But I am moving in the right direction. As a follow up to my last post, Defeathering Our Nest, I am proud to report that in this past week I have “dealt with” 23 Rubbermaid boxes in the back part of my attic. The weather was cooler and my mom was visiting -so that was a great combo to spur me on. My mom genuinely enjoys this process. You would think it was like opening packages on Christmas morning for her. She has the opposite problem that I do…she doesn’t hold on to ANYTHING. She even tossed my dad’s love letters to her, long before we ever found out that he had written them!

Honestly, my mom is one of the only people I would let into this process. She passes no judgement on me as I have held on to more than she ever would have drug through the decades. It also helped that I had a very non-sentimental vibe going last week.

I can tell when I feel this way. I wake up and think, “today is a great day to get rid of stuff”. No emotion attached to items. No remembering 3 little boys, who are now grown men with their childhood packed up one floor above me. I steel myself not to dwell of the beautiful past.

Focus on the future. A clean attic. Less work for my boys and their wives. A monumental task completed. And lightness for hub and I if we decide to do something crazy, like live half of our lives in another state.

Once I got through the initial self- loathing for waiting so long to do this task, and that I had left so much stuff to deal with, I was flying through the boxes. Easter baskets, tooth fairy pillows, plastic pumpkins for candy, board games, stuffed animals, baseball cards…I could go on and on ad nauseam. I even came across the box with our wedding momentos. I still have 27 lilac napkins that have our names and wedding date on them.

From our reception.

35 years ago.

Bless my heart.

However, in that same box was a wooden music box that I had bought in Austria when I lived there while I was in college. When you lift the lid it plays Edelweiss, from The Sound of Music. Inside were my hub and I’s high school rings and most exciting, my gold baby bracelet. When our family was complete having 3 boys- I’m sure I thought that was a good place for safe keeping, back in the days before the box got reassigned to the attic.

But I never figured that my middle age brain drain would not remember it was there. Yet, there it was. And now I have someone special to give it to. I polished that little treasure and gave it to my new little treasure that very day.

My little treasure wearing the my baby bracelet for the first time.

With the 20+ boxes emptied, that is roughly 1/8 of the attic contents. I ended up with 4 pared down boxes, but in each of those boxes is an 8 x11 paper with one of the boys names on it. So when the time comes for the big breaking up of household, each son will take the boxes assigned to them and if I see them again, I will know that they have already been dealt with.

I am so encouraged, and as soon as we get another break in the heat, I’m going back up there to bring another load down. If any of my fellow midlife mamas have had a hard time getting rid of the past, I urge you to start the defeathering process. It can bring such feelings of power and control, at a time of life where that can be in short supply.