Opening Bell: 04.13.11

JPMorgan Profit Up 67% on Lower Credit Costs, Tops Estimate (Bloomberg)
First-quarter net income climbed to $5.56 billion, or $1.28 a share, from $3.33 billion, or 74 cents, in the same period a year earlier and from $4.83 billion, or $1.12, in the fourth quarter, the New York-based company said today in a statement. The results beat the average per-share estimate for adjusted earnings of $1.15 by 26 analysts surveyed by Bloomberg.

Impatience Over Recovery At Morgan Stanley (Dealbook)
“You can only take so much pain,” said David P. Foley, an investment manager at Estabrook Capital Management, which as of Dec. 31 owned roughly 661,000 shares in Morgan Stanley, valued at almost $18 million. “We have to go to our clients and defend the stock, and invariably someone says, ‘Why do you still own this thing?’ Eventually, I am sure Morgan Stanley will turn around, but the firm has become harder and harder to defend because it still hasn’t turned the corner.”

Bernanke Urges Republicans To ‘Deal With Debt’ (Bloomberg)
“He said we have to deal with the debt,” Representative Steve Pearce, a Republican from New Mexico, said in an interview after leaving the session with the central bank chief on Capitol Hill. “So far the market seems to be forgiving of the fact that we haven’t,” Pearce said, adding that Bernanke told lawmakers that “we need to deal with it.”

Obama to Lay Out Deficit Plan, Focus on Tax, Spending (Reuters)
Obama will explain his vision for tackling the long-term U.S. deficit and debt in a speech in Washington at 1:35 p.m. He will try to regain control of the spending debate by drawing a sharp contrast with a Republican proposal unveiled last week to lower the deficit by $4.4 trillion over the next 10 years.

IMF Warns US on Debts, Wants Austerity (FT)
The US lacks a “credible strategy” to stabilize its mounting public debt posing a small but significant risk of a new global economic crisis, says the International Monetary Fund.

The Battle Of The Office Candy Jar (WSJ)
“The proximity and visibility of a food can consistently increase an adult’s consumption,” says the study, led by Brian Wansink, a professor of marketing and human behavior at Cornell University, Ithaca, N.Y., and author of “Mindless Eating.” He adds, “Even for a person with the greatest resolve, every time they look at a candy dish they say, ‘Do I want that Hershey’s Kiss, or don’t I?’ At the 24th time, maybe I’m kind of hungry, and I just got this terrible email, and my boss is complaining—and gradually my resolve is worn down.”

Tyco Gets Takeover Offer Of $30 Billion (WSJ)
France’s Schneider Electric SA has made a preliminary bid for approximately $30 billion for Tyco International Ltd., according to people familiar with the matter, hoping to draw the Swiss-based conglomerate to the negotiating table. “The board is studying the proposal,” said one person familiar with the matter. The tentative bid “was a surprise,” this person added. As a result, Tyco officials believe “it’s going to take awhile to sort it out,” this person said. It seems highly unlikely that Tyco will accept a $30 billion offer, and directors “would undoubtedly want it to go higher,” this person said.

China Banks Said to Need $131 Billion of Equity Over Six Years (Bloomberg)
“Capital erosion is a long-term issue facing Chinese banks because they don’t really have the motivation to reduce reliance on loan expansion,” said Wen Chunling, a Beijing-based analyst at Fitch. “The focus of China’s rules is to ensure that banks arm themselves with abundant capital to be well-prepared for a crisis, so that the cost of any government bailout would be minimized.”

GOP Spooked On Debt Limit? (PMM)
House Speaker John Boehner has been reaching out to top Wall Street players asking how close Congress can get to the May 16th deadline (or July 8th drop-dead date) for raising the debt limit without seriously unnerving financial markets. The questioning is not going over well. “They don’t seem to understand that you can’t put everything back in the box. Once that fear of default is in the markets, it doesn’t just go away. We’ll be paying the price for years in higher rates,” said one executive.

Thank goodness Bess has broached a subject that has long been on my mind…the office candy jar…there are those who fill it, and those who empty it, with little overlap. What kills me more is when I buy lunch for my team, and there are three or ten guys from other teams who always have to come mooch, but then whine like simpering ninnies when someone from my team so much as asks for a package of sugar. Before I arm my team with swords and clubs to smite the lunch filchers, I thought I’d put it out to the crowd to see if anyone had any suggestions, or perhaps a cruel nickname for the thieves.

First look. Wow, look at that ass. Should tap it now. But my intensive HR training told me better.
Second look. Juicy. But my jedi training kept junior cool and collected.
Third look. Have discovered what my true calling in life is. But Lynn Tilton on TV left me in a fetal position.
…
Tenth look. Maybe just the tip.
…
Eleventh. OK. All-in. But since it is the ass it doesn’t count (she was catholic).
…
A couple of weeks later. Three secretaries, two sumeer interns and the cleaning lady in the conference room.

The more frequently you monitor your portfolio, the more likely you are to observe a loss. This is likely to cause short-sighted decisions and could hurt your investment performance. If you are checking your portfolio more than once per quarter, you’re doing it too much.