Monday, March 20, 2006

Spring in the new Year

I don't know what the fuck an equinox is, but if the rain outside my homestead is any indication, spring is here! And what an appropriate metaphor as we prepare ourselves for yet another season that Macha will wash down the drain. As of today, we are a mere fortnight away from when Macha's stupid in-game moves actually have lasting detrimental ramifications.

I was watching a game last May with several law students, none of whom were baseball fans. When Eric Byrnes came to the plate for a crucial late game at-bat against a righty, I frustratingly pointed out that Byrnes can't hit righties, and even though there were a few options on the bench to serve as pinch-hitter, I correctly predicted that A) Macha would leave Byrnes in there, and B) Byrnes would foul off a bunch of crappy pitches before being frozen on an inside fastball. Naturally, both of those things happened, because Byrnes sucks and Macha is a fucking idiot. One of the law students then commented "when it comes to Ken Macha, the burden of rejoinder is not much of a burden at all." The other law students in the room all shared a chuckle, while I was heard to mutter, "hehe....mule" while simultaneously making a mental note to myself to look up what the fuck burden of rejoinder meant. Well, ten short months later, I finally did so, and I have to admit, for a gayass law joke, that was pretty fucking funny. Touche, Steve....touche.

Speaking of burdens, let's get back to Ken for a moment. It's been roughly five months since he re-signed, and during that whole time, he hasn't had the opportunity to cost us a game yet. Sure, we can lament him leaving Randy Keisler in the game to give up the lead in a spring training game, but it's just spring training. Of course, when you know that Macha will do this during the season as well, it's a bit harder to shrug off. The first time Witasick or Kennedy faces 8 batters too many, you'll know that Ken Macha is back, and worse than ever.

Spring is supposed to bring with it new hope and promise. The sun is supposed to be shining, the birds are supposed to be singing, and the dreams of a successful season are supposed to stand front and center. Everything old is new again, and everything dumb (Macha) is still dumb (Macha). Ah, spring.

Two weeks from tonight, Macha will spring in the new season with a dumb lineup, he'll leave Zito in too long, bring in the wrong reliever when he finally takes him out 6 batters too late, and then proceed to return to his nightly repose on the bench.

How do I know all this? Because it's spring, when everything old is new again.