That is a red-tailed hawk snatching an unfortunate pigeon right off of Avenue A.

If only they'd do the same to all the first-year investment bankers who take over the neighborhood on weekends then we'd really be getting somewhere.

Also with regard to the aforementioned post, I apologize for not providing you with detailed ride stats, but you have to understand that I was not wearing my space-tastic futuristic Fred glasses:

I'll tell you right now that sunglasses won't replace my bike computer because I don't use a bike computer. I haven't used one in years, since it dawned on me that 90% of the time I know exactly where I am and how far I'm riding, so why do I need a computer to tell me something I already know? Plus, half the time they're either not picking up properly, or else the battery's dead, and then you're all annoyed over the non-functionality of something you didn't even need in the first place.

Of course, the glasses are much more reliable in this respect.

Or not:

I got a chance to ride briefly with a late prototype version of the Everysight system last week around Boulder. Although the pair I used had some minor bugs (like dropping the connection to my HRM strap), I still came away impressed with the functionality and quality.

Wow. Space glasses dropping the connection to your heart rate monitor is the very definition of "Fred People Problems." It's also a very serious one, because if you don't know your exact heart rate for a few minutes then how will you know if you're tired?

They'll also tell you how hard the hill you're climbing is:

Riding uphill, I swiped forward to a climb screen, which displayed information like hill gradient. At the summit, a quick tap brought up a map that showed me my position on the descent, including upcoming switchbacks. That allowed me to essentially “see” farther down the road than I could unaided.

See that?

You just won the race right there.

By the way, here's the most Fred-tastic image you'll see all year:

("Calling planet Fredia, come in planet Fredia...")

Evidently the space glasses require you to take your hand off the bars, which is great news, because if there's one thing Freds need it's more ways to crash.

But don't worry, because it's not distracting or anything:

Was all this information distracting? Less than I had feared. The HUD focus is set to, more or less, infinite distance, so unless you’re looking at something very close to you, switching your view from the road to the HUD display is effortless and almost instantaneous; I never had a problem looking “past it” to see my surroundings, and it’s actually easier to use than looking down at a computer display. There’s also a mode that drops the HUD out of view entirely.

I don't doubt this, because if you're already tracking your mileage, wattage, climbing, heart rate, and everything else, then you're already at a complete remove from the beauty of your surroundings anyway, so there's no way to distract you any further. At this point Freds have clearly reached "peak distraction," so what's the difference if all that distraction is on their cockpits or on their face?

Best of all, you can use the space glasses to do live Strava racing:

What’s most interesting for cyclists is what a HUD system makes possible: everything from the ability to instantly snap a photo (and share it on social media) without even breaking your pedal stroke, to pacing a live Strava segment “race” against your PR or a KOM/QOM.

Here's a crazy idea: if you like racing, why not get a bunch of bike riders together, have them all ride together at the same time, and then see who's the fastest?

Nah, it'll never catch on.

Plus, I suppose Strava's indispensable at this point, because roadies have now become so insufferable that they can't stand each other's company for long enough to actually ride together.

An Xtracycle you can take on a train or store in an apartment? What's not to like? Plus, as the video points out, it's "smart:"

How smart? Well, he's wearing a helme(n)t while sitting on a bike, which you should always do, because what happens if you get so caught up in the latest issue of Dwell that you fall over and bash your skull in?

Hey, all that open-plan kitchen porn can be very engrossing.

Of course, while his head is protected, his toes are dangerously exposed to the elements:

You don't want to wear open-toe shoes while operating a folding bike, because you're liable to get a digit caught in a hinge.

Additionally, the video claims the bike is useful for dating, though I'm inclined to disagree:

Speaking of life in New York City, it's safe to say at this point that "Vision Zero" is nothing more than a screensaver for those flashing highway signs, because our mayor is far more outraged by baseball plays than he is by runaway trucks killing mothers of five:

The juxtaposition of these two articles made me wanna puke. How I dream of a day when De Blasio will even verbally acknowledge the insane frequency with which drivers kill people on the sidewalks, much less suggest a driver is "guilty as sin." I realize he's afraid that if he upsets drivers he won't get re-elected, but doesn't this at least warrant a "C'mon guys, let's slow down"?

Apparently not.

This is one of the many reasons I've been doing my best to "reverse commute" these days:

Reports are coming in this morning about what are believed to be a pile of human bones found in the bike lane on the northwest corner of First Avenue and 13th Street.East Village resident Nate Brown shared these photos from the scene, where the NYPD has now cordoned off the area...
Hey, that's not far from where I saw that hawk, so maybe they are preying on investment bankers.

Fortunately I didn't come across any human remains on this morning's "commute:"

Isn't that a lovely view? I only wishing I'd been wearing some Fred specs, because the only thing it's missing is some data:

Ah, that's better.

And while I may have avoided human bones, I did roll through dog feces:

I'll take dried pulverized human bones over this any day.

In fact, I'd be positively delighted to roll over and over the corpse of whoever didn't clean up after this fucking dog.

So I tried to spray it off with my water bottle, but that was a mistake, since all it really did was bring out the smell:

Plain ol' Tektro cantilevers? The Fuck-Os over at the forums are dying to tell you that you are having an inferior braking experience.

I spy another bikecycle in that last picture. Was there a sidekick on the ride? Since the days of the erstwhile BSNYC assistant, I often think it would be sweet for there to be some sick action shots of the Wildcat taking some sweet jumps on the trail behind the mall, but you need a bro with you to handle photo duties. doodies.

One of you people with photoshop skillz needs to get to work on that fredtacular photo of Space-Tastic Futuristic Fred Glasses Guy. That should be a go-to image. Like I'd really like to see what Brett and Space-Tastic Futuristic Fred Glasses Guy could accomplish on a ride together - Bib Shorts Guy could look askance at both of them. The possibilities seem endless.

When someone says, "dude-bro", I think of the big Lebowski, not an insecure bigot. I think the term to use pejoratively for such people should be "Alpha dog". Imagine for yourself who would describe themselves as such.

[I like it when I can make an emoticon AND close a parentheses at the same time.]

*************Do you think the Coca-Cola driver will be charged, for speeding or negligent driving? Or I don't know, I wasn't there, but the Gothamist link reported a bystander said a motorcyclist was also involved in the accident. It looks like the truck was going too fast for conditions, even if he was not responsible for the chain of events that led to the crash.

Now in my fifth decade, I really do try to drive my car sedately and safely, for reasons of practicality, really, to keep the wheels from falling off my fifteen year old Volvo v70 station wagon, due to all the potholes here in D.C., and the dippy manhole covers, and them digging up the streets to put in high speed internet, and the goddam snow damage from two winters ago, which, I'm slightly happy to say, a few of the merges from bridges to parkways have been repaired, but not enough, and with looming government shutdowns, it always plays havoc with the road repairing monies and contracts. And the District's streets themselves, forget about it, I have no hope of those ever being repaired.

****************I know lives matter, and matter more than roads, I know that. I suppose. But I wish to god this nation would get it through its head to spend sufficient money to repair and improve its infrastructure. Can't conservatives agree on that even? Isn't one of the jobs of government, on their short list, to provide the means, the utilities for we private citizens to be productive, i.e., to provide the roads and train tracks (and they don't even provide the train tracks!) so we can do our work safely and not have to pay an arm-&-leg to rebuild our front ends each year, and even, per chance, to be able to have a little "quiet enjoyment" while getting to our destination, as it is written in lease-boilerplate?

But no. We have to be a country that never spends money on infra, and everyone ought to drive a tank I suppose, and the rest of us can just suck it!

I think they are Ritchey Excavader tires. I think they are 34 or 35mm. Not really much wider than a typical cyclocross tire. I'm not a huge fan of cyclocross tires outside of actual cyclocross, Paselas seem to work better for mixed-terrain riding. The high shoulder knobs on these also make for wonky cornering.

Do you have problems with "the censors" at the Brooks Blog? Are there any? Do you have to pass it by Brooks' Bureau of Standards & Practices?

I like to think of you fighting for the line "about butt crack beverage portaging"? Do you horse-trade, (speaking of horses)? Did you have to pull back some other joke closer to the precipice just to get this one past the Eds.?

The two words that speak loudest in the whole thing are "at least." Notice how he doesn't say "I'm proud to be an American because we're the best and all the criticisms are patently false." He basically admits everything, retreats to a further rearward position and tries to defend that, with "at least." Unintentional genius.

Halloween episode of The Simpsons. It's a play on the Twilight Zone episode with a Gremlin on the wing of the plane. Bart sees gremlin on the side of the school bus. Runs up and tells the bus driver, who looks out and sees an AMC Gremlin driving next to the bus and says "Cool Dude".

i'd say "who the fuck-o is Joe Hazelwood?" but then bama(?) would tell me once again that i'd just gone around the sun too many times.

@JB @1:43

the light blue looks like a bike rack although why would there be a bike rack in that sylvan paradise? but there is definately a dark blue bike there as well. you can see the top of the bb and the chain rings.

I have a bike where I replaced the seat with a black rubber dildo. I use it for Portland's annual naked bike ride, or really whenever I feel like going for a stimulating naked ride. It's my favorite bike.

can someone tell this fuck-o Craig to stop listing neat-o bikes on his damn list? bought yet another f'ing bike today. i have a peloton in my office now.

dawes atlantis. english built neat suntour cyclone bits. the guy had the QR releases on like wingnuts and thankfully caught that before a ride, but thing is kind of sweet. and unlike these other damn things littering my office, it doesnt need any work. has these "gold" drop bars. very fancy indeed.

my scranus is never really arid whilest cycleriding - but how would the Fred specs know? Are the glasses connected to a scranal humidity sensor? I don't like the sounds of scranal blue tooth probes ...

Spokey, not questioning the presence of "the 2nd bike," just that it is likely to a stranger's.

I took a ~25-year old Trek road bike down from the in-laws garage rafters. It's been hanging there since ~1993. QR skewers on like wing-nuts! Even worse, it had white bar tape and a black seat! It does have Boost 148 however.

i'm still not convinced. i hear snobbie has the secret service put up road blocks and police tape when he goes out. if some stranger got through security like that i demand a senate investigation. or at least an irs probe.

For all of you meshuganim out there who have been bugging me about the Petzval field curvature, and just chewing my ass about when I was going to get back to you on it, here it is, so shut your pie-holes now:

"Petzval field curvature, named for Joseph Petzval,[1] describes the optical aberration in which a flat object normal to the optical axis (or a non-flat object past the hyperfocal distance) cannot be brought into focus on a flat image plane.[citation needed]"

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!