Lawyer Brings Back Free Divorce Contest For Yet Another Valentine’s Day

If there’s one day that’s even more painful than all the rest when you’re in a bad relationship, it’s Valentine’s Day. Everyone around you is smooching under flowery bowers of love with little birds chirping and singing and you’re arguing under a freeway underpass about who bought toilet paper last and besides, it was the wrong kind of toilet paper and I don’t love you anymore. Here’s where a free divorce might be nice.

“People want to move on,” he says of unfortunate souls stuck in bad situations. “I’m trying to help them have a very happy Valentine’s Day for 2015 by taking care of their past and putting an end to that in 2014.”

The main reason behind this act of goodwill — besides the inevitable publicity bonanza — is that some people just can’t afford to cut their ties.

“I’m hearing stories about people that don’t have the money to get divorced,” he explains, as all contestants have to write up the reasons they deserve the divorce. “Some of them don’t even have the money to move out so they’re living with the person that they can’t stand.”

Oh but why, why spoil the day filled with heart candies and flowers and lovey dovey cuddle bunnies (no I don’t understand Valentine’s Day, yes I’m an old bitter lady)? Why does it have to be this day of all days?

“Because Valentines’ Day is a tough day for people that are in a relationship that they don’t want to be in,” he says. It’s not easy though, as he says he thought he’d heard everything before, but some of the things people said last year, “they were truly heartbreaking.”

For those interested in the Detroit area, all it takes is filling out a simple form on his website.

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