Balloons

Kent Couch, of Oregon USA, rigged 150 giant balloons to a garden chair and took off, drifting 380km (235 miles) on his flying machine.
After nine hours in the air, the g­arage owner used a BB gun to pop enough balloons to land safely in a tiny town across the state border.

In a similar incident, Grandmother Wynne D’Sisted of Calais, France found herself floating across the English Channel on a garden sun lounger.

“My grandson, ee iz responsible, I fall asleep on ze garden chair, ee attaches the balloons and then I wake up to find I am a UFO.At my age, it is too hideous an ordeal.I will kill the petite merde!”

RAF fighters were scrambled when Folkestone residents reported the sight of a large, grey, irregular shaped object passing overhead, accompanied by the sound of air escaping under pressure through a small hole.

“I cannot ‘elp it,” said Madam D’Sisted, “Whenever I am nervous I have the attack of ze gas!”

Don’t worry, gentle reader, the old French woman was returned to Calais the same day using a trebuchet at Dover Castle.She will not be enjoying fine English cuisine and hospitality at the tax payers expense.