Friday, November 7, 2008

Hello everyone. Thank you so very much for your well wishes and love and for your comfort in a dark moment.

Does anyone remember that, come to think of it, not so silly nursery rhyme, where this poor dude offers this material girl his heart and his love just so she would marry him but she wouldn't give in until he mentions the key to his house? I think the last stanza goes like this:

Dude (obviously in agony):

If I give to youThe key to my houseThe key to my house and all I haveOh, won't you marrymarry, marry, marryWon't you marry me

Girl (with a broad smile):If you give to meThe key to your houseThe key to your house and all you haveOh, I will marrymarry, marry, marryI will marry you!

(okay I got carried away there for a second humming the melody)

What does love truly mean? or maybe I should ask, what does true love mean?

Is it an action? Is it something you do? Is it that house you bought by the beach for her? Is it the rock on her finger? Is it the romantic bunch of flowers you sent to her office and it wasn't even val's day? Is it the humongous cake you left at her door on the morning of her birthday (woe betide you if she hates getting older just like I do. Sorry, I didn't tell you guys but my birthday was on the 17th of October, I conveniently let it slide because I hate to count the passage of time) What is the definition of love?

To me love is: giving all of you, everything, with no reservations, laying down your all. That’s what love means to me. Love is unselfish care for another, willing to get hurt as long as it is in the other’s interest. In the midst of your pain being happy that the other person is happy.

Sounds twisted, convoluted and confusing not so? Okay lemme break it down. When you are truly in love, you DO because you love, you don’t LOVE because you do. That house or car you bought doesn’t necessarily equal love, spending all your spare time with her doesn’t mean you love her, giving up your career to marry him doesn’t mean you love him. Love is what makes you do those things. The things you’ve sacrificed for this other person are an expression of your love and not the love itself.

The doing and giving are confused for love in our minds because love demands expression. When you are in love you do things to make this other person smile, make this person laugh, make this person glow with joy. You want to please this person, you dedicate your whole life to making this person happy. That’s love. How idyllic. When there’s no love on your part and you give and give one day you’ll be tired of giving and either stop giving or look for a way out as it will soon become a chore.

There is a need to express love and that is why it hurts when you are apart from the one you love. When he’s not there, it hurts because you can't express it. You can't kiss him, you can't hold him, you can't look in his eyes, you can't love him, you can't be with him, you can't make love to him, you can't hold his hand, you can't buy him that slim tie, you can't laugh at him, you can't run your fingers through his maybe thinning hair, you can't feel the warmth of his body against yours, you can't make him smile or hear him laugh, you can't you just can't! If you’ve ever felt that way that’s true love!

True love wants to jump up and proclaim itself. It drives you, it does. That’s what love is.

Remember, as you fall heedlessly in love, to do all you can to protect your heart.