Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.

When we had our son (btwn 28-29 weeks) we got to hold him about once a day. It was soo hard...not being able to hold your child, and then when we did hold him, the hubby and I took turns. So I really didn't get to hold my baby very often. :~( They told us that holding is good, but also bad b/c it can be hard on the baby. Sometimes when I look back I blame myself and think maybe we held him too much and that's why he got NEC. (Every possible scenario has run through my head) *sigh* Anyway, I was wondering how often others got to hold their babies when they were inthe NICU-esp. if they were born quite early. And when were you able to hold them more (and how much more?)

Our first son was born and passed in Feb of 2010. Born at 29 weeks due to HELLP and passed due to NEC. We miss him every day. :~(

Our second son was born at 39 weeks gestation in Nov of 2011. No HELLP or pre-e! Took LDA starting at week 12 and went off of it at week 38!

They also had rocking chairs in the NICU and my husband always wanted to rock when he was holding our son...which worried me as well b/c I thought he was too young and small to be rocking in the chair. *shrugs* (but I don't know if that's that would be an issue or not)

Our first son was born and passed in Feb of 2010. Born at 29 weeks due to HELLP and passed due to NEC. We miss him every day. :~(

Our second son was born at 39 weeks gestation in Nov of 2011. No HELLP or pre-e! Took LDA starting at week 12 and went off of it at week 38!

They barely let me hold Millie at all. Sometimes they didn't even want me to touch her! I held her on the night she was born. One time I held her in my hands briefly when they changed her position from prone to supine. One time I held her wrapped up in a warming blanket (no touching basically) and then they finally let me hold her skin to skin (chest to chest) on the day we were going to remove her oxygen (the day she died). Not nearly enough if you ask me! Back when I was in college I did an internship at **** studying kangaroo care for preemies, but they didn't let me do that until the last day. If I'd known she was going to die anyway, I would have advocated for more holding time, but I basically just did whatever they told me. So unfair that those brief moments were all we got.

I don't really consider my boys preemies because I was 36w and they were 5lbs14oz and 6lbs3oz, but Jordan (the big one at birth) did spend 4 days in the NICU. Because he only had trouble slowing his breathing, we were allowed to hold him 30 mins after he was fed and only for 30 mins at a time (I think that was it, but it's hard to remember). So the bigger and more stable they are, the more you are allowed to hold them, I guess.

I'm really only answering because I feel like you are thinking a lot about how this next go-round will be different and what you might experience! Please forgive me if I'm wrong.

My firstborn was in the NICU for four days even though he was 37 weeks, and the nurses said the same things and didn't want me holding him much. Then I read tons about kangaroo care (like kerisue said) but I had to assume it was a fringe / unsupported practice. But the March of Dimes recommends it http://www.marchofdimes.com/baby/inthen ... ocare.html . If I go on this PE roller coaster again I plan to talk to the NICU / neonatologist ahead of time and see what their views / hospital policy is on it.

I was wondering if most NICU's raise the amount of time you can hold your child as they get older...(I never got to breastfeed, so I would imagine you'd have to have some more contact in order to that(?) but then daddy wouldn't get as much time holding the baby...

Having a baby in the NICU is so hard..

Our first son was born and passed in Feb of 2010. Born at 29 weeks due to HELLP and passed due to NEC. We miss him every day. :~(

Our second son was born at 39 weeks gestation in Nov of 2011. No HELLP or pre-e! Took LDA starting at week 12 and went off of it at week 38!

Please don't blame yourself. Holding your baby did not hurt him at all. I am sad for you that you did not get to hold him more. It really depends on what all is going on with the baby on whether they will let you hold them or not. I hear about Kangaroo care all the time but we never got to do that because of chest tubes. I did not get to hold my baby for the first 5 days and just barely after that and he still got NEC. Thankfully he recovered. Please don't blame yourself NEC is horrible and is just from the prematurity there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. ((hugs))

That is strange that so many were not able to hold their baby much. My son was born at just under 34 weeks, so he was just under 4 lbs, so maybe it was due to his size and being pretty stabile, but we were always encouraged to hold him. I know the early days in the NICU we did kangaroo care once, and otherwise they always let us take turns holding him. I also remember they wanted us to help with the temp readings and diaper changes on one of our very first visits--to help us feel a part of his care. He was in the NICU for 2 weeks I think and that was never an issue.