OneSadCookie name guessing contest!

Keith and his friends once played a game of dodgeball with cookies (or biscuits) and there were happy and sad cookies. One certain cookie that was most definately sad was thrown at his face. It missed and he ate four flying happy cookies. Everyone else had loads of sad cookies to eat and he only got happy cookies by the end of the day. He was upset and found the cookie that had missed him. He picked it up, found it had been trodden on and he put it on his head. Everyone then referred to him as one sad cookie. Instead of two sad cookies or three etc.

My guess is that he saw my cooking, and thought "wow, that's one sad cookie/biscuit"

But really.

My theory is that OneSadCookie is a sign from the virgin huntress herself, Artemis. He is orion reincarnate, an spends his time hunting down ATI cards and shooting them. The name itself is a tribute to the moon. the common belief is that it is made of cheese, but Artemis wanted to fix that rumor. one side is made of cookie, the other biscuit. (cheese was taken my venus). If you tilt your head sideways why it's in first or third quarter, it looks sad. Hence OneSadCookie/Biscuit.

Contrary to most people's beliefs, cookies are different from biscuits and are not just a stupid americanism of the word. Cookies are softer and they are rarely dipped into tea, with a crust that usually can be bent. Biscuits are harder and seem less soft if you get what I mean... For an extreme example, take digestives and take millies cookies variety. If you haven't a clue what I'm on about, then go to http://www.omrlp.com/ and check out their 2005 manifescto on what they will do to little children showing signs of americanism.
Or just completely ignore this post altogether...

*Is rather confused* I'm not a scholar, the post count thing recognises me as one but now I'm just :s
I'm in secondary... How does that make me a scholar?
School is evil, I had to start proper porgramming when I was nine, with codewarrior and stuff.

Which brings me up to my guess:
In South America, there is the myth of the Viracocha, the legendary civilizers. The legend appears in various forms around the region, but they all have a few traits in common. The Viracocha came from the western sea, by way of a serpent in one way or the other. They taught the natives agriculture, ways to live, to scribe laws, build houses and raise animals. They brought mastery over technology. So, thinking about the origin of the Viracocha: what would you find west of South America? Well, New Zeeland, where Keith hails from.

How does this pertain to his name? Well, first of all, Keith has really pulled the blinds on you here. OneSadCookie is a distortion of his real name. It's not supposed to be "One Sad Cookie", but rather "Once A Cookie". What, you say? Yes, it's true. Once a cookie. "But what about the legend?" Well, the name "Viracocha" may mean "Of seafoam" in the old tongue, but it is a distortion as well. It is correctly transcribed as "Were A Cookie".

Makes sense, doesn't it?
"Once a cookie".
"Were a cookie".
The civilizer from the Pacific, who came to America to teach mastery over technology.

Does that sound plausible? Well, add in the fact that "Bauer" - Keith's family name - means "farmer" in German.

Which brings me up to my guess:
In South America, there is the myth of the Viracocha, the legendary civilizers. The legend appears in various forms around the region, but they all have a few traits in common. The Viracocha came from the western sea, by way of a serpent in one way or the other. They taught the natives agriculture, ways to live, to scribe laws, build houses and raise animals. They brought mastery over technology. So, thinking about the origin of the Viracocha: what would you find west of South America? Well, New Zeeland, where Keith hails from.

How does this pertain to his name? Well, first of all, Keith has really pulled the blinds on you here. OneSadCookie is a distortion of his real name. It's not supposed to be "One Sad Cookie", but rather "Once A Cookie". What, you say? Yes, it's true. Once a cookie. "But what about the legend?" Well, the name "Viracocha" may mean "Of seafoam" in the old tongue, but it is a distortion as well. It is correctly transcribed as "Were A Cookie".

Makes sense, doesn't it?
"Once a cookie".
"Were a cookie".
The civilizer from the Pacific, who came to America to teach mastery over technology.

Does that sound plausible? Well, add in the fact that "Bauer" - Keith's family name - means "builder" in German.

Which brings me up to my guess:
In South America, there is the myth of the Viracocha, the legendary civilizers. The legend appears in various forms around the region, but they all have a few traits in common. The Viracocha came from the western sea, by way of a serpent in one way or the other. They taught the natives agriculture, ways to live, to scribe laws, build houses and raise animals. They brought mastery over technology. So, thinking about the origin of the Viracocha: what would you find west of South America? Well, New Zeeland, where Keith hails from.

How does this pertain to his name? Well, first of all, Keith has really pulled the blinds on you here. OneSadCookie is a distortion of his real name. It's not supposed to be "One Sad Cookie", but rather "Once A Cookie". What, you say? Yes, it's true. Once a cookie. "But what about the legend?" Well, the name "Viracocha" may mean "Of seafoam" in the old tongue, but it is a distortion as well. It is correctly transcribed as "Were A Cookie".

Makes sense, doesn't it?
"Once a cookie".
"Were a cookie".
The civilizer from the Pacific, who came to America to teach mastery over technology.

Does that sound plausible? Well, add in the fact that "Bauer" - Keith's family name - means "builder" in German.

"I came into this world as a muppet, Look into these eyes, you can see that they are googley.
Bigbird in his nest, and oscar in his can, Ernie is a guy, that lives with another man
HEY
Kermit's on the scene, you know it aint easy being green
But, I did it all for the cookie, hmm, the cookie, hmm, the cookie, and me can take the cookie, and stick it in my yum, stick it in my yum, stick it in my yum.
if it takes so long, why did we wait so long? To give me cookie? hmm? me got me cookie in my fur, it is blue, make me purr. Me so hungry, cuz I no have no cookie (can't understant it right here)
who has got me cookie, me just a sucker, with chocolate chip in my throat, made a mistake, I should give them a break, my heart'll ache, eat a cookie,

Cuz I did it all for the cookie, hmm, the cookie, hmm, the cookie,hmm, the cookie, hmm, the cookie hmm and me can take the cookie, and stick it in my yum, stick it in my yum, stick in my yum.

Yarg, barg, marg, garg"

Think Limp Bizkit's I did it all for the Noogie, CookieMonster style.

OSC got eaten by the cookie monster, and so he's sad. Changed his name to OneSadCookie.