Being put on the no invite list

I moved to a rural part of my State in May of last year. I quickly got involved in a 18 to 20 player $50 weekly tournament, which I attended on and off during the Summer. I started playing on a regular basis this past fall, and met another player at the end of the year who hosted a weekly cash game close to where I live.

The group consists of mostly young players in their early twenties. The host is in his mid thirties, and there is one other player in his early thirties. The younger players fancy themselves as being quite good at the game. They brush off their losses to bad luck. The host is a little clever, and the other older player is fairly adept, but he has a tendency of over using aggression to try to win hands. (A strategy that generally works out well for him, but one that he does not employ against the host very often.)

I played a little bit cautiously my first time out because I didn't know any of the younger players, and the host rarely attended the weekly tournament. I won $50, and another $150 the following week. I won $50 to $100 in each of the next three games that I played in. I dropped out for a bit because I didn't care for the fact that most of the younger players were not really in a position where they could afford to lose $60 to $100.

I took a new job a couple of months ago that has me working a lot of hours. I only have time to play on the weekends, which leaves me with the above game. I went out there two weekends ago and sat down half-way through the session and left $290 up. A large chunk of the money that I won came off of the Host and the other older player who had already lost over $100 before my arrival.

Sorry I can't relate, I guess I need to get better at poker. I do host a monthly game and I would never take somebody off the invite list because they were better then me. Actually I do the opposite, if I play a game with a good player a couple of times and they are a decent human being, I invite them to my game. I have been able to raise the level of my game and everybody who plays in it. No words of wisdom for you, hopefully you can find a new game.

My attitude is the same as yours Woody. This is the first home game that I have played in that consists of players that are not of the same peer group.

The host and the other older player win their fair share of money. As Ronoh pointed out, math is easy. I think I am cutting into their monopoly. I have also formed a habit of playing poker on a regular basis, and his game was my only outlet.

The whole thing is somewhat unsettling. I am not strongly drawn to that kind of game, but I am unable to get my fix without it.

Edit: My sentiments exactly Jeff. Do you know where I can buy a poker patch?

I agree with Woody and Jeff. I routinely try to play games with people I feel are much better players. I don't always win, but I enjoy myself myself, and truth be told, I'm probably up somewhat vs these opponents, as they have much much bigger BRs and probably don't consider their losses to me of any significance. So they play very loose.

I've never disinvited someone due to their skill level. I always go on personality and fit. I tend to look for players who are the kind of people I'd like to sit and have a beer with. Now, it doesn't always work out that way, but my regs are people who Id consider friends.

I've seen this happen a few times myself. The winner or better player is not invited back. It's a sad thing to see because, that's the player others will learn from. Tough competition makes you tough. When I can't beat a player, I start watching his every move and decision, until I can put him on a hand, or even just gauge his range. If you aren't winning you still need to learn. The teacher matters, because his skill level must be higher than yours to learn anything new.

Supporter

Hero played a bit in a game where he has generally been a winner but limited his attendance due to concerns about people losing more than they can afford. Hero comes back after an absence {not clear if he was invited or not} and has a big win. Hero doesn't exactly say he was uninvited but worries that he might have been.

I wonder if Hero really wants to come back anyway? The same issue that was troubling Hero is still there {the best I can tell anyway}. People are losing money they can't afford.

We really don't know what happened and can't offer much in the way of useful opinion. This is both a question about social interaction at the game and wondering if Hero has really been "86ed" or just worried that he might be after the game.

<shrug> sounds like hero is not that invested in the game anyway -=- DrStrange

I go with a friend to a weekly game and we are better players then these guys. It is microcash so a big win is 50 bucks. I would not say I soft play too much but if I'm up a bunch late, I do not go for the kill. It is a very social game and while the stakes are below what my friend and I like to play, it sure is a fun environment. I'll also add that if I felt a guy at this table early in the night and am not behind, I'm not likely to go after him if he rebuys. I'm not sure how CT chippers would view my play. It's the only game that happens every week, I don't want to lose my spot, and as a pair we do not collude. We really try to go after each other when the table folds away. I don't really play poker for money. It's nice to win a little but to me it's the equivalent of my wife going shoe shopping with the girls.

I skipped out for three or four weeks in between wins before starting my current job. I dropped out again because I was buried in my work.

I sent the host a text letting him know that I would rejoin the game once things fell into place. He stopped sending me an invite two weeks before my big win. I knew they played on the weekend, so I called to see if they had a game going and was invited over.

I don't know if I have been taking off of the invite list, just a suspicion. I haven't heard anything for the last couple of weeks.

Supporter

As I suspected it sounds like you have absolutely no relationship with the group outside of the game, how else would you have no information one way or the other? It also seems like you really aren't interested in taking things to the next level with the group.

You use them to get your fix, they use you when they need a seat filled. Mojo, the group is your booty call. Keep trying, be happy when you get some and use the internet when you get denied

Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder (meaning, they miss you), but sometimes it just gives people a chance to talk behind your back.

Hope it works out for you. Interested in hearing if you learn anything from the host. Maybe, just for curiosity's sake, you message the host and inquire? Let him know you're new and understand sometimes people are a fit for a game and sometimes not, and that you've hosted and understand that a host has to balance a lot of things To keep a game strong. Ask him if there were any concerns about you voiced by others. Let him I know you arent looking to argue points, but just improve so you don't make the same mistakes in future games. (Assuming they took issue with something you did).

Might be that since you're new, the host was just not used to including your email, etc... I get a number of people that I sometimes miss. I have to keep two lists, an email and a FB. Some guys don't have FB, and some guys want to be invited by FB. The emails are easy enough to make an group, but FB Im going by memory.

Thanks for the posts. Felt a little dumpy that I couldn't get my fix this weekend. I really enjoyed the last game. I like to win, especially against players that make the game interesting. We were playing 5 handed for the better part of the three hours that I was there. We had four players left when the game broke up, the host, myself, the other older player and another around my age who I had never met until that night.

The flow and vibe of the game that evening reminded me of the home games I use to play in. We had $1,200 on the table with .20/.40 blinds. I would have played longer, but they decided to stick to the quitting time.

The host was unresponsive when I told him that I could play on a more regular basis again. Personally, I think the host is looking for an easy game, and I am sure my spotty attendance hasn't helped me any.

I am riding the fence as to whether or not I want to build another poker room. Maybe I will be better off if I enter a 12 step program to break my poker addiction.

Ran into other older player from the home game at the grocery store this afternoon. He told me he lost $330 and that they were $25 short the night that I played. He said the host stuck him with the difference since he was the last one to cash out.

I'd find some way to let the host know you heard what happened, and feel bad that a regular got stuck for part of the shortage (especially since he was down so much). I'd somehow offer to pay the shortage (considering you were up), or do something to make it up to the group, if there's a way to do so without coming across like you're 1- admitting to being responsible for the shortage (or) 2- looking like a dick. You know the people, you know the group (somewhat). I'm guessing that I'd go a long way to easing any concerns they might have that you "may" have been the common denominator in the shortage. New Guy + Shortage, Hmmm? I know what I'd think...

We had a surprisingly good conversation. We exchanged poker stories and discussed the two card games in the area that we have both played in. He is upset with the host, who won over $100. He felt that the host should have absorbed the loss, especially considering how he had lost over $300 and the fact that he is a regular at his home game. He said the host hasn't held another game since, and that he is uncertain whether he will play there again.

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