There was a time in my life I was so weary
I didn’t think I could carry on
This load that I was bearing
Had pushed me down so very far.
I asked for help from no one
I could make it on my own
I didn’t see how far I’d fallen
Or that I was so alone.

And I found Jesus waiting for me there
I cried Lord please help me,I can’t do it on my own
I’m weak and tired of fighting,I don’t want to be alone.
I heard that still small voice of Jesus
Down deep in my soul
He would not force me to surrender
He gave me complete control.

A love I cannot understand
Letting me make the choice
To keep these heavy chains
Or give them up for Him.

And I found Jesus and the love He has for me
He saved and freed me He is a part of me
My hope is Jesus and I know I’m heaven bound
I closed my eyes and waited
Quiet filled my mind
The noise of earth replaced
By the peace of Jesus Christ.

I started this as a song in 2004, and could never quite get it to come together at the end. By June 2005 I had picked it up again and finished it off as a poem. Although every time I read it, it sings in my head. It seemed at first that it was wrenched from my very soul, and it was my story. And well it could be. When I finished the poem I put it in one of my study bibles. And didn’t look at it again for 2 years. In June of 2006 my cousin Wanda came to live her last days at my sisters home. She was dying from ovarian cancer. Wanda had run from the Lord all her life and from the family as well, living across the country in Florida for 30 years. My sister was a wonderful caregiver, and when I could I helped and spent time with her. Many times I spent the weekends with Wanda in the hospital in Eugene. Always I would be praying what do You want me to say, help me to be You Lord to her. He was so faithful. Sometimes we would visit, watch old movies, do crossword puzzles. Sometimes she would feel so bad all she wanted was to hold my hand, to be near to her. Sometimes we would talk about the Lord and I would pray. Always I would have my bible and spend time with the Lord, there in my roll away bed. Some days she was very “childlike” and just needed comfort, on those days I would crawl into bed with her and cradle her in my arms, I would take the place of her mother. Her parents had both already passed away. In early June 07 I felt prompted to go see Wanda again, the Lord led me to that bible where this poem was. As I read it I realized it was her story. I packed my bags and went up for the weekend and read this poem to her. She kept that copy of the poem in a bible that was our grandmothers. The next week she accepted Christ into her heart. In Sept 07 Wanda went to be with the Lord, and they asked me to read this poem at her funeral. I was very honored.

It is never too late, only the Lord knows what our answer will be. Only He knows if we will open the door of our hearts and let Him in. Do not lose hope, listen to the still small voice of the Lord and follow His lead. When and if the Lord chooses to let us see their salvation, praise Him for it. Celebrate! Many times the road was long and seemingly impassable. But NOTHING is impossible with God!!