Sister Golden Hair Surprise, Part 2

Sure. Easy for you to say, Ms. I'm Still Typing On A Typewriter. Golly, you have a job and probably a really swell Sweetheart, too.

Lorna’s life and appearance has changed. She’s single, slimming down, wearing clothes no longer appropriate for farming or mechanical work, sporting sassy-short hair, and wondering about her future now that she’s a graduate with no job and no future husband.

Surprise 4: My favorite professor offered me a summer job as a Research Assistant on her grant. As one of her “best and brightest” students, she hand-picked me to work with her team that summer. Like everyone else in my life except my ex-boyfriend and my dog, my new boss had no idea the wiz-kid she hired drank vodka straight out of a bottle to avoid the annoyance of continually pouring the stuff in a glass.

In the mornings we Research Assistants entered data; in the afternoons we proofread our morning’s work. These were mind-numbing tasks. Like Privates at Boot Camp, we all needed something to help easy our mutual pain. Nothing spelled “relief” like “Happy Hour.” Our favorite haunt had “Happy Hour” from 5-7:00 pm. We could get 2-for-the-price-of-1 drinks. I drank Black Russians–usually 4, but sometimes 6. They served free cheese and crackers, so it’s not like I drank on an empty stomach.

Uh, not the kind of Black Russian I was talking about...And 3 wouldn't have been enough for me.

I’m not clear on what happened after “Happy Hour.” We never dined there. I pretty sure I never dined anywhere. I must’ve gotten to my 3rd floor apartment and walked my dog–no small feat since he was huge and enthusiastic after being cooped up for 12 hours, and we had to navigate down very steep, narrow stairs. Neither of us broke our necks, so I qualified as a responsible dog owner. Amazingly, I was always clear-headed and early for work the next day. I can’t say the same for the others.

I'd like to think we both looked a bit more civilized on our evening walks, but I'm pretty sure this is a fair representation of me (except I wore shorts). Humphrey, being an Old English Sheepdog, was fluffier, but as exuberant.

Surprise 5:I didn’t require much food. This discovery was a lifesaver because: I was poor so what little money I had for food went to dogfood and alcohol; and meal preparation seemed futile. Getting and staying drunk is time-consuming. I had to eat simple food: lettuce sandwiches (iceberg lettuce, Miracle Whip, 2 slices of white bread), popcorn, and Granny Smith Apples. I didn’t have a FDA Food pyramid handy, but this diet seemed to cover most essential food groups. Although I wouldn’t recommend trying this if you want to shimmy into your prom dress or bathing suit, I lost a lot of weight on my drink-yourself-silly diet.

I know this looks tempting and you may feel the need to make yourself one, but please, finish reading before you succumb to your craving for this epicurean delight.

Surprise 6:For the first time, I was drinking in public and not to prepare myself for sex. Except for the after-work “Happy Hour” extravaganzas, I never drank more than a couple of drinks in public. I had an image to uphold to my friends and family who believed in me as The Good Girl. Pre-drinking became my habit. I’d go out drinking with my friends and already be drunk. Brilliant! I saved money and my reputation remained untarnished.

When I was little, I longed to be an actress. My stage was small, but I deserved an Oscar for my performance. I fooled everyone…well, I’m sure my dog knew, but he didn’t even tell me that I was an alcoholic.

Sometimes my sister would indulge me in my Actress Fantasy. And don't believe for a minute that was tea or juice in my cup...

I was Funny-Vivacious-Social-Drinker Lorna. When the music was good, I was Exotic-Dancer Lorna. Dancing got me noticed and being noticed was everything.

See? I told you I would get noticed when the music moved me...

What comes next is a phase in Lorna’s life that could be called “wild.” Fasten your seatbelts…

No one knows dancing more than me …. the name ” Isadora” – does it bring something to mind??? Actually, my Mom was extremely depressed while I was growing up so I used to dance around to make her happy. It didn’t work. I did take dance lessons and at one time taught jazz, ballet and aerobics – way back when it was popular. Anyway, there’s a story there. ~~~ : – O

Swanky song! I love it, but I never heard it before. See, you were a true city boy and I was tucked away in the booniest of the boondocks. Everything going on in the wider culture came to my neck of the woods about 5-10 years later (think “time warp”). The only “clubs” I frequented were ones that changed names when new owners took them over. Even though my stories make it seem like I was wild, I was really quite innocent and tame–except for the alcohol-influenced shenanigans. The only thing wild about me is my inner writing-rascal! That’s my story an I’m sticking to it!

Maybe I did want to prove I could be what he found lacking in me, but I (like my sisters) had natural rhythm and just loved to dance. We still do! Although I never danced on anything higher than a floor. And I am so very glad that the drinking days are so far behind me that it all feels like several lifetimes ago.

Thanks for your continuing support, my friend! These stories are easier to write knowing that there is a kind, understanding and receptive audience to read them.

When I read the line about the music being good and Lorna, then, becomeing an exotic-dancer – I felt there was a little channeling going on. You know the X – boyfriend and his short kinky haired exotic girlfriend. Could have been sublimal … OR … Vodka overload ??? Regardless… I’m glad, Lorna, has become less of an imbiber.

We’re the same age. My musical tastes were all over the map, and I pretty much loved anything Rock, save for maybe the headbanging stuff. If I was going to inflict pain on my head, it was going to be through one or six too many shots of bourbon. After graduating, I moved to New York City so we hit many clubs. And it was an odd time, as disco was huge there. I remember standing in long lines outside of Studio 54, 12 West, and the Fun House hoping to be “beautiful” enough to be let in. But mostly my tastes fell toward Blues influenced rock and roll and live performances. Here was a personal favorite from 1978 (not sure if the link will work here):

Alcoholism is a dangerous disease. I remember swigging some vodka from the bottle in the afternoon, knowing it wasn’t “normal” or healthy behavior, and saying to myself, “What the hell, I have to die from something…” It was a few years after that when I finally ended the maddness. My liver has been thanking me ever since.

I am only able to write about this time in my life now. Interestingly, my efforts at writing my memoir stories stalled at these stories because I couldn’t find a light-hearted way to write about such difficult, serious topics. But there is something so free and easy about blogging that has released by inner “writing-rascal.” Maybe it’s the ability to include zanny pictures and create outlandish captions…Whatever it is, it seems to be working.

I’m 53 and I was in my early 20’s when this phase of the Book of Lorna is taking place. Rock and roll all the way, Baby! If the music had a good down-beat, I could find it and make something of it. Queen, Billy Joel, the Rolling Stones, Elton John, Styx…I didn’t go for the “head banging” music–too chaotic to find a good dance beat. I could impress you with my disco moves, too!

Another brilliantly written entry in the Book of Lorna. I’m guessing we’re around the same age and remember fondly those days of post graduate independence, complete with minimalist living space, even more spartan food supplies, furniture whose motif was “Early Parents”, and of course a $1,000 sound system. Priorities ya know. I wonder, what kind of music did you enjoy when you were dancing on the bar?

Okay, two things, I called it the “beer diet”, but argued that it had vitamins and minerals in it. Most times dinner was the snacks they served at happy hour. We found the best spreads out there and usually only bought a round or two at the bar so we could eat. The second thing is not only do I love lettuce sandwiches, I still make them, and sometimes I just make mayonaise sandwiches. LOL