Dear
Ms. Employer:
Please accept this letter as an expressed interest in joining
your firm in the capacity of senior sales representative at
Verbatim-Ink. My resume is enclosed for your consideration
and I believe the experience and knowledge I've acquired may
well match your needs ...

Dear
Board of Directors:
Please accept this letter as official notification of my withdrawal
from the XYZ Society. Had I known it was a vehicle for subtle
harassment and the depth of its insensitive practices, I would
never have joined. When I signed-on I was under the impression
that your organization was a purposeful method of restoring
and revitalizing the former glory of the XYZ. Instead, it
is clearly a stage for restoring and revitalizing authoritarianism
with mean-spirited measures. I am deeply disappointed. Please
exclude me from your roster and remove me from any further
communications ...*

Dear
John,
It pains me to write this but out of respect for you (as well
as my own peace of mind) I cannot let it go much longer. I
know you know, in your heart of hearts, that things have not
gone well these last few months and despite how often and
how hard we've tried, we just can't seem to get it right.
And God knows, we have both tried our best ... *

To
the Editor:
Regarding your editorial of October 12, I suggest we all agree
to disagree. Attacking jaywalkers like snipers perched atop
a water tower is ludicrous and unconscionable. Jaywalkers
are not criminals. While they may very well be fatalists,
they are relatively harmless to others and render just themselves
in harm’s way. To ticket them arbitrarily or arrest
them is indefensible and just plain over-kill (pun not necessarily
intended). Spying and/or ganging-up on them will never solve
this problem. Clearly, another solution is mandatory ...*

[*
Editor’s Note: The degree of voracity in such letters
can be adjusted based on the level of one's irritation.]

Dear
Ms. Job Candidate:
After careful consideration of your resume, and based on the
hundreds of replies we've received, I am writing to let you
know that we have chosen another candidate for the senior
sales representative position. It was a difficult decision
as you were in the top three. The person we've chosen has
had significant experience in the pharmaceutical industry.
Your qualifications are exemplary and we will certainly keep
your resume on file should another position materialize ...

All material produced and maintained by Dorothy Malcolm dba Verbatim-Ink.
Not to be reproduced without permission.