2.11.07

Dog said the N word. It makes me sad. I like the show, I like the way he interacts w/ family & friends & fugitives. I have enjoyed it (privately away from everyone) on in the background. It makes me happy to watch - & it is a taste of Hawaii usually that makes me think of Laurie and how much I miss her, but it is nice to see the sun shine where it shines on her.

he said a word. His son taped a phone conversation knowing his father & knowing damned well it would be said and sold it too the National Enquirer. Fuck that. fuck that in the eye. You don't turn on your own father. Maybe I'm pissed cause the pastoral side of Dog's talks w/ fugitives as he tries to help turn their lives around reminds me of my dad. The way he interacts w/ his children and smiles a lot even though things aren't ok, all remind me of my dad. He just doesn't randomly break into song (Yellow Submarine) the way my dad did. & in case u r new: my father passed away a few years ago. So I am a lil misty eyed when it comes to things that remind me of him.

I'm not saying using the N word is a good or acceptable thing. Right now in the world it isn't if you have not black skin. I understand that, the history of the word, the world of things that have happened. I don't like that a word, any word could be used to hurt people and could be such a symbol of hatred that it cannot be used for the sheer force that it carries with it. I wish that Love had the opposite effect. I wish that by saying the word it brought peace and hope instead of using a word which carries pain and anger.

I hope things work out & the show resumes production & we get to keep watching. I'm just sayin... I like my guilty pleasures & want to keep them.