Pages

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Don't You Just Hate It When That Happens?

Of course the Park Police would patrol the parking lot on the day I forget to take
my park pass out of the glove box and hang it on the rear view mirror.It’s easily 4”x10” and creates a distraction
for driving, not to mention an aesthetic crime.So I pack it away and pull it out every time I go to walk in the park. Well, almost every time.

I paid $90 to park on the premises for my daily hour and a half trek, when I
could park on the street all day, for free.But I felt duty bound to support the parks.Could have paid the $6 daily fee, but that’s
more expensive, and I felt proud of my official advocacy.Now with this check, paying the fine for
failure to display my parking pass, I’ll be backing them again to the tune of
$71.Gosh I feel good.

Few things are more exasperating than a parking ticket.Once, I inadvertently gave a parking
attendant an $11 tip.I thought I was
giving him two ones.Turns out it was a
ten and a one.I remember thinking he
had an odd smile when I handed him the bills.He knew.I didn’t find out until later
when I reached for the ten and it wasn’t there.Then I was the one who had the odd look.I wouldn’t call it a smile though.

I ran into a former student working at Sport Mart once.She had grown up so much in the few years
since I’d seen her!We chatted over the
cushioned insoles I needed for those aforementioned walks in the park.She seemed very knowledgeable about the
products on display and I left the store with a pricey pair of inserts, happy,
anticipating cushy comfort on my next perambulation.

I crossed the bridge, dashed into the house, and went directly to my walking
shoes to put my new hi-tech insoles in place, only to find they were tiny.I thought they were the one-size-fits-all/trim-to-fit-the-masses
type of shoe insert.But my size 9.5 clodhoppers
engulfed those petite pillows.I could
hang ten. I made a detailed search of
the packaging and a squinty-eyed second scan before I found the sizing
information printed on the upper right-hand corner in a font suitable for the
head of a pin.

Why my sweet, smart former student hadn’t thought to mention sizing to me
remains a mystery, unless I take into account her pronounced
scatter-brainedness from our past association.That was irritating.

A while ago my friend and I went to the indie theatre to see a 2:30pm
showing of the quirky and acclaimed film “Garden State,” only to find that it
had started at 2:05pm.The teenager in
the ticket booth shrugged, “Oh, sorry, the paper must have been wrong.”We watched “Jane Eyre” instead, a dark and brooding period piece of unrequited love.It was so true to the book.

A recurring aggravation is the trend at supermarkets to shuffle the locations
of their groceries.It felt like I was in
the Hunt for Red October recently, desperately seeking my favorite granola.I can think of no defensible reason why the
cereal aisle should be moved from the back-right of the store to
front-left.What’s the logic in putting
the Cheerios next to the cheese?Unless
of course you’re into alliteration.

Come to think of it, alphabetizing would be more helpful than the obscure
marketing schemes that put the color red on virtually every package and the
good stuff either too high to reach without exposing your belly, or too low to
stoop for without showing your behind.

My dentist convinced me that my teeth had become beige, instead of the bathtub
porcelain white so exceedingly desirable these days.So I bought the molded trays and peroxide
gel.But after a couple of sessions I
saw patches of white on my teeth that did not blend with the ecru to which I’d become
accustomed.I didn’t want to display a
patchwork of earth tones, so I quit using the stuff.

Next time in his office, six months later, I mentioned it.“Oh,” he said, “that’s normal.The patches are just dry spots that come
up.But they blend in quickly.No need to worry.It all evens out.”Thanks.That’s good information to have.Today.

Seems that writing the check for this parking ticket brings up such maddening
memories!It’s not my habit to dwell on such
things, but it appears that I have.How
exasperating!