Historians Discover Barack Obama's Old G.I. Joes

Historians and archaeologists at a dig in Nigeria have discovered the boyhood toys of United States President Barack Obama. The group, digging at a remote site about eighty miles from the capital, unearthed an old ammo box with the President's name on it. Inside were several G.I. Joes with hand made paper nametags around their necks.

Dr. Henry "Iowa" Johnson Jr, head of the research team at the site, said "apparently, he didn't refer to his toys as his G.I. Joes. According to the little dog tags, they were his Jihad Abduls."

Johnson also showed maps and battle plans written in crayon that showed attacks against the United States aimed at New York City and Washington D.C..

The American F-14 and Phantom Jet toys in the box were broken into small pieces, but the French built Mirage fighters and the Russain MIGs were all complete. When asked if this meant that the President preferred his American planes and wore them out, Johnson said "no, it shows the opposite. He was using his other fighters to blow up and break the American Air Force jets."

A legal paper from a Kenyan hospital was found in the bottom of the box, but Johnson said that he was under a gag order not to discuss this. The certificate was being held by the CIA officers at the Nigerian embassy for quick transport back to Washington.

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