Danbury High's male prom queen greeted with cheers

Published 10:41 pm, Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Nasir Fleming was selected as Prom Queen at the Danbury High School Prom Friday, may 23, 2014.

Nasir Fleming was selected as Prom Queen at the Danbury High School Prom Friday, may 23, 2014.

Photo: Michael Witkowski

Image 2 of 12

Nasir Fleming was selected as Prom Queen at the Danbury High School Prom Friday, may 23, 2014.

Nasir Fleming was selected as Prom Queen at the Danbury High School Prom Friday, may 23, 2014.

Photo: Michael Witkowski

Image 3 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

Photo: Contributed Photo, Michael Witkowski/Contributed Ph

Image 4 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

Photo: Contributed Photo, Michael Witkowski/Contributed Ph

Image 5 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

Photo: Contributed Photo, Michael Witkowski/Contributed Ph

Image 6 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

Photo: Contributed Photo, Michael Witkowski/Contributed Ph

Image 7 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

Photo: Contributed Photo, Michael Witkowski/Contributed Ph

Image 8 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

Photo: Contributed Photo, Michael Witkowski/Contributed Ph

Image 9 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

Photo: Contributed Photo, Michael Witkowski/Contributed Ph

Image 10 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

Photo: Contributed Photo, Michael Witkowski/Contributed Ph

Image 11 of 12

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation. Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen âÄî not king. He did it mostly to make a point. Feming's date senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor. less

Nasir Fleming's Danbury High School classmates nominated him for prom king and prom queen.
The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with ... more

The 17-year-old senior says he is gay and has been out since the sixth grade. While popular, he has struggled with bullying for much of his young life because of his sexual orientation.

Fleming wanted to send a message about the absurdity of gender labeling, the toxicity of discrimination and the importance of being yourself. He decided to accept the nomination for prom queen -- not king. He did it mostly to make a point.

"I wasn't expecting to win," Fleming said.

He was named prom queen at last week's event. More than 600 of his fellow students and dozens of staff greeted the announcement with thunderous applause.

"I was flabbergasted," he said. "The audience was surprised and extremely supportive. The audience was more excited than I was."

A video posted on Fleming's YouTube page shows the newly crowned prom queen being greeted with cheers. Fleming's date, senior Amanda Dattilo, said he was genuinely stunned by the honor.

"Afterwards, he was all happy and giddy," she said.

Dattilo said Fleming received, and accepted, the nomination for prom king last year, though he didn't attend the event. She said she wasn't surprised he was nominated for king again this year.

"He's a very likable person," Dattilo said.

His nomination as queen was more of a surprise, and Fleming said he isn't sure about the intent of the students who submitted his name. It might have been a joke about his sexuality, he said, or maybe it was meant positively. Ultimately, he concluded, it doesn't matter.

"Either way, I'm still fabulous," he said.

Danbury High students nominate candidates for king and queen, and nominees are asked if they wish to accept. Principal Gary Bocaccio said anyone can be nominated for either king or queen, but he didn't know whether Fleming is the school's first male prom queen.

On his YouTube page, Fleming said his selection is a step forward for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people, and a strong statement against gender-labeling.

"Even though I identify as male, winning this title is a statement against transphobia," the statement reads. "As gay people, more or less, are becoming accepted in society, transgendered people are still discriminated against severely.

"If I can win a title that is outside of my gender, there is no reason why a trans-person should have any problems winning titles in his/her gender. Stop the hate, start the love."

Fleming plans to go to Manhattanville College, in Purchase, N.Y., in the fall and major in communication. His goal is to host his own talk show, and he said this recent foray into the spotlight offers valuable lessons on what it's like to be in the public eye.

The comments on the YouTube page generated much support, including one from former Danbury student Emily Vega, who called Fleming "a really great and amazing person and really we'll (sic) liked at our school. So I'm glad he won. And now I love my old high school even more. "

But there was also some negativity, including one commenter who said Fleming was "making a mockery" of the prom tradition and another who called his selection "disgusting."

Fleming said he has received backlash from some in the gay community who say his selection reinforces negative stereotypes.

Fleming said he is not shocked by the negative reactions, and was expecting some fallout when he posted the video.

"I love controversy," he said. "It's what keeps the world spinning around."

That doesn't mean the insults aren't hurtful or disturbing -- particularly, he said, since some of the negative comments come from adults who should know better.

"It's so upsetting when you see a 45-year-old making comments about a 17-year-old," Fleming said. "It's disgusting."

Since he came out at such a young age, he has learned to put other people's opinions into perspective. Coming out in middle school meant he was immediately tagged as "the gay kid."

"Everybody knew my name," he said.

Though he was accepted and liked by some, he still struggled with name-calling from classmates.

"I didn't blame the kids," he said. "It's never the kids' fault. It's the parents' fault."

Young people need to be taught compassion, Fleming said, and that lesson comes from parents. He is hoping his stint as prom queen will lead to people reconsidering some of their biases.

"We need to push past tolerance and start having acceptance," he said.

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