Google goggles are the rose-tinted glasses through which you view a new paramour after an exhaustive Internet search on them yields very impressive results: a book written in the Amazon top 100, a library wing named after them, a gorgeous portrait taken by Herb Ritz, a Pulitzer, etc. You might do this after a particularly riveting email exchange with someone you met online, before or after a blind date, after a one-night stand, or just about anyone you’ve considering sleeping with (or sleeping with again).

But while this person may be good on paper (or, should we say, on Web pages), they may not be good for you in person. Your Google goggles may prevent you from recognizing this before you agree to a second date or to sex, whichever comes first. We know that pigs will fly out of your ass before you stop Googling everyone you meet, from your new dentist to the new hottie at the dog run, so all we’ll say is this: Don’t believe everything you read online. Unless you read it on this site.