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Thursday, January 5, 2012

I Didn't Know I Was Feeding the Monster

Before you read what I have to say today, you may want to step back in time for some background.

For as long as I can remember, #6 has been one of those kids who spirals out of control when he gets upset. It doesn't happen all that often, thankfully--a few times a month, maybe. The only way I knew to handle this problem was to just try to contain him until he got it under control or give him the freedom to get it all out of his system outside.

You know, sometimes, there's this little something that tells you what to do. From my understanding, it's the Holy Ghost, and yesterday, it helped me understand my son in quite a different way.

After a vacation, going back to school for kids, particularly for my little ones, is tough stuff. They're absolutely wiped out at the end of the day. #6 has come home from school each day this week falling apart. Just too tired to function.

Yesterday, I suggested that he lay down and take a nap. All you have to do is say "nap," and he's lost it--especially if he's already tired. He started to throw a fit.

Normally, I'd walk out the door and let him deal with it, but not yesterday. Yesterday, something made me stop. I stopped, turned around and looked at him. I mean really looked at him, and I realized that this pattern clearly wasn't working. There had to be another means of dealing with this kind of response.

Not knowing what I was going to do, I walked up to him, gathered him in my arms, and he melted. All rage immediately subsided.

I sat on his bed, held him like a baby and sat and rocked my five-year-old son. I rocked him for about fifteen minutes in perfect silence. He closed his eyes and leaned against me.

After this time, he rolled off my lap and moved his head onto his pillow. I sat on his bedside and rubbed his back. I continued until it was clear he was very relaxed then I just sat there for clear signs that he was actually asleep.

He slept so soundly.

When he woke up, I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready. At first, his face was grumpy but changed completely when I responded to him with, "Oh! Yay! You slept so well. I'm so glad you got the rest you needed. Good for you," and I threw my arms around him.

He was a different kid all evening--calm and sweet to everyone.

I shared a situation with him as my facebook status last night. If you read the status, you didn't know the background behind it that made it so noteworthy. Usually, in the same situation, I would expect a negative or apathetic response from him, but such was not the case. Here's that status if you didn't see it:

"Sweetest thing just happened...
In cleaning out a cupboard today, an old fishbowl emerged.
[#6] asked what it was.
[#5] said, 'That was the fishbowl for my fish that lived for like three days.'
'What happened to your fish?' [#6] asked.
[#5] replied, 'A certain two-year-old came along and decided to throw the entire container of fish food in the water.'
Loooong pause....
[#6] quietly says, 'Well, I'm sorry about your fish.'"

What a great story. My daughter is not quite 2, and I know things like this will happen in our lives. Stepping back and listening to the Holy Spirit's prompting and trying something new can change everything! Thanks for sharing and linking up to NOBH!

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Being the "Chief Inmate" of the Madhouse is a full-time job. I share my duties with a giant of a man, whom I refer to simply as "The Warden." He is like no one else. We've been running the Madhouse for more than 20 years and are glad to say that we are living to tell about it. The Madhouse has reached capacity with seven fellow/junior inmates and our equally insane dog Maggie. The Madhouse is my location to, as the Warden would say, "Spill [my] guts" to any and all who will read. So find yourself a corner in one of the padded rooms, and enjoy some time with us. You never know what you might find.

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"If you have an opportunity to help someone in your lifetime, do it. In life, do what's right because it's right, and leave it alone--no ulterior motive. Do what is right. Don't make money from it. Don't write an article about it. Don't publicize it. Do what's right because it's right."