growing in the goo

Saturday, August 30, 2008

oh, MSN

Favorite line(s):You may have trouble staying close to single friends after marriage. They may seem distant and jealous -- or they may think you betrayed them by trading your single status for glorious 'coupledom' (read Bridget Jones's Diary: A Novel for more on this phenomenon). Don't take friends' negative reactions personally; they're likely feeling a bit deserted.

WOE IS THEM!!!

On a completely different note, has anyone seen Mad Men? I'm obsessed. In case you want to catch up on season 2, there's a marathon on Sunday on AMC. You don't need to have watched the first season...dive in!

Monday, August 25, 2008

C-note, no spoilers here!

A couple of weeks ago I read "the godmother," by Carrie Adams. It's about a 36-year-old woman who has a bunch of friends who are either married, married with children, or single with children. She compares her life to theirs, blah blah blah.

First of all, I don't know when I switched from "hijinks while finding a fiance" chick-lit to "I'm married to a man I love and I have a child but I'm miserable" chick-lit (SEE: Jennifer Weiner). Is this a new genre? Or did I just stumble upon it? Or maybe since I'm now living in the suburbs, Borders puts out a different collection of fluff that will appeal to the demographic?

This book had a few great quotes that especially hit home...the one I'm thinking of right now, especially, is:okay...turns out that I can't find the stupid quote. But the essence is, For once I'd like to meet a man who doesn't have a "...but" attached. Like, "He's rich and driven...but lives with his mom," (not like I can talk there!), or "Smart...but enjoys torturing little animals," or "Nice, but was drunk when I met him. At 11 a.m." (yeah.)

It seems like everyone I meet has a huge big honking "but" attached. I'm aware that I have quite a few "buts" to my name right now, but really? Really?!

Which leads to my next favorite quote, which I did mark:"At twenty I was not ready to make that deal. I was having too much fun. When the bouquet sailed through the air, I abstained again, letting it fall at my feet. Marriage would come later, that I knew; I didn't want to rush things. I wasn't going to catch roses to cement the deal. I was so sure that I would get married and have children that I never even questioned it. I now know a tiny fraction of what I thought I knew then, which is just about enough to realize that I knew nothing."

When I read that, I had a little flashback of me at my older brother's wedding...chatting outside with the uncles, drinking it up and having my second cigar. All my life I've been snubbing my nose at superstitions, laughing mockingly when I break a mirror, taunting black cats in my path, absent-mindedly wandering underneath ladders, opening umbrellas indoors often. I have two weddings coming up, and depending upon my state of mind, I might actually stand in the herd. (This is not to say that I want to get married now, but it might be good to stop acting too cool for school...?)

With that said, there's one more quote that I really like, one that doesn't pertain to my life at all, but I found it fascinating. One of the characters is talking about marriage, and she said:"Someone once said that marriage is like standing in a corridor lined with doors. You go off through your door, he goes through his, but at the end of the day you have to come back to the corridor, touch base, hold hands, because through every door are more doors, and beyond them, more again, and if you both go through too many without coming back to the corridor, you may never find your way back."

Saturday, August 16, 2008

hello from the dating trenches!

So...as some of you might know, I am the owner of an eharmony account. I've gone on one date through the site. It was okay...no fireworks or sparks, though. When my mom told my grandma (because my whole family is very interested in my dating life), my grandma said something along the lines of "Oh! She expects fireworks too soon - she watches too many romantic movies!"

I would have never thought of myself as someone who needed fireworks to get something going, but a while ago I realized (even before that blah date) that I am that kind of girl who *does* want sparks right off the bat. I've felt a connection on a first date before, and now I'll settle for nothing less. Well, actually, I will settle for less because I have a three-date rule before ruling anyone out...BUT I adhere to that rule begrudgingly.

At any rate. I signed on to eharmony tonight to "cancel" my subscription - aka take away their right to automatically charge my credit card in September when it's time to renew. Even the cancellation process was...a process. I had to answer 10 multiple choice questions, and one short answer. And at every turn they gave me a chance to back out of my bad decision that will apparently tear me asunder from my soul mate, who is just waiting for me to sign online and open my superficial eyes to his previously overlooked profile.

This is all to say that somehow I ended up reading an eharmony article that described the "summer fashions that will turn your date cold." Capris are number one. Also on the list were "faux gold pieces" (oh, pardon me, let me whip out my credit card to buy some 24k necklaces and bracelets), and "anything sparkly." Since that just about constitutes my entire wardrobe, guess I'm hitting up my next date naked.

I started reading the comments after the article and was pleased to see that other girls disagreed with the so-called expert who wrote the piece. On the second page of comments, I can across this one from a nice man in Illinois (...or was it Indiana?).

"Here's a tip for the ladies. Dress well for the first date. Business attire allows you to stuff, tuck or hide whatever physical imperfections you have and it shows a lot of class. Many guys are looking for a soulmate that LOOKS GOOD when in public. Everybody can be sloppy at home or after casual familiarity allows people to look not-so-great, but start it off on a high note so some chemistry can develop. Let's be really honest, if there is any shallowness to men it is that we want other men to think we chose wisely. Public settings are where the couple needs to look good for their own ego boost and pride in each other.

And just a quick rave to the attorney I was matched with recently...in one of her photos she had on a pearl necklace and a business appropriate blouse on. Wow. I have a thing for women that look like they are a future senator's spouse. So classy, so elegant, so conservative."

Okay, first of all, ICK. Second of all, ICK. Moving beyond the self-importance of offering "a tip for the ladies" that involves the actions of stuffing, tucking, and hiding, did he just say "future senator's SPOUSE" - ?! What about a future senator, you prick?

Monday, August 11, 2008

I hereby promise to blog more.

All of my friends have been really supportive during my past two months of "underemployment"—one of my friends even coined the term "underemployment" to make me feel better about not having a full-time job. C-note has been talking up my blog to me, suggesting that I compile posts from my first year of blogging and morph them into a book. Other friends have encouraged me to do some sort of professional photography thing, which is seriously flattering. These little boosts have gone a long way toward helping me maintain a healthy outlook.

This summer is eerily similar to the summer of 2005 — mainly in the "oh my God am I EVER going to get a job?!" panic that seizes me almost every night and at random moments throughout the day. I check job listings and I want to SCREAM when I see the opportunities out there. It reminds me of the facebook group "I picked a major in college that I loved and therefore I will be living in a box." I mean, really. From where I'm sitting right here it's almost as though the past 2.5 years will have meant nothing, and I'm going to be stuck working in some stupid job that I hate that makes me miserable that won't further my career.

Well. I know that's how it looks from here, but it's a comfort to know that that's how I felt after college, and look how it turned out. I loved my job(s), I met AMAZING people over the past few years...I can't believe that I didn't know all of these wonderful people back then, and now they're such a key part of my life. Reflecting for a minute about how all those new people have shaped my life in the past three years, it's almost mind-boggling to try to picture how people who are as-of-yet-unknown will influence my life in the years to come.

(Bring it!)

Things have been pretty exciting around here: it's great to be back within spitting distance of my family. This past weekend I went to a cousin's birthday party on Friday and a wedding shower on Saturday, and I ran a race with my sister-in-law on Sunday. I got my nails done with my mom today: a minor thing, yes. But also significant. These are all events that I would have completely missed out on if I were in Washington.

In terms of new things, I can't believe I ran the Falmouth Road Race. Okay, ran, jogged, staggered, might be more accurate, but I'm pleased nonetheless. My dad's been running the race on and off since 1989, so it's always been a part of my life. It's not as though I enjoy running, and I never, ever would have thought that I'd ever run a race, nevermind this one...but, now, still, somehow...I find myself signing up for one race after another. The next one will be a run to Plymouth Rock. How historical! Maybe 400 years ago the Pilgrims ran to the rock when they were being chased by Indians...?

Also, I joined this neat site called bostonlinkup.com. Their motto is "Using computers to get people away from them," which means that it's basically a site for people to find buddies with similar interests for actually doing those similar interests. And these people are great! They kayak, read books, drink, go to film festivals, go running, try out new restaurants, etc. I've been to two events...the second was less than a smashing success...but I'm looking forward to attending more. By the way, they have groups in other cities, so if this sounds like your bag, check it out!

So, this is all to say, even though I'm not where I Hoped I Would Be Professionally (although, to be honest, I anticipated a rough road), I'm not regretting moving back here. Beginnings are always rough, especially when you've been living a pretty cushy life.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

journalistic responsibility

To be honest, I was very surprised (thrilled, but surprised) that they found that little girl Reigh and captured her dad. I was afraid that she was gone for good, off for a strange little life in some obscure South American town.

An article that I read yesterday said that a "concerned citizen" tipped off the police as to their whereabouts. Today, in an article on boston.com, it said,

"The Baltimore Sun reported last night that the tipster was an unnamed real estate agent who rented the apartment to Rockefeller."

I don't know if the Baltimore Sun broke that part of the story, or if they were just repeating it...but I think it's awful that some newspaper revealed that information. While it's important to have the facts on a situation, it makes me wonder if the real estate agent might be in danger now. To know that a "concerned citizen" tipped them off was good enough for me. Just from whom are we protecting the poor real estate agent? I don't know who rented the apartment to Rockefeller, but I'm sure as hell that Rockefeller remembers the guy's face. The kidnapper had money coming out of the wazoo...who knows what type of contacts he has. It seems a bit foolhardy, you know?

Friday, August 01, 2008

hello, mortality

Today I accompanied my mom to my nana's doctor appointment. While they waited for the doctor and had the eye exam I sat outside and read a book on a bench.

After I had been sitting for a while, a really old woman — probably in her 80s or 90s — sat down next to me, and her daughter sat down as well, smoking a butt. They were both waiting for MBTA buses, though for different ones, and the daughter's came first, so when she left, it was just me and good ole' Ruth Young. The woman asked me if I liked my book, and I said that it was horrible, and I was only reading it because I'm doing it for a book club, and it's my first meeting, and I don't want to show up and be all "oh, I didn't finish it, this book completely sucked," so I'm powering through.

We chatted a bit about books, then she was silent, and said, "If I can give you one piece of advice: Don't ever get old." I sat there, a bit speechless, then said, "Oh, I'm trying my best!"

My stupid book is depressing, and my nana's definitely entering the back nine, then this. I try to think of old age in rosy terms...me and my old husband, sitting on rocking chairs, surrounded by grandkids who are wearing sweaters that I've knitted (or, you know, bought). I don't like to think of it as this time when random girls are giving my backside a push so I can reach my walker, like I did with Ms. Young today.

After watching some TV with my family, my dad asked me if I'd take Seamus for a walk for a final "deposit." I said okay...and plunked out there, a few glasses of wine in me, wearing my glasses...overall not my hottest look. A few doors down the street we run into some kids who are playing Relievio and chilling outside, and they surround my dog, all giving him hugs and letting him kiss them. One little whippersnapper goes, "Oh, you're so old now! When I last saw you you were a teenager" - thinking she was speaking in metaphorical terms to my puppy, I didn't say anything. Then she said, "How old are you?" and I realized that she was talking to me.

I responded, in a winey fog, "Oh, I'm 25. How old are you?" And she said that she's 13.

OKAY. First of all. Call it the self-absorbed haze of being a teen, but I had no idea that she lived on my street back then. To me, there are kids on my street, and they run around and ride bikes, and I have to make sure that I avoid hitting them with a car, but I have no idea who they are, where they live, or how many of them live on my short little street. It's not that I don't care, it's just that our lives never ever eclipse ever.

SECONDLY...did she call me old??! I wanted to shake her little shoulders and be like "Cool old?! Or old like your mom old?!"

Oh the cruel twist that this morning an old woman told me to never grow old, then tonight a little girl called me old.