It's been rumored as far back as January, but finally confirmed today: Johnny Depp and his partner of 14 years, Vanessa Paradis, have officially separated (amicably, according to Depp's publicist). "Johnny isn't handling anything well right now," says a source, commenting on Depp's reaction to the break-up. The couple, who have two children together, fiercely denied their separation as recently as last month, calling the rumors "lies." Anyway, it's done now. Just a thought: maybe we can keep the public salivating to a minimum for a while? Break-ups like this are a bummer. [Radar]

Oops! Woody Harrelson just won "entertainment news" forever. Apparently the actor was leaving Carol Kane's 60th birthday party (best detail ever!!!!!!!) when a homeless lady asked him for some moneybucks. Instead of tossing her a handful of change, Harrelson gave the lady $600 cash! And THEN the homeless lady goes, "Woody! White men CAN jump!" which makes literally no sense! Guess what, everyone involved (and that includes YOU, Carol Kane)? I'm dead now. Everything about that story made me dead now. You win. [NYDN]

Jim Carrey professes love for Emma Stone: "We would have chubby little freckle-faced kids, we'd laugh all day long, go camping and play Yahtzee. Tell ghost stories by the fire." Emma Stone is so flattered she can't even tell you: "I was so flattered I can't even tell you. I've always had like weird connections with men in their 40s and 50s. I mean, not in a creepy way. I've never been attracted to them. But I have always become, like, pals with guys in that age group." BUT HOW DOES SHE FEEL ABOUT YAHTZEE!?!?!?!??!? [DigitalSpy]

Forbes has ranked Kristen Stewart at the top of its list of highest-paid actresses, citing her $34.5 million earnings over the past year. Also in the top five: Cameron Diaz, Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie, and Charlize Theron. [E!]

Jennifer Hudson has announced that she's launching a clothing line for QVC, which will feature both plus and standard sizes. "I feel like I represent every woman," Hudson says. "I've been on both sides of the fence. I've been a big girl and now whatever his is, the average size, whatever you want to call it. But I wanted the clothes to be where any girl could wear it-no matter what size you are-and you could feel comfortable in it." Love her. [E!]

Friends of Rodney King, suspecting foul play, say that King was planning to dump fiancee Cynthia Kelly before his mysterious death. [TMZ]

Some bored people are all outraged about adult woman Mary-Kate Olsen smoking a completely legal cigarette in front of Olivier Sarkozy's kid. For shame! If it weren't for her, that kid would never have heard of cigarettes!!! [Us]

Khloe Kardashian says that Kris Humphries is "a good guy." Yeah. Good at being annoying! (Self high-five.) [HuffPo]

Remember Lauren Scruggs? The model who walked into a propellor? Well, she wrote a book about walking into a propellor, and titled it till Lolo: A Spinning Propeller, a Horrific Accident, and a Family's Journey of Hope. Now she's learning to drive a stick. [Radar]

Director Lorene Scafaria talks about her new movie, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (which is really good, BTW) and why texting has ruined everything: "For me, modern technology has ruined romance and movies—nobody can run to the airplane gate anymore." [Vulture]

Kourtney Kardashian says she's afraid to marry Scott Disick after living through her parents' contentious divorce. I feel like the obvious joke here is something about how there are plenty of other, better reasons not to marry Scott Disick, but true confession: I'm weirdly pro Scott Disick. I don't know. I think he's kind of a bumbling dork. [People]

Here is a photo of Angelina Jolie dressed up as Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty. The role of Sleeping Beauty will be played by [some shitty Jennifer Aniston joke]. [People]

It's Zoe Saldana's 34th birthday, y'all! As a present, Us Weekly invites you to say a bunch of judgy stuff about her clothing choices. [Us]