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Hi
My doctor's had me on spiro now for 2 weeks & I just did my first injection of Estradiol Valerate to day. I'll be doing my own injections at home for the next 3 months. 1ML every 2 weeks. I don't know if that's a lot or a little.

Thank you both. That was my biggest worry. I've started twice before but stopped because of fear. But the hell with what others might say this is for me no one else.
After having a second surgery go bad I knew I had to do this.

I don't smoke or drink but I am over weight. I have to admit the thought that they might say no scares the hell out of me.
I am still recovering from a surgery that got infected last May & still have a large open wound on my abdomin. Though it is a lot smaller that it use to be.
This post was edited by Keith Bradford at November 15, 2017 10:57 PM GMT

Hi it's nice to see this place is still moving along. I was a member of the old TW group & helped Katie test this one before it was made public. So that makes me the first or maybe second member of The Gender Society.
It seemed most of the members that I knew were moving on to other things & my time here began to slow down as well. When Katie started the group on Facebook & asked for people to help I was quick to say yes since I had just joined FB. Both membership & post in the new group were coming at a fast pace, so I was kept very busy. Others wanted to be admins as well but never helped. Katie was so busy with Frock she didn't have a lot of time to be there. I was still getting offers of help from some but they weren't very open minded sending me messages to ban this or to start blocking that. Than I friended Maryanne & we got things under control. We are the second largest gender group on FB. But it's slowing down a lot. There are now a lot of gender groups on FB. we were getting close to a hundred request for membership a day, now it's maybe 2 or 3.
I'll always take care of that group but it is losing it's charm so I would like to start posting here again & get to know some of you if that's ok.

Hi
This has been a good thread to read. I'm just starting myself at 59. I might have just let it go & kept crossdressing to try to feel like a woman but I had a surgery in May that got infected & spent most of this summer in & out of the hospital.
I'm seeing a therapist twice a month & she told me I should go for it after telling her not doing it was one of my biggest regrets.

Hello I'm Karen Brad.
I've been a member here for a long time but I haven't been active here for a few years.
I'm finely starting HRT at 59yrs old. I've started a couple of times before but stopped out of fear of what people might say. I'm out now to my family but that don't know how to deal with it so they just ignore it. Where I use to work would never have accepted it. Blue collar stamping plant. I wish I could have done this 40yrs ago but it was a different world back then.
Is there anyone here that has started this late & can tell me what to expect. I've been doing a lot of reading but all the answers aren't there.

When I came here the forums were very active. For me that was great, I'm not a chatroom kind of person. Now there's almost no activity here. So what appealed to me is almost gone.
The Gender society Group on face book is more like the old forums were.

We use to have a lot of fun here when I first joined. That was back in 2001 or 2002. It was more about injoying life in the gender you really are. What was it we use to say "It's a girl thing". The Good Morning thread was a blast of jokes & comments every day. But than things got to be so serious all the time. People even got angry when it was said being trans could be fun. When I commented that I missed the old group we use to have I was told they were gone & I should go with them.
This post was edited by Keith Bradford at January 25, 2016 9:41 AM GMT

Yes Tammy & I talked. She was going to take me to a group. But I had to go to dinner at my sisters for her husbands birthday. He has cancer & this was more then likely his last one.
They meet once a month & I know where it is so I will be at the next one. She has also talked of a bar but I don't have money for a bar. I will not let someone else pay.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water downyour throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to holdthem while you chop away.3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.4. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over andgoing back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough

We do talk about sex a lot. It's a part of life.
It's just the graphic stuff doesn't belong on the front page.
We have full members only forums that allows us to be a lot more candid with out it being public.
That's why their there.

My shrink thinks so.
When not at work or with family, I'm dressed in femm.
The problem is that I couldn't pass to save my life. So when I dress in femm I can't go out.
When I'm working I change as soon as I get home, & on weekends I put on a dress or a skirt in the morning & stay dressed all day.
This means I don't go anywhere, ever.
I don't go for walks, to movies, out to eat. Once I'm dressed I don't want to change. I've been in femm for 2 weeks only putting on pants if I realy have to.
That means I don't go past the front door. I don't want neighbors to see me so I keep the blinds closed at all times. So I sit home alone talking to no one for days at a time.
I've tried not wearing womens clothes when at home & I can't stand it.
So my shrink says it's time to start my transition for real or stop dressing.
Right now I'm just not ready to do eather.

Update.
There is no wire. It uses 2 electrodes with a current running between them.
I'm sending it back. It takes a long time to use & it works only soso. It works better on the arms & legs than on the face. Left my face red & prickly.
So not recommended.

So far I've used it on my cheeks & neck. It works just so so. It's very slow. But I will keep on using it to see if it does what it says it does. Will do my legs this weekend. As it is I only use the epi once a month.

I think the Mods being able to hide pics is a good idea. At least until a new system can be installed.
Don't know what it would take to be able to only have select stuff post on the front page.
Like new members, forum post, & blogs. This who's friends with who stuff, glad to see so many getting along but so what.

This is what Karen has told me. The person she's having trouble with is Denise Young.
Karen Tea
Hi karen I want you to hear this from me about what is going on. First I takr full responceablity for adding denise young to my yahoo messenger this is when it all started . i would chat with her every now and again and she seemed an ok nice person . Then one night out of the blue she starts to say nasty things like " Im Fake " that Im faking it when im on GS . that I have no intentions of becoming tranny . So I did what any of us would of done and delted her. So I stoped talking to her and I had told katie about her behavure . Yesturday hun As a member of GS I was very upset with what had happend . she had been thre with carol, janey woo, faye and afew other UK girls . I know I should of had her on "iggy" like I was told to do . I did nt even tho I did nt she started to run me down with her coments. She was told to stop by carol and a few others including layla. Karen she is a very abusive person and I know she been told many times t o calm down . I hun Im not a paying member yet , I have gave the matter some thought and I want to pay me . I need some re aurance that by doing so its worth it . I really dont want to leave GS , but she causing a major problem for me

Psychiatrist vs psychologigist =
The first has a medical degree & can despence meds. But for this reason I found they only do 30min appointments & charge more.
The other will spend more time with you, talk like their not in a rush, & listen.

Well it was ment as a joke. It started when I was sent a message telling me that my real pic wasn't femm enough because my beard showed through. Well I have a very dark beard. So even with a very close shave the color shows through. I've had some laser done but it didn't work well. Now my beard shows in splotches. But still I didn't see the pic as offensive. Maybe because that was't the intent.

I think it has to do with the front page. People post there & not in the forums. So there's no running dialog between people.
I use to post a lot of topics here. But now you have to go out of your way to find them. Forums were the centrail part of things here for me.
I don't want to go I paid for a lifetime membership to help Katie out.
I love what this place does for the people that need help, how everyone reaches out to each other. When I first came here I needed that & I found it. I want TGS to be here for years to come.

I guess I'm the same way. I've had so many negative contacts that I never see those that are real. But like you I'm starting to see some of the better ones for who they are.
So if your real don't go away. It may take some time to get some trust & the only way to get that is to still be here.

This may sound stupid but I have a chance for a good job. The pay is really good, but it comes with a lot of travel. A lot of travel! I will be living out of motels for months at a time. Only coming home every third weekend.
I won't be taking any female clothing with me as it will be me & a few other guys.
Also when I'm gone I will have to give someone access to my condo in case of emergency. My sisters to not live near by so it will have to be someone else. But who? Who could I trust with my secrets. Or should I pack everything that Karen owns into boxes & put them in my basement.
This feels like walking backwards in life. Putting Karen so far into the closet that I'm afraid I'll lose her.
But I can make so much money on this job I have to take it. My take home will be more than double what it was.
I just feel so conflicted.

Got a text from my sister this morning. As I was trying to reply she sent me 2 more.
So I try to go a little faster. So many typos that there's not a real word in there.
So I start over & she sends 2 more wanting to know why I don't respond.
Now I'm trying to tell her that I'm trying. But before I can she sends another one on a different subject.
Now I'm getting angry. So I quit & call her. I ask her why don't you just call & talk like a normal person. She said textings funner. I said it's not if idiots won't wait for you to respond. She got mad.
So are you a good texter. My fat little fingers don't want to do it.

I had a dream that I was post op. But it was like it happened from one day to the next & I wasn't ready for it. I kept having to tell myself I was a woman now. People kept looking & traeating me different but I didn't feel different.
I had a job as a maid in a large hotel cleaning rooms.
That's where it ended or at least all I can remember.
Though when I woke up I was kind of sad that it was only a dream.

Doctors Never Laugh
Before the examination, Scott asked the doctor if they ever laughed at their patients' problems. The Doctor replied 'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient. 'Okay then,' Scott said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. I'm so sorry,' said the doctor. 'I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?' It's swollen,' Scott replied.
This post was edited by Keith Bradford at May 5, 2011 11:17 AM BST

I just saw something on TV about a child. A boy that would start crying if he had to dress like a boy. This started at age 4. His parents found him a school that would let him be a girl. When the show ended they were moving to the U.S. & wern't sure what they could do to help him there.

Pay Attention
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."For example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his student. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "the second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention"!

The summers there are hot that's for sure. I was there one year in Sept & it was so hot I couldn't stand to go outside. The rest of the year is nice though. I've come close to moving there a few times. Like everywhere it has its good parts & bad.

I was starting to get involved with a girl at work but didn't know if she would except me or not. When I started bringing up some things about myself she backed off.
It hurt but what could I do.
She bumped to day shift, not to get away from me but to be able to spend more time with her son. So we've had no contact since then realy.
Now she's sending me gifts on facebook again. Hugs, Kisses, things like that.
She's 20yrs younger than me with a body that I just want to hold for ever.
Not sure if it's love or lust, but I don't care I just want to be with her.
I just don't know.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down
your throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to holdthem while you chop away.3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.4. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over andgoing back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

So if your not started on hormones & have nothing to put in a cup do you still wear a bra?
I didn't for the longest time. Didn't see the point in it. I did have a couple with a set of enhancers when I wanted to get the right look.
Than a couple of months ago I started wearing one almost daily because my clothes fit better with something up there.
Now I don't feel dressed without one. Since it's winter I don't have to take it off to go shopping or to run other errands.
But now that it's getting warmer what do I do?

I was reading Melody's thread "The Last Post" & it really hit me that we're moving. This site will be gone.
It's become such a part of me. I know it needs to be done but it still feels bad.
It's like moving into a new house. It's exciting but the old house feels so comfortable.
I found out who I am here. Met some really great people. Had a lot of fun.
I laughed, cried, & got so angry at some of the things I read that I said I was never coming back.
I've been here a number of years now & I love this place.
I will miss it.

There's a girl at work I like. She's younger than me by almost 20yrs. I think she's really cute. We have a lot of fun just talking together.
They put her on a different shift so we don't work together anymore & I don't get to see her much. She started calling me everyday at break time & I really look forward to it. This could be a lot more if I let it happen. I'm already thinking this can be for a life time.
But I don't know what to do. I would have to give up my TG life.
When she's in my arms it feels warm inside I never want to let go. The feeling goes all the way through me.
I haven't had a real relationship for almost 10yrs. Not because I haven't met any girls. But because I haven't met any I would give up Karen for. The idea of losing her because of being TG sucks.
There's also a 7yr old boy that comes with her. He's a great kid. I'd really like to have a son to take fishing, camping, to ballgames. I would be a good dad to him since I really do like him a lot.
I really do have a lot to think about.

I've also posted this on our fb page & got a huge response, mostly in pm's. A number of them said I should have confronted her.
But I like to stay in the background & getting in the face of a 14yr old girl won't do that.

Today while shopping a young girl notice I was wearing nylons when she saw my ankle below my pant leg when I sat down. She started saying things loudly until I finely got up & left. Only to have her follow me to the car as she continued with the verbal attack until I drove off.
Has anything like this ever happened to you?

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF...
- You go to family reunions to meet guys.
- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.
- You wear combat boots with a minidress.
- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.
- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft."
- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
- You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.
- Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.
- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
- You keep spare ammo in your bra.
- You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.
- Your purse is a toolbox.
- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.
- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
- You call your vanity "your work bench."
- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.
- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.
- Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.
- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.
- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
-. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.
- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.

Afraid I haven't been to active in my forum. I would like to stay at it & will be more active at the new site.
Though if you want to add a second hostess I won't object. Not everyone finds the same things fun.

I got a new sweater dress from my sister. I was so shocked when I saw it. She said it will go with my brown boots.
There were some that wanted me to try it on. But what with so many kids being there I passed on that.
Still this is a big first for me.

I had to go to the foot doctor yesterday to be fitted for new arch supports. He also checked out my ankle. Well this ment taking off my shoes & pulling up my pant leg. The x-ray tech smiled at my shaved leg. Later the nurse raised an eyebrow when she pulled up my pantleg. The doctor had no reaction or comment.
Than lastnight I orderd a pizza to be delivered. I made sure I wasn't wearing anything femm looking before it came. But when he came to the door I could see the anger on his face & hear it in his voice.
I became very intimitaded. This guy was a lot bigger than I am. I paid him quickly & shut the door. I didn't know how he read me so easaly. Well when I started eating I saw lipstick on my napkin. I look in the mirror & was still wearing full makeup.
But the hostility I felt from that was very scary.
So when you sence hate & anger from others what do you do.

When I was in Jr High a friend was trying to get people to call me a girls name I didn't like because of my long hair. So I just looked at him & said fu@k you Goober. He was called goober untill the end if high school.

It is fear right now that is deciding just who I am.
I am afraid that my family & friends will hate me, dis-own me or just just tell me to go away.
I'm afraid I would lose my job, than lose my home without the money to pay the bills.
I am afraid of public reaction.
It sounds stupid to be afraid of losing a life I hate but it's the only life I have.
It wasn't easy to get this life after being on drugs for so long & living on the streets. I had no home, no job, & no future.
So yes the idea that I might lose what I have scares the sh#t out of me.

The people that post those us vs. them remarks are to small minded & ill informed to be taken seriously.
So I give them all the attention they deserve. NONE!!
Bickering with small minded people is a waiste of time.
Ignore them & they'll go away.

It's kind of dying off here. Last year I was home that night so I bought a bunch of candy to hand out. I didn't see one kid on the street trick or treating. And thats a shame. Holloween use to be a great night for kids. We'd fill pillow cases full of candy. Everyone was out on the streets having fun & I mean everyone. I have some great memorys of those nights.

Donna Cristine was in the right to do what she did. That's why we have mods. To stop or prevent things from getting out of hand. I don't know what was said in the post she hid. I don't need to, this is her forum & she is just trying to keep what realy is a good thread going. One person has allready left because of things said there. Do we wait & see how many more can be offended?

Julie when the US was formed the founders didn't want differences in opinions to cause the forming of seperate countrys. Thus they gave each state the right to govern themselves. In fact that allmost did happen. We do have national laws that include all states. I think those are the ones that need to be worked at.

The thing is I thought everything was cool with them. We've allways waved, smiled & said hello. While not being friends we were allways friendly. Than bang, I find out they think I'm some kind of perv.
Maybe if I talk to them, let them know I'm a TS & not into some odd sexual fetish.

Do people have to call you weirdo to treat you like one. Twice in the past week I've been accused of spying on my neighbors.
First I updated my security system, they gave me a free camera that is aimed at my front door. The young girl that lives to my right called the association saying that it was aimed at her door so that I could watch her come & go & demanded I have it removed.
I new nothing of this untill they came to my door & made me show them what it was aimed at. They let m keep it up & told her to have proof before before she accuses anyone else of something.
Than only 2 days ago the lady that lives on my left called the police because I had a camera aimed at her bedroom window. When they asked me about it she came out yelling that I'm a pervert & pointing at the camera she said is hidden in a tree. When the police found what she was talking about they told her it was a thermomitor & that it was sitting in plain site not hidden. Then she wanted to know why it was pointed at her window. The cop told her it's a little box with nothing to point.
I talked to the association leader. She says there are a few people here that want me to move because of the way I dress.
Well that's to bad. Than she told me to be carefull that some feel very stringly about it.. So I've been warned.

Right now I'm reading books by Jack Higgens. I'll find a writer I like & read everything they've done. I use to read a lot but internet kind of took over my time. But than I bought my ipad. Now I'm back to reading a couple of books a week.

I just got an email telling me she is in London & lost her wallet with all her money & cards. She needs $2000 to be able to get home. To please respond so that she can send details about where to send $$$.

I'm preparing to perform the pantyhose dance. For a package that reads "No Nonsense," it's ironic the nonsense it creates for me to even get into a pair. I hold the four-inch by four-inch square package in my hand and wonder how the contents could even begin to cover the entire lower half of my five-foot frame. As I open the clear, plastic pouch and pull out the weightless, silky material, I am struck by the resemblance of the Nude Beige Mist fabric to the casing of a hot dog. The Leg Sheerness Scale listed on the package informs me that the Great Shapes All Over Shaper style is nearly "very sheer." In nylon-manufacturer speak, this means the blend of nylon and spandex will deliver the least restrictive support. The package reads, "Now! Special massaging action rejuvenates and revitalizes legs." I need all of the support I can get and consider the massage a welcome bonus.
The
package promises "naturally beautiful legs with firm support" for my tummy and hips. The combination of beauty and practicality is all I need to get hooked by the advertising. Speaking of getting hooked, nylon is the material that's used for fishing line. As I plop down on the floor, I wonder if there's any connection to the fishing line and fishnet pantyhose. As I stretch out my right leg with toes squeezed together and pointing forward, I remember that fishnet pantyhose are not considered appropriate business apparel, and wonder why nude is a better professional choice. My hands crinkle the right casing with both my thumbs and index fingers in a movement that looks as if I'm playing the strings on a harp. I pull the beige sheath up over my toes and in one quick motion up over my right knee. The blend of 81% nylon and 19% Lycraâ Spandex ensures the durability of this seemingly fragile fabric and accommodates my sharp, quick movements. I repeat the same with my left side.
Two deft squats, right leg up, right leg down, left leg up, left leg down, and I have completed the pantyhose hokey-pokey. For the next ten hours, I'm assured that I'll have comfortably slimmed thighs, tummy, and hips with "beautiful sheerness." I can't help but wonder if this is what it feels like to be a hotdog. Thinking of such, I'm reminded of the hotdog inventor that created American pantyhose in first place. It was not a woman. A man by the name of Allen Gant Senior can boast of this creation fit for feminine consumers.
Not for Women Only
Before the invention of the one-piece pantyhose, two-piece nylon stockings, along with a garter, were popular after World War II (1939-1945). These were cheaper than the
formerly popular silk version. Lycra was not invented yet at this time, so the garter was necessary to hold the stocking in place at the top of the thigh. Pantyhose "replaced the silk stockings, which usually had seams, until the late 1960's," due to their sex appeal ("A Short History on Stockings." 2004. http://www.stockingirl.com/stockings.html). The stockings were "knitted flat and 'fully fashioned' which means that they were shaped to fit the leg like modern sweaters." By decreasing the number of stitches as the stocking was knit towards the ankle, a garment was created that was 'knit to fit.'"
Delving into pantyhose history, I found that hosiery is actually quite dated and women weren't its first users-especially for warmth. "Silk stockings were sometimes worn several pairs at a time in cold weather In the 17th century, when large boots were in fashion, linen 'boot hose' were worn to protect the silk stockings underneath." The hosiery "had wide lace tops, which were turned over the boots. Men continued to wear silk stockings with garters until the end of the 18th century, but long trousers begin to appear and socks have been worn underneath ever since" (http://www.stockingirl.com/stockings.html). Most men that I know are probably grateful for the introduction of socks. I have to say that I am thankful too, because the idea of a man in lace-toped thigh-highs doesn't prove to be particularly appealing to me.
It was finally "in the 19th century that machine-made cotton stockings became available for women. After World War I (1914-1918) short skirts were fashionable and long silk stockings were worn again, proving that fashion and skirt length determine hosiery fashion." Not only does the rise and fall of the hemline impact hosiery fashion, celebrities do. "Supermodel, Twiggy, popularized pantyhose when she stepped out on a runway in a miniskirt in 1965. Since then, pantyhose have become an indispensable part of virtually every woman's working or fashion wardrobe" (http://www.bookrags.com/history/popculture/pantyhose-sjpc-04/).
Who are some of the famous pantyhose wearers, and why did they wear them anyway? According to "Famous Pantyhose Wearers,"Joyce DeWitt, who played Janet Wood on 1970s television show Three's Company, famously declared that she would not work barelegged on the show. Therefore, on all of her Three's Company episodes, she wore pantyhose or tights. DeWitt also endorsed a line of L'eggs pantyhose at one point" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantyhose).
Another famous person who favored hosiery was Catherine Bach, who played the character of Daisy Duke on the early 1980's television show, The Dukes of Hazzard. She wore cutoff jean shorts, nicknamed Daisy Dukes,
throughout the history of the show. I found out that "Network censors declared that Bach's character would be too racy if she went barelegged in her shorts. " (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantyhose). As said in Famous Pantyhose Wearers, "This popularized the wearing of pantyhose by female shorts wearers in the general population." Women weren't the only ones sporting nylon-clad gams. Consider Joe Namath, "the most infamous pantyhose wearer of all time." He did a commercial for Hanes Beautymist pantyhose, which featured the line, 'Now I may not wear pantyhose. But if Beautymist can make my legs look this good, imagine what they can do for yours!'" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantyhose).
Men and hosiery don't always agree with one another though. Consider one man's candid opinion on hosiery: "Stockings are the sexiest attire ever invented--the glimpse, feel, and removing of which are the biggest guaranteed turn-ons. Tights are quite possibly the least sexiest thing ever invented; passion killing, fun stopping, turn offs. Never mind condoms, the pill, etc.-the biggest contraceptive just has to be the pantyhose
Published By A.L.Siler

It's getting to be that time of year again when bare legs are not enough. Most of my slacks are lite weight so there not very warm when outdoors. So I wear pantyhose under them. Anything thicker is to warm for indoors.
But I realy don't look forward to this. They allways seem to be pulling in one place or another. The lifetime of a pair is very short & there not cheap. Washing & drying is a pain. My bathroom will soon be over run with them hanging from every space I can find.
I love winter clothes But hate winter hose.

I don't need to get all dressed up to be Karen anymore. There is still nothing better than better than getting all dressed up.
Going all out to look my best. I've allways loved doing it & I allways will.

I'm going to Fla in Nov. I'll be staying with family & sleeping on the couch. I hate to do it but I'm going to have to buy some mens underclothes since I don't own any. Well one pair for when I go to the doctor, but can't wear them for a week.
But my pants & tops are also all womens. Should I buy some mens clothes?

I had just got up, made my coffee & turned on the TV. There was a live report of a plane that hit the trade center. Then peope started pointing & yelling that there was another one. The camera swung up as the plane turned sharply into the building.
You could here people yelling that they were terrorist.
Yes at that momment the world changed.

Hi Kat Welcome to TGS.
It makes life hard when your one person on the outside, another on the inside, & not sure which one is realy you.
It take time but talking about it realy helps a lot. Getting to be yourself & being comfortable with it makes that part of life better.

Julie to call people names for not agreeing with your opinion is what the ignorant do when they don't have an answer to make thier point. Than to threaten Anna. I thought you could give a better argument than that. But I guess I was wrong.

I'm so happy for you!!!!!
I've been telling my friends & family about your good news & after telling them some of what you have had to do to get by.
People that don't evan know you get a big smile on thier face. It's a real feel good story.

Songs that stick in your head.
Beach Boys "Kokomo" it was ok the first few times but the next 10,000 were a bit much.
La Bamba, when that song gets in my head I realy would prefer a having my brain removed.

Janet if you had said that your post might still be there.
Also you posted it the same day you joined the site. It kind of looks like you only joined so that you could post an ad.
That might not be the case. If not you might take a look around. You might like it here & you are more than welcome to join in.

That who's there & where they are does not work right.
If Katie didn't answer an email than she didn't get it. Since changing the name of this site some email addresses are no longer there.
Julia I'm sure Katie would be gratefull at your offer to help.

Right now Katie spends long hours on the new site she's building. She has a lot done but still has a lot more to do. Right now she has forums, blogs, videos & chat along with some other stuff up & running. I like the home page it's very much like facebook in that you can make comments without having to start a thread.
It's a huge undertaking that will keep her away from this site for long periods a a time.
But if there is a problem send her an email & she will respond. She allways has.

I've seen a few things on TV about TS's that gave up or lost everything when they came out. Selling sex only as a last resort to put a roof over thier heads & food on the table. Prancing around in front of a camera so that some pervs can look is a lot safer than walking the street.

Anna I love you like a sister but I kind of think Marsha's right. She never said she hated them. Just that they don't realy do us any good. The press only seem to talk about the most flashy crossdressers.
If I had someone to go with I'd go. But only so I could get all dressed up & go out without being afraid.
To many people see the brightly dressed man in fishnets & just shake thier heads.

In order to get this right I think we need to start working on next years agenda. Maybe we should go back to the beginning & start over. Lets give it some thought. I'll have to look it up again I don't remember when it is, but we need to try to be ready on time.

I'm sure that will get overturned. It's just plain stupid.
Just like the statement below.
By their estimate, small-breasted women like English actress Keira Knightley wouldn't pass for a woman, making it apparent that the French legal system is not only trans-phobic and classist but also misogynist and completely objectifying. Just like America!

I agree with Marsha on this. For most of those that attend these are nothing more than a way to show themselves dressed in public. No real change is ever going to come from that. I don't realy beleave these are political at all. The news & the world only seem to see those that are dressed like clowns & make being TG a peverted joke.
Look at TV. Being gay is still mostly a joke. Thier goofy sissies or flaming faggots. Yet they look like the gender they are.
We dress different, look different, & act different. Since history began man has hurt, killed, or just laughed at anything different.

There's the lady I like talking to. I know what you ment but it was phrased a little umm you know.
That was not a question where one answer fits all. Only math has one answer & I'm not very good at it.

1.A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of Politicians give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the hell happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

I think most are impractical for everyday wear. Go to any online site that sells them & the number of different looks they give something that has one purpose is crazy. I've looked at http://onehanesplace.com to get an idea of what I might want. Looking at them you can see that most will not be comfortable to wear.

The strongest memories are from music I didn't evan realy listen to. My dad use to sit at the table drinking coffee & listening to country music while reading his paper. This was before videos or MTV. The closest thig to that was watching the Monkeys on TV.
Than there was my sister. She had a little record player & a stack of 45's she'd play while she did homework. From about 1965 to 1970 music left an imprint without me evan knowing it. I think that's the magic that music can have on a person. Today when I hear something from back then it can make me feel the same things again.

Yes I have been reading her blogs for sometime so I know how many ups & downs she has had to face. She realy has had to work hard to get where she is. I wish her the best & hope everything goes well for her. Now that she is where she is she deserves a break.

When you think about what we put ourselfs through. The risk that we are willing to take. Years of prepairing, taking meds that have a giant effects on our bodys. Major surgerys that forever change who we are. Yet the hardest part seems to be telling those we love. It seems that the biggest risk is losing the love we have of family & friends.

If what you wanted was just that easy we'd all be there. You want to live as a woman. Can you pass as a woman?
Nowhere is so nice that a man can live as a woman if he looks like a man in a dress. It's a process that takes time.
I understand how you feel. It's just not that simple.

I know the distance sucks when you realy want to be with someone. Thier a part of your life, but not, at the same time.
Phones, emails, & chats just don't fill that space that now seems empty.
If it's going to be than it won't be forever.

So many have stopped coming I can't evan begin to name them all. I worry very much about some of them.
The girls that get thier feelings hurt over something & go with a heavy heart are the ones I want to find & hug & tell them to come back.
Then there are those that just stop coming from one day to the next, that never let on anything was wrong.

Penny, the people here make fun of the people over there. The people over there make fun of the people here. As long as I know it's just people having fun I can live with that.
What's sad are the people that don't know.
Being able to laugh at ourselves lets people know we're real people too.

Just yesterday I was chatting with someone on FB. I said that if I start to transition now I would have to leave my job. Not because of what the company would do but because of the people I work with, thay would not except it.
She broght up both points just as Marsh said.
First that they can't do that, or don't we have laws about that.
Second, that surly people are becoming more axcepting because of TV shows like Ru Paul.
I work with allmost all black people all they want to watch is someone shoot him.
Things are very different there than they are here. It hasn't been that long ago that your police were still not armed with guns.

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

Anne S. has been posting on our page on FB.
First on the topic of herbals. Telling everyone how great they are & so much better than what you cen get from a doctor.
Second on deperssion. Her views come from ignorance, having no knowledge on this subject does not stop her from trying to give advice.
I wish that Bitch would just dry up & go Away!!!!!!!

The winner is!!!
Top honors for "Human Projectile of the Month" go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual "Darwin Award". That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion.
Troopers from the Arizona Highway Patrol got on to this gallant if not brainless form of ballistic research after motorists reported some mysterious scorched and blackened scars on a stretch of deserted highway.
The more officers found, the stranger the case got. Here is what they "pieced" together:
JATO units are basically huge canisters of solid rocket fuel used to achieve "Jet Assisted Take Off", typically lifting big transport planes into the air from short, rough ground runways, or shooting overloaded planes from the decks of aircraft carriers.
They were not, repeat NOT, designed to augment the inherent boost factor of a 1967 Chevy Impala. But it is guessed that -- let's call him "Zippy" ---- didn't know that when he hooked one up to his ride.
He apparently chose his runway carefully, selecting a nice long, lonely piece of straight highway in good repair. Not guessing that he might need a bit more than five miles of zoom surface, Zippy's test track had, that far down the track, a gentle rise on a sloping turn. He kicked the tire, lit the fire, ran his Chev up to top cruising speed, and hit the ignition. Investigators know exactly where this happened, judging from the extended patch of burned and melted asphalt.
The pocket calculator boys figure Zip reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, punching the Chevy to "well in excess of 350 miles per hour" and continued at "full burn" for another 20 to 25 seconds. Early in that little sprint, at roughly 2.5 miles down the road, the Human Hydro Shock stood on the brakes, melting them completely, blowing the tires and rapidly reducing all four skins to liquefied trails on the pavement.
Remember that little rise on the turn? That's where Zippy concluded his land speed record attempt and went for airborne honors, ultimately reaching an altitude of 125 feet and still climbing when his flight was abruptly terminated. We'll never know how far or how high he might have gone. A cliff face of solid rock kind of got in his way, posing a serious reaffirmation of the law of physics vis-a-vis two chunks of matter cannot occupy the same space at the same time. He gave it hell though, blasting a 6-foot crater. The best modern forensic science could do was ID the car's make and model year. As for Zippy, only trace evidence of bone, teeth, and hair were found in the crater.

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.
"That race was all about competition." - David Coleman, ITV
"And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us." - Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3
Mark Goodier: What's the name of the company you work for?
Listener: Mining and Engineering Services. Mark Goodier: So, what kind of work do they do; is it mining and
engineering services? - BBC Radio 1
"Marling - unbeaten in her three victories."
Peter O'Sullivan, BBC2 TV: "Both drivers are fundamentally wearing white helmets."
James Hunt, BBC2 TV: "A church spire nestling among the trees...there's probably a church there too." - Richie Benaud, BBC2 TV
Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: "Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy."
Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: "There's nothing athletes like - or indeed hate - more than hanging around like this." - David Coleman, BBC 1 TV
"Not being in the Rumbelows Cup for those teams won't mean a row of beans, 'cos that's only small potatoes." - Ian St John, ITV
"Oldham are leading 1-0, a well deserved victory at this stage of the game." - Tommy Docherty, Picadilly Radio
Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3: "We don't appear to have Jim Fish on the line at the moment."
"Are there any more great swimmers in the pipeline?" - Cliff Morgan, BBC Radio 4
"Andre Vandapole has four silver medals in cyclocross, and none of them gold." - Phil Liggott, Channel 4 TV
"Well, I shall remember that catch for many a dying day."

Really Stupid People = I'm sorry if you see youeself listed below.
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.
A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Hi Christine
Hi-lite & copy the intire address. Click on add A Link than paste the address in the box making sure that (http//) is only there one time. That's how I do it.
The same thing with a pitcher copying the link & pasting it in the box for An Image.
Hope that works.

Here'a a small start!!
Bank of America paid no taxes in 2009, even though it made $4.4 billion income.
GE made $10.3 billion in pre-tax income in 2008, but didn't have to pay a single cent in taxes
Molson Coors paid no taxes in 2009, and was actually paid $14.7 million by the government.
Busted - Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner failed to pay taxes of $42,000 on IMF income

Ounces of brain for sale
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"
"Four dollars an ounce."
"How much for lawyer brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program..
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous,
athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign
around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing,
he finally gives up..
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,
beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.. She is wearing nothing but
Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you
can have me'.
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he
does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens
with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he
has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company
to order the 7-day/50 pound program
'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone... 'This is our most rigorous program.'
'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular
guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck
that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'
He lost 63 pounds that week.

A committe of procrastinaters? Forming one might not be to hard but getting us together all at the same time?
Item 1 - A name - Lets not rush into this. We want a name that fits us (all of us). I'll give it some thought & get back.

I just clicked on it & it took me back to TW.
I also had to delete the shortcut on my PC & add a new one to go to gendersociety.com & not to trannyweb.
It's just one of those things that are going to pop up. Katie will fix them a we find them.

Marsh's right about the videos claiming to be owned by myself & others. That could bing you a world of trouble.
Maybe a banner directing members to recent blogs & videos would help with loading & not take up so much space.

You said she was found out because of what happend. So if I read it right she wasn't raped because of her past but because she's now a woman. So I assume she was hiding it from her boyfriend & I can see where that would be an issue.
Please don't think I mean anything bad by that I'm just trying to understand.
I'm very sorry to hear that she was hurt & I hope she will be OK.

1.Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce double amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny and skin smooth.
2.Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chance of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3.Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4.Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tunes up just about every muscles in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps and you don't need special sneakers!
5.Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6.The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7.Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than Valium.
8.Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9.Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10.A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever!
11.At any given moment 84,000,000 people are engaged in sex, 138,000,000 are kissing, and 66,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
12.While all these people are engaged in sexual activities, somewhere, someone is sitting in front of a computer reading facts about sex.

IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two..."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I kn ow, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman , KS .
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham
, Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stop-light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS .
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I attended a "good-bye" luncheon for an old and dear co-worker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that "deer-in-the-headlights" stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS .
When I left Hawaii and was transferred to FL, I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge." He nodded his head and said "Cool!"

Hi Katie
I think more of the forums should be limited to full members. Giving basic members so much free use of the site means why pay for it. Also do the same with the blogs, give them full access to read them but don't give them a blog of thier own unless they upgrade. Blogging is kind of going out anyway. It's not nearly as popular as it once was anywhere, not just here.
I happen to like the way things look, I've seen worse.

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically' ?'
The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a Million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'
So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'
The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'
The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million Bucks would buy?'
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference
between 'potentially' and 'realistically' ?'
The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially' , you and I are sitting on Three million dollars .
But 'realistically' , we're just living with two hookers and a queer.

It does seem to be more sexual in nature than we are here. But I think that's because TA's post one time & than don't come back.
It's the things they write on the wall that make it look that way. I think it's having the word TRANNY in the name that's causing that.
The same way it attracts TA's here.

I am who I am.
All to often when someone points out the differences it is to say they are better as was said in that artical.
And if you realy feel that way than why are you here still? I don't want you to go. You have so much to give to those that ask for help.
Because of the attidudes people get about this subject it is supposed to be banned. But by the time anyone does anything it's allways to late.

A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He ...
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn't really ethical to screw one of his patients.However, a little voice in his head said Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients, ... so it's not like you're the first ...This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, but then again ... they probably weren't veterinarians ...

The Difference Between Small Breasts and Large Breasts
Women with big breasts…
•..can get a taxi on the worst days
•..have a neat place to carry spare change
•..have always been the centre of the arts
•..make jogging a spectator sport
•..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
•..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
•..always float better
•..know where to look first for lost earrings
•..rarely lack for a slow dance partner
•..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner
Women with small breasts…
•..don’t cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
•..always look younger
•..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
•..can always see their toes and shoes
•..can sleep on their stomachs
•..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
•..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts
•..can come late to a theatre and not disrupt an entire aisle
•..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out.

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

My beard was very heavy & dark. I had shadow that showed thru my skin no matter how close I shaved.
Like Marsha I paid about the same. It was supposed to be 6 treatments upto 2yrs. I have been going every month for about a year. I still have some around my chin but it's allmost all gone. And no it's not getting the gray. But also as Marsha said you realy can't see that anyway.
I went to American Laser Center.

I was on facebook & thier calling today rubberband day.
TG's that want to find other TG's are to wear one on thier wrist as a way to spot each other.
I'll give it a try. A new friend might be close by.

OK so now I'm a lifer. It's not about being able to come here for ever, though I hope TW will be around for a long time to come.
It's about the good that came from being here when I needed it & wanting it to be here for others when they need it.

The only true way to have seperation of church & state is that no members of a church be allowed to work in government.
That way the churches teachings can't influence the way it thinks. But than the government wouldn.t represent all the people.
The only way to make change is from within by voting in the people the best represent us.
That is what the different churches do, it's why they stay so strong.

1. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. A backward poet writes inverse.
11. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
12. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects

I know that sounds wierd but I just might be.
There soft supple brown leather, mid-calf, 3in heels.
I first saw them in a store & I realy liked the look but the largest size they had was a 9. I found them online in my size but they were a $100 so I passed. I kept going back for another look & finely gave in. Only they were out of stock & were put on backorder. They came this morning!!!!!
I tried them on afraid they wouldn't fit right, but thier perfect. I haven't taken them off since.
It's a nice day!

I was watching a show on TV about a a TS that didn't have the money to go to a doctor. She supported herself doing shows as a drag queen. Her breast were done by someone she didn't know at a friends house. Industrial grade silicone injected into her chest. When the person doing the interview commented that it could kill her her responce was that she had no other choise.

I have a very thick head of hair. When I get it cut I also have to get it thined out. I have tried to let it grow out but it gets so thick I can't stand it. When I was younger & long hair was in, my sisters use do bitch that they had thin straight hair & I, being the only boy in the family, had the long full body hair. Wish I could get that back.

Yes evan a closed minded Archie Bunker wannabe has the right to be heard. But it has been desided long long ago that they can not force anyone to listen.
But sometimes I will let them go on I find stupidity at that depth funny.

Hi
I was talking to Mere today & she asked if I would post something for her. We didn't say anything but I assume she is going to pay me for this. But I'm not sure what would be a fair price. I think 15 to 20 cents a word sounds right. Lets see that comes to $11.20 so far. Kind of high but I'm worth it & it just keeps going up doesn't it.lol
Anyway she says that she is out to everyone she works with but 1 & that person probobly knows anyway.
She also says that when she goes to see Josi everyone knows her as Meredith.
She's pretty proud of this & knowing her I'm sure it's going to her head. I'm sure she won't want to pay for that part but that's to bad it's going on the bill anyway.
Being the kind person she is I'm sure she'll be happy to pay all those that respond to this at the same rate.
Please at the end of your post show the total cost along with the grand total of each post added together.
26.20 Thank You!!!!

Hi Melody
Like you I was dressing at a very young age. My sister had a closet full of clothes half of which didn't fit her anymore. But fit me perfect. So I would stay home from school to be able to dress for a whole day. I think the only times I saw others dressed was on TV as a joke. I didn't realy start to hear about others like me untill I was older & my frends would say such nasty things about them that I never let on about myself.
I never talked about myself untill I found TW. Making those first few post was very scary for me. I just knew I was going to get found out if I put something on the net.
It was when Meredith came for a visit in 2006 for New Years. For the first time in my life I sat in a room with someone like myself & let them see the real me.
It wasn't untill later that it accured to me that I started dressing at the age of 8 & didn't realy let anyone know untill I was 48.
40yrs in a very lonely closet.
That's what I think is so great about TW & the net. Others don't have to wait like I did to find someone to talk to about this.

Hi Mary
I left due to a lack of players. But I still play in some of the other daily challenges. My Norton is pretty quick to let me know of any site that may cause a problem & nothing from there has caused any red flags. If you maybe click on other links that could be a problem.

That is pretty much correct. But here we try to let others share thier opinions without judging the person as we share a common bond. We hopefully have a sisterhood. So evan though our opinions may be far apart we remain friends & will offer help when asked.
So evan if some don't like your ideas or you don't like the answers, that's fine. We remain friends & that does include you Miss Suda. Keep an open mind & an open hart, it makes life much easier. So I hope you stay around there is much that can be learned.

I think Jeri spoke how I feel about it mostly but I think there's more. I've been with girls that could melt my heart with just a look.
The worst thing about being a man is not seeing that look or not caring if you do.
All this talk about behavier makes the woman is crap. If you've seen a woman in a store trying to tame unruly kids it may not look very femm, but that is a woman.
Being a woman is not the same as being a lady. Being a man is not the same as being a gentleman.

I had my chance to do the traditional thing of shooting my own turkey for Thanksgiving . . . you should have seen the people scatter in the meat department.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own.
Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & threw the door.
Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs, and breasts. Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender white skin.
From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms, to the warm water that awaits.
The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin.
My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads of water. Making them trickle down off your body.
I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place, so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door.
As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I.
I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in.
I put in more, you take it willingly. In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight. With your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it,
I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within. Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender.
I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good.
Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste.
"Oh yes", I say to you,
I must say Grace "Thank God for Butterball turkey.... Amen"

He laid her on the table,
So white, clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat,
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast,
And then, drooling, felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set, He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide...he looked inside,
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched out his arms,
And then he stuffed the turkey

Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble
Mine just stay still in one place
In the breast hall of fame
You won't see my name
For my boobs there would be a disgrace
Sure boobs of my size have their merit
They're easy to fit with a bra
And when I go for a dip
You won't see one slip…out
They stay put…just where they are
And I'm not one to seek much attention
So you won't find me strutting about
In a boob tube that's trying
by gravity defying
to leave no room, not even for doubt
But I sure envy big breasted women
I've seen them at parties you know
With all confidence thrust
In their mighty big bust
Entrancing the men as they go
Though I've heard from a big bosomed buddy
That it's not all it's cracked up to be
She says in frustration
"Try to hold conversation
When there's only two things a guy sees"
Now if I paid a few grand to enlarge them
To, say thirty-six b or c
Would they still look so natural
And could I class them as collateral
Sorta like home improvements on me
Now I've not taken this boob thing just lightly
I've done quite a bit of research
As I try to keep abreast
In my mammary quest
I've found there's a bit to be learned
There's questions that need to be answered
Like cleavage, how wide and how deep
I can have nipples bigger
But somehow I figured
That could poke Sweetie's eye in his sleep
Oh, I wish I had boobs that were awesome
I'd buy a bright red bathing suit
On the beach I would run
In slow motion for fun
To show off my best attribute
Now don't think I'd just get them for vanity
There's much I'd aspire to do
I could feed many babies
When I was lactating
And for convenience, I could offer drive-thru
In a t-shirt I'd test air conditioning
They could 'see' if they had it too low
And if I stood outside
My breasts pumped up with pride
Police'd use me to stop traffic flow
Well you can see I've a lot to consider
For the big plunge, I need some more time
So I'll keep you updated
But for now they're just fated
To stay as they are for a while

When all is said & done I've come to beleave that gender & sexual orientation have nothing in common.
I injoy having sex with a person I like regardless of the parts they have. When I first joined TW I was hit on a couple of times by TA's & was put off by it as I have no intrest in talking dirty here. I kept coming back wanting to learn about the woman in me.
So I have & allways will hit the block to any PM's that talk sex.
So the only normal thing about sex is liking it.

A couple of what though?
We had dinner at Fishbones than bought a 6pack & took it back to the room. I sat down & started falling asleep. I blamed it on all the hrs I've been working. Said I was sorry but I had to head out home. I think it was the shrimp or catfish that knocked me out I was a bit sick by the time I got home.
I turned out of the lot towards home & was going the wrong way on a oneway street. Downtown Detroit has to many oneway streets that go nowhere.
Her motel is in a great location with many of the cities best attractions within walking distance. It would be nice if she had more time.

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.Lady 1: What's that?Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.Lady 1: Where did you get it?Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.

Rae it's to early in the morning to think of a responce to that, but I'm sure I will later after I've had my coffee.
I am going to take her on a small tour through my old neighborhood. The fun part comes after that when I try to find her hotel.
I have the address but finding my way through the streets downtown is allways an adventure.

Actually I was kind of drunk last night when I said that & I'm sorry I did.
But I just don't understand M/A you were the most liked & well known person here.
You were in my top 5 easy. Than you became angry about something & that anger is in everything you post now.
I responded to the anger not the person.

Had to get up early today for my laser appointment. After starting my coffee & taking a long shower I dressed in a new top I just got. It goes real nice with my blue slacks. I sat down & opened my laptop than picked up my coffee. Well I didn't have the lid on right so I dripped it down the front of my top. After changing into something else I checked my emails & facebook. Then it was time to go. But as I was putting on a jacket I noticed a couple of spots on the top I was wearing so I had to change again.
Now I'm running late. When I got in my car I sat my coffee down & got settled in, started up & backed out. Spilling my coffee on the passenger seat. Used what tissue I had to clean it as best I could I was now evan later. It's a 30min drive there & at 8:40am I found that every school bus ever made uses the same roads I had to to get there.
I finely got there & only 10min late. I checked in & sat down, they called my name realy quick, but told me my appointment was yesterday. They gave me a new appointment for tomorrow at 3pm.
The drive home was easy, the buses were all gone, traffic was lite. I made waffles & took a nap.
I'm sure tommorow will start better than today.

I've been reading this debating the pros & cons. But it seems that some small detail had been left out. The fact that this person hasn't evan had srs yet. There's no side to take. This shouldn.t evan be considerd untill after, at least a couple of years after.
At this point she may not evan want to keep them later on. Tell her to get a job & save some money.

The first time I was in the hospital. I was still in intensive care & Mere called to find out how I was doing since I hadn't called her to let her know anything. All she could do was leave a message for me with the nurse. When the nurse asked for a name she said Meredith. Later when the nurse gave me the message she had a funny look on her face she asked if I knew a guy that called himself Meredith. I told her it was a joke between friends. But from that time on she assumed I was gay.

That's why I had to open a seperate Facebook acount. A lot of my family are on my friends list. A lot of them are teens. Some of the responces I was getting confused them & they would ask questions. So now I have an acount for Karen & one for my other self.
Before my depression I use to talk to a few girls from here including you Wendy. There were times I wanted to call but couldn,t remember the name you told me to use if someone else were to answer. I didn't want to make a mistake & out you to someone I didn't know.

There's a bar in Detroit where they had a bad time with TV's working the parking lot. Police every weekend, people getting robbed, TV's being set up & beat'en. They had to hire full time security to watch the lot.
But trannys have allways been welcome inside. Thier a big part of why some people go there.

Marsha
I like the fact that you warned about teen hang outs. As teens can realy cause trouble when they see someone that looks different.
I was thinking about a list of do's & don'ts for girls going out. But at best I would be a minor contributer. I'd trust it better if it was made by girls that have been thru it.
I think it would help those new to going out to feel safer.
Any ideas?

After reading Anna's post I can see we need to be carefull about jumping to conclusions about what was ment.
What Marsha said is a common phrase in the U.S. & I understood it fine. I couldn't understand what all the anger was about.
Now had she used the word "dirty" you would be right.

I finely found a long legged pantie I can wear. Most I've found have baggie legs or elastic around the bottom giving them a saggy fit. At a place called DrLeonard's Health Products I found some made of nylon that fit great. These I can wear to work or with light weight slacks with no lines showing. Since I don't realy like jeans I wear slacks a lot & I've had my sisters tell me they can see the outline of my panties. When out shopping or just running erronds I don't like wondering if my lines show or not.
http://apparel.drleonards139.cfm

Marsha
I loved that last post. It pretty much tells where I'm at myself. Yes I want to go on & keep changing to be the person I allways wanted to be. But I'm not going to sit at home & cry because I'm not there or it's not coming fast enough.
I fully except who I am right now & what I'm doing to continue on with becoming Karen.
It's that, that makeslife worth living.

ANY talk about labels is banned. She said she doesn't like to be called a tranny or drag queen & asked others what they think.
Those are labels.
You don't like having this topic closed talk to Katie.
What's with the attidude?

Rae your still saying he was released on compassionate grounds. Did you read the artical? It had nothing to do with compassion. When the prisioner exchange was being worked out they tried to keep him out of it. But Libya forced the issue.
The oil deal hinged on it. Once he was inclued the oil deal was done in only a couple of days.
Also let me say that the real reason I was against it was that others may want to be like him. Extremist will use him as a role model to show how weak the west is.

Times online
I found this artical on many news sites.
Seems it wasn't about compasion at all. But money. Though I didn't agree with it, I would rather it was compasion.
I guess world powers have to do what they have to do. They did try to keep him but money talks.

Thanks for the contact info Tammy. I will use it.
As for us meeting before I dought it. I've never been active in the TG community.
I've never been able to go out as Karen. I've had 6 laser treatments on my beard so far & it's still so thick & dark I have to shave daily.
Rose I'm sure drugs were around you just wern't aware of them. When I first started getting into it I found them in places & from people I never would have thought of. Respectable people to. Buisness owners, counselors, teachers, were using them every day without anyone knowing.

I use to wonder about that. If they allready made the best soap or whatever as they claimed how did they make it better.
Also if the old one didn't realy work, why are they still selling it.
I'm waiting for "Tide" to do a commercial compairing thier old product with the new one.

I've been there. The only time I had the courage to be myself was when I was on drugs. Only when I was high would I not care what others thought of how I looked or behaved.
I haven't touched drugs since Augast of 97. I have drank some & evan been drunk twice so no I'm not perfect, but I'm not killing myself anymore. TW showed me how to live with myself & Karen as one.
I live in Warren & would be intrested in a support group.

Rae your right, I had let my emotions get away from me. I love my home, I bleed red white & blue.
But I don't like what politicians have done to it.
Also I do think crimes should be punished very heavy handed. But that might be because I live near Detroit. Crime & murder is an everyday thing. The latest bad thing is about a young man randomly beaten & murderd than dumped in a field in the city proper. This accured not 2 streets over & his family is devistated.
Murders are in & out of prison to kill again & again. Our justis system sucks & people are getting upset about it.

Now knowing what you all think of us here in the US I don't feel very welcome anymore.
Anna it's you that suprises me most.
I thought the people here were online friends. I won't make that mistake again.

Life in prison should be life in prison. I thought that ment the rest of that persons life. He should have had to look at brick walls untill he died. The man had no compasion for those he killed, why show him any?
The whole world questions what the U.S. does. But if someone from here questions another than just who the hell are we.

No one at work thinks of me as gay & they know nothing about me being a tranny. I overheard a diesetter say to a fellow worker
"I don't know why but talking to him feels like I'm talking to a girl". I know him well enough to know it doesn't matter to him.
It wasn't an insult just an observation. I was both surprised & happy. Than I laughed wondering what he might think if I hugged him & said thankyou.

So you let a couple of peeps get to you. Don't let it bother you. Evan the best people can only take so much.
Like you I think 99% of the girls here are good people. But that 1% will allways try to spoil things in all parts of life.
I'll never understand why they seem to want people to be mad & angry. They seem to injoy tearing down a good thing.
I doubt if you owed anyone an apology. I have a hard time thinking of you as the aggressor.
I only know you by what I read here in the forums. But that person seems smart, funny, & kind.

The only thing that mqde any sence to me was -- Professor Green said: "Transsexualism has been with us since antiquity.
Now that I will take as true,as for the rest of it. Well I have no brothers. I have or had 3 sisters. 2 are lesbians, as is 1 niece.
But the oldest was 15yrs older than me & the other is 5yrs older than me. So they never realy played a big part in my life.
I'm also right handed with very fine line prints. The cops hated printing me.
I do have a lot of aunts, but never met most of them untill I was in my 30's.

This was written by Becky Ransey of Indiana (a doctor's Wife), and I want to share it with you. She was over recently for coffee and smelled the bleach I was using to clean my toilet and counter tops. This is what she told me:
"I would like to tell you of the benefits of that plain little old bottle of 3% peroxide you can get for under $1.00 at any drug store. What does bleach cost? My husband has been in the medical field for over 36 years, and most doctors don't tell you about peroxide.
"Have you ever smelled bleach in a doctor's office? NO! Why? Because it smells, and it is not healthy! Ask the nurses who work in the doctor's offices, and ask them if they use bleach at home. They are wiser and know better!
"Did you also know bleach was invented in the late 40's? It's Chlorine, folks! And it was used to kill our troops.
"Peroxide was invented during WWI. It was used to save and help cleanse the needs of our troops and hospitals. Please think about this:
1. Take one capful (the little white cap that comes with the bottle) and hold in your mouth for 10 minutes daily, then spit it out. (I do it when I bathe.) No more canker sores, and your teeth will be whiter without expensive pastes. Use it instead of mouthwash.
2. Let your toothbrushes soak in a cup of peroxide to keep them free of germs.
3. Clean your counters and table tops with peroxide to kill germs and leave a fresh smell. Simply put a little on your dishrag when you wipe down your countertops, or spray it on the counters directly.
4. After rinsing off your wooden cutting board, pour peroxide on it to Kill salmonella and other bacteria.
5. I had fungus on my feet for years until I sprayed a 50/50 mixture of Peroxide and water on them (especially the toes) every night and let dry.
6. Soak any infections or cuts in 3% peroxide for five to ten minutes several times a day. My husband has seen gangrene that would not heal with any medicine but was healed by soaking in peroxide.
7. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water and keep it in every bathroom to disinfect without harming your septic system like bleach or most other disinfectants will.
8. Tilt your head back and spray into nostrils with your 50/50 mixture whenever you have a cold, plugged sinus. It will bubble and help to kill the bacteria. Hold for a few minutes, and then blow your nose into a tissue.
9. If you have a terrible toothache and cannot get to a dentist right away, put a capful of 3% peroxide into your mouth and hold it for ten minutes several times a day. The pain will lessen greatly.
10. Put half a bottle of peroxide into your bathwater to help rid boils, fungus, or other skin infections.
11. You can also add a cup of peroxide instead of bleach to a load of whites in your laundry to whiten them. If there is blood on clothing, pour it directly on the soiled spot. Let it sit for a minute, then rub it and rinse with cold water. Repeat if necessary.
12. I use peroxide to clean my mirrors. There is no smearing, which is why I love it so much for this.
"I could go on and on. It is a little brown bottle no home should be without!
"With prices of most necessities rising, I'm glad there's a way to save tons of money in such a simple, healthy manner!"

Wendy
When I was in the hospital a few weeks ago I gave my sister the door key so she could go close my place up.
I have 2 sets of keys for my home & car. I took the set without a door key. What caused that is that I have a door key to my sisters house on that ring. Looks very much like my own.
I've had 2 more keys made put one on the ring & the other in a box hidden outside.

I have not forgoten my sister though we haven't talked in way to long. I haven't set up skype on my new lap-top yet.
Met someone & they kept calling 4 or 5 times a day just ranting about life being unfair. So was waiting untill she might forget about me. But I'll get it back soon.

Wow!
I never drink so much that I get drunk. I realy don't like the feeling. Doing stupid things & being sick the next day (like now) is why I don't do it. Realy a beer or wine with dinner or a slushy drink after a hot day at work & never more than 2.
What I found this morning.
My front door I can fix with some glue, 3in screws, & a little paint.
My friend was still here when I woke up. She said she told everyone that she's the one that got me drunk & than dressed me up for fun.
I guess I fell asleep right here at my laptop after posting this thread so she put me to bed & stayed with me. She already new I wear womens clothes.
I haven't been that drunk in yrs & I hope it's yrs before I do it again.
I joke a lot about drinking but I don't realy injoy it much.

I just made 2 big ones.
I got off work early today. It was very hot there. So I made a pitcher of frozen margaritas. I drank the whole thing & made another. It was good.
I drank 1 drink & I was hungry. I am wearing a long black gause skirt & a peasant top. Since I was going to the drive-thru I thought why change.
Those were my 2 bad choices.
Waving to the people thatb live 2 doors over wasn't a great idea but they already saw me so what choice did I have.
I made it there & back ok.
When I got back I didn't have a key to open the my door I left it in the house. So I had to kick it open. Someone called the police.
After showing them my id to prove I lived here they got nastyt about my clothes. I tried to shut the door but it won't close. Theyb said thier going to put me in jail & I reqaly told them where to go. When my lady friend came overe she told them she would take care of it & they finely left.
I think I'm in trouble maybe.

Transportation Security Administration added gender ID to fly.
I've read a few post from girls asking if they could fly in femm. Now your gender has to match. So if you plan to take a plane be ready to be questioned about it & if you realy pass you may have to prove your gender.

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter , as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave , the little one said , "But Grandma , you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was , and I told him , 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment , and then he asked , "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed , a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious , her patience grew thin. Finally , she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room , putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room , she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice , "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony.. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed , taking this all in. At last she said , "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked , "Grandma , do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said , "No , how are we alike?'' "You're both old , " he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know , " she replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet , so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me , so I continued. At last , she headed for the door , saying , "Grandma , I think you should try to figure out some of these , yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin , we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still , a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did , Billy whispered , "It's no use Grandpa.
Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was , I teasingly replied , "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear , Grandpa , " he advised , "mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother , "Grandma , guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother , more than a little surprised , tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting , " she said , "how do you make babies?"
"It's simple , " replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant , " said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure , " said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back , " said one child. "No , " said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close.” They use the dogs , " she said firmly , "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.. "Oh , " he said , "she lives at the airport , and when we want her , we just go get her. Then , when we're done having her visit , we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things , but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

Very Short Story
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells out window, BITCH!
Man rounds next curve.
Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.
Thought For the Day:
If men would just listen

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

I am seeing 8 gentlemen every day..
As soon as I wake up,
Will Power helps me get out of bed
Then I go to see John .
Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here, he takes a lot of my time and attention.
When he leaves, Arthur Ritis
shows up and; stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with
Ben Gay. What a life!
Oh, yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer
and thinking of calling
JACK DANIELS or
JOHNNY WALKER to come to keep me company.
Now remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper ...the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes...

Though not a big fan of his I have to say that these 3 books are realy good.
They go on the premises that the doctor was real, still alive & still creating people he can program.
But human nature can't be stopped. These books take a pretty good look at hope & desire.
I think they are very good reading.

Secrets to making a marriage last...
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!", so I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."
My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

I didn't choose one untill I joined here. My first choise was Kathleen & I went by Kat. Then my niece was born & they named her Kathleen. I knew if they ever found out I was using that name all hell would break lose. Karen was born. I evan think it fits me better.
Brad is a version of my last name.

Penny I guess what I ment was that trying to be fem in all things is fine. But you are right spending to much time & or worry about things like that is not good. Faking such things is a great way to out yourself because it looks & sounds fake.
Actually I thought this thread kind of funny. Everyone was critisising everyone from start to finish.
Anyway enough of this stuff. Lets all go out & have some fun. How soon can you be here?

This thread has been something to read.
To say that only real TS's behave in a certain manor is so wrong. I've read here of a group that only lets others in if in thier dreams they are women because a real TS would never be a man while dreaming. No one mold covers all of us.
If a person feels they want to feminize themselves in every area they can to try & appear more feminine so what.
How many of us are willing to have surgery to appear more feminine. Yet I've never read anyone telling them that it's a little over the top. Aren't mannerisms part of a persons apperance. I know of many that practise walking, talking, sitting, standing. So why not everything else.
And no one should be criticized fo not wanting to be outed. Remember your life is not thiers.

Rose I don't know if you were here when Anne was.
She caused a lot of discord among members. If you didn't agree with her you were insulted. A lot of her post were deleted for being rude. A good number of members left the site rather that put up with all the crap that was going on. So if you want to take me to task than do it but know why we are saying the things we are saying first.

Natalie/Anne whatever name you want to use. Like before I can't make sence of the things you post. Your use of english is awfull.
I have been shaking my head at the stupidity of this thread from the start. Anne you allways try to defend yourself by predending to be someone else & having them praise you. From the time you first came here the only person to ever praise you is you, and you do it a lot.
Why don't you just go away & stay gone.

Fact One: There was a 19th century Native American tribal chief who went under the name, "Not Able to Fornicate."
Fact Two: A long time ago in Japan, a wife being left handed was grounds for divorce.
Fact Three: There is a law in the state of Idaho that does not permit one citizen to give another citizen a box of candy that is heavier than 50 pounds - now where exactly can you find a box of candy that large?
Fact Four: There was once a fish caught in Delaware Bay with a watch still ticking inside.
Fact Five: In Alabama, it is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
Fact Six: In Canada, the color of a house and garage doors is regulated by city bylaws – and don’t even think about having a purple door, or you'll be slapped with a fine!
Fact Seven: From 1976 to 1987, there were no red-colored M&Ms.
Fact Eight: Unlike other four-legged animals, it is impossible for the kangaroo to walk backwards.
Fact Nine: Did you know that Wheel of Fortune beauty Vanna White holds a world record? She's put her hands together approximately 140,000 to clap!
Fact Ten: When Coca-Cola first started to be sold in China, the company used characters that would sound just like "Coca-Cola" when spoken. Unfortunately, what they turned out to mean was "Bite the wax tadpole". Not surprisingly, Coca-Cola did not sell well.
Fact Eleven: Teenage boys were often hired as telephone operators when telephone companies first began. However, this trend soon ended when these boys spent more time wrestling and pulling prank calls than actually working.
Fact Twelve: William Taft, the President of the United States from 1909 to 1913, was so large that he once got stuck in a White House bath tub.
Fact Thirteen: In the United Kingdom, no cows may be driven down a roadway between 10 am and 7 pm unless granted permission from the Commissioner of Police.
Fact Fourteen: How’s this for a catch-22? In Sweden, prostitution is legal; however, it is illegal to use the services of a prostitute.
Fact Fifteen: There were 43,687 toilet related accidents in the United States in 1996.

I need help! This is bugging the hell out of me!!!!
It's, well, it's that little seem on the toe of my pantyhose & knee-highs.
When I get dressed in the morning I allways make sure it's nice & straight across the front of my toes.
Yet everday I can feel it down there. Every pair, every brand. I can feel it under my toes. I've tried fixing it but it just rolls back down.
And as the day wears on it feels bigger & bigger.
I grew up an only son with 4 sisters, so I've heard all the complaints about the things women had to wear. Never have any of them bitched about this. I've herad about how the crotches being down around thier knees or crawling up thier rears. But never anything about the toes.
So is it just me or does this bother anyone else?

I had that feeling allmost as soon as she started posting. Not so much as what she says but the way she says them.
If it is her I say we let it be. She is coming across much better than before.
In fact Nikki you should delete this thread. I realy don't think you should stir the pot. At least not yet.

There was a girl here that posted a thread on this same topic a couple of years ago.
All she wanted to be was a woman. She was post op, young , & good looking. But she felt she would never realy be seen as a woman as long as people thought of her as that TS girl. So for her to fully complete her transformation she wanted to be where people didn't see the TS but the woman. She just wanted a clean start.
I moved for a very simular reason. I was a drug addict & everyone knew it. After I got clean I couldn't get rid of being thought of as an addict. So I moved to be able to start over.
The same with her.

Expert says, Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,
No crap, really? Ya think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's how you save taxpayers money!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Lazy so and so's
------------------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Who put this genius in charge?!?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

A cultural phenome wouldn't have lasted all that long. No they were real. John was a song writer unequal to anyone.
They did go a bit over the top in marketing in the early stages, but they didn't know if it would last, so they were cashing while they could.

After a challenging day at work, with the boss & me blowing up at each other over a cell that kept stopping. I came home ready for a very cold frozen margeritas. I got my mail out of the box & found a check. I'm not rich or anything but it will pay my mortgage for a few months.
Needless to say, I'm not realy angry anymore.
Had any good suprises lately?

I have been reading this very closely hoping to find an answer. I am very hairy from the neck down. Places I can't reach like my back are not real thick but to thick to let it show. It's funny places like my legs & underarms are kind of thin, While my chest & stomoch are coverd with short curly hair. Shaving takes a couple of hours on a good day.
Maybe they can strap me into a harness & dip me into a pool of acid. But it's these things that make it hard for me to be who I want to be.

Mere I'm sorry about your loss.
I never know what to say at these times so just take a silent & big hug from me.
I was planning to come out next Friday but if you'd rather I wait please just let me know.

I have no problem with shaving. I stand in the shower with a track 2 & rub it up & down my legs. The upward motion shaves the hair & the downward motion cleans off the blades. I can do this as fast as I like with out trouble. No nicks or cuts.
I use lotion to soften my skin after toweling off.

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!
A minister decided that a visual demonstration
would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation -
What did you learn from this demonstration???
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate,
you won't have worms!'
That pretty much ended the service.

Cristine I read all your jokes, there great. I'm graetfull to you for taking it on yourself to keep it going. I seem to post a lot for a bit then not at all for a bit. Guess I'm a moody bitchh.lol
If you'd like I can ask Katie to add you on as a monitor.
I don't know you but your post make me smile & for that reason I like you.

I'm not one of those that wake up with a smile every morning. In fact I'm pretty much brain dead at first. I get up go turn on the kitchen light & head to the bathroom.
This morning I'm sitting there with my gown hiked up & my panties down past my knees thinking about nothing. I see a flicker in the corner of my eye & look over to the door. There's a big black spider. I don't panic at the site of a spider never have, unless they get on me. So for that reason I am leary of them. Well this one was not moving at first, but with surprisingly fast little legs it runs under my gown where I can't see it.
Just as fast I'm awake. I pick up one leg then the other but I don't see it. Is it climbing up my gown?
Now I'm freaking out, I'm sitting on the toilet doing this fast little dance trying to find out where it went. I can't get up I'm not done yet. So as fast as I can, I finish up, get up & yank off my gown while jumping & turning around.
Then I see it by the sink, it never was on me.
I'm very much awake, the spider is outside where it belongs, & all is right with the world again.

The content was good, but I did have the same problem of the page jumping around.
I think this has real potential. With time I think it could grow into a real mag with expanding readership.
With readers outside TW.

I buy a lot of my clothes online. I get email from these sites using both Karen & my other name.
I've noticed that Karen gets a better price from Womanwithin for the same sale than my male name gets.
Are they charging TS's more than GG's?
I wonder if other clothing sites do the same thing?
It's not much but I hate the idea.
See below.
Note: it cut it off but in the first add the tote is free, & in the second it's 2.99

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again...
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years, .........
just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine..

I've had 5 laser treatments & all I look is splotchy. I paid for 6 but they will continue to do it every month for 2yrs as was thier guarantee. But they said with my heavy beard it would take more than just 6.

Not in your shoes as I'm not married. But what to do?
That can only be decided by you as each life is it's own. If you realy feel that you want to take it further I'd start with someone to talk with. Yes I mean a shrink.

My sister called to ask if I wanted to go out for breakfast with her & my other sister. I then heard sister2 telling sister1 to tell me to dress more manly so that I don't embarrass them. Sister1 said so what it doesn't embarrass her how I dress. Sister2 said that it does her. I told not to worry I wasn't going.
I didn't get angry, just a bit suprised. I thought we were past all that.
My clothes are getting to be more femm looking. If I can ever get rid of this shadow on my face I will be full time.
Well except for work.

Q. Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.
Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger?
A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give you their phone number.
Q. My parents say they never had fax when they were young, and were only allowed to write memo's to each other until they were 21. How old do you think someone should be before they can fax?
A. Faxing can be performed at any age once you learn the correct procedure.
Q. If I fax something to myself will I go blind?
A. Certainly not. As far as we can see.
Q. There is a place on our street where you can go and pay to fax. Is this legal?
A. Yes, many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and must pay a "professional" when their needs become too great.
Q. Should a cover always be used for faxing?
A. Unless you are really sure of the one you are faxing, a cover should always be used.
Q. What happens if I do the procedure incorrectly and fax prematurely?
A. Don't panic. Many people fax prematurely when they haven't faxed in a long time. Just start over, most people won't mind if you try again.
Q. I have a personal and a business fax. Can transmissions become mixed up?
A. Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but so long as you use a cover with each one you won't transmit anything you're not supposed to.
Q. Is getting faxed by one person the same as with another?
A. No. Even though many people (especially lawyers) would like you to believe that the longer they are faxing you the better you will like it. In reality the best fax is short, of high quality, and very graphic.
Q. There is a man I'd very much like to fax (I've tried several times) but he can't seem to keep his equipment up long enough. Is there any thing I can do to help him?
A. You could suggest that he contact a good fax therapist, such as Canon or Mitsubishi. If he refuses to take the suggestion, it would be best if you just wrote him off.

I was watching a show about 3 different TS's. One girl was hard for money to continue her treatment. So she resorted to backroom help. Getting silicon injections to have larger breasts from someone she didn't realy know. In fact she had to get on a list & wait for her turn. While being interviewed her responce to all the health risk were that no one lives forever.

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

She was only a...
PLUMBER'S daughter but she sure gave my heart a wrench.
STABLEMAN'S daughter but she handled all the horse manure.
HACKER'S daughter but all her bits were in their proper arrays.
BUTCHER'S daughter but she could REALLY pack Salami!
GYNECOLOGIST'S daughter but she could sure play her vulva!
STOCKBROKER'S daughter but she could really ride the BULLS!
TAXI DRIVER'S daughter but she knew how to keep your meter running
ACCOUNTANT'S daughter but she sure knew how to keep her BOTTOM line profitable.
FARMER'S daughter but she knew her carrots from her carats!
FURRIER'S daughter but she knew how to produce minks!
PROGRAMMER'S daughter but she sure knew her 1's from her 0's!
SHEEP FARMER'S daughter but she sure knew how to fleece her flock!
PREACHER'S daughter but she sure knew how to fleece her flock!
FISHMONGER'S daughter she had crabs on her place, poor soul.
ELECTRICIAN'S daughter but she had all the right connections.
COAL MINER'S daughter but she had a mine of her own.
MARINE COLONEL'S daughter but she was rotten to the corps.
ARTIST'S daughter but she knew where to draw the line.
BUS DRIVER'S daughter but she knew where to get off.
ARCHITECT'S daughter but she knew all the angles.
FISHERMAN'S daughter but when she saw my rod she reeled.
MINISTER'S daughter but I wouldn't put anything pastor.

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.
Men keep'a readin
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."
The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bull. I gotta go home and screw the cat."

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marsha
I don't realy see what your saying. What you wrote & what was wrote in the list say the samething, just different terminology.
You use the word gender where they use the word sex.
I don't think it's realy possible to define TS in one paragraph. I think they just tried to simplify it.
But what they said about calling someone a TV is right. Katie might want to take it out of the list.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
Free your heart from hatred - Forgive..
Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
Give more.
Expect less
NOW ............
Enough of that crap .. . . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover
your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

What is on your desktop wallpaper? A 3D pic I found on the web.
What is your favorite zoo animal? Tiger
What was your favorite toy as a child? Baseball glove.
What food do you eat too much of? Anything.
What kind of hairstyle do you have? Short combed to the side.
What was your favorite activity in gym class? Not getting beat up.
What is on the shirt you are wearing right now? Long navy blue nightgown.
What is the picture nearest to you of? None in this room.
What kind of salad dressing do you like? Ranch.
Whats your least favorite food? Seafood.
What do you do on a Sunday night? Go to bed early for work on Monday.
If you could only use one condiment on your food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Salt
What color are your sheets? Blue & white flowers.
How big is your computer display? 17in
What pair of shoes do you wear most often? Work boots.
What is your favorite game?
What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? My moms home made noodles.
What is your favorite pizza topping? Double peperoni
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow? 4am
What is your favorite day of the year? Don't have one.

You can realy get to know people with these.
What is on your desktop wallpaper?
What is your favorite zoo animal?
What was your favorite toy as a child?
What food do you eat too much of?
What kind of hairstyle do you have?
What was your favorite activity in gym class?
What is on the shirt you are wearing right now?
What is the picture nearest to you of?
What kind of salad dressing do you like?
Whats your least favorite food?
What do you do on a Sunday night?
If you could only use one condiment on your food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What color are your sheets?
How big is your computer display?
What pair of shoes do you wear most often?
What is your favorite game?
What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?
What is your favorite pizza topping?
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow?
What is your favorite day of the year?

What's your favorite underwear you own?
What's the worst pair of underwear you own?
What's the most embarrassing underwear you own?
What's your favorite color of underwear?
What color underwear will you not wear?
What's your favorite underwear on a member of the opposite sex?
What underwear do you hate seeing on a member of the opposite sex?
Have you ever lost your underwear while out somewhere?
Have you ever found someone's underwear while out somewhere?
How often do you buy new underwear?
Do you buy underwear for anyone but yourself?
Where do you like to buy your underwear?
Do you have a favorite brand of underwear?
Is there anywhere you refuse to buy underwear?
Do you own any novelty underwear?
Have you ever bought novelty underwear for anyone?
Have you ever worn someone else's underwear?
Has anyone else ever worn your underwear?
What type of underwear do you wear most?
Is there any kind of underwear you refuse to wear?

The links button didn't work for me.
If you double click the address at the top of the page you'll hi-lite it. Than right click & click copy.
When you want to add it to your post right click again & click paste. That will put the address in but it's not clickable yet.
At the begining of the address you have to add --- http:// --- at the end add ---
Hit preview to see if it worked.
That's how I did it.
Aslo if you scroll down it will show you the samething I just wrote.

Rae you seem to be bored so I found a list of things you can do.
Break into a friend's house and clean it
Call a wrong number and talk to whoever answers.
Catch a fly, then put in a jar and stick in the fridge (this cools their metabolism down), then tie the fly to the end of a thread 15in. and hold the other end of the thread while you watch it fly around (We have tested this and it works - a lot of patience is involved)
Chase your best friend round the sofa
Dance around your living room naked
Doodle or cartoon
Dress in something silly and laugh at yourself
Fiddle around with a Ouija board
Figure out how to get yourself on TV
Find an address to your favorite famous person and write them a letter. See if they write you back
Flip a coin 500 times to see who wins
Get on the radio
Give names to your body parts
Go shop for a really cool book
Go through the English dictionary looking up really long words like discombobulated.
Have a carpet picnic
Have a staring contest with yourself in the mirror.
Kiss your elbow, if you can.
Lay a long straight line of masking tape on the floor. Now spin around really fast then try walking on the masking tape.
Learn a new word in the dictionary
Learn to Juggle
Learn to peel a banana with your feet
Let a helium balloon float up to your ceiling and throw things at it to pop it
Listen to a type of music that you don't normally listen to
Listen to really hard music and head bang
Listen to some polka music and eat sausages
Make a list of the fun things you've already done, then admire how long your list is.
Make a trash can a basketball hoop and throw crumpled up paper for baskets
Patch some clothing
Phone your local government rep and see if you can convince him or her to have lunch with you
Plan a journey
Play bottle cap hockey...with pens as the sticks and a bottle cap as the puck
Play dress-up with all the clothes you have in your closet
Pronounce your friends names.backwards
Put doll clothes on your cat and play dress up
Rent a movie, 2 hours later go back to the same movie store and rent the sequel, 2 hours after that go back and get the third movie
Rent some fun movies
Roll your change
Run around your house as fast as you can and, count how many times you can go without getting tired.
Shave your head
Sit at your desk with your left arm sticking out until it goes numb
Snap your fingers as if suddenly you have a bright idea and see if you get any
Take a company that has been getting on your nerves - find out who the person is that you should write complaints too. Write a letter to them with the most trivial or confusing complaint. Ensure you talk in circles so that the letter is well written but extremely confusing
Take one hundred dollars out of the bank and spend it all on yourself
Throw a huge party for no reason at all
Turn on the T.V., put it on mute and make up dialogue
Washable crayons are a wonderful invention. Pick a wall and invite friends
Watch 101 Dalmatians and see if they really show 101 Dalmatians
Watch a foreign film
Watch cartoons (preferably funny stupid ones)
Write a big list of fun things to do
Write a limerick or twelve
Write a rant letter to the paper
Write out ten things that make you happy - then do one of them
You and a friend pick your noses and see who has the biggest boogers

I have been trying different lipsticks & need help in knowing whay colors to choose.
I mean to I try to match it with what I'm wearing or go by something else.
Also is there someway to get it to stay on longer? It seems like I have to redo it all the time.

I've been watching "Bourne Supremacy"
I love that line when thier in Germany & Jason is watching them through a window from a building outside.
He calls & ask to come in but he wants a certin girl to meet him. They say they might not be able to find her.
He says "It's easy she's standing right next to you"
I would have totaly freaked.
I love that scene. It made that whole movie worth watching.

Yes I remember that!!!! Being silly girls.
We did have a lot of fun when I joined this site.
That "Good Morning" thread would just go on & on everyday.
Cerys I've often wonderd if you were still around. I hope your well.
You know whos silly humor I realy miss---Rikki

Yes on both counts just put in my 2cents. Samething just different words.
Your first post never got past the point of a good discussion. But I'm sure Katie didn't want to wait.
These threads are something. People allways get mad & cancell thier memberships. From both sides.
It will come up again in a short time, it allways does.

Valerie Lynette
Last Logged In: Thursday December 21st, 2006
She left because of another member playing tranny police. She had sent out several nasty emails to some members.
Valerie & I were becoming friends as she lived farely close & were planning to get together for lunch or dinner soon.
Than all contact just stopped. Than I was told by another member that she was sick & not with us anymore.
I wish I knew the truth.

Any thread comparing TV's CD's & TS's is forbiden. Katie has closed that thread. It does not matter what forum it's in.
I've been here about 4yrs or so & every one of those threads has started something unintended by the person starting it.
So for the sake of TW it has to stay that way.

Hi Roxanne
Hun you can't be any more confusd than I was when I found this place. Like you I started thinking about what it would be like if I were a girl at a very early age. I also grew up with no one to talk to. Our lives as well as the lives of so many here mirror each other very well. That's way this site can help so much. We're about growth, community, frendship, & evan fun. Yes you can have fun with it. You might evan learn to like being TG.
Good luck!!!

Mistakes are being made due to the length of the first thread. So I'll start a new thread leading with Joni's last post.
Lets thank Anne for starting this, the fastest moving thread I've seen yet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Taking It to the Streets"...The Doobie Brothers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'll unlace the ties that bind you, and my fingers from your hand
And I'll lose you 'til I find you
And the woman in the man.
But your curse will be your blessing when the angel takes her place
In the body of the messenger with Aphrodite's face."
-Eliza Gilkyson, "Aphrodite's Face", from the album Lost and Found

I joined twitter twice, first as myself, than as Karen.
As myself no one cared what I wrote but I can follow celebs, rock bands, & read what they have to say about thier day.
But as Karen a TG, I have been hit on by predators. I've been sent at least 6 links to porn sites. The messages I've been getting I wont evan talk about.
I knew that this could happen but I didn't want to join as a woman since I'm not yet.
I was just hopping to find others like me but I haven't.

I think at one time when you clicked on the link in most popular post it did take you to that post.
To be honest I think it's annoying to click a link than have to scroll through it to find the one you clicked on.
But money allways being an issue & the fact that anything Katie has done cost a bundle of it. It's a small thing I can live with.

I don't think we need to edit your first post realy. Lets just start doing it from your last post on.
I think using words like "the,an, a, and, from a title takes some of the fun out of it.
But it's your game.

When I use to run in Detriot I knew a lot of these girls. There was nothing nice about it. For them it had nothing to do with liking sex. It was about $ & drugs. They often got hurt or got thier $ stolen from them. They would be forced to do degrading things or worse. I never met 1 that looked forward to going back out again. I think most hated themselfs for doing what they were doing.

I know he's afull member but if he's going to be allowed to continue like this I'm gone!!!
The last time something like this happend NO action was taken to stop it.
If I'm expeted to come here & read such hatefull threads I won't be coming back.
I won't go through it again.

I would like to say I'm sorry to Bryce
It was 3:30am, I had just woke up when I read your post. I start work at 5.
Having come home from work & rereading it I can see I took it wrong. The fact is I agree with a lot of it.
To believe in God is not a bad thing. But man has used it as a reason to do great damage to others.

I was watching the Simpsons lastnight. Bart was trying to impressa a girl.
He was helping around the house when Marge said Your a mothers favorite son, A girl.
Well I guess my mom should have love me all to peaces.
I wonder if that's true?

Marsha
How does a person prove themselfs to be TG before going to the bathroom?
Also using that definition of a pervert, who decides what is good & moral conduct?
Trust me a very large number of people would never let us be on the street since they think our lives are perverted by our gender issues.
To be honest I know what your talking about. But to a lot of people that don't have the understanding mind, gender & sex are the same things. I think that is why we will allways have a hard time getting acceptance.
Why when you express your opionion do you sound so angry?

The shame I feel after what I did lastnight is heavy.
It's not the kind of thing one can forgive herself for easily.
I watched the "Sound Of Music" from start to finish.
The realy hard part is that, well, I injoyed it.
There I said it.

Mine aren,t that long. But I do know what you mean. It takes time to file them right. But when they look evan & smooth it makes me feel good when I see them. My current color is Iced Ruby from N.Y.C. Awsome color.

Sorry but my lady friend came by & when she found out I was going to give the shoes away she took them.
I still think it was a good idea. A way for some girls with not a lot to spend to get some shoes.
We could do this with other items as well.

I'm doing some spring cleaning. I pulled everything out of my closets. I've got about 6 or 7 pair of shoes I don't wear anymore.
Later I will post pics here along with sizes. If anyone wants them all they need to do is pay for shipping.
It's give them away or throw them away.
If anyone thinks this could be a good idea please let me know.

Cristine, Tiina has in the past had a very large presence here.
She was allways friendly, up beat, with a good word & support for everyone.
She like a lot of others left for reasons of her own. I'm just happy to see her back.

It started this morning with snow & slush. Right then I should have gone back to bed.
I start work early in order to start the lines. It takes about 10min to start each one.
This morning it took 40min to get the first one going & it never ran right. Things just kept breaking down all day.
Power lines coming loose, sensors burning out.
Finely it got to be 1:30, I get off at 20. Guess who gets called into the office to work over.
We got in a new die & it had to be set & ran so that our tool room could tweak it in.
I did my nails over the weekend. File, buff, & clearcoat. They realy looked nice.
Right now there is enough dirt under them to plant grass.
I think I'll cry & go to bed early.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who attempted to drive to EuroDisney?
A: She saw a sign saying: "EuroDisney Left" so she went home.
Did you hear about the blonde who put under Education on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...
Q: What did the blonde girl name her pet Zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: What does a blonde Owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you see when you look directly into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: What did the Dumb Blonde do when she went to a film that had an NC-17 (no under 17's) rating? A: Went home and got 16 friends.
Q: What do you call a blond behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde writes Mysteries?
A: She's got a checkbook.
Q: How can you tell a FAX has been sent from a blonde?
A: There's a stamp on it.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: Threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: Keep breakin em' with hammers.
Q: What's the difference between blondes and McDonald's?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.
Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers?
A: Her IQ goes up.
Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.
Q: What's the guaranteed method to totally confuse a Blonde Man?
A: Ask him to alphabetise a King-size bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What's the difference between a dumb blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: Manages to get the Pop Tarts out the toaster in one piece.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier

Just wanted to let you know that the New Homeland Security Bill has passed.
Things will be different now and Internet surfing as you know it will be tracked by what the FBI calls a
'non intrusive method.' The FBI says you will hardly notice anything different.
Be careful what you send !
For a demonstration, click on the link below:
Homeland Security

M/A if you want to go back farther you can add a lot more names to the list of people that don't come here anymore.
You can also list many different reasons. People will allways come & go. Some we'll miss some we won't.

Anna if you get rid of all the mods just who is going to monitor the room.
Maybe your right we need a hostess that sits home allday doing nothing but talking in the chat room.
But than she wouldn't have anything worth talking about would she.

I don't think a doctor should have any say as to when a person starts RLE after starting on mones.
But I also think a person should not be allowed to have SRS untill they do have RLE.
Some people are just ready to start sooner than others. If a person can't decide on thier own as to when, than that person has no buisness getting SRS.

It is a great feeling isn't it. You won't be able to stop now.
Penny plans weekends out for TW members. If you can't go for the whole weekend try meeting them on a single night.
Your first night out with others is one you'll never forget.

No Katie I don't have answers.
Having been to other sites with forums, a lot of them limit basic members to Intro & General forums. keeping all others for full members.
I think before starting your new site you might want to pool full members for more opinions.
Or pick a select few of the more level headed ones to see how you can intice more paying members.

Some my not like this but it's just my 2cents.
Basic membership should get full access to the forums as they are now.
The chat room & blogs should also be open for them.
The Trib should be free to all in order to get adverts to as many as you can. If you limit who can see the ads you may have to cut the price.
No I don't think our gallery should be open to basic members. We don't want some guys posting pics of thier thingies as a joke.
TW's heart & soul is communication with others like ourselfs. Lets not limit that in any way.

Your right we have talked about this stuff before.
Basic membership should only get basic service.
To say that basic members contribute many ideas & some great points is fine but that doesn't pay the bills.

I know it's not till Tues but the partys are this weekend.
I've been to 2 bars for the free food & I started drinking about 1pm. The plan was to not get drunk untill later.
Well I screwed that up early.
Now I won't drink green beer. I want to throw up before I evan take the first drink. I'm no wisky drinker, I think that's what got to me so fast. So no more of that for the night.
Wanting to stay with the theme of things I made a pitcher of Pina Coladas with some green dye. It realy taste good.
Man this is taking forever to type making lots of corrections.
I should have stopp3ed drinking when I got home but it didn't seem rightr.
I'm supposed to be at another party right now. But hell I made it home without going to jail so I think I should just stay here.
HAPPY ST PATTY"S DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday we had a family dinner at my neices. Some of the family anyway.
It's allmost a 2hr drive. About 50 I decided I should leave since it was raining. I don't like driving at night in the rain.
They tried talking me into staying untill it let up. My sister said she was staying & we could follow each other home later.
But I wanted to go so I did.
My sister called me at home later to say that the water was up over her headlights & it was still raining.
She'd be there for at least 3 or 4 days.
It's wierd because it rained all the way home & I was getting mad at myself for not staying.
I feel pretty good now.

I've never done anything in poles, surveys, cards, & tranny adds seems to me to be very under used.
Credit Balance & games are there just for fun.
As Lucy said Chat Room, Forums, Blog, Galleries are a must. At least for me, I joined for the forums.

I have to agree that most of us have claimed to be more or less than we realy are to others.
But do we do the same to ourselfs.
How many TS's have familys or friends & so lie to themselfs that they are only CD's when in thier harts they realy want or need more.
Sammi were you lying to us or were you voicing what you realy want?

After a spring break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent the holidays. One child wrote the following:
"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
"They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.
"At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.
"My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night - Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the doll house to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.
"My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day too. When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren."

It can buy a house
But not a home
It can buy a bed
But not sleep
It can buy a clock
But not time
It can buy you a book
But not knowledge
It can buy you a position
But not respect
It can buy you medicine
But not health
It can buy you blood
But not life
It can buy you sex
But not love
So you see, money isn’t everything.
And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your friend.
And as your friend,
I want to take away your pain and suffering...
So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.
CASH ONLY PLEASE!!

Sayings
...from little kids, sometimes the wisest of all...
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him.
Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.
Stay away from prunes.
Never pee on an electric fence.
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.
When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
Don’t sneeze in front of your mom when you’re eating crackers.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don’t wear polkadot underwear under white shorts.
Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.
Never try to baptize a cat.

I've found that a good wig is not something you want to pinch pennies with.
The best way to find something that looks good is to go someplace that sells wigs.
The bad thing about buying online is that you won't know what it looks like untill you try it on.

WOW!!
Be carefull.
I was 16. working at a gas station, when this guy walked in looked around than pointed a gun at me.
It was a big black revolver & I could see the bullets. That pitcher will never go away. I can still see it as though it just happend yesterday.
During my drug years on the street I've had nurmerous guns pointed at me but they never had the impact that that first time had.

Kids know more about this world than we give them credit for.
Given time & a clue here & there they can come up with the right answers.
Most people would't evan think a child could know about these kind of things.
So for the other girls that think thier kids have no idea, don't be suprised if & when you think it's time they were told they know a lot more than you thought.
Mere I'm sorry it came down on you like this. But know I'm allways here if you need me.
Just let me know what I can do & I'll do it.

Lynn we love a good debate but this subject causes bad feelings among members.
In fact this thread will be deleted as soon as Nikki or Wendy see it.
Please do not take it personly. It's the subject not the person that posted it.

Since a full member can build a free site here with no worry about content I don't see a problem.
As long as the site being referred to is not selling some kind of goods, who cares?
.
To change the subject for a moment Danique how is have the 2 of you been.
From the first time I started reading your posts I liked both of you very much. You were a lot of fun to read.
I hope your doing well.

I think we've all heard the question "without looking what color are your SO's eyes"
Now when getting dressed I try to match my underthings with what I'm going to wear.
But when I'm going to wear jeans I just grab a pair off the top without caring what color they are.
I have a drawer over full of panties in all kinds of colors & patterns, so there's no telling what's on top at any given time.
I thought I was wearing blue but in the ladies room saw they are turquoise.
So a question for you! Without looking "what color panties are you wearing??
Question 2
Where you right or wrong??

Burma Shave has a history in the US for fun road signs. They were removed in 1963 after the company was sold.
WE'VE MADE
GRANDPA
LOOK SO TRIM
THE LOCAL
DRAFT BOARD'S AFTER HIM
BURMA SHAVE
OUR FORTUNE IS YOUR
SHAVEN FACE
IT'S OUR BEST
ADVERTISING SPACE
BURMA SHAVE
PEDRO
WALKED
BACK HOME, BY GOLLY
HIS BRISTLY CHIN
WAS HOT-TO-MOLLY
BURMA SHAVE
WHEN THE STORK
DELIVERS A BOY
OUR WHOLE
DARN FACTORY
JUMPS FOR JOY
BURMA SHAVE
THE POOREST GUY
IN THE HUMAN RACE
CAN HAVE A
MILLION DOLLAR FACE
BURMA SHAVE
THIRTY DAYS
HATH SEPTEMBER
APRIL
JUNE AND THE
SPEED OFFENDER
BURMA SHAVE
IF DAISIES
ARE YOUR
FAVORITE FLOWER
KEEP PUSHIN' UP THOSE
MILES-PER-HOUR
BURMA SHAVE
SUBSTITUTES
CAN LET YOU DOWN
QUICKER
THAN A
STRAPLESS GOWN
BURMA SHAVE
THE BIG BLUE TUBE'S
JUST LIKE LOUISE
YOU GET
A THRILL
FROM EVERY SQUEEZE
BURMA SHAVE
"NO, NO,"
SHE SAID
TO HER BRISTLY BEAU
"I'D RATHER
EAT THE MISTLETOE"
BURMA SHAVE
TRAIN APPROACHING
WHISTLE SQUEALING
PAUSE!
AVOID THAT
RUNDOWN FEELING!
BURMA SHAVE
UNLESS
YOUR FACE
IS STINGER FREE
YOU'D BETTER LET
YOUR HONEY BE
BURMA SHAVE
THIS CREAM
MAKES THE
GARDENER'S DAUGHTER
PLANT HER TU-LIPS
WHERE SHE OUGHTER
BURMA SHAVE
IF YOUR PEACH
KEEPS OUT
OF REACH
BETTER PRACTICE
WHAT WE PREACH
BURMA SHAVE
TO KISS
A MUG
THAT'S LIKE A CACTUS
TAKES MORE NERVE
THAN IT DOES PRACTICE
BURMA SHAVE
SHE EYED
HIS BEARD
AND SAID NO DICE
THE WEDDING’S OFF
I’LL COOK THE RICE
BURMA SHAVE
A CHIN
WHERE BARBED WIRE
BRISTLES STAND
IS BOUND TO BE
A NO MA’AMS LAND
BURMA SHAVE
USE THIS CREAM
A DAY
OR TWO
THEN DON’T CALL HER —
SHE’LL CALL YOU
BURMA SHAVE
A CHRISTMAS HUG
A BIRTHDAY KISS
AWAITS
THE WOMAN
WHO GIVES THIS
BURMA SHAVE
SUBSTITUTES
ARE LIKE A GIRDLE
THEY FIND SOME JOBS
THEY JUST
CAN’T HURDLE
BURMA SHAVE
PAST
SCHOOLHOUSES
TAKE IT SLOW
LET THE LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
BURMA-SHAVE
IS HE LONESOME
OR JUST BLIND
THIS GUY WHO
DRIVES
SO CLOSE BEHIND?
BURMA-SHAVE.
MANY A FOREST
USED TO STAND
WHERE A
LIGHTED MATCH
GOT OUT OF HAND
BURMA SHAVE
THE ONE WHO
DRIVES WHEN
HE’S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING
THE BEARDED LADY
TRIED A JAR
SHE’S NOW
A FAMOUS
MOVIE STAR
BURMA SHAVE
IF YOU THINK
SHE LIKES
YOUR BRISTLES
WALK BARE-FOOTED
THROUGH SOME THISTLES
BURMA SHAVE

FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
Amen

From our silent member Julie Anne
Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe! They are in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers. I started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and started walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! "What's going on here?" "My car has a flat tire," I said calmly. "Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?" I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Hello-o-o-o-o-o, those are my emergency flashers!"

I became confused when I heard these terms with reference to the word 'service'.
Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service' \
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'
This is not what I thought 'service' meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few cows.
BAM!!! It all came into focus.
Now I understand what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us.
Now you are as enlightened as I am.

It's no secret how much I love my morning coffee. The best part of the day.
But did you know that there are other ways to use filters.
1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.
2. Clean windows and mirrors. Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.
3. Protect China. Separate your good dishes by putting a coffee filter between each dish.
4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the
wine through a coffee filter.
5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent
rust.
6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.
7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.
8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.
9. Hold tacos. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods.
10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent
the soil from going through the drainage holes.
11. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter.
12. Do you think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters.
13. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc. on them.
Soaks out all the grease.
14. Keep in the bathroom. They make great 'razor nick fixers'.

I have to ask. Why was that thread allowed to run for as long as it did.
I did read it when it was posted. But saw fast that it took a bad turn.
I kept thinking that it would be stopped, but it wasn't.

TW. Support makes a lot of difference in your self perceptions and helps dump the self-denial and self-disgust that society can place on us.
Wendy I love the way you stated that, it's exactly right in my case.
David the people that say you were joking are fine. Let them think that. If your ever ready to take things farther you can deal with how to come out then.
Your girlfriend, well I don't know she sounds like she might be bitter over it. If you continue dressing in front of her she'll probably out you anyway if she gets mad. That is if things stand as they are. If you want to keep the relationship you will have to take it very slowly & hope that she may come to understand.
Good Luck!

When I saw that hat she was wearing at the inaugural I thought it was ridiculous.
Yet from what I read in this morning paper it was loved by all.
There selling by the hundreds. I thought it was very gaudy.
I went online to a bunch of sites & they all say what a great looking hat it is.
Is my fashion sence realy that bad?

I have an appointment today with my doctor to see about getting on hormones.
This is not the first time I've tried. But it was my old shrink that was preventing me then.
I'll let you all know what he says this time.

It was also the time for disco. I did & still do not like it at all.
My best disco memory comes from Chicago. A ballgame between Detriot & the White Sox.
It was a double header & for halftime a disk jocky was going to blow up disco albums.
50,000 people showed up & let fly albums they had brought. Than stormed the field.
There was so much damage that the second game was never played.

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it. They are:
A. Apple
B. Banana
C. Strawberry
D. Peach
E. Orange
Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!
Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN
If you have chosen:
A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples
B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas
C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries
D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches
E. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges
I hope you find fulfilment in this new insight about yourself. May it bring you peace and understanding, tranquillity and all that other profound stuff.

I gave up on eyeliner. I can do a bit of shadow since I started using a brush insted of that little pad on a stick.
I can also use mascara but my eyelashes are nothing to brag about. It's odd but as thick as my hair is my eyebrows are allmost nonexistent, very thin & light.
I have allways had nice hair. When I was younger & wore it long, my sisters use to tell me it wasn't fair.
I still have all my hair though I wear it above my ears now. After I shower I brush it once & it stays that way for the day.

When I bought my pc some time back from dell. The salesman asked if I wanted it for downloading music.
I told him I was more of a video person & he said I would realy like the surround sound speaker system.
Later I got an ipod & started downloading music. My pc sounds a lot better than the stereo I have, which is not a cheep system.
I've downloaded all my cd's onto it & have bought a lot more songs from itunes.
What I like most is that I can buy only the songs I like without having to buy the whole cd.
Nikki you can buy an armband attachment & take your ipod with you on the slopes.

:: BREAKING NEWS :::
In 2009, the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people.
I started crying when I thought of you guys.
Run, my little crazy friends, run!
Well, what can I say. Someone sent it to me and I'm not going alone.

If there weren't so many different styles of clothes. Some of the tunics I see are just so awsome.
But realy how many does a person need?
My new kick is shoes. But there not cheep. I've bought 3 pair & just keep looking.
I have been reading what you girls have posted & sent 4 credit cards to thier deaths.
I'm keeping my debit card & my last cc which I don't owe an yet. It has a low limit & charges 2.9%
I've cancelled email alerts from my favorit shopping sites.
Beyond that I just have to learn to say no.

Anna your letting you age show.
I like a lot of music from the 90's upto today.
Remember they tried to have Elvis banned, calling it crap.
People that liked Elvis didn't like the Beetles & so on.
It's allways the younger generation that sets the tone for new music & thier parents allways hate it.
My taste runs from the 60's to 80's for the most part.

I have a real problem with compulsive shopping. I love buying new clothes & just spending money.
The trouble is I spend more than I can afford. But it seems like I'm allways looking for something new.
This is for real. I'm getting in way over my head. I have to force myself not to buy something allmost everyday.
I should have no problem with paying my bills, but I'm barly getting by. I'm starting to get a bit scared as I don't seem to be able to stop.
Any help you girls might be able to pass on would be great!!!

I went to American Laser Treatment for a consult at noon. Now I go back at 5 for my first treatment.
It's not cheap by any means but if I don't do something, I mean I need more cover than Bozo to hide my beard.
Full beard is between 18 & 19 hundred $. 6 treatments to start & more if needed at no extra cost.
She said it will sting like the snapping of a rubber band. I just hope I don't cry.lol
Just so there was no mistake it was Karen that went. Trust me I left no doubt.

Good for you.
We must move forward in life or stop growing as a person.
What you said about others saying your not TS because you've not sufferd enough. Where do they come up with that crap?
You are a good person & I'm glad your still with us.

Nikki
I knew there had to be at least one thing about you I didn't like.
I have to get a 12W & they only sometimes fit. And since breaking my toe last summer I can't wear anything bigger than a 1in heel.

A true story.
A friend of mine teaches 1st grade. She was trying to get her kids to come up with the answer white.
So she asked them what color her teeth were. Well she heard yellow, grey. & light brown no one said white.
She said as soon as she got home she was on the phone to have her teeth cleaned.
She also learned not to ask those type of questions if you don't want to know.

7 reason s not to mess with children.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet? '
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly
contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by
hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload
Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your
colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!!
This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come
into contact with WORK, you should immediately leave the premises.
Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both
of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome
Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until
WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

My dear friends,
Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below.
How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:
You need four maxi pads to make a pair.
Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.
The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.
Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.
Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.
These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: (1.) Regular, (2.) Light and (3.) Get out the Sand Bags.
I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself....
Awaiting your response It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you.

SOME PICTURES MAY BE DISTURBING. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED ...
Bear Attack in Churchill , Manitoba , Canada .
These are pictures of an actual polar bear attack in Churchill.
These pictures were taken while people watched and could do nothing to stop the attack!
Reports from the local newspaper say that the victim will make a full recovery...
The photo's are below.

Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and
it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race
again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered
the
pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline
read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S
ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the pastor to get
rid
of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a
nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
the following headline
the
next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to
get rid of the donkey, so
she
sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN
SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the nun to buy back
the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run
wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . .. . being
concerned about public opinion
can
bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your
life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
you'll be a lot happier
and
live longer!
Have
A nice day!

I was looking at some junk stuff for Christmas ideas when I found this site.
It's called Dr Leonards. They have all that junk you can buy on TV.
They also had a tab for apperal. I, being the shopping junky that I am, checked it out.
Thier prices were realy low. So I thought it was junk. But I saw a winter coat for only $29.99
Thinking all I had to lose was $30 I ordered it.
It came today & it's not junk at all. It's a real nice winter coat. Good quality.
So if your looking for a deal look here.
http://www.drleonards.com/home.cfm

I'm sure we've put a stop to the new ones since Katie's added a link for approval.
But was bored & went through some random profiles & found these.
Sarah use to be able to delete them. I was wondering if Nikki can as well.
I think we can all go through some profiles when things are slow & get rid of some.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating.
You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he asks solemnly.
The wife is almost reduced to tears herself, just thinking how caring and sensitive her husband is.
'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses.
The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your dad caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'
'I remember that, too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says....'I would have gotten out today.'

Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curios. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny she told him to hide behind the curtains.
One night he watched his older sister and her boyfriend, and the following morning Johnny described everything to his mother. Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off most of the lights.
Then he started to kiss and hug her, I figured sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except he's not as good as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got toward the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever because sis told him she was really HOT.
Finally, I found out what was making them so sick.... a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 9 inches long. HONEST! anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it she got really scared. Her eyes big and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. I should tell her about the ones I saw at the lake.
"Anyway", sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by bitting its head off. All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go... I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head to keep it from biting again.
Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it. And he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishing it between them.
After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and sure enough they had killed the eel... I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend must have been a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. And by golly, the eel wasn't dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats.... they have nine lives or something.
This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time because I saw sis's boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet.
Mother fainted

Marsha
Loved the jokes.
Southern Bell
I've allways wanted to wear one of those dresses with the big flowing skirt & all the ruffels.
Like in gone with the wind. But the corsettes they had to wear than were killers.

Chewing gum can 'enhance breasts'
Pueraria mirifica is full of active chemicals
A chewing gum which the makers say can help enhance the size, shape and tone of the breasts has proved to be a big hit in Japan.
B2Up says its Bust-Up gum, when chewed three or four times a day, can also help improve circulation, reduce stress and fight ageing.
The gum works by slowly releasing compounds contained in an extract from a plant called Pueraria mirifica.
In theory, this helps to keep the muscle tissue in good order.
Pueraria mirifica, also known as Kwao Krua, is a species found in Thailand and Burma.
It has long been used by indigenous hill tribe people as a traditional medicine.
The plant's underground tubers contain a number of chemicals called phytoestrogens - natural compounds which mimic the effects of the female sex hormone oestrogen.
These include miroestrol and deoxymiroestrol, which are believed to exert a particularly strong effect, as they are very close in chemical structure to oestradiol, the main human oestrogen.
B2Up says that it is the effect of these two chemicals, coupled with a third phytooestrogen isoflavone, which makes its gum so effective.
It cites tests carried out by Thailand's Chulalongkorn University which found Pueraria mirifica therapy was able to enhance breast size by 80%.
Further tests carried out in England found that the plant had a beneficial effect on the skin, and hair, as well as the breasts.
The company also markets different Pueraria products, including pills, and tea.
The gum, which comes in rose flavour, has proved so popular that there are plans to start selling it in convenience stores.
Scepticism
Claire Williamson, of the British Nutrition Foundation, said research had suggested phytoestrogens may be beneficial in post-menopausal women in terms of reducing menopausal symptoms, and may also have beneficial effects on risk factors for heart disease and osteoporosis.
A role in breast cancer has also been suggested.
But she said research had suggested that isoflavone supplements are not as effective in managing menopausal symptoms as isoflavone rich foods such as soya.
Furthermore, consumption of isoflavones may need to be life-long in order to have beneficial effects on postmenopausal symptoms.
"So there is clear evidence of the potential health benefits of consuming isoflavone-rich foods such as soya, however consumption in the form of a gum has not been extensively studied and such products may be simply another food gimmick."

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One ... men will screw anything.
Why did God create man?
Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
What's the difference between men an government bonds?
Bonds mature.
How are men like noodles?
They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing.
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know .... it's never happened.

Hi Nikki
Sorry I wasn't there. Dinner at my sisters.
But I had the same idea of changing a forum.
Start a daily topic from the news or else where. It could be about anything.
I don't have any details made up I was just bouncing it around in my head.

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET #12659 ---
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She imme diately moved to another seat. This time
the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the l ady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her cond ition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Y our Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'.. . I just lost it.'
'CASE DISMISSED!!'

After reading Marsha's first responce I chose to stay out of this thread. But my sister & I had this same talk a few weeks ago so I was very intrested to see what people had to say. For the most part it's a good thread.

This will drive you nuts. The site instructions are in Japanese, so read below!
1. Touch ʼstartʼ
2. Wait for 3, 2, 1.
3. Memorize the number's position on the screen, and then click the circle from
the smallest number to the biggest number.
4. At the end of game, the computer will tell you the age of your brain.
Brain Test

The Itch
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.
Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew
that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch
them, but he had to try.. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his
colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio
thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than
satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured
a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she
dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to
the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King
and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would
cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of
Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to
their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching
powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick
worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The
Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and
hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio
demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now
satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could
never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to get
lost.
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching
powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick.
The moral of the story............
Pay your bills.

Sad News
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote 'The Hokie Pokey' died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in....and then the trouble started.
It's sick but I bet you smiled.

One More
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF...
- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.
- You wear combat boots with a minidress.
- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.
- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft." (Karren how many of these do you have?)
- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
- You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.
- Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.
- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
- You keep spare ammo in your bra.
- You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.
- Your purse is a toolbox.
- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.
- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
- You call your vanity "your work bench."
- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.
- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.
- Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.
- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.
- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
-. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.
- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.

The following lament was seen on the back of a toilet door "My mother made me a transvestite"
Underneath some wit had added "If I give her the wool, will she make me one too?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man went into the doctors wearing a transparent skirt and no underwear. The doctor said "I can see you're nuts"
Just remember; it takes balls to be a tranny.

Q: What does a transvestite do at Christmas?
A: Eat, drink and be Mary.
"Mom, can I ask you something?"
"Sure! What about?" replied mother.
"Well, I'm already fourteen and.. I think it's just proper that I should own one."
"Own 'one' what?" mother asked suspiciously.
"Could you buy me a push up bra?"
"No."
"But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."
"Nope."
"I think it would be just proper at my age..."
"I said no way...!"
"But all of my friends wear.......!"
Morris! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?"

Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.
Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.
Those who don't have it think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.
Many of those who don't have it would like to try it (e-mail envy).
It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.
If you don't apply the appropriate measures, it can spread viruses.
If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.

WHEN constable Tyrone Stacey heard that a man in custody, Garrick Jacobson, was romantically involved with a woman known by police to be transgender, he assumed Jacobson was aware his girlfriend used to be male, a court heard yesterday.
"Oh, you mean the tranny?" Stacey asked after Jacobson said his girlfriend's name was Brigitte Fell.
But Jacobson was confused.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
This was the crucial moment on September 24, 2006, when Stacey realised he had made "a genuine and honest mistake" in divulging personal information about Ms Fell to her lover of three weeks, barrister Joe Klarica told Downing Centre Local Court.
To ensure they were talking about the same person, Stacey then accessed the police database, printed out a mug shot of Ms Fell and showed it to Jacobson "in the hope that it was a different person".
But Crown Prosecutor Sheridan Goodwin argued that Stacey and his colleague Brendan Ritson used the information to "humiliate and embarrass" Jacobson, who had been detained after stealing a case of beer.
She said Ritson taunted Jacobson, telling him: "You're r. . .ing a bloke . . . see it's a man." The court heard just hours after he was released on bail, Jacobson broke into Fell's home and assaulted her after yelling: "You didn't tell me you were actually a man . . . I'm going to smash you."
Magistrate Glen Bartley yesterday found there was enough evidence to prove the two police officers had breached privacy laws by telling Jacobson that Fell used to be a man.
He reserved judgment on whether they should be convicted.
Stacey and Ritson have pleaded not guilty to unlawful disclosure of information under the Privacy and Personal Information Protection Act.
In her closing submissions, Ms Goodwin yesterday urged Mr Bartley to convict the officers. "Any attempt to use information to humiliate and degrade someone could not fall within the scope of their duties," she said.
"There was no legitimate reason to tell Jacobson that Ms Fell was, or had once been, a male. The only reason was to degrade him."
But Mr Klarica said the two "hard working" officers were innocent because they had made an honest mistake in assuming Jacobson knew about Ms Fell's past.
Magistrate Bartley has reserved his decision until early next year.

So respones that are considered negative to the general thread, should be deleted, hidden censored,
I don't think anyone said that. But responces that use negative remarks against a person should be delt with.
This comes at a time when I'm told I have cancer. TW is my only real outlet. But since every thread seems to be so negative anymore I don't realy like coming here anymore.
I think I need some time away from all this down crap.

I think that at the first sign of a personal attach that post should be taken out. People can argue a point without getting personal. Those that can't are small minded.
Most of these happen in the general forum where most new threads are posted. With only 2 moderators it is hard to keep up. I also think that for a time we need to be a little heavy handed in what is allowed to be said against another person.

One I haven't seen in years was called
"What's So Bad About Feeling Good"
I think it starred Mary Tyley Moore. I dumb movie realy about a bird that carried a virus that made people infected feel happy. Of course the government couldn't have that so they had to stop it.

Today's Economy
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg

Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
4) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Great Truths That Adults Have Learned:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
Great Truths About Growing Old:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) No one other than your contemporaries care how it used to be.
3) Time may be a great healer, ! But it's a lousy beautician.
4) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

I watched a very intresting show on MSNBC. 2 post-op M/F TS's that changed from living thier lives as females back to males.
The first one thought that becoming a woman would give him that story book life that he fanasized about. A husband, family, nice home. But after 2 failed marriages & a string of short relationships found that life as a woman was still the same. Than decided that he was happier as a man & went through changing back. Life is still not easy but thinks he made the right choice. Though he can't reverse the sexual organs.
The second was serching for piece of mind when she started going to a church. The church told her that what she did was wrong & went through great steps to get her to revert back to being a man. The church brought in a surgeon that would remove her breast implants the next morning if she wanted it done. She had it done & now went through all the steps to become a man again. Her shrink is livid. Because although she was pretty comfortable with herself as a woman she feels out of place again as a man & wishes she never would have tried to change back. She has twice attempted to take her life.
So what I see is that the first one was living a fantasy & never should never have had it done in the first place.
The second was a real TS that caved under outside pressure to be what they thought she shoud be.
So I wonder where I fit in. Is my being a TS a fantasy or a fact?

Sarah told me once she could move a thread but not a post.
This gang of 5 is that anything like the Da Vinci Code?
A secret society that runs TW with out anyone knowing.
If we start searching will we be able to find clues scattered around the site?

Airline Announcements?
United Flight Attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
*************************************
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. "
*************************************
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
**********************************! ***
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.
She ! said, " S ir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
***************************************
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella, WHOA!"
*******************************************
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that."
*************************************
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
*************************************
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo . Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
***********************************
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
***********************************
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for that gentleman over there."
******************************************
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City . The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
****************************************
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
****************************************
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
****************************************
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - "Ladies and gentlemen, if you ! wish to smoke, t he smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
****************************************
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles . The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth an! d uneve n tful flig ht. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

Sexual IQ Test
A condom is a large apartment complex. True or False?
Spread Eagle is an extinct bird. True or False?
Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack. True or False?
A menstrual cycle has three wheels. True or False?
A G-string is part of a fiddle. True or False?
Anus is a Latin term for yearly. True or False?
Testicles are found on an Octopus. True or False?
Asphalt describes rectal problems. True or False?
Masturbate is used to catch large fish. True or False?
Fetus is a character on Gun smoke. True or False?
An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. True or False?
A pubic hair is a wild rabbit. True or False?
An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir. True or False?
A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry. True or False?
An erection is when Japanese people vote. True or False?
Pornography is the business of making records. True or False?
Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin. True or False?

Often the U.S. health system is attacked because of the number of people without insurance. The facts are the poor receive medicaid which provides basic care and all hospitals are required to provide emergency service regardless of someones ability to pay. Many of the uninsured are younger individuals that choose to buy new cars, flat screen TV's and anything else other than health insurance. So again, why should I compensate for their irresponsible behavior?
That is a very uninformed statement. In areas where you find the poor doctors don't open offices. There might be a clinic where it takes allday to see a doctor & is so underfunded that most test can't be done there. If they choose to go to a hospital E.R. first they have to find a way there & can be so over crowded that it takes hours.
Also have you priced insurance. To get evan a halfway decent policy can be hundreds of dollors a month for a small family.

Like the others I can't think of anything to add.
I found TW while searching google for TG info. Here were people talking about being TG. I didn't want to talk about sex & the people here didn't. They talked about everything else.
I found more here than I ever realy hoped for.
Katie put your money in your pocket for a rainy day or treat yourself to something nice.

S.H.I.T.
In the 16th century, most everything was transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizer, so largeshipments of manure were common.
It was shipped dry, because it weighedless but once water hit it, fermentation began which produced methane gasas a by-product.
The manure was stored in bundles below deck and once wet with sea water, methane began to build up.
The first time someone came below at night with a lantern.... BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what had happened. Afterwards, the bundles of manure were stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" which directed the crew to stow it in the upper decks so that any water that came into the hold would not reach this volatile cargo and produce the explosive gas.
Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " (Ship High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is still in use today. You probably did not know the true history of this word.
Neither did I. I always thought it was a golf term

FIRST, A HISTORY TEST.
In 1923, Who Was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?
These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days.
Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us if we know what ultimately became of them. The Answers:
1. The president of the largest steel company. Charles Schwab , died a pauper.
2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson , went insane.
3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney ,
was released from prison to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger ,
died abroad, penniless.
5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore ,
also committed suicide.
However:
in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament,
the US Open,was Gene Sarazen.
What became of him?
He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death.
The Moral:
Screw work.
Play golf.

Born & raised in Michigan.
If it goes up to 90 I feel like i'm melting.
I prefer it to be in the 60's & 70's.
I'm a winter person. I can allways add a coat or shirt.
But when it gets hot, it doesn't matter how much you take off, hot is hot.

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
And then there was the Irish baker how sued the local baker for forging his signature on a hot cross bun.
“Sean”, said Mick, “did you know we only use one third of our brains?” “No,” said Sean. “What happens to the other third?”
“Paddy, Oi missed the soccer. What was the score?” “Shure ‘twas a great game they played Mick,” said Paddy. “The score was nil all.” “And what was it at half time?” “Oi don’t know Mick. Oi was only there for the second half.”
Flanigan: ‘My mother-in-law has just eloped with my best friend.’
Lanigan: ;What was his name?’
Flanigan: ;I don’t know. I’ve never met the fellow.’
Paddy: “Did yez mark the place where the fishing was good?”
Mick: “Yes, Oi put an ‘x’ on the side of the boat.”
Paddy: “Shure! What if we should take the wrong boat next time?”
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Irish Joke...". The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Irish, both bouncers are Irish and so are most of my customers"
"Okay" says the customer,"I'll tell it very slowly."

I work in a place that has my shirt soaking wet 30min after I get there. Lots of water in small sips. I can take the heat but I don't like sweat running down in my eyes.
After I get home it's a shower & light loose clothing.

Went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to St yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it again the next day, both of your as cheeks WILL fall off.
Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after
two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No
'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanero peppers swimming their
way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create
the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as
thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of
just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery
store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.
Upon entering the store, at first all seemed normal. I selected a
cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It
wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms
that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what
I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that
always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this
pain was different.
The habaneros in the chili from the night before were staging a
revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through
the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestine,
and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms,
which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a
warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly
enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been
recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might
escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower
part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just
as an elderly woman turned into the isle.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her
reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to
dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever
been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and
I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.
I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched
as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of
odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses
and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about
her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course,
made me feel terrible, but then it made me laugh. Mistake.
Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things
'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an
explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and
echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked,
fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced
off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the
whole way, praying that I'd make it before the 'grand mal' assplosion
took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john,
began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat
because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while
I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He
made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then
quickly left.
Once finished, I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled
cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store
employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for
a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the
store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute
or two which ought to take care of the problem.'
That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to
escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to
cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted,
'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I
was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too
kindly not to return.
Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was
nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The
next day I went to shop at Safeway. I can't say anymore about that
because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going
to have to repaint the store...

Since the last post complaining about pics I've been checking newest members everyday. Most don't post a pic at all & in the last month there have only been 2 that I wrote to Katie about.
We do get a lot of TA's but never hear from them more than once. Once they find out we're not a sex site they don't come back anyway.

AN elderly Indonesian woman famed nationwide for supernatural skills in lengthening penises has died.
Reclusive Mak Erot, famed for penis extension treatment incorporating traditional herbs and Islamic prayer, died last week in Caringin village on the western coast of Java island, the Kompas newspaper website reported today.
Mak Erot - who reports aged anywhere from 101 to over 130 - prompted legions of imitations of her famous clinics, many using her famously craggy and birthmarked face to lure in anxious men.
While her legacy has been closely guarded by male descendents intent on maintaining the purity of the treatment, Mak Erot has become a pop-culture icon in everything from advertisements to teenage romantic comedy films.
Reports of he death prompted a flurry of bemused online comments from internet users in the world's largest Muslim-majority country.
User "Jengkol" wrote on news website Detikcom: "Oh no, I didn't have the chance to go to Mak Erot and now she's dead. I'll just have to buy a vacuum. Maybe that could be the solution to my problem."

A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger on top of his wife.
He says, "What the hell are you two doing?"
His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Uh Oh!" said Pauly reading a letter.
Maury, standing near him, said, "Bad news?"
"Disturbing news, anyway," said Pauly. "It's from someone who says if I don't stay away from his wife, he'll kill me."
"In that case, if I were you, I would stay away from his wife," commented Maury, reasonably.
"Gladly, but who? The letter is anonymous!"
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I just read an article about the dangers of heavy drinking... Scared the daylights out of me.
So that's it!
After today, no more reading.

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a
farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey
the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but
I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied,
'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said,
'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said,
'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked,
'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said,
'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said,
You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said,
'Sure I can Watch me.. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with
Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'
Chuck said,
'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit
of $898.00.'
The farmer said,
'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said,
'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck now works for the government.

Most American car horns honk in the key of F.
The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected after the original 7-ounce containers and 'UP' for the direction of the bubbles.
101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don't die throughout the movie. .
To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs - it will let you go instantly.
Reindeer like to eat bananas.
The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during
World War II Killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
More people are killed annually by donkeys than airplane crashes.
A 'jiffy' is a unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
When you sneeze, air and particles travel through the nostrils at speeds over100 mph. During this time, all bodily functions stop, including your heart, contributing to the impossibility of keeping one's eyes open during a sneeze.
Annual growth of WWW traffic is 314,000%
In 1778, fashionable women of Paris never went out in blustery weather without a lightning rod attached to their hats.
A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it.
The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. More than 2 billion pencils are manufactured each year in the United
States. If these were laid end to end they would circle the world nine times.
The pop you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually a bubble of gas burning.
A literal translation of a standard traffic sign in China: "Give large space to the festive dog that makes sport in the roadway."
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
Larry Lewis ran the 100-yard dash in 17.8 seconds in 1969, thereby setting a new world's record for runners in the 100-years-or-older class. He was 101.
In a lifetime the average human produces enough quarts of spit to fill 2 swimming pools.
It's against the law to doze off under a hair dryer in Florida/against the law to slap an old friend on the back in Georgia/against the law to play hopscotch on a Sunday in Missouri.
Barbie's measurements, if she were life-size, would be 39-29-33.
The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30ft.

Imagine falling asleep, having sex, and not remembering a thing. You have no clue that you have sexually expressed yourself. You can’t recall any pleasurable effects. You don’t know that you suffer from this sleep oddity until a partner says something — until you’re awakened with a good slap. Or, in the worst-case scenario, somebody presses charges against you.
Misunderstood and under-recognized, it is only recently that sleep disorders involving sex have received proper attention. These conditions cause the sleeper — and any partner — distress, and they can have legal ramifications. Forensic consequences are common.
There are at least 11 different sex-related sleep disorders that are classified as “sexsomnia,” “sleep sex,” or “atypical sexual behavior during sleep.” People with sexsomnia unknowingly engage in a variety of sexual activities while they sleep. Reported behaviors include fondling, masturbation, initiating sex with a partner, sexual vocalizations, sexual assault and/or rape (including of one’s spouse), sleep exacerbation of persistent sexual arousal syndrome, ictal sexual hyperarousal and ictal orgasm. (“Ictal” is a physiological state like that of a seizure or stroke.)
In a review of studies regarding behavioral sleep disorders that were published between 1950 and 2006, psychiatrist Carl Schenck and colleagues found that having another sleep disorder, like sleep terrors or sleepwalking, puts one at increased risk for sleep sex. Those with a history of sleep apnea, bedwetting and seizure disorders appear to be at greater risk for experiencing sexsomnia. Documented sleep sex clinical cases include:
— A 34-year-old man who masturbated every night, after sleeping for two to three hours, despite having sex nightly with his wife before bedtime;
— A 26-year-old woman who would talk erotically to her husband between the hours of 2 and 5 a.m. When he would respond positively, she would awaken and accuse him of forcing sex on her while she slept;
— A husband who would grab his wife’s butt and grind up against her from behind while sleeping.
Whether married, coupled or single, any case of sexsomnia involves the “no consent” issue of sex. Sleep invites the opportunity for the emergence of a person’s basic instincts — and ones that are released inappropriately at that. The court system, couples, and victims alike are all grappling with the issues of accountability and consequences for one’s actions while asleep.
In February, the Ontario Court of Appeal upheld an acquittal on sexual assault charges brought against a 35-year-old Toronto landscaper who tried to have sex with a woman at a party. Both had fallen asleep before the man attempted intercourse while in a state of sexsomnia (he had been drinking heavily that evening).
While the Supreme Court of Canada had previously dealt with sleep-walking defenses, this was the first time the high court handled a sexsomnia defense. The court upheld the man's acquittal on the basis of “non-insane automatism.” Since his actions were without conscious control, like the beating of his heart, the court ruled that there was a lack of criminal intent, and therefore he couldn't be proven guilty of sexual assault.
What makes sleep sex disorders even more perplexing and difficult to sort through is that they do not indicate psychological problems. The people who suffer from these disorders are otherwise psychologically healthy. However, if left untreated, these conditions increase an individual’s risk of developing a psychological problem, like depression.
Sexsomnia itself can also take quite a toll on the sufferer, his or her partner and relationship(s). Partners may experience lesions and lacerations from more aggressive or forced sex. The sexsomniac may awaken with a bruised penis or fractured fingers. Both parties report feelings of bewilderment, embarrassment, shame, guilt, despair, shock, denial, annoyance, confusion, worry and fear.
Other problems include feelings of:
— A lack of emotional intimacy;
— A sense of repulsion and sexual abandonment;
— Self-incrimination in sexually expressing one’s self.
Some partners of sexsomniacs do, however, report having more satisfying sex during these nightly romps, whether this involves a lover being:
— More aggressive and dominant;
— Kinkier;
— More amorous;
— Gentler;
— More into satisfying his or her partner.
Regardless, it is important for people with sexsomnia and their lovers to recognize sleep sex triggers. These tend to be physical contact with another person in bed, sleep deprivation, stress, and alcohol. As researchers learn more about these disorders, they are also finding that they can be treated with medication.

RICHMOND, Va. — The couple walked into a Norfolk courthouse on a spring day, exchanged a few words, and within 10 minutes, were seemingly husband and wife.
It was an unremarkable ceremony — except that several weeks later, officials realized the shapely bride might not have been a woman.
Now authorities in Virginia, where same-sex marriages are illegal, are weighing whether to file misdemeanor charges against the couple, Antonio E. Blount, 31, and Justin L. McCain, 18. An announcement is expected this week.
A prosecutor says the decision to press charges could turn on whether the pair knowingly misled officials when they applied for a license and later, traveled to a courthouse for a ceremony. If the bride was transgender, and identified as a woman, it is unclear whether the marriage would be considered illegal.
The pair went to Newport News Circuit Court on March 24 to obtain a marriage license — McCain appearing as a woman and saying the name "Justine" before a deputy, said Newport News Circuit Court clerk Rex Davis.
McCain produced a Virginia driver's license, but a design quirk — the 'm' or 'f' for male or female appears directly against a darkened state seal — meant nobody noticed McCain's gender, Davis said.
"When things are rolling along and you don't have any reason to suspect that somebody is not being completely forthright with you, you might not take the time to check," said Davis, who issues about 2,200 licenses a year.
The same day, the couple traveled 19 miles south to Norfolk, where local marriage commissioner Al Coward performed the ceremony.
"They pawned themselves off as a man and a woman, and they did a very good job," he said.
Davis said officials became suspicious around May 12, when McCain returned to court to apply for a name change. The new name, Penelopsky Aaryonna Goldberry, "raised a red flag," said Davis.
Paperwork later revealed McCain's legal name of record was Justin, not Justine. Davis said vital statistics officials in McCain's home state of North Carolina later confirmed McCain was born male, though they would not provide actual records.
When McCain called to check on the name change application last month, Davis said the teen confirmed the birth gender.
The couple has not commented publicly since the ceremony, and The Associated Press was not able to locate either person. Davis said it is considered illegal because both individuals are legally considered to be men.
A man who answered a door at a Norfolk address linked to McCain late last month identified himself as McCain's grandfather. But he said the teen had moved and wasn't in touch with the family. Calls to a phone number listed for the teen went unanswered.
Activists say the case highlights the difficulty in trying to fit transgender individuals into rigid legal definitions of what makes one male or female. Less than one percent of Americans is transgender, a fluid term that can apply as much to a person who has had gender reassignment surgery as to those who take hormones or wear clothing to resemble another sex.
Most state courts have been silent on the issue of whether marriages involving a transgender person are valid, transgender rights advocates say. Most case law involving transgender rights, meanwhile, surrounds discrimination, not marriage.
Transgender people are increasingly recognized by courts as matching their "gender identity," or internal sense of gender, said Cole Thaler, an attorney with gay rights legal group Lambda Legal, a gay and transgender civil rights group.
That means "it's not deceptive for a transgender person who lives their life as a gender different from the gender they were assigned," said Thaler.
Complicating the issue is a confusing system for how a transgender individual changes gender on legal documents. All but Tennessee, Ohio and Idaho typically change one's gender on their birth certificate following gender reassignment surgery, according to the National Center for Transgender Equality. But local, state and federal agencies have their own standards for defining male or female, according to Paisley Currah, founder of the Transgender Law and Policy Institute. The result: One person's sex may vary from birth certificate, to passport, to doctor's office.
"You could have a driver's license in New York state that says you're a male and have a birth certificate from New York City that says you're female — there's no simple answer to the question of someone's legal gender," Currah said.
How a court might view the case isn't clear. In 1999, a Texas court threw out a wrongful death lawsuit a transgender woman filed after the death of her husband, ruling that while the plaintiff had undergone a sex-change operation, she was actually a man and her marriage invalid. But in 2004, a Kansas court ruled in favor of a male-to-female transsexual who identified as a woman to apply for marriage.
Newport News investigators will decide whether there was false information on the marriage license application, said Newport News Commonwealth's Attorney Howard Gwynn. Though Davis said applicants must swear to the truth of the information on their marriage license, the application mentioned "groom" and "bride," not male and female.
That has been changed to say "male applicant," and "female applicant," Davis said.

FLINT, Michigan -- The city's new police chief is saying no to crack.Flint Journal Poll:
Flint's new police chief is going to have officers arrest people wearing saggy pants that expose their butt cracks, your thoughts? Great idea, I hate those droopy drawers Stupid idea, don't they have more serious crimes to pursue? Created on Jun 27, 2008
View Results
Acting Flint Police Chief David R. Dicks announced Thursday that officers will begin arresting people wearing pants or shorts that sag too low exposing rear ends.
"This immoral self expression goes beyond free speech," said Dicks in a statement released Thursday. "It rises to the crime of indecent exposure/disorderly persons."
It's a style that irks many -- a few cities nationwide have banned the rear-revealing pants -- but the order also raises serious questions about how it would be enforced, if it disproportionately targets young black men and if ultra-low riders should be considered Constitutionally protected.
So, is Dicks going too far?
Greg Gibbs, an ACLU attorney in Flint, said how people wear their clothing is a form of expression but cautions that not all of those forms are protected by the Constitution.
"The issue is: Does it violate the First Amendment?" said Gibbs, adding he plans to research the issue further.
Some Flint residents are all for busting those who go bottoms out.
"It's overdue," said Sam Berry, 73, of Flint.
Gwendolyn R. Allen, 72, of Flint agreed.
"It's so disgusting ... It's disgraceful."
Claude Carter, 49, of Flint sees the issue differently though. He said wearing pants in that manner is a fad -- not a crime.
"I see young and old wearing their pants that way," said Carter. "It doesn't annoy me."
The crackdown on buttocks is an apparent response to "significant" complaints from citizens, according to Dicks.
Under the chief's orders, any sworn officer who sees "sagging/exposing buttocks" will have probable cause to make an arrest under the city's disorderly person ordinance -- a misdemeanor punishable by a $500 fine and three months in jail.
Flint NAACP President Frances Gilcreast is no fan of the style but worries about police focusing on a fashion favored by young black men.
"I'm not interested in looking at anyone's underwear," said Gilcreast. "My concern is how (the policy) will be applied equitably."
Some Flint police officers, however, aren't too sure how they will enforce it.
"What about plumber's crack?" said Keith Speer, president of the Flint Police Officers Association.
In the past, Speer said officers would issue warnings if too much skin was showing but reserved the handcuffs for full moons.
"Most of the time, if they're wearing sagging pants they're also wearing boxers," said Speer.
Memo notwithstanding, Speer doesn't expect any big changes in how officers handle the issue.
"It's like issuing a memo telling officers to enforce the law," said Speer. "Are we going to get a memo every time somebody complains?"

STEPPING in dog poo might be a thing of the past thanks to a new policy being introduced in one UK park.
Mansfield District Council has decided to spray the excrement with bright pink die in an attempt to cure the problem of messy pavements.
The idea is to shame owners who fail to clean up after their pets and also help walkers avoid stepping in the waste.
The project at Oak Tree Heath nature reserve in Nottinghamshire is being launched as part of National Poop Scoop week.
LAKEHURST, N.J. — Police have heard many excuses from suspected drunk drivers over the years.
But police say what they heard from a Toms River man is one for the books: He told them he was driving around until he was sober enough to go home, fearing his mother would know he was drunk.
But before he could make it home Monday, police say 36-year-old Edward Defreitas crashed into an ambulance, causing it to overturn in the Route 70 circle in Lakehurst.
Defreitas is being held in the Ocean County Jail on numerous charges, including aggravated assault, drunk driving and drug offenses.

I thought that one would be a little tuff.
Lucy, I hope someone else is evan reading these.
OK here's the next one.
"I'm as small as an ant, as big as a whale. I'll approach like a breeeze, but can come like a gale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I can't hear. Of names I have many, of names I have one. I'm as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?"

Good Lucy.
Ok this one is a little bit harder.
Riddle
This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."
And
the best one of all..
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?"

I went in to have a CAT scan done yesterday.
You lie on your back & go through the scanner. The tech put a sheet over me & told me to pull my pants down to my knees. I have to go every three months & never had to pull my pants down before. So normal mode of dress for me is nylon panties. But since I was coverd with a sheet I felt it would be OK. When she told me not to move & was sliding the table back & forth somehow the sheet fell off. I had my arms up over my head so couldn't do anything to catch it.
All I could do for the next ten minuts while she took pitchures was lay there in my panties feeling very exposed.
Embarrassment came when I saw how she was looking at me when she was done, A very wierd grin on her face.

Hi Sheila
Look in the forums Hormone City. You can get a lot of info from there.
You'll also read that to take these with out getting blood work done to keep an eye on your liver & other effects can have very bad & lasting results. Many girls do self medicate.
But you can still get regular blood work done.

WE had a realy bad day at work. Electronic failures, just dumb things mostly. But the last was realy wierd. Our robots use windows NT & in for no reason it went out while running. We had to replace the CPU board at a cost of about $1000.

Ok lets not rush.
First to limit the chat room to full members would allmost empty it. Most members are basic. Very few pay realy.
Second if I'd had to pay a fee to become a basic member I'd have left without ever finding out what a great place this is. I shopped before I bought.
Third I think theme nights are a great idea. That might evan get me in there.
We are a TG site. We'll never keep sex minded people from coming here. All we can realy do is to keep sweeping out the dirt. The more of us that do this the better our site will be.

I realy like your jokes. How about sisters.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."
"She'll read it very slow."

It realy is beautifull. It has a marble like swirling color & with some clear polish it shines realy nice.
It's realy easy to do. I did mine changing weld tips while some idiot pushed the weld botton with out looking.
I only did one & I think thats good enough for me.
But if you want to get your nails to look like this, I'd first get realy drunk, find a heavy hammer, than give it a go.
When the throbbing stops coat with clear polish.
Your friends will be speachless.

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?'
Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.'
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'
Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different?
It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!'
Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'
'Nope', she replied.
'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!'
Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.
Shoulda bought a hat.'

I know the program picks at random to be fair.
No one can think Katie doesn't like her pic.
But Marsha's got a point. I.d rather not have a tranny of the day than to have that kind of thing on the front page.
If someone wants to, let them buy a membership & put those pics in the photo gallery.

> Why did the chicken cross the road ?
>
>
> BARACK OBAMA:
> The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! This
> chicken, like so many chickens in America want CHANGE!
>
> JOHN MC CAIN:
> My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
> need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the other
> chickens on the other side of the road.
>
> HILLARY CLINTON:
> When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
> cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
> -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
> chance it deserves, to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
> about me.......
>
> DR. PHIL:
> The problem we have here, is that this chicken won't realize that he must
> first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
> after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
> help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
> problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
>
> OPRAH:
> Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
> wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
> from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
> give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
> not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH:
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
> know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
> either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
> COLIN POWELL:
> Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
> of the chicken crossing the road...
>
> ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
> We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
> allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>
> JOHN KERRY:
> Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
> It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
> intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
>
> NANCY GRACE:
> That chicken crossed the road because she's GUILTY! You can see it in her
> eyes and the way she walks.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN:
> To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American Chickens.
>
> MARTHA STEWART:
> No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
> standing order at the Farmer's Market, to sell my eggs when the price
> dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insiderinformation.
>
> DR SEUSS:
> Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
> chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
> To die in the rain. Alone.
>
> GRANDPA:
> In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
> us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
>
> BARBARA WALTERS:
> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
> chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
> experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
> life long dream of crossing the road.
>
> ARISTOTLE:
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> JOHN LENNON:
> Imagine all the chickens, in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
>
> BILL GATES:
> I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
> will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
> book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
> platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@$^*~(C% .........
> reboot.
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN:
> Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
> chicken?
>
> BILL CLINTON:
> I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT CHICKEN, as it crossed the road.
> What is your definition of chicken?
>
> AL GORE:
> I invented the chicken!
>
> COLONEL SANDERS:
> Did I miss one?
>
> DICK CHENEY:
> Where's my gun?
>
> AL SHARPTON:
> Why are all the chickens white? Why aren't they Black?
> We need more black chickens.
>
>

Yes, Mere needs to protect her laptop. From herself mostly.
We need a list of does & don'ts she can use.
So please be kind & add to this. For her sake.
First off I'd have to say use a table or drink better wine.

Nikki
It's, wine +psycho ninja+computer=$$
She was trying to clean her laptop with alcohol cause it dries fast without residue. Since wine has alcohol in it, it would work.
It was that or she spilled it.
Josi did you give Mere a blond wig?

Wendy
2 points here.
1 She violated the aggreement when she registered.
So be sure to read before checking the box.
Myspace serves many teens if they go after predators using any wepon they can I can live with that.
2 She was in her 40's & going after a 13yr old girl by pretending to be a 16yr old boy.
A person like that belongs in jail.

Drew, of O'Fallon, Mo., was indicted Thursday on charges of perpetrating a hoax on the popular online hangout MySpace. Prosecutors say Drew helped create a fake MySpace account to convince Megan Meier she was chatting with a nonexistent 16-year-old boy named Josh Evans. Megan hanged herself at home in October 2006, allegedly after receiving a dozen or more cruel messages, including one stating the world would be better off without her.
Drew, who has denied creating the account or sending messages to Megan, was indicted by a federal grand jury in Los Angeles on one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization to get information used to inflict emotional distress on the girl.

Underwear Dust
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it
would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a
comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud
appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder
in my underwear?'
She replied ...'It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'

This is pretty good!!!!!!!
IT ONLY TAKES A SECOND OR TWO AND IT'S NOT IN ENGLISH...BUT IT IS PRETTY DAMN COOOOL.
(YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT IN YOUR EMAIL...JUST FIRST NAME ON TOP LINE AND LAST NAME ON SECOND LINE!)
1. GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITE:
Vizualizar
2. TYPE YOUR FIRST NAME ON THE 1st LINE
3. TYPE YOUR LAST NAME ON THE 2nd LINE
(Skip your e-mail address.)
4. Click on 'Vizualizar' on bottom left of screen and watch what happens ... and don't ask me how they do that!

Good Morning Alina
Glad to see you in such good spirits.
We've had 2 realy nice sunny warm days here but rain today.
It's 4:30 & I have about 10min before I have to get dressed for work. So it's 1 coffee, A quick peek in, & I'm off to play.

Why Men Have Better Friends:
Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship Between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

HEADLINES......
FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , formerly known as California White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Blonde Kidnapping Plot
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him: "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

Just Mathematics
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:
"Dear Wife: You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
-Your Husband"
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband: You, too, are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18- year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

Secret Code
A husband and wife decided they needed to use "a code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word "typewriter." One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter." The child told her mom what her dad said and her mother responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now because there's a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy had said. A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now." The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."

Much has been said in the last few days about what the public thinks of us in general.
With the thread Turf Wars we know that's not how we want to be seen.
But take a look at todays Tweb girl of the day.
What kind of site would you think this is?
Tweb Girl of the Day/04/27/2008

A man and woman had been married for more than 65 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but oneday the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
"Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"
"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

Two gas company servicemen, a training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a footrace down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from the last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. Naturally, they stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I just knew I'd better run too!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After many years, Cinderella finally reached the ripe age of 95 years old.
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she now happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.
Cinderella says, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?
The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. I'm prepared to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken back, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:
"The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother"
"It is the least that I can do," replies her Fairy Godmother. "What do you want for your second wish?"
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
"Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life!" And with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the Fairy Godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...
"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."

I googled as soon as there was a name to.
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Hi ladies we've started a new forum "Trannyfun"!!
A place where we can post jokes, videos, games & anything else you might post for the fun of it.
When Sarah asked if I'd like to host it I jumped on it as I like posting things to try & get a smile.
Katie & Sarah would like a new thread started for each new item.
Please nothing XXX. I have a number of video shorts I can't post evan though thier more fun than sex this is in the public section.
So lets get started!!!!!

The brunette looks nicer but it's also a better pic. So I copied it into my photostudio changed the hair color to blond. But it came out like crap so that was no help.
Since I've allways liked darker hair I'll go with the brunette.

Carren posted a video & it got me thinking. (it only hurt a little)
Any way I've got a bunch of them I saved from emails. So I'm going to start posting them.
Please add some of your own & lets get going.
This first one is The Budwieser Wave

You could run it like a franchise to start. Taking a percentage of sales. That way new stalls aren't paying out more in rent than they take in while getting started. The stores I had started at 5% untill you hit a a sale amount. Than 10% on up to 15%. Sounds like a lot but you got advertising & help if needed.
But this kind of sounds like Trannybay again.

Hi A.J.S.
Get yourself into the chat room. You'll meet a lot of other members there & I'm sure you'll make friends soon.
I hope you'll like it here, genders may be different, but ideas, thoughts, & feelings are very much the same.

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent , please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional , press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up. it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are
too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the
fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
(Well, my job is done . Your turn)

One way to get it out is to know what your going to say. Sit down with pen & paper. Write it out> you can take your time this way so that when the time comes you'll know what to say. Also be ready to answer questions about yourself. Have info ready about transexualism.
Just being prepared will help give you convidence.

Something that may matter is that I was told women store fat ontop of musle. While men store it under muscle. This makes lipo risker for men & the shape doesn't come out as good.
Again this is something I was told by a doctor when I asked about reshapping after all the surgeries I had.

This might sound dumb. But I'm allways having to pull up the back of my pants or skirt because I don't have the hips of a woman. They are not made to fit a mans body. From my waist down it's a straight shot.
I know I'm not the only one built like this. So other than padding is there something I can try.
A lot of my slacks & skirts don't have belt loops so I need to do something else. But what?

LOL!!!
I tried the lotion on my face once. Like you said it didn't remove any hair & my face was so burned I couldn't shave for at least a week. Evan had to take cooler showers because the hot water burned so bad.
Never thought of ripping it out. Can't see why anyone would realy.
I keep thinking about that one & I keep laughing. That had to hurt. A lot!!!

Yes price is a factor if you want regular shoppers. Also sizing. I have to buy the plus sizes.
Also I think return shoppers will be buying less of the fettish stuff you see on most tranny sites & more everyday style clothes.
Why not set up a survay to get a list of things you might sell.
Wigs (large cap size please)
Shoes & boots
Makeup
Clothes (Plus sizes)
I'm sure there are a lot more to list but that's a start.

I do shop on line & I shop at the same sites normaly. It's a pain having to get my card for evey order.
I don't keep it in my wallet so I have to remember where it is.
Not the best at keeping things organized. So yes if your prices are fair I would use it.
But Katie maybe you should let us know what your planing on having for sale first.

How are you all on this cold wet morning? At least here it is.
I've been having realy wierd dreams lately. In every dream I'm dressed up & with old friends & family.
But it's as though they can't tell or don't care. But I'm worried they'll notice me & so try to stay in the backround.
Lastnight I dreamed I was in the bathroom at my moms & my friends were waiting for me. I stood in front of the mirror trying to scrub off my makeup but it wouldn't come off.
Going to have to tell my shrink about this.lol

Here's a pitcher of some coffee beans. In this pic you'll find a man.
The test is in how long it takes you to find him. Yes he realy is there. It's not a trick.
3 to 30 seconds is strong.
1 min is still good but a tad bit weak.
Between 1 & 3 min shows room for improvement.
Over 3 min & you need to work your mind more to get it to where it should be.

I can answer from 2 sides.
I've only been in 4 real relationships. No I did not cheat. Though I could have. If I love someone why would I want to have sex with someone else.
When not in one I'll have sex with a girl if I like her one night & a different girl next time.
NO I do not mess with married women. Big BIG trouble!!!
If they get into a fight with thier husband they might through your name out there to hurt him.
Where I work somwe guys are very happy with thier wifes & don't evan think of cheating. While others will have sex with anyone willing.

I watch a lot of cop shows. TV's & TS's are the pervert bad guys or were asking to be killed because of thier mode of dress. Allways seems to be one of the two. Never a normal Tranny.
The crimes are allways our fault.
But also more & more the Health & Discovery channels are showing TS's in real life.
The struggles & anguish we deal with everyday.
So some good & some bad.

Just wanted to send you this Warning and to be on the Lookout !
There's absolutely no cause for Alarm.
This is just to prepare you for the Event.
I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.
Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee
cannot take care of this one.
It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1970.
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
6. Causes you to hit 'SEND' before you've finished.
7. Causes you to hit 'DELETE' instead of 'SEND.'
8. Causes you to hit 'SEND' when you should 'DELETE.'
IT IS CALLED THE 'C-NILE VIRUS.'

It's nice to be back. I know I was only gone a week but I still wondered & hoped everyone was allright.
When you can't get here & don't know, it stays on your mind.
The girls here mean so much to me that it realy matters. I haven't been adding a lot lately but I still come everyday just to make sure that no one is in trouble.
This is my anchor to be who I am.
I can't believe how much this site has come to mean to me.
Damm but I'm became such a softy.

It was this little girl's first day of school, and the teacher asked her what her name was.
She replied, "Happy Butt."
The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."
So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?"
And the little girl said, "Happy Butt."
The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all.
After getting off the phone, he looked at the little girl and said, "Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt."
The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference?"

While packing to move I found an old sweater dress in my closit. I haven't been able to wear it for a long time.(it grew smaller) I haven't evan thought of it in a while. It was my favorite dress for a long, long, time.
It's an off white with short sleeves & a farely short length, a few inches above the knee.
It looked good with any color hose. And allways had that perfect fit, not to tight & not to loose. (well before IT grew smaller)
Evan though I'll never wear it again I can't toss it out. Seeing it makes me feel good.
If I can ever find another like it I'll buy 2 of them.

Don't be sorry I know what you ment. Thier just knit-picking.
There are things about me I call manly that don't go away no matter what. As well as femm things I can't hide no matter what I do, they slip out.

I grew up on the southwest side of Detroit. Busses only ran on one road & that was 2 miles from me.
So a car & driving is a big part of life. In Detroit proper busses run on most main roads. But once you cross into the suburbs they are few & far between, & only run to the malls.

I very much believe in God. But I do not believe in religion.
As Wendy says I am not Gods mistake. I never went to church when growing up, so had to make my own choises. The one I finely made was to maintain a personal relationship with God.
I don't need a church to tell me whats right or wrong. The Bible was not written by God, but by man.

Politics are what rule this world. I would hope you take an intrest in your own.
To not cast a ballot is to say "I don't care if the world walks over me." It gives a person zero right to complain later.

PERKS OF BEING 50 AND OVER
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm
9. You can live without s *x but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
16. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

I"d say the worst part was growing up with no understanding. Thinking that there was something wrong with me & being to afraid to seek help.
The closest I ever came to a real relationship was letting a girl know I liked to crossdress but being to afraid to admit I wanted to be a woman.
Of course after finding TW I'm no longer afraid of it. In fact I am now me for the first time in my life.

Well as long as we're talking marriage.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money. Once he is given
the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this
bank?'
The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'
The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing nearby. He asked the man, 'Did you
see me rob this bank?
The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did.'

*****************************************************************************
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for
Blood plasma.
***************************************************************************
No piece of paper can be folded in half
more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait...~
****************************************************************************
Donkeys kill more people annually
than plane crashes or shark attacks. (Watch your Ass!)
************************************************************************
You burn more calories sleeping
than you do watching television.
**************************************************************************
Oak trees do not produce acorns
until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
**************************************************************** * ***********
The first product to have a bar code
was Wrigley's gum.
*************************************************************************
The King of Hearts is the only king
WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
***************************************************************************
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987
by eliminating one (1) olive
fro m each salad served in first-class.
************************************************ **************************
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women,what does this tell you!)
*********************************************************************
Apples, not caffeine,
are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
***********************************************************************
Most dust particles in your house are made from
DEAD SKIN!
****************************************************************************
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung ca ncer.
So did the first " Marlboro Man."
***************************************************************************
Walt Disney was afraid
OF MICE!
**************************************************************************
PEARLS MELT
IN VINEGAR!
*********************************************************************
&nbs p; ;
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
**********************************************************************
It is possible to lead a cow up stairs...
but, not downstairs.
************************************************************************
A duck's quack do esn't echo,
and no one knows why.
************************************************************************
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush
be kept at least six (6) feet away from
a toilet to avoid airborne particles
resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
***************************************************
Richard Millhouse Nixon
was the first U.S. president whose name contains all
the letters from the word "criminal."
(who thinks up this stuff???)
The second?
William Jefferson Clinton
(Please don't tell me you're SURPRISED!!!)
************************* ********************************
And the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(I know some people like that, don't YOU?)
******************************************************************************

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mom & Dad,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas would blow up?
The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and al s o some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.
We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren’t any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster, so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?
I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters & buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
Love, Jimmie

Katie you gave the forums to Sarah for a reason. She can be trusted. Ask her to handle it & be done with it.
You've done what you can now it's the admins turn.
I'm sorry if I spout off but I love this place.

I think it's taken so long to do anything about her that a lot of damage is allready done. I can't beleave she was aloud to go on like that for so long. Everyday it's all about her. I'm not a chat person I loved the forums but right now they suck. It's all about fighting & bickering. I thought of leaving but I'm not going to give her power over me like that.
Sorry, can you tell that she gets under my skin?
I think it should take 2 to hide a thread with Sarah getting final say.
Sarah should be allowed to hide or delete as she sees fit, as these are her forums. She should have total control.
Other than Sarah no one person should be allowed to use thier opinion as to what is allowed.

Having a black man & a woman get this far in the US is a big step. But I don't think one or the other can win. People that vote R will still do so. But a lot people that vote D will vote R because of what they are not because of who they are. I think we're getting close but we're not there yet.

There have been more of this on the science & medical cahnnels. So far I think they have shown real people in real life. Since they don't express an opinion either way about the person but let that person do thier own talking, I think it's a good thing. People get to see TS's as people not as perv's.

As I was reading I was thinking of that pour cow with the bad rep. But I'm sure there's a better comparison. I mean a cow is a dumb animal. You on the otherhand seem to find some very unique ways in which to cause harm to yourself.
It'a a wonder they don't make you wear mittens at all times.
Josi if you plan to see Mere very often protective clothing & safty glasses should be worn at all times.

I also agree there's no point posting in the forums anymore since Katie isn't going to do anything but let A piss off as many as she can. Why can we not hide everything she post.
Do something soon or give me back my membership fee this isn't worth anything.

I have been trying to take better care of my nails. I've stopped the biting & I keep a clear coat on them allways. I'm not trying to let them grow but I would like them to look neat. The trouble is they keep chipping so that I have ruff edges. This means I have to spend a lot of time with a file to keep them smooth. Is there something I can use to help with this?

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.
A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks,
'Who drives you to the beach?'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little old man shuffled slowly into the ' Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Leesburg, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids.'

As Joni says you can get a lot out of this site without having to pay if you can't afford it or if you want to wait & see if you like it here.
Just be open & honest. You will make a lot of friends here. This place can be a lot of fun & you can learn so much.
The people that can & do pay don't do it for the members only areas. We do it because keeping TW open is worth it. If TW helps you at all than my money was well spent.
Welcome to TW girl I hope you stick around.

Where I work at smoking has allways been allowed & I'd say about 70% of us are smokers.
I've been off for 3 weeks & went back yesterday. Smoking is allowed only during break & lunch now. I was not ready for that but it was realy no big deal. We all new that at some point it would happen.
The company has offerd to pay for any method you want to try to quit. Some of these are over a $100 a month. But everyone I know that has quit did it cold turkey.

I don't think I'd get offended unless it was repeated by the same person. I know the chat room can move fast & some may slip before catching it. Having to talk like a man has been put in our heads for a long time. But if a mod did it that person needs to be more carefull.

I've broken 7 & will continue to do so. I don't see how we can change the image of god since any image is only what we want her to look like. I think the first image is a burning bush. Should we worship fire.
I've been on my knees in front of a bush a few times & I worshiped every minute of it.
That was bad.

Most that cause trouble get mad & leave on thier own so don't need to be banned.
But after what B said yesterday I see she was logged in today.
I guess a leak of that thread should have been expected. But I would like to know who.
I also hope nothing from this forum would betalked about outside.

No horror movie has ever scared me other than a sudden shock that makes you jump.
I did see a documentery on the haolocaust once that gave me nightmares for days.
When the exorcist came out I went with a friend. We were told to leave because we kept laughing. (a little pot will do that)
I don't think I have a favorite. But I do watch a lot of them.

This has been going on for days. I think it's time that this person is told to live by the rules or be asked to leave. These are not thought provoking threads. They are mean in spirited to start with & no one but her is right.

I was watching a show on TV lastnight called Criminal Minds. They made a reference saying many serial rapist are crossdressers. On showes such as this no cd, tg, or ts is put in anykind of a good light.
We're either jokes or somekind of sicko killer.
Later on Discovery Science Channel they did a show about ts's. They went through the whole thing talking about HRT, RLE, than SRS. They made us look human, real people with problems that we didn't choose to have.
The trouble is that about 100 times more people saw the first show & not the second.
I'll stop here I'm getting angry thinking about it.
How are we ever going to get anywhere when we're allways in the bad light????

it just wasnt my intention to run somebody off who probably needs TW just as much as i do.
That feeling of guilt that someone might need this place but left because of something I might have said. It is that, that makes you a good person.
In the few short years I've been here I've seen 2 people get run off. 1 never came back. The other keeps coming back. She must need to talk so each time I give her the benefit.
Your a good girl Anyfer just keep being who you are.

I have a similar story, not in chat room but at work.
One day I'm just working when a girl from the front office walks up & with some concern in her voice says, "are you allright". The way she said it had me confused. This was before my medical trouble.
I just looked at her & said yes. Well after 3 or 4 times I was more confused than ever. So I asked her if I looked sick to her. She said no. So I asked why she does that. "I'm just being friendly" she says & walks away. Turns out she had a few others wondering what was wrong with them too. So we started doing it to her & did she ever get mad. Quit shortly after that. We sort of felt bad about that but it was very irritating.

I don't mind her post being so long, but I have to read them 3 or 4 times to understand them.
By the time I get to the end I forgot what she was talking about.
I was in the 5th grade when HH ran for President. Nixon won.

Hi Jennifer
I grew up in the downriver area. Wyandotte is trying to revamp it self to be the next Royal Oak.
Or maybe it wants to be a Mayberry. Whatever it's a small industrial town sitting on the Detroit river.
It also has more small bars than any place I know of. When I was younger we'd work our way through them. Street by street or alphabeticaly. We never got all the way through in one night.
If it were to open it's doors to more ideas it could be a realy great place.

Wyandotte Michigan
An artical in this mornings paper caught my eye. Janet Law is trying to open a club for TG's & TS's.
But the city is blocking it with a parking ordinance. In the past a ptivate club had to have 1 space for every 3 members. Now they have to have a space for every member.
I've been hearing things coming from Wyandotte for about a year or more. But nothing realy solid untill now.
I wish them luck.
I attached the artical from the Free Press below.

When I was young we had a house full. My sisters husband left her with 4 kids. Having no choise she moved back in with us. I was 5. My niece was 4 & had the prettiest clothes I'd ever seen. My sister was 10. She saw me looking at a dress & being mean she dressed me in it.
I didn't start trying on other things untill I was about 8. Then one day I was sick & had to stay home from school. I was alone in the house. I dressed up in my sisters clothes as though I were a girl.
GOD that felt so great!!!!
Never stopped doing it whenever I could.
My sister dressing me at 5 is something I didn't remember. She told me about it during Thanksgiving dinner. So she is taking the credit or blame for me being TS. Which is wrong but I can be mean to sometimes.

Like Nikki says it's different things for different people. That questions as old as love itself.
If anyone had the perfect answer, it would only fit them.
But I will say it's the strongest emotion. A scary one to, people will willingly die for it, or kill.
I don't know what it is but I like it when I feel it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe with a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, I'm yours.'
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing a skimpy running outfit, running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, I'm yours.'
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program
'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.'
'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'
He lost 63 pounds that week

LOL!!
Mine are nice. Thier in a box in my bedroom at the moment. Though I've never let anyone cop a feel.
Anyone looking to get some, ebay has great prices.
With all this talk no one has answerd the first question. I'd like to know too.

I like New Years it gets me out of that Christmas funk. I won't be going out but I will spend a lot of time on the phone. Over time the people that matter have scattered far & wide.
I'll but on some nicer clothes, pop a cork, & relax.

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

This bothers me a lot. I'm in Michigan but my door is open to her. I'd love to help, but I can't from here.
If she wants it I'll send some money. But I know it won't be enough to realy help for more than a few days.
I wish I could do more than just give friendship & love to someone I like, very much.

Morning all!!
Yesterdays snow was nice to watch. But today I have to go out in it. There are some large looking piles of snow out back & one of them is my car, waiting to be dug out.
This short video allways makes me smile.
Have a nice day!!

The cost of complying to these would force a lot of places out of buisness. Putting thousands out of work. Where it has to start is when building new factories or when updating.
Where I work we have to lube the sheet metal to prevent it from splitting in the presses. We use a bio-degradable slick stuff that we mix with water. When we have to outsource parts come back coverd in oil. The oil is a lot cheaper than what we use. We're under pressure from the big 3 to reduce cost yearly by 5%. In order to make a profit you have to cut cost where you can.
So in order to stay in buisness people get fired or you go to a cheaper process.

Good Morning!!
Wow is it realy snowing. Something about the first heavy snow that makes me feel good inside.
I love sitting on the couch with my coffee & watching it come down. It's allmost like a good Christmas morning. Magic in it's way. Everything just feels right. I love it.
At least untill tomorrow when I have to go out in it. lol
have a nice day girls. I'm going to.

The laugh may not have been at me & I'm not positive they were speaking at me. I ignored as best I could. I was so nervous I'm sure it showed.
If I'm going to get on in this life I have to learn to walk with my chin up. But 40 yrs of programing is hard to over come. I've hid my shame & guilt over what I am because I was allways told how wrong this is. It wasn't untill TW that I knew I didn't have to feel that way, that what I felt wasn't wrong.
I think time is the key here.

I guess I'd better since I tossed out all male clothes except work pants & shirts. It's odd that I can go out in slacks & tops everyday & not think a thing about it. But that felt like I was waving it around, drawing attention.
I went back to my fears of being outted.

Maybe it shouldn't be a big deal but I still feel it is. I get scared. Maybe in time I won't.
But I did say the hell with it & went anyway.
Yes I could hear them laugh after I passed by & they were saying something to me as I closed my door but I didn't listen.
I grew up hearing people like me should get the crap kicked out of them.
That is why I never let on as to how I realy felt untill my mid 40's. Fear, plain & simple.