Dr. Frasier Crane: After one night out with you in a bar, the man is ready to throw away three weeks of intense analysis. Martin Crane: Well, Fras, the guy's finally having a little fun. Don't you want him to be happy? Dr. Frasier Crane: I am not trying to make him happy! I am trying to cure his depression. Kenny Daly: Hey Marty, does this remind you of anything? [Kenny downs his cup of coffee like a shot of liquor] Kenny Daly: Ow, hot!

Bulldog Briscoe: Roz, you just missed the classic prank of all time. I'll admit it, this was my masterpiece. Roz Doyle: Oh, who, who? Who'd you get? Kenny Daly: [entering] There he is! Bulldog Briscoe: I got this friend down at the impound lot, who came across a smashed-up BMW, same make and model as Frasier's. Roz Doyle: You didn't! You got Frasier! Bulldog: I had his car towed from the garage, the wreck went in its place. Kenny Daly: The doc totally freaked when he saw it. First he started swearing, and then he implored the heavens, and just when his lip started trembling, Bulldog comes out, tells him it's all a prank. Bulldog Briscoe: Hey, Bulldog observes the mercy rule. Besides, I got the whole thing on tape.

[during Frasier's 2,000th show] Frasier: Roz, what do we have next? Roz: It's time for another blooper. Frasier: Oh, well, I believe we're up to number four, as voted by you, the listeners. Here's what happened when a certain producer didn't realize her microphone was on, during the show... Roz: [on tape] Now what the- [beep] Roz: Is this? You call this a- [beep] Roz: Paycheck? How the- [beep] Roz: Am I supposed to live on this-?! [beep] Roz: I'm gonna have a little word with that- [beep] Roz: -damn station manager, walking around here like he owns the mother- [beep] Roz: -ing place! Kenny: [who's entered] Can't believe that wasn't voted number one.

Kenny: Hey, Doc. Merry Christmas. Frasier: Hi, Kenny. My, the station has certainly outdone itself this year with the "Christmas in Mexico" theme. Kenny: It was my idea. It hit me when I realized their sauces are red and green. Frasier: Well, that's why you're the boss.