Fading television star Glenn Beck will force what remains of his elderly lawn army to walk their fold-up chairs to Israel this summer for the sequel to last year's boring "Restoring Honor" rally.

The screeching muppet announced on his radio show today that he'll hold a "Restoring Courage" rally in Jerusalem in August. And not simply because he prefers the clime! No, this has world-historical implications, as he told his listeners: "God is involved in man's affairs, but so is the force of darkness. I believe I've been asked to stand in Jerusalem. Many in the history of man have had the opportunity to stand with the Jewish people...and they have failed."