Canada too polite to tell Royal family to sod off

Canada has smile politely and welcomed the Duke of Cambridge’s family, despite the entire country wishing they would just sod off.

With the Cambridge family now six days into their official visit, Canadians across the country are privately insisting they’re outstaying their welcome.

Canadian Simon Tremblay told us, “We are – as a nation – known for our great manners and polite demeanour, but underneath I assure you we’re a seething mass of resentment and rage, just like everyone else.

“How dare the Royal family come over here and make us prance about for their entertainment? It’s outrageous.

“They’re like the neighbour who pops in for a cup of tea but is still there demanding breakfast the following morning – we all have our limits you know.

“But of course, to their faces, I smiled politely and told them I hope they have a wonderful stay here in Canada.

“Look, I’m Canadian, what do you expect. It’s genetic.

“Wait, they’re here for eight days? Jesus Christ, I start getting cramps when I hold a smile for more than a couple of hours.”