President John Mahama has created the Ministry of Power Barges, which will be responsible for cobbling together “new and creative excuses” to explain the length of time it is taking to deliver the “emergency” power plants from Turkey. The delivery of the power plants, originally scheduled for April, then September then November, was previously overseen…

Doctors currently striking over conditions of service say they will offer “thorough medical check-ups to all bootlickers and minions of the government who seem to be showing signs of idiocy.” Executives of the Ghana Medical Association (GMA) said they are treating the high prevalence of idiocy among the government’s bootlickers and flatterers as an emergency.…

In keeping with the ruling NDC’s standard reaction to anything or anyone who disagrees with any government policy, an NDC foot soldier has accused all non-biodegradable plastic bags of supporting the opposition NPP. “I believe that these plastic bags are all NPP supporters. They all want to disgrace the current NDC administration. They are nation…

A popular clergyman has waded into the ongoing rumpus over “which pastor belongs to which party” with a disclosure of his leanings towards Akua Donkor’s Ghana Freedom Party (GFP) and a challenge to face-off “pro-NPP pastors” in a bible-inspired contest. Reverend Archbishop Major General Dr. T. B. Duncan-Judas, CEO and founder of the Holy Gospel Anointed Mountain…

Larry Acheampong’s phantom Angolan friend who was paid some $20,000 for providing directions to a popular supermarket in Brazil during the last World Cup has reportedly welcomed the government’s white paper on the Dzamefe Commission Report with wild celebrations. The phantom Angolan who is permanently resident inside Larry Acheampong’s head, said he was “pleased with government’s…

Health officials in Botswana have been put on high alert over the potential spread of Dead Goat syndrome after a known sufferer from Ghana arrived in the southern African country on Monday. The head of the country’s Disease Control Unit identified the Ghanaian as John, a self-diagnosed sufferer of Dead Goat syndrome who arrived in…

The real life version of erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey is premiering at the Theatre of Life in Ghana. Fifty Eight Shades of Greed, is an 18-certificate tragic drama which details the abusive relationship between a young talented woman, Ghanastasia ‘Ghana’ Steele, and a predatory businessman, Polichristian Greed. Polichristian targets and cajoles the impressionable…

Broad disagreements over the colour of a dress which appeared online this morning has split the nation into two halves- Team green/white/red/black and Team red/blue/white. The great dress debate has managed to polarise views online and across the country, and has rapidly degenerated into a vicious mudslinging match. Both parties remain adamant in the belief…