Sunday, September 23, 2012

The three "B"'s....Binging, Breaking, Broken.....just like the name of my website....three Big B's that I have allowed to prevent me from my journey....three B's that I own as my personal shortcoming.... three B's that I strive to correct so that I can move on...

B number 1....binging....ok. I am sure that we have all done it. It's not pleasant, it's dirty, messy, and leaves you feeling like crap. I think that I have always been an emotional binge eater, choosing to ignore my feelings and instead "eat them". The band has prevented this to some extent; I can only binge in small portions. But if I elect to put a McDouble in my stomach over a protein shake, and then later that day eat some cake instead of a salad, well, it all adds up in the end. I am GRATEFUL, however, for the band as I have still lost weight while "binging".... but just don't feel really good about the process...

B number 2 ..... breaking promises to myself, to my husband, to my kids that this was the time that I was going to get healthy. I think, I really think, that I thought the band was going to be some magical tool that was just going to make me shrink dramatically, and (while I have already said it) I HAVE still lost weight and inches, I know that I could be so much further along this journey if I hadn't hit this rough patch. But, then it wouldn't be a journey, right? I have learned a lot over these past 3 months that I have been missing...what makes me feel good after eating, what makes me feel crappy, what exercise works for me, what things don't.....now is just the time to apply it...

B number 3 .... I am broken...most of us are...and now it's time to fix that. Time to recommit to the promise that I made on April 23rd when I cried as the sleeping drugs began to take effect, knowing that my life was about to change....Time to start believing in myself again and shaking off those who attempt to make my self-strength warble....Time to really see what this band can do....

Me....really....

as I pretty much look now....except when I am lazy and wear glasses...

Welcome!

Welcome to my journey from girl who has always been overweight and out of control to a mother who is doing the best that she can to take care of herself for her family! I have another blog that I update about my kids and stuff at

www.2queensandaking.blogspot.com

Let me know if you have a blog to and I will follow your journey as well!