Grandma Assaults Grandson With Garden Hose For Eating Too Much Bacon

Now before you get too upset, the 64-year-old grandmother in question used the garden hose to spray her 9-year-old grandson in the face, and not, well, wherever your mind just went with that headline. But she did it at full blast! And also beat his legs. And all he did was eat a generous portion of delicious, crispy bacon.

From The Smoking Gun:

"Marilee Ann Kolynych was busted Tuesday evening on endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges. Her grandson, 9, was not injured during the attack.

According to [police], the matter involved the child consuming more bacon than anyone else, which angered Kolynych. A witness told Press that Kolynych chased her grandson around the yard before throwing him to the ground and 'sitting on top of him beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy's] face.' The child told cops that 'the nozzle setting was on full blast.'"

The boy eventually broke free, and ran to the safety of a neighbor's house to call his mom. Grammy Marilee was apparently still chasing him when his mom came to the rescue. Why bacon was the trigger for her complete, psychotic meltdown isn't entirely clear. Maybe she'd spent the day watching and re-watching that pork farming video. [TSG, photo via Shutterstock]