Tuesday, September 15, 2009

[v] THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

“Im in love with a person who cannot love me back, thats the biggest problem in the whole wide world” I answered with a smirk to Daniel when he asked why I was so sober.

“Kasi naman you knew from the start that this isn’t meant to be, eh pinilit mo pa rin.” He answered cheerfully.

“Hindi ko pinilit, it just happened. I was there when he needed me, he asked for my help and I gladly gave it to him, I didn’t know I would fall. In fact hes not even my type.” I sounded bitter, especially on the last part of the sentence.

“That’s the point, he asked for your help and you did what you have to do as a friend. But did he asked for your heart too? Bakit mo binigay yun, the fact that he didn’t ask that part, hindi nya yun hiningi, ikaw lang si tanga ang nagbigay ng kusang loob.” Daniel stabbed me directly into my heart and I died inside his restaurant.

He was right. Shawn asked for my help numerous times, but he never asked for that bloody piece of me, never, but i gave it up willingly even if not asked.

“Alam mo I have to go na Daniel, maybe Angelo is waiting na for me. I don’t wanna be late.” I turned my back on Daniel and left his “Cloud” restaurant. Maybe Angelo is the answer to all of this.

"Dyan ka magaling Prince, you keep on escaping the fact that he will never be the one for you..."

---

“San nga ulet tayo magkikita?” I texted Angelo for the third time to confirm the place where we will meet after 5 years of not seeing each other. To rekindle our burned out flame… I don’t know…

“Prnice, See you at Mcdonalds, Quezon City, 8pm.”

The fact that he was a runner up in a university pageant when we were in college and a student leader back then, I cant seem to perceive the stupidity of this text message. To top it all, he doesn’t know the correct spelling of my name.. “Pusang gala naman, oo. There are so many Mcdonalds food chain in Quezon City, how would I know which one is the correct place.” I told myself as the train started its ascend to the north stations. Oblivious of the message I looked at my side to see that eventhough the train was crowded to the extent that people were face to face with each other, I cant help but think how alone I was.

Then out of nothing, I felt that there was something missing. I checked my back pocket – my wallet was there, the two front pockets-keys ok, some candies on the left. I checked my backpack – celphone-ok, Camera-ok, spare clothes – including the Giordano shirt from Daniel, some receipts, passport-ok…. “Everything’s intact, but why do I feel this way, why do I feel that somethings amiss? its odd...” I asked myself as I slowly touched my pursed lips with my right hand, going down to my neck and to my chest. Then I knew from there why I was bothered. “Oh my, this aint my heart anymore…” I whispered softly while I touched my beating heart that seems to be a stranger inside of me. “Of all people why did you chose him…?”

The conversation with my heart was interrupted by my vibrating celphone. It was Angelo’s seemingly correct reply with my previous question. I think he came to his senses already and knew that there was something lacking in his previous message.

“Prnice, Mcdo, Quezon City, near MRT. See you there.”

Two things: still not quite clear and my name was misspelled again. My heart was mellow because of the previous calming presence of Shawn, I felt heavenly- I don’t wanna end the day in a bad way, so I don’t wanna end up arguing with somebody. Nobody will ruin this day.

Somehow I can read between Angelo’s lines now, there was one Mcdonalds in Quezon Avenue, near a Giant TV station where he was currently working.

---

“Quezon Avenue station…” The baritone voice announced the arrival of the train on my station. I prepared myself on the onslaught of anger and false accusations from Angelo.

As I trail down my way to the fast food chain to meet Angelo, I recalled our last conversation on the net which ended in an unpleasant manner- him being angry with me and accused me of things I never imagined doing to a friend. He was angry at me because I failed to meet him numerous times. He almost always bragged about my “so called” promises of giving him a brand new celphone, shoes and some other things that he needed during those trying times, my broken promises, that’s his weapon against me. He even told me that ive let him down so many times and he just cant accept the fact that that’s the way I repaid him, the one and only person who accepted me with all of his heart.

I sent him a message telling that I am already here and waiting. He replied that he will arrive in just a few minutes from his apartment. I entered the fast food chain; I conveniently sat on an empty table near the door, eagerly waiting for him, looking beyond the darkness of the moonless night. From this point forward, my life was a well mix up of muddy hue of my past and the blurred images of the future, how can my present survive this onslaught.

Then out of the darkness of the night, I saw him march his way to me. He came without any trace of angst or any anger in his face. Kingly as a lion in the desert, his decent can be characterized by a knight in a cold December evening, his horse, galloping his way towards the person he was about to save from the impending pandemonium. I pretended I did not see him, to pretend that I am surprised and thrilled to see him again after 5 long years, and indeed I was. When he tapped my back, strong enough to make me wince in pain, I saw him smile a caring and tender smile. He seems different; the demon that I was expecting to combat was not him, instead a kind angelic figure was in front of me. He looked younger than the last time I saw him, hes buffer now and all the excess fats were gone, he’s taller than me, and damn he looks sexy. AS I see him, his qualities were the qualities that Shawn’s lookin for a mate.

“Maybe he knows where I can find letting go and moving on…” I told myself.

“Ano kamusta ka na, long time no see, kala ko nakalimutan mo na ko.” AS he told me while his left arm arched its way to my right shoulders, a gesture that Shawn will never do.

Relieved as I am, he’s not Angelo that ive known in the past. The materialistic and egotistic person was all but gone. “Ok lang ako, its nice to see you again. Kumain ka naba, wag ka mag alala, ako taya ngayon.” I replied with the sweetest smile my face could ever give.

“Gwapo at macho mo na ngayon ah, crush na kita ulet!” I exclaimed to him and I cant help but grin when I saw him smile back.

“Ikaw lang eh, iniwan mo ako. 5 years yun ah.”

It wasn’t love at second sight, but I was extremely happy that I have a friend back in my life. This was the start of the longest and most unforgettable night of my life.

Maybe he is the answer to the BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.