How a conversation about my son’s favorite singer- Elvis Presley- helped me teach him a valuable lesson about drugs (and honest communication, and rock and roll…)

Elvis is still the King. (public domain photo)

Resisting Pop Culture

In general I resist pop culture as it pushes our kids to grow up too damned fast. I do my best to shield my 8 year old, Nick, from the coarsening effects of pop culture, and I suspect you do as well. But it is really hard to do.

Paul Mifsud, Senior Counsel, Labor Relations for Major League Baseball was nice enough to speak with me about their paternity leave policy. One of Paul’s primary responsibilities is working with teams and the players on rules changes within the game of baseball, ranging from drug programs to instant replay to paternity leave. He’s also a busy working father of three. I greatly appreciate his time.

In my opinion, MLB hit a home run with its paternity leave policy (Photo credit: gargudojr)

For the past few months, I’ve been reporting on players who use Major League Baseball’s Paternity Leave Policy and have repeatedly praised MLB for their high-profile support of working dads. Could you summarize Major League Baseball’s paternity leave policy?

Prior to the 2011 season, when Major League Baseball first implemented the Paternity List, most Clubs allowed players several days of paid leave upon the birth and adoption of a child, but were required to play short when the player was absent. The establishment of the Paternity List enables Clubs to replace players who are granted leave for a maximum of three days, while continuing to pay the players and maintain a full roster of active players during the leave period.

How do you explain to a 5 year old boy that you can’t afford what his friends have because you’ve prioritized family time over financial rewards? Here’s one dad’s story. This is a guest post by Aaron Gouveia that originally appeared at his blog,DaddyFiles.com on July 8th, 2013.

Guest blogger Aaron Gouveia of Daddyfiles.com

What good is a fancy car if you only drive it to the office and back? What’s the point of buying your kids all the best toys if you’re not there to play along with them? And what good is that huge house if you’re never home to dance with your wife in the kitchen or chase the kids around that gargantuan playroom?

“Dad, are we poor?”

The question itself doesn’t bother me one bit. It’s an honest and insightful question that comes from a place of innocence and genuine curiosity often inhabited by 5-year-olds. It was the anxiety-riddled expression he wore on his face, and the hint of fear buried just below the inflection in his voice that did me in.

Many corporate cultures make it hard for dads to balance work and family. Let’s not compound the problem by also trapping ourselves. Here are 4 ways to avoid exacerbating our work-family struggles.

My cat’s been an indoor cat so long, she doesn’t even try to go outside when we leave the door open. photo credit: flossyflotsam via photopincc

A Harvard Debate

I recently wrote an article for the Harvard Business Review Blog Network*. In it, I discuss men’s flexibility stigma– that is, men who make use of workplace flexibility for family reasons often face negative perceptions and tangible repercussions, even moreso than women.

I then call for working dads who have job security and credibility to start to chip away at rigid company cultures so that it becomes more normal to talk about fathers’ work-family issues. This is a first step, I believe, in a long-term process of making more employers more amenable to work-family concerns.

Overall, the article was very well-received- tons of shares, tweets and comments, almost all of which were complimentary. Many said the piece resonated with them and thanked me for raising this important but under-publicized issue. But there was some debate as well. One commenter:

You’re serious about spending 20 hours a week on a non-work, non-family activity that causes stress and borderline psychotic behavior? Just say NO! With football season fast approaching, it’s time to revisit the dangers of “The Fantasy Football Time Suck”

Time Suck– (n) Something that’s engrossing and addictive, but that keeps you from doing things that are actually important, like earning a living, or eating meals, or caring for your children. (from UrbanDictionary.com)

Sharpening the Saw

The greatest challenge we face in being both a good provider an a present father is that there never seems to be enough time in a day. Our jobs and careers demand our time; our kids need a lot of us, too.

It is also hard to find the energy necessary to be a great dad. Stress and time demands rob us of energy and prevent us from being relaxed and present.

Job-seeking parents need to consider more than just pay and advancement opportunities when considering career opportunities. Here are 4 less obvious factors to keep in mind.

When considering a potential job offer, we are often acutely aware of such factors as pay, opportunities for advancement and benefits like health insurance. These are important, but sometimes the less-obvious features of a job/employer can be the difference between a difficult situation and a job situation that suits you and your family.

Welcome HBR Readers! Please take a look around (see the “best of” category link on the right-hand side of the page) and feel free to like/follow the blog and spread the word.

Most of us don’t want to opt-out of a rewarding, successful career. Most of us don’t want to opt-out of being a present, involved parent. Hopefully our generation can find a more balanced, integrated path.

A screencap of the recent NYTimes Magazine cover story

The NYTimes Sunday Magazine’s fascinating cover story, “The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In” by Judith Warner, paints a complex picture of the dynamics of work and family. While it focuses on high-earning women who gave up their careers to be stay-at-home moms, it has very interesting things to say about how men’s and women’s progress towards work-family balance are inextricably tied.

Minnesota Twins superstar catcher Joe Mauer is among the latest ballplayers to avail themselves of Major League Baseball’s paternity leave policy- the first of its kind in major US sports. Congrats to the Mauers on their twins, and kudos to MLB for sending an important signal about the importance of fatherhood.

(Thursday July 25, 2013) In Minnesota there’s a different Royal Baby watch going on. Joe Mauer was a last-minute scratch from last night’s lineup, leaving the Twins in California and flying back home to Minnesota because his wife went into labor with twins.

Archives

Proud member of the Dad Bloggers group

Copyright and re-posting policy

- All original material and pictures Copyright 2012-16 Scott Behson. All other material used with permission.

- All writing here falls under my copyright, and I will assert my rights vigorously if my work is inappropriately used

-You are welcome to reblog or repost content from this site ONLY with permission or by properly citing me as the source of the content. You should use the following language (or something very similar) when reposting: Original content from the Fathers, Work and Family blog, www.fathersworkandfamily.com by Scott Behson, PhD. Originally published on [date].

- All original pictures protected under Creative Commons non-commercial use agreement with attribution.

- All pictures from others used under their respective creative commons permissions

- All opinions are my own, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Fairleigh Dickinson University or any other organization I work with.

Sponsored content policy

I do not run paid posts, sponsored posts, advertorials or any other type of sponsored content. If I happen to write about a company, book, product or brand, it will always be my honest opinion, and will not have been influenced by money.

Guest content

I occasionally run guest content, mostly from readers and my personal/professional networks. However, guest posts must be specific to fathers' work-family issues, consistent with the tone and style of this blog, and must not be promotional in nature.
If you are interested in guest posting, please contact me and we can bat some ideas around.

Praise for The Working Dad’s Survival Guide

"If you're like most dads, you're facing an impossible tug of war between work and home. My advice? Read The Working Dad's Survival Guide. This smart, charming, and actionable guide offers a practical toolkit for thriving in both domains. You'll discover how to make family time more memorable, how to negotiate for work flexibility, and why you should pack at least one stuffed animal on every business trip. Behson is the rare writer who can communicate everything you need to know, while making you feel like you're just chatting over a beer with a good friend."
- Ron Friedman, PhD, author The Best Place to Work