Thank you for being here today. You had options. There are churches all over, offering all sorts of incentives and enticements. For instance, the Castle Church Brewing Community in Orlando bills itself as “Orlando’s newest destination brewery.” If you are asking yourself, “Is that what it sounds like?”, the answer is yes. They actually brew, sell and drink beer. Not in the actual assembly, mind you — at least, not as far as I can tell. But immediately afterward, and pretty much any other opportunity that affords itself.

A 9-year-old boy in Wales has lost an eye to a Nerf gun. This is not the beginning of a joke. This is the conclusion to a two-act tragedy. It seems he lost sight in the eye because of an incident with a toy arrow when he was only 3; the second incident caused irreversible damage to the eye, forcing him to have it removed entirely or else risk losing sight in the second eye as well.

The mother, who is raising money through crowdfunding to get her son a more realistic prosthetic eye, says she doesn’t want people to think she is a bad mother. I wonder why she would feel compelled to say that?

I have a new favorite eatery in my lunchtime perimeter. I have been three times now, and every time the same manager was on duty. And she is amazing. Let’s be honest, I’m there for the food. If the food were terrible, I wouldn’t care if Bruce Springsteen, LeBron James and Scarlett Johansson were dishing it up. As it happens, the food is great. And I’m prepared to believe this woman gets a lot of the credit.

I have been cranky lately. The circumstances of my life, although delightful in most ways, are not ideal. And I have let that affect my attitude — precisely what I criticize others for doing. I am not sure exactly how bad it has been, but I have enough humility, introspectiveness, and respect for others’ judgment to believe it has been considerably less than what it should be. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, obviously I would encourage you to ignore this paragraph. If you do know, please accept my apology.

Eugene V. Debs, the legendary Socialist leader, once mocked in an editorial the notion that a common railroad worker such as Debs once was could be “equal” to the grandson of Cornelius Vanderbilt, who got his start with $2 million in the bank. “If a locomotive fireman could work 4,444 years, 300 days each year, at $1.50 per day, he would be in position to bet Mr. Vanderbilt $2.50 that all men are born equal.”

Firstly, it’s no wonder Debs was so effective in his day with wordplay such as that. Secondly, it’s “created equal,” not “born equal.”

The time of the judges is neatly summarized in Judges 17:6 — “In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes.” Similar thoughts are repeated several times in the last few chapters of the book. But just in the first part of the first story we see several issues that a godly king such as David, Jehoshaphat or Josiah might have been able and willing to stave off.

My father is losing blood at the time of this writing. No one knows why. No one seems terribly worked up about it, though; doctors are on the case, he is well supervised, the issue (accidental pun alert) is being addressed and will soon be resolved.

I’m not worried. Really. Not worried. The face I am wearing now is the face of me not being worried.

My beloved Texas A&M University puts on an annual two-day barbecue seminar. “Camp Brisket” shows a fortunate few dozen participants the finer points of trimming, preparing and serving the best barbecue in the world. And here I am in Pensacola, Florida, drooling, surrounded by well-intentioned but sadly ignorant folks who think “good barbecue” used to oink.

Throughout the Old Testament, “Egypt” is used as a metaphor for slavery. The Israelites spent 430 years in Egypt, much or most of which was spent under the Egyptians’ thumb. The kind behavior shown to Joseph and his family was not continued by the Pharaoh “who did not know Joseph” (Exodus 1:8). Life soon became intolerable for the nation, even to the point of being forced to kill their own male children. But God was watching over His people the entire time, even and especially during the worst days. And when the time was right, God intervened. Pharaoh was humiliated, Egypt was crushed and looted, and Israel emerged on the other side of the Red Sea as a nation to be seriously regarded and respected.

If you want to see the glorious difference between men and women (and have everyone keep their clothes on, mostly), you need look no further than a gymnastics competition. Myself, I am not particularly a fan; I haven’t even watched Olympic competition for almost a decade. But I know, for instance, that women do not perform on the pommel horse, parallel bars or rings. And after watching Olympian Shawn Johnson attempt it, I know why. The same reason I don’t. It’s impossible. The upper body strength is just not there.

The men don’t perform on the uneven bars or balance beam. And I know why. The same reason I can’t watch them try. Physiology. Let’s just call it physiology.

Having lived in the middle of SEC country for nearly seven years now, I thought I had seen the worst examples of “Can’t take L for an answer.” But two New Orleans fans have taken it to a whole other level. They are actually suing the NFL over the result of the NFC championship game, in which their beloved Saints lost to the Rams — in no small part because of an admittedly horrible non-call near the end of the game.

They want the commissioner of the NFL to do something about it. Ideally, replay the entire game (or at least the last few minutes of regulation), or just flat-out reverse the game results. Nothing unreasonable.

Lobsters are not immortal. You may have heard otherwise, but it isn’t true. They do have a remarkable way of reproducing cells that retards cell death indefinitely. But turns out, getting old brings on a host of health difficulties, each of which may eventually become fatal. They ward off the natural processes better than most species, granted, but death will inevitably get them in the end, as it will all of us.

I took Tracie to my favorite restaurant on our second date, way back in the day. It was my favorite restaurant for a number of reasons, but high on the list was their carrot cake. I have never been one to order dessert with dinner (I’ve been reluctant ever since I realized they would charge me for it), but for some reason I had had the carrot cake at this particular establishment. And it was wonderful. Moist cake, and plenty of it. Plump, juicy raisins throughout. A delicious cream-cheese icing, but not too much. Perhaps the best dessert I had ever eaten that had not come out of the kitchen of my mother or grandmother.

Dinner went fine. I was funny. I was engaging. The food was delicious. Things were going so well. And then I suggested dessert. “You have to try the carrot cake,” I said.

I have not seen Bird Box, the Sandra Bullock film on Netflix everyone seems to be talking about. And maybe it’s just as well. Because there seems to be a trend of people trying to drive blindfolded. After all, Sandra Bullock did it. And she’s a movie star. Surely that makes it a sensible thing to do.

Every Southern household has its own recipe for peach cobbler. They differ widely. Personally, I like a lot of peaches, a nice goopy consistency with the filling, and a crispy, sugary crust. Others may prefer a more biscuit-like pastry, or a deeper pastry level than I like. That’s fine. Some prefer to make theirs in a casserole dish in the oven, some like the Crock Pot, some go old school and use a cast-iron Dutch oven over an open fire. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. But we all absolutely must agree on two bits of business: it must feature peaches, and it must be a cobbler. It’s right there in the name, after all. Peach. Cobbler.

Because I love torturing myself, I occasionally use social media to check on some of the Christians I have known in the past who have shown signs of faith slippage. Invariably I find what I expect. It’s a sickness. I need to stop.

Anyway, one lovely young girl from our past got a tattoo on her foot awhile back. It reads, “Everything happens for a reason.” She has a beautiful baby girl now. Never been married. I doubt she sees the irony.

The whole point of s’mores is fireplace, firepit or campfire entertainment with the family. You roast the marshmallow on an actual flame, then use the residual heat to melt a chocolate bar, grip the gooey goodness between two graham crackers, and go to town on it. Making them is far more enjoyable than eating them. Watching your children make them is even better.

You can do it in the microwave instead, if you like. But the crackers lose their crispiness, the marshmallow slides everywhere, it’s just a mess. There is, however, a device that will make the best microwave s’mores ever.

Purists insist that a “kolache” with sausage inside is actually a klobosniky. And strictly speaking, it is not Czech in origin, as is the kolache. It is a native Texan. Word has it the klobosniky was invented in West, Texas (which, ironically, is not in west Texas) at the Village Bakery in 1953.

If you are not from Texas, you don’t care. If you are from Texas, you probably still don’t care. Frankly, I’m not sure how much I care. I just like saying klobosniky.

I love my life in Florida. But I must say, trips back to Texas remind me of what I have left behind. Bluebonnets in March, and prickly pear flowers in May. Beef brisket barbecue so good that is actually better without sauce. Two dozen varieties of peppers in your local grocery store. Mexican food that is worth eating.

But one of the least-appreciated Texas delights is a pastry called a kolache.

When Paul said goodbye to the Ephesian elders in Miletus, he told them he knew he would never see their faces again (Acts 20:25). However, his dealings with the church at Ephesus were not entirely completed, according to 1 Timothy 1:3, If we believe Paul was guided by inspiration in Miletus, we have to take him at his word. That means the church at Ephesus during Paul’s third preaching tour was dramatically different from the one with which Timothy was working just six or seven years later.

Hal's books:

Remember Me With Favor

We all want to be remembered "for good." This study of Nehemiah from both textual and topical perspectives will help you preserve a legacy of faith that will be a source of encouragement for generations to come.

Construction in Progress: Building a Better Christian One Project at a Time

Accepting Jesus is only the first step of a spiritual journey. Construction in Progress helps you monitor your growth as a Christian through every stage of development.

The Mystery is Great: Husbands, Wives, and the Bride of Christ

The Bible consistently describes our relationship with God with the marriage relationship, and vice versa. in This Mystery is Great, the two topics are discussed side by side.

The Story of the Bible

How did the Bible come to be? Why these books and not others? What is the difference between translations? These and many other questions are dealt with in The Story of the Bible.

To Your Name: A Study of the Psalms, Volume 2

The second volume of To Your Name is now available. Suitable for large or small Bible classes or personal development, To Your Name helps the Bible student look at the Psalms from a variety of perspectives to maximize the usefulness and understanding of the text. Volume 1 is also available.

With One Heart, With One Voice

With One Heart, With One Voice is a study intended to help us "teach and admonish one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs" (Colossians 3:16). By understanding hymns, learning about hymn writers, and reviewing some basic musical concepts, you will learn how better to worship God and instruct others in song.