i know i haven't been updating here nearly as much as i should be, and i'm sorry.

if you'd still like to know what's going on in my life, i post (pretty sporadically, but more frequently) on tumblr here:

http://robertmapplethorpes.tumblr.com/

i'll hopefully be back sometime soon but i'm taking a minor break from this blog. i'm in california visiting my dad right now (which is really fun!) and posting here just isn't at the top of my list of priorities. i do miss it though and i'm still keeping up on everyone's post through my reader, so don't worry!

i was inspired to write this post both because i haven't written anything on here in too long and because of this post on buzzfeed shift about the 'fake geek girl' meme.

first of all, let me just get this out of the way: being a woman is a disadvantage in this world. but it's not the greatest disadvantage. there are a million factors that could make someone worse off even just in this city. i am upper-middle-class, i am white, i am relatively thin, i am relatively healthy. i have it really good. i know that.

but being a girl, or someone who is perceived as a girl, and trying to join the 'boys club' that is geekery--it's difficult. men have had this whole disenfranchised thing down for years. if you're a guy and you'd rather play dungeons and dragons than go to a party, you might get made fun of, but that's an acceptable choice. if you're a girl and would rather play dungeons and dragons than go to a party, what the fuck is wrong with you?

it's bad in the gaming world--this blog , entitled fat, ugly, or slutty, illustrates that well. if you're a girl that plays games, it's because you're fat or ugly--meaning men want nothing to do with you, so you have nothing better to do with your time--or you're slutty, meaning you're only playing these games to get attention from men. why?

john green, who i don't know a ton about but who seems like a really great guy, has said “…because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff… Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can’t-control-yourself love it. Hank, when people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is ‘you like stuff.’ Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, ‘you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness’.”

this is one of my favourite quotes about anything, because it's correct. it's so true. i get so excited about things like supernatural and lord of the rings and the general awesomeness of stuff and that's what makes me happy. i love watchmen, i love sherlock holmes, i love neil gaiman. and yet when i post my watchmen tattoo on reddit, i get accused of being an attention whore. men who post similar tattoos? none of that. when i talk about how really really cute kili is in the hobbit

(and he is really really cute)

it's assumed that that's why i liked the movie, because wow there's a hot guy in it stop the presses

when i know things about things, people are shocked. maybe it's my hair, maybe it's my voice (being raised by a californian has left me with a bit of a valley girl accent sometimes), but for the most part i'm fairly sure it's because i'm a girl. i can't enjoy these things, i can't understand them to the fullest extent, because of my genitalia.

I'M SORRY BATMAN I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY BOOBS

anyway, it's like seven in the morning and i've been up for two hours because i'm anxious so i thought i'd just spit this out and it probably doesn't make sense and i might edit it heavily later but yeah i hope you guys are all doing well and had a great new year!!