Help me out here, please

I met a very attractive sales person in a car shop yesterday. She was very helpful and communicative and insisted to explain everything about the cars, even things I didn't ask about. She gave me some brochures and pricelists, explained paying options and what not and we even had a small off-topic chitchat. At the end I just thanked her very politely and exited the shop after saying goodbye (twice, lol). She didn't give me a personal business card or anything like that (probably forgot ) but she did seem to show some off-business interest and considering the fact that she was very pretty and good looking, I certainly wouldn't mind getting to know her better.

Now what I need from you is IDEAS! Ideas on how to approach and try to get in touch. Relationships are really not my strong side and I really need some assistance here. HELP?

“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

Originally Posted by Gilly

You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

We males are inclined to think that when a woman is nice to use, she probably also wants to make love. Like the others said, she probably used some Fe magic on you for sales purposes or was just being nice with no hidden agenda whatsoever.

That being said, you can't know for sure, so I would just give her a call. Don't make to much fuss about it, be authentic and yourself (I know, easier said than done), say something to the effect you enjoyed talking to her and ask her if she's interested to have a drink with you. The worst thing that can happen, is that she says "no". It is not likely that she will do that in a harsh way. And if she does, just accept that and look at it as a new experience.

You say that relationships are not your string side. Well, maybe you shouldn't worry too much about that and let her take care of that aspect. If what you say is true, don't be afraid to show that (but not talk about it too much though). Many women love guys who are not afraid to show their vulnerabilities!

P.S. I WOULDN'T ask her if she has a boyfriend: it's too obvious and the answer could be embarrassing to both of you. Just boldly ask her, this will leave her space to be creative herself and come up with an elegant 'no' in case she doesn't want to have a drink. However, in that case, also be prepared for the possibility that she will accept the invitation, even though she has a boy friend.

I have to be cynical and suggest that she may well have just been acting as a saleswoman who knows she's pretty.

I know. I am completely aware that this is possible and may well be all there is. But the possibility that there is a mutual (or even one-sided) attraction, unsettles me and makes me want to investigate the potential for a relationship.

“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

Originally Posted by Gilly

You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

I'd say she was probably just doing her job, and seemingly doing it quite well. But, in the case that she would be interested in you, your best bet is to just call up there, ask for (insert chick's name here), and then tell her she was very helpful to you and that you'd like to buy her a cup of coffee or dinner to show your appreciation.
While I'd normally say to go there yourself and ask her out in person, this can easily be a situation where she was just doing her job and you may not want to put either of you in the awkward situation that could come up if you went there instead of calling. At least on the phone she'll be able to just say no and that she is with someone or just not interested without worrying about hurting your feelings. It's a lot easier to say "not interested" when you don't have to look the person in the eye.

Then again, think positively and maybe she'll say she'd really like that and give you her number. Which will leave you and her both all day.

I'd say she was probably just doing her job, and seemingly doing it quite well. But, in the case that she would be interested in you, your best bet is to just call up there, ask for (insert chick's name here), and then tell her she was very helpful to you and that you'd like to buy her a cup of coffee or dinner to show your appreciation.
While I'd normally say to go there yourself and ask her out in person, this can easily be a situation where she was just doing her job and you may not want to put either of you in the awkward situation that could come up if you went there instead of calling. At least on the phone she'll be able to just say no and that she is with someone or just not interested without worrying about hurting your feelings. It's a lot easier to say "not interested" when you don't have to look the person in the eye.

Then again, think positively and maybe she'll say she'd really like that and give you her number. Which will leave you and her both all day.

That being said, you can't know for sure, so I would just give her a call. Don't make to much fuss about it, be authentic and yourself (I know, easier said than done), say something to the effect you enjoyed talking to her and ask her if she's interested to have a drink with you. The worst thing that can happen, is that she says "no". It is not likely that she will do that in a harsh way. And if she does, just accept that and look at it as a new experience.

Well, thank you. I think I should try something along those lines.

Originally Posted by consentingadult

P.S. I WOULDN'T ask her if she has a boyfriend: it's too obvious and the answer could be embarrassing to both of you.

Yeah, I wouldn't do that. I couldn't, even if I wanted to anyway.

“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

Originally Posted by Gilly

You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

I guess I 'm left with having to go there, hah? In that case, how do I approach her? If a keep doing car-talk it would be unfair and pointless, wouldn't it? I could go ahead and ask her out or something, but I don't think I have the guts and I 'd feel to embarrassed.

“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

Originally Posted by Gilly

You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

Thanks, it's only the greatest character alive. The thnikkaman. What other character's catchphrase is "Yeah...shut up kid!"

Ugh..It's been my old mans catchphrase for years. Your a lot more colourful tho. Makes me think about those multi layered fruit ice lollies. You could always ask if there's any hot chicks around who would like a suck..

First time I read your reply (incorrectly) I thought you were implying she was intentionally ignoring me, lol. But I see what you mean. (You can elaborate, though)

She was probably so impressed with you as well, that she completely forgot to remind you to ask for her at your next visit. I think you have provided ample evidence of that: she explained stuff about the car beyond what you've been asking, to satisfy you creative Te, I think. This suggest she probably is ENFp

oh gawd these situtions have happened to all of us. Those sales people can be so damn charming and you just cant seperate them doing their job and liking you. Happens to me with See's. They get me every time.

Anyway trust you're instincts and give it a go. The perfect advice has already been given i think.

ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

oh gawd these situtions have happened to all of us. Those sales people can be so damn charming and you just cant seperate them doing their job and liking you. Happens to me with See's. They get me every time.

Anyway trust you're instincts and give it a go. The perfect advice has already been given i think.

There's always the option to go up there and tell her you're actually thinking about buying whatever it was that she was showing you before. Then remind her that she helped you out the other day (She'll should remember... but you're saying this to not come off as "too" into her already, in a sense, you want her to wonder if you like her a bit, not know for sure already) and you say you want to make sure she gets the commission if you decide to buy something... then ask for a business card. If by this time, you're feelin up to it... just ask her out. Of course, if she accepts... Then you two will be free to start making babies in no time.

There's always the option to go up there and tell her you're actually thinking about buying whatever it was that she was showing you before.

Yeah this would be the best way but would require confidence and skill. If i tried that my balls would suck up into myself. What would happen would be she would be busy and some dude would offer to help. If she did come i would proablly be all creepy like and odd.

@winterpark - Perhaps Jess thought u were a girly because of your rose avatar? I never made that connection though i thought u were a guy. Every rose has its thorns

ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

She explained stuff about the car beyond what you've been asking, to satisfy you creative Te, I think. This suggest she probably is ENFp

The way she spoke was indeed satisfactory to my Te even though it was only learned stuff for the job. It makes me laugh when I think how she sat onto the driver's seat to demonstrate the various adjustments which can be applied to it. At one time she slipped it backwards unintentionally and only for a second there she was in a weird sexy position, lol...

Anyhow, suggesting ENFp doesn't sound very serious at this moment. But perhaps it shouldn't. Oh well...

Last edited by Park; 02-08-2008 at 01:53 AM.

“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

Originally Posted by Gilly

You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

That's pretty much how I imagine myself doing it. I 'll get all red and wet. I 'll be happy if my pants stay dry, lol.

Nah dont sweat it man. Perhaps she will be the one whos wet . ISTp's are actually a lot less emotional than i am so tend to do this better i think.

Crackas the pro, ESFj's are good at this, but this is how i would ask someone out. No more and no less

"Hey do you want to get a drink/beer/coffee/sometime?"
"Hey do you want to go out sometime?"
"Hey do you want to see a movie sometime?" - whatever

The more casual it is the better. Girls are pros at the rest she will take it from there. Shes either gonna say yes i would like that, the you get her number, smile and leave or she will use one of her fallbacks like "im in a relationship, seeing someone, not ready to date at the moment".

ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin