Swift play runs a current unseen:

messy space, no hurry to clean

at the cost of inspiration.

Chaos holds possibilities –

Their crossed i’s and my dotted t’s;

deeply engaged concentration.

Invention can be far better

than construction by the letter.

A chair hangs from the ceiling at the National Museum in Saratoga Springs, NY, August 2015.

I came from a very different parenting paradigm than the one we live here in my home, today.

As a child, I was constantly judged, and usually found wanting. I was “supposed to be so smart” but I didn’t always make the right choice, or know how to do everything. If I read until dawn during the summer, then slept till noon, I was lazy, despite getting less sleep than I probably needed. I was too messy (almost certainly true), had no common sense (that tends to come with maturity, experience, and the freedom to make some mistakes along the way without being ridiculed for imperfection). I was clumsy (not really; I just sometimes get wrapped up in what’s going on inside my head, and forget to pay attention to the outside – where I end and the rest of the world begins).

Inspiration, discovery, and invention need more space than that. They need the freedom to be, without judgment, and to exist, not for a desired, parent-directed result, but simply for their own sake.

Lise-made craft foam birthday party treats for Buttercup the Littlest Pet, who was also turning twelve.

When I put too much energy into the quest for my variety of order, or demand a specific result of any activity, I can thwart my kids’ (and my own, too!) creativity and overall learning.

We have a different approach. We don’t judge our childrens’ passions, or how they spend their time. We support them; offer them opportunities to go to interesting places and do things they might enjoy; we have a house full of books and games and interesting bits and pieces; excellent wi-fi; pets and the lovely chaos of learning – oh, and conversation. Lots of talking about what we love, what we don’t, what we’re planning and dreaming…

It might seem surprising, but knowing that their time and activities are their own leads to many other forms of learning. Most of what they’d be required to learn in school, on a preset timetable, they come to, on their own, in pursuit of their own goals. And, more often than not, they learn it more deeply, and can use it immediately.

It’s totally worth the lovely chaos it sometimes causes!

Just a quick question –

Can you think of a way that jettisoning judgement would help you or your children to find more joy in learning?

Published by shanjeniah

I am myself. I own my life, and live with three other people who own theirs. My intention is to do only those things that bring me joy, and to give myself wholly to those things I do.
Writing has been my passion throughout my life, and this will become the home for my writing life...because it brings me great joy!
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