It truly is unfortunate that so many men suffer needlessly from issues of low self-esteem, self-doubt, and downright paranoia when it come to the size of their penis. The truth is that the vast majority of men, even those who might have an abnormally small penis in the 6-7 inch range, can still enjoy a perfectly functional sex life. Many women are more than happy to pretend they don't care about penis size in order to enjoy other advantages, and recent innovations in self-pleasuring technology help ensure that all women paired with an inadequately endowed lover can still experience an occasional orgasm. Even so, there will always be those men for whom "just another inch, just one more" becomes an all-encompassing mantra.

If this is you, just remember that there are a variety of proven, safe, effective techniques out there that millions of men have used to successfully increase their size. No, they're not the expensive penis pumps and dangerous surgeries, the snake oil pills and the online scams. They're real, and you can do them, easily, yourself.

1) Remember that the size of your penis is controlled greatly by the amount of blood flow it receives. The greater the blood flow, the greater the size. Obviously, then, the larger the veins, the larger the penis. But how do you increase your vein size? Well, veins are a lot like muscles. When you work out and get sore, what's really happening is that muscle fibers are tearing and then repairing themselves. They repair themselves bigger and stronger than they were before. If you bruise the veins in your penis, it will hurt, but they'll be bigger when they heal. Do it enough, and you'll be astounded by the results.

What's important here is that you start with baby steps. Do not start punching your penis right on day one...much as in exercise, where newbies go whole-hog at the start and then quickly tire and lose interest, you want to begin with a relatively simple routine. Start by flicking yourself with your finger perhaps 30 times in a row, up and down all the veins that you can see. When it hurts too much to go on, give yourself another 3 or 4 flicks, then call it a day. Rest for two days, then repeat. If there's a little bruising, don't worry, that's normal. When you've successfully acclimated yourself to the flicking, move on to slapping, then clapping. Full on punching is the last step.

2) Also remember that your penis DOES have actual muscles in it. In fact, it is a muscle. So work it out! Any time your find yourself taking your penis out -- after a shower, at a urinal, watching porn, etc. -- don't just play with, exercise it! After a shower, get yourself erect and walk around for 10 or 15 minutes with a towel hanging from your penis. Start with the lighter towels, the wash cloths and hand towels, and work your way up to bath towels. You can do basic isometrics at a urinal...again, get yourself erect and then, with your palm, push down on your erection. Then push back up against your palm. Do about 20 or 30 of these "penis hand pushes," as they're called, and you'll see results within weeks.

3) Don't forget diet! Get in the habit of only eating when you have an erection. The extra blood flow to your penis will carry additional calories there, which will essentially deposit fatty tissue. Now, disclosure here: this won't do much to increase your length. But it WILL increase your girth. And trust me, guys...ladies like a girthy penis.

4) Finally, don't forget the power of the mind. Study after study has shown what an enormous effect positive thinking can have on everything from disease to happiness to overall mental well-being. Repeat the following Buddhist mantra to yourself at least four times an hour, every day: I have a large penis. I am well endowed. Women are in awe of my penis. Men cower in the presence of my penis. You're not going to see immediate results here, but over the long term, you'll be amazed.

Remember, men: just because your not blessed at the outset doesn't mean you can't find ways to catch up. Seize the day, and seize your penis.

Abox:Pocket Ninja: those who might have an abnormally small penis in the 6-7 inch range

Pfft. My girlfriend's clit is bigger than that.

Was she on the track team?

The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids. The team?s performance soars. They win the county and state championship until one day they are favored to win nationals easily. A 16-year-old hurdler visits her coach and says, "Coach, I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest."

"What?" the coach says in a panic, "How far down does it go?"

She replies, "Down to my testicles. That's something else I want to talk to you about."

So the researchers start off concluding that they can't perform the one and only test that matters (erect) which is false, but then go ahead and conduct a knowingly flawed study (flacid) anyway, and report their totally flawed findings?

No expectations; he's a pretty cool guy, but the trying to turn so many conversations into a feminist/anti-feminist flame-war is getting tiresome. Not all women are crazy, man-hating feminazis who treat their man like a doormat. Mostly I ignore it, but sometimes I'm compelled to say something because he seems so goddamn unhappy. Meh.

HotIgneous Intruder:thecpt: spentmiles: I use the only ruler that matters - the look on her face when I cram it all in:

Thats why I installed a mirror

Convex or concave?

I pondered on this for awhile until one day when I was walking through the local fun house I notice the perfect mirror. It was a seemingly typical fun house mirror which varied the size of the reflected objects from large to skinny. It was skinny on bottom, skinnier at the middle, and large up top. I placed it so the base level lined up with the top of my mattress. The subject would feel a sense of euphoria as they faced it on all fours, as they would notice that they were suddenly skinny and better yet their ass was much skinnier than usual. Enter me standing up. My upper body would look gargantuan as it was reflected, but my bottom half (member included) would seem almost laughable, similar to standing on the same level with Michaels Angelo's david. The subject might relax even more as they thought the next 10 minutes would be a rather boring affair similar to dropping a pen in your coffee cup. Hardly noticeable except for the remnants left behind. Au contraire mother farker. Similar to Paula Dean trying to enter a fried donut shop through a 3 by 8 door, I'm cramming like a slacker the night before finals.