• They each took one tablet of Ambien, which is legal under the IOC, but was banned just before the Olympics by Australia's Olympic committee. (This was apparently something of a longstanding ritual, handed down from relay team to relay team.)

The consequences could be dire. The AOC could impose sanctions, including withdrawing funding from the relay team for the 2016 Olympics. Medal-winners could lose cash bonuses they already received. Swimming Australia has formed an "integrity panel" to investigate further, while the AOC has enlisted a senior jurist to conduct its own probe.

Meanwhile, Australian football and rugby leagues are beset with major scandals involving steroid use, recreation drugs, organized crime links, and match-fixing. But no, let's worry about some ding-dong-ditch.