Dear Met Gala, I’m Not Angry, Just Disappointed

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Sincerely,

anyone with eyes or an understanding of what the hell should have happened.

After witnessing 2017’s drab debut of skin on more skin, I think everyone would agree a re-run of last year’s gala would be of more interest. Yes, last year took a big *trump on everyone’s ability to live but at least the gala was a lovely eye-vacation we all could take, as a legal form of escapism.

For those who see the red carpet and assume it’s just another Oscar’s gloating fest, well may I assurance you there is not one award in sight.

No, this event created by Vogue doubles as a chapel service, paying homage to fashion design as an art form.

Since 1948, fashion heads watch the food feast that innovative Haute Couture Houses create, debuted on people most of us see more often than family (courtesy of snapchat).

Literature buffs can also appreciate the Gala as really a story within a story, with walking art gathering in the presence of more art, captured in clicked time.

The vision of Wintour sitting on the ground of her office, ripping and pasting this years ensembles into her burn book is probably the only thing that kept me present in this debate.

However, after a week of watching (dying a little) and re-watching the Vogue slideshows for evidence, I finally settled on the following 13 and then 4 reasons why the Meta Gala doubles as the Trump election of 2017.

*Let the roast commence.

The first appetiser of disappointment began with a lack of established stars. No, not the Instagram It-girls, I mean the real movie stars or artists who earned their place on the carpet through a little something the rest of the world calls hustle. Ahem— Queen B? JB? Adele? Will Smith? Where are you all now that we need you? (I’m sure on an islands somewhere as the fashion world burns. It’s K.)

I couldn’t help but think this was a strategic ploy of Wintour’s to transition our tastes from the 2000’s familiar fame to their fresh-faced offspring. And like our parent’s first divorce, ain’t nobody got time for that.

The world may have embraced technology but that doesn’t mean we can’t be salty about the industry’s shame which prioritises name over game.

If this gala has taught the world anything, it is that Wintour is still raining Queen, the Met Gala her prom and hustle is way better worn then born #howaboutdat.

The second side of let-down was the lack of theme-following. Many celebs (or almost-celebs) adapted the usual Oscar’s skin show. Some even panicked and went for the overdone and irrelevant red or black ignoring to commit to the two unspoken themes of the night being originality and O.T.T. For that we award them with an F for failure to impress or even critically think about the rest of the colour spectrum. Victoria Secret Models, let’s really try hard next year.

Speaking through a frosty Wintour filter, yearly rotation of Met themes are best attended to,as they not only dictate attendance for the following year but show respect for the exhibit.

The wrong outfit also ruins the whole mis-on-scene of the message. If invited you are expected to be a piece of art, touring some more similar art. I am all for fashion individualism but you cannot turn up in a rose-printed fit and flare when the theme is unconventional ideals of beauty.

I can only imagine Kerr’s publicist telling her as her limo pulls up to the carpet. Poor dear, the rest of her night was probably a game of hide and go seek, with the hope of not being mentally strapped to the hood of Wintour’s sparkly Channel pick-up truck.

The main meal of destruction was served up in the 2017 theme which was as risky and cruel as demolishing a jam donught in front of a model, after two weeks of ‘clean eating’. And by clean I mean cigarettes and green juices.

True to form, each year the event takes on a different theme to direct the dress code. Success stories included ‘Superheros: Fashion and Fantasy (2008)’ and ‘Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty (2011)’. The 2015 Gala showcased ‘China: Through the Looking Glass’ was labelled most memorable, with Rihanna’s ochre flavoured fur saturating the carpet and our minds in stilted time.

However, it is safe to say until this year Alexander McQueen was the only designer honoured with a Gala theme of his own. Unfortunately for Wintour, the artist and theme of 2017 (Rei Kawakubo) wasn’t as dead. Kawakubo echoed her opinions across the gramophone that is cyberspace, stating she had disagreements with the collaborators on how her line was exhibited.

If you don’t know her by name you would know her by her clothing range found in Incu or Iconic, donned with red hearts with eyes. She is also the adorable inspiration behind Edna of The Incredibles.

The trailblazer and Tokyo-born designer of over forty years really doesn’t care for conventions. Such rebellion includes refusing to loan her designs for celebrity award shows or attending Vogue publicity parties.

Rei Kawakubo is the woman to thank for your comfortable, oversized winter coats and sweaters. She is also responsible for making fashion honest via exposing zippers and making the deconstructed look more than just a trend.

In a salty yet sweet rebuttal of the poor torched celeb, the Met Gala selecting an artist as the theme really did limit scope of direction. Especially as designers have been making these garments for over several months.

Also, asking another designer to adopt another aesthetic is a bit like asking Rhianna to stop being single and then expecting her not to massacre you in a room filled with your peers. Yep that did happen and god did she torch that poor human.

So in reaction, celebrities tend to embrace the gala’s own individualistic themes recycled every year by a fresh face. Is this disrespectful to the theme and artist? Most definitely. But the damage is done now, all we can do is re-watch and cringe in unison.

13 Reasons why you should take a peak at the Vogue slide show (before running away):

Vivienne Westwood updated the 70’s craze of power dressing, with a cropped version reflecting today’s love of leg. Karlie Kloss’ legs in particular.

The debate of what the hell smart-casual means, in accordance with throwing in a winter feel was a ‘heated’ debate. Super sleuth Priyanka Chaplain took on a trench by Ralph Lauren as well as Solange Knowles following suit with a puffer jacket. Both takes fed into the golden thread of the night begging the question, can high fashion be comfortable and fabulous?

Breathing life back into the naked and deconstructed dress were It-girls Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner.

Avant-garde Queens of the night were Ri-Ri and Katy Perry. Thank you ladies for gifting the world with something to lose our shit over, as well as wisely embracing the theme of unconventional ideals of beauty. #Wasthatsohard?

Wintour looked classic in untouchable Channel. The intricate hand-beading likened her to Sia’s chandelier if it had exploded, spraying beautiful shrapnel all over. A fur band kept her knees warm in accordance with her most prized accessory, her frosty ambiance.

Our inner Halloween child’s heart broke as SJP didn’t deliver her presence nor eye-candy which we all feel entitled to since Carrie was born into the world.

Kylie Jenner was a standout, with Donetella replacing Tyga’s presence. The overall look was a picture of the time’s ideal female dress-code, executed flawlessly. The dualities were encompassed in the sexy figure-hugging silhouette paired with a 1900’s classic blush colouring.
The bead work, incredible illusion of the dress and platinum bob, take the cake as the most whimsical piece of the night, let alone year.

Nicki Minaj and Zoe Kravitz utilised black to showcase different deconstructed ideas of beauty, channeling 17th century royalty complete with floating robes by Oscar de la Renta and H&M. A stand alone example definitely worth a look was Lily James in Burberry. The corseted gown a reminder of Queen B’s latest album, if it was made into a pure white wedding dress. Regality in silhouette coupled with a beehive pattern made the dress simply sublime.

Rita Ora and Emma Roberts were beautiful representation of over the top red hollywood glamour, with Roberts ushering connotations of funk and sustainability with a pink fur accent adding to her gown which is vintage Armani Privé. #Gotheredcarpetgreendress

Kim was the biggest shock of the night, getting it both right and wrong. She was rather forgettable to put it plainly, her Kanye anklet left at home. Kim wore Vivienne Westwood’s take on all white and skin-tight. Compared to her prior years of bleeding diamonds and buttered satins, this was rather a shock. However, you do have to admire how she stays true to herself, adapting the wrong dress-code appropriate for every event.#YougoKimyCoCo,yougo!

Kate Hudson also made the same bleached mistake, which transferred to her hair. With Versace on another’s arm, she was as memorable as a sock.

Blake Lively dazzled in dripping gold Atelier Versace, spilling out into a feathered gradient at her feet. Definitely an accident of awesome, with or without Ryan on her arm.