I have a long two months ahead of me, waking before dawn to
go to a job I hate. As the work week rolls around, I honest-to-God go through a day of true depression and utter dread at what I must face. Teach, manage, and control children in ways I hate. See
their joy diminish, their hatred for learning bloom, see their future crumble,
and their creativity and imagination- well, I don’t even see that anymore. See that I can do little to nothing to help them, inspire them. I try, but I cannot make the difference I want. I
hate it.

Standardized testing is coming up, so we are in full
test-prep crazy mode, and have a plethora of staff meetings and memos regarding
all the policies- cover your clocks, they could cheat off that, cover your
walls, separate desks, no bathroom breaks, all social media will be patrolled
by newly hired goons (my term) scouring the net for cheating or even mention of
the test. Forget to remove a poster, let a child talk, mumble “whew what a test”
to a co-worker, or not catch a child Facebooking “that test blew” and like an
episode of 24, ninjas with lasers will triangulate your location and the school
and YOU the teacher will be in deep you know what. Don’t let that happen,
staff.

I’m tired of “managing human capital” as the Common Core
Standards propose. I’m tired of A,B,C,D answers and no critical thinking. I’m
saddened that great literature is being tossed aside by big wig idiots with
power and title, dictating what I MUST do in my classroom when they have never
even met a single one of my students. They don’t know these children’s needs or
desires, their burdens and passions. All everyone sees is a top down,
prescriptive formula and some dollar signs at the sake of our children, our
future.

And I’m done. I can barely wait for school to let out, and
yet I’m terrified, as I don’t know what else to do with my life. I simply know I cannot tell another child “no”, “because you’re
tested on it” “because I have to”. I don’t
know what to do, but what I’m forced to do isn’t working. I can no longer be part of the problem and I don't know how to be part of the solution so I will just quietly exit when no one else is looking. And, trust me, it is not the easy way out.

Wish me luck as I leave everything I love and hate behind, as I embark in uncharted territory, a grown woman restarting her life and reclaiming her philosophy. Too bad the journey alone won't pay the bills but it will set me free.

I have been teaching for a long time now, and I have had good years and bad years. I don't like the changes I have seen, especially in the last five years or so, not just the testing, but also the change in the parents in terms of them not helping to hold their children to any standards. Good luck to you.

I wish you all of the happiness in the world as you move forward into a new and BETTER phase of life. Change can be scary, but when you are leaving something that is sucking the joy from your life it can only get better!

Wow, this struck a chord with me. I had the choice to become an educator and chose a different path. Even while student teaching, I could tell that it is not what would fulfill me and I believe strongly that teachers need to truly love what they do. I am so sorry that you have fallen out of love with it, and I wish you so much luck with your new beginning. Set yourself free and be happy. You deserve it.

Standardized testing is probably the biggest part of the problem. Especially when funding is tied to the results. So much time and effort gets put into making sure the students pass the standardized testing and yet I have a very bright young man that did not know the months of the year in their correct order until he was 12. I also have another young man who struggled all through school because there was no funding to give him the help he needed. Every teacher knows which students need help and doesn't rely on a standardized test to tell them so abolish the testing and use the money to provide resources to teachers.

Sorry for going all ranty on your blog but I've got two that have been failed. Not by their teachers, but by the education "system".

When I retired from the Navy my plan was to teach high school physics. I completed all the course work for my teaching credential over a year ago. I kept postponing my student teaching and just a couple of weeks ago I told National University that I had no plans to do student teaching in the foreseeable future. Why? For all the reasons you cited plus a few more.

As a mother of a young child just entering the public school system, your post scares me. I suspect it's how so many educators feel and to lose all the ones who care because teaching becomes something other than what it should be frightens me. You addressed this so well. Good luck to you.

That is so hard. Having experienced some of the education world, it really is a broken system and I have no idea what the answer is to fix it! Glad you can get out from under it and hope you can find something else fulfilling and new.

I always felt like quitting at the end of every year. When you have so many years under your belt, you don't get the end of the year blues. I don't know how long you been at it. Plus, there are greener pastures. Reconsider your blues, part of teaching is walking in your classroom. closing the door to all the baloney and being the teacher to a group of kids that deserve the best. Politicians like standardized tests because it is an easy answer to a complex problem. I sat in a teacher's competency test in Atlanta GA where we were watched taking the test and were guarded by Wells Fargo guards. I got an almost perfect score. Take care.

Oh this resonates with me. I can relate as a parent who took her kids out of this very system almost 5 years ago. It was uncharted territory for me then, but we've been a homeschool family ever since. You're very brave to take a stand.

I have always thought the education system based on standardized testing which bases a child's worth solely on the number on the top of a piece of paper was flawed but it just seems to be getting worse.

SMH, you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm sure you'll find another way to help and inspire young ones.

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About Me

True story...in kindergarten, I rolled with a Harley driving biker gang that invaded and made a campground their territory, and I got to wear a pink bandana as my "colors". I was raised by hippy intellectual parents who were artists and watched PBS, leading me to believe a degree in sociology would make millions because there were sociologists on tv...I mean, movie stars are millionaires, right? And in college, I got to hold a real mummy's hand, so goths can suck it cause have they caressed the hand of a n Egyptian mummy, the ultimate dead?
Oh and I am a mom who is kinda "crunchy granola". I bathe, use bottled soap, give my kid soda, and use disposable diapers But yeah...I breastfeed, make my own organic baby food, and drive a freakin subaru.