Kickstarter Raises Millions For Those Stricken With Horrible Ideas

Kickstarter recently celebrated its 100 millionth dollar raised for those stricken with horrible ideas, after a company called ButtYums had their line of flavored butt plugs fully backed.

Yancey Strickler, CEO of Kickstarter, sees his company as a charity of sorts. “Life is tough for uncreative people with horrible ideas. They don’t have the talent or vision to make their own dreams come true so, we created this website to give them a new, less embarrassing way to ask their parents for money,” Strickler explained.

“Just last week, some rich kid got his line of miniature tools for rodents — Hamster Hammers — funded because his parents wanted to keep him busy. It’s nice to know you’re making a difference in the lives of stupid, entitled people.”

Other terrible Kickstarter ideas include “Punch Beginner,” which essentially appears to be a horribly named rip off of Kickstarter itself, and the White Washed Theater Company, which is seeking $900,000 to “help combat reverse racism in the theater community.” Their goal is to perform historically significant black plays with all white casts. Their first planned productions is based on Ntozake Shange’s classic for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enuf. The WWT’s version is entitled For White Girls that Have Considered Suicide When Starbucks Runs Out of Soy Milk.