Strategist, entrepreneur and commentator Craig Coogan examines issues with his unique perspective. NOTE: The views expressed in this blog are of the author (Craig Coogan) alone. They do not represent any organization, client, or business that he may be associated with. You are welcome to comment below. Thank you for reading!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Reality is a parody

Saturday Night Live since 1975 has been a leader in comedy
thanks to their ability to do spot-on parodies.The cultural shift against Sarah Palin can be tied to Tina Fey‘s
imitation of the former VP candidate.It’s rare that real-world events are a parody in and of themselves.Thankfully, however, we have an example.Congress just bailed out the helium industry once
again.

According to the Washington Post
(not The Onion or late night comedians) The Federal Helium program was introduced as a temporary measure in 1925.Inflatable airships were being built in
Europe after World War I and the U.S. was afraid of falling behind, so Congress
ordered a stockpile of helium to make sure American dirigibles weren’t left
behind.Private companies do produce
helium, but the U.S. Government continues to have a reserve – enough to fill 33
billion party balloons.

President Reagan tried to dismantle the program.President Clinton’s reinventing Government in
1996 got Congress to pass a law that the reserve had to sell $1 billion in
helium to pay off its debt back to the government and then it needed to shut
down.The final payment is imminent, and
under the law the program should finally shut down.

Scientists use helium in their experiments and research (in
liquid form).MRI machines and
semiconductor plants use helium.40% of
all helium sales come from the U.S. reserve – which still has five years’ worth
of supply.So on Friday, April 26, 2013
the U.S. Congress in a resounding show of bipartisanship voted 394 to 1 to keep
the program alive. The fear was that if the government stops selling helium
that market conditions might change resulting added costs for research.It’s an industry that has been propped up by
taxpayers, making that whole concept of capitalism bravado?

Where to begin?88
years the United States Government has been in the hot air business.Literally.Right at the moment of it closing down after a 17 year transition,
Republicans and Democrats who demagogue spending issues until there’s no oxygen
left couldn’t figure out a way to spin off this
successful enterprise to private industry.Congressman Hank Johnson (D-GA) mocked the program on the floor of
Congress and the proceeded to vote for its continuation.When asked how much longer the taxpayer would
be underwriting the program he said:“Five years?We don’t know.It could be shorter, it could be longer.”

There seems to be nothing that the Congress is willing to
actually cut.It shouldn’t surprise
me.It shouldn’t get me fired up.But it does. Whoa. I am becoming a parody of myself.