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Author
Topic: sex assault and pep (Read 12201 times)

Hi thank you to those who responded to my post on the other board http://www.aidsmeds.com/Fusetalk/messageview.cfm?catid=4&threadid=31608 just wanted to clear up the matter on test results taking so long ,the test i was meaning was not the hiv and std test (those are back already even hep b &c which i didnt know the tested me for ) i was refering to the DNA swabs so they can charge him .he has changed his story somewhat and i remember more now as well which does not make me feel anything but more scared . Also i went to the id follow up appointment who gave me the std test result from the hospital ,(i didnt have any i knew that ) the doctor was realy nice an he asked if i could afford the med i told him yes but he went ahead an had the Ryan White foundation pay for it .I was going to not pay the bills on time because i am more important. Anyway he told me that it has a 60 percent chance of helping .which didnt reasure me much better then none thou .i just wish they could make this guy take a test so i knew .Also the drug test to see if there are drugs takes a month as well ,i think the crime labs are longer then reg ones.I have tried searching up info on the millitary thing for canada but cant find anything so no releif there .As for the combivir so far nothing to bad to note the first few day i felt kinda sick ,but i realy think that could of been the stress .i have been in contact with the crisis ppl but not for counsiling ,i think boyfriend may need it more .i think maybe i should be so honest with him about with the guy is saying which is 2 blowjobs that i willing preformed , this guy has to have done this before .the stuff he did before an afterword that i do remember is just crazy ..like he tried to set it up so that it would look like to me i did it an didnt remember .it is scarey to cuz if i had drank that whole drink i might have been conviced .but i remember fighting an running arround trying to get him off me an then i think i went out

i was screened for drugs but the crime lab wont have that ready for a month .The blowjob thing was what he said today to the police after already having said there was no sexual contact . There was no blowjob much less two of them . i do not know if the police asked him to willing take an hiv test.but i did ask them to ask him if he was on the polly test .

The more I read of all of the events, the more I hope you are getting counseling or some other professional support in dealing with not only the experience itself, but also the aftermath of all of these contacts with the police and all as well. This is very challenging stuff and all too often someone who's been the object of the crime ends up feeling responsible or as if they have done something wrong.

Not as of yet ,i read that if i start seeking help to soon ,before the police are done with the questioning an get all the information the defence can use that agaisnt me (as in maybe i was lead into stuff ) but it is stressin me out greatly i seem to switch my fears from hiv to herpes to what if he comes by my house ,i am very scared all the way arround an feel very stupid for even gettin into this.i think i could deal with this alot better if i knew his hiv stat . then i look at my kids an it hurts even more . can anyone tell me how exactly combivir will make me feel ,cuz i dont wanna freak out thinking i am seroconverting when it is the drug .tommorow starts day seven an my back hurts an stomach pain but i am due to start my period anyday as well so that could be it ,but it may not be being as the pregnancy prevention says it my take two weeks after i took it.The ID doc scared me to ,the if you feel like blah blah blah then it means you are problee seroconverting an need to get back in here ,i know he was doing his job and he is a nice doctor but i think i could of done without that.

The drug information you need is in the drug section under Combivir. Contact your doctor immediately if you experience nausea, vomiting, or unusual or unexpected stomach discomfort; weakness and tiredness; shortness of breath; weakness in the arms and legs; yellowing of the skin or eyes; or pain in the upper stomach area. These are possible serious side effects of Combivir - not seroconversion.

I'm not sure where you got the information that if you start seeking help too soon it will count against you. I can't see that being right, in fact, I would think that the defence would be more likely to use you NOT seeking help against you. "She's not been affected, didn't need help, did it really happen..." See what I mean? Please contact the rape crisis center for guidance. They deal with this stuff all the time. They are on YOUR side and won't steer you wrong.

Don't worry so much about what you've been told about a 60% success rate with PEP. For a start, this guy might not even be positive. Even if he is, exposure does not equal infection and the odds are in your favour of not becoming infected from a one time incident - even without PEP.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Just to add on to what Ann has wisely told you, get whatever help you need at this point.

If matters come to there being a court case in the future, lawyers on both sides will always do what they do. The most important thing is your health, both physical and emotional, and you should do now whatever is necessary for the best of both now as far as you are concerned.

The sooner you get help and therapy the better. There are a few reasons for this. Whatever you say to the therapist remains between you and the therapist legally...however its a very good thing to have a professional document and be witness to your current memories. You could choose to have this person testify on you behalf....that is ONLY AN EXAMPLE of something to think about. Your memories are going to move around a bit....as they should. You may never get the whole story but I promise you it won't always look the same.

You've mentioned children and a boyfriend. This issue is bigger than you, and people around you need help, and need you to get help. The sooner you get help, the quicker a therapist can address the issues of shame, guilt and remorse BEFORE they sink in too deep. With all the meds you are on now and perhaps the drugs you may have been given you cannot trust your own mind to decide what is right and wrong FOR YOU at this time. Your vision is clouded by post traumatic stress, medication and fear.

Feeling afraid he will stop by is normal. Feeling confused is normal. You may think you can compartmentalize this, deal with it by getting over it and all that....LET ME TELL YOU...doesn't matter how strong you are...you CANNOT predict your own side effects from an assault. Getting help IS the strength in admitting you might not have all the answers yourself..how could you?

At this point what happened or didn't happen is almost less important than getting help to deal with your feelings. As for HIV and the health issues, these are now effectively out of your control. You are taking PEP, you have gone to the Dr and what will be will be, you've done it all properly to protect yourself as best you can. You need to focus on what you CAN change....and you need help to do that.

Hey thanks for writing back an the link on the drug .I have been in contact with the hotline lady (i met her to ) anyway she calls herself an advocate . She is having someone call me tomorrow about getting help with "feelings" . Not matt took his polly today ,i dunno if he passed or not but they did tell me he changed another part of his story.They also said not to worry about him as he is going to afganistan . So when my test do come back he will be in another country. Not that i even care about that.I just want to know what it is he did to me .They did ask him if he ever had an Std but he said no .Hard for me to believe somebody who i know is lying tho . I feel better after posting here which is why i keep doing it .it kinda slows my mind down and makes me feel less crazy .update on med ...day 6 of pep diet ..all food taste icky the thought of food is hard to swallow an i am starting to feel more tire, even more then before ..but i am not throwing up ..yay again ,thank you for lessening an the good advice . Altho the hotline lady was the one who told me if i got help to soon it would give the lawyers a chance to say had impressions put there .No wonder so much stuff goes unreported .

If posting here helps you through this then good, but don't let it be an alternative to proper psychiatric assistance for what you're experiencing. Also, PEP is hard to do. Anti-HIV drugs are nasty, toxic things. There are scores of us here who take them all the time so we totally understand what you're going through on that count.

I agree with Matty - while it's good that posting here helps you, don't let it be a substitute for some face-to-face help as well. If it helps you to get stuff off your chest here, just think how much more it will help to talk to someone who is right there in the room with you, listening to what you say.

I can't help but get the feeling your case isn't being handled very well by the authorities and yes, you are correct, this kind of thing is a big reason why so many rapes go unreported. You stick to your guns hun.

By the way, I wonder how this guy can be going off on assignment to Afghanistan while he's under investigation for rape? Surely his superiors in the military have been informed that he has been in police custody and asked to take a polygraph test? Sounds like a cover-up to me. This might be something you want to ask whoever is in charge of your investigation. How do they expect to prosecute the guy if he's in Afghanistan? (Where he'd probably be pulling the same tricks on the Afghan women!)

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I still can't tell if you are in Canada or not, however its clear he is Canadian. Something isn't right with the advocate and the help line people.

The first thing the medical Dr does is refer you for therapy, so whatever the advocate is telling you, does NOT seem correct. Disregard that advice and call the police directly...or the lawyers if need be. This I know for fact.

It is completely wrong to delay therapy for the sake of the court case. There are victims rights that are different than years ago. I cannot accept that explanation from your advocate. Its illogical to punish the victim for seeking help. Your statement to the police is what counts, and you obviously review that before ever testifying. What you say to a therapist is not privy to the courts unless you want it to be, and its a separate issue. This simply doesn't make sense.

Has this Matt been charged by the police? A polygraph doesn't necessarily mean charges have been laid.

Nope no charges.I will scan the paper with the information about what it said about the seeking help ,i believe they want you to speak to the police first which i did an now that they have all my statements ,as unclear as they are i am free to do whatever .but at this point i dont even care about the charges i just wanna know if he infected me .I feel like i already know he did .like deep down inside i know this .illogical i know being as i dont even know to what degree of an assault there was .i just know i fought him an my clothes where off and being as he has changed his story i cannot accept he would tell any truths .I wish i would have asked the police a few more questions but i forget to when i talk to them i also do not feel like talking to them ever again .i know i may have to but i wanna block everything out now ,but this hiv fear wont let me .The head doctor is supposed to call me today ,an i have been waiting ...i feel unmotivated to make a move myself i want my medical report from the hospital to but making the phone calls an going to get them is seeming to much right now .anyway i read the combivir information but i will read it again i dont know how long the side effects last from the other meds they gave me either . hopefuly i wont have to many issues due to stress so i will be able to know what is in my head an what isnt .but if anyone has experanced the "mild " side effects of this drug i would realy like to hear from someones personal experiance .i know that is alot to ask . but i am feeling a bit achy ,not to bad an it comes an goes .my feet get hot in spots (could be in my head???)slight jiont pain (not umcommon for me ) I know the doctor said if i seroconverted i would have certian systoms and feel realy realy bad ,is this true? mono like but i have never had mono so that didnt help .I dont care if this med damn near kills me i will finish it even tho i feel there isnt much hope .i realize that could have alot to do with the whole event an not just this aspect of it .I made my boyfriend tell me he thought everything would be okay but i dont think he believes it hisself.He is having a hard time with this an i am having a hard time trying to hold it together for him .Really tho it does give me a focus to at least try to .having a hard time dealing with the house an kids .oh yeah an i currently hate all my friends except one .for being shallow an self centered .even tho i know i am problee being that way.

You can't go by symptoms to know if you're seroconverting. While some people do become very ill (like having a bad flu) some people notice nothing out of the ordinary at all. The ONLY way to know your hiv status is through testing.

If you do talk to the police again, write down your questions beforehand and have them with you. It's so easy to forget what you want to ask - it's a good idea to also write down any questions for your doctor too.

I can't help you with personal experience of combivir, because I'm not on any of the hiv meds yet. Hang in there, you won't be on them long, but remember to see your doctor if anything unusual happens.

I hope the doctor who rings you today can help you. Many of the things you are experiencing are classic symptoms of depression - which is hardly surprising after what you're going through.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you Matty . DAy 7 and a 1/2 stress is off the hook ,therapist never called me back ,driving myself crazy .left leg feels like i rode a bike ,back is stiff . and my mind is going a hundred miles an hour .wish this was all a dream .i wish i could just go into denile .i almost get there an then it slips away .I even wish i could believe what not matt told the police and i think i could almost if it wasnt for the few clear memories i have .so nowi wait all weekend til monday to have some person call me and help what ? relieve my fears ,? tell me everything will get better ? convience me it is not a definite that i will seroconvert ? and i keep waiting for some sign of the medication , it makes you feel bad the say. seems a little generic to me ,how does it make you feel bad ,especaily since i aready feel terriable ,. i think the worse part of all this is i know my fear is a real one ,not like the one where i worry he will come an shoot my whole family that is irrational ,but this hiv thing is a legitimate fear .my baby is going to start walking anyday and i cant put this outa my mind .i wish i had never remembered any of it ,in a way .then at least i could just being going on with normal shit .next week is going to be hell because i will be going into that 2 week period an b/f goes back to work ,i am very afraid to be alone not because i think someone will come in but because i feel abandoned ,even tho i am ignoring ppl when they are arround . On a different note while i was at the id doctor office waiting there was a woman there that looked as if she was going to cry i just wanted to hug her ,she had a bag which i supposed held her meds cuz it rattled like that , and i am sitting here waiting to talk with the doctor just like she is,and then i feel quilty because my current worst fear is her reality.

It gets better. That's all I can tell you. You aren't alone, you aren't abandoned, even though you feel that way, justifiably so. The bf is there, your children still need you.

No one can assure you whether you will seroconvert or not, but its unlikely. One exposure reduces the risk + perhaps no penetration or ejaculation + PEP + he's a heterosexual (its harder for women to pass HIV onto men) in the military in Canada means he's had HIV tests regularly + no other STD's helps significantly. Hopefully you can look at that and start to realize that allot would have to happen in order for you to get HIV from this incident....despite your fears of being 'the one' statistic, it just doesn't happen with rapes very often.

Like Andy said, let the future take care of itself. Perhaps this site is helpful, but sometimes it fuels the fears even worse, you have to decide that for yourself.

Worst case scenario...AND BELIEVE me, I DON'T think its going to happen, what if you did defy HUGE odds and become positive? You'd live a long life, sure its more complicated but your life wouldn't be over and you'll live to see your kids grow up. Its better odds than an aggressive cancer. Everyday we see more and more women come out who have HIV...fighting to address the stigma , some of those women from this site. All of this matters.

You are going to be ok, you are strong enough to do this. Look at it like this: You have a clear choice. You can let this destroy you (I am referring to the rape) or you can fight like hell to make sure it isn't what defines you.

Thank you Sae ,i reread your post alot ,it helps to rationalize.I am on day 14 of the med it is a very consitant reminder of all of this .I look at the bottle of pills which doesnt seem to be getting any less full and it makes me think time is standing still an i am stuck in it I just keep waiting for 8:00. i try not to get myself all upset but i do .I am not sure what is more distressful the way i feel because of what happened or the hiv thing .both are crippling at moments .i have paranoria as far as how my body feels even tho objectively i dont feel bad ,i do have a slight sore throat an i am tired lack of energy .the sore throat comes an goes,and i have lost weight which puts me under the weight for taking this med but the docotor didnt object to me going on it so i asume he weighed the risk.i have an appointment to be tested at the end of the 28 days i dont know why he wants to test me so soon an i wonder if i will get results back that day ,even tho they wouldnt be conclusive .i wish the nightmares would stop the shrink said they problee wont until i remember what happened .i wake up feeling like i am being choked ,maybe that has to do with the sore throat .I stop myself from looking up symptoms because i would then problee suffer from everything i read . overall i would say i havent improved any as far as my state of mind but i have gotten used to it ,if that makes sence. Not sure the shrink is helping she keeps saying ,this is normal and making silly statement that are easy to counter .or worse agreeing with me .

The suffocation thing is a result of having a lack of control over a situation (the rape). Sometimes knowing the why helps a little to alleviate it.

For now, its pretty impossible to expect your mind to divorce the HIV issue from the rape issue. What worries me more is that once the HIV is over (and I really believe you will remain negative) you will continue with fears of HIV instead of worrying about dealing with the rape aspects. I'm just saying that so you see it...

IF you are in Canada, and again I can't tell (but I am in Canada), the test results take about 10 days to come back. They are sent to a central lab and that's why so long.

I know its hard, but try to see the lack of control in your life over the HIV as freeing instead of suffocating. You have to wait, so in the meantime try to work through rape issues, dealing with the helplessness and soon you will start to feel angry. As soon as you do, its a good sign. I see a little in your post....therapists are annoying at times for good reason...

Its occured to me that I haven't said something rather obvious. Despite everything you've been through, you are actually doing really well. I know you are tired and beat up, but you've gotten out of bed everyday, gone to the Dr, gone to therapy...found this website. I could go on....

SAE , I havent actualy gone to the therapist ,i talked to her on the phone a few times i should call an talk make an appointment but i just havent .I am not in canada either ,in Virginia. This whole thing has realy messed me up .and i pray i dont have hiv ,but i am not being very hopeful .i am still having dreams an i cant shower with the light on because i just dont wanna look at me .I find myself wanting to be arround my boyfriend but avoiding him touching me .when he leaves a room i am all like where ya going .Being in the house alone drives me insane.The sore throat is still there an gets worse when i think about it ,sore muscles ,dry eyes upon waking and a lump in my throat that needs clearing all the time .no flu like stuff yet .Tomorrow starts day 19 of this the med .i have been taking if faithful on time exactly like i am suppossed to an find myself wondering if it works like another poster said and they just dont tell ppl because of everyone wanting to take it and not improving on there lifestyles.but the doctor told me only 60 percent of the time it works .so it seems if thast was true he would of been "take this just like your supposed to and you have nothing to worry about" and he wasnt .another thing that bothers me is it is a common drug an the whole -resistant strain thing .i feel the whole med thing is like practice.I hope is itsnt but i just 'feel " like deep down inside .like when you just know something.Everytime i think about the plans i had i just get all depressed .i miss my life without this .I think about drinking alot ,i dont wanna be that weak but theres this little part of me that thinks it would make me feel better ,or maybe make me remember . (which is problee what keeps me from doing it ) i find myself wanting to remember an very scared to all at the same time .The police havent been back in contact with me i dunno why but i have a feeling they believe what not matt has said to them despite the fact he told them a stupid story an had a black eye.i hope this sore throat is a side effect of the meds .

Believe it or not, but anxiety can cause your sore throat. When we are anxious about something, our bodies go into what's known as the "fight or flight" response. This goes back to the times when we were primitive people who lived in constant danger and it is the body's way of preparing us to run away from danger or fight off the danger. In the modern world where many of our dangers are not clear and present, this fight or flight response can get switched on for long periods of time. Along with increased heart rate and reduced blood flow to organs like the digestive system, it also makes our breathing more rapid. The rapid breathing happens to supply more oxygen to our arms and legs for defense or running away. Here's where the sore throat comes in - the fastest way to deliver oxygen to the lungs is through the mouth. That's right, we start breathing through our mouths and doing this for extended periods will cause a sore throat.

Try to pay attention to your breathing, and try to make sure you're breathing through your nose. When you're feeling particularly stressed, sit down comfortably and take some long, slow, deep breaths... through your nose. Count to ten as you inhale, hold it for a few seconds, then count to ten as you exhale. Make sure you do this slowly. It will have a very calming effect.

There is a second way that anxiety can cause sore throats and that is through muscle tension. Some people may hold their tension in their shoulders, but many people hold it in their chest and throat area. This is what is giving you the "lump" feeling in your throat. This is a common feeling when people are "holding back" and not speaking their mind about something that is causing them a lot of anxiety. Please talk to your counselor as much as you can because the more you talk and "get it off your chest", the more the lump in your throat will ease.

Hang in there Not, you're doing very well and the PEP will be finished soon. Please try to remember that even without PEP, the odds are in your favour of testing negative. I know you say you feel like you are going to end up positive, but feelings aren't facts. I hear you though... and I can fully empathise. However, I feel that you are going to come out of this hiv negative.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I also feel like you are negative even without the PEP. Don't discount 60%, really, that's a higher percentage than you might think. 60% is decent odds....its FAR from a lottery ticket.

Remember that allot would have to line up for you to get HIV, and its just not going to happen.

Please see a therapist in person. It makes a big difference to see someones eyes, and for them to see yours. A voice is too impersonal to get the connection you require to trust. A voice is too easily dismissed and damn annoying and even patronizing at times. If you don't like your first therapist...ALOT, then switch. Its ok not to bond with just anyone.

Your security has been shattered. Your sexuality changed, but not permanently so. You need your boyfriend close for protection, but not to make demands of you at this time. I suspect he knows this, and it hurts him too. This is why the therapy is critical, to understand how he feels as well, because believe me, there are surprizes and ah-ha moments that clear up alot of the muddy waters you cannot foresee.

As for remembering, eventually....once you get your clean bill of health...it won't matter. You'll have bits and pieces that will fade with time. You will return to feeling like yourself, with some steel armor you didn't have before. You can be stronger. Its unfortunate that you had this happen to you, its the one thing you cannot and couldn't control, nor change. Everything now...is within your power. HIV, try, try, try to accept that you can't change that either...except to take your pep and hold tight to those you love and who love you.

I won't patronize you by saying this is easy, it isn't. I can tell you that time does NOT heal all wounds, you have to do that. I can tell you that you will make it, because you will.

Yes i do find their words comforting ,i reread them often.I would like to thank you Ann,&Sae for taking the time to reply to my post. I havent made an appointment with the therapist yet i have issues with ppl right now so meetin one that i am suppossed to reveal personal imformation to has put me off a bit . like i dont feel ready to deal with that .altho i wont lie a few valium would problee do me some good.I stopped going over the event in my head constantly i think about other aspects of it instead.this waiting period is the worst part of it. Makes it hard to even pretend everything is normal which i am trying to do for the kids. I hope that all this crap i feel is a side effect of that med. how long does pep delay seroconversion ?

PEP does affect the window period. That means you have to test 12-13 weeks from your last dose of PEP medications.

I appreciate that this waiting period will be particularly stressful for you, given the circumstances of your case. With this in mind it's very important that you get good support from a counsellor or other qualified worker who has experience in dealing with people who have been sexually assaulted.

As with a possible exposure where PEP is not used, a six week test after your last dose of PEP will be an excellent indication of your true hiv status. You will still need that conclusive test at 12-13 weeks, but a negative at six weeks should help put your mind at ease.

You do know that anything you say to a counselor will not leave the room? Counselors have strict codes of conduct. Their very job depends on their ability to respect their client's confidentiality and keep their mouths firmly shut. I understand that you are probably having some very serious trust issues right now - but any counselor worth their salt will be clued up on this, especially if you see someone who is experienced in helping victims or rape and sexual violence. Please, please see someone. It might be difficult to start - the first session is often the hardest - but believe me, you won't regret going. In fact, you'll probably wonder why you waited so long.

Also, if you possibly can, try to get through this without resorting to valium or alcohol or any other chemical crutches. You'll be much better off in the long run. Many women have become dependant for years on such substances through events like yours, please don't let that happen to you. You can do this and you are doing very well, all things considered. Seeing a counselor will help speed up the healing process in a way that chemicals never could. Chemicals only mask the pain, they don't heal it. Please, choose healing!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Just a word of support, Ann and Matty have written all my thoughts already.

I implore you to get help. I know you don't feel like it, and by now no doubt you've done the math that I have been in your position...therefore seriously: you HAVE to go. If you can't go for your sake, go for the sake of your children.

You cannot run from this, you cannot hide using meds or whatever. You do not want the long term effects of not getting help...because let me make this really clear: the rape is the easiest part, the wait for results seems like your biggest hurdle but it isn't.....what is potentially worse is the long term ramifications of not getting help. You don't need a lifetime of issues from one very bad event. This is what frustrates me, frightens me and angers me....its never the rape, its the aftereffects of such.

Again: you got dealt a bad hand yes, but the whole secret to life is simple: its what you do NOW that matters. Its not fair the responsibility is yours to help yourself, but life isn't fair. It just isn't.

PEP is over . i was glad to get to the bottom of that pill bottle . I went to see a therapist last week .not realy sure thats gonna help as how the thing that bugs me the most is the not remembering part of what happened an her tellin me that i wont because the drug whipes it out didnt kick it off to a good start .I am not ready to except that i wont remember ever .even if it is true .Now that PEP is over i have become scared .i lay in bed an think about it an get up an think about it .tomorrow is my revisit to the id doctor they called to confirm it and i asked them if they were testing me an they said yes so i asked why as it has only been five weeks .they didnt respond to that due to my piggybacking questions ,(a bad habbit i have) the other question was how long would it take to show positve she says "you have to test a 6 weeks 3 months 6months and a year to be sure" why is she telling me this ? is this true ? this is an id doctors office . surely they dont want ppl to stress for a year an 2 weeks or walk arround wondering they could seroconvert any minute ,i read the stuff about iv drug users an chenmo an hep c infection at the same time.is hep c contracted though sex? really though wouldnt i feel something if i seroconverted being as i know i am in a window period an not making an issue over signs of stress . like wouldnt there be something? i know they say some ppl have flu like stuff and some ppl dont .i dont need spefics just a yes or no . wouldnt my immune system react some way?

No, you do not have to test beyond 3 months after the completion of PEP. You can test at 6 weeks after you completed PEP. Assuming you get a negative test result that will indicate you are likely to continue to test negative.

The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure to the HIV virus.

Assuming you test negative at 6 weeks, which I think is very likely, you should still re-test at 13 weeks. A negative at 13 weeks after completing PEP will bea solid and definitive result.

Stay busy in the meantime and this additional waiting time will go faster than you can imagine right now.

Thank you Andy , i dunno why they are testing me at 5 weeks since it is only one week off pep .It seems to be making me more scared and for no real reason plus i still have a week left to seroconvert if i havent already .But i will be a big girl an not cry when they take my blood or try not to look at the blood and think did it look that way last time ?

Well they decided to wait one week to test me and i left the doctors office feeling better,they asked about fever blah this an that then no more then two hours after a leave i start gettin a few bumps that look like a rash not itchy and very spaced apart .so now about to cry every five minutes . the bump are definitly real and poping up on my left arm not in my head like this sore throat thing might be.

I know just the stress of this is gettin to me ,therapist said the same thing Andy , i play a mean game with myself ..and mentaly go over the events of that night in my head over an over or flip out over Hiv .anyway on the bumps issue there are a few an i decided to ask the therapist if she saw em to cuz if there in my head she wouldnt see em right ? well she did see them except she saw ones i didnt see ,so now i have bumps in my head and she has an entirely different set of them in her head ...i like my shrink in some ways ..but ..i realy feel it is only up to me to see my imaginary stuff ,(if it is ) and i dont think i will be asking her if stuff is in my head anymore she doesnt play right . Anyway i willl get a six week post exposure test next week ,the doc said Pep would not effect the test and at 6 weeks if it is neg ,i should be fine ,an he said he thinks i will fine .the nurse told me combivir stays active in you system for 60 to 90 days after you stop it,is this true? not sure i have faith in her but the doctor is great ,hopefuly tho he wont have to be my doctor.

OK, so you have next week's test coming up. My expectation is that you will test negative.

So get to that and deal with that and we'll go from there.

In the meantime work on making sure you are doing some things each day that you actually enjoy -- a movie, walking, a bike ride, a gym -- whatever it is in your life that uses your energies in an enjoyable way.

Yesterday i took my test 6 week post exposure ,Tuesday i get my results .i get worse with each passing second ,ran a fever 99.5 lot of body aches an the not so imaginary sore throat. i have been keeping busy, today however i am to depressed upset an don't feel well .weird pains in places ,no night sweats no constant pain ,it moves around and comes an goes except the sore throat ,but i take loads of pain meds to like aspirin and Morton every 3 or four hours ,lately up from my two or 3 times a day .This is driving me insane .

New fear ,today , my 11 month old has broken out with a terriable rash on his head back an belly .So now i am freaking out thinking i may have infected him somehow.because a drop of spit fell outa my mouth into his as i was changing a diaper ,this happened before i went off pep .I KNow that salvia is not a transmission factor according to most web sites .an then you find some that scare the shit out of you .anyway he ran a fever for 3 days had swollen gland in neck an now this rash thing . Someone please tell me i am going nuts and that drop of spit could not of infected him (if i am infected)

You've answered your question and you know the answer. You can't let hysteria get a hold of you like this.Spit is not infectious you don't get HIV from kissing either. Saliva inhibits HIV this is a fact.

Thanks Sae ,it just helps to have somebody confirm things sometimes ,like some sites tell you dry kissing is not a risk ,which makes you think wet kissing is .it isnt i know that but when you have the dumb sites with doctors on there makes a person who is already in emotional frenzy even worse.

I know you've been told this before, but I think it bears repeating. If you're not already you really need to get some face to face counselling about these issues and the wider issues you're dealing with. It really will help.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Yes Matty i have been told to go get face to face help ,and i have been going to see this "non shrinky like shrink " so she proclaimed ,for about a month now . Yes Ann i did take my baby to the doctor he has an ear infection and is on med that may cause a rash .I wouldnt rely on anybody to know what is best for him over the net ,he was taken to the doctor on friday afternoon , i didnt want to asked the doctor a question like that because of the conflicting information some doctors will give you . i didnt not want someone who knows little or misinformed information causing me to worry about something ,that i shouldnt . I just wanted somebody to say ,hey your going nuts and tell me there is no fricken way . i am peaking with my crazyness right now . sorry if i am being a pain in the post .

LOL... "pain in the post". I like that phrase - can I borrow it sometimes?

Ok, yes, you are going nuts and going into the realms of fantasy. There's no way you would have infected your baby. There are thousands of hiv positive parents who take care of hiv negative children without ever transmitting their virus to the children. Normal, every day contact does not transmit hiv.

And anyway, you are very unlikely to have hiv. Hang in there.

Oh, btw, I mentioned taking your baby to the doc simply because you didn't. Just covering all bases!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Yes Ann , use it as often as ya need i have seen a few places it should be posted right next to the title, i have a few questions about seroconversion and the pep thing. I know I need therapy and stuff getting it so maybe my post will one day reflect progresss but I think my fears are warrented an my question in this one post at least reasonable . 1]do people who take pep an seroconvert do so while on the medication or after ? 2]If seroconversion is delayed becuase of pep would it only be delayed for the 28 days following the end of treatment? #3 if i have any seroconversion type of thing would it then show on the test or does seroconversion have to be completely over like say fever presented 2 hours before the test then ill the next week.would that show a result? I would realy like to no these things because i got my 6 week post exsposure 2 week post pep test results back today which are neg . I was very happy but it was short lived as i have not been feeling well i ended up taking the baby back to the doctor because of the rash that the med might of caused but it turns out he had strep which clicked with me about my not so imaginary sore throat so i said to her oh wow i have had a sore throat ,she looked an said yes and gave me sample meds to take for it (yay for samples) Baby is happy and wonderful again. I also had the I.d doctor look at my hospital drug screens from the assault .they found lorazapam in the drug screen which i dont take ,but i had a hard time thinking that would do that to me ,so i asked him what the the dosage was high /low ya know anyway he informs me it was seven times higher then what it would have been if i was taking it like they would prescribe every 6 to 8 hours or something .sorry so long just thought i would update that also they have enough evidence with that to make an arrest.

My answer is based on what I know about seroconversion, and what I know about how hiv treatments work. I haven't read anything that specifically addresses your question and if anyone else has, please speak up. I fully admit that I am making an "educated guess" on this.

When a person who is hiv positive takes Anti-RetroVirals (ARVs), the ARVs suppress, in various ways, the replication of the virus. This pushes the virus down to levels where there isn't enough to be detected on the PCR tests. From what I've read about positive people who go off the meds, the virus will "rebound" to detectable levels within around one to two weeks time.

Now. In order for a person to seroconvert - which means they have enough antibodies to test positive - there must be enough of the virus present in the body to stimulate antibody production.

It would stand to reason that when PEP is initiated in the early stages of hiv infection and replication, the ARVs will suppress the virus to the point where the body is not stimulated to produce antibodies. If PEP has not succeeded in completely eradicating the virus, as soon as PEP is stopped, the virus that has remained in the body will be free to replicate unhindered.

As it takes an average of 22 days without PEP for a person to seroconvert and test positive, I would imagine that this time period after PEP would be somewhat shorter as the virus already has a foothold.

So, to answer your questions,

1. A person would most likely seroconvert after PEP.

2. I would think a person would seroconvert between one and two weeks after the cessation of PEP, depending on how successfully the PEP suppressed the virus.

3. At two weeks after you stopped PEP, I would think you would have had an indeterminate result if you were in the process of seroconversion. That would mean some of the bands showed positive but not enough to form a proper positive result. The fact that your test was negative is extremely good news and I feel that you will not test positive in the future.

OMG! A seven times higher dose of lorazapam? With some alcohol in the mix too? He's lucky he didn't kill you outright and I can't tell you how happy I am that they can prosecute the so-and-so.

And I'm really glad you got to the bottom of your sore throat - and baby's too - and I'm happy to hear you're both feeling better.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

12 week post exposure neg. so is this conclusive or do i have to wait 4 more week because of pep ?. The I.D doctor says no so i did not set up another date to test . I am thinking i do not need to test anymore for this and want to put it behind me 100 percent without a doubt . so am i in the clear ?

Technically, the window period after a course of PEP is 12-13 weeks after your last dose of PEP. However, saying that, it is unlikely that your negative result will change. It is your call whether to go by what your ID doc says or if you decide to test again in four weeks for your own peace of mind and closure. I absolutely expect another negative result if you do test.

And congratulations. Please be safe in future and never leave your drink unattended in a public place again, even for a few seconds. That's all it takes.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Crazy to think that is what our world has melted down to but it is true ,I got a call a few weeks ago saying that a grand jury indictment had been handed down and he will face charges ,but not for a year or two because he is in Afghanistan. fighting the war on terror (insert opinion here) . I never went and got the 1 week post test because i tried to push this far outta my mind even though it knocked my whole life upside down .It still has me in shambles ,I even doubt me at times . I do know that this board carried me ,when I thought I lost myself and came here an cried .Just thought i would update ,and let ppl know ,they are charging him with something ,even if it isnt exactly with what he did (being as i may never remember what that was ) I just dont black eyes for nothing an aparently 12 other ppl dont think i do either .(yay 4 juries)