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Reservations Are Important

A restaurant host stands at a dais, looking at a reservation log. Jim walks up slowly.

JIM: Hello?

HOST: Good Evening sir, and welcome to The Dreamscape Lounge. I will be your host . . . .

JIM: . . . yes?

HOST: I’m sorry sir, but I usually draw my name from the sleeper’s subconscious, usually a parental figure, but your mind seems to be blank.

JIM: Well, I did get pretty stoned before I nodded off . . .

HOST: Ahhh. Yes. Well, in that case, we can move on to available seats.

JIM: What do you have open?

HOST: I’m afraid there’s not much left. We have . . . let’s see . . . we have three rooms available – Demonic clowns with chainsaws, Sleeping with your mother, and . . . hmmm, there’s not much elaboration on this one, all it says is WOLVES & FIRE.

JIM: (hesitating) Isn’t there anything else?

HOST: I’m afraid not sir.

JIM: No awesome dreams where I’m Luke Skywalker?

HOST: That dream ran out yesterday afternoon.

JIM: How about that one dream with me, Scarlet Johannson and a stick of butter?

HOST: A unique one, but Miss Johannson has been booked for a month.

JIM: How about . . . eating pizza?

HOST: I’m afraid the chef is on vacation.

JIM: Oh.

HOST: All that is left is what I have listed here. You really should have reserved a dream ahead of time sir.

JIM: I’ll try to remember that.

HOST: I would send you to the hole of blackness, to float aimlessly until you awake, but unfortunately the hole is on the fritz again. We’ve sent out a call to the technician, but he won’t be here until morning.

JIM: Blast.

HOST: So, sir . . . what will it be?

Jim ponders. He looks around to make sure no one is watching.

JIM: (quietly) Ahem – I’ll . . . I’ll have sex with my mother.

HOST: Yes. I would have chosen the wolves myself, but to each their own. (he sees Jim’s shame on his face) Don’t fret, sir. You would be surprised just how many people choose this option, so there is no worry to feel so ashamed. That is what dreamscapes are here for – to explore every option that is available to you. And besides, from what I have on file here, your mother is quite an attractive woman.

JIM: (quietly) Yes . . . yes she is . . .

HOST: (handing Jim a key) Here is your room key. There will complimentary mints waiting outside your door when you are finished, along with the Memory Erasing Pill and a glass of water if you would prefer to forget your visit to this establishment tonight.

JIM: Thank you.

HOST: My pleasure, sir. Have a wonderful evening, and I hope you will join us again soon here at The Dreamscape Lounge.

Jim walks into the restaurant, still looking around to make sure know one else has seen this transaction.