All posts tagged "pun"

We said goodbye to a departing colleague at Leuven yesterday. I was on the OJ unfortunately because Kathy and I were planning on attending our first Brazilian dance class later on (keep your shoulders steady, pretend you have an enormous arse, oscillate hips in a sideways plane). Anyway:

What a pleasure it is to share the fruits (or in this case the buds) of your gardening labour with those you love. But in truth, getting to keep them to yourself is a close second. Kathy doesn't like them, and Hannah's on school camp, so I alone enjoyed the sweet and resinous goodness of the pirate's favourite vegetable.

Have run out of steam for anything, including blogging, this week. But let me point out that if you were a heterosexual male Elvis impersonator, and you had to give it up, and become celibate, you'd be forsaking quiff and quim.

I've been thinking that if you were stupid at the petrol pump, you would have committed bowser folly. The rest of this is proving a little difficult.

Down at the mall the other night I was lurking among the womenswear with my best "I have a girlfriend shopping here and I am not personally interested in ladies' underwear" face on, and I was subjected to an entire CD of "seasonal" music set to Latin rhythms. I never heard Silent Night as a mambo before, and I hope I never will again. My feet were not tapping but my teeth were grinding.

We were just up in Coromandel for a wedding, and had a great time, including a side trip to the Driving Creek Railway, which I thoroughly recommend. It's a labour of love: a torrid tale of clay, kilns and narrow-gauge rail. The commentary was particularly droll.

Anyway, the drive home along the coast road gave me ample time to wonder what possesses people in clapped-out, overladen vans to drive at 30 kmph without regard to gradient, curves or following traffic. Thank the Lord we don't carry small arms in the car in the car in this country. I am a placid, drive 5 kmph over the limit kind of driver these days, and I always pull over if I'm holding up the line. I wonder if it's just a stage. Maybe you just gradually grow a towelling hat and an aversion to wing mirrors…