How do I describe this feeling?

For the past few weeks I’ve had this almost impossible to control urge to write.

But I don’t allow myself to fulfill this desire. Why? Well, I haven’t the time. Between maintaining my house, entertaining my children, work and everything that comes along with it, my time is already pretty much spent.

I do think sometimes of locking myself somewhere quiet and just writing. The problem with this, is that there is currently no place to which I can seclude myself. The only break I receive from little children is when my husband returns home from work.

Even then, though, I am hesitant to hide myself away and write because I want to spend time with him. And sometimes, I’m just so damned tired that I don’t want to do something that will involve excessive amounts of energy, and sometimes writing involves excessive amounts of energy.

I’m beginning to feel dissatisfied with my work. This is a curious feeling as I am actually very excited about my job and the fact that I am now able to use skills I learned and developed a long time ago. I think this feeling is rising out of the fact that I am not allowing myself to write.

Perhaps if I allow myself to write, even if only for an hour, when the urge strikes me and the possibility arises, I will begin to feel better about things again.