YOU are loved

So… writing more frequently has not happened, but since the last time I wrote, my dad came home twice; my kids went on a Young Life Winter Weekend; I have finished up two websites; worked on a couple more brochures; watched my sweet nieces; and taken on another part-time job – oh, and I have spent waaaaay toooooo many hours researching Common Core & the AMP testing; we’re in the 3rd (or is it 4th now?) quarter for school; Track has started – so have the daily practices (but I don’t have to drive – YEA! :-D); and my son is in a boot for a possible fractured/broken foot, so now track is a little iffy. oh, and I went back dairy free… Want to know something? It’s not fun to find quick-to-eat, protein/filling meals without gluten, dairy, egg, or beef. So ya, it’s not out of boredom I haven’t written :-D.

Also – I FINALLY went through my 1,000s of photos from the Philippines and made a book – it took me three days straight and most of another to narrow it down to a 40 page book. I ended up pulling most of my flower/scenery ones & I’ll have to do a second book. I’m so excited to see some of them in print! While I’ve had them organized, I have only printed one photo since coming back.

Two years ago right now we were inside two weeks from leaving for two months. My heart has ached from missing the Philippines this year – I suspect because Zach & Jane and the kids were here most of last year and now they’re back over there. Assuming I get our schedule shifts smoothed out (I’m trying to get the blog into the schedule) I’d love to do a photo(s)/day to remember our time there. I know I won’t actually make it to posting here each day – but I have started trying to learn instagram, so maybe it’ll happen there. (if 5 pictures over the last 2wks counts as learning)…

The following picture is from the tribe we went to in the Philippines when we got to stay for three days – over Mother’s Day. This is the view from our friends’ front door. So beautiful!

Today is Palm Sunday. For the first time in my life I’ve been reading a Lent devotional (SheReadsTruth.com <-AWESOME!). Alongside the devotional I’ve been reading another book, You’re Loved No Matter What by Holley Gerth. Amazing! I’m still working to mentally process so much of the book. I so appreciate her style of writing, it’s is as if you were sitting together with a friend visiting. So often I think of a question while reading and within a sentence or two, she answers my question – as if I asked aloud & she heard me. This book is no different.

It has been amazing to read during this Lent season as well, it has made the gift of sacrifice on Good Friday & Jesus’ resurrection on Easter have so much more meaning going into this week.

For example: Today is Palm Sunday, the day Jesus rode the donkey & everyone waved palm branches. What was brought to my attention in the Lent devotional: Jesus, as a human, was fully aware and purposely went to Jerusalem – knowing he was going to die. It was a hard thing, something He was willing to do for us, but He would rather not have to do. But He went because it was His Father’s (my Father’s) will for Him to do. Why? (from You’re Love No Matter What) Because He loves us. because He loves me. He loves all of us as a whole. He loves each of us individually. no matter what.

For the first time I’m equating the fact (mentally receiving the idea) He went to Jerusalem specifically to die, because He loves me. I always thought the importance of the story was because He was riding a baby donkey (an unridden colt) – I have only looked at the surface.

Jesus loves each of us individually – NO MATTER what we have done (or not done) in life.

For a long time I’ve thought I was working on/was over perfectionism in my life. My twisted idea of what “being perfect” meant, I thought I was choosing to not be, so I was “over” it. Such a trap. a lie. However, throughout this book I’ve realized the fears I’m working to get past are part of perfectionism too. And I can’t “work to get past” them. I simply need to focus on enjoying a full life in Jesus & quit trying so hard. In a weird, backwards way I’ve been stuck in a cycle of perfectionism and being paralyzed by the overwhelm to be “perfect”. I feel as if each morning I’ve had a coffee visit with Holley and she has helped me see how this ISN’T how our Father wanted me to live, it is why He sent His son to die – for each of us. We are ALL loved already – NO MATTER what. Oh.my.goodness!!! See how it all comes full circle? He is a crazy, amazing, wonderfully good God. and He loves you! There will always be an element of longing & waiting for perfect, because we won’t be perfect until we’re in heaven.We are only/already a third of the way through 2015 and this has been a year for receiving. My heart is full. Receive has not been in outward, evident, tangible ways, but so many mental ways. Choosing to receive, choosing to receive grace, choosing to believe differently than I thought before. Choosing to embrace the truth of His love has been so refreshing.

**I received a copy of this book from Revell in exchanged for my honest review. I was not required to write a positive review.**

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