As rumors continue to swirl about Shaq retiring, we've got an idea for his post-NBA career: as a pitchman for these giant earphone speakers.
He's one of the few living giants who could probably fit them in his ears.

The rest of us will have to keep them on the desk beside the computer, which most likely would be a Mac. (Why else would anyone buy a pair of speakers designed to look like the iPod's standard white earbuds?) The name, by the way--"500xl"--refers to their supposed dimensions, 500 times larger than the originals, according to Uber-Review.

Now that we think of it, maybe that "recycling speaker" doesn't look so bad after all.