Friday, January 23, 2009

The Decision

Since my last rehab appointment at Marionjoy in December I have been trying to make a decision. Should I continue (at a great cost) or keep saving as much as I can for the "economic downturn" so we have some backup in case we get slow at the shop. With both of us working there, it would be a hardship if that happens. I have insurance but have to meet the deductable again, which means that dreaded "out-of-pocket" expense. An easy decision would be to just quit. It is very frustrating to go to these sessions. It magnifies all the things that I have problems with by doing specific exercises to help those areas of brain function. After a brain injury, in your every day routine, you normally do the same things, don't go beyond what you know you can do. Sometimes stretching the brain a little to complete a project or learn something new (which is very hard now). That is a way of protecting yourself. You don't let yourself feel inadequate. It's too big of a downer. I don't like to feel bad. But taking a test to see what your brain isn't doing anymore shows you what is missing.
After an injury, the brain is capable in some instances of retraining itself for about a year. If you are not improving after a year, you probably won't. It has been over six months since the accident. I have six more months to see what I can do. Oh yeah. Age is against me too. Brains over forty are much harder to heal.
Helping people through natural medicine has been a dream of mine for almost six years. I know right now I'm not capable of studying & retaining information. I also know that I may never be able to. But, if I don't try, I will never know. So that is my decision. I'll go back to Marionjoy.

4 comments:

As an Occupational Therapist, I'm glad you made the decision to keep up the rehab work. Has your therapist given you exercises or homework to keep your brain active between sessions? If not, ask! It's important to keep doing those things that are hard, even though they may point out your limitations, that is how your brain learns new pathways.Keep up the good work.Judy

Ho Judy,She did give me homework to do. Counting cards & exercises like putting events in order, following directions, etc. I have also started making a "chunk" list so things aren't so overwhelming. I break things to do into smaller chunks. Thanks for the encouragement. I really appreciate it!