The art world will be shocked when experts declare Trump’s Renoir to be the real thing, causing the value of all Renoir masterpieces to plummet. Trump will immediately sell the painting on eBay, but will keep the fake gold frame.

Tom Brady will admit that he is not the greatest quarterback of all time. (Joe Montana is.)

Trump will invite Chi Chi Rodriquez to one of his golf courses in an insincere attempt to make up for Puerto Rico, but Chi Chi will decline the invitation, and Trump will tweet that the invitation has been withdrawn, prompting LeBron James to tweet: “U bum @ChiChi already said he ain’t going! So therefore ain’t no invite.”