It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent............................12 Calories
Without her consent..................2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.........................8 Calories
With one hand..........................12 Calories
With your teeth.......................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................6 Calories
Without an erection...........3,315 Calories

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly............................................ .................32 Calories
In a hurry............................................. ....98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door............5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories