To think this is really grabby- bordering on cheekyfuckery?

That's another level of CFery. If you invite people to a birthday party, surely you will host and cater? OK I could understand if someone is unexpectedly strapped for cash, and offers that instead of gifts, people could pay their own entrance. But to ask people to PAY for the party AND give gifts?

Send DS but without vouchers. If CF complains, tell her that well of course you understood the deposits were instead of the vouchers she initially asked for, otherwise it would be really cheeky!

It will be sad for your DS to miss out especially at his age but I can understand why you’d give it a miss. That’s not exactly a birthday party, it may as well be a school trip! Of course you shouldn’t have to pay for absolutely everything, the transport isn’t even provided as mentioned in the invitation since she’s now asking everyone to pay for it!

just out of interest how much does it actually cost at this carting place? not only does it look like she is covering her sons place but she must be making a tidy profit at £70 a head for a whole class our local carting place is £25 a head for kids parties!

Only fools- I texted 2 other mums that I recognised the surnames of in a cheery smalltalk way and they’ve both accepted.The birthday party mum told me she needed deposits so she could hire ANOTHER bus so loads must be going?

Also- there’s no way they will let 30 kids on a track so I suspect they’ll be loads of hanging around etc

She is without question, a cheeky fucker! Ordinarily I would decline on account of the ridiculousness but you say he's at a new school...that does make a difference. If going to this party is going to help him make friends and settle in then I might have to suck it up and just seethe privately.

That's not a birthday party, it's just an event that coincides with a birthday. I'd tell your DS that it turns out it's not a party after all and you'll be taking him and a friend separately as it's cheaper that way.

Ds is at a newish school - he was so happy to have been invited to a karting birthday party - turns out the whole class were invited - details were - the date- the activity-transport provided (it’s a 80 mile round trip) and a request of Amazon vouchers for present. In the last few weeks since they broke up I’ve been updated with further texts from the mother of birthday boy asking for deposits for the karting (£20) and the remainder on the day (£30) THEN that was followed up by a request for £20 for the transport

This morning she (in my opinion) has the gall to request we pack a generous picnic with ice packs and pack extra so the birthday boy doesn’t have to bring anything

I was going to decline following the minibus request but ds was so happy to be invited - I think this is the final straw and I’ll instead take ds and a friend karting myself at this rate

DH says I should like it or lump it and if everyone else seems to be going then it would be a shame for ds to miss out