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The year you have your first baby it's kind of tough to think of anything major happening that year other than the baby, but 2016 surprised me with all that I was capable of, in more ways than one.

We took a surprising amount of flights which I didn’t expect (44 totaled between the three of us) with Trey clocking in 10 of those. Challenging but doable, growing for sure.

Other key stats: the amount of books I checked out from the library (56!), mostly pregnancy, birth, or baby related, and the rest design focused or cookbooks.

We went on fewer dates but I remember them more, mostly for the uninterrupted conversation and less about the restaurant, and how sweet it is to get time together at this stage of life. We’re shooting for quality over quantity here.

My word for 2016 was grow. It was a tough year for me; growing pains I guess. I had a long and difficult pregnancy, and then unrelated to the baby, we got difficult news more than once. But, I do feel like I grew in huge ways; the obvious one (I gained and lost nearly half my body weight, I became a mom, etc) and the not as obvious ones: the ones not shared on social media and harder to pinpoint, the quieter, subtler, but life changing ones. (Our baby also participated in grow by tripling his birth weight in 6 months instead of the standard 12. #bigbabyclub)

We won the lottery in the baby department with Trey, and although having a baby always involves work, it’s the kind of work that you want to work for, because it’s so beyond rewarding. He’s a complete delight; he’s happy and giggly and cuddly and chunky and all the best things about babies. The amount of happiness he brings us daily is almost absurd. When I think back on this year, what I mostly feel is just so very thankful.

What I learned this fall is that while wonderful, post-baby life left me with a fraction of the time I had available for work. I took on way too much. This left me stressed out, resentful, and disappointed. I was living into the extremely high and unrealistic expectations I placed on myself in the name of wanting to DO IT ALL which proved to be unhealthy and so detrimental to me.

I said no last year more than ever before, and I will continue turning down many, many good opportunities, because I have one important thing on my plate right now: taking care of Trey. My inbox also requires attention and is important, but less so. I remind myself that someday, I will have more time. What will remain decades after this busy time of life is not the emails I could get back to or the income I made but the memories I have of the time I spent with my child.

I scaled way back, and at first it felt foreign and hard, but I’m leaning into it more. I’m realizing that my capacity is not defined by anyone else’s capacity. Just because someone else is doing XYZ + ABC does not mean I have to. I want to find my limits, and live in that space, of taking on just enough to feel productive in my work but also at being a present mom. I want to succeed at both, and to do that I need to guard my time fiercely and confidently.

The two books that had the most profound impact on me this year were: Present Over Perfect by Shanua Niequist and Chasing Slow by Erin Loechner. Both carried the message that we’re doing too much and it’s ok to do less and maybe take a breath once in a while. I devoured these books and hope that they steer a new course for me next year.

My word for 2016 is PLAY. I need this reminder that it’s just as important as work. Playing with Trey, yes, but also play for me. Getting outside more, working exercise back into my life more, less time in front of screens, more time on the floor. This is my small reminder to not take myself so seriously and to remember to have fun while I’m creating a life.

In 2017 I will be turning away from the crazy hustling that left me stressed out and overbooked, and instead creating space for playing, simplicity, and lightheartedness. I want a calmer, happier, slower life. Play is the word I’m choosing to help me do just that.

Allie Seidel

Hi, I'm Allie.

I'm a mom and Pediatric Speech Therapist, and currently spend my days enjoying those two things. Here I write about DESIGN, MOTHERHOOD, STYLE AT HOME and LIFE in Seattle. Click HERE to read more about me. Say hi at allie@allieseidel.com.

That two kid life can be so crazy at times but then are moments like these that catch my breath and make me remember how fast this is all going. The longest shortest time, the all-in years, the wildest and the most joyful and sometimes the most insane. At Lake Almanor earlier this summer we were sharing bucket list items at a family dinner (and my 92 year old grandma said she wanted to go zip lining so that’s the kind of shoes I get to fill) and I thought about my biggest dreams for this season and realized there are many (take that Disneyland trip we didn’t get to last spring, go skiing as a family) but most importantly, I want to parent from the long-term perspective at the front of my mind. It’s so easy to miss the big picture in the middle of our ordinary, mundane, daily lives, and there are a million tiny tasks to attend to and get lost in when raising small children, but when I can remember what the point of all this is anyways, it shifts my parenting in a major way. It’s not easy to do, but I think it changes everything. Parenting mental challenge, accepted. 🙌🏼

Vancouver was a blast! And insane. The moral of the story is: traveling with kids is a lot of work and takes some strategic planning, but the adventure is worth it. My best tips: high hopes, low expectations, and more snacks. 🙌🏼

So ready. Happy first day, Trey! 🎉

We’ve had to stay close to home for so much of this past year that it felt good to get to leave the COUNTRY. Hello BC. Usually we see friends or family when we travel but this is our first vacation just us! Except it’s not really a vacation since we are responsible for the small children we brought. So basically it’s just parenting and managing the tantrums and handing out snacks in a different location. 😂 Still fun. Still glad we came. Vancouver is a super cool city and I’ll share some highlights in my stories. Happy anniversary/first family trip to us. 🎉

Still finding each other amidst the chaos. 😂 It’s our 6th anniversary today! What a year it has been for us. Unexpected, complicated, stressful, but we navigated it together and we now have a stronger, richer marriage for it. Happy to celebrate every year, but especially this one. ✨

As of next week this room will be home to a preschooler! 🍎 We’re starting to think about chores and the message we want to send with that. I’m convinced there is no one right way to parent, even among siblings, and so much of it is trial and error (and we have definitely had our share of errors). 😂 We’re trying out a few things including that beautiful chore chart by @mydaughterflorence_. So far it’s been lighthearted and encouraging and a fun way to focus on the positive. (A good reminder for us all.) 🙌🏼

Three months with this smiley girl who lights up our whole lives. ✨

I know there are no guarantees in life so I never really expected to have a girl, but now that I’m here I just have one question. How many bows is too many? 😂🙋🏻‍♀️🎀😍