Surviving travel with hyperactive children

(This is Part One of a two-part series. The second part: Should ADHD medication be reduced/discontinued for travel, and summer camp?)

Being with children who have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is never all fun and games. And being away from home with them tends to worsen their behavior, often ruining trips for the entire family. But it need not be that way. There is sufficient information to help control their outbursts – and reduce the inevitable meltdowns to a manageable level.

Here is what is known:

1. Understand the challenges ADHD children face when traveling. Traveleliminates the cornerstone of behavior modification: routine, routine, routine. Worse, it substitutes situations which trigger impulsive behavior – eating meals in restaurants, dealing with strangers, and sleeping in unfamiliar surroundings, to mention just a few.

2. Then why travel? Family trips help children expand their horizons, build family unity, and create memories for tomorrow. Not traveling is unfair to other children in the family, and to parents. And ADHD kids who appear totally oblivious to the sights and activities of travel often speak about them enthusiastically later on.

3. Tips for traveling with ADHD children also help traveling with “normal” children. “Normal” merely means having fewer behavior issues. But unreasonable parental expectations and poor planning spoil more vacations than misbehaving children. Vacations provide more togetherness than many families find comfortable, for example. The usual escape valves from togetherness – separate rooms, multiple TV sets, and children visiting friends, for example – are not present. Being bored leads to moodiness, and it’s typically a downhill spiral from there.

4. Start discussing travel plans weeks ahead. ADHD kids need time to adjust to new situations.Consider marking off the days on a calendar until departure time. Show pictures and tell stories about where you will stay, how you will get there, the people you are going to meet, and where you’ll eat and sleep. Emphasize activities that the child enjoys (and if there aren’t any, rethink your trip). Allow your child to choose games and other reasonable items to take along.

5. Establish behavior rules before leaving home. Being on vacation mode makes it more difficult for parents to say no. Explain to children that they will see situations and activities that may be unhealthy, age-inappropriate, or hazardous for them, even though others participate. Examples: eating food from street vendors in areas of poor sanitation, snowmobiling alone, or unsafe rides at amusement parks. Preset rules minimize tantrums. Hold discussions frequently and in an upbeat, friendly, matter-of-fact way. For air travel, explain going through security, the necessity of wearing seatbelts, and the hazards of running in the aisles. Families have missed flights because older children made jokes about carrying weapons.

6. Customize each day’s activities around known behavior patterns. Many ADHD children have fairly predictable good and bad periods each day. Plan driving and visiting relatives for good periods. If your child takes naps (you should be so lucky!), plan to be where naps are feasible; the back of the car may do. Plan activities with your child’s attention span in mind. The shorter the child’s attention span, the more often you’ll need to change activities. But don’t forget the needs of the non-ADHD children in the family. They should have a good time, too.

7. Offer choices. When possible, let ADHD kids choose: the color of a rental car, the fast food restaurant, and which ride to take first at the amusement park. Also, if possible, respect their need to stake out space (territoriality, it’s called) by offering them first choice of the bed to sleep in at the hotel or the chair to sit in at a relative’s house. Having “comfort zones” for repeat activities is very helpful for ADHD children.

8. Think safety. ADHD kids tend to be impulsive and fearless, increasing the risk of accidents and getting lost, especially in new surroundings. Reading them warning signs in parks, on beaches and on cruise ships reinforces what you tell them. Repeat public address announcements. Give them instructions for what to do if they become separated from you.

9. Map out the day each morning. Consider using a calendar to show how many more days until you return home to familiar surroundings. Spell out a time schedule for the activities planned. Listen for strong negative feedback and decide if plans can be altered. List rules for behavior for the day. Have backup activities in case it rains or an attraction is closed. ADHD children do poorly in “there’s nothing for me to do” situations.

10. Alert other people to your child’s behavior. Non-stop movement, constant talking, and unnecessary touching of objects is irritating to most adults. Forewarn people you plan to visit that your child has ADHD and means no harm. Tell them not to confront the child but to report misbehavior directly to you, and that you will deal with it promptly. No need to give long explanations. Informing others in advance can turn a potentially seething adversary into an understanding ally. If discipline is warranted, do it privately.