TWO PUMP CHUMPS: A NEUROCRATIC RANT FROM THE PULPIT OF FRATER B.c.i.

Remember America before 9/11/2001? It was a lot more fun. Well, if you haven’t noticed, fun’s over. And for some of you, that’s ok. But for those mavericks, like me, who enjoy plying their freedoms more flamboyantly, we’re about to start making it fun again. We’re boning up.

Remember the good old days when we could train thugs and furnish them with weapons to covertly achieve our national goals without a thought for what the future might hold? Do you see how Muammar Gaddafi’s family has strapped on US government for years now? Why wouldn’t they? We helped raise them into the nation they are! Look at them now! Remember when the CIA primed Bin Laden’s pump? Of course you don’t. So many examples to choose from, but I won’t bore you with the minutia of it all.

Yesterday, on the anniversary of this event, radio stations throughout America were asking ‘how we can honor the victims (victors?) of 9/11?’ And to them, we say this: to truly honor these ghosts would be to shatter America’s illusion of value and character. For in order to achieve this goal, we’d need to recognize and add these dead as victims of the most pernicious brand of Hollywood style advertising. Yes, Hollywood, the capital of bullshit and greed- these, dear patriots, are the very cornerstones of our porcine society. See how often instances of bullshit and business occur simultaneously and are intertwined? When you begin to SEE, a pattern emerges. These entities have convinced you that you’ve got free will, that you aren’t simply a US guinea pig. Ultimately, to truly honor these victims you’d need to place them alongside the hordes that died for similar American atrocities perpetrated- and perpetuated- not only outside of our borders BUT WITHIN THEM AS WELL: crimes FOR our people, UPON our people. I won’t even go there, but rest assured your flu shot isn’t just a flu shot and Bayer doesn’t just produce aspirin!

There are continued attacks on US if only for the fact that we haven’t learned that using and discarding allies and persons according to- and dictated by- inexhaustible hunger JUST ISN’T NEIGHBORLY. Although many of us aren’t willing to give up a life of total convenience and availability. Why, we would never willingly forgo driving our cars for a year or scale back on the number of cars our families have, but we complain incessantly about rising petroleum prices. Until you learn to CHUMP THE PUMP, you’ll be headed to certain extinction while engaged in excruciating topical debate.

What would happen if we all gave up soda pop and fast food for one month? One year?

What would happen if you sold your plasma screen? Stopped paying for entertainment?

What if we strictly limited the number of offspring we created?

How dare I even suggest it! Why… this whole bullshit caulk and stucco card house would collapse!

And maybe someone, somewhere else… in some nightmare paradise, some godforsaken jungle… would be able to breathe again.

We must seriously consider how we behave abroad. If we can’t mind our manners with each other, I know we aren’t going out of our way to be polite elsewhere. We should just stay home, caged and plugged.

By now, the Democratic Party has voted four times to remove “God” from its platform and adopt one in which “God” has been replaced with “Stupid.” They’ve become just as brain-dead as the Republicans, as we can all see. Look… who really cares if you’re a bottom in a homosexual marriage? And why would you care? If you care so much, maybe you should bottom a few hundred times and then get back to me.

At least the Democrats want abortions. And we agree: lots and lots of abortions. Abortion and inversion are the secret ingredients that will make our national recipe strong again! Tax dollars for TGs? Why not? Let’s consider that they’ll only be able to use their sex organs for pleasure and not procreation. That’s an incentive right there! Zero population growth is the only feasible goal for a world out of control. Let’s use tax dollars for abortions and euthanasia and sex changes and castrations and what’s left over we can use for schools, communist social programming and in the promotion of homosexuality! Heck, there’s several trillion missing from the national coffers, and no one’s making a peep about that! Why shouldn’t we put our best finger forward investing in the future of the earth? If someone wants a sex change, I say give it to ‘em… but make those bitches sexy andDON’T BUNGLE IT, FOR GOD’S SAKE! It’s the least we can do. We give $$$$ freely to future enemies, and other strangers: that’s called foreign aid.Let’s just face it, as long as you pay taxes it’s never going where YOU think. So, either we should dismantle the structure completely or accept this truism and move on.

With that being stated, please… follow me…

During yet another bogus 9/11 memorial, former President Bill Clinton, “the silver haired fox, the smooth seducer” (according to CNN) campaigned for President Obama applying his tactics to seduce your already sleeping mind. How? By impeccably styling his hair, wearing that tasteful cranberry red Armani tie and custom-tailored, slate grey suit. And, more than likely, moisturizing his pillowy lips with the vagina of some starry-eyed young journalist right before he went on camera. Oh yes, he’s wowing you… with the way the light plays off his hair… and how his hair contrasts with his sparkling blue, bedroom eyes. Oh he’s smooth alright. And he’s still throwing his opinions out there, trying to transform his bulging pockets and ‘the America you’ve come to expect’ behind the scenes. He’s probably whispering all his dirty little national secrets into the labial folds of Mrs. Obama, even as I write this.

Just kidding… she’s way too old!

But if she weren’t, this would be a good choice, because she’s obviously the one that wears the designer pants in that family. But, never fear, ye steel-wristed Republicans! Ronald Reagan’s also doing the same thing on your side… from the other side… slobbering his sedative-infused ectoplasm into some crackpot billionaire’s ear.

The Milker, oil on canvas, 1992 copyright GPD

It’s going to be 2017 before you know it, and Mr. Obama won’t be around anymore. Hillary Clinton will more than likely be ruling with an iron snatch and, I can assure you, “the silver fox” won’t be whispering a damned thing into it.

So what now?

Maybe we should hire Gayle King and her Sapphic paramour to tap out their new age messages for world domination and personal financial enrichment on Hillary’s leathery lady-parts in some Venusian code that we flesh and blood men-folk can’t comprehend. While she’s busy with those two, Ms. Clinton can covertly slide the national check book over to her smooth seducer and his team of fiscal consorts for balancing; he seems to have a knack. Sure, he was guilty of going to bed with the Chinese… but let’s be fair… who doesn’t want to give some tiny, Asiatic hottie-on-the-potty a screaming hot blumpkin (and more)!? Rod-ham and Don Turnip (and even that other guy) are all good politicians- not meaning good like just or wise– but rather, good at playing the game, confusing you with their authoritative gestures, their ravaged and repackaged skins. They’re good at plying you with their down-home verbiage. They’re phenomenal at expanding their portfolios. They want you to think they’re just like mom, dad, grandpa or whatever other schmuck you can think of. Don’t be confused! They aren’t like you and don’t give a twig and two berries about your interests. Neither do I for that matter. But, THEY want you to keep polishing this turd instead of flushing it completely and starting springtime fresh. Why? Because they’re making a killing on their turd wax monopoly.

That, my friends, is called ‘the business end.’

There are those of us who have fallen into the unthinking masses who dishonor the lives of the martyrs of true freedom and rugged individualism by falling in line with our to-go bags of Bullshit American Style.

This has strengthened those of us who stand on the outside of the scam and informed our course of action.

These buffoons’ blindnesses and bigotries fortify our hopes for breaching their shields of protection, compromising their security, in order to land our hallowed points.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Your vote.

Your vote who?

?????

We seriously need to slap the shit out of the America that the victims of the 9/11’s- and 7/11’s- have died for, because that America has set us all up for failure. America’s greatness lies. We are like crabs in a bucket, climbing all over one another, pinching the fuck out of everything on top of us to free ourselves while all the ones at the bottom get defecated on the most. Any true hope for the world lies, not in US my friend, but in the greatness of Denmark. Now bow your head in shame.

“If we forget who we were, who we are, then we MIGHT just be able to get somewhere.” – Ronald Reagan in a fit of dementia