Although this happened on facebook, and isn't really dating, per se, I thought it best fit here. If this isn't the best thread for it, please feel free to move it moderators.

About a year ago, I got a message in the "other" folder on facebook. It was from a woman purporting to be an 'old high school friend'. I didn't recognize the name at all. I had my profile unsearchable. The message was a little weird, referencing an old song and discussing how she used to think about me when that song played. it was kind of flirty and skeeved me out. I never wrote this person back , because I didn't know them.

It turned out that this woman had been my younger brother's GF for a short while and has since changed both her first and last name, which is why I didn't recognize it. When she contacted him, she didn't mention her old name so he had no idea who she was at first. Then when she contacted me, she also didn't mention her old name at all. She was able to send me a message because he doesn't have privacy settings on his friends list.

Fast forward to last month. There was another message from her in my 'other' folder. This time it mentioned her old name and also that she'd really like to get together and how she was always thinking about me while she was dating my brother... I found it incredibly creepy. It's been over 35 years and I only met her a couple times when they were dating all those years ago.

Thanks for sticking around until the end of the post. Is it polite of me to keep ignoring these messages?

It's not impolite to ignore people who are, in essence, harassing you. It would be impolite if you responded and went off on this woman on an angry tirade about how you didn't want to be disturbed, she wasn't your friend, leave you alone, etc. But it doesn't sound like that's the type of person you are. A simple block isn't rude at all.

In every form of etiquette, you get to decide who you will be in contact with. and given that you have no other connection to her, and therefore no onlooker to be made uncomfortable, go ahead and block her.

You COULD also say, "Thank you for the invitation but I'm not interested in getting together," which at least lets her know you're um... not interested. And frankly, I agree that it's weird, so the response (even rejection) might just encourage her.

But if you're not comfortable responding at all, I don't think it's rude of you to just ignore it.

"Hi, remember me? I want you," is just not the way to refresh a friendship.

Logged

My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."