Does six of one really equal half a dozen of the other?

I’ll give you five pumpkins for a subscription to the sunday paper. No? Okay, how about just the Target ads? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This ain’t the barter system, baby. You want my future in six words?

I make it to one hundred.

That’s right, I said it; no sooner spoken than broken they might say, but I’ll give it my best shot anyway. You see, I have this terminal disease called life. I feel every iota of its effects on me in some way, but I tend to focus on the things that scare me, even if just a little; shortness of breath, mysterious pain, something clouding my vision – in a way, I’m extremely vain, but the fact is that I do want to live a very long time, if I can swing it. I’m looking right at that corner, the one with the marker that says “40”. I’m going to loop around that marker, and then if what some people say is correct. . .

my life will really begin.

Ah, the mysteries beyond! I’ll ease through to the “50” marker, looking forward to the stand in the middle that serves up water and bananas – the AARP stand, of course. They’ll give me tons of free literature on how to keep running well into the future. It won’t be long until I’m defying the literature, however, as I visit the stands offering reduced-price refreshments, and I just know there will be pizza there. I love pizza.

This is what my shower will look like some day.

I’ll get past that “60” marker. How is the race going at this point? I’m not quite sure, but given the pace of medical science and the ever-rising quality of life, plus our ever-increasing physiological naturopathic tendencies; I’d hazard a guess that I’m still keeping a decent pace.

All I need to do is make it to the end. That strong pace only lasts so long, but a true runner understands that it’s okay to walk sometimes – that sometimes pushing at the wrong moment can make a difference between ending and finishing. But I have this feeling, this fantastic and wildly optimistic feeling, that my circumstances are such that I can make it at least to 100.

By that time, I hope to have met some of you in real life. That would be pretty sweet.