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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Biblical Horror

After two roles of a liife time (Million Dollar Baby, and Boy's Don't Cry) Hilary Swank has nowhere to go now but down I suppose.

One of Swank's next movie will be The Reaping, a biblical horror film coming out this november. This film deals with Swank's character, a former missionary who after the death of her family struggles with God and comes to the conclusion that God does not exist and all his miracles can be explained away in a scientific way.

It is for these convictions she gets pulled into a small Louisianna town when it appears that they are experiencing the 10 plagues in their own time.

If you watch the preview for this film (linked here) you will see that this film begins to look real ridiculous when the horror element is thrown in with what looks like a small girl playing the child of Satan who appears to be causing the plagues to happen ("Evil has a Savior" is the last thing they say in the preview).

Also, this film officially has the worse tagline of any movie I can remember...it's long and incredibly wordy. Do they really need to use the word bizarre? I understand plot-wise why they would say "many believed to have been the Ten Biblical Plauges" but come on, it's a tagline.

I'm a Swank fan. The fact that she was able to hold her own on screen with Pacino in Insomnia really won me over. Nonetheless, this movie looks like garbage. Just seeing the association with the writers behind House of Wax is enough to give me the heebie jeebies.

I HATED Million Dollar Baby for it's disingenuous and manipulative final half hour. I'd enjoyed the film quite a bit until the last half hour, which made me feel tricked and scammed. I think that making a couple of crap b-movies is fit punishment for this otherwise fine actress.

thousands of years ago: really? like two, three, four? any idea folks?there was a series of bizarre occurences: sure, you could say that. red blood water flowing through the Nile; every first-born dying; that type of bizarre occurences.that many believe to have been the Ten Biblical Plagues: WHAAA??? was there a different set of plagues? were the biblical plagues predicted and the occurences merely confused for those predictions? did someone just screw up royally and mistakenly confuse Ten, the Bible, or Plagues?

i don't think the real problem is its length. the problem is it doesn't make a phyookin' lick of sense.

like, who the hezekiah would think that something so specific and direct as the Ten Biblical Plagues would reoccur? why should anyone expect that to happen again? who would dare dream such a thing as...?

A long time ago, several bizarre occurences happened that many believe to be the Biblical prophecy of the apocalypse. Turns out that it was just another summer of woefully crappy movies from Hollywood.

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