Studio 6H is where we do "The Girlie Show" Did y'all see Tracy Jordan make a special appearance the other night? Wasn't that exciting? That is what we in the show business like to call a cameo. Hey, this is the star of "The Girlie Show", Jenna Maroney!

Jenna:

Hi. Thank you.

Tracy:

How you feel, NBC tour? 'Cause you look good, like a solid gold candy bar.

Just Jenna

Jack:

Where else do you have those piercings on your body?

Man:

This is it, everybody. Here he comes.

Jack:

No, no, no, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop. It’s only Jenna.

Man:

All right it's just Jenna.

Jack:

How you doing, Jenna?

Talking Tracy

Toofer:

Okay, I mean, granted, Tracy Jordan has some commercial appeal, but within his remunerative body of work, there's just nothing of value.

Jack! Haha! Oh my goodness! Good to see you again brother! it’s good to see you again.

Jack:

Oh, that is fantastic. You’ll have to teach me that handshake one day. Tracy, If there's anything you need, anything, you come to me.

Tracy:

Jack, man, you know I’m the kid. I’m easy like Sunday morning. Don’t look at me. Do not look at me in the eyes.

Jack:

Do not look at Mr. Jordan. Do not look at him in the eye.

Jack:

Just look away. Look away.

Tracy Meets The Writers

Liz:

Tracy, this is our producer, Pete.

Tracy:

Hey, you smoke weed, right Pete?

Pete:

uh...no.

Tracy:

Me neither. Me and you Pete, me and you.

Jack:

Pete, good to see you.

Pete:

Is it? Oh. Good. Good to see you too, cause that means I’m not fired anymore. I wasn’t going to mention that. But I did, and now I’m talking about it.

Jack:

Relax your balls Pete.

Jack:

Hey, everybody. Tracy Jordan's here.

Tracy:

Don’t just sit there, come here and give me some sugar.

Cerie:

No thank you.

Tracy:

Well if you ever want to piss off your parents, you come see me.

Jack:

Right this way Tracy. This is Tim Grandy, he’s from Bowie, Maryland. Rachel Bey, she just got engaged. Josh Girard, he got a 760 on his SATs, graduated form SUNY Cortland. Frank Rossitano has every copy of Black Tail Magazine ever published. J.D. Lutz, thyroid problem. James Spurlock, we call him Toofer, 'cause with him you get a two for one, he’s a black guy and a Harvard guy. And of course you know Lemon.

Let me just say, I’m excited to be here. It’s an honor for you to meet me. I’ve got a lot of characters I’m ready to bust out. I got a character named Biscuit. Write that up. Got another character named Rolando, who’s a two foot tall Spanish Hustler. Glasses, I want you to write that one. Got another character named Ching Chong, who loves to play ping pong. I just made that up right now. 'Cause that's how I flow.Now, I’m up for anything.

Josh:

Well I thought me and you could play Seinfeld and Bill Cosby.

Tracy:

No. I don’t like that.

Jenna Worried

Liz:

How you doing?

Jenna:

There is no way I am working with that guy. Do you know that he once got arrested for walking naked through LaGuardia? And that he once fell asleep on Ted Danson’s roof?

Liz:

Yeah, Tracy has some mental health issues.

Jenna:

He bit Dakota Fanning on the face.

Liz:

When you hear his version, she was kind of asking for it.

Jenna:

I-I can't even believe that you are doing this to me.

Liz:

Listen, I understand that this is tough for you, but what did I tell you?

Jenna:

Not to freak out?

Liz:

Right, and what else?

Jenna:

Stop falling in love with gay guys?

Liz:

About this.

Jenna:

That you're looking out for me, but it doesn't seem --

Liz:

Jenna, I'm your friend. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? The show is called "The Girlie Show" and you are the girl. Nothing is gonna change that.

Jenna:

Okay.

TGS?

Jack:

Glaub mir. Dieser Advantium Microwave sind beste.

Liz:

How could you change the name of my show without telling me.

Jack:

Detlev, I'm gonna have to call you back. Ja. Wunderbar. Plow chops.

Liz:

The Girlie Show is now "TGS with Tracy Jordan"?

Jack:

It tested very well with the focus groups.

Jack:

If you say you like it you can have some pizza. You people like pizza?

Liz:

You need to tell Jenna this whole thing was your idea and I didn't know anything about it and that she should be mad at you, not me.

Jack:

Oh sure, then we can sit around and braid each others hair until we get our periods at the same time. Lemon, you're a supervisor. These people are not your friends.

Liz:

Yes, they are my friends.

Jack:

No. They're your employees.

Liz:

Well, one of my employees is extremely mad at me. Will you talk to her?

Jack:

No, because then you're not going to learn anything. You have to manage these people, Lemon. It’s your show. You have the tools. Now get out there and build the house, add on a pool, and throw yourself in the deep end.

Liz:

What if I can’t swim?

Jack:

Then I’ll do what my father did when I was two. Lure you to the edge of the pool with a puppy and push you in.

Liz:

Yikes. Fine. I'll figure it out.

Jack:

We're going to be shooting some promos in an hour underneath the new sign. So have your people... write some stuff.

Freaky deakies

Tracy:

So I said, "Rick, this chick’s got an Adam's apple." And Rick said to me, I’ll never forget this, he said "freaky deakies need love too. Freaky deakies need love too."

No, he's not your employee. He's your product. Like it or not, you're in the Tracy Jordan business now. And when you screw the pooch the way you did today, it's your responsibility to get in there and make things right.

Liz:

How do I do that?

Jack:

I don't know. I'm a non genius.

Liz:

I'm really sorry.

Liz Apologizes

P.A.:

Lunch break. That's a lunch break. Back in 30 minutes.

Liz:

Tracy, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings before.

Tracy:

Please. You can't hurt me. I did stand up on the road. Crowd once threw a motorcycle at me.

Liz:

Good, cause I'm just trying to calm Jenna down. 'Cause she's kind of paranoid and neurotic. Your being here is just bringing out all of her crazy. And please don't think that everyone hates you. Pete thinks that everybody's an idiot, especially Frank, who is an idiot. Josh is just jealous cause your gonna get more screen time than him, and Toofer’s just afraid of black people.

Tracy:

Which one’s Toofer?

Liz:

The black guy.

Tracy:

Hmm.

Liz:

My point is, don't worry about them. You are the only person the network cares about.

Kenneth:

Miss Lemon, I just want to let you know y’all are on the monitors right now.

Liz:

So everyone can...

Kenneth:

Hear you and see you, yes ma'am.

Liz:

Son of a... Mother!

Jenna:

Paranoid? Well that just confirms all my suspicions.

Liz:

Sorry everybody.

Throwing Things

Liz:

Hey buddies. Alright, I deserve that. But I didn’t say anything about you guys that I wouldn’t have said to your faces. Fine. The important thing is, don't take this out on Tracy.

Pete:

That dude sucks.

Liz:

Are we going to talk about this like adults or are you just going to throw things at me? All right. Ok fine, get it out of your system. All right. Nothing that plugs in you guys! Nothing that could really hurt me!

The Deep End

Liz:

Hello.

Jack:

Lemon? How are things in the deep end?

Liz:

Fine.

Jack:

The staff is meshing together well?

Liz:

Oh, yes, yeah.

Jack:

Good. I'm counting on you.

Got to do something

Liz:

We got to do something.

Tracy:

Lets crash my car to see if the airbags go off.

Liz:

Let me explain what I'm talking about first. Everybody is mad at us.

Tracy:

Mostly mad at you.

Liz:

That’s because Donaghy threw me into the deep end of a pool that I didn’t even want to build in the first place. Look, I'm just saying, we both screwed up today. I think we should make nice and buy everyone some pizzas and some soft drinks.