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This morning on the wooded trail I walk every morning, I became enthralled with the variety of types of trees along the way and how much trees are like a metaphor for human beings.

Many trees were beginning to leaf and some even were blooming. Some stood tall, rich in color with perfect symmetry, while others had twisted trunks, knot holes, bulbous nodules and leafless, contorted branches. Some looked barely alive and others were thriving and vibrant, with many in between birth and demise. It dawned on me that the beauty of the trail is in its diversity of the many unique trees. Regardless of the array of shapes, sizes, colors, and varying degrees of well-being, each is exquisite and plays a role in bringing the trail to life.

I realized my favorite trail would be rather dull if all the trees were alike and flawless. There was so much beauty in their differences and their flaws.

Often women tell me they know exactly what they want in a man

and won’t settle for anything less to find true love. They’ve written out a list of qualities that they must have and sometimes include things they don’t want—the absolute deal breakers. In my opinion, making a list of qualities you want in a man is like making a grocery shopping list without having a recipe for what you want to cook. Let’s see, I’ll buy onions, pickles, tomato sauce, chocolate chips, eggs, Tabasco, and cottage cheese. I like all of those foods, BUT if I threw them all together in a pan and baked it in the oven, I doubt anyone would want to eat it! Let me clarify what I’m saying with the following examples of a good man-list gone bad when it comes to the relationship recipe. (more…)

When you hear people say surrender and let go, don’t you sometimes think to yourself — easy for you to say?

Handcuffs are not the kind of surrendering I’m talking about. Here’s what I mean. When you’re troubled over a confusing relationship, and you don’t know where it’s going or what to do, you’re thinking he’s the love of my life, but his behavior says he may be thinking this isn’t working for me.

Then your girlfriend tells you just to surrender and let go of the outcome, and that if it’s meant to be, it will be. Ugh! None of us likes that kind of advice when things are falling apart or we feel threatened in some way with a relationship.

And what does that saying mean anyway? And how do you actually do that when your emotions are strong and you really want the relationship to work?(more…)

I just read an article I want to share that really got me fired up and provoked some strong emotions in me!

Lori Gottlieb is an American author of a new book called Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. She’s interviewed in this article by Amy Willis, a writer for Telegraph, an online dating service in the UK. Gottlieb claims that women who have failed to find their perfect partner by the age of 30 should give up their search for Mr. Right and settle instead for Mr. Right Now.

Wow! When I read the first few paragraphs of this article, I was stunned that someone would actually assert that women over 30 should settle for less than their expectations in a man.

If you’ve never believed you get to choose your dream man, then you may not have given serious thought to how you go about it. If you wander around my blog, you’ll find lots of information on how to visualize your own dream man, which is one of the first steps to attracting him into your life for real. It all starts with clarity—figuring out exactly what qualities in a partner will be the best match for you.

Now you may think you already know what you want in your dream guy, and perhaps you do. But if the only guys you’ve ever dated are falling far short of your ideal, maybe you want to take another look at what those ideals really are.(more…)