Because there’s no equivalent in the workplace, people end up giving insane-o reasons for being late — even though they could just say that they had car and/or train problems. Thankfully, the team at Career Builder surveyed employers about the stupidest reasons employees give for being late, and some of them are pretty amazing (I’m looking at you “I was cornered by a moose."

So without further adieu, here are 13 things not to say next time your late:

1) I forgot it wasn't the weekend.

2) I put petroleum jelly in my eyes.

3) I had to watch a soccer game that was being played in Europe.

4) I thought Flag Day was a legal holiday.

5) My pet turtle needed to visit the exotic animal clinic.

6) The wind blew the deck off my house.

7) I overslept because my kids changed all the clocks in the house.

8) I was cornered by a moose.

9) My mother locked me in the closet.

10) The pizza I ordered was late being delivered, and I had to be home to accept/pay for it.

11) The sunrise was so beautiful that I had to stop and take it in.

12) My mother-in-law wouldn't stop talking.

13) My dad offered to make me a grilled cheese sandwich, and I couldn't say no.