Monday, December 9, 2013

12-3-13You
had to reach a certain amount of experience, and a certain amount of
that deliberately present, awake. There is yet a ways to go, but you
are assuming the tools to beautify your own life, including the
correct orientation to the Earth Goddess in you, whom you call the
Green One, The SnakeWoman, Wadjet, Co-being with Jesus Naga-Luz and
the Goddess Rest.

Her preference is to interact with you at the level
of the exquisite emotion at the border of the soul dimension. She
dances with you. The closer you come to the core, the closer you come
to Naga-Luz, the closer you come to her.

The
green one does not change. Things change about her. She is the
definition of green, and all other colors in heaven and earth.
Context, Protector, Firm but Gentle Teacher, Motivator and Fortifier,
Pure humility, Boundless joy, Solid-Ness Underfoot, Density of I AM.

You
don't have to doubt your feelings regarding any idea that you don't
want to express or think should be communicated. That's why you're
sensitive. You decide. There will be no coercion in this process. You
be the expert on such things, in your life- Of course, only where you
think it's the best way to be of service, including to yourself.
Through practice, you are going to learn about yourself, and teach
yourself to sink to the bottom, to reach the core.

Naming
it-Those feelings in your gut, that are emerging as a result of this
work, are guilt, fear of appearing disloyal (to an illusion), shame
of not being better than all of it, and the desperate frustration of
missing out on the greatest show in the universe of universes. It is
one of the first and best indicators that you are looking more
closely at the workings of your mind. Those emotions are an apparatus erected by you to protect your ego and pain body. You've
suffered enough from this combination. We will address it and move
forward.

The
first thing he said to me was that Rest was the one thing I deny
myself as a matter of course, almost constantly, even in sleep. Rest
must be chosen, and taken. You're running around looking for
the ability to Rest, even if you can't find the worthiness in you, both of which
you doubt possible.

Doubt, also known as Crisis
of Commitment. A common acquaintance to those raised to expect the worst, and/or those who didn't have time to grow secure before shelter disappeared. Fortunately, you have other acquaintances.

Yeah,
Doubt, she reminds you of Rest.She tries to imitate that goddess, the ground of regeneration
and rebirth. The impostor only gets as close in appearance (and that at a
glance) as offering something better than you have now. But she is
really an empty promise of Rest, who you're convinced must be in the
direction the deceiver bids you turn. If you get that new love or thing (achieve worthiness), the
lie goes, you'll be able to Rest. You'll finally see she really
delivers what that brief flash in the corner of your eye had
promised. You fall for it every time.

Her
hair is ever greener grass. Her skin is any color you think you want this instant, but absolutely what you don't have now.
You think the eyes are your mother's, until you look directly into
them. They're yours. You can tell by the agony in the corners. But
it's an illusion.

Do you see how sorry a substitute for Rest is this
mother of unrealized life lessons? Maybe you recognize her as the
active ego. And she keeps you very busy. She's always around. In
fact, she's the only one who will ever be, until you're ready to give
her up. But she's an illusion, as dead as the infant whose corpse she
holds in the bathtub in that dream (which was a sign used by your
unconscious to help you see that life is being limited by your
distance from Rest).

And
when you look back on the opportunities of which you believe doubt
has robbed you, you'll recall that, in the moment, the promise of
something better wasn't even that credible or well defined in the
first place. In your youth and situation, a faint suggestion was all
it took to send you ripping away from now, in the direction she
pointed, toward that which which failed again to deliver Rest.