Group B, Arena Lviv, Lviv

Euro 2012: Denmark v Germany – as it happened

6.45pm:In the summer of 1996, football came home but it was the Germans who tucked the trophy under their arm, turned on their heels and trotted away as European Champions. But that success was a successful mask. Something was rotten in the state of German football and a mere four years later they would reach the lowest point in their footballing history: Euro 2000.

For that tournament, the German manager, Erich Ribbeck, marshalled a squad as crammed with cobwebs as that weird cupboard under the stairs in your granny's old house that you were afraid to fetch things from least you came out with only half the amount of fingers you went in with – a mere 3 players of said squad were 25 or under (in the current squad 15 are 25 or under). As if their first competitive defeat at the hands of England since 1966 was not embarrassing enough for the reigning holders, a 3-0 pulverising from a Portugal reserve side meant Germany finished bottom of their group, with one point (a come-from-behind draw with Romania) and the humiliation of their own fans cheering on the opposing Portuguese side. As the claws-out Guardian report at the time said: "Germany slunk out of the first round of this competition without spirit, without a win and apparently without hope ... where their opponents showed speed, invention and youth, Germany's ageing team looked leaden and lost, relics of another era."

A change was needed. Two years later, as Ulrich Hesse detailed recently, the German FA set up coaching centres around the country aimed at the youth and co-ordinated by experts within the game. Along with that, every professional club was summoned to the headmaster's office, given a stern talking to and told to open up centres of excellence. Now find an empty car park of a shopping mall, as well as a DeLorean with enough plutonium to supply the 1.21 gigawatts of power needed to run the flux capacitor, type in 2009 and aim for 88 miles-per-hour. Once you reach your intended destination you'll find Germany hold the Under-17, Under-19 and Under-21 European titles; the first time the youthful trident has ever been held by a singular nation. It was those squads and those centres that have helped make this German side the free-passing, free-flowing, free-winning, free-scoring, free-loving bunch of chaps we have all come to adore so very, very much.

The last time these two sides clashed in a completive fixture was in some final of some competition or other way back in '92 with the Danes coming out on top 2-0. So should Joachim Löw's side be worried of a repeat? Hmmm, probably not. As organised and talented as this Danish side is, Holland had 756 chances on goal and really should have won that game at least 435-1 while Portugal could have seen them off more comfortably if Cristiano Ronaldo had put away the sort of chances he usually hammers into the top corner while blindfolded with one leg tied behind his back when he is draped in the all-white outfit of Real Madrid.

Germany may have start slowly against Portugal – where they looked a little leaden footed, not pressing or passing as well as we know they can – but they slapped down the Dutch with the ease of a professional boxer facing a middle-aged man who is getting in the ring for the first time and who smokes and drinks too much and whose girlfriend says she will leave him if he doesn't sort himself out and get in shape (she is already having an affair with Neil Watkins from accounting anyway).

But this is football and to paraphrase Old Blues Eyes, anything can go (see Russia last night for further details). Denmark finished top of their qualifying group and have an A- in their recent encounters with the country that borders them to the south, they are unbeaten in three (friendly) clashes winning two. Remember, if other results go their way, they may only need a draw to progress.

6.56pm: If you are now wondering about the permutations for tonight, the nice men over at Uefa website have only gone and cleared it all up for us. Thank goodness for that.

• Germany are not quite through, but will be as group winners (meaning a match against Greece in Gdansk) if they draw. They will be knocked out, though, if they lose to Denmark by any result other than a one-goal defeat in which Germany score at least two AND [their caps not mine] Portugal win.

• Denmark will progress with any win. A draw will only be good enough if Portugal lose. If Denmark lose they are out.

• Portugal will be through with victory unless Denmark win by a one-goal margin (other than 2-1 and 1-0). They will progress with a draw unless Denmark win. Portugal will also be through if they lose by a one-goal margin and Denmark are also beaten.

• The Netherlands must win by a two-goal margin and hope Denmark also lose to finish second and take on the Czech Republic in Warsaw.

*Dusts down hands* Well that's that sorted then isn't it?

7.09pm:The teams are in. Nothing much to report here. As expected Germany have gone for a full-strength side with the exception of Boateng who is suspended; he is replaced by Bender (stop sniggering please). As for Denmark, well as you may or may not know, Rommedahl is out and he will be sorely missed by Morton Olsen's side; he is replaced (surprisingly?) by Poulsen. Both sides will line up in their 4-2-3-1 shapes.

Germany:

7.18pm: In a move sure to dampen the joy of those who love the German away jersey in the same way that I do, I am told they will be wearing their home number tonight while Denmark will line up in their rather natty, and possibly the best jersey of Euro 2012, red.

7.23pm: Does anyone else find it odd that Keano and Viera are bantering away in the ITV studios? Aren't they meant to hate each other. They just don't make rivalries like that anymore do they? Which gives me an excuse to link to this cracking video that we have all seen 197,888 times but still love.

7.26pm: Woof! As AC Jimbo, who is sitting three seats down from me, might say.

7.31pm: If you knew your history you'd know Denmark's record in 25 previous meetings with Germany is W8 D3 L14. You'd also know Germany have won all of their last 13 competitive games and that Germany are the only team to win all of their qualifying and tournament matches in Euro 2012 and have scored the first goal in each of these games.

7.37pm: The lads are in the tunnel and looking very serious. The weather is a sticky 80 degress. They'll be belting out the anthems right now and then we will be getting down to business.

1 min: Peeeeeeeeeeeep! That countdown has been, eh, counted down, the ref has blown his whistle, the teams are lined up in the correct positions and raring to go. Germany are playing right to left and Denmark are playing left to right, as is the style of these times.

2 min: The first chance of the game falls to Muller – who has been a bit quiet so far in the Euros. Khedira and Ozil combine and find him at the back post but his shot flies over the bar.

4 mins: Denmark are lining up with a conservative 5-man midfield in an effort to stifle the German passing machine. Poulsen makes some way down the left to earn a corener from the side which is aimed deep towards Bendtner but his header is saved Neuer.

5 mins: From that corner Germany attack down the right and carve the Danish defence open with ease. The ball is whipped across to the back post where it finds Muller who only finds Andersen in the Denmark goal. He really should have done better there.

Does anyone know why stadium announcements are being made in English when it is neither nations first language? It has been bugging me all tournament.

Can anyone out there answer that?

9 mins: Already Germany are bringing their own brand of the tiki-taka to tonight's show. There has been some nice one-twos and flicks but as yet no product. This could be a long night for the Danes.

12 mins: There has been a goal in the Holland game if you are interested in that sort of thing. And it's to Holland. Van der Vaart is the man responsible for it.

14 mins: The Danish like to play it out from the back, as is their want, and a series of passes finds Bendtner about 35 yards out. He shoots, he was always going to, but it doesn't even trouble a hair on Neuer's head.

16 mins: John – you still out there? Millions of people Two people have emailed me to let me know that is it because English is the international language.

19 mins:Goal!!!! Denmark 0-1 Germany (Podolski) Germany pile even more pressure on the Danes now. Muller cuts inside and passes to Ozil tries a first-time pass into the box. Agger cuts out the ball and it goes for a throw. From that the ball is cut across, Gomez does one of those funny air-kicks and the ball lands at the feet of the new Arsenal man. He slams it home form the centre of the box. He could have closed his eyes there and still scored.

24 mins:Goal!!!! Denmark 1-1 Germany (Krohn-Dehli) Well, well. This. Just. Got. Interesting. A nice, deep corner finds Bendtner who escapes the clutches of Schweinsteiger and heads the ball across the box. It finds Krohn-Dehli who heads it home for his second goal of the night.

26 mins: Just having another look at that goal, that was really poor stuff in defensive terms from the Germans. How the 5ft9 Krohn-Dehli can out jump the entire opposition defence is beyond me.

28 mins: Portugal have leaped over the Danes into second place. How? By scoring a goal, silly. It's now 1-1 in the other game.

31 mins: Oooooooooh. A ball as delicious as your mother's Sunday roast is swung into the box from Ozil but it goes out for a corer. From that, Gomez is given three yards of space in the middle of the box but he can do nothing with it. Are we starting to see echoes of the Champions League final from the forward? Eeep!

34 mins: Ouch! That hurt. On the very edge of the box, Kjaer has the ball toe-poked pass him by Muller with the result that Muller is mullered to the ground by the Dane. A free-kick is a result and Podolski's 100mph shot goes over the bar at 100mph.

39 mins: The red team have upped their swagger a bit since that goal and are starting to knock the ball about a bit. But they have yet to really trouble Neuer in German goal. By the way, has anyone else been disappointed with Eriksen? I know he is stuck out on the right today doing a defensive number but not sure he has done much in the other games either. Arsenal fans might be worried about Podolski too, other than today's goal he has quiet, a little too quiet.

40 mins: German GQ's Khedira has just stabbed a shot this much past the post.

42 mins: Gomez, doing his best impression of Tony from Saturday Night Fever, dances his way around the Danes and looks like he is about to score but he looses control and he ends up fouling Andersen two-yards from the keeper's line.

Half-time Denmark 1-1 Germany. I'll be back just as soon as I have a coffee. See you then.

8.34pm: You want some language-based banter? You got it! Simon McMahon has emailed in to say:

Esperanto is so last millennium. I talk JIVE.

8.36pm: Having read some of your emails and now had some time to put a thought together, why isn't the countdown in the language of the host nation? I thought one of the points of these tournaments was to embrace other cultures, get to know our Euro brothers a bit better and all that jazz. Of course, the easy way to solve this problem is to get rid of the stupid countdown in the first place because it's silly, very silly.

8.40pm: "How long before some enterprising Dane opens a sandwich shop in Copenhagen called The Krohn Deli?" chuckles David Hageman.

8.43pm: Simon McMahon's email has reminded me of this great Simpsons scene. Enjoy.

45 mins: Right, enough of this jibber-jabbering. We have a game to get on with. The temperature is still high and so is my excitement levels. Peeeeeeeeeeep goes the whistle and we are underway. No changes to report as of yet.

48 mins: Podolski picks the ball up in midfield and drives forward. He gives the ball to Ozil who hits it off a Danish backside and it is out for a throw. Nothing comes of it. The pace of this game is down to walking speed right now.

50 mins: Agger ups the pace by running out of defence with the ball and combines well with Poulsen down the right. Poulsen then gets the ball into Bendtner who holds it up in the box before laying it off to the other Poulsen, the Jakob one, who skims the outside of the post with this shot. A good effort that.

51 mins: That really was some nice play from Denmark, their best move of the match so far. They keep that up and they might just cause some more trouble for the Germans.

54 mins: There is a lot of passes being knocked around the middle of the park here but not much else going on. A streaker or a dog on the pitch would be a welcome distraction. Can we organise that?

57 mins: Mr McMahon, if you are still reading this, you have been called out by Tim Paul. Here be what he email.

With all due respect to Mr McMahon, Jive as a product of 1970s America seems at a fair remove from 21st-century European football.

60 mins: Both sides starting to look tired in this energy-sapping heat. Passes are getting sloppy, first-touches are being deserted and runs are being slowed. Not quite the no-holds-barred brouhaha I was hoping it would be.

62 mins: Yes! Something to report. Podolski is off and Schurrle is on. The latter has 7 goals in 14 games for the Germans. Let's hope he can inject some life into this number.

65 mins: As it stands Germany and Portugal are going through. Still 1-1 over in the other game.

67 mins: Just as I asked, Schurrle has indeed injected some life into the game. There has not been a decent chance on goal for aaaaaaaaaages now but Schurrle finds some room on the left hand side of the box and he aims the ball across the goal towards the far post but Andersen pulls off a good save.

71 mins: Denmark's biggest threat all night has been from set-pieces so when they get a corner you expect them to put it in the mixer. Instead they go short and the corner is wasted. Silly boys.

73 mins: A bright and up-and-coming striker in the form of Klose leaves the bench and takes the place of Gomez up front.

75 mins:Gooooooooooooooooal! but in the other game. Portugal 2-1 Holland.

76 mins: The ITV talking boys tell me that if Denmark score again and Portugal beat Holland, the Germans go out. That couldn't happen? Could it? COULD IT? We'll see.

78 mins: By the way, I missed this (looking at emails) and have just seen it on the replay but Denmark should have had a peno. Bendtner had a chance just inside the box but as he was about to shoot he got pulled back by Badstuber. The ref gave nothing but he should have. Bendtner is very good for Denmark isn't he?

80 mins:Goal!!!! Denmark 1-2 Germany (Bender) A lovely counter-attack finds Ozil on the left hand side of the Danish box. He slides the ball across but Klose cannot reach it. No matter. Bender is at the back post and he slips it home. Bye, bye Denmark, it has been fun. That is Bender's first international goal, bless.

83 mins: Corner to Denmark. This time they do the sensible mixer thing. The ball finds Agger but his header fails to find the back of the net.

88 mins: Neuer does some side-stepping about 25 yards out and just about gets away with it. He could have been made to look very, very silly there.

90 mins: There will three more minutes of these two sides strolling around the park like a contented couple, coffee in the right hand and a paper (hopefully the Guardian) tucked under their arm.

93 mins: Peeeeeeep! Peeeeeeep! Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Nothing more to report here folks. The ref brings it to a close and Germany are through to the last eight.

Full time: Denmark 1-2 Germany Well that was not quite what I was expecting. Germany started well and looked like they would win by a few but Denmark got back in the game thanks to some generous defending from the lads on the other side. After half-time, neither offered much. Germany spent most of the time camped just outside the Danish box but the Danes were resilient until a nice counterattack was finished off by Bender. Thanks for all your emails and tweets. Night.