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Every time I drive on California's infamous freeways, I am reminded that my life and well-being is often in the hands of the dude next to me who is shaving, the woman on the other side applying mascara, and the teenager behind me texting her "BFF", sipping her very hot caramel frappuccino while steering her car with her knee.

People do some interesting things while driving, don't they? My favorite is when I'm driving on the freeway and a driver of a car (probably a silver or white Toyota Camry) decides to move into my lane without communicating his intention by using the turn signals. My first indication that he wants to merge into my lane is when I see the "OH FUDGE" look on his face as he (finally) realizes I was in the lane first. (My second indication is when he "flips me off" as if it was my fault!)

As drivers, it's our responsibility to clearly indicate our intentions to the drivers around us. If I'm making a lane change, I need to use my turn signals in enough time to allow other drivers to prepare. I need to make sure that my brake and reverse lights work. The law requires us to even use hand signals if our turn signals don't work!

Why all of these rules and regulations? Because driving is dangerous and it's vital that everyone on the road clearly communicate their intentions! If you don't clearly communicate what you're doing and an accident occurs, you may be held responsible for the damage.

The same is true in our communication with the people around us!

So often when communicating with people we end up being like the guy who doesn't use his blinkers, hits another car and then says, "But I thought he saw me!" Or perhaps he would say, "But he should have known that I was changing lanes. It's only obvious! COME ON MAN!!"

It's our responsibility to make sure that the thought we want to communicate is the thought that is being communicated. It isn't the responsibility of those around you to read your mind, or see what you intended to say, as opposed to what you actually said. This means that we need to learn, observe and be respectful of the different ways that people communicate, so that we can speak each other's language.

How can I know how to communicate clearly with the people in my life?

The first way is to observe what people say and do. The people around you telegraph what they need from you~you just need to observe, without judging and without trying to change to control people! (I know, that's difficult at times!) Some people are more extroverted, others introverted. Others communicate VERY directly, while others communicate so indirectly it's hard to know what they're trying to tell you! Be a good student of people and watch and observe.

Second~it's always a good idea to ask someone how they prefer to communicate. Would they rather an email instead of a live conversation? Do they want you to ask them if you're free before jumping into a story? Is there someone who could really use encouraging words in person, instead of an "impersonal" email?

Then once you have a better idea of how the people around you are "wired" you can take the steps you need to use the right "turn signals" at the right time with them.

Yes I know~we've all seen these "Five Things" and "Five Ways" lists all over blog posts, but this one is different. Promise! Well, at the very least, I know these ideas will help you be a more effective manager...especially number one!

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1) Better Coffee in the Office: Listen, Folger’s was great for your parents and all, but in the office, isn’t it time for an upgrade? And please offer real cream along with the powdered stuff! (Have you seen what’s in the powdered creamer?)

Alright, so this isn’t really a completely serious resolution-but there are things you can do to show your people that you really do care about them, that may not cost as much money as you think-and coffee isn't a bad place to start! Remember, a happy office is a more productive office!

2) Read Two Professional/Personal Development Books This Year: One of the simplest things you can do to increase your effectiveness is to be mentored by some of the top leadership minds in the world … and you can do that by reading their books! I would recommend that you read one book in the first half of the year and another book in the second.

I’d also recommend that you pick up a journal and take notes, jot down thoughts, ideas, inspirations that arise from your reading.

Here are some books I love:

Winning with People-Discover the People Principles That Work For You Every Time-by John Maxwell

Monday Morning Mentoring-Ten Lessons to Guide You Up The Ladder by David Cottrell

Tuesdays With Morrie- by Mitch Albom

3) Set a Positive Tone When You Walk into the Office: Do you remember when you were just starting out that feeling you had when you knew the manager was coming into the office-and how the entire mood of the whole place could change instantly depending on the mood of your manager?

The same thing is happening today.

Your people watch how you enter the office and their mood can be determined by yours. After all, if the boss seems ticked off and angry, your people aren’t going to want to act like they’ve just won a trip to Disneyland. They’re going to sit at their desks, on pins and needles, wondering what they should do and how they should do it.

So regardless of your actual mood-when you walk in the office, greet everyone, smile, say, “It’s good to see you!” and then if you need to isolate yourself in the office for a little bit, go and do it so you don’t bring the whole office down.

4) Find Out What Drives and Motivates Every Member of Your Team: We are all driven by something-if you can figure out what truly motivates your people to get up in the morning and come to work, you can bring out the best in them. Incidentally, the motivation is probably not just the paycheck!

Schedule some coffee time with your team members, individually, and ask them what motivates them, what drives them, what makes the day rewarding or deflating, what do they want to do with their lives and how does their job tie in to their “big picture.”

5) ABC-Always Be Coaching: One of your most important functions is giving constant feedback and coaching to your associates. They want to do well…they really do! So when you see them doing something well, be sure to acknowledge it, both personally and publicly.

When someone’s actions need correcting, do it as soon as you can and do it in private! I know it’s not always a fun talk to have, but they will appreciate your doing it now, than telling them about it six months from now during their performance reviews.

Rommel Anacan

I am a national speaker, trainer, and strategic consultant to companies and organizations. I'm alsothe president and founder of The Relationship Difference a professional and personal development company in Orange County, California.

My passion is helping people succeed by helping them connect, communicate and engage with the people around them more effectively.

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