Rants, reasoning, resolutions & other randomness from this journey of life

Monthly Archives: November 2016

It’s been a stressful week. Busy shopping week means busy work week with my writing job. (And the work schedule is not very conducive to Adri’s school schedule anyway). Then peak-order season with the gift shop (Which I’m definitely not complaining about…I just wish I’d have had more time to add some new items to the shop before now). And with a million other things to do around the house, to say I’m frazzled would be putting it mildly. Time always goes so fast and there’s never enough of it to do what you want.

Today was Adri’s Thanksgiving “feast” at school. And even though she was late (because of a mixup over when I should bring her since it wasn’t one of her regular school days), she made it – and with her pineapple contribution in tow. So there’s that at least.

But after having to go back home and work more before going back to the school for the feast, I had barely enough time to put myself together and definitely not enough time to shower first. I broke a bra and broke a nail in my haste…And I was still a few minutes late.

She didn’t mind though. She was excited to see me and have me try the fruit salad and buttered rolls they made this morning. (And it was yummy).

After eating and playing for a bit I had hope return thinking I could salvage some of the plans after all. The morning may have been a disaster but we could still make her teachers a nice, crafty, thank-you gift tonight to give them tomorrow at school…Until I was reminded when we were leaving that Adri doesn’t have school again until next week.

Defeated, I sighed when we got into the car to leave school and head to the grocery and said, “I’m sorry, monkey. I wish I could’ve been there for your whole day at school again like Halloween and that we weren’t always so rushed, but Mommy is just a bit of a mess lately”. Without hesitation she replied, “It’s okay mommy. We all have messes sometimes. I love you and your da best mommy”.

I could’ve broke down, but God knows if I did right now it might not stop. Sometimes I’m not really sure what I’m doing; Feeling pulled in a million directions and I think I’m doing everything wrong. But it’s little reassurances like that that tell me I must be doing something right.

I may have plenty of other things in mind that I want to do, but sometimes there’s just not enough time. And I have to remember that that’s ok. That my house work may get a little behind (or a lot) when I’m working two jobs and momming. And that sometimes our dinner won’t be completely homemade…or even semi-homemade for that matter. And that’s ok.

The important thing is that we are laughing together in our slightly (or extremely) messy house. That we are together enjoying our homemade, semi-homemade or not-at-all-homemade dinners together, that we’re always there for her when she needs us, and that her daddy and I love her bigger than the sky. Through grief, through chaos, through it all. That’s what it’s all about.

…And just to keep me from being too wishy-washy all day, she was a total ass in the grocery store afterward, So I guess it’s also about balance. 😜

But I am so thankful for the blessings in life (even the ones that don’t always seem like blessings at first). I appreciate the crazy, busy weeks. And I am so grateful for my family and for the love of this sweet little girl who, even at under the age of 4, understands that life can get chaotic, but it’s okay. As long as we have each other, it’s okay. And when we focus on that, it’s more than okay. It’s great. Chaotic, messy, busy, hopeful, fun, full of love, running-late, great. And if we can’t get all of that greatness to fit into one day, we’ll be hopeful, grateful, and blessed to be given tomorrow to give it another shot.

So in case I don’t get a chance to say it later this week when things are even more chaotic: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope your blessings are more than you can count…But I hope you’ll take a minute to stop and try to count them anyway.

I haven’t been able to watch the news much this week because it’s a little heartbreaking watching people act out in such a way – from both sides. And today all I can think is what it feels like to be a Veteran seeing these images of burning flags by your own people. What a shame.

While this country is torn and seemingly losing it’s f%@#ing minds, burning flags and terrorizing people and towns, let’s stop and remember what that flag actually stands for…What today actually stands for. It’s meaning goes way beyond who our president is (or isn’t). It is every one of us and all the lives risked (and lost) protecting it.

So before you go supporting any type of violent action against any other human or against that flag, think long and hard about the freedoms you have because of it and those that serve and protect it;

Before you go posting about fleeing this country all because of an election;

Before you go pretending that you and your views are any more important than anyone else’s in this country;

Before you go a moment further being ungrateful for all you have because you are too focused on what you don’t have,

Stop and remember all of those who died and who risk their lives every day protecting our freedoms;

Protecting our rights to protest;

Protecting our rights to vote and be heard;

Protecting us.

US.

U.S.

We may not all agree on anything when it comes to politics. We may not agree on the need for war at all. But without these brave men and women fighting these wars, you wouldn’t even be able to protest. So I think we should at least all be able to agree that a tremendous thank you is in order (and an “I’m sorry” wouldn’t hurt either).

This month being the month of gratitude and this day being a day of remembrance, let me just say that I am thankful for my hard-working “uneducated white male” husband, my raging lesbian sister, and my many other friends and family who come from so many different (some completely opposite) walks of life and political and religious beliefs but are some of the best people in this world because they remind me every day that in this “land of the free”, even at our ugliest, we can still coexist and love one another despite our differences. I wish the rest of the country could do the same.

And last but certainly not least, I am extremely grateful to all of our veterans past and present and everyone of our servicemen and women for the work they do protecting our freedoms…Even if we use them to act like “spoiled brats” or “deplorables” sometimes. 😉

Thank you.

Thank you to all of our brave men and women serving this country. I am sorry that we act so despicable sometimes and make you feel that we don’t value what you do for us. We owe you everything….Or at least so much more.