So there is this family reunion coming up in August that I have been planning to attend with Tori. The last couple of months though I have had this fear that I will not be able to handle (emotionally) being there, around all the “normal kids”, without having a meltdown every day. If you have a child like Tori you understand that for her to play with the other kids I have to help her almost constantly. Kids start playing in one area and in the next second they are running off to another room or outside leaving Tori there by herself: enter mom to help her walk to the next play area and make sure she doesn’t get trampled on or left out. Not to mention the comments I have already heard from other kids recently: “if you want to play with me you need to learn to walk”, “she falls a lot” and then the stares when she does not understand what is going on…of course they are only kids so I do not blame them for noticing her differences. Now I am not sharing this so you will feel sorry for me but rather sharing to vent and then to share the encouraging things I have read or thought this morning while contemplating if I really want to make this week long trip.

I sat down with my coffee and my phone and yes my Bible and journal were close at hand as well but I was not really in the mood to hear what I needed to hear yet! Coffee is most essential in the mornings!!! I opened the Facebook app on my phone to see what is going on in cyber world and Joyce Meyer had recently posted this: “Fear always tells you what you’re not, what you don’t have, what you can’t do, and what you never will be.” Wow! That was the first thing I needed to hear…fear always tells me what I cannot do. I would say fear has been my biggest struggle in my Christian life. In fact several weeks ago I called my mom crying because I did not think I could go to the reunion and while I was talking to her I realized it was really fear talking. Here I was again this morning, sitting and crying, letting that fear creep back in!

Joyce Meyer’s verse reference to the above quote was Romans 8:15 so I opened the Bible. What I came across while in Romans was another of her brilliant statements: “Do not believe your feelings more than you believe God’s Word!” page 1820 of The Everyday Life Bible. I started thinking of all the promises in God’s Word that pertained to my current state of mind and the following prayer came out:

“Thank You Lord for your Word today – it is exactly what I needed to hear. I know You have promised me peace, help in time of need and a sound mind. I know I can do anything I need to do because You have promised me strength! Thank You for caring for me affectionately. Please help me to learn to rebuke fear and learn to live by Your promises instead of being led by my feelings and emotions. Thank You, Lord, for your promises!”

Peace: Isaiah 26:3, Amplified Bible (AMP). You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.

Help in Time of Need: Hebrews 4:16, King James Version (KJV), Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Sound Mind: 2 Timothy 1:7, Amplified Bible (AMP), For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

Strength: Philippians 4:13, King James Version (KJV), I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

God Cares for us Affectionately: 1 Peter 5:7, Amplified Bible (AMP),Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.

I am so thankful to have a God who encourages and strengthens me for my day ahead!

If you are the parent of a special needs child and you live in California you are probably feeling a little bit of unrest regarding the potential state budget cut proposed that will affect thousands of kids receiving MUCH NEEDED therapy at the CCS MTUs (Medical Therapy Units).

This scripture has helped put me at rest and remember that God is ultimately in control and I must have faith and trust in Him during this time of uncertainty!

Hebrews 4:3

Amplified Bible (AMP)

For we who have believed (adhered to and trusted in and relied on God) do enter that rest, in accordance with His declaration that those [who did not believe] should not enter when He said, As I swore in My wrath, They shall not enter My rest; and this He said although [His] works had been completed and prepared [and waiting for all who would believe] from the foundation of the world.

I pray that we can all take a deep breath and remember that God is in control and will make a way for our precious kids to get the help they desperately need! I’m holding onto hope and putting my rest in God!

In The Everyday Life Bible Joyce Meyer writes, in regards to Psalm 16:11, “We must learn to seek God’s face and not just His hand. Seeking God for who He is, not just for what He can do for us, assures us “fullness of joy” (Psalm 16:11) and is vital to our victory as believers.” Life Point page 827.

I will bless the Lord, Who has given me counsel; yes, my heart instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell in safety, For You will not abandon me to Sheol (the place of the dead), neither will You suffer Your holy one [Holy One] to see corruption. You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:7-11 AMP)

Don’t imagine I doubt for a moment that what God sends us must be sent in love and will all be for the best if we have the grace to use it so. My mind doesn’t waver on this point; my feelings sometimes do. C.S Lewis

When I view and consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained and established, What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of
[earthborn] man that You care for him? Yet You have made him but a little lower than God [or heavenly beings], and You have crowned him with glory and honor. (Psalm 8:3-5 AMP)

“Throughout the Bible, God looked past the natural circumstances of a person’s life and saw something supernatural in them…

Gideon (Judges 6-7): Even though Gideon’s clan was the weakest in Manasseh and he was the least in his father’s house, when God looked at Gideon, He saw a mighty man of valor who would save the Israelites from the hand of Midian.

Saul (Acts 9): Saul was a persecutor of Christians and he had killed many of them. However, when God looked at Saul, He saw the great Apostle Paul who would share the good news about Jesus to the Gentiles and write a large portion of the New Testament.

…Moses (Exodus (3-4): In the natural, Moses stuttered and was not a good speaker; but when God looked at Moses, He saw a great leader who would deliver His people from Egypt.

None of these men had the natural ability to accomplish what God had declared about them. yet, as each one put his trust in God and believed what God said about him, God did a powerful work in his life and brought His plan to pass.”

Not only do I see, from these examples, that God can use me, a broken woman with no natural abilities, but God can and will use my child with special needs to bring His plan to pass.

I’ve had one of those mornings where I realize that I better stop trying to be a power mom, get in the Word and look at what the Bible has to say about how much God loves me before things get depressing. My husband and I have had a hard couple of weeks…coping with the challenges our sweet child deals with. It became really obvious to me this morning that I was not remembering what God thinks of me, that I am special too.

When I am feeling down about Tori’s situation I pray these scriptures over her:

Victoria is fearfully and wonderfully created by God. She is His masterpiece. Psalm 139:12-14

God watched as Victoria was being formed in my womb. He wrote down in His book His special plan for Victoria. Psalm 139:15-16

God is Victoria’s Heavenly father and she is His precious child. 2 Corinthians6:18

But I think us moms (and dads) should remember to put our name in that space instead of our child’s every once in a while. I get so consumed with Tori’s care and the future that I forget to remember this…God is not just in control of our children’s needs but He loves and cherishes us parents as well and has special plans for us. God loves us!

God thinks Stephanie is is beautiful. He sees no flaw in Stephanie. Song of Songs 4:7

Nothing in all creation can separate Stephanie from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus Stephanie’s Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Stephanie is blessed by God and He surrounds Stephanie with favor as a shield. Psalm 5:12

God’s plan is to prosper Stephanie and not to harm Stephanie. He gives Stephanie hope for Stephanie’s future. Jeremiah 29:11