Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (film)

From Quotes

The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.

Gilderoy Lockhart

Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: Me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class; Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League and five time winer... of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile award. But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon banshee by smiling at him [Laughs dryly] Now, be warned. It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to Wizard kind. [Taps a cage with a cloth over it; it rattles] You may find yourself facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm will befall you whilst I am here. I must ask you not to scream. It might provoke them! [Pulls the rag off to reveal dozens of pixies]

Freshly caught Cornish Pixies! [Seamus snickers] Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnigan. These Pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them now! [Opens the cage and the entire class erupts into chaos as the pixies escape] Come on now, round them up, round them up, they're only pixies!

[After being pushed into Chamber of Secrets] It's really quite filthy down here.

[Pretends to faint at the sight of the basilisk skin, then grabs Ron's wand] The adventure ends here, boys. But don't fret. The world will know our story: how I was too late to save to save the girl; how you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body. You first, Mr. Potter. Say goodbye... to your memories. Obiliviate!

Others

Mrs Weasley via Howler: RONALD WEASLEY!!! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR?! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED!!! YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT!!! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!!! Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud.

Mrs. Weasley: Your sons flew that enchanted car of yours to Surrey and back last night!

Mr. Weasley: Did you really? How did it go? [Mrs. Weasley hits him] I mean, that was very wrong indeed, boys. Very wrong of you.

Mr. Weasley: Now, Harry, you must know all about Muggles. Tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

Harry: Oh, um...

Draco Malfoy: Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter? Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a bookshop without leading the front page.

Ginny Weasley: Leave him alone.

Draco Malfoy: Oh, look, Potter. Got yourself a girlfriend.

Lucius Malfoy:[Places the silver snake of his walking stick on Draco's shoulder] Now, now, Draco. Play nicely. [To Harry] Lucius Malfoy. Your scar is legend. As is, of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.

Harry: Voldemort killed my parents. He was nothing more than a murderer.

Lucius Malfoy: Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name... or very foolish.

Hermione: Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Lucius Malfoy: And you must be... Miss Granger. Yes, Draco's told me all about you... and your parents. Muggles, aren't they? [Looks at Ron] Let me see. Red hair, vacant expressions... [Takes a book out of Ginny's cauldron] tatty, secondhand book. You must be the Weasleys.

[Ron's wand is broken]

Ron:[in high voice] My wand. Look at my wand.

Harry: Be thankful it's not your neck.

Ron: Those are Nimbus Two-Thousand and Ones! How'd you get those?

Marcus Flint: A gift from Draco's father.

Draco Malfoy: You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.

Hermione: At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.

Draco Malfoy: No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!

Ron: You'll pay for that one, Malfoy! Eat slugs!

[Ron's spell backfires, causing him to spit up slugs]

Colin Creevey:[starts taking pictures of Ron] Can you turn him around Harry?

Harry Potter: No, Colin! Get out of the way.

Hermione:[in reference to Harry hearing the voice in the corridor] It's a bit strange, isn't it?

Harry: Strange?

Hermione: You hear this voice - a voice only you can hear. And then Mrs. Norris turns up petrified? It's just strange.

Harry: Do you think I should have told them then? Dumbledore and the others, I mean.

Ron: Are you mad?

Hermione: No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn't a good thing.

Man in Portrait: She's right you know.

Gilderoy Lockhart: Allow me to introduce my assistant... Professor Snape. [Snape grudgingly walks up onto the platform] He has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry. You'll still have your Potions Master when I'm through with him. Never fear.

[Lockhart and Snape approach each other, bow to each other, walk a fair distance apart and ready their wands.]

Gilderoy Lockhart: One, two, three.

Snape:Expelliarmus!

[The spell blasts Lockhart across the room.]

Hermione: Think he's all right?

Ron: Who cares?!

Gilderoy Lockhart: An excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape. But if you don't mind my saying, it was pretty obvious as to what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you, it would have been only too easy.

Snape: Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students to block unfriendly spells, professor.

Snape: Weasley's wand causes devestation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Might I suggest someone from my own house? Malfoy, perhaps?

Draco Malfoy: Scared, Potter?

Harry: You wish.

[Harry and Malfoy's duel]

Lockhart: Now, on the count of three, I want you to cast your charms to disarm your opponent. Only to disarm. We don't want any accidents here. One. Two--

Draco Malfoy:Everte Statum!

[Harry is blasted into doing two to three 360s in the air. He gets up.]

Harry:Rictusempra!

[Malfoy does several horizontal flips in the air, landing in front of Snape. He grabs Malfoy and forces him back in place]

Lockhart: I said disarm only!

Draco Malfoy:Serpensortia!

[A snake flies out of Malfoy's wand]

Snape: Don't move, Potter. I'll get rid of it for you.

Lockhart: Allow me, Professor Snape. Alarte Ascendere!

[The snake blasts into the air, hisses at the audience, then lands back down]

Draco Malfoy:[Harry is disguised as Goyle but is still wearing his glasses] Why are you wearing glasses?

Harry:[Quickly removes his glasses] Um...reading.

Draco Malfoy: Reading? [Harry nods] I didn't know you could read.

(Harry, Ron and Hermione discussing about whether or not to ask Hagrid about the Chamber of Secrets)

Hermione: Look, Hagarid is our friend, so why don't we just go and ask him?

Ron: [Sarcastically] That will be a cheerful visit. "Hello Hagrid. Tell us, have you sent anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"

Hagrid: [Appears from behind] Mad and hairy? Yer are not talkin' about me are ye?

Hermione Ron Harry No!

(Aragorg has emerged from the forest and Ron starts to panic at the sight of the giant spider)

Ron: [frightened] Harry...

Harry: Don't panic, Ron.

[Harry goes on asking Aragorg about the Chamber of the Secrets, unaware of the hundreds of Aragorg's decendants who are approaching while Ron looks in horror]

Ron: Harry...

Harry: What? [turns to find they are surrounded by hundreds of spiders]

Harry: [swallows] Well, thank you. We'll just...go now.

Aragorg: Go? I think not. My sons and daughters do not harm Hagrid on my command, but I cannot deny them fresh meat when it wanders so willingly into our midst. Good-bye, friend of Hagrid... [the other spiders crawls forward to Harry and Ron]

Lockhart:[Aims the wand at Harry] The adventure ends here, boys. But don't fret. [Points it at Ron] The world will know our story. How I was too late to save the girl. How you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body. [Aims it at Harry] You first, Mr. Potter. Say goodbye... to your memories. Obliviate![Lockhart is blasted into the ceiling by the spell]

Harry: What are you talking about? We've got to go, we've got to save her!

Tom Riddle: I'm afraid I can't do that, Harry. You see, as Ginny grows weaker, I grow stronger. That's right, Harry. It was Ginny Weasley who opened the Chamber of Secrets.

Harry: No, she couldn't. She wouldn't.

Tom Riddle: It was Ginny Weasley who set the basilisk on the mudbloods and Filch's cat. Ginny Weasley who wrote the threatening messages on the walls.

Harry: But why?

Tom Riddle: Because I told her to. You'll find I can be very... persuasive. Not that she knew what she was doing, she was in, shall we say, a kind of trance. Still, the power of the diary began to scare her, and she tried to dispose of it in the girl's bathroom. And then who should find it... but you? The very person I was most anxious to meet.

Harry: And why did you want to meet me?

Tom Riddle: I knew I had to talk to you, meet you if I could. So I decided to show you my capture of that brainless oaf Hagrid so I could gain your trust.

Harry: Hagrid's my friend! And you framed him, didn't you?

Tom Riddle: It was my word against Hagrid's. Only Dumbledore seemed to think he was innocent.

Harry: I'll bet Dumbledore saw right through you.

Tom Riddle: He certainly kept an annoyingly close watch on me after that. I knew it wouldn't be safe for me to open the Chamber again while I was still at school, so I decided to leave behind a diary - preserving my sixteen year-old self in its pages so that one day, I could lead another to finish Salazar Slytherin's noble work.

Harry: Well, you haven't finished it this time. In a few hours, the mandrake drought will be ready and those who have been petrified will be all right again.

Tom Riddle: Haven't I told you? Killing mudbloods doesn't matter to me anymore. For many months now, my new target... has been you. How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How is it you escaped with nothing but a scar while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?!

Harry: Why do you care how I escaped? Voldemort was after your time.

Tom Riddle: Voldemort is my past, present and future. [uses Harry's wand to write his name in midair: TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE. He slashes the wand and the letters rearrange to become I AM LORD VOLDEMORT]

Harry: You. You're the heir of Slytherin. You're Voldemort.

Tom Riddle: Surely... you didn't think I was going to keep my FILTHY Muggle father's name? No, Harry. I fashioned myself a new name. A name I knew wizard's everywhere would one day fear to speak while I became the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Harry:Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Tom Riddle: Dumbledore's been driven out of this school by the mere memory of me!

Harry: He'll never be gone! Not as long as those who remain are loyal to him! [Fawkes suddenly enters the chamber] Fawkes? [Fawkes drops the sorting hat to Harry and leaves]

Tom Riddle: So... this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender: a songbird and an old hat. [Moves so he is now in front of the giant stone head of Salazar Slytherin; speaks Parseltounge] Let's match the power of Lord Voldemort, heir of Salazar Slytherin against the famous Harry Potter.

Lucius Malfoy: Let us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day.