Lately
I've been noticing labels that are on food. And yes, lately I've
had no life. Anyways, just the other day I found a label, that's
common on a lot of food. It read, "For best taste results:
5/26/10." I foresee a lot of problems with this statement. First
off all, there's a lot of dimwits in this world of ours. Some might
think, "Ok. I'll just save it until that date. It might not taste
the best, but it'll still taste good." Um, no it won't. Not
unless you like mold, fungi and assorted bugs. Hey, if you like the
flavor, go for it. I personally prefer unspoiled food, but maybe
that's just me.

Instead
of this "For best taste results" label, here's what I propose
for the new label. It will read, "You should eat this food before
5/26/10 or there will be live growing things in it, and if you eat
you will be eating living things while they're still alive. That's
just barbaric. Oh and you might die from disease."

See,
it works.

Fun
Project: If you're looking for something fun to do this summer,
or in your life, here's a little project for you. Buy product that
has the words. "For best taste results: 5/26/10 (dates may vary)".
Then wait until 5/26/10 and eat the food. Then sue the company when
you get sick. Guaranteed to make you big bucks, and maybe even a spot
in the evening news. Oh and in court, put a good word in for my new
label. Thanks.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.