Sex
and Sexuality in
Islam, Part 1

A
word of caution: This article contains sexually explicit terms and
coarse language that may offend many readers. The author will not
take any responsibility in the event any reader may become upset
reading this essay. My request to them: please do refrain from reading
this essay if you are likely to be offended. You have been forewarned.

There
is more to sex in Islam than meets the eye. Do you care to know that sex
is the biggest taboo in Islam? It is a topic that is fraught with fear
and seldom discussed by the followers of Islam, except when they are in
trouble or when they go to a foreign/infidel country to 'enjoy' women
there. Islam pretends as if sexual organs do not exist either in a male
or in a female. A woman is covered from head to toe just to hide her 'awra,'
which is the Islamic vocabulary for the part of body that arouses sexual
desire in a man, or the 'shame' of her. Thus, sexual organs are shameful
parts of a body! It is a great insult to a woman to depict her entire
body as shameful. It is also a great insult to all men. Why? Because, this
gives the impression that men are like beasts that are on the street,
just on the lookout there for women to prowl on for sex. This is completely
nonsense. While living in an infidel country, I have watched millions
of kufur women dressed in very decent as well as not so decent
dresses. However, never have I seen a single man jump on a woman in the
street to copulate with her, despite her mode of dressing being aphrodisiac
or in plain word 'sexy.' The Islamic concept of sex is based on Bedouin
Arab culture, that is barbaric and uncivilized, to say the least, when
compared to today's world. This is because sex is so a 'dirty' word and
it is so 'severely' restricted in Islam that as a inquisitive person I
became extremely interested in it and devoured any written material that
dealt with sex in Islam. To my surprise, I found that so little information
is available, although there are tons and tons of books on Tafseer,
ahadith Sharia, fiqh and the list goes on for all other branches of
Islamic studies. Therefore, I had to write from scratch without much help
from Islamic/other sources. Another big surprise for me was that the restrictions
on sex for men in Islam are just superficial. There are countless loopholes
in Islamic rules, so much so that it is possible for a Muslim man, whether
married or not, to have uninterruptible supply of sex if he so desires.
But he must know the rules of the game very well, if not, then he may
fall into a great torment. There are many secrets and untold provisions
for sex in Islam that very few Mullahs will tell.

How
pleasant a quilt is in winter? Or a Chinese dish for the test buds? Good
poems, songs, arts, or sculptures immensely please a cultured mind. d
you notice that very rarely physical and mental pleasures meet in one
single element? Sex, as the climax of this type, always has been one of
the strongest driving forces of mankind, especially men. Handling of sex
by a society reflects its level and maturity. At times Islamic aspect
of human sexuality overlaps with" Status of Women," but the two are not
the same. Compared to other social/religious systems of the world, Islam
gives sex and sexual "purity" an extraordinary importance with inherent
contradictions/conflicts so much so that we may safely say that Islam
is over-obsessed, oversensitive and over-apprehensive about sex.

This
essay is an attempt to expose the hypocrisy, double standard, unfairness,
absurdity and sheer irrationality of Islam when it comes to sex. It also
examines the barbaric rules that Islam inflicts on innocent people for
having a simple sexually satisfying relationship whether one is married
or not that Islam unjustly and illogically construes as 'haram.' One
must not forget however how crucial sex is in our life. In the first place,
without sex, none of us will be in this world for sure. Darwinian evolution
would have stopped eons ago! So think about it for a moment.

Let
us begin with the first principle of Islamic sex for men, that is:

Have
virgins for fun and frolic

In
Islam, keeping the virginity is the highest asset that a woman could possess.
There is no crime/sin as despicable as that of losing the virginity before
a woman is married. The thought of indulging in pre-marital sex by an
adult woman is absolutely unthinkable in Islam (For men it is a different
story altogether. As we shall see later, it is possible for an unmarried
Muslim man to be engaged in sex with slave-girls/captive/infidel women
but not with free Muslim women). Mind you, premarital sex is a serious
crime that may involve severe punishment for the offender; one hundred
Islamic lashing for the unmarried woman (or man) and stoning to death
for the married woman (or man). This punishment is hudud, which
means that there is no way the offender can escape the severity of this
kind of barbaric torment. Once the punishment has been passed down, it
must be carried out at any cost. So much for Islamic mercy and tolerance!
If you thought that I am being too critical, then please be reminded that
in Islam, homicide is not such a serious offence as sex is. That is to
say, the punishment for a murder can be commuted to other sentence like
Qias (retaliation) or Diya (blood money). Now contrast this
if you will, with the laws for sexual offences. It looks like that taking
a life is much simpler and easier than making love, especially for women,
if we go by the Islamic rules. How barbaric and at the same time myopic
view!

Who
do you think is the 'real' owner of our sexual organs, in particular the
sexual organs of women? No, it is not we, the humankinds. It is Islam. Believe
it or not, Islam owns the sexual organs of every Muslim man and woman
in this universe, all of it, including even the pubic hairs that grow
there! Here is what the ahadith say about how to manage a woman's
pubic hair.

Wife
must shave pubic hair if husband returns home at night after a long journey...7.62.173

The
Prophet said, "If you enter (your town) at night (after coming from
a journey), do not enter upon your family till the woman whose husband
was absent (from the house) shaves her pubic hair and the woman with unkempt
hair, combs her hair" Allah's Apostle further said, "(O Jabir!)
Seek to have offspring, seek to have offspring!"

Allah's
Apostle said, "Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra: circumcision,
shaving the pubic region, clipping the nails and cutting the moustaches
short."

One
may wonder why Allah is so free to look into what a human possess between
his/her two thighs. We always thought Allah has more important affairs
to attend to!

If
you ever thought that Allah gave you the sexual organ for your use as
per your desire, then perish that thought. From birth to death, from adulthood
to old age, from house to desert, every aspect of the use of your very
own private part is controlled by innumerable, mindless, cruel and oftentimes
utterly despicable Islamic rules as written in the Sharia, the
so-called divine laws of Allah. One may legitimately ask why Sharia
does not control the use of sexual organs of animals like cows, goats,
horses, pigs, lions, tigers, birds, snakes, turtles and all other species
that engage in copulation for fun and/or reproduction. It looks as if the
animals have much more freedom on sexual activities than the human beings
the best creation of Allah! Please give a serious thought on this and you
cannot but be amazed by the downright infringement by Islam on the very
basic right of a human being which is his/her privacy. The extreme barbarism
in Islam to control the innate, natural and instinctive sexual desire
and its joy is particularly aimed at keeping the virginity of women intact
at all cost even going to the extreme of execution of a woman who dare
to express her sexual desire in an un-Islamic (read pre-marital or otherwise)
way.

One
may wonder why Islam is so utterly obsessed with the virginity of women. I
often thought about this after I came to the infidel land. In this land
of 'sinners' and 'prostitutes' and 'sluts,' sex between consenting adults
is not viewed as a crime, although application of physical force for carnal
gratification may constitute a serious act of violence, which may carry
prison sentence. In an Islamic paradise, on the other hand, sex between
two opposite partners (or same sex partners) is absolutely haram whether
consensual or not. More importantly, sexual gratification by a woman outside
the bond of marriage is completely forbidden. Many Muslims who come to
live in a western society will have great difficulty in understanding
the values and ethos upon which their (the so called infidel west) concept
of sexuality of men and women are based upon. To these Muslim men, most
women who indulge in sex before their marriage are prostitutes, harlots,
and whores and are available for an easy lay. That is why a lot of devout
Muslim men have a hard time to have easy and professional relations with
the western/infidel women they meet. For a Muslim man, a non-virgin woman
is totally unthinkable for his consideration of marriage. These infidel
women are for having a good time and for 'one-night stand' only. According
to Islam, an unmarried woman must keep her sexual and reproductive organ
in complete lock under any and all circumstances till she gets married.
I gave a deep pondering over this issue of blatant deprivation of sexual
joy in the name of Allah and religion. Then, while examining the Sahi
Bukhari and Sahi Muslim, the most authentic of all ahadith, I came across
with the following gems of ahadith. I found the reason why Allah
is so paranoid on keeping intact the virginity of women at all times before
marriage. Let us read these ahadith.

Sahih
Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 16:

Narrated
Jabir bin Abdullah:

While
we were returning from a Ghazwa (Holy Battle) with the Prophet, I started
driving my camel fast, as it was a lazy camel A rider came behind me and
pricked my camel with a spear he had with him, and then my camel started
running as fast as the best camel you may see. Behold! The rider was the
Prophet himself. He said, 'What makes you in such a hurry?" I replied,
I am newly married " He said, "Did you marry a virgin or a matron?
I replied, "A matron." He said, "Why didn't you marry a
young girl so that you may play with her and she with you?" When
we were about to enter (Medina), the Prophet said, "Wait so that
you may enter (Medina) at night so that the lady of unkempt hair may comb
her hair and the one whose husband has been absent may shave her pubic
region.

Sahih
Bukhari Volume 3, Book 38, Number 504:

Narrated
Jabir bin 'Abdullah:

I was accompanying the Prophet on a journey and was riding a slow camel
that was lagging behind the others. [...] When we approached Medina, I
started going (towards my house). The Prophet said, "Where are you
going?" I said, "I have married a widow." He said, "Why
have you not married a virgin to fondle with each other?"[...]

Sahih
Muslim Book 008, Number 3459:

Jabir
b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported:

I
married a woman, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said
to me: Have you married? I said: Yes. He said: Is it a virgin or a previously
married one (widow or divorced)? I said: With a previously married one,
whereupon he said: Where had you been (away) from the amusements of virgins?
Shu'ba said: I made a mention of it to 'Amr b. Dinar and he said: I too
heard from Jabir making mention of that (that Allah's Apostle) said: Why
didn't you marry a girl, so that you might sport with her and she might
sport with you?

Please
read those three ahadith once again. What picture do we get of
a husband who is gracious enough in marrying a widow? Now contrast this
with the recommendation of Muhammad (pbuh), the Prophet of Islam. What
picture do we get of a husband who is obsessed in marrying a virgin possibly
a very young virgin for that matter? Yes, it is the picture of a husband
who is a molester, a sexual molester per se, if we say it bluntly. Remember,
this is the recommendation from the messenger of Allah, who, himself had
only one virgin girl in his harem. He must have found it exceedingly fun
to be married with a very young virgin girl. This kind of child/female/sexual
molestation must have the seal of approval of Allah, the almighty. Can
this pleasure of sexual molestation be the real reason for Allah's absolute
obsession with the virginity of young women? Can it be that Allah, Himself
loves to fondle the virgins, since we read in the Quran that He has an
abundant supply of virgin houris for His followers of Islam? Here
are a few samples of verses from the holy Qur'an to demonstrate Allah's
total fascination with the virginity of women.

044.051
As to the Righteous
(they will be) in a position of Security,

044.052
Among Gardens and Springs;

044.053Dressed in fine silk and in rich brocade, they will face each other;

044.054
So; and We shall join them to fair women
with beautiful, big, and lustrous eyes.

055.056
In them will be (Maidens), chaste, restraining
their glances, whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-

055.057
Then which of the favours of your Lord
will ye deny?-

055.058
Like unto Rubies and coral.

055.072
Companions restrained (as to their glances), in (goodly) pavilions;-

055.073
Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.074
Whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-

055.075
Then which of the favours of your Lord
will ye deny?-

056.035:
We have created (their Companions) of special creation.

056.036
And made them virgin - pure (and undefiled), -

056.037
Beloved (by nature), equal in age,-

056.038
For the Companions of the Right Hand.

078.031
Verily for the Righteous there will be
a fulfilment of (the heart's) desires;

Now
you know why one must marry a virgin and a very young woman, for that
matter. Yes, it is for fun and pleasure, similar to the enjoyment that
Allah enjoys and has reserved for the 'true' believers in His paradise.

One-night
stand

Who
needs sex in a hurry but does not want to go through the elaborate ritual
of marriage and the payment of expensive dower? Of course, many people
would love to have this kind of quickie sex without much obligations.
No wonder that there are so many women engaged in the world's oldest profession
just to meet this demand from depraved men. In modern parlance, we call
it 'one-night' stand. Believe it or not, Islam has its equivalence too!

The
Islamic counterpart of one-night stand is known as the M'uta marriage. In
this kind of contract marriage, a man simply contracts a woman to sleep
with him for a brief period only. Although the Sunnis have banned the M'uta
system, it is very much in practice among the Shiites. It is quite
possible to have a M'uta marriage every night and kick the woman
out next morning. There is no need of divorce in a M'uta marriage.
This type of marriage is a contract to sleep together and that is all. Also,
remember that though there is a restriction of up to four permanent wives
at any time, there is no such restriction on the number of temporary wives
that one can have at any given moment. In modern language, we call this
'one night stand'. M'uta marriage has absolutely no time limit either.
So, "one-night's play" is perfectly Islamic. With M'uta
system, it is possible to have unlimited, non-stop sex round the clock.
It is stated that Imam Hasan, the grandson of Muhammad (pbuh) collected
up to three hundred sex partners (the Islamic terminology is temporary
wives) besides his regular wives, to have one-night stand with them. Imam
Hasan was definitely an Islamic 'Playboy' of his time. No doubt about it! See,
how clever of Islam to have solution even for the playboys of their Ummah.

Here
I am quoting from a Sahi hadis to show how one can have concubines
for one-night stand.

Sahih
Muslim Book 008, Number 3253:

Rabi'
b. Sabra reported that his father went on an expedition with Allah's Messenger
(may peace be upon him) during the Victory of Mecca, and we stayed there
for fifteen days (i. e. for thirteen full days and a day and a night),
and Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) permitted us to contract
temporary marriage with women. So I and another person of my tribe went
out, and I was more handsome than he, whereas he was almost ugly. Each
one of us had a cloaks, My cloak was worn out, whereas the cloak of my
cousin was quite new. As we reached the lower or the upper side of Mecca,
we came across a young woman like a young smart long-necked she-camel.
We said: Is it possible that one of us may contract temporary marriage
with you? She said: What will you give me as a dower? Each one of us spread
his cloak. She began to cast a glance on both the persons. My companion
also looked at her when she was casting a glance at her side and he said:
This cloak of his is worn out, whereas my cloak is quite new. She, however,
said twice or thrice: There is no harm in (accepting) this cloak (the
old one). So I contracted temporary marriage with her, and I did not come
out (of this) until Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) declared
it forbidden.

Mu'tah
means enjoyment---(ref.6, p. 424)

MU'TAH.
Lit. "Usufruct, enjoyment." A marriage contracted for a limited period,
for a certain sum of money. Such marriages are still legal amongst the
Shi'ahs, and exist in Persia (Malcom's Persia vol.II.p. 591) to the present
day, but they are said to be unlawful by the Sunnis. They were permitted
by the Arabian Prophet at Autas, and are undoubtedly the greatest stain
upon the moral legislation but the Sunnis say that he afterwards prohibited
a mu'tah marriage at Khaibar (Vide Mishkat, book xii. Ch
iv. Pt2.).

Sexual
perversion/fetish

What
should you do when you see a sexy, voluptuous woman with her pulchritudinous
figure and your sexual desire is aroused intensely? The Islamic solution
is to hurry home to your wife and have intercourse with her immediately.
In these days of easy availability of pornographic/adult materials and
fetish objects, I wonder how many times one may have to run to one's wife/s
after watching a 'stag film' or reading a 'smut' magazine. Here is the
hadis that tells us the story.

Sahih
Muslim Book 008, Number 3240:

Jabir
reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a woman, and
so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had
sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them:
The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you
sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he
feels in his heart.

Oh,
those obligatory Ghusls

If
a man is so much obsessed with the desire of sexual gratification, then
he must clean himself by bath, the Islamic method of cleaning oneself
after sexual defilement. Imagine how many times you may have to do that
if you are influenced by fetish and hurry to your wife/s to have the 'circumcised
parts' touch each other?Here is the Islamic rule on cleansing oneself
after a sexual union.

Sahih
Muslim Book 3, Number 0684:

Abu
Musa reported:

There cropped up a difference of opinion between a group of Muhajirs (Emigrants
and a group of Ansar (Helpers) (and the point of dispute was) that the
Ansar said: The bath (because of sexual intercourse) becomes obligatory
only-when the semen spurts out or ejaculates. But the Muhajirs said: When
a man has sexual intercourse (with the woman), a bath becomes obligatory
(no matter whether or not there is seminal emission or ejaculation). Abu
Musa said: Well, I satisfy you on this (issue). He (Abu Musa, the narrator)
said: I got up (and went) to 'A'isha and sought her permission and it
was granted, and I said to her: 0 Mother, or Mother of the Faithful, I
want to ask you about a matter on which I feel shy. She said : Don't feel
shy of asking me about a thing which you can ask your mother, who gave
you birth, for I am too your mother. Upon this I said: What makes a bath
obligatory for a person ? She replied: You have come across one well informed!
The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: When anyone sits
amidst four parts (of the woman) and the circumcised parts touch each
other a bath becomes obligatory.

When
he reaches the climax but she doesn't (or vice versa)

Here
is the Islamic solution for unfulfilled or incomplete sexual pleasure. Please
amuse yourself reading these two ahadith if you have experienced
this bedroom problem.

Sahih
Muslim Book 3, Number 0677:

Ubayy
Ibn Ka'b reported:

I asked the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) about a man who
has sexual intercourse with his wife, but leaves her before orgasm. Upon
this he (the Holy Prophet) said: He should wash the secretion of his wife,
and then perform ablution and offer prayer.

Sahih
Muslim Book 3, Number 0680:

Zaid
b. Khalid al-Jubani reported that he askad Uthman b. 'Affan:

What is your opinion about the man who has sexual intercourse with his
wife, but does not experience orgasm? Uthman said: He should perform ablution
as he does for prayer, and wash his organ. 'Uthman also said : I have
heard it from the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him).