I... love tech-no-logy! Always and forever... But damn if it continually isn’t being used irresponsibly within the confines of human nature.

​Back in the dark ages before the Internet, when you liked a girl your options were either...

A. Ask her out in person, or

B. Call her up and ask her out over the phone.

The vast majority of guys were too petrified to ask girls out in person. The phone was also scary, but it at least eliminated the possibility of an in-person crushing blow to your self-esteem.

Since text messaging has far and away surpassed the phone call in the past decade as the least painful way to be potentially be rejected, it has become the default method for most younger guys to build rapport with women before asking them out.

DEFINING THE PROBLEM

FAQ: Everything was going so great, we were texting/talking all the time, and then she just stopped responding/ghosted/flaked. What the hell happened?

Being too available is by far the most rampant interest killer in new relationships today. And no, it doesn’t matter if she was the one doing the initiating. IT STILL LOWERS HER INTEREST LEVEL!

​Women want the feeling of the chase, of winning you over. being overly available is the exact opposite of having to chase you and downright boring to her subconscious, the thing that controls whether you stay or go.

Aloofness on the other hand is mysterious. When you’re not around all the time she has a chance to fantasize about you and wonder what you’re doing, and that in turn builds interest.

THE FIRST RULE OF TECH TALKING TO A GIRL:

Phone, text, and Internet chitchat should be used in very limited doses to intrigue and mainly to set up dates.

THE SECOND RULE OF TECH TALKING TO A GIRL:

THERE IS NO SECOND RULE! Go back and read rule one ten more times!

Are you adding value? If not, DON’T TEXT!

Show her that you’re personable and not a creep. Keep the conversations short and positive.

Set the date.

Get off the phone!

Take that time you were going to spend trying to win her over by continually talking to her, and put it towards having your own life, passions, and purpose!

Don't be on call to talk to her each and every time she reaches out. While you enjoy her company, you have other things going on in life that you need to take care of as well. Right? If not, then go get some.

Also don't talk to her when you’re flustered or upset, as nothing good will come of it.

GAMESMANSHIP

Make no mistake, technology in all it’s amazing ability to allow you to meet women, has also made it even easier for you to screw up their interest. Women can see what you're doing so much more than 5-10 years ago, especially if you’re active on social media daily.

Realize that if you ignore her requests for interaction, and she sees you interacting with others, she might get very pissed and avoid you all together out of spite.

Take Facebook for example. If she friend requests you and you don’t want to seem to eager to approve her, but yet she sees that you continue your activity with others, that could turn ugly.

​Another example would be Snapchat. If she sees that you opened her snap and then just didn't reply immediately, she’s more likely to be aggravated, versus you just not opening it for a while.

FAQ: Why can’t people just stop playing stupid games like this and be more upfront with their interest?

That’s a fantastic question and an understandable frustration, but the truth is our "deep down-ness" plays games. Our primal wiring is not logical, but instead chemical. It’s a place of raw feelings that compel action, and the field that the game of romance is played on.

​So what’s a guy to do? If he’s too available and communicates too much, it kills her interest, and if she finds out he’s ignoring her, her anger could rightfully also destroy her interest.

There are several options going forward in this ever more transparent age of technology.

First, you can limit your online presence, or at least not be as widely available publicly by switching your profile settings to private.

Second, you could be more upfront vocally and politely with her about your busy schedule, assuming you have a busy schedule.

Or finally, the best option is telling her that you find her a lot of fun to be around and very attractive, but just want to take it slow, either because you’re just starting out, or have had bad things happen when you rushed in in the past.

If she’s not okay with taking it slow, she’s not the type of girl you want to be around. Fools rush in, so don’t be foolish.

THE TAKEAWAY

​It cannot be emphasized enough to take it slow in the beginning stages of a new relationship, especially in the form of text and online social communication.