“Just one night,” Kinsey writes. “Imagine just one night you’re Gronk at some Mohegan club.”

I’m imagining it, and the fantasy includes hours of yelling, blurring into frantic dancing and eventually total darkness. The next thing you know, you wake up in a strange hotel suite with fist-pump related tennis elbow and notice all the room furniture is six stories below at the bottom of the resort pool. Then comes the sharp rapping of hotel management at the door.

And that’s when we step out of the fantasy.

Granted, some will find a way to paint this as careless or irresponsible, because injured players are supposed to live in Bacta tanks and surface only for hard tack and life lessons from AJ #McHumble. I, however, prefer to view this as a low-contact drill.

Considering he has to scoop four ladies and Rob Schneider out of the way just to get to the men’s room, Gronkowski’s swim technique will be honed to the razor’s edge by the start of the 2014 season.

This is all part of what I predict will be a glorious return to form for the New England tight end in 2014. He may not be 100 percent on the field, but he won’t be afraid to operate in heavy traffic.