Everything You Need to Know About Overcoming Self-Pity In 3 Minutes

Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. – John W. Gardner

In my last article I explored the psychology of self-pity. In this article, we’ll delve into 13 of the best ways to nip your moping in the bud.

Just to recap, self-pity is defined by:

An inability to accept a situation or circumstance in your life.

Cogitating over your issues and troubles constantly.

Dejectedness, gloominess and depression.

The feeling that you’re a victim of something or someone (e.g. the “persecution complex”).

The unexpressed thirst for the sympathy and affection of others.

13 Essential Ways of Overcoming Self-Pity

Discovering that we chronically self-pity, and taking steps to overcome this issue is part of the Involutionary process of Self-Transformation which stems from an understanding and acceptance of ourselves.

So if you suspect that you constantly self-pity, don’t fight it. Don’t hide from it in shame or embarrassment, rather, face it, accept it as a fact of your life. Embrace the fact that you are flawed and infallible … just like everyone else. Only then can you hope to make long-lasting changes within yourself.

Below you will find an eclectic variety of useful ways to overcome self-pity.

1) Keep a journal. Write in it for 10 minutes every day.

Keeping a gratitude journal, where you write down a list of things that you’re thankful for each day, is one effective way of re-programming your thought patterns. Nothing too small is irrelevant to write down, e.g. something like “I’m thankful that this cup of tea is warm and soothing” or “I appreciate the softness of my pillow”, shouldn’t be ignored. Whatever you are thankful for write down. Do this with patience and deliberation (remember, it’s not a race).

2) Grow a plant. Raise some herbs. Garden.

According to a survey conducted in 2013, 80 percent of gardeners reported that they were “happy” and “satisfied” with their lives, compared to the 67% of non-gardeners surveyed. Not only does gardening remove the attention and energy you place on yourself to something other than yourself, but it also instills you with a sense of accomplishment.

3) Sit in the sun.

According to the Vitamin D Council, vitamin D (which you gain from the sun), actually helps to improve your mood and energy levels, whilst decreasing depression. Ensuring that you get enough sun exposure each day is a good way to fight self-pity.

5) Get a pet animal.

6) Read this infographic.

Powerful and eye-opening.

7) Take regular long walks.

Exercise has been proven to boost the levels of endorphins in your brain, which are responsible for elevating your mood (plus a million other benefits). You may also like to consider joining a gym, or investing in your own sports equipment if you prefer privacy.

8) Meditate.

Meditation is a miracle cure for many mental ills, however, it does require patience, persistence and self-discipline. By meditating for 10 minutes a day, you increase your ability to become self-aware, and thus your ability to catch yourself in the act of fulfilling self-pitying thoughts.

9) Soulwork

Soulwork is an all-encompassing life practice that involves working with your soul. This means that we consciously decide to go on a journey to reconnect with our inner needs, wounds and destiny. Part of soulwork involves becoming aware of the various mental illnesses you currently entertain, which you may like to read more about here. Whether indirectly or directly, our whole website is dedicated to helping you embark on your own soulwork.

10) Help those less fortunate than you.

Volunteering really helps you to put your life into perspective, and helps you to appreciate what you have more. Volunteering also boosts self-esteem, confidence and compassion.

12) Read inspirational quotes each day.

Quotes. We see them everywhere online: Facebook, StumbleUpon, Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram, and pretty much every social network, blog and microblog known to man. Why? Because we love them. We are deeply affected by them. And sometimes we find a quote that speaks to the deepest parts of our beings, a quote that changes us, revolutionizes us. So give it a try. Here is a list of more than 20,000 inspirational quotes. You may also like to checkout LonerWolf’s Facebook page and Twitter streams for inspirational, thought-provoking quotes and messages posted each day.

13) Watch this video.

A reality check from the Optimal Living Academy. Well said.

***

Have anything else to add to this article? Please let us all know below!

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential psychospiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor, diviner, and author, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. [Read More]

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What is you DO feel blessed with everything in your life & do all the things mentioned in this video but have an abusive spouse and you need support from therapists and family and friends? Are you full of self-pity then?

I picked up my phone out of the blue, searched how to overcome self-pity, all I could feel and think about before I grabbed my phone was hate, sadness, anger, regret, lonelyness, ect. Everyone’s against me.. reading threw here and hearing “untill you can be responsible with what you have in your life you’ll never be able to have more. For as long as I can remember to now, ive complained about everything happening in my life.. So miserable.. No More! No More! For those who put this site up, my sincerest grattitude!

I absolutely agree that I would rather be me than millions of other people, but unfortunately it does not ease the pain and betrayal I am feeling at the moment and there is nothing I can do about it. I cannot discuss it with anyone. I feel so alone.

It’s totally not helping if someone’s self-pity comes from not being able to accept life’s cruelty (in general, not their own life experiences but what they know about pain and suffering, terrible places on earth) and feels depressed not being able to change it, and guilty being a more lucky one. I usually don’t make pity parties for myself, I’m just highly empathic, and now after reading this reminder, I feel terrible.

Overall it’s great article , really covers alot of areas affected by self-pity. But it’s covering alot of the symptoms of self-pity and advise how to distract from self-pity kind of thoughts and feelings. I find only number 1,8 and 10 related to overcoming self-pity. And the last tip, number 13, is a bit out of contex, for it is a video about materialistic complaining- not self-pity “at it’s best”. thank you for not just writing “stop whining” or anything else like this approach.

Hi Sol and Luna,
It’s been a while, hope you guys are doing well.
This is a very helpful article !
I’m currently having a holiday break, and re-organising my lifestyle is one of the goal for this month. Your articles really helped :)

I hope the pin-interest site plan for lonerwolf is going well, and thanks for everything you guys have done to build this community.

I’m delighted to hear that this article was of some help to you!
Also, thanks to your suggestion, I have been working on the following Pinterest account for LonerWolf: http://www.pinterest.com/LonerW0lf/
It’s still a work in progress, but please feel free to check it out whenever you have the time.

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Walk the path less traveled

Our names are Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol and we currently live in Perth, Western Australia.

Our mission is to help others embrace the path of the lone wolf and listen to the soul’s calling. Our goal is to provide a grounded and balanced perspective of spirituality that doesn’t bypass the raw, real, and messy aspects of spiritual growth or psychological development.

We are deeply drawn to exploring and exposing both the light and shadow side of human nature and spirituality. We strive towards integration, balance, wholeness, and embracing both the sacred and wild aspects of being human. Read more.