10/10/2016

Random Observations on Last Night's Debate Between Hillary Clinton and an Inflamed Asshole

At what point in the 48 hours prior to the debate, between Donald Trump's "grab 'em by the pussy" tape and his entrance onto the stage in St. Louis last night, did the Republican candidate for president and Heathcliff the cat on bath salts decide, "You know what my strategy will be? I'm going to be such a creepy, condescending cocksucker that everyone in the country with a brain will want to punch me right in the throat. That'll win me new supporters, especially among the ladies." Because that's what it seemed Trump had decided, along with "I'm going to be an utter ignoramus on issues that you won't know if I've ever even heard of any topic beyond a talking point I read in the shitter before coming out here."

In a night when Trump sniffed and snorted and hocked verbal loogies all over Hillary Clinton, calling her a "devil...with hate in her heart...[who'd] be put in jail" by a magical special prosecutor, and in a night when Trump was asked
-- a question about his talking about sexual assault and answered, "ISIS,"
-- a question about whether he paid taxes and answered, "ISIS,"
-- a question about the humanitarian crisis in Syria and answered, "ISIS" (which was the one time it was at least regionally relevant),
the most important moment may have been silence, when Hillary Clinton didn't respond to Trump.

Trump had teed up this whole big fuckin' show, having a brief press conference with three women Bill Clinton allegedly assaulted and a woman who was raped when she was 12 and whose rapist Hillary Clinton was appointed to defend. He had wanted the women to sit in the family box so that, at the beginning, Bill Clinton would have to walk past them when they all entered. Instead, they sat in the front row of the audience. So, basically, Trump wanted to freak out Hillary Clinton.

Then he went further, essentially accusing Clinton of aiding and abetting rape: "Hillary Clinton attacked those same women and attacked them viciously." Nothing Trump said was true. Not a motherfucking thing, other than the fact that the women exist and, yes, Paula Jones got a settlement (not a fine, as Trump said). All this shit was litigated, literally, in some of the cases, in the 1990s. If Clinton were Trump, she'd be suing him today.

When it was her turn to answer, she simply...let the whole fucking thing drop. She did the rhetorical equivalent of brushing her shoulder, treating Trump like another simple-minded baboon on a congressional committee trying to get her to break down over Benghazi. She moved on to all of Trump's sins, leaving him looking like the last guy at an orgy, wondering why there are no holes for him to put his tiny, half-tumescent dick in, forced to skulk around and glare at all the people screwing while he eats chips and dip and fucks a piece of furniture.

It's hard to be on the high road. It's lonely. And part of me wanted Clinton to go all "Have you no decency" on his ass. But Trump would have made one of his dumbfuck little faces and said, "Oh, yeah, you can talk about decency" before rambling on about some other Breitbart-based bullshit, that being the only website that is idiotic enough for him to understand.

I could go on. I could talk about how much of what Trump said literally made no fucking sense even when it wasn't a lie. I could make a passing reference to how Clinton didn't really answer the question about what was revealed by Wikileaks, just so you could say, "Oh, look, he's trying to be balanced here."

Instead of that, let's end with this: If you are voting for Donald Trump, you are a piece of shit. You are worthless, you are terrible, and I'm ashamed to say you are my fellow citizens. I have never felt that before about any election, and I've been through two George W. Bush wins. Well, one win. I don't want to reason with you. I don't want to convince you. I want you and your kind to dry up and become dust in the history of the nation.

That's my fucking analysis of that ridiculous goddamn debate last night. Now, can we please fucking talk about climate change and other shit that matters at the next debate? Or do we not want Trump to have to work that hard?