Sunday, May 23, 2010

Love! ????????????????????

So... everyone who knows me, KNOWS how I feel about men, relationships, love, and marriage....

Men (and women) we all want and need different things... sometimes these don't match. Most of the times these things don't match. The majority of relationships are not ones we intend to be in, but what society tell us they should be. In my opinion, the media, movies, books, and even fairy tales are the standards of many relationships... no wonder why the divorce rates is so high. Which leads me to marriage... ayayayay. So I have heard 'marriage changes everything,' I am not sure about that because I have NOT been married and I don't have the civil right yet either, lol.

On a funny note, an old teacher of mine in High School said, 'why would the gays want to be miserable like the rest of us by getting married!??!!?'

I get it now though.

Many people who get married get married for the wrong reasons, same thing with relationship- platonic AND romantic. Ex's of mine as well as friends seem to assume relationships are what they need in order to have an inkling of happiness, to cure loneliness, to feel secure.

People forget that happiness, security, and being content starts from within (as cheesy as that may sound)

How can you hope to have a relationship filled with growth and prosperity when you are not willing to grow and prosper on your own. In the wise words of the beautiful RuPaul, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"

This statement can not be more true- one most be happy and love oneself before they decide to join in a partnership (whether that is a relationship, marriage, pairing, or friendship). Because if you fail to do so how can you expect for someone to happy with you.

Misery loves company- and with the way many relationship are- it scares me to think about being in one-

I'd almost rather stay by myself alone. My friends are great and they understand where I am coming from, but really! To be committed to someone? To be romantically involved with someone? To TRUST someone? Aayayyayay.

But then I wonder- is it possible to love someone without society dictating what love is and how one shows it? Can I be happy with myself AND with another person, are THEY going to fuck up MY flow? Can someone truly love me for me?

I might be willing to risk all of this... I might. Not everyone is ready for this and many might not ever even want this... I guess it's all just one big journey. I hope that what you all want is exactly what you need.

1 comment:

love is crazy and so are relationships. these type of things all depend on you and the other person. things can be going fine one week and the next week you guys can fight and thing start to go to shit. you need to find someone who is like you and is on your level and that has a like mind as urself. cuz honestly this is the only thing i have found to make a relationship a happy and non stressful one. we are so busy with all these standards that yes MEDIA! puts into our heads tht xyz is who we are supposed to be paired with. people are so obsessed with looks and sex that they miss the point of who they are and who makes them the most happy. it is difficult to love someone else when u can't find it in you to love yourself. but you sometimes meet these people that wanna stick around u and want to help you.. and will be by your side no matter what issues you have. and you guys grow together and it could be such a beautiful thing. but that takes time and things need to be taken slow. thats also a mistake a lot of people make. they rush into things not knowing who the person they are dating really is. and then thats when the issues start to arise.. just my little two cents on it.