Gael's Blog

Confidence Challenge Jan 2015: Make 3 Rules for 2015 that you will truly want to keep.

Saturday, January 24th, 2015

The day before yesterday I had planned to plough through a backlog of paperwork that had piled up on my desk. But the sun was shining and I felt like going out and about. I went for a walk and dropped into our local arts centre for a coffee. While I was there, I bumped into a friend whom I hadn’t seen for a couple of months. I decided my paperwork could wait for yet another day, and stayed over lunch to enjoy a catch-up conversation.

On several occasions my friend commented that I appeared to be more relaxed and than she had seen me for a long time. The first time she told me this, I expressed surprise. I had been feeling pretty stressed out since we last met. When, as we were leaving she repeated her observation, I laughed and said maybe it was because I had just had a lovely weekend staying with some friends whom I rarely get to see nowadays.

While walking home I reflected on what my friend had observed about me and on my responses. I thought to myself: I am so glad my friends suggested that I should stay for two nights instead of only the one I had planned. Having a longer weekend had obviously done me good – and so, of course, has seizing today’s unexpected opportunity to lunch with another friend.

Suddenly ‘a big penny dropped’ in my mind. I realised that, although I hadn’t been consciously aware of it, over the last few days I had been truly living by one of my own top three life rules:

Spend more time than you think you can afford on the relationships that matter most to you

No wonder I was looking relaxed and more positive!My friendships are relationships that matter very much to me. I know full well that I need, and want to give them good-enough time.When I confronted myself with the fact that I had let my standards slip in this respect , the ‘good’ excuses began to flow into my head: You became a grandmother; You had to spend a good deal of time out of the country; You had a few health issues etc etc

But I have heard these mitigating pleas too many times before. Arguing with myself over such issues is pointless, (not to mention depressing). So, I stopped my self-talk and started to do what I needed to do. I set about making a public commitment to change: I began by writing this blog!

Your Confidence Challenge this month is to make three personal life rules for 2015. Then, you can join me in committing to respect these rules as often as you truly can. As we know, self-respect and feelings of positivity are crucial to maintaining confidence.

Here are your tasks:

Note down a number of things you have done that have brought you happiness, self-esteem or inner peace in 2014.

Note down what you have done or failed to do that left you feeling disappointed, regretful or ashamed in 2014

Using your notes to guide you, create three ‘ life rules’ that will help ensure that you have more of list no 1 than list no 2 in 2015.

Share your rules with a good friend and ask them to tell you when they see you going astray.

Note how you will reward yourself when you have resisted the excuses and stayed steadfast to