It's been a long day. First, I want to again thank everyone for their love, support, and advice. I wasn't able to answer everyone but know I tried to read all of them. Thank you.

So, this morning ended up being a meeting with my boss. Now, yesterday I was given a run down of how she made a complaint of interrupting her work day and not being told important information. She did have an 'example' but it was very stupid one.

Co-worker when she was at my desk had apparently been staring at my screen. She saw that the usual application to log data we use wasn't up and went straight to assuming I wasn't working. What she didn't know is me and two other senior employees were using a new application that we will be switching over to and was running on that application (with the old one minimized) she then came back to ask about lunch and saw 'I still didn't have the application up' and went running to boss to tell him I wasn't on the application and I wasn't working, making it hard for her as she had to pick up the slack.

My boss calmly assured her that I was working on a different application and all productivity is monitored (I get my shit done) she then, not wanting to be wrong I guess, doubled down and was upset I hadn't communicated that to her. I didn't even know. My boss asked her to elaborate on that and she brought up the application again and I guess they talked in circles for a bit. He let her know that he takes these matters seriously and asked her for any examples of me not communicating. She had nothing.

When I spoke to my boss, at this point I was upset. I finally just told him what happened and explained what happened yesterday. He was not pleased. He did let me know I don't have to explain myself and that next time if I'm in that situation to go straight to him. He offered his condolences for my loss.

As for her, she is no longer allowed to speak to me. Anything work related must be done through the messenger we have or email. Though, he assured me that as we are working on different applications, she shouldn't be reaching out to me. She has a laundry list of people to ask before me. He told me to document everything. Anything she does say document it for the time being and be as curt as possible.

Today, she hasn't been around me. She even moved her monitor and keyboard so she's facing away from me. She hasn't said a word all day. It's been a wave of relief for me.

TLDR: coworker tried to report me for something stupid, it didn't work. She is now not allowed to speak to me.

Update: Wow, my first gilding! I'm very touched. Again, the warm wishes and all the condolences are touching. I never thought my thread would get this much attention. I also wanted to give out my condolences and internet hugs to everyone who has shared their stories and loses as well. It truly helped me to not feel so alone. I'm sorry for anyone who had to or has to go through a miscarriage. It's a scary thing and a very weird and sudden feeling of loss and empty feeling. I hope its gotten or it will get better from here. Thank you.

It's been a long day. First, I want to again thank everyone for their love, support, and advice. I wasn't able to answer everyone but know I tried to read all of them. Thank you.

Tbh the last thing any decent manager wants is to have an employee being an immature tattle tale and dumping more BS problems to deal with on his plate. Especially in this case where productivity can be monitored with whatever app they use for data entry / analysis. Further, it’s common office etiquette to first try solving a problem yourself or bring solutions to your boss if there is a real problem, and this woman did none of that, she just tried to terrorize OP. If this woman wasn’t on boss’s shit list before, she definitely is now.

Good boss! Women like her will often belly crawl through glass to maintain a moral high ground in their mind and in the eyes of others, humility isn’t an easily learned trait and she may feel as if you got her in trouble just to gain that upper hand. Obviously you just want to be left alone. Never let her negativity into your heart, never assume the worst, but also never let your guard down around her. She is clearly watching you!

Sounds like the boss knows exactly what she’s like and has been looking for a way to get rid of her for a while the way they jumped on OP to keep records and come to them straight away with any new issues...

I’m sorry the situation had escalated all the way up to your boss. That couldn’t have been an easy conversation to have about such a private matter. I’m happy though that she’s finally leaving you alone, and I hope you can move forward in peace at your job again.

My husband went to work (Army) during my first miscarriage and told his colleagues what had happened. They all immediately went "why are you here?? Go home and be with your wife." Old Army men can be sweethearts sometimes ❤

Military or not, I imagine most normal people will at the very least understand what you went through isn't easy, and not act like an asshole to you for it. And to top it off with everything else she's been doing since then......

Dude! I don’t know one female friend who has children now that didn’t have a miscarriage (or 2) before their current child besides my sister. It’s totally normal and I know you know that but it just pisses me off this women who is NOT an obgyn thinks she can talk to you about ANY of this shit. Fuck her.

Speaking as a male emotional idiot, even we male emotional idiots only make the mistake of being callous about miscarriage once. The wave of "how dare you" teaches us really quickly that you don't mess around with this subject.

Well as I mentioned before she makes the male employees uncomfortable because she likes to ask prying questions and give relationship advice, unasked. So, I don't know but I am also just mostly relieved that I have back up from my boss. I think another thing that he really seemed to stress is when she tried to report me from how he phrased it (professionally) was that she wanted me in trouble, she didn't care how. Also, I find it funny that she tried to report me for slacking when it's no secret she is the slowest ( or at least on of them) to submit her work.

GOD this lady sounds insufferable all around. I’m really happy for the outcome and I’m sorry for your loss. I hope now you can have this one less shitty thing to deal with while you work on moving on. Big hugs to you!

People can get really stupid trying to get someone else in trouble. I was moved to a different unit for a while, but I would go back to my old unit on breaks just to see how they were doing. Managers had asked that I stop as it interrupted their work, cause they were not on break. Fair enough, and I did. One morning I was back over there saying hi to the group, when this coworker went to my manager to complain I was over there. Work hadn't started yet, and wasn't for another 15 minutes. My manager told her to pound sand.

One day I was out sick, just caught a nasty bug and called in sick at work. The same coworker printed out my FB page to show to my manager and she said that if I was able to sit at my computer at home, I could be at work. The only message I had put up that day, was one saying I was sick and not going in to work.

She isn't there anymore. A very good thing as she was one of those people that just dragged down people that sat around her and made their workday crappy. But when people create their own nemesis, even if you haven't done anything to them, they just start upping the crazy.

Coworkers like this can make everything so damn hard; you only notice how toxic they were once they're gone and everybody feels fine again. Also more than once I saw multiple people ganging up to burn the problematic person in the department, nobody likes them and are more than happy to give a help so they can be fired.

Again. Why not? Ehhhh just because ehhh it’s risky also social media BAD isn’t a good reason.

It’s important to be able to call in sick because going in can mean infecting all your coworkers and members of the public if you work with them. Being physically capable of logging onto Facebook means absolutely nothing since you can do it from bed or the couch. And even if you’re capable of sitting up at your desk that doesn’t mean you don’t need to rest at home and not go through a commute and a day’s work when you should recover.

I think another thing that he really seemed to stress is when she tried to report me from how he phrased it (professionally) was that she wanted me in trouble, she didn't care how. Also, I find it funny that she tried to report me for slacking when it's no secret she is the slowest ( or at least on of them) to submit her work.

Yeah. That would turn any decent boss off. No one wants drama in the workplace and if someone has the audacity to bitch about a coworker for stupid shit that didn't affect them? And that someone is less productive than others? Yeah - that'd be someone I'd be managing out.

Do not be friends with this woman even if she asks for forgiveness. Toxic work “friends” can really hurt you and your performance at work. Just today I talked to my sister. She had been crying all evening because her own work “friend” started telling her hurtful things again on how she has terrible genes, horrible skin, how she’s aging awfully and how she dresses like shit and looks old. Wtf, people? This is workplace bullying. My sister has depression. This is her first job in a long time because depression made it impossible for her to even leave the house.

She’s finally back in the workplace and this idiot has made it her job to make her feel like shit ever since she started working there. She stopped with her mean comments and her bullying after a few warnings from upper management, they became friendlier, and out of nowhere she started with her bullying all over again today. I was so angry seeing my sister cry over that woman. I finally calmed myself a while ago and then I read this 🤬. I’m so angry on your behalf. You guys don’t deserve to be kicked when you’re down. What is wrong with people?

This was not your fault obviously and that is one bitter, miserable woman. I also think she’s telling these things to herself too, and she still blames herself for her own miscarriages. Oh well! She should speak to a therapist instead of bullying her very young coworker.

I’m so sorry for your loss hun, and please don’t let that woman be your friend ever again. Don’t even look at her. God, I hope they tore her a new one. She crossed a line no one should ever cross. Those topics are off limits. As a woman she should know better. I often feel like females bullies are a particular brand of cruel. And older women bullies are absolutely soulless.

I'm glad you stood up for yourself!!! Good for you! Miscarriage is a horrible thing to have to go through and having someone throw it in your face like that... it really makes my blood boil. My sister suffered a miscarriage at 24 weeks and she needed a lot of reassurance that she didn't do anything wrong. So, just incase you need to hear it, it wasn't your fault. ❤❤❤

Success!!! Way to stand up for yourself, lady. Don’t EVER be afraid to involve your boss or HR in a situation where you’re being made to feel like that. Sending you lots of good vibes to be able to heal from all of this.

This is just insane. I could barely believe the first post the way she spoke to you and blamed you for what happened to you. But the way she went after you and attacked you for “not working” is just on another level. What a piece of work.

Glad you’ll be getting some peace at work that you so deserve after this rough time. 🤗

I am so happy you have the justice you deserve. THANKFULLY, that coot will not harrass you anymore. That chick is on a fast track to being fired for being an idiot. I am seriously trying not to be unkind, but that co worker was disrespectful and awful.

Man OP, I saw your original post and I was just filled with anxiety for you. I hope this continues to provide you with relief and I hope you can finally start to heal, both body and soul. Sending internet hugs your way.

Sorry to hear about this, what a horrible thing to have to deal with at such a hard time. At least your boss seems like a decent person. I hope all works out for you in the end, Best wishes going forward.

I am floored. She behaved like a complete and utter monster to you and then she lodged a complaint against you?! Excuse me as I try to crank my jaw up. I’m really glad your boss has your back, and I hope this smackdown causes her to leave you the hell alone forever and ever.

All she did was confirm that she WASNT concerned about you, or acting out of cultural differences or out of a place of friendship. She is just a horrible person.

I guess it was a good thing that she went tattling to your boss. It showed him her immature shit-stirring tendencies, and now has put them on notice that she's a troublemaker. She really did you a favour by being so obvious.

Yes I dont understand why people do this, maybe they're going through a rough patch in their life, I just dont see how they try to make it better by projecting their insecurities or whatnot on to others. That does not make it better. What makes it better is toughing it out and not needlessly blaming others.

I'm so sorry you have had to go through all of this, you are already going through a very painful time and this is just adding onto it. I'm glad that your boss is so understanding and is wanting to make sure that nothing more happens between the two of you. I hope after this she is able to just leave you alone.

Your coworker needs to learn some boundaries. Why is she sticking her nose into what time you come in or what program you’re using? What a tattletale. Obviously you get your work done. I hate the micro manage attitude. Thankfully your boss has your back!

I'm so glad your boss is on your side! Sounds like they're going to try and collect efficient reasoning to fire her in the future if she keeps this kind of crap up. So be sure to take detailed notes if she says anything else OP!

If it had been a man who'd weighed in on a woman's miscarriage, he'd have been shoved out the door without even the chance to get his coat, being told his personal effects would be mailed to him later.

That's amazing! I am so glad you boss handled that properly instead of caving in over a malicious complaint. Just because someone isn't friends with someone else in the workplace anymore, does not mean they get to get in trouble. Your ex co-worker friend was just looking for something to dig up on you so that she could get back to you.

She's seen her for who she is and u have given her a smoking gun .. should it lead to a corpse think your boss is trying to be rid of her I would say she's not been doing her own work and looking to distract the boss from it.

I don't think u need to worry what u are you g through is serious and your boss doesn't want the place to be sued so is covering their bases

Kudos to your boss. I am so sorry this happened to you - all of it - not just the miscarriage, but also this unkind behaviour from your colleague. Hope you manage to rest and relax this week. Hug to you.

I’m super happy for you to hear things worked out and that your boss was cooperative. It made me angry to even read what she said to you and how she treated you. If she ever tries to talk to you besides strictly legit work reasons, then I’d say you have every right to flat out tell her “go away”. I hope you’re recovering well. Make sure to be extra kind to yourself.

I'm glad she got her come uppance. If she continues, document and go to boss. This lady clearly never made it past elementary school. All she had to do was ask like any normal, mature human being, and her question would be answered and her worries allayed. Instead, she got caught out for false reporting, tatting like a toddler, and for her highly inappropriate commentary on your medical status. You've now been given orders to report breach of orders on her part immediately, so have fun being put under the magnifying glass, Tall Tattler!

Your boss is a great boss. They really know how to lead and be human. Good on 'im.

As for your loss, I' m so terribly sorry. I hope you know it truly is not your fault, and that this happens to many women. While normalizing it does not ease the pain, knowing you are not alone, and that there are places for support can be very beneficial to your healing. Keep your support close and don't be afraid to lean on them when needed. They are not judging you in any way. They likely wish you never had to know such pain, and wish they could lift some of the burden of it from your shoulders. Keep moving forward, and focus on healing now.

Miscarriages just happen sometimes. I’ve known people who ate healthy and took it easy during pregnancy, no drinking, no smoking, and still miscarried. Sometimes there’s a reason, sometimes there isn’t.

Miscarriages are absolutely heartbreaking and OP was probably already blaming herself. Having a coworker who knew nothing of the situation go on a tirade blaming her for losing her child is horrible.

I'm sorry, but how the fuck do you think OP could be responsible for their own miscarriage? I'm assuming you are either intentionally trolling (most likely) or just a complete idiot. Keep your insensitive bullshit out of here.

You should ask your mom about it. I’m sure people have been blaming her for birthing a piece of shit like you on a daily basis ever since she popped you out.

Wait... she actually IS to blame in that scenario, because she raised you to become the piece of shit troll that we all ran into on this thread.

Hmm 🤔 why couldn’t your mom have had the miscarriage when she was pregnant with you? It would have saved OP a lot of pain, and the rest of the world would have benefited greatly from not having to see or hear the stupid bullshit that comes out of your keyboard and your fuckhole of a mouth.