Only in America could a man assault a journalist and end up winning an election. Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs was reportedly “grabbed...by the neck with both hands and slammed...into the ground,” by newly elected Representative Greg Gianforte in Bozeman a day before Montana’s special election for the lone, at-large House seat. Gianforte started punching Jacobs while on the ground, according to a Fox News crew that witnessed the attack and cooperated with authorities.

Gallatin County Attorney Marty Lambert said he would have to review the case before commenting on whether the misdemeanor assault charge was appropriate, but he can alter the charge if he feels it’s necessary.

“I understand this young man went to the hospital...I only know about the case from watching the media and reading the newspaper,” he informed.

Lambert is in his 34th year as the Gallatin County Attorney and said he has “no reason to take issue with” Gootkin’s decision.

“The sheriff and the deputies that work for him have a lot of integrity...to my knowledge the investigation was thorough,” Lambert said.

Of the roughly 377,500 votes cast in the Montana special election for the at-large House seat, nearly 70 percent were submitted prior to the alleged assault occurring. So Montanans now realize how early voting can be bad. There is no recourse for the Montana Democratic Party, either, which comes through loud and clear in the statement they released, Friday. You cannot recall a federal official thanks to the U.S. Constitution, and a Constitutional Amendment would be highly unlikely. Montanans who want to take back their vote for Gianforte must wait until 2020 to do so.

The biggest problem I have with this Montana special election fiasco isn’t that I’m a journalist and fear this will happen to me or more of my fellow journalists. It will. It’s not that Gianforte won the election. I expected that. Had he lost having received more than five times in outside contributions ($5.6 million) than his opponent, Rob Quist, it would have been national news even if the alleged assault had not occurred. It’s not that there’s no recourse for the Democratic Party or those who would have changed their early vote given the incident. But had anyone of us done what Gianforte did in a professional setting we’d be fired on the spot, and Congressmen and women don’t get fired. Whether it’s assault or murder, an elected, federal official will remain an official until the end of his or her term, barring a resignation.

Gianforte was on the clock, so to speak, when prepping for a Fox News interview on Wednesday. Ben Jacobs was simply doing his job and asked a simple question with no audible malice in his voice. Ben Jacobs acted professionally, and Gianforte responded like a bully. The saddest thing that has come from this is the number of people openly supporting the bully and demonizing the bullied. It’s not a good look for Montana or America.

The questions won’t get easier for Gianforte, so he’ll have to do something about that temper, or the D.C. press will chew him up and spit him out. I don’t foresee a long political career in Gianforte’s future, though, and when he’s up for reelection three years from now, I hope Montanans and the media don’t forget his unprofessionalism and irresponsibility. I don’t think I’ve been more ashamed to call Montana home or more happy to live and work in Minnesota.

Here you see them using divide and conquer to gain control of the chaos that politicians and the media are allied in creating (Mark 3:25).

We see these officials act rather strange after these “terror attacks.” They seem to conglomerate on cue and ally themselves to condemn the acts, but not the actors. In the end, they ask the people to give up their rights while attempting to disarm them for the “global good.” Additionally, they attempt to forge new powers against the very people they are supposed to represent.

When are Americans going to figure out that this is a global initiative? This leads us to ask who the real terrorists are. They are nothing but an allied group of “useful idiots,” which will be disannulled (Isaiah 28:18).

Yet, she is in a country that is disarmed by their government while being subjected to a foreign enemy without and overtaken by those who are committing the acts of terror, but continues her rhetoric (Romans 1:22).

People actually pay money to listen to this filth from an uneducated, indoctrinated fool that thinks that she is a representative of the American people.

Are these America’s representatives? Are these the real lawless legislators to the up and coming generation who are being used to change the laws of society? (Psalm 94:20) You better know that they are (Isaiah 14; Ezekiel 28:12-13)

“Let me make the songs of a nation and I care not who makes its laws.” – Plato quoted by Grout, Donald J. A History of Western Music, 1973. p. 8

While Birdman might sleep on a million dollars cash, you can get intimate with your money without sleeping with it. That’s a more lustful relationship with money than it is intimate anyways. The relationship I’m talking about is one that allows your money to give back.

Bring a Money Monitor into the Bedroom

Having someone or something monitor your money habits might sound a little uncomfortable. There they are, looking lustfully at your money, salivating perhaps. But there’s really no need to worry. While online money monitors connect to your bank and credit accounts, their interest is to sell you their money management plans -- not steal your money.

I used both LearnVest and Personal Capital, and I prefer LearnVest because it does more of the work for you. You can just make yourself comfortable and let her take control, so to speak. While LearnVest has a hard time determining from where your money comes and goes, she attempts to organize it in three key areas: income, fixed costs and flex spending. Personal Capital simply puts your money into two categories: assets and liabilities. So I like that LearnVest lets me know how much money I’m spending on things I might not need.

LearnVest can easily identify your income and does a pretty good job of doing so (unless your income doesn’t show up in your bank account via direct deposit). It’s the debits that cause a problem for LearnVest. Some electronic withdrawals aren’t very specific. For example, an auto-payment to a Chase credit card of mine simply comes up as Chase Bank in my bank statement. That was one of many transactions I had to put in the “Credit Card Payments” folder. You can even create a folder for regular expenses that don’t fall under broad descriptions like transportation, travel, gifts, groceries, shopping and home.

LearnVest also has the easier user interface of the two money monitors. There’s no struggling with the bra on this software. Pretty much anyone can figure her out, and she allows you to set priority goals like paying off credit card or student loan debt.

The busty, budget monitor is a really nice feature, too. She let’s you know if you’re in the black or in the red, and by how much. You can even set expected income and expenses and budget for specific things like eating out, transportation, travel and entertainment.

The best thing about bringing LearnVest into the bedroom is it will help you save and better invest your money for retirement. Now she’s not going to whisper hot, stock tips while nibbling on your ear, but by monitoring your money together, you get a better understanding of where it goes and where it could go.

Get Intimate with Your Money Outside the Bedroom

Spice up your relationship with your money by trying new things in new places. You can’t spend all day in the bedroom with your money. Your money needs to get out in order to make money for you. And you don’t need a chaperone, either. You can control your financial future and retirement planning without the help of an investment banker. Just read this first. Then check out Stash. Stash allows you to build a portfolio based on the things you love, so you’ll feel good about where your money is going when she’s not with you.

Stash groups similar companies together in exchange-traded funds (ETFs) so you can invest in an industry rather than a single company. An ETF is a marketable security that tracks an index, a commodity, bonds, or a basket of assets like an index fund. Unlike mutual funds, though, an ETF trades like a common stock on a stock exchange, so prices change throughout the day.

So if you’re into technology, you can invest in the “Techie” ETF on Stash. If you’re into social media, you can invest in the “Trendsetter” ETF, and so on. Stash is a great way for young people to start preparing for their retirement without needing a lot of investment knowledge or a large investment. You can get started for as little as $5, and you can set it and forget it with Stash. Regardless of how much trading you do, you’ll pay $1 per month to Stash, and twelve bucks a year is pretty cheap considering individual trade commissions range from $4.95 to $6.95 each.

Whether you’re a recent graduate looking to begin growing the very little money you have or an experienced stock trader looking to invest over $100,000, there’s an online stock broker that’s right for you. Nerd Wallet has again knocked it out of the park and reviewed every online stock broker for you. But there’s even more you can do to grow your relationship with your money.

Bring an Investment Manager into the Bedroom

If your money is too much to manage by yourself or with a money monitor, it might be time to bring another person into the bedroom. An investment manager can design an investment strategy that will hopefully meet your retirement goals. I say hopefully because not all investment managers are reliable in the bedroom, and I certainly wouldn’t pay one doesn’t perform.

If you live near a metropolitan area, your best bet is to sit down with a local agent of a few online brokerages. There’s a Charles Schwab and Scottrade office near me, so I’ll be visiting with their staff next week to see which one I like more. I’m leaning toward Charles Schwab because of their commission-free ETF options, but you never know what these people are willing to offer once you’re on the way out the door with your money. Do your research before you sit down with these people, though. Have an idea of what you’d like to do with your money, how risky an investment you’re willing to make and how often you intend to trade. You don’t want to bring another person into the bedroom without warming-up to them a bit first.

If you live in a rural area, you’ll probably have one investment advisor in the whole town if you’re lucky. But it doesn’t cost anything to schedule an appointment and just chat about your plans for retirement. You might even learn something you didn’t realize just by uttering your retirement plans aloud.

Whatever you do, don’t commit to anything or sign anything, open an account or hand over any money based on your initial interaction with this person. First of all, these people are selling themselves in order to have an affair with your money. They aren’t who they seem, and you don’t want to realize that once they’re in the bedroom disrobing your money and tossing it around like a pimp. Secondly, these people are selling themselves, so they’ll likely offer you a better deal if you play hard to get. Investment banking is highly competitive, and customers don’t come along with your stash everyday. You are special, and you have a special relationship with your money. You didn’t get intimate with your money to hand it all over to someone else. You should remain involved in the relationship going forward, so find an investor who wants you in the bedroom with her and your money.

That’s how you get intimate with your money and stay intimate with your money. Online money management services and stock trading allow you to be more involved in your retirement planning than ever. And you should stay involved, because while you can’t take it with you, your money can work for you and those you love long after you’re gone. Getting intimate with your money will payoff for generations, so sit down with your money regularly and don’t be afraid to bring someone or something new into the bedroom.