"Don't Ask Me Why"

"Dante's the Guy"

The Lyrics

Howard Hesseman, as teacher Charlie Moore in the 1980s ABC sitcom "Head of the Class": "Have you ever heard of 'The Divine Comedy'? It's an epic poem by Dante. In it, he describes nine levels of hell." Dan Schneider as student Dennis Blundin: "That's a comedy?"

All the chapters in this real long bookit's a hundred if you blink.Whoa-hoh, every time you try to take a lookit may just drive you to drink.It ain't romances. Just take your chances.Dante's the guy.

You just finished chapter twenty-nine.Seventy-one to complete.Whoa-hoh, medieval book taxes your mind.Late at night, and now you're beat.Such slow advances. Just take your chances.Dante's the guy.

Mmmm, you can say this "comedy" is only make-believeand tell me that there ain't no real hell-fire.But you are still a victim of the novels that you read.As sure as in the end, you will get high-yi-yigher.

Now, I see, you're catching lots of hell.First of trilogy's complete.Whoa-hoh, fool them all, but, baby, I can tellSatan's got corns on his feet.You look at Judas, Cassius and Brutus.Dante's the guy.

(instrumental break)

Yesterday, purgatory seemed mild.Now, read 'bout heaven today.Whoa-hoh, do you like the book's translation style?Italiano, not Francais!Pretentious stances. You took your chances.Dante's the guy.

Dante's the guy.

Yes, my conservative acquaintances, the book taxes your mind. Although, in your cases, there's no danger of an increase.

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