Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Got a new computer

I got a new computer earlier tonight. I'm still figuring out how to use it. My previous computer had a pretty good life - I got it for Christmas in 2007 and it's technically still working, but just barely. All of the small problems finally started to add up. The battery didn't charge anymore. That was okay; I just kept it plugged in. It was slow. That was fine; I'm never in a hurry. Then it started doing weird freezing up things and it just became an annoyance. It was time for a new one. And now I have one. We'll see how it goes.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013 is notable for being my last day at RadioShack. I was talking with the boss about how much I was working at Pizza Hut and she asked, "Do you still want to work here?" She'd asked that a couple other times, but I'd always hem and haw around it, "Ehhhh, I guess. We'll see." Etc... But, today, I finally said, "Not really."

So, we ended things on good terms. I was told that if anything happens I can always come back down the line. And, she said that they like to hire extra people for a month or so during the Christmas season, so maybe we can work something out later.

I was just working too much at Pizza Hut to manage both jobs. Since coming back, the fewest hours in a 40-hour week I've worked is 37 and the most is 53. Physically, I can manage it, but mentally I wasn't fully there. Maybe I wasn't even holding up well physically. The last time I was at RadioShack it was 9 a.m. and I was talking about Pizza Hut and mentioned that I had worked the previous night until 1 a.m. which prompted my boss to ask, "So, is that why your eyes are so red right now?" I guess she just thought I was on drugs like most people do.

Again, I can't believe those paragraphs are my life. But, you know, the plan is to go back to school and graduate. I have classes. I just need financial aid money to make it manageable. That's all still in the process of being sorted out.

I've been thinking about the role that I want to play at Concord University in the fall. I've gotten this reputation over the years of being some sort of student journalist. I guess I'm trying to decide how active I want to be in things. I don't think I want to be some nameless student who just goes to class and does his homework. To me, Concord University isn't just a collection of buildings that houses classrooms. I couldn't do that even if I was forced to.

As is common with me - ideas have been swirling around in my head. Stagnation is not something that I like. I want to go further, higher, bigger, better. And that's probably why my day-to-day depression level is at a 26-year high, since I've stagnated as a college student and person for nearly a decade.

In everything I've done as a student journalist, the idea has been to grow it and make it bigger. I started out on The Concordian. Then I started incorporating my blog into it. Then I added Facebook into the blog and newspaper. Then I (cockily, I might add) thought my blog was bigger than The Concordian, so I broke away from the newspaper. And, honestly, in 2008 and 2009, you could probably argue that that point was true. I kind of used to be somebody.

Then I fell asleep for a few years and woke back up realizing how much of a loser I was (Insert Tommy Boy quote: "Yeah, what a loser...) and wanted to change that. What any industry needs to do is to serve its audience as adequately as possible. At a college level, The Concordian hasn't really been doing that. On a city level, I don't really think The Princeton Times has been doing that. And, for me, I haven't been doing that. And I would like for people to have a reason to read my blog. Just like there needs to be a reason to pick up The Concordian or The Princeton Times or what-have-you.

That's one reason I tried to create that magazine - to serve an underrepresented audience. That project is on hold for right now. It seemed dumb to try to raise money to print a magazine when I was having trouble paying my bills. So, I'm getting my life caught up and then we'll get back to that. I have a couple ideas in my head to get things off the ground with that. Publish date for issue 1 is tentatively spring 2014.

But, as a local small-time student journalist, I have ideas in my head to make that bigger. I'm just still deciding whether or not I want to be that guy anymore. I should have moved past being him years ago but life moved past me and I stood still.

And that's where we're at right now. I'll let you know how things work out with me and my new computer.