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The key phrase here is If I trust him!!! I try to trust him but it seems like I keep coming up with obstacles that keep me from trusting him. I am not exactly sure why I sometimes have such a hard time. In my Theophostic prayer session today, I pictured myself outside of this door and Jesus was there saying go ahead and open the door to this memory, and I could see myself shaking my head and saying "No, I can't do it" and I was like paralysed with fear. I don't know know what the memory was, just that I could not trust Jesus to be there for me on the other side. Intellectually I know he would be, but there is something deep inside me as a child that will not let me go there yet. I wish i had more memories of my child hood. If you remember anything about me when we were young, I would appreciate hearing it, maybe it will help to triger some of my membories

1/28/2012

7:30 pm

Dee Huber (dgh118)

Well - first of all, I think I worded that wrong. Whether or not I trust Him has no bearing on the fact that He won't let me down. If I don't trust Him, it may SEEM as though He's let me down, but truly, He will not let me down!

I have very few memories of you as a child. After all - you were already 8 when I was born. My memories of my own life only go back to when I was about 4 - so you would have already been 12!

I remember we shared a room (and a double size bed) on Bonnie Lane. I can remember that sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel scared. I'd wake you up and ask you to put your arm around me! (Thank you for that!)

You need to keep up with Theophostic! Jesus will be there for you each and every time. He is very patient. He's not upset that you can't let go yet. He's going to keep encouraging you until that door opens! I'll keep praying for you! You can do this! I know!

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