Posted
by
samzenpuson Thursday July 16, 2009 @10:39AM
from the real-reason-Palin-resigned dept.

Z80xxc! writes "The Anchorage Daily News reports that a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, 'gooey,' probably organic material is floating past communities on Alaska's North Slope. The US Coast Guard sent pollution experts to investigate, who determined that it was not an oil spill or other type of pollution, but were unable to determine what it is. A sample is currently being analyzed by experts in Anchorage, while the blob is following the current northwards."

Well, the foolishness of quitting a hit show early on with people whispering in your ear how awesome you are, followed by a permatanked career, most definitely was a well-established physical entity by that time. Just ask Suzanne Somers, Farrah Fawcett, or McClean Stevenson.

I took this job on a crab boat, I was on there for like 2 months, there wasn't any internet, I forgot to pack any Playboys, I finally found an old SI Swimsuit issue in the galley....I didn't know there would much!

"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.

Al-Gore warned you all that global warming would awaken man-bear-smogmonster, and now his dire warning has come to pass! Take shelter people of Earth, only Godzilla can save us now (assuming the Japanese don't kill the giant lizard who always saves them, God(zilla) knows why the hell they always try to kill the lizard who always saves their ass.)

assuming the Japanese don't kill the giant lizard who always saves them, God(zilla) knows why the hell they always try to kill the lizard who always saves their ass.

Cus every time he wakes up and there's no three-headed monster from outer space or whatnot to fight, he throws a tiff and destroys Tokyo. And most of the time when there is a monster to fight he ends up destroying Tokyo anyway.

He's essentially a giant, radioactive and even more antisocial Demolition Man. Can you blame the Japanese for not want

So you see there is a big, slimy thing floating in the water and you don't like it.. What do you do?

a, Take probes, issue some press reports and analyse it while letting in float around.b, No nothing, let someone else deal with it.c, Clean up the god damn ugly slime before it starts to eat Alaska, and analyse it later.d, Make a documentary on how the big unidentified slimy thing ate Alaska and make profit with it.

Let's see. RingTFA says "A mysterious glob of unknown material up to 12 miles long has appeared off Alaska's northern coast." Later, "spotted a long strand of the stuff and followed it for about 15 miles, shooting video from the air." Slashdot headline says "a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, "gooey", probably organic material"

The article stated it was "up to 12 miles long" and that a team "followed it [by helicopter] for about 15 miles." Granted, the average digestee probably does not care if the blob devouring him is 12 or 15 miles long.

Short story/short film in Stephen King's Creepshow 2. These campers swim out to a fixed raft in the middle of a lake and some goop, not unlike the goop in the article, follows them. One person touches it, and it leeches up her arm and pulls her in. This sort of continues for the next 10 minutes or so until there hero and heroine make out. It's Stephen King so it doesn't end well.

Around 10-15 years ago, the same thing happened off the Icelandic Westfjords, which is the north-west part of Iceland. At first, it was believed to be a spill of the waste matter from fish oil production, but then scientists determined it was caused by a mass death of some species of plankton, which are really small, almost microscopic crustaceans or similar. This particular species was quite oily and died off en masse because of increased sea temperatures or some such.As I said, I can't remember any useful details, but that's more or less what happened back then, sometime near the end of last century off the coast of North-West Iceland.

You know the conservative attention whore is going to try to capitalize on this somehow,... like trying to connect this blob with the second coming of Christ, or the rapture, or something? Or, she'll go for the Ghostbusters explanation, saying that the blob contains all the evil left wing energy from California that's been seeping into the Ocean over the past 50 years from all the liberals and fags. She'll then hire the FagBusters from Kansas, led by Rev. Fred Phelps, arm them with unlicensed nuclear accele

I question democracy as a suitable way to form a government if she does that and yet STILL gets votes. Because then it's obvious that stupid people must not take part in important decisions, like, say, forming a government.

Palin would never say anything like that. No conservative in their right minds would believe that the liberal energy from the West Coast would coalesce into anything smaller than a blob the size of the Pacific Ocean.

She'll then hire the FagBusters from Kansas, led by Rev. Fred Phelps, arm them with unlicensed nuclear accelerators, to come up with a solution.

I'm not sure what you're getting at. If the solution works, then it validates her argument. And as far as I'm concerned unlicensed nuclear accelerators are the solution to *everything*, simply by virtue of their coolness.

you'll find them at your walmart, brushing both sides of the aisles as they ride on the battery powered vehicles intended for "disabled" people. we call them old honky tubbalard bitches heres here in Chicago.