Friday, January 15, 2010

Dare you to be Different this Year!

I have not been a fan of 'New year's resolutions', as they have most often than NOT been based on our thoughts about our 'inadequacies ' or 'insecurities' about ourselves. eg. "I have a fat belly" therefore I should do more situps this year, or "I dont earn enough" therefore I need to earn more money this year etc. Obviously we cannot assume all resolutions are under this banner but I do and would like to challenge our 'new year's resolutions' and what they are based on.

What do we feel about ourselves when create them? Are we judging ourselves or even 'nitpicking' on ourselves because we are not in the 'perfect image' we think we should be (both physically or materialistically)? Or are we comfortable with ourselves and the choices we have made and lived in the past year, AND excited to grow and have more experiences to grow in the coming year? Sometimes when we feel we fall short of our 'perfect image', we try to 'better ourselves' and therefore our 'new years resolutions' arise.

So the challenge I proposed to my students today was this. It was to drop all the illusions or perceptions of ourselves that do not allow us to feel 'comfortable' and relaxed about ourselves - and to 'step up'. To step up and LIVE each moment BEING comfortable with who we are - physically, emotionally, financially, socially etc. To make decisions about our lifestyle based on the fact that we are comfortable with who we are and where we are at - and letting that be the foundation of our actions.

ie. Perhaps a more solid one than, committing to punishing ourselves by pushing ourselves to the limit physically (ie. going to the gym 7 days/wk) and when we fall short from such a regime - we again punish ourselves by feeling guilty that we have not kept up the tortureous regime. Again is this based on judging ourselves rather than being comfortable with where we are at and knowing that our body and circumstances change all the time.

Naturally being January, we have just spent the last month perhaps enjoying good food and company or perhaps just enjoying time away from work and our everyday demands. So inevitably we are keen and fired up to move, create and tend to things that you want to do this year. It is a fantastic time, where we feel we can start fresh.

My question is: are your resolutions based on harsh judgment of oneself and focusing on what you 'don't have' or based on a sense of 'lacking. Whether it be physically or materialistically or even spiritually? Or is it based on embracing who are you already, and what you currently have, AND doing things this year based on 'I want to' and not 'I should' or 'I have to'...

When you base your actions on what you are 'lacking'... you may find yourself never satisfied. If you are striving for more money, when you earn more, you inevitably want to buy more and hence want to earn more and the cycle continues. Or likewise when are we comfortable with our bodies enough, to feel that we look & feel amazing regardless if we brushing our teeth or dressing up for a special occasion? Again when will be we ever be 'satisfied'?

So to my point, when we focus on what we are 'lacking' - the cycle of 'experiences of lacking' begins and keeps us feeling 'inadequate' or insecure about ourselves. If we start to relax and feel more comfortable about ourselves, comfortable about our bodies, how much we earn, what we choose to spend our time and energy on... we make different choices and hence have very different experiences. Decisions will be based on the fact that 'you Can and because you Want to'. No longer do we feel 'we should' or 'we have to do this or that'. Naturally when we are comfortable with ourselves, we do things that we 'Want' to do and 'Enjoy' our experiences more.

So I hope you enjoy being 'You' this year. To 'step up' to being comfortable with who you are and just enjoy a fantastic day/year ahead. Its a choice. To enjoy 'living' this year or keep on 'striving for an illusion of perfection'.