Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Congress Searching for its Role

After several years of bowing to the current administration it seems some in congress vaguely remember something about three branches of government. The controversy escalated when Sen. Russell Feingold, D-Wis., said, “The Constitution makes Congress a coequal branch of government. It’s time we start acting like it.” "You could hear a pin drop," one anonymous Senator stated. "It was as if someone had awakened a deep memory, like trying to remember what happened after Kennedy's last stock the bar party. There were a lot of painful expressions, some embarrassed some desperately trying to keep the truth suppressed in their subconscious." It only got worse when Democratic Sen. Barbara Boxer of California stated, “Read the Constitution, the Congress has the power to declare war. And on multiple occasions, we used our power to end conflicts.”

It's unclear where this debate may finally rest, a committee has been formed to look into what an unnamed Republican member called "a complete waste of time and resources, we're in a war against people who hate freedom." The committee’s first goal is to form a panel of the most respected and feared middle school civics and social studies teachers to shed some light on what are checks, balances, distribution of power and the general workings of government. The committee chair said they will institute a policy of, "no congressman or woman left behind; there will be a standardized scantron test after the panel discussions. Only those who pass will be able to vote on recommendations the panel puts forward."

Since it was Cheney's birthday the Parrot was scheduled to meet him for some scotch and figured he'd ask the Senate leader a few questions about the unruly session.

P: What do you make of this latest move by congress?

C: I take my birthday off to have some scotch and get loaded. What does Congress do? Dig up this ancient document and a form a committee to explore it. Look, when the constitution was written our founding fathers couldn't anticipate we'd be in a war with people who hate freedom. The document was written to address freedom so by definition it can't help when dealing with people who hate freedom. This committee is an embarrassment and waste of time that will certainly embolden our enemies. Let's not discuss this on my birthday, I don't want to get my pressure up. Let's go over to that new club called the Final Drill, I heard they have an oil shower dance there that I'm dying to see.

With that the Parrot accompanied Cheney to the Final Drill, but only for the scotch of course.

1 comment:

We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are worthy of office, except for Vice President Cheney who lacks the skill of human interaction. As the Mohave is dry, so is his personality. It is conceivable to believe that George "Dub-ya" Bush would have had an easier go of it had he possessed the vision to select a right hand man or woman who had the aptitude to speak without causing the public to involuntarily loose their scotch. Cheney lacks charisma, facial expression, ideas for the country, a ventricle, and a hunter's education license. As George's career comes to a conclusion and becomes an advisor to the next link in the chain of the current American monarchy system, let this advice roll off his tongue...If you are less than an intellectual giant, surround yourself with those that can positively affect your career. I do understand “blank man” was a successful business man, but his closed door policy didn’t work as well in a more public forum. My sympathies to the DC Parrot for having to listen to such a zombie, no wonder you prefer scotchy-scotch over memory of conversation.P.S. Beware the Barn-Burning Cow, the animal who tears down the establishment and provides the beef.

Welcome

"The Drunken Crazy Parrot" is a blog that uses the parrot's inside knowledge of Washington to give insight the main stream media won't. We take the issue of the day, report what the parrot says, then encourage further research. You decide if it's the parrot or the scotch talking.