How to Stop your Man from Staring at Other Women

Does your man constantly stare at other woman no matter how many times you’ve told him it makes you feel uncomfortable? Then it’s time to open your bag of sneaky tactics. And trust us, this will stop your man from staring at other women when you’re around!

Tell him that his constant drooling appreciation of the opposite gender in front of you bothers you. Why? Explain that it makes you feel uncomfortable. Ask him how he would react if you did the same and state that it makes you look like a fool in front of others. If he cares for you, he will understand and try to control his ogling eyes at least by some extent.

Don’t accept any corny excuses

If your man comes up with the most likely response, that he has to check out other women to reestablish that you’re the best for him, don’t accept it. If he really loves you, he doesn’t need to constantly reaffirm it, and definitely not by leching at other women. Laugh it off and demand a smarter explanation or mention that his behavior is unacceptable. And if his excuse is that he can’t help it, point out that he’s a grown-up who should be in control of his behavior. And if he’s that much of a slave to his ogling habits, you might want to consider whether you want to be with such a man.

The pot calling the kettle black

If, after you’ve talked to him about it, he continues to size up other women in front of you, it’s probably time to give him a taste of his own medicine. Next time you’re out together and he starts giving his eyes some exercise, crack your knuckles and prepare yourself for a staring game, female style. Stare at other men, smile more often at others, do that thing with your hair as you stare at another man, giggle at that cutie in the next table and look away, and just about do anything that would attract other men’s attention.

When he asks you about it, which he definitely would if he even remotely cares about you, let your eyes drift away to the next table again, before smiling at him lovingly as if he’s just come back into focus. A vague, “Sorry hun, did you say something?”, should get him making himself look like an idiot, at which stage you can laugh it off and say you’re only joking, or that it doesn’t mean anything, or that he’s the one you really want.

He may get what you’re trying to prove here, unless he’s a dense troll. But in either case, a few dates of the staring game should help him learn a good lesson about stares and the power women wield when it comes to the staring game!

And while you’re indulging in the staring game, make sure you have your share of fun. After all, if you man doesn’t get the hint, you’d at least have a new arm candy who’s staring back at you right now!

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DISCUSSION

51 thoughts on “How to Stop your Man from Staring at Other Women”

I have a situation I’d like help with please, as I am unsure who else to ask. I’ve been dating a man, I wouldn’t mind him ogling women, though he takes it further. While driving he goes over the line, because of staring at women in cars driving by.
He watches women consistently, it doesn’t matter whether there 70 or 12, as long as they have a bottom or breasts, he will stare at them. He walks around rearranging himself, several times a day, or he will keep his hands in his shorts or pants for short periods.
To me it is rude and disrespectful, as there is no reason to do this when I am with him, as he is gone several days during the week, when he knows I’m watching him he will refrain for a short period then continue.
I asked him once how long he had a crush on his friends wife, ( as he will stare down her shirt every chance he gets and anything else he’s able to stare at) he became angry and said I’ve known her for 14 years, and I’ve seen her in her underwear. Meanwhile I asked the women and her husband he was speaking about, and she replied he’s never seem me in my underwear, and who does he think he is, saying something like that ? Other then his endless obsession with females, he doesn’t seem like a horrible man, but it does greatly concern me, as he never takes a break from it. Is there a way to help him, or is it a hopeless cause trying to change his disgusting habits ?
Thanks for any advice you can offer.

I don’t think men like this can or will change. They cannot control their behavior. He would have to work on self-control. Some men are unable to do so. Go to counseling with him on this issue and repost. Even if just for one session. I am curious to see how relationship counselor would handle this. Perhaps a different man is in order…. New boyfriend? Good luck.

My new boyriend says he was my secret admirer for a long time, and now we’re together. i see him looking at young women in those decorated on the backside jeans, almost every time we go to stores together. He says he’s not doing anything, but he did say a former girlfriend asked him what he’s looking at, and seemed upset about it. This is really bothering me. I’m not young, but still attractive.

My friend’s long time boyfriend stares at other girls all the time. She even walks in front so she won’t see others. He will even hide sometimes so the girl won’t see him stare. He makes girls or women, feel uneasy sometimes so they cover up with a top. She talks to him and it always ends up in a fight. Nothing she says to him helps. What should she do?

Well, I talked with my boyfriend and he got upset at me. I asked him if he looked at girls more when he was drinking, and he said yes. After that, he stopped drinking. The girl-watching became less. He still does it, but stops himself before it gets bad.
I did try some of the suggestions here, such as looking at other men. He admitted it made him uncomfortable, and he seems sort of lost when I do it.
Last night, he looked at a young lady, who seemed to be with her parents, and followed her with his eyes. We were on our date night, which he started in the first place. When he saw me, he stopped. I couldn’t sleep all night, thinking of his eyes following her, not once but twice.

From a male perspective, I will say that I married “up” with my wife, she is certainly better looking than I am. I am a very successful businessman and she has access to the good life via our relationship.

I used to date a woman I almost married who was a GREAT person, however, not too attractive. My eyes constantly wandered.

With my current wife, she haas 100% of my attention, I enjoy noticing other men (probably your poor husbands and boyfriends) checking out my wife.

The key, I think, is making sure as a woman, you are better looking than your husband. The reverse situation will cause the man to keep shopping, even when he is attached.

Hi Julie I want you to know I know exactly how you feel! The thought of my husbands eyes on other women is enough to drive a woman mad. Every time he stares at women it’s the most awful feeling. He’s not even graceful about it! When I confront him he says he hasn’t done anything wrong. He gets upset. I’ve stared at men and he doesn’t notice or seem to care. We’ve been together for a long time. I’m not young but still attractive. He is too. I see girls look at him all the time. I want him to go to counseling with me but he says its my problem and wont go. What do I do? I would appreciate male responses as well. Thanks

Staring at other men or flirtatious behavior to teach your man a lesson only helps if you yourself are a young, hot cutie. Also, you may get a response you didn’t want. That happened to me. I stared at a hot guy and he came over and started flirting with me, meanwhile, my boyfriend was not paying any attention. Classic! So I don’t think “giving him a taste of his own medicine” helps. What helped me was to get pretty damn upset and leave the premises. I cried, told him it was disrespectful and that anytime it happened again I would leave and I didn’t give a damn where we were. He has not ogled a woman in my presence since. If he even looks like he’s about to I get distant and chilly.

The male who commented, oh my goodness. What you said is depressing, but maybe it is true. We ladies just aren’t good looking enough. I imagine it would be true that if we were all super foxes and men were constantly staring and hitting on us our men would be too preoccupied guarding against the competition to look at other women. But my man was just looking at women, period. Particularly blondes. But any woman. If he couldn’t see her face if she appeared young from behind he had to see her face. We can’t all be beauty queens, and most women don’t want an ugly man.

No offense to you. But you do realize you’re coming across as a very insecure woman to your boyfriend, don’t you?

If you stop your guy from staring at women the way you do, you’re stopping him from doing what he likes by preventing him in a very aggressive manner. You’re only going to make him want to stare at women even more than before! Probably when you aren’t around.

Show off your confidence instead. Let him see for himself that you’re a much more attractive woman because you’re confident and believe in yourself. And you say your boyfriend didn’t care when another guy came up to you and started flirting with you. That’s not right, is it? He probably doesn’t feel like he’ll ever lose you because you come across as very insecure to him. Just trying to help you.

when a guy doesnt know you, you are just an object. once you are in a relationship with him you become a person and he no longer sees you as an object. you elevate to a wife which is like a mother daughter, sister. you are now family.

your man is not thinking about trading his family for an object he sees passing by. a man will go out with a hot woman and once he knows her and the fantasy becomes a reality he changes gears. if he doesnt like the womans personality, it doesnt even matter if she was hot, because she is known to him and loses the fantasy object appeal.

men who stare at women for long periods are simple enticed by the tools of attraction. most women dont even know that the clothing they think is conservative really is not conservative.

you may be covered from head to toe but if the dress attire is form fitting, where the shape of thighs,bottom or breasts are visible, you will be subject for male attention.

second, wearing make up, is a scientific aspect wear you are making your face appear to be flawless. the coloration and foundation makes a man stare because the girl appears to be something she is not. most guys cant even tell when a woman is wearing make up. putting makeup on is what will most likely catch a mans attention, other than showing skin. its a deception.

high heels are associated with sex and stillethos, so that also makes an issue. really if women wore clothing as conservative as most men do, they would find less of this eye popping burden.

as far as getting your man to stop…..well first you need to understand the three ways a man mainly looks at a woman.

first there is the look of appraisal

second there is the look of lust

and third there is the look of flirtation

other than that, guys will give various reasons and excuses but it ultimately comes down to those three.

if your man is giving looks of flirtation, than that is not a sign of danger, but rather DOOM. that is a guy trying to engage in eye contact with the subject. if he is doing this it most likely would go futher if the opportunity presented itself.

if your man is looking because of lust….well believe it or not this can be fixed. looking with lust is when a man attenpts to imagine gropping or dreaming about penatrating the subject. some guys will stare regardless if discovered because it is the only consolation they will have knowing full well nothing more will come from this encounter. this is a progressive type of look which is an addiction. it can be stopped by stopping porn, watching rated r movies, magazines, masturabtion with mental thoughts of glamour women. basicly stop feeding the demand until it dies. it does take effort but eventually will die down. personally if you get Christ in you he will stop desiring the lust altogether. once again the man has got to want to. also he may not know it but its more peaceful for him to discontinue because he will stop feeling the need to scan for victims of prey lol

lastly you have the look of apprasial which has no sexual attachment to it, but is a result of seeing someone who simply looks very attractive. if your man finds himself staring best to have him wear sun glasses. this type of look, is not a betrayal but simply what happens when you see a costumed person walking down the street. men wear clothes but women wear costumes. face paint, high heels, 100 dollar salon hair cuts, painted nails….its a costume. so imagine walking down town on halloween and not looking……yeah good luck. should it bother you? not this kind, because even if you are more attractive, the variation of beauty is appealing and attention worthy. like I said before there is no sexual attachment to the look and could be done to any gender. women just happen to bait more attention, than men. but if a supermodel man walked by and had face paint and good proportions you man would look too because it is not sinful, just natural to notice.

however if it because a problem because attention always seems elsewhere, try not going to places where people are not baiting for so much attention all the time, or in hours less busy. help you man out by not going through the gauntlet.

dont think your man doesnt love you, just try to fgure out what kind of look he does and adress it by understanding the circumstances that they occur.

If your guy ogles at women so much that it starts to bug you, just give him a dose of his own medicine. If that doesn’t stop him, tell him calmly it bothers you when he ogles since you think it’s rude. When he denies ogling(most guys do), better drop the topic because dragging on in order to make him admit will never work and only lead to heated arguments. If he’s a considerate gentleman, he’ll curb himself next time you hang out together. You could even jokingly say something like, “my friend’s embarrassed to hang out with her guy because he ogles at women too much. She’s worried other women will deem her guy as a boor.” That should remarkably reduce his habit because he’d surely want you to be proud of him.
In any case, it’s kinda normal for guys to check women out. Most guys do, and if their girlfriends or wives aren’t around, even the more discreet oglers will probably do it. It should be noted that some guys stare at women and want the women to stare back for the sake of proving to himself that he’s still attractive :D.
That said, try not to take it too seriously and you’ll even stop noticing it until it’s no longer an issue. Remember it’s you, and not those women, who hold the keys to his heart.

OMG this has been writen by a woman wh hates man. 99% of this is not true. WOMEN DON’T DO THIS!!! Your man is just gonna break up with you after this. Just let your man watch other women, what’s the big deal about it?!

Wow!!! permalink was on point! All men like to look @ other women. Its very common. In fact, i have married men stare at me right infront of there wives. Women we should be confident knowing thats what men Have eyes for. Theres a differece between looking and staring. Now if hes staring in my opion hes fantasizing bout how he can get you in the bed. The one hes wit is probabley nt attracting him anymore so yes hes lookin/starin @ sumden mire appealing to him. If ma man was doing that i would look with him lol! I wouldnt care cause at the end of tha day hes coming home with meee…haha soooooo look stare i captured n gt his heart fa lyfe:) us women truly have to get it right and tightt, den hes less likly to be staring. If ur attractive and hes still doing it. Then only 1 reasons its just his nature. Live and deal wit it life to short. When u think bout it its petty and immature. Go threw the frustrations of finding someone who wnt which is slim ta none..bhaaaa ~Natrees~

Just wanted to ask if it would be ok for a 54 yr old highschool teacher to stare at, and fanasize about, your teenage daughter, sister…son, or brother, for that matter. The staring may be ‘natural’, but so is a lot of ape-like primitive instictual behavior. For some reason men can control other animal behavior…but not this? No, it is a choice a person makes, whether to respect the ‘object’ (aka woman), and to respect the woman he is with, or to disrespect both. As simple as that. Why does everyone seem to assume that men are too weak to control themselves? Are you too weak, fellas? Really? In nature, a competing female will kill other females, or even her own young, to establish hierarchy and ensure she gets a strong, viable mate. Luckily, most women ( with the exception of daytime talk show guests) have evolved beyond that instinct. Too bad men aren’t all expected to do the same. It is disgusting to think of an old perv ogling teenagers. Tell me…where is the line between ok and pervy? When will we expect men to rise above ape-brain?

My boyfriend does this too, and it’s true that it is just a habit , and natural for them to stare. But if you’re feeling jealous, its only because your feeling insecure or your relationship is rocky. Let him know how you feel about it, but if it donesnt stop, try being a lesbian? Lol trust me they stare either way. (I’ve been on both sides) If you trust your man, you know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him having a look see . But that jealous feeling is on you. And I don’t believe that doing the spiteful thing and blatantly staring at other men as a habit you should create for yourself. It will only cause future problems. Seriously, girl. Check yoself.

MY HUSBAND AND I VISIT OUR LOCAL GROCERY STORE FREQUENTLY ITS A WOMAN WHO WORKS THERE THAT GREW UP IN THE SAME AREA AS MY HUSBAND THE FIRST FEW TIMES SHE ACKNOWLEDGED ME BY SPEAKING THEN SUDDENLY SHE STOPPED SPEAKING TO ME BUT WOULD MAKE IT HER BUSINESS TO SAY SOMETHING TO MY HUSBAND SOMETIMES IM THERE ALONE SHE NEVER SAYS A WORD BUT IF WE’RE TOGETHER SHE ALWAYS GOT SOMETHING TO SAY IT COULD BE A SIMPLE “I SAW YOUR FAMILY BACK HOME” OR WHEN DID YOU START SMOKING CIGARETTES. JUST ANYTHING NOW I TOLD MY HUSBAND THAT I SEE THIS AS A DISRESPECT HE THINKS I’M OVER REACTING WOULD I BE WRONG IF I TOLD HER NOT TO SPEAK TO MY HUSBAND NOW I CAN’T CONTROL HER I DON’T CARE IF SHE SPEAK TO ME I PREFER THAT SHE DIDN’T BUT HE IS MY HUSBAND SHOULDN’T HE HONOR ME AND NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR HER LIKE WELL MAYBE SHE DIDN’T SEE U WHEN I KNOW SHE DID…PLEASE HELP TICKED OFF WIFE

I’ll tell you what I think of this disrespectful behaviour, which, by the way, there is NO excuse for. Now, there’s nothing wrong with finding a woman attractive, which can be known from just one glance. But if the man stares, he’s probably starting to undress the woman in his mind, and do sexual stuff to her, treating her like an object for his selfish gratification. This is adultery. The Bible calls this adultery, if the man staring and fantasizing is married, or the woman he’s staring at is married. He’s being a pig and doesn’t deserve any woman. He’s not fit to be in a relationship if he won’t control – WON”T, not CAN’T – his eyes or his mind. I don’t care what excuse men use – an, they always try to make excuses for this horrible behaviour.

The bible talks about men with adulterous eyes and this is exactly what it means.

We were just at the supermarket and I caught him looking once (allowed), twice (pushing it a bit), three, four, five, six times (downright rude and disrespectful!) at another woman. He is always doing this, so I made a joke about it and steered him away from her – he did it again – by which time I was feeling pretty stupid and humiliated. So, I left him in the queue to unload, pay, pack and carry all the shopping whilst just standing at the end if the checkouts reading a magazine. He was fuming!! When he asked me why I had made him feel so stupid, I just told him “because that’s how you make me feel when you ogle other women”. It was soooo satisfying. He still had the cheek to deny it though!!! Men!

My husband stares at other woman, I hate it, it really annoys me. I have told him how I feel about this. I hate going places with my husband because I know he wil be staring at other woman and i feel like a fool. We have had many discussions about this and he told me that its nothing, when he sees other woman I automatically pop in his head. I love my husband but I dont know what to do, He told me that its a guy thing they stare but it means nothing. He says im the most beautiful girl in his eyes but somehow I dnt believe it. My mum is the most beautiful woman in my dads eyes, My dad dont go checking out other woman, My brothers wife is the most beutiful in his eyes my brother dnt go checkin out other woman. my husband told me that he will work on it. I keep hearinf dis all the time but it has nt changed. Should i tell him that if he does not work on it, I will leave him?… Because one day he might look and then would want to touch?… I need advice stuck… I try to think positive but dis really bugs me…

my fiance does this too but he doesnt stare, he automatically sees skin in the corner of his eyes and it pulls his attention most of the time… briefly.

im not sure sometimes wether to be mad at him or be insulted at the women who are dressing like its always a major sexy fashion show. either way its not comfortable i agree but did you not look to see what he was lookin at? why? because he looked or because you saw something offensive in your eyes?

i dont know the answers but my guy knows how i feel and we are both workin on it because everyone is different and if the girls he was lookin at werent so outwardly attractive and attention seeking to begin with i wouldnt be upset for him looking i dont think, and he probably wouldnt be looking anyways.

My situation is a little different, I have been with this guy for four years we have a strong relationship. We go to strip clubs together and I don’t have problem with that. There have been a few times where I caught him staring at other women when we go out but not often. We talked about it and he understands my insecurities and promises that I am enough for him so he really tries not to look at other women. My problem is that he constantly looks at pictures of chivettes on the Chive. I have nothing against the Chive I look at the funny pictures and support their charities. I noticed that my guy spends quite a bit a time every day looking at the pictures of half naked girls.I talked to him and told him that it bothers me and he deleted the app and reassured me that he didn’t want to hurt me and that he doesn’t look/ think about other women. However, I am gone for a couple of weeks at a time with work and this last week he got a new phone. When I got home for the weekend I asked to look at it and he handed me his phone and then panicked like he forgot something he told me he need to send a quick message and asked for it back and he was trying to hid the screen from me but I could see that he was deleting the app. I let it go but later that night I asked if he still looked at the chive and he said no but I didn’t want to start a fight since I just got home. Should I be worried that he is still looking at these pictures or that he is now hiding it from me.

My man does the staring thing all the time he like walks into a room and immediately combs it for the attractive women, when he finds them I catch him staring a lot of the times I don’t say anything but a few when I have caught him locking eyes with another female I mention it and he always denies it or acts like he didn’t see her but then it pisses me off because now your trying to treat me as if I’m an idiot. I’m bisexual so I also check females out but it just bothers me because I know the female is secretly thinking “her man wants me” and he probably does if he has to constantly stare at other females right

I’m So sick of mine checking out other women. No matter how it makes me feel or disrespectful it is to me. Not to mention what it does to your self esteem! I ask: didn’t you marry the one you wanted? Then why are you still looking! I’m sick of men acting like they have No self control! I don’t even want to go anywhere with mine. But the next time this happens, I’m gonna say really loud….. Hey can you come over here So my husband can check you out!! I want him to feel like crap too! ????

Men have been made to feel and act like they can do and get away with anything. They don’t value women and women don’t value themselves. Boob jobs, butt jobs, waxing, shoes that look like something out of a clown movie, it is out of control. All of this is done for some clown who continues to devalue women and claim they love women ….respect yourself and maybe they will respect you more.

This “advice” counters other “advice” that says a man watching other women is a turn-on the wife needs to enjoy!

This response here to this completely backward, you unduly jealous wives!

Instead of whining about the way you don’t like your man’s design, add to his enjoyment by dressing seductively, and encourage guys to look you over while hubby watches. Then reap the joy of hubby’s new interest!

Such bad advice as here is why the Divorce rate is so high – women assume men are possessions, and remoldable to the dictates of the wife. Ladies, it aint so . . .

First of all,Im really glad that i came across this page,as from what iv been through in my life and seeing it all ,The Behavior of men,as i went though this my self,and its not a nice feeling,not only it hurts to see your partner compliantly staring at other women,and he get caught not once,at the same person,and continue to stair,because i pull hes attenchain,he end up telling me, he says i am crazy,because i imagine it all,and when he say that he makes me so angry !! im loosing faith in men,ok im not going to in-generate every one is like this,but what makes a man do such thing,im walking, in front of me there is a couple hand in hand,he turns hes face and start to wink at me,this not once it happened many times,i can not understand they s people,what good lairs they are !!!!! if people havint got self control,i really think they should be in a relation ship at all……

I have dealt with 5 years with my husband staring at women and saying hes not WHILE still looking at them. I as well hate going places with him. I hate being home bc Im so bitter and sick of his lies. I really try at times to give the benefit of the doubt. I strongly disagree with divorce but if Im so miserable and hes tired of me asking and telling him to stop staring. why stay in this marriage that I feel betrayed to all of the time. Or do things change and men grow up? Not to sound on a high horse or anything but majority of ppl tell us that my husband married way up and that hes lucky. So i dont really think looks matter in a marriage. Sure maybe they help but it sure doesnt keep a man from lusting. Anyways its nice to know Im not alone in this feeling when we see our men look at other women.

I’ve read thru the suggestions and have a new one for you. I am a MODEL, with a perfect 38 24 36 figure, piercing green eyes, long legs, 5’71/2″ tall, beautiful enough to model, clothes, makeup, etc. in all types of commercials and catalogs. I don’t need make up, very blessed to have natural beauty. Sometimes I just wear a tee with jeans, sometimes I dress up in heels with jeans or a dress.

My point is that, even though men ogle me, I GIVE MY BOYFRIEND THE RESPECT HE DESERVES AND DON’T SMILE OR LOOK AT MEN WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER, EVER!! I’m sensitive to his feelings and would not emasculate him like that because of my love and adoration for him as my partner.

He is an average man in every way, no athletic build, but very intelligent, wonderful companion, lover, etc. Yes, I’ll admit that he’s a nerd. He tells me he loves me and wants to marry me.

So! One would think, using ALL of your suggestion above and I mean ALL. The average man that I’m with would appreciate and cherish the women I am. Sadly, he does exactly
what all of you are describing.

I have performed ALL OF YOUR SUGGESTIONS, but nothing changes. After a 21/2 year investment, it’s disrespectful and he looks like he’s available. If it’s female, he’s ogling.
I certainly don’t have an issue with insecurity, I get paid for my profound good looks and my confidence for every company that hires me for how I look.

This ogling is not about good or bad looks, dressing up or down, age, insecurities, or any other suggestions that may have been offered. To me he acts like a boy going through puberty, realizing for the first time about women. Rude, insensitive behavior, that is just disrespectful. Heck, even women are looking at me!

My boyfriend says its natural to look at other women and he says he will not change for me… I’m not really asking him to change, just the fact that he looks at other girls and says things about them in a way that make me uncomfortably angry to the way I feel like I’m not good enough for him… what should I do?

Right now I’m on holiday… Day 1 spoilt as I had a moan at him…on the way from the airport same old… Partner sees a good looking girl and stares.. Same once we leave the plane he stares at these two twins who looked old enough to be his mother! He doesn’t just stare, it’s almost as if he is trying to catch there eye/ attention. Now don’t get me wrong I also attract attention from other guys I’m blonde, curvy figure with boobs!! I certainly don’t flaunt myself and I feel as if he does this staring thing because he feels insecure and it’s almost like he is reassuring himself by staring at these other women … Oh and other women he stares at are always very tanned with long dark hair… Any ideas how I deal with this…?

I Honestly never thought dude’s checking other women out bothered females so much.. I kind of see it as petty that a woman would hold it against their man for doing so…I have caught my wife checking other dudes out before and have teased her about it. We have been married 10 years this November. The expectations of some people are far to much imo. Do you lady’s really think that when you get married to a man that all other attractive women cease to exist? And that he won’t notice them anymore? If you do you need Help of the mental variety.

This whole thing about men staring at other women is rude and disrespectful. Men seem not to care about their partner’s feelings. I have been with my boyfriend 11 months and when I noticed his obsession for looking at other women very soon in the relationship. First it was looking up profiles of sexy women in social media and making comments..at the point I thought it was harmless. But one day I found out he had been watching porn in my computer not just once but multiple times. Thats when I started watching him. When we go out and noticed that everytime a sexy young girl is coming his way he cant help but to stare even if I am close enough to see him. I have confronted him many times but he always denies it and says he looking at something else that was on the same direction..always the same lame excuse. I am so fed up with his behavior and I’ve came up with the conclusion that its easier to break up and find a new man then to argue about this all the time and not get anywhere. One or two times of telling someone that something is bothering you should be enough..if its not then its more than obvious that they care more about feeding their eyesight that the relationship. Good luck to you all with this same issue. I dont think mine has a solution. 🙁

IMHO, I see it from both sides.
On one hand, men are men, they are first primal then, when rationale hit them, they realize it’s a woman (attractive or not). A glance is one thing.

On the other hand, a blatant stare up and down, double take in the presence of a sig other is super disrespectful on all levels. So many studies have noted that couples that have mutual respect and consideration for the feelings of their other last and are generally happy.

What these men are doing is not mutually respectful.

I’m guessing the women who are in the relationship with these guys threaten, coerce, ultimatums, silent treatments all to no avail. I’ve been one of them.

What it comes down to whether you can put up with it or not. Really think about this. No ultimatums, no coercion. Can you live with this behavior?

I’ve been in rel with men who dial it down and others who just couldn’t care (an abusive relationship emotionally and physically). What I came to learn is it is about insecurity and afraid of being alone, about not being good enough, about finding someone better. Both the men and the women feel this way. Yes, both. The guys looking and the women with these guys.

For women, I know first hand these are really tough feelings to work through both in and out of the relationships.

To the model and other women on being pretty or not. Honestly, I strongly suggest its NOT at all about that with these guys. These men are extremely insecure. Extremely. That is their way of “one upping” their women, making them feel like they could move on at any moment. They don’t want you to know that being with you makes them vulnerable and susceptible any kind of pain. And, sadly, these men are likely told or believe most women cheat so they are always looking for something / someone else.

The guy who’s with the model, He is absolutely insecure. He knows you could be with any man. He knows you don’t like it when he looks at other women, it’s his way of controlling you (whether he admits or not).

Ladies, that’s all I’m saying, and the men are gonna hate me for this, the bottom line is it’s their way of controlling us, making us feel small and insecure so they know you’ll stay with them if/until they’re ready to leave themselves.

When I left my ex, I positioned it as he’s clearly unhappy with me and with the way I look so he is now free to find someone better. He was soo upset with me because he could no longer control me with that behavior. He then started to negotiate with me. Sadly, and guys you should note this one down, when a woman finally decides to leave: it means she’s been thinking about it, planning it and making the decision for a long time. When she leaves, her mind was pretty much made up a long time before.

If you think it’s her problem, think again. You want to be with her, stop trying to control her and let her be with you for you not because you’re insecurely controlling her through ogling other women. But, guys will say it’s a man thing. Nope, I’ve been with men who don’t do this. And they were as masculine as they get. It’s about control, insecurity, and lack of respect for yourself and your woman. You look like douche bags when you do it. That’s it.

Am a very beautiful young lady of 22, Have been datin this guy for four years now. He didn’t have this attitude of starin at other women while with me but suddenly in d fourth yea he started. Am so disturbed about it becuz it makes me look like a fool. He denies all the time when I confront him. I have never done that to him, infact I have rejected so many successfully men becuz of him and for him not to change this habbit of lustful starin becuz of me hurts me so much. Right now am thinking of trying out other men. Have been with him for 4yrs and he’s my first and only man in ma life. If he doesn’t appreciate itzn then I’ll move into some1 better. Am too young to be hurt by dat disgustin attitude of his!

as a single woman, I am so tired of being in the middle of couples and their games. Um people are attracted to others that is a given but what I notice is when an attractive man looks at me think nothing of it and just smile but then the mean nasty wife or girlfriend gives me a nasty look just because her hubby was nice to me. Very frilly frah behavior….. I bet your men can’t stand you putting them on a leash! Especially in a public setting and I don’t even know you two….. ugh couples and your Alpha games……..thank God I’m single!!!!!!!!!!!

This question is for you Meme. What gave you the courage to leave him? My husband has been doing the same thing to me for almost 10 years. The same thing a lot of you women have said, like staring, oogling, following attractive or maybe not even attractive younger girls down the isles in the store, letting go of my hand and acting like he doesn’t know me when a cute girl is around, etc. I have asked him many times to stop this behavior because of how it makes me feel, not to mention how disrespectful and immature it is! I could understand if he were a 17-year-old teenager, but he is 60!! I am 55, and look damn good for my age! It seems to me like he is hunting, out looking for someone who will respond to him. Guys help me out here, what’s with that?? Can one of you men please explain to me why a man of 60 would act like this? I am okay with one glance or two or even three if it’s a good-looking girl, but staring for long periods of time or looking at someone over and over and over again in my presence is so disrespectful and hurtful! I’ve left him twice and he has promised to try not to stare and oogle. But, he’s still doing it and still gets mad at me for bringing it up when he does. By the way, we hardly have any problems in any other areas of our marriage except for this. As far as sex goes I’m the one that has more of a sex drive, way more of a sex drive than him. I just don’t understand And I’m sad that our relationship is like this.

I’m sad that my 1 year relationship with my boyfriend is like this too. I have told him that I do understand men look but to please not do the whole head turning and/or a full body turnaround at other women at least when we are together. He has plenty of time to do it on his own when we are not together so why can’t he just be more respectful when I’m with him? We once passed by a woman with small very tight shorts on and he says “how am I not supposed to look at that” and my answer was “because I look better” (at least he always tells me that I am better looking to him than other women he sees).
He is 46 years old and says he does a lot of his looking at women without even realizing it. I’ve been trying to be understanding until he actually stopped walking and did a full body turn around to ogle a woman pumping gas! And then got mad when I said something to him about it! How is this not disrespectful to me if I’m supposed to be his girlfriend? He admitted he wouldn’t like me to look at men all the time.
Now I feel like some of the other ladies here who don’t want to go places as much with their man anymore. What really surprised me was when we were driving on the interstate the other day now he has started taking his eyes off the road and turning his head to look at women drivers as they pass by!! And I know he can only see their faces because he has a normal car not an SUV or truck that sits higher, but now he has this habit of trying to look at female drivers too and I can’t help but wonder what is going on? Could part of it be an entertainment factor that has become addicting?

Bottom line I have flat out told him that he needs to cut down on it when we are together and he agreed – but I don’t know what to do if he doesn’t – I really do not want to end it just because of this, I would rather talk it out some more – but how can I when it makes him so upset for me to mention it?
If we did break up how would any other woman be okay with his constant and blatant ogling?

Hi Karen, I am so sorry for you especially because it’s only been one year. As you can see from my comment above yours I have been with my husband for 10 years. I finally left him about when you wrote your comment. It has been hard to be away from him because I still love him, but at least now I have peace of mind! I don’t feel sick every single time I go in public, I can actually go out and enjoy myself now 🙂 since I left him his attitude has changed and he actually acts interested in me again like he did when we first started dating!
It’s so unbelievable to me that I would have to actually leave my husband for him to finally pay attention to me in public, but don’t think he has stopped looking ogling because he hasn’t! He still does it, He tries to pay attention to me, but still can’t stop ogling if there’s a young girl or pretty girl around anywhere in the vicinity we are I don’t think he will ever be able to stop doing that and I finally realized I cannot live with a man that disrespects me.
I still have days where I wonder if I made the right choice and I feel sad without him, But overall I have way more peace now and can actually enjoy being in public again. Since I have had time to think I have realized that I pick men like this. I have noticed that not all men do this and if I ever get into another relationship you can damn well bet that I will make sure it’s not with a man that ogle’s women!!! I will keep you updated on how things are going now that I am separated, wish me luck 🙂

I am so glad I found this link. I have not slept all night. I have phoned in work sick today. I cant stop crying. I am getting married in a few months but I think I will call it off because I cant cope with how I feel. My fiance looks at girls a lot. Sometimes it is just a glance but sometimes it is a full look up and down. He stops taking in mid sentence and then can’t remember what he was talking about. When I met him I had very low self esteem and after a few months he made me feel fantastic. He told me I was beautiful , sexy , funny and for the first time in about 30 years I started to feel good about myself. Then he proposed and thing were amazing. Now I don’t want to go anywhere with him, even shopping! I feel like he has pushed me right off the pedestal her put me on. I feel worthless and lower than ever before. The girls he looks at are usually in their 20s, slim and very pretty. Not like me at all. I try to make myself feel better by dressing well, doing my hair, a bit of make up etc and he says that I shouldn’t bother because I don’t need it but then letches at other women who do. I dont want to give him a taste of his own medicine because I would hate to make him feel the way I do now. He is a lovely man, so kind and considetate, the sex is amazing. Why can’t I get past this???

Vicky, you can’t get past it because it’s a natural response to such behaviour. Sadly, even if you told him it hurts you and he then stopped you’d probably not feel any better because he only stopped in front of you because you asked. Men are very foolish about this. If they only knew they make their wives more vulnerable to other men’s advances when they dilute the relationship they’d get over it pretty quickly. I’ve never been more open to other men’s advances than when I’ve felt rejected by my husband in this way.

imagine if you actually did manage to keep a man around and he did the same thing to you.. I bet your nastiest face would bare itself.. if you’re “so tired of being in the middle of the game”, don’t involve yourself turn your head and keep walking if you see he’s with another woman. Pfft c#nt

My husband of almost 2 years has been staring down women since I’ve known him but yesterday a woman walks past us in a store. He gives her the usual stare down and i continue walking down the aisle I’m heading for but then I notice my husband is not with me anymore. I had a sneaky suspicion what he was doing so I walked fast toward the direction the woman had been walking and sure enough there he was several aisles away standing at the end of her aisle staring at her! My husband literally followed this woman around in the store to keep staring at her!!! He didn’t even try to deny it either or appologize. Ugh! Makes me so mad!

You have self-esteem issues and until you get passed them, you will never be happy. Don’t allow any one person to be the source of your happiness. You be that source. Once you love and respect yourself enough, you won’t have an issue with it because you won’t feel threatened. Us women, when we feel we may lose what’s ours to someone younger and what we perceive as more beautiful, we feel insecure. Gain some confidence.

I’m sorry but this makes it sound like she’s at fault for HIS lecherous behavior. Stop putting up with this shit and making it out to simply be a self esteem issue. The issue is that he has no respect for her. I do agree to make your own happiness. Dump him BC he won’t change. Why would you settle for this?

Lulu can we talk? I have same experience, it is insecurity and also immaturity. Men, nor women, who have treauruse inside themself and have found a diamond woman who loves herself and has found her inner treasure, and two are compatible in all aspects, will be so at bliss and satisfied that they will subconsciously step above this primal act and be oblivient to all external from estetics, because they are whole and complete and their own source of beauty and perfection.