No? You don't remember? Well, it doesn't matter. The important part is that yesterday I fired up THE CAR THE BANK OWNS UNTIL I FINISH PAYING THEM BACK and piloted it on up to Sierra Cycles in Hartsdale, where shop owner Francisco Sierra had a Pine Mountain 1 waiting for me courtesy of Marin:

(Amazing the stuff that gets caught by Street View...)

The Pine Mountain 1 is one of the new breed of "27.5+" bikes, which mean's it's basically got 650b wheels with really wide tires--2.9" ones to be exact, which is not "fat bike" fat, but still pretty voluminous. Other than the of-the-moment wheel size, the bike is otherwise fairly traditional component-wise, and I'm sure the professional bike reviewers over at VeloNews would be horrified to learn it's even equipped with quick-release hubs instead of thru-axles. I, on the other hand, was rather relieved, because it meant I'd be able to throw it onto the roof rack without any adapters. What I didn't account for, however, was the rear wheel strap, which wasn't quite long enough to wrap around the plus-sized tire and catch the ratcheting buckle. As I studied the problem while scratching my head and grunting, it soon it dawned on me that when I can't button my pants (which is often) I just suck in my gut. So I applied this concept to the tire and kept letting out air until the buckle finally caught:

Guess I need some extra-long wheel straps, which of course is a thing now, but I'm in no particular hurry because I plan to spend as little time driving the bike around as possible. Instead, I plan to ride it, and I'll report back as soon as I have:

Of course, until I've done so I should refrain from saying anything positive about it, but I will anyway:

1) It's made of metal;

2) It's only $989 for the whole bike (keep in mind the mainstream cycling press now considers $5,000 to be a "bargain");

Especially when the subject of tire pressure figured so prominently in the debate:

Speaking of commie socialist bleeding-heart liberals, if you never met a single cyclist in your entire life and everything you knew about them came from reading newspapers, you could be forgiven for assuming there are only two kinds of people in this country who ride bikes: 1) commie socialist bleeding-heart liberals who shop at food coops and canvass by bike for other commie socialist bleeding-heart liberals; 2) adrenaline-addled bike messenger types whose saddles are sharp as razors and who always play to roll.

The delivery man was starting to chain his bike to the awning in front of 457 W. 57th St. at 5:45 p.m. on Nov. 2, when the 59-year-old super told him he wasn't allowed, police and building employees said.The man flew into a rage, spat on the woman and punched her in the jaw. When she fell to the ground, he then kicked her in the stomach, police said.He used his bike chain to whip her, a police source said.

Holy crap.

Surprisingly the article doesn't mention whether either party was wearing a helme(n)t, though it does say GrubHub now has its own team of delivery workers:

What? Restaurants have no idea who's even delivering their food anymore and now this happens? I can't believe the new sharing economy would let us down like this!

Yes, the delivery guy didn't beat up that building super. He "disrupted" her.

At the very least, if this particular delivery person can't handle the stress of parking a bicycle in New York City then he should at least ride a folding bike instead. Sure, it's just one more thing to carry when you're in a hurry and already laden with the chicken adana (warning: spicy!) from Kashkaval Garden. But now there's the Hummingbird, which only weighs slightly more than the kale piyaz (great for sharing, please specify size of your party):

I was alerted to the Hummingbird by a reader named Christopher who saw it here, but all you really need to know is that it's supposedly the world's lightest folding bike, it's made of crabon, and it seems to marry (or, if you prefer, steal) the rear-wheel auto-fellatio tuck of the Brompton and the felling-a-sapling steering column fold of the Dahon:

Here's what the creators have to say:

People who own folding bikes tend to be commuters. They cycle to and from their offices, folding their bikes and getting on the tube or bus along the way. It seems strange that there are no lightweight folding bikes on the market right now, since this is the most important feature of a folding bike.

True, but it doesn't seem to fold up nearly as small as a Brompton, and size is more important than weight when you're trying to bring a bike with you onto a bus or train:

If it was just about weight we could all commute on Specialized S-Wanks Venge-Schmenges and be done with it.

The Marin: Fatish, one-by, dick breaks. Is it tubeless? Jeez Snobs, you're hitting all the checkboxes, aren't you? I hope you at least get a good saddle on that thing, or Poppa Brooks is going to be pissed.

Kidding, that looks wicked fun. Can't wait for the ride report. And for a mere thousand bucks, you could get one for all seventeen(17) of your human children!

And could it be??? Could it be that Ted WHO ASKED YOU WHAT YOU THINK OF THE RACE TO THE PODIUM ANYWAY K has in fact given up the Ghost-Bot?? (blessed be)

I'm sorry, but isn't Mr Sagan still a jr in the grand scheme of two wheeled things? Is he actually in fact old enough for the nupitals, or did he need a note from his mummy before the man would tie the knot?

Anonycommenter @ 5:55 yesterday - it's bringing YOU down?? Tell you what: all of those damned crashes quite literally bring me down, too. She didn't fucking see me because she didn't fucking LOOK. Pedestrian deaths in Vancouver double between November and January, with the vast majority of them happening in marked intersections where the pedestrian has the right of way. But instead of cracking down on speeding and distracted motorists, ICBC just launched their annual campaign to blame the victim and warn pedestrians to wear bright, reflective clothing if they dare to leave the house without getting inside their manslaughter machines after dark.

Wow, that Marin is extremely price friendly, and has all of the cool and hip features. Do I spy front rack bosses on the fork? You could bikepack, bro! Like, cowabunga, man. You could get a bunch of them for the price of 1 Venge Schmenge and start you own bike rental service.

I did a 100% utilitarian commute yesterday. I replaced all of the consumables on my Raleigh Sports and took her for the 12.5 miles from suburban home to urban office.No bike clothes, messenger bag in my folding basket...the only concession I made was to put on a rear blinky light. It was pretty awesome. Who knew riding a bike could be so easy??

Wheel strap problem: why not just keep a toe strap with that bike (i always keep 2 around my saddle rails cause you never know) and use that instead of the ratcheting strap? Or toss a floor pump in the car on your way out the door...

Ahh. Kashkaval Garden!!!! I always get the Grilled Octopus but the chicken sounds good. I also am a big fan of the babaganoush, since it actually tastes like something there. And the fondue! Plus ninth ave has good bike parking in the area.

Dropouts are gross. Really, who is putting a rack on this bike? Bikepackers are all about the frame/seatpost/bar bags. Racks are for commuters and sheldon brown types.

OK, the geometry on this bike is a step in the right direction from Snob's current retro grouch, twitchy road bike style mountain bikes.Head angle= 69 deg... moving in the right direction.Stem length= at least it's sub 100mm. I predict, snob will crash less than normal on this bike.

Marin is def off that back in a lot of other ways. I mean the fact they don't even list "reach" is EPIC FAIL in 2015.The chainstays are a mile long. There is no reason for a giner or 27.5+ bike to have chainstays north of 420mm dood.

Seat angle, 70 deg?!?!? Really, this is not Y2K, should be 74-75. If the front end wanders on climbs, and front end wheelies too easily going up steeps, it's not the "slack" headangle that's the culprit, it's the slack seat angle.

Reach is too short for given size. It's kinda hard for me to extrapolate what the reach on the bike is from the ETT, cuz I really haven't looked at any bike with such a kicked back seat angle in awhile. But the chopper seat angle makes the ETT longer, but reach shorter, than it actually is compared to current bike with good climbing, steep seat angle. I'm gonna guess 1/2" longer ETT compared to 75 deg bike?

27.2mm post?!?! Really?!?! Pretty much a kick in the nuts to any customer that might want a dropper post at some point. Game changer on the level of clipless or disc brakes.

It's somewhat a bummer it has the boost rear end. Otherwise, you could slap your giner wheels on it. Considering how retro, the rest of the spec is, you think they'd keep it 135mm, so you could swap wheels. 29"X2.0" = 27.5+ x 3.0" outside dia. I don't think boost is mandatory for chain/tire clearance... especially with the single ring.

Based on the need expressed in today's barely coherent rambling,I have decided to start a Kickstarter campaign to generate $100,000 so that I can produce an artisanally created and curated Bike Wheel Strap that will meet the needs of the rapidly growing community of 27.5 sized wheel owners. Cash only please.

I tend to spoil my honey. She lives in a push button world where all she has to do is beckon if something isn't going her way. I know I know it's nauseating but in turn.......she tends to spoil me as well. IF YOU KNOW WH........

One time I was told a story about a truck driver who ignored the clearance signs and got stuck under a low bridge. They called the cops, they couldn't figure out how to get the truck out. They called a tow truck, but they didn't know either. They called the public works dept., nope, the mayor, nope, the smartest guy from the university, nope... they called all the king's horses, but all their ears and mouths were too far apart to use a phone. They then (yes, in that order) called all the king's men, but nobody could get the truck moving again. You know what I mean, this here's the repetitive part of the story, so essential to illustrating a task and a conundrum and a problem of seemingly brobdignagian proportions. So that you then get to have pathos when an 8-year-old kid sitting on his Huffy nearby says "Hey why don't you guys just let the air out of the tires and drive it out?"

The moral of the story is, "Think Different" (and implicitly, FUCK ADVERBS)

That new Marin is a gateway bike to full fatbike shenanigans.You'll find yourself rationalizing a purchase of a bike with "only slightly larger tires" and a cool movie theme paint job before you know it.

Yep. You've gotta love an anonylover. And it is getting old. I ride for twenty some odd years without incident (after a few 'incidents' like a dooring and the old right hook as a bike messenger in the late eighties, early nineties) and suddenly rubbersidedown goes sideways like clockwork. SNAFU.

After yesterday's CJ silence, I was hoping that Captain Obvious could retire. Alas, CJ is still bloviating pointlessly and Captain Obvious is still employed. Captain Obvious has a question, however: Is it possible to have a circle jerk by yourself? Nobody will jerk with CJ because, unlike Sagan, he always finishes first. He's a veritable five stroke genius.

Had just about enough of disruption. Why don't all you geniuses figure out first why the existing system is the way it is - sometimes there is a reason - then how it can be improved, then set about doing it. And then by that time you're ready to retire and/or die. What could be finer!?

We had a nasty storm blow through yesterday. Apparently there was a "river of moisture" spread from Vancouver clear across the Pacific to Japan. And believe you me, we were dealt oceans of moisture overnight, with hurricane force winds just up the coast. Remembering the little guy's admonishion the other day, I forwent (is that the past tense of forego??) the biekcycle ride.

Monsieur Grubhub's main problem isn't his pour social-skills (and oui, supa-sure [get-it: super:superintendent :-] that he's def french-o-file/talker, likely Quebecoiser or from that non-rum/cocaine-fueled side of Isla Hispaniola), it his inexperience in this line of work. Seasoned pro's like the guys i buy weed off from call these sorts "rookies".

he would do well to keep his phone headset on at all times, even if he don't actually have a phone.this way, not only can he talk to himself pretending he's speaking to dispatcher, he's got plausible excuse to ignore any &everyone who tries interacting w/ him using social conventions like talking.

moreover n' shit, don't forewent fact taht ignoring people while securing bike to where i/he please means any opposition (unless theyre also up for beatdown) won't utter more than few sentences in time required to insert-key/twist open/reengage mechanism (even for a rookie).

if he's not awaiting arraignment, Learning Annex holding courses this month on this very topic...messgr-work 101, not streetfighting). maybe his grubby non-employer will subsidize a group-class for all the independent-contractors that they exploit.

btw, the big-mouth super couldve avoided receiving speedknots if she'd offered $1 to messgr-man if he'd lock elsewhere.moral here is when some under-employed jerk is trying to make money riding a bycycle and u have need to bother him, tipping will always catch more flies than vinegar.

Sponsored Linkway:

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!