Ice-T Details ‘Jungle Sex’ With Coco

Coco Austin met Ice-T while he was filming on set and she was recommended to him as a girl he might like. Color that intro any way you like. It’s how relationships were formed throughout history before women were allowed to own property. The unlikely pair have been together ever since so it can’t simply be that slapping that enormous fake ass. Though that has to play a role.

In a Q magazine article, the almost sixty year old Ice-T opens up on his off-kilter sex life with Coco. The stories were mildly intriguing fifteen years ago when they first met. Postpartum and AARP qualifying, it’s a bit like your great uncle repeatedly nudging you to ask him about the hooker he had to his room at the Luxor last Flag Day.

Ice-T explains that he gets into ‘jungle sex’ with his wife. There’s a clear double standard in the use of that term by race and you ought accept it and move on. Ice-T explains it’s not about crawling on your wife and getting off, it’s about playing into her serious kinks:

‘You’re taking foreplay a step further. Your girl might want you to put on some motherfucking oil and figure skates for her. What the fuck? Just put it on and I will fuck the shit out of you.”

That can’t possibly be your best example. The trouble with describing yourself as kinky is the inevitably let down when you have to explain what you mean and it’s shit like above. Or it truly is out there and unsharable. There’s no middle ground in kinky. Not when you’re an old rapper and your wife has a fat injected ass and wears matching g-strings with your toddler she named after her purse.

If Trump does anything in his Presidency, it needs to be that people over a certain age are not allowed to publicly discuss their sexuality. Maybe they can have thick non-fiction titles in the very back of the ten remaining bookstores in this nation. But nothing to be uttered aloud in the town square. Ageism gets a bad rap. Do not tell us where the motherfucking oil goes.