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My husband and I are thinking about relocating from Texas to the New York area. I have a job possibility in Suffern and he has one in Staten Island. We have 9 (yes, 9) children....4 of whom will be moving with us, ages 10, 12, 12 and 16. We would like a small town (village) that's conducive to raising a family...safe, low crime, good schools, decent cost of living. Any suggestions? We're coming to visit this weekend, so immediate help would be greatly appreciated!

Suffern and Staten Island are pretty far from each other. Not as close as it may look on a map. The only towns really between them lie in New Jersey. Though Suffern itself may meet your requirements (with a hard commute to Staten Island). There are no towns anywhere in the region with "low" cost of living. So really need to know your budget. A decent house in Suffern would probably run around 500 k.

If Suffern is in your budget, it meets your description. Good schools, safe. But you would really need to consider the commute from Suffern to Staten Island, which can be difficult. The problem is Staten Island is a bit isolated from the rest of the world.

Let me just add a few other notes. I don't really know New Jersey at all, but I do know Rockland County (Suffern) pretty well.
So some notes-- You mentioned a "small town." I guess that's a very relative term, and I don't think of Suffern or most of the surrounding areas in the traditional small town sense. Though it's certainly not urban, those regions of Rockland County and Northern New Jersey are largely suburbs built up in the 1960's and 1970's-- especially Rockland County. Prior to the 1950's, Rockland County was a handful of small towns, but then became just one sprawling suburb.

The government structure is also a bit odd in New York. With Counties being divided into Towns, which are then divided into Villages and Hamlets. In some areas, school disctricts are organized at the Village level, sometimes at the Town level, and often with overlap between Villages and Towns.

So when I browse real estate in Rockland County, I don't really think of the different villages-- I think of it by school district. Suffern is located in the Town of Ramapo, which has 2 school districts -- Ramapo Central, and East Ramapo. Suffern is in Ramapo Central, which is a very good district. East Ramapo is not a desirable school district. I believe that Ramapo Central also includes the areas of Montebello and Airmont.
Other desirable school districts and areas in Rockland include South Orangetown, Pearl River, Clarkstown, and possibly Nanuet.
These areas tend to be nice neighborhoods, clean, safe, with good schools. They all might be worth looking at for you. But for the most part, they lack the charm of "small towns." Shopping is mega malls and strip malls. Though there are a few modest walking "downtown" areas, for the most part, everyone drives everywhere. Most of the school districts are on the large size (with graduating classes of 300+ students).
Not saying this is automatically bad, but just pointing out that these are not Norman Rockwell-small towns.

Getting back to the commute -- There are areas in New Jersey, in between Suffern and Staten Island, which might possibly break down the commute into 2 moderate commutes. You might want to ask in a New Jersey forum.
If you do wish to consider Rockland County, I suggest that during your visit-- During morning rush hour, you try the drive from Rockland County to Staten Island, and decide if it's something your husband is willing to do every day. (I'd take an educated guess, that it would be about a 75-90 minute drive on most days).

@havoc: not everyone makes the distinction between suburbs and small towns, a lot of people from suburbs think they're from small town America... in an extreme case, back in my younger days on myspace I came across a girl's profile where she claimed in her about-me: "I'm a just a small town girl with dreams of moving on up into the big city" and went on to yap about her obsession with the Village and escaping her tiny little provincial corner of the globe... what "small town" did she hail from? Bayside, Queens. Full of public transportation, two enormous public high schools that draw kids from all over the borough, dominant Korean signage, at least two dozen bars and a large complex of mid-rise co-op buildings. About 83,000 people at a density over 13,000 per sq mile, probably 1/3 of which is foreign-born. some all-American small town...

Suffern is not horribly far from Staten Island, probably 50 miles. However, part of the drive will be in the direction of NYC bound traffic in the morning, and I suspect the 75 minute commute is probably a good guess.

There is an entire swath of NJ that might be suitable for you and shorten the commutes. You need to provide more info regarding budget, job hours, willingness to commute, etc. Suffern itself and nearby towns (Pearl River, for one) may be suitable, but I wouldn't want to make that drive to Staten Island every morning in rush hour.

^^ 50 miles doesn't sound far, but it sounds like one of the most unbearable commutes imaginable. Going along with Jersey traffic that funnels into three Manhattan crossings for the whole length of Manhattan, and then getting bottle-necked on your way to staten Island... insane. NJ would be a better intermediate.

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