Hang Up Those Holiday Blues

Remember 'tis The Season To Be Jolly

December 07, 1990|By BRUCE C. EBERT Staff Writer

No one is immune from some form of the holiday blues.

When everything around us says be merry and light (inevitable weight gain aside), many people go into a slump. Financial and personal pressures may be magnified and problems that would be a tough blow at any time practically become knock-out punches. They can happen to anyone.

Right now, however, he's focusing on his future in the ministry. Caught up in what he calls a personality conflict at the church, Lutz is about to leave his pulpit. The turn of events has put the preacher in need of the morale boost that others have always looked for from him.

If a man of the cloth can have a problem getting up for one of Christianity's most joyous occasions, anyone can.

"It's a time of year when we highlight some of our ideals more than usual," says Don McKay, a licensed clinical social worker in Newport News. "When we find there is a large gap between our ideals and what we have in the real world, we have a problem." The daily business of life makes people too busy to think about what they don't have and how they haven't fulfilled all their expectations, but all that surfaces around this time, he explains.

Lutz believes he'll eventually catch the spirit by focusing on the religious significance of Christmas. "God sent a wonderful gift to us," he says. "Keeping that in mind pulls you out of your problem."

Speaking of gifts, often they are the root of the whole problem. Bonnie Heimbach, a home economist with the Virginia Cooperative Extension Service in Hampton, laments that love and affection these days must have dollar value in the marketplace. That can lead some people to go broke while being generous - a condition that ultimately causes them to curse the holidays.

"Focus on things you can enjoy," says Newport News psychologist Thomas Irwin. "Focus on family, things that are close to you, and don't get caught up in having to go to the party at work and the party somewhere else. It makes you tired and gets you feeling down. Focus on things you enjoy and people you can enjoy doing things with."

Hobbies and special projects might be particularly important during the current season - especially for people who tend to feel lonely, he says. "Do things that give you a sense of accomplishment," says Irwin. "Keep working on projects."

For those who are not religious but are still caught in the holiday tangle, Lutz suggests surrounding yourself with people who do have the spirit and letting it rub in.

As if life's normal pressures weren't enough to keep people from thinking merry thoughts of togetherness, festivity, gift-giving and good will, the Christmas and Hanukkah season of 1990 has two more irritations: military deployments caused by the Middle East crisis and an economy that has turned sour.

The looming recession, layoffs and the loss of job security all around throw a damper on this season, economists and mental health professionals agree.

For Jewish people, these weeks can present a dilemma of a different sort: feeling left out while the Christian majority celebrates a holiday that has become so secular that it is virtually an American holiday.

But Rabbi Mark Golub, spiritual leader of Temple Sinai in Newport News, says there is no need for Jewish people to feel alienated.

"While we cannot embrace the letter of the Christmas season, there are aspects that all of us share - the warmth and emphasis on family values and traditions and the air of spirituality that hovers over the season." Jews can enjoy watching their Christian neighbors enjoying their major holiday, he explains.

"We don't count the shopping days, but the beauty of the music -the lyrics aside - and the good feeling people derive, everyone can relate to."

And since this is also Hanukkah season, Jews can embrace the religious and historical significance of that - the miracle of a temple light that was supposed to last one day lasting for eight, and the victory over paganism.

"Hanukkah has special meaning, and it gives us a focus that allows us to move spiritually within our households and our community,'' says Golub.