You think I’d had enough of putting myself in situations that scare the crap out of me but apparently not; I’m throwing myself under a bus, or should I say into a plane this coming Sunday.

I barely leave the house and here I am booked on a flight to New Brunswick - by myself! And I’m sure you’re wondering what the heck I’m thinking because I am!

I do this all the time; book things that “normal” people can do thinking that if I just buck up I can do them. Now here we are less than a week away and I’m starting to poop my pants - lol!

My oldest nephew got offered a job working a lobster boat by an old friend of his father’s and after not being able to find a full time job in Ontario, he jumped at the chance to move down East. He lost both his parents; his Mom when he was five and his Dad last year, and he’s been like one of my own.

Hence, the reason I’m throwing myself into a situation that is anxiety and thought provoking all at the same time, but I want to make sure he’s settled in before the weather changes. Sure, I’ll have my medical cannabis with me, but after making some calls, I’m thinking it’s just going to bring a whole lot of attention to me; someone that wishes they were able to wear an invisibility cloak.

A friend suggested I call the airport to find out what to expect when I get there; that I don’t spend too much time catastrophizing about it between now and then. Which I did, and they told me to go straight to airport security as soon as I “set foot” in the airport. They told me not to delay because if airport security catches me with an illegal substance before I’ve had a chance to tell them I have it, I could be detained ...or worse yet, put in jail.

Once I’ve found and spoken to airport security, they (airport security) will escort me to the police that work within the airport. There I will be questioned, asked to produce my medical marijuana documents and I’ve been told they may even want to check my prescription to make sure I’m not carrying more than I’m allowed. I’ve also been told they may want to search my bags and my person, so I need to be there a half hour earlier than the airline requires me to be, otherwise I might miss my flight.

Needless to say I’m nervous and I have visions of being strip searched and missing my flight, but that’s the catastrophizing that tries so vehemently to become part of my everyday life.

If I look hard enough there’s a positive note ...if the police detain me long enough, I won’t have to sit out in the open with all those strangers and they’ll escort me right onto the plane.

Plus all this stress around getting through the airport without getting arrested is helping me to keep my mind off the fact that I’m afraid of flying and Gary won’t be there to talk me down or hold my hand.

; I'm Still Here!

; I'm Still Here, is a guide to living with and surviving PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder. It is a true story written by a survivor describing the symptoms, triggers and treatments that are currently available.

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