In the second season of our famously edgy original series, we interrogate IT Pros in order to find out what makes them tick. In this special Valentine's Day episode, we dug ruthlessly into the life of matthewbrink, aka "Matthew."

The community of IT pros who all have the same common goal, which I believe is to assist one another when there is no one else to bounce ideas off of, or even when there is someone else…

What is your favorite aspect of the site?

My daily challenge question and trying to maintain some sort of streak.

What got you into the IT field?

It was actually an accident. I went to college initially for Visual Communications and a lot of pre reqs were not being offered that semester for that program. I decided to take this very basic 101 class on computer science and really fell in love with the topic. Stuck around ever since.

What has been your favorite part of the industry?

As cheesy as it sounds it is the people. They need help and I can help them, feels great. Also the always existing challenge.

What do you do now?

I am an IT Manager for a decent size doctor's office throughout North Florida and South Georgia.

How did you learn your job?

By being thrown to the fire. A System Administrator left an already very thin IT Department. There were a lot of system and infrastructure issues going on with IT. I felt like I was at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Fast Forward four months and I'm now only a few hundreds of feet to the surface, Pretty good progress I would say.

What are your favorite technologies to work with?

Linux. A lot of people hate it and that OS on the backend is a self-encapsulated challenge by itself.

What sort of challenges do you face in maintaining your infrastructure?

Before I started, the host would fail every 2-3 months. This left a very bad taste in the organization's mouth about the IT Department. So immediately my biggest challenge was getting end user support on new projects. I have rapidly started regaining their trust and have several big projects in 2020 that will require them to be on my side and not against me from the jump.

What new technologies are you implementing or looking at? Why?

I am playing with two open source tools that can be really beneficial to my organization once I get a firmer grasp on it and they are called Snip-IT and Snort. These are both inventory and asset related tools that will help the organization in keeping a better stock of equipment in the field.

What recent projects have you wrapped up? What did you learn from them?

Got an exchange server up and running. This was a stale project when I started and was tasked with getting it up and running finally. Will eventually look to migrate it to Office 365 but for now it is a beautiful beast. Also quickly understanding what a good anti-spam filter actually does for an organization and realizing (and being very afraid) of how they were operating without one prior.

Do you have any other story from the IT trenches that you would like to share?

Just this… Yes I can find out what sites you are going to and please don’t give me a reason to check… SMH

What advice do you have for people entering the IT field today?

Have fun. Get to the point in your career where you enjoy what you are doing and embrace it to the fullest.

Do you have any other advice or a message for your fellow spicefolk?

These interrogators are not too bad... They're very sweet if you just embrace them.

Creamy or crunchy peanut butter?

Crunchy all day.

What color is your toothbrush?

White

What is your favorite color?

Teal (Go Jags!)

What are your favorite hobbies?

Woodworking.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

There wasn’t any more parking spots in front of the job site so he had to park a few blocks away.

What is your favorite movie or book?

Movie – 4 Brothers, Book – Honus and Me

What is your favorite fictional universe?

The MCU. I was always a fan of Marvel Comics growing up and I was just enamored when the first Ironman came out and I have stayed invested in every movie… Yes including Thor Dark World.

Who asks you for IT assistance the most outside of work?

My best friend’s Grandma. My immediate family is pretty good about not asking me for tech advice unless absolutely needed but when I go back to my hometown and visit my best friend, his Grandma puts me right to work.

If you were a superhero (or supervillain) what would your super power be?

Teleportation. Traveling is for the birds.

Bonus torture round (questions added by former subjects)

What spicy User Groups do you participate in?

[redacted]

If you could make a Spiceworks Badge for anything, what would it be?

After-Work drinks badge.

Do you listen to music while you work or do you prefer silence? If you do, then what Genre keeps you going?

I do listen to music while I work. I bounce back between 90/2000’s rock, Country and sports radio.

What was your first computer equipment?

I don’t remember the computer itself but I remember the OS being Windows 98. The SNES might have come beforehand.

What kind of personal computer equipment do you use now?

HP Z-Book

What is your favorite technology secret? Why? How did you find out about it?

[redacted]

What projects or accomplishments are you particularly proud of?

Winning Employee of the Year at my previous job.

If you were offered your dream job at a pay level that would keep you happy for the rest of your life, but had to work with your least favorite person in the world, would you take it?

My least favorite person in the world is an Ex so, no.

What is the furthest you have ever been from home to a job site?

Tallahassee, Florida to Key West, Florida for actual work when I was 22.

Printers… tools of Satan, or simply misunderstood?

Tools of Satan. Printers have made me a full supporter of the Green movement.

You just got hired at a new IT position and you were looking for almost a year. What would you tell your replacement?

[redacted]

When choosing a new feature to debut to your workplace, how do you go about it?

When it comes to my organization, they are not open to change. I typically test new things on my own and then propose it to the right people. Sometimes they go for it and sometimes they do not. As long as I get the right person liking it, they become my scapegoat.

How do you wind down after a hard day's work?

BEER.

How do you usually dress for work?

Dress Shirt, slacks, and converse.

What is your most comfortable pair of shoes?

Black low-top converse.

PC or Mac?

PC

iOS or Android?

iOS

Is there anything you'd like people to know about where you're from?

[redacted]

How does media enter your home—Cable? Satellite? DSL? Over the Air?

Fiber in house for ISP and Over the Air. No cable or satellite.

What's something non-techy you do that gets a "Wow, I could never do that" response from most people?

Running marathons.

If you had to choose a non-IT career path, what would it be?

Woodworking. Nick Offerman is a personal hero of mine.

What is a guilty pleasure that no one would suspect about you?

I still enjoy playing Pokemon. Yeah, I’ll admit it.

What was the last gift you gave someone?

Drinks on me.

What is your secret for joy in your life?

[redacted]

What one thing that your significant other does would you change if you could?

Most definitely texting while driving. She’s gotten better but I wish... [redacted]

[At this point someone starts throwing random torture devices at the subject from the visitor's area and saying things that would definitely get redacted were I to repeat them. Apparently, unbeknownst to the subject, Suzanne had the subject's significant other flown in for the special Valentine's Day episode, and she took exception to the questioning at this point. Suzanne had to have her escorted out of the room, and it required additional "motivation" to get the subject back on track. We pick up again after Suzanne has re-asked the question several times and finally gets a coherent answer.]

Once again, what one thing that your significant other does would you change if you could?

[redacted] ... well, there isn't a whole lot but if I had to pick one, just stop stressing about the small stuff. I always have to tell her it will be fine in the end.

What is one rule you always follow?

[redacted]

What organizations are you involved with and passionate about?

Boys and Girls Club and coaching city league sports (t-ball, football).

What is one trait about you that people compliment you on the most?

[redacted]

If you could color your hair – meaning work would allow anything – what color would it be and why?

I would never color my hair and it has to do with the compliments I get from barbers or other people about the shade of blonde my hair is… Apparently it is a shade that everyone wants but is hard to duplicate.

What do you do to keep yourself physically fit?

I run a mile in the morning and go to the gym at lunch during the week rotating between upper, lower and cardio. On the weekends I like to go hiking or run trails.

Are you satisfied with your lifestyle? If you could change something, what would that be?

I am. I wish I could make more time to enjoy some hobbies I have, especially fishing.

If you could look like any famous person, who would it be?

Sam Elliot

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

[redacted]

What kind of pet would you have if care and feeding wasn't an issue, and why?

A unicorn, duh!

A penguin walks through that door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?

"Where’s the cold Coronas…?" ... He wants a cold Corona.

Would you rather fight off 1374 8” tall bears or fight 1 30’ tall bear?

The 1 30’ tall bear. I like a challenge.

What is your beverage of choice in the morning?

Coffee with cream or a Red Bull.

What is your favorite beverage?

Sugar Creek IPA in Charlotte, NC. Too bad I have to get on a plane to get it.

What is your go-to drink during happy hour?

I’m simple, give me a Miller and I’ll be fine.

What is your favorite food or meal?

Italian. Spaghetti, Lasagna and Pizza (it counts).

Coke or Pepsi?

Pepsi.

What’s your favorite “comfort food”?

Oreos and Almond Milk.

Is a hot dog a taco or sandwich?

[redacted]

What are some foods you refuse to eat, under any circumstances?

Squid and Frog Legs.

What is the highest altitude you have achieved that didn’t involve a flying machine (don’t include balloon rides or skydiving)?

Mount Rainier.

Are you someone who does the “Great New Thing” when it’s recommended, or are you a stubborn iconoclast who eschews things specifically because “everybody’s doing it?”

I try new things if I think it could benefit me but I am not just doing something because it is a fad or that I’m against it.

What's something cool you've done in your life?

[redacted]

Do you enjoy sports? If so, what is your favorite and are you a diehard fan of a particular team?

I do. I like NFL, college football, NBA, and college basketball in that order. I’m a diehard Jacksonville Jaguars fan. #DTWD

If you could have any car in the world regardless of price, what would it be and why?

Mercedes G Wagon. Have you not seen it before? That vehicle is so awesome and screams [redacted]! [subject chuckles]

What do you drive?

Nissan Frontier

What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?

What if I just kept driving and didn't stop…

Were you an arcade junkie? If so, what was your go-to game?

I am not old enough to remember arcades in their hey day but I have lived in places with the Arcade/Bar setup that I enjoyed a lot while in college.

What console do you have?

All 3. Xbox One, PS4, and the Switch.

What is your favorite video game character?

Kratos.

Are you prepared for the 2020 British Invasion?

No one is prepared.

What is your stance on the Oxford Comma?

[redacted]

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

37?

If you found $20 on the ground, what would you do with that money?

Probably buy a few drinks for the team.

What is your favorite quotation?

[redacted]

If you had a catch phrase what would it be?

[redacted]

Do you believe that someone from Earth will set foot on Mars in your lifetime?

I do. It has to be the next logical step and I can see it being the next destination under right leadership in the next 20 years.

If they made a movie about your life, what celeb would play you?

[redacted]

If you had to relocate to another country, where would it be and why?

[redacted]

How long would you like to live?

[redacted]

Congrats! You’ve won the lottery! You now never have to work again for the rest of your natural days with enough money to do whatever you want! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW!?!

[redacted]

Do you have any suggestions for anyone else who might be getting interrogated?

[redacted]

Special Valentine's Day Round

How did you meet your significant other?

I met my girlfriend while working at a remote site in town at her job. We kicked it off and have been dating for awhile now.

How are you celebrating Valentine's Day?

My S.O. and I are going to a real fancy Italian Restaurant in town and then drinks after. I'm surprising her with a big bouquet of flowers.

[The interview ended at this point, but just a postscript to let the readers know how it turned out... the girlfriend had been watching the rest of the interview behind the one-way transparent wall, and was touched that he was planning on surprising her, so they made up and it was a happy ending other than the scratches, burns, bruises, and scars from earlier in the interview.]

__________And there you have it. The practically complete transcript of the interrogation. Feel free to ask additional questions for the subject in the comments below.

Tune in next time as we delve into the psyche of another subject.... or, if you think you can stand the heat, you can volunteer for your own interrogation. Write to news@spiceworks.com with the subject line "IT Interrogation" (or alternatively "Willing Victim").

It was actually accident. I went to college initially for Visual Communications and a lot of pre reqs were not being offered that semester for that program. I decided to take this very basic 101 class on computer science and really fell in love with the topic. Stuck around ever since.

Am i the only one who read that with a thick russian accent?
Edited Feb 14, 2020 at 12:55 UTC

These interrogators are not too bad... They're very sweet if you just embrace them.

This CLEARLY was either solicited or coerced.

[At this point someone starts throwing random torture devices at the subject from the visitor's area and saying things that would definitely get redacted were I to repeat them.

There you go. More secret guests. I am very curious as to the identity of your so-called 'invitees' and I wonder if your secret benefactor James485​ is usually amongst them.

Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for my live stream. Your refusal to provide me viewing access will only work against you in front of the judge.

Suzanne (Spiceworks), you have endangered the life and well-being of your torture subject by not having proper searches being conducted on your so-called guests. maybe it's on purpose so you don't take any blame for their actions.

...and she took exception to the questioning at this point. Suzanne had to have her escorted out of the room, and it required additional "motivation" to get the subject back on track. We pick up again after Suzanne has re-asked the question several times and finally gets a coherent answer.]

This poor woman couldn't bear to see the inhumanity being played out upon her loved one. I would love to hear her story.

matthewbrink​, you held up very well to all they threw at you. You sir are a hero both in and out of the server room and I applaud you. Awesome interview.

Suzanne (Spiceworks), you have endangered the life and well-being of your torture subject by not having proper searches being conducted on your so-called guests. maybe it's on purpose so you don't take any blame for their actions.

Mikey, Mikey... we searched everyone. She just got mad and started throwing the implements that we *normally* provide to our guests. As for your "live-stream," the judge was happy enough to attend as a guest, and I explained that we offered you the ability to participate in person and you refused, and that of course we can't stream outside of our system for security reasons. She's fine with it.

Suzanne (Spiceworks), you have endangered the life and well-being of your torture subject by not having proper searches being conducted on your so-called guests. maybe it's on purpose so you don't take any blame for their actions.

Mikey, Mikey... we searched everyone. She just got mad and started throwing the implements that we *normally* provide to our guests. As for your "live-stream," the judge was happy enough to attend as a guest, and I explained that we offered you the ability to participate in person and you refused, and that of course we can't stream outside of our system for security reasons. She's fine with it.

So Suzanne (Spiceworks)​ if I am a special guest as MikeyD63 claims...does this mean I have a name color change?

Well. hypothetically, IF anything that Mikey said was based at all in fact and not conjecture, then the only way for you to get a name change would be to stop going undercover and be acknowledged as an employee, which would then (of course) destroy your usefulness, and you would become not-an-employee, so still really, no name color change is foreseen. ... I mean, obviously, Mikey is totally wrong, but that is how I would see it if it were in fact true. :)

So Suzanne (Spiceworks)​ if I am a special guest as MikeyD63 claims...does this mean I have a name color change?

Well. hypothetically, IF anything that Mikey said was based at all in fact and not conjecture, then the only way for you to get a name change would be to stop going undercover and be acknowledged as an employee, which would then (of course) destroy your usefulness, and you would become not-an-employee, so still really, no name color change is foreseen. ... I mean, obviously, Mikey is totally wrong, but that is how I would see it if it were in fact true. :)

matthewbrink​ Snipe-IT is a great piece of software. It will create 2D bar coded labels for your assets. The bar codes can link back to the site. It is very cool. VERY useful. Nice Interview! Well Done!

"What one thing that your significant other does would you change if you could?

Most definitely texting while driving. She’s gotten better but I wish... [redacted]

[At this point someone starts throwing
random torture devices at the subject from the visitor's area and saying
things that would definitely get redacted were I to repeat them.
Apparently, unbeknownst to the subject, Suzanne had the subject's
significant other flown in for the special Valentine's Day episode, and
she took exception to the questioning at this point. Suzanne had to
have her escorted out of the room, and it required additional
"motivation" to get the subject back on track. We pick up again after
Suzanne has re-asked the question several times and finally gets a
coherent answer.]"

Suzanne (Spiceworks), you have endangered the life and well-being of your torture subject by not having proper searches being conducted on your so-called guests. maybe it's on purpose so you don't take any blame for their actions.

Mikey, Mikey... we searched everyone. She just got mad and started throwing the implements that we *normally* provide to our guests. As for your "live-stream," the judge was happy enough to attend as a guest, and I explained that we offered you the ability to participate in person and you refused, and that of course we can't stream outside of our system for security reasons. She's fine with it.

Looking forward to seeing you here in person. :)

Please elaborate on the 'implements' (missiles) that your guests are provided with?

As for your stream; I can understand and respect your 'security principles'. I will fax the location of a dead drop where your courier can leave a (hopefully undedited) copy of this interrogation.

So I'm being made out to be some kinda crazy person huh? I see what your game is Z and it's not going to work. Why? because this so-called 'judge' has been under scrutiny for over a year for alleged fraud and malpractice charges. I also read something about tax evasion charges also being sought against her.

Right now she's trying to rebuild her spotty reputation so any invitation to look good will be accepted. Tell me...did she come with paparazzi? I'll bet she did. I saw her interview outside your 'headquarters' too.

As for James; he sits above employee level thus making your point moot. The chairman never has to actually 'work the line'. He just invests, advises and gets paid.

How did you learn your job?By being thrown to the fire. A System Administrator left an already very thin IT Department. There were a lot of system and infrastructure issues going on with IT. I felt like I was at the bottom of the Mariana Trench

This is probably the best way to learn. Get thrown to the wolves and fight your way out. Way to go