Middle Australia offers it advice hotline

AFL
Melbourne FC
When in front by 44 points in the last quarter, try not to lose

Essendon FC
Don’t take anything that is not approved for human consumption. That is generally an indication that it is bad.

Collingwood FC
Losing to Port Adelaide is like being beaten by your retarded little brother. Your parents may like it, but the rest of your mates guffaw

To the annoying Eagles supporter sitting behind me last week, who kept screaming in our ears all night.
Sucked in

Richmond FC
If you keep winning, you will miss out on 9th position

MIDDLE AUSTRALIA OBSERVATIONS
CRICKET
Best sledge this week goes to the Australian Newspaper journo who said: We always knew that Shane Watson was physically fragile. What we didn’t know was that he was fragile mentally as well.
Appears that he is a big sook after all.

TENNIS
Proof at last that grunting is deliberate and not part of extreme exertion in shot making. I watched Sharapova produce a huge grunt whilst doing a DROP SHOT. It takes a lot of effort obviously.

My advice to the women playing last night after hitting a perfect deep, wide attacking return then watching them sit on the baseline and wait for it to come back instead of finishing off the point. “Get into the net”. They didn’t seem to hear.

CYCLING
After reading Tyler Hamilton’s book, it’s hard to have any faith in cycling. Especially as the average speed is creeping up again.

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