Throughout January, we’re going to talk about releasing. To make room for abundance, joy, balance, and peace, it’s important to let go of the old stuff that no longer serves your highest good. January is a great time to take a personal inventory and set a solid foundation for the year ahead. What elements of your life make you feel good? What elements deplete you? To the latter, I say, “Thank you, but I don’t need you any more. Bye now.”

#1. Negativity

We all know someone (or are someone) who is a “glass half empty” person. Or even a “glass half full…of poison” person. We come by it honestly. We live with a constant drip of suffering and hatred from nearly all media sources. Here in Nebraska, the winter months are grey and gloomy, making it difficult to maintain a sunny dispositionAnd, like many people I know, I came from a family who used negative language as the norm. We weren’t complaining per se, it was just normal to walk around the world thinking, “That’s never going to work. That guy’s an idiot. Ugh, what fresh hell is this?” I was well into my thirties before I even recognized that my baseline thoughts were negative. But once I started really tuning in to what was going on in my head, I was disturbed by how dark and ugly it was in there. I decided to change it, and thus my journey to Demanding Joy began.

Here’s what I know for sure. Negative thoughts are harmless…unless you believe them, in which case, they are totally destructive.

Your subconscious mind believes what you tell it as truth…and behaves accordingly. If you subconscious mind hears you say, “This isn’t going to go well”, it responds by saying, “Okey doke! I’ll make sure it doesn’t.” If you are thinking negatively about any given task, you are so much more likely to make mistakes or to say the wrong thing. That’s your subconscious mind working to achieve what you told it to do – make sure that it doesn’t go well.

Whatever you are trying to achieve in your life, what you focus your energy and attention on will grow. You will move in the direction you’re looking. So you want to make sure that you’re looking at what you want rather than focusing on (and therefore moving toward) something you don’t want. This is more than wishful thinking. Positivity creates an upward spiral. What you think affects your decisions, which impact what happens around you, which reinforces your pre-existing beliefs. So, if you go in thinking, “This is going to be terrible”, you will inevitably come out saying, “See? I knew that was going to be terrible,” thus completing the negative cycle. Things will actually play out much better if you start with a belief that good things are coming your way.

Even with the intention to think more positively, you can’t simply stop thinking thoughts. Telling yourself, “Stop thinking negative thoughts!” will not be effective. It’s like thinking, “Don’t think of a purple dragon!” See? You just thought of a purple dragon, didn’t you? Instead, you have to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Each time you hear yourself think something negative or nasty, squash it with a different, more intentionally chosen thought. Literally leave no room in your mind for ugliness.

It takes time to build new habits, so keep at it and treat yourself with kindness and patience. Once your conscious mind gets into the habit of feeding positive thoughts to your unconscious mind, things will start to change. Your attitude and mood will improve. Your energy will improve. Your habits and behavior will align to your true intentions and desires. Good things will begin to happen. Your thoughts will clear the path and allow good things to come your way. The more you focus on the good, the more good will come to you.

So I say, “Thank you, negativity. I know that you are trying to protect me from vulnerability and I appreciate it. But I’m good now. Your protection is not good for me so I release you. I now look to a more positive future. Good bye.”

Changing your thoughts is the foundation for changing your life. It’s a process and it’s not easy. Need some help? Reach out. I would love to help.