My daughter wears wet clothing.

My daughter has some strange habits. Like completely washing her shoes including soles before and after every wear and wetting say black jeans to make them more black because every shade of a colour that she wears has to match perfectly. I have been happy to let her get on with it up to a point but now she is drenching everything under the tap before putting it on. Shoes and all. I cannot let her go out like this and my husband is outraged I have let it get to this point. She will meltdown if I interfere with anything she does and she is becomes agitated at any demand I make of her. I am absolutely lost on how to cope with this and help her with this compulsion.

In regard to your daughter's habits, the following link takes you to a section of the National Autistic Society's website all about behaviour: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour.aspx. This includes a section on sensory differences.

Additionally, you may wish to discuss your situation with the team at our Autism Helpline. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm), although please note that the Helpline is experiencing increasingly high demand, and you may not reach them straight away.

I can understand your daughters obsessions with colours and tones. If she is insistent on everything being very black in colour and tone, then I have achieved this in the past by buying clothes that are white or grey and consist of similar textile components, only to dye them one colour, such as black. I found that in most cases, the results were fairly satisfying although not perfect. I'm not saying it will solve the issue, but might be an option to explore. Maybe if she is involved in the process she will be more connected and accepting of the results.

I used to colour my textile trainers in black marker pen as well, which I would touch up regularly for an even coverage and tone.