Beards and font obsession: Two of the most tiresome hipster fads in human history. Really, it’s amazing that it took this long, but there is now a font made of beards. It’s called the Alphabeard.

Credit to Michael Allen, the designer who came up with it and the guy behind several major marketing campaign designs, though: He put a lot of work into it. Allen essentially had to grow each letter, and the period and comma, on his face before trimming them back. And, in order to get bold and italics, he had to carefully trim each letter until it was the right amount of stubble. Then he had to carefully pull out his beard in Photoshop and preserve each hair so that something resembling letters were visible.

Share This

That said, it’s not entirely perfect; Allen had only so much facial real estate to work with, so some letters, like P and Q, you kind of have to squint to make out. That said, it is kind of impressive he wore this on his face, even if only temporarily. Imagine having to go out and get milk with half a beard on your face.

An impressive design process, though, is not an excuse to use this. Seriously, if you saw the headline and thought that was something you absolutely needed, maybe you need to take stock of your life and its priorities. You might want to take off your Google Glass before you do this, we understand tears corrode the electronics.