On Mission near 17th there’s a handwritten sign in a store window that reads:

Make
Copy’s
Key’s

Q: Can you spot the gramatical errors on the above sign?A: No. There are so many problems it’s impossible to assign a concrete number. For example, should the sign say “We make copies of keys”? Or maybe it could simply read “Keys copied”? Regardless, there’s more than one correct answer. The only thing we can say for certain is that apostrophes should not be involved.

Chains? U-locks? Bicycle frames with built-in locking mechanisms? Sure, you could use any of these methods in prevention of bicycle thievery. But one enterprising local has apparently discovered a new way to secure your bicycle: toilet paper.

If potential thieves can even spot your bike under the shroud of TP, will they be able to tear through it all before the cops arrive? Probably not — as anyone who’s ever suffered a TP attack can tell you, it takes a while to clean it all up.

Lately Clarion Alley has been hit by wave after wave of vandalism. Yes, this is why we can’t have nice things.

I’ve been curious as to how long it’d take before the wonderful Lone Star Swan mural would get defaced, and unfortunately I now have the answer. Over the past few days, some piece of human shit came in and spray painted their fucking tag all over the entire mural.

Taggers are like dogs that use spray paint to mark their territory instead of urine. At least piss washes off, a fact that places taggers a few steps below dogs in the intelligence ladder.

If you taggers insist on ruining art, at least have the decency to replace it with something meaningful. Perhaps a new piece, or some kind of social commentary? For fuck’s sake, it’s not that hard to add value instead of just shitting on other people’s work. Grow up.