The crisis team came and visited me because someone who knows me well was on and she was worried. She said that if I don't get admitted to hospital tomorrow I should ask the CMHT to phone her boss and ask if I can have face to face support from the crisis team for a while because it's more helpful than phone calls. She said that she knows my support worker and that she's a very cautious person which made me feel worse because of the fact that my support worker says I don't need to be in hospital so that must mean that I'm lying about how much I'm struggling. People think I'm ok because I still make it to some appointments and I pick up my prescription daily. I don't know how safe I'll be if I'm not admitted to hospital but I will end up being fine and then if I need an admission in the future they'll say I was fine this time so will be ok again. I really need safety and support right now not judgement.