Yeah, the funny thing is when I've told some of you lot what I was doing, no one said "you idiot, you can't link it to some jpeg that you've got on your computer, you're a 1st year computer student, we're geeks who've been doing this all our lives - yet we STILL can't help you do it right".

That's twice you morons have messed up trying to teach me. You're experts, I'm a fish out of water, and my failures are still more excusable than yours.

2-0 to me I reckon.

Banthafodder IT expert couldn't even get my clock working when he was trying to set up my first ever computer. I had to do it for him. I remember when I asked him if I could save Quicktime movies on a webpage, and he said 'Yeah of course you can you idiot'. Only he gave me the instructions for doing it with WMV instead. It was only after I told him the 10th time, that it was Quicktime, that he finally admitted that I couldn't save it and that he was wrong. I only hope you didn't attend the same IT training as him.

For some reason, when I think of you lot, I keep thinking about the scene from Zoolander where he throws the computer on the floor then is annoyed when he didn't see the 'files that were inside it' fall out.

Where's everyone gone? I was enjoying this. More fun that watching David Schwimmer screwing up whilst teaching his class in Friends or Steve Martin teaching his wife to throw knives at him in The Jerk. 'Throw them nice and hard so they'll stick'. I'm glad I'm not your padawan in real life guys. Fookming 'ell!

You haven't gone back to ZX spectrum days to start you're IT skills over again have you? Remember guys, I'm new to this shit, you lot are veterans, you may do it for a living but you're more out of shape than Banthafodder's bitchtits, shaking all over on his 'massive' 'groundbreaking' performance on Dance Energy.

Hot Damn PC Putzes. None of this woulda happened if you got a Mac like me.

To be quite frank I had more fun here than actually going out. This is quite a drug.

Yes, I do like to get angsty, there's times when it's quite enjoyable, especially as here I'm guaranteed funny replies. Plus it helps me get angry when doing my crazy Samurai warrior impressions complete with scary Japanese lines, when approached by gangs on the streets of Deptford. Trust me, this always works. Remember Shogun?

NOW, if you tell me the step by step way to put an image on my signature, I PROMISE I'll get those pictures of young prequel Banthafodder on here as soon as I can. Might be better to email it to me, to avoid humiliation - of everyone on here and their incompetence.

Everyone's left me. What did I do wrong!??!?! I was getting more attention here than I would've from the chicks if I went out tonight, now I'm more blown out than King Kong's backside after he's eaten my Mum's jungle of chilli plants.

Seriously though, in all honesty I did go to you guys for help and you lot did try, I thank you for that, but considering I followed your instructions and they were as useful as a fart in a spacesuit, and a few ships short of a fleet, I'm not really to blame too much am I? It was my fault maybe for not explaining myself properly to begin with, and playing up the Kirk anger, but I did get more laughs here than if I went out to some crappy drum 'n' bass party tonight.

So thanks all, and keep the insults coming. I may need to use them if the bus driver ever comes knocking on my door after I've flashed his passengers.

Knowing you're super human degree of hornyness, and previous history with random females on buses, you just gotta hope Kerry Katona doesn't get picked as an overweight hasbeen Bond Girl, otherwise you're well and truely fucked mate. Have you got a criminal record Kirk?

Flumm wrote:Knowing you're super human degree of hornyness, and previous history with random females on buses, you just gotta hope Kerry Katona doesn't get picked as an overweight hasbeen Bond Girl, otherwise you're well and truely fucked mate. Have you got a criminal record Kirk?

Criminal Record? Ummm, NWA, Public Enemy, Criminal Minded by KRS1. Heck any Hip Hop record I got has gotta be recorded by some drive by shooting criminal.

I did get done in Sydney for trying to steal Sambouqa bottles in the Coogee Bay Hotel. Long story.

'Cor you're just like a cocky fly, plucking away at a strand from a Spider's web, just waiting for him to come out and eat you, aren't you?

To think I had SUCH a great joke with that Fuckhoff pic. I just hope that tonight's events have been funnier in it's place. You've got here a bit late mate. It's been a bloody night here. A big massive battle. There's only a few of us left still here, sitting down, battle weary, tired, needing water, smelling, flashing.

Thing is, the pose in that sketch is the exact same pose I used to do standing in the dancefloors of all the nightclub birds. Sometimes it worked.... I also used to have a picture of Sean Connery as my ID that I used to flash to them too. With incredible results. So could start a new thread on pick up lines and techniques.

Anyway, I think the time is right for the real Ian Fleming Bond to be portrayed. Brosnan's Bond accomplished being a big box office action adventure hit rivalling all the Die Hards, Arnie films, and got a bit too far fetched with DAD, so now we're ready for something fresh and dark, just waht Brosnan always wanted.

Are you related to the great John Perryman? Who starred as 'Lizard' in Single Bars, SIngle Women and Watermelon Contestant in P.K. and the kid, and who of course is most famous as 'studly Cowboy' in Footloose...

alonzo..... my apologies you ho-bag! - banthafodderUK

...that was the funniest post I've ever read at AICN. Comedy gold. I'm stealing it and shooting it in nothing other than a static two-shot. - Kevin Smith

Agent Alonzo wrote:Are you related to the great John Perryman? Who starred as 'Lizard' in Single Bars, SIngle Women and Watermelon Contestant in P.K. and the kid, and who of course is most famous as 'studly Cowboy' in Footloose...

PHIL NOBILE JR. wrote:I can’t quite get my head around just what flavor of 007 Tom Hiddleston would be tapped to deliver. Frankly, if anything, THAT’S what makes his casting an exciting prospect. Giving an audience what they expect is what led to the lazier entries of the franchise, and much like the craignotbond.com days of 2005, it seems Eon will be charting its own course.

PHIL NOBILE JR. wrote:I can’t quite get my head around just what flavor of 007 Tom Hiddleston would be tapped to deliver. Frankly, if anything, THAT’S what makes his casting an exciting prospect. Giving an audience what they expect is what led to the lazier entries of the franchise, and much like the craignotbond.com days of 2005, it seems Eon will be charting its own course.