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I didn't like it, so sue me: The worst of OLTL 2013:
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Tina was in Llanfair's kitchen when Roxy breezed in and introduced herself to Tina. It wasn't long before the two women began trading stories about their past misdeeds. As they talked about all of the things that they had done wrong, Tina and Roxy appeared to forge a friendship.

At Llanfair, Bo expressed his concern for Jessica. Tess was annoyed when she learned that Bo's worry stemmed from a recent conversation with John. However, Tess managed to calm Bo's fears without raising his suspicions. After Bo left, Tess and Leo, her contractor, went to inspect his work on a secret room.

Tess was satisfied with what she saw in the basement. Leo had built a cozy room, which was fully furnished and was completely soundproof. A flat-screen television was mounted on one wall. The television was hooked up to various security cameras, located throughout the house. The opposite wall consisted mainly of glass and had a security door. The lock on the door was digital and would only open the door when a code was keyed in.

Unfortunately, Tina's dog, David Vickers, followed Tess down to the basement. When Tina went in search of her pooch, she found more than David Vickers. Tina stumbled upon Tess and Leo as they were talking about the secret room. Tess appeared less than pleased to see her aunt.

John was at the police station studying a picture that was captured by a security camera on the day of Ramsey's murder. The picture showed a blurry image of a woman being wheeled out of Ramsey's apartment shortly after his death. John arranged for Fish to clean up the image in the hopes of identifying the woman in the photograph.

In Marty's bedroom, Todd made the startling announcement that Starr had decided to give her baby to Todd to raise. Marty believed every word that Todd said as he spun his tale. In Todd's version, Starr realized that Marcie was an unfit parent. Starr then decided that the best home for her baby would be with Todd. Marty was happy for Todd and suggested that she might make new living arrangements.

Marcie was at the hospital, for a childbirth class with Starr, when she ran into Michael. Michael was happy for Marcie but he made it clear that he did not want to have any part in Marcie's life if she continued with her plans to adopt Todd's grandchild. Michael felt that Marcie was in denial about the threat that Todd posed. Marcie was disappointed by Michael's reluctance to compromise. She did try to reach out to Michael, though. Marcie invited Michael to the childbirth class before she walked away.

Starr felt uncomfortable, being a teenager among adult couples, in the childbirth class. She told Blair that she felt like a walking example of an irresponsible teen. She was also embarrassed that Cole was not with her. Blair reminded Starr that the class was about the baby and what Starr could expect from childbirth. Blair advised Starr to focus on that and not worry about what others were thinking. Marcie soon joined them and the three sat down for the class. In the hallway, Michael kept himself hidden as he peeked through the window to watch the class.

In Llanfair's basement, Tina stumbled across Tess and Leo as they looked over the newly constructed secret room. Tess was furious to have been discovered by her aunt. She ordered Leo to leave and then focused her attention on Tina. Tess lied and told Tina that she had ordered the room to be built as a surprise for Tina. Tina was less than thrilled with the gift. The odd location of the room, hidden door, and glass wall, made Tina feel uncomfortable. It reminded Tina of another secret room in the basement, years earlier, where Viki's altershad keep Dorian imprisoned. As Tina spoke about the history of the other basement room, she began to realize the similarities between Viki's behavior then and Jessica's behavior. Tina soon correctly surmised that Tess had returned and was in control. Tess was forced to act quickly. To Tina's horror, Tess outmaneuvered her aunt and managed to lock Tina in the secret room.

Blair, Marcie, and Starr were attending a childbirth class at the hospital. As the class began, Starr looked around and noticed that Todd was standing outside the room, looking in. Moments later, Todd strolled in and interrupted the class. He asked for the opportunity to speak to his daughter so that he could apologize. The instructor agreed to a five-minute break and walked away. Todd was contrite as he began his apology. He said all of the things that Starr wanted to hear. Todd even complimented Marcie, saying that he thought she would be a wonderful mother to his grandchild. Starr had tears in her eyes as her father finished. Blair and Marcie were skeptical of Todd's sincerity. Blair questioned Todd's sudden turnaround. Todd credited his new psychologist, claiming that she had helped him realize the error of his ways. After Todd left, Blair cautioned Starr not to believe a word that Todd had said.

At the police station, Fish worked on the picture of the mystery woman that John had given him. John also pulled out the woman's x-rays and handed them to Fish. Fish felt that they would help him with his endeavors. While John waited for Fish to work his magic, he received a phone call. It was Blair, calling to invite John to Capricorns for drinks. John apologized and said that he was busy with work. Blair was disappointed but understanding. After John ended the call, Fish urged John to change his mind about the date. Fish felt that he would accomplish more without John hovering over his shoulder.

At Todd's house, Marty was in her bedroom chatting with her nurse, Janet. Marty was frustrated because she could easily answer questions on a crossword puzzle, but she couldn't remember anything about her past. Hoping to distract Marty, Janet suggested doing physical therapy. Janet was surprised when Marty suggested learning something useful, like changing diapers, instead. She asked Marty how far things had progressed between Marty and Todd. Marty became embarrassed when she realized that Janet was subtly asking if Marty had sex with Todd. Marty rushed to reassure the nurse that she had not been intimate with Todd. Marty went on to explain that the reason she instruction in diaper changing was because Todd had just learned that he would be raising his grandchild. She also told Janet that Todd had asked Marty to help him raise the baby.

Janet cautioned Marty about rushing into a commitment with Todd. When Marty didn't seem concerned about the idea, Janet was prompted to ask Marty how she felt about Todd. Marty confessed that she was attracted to Todd and she considered him to be her only family. As Marty talked, it was clear that she thought the world of Todd and was grateful for all that he had done for her. Janet admitted that Todd was sexy and he seemed to have a crush on Marty. Marty blushed at the idea and smiled. Moments later, Todd walked into the room.

After Janet left, Todd asked Marty if she had given his proposal any consideration and reached a decision. Before Marty could respond, Todd's cell phone rang. It was Tess. Tess demanded to see Todd immediately. Behind Tess, Tina was seen pounding against the glass window of the secret room and demanding to be released.

At LaBoulaie, Langston wanted to know the real reason for Cole's visit. She pointed out that it was a time of day when Starr was usually at home. Cole admitted that he had hoped to see Starr. He told Langston about the incident at the country club, when Karen had discovered that Starr was pregnant. Cole confessed that he had ditched Starr to join Karen for a swim. Worse, Cole also tried to "hook up" with Karen. Langston was furious that Cole would be attracted to someone who had deliberately hurt Starr. Cole regretted his actions and wanted to apologize to Starr. Langston considered that a sign of Cole's continued affections for Starr. She urged Cole to forgive Starr and work things out, but Cole refused.

When Starr returned home, Langston quickly disappeared. Starr seemed delighted to see Cole and tried to talk to him. She soon grew disappointed when Cole mumbled his excuses and rushed out the door.

At an airport, presumably in Texas, several Llanview residents gathered for their respective flights. Gigi and Rex couldn't wait to get back to their home, though Gigi was still wondering exactly how she would tell Shane that Rex was his real dad. Jared was waiting for a connecting flight to South America, so that he could do some work for Clint. Waiting for the next portion of their flight on their long way home from Mendorra, were Antonio, Talia, Sarah, and Cris. "Sex Scandal Rocks Mendorra" was the headline in the New York newspaper that Cris picked up and showed his companions. Chuckling at the picture of Carlo and Jonas in bed together, the Mendorran group wondered what had become of the men.

In Llanview, the local newspaper's headline, "The King is a Queen?" gave Nora some laughs, but her smiles disappeared abruptly when Natalie arrived to tell off her father. She filled Nora in on Jared's whereabouts and how he was doing some dirty work for Clint by going after a teenager. Clint quickly came to his own defense, citing his desire to merely return the family company into the hands of the Buchanans. Natalie felt that she could empathize deeply with Langston's finding a new family to be with and her fear of losing them, and made it clear that she was not happy with Clint's methods. She called her dad a hypocrite and accused him of being worse than Jared, who never intended to hurt anyone in his scheme to be a Buchanan.

An angry Clint felt there was no comparison and felt sure that Langston would remain with Dorian. He emphasized that he only wanted his company back. A concerned Natalie wondered what would happen if things didn't go according to plan. Clint insisted he wasn't troubled by any of his moves at all. Natalie wondered why he had kept Nora in the dark if that were truly the case. She wondered who was doing all of this, as it certainly wasn't her father. She stormed out.

Michael and John met up at Capricorn, with John mentioning that he was waiting for something at the station and had some time to kill. Watching his brother's interaction with Blair, Michael realized that they were more than friends. He was happy for John and hoped that he wasn't still working on the identity of the mystery woman. John admitted that he was, and Michael only hoped that she didn't come between John and Blair.

As Todd and Marty started to have their long-anticipated chat, Todd received a call from Tess, demanding that he show up at Llanfair. She threatened to talk to John about Marty if he didn't. Claiming to have a problem at the newspaper, Todd told Marty they'd talk again. After Todd left, Marty decided to freshen up, asking Janet to apply some makeup and to help her into the gown that Todd had purchased for her.

As Tina banged and pleaded to be let out of the secret room, Tess advised her that she, Tess, was nothing like Jessica, and Jessica was dead. She turned off the sound to the room and further advised Tina that no one would know she was there.

As Rex and Gigi shared a kiss, the crew from Mendorra looked on in astonishment. Approached by Antonio and Cris, Rex asked Gigi to call Shane. The perturbed Vega brothers demanded to know what was going on, reminding Rex that he was married. Rex advised them that it was over, though Cris pointed out that he was sure Adriana didn't know about it. Rex stopped Cris from placing a call to her and asked that he be allowed to tell her the news himself. A seemingly more understanding Antonio ordered him to take care of it quickly without causing any embarrassment to his sister. Rex understood that they were only being protective.

As John and Blair flirted with each other, Michael pulled up a seat next to Layla, informing her of his separation from Marcie. He confided that he was sure Todd would break Marcie's heart again. Layla was shocked, noting that everyone wanted a perfect relationship like the McBains. John heard about Todd showing up at Starr's childbirth class and he and Blair wondered what Todd's agenda was. They agreed they didn't believe his apologies.

Todd arrived at Llanfair where Tess told him that Tina was a problem. Tess informed him that Tina knew she was really Tess, not Jessica. Todd insisted that he would not take Tina in, no matter what Tess threatened to do to him. Todd wondered if Tess had killed her. Tess asked for help, insisting that she didn't want to kill her aunt. Todd's best suggestion was to find something to use as leverage against Tina. When Tess pooh-poohed that idea, Todd pointed out how remarkably it had worked for him. He reminded her that he could hurt her as much as she could hurt him.

Sarah spotted Jared, who informed her that he was doing a job for Clint. He remained close-mouthed, merely stating that he was all about getting the family company back. She thought that maybe she would even like him again if he did that.

As Layla was drinking tequila shots to drown her sorrow over Vincent, Michael joined her, even though they agreed they didn't feel better. Layla persuaded Michael to dance with her. Blair sang and dedicated her song to John. She promised him an encore later.

Clint reminded Nora that Dorian was the bad guy and he was just using Langston for leverage. Nora was more upset that she had not been confided in on more than occasion. He asked if she would have approved, and suggested that they would have just argued about everything. As Nora contemplated what her next move should be, Clint pointed out the confidentiality rule. A distressed Nora reminded him that she was not his lawyer, but a friend. She actually thought they were headed to being partners. She thought it best that one of them leave, and remembered that the house was hers. Clint snarled that he had no problem with being the one to move out. Later, Clint stopped for a drink at Capricorn and ran into his old girlfriend, Dallas.

At the airport, Cris learned that the group's departing flight only had three seats left. He offered to be the one to remain behind.

Thinking about what she could use for leverage against Tina, Tess recalled Tina's reaction when she had been caught at the safe. What a surprise Tess found when she managed to get the safe open. Spilling the jewels into her hand, Tess was gleeful. Then Natalie arrived home. "What are you doing in the safe?" she asked her sister. Down in the basement, Tina vowed to beat Tess at her own game.

Arriving home to a strikingly different looking Marty, Todd remarked on her appearance. She advised him that she thought she might feel better if she looked better. She also gave him an answer to his proposal. She agreed to help him raise his grandchild, citing her excitement at the prospect of a baby being around the house.

Working at the police station on John's mystery woman image, Fish called the detective and advised him he wouldn't have anything for him before the morning. John told Blair he had the rest of the evening free.

As Cris bade Sarah farewell, an airport employee approached him. Due to a cancellation on another flight, they had room for him a bit earlier than originally thought. As Cris accompanied the gentleman, he was accosted and dragged away.

At Llanfair, Natalie caught Tess with her hand in the family safe. Natalie recognized the stones as the missing Mendorran crown jewels. Tess pretended to have no knowledge of the jewels and quickly surmised that Aunt Tina was the culprit. Upon discovering the jewels, Nat was adamant about contacting the police, but a stern Tess argued with her sister about turning the stones over to the authorities. Unable to persuade Nat, Tess faked a dizzy spell and asked Nat to prepare her a cup of tea for her nerves. Once Nat left the room, Tess placed the jewels back inside the safe and removed a vial, containing a powdered substance, from her pocket. With a devilish smile, Tess held the vial and exclaimed, "Nighty-night, Nat!"

When Nat returned to the library with the tea, Tess poured two cups of tea and plotted how she would place the drug into Nat's drink. Tess's prayers were answered when Nat received a call from Jared. While Nat was distracted by the call, Tess quickly sprinkled the powder into her sister's teacup. As she drank the tea, Nat thanked Tess for her forgiveness and ranted about their father placing Jared in harm's way. Insisting that Nat drink up, Tess smiled as she observed the drug appearing to have an effect on Nat.

At Llanview Airport, Sarah, Talia, and Antonio were relieved to be back in town. As they headed back to Sarah and Talia's apartment, Antonio asked Sarah when Cris's flight was due to arrive. Sarah stated that Cris didn't give her an arrival time-he said that he would be on the next available flight.

As Rex and Gigi prepared to exit the Llanview Airport, Rex was excited about reuniting with Shane, but Gigi feared telling the child the truth about his paternity. Gigi blamed herself for lying to Shane, but Rex reminded her that she was a good mother and did what she felt was best. Rex suggested that Gigi kick Brody out of the cottage, but Gigi insisted that Shane would never forgive her for mistreating Brody. As Rex and Gigi embraced, their tender moment was interrupted by Shane and Brody, who had come to welcome Gigi back home. Although happy to see Shane, Rex appeared perturbed by Brody's interference. Shane wasn't pleased by Rex's presence and inquired why his mother needed to leave town to search for Rex. To Rex's displeasure, Shane continued to boast about the wonderful time he had spent with his dad. When Gigi told Shane that Rex would accompany them home, both Shane and Brody appeared aggravated. Attempting to distract Shane, Gigi sent him on an errand. Gigi informed Brody that Rex knew the truth about Shane's paternity.

Back at the cottage, Shane expressed his displeasure over Rex impeding on his time with Gigi and Brody. An excited Shane told his mother that he and Brody had a surprise for her. Brody advised Shane to save the surprise for later. When Gigi asked Shane to leave the room so that the adults could talk, he lost his temper. Screaming, Shane told Gigi that she could never take Brody away from him because they had taken a paternity test while she was away-the test proved Brody was Shane's father. Upon hearing the news, Gigi and Rex were outraged. Gigi sent Shane outside and immediately lashed out at Brody. Initially, Rex was suspicious that the test proved Brody was the father, but Gigi assured him that she had never slept with Brody and he must have altered the results.

A smug Rex informed Brody that his services were no longer needed. Rex said that he and Gigi were a couple and had plans to raise their son together. Unwilling to lose Shane, Brody tried to undermine Rex by telling him that Gigi spoke negatively about him during her pregnancy and resented him running out on her. Expecting Shane to return, Brody goaded Rex into a fight. Brody referred to Rex as a deadbeat and stated that Gigi never attempted to find him. Unable to take Brody's jabs any longer, Rex punched him as Shane entered the room. Running to his father's aid, Shane looked up at Rex and yelled, "You hit my father!" A frustrated Rex yelled back, "He's not your father!" Puzzled, the child stared at Rex.

At Capricorn, Blair and John flirted over drinks. Meanwhile, Layla had convinced Mike to dance with her. As Mike and Layla enjoyed themselves on the dance floor, Marcie entered the club. Blair attempted to divert Marcie's attention from Mike and Layla, but it was too late. When Mike noticed Marcie, he tried to make peace with her, but Marcie was upset and walked away. Layla apologized for causing any trouble and left the club. Across the room, Clint and Dallas shared a drink at the bar. Upset by his argument with Nora, Clint wasn't in a good mood. Anxious to learn what the argument was about, Dallas urged Clint to give her the details.

While Blair and Marcie talked at a table, Mike and John drank beers nearby. Staring at Mike, Marcie confided in Blair that it hurt her to realize that Mike would eventually start to date again. Understanding Marcie's feelings, Blair mentioned her insecurity over finding the gown that Todd had bought for another woman. Unable to keep her eyes off of John, Blair admitted to Marcie that she and John were involved. Marcie envied Blair's romance with John.

Mike approached an upset Marcie and tried to explain his innocent friendship with Layla. The discussion turned to the fact that Marcie wanted to raise Todd's grandchild and that Mike could never accept her decision. Observing Mike and Marcie, Blair commented to John how complicated the couple's relationship was. Blair stated that she was happy that her situation with John was uncomplicated. John replied, "That's how I like it."

After Clint explained the situation between him and Nora, Dallas criticized Nora's actions and reminded Clint of the past she shared with him. Clint was adamant that he wanted to continue his relationship with Nora. Clint defended Nora and wondered if he had gone too far. Dallas insisted that Nora was unreasonable. Dallas asked Clint to consider rekindling their relationship.

At the girls' apartment, Sarah, Talia, and Antonio were excited to be home again. Talia thanked Antonio and Sarah for bringing her back home and expressed her guilt over being untruthful about her father. Sarah and Antonio wouldn't allow her to blame herself for Carlo's actions. When Layla arrived home, the roommates enjoyed time together. Realizing that Antonio and Talia wanted to be alone, Layla and Sarah obliged. Layla went to bed and Sarah decided to visit her mother at Llanfair. Alone, Antonio and Talia made love.

Inside John's locked office at the police station, a clear image of Marty appeared on the computer.

At Todd's home, Todd spent time with Marty in her bedroom. Todd and Marty discussed the arrival of Todd's grandchild. Marty was uncertain that she would be able to take on the responsibility, but Todd was convinced that she would be well enough to care for the child in a few months. Hoping to assure Marty that she was on the road to recovery, Todd suggested that she try to walk for the first time. With Marty holding onto him, Todd gently helped her stand and take several steps across the room. Pleased with her progress, Marty thanked Todd for his help. The two shared a passionate kiss.

Back at Llanfair, a gleeful Tess watched as Nat succumbed to the drug. As Nat fell off into a deep sleep, a devious Tess remarked, "Sleep tight sucker!" Sarah appeared and interrupted Tess's moment. A nervous Tess was at a loss for words when Sarah asked for her mother.