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A Blonde came home one day from work and found her boyfriend in bed with another woman. She was so devastated that she grabbed the gun out of the dresser drawer and put it up to her head threatening to commit suicide.

The boyfriend in shock screams, "No honey don't do it, I am so sorry!" Then the blonde says, "Shut up! You're next!"

Since we're at the end of the presidential campaign, I figured some political humor might be in store.

The following is a funny and true story shared with me by KC Williams who teaches AP Government at Santa Fe High School . In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States . It was pretty simple.

The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating ...

"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by c-section?"

A pretty blonde decided to make some money by doing odd jobs for folks.

She stopped at this nice yellow house in the country and asked the man answering the door if he had any work to do around his place. The man replied "Actually I would like a new coat of paint on my porch. How much will you charge for that?" She said $50. He told her the yellow paint and all brushes were on the side of the house.

Later the blonde comes back to the door and tells the man she is finished and said that she had paint left over so she gave it a second coat. He paid her the $50. Before leaving she said "By the way, it's not a Porsche, it's a Mercedes".

A blonde and her husband are lying in bedlistening to the next door neighbor’s dog.The dog has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, 'I've had enough of this'

She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, 'The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?'

The blonde says, 'I've put the dog in our backyard, let's see how they like it.'

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.

''NO!'' yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again .

''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.

''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde.

Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''

The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife pi cked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

SECOND DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

THIRD DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy , it's W.'

FOURTH DEGREE Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? A: 'Is it mine?'

FIFTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'

SIXTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman !'

Three pregnant women are sitting in the lobby at the OB-GYN's office, waiting for their appointments. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They start talking to each other and the conversation turns to the gender of their unborn children.

The brunette says, "I'm going to have a girl, because I was on the bottom."The redhead says, "I'm going to have a boy, because I was on top."The blonde thinks for a minute and then breaks out crying and sobbing.The brunette says to her , "Honey, what's wrong?"The blonde screams out, still sobbing, "I'm going to have puppies!!!"

These 2 Blondes walk into a bar.........kinda silly ,huh?? After the first one did it,you would've thought the second one would've noticed.... *******************************************************A Blonde woman got a job at a clothing store. A woman shopper came up to her to ask for assistance,and the Blonde said,"Can you help me?" :D ******************************************************What do you call a Blonde with half a brain?? Gifted!