In the aftermath of the Connecticut shooting it seems like everybody is asking the same question. ” How do we stop these mass shootings? ” The truth is that we will never be able to stop them completely. Evil has been with us always. Evil will be with us always. We can however in my humble opinion curtail them severely. That solution is simple , so simple that The Higher Minds can’t conceive of it. Contrary to what those Higher Minds tell us the solution is not to disarm our law-abiding citizenry in the face of this onslaught of evil. The solution is simply to ” take out the trash “. My proposals in that regard are listed below.

1. ” If You Do The Crime You Do The Time ”

I propose that we eliminate all plea deals for violent crimes except those that are within the parameters of the given crime. For instance if the crime committed calls for a sentence of 7 – 10 years than no plea deal shall be for a sentence of less than 7 years. No more immunity , no more supervised parole, no more reduced sentences for cooperation. You do the 7 years period!!.In short no more leniency. I further propose that the ” Diminished Capacity ” legal defense no longer be accepted as a valid defense by the legal system. If you are stupid enough to get high on drugs and murder somebody you should not be allowed to say that you committed the act because you were high on drugs and not in your right mind at the time. It’s time that these sorts of felons face adult sentences for adult crimes even if they behaved as stupid teenagers.

2. ” Equal Before The Law “

If Congress strips Americans of their Constitutionally protected right to bear arms then it should be for all Americans without exception. I will expect that no Congressperson will be allowed to have a weapon. I will also expect that all government buildings will no longer be protected by gun bearing troops or police just like the average American’s schools , places of business , social gathering spots and homes. I will expect that the President will no longer have Secret Service protection. In short I will expect all of our leaders at every level and branch of government to be rendered as defenseless as the average everyday American John Q . Public. I would also expect this new policy to extend into all areas of life. For example if John Q. Public’s all over America are forced into Obamacare then I will expect all members of the government at every level and branch to also be enrolled unwillingly into Obamacare with zero exceptions. If some immigrants came to this country by following the procedures dictated by our laws then all prospective immigrants should be required to follow that procedure with zero exceptions !!! If the average American is required to show a long form birth certificate for his child to play ball than all prospective candidates should be required to do the same before they are even allowed to get a nomination or secure certain positions within our government that require proof of Natural Born Citizen status.

3. ” A New War On Drugs “

While I’m not ready to concede defeat in the current War On Drugs I am referring to a new and different ” War On Drugs ” It’s way past time to ban or at the very least severely regulate prescription psychotropic drugs. The days of drugging people with mental health issues into quiet submission should end. I think there is plenty of evidence to prove that this is a counter – productive policy. Too many of these highly drugged folks with legitimate mental health problems are ticking time bombs. They are disasters waiting to happen. I further propose that mental health be funded at least as well as President Obama’s Brownshirt Youth Corps. Which group would you prefer your tax dollars fund? If we don’t have the money to do this then I propose that a Congress that has no compunctions about stripping my rights should have no compunction about declaring a National Emergency and forcing Psychiatrists and other mental health workers to care for these folks pro bono for 10 – 12 hours a week. I quite frankly do not care if this is a violation of Psychiatrists and mental health workers rights there is a higher priority involved here. Our children are far more important than any shrink’s financial well being. It’s time to get at the real root causes of mental illness.

4. ” Enforce The Incitement To Violence Laws “

I’m old enough to remember the days when if you incited anyone to violence against anyone you would get a knock on your door by the local constabulary and you would be warned — once!! I think it’s time to get back to that policy. The next time anybody calls for murdering the President of the N.R.A. as happened three or four times this past week they should receive that knock and warning posthaste. The second time they do it they should be seeing nothing but striped sunlight for a few years. The next time The Black Panthers make comments about ” killing Cracker babies ” they should receive that knock and warning. The next time some Liberal commentator makes a comment about killing Rush Limbaugh they should receive that knock. The next time The Gay Militant Terrorist Rabble And Their Enabling Hordes attack a church they should receive that knock. I think you get my drift. If we can use these sorts of laws to take down The Aryan Nation then we can use them to take down the people and groups on the other side of the political aisle that advocate for violence against their opponents.

5. ” Put God Back In The Schools “

In spite of what The Usurper In Chief says we are a Christian nation founded on Christian principles. Christianity is all American’s heritage even non Christians. Quite frankly non Christians should thank the founders daily for their foresight in seeing to it that American become a tolerant nation where everybody could worship as they choose freely. If they choose to get offended that those of us whose ancestors actually founded the country insist on our heritage being the preeminent one in American society I really don’t give a damn. The train , boat , bus or plane that brought them here can bring them back to their native lands. I think the evidence that Godly societies have far fewer of these incidents becomes more clear with every new tragedy of this sort.

There you have it Ladies and Gentlemen my five point plan for drastically reducing these incidents. I invite your comments.

Paul Stanner

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When They Came — !!

When they came for the trade unionists I did nothing because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

When they came for the Gypsies I did nothing because I wasn’t a Gypsie.

When they came for the handicapped I did nothing because I was not handicapped.

When they came for the mentally ill I did nothing because I wasn’t mentally ill.

When they came for the Catholics I did nothing because I was not a Catholic.

When they came for the Constitutionalists I did nothing because I was not a Constitutionalist.

When they came for the veterans I did nothing because I was not a veteran.

When they came for the homeschoolers I did nothing because I was not a homeschooler.

When they came for the Jews I did nothing because I was not a Jew.

When they came for the TEA Party Patriots I did nothing because I was not a Tea Party Patriot.

When they came for the homosexuals I did nothing because I was not a homosexual.

When they came for the Liberals I did nothing because Liberals are too stupid to live. They got exactly what they deserved. It’s been six months now since that day and the world is a livable place again.

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Deacon Jones and Father Callahan

In a little more than two weeks America will have what is arguably the most important election in her history between one candidate that is constitutionally unqualified to even be allowed to run and the other candidate who has been a vicitm of the most vile , hateful , disgusting , and un-American discrimination I’ve ever witnessed. Sadly this discrimination is emanting from the very people that should best know better — Christians . If this candidate were a Jew enduring this sort of discrimination seven kinds of Hell would be breaking loose , if this candidate were a Muslim enduring this sort of discrimination there would be worldwide riots and CAIR would be suing everybody in sight , if this candidate were a Hindu or Buddhist the ACLU would be in court in seconds. Unfortunatley for this candidate he is a Mormon and thusly deemed by the vast majority of Christians and virtually all of the Drive By Media as not worthy of the traditional American sense of tolerance and fair play. It troubles me greatly that Christians and especially Catholics whose faith teaches them not to engage in this sort of behavior are such avid participants especially considering the assault they themselves are currently under. They are the last ones that should be casting stones. Yes yes I am aware of the Mormons history. It is indeed a checkered one. I am also aware of Jewish , Moslem and Christian history which is equally checkered. Do the Inquistion , The Naqba , The Holocaust , and Jihad ring a bell ? Many Jews , Moslems and Christians are still institutionally violently savage. When was the last time any of you heard The Mormon Church beating the war drums or slandering any other faith? Put aside your blind faith for a moment and think with your rational mind then answer me this question. Is Joseph Smith’s story really any less believable than a virgin birth and a son of God sacrificed for humaty’s sins then resurrected from the grave to sit at the right hand of God? Is Joseph Smith’s story any less believable than the Mahdi’s or Mohammed’s? Is Joseph Smith’s story any less believable than God giving Moses The Ten Commandments carved in stone or a one day supply of oil lasting for eight days? That is why it’s called faith. Mr. Romney has his and his discriminators have theirs. Who’s faith is the correct one is a question that will be answered in due course. When you alleged Christians that are slandering Mr. Romney’s faith now may be very uncomfortable come your Judgement Day. Were I you I’d give that some serious thought. Before you elect a Communist Usurping Jihad supporter to the highest office in the land and change America negatively for all time you might want to read the two stories below.

In the early 80’s in a small New England town there was a small Catholic church that fell on hard financial times. Try as they might they could not seem to right their financial ship. They had fund raising bake sales , yard sales , raffles and carnivals. They prayed fervently for their church’s survival. They cut costs. They sold everything they had that was not of an essential nature. Nothing they tried worked. Just when the situation became the darkest God as she usually does stepped in. I’ve often said that God has a delicious sense of humor. How she solved this particualr problem was one of her all time best cosmic pranks. It also contains a lesson for us all. I picture God summoning Moroni for a chat. ” Moroni I would like your help with a problem. I have a flock that has fallen on hard financial times. They have also strayed from my teachings. I would like you to help them solve their financial problems and teach them a life lesson in the process.” ” It would be my pleasure Father.” replies Moroni. ” It will be resolved in one months time.”

The Catholic Father is sitting in his rectory one day praying fervently for the financial salvation of his congregation perplexed as yet about how God is going to use him toward that end. A knock at the door interrupts his anguished state. ” Come in .” Good morning Father my name is ————— I am a Deacon at the local Mormon Temple. Word has come to us of your financial plight. We would like to help.” The Father sees a glimmer of hope but proceeds cautiously. ” What did you have in mind Sir.” ” A zero % interest loan. ” replies the Deacon. ” Well of course I’m interested Sir but I must ask one question. ” replies the Father. ” Please do. ” Why are you doing this? ” ” Because both congregations are Children Of God. We will not stand idly by while our brothers are having difficulty ” comes the reply. The deal is agrreed to and sealed with a handshake and without any fanfare. The Catholic congregation is saved. The loan was paid back in full and on time. The Father and Deacon beome fast friends as do their congregations. There are many inter-faith events held. The life lesson is taught. God does indeed work in mysterious ways and quite frequently with a Cosmically Divine sense of humor.

Now I’m sure that many of you are saying to yourselves ” Well Stanner you’ve provided very few specifics of this story so how do we know it’s true? ” I would answer that the reason that there are no specifics is because the Mormons didn’t wish any recognition for doing the right Christian thing nor did they wish the Catholic congregation to be embarassed. Mormons you see have this strange idea that many alleged Christians do not have. They talk the talk AND walk the walk. They are not Kumbaya Christians. The only reason I even know about the story is because my Mormon relatives told me about it in the strictest of confidence in reply to a question I asked them about why Mormons only help other Mormons. I suppose that it’s entirely possible that they could be lying to me. God knows it wouldn’t be the first time a relative lied to me. I’m 100 % certain that many of you Kumbaya Christians probably the vast majority will do what you virtually always do and cast the first stone by looking for an ulterior motive on the part of the Mormons and by denigrating them at every chance. As for me I will do as my faith instructs and accept their generosity which I believe to this day was given in the true Christian spirit. I have no reason to do otherwise.

The patriarch of my Mormon relatives family lost his job in the early 80’s. He was a highly paid and skilled airplane mechanic who got Chronologically Stupid overnight. One day he had a good job and a thriving family and the next he didn’t and his family was suddenly in jeopardy. His thank you for fighting WW 2 was to be told that he was now too old to work and that his job was going to China. The family was in desperate shape. He and his wife took menial low paid jobs to keep the family afloat. They raided their savings account. They did everything they could to keep their family together. Being a proud man he did not tell anyone of his problems. He did not want help. Once again when things seemed their darkest God stepped to the plate. One day the Deacon from his Mormon Church came to his home and told him that he had heard of the difficulties his family was facing. A job was offered and accepted. Granted they could not pay him what he was making as an aircraft mechanic but it was more than enough for his family and it was secure , he could have it for the rest of his life. Mormons you see take care of their own. Once again that Christian belief that so bedevils the Kumbaya Christians. Talk the talk and walk the walk. How many Christians of other denominations are homeless? How many Christians of other denominations are fighting the Demons of drug and alcohol addictions alone? How many unwed Christian mothers of other denominations have no one to turn to? Where are the other Christian churches when their brothers and sisters need help? What are they doing for their congregants suffering from these afflictions ? The beat goes on and on and on and on ad infinitum.

The Mormons I’ve described in these two stories are the Mormons of today. Do not let your fear cause you to waste your vote. America may never recover if you do.

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Dear Friends :

This is D.D. speaking. Recently while in Shenyang , Liaoning Province , China on vacation I visited The Botanical Gardens where I happened to stumble upon the nice folks you see in the pics and vids below. They are a group of Chinese Christians on holiday in Shenyang. When they found out that I was an American Christian they regaled me with an a capella version of the Chinese Christian Hymn ” China Has Hope “. What a joy it was to listen to them and speak with them even though our time together was all to brief. China does indeed have hope thanks to folks like this.

I hope you enjoy the performance. To learn more about Christians in China click here.

Stay tuned folks there will be more , much more , coming about my trip to Shenyang.

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Dear Friends

This is S.T. speaking. Assuming that you are of an Advanced Chronological state as am I or that you are a young person with class and taste who is concerned about the cultural rot infecting America as most of your elders are you probably believe as I and they do that we are currently living in a Graceless Age. I have good news for you though. Not everybody has succumbed to that insidious Hollywood influence.

Recently while on vacation in Shenyang , Liaoning Province , China I visited Beiling Park and stumbled upon the folks you see in the pics and vids below engaging in some truly classy culture. I hope you enjoy watching them being blissfully unaware of Hollywood. As for me I'll take Glenn Miller and Frank Sinatra over Kanye West EVERY time. Hell even the Rockers Of The 60's weren't stupid enough to partake in The Culture Of Death.

Stay tuned folks there will be more , much more , of my Shenyang trip coming sooon.

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BULLETIN !!! BULLETIN !!!

CNBC – Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : Hollywood , Ca. June 26 , 2012

CNBC has a scoop from the world of entertainment for you today Ladies and Gentleman. Earlier today Mr. Paul Stanner the C.E.O. and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The Oher CNBC announced that CNBC would be offering adult entertainment effective immediately. CNBC’s adult fare will be produced in conjunction with Buck Nekked Productions which is owned by adult film star John Henry ” Buck ” Nekked and his stunningly beautiful , bisexual and sizzling hot wife Holly ” The Electric Rose ” Hanson star of the adult film classics ” The Stairway To Heaven Hotel ” and ” Tex Likes Pie Too ” . CNBC , judging by Holly’s photo below is absolutley certain that ” Hollywood Knights ” is going to be a smash it. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. You really do not need to remind me every single time !!

The first offering of adult fare on CNBC will be a xxx rated talk show titled ” Hollywood Knights ” hosted by ” The Electric Rose ” herself.

Stay tuned folks this is going to get very interesting. Oh boy lots and lots of nekked Cracker women !!! Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment.

About two years ago when I was in one of my frequent ” I hate China ” moods due to Chinese stupidity I made the decision to come home. I had reached the limits of my patience with China and the Chinese. I packed all of my belongings which consisted of about ten pairs of pants and underwear , ten shirts , 2 Spring / Fall coats , 1 Winter coat , ten pair of socks $ 1,000 worth of educational DVDs I use for my students that I bought in China , a computer printer that I bought in China , a camcorder that I bought in China , some photographic equipment that I bought in China , three pairs of shoes that I bought in China and a mobile phone that I bought in America into three medium size boxes and shipped them home via the Chinese Post Office. When shipping via the Chinese post Office everything being shipped is inspected and cleared by Chinese customs / postal officials. I was prepared to leave for home in two weeks. God had other ideas. She has a vicious sense of humor. A couple of days after I shipped my belongings home a friend called me and asked if I was indeed going home. I replied in the affirmative. He told me of a job opening at a school run by a very good friend of his and begged me to please call her and have a phone interview. Since he was a good friend I consented. The job indeed was quite a good one and offered a two year contract. Since I was quickly approaching Chronologically Advanced status which means my job prospects in America were dim at best I consented to stay. God’s vicious sense of humor stirkes again !!

Fast forward two years.

I’ve now signed my second two year contract with this school so it’s time to send my property back to China. Knowing the efficiency of the American Post Office I decide to send them back via Fed Ex. I check with Fed Ex to confirm that they can ship to China. ” No problem ” I’m assured. I pay the bill and the property is shipped. Seven days later I’m notified that the package will be at the main gate of my school the Friday of the current week. They are unable to tell me what time or even if it will be afternoon or evening. Right then I realize I’m probably in very deep shit. The Yellow Knights Of The HaNazee have my property and there doesn’t appear to be a Jardeen Rose anywhere to be found. Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao is going to torment me yet again I fear. Very soon afterward my fears would come to fruition. 8:00 A.M. Friday comes and I’m sitting at the main gate of the school in my beach chair listening to my MP 3 player and drinking my morning coffee while waiting for the Fed Ex truck. Nine hours later and still no Fed Ex truck has come. Back I go to my apartment to check with Fed Ex. ” Your package is in customs in Beijing” I’m told. ” They need further info.” I’m instructed to have my Foreign Affairs Officer at my school confirm my identity and employment at my school and to send them a copy of my employment contract , an excruciatingly detailed list of the contents , my Expert Workers Certificate and my Passport. Note they want my actual passport not a copy. I am loathe to give them my passport for obvious reasons but there is no other option so I send the required info. Three days pass and I’m informed by my F.A.O. that they won’t release my property. Now keep in mind here that the very same government that inspects every item sent via the Chinese Post Office refuses to open these packages and inspect them to allay any fears or suspicions they may have about the contents therein. I beg , I plead earnestly all to no avail. ” Lucidity is indeed THE enemy for these people! The rules are the rules ” I’m told ” They can not even be bent never mind broken for anyone for any reason ever . ” Apparently The Yellow Knights Of The HaNazee who work in The Chinese Customs Office in Beijing are scared to death that the Meiguo Guadzi { American Devil } is an underwear bomber terrorist and if they open my package it will explode and they will be sleeping with The Ghastly Appartion A.K.A. Chaiman Mao . I know this is pure unadulterated bulshit. Friends in China anything can be done if you know the right people and have enough money. Unfortunatley I do not have either of those resources. I go to my F.A.O. again and ask him to please find someone with the appropriate weight / connections to get this done. I know that somewhere in this city and probably right here at this university there is somebody that can get this done. He refuses , in all likelihood because it means a little work for him. I press him for action and he still refuses. I shift gears hoping that I can do an end run around all of this stupidity. I ask him what is the real reason Customs won’t release my property. I’m told it’s because I’ve not been out of the country in three months so my passport lacks some needed mark and that the package is too BIG. I concede this battle. I will never concede the war. Trust me friends when I tell you that some Chinese person sooner or later is going to pay for the stupidity of The Yellow Knights Of The HaNazee. I will get the $ 8,000 back by hook or by crook. Take it to the bank!! I will put a little chink in The Great Wall Of Chinese Stupidity !!

Four months later and my property as far as I know is still sitting in Chinese Customs in Beijing. I’m absolutley certain that relatively soon this will be delcared abandoned property and some HaNazee will come into an $ 8,000 bonanza at my expense. In the meantime I’m out $ 8,000 and absolutley no Chinese person gives a damn. China is safe for Communism. That is all that matters to them. The Meiguo Guadzi { American Devil } underwear bomber terrorist has been thwarted. Can you imagine what would have happened had any of my soiled underwear been in the package? HaNazee all over the world are shuddering at the mere thought of that prospect. God’s vicious sense of humor again??

The cherry on top of this ice cream sundae of stupidity is that the very same F.A.O. that knows all of the details of this sordid tale thusly knowing why I don’t have very many nice clothes berated me just the other day about how I dress on my own PERSONAL time.

Readers please be aware that these stories of ” Tales From The Land Of Chairman Mao’s Miracle ” are written in two different threads. ” Spaced Teacher Battles The Yellow Knights Of The HaNazee ” are the true stories of my experiences here in The Middle Cosmos while ” The Jardeen Roses Of Li Tan” is my FICTIONAL re-write of 5,000 years of Chinese history , mythology and culture from a foreigner’s perspective.You’re probably thinking ” My God how presumptuous of him.” Trust me somebody had to do it. They’ve had 5,000 years to get the job done and they just keep screwing it up. We trust our readers to be able to distinguish between the two topic threads contained within the story. That may be a giant leap of faith on the author’s ,my ,part. I write the damn story and there are days I can’t remember which thread is which. The Middle Cosmos has a way of confusing the most rational clear thinking people. It’s part of the price you must pay for the experiences of living here. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers and weeds. The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazee. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine. I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us so be careful with your grammar and spelling you never know when The HaNazee Grammar Master #1 or The HaNazee Spelling Misstress # 7 are watching.

All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced One or Bea herself.

I hope that ” Spaced Teacher’s Adventures In The Middle Cosmos ” will soon become an epic novel of adventure and conquest. If you are or know a literary agent that would be interested in publishing this please have him contact Bea. He / she can just leave a comment about one of the blog posts and Bea will see it and reply . Bea is not Lucidly Challenged ALL the time !!!

My Creative Commons License

Rip Us Off At Your Own Peril !!!

Dear Readers and Potential Intellectual Property Thieves :
Please be advised that ALL work including print , video and photographic contributions and all characters , places , events and mythology associated with any and all of our creative writing and posted on this blog or ANY of our other blogs or internet social media sites or other internet outlets are the intellectual property of Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises / the original authors and are not to be used for any purpose whatsoever especially commercial purposes without the written consent of Paul Stanner / the original authors. This notice is effective from the inception of this blog and all of our other varied outlets and is thusly in effect until such time as we discontinue them. We guard our intellectual property zealously so step lightly. You have been WARNED !!!