It’s kind of a slow TV night with FX’s “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” and “The League” topping our primetime picks. Later in the evening we have the series premiere of comedian Dave Attell’s “Dave’s Old Porn” on Showtime at 11:30pm. Attell is a genius and this show beings together Attell with a favorite vintage porn performer and another comedian (tonight it’s Ron Jeremy and Whitney Cummings) to discuss a movie out of Attell’s stash. I’ve heard the tapings described on Greg Fitzsimmons’ podcast (and others) as hilarious – I can’t wait to check it out. —”Conan” writer Andres du Bouchet presents a night of comedy at Steve Allen Theter on Friday, October 21 as part of the release of his debut comedy album, Naked Trampoline Hamlet. Your cost of admission also gets you a copy of the album and a beer! Speaking of “Conan,” check out the above clip of the 3 ladies who “won” a week of sleeping on the “Conan” set – funny stuff, particularly the “American Horror Story” connection.—”Community,” which unfortunately doesn’t have a new episode on tonight, will be bringing French Stewart of “3rd Rock From The Sun” fame to the show in early next year.—OK, so this year’s World Series isn’t “interesting” but how interesting is baseball to Los Angelinos? Not very according to this Nielsen paper that looked at which Major League Baseball teams dominated local TV. Despite the vast population, LA didn’t crack the top ten and that’s a big failure as TV viewing volume factors into the value of teams.—Last night’s Hangover tribute episode of “Psych” was hilarious – next week’s vampire episode looks at least as funny.—”Rules of Engagement” is the little CBS show that could and on Thursday it begins its 6th season. I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I visited the set to meet with the set of professionals that bring the show to you. “Rules” has weathered storms that other shows like “How To Be A Gentleman” have succumbed to after a handful of airings. I thought “Rules” had really kicked the bucket when I got a press release a couple months ago that the show would be relegated to Saturday nights, TV show Purgatory, but now the show’s back on a weeknight. To commemorate the return, the cast will be on Twitter when the show airs, starting at 5:30pm Pacific. Use the #RulesofEngagement hashtag and post your questions to the followingTwitter handles: @rulesengagement, Patrick Warburton (@paddywarbucks), Megyn Price (@megynprice), Oliver Hudson (@theoliverhudson), Bianca Kajlich (@misskajlich), David Spade (@davidspade), and Adhir Kalyan (@amanofmanyfaces).—There’s a benefit this Sunday at the Ice House’s 51st anniversary. All proceeds benefitting Hillsides – the show features John Caparulo (“Chelsea Lately”), Kevin Nealon (“SNL,” “Weeds,”), and supposedly Arsenio Hall will be making an appearance.—The TV Junkie Must-Watch Plan: “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,” “The League,” “Chelsea Lately,” “Dave’s Old Porn,” “The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” 6:45pm The Southerner TCM – (1950) Poor white tenant farmers (Zachary Scott, Betty Field, Beulah Bondi) battle fierce odds to make a living on a Texas plot. 8:30pm Rules of Engagement CBS – Season Premiere. Dirty Talk As Liz (Wendi McLendon-Covey) enthusiastically tries to make her marriage to Russell work, he tries to end their relationship. 10:00pm It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia FX – The Storm of the Century The gang joins the masses in a race to secure scarce resources before a storm; Frank refuses to buy into the media hype about the storm. 10:30pm The League FX – The Au Pair Ruxin hires a hot au pair for baby Geoffrey and is afraid Taco will sleep with her; Andre explores on-line dating; Kevin cheats on Jenny. 11:00pm Conan TBS – Actress Jesse Tyler Ferguson; actor Steve Harvey; Amy Schumer performs. 11:00pm Chelsea Lately E! – Not sure who is guesting or on panel but it will be good. 11:30pm Dave’s Old Porn Showtime – Series Premiere. Whitney Cummings, Ron Jeremy are the guests. 12:35am The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson CBS – Actor Tom Lennon; actress Sarah Paulson.

Looks like Matt Barnes has been keeping secrets.Eva Longoria may have her eye on a new baller. The actress shared a flirty dinner with LA Lakers forward Matt Barnes in New York.“Desperate Housewives” star Longoria, who divorced former San Antonio Spurs star Tony Parker last November amid reports he shared racy texts with another woman, seemed “very flirty” with Barnes as they dined with two friends at Il Mulino Thursday night.Spies at the Greenwich Village restaurant said Longoria, who’s still dating Penelope Cruz’s younger brother, Eduardo, also dined with two of her close friends — stylist Robert Verdi and entrepreneur Loren Ridinger — but seemed very focused on Barnes.A spy in the restaurant told us: “There was definitely a spark between Eva and Matt. They weren’t seated next to each other, but you could tell there was something between them. There was a little hand-holding over the table and a lot of eye contact.”This isn’t the first time Longoria has been out with Barnes. On Oct. 16, she posted a photo on Twitter of herself partying with Barnes and George Lopez at Club Nikki in Las Vegas.Hmmm… Is Eva Longoria the real reason Matt finally got tired of pretending he would ever marry Gloria?Source

CLEVELAND — The Cleveland Indians can no longer afford to wait for Grady Sizemore to get healthy. The team today declined Sizemore’s $9 million contract option for 2012, making the injury-plagued three-time All-Star center fielder eligible for free agency. The move with Sizemore was expected, as was the team’s decision to pick up starting pitcher Fausto Carmona’s $7 million option for next season. The Indians also have options on Carmona for 2013 and 2014. Injuries have sabotaged Sizemore’s career, limiting him to just 210 games the past three seasons. He has undergone five surgeries, two on his knees, in three years and is no longer a base-stealing threat. The Indians, who were in contention before collapsing in September when injuries up and down the roster took their toll, have been patient with the popular 29-year-old. However, they have decided it may be time to move on without Sizemore and use some of the money that could have gone to him to use in free agency. It’s possible the club may try to re-sign Sizemore as a free agent, given their lack of quality outfield depth. With little to choose from at Triple-A Columbus, the Indians may offer Sizemore a one-year, incentive-laden deal. The club needs another starting outfielder to play with Michael Brantley and Shin-Soo Choo, who are also coming off injury-shortened seasons.

There’s been plenty written about Steve Jobs since his death. But, yesterday, The New York Times published a eulogy delivered at a memorial service by his sister, the novelist Mona Simpson. It’s lovely to say the least and there are lots of little nuggets about Jobs and his relationship to his family and Jobs as a devotee of love and beauty. But the thing the Web is buzzing about today is what Simpson said were his last words: Steve’s final words, hours earlier, were monosyllables, repeated three times. Before embarking, he’d looked at his sister Patty, then for a long time at his children, then at his life’s partner, Laurene, and then over their shoulders past them. Steve’s final words were: OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW. As All Things D reports, it’s only natural that words so dramatic would come from a man whose life “read like an epic novel.” What do they mean? Of course, we’ll never know. But The Wall Street Jounal took on the question seriously. It could be, they posit, just like his sister was saying — that Jobs was living “the artist’s belief in the ideal” that there is still more beautiful in the future. There is always the God theory, which is being discussed. But the Journal finds an interesting historical parallel: Inventor Thomas Edison’s last words were close in spirit to Jobs’s reported exit line. According to various sources, including the book “Edison: Inventing the Century” by Neil Baldwin, hours before his death, Edison emerged from a coma, opened his eyes, looked upwards and said “It is very beautiful over there.” Which may be another way of saying “Oh wow.”

WASHINGTON, Oct. 31 (UPI) — Republican U.S. presidential hopeful Herman Cain said Monday he was “falsely accused” of sexually harassing two women while he led a trade organization.”I have never sexually harassed anyone … and yes, I was falsely accused while I was at the National Restaurant Association,” Cain told Fox News. “I say falsely because it turned out after the investigation to be baseless. … It is totally baseless and totally false. Never have I committed any sort of sexual harassment.”During an appearance at the conservative think tank American Enterprise Institute Monday, Cain declined to address a Politico report that he sexually harassed two women while he led the association and they were given financial settlements and left the organization, The Washington Post reported.”I’ll take all of the arrows later,” Cain told his audience.When pressed by a reporter at the AEI appearance, Cain said he would abide by “the ground rules that my host has set.” The forum’s moderator asked the audience to focus its questions on fiscal policy.Cain campaign manager Mark Block denied the allegations during an appearance on MSNBC.”Herman Cain has never sexually harassed anybody, period. End of story,” Block said.Several sources confirmed to Politico that the women complained of sexually suggestive behavior by Cain during his tenure as head of the restaurant association in the 1990s. The women said Cain’s behavior made them angry and uncomfortable, Political reported Sunday. The sources also said the women signed agreements that led to payouts to leave the association and included language barring them from discussing their departures.The Hill reported Cain’s campaign painted the story as an attack by “inside the Beltway media” on the Georgia businessman, who became a top-tier candidate because of his solid performances at GOP debates and his 9-9-9 tax plan, which would replace the current tax system by imposing 9 percent income, sales and corporate taxes. “Fearing the message of Herman Cain who is shaking up the political landscape in Washington, inside the Beltway media have begun to launch unsubstantiated personal attacks on Cain,” his campaign said in a statement. “Dredging up thinly sourced allegations stemming from Mr. Cain’s tenure as the chief executive officer at the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s, political trade press are now casting aspersions on his character and spreading rumors that never stood up to the facts,” the statement said.Politico said the incidents included allegedly innuendo-laced conversations or questions of a sexually suggestive nature that occurred during conferences at hotels and other sanctioned restaurant association events, and at the association’s offices. Sources also described physical gestures that weren’t explicitly sexual but made women who saw them uncomfortable and said they considered the gestures improper in a professional relationship.Politico said it learned of allegations against Cain and pieced together accounts of what happened by talking to former board members, current and past staffers and other people familiar with the trade group when Cain was there. The Washington publication also said it was shown documentation describing the allegations and showing the restaurant association formally resolved the matter. Both women got five-figure separation packages.Several leaders of National Restaurant Association board of directors at the time of Cain’s departure said they hadn’t heard about any complaints regarding Cain making unwanted advances.”I have never heard that. It would be news to me,” said Denise Marie Fugo, who runs a Cleveland catering company. “He’s very gracious.”

It has been a week and a half since the last GOP candidates’ debate – can you believe it’s been that long? Given that break, Jon Stewart decided it was high time to get in some fresh jabs at Mitt Romney, Herman Cain and Rick Perry. Stewart’s main target was Romney, whom he dubbed “the uncontested frontrunner for everyone’s second choice for the Republican nomination.” In a new “Daily Show” segment, “Scared Mittless,” Stewart reviewed the polling numbers, which indicate Romney has maintained roughly the same level of popularity since entering the race. Unlike Herman “Black Walnut” Cain, that makes Romney “Beige.” Beige ice cream? No thank you. Yet that consistency stands in contrast to Romney’s propensity to flip-flop and be non-committal, which caused Stewart to wonder “How does a Mormon end up sounding like Jackie Mason?” Here's the clip: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook As for the other candidates, Stewart sensed a desire to win the crazy award, but “in the race to be the craziest, there can be only one.” No, not Michele Bachmann, but Cain. Cue Cain singing a cover of Imagine, only about Pizza. Here’s the clip: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook Related Articles: Watch Herman Cain Sing 'Imagine There's No Pizza' (Video) Mitt Romney Wins Another GOP Debate, Herman Cain Outshines Rick Perry 'Daily Show': Jon Stewart Compares Rebekah Brooks to Mrs. Weasley (Video)

Published: 7:56 AM – 10/31/11 Last updated: 8:00 AM – 10/31/11 The following area schools are closed Monday due to the October Storm:CORNWALL CENTRAL SCHOOL DISTRICT INCLUDING ST. THOMAS OF CANTERBURY (CORNWALL ON HUDSON)GREENWOOD LAKE UNION FREE SCHOOL DIST (GREENWOOD LAKE) NEWBURGH ENLARGED CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT INCLUDING SAN MIGUEL ACADEMY (NEWBURGH) SACRED HEART IN MONROE (MONROE) SACRED HEART SCHOOL IN NEWBURGH (NEWBURGH) TUXEDO SCHOOL DIST. (TUXEDO PARK)WALLKILL CENTRAL SCHOOL DISTRICT (WALLKILL) PLATEKILL SCHOOL TRIP SCHOOL TO SHOKAN IS CANCELLED *************************************2-HOUR DELAY:CALVARY CHRISTIAN ACADEMY (WARWICK) NO PRE-K AND KFLORIDA UNION FREE SCHOOL DIST (FLORIDA)GOSHEN CENTRAL SCHOOLS (GOSHEN) MARLBORO CENTRAL SCHOOL DISTRICT (MARLBORO)MONROE-WOODBURY CENTRAL SCHOOL DIST (CENTRAL VALLEY)ORANGE-ULSTER BOCES (GOSHEN) CHESTER LEARNING CENTER CLOSED VALLEY CENTRAL SCHOOL DIST. & MOST PRECIOUS BLOOD (WALLKILL) Ads by Google

This is somethings you can serve during the feast and also something for an offering and something to drink for the ritual.I have included this mulled cider with spices recipe and the cookies of the dead as a suggestion for an offering and beverage for your ritual.I have a few recipes to add here for your ritual that one can make ahead of time so that it will be ready for the ritual. The cider may be a bit on the chilled side when you are ready to drink it. If you choose not to use the cider recipe then you can use sparkling cider or even just plain cider.MULLED CIDER WITH SPICES4-6 cups apple cider3-4 cloves2 sticks cinnamonIn a large saucepan, heat cider, but do not boil. Add the cloves and cinnamon sticks while cider is heating. Serve in mugs, glass chalices or in a big cauldron.You are going to have cake in your ritual as an offering, why not try these cookies? Remember our loved ones that passed by making the cookies of the dead. Using cookie cutters to make these cookies into shapes of people represent our loved ones. Adding the herb rosemary to the dough to symbolizes the remembering of our loved ones that have passed. Some of the cookies can be ate while telling stories about our loved ones and this reminds us that we still have access to their strengths. Leaving the cookies outside around the bonfire is an offering to the dead in remembrance of them. These cookies, one could use in the ritual also, which is what we are going to do with them. You will need a cookie for each person who is going to be in circle with you or you can break them up into pieces and give each person a piece. This is your choice. Cookies of the Dead1