Finishing university soon, don't wanna lose my boyfriend!

I really don't know what to do - I'm finishing university for good in a couple of weeks and I've got an amazing boyfriend who I don't want to lose. We've been together for nearly 9 months and have spent almost every night together aside from us going back to our hometowns during the year (I'm British and he's Italian).

Our plans for after university are totally different - he's been accepted onto a Master's course in London and I ... well, I've been unable to find anything and have no choice but to move back in with my parents until I find a job. We've talked about me moving in with him when he moves down to London but really, I'm not in a position to do so right now. Aside from the money situation (no more student loans!), I've got some medical issues that need dealing with right away (chronic anxiety, depression ... it's so much fun!).

Last night we both got a bit upset as it dawned on us that we may not be able to live with each other as we have done this last 9 months at university. Right now, the only real option is travelling back and forward every weekend but I'm hesitant to have him stay with me in my hometown. My parents know about him, but have no idea he's my boyfriend and I haven't come out to them yet. To make matters worse, I'm not happy about moving back home as my elder brother is still there and we don't get on - he's an alcoholic bully.

Ugh, I'm stuck! On one hand, I'd love to just move on down to London with him and live like we used to, but on the other, I want to sort myself out for good. I've thought about leaving him as the thought of not having him with me every day is too painful to bear.

Gold Member

it's reality, just like leaving home after high school graduation for college and each of you choosing a different school. many of those relationships don't survive freshman year.

difficult as it may be, each of you needs to be certain on what your plans are for the next year. if your plans are divergent, you have your answer. the alternative is figure out how you can get together every two or three weeks, which may be a problem with you living at home.