Tuesday’s TPS Report: Short Sleeve Printed Dress

Welcome! Are you an overachieving chick? Do you want more fashion, lifestyle, and career advice? Please consider signing up for our newsletter or subscribing to our RSS feed. Thank you for visiting!

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

So we know after my little shopping expedition the other day that I’m a fan of BOSS — add this dress to the list! I love the graphic florals, the muted blues, and the flattering hemline and wearable sleeves. It’s $295 at Bloomingdale’s, sizes XS-XL. BOSS Black Short Sleeve Printed Dress

Comments

Thanks to everyone who gave me great tips on pumping on a plane! Just got back from our trip and the pumping went well. Fortunately I was seated next to a woman (with H on the other side of me) and she was a nursing mother so it was no biggie. And with how loud the plane was, she said that she couldn’t even hear anything.

I had my baby with me, but I didn’t nurse (he never took to it), so I pump exclusively. Some tips:

1) Go to bathroom and change into pumping bra. 2) Try to get a window seat 3) Put on nursing cover and then put on parts underneath 4) Buy Medela easy wipes to wipe down all parts afterwards, and then rinse with bottled water in bathroom, and dry off 5) You can keep expressed milk without refrigeration for a few hours, but if you want you can also carry an ice pack or have the flight attendant put the milk in the fridge for you

I think nursing would have been way easier so if that’s an option for you, would highly recommend that route. However, I found that pumping is doable and I’m glad it worked out.

You are so lucky to be nurseing and abel to take a plane and had a good situation. When I last flew with the manageing partner to PITSBURG, he did NOT leave me alone to rest, and I need alot of rest when I fly b/c I should be drinkeing water to hydrate, but do NOT want to have to get up to pee during the flieght. Once when I went with Rosa to Cancune, all these sloppy guy’s came up to us on the plane and wanted to know everything about us (particularely Rosa). She was NOT married yet, but was dateing Ed, but that did NOT stop those guy’s from askeing all these question’s!!! They were the worst! And fineally, when I went to Saint Louis, I realy did NOT like flying b/c I had to deal with bieng nice to the Cleint, Jim, who was acteing weird alot of the time. FOOEY! He is comeing here again today. I hope he does NOT want me to take him out to eat. He gets alot of food in his front teeth, and it is GROSS! DOUBEL FOOEY on that!

Good morning! I desparately need some advice. I am an attorney “in transisiton” as they say. I re-relocated to the DC area from Silicon Valley last summer due to a family emergency. I have had 2 long term in house assignements over the past year (substanital cotract negotiation, not document review), but am looking for a permanent job. Last Friday, I got notices for rejections from three jobs that I applied for (all within a 2 hr time span!). I had gone through first, and sometimes even second round interviews for all of these jobs, so I stupidly assumed that one of them would work out. I am having real problems with getting motivated this week to send out resumes, get in touch with my network ect., as my mind says why bother, you are going to get rejected anyway. Does anyone have any advice on how to get my motivation back? Also, if anyone knows of any inhouse positions for attorneys involving software licensing, technology transactions or outsourcing, I would love to hear about it.

I’m in a similar boat. I give myself permission to take a break (watch Mad Men or a season of Mad Men or all the seasons of Mad Men, as needed) and then, after a break, I get some caffeine and buckle down. Job searching (and especially interviewing) is very exhausting and it’s important to take breaks so the interviews you get are showcasing your best self. And heck yeah congratulations on getting all those call backs!

When I was unemployed, my husband would say to me “the only way to guarantee you WON’T get a job is to sit on the couch and do nothing.” But then, a kick in the pants usually works better for me than sympathy so YMMV. I’d take a day or two off and get out of your routine somehow — go for a bike ride, get drinks with friends, whatever gives you a change of scenery to keep you from moping. Then make a list of what you’re going to accomplish this week — emailing three people, sending out two applications, whatever works for you. Then congratulate yourself at the end of the week for accomplishing your goals. (Because “get a job” is not really a goal since it’s not something you can control. But you CAN control concrete activities. So be proud of yourself for that.)

Also, kudos for being impressive enough to get actual dings. Plenty of people go through multiple rounds of interviews and then never, ever, ever hear from the employers again. (I’m not being snarky. Getting an actual ding is impressive these days.)

Lots of opportunities in the Seattle area – Microsoft and Amazon are both hiring lawyers like crazy. Seattle is an awesome place to live. I’ve literally spent the morning hanging out with friends at a beach only to drive 45 mins. to a ski mountain to take a ski lesson in the afternoon.

Treat job searching like studying for the bar. It’s long, boring, disheartening, and you have to do it. Give yourself set tasks and deadlines for those task, then complete them. And take enjoyable breaks!

I recently received an LinkedIn message from a recruiter looking for software licensing/tech transaction position in-house in the DC metro area. If interested, email me at atomsH20 @ yahoo dot com and I can try to track down the info for you.

Sorry to hijack this, but another set of good thoughts. I was afraid you wouldn’t if I posted in yesterday’s thread NOLA and I’m just now reading today. My heart goes out to you–I lost my dad 15 years ago and it is HARD.

But — wool? With no mention of a lining? Not sure that is going to work in the sticky south as a summer dress.

Two questions (inspired by yesterday’s jackets-in-courtrooms interwebs items): 1. Can someone style this with a jacket? 2. Something less structured (cardigan, etc.) that is less formal but maybe a bit more Office and a bit less Borderline Church Attire.

I think this would look great with a navy blazer. You could also do red or white (if that is a true white) if you’re feeling a bit more crazy. I think you’re right that a cardigan with this would be difficult in a more formal office environment (albeit one where you can still generally wear cardigans). I agree that it could skew toward church wear. You could possibly do a swacket (which I believe is a Kat-trademarked term) so the cardigan has a bit more structure. I would avoid one like the J. Crew Jackie, I think it is. That is, the crew neck, very conservative type of cardigan.

Dresses like this with blazers are my workday uniform (big-for-the-regional-market law firm). With this one, I’d try my navy, dusty blue, or berry blazers, or maybe even a kelly green or chambray blazer for a Friday. Agree with preg anon that traditional cardigans can be tough to wear with dresses like this at the office.

Assuming that the pattern is all blue and not blue and black, you could wear it with a tan or brown blazer and coordinating brown or nude-for-you shoes. A bright yellow blazer would also look great, depending on the formality of your office.

Have any of you super stylish and smart women ever had a coworker or friend who seemed to copy you? I’m talking hair, clothes, hobbies, lifestyle choices..the list goes on. I know what they say about imitation and flattery, but I actually find it a little annoying.

I don’t think I’d ever say anything. I can’t imagine how that conversation would go or what good would come from it, but it sure is frustrating to come to work and find out your coworker has bought the same skirt you just purchased the week before (on purpose).

Really, there is nothing to do but take it as a compliment. Until she starts looking to steal away your SO/family.

I’m sure it’s annoying, but she probably looks up to you in all these areas and thinks, “Dang, Anonymous always buys the nicest skirts. I wish I could find a skirt like that!” Think of it as an annoying little sister–they mean no harm. One thing you MIGHT want to do (which is how I handled the little sister through my entire teens/early twenties…) is to offer tips and tricks so that this coworkers can learn from you w/out directly copying. For ex., “oh, Anonymous! That skirt is awesome! Where did you get it?” You could say where you got it, or you could say what drew you to it/why you bought it, etc. (and then add in where, if you want). Something like, “Thanks! I found it after an afternoon hunting in the boutiques downtown. Have you ever been to [store 1] or [store 2]? I saw some similar skirts there that I bet would look great on you!”

We are both in our early 30’s and I know my husband knows that it is dangerous but he says “I am still paying attention.” or “I’m only looking for a second.” No rational argument works with him. A few times I have been sleeping in the car and woke up to him swerving because he was playing on his phone. The other day he asked me to look up directions on my cellphone and apparently I wasn’t quick enough because as I was looking down, I felt him swerve to the right and slam on the breaks. I look up and I see him looking at his damn phone. He wasn’t paying attention and tried to make a left and a car almost hit us. I have tried to reason with him, I have flown off the handle and yelled at him, told him I don’t trust him driving with our future kids, told him it is disrespectful to me to put my life in danger so he can read the WSJ while driving. He even attended a presentation at work where a state trooper came in and discussed the dangers of distracted driving and included graphic pictures of accidents that have resulted.

None of this has changed his behavior. In fact, he gets mad at me when I get upset and says it is my fault he swirved/went off the road/didn’t see that car. Help. Sometimes I want to smack him upside the head.

FWIW my husband is intelligent and well educated but reasoning with him hasn’t done anything.

Have you tried talking with him about it when you’re not in the car? If you’ve tried everything (including things like “how would you feel if you hit and killed a child because you weren’t paying attention?”), and he won’t budge, I just wouldn’t ride in the car with him anymore. Period.

Seriously. Ridiculous. Does your husband constantly fiddle with his phone when he’s not driving too? Force of habit combined with what sounds like quite a stubborn streak… I agree with TBK to either stop riding with him and see if that makes an impact (if that’s remotely practical), or before you get in the car you confiscate his phone until you arrive.

The part about him blaming you for his distracted driving is troublesome on its own, though.

Definitely have the conversation outside of the car, when you are both calm. Tell him you feel unsafe with this behavior. Ask him about the presentation from the trooper, why it does or doesn’t apply to him.

And ditto – if he doesn’t give you his phone to hold when he’s driving (or refuses to turn it off), I’d refuse to get in the car with him, just like you wouldn’t get in a car with someone who insisted on driving drunk.

This–asking him to hand over the phone, etc. Luckily my bf is not there yet, as he actually will stop fiddling with ipod/gps when I tell him to stop/get upset. If he even tries to blame me or did not stop, I would refuse to be a passenger.

And when you speak to him about it outside of the car, explain that you won’t ride with him just like you wouldn’t ride with a known drunk driver.

You likely need to have a conversation about respect here too. Ultimately, although you wish he would agree with you and stop texting while driving across the board (because it has been repeatedly proven to be extremely dangerous!), he *should* respect you enough to recognize that his behavior is making you upset. Instead of getting mad, he needs to take this as one of those marriage compromises he needs to make, not because he agrees, but simply because it is so important to you. I’m sure you have examples of things you have “let go” or agreed to do or compromise on that he hasn’t necessarily converted you to his cause, but you do or don’t do them anyhow because you know it is so important to you.

However, if you plan on having kids with him, there needs to be some resassurance that he doesn’t revert to this behavior when the kids are in the car. But maybe by then texting while driving will be completely illegal everywhere, as it is in many places already.

+1. Check out http://www.distraction.gov for other statistics, research if he is an otherwise logical thinker. There’s research out there that the majority of drivers believe they are better than average drivers; clearly your DH believes this too, despite his close calls. If he won’t listen, at least make sure you increase both his life insurance and other liability insurance and let him know why you’re doing it.

I wouldn’t ride in the car with him, either. In fact, I wouldn’t even get in the car with him unless he handed his phone over to me before getting behind the wheel. And yes, have the discussion outside the car so he has fair warning, and then be firm and don’t ever make an exception. He hands over his phone or your drive yourself.

That is awful. Tell him you’re not comfortable with him at the wheel because he makes you feel unsafe, and don’t let him drive. Tell him you’re not comfortable sharing an insurance policy with such a risky driver, if it applies, as well.

Consider getting a carmount for your phone, which will let you set the navigation but is a pain to then fiddle with afterward. You can also activate “driving mode” in a lot of phone nav systems so that you can’t click out of the navigation without actually quitting it.

He isn’t only putting his and your lives in danger, but also those of other people on the road.

My uncle was driving and was hit by someone who was texting and driving. Unfortunately, my uncle’s car caught fire and he suffered third degree burns to 70 percent of his body. Nine months later, he is still a long way from recovering and lives in chronic pain. Now he can hobble around (I wouldn’t call it walking), he cannot use his hands, bend his elbow, or bend his shoulders. Although he has already had dozens of surgeries, he faces at least six more (on each elbow, shoulder, and knee). Hopefully once those are completed (and he does many more months of rehab), he will be able to feed himself, go to the bathroom and shower alone, scratch his own nose, walk up a set of stairs, use a computer, and do any other basic human function that we take for granted every day.

Can you imagine having to live every day knowing you put someone else in this kind of condition? No text, set of directions, email, etc. is worth it.

I wonder if the situation you’re describing isn’t a form of spousal abuse. Your husband is placing you in a situation in which you have told him – repeatedly, it seems – that you fear for your life. Despite you telling him that his behavior makes you afraid, he does it anyway, thus knowingly placing you in a situation that 1) you cannot easily leave, because you’re already in the car, and 2) makes you fearful for your physical safety. Fwiw, there is certainly precedent for charging parents with child endangerment for texting with their children in the car. I would not be at all surprised if driving with a spouse while texting, over the spouse’s objections, could give rise to domestic abuse charges.

There is not really the same duty of care to a spouse as there is to a child, though I could imagine some creative charging by the prosecutor that might get there. Certainly if he is not letting her out of the car, that could be false imprisonment or even, depending on the facts, kidnapping. Also, if he gets in an accident and kills someone, that could be vehicular homicide based on the reckless driving (at least in my state.)

I would honestly not drive with him anymore unless he was willing to put his phone out of reach.

Hey-vicarious shopping question. I have a big dressy event to go to in a few weeks where there will be a loooot of photos taken. I’ve got my daily routine down makeup wise, but I thought it would be fun to splurge on one or two high quality, high impact makeup items at sephora. For more info, I have olive skin, hazel eyes, and brown hair. I always wear eyeliner, and the dress I’ll be wearing is blue. I aleady have primer. So that’s out. Other than that-any recommendations? Any recent purchases yourevin love with? I’m planning on spending 60-80 total.

I do really like the Make Up Forever HD foundation (even with oily skin).

I did a ton of makeup research for a recent wedding, and ended up NOT buying anything at Sephora but the foundation, so I’d encourage you to keep your options open. I bought Wet n’ Wild eyeshadow palette (rivals Urban Decay per Makeup Alley) and Milani primer (same), and have loved loved loved both now for months.

False eyelashes, individual ones. This will probably have the most impact and is the kind of thing I love to do for a special occasion. Other ideas: Bobby Brown gel eyeliner; Chanel lipgloss and/or nail polish; YSL touche eclat foundation or concealer.

Honestly, instead of spending money on make-up, I’d get lash extensions (they may be more than $80, though). Then, I’d just do regular make-up (maybe a little more liner than usual and some on the bottom lash line) and eyeshadow / blush.

Another idea is brow filler. I love the Anastasia kit (filler and clear mascara stuff). Make sure your brows are shaped and cleaned up and fill in the brow with the powder.

I don’t have any specific recommendations, but I’d take pictures of yourself with a strong flash in various lighting to make sure your make-up doesn’t do anything strange in the pictures. People here have complained about that.

I think that eyes would probably give you the most impact… I’ve never used brow filler or fake eyelashes and the latter sounds like an awful form of torture to me, but I know i”m definitely in the minority there, so it may be worth looking in to.

If it’s just for this one event, how about booking an appointment to get your makeup done at sephora? It’s free with a $50 purchase… you could buy a few of the products she uses on you for touch-ups throughout the night or future dressy events.

Any advice for keeping your head in the game when you hate your job and are actively looking for a new one? I’m having the worst time staying focused at work and I feel like my performance is slipping. Intellectually I know that I have to keep up the good work until I find something new, but in practice I’m really struggling.

I’m in the boat with you. I try to think about how I’d like to look back on this job. If that makes sense. So when the joyous day comes that I have a new job where I’m happy I want to be able to look back on this one and think that I handled it well – I worked hard and dealt with all the garbage with grace. It doesn’t always happen but it motivates me.

I’m going to a state prison this week to visit a client (I’m a lawyer). This is my first trip to a prison. This may be a silly question, but does it matter what I wear? Skirt suit? Pants suit? Anything I should know/be prepared for?

It absolutely matters. Pants, don’t show much skin, minimal or no jewelry, and wear a sports bra! Or at the very least a wireless bra. I can’t stress enough that if there ever was a time to not look sexy or cute or whatever, this is it. Obviously still look professional though.

Great question! Do not wear an underwire bra! Wear a sportsbra (no metal) if at all possible. I had an incredibly humiliating experience with almost not being able to get into a prison to conduct a deposition because my bra kept setting off the metal detector. I was wearing the most generic bra imaginable, no weird fasteners or extra heavy duty underwire. Just a plain everyday bra. They’re set much, much higher than airport or even federal building metal detectors. Also, I’ve never been to state prison but in federal prisons, you’re not allowed to bring in really anything at all. I was allowed a pencil and a piece of notebook paper (not a pen, and not a notepad — just one sheet). Nothing else. No phone, no purse, nothing. Just be prepared in case you have to leave everything in your car.

What the others have said about attire, especially the part about leaving most things, including cell phone and purse in your car. DO take your ID and Bar card and possibly driver’s license, as at least one of those will be required to allow you to visit your client.

Also, FWIW, I’d find out in advance if there are any times when attorney visitation is prohibited (e.g., mealtimes, lockdown) and when the facility closes. I have had even local jails require me to schedule an appointment, and at a time which did not interfere with family visitation. In some cases, a fax a day ahead of time is required to confirm your visit.

Thanks very much, all. I’m going with an attorney who does this full-time (I am at a biglaw firm doing pro bono) so he took care of getting permissions/etc. But I didn’t feel comfortable asking him for fashion-related advice.

I’m in the same position as you (biglaw pro bono) and my advice is to just ask the other attorney. At a minimum I would ask the attorney how strict security is. At my client’s prison, the security officers are quite nice to female attorneys and have never gotten on my case about metal buttons or zippers. Other prisons are super strict and you can’t have exposed clavical even. So, yes, just ask because its something that criminal attorneys frequently deal with.

Argh. This is so annoying. I sent over my health forms to my graduate school as part of my entry paperwork, and my doctor marked that I had the chicken pox vaccine (and only one vaccine, when it’s a two series thing) listing the date as the time when, in fact, I actually had chicken pox. The school says I need to get the doctor to fill out a new form or prove I’ve gotten the second vaccine. The doctor won’t fill out a new form without proof that I actually had chicken pox – even though duh, the date the form lists me as having had the vaccine is before the freaking vaccine was available, so clearly, it’s a records mistake – you couldn’t even get the vaccine in ’92 so there’s no way I had one of the shots.

I have no idea how to prove I had chicken pox literally 20 years ago, since we have moved around a lot since then, my records have been transferred to 8 or 9 different hospitals, etc. I’m not even entirely positive I actually saw a doctor when I had the Pox or I just oatmeal bathed it up as treatment. My parents aren’t sure either.

If you had the chicken pox, a blood test will show that. If you had the vaccine, a blood test will show that. Solution here: get a blood test, get the results sent to (possibly a new, competent) doc, and get them sent over to your school. No worries!

Your parents didn’t do the “chicken pox in the bath tub” picture? (ages 8 to 5 ish) I swear we have those for me and my siblings. I think most of my cousins have the same picture. Or is that just a weird family thing?

Haha not as far as I know! I do remember asking if I could take an oatmeal bath every day and my mom saying “It’s only for when you’re sick.” I remember saying for months after “I’m sick today; can I take an oatmeal bath pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase??”

Thanks for the advice on the blood test goldribbons! I will ask if I can do that instead. This is ridiculous that everyone is being so inflexible about what is basically one person writing a date in the wrong spot (under the “vaccine” blank instead of the “date you had the illness” blank). Irritating.

I had this issue with undergrad – my doctor listed the same date for two vaccines that had to have been given spaced apart and they made me get the vaccine again. It didn’t end up being a big deal, I just got another shot and got on with my life. Obviously it would be a big deal if you had a bad reaction or are ideologically opposed to getting extra vaccines for clerical errors.

I’m not a doctor, but the challenge with chicken pox vs varicella vaccine, from what I’ve heard (doctors out there, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) but if you had chicken pox as a child and subsequently receive the vaccine in your 20s-30s, you can get shingles. So I would highly recommend the blood test before signing yourself up for additional vaccinations in this department.

Hey! You can get a titer done, which will show that you have antibodies to varicella, which would show that you have been exposed to it (either by vaccination or by having the disease yourself) and have functional immunity. I did that to “prove” that I had chicken pox as a child when I was in medical school (before I started clinical duties). It’s a simple blood test and will hopefully solve your problem:). It’s also in many ways better because it shows that you have the antibodies (and are immune) when not everyone actually develops immunity from a vaccine.

I am not sure I understand why the doctor was willing to fill out that you had chicken pox initially but filled the form out incorrectly and now is not willing to say the same thing,but with the correct date. Have you tried that approach? If not, it may just be easier to get the second vaccine, assuming they are not contraindicated a second time.

Need advice — anyone here work in a start up? I’m being recruited by one (VC backed) that’s looking to double in size over the next year. I can definitely do the job, but want to make sure I’m asking the right questions around the future of the business, risks, compensation, etc. Any suggestions would be welcome!

How many more funding rounds do they expect to be required? How many have they completed? What are their key milestones and what’s the likelihood they’ll meet them? What about the likelihood of completing additional rounds (if necessary)? How is their funding structured – convertible debt? Preferred shares? What kind of equity compensation will you receive? Are their VCs on a timeline? Do their financiers want out in 7 years? Is it just VCs or do they have other types of financing?

What is their financial situation like, aside from financing? Are they holding a lot of debt? What do they expect the key costs to be in the next few years? What about sales or revenue targets – are they realistic, based on your knowledge of the industry?

How are they planning to manage their significant expected growth? Even with adequate financing, a lot of startups falter when they go from being 5 kids in a garage to an organization of 10, 20 or 50 who aren’t just their old college or grad school buddies. What kind of organizational structure do they have in place?

What are the major roadblocks they expect? Are there any dealbreakers in the next 12-15 months? Ie, is there any thing that could happen like “the FDA doesn’t approve our drug and won’t let us reapply” that will pretty much bring the company to a grinding halt? How likely are they to happen?

I definitely wouldn’t ask all of these at once, but I think those are definitely some things to think about when looking to move to a startup. They may not give you a lot of this information, especially depending on what your level is coming in, but even some of it would help you in making a decision.

Red flags: 1) disorganization — they don’t call when they say they will, they don’t seem to know who is supposed to be interviewing you, they haven’t figured out things like leave policies

2) you’re the first non-family member/college roommate/frat brother to join the company (might be okay, but might cause serious fit issues if you’re the only “outsider”)

3) inability to answer any of Moment’s questions — even if they don’t want to share every bit of financial data with you, the questions shouldn’t fluster them

I’d also suggest that you do some digging on the company’s key players. Do they have good credentials for the type of company they’re starting? Are they well-connected in this space? If the company falters, having well-connected founders could provide you with a good network for looking for your next job.

Also, if you haven’t already, consider how comfortable you are with risk. Most start-ups fail. Do you have the financial cushion to deal with that?

I definitely agree with anon’s red flags. Realistically, if they are VC backed, these are questions they should have had to consider already and they should have a business plan in place which answers them — if they haven’t, that’s concerning. Now they may/may not be comfortable sharing all of it, but none of it should sound like brand new ideas to them.

I’d also say – startups are EXCITING. Even if they fail. The experience is hugely valuable and you often get to do really cool stuff well above your level. Things are changing constantly. They are quick speedboats to navigate, where huge changes to strategy can be made in one meeting. If you’ve mostly worked at big organizations, this can feel awesome (since big orgs are more likely barges). They are nearly never bureaucratic, but that means they sometimes end up falling into pitfalls that bureaucracy would prevent. A lot of them do fail, but some of them end up being Google. It’s exhilarating when you don’t know which you’ll be. IMO, the absolute most important thing, ESPECIALLY in a reasonably early stage startup, is that the mission of the company is something you’re passionate about – because I’ve never heard of a startup where people are just mindlessly putting in their time and doing routine tasks. So if you’re not really enthusiastic about the product, all of the constant running around, do this, do that, what do you mean, our plans are completely different from last month, yeah I know people usually have 20 years of experience before they attempt X, I want you to start doing it today, what are your ideas, let’s try them out, sorry our major presentation to a HNWI came when you were planning on a family vacation, better cancel it, hey we don’t have a finance person, can you put together 5 year financial projections and do our statement, even though you were a history major?, etc – it’s not worth it. If you are — gosh, it so totally is — even if it fails. Maybe even especially when it fails.

Of course, making sure their financials are in order, they can make payroll, they aren’t setting themselves up for failure, etc are important. But really believing in the product/mission – that’s the biggest.

I would also add that if they are courting you with stock options, ask for ISOs, not NSOs, and ask for acceleration (double-trigger). Also try to get your shares without a cliff. The ISO thing is pretty standard for employees, accleration or non-cliff vesting might not be. But protect your equity if they are asking you to take a pay cut in exchange for that glamorous equity.

Also ask how many shares you will have on a fully-diluted basis, based on if you were to exercise your options. I can’t tell you how many times a startup will tell a new hire “We will give you ONE MILLION SHARES!” only to have them find out later that the preferred has tons of preferences/rights over common and that there are about a billion shares outstanding, so their million shares is a drop in a bucket. (OK, that’s an exaggeration, but think about percentages, not numbers of shares, when they woo you and understand how your equity fits into the overall cap structure of the company. Even if you’re just a rank-and-filer, you should know how teensy your portion would be, if you were to exercise.) I have had companies get sold under duress in situations in which the common does not get paid out, and it’s really sad for early employees–they get nothing or next to nothing if the company gets sold at all, but they made life plans based on their vesting and truly felt that their million shares was going to get them somewhere someday. Them’s the breaks in startup land.

Hi friends–I wanted to share my review of Paula’s Choice. I noticed that many commenters did not like the new Skin Balancing SPF lotion, which is what I used in the past (old formula). I ordered and received the Hydralight Shine-Free Daily Mineral Complex SPF 30. I really like it as a substitute for the old Skin Balancing lotion. I used to use Mario Badescu SPF but thought it was oily. Apparently the more SPF is in the lotion, the more greasy it feels. The Hydralight does not feel greasy at all but it more like a creamy texture that absorbed really quickly. Since I want to upgrade from SPF 15 to 30, this was a big bonus to be. Promise I am not affiliated with PC, but I have actually reordered from there which I don’t think I’ve ever done with face wash/lotion/etc before.

Thanks, that is helpful. I’m trying a few other things (Kiehls and Boots No. 7) that were recommended by others yesterday. But will revert back to that PC option if they don’t work. I’m bummed they changed the formula!

I’m 24, and I have no idea where to start with saving for retirement. I’m trying to pay of $80k in student loans, and trying to build an emergency fund, and I know that the sooner you start, the better, but it seems so overwhelming.

I make about $48k/year, after taxes, so I know it’s more than possible to save, and pay off student loans, etc., but I’m just findng it so overwhelming, and scary, especially when I keep reading articles saying “well, even $1 million isn’t enough”.

Do you have a 401(K) plan available at work? Does your employer match your contributions? If so, start out by contributing the amount necessary to get the maximum match. To do otherwise is to leave money on the table, and nobody wants to do that.

If you don’t have that option available, at the very least open a Roth IRA and contribute the maximum amount every year.

You’re super smart to be thinking of this early. Just do it — pay yourself first! The lower disposable income will sting a bit at first, but you will adjust and your future self will be so, so happy you did it!

I just turned 27 yesterday, and was in a similar situation. I think your priority should be the emergency fund while paying the minimum on student loans, and I’d do it directly via direct deposit. Even if this takes you six or eight months, you can still contribute money to this tax year’s retirement through the spring.

Once you have three months emergency money for rent, food, medical, I’d switch about 80% that direct deposit that was going to emergency funds to an online investment account. There are obviously different choices here. When my Roth IRA was tiny, I just invested it myself in two low-risk-ish funds through ingdirect (now capital one 360). I knew I was not going to be doing lots of trading, so paying a small fee (10$?) to buy in seemed like the better choice to me. Now that it’s a bit more substantial, I pay a woman at Edward Jones a commission to invest it. You can also get fee-based advisors who invest for a yearly or quarterly flat fee, rather than a % of your earnings. If you think you’ll only be able to contribute a very small amount this year (maybe less than 2K?) I’d probably just continue directing the money to an online savings account (Ally or capitalone360) and buy a chunk of investments at year’s end, rather than buying investments every time you get a paycheck.

I’d take the other 20% of that direct deposit that was building your emergency fund and throw it at your highest-interest-rate student loan every two weeks or month. Then the next highest one, etc.

This is all assuming you don’t have an inheritance or 401K or government-sponsored plan, and that you’re American, of course.

I’d drop the Roth money into a Vanguard target retirement fund and set up an automatic deposit to max it out every year (it’s super easy to do online and it does the calculations for you). The fees at Vanguard (or Fidelity too I think) are really really low.

I’ve done something similar myself over the past couple of years. I put every extra dollar into building my emergency fund at first. Once I had a few months worth, I opened my Roth and set it to max out every year then split the remaining extra money between my emergency fund and student loans. I think I put something like 75% of the extra to my emergency fund until it reached 6 months worth and then switched to 50/50. My goal is 8 months emergency fund then all extra money will go to my loans.

If you have a 401k that offers a match, definitely fund it up to the match before doing a Roth. Good for you for starting now!

I’m in my late 20s, and I agree with everything Senior Attorney said. Also, I agree with your feeling that this is so overwhelming! I’ve decided to (1) contribute as much as I can to my retirement (whilst repaying my $100k law school debt); and (2) focus on building a career I enjoy so I’m not counting down to retirement!

Concur with all above. One other tip is to raise the amount you put in your retirement every time you get a raise (e.g. 5% to 8% to 10%) — that way you don’t notice as much, and it’s a huge help down the road.

I started saving for retirement when I was 22, and making $27k (BEFORE taxes). It wasn’t much, but it got me into the habit. Tips and tricks: 1. Autopay/auto save. Take everything you want to save out of your paycheck before it hits your bank account. Then adjust your budget accordingly. 2. Auto contribute to your employer’s 401k up to the matching point (if available). 3. Auto contribute to a Roth IRA. Not knowing the rest of your financial situation, my nonprofessional opinion is to stuff as much cash as you can into a Roth before you start making much more! Vanguard is great; I have one in Fidelity even though I’m aware they are killing me on fees..because all my other accounts are there (and stuck there). 4. Loans- auto pay something above the amount they’re billing you. Depends how much you want to dedicate to the “save hard” goal…

This is a weird question – does anyone know of any books/websites that teach you how to speak professionally? Which words/phrases to use etc? Even a good business etiquette book might do. I’m so used to speaking casually, and I see that’s a common complaint with interns. I would be fine if I was just aware of it/knew what to avoid, especially since I’m in a field where even if bosses email casually (lmk, u, ok), we are told not to.

I’m not sure about specific resources, but if there’s anyone in your organization you trust, you might ask for feedback on your speaking and writing styles and ask the the person to point out too-casual words or phrases as you use them. Truthfully, I wonder if you actually do have this problem. Your question’s tone is, to my ears, entirely appropriate to this venue. It’s conversational without being overly casual or youthful sounding. That can be a hard balance to strike since this site is neither a formal workplace setting nor a completely casual email-between-friends. That suggests you have an ear for this already. Even if you speak casually with your friends, it’s very possible you’re still effectively code-switching, which means using different styles of speech in different contexts (e.g., you might still sound like a little girl or teenager when at your parents’ house, then might use a different set of words, grammar, and tone with your friends, and a completely different style at work). If I were you, I would start by seeking feedback from people whom you feel are “professional” and see what they say.

Videotape yourself giving a speech. Seriously, it’s the single most eye-opening thing you can do to improve public speaking and you will notice immediately the things you should/will want to change. The camera on your phone will work though watching yourself on a bigger screen is likely to be more helpful.

Is it really such a terrible idea to buy a 1 BR condo? I feel confident that it’s the right size for me (single, early 30s, major, expensive city), but I would say easily 50% of the people I mention this to weigh in and say that I should buy the biggest place I can afford, I should buy a 2 BR for resale value, etc. The repeated opinions have me starting to question my convictions to keep it small, since I don’t want space I won’t use or space I feel I have to fill up with furniture. I would rather buy a 1 BR in a great location than a 2 BR in an average/less-than-great location, but everyone seems to think I’m crazy. Thoughts?

The resale value point makes zero sense. Aer 2 bedrooms generally considered more valuable than 1 bedrooms? Yes. But then you’re paying for it on the front end. If I were single, I’d much rather have a 1 bedroom than a 2, even if the two places had the same square footage. Why waste money on space you won’t use? Look for the best layout, with the most usuable space (most usable by YOU).

Second on this. Even if you’re optimistic about the real estate market in general you should diversify your investments. That is, if you buy the biggest place you can afford you’re investing a huge part of your net worth into one tiny part of the real estate market (your condo). Better to get a smaller place and put some money into index funds.

I say buy the space you need (and can most likely more easily afford) and worry about resale later. If it’s a) a great location, plus b) great layout with c) great amenities (walkup versus elevator building, doorman, close to transportation, etc.), you’re going to find someone else who’ll want to buy it when you go to sell it.

If you buy a two bedroom and you never use it, you’ll be wondering why you’re paying the carrying costs to heat / cool and upkeep that extra room(s). Plus, you may get unwanted visitors, since you have the space in the city.

And if you’re talking about NY, I don’t think you can go wrong. A studio, to me, would be a dicier choice.

It depends on the city, to be honest. NYC? Absolutely go for the 1 bedroom. Somewhere like Baltimore, MD? No way.

I think the resale value point isn’t necessarily that it’ll be worth less (although it will probably gain less value over time), but that they’re harder to sell in general in some areas. So, you may have a 1 bedroom that takes 10 months to sell in one city vs 1 month in another because nobody wants a 1 bedroom. But if there’s a strong market for 1 bedrooms in your area, that argument doesn’t hold up.

The other reason why people may be advocating for the two bedroom is that you have to remember real estate commission and moving costs when you sell. The cost to move from one place to another can be high, so that is why some people recommend buying a place that will suit you for the next 5-10 years rather than just a place that will be good for 1-5 years. Of course, a lot can happen either way. You could take another job and move out of your city, you could get married and move to hubby’s apartment etc. But you should consider that a 6% real estate commission on a $300,000 place is $18,000 when you sell, plus moving expenses, plus mortgage taxes etc. etc. As others have said, depending on the location and the price differential between 1-2 bedrooms, it can make sense to buy for the future.

I highly recommend opting for a 2 br. I bought a 1 br and really regretted it, especially for times when my friends and family came into town, and I had no place to put them. I also met my now husband right after buying it which didn’t help either (typical). Depending on your future plans, 2 br can get you through adding a significant other and a kid, if you’re into that sort of thing and want to stay in the place long-term. If you have no plans in that direction and a 1 br gets you a fabulous spot in an area you couldn’t afford otherwise or you’d prefer to save your money, go for it. 1 br places will always have a market in metropolitan areas.

Your broker should be able to give you rise in value information for the last few years for 1 and 2 bedrooms. In my area 1 bedroosm went up more. BUT you have huge upfront expenses, and the ability to have a roommate (in my TINY second bedroom) ultimately pushed me to wait for a 2 BR.

Thoughts on necklines that are most flattering? I have a bigger than average bust, but am otherwise slim. I’m also short. I tend to be drawn to clothing that has higher necklines on most clothes, but I’m staring to realize that I may look better in low scoop necks and v-necks. Am I doing myself a disservice by covering up too much? What necklines do you gravitate towards? Wear most often?

I also have a large bust, and I definitely find V-necks to be most flattering, though it’s a balancing act, because I also don’t want too much cleavage. Boatnecks and cowlnecks always look terrible, though I love them :(

I generally want to show no cleavage, so I’m always looking for that elusive top that shows enough of my chest but none of my cleavage. Its tough. I’m not drawn to cowlnecks, but I love scarves, so its basically the same thing. I’m adding more fabric to an area where there should be none!

Try the JudyP tops … great wash and wear, lay flat over larger chests and tons of colors. Scoop necks, v necks, boatnecks … I did size up so no stretchin over the middle (ahem) and that required that the items be taken up at the shoulders, but it was an easy, inexpensive job to do that.

I find scoopnecks the most flattering on me, I find a lot of v-necks seem to make the cleavage look like even more than it is. I agree it is hard to find the right mix as a true crew neck looks awful. I also throw on a lot of scarves if I’m unsure.

I’m 5’2″, size 4P/2 “regular,” and a 32DD/30DDD – so I feel you! I prefer scoop necks that are low enough to show a fair amount of chest but high enough not to show any soft tissue. V necks are almost always too low – and if they aren’t, they’re too high. I can’t seem to find a happy medium. Crew necks make me look like my top is trying to strangle me, as do most (but not all) boatnecks.

I’m not all that slim these days, but also large on top and agree that a higher neck just seems to make a large bust look like a vast expanse. And turtlenecks? Forget about it. I buy almost nothing that is not a V-neck (or a button down that is open at the top for the same effect). It is hard to find a just-right-not-too-low neckline. I’m recently wearing the cotton modal tees from Lands End (petite sizes) and they’re just barely high enough, at least for me. With wrap dresses and sweaters (things heavier than t-shirts that are very opaque) I sometimes wear a boob-tube type top instead of a cami to make a neckline wearable. They’re available in about 40 colors on amazon.