Hope through the dark places

A Non-Anniversary

Last week marked my ninth non-wedding anniversary. It would have been my 49th anniversary, had my husband lived.

On the 4th of August, while I pulled the pesky weeds from the grass over Bill’s grave, I said to myself, “I’ve loved this man for fifty years. How can that be? That’s a lifetime.”

In the evening, I took out the anniversary cards he’d given me over the years. I’ve saved only six. I wish I had more. But then, they were enough…enough in his stick drawings of the two of us together walking under sunshine, along with his handwritten notes…for it to hit me once again, how much he must have loved me. Me. In spite of my flaws and frailties.

4 Responses

Sandi, I just read your article Crossing the Finish Line, in the In Touch magazine. Thank you so much. I never had anyone put into words like you did how I felt when I lost my John in 2004. I too walked with my John thru tremendous suffering and pain, and he was a saint, rarely complaining, always trusting Jesus. I know I will be with him someday, but it is the now I still struggle with. You put into words a lot of my feelings. Yes, I struggle, but God is faithful, and will remain faithful. My daughter and grandsons are such a blessing. Thank you again for your article. God bless you

"Words of wisdom from those who have had to walk through grief: be gracious/patient/forgiving when we forget appointments, change our minds at the last minute, don't return phone calls, act a lil' crazy."
Kelly Schleyer Powers

"You do not work through bereavement. It works through you."
Virginia Ironside,
'You'll Get Over It'-The Rage of Bereavement

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."
Washington Irving

"I wish you would've told me," she said, "that losing you would be like losing my life."
...taken from author, Mary De Muth's novel, The Muir House.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Psalm 147:3

"In a world rocky with human failure, there is a land lush with divine mercy. Your Shepherd invites you there. He wants you to lie down. Nestle deeply until you are hidden, buried, in the tall shoots of his love, and there you will find rest."
...Max Lucado,Traveling Light