GOP Changes Symbol From Elephant to Poo-Flinging Monkey

03/07/2016 12:08 pm ETUpdated
Mar 08, 2017

In a long-anticipated move, the Republican Party has officially changed its traditional symbol from an elephant to a poo-flinging monkey. "It's about time that we accurately reflect the bold, dynamic attitudes of our current leadership and presidential contenders," said GOP spokesperson Reynold F. Hammington. "We proudly embrace this new image of defiance, and are openly tapping into the poo that Republicans are producing and so desperately want to fling at each other and everyone else."

In addition to flinging poo, the monkey is also depicted as gleefully, ferociously masturbating, which Hammington describes as "a pointed case of political multi-tasking that befits today's Republican Congress." However, despite the enthusiasm that has greeted the new monkey symbol, there are those who find it distasteful. "The poo-flinging monkey is only temporary, so there's no need for alarm," says Hammington. "By the end of the year, the permanent symbol for the Republican Party will be a coffin."