They are often not confident people themselves, which is why they pick on others. They often are unhappy people and have more problems than the people they pick on!

They feel better about themselves if they can make others feel worse.

Many experts believe that bullies have learned to bully because they have been bullied themselves in the past, maybe in their homes, outside or at school. But even if you are bullied, you have a choice what to do - you don't have to turn into a bully.

Some people join in or go along with the bullying of others to save themselves from being bullied.

Bullies often work in groups, because it is easy for them to make excuses when they are caught eg. "I didn't start it..." "I was just there..." "He (the victim) started it and I was just helping my friend". There is more about this in the topic Are you a bystander to bulling.

If you get into trouble for bullying and you want to have friends, ask an adult you trust to help you. You will need to get some help tolearn to manage your feelings in ways that don't hurt other people. There are always other things you can do when you are angry or stressed or frustrated, but you may need help to work out what they could be for you.

You will also have to help other people 'unlearn' about you. You will have to help them learn about the good things you can do. It will be very hard and it might take a long time but it will be worth it in the end - then you will have made real friends, and earned the real respect of people, rather than have them fear you.

Bullying

Can you imagine how awful it feelsTo wake up afraid every day?Can you imagine how lonely it feelsTo feel too sad to play?Can you imagine how you might feelIf this should happen to you?What if others were standing byWhile someone was bullying you?Maybe it's time for us all to sayBullying people is not okay.

People who have studied these things tell us that 1 out of 6 young people are harassed or bullied at least once a week in South Australian schools. So if you are being bullied, you are not the only one - and most of all - it is NOT your fault.

All schools have policies about dealing with bullying and teachers want to help kids who are being bullied, and also the kids who are bullies. It is important to talk to your teacher. This can take a lot of courage - but it is important. Maybe you could ask a friend to be with you when you talk to your teacher - or if you are feeling very lonely it is important to talk with one of your trusted adults and ask for their help. Teachers now know a lot about how to support kids.

Sometimes it's hard to work out why bullies pick on some people but one thing is for sure, it's not the fault of the person who is being picked on (although there are sometimes things that can be learned to help avoid being bullied).

Bullies generally go for:

Anyone who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

People who are different in any way.

Anyone who seems like an easy target (easy to scare).

People who are smaller or younger than the bully.

People who are sensitive, who may cry or get upset .

If you think you might be one of these people, remember that we are all different and that is why it is an interesting world. Being different doesn't make it okay to be picked on.

B is for bashing, weaker people.U is for unfair, to all pick on one.L is for lying, to get out of troubleL is for lout, don't you act like one.Y is for yuck, that's how they make people feel.I is for illegal, everyone has rights.N is for naughty, to upset someone.G is for gangs who go looking for fights.

Tahlia said

Why be a bully?Bullies hurt people.Bullies are mean.Don’t be a bully.Don’t gang up with bullies.No one likes bullies.Be nice and others will be nice to you.

We've provided this information to help you to understand important things about staying healthy and happy. However, if you feel sick or unhappy, it is important to tell your mum or dad, a teacher or another grown-up.