Monday, April 21, 2014

A Personal Tale + Stop Bullying. ♥

Monday, April 21, 2014

Femme's Reflections is a feature I created on my blog to share my personal reflections.

I thought I do a post about a very serious topic, bullying.. A lot of people suffer from it, I've suffered from it as a kid as well. Let's help end bullying and put a smile on everyone's faces now :) Instead of bringing people down, let's bring them up. Some people believe bullying isn't that serious and others are dumb if they let others get to them.. well sorry to say cupcakes, but NOT everyone is like you! People are created identical, we're all bones inside but our personalities are different. Cyber bullying is just as dangerous, sometimes even more because it's verbal abuse they're getting. I don't understand the point of hating, why waste your time bringing someone down? Bullying leads to suicide guys, it is harmful and not healthy .. Today, you called someone a "fat cow." Do you want to have the guilt of their suicide tomorrow? Treat people the way you want to be treated.s

When people go online, don't cyber bully them - instead make them smile.

Other people believe it's okay to pick on someone. Some do it and say "I'm just messing with them. It's just a joke." Again, you seriously need a reality check! That's not an excuse to make a fool out of someone and your own too.

My personal story
I suffered from bullying when I was six years old - I just remember this grumpy kid used to bother me. I would go home from school and during the bus ride, he would sit next to me and pull my hair really hard. He'll bother me, go through my things, steal my food and money, and say "You're weird" and call me other names as well. This went on for a couple of months, I didn't know how to stop this. He was in fifth grade, while I was barely in second. As a kid, I was pretty small. I'm still small, so it makes me an "easy target." Finally, I put an end to this and told my mother. She told the bus driver, and the kid got in some big trouble - probably suspension. I never saw him after that, he left me alone.

That was one of the most proudest moments of my life, I mean come on? I was six years old guys and I stood up for myself! You can and .. should too.

Even though, that is gone. It still continues to happen today through. Ever been called a terrorist before? I'm Muslim, and after 9/11 there has been a lot of prejudice towards us. Not everyone does it though. I will do a post on the Misconceptions about Muslims & Islam soon, so there's more awareness about it :) Yes, I created this blog mostly to make a change - not just to simply blog about beauty and books.

Cyberbullying
That is something I never had happened to me before, but ever since I've gotten a lot of followers on Instagram - it came with it. People take other people lives too seriously - it's just odd people leave me lectures on what's good or bad. Others feel it's their right to not advise me, but instead judge. Some give an excuse "I'm being honest" or "It's my opinion, not judging" Uhmm .. opinions only come on something/someone when you judge them. Judgments aren't bad at all sometimes. If I say Angelina Jolie is beautiful, that's a judgement. The point is, it should never cross the point of being vicious or straight up hating.

Let's all take a recap on what's an opinion and what's hating :D Might make you feel stupid, but it's worth it.

Opinion #1 "You are beautiful"

Hating # 1 "You're ugly."

If you don't find someone beautiful, just keep it to yourself - DON'T ever call someone ugly or bad looking. I don't even understand what's the point of saying someone's ugly anyway? How would you feel if someone called you ugly? What if your mom called you ugly? Strange ..

Opinion # 2 "You shouldn't wear a lot of makeup, I believe less suits you more"

Hating # 2 "Why do you cake your face soo much?? The contouring/shading you do just looks horrible. Awful makeup."

Notice the difference in the usage of words. I believe an opinion isn't bad at all, it's like constructive criticism. There aren't bad opinions, there is just bad judgement. Don't assume things about someone ever without getting to know them, it is hurtful. If you still continue to say "I'm just giving an opinion, for their own good." Constructive criticism should always be given in private, there's no reason to publicly bash someone on the internet in front of hundreds or thousands of people. It's even more weird, when that "opinion" comes from a fake trolling people, like please get over yourself. Jealousy is a disease, I hope you realize one day that you're a beautiful individual yourself so you don't have to go out picking someone else's flaws.

Being humble will go a long way, arrogance and cockiness will always go down the gutter.

No one likes an arrogant person, I find it so disturbing when someone is so beautiful yet they're so .. full of themselves :/ Way to ruin a beautiful face. Anyway, I feel not many people are being real, it's like a trend these days on who's more popular or who's more faker. I still believe everyone has some good in them, humanity still exists.

This is a really sick world sometimes, don't be cruel to someone else's daughter/son, because in the future karma will hit you when it happens to you or your kids. If you can't bring someone's spirit up, then don't bring it down either! Make love, not war. Give the next person you see a smile, hug each otherrrrr! :)

Okay.. well hugging a stranger is creepy but do it anyway after getting to know them.

There's a lot of talent and beauty to go around, don't pick on others to make yourself feel better. Humble yourselves, if you see someone being bullied! Stand up for them, don't just stand and watch or even worse join in. See the beauty in others, and people will see the beauty in you .. :) Have a good attitude x

I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as I enjoyed writing this, I hope we can make a difference together! Thank you for reading as always. Leave you blog links in the comments & I'll be sure to check them out and follow :) Stay in tuned beautiful people..

"See the beauty in others, and people will see the beauty in you" - Benish Khan

this is an amazing post. I 100% agree to this, bullying is not healthy in any form. I've bullied once. and there are a lot of bullying that leads to death. great post dear. would you like to follow each other on gfc, bloglovin, and facebook? let me know!

Hi Beenish,I love this post.It is so very important to remember that manners are as necessary online as they are in real life.A few words can leave a lasting impression on someone so its important to be kind.Stay blessed and keep smiling.

Well done for you for doing a post about an issue that is not often spoken about in the blogging world. And well done to you for sticking up for yourself, all those years ago. That must have taken quite some courage. I'm now following you on GFC. Please check my blog out, & if you love it as much as I do, follow me :) xxlouiseabenamensah.blogspot.co.uk/

This post is very inspirational! Son many people go through bullying at schools without it being noticed by others :(I actually went through it myself so I know how hard it is!I'm not following you via GFC :)I hope you will return the favour!Maya xx

I completely agree, I absolutely cannot stand people who bully, I think they are a disgrace!I think people are so sad who take time out of their day to comment on something being hurtful or just plain rude, think of the energy they have put into all that, they could have done something far more productive with their day instead.I've recently had some hassle off my uni tutor, she told me to play at my strengths and so I did, and we don't really see eye to eye and she makes mean comments to not only me but other students in my class but I tolerate it because of uni and it'll be finished with soon, anyway she tells me the other day (3weeks before my final deadline) that my work is not good enough to get a degree and basically told me my work was a lost cause, rather than realising I could struggle and encourage or help she chose to insult me and give up on me. Aside from that, there is some people I know who I make an effort with for the sake of someone I care about and I was told that they were being bitchy behind my back. Especially when I've never done anything to be nasty to them I've always made the effort with them and been nice and they have nothing to have against me either and decide to be that way. I think it's ridiculous especially when you get to being 20+ of age and people still go on like children. Again they are also at uni and I think they need to spend more time finishing their uni work rather than talking about what I'm doing or not doing etc.I find it hard sometimes with cases like this because I like to get along with people and avoid any dramas as much as I can (don't get me wrong I defend myself when I have to) but to have people be unnecessarily mean hurts as I realise you can't please everyone, even those who you try and be nice to. But I think the best thing to do is keep your head high, laugh it off, be the bigger person, defend yourself when you need to and keep those negative people out of your life and off your comments etc, at the end of the day if you retaliate just as badly, then you can sometimes come off worse, whereas if you don't give them the reaction they want and just make a joke out of it, others will think you're better than them and think those hurtful people are horrible and they'll look like idiots and have no friends,It is usually stemmed from jealousy most of the time and karma tends to hit those people anyway.It doesn't matter how strong of a person you are, it can still hurt just as much. I don't understand it when I go on the likes of youtube and I see people writing horrible comments, I'm like "why even comment?" I know its a cliche but "if you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all" I think it is very truthful. If I saw any of those people I mentioned post a photo etc and I wasn't that bothered about it I'd just ignore it or not comment on it, I wouldn't go and comment on it saying something hurtful just for the sake of it.And I know this bit is cheesy, but if you get hassle over something like "you have big ears" or "you have a big nose" etc, I believe that there is someone out there in this world for you who will think that feature is one of the things they love about you. We all have to accept that we have flaws and things we don't like about ourselves, but we should learn to accept them as they are a part of you and learn to love yourself flaws and all! The most important thing is how you feel about yourself and if you are happy in yourself it will show so don't ever let anyone take that away from you!People will be jealous of your sparkle, so don't let anyone dull your sparkle!

Wow, thank you for sharing your story with me and everyone else. I do believe people have freedom of speech, but they should never abuse it. I don't understand the point of hateful comments especially when you know the other person will just get sad.

I agree, people will always be jealous of what they cannot be or have - it's rather sad, but it's life. In a way, bullying has made me stronger. I learned to take the negativity well and handle it better now. Not everyone is the same though, people think it's okay to "joke" or "manhandle" someone. It's not cool at all, karma will hit them in the end though. Everyone has flaws, people should learn to accept each other.

No problem, I'm very passionate about this topic (if my essay of an answer wasn't obvious enough haha!) and I loved reading this post about it :)I agree that it does make people stronger, I'm glad you have learned from your own experience and you've overcome it and are better for it :) You are an inspiration to others :Dxx