FICTION

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meet the author

who i am, how i started and where i'm going

I have spent the vast majority of my life battling with three key things: Am I worthy? Is God enough? Is God really in control? When I started to truly explore my faith and started seeking answers to those very questions, I was shocked to find that many of you are battling those same feelings.

sometimes, we just live life with a shaky but unshakeable faith in Jesus Christ...and that's okay.

where it began

what is means now

I guess every good story begins somewhere around the middle. Nothing all that exciting happens early but still sets the stage for the rest of the plot. I grew up in South Alabama in a tiny little town nestled right near both the Florida and Georgia state lines. My mom was a homemaker and my daddy was a blue collar man who worked for John Deere for as long as I can remember. I have a younger sister and we had a smorgasbord of different pets growing up that we never managed to keep alive (insert story of a parrot and a bottle of Clorox, a hamster and a vacuum cleaner and a rabbit with a deadly carrot). All-in-all I had a pretty typical childhood. Around age six I had my first, "why is God doing this?" moment. A question I would find myself returning to over and over and over again throughout my life.

For a lot of years, I thought that there was something wrong with me because of my faith. Am I really saved? Would I even go to Heaven if I died? 'Real' Christians don't have these kind of questions or ever get angry with God....surely I am doing something wrong. I was living my life constantly in a state of fear that maybe I wasn't who I thought I was. I can honestly say that I have prayed hundreds of times for God to save me because I thought what I was feeling wasn't normal and that my worry, doubts and thoughts had to mean that I wasn't a "real" Christian. Fast forward to today, 2020—almost 21 years after I asked Jesus to come into my life—and I have learned that doubt, fear and worry within our faith isn't only normal for believers, but it's also a turning point in our faith. My purpose here is to encourage other women (and men, too) to embrace that doubt & allow God to work through it.

my name is courtney kirkland.

I believe it's not only okay but essential to our spiritual growth to live life on a constant roller coaster ride of steadfast faith and shaky belief. Some people disagree, but I believe it's in those "middle moments" of not being certain or confident about what's going on in our lives that we see Christ and His wonder shine the brightest.

Fun Facts

get to know courtney with these

Football. Salted Caramel Coffee. Leaves. You name it, and I love it. There's no better time of year than Fall. Anne of Green Gables said it best, "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."

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What started in 2008 as a way to keep family up to date with our then only sons happenings quickly morphed into an outlet and a way of sharing the many, many things God was doing in my life with the world. As I write and share pieces of our story, I invite you in to our chaos. I am so happy to have you along for the journey...