Friday, September 10, 2010

Plans to go up in flames

A fire similar to one which will burn in the Square tomorrow (pic courtesy of Arthur Brown)

Anti-housing protesters are all set for a book-burning protest in Petersfield Square.

Following the lead of crazed nutcase Terry Jones, who is organising pyres for the Koran in America, some of those rich enough to be Petersfield homeowners have organised a pointless protest of their own.

"We’re aiming to build a bonfire using as many copies of East Hampshire District Council’s Core Strategy Document as we can find," said Mrs Barby Kew of Petersfield Residents Against Things (PRATs).

The conflagration stunt is aimed at stopping plans by the council and evil developers to build five tower blocks and seven sink estates in any available fields, plus gardens and lay-bys all around the town.

"If burning some of their prized documents won’t stop them, I don’t know what will," added Mrs Kew. "It’s got to be more effective than one group of fairy-tale believers setting fire to the sacred text of another group of fairy-tale believers."

But developers look set to hit back. Sir Bradley Screwem, chairman of Nazi Housebuilders PLC, said: "If these nimbys go ahead with this preposterous idea to try to stop the democratic process, we’ll just set fire to a few trees on Causeway Farm and torch the playing fields at Penns Place.

"That way there will be less to clear once we get on with the building."

Petersfield’s Tory MP, Damian Hindsight, took a few minutes away from slashing public services to comment: "What are these bloody people whinging about now?

‘We’ve put these plans out to the usual consultation process which, as everyone knows, means a few meetings and some public hand-wringing before we go ahead anyway…"