"Well, it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet… but man (laughs). So to answer your question, I don't know." – Homer Simpson, "A Fish Called Selma"

Crackberry

Through no lobbying, need or desire on my part, my employer has foisted a new Blackberry upon me. This means, through the magic of the Blackberry 7290, I’m shackled via this virtual umbilical cord to my office all hours of the day.

Send emailed condolences if you must, but I’m only answering them during business hours, I swear to God.