From mud huts, umqomboti and straightback to penthouses, expensive weaves and moet!

Y.E.S 56

When you are single, no one wants you. Its like you have it written on your forehead that this girl is single so she is not worth it. The moment you get a new man, other people start being attracted to you. All of a sudden you are

attractive to everyone. They start hitting on you. Why is that though? What makes a person more attractive when they are in a relationship with someone else as compared to when they were not in a relationship at all. I couldn’t get it. I had had a dry spell for a long time yet all of a sudden Sfiso, Mbuso, Simba and now this idiot Azwindini wanted me. Its something I can never understand! Now I was looking at Azwindini and honestly all my energy would have been sapped out was it not for the fact that I was angry.

“You have got to be kidding me! What do you want here?”

I asked him and my tone was immediately angry! I didn’t need this kind of drama.

“I thought I would surprise you. I came to tell you that I loved you. You are the one I want to be with!”

He said confidently.

“Are you out of your mind?”

I asked him angrily.

“You wouldn’t have slept with me if you didn’t like me? Come on, it’s not like you sleep with every Tom Dick and Harry!”

He said confidently.

“I think you should take this fight to your place!”

Mbuso said calmly. Crap, I had forgotten we were not at my place.

“No, I want you to leave! I don’t want you; I don’t want you to ever come visit me again ever! Leave!”

I told him.

“Leave and go where? I can’t go back to Rudzani because I broke up with her for you. I feel so guilty even now. She was the sweetest girl I ever knew then I slept with you her best friend and I don’t feel it anymore, it’s you I want!”

He continued,

“She is not my best friend!”

Was my retort but it came out so wrong. I could see the disgust in Mbuso’s eyes.

“Well we are friends but…that’s not the point. That night was a mistake and you know it! If you don’t leave I am calling the police!”

I told him.

“I don’t get why you are being like this. It was love at first. You had just met me. You knew who I was. You invited me to sleep at your place. You fucked me. All these things you did knowing that my girlfriend was Rudzani. Now I come to you to do the right thing and you try chasing me away like a dog? Nope, never!”

He said. I had tears in my eyes as he said those things and they stung. They were not tears of regret though, it was anger!

“It was a mistake. Get away from me!”

I said angrily and tried to walk away but he stood in my way.

“Wait please don’t go. Please don’t do that!”

He pleaded with me.

“No, don’t touch me! I don’t know you; I don’t want to know you!”

I told him slapping his hand away when he tried to touch my shoulder.

“I don’t believe you are a bitch that goes around having one night stands. I thought we had something!”

He said.

“Well it was a one night stand so deal!”

I told him angrily.

“So you are a bitch then!”

He retorted. I don’t think he expected what was about to happen next nor did I. Out of nowhere Mbuso punched him so hard he flew across the room.

“Call her bitch again I dare you? Where do you come from where you can call women that?”

I was so stunned I stood there with my hand on my chest!

“Dude I didn’t mean it like…”

He started to explain as he got up!

“I don’t want to hear it! Get the fuck out my house and if you follow her to hers I will break you!”

Mbuso screamed at him. He was not happy. I could see a vein sticking out on the side of his face. Remind me not to get on his bad side.

“I will leave but we are not through yet, you and I!”

Azwindini said pointing to me. I didn’t even know what to say. Azwindini went downstairs, took his car and left.

“Thank you so much for that!”

I said to Mbuso!

“You too get the fuck out!”

He said coldly. After the way he had punched that guy I was not going to even protest. I took myself out of his flat and went home. This was not happening.

“Mr Tizora what can I do for you?”

I asked him. I was not really in the mood to talk but seeing how important it was for me to be nice I had to turn on the charm.

“I wanted to forward you the rest of the documentation. I figured I should do it outside of office time to give you a chance to be always ahead of them!”

He said casually.

“Who is them sir?”

I asked him. For a moment there he did not res pond but I really was not sure who he was talking about.

“My company has given enough business to black members in white companies to know that always that first point of contact ends up being replaced for one reason or the other! It has never not happened and we would like this company to be the first were we work with whom we want to work with!”

He explains.

“So in other words you set me up for failure?”

I asked him.

“I don’t follow?”

That was his response.

“You already knew they would try taking me off meaning now I have to watch my back always. Why didn’t you warn me before you made me sign?”

I asked him.

“Oh you mean it like that. Yes and no. Yes we knew that they would try which they did even before we signed so you can’t avoid that and no you will not fail. We will give you all the tools to succeed that’s why am giving you this information. I am just making sure you never get caught with your pants down!”

He told me. He was being nice to me and I don’t get why. First was it because I was black business partner, a black woman or because he had personal interest in me. I was not sure.

“Thank you very much!”

I told him.

“Not a problem just send me your personal email address!”

He said. We hung up and I waited for the mail. There was a lot of reading to do and at some point I slept. I was more exhausted than I thought. I did not even eat. Around two in the morning I woke up because I was hungry. My lights were off, I don’t remember switching them off but ok. When I stood up to go to the kitchen there she was, my grandmother. I know I was supposed to have been scared but somehow I wasn’t.

“I decided I should come see you here to understand why you not coming to see me!”

She said.

“It’s because I am busy Gogo. I have so much work and my relationships are not going well on the side!”

I told her. She laughed.

“Relationships are a problem. Don’t look at me like that I was a girl once and boys used to fight for me! Women from my family have always been beautiful!”

She said and I could see her get lost in her mind. She was even smiling whilst she recalled.

“But we learned men are not the right path for us. We have to take care of our families first!”

She said sounding serious.

“Can I offer you some tea?”

I asked her and she nodded her head. I walked towards her and she disappeared right in front of my eyes. That’s when I woke up and sat up. There was nobody there. That was quite unnerving. I was not comfortable at all with this anymore. I was not even hungry but I went to my room. I was too scared to sleep so I continued reading what Simba had given me. It was very specific and information you would not know without reading.

In the morning it was back to work. My body felt tired. I was exhausted. I was not well at all. It’s like feeling I had the day I passed out. As soon as I got to work my phone rang.

“Status meeting in thirty minutes!”

My boss’s secretary said. Status meeting? What the hell is a status meeting? I remembered what Simba had told me about me being eventually shut out of this project from someone else of a fairer disposition. Could it be happening as he predicted.

“Morning guys!”

I said as I walked into the meeting with my notes in hand. It was the notes I made that morning.

“Morning, Lungi. I am glad you made it on time was worried you will be late.”

My boss said. Late? Who has a meeting at 8am in the morning? This was deliberate and everybody was there and had I been late I would not have been. I don’t know who they were. There 4 white male 2 white women and… Me . Welcome to the real private sector!

“There was a report that came out last night. I want to know we are on top of it because this project is too important and no offense Miss Mbatha, it should have gone to someone more senior!”

A white middle aged I had never seen said.

“Mr. Graaf, this is one my brightest. It’s in capable hands. I know the board is worried but you shouldn’t. The client asked specifically for her for us to secure this contract and we did even after you guys approved for Susanna to leave this office knowing how critical and asset she is!”

My boss stepped in for me. What was happening here?

“Susanna was sent to Cape Town as punishment for allowing a junior to secure such a huge contract under her watch. We calling a spade a spade here. Miss Mbatha here though a bright star like you said, is not ready.”

He emphasized. I finally recognized this guy; he was the operational head of the company. That’s why he was familiar. In fact everyone was familiar.

“Give Lungi a chance. I have confidence in her.”

My boss defended me. I did not trust Mr. Gold though. He must have known this meeting would be called.

“If she can tell us what’s happening since last night’s report then we can all call it day but if she can’t it means her eye is not all the ball.”

Simba had been right.

“Lungi you don’t have to. This is wrong!”

Mr Gold said.

“Its ok sir, I am ready!”

I might have been sleepy but I had gone through that report that Simba said I must read. I went through my notes and explained everything they needed to hear and more.

“Thank you that are why I have!”

I said to them with a smile, professional smile on my face. I had aced it.

“Is that settled then Mr. Graaf! She is on top of it, and you can see that she is on top of it!”

Mr Gold said it.

“Yes we see it but we need to have eyes on her. She must work with Nicolene on this one!”

He said standing up.

“Nicolene!”

I burst out!

“She is even more junior than me!”

I protested looking at my boss for him to defend me. He just looked down on to the table.

“Nicolene or you are out!”

Mr Graaf said and walked out.

I should have resigned!

********The End********

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Mike@diaryofazulugirl.co.za

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading my letter.

I have been dating my boyfriend for three years now. It’s been a bumpy ride from day one as we are one of those fighting couple. We fight about everything just to get to a conclusion which usually we both agree on. It’s like we fight for the sake of fighting. We get along pretty well when we don’t have to make decisions and I love him. He loves me too because two weeks ago he went down on his knee and proposed. The man I fight with almost every two days asked me to marry him. I said yes immediately. After I said yes I thought this through and much as I love our passionate romance I don’t think I have the energy for all the fighting if we are married. Its one thing for me to storm out to go to my place since we are only engaged but certainly another to be stuck in the house with him if we marry. What do I do to stop the fighting which might also risk ask losing the thing that makes us who we are?

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23 thoughts on “Y.E.S 56”

I don’t know if this might be helpful since I’m not @ the urge of getting married soon however, my guy and i have been together for 4 years now, we are no different from u two except that we accepted that we are opposite and instead of fighting over something we try to communicate about everything and anything nd vowed to b open to each other because I like this, he likes that, I see things this way he sees things that way; which is why we needed up fighting like people that would end up killing each other or something. But since we took the step to be more open and to communicate about everything we are now better than we were 3 years ago. decisions are now taken with the both of us accepting our differences and respecting one another not for one to do something their uncomfortable with but also be open minded to try something the other likes or wants…So I suggest u do that with ur man nd all the best with everything!

***Also try reading ur star sign and his…Nd share with him what you’ve come across. I knew we were different but I actually never noticed that we were just opposite until I read those. God Bless you guys!

Thanks Mikeesto. The calling part of this story is really starting to intrigue, we need more focus on that Mikeesto 🙂

I think B* has wrapped this up accordingly, just a side note though, if you are happy in this relationship with all the fighting that goes on then perhaps ya’ll were meant to be together coz ni-right ni-wrongo ninjalo. All that matters is the happiness and if ya’ll screaming at each other gives you the kicks then so be it. Just dont let it get physical ke, at some point you will probably get tired of it and grow up… Or you can end up like that mkhulu and gogo from next door that constantly fights on Friday/Saturday only to hold hands like teenagers and go to church on Sunday, REAL GENUINE GHETTO LOVE.

Every couple fights its a fact but for the relaionship to work its really up to you as a woman , i hardly listen to elders on relationship metters coz well they always insist on being submisive and letting a man be a man nd in the world we live thats just a no no , we want equal respect in relationships we fight for 50/50. Thats us, i have been experiencing the same problem with my boyfriend of 3 years also and i asked my gran how she survived more than 30 of marriage when i want to stranggle my bf of 3 years guess what she said , “all man are stupid my child , You just have to know how to handle your monkey ” lol i laughed and asked her what she ment nd she said , change… Try to be more understanding , if u see a fight brewing just keep quiet even when hes wrong, dont criticise him, forgive him for every stupid thing he does, see him as your child nd not your mate , be romantic nd always pray for u two.
I was like hell naw but something in me said just try it and girl i dont remember our last huge fight , we argue less and talk more he has changed so much sometimes i think im in a relationship with an ailien. I wont lie and say its easy, its not its hard but if you love him that much it wont hurt to try.

Xena baby you never mentioned if you two ninjas have a child a not anyway ask yourself this Is your relationship healthy for a child to be in?If you answered no then leave 3years its a long time to be fighting everyday.I’m 28 till to this day i have never seen my parents agree on anything and that is not something i would wish on anyone. Nna ngwana batho a guy who argues with me 24/7 kea motshaba i even go as far as questioning his sexuality coz monna wa ho rata strike ke mosadi le yena.

I am currently engaged to my boyfriend of three year, we used to fight like cats and dogs but through all the fighting I have always known that he is the man I want to share my forever with. Through all the fights the love has always been there and how I feel about him remained constant!

The fights have died down a bit because I now chose my battles, I know we are different and most of the times I just let him be the man and let be right even though he is wrong but when things have toned down I tell him where he was wrong.

All I am saying is if you love your man Mary him and choose your battles wisely, you don’t have to fight about everything. Also look into pressure marital counselling it is working for me!

Today’s chapter hit right to the core of the pink elephant in the corporate world. It’s so sad to this happening to us and fellow black colleagues in the corporate scene. We work hard to obtain the degrees then strive even harder to prove ourselves in the corporate world and when it’s finally time for our effort to manifest into beautiful fruits, the white man comes in and labels it as their own.

95% of the student enrolled in our national universities are black, but when we get to the labour market it’s totally different, 95% of people in higher positions controlling the economy are white and most of them don’t even have the mandatory qualifications.

Our fellow black man doesn’t get promoted to better positions or even considered for higher compensations. We are called upon to train white kids who will later become our managers.

South Africa is far from being the Azania that are comrades and heroes died for, in fact, we still have a long way to go. We need to stand up for what is our, we are not yet Uhuru

You must learn to agree to disagree with your partner. You need to have open end conversation and respect others opinions. Wether you can be on point sometimes or missed the mark, a constructive argument is vital to any relationship. Put aside super egos and learn to compromise with each other. Jackzorro and B*Say big up guys for your fruitful advices.

I guess relationships are just different. I dated a guy for 5 years. 5 long years which were punctuated by fighting and breakups. It gets tiring and to be honest, that’s not how a relation should go. Everytime you fight, you break off a piece of your relationship until it ends up being an empty shell. I personally have no fight left in me, mainly cause of all the times I had to fight to make myself heard. My wake up call came when I had dreamt that I was getting married to the guy and to me, that was the WORST NIGHTMARE I had ever had. We just weren’t meant to be.

Right now I’ve been with an amazing guy for almost 2 years. There is always so much joy and laughter whenever we are together and when we do fight (which doesn’t happens often), we immediately resolve it and move on. He is my Perfect Man. I wouldn’t have found him if I hadn’t moved on and I have ZERO REGRETS.

I keeeeeep asking people how they survive so long in those kinds of relationships.. my ex and i fought every other day.. we fought about NOTHING! 15months was enough shem.. i could not take it any longer because he would pick fights where there were none.. so evaluate your relationship girl.. Does this man still respect you through those fights? is he quick to forgive? can you honestly handle that state of a relationship for as long as you both shall live? is this the relationship you dreamed about when the last guy broke your heart? Love alone will not sustain that relationship, so ask yourself what you are willing to take in terms of “agree to disagree”.. Lord knows I agreed to a lot of nonsense, but at some point it just became toooooo much!

#RealPrivateSector will mess you up. It’s just hard being a #BlackChild.

Xena…… not every successful relationship comes with a smooth sailing. Fighting often does not mean your marriage can’t be fruitful. Also consider the movie ‘Why did I get married- by Tyler Perry’ Gavin and Patricia were known to be the perfect couple but failed to handle the pressure that came with disagreements and challenges. Then Marcus and Angela fought about everything and anything but remained married because their love surpassed the constant fighting.

so it was said “education is the key to breaking the generational curse of desolation that apartheid had discriminately birthed.” but I see that despite the progress made over the past two decades, south Africa still remains a country of white-haves and black-have-nots. this is a problem we need to stare in the face.

The calling part I relate, and the more I read about it on this book …..I must say, thank you Mike for bringing such reality in our lives….. what Lungi is going through in relationship(s) and at work it’s quite sad because that’s what happens mostly when you have ancestral calling.

A practical way to stop white monopoly, is if us blacks stop galivating around n start our own companies, stop working for a same company for 35 years without even thinking of starting ur own company that is similar. I know we blame de government for white monopoly but would it be fair if someone comes to ur home, the house u built n tell u how to run it, I will turn blue before I allow dt. Majority of private companies are owned by whites, so they will forever implement few work policies n bend those policies in order to push their agenda. The more black people start their own companies the more we will balance with whites or else we will have to settle for goverment institutions. N sleep our way up lol. By de way Big up to Mr Mike for his work.

Ta braMike.
Azwi has zero chill. If he was a gentleman, he would have left out the bedroom stuff & tried winning favour. What a pig!
Xena, all relationships are different like fingerprints. Introspection is the answer. In every relationship one has to be the “dominant” character.
If both of U want to always have their say without much consideration of the other’s feelings, then prepare yoself for a long miserable life left to chance of self-correction or take a short left. YOLO
Uphila kayi one sistaz!