Rekindle the romance with your clients

February has long been synonymous with Valentine’s Day, romance and relationships. Retailers revel in reminding consumers that the more time, energy and money they spend on this one day, the deeper their devotion and love.

That, of course, is a myth. If over the past 11 months you’ve neglected, or at the very least marginalized, the most important relationship in your life, there typically aren’t enough roses or champagne available to repair the damage.

The truth is that expressing your appreciation and affection to those you love is a consistent exercise. We think the same theory holds true in professional relationships.

Experts have as many theories on relationship development as Hallmark has cards, and each one claims to be the key to help you save your relationship. Whether or not these ideas actually work in one’s personal relationships is for other “experts” to determine.

However, when we applied some of these theories in the context of client relationship development, many of them turned out to be myths (and potentially damaging ones).

We separated the myths from the facts, as we see them, and came up with our top three tips to help love-starved lawyers looking for ways to reignite the romance between themselves and their clients.

Myth No. 1: Play hard to get.

This may be a good way to land that special someone, but in the legal profession, playing hard to get with your clients is a good way to lose them.

Fact: You and your clients are far better served when you communicate on a consistent (if not regular) basis. Be responsive, listen, find ways and reasons to reach out and get in front of your clients. The more you listen, the more you learn about them and their businesses. The more you know, the better you are able to help them solve their problems and even avoid future ones.

Myth No. 2: Add a little mystery to the relationship.

While keeping your romantic partner guessing might be just the ticket for adding a little spice to a boring relationship. Keeping your client guessing will only generate resentment and trust issues.

Fact: Work on intimacy. If you can’t build trust with your client then you’ll never be able to do the best job possible for them. Clients need to know that they can rely on you to keep their best interests in front of your own. That requires that you invite them in as a partner in the relationship, not just a billable account. Talk often about what you’re going to do for them, periodically check in to confirm that their goals haven’t shifted, then listen and, most importantly, address their concerns. Keeping surprises to a minimum, both in court and on monthly billing statements, is a sure way to build trust.

Myth No. 3: Bigger is better.

Spending an excessive amount of money on a diamond ring will result in a deliriously happy fiancée. Spending an excessive amount of your client’s budget will result in a lost client.

Fact: As is frequently the case in personal relationships, the little things mean a lot. In business-development parlance, where costs continue to be a driver, you should consistently search for ways to provide added value to your clients. Some easy ways to show you care:

• Forward articles or blog posts on topics that relate to them or their business. It shows not only that you understand what matters to them, but that you were thinking about them as well.

• Invite them to a game, the theatre or the symphony.

• Recommend a book, a restaurant or a vacation spot based on their interests and hobbies (see Myth No. 1).

• Introduce them to others who may benefit from their services or whose services they may find useful.

• Offer an in-house presentation on a current legal trend that could impact your client’s industry.

• Be open and flexible when it comes to alternative fee arrangements (which does not mean just giving them a discount).

All healthy relationships require work, but anyone who is lucky enough to be in a good one will tell you it is well worth the effort.

So this month take a moment to re-evaluate the relationships you have established with your clients. Ask yourself: Do they only hear from me once a year during the holiday season or when a billing situation arises?

If the answer is “yes,” chances are the relationship is in peril, and like the neglected lover on Valentine’s Day, don’t be surprised if they leave you holding a dozen roses in your hand and a questioning look on your face.