Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Don't Show-cha Your Chorcha: Celine Dion Edition

A friend of mine, we'll call him Elyk, loves Celine Dion. He knows the words to all of her songs and does a pretty killer impression of her unique accent and intonation, which he claims is actually a new language called "Celinion."

He recently bought her latest concert DVD (using the self-checkout line in order to maintain his masculine street cred), then he brought it to my house and we watched it while making pizzagna (a deadly pizza-lasagna hybrid) and trying to replicate her seizure-like dance movies. At one point I wore a cape. It was awesome. Even more awesome? Her chocha-rific stage outfits.

Elyk and I thought it was about time to dedicate an installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha entirely to Celine. This is my 50th Don't Show-cha Your Chocha post, and what better way to celebrate such an epic occasion than to feature the most epic singer of all time? So now, behold: a world tour of Celine's best chorcha* moments:

Remember in 1997 when you first saw Celine Dion's chorcha?

How could you not remember this?

Ten years later, Celine's chorcha is back for revenge on the second-highest-grossing tour ever for a solo artist: the Taking Chances World Tour (1,265,385 chorcha viewers in Australia and U.S. ALONE).

Here she is singing her hit song "Chorcha Deep, Mountain High." (Enlarge photo at your own risk.)

"The Power of Chorcha"

"This is a Man's World, and her Mummy Chorcha Says Just This"

Here's some vagazzled chorcha (Even with pants on she can't keep it contained)

Wow, the chocha in the pink dress is inexcusable. Flesh colored underwear? At least wear some matching pink ones to emphatically point out you ARE NOT GOING COMMANDO. It's like she wants us to think there's nothing on under there.

she's got great legs so it doesn't hurt my eyes so much but for sake she's got a son - he must be proud :o and btw we have a celeb in poland who (on the concert for twenty years of career) looked like that: http://www.pudelek.pl/artykul/25080/edzia_swietuje_20_lecie_duzo_zdjec/ i feel like a lot is missing

Please let Elyk know that Celine's mystery language is called a Quebecois accent - I know this because I live terrifying close to it's origin (though thankfully separated by a heavily armed border crossing). :) PS I never thought I'd be grateful for my thighs but it's nice to know that no one could see my chocha if I was in a seated position with my knees locked together, a la photo #1.

Thanks! now when I quickly leave the Goodwill because Celine is on the loudspeaker, I'll dump the panties on the floor in Her honor...and how soon can you get a video of "elyk" doing a performance up on the DaddyLikey??

I'm sure you've already seen this, but just in case you or Elyk haven't...I now present to you the most amazing Celine-craziness compilation I have ever seen! http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/01/cline-dion-is-a.html

Hate to break this to Elyk but "Celinian" is called "Francaphone" here in Canada and it's hardly unique. It's an impossible accent to shake even for those who are fully bilingual. I've only met one person whose first language was Canadian French who could speak English without an accent. On the flip side I've found that perfecting a French accent is nearly impossible and I'm sure that my Anglaphone accent is just as grating to French ears.