Texting Men Trips Up Newly Single 40-Something

Dear Harlan: I met an attractive man at a coffee shop last week. We had a great conversation and exchanged numbers. He told me that he would text me the next week, but I never heard from him. I don’t want to look desperate, but I want to text him. I should also mention that I’m in my 40s and newly single, so I’m not up on tech etiquette. Would it be wrong to text him? My friends tell me to move on because he’s probably married. What do you think? — Single Again

Dear Single Again: His phone could have been stolen (watch season two of “Master of None”). He could have written your number down incorrectly and accidentally texted another woman (hopefully they don’t fall in love). He also could be married and your friends are totally correct. I’ve got three suggestions: First, find friends who believe in romance. You need positive single friends who are going to be in your corner. Dating is much more fun that way. Next, stop thinking too much. Remember, you can do nothing wrong at this point. Text him if you feel like it. Tell him what you’re thinking, but keep it simple. Tell him you enjoyed meeting him. Let him know you’re still around. If he responds, do a background check. Check out the website beenverified.com. The website brings up all public records (the police record search can be misleading). It can help you sniff out a liar. In addition, do a Google search (use quotes around his name). The quotes will give you a more detailed list of results. Look at the “News” category and “Images” category. You might be able to pull up old wedding announcements or other juicy stuff. This should take you about 10 minutes. The most important thing you should do is to have options. When you have options, you won’t overthink things. When you have options, you can set boundaries. Between online dating, setups and random meetings, you have a lot of options.