One Direction

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Boy bands are frequently a nice, big, easy target for populist malignment, and being that One Direction were to 2012 what The Backstreet Boys and N*Sync were to the ‘90s, now it’s their turn. Riddle us this, however: when was the last time you were forced to listen to this admittedly awful eunuch caterwauling? Never. We’ve yet to hear one song, let alone many songs that would necessitate the purchasing of an entire gun-rack. Not uselessly hating One Direction -- and, by extension, just about every other pop group in the universe -- is as easy as spinning the wheel on your iPod and clicking “Play melodic metalcore. Play it now.”