Arizona Birthers From Outer Space

Still Refuse To Accept Obama Born In Hawaii

So, if you were from another planet, say, Nut-tron, and you were circling the earth in your saucer looking for a place to land, where would you touch down?

OK, besides New Hampshire.

Arizona, right?

I mean, you'd want to hook up with beings that were on your same wavelength. And judging from the continuing popularity of the "birther" movement in Arizona, you would be welcomed there with open arms … um, provided, of course, you didn't come in through Mexico.

Birthers, for those who are not up on their conspiracy theories, are people who, despite all evidence to the contrary, refuse to believe President Obama was born in Hawaii.

I admit, I have a soft spot for birthers, but then I've always had a thing for extraterrestrials.

Donald Trump, who, while not being from outer space may have has his hair done there, is one of the country's leading birthers and a major backer of Arizona's efforts.

The Arizona legislature currently supports a bill requiring presidential candidates to present a long-form birth certificate, as well as a "circumcision certificate." Not only am I not making this up, but according to the website Salon, a recent poll found that 60 percent of Arizonans support the legislation.

Another birther sympathizer is Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett, who was making noise about keeping Obama off the state's ballot in the fall but now seems mollified after a lengthy exchange with Hawaii officials. We'll see how long this lasts.

Meanwhile, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe (Book 'em Dano) Arpaio went so far as to send a deputy to Hawaii to do his own birth certificate investigation. The trip turned up evidence of a nice excursion at taxpayer expense for the deputy.

While it is assumed the reason the birther issue won't die is because it sells well with the wing-nuttiest wing of the GOP base, there is also another consideration.

The presidential race is expected to be very close this year, and Republicans may be trying to solidify the "Men in Black" vote — you know, those who think the Hollywood movies are actually documentaries.

Levi Johnston Boomerangs

According to a story in Us Weekly, Levi Johnston is now broke and living back home with his mom.

Johnston's claim to fame, of course, is that he knocked up one-time abstinence spokesperson Bristol Palin, daughter of you-know-who, when they were teenagers.

According to a source quoted in the story, "Levi made more than $1 million (including posing nude for Playgirl) and squandered it on guns, boats and four-wheelers." (Some might argue with the use of the word "squandered" here to describe such spending.)

Johnston is expecting a daughter with his current girlfriend, Sunny Oglesby, who they plan to call Breeze Beretta, after the gun.

Johnston's former spokesman, a guy named Tank, disputed the Us Weekly story and said Levi is doing just fine.

We certainly hope so.

The Weak in Tweet

@jimboshea

If I lived next door to a guy who had 300 snakes in his house I'd want him deported.

On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles.(Retweet)

Dog Bounty Hunter canceled, now who will round up jaywalkers and people who pulled tags off of mattresses?