I admit to having some Halloween lovers whom I worship; Pumpkinrot, John at Season of Shadows, Sam Hain at The Halloween Blues, and well I've covered most of them in my post about Halloween-themed blogs, but Tom Nardone is one brilliant dude. He took pumpkins from your typical crooked grinning Jack O'Lantern to a level that turns them into squash rock stars! I love his books and keep them out year-round because they just inspire me so much. He doesn't just make fucking insane pumpkin horrors and goofy funny ones like pumpkins vomiting their guts out, but he also fills the books with weird facts you never knew. I like the way this guy's mind works!

I will be giving away both his most popular books "Extreme Pumpkins" and "Extreme Pumpkins II." All you have to do is be a follower and comment on this post by 12:00 am EST on Monday (in other words, midnight Sunday night EST). Monday I will make the drawing and announce the two winners. Good luck ya'all!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

No, I haven’t forgotten or abandoned the theme of my blog. I took a break admittedly after all the research for the haunted formula and the books I’m working on, but I’ve been in the mood lately to discuss some alternate explanations for hauntings. This will be a series on the blog, called appropriately “Ghost Hunting Theories.” Expect to hear such things discussed as; interdimensional beings, shadow people, aliens, neurologic disorders, residual, alternate universes, time splits, earth effects and completely explainable.

In this first in the series, I want to discuss the concept of interdimensional beings. Let’s go to Wikipedia to get an overview: There is a hypothesis called “Interdimensional hypothesis,” relating that UFOs, aliens, shadow people, crop circles, Bigfoot, and ghostly activity are all explained by the passage of beings from another dimension occasionally crossing into our dimension and being glimpsed.

I’ll be honest. When I first heard about this theory, I laughed. It’s a normal reaction when hearing such a “universal” view of ghostly activity. Then, I started reading more about it and considering it. Honestly, the concept of souls of the departed lingering as if their lives on Earth weren't enough seemed equally as ludicrous.

Some things explained by this theory include the lack of evidence of visitations, the difficulty capturing them, their ability to show up and then disappear suddenly. The characteristic often associated with shadow people is that once they realize they’ve been seen, they dart off into oblivion as if they didn’t expect to be seen by people normally. There are also some areas like Bennington Triangle that have a wide variety of events occurring on one place that make them seem likely portals.

Let’s go back in time when a person would get a cut that became infected. They had no concept that tiny little microscopic bacteria were the reason they were getting sick and dying. The very mention of microbes would have made people giggle nervously. “There’s nothing there we don’t see with our eyes. That is ridiculous! Surely it is a matter of the person's character or perhaps their very soul.” Things that occurred were often explained by the supernatural or spiritual because if science didn't cover it, that's the category it was relegated to. Luckily, advancements made it possible to see things at a molecular level and realize that these very exceptionally tiny bacteria could create a chain reaction that would down a human. It was not the human's lack of moral fiber that created the illness but something spread easily by our environment.

The ghost world will some day face the same issue; is it supernatural or is it scientific?

We are in much the same situation now. We have all these different forms of phenomena, no way to truly capture them. I know this as an investigator that it’s an extremely frustrating thing when really the majority of the evidence if subjective personal experiences. Perhaps we aren’t able to visualize the means by which these phenomenon occur. And, perhaps they are not all separate issues, but held together by one commonality; interdimensional travel.

So, the next obvious question is; if they can travel into our dimension, why the hell don’t we drop into theirs? There are many explanations, some including technology and others assuming that perhaps their dimensions have exits and ours does not.

Here is another consideration; what if when we are sitting at home watching TV, we are being seen briefly by another dimension, but we do not see their dimension? Perhaps when we glimpse a ghost, we are briefly seeing something in another dimension which might also explain why it often times does not seem to see us or passes through walls as if they are not there.

Any way you look at the concept of interdimensional beings, I actually have it as one of the top of my list of explanations for phenomenon. I am more likely to believe that concept than souls being stuck here because they don’t know they’re dead or they unfinished business which I put further down my list. At the end of this series, I will give you my order of beliefs at this very moment because, one thing I know about me, tomorrow something new will give me a new belief in the field.

It is my very ability to admit I have no final answers that keeps me seeking out ghost hunting theories.

Okay, my darlings, it’s time for another quiz. This one will ignite your imaginations. Count your a’s, b’s, c’s and d’s.

1. At Christmastime, I like to…a. Decorate over the top and have a big partyb. Go away to a sunny beach resort—screw Christmas!c. Go to a formal dressy Christmas partyd. Invite some family over, watch a football game, hang out around the tree

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I think I have a way to finally prove this with a "sure" thing. I’ve always wanted to go back to my childhood home, Aspen Grove, and revisit the haunting there from the Civil War soldiers who were injured and died in its walls when it was a field hospital. The home was haunted very actively, but what intrigues me even more is who has joined the cast since that time.

My father died when I was 16. He swore he would meet us at “Aspen Grove.” Soon after he died, the people living in the house told us they saw my father in his light gray suit and pink striped tie (his traveling suit that we buried him in). They had no idea he had died several days earlier. My mother died nearly 20 years later and vowed she would be there. After all, she was the historian who made certain the history of the house was revealed and it was placed on the historical register. She loved that place like nothing else in the world, even us children. We kind of knew that about her. The estate was very enchanting and surreal. It lured everyone in as if time could stand still there.

We siblings talked about our parents wandering the halls of Aspen Grove and vowed we would join them. When my brother was dying a few years after my mother, he took a nap in his hospital bed and woke up to tell me he had been flying around Aspen Grove and described in detail the awful changes since the condos were built around the mansion. He even said our cousin was there. He promised to be there when he passed. He died several days later.

My brothers death made me finally pursue something I started in childhood—ghost hunting. I felt him touching the other side and I wanted to see if the other side had any choice in interacting with us.

My sister and I talked extensively about my ghost hunting exploits and she laughingly told me I’d see her at Aspen Grove. She knew how desperately I wanted to prove what happened growing up and what could now be going on at the estate. She died suddenly and I knew there was no doubt, if she had a choice and still existed in some form, she was going to Aspen Grove.

A couple years later, I spoke with the professor from George Mason University who lived in a cottage at the end of our driveway and was the historian who assisted my mother in her research and a very dear family friend. We talked about the haunting and my research and my siblings and parents. He agreed that he too would like to haunt Aspen Grove. He died a few months later.

It sounds tragic, but when you’re significantly younger than your family on both sides, you tend to know you’ll be watching a lot of people pass, sometimes way too young (my brother was 43, my sister 50). I feel a strange comfort knowing they’re there to greet me wherever "there" is. I wouldn’t want to be the first to go.

What intrigues me is the possibility that, not only soldiers that might have watched me grow up there would recognize me, but what about my family and family friend who vowed to be there, as well? What if they saw me arrive to try and contact them? If I were to go there and do a study, would they show themselves in amazing ways? After all, they know how I seek answers and want to communicate. Being the baby of the family, too, they were especially protective of me and the fun usually began when I entered the room.

The elements are certainly ideal from the geology and quartz to the underground springs and very construction of the building to make a perfect storm for activity. If spirits can attach to an ideal "haunting vessel," this is as much a sure thing as I can possibly imagine in terms of a location to prove this hypothesis.

If I can’t find ghosts at Aspen Grove, I would hang up my tools of the trade and give up. The other option is that all hell breaks loose and I can not only incite them to react, but capture some amazing evidence.

I vowed to myself I wouldn’t go without a good team to document and a film crew to observe. This is nearly a guaranteed haunting. I would not want to miss a moment of the evidence that would be gained. It would be a homecoming beyond compare. I even know the places they would most likely attach themselves and the best ways to lovingly and playfull provoke them to come forward. I can’t think of a better pinnacle for ghost hunting and I can’t imagine any situation that could provide more proof.

I've considered going myself and doing a study, but I would really need a team. I think this particular hunt would definitely need documentation for the types of things that would occur. So, if you know a producer who's interested, I'm more than ready for the ultimate ghost hunt. I'll keep ya'all posted if this ever materializes.

Julie and I are planning another day trip for the work on our book "Abandoned Places: Abandoned Memories" (Desert Edition). We're heading to Florence, AZ area and going to get more pictures and more psychic readings on abandoned spots, stopping by one of the most creepy ass desert cemeteries from a town that got washed away long ago. Hopefully, do some meditation inside of a medicine wheel and film the inside of a freaky ass WWII POW hospital museum. So, next Thursday expect some weird stuff to start going up on the blog. Well, not like there isn't always weird stuff on here. We have a few trips planned and some strange filming. No doubt as it's turning to October, Dale the Doll will lose his freaking mind. Then, there'll be lots of giveaways and creepy weird stuff, so enjoy from now through our season, it's going to be a freaky ride.

See if you can name the movies these memorable lines came from; they’re from lots of genres…

Comedy:

1. “I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?”

2. “That was my skull! I'm so wasted!”

Romantic Comedy:

3. “I am NOT going to New York to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?”

Action:

4. “First I’m going to use you as a human shield then take the endoscopic trocar from the table and kill him with it. Then I was thinking about breaking your neck.”

SciFi:

5. “It would never leave him. It would never hurt him or shout at him or get drunk and hit him or say it was too busy to spend time with him. And it would die to protect him. Of all the would-be fathers that came over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only thing that measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.”

Horror:

6. “I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I get this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the *devil's* eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... *evil*.”

7. “Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?”

8. “Martin hates boats. Martin hates water. Martin... Martin sits in his car when we go on the ferry to the mainland. I guess it's a childhood thing. It's a... there's a clinical name for it isn't there?”

9. “People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance.”

Thriller:

10. “You haven't spent much time around cemeteries, have you? It's impossible that Mr. Thorwald could bury his wife in a hole the size of one square foot. Unless he put her in standing on end, in which case he wouldn't need the knives and saw.”

Monday, September 27, 2010

I am obsessed with scarecrows. I suggest you just go ahead and bookmark Pumpkinrot's page. You will go there year-round. I get my Halloween cards there and I can't get enough of his YouTube channel where he shows amazing videos of his scarecrow creations. Here's just a sampling of the ones he's invented (above). I think he is truly the greatest Halloween artist and understands the heart of Samhain like no one else. I love Halloween through his eyes and I suggest you enjoy his inspiring art and, if you're still not in the mood for Halloween, get a checkup at the local mental health clinic because something is broken inside.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of Martha Stewart. I think the woman seriously needs to get fucked. That being said, I still cannot help myself every Halloween but let her profit from me one time a year when I purchase the October issue of her magazine. It's a guilty pleasure and other than her putting her stiffened face in every photo, I appreciate the creativity her grunts (who do all the work) put into the issue. If you want to look back at the past 10 years of these fantastic issues look here.

To me, it isn't October until I have a copy of this in my paws and I have the time and space to really study it. The photography is beautiful, the sets amazing, and the ideas innovative. One particular issue was my favorite of all time: 2005, "Magical Moments." It was filled with very traditional New England feeling Halloween ideas and images, rather organic, spotted gourds, creative Halloween party ideas, creepy witches and black cats. This year's issue is a collector's one for being the 10th issue. I don't give a frig about collector status, I will wear this magazine down to a nub over the years. Each September, I spread the magazines out on the coffee table and relive the amazing ideas. If you want to be inspired for Halloween, steeped in the traditional mood of it, inspired to give a party, then keep the ice princess in business and let her profit from you buying an issue. I hate to encourage her to continue her stilted TV show and her obnoxious and contrived dialect on the air, but damn! So long as she makes these magazines, I'll hope she stays out of jail next October and the next October and the next October....

AUTUMNFOREST: Victor, tell me how it is that you came by the career of killing people in the bayous.

VICTOR: I was lonely.

AUTUMNFOREST: So, you killed visitors?

VICTOR: (nods dumbly) You’re purdy.

AUTUMNFOREST: Thank you. (scoots her chair back in the bayou shack) Do you get out of the swamp very often?

VICTOR: I never leave. (plays with the sharp edge of his hatchet)

AUTUMNFOREST: I have to say that you certainly managed to outsmart all the people who came on the tour of the bayou and killed them in some inventive ways.

VICTOR: (toothless grin) I’m smart. I’m not stupid. Those people were stupid. (snorts)

AUTUMNFOREST: Do you feel you’re done with killing now?

VICTOR: (Grunts) Naw. They had me do a Hatchet 2.

AUTUMNFOREST: I understand that’s coming out in October.

VICTOR: (shrugs)AUTUMNFOREST: Do you plan to go to the premiere?

VICTOR: Would ya go with me, purdy lady?AUTUMNFOREST: (Gets up out of her seat) S-sorry, Victor. I have to get going now, back to the city.

VICTOR: Ya ain’t goin’ anywhere! (storms the door and locks it)

AUTUMNFOREST: (studies her escape routes and there are none) Victor, you need to let me out or I can’t publish your brilliant interview.VICTOR: I ain’t got a lady wife.

AUTUMNFOREST: Well, let me go and I’ll find you one.

VICTOR: I got one right here! (comes closer)

AUTUMNFOREST: No, no, you don’t want me as a bride. I-I’m no fun to be around. I get sick in the swamps and I’m afraid of alligators. Y-you could do so much better with a nice local bride. I think I know just the girl. Let me go get her and send her back here….

Autumnforest retreats to the kitchenette and looks for something to cook, her mind working fast to find a way out of the cabin as she cooks some Spam in a rusty pan.

VICTOR: That smells good, wife.

AUTUMNFOREST: Come and smell it up close.

Victor edges up to her and stares into the pan. Autumnforest swings the pan up into his face and clunks him, rushing from the room to the door and out into the swamp. She waves frantically from the edge of the bayou as a fan boat goes by and slow down to help her get on board. Victor approaches them and the boat speeds off.

Yes, that was the closest call of all the interviews. For a moment there, I was very nearly a bayou bride. I’ve learned my lesson from that one not to interview someone in an isolated swamp. But, still, some of the other Sunday interviews are in very creepy places….

P.S. John and Season of Shadows is having a wonderful Halloween art giveaway--just fantastic!

I've probably mentioned it on here before. I have a deep love for MST 3000 and mocking bad movies. I also have a real soft spot for SyFy Original movies because they're simply so bad they're good! Case in point; "Ice Spiders," "Dinocroc Vs Supergator," and "Abominable." So, when I heard that "Sharktopus" was coming out tonight, I nearly burst a seam with excitement! It's like a train wreck, you can't look away from. Just look at these preview clips and see if I'm wrong. Please, SyFy, hire me to do your original movies, I have some ideas that would drive the viewers crazed waiting for Saturday night.

Friday, September 24, 2010

It's that time again. A Friday night. If you're hanging out alone, join us and comment back and forth. We will talk about goofy things, flirt, giggle, and generally make everyone feel welcome. Begins at 7 pm EST and goes until the last person passes out or falls asleep. You may begin now....

Oh, and check out Julie's gorgeous pictures from the abandoned motel we visited.

This is yet another episode of my LAUGH series that pokes loving fun at TV paranormal investigators.

NOTE: Do not drink while reading this, you are likely to spew the drink through your nose.DR. PHIL MCGRAW: Welcome to my special episode today. I’m having a popular television personality on. He doesn’t know why he’s here. It was my hope to do a sort of intervention for him and confront him about some concerning behaviors. I’m sure ya’all will give a welcome to tonight’s guest, Zak Bagans (claps as Zak struts onto the stage, pumped up and instigating the crowd for louder claps and hoots).

ZAK: (bobs his head) Well, I work with what I have, Dr. Phil. (pumps up)

DR. PHIL: Well, I’m just a country boy and I have to tell you that I like to look at things one step at a time. Say the cows get out of the yard, you gotta find the cows and bring them in first before you fix the fence, right?

ZAK: (puzzled expression)

DR. PHIL: (refers to card in his hand). Season one it would appear that every orb you captured was a spirit manifesting. Season two, every place you were was the portal to hell. Season three, you were getting possessed a lot. Season four, you’re getting touched in private places.

ZAK: (snorts) Yeah, I guess we’ve had a wild ride on “Ghost Adventures.”

DR. PHIL: (frowns) Or is it just you having a wild ride, Zak? I’d like to point out a few conditions and you tell me if any of them sound familiar. Body dysmorphic disorder?

ZAK: Huh?

DR. PHIL: (looks him up and down) That’s when you don’t see your body realistically and keep pushing it to get to some unobtainable shape or size.

ZAK: (shakes his head in confusion) Oh, I know just where I’m going with my guns (shows his muscles). I’m taking these babies to the limit. Sure, they’re small now, but they’ll be big beasts when I’m done. (slaps one of his biceps and then whimpers)

DR. PHIL: Gender confusion? ZAK: What?

DR. PHIL: That’s where you aren’t quite sure if you’re gay or straight. You may say one thing but act out another.

ZAK: (shocked) Dude! I am so hetero. Oh, well, you know I admit the male ghosts seem to want to touch me a lot, but I’m not saying I like it. And once I did call an incubus to come and sex me up, but dude I totally didn’t know he was a dude. There was a time in the shower room at an abandoned prison when I thought I could feel how one of the men felt when they were having sex, but I’m not saying it got me all worked up. It just kind of felt…goofy and (blushes) naughty. (snickers)

DR. PHIL: Narcissism?

ZAK: (opens mouth but Dr. Phil interrupts)

DR. PHIL: That’s when you think that everything that happens and everything everyone else does is somehow related to you.

ZAK: (snorts) Well, you guys did call and ask me to come on the show, so the show is about me. And all these great people out here (waves his hand towards the audience) are here to honor my hard work as a serious ghost hunter. The camera man is watching me very closely and the makeup girl did lean over me to put on my powder and I could see her cleavage. She totally wants me. By the way, do you have number? These lights up here are aimed at me and everyone is watching me and you’re asking me questions, so this is kind of like Zak’s day, right? So, yeah, it’s all about me. Isn’t it supposed to be? (chuckles)

DR. PHIL: Paranoia?

ZAK: Paranoia? Wait, that’s when you think people are out to get you?

DR. PHIL: (nods) Or spirits are out to get you.

ZAK: Sure as hell they are! The minute I go into a haunted place, I’m telling you, they listen to everything I say, they can hear my thoughts and fears, they follow me everywhere and try to touch me. They want to jump inside me and talk through me. Yeah, the spirits are out to get me, man!DR. PHIL: Split personalities?

DR. PHIL: (raises his brow) Thinking you hear and see things that aren’t there.

ZAK: (mouth hanging open). I only hear shit that’s there. Well, sometimes I hear it on my crappy little cheapo digital recorder, but it’s really clear what it says. It’s talking to me, but I just can’t hear it when it’s talking. And, I do see shadow people and shapes but it’s just that the camera can’t film them. They’re there, I tell you!

DR. PHIL: (nods and sighs) Bipolar disorder with mania?

ZAK: Dude, I’m completely lost. (shakes his head)

DR. PHIL: When your moods go from very depressed to very excited and feeling euphoric.

ZAK: (laughs) That’s every hunt, Doc. I go from the really dark place waiting for something to happen and then I just get all excited because we finally got action. I feel invincible. It’s like I can do nothing wrong. I don’t want to sleep. I talk really fast. I get awesome ideas and want to act on all of them at one time. (voice raises)

DR. PHIL: You poor boy. It appears that you have met the criteria for quite a few disorders. It looks like we’re going to have to send you to the asylum. (stands up and waves on two orderlies in scrubs).

ZAK: (jumps up and down and laughs and claps). Oh yes! Trans-Alleghany, I hope. That place rocks! Are we bringing the crew too? I usually like to work alone. Just lock me in for the night.

DR. PHIL: (puts his hand on his shoulder) Yes, son, we will be locking you in.

ZAK: Good cause I want to be able to say I made it through the night without escape.

DR. PHIL (nods to the attendants who take his arms). You won’t escape. I promise you.

ZAK: Dude, you are the shit! Thanks, man! (laughs hysterically as they take him away).

DR. PHIL: I’d like to thank the audience for not encouraging him. I don’t envy the psychiatrists who will have to manage his moods and his unpredictable nature. Well, be sure and be with us tomorrow when we talk to George Clooney about his newest movie and his love life. That’s gonna be fun! (walks away to take his wife’s arm and walk off as the audience cheers)***Tonight is Lonely on a Friday Night; join us here to talk and goof around***

Since Zak and the Boys are at an asylum tonight, "Crazy Train" seemed appropriate to me. Hey, Zak gets his man boobs grabbed tonight, so don't freaking miss it! I've been inspired to work on a new episode of LAUGH involving "Ghost Adventures," and I can't wait to finish it and share it.

It's that time again... Lonely on a Friday Night here on the blog tonight and "Ghost Adventures"

Don't forget the drinking game. Tonight, I'm choosing port wine; smooth and sweet. You take a drink for every time they say "dude," "bro," "man" and every time Aaron's mouth drops open in shock. Play it at home, stay in for the evening. I want you to survive so we can talk about it tomorrow. Enjoy!

Oh, and at noon (EST) --be sure to check in here--an episode of LAUGH involving Zak Bagans on the Dr. Phil show. This is my favorite one ever!

While the human is working on a new episode of LAUGH involving "Ghost Adventures" Zak Bagans and Dr. Phil having a little therapy session, it got me to thinking; do I have mommy issues?

I had this nightmare a few nights ago that my human looked like my mum. It was kind of fuzzy and strange and when I woke up, I was in a cold synthetic sweat.

I admit that my mum pushed me out the door when I was a just a little doll. I was sent away to my uncle's to learn the trade on the road, but the problem was I didn't learn the trade. I remained in a steamer trunk and traveled with him, but was never exposed to being a real ventriloquist doll. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit it, as this is probably the equivalent of a man being impotent, but I have never been used on the circuit as a talking doll. I've always had private owners.

Sometimes, I think about my mum and wonder if she would like my human, then I have to strike myself in the plastic skull because my mum hated all humans. She taught me to distrust them and use them for my own means. Still, there times when my human is so kind to me and patient, despite my acting up lately, that I kind of think of her as a mommy figure. Well, until she cradles me against her bosom, then my thoughts become downright incestuous.

So, what's a doll to do if he starts to see his owner as his mum? I haven't a clue, so if any of you followers out there who think you're so sharp know the answer, please help me. I must break this unnatural bond.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Well, it was a long day and accidentally put the wrong city name on this video--it was actually Gila Bend, but desert towns begin to blur together over time.

Julie and I will hopefully be soon doing another road trip to abandoned places with just as much variety as these past several videos. We're working on our book "Abandoned Places: Abandoned Memories" involving photographing abandoned sites and then me doing psychic reads of the memories and writing this into a gothic atmospheric story form for a book compilation.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

What is that crazy Autumnforest up to next??? Well, it dawned on me that having my own place has a lot of advantages and one of them is that for the first time in my life, I have a room that is my own; my office! So, I put up a set in there where I can do video blogging from and be able to touch base with ya'all in a more appropriate way. Expect me to start making vlogs soon for the blog and amp it up as Halloween approaches. This is the beginning of the set, but no doubt it will become even creepier once I get some spider webs up and more candles. Yeah, and Dale will be at my side (so I can keep the little monster under control. He's been quiet lately which means he's about to strike again).

There is an overwhelming sigh amongst the eager ghost hunting fans from 2005-2008. The peak of "Ghost Hunters" and the half dozen or more offshoot look-a-like shows brought with it eager reality show watchers who wanted to live vicariously through Steve and Brian, Jason and Grant.

The last few years, however, the bloom is off the rose.

As a hunter before the show even came out, I was surprised anyone would do a show about ghost hunting. It's such a tedious and often times unrewarding and boring hobby. How the hell was someone going to make it into a career and one that viewers would want to watch for a full hour once a week?

Basically, they're basing a show on a bunch of people in a dark building for hours on end, listening closely and jumping to conclusions. Imagine a show where it's just people in a tent in the woods listening to every acorn falling and leaf rustling and getting all worked up thinking it's all cougars and bears? At first, the show would be kind of thrilling, but after six or eight episodes with not so much as a skunk showing itself, you might turn the channel.

So far as GH's impact on how the average person views on the paranormal world, it has helped shed new light on the field of ghost hunting. As crude as it still is, we have gone a long way from Victorian era seances and cheesecloth ectoplasm sideshows.

But, we are still literally and figuratively shooting in the dark.

I have an enormous amount of personal experiences, but so far as hardcore evidence is concerned, it sifts through my fingers like sand. I can use an EMF meter, but other than hearsay that it's measuring ghostly activity, all I can guarantee is that it will pick up electrical activity in the room which can only tell me that this house is wired for lights! I can use my camera but it's almost surely going to pick up nothing but dust particles or things in the infrared spectrum.

We still can't prove a damn thing.

What's next for the field? Oh, I have no doubt that J&G will manage more seasons, as SyFy has not seen quite the cash cow with its other pitiful shows. So, they might just pay off that New England inn and manage to do books and speaking engagements and show up for mass hunts at famous locations for as long as they wish and never wear a plumber's gear again.

But, for those of us who remain active in the field, where do we go?

Unfortunately, corrupted by the methodology of TAPS, the teams that grew around the country in their image will continue on with the same routine, the same instruments, and the same explanations for what the paranormal is. Those of us who existed BGHS (Before Ghost Hunters Show) will continue on as before, determining by our experiences with the paranormal, just how we can capture proof of it, repeat incidences, find commonalities and factors to help us form theories and test them.

It's not glamorous. If viewers had to watch the hours of evidence review, the petty bickering, the investigators falling asleep in the middle of a hunt, they would tune out.

I truly think that GH might have had a better run if they kept them as plumbers trying to work nights at hunting, working from a trailer with cobbled together equipment and fighting with their wives about pissing away the kids' college funds. Now, that's reality.

There were moments early in the show's run when the personalities made it even more interesting to watch, when Brian was f'ing up and Jason was scared to proclaim anything haunted. They were like Duff and the gang at the cake shop in "Ace of Cakes." Somewhere along the line, however, the team began to lose its personality, became jilted and sterile, and way too cordial with each other as if they never spoke to each other outside of filming.

It will go down in history as THE ghost hunting show. But it will be the last big one.

It's just as well they don't pump out more of these. There's only so much "give us a sign of your presence's" that we can withstand.

I don't doubt that the newbie hunters will grow bored and weary and leave the industry all together. The ones left over are the ones who were always steadfastly doing it for the right reasons and not being taken in by popular pseudoscience. I'd like to see more of it enter into lab environments and experimentation with more input from inventors and scientists.

One thing I know for sure, people will not stop hunting ghosts because we will continue to run into phenomenon and ponder its origins. It may not be hip anymore, but it will still live on.

P.S. How do I get someone to give me a show where I make money scampering around abandoned sites? Sign me up, please. I want to get paid for something I'm already doing for my own spare time. How the hell did TAPS get that gig???

Monday, September 20, 2010

Tonight, my son Alex asked his girlfriend Jenn to marry him. I didn't have my doubts about it. It was inevitable. They are so perfectly matched that I couldn't have "Weird Science'd" a better mate for him. I love this picture taken at the last Halloween party as they came as western settler zombies. In fact, they blew it up for me and put it in a frame as one of my birthday gifts. Do they understand me, or what? Yup, no regular photos for this lady.

I'll be honest. You'd think I'm a real bar girl with lots of favorite fancy drinks. Not. Usually liquor just makes my stomach burn. But, there are occasions when a fancy mixed drink just hits the spot (I make sure to take a Zantac and eat something before the cocktail) and so I keep my eyes opened for one time of the year when a mixed drink takes on a new look--horror. I'm definitely not the delicate umbrella'd drink kinda gal, but mix me up some Bayou Slime and I will giggle like a schoolgirl.

Muddle mint leaves and syrup together, making sure to crush the mint leaves.
Place all ingredients into a shaker.
Shake until well-chilled and frothy.
Strain into a chilled martini glass.
Garnish with additional crushed mint leaves. Frogs in a Blender

1 cup of ice
2 oz vodka
4 oz cranberry juice
2 lime wheels

Place all the ingredients in a blender (including the lime wheels). Blend for 3-5 seconds (ingredients will not be completely blended). Pour into a chilled hurricane glass.

Black Cat
1 oz vodka
1 oz cherry brandy
cranberry juice
cola

Pour the vodka and brandy into a highball glass filled with ice and stir gently. The next step is to top up the glass with equal amounts of cranberry juice and cola.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Ya'all know I follow blogs that have to do with Halloween like flies follow shit, like bears follow honey, like Autumn follows cute men....

Okay, you get the picture!

I have a new addiction, The Halloween Blues. Sam Hain, the host of this amazing blog, is really on the ball and he's the first place I go to get my Halloween fix. He's excited about the industry, all things having to do with Halloween culture and movies and events and he's just easy to read and fun to listen to. I love this guy, but then I'm pagan and so Sam Hain is my favorite!

This is another in my Halloween series running until Halloween; every Sunday an interview with a horror movie killer. Today’s installment, my interview with Mrs. Voorhes, mother of Jason the boy drowned at Camp Crystal Lake in the movie “Friday the 13th”

Autumn: Mrs. Voorhes, when I first saw “Friday the 13th” I was so surprised you were the killer. You did a brilliant job of hiding yourself nearly the whole movie.Mrs. Voorhes: (flashes an evil smile) Well, it was easy. You see, the director kept the cameras off of me, dear.

Autumn: Oh. Tell me why you felt compelled to kill all those counselors?

Mrs. Voorhes: They killed my Jason. He was a gentle son, a sensitive boy. He should never have been left unattended. Those damned teenagers! (pounds her fists on the chair’s arms) Sex, pot and rock and roll; it killed my son!

Autumn: I thought Jason died by drowning.

Mrs. Voorhes: (beady eyes narrowed) He was unattended. That sweet gentle loving boy was left to his own devices while those vile teenagers fornicated! (voice rising) They were clawing and clutching at each other like wild animals in heat while my darling son drowned, no doubt calling for his mommy (wipes away a tear).

Autumn: I’m very sorry for you loss.

Mrs. Voorhes: (eyebrow raises) Are you really? You look an awful lot like one of those counselors. Did you work here at Camp Crystal Lake?

Autumn: I assure you, I’ve never been here before, Mrs. Voorhes.

Mrs. Voorhes: Oh yes, I could see you clutching at one of those instructors, writhing against him, moaning and not even noticing me as I come up behind you. (reaches into her pocket)

Autumn: (scoots her chair back as Mrs. Voorhes removes her cigarettes and lights one. Autumn lets out a sigh) It would seem that your son appears in the other movies. What took him from being a sweet gentle son to a killer?

Mrs. Voorhes: (laughs madly) He is his mother’s baby (grins). In fact, I keep him at my side at all times.

Autumn: Really? (looks around the cabin curiously)Mrs. Voorhes: (stares at a spot over Autumn's shoulder) Isn’t that right, Jason, dear?

Autumn: (swings around to face Jason in his hockey mask, gets up and runs for the door, Mrs. Voorhes ordering Jason to chase her).

Note: No bloggers were injured in the making of this interview, Autumnforest made it out in one piece!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Since I do actually have a blog called "Ghost Hunting Theories," and I often get off-task, I thought I'd be on-task right now. On my road trip with Julie from Above-The-Norm recently, I discovered something more about my psychometric abilities. First, I will backtrack a bit here. Do you recall me telling you that a follower sent me a stone in the mail? Yes, well the reading on the stone was from a cemetery and apparently I hit the mark completely with it and the stone's perspective. Only problem is, there was no living attached to the stone and so how did I see the stone's perspective? I could think of only two options; one is that I saw the person who collected its point-of-view or I remote viewed the prior location of the rock. Well, that's one new thing I learned about my skills that surprised me.

But, on Julie and I's trip to the burned out house, I learned something new that shocked me and was a total first ever. I went around the building, touching everything I could put my paws on, and not a single image, emotion, anything. The site was entirely sterile from a psychometric POV. So, what does that mean? In my question to understand my skills better and better, it means that whatever I read from an object just might be in surface "cells." That being the case, heat apparently can affect the content. Hmm....

The mystery continues and if you can come up with any cool experiments, let me know. Time Human gave me a few good ones and I hope to find more to help me pinpoint this skill and how it works. I do know from a child that digging up relics from the Civil War and before that time period, I was able to gather memorie from those and get reads, so burial doesn't make them lose their psychic substance.

On to the next totally cool thing. I mentioned the road trip Julie and I did to some amazing abandoned sites. This one (video below) is called The Domes in Casa Grande, AZ. I've heard a lot of stories of why these were built including that they were to be factories. Now, they just house a lot of youths in a small town on a boring weekend. They are truly creepy and cool! They create an echoing effect that is like a richocheting bullet.

Friday, September 17, 2010

It's that time again. If you're not doing anything from now through the evening, hang out here with all us lonely ones to comment back and forth, flirt, be goofy, say stupid things, and generally be dorky. It's all welcome. If you didn't catch my video from earlier today, look it up. I talk to ya'all face to camera.

As is customary for me during their season, I put up a little music video I think suits their line of work and their shows. Then, I put up the drinking game. The game is simple: Take a slug for every time they say "dude," "man" "bro" or Aaron's mouth becomes unhinged with fear and surprise. Warning: You will be buzzed. Do this at home. Stay and kick back. Enjoy. Tonight they begin the season at Gettysburg. My drink choice tonight on my birthday? My favorite drink; Disaronno on the rocks. It's my birthday--why the hell not?? Enjoy another season with these crazy guys. They make my Friday nights--thanks Travel Channel--now can you make it a longer season, puh-lease????

More importantly, it's a new season of "Ghost Adventures!" I swear those guys planned it just to start on my birthday so I'd have something to look forward to other than the walls of my apartment tonight. I will be on the blog here from 7 pm EST through the late evening with any of you lonely folks who want to jump on and comment like we do every Friday night. I look forward to the weird and crazy conversations, the flirtiness and commentary about the paranormal world. We can even see "Ghost Adventures" together and do the drinking game together! Wahoo!

This little video is something I've been promising for some time. I always thought I'd keep myself cloaked in mystery and never let my followers see all of me at one time, but you've all become second family and I'd hardly show up at a reunion partially cloaked (well considering my redneck relatives, it's probably the best way to not get hit on). Anyways, since we're going to go on adventures together, I figured you should meet your hostess on this insane train ride called GHT....

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Don't forget Travel Channel tomorrow night -- the new season of "Ghost Adventures." They are doing 3-part study at Gettysburg. Get ready for me to post a video and a drinking game. The boys are back! Tomorrow is also the day I put up the vlog so you can finally see me and hear from me. It's also Lonely on a Friday night, so if you're bored, we can watch "Ghost Adventures" and laugh together as we comment back and forth.

Tonight is a new episode of "Destination Truth" (take a peek below) and "Beast Legends" on SyFy

The Best Western Space Age Lodge in Gila Bend, Arizona is an interesting place. Yeah, sure, a UFO landed atop of the restaurant and inside there is a gift shop filled with alien friendly stuff, but hey the cafe is actually really good eats! I splurged and had something I never eat--a hamburger and onion rings. It was super delicious and nice staff, clean and friendly. And, interestingly, the place was filled with handsome young men and not a woman in sight. So, gals, hop in your cars to Gila Bend. There was a bunch of military types, no doubt from the nearby Barry Goldwater Range. It was wonderful eats, an alien cafe, and men to stare at, so we were pretty happy.

However Julie and I are still trying to figure out why the police station is inside the motel (picture above)??? Perhaps the Pima County vice squad gets a discount on rooms?

Julie from Above-The-Norm (she has pics up!)and I had an insane day off Wednesday on our crazy road trip. We hit a helluva lot of abandoned sites, hilarious stories, total weirdness. Expect some videos and photos and stories. This video was taken at a bizarre bunch of structures in Casa Grande called "The Domes." These weird kiva-like buildings are used for teenaged raves, have tons of graffiti and tons and tons of echoing sounds inside that I videotaped, so expect to see those videos soon. This one was taken inside one of the hangar-like buildings. We found a refrigerator and I just had to find out if there was a body inside. There were beer bottles, bonfire remains, clothing all over the place and we wondered if they stored someone in there. I opened it up to find out. Cause, well, I'm too curious! More stories later....

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

It’s quiz time again, my pretties! Count your a’s, b’s, c’s and d’s to find out what type of horror movie is best suited for you.

1. When looking for a friend, I tend to…a. Look for the one who makes me laugh, is a total joksterb. Look for one who stimulates my mindc. Look for one who makes a great confidantd. Look for one who is simple and easy to get along with

2. If I have a day off, I might like to…a. Try something crazy and riskyb. Go to a museumc. Spend time with friends or familyd. Get my chores done

3. In an argument, I might…a. Scream and say things I regret laterb. Use logic and explain my sidec. Cry and feel it’s hopelessd. Storm out

4. If I were a Star Trek character, people would call me…a. Khan “Wrath of Khan)b. Spockc. Capt. Kirkd. Lt. Worf

5. I make love like…a. Fast and desperateb. In the dark, as neat as possiblec. With lots of caressing and sweet talkd. Purely to get to the climax asap

Now, count your letters and find out which one you have the most of, scroll down and find out which type of horror movie best suits your personality—

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I had a friend when I was growing up. She had a suburban modern basement. It was completely lined with concrete and ready for a pool table, even had some happy windows.

Not the one I grew up with.

Our basement was worse than any dungeon in a castle. A lot of folks grew up with these kind of basements. You know the ones; where mushrooms could grow and damp permafrost earth meets with walls made of stone and concrete and horse hair and chickenwire. Oh the horrors!

Basements seem to hold the most unease of any part of a home. Attics can be crowded and hot, but basements are cold, damp, and kind of tomb-like. The one I grew up with had rickety wooden ancient steps that bowed and creaked and were perpetually cold. On the right side was a wall but on the left side an opening to a crawlspace that contained hard packed earth and hibernating black snakes underneath the kitchen which was an added on room. That dark void would stare me down. Anything could be in there, even Pennywise (above).

At the bottom of the stairs was another set of stairs that led up to the flip open root cellar doors. To the right, a creaky old door that led into the heart of the chilly beast. The floors were concrete and uneven, a sump pump nearby was used after rains to empty out the ankle high water. Cobbled together benches made up my father's work area where all kinds of big angry tools sat and waited to work on some other thing that had broken down in the over 200-year-old house.

Supports held up the center of the room. Mother taught art and stored many of her paintings in this miserable place. Few of the survived the climate.

The canned foods were kept in the far corner of the basement. Sure enough, every day it was my task to go retrieve the goods. The race through the musty smelling basement to gather the foods and race back upstairs before whatever seemed to be lurking chased me was a fast sprint. I always felt like I just barely missed getting caught each time as I swung the door shut and entered the sunlit kitchen.

As a ghost hunter, I find it rare that anyone with a basement does not complain about it. Of course, they are often the holding place for all unwanted items and the place where wiring and plumbing and radiators and the like are stored. They lack lighting and a sense of the outdoors. They are damp and musty. They feel as if they have few exit options. They are tomb-like. All of these reasons unsettle people. Is there, however, a reason we should be scared of basements?

Other than a hypersensitivity to mold or EMF coming off of exposed wiring, there's no higher incidence of haunting activity in basements. This is more than likely because (if you follow popular explanations for hauntings) people are not likely to die there or particularly miss that spot so much they have to haunt it.

Even though there may be no legitimate reason to fear a basement, we still will. Their very characteristics make it impossible to ever be truly comfortable.

(*After 3 years of blogging, on Friday ya'all will get to meet me on a vlog I will post*)

What do we learn from horror movie sex? Not a lot about technique actually, but a lot about quickies. It seems that you are your most vulnerable when you are distracted working hard and fast to get that great prize - orgasm. We know the rule about horror movie sex; stupid teens having sex like bunny rabbits will be killed. Virtuous girls who hold out, will survive. Was this an early lesson about STDs?
Over the years, the cautionary tales about casual sex have changed and, in fact, modern horror stories often involve sex with the bad guy; vampires, werewolves, killers ("Scream") and many killers are sexualized like in "Ginger Snaps" and "Bram Stoker's Dracula." I'm intrigued that those lines are not clear any longer. It gives horror a better element of no rules and no predictability

Ultimately, for women, it goes back to that bad guy scenario. The guy you shouldn't have is the very one you want. Why? Every woman harbors a desire to find that seed of humanity in a man and make a beast into a human. We like to think that we can so affect a man, we can change him into something suitable. Just look at Bella in "Twilight."

Now, for the men, it's the idea of a woman being aggressive (vampire, werewolf, witch) and taking him. What guy doesn't like the concept of not having to pursue and having a sure thing? Not only a sure thing, but a woman who will take what she wants instead of whining and pleading for it and making him wonder how she wants it.

Should the new motto of horror movies be "if you can't beat `em, join `em?" Perhaps. It's evident that "virtue" is no longer realistic or desirable in horror movies. We have evolved past that naive phase of our social evolution.

So, what does the future offer us in sex in horror movies? If it reflects society and nowadays people are overstressed, overworked and undersexed...it might mean a drought in our horror movies as far as sexual portrayals, or it could have the opposite effect and offer much more explicit sex such as in the movie "Animals" which I think has the very best sex ever in a horror movie. In fact, I completely forgot it was supposed to be a horror movie.

Now, if someone could just balance the two, they would have all of us riveted. Great sex, great horror thrills--best combo ever!

(*3 more days until my vlog is up on the blog and you get to meet me*)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Many of you have noticed Dale the Doll is amping up his activity on the blog with videos made without my persmission and now following your blogs and leaving comments. He does this every year as Halloween approaches. It usually begins in September and peaks on the 31st of October. November first, he is back to his usually grumpy pants self again.

I will share the story of Dale’s tragic past so you can understand. When he was new to the world of puppetry, he was acquired by a man with a sinister background. This man lost his legs in an accident when a car he was working on fell from the jacks and crushed him. In his bitterness, he locked himself into his apartment and darkened the windows and began to practice dark magic to get back at the car shop owner (who died a few weeks later of a heart attack).

This man acquired Dale through his sweet nephew who kept the doll on a shelf and never used him. The boy felt sorry for his lonely uncle and gave Dale to him. Then, the man set Dale down on a chair in his living room and studied him. He began to talk to him as if he were a roommate. He would wheel his chair past Dale and get angry the doll would not respond. He would toss him around until his jaw was broken. He yelled at Dale about all the people who did him wrong and how bad the world was and how he wanted revenge.

When Halloween was coming that year, the evil man began to collect items for his magic ceremony he planned to perform on Samhain. He wanted to make Dale take on the spirit of a dead magical master the man emulated and got all of his spells from. If he could bring back to life this brilliant evil master, he would have the ideal companion. So, he prepared Dale for the transference on Samhain when the veil between the dead and living was the thinnest. Each day, he anointed Dale with special oils and lit candles, said prayers, waved around incense wands and begged and prepared Dale to be the ideal vessel for his teacher.

Something came to life inside of Dale. He stirred and awakened, taking on more and more of the teacher's characteristics. The teacher was a man who liked to intimidate and manipulate others. He enjoyed frightening people and seeing the fear in their eyes. This spirit began to enter Dale as Halloween came closer.

Halloween came and the ceremony was long and arduous and Dale began to channel the teacher, his chin moving, words forming, animation entering his body. But, the overzealous practitioner knocked over his row of candles, catching his shirt on fire. Helpless in his wheelchair, he went up in flame. The tenants rushed in to help the man, but it was too late he died days later.

The fire was put out, the room fairly well intact and Dale was only soaking wet. Although the final part of the spell was not performed to permanently insert the teacher's spirit inside of Dale, he still has an open pathway every autumn to slowly take over Dale until Samhain when, once again, he cannot remain.

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About Me

I am a paranormal investigator who grew up in a Civil War field hospital where many unexplainable occurrences changed the course of my life. I spent my childhood digging up relics and helping my mother to uncover the history of the estate. A respect for man's history, archaeology and a curiosity about the unexplained universe rule my passion for my study and my theories on this site. The goal of this blog is to open minds and get people excited to seek that which they cannot explain.