I just gave birth to our third and fourth children, and my husband has now stated on multiple occasions in the month since they were born that he plans to get "cut". My suspicion is that he is totally overwhelmed right now. Knowing him, he would regret the choice. Regardless, this is upsetting me for two reasons.

1- Getting "cut" is a circumcision. Getting "snipped" is a vasectomy. I have held my tongue, but I feel every inch of my body tense up every time he says it. It sounds stupid. He doesn't need to get "cut". He was circumcised 30 years ago.

2- He knew very well from the beginning of our relationship that I am opposed to permanent sterilization as a birth control method within the context of marriage. I very clearly stated that a vasectomy or tubal ligation would not be something that I would consider. I said that I could not feel good about making that choice as a couple, and I was not willing to enter a marriage that kept that possibility open. And years later, here we are... married. And here he is... talking about getting a vasectomy.

This is not about beliefs on vasectomies. It isn't about who gets to decide. It's about honoring your partner enough to respect their beliefs and make good on the promises that were made and arrangements that were agreed to before the marriage.