Closed captioning provides an immeasurably valuable service to all kinds of viewers, from the hearing impaired, to the guy watching Sportscenter for the sixth time on his lunch break at T.G.I. Friday's. But we had no idea how often they got things completely, hilariously wrong. Look at all the fun we've been missing out on by not being deaf.

The National Weather Service is urging people to stay indoors, saying that going outside is "just asking for it."

But whose butt is it? Just another one of LOST's unanswered mysteries.