Money Makeover: "We're Addicted to Spending!"

On top of overspending, the Maravolas have made some major money missteps — including ignoring payment deadlines and borrowing from their 401(k)s to make ends meet. Financial planner Robert Pagliarini gets this couple to face up to reality -- and sets them on the road to financial freedom.

Heather and Anthony Maravola met in 1999, when they were both waiting tables at a Red Lobster in Gurnee, IL. From the get-go, the couple's connection seemed "right and easy." The first time they locked lips, "It felt like second nature, as if we'd been kissing for the last hundred years," says Heather, 36. Anthony, who'd spent the previous three years having casual relationships, says Heather made him want to settle down. "On our first date, I told her I was done playing around," says Anthony, 35. The South Elgin, IL–based couple moved in together within months and after a year of dating, Anthony took Heather back to the Red Lobster to propose.

A lot has changed for the couple since they tied the knot six years ago — they're both working in professional fields (she's a staffing coordinator for a payroll company; he's in the education sales industry), own a town house, and are now the proud parents of Joey, 4, and Sophia, 1. Their marriage continues to be characterized by the ease and openness of their early days together — with one glaring exception: money.

Last winter, after a series of bad decisions, the couple's financial situation took a nosedive. On a whim, Anthony borrowed from his 401(k) to invest in an initial public offering that ended up tanking, decimating the couple's nest egg (Heather had emptied her 401(k) when she took a year off to stay home with Joey). Meanwhile, Heather — who assumed the role of the family bill payer — had secretly run up about $7,000 in credit card debt and was finding it difficult to keep up with the monthly payments. She soon fell behind on all of their bills, racking up tons of late charges. Unbeknownst to Anthony, Heather then took out four so-called "payday loans" (small, short-term cash advances that carried a mind-boggling interest rate of around 500 percent) totaling about $1,000 to cover costs. She was spending some $400 a month to pay them off but still barely chipping away at the principal they owed. Eventually Heather missed a couple of mortgage payments — a potentially disastrous move that served as a wake-up call. "In my attempt to pretend that our life was a nice, pretty picture, I had put us in danger of losing our home," she says.

Heather told Anthony about their debts (which peaked at around $10,000) and her various missteps, and to his credit, he assumed some responsibility. "I never asked questions because I didn't really want to know," he admits. The couple immediately cut up their credit cards, put Anthony in charge of the finances, and started tracking their budget. Still, they both feel that they need help to complete a turnaround. "We're paying all our utility bills on time, but we don't have enough left over to pay even the minimums on our cards," says Anthony. "If we don't figure out how to get ahead, we could go backward."

Heather and Anthony's balance sheet

Annual gross income: $78,000

Monthly take-home: $4,800

Monthly expenses

Mortgage: $1,755

Child care: $920

Groceries: $500

Utilities: $480

Transportation: $430

Entertainment/online gaming/gifts: $410

Medical/dental co-pays: $100

Clothing/grooming: $70

Total expenses: $4,665

Heather and Anthony have already taken the most important step: scrutinizing their finances and committing to change. "They're facing the truth about their spending rather than choosing the path of denial," says financial planner Robert Pagliarini, author of The Six-Day Financial Makeover. The couple's next challenge? "Cut spending to the bone and free up money to start paying off debt and saving for the future," Pagliarini says. Here's how.

FINANCIAL ROADBLOCK: "We have no clue how to make the big financial decisions!"

MONEY-SMART SOLUTION: Get educated about your options — as a team.

The Maravolas' situation has markedly improved since Anthony took over their finances, but they still feel it's a case of the blind leading the blind when it comes to their long-term goals of climbing out of debt and creating a safety net. "We don't know what to prioritize," says Heather. "Should we be saving for our retirement or college? Where does paying off debt fit in? We get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing."

Instead of either Heather or Anthony managing the family's finances on their own, Pagliarini suggests that the couple take on the challenge together. "It's okay for one partner alone to assume responsibility for a chore like taking out the garbage or making dinner," he says, "but when it comes to finances, both partners need to have their hands in the pot because the decisions that you make can seriously impact your future." Pagliarini recommends the couple log on to bankrate.com to read basic, user-friendly articles on everything from establishing an emergency fund to improving credit scores. Heather and Anthony should meet monthly for a financial "date" to go over their budget and review their goals, as well as schedule weekly financial check-ins where they can openly discuss money matters as they arise -- including the inevitable slipup or urge to shop. "People who are spenders at heart and have gotten into trouble before need a system of checks and balances," says Pagliarini. Once both Heather and Anthony become actively involved in their finances, he adds, their financial priorities will become much clearer.

FINANCIAL ROADBLOCK: "We feel like we're leaving the kids in the lurch!"

MONEY-SMART SOLUTION: Take care of yourselves first.

Just as Heather and Anthony picked up destructive habits from their parents, they worry that their own kids will be handicapped by their historically poor judgment. "We have yet to save a dime toward their college," laments Heather, "so how are we supposed to teach them about being responsible with money?" While Pagliarini, a father himself, empathizes with the Maravolas' desire to start saving for their kids' education, he stresses that the best thing they can do to safeguard their children's future is to build themselves a nest egg. "Parents always want to give their children a better life than they've had, but oftentimes they lose sight of their own security," says Pagliarini. "If you can only afford one or the other, I always recommend saving for your own retirement rather than your kids' education." Why? "There are so many options for an 18-year-old to pay for school, including low-interest loans, financial aid, or working part-time," he says, "but other than saving throughout their working life, there are zero strategies for a 65-year-old to pay for their retirement."

Pagliarini suggests that Heather and Anthony start by contributing 1 percent of their salaries each month to their companies' 401(k)s through direct deposit. "Contributing to a retirement plan where your employers match a percent of your contributions is like getting a raise — plus it's motivating," Pagliarini says. If they take the necessary steps to become financially solvent now, "it's more likely that Heather and Anthony's son and daughter will be impacted by their commitment to responsible money habits, not their parents' past mistakes," he adds. Eventually, when their kids get old enough to receive an allowance, the couple can talk to them about saving and budgeting for goals — advice that will ring true because they'll be speaking from experience.

ANTHONY: "We've opened all the accounts Robert told us to: 401(k)s, an emergency fund, and two separate online accounts for Christmas and gaming conventions. The biggest change has been how much we've curbed our spending. I'm incredibly proud of Heather. She occasionally slips up — she's only human — but it's never nearly as bad."

HEATHER: "When the air-conditioning in my car conked out, we actually had the money to fix it! I'm also setting spending limits: When I needed new clothes recently, Anthony said if I waited a couple of weeks, I could spend $100. I have never waited to buy something — which is how I got into trouble. But it worked, and it wasn't that hard."

Through direct deposit, the couple puts $50 into their emergency fund every two weeks, as well as $25 toward Anthony's gaming fund and $25 toward the family gift fund.

Heather and Anthony now pay an average of $500 each month to the collection agencies that have taken on their outstanding credit card debt. They will have paid off the card with the highest balance by the end of October.

This makeover experience has been amazing! We're in the process of paying down two of our credit cards, one of which carries our highest balance. We've had to dip into our savings here and there, particularly when our finished basement flooded and we had to replace the carpeting. But before this makeover, we wouldn't have even had the savings to rely on. Having that safety net is huge!

Tony and I have also both changed our attitudes toward spending. Any time either of us goes to make a purchase, we consult "the books," otherwise known as Quicken. We ask ourselves — and each other — questions before we venture out: Do we have spending room? How much? Can we still pay ourselves and the bills? Before the makeover, there was never any accountability, and we suffered because of it. Now, we have a higher level of mutual respect for each other in that sense.

My biggest takeaway from this experience has been learning to practice restraint and becoming much more disciplined and patient where my spending is concerned. Our balance sheet may dictate that I can't get those new boots or that pair of jeans right away, and if that happens, I'm OK with it. I had to realize that it's just "stuff," and nothing you can buy in a store will make you smarter, cooler, or more well-liked in the eyes of someone else. I tell myself "You are enough!" and that resets my perspective when I feel I'm starting to slip.

For the first time ever, we're seeing that light at the end of the debt tunnel. It's a long road, but thanks to Robert Pagliarini's advice, we're much better equipped to travel it now.

Tony:

Things have definitely improved. We've gotten more organized and actually know what we owe all of our creditors (instead of just ignoring the mail when it comes in). Crossing off those credit cards from the list as they're paid off is no longer a fantasy. We've made it our reality, and we're not living in denial anymore. We've also taken steps to cut our grocery budget by instituting two "leftover nights" during the week. The results are twofold in that we only have to buy enough for five meals during the week, and we're not throwing away spoiled, forgotten-about food. Robert helped us prioritize, and inspired us to look for those little ways to cut costs. I'm sure we'll find more as we go. It feels good to know that we're taking care of ourselves, and that we're finally on our way to being more financially secure.