In life there are a few things that matter to people more than they matter to others. Some can’t live without their family and friends. Others not without their pets. Personally, I think it is always important to choose for yourself what it is that one can’t live without – whether it seems to be either too emotional or too materialistic to others. In fact, others do not matter at all when it comes to finding the one thing that makes you who you are; a happy, confident, sparkling personality. Someone who fights to achieve a certain goal – someone who won’t back down to get whatever one has set in mind – someone who, when he/she falls down or struggles gets back up again to fight.

These things that matter are a catalyst for motivation. They give you something fundamental. Spirit. Passion. Desire. Fire.

When it comes to myself, my very own catalyst I have to say it isn’t just, as many of you would expect, my love for fashion. It is leaving my past behind. It’s a dream. Isn’t that really what keeps us working and getting up every morning – the dream of who we want to be? Shouldn’t who we are now always mirror who we want to be in the future?
At least that is one of the mottos I try to live and express every day. I am now (or, at least try to be) in some parts exactly where and how I see myself in a couple of years – on a personal level. But of course, I never want to stop to grow and learn and develop myself and give myself the chance to modify my innermost as well as my style in every possible way.

I want people to see fire in my eyes when I talk about my goals and dreams! I want to them to see my determination, my fire. This boy is on fire! And this fire will not just burn – it will inflame anyone and anything close to it!

Though this lack of sleep and rest is in my life right now I feel so full of energy! I want it all – I want to burst in flames. I want to work, I want to do everything that is in me to achieve every single piece of a dream I hold in mind since I can think and create dreams and hopes and wishes.

Autumn is slowly coming and gently asking us to enter our hearts and closets and homes. Though being gentle in announcing oneself it rather intrudes us in a way we actually don’t want it to for we crave summer, sun and heat. But still, autumn is coming and so I think, ‘Embrace change. Embrace the chance to get yourself all dressed up in a new wardrobe, a new mood, a new interpretation of who you are. AND, embrace the wake up call to finally get your apartment done and ready for a colder season to follow, winter.’

Elle Decoration UK – October 2012 Cover

So after three phases and a short break I finally arrived in number IV: One Step Closer to Reflecting Myself

To me, a home is where the heart is! Ergo: where my heart is there am I. Further ergo: Where I am there should be the real me; my own reflection; my own interpretation of who I am and who I want to be. Not just to myself but to anybody who comes into my private walls as a guest. Therefore, my personal space should be an addition to what I represent. When I enter the room I should feel as if it underlines my personality rather than projecting something that isn’t there, or presenting myself in a light that doesn’t fit the part. It would feel like someone trying to fit into an Alexander McQueen Couture gown though one knows one is completely Atelier Versace; meaning less feathers more sparkle. (Don’t get me wrong here: Alexander McQueen IS a part of my religious belief. Trust me, I worship him and now Sarah Burton for what they’ve created!)

Alexander McQueen Spring/Summer 2013

Alexander McQueen Spring/Summer 2013 Detail

Decorating and furnishing come together to be a process – a long lasting one. Not just a rush of emotions and motions that overwhelm your senses to tell you to simply get it done as soon as you can to get it over with. NO, if you want your apartment to reflect your innermost, your character, your ambitions, your motivations, your style, your fashion, your love and your passion for life; it takes some time to evolve.

That is what I did – I gave myself time to evolve within my new environment. For three months I have my own place now and it feels more like a home to me than anything has ever done. Every single day it comes closer to where I can say my heart is… but it isn’t perfect yet. To be honest, I don’t think it can ever be but at least it can be close to what I want it to be – a place where I can relax once I have entered the double doors; a place I can call home; a place where I can be myself without compromising, without having to apologize, without the necessity of defending flaws. Here I am perfect, if I want to be. If I feel like it.

Autumn calls for action – it calls for inspiration! And so I took my best friend ELLE Decoration out for some last walks in the sun trying to get inspired by what is around me; colors, shapes, shades, street signs, maps, people. I felt like a child in a candy store being surrounded by all those fabulous colors, spirits and voices. With a little help of VOGUE and GQ I always feel perfectly safe when it comes to my fashion choices but with my apartment I still feel like I do not have the grip on what is my style yet. At least not completely. BUT, every time I open ELLE Decoration I feel like I have IT, the one thing that makes me visualize fabrics and shapes, color schemes and patterns in a way I have never imagined before. Fashion isn’t just who or what you wear; it is how you live, how you furnish and how you decorate too!

So, for my bedroom I always felt white, completely – a white bed, a white big open closet, a white standing mirror and a white dresser. I always added color with just my clothes, the bedding and my big purple Prada box. But now I feel like those white walls finally need something new – I feel shapes, well, more like pattern. A mathematical pattern of triangles on two walls in an L-shaped constellation to surround my bed and my door while on the opposite wall only the closet with my beautiful clothes sets the tone. This, to me, sounds like a perfect equilibrium of fast moving, ever changing fashion versus unwinding, calming body and mind.

For the bedroom as well as my living room I still have to find the perfect fabrics to decorate the windows but I am sure that these ideas will come up in no matter of time since I find myself to be in a very creative mood and a very inspired place right now. So, stay tuned for more and get yourself a little bit inspired by the last summer days until autumn conquers our hearts, wardrobes and homes.

With tears in my eyes and a heart that was skipping a heavy beat every time a new outfit appeared on the runway, I was watching the Burberry Prorsum fashion show from London Fashion Week today. Let me tell you one thing, apart from the beautifully touching and perfectly fitting music, Christopher Bailey has created a Spring / Summer 2013 collection for Burberry that just blew me away and left me shivering breathlessly and speechlessly.

I just sat there staring at the amazingly drafted clothes and thought to myself, ‘THIS must be what heaven feels like.’

I know, this all might sound a bit overly dramatic but believe me if you’ve been through what I’ve been through and if fashion turned out to be the only thing that can save you from failing you will find yourself in a world where everything all of a sudden seems brighter and more beautiful just because you can dress up and go out; or simply wake up in the morning and jump out of bed because a new outfit is waiting for you; or you can just sit there, staring at your wardrobe putting together outfits for a whole week, losing yourself in the most precious of fabrics, designs, labels.

To this date, nothing made me feel more beautiful, precious and happy than wearing Burberry. It is not about people seeing the label you wear because mostly, they can’t see. It is just about the feeling it gives you to know you’ve bought yourself something that is marvelous in design and quality; reflecting tradition that was found back in 1856 with Thomas Burberry and that still lives on. It gives me the feeling that I can live on forever if I just work hard for all the goals I want to achieve; for all the dreams I have in mind; for all the love for fashion I have inside me – to let it all out and create something uniquely amazing. For myself, and for others.

Bright Metallic Trench Coat

Bright Metallic Trench Coat Detail

Metallic Python Vinyl Capelet

Metallic Python Vinyl Capelet Detail

Metallic Corset Jacket

Metallic Corset Jacket Detail

The collection couldn’t have been more inspiring, more soothing, and more diverse in fabric than it has been. We saw trench coats from metallic lurex mixed with a technical fabric to make it lightweight and comfortable yet perfectly structured. Also an amazingly bright, bold and beautiful capelet in metallic python leather and bright vinyl with a python leather laminated with reflective foil to act as a frame for the tailored transparent vinyl. Corset jackets made from metallic and silk fibres crafted in plissé fabric featuring a bustier bodice and corseted back to give a sculpted silhouette.

Peacock Feathered Trench Coat

Peacock Feathered Trench Coat Detail

Tailored Satin Capelet

Tailored Satin Capelet Detail

Sculptural Dégradé Bubble Coat

Sculptural Dégradé Bubble Coat Detail

What didn’t just make me gasp but let Anna Wintour surprisingly turn her sunglass protected head with amazement (there you see the connection to the headline) was the marvelously beautiful peacock feathered trench coat with iridescent peacock plumage rosettes, crafted using couture techniques. Each of these feathers was placed by hand and afterwards stitched into a geometric floral design. The trench is finished with a collar made of rich satin and heritage-influenced epaulettes, cuff straps and a satin belt.
Absolute highlights have been all those beautifully tailored capelets, especially the ones made from floating satin. The canopy shape shelters the shoulders from the cold and is detailed with a leather latch. The dégradé effect on the blue coat results from a design painted by hand. Printed on silk the hand painted color changes its character to a dramatic twist.

Laser-Cut Leather Caban

Laser-Cut Leather Caban Detail

Last but not least, I found this caban to be worth mentioning for its pure beauty! Crafted from rich leather in a unique lace design it is laminated with a thin layer of metallic foil while the leather is laser cut then washed to soften the metallic sheen.

If this collection doesn’t take away all the doubts of fashion haters that this world is uniquely rich of talent, depth and beauty I can just say screw you! What Christopher Bailey created for the Spring/Summer 2013 season is not just divine but one of the most beautiful Burberry Prorsum Womenswear collection I have ever seen! Kudos, Christopher Bailey!

I know, I am guilty. I am sorry. And I could (maybe even should) apologize a thousand times for not writing quite recently but you must know, my real life was getting the best of me and I found myself in a zone where I had mixed feelings towards the person I was becoming in the last couple of months. I was at a crossroads drifting right into moments of doubt when I finally found myself all shiny and new again believing in myself like I have never before. So I will save you the apology shit and just try to make it up to you.

You know, life gives you moments to decide whether you take the self-pitying road down to nowhere or the doubt-forgetting road up to where you belong – The STARS! I’ve decided for myself to be a star! And so should you.

It is time to stop thinking about doing something but really doing it. Like writing this blog here. Or, more recently I thought about getting an MA degree. I thought about that for over a year and finally I said to myself, ‘fucking do it NOW!’ and so I applied for a Master’s degree in Journalism and New Media and I was invited to the first round of entry exams. I had to wait about two months to get the next invite to the second and third round of entrance examination and you know what? About a month ago I got the news. I am in. I got one of the rare 35 spots. And I had to fight against over 250 others. So, if I can do it – so do you!

My new flat finally feels like a place I can call home. I have all my VOGUE and ELLE and all my books and clothes here. The furniture looks exquisite and I just feel great every time I enter my apartment through the double door entrance. Thank GaGa the dream of my own apartment came true.

It was the perfect mixture of all the words I love – Fashion, Music, Magic, Extravaganza, Spectacularity, Divinity and Love. (Okay, the last one is a word I only use in combination with things I love to do and never connected to people. You know my issues about this topic and because of a recent, quite painful event I have decided to keep this box of topics hidden from my life now.)

Let me tell you – Lady GaGa was amazing! I was so close to her that I almost cried because of a sudden rush of happiness to be this close to someone I would consider a) a real natural talent b) a style icon and c) someone the younger generation can look up to for inspiration, strength and love for something one does to get ahead in life! She truly is an inspiration to me. And her music a source of strength. When she played my two most favorite songs ‘Bad Kids’ and ‘Marry the Night’ I just lost it. My Monster claws have constantly been up in the air to support her and I knew she felt the support of all of us. It was simply divine. The best concert of my life and while I might still be talking in a rush of emotions here, I have to say that there have also been quite a few negative things about the organization of yesterday’s event. I just think you need to know both sides, the good and the bad. It is just the honest thing to write down. And you know me – I am all about honesty and straight forwardness. The 250 bucks for my VIP Ticket definitely weren’t worth it. And let me tell you – a lot of people were angry and have been crying. (The GaGa gift was a poster of the tour… could have guessed that. No one communicated that there would be just monster pit and no area for those in possession of a VIP ticket – what the hell where the 250 bucks for? Dinner and drinks? Sorry, but I could have had dinner before the event and bought my drinks at the main bar saving myself about 150 bucks. What a fail by the Organizers! I only got so close to her because I fought my way through all the gays and straights.).

But what was worth it was waiting for Lady GaGa – she just delivered an ecstatic, authentic, perfect show full of music, fashion and love! Thank you for that. It was divine. And she even performed a new song of her Album Project ‘ARTPOP’ – Princess Die.

I just can’t say or write anything because she stands for herself, describes herself and always stays herself. The wonderful, sophisticated, beautiful Céline Dion. My most favorite artist in the world. And the only diva who should be allowed to be called like that because there is no attitude but pure talent, grace and elegance. It seems that since a couple of days I can’t get this one special song out of my head and most importantly out of my heart. This is for you:

Sometimes it doesn’t take a lot of words to transport certain emotions. Sometimes Pictures and Sounds are absolutely enough. Sometimes pictures can express every single emotion and mood of a certain beautiful, unique and special moment.

This is going to be one of these ‘Sometimes’ – times/moments where all that is needed are pictures and some tunes:

If you are one of the few 25 people who got an invitation to this very elitist event you can firstly, congratulate yourself because you are officially declared as being fashionable, cool and absolute IN. (Okay – some of those special 25 aren’t as fashionable, cool and absolute IN as they and I wish they were but hey, I write LOYALTY to my friends in capital letters. Always!)

This Party is going to be more exclusive than the fake waiting list at Hermès for a Birkin Bag. It is like walking into the fucking Hermès store directly up to the stuck up sale’s woman and telling her to get the fucking Birkin from the back. The Alligator one and not the cheap calf leather version. This is how getting an invitation to that Party feels like. AND this Party is strictly A-List! This is ‘a Very BURBERRY Birthday’ and it will be Burberry from front to back and head to toe!

Are you excited? Uh – 6.00 PM. Let the fashionable games begin!

Time to put on your party dress. Time to put on some make up. Time to put on your Manolo Blahnik heels or shiny Burberry shoes and hit the catwalk I call life to get to my party. See you there Bitches!

Love of the Moment.

Since I can remember being able to connect the terms fashion and wedding I was able to only think about one person to personify both terms perfectly, romantically and naturally. Vera Wang. Ever since I had the dream of having my own wedding I imagined myself in a custom made Vera Wang suit and yet, though I know Vera only creates the most immaculate dresses for one of the most spectacular and beautiful day in a woman's life I also know that one very day I will be walking down the aisle in a custom made, white, silk Vera Wang suit looking at the man I am about to marry knowing that this is not just the most wonderful moment of my life but also the most memorable and most fashionable.

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Bridal Couture - Dress: Harper (front)

Vera Wang Spring 2012 Bridal Couture - Dress: Harper (back)

I would have never thought that I could imagine someone at their own wedding NOT dressed up in white but the moment I saw this dress (Harper) in Vera Wang's Spring/Summer 2012 fashion show I just knew it was right. The fabrics, the color, the texture, the shape - the whole look is immaculately perfect!

'This strapless mermaid gown with its trapunto-stitched bustier, the playful back bow and the multi-tiered back bustle with cascading two-toned floral embroidery is just the one dress you want to put on and never give away.' I can imagine my best friend in this dress. Turning around in the mirror know that this is so right. So beautiful. So unique. It is a magnificent equilibrium of playful charm meeting elegance dignity. It is special yet absolutely wearable. It is the dream of a dress!