English Majors

GK: You graduate in June and you go to a job interview and the guy in the blue suit says.....

TR: So ---- Emily----- why do you want this job?

LN: Truthfully?

TR: Sure.

LN: Because I'm desperate and I have a severe undiagnosed mood disorder that's triggered by bright lights, so I wanna get health insurance so I can get some legal barbiturates and also save up to buy an assault rifle.

GK: No. They just want you to hit key words. For example, you're not there because you're desperate.

LN: Yes I am.

GK: No you're not. You're there because you're a detail-oriented self-starter and a team player who can leverage your core competencies across diverse platforms.

LN: Gosh.

GK: You're a game-changer who provides positive momentum for a customer-centric wow factor.

LN: Wow. I never knew.

GK: But now you do. And you're ready for that interview.

LN: I am?

GK: You are.

LN: Okay.

GK: Good luck.

FN: So---- Emily----- What's your greatest strength?

LN: My market-focused synergistic interactivity.

FN: Good. And what's your greatest weakness?

LN: Sometimes I'm too proactive and I work round the clock for weeks on end, until I fall down from sheer exhaustion. And I love it.

FN: So where do you see yourself in five years?

LN: As a detail-oriented self-starter providing integrative solutions in real-time modules. I'd like to move the needle on the consumer experience, creating an above-the-fold paradigm shift, and catalyzing the burn rate of creative cross-pollination.

FN: You're hired. As an intern. A $1.50 an hour to start and your own cubicle.

(VICTORY CHORD)

GK: English. It's how you get ahead. If you're an MBA and you can't seem to land a job, for your next interview don't say MBA... say B.A. in English.

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).