Sorry, GEICO Gecko, but it looks like 20-year-old Courtney Stodden will take over your spot at the top of Forbes’ list of the richest lizards on the planet.

Everyone should go outside (WARNING: If you’re a blogger, use caution when doing so, because the outside air may shock your system.), open up their arms wide and smile at the sky while feeling grateful for living in a world where a gorgeous iguana who is only famous for being the child bride of some creep-faced E-liser can make a million dollars for her fap tape.

TMZ says that Vivid Entertainment has offered Courtney $1 million for that tape of her doing herself. To put that number into perspective, OctoMom was paid only five-figures (plus royalties) for the solo porn that is one of my favorite slapstick (more like slapclit) comedies of all-time. Backdoor Farrahreportedly also got five-figures (plus royalties) to get poon fisted and butt boned on camera.

Steve Hirsch of Vivid said that Courtney’s deal also includes royalties so she could make more than a million dollars:

When TMZ broke the story that the 20-year-old’s solo vid was getting shopped around … Hirsch said he was impressed by what he’d seen. Now we know just how impressed.

Hirsch fired off a letter to Courtney offering her $1 million to lock up exclusive rights. The letter hints at bonuses … saying there’s potential for her to make even more than the mil.

The thing is, Courtney could’ve easily conned Vivid. All she had to do was shoot a life-sized Barbie doll rubbing its plastic crotch and say it’s her. Nobody would know the difference. Before you say that we would know the difference, because we’d notice word “Mattel” on her back, I have to tell you that you’re wrong. Because I’m pretty sure Courtney has that on her back too.

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