Join us as we discuss verbal and emotional abuse, why it occurs, and how you can stop it. Anyone can join in by making comments on the different blogs we post. This blog is based on the work of Dr. Mike and Shelly Marshall and their book, respect-me
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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Boy is this the truth, "A master at verbal abuse can damage your self-esteem while, at the same time, appear to care deeply for you." Because they care so deeply (and usually they do!) we end up justifying or excusing the abuse. and once again we mistakenly beleive that if, just if, we get it right, they will love and respect us...

this is one of the ways we reinforce the abuse!

Verbal Abuse: Is Your Relationship Verbally Abusive?: "Verbal abuse is difficult to identify and regrettably can be a common type of abuse in some marriages. Not all words that are meant to hurt are "ugly words." A master at verbal abuse can damage your self-esteem while, at the same time, appear to care deeply for you. The use of words to punish is a very covert attempt to control and regardless of how loving your spouse may appear to be, verbal abuse is wrong and can be just has harmful as physical abuse."

Friday, December 16, 2011

Here's an interesting view on domestic abuse--saying allthe "right" things--trying to show how if we change "tem" our life will improve. it's really hard to get away from that in our society of blame blame blame. Read her article and see if you can identify what will really help a target of abuse and what is blaming. Remember from "Respect-Me Rules" that if you up and leave your abuser before changing YOUR behavior, you will simply attract or train a new partner as an abuser too.

The author, Sonya, does mention that we have to include men in our considerations too. Some women are terriby abusive--yet remmber, in order them to abuse, we have to let it happen--again and again and agian.

Here's an exceprt but I encourage you to read the whole article and pick out the recommendations that will help you stop abuse and what is likely to keep the pattern in place.

But, and it has to be said, why in our so-called enlightened times are we continuing to act as if men are not also on the receiving end of vitriol and attack? Why is Domestic Violence still portrayed as men as the abuser and women as the abused?
What is clear to me, juding by the abundance of help available to women from nationwide shelters and confidential hotlines and the lack of similar assistance for men, is that failing to recognise it as a real issue leaves us in a quagmire of inequality incapable

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Hey, I ran across Kelly Holly's top ten list and I tend to agree--read for a laugh--or maybe some tears!

I was sitting around on Thanksgiving Day thinking about all of the holiday traditions I left behind when I left my husband. Amazingly, there aren’t any that I miss. I really did try to get myself choked up about my lack of traditional family time, but the tears wouldn’t come. Instead, I ended up with a top ten list of the holiday traditions I happily leave in my past.

1.) His insistence on his family’s traditional foods. That wouldn’t be so bad except my family’s traditional dishes were unapproved.