Thursday, May 23, 2013

Oh, and I understand that Burger King is the place to go for retirement advice

Why haven't the first pair of idiots in this ad started planning for their kid's college fund yet? No, it's not because they don't have any money (that would make a lot more sense, and be more relatable. Can't have that.) It's because they "haven't had the time."

Sitting around drinking coffee with fellow breeders? Always time for that. Planning for your kid's ability to pay for college? There are only so many hours in the day, after all.

Not that the people who think they've got this all covered are much better. They "found out" about the "Gerber Life Plan." Because if you want to set aside money for your kid to attend college, who could possibly give you better advice than a company which specializes in selling creamed peas and carrots? And oh by the way, "it's a life insurance policy, too." Well, that's good- in my experience, there's nothing more annoying than setting aside money for college and then having the ungrateful little brat go and die on you.

Here's a quick tip, not that either pair of stupid, clueless dopes are likely to pick up on it: There are these really interesting people called bankers who know an awfully lot about setting up college funds. There are also people who work at places like ING and Edward Jones who make a living taking small amounts of money invested over a long period of time into a decent little stack. In short, there is plenty of expertise out there for you because saving for college isn't exactly a new idea.

Now, there is a caveat I must include here: Your banker or local investor probably doesn't know a thing about baby food. So if you have a question about that, you might not be able to take care of it in the same phone call you might make to check how your Gerber's fund is doing. Might take two phone calls. I kind of think it would be worth it, though.

Of course, it is your kid after all. You want to put his college education in the hands of a company whose slogan should be Fourteen Months Since Last Formula Recall, be my guest.