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Behind the cut is an e-mail exchange between a certain ex-roommate of mine beginning on Friday, February 19, 2010 and ending this morning.

Here is the situation… I had his damage deposit still. With the lack of warning and taking 7 days off of work to have a mental break down, I didn’t have the resources to pay him back right away.

I was planning to pay him back the entire amount ($175) but he still owed me for his portion of the utilities for December and January ($88). I had said I’d pay him the entire amount back anyway because he paid for rent in February for not giving me notice, and I said don’t worry about it because I got a new roommate right away. He said not to worry about it.

It’s such a small small amount it shouldn’t be an issue right? Except I really did not have the money for much of the month… so I was stressed about money a lot.

Anyway, I freaked out at him via e-mail. I was trying to be polite to him and I lost it about the unrelated sexual harassment issue. >_<

For some stupid reason I am scared. I wonder if this entire thing messed up my head more than I thought it did. -_-

Hi will you be ok to pay me this weekend? Couse I could wait if you want to. Let me knowSent from my iPhoneE Ortega

-------My Reply:

Hi Rikki,

I should be okay, money is tight cause I took that week off, but no matter. I will take the money out of my bank account (chequebook is still missing.)

I'll drop it by.

Thanks------His reply:

escuchame pay me later i got money on the bank right now and dont need it,

(This was followed with a text message to my phone saying “Did you get my e-mail?”And a note on my car the next day saying he stopped by but apparently I was out cold and he’d talk to me later.)

--------My reply:

Hi Ricky,

Yeah I did get your e-mail and your note on my car. Because of your reply I paid my student loan payments instead so I have 76 dollars in my account. However I get paid on Friday and I also found a check book so I can make out a check.

I probably won't be home this weekend so I'll put it in your mail box or give it to Lovitt.

Thanks!-------His reply:

It's no problem if u don't have it but since u didn't answer I stop by and picked up my mail and knock on the door. My pup broke. Tranny went out. So I'm going to work on it this weekend. So how are you? How is your roomie?--------My reply: I am okay.

The roommate is rarely home which is nice.

Pup? Which vehicle died??

Did you take my mustard when you moved out? It's not in the fridge...

Take care,---------His Reply:

i guess its nice, you like being by yourself anyhow,and besides i dont think you got anything in common,i spend all day in the mountain looking for littlr checko , he is beng missing for a while. my white trucks tranny gave out and i need it for work,im hunting for a new one but theyr about 2000 bucks and i cant spend that kind of money rite now,yes i got the mustard i thought i bought it when i made the hot dogs ill take it back i dont use it anyhow,have a great weekend and have fun,.

--------My Reply (in which I flip out):

Did you fix your car? I don’t understand the bit about checko… did you buy a puppy and lose him?

As for having anything in common with my new roommate, I had far less in common with you, which is to say I have nothing in common with you. At all.

I am still broke as hell and was wondering why I was having trouble paying my bills when I should have the meager amount of the DD to give back to you, when I remembered I took 7 days off of work because I had a mental break down and was too stressed out to sleep to the point that I had to take sleeping pills for two weeks. By missing 7 days of work with no pay I lost $650 dollars of income, and even by you paying rent for February I was still $300 behind. So I think I’m going to deduct utilities for Jan. + Dec. anyway as you told me to ‘cause I don’t have that much money right now and the rest went onto my credit card.

And in case you feel me having to take time off of work is stupid… remember when you said that Dave was in my hallway once and you thought it was creepy? I felt 100 times more violated when you were in the house still writing your porn about me, making little “mmm” noises when I walked by, bent over, CAME OUT OF MY ROOM EVER, and then in the last two weeks watching porn on your computer loud enough for me to hear, jerking off, I felt like I had to sleep with one eye open, it was harassment, I NEVER listened to porn on my computer loud enough for you to hear. I felt more safe when the new roommate slept on the couch in the living room that first night, a complete stranger, than I did the last two weeks you were here. Maybe now you can jerk off and listen to porn loud enough for Andy to hear, maybe he’d enjoy it, because I sure didn’t.

You treated sex like a game or a conquest and I’m not sure you quite understood how unattractive that was, especially when you’d have sex with Rosanne and then complain about her hours later. And then talk about how disgusted you were at your father for doing the same things. It showed your real character, the one that also explained why you had two ex-wives as well. I didn’t care, honestly, but I was never attracted to you because of that and never would be. It’s not your fault of course, its just you. But in case you were wondering, your actions spoke louder than words and louder than any other action you took to make up for it.

I do want to say one thing, “NO” means “NO”, not yes, maybe, sometime, or if you treat me well, promise to pay my bills, give me a child, treat me like a goddess, or anything else.

It means no. Plain and simple no. “Never” also means no. “Not going to” means no. “I’m not attracted to you” means no. “Fuck off” means no. This is not the 1950s and this is not Mexico. While you’re in Canada you’d do good to learn that.

Thank you for leaving and reducing the stress in my life.

--------He did not reply yet. --------

My second reply (this morning):

Okay, I left your check in our mail box with the words "For Enrique Ortega" on it for Mr. Lovitt to give you. If there is anything else please let me know.

Thanks, Marie -------------

So there we go. I freaked out with no provocation. Just lost it when all he wanted was his damage deposit back and to say I had nothing in common with my new roommate. And he was nothing but nice to me when he left, left a table and some chairs and his old microwave and repainted the room. He went above and beyond.

He has not replied yet. I guess I’m terrified of what he’d say if he does reply. And he knows where I live. -_- I hate hate hate fighting, it makes me shakey and nervous.

You know what, I think you just snapped over the gradual build up of EVERYTHING that this guy has pulled on you for the last god knows how long. I'd be terrified if he was freaking leaving notes on my car, and frankly I think you are justified sleeping with a baseball bat in your room! Try not to stress about it too much. Get this out of the way, and get this guy out of your life.

Creepy dude is still creepy and now getting you to think it's your fault? Bad Space. You had a perfectly logical reaction to his comments when coupled with everything else he's said and done. You did nothing wrong. Be careful and safe. *hugs*

You didn't overreact, you acted normally given the situation. Maybe you feel like you lost control (I know that feeling!) but even if you did then at least it's justified.

And here's yet another way of looking at it...

Maybe no one's ever really taught this guy how to act. Maybe his brain doesn't catch social cues and no one's bothered to try and help him. But even if we try to give him the benefit of the doubt, it doesn't change the fact that he has to change his behavior, for his own good as well as for the good of those around him.

So maybe you didn't need to say those things, but maybe he needed to hear those things. If he sees that his actions caused a certain effect from you that isn't pleasant to him, maybe he'll learn to change those actions, and not repeat the same behavior going forward.

I'm of two minds on this. One, that you are right to feel the way you do about what he did while he lived with you and you have a right and a duty to your own self to get these feelings out and to make sure he hears you (though not understand because obviously he would have quit his unwanted advances the first time you told him off if he had any understanding). The other mind is, he is gone now, he's not sharing your space anymore, and you shouldn't be saying anything that might prevent the money you need from getting to you. You're right in how you feel and that he needed to know it but there's a time and a place, and unfortunately, this was neither of them. Regardless, I still support you no matter what.

Oh but I'm in agreement with everyone else who replied to your post: leaving notes on your car is super creepy stalkerish. He better stop this behavior after you get everything you need from him because he sounds extremely creepy and obsessive.