I’m sorry for the person I stopped in front of while trying to figure out which end of my map was up. Your need to walk around me added an extra .34 seconds to your commute, and I’m sorry. Your advice to “move your fucking ass” was quite helpful, and I will act on it in the future.

To the short-order cook working at the corner deli: I’m sorry for looking at you. I did not mean to imply that I could do your job better. Also, thank you for inquiring if anything was “wrong with me”. I hope it put your mind to rest to learn that I was not, in fact, retarded.

I apologize to the gentleman whom I asked for directions. I should not have gotten confused. You were perfectly within your right not to tell me the street I was looking for was a single block to the right. Were the situation reversed, and you asked me for directions, I have no doubt that I would have kept you in the metaphorical dark. The same goes for the other three people I asked.

I’m sorry New York City, that I will be returning to you rather soon. I promise to do my best to be a better person once I move there. To those I wronged, I sincerely hope you did not all contract a case of the runs, despite my fervent wish at the time that you would.

(But seriously, I love New York. Nothing but stories down every block.)

I have no idea what is going on this week. 3 posts in a row? I’m just as surprised as you, trust me. Anywho- shirts!
I blabbered about FPO a few days ago, so rest assured it will not be mentioned again. (After that last mention, I mean.)

Some of these have been in the store for a while, but I wanted to wait till I had a flagship shirt for the second round of designs. Behold the flagship:

Seriously, fuck it.

Next up, we have a little something for the coders. Inspired by the retarded amounts of XML and PHP I was looking at a few weeks ago:

If you get the joke here, tag was probably the last sport you ever played voluntarily. Nerd. Feel superior wearing a joke that only a fraction of the population will understand. You’ve earned it.

And now for something a little less cerebral:

For the sophisticated man who chooses never to dress like one. In fact, if you’re anything like me, the news that you even know what a polo shirt is will come as quite a shock.

And finally, a little sumpin for the ladies:

Ladies- save your breath. Men- when the ladies yell at you, just tell them you were reading the directions.

And there it is. The second round of BrokenJPG shirts. (Insert wild applause here).

I would also like to point out that, in honor of the economy being even lower than my HOTorNOT rating, all these shirts can be yours for under $15. The tag shirt is under thirteen! It’s practically free!

If you like ‘em, buy ‘em. If you don’t, buy ‘em. And then give them as gifts to people you don’t like. Whatever works. As always guys, thanks for your support.