructed his lawyers to take steps. Lawyers, of course, readily took steps. First of all by sticking their poisonous talons into the bloggers (they obviously understand that tacking a newspaper will be much more difficult). Ms Dugdale issued a brief statement after removing the letter from her blog. Suffice to quote this:

The firm of Bannatyne, Kirkwood, France and Co., gave this site 15 minutes to remove the letter.

I don't know whether it was really necessary to publish the whole letter. There are some pretty personal things that are better left alone, or for the divorce courts. But after so many people published it, the business of keeping it under lock and key becomes not only impossible but plainly stupid. And the Streisand effect will do its work. I, myself, will not publish the letter here - it's quite long and frankly, a bit tedious. But I shall happily send it to anyone who requests it (look up our e-mail on the right side of the blog). But not before quoting Councillor Kalashnikov on that famous Afghanistan (or was it Pakistan) outing:

He was saying “Look at these people, my friends, I could have anyone shot”.

All in all, the letter shows a fairly loathsome dude. A loathsome dude with some attack lawyers at his disposal to boot.

Preface 1: I know that I have less chances to become a darling of Jerusalem Post than a snowball to survive in hell. So, let's have another go. What the heck, I mean?

Preface 2: I don't really care who of the current brood of pretenders to the PM chair wins. They are all looking kind of not there. Still, I would prefer to see a new face, and the two already used ones (Barak and Bibi) could do with more time on ice. Like another 50 or 60 years.

Now, I confess to liking Caroline (some have even suspected that I am falling in love, but really, let's be careful here, SWMBO is looking over my shoulder, OK?). She (Caroline, not SWMBO) is straight, in-your-face, no nonsense and passionate about her causes. What is there not to like?

Still, there is one subject where she kind of loses the... perspective. The political torch she is carrying for Bibi who languishes in the political limbo for too many years (at least Caroline thinks so) produces some special fumes that definitely have an impact. Easy to see in the latest Mrs. Clean is a Fraud article that starts with an immediate go at a knockout.

Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni may not be a crook, but she is a fraud. And if polls are to be believed, Livni the fraud is just one fraudulent election away from becoming our next prime minister.

Oh boy... I would have waited for the count of ten, I bet. Of course, if after the full count of ten I were able to move my jaws, I would have humbly inquired how is the alleged fraud Tzipi different from any other alleged fraud politician, without even mentioning any names. I don't even want to guess what the answer would have been. Probably an uppercut to finish the lower jaw off.

The expressed goal of Livni and her three opponents - Transportation Minister Shaul Mofaz, Public Security Minister Avi Dichter and Interior Minister Meir Sheetrit - is not to ready Kadima for elections, but to select a new prime minister who will form a governing coalition that will bar the public from electing its representatives until March 2010.

If the uppercut hadn't finished me, I would have tried to master the scant remainders of my strength to ask again how is Tzipi different in this from any other politico. I mean, if the chair could be reached without the drudge, expense and uncertainty* of the elections, why rock the boat? Would any other aspiring pretender to the throne behaved otherwise? Come on...

Besides, it's so clear who is meant in that "electing its representatives" thingy. Really, Caroline, he can wait for another year or so. After all, we all agree that no matter who it is that Kadima chooses to form the new government, that government is practically a goner. One year, no more. Surely the Man could wait that long?

Well, the two quotes used more or less summarize the main thrust of that piece. And the rest of it says that:

Tzipi uses vote contractors to sign up blocs of voters on her behalf. Nah - she is the first, I bet! Mr B never...

Tzipi will divide Jerusalem (this one is as old as Shimon Peres, and he is old!)

Tzipi concocted a detailed fraud to compel her Likud colleagues Binyamin Netanyahu**, Limor Livnat and Silvan Shalom to vote in favor of Sharon's bid to withdraw from Gaza and northern Samaria and expel all Jews from the areas. Wow! A politico who decieves - that's a new one, surely!

Tzipi caused "thousands of protesters were illegally arrested and held in jails for weeks at a time without charges being brought against them". A budding tyrant on top of all.

Well, what can I say, besides quoting Lenin: "They frighten us but we are not scared"? Or whatever. Anyhow, if this is the whole file Caroline can drop on Tzipi, we are in a relatively good shape. Compared to the other alternatives, I mean. And I am not going to start dive-bombing Mr. B like an irate gull, it is too boring by now. Like bombing a football field, as far as your chances to miss are concerned.

Just suggesting that this torch is smoking somewhat awful. Really. Time to give it a good cleaning or change it.

Nah, folks, sometimes frustration is just too funny. That's all.

(*) There isn't any uncertainty, in fact. With the current roster of run-ups and the electorate's short memory, Mr. B is a hands down favorite.

(**) In praise of Caroline, I have to say that she mentions Mr B. only once in the article. Cool!

Last minute update: Just when I promised not to dive-bomb Bibi, he comes out with another blooper that is impossible to pass over. In his TV appearances of Sep 16 (notice the date) he compared Kadima fiscal leadership with Lehman Brothers' crash, beating self on chest and claiming that he warned repeatedly about the financial "tsunami" coming.

In this episode Criss Angel will attempt to escape from the nine-story Spyglass Resort building in Clearwater Fl. as it is being imploded by a team from Advanced Explosives Demolition, Inc. www.biggerblast.com.

In what could only have been pulled off by the most amazing illusionist of the 21st century - Chris Angel mind freaked Arctic ice shelf specialists at Trent University in Ontario into believing the 4,500-year-old Markham Ice Shelf disappeared.

For the sake of brevity I have omitted the word "mad" in the headline, you might want to work out by yourself where it fits.

We are used to joke about that famous "three million presidents"* thing, about three Jooz having five opinions and more and more in the same vein. But every joke is half the truth, and the problem of our infighting is far from being a joke. United we stand, but united we are on very rare occasions, and rarely we take a breather from tearing the nation apart. I am never tired repeating this. But Ami Isseroff does it so much better in the latest piece The biggest danger to Israel.

The worst period in the early history of ancient Israel was the time of the Judges, of which the Book of Judges states more than once, In those days there was no king in Israel: every man did that which was right in his own eyes. The gift of men like Herzl and David Ben-Gurion is that they were able to overcome the futile, petty and egotistical quarrels of Diaspora Jewish life and rabbinical Judaism, and to produce a united people, ready to undertake sovereignty.

What happens when these elements are missing?

WYSIWYG, ladies and gentlemen - What You See Is What You Get, and it's past time to stop and do something about it.

But read the whole article, please.

(*) The story goes more or less like this: in a meeting between Nixon and Ben-Gurion, the former complained about the burden of managing a country of 200 million citizens. Ben Gurion countered: "Imagine the problem of managing a country of three million presidents".

16 September 2008

You know how it goes, my dear non-Jewish reader (goy, gentile, whatever): one day, while sitting in a pub, you discover that you are out of funds for the next round. Or your beloved dog dies of a simple deworming procedure (or so your vet said). Or the weather sucks. And you don't exactly know whom to blame for this or that minor mishap. Then a thousand watt bulb goes off in your head and all becomes clear: the Jooz!

Nah, knowing you, my reader, I doubt that you entertain such an idea for a long time. This is just not you. There is, however, a sizable community of people that do entertain this idea on a more or less permanent basis, and these are the ones this post is written for.

For this reason, the rest of the post is relevant to the people who read, speak and understand (this is an important point) Russian. So click "Read more" if ready.

No, I don't plan another example of fisking per se. Just a vague mealy-mouthed vignette on the general lines of how some unscrupulous journos use sleight of hand to deceive and mislead the reader, especially one that desires to be mislead and confused or just doesn't give a flying donut. Here is a quote from Fisk's recent piece, and I am not even going to talk about the general thrust of that piece:

And I am reminded now of how Benjamin Netanyahu released Sheikh Ahmed Yassin from prison after two of Israel's Mossad would-be killers tried to murder Khaled Meshal of Hamas in Amman. King Hussein had angrily demanded the antidote to the poison they gave Meshal – which is how Yassin obtained his release. Then, after Yassin had been greeted by his Palestinian followers and gone ranting on about the need to avoid recognition of Israel, praising suicide bombers into the bargain, an Israeli pilot fired a missile into his wheelchair – not exactly a noble act since the old man was a cripple – and once again we heard about the barbarity of the now dead Yassin.

The master (some call him venomous professional hate pedlar, but this is not my point), takes two true incidents: 1) release of the Sheikh by Bibi and 2) Sheikh's demise by metal poisoning.

Fisk conveniently forgets that the first incident (release) happened in 1997, while the second (demise) in 2003. Thus creating an impression that the Sheikh was released just to be cruelly cut down in prime of his free life.

And of course, he doesn't mention several hundreds of murdered and several thousands wounded and traumatized for life (during this period) Israelis, and the much higher numbers of Palestinians sharing the same fate as a result of our response. A major part of this feast of death was inspired by the poor, paraplegic, nearly blind and confined to a wheelchair monster.

But why should Fisk mention all this? After all... but see above re the mislead and confused.

And re "venomous professional hate pedlars" - yeah, let's leave it alone for now. After all, you have to do something with your spare time.

Almost missed this one. The signals department is in a state of total disarray, what with the upcoming holidays and counting and stacking the greenbacks from that financial do on Wall Street.

So what do we have? A link between the mysterious Morgellons malady and the Agrobacterium. And then it becomes Krystal Klear: Morgellons - Agrobacterium - GM food - US boffins - US government (actually ZOG) - Zionists - the Elders.

I know that this post will not endear me to some people who look askance at this itch to post search strings and related cheap wisecracks. But the urge is simply irresistible, and once in a while one must succumb. So here.

To field-dress a moose doesn't mean taking a moose for a fitting session in Bloomingdale. Check the link out.

Hadron - it's not a typo for hard-on. And what is a hard-on collider? - no, really!

I don't rightly know whether Large Hadron Collider is Zionist - I am in Hasbara, will ask the boffins, OK? Back to you with the answer soon.

Is Maria Sharapova Jewish? Who, that one?

Should we really care? As far as the Elders are concerned, she could be a reptilian. Looking like this...

Getting more and more senile, what with all these Hasbara pressures. Plain forgot to submit stuff to Haveil Havalim, which is today and which is by Batya, she of many blogs. Very colorful and full of goodies.

Seth Freedman as an apologist - this sounds strange, no matter what entity he is supposed to apologize for. The opposite was believed to be true - as one of the main contributors of the Guardian political cesspool called Comment is Free, he became rather prominent as an attacker. His attacks are directed against the Zionist Entity - which happens to be precisely what is expected from him by his editors and the shoal of his faithful followers that cheer him as kind of a new Guardian Messiah.

Frankly, a terrible disappointment. Some years ago, with appearance of his first articles, my friends and I had high hopes for the youngster. Not afraid to decry injustice of his own side, he was not blind to the behavior of Palestinians. No more - the guy clearly figured out which side his bread is buttered. And this side has no trek with criticizing Palestinians, obviously.Besides, he is lately becoming more and more religion-minded, finding his real roots in the Jewish faith, apparently. Nary a piece of his ends without mentioning the deep chasm between his religion and the Zionists' atrocities. So much so that a friend of mine asked, quite reasonably, whether Seth is in apprenticeship to Neturei Karta. Certainly a possibility.

But his latest shenanigans left many an anti-Zionist standing. It started with Edwin Bennatan publishing in Jerusalem Post a rebuttal to quite a poisonous piece by Freedman, in which Freedman says, between other things:

People object to the wanton destruction meted out in [Palestinian] villages by the IDF being likened to pogroms - the word having been somehow arrogated by certain Jewish people for their exclusive use.

Well, as acrimony goes, the rebuttal by Bennatan was quite moderate. And then something unique happened: the relatively right wing JP removes the Bennatan's article and publishes an apology:

The Jerusalem Post would like to apologize to Seth Freedman for certain comments that appeared on our site following a September 1 blog entry written by Edwin Bennatan that were defamatory, threatening, and inappropriate. The Jerusalem Post apologizes for any distress caused to Mr. Freedman, expresses its sincere regret that such a situation was allowed to occur, and will endeavour to prevent any recurrence. A donation will be made by the Jerusalem Post to a charity of Mr Freedman's choice.

Wow... wow... But hold your horses before saying your wows - notice this: it is not the Bennatan's article that caused Mr. Freedman's ire, it were "certain comments"! And the forces our Seth brought to bear on poor JP were of such magnitude that they have decided to remove not only the offending comments, but the article itself! Unbelievable.

So, it looks like the fearless fighter for freedom of Palestinians and freedom of his expression in CiF is not exactly averse to some legal hanky panky when it comes to silencing the opposition. Might be interesting to know whether he threatened JP with a British court, which, as we all know only too well, is unbearably easy to persuade re libel. Might be also interesting to know where a humble CiF correspondent gets such an easy access to some legal talent that, as we all know, doesn't come cheap.

So, folks, in the interests of the freedom of expression, follows the unabridged version of the Bennatan's article, taken from Google cache memory. It doesn't look as if there is a copyright issue in this case, unless Edwin Bennatan himself calls for its removal from this here blog. You shall see that the article is no more incendiary than the endless drivel Seth Freedman feeds his readers on CiF. Enjoy.

An apologist for Hamas TV

People object to the wanton destruction meted out in [Palestinian] villages by the IDF being likened to pogroms - the word having been somehow arrogated by certain Jewish people for their exclusive use."

Seth FreedmanThe Guardian (London)August 21, 2008

At which point do absurd comparisons become blatantly offensive? The Guardian's Seth Freedman recently compared the western media to the Al-Aqsa television station. You need to realize just how perverse this station really is in order to fully grasp the absurdity of Freedman's comparison.

Here's a brief glimpse of Al-Aqsa TV, which was launched by Hamas in 2006 as part of its campaign to counter what it saw as Israeli propaganda in the western media. The station transmits news, documentaries, and children's programs from Gaza.

A Mickey Mouse lookalike character tells children that he will eat the Jews, and then sings "We will never recognize Israel", while a little girl joins in for the refrain: "Until we liberate our homeland from the Zionist filth."

A TV bunny is tempted by Satan to steal, and is sentenced by children viewers to be punished according to the Koran, by having his hand chopped off. He then threatens to kill the people of Denmark for the publication of a cartoon that illustrates the prophet Muhammad.

And in a particular potent strain of edification, Arab children are stuffed into a crematorium embellished with a nazi swastika and a Jewish Star of David, while for more mature viewers, a Hamas documentary program explains that it was the Jews who planned the Holocaust in order to kill other Jews who were handicapped.

The station's news broadcast reports that Israel is creating artificial earthquakes to shake the foundations of the Al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem, and in an interview with Agence France-Presse, the station's news manager, Ibrahim Daher, explains: "We adapt news so that it is compatible with our culture, the values of our people, and Islam".

Freedman recently summarized his impressions of the television station after having spent some time with a Palestinian family in the West Bank watching the news with two of his host's sons.

He implies that there is a balance of bias between the way the supposedly pro-Israel media disseminates information from the Middle East and the way Hamas television reports its version of events. He states: "The abandoning of western media parlance... in favor of an entirely different lexicon was a rude awakening for me, having been fed on a vastly different diet over the years." (Freedman is a fairly recent immigrant to Israel from Britain.)

Freedman sees an equitable parallel between the Hamas broadcasts on the one hand and the Israel and Western media (he combines the two) on the other; they are basically two sides of the same coin. "...it would be "wholly understandable" if a viewer of al-Aqsa TV who tuned into any western station from the BBC to Sky News and beyond felt a mirror-image outrage simply because of the terms used to describe the conflict."

And regarding the news broadcast that he was watching with his host's sons, he adds, "...the terms used ...were indicative of how wide the gulf is between ordinary citizens "on either side of the divide".

Freedman's lengthy introduction leads up to his main point: the vocabulary that is used to describe the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is always unavoidably offensive to one side and acceptable to the other, due to the sides' different perspectives of the conflict. Thus, whenever Freedman tries "to call a spade a spade" he inevitably finds himself under fire from one side or the other. (Of course in his case the fire almost exclusively come from the Israeli side, because he rarely, if ever, has anything good to say about his newfound homeland.)

Freedman gives examples of his difficulty in calling a spade a spade. According to Freedman, the Palestinians are upset with the use of the terms settlers instead of colonists, and the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) instead of the more appropriate (according to Freedman) Israel Occupying Forces.

On the other hand, Israelis are upset with the term apartheid despite it being the more appropriate term for the situation in the West Bank (according to Freedman), and with the term pogrom to describe the destruction by the IDF in Palestinians villages, which is a term that Freedman believes has been "arrogated by certain Jewish people for their exclusive use, and only then in relation to the Jews' own historical suffering." (Freedman is apparently unaware that the term 'pogrom' entered English from Yiddish/Russian where it described the carnage of Jews in Eastern Europe.)

By his defense of these egregious descriptors, Freedman has set himself up as an apologist for the excesses of the Al-Aqsa station. In particular, his attempt to explain away the sensitivity of Israelis towards the careless use of the term 'pogrom' is inexcusable, considering that as a Jew and an Israeli he cannot claim ignorance.

Freedman concludes with one of his more remarkable statements. "While I understand how emotionally invested people (myself included) become when focusing on the conflict," he says, "we should not allow a situation where plainly-spoken facts are dismissed simply because the reader or viewer feels uncomfortable with the truth." In other words, those who reject the use of descriptors such as apartheid, Israel Occupying Forces, and pogroms, are clearly doing so because they are "uncomfortable with the truth". The possibility doesn't even enter Freedman's mind that they are rejecting these terms because they are uncomfortable with falsehoods.

While Freedman's most extreme allegations have been omitted here, he himself is a living rebuttal to his own claims. In Israel, he can call a spade a spade whenever he wishes; in fact he can even call it a pogrom. This is one of the benefits of living in a free society, - a privilege certainly not afforded by Hamas to the Gaza viewers of Al-Aqsa TV.

13 September 2008

A fairly standard battle cry on the Israeli roads is: "The person that gave you a driver license has to be killed!". I don't need to describe the situation relevant to this cry, do I?

The first thought I had reading the Haaretz article Jews attacking Jews by Antony Lerman wasn't totally dissimilar to that battle cry: who the heck is the editor that published this one? He definitely needs some killing. On the other hand, it could have been a slow day in the office of Haaretz, and this thing just happened in the inbox - who knows, let's be charitable.One cannot, of course, keep a straight face and blame the author - he is too daft, it looks like, to be held responsible for the drivel he spouts. For example:

When Jew-hatred is identified, it's mostly in the form of what many call the "new anti-Semitism" - essentially, anti-Zionism. Others (this writer included) fundamentally dispute that anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism are synonymous.

"Many" usually say that the new anti-Semitism is using anti-Zionism as a cover - not that all anti-Zionists are automatically anti-Semites. So "others" (Antony Lerman included) could go and screw themselves vigorously, instead of "fundamentally dispute" the false strawman these "others" created to publicly destroy to their own satisfaction.

Another good one:

Anything from strong criticism of Israel's policies, through sympathetic critiques of Zionism, to advocacy of a one-state solution for the Israel-Palestine conflict, is defined as anti-Zionism, when none of these positions are prima facie anti-Zionist.

So the advocates of a one-state solution are not anti-Zionist? Yeah. But in this passage Antony Lerman makes his dimness outstandingly clear:

The new EU-approved definition fundamentally subverts the term because to warrant the charge of anti-Semitism, it is sufficient to hold any view ranging from criticism of the policies of the current Israeli government, to denial of Israel's right to exist - without having to subscribe to any of the elements that historians have traditionally regarded as constituting an anti-Semitic view. And it puts out of bounds the perfectly legitimate discussion of whether increased anti-Semitism is a result of Israel's actions.

Notice the last sentence, which is a final giveaway: these pesky Israelis are making Lerman's life hard by their ill-considered behavior. Repeating many an anti-Zionist (and many an anti-Semitic) "thinker", starting with incomparable Seumas Milne who several years ago claimed that Jews in Europe would feel much better were Israel to behave...

Sometimes paparazzi, while seeking a scoop, provide (unwittingly as their nature is) information that spills new light on something totally unrelated to the subject they are excited about. This is what happened this time. Look at this picture:Taken quite a few years ago, it depicts Osama Bin Laden and his faithful sidekick Ayman al-Zawahiri during their careful and uncertain walk over the uneven and treacherous terrain of Afghani mountains.

But nature is kind and caring, making sure to give an even chance for those whose will to survive and persevere is strong. Coupled with Darwin's law, gene-modifying and not totally understood environment of the cave system in the area and cosmic rays, it took some years, but the result is a smasher. Behold the magic transformation of this pair, totally adapted to the harsh surroundings mentioned above:

The post title is a ripoff from Lenin's "To study, to study and once more to study", but you cannot ignore its wisdom and applicability to many situations. Like the one addressed by the UK Film Council's online Diversity Toolkit. This toolkit will guide you, my dear and rare reader, in your simplicity and nincompoopery, to the true meaning and practical implementation of the sacred Diversity.It even has a quiz that checks the depth of your understanding. I have gone through it and am not telling the results. Suffice to say that now I am able to expand the quiz by examples of my own. Here comes one:

You are a security guard / tickets checker in a movie theater. The several steps of the stairs leading to the entrance you guard are relatively high and may be an obstacle for a child or a smallish* person, while the building is not blessed by an arrangement that will enable a handicapped person or a child to get up the stairs. Now a vertically challenged (85 cm including heels and sombrero) Jewish gay person of color approaches the stairs and looks helplessly in your direction. Your choices are:

To make yourself looking busy with other customers entering the door (for example showing that tearing the control stub off is a difficult and consuming activity)

To throw something (ashtray?) at the VC (vertically challenged...) to make him go away

To tell him to bring his parents that may help him out with the stairs and stuff

Another British strike for multicul.. multicru... aw what the heck - for diversity.

The Rev Michael Reiss, a biologist and its [Royal Society] director of education, said it was self-defeating to dismiss as wrong or misguided the 10 per cent of pupils who believed in the literal account of God creating the Universe and all living things as related in the Bible or Koran. It would be better, he said, to treat creationism as a world view.

Totally correct. I, personally, am a closet Flat Earther (now you all know), and it is only fitting that Flat Earth model be studied in school.And what about the Brits, including some luminaries, that believe in 911 conspiracy? This too should become a part of the curriculum.And how about the Bigfoot?And that fake lunar landing?And...

No one does that trick of looking at the unwashed forinners down his nose better than some members of British establishment. Here comes Peregrine Worthstone, former editor of the Sunday Telegraph:

Did he consult the allies? Of course not. For even with the little knowledge that was available to him he must have known all too well that her qualities and talents were strictly for local consumption, and almost provocatively off-putting for the rest of the free world.

Whether McCain blundered or not is immaterial for the case at hand. But imagine, for instance, President Sarkozy being told off for not calling, say, Gordon Brown (the latter was chosen for comic effect really) to check Brown's opinion on choosing his PM or something in this vein. Sounds unbelievable, doesn't it?

As for the spectacular dreams some people have re Sarah Palin: I wish I got one of them. Instead, the only Sarah-related dream I had was where I was a boxing ring floor mat with four people fighting, running and jumping around upon my prostrate body.

We shall never know the rest of the sentence due to the sudden death of the Daily Cossacks' correspondent that expired due to an accidental discharge of a hunting rifle in his vicinity. Unless, of course, in the spirit of full disclosure Ms Palin decides... but no, this is too much to hope for.

I have stumbled on this story on Ananova yesterday, and cannot forget it since. Rarely have I seen another example of garbled writing that makes the incident more mysterious than it probably is.

Police in California have arrested a man for breaking into two farmworkers' home and stealing money before rubbing one of the men with spices and hitting the other with a sausage.

The writer tried to convey a lot of information in one sentence, so the sequence of the events is not clear at all. Was the burglar rubbing in the spices and hitting with a sausage at the same time? If not, what was his first act - after the money was stolen?Now to the motivation of the burglar. Rubbing someone's body with spices makes a lot of sense if you intend to cook and eat someone. Or you can eat someone uncooked, of course, like in steak Tartar. I suspect, though, that our burglar, like our writer, somehow mixed up the prescribed sequence of events - in short, he forgot to kill and to clean his dinner.

The second activity - hitting the other guy with a sausage - makes some sense, I guess. Probably our hero wanted some audio-visual background to go with his meal. His choice of an 8-inch sausage is appropriate and directly related to food, I submit. I distinctly remember a Hungarian meat dish that contained several kinds of meat and sausages artfully wrapped up... but I digress here.

Now that we put back some sense into the first part of the story, we can move on.

Lt Ian Burrimond says Antonio Vasquez, 22, was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks after the incident.

This short sentence raises a spate of new questions. Why would our hero (we can call him Antonio now, couldn't we?) hide in a field nearby? I think that Antonio fully intended (maybe still intends) to come back to the scene and continue with his dinner. He was just waiting for the unwanted intrusion of police to be over.

Of course, another legitimate question would be the reason for partial clothing state of Antonio. Since the dolt (we can safely call him/her dolt now, I guess) that has written the story for AP, couldn't find his/her own knickers without his/her editor, this vital question wasn't even asked, let alone answered. Pity. But I would venture another educated guess: the famworkers' bodies, when dismembered in the course of a meal, tend to release a lot of innards, liquids and other kinds of gore that could easily stain the consumer's clothes. Our Antonio, obviously being an exacting and meticulous person, made sure his shoes and trousers will remain unblemished. I must say that my sympathy to Antonio went up another notch. Not to mention his sensible choice of boxer shorts (the only important point our dolt of a writer didn't miss).

Yet another important question: why has the incident warranted involvement of such exalted police official as a Lieutenant? If the report, jumbled as it is, does not lie, there were no injuries to speak of - I mean, you cannot in all seriousness classify being rubbed by spices as an injury, some people I know of will even... but I digress again - so why a police luminary? I say there is more to the story than what was unearthed by our dolt. And again I have to come forth with an explanation. I am certain that there were more incidents of rubbing with spices and eating.

We are dealing here with a serial spice rubber cum cannibal!

Well, I hope that my essay, short as it was, spilled some light on the confusing and totally unsatisfactory report. I apologize for its shortness due to lack of time and lunch raising its ugly head. Of course, the late and incomparable Faulkner would have made a book of this undeniably thrilling story. But I have to round this post up.

Not before reflecting on a funny detail (again misinterpreted by the dolt):

Lt Burrimond said the money had been recovered but the weapon, the sausage, had been eaten by a dog.

Of course, the money has been recovered, since the owners remained alive and could verify it. But ascribing the disappearance of the sausage to a mysterious dog (I bet you whatever that the dog will be never found and charged) is really pathetic. Some police habits never die... 'nuf said.

I believe I have succeeded to dispel some of the confusion that reigned over the story. Mentioning confusion:

Yeah, that's it, isn't it?

P.S. On the other hand, the locale of the incident is Fresno, which is in California. This alone explains a lot. Oh well.