Teenage Nerdfighters Unite (Our Pants edition)

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I feel we were made to add joy to that hurt. To show people that life may not be the best, but it's not the worst. To show that without darkness there would be no light, but there can be light in the world.- My Friend

I hadn’t met them before , we had just talked online for two weeks. We’re most certainly not in a relationship, it’s actually a running joke of mine to make sure she hasn’t decided we are. We both agree, no strings attached fun is better. It’s my personal stance to not be in a relationship until I’m friends with them for a while first, but FWB is fine.

@Rancron you seem to have seen everything I said, perhaps it put the words elsewhere for you, if you didn’t, it’s mentioned in this post enough that you miss nothing.

I think it’s partly the forum setup, but also, the people on here in general have an abysmal interaction tendency with it. So anything that does get posted gets largely ignored.

It wasn’t super awkward because we met online, that basically had no effect. It was awkward because it was so cold we were shivering the entire time with old people apartments overlooking the tiny ass park (>30 second walk end to end) next to a main road. Try groping someone like that, guaranteed a bit weird. Also, we were both nervous as hell to start, but I certainly hid it better. Funny, considering it was my first, not hers.

@ohalltheplaces my biggest relationship to date was an online relationship. I don’t find it hard to talk about at all, as after comparing it to everyone else’s irl relationships, it went a hell of a lot better and longer. It was nearly three years. Remember my signature changes? the break up is what that was. When looking at my friend’s relationships, I don’t see any of the same love that I shared with her. We made each other truly happy and satisfied. We didn’t have constant petty fights, the most serious of arguments lasted no more than 3 days. There weren’t any misunderstandings because we talked about everything. Clearly, frequently, honestly, talked. Best of all we’re still good friends afterwards.

Any “internet stigma” will only be reduced by talking about it more, so don’t be shy. Have relationships you can be proud of, on or offline.

December 2017 by the_one_on_the_left

Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.

I think it is quite interesting we studied him in 6th grade and write an essay on if he was still the same person and if he was even human (in the way you feel happiness and sadness) after the accident

I feel we were made to add joy to that hurt. To show people that life may not be the best, but it's not the worst. To show that without darkness there would be no light, but there can be light in the world.- My Friend

@Yodaboyaz I never heard of Phineas Gage until about five minutes ago and I just googled him and it seems so strange. I wonder what he thought after the accident. also does anyone else watch kurzgesagt on youtube? I just got their calendar a few days ago and if I was ever to find someone else who watches them it would probably be on here. I love their space videos.

"the purpose of life is to discover your gift, and the meaning of life is to give your gift away."

I think the anomaly would be if someone on here didn’t watch them. if you’re reading this and you don’t, go YouTube, come back with a new subscription.Phineas gage is fascinating, certainly makes you think about a lot of things.

December 2017 by the_one_on_the_left

Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.

I think the not talking a lot about sex thing might be partly due to Nerdfighteria consisting of mostly nerds of some sort. I don't have any proof for the following, but generally, nerds seem to, on average, have their first time later than non-nerdy people. I've actually never even held hands with anyone, much less kissed or anything that goes beyond it. And I know quite a few people my age who also haven't. So maybe it's just not that relevant to a lot of the people here...

@AnFa that’s a reasonable hypothesis in my opinion. I fell into that category up until that day. On one hand, I get nearly no contact socially irl (and that’s fine by me) but on the other hand I’m ridiculously sex focused. I think the two kind of cancelled each other out here. It was relatively late on the whole (freshly 18) but, it was extraordinarily early into meeting. Despite not having done anything irl, I still found it all relevant to me, but I’m also the rare exception it seems. In my experience I tend to find the nerdier girls are less sexually active indeed. Cuts me to my soul lol. Makes it so much harder to find people I like to talk to, who can also handle my sexuality without irritation.

Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.

@ohalltheplaces If no admins are around, then we can still get the spam hidden by flagging them, if I remember it correctly. When a post has gotten three flags, I think it gets hidden. (But my, they are many!)

@AnFa Yeah I think that is mostly true. I mean I am almost 18 and I have never even had a boyfriend. I guess unless you end up in nerd-like early most of us are pretty late. @the_one_on_the_left I am not sure if your hypothesis is true, and maybe the "nerdier" girls are less sexually active because 1. they are not that socially active 2. there is not that many "nerdier" boys and they don't like eff- boys. I am speaking entirely out of personal experience though so whatever. @Yodaboyaz well I have never heard of Phineas Gage, but now I must go dedicate the next week in pouring over his Wikipedia and considering humanity.

"Urge and urge and urge,Always the procreant urge of the world" - Walt Whitman

@AnFaIt has always been interesting to me that 18, the legal age of consent in many places (in the U.S.), is considered "late". To add to the data points, I am nearing 17 and have never had any relationship (besides friendship) with someone of the opposite sex.@Phineas GageIt is odd to me. I was the kid who would be constantly reading National Geographic random facts books. The story of Phineas Gage has just been a part of my knowledgebase, so I frequently reference it. It is always odd to me to come across someone who does not have that story engrained in their minds. I started to really think about this when one of my teachers recommended a song to me about David Grundman, a guy who decided to go out to the Arizona desert (represent!) And take potshots at saguaros. He shot one and it fell on top of him and killed him. It seemed to me like a very Phineas Gage-esque story.

@Yodaboyaz Many people like to call it “late” without bothering to mention close in age (state) laws which often provide several years leniency underage. That being said, I do also find it a rather late, as the average age for someone to lose their virginity is ~17 in the US I believe. It seems a little weird that you can drive so much before you can legally have sex.As for Phineas Gage, had no idea what his name was and had to look it up, even though I was full aware of his story.

@ohalltheplaces I’m not entirely sure what “my hypothesis” is to you, I assume it’s ‘nerdy girls being less sexually active’ (the thing you seemingly just agreed with anfa on???)If so, them being less sexually active as a symptom of being less socially active doesn’t change that they’re less sexually active, although I agree it is important to note. As a nerd (I exist on here) and non-effboy (see 3 year relationship), that’s not skewing my results and not relevant to my hypothesis.So as far as I see it, in my personal experience, seems like a fair conclusion. Perhaps you have a lot of sexual nerdy girls in your life, but I don’t find that to be the case in my life.Really I’m just very confused between your disagreement with me but agreement with anfa, doesn’t seem to be much discrepancy between our positions.Perhaps the biggest difference is In my post I mean sexually active as in how sexual they are as a person, whereas anfa means it as they don’t get laid as fast, irrelevant to amount of sexuality. However, I don’t see any huge conflicts to disagree with in this when applied to my scenario.

@Gara_the_engineer so if I get two friends I can temporarily troll the forum until shut down by mods? Cheeky.

December 2017 by the_one_on_the_left

Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.

@Yodaboyaz the legal age of consent in the U.S.A is late compared to a lot of countries (in Australia its 16). I don't think that this law would make much of an impact though, because sex is a private thing and can't really be monitored and regulated efficiently. However, from what I've gathered from YA books, Americans tend to have underage sex more than Australians. This is similar to what happens with underage drinking; Australians can legally drink alcohol when they're 18, and the majority of teens don't drink alcohol before that age. In comparison Americans can't drink before they're 21 but still tend to drink far before this limit. Maybe I'm wrong, but it might have something to do with reverse phycology? I'm not really sure.And yeah, nerds definitely seem to have less romantic and sexual interactions. It's probably because they aren't as social, but also maybe to do with their expectations? I know that as a female, presumably heterosexual nerd that I would rather date someone intelligent as supposed to 'hot'. And a lot of people hide their intelligence and focus on their appearance in an effort to fit in (I know I'm definitely guilty of this).

"the purpose of life is to discover your gift, and the meaning of life is to give your gift away."

I find it ridiculous when eople dismiss your opinion on a matter as irrelevant simply because they disagree with it, yet hide under the guise of “different knowledge bases” or some such.

The specific scenario that brought this on was a friend having difficulty with someone talking PIZZZAA about them. My solution: ignore them, move on with life, trolls need to be fed to exist. Their solution: im going to taunt them in public and mock them.My consequences: likely they just fade into irrelevance, at worst, the police can make it so they can’t harass you.Their consequences: likely they get humiliated and come back with vicious vengeance, now the situation is worse and you gained petty satisfaction.

Their reaction to my suggestion “you have book smarts, I have street smarts”

For the record, what’re your opinions on the two options?

December 2017 by the_one_on_the_left

Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.

@the_one_on_the_left Yeah, if I've understood it correctly. I don't remember where I read that that's how the spam button functions, so I might be wrong. But I hope that we are too awesome to abuse the system.

@the_one_on_the_leftI realize that many states after leniency or legality to minors engaging in sexual activities, my home state included. I don't know if it is just my school, but I know of only two instances of students having sexual relations, so to me, that seems a bit foreign. As to your driving point, I'm unsure of my position on that.@tuttiI do see how, to high school students, not being allowed to do something (alcohol or sex) is a good enough reason to do it. That may just be due to the culture of American high schools.@ohalltheplacesLike I just said to tutti, many American high schools seem to have a culture of defying authority. They do this by having sex, drinking alcohol, or doing dumb teenage things. Nerds, from my experience, tend to think things through instead of blindly diving into doing something dumb. That could have an effect on the number of sexual or romantic relationships they have.

@Gara_the_engineer my rant was about the irritation of having a point dismissed because someone doesn’t agree with you, but they try and hide behind poor logic (book vs street smarts) as an excuse to not deal with anything you say.

In this case, I had a differing opinion on how to deal with someone, and they dismissed it with “book smarts” instead of logic. I wanted an opinion on both the situation, and also the truthiness of the rant

December 2017 by the_one_on_the_left

Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.

@the_one_on_the_left I hate it when people do that, especially when they do it in a condescending way. As a teenage girl with opinions that can be verydifferent to that of my relatives I experience this a lot. Often older people who are supposed to be role models will speak to me about things that I am very well informed about, and when I explain to them using pure facts that what they are saying is wrong, they will say that I'm 'just a young girl' or that I'll 'understand when I'm older'. Ugh. I strongly believe that knowledge is acquired by seeking it, but many people are under the impression that it is acquired by existing on this planet for longer, which is obviously not always true (as shown by many ignorant people e.g. trump). Many humans tend to close their mind as much as possible if it means they can preserve their opinions. Especially when those opinions give them power without ever having to work for it.

"the purpose of life is to discover your gift, and the meaning of life is to give your gift away."

Mine implies I’m a terribly dangerous and possibly mentally disturbed person. I most recently looked up several variations on both how to choke somebody into unconsciousness, and also how to hurt and torture someone without leaving any permanent marks. The real reason I want to know such things is purely for my newfound sex life (we’re kinky, what can I say.)

December 2017 by the_one_on_the_left

Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.

@the_one_on_the_left wow, that was unexpected. I guess it's good that you are both into the same thing...?I google basically everything so there isn't really much of a theme, but I guess my search history would imply that I am kinda paranoid. My most recent search is "how to tell firework sounds apart from gunshots" (turns out they were fireworks and I was hiding behind the end of my bed for nothing). You could probably say that I get scared easily.

"the purpose of life is to discover your gift, and the meaning of life is to give your gift away."

By the way, in Germany, you are legally allowed to buy and consume beer and wine and stuff like that when you are 16. You are also allowed to drink moderate amounts of that at 14, if your parents are present and allow it. To buy and consume the really hard stuff, like vodka, you have to be 18. A lot of people test their limits when they are 16, maybe get really drunk once or a few times and then realize that it's not that great to vomit and have a hangover, so by the time they are 18, they normally got past the stage of mindlessly drinking because it is cool. I mean, I'm in university and I don't know anyone my age who really excessively drinks alcohol. I've not heard of that happening at any of the parties here. Most people drink socially, in rather sensible amounts.

That said, the german age of consent is 14, and I think the average age of having sex the first time is about 15-16.

@AnFa I suppose how “sexual” someone is is a combination of factors, I generally consider it a mixture of how much they talk about sex, how willing they are to talk about it when engaged, how much they do anything sexual, and whatever else can be linked.

As far as drinking goes, I personally find alcohol to taste revolting and don’t touch it. Further, I have no incentive to do so. I plan on not drinking much, if at all, in the future. After learning how poorly your body metabolizes alcohol and its tendency to end up as fat calls, I’m rather off-put and don’t see a compelling reason to drink.

December 2017 by the_one_on_the_left

Am I smart? No idea. I believe I’m fairly knowledgeable and logical, a good substitute I hope.

I don't know how accurate my source is, but I read/heard/learned in some manner that the thing where teens illegally consume alcohol would be greatly reduced if the legal drinking age was lowered. Probably for the reasons that @AnFa said: that being hungover actually really sucks. Either way, it seems that this issue isn't an issue in Germany.

Happiness can be found even in the darkest times if one only remembers to turn on the light. -Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

@AnFa those age limits are all really young, but I guess it makes sense if alcohol is a part of your culture. @the_one_on_the_left I don't have any intention of drinking alcohol either. Whenever I tell someone this they usually say that I will change my mind when I'm older but I know I won't. I have seen firsthand the dramatic changes alcohol can have to a person's body, mind, and temper and I don't want it to happen to me. It would probably be hard to resist as an adult though, because it is very much a social thing, and whenever people hang out they seem to always drink (that's just my experience).

"the purpose of life is to discover your gift, and the meaning of life is to give your gift away."