ANAHEIM >> Thanks to Tommy John, anyone who follows baseball knows about the ulnar collateral ligament in the elbow.

But, to be honest, before the Angels’ latest injury, I didn’t remember that there’s also a UCL in the thumb.

So, when the news about shortstop Andrelton Simmons broke Monday, I actually thought this team is so committed to having miserable luck that the Angels were now inventing body parts to rupture.

At first, a torn ulnar collateral ligament in the thumb sounded a little like a hairline fracture of the fanny joint, and, at this point, you almost have to laugh at the Angels’ absurd misfortune because crying won’t do any good.

Being a professional journalist dedicated to you, the loyal reader, I decided Tuesday to dig deeper into the injury, which is another way of saying I Googled it.

On Wikipedia, I discovered the following description, every word of which, I absolutely swear, is legitimate: “This condition is commonly observed among gamekeepers and Scottish fowl hunters…”

I also was reminded that, back when I covered the Angels full­-time, Gary DiSarcina famously suffered a similar injury during the 1995 season. I have no recollection, however, of asking DiSarcina if he ever hunted Scottish fowl.

Anyway, to update the current state of the Angels’ health, they – in no particular order – have disabling injuries to a left forearm, a right elbow, a left shoulder, a right lumbar, a left oblique and a left thumb.

There’s also a left biceps, although Tyler Skaggs is typically just described as still working his way back from surgery to his elbow.

The Angels are still paying Hamilton, you know, and will be through the end of next season, the team owing him close to $50 million.

Hamilton, at least, is doing his part to fit in with the Angels, even as he remains property of the Texas Rangers. He’s on the disabled list.

For his part, Scioscia remains relentlessly optimistic, the alternative being to keep things real. And real for the Angels meant a 13-­18 record entering the start of a three­-game series against St. Louis.

“We’re really confident in the group that we have,” Scioscia explained Tuesday afternoon, “that we can find a way to get games on our terms and hold leads. And that’s what we’re going to do.”

Then the Angels went out and took on the Cardinals with a starting lineup featuring four players who had home run totals for the season equal to or below that of Bartolo Colon.

On the plus side, they were starting Hector Santiago, who, at this moment, sits atop their duct-taped rotation.

Santiago’s fifth pitch of the game ended up screaming into the right­-field seats, just inside the foul pole, for a Matt Carpenter solo homer.

The ball landed in a spot normally occupied by fans but, since people understand the reality of 13­-18, Angel Stadium was only lightly populated Tuesday.

But that’s the Angels, a franchise always committed to community service, again looking out for fan safety.

I certainly don’t blame the paying folks for choosing to spend their nights and their money elsewhere. This is a market built on popular attractions, and the Angels aren’t really much to look at these days.

And I will say this: Even if the Angels manage to sell three million tickets again this season, at this rate they won’t actually attract three million fans, that gap in in-­game revenue something that might interest Moreno.

The Angels entered this opener having lost seven of their previous nine and with an offense barely averaging three runs per game at home.

In the absence of Simmons, Cliff Pennington started at short, the Angels replacing a guy batting .219 with a guy batting .175.

Also Tuesday, they traded for veteran infielder Brendan Ryan, a career .234 hitter who has been dealt four times since December of 2010.

The limping, listing Angels suddenly have the appearance of a team on a definite path to nowhere.

Long­shots to challenge this season when healthy, they today resemble no-­shots who can’t even make it through an off day without suffering a loss.

Like Garrett Richards and Andrew Heaney before him, Simmons was determined to be a long­-term injury victim on a day when the Angels didn’t play, an odd development Scioscia called nothing more than a coincidence.

“I don’t think it’s a case where we’re going to be gun shy with off days,” he said, the Angels, perhaps mercifully, not scheduled to be idle again until May 26.

In the span of four days, this team was diagnosed with a pair of UCL tears, one in Richards’ elbow and one in Simmons’ thumb.

So, how could things get any worse? Well, remember that digging I did? Google says there’s a ulnar collateral ligament in the wrist, too, and the Angels have 50 of those now in peril every game.

Jeff Miller has been a sports columnist since 1998, having previously written for the Palm Beach Post, South Florida Sun-Sentinel and Miami Herald. He began at the Register in 1995 as beat writer for the Angels.