So let’s celebrate, and support, with my top ten doughnut loving characters:

Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)

Homer’s quite possibly the biggest doughnut fan ever.

Not only do they frequently elicit moans of enjoyment from him, he even happily sold his soul for a doughnut- and was incapable of stopping himself from finishing the snack, even though it meant eternal torment.

As it turned out the intended torture, being forced to eat an endless supply of doughnuts, was really more of a blessing from the insatiable Homer, which rather flummoxed his attendant demon.

When Marge won the trial that ensued, citing prior possession of Homer’s soul, the devil cursed Homer with a doughnut head, which he then attempted to pick at and eat because he was just too tasty to ignore.

Chief Wiggum (The Simpsons)

Homer isn’t the only doughnut lover in The Simpsons, Springfield’s police Chief- Clancy Wiggum- is also obsessed with them. He’s certainly not the only law enforcement professional with a taste for doughnuts either, apparently for very valid reasons. This affection for the admittedly excellent foodstuff seems to get in the way of his police work, but it’s clearly improved his enjoyment of life. And his singing.

Miranda (Sex and the City)

There certainly seems to be a connection between food and emotional dissatisfaction in Sex and the City, and it’s a recurring theme for Miranda (whether it’s about Chinese take out or chocolatey baked goods). In the season five episode ‘Cover Girl’ it manifested itself in Krispy Kremes. Miranda joined Weight Watchers after giving birth, met a guy called Tom and they developed a shared obsession with glazed doughnuts. His overeating of her eventually put her off them though, because of the associations.

The Scoobies (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Buffy and her Slayerettes’ investigations of whatever weekly weirdness was happening in Sunnydale seemed to run on doughnuts. Although Xander got a tad bitter about being sent on food runs, he was obviously performing a duty that was integral to the gang’s success. And if his obscure Magnolia reference, “Respect the cruller. And tame the donut!”, in ‘Once More With Feeling’, is anything to go by, it seems that he might have grown to accept his role. And to remember to save Giles some of the jelly-filled ones.

The Miami Metro Police Department (Dexter)

Dexter Morgan, blood splatter analyst for the Miami Metro Police Department and secret serial killer, is desperate to present a nice guy facade to the world so that his sociopathic tendencies won’t be discovered. Part of his attempt to fit in, and to curry favour, involves bestowing doughnuts on the cops he works with, including his sister Debra. His ploy neatly proves that bribing cops with doughnuts is an unequivocally great plan.

Booth (Bones)

Special Agent Seeley Booth seems to be a food enthusiast in general, and also to have a sweet tooth. He’s very big on pie, as well as doughnuts. At least he’s not quite the clichéd policeman (or, rather FBI agent) chowing down on ring after ring. There was an especially cute scene with Brennan and Booth, over doughnuts, at the end of the season two episode ‘The Girl With The Curl’, which ended with a firm decision to order Thai food- cos it’s important to have a balanced diet.

Marshall is definitely a food fan- he even once ate a calzone that fell on the floor. (Quelle horreur!) And you’d have to be the kind of person who gets a bit too excited about the prospect of a doughnut to fall for his brother’s “Hertz Donut” joke, as Marshall did in the ‘Oh Honey’ episode. It’s hard to believe that Marshall thought he had the right to consider Zoey’s cousin (played by Katy Perry) to be the dumb one…

Norman (Norman the Slug with the Silly Shell)

This sweet picture book, by Sue Hendra, features a slug who wishes to be a snail and his quest to find an appropriate shell. While his choice of a doughnut works well structurally, the fact that they are damn tasty- and thus attractive to predators in the animal kingdom- causes some problems, and Norman eventually decides to go down a different path.

Still, this slug with transformative ambitions clearly appreciates doughnuts, and the book is suitably adorable, so he definitely deserves a place on the list.

Emma (No Strings Attached)

No Strings Attached is one of, if not my very favourite, rom-coms. I challenge you not to enjoy this film, seriously. One of the best parts was a distraught Emma (Natalie Portman) being comforted by her (stoned) sister (Olivia Thirlby) over the phone. Her words of wisdom assure the broken-hearted Emma that if she just spends all her money on doughnut holes, everything will be better. The scene of her driving down the motorway, stuffing them into her already sugar covered face, while listening to the mix CD her not-boyfriend made her is simply adorkable.

Parkman (Heroes)

Matt Parkman was another policeman (albeit a telepathic one) with a taste for doughnuts, which might have made him a “walking cliché” as he was referred to. Heroes played with the idea though by having Eden, who had the ability to control people, force him to eat an entire box of them. Pigging out is one thing, but people ought to be able to choose to do so.

Apparently the command was so creepy it deserved its own remix:

Got a favourite doughnut lover of your own? Tell us about it in the comments! Glazed gifts will also be gratefully accepted.

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6 thoughts on “Do not take the last doughnut”

Donuts kinda frighten me. I haven’t eaten one in the longest time! When I was younger I used to be obsessed with Dunkin Donut holes, and I had a troubling love affair with Krispy Kremes while in America (THEY TASTE LIKE CLOUDS)… this was before they were available in Selfridges/Tesco… I think I do like them, but probably too much. Cupcakes seem slightly more manageable.