Happy Loyalty Day. Here’s my goddamn flag.

In honor of today being declared by our President to be Loyalty Day (please please please go read this bullshit), I just mailed the following:

From the Desk of Laszlo Xalieri

May 1, 2007

Dear Hon. Mr. President,

In light of this administration having the worst record ever concerning violations of the freedoms upon which our nation is founded,

In light of this administration having the worst record ever concerning violations of the public trust by dealing in massive untruths that have cost thousands of lives, many billions of dollars, and irreplaceable credibility domestically and internationally,

In light of this administration having the worst record ever concerning corruption and cronyism,

In light of this administration having the worst record ever concerning flagrant disregard for the Constitutionally guaranteed right to a fair and speedy trial, the Constitutionally guaranteed right to know upon what charges one is being imprisoned, the Constitutionally guaranteed right to materials and capacity to defend oneself against accusations and criminal charges, the Constitutionally guaranteed right to protection against unfair search and seizure, the Constitutionally guaranteed right to free speech and the Constitutionally guaranteed right to demand redress for wrongs from one’s government,

In light of this administration having the worst record ever concerning dishonoring international treaties that according our Constitution are to be inviolable law of the land,

In light of this administration having the worst record ever for the mistreatment of our soldiers and veterans, especially with respect to fair compensation, guaranteed medical care, and deserved acknowledgment of their duty and service,

In light of this administration having, as detailed above, the worst record ever for having shown its own disloyalty to this nation, the Constitution, the soldiers of the Armed Services, and, certainly not least of all, to the citizenry and the freedoms we all hold dear,

I declare the declaration of any kind of Loyalty Day by _this_ administration to be ironic in the extreme, disrespectful in the extreme to any citizen or lawful resident who has shown _true_ loyalty, and in extremely poor taste, as it recommends that the citizenry of this nation show qualities of which our government and its administrators have demonstrated themselves to be fundamentally incapable.

This one time I was sitting at my desk waiting for the phone to ring. More accurately, I was waiting for Murphy to make the phone ring — Murphy being the evil machine in the basement with the phone numbers in it of all the people we’re paid ten bucks an hour to annoy. Here’s […]