After The Beatles broke up, Paul McCartney quickly released two LPs -- the slapdash McCartney of "Maybe I'm Amazed" fame, and the honestly really quite good Ram of "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey" fame. Then he started hankering for a full travelin' band again, so he recruited guitarist Denny Laine, drummer Denny Seiwell and his wife Denny "Linda" McCartney, and founded the Denny's restaurant chain. Serving more than 400 Moons Over My Hammies every morning, Paul bega

Against all critical expectation, the band's debut album proved to be the true spiritual follow-up to Sgt. Peppers' Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Entitled Sgt. Pepper Replaced The Whole Band With Scabs, the record was packaged inside a piece of human shit and t

The problem as I see it is this: Paul used up his entire jar of Elbow Grease on Ram and, rather than waiting for another shipment to come in, replaced it with marijuana. The result is one of the laziest collections of songwriting in Popular Musicals History. Of the eight compositions, one is a Mickey & Sylvia cover, one is an actual complete *song*, and the other 6 start, continue, continue continuing, and eventually end, having progressed nowhere in the 4-6 minutes they were given life here on planet Earth. He reportedly was going for a 'raw, spontaneous' feel, but apparently was too baked to actually do anything raw or spontaneous. So we get a bunch of half-written disappointments. "No no, Paul," a producer should've instructed, "You write songs, not just urinate them."

The album's reeking contents include:

COMPLETE STONED NONSENSE - "Mumbo" and "Bip Bop," the first two songs, make it immediately clear that you're not about to enjoy a very good record. The former is a dumb fun rock and roller based around two bass notes and lyrical jibberish, the latter a playful 12-bar country-rocker undermined by not only a WaCkY vocal delivery but indeed more lyrical jibberish (Second verse: "Wip wop, wim and wop, wip wop, wim and wam, Wip wop, wim and wop, wip wop, wim and wam, try to hide your handbag underneath the stand, and you go wip wop, wim and wop, wip wop, wim and wam. Put your hair in curlers, we're going to see a band, bip bop, bim bam bop, bip bop, bip bop, bam.") Both songs are about 700 minutes long and have one part.

SONGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT - "Wild Life" and "Dear Friend" both feature excellent, tense minor-key dark riffs - the former guitar, latter piano - that are repeated over and over and over and fucking OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER, WHAT WITH NOBODY HAVING BOTHERED TO WRITE A SECOND PART. "Dear Friend" in particular could've been as powerful a message to John Lennon as "How Do You Sleep" was to Paul; unfortunately Paul only wrote one verse, and was clearly more concerned about making it rhyme than making any kind of sensical statement ("Dear friend, what's the time?/Is this really the borderline?/Does it really mean so much to you?/Are you afraid, or is it true?/Dear friend, throw the wine/I’m in love with a friend of mine/Really truly, young and newly wed/Are you a fool, or is it true?" THAT'S EVERY SINGLE LYRIC HE WROTE FOR THE 6 1/2 MINUTE SONG). Each of these tracks rules for about 1 minute, then continues for another 8000.

GODAWFUL CUTESY SWEET SUGARY LOVE SONGS FOR HIS WIFE - Hey, I understand loving your wife as much as the next guy, but "I Am Your Singer" and "Tomorrow" are, objectively speaking, the worst songs ever written in the History of Breathing. Look at this lyric -- "Some day when we're singing/we will fly away, going winging." LOOK AT IT. Now ponder this: the accompanying melody is even more vomitous. I honestly have no problem with happy-go-lucky Paulisms like "Penny Lane" and "Hello Goodbye," but these two are like somebody pureed a bunch of candy valentines in a blender and hired a painter to put a few coats on your tongue.

THE OTHER TWO - "Love Is Strange" is a passable soul/reggae cover of a 1957 hit, and "Some People Never Know" proves once and for all that Paul really was the experimental Beatle. Sure, it's just melodic relaxed pop-rock, but get this -- it has three different parts. BAMM!!!! Cover your eyes! The glass ceiling is shattering all around us!

I kid Wild Life, but let's be honest -- isn't Paul "The Cute Beatle" McCartney entitled to release a sloppy, effortless album every once in a while? I mean, this is the man who gave us "Hey Jude" and "Helter Skelter" and "Back In The USSR." It's not like he's showing his dick on the cover and letting his wife screech for 45 minutes, or writing 500 boring soft rock songs about Hare Krishna, or releasing a Ringo Starr album; he's just having fun! Let the guy have his fun! It doesn't mean you have to listen to it, for Pete's sake. You think I sit around and listen to Ecco Cor Meum for shits and grins? You think ANYBODY does? Hell no. So let Paul have his Choba E CCCP and his Run Devil Run. How does it affect you if he puts out a Liverpool Oratorio or Standing Stone every once in a while? Let him go ahead and pursue his little Fireman and Twin Freaks projects - who does it hurt? There's no law that says you need to listen to Liverpool Sound Collage or Working Classical. Just don't pay any attention when he de

Actually, has the guy ever released anything good at all!?

Reader Comments

farceswannamo@gmail.com
"It's not like he's showing his dick on the cover and letting his wife screech for 45 minutes, or writing 500 boring soft rock songs about Hare Krishna, or releasing a Ringo Starr album; he's just having fun!"

This is a gr8 line. Quintessentially Prindle. The week is always marginally better when there are some Prindle reviews to read on the weekend.

mabewa@yahoo.com
You pretty much diagnosed the problem with this album correctly: McCartney forgot to write songs. And when he did write songs, he wrote one decent part and then repeated them endlessly, because he forgot to finish them. What a lazyass album. What annoys me about this record is that McCartney had his head so far up his ass that he thought "Hey, I wanna get back to being in a band, and we can just play and be spontaneous and have fun and everybody will love us!" These might have been some fun home demos to entertain the family, but putting it on the market was pretty lame, because people actually ended up paying money for this bullshit. They shoulda put a warning label on it: "lazy rich hippies messing around in the studio, no songs included." Score: 2.

Taylor Allison
Eh, I agree, for the most part. I have to say that I think Tomorrow is one of the most sincere, innocent little ditties the man ever wrote, and I wouldn't dare mark him down for that, but Bip Bop and especially Mumbo just sort of piss me off for awhile, until they're over. Some People Never Know has some beautiful parts, but can't sustain itself for it's running length either. Not a bad album, but I have to ask why Paul made it so quickly - it hadn't been too long since he recorded Ram. It has it's good and bad moments - I'd give it a 8, based on the melodic ideas present in some songs, but then I'd probably get annoyed at the spontaneity and knock it down a point or two.

jcjh20@hotmail.com
Whoa, didn't expect you to finally review Wings after all these years! I just came off of a huge Paul Mccartney/Wings phase so it's a nice treat for me to see a classic Prindle review like this about one of the best bands/solo artists in rock history. I'd give this one a 5, maybe a 6 on some days depending on whether I am more tolerant of Paul's obnoxious tomfoolery on this album. I really have to disagree with you about "Tomorrow" though, which I see as the best song on the album, without question, although "Some People Never Know" is definitely up with it. There's lots of hooks and melody, there's beautiful singing, and there's other parts like a chorus and song structure unlike most of the other songs. It remains one of my favorites solo Paul songs. "I Am Your Singer" is incredibly cutesy and moronic, but like 60's bubblegum, the catchiness outshines the cheese factor for me. It is a little bit like early Beach Boys too. I also like "Dear Friend". It is long and repetitive, but it was an outtake from the Ram sessions, so it has that same great production value. No point for the rest to exist though, yes including "Love Is Strange". That organ part in "Mumbo" is pretty cool, but it's just a moronic, pointless song, "Bip Bop" should have only been 40 seconds long and it ends up being 40 years long, and "Wild Life", though its potential notwithstanding, is a very boring and laborous song. Paul had a tendancy to fuck around a lot (the debut and Mccartney II show this) so of course it's easy to just ignore how mediocre this album is. Disappointing after the great Ram, but at least better things came after.

jjunea2@lsu.edu
Mark,

I like this album. The music is laidback to be sure, but it’s still melodic. The music is a strange cross between Beatles, Zerfas, and ELO, without any cellos. Being a fan of most hippie music and having listening to many an aimless jam, McCartney’s songs here are very easy on the ear. I think he was experimenting and overall I like the result.

At any rate, thanks for reviewing Wings.

Ben
First and foremost, thank you for actually recognizing that Wings is not the same artist as Paul McCartney, but a different band in it's own right.

This album always struck me as boring, mainly because the songs are either half finished or drag on way too long. The only song I would go back to from this album is "Love is Strange," but if that were released on a better album, it wouldn't stand out as much. Yeah, I'd say a 4 is the perfect rating for this album, nothing really sticks out, and even if it's Wings, it sounds like a bunch of lake outtakes from "Ram," and therefore sounds more like solo Paul rather than a Wings album.

Yoko Ono may have turned John Lennon into a heroin addict, but what Linda Eastman did to Beatle Paul was far worse: she turned him into a gigantic snuggly ball of sugary goo. And sure, he was never exactly Bob Muscular Asskicker to begin with, but his love for this bipedal blonde led him to write some of the most sickeningly sweet soft mushy dippy songs this world has ever known.

Take this album for example, since I'm writing about this album now. It begins with "Big Barn Bed," a great funky melodic tune first hinted at on Ram ("Who's that comin' 'round that corner?"), and you're all like, "Dude! He's back! Playin' those manly hits like yesteryear!" And then the song ends and he immediately turns into a basket of flowers and cotton candy for the duration of the album. In the past perhaps I would have used the word 'faggoty-ass' to describe the ball-less love notes he rests on the pillow beside us for the next 40 minutes, but that would be an insult to the homosexual community. You see, NO GAY PERSON HAS EVER MADE MUSIC THIS 'FAGGOTY-ASS.'

You know what? Let's blame it on second guitarist Henry McCullough, who joined Wings for this album and quit immediately afterwards. Surely he could have kicked out the jams and turned "My Love (Does It Good, Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa)" into a screaming metallic assault on the senses. Or whipped the band into a maniacal bloodlust frenzy of take-no-prisoners grindcore during "Little Lamb Dragonfly." But no - he just let Paul McCartney stomp (with cotton-padded fluff-shoes) all over his hard rock dreams. Goddamn you, Henry McCullough. Except that you're named "Henry," which is also the name of the Greatest Dog In The World.

With the notable exceptions of "Big Barn Red" and a paralyzingly misguided Pink Floyd rip-off called "1st Indian On The Moon," this album is composed of schmaltz: happy hokey passages, ballady moods, lots of heartwarming piano, and unconditional love for Linda McCartney. Even the songs that start off dark and forboding ("Get On The Right Thing," "Single Pigeon" and "When The Night") all give up and turn into cheery annoying la-de-da smile-gum in time for the chorus. And Christ almighty Lord on high, don't even get me started on the "Medley."

Too late, you got me started on the "Medley." Hey! Remember the world-famous "Medley" on side two of The Beatles' Abbey Road LP? Well, the "Medley" is BACK!!! Only, this time, it's composed of four mediocre love songs! Yes, Paul apparently realized that "Hold Me Tight," "Lazy Dynamite," "Hands of Love" and "Power Cut" weren't compelling enough to serve as standalone tracks, yet was unwilling to just throw them the hell away like they deserved. And WTF - did he just FORGET that he'd already written a song called "Hold Me Tight" like eight years earlier!? I guess that's what dope and fatherhood will do to you.

"So why a 5 rather than a 1 or 2," you're wondering, "if the only song you like is 'Big Barn Bed,' you asshole?" Well, here's the thing, see. Those three songs that 'start off dark and forboding' could've been full-blown excellent compositions had he kept his mind on the music instead of the snuggling. Even so, they still have great 'dark and forboding' passages (or at least as dark and forboding as Paul McCartney is going to get). Secondly, "Only One More Kiss" is a light bouncy piece of old-timey music that for some reason greatly appeals to me; it makes me think of men with handlebar mustaches riding around on bicycles with a gigantic front wheel. And finally (sigh), it kills me to admit this, but for some reason... I..... (sigh, again)....

I like "My Love (Does It Good, Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa)."

I DON'T KNOW WHY, OKAY? I'M NOT PROUD OF IT! For the longest time, I thought I only liked it ironically -- that it was so aggressively boring and corny that I loved it in a 'so bad it's good' way. But recently I realized that "The Long And Winding Road" is every bit as aggressively boring yet I've always loathed that one. And, quite frankly, this entire ALBUM is as corny as "My Love (Does It Good, Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa)," yet this is its only song that I often get stuck in my head - and don't mind having there.

So it's official. I'm gay. Toss me some penis, Bill!

Hmm. Somehow I'm not finding this penis as attractive as I naturally thought I would based on my preference for "My Love (Does It Good, Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa)."

I don't understand it. I made the decision to be gay. Why isn't this hairy-chested man turning on my boner?

WAIT A MINUTE! Could it be... that you can't actually choose to be gay!? That, that all these religious crusaders and homophobes are wrong, and homosexuality is an ingrained preference that you're BORN into!?!?

NO! I JUST HAVE TO TRY HARDER! NNNNNNNNNNN (*still fails to get boner, even while licking sexy ballsac*)

Taylor Allison
Ok Mark, I won't let you get away with this one. It's hard to say between this and Ram, but I think this is the peak of Macca's solo stuff (ignoring the fact that he was in Wings... well, no one else really mattered that much, besides Linda and maybe Denny). To me, it's also the peak of McCartney's entire career, including the Beatles. And it might be that I have a weakness for these lovefests that he put out, but they speak to me on a more personal level than anything Lennon or especially Harrison ever did (at least solo). The album just fits together so well as a whole. I agree on "Big Barn Bed" and "One More Kiss", but nothing is as moving as "Little Lamb Dragonfly" - Starostin got it right when he described the "la la las" in the chorus as a return to the majesty and beauty of the Beatle days. Somehow, the song doesn't fall apart - it's just beautiful.

I won't go into "My Love", because it's the only possible weakling on the record. Everything else, including "Loup" and the medley are top notch. In fact, if "My Love" had been switched out with "I Lie Around", a b side from the period, as well as Denny's finest vocal moment, the album would be perfect. It'd get a 10, and I'd put it up there with Revolver and the White Album and all that stuff. As such, I would still give it a 10, but Ram would give it a run for its money. A virtually perfect album though (and I don't feel it's gay to say so).

jcjh20@hotmail.com
Ahh... Well, I like this album a hell of a lot more than you. In fact, I think it is one of the best Wings albums, and better than Venus & Mars. It's just so damn catchy and fun with songs that stick in your head for days, and have great little subtle parts that are so charming, yet sound so simple. I for one am very addicted to the "Medley". Each part is a song that is just catchier than the next. I guess I am immune to cheesy lyrics and repetitive singing, because I always get the song parts in this stuck in my head. What about "Baby I love you so, Be I love you so"? Those lyrics are horrible yes, but it's hard to shake the infectiousness of those melodies. "Single Pigeon", "When The Night", "One More Kiss" and "Little Lamb Dragonfly" are all God damn beautiful, and "Big Barn Bed" just plain rules. To me, the only lackluster song is the instrumental. Though I share your guilty pleasure for "My Love", "C Moon" should have been a bigger hit single.

ruslash@gmail.com
Hey Mark

Nothing extraordinary here but it's all nicely written little okayish pop songs
(except this horrendously outta place instrumental track with a stupid name (two names in fact) which bores the living soul outta me

Big Barn Bed is a fantastic opener Get On The Right Thing One More Kiss and When The Night are good Mc Cartney songs if you know what I mean Dragonfly has its interesing moments like those nice Beatlesque guitar bits in a couple of places and I really like Single Pigeon with its unobtrusive Englishness and that great brass section Medley's alright with me too

But better than them all by far My Love's the real ticket here and it's so good it could have been on any of the Beatles album as well

I agree with you Mark it's defo not macho to like songs like that one
but when you do only a few of them not macho things like for example writing music reviews or writing to a guy who writes music reviews that's okay I guess so I like it
stop! and I also shave my armpits! Don't tell anybody
(but I Like Girls) not in that Ron Mael's gay voice I sing it but in Alice Cooper's proud i-fucked-hundreds-of-them-sluts voice! So fuck macho things then !
(no offence meant to Mr.Mael, sluts, macho guys or gay people)

Ben
Well, it's better than "Wild Life," but then again, lot of albums are better than "Wild Life," so what makes this album any special?

The medley, I am not really surprised that you would give a negative review to it, but I think it's not only the best part of the album, but one of the most overlooked pieces of music Paul ever came up with. Sure, it doesn't match up to the Abbey Road medley, and "Hold Me Tight" #2 isn't as good as "Hold Me Tight" #1, but it's still great.

The other songs on the album are pretty catchy but dong really do much for me. "Big Barn Bed" sounds a lot like "Bip Bop" and is only memorable for that bassline. "My Love" is pretty good, but it sounds more like a Stevie Wonder song. "Little Lamb Dragonfly" starts off sounding pretty gay, but it ends up being a good song, and I really like "Get on the Right Thing." The only song I don't like is "Loup" which sounds indeed like a crappy Pink Floyd ripoff.

I was born in 1973, so in many ways I'd like to take credit for this album. I don't even care that they didn't name it Band On My Buns or Band Has The Runs like I suggested. All that matters is that this wonderful record is every bit as melodic, diverse, consistent and exciting as a Beatles album -- yet Paul did it all by himself! Most people thought he'd never make another great album without the help of his Beatles songwriting partner, but even without Stu Sutcliffe Paul's talent shines through like the sun through a magnifying glass onto an ant. Shine on, Wing Paul!

After Red Rose Speedway gently rocked the nation with its puffy sugarcone confections, Henry McCullough and Denny Seiwell tendered their resignations, leaving Paul, Linda and Denny "Penny" Laine "Lane" high and dry on the eve of a major recording session. The remaining trio thus took off for Nigeria to record timeless rock classics like "Band On The Run," "Jet" and "Helen Wheels," while McCullough and Seiwell stayed home and did some cleaning up around the house. Of this period, Seiwell has been quoted as saying, "Oops."

Band On The Run is a rock album. Not a HARD rock album, but a true rock album -- the first that Wings had delivered. But its commercial success wasn't merely the result of old Beatles fans' low expectations being exceeded (as happened when REM released Accelerate after three boring softies, and critics unanimously declared it "The Best Rock Album Ever Recorded By Anybody Ever"). Band On The Run is indeed a superlative, jaw-droppingly melodic record. I don't know what drugs Paul stopped taking when he was writing these tunes, but they did the trick!

Leaving behind the half-assed chicanery of Wild Life and squishy lovemaking of Red Rose Speedway, Band On The Run presents ten fully-developed and delightfully hooky songs covering the full range of Mr. McCartney's musical interests and influences. From the anthemic guitar ballad "No Words" to the Lennony '50s blues "Let Me Roll It," from the tough piano drama "Nineteen Hundred And Eighty-Five" to the acoustic pop-rock title track, from the Latin bongo singalong "Mamunia" to the romantic jazz-folk "Bluebird," from the Russian-marching pop stomp "Mrs. Vanderbilt" to the multi-part novelty "Picasso's Last Words," and from the great fuzzy rocker "Jet" to the other great fuzzy rocker "Helen Wheels," Band On The Run has ten songs, all of which I just described. Thank you for reading my in-depth critical evaluation of The Wingles' 1973 LP, Band Fucked A Nun.

No but seriously, this isn't one of those cases where I can go, "Hey, this is a revolutionary record and let me tell you why." It's not revolutionary -- it's just really, really good. And by "good," I mean that it features great energy, confident musical performances, creative vocal melodies, strong singing (with lots of harmonies), and thoughtful arrangements filled not only with interesting guitar overdubs but also saxophone solos, orchestration, weirdly-toned synths and exotic percussion accompaniment. There is exactly one piece of music I don't like -- the verse of "Mamunia" is as schmaltzy as anything on Red Rose Speedway -- but everything else is a gasser hoot! Actually, playful hata's probably won't find much of interest in the goofy "Picasso's Last Words" either, but it's not like it comes out of nowhere (see "Maxwell's Silver Hammer," "Why Don't We Do It In The Road," "Bip Bop," "Mumbo," "Admiral Halsey," "Smile Away," several thousand other ridiculous Paul McCartney songs).

And hey, great work Denny Laine! You TOTALLY co-wrote "No Words"!

Speaking of "No Words," what's with all the words in "No Words"? What the hell kind of misleading title is that? Fuck you, Denny Laine!!! More like "Denny LIARne," if you ask me!!!!

Oh, one other thing: Paul totally stole the "1985" piano riff from the Rolling Stones' "We Love You," but (in my opinion) improved it at least five-fold by slowing it down to a nice dancey disco-beat. So the next time Classmates.com asks you "Beatles or Stones?," be sure and tell them "Are you fucking retarded? It's 2008."

Reader Comments

mabewa@yahoo.com
Compared to other Wings or McCartney albums, this one is an easy 10. Judged on its own merits... well, it's a fairly strong 9, and easily one of the top Beatles solo albums. In fact, despite Laine's songwriting participation, I would argue that it's more of a McCartney solo record than a Wings record, just because with no lead guitarist or drummer, you get McCartney playing, in addition to bass, most of the drums, lead guitar and any remotely difficult or complex parts. So, I suspect that most of the instruments are played by McCartney. But, anyway, the thing about this record that makes it good is that it's incredibly consistent, engaging, and varied--every song is different from the last, but it still holds together really nicely as a record. Why in the hell couldn't McCartney make more records like this? The only thing that would stop me from giving this a ten is that while all the songs are excellent, few are truly great--I would vote for the title track, Jet, and Let Me Roll It as great songs, and the rest as good. But, hey, that's pretty much like Sgt. Peppers, right, and this album is actually more consistent than that, even if it doesn't have anything nearly as awesome as "A Day in the Life." So, yeah, strong 9.

Taylor Allison
Another good one from Paul/Wings - after a slow start, they've really hit their stride here. The Red Rose Speedway formula is trashed, and while it was, in my humble opinion, a great formula, Band on the Run is no slouch either. It rocks, it grooves, it blows your sister, and all of it is very professional. The classics here are "Let Me Roll It", which I've never really seen as Lennonish but apparently is, according to everyone else; "Bluebird", which is so smooth, fun and jazzy, I see it as a better sequel to "Blackbird"; and of course the classic title track and "Jet", both first class rockers. I agree that "Mamunia" is a weak spot - I've never been one for "world" music, especially when it seems kind of fake, like this (even though they were in Nigeria... maybe I should give it more credit). For some reason, I don't dig "No Words" much either. I'd give this one a high 8, maybe a 9 on a good day.

jcjh20@hotmail.com
I find this album a little bit overrated, though weird thing is, it isn't my favorite Wings album and I usually prefer other Wings/Paul Mccartney solo albums over it, but I can see it as the best overall Wings album in terms of quality and consistency. I just wish every song on here was as great and timeless as "Helen Wheels", "Jet", the title track and "1985". "Bluebird" comes the closest, with that really nice, lazy bossanova feel and full harmonies. I've never cared at all for "No Words" and "Picasso's Last Words". The story that goes along with the latter, about how Paul quickly wrote a song on the spot for Dustin Hoffman one day, is actually more interesting than the actual song. "Mrs Vanderbilt" and "Let Me Roll It" are both good too though. And the whimsy of "Mamunia" takes awhile to get into but was ultimately very enduring to me eventually. It really clicked one day when I was taking a bus up to upstate NY in the middle of winter and with all the snowy hills it just seemed to fit nicely.

Ben
Glad to see you like this album, even though I think a 10 is a little too drastic, I go for a 9 myself.

This is a BIG improvement over not just anything Wings did, but also those two Paul albums. "Wild Life" was just boring and "Red Rose Speedway" was a little too poppy for me (even if it does have flashes of brilliance). This album made it all the way through and every song ranges from good to great. The 2010 reissue includes a bonus disc featuring a couple of tracks from the one hand clapping documentary "One Hand Clapping," and a couple of them (especially that version of "Jet") sound better than the studio versions. This is not only the best Wings album, but the best album Paul did after the Beatles.

That reminds me of a little joke: What were Linda McCartney's two great loves in life?

Penis and Cars! Heh heh heh yeaaaah that didn't make any sense.

With guitarist Jimmy McCulloch (no relation) and drummer Joe English fattening the band to a five-piece again, Venus And Mars attempts to follow up on the "Rock + Diverse Influences" pattern established by Band On The Run. Unfortunately, its run-of-the-mill rockers are much less hooky this time, and one of the chosen 'diverse influences' is (alas) schmaltz. Actually, perhaps I should define "schmaltz" for those of you unfamiliar with this wonderful Yiddish term. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, 'schmaltz' is defined as:

Push-ups every morning - TEN TIMES! Not just now and then! Give that chicken fat back to the chicken and don't be chicken again! NO! Don't be chicken again!

Good old Paul McCartney and his Presidential Fitness Program. Without it, Americans would be overweight like the Japanese! Instead, we're thin and svelte like the Water Buffalo.

I guess Paul and Linda were feelin' kinda 'HORNY' (!) when they recorded this album, because it's full to bustin' with trumpets and saxophones! Also, they kept fucking in the studio.

I am absolutely sub-exhausted from three consecutive nights of Tae Kwon Do training, not to mention staying up too late last night watching Calvaire and dicking around on FaceBook (oh, I'm on Facebook now - say hello). So please excuse me if I keep veering off-topic, or staying on-topic. As I said, the diversity is definitely still here, with Paul McCartney's Winger attacking such musical styles as psychedelic rock and roll, glam rock (both the crunchy Sweet variety and the Queen camp type), art-folk, blistering blues-rock, Tin Pan Alley, smooth jazz-pop, '50s doowop, and even a soap opera theme song! What's missing is the consistency of the songwriting. Though Paul definitely crafts some memorable melodies here (ex. the gentle "Love In Song" is much darker and more emotional than its lyrics would suggest, and megaphone-crooned Tin Panner "You Gave Me The Answer" is ADORABLE!), he just as often seems content to fall back on pre-established stylistic tropes.

Take the far-too-long (5:31) "Rock Show," for example. It sounds as if Paul decided "I'm going to play a rock song now" and just kept the very first thing he played. The mood is certainly rockin' in that early '70s decadent way, but there's no hook to be found. It's certainly a spirited song, with its cool pedal steel guitar, cowbell, congas, falsetto vocals and such, but aside from a striking chime-based bridge, the actual tune is a complete toss-aside. Now transfer that musical outlook to '50s doowop and you get "Call Me Back Again." To piano balladry and you get "Treat Her Gently/Lonely Old People." Even "Spirits of Ancient Egypt," for all its psych backward guitars and sci-fi beeps, is still just a standard rock song with very few melodic features. Granted, it's "Hey Jude" compared to Jimmy McCulloch's utterly faceless "Medicine Jar," but this is Paul MelodicCartney we're talking about here. If we can't count on Paul "Ramon" McCartney to bring in the hooks, who CAN we count on?

Poco, of course. But aside from Poco, nobody at all!!!!!!!!! Especially Poco.

But me and Poco, we joke each other around like that. That's just part of being in the music business. I remember this one time I was snorting coke with Nazareth, and Jim Messina comes in and starts licking the floor all around the table. Pete Agnew's all like "What's with this guy?" and I says "Aww man, he's just pickin' up the pieces." I guess ol' Messy (as we called him because his last name was 'Messina,' and he suffered from loose bowel syndrome) was taking notes because the next thing you know Poco's got a hit album and Randy Meisner's adding 'BJ solo' to the set list. God I miss those wild rock n roll days.

But don't worry - it has some good songs too! The singles "Listen To What The Man Said" and "Letting Go" (something something something).

In conclusion, Venus And Mars is probably more style than substance, but sometimes style is enough. Particularly when you have a singing voice as great as Paul McCartney's. Have you heard that guy's voice? It's like the entire world put its hearts together and created a baby called "Love."

Then that baby grew up and sued its former bandmates like an asshole.

By the way, for a good laugh check out Wikipedia's song descriptions for this record, which seem to have been written by a 9-year-old. Actually, let me just GIVE you the best excerpts, so you don't have to leave this terrific Internet Destination for that poor home page:

You Gave Me The Answer - "Paul's vocals on the song are very treated. It
sounds a bit as if he was on the telephone with a friend."

Magneto & Titanium Man - "It was Paul McCartney's attempt to branch out
musically, and is the only song where Paul uses comic book characters as
subjects in the song. The first two characters mentioned in the song are
Magneto and Titanium Man, hence the title's name, "Magneto and Titanium
Man". However, there are two more characters not mentioned in the title.
The first is the Crimson Dynamo and an unknown female character."

Letting Go - "'Letting Go' is about a man, Paul McCartney, who has found
a talented singer, and wants to publicise her to the world, and make her
internationally known."

Call Me Back Again - "It was performed throughout their world tours in
Australia and America, and to this day, many people still enjoy
listening to it."

Good old Wikipedia, and the way they deleted the "Mark Prindle" page after three years because I'm not noteworthy enough.

Reader Comments

Zander0202@aol.com
Yeahhhh definitely agree about Wikipedia. Love all the shit they have on there, but Wikipedia is also pretty much just an elitist site that for some reason doesn't take too kindly to me editing the administrator's profile pages to read "FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU". Eh.

My favorite Venus and Mars song description?

Venus and Mars/Rock Show:"Venus and Mars" also has a reprise that appears on the Venus and Mars album, which serves to open the B-side of the LP record. In the reprise, we find out that Paul McCartney pronounces the letter "Z" as "zed" instead of the Americanized "zee".
By the way, Encyclopedia Dramatica still has a page on you, Mark..

jonathan_223@hotmail.com
i picked up a copy of this record out of a box of discarded records my neighbor put out by his garage. the box sat there rotting and i assumed the records were shit...the one record facing out was, you guessed it, venus and mars, and the only other jacket i recognized was neil diamonds hot august night or whatever. anyways, i did end up finding some choice shit when i finally dragged the box inside- sparks first record, some coltrane, shuggy otis' first records and motherfucking pac man fever. anyways, venus and mars is partially to blame for some of the trane being warped cuz i figured it was a big box of silly love songs and barry manilow and shit but blah blah blah venus and mars was stuck to some live marvin gaye record and i listened to both records. the only thing i remember about the wings record is some ditty about magneto from x-men. the marvin gaye live record wasn't half bad...it was all bad. except for let's get it on. even with a bunch of coked out harpys wailing for marvin's cock over the music it still makes my manlips moisten. sparks first record, on the other hand, REALLY IS new wave...but in the early seventies. fuggin weird. why didn't lester bangs dig sparks? well, i know why, but still. lester was a cool cat, but he was dead wrong about sparks, and now he's just dead. i have a feeling that he would have come around some day. or not. if lester bangs were alive today he would probably be listening to better shit than we could ever fathom. or writing liner notes to special anniversary reissues of alice cooper and slade reissues in poverty and obscurity in his mom's basement while president jann wenner and vice president robert christgau make it mandatory that all young boys become castrati and sing coldplay and u2 songs in lieu of phys ed. another record i found in the box was a compilation of the move- california man. doesn't do all that much for me on the whole, but goddam "do ya" is a toe-tapper. best cowbell in a song? nah. in conclusion, venus and mars ruined a lot of bomb coltrane, kinda. 1/10

mabewa@yahoo.com
I heard that McCartney deliberately recorded this album to promote during his subsequent huge tour. So, it was supposed to be all "rocking" and "dynamic." There are some cool songs, and the melodies are pretty consistent, but a lot of it also sounds kinda hollow. Especially "Rock Show," that song really sounds contrived, like McCartney was trying to remember how to rock out--fat chance! I pretty much agree with you that most of the songs sounds like some kind of generic genre things, but luckily many of them are reasonably well done. I actually like Spirits of Ancient Egypt and Medicine Jar--it's nice to have a break from McCartney's voice, and both songs are kinda weird in a way that contrasts nicely from McCartney's sappiness. Too bad McCullough couldn't take his own advice about drugs--if I remember right, he ended up dying of an overdose. "Dead on your feet, you won't get far" indeed. It's either a weak 7 or a strong 6.

jcjh20@hotmail.com
You were pretty spot on on your review of this one. A good record with some really good songs, but also a bunch of generic ones. There's a few on here, "Call Me Back Again" in particular, which really scream out "I think I'll do a (insert genre here) type of song", which ruins it for me. It is especially obvious because there is a demo tape out there of Paul singing some of these songs on a piano at home and they sound much more of what they should have remained on the record. "Call Me Back Again" and "Letting Go" were both beautiful emotional ballads in the same vein as "Love In Song". "Treat Her Gently" had a more more unrestrained vocal, with much more feeling to it. On this album, it becomes sounding kind of lazy and lifeless despite being a good song. On the other hand, I think "Rock Show" is pretty great, but I wish they put more emphasis on those main verses and choruses, because they're catchy as hell. The other parts are fun, but incredibly goofy, though I guess it was supposed to be a parody of glam rock songs. "Listen To What The Man Said" is very melodic and deserved its number 1 hit status, "You Gave Me The Answer" is another one of those great "20's songs" similar to "Honey Pie" and "When I'm 64", and "Magneto and Titanium Man" is probably the most fun song on the album besides "Rock Show". So a 7 sounds good. Oh yeah, "Spirits Of Ancient Egypt" and "Medicine Jar". I always forget those even exist.

Benjamin Burch
Getting a little self indulgent here, and not even good self indulgence like "Band on the Run." That stupid ragtime song "You Gave Me the Answer" is by far the worst offender, and I also hate "Listen to What the Man Said" (even if the ending is pretty cool) and "Spirits of Ancient Egypt" (Denny Lainey should have never been allowed to sing...)

The rest of the album is pretty good, even if it is a step down from the previous album. "Venus and Mars/Rock Show" is enjoyable, even if it sounds better on "Wings Over America." The last three songs are good too, and the rest of the album is okay, but generally unimpressive.

There are many reasons why a popular artist might release an album that even his biggest fan simply cannae get into or summat, innit. These include:
(A) The artist has recently been listening to (and thus, been influenced by) music in which the fan has no interest.
(B) The artist is going through writer's block and years later will look back at the album with disgust.
(C) The artist is so stoned that he thinks he's crafting great music when he's really writing "She's My Baby."

Wings At The Speed Of Sound marks the first time that Wings has retained a single line-up over two consecutive records, but don't let that fool you -- this sounds nothing like Venus And Mars. Instead, it's a grotesquely soft and cutesy record featuring Paul McCartney's lead vocals on only six of 11 songs. Sure this makes perfect sense because when people put on a Paul McCartney album what they really want to hear is Joe English but it's still an odd decision for Macca (or "Paul McCartney") to make considering he wrote almost every song on here.

One thing I must give him credit for though -- once again, he really works to keep the album as diverse as possibule. In a mere 40 minutes, he taps the ass of such disparate influences as Stevie Wonder, Steely Dan, barrelhouse r'n'b, mid-70s AOR, sissy-pop, '60s soul, vomitous sensitive singer-songwriter fare, children's lullabyes and even saucy New Orleans Jazz! Unfortunately, most of the songs aren't very good at all.

The hits were "Silly Love Songs," an inexcusably lengthy, fey and repetitive piece of sickening bubblegum poop; and "Let 'Em In," a laidback piano tune so lackadaisical and lopey-dopey that I should be ashamed of myself for loving the goddamned fuck out of it. Here, look:

"Someone's knockin' at the door
Somebody's ringin' the bell
Someone's knockin' at the door
Somebody's ringin' the bell
Do me a favor
Open the door
Let 'em in"

There you have it -- a songwriter so lazy he can't even write himself answering the door. Why do I love it so? Is it the rat-a-tat military drumming? The tooty-toot flute? The fact that I fill my ears with liquid shit every morning to keep the horseflies away? Whichever the case, "Let 'Em In" is not only the most Downs Syndromey song ever written; it's also the greatest song on this album.

WATSOS features lots of horns, pianos, acoustic guitars and flaccid '70s keyboards, as well as recorded proof that neither Denny "Time To Hide" Laine nor Jimmy "Wino Junko" McCulloch were capable of penning even one decent song. And here's something interesting: not only is the chord sequence of Denny's "Time To Hide" disconcertingly similar to that of "You Keep Me Hangin' On," but the chorus of Paul's "Beware My Love" features a back-up 'oo-oo-oo-oo' vocal stolen directly from "You Keep Me Hangin' On"! So good work, Wings, on ripping off "You Keep Me Hangin' On" in two different songs on the same album.

Naysayers may complain about Linda McCartney's lead vocal showcase "Cook Of The House," but none other than Pink Floyd's legendary Roger Waters has been quoted as saying, "That 'sizzly egg' sound effect at the beginning - could I borrow that?"

And let me ask you something else, while I'm just ripping words out of my fingers and stuffin' 'em in your mailbox: isnt it interesting that Paul McCartney's dark Stevie Wonder-influenced ballad "The Note You Never Wrote" is easily the most emotionally resonant song on the record, yet his light Stevie Wonder-influenced soul shot "She's My Baby" is so offensively gaseous that it singlehandedly caused 9/11?

In short, the album's stylistic diversity makes for a fun and unpredictable listen, but the individual melodies really aren't among Paul's finest. Seriously, what can you say about an album with not one but TWO songs that appeal to me solely because they are so hilariously, disgustingly sissyish? "Silly Love Songs" is bad enough, but Christ -- wait til you hear Joe English singing Paul's "I Must Do Something About It." Imagine Billy Joel and James Taylor getting together for a Writer's Session Workshop, and you're still only getting a minor sense of the ear-gouging stinky sock audio-stench of this brutally effeminate ode to taking it easy, perhaps on a sailboat. This song is literally so bad that it crashes through the bottom of the 'good to bad' thermometer, tunnels all the way through the earth, circles the entire galaxy, returns to the top of the 'good to bad' thermometer, and goes back down to 'bad.'

Yes, Paul certainly didn't have on his Rock And Roll Hat the day he entered Terrible Record Studios and laid down this piece of mediocre fairy dung for the ages. But look at the bright side -- you're not listening to it right now.

Here's something interesting though -- You know how John Lennon supposedly hid a dog whistle somewhere on side two of Sgt. Peppers'? Well, rumor has it that somewhere on side two of this record, Paul hid a decent song.

I know! I've had no luck either! Maybe under the label?

Reader Comments

thenarcissusnarcosis@hotmail.com
re: let 'em in

um, it's most definitly a piccolo not a flute.
and i fucking HATE that song. you should be ashamed of liking it!
of course, i mostly hate it because it reminds me of the summer i worked 3rd shift at price chopper stocking shelves. it would come on every night on the radio station that some ass hat insisted we listen to.
=D

jcjh20@hotmail.com
Plays like a God damn hits compilation to me! I love every damn song on here, even the incredibly dumb ("Let Em In", "Cook Of The House"). "Silly Love Songs" is one of the best incredibly dumb pop songs ever. That song just HAD to exist. Paul just HAD to write about how it's fun to write goofy, faggoty love songs. "Warm And Beautiful" is a great ballad that kind of reminds me of the Zombies "A Rose For Emily". I can tell it's Brian Wilson influenced. I love "She's My Baby" too. Even Paul's vocals sound just like Stevie's. A few of the non-Paul sung "Must Do Something About It" and "Wino Junko" are excellent too (the other 2 are just okay). Very underrated Wings album, I guess.

ruslash@gmail.com
No Speed No Sound is a very democratic album some sorta fucking singing fest with no good singers participating

But except Linda's song, of course, and The Note You Never Wrote with truly hideous vocal delivery everything else here is quite listenable
I like Wino Junko and Time To Hide to bits they're the best songs for me here

And for all its stupidity Let'Em In is a VERY catchy song
once I had to walk home late at night totally stoned and it was like about 40 minutes and all the time I never stopped singing the first verse and it played in my head all night and the next morning and then I had fucking flashbacks for a week or so just because I'd just heard it only once playing somewhere that night

Silly Love Songs? Oh I like the guy's above words that that's a kinda song that just has to be there whether you want it or not

Horrible back cover. It looks like a contest for the ugliest face the Wings can make
where you just can't pick the winner 'cos they're all plug-ugly

dave@happydrifter.com
Like gravy – down to the last drop! I keep moppin’ it up, moppin’ it up, yeah! She’s my baby.

Ben
An album with this name better be damn good, but it's not. Paul's letting everyone else in his band sing, and this includes Linda's "Cook of the House," a horrible song and does not deserve to be heard by anybody. Yeah, the other guys in Wings can't write or sing either, except for "Must Do Something About it," which was written by Paul and sung by the drummer, Joe English. "Let em in" and "Silly Love Songs," which despite being stupid as hell, I happen to like a lot. There are a couple of other songs on here that are okay, but I can't really remember any, most likely because the album isn't that memorable. "Warm and Beautiful" was quite pleasant though...

It's unfortunate that Mike McGear got all the talent in the McCartney
family, but give Paul a break; he tried really hard and sometimes even
came up with a song that wasn't half bad. Some of his most almost-good
songs can be found here, on this triple-live Wings album. Also featured
are "Rock Show," "Call Me Back Again," "The Long And Winding Road,"
"Silly Love Songs" and "Hi Hi Hi."

Wings Over America finds Wings '76 performing 2 non-LP singles, 5
songs from Band On The Run, 4 from At The Speed Of Sound,
1 from Red Rose Speedway, a hilarious 0 from Wild Life and
a headscratching 9 from Venus & Mars -- as well as 5
Beatles songs, 1 from McCartney, a great old Moody Blues hit that
Denny Laine didn't write, a Simon & Garfunkel cover, and an otherwise
unreleased Wings original called "Soily." The group is accompanied by a
four-piece horn section, and the band members themselves exchange
instruments like most people exchange their shoes; Denny Laine alone is
credited for "Guitars, bass guitar, piano, keyboards, percussion,
harmonica, vocals"! See what I mean about exchanging shoes? Come on
now, it's time to exchange your shoes.

It being a mid-70s live album, the sound is kind of mid-range and flat,
but all the instruments and vocals are audible -- particularly the bass
guitar, which is far louder here than on the studio records. During a
few of the 'rockers' (particularly on side one), Paul's voice sounds
raw, worn out and grotesquely phlegmy, but it's a passing problem and he
sounds typically beautiful on all the less shouty material.

We've already been over the Wings studio albums, so let's focus instead
on the non-Wings-LP tracks to be found herein. First, the two earlier
singles: "Hi Hi Hi" is a dopey, generic rock and roller with the blatant
(and stupid) chorus "We're gonna get Hi! Hi! Hi!," but James Bond movie
theme "Live And Let Die" is an adorable horn-driven action piece
highlighted by the hilarious turn-of-phrase "This ever-changing world
in which we live in..." And the otherwise unreleased "Soily" probably
should've been otherwise released; this Tuff little rocker may be
lacking a memorable chorus, but it sure beats hell out of most of the
dung on Speed Of Sound!

Next, let's focus our attention on the two Denny Laine-sung covers: The
Moody Blues' arrangement of Bessie Banks' "Go Now" is indeed a
beautiful, haunting pop song and it's nice to hear Wings give it a go -
but WTF didn't they do "Your Wildest Dreams"? Come on dix, that was a
huge hit! Get your dix out of your ass! Next time, think with your
head instead of your dix! In his other showcase, Denny gets all
artistic on us, performing a pithy summary of Edwin Arlington Robinson's
1897 poem "Richard Cory" as set to music by future African-American Paul
Simon.

And finally, let's simply name the six Over America songs
that Paul McCartney wrote and recorded prior to founding the world's
greatest rock and roll band, Wings: "Maybe I'm Amazed," "Yesterday,"
"The Long And Winding Road," "Lady Madonna," "Blackbird" and "I've Just
Seen A Face." I'd like to go on record right here tonight with the
statement, "Way to skip 'Hey Jude,' asshole."

I'll close with several random observations from the Ear Gallery:

- That "Venus & Mars" organ tone is so GROSS! Ditto for the
"yewy-yewy-yewy-yewy-yoo" crap at the beginning of "Band On The Run." I
realize I should've mentioned this in an earlier review, but why on
Earth would they start two strong rock albums with such disgusting
synthesizer noises? It's not enough that we sat through Red Rose
Speedway!?

- Not only does Paul sing "Rock Show" off-key here -- the background
vocals are out of tune too! Good old Linda, standing by her man. And
good old Denny, standing by his managing supervisor.

- In "Jet," the low voice is dominant during the
"Oo-oo-oo!/Oo-oo-oo!/Oo-oo-oo!" chorus harmonies. This will not
stand.

- How do they duplicate that stinging "Let Me Roll It" guitar tone
live!? It sounds like his guitar is literally filled with John
Lennon!

- Lacking the futuristic glam production of its studio counterpart,
"Spirits Of Ancient Egypt" is a disconcertingly empty and boring
song.

- Is there some valid reason why Paul sings "Lady Madonna" as if he were
a Vegas nightclub entertainer making fun of "Lady Madonna"?

- Denny totally cracks a wacky in "Richard Cory" when he sings "I wish I
could be... John Denver." To laugh! No, to dream!

- Am I nuts or are they playing "Bluebird" wrong? I could've sworn
there were two different chords where they're only playing one here.

- "Magneto And Titanium Man" is not only less Queen-esque in this
rendition; it's also, in a weird quirky unexpected twist of fate and
absolutely not something anybody could've predicted, much less
annoying!

- Listen closely to "Let 'Em In" and you'll hear Paul flub the absolute
HELL out of the piano chord directly preceding the horn break. It's
hilarious! Plus, since it's common knowledge that they later added
studio overdubs to the original live recordings, Paul apparently found
his mistake funny enough to leave in!

- Somebody should've probably taught Joe English the drum rhythm of
"Band On The Run" before he went onstage and made a clunky herky-jerk
mess out of it. Surely this couldn't have sounded good even to
him!?

In conclusion, it's long, it's live - it's Denny Laine's Denny Laine
Performs The Hits Of Wings! Where the h

In conclusion, it's long, it's live - it's the gigantic empty space
where Denny Laine's dignity used to be!

Reader Comments

mabewa@yahoo.com
Ah, the 70's, triple live albums and all. God bless Rush--who else still puts out this kind of thing nowadays? I don't know what kind of art the CD version has, but I loved the painting on the inside (or was it the back?) of the vinyl version--looks like they were trying to portray themselves as big Rock Heroes, instead of a bunch of sappy mushmeisters. Anyway, this album is self-indulgent, and there are a few pretty questionable song choices here, plus the they should have cut out a few from Venus and Mars. Overall, though, it does a reasonably good job of separating the wheat from the chaff. There are a lot of great and good songs here, mostly reasonably well-performed and without the studio slickness that Wings albums usually had. So, the 7 is about right.

So my question to you is this: Am I missing any good ones? I like both the ghosties and the gories, so subgenre isn't an issue. Do tell a fellow film fan (FFF)!

It's sorrowful that Jesse McCartney got all the talent in the McCartney family, but that's not to say that his unrelated ancestor Paul McCartney was any slouch himself. And one skill at which Paul "Wings" McCartney excelled, as I've stressed time and time again on this page, is ensuring that his albums served as multi-faceted subgenre-spanning carnivals for the ear-soul. If you're looking for a predictable mix of guitar rockers and pop ballads, you're Luck Out Of Shit with any post-Red Rose Speedway Wings album. Paul's creative palette had simply grown too broad by that point, with too many different musical colors of paint, for him to feel satisfied smearing a mere one or two onto the canvas of his vinyl, for fans to purchase at their local Art Museum of a record store, and subsequently take home to hang on the wall of placing it on their turntable. And London Town is yet another multi-colour musical painting for the upper lip!

Or ear, I suppose. If you're still stuck in the OLD way of listening to music.

The recording of London Town was apparently an arduous, time-consuming process that led to both Jimmy McCulloch and Joe English leaving the band mid-session. Nevertheless, this is an even softer record than At The Speed Of Sound, dealing in such easy-on-the-ears styles as light pop, Philly soul, adult contemporary and gentle lullabye. At times in fact, it comes nauseatingly close to orthodontists' office muzak (particularly in the sickeningly schmaltzy string-driven synthesized show tune title track). Even the mix is as gentle as a ballless man, muffling the few (very few) guitar rockers under a thick pillow of cottony inoffensiveness. Still, the songwriting is definitely more consistent than on the last record (even if nothing here rivals "Let 'Em In" for undeniable - if inscrutable - genius). And in a quite interesting development, throughout all the genre-hopping, the one style they return to most often (in 4 out of 13 songs) is dark, traditional folk music!

Early in the sessions, Paul decided to issue the wonderful McCartney/Laine Scottish folk original "Mull Of Kintyre" as a single, and it blew the roof right off the UK charts. Being no fools, McCartney/Laine wrote three more equally great Scottish (Irish?) folk compositions for the full-length. I know I've made some rib-ticklers at Denny Laine's expense here and there, but these tracks prove that the man can write a goddamned Great British folk song. "Children Children," "Deliver Your Children" and "Don't Let It Bring You Down" are easily among the finest songs on this record, and he even SINGS two of them! Furthermore, Paul tried to create his own strummy murder-style ballad with "Famous Groupies," but it came out generic and middling without Denny's Magic Folk Touch. So great work, Denny Laine! You've more than proven your mettle - and how! Now get back to recording another Wings tribute album, scab.

The most bizarre and delightful thing about London Town is that the constant jerking back and forth between dark folk balladry and wimpy soft pop -- combined with such inspired one-shots as Paul's hilariously on-the-money impressions of rockabilly Elvis ("Name And Address") and helium-voiced Michael Jackson ("Girlfriend") -- makes it feel like nothing less than a WEEN ALBUM. A spotty and flaccid Ween album for sure, but not a whole lot weaker than La Cucaracha, quite frankly.

Speaking of "Weird Al" Yankovic, why didn't he do a parody of this album's "With A Little Luck" -- uproariously entitled "With A Little Duck"? That seems like a strange oversight, particularly from the man who turned "I Want A New Drug" into "I Want A New Duck," and "Like A Virgin" into "Like A Duck." In fact, I think I'll write a parody of this entire album right now.

That's my opinion anyway. And you know what they say about opinions: if you have an opinion about a woman's rack, then you can convert rotational motion into linear motion!

Heh heh. Good old Arthur E. Bishop humor. Is there any gathering that it can't spruce up!?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Arthur E. Bishop!
Arthur E. Bishop who?
I don't know, but I created a hot forging process for the manufacture of variable racks in order to improve vehicle response!
Oh, I thought you were going to tell me a joke.
Nope! Just can't remember which Arthur E. Bishop I am!
I see. Well, you can come in if you want.
Also I just crapped my pants!

Reader Comments

jcjh20@hotmail.com
This one has a special place in my collection. One of those rare albums that you really need to hear on vinyl too. Perhaps part of the reason why this album sounds so soft is because most of it was recorded ashore on a boat off the coast of Jamaica. The title track, "Cafe On The Left Bank", "Children Children", "Don't Let It Bring You Down", "Girlfriend", "With A Little Luck" and "Deliver Your Children" are all fantastic. "I'm Carrying" is one of the most beautiful Mccartney songs, rivaling even his most beautiful in the Beatles. "Name And Address" is one of his most fun and hilarious. The song doesn't even have a proper ending for chrissakes. I'm also really into "I've Had Enough", as it gets stuck in my head a lot. "Famous Groupies" and "Morse Moose" really have no reason at all to exist though. I give it a solid high 8.

Earlier this week, my wife ordered Chinese food for some reason. She ate several amounts of it, then stored the rest in the the micro-fridge where we keep the ventilator and the eucalyptus boat. As a special reward treat for Henry The Dog, she covered his kibble in Egg Drop Soup several meals in a row. He loved it like a dog loves kibble covered in Egg Drop Soup, or, to use a metaphor, he was "a dog who loved kibble covered in Egg Drop Soup." Well, time comes to all of us (there's certainly no denying the ravages of age) and eventually the Egg Drop Soup reached its cessation, forcing us to return to the much-loved but tiresomely usual "Kibble And Tripe" routine. Oh, it's true: Henry The Dog loves his tripe. But we know, even without his saying so in actual English words, that if he had his druthers, he would dump the tripe and go Back To The Egg.

When Paul McCartney decided to record a concept album about my wife putting Egg Drop Soup on Henry The Dog's kibble earlier this week, he knew that a power trio was simply incapable of providing the sheer rocket-fuel force necessary to convey such rich emotions through a sound-focused media. Joe English hated Paul's fucking guts by this point (I made that up) and poor Jimmy McCulloch was found dead in his chair after sticking his hand in the medicine jar, so Paul turned to the two men most likely to turn Wings' fortunes around and make them the legends they are today: Elton John's old drummer and some guitarist nobody's ever heard of.

Thus, Wings released its final full-length with the odd line-up of Paul & Linda McCartney, Denny Laine, Lawrence Juber (!?) and Steve Holly (!!??!?.?..?!). Strangely, it wound up being one of their best! Paul's finally put his rock shoes back on, and even if it's not a full-on RockFest from start to finish, a full SIX of the 14 songs are uptempo guitar-driven rock tunes. And they're not just rockers -- they're really good, HOOKY rockers! Having retreated so completely into soft rock over the past few years, Paul could've been forgiven for splotching out a bunch of generic nostalgic Chuck Berry-style rock'n'roll but such is not the case at all. These are Band On The Run-style melodic rockers, but more stripped down and amped-up for the Punk Rock Generation. "Spin It On" is, in fact, a punk rock song if you can believe that! Or at very least, new wavey rock. Either way, it beats dickvein out of "Silly Love Songs."

Unfortunately, the non-rockers aren't nearly as strong. The gentle-yet-creepy acoustic shorty "We're Open Tonight" does its job, but the other forays into non-rockin' fare range from the simply passable (country-western, synth-funk, Stevie Wonder soul, dark piano balladry, acoustic strummy warmth) to the completely pointless (spiritual gospel and Gershwin-era pop so generic that they'd might as well be covers). So the old critics' chestnut (or 'adage') is once again proven correct: "If it doesn't kick ass with really loud guitars, lock it up in a box and mail it to Hell because it literally sucks dicks through a straw and the table's getting all covered in bloody pud skin and I'm trying to eat here." I know it's a cliche, but it's true.

Non-classic hit singles include screamin' piano pounder "Old Siam, Sir" and delightfully poppy cruncher "Getting Closer." Two of the other (great) rockers are performed by an insanely famous group of musicians Paul managed to gather together under the name 'Rockestra': Pink Floyd's David Gilmour(!), The Who's Pete Townshend(!), The Shadows' Hank Marvin(!), Led Zeppelin's John Paul Jones and John Bonham(!), The Faces' Kenney Jones and Ronnie Lane(!), Elvis Costello's Bruce Thomas(!), Procol Harum's Gary Brooker(!), Family's Tony Ashton(!), Elton John's Ray Cooper(!), Scottish session musician Morris Pert(!), and five or six other people I've never heard of(!). With such a gigantic conglomeration of musical talent on-hand, it's no surprise that "Rockestra Theme" and "So Glad To See You Here" sound like they were recorded by Wings with maybe one extra guy.

In summation, Back To The Egg has a bad reputation due to its lack of hit singles but in all honesty it contains some of the most instantly likable tracks that Wings ever recorded, and is easily the entertainment equal of Venus & Mars. It's not a great album, but then Wings weren't a great band. Who knows how the hell they came up with Band On The Run. But no, it would be another several years yet before Paul McCartney finally reached his artistic and commercial peak, with an ambitious little album called Press To Play.

No hang on what's th

Ah! That's right - Sgt. Pepper's Something Or Other Thingy Band.

Reader Comments

gamefan9@sbcglobal.net
Ahh, Back To The Egg. The whole album brings memories of Christmas 2003 flowing back.

I'm actually quite surprised at the 7 rating, I expected a much lower rating. Some of Paul's attempts at "rocking out" come off as totally faceless and boring (Old Siam, Sir) or just fuckin' lame (Rockestra Theme), and his soft mushy songs are softer and mushier than ever, including some songs that just make me feel embarrassed to be listening to them (Winter Rose/Love Awake, Arrow Through Me). And all throughout it seems like Paul intended to make this a concept album having to do with broadcasting and a rock orchestra, but abandoned the idea 1/4ths of the way through, rendering songs like Reception and The Broadcast as filler and out of place on the album, and the Rockestra idea basically useless. They only appear on two of the songs, and both sound like, as you put it, "Wings with maybe one extra guy". Who knows, maybe if Paul had given it a little more time, he could've used this idea to it's full potential and written pieces fit for a "rockestra".

Having said all that, the album isn't without its merits. Getting Closer is a great song, despite use of the lyric "my salamander". Reception, even if it is incomplete-sounding, is a cunchy little funk-rock exercise, and all the other rockers I didn't mention are good songs too (except Again And Again And Again.....*shudder*)

For all the album's flaws, it has its special place in my memories and it actually isn't all too bad.

5/10

chalkdork@hotmail.com
This was the very first long-playing album I ever, ever saved up to buy with my own money (well, pocket money). The year was 1979 and I was the ripe ol' age of 9, without the 197. How cool am I?! Not very; the next album I bought was Village People "Cruisin' ".

I 'm pretty sure I bought it for "Getting Closer", but "Spin It On" just FLOORED me! My first brush with aggression! "We're Open Tonight" was comforting, yet disturbing at the same time. I didn't fully understand that feeling until I started masturbating a couple of years later.

This kid at school tried to convince me the lyrics to "Getting Closer" were about buying a Joy Division album.

That was a lie. This kid at school tried to convince me the lyrics to "Getting Closer" were: "I'm getting closer, my salamanda. Eat up." Not that I've heard anything about him, but I'm assuming this kid is long dead, as I can't imagine him making it through the teenage years. We used to sit on his face (yes!) and scream at him that he was a Visa card, until he admitted he was a Visa card.

Yeah, I don't know, either... I was young and I needed the money, alright?!

His name was Paul Cermack.

Paul, if you're reading this, you're probably still alive and I'm sorry Francis sat on your face. I swear to God, I just watched and didn't know how to stop him.

jcjh20@hotmail.com
I'm surprised you liked it as much as you did. It's usually the album most looked down upon as mediocre besides Wild Life. I like it about the same as you. I love "Getting Closer" and "Arrow Through Me". The latter has some unusual chord changes and melodic twists which thankfully we'll eventually hear more of post-Wings in Mccartney's solo career. "Old Siam Sir" is a really cool rocker as well. I totally laughed at the description of Rockestra as being "Wings with one other guy" because that is definitely what it sounds like. How the fuck would you know Pete Townshend, Dave Gilmour or John Bonham were on those songs just by listening? They're fun nonetheless. It's weird how "We're Open Tonight" sounds so pleasant and dream-like yet so creepy at the same time. The rest is spotty, but some other good stuff here and there. It's great to hear such a punkish song like "Spin It On" and a new wave song like "To You". Breaks up the monotony of all those dippy love songs. 7 sounds about right.

FAVES:
coming up (live at glasgow)
goodnight tonight
c moon
i lie around
Both sides of the Country Hams single
country dreamer
sally g
wonderful christmastime
secret friend (HILARIOUS! So long and repetitive that it's absolutely PREPOSTEROUS!)

LOATHS:
little woman love
give ireland back to the irish (version) - what is the POINT!?
both sides of the Suzy & The Stripes single

The other 11 songs are okay.

I'm a bit annoyed that "mull of kintyre" and "junior's farm" aren't on here, but I'm sure the compilers had their reasons. Maybe they were too big of hits?

Mark

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OFFICIAL MARKPRINDLE.COM INTERVIEW TRANSCRIBER JIM LAAKSO WROTE:

wait...! the collected singles of wings (minus a few) (and plus a few, like "seaside woman" and "secret friend") is only ONE STAR better than "red rose speedway" and one star worse than "venus and mars"?!? never! "give ireland..." and "live and let die" and "i lie around" and a few others oughta bump it higher than that! unlike his dumbass lazy bandmates, at least paul was still releasing non-album singles and b-sides into the 80s, and generally OK ones at that! lennon's last one was, what... "move over mrs l"??? george's: uh... "miss o'dell" or "deep blue" or something?! (tho he later had "cheer down" and that kicked ass). ringo: who cares, but i guess it was way back at the beginning like "back off boogaloo"? anyway, the point is: singles were one of the few areas where i feel like paul actually continued to TRY through the 70s, and he hit more than he missed on those. fuck, most of the ones you list as faves were even B-SIDES! i say good for paul, but then again i've been drinking.

-------------------

MARK PRINDLE WROTE:

no no, see that's where you're wrong. it's mostly b-sides. it doesn't have Live And Let Die or Hi Hi Hi or Junior's Farm or Mull of Kintyre or Another Day or ANY of the a-sides that were also on albums. Some of these b-sides are great, others are awful, and many are just "okay."

The only non-pseudonymous A-sides it includes are Wonderful Christmastime, Goodnight Tonight, Give Ireland (which I honestly don't much care for -- I prefer Lennon's "Luck of the Irish"), and Mary Had A Little Lamb.

Why does it include the Top 5 Hit "Goodnight Tonight" but not those other hit A-sides I mentioned earlier? I've no goddamned clue. Fuck, it has BOTH versions of "Goodnight Tonight"!!!

As such, I find it hilarious that a double-album of b-sides and one-offs is STILL better than almost half of Wings' studio LPs. And you should too, drunk or no!

Mark

-----------------

And thus beginneth and endeth the most compelling and controversial debate that Email hath ever known.

One thing they don't teach you at Stinky Shoe School -- actually, probably the ONLY thing they don't teach you at Stinky Shoe School, if you know what I mean!!! (balling a stinky shoe) -- is that Wings released a hellriffic number of non-LP singles and B-sides. Most of these are now available as bonus tracks on official Wings CD reissues, but for those of us who cherish the blessed crackle of a shitty old album, it's either hunt down every single one of these 7"'s on ebay or go the Illegitimate route and purchase the 100-minute bootleg double-album Odd Sox, compiled and programmed by Ronald Gordon Ziegler & Mark Waubenauble!

As I mentioned in my infamous exchange with Official MarkPrindle.com Interview Transcriber Jim Laakso, Ron and Mark for god knows what reason opted to leave off four key A-sides ("Hi Hi Hi," "Live And Let Die," "Junior's Farm" and "Mull of Kintyre") while including not only their b-sides, but also five Paul McCartney solo tracks and the bonafide US/UK hit single "Goodnight Tonight" -- in both its 4:16 AND 7:13 incarnations! If you own Wings Over America, you're covered on "Hi" and "Live," but "Junior's" and "Mull" are excellent songs that need be in your collection if you're any kind of Wings fan at all.

The point of the bootleg is less to entertain you with excellent music than to simply compile all this once-rare material in a single place. As such, I don't feel the need really to review it, per se. As I mentioned to Jim, some of these songs are absolutely excellent, but most of them are B-sides so it's not like you're getting the cream of Paul's crop. You get your gentle soft pop ("Give Ireland Back To The Irish," "Mary Had A Little Lamb"), your reggae (the Suzy and the Red Stripes single, "C Moon"), your country/western ("Country Dreamer," "Sally G"), your rock'n'roll ("Girl's School"), your killer pop ("Coming Up"), your half-written messy slop ("The Mess," "Little Woman Love"), your awesome fully-written slop ("I Lie Around"), your disco ("Goodnight Tonight"), your Dixieland jazz (the Country Hams single), your Christmas music (duh) and wind it all up with your hilarious, endless synthesizer assdickery ("Check My Machine," "Secret Friend").

And sure, plenty of the songs are good. But who even cares if they aren't? This is Wings (and Paul solo) at their most 'Whatever!'-minded. These songs were left off the studio albums for a reason. Sometimes this reason was just that Paul liked releasing non-LP singles ("Goodnight Tonight" for example). However - particularly as four key A-sides are missing - most of the songs on this collection feel more like "Jesus, we can't put THIS on an album!" "Secret Friend," for example, is ten and a half minutes of Paul fucking around with the pitch knob on his synthesizer! "Walking In The Park With Eloise" is a horny blowout written by Paul's father! "Seaside Woman" is a song by Linda McCartney! "Little Woman Love" stinks!

So you can either go the impossible route and buy every single Wings CD reissue, or take the simple way out and purchase this bootleg album, which I've only seen once in my entire life (and thankfully bought at Jim Laakso's insistence - for a mere 18 American dollars!). So don't delay! Ask for it tomorrow at the first store you see! It's EVERYWHERE! Hell, even the UNDERWEAR store has a copy! And usually they only sell UNDERWEAR!

(Note to self: always end review pages with the word "Underwear")

(Note to readers: don't send in any reader comments for this page unless they end with the word "Underwear")

Oh, and one last thing:

UNDERwJLfffffffffffffffffffff

(*bleeds to death after being shot by an irate man*)

(*an irate man wearing UNDERWEAR, that is!*)

Reader Comments

jamesagardner@yahoo.com
Good approach to commenting on McCartney's post-Beatles music without having to tackle all those solo albums. As you point out in your intro, the Fabs were an impossible act to follow; Paul might have gotten less abuse from the critics if he'd just released solo albums rather than calling so much attention to the band. (John's Plastic Ono Band included *his* wife and he pretty much got a free pass, but isn't really comparable to what Paul was attempting.)

One of the greatest potential benefits to Paul of being in a real band again should have been working with another songwriting collaborator, and Wings sure wasn't much about that. IMO, some of the best post-Fabs songwriting Paul's done has been with Elvis Costello, where Paul's had someone (presumably) providing some substantial lyrics to go with his effortless melodies. It could also be that having someone to challenge him--again, like John, or Elvis C.--brings out the best in Paul.

So I hope he lines up another strong collaborator and makes one more great album in his career. And if he revives Wings, I hope he marries Tori Amos, or someone else who can really play and sing.

steven_knowlton@hotmail.com
I think the reason the compilers left off some of those a-sides is that they were included on "Wings Greatest," an LP from 1978 that was later also reissued on CD despite that fact that "All the Best" is also available on CD. If you have both, you can use one as a weight to keep the wind from blowing them away when attempting to sun-dry your underwear.