"My basil was looking puny." This was the opening sentence from a beloved leader in our community when I ran into her at the farmers market. We've been acquaintances for years, and it was wonderful to reconnect with her. I was rather puzzled by her comment, but I simply kept quiet and listened.

My colleague was in the midst of some important and high-level negotiations with tremendous economic and political significance for our organization. She facetiously commented that she was working 42 hours a day. Failure was not an option, and she was clearly under enormous personal and professional pressures.

So what did the basil plant have to do with any of this? As an avid cook, my friend prides herself on her gardening and kitchen skills. Because she was too busy to care for her garden, her herbs withered and died. As a result, her recipes were not quite up to par, and she felt very frustrated.

This casual meeting with an old friend at a Saturday morning market reminded me of the importance of taking care of yourself by:

Nurturing what renews your spirit. If you don't cultivate these gifts, they will wither and die.

Not losing sight of your own needs. You cannot give what you do not have. Everyone needs time to regenerate.

Knowing where to draw the line. If you aren't careful, your vocation can devour your life.

I have a friend who's way of living is reflected in her garden and yard. Her yard looks like an elderly, senile, or handicapped person lives there--the shrubs and trees are poorly tended, weeds grow everywhere. In the spring, she'll work feverishly at her vegetable garden in the back yard, devoting lots of time and money to it. Then--she forgets about it. She isn't good at maintenance--she doesn't like to trim and harvest.
The truth is, she doesn't like the vegetables--she grows them to give away. She doesn't read up on the tried and true methods of gardening, she tries anything new and trendy. She's so busy with her volunteer work and her friends and family, she really doesn't have time to devote to the mass of vegetables she plants. She thinks she's doing a great job, but her gardening is sloppy and wasteful. And she doesn't like to eat the vegetables, even though she's on a constant diet. She tells me to pick whatever I want, but then she doesn't want me to pick too much--because she wants to give some away. She grows the garden so people will love and appreciate her more. But when she gets depressed or worn out, she doesn't do the maintenance. She thinks she trims her forsythia bush constantly--but in three years, she's only done it once. She loses track of time, and forgets that the vegetable garden needs constant attention. She has a beautiful lilac bush that she never prunes--and now it's dying. Her life is too crowded--just like her garden. Slow down, enjoy.

susan

September 17, 2010 10:08 a.m.

Wow- I really needed to hear this message this morning -I thank you for this very simple but profound comment on &quot;Tending our Garden&quot;- didnt even notice my basil plant died. I need to rethink priorites for sure.
Thank you

jocelyn

September 9, 2010 1:13 a.m.

It seems as if my garden is a migraine cure. If I feel a migraine coming on I go out to it and before you know it the weed and my headache are gone not to mention I eat a few fresh peas and green beans which I believe are really good for preventing headaches. I also have noticed that each time that I have used my garden as a headache cure, the garden was overgrown as if it was the reason I had the headache. Strange I know but I think my garden is a Migraine Headache Cure and a Detector as well. Thanks and I trust this will help someone, Don

Don

September 8, 2010 3:52 p.m.

I made a note of Raymond's site and will check it out. It's never too late to learn. Sunday is my day of rest when I tend to the &quot;gardening&quot; of my soul.

Roberta

September 8, 2010 7:39 a.m.

I finished my &quot;list&quot; but can't bear to look at it again. I suppose I'll never get to tending my garden until I do dig it up and make a token effort to follow thru. Thanks Rosemary for providing hope, I needed it.

Big Carol

September 7, 2010 4:19 p.m.

My garden has kept me sane over many years, although last year, after an unexpected and unpleasant diagnosis, I hadn't the strength to do much more than sit and look at it. However, it was so peaceful there in the shade, with the sound of water and the wind in the trees, that I felt much better. Thanks to a great oncologist and new medication, I am feeling great this year, so have been going full steam ahead making changes and doing all kinds of work. When I get outside, all my cares drop away and I can lose myself in the garden. I often think of a little verse by Emerson, which starts
&quot;All my hurts, my garden spade can heal&quot;.

rosemary

September 7, 2010 3:32 p.m.

In our household, the garden helps the patient and the caregiver. My family member has numerous disorders and was recently diagnosed with cancer. His garden is his safe place; his plants are his friends; fruits and vegetables are his pride and joy. I on the other hand am a creative cook. I make the most of what he grows, losing myself in the process of preparing, inventing and in his delight in consuming. A garden can be a wonderful place. Its provides physically and emotionally health.

Essie

September 5, 2010 9:44 p.m.

I have produced this educational program on managing stress for my
Masters in Learning Technologies at The National College of Ireland.
It is freely available on the web. I hope it will help some people understand
where stress comes from and how they can manage it.
You can Google: stress prevention elearning.
or go to
www.stress-prevention-clinic.net/elearning

Raymond

September 2, 2010 10:52 p.m.

It is indeed so important to tend to our needs. When we don't nurture ourselves, we, like the basil, wither and don't thrive.

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