Maxed out

JJ Geddyup: The Maxwell interview

Editor’s Note
:
This is Max’s 600
th
Maxed Out column. He thinks it’s a big deal, law
of round numbers or big numbers or something like that. Hell, I don’t
understand him half the time either. But he whined enough about finding some
suitable way of celebrating it that I decided to give him the week off. Sort
of. I’ve dispatched his low-rent friend, J.J. Geddyup, to interview him. JJ
agreed but pressed the point that if he was going to write the column, he was
going to get paid for it. Fair enough.

JJ: So, dude, 600 columns.

Max: I’m not doing this, JJ. Where does
Barnett get off sending you to interview me? Then
paying
you instead of me? I shoulda kept my mouth shut.

JJ: I thought it was your idea. That’s what he
said. Besides, I need the dough.

Max: Whaddya mean you need the dough? I
thought you were suckin’ the VANOC teat.

JJ: They fired me.

Max: What happened? Bring something in on
budget and make the others look bad?

JJ: If you must know, I tried the old
contractor’s trick with ’em. Told ’em I couldn’t finish the job they hired me
to do without more money.

Max: Sounds reasonable. Whadya ask for?

JJ: Two million.

Max: Two million!? How gullible did you think
they are?

JJ: Is that a serious question? Anyway, they
offered an extra mil… but I have principles.

Max: None I’ve noticed.

JJ: Okay, I was getting tired of being their
bagman. Hey, I’m supposed to be interviewing you here.

Max: So. Edit.

JJ: What’s that mean? Never mind. First
question: Have you stopped beating your wife?

Max: What!!!?

JJ: Just kidding. Always wanted to ask a
have-you-stopped-beating-your-wife-yet question. Okay, how’d you get started
doing this?

Max: This is lame. Why don’t you just ask me
my favourite colour or something?