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Romans 12 – late night thoughts

I’m rocking Timothy and he’s fallen asleep. I’ve moved him twice but he’s woken up each time.

He sleeps better these days, and it seems like the farther removed you are from the sleepless newborn days, the more difficult middle of the night wakings seem to be, for me at least. 🙂

As I’m sitting here rocking him, though my body feels tired and is ready to go back to bed, my mind and heart feel at peace that this little being finds comfort in me.. If only for this little while.

Romans 12:1-2 have long been favorite verses of mine, you can find them scribbled in old journals of mine.

“1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Verse two has always been a verse I’ve repeated to myself or dwelled on when I felt the weight of peer pressure or the worldly invitation to cast off a biblical world view.

In these late night moments though, I really feel the weight of verse one and how it frees you to live out verse two.

When God’s mercy on my life is put into perspective as he laid down his wrath because my ransom has been paid, what response could be greater than to lay down my agenda for my life and offer up whatever willfulness and energy I would put towards those things and fuel them for the things God has placed before me in my calling of being a mom? No other response seems fitting.

Motherhood is almost secondary work to the world. We’re taught to strive for our dreams, get the big job, make the money, travel the world, then… When you feel like you’ve accomplished all the “you” stuff, then go for that motherhood stuff but make sure you don’t lose sight of yourself because you’re still #1 in your own life.

This is backwards, and as a Christian mother it can seem difficult to find peace in your role as a mom when the world is saying “well yeah, motherhood is admirable and sweet, but it doesn’t define you.”

But friends, it does. It really does.

It doesn’t wish to rob you of your identity and strip you from your worth, but to create an identity that frees you to feel so worthy of this calling.

If your mind can’t be freed from the shackles of finding your self worth within the boundaries of motherhood, it might be that you have the verses in opposite order. Our minds won’t be free until we commit every breath that our body can breathe to the Lord.

So as I sit and rock, in a role that doesn’t hold much weight in society, my mind is at peace because my body is in service.

I am worshipping the Lord in these moments as I was created to do and there isn’t a higher calling than being in service to him.

Whatever the Lord has called you to, allow yourself to give yourself wholly to it – no matter how big or small the task may seem – then and only then will you know the peace of God as you were made to know it.