I am so confused!

Humor

Another short post. I believe that God does have a sense of humor, how else can you explain zebras? And there is this: God gave me a love of music of all kinds and there is very little that I don’t listen to (there are exceptions and they are Rap music and Opera); I love music that I find on YouTube that is older than I am and a lot of music by folks that I have never heard of. (the other shoe dropping) however God did not give me any talent to play an instrument or to sing – yep my singing voice is terrible but I still sing if the right song is playing (Under the Boardwalk by the Drifters is one of them).

Remember Slow Food?
‘Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’
‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,
I informed him.
‘All the food was slow.’
‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’
‘It was a place called ‘at
Home,” I explained. !
‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levi’s, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.
I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)
We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.
I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called ‘pizza pie.’ When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers–my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning.
On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren
Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother’s house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to ‘sprinkle’ clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5 Coffee shops or diners with table side jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8 Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11.. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels…[if you were fortunate)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15.S&H green stamps
16. Hi-fi’s
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packard’s
21. Roller skate keys
22.Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You’re still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don’t tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You’ re older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.
Don’t forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really good
OLD FRIENDS

Well we have one week until the election. Since this has been one of the most interesting elections I have seen in many years I am going to be very bored after next week. I have 2 of my blogs I dedicate to pro conservative / anti liberal and now I have to repurpose them for the next 4 years. And Twitter and Facebook. . . there will not be much to retweet and share so I guess for the next 4 years we will be inundated with cute cat pictures. . . . I would run away and join a circus but I can’t fit into that little clown car anymore.

I have noticed that the animal lovers in the family periodically say they don’t like to eat meat and lament about becoming a vegetarian. However these same people when buying dog or cat food always make sure that “real meat” is in the bag.

When shopping in the grocery store there is no sign for toilet paper; it is always labeled “Bath Tissue”. Now who in their right mind when getting into the shower would grab a roll of “Bath Tissue”? You can’t wash or dry with it, it would fall apart and be totally useless.

There are times when listening to music I always think to myself that the music from long ago had more meaning and better lyrics etc. However it is about then that I hear songs with lyrics like “ram a lama ding dong” or “alley oop boop”, “I’m shaking like a man on a fuzzy tree” and then there is return to sender; now when have you ever been able to mail a letter and have it returned the very next day – turn around on that would probably be about 5 or 6 days minimum.

I almost can’t watch the news. My heart breaks for my country. Our government is corrupt. Our politicians are disgusting. Our cities are war zones. Our economy is fledgling. Our debt is staggering. Our military is gutted. Our schools are a mess. Racial tensions are the worst I’ve seen in my life time. We can’t even figure out where to go potty. Our media is no more than a propaganda tool for the progressive movement.“They spurned my rules and their soul abhorred my statutes. I will discipline you for your sins and I will break the pride of your power” Lev 26.. ya think there might be a spiritual problem in our country? We are reaping now what we have sown. The downward spiral can’t be fixed with money or politics.

Duke Hergatt Thank you for the confidence. My calling is preaching and to be a voice of warning. From our church came out state senator, town supervisor and clerk of our county board of Supervisors. They are making a difference in my stead

It seems logical to go through the week, soooooo.

Mondays lately I watch Scorpion and NCIS LA. Even though I have always liked NCIS LA I am getting tired of it with the characters always bickering like a couple old ladies all the time. As for scorpion I kind of like the quirky personalities they have given Happy and Toby. Enough said.

Tuesdays I watch NCIS and NCIS New Orleans. I am saddened at the departure of Tony DiNozzo (Michael Weatherly) – to me he was the show almost as much as Gibbs. Tony can go from class clown to deadly serious in a heartbeat. As far as New Orleans I think they are going so far into the character interaction thing and the ending scenes in the bar that it takes away from the actually crime aspect – I watch it but whether I continue to watch it is up in the air.

Wednesdays the only show I really look forward to is Criminal Minds. It has stayed true to it’s purpose and although it has changed cast members a few times I still consider it my favorite show

On Thursday night I used to watch Elementary but they seem to have moved it to Sunday night which is a bad sign as I have noticed that shows they move to Sunday are soon cancelled. I like this show a lot and the only drawback is that the main character sometimes talks to fast I have no idea what he is saying.

There are a couple cable shows I like a lot and try not to miss them. The first one is The Artful Detective or on another cable channel they call it Murdoch Mysteries. Good old fashioned detective work and even though it is set in the 1890s it alludes to things happening in todays world. Excellent show.

The next show is Death In Paradise. Set on an island called San Marie. Great blend of characters and I truly enjoy all of them.

Although there are a number of sitcoms I like and enjoy – I am not really concerned if I miss them. The top ones that I find consistently funny are 1. Big Bang Theory, 2. Black (ish), 3. Fresh Off The Boat, 4. Last Man Standing, 5. The Middle. We watch more of them but these are the top ones that I like.

– It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

– A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

– If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

– Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

– It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

– When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

– No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

– Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

– When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they’re villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.

– You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

– Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

– An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

– Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.