Why Do Some Korean Women Hide Dating A Black Man?

I was asked to do a summary of this topic because of a situation where a Korean woman was looked down on for marrying a Black man. A nasty comment was even made about her child. Sadly, this has proven to have been quite common for a number of years. A number of the stories that I’ve heard I don’t even feel comfortable repeating on this blog. But it is a common question of why some Korean women, who prefer to marry a Black man, tend to hide this from other people? Here is a few of the reasons why that may be.

Black Isn’t Beautiful

You may hear the term that Black is Beautiful, meaning that dark skin is a beautiful thing. But that is not how many in South Korea feel. Korea is known for their beauty products, with some of them being known to lighten one’s skin. But why do people spend a ton of money on these products? And why do many outside of the Republic of Korea feel that there is such an obsession with having lighter skin there? It’s because many believe that lighter skin is a sign of wealth and beauty. Richer people stayed indoors all day, so they did not get much sun and had lighter skin. However poorer people had to work outside everyday just to eat and survive. That is why to some, light skin is the right skin.

Pressure From Society

Korea is considered to be a homogenize society. That means that most people are the same. In South Korea, it is estimated that 95-97% of the population are Koreans. (People who have a Korean mother and father.) Some that I’ve talked to have admitted that they are open to marrying anyone who is willing to marry them. However, they feel pressure from society to marry a fellow Korean. They have also seen how people who marry non Koreans are discriminated against. Television hasn’t helped as marriages between a Korean and a non Korean are often exaggerated to make their lives look more difficult than they really are. To some, the pressure from society to have a “perfect” Korean marriage is too great for them to accept love from a non Korean.

Pressure From Family

In Korea, the opinions of others are important. But the opinion of family, especially that of one’s parents are extremely important. For some women, they have been told by their parents to think about them when choosing to get married. For instance, what would the community think if they had a Black son in law? Or how would Korean society accept them having a grandchild that was not “pure”? (People take pride in being a pure Korean. But some estimates say that less than 25% of all people in South Korea are really pure Koreans. It is felt by some Koreans that those who say they are pure Koreans are lying unless they can prove it, which would be difficult for many to do.) For many parents, the images of Black men that they see are in rap videos and movies that portray Black men in a negative light. When this is all a person knows, it can be scary and cause them to forbid their daughters from dating Black men. Also, stories of daughters being disowned are for marrying a Black man are very true, leading to more fear of what will happen if a woman does fall in love with a Black man.

It should be noted that times change and so do people. Some who were once prejudice against Black men have changed their minds. And families that feared what others would think about having a Blasian grandchild rejoice over their beautiful bundle of joy. At the end of the day, Korean parents are like any other parents. They just want their daughter to be loved and for their grandchildren to grow up happy. As parents change, so does society. The feeling that only a hooker would want to marry a Black man has subsided towards one that is more accepting of these relationships. But there are still some who look down on the union of a Korean woman and a Black man, and seek to make it difficult for them to be together. Sadly, as long as these people exist and seek to force their views on others, there will always be Korean women who hid their Black boyfriend or husband from others.