NFL Picks Week 4 ATS

6-3 last week! 2 out of 3 weeks, I’ve won you money. And not one of you sent me a cut or a thank you note. Didn’t your mothers teach you better manners? I didn’t take Thursday night’s game as I debated about Minnesota (push) and the under (definite miss. I think we all know the Rams over will be the lock of the week for the season.)

Breakdown: I took Indy and the under, Jets under, Cincy over, Miami, and the Saints. The Giants under missed with exactly 1 second left on the clock and of course, that was the big bet of the week. Lost the TB under on Monday night, lost the Niners when Jimmy G snapped that ACL but will still be snapping that porn star puss. 15-8 on the year, why the fuck don’t I have a gambling show yet??!?!?!

The Oakland Raiders are 0-3, just like most of their fans’ parole hearings. Are they that bad or the victims of bad luck? They’ve blown 3 leads at halftime and now they get Baker Mayfield on the road in his first start? In the black hole? Remember when betting, you’re playing the number, which is Oak -2.5 here. Home field is 3 points so what Vegas is trying to say is Cleveland is .5 better than Oakland on a neutral site? With a QB who has ONE HALF under his belt. Not buying it. And Oakland is due for a win, especially at home. Oh yeah, rookie QBs making their first start on the road? ZERO out of 10.

Take the Raiders -2.5. I may even take the under 45 as Oak under 9/10, 5/5 at home, and 4/5 vs Cleveland.

You know what Carson Wentz didn’t do last week? Throw for a shitload of yards and TDs, just like I said he wouldn’t. And now they face a rather stingy Tennessee defense. And Tennessee’s Mariota looks like he got hit by that volcano eruption in his native Hawaii. Tennessee is also a heavy run offense. How do the Eagles fare against the run? #2, just like me in the bathroom 5 minutes ago? Titans have scored totals of 17, 20, and 9 pts this year. Eagles have scored 20, 21, and 18 this year. This game screams 17-13 so let’s be wise and take

Tennessee under 41.5, I bought the .5

Atlanta defense is like the testimony of the second Cavanaugh accuser, possibly full of holes and supposedly gang banged up. Missing both starting safeties is not a way to start against Andy Dalton, who has been slinging it all over the place. Much like a recently divorced woman at an Appelebee’s on a Friday night. 1/2 off appetizers will get her pants fully off in that bathroom! Falcons just played nearly 5 quarters against the Saints and that defense is as gassed like a fat kid doing suicides. Not shooting up a school and then killing himself, I’m talking about running back and forth for an hour straight followed up by puking. You know, the good ol days where coaches would call you a faggot for missing the cutoff man. Cincy lists AJ Green as probable so that’s huge. The only thing that scares is the line opened +5.5 and now it’s down to 3.5.

Take the Bengals while you can get the 3.5, it’s still a good number.

Sigh, I said I don’t do normally do this…I know, I sound like a woman during a one night stand. But I’m going to make a case for the NY Giants and break my own rule of betting them. Saints played nearly 5 quarters last week. And that defense stinks worse than my house after a night of my wife’s Buffalo wing dip (to die for) and beers. Saints defense AVERAGES 33 points again. And now they’re on the road but more importantly, outside of a dome. The Giants beat them the last time they came to Giants stadium and now they’re catching 3.5? Saints are 1-5 SU in NY and the under has hit 5/7 when they’ve played? Vernon and Apple are out again on defense. Then again, they were out last week against Houston and they won.

Let’s cross those fingers and toes and take the Giants +3.5

I kinda like but probably won’t bet: GB (home against a Bills team who shot their load last week), Detroit +3, Jets +7.5 (3rd road game in a row kind of scares me about the Jets but the number is right), Chargers -10.5 (Large number, may buy it down to 9.5, depends how I do with the 1pm games.)

And now it’s time for the lock of the week. Quite shocked this number is moving this way and a bit annoyed I locked in too earlier. But the Colts -1.5 (now a pick ’em or even +1) is a steal. Hopkins went through limited practice with a couple of injuries, limited as questionable, but he’ll go. And Houston’s secondary is trash. Houston 2-7-2 playing Indy, 2-5-1 in Indy. Colts could’ve won in weeks 1 and 3 EASILY. They’re 2-1 ATS and could be 2-1-1 if they didn’t turn it over late week 1.

I have the Colts at -1.5 but you can get them at a Pick or even +1, get that NOW if you can.