How can I approach the subject of having children?

Start by acknowledging that when you first got together you did not want children, after all you were only 22.

Then explain why your feelings have changed and that you would like to discuss this with him. Say that you are aware that he has said he doesn't want them and ask him what his reasons are for this decision.

Perhaps for example he was pushed out when a new sibling arrived and he fears that happening again. Maybe he is worried about a change in lifestyle and freedom, or shortage of money if you're not working.

There may be ways around these fears. If not talk about what it would mean for the relationship if you gave up the chance of having children for him. Because the reality is that if he is absolutely adamant you will have to decide which is more important to you: the marriage or having children.

If you settled for the marriage could you be sure that eventually resentment and unfulfilled longings would not destroy it anyway? Your sex life could be in the doldrums because lovemaking is not leading to having children for example.

He might change his mind if he saw how important it is to you. But if he is resolute and you know that you really want children then it would probably be better to end the marriage than settle for a relationship that would become increasingly difficult.