Creature of Darkness (2009) - repeat viewing. Some kids go camping in the woods and get attacked by a cheesy looking alien. Characters weren't bad, for the most part they were developed an likable - except for the horribly unlikable guy, and he certainly gets what's coming to him lol. The action sequences were mostly good for a chuckle. 3/5.

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I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

Mel Brooks' screwball classic about a down on his luck Broadway producer (Zero Mostel) and an accountant (Gene Wilder) who hatch the perfect get rich quick scheme - mount a new, terrible play that is guaranteed to flop on opening night, and take off to Rio with the investors' money. Unfortunately the plan hits a snag when the show becomes an unexpected hit.

Great performances by Wilder, Mostel, Dick Shawn and Kenneth Mars, plus one of the greatest musical numbers ever filmed - "Springtime For Hitler."

WAR WITCH (2012): A 12-year old girl is abducted from her African village by rebels and forced to become a child soldier; when her military commanders decide she has magical powers, she is declared the army's "war witch." A romantic subplot involving an albino magician and his quest for a white rooster briefly lightens this sad fairytale about the very real, very dark phenomenon of child military slavery. 4/5.

FAST, CHEAP AND OUT OF CONTROL (1997): A documentary profiling four unlikely subjects: a lion tamer, a topiary master, a naked mole-rat expert, and a robot designer. Each of these craftsmen is somewhat interesting on their own, but what makes the documentary work is the way unexpected connections start to arise between a quartet with very different obsessions. 3.5/5

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"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

The Monster Squad (1987) - interesting 2nd tier kids movie, more of a tween movie I guess, about kids who are interested in monsters thus they call themselves the Monster Squad, and then face Dracula, Mummy, Wolfman, etc in the hunt for a book / emerald, etc The language is too adult for kids and the tone of the movie is too kiddy for adults but it's pretty decent. If you can get into stuff like "My Boyfriends Back" or something check it out. 3.25/5

Spontaneous Combustion (1990)-Incredibly dull Tobe Hooper movie that I found on youtube. Honestly I don't even want to attempt to recap this nonsense, as it was just so incredibly boring. Sometimes I give Tobe Hooper a chance thinking he can't really by so completely terrible can he? The answer is yes, Tobe Hooper really does suck.

Article after article on Tobe Hooper's apparent genius. Scenes from such opuses as "The Mangler" (ugh!) and "Mortuary" (by leaps and bounds the worst movie I own on blu ray) are taken apart frame by frame and practically worshiped. Comparisons are made between Tobe and Orson Welles and Ingmar Bergman, it really has to be seen to be believed.

So it's a Jack Nicholson one-man-show but that's exactly why the movie works so well. Add the scary creepy stuff and you're in for a good time. Shelley Duvall's often shunned mousy wife performance is actually a personal favorite "mousy wife" performance of mine. She's just an average lady trying to be a good mother and wife. Though she has no taste when it comes to picking her outfit (which makes her even more sympathetic in my opinion), she is still capable of handling things when things get tough and extremely stressful. 5/5

Insidious (2010)

Felt like watching this again after a recent post here at the forum. I can see how people could dislike it, but I also understand why it is so much loved and praised. First off, it's one of the most unoriginal movies made in years - they shamelessly ripped off everything from Darth Maul to Poltergeist and back, which can be quite insulting if you know your movies. If you are able to oversee that, Insidious offers solid and creepy atmosphere with decent acting and f/x. My advice: swallow your pride so you can enjoy this platter of recycled scares that's not even clever enough to be called a homage (they failed if that was the intention). It works for me. 4/5

Battle of Los Angeles (2011) - what do you get when The Asylum and the SyFy Channel team up to rip off Independence Day? It's hard to describe. I'd liken it to watching 90 minutes of footage of the kid who finished in last place at the Special Olympics I guess. A big alien saucer parks itself over LA and the Air National Guard is called on to attack it. Problem: Their first pilot is afraid to take off, so all the other planes must wait for him until the tough old drill sergeant can threaten him enough to get him moving. The drill sergeant who's up in the control tower - which is a dilapidated shack perched on stilts. At the dirt runway which serves as the National Guard's airport. A bit later we get to see one of the crashed jet fighters - it's stuck in the top of a building like a lawn dart. Nia Peeples jumps off the top of a 5 story building and plunges her Samurai sword into the top of an alien ship. Another pilot learns to fly an alien spaceship in about one minute. Et cetera. Goes right past being "so bad it's good" and hits so ridiculous it's dumbfounding. 2.5/5.

Predator: The Quietus (1988) - a New York reporter who's just taken her first acting class is sent to the UK to investigate reports of a mysterious beast attacking people in the woods. Cue '80s power ballad. She teams up with a famous big game hunter - cue '80s power ballad. He doesn't really say much. They set up a tent out in the woods as various extras get killed by a mysterious beast. Cue '80s guitar solo. Eventually they meet up with some weird guy who wanders through the woods reciting poetry. Cue '80s brooding sax solo. Eventually they have a big showdown with he beast. Cue guitar solo. Very weird and cheap movie with terrible acting and scatterbrained editing. Seemed like they were learning to make a movie as they went, as it got slightly less bad in the second half. 2.25/5.

Logged

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

Predator: The Quietus (1988) - a New York reporter who's just taken her first acting class is sent to the UK to investigate reports of a mysterious beast attacking people in the woods. Cue '80s power ballad. She teams up with a famous big game hunter - cue '80s power ballad. He doesn't really say much. They set up a tent out in the woods as various extras get killed by a mysterious beast. Cue '80s guitar solo. Eventually they meet up with some weird guy who wanders through the woods reciting poetry. Cue '80s brooding sax solo. Eventually they have a big showdown with he beast. Cue guitar solo. Very weird and cheap movie with terrible acting and scatterbrained editing. Seemed like they were learning to make a movie as they went, as it got slightly less bad in the second half. 2.25/5.

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As a result of a deal struck with a local car dealership, Daniel Kane spends the film searching for the monster whilst driving a Fiat Panda.

I've been a genre fan all my live but this is the first time I've ever heard of Predator: The Quietus.

Cold Prey - "back to basics" type horror movie. I think the ones they make now are more careful about avoiding plot holes and out and out cliches. A bunch of very scruffy Norwegians or whatever they are go outback snowboarding and end up crashing at an old ski lodge with a story about a missing kid with an eye birthmark attached to it, so there's your Jason/ Freddy/ etc Sogorney Weaver type chick wears the pants while everyone falls apart. The people are pretty bland and I'm glad I don't hang out with them but can't complain about much here 4.75/5

THE LOST JUNGLE (1934): Lion tamer Clyde Beatty (played by lion tamer Clyde Beatty) searches for his missing girlfriend on a lost island where tigers and lions coexist. The paper-thin plot is an excuse to string together non-ASPCA approved animal stunts, including two lion vs. tiger battles. 1/5.

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

The choice is simple; refuse to create, and refuse to grow, or build, with care and love.

Predator: The Quietus (1988) - a New York reporter who's just taken her first acting class is sent to the UK to investigate reports of a mysterious beast attacking people in the woods. Cue '80s power ballad. She teams up with a famous big game hunter - cue '80s power ballad. He doesn't really say much. They set up a tent out in the woods as various extras get killed by a mysterious beast. Cue '80s guitar solo. Eventually they meet up with some weird guy who wanders through the woods reciting poetry. Cue '80s brooding sax solo. Eventually they have a big showdown with he beast. Cue guitar solo. Very weird and cheap movie with terrible acting and scatterbrained editing. Seemed like they were learning to make a movie as they went, as it got slightly less bad in the second half. 2.25/5.

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As a result of a deal struck with a local car dealership, Daniel Kane spends the film searching for the monster whilst driving a Fiat Panda.

I've been a genre fan all my live but this is the first time I've ever heard of Predator: The Quietus.

You gotta check that one out Claws

I'm one of its biggest fans I guess - I gave it a 2.25/5 and its IMDb average is 2.4/10.

Logged

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

Cold Prey - "back to basics" type horror movie. I think the ones they make now are more careful about avoiding plot holes and out and out cliches. A bunch of very scruffy Norwegians or whatever they are go outback snowboarding and end up crashing at an old ski lodge with a story about a missing kid with an eye birthmark attached to it, so there's your Jason/ Freddy/ etc Sogorney Weaver type chick wears the pants while everyone falls apart. The people are pretty bland and I'm glad I don't hang out with them but can't complain about much here 4.75/5

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Already out for nearly 3 years internationally, Shout! Factory is finally bringing the Norwegian Cold Prey II to the States. Anchor Bay released the first film from Roar Uthaug.

Riffing on John Carpenter’s Halloween sequel, the slasher will arrive on home video April 23.

Only doing some pimping. The Cold Prey movies have been available on Blu-ray in Europe for some years, nice to see the U.S. slowly catching up. The sequel is highly recommended.

I would love to, but it's only available for streaming on amazon in the U.S. I think? They don't allow people outside the states to watch their streams, and I haven't seen any kind of DVD release so far