Talking about suicide is hard, for several reasons. Not only are we constantly combating the stigma of mental health in general, but we also are frequently turning our backs to the reality of suicide in our communities. No one wants to talk about if or when they may have felt suicidal. Rarely do we hear about those lost by suicide or the impact that was had on their friends or family members. Suicide has a way of leaving an eerily quiet and lingering trial of guilt, sadness, shame, and isolation, which further perpetuates stigma.

I know there has always been this myth that “Black people don’t kill themselves.” Well, I’m here to tell you that is false. Rather, I’m here to reveal that we all knew it was false all along. In fact, many of us have been impacted by suicide in some way and those around us may not even know. We like to pretend that WE or those we love will never and would never even consider suicide because it’s very difficult to imagine that someone would want to end their life. We like to pretend this doesn’t happen to us because we are constantly telling ourselves that we are strong and that suicide is a weakness We like to pretend this doesn’t happen to us because we have religion and our relationship with God is “supposed to” shield us from any pain that we can’t handle. We like to pretend this doesn’t happen to us because we tell ourselves that it could always be worse. Pretending that Black people don’t die by suicide makes it so that we don’t have to confront the pain of our lives or the pain of our loved ones. Pretending that we are immune from thoughts or death by suicide creates an illusion that in the long run only hurts us.

The reality is that there are several factors and circumstances that put us at risk for suicide. These include psychological distress, substance abuse, access to weapons and firearms, social isolation, homelessness, exposure to violence, family dysfunction, maladaptive coping skills, and exposure to racial inequality and oppression. We are also much more likely to die by suicide if we have previously attempted suicide. Black communities are further put at risk for suicide because of the limited access to mental health service that we frequently experience, due to lack of proximity of services, lack of insurance for mental health coverage, stigma, and distrust of mental health professionals.

So what are the facts about suicide in the Black community?

​In 2015, 2,504 African Americans died by suicide in the US. Of these, 2,023 were male (80.79%).The overall suicide rate per 100,000 was 5.66.

​In 2015, there were 481 African American female suicides in the US. The suicide rate of African American females was the lowest among men and women of all ethnicities.

​In 2015, researchers released data showing that there were more suicides among African American children ages 5 to 11 than among Caucasian children. This was the first national study to observe higher suicide rates for African Americans than for Caucasians in any age group.

​While the majority of studies show that African American men are more likely to die by suicide while African American women are more likely to attempt suicide, recent research has observed that Caribbean black men in the US have the highest attempt rate for the African American community.

​For African American youth (ages 10-19), the rate of male suicides (5.59 per 100,000) was 3 times higher than that of females (1.87 per 100,000).

​Males accounted for 86.9% of suicides completed by elderly African Americans (ages 65+). This percentage is mirrored by the suicides completed by elderly Caucasian men.

​Firearms were the predominant method of suicide among African Americans regardless of sex or age, accounting for 46.64% of all suicides. Suffocation was the second most prevalent method (27.75%).

We have to keep talking about suicide. We cannot afford to be silent about this because being silent has never made suicide go away. If anything, our silence makes suicide more likely to happen because it allows us and those we love to go unnoticed and suffer alone. Talking about suicide is key in the prevention of suicide.

If you know someone who is considering suicide:Listen.
Be sympathetic.
Offer hope.
Take them seriously.
Get them help.

If you are considering suicide:
Talk to someone.
Be honest.
Take this seriously.
Ask for help.

To hear more about how suicide impacts the Black community and to learn probable reasons for why death by suicide among Black children is on the rise, tune into episode 20 of ‘A Different Perspective’ podcast.

In the years that I have been a psychologist, one thing I have learned is that many people are afraid to go to mental health therapy. I can recall several clients who have come to see me and later admitted that they were afraid to even consider coming. Luckily, they decided to push through and soon realized that coming to therapy was one of the greatest decisions they had made.
​
There are many reasons why going to therapy can seem “scary” or produce some fear. If you are (or have been) afraid to go to therapy, rest assured that you are not alone. Below are the most common reasons I believe that many of us are afraid to go to therapy. I hope this list eases some of your worries and pushes you further toward the decision to say YES to mental health therapy.

The Fear

The Reality

“Therapy is for White people.”

​According to the Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health, “African Americans are 20% more likely to experience serious mental health problems than the general population” (NAMI, 2017). This single statistic is significant enough to demonstrate that people of color often have mental health needs that are unmet. While popular culture and society has made it seem as if therapy is “a White thing,” the truth is that mental health therapy is for anyone who has a need or desire to improve their mental health. Tools for improved mental health and overall well-being (i.e. therapy) are for us too.

​“Therapy is expensive.”

​Mental health therapy can be expensive, which becomes a huge barrier for many who are in desperate need of the service. What are the best ways to combat the costs of therapy?

If you are a college student, utilize the free or reduced costs of psychology services at your college or university.

If you are employed with benefits, check out your EAP (Employee Assistance Program) or similar mental health benefits, as they often offer up to 5-6 free sessions.

​The feeling of embarrassment about going to therapy comes when we or those around us attribute therapy to weakness. While you may feel initial embarrassment about going to therapy, the feeling of reward and satisfaction that you will receive once you have progressed through therapy will outweigh that temporary feeling of embarrassment. Also, therapists and mental health professionals are all legally bound by confidentiality, which means that your therapist will keep your information private and no one will know you are in therapy unless you tell them. Ultimately, there is nothing embarrassing about making the decision to take care of your mind and body.

​“Needing therapy means you are weak or broken.”

​Needing therapy actually just means that you are human and at times will need some help. In many communities of color, there is a belief that we must be strong at all times and resist the help of others. This is a very unhealthy belief, because the reality is that with the constant struggles many of us face, we will need some help at some point. “It takes a village to raise a child” and similarly, it also takes a village to maintain the responsibilities of adulthood and everyday life. No one is meant to handle the challenges of life alone. For many, therapy is the help they have needed.

​“Going to therapy would feel like a betrayal to my family.”

​Many of us find a need to go to therapy because of past family conflicts or traumas that have hurt us in some way. At times, telling your therapist about these past issues can feel like “telling on” your loved ones, or as if you are betraying them. However, it is possible to love your family while also acknowledging that there were things that didn’t go well. Communicating with a therapist about these issues may actually help you to feel more loving toward and connected with your family, in addition to helping you heal.

​“I don’t want to talk to a stranger about my problems in therapy.”

​Your therapist will always start out as a stranger, but often ends up becoming a very close confidant. While it may feel more comfortable to talk to someone who is familiar about personal topics, utilizing the perspective of someone who does not know you personally is one of the key elements of mental health therapy. We benefit most from someone who is unbiased, and an outsider to our lives, as they will be able to offer a different perspective that those who are close to us may miss. Aside from that, remember that you have the power to pace therapy sessions as fast or slow as you need. If you don’t yet feel comfortable discussing certain things with your therapist, let them know.

​“I’m afraid I may lose control of my emotions in therapy.”

​Emotions can feel overwhelming, especially at the time you feel the need to go to therapy. While it may seem that it’s safer to hold them in, the long-term effects of holding emotions can be tragic. Your emotions won’t hurt you anymore than they have hurt you while you were holding them. Therefore, meeting with a licensed mental health professional to share and discuss your emotions is healthy and extremely safe. Your therapist has been trained to know how to understand and help you cope with the release of your emotions.

​“I won’t find a therapist that really gets me.”

​This is a challenge for many people of color who desire to meet with a therapist that will understand their culture and experience. It can be discouraging when you are unable to find the right type of therapist, but I encourage you to not give up and continue to look for what you need. Have you tried therapist directories such as ABPSI, Psychology Today, or Therapy for Black Girls? Have you asked your insurance company or physician for referrals? Have you checked on social media for mental health professionals using hashtags such as #minoritymentalhealth, #Blackmentalhealth, #blacktherapists, etc.?

​“If I go to therapy, they will ‘put me away’ or take my children.”

​Fear of being institutionalized, hospitalized or “put away” is a common fear, especially when you are or have previously experienced suicidal thoughts or severe mental health symptoms. While therapists do hospitalize clients when needed, this is rare. There are many other steps that are taken prior to hospitalizing or removing children from your home and your therapist will likely do everything possible to utilize those first steps to ensure that nothing happens against your will. Being hospitalized, institutionalized or having your children removed from your care are absolute worst case scenarios that are not common in your everyday, typical therapy session.

​“If I go to therapy, then I will get a diagnosis.”

​Yes, you will likely receive a diagnosis when you go to therapy. Receiving a diagnosis could be beneficial because a diagnosis is simply a label for a particular set of symptoms you exhibit. Even without the label, you had the symptoms. The diagnosis itself changes very little about what is currently happening for you. Once you receive a diagnosis, remember that this diagnosis does not become who you are. Most mental health diagnoses are temporary and with therapy, you will learn tools to cope with and treat your diagnosis. So, with receiving diagnosis comes insight and a new path that leads to good healthy living.

Listen to Episode 19 of 'A Different Perspective' podcast to learn more about overcoming fear of mental health therapy.