Grain Free Anzacs

Do you remember when I sat on your bench, eating the mixture off the wooden spoon and the cookie dough you left in the yellow bowl as our Anzacs baked in the oven?

If only I realised then that they were the very best of times.

That 25 years later I would be sitting on my couch with the weight of the world on my shoulders and wishing I was there.

Wishing I soaked up the simplicity of those perfect moments.

Wishing I could feel your unconditional love.

Wishing I could be as present now as I was then.

Wishing I was gentler on myself and that my load felt lighter.

Wishing I never had to grow up and feeling that I’m just not made for this adult world.

But rather, I was made like you.

We thrive in our homes, with our little ones at our feet and a mixing bowl in our hands.

But times have changed and unlike you I can’t keep the outside world away.

I can’t hide or escape and on days like today I find myself thinking that I just can’t do it without you.

So I make Anzacs and I take my mind back to being that little girl who sat on your bench. I cry. I think about who you were and what you taught me and I know that somehow, someway, those very things will make everything right. That yet again it will be your love and your lessons that fix me.

10 comments

WendywooApril 22, 2015 - 6:42 pm

Oh dear, Bianca, I’m so sorry to hear you’re having such a rough time. Pregnancy is sooooooooooo strange- you want that little baby so badly, but with all those hormones whizzing all over you, it can bring up so many emotions and memories, and often, a feeling of inadequacy. I remember, when my daughter was a few days old ( she’s 29 today!), thinking that I wasn’t grown up enough to look after this tiny, precious little human. You are a great mother, so loving and caring, but from what I can make out, a long way from your own mother. I think modern societies are very hard for women and families, when they are separated by geography from their own parents, who, hopefully, love them unconditionally, and are able just to “be there” for them. It’s certainly true in Britain, and will be if my daughter has children, as she lives in London, and we live in the Lake district, but in Australia, your distances are vast and visits must be very rare. Remember that you have many, many friends, scattered throughout the world, who cannot be physically with you, but who, nonetheless, are cheering you on and thanking their lucky stars that they “found” you. Lu has just gone back to school, hasn’t she? I know you weren’t looking forward to that- it feels like they’re growing away from you, with each new term, but that will never happen. Take care of your very special self…..curl up on the sofa, eat another bliss ball and let’s hope today /tomorrow is happier for you.
With lots of love, Wendy xx

Oh Wendy your words as always are perfect!!! In adequate is exactly how I have been feeling – and missing my mum terribly! Thankfully I am feeling better today but the sickness is hanging around, not as intense thank goodness.
I wasn’t going to see my Mum until after the baby arrived but my Grandma is ill and I suspect the kids and I will do a flying trip back to Victoria very soon. I think where there is illness in our families it makes it even harder being so far away. I hope you are going well and thank you again for your comforting, kind words. Bianca. x

I’m going to be one of those annoying people who says “I made this recipe BUT changed…..” because I did make this recipe but changed a few things….. 🙂 I didn’t have Medjool dates so added a handful of sultanas (eyeballing the amount to the size of Medjool dates) and 3 standard dates. Used all honey instead of maple as that is what I had, plus added an egg yolk as my alterations meant it needed a bit more moisture (and we are egg junkies in this house). So my staple recipe was the same, just a few tweaks to the fruit & sweetener.
They are lovely biscuits and even my non-paleo husband is enjoying them! He is not often found of the grain-free sugar free recipes. 🙂
Thanks Bianca.

Hi Vicki, if you followed the recipe and method then I am not sure what has gone wrong, my guess would be that they needed more blending time or perhaps the processor you used isn’t strong enough to bind them – in that case you can add extra dates, honey or water to help them come together. I am sorry they didn’t work out for you, I hope you find some other recipes that you enjoy.

Finally got around to trying these. But as per usual, I couldn’t help but tweak ( can’t handle too much coconut). So I made these with 1/2 coconut & 1/2 almond meal. They were soo yummy my sister made a batch the next day with ground ginger to make them into ginger nuts. They were delish too. Nice to have a chewy Bikkie. Thanks for the recipe.