'What I want Kate Middleton to know about life with three kids'

By Alissa Warren| 2 years ago

It's a royal challenge

In a matter of days, if not hours, the world’s most famous royal family will be a little bigger... and a little more chaotic.
Forget the Royal Wedding. Pfft. Our favourite oldest-newest duchess, Kate Middleton, is preparing to have her third baby with Prince William RIGHT NOW. A sibling for four-year-old George and two-year-old Charlotte, just a few pushes from reality.
Three kids.

I also had three under five. It throws the whole family into a wonderful spin and there’s no escape from it. Not even Buckingham Palace can save you.

The Cambridges will soon be a family of five. (Getty)
It goes a lot like this:
1. Low on numbers

You are woefully outnumbered and there’s no reprieve. It’s like playing in an uneven team. Forever.

2. Hippy hips

Like, in case you didn’t have them now you’ve had three kids, you’re about to.

The skill of carrying a toddler, a child and a baby sounds insurmountable until you actually need to do it in the world’s most inconvenient places: a busy carpark, or through a muddy bog at the park, or through a puddle of child’s vomit in a café – your child’s. Good times.

There's a lot more kid-wrangling where this came from, Kate. (Getty)3. Where did all the babysitters go?

Seriously. The amount of people willing to ‘do you a favour’ and ‘mind the kids’ while you ‘pop out to the supermarket/dinner/chemist’ dwindles rather rapidly. In fact, it plummets.

4. Van city

Yes, your new family will fit compactly into a car. Perfection. But what if someone wants to bring a friend? If it hasn’t started, it will. Go big. Or stay home.

Scooters become your new best friend. They wear out the top two kids, while allowing you to take the baby for a walk. Invest in many types of moving child-friendly vehicles. Bikes. Scooters. Trikes. A ride-on Thomas the Tank. A full bike rack will save you.

6. Fewer photos

There’s not much time to take pics – but you must! Because if you don’t remember to actually do it, you just don’t. Everyone is too busy but it’s so, so important. Get snap happy.

Did he even take paternity leave? Yeah, probably not. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be the busiest.

Yes, that’s right. Dad should be busiest. Because while Mum’s busy feeding/pumping/settling/sleeping, there’s two other little people in the house who don’t care and need to get their wiggles out. Dad’s job. Refer to point number 5.

These little talking puppies become your best mates. You will never watch as much TV in the first six months as you will in your entire life. Dora. Peter Rabbit. Bring them all in. Welcome.

9. Stress

According to a survey of 7000 American mothers by Today Mums, the most stressed mother is the one with three kids. On a scale of one to 10 (with 10 being the most stressed), these mums rated their stress levels an 8.5.

The main reason? Sixty per cent of these mums say they never had enough time to get everything done.

Life with three kids won't look like this, not at first. (Getty)

10. You'll never get everything done

Nothing is ever finished. Probably because you’ve run out of time or you’ve asked someone else to do it and it’s just NOT HOW YOU’D DO IT. Let it go.

Having three kids is like some sort of game show challenge. It is a life of highs and lows.

Most days, a mum-of-three will get the most joyous smile from her baby one minute and be washing skiddies off her toddler's undies the next, while the other kid is eating an Easter egg that’s been sitting in the garden for about eight months.

Royal baby number three is due any day now. Good luck, Cambridge family. (Getty)
It’s a big mixed bag. A daily load of washing. More meals. Tantrums. Emotions. Stocking the fridge like a proper family. Potty training while breastfeeding. Wrapping kids' party presents. Sterilising. Patting. Reading itty-bitty instructions on the side of a Panadol bottle. Packing pre-school bags. Napping.

But there’s a way out. The study mentioned above states that a mother’s stress levels decrease with every child a she has after the third. It worked for me. If you’re in it, you may as well be in it.

For now, we watch and wait as Kate Middleton embarks on motherhood’s biggest challenge: three under five.
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