...sometimes broken things make the best building supplies.
and we'll keep on building.
hearts aren't made of glass,
they're made of muscle, and blood, and something else.
and they don't so much as break, as bend and tear.
we have what it takes to keep it together;
and move on.
--Defiance, Ohio

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Communication Exercises

I woke up to 3 emails from my husband this morning. One asking me to be his friend on Facebook, another message on Facebook, and this one.

I have been reviewing some notes I took on how to be more effective with our communication. Some from my counselor and some from Tom & Ann.

I really liked some of the exercises that Tom & Ann gave us to do. Maybe, we could try some of them again?

It also got me thinking about filters, and we both seem to have them, I think everybody does. Either way, we say things to each other and the other person hears something completely different.

One of the exercises is "so, what I hear you saying is....". I think that this would be an excellent time for us to begin communicating this way with each other. I think that sometimes even written words for us can be misinterpreted, or heard incorrectly. I often review our text conversations to see if I have been clear with my message. Anyhow, these were just a few thoughts that I had, and I wanted to share them with you.

Let me know your thoughts?

Love,

J

-

J,

I think your communication was pretty clear on Sunday when you called me a slut again and again and again. Your body language was also VERY clear.

It's going to take a long time for me to get past that.

You need to back off. I received 3 emails, 57 texts, and 5 phone calls from you yesterday, after you repeatedly told me you were going to give me some space. I realize there are some things we need to talk about, but that's just too much right now.

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About Me

This blog is for anyone who has been affected by alcoholism or addiction.
It is my attempt at breaking the cycle of addiction and unnecessary abuse before it hits my own children.
I take a woman-centered approach to healing my life.
"Most important is that we not identify ourselves with such labels as codependent or addict, or get stuck in chronic recovery as if we were constantly in need of fixing.
The goal is to heal and move on, embrace life's ups and downs, and move from recovery to discovery. Then we can break through the limitation imposed by hierarchy, work together for a just society, and free our capacity for courage, joy, power, and love." - Charlotte Davis Kasl

I Promise Myself: Making a Commitment to Yourself and Your Dreams - Patricia Lynn Reilly

The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure: A Holistic Approach to Total Recovery - Chris Prentiss

Meditation as Medicine - Dharma Singh Khalsa, MD and Cameron Stauth

beautiful boy: a father's journey through his son's addiction - David Sheff

Imagineawoman.com

....it's been such a hard season,and the bridges we burned might be all we had to keep us from drowning. but at least we had this time; and i'd like to think we're better off for it. i'll remember this. sometimes broken things make the best building supplies. and we'll keep on building. hearts aren't made of glass, they're made of muscle, and blood, and something else. and they don't so much as break, as bend and tear. we have what it takes to keep it together; and move on.
--Defiance, Ohio