THE NEW YORKER My previous experience has made me resigned to the deflating fact that my small hoy, who at home hurtles to meet me with demonstrations of rapture after an absence of only half a day, will now, after an absence of several months, greet me with a formal "Hi" and a brief handshake. I know better than to try to kiss him. Last time, when I leaned for- ward to do so, he ducked in mortifica- tion and left me smacking the air. As before, he will be waiting for me outside the front door and wÜl conduct me in- side in the manner of someone at Tat- ters ll's bringing in a horse the behavior of which is uncertain. The weather be- ing milder, he will be spared the hu- miliation of watching me, in the process of taking off my galoshes, re1110ve my shoes at the same time and stand stock- ing-footed for some moments in the crowded hallway. I suppose the "sev- erall peopel" will again he three or four of his classmates to whom he will be re- luctant to exhibit me and about whom, although I will never before have laid eyes on them, he will expect me to know every detail. This time I have reserved a table. Last time we found the dining room looking like Saturday noon at Sardi's, with every tahle overflowing and a line- , up at the door. A gracious and rather pretty lad r asked us if we had reserved a table, and I said why no, and my son said why hadn't I, and I countered why hadn't he, to which his reply was an exasperated "Really, Mother!" Our distress was evident and the gracious lady consoled us by setting us up a spe- cial festive board in an alcove off the library, which was all right by my son, who, after the episode of the galoshes, thought it safest to keep me quietly out of sight. Lunch was nervous but pleas- ant. My child's buddies impressed me as being very nice, and I thought, some- what fatuously, that we all got along amazingly well, although at one point my boy hissed at me that I didn't have to laugh so loud. If I did, it was due to a certain amount of strain, which I imagine they too shared. There is a technique, which I am slow at master- ing, for c2rrying on social chitchat with little boys. All of them were on their best behavior, which meant that most of the time they maintained complete silence, while I searched wildly about in my mind for topics of possible inter- est. With much too eager brightness, I asked the routine questions-where each of them came from, what college they were going to, how they liked school. I even ventured a few remarks on athletics, which, coming from me, , ''5 '="- f>o" ;If{ ''''''""""'A::::,:'' ";m""""""",,,,/W "<./"'''J ' . J . 7 23 f -;.""- -..... ..,,: ""*'" , í:fi:\ (t::: , ,/ : /:' j DR.EAMS OF GLOR. Y . was the equivalent of Betty Grable dis- cussing relativity. They answered each question politely and then lapsed into polite silence. Once or twice I managed to come forth with something in the na- ture of a quip, at which they burst out in a chorus of deafening guffaws, which ceased as abruptly as they started and were followed by further stretches of that polite silence. All through the meal, my son regarded me with a look which was softened by momentary gleams of appreciation but which, for the most part, indicated that he thought I might at any minute start dancing a samba on the table. Lunch ended with no greater mishap than my forgetting to pay for it, which 111ade my son again say, "Really, Moth- er!" He never calls me Mother unless he is particularly ashamed of me, and that weekend he never called me any- thing else. Lunch over, he pulled off the first of a series of disappearing acts which he performed at intervals during the next twenty-four hours. The school is a large one, with many buildings and vast grounds. Emerging from some hall or dormitory, he would suddenly an- nounce that now we would go to some place with a cryptic name like Big U p- per or Down Lower and, before I'd have time to ask him what he meant, he'd be gone, leaving me to wander . about like a derelict until he'd reappear, as suddenly as he had vanished, to ask impatiently why I hadn't come along. Ha ving some extra studying to do, he deposited me on a settee in a sort of parents' social hall, told me not to move till he got 'back, and seemingly evaporated. My time, for the most part, was beguiled by another mother, an imposing woman who looked like a combination of Demeter and Susan B. Anthony. She was knitting a sea boot with such zealous efficiency that she gave the impression of doing two at the same time. "\Vhat form's your boy in?" came from her in a clarion tone, and 1 real- ized that she was addressing me. "The first," 1 replied, then, noticing the slight lift to her eyebrow, added vindicatingly, "He's only just thirteen." "Same form as my Ronald," she said. Then, doubtless to put me at ease, she added, "He's eleven." "A Quiz Kid!" was what I wanted to say, but, being a lady, I merely in- quired if he were her only child. "Mercy, no!" she retorted. "1 have five. All boys. All of them went here." "How wonderful," I murmured. "Their father went here before them," she continued, and, being stuck for another reply, I came out with an- other "How wonderfu!." She then started a dissertation on the \