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The Proud, Gay, Young Man

Who are you?
I am a young person who is interested in community development, especially working with young people and children. I have done training as an HIV peer educator, and I am working on some other courses in youth leadership so as to become better informed to take up a leadership role. I am active in a few youth groups, and I am grateful for all the training I have received. I am currently working in trying to ensure that orphans and children vulnerable to HIV are getting care. My role models are two young men and a young woman who have mentored me and allowed me to be open with them. I have recognised that there is a need for leadership within sections of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) community, in terms of identifying important values so that we could support ourselves and not be self-destructive.

What is your sexual orientation?
I am gay, I am attracted to other men. I have had good relationships with girls when I was younger but after awhile, I have recognised and accepted that I am gay. For me, being gay means having some feminine qualities and sometimes I think like a woman.

Do you want to be a woman?
I would like to be a woman so that I could feel like a woman, but I do not have the desire to go through a sex change operation. I am comfortable with my body, and my genitals. I like dressing in drag , and I used to do it quietly at home, in front of the mirror. However, recently I took a major step, and participated in the Miss Gay Glory pageant.

What was it like to participate in the Miss Gay Glory pageant?
I wanted to help the organisers in terms of training and to make the pageant a success. I think it was important to give gay people a chance to be themselves and also to look at other things like intelligence and talent. I ended up participating in the pageant. The experience was very good for me in that I felt that I came out more to myself. I wanted to have fun, but there was serious aspects for the contestants to train and learn about their platforms, which were social issues. I felt that the makeup and the clothes would be a disguise, and that no one would know me. However, some people recognised me and shouted my name, not maliciously. I have been out a few times, dressed in drag, and had a good time in places where the owners are tolerant. I sometimes think of the risk, but I think that I want to be myself and sometimes I get tired of pretending. At work they ask about girlfriends, but I dont say anything. On the night of the pageant, there were some people from my church who were in the audience.

Are you religious?
Yes, I am religious. I follow Christian principles. I am active in the church, and I love working in the different groups, especially with children and young people. I like music and singing. I find that that gospel music is uplifting, and for me, the songs when I sing them, they make me feel good especially when I am down. I know that if the church elders find out about me, that I could be disfellowshipped. I am at a stage of my life, where I would not have any problems with that, because I am comfortable without the church and I know that I could worship God on my own. I think many gay people are spiritual. At the pageant, we included gospel and a prayer which all the contestants had written. The other people from my church who were there, some are gay and some are not, they are supportive. I took pictures with them.

How do you feel about HIV and gay men?
I am glad for the knowledge I have and I want to make sure that the LGBT community is informed and has access to services. I know that HIV is still a big risk to gay men. I always practice safe sex. I believe in monogamous relationships and even then, I will practice safe sex. Sometimes, people will say that they love me, and want to have sex without condoms. It is difficult to imagine, but this is still happening.

What is in the future for you?
I have to further my education while I make a living. I have to get some qualifications. In five years time or so, I hope to have my degree and be in a position to continue the work in community development. There are many options for me – community health, governance, working on leadership development. In terms of family, I know I cannot have children of my body. I think I will adopt when I am settled. There are many children out there who need care and I believe I am a fit person to look after them.