I’ll be honest, today’s Florida Friday story is kind of dark, but aren’t they all? We really painted ourselves into a corner when we decided to start a Florida segment. It’s not all nudity and cocaine, sometimes it’s nudity, cocaine, and death.

So the late Norman Oosterbroek, 43, who was a bodyguard for the likes of Rihanna, Lady Gaga, and Jay-Z, recently broke into a neighbor’s house in Miami. He was naked and started beating up the homeowner, and when the cops arrived and tazed him, he ended up having a fatal heart attack from the combination of drugs and high voltage (a not entirely uncommon occurrence, unfortunately).

Police said that about 10:45 p.m. on Monday, Oosterbroek appeared at the back door of a neighbor’s home just down the street. Christiane Jung looked outside and saw Oosterbroek staring at her, according to police.

She screamed for her husband, Markus, who confronted Oosterbroek, police said. Oosterbroek allegedly began beating Jung with one hand while ingesting suspected narcotics with the other.

I don’t even know how that’s possible. Or why it’s possible. He’s like some evil Popeye where his spinach is cocaine and he uses his super strength to bully the helpless.

“He was highly violent, uncontrollable and obviously wasn’t stable,” said Nancy Perez, spokeswoman for Miami-Dade police, which is investigating the incident.

When Pinecrest police found him stark naked, they Tasered him. He was pronounced dead a short time later at Baptist Hospital.

Normally I’d say cops need to grow some balls and take down these subjects with their hands like men, but considering Oosterbroek was 280 pounds and once threw fan 10 feet and broke both his legs, I can’t say as I blame them in this case:

Three years ago, at a Jay Z concert in Washington, D.C., a man dared to jump the stage and saunter toward the rapper. The unruly crasher was caught on video being grabbed by a well-dressed bodyguard, who tossed the intruder about 10 feet off stage, breaking both his legs.

At about six-foot-five and weighing roughly 280 pounds, Norman Oosterbroek wasn’t just a bodyguard to Jay Z, Lady Gaga and some of the world’s most famous celebrities. He was a powerful force to be reckoned with.

Oosterbroek, also known in Europe as “The Dutch Giant,” was 43. He began his career in South Africa as a bodyguard for Nelson Mandela. He later formed his own international security firm, RAD, which is based in the Netherlands. [MiamiHerald]

As soon as I read the name and saw the picture I thought “has to be a South African,” and sure enough, he is. When you combine South Africa and Florida, terrible things happening are inevitable. This is pretty horrific for everyone involved, but I’m just happy it didn’t rain snakes.

Actually when Laney conducted the autopsy they found out that he was poisoned and not on cocaine. Castle made a joke from Lethal Weapon 2, Beckett made a face, and then they discovered Lady Gaga killed him.

This really shocked me. Almost as much as they shocked him… He used to be my neighbor in Holland, always liked the guy, he was full of great stories. What amazes me is the fact he always tried to get his clients away from drugs, but the official story is that he invaded a home while under the influence of drugs. Naked. He even fired people for failing drug tests. Seems a bit strange… Then again, what’s the world without hypocrisy?

CDaN is claiming a blind item reveal with this guy as the employee let go by Jay-Z after being found jerking off to pictures of Bey and/or Blue Ivy. Normally, I’d say most of that site is full of shit, but this one I actually can believe.