highschool

Note From GirlSpring: This is the first part of a fictional series from our one of our contributors. GirlSpring empowers girls to be creative in different outlets, such as fiction writing (as this is). If you want to become a contributor, head over to www.girlspring.com/submit.

Episode 1: “It’s Life”

Hi, my name is Yasmeen Marie Pepei Lopez, I know I know a very very very long name but that’s what my abeula Roseleen named me. I am a sophomore and I go to James County High School but everyone just calls it J.C.

“yasmeen! hurry up, you’re gonna be late!” my mom xiomara yelled.

“coming!” I said as I put on my sneakers and head down the stairs.

“well look who’s alive.” my papá roberto said as he picked up his bag.

“I know, i know..” I said picking up some toast as I heard my brother xzaiver’s car horn beep indicating that he’s about to leave.

“better hurry mija.” my mom said entering the kitchen.

“I’m going, love you guys.” I said hurrying outside.

“love you too, be safe!” my mom yelled as I approached the car and hopped in.

“took you long enough.” xzaiver said pulling off.

“yeah yeah, whatever.” I said.

“what if I’m late?” my sister ava said.

and here it goes, let me just give you a run down on my life.

I have three siblings, xzaiver who’s 17, ava who’s 12, then joey who’s 7. we all have very different personalities, just like me and my best friends, but in the end we’re one big family.

speaking of friends, let me introduce you to them.

first, we have isiah, he’s very outspoken and a wild card you could say. he LOVES makeup, and you rarely see him without it he’ll probably start his own makeup company one day, he also happens to be gay but he’s open about it and we wouldn’t trade him for the world.

next, we have kacey, she’s the artist of the group you will never ever see her without her pencils and her sketchbook. most people think she’s shy but when you get to know her..let’s just say not so shy..

then there’s elijah, we just call him eli. he’s the star quaterback, the “hot jock” everyone loves. even through he plays football and seems like that “hottie” that’s too cool for school, he’s actually a huge geek. he loves astrology and star wars and anything that deals with the galaxy but not many people know that but us..

and onto ivy, ivy is the mom of the group she’s also putting herself before us and also keeping us in shape and at times out of trouble. not at all times though, she loves to dance so she will occasionally drag her to a party or two and then.. a whole new ivy comes out.

next is nova, nova is the more reserved and quite one, her parents hold certain standards over her that kind of makes her not that social, but when she’s around us she’s herself. she’s actually really funny and loves to collect cameras. she has a huge passion for the photographer world.

after her, there’s isabella, but we call her izzy. she has a passion for music and playing instruments, you will never not hear her singing or making some type of music.

last but not least, theodore, yes that his name but he goes by teddy. he loves nature and animals and he’s always dragging us on some type of adventure. he will not just stay in one place, he’s determined to travel the entire world and we most definitely can see that.

and that’s our group, we’re not all perfect and we don’t always get along but hey, that’s natural.

“see if one of your friends can take you home, I have baseball practice” xzaiver said as we hopped out.

‘thanks for the late heads up” I said sarcastically

“you’re most definitely are welcome” he smirked walking away to his group of friends.

“yass yasmeen!’ isiah yelled out walking up to me.

” you look fab-ou-lous honey!” he said causing me to laugh.

“thanks siah, where is everyone else?” I asked as we intertwined arms heading into the school.

“I think they-” is all he could get out before they all head towards our way.

“right here.” he laughed.

“morning chicas” isiah said hugging everyone as I do the same.

“why are you always so happy in the morning?” kacey asked rolling her eyes.

‘because, who wouldnt be this happy when you look like this?” he said doing a vogue and walking down the hall as if it was a fashion show walk way.

the bell ring sounds for homeroom.

“and it starts, see you guys at lunch.” I say as we all part our ways.

nova, teddy and I head to the same class.

“so there’s this party this weekend at rebecca’s house, we should go” teddy said as we took our seats.

“not really up for a party…you know how my parents are.” nova said.

“just say you’re staying at my place to study.” I said.

“I would but its too close to weekly exams and you know how my dad gets around this time” she said sadly.

she’s right, you know how people makes jokes about how smart asians are and how their parents are super super strict well those are nova’s parents. they expect her to make all A’s and be the perfect daughter and go to church and be an innocent angel.

“we’ll come up with something.” teddy said.

“maybe..” nova replied.

“okay, what’s really wrong? you seem more off them usual.” teddy said as the teacher told us to quiet down so he could take roll.

“I’ll tell you later.” she said turning her attention onto the teacher.

teddy and I gave each other a look, nova’s usually not like this but whatever it is hopefully it’s nothing too bad but in this group you honestly never know.

but hey, everyone goes through all kinds of stuff especially at our age but that’s life.

New Year, new you! How to be Your own Person in High School

The key to being yourself is to remain open-minded.

The truth is that there is no way to feel alone when you can create a lane and walk within that path. Standing out is hard, and it takes a lot of confidence to embrace yourself. Some people enjoy getting told what to do, but that is not the case for everyone. Always remember that no one can ever be you. Life is too short not to be able to express yourself in the way that you want. Thankfully, I was inspired by different kinds of people like those who participated in cosplay and dressed up in costumes at festivals. I found friends who are not average or conventional. It is essential to remember that being your own person is necessary and important even in spaces like high school and middle school.

Being young and knowing yourself is a quality that we all need.

It is a character trait that you need to carry into adulthood. Some people have allowed themselves to be taken advantage of solely because they didn’t know themselves. Essentially, the earlier, the better.

Surround yourself with people who support who you are.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of being around people because you don’t want to be lonely or because you want attention. Both those are false illusions. Wasting away on people who don’t want better for you will only cause a sense of displacement. Make a list of traits that you value, or a list of things you look for in friendships and keep those thoughts in mind as you go out and socialize. Make a list of everything that you want to improve on. Surround yourself with people that will make you be and feel better.

Lastly, understand that change requires growth.

There were times where I felt so uncomfortable in high school. It made me feel so scared of the world and what it had to offer. I thought that people were trying to attack me and make me feel little. It felt like I had no one to shield me from the possible harm that I could face, or had no one to sit me down to talk to me about things that I had questions about such as sex and sexuality. I just felt misunderstood and like no one wanted to hear me, but I had to learn that I valued my own voice enough to trust my gut. But I learned that it was all apart of the experience and that there was nothing to be afraid of. The world is yours if you make it over in that image. Find some time to do something, and love on yourself with open arms.

How to Deal with Isolation

Isolation and loneliness were some of the biggest hurdles that I dealt with, in my high school career.

I was constantly left to my thoughts, and didn’t know how to articulate them in a way that was healthy. One of the main reasons I support self-love is because I have spent some time with myself and realized the vastness that was within it. I started to embrace the fact that I was to be “alone” on most of this journey. After that, I began to let go of that fear by spending time in the arts, or music. These things made me feel good about myself. Spending time around people that made me feel real helped me find my place in the world.

Some of the relationships that I had with my teachers made it easier to deal with my mental health.

For example, on www.understand.org, the website says, “High school teachers often have passions that they like to share with their students. If your child has a specific interest or skill, ask around. There may be a group of kids or a teacher who shares that interest.” Simple acts of participating where I saw fit, or speaking on topics in class that interested me helped to build social connections. If I was not feeling well, they’d let me step outside and take a breather. When I grew tired or drained, they let me rest.

I wish I focused on building my future.

Putting more energy into studying hard and working on my grades rather than spending extra time hanging out with friends. Instead of being bothered by gossip, I wish I learned about colleges. I wish I would have known better and that it’s all relative to my growth. However, I had to learn to stop beating myself up over that as well because I did not have the proper resources, outlets, and guidance to allow me to stay on the clearest path.

I wish that I did not start until the 12th grade to take myself and my mental health seriously.

Around the time that I started studying for the ACT (usually through Kaplan and the Princeton Review), I realized how I could think more critically. Before, because of my lack of confidence, I struggled with taking myself seriously because of what I allowed other people to project onto me.

Depression is something that can get the best of all of us.

Feeling as if we are inadequate or alone can get the best of us. Again, knowing and understanding that this is all apart of the process will help you to place that energy into other things such as your art, your grades, and your state of mind and making sure that you are doing the very best you can to be the best person that you can be.

How to Feel Less Alone in High School

Although I am almost three years removed from high school, it was one of the most sacred times of my life.

In high school, I learned about myself and the importance of spending time alone. This helped me feel like I would eventually be able to take care of myself. However, this did not come easy. I faced several bouts of depression. I endured an intense chapter where I was apart from my mother. Also, I drifted away from close friends that I had, had since I was a child.

I had a lot of emotions and thoughts inside of myself it was hard to function. I remember when I was fourteen, my mom had decided to leave the home that I had grew up in. She left my brother and me with my grandparents. I felt alone watching my other friends in a two-parent household, with their own houses and families. Needless to say, I felt misplaced.

Thanks to the creative program I had at my high school, I used my words to guide me through the deep pain that I had felt.

I have stressed that developing your own personal identity is important to how you navigate life. However, I was clueless about the topic in high school. There were no adult figures to guide me. However, I learned (slowly) that everything I needed was inside of me. I did not need to search outside of myself for it. When my parents used to let me down, it was easy for me to feel sad or betrayed. I had to learn that they were only human beings. Little did I know, that those were the type of situations I needed to develop my own personal skill set as a human being.

As seen on www.affinitymagazine.us, “High school will turn you, throw you, flip you, chew you, spit you out, crush you, and then build you back up just to break you again. No matter what you are struggling with; grades, family, friends, worries of the future, drugs, money, sexuality, mental illness, looks, whatever it is, no single person is immune to the cruelty of these four years.” I had to learn to put myself first at an early age because I did not know the meaning of standing on my own two feet. Eventually, I grasped the concept. I had to accept myself to grow into a better person.

I had to owe it to myself to find my place.

President Bill Clinton, as cited on www.humansandnature.org, says, “As we seek to instill important values in a new generation of Americans, we must redouble our efforts to improve student learning, responsibility, and sense of belonging.” This is a true proclamation I have grown into the idea of inclusivity that was missing from the bouts of sadness that I found myself in. If there were a sense of community from staff, I think I would have saved much of my own suffering. Thankfully, I was able to define it on my own terms which were the best part of my high school career.