This Is Life As We Know Ithttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com
Photos, Words And Tutorials On Life. Thu, 17 Aug 2017 13:56:41 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://thislifeasweknowitblog.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/cropped-12234992_1199066780107967_2755329090216822306_n.jpg?w=32This Is Life As We Know Ithttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com
3232Conflict Resolution 101 || Tips, Tricks & Advicehttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/15/conflict-resolution-101/
https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/15/conflict-resolution-101/#commentsTue, 15 Aug 2017 08:00:32 +0000http://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/?p=2367Continue reading Conflict Resolution 101 || Tips, Tricks & Advice]]>I love looking into human behavior, speech patterns and actions. They tell a lot about people and basically demonstrate their inner selves. After doing some communication study last year, this year and in my own free time I’ve compiled an easy go-to guide for resolving conflict and what to do if it doesn’t work out very well. Please enjoy!

In this post I’ll explain and give examples of what to do, things to avoid, things to look out for and how to deal with the uncooperative. I’ve created a worksheet you can use here! conflict resolution

What started the conflict?

Was it a behavior, an emotion, a situation? understand what actually happened and take the time to reflect on that. Could it have been avoided, if so, how? What would lessen the impact? What triggered it? Are you making assumptions and reading too deeply into something that isn’t there? Were you just having a bad day when it happened? These are the things you need to know before confronting the person/s at hand of the situation. This can take an hour to a month to actually realise everything. Take your time.

What are the facts?

This is important, if you don’t have actual facts or evidence then you don’t have any grounds to work on or do anything with. Detach your emotions away from the facts and compile them in a list. So instead of, “I feel like….” you look into it as “it happened like this….” and so on. Take absolutely every emotion out of the facts, that comes in later and can destroy any facts you have. Assumptions and accusations are not facts so they fall under emotions. Using the above, take the facts out of that and you’ll be amazed that there is either more to the conflict or less to the conflict. Also, take the time to look at the things you have done wrong in this situation, not just the other person/s, it’s important to take responsibility for your actions.

What are the emotions?

Now this is when your emotions are important. Look at the facts and understand how you feel about them and look at how the other person would feel about them. Conflict resolution isn’t just about you and your side, it’s their side too. So you could work with something like “When this happened I felt …… and I understand you would have felt …. “. This might sound complicated, but don’t assume how they felt. Look at their behaviour around you and/or the situation and you can pick it up from there. Don’t make your feelings invalid, they matter just as much as the other persons.

Are there any solutions?

You can’t resolve conflict without having a few solutions up your sleeve, this also involves working with the other person/s. Is there a way it can be avoided in the future? What’s the best way to go about it? Do you know the other person well enough to know how they would deal with it? Ask yourself what you want as a solution and figure out how to present it. Using things like “I think this can be avoided by …. what do you think?” or “I have a few solutions for the situation and I want to know your thoughts on them ….” Never confront without having solutions. Never.

What if….?

Okay, so what if they aren’t the type of person you can reason with and get them to understand things? That one is hard. You really have to change your approach in a way that can’t be twisted or create miscommunication. If they don’t want to see your side, still give it to them. They might not listen now but sometimes in the future, people realise things and that might be one of them. Sometimes these people need more time to handle things or more time to reflect on themselves and change for the better.

Taking responsibility for yourself

Always take responsibility for yourself and be mature about these things. Nothing good ever comes from ignoring people, avoiding people and not being a decent person. It’s important to know where you stuffed up and realise that maybe what you did isn’t okay and ignoring it won’t make it go away. If the other person isn’t taking responsibility for themselves, don;t force them or guilt them. Over time, people realise what went wrong and will sometimes try and fix these things. It doesn’t always go that way, but if you did what you could, that’s all that matters.

Now let’s put it all together!

This is the fun/scary/anxious/terrifying part, the time that you actual confront them. There’s 2 ways of doing this. The first way is to be a gigantic asshole about it, and the second way is to form a logical and constructive ‘argument’ that gets your point across assertively whilst being nice.

Starting off with a “Do you have time to talk about what happened?” or “There’s a few things I want to discuss with you, if you’re feeling up to it” can be a good start. You show your intentions without causing more conflict.

Then jump into the facts. “This is what happened from my side and I’d like to see your side of the facts” or “I understand that this this and this happened, I contributed to this by …. and I know you contributed to this by …. what is your side of the facts?” are a good template to formulate the discussion from.

Bring in your emotions now. “It made me feel like …. when …. happened.” or “I didn’t appreciate you doing …. and I don’t understand why….” or “I just feel like ….. when you do this and I don’t like it”. You could do this part in so many ways but be careful not to be an asshole. It’s also important to ask them how they felt, “How did that make you feel when I did ….” or “How would you feel if I did the things you did to me, to you?” or something like that. Make sure you actually listen and acknowledge the other person/s feelings and thoughts. If the conflict isn’t over, you haven’t listened to each other or accepted each others side.

Almost at the end now! Bring in your solutions. “I thought a great way of dealing with this is ….” or “In the future a great way to avoid this is …”. Be reasonable, don’t ask for a lot but also don’t expect a lot. There’s only so much you can do depending on the situation. You’re just making it easier on yourself and the other person. You don’t even have to like the other person, just dealing with that conflict will make you more mentally healthy (trust me on that, mentally healthy people don’t hold grudges or hold things against people).

Last but not least, ask them what their thoughts are at the end and explain yours. Are you happy that it was discussed in length? What would you change? Is there anything you can do for each other that works? Even tell each other about how resolved the situation actually is. It’s healthy to talk about these things with the actual person/s involved than to pressure it onto someone else.

Don’t do these during conflict resolution:

Yell or scream

Make accusations without having evidence

Assume

Choose how the other person is feeling

Bring others into the situation that aren’t in the facts

Discredit the feelings and thoughts of the other person

Lie

Guilt

Shame

Name call

Be unapproachable

Do these during conflict resolution:

Ask for feedback

Value the emotions and thoughts

Offer ideas

Be honest

Understand all perspectives

Try and find positives

Support each other whilst doing it

Have someone else in the room or screen shot messages to prevent miscommunication, lying or false story telling

Listen to each other

Be assertive but polite

I hope this may have helped, it’s very hard to get into the habit of doing but it can be an advantage. I honestly believe conflict resolution should be a skill everyone should be taught. It worth writing all of the parts of this down and even having it on you at the time you choose to talk to the person/s involved in the situation. As easy as it can be to shut the other person/s off and ignore their side, it’s important to know it and take it in. It’s how we grow as people. If people don’t understand or don’t try to, let it go and forget about them. Sometimes they do the work of cutting themselves of for you.

“You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything.”

“No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push it just the same.”

“I wanted people to trust me, despite anything they’d heard. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors. To see beyond the relationships I once had, or maybe still had but that they didn’t agree with.”

“You can hear rumors. But you can’t know them.”

“But sometimes there’s nothing left to do but move on.”

“Normally when a person has a stellar image another person’s waiting in the wings to tear them apart. They’re waiting for that one fatal flaw to expose itself.”

“When you hold people up for ridicule, you have to take responsibility when other people act on it.”

“But I need to wake up somehow. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s best to get through the day half-asleep. Maybe that’s the only way to get through today.”

“If you could hear other people’s thoughts, you’d overhear things that are true as well as things that are completely random. And you wouldn’t know one from the other. It’d drive you insane. What’s true? What’s not? A million ideas, but what do they mean?”

“Because I’ve heard so many stories that I don’t know which one is the most popular. But I do know which is the least popular. The truth.”

“And at some point, the struggle becomes too much-too tiring-and you consider letting go. Allowing tragedy… or whatever… to happen.”

“And what about you-the rest of you-did you notice the scars you left behind? No. Probably not. Because most of them can’t be seen with the naked eye”

“Maybe it’s not as important to you as it was for me, but that’s not for you to decide.”

“Everything about it was false. Right then, in that office, with the realization that no one knew the truth about my life, my thoughts about the world were shaken.”

“I didn’t humiliate him by pointing it out because that’s not how you treat friends. You don’t judge them. You don’t humiliate them. I bet he’s been judging me all along.”

“It’s important to be aware of how we treat others. Even though someone appears to shrug off a sideways comment or to not be affected by a rumor, it’s impossible to know everything else going on in that person’s life, how we might be adding to his/her pain. People do have an impact on the lives of others; that’s undeniable.”

“And what about you-the rest of you-did you notice the scars you left behind? No. Probably not.”

“Now, why would a dead girl lie?
Hey! That sounds like a joke. Why would a dead girl lie? Answer: Because she can’t stand up.”

]]>https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/14/my-favourite-13-reasons-why-quotes/feed/0daniellehingeTaking Responsibility For Your Lifehttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/08/taking-responsibility-for-your-life/
https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/08/taking-responsibility-for-your-life/#respondTue, 08 Aug 2017 00:00:19 +0000http://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/?p=2365Continue reading Taking Responsibility For Your Life]]>Being an adult is all about taking responsibility for yourself and not being a shitty person. Through all my traumatic events in life the biggest one I've dealt with is the need to take responsibility for myself and making sure others take responsibility for themselves. You learn quite a lot about yourself when you start taking responsibility for yourself.

A lot of people find it easier to have a go and rip into people who have nothing to do with their own situation, just because it's easier to throw accusations and your anger out on others than dealing with your own problems. This says a lot about a person, how they deal with their problems and anger. If you're finding yourself doing the above, it means you lack emotional intelligence and you'd be surprised how many people lack it. It can be hard to change your attitude and look at your emotions differently but once you get the hang of it, you'll notice drastic changes in yourself and how you deal with things.

Take time to reflect on every time you've blamed someone else for something going wrong in your life, why did you blame them? Did they walk into that chapter of your life and it felt fitting? It's important to acknowledge our downfalls in life and deal with them accordingly.

I've also learnt a huge part of taking responsibility of your life is not holding grudges. It's kind of like drinking poison and hoping the other person is affected by the side effects. It does nothing but create a toxic environment for yourself and you're pretty much just digging yourself a huge hole. Forgiving someone brings you a level of peace you need to function with in life, you don't need to do it for them, but for yourself.

Knowing when enough is enough and drawing a line for your inner peace is super important in taking responsibility for your own life. You do things for you. You're allowed to be selfish in the regard, you need to do what you can to maintain happiness and peace in yourself. Living life being anything but happy is so hard and complicated, and as someone currently seeing a psychologist, I know how important it is to realise my own emotions and the affects of everything going on in my life. This leads me to my next point…

Taking control and seeing a psychologist when you need to is super important also. Sometimes, we don't know the actual affects of something that's happened to us unless we talk about it. Speaking to someone outside of your family and normal life is create for this. Finding a great psychologist that suits you is an important step in the right direction. Taking control of those feelings and situations and learning how to take the edge off of them can really add a lot of positivity to your life. It adds a layer to your life you didn't even know you had.

Self reflection is the key to success is taking responsibility for yourself. I like to use the Gibbs Reflective Cycle which you can read about here. That way, you can empty out the entire situation or emotion completely and figure out if there's anything you can or could have done and then deal with that. If you can reflect and challenge yourself regularly, you'll improve and get yourself into a healthy habit for life.

Having constant short term and long term goals can keep you focused and on the right path for success. You'll find the happiest people are those that create and achieve their goals on a regular basis. Creating goals can be exhausting trying to figure out what it is you want to achieve but that's all part of the feeling of success, realising what it is exactly that you want to do with your life. Those who do nothing with their lives that just live Day to day are usually the most unsatisfied with life. Take control!

Apologise for the important things, no matter how big or little it is, take control of how you treat people. Let them know when you've done wrong by them, and if they've done wrong by you they may just apologise back. Even if they don't, don't worry about that. Knowing you're the bigger person to apologise is super important. Super important seems to be my favourite phrase for this post.

As I return into my nursing studies for semester 2 in a months time, I've scheduled multiple posts (including this one) to be published so expect quite a few posts coming up! But the time this post is published, I will be studying.

]]>https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/08/taking-responsibility-for-your-life/feed/0daniellehingeQuotes For Everyday And Every Situationhttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/quotes-for-everyday-and-every-situation/
https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/quotes-for-everyday-and-every-situation/#respondThu, 03 Aug 2017 00:00:02 +0000http://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/?p=2364Continue reading Quotes For Everyday And Every Situation]]>I love quotes, I use them all the time. In my diary, for my Facebook statuses, for Instagram posts, everything! So here's some personal favourites! These are quotes for literally any occasion and you'll be surprised how much quotes actually inspire you to change…

These are quotes I've found over the years and they really do help!

“You don't have to knock anyone off their game to win yours. It doesnt build you up to tear others down.”

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

"Don't project your insecurities on other people, take responsibility for yourself"

"Excuses don't get results"

“You Learn More From Failure Than From Success. Dont Let It Stop You. Failure Builds Character.”

"Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you"

"Good things come to people who wait, but better things come to those who go out and get them"

"If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you"

"Don't wait for an opportunity, create it"

"I can and I will"

"Stars can't shine without darkness"

"You can't open a new chapter if you keep re-reading the past"

"A tiger does not lose sleep over the opinions of sheep"

"Weak people seek revenge, strong people forgive and intelligent people ignore"

"You are amazing and don't you forget it"

"Live life to the fullest and focus on the positive"

"One day or day one, you choose"

"Dreams and dedication are a powerful combination"

"Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people"

"Do things on your own and don't fear being alone"

"Grow through what you go through"

"Be strong but not rude, be kind but not weak, be humble but not timid and be proud but not arrogant"

"Stay positive, work hard and make it happen"

"Be the type of person you want to meet"

"Don't ruin a good today by thinking of a bad yesterday"

"Do not judge my story on the chapter you walked into"

"It hurts more to hold a grudge than to forgive. The anger inside damages us, nobody else."

"I don't hold grudges, you just become irrelevant"

"If people are trying to bring you down, it means you're above them"

"It's so nice when toxic people stop talking to you, it's like the trash took itself out"

"Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out"

"Take pride in how far you've come, and have faith in how far you can go"

"A little progress each day adds up to big results"

"Do all that you can and all that you thought you could not"

"Your best accomplishment isn't that you finished, it's that you had the courage to start"

]]>https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/quotes-for-everyday-and-every-situation/feed/0daniellehingeGibbs Reflective Cyclehttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/31/gibbs-reflective-cycle/
https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/31/gibbs-reflective-cycle/#respondMon, 31 Jul 2017 00:00:59 +0000http://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/?p=2334Continue reading Gibbs Reflective Cycle]]>If you’ve never heard of it before, it’s a life saver! It’s a great reflective tool that can be used for a variety of things, such as arguments, embarrassing moments, failing, bullying etc etc. This has helped me out a lot as it’s kind of like manually thinking, you really have to think deeply and write it all down. This is all one continuous cycle so you can repeat the process as much as you need.

This is a great coping strategy for all of life’s stressful moments and over thinking. It gets your feelings out and in the open for you to deal with as you please.

So here we go….

Description

What happened? Go into as much or as little detail as you need about what exactly happened.

Feelings

What were you feeling and thinking? What went through your mind as it unfolded, how does it affect you?

Evaluation

What was good and bad about the experience? Go through the pros and cons of what happened, you may find more things laying on the inside than on the surface of what happened.

Analysis

What else can you make of the situation? Is there something underlying the issue? How will it affect you long term?

Conclusion

What else could you have done? Could you have been more honest? Could you have gone about the situation differently?

Action Plan

If it rose again what would you do? How would you deal with it next time? What changes would you make? How would you change your thinking?

There’s plenty of videos on Youtube if you need an example of how to do this! I’d give an example but I’m sure you can see how personal this activity is…

I hope this has helped you deal with any situations or give you ideas for in the future. Stay tuned for more reflective exercises coming soon!

]]>https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/31/gibbs-reflective-cycle/feed/0Untitled-1daniellehingeUntitled-1Songs That Get Me Through The Hard Dayshttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/26/songs-that-get-me-through-the-hard-days/
https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/26/songs-that-get-me-through-the-hard-days/#respondWed, 26 Jul 2017 11:36:53 +0000http://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/?p=2362Continue reading Songs That Get Me Through The Hard Days]]>Today I'm sharing with you some of the songs I listen to when I'm having a hard day, and the specific lyric that speaks to me. I've also linked the songs so have a listen!

Never be the same by Crowded House Listen here!"But we might still surviveAnd rise up through the mazeIf you could change your lifeAnd never be the same"

Mixed up by Hannah Montana Listen here!"To hold me, tell me everything's gonna be okay'Cause today it feels like I won't make it through the darknessDon't know how to get outta this"

Life's what you make it by Hannah Montana Listen here!"With a new attitude everything can changeMake it how you want it to beStay mad, why do that? Give yourself a breakLaugh about it and you'll see"

Nobody wants to by Crowded House Listen here!"And we're losing some faithWe used to cryWe used to say whyFor all I knowI might not get homeBut I found outIf we opened it up, we could work this out"

The devil you know by Split Enz Listen here!"Live for the day we throw caution to the windAll we need is the courage to beginI might get hurt but never be scared againAt once to feel the pleasure and the pain"

You get what you give by New Radicals Listen here!"This world is gonna pull throughDon't give upYou've got a reason to liveCan't forgetWe only get what we give"

Shot at the night by The KillersListen here!"Once in a lifetime, the breaking of the roofTo find that our home, has long been out grownDraw me a life line, 'cause honey I got nothing to loseOnce in a lifetime"

Shine by Vanessa Amorosi Listen here!"Grow up and make the best of what you've gotOf what you've got, Of what you've gotThe days are going by and you're sittin' on your arse And you're wondering why, why, why, yeah"

Feel by Robbie Williams Listen here!"I just wanna feelReal love feel the home that I live in'Cause I got too much lifeRunning through my veinsGoing to wasteI don't wanna dieBut I ain't keen on living either"

Dreams by Van HalenListen here!"Standing on broken dreamsNever losin' sight, ahSpread your wingsWe'll get higher and higherStraight up we'll climbWe'll get higher and higherLeave it all behind"

Better by The Screaming JetsListen here!"Now you can see the reason why not everyone's the sameAnd you don't have to please them, or try hard to save your name"

On a mission by Gabriella Cilmi Listen here!"I'm gonna lay it on the lineI won't give up without a fight'Cause I can see the finish lineWon't stop till I make you mineTo read the writing on the wall I'm ready here and standing tallSo people think they know it allSo I guess I'll have to show them all"

love that lets go by Hannah Montana Listen here!"It's time to move on and even though I'm not readyI've got to be strong and trust where you're headingEven though it's not easyRight now the right kind of loveIs a love that lets go, go"

Scream by Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson Listen here!"Tired of injusticeTired of the schemesYour lies are disgustingWhat does it meanKicking me downI gotta get upAs jacked as it soundsThe whole system sucks"

This is who I am by Vanessa Amorosi Listen here!"but then I learnt, after being burntto get back up and push straight onstop the tears people move on, on"

Love this life by Crowded House Listen here!"Pedal my faithThe wheels are still turning round, turn roundAnd maybe the day will comeWhen you'll never have to feel no painAfter all my complainingGonna love this life"

Don't stop now by Crowded House Listen here!"Sometimes you have to turn the wrong way roundSometimes you get too close to nowhere now"

That's freedom by John FarnhamListen here!"It's a song of the heartA race in the windA light in the darkThat's freedom"

Don't let the sun go down on me by Elton John Listen here!"Don't let the sun go down on meAlthough I searched myself, it's always someone else I seeI'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander freeBut losing everything is like the sun going down on me"

As the days go by Daryl BraithwaiteListen here!"Sure as the wind keeps on changing directionI've come to understand, there's no such a thing as perfectionAnd what went on beforeDoesn't matter anymore"

Lift by Shannon NollListen here!"'Cause I know how hard it can getBut you gotta liftYou gotta liftAnd sometimes that's how it isBut I know you're strongerStronger than thisYou gotta liftYou gotta lift"

These are the songs I felt were the most important to include, let me know your thoughts and songs that get you through your hard days.

Sometimes we need to be bring our feet back on the ground and realise all the things we have, compared to what we don’t. Practicing gratitude is so important for that reason, it keeps you grounded.

Most of the time, let’s be honest, we focus on the negatives in our life and in affect, some of us blame other people for the problems in our lives. That’s why today I present to you easy ways to practice gratitude.

Create a list

Each morning, or every few mornings, take the time to write down everything that you already have. This can be loved ones, friends, a roof over you head, food on your table etc etc you get the picture.

Imagine the things you have

This is self explanatory, instead of writing it down you just literally think about them. Picture the roof over your head, picture yourself eating etc etc.

Let people know

Tell the people around you what you’re grateful of, and that you’re grateful that person is in your life and what your reasons are.

My gratitude list

I’m thankful that…
I have a roof over my head every night
I have food to eat every day
I can afford to continue doing my hobby
I’m studying the course to gain the job of my dreams
I have a job to earn money
I have an extremely supportive family
I have the kind of friends I’ve always wanted
I can wear my favourite style of clothing and not be judged
I can share my hobby with the world
I have constant support and help
I experienced bullying, so that I now choose very selectively the people around me and I know when people are negative/toxic to me
I experienced death, that way I knew what it means to be alive and understand not to take people for granted
I experienced (and continue to) mental illness so that I can further my understanding of people and myself

]]>https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/24/gratitude-how-to/feed/0daniellehingeUntitled-1An Essay On Mental Ilnesshttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/20/an-essay-on-mental-ilness/
https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/20/an-essay-on-mental-ilness/#respondThu, 20 Jul 2017 00:00:58 +0000http://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/?p=2219Continue reading An Essay On Mental Ilness]]>This essay has been inspired by finding past notes I had written at my lowest point, and the return of some of these feelings. This is going to be long, emotional and hard to write but I just need to. Some people will relate and others will perhaps find it to be a learning curb. If you need help at any time, there are many hotlines that can be contacted 24/7.

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”

Do you know how it feels to wake up every day wishing you didn’t? Do you know what it’s like to be depressed, suicidal and dealing with bullying that borderlines abuse? I did. Every breath I took seemed to prolong the feeling of not wanting to be here. Every step I took made life feel nothing but heavy. 90% of the people around me made me question why I was even alive. I couldn’t do it anymore.

Do you know how it feels to be at the lowest point in your life and see through a black tunnel that seemed to go on forever with a lack of light or future? I did. In between feelings of sadness and anger, I felt nothing. Actual nothing. You know when you close your eyes and it’s just blackness? That’s what I felt. I can’t explain it right, it was so different to how I normally felt that I can’t find the right words.

Do you know what it feels like to have people make you feel invalid and guilty for what they were doing to you? Like you were the reason that they CHOSE to act a certain way to you? I did. In fact, it was sadistic. Traumatic and sadistic. I remember one quote vividly, “Don’t try and drag me down with you” is something a ‘friend’ told me. Who everyday found a way to make me feel like shit. That’s the quote I received when I stood up for myself and asked why I was being treated badly. That person was going through something themselves which I tried to help them with, but some people find it easier to give other people shit than to look into themselves and realise they have a problem/s that need to be dealt with.

Do you know what it feels like to have someone play games with you mentally? I did. They would act like my friend when it suited them, talked to me when it suited them, bullied me when it suited them, lie to me and spread lies when it suited them.

Life was hard, existing was hard, breathing, walking and eating were hard. I couldn’t concentrate and everyone was against me. At this time people were actually against me which then in affect made me think people who weren’t, were against me too. It’s a fine, fine line.

I drew to get out of me the demons that had sewn themselves into my very core that didn’t seem to budge. I lost who I was and what I was. Every time I added a cut to my arm felt like 3 seconds of relief, feeling like a human. You cut and you bleed. It’s something you don’t really understand until you’ve been there. You don’t kn

ow why you feel like that but you just do. My first thought wasn’t depression. I didn’t know what it was, I just wanted answers. This is a photo of something I drew a week before I attempted suicide.
I wasn’t in a good place. I was living every nightmare that you read about or see movies about. I experienced a life I never want to return to.

Attempting suicide was no easy feat. I had gotten so low that I decided my only option was to die. Not an easy choice to make or think about. You live in a world where nothing matters, where your life just doesn’t mean anything. You feel so hopeless and pathetic. Stigma makes you feel even worse.

It was a weird experience, I’m not going to give details but I will explain the emotional side. I thought it would be easy to do the thing that will kill me and that’s it, done. I got about halfway or so through my attempt and something in my brain clicked. I felt human with proper emotions I was used to, I stopped. I laid on the floor and cried my eyes out realising that I could have actually died. I realised that I didn’t want to die, I wanted my feelings to die. I wanted to become a different person. I no longer wanted to exist in my skin. That’s what many people aren’t aware of when talking about mental illness, it isn’t the idea of not being here it’s the idea of wanting the rock on your shoulders to go away.

A lot of my ‘friends’ turned on me during this time and sided with my bullies. Apparently it was just easier to target someone than to face their own problems. I ended up going to school every day wondering who would turn on me next and what new rumour people could spin. These people cared more about me to make lies and rumours than I did myself. It was part of the reason I came home from school one day with the intention to go through with it and end my life.A lot of people anger me with this, that suicide is selfish and a cowardly way out. You can tell a lot about people by what they say about suicide, honestly. It’s not cowardly, you want your pain to end. But in saying that, please get help before you attempt suicide. It’s not fun and not a great place to be in. Please get help that you need.

When you try to wrap your head around watching your loved one die then deal with this, it makes for a lot of trauma that doesn’t go away for a long time. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder entered my life and still partly remains. People don’t really understand the affects of bullying until they go through with it, or someone they know goes through with it. Sometimes, people who got bullied in the past bully others. I don’t understand why, if you know how it feels?

Every morning, I’d wake up and stare at my ceiling wondering what the purpose to life was, I’d get up and get dressed and not eat breakfast. I’d sit on the bus for an hour and a half listening to my inner thoughts become louder than the music I had playing. I got to school and saw the people that inflicted abuse on me day in day out and wondered why I had to deal with their behaviour. I sat in class doing nothing, feeling nothing and wanting to go nowhere but at the same time be somewhere else. In all honesty, the only person who made me feel human was my boyfriend, and even then it felt different. I then got back on a bus for another hour and a half and repeated the mornings activities. I got home and reclused in my bedroom till the next day. Wash, rinse and repeat.

DO you know what it’s like to go through emotions (or lack thereof) and not understand why or how? That was me. I didn’t get it. I had mild depression a few years earlier that came in the form of anger rather than feeling nothing or suicidal. I didn’t think this was depression, just the affects of the death or bullying. I didn’t see going to therapy as important as I figured I could deal with this myself. I couldn’t, and it got worse.

A few weeks before the suicide attempt I started going to counselling. At first it wasn’t for me. The counsellor never let me get a word in and I felt even worse. Even that person wouldn’t even listen to me. A few weeks after the attempt I finally started seeing a better counsellor, someone who spoke to me on the level a bestfriend would and made me feel like I could scream and cry and that it was okay. I slowly started seeing the light in the end of the tunnel, I started seeing a future, I started to think properly again. I felt like I was returning. With that, came great challenges. I had to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be, something I still work on today.

Throughout the entire course of sessions, I was told that antidepressants would be available, I figured that if I was going to deal with this I’d do it myself. Everybody is different, and for me I managed to get through with it without medication. It was very hard and took a lot of will power but I got through it.

Mental illness made me realise a lot of things, people react and behave in a way that suits them and usually no one else, that things really do happen for a reason, that being yourself is so important, that having a hobby is the key to life. I learnt so much. I also learnt that depression does have a way of coming back, no matter how prepared you think you are to deal with it.

I had to manually change my thinking process, relearn what I liked and what I didn’t like and how I dealt with things. I had to learn who I was completely. That’s the part no one seems to talk about. That in reality you are a brand new person. That you are now capable of doing so many new and exciting things. I became who I always wanted to be, I started wearing the clothes I wanted, I had my hair how I wanted it, I had my makeup how I wanted it, I had the boyfriend I wanted and I chose who my friends were.

However, PTSD had its own ideas on my life. Still to this day I protect what people have access to about me, I cut off people as soon as I deem them a risk to what I’ve built for myself, sometimes I don’t leave my house or only go to certain places so I don’t come into contact with the people that brought me trauma in my past.

Lately, my depression and anxiety have made themselves known and I’ve started seeing a full on psychologist, and crack open things that I kept to myself even back then. When you do a mental heath plan you get asked questions about everything traumatic that’s happened in your life and even things that didn’t affect you, the good parts in life. You don’t realise how things affect you till you think about them deeply enough. As stubborn as I am about antidepressants, I’ve been told that if I don’t show any visible improvements in the first few weeks that I’d have no choice but to take them, as I’ve been gaining physical symptoms rather than just the emotional. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

I didn’t quite know how this was going to go, what I was going to write about or how I would. But here it is, pretty much a splatter of my brain on one webpage. If you like, feel free to share experiences you’ve had in the past or now, you aren’t alone. Do what works for you and get the help you need. There’s nothing to be ashamed about or scared about when seeking help. Some people don’t get help because they think it doesn’t work, if it doesn’t work try a new style of therapy or a new psychologist. Do it for you.

]]>https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/20/an-essay-on-mental-ilness/feed/0daniellehingeimg_6991Untitled-1Student Nurse Must-Haveshttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/17/student-nurse-must-haves/
https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/17/student-nurse-must-haves/#respondMon, 17 Jul 2017 00:00:13 +0000http://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/?p=2140Continue reading Student Nurse Must-Haves]]>Being prepared and organised as a student nurse is so important. That’s why I’m here to show you my nursing must-haves that make it all possible! I will supply links where available!

Referencing Book

This will really help you with essays. A good book that shows you how to reference every type of thing possible will be the most helpful thing you have.

Course Information Folder

In this folder I keep all my immunisation records, course descriptors and some really helpful printouts. It’s really handy having everything in one spot and easy to turn to when needed!

Printouts

These free printouts are incredibly helpful. They make essay planning quicker and easier, keeping track of grades and other things! You can get these from here!

Physical Textbooks

I recommend getting the actual textbooks over using online ones or not using them a lot. You can highlight, flag pages and come back to them at any point and I find them super helpful.

A Standard Page Layout

Having a standard page layout is really handy so that your notes are easy to read and everything is all set out neatly. I used some inspirations from Pinterest. Check out mine here!

A Study/Work Schedule

Making a schedule of when to study and do work is important in keeping you motivated and maintaining a routine. For this I use the semester planner printout which can be seen above!

A Hobby

It’s so important to have a hobby outside of what you’re studying, something that you can just do and not have to think about anything that’s stressing you out. For me, it’s photography. I’ll touch on this further in the future but having a hobby is such an underestimated thing; we all need something to do that clears our heads. I took the above photo and it’s one of my favourites.

A Planner/Diary

This is actually the most important thing here. I have an Erin Condren life planner and it takes the stress out of organising my life. It helps with keeping a routine, due dates, appointments, work and general notes! I also use mine as a mood tracker for my mental health.

A Clean Space

I keep the area I work in and study in neat and tidy as strangely enough, I seem to focus better and get everything done! Plus decorating your space is super important to feel comfortable.

A Good Bag

It’s important to have a bag that will fit everything you need on the day of your classes, for me it’s my satchel bag! I’ll be doing a ‘what’s in my uni bag’ in the future so keep an eye out for that post too! It’s also important not to break your shoulder or back with your books which leads me to my next point..

Find A Book Setup That Works For You

In the first semester I played around with a large folder for every subject which can be found in a previous post here! But that set up started being a pain with carrying them around and always having to spread out a lot on tables. This semester I’ve opted for exercise books per class and a single folder for handouts and printouts.

I hope this has helped anyone starting nursing or already studying nursing. I find all of these things important to me and they may be important to you, too!

]]>https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/17/student-nurse-must-haves/feed/0img_3702daniellehingeimg_6913-1img_6914img_6920-1img_6113img_6073img_6921-1img_6922-1Untitled-1Budget Decorating For The Erin Condren Life Planner || Student Editionhttps://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/09/budget-decorating-for-the-erin-condren-life-planner-student-edition/
https://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/09/budget-decorating-for-the-erin-condren-life-planner-student-edition/#respondSun, 09 Jul 2017 04:39:27 +0000http://thislifeasweknowitblog.wordpress.com/?p=2096Continue reading Budget Decorating For The Erin Condren Life Planner || Student Edition]]>I absolutely love my Erin Condren Life Planner, and decorating it has been a lot of fun as well as therapeutic. Today, I’m going to show you how I decorated my planner based around my nursing studies. So sit back, relax and be prepared to spend some money!

This is the washi tape I bought from eBay, this all cost $11 including the ones I already used up. If you shop around, you can get some pretty cheap decorations around the web.

This is the layout I have for the next year and a half. I have colour coded different dates and as my next semester hasn’t started yet, I haven’t got all my uni dates in so it looks a bit empty throughout my planner.

I’m going to start with August, I went pretty crazy with decorations for that month and you’ll see I toned down a bit in the following months. I use the side tabs for my classes, and the notes section as a homework section. That way, it’s all set out in plain sight and easy to digest!

I use the end page of the month to record my highest scores, thoughts, ideas and a mood tracker.

And this is the rest of my designs!

Everything used I paid for myself, you can find the washi tape here and here.