Can You Hear Me Now? How Reflective Listening Can Help With Negotiating

When you use reflective listening the central question isn’t what can you do for this person but rather, “How does this person see themselves and their situation?” This requires empathy, your desire to understand the person from his or her internal frame of reference rather than from some external point of view. The empathic listener tries to get inside the other’s thoughts and feelings. A person who sees that a listener is trying to understand him or her will be willing to explore his or her problems more deeply.

You shouldn’t just repeat what you’ve heard.

Use your own words to show that you’ve absorbed and understand the information.

Paraphrase and re-interpret what’s been said so it’s clear to the other party their words resonate with you.

Reflective listening can benefit parties in a negotiation,

Improve your understanding of the other person,

Help the other party clarify their thoughts, and

Reassure the other person that someone is willing to understand his or her point of view and wants to help.