Pissed off with dh and friend

Not sure what I'm most pissed off about here. Have an old uni friend staying this weekend. We got on really well at uni, had lots in common and she was bridesmaid at my wedding and we still keep in contact lots 10 years on. However since uni we've gone in very different directions. We are both homeowners but she is single and very career driven in a competitive field. I chose to go into a less competitive area of my work before becoming a sahm to my now toddler.Just after breakfast this morning I mention I'm going to have a shower and dh says can I open the window so it's not too steamy up there. I say I'll open it when I'm done like normal. He puts in an argument that I should open it during but I say no cos I don't like the draft when I'm in the shower.He is a bit sulky about this and makes a shit comment about damaging 'his' house and friend comments in agreement. It irritates me so I make a comment but try to keep it joky about being told how to shower in my own home and would she allow that? She says no, but her place is just hers and she'd never agree to a shared mortgage so always will be. I (stupidly) didn't leave it there and said ' so if someone moved in with you it'd be ok to tell them how to shower even tho it's their home too?'. She then told me no she wouldn't but then he'd be contributing to the house and I'm not! They are now annoyed that I've suggested that in that case me and my ' contribution' go out (after my shower with the window shut) and have a good day while they enjoy the lack of steam and draft of open windows in the house. Aibu for a) being pissed off at him trying to tell me how to shower, and b)being told I don't contribute to the household?

I think I'd be irritated but I wouldn't strop off I'd think they both were a bit thick and rude to boot.You can be friends with people (and married to people) and have wildly different views on all sorts of things.

I'm confused - why are they saying you don't contribute to the house? If you both own it presumably you're both paying the mortgage? If you own the home equally then you need to address your DP calling it "his" house.

I would have gone nuclear. Your response was really restrained under the circumstances. Hopefully she will have taken the hint and buggered off by the time you get back. I would be having serious words with DH then too.

I'm not currently contributing to mortgage technically as I'm not earning atm. When I was working we shared bills to ensure we have roughly the same amount of spending money left once the necessities are paid. We share the money in the same way now. Yes we agreed to this, he actively encouraged me to resign after maternity leave as his hours can be unpredictable (hes a workaholic)so we would have struggled with childcare.

I suggest you stop all 'house' work - including outside the house too like shopping etc, and stop looking after your toddler and tell DH he either needs to stay at home to look after toddler or pay for full time childcare. And then declare 'This is what not contributing looks like'

They are married. OP is a SAHM and has been told she had no right to decide on her own home if she wishes to have a window open. Because she does not work outside the home. By her husband (who presumably is agreeable to OP being a SAHM) and her idiot friend.

boo thanks for clarifying. I must have missed something in the original post as everyone seems to know you're a SAHM except me!

If your name is on the mortgage then it's legally your home too so he obviously needs to just STFU. They were both way out of order speaking to you like that. Your friend sounds like a bad friend and your DH sounds controlling.