Surprise Surprise – you know, the show that gets you between the eyes – is coming back, back, back! to London’s glittering TV. But in spite of Cilla ‘Friend of Nanna gays’ Black still being around, albeit a year behind her silky ginger hair, she ain’t presentin’. No ma’am. Instead, execs (that’s showbiz talk for ‘executives’) at ITV have decided to give the gig to Holly Willoughby. This, in spite of the fact that no one, and we mean no one at all, likes the woman. We did a l’Oreal-type poll of 132-and-a-half women, and the best we got was ‘smug’. The worst was… well, this being a family show, we can’t really say. But it included the word ‘cunt’. We think it may have even been pluralized. Capitalized, even! We know! Some people really need to wash their mouths out. They speak to their mothers with it! Whatever next? Cheese?

That’s it. The end.

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Rating: 4.5/10 (6 votes cast)

Holly 'Fat Tits' Willoughby continues to get work. Despite being utter shite., 4.5 out of 10 based on 6 ratings