Original Reads

Imagine going from one dream job to the next. For most of us, we’re just doing what we can to make money, not living out our childhood dreams. Now put yourself in Tony Romo’s shoes. One day he is an NFL quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, and after being replaced by Dak Prescott, the next is being spent as an NFL commentator.

Good for him! Romo probably could have made it onto a roster, as a backup at minimum. He still had enough left in the tank. I’m not sure how he’ll do as an announcer, but one thing that I do know -- there are some announcers who I just can’t stand.

Here are 9 announcers who need their microphones taken away...

Shannon Sharpe
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I can’t say a lot. Shannon is a big dude, and I feel like he could take this article seriously instead of as satire. But the dude can’t articulate.

Ken “The Hawk” Harrelson

While flipping through channels, you find games in three markets from Rhode Island. You get NESN and can watch the Red Sox. YES Network lets you watch the Yankees. And WGN America allows you to watch the White Sox where you can listen to the not so great Harrelson. His home run calls are a lot of fun to mock. Imagine going through it on a regular basis if you live in Chicago. Aside from cringing with those calls, he is the most biased announcer there is. He calls each player by their first name, and gets way too frustrated with the team. The fandom for the White Sox should be his only passion. Leave the announcing work to the professionals.

Tim Tebow

Tim Tebow will make every negative sports list that I write. Why? Because he was a college football player who absolutely sucked as a professional. His religion made him a media darling regardless though, and we still have to hear about this irrelevant guy every day. He worked as an announcer for the SEC Network before deciding he wanted to play baseball. Can we just get this guy out of our lives please? Tim, you’re the most popular minor leaguer and you suck. I don’t want to see you anymore. It’s not your fault, you seem nice. But the undeserved spotlight makes me not really like you.

Laurie Piatkowski (990wbob.com)

Laurie is our Tuesday night producer. There was one week where during a commercial break, Laurie was talking passionately about the topic we had discussed with a guest on The WildSide. The caller was still on the line, so we had Laurie ask her question. It took her half the segment to find the words. I think the rambling made it so the episode didn’t go under our Past-Casts, so I cannot add a link. Laurie, if you read this, you do a great job producing. But I think that’s the last time Pal will leave your microphone plugged in. Sorry!

Christopher Russo

He doesn’t announce games, and that’s for good reason, Christopher Russo is the most annoying guy on television. The MLB Network show host might know his stuff. I wouldn’t know, I hear his introduction and am immediately annoyed to the point where I turn the TV off. I know from talking to people, everyone feels the same way. How does he still have his own show?

Joe Buck

I don’t know what it is. EVERYONE hates Joe Buck. With a passion. He’s really not the worst announcer when you give him a chance. He does have bias though, and did he only get the job because of his dad? I’m not sure, but if Fox wants more viewers, it’s probably in their best interest to get the most hated man in sports off of their network.

​Jerry Remy

I grew up on Red Sox baseball. Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy were essentially in my house. They were great. One of them still is, the other is well past his prime. I was watching a game during the Pirates series, and the color commentator couldn’t keep a conversation flowing. Dave O’Brien would say something, expecting Remy to respond. With something. Anything. But there was dead air on a regular basis. When he did speak, what he said was irrelevant. It’s time to send the Rem-dawg in the dawg house.

Stephen A. Smith
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If there was one person who’s opinion mattered the least to me, in all of professional sports, I’d have to sit down and think. Not about who it would be, the choice is clear, but rather justifying ever turning ESPN on again. Stephen A. Smith is the worst. He ar-tic-u-lation just bothers me, maybe it’s the Brooklyn in him everytime he talks about LeBrawn. Then this basketball analyst one day decides he’ll talk about football, and isn’t too great at that either. His microphone, his chair, his voice need to be taken away

Dick Vitale

“How can’t you like Dick Vitale?” As I’m writing this in the URI library, a friend asked me this. The real question is how CAN you like Dick Vitale? The Dukies baby! With his raspy voice, he needs to calm down. Duke didn’t win, they don’t win every year. The reason that Duke is the school to hate is because of the hype around them each and every season. Don’t hate Duke. Hate Dick Vitale.