Celebrity news from Marilyn Beck and Stacy Jenel Smith

Category Archives: Tacky Taste

Thanksgiving is here — time to remember all the things for which we are truly grateful. And it’s also time for our annual dishing of celebrity turkeys whose behavior you found hard to swallow this year. A big ‘thank you!’ to those who contributed comments and votes. Now, here they are, from the nefarious to the uproarious, with some dizzy ding-dongs in-between, the 2013 Beck/Smith Hollywood Tacky Taste Awards:

1. Miley Cyrus. “Surely Miley Cyrus deserves your tacky award. She has been trying so hard to be tackiest of all, with her twerking, her onstage pot smoking, her naked ‘Wrecking Ball’ video and seemingly more tackiness each and every week.” — BenP1600. “Her twerk-a-thon during the MTV Video Music Awards was about as sexy as a dog humping someone’s leg.” — Chris E., Woodland Hills, Calif. “Hannah Montana grew up and became Miley I da ho.” — Katelyn S., Albuquerque, N.M.

2. Justin Bieber, “for his pee-in-a-bucket and diss-Clinton video moments and his truly offensive written statement in the Anne Frank House guest book that he’d like to think Anne would be a ‘Belieber’ if she were alive today.” — Brandon_W

3. The Kardashians. For lots of reasons. Among them, contributor Grace H. of Burbank writes: “Kim Kardashian for refusing a baby gift from Katie Couric because, in her words, ‘I hate fake media friends.'” And then there’s … “Now it’s Kendall Jenner getting into the tacky Kardashian self-exploitation circus with her nipple-baring ‘art photography’ shot at 18, and her half-sister Khloe answers criticism of that by telling the public to ‘enjoy the view’?! No class whatsoever.” — Paula P., Lancaster, Calif. And then there’s … “Kanye West’s ‘Yeezus’ record is full of sleaze and the video with him and baby mama Kim Kardashian, where she is topless, is totally tacky. ‘I wanna $#@! you hard on the sink. After that get you something to drink.’ Really? Now, those are some crappy AND tacky lyrics!” — Jen R., Houston, Texas.

4. Alec Baldwin. “For his anti-gay outburst against a photographer and his homophobic rant on Twitter against a British journalist. And for being a smug punk with an anger management problem.” — Dan G., Spokane, Wash.

5. President Barack Obama/Obamacare. “I can’t believe they farmed out the job of programming the U.S. government’s affordable health care website to CGI Group Inc, a Canadian software company. Surely a good ol’ all-American software company could have #$@!’ed it up just as well.” — B.R., Athens, Ga.

6. Mia Farrow, “for blabbing to the world that she was still carrying on with Frank Sinatra and had a son by him long after he had remarried.” — Grace H. Burbank, Calif.

7. Chris Brown. “I nominate Chris Brown and the gossip media that still follows around this waste of space of a human being. [He was] thrown out of rehab for violent behavior and smashed the window of your own mother’s car with a brick. He needs jail.” — TimCCD.

8. This has been a terrible year for scandals among mayors and mayoral wannabes. Collectively, they landed in the Tacky Top 10. “Toronto’s Rob Ford is tackiest. Let us count the ways: He admitted smoking crack cocaine and is said to have imbibed vodka in his car and to have brought suspected prostitutes to his office. But he won’t resign.” — Mary M., Dearborn, Mich. “Your tacky winner is former U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner, hands down — or should it be pants down? In spite of the scandals over his sending lewd photos of himself to women on Twitter, he still wanted to run for mayor of NYC. This is the level of our leaders these days?” — J.B., White Plains, N.Y. “I nominate San Diego’s sexual harassment king and former mayor, Bob Filner. If false imprisonment and battery against three women, charges to which he recently pled guilty, isn’t the tackiest of all, I can’t imagine what is.” — Phyllidater.

9. Seth MacFarlane, “for bringing down the Academy Awards show to his own coarse, tacky, tasteless level. I grew up on the Oscars as the epitome of class and wit, and unforgettable moments like David Niven’s response when a streaker ran across the stage. To sink to a production number called ‘We Saw Your Boobs’ and an endless run of offensive jokes is truly sad.” — T.M., Dubuque, Iowa

10. Rihanna. “So tacky, the way she can’t keep her hands off her lady parts in concert. Wish she would lay off the dirty girl theatrics and just sing.” — YosiPF. And that’s it for this year! Here’s hoping your turkeys are tasty ones.

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all and a big thank you to readers of this column who submitted candidates for Beck/Smith Hollywood’s 35th Annual Tacky Taste Awards! Yes, we received votes for both President Barack Obama and former governor Mitt Romney this election year — but our tackiest Top Ten drew more. There are so many celebrity turkeys this year, we’d better get started before indigestion sets in:

1. Clint Eastwood. “Clint Eastwood’s endless, embarrassing ad libbed monologue to a chair at the Republican convention should get your tacky prize,” wrote M.C. of San Juan Capistrano, CA. “It was like seeing somebody’s drunken uncle ruin a party,” added LesB1. Or, as Heidi D. of New York put it, “I don’t think ‘Dirty Harry’ made anybody’s day this time.”

2. Joan Rivers. Contributor Grace H. of Burbank, CA proclaimed: “It’s fall and Tackies are crawling out of the woodwork. The silly season is in full swing. Joan Rivers got an early start by making a scene in a Burbank Costco parking lot because Costco refused to carry her nasty book ‘I Hate Everyone Including Me’ which was replete with the F word.”

3. “The Tacky Taste Award should go to: the Petraeus/Broadwell/Kelley/Allen mess or, briefly, ‘Generals Gone Wild'” wrote Robert A. He was part of a late surge in voting that took off earlier this month after David Petraeus stepped down as head of the CIA and admitted his affair with biographer Paula Broadwell — which has led to more revelations involving Florida socialite Jill Kelley and General John Allen. Joked reader Danette S. of New Orleans, “David Petraeus and John Allen: top generals taking orders from their

privates! Soooooo tacky.”

4. Lance Armstrong. Julia C. of Arizona summarized the feelings of many when it comes to the doping-tainted cyclist, who was stripped of his Tour de France titles. “The guy lied and carried on the facade of innocence for years. He was able to control his own team for many of those years to carry on his innocence. He truly is the master of lying publicly and getting us to believe in him — even idolize him. He got sponsors to pay millions to represent their products. Even when the story began crumbling, he had his lies rehearsed so well that he still seemed believable and almost made you feel sorry for him. The guy went to the Arnold Schwarzenegger School of Integrity and needs to hire Tiger’s PR guy.”

5. Donald Trump. From John W. of St. Louis: “The Evil egomaniac with the epoxied comb-over. Who could be more deserving of a tacky award than Donad Trump. Ranting that the election was a ‘sham and a travesty’ because he doesn’t like President Obama is typical behavior.”

6. Mary Kate Olson and her 16-years-older love, Olivier Sarkozy, the French banker who is also half brother of the former French president, Nicolas. Declared Grace.tra, “The pictures are revolting. She’s like a smoking Muppet on an outing with him and his (same height) daughter.” Echoed Arlene L. of Cedar Rapids, IA: “Tres tacky.”

8. Kristen Stewart. Roxieund1 was among those critical of the “Twilight” leading lady: “It isn’t that she cheated on Robert Pattinson that makes her so tacky. It’s her acting, which consists of one expression: constipated.”

9. The Media. Among complaints about biased news people and maniacal gossip hounds this election year were comments regarding the media circus surrounding Whitney Houston’s death. “It was the height of ghoulishness, when even CNN was advertising a ‘stake-out camera’ at the funeral home,” griped Atlanta-based Jbstcher.

10. Ann Coulter. Pam E. of New Haven, CT, was among those who feel, “Ann Coulter is tackiest this year and every year. She will say anything to get attention. Attacking the late Princess Diana (‘just this anorexic bulimic narcissist’) and using the word ‘retard’ for the President and then refusing to apologize for the slur are two examples of her ugly modus operandi.”

And that’s it for this year! Here’s hoping all your turkeys have the best of taste.

There was a time when Nicollette Sheridan’s court battle against “Desperate Housewives” creator Marc Cherry and ABC would have meant career suicide. The blond bombshell has branded herself as a troublemaker. She’s shown an edgy, prickly side on the witness stand. She’s invited scrutiny from the public and the media — the kind of scrutiny that involves repeated references to her 48 years of age and to her career having faded before being revitalized in 2004 by her “Desperate Housewives” role of Edie Britt.

Yes, there was a time we would have expected her to be expelled by the industry over this fight — relegated to the dinner theater circuit like Suzanne Somers when she fell from network grace after tiffing with “Three’s Company” over her demand for a 500 per cent pay raise and a piece of the show decades ago. There would be no win for Sheridan’s career, whether or not she wins some or all of the $20 million she’s aiming to get following her claims of assault against Cherry and subsequent wrongful termination. (Cherry’s jovial quips eliciting laughter from the jury this week — not a good sign.)

However, this is 2012, when good things happen to bad boys and girls. Charlie Sheen’s wanton carryings on, his beating up of women, his drug use, his arrests, his widely-booed Violent Torpedo of Truth stage show and all his internet strangeness got him a much-anticipated new FX TV series, “Anger Management.” Recent morgue worker Lindsay Lohan’s “Saturday Night Live” guest-hosting stint last weekend garnered the show its second highest ratings of the season. Also in the news is “Jersey Shore” low-life Snooki, famous for stumbling around intoxicated in public and so forth; as reports of her pregnancy swirl through the media, she sports a half-million-dollar engagement ring.

Nicollette, in fact, might not be bad enough. She’s going to need to step up her game and do more than show exasperation. She did slap her attorney, but only as a demonstration of what she says Cherry did to her. Maybe she should slap him for real, and get rid of those sedate dark courtroom clothes. Show cleavage. Show disrespect. Show up drunk. Have a wardrobe malfunction on the courthouse steps. Take a tip from Lindsay, who cleverly painted “f— you” on one of her fingernails knowing the cameras followed her every move as a defendant. It might not be too late for a “Mark Cherry Sucks” tattoo in an eye-catching spot, for example.

If Nicollette and/or her handlers are clever enough to use all this attention to burnish her brand as a still-hot-looking diva cougar, maybe it could actually help her career. Maybe there will be a new show in it for her. At the very least, surely Donald Trump would save a seat for her in his “Celebrity Apprentice” board room.