Paris Hilton denies getting paid $1 million to be a Malaysian playboy's personal Barbie doll. George Clooney's girlfriend is tied to an Italian cocaine scandal. An Inception star talks about gay trysts. Thursday gossip works hard for its money.

As Paris Hilton parties her away across St. Tropez as the topless yacht guest of international party boy of mystery Jho Low, word is she's getting paid $1 million to be there—but her publicist says it's actually much more under-the-table: "They [Paris ahd Jho Low] are friends. Jho has invited Paris and her sister, Nicky, out to St. Tropez as friends. He has not paid her in any way, although he is extremely generous." So is the payment the champagne-spraying experience itself, or does Jho Low make like a Brunei prince, dispensing duffle bags of cash as "gifts"? Whatever he pays for Paris' company, you have admit she's had a pretty good run as St. Tropez Yacht Glamour Barbie. [P6, image via Bauer-Griffin]

Paris' "working" vacation also includes filming a new music video in Ibiza. Apparently she "danced around in the sun in a bright pink swimsuit," which sounds exactly like her last video, in which she drapes her bikini-clad self over the hard body of a male model and whisper-sings, "You show me yours / And I'll show you mine." It's like a window directly into Paris Hilton's soul. [DailyMail]

Lindsay Lohan's jailhouse solace: Twizzlers. Lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley's latest statement to the press mentioned the Twizzlers, then added, "She looks gorgeous... She's writing a lot. She's creating art. She's a beautiful, talented, creative woman, and she's going to come out and surprise you all." Sounds like Holley has switched to a Gloria Allred-ian approach to her legal practice, performing as a de facto publicist on top of her usual legal duties. (Which is odd because Holley only returned to LiLo's employment after the judge ordered her to. So she probably doesn't even want to do this, but it's nice to know she'll do a good job at it anyway.) [People]

Speaking of jailhouse art: Michael Lohan says he wrote a song for Lindsay when he was in jail, and has now had a friend record it. The painfully cringeworthy synth-muzak confection with lyrics like "A father's love will never die / See things through no matter what the reasons why." [TMZ]

Inception star Tom Hardy is bisexual and proud: Asked if he'd ever screwed a man, the hetero-married man replied, "As a boy? Of course I have. I'm an actor for ****'s sake." I hate it when they don't include even the first letter of the expletive, leaving it purely to our imagination. Gotta be "for fuck's sake," right? The sake of fucking being the central concept here. [DailyMail]

New lovers Lance Bass and Lorenzo Martone "aren't serious," apparently because Lance is getting a little obsessive. He showed up in Miami when he knew Lorenzo was there, and Lorenzo's friends think that's weird, but Lance's friends say it was just a coincidence. [P6]

George Clooney's Italian model girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis has been implicated in a cocaine-and-hooker scandal in her home country. Authorities say two nightclubs frequented by celebrities were running a prostitution ring with cocaine deals on the side. A 26-year-old hooker testified in court that she blew lines with Elisabetta in 2008. Radar]

9-year-old budding fashion plate Willow Smith has a stylist who describes her as "young, edgy, and individual." He assures us that Willow is "very" involved in her look: Dressing her is a fully realized, artistically challenging "design process," starting with "creative references" for inspiration and "tak[ing] risks" with accessories like "a 3-finger ring in diamond and gold." Fashion industry professionals, this is the hellish and demeaning future that awaits you: Styling "edgy," diamond-draped 9-year-olds. [Us]

Like Don Draper, Jon Hamm can't be tamed: "I don't have the marriage chip," he said. "I stopped believing in a storybook existence a long time ago." But he also says long-term girlfriend Jen is "the love of my life": "We've already been together four times longer than my parents were married." Apparently Hamm pater was Jon's Draper inspiration. [Parade]

14-year-old Kendall Jenner, little sister of the Kardashians, responds to critics who say she's too young to be posing in a bikini: She is "excited to be working as a model" and though her father was "a bit concerned at first, he knows that I am responsible." Kendall says she doesn't want to be "provocative" and is "happy with my age" and not in a rush to grow up. Like hotness, PR-savvy is apparently genetic. [People]

Will this plague of Mel Gibson phone rants never end? The latest is a series of thirty calls made over the course of 24 hours. In one call, he drops the f-bomb 23 times. Amazing how, the first time you hear a guy threaten to kill his wife, it's shocking, but by the umpteenth tie you sort of glaze over. This phenomenon will henceforth be known as the Mel Gibson Effect: The effect by which heinous acts become utterly banal when repeating too frequently, on too many gossip websites. [Radar]

Rachel Uchitel ran away from Celebrity Rehab, screaming "I quit!" and fleeing to a luxury hotel. Apparently her "breaking point" was a therapy session about her father, who overdosed on cocaine when she was fifteen. [DailyMail, TMZ]

Chris Klein has decided to extend his stay in rehab. The stay was prompted by his second DUI arrest. [People]

Levi Johnston's ex-girfriend Lanesia Garcia is pregnant with his baby, the National Enquirer claims. Did he not learn his lesson the first time around? Put a condom on it, kid. [NatEnq]