Saturday, September 28, 2013

So I've been thinking and wondering what direction should I take now that I am in a relationship with a man I love?The truth is I miss my blog, I miss writing about my thoughts, sharing my endeavors. What the hell, I miss talking about love and sex.And then I realized, I don't have to end my blog. In fact, I should come back, I need to come back. I feel it's even more of my duty now that I'm learning what love is.You see, searching for love doesn't really end once we fall in love. Quite the opposite, love keeps revealing itself more and more as we go along. Sometimes, we lose ourselves or let our egos take control, but if we run back to love and let it rule our lives, we realize that it's being discovered every day, it's being experienced every moment. Love in a way gets a life of its own.

Yes, that's what I am beginning to learn. In the last year or so, I made mistakes, I chickened out a few times. But I am glad I was smart enough (and lucky enough to have a patient lover) to always come back to love and let it take its course. It wasn't as easy for me as I expected, in fact, I realized, I didn't really know what love was till now. It's not what most of us think it is. It's not just chemistry and excitement. It's also about compassion, acceptance and giving. And I am only scratching the surface here.

So I've decided to start a new series about every day love. I'll write about my thoughts and experiences on what love is, what it takes to keep it alive, and how to surrender to it.

Mistakenly we believe that once we find love, there is nothing else we need to do. Somehow all our problems and issues will disappear, and we'll live in a perpetual bliss of romance.Let me tell you, we humans also have egos and minds that like to sabotage (screw up really) whenever we feel vulnerable or giving control away. And being in love is letting yourself being vulnerable, it's about giving up control to the relationship. For most of us, especially the strong-willed ones, giving up control is not the easiest thing. Some of us have lost trust after a few disappointments. Some of us closed off completely.

I've been a victim of my fears and doubts, I've let my ego mess with my life. But letting love in and surrendering to it in the end, was the best decision I made in my life.

I know most people will relate to what I am sharing here. And as I am learning myself how to love and to be loved, I want to share it with you. For believe me, there is nothing more beautiful than to love and be loved. It opens our hearts, it tames our minds, and most importantly, it reveals our souls.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I know I've been avoiding my blog (and you) for months now. In few posts during that time, I'd drop a line promising to explain my disappearance in the near future. "Near future" is subjective but even I agree, in my case, it took a very long time.

The time has come, the secret is ready to be revealed.I've got a lover. Call it a partner, boy-friend, man. I personally prefer "lover" for obvious reasons:)If you recall this blog's main objective was to find love. I started it 2+ years ago as a single gal, getting over a painful break-up with my 2nd love. Instead of closing my heart and throwing a key into the ocean, I decided to open it and let it guide me to find love again.For 2 years, I shared with you my experiences, good or bad, mostly fun, sometimes even frisky... I dated, I ran away to Vegas, I tried many things, but mainly I was learning to be happy on my own.And I did. Just last summer (July 2012), I realized something (the most) important thing in life: Love is already there, inside your heart. No need to look for it, for it will be escaping you for as long as you do. It might be strong but it's unobtrusive, it wants you to find it for yourself. It's waiting patiently and quietly. And when you do, it will whisper from your heart, it will fill your soul with love so complete that you'll never have to look outside yourself anymore. It will be your light and guide.

So I finally came to that point in my life. I realized how loved I was, how complete I was. And it was then that I stopped looking for love from outside myself. Not long after, we met, then we fell in love, and then started a relationship.So you see, I couldn't be as devoted to my blog anymore, for the objective changed. In a way, mission was accomplished.I did miss my blog, for it'd become my child, the window to my soul. And I visited it now and then. But it felt different this time. I knew I had to take a new direction.Naturally, a new blog idea came along. This is coming soon.

But saying good bye turned out to be harder than I thought. We'd been together for 2 years after all.So I still want to come here, I want to write, but my posts will be different. I know I'll want to share new experiences, inspire others, and most importantly, connect with my soul.