Courtney Stodden Says She Has A Sex Tape Now. Of Course.

For reasons that I’m sure have nothing to do with a former Teen Mom star squirting all over James Deen being a popular topic for roughly 7-10 days, Courtney Stodden now says she made a sex tape. Only it’s apparently just of her masturbating and on VHS because she’s 47 and knows what VHS is. E! News reports:

The tape, Stodden tells us at the Shekhar Rahate fashion show in Los Angeles Thursday, is “not out in the media” nor is it on her computer, and she advises wannabe hackers not to get their hopes up.
“Hackers, don’t even go there cause you’ll find nothing,” Doug Hutchison’s wife tells us about poking around her computer.
As for what’s on the tape, it’s “just me,” she claims, adding that it wasn’t shot too long ago. “I turned 18 in August, so you do the math.”

Ha! Nice try, Courtney Stodden, but it’s going to take a lot more than pretending to have a sex tape to make the Internet start writing about you agai– Goddammit.