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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Hate Mail O' The Week

Oh, it’s always funny when I post about that racist scumbag Al Sharpton. And it’s not because he is such a fat, lazy, slovenly easy target, either. It’s because his supporters come out of the woodwork – and the unemployment lines – to spread some of that “Hope and change” my way.

This piece of literary brilliance comes from regular reader “Marlene,” who has been reading this blog for about all of five minutes. In that time, she has formed enough of an opinion about me that she feels comfortable taking the pork rinds out of her mouth to have someone intelligent send off a comment. Here is her dimwitted (unedited) attack:

6:05pm – TYPICAL OF VOLUNTEER SLAVES, EASILY THREATENED BY BLACK ASSERTION. Take heed new world order puppies, you like sheep, came as all the volunteer slaves of America, to think you could live a wholesome life in spite of God’s wrath of infringement for 400 years against Blacks in involuntary servitude. YOU STEPPED FOR SATAN ON 35 DECADES ON BLACKS WHO BUILT AMERICA, FOR YOUR AMERICAN DREAM. In the end you will find out all you own is your legacy of VOLUNTEERING FOR SLAVERY. BECAUSE YOUR HOUSES YOUR LOOSING WAS NEVER YOURS. HOW COULD IT BE?cause someone told you 400 years of slavery force didn’t matter? SEE YOU ARE THE VOLUNTEER SLAVES, THE PUPPETS AND SIMPLES OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER. You still worry about Blacks, when Hispanics are shitting on your land, suing you left and right, and raping and killing, and burrying pregnant White women. ie. chandra levy. KEEP ON WITH YOUR IGNORANCE, IT WILL HURT YOUR CHILDREN THE MOST. IF YOU HAD ANY SENSE YOU would stand with Al Sharpton against BIG MEDIA, RUNNING YOURS LIVES.

Wow, Marlene is obviously the second coming of David McCullough. (He’s a writer, Marlene. I doubt you read anything that isn’t penned by Jeremiah Wright . . . and written in crayon.) Undeterred by the spam feature – set up for ignorant people with atrocious grammar – Marlene fires a second volley across my bow:

6:10pm – YOU ACCEPTED SLAVERY AS THE NORM, AND NOW YOU ARE THE SLAVES, THE WHORE, THE LENDER, THE GREASERS, THE WEASLES OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER

Word up, G-Money! Should I tell her she misspelled “Weasels,” and has problems with plurality? Nah, probably not. I would hate for Marlene to get a migraine and blame it on me, The White Devil. We continue:

VOLUNTEER SLAVES, AND INVOLUNTEER SLAVES ARE THE ONLY KIND OF PEOPLE IN AMERICA. AND ONLY BLACKS ARE WRITTEN IN HISTORY AS THE INVOLUNTEER SLAVES.

SO AL SHARPTON IS STILL LIVING THAT HISTORY. WHEN ARE YOU VOLUNTEER SLAVES GOING TO CATCH UP AND FIGHT THE MEDIA MONOPOLY

Wow. Hey Marlene, spell check comes free with most computers now. All you have to do is push a button. You can do that, can’t you, Marlene? Surely you have opposable thumbs. Eh, maybe not.

6:36pm – Typical volunteer slaves, threatened by Black Assertion/

two kinds of Americans volunteer slaves, and involunteer slaves. Blacks are the only one written in history and by Supreme court law as involunteer slaves. All the rest of you are volunteer slaves for the New world Order, that is why you approved an American dream built from 400 years of involuntary servitude, at that moment you approved of slavery and became volunteer slaves. that is why you are too ignant to fight like an Involuntary Slave, like Al sharpton against media monopolies, that will soon take the internet from all the fuzzmouth volunteer slave widgets, who sold the world out. Blacks was here before the Indians, before, the whites, before the mexicans, before the constitution. The first President was Black John hanson, President under the Articles of Confederation. Blacks called the Olmecs was in Americas before the transatlantic slave trade. All your freedoms, like the 2nd amendment to be argued have to be traced back to Black males after the Civil war.
Al Sharpton, makes all of you volunteer slaves jealous and hateful, symptoms of volunteer slaves.

The best part of this entry? She actually spells “ignorant” as “ignant.” She must have sounded it out by remembering the scene from Trading Places: “Yeah, the phone in his limo was busted. What are ya, ignant?” Priceless. We move on . . .

6:38pm – Ha ha scared of the truth you weasle, that is why the internet will be taken down. just like you stop free speech from me, your free speech will be stopped

Again with the “weasle?” Looks like you can’t teach an old welfare mom new tricks – although I am sure Marlene has turned a few on the streets of Boston. Her ip address tracks from there.

Look, I could go on and on – since I am sure this broad will never stop commenting – but one can only take so much comedy in one day. I would post more of Marlene’s rants, but I already volunteered to be a slave tonight for the New World Order. Thank you, Marlene. Truly. Your correspondence will keep people laughing with at you for months and months to come.

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About Me

Sarcastic lawdog, conservative blogger, destroyer of trolls, and co-author of the crime novel, Only Son. Once literally carried Miss America 1991 from an auto wreck, and I have an Urban Dictionary listing named after me.