Where Miss Snark vented her wrath on the hapless world of writers and crushed them to sand beneath her T.Rexual heels of stiletto snark. The blog is dark--no further updates after 5/20/2007.

7.04.2005

Miss Snark confesses she is ..yes...compulsive

Miss Snark has survived another four day weekend.While others on the jitney were loaded down withtrashy romance novels (buy more! buy more!Miss Snark encouraged) or some weighty "look howsmart I am" tome, Miss Snark was haulingmanuscripts.

No need for strength conditioning when youare an agent. Lifting the daily submission pilecounts for abs, pecs and thighs. That is whatMiss Snark tells those pushy lads at NYSCand she's sticking to it.

So, you might ask, what's the big fucking deal Snark Breath?It's not like this is the final version heading to the printers.You know it's "safe deposit box" and so would a copy editor.If I write "safety deposit box" you KNOW what I mean, and so does any editor. Why are your panties in a wad?

Ah, dear prospective client, let me tell you why.

It shows you care about your work. It's like brushing your teeth before a date,and polishing your shoes before a job interview.

Now, hard as this may be to believe, Miss Snarkis obsessive/compulsive/anal and persnickety.In fact, Miss Snark's mother's maiden name was Persnickety, so it's bred in the bone.

Being the current embodiment of the Persnickety line,Miss Snark's attention leaps to all errors in manuscripts.

This is NOT a good thing if you are trying to enfold me in a story.If your heroine is engaging in a mad passionate love affairwith a porcupine, and you spell it porkypine, trust me,the mood has been broken.

It's like being able to see a ballerina sweat.....it's reallyhard to appreciate the grace when you see the effort.

Good spelling, good formatting is the ballet equivalentof making it look effortless.

Read it more than once. Have someone with an eagle eyeread it more than once. Pay for that if you have to.

All we see is what you write.Tie your shoes.Brush your teeth.And for gawdsake, back to the barre!

4 comments:

Listen, Snark, not every writer is seeking to be 'graceful'...and I certainly do not want all of the books I read to have seemed to 'effortlessly' flow from the pen. An artist may have to write clumsily in order to best reveal his vison...'polish' may the be antithesis of his message...can't you recognise the raw, real flow whence cometh all this...can't u see it in any form, does the work HAVE to be governed by "reason, that fat wingless slug",as Henry Miller said it? Damn...yr so rashanal u mite ev'n b FRENCH!

I think Ms. Snark is right, and that's what concerns me. At the risk of being snarked, I'm going to come clean about this.

Our brains have two halves. Some of us are born with an orientation. One side or the other. I am a writer, and I am, have always been a right brainer. I struggle to focus on details because I think in concepts. Although I'm very good with misspellings, I can read right over an extra phrase or a missing word, not only in my own writing but in others' as well.

In spite of the best efforts of my critique group and myself, I just submitted my manuscript to a legendary agent and it, I realize, does include at least a dozen such oversights. Is a colorblind woman required to coordinate not only her wardrobe but thousands of others? (For a book is very long ensemble indeed.) Or can she be forgiven the occasional mishap?