Hipster nonsense of the day: The leather wine-rack for your bicycle

It's not the biggest problem facing the young urban cyclist — that's how to roll up your skinny jeans to avoid bike-chain ensnarement. But what's the second biggest problem? Transporting bottles of wine. Until now.

Some folks out in Canada have been busy in their workshops, and now, for a mere $32, you can dangle your wine bottle ever-so-phallically between your thighs as you pedal across town to woo young women sitting in parks. And don't worry that the holster doesn't make room for glassware or a corkscrew. You can drink wine out of a Frisbee!

You'll forgive the departure from our ordinarily sacrosanct and God-driven mission, but it's a Friday in the summer — half of you are already drinking rose coolers on the ferry to Fire Island — and I'm a little cranky.