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'Guil-tea is a tea one should not drink!' is a statement that was told to me by a dear friend in London about 3 decades ago. And ever since it has helped me to get over my trials and tribulations with honor and self respect. Not that I have done anything to have the FBI chasing after me(!), but as I strive to become a better person I realize that it is possible to feel guilty about the smallest mistakes on a spiritual journey. From that conversation I realized that guilt can be a misguided emotion that actually takes me away from my spirituality.

Guilt can overcome the soul and lead one into depression and resentment. However if it is understood as a signal for change, it can prompt one into positive action and towards a better character. We all have experiences of doing things at one stage in our life that we end up regretting at a later stage. But what is more important is what we do with those feelings, and what actions we take as a consequence.

Let us firstly differentiate between guilt, the fact, and guilt the emotion. Pronouncing someone guilty in the court of law is a factual event but it does not necessarily mean the assailants 'feel' the guilt of their actions. On the extreme other side of the coin there are many of us who can feel guilty over almost anything; wasting food, stepping on an ant, or walking away and realizing later that the cashier has mistakenly handed me extra change.

The upside of guilt – or, I would rather use the term feeling remorse – is that it is our inner guidance system letting us know the consequences of our actions. The emotion of guilt or remorse can nudge us into realising a mistake, and help us begin to make some reparations or at least awaken the conscience to the fact that we need to be more careful in the future. If we did not feel the guilt, we would never change or recognize the difference between right and wrong, good and bad. In this way the feeling of guilt or remorse can be a stepping-stone to becoming a better person.

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The downside of guilt is that we can wallow in it for too long, stay stuck and never address the situation. A situation may be blown out of all proportion, so that it colours our perception of life from that moment onwards. We can lose courage and hope and never be able to face friends and family again. We can never change and transform from this type of guilt, as we are simply using it as an excuse to beat ourselves up.

Living with guilt means to live in the past, not the present and definitely not the future. It's a bit like driving forwards whilst looking out from the rear view window. It's a dangerous place to be. We can never enjoy this present moment, because it will always be adulterated with our past memories. We are always trapped by the actions of our past. To put the past where it belongs – in the past – is the only way to be free. Letting go is the best gift we can give ourselves.

The difference between indulging in a healthy dose of remorse, and in an unhealthy guilt trip has a lot to do with our self-esteem. A balanced personality will use situations, no matter how bad, as a lever to take them to the next level. Someone with low self-esteem can use events, no matter how insignificant, to reinforce their sense of unworthiness.

serenity

In reality, guilt does not have a place on the spiritual path. There is only place for realization. Realisation is the key to learn, to heal and move forward. We learn that to make a mistake is one thing, but to get stuck in it is an even bigger mistake!

Feeling guilty leaves us feeling powerless. We wish the situation could have been different, we bemoan that it happened, but we do not realise that the answer is in our own hands. As a master, I take full responsibility for my actions, and I also take the necessary steps for self-change, whatever has happened has happened, it cannot be changed, but I can influence what happens next.

Even if I don't mean to be critical, I often unconsciously home in on others' weaknesses and mistakes. The more I develop the habit of noticing goodness and only holding onto the good in others and in situations, the more my own sense of well-being will rise. When I continually think, "He/she is wrong", I create a barrier that prevents me from reaching my own goodness.

Special Consciousness

As is the consciousness, so is the feeling behind the task, and so its quality. Just to perform action and finish the task is not enough to bring specialty and accuracy. When the consciousness is special about the self and the task itself i.e., a special thought is given before every task, there is specialty revealed in the task. When I am able to start each task with a special consciousness, like "I am victorious", or "I am powerful" or "this task is for the benefit of all", I am able to experience the specialty of doing the task. I am also able to increase my state of self-respect, whatever the task or however simple it maybe.

Three Components Of Change

In order to bring about a fundamental (major) change, three elements need to exist simultaneously:

Focus: A clear sense of purpose in life and clear goals to guide your life's activities.

Will: The motivation and enthusiasm to introduce and sustain the actions.

Capabilities: The skills and abilities to fulfill your purpose and goals.

But where do you start? There is definitely a right place to begin and that is with your focus. Why? Because if your focus is powerful and based on a very deep sense of your inner most purpose in life, then that will provide you with the will power you need to keep going. Then if you have a clear driving focus in life and lots of will power to back it up, you will soon develop the skills and capabilities you need to make it happen. You may not have them yourself, but your enthusiasm and passion will certainly inspire others who do have them to join you.

Soul Sustenance

Are You A Compulsive Complainer (Part 2)?

The person who almost never complains has realized that every time they complain they focus on something negative, and the first person to suffer is, in effect, themselves, since it reduces their energy level and they feel worse. The person who never complains accepts what is as it is, what comes as it comes, and what happens as it happens. However, if they consider that something has to be changed, they put their energy into making it happen.

Given below is a clear example of the reaction of a compulsive complainer and of someone who never complains in the face of the same situation:

Two people visit a restaurant for a cup of tea. When the tea arrives, it arrives cold on both tables. The complainer suffers and reacts immediately by making a great complaint to the waiter. He gets into such a bad mood because of the cold tea that it generates a really unhappy feeling inside him. The waiter, of course, gets a bit defensive. The person who doesn't complain does not remain quiet and drink the tea. He calls the waiter and informs him that the tea is cold and asks for it to be warmed. He doesn't get angry or into a bad mood; therefore, he doesn't suffer. He accepts that, at times, such things happen! To inform and ask is not to complain; it is to give feedback and to make a request. The difference between both is the difference between an emotional reaction and a proactive response.

If there is something that doesn't go as you would like it to go, use mental energy to construct, create, transform or solve but do not complain.

Message for the day

Faith enables the creation of elevated fortune.

Expression: Usually there is a tendency to leave things to destiny. When something goes wrong, we blame fate for it. Then we feel the situation to be totally out of our control, which prevents us from taking responsibility for our own life. And we will not be able to work in any way for bringing about a change and improving the situation.

Experience: Instead of blaming fate for whatever is happening, we need to take up responsibility for creating our own fortune for the future. When we have faith in ourselves we will take up responsibility for our own life. We will then be able to work at making our each thought beneficial, contributing to our success, making a better future for ourselves.