'Don’t blame the ref – it might be me'

Refereeing a school match is a lot trickier than it looks; out on the field,
you suddenly start to question your own judgment, says Boarding School
Beak

With the best will in the world, referees make occasional mistakes.Photo: Alamy

By Boarding School Beak

10:06AM GMT 07 Feb 2014

All parents must have been guilty at some stage of muttering about school referees, if only under their breath. Yet, like many things, refereeing or umpiring a school match is a lot trickier than it looks.

I’ll never forget – how could I? – the first time I umpired a cricket match. It was a high profile fixture against our main rival. I’d watched a bit of Test cricket on television, roughly knew the rules and thought it was going to be a piece of cake. I’d borrowed a Panama, and was looking forward to a sunny afternoon.

So when, a few minutes into the match, our players appealed vociferously for an “lbw” (leg before wicket) decision, I lifted my left forefinger. It seemed automatic.

It was a mistake. I’d just wrongly given out their star batsman for a duck. I heard the howls of incredulity very clearly from the parents and players behind the boundary ropes, even from forty yards away:

The looks I received afterwards were totally humiliating. That kept me away from cricket for a time. But I missed the involvement with sport: the sheer relaxation of being outside, away from stuffy classrooms.

Besides, at boarding schools, we teachers are encouraged to get involved in sport. With teenagers on site 24/7, needing to let off steam after lessons, sport plays a vital part in making sure they’re happy and content.

What about trying my hand at football? The rules seemed straightforward enough. Surely I could manage that?

Having recently reffed a football match, I now realise what a tough job that is too.

For a start, it’s tiring. Not just physically, though keeping up with twenty-two teenagers would strain the stamina of most middle-aged adults. I was exhausted mentally, having to concentrate so hard the whole time.

With the best will in the world, referees make occasional mistakes. This leads to them being surrounded by packs of protesting players. Nothing makes teenagers more indignant than feeling:

“We was robbed!”

So, no matter how simple it seems, once out there on your own, you start to question your judgment. As always with teenagers, there are grey areas. Was that really an accidental trip, or handball?

Any hesitancy comes across in your voice and body language. Suddenly there’s a quaver, where before there was certainty. The confident smile at the start of the game has been replaced by a furrowed brow at the end.

Worst of all, is the fact that, however hard you try, at some stage in the match your mind wanders. What’s for supper? Any chance of a post match drink? What lovely trees over there ...

And BANG! That’s when it happens – the lbw appeal, the 50/50 offside decision that will swing the game. An instant decision is needed, yet your mind has drifted away.

I even got the final score wrong. 1-1 suddenly, to my fuddled brain, had become 2-0: thereby confirming teenage suspicions that anyone over 40 suffers from impending senility.

“But Sir, what about that goal Freddie scored in the first half?”

“Oh yes, I’d forgotten that. I meant 1-1, of course.”

Please don’t blame the ref: it’s not as simple as it looks from an armchair.

The author teaches English at a top independent boarding school @BoardingBeak.