Archives

Welcome to the archives of Elizabeth Esther's Blog.

NOTE: Please be patient with these archives! Because they are imported, some of the images may look a little wonky and some of the internal links may not work. I suggest that you use this handy little search bar to find what you're looking for.

Let me preface this by saying my definition of "Weather" is 62 degrees and lightly raining. I start grumbling about the weather as soon as I have to exchange my flip-flops for closed-toe shoes. And I know it's REEEEALLLLY bad when I have to put on a sweatshirt.
This is California, land of a bazillion accidents on the freeway when it barely starts to sprinkle. Welcome!

But I don't think we're the only ones who exaggerate about the weather. Tonight on CNN, some doofaloo reporter was out on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago getting blown all over the place and yelling into his mic about this blizzard being THE WORST EVER IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY! LOOK! LIGHTNING!

All of this to say, I know NOTHING about stockpiling for Actual Weather. But I do know a little something about stockpiling for Armageddon. BECAUSE WHICH IS MORE LIKELY IN MY LIFETIME? Armageddon, duh!

I would also like to note here that just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you're a generous, kindly stockpiler. Oh, my heck, no! You are going to STRIP those Wall-Mart shelves of EVERY.LAST.PROTEIN.BAR because, OBVIOUSLY, ain't no time for Mr. Nice Guy when the four horseman are comin' to town, yo!

Survival Manuals: these instructional booklets will help qualm your fears using inspirational quotes and Bible verses. Ideally, they'll also provide step-by-step instructions for killing your neighbors in order to takeover their stockpiles. How else are you supposed to survive seven years of plagues and beheadings?