Skinny Italian: Zucchini Spaghetti

YOU GUYS, Real Housewives of New Jersey is BACK! To celebrate, I almost re-listened to Turning the Tables, but I would rather set myself on fire than every have to deal with that mess again. SO instead, I decided to do some cooking with everyone’s favorite formerly incarcerated no brain, Teresa Giudice! Salut!

cheers to the craziest broads on tv! image source: giphy.com

I cannot stress enough how many hilarious things are in this cookbook. I will say, Tre obviously knows her shit (being a first generation American in a VERY traditional Italian family- see Melissa Gorga’s nonsense) but there are some things in this book (which was published in 2010) I think she now may… regret saying.

For example, Teresa boldly claims that there are “no skeletons in her closet,” unlike some of her cast mates.

my bad! image source: giphy.com

Teresa’s husband, current inmate Juicy Joe Giudice, sprinkles his particular brand of nonsense all over this book with his “Juicy Bits from Joe.” Try not to vomit, I dare you. Anyway, most of them are whatever, but he does use one “tip” to slut shame former RHONJ housewife Danielle Staub. Joe recommends that you act “respectfully” when you are visiting someone’s house and then proceeds to talk about how Danielle was all over that gross guy she dated in Season One in front of Tre & Joe’s kids. This whole thing is just so yuck, but I thought it was such an odd snippet to put into a cookbook.

fistfights, however, are always okay at parties. image source: perezhilton.com

Onto the food!

My husband bought me a spiralizer I hadn’t used (or even opened the box) for Christmas so I immediately wanted to make Tre’s sautéed zuchinni “spaghetti” with pine nuts. Plus, it sounded like it would instantly turn me into a skinny Italian, so I was in.

ingrediences! that joke will never get old.

Teresa was really ahead of her time with this recipe- it seems like in the past year, you can’t throw an indictment without hitting a zoodles or other spiralized veggie recipe. I am impressed with her foresight.

I was too busy cooking zoodles to notice we was making fake w2s! image source: giphy.com

I was really proud of how my zoodles turned out. Especially when my husband informed me that I did not, in fact, have to manually spiral the veggies as the attachment to my Kitchenaid would do it for me. Oops. I feel like he momentarily worried about reproducing with a person with my brain power, but too late, sucka!

Any way, don’t they look preytyyyyyyyyyyy?

and I was so proud, bragging about how I had only cut my hand twice.

The recipe is super simple to make and was delicious.

my husband liked it too, even though he is generally wary of all things bravo.

Say what you will about Teresa Giudice (and I, in fact, have said lots of things) but homegirl knows her way around the kitchen. 10/10 would make again!