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Moving to ATL is Liking Moving to the Land of Oz?

Atlanta, Georgia. The Black Gay Capital of the World. Black Hollywood. The former home of Freaknik’ 95. The current home of three losing sports teams(two new stadiums under construction with hopes of these eventually winning, side note) and where every black person can allegedly live the Black American Dream. The modern day land of Oz.

Each day, Dorothy(aka a runaway) escape from their hometown or current city and ease their ass on down the yellow brick road to the land of ATL with hopes of the Wiz(Mother Iyanla maybe) will solve whatever issue or problem they’re facing. Ole Wonderful Wiz, what are some of the issues Dorothy is running away from?

Man problems, homelessness, whoreness, racism, homophobia, dodging parole etc. Who the fuck really knows why Dorothy hopped on the Megabus or used her Spirit Airlines buddypass to reside in the wonderful city of Atlanta. All she knows, her troubles are about to be left behind in Detroit or Chicago.

Why ATL of all places? Why not is the real question. Thanks to the good and bad witches of Reality TV, the winged warriors of the music and movie industries, and every Scarecrow, Tinman, and Cowardly Lion allegedly living it up on Snapchat and Instagram, Atlanta is the ultimate Emerald City. Whether you aspire to become one of Future’s baby mothers or styling the Evil Witches of Love & Hip Hop, The Wiz of ATL will make your wish come true.

After arriving in Emerald City, Dorothy is bound to do at least one of four things to get noticed by the Wizzes and Witches of Atlanta. They are as follows:

-Rebranding herself with self-importance even if it’s not true. No longer just the average girl from a small town, she is a now a Celeb Fill in the Blank. Is she a celebrity stylist, celebrity assistant, celebrity fast food worker, etc? No ones knows what the fuck Dorothy does that makes her a celebrity anything. All we do know, Dorothy is the envy of her hometown because she’s a server at T.I’s restaurant or she helped Nene Leakes with her layaway at TJ Maxx. Better yet, Dorothy doesn’t work. She left her job in Detroit. She’s in Emerald City make a living from hustling waist trainers, bootleg Michael Kors bags, and cheaply made slut dresses from her poorly handled Instagram boutique.

–I’m here, I’m queer and getting use to it. In the case, Dorothy is black homosexual that makes bi-annual pilgrimages to pray and worship during Black Gay Pride and MLK Holiday Weekend festivals. ATL has offered Dorothy a place where he’s no longer a misfit. Is he a muscle bound butch queen that gives boy illusion or serving Prince/Miguel androgyny? Is Dorothy trade this quarter or is she Trans in Training? Dorothy doesn’t even know what he is. All he knows that ATL will let him suck dick without judgment because he had an “all the dick you can take marathon” during pride and now he doesn’t wanna go home. Let’s not forget the clubs and parties. Dorothy is finally free to deathdrop his heart out at the punkbar without bullied by the straight people. YASSS DOROTHY YASSS!!!!!!

–I’ll become a Sex Shooter. It’s a well known fact the Land of ATL is the home of the booty shaking money makers. It is also known for its infamous sex trafficking as well. However, Dorothy is unbothered. Dorothy has a dope as body and she’s not about to work for minimum wage. After all, her cousin is about to kick her off her couch because her dude was trying to fuck Dorothy on the on low. So Dorothy gets a job at the strip club or becomes an escort. She might get discovered and get put in a Rich Homie Quan video. Gay Dorothy ain’t trying to work either and he’s about to get put out of his friend’s house because he succeeded in fucking his homey’s dude on the low. Gay Dorothy has meat and cakes, so he strips and graduates to doing porn. Not as lucrative as Lady Dorothy, but Gay Dorothy can get all the free weed, coke, and molly his heart desires while getting drinking Ciroc in VIP at every punk club in the city.

-Going on a Job Hunt. Not all Dorothys come to the Land of ATL for quick fame and fortune. Dorothy just graduate with her Bachelor’s or Master’s and comes to ATL with the hopes of living the Black American Dream. Little does Dorothy know, the job market is ATL is limited. Been limited since the 2009 recession. Even with a degree, Dorothy will most likely work at a call center barely affording the rent in Emerald City. For every one company that moves to ATL, five companies are laying off. Dorothy finds herself competing with everyone for that job. Dorothy should’ve arrived with the other Dorothys who came to Oz before 2009.

Within six months, Dorothy begins to hate everything about ATL. By that time, the initial problem they were escaping from in their hometown has escalated or become worst. Keeping with up the munchkins have made them more broke, more strung out on drugs, or mentally ill. After all the bad luck, Dorothy realizes The Land of ATL is pretentious, shallow, and all an illusion. Disappointed, Dorothy takes her ass back to Detroit, South Carolina, or whatever place she came from without the ruby slippers.

What Dorothy failed to realize, like most of us, you can’t runaway from your issues. You have to address them before moving on with your life. Atlanta is an enjoyable place. However, most people that’s jaded by Atlanta didn’t come to the city with the right intentions and thought their problems were going away. They don’t realize this until their sitting traffic on I-285 for three hours or trying to hitch rides to the places Marta doesn’t go to. The reality for them: this city is overpopulated and not a good fit for me. Good place to visit but not a place to live.

What are some real reasons why people move to Atlanta? What was your reason for moving to ATL and did you accomplish your goal? Share your story below.