Insert 2 AAA batteries, turn it on, press the record button and start talking. Then replace the spindle on your existing toilet roll holder with the Potty Mate. Whenever toilet paper is pulled, the Potty Mate will rotate and trigger the playback of your recording. You can record a new message over the old one any time you like.

I would want silence. Anything that makes rolling toilet paper into an endless paper snake on the floor more interesting for my toddler is strictly prohibited. Apparently, toilet paper is interesting enough on its own.