October 18, 2015

So Quick To Zero

This week, I can honestly say I only did 2 verifiable miles on my feet. 1 mile walking. 1 mile running (and confirming that the toe injury was legit).

2 miles for a week. Seriously. When my average over the last 10 years has been 20+.

I did fit in and push myself through several other interval workouts with a focus on core and upper body like I haven't since I was a proper athlete on a team with competitions to compete in. It's been ages since the push-yourself-with arms & chest and back and core focus happened like it did this week. Probably more than a decade. So that was a positive.

And I've got at least another week of this to come.

While I'm surprised or even shocked at how quickly it can change, my life is more than happy to fill the time that used to be taken by hours running (or even walking). Work expands. Washing machines die. Laundry still has to be done. Emotional demands to my family and friends and E expand. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS.

Life, it turns out, will take up all of the open spaces in your life.

Today, the second weekend day in a row where I had a minimal todo list and otherwise spent the day physically relaxing, reading, studying foreign languages, and not demanding anything of my body, I couldn't help but feel decadent. I couldn't help but wonder if I may never go back to the other side. Perhaps I'll just dedicate myself to reading and thinking and working and feeling.

A little voice in my head kept pointing out that there's truly no need to schedule and struggle through physically demanding things just because...

Except. of course, that's crazy pants talk. I know I need physical engagement to stay sane. There's a reason why in the face of this silly toe, I've pushed myself more on interval training and fasting (aka "other physical planes") than ever before in the last 10 years.

I know I am one who likes some cadre imposed discipline, even if I am actually the leader of the cadre.

So, keep me in your thoughts while I try to find some balance while doing myself some semblance of good as the hole in my toe heals.