Tag Archives: angels

I saw a brilliant flash of blue light today out of nowhere. Kind of like this but with the brighter more cobalt blue and a bigger radius.

I was in the office, my computer monitor wasn’t turned on yet and there was just ambient overhead lighting. So it wasn’t, you know, residual vision from looking at something else. Apparently, it might have been an “angel light” (Check out this link).

That’s the way Spirit usually works with me. It shows me something either in my mind’s eye or even in real life. I usually don’t know what it means and try to figure it out and then the answer appears. Kind of like a scavenger hunt which I like since I’m into researching and all that. So I just want to say that Spirit usually sends messages in a form/way that you would most likely receive and understand them.

A few moments later, I realize what this was. I sent a message to my “no-contact” twin yesterday telling him that I loved him after all this time. The whole time since then, I have been asking my guides for signs or confirmation that I did the right thing. And now this! But I’ve been asking myself, why Archangel Michael? And then I remembered that I do the AA Michael Attunement regularly where he puts his seal on the throat chakra — the center of communication. I actually got my answer!

Earlier in the day, I watched a movie alone and got to wondering if I’m going to be watching movies alone, sans my twin, for the rest of my life. Questions like “is this going to be just in 5D?” were running through my head, not in a depressing way but more like, okay, if 5Ds all it’s going to be, then half-glass full thinking still, 5D is great anyway. And I resolved to “talk” with my twin in 5D as soon as I got home.

Anyway, after regaling my angel lights experience to my TF groups, I went on to meditate, as planned. It was different. My twin was telling me to basically shut up and just listen. So I did. He told me he loved me and then asked me if I would allow him to love me. Then I felt like I was drowning. I felt weak and woozy and actually had to lay down from lotus position because I felt I couldn’t breathe. My heart chakra was doing its work and I felt a bit of sharpness there. And that’s when I realized that for the first half of this journey, I was actually the runner and that I still had issues being the recipient of love — control issues. Giving love wasn’t an issue with me. I ultimately had control over whether or not to give it, but I do have an issue with other people giving me love/stuff/money because I get anxious about what they’ll want back for it and if I’ll be able to give it. That’s why my twin was posing this question to me.

And because I rarely shut up even when told to, I still kept asking if this was all going to be just in 5D, yadayadayada.

When I got out of meditation, I check my phone and the first post I see is this:

Paperclip? What the heck, right? What message could there be in a paperclip laying on the ground?

But it was a message for me. And the other twin flame who posted it was the medium/messenger. It was because of a paperclip that I had an epiphany that my twin loved me. I was very playful then and I was ready to dismiss him as just one of those men in my “harem”. That is, until the “paperclip incident”. I think I’ve written about it before, so I won’t repeat that story.

Point is, my twin was sending me a message. He loves me. I’d better get used to it. The issues that resurfaced during meditation though gives me pause. That drowning feeling. I know I love him, but will I let him love me?

I got a reading today. Although my situation is a whole lot rocky especially on the domestic front, the cards (and my reader’s guides) are advising me to hold on because the storm will pass and the sun will come out soon.

Some highlights of my reading:

My now ex-friend JJ’s business and love life will reach Tower status if she doesn’t make things right with me.

Apparently, she thinks that I’m causing the havoc in her life right now and is distancing herself from me. It’s the wrong way round. The reason that nothing seems to come to fruition with her is because despite helping her out and showing her kindness and generosity of spirit, she didn’t treat me well. Well, that’s actually a euphemism. Betrayed would be the proper word. Then again, I forgave her (three times now, by my count) and yet, she didn’t make good on those second chances.

Oddly enough, she’s one of the few people who know my divine aspect as dispenser of divine justice. So that’s disappointing. Neither my reader (who also knows her) nor I can give her a heads up too because this is a test that she has to figure out and pass by herself, not because she was coached. I’ll be sad to lose a friend. But again, I’m not a doormat. If she doesn’t make amends, the trend will continue, and she’ll have no one to blame but herself and her foolish pride.

Better to stay under the radar for now where my parents are concerned.

I asked if I could just give them money next month, but the advise was to give some now otherwise, they’ll throw a shit storm by August when other things in my life are going well for me.

When I asked whether or not it was safe to surface, the cards said not yet. It would be better if I didn’t talk to them first until I got myself properly situated with M. That’s assuming, of course, that M would come in time, and I hope he does because too long of a hold out would just make me seem like a universal asshole.

My relationship with my dad will never be repaired. My mom will continue to be user-friendly. They will keep asking for money and emotionally blackmail me into giving it.

The Secret Wedding

So the advice was that when M and I get our act together and decide to get married, that I shouldn’t tell them because they will attempt to sabotage it. I can only tell them when it’s a done deal. I’ll have to explain to M my circumstances and he will understand and will want to take me away from my own private hell here.

I can’t introduce him to my family either because it will sour our beginning. Not even my sisters. My friends, yes, but not my immediate family because all of them have their own malevolent and resentful agenda against me. The advise was to give us time to get used to each other and get settled down, before we let in the barbarian horde into our lives.

I’m going to be moving out first before the wedding so I don’t know how to keep that under wraps. In any case, I don’t think it will be a problem once I announce it, especially if I preface it with the fact that they’ve been telling me to get my own place since they will be selling the house soon, and that here I am, finally complying with their dearest hearts’ wishes.

Kind of a very different scenario from my resort destination wedding that was prophesied at first, but I have to roll with the punches. The “storm” I’m going through was foretold by my other reader in my birthday reading when she said that I’d have to face some challenges when I turn 40. Yeah, this is probably it.

They’ll all be sorry.

I don’t say that in a vengeful sort of way, but I mean, they’ll literally say sorry and try to make amends to me. M will be sorry that he’s strayed the path and delayed so many times, given in to temptation and all that, but from the time he arrives, he will make up for it. That’s also the reason why he hasn’t spoken to me — he’s downing the cocktail of shame with a shot of remorse.

My dad will be sorry and will try to make amends, but only because he wants money, and to that, I say fuck him. My mom will be sorry and try to be congenial but only because of money too. The advise was to give them what they ask just so they get off my back for a while.

The Sun is Coming

Actually, my first and determining spread was really good. I got the Sun card for the final outcome. Right now though, I feel pained and desolate because, until it happens, I really don’t know for sure if I’m looking forward to something, but the cards say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Even when I read my own cards, that’s what it says.

So right now, my best option is to keep flying low under the radar, keep my cards close to my chest, and hold out for as long as I can, bending without breaking, like a bamboo in the wind.