Punishing The Friend

DEAR ABBY

December 31, 1998|DEAR ABBY Syndicated Columnist

Dear Abby: I have a terrible problem on my hands and desperately need your advice.

Several years ago, after enduring a nightmare marriage for 27 years, I left my husband "Joe," with the loving support of a dear friend I'll call "Sally." I found a kindred spirit in this funny, gentle, intelligent woman -- and without her I don't know how I could have survived that terrible time in my life. We were virtually inseparable. We did everything together, and I must admit I've never been happier. We were always there for each other.

But after three years of trying to make it without a husband, I caved in and remarried Joe. The problem I'm faced with is that I no longer have a place in my life for Sally. She does not fit in with my "married crowd." She's a single mom, and even though I love her dearly, she's quite eccentric and my husband does not approve of her.

My question is, how do I "break up" with a girlfriend without hurting her? -- Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place

It's not surprising that your husband disapproves of Sally. Where was your "married crowd" when you needed support after your "nightmare marriage" and no longer fit in with them?

If you really wanted to, you could maintain the friendship despite the altered circumstances. However, since you don't -- show her this column and, I assure you, she will understand.

Dear Abby: Just a few words to let you know what happened after you printed my letter about the donation of frequent-flier miles to the Make-A-Wish Foundation:

The overwhelming number of phone calls the Make-A-Wish Foundation received at their national office prompted them to set up a special phone line. Northwest Airlines WorldPerks members donated more than 800,000 miles in two days. And in addition, the foundation's Delta Airlines account was credited with more than 5 million miles during the month of July!

Bless you and your many readers who made this possible. -- Sid Fisher, Palm Springs, Calif.

Dear Sid: That's terrific news, and I know my readers will be as pleased as I to read it.

Dear Readers: Have a happy, healthy and prosperous 1999. And remember, if you're driving, don't drink; and if you're drinking, don't drive.