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Bringing Up the Rear

No matter how strongly I think I start out or how much I think I’m pushing, I always end up in the back of the pack.

When I tried to run the Cobequid Trail 5k last August (with no training), I was not shocked to come in 3rd to last place. My goal that day was to finish in under an hour, and I actually did it in less than 50 min.

It’s no fun running alone; having someone next to you to push you is a great asset. So, when I ended up near the back of the pack last week during 1:1s, I was pleasantly surprised to find someone else who was running at my slower—but steady—pace.

With our hill training today, we were going up and down one hill, so it wasn’t as obvious that I was in the back of the pack. My pod’s mentor gave us some super helpful advice about running uphill: small steps and big arms! Who’d have thought my arms would hurt after a running workout!?! But, here we are. We were told that running *down*hill uses an entirely different set of muscles, so that should be fun to learn.

Tuesday night is supposed to be 2:1s and I am slightly terrified of not being able to do it. While I’m running, I really do feel like I’m pushing myself as hard as I can without getting sick, but I do have some circumstances that make it difficult sometimes.

Some backstory: I have endometriosis all over the place in my abdomen and pelvis. Endo (as it’s known to those of us afflicted) causes a great deal of pain as the tissue swells and then produces scar tissue. When you have certain organs stuck to other organs via this scar tissue, there’s even more pain, and you sometimes you Just. Can’t. Do it.

So.

I am going to push myself, and I am sure there will be days when I could have pushed harder, but—hey—someone needs to bring up the rear, right?