Feb 19, 2009

Pantyhosehave, to me at least, much in common with wine. I go through a lot of both for starters. Beyond that, the quality, consistency and value for the dollar of both have improved in recent years, with great strides made at the lower end of the cost continuum. There are $3.00 bottles of wine out there that are not offenses to the palette. You might not want to drink them nightly, but in the unlikely event of a global financial crisis, you could find a way. Lets hope we never see the day.

Ahem. This week, we approach the $3.00 pantyhose threshold my dear, sheer-legged friends. This price bracket has historically been owned by off-brand, convenience store emergency pantyhose that would be better used in the commission of a robbery or at best, straining whey from churned milk. You know the ones. By reputation only of course, I am quite certain. Goodness knows, we are a standards based society here.

But we are not snobs and our labor continues, this epic exploration delivered in weekly installments, charting a map of the universe of pantyhose. Fearless and foolhardy, Quixotic and all-consuming, and far beyond the corrupting influence of those vendors who would tempt me into a control top trap in return for undeservedly favorable reviews. I think. Nobody has attempted a bribe yet. I remain hopeful that I will someday test my resolve.

In any event, regular readers (I would like to recognize my parole officer, Mr. Abernathy) know the drill. For you first time visitors, here is the routine: I buy them, wear them, rate them and save Crossdressers the trouble of buying something that won’t appeal. Don’t mention it, really, there are upsides for me. So for this week, we fly under the $3.00 radar dressed only in No Nonsense Silk Indulgence Control Tops.

Before putting them on though, to better set the mood and to appeal to my own twisted sense of irony, I opened a bottle of Norman Vineyards No Nonsense Meritage. I am not kidding you. This is a fine and well regarded Paso Robles vineyard. They do not have a $3.00 offering. Their elegant Bordeaux style blend does however get my muse singing. Here goes:

No Nonsense is what the package promises and exactly what the product provides. But who amongst us does not want a little nonsense? I contend that if what we wanted was no nonsense, we would likely not be wearing pantyhose. There is something inherently nonsensical about pantyhose. And that is a part of what draws me to them. They are capricious, whimsical, frail and eye catching. They hide imperfections, capture light and demand attention. They are as light as air, and yet they insist on your attention at your every move. They are romantic and beguiling. They exist in a universe that values not practicality. No Nonsense is attempting to create a parallel and practical universe, and this is a universe I am sure that I want a one-way ticket to.

When I liberated my new hose from their practical, plastic, purse friendly pouch, it was clear at first touch that I was getting great value. They feel fine and are well made. They applied themselves to my legs well and took shape comfortably around by hips and butt. Perfectly serviceable. If No Nonsense was a girl in your Junior year Algebra class, you would say that she has a nice personality, and would be happy to dance with her.

In fact, you really want to look closely to find things to quibble about. The panty is just plain. I can live with that. The 14% Spandex leg shows the horizontal strands too clearly. True, very few people will get close enough to notice, but if you spend any time looking at your own legs, you will. And then, just when you are considering that you are being too harsh on these hardworking, high value hose you begin to feel the heat building on your leg.

They breath poorly. I know that after a long day confined in a nice fitting pair of day sheers it is an airy pleasure peeling them off, but I was a mere 15 minutes in captivity and starting to get itchy. The prospects of the full day loomed as impossible. I thought perhaps I was experiencing vicarious hot flashes, remembered my commitment to you, and settled in for the day. It wasn’t a delight friends. And 2 hours into it, I threw in the towel. And then I toweled off.

I am not done with No Nonsense. I have heard too many good things from too many smart girls. I will test a more sheer version. The lure of the < $3.00 pair is considerable. A perfect offering in this category is not likely, but I want a better offering than this weeks sacrificial pair.

And now to the rankings. The chart compares the No-Nonsense next to their closest price point competitors, L’eggs so that you can judge (and argue if you like) their relative merits. No Nonsense winds up in 9th place out of 11th tested competitors. Our sleek and cool L’eggs remain at respectable 4th and 6th.

Talk amongst yourselves. Or leave a comment here. Next week, I am going to go out on a second date with Donna Karan. She called me up and promised me that we would have even more fun than last time out. I think the world of her, but am just not certain that I can afford such a glossy girl in the long run. I so enjoyed my bottle of No Nonsense wine though that I simply could not say no….

1 comment:

tactilicious
said...

The older no nonsense were nicer, made in Italy, flat seams, and all for 3 or 4 bucks. They had a hicut control top, and a lowcut version too. pretty good for the cost in particular, I found the the weave to be a little coarse.

About this part of me

Hello. I've been quiet about this for some time. How long? Since age 5. I remember distinctly an attractive friend of my mothers visiting. First pair of fishnets I clapped eyes on, and the world came into very, very sharp focus.

I wanted to have the beautiful woman in some inexpressible way, but I also wanted the things that made her womanly.

The Sears catalog would thud onto our front step. Fishing tackle and camping gear surely. But it was the 60 or so pages of confounding and compelling foundation garments that really got my attention on a rainy day.

Long line bras, open bottom girdles, and pant liners. Stockings, garter belts and pantyhose. Curves and crevices different from mine. And all of the revealing and concealing and vaguely hobbling dresses and shoes and hats that went on top of them all. Choice, complexity, mystery and forbidden fruit. A powerful brew that buzzes me still.

This desire has been with me forever now. It washes in and draws me out. I often swim against the tide. I sometimes let it pull. I don't believe that its going away though, and so its time for me to court it formally. And in giving it this space, perhaps understanding it better.

If you feel, in some way, these same things, I really hope this is helpful.

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Petra's fine print ...

Thanks for visiting. Petra keeps a file of findings, experiences, thoughts and hopes about all things crossdressing here.

This blog is open to and welcoming of the visits and interests of all crossdressers, the transgendered and transitioning, the curious and the spouse/partner, and by anybody who is just not judgmental.

Please feel free to leave comments, and feel confident visiting any of the sites listed here. Keep in mind, that my personal experiences may not match yours. If they differ, or if you want to introduce another vendor or service to me (and our new friends) well just drop a line.