addicted to a video game

last year after school in summer vacations i was alone in home and had nothing to do since i dont have a good social life so i started playing dota2 and everyday i played more and more till i was playing like 10-12 hours per day[still same]. and i couldn't leave it after vacation so it harmed my school and ofcourse family relationship.i know i should stop playing and distract myself to better things but i just cant do it. whatever i do i think about what im gonna do in next time im playing[when i play i really feel being alive and its like there's nothing matters about what happening outside of game in my life]

i dont know if its a love to game or its just a strong kind of addiction. any advise?

Give your console away and do more outside of the home. Because of your mental issues you're hiding in cyber Land as an escape from your reality, which you can change with effort and not using "I'm addicted" to avoid doing it. You choose to play because you have no other options.. Make some.

Dear Archi, your gaming is a way of numbing out, dissociating, avoiding.

I've seen your other thread about sexual abuse. There are things in your mind that you're frightened to face. The main one is grief for the many losses of childhood. No doubt you're hiding from what Pete Walker calls "emotional flashbacks" for fear they will overwhelm you.

I have worked with numerous clients whose tears immediately triggered them into toxicshame. Their own potentially soothing tears elicited terrible self-attacks: “I’m so pathetic!No wonder nobody can stand me!.” “God, I’m so unlovable when I snivel like this!” “I**** up, and then make myself more of a loser by whining about it!” “What good iscrying for yourself – it only makes you weaker!”

The shortcut through grieving is to have a witness to your pain, someone who will say the right things and not try in various ways to shut you up. If you had just one empathic friend you wouldn't be stuck as you are, feeling cut off from everybody around you. It would appear you have no one willing to listen to you, so I would strongly suggest you find a counsellor who's trained to deal with trauma.