Tyson Foods: Parts is Parts

Arkansas -- Tyson Foods today announced that the labeling of chicken parts as "white meat" and "dark meat" would come to an immediate end. The announcement came as the result of an agreement with the Department of Agriculture following complaints of racial bias at Tyson facilities. "From now on, 'parts is parts," said Tyson spokeswoman Irene Fryer.

Tyson was the target of an EEOC investigation for the alledged practice of maintaining racially segregated bathrooms at its Huntsville Alabama poultry processing plant. A locked bathroom was reportedly marked with signs saying "Out of Order" while white supervisors were given a key and ocassionally seen entering and exiting the locked room.

Said Tyson's spokeswoman, "From now on it's gonna be like Chicken McNuggets. Nobody really knows what part of the chicken nuggets come from, or the ethnicity of the person who cut up the chicken, or which restroom they use. The parts are all the same, but labeling is out. Consumers will have to decide for themselves if the back and wings are white meat or dark meat.

McDonalds, which recently announced a super-premium "all white meat" chicken sandwich said it would look to overseas suppliers who wouldn't have trouble labeling the chicken breast as "white meat" and the thigh as "dark meat." It's ridiculous, if you want our opinion," commented Ron McDonald.

An anonymous supervisor at the Huntsville slaughterhouse said "The bathroom really WAS out of order. We put the lock on it so we could go in there and have a smoke without being bothered. But NOW look whats happened." Meanwhile, the two employees who filed suit claim they were harassed and chicken guts were poured on their parked cars. "You know, the stuff you have to reach in, pull out, and throw away. Yech!"

Meanwhile, Alabama governor George C. Wallace III who camped outside the Tyson plant was recorded as saying "Segregation of chicken parts now, segregation forever!" in a television interview his aides sought to downplay. "The governor," they stated, "actually dislikes white meat. He says it's dry. He's not racially biased at all. He's pro-choice."

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