Calling B.S. On The DC Madam

LEADING LADY IN WASHINGTON SEX SCANDAL IS PLAYING COY WITH US

FITSNews – May 1, 2007 – Considering our unique nexus of political and pop culture coverage here at FITSNews, we were all set to give alleged “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Palfrey top billing on our blog. After all, if there’s one thing intuitive media types learned during Monicagate, it’s that nothing boosts readership like a good sex scandal. Unfortunately, Palfrey is now testing the limits of our credulity by insisting she didn’t know that her “not-so-nappy headed hoes” were actually – wait for it – having sex. From this morning’s New York Times article:

If any sexual activity occurred, Palfrey said, it was not authorized or intended by her but undertaken independently by her female subcontractors and male clients â€œwho disobeyed my directives, their signed contracts and participated in illegal behavior.â€ In other words, she is stunned at accusations that sexual activity had taken place between the women who worked for her and the men who paid them about $300 for 90 minutes of their attentions.

You know, we too were “stunned” once when we pressed the Diet Dr. Pepper button on a vending machine and ended up getting a regular Dr. Pepper. But that’s only happened like twice in our whole lives. The other 50 million times we got a Diet Dr. Pepper. And you know what else? Every time we’ve popped open a can of Diet Dr. Pepper and taken a sip it’s always tasted like Diet Dr. Pepper (although that whole thing about Diet Dr. Pepper tasting more like regular Dr. Pepper happens to be true). Anyway, the point is Ms. Palfrey claiming to be “stunned” that her hookers were actually having sex just doesn’t pass the Diet Dr. Pepper test. Unless of course the test involves someone throwing a can of Diet Dr. Pepper at your head and knocking you senseless.