Sunday, September 28, 2008

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

These days, when I'm looking for new music, movies, or anything really, I wonder if I'm looking for something good, or if I'm looking for something different. I also wonder if there is a difference to me. Who knows, but seeing this trailer for "REPO! The Genetic Opera" has got me all sorts of excited. I'm not expecting to be amazed, but I am excited about getting to see an actual rock opera in a movie theater. I'm to tired right now to go any further, so for now, here's the trailer.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I'm sorry my friend. I wish someone would have told me. I wish someone would have told me. Not that there was really anything I could have done, but I just with someone would have told me. I sat here trying to think of how I could say how I wish you were still here. I was trying to think of some way to say that I'm sorry you're gone. You didn't deserve the shit you had to swallow. I wish someone would have told me. I tried to write a song about how much it hurts, but I knew it wouldn't be good enough. I thought I should write a poem or something, but I suck at writing poems. I didn't know who to tell, so I'm going to tell any random internet grazer that I miss you. I really wish I you could tell me again about one of your new paintings, or how you could get me out of the draft. I wish I could tell you again that you drink to much coffee. I wish I could tell you congratulations again for making it through AA. I wish they hadn't sent you back to Iraq. I wish I could have been there when you got back. I wish I could have helped you get out of the bottle again. I wish this world didn't fucking suck so god damn much, I miss you. I'm so sorry. I love you Chris. Rest in peace man. I wish someone would have told me. God damn it I wish someone would have fucking told me. You deserved so much more.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I was recently discussing the Democratic National Convention with one of my friends. We both described how we were moved to tears multiple times during the speeches. I've been sitting in my chair for that last 30 minutes or so trying to really understand why. At first, I thought the answer was obvious: the speeches we're well written, and amazingly delivered. But why would that move someone to tears. That's when I started thinking about a word used again and again this campaign season: hope. I was moved to tears because the future Mr. Obama, and Mr. Biden described was to beautiful. They described plans to do things I very badly want done. They described having the same dreams I have. I just want it so bad, and if I am to learn from my history, I have to expect that Obama will not be elected. I cried because I'm sick of hoping. Because I'm tired of putting in application after application with no call back. Because I'm tired of hearing news reports. Because I'm tired of fighting and not winning. Barrack has told me, and all of us, to hold on to hope for just a few more months. To keep hanging on to the rope, because soon he will be pulling us up. I'll hold on, for now. I'll hang on, for now. I'll keep hoping, for now.