the way you looked at me the first day and i knew that from that point on, life would be so much harder… but so much fuller too. it was worth it. the way that everyone cheered loudly on my graduation and blacks and yellows ran together in stoles, in bouquets, in the finality of a chapter closing. it's like when someone throws you a party full of celebration and love, filled with people that know your history. but at the end of the day you are alone at your own party. the guests have left, the balloons have fallen to the ground. your hair is rumpled and the food needs to be put away. but you smile with the memories of the spirit of love that still inhabits the air. bitter when you shut the door of the car that last time. you watch the figures wave to you as you ride away, away to find who you are meant to be. sweet because that shutting of the door will one day allow you to open it again, open it and find home. i’ll come back one day.