Saturday, December 3, 2011

View From A Mentalist: Dec 3

So my daughter took 56 photos. Quite a lot of them are junk.

First photo that came up was this. Not a good sign. It's like she was intrinsically drawn to it. There were actually 8 photos of this with a gradual close-up shot of the word, "vodka." It's almost as if she's really the child of a certain someone in Maine who shall not be named.

My daughter says this is her favorite today. As a photographic Composition it's not that good. But I can't concentrate on that. I'm more chilled to the bone about this still being in my house. If you ever want to destroy the last few shreds of sanity of a parent then buy their kid a loud obnoxious toy that whines when it isn't being played with. You'll never have to hear it but make sure you show the kid before the parent vetoes the whole thing. This thing has six nursery rhyme songs on it that loop forever and seem to be sung by Dolly Parton on helium and LSD. Worse - if you touch the damn buttons incorrectly (this is entirely random) it will lock up and play the 45 second intro song before letting you do anything. Then you abandon it in rage and it taunts you all day long to play with it. Over and over and over. I have video somewhere....

Cat in The Hat. Not the appalling movie but the Martin Short TV version. He's pretty snazzy as the Cat. Quite why the writers felt the need to change the fundamentals (the kids are related in the book - on the screen they clearly aren't) isn't clear but ho hum. A more important question is why is there a giant poo behind the cat in this photo? And is that why my daughter took it?

A woolen Santa bag. It's pretty cute. Mind you my son filled it with an electronic cooking thermometer, a magnifying glass, a small sheep from a play nativity scene and a sock. Which coincidentally is the same thing an old house-mate used and called his, "Date Night Kit."

A snowladyboy trivet. Impressive.

And lastly this one. I cannot explain the sense of concern a parent feels when their child tells them they, "took a photo of my number two on the refrigerator." Especially when they also say they can see turkeys.