10 Ways To Get What You Want

1. Be Attractive

What? Seriously? That's your advice? Um, yeah. Ask yourself before you get all mad about this one, if a sexy AF guy/girl walked up to you and asked you for 50 cents---are you going to say no if you had it vs. to one that was kind of bummy and not so attractive or even ugly? Now if you aren't exactly "the sexy" type, attraction can come in the form of being confident, approachable, and open. Approach someone with your favor or want in mind with a confident stride and a friendly way about you. You can disarm people in this manner because you bring down the threat wall or the creepy factor by not appearing like you have any intention of bringing harm to this person or are threatening in anyway. We respond a lot better to someone with a smile who appears friendly then we do to someone scowling or perceived to be threatening or mean.

2. Be Nice

This is totally super difficult advice to follow right? Yes, be nice! Who do you want to do favors for...not your a-hole boss who can't remember your name, but Ronny in copy who always says hello and has a kind word to say or Karen who always remembers your birthday. Being nice endures you to people and makes them so much more willing to do stuff for you...but don't simply attempt to be nice right around the time you always need something. People see right through that BS as them being manipulated rather than a longer end game that will get more done for you on a consistent basis because you always are or at least appear to be nice to all around you.

3. Convince them it was their idea

People in control don't like to have it taken away. They want to be the idea person, they want to be the one people applaud for, and they can get jealous of those who take that attention from them, so give it to them...or at least the illusion you've given it to them. Subtly suggest brilliant ideas to them that you want done. "I think you'd really enjoy a weekend at the beach." "You remember the last time you drove us all to the beach, we had a blast, everyone said so." "You come up with the BEST ideas, like going to the beach." Pump this on theme message into their brains long enough, they just might get the brilliant clue to...go to the beach and take you with them.

4. Play to their ego

Everyone wants to feel like they are really good at something and when you flatter someone into thinking they are or they genuinely are good at something, you can get them to essentially do the work for you. "I can't ever seem to edge up the yard as good as you dad, can you show me one more time." "Mary, I've tried to make your famous cake, but yours are just too perfect. Do you mind whipping one up. We'd all love it like your last one." "You're so tall and strong, do you mind getting that box down." Yup!

5. Make an offering

No one wants to do stuff for free, so even a small bribe *cough* offering, can be enough to get someone to do a lot for you. Present some potential reward or prize for the persons help. A coke, a cookie, getting to leave work 10 minutes earlier. Give them some small incentive to work for you.

6. Give them a choice

People don't always just want to be told what to do. A lot of people will fight this. So, give them a choice and make it seem like they actually have a real one. "Son, you can finish all your homework in the next hour, and we can go out to that Italian place you love, or you take your time and we have brussel sprouts and liver for dinner, your choice." Once you give them a choice, let them make it and leave it alone. Stick to your options as well, even if they choose "incorrectly" this time, they'll learn over time there is no reward in taking the crappy option and will eventually want the better options and you get what you want, in this case, them to finish their homework.

7. If you want the truth...be silent

Want to know who broke the lamp, who messed up payroll, who's cheating on you...give them the silent treatment. We hate long uncomfortable silences. When we make accusations of someone, they are going to get defensive rather than tell the truth, so be silent. Ask the question, and let it rest. Helps if you are sitting right in front of them giving them direct eye contact with no barriers between you as well because that tension and silence becomes unbearable.

8. Ask for it at the end of the day

No, don't wait until your mom and dad or your spouse are in a good mood...wait until they've had a long day and they are tired and are less likely focused or thinking about what you're asking for. They are more likely to just say yes to get you out of their face so they can relax or go home for the day.

9. Give them, "the Nod"

Nod in the affirmative during your question. "We want to (nod) get this paperwork done by noon, yes (nod)?" Even if the person wants to protest, that nod makes it much more difficult to say no. Try it.

10. Shoot for the moon

This is a classic strategy. Say I need $10, and I'm going to attempt to get this from a friend. If I say, I need $10, they, being a friend, may give it to me or they may say, ugh, 10, I don't really, can't, I don't know, whatever. So shoot for the moon. Ask your friend for $30. Your friend may actually say yes to the 30, and you have 20 extra dollars, but most likely they'll balk at that number or realistically not have it on hand, so you say, how about $10, I could still use 10. They see that as a bargain coming down from 30. It's more realistic to them and they can part with 10, and you've got what you needed.

Everyone does some of this. Everyone! If you want for example, your girlfriend to get you the red pair of shoes for Christmas, you might drop a hint or three. If you want some extra guac on your taco, you might smile at the person behind the register to try and get your way. As an employer, I had to employ most of these all the time when dealing with office politics. Unethical... really... being nice is... unethical? Offering someone a cookie... unethical? Giving someone a choice... a lie? Is it deceitful to ask for something you want at the end of the day? If what you're doing is for nefarious purposes or illegal ones, you may have a point, but if you simply want an employer to do their job or you do want some red shoes--who at the end of the day is hurt or destroyed by that? What illegal activity has occurred? You do have free will to say no to the asker at any point, but say yes, and the asker has gotten what they want, no more, no less.

manipulation is wrong. there is a difference between manipulating someone and dropping hints that you want something. being nice in order to get something isn't really being nice, its being tactical. convincing someone that something is their idea when it wasn't is lying. flattery can be taken in so many different ways for different people that you may end up in a shitstorm.

You want an office full of employees acting like this? If you find yourself lying, you're not going to feel good about yourself, even with desired outcomes. Legality doesn't have to come into play.

What you wrote was creepy. Staring at someone with the silent treatment? Being incessantly nice to someone regardless of circumstance? Playing their ego? Giving undue credit for ideas? These are textbook manipulation techniques. Need I remind you of the numerous articles on this site complaining about incessantly nice guys?

Maybe you want people to feel good. That's fine. They won't genuinely feel good unless you tell the truth. You shouldn't have to manipulate/abuse yourself to get what you want. We must accept the fact that sometimes the truth hurts. Which implies, you may not get everything you want.

So are you telling me you've never done a thing on this list? You've never say offered your friends a pizza if they helped you move, or given the waiter a bigger tip because they appeared to be flirting with you, or bribed a nephew with candy to get him to be quiet. Tell me about lying again?

as for offering friends pizza to help me move that is a trade. manipulation would entail making your friends think they want to help you move and you just being like, well if you insist.I've never given anyone a tip because i thought they were flirting. seems to be a case of using sex appeal to get something which is manipulation.giving a kid candy to shut up is not manipulation like you said its a bribe.this whole time my problem has been with the manipulation and lying nothing else.

" You've never say offered your friends a pizza if they helped you move" The pizza was for both of us for energy expenditure. The understanding was I'd help them move at a future date.

"given the waiter a bigger tip because they appeared to be flirting with you" No. They're there to serve food.

"bribed a nephew with candy to get him to be quiet". Absolutely not. Enables bad habits.

What you're describing in your second scenario is an unsolicited "service" to me. As far as I'm concerned, they can accept nothing for a complimentary perk I didn't agree to. Just because they were "nice" doesn't mean they deserve compensation.In the 3rd scenario, do you not know it's not a good idea to give the impression that only candy will get kids to hold their tongue?

You can rationalize that A is not B and B is not C but like I told the other person... whatever you want to call it, whatever helps you sleep at night, the outcome is still the same, and you're still doing something consciously or not, to get what you want from someone else.

Back at you. I already told you about dishonesty. You're going to have a hard time managing a workplace like that. Web of mistrust.

Honest, outright negotiating is respected. Deceitful, covert, inuendo driven negotiating is not. Tell the truth, the whole truth. Obviously, outcomes are NOT the same or there would be no use for this.

Most Helpful Girl

Most of us already do these, and a lot more frequently than we realize. Doing things like waiting for your parents to be in a good mood before asking them if you can have a sleepover, using friendly/suggestive gestures (e. g., "nodding in the affirmative during your question" while talking, and asking for things nicely or in such a way so that the person is most likely to give you a favourable answer are simply part of how we're socialized.

People who take issue with your Take probably don't realize that manipulation is part of socialization and isn't necessarily inherently "evil" or intended to bring harm to the other person. If you've ever smiled at another human being as part of your job or out of obligation, guess what? You've engaged in manipulation.

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THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

myTake Owner

You've got it. Some people are just up in arms because I'm literally pointing them out and saying, look, these are ways people get what they want. People are lying to themselves if they say, they would or have never done any of these in an attempt to get something they wanted or needed. There is nothing evil smiling or nodding or asking questions and giving choices. Your intent is not to harm the other person in anyway.

What Guys Said 15

Maybe it's just because I'm unbiased but I would give an attractive person or a bum 50 cents and have done it before. I'd do the same for buying a meal. Who ever seemed to need it more would get it if I had to choose between two people.

hmm, interesting but for the first one, I've helped plenty of people, whom i have considered attractive, and those i have not

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myTake Owner

I'd venture to say everyone has, however, this is about getting what you want, not you helping others... and if you are trying to get something from someone else, employing a smile, being disarming, and friendly will go further than scowling or approaching someone dead pan.

What Girls Said 6

Convince them it was their idea is the useful one, people hate attractive people. I think it is more 'be of high social status' cleanliness and posture fall more into the lines of the nice category.

Being the prettiest person in a room is the fastest way to make everyone hate you though. People immediately step back and scowl. One or two "pick up artist" types may be brave enough to talk to you, but that only reinforces everyone else's disgust. And the "brave" ones will usually just make a crude joke and turn to look at their friends for approval. It is the visual equivalent of telling someone your iq score.

Good write up though, don't listen to the haters, some people want to watch their life spiral downward with the satisfaction that they can blame someone else, and some people like to take control of their actions and try to make them better.