Saturday, July 03, 2010

i'm back

I’ve been struggling with this blog. I slowed down on writing for a variety of reasons.

At some point I started writing with the thought that both my mom and my boss might be reading it. Not that I’m writing about anything untoward or that can’t be read by anyone, but it was a different mindset.

I lost my voice. When I read back though the blog the best things I wrote were about being single and my day-to-day life and the delight I see in quirky things. The writing got stifled when I tried to make it too formal – sanitized.

So. Here I am. Again.

I’m 49 now. How in the Hell did that happen? Seriously – how did that happen?

My birthday as always seems like the time to make resolutions, changes. I decided to take a hard look at my lifestyle and myself.

Buying a new car was first on the list. I know the HHR is not the car of a typical mid-life crisis, but it is for chick trying to live within her means. Everyone else seems to morn the loss of the truck more than I do. To a good chunk of my friends and acquaintances my identity is tied to the truck.

I’m working on paying off debts -- yes, buying a new car seems counter-intuitive to that. It’s amazing how much you can save if you put your mind to it.

I’ve made great strides in organizing my house. Last year was all about necessary repairs – new garage roof, water-heater and plumbing. This year I hope it get the house painted and new gravel for the driveway. Again, not the sexiest of projects, but things that would make my house my own.

I’m also working on some intangibles.

Being a more thoughtful and generous friend, for one. In the old days I was on top of birthday cards and thank you notes. I used to leave jars of flowers and sidewalk chalk notes outside of friends doors. At some point I got too busy or too lazy for that.

Although I have a very active social life, I tend to do things by myself. I’m working on making plans with people. Planning to meet people at the pool vs. hoping to run into them. Carpooling to a show instead of going by myself. Dinner with friends instead of a bag of popcorn by myself.