Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Be Careful Where You Piss

Mental note to self, if I ever go to Japan WATCH OUT! This is part 2 of the "Crazy Japanese Prank Show" post. This video is great!

By the way, there is new Iguana Music for this post. The Iguana Music is not exactly about the content of the post, and really does not fit the theme here - but whatever. "Turning Japanese" has nothing to do with Japan. By the way, does anyone here ever click the Iguana Music? Cause I put up some good shit. So what does "Turning Japanese" all about? Lets just say cut that out or else you will go blind.

I suggest starting the You Tube video, turning the volume down, then starting up the Iguana Music. I really hope everyone has high speed internet!

The joke here is that some portable toilets are rigged. You go in, squat, and after 10 seconds the roof pops open and the toilet is lifted up. The funny part is that the person is still on the throne.

You HAVE TO watch this. Part 2 of the video involves a portable toilet, a boat, tow rope, and a wave board. Classic. Funny as....well.....shit.

What got me was the toilet design. Seriously, I would have to think about how to use the thing. It is long and narrow. Are you supposed to squat on it? Cause I do not cop a squat on public toilets. I am a man - I stand up to pee. If I have to crap then I just wait till I get home. Seriously. One time on a car trip I had to take a shit 20 minutes away from home. I held the shit in for 8 hours. Yea it was painful. I actually did shit before I got to the final destination. I had to pull into a rest stop off the interstate, go into the mens room. grab some ass wiping paper - and then I bolted off to the woods. Seriously. The woods. I found two sapling trees that were close enough together to convert into a "seat". I bent the trees at a 90 degree angle about three feet off the ground, dropped trow, sat on my woods throne, shat, wiped, and left.

The trees were probably not going to live anyway - they were too close together. My ass is not that wide. There was no time to dig a trench, so I shat bear style. No digging. No covering up. I left my handy work there for the world to see. I hope nobody stepped in it.

The point is, I did not use the gross public toilet. By the way, that really did happen. I am not making it up. I was in Alabama, I would never do that in Florida. I live in Florida after all. You do not shit in the woods where you live. Unless you dig a proper shitting hole.

It seems from this prank video that in Japan, you do not always stand up to pee. I will probably be arrested for pissing on a tree when I go there. But after watching this video no way will I use a portable toilet over there!

You guys are lucky. I've cleaned bathrooms when I worked for Barnes and KnowBell. Women are SO much dirtier than men. EEWWWW. Every time us women have to go, we have to do the hover thing unless we have a Whizzy in our possession. This is the real reason we have killer quads.

THEN, as a chick, you have to master the One-Armed Hover and when all else fails and you cannot possibly find another place to go, it's the Honey - Bucket - Look - No - Hands - Ma Hover. That takes some skilz, let me tell you.

First, I do listen to the music when you remind me. I remember this song very well actually. BTW, your blog comes through for me with the music way down at the bottom. So, no reminder, no listen. How 'bout putting it up towards the top?

Second, I've seen worse toilets in Italy. And these guys in the video may have been doing more than pissing. I don't understand how they can get away with doing this to people!!!??!

Ed - Dish Network offers "world TV". For an extra charge, you can add TV from almost anywhere in the world. I am seriously thinking about asking DirecTV if they have a similar service option. If so, I may just order the "Japan" package.

Emma - I have heard lots of women say the ladies room is gross. But let me tell you about the men's room. it is gross too. Men get drunk and piss all over the place. Some of it MIGHT get in the toilet, but do not count on that. The pissers are also gross for the same reason. And I have seen what looks like pubic hair stuck in the ceiling tile. How the hell does that stuff get up there? What are people doing in there? I do not really want to know.

TLP - I do not understand the Japanese TV show either. It wish it had subtitles - or better yet that I could speak and read Japanese. I am sure it would be funnier.