(Optimistically.) We’re definitely on the up and up now. Mr Spall wants to speak with us face to face about this assignment. Something about it being top secret!

NARRATOR

And Miranda Thomas as Taya Ray Parsec.

TAYA RAY

Oooh, I wonder what it could be? Maybe we’ll be getting fancy disguises and going under cover!

NARRATOR

And featuring Nick Edwards as Mr Spall.

MR SPALL

Now I’m counting on you two to be discreet on this one. Don’t let me down!

NARRATOR

Episode number 8 – Secrets of the Deep

Location: General office noises in the background and then the door closes, shutting the noises out.

MR SPALL

Right, pull up a pew.

Chairs scraping.

MR SPALL

I wanted to bring you in for this briefing because we’ve got to keep this particular assignment rather hush-hush. There’s been a bit of an unexplained terraforming event at one of our recent sites – the location and further details are in your briefing pack. You need to go in and find out what went wrong. Discretion is key for this one. Don’t talk about this with anyone, all right?

SARAH

You’ve got it, Mr Spall.

MR SPALL

You know how the public gets when stuff like this gets leaked. They start panicking about the sky falling in or some such nonsense.

TAYA RAY

You can trust us, Mr Spall.

SARAH

And we sure appreciate you choosing us for this important assignment.

MR SPALL

Yeah, well, I get the feeling that you two are pretty good at finding creative ways to cover up mistakes. Only difference is, this time you aren’t the ones who made the mistakes in the first place…

Sound of van driving up over following line.

TAYA RAY

(Enthusiastically.) Here we are. I can’t wait to see it!

Sound of van door opening over following line.

SARAH

(Resigned.) I knew you’d say that.

As door opens, we hear rainforest noises, including some prominent croaking of frogs.

TAYA RAY

Oh, I love it! It’s awesome!

SARAH

(Not convinced.) I guess so.

TAYA RAY

Why oh why are supposed to fix this? It ain’t broke! Look at the vines and the lilies. And the frogs! They obviously like it just as it is. And the water looks so inviting!

SARAH

But Taya Ray, (Beat.) The water is purple!

(Beat.)

SARAH

Come on, let’s get suited up. Whatever is colouring the water could be dangerous. (Slightly mocking.) You wanted to go undercover for this top secret assignment? I guess this is your chance. Don’t forget your mask.

Rustling of protective clothing being put on over the following lines.

TAYA RAY

I don’t know why you’re so grumpy. (Brightly.) We get to go play detectives!

SARAH

I’m grumpy because I thought we were going to be investigating something slightly more serious than a purple lagoon!

TAYA RAY

Well, maybe we’ll get the chance to do that if we solve the mystery of the purple lagoon!

SARAH

(Sarcastic.) You know, I think there must be something in the water because that actually sounded somewhat sensible.

(Beat.) I’m going to be charitable and let that pass since you are wet and purple right now, ooh, and rapidly turning brown! It’s an empty container of purple dye.

TAYA RAY

Ohhhh! Yay! Mystery solved!

SARAH

Who would have guessed it? (Mocking, in grand tones.) The thing that was dying the water purple was… purple dye!

TAYA RAY

And who would have thought that falling on my face would be the key to solving the case!

SARAH

Yeah, way to take one for the team, Taya Ray! Hmm...

Turning over metal can, water runs out.

SARAH

Well, that's a relief. It is non-toxic. Just a vegetable-based dye concentrate. The can must have been dropped by a team some time back and has only now sprung a leak. The dye should break down and disperse harmlessly in a few weeks.

TAYA RAY

A few weeks?!

SARAH

Come on, let’s get back to the van and let Mr Spall know.

Footsteps/squelches as they head back to the van, over the following lines.

SARAH

And then I think maybe you’d like to take a bath?

TAYA RAY

And in some water-coloured water this time, please.

Clicks/beeps as Sarah reaches in through the window of the van to call Mr Spall on the com.

SARAH

Mr Spall. Brunel here. Do you copy?

MR SPALL

(Over com.) Ah, Brunel. Wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon. Have you discovered the cause of our, um, little situation?

SARAH

We certainly have. Nothing sinister at work here. We had a touch of luck in our investigations and came across the answer quite by chance.