Completely. Fucking. Ironic

Month: January 2016

For all of those who don’t know what this is, this is not your typical feminism page. It’s only about how women are portrayed in pop culture and video games. This woman has caused a lot of waves in the video game community especially, because even the games you thought you were tame and non-degoratory are not! Even Lego is sexist!

She receives the most sickening of comments, insults and death threats on a daily basis it is very sad that people have to be like that. But that doesn’t stop her continuing to post, doesn’t stop her ‘trying to change the world’. That didn’t mean to come out so sarcastic if it did. But I’m pretty sure you can tell what my opinion is; I disagree with her.

Her cause could’ve been so worthy, but the important shit she chooses as a sideline to her main objective, which is to basically take out every tiny detail of a game that offends you and make it safe for everyone. Her sideline objective is to stop the trolling and harassment that occurs to the female online gamers. Those priorities seem backwards to me. Some examples are; Lara Croft has tiny shorts that objectify her and a cliche backstory that doesn’t make her a strong female character. Grand theft auto, everything’s wrong with that game. All the faces on Lego block people all look male so therefore excluding little girls.

What? There’s always been female Lego people! How does this make this exclusively a little boys thing? It’s about building shit, what is derogatory about that? Plus Lego has always made it clear that Lego was anyone’s thing, girl, boy, young, old, doesn’t get much fairer then that. I grew up with Lego and I didn’t doubt for a second that I’m weird for playing a supposed ‘boys toy’.

It’s taken a fair while throughout the history of video games to recognise women in games, and women gamers. Tomb Raider has been around since PlayStation 1 and was one of the only games at the time that had a female protagonist. Considering the seriousness of the game, and how slutty they dress every other female character in games, what Lara Croft is wearing is fine. I mean, she’s even wearing boots, ones without heels. Her character was badarse, tough in every way, and the best part was, everyone loved that game, everyone took it seriously.

If you want to point out every single offensive and derogatory thing towards women, then look at ALL of it. Because what about most of our Hollywood movies, our advertisement, everything. Why attack the one platform where girls and boys come together, find a common ground and game together? She was even going as far as to pick out the female background people in Assassins creed for too much leg showing in slitted dress. Fuck me that’s so low…

Do you know why it upsets me though? Because I play these games without a second thought, I don’t see what she points out, nor am I offended by games. And in pointing this shit out she’s pretty well telling every female gamer out there that we are wrong. We are brainwashed. We have no idea what we want. Fuck you. I tend to choose a scantily dressed female character if I can because I want to kick arse and look sexy while doing it, because I can’t look like that in the real world. The games are what they are, and it’s not been offending anyone in the community till now, where everything anyone says has to be monitored in fear of upsetting someone because we’ve all turned into fucking crybabies in the last 10 years. Before, you had no choice but to be a male character, now most games you choose between the two. That’s progression. And Nintendo has always been aimed at everyone with their cute graphics and lovable characters. But even Nintendo isn’t safe because of their constant princess saving theme…

You know what’s more offensive then anything, that’s more of a worthwhile thing to bitch about? The size of fucking controllers! Not so much as sexist but sizest! My hands are small and therefore makes it harder for me to hold a controller and play. It’s not fair, smaller handed people play video games too! Do you know how sizest the world is for short people. Discrimination, people don’t believe that it’s incredibly hard in this life to be short, but it is. Everything is always too high up, you can’t go on certain rides in the amusement parks, and it’s hard to see over steering wheels in most cars. Plus no one looks down when they’re walking! But am I in my right to start bitching about the way it’s always been and that no one else but me has had a problem with so far? No, because you know what? Over the years they made realisations about it anyway, the controllers got shaped better and things are changing. And when someone comes along with a militant opinion on something, no matter how righteous, it shits on all the progress that’s been made and turns EVERYONE against the cause which is already being fought on the inside. There are women game developers, designers, software engineers. Women who put their opinion in everyday. But it doesn’t change the fact that sex sells, so if you want it to change in one area, then it needs to be changed in every area, and that area spans a lot further then video games and pop culture.

This is seriously how I feel when I hold an original Xbox controller, they were designed for big hands (obvious exaggeration). And shouldn’t it be about freedom of choice anyway, instead of pushing an agenda that you believe is right for the majority? Isn’t the main reason of feminism to give women and everyone all equal choice and opportunity? Well, some of us like those games, lots of us do actually, a lot of women play games like grand theft auto. If you fight to ban things like that, you are taking away a woman’s right to choose. You are sending the movement backwards, and you are dictating what people should like or not like. Do I think you deserve all the abuse you get? Fuck no. Do I think your heart is in the right place? Fuck yes! But your sideline cause is a much better thing to be concentrating on, stopping the trolling and sexual misconduct for female gamers. I guarantee you you’d have me on side, and a lot of us, because that shit isn’t on. But when you are attacking games that people love they are going to take it as an attack on THEM. And people are extra aggressive online so you WILL get a lot of shit. It’s not worth the fighting, your other cause is, and you’re completely overshadowing it with something that not many are going to agree or fight with you.

Again it all comes down to censorship, at the end of the day you want to censor what you don’t agree with and I’ve said it a fucking lot now, censorship is wrong! Education is and always will be the answer. If you don’t like something or don’t want your kids playing/viewing/reading it, then that’s the parents job to make that decision or your own decision not to view/play/read. But if I make that decision to view/play/read something, I shouldn’t be made to feel guilty because I’m not supporting a cause I think is not worthwhile. I do not want to live in a world where everything is censored, it’s just another form of dictatorship, whether you think feminism is a good cause or not, censorship is NEVER the answer.

This is just my opinion on it. Here’s a gif of our early morning talk shows playing wii sports, cause its funny.

I was having this conversation with mum because of a random comment I threw out there. It was because they still had their Christmas cards up, and one of them was obviously from my cousin. Why do I say obviously? Well, because it had a picture of her one year old son on it with merry Christmas down the bottom of it. My comment was, I hope I never become one of those parents that puts their child’s photo on a Christmas card. Mum’s response was, oh Kim, it’s their first child she is just proud, I know me and your father were proud of you. Yeah, as a baby maybe, but you sure weren’t when I got old enough to talk…

I’m one of those people who would pay a fee a month, like Costco, to shop at a shopping centre where children aren’t allowed. Because a baby or toddlers scream pierces through my brain and makes me think of death to others. I also can’t stand the brats running into me, or mother’s with prams pushing in front, cutting me off and having really slow pram party conversations. I don’t like being around young children, I don’t like holding babies nor do I care that they exist. This is my current feelings towards children at this point in my life.

I used to hate it when I was on facebook, since I’ve been 19, no actually, probably 17, all the years following just about every single girl of my age started becoming mother’s. Granted, there were some that didn’t, but soon they became the minority. But because they were good friends with these mother’s they naturally cared for and we’re good with their friends children. For one I have never really been close to a female of my age group, and two, I’ve never been comfortable around children.

That is pretty well, in a nutshell, exactly how I feel when I get asked that question. The honest answer is no, I have absolutely no desire to hold your baby, I don’t even think it’s comfortable in wanting to be held, or is that just gas? But honestly, what I get annoyed at the most about children is the parents, it’s not the baby/child on its own I have a problem with. It’s the change I’ve seen in the women I’ve been close to. Going from fun to I know everything about everything and you don’t know shit, because you have no idea how hard it is to be a mother! No I don’t have any idea, is there some sort of key that you get that comes with the kid that all of a sudden unlocks the secrets of the universe?

But let me pose this question to you, mother’s everywhere. Do you understand the sheer amount of pressure that society puts on women like me who chose not to have kids, who aren’t continuing the cycle of reproduction even though it’s what I apparently live to do? Do you know how confusing it feels when your brain tells you that it’s a pretty silly idea to have a child in my circumstance but my body is telling me that it really, really wants one anyway? Most of the time I hate being female because when it comes to reproducing I feel like I don’t win either way. Because I know that if I never have kids I will still always feel regret that I didn’t, because my body is wired that way. And if I do, I’m setting myself up for a life where I’m constantly under stress and anxiety for the sheer responsibility I have, not just till they’re 18, but till the day I die because they will always need protecting, always need guidance, always need love.

The truth is the whole idea of children terrifies me. Giving birth hurts, pregnancy hurts, I don’t want to go through that! Baby’s are fragile, toddlers are silly, school is shit and teenagers seem like living nightmares! Kiddy music, TV shows, people oohing and ahhing and picking out baby clothes and toys argggggggg! I hate the thought, I more then hate it I resent it!

Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me, why don’t I feel any sort of cluckiness towards other people’s kids, why don’t I care? Why am I so awkward around children, why can’t I get down on that level and connect with them? But then I remember. I was never a child in my head, my childhood was stolen from me, I was traumatised. I’m going to speak of my father but he never did anything terrible, that was done by people I didn’t know. But my father never allowed me to be a child. I got chastised for not speaking properly, chastised when I was being silly, chastised for doing anything normal kids did. I spoke in full sentences at the age of 3 onwards, I was trained early on pronunciation. I didn’t act out like normal kids, I wasn’t a screaming bratty toddler. I was sullen, quiet, well behaved. Scared. Scared of doing anything wrong, not because I’d get beaten, but because I’d be ignored if I stepped out of line.

So I don’t understand kids. And when I have peoples so called pride in their kids shoved at me left, right and centre, I have to think about all of it. Because I have no hope in myself that I wouldn’t fuck up my child something shocking. My mind tells me I shouldn’t have kids, but deep down I know I do. And it all hurts, especially now that I’m in a relationship with someone that wants kids eventually, and I’m at the age where people start thinking about it.

I’ve miscarried once, without even knowing I was pregnant. What if that happens again when I actually want it? What if my body can’t handle the stress? What if that child turns out like me, what if they inherit all my faults? What if it gets really sick? What if it gets bullied? What if I fail them? What if I’m a truly shitty parent but can’t see it?

I’m scared. I hope I didn’t offend anyone, this is just me being honest.

I’ve been feeling incredibly self concious lately, it’s actually been since I wrote the feminazi post. It’s like I wrote that and my eyes opened to it all in everyday life. Or maybe I just got paranoid.

I’ve always valued my comfort over my looks, overall. I honestly hate clothes. I feel uncomfortable in them. I may be happy with what I’m wearing in them before I go out, then I catch a glimpse of myself, from a bathroom mirror, or a window in a shop. And I instantly hate what I look like, I regret what I chose to wear, I regret my taste in clothes. But this is only ever out in public. Because it’s another thing that can be judged. It’s also another costume. Because for me, clothes shopping is a chore, it always has been. I guess it’s because the weight I keep drastically putting on then losing, every piece of clothing I ever buy doesn’t fit in both directions fairly quickly. Because of this my current clothes cling to my body and show off all my bulges, because I can’t afford to buy new clothes at the moment! So all I feel is shame when I walk down the street now, due to this fat shaming trend that seems to be happening in Australia at the moment. Shame that I’m offending people with my fat.

At the moment I am at one of the biggest stages I have been. This is the problem with having PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) it’s so easy to stack on weight. It takes only a matter of months to stack on nearly half of my body weight, and it almost seems impossible to lose. It doesn’t help that I’m on medication that causes people to gain weight but with me that almost triples in effect. But according to the gym junkies, this is an excuse, and there’s no such thing as a health problem that makes you fat…

The other thing that stacks on the weight is every time I quit smoking weed. Because when I smoke weed my hunger disappears, I stopped getting the munchies in the first few months of me having a real habit back when I was 15. It had this weird speed up metabolism effect on me too because when I did eat, it was pure shit food that I was eating, but it never seemed to put any weight on. The first time I properly quit after I got dumped by a guy I stayed with for 4 years and thought I was going to marry, I ate away my pain. I went from 45kg to 95kg in 4 months. I was on a combination of olanzapine and mirtazipine and all I did was sleep, I’d spend only about 5 hours awake, and in that 5 hours I’d eat, I was depressed sure but olanzapine is an anti psychotic that makes you feel like you have a hole in your stomach so no matter how much food you eat, you’re always hungry.

I spent 3 years at that weight, till my medication got stopped abruptly, and I went hypomanic for a couple of months and ended up starving myself as well as shitting out (chronic watery diorreah for 2 months) all the weight. I ended up in hospital after those 2 months, I also got a Bipolar diagnosis because of the severe reaction I had to Effexor Xr. I was in hospital because I got severe chest pains to the point I couldn’t breath, they thought my lung was collapsing, turns out I had inflammation of the cartilage in my sternum, usually caused by bronchitis but I wasn’t sick, mine was caused by my heart pounding so hard against my rib cage.

In those 3 years of fat, don’t think for a second I didn’t try proper methods to get rid of the weight. I dieted like you wouldn’t believe, I went to a dietician, I walked about 5kms a day, I spent 2 hours a day on the wii fit. It got so dire at one point the dietician said do the diet shakes 2 meals out of 3. I lost 15kg up front doing the right thing. But after that, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t lose anymore, maybe 1kg every 2 weeks. I couldn’t eat chocolate and I have a big thing for chocolate. The diet was so bland because I had to stay away from carbs which pretty well all my favourite foods are full off, it made me more depressed. I’d cry a lot, because I tried so hard and saw fuck all results. Id cry a lot because I was always starving from the medication. Id cry a lot because I missed my comfort foods, what the fuck was the point of living like this, I’d ask myself on a constant, I’d rather just die of heart failure eating what I loved, it’s not like I was happy anyway, far from it.

When I lost all the weight from the medication change, because the next year would be the lithium, epilim years, I kept it off for the most part. That’s only because my appetite had been drastically cut because of 2 months of starving myself plus not being on a medication that made me want to eat. The lithium made me indifferent to eating. I ate when I got pain, completely different to not feeling any pain from not eating for 2 months. I was still also hormonal as shit because the implanon was still in my arm (only realised early last year that the contraceptive I choose to be on is a vital part of what keeps me calm). I also started smoking heavily again for a year, quit again early last year.

When I got the implanon cut out of my arm for the final time last year (if you don’t know what implanon is, it’s a tiny rod that sits under your skin in your upper arm pumping out contraceptive for 3 years until it needs to be changed, to get it out they stick some local in your arm and literally cut it out while you’re still awake) and put on a high dose of the pill which I’ve never been on before, it was like this curtain of aggression got lifted, I felt calm. Because of the fact of stacking on and dropping weight, it was always a chore for the doctors to get the implanon out of my arm, the 2 times it had to happen, they spent over an hour digging deeper into my arm, my arm is now a disgusting scar reminder of the 6 years spent in utter misery when I could’ve been less lazy and just taken the pill everyday.

Being on the pill I almost needed to be taught again how the menstruation cycle works, because it’s regular now. It has never been like that since I first started at 11. I was pretty well the only girl with her period when we first learned sex Ed, I sat there feeling like a freak because it wasn’t the way I was running, but I always felt too much shame to question. Shame that I got it entirely because of the way boys are so dismissive of it. Shame at going into the shops and picking out what I needed. Shame that I feel like I’m the only girl that doesn’t wear tampons because they hurt, because they don’t fit, or because I was too stupid to learn how to insert them properly! Shame I left messes. Shame I’m even openly talking about it now…

The fat has well and truly stacked back on again. Even my doctor said life was unfair to me. Because even though I’m usually stable and I feel ok, this medication gave me a rash, and it stacks on weight. I don’t want to go through the diet again! I know the only way to lose the weight is to quit the medication. And then I’ll be back at the beginning again. Sometimes I question whether I’m truly ok or not. Because I have completely stopped caring about my appearance, stopped caring about trying to look good because I know I don’t. Is this a random bad day, or are my normal days just delusions of stable that I desperately want to hold on to for my own sanity?

Am I really ok? Because I tell you right now if you’re searching for a perfect medication you won’t find it, and you will forever be let down by it. You need to weigh up the good and the bad side effects and make the decision about whether it’s worth it or not. Then you deal with it, then you try to see the positives in the choice you made. I try this every day to the very fucking extent of my being! But if you think that it’s ever going to be perfect, you will always be disappointed. Just some days it feels like the disappointment outweighs all the trying and achievements I’ve made…

I put this picture up as a fair warning, hopefully WordPress won’t be lame and actually show it as my main story image. If it doesn’t here is my second warning. Please do not under any circumstances read this post if you are triggered by words of extreme violence and horror. I will be talking about the sickiest films that have been made mainstream and most may be talked about in further detail. These are all fictional films, none of them are real snuff films or anything like that, and if you are a ‘gorehound’ like me, some of this post may even be laughable to you. Either way I do not want you to think badly of me or for me to accidently make you uncomfortable in any way. This post is a reply to a post that angered me, because I really enjoyed the blog up until this post. I am not mentioning which blog nor is this person following me. So please, these movies are past the realm of normal cinema and could be triggering. I don’t expect likes or anything I am merely venting. PLEASE STOP READING BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED OR ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HORROR FILMS.

So I stumbled upon this post where this person was comparing those on the horror forums to ‘window lickers’ of the horror community. In this persons opinion most of the people on these forums were just interested in gore, vomit, rape, basically just the shock value of these films. A few of these films that they’ve added on the list, or just as their added additions are clearly more personal opinion over anything as they are well known and have been shown in cinemas. I got incredibly angry at this persons opinion, there are some classics on the list, and for someone who gave Insidious such a rave review I now no longer consider their opinion justified anymore.

The thing is about reviews they are just personal opinion, I get that. But when you purely think horror is about the supernatural and jumpscares, maybe even a bit of slasher, then I think you are being biased. Because there are different sub genres to the whole horror genre, you can’t just say this is part of the genre but this isn’t. You have your supernatural horrors, your slasher films, your zombie/epidemic films, but then you have your exploitation, your extreme, your ‘torture porn’ as it’s been coined in recent times. How can you possibly say that these aren’t real horrors because according to you they are nothing more then violence and gore, these things are disturbing, they make you uncomfortable and they play on your mind, all of these things can cause genuine fear in some people. And horror films are designed to scare people. Plus horrific is a good way to describe these movies so they do, whether you like it or not, belong in the genre.

And for someone who likes to pick apart horror films to find the hidden meaning behind films, I think it’s pretty fair to say that you haven’t done the same things with these films. You see the blood and gore and all of a sudden it’s not worth your time, they’ve cheapened out the thrill for you by packing it with a substance that you deem unnecessary. You know how I can compare that to what you consider ‘true horror’? Fucking jumpscares, supernatural ghost movies nowadays are so full of jumpscares that I don’t even jump anymore because it’s so easy to predict when they’re coming up. Music’s building, the jumpscare won’t happen here, music’s gone dead, walk a little more, bam, ghost jumped in front/ghost turned around/ghost appeared at window, omg I’m so startled! But that’s exactly what it is, a startle, it’s not true fear. And that’s the same with gore films, it’s there to impact the viewer, make them feel all the disgustingness of the situation, and in that same token you can become just as hardened to that in the same way as jumpscares.

If you don’t like incessant amounts of blood and gore and no great plot then why are you ok with zombie films? That doesn’t make sense at all!

On to this list then, or the supposed list they made while looking up the most disturbing/sickest movies of all time:

A Serbian Film (2010)

Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)

Irreversible (2002)

Saw* (2004)

Hostel* (2005)

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Human Centerpede (2010)

Men Behind The Sun (1988)

Flowers Of Flesh & Blood (1985)

The Last House On The Left (1972)

I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

The Exorcist (1973)

Audition (1999)

I guess Saw and Hostel get those stars as they just hate these films but know they don’t really belong on this list as they were played in cinemas with an overall good reception.

They put these other films in brackets as some of the other ones that this person also hates (Ichi The Killer, Switchblade Romance, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Eraserhead, Antichrist, Martyrs, A Clockwork Orange).

I’ve just got to quickly rant about this bracketed list as it’s beyond silly… What the fuck is Eraserhead doing there?! It’s a black and white arthouse film with absolutely no gore in it at all, no cursing, nothing but weird images that freaked people out, tonnes of suspense, in short, the very definition of what this person considers a true horror to be! Ichi The Killer is based off a manga, so therefore the gore and violence was overdone as it was trying to be like a cartoon. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, one of the original slasher films, barely any gore, just a lot of visuals of torture devices and a lot of chasing to build tension, considered a true horror masterpiece. Antichrist was an arthouse film so pumped full of messages and ideologies it was a movie reviewers dream to pick apart, the gore was barely there and was completely justified to the plot when it did happen. A Clockwork Orange, cmon man that’s hitting pretty low, why say you’re into horror films when you can’t even handle a movie like this? This is a Stanley Kubrick masterpiece, it is shot so well, the script, everything was so well done, the violence and rape was necessary to build a certain feeling towards the main character, to then have your idea of morality ripped away leaving you to ponder the very essence of right or wrong. One of my all time favourite movies. Martyrs is also a great film of recent times, part of the ‘new wave of French exploitation films’. That movie had just about everything I could want in a horror. Great character building, scary scenes and brilliant ending, even an overall philosophical theme running through. I can’t talk about Switchblade Romance or High Tension, it’s something I’ve been meaning to see, it’s also a French exploitation film.

Back to the main list which they also sectioned out. I’ll put their version then mine:

‘Two are revolting exploitation films that masquerade as meaningful examples of cinema (A Serbian Film and Men Behind The Sun)’

Look, A Serbian Film is one that gets thrown around a lot in forums by mainly teenage boys as the sickest most disturbing film ever. It’s one that has a pretty bad reputation as something that is truly sickening to watch. As someone who’s seen it (which I don’t believe this person has as anyone who would enjoy watching this stuff is just as messed up as the person who made it according to them) it’s more hyped up then anything. It’s banned pretty well everywhere and it is really hard to find and English subbed one online, but I found it and I watched it. Because movies like this intrigue me, I can’t lie. I want to know what all the hype is about. The plot is pretty fucked up, it’s about an ex porn star that’s struggling with money to look after his wife and son. So he reluctantly takes on a job that he doesn’t know much about thinking it’s going to be a regular movie. The movie is actually a snuff film where he actually gets drugged, does some pretty terrible things then gets shown what he’s done. I don’t want to particularly go into this because it’s a truly sick film and if you want to know why this movie is banned everywhere then look it up yourself. But out of these 2 that they’ve mentioned, this one was shot really well, the cinematography is really good. It’s not shot like a grimy, true to life snuff film which how movies like An August Underground was shot like. This movie was shot like this because its intention was to be a take on the oppression of Serbia or whatever it is the director was trying to get accross. It’s just that the themes and the sickening scenes overshadowed it so much that it just ended up being a sick, horrible movie. It’s probably got more notoriety at the moment as 2010 is fairly recent. Men Behind The Sun however, was pretty clear in the message it was depicting. It’s about the atrocities and experiments that the Japanese did on the Chinese in World War II. The thing is it’s incredibly graphic with a very long running time, the movie is just based upon this one subject so you kind of start forgetting the point of the film, which is just how truly horrific the war was. And films like this, in my opinion, get the point accross very well because war was horrific, just like what is depicted in this film.

‘A further 3 are exploitation but with a little more substance and comparatively realistic pretences (I Spit On Your Grave, Salo, Last House On The Left)’

Out of the 3, 2 of them are rape revenge films. How is watching a women get violently gang raped then going on a killing spree a movie with substance? Both I Spit On Your Grave and Last House On The Left are movies where they graphically depict the rape yet not as graphically depict the revenge violence. How is this more of a realistic pretence then Men Behind The Sun which is based on true events? And then Salo, a movie of a bunch of rich sick fucks that get a handful of basically children and submit then to extreme torture, humiliation and overall disgusting things such as being forced to eat human excrement. How is this more substance and in any way a realistic pretence? The only things you’ve proven with these films is that they indeed deserve to be on a most disturbing cinema list. I personally am not really a fan of the last 5 films that were covered, but this is horror, true horror, this shit impacts people which is the whole point of horror.

‘Of the rest 7 are unashamedly, gore-mongering, gross-out nasties of varying quality and substance (with Audition and the Exorcist at the top end of the scale and Saw, Hostel, Human Centerpede, Flowers Of Flesh & Blood, Cannibal Holocaust at the bottom end)’

Fuck you! Fuck you for even putting Audition and the Exorcist on this list. Out of all the Takeshi Miike films you could’ve justifiably put up there you put Audition on the list. One that has a grand total of one really violent scene that lasts a grand total of 5 minutes right at the end. Takeshi Miike is a brilliant film-maker who makes his films on purpose like that to invoke a particular emotion in his audience. Out of all his films, Audition is the most unique. It is a psychological thriller, with a slow build up and interesting dream sequence attached, the violence is PIVITOL to the character! And where’s the over the top gore in the Exorcist! Is vomit classed in the gore category now! You found it on the most disturbing movies of all time but look again and you’ll find its up the top of most lists of scariest movies of all time! Because it was scary, I got scared first time I watched it, my father who say it at the cinemas when it came out still gets nightmares to this day about it! It’s a horror film, a true horror, in no way is it a video nastie! Saw, Hostel and Human Centerpede were gory and purely made to exploit the genre but guess what. They were fairly original ideas, I mean Quinten Tarantino was part of Hostel, I don’t see you bitching about Tarantino films! Flowers Of Flesh & Blood is part of the 7 part Guinea pig film franchise, the only reason this one gets named is coz Charlie Sheen saw it and thought it was real and called the FBI about it. Lol, Charlie Sheen made a crappy movie famous. But how dare you even throw Cannibal Holocaust in that league though. It is the first found footage films ever made! It inspired films like the Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity that you rave so highly about. It is an integral part of the history of horror.

‘Irreversible out of all of them is a drama piece with a few disturbing scenes, how dare anyone put it in the same league as Saw or Hostel’

How can you be ok with this film? It deserves it’s place on that list a fuckload more then Audition or the Exorcist. That film gained it’s notoriety for the longest rape scene in film history! You get to sit through 10 fucking minutes of a woman getting anally raped, completely raw, no music, no pretty lighting or camera angles. This holds artistic value to you? Because to me the drama and deep messages gets completely drowned out by a 10 minute scene of pure exploitation.

I suggest you not call yourself a horror movie fan. You aren’t, you are nothing more then a hypocritical cherry picker with a complex. Get the fuck down off your high horse before you start calling people like me, with an appreciation of all the sub genres that make up the whole genre, fucking window lickers. Arrogant fuck. Sorry for the incredibly long post for anyone who chose to read this. Rant over.

I walked through my local supermarket yesterday and noticed some of the funniest things they were plugging with star wars. Either I never noticed all this when the other films came out, or everyone just went a little bit crazy over this latest movie.

Phew, lucky Yoda isn’t teaching grammar or anything, that would be a bit awkward. Hmm, reading you shall learn. And I always knew that maths was part of the dark side!

Then I saw this and it made me go, fucking seriously?

Star Wars makeup! I don’t know what to feel about this. I honestly thought I could write witty things here but I realised I’m not that creative. Plus again, I don’t know how to feel about this. Because there’s a difference between costume makeup and everyday, and Covergirl was always an everyday makeup brand. When I see this type of thing it cheapens the whole franchise for me on both sides, star wars and Covergirl, just feels so gimmicky. Because when I feel like wearing makeup which is rarely, then I’m serious about the brand and the beauty behind it. When I’m feeling nerd, which is a lot of the time, then I really couldn’t give a shit about girly things such as makeup, so it tying them in together like that, I don’t know.

Anyway, doesn’t change the fact that these things gave me some lolz. Everyday I’m seeing the star wars merchandise whore itself out a bit further.

This is probably going to be the nerdiest post I’ll ever do, but so be it. I’m a fan of doctor who. There seem to be 2 different types of people when it comes to feelings about the show. The ones that love it and the ones who haven’t seen it. Hah. Nah but seriously. I just don’t understand people who are just roll their eyes and say it’s lame when they haven’t seen an episode, or they have but back in the 70s. The newer seasons are amazing, seriously, even if you didn’t like the old ones because Daleks were just men in moving boxes and the special effects were cheesy as shit, then watch a few episodes, or special, of the newer seasons.

Even in the whovian fanbase there’s a lot of discrimination between the sectors of the base. There are the old school whovians that grew up with the old series and think the newer series is shit, the people that tuned in from the newer series onwards and haven’t watched any of the older series, the giggly girls that like David Tennant and Matt Smith and have no other reason to watch the series anymore because they new doctor is a 60 something year old Scottish man, then there’s the true fans, the ones who watched it from the beginning and are still watching it to this day.

I keep saying older and newer series, let me explain if you don’t know anything about the doctor. Well disclaimer, the shows called doctor who but that’s not his name, he is the doctor, but it’s called doctor who as no one in the entirety of space and time knows his name, or really who he is. And the older running series stopped in the late 80s I think. They ended it with a time war and all of the timelords and Daleks being destroyed. They revived it again in 2002, after this time war happened, so for those who haven’t seen the older series, you can basically take this newer series as it’s own story entirely.

Anyway, I’m going to say something that may offend true whovians or old school whovians that may read this, bear with me…:

The newer series was fucking better! And I’m not saying this because Tennant is adorable, or I’m just too young to appreciate anything before 1999. I’m saying it because the character of the doctor himself is deeper, easier to relate to, easier to fall in love with. The excitement, the suspense, the visuals, it’s so much infinitely better. And I’m in no way saying I don’t appreciate where this series originated from, because I do, without it there wouldn’t be this series. But old stuff is really hard to watch, I’m just being honest. And I have watched a bit of the older series but in all honesty, it was cheesy, campy and half the time never really made a huge amount of sense.

Old school doctor who fans are the same as the gen wunners of the Pokemon fanbase.There are 5 new generations of Pokemon after the first 151, and the gen wunners are 90s kids, like me who grew up with the original and think the newer ones are stupid. They aren’t stupid, they’re pretty cool and a lot more versatile then the originals, you just don’t like them because the series evolved. It changed, and you want it to remain the same so therefore you hate it. But you’re missing out, in both regards, Pokemon and doctor who. I couldn’t go back to playing Pokemon Red on a gameboy when I have Pokemon alpha sapphire and omega ruby on my 3ds, these kids nowadays don’t even know what a gameboy is! Does this offend me? No, it doesn’t, because Pokemon is still alive, it’s still evolving, it’s still changing and it still exists!

It’s better now. Doctor who is better! Shhh, simmer down your angry thoughts old school whovians and just give the newer series a try. And the people with the preconceived ideas that doctor who is lame. Just watch it, I swear you’ll be surprised.

Doctor Who in a nutshell: The doctor is a timelord that stole a tardis (a time and space ship) and ran away. Disclaimer: the tardis is shaped like a 1960s British police telephone box because, the tardis can camouflage to anything that’s normal is the era or galaxy the doctor is in, but it’s camouflage mechanism got permanently stuck on the police box. Timelords are the beings that are the lords of time (duh) the only ones in the universe that can control time, they look human but they have 2 hearts, they also don’t age and when they die they don’t, they regenerate into a new person. The doctor is a wanderer that seems to end up in places that need help. That’s it in a nutshell, but because it’s dealing with concepts of time travel, as well as different universes and all that, it has a fairly complicated story arc in general.

In my opinion, he is everything that the universe needs, the ultimate super hero. Doctor who has always given me a very warm, excited feeling every time I watch it, also an incredibly painful feeling when doctors regenerate into different doctors. Steven Mofatt (script writer) describes the doctor in the best way:

It’s hard to talk about the importance of an imaginary hero. But heroes ARE important: Heroes tell us something about ourselves. History tells us something we used to be, documentaries tell us who we are now; but heroes tell us who we WANT to be. And a lot of our heroes depress me.

But when they made this particular hero, they didn’t give him a gun – they gave him a screwdriver to fix things. They didn’t give him a tank or a warship or an xwing fighter – they gave him a box from which you can call for help. And they didn’t give him a super power or pointy ears or a heat ray – they gave him an extra HEART. They gave him two hearts! And that’s an extraordinary thing. There will never come a time where we don’t need a hero like the Doctor.

Every time I watch doctor who it always reminds me that I’m important, that every life has meaning. It doesn’t matter what series you like, the message has always been the same.