Friday, January 27, 2012

I don't remember how old I was in this picture (maybe 7 or 8) but I was the coolest (obviously) and had an awesome friendship bracelet collection. It was the best! It would stay wet for days and be so itchy underneath but I was COOL! For some reason my mom said I couldn’t wear them anymore and made me cut them off. She said they were starting to smell and my arm was probably atrophying underneath. (I don’t really believe she used the word “atrophy” but it would have been pretty cool if she did say that to her 7 yo daughter.) (Then again, to get me to stop sucking my thumb my parents told me that if I didn’t stop I’d suck all the skin right off my thumb and I’d just have the bone sticking out…so, maybe she did use the word atrophy.) Either way, to calm me down she said we could take a picture so we’d never forget how disgustingly gross wonderful those few months were.

(I know I am you are excited that I found ANOTHER picture with a cameo appearance from that heart comforter!)

(I can spot at least 7 items in this picture that I still own.)

(I may have trouble throwing things away.)

So...you better believe I did NOT discourage my son when he discovered Silly Bandz!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

You know your child is tired when she falls asleep right after dinner.

Especially when she's eating a candy cane in front of the kitchen heater. A candy cane that she miraculously produced from God knows where. There she was, chomping away happily while I washed the dishes. I turned around for just a second and when I looked back...she was OUT!

I would like to point out that Babe knows how to dress herself and she uses her skills often. This gem is a combination of her summer pajamas and the tights that go with last year’s duck costume. The good thing is that they really do match. I fear our clothing bill when she’s a teenager but at least she’s got style!

Friday, January 20, 2012

My dad turns 60 on Monday, and in honor of that, I’d like to take a longer-than-usual walk down memory lane. For those of you that know my dad, it is VERY hard to imagine a time when he wasn’t preying on the small and weak for his own amusement was innocent. BUT! I have found photographic evidence that he could be (almost) angelic! I think it’s important to remember that even the bullies were once babes.

And my MOST favorite...

Do you see his socks? They kill me!

Look! He's smiling! In a picture! This is rare footage people!

For those of you that don’t know my father, perhaps the following pictures will help you better grasp where I am coming from…

I feel bad for my mom, but then again, she chose to marry him so...

Sadly, this is not an uncommon occurance when little kids are around my father

Nor is this...

It does explain a lot about me though

Nor this...

Except age is not a factor for throwing someone in a lake fully clothed

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Babe has...a certain tendency. I don't know if I should start being alarmed or if the fact that she's only 2 should give me some comfort, but it's hard to ignore.

At first it was cute...

Those are her pants around her ankles, not leg warmers or ankle weights as my cousins accused me of. She also has a Buzz Lightyear laser - the purple thing - on her arm, just below her tattoo (I think it was a soccer ball that time). All the cool kids are doing it.

Then it was sassy...

Doesn't every kid put beer koozies on their arms and walk around with no pants on? Just in our family?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Sorry I’ve been MIA for a few days. I’ve been meaning to post about our trip to the zoo this weekend. The high was 17 degrees but I think it was the most fun I’ve ever had at the zoo! We went with our friends and had a great time having the place all to ourselves.

We started with the inside stuff then had some lunch. After fortifying ourselves with zoo-burgers we bundled up and headed out. The great part about going in the cold weather (besides being the only people there) is all the animals are moving around to keep warm instead of hiding in the shade. We got to see a lot!

Bud really wanted to see the Reindeer (he thought Rudolph would be there) so that was our first stop. We figured they’d be out and about not caring about the cold but they ended up being the hardest to see of any animal! Figures!

There are reindeer there (but don't ask me where).

Babe watching the fish

Hoping to see the penguins

I'm not certain but they may have been playing Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.

Babe's hat kept riding up, I swear she isn't a Cone Head.

Making snow angels

Follow the leader

The sheep were SO CLOSE! They are usually way up on the hill and you can never see them. They even have binoculars to view them because they never come down. It was great to see them so close!

This little girl had more fun than anyone! She loves being outside and the animals were just an afterthought for her.

The tigers were having a good time playing.

And this tiger was sleepy...

Babe liked her the best!

The Snow Leopard had his face right up against the glass. The kids thought it was GREAT!

Because navigating the trail on your feet is for losers.

So we had a great time. Although I was a little skeptical about the zoo in the winter I have to say, it's going to be on our agenda every winter from now on!!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

So you might not know this about me but I think about some really random crap. (I know! Hard to believe, right!) Most of the time I spare you guys the details but I have come across the perfect platform to spew my mind vomit all across the Internet.

Thought Vomit Thursdays was brought to my attention byJoseyover at “My Cheap Version of Therapy” (Go ahead and click the links. She’s fun.The first link will bring you to her home page, the second will bring you to her first TVT post.)

Here goes…

I bet my Jillian Michael’s DVD would be much more successful if I could stop using it as an excuse to stuff my face with junk food. Minor details I suppose.

My parents turn 60 this year (my dad in a couple of weeks)! WHOA! Do you know what that means? That means I turn 30 in August! Crap! Where did my 20’s go?

If Babe doesn’t start going to sleep easier I might lose my mind. I feel bad, she’s just not ready to go to bed, but the thing is I AM AND I NEED MY SLEEP! We tried not giving her a nap but that was a huge backfire. She ended up falling asleep at 5 in the car on the way home and even though I woke her up when we got home it was just enough to give her a second wind of Herculean proportions! Drat! I miss sleeping.

I need to pick up my camera again. I don’t know if life has gotten in the way or what but I think it’s time to grab it again. I didn’t even take a lot at Christmas. At least, not nearly as many as I normally would. How will my kids ever remember their childhood if I don’t catalogue each and every second on film. Thank you digital cameras!

Has anyone else noticed that the captcha phrases are getting longer and longer? I had one before that was 7 letters and now I just had one with 8. Those things suck as it is, can’t they go easy on us and do like 4 letters? I’d be ok with 4.

I hate when I’m bored and want another blog to read but I’m all caught up (let’s be honest, this is a rare thing) and I just keep hitting refresh on my browser hoping another new one will pop up in my blog roll but it never does. You think I could actively search out new blogs but then when I get backed up again (in another day) I’d be even further behind! Being impatient AND unmotivated sucks.

I’m a sucker for free stuff. As I mentioned a while ago I ultimately decided on the college I went to because they sent me a car decal with my acceptance letter. I’m about to mail out a card to get myself a free preview of Martha Stewart Living Magazine and it comes with a free tote bag. I do not need another a tote bag and I’m really not a fan of Martha. For some reason that is not stopping me.

Finally, I need suggestions. I’m tired of calling my husband “my husband” every time I want to mention him. When I started writing this blog I called him Mr. MND (Mr. Mom Next Door) but he wasn’t a fan of that and, because I’m a good wife, I stopped using it. BUT, “my husband” is just annoying (the words, not my actual husband…at least not all the time) so I need some suggestions. So what do you think I should call my husband?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

In all the flurry of getting back into blogging after Christmas I realized yesterday that I teased you with the handcuffed cousin story but never actually told you. Without further ado…

As you know, I had a bazillion 16 people stay at my house for a four day period during Christmas. Everyone started arriving on Friday, including my cousin and her family. Her and her boyfriend needed to run to Wal-Mart shortly after arriving (Wal-Mart is about a 20 minute trip) and my husband had to run to Lowe’s again (the fridge didn’t come with the water filter it was supposed to come with) (of course it didn’t) and it’s right across from Wal-Mart. Basically, all the adults decided to go to Wal-Mart or Lowe’s, leaving me with my cousin’s children (which I know are technically my “cousins once removed” or some crap like that but for the sake of my fingers efficiency let’s just call them “my cousins” ok?)

These cousins are 13 and 11 (plenty old enough that I wasn’t actually babysitting) and they were able to keep themselves busy playing with my kids in the toy room. Everything was going beautifully…until my cousin K came out with his hands in handcuffs. Great.

We have these handcuffs from my Aunt. She sent them in a box of toys she had left over from her boys (her boys are in college now) and the keys were included. (I know they included the keys because at one point my husband got locked in them and it was a mad scramble to try to find them. So we definitely had the keys.)

So commence the hysterical laughing search for the keys. You may remember that I mentioned we cleaned out the toy room just before Christmas. I didn’t recall coming across the keys when we cleaned but I knew we had them so we started looking. K was trying to help but his hand functionality was...somewhat limited. After a few minutes of sifting through the junk toys and not having any success I commented, “Well, at least you learned your lesson. Don’t put your hands in handcuffs unless you know where the keys are BEFORE you do it.” We laughed. About 30 seconds later I hear him say “Uh oh!” I turned to look and now he has his fingers caught in one of those Chinese finger traps! He now has his hands cuffed AND his fingers cuffed! I really wish I had taken the time to take a picture. However, I took pity on him because he kept saying the cuffs were really tight and starting to hurt. (Next time, I’ll remember it’s worth the extra seconds to get photographic evidence. Promise.)

Thankfully he was able to get his fingers out but we still had the little problem of his hands. We were coming up empty looking for the keys and we were running out of places to look. I called my husband to laugh about the situation to see if he knew where the keys were, but he didn’t. I tried calling my mom to see if she remembered coming across them when we cleaned out the closet, but she didn’t. Remember how I mentioned Wal-Mart and Lowe’s were about 20 minutes away? He got stuck in the cuffs while everyone was still on their way there. It was going to be awhile before anyone got back. I’m not completely useless but breaking into handcuffs exceeds my abilities. We were just going to have to wait.

After about an hour my husband got home and my cousin basically bull-rushed him at the door. My husband took him out to his tool bench and got to work. He was trying everything to get into them and was just about to break out the hack-saw when he finally got them open with an allen wrench!

When they came back in he was finally handcuff free but he had huge welts around his wrists. The marks lasted for several hours! (Again, totally upset that I didn’t get pictures.)

So hopefully he has learned his lesson I’m not optimistic and doesn’t put handcuffs on himself every again! And, as my husband said, maybe he’ll think twice about breaking the law.