The second half of 2018 was hard. I mean really hard. I went through a lot mentally and emotionally that I haven’t discussed with anyone yet and I don’t know when I’ll be ready to. What I will say, though is that this rough patch left me uninspired and unmotivated, which is why BTZ has been on hiatus and for that, I apologize.

However, today is a special day because today marks three years since I first hit publish on this site. Crazy right? So I scoured all of my favorite publications and social media pages to find the appropriate subject for today’s post, but I came up empty-handed. As usual, there’s currently plenty happening in the fashion world that I could’ve picked from (Moschino’s codename for Black customers, the influencer craze, how ridiculously hard it is to find an internship, etc.), but none of that felt right.

Instead, I’ve decided to introduce a new series, Letters. Like a letter from an editor in a newspaper or magazine, Letters is a chance for me to just talk to you. There will be no soapbox speeches on the morality, or lack thereof, of the industry or trend critiques/analysis in this series, but just updates and words from one friend to another.

As far as updates go, I’m excited to share with you guys that I’ll be beginning Teen Vogue and Parsons’ Fashion Industry Essentials online program soon. For those who have never heard of the program, it’s a year-long certificate program made up of five courses which teach different aspects of the fashion industry. This is something I really just stumbled upon and didn’t even know about a month ago, but I’m so excited to begin the journey because up until this point, my fashion education has been informal.

Being accepted into this program has relit a spark in me that I hadn’t realized (or maybe fully accepted) had gone out. Working in a creative capacity, whether that be as writer, designer or anything else is draining. Your work is always personal, which is a blessing at some times and a curse at others. The blessing is the passion and general enjoyment in the work. The curse is the inevitable comparisons and lack of inspiration that make you question not only your work, but yourself. That’s part of what I dealt with last year and in all honesty, it kicked my ass.

What I’ve learned, though is that work is just that– work. No matter how passionate I am, it can’t be my life because that will always lead to unhappiness and the yearning to do more. I chose to share this because hopefully it can help someone else, and if not, at least it felt good it get it out.