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September 12, 2010

I'm on a rant

I usually try to keep this blog a happy place, but every now and then a girl's just got to complain. So today, I'm thinking about 20 things that just bug the crap out of me.

1. I hate the fact that I have had a cold that I just can't shake. I especially hate this because after having two kids the old fashioned way, I wet my pants about every third time I sneeze or cough. You know what I mean- it comes on ya' too fast to halt and cross your legs and clench. Grrr... annoying.

2. The word "fart". All the neighborhood kids say "fart" like it's the hot word of the week. I just hate the way it sounds. We are a "toot" kinda family.

3. People who offer to have you over for dinner and then expect your children to eat things like pickled beets.

4. Combing hair. Everyone in this house cries when their hair gets combed. I think I will shave everyone's head. I'll start with my own.

5. Intolerance. Burning Qurans. Burning flags. Prop 8 controversy. The "N" word. When we will learn that we are all just people with beating hearts and the desire to be loved and understood?

6. Yo Gabba Gabba. In my opinion it's the most annoying children's show on TV. Oh- and the theme song to Sponge Bob. Because really- it doesn't make any sense to live in a pineapple under the sea.

7. Hard toilet paper. We have kids who don't understand how much tp is too much to flush, so our plumber recommended this specific kind of toilet paper to help our flushing problems. Unfortunately it feels like wiping with tree bark.

8. Skinny jeans. Oh lord- 98% of the population looks horrible in these and they are the only kind of jeans that any of the stores are selling this year. I hate that the mid rise boot cut has become the new "mom" jean. I mean, am I so wrong that I don't want the top 2 inches of my butt crack showing or that I actually have thighs? I am growing monumentally more uncool by the minute.

9. Checking out with hair lotion and the sales person saying something like, "Oh, did you realize that this is for ethnic hair?" Ummm, yeah.

10. I hate when there is no chocolate in the house. That spells a major catastrophe for me.

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