I knew I wanted to be with Siddharth - Vidya Balan

We are both private people and a wedding is a very personal moment. So we chose to keep it simple. There was never an intention to hide it but we didn’t want it to become a spectacle either. (Laughs) I want to share my joy with the world but it wasn’t humanly possible to invite everyone. But we hope we have everyone’s blessings.

Has marriage changed anything?

(Laughs) It’s just been a couple of weeks, so I don’t think anything has changed. But I love being a newlywed.

No, seriously...

(Thinks) I’m no longer staying with my parents. That’s a major change. I’m going to miss waking up every morning and seeing my parents, my sister, brother-in-law and my twin niece and nephew. But my family stays close by; I can go and see them whenever I want. (Laughs) Every morning my niece and nephew would come running to me. But now I have someone else running into my arms.

What about Siddharth attracted you to him?

The kind of person he is. (Winks) I won’t talk about the other things that attracted me to him. When things are meant to happen, they just do. That’s the most beautiful truth of life. We keep looking for things in life, whether it’s love or success, but when you’re least expecting it, your dreams walk in and embrace you. That’s the most beautiful feeling and you know you’re home.

And when was that?

(Smiles) I have to thank Filmfare for that. You’ll be amazed to hear this but it happened at the Filmfare Awards night in 2010. After receiving my award for Best Actor (Female)for Paa, I was rushing out as I had to catch a flight to Delhi where I was shooting for No One Killed Jessica when someone from UTV introduced me to Siddharth. I knew of him as the CEO of UTV Movies but I’d never interacted with him. That was our first meeting and a brief one.

Apparently, Karan Johar also played Cupid between the two of you…

Well, Siddharth and I met again at a dinner at Karan’s house. We ended up talking a little then. So I guess Karan intentionally or otherwise did play Cupid and God bless him for that. And, yes may God bless Filmfare too. You guys get full credit.

When did you actually start seeing each other?

I don’t know. It’s weird because I usually remember dates easily, almost like that guy from Dil Chahta Hai. But in this particular case I don’t. Maybe, because it was here to stay. Something inside told me we would be together.

We’re sure you remember your first date with him. How did that go?

(Smiles) I’m not about to tell you. It’s not like we started seeing each other instantly but I do remember thinking to myself that he was such an easygoing guy. I don’t know how it all happened. I didn’t stop to analyse or figure out what was happening. I just felt I could be myself with him. I could laugh out loud like I normally do. I could speak my mind and yet I had butterflies and they were all dancing. It was just magic.

You got married at 33. Would it have been different at an early age?

I don’t think there’s a right age to fall in love or get married. But I’m happy I got married when I did, when I felt ready. I’m sure being married at 33 is different from getting hitched at a younger age. At 33 you know what you want. I have my set of ideals and idiosyncrasies but I always had them. It’s a very basic thing but I don’t like my clothes being put into my wardrobe. I like to do it myself. I won’t even allow the house help to do it. Even if I lose my memory and you ask me where I’ve kept something at home I’d be able to tell you.

Surely, Siddharth and you must have your differences…

(Laughs) Arrey, we’re still in our honeymoon period yaar, it’s too early to speak about differences. Having said that, where there are two individuals, there are bound to be differences, no? I’m yet to experience married life, considering I’m just married. But I know enough people who believe marriage means a lot of adjustments and as long as you don’t see them as compromises, you’re safe. When you truly love someone and that person makes you love yourself, a marriage works itself out.

You’ve been on your own for so long. Now you have to share your life with someone. Does that scare you?

(Laughs) A lot of people tell me that sharing a bathroom is actually a big deal. On a serious note, I’m really looking forward to sharing my life with Siddharth. There’s space in ‘my space’ for this someone else.

Why did you choose to get married in times when couples chose to live-in?

Marriage isn’t just a stamp of approval for a relationship. It’s the highest form of commitment and I knew I want to be with Siddharth. Some people are happy living-in but that’s not for me. I believe in the institution of marriage because I’ve seen beautiful marriages around me. And if and when we have children, I don’t want them to go through issues because we aren’t married.

Any more reasons?

It’s never easy breaking away, even when you’re living-in or just in a relationship but maybe marriage gives you that extra impetus to try and make it work. And there are families involved. You’re only gaining in marriage. Like my family is gaining one more member and so is his family. (Winks) And we’ll only add to it.

Right from the Kanjeevaram sarees to the Mallipoo (scented oil) in my hair and the kolam (a kind of rangoli) outside my door, I’m completely entrenched in a South Indian upbringing; the customs and culture. We’re not ritualistic though. Also prayer is part of my upbringing and it’s integral to my being.

Does it stem out of fear?

Prayer is often reinforced to assuage fear or fulfill wants. But you learn over time that prayer is also gratitude and importantly love. I’m discovering the joy of saying ‘Thank You’.

Isn’t that also being spiritual?

To me, spirituality means a state of unconditional love and acceptance of self and therefore of others. I still have a long way to go.

Coming back to your newly married status, do you at times miss being single?

No way, I don’t miss being single at all. I was single for a long time.

What is it about Siddharth that annoys you the most?

I hate the fact that he’s so punctual and I thought I was the most organised. But he beats me at it.

One thing that you love about him...

Amongst other things, what I admire about him is the warmth with which he meets people. He’s non-judgmental and accepting.

As a star you’re always watched. Where do you get that private space for a relationship to blossom?

A couple needs little space. (Winks) The lesser the private space the more exciting it gets.

How do you like spending time with him?

I love going for long drives, even if it means late at night.

Which film of yours is his favourite?

He really liked me in Kahaani.

Any movie he dislikes?

(Laughs) I don’t have the guts to ask him if it’s Heyy Babyy or Kismet Konnection.

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