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Friday, March 11, 2011

Healing Trauma

I vowed not to blog again until I dealt with my own trauma, and was in a better place to deal with my kid's trauma. I was wrong. Let me say it again for all of you who don't hear it enough... I WAS WRONG!!

I have come to a place that I truly believe God gave me these blessings to heal my own crazy while helping them heal theirs. No easy feat, I tell ya', but there it is. That being said, I feel like maybe I could help others along the way. I'm no superwoman~ no, family (they really think I am), I'm not! I am broken and hurting and trying to make sense of my life. If me writing my journey through the loneliness and pain helps me, then it might help others.

I will not go into my own trauma here. I just don't think it's necessary or even beneficial to anyone. Just know it's there, and it makes me more like my RADlings than I care to admit. On many levels, I know that is why God gave them to me. I see myself in their eyes every. single. day. It is painful. It makes me want to turn away. It makes me physically ill. It makes me ANGRY! For their sakes I will choose to die to myself, and get the help I need, so that I can better understand how to heal their hearts before it is too late.

So things on this blog may take a turn. Not for the worse, hopefully for the better, but most certainly off the well worn path. If you care to join me, I'd be happy to hold a hand for a while, share some laughs, and walk for a while with you. Come join me on my journey.

PS~ If you are related to me, and are worried I'm losing it and you feel the need to worry about me, please know that I AM okay, I WILL be fine, and this is nothing new under the sun. I am still the same person, now you just know a bit more than before.

9 comments:

I'm proud of you. Facing our own trauma feels CRAPPY. As Christine says, Me No Want To! (Me neither, btw.) But it is the right thing. Monday, I am calling to get set up with a therapist too. (See, now I said it, I *have* to do it. Hold me to it.)

29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

Such a goody, isn't it? I love this verse. I'm a firm believer that you are right where you at for a reason... I am reminded of this everyday when one of my boys looks at me with their big brown eyes... No misftakes in God's plan girlfriend - he's got the right woman hired for this job. He knows your strong, your brave and your good. Peace be with you my friend. Hearts, SJ

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Where did this Herd come from?

I am a homeschool mom to 5 Beautiful kids but first and foremost, I am wife to an amazing man. How we got here is an adventure in learning to trust in God's word, both written, and softly spoken in our ears. OK, sometimes he yells so loud our house burns down, but we like to think we're better listeners now.