Connecting to server...You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!You: I desire stew. Will you bring me stew? But make it hot this time, not coldStranger: brb, soupYour conversational partner has disconnected.

They ate soup. And yet I desired stew. What kind of travesty is this! D:<

"Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn'twork? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magicallyfix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we allknow how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boardsor FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft."

[...] There was a sound of impact, a raspy, dry scream, and the vampire went down hard.

It lay on the ground like a butterfly pinned to a card, arms and legs thrashing uselessly. Its chest and collarbone had been crushed.

By an entire frozen turkey. A twenty-pounder.

The plucked bird must have fallen from an airplane overhead, doubtlessly manipulated by the curse. By the time it got to the ground, the turkey had already reached its terminal velocity, and was still hard as a brick. The drumsticks poked up above the vampire's crushed chest, their ends wrapped in red tinfoil.

The vampire gasped and writhed a little more.

The timer popped out of the turkey.

Everyone stopped to blink at that for a second. I mean, come on. Impaled by a guided frozen turkey missile. Even by the standards of the quasi-immortal creatures of the night, that ain't something you see twice.

“For my next trick,” I panted into the startled silence, “anvils.”

And then the fight was on again.

-- Harry Dresden, Blood Rites.

Quote

Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.

-- Harry Dresden, Storm Front.

Quote

“Screw up my life?” He stared a me for a second and then said, deadpan, “I’m a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow.” He pushed up his glasses with his forefinger, folded his arms, and said, “Do your worst.”

-- Waldo Butters, Dead Beat.

Quote

The next time you interfere with me, more than smoke will interfere with you.

-- "Darth Wannabe", Day Off.

Logged

"You’re in America now. Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you’d prefer." - Harry Dresden, Turn Coat

From My Life is Average:"Today, a kid in my chemistry class cut out the Batman emblem from a piece of paper and put it on my extremely strict teacher's projector. When our teacher turned it on to write notes it showed up like the Batman help signal. My teacher quickly said "Gotham city needs me!" and ran out of the classroom. MLIA"