FUNNY old Adelaide. As comfortable as an old pair of tracky dacks with a sagging crotch and Chinese ugg books made from synthetic sheep in Shandong. The world’s biggest country town where it’s always bush week.

We hate the new and resist change. New tram from Hindmarsh to Victoria Square. Hate. Grumble. Whinge. Shocking waste of money. Then the tram’s a great success. New, improved Adelaide Oval. Hate. Grumble. Whinge. A great success.

The as-yet-unnamed footbride. Ditto. Useless. Appalling waste of money. Hate. Now everyone gambols across it toward the Adelaide Casino, the railway station and closed shops and cafes. It’s suddenly the best thing that ever happened. It’s had 23 opening ceremonies and now even has it’s own feng shui water feature which is a bigger version of those snapped up in Cheap as Chips.

We never learn. At the moment, the new Royal Adelaide Hospital. Hate. Grumble. Whinge. We need to get over ourselves in the City of Pop-ups and embrace and put a positive spin on things, much as I do.

Good news this week. The Adelaide City Council last year raised street parking fees sky-high for no reason but to raise money to pay for the hideous renovations of Rundle Mall and Victoria Square.

The council is horrified that the State Government wants to put a levy on city car parks to fund public transport infrastructure (which we sorely need) — but then proposed to raise parking costs by another 20 per cent. Thankfully, the council saw the hypocrisy of this and pulled its head in.

The older you get the more you worry about car parking. “Where will we park?,” is your constant concern. Street parking used to be free in the city on Saturday arvos, Sundays and at night, then 20c and now fully metered.

However, North Adelaide languishes in free parking so that the Brahmins can pop down to the shops, get a remedial massage and go to the odontologist. Lucky them.

We’re told to use public transport so, last Saturday night, I did. I went to the excellent Cabaret Festival on the buses. The nice chap on the 8210 1000 bus line told me which buses to catch from The Parade to town and back. He agreed that, for a Power fan, it would be a kind of hell to be on a Footy Express bus with all those posh, born-to-rule Burnside Crows fans. He found me a regular bus for real people.

I got to Stop 8 early. I’m always early. That’s how you learn things. Three Footy Express buses came along within 10 minutes. These buses are free for Crows fans from Burnside. They just have to show a ticket, a membership, a season’s pass, a David Jones card, a platinum American Express card, keys to a BMW, a bottle of chardonnay, a Burberry scarf, gold shoes, a watch chain necklace, an Oakbank car park pass or Liberal Party membership and they ride for free. What a relief.

The first bus had 12 Crows fans on board. The next two Footy Express buses were completely empty. What a shame. The Crows used to be reasonably popular but they’ve had three decades of sad, dismal failure, are still struggling for form, leadership and support and are feeling unloved. I take no pleasure in this but I’m thrilled at the huge success and enormous popularity of the glorious Power.

There was plenty of room on two empty Crows buses for the 19th man but he couldn’t be bothered.

If you need more public transport where you live, just think of two completely empty Crows Footy Express buses. My bus was chockers with real people not going to the Crows game. Battlers. Workers. We all had to pay. The poor get poorer and the rich get free Crows buses. It cost me $10 return.

It put me to thinking. Two people — $20. Four people — $40. It’s cheaper to park and involves less waiting and walking in the cold.

Public transport fee structures are arcane. There’s peak and interpeak and this card and that and 300 concessions. If Crows fans can have free public transport, why can’t everyone? Let’s make public transport free. There’s a good use of the government’s levy.

It cost me more to use public transport than the car and I helped subsidise free buses for rich people to go to a Crows game. Gee, thanks.

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