King Kong is a noble attempt to bring a 20th century film classic back into the public eye using 21st century technology. Too bad it was only that: an attempt. Great effects are not enough to make a great movie...and unfortunately, many of the effects in King Kong are not worth the sacrifice...

It's hard to pinpoint exactly where King Kong jumps the shark, but I'd say it's 15 minutes into the 2nd act. The laborious pacing and excess slo-mo "stutter blurring" scenes already didn't bode well, but it's when (SPOILERS) certain characters are running amidst a stampede of brontosaurus (END SPOILERS) that things take a turn for the worst. Unfortunately, Jackson not only stretches the running time of this movie like taffy, he stretches the suspension-of-disbelief like Kirstie Alley in a size 8. The effects in this scene are just BAD, I half expected Conan O'Brien to come whizzing by driving his desk.

Although the Ape himself looks great (no doubt due to the motion capture acting of Andy Serkis), the rest of the effects just don't seem to have that detail. Far too much green-screen, not enough tangible elements. Jackson would do well to heed Ridley Scott's adage "just because you can do it with CGI, doesn't mean you should". Where is the glorious use of "Bigatures" that we saw in the Lord of the Rings trilogy? They seem to have taken a back-seat to the gloss and shine of digital wankery here. I can't help but feel that Jackson and crew were downing Johnny Skyywalker a bit too much...so many scenes just reek of WETA nerds jerking off on their computers. I guess if the annoying bloat of Revenge of the Sith didn't bother you, it won't bother you here.

What really derails Kong is the screeplay. There are just too many plot-holes and unnecessary expositions. Yeah, I get the similarities between the expedition and Heart of Darkness, I don't need 3 scenes shoving it down my throat. I don't need a bunch of character expositions of people that are going to die very shortly. Ensign Smith from Star Trek didn't get his own story arc, why should the Cook onboard the ship? It's called EDITING, check into it. What happened to the natives of Skull Island, they simply disappear with no explanation.This movie would've been great entertainment if they'd just cut out 30 minutes of unneeded bloat.

The cast is good enough, but Jack Black was a questionable choice. I love Black, but he brings a certain amount of context that just doesn't work in this movie. MISCAST. Brody is okay, sleepy looking as usual. The radiant Naomi Watts is the perfect Fay Wray type. The best performances come from Andy Serkis, Kyle Chandler (Early Edition) as the cowardly filmstar, and Thom Kretschmann as the rugged captain.

I will say this about King Kong 2005, you don't quite know what's coming. Given the goofiness established earlier in the film, I was half expecting the Mega-Ape to break his chains and start flinging gigantic fistfuls of poop at theatre-goers. One could say Jackson has done precisely that.