Have you ever shared your dream with someone only to be discouraged?

Have you ever been so certain about the direction that you want to take only to be told by someone you trust that you are going to fail?

If you answered yes, to any of the above questions then you understand how it feels when someone tries to blow out your light….damn your enthusiasm.

Apparently, it’s human nature for one to damn someone else’s light if theirs isn’t shinning. Remember that misery loves company, and if you are in company with people who have given up on their dreams, don’t expect them to inspire you.

Note that people who feel insecure about their own qualities will attempt to make others feel that way. They will devise mental plots to get you to start doubting yourself.

Furthermore, if one is stuck in a dark place for a while, understand that they have become accustomed to the darkness. They don’t want to experience anything different. Their brains have settled, and it normally takes some mental and emotional work for them to snap out of their illusion and start shinning their own light. Therefore, if you share your dream with someone in that mental state, be sure to receive discouragement.

“If one is stuck in a dark place for a while, understand that they have become accustomed to the darkness”

The next question is, what do you do if someone discourages you?

The answer lies in the very reason why you want to pursue your goal. Your why, should matter more than what anyone else says about you or your goals. Besides, what others think or say about you is their business: that’s their model of the world. Whatever one is projecting in their mind has nothing to do with you. Your business is what’s brewing in your own mind. Therefore, you can’t let naysayers retard your decision to move forward with your dream. Remember, no one but you has the power to put out your light. You are the master of your enthusiasm and your inner thrill, and it’s really up to you to keep shinning no matter what.

“No one but you has the power to put out your light.”

In this video, I share a few tips that you can use to keep your light shinning. The tips are simple and I’m certain that you already know about them. However, sometimes it helps when we are reminded that the answers and solutions we seek for are always within us.

It’s often said that getting things is easy; but believing that we can get these things is the difficult part. Doubt tends to engulf our minds consistently, which then blocks us from doing all we can to earn more money. This doubt is normally based on dwelling on past unfavorable experiences where we either didn’t earn the money we needed or we lost it.

For instance, let’s imagine that you have been working so hard to earn more money, but for some reason haven’t made it happen. Even if a new opportunity comes along, you may not believe that this opportunity will earn you money because that hasn’t been your experience. However, we also have to remember that dwelling on the past creates a similar future.

Doubt is also accelerated by the fear that our past might repeat itself in the future. In his book, The Magic in Believing, Claude Bristol explains that believing, is the link between what we want and don’t have, and having it. Once you start believing that you can get something your brain will identify ways to make it happen.

When it comes to money, doubt is one of the many reasons why we don’t earn more of it. Therefore, if you have a goal to earn more money, firstly be sure to release the doubt that you can’t have that money. If you don’t have faith, pretend you do, and soon or later you will start believing. You can also mentally go back to a time when you didn’t believe that you could realize a goal, but did. This memory will be a kind reminder that you can actually achieve what you want if you put in the work and get your vibration in congruence with your desire.

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies.

Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.

When you click on the referenced video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, share and like the video. If you have comments, even better. Please include them in the comments section below.

Some philosophers have argued that we are not totally free to be who want to be. What we think is freedom is merely being free to express ourselves as predetermined by our earlier and continuous programming. Due to the fact that being free means being happy and content with wherever and whatever one is, we tend to mistake settling for what is available, for authentic contentment. We forget that if we are unaware of other realities we have nothing to compare with. As such we regard our present reality as the real deal. Furthermore, because we are deeply programmed to believe and be a certain way, we conclude that this is the best we can be or do. We settle for beliefs and lives that are not organically our own.

For instance, as I child, I was told, and I believed that if a woman rode a bike they would never get married. Because riding a bike compromised being feminine. Today, I’m still struggling to learn how to ride a bike–upon discovering that getting married has nothing to do with riding a bike. 🙂

That’s one of many beliefs that I was exposed to as a child, and I have had to examine, question and change my beliefs every so often in order to discover if they are regressing or progressing me.

The question is: Which of your beliefs are promoting your life?

Note that it takes more than wishful thinking to examine all our beliefs in order to originate beliefs and ways of living that are organically our own. Note that everytime someone starts questioning the general status quo, they are isolated, rejected if not killed. They are thrown out of the crowd. Think about people like, Martin Luther King, Jr, Jesus, the Christ–to mention a few.

So, if you want to create a reality that is organically your own, you have to step away from the crowds, follow your bliss and inner guidance, question everything, be open to everything, yet attached to nothing. You also have to be willing to be alone in order to find your authentic-self. However, the benefits are inexhaustible.

If you are seeking for a spiritual speaker to speak about “What it Means to be Free”, or a counselor/coach who will work with you in examining your current reality and creating an organic one based on your authentic-self, please send me an email at tapthegood@gmail.com

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana.Ph.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, Transformational Coach, Published author and Professional speaker. For more about her, visit http://www.tapthegood.com

Although there are many reasons that incite our frustrations, the main reasons are founded on two major factors: money and relationships.

We get frustrated because we either don’t have money, we are losing money or money is not coming in as expected. We also get frustrated because of the people we deal with: especially because we are all different and view the world from a diverse perspective.

One thing I have learned is that the factors that promote our negative emotions, plus the negative emotions are not as crucial in influencing our emotional well-being as our perception about them. As such, my intention is to share 10 tips that you can use to get out of a frustrated mood regardless of the foundation of your frustrations. Remember, it is not what happens to us that impacts our lives; it’s how we perceive whatever happens.

Move

By moving, I mean, changing your physicality. Do yoga, dance, go for a walk, exercise: the idea is to get your body moving. Once your body is moving, your brain will change its focus from the frustration to whatever you are doing.

“The difference between peak performance and poor performance is not intelligence or ability; most often it’s the state that your mind and body is in.” – Tony Robbins

Note that emotion is created by motion. In other words, emotions are linked to movement in our bodies. Observe your posture when you are happy, as opposed to when you are sad — or what you look like when you are angry, versus when you are elated.

Listen To Inspirational Or Upbeat Music.

I understand that sometimes when you are feeling frustrated or sad you don’t have the guts to listen to anything. But if you are so sick and tired of feeling negative you will do whatever it takes to feel better. Some of the songs I listen to when I’m sad include, but are not limited to the following:

The Storm is Over – R Kelley

A New Day Has Come – Celine Dion

Roar – Katy Perry

Departed (Right Here) – Brandy

I look to You – Whitney Houston

I’m Your Angel – Celine Dion and R Kelly

When You Believe – Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey

Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson

One Step at a Time – Jordan Sparks

Note that it is important to spend time making your own list.

3. Clean

Cleaning your space has a magical way of making you feel better. As you clean, your mind goes into the cleaning mood. As such, you implicitly clean the frustration from your mind.

Imaginereceiving $1 Million in your bank account; make a list of how you would spend it.

Cook

Just go into your kitchen and concoct recipes regardless of what you are cooking. The process will definitely help you divert your mind from the frustration.

Change your furniture around. Don’t try to be perfect. Just change things around in whichever way you want.

Go window shopping

Volunteer

This will help you realize how blessed you are.

Make big plans.

Just make plans without worrying about the resources required to realize them. Make plans as you focus on the things you want to manifest in your life—imagining that there are no obstacles that can hinder you from achieving your goals.

Conclusion:

Remember that the difference between where you are emotionally or mentally, and where you want to be, is only a decision away. Once you decide to change your mind about anything, you have literally embarked on a profound journey of getting to your desired destination.

It is not only biologically vital but also spiritually imperative to grow up with our parents, mom and dad, or the equivalent, for us to develop and sustain positive-infused mindsets. Although overlooked, without both your parents in the picture as a child, you are bound to search for whoever was missing in the people you meet in your adult life. And that can be very frustrating.

Note that one is also impliedly psychologically and emotionally abused if their father or father figure was always absent in their younger days.

In this article, you will identify one of the problems created by not having a father figure or having an abusive one, and learn three simple techniques that will liberate you from this problem in order to develop healthier relationships with the men in your life.

The Problem:

Without a father figure in your life, you miss out on the security and comfort that a father figure provides (especially one with a healthy mind). A father is literally the first adult male you are introduced to, or is supposed to be introduced to when you are born. As such, he represents men in general and especially how men relate or should relate to women. Your father introduces you to the first standards that you believe every man should possess. If you saw your father treating your mom with respect, you tend to attract or choose men who understand how to treat a woman with respect.

If especially you witnessed your father abusing you or any other members of your family and never stopped abusing them, and/or never apologized, chances are that you have subconscious anger that’s not only directed towards your father, but all men. The consequences are that you will continue unconsciously seeking out men with behaviors similar to your dad with hope that they might abuse you and then apologize to make up for what your father didn’t do. However, even if you attract men who are apologetic for abusing you, they will not compensate for your father’s abuse. Therefore, you will continue seeking for abusive men, over and over again until you deal with your early father-figure programming.

Or sign up for my complimentary 30 minutes consultation session to set up counseling sessions that are guaranteed to help you take your power back from the negative past in order to live life on your terms.