My story of what its like to be married to an Amway cult follower. I expose the lies that our upline told and what happens at Amway meetings and functions. I leave the explanations of why Amway is a poor business opportunity or the tool scam to other bloggers. This blog mainly exists to curse out my former upline, aka the cult leaders, and to let everyone know what kind of idiots I had to put up with. Feel free to join in or live vicariously!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

101 More Ways to Piss off an IBO

Had so much fun with the original post that I had to carry it through with a little help from some of the people who left comments

Are you one of those assholes that sells Amway shit?

How does your wife feel about you being in Amway?

How much time do your children spend with babysitters and daycare because you’re too busy with your Amway business to spend any time with them?

How much debt have you gone into because of Amway?

Does your upline ever give you money?

Did some half wit Platinum give you a piece of his mind and you held on to it?

You’ve got to pay to attend seminars so Amway can teach you how to be a commissioned salesperson? Don’t most companies provide free training?

How do your upline Diamonds split the profits from the tool scam money?

What’sit like having everyone laugh at you when you say you’re in Amway?

You seem awfully consumed by an unnatural desire for materialistic things.

If it's really your own business, then why does your upline control more of your life than my boss does at my J.O.B.?

If I’m the broke loser, how come I own my house outright while you are begging family for money to avoid foreclosure?

If your Amway upline Diamond asked you to drink a glass of Kool-Aid, would you do it without question? Even if his name was Jim Jones?

Does it bother you that the “fake it til you make it” quote sounds like an old bedroom joke?

What proof do you have that 95% of the population is dead or broke by age 65?

How fast did you lose your friends thanks to Amway?

When my childhood friend told me there really wasn't a Santa Claus or Easter Bunny, was he being a dream-stealer or just telling the truth?

Who do you like better? Ken or Barbie?

Amway IBO’s are lowlife scumsucking bastards.

I couldn’t possibly join your Amway scam. I’m not a liar.

It’ll cost me an extra $50 a month to have an Amway web page?

Does it make you feel superior to others when you sneer at them for having a job?

I’m a compassionate human being who cares about others. You’re an Amway ambot.

I was watching the Stepford Wives last night and I thought about you.

Where are the other 2 stooges?

Are you always this stupid or are you just quoting your Amway upline?

Why do people in Amway have such a low opinion of others?

You want to show my a board plan? I’m busy now. Can you come back and bore me some other time? Like twenty years from now.

You’re in Amway? You must have some obscene desire to have people hate you.

Go ahead and tell me everything that’s good about Amway. Oh you’re second is up!

Look up idiot in the dictionary. The definition is people who are involved in Amway.

You never used to be this stupid until you got involved in Amway.

Don’t feel bad. A lot of people get scammed into Amway.

Are all ambots a big an asshole as you or are you just making a big effort today?

You’re living proof that people in Amway are brainwashed.

I used to think you were a pain in the ass but now that you’re involved in Amway my opinion of you has lowered.

I would ask how much money you make in Amway but I know you’re going to lie to me.

You don’t want to talk to me. I’m the dreaded dream stealer!

What do you mean I’m fat and should go on the Amway Trim diet plan? You’re a fucking inconsiderate Amway bastard. At least I can lose weight.

Don’t you ever get tired of being an ambot asshole?

You sound like you’re possessed by a sack of shit Platinum.

I’ve come across Satan worshippers who are less offensive than you Amway ambots.

What makes an ambot tick? I sure hope its a bomb!

Is your family happy that you don’t come home at night because you’re at Amway meetings?

You used to be a nice person. Then you joined Amway.

You say you’ll go far one day thanks to Amway? Why don’t you go far right now and stay there?

Must you leave so soon? I was about to put cyanide in the XS.

You’re in Amway? Is there medication for that?

Thanks for pointing out that I have a J.O.B.

You signed up with Amway? You’re as dumb as you look.

We all sprang from apes but you ambots didn’t spring far enough.

The only skill you’ll ever get from being in Amway is the art of being rude and obnoxious.

Don’t you have a night owl to run off to?

I don’t know what makes you Amway ambots so dumb but whatever it is really works.

If jobs are so bad why do you think people have them?

I thought people who joined Amway did it to avoid spending time with their families.

I’m out of my mind because I won’t join Amway? At least I’ve still got one.

I might have a shitty job but anything’s better than being an ambot.

Why are you pretending to talk into your cell phone?

I’ve had enough of hearing about how awesome Amway is. No pyramid scheme is awesome.

If you ambots find it hard to laugh at yourselves the rest of us will do it for you.

Oh shit. The fuck up ambot is visiting again!

When can I come to an Amway board plan? How about never. Works for me!

Don’t you have an Amway cult leader you need to run off to and worship?

You wanna hear my dreams? It involves duct taping your mouth.

What am I? An ambot magnet?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am a Satanist. My daddy!

Why are you ambots the biggest bunch of dumb asses around?

You’re starting to make sense. Go back and get more instructions from your Amway cult leader.

If I join Amway I have to be all nicey nice to everyone? Do I look like a fucking people person?

I used to be in Amway. I started out with nothing and I ended up with even less.

The only ambots who aren’t as annoying as you are already dead.

I’m trying to imagine how you’d be if you weren’t a brainwashed ambot.

Amway’s got too many freaks.

If I throw a stick will you leave?

You ambots are not as bad as people say. You are worse!

Are you brain dead?

You’re not as obnoxious as other people. Thanks to Amway you’re obnoxious in a different and worst way.

Calling you ambots stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Why are you ambots so devoted to spreading brainwashed bullshit?

Don’t you realize there’s enough hate in this world without you ambots giving us more reasons?

Ever since you became an ambot you have more faces than Sybil!

How did you get ambots get here? Who left the cage open?

How can you tell when an Amway IBO is lying? His lips are moving!

I can’t talk to you right now. Tell me where you’ll be in 2 to 5 years.

I heard what you said. I just don’t give a flying fuck.

I’d rather pass a kidney stone than go to an Amway meeting with you.

If I want any more shit out of you should I just go ahead and squeeze your head?

As an Amway ambot your mission in life is to make everyone hate you.

Why do I have to pay admission to listen to a bunch of brainwashed ambots?

You ambots need to learn from your parent’s mistakes. Use birth control!

Obviously you’ve mistaken me for someone who gives a shit about Amway.

What do you mean Perfect Water came from the Fountain of Knowledge?

Talk is cheap but those Amway products sure aren’t.

They just invented a new coffin for Amway IBO’s that just goes over the head. It's for ambots who are dead from the neck up.

What you ambots lack in intelligence you more than make up for in stupidity.

When you die, I'd like to go to your Amway funeral but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

You Amway IBO’s are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a rabbit’s ass.

You ambots are living proof that shit can grow legs and walk.

Everyone hates you Amway IBO’s so much that when you walk into a Taco Bell everyone inside runs for the border.

You Amway IBO’s start at the bottom of the pyramid and then its all downhill from there.

I had more ways to piss off an IBO but once again I forced myself to stop when I hit 101! Ha ha!

Colin - it has to do with IBOFB's position on Amway's prestige tampons. My argument is that when women are buying tampons the more important things are absorbency and no leak protection and I've asked him why women would choose prestige over those. He stopped commenting here after that. No answer. What can I say. Obviously a clueless male on this topic!

Colin - I didn't buy them. Ambot did! Typical male knows nothing about them. Amway's brand comes in 2 boxes totaling the same amount as one box of Tampax but at 3 times the price. Plastic applicator so not biodegradable/flushable. And not very absorbent either. Men just don't have a clue! But I'm sure IBOFB thinks he's the expert on Amway's prestige tampons!

This "tampon incident" is hilarious! What with some males being experts (I am not) It’s connotation sounds very international, or national security level stuff. I just like the sound of that, "The Tampon Incident." Maybe you should write a topic that will tie IBOFB's name to the "The Tampon Incident" on google results.

And you said that ambot bought these from scamway, all as a thought of his own you mean? Nuff said! Mhhh...come to think of it I think it's the one thing I was never pressured to buy as an ambot, was single at the time. ;) Wife would throw a fit if I bought scamway tampons. Guess I would have a life long unforgettable "Tampon Incident" at my home!

ExAmbot - I'm sure I find it a whole lot more hilarious than IBOFB did coming here and making a fool out of himself as the self proclaimed Amway tampon expert!

Geez all the times I'd phone Ambot up and ask him to stop at the drug store on his way home and bring home a box of tampons and he hated having to buy them. But put him in front of a computer on Amway's web site and he had no problem buying the wrong type of tampons for me! Most men don't make that mistake too many times!

Colin - IBOFB showed up here about a year ago and tried to give us women tips on eye make up application. Yeah right! I think that was when he got asked about tampon application too! I guess he decided it was wiser to stop leaving comments!

Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.

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About Me

I'm married to a former Ambot - one of those annoying commissioned Amway salespeople. Fortunately he saw the light of the horrible cult he was part of and ended his association. I'm here to report on the crap he took and I had to put up with. Hoping I might be able to help some poor souls who find themselves in the same situation I was - married to an ambot.