23 November 2008 2:50 PM

Well, farewell Australia Fair. It’s time to come home and face the chill of an English winter.

It’s good to know the Aussies have weather men who get their forecasts wrong, too. A third tropical storm that we were promised would probably force a postponement of the rugby league World Cup Final and play havoc with our flight schedule, never materialised.

Instead, the only storm that broke over the Suncorp Stadium tonight was whipped up by the rank outsiders New Zealand and a ‘Pommie’ referee who awarded the Kiwis a ‘penalty try’ on their way to becoming world champions for the first time ever.

In my book, our referee was spot on with his decision and the Kiwis who, of course, sent England packing a week early by beating us in the semi final, after previously beating us in the ‘super pool’, deserve their bragging rights for the next five years.

That’s how long it is until the next rugby league World Cup when England hope to stage it. But no doubt the Aussies will want to keep it, like they kept the trophy for 33 years.

So much for all those smug Aussie journos who kept saying the World Cup was a total waste of time because only their lot could win it and everybody would be better off on the beach.

The way the weather has been in Queensland lately, if you ventured on to the beach you would never be seen again.

Crazily, the weather today in Brisbane has been tropical without the rain or the lightning. Just hot as hell. And humid.

So I’ll sign off with a few memories, good and bad, of my latest trip to Oz — all five weeks of it.

GOOD: A better World Cup than I expected with the plaudits going to the no-hopers like Papua New Guinea, Fiji, Ireland - particularly Ireland -and Scotland, not to mention the Kiwis.

A few interesting days in Townsville, Northern Queensland, where they reckon a crocodile was running (if that’s what they do!) amok on Magnetic Island with an antennae sticking out of its head.

If you ventured close enough with your lap top, you could log on quicker than broadband. Then again, there was every chance the crazy crock would have you and the lap-top for lunch.

Sydney’s Darling Harbour and the ferry across to Manly from Circular Quay. A whole nation going crazy and dressing up to the Nines for Melbourne Cup day, even if you didn’t happen to be in Melbourne.

Melbourne, when we did go there, was okay and memorable for the mad motor cyclist who didn’t give ‘a rat’s arse’ for our taxi driver’s broken wing mirror, having u-turned in front of him.

The Hunter Valley vineyards. I could spend a fortnight at the Pepper Tree vineyard , just sitting in a rocking chair on the verandah and contemplating my glass of red nectar.

Brisbane beats the lot for me for the Kookaburra paddle steamers, the City Cats and the splendid dinner the World Cup organisers put on for us on Friday night.

The adventures of ‘Mrs Doubtfire, alias Ray French of the BBC, and all stemming for his revelation that he went into the wrong apartment and realised the wardrobe was full of women’s dresses.

I’ve heard the news got back to Liverpool St Helens Rugby Union Club and that they have got a life-size poster of ‘Mrs Doubtfire’ to welcome him home. And, by the way, he doesn’t like Japanese soup!

BAD: England’s performances. Played four, won one, gone home early. Must do better next time — if there is one.

Newcastle. Sorry, nothing personal, but our travel agent dumped us in the worstpart of town and the smallest hotel and even the landlord of the ‘Duck’s Nuts Pub’ described the area as ‘Beirut’.

The nightmare of trying to get back into town from isolated rugby league stadiums where you can’t get taxis for love nor money. Except in Brisbane.

The weather. Let’s face it, it has been ‘rubbish’ most of the time, following us from Queensland to Victoria and back again.

Trying to cross the road, any road, in the big cities. All the ‘little green men’ are on strike.

Cockroaches and golf-ball sized bugs in Parramatta.

Internet problems and having to file copy at two o’clock in the morning. The consolation is that you can have a lie-in and a late breakfast.

Filing copy? Funnily enough, that’s what we are here for, covering the Rugby League World Cup. It’s been a hoot and the company has been good. But I’m sure my room mate Martin Richards will be glad to see the back of me until the new season starts.

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21 November 2008 12:27 PM

They call Queensland the Sunshine State but it has gone haywire in the last few days.

One minute it is scorching hot and everybody is melting, the next it is bucketing down and the sky is aglow—just like the pictures of the blitz over London in wartime.

It’s no joke for the people whose homes have been reduced to matchwood by flash floods, burst river banks, gales and falling trees.

Amazingly, the weather dried up yesterday long enough for Australia’s cricketers to get bowled out 20 for buttons at The Gabba by the Kiwis and for the populace to walk the streets in shorts and t-shirts.

Then, last night, someone upset the Gods and the heavens opened again. Worse than the other day. A crazy electric light show which went on for hours with hailstones the size of golf balls bouncing off the cars and streets. What the hell is going on?

You would think the Aussies had been dumped out of the World Cup, not poor old England.

Media people covering the World Cup were invited to a well-known journalists’ watering hole called The Jubilee Hotel in Fortitude Valleyfor a little tete-a-tete. You needed plenty of fortitude to get there, queuing for taxis in the torrential rain.

And parts of the Jubilee were under water when we got there but, thankfully, none of it got into the ale.

There is more on the way, by the weekend, and the World Cup Final itself was under threat until the press office put out a re-assuring message today that the pitch, which has soaked up 400 mls of rain since Sunday, can cope.

After all, what are a few broken windows and bit of damage to the stadium roof, to worry about.

But don’t let anyone tell me there is a drought in Queensland. The front page of the COURIER MAIL this morning carries the banner headline ‘Nature’s Fury’ and calls the storm ‘cyclonic’.

Crazily, Brisbane is as different again this morning. Blue skies, glorious sunshine and sweltering temperatures. I have just come back from a trip down river on one of the famous Kookaburra Queens, an authentic paddle-steam built with traditional Australian timber in the 80’s for World Expo ’88.

A seafood buffet, a glass of wine and the sun beating down. Light entertainment was provided in the shape of an old seaman w ith a handlebar moustache called Colwho played ‘The Saints go Marching Inn’ on his piano-accordian.

Legend has it that my good friend Alan Thomas, former Daily Express rugby league correspondent and now retired chairman of the Rugby League Writers Association, was booed off the stage for singing ‘Barefoot Days’ when Wigan played Brisbane back in the 90’s.

The trouble is, the weather is going to turn nasty again and already the devastation in this part of Queensland since Sunday is going to cost the insurance companies an estimated $500 million.

Sunshine or not today, the Brisbane river was full of storm debris today.

The only consolation to those of us who are used to being pelted by rain day after day back home in England is that the rain here is WARM.

….

The arrival in Brisbane of family members of some of the English press corps has caused a certain amount of consternation to one of our group. Not myself, I hasten to add.

He shall remain nameless but he took umbrage at being asked to switch apartments three times to accommodate the new arrivals—until he discovered his window overlooked a lap-dancing bar!

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19 November 2008 4:55 PM

England may have flopped in the main event here but Australia have not had everything their own way.

Great Britain’s Armed Forces and the England wheelchair squad have both won subsidiary World Cup competitions—the Armed Forces beating Australia 26-16 to win the Defence Forces World Cup and the wheelchair squad beating the Aussies 44-12.

Obviously, where there’s a wheel, there’s a way.

Maybe Tony Smith’s squad deserve some credit for behaving themselves on tour although rumours abound that they were a pretty miserable bunch while in camp.

Can’t win, can they? Although we knew that already.

Funnily enough, one of the local newspapers expressed surprise that the Aussie and Kiwi players at the International Player of the Year Dinner on Monday night behaved impeccably and left immediately the function was over.

Guess what, the sun came out for a few hours in Brisbane today while the clouds were re-fuelling in readiness to empty another load of rain on the city tonight.

So another pile of clothes has gone into the tumble dryer after another drenching, walking back from treating esteemed Brisbane Courier Mail rugby league correspondent Steve Ricketts and his wife Marie to dinner.

Nice restaurant but grossly overrated. The menu must have been written by a government ‘spin doctor’ because it was fanciful gibberish. I am going to send for him when I need somebody to tart up one of my stories—or even my blog.

Steve told us a few horror stories about tropical storm damage in his neighbourhood since Sunday. One of his neighbours saw his home reduced to a pile of wood and slates and after surveying the debris, walked away and hasn’t returned.

With England’s happy band all on the way home —or even home by now— the stay -behinds are trying to further our education by visiting areas like Bulimba, Glass Mountain, the Gold Coast or the Sunshine Coast.

But we are heading to a press conference at Brisbane’s Holiday Inn in the morning to meet up with RFL executive chairman Richard Lewis and International Federation chairman Colin Love to find out whether the World Cup has made a profit and what the IF’s plans are for the next five years.

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18 November 2008 6:28 PM

After living in the Manchester area for 40 years I’m used to reaching for my umbrella. But Brisbane has been like the Niagara Falls for the last few days.

The place is awash and the rain doesn’t show any sign of abating. Australia and New Zealand are due to start a test match at The Gabba on Thursday. They have got more chance of playing water polo.

As the late Les Dawson famously said in a TV sketch about Noah and his ark: ‘It was at this pregnant moment in history that Noah turned to his wife and said, Nellie, I think it’s set in for the day.’

BBC Radio Manchester’s Trevor Hunt pointed out that at least England’s sponsors Gillette would be happy because they issued the media with waterproof jackets carrying their logo.

Ironically, it is only since England have been dumped out of the World Cup that we have had a chance to wear them..............................................................................................................................

Now England have departed the World Cup, several of the media corps who are staying until the bitter end, are boldly trying to see a bit of the outback.

They soon came back when they found everywhere a wash or shrouded in mist.

Some of us headed for the world-famous Breakfast Creek Hotel tonight and were in danger of being washed away.

If the glass roof of the Spanish garden restaurant had caved in under the unrelenting deluge we would have been drowned. As it was, the twenty yards we had to walk to get into our pre-ordered taxi to return to the centre of Brisbane was like standing under a waterfall.

I have just returned to our apartments and thrown all my clothes straight into the tumble dryer—and was tempted to jump in with them.

The weather is so bad that the Fun Day planned for fans to meet the Australia and New Zealand teams at Queens Park has been cancelled.

Instead, it has been switched to one of the schools outside the city quite badly affected by the storm, giving hundreds of school kids a treat—and a free barbecue.

Breakfast Creek is still a great night out, terrific steak, and a few jars with recent arrivals Allan Rowley and John Penkywiecz from Leigh. Fathers of famous sons, they have come out for a bit of a holiday but too late to see any of England’s matches. How lucky can you get?

They don’t appear to have any stomach for watching an Aussie-Kiwis final. They are more interested in finding some sunshine—probably up on the Great Barrier Reef. .............................................................................................................................

Ray ‘Mrs Doubtfire’ French, Martin Richards and myself bumped into ‘Man of Steel’ James Graham outside Brisbane’s Central Station this morning. He is sticking around for a week before heading for a holiday in Mexico.

James had just taken a call on his mobile from his St Helens team mate Paul Wellens, who left Brisbane 30 hours earlier. ‘I thought he was phoning to say he was back home, but he had only got as far as Dubai,’ said James.

It seems that ‘Wello’ and some of his mates had been marooned for several hours in Melbourne, Singapore and Dubai. They’ll be lucky if they get home in time for the new season.

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17 November 2008 7:11 PM

The lights went out for more than England’s World Cup hopes over the weekend.

The worst storm to batter south east Queensland for nearly 20 years left 145,000 homes without electricity and a trail of wreckage in the Brisbane area.

Most of the England squad have already left for home, only James Graham and Gareth Ellis staying to attend the inaugural International Player of the Year Awards Dinner at Brisbane’s Suncorp Stadium tonight.

This new event has effectively kicked the annual ‘Golden Boot’ Awards Dinner, organised by Rugby League World magazine, into touch.

Geoff Carr, chief executive of the RLIF, the international federation, says it is time the most prestigious awards ceremony was run by the game and not by a magazine.

But Rugby League World still holds the patent for the ‘Golden Boot’ so that will be presented at another dinner in Sydney on November 29, as part of the Rugby League Professionals Association.

It all seems a bit daft to me because once the World Cup final is out of the way, at the Suncorp on Saturday, everybody will be heading for the beaches or for home.

And 15 awards were dished out at tonight’s dinner including the ‘International Player of the Year’ award, equivalent of the Golden Boot, which went to Melbourne Storm and Australia full back Billy Slater.

So they might as well have the Golden Boot ceremony on Bondi Beach and round up a few holiday makers, surfers and beach bunnies.

Mike ‘Stevo’ Stevenson was one of the presenters at tonight’s ‘do’ and had a pop at all the moaners who are still arguing the World Cup is a waste of time because Australia are nailed-on winners.

He said the smaller nations had made it a great competition and that 6,000 England supporters would be cheering for New Zealand in Saturday’s final. That’s if they turn up. Most of them are so disillusioned after England’s failure, they have lost interest.

Apparently, England replica jerseys are available in the shops ‘two for the price of one’ but Australia rugby league shirts are outselling Wallaby rugby union jerseys for the first time ever.

xxx

League legends at tonight’s glitzy awards dinner included Wally Lewis, Mal Meninga, Alfie Langer, Glen Lazarus and former Great Britain player and coach Malcolm Reilly.

Current England manager Graham Thompson told me the players were all flying home business class but not as a group because of the difficulty of getting enough seats and even then they were having to fly out of Sydney or Melbourne.

The bad weather—it has continued all through today—led to some of the English media having to cancel a boat trip to Moreton Bay and the paddle steamers were not venturing up the river today, either.

xxx

A Fan Day is planned for the World Cup final squads on Wednesday with a free barbecue on offer at QueensPark. I hope it is better attended than last Thursday’s equivalent ahead of the England-New Zealand semi-final.

Three hundred England fans were expected but only a handful turned up and the organisers were left with more than 200 barbecued sausages and an equivalent number of bread rolls. They were very tasty, too.

xxx

Parting shot: One of my colleagues, who flew out to the World Cup a bit later than the rest of us, was gob-smacked at Singaporeairport when a Chinese guy misunderstood the instruction to take off his belt before passing through the metal detector. Instead, he dropped his trousers!

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16 November 2008 7:12 PM

A tropical storm hit Brisbane today. The sun shone gloriously this morning and the temperature soared into the eighties on Queen Street shopping mall.

Fabulously hot and a wonderful show of ‘live’ entertainment at the top of the mall—a group of young entertainers doing a ‘Kids from Fame’ show.

It was a nice way to wind down after England’s depressing defeat by New Zealand at Suncorp last night when we were lucky to get a train back to Central Station an hour and a half after the match.

All of you who think these tours are a joy-ride should try waiting for taxis, trains, buses or even legging it back into the city centre when you’ve still got work to do.

‘Dinner’ was another takeaway pie and sandwich from the Convenience Store. Crashed out after writing our Sunday paper reports and then got up, hours later, for a sunshine breakfast.

One problem in Australia…they can’t do eggs. Either they come raw or, if you ask for ‘over easy’, they come burnt to cinders.

I’m told one rugby league fan asked for his eggs to be ‘up and under’.

Bit of a worry while having breakfast today, just outside our apartments. An ambulance pulled up and the crew rushed in complete with full emergency kit. We thought Ian Laybourne’s lap-top had finally given up the ghost! The Press Association representative has been churning out words by the thousand. What a pro!

Fortunately, he wasn’t the unfortunate victim. In fact, he had got up early to fly to Sydney for the Australia-Fiji semi final. The rest of us were still mourning England’s demise.

Never mind. The hottest day of the year was here and we were happy to melt in it.

I have never been in a country where people walk around with umbrellas up when the sun is shining. Now I know why.

Suddenly, as forecast, the blue sky clouded over and spectacular forked lightning peppered the area. What did they used to tell us? Wait for the lightning, then count the seconds to see how close it was.

Boy, this was close. Queen Street was awash within minutes, including a couple of clowns dressed in Father Christmas outfits walking over the Victoria Bridge. It’s hard to believe Christmas decorations are going up all over the place when it’s 80-plus.

I don’t have a problem with that at this time of the year but would have done if I’d been in their shoes, sorry, boots.

Seriously, the rain came down Hollywood-style. Cue Gene Kelly splashing about doing his 'Singing in the Rain' number or Morecambe and Wise parodying it. We were were lucky to be able to shelter under the canopies of a splendid bar restaurant where they kept us provided with baskets of chips. I suppose it helped that we were shifting a fair amount of white wine. None of which, I hasten to add, will appear on our expenses claim.

More forked lightning, more rain and the lightning was so spectacular we called it ‘Blackpool hallucinations’ Joined by the Irvines who certainly know how to enjoy themselves --even when it's wet.

I felt sorry for the guys stuck at the top of the ‘Big wheel’ because nobody seemed too bothered about getting them down although they did have a great close-up of the ‘hallucinations’.

The streets were turning into rivers so it was more by luck than judgement that we made it back to our apartments, comparatively dry. Quick rub-down and Martin Richards and myself got our work out of the way before venturing out into the tropical downpour to watch the Australia-Fiji semi final and have a bite to eat.

It will soon be time to go home but not while we have a full diary this week. Player of the Year Dinner tomorrow night, trip up the Brisbane river on the paddle steamer, night out with the Aussie press, lunch at Breakfast Creek, eve-of-the World Cup Final dinner. We’d swap the lot to have seen England in the final.

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14 November 2008 10:27 PM

What is going on in the England camp in the build-up to the World Cup semi final against New Zealand?

Their PR is a laughing stock. Forget the speculation about their coach being interested in doing a 'Don Revie' and quitting to join an NRL club. They are playing their biggest game for more than a decade today and Tony Smith doesn't appear to want to talk to anybody.

New Zealand do, so it smacks of either fear or arrogance. Either way, it is hardly doing English rugby league any favours.

...

Thousands of England fans have poured into Brisbane, loyal to the core. They deserve a performance worthy of the cross of St George in the Suncorp Stadium but whether they get it is another matter.

They are dumbfounded by rumours that the England coach could be jumping ship and returning to Parramatta, the club where he started his professional coaching career.

To be fair, it could just be mischief-making by the Aussie press although the time for that is before the World Cup final, if England are lucky enough or good enough to see off the Kiwis.

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The sun came out in Brisbane yesterday and my tee-shirt 'Yes, I did go to Wembley' attracted some puzzled looks.

Let me explain. The Daily Telegraph's David Burke presented me with it after Rochdale FC, my local soccer club, got to Wembley for the first time in their history last season, in the League Two play-off final.

It happened to be Rochdale's centenary year and 'Burkey', a Port Vale fan, and the rest of the media corps heard about my frustration about being asked repeatedly if I actually went to Wembley on the big day. They heard how I responded to that question angrily by saying: 'No, it was peeing down so I thought I'd wait another hundred years.'

.....

Walked down to Eagle Street Pier to make sure the old Mississippi paddle steamers still go up and down the Brisbane River on their special lunch and evening cruises.

The attraction is the seafood buffet, featuring the famous Moreton Bay Bugs. They must be the ugliest lobsters known to man but they taste fantastic. Hopefully, I will be able to partake of that fine fare next week, whether England make it to the World Cup final or not.

Bumped into former Castleford and Warrington coach Darryl van der Velde, who was having lunch on the pier side with ex-Cas centre and now players' agent Ron Hill.

Kevin Sinfield was also out for a stroll down by the water, with his family, and later encountered Rob Burrow in Brisbane's manic city centre shopping precincts.

....

I walked past a pub called The Victory in Charlotte Street. It was boarded up. Obviously it didn't win them all!

....

My room mate Martin Richards is having trouble logging on to the broadband network and was mortified to be told all the 'hot spots' in Brisbane had been closed down. He could get by with a memory stick but he can't remember where he left it.

....

Martin's long-time pal Steve Ricketts, RL correspondent of the Brisbane Courier Mail, joined us for a few bevvies last night and took us to the biggest casino in town.

It seemed to have more fruit machines and gaming tables than Las Vegas and just as many losers. Let's hope England are not one of them today.

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13 November 2008 3:35 PM

More fun in the lift when the media party arrived in Brisbane for the final stop in our World Cup journey even if England make it through to next week's final.

The Oaks Festival Towers on Albert Street have a similar security set-up to the Circle on Cavill in Surfers Paradise. You pass your key over an infra-red light to get up and down to the appropriate floor. Martin Richards and myself, now sharing a four-bedroom apartment with BBC Radio's David Oates and Alastair Yeomans, are in room 507.

Simple enough to get in the lift and press Floor 5, except when you get in a lift that only has 'even' numbers. Later, got in another lift to go down and met a woman carrying a casserole dish full of mushroom soup. Because she didn't have a spare hand to pass the key over the electronic panel, she had been going up and down for an hour and the soup was cold.

Very smart apartments but a cockroach was heading for the lifts when we were heading out to find a taxi. Hope it had a key.

....

The coach trip up to Brisbane was fairly uneventful because most people fell asleep. All the 'work' is catching up with us after a month away from home!

Depressingly, the rain followed us all the way to Brisbane but the sun came out at the Brisbane Broncos Leagues Club, where sausages and hot dogs were available at an organised Fun Day. Thankfully, so were a few of the England players, with Adrian Morley in splendid form despite all the flak that has been flying in England's direction for the past two weeks.

One of the Kiwi press corps asked Mozzer if the rumours were correct that he was going to play on the wing in the semi final - to provide four-try Matu Vatuvei with some real opposition. The Broncos clubhouse is magnificent - like a glitzy night club. Suddenly realised Christmas is coming up hard on the rails when I saw all the decorations in the foyer.

.....

They have a 'Hall of Fame' gallery in the entrance to the apartments block. A quick look revealed the likes of Burt Bacharach, Shirley Bassey, Elton John, Marilyn Monroe, the Marx Brothers and various sporting icons. But, sadly, no Ray French! ...

Remind me not to go for a swim anywhere in Queensland. They have closed down several public swimming pools because of the danger of people being electrocuted. And in another news item which made me chuckle, some young guy on the Sunshine Coast was fined $300 for 'speeding' on a skateboard...on 'the wrong side of the road'. He was charged with the 'dangerous operation of a vehicle'. Since when has a skateboard been a vehicle?

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12 November 2008 5:29 PM

Cheer up at home, Australia's weather is 'rubbish', too, and it is supposed to be summer.

Theme parks abound on the Gold Coast and one of them 'Wet 'n Wild' fits the bill perfectly. It has been like that most of the day here. Thoroughly miserable. And it didn't improve my temperament when I missed the bus to Runaway Bay, just north of Surfers Paradise, where six-times world speedway champion Ivan Mauger lives since his retirement from the track.

Not that I would, necessarily, have found his house because I've only got a P.O. Box number. Then again, surely everybody has heard of 'The King'! But it was a missed opportunity and no doubt I'll get a flea in my ear when I telephone the maestro when I get back to England.

Having said that, I hate just 'dropping in' on people unannounced when they might have others things to do. Even more so, when I don't even know whether he is 'on the road' as he is most of the time.

What's happened to the Aussie construction industry?

Time to buy some souvenirs but the first cuddly Koala bear (pictured of real Koala bear left) I pick up says 'Made in China' and I'm not having that.

One of my grandsons, who has the world's biggest collection of diggers, is complaining I have been away too long. So I have to find something in construction to keep him happy. And it must say 'Made in Australia.'

Elevated security makes a three-floor journey in a lift a bit of a nightmare

It has been an up-and-down sort of a day, particularly in the twin towers of the Circle on Civall Apartments. Martin Richards and myself were invited to dinner by the Irvines, Chris and David, tonight.

They reside on the 15th floor, three levels below us. But do you think we could get the lift to stop at the 15th floor... no way!

All this safety-first technology of flashing your door key in front of a screen and pressing button No 15 is rubbish. We went up and down like a yo-yo before asking for help at the front desk.

They had to ring the Irvines to ask them to press another sodding button to let us get off at their floor because ours is programmed only to let us out at the 18th floor or the lobby.

We turned up at Chez Irvine just in time to partake of some splendid home cooking by Irvine Snr, former Guardian tennis and rugby correspondent.

Animal magic

It was more or less a day off for everybody today with the England squad going to the zoo in Sydney and our party scattered to the winds, including Byron Bay.

Ignored calls all day from Ray French in case he wanted some more Miso soup.

Has the little green man suffered from Australia's credit crunch?

One of the biggest problems in Australia is crossing the road. All the big cities have six-lane carriage-ways and you have to wait for 'The Little Green Man' to flash. Either he hasn't got a rain coat or he has been made redundant because you can stand there all day.

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11 November 2008 6:15 PM

England's under-fire players formed a huddle on their training pitch in Brisbane this morning but it was not a rehearsed response to the Haka again ahead of Saturday’s World Cup semi-final.

They were simply observing a minute’s silence (pictured) on Remembrance Day for those who died in two world wars on the 90th anniversary of the end of the 1914-18 conflict.

England coach Tony Smith said it was purely coincidental that the players formed a huddle just as members of the British media arrived at the training ground from the Gold Coast, an hour’s drive away.

The uneasy truce between the players and the media continues. Only one England player, St Helens winger Ade Gardner, was made available for interview and then only for three minutes.

Surfers Paradise? Perhaps for Leon Pryce - as it's more like blustery Blackpool at the moment...

The atmosphere has not been helped by the unseasonable weather in this part of Queensland.

It rained in both Brisbane and Surfers Paradise today and it was as breezy as Blackpool. No, Leon Pryce didn’t say that! He is still being pilloried for suggesting, on the last Tri-nations trip two years ago, that he preferred Blackpool to Bondi.

Well, I prefer Surfers Paradise to most UK holiday resorts but I prefer it a whole lot more when the sun stays out and the wind drops.

You have to be a pretty hardy soul, or an idiot, to venture into the surf in this weather. The rip tide is so strong it could sweep you up to Brisbane quicker than a bus ride.

Japanese adventure is a break from French cuisine

Ray French, esteemed BBC TV commentator and ‘I just want three minutes for Merseyside’ radio pundit, is a traditionalist when it comes to food. So it was with great reluctance that he joined myself, Ron Hill, Martin Richards, and Chris and David Irvine for a Teppanyaki meal at a local Japanese restaurant.

He was horrified that he had to drink his Miso soup straight from the bowl and asked for a fork instead of chop sticks for his main course. But after a plateful of scallops, prawns, chicken, salmon and steak, plus the obligatory white rice, he was positively glowing about it.

I regard that as a triumph.

The worst kind of embarrassment

Three Brisbane Broncos players have apologised to their families, sponsors and their club over an alleged incident in a bar in Fortitude Valley two months ago.

They were accused of taking part in sex acts with a woman but police said there was insufficient evidence.

That hasn’t stopped one of the trio, Broncos test full back Karmichael Hunt, from saying that he felt like ‘the scum of the earth’ for embarrassing his parents.