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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Scary Face Club: January Inductees

January isn't exactly my favorite month of the year. Better than that whore March sure, but January...oooh January. It has its fair share of STDs as well. Most notably devilish ones like the snow and being cold and being 31 days long. Let's hope this month's meeting of the Scary Face Club makes things better.

Skinny Thing

REC

The skinny thing in REC and REC 2 is quite possibly one of the most scarring things I've ever had to watch. When that thing starts ambling around the darkened apartment it's like a giant dump truck of filth and despair is falling on top of you. As if the terrifying face, stringy hair and skinniness weren't enough, the skinny thing also has to wave it's saggy boobs in our face too. Bleck. They should make a haunted house and have this thing sneak up on you. I'm fairly confident that people would just keel over and die.

Boy

Little Monsters

The character of Boy in Little Monsters is one that continues to baffle me. He doesn't have what I would say is a conventionally scary face but there's just something about that face that still gives me the willies. Granted I'm sure it has to do with his creepily calm and sweet demeanor and the fact that he's about 30 years old and not a "boy" but still. His face is practically scabbing and falling off around the edges so it is actually very unnerving. Not to mention when Boy reveals his actual face it is somehow less frightening than the 'mask' he was wearing.

Dead Birds

I'm not sure these things have official names, but instead of calling them "Scary Thing 1' and "Scary Thing 2" this will have to do. I'm not one to applaud CGI scares in horror films,but like I said during my review of Dead Birds, there's no way you can deny these things of their scare power. Especially when without warning they just scream and open their creepy mouths. It's one of those unfair scares sure, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I didn't pee my pants.

Marty

Poltergeist

There were very few things that scared me more in life then watching the face rip scene from Poltergeist. There's something about ripping your own face off that really rubs me the wrong way. Plus also? It's fucking gross! When those giant globs of skin just plop into the sink. Aside from that, I had that moment where the so obviously fake face makes this like skeletal growl. Why does that freak me out so much? Is it because the face feels fake, or because it's legitimately just a damn scary face/thing?

Old Hag

Pumpkinhead

My favorite part of Pumpkinhead, aside from the obvious doll that is suppose to be Lance Henriksen's son,

is the terrifying old hag. Honestly, have you ever seen a more terrifying hag in your life? This is like the dictionary definition of old hag my friends. Sometimes I'll just be standing around enjoying the happiness of life and then all of a sudden an image of this hag will pop into my head and I'll die a little on the inside. True story.

7 comments:

Anonymous
said...

The Old Hag from Pumpkinhead is named Haggis, which makes her all the more creepy I think, being named after a really gross Scottish food dish. And yeah, she's definitely a creepy chick, and a deserving entry into the Scary Face Club. Great choice, Andre!

Aaaah! Marty from Poltergeist! That shit TRAUMATIZED me for a loooong time after seeing that scene in particular. Funny story: the first time I watched Poltergeist was with my mom when I was seven. After the movie ended it was going on lunchtime and my mom offered to make me a ham sandwich--a ham sandwich! After we'd watched a guy (Marty) see the chicken he was eating get all maggoty in front of him, puke and then rip off his own face! It's probably why I can't watch that movie in it's entirety to this day!