Look to the good in humankind -- look to heroes, says grieving father

By Michael Martinez, CNN

Updated 4:59 PM ET, Mon July 30, 2012

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Photos:Photos: Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy

Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy – Alex Teves looks out on a beach in Hawaii a few years ago. He was one of the 12 people killed in the July 20 theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado. "I took this photo without Alex's knowledge on a secluded beach on Maui," says his mother, Caren Teves. "I love how he seems reflective, and I will always view this photo as him looking over us."

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Photos:Photos: Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy

Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy – Teves, center, took part in a Tough Mudder obstacle course designed by British special forces to test endurance and teamwork.

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Photos:Photos: Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy

Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy – Teves was the oldest of three boys. "If you want to describe Alex in one word, he was just good," says his father, Tom Teves.

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Photos:Photos: Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy

Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy – Girlfriend Amanda Lindgren credits Teves with saving her life in the deadly shooting spree during the screening of "The Dark Knight Rises."

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Photos:Photos: Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy

Victim Alex Teves leaves legacy – Teves "got along well with everybody, and everybody wanted to be friends with him," says high school math instructor Francoise Dastous.

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Story highlights

Tom Teves wants the goodness of humanity, not evil, to be remembered

Alex Teves was one of 12 people killed in the Aurora, Colorado, theater shooting

"If you want to describe Alex in one word, he was just good," his father said

Media focus on violent criminals only encourages others, and insults victims, he says

Alex Teves treasured Marvel and DC comics with their Spider-Man and Batman icons, and he was at his best in high school when he wrote about the superhero genre in English class.

He revered the enduring themes of good versus evil, and he is remembered here, in the place where he grew into a man, as one of the good guys: a boy who inspired an "Alex Teves Day" at school, pursued a calling to heal both minds and bodies, and died at age 24 facing evil in the darkness of a crowded Colorado movie theater.

"If you want to describe Alex in one word, he was just good," says his father, Tom Teves. "He wasn't a standout in anything, but he cared about people."

It is the goodness of humanity that Teves wants the world to know and remember: the virtues of his son -- and the 11 others killed at a midnight premiere of the latest Batman movie, "The Dark Knight Rises," in a cinema in Aurora, Colorado.

That desire has taken shape as a crusade. In the midst of mourning his first born, Tom Teves has wrested purpose from his grief -- the Alex Teves Challenge, he calls it. He demands that the media stop naming and showing images of the gunmen in mass murders.

Publicity glorifies killers, he says, and the notoriety spurs others to commit the same barbarities just for attention.

Girlfriend Amanda Lindgren credits Alex Teves with saving her life.

Columbine. Virginia Tech. Tucson. And now Aurora.

Alex Teves had just completed his master's degree in psychological counseling. His father says he would have condemned the practice of focusing on the murderers.

Remember the victims, the heroic acts, Tom Teves exhorts.

Let good triumph over evil.

'A zest for life'

Alex Teves died shielding his girlfriend from the rain of bullets. His last act was more than just heroism.

In the elegantly designed Phoenix community of Ahwatukee, where the boulevards are desert-landscaped with saguaro cacti and palo verde trees, Alex was such an ordinary guy of irrepressible cheer that he was celebrated for it by his classmates at Desert Vista High School, a high-performing public school opened in 1996 that sends graduates to the Ivy League.

Every day, he wore a crisp, white T-shirt, blue jeans and loafers to school; he just wasn't into materialism and liked to think of the more important things, his mother said. By his senior year, his AP statistics classmates -- and then the entire class of 2006 -- decided to hold a day in his honor. Everyone came to school dressed like him.

And now, says his mother, friends and supporters of those slain in the movie theater massacre held a memorial service in Denver with an Alex Teves dress code, and friends in Hawaii told the family they were planning a similarly attired service.

Alex Teves was a cooperative student with a streak for being fun and funny, says high school math instructor Francoise Dastous, who teaches the statistics class. "He really didn't have a clique per se. He got along well with everybody, and everybody wanted to be friends with him."

Alex once recounted to the class a hiking adventure that went awry, Dastous says. For anyone else, the experience would have been horrific, "but Alex put a positive spin on it," Dastous says. "He was just really engaging and really fun to listen to."

Six years have passed since the 57-year-old teacher had Alex in class, but the memories are clear. "He just really kind of stood out from the other kids. He was always smiling."

Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Cynthia Davis, center, visits the roadside memorial set up for victims of the Colorado shooting massacre across the street from the Century 16 movie theater on Monday, July 30, 2012, in Aurora, Colorado. Twelve people were killed in the theater early July 20, 2012, during a screening of "The Dark Knight Rises." Suspect James Holmes was taken into custody shortly after the attack. More photos: Colorado movie theater shooting

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

People visit the roadside memorial set up for victims of the massacre on Monday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Visitors pray around a cross at the memorial across the street from the theater on Saturday, July 28.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Jeremy Blocker displays a new tattoo honoring the victims.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Members of Alex Sullivan's family embrace at a memorial across the street from the Century 16 movie theater on Thursday, July 26.

A couple embraces as "Dark Knight Rises" star Christian Bale and his wife, Sandra Blazic, wait to place flowers at the memorial on Tuesday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Bale places flowers at the memorial while other mourners look on.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Visitors pay tribute Tuesday, July 24, at the makeshift memorial.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

A cross stands at the makeshift memorial for victims across the street from the Century 16 theater on Tuesday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Greg Zanis of Aurora, Illinois, carries two of the 12 crosses he made for a makeshift memorial to the victims of last weekend's mass shooting at the Century 16 movie theater on Sunday, July 22.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Greg Zanis writes the names of the victims of last weekend's mass shooting on the crosses before erecting them at the memorial across from the Century 16 movie theater on Sunday. Zanis, a carpenter, drove all night from Illinois to deliver the crosses.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Parishioners pray during morning Mass, remembering victims of the theater shooting, at the Queen of Peace Catholic Church on Sunday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Angie Terry of Alabama prays next to a white wooden cross erected for victims.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

A man pauses before the crosses at the memorial near the Century 16 movie theater on Sunday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

President Barack Obama embraces Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper as Sen. Mark Udall, left, and Sen. Michael Bennet look on during a visit to the University of Colorado Hospital on Sunday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Mourners bow their heads in prayer during the vigil for the victims of the Aurora shooting.

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A woman is overcome with emotion during the vigil.

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Tiffany Garcia, right, and her 6-year-old daughter, Angelina Garcia, cry on Saturday, July 21, as they look at a memorial for the victims of Friday's shooting.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

People pray at a cross erected at the makeshift memorial across the street from the Century 16 theater on Saturday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Family, friends and former classmates of movie theater shooting victim A.J. Boik gather for a memorial service at Gateway High School on Saturday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Boik and his girlfriend were at the midnight showing of 'The Dark Knight Rises' when a gunman killed Boik and 11 other people.

Eman Alexander, 17, pins a ribbon on his shirt while joining family, friends and former classmates to honor shooting victim A.J. Boik.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Denise Toepel of Denver sheds tears while visiting a makeshift memorial across the street from the Century 16 movie theater on Saturday, July 21.

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Handwritten signs decorate the makeshift memorial across from the Century 16 movie theater on Saturday.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Gerald Wright, 24, relights candles that have blown out at the victims' memorial across from the movie theater.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Aviation Boatswain's Mate 3rd Class Jajuan Mangual lowers the American flag on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush to half-mast on Saturday. One U.S. Navy sailor was killed in the shooting and another injured.

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Photos:Colorado massacre: Mourning the victims

Two women mourn near the theater on Saturday.

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Alicia Prevette, left, and Paul Stepherson attend a vigil for the victims Friday at the Century 16 movie theater.

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A woman lights a candle at a makeshift memorial where the victims of the massacre are mourned.

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Mourners hold hands at a vigil near the theater.

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Mourners hug as they grieve the loss of the victims.

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A group of teenagers stand behind a sign that reads "Strength."

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Dara Anderson, left, and Monique Anderson cry during a candlelight vigil across the street from the crime scene.

Nathan Mendoza, left, and Melissa Clark sit on the grass during a vigil.

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Flags, flowers and candles make up a memorial site.

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Two mourners sit on the ground at a vigil.

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A sign prevents moviegoers from wearing masks or bringing in props to the AMC Arapahoe Crossing 16 movie theater in Aurora.

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A woman looks at a makeshift memorial after attending a candlelight vigil.

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Alex was an honors student whom other faculty recalled as having a sense of humor, says Anna Battle, principal of the 3,000-student school, one of the largest in Arizona.

"He wasn't Mr. Flamboyant. He wasn't Mr. Social Anybody. He was an even-keeled, pleasant, quality young man who loved superheroes," Battle says. "One English teacher said he was a good writer and wrote exceptionally about superheroes.

"Unfortunately, it sounds like the young man who created this incident (in the Colorado movie theater) had some challenges that Alex may have been able to help," Battle adds.

The alleged gunman is also 24 and was a neuroscience doctoral student at University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus in Aurora. According to a court document filed by his public defense attorneys, he was also a patient of a university psychiatrist.

'My hero every day'

Alex Teves will not be forgotten.

His father shares one more memory.

Alex was injured with a group of kids when their car rolled over in an accident in the desert. He was a student at the University of Arizona at the time.

When an ambulance arrived, Alex insisted the other passengers get inside first, his father recalls, even though he needed immediate treatment, too.

Once in intensive care, Alex asked his father to visit one of his friends who was hospitalized because that boy's parents had yet to arrive.

"That's the kind of kid he was," the father says. "The world is worse off because he's not in it."

Alex Teves "got along well with everybody, and everybody wanted to be friends with him."

That the suspect had dyed his hair red to resemble the villain Joker of the Batman series is a cruel turn of fate that enrages the grieving father.

Tom Teves doesn't want his son's legacy to be defined by a gunman. When the man first appeared in court last week in Colorado, Teves was there. He calls the suspect "a coward."

"He didn't look like much," Teves says. "My son could have wiped the floor with him."

Then the father continues: "If he would have known my son, he would have helped him."

He returns to his challenge to the media. He blames news outlets, including CNN, for playing a role in perpetuating mass shootings.

"You make him out to be a madman," he says of the man suspected of killing his son. "He knew he was going to be on television. These guys are playing you like fiddles. Either you're not that bright -- I used a better word than I was thinking of -- or you don't care and you're using it to sell advertising, and then you're the worst thing on the face of the earth."

Tom and Caren Teves have been married 28 years. He worked two or three jobs sometimes, so that their kids could benefit from having their mother at home full-time.

Now the couple faces raising their 16- and 17-year-old sons without their big brother.

"He was my hero every day," Teves says.

The father isn't surprised by the way Alex responded when savagery slipped inside the movie theater. "Alex is in heaven," he adds. "I'm quite sure of it."

Alex Teves

His anger subsides. The couple is accompanied by Caren Teves' sister and her husband, whom the Teveses earlier picked up at the Phoenix airport. The in-laws, Joe and Carla Morgan, express outrage that the suspect's photo appears five times on the front page of a national newspaper, overwhelming any photos of Alex and the others who lost their lives.

"Stop showing cowards and start showing heroes," Tom Teves says, "so that another father doesn't feel the hole in his body that I have and I know will never go away."

He puts his hand over his heart. His wife extends her hand and joins his.

"It's got to end," he says. "You do your part, and I promise to do the other."

He says he will spend his days reminding the media of this challenge in his son's name.