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May 2016

Tomorrow is my birthday. I am still "Not Fifty." This annual revelation has become a THING ever since that possibility began Looming Ever Closer. It not being THE Big 5-0 birthday is supposedly (presumably) like some sort of reprieve. But this is the last year before I get to The Big One.

"You and I will be the same age for a few months!" hoots Yin, (Him, Yin; Me, Yang), who likes the idea of not being the oldest one in the relationship. He's much more attuned to aging these days. He worries about Fine Lines and Wrinkles and Bags Under Eyes. He is good looking, and it is interesting to see that beautiful men worry about their looks too. Most of the time, I'm okay with him being the one everyone stops and stares at when we walk into a room. Really. Most of the time. Unless I worked really hard. ;)

(ok well actually I had danced my arse off when this pic was taken.)

Honestly I am really okay with it all. With having "another one," with being another year older. With things heading south and with dimples in odd places. Because I believe those silly clichés are true: age is just number. It's not the years in your life, but the life in your years. Make 'em count. And the crazy thing is, the less I worry, the younger I feel.

Oh....well sure, sure; I get annoyed at how impossibly long some things take me now. Things that, in my 20s, I could knock out in a few hours. Yard work comes to mind. Gardening. Rearranging furniture. Assembling things.

Losing weight. Toning up. (Ugh)

"If we didn't use this calendar system, tomorrow wouldn't even be your birthday, maybe!" says Yin. We are walking on my lunch hour, for exercise, because it's summertime practically and we're all dressing down -it's "casual summer office wear" in the South. (Not that Yin isn't wearing shorts and a tee shirt most days anyway. Darned self-employed people. Grumble) Anyway, it's too hot to eat a big lunch....and there's a great nature trail just steps from my office building.

And let's be honest: exercising at night after a full day's work goes on that list of things that are harder to do, too.

So tomorrow's agenda looks like this: wake up with dogs at 6am. (ugh) go back to sleep by 6:30 (yay) alarm goes off at 715 (ugh) HIT THE SNOOZE 'cause I'm off of work (yay)...leisurely coffee.....play with dogs....load kayak....hang out with Yin.....and go see the manatees. Floating, thinking. Some talking, some silence. Maybe there will be some book reading. Maybe I'll download a new album. Maybe I'll write a sentence or two.

(Aaaaahhhhhhh. Zen.)

All I know is I'm here and life is good.

"A seasoned woman is spicy. She has been marinated in life experience. She is at the peak of her influence and power. She is committed to living fully and passionately in the second half of life, despite failures and false starts." -Gail Sheehy

“I have learned that we should never settle for someone else’s definition of who we can be. Growing to this age, I realize, is kind of like feeling your voice deepen. It’s still your voice, but it has more substance, and it sounds like it knows its own origins.” - Susan Sarandon

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”