The Screech Sex Tape Is REAL

It pains us to do this, and yet it must be done. A few months ago our world – and our collective psyche – was rocked by the news that Dustin Diamond, the actor who played Screech on our beloved Saved By the Bell, made a raunchy sex tape that leaked to the Internet. Desperately trying to grasp onto our remaining few shreds of innocence, we speculated the tape was a hoax, a publicity stunt, or a very bad Zach Morris-esque prank of some sort. However, today we were finally forced to confront the painful reality of this abomination against everything that is right and good after a reader sent us a link to the entire video (WARNING: This is PORN. Very NSFW, very disturbing, and potentially capable of causing long-term psychological damage). All we can say is it is even crazier than we had imagined – the SBtB-like credit sequence (with gross sanchez-ing sound), the bubble bathing, the bantering, the unspeakable acts of Screech-on-slut sexuality. Watch if you can, have your nostalgia annihilated, and endanger your own ability to ever reach arousal again. In fact, try masturbating to it – we dare you.