Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Thor: God of Thunder #2 - The God Butcher Part 2Written by Jason AaronDrawn by Esad Ribic
Having set up all three time-periods with the first issue, Aaron begins to spread things out a little more, with 99% of this issue being in Thor's youth. Having not been deemed worthy to wield Mjolnir yet, Thor takes his heavy ax Jarnbjorn to go fight some Gods. arriving and only having found "Slavs with spears", he doesn't let his viking men fight yet. Flying down from the sky come the winged steed of Perun the Storm Lord. It has no rider and blood splattered across it. Taking the horse, Thor leaves for the skies, looking for his Gods to fight and giving me my favorite quote from of the series so far,"The clouds drip with blood. Godblood. Immortals have died in these skies today . And it would appear the rain of death has just begun."What he finds up there is the headless body of Chernobog the Black followed by a quick attack by Gorr the Butcher. We then get eight pages of beautiful fighting and a finale of Thor showing Gorr what he's the exact God of (as seen in the side picture). We then get a page of present-day Thor defeating the Hound of Gorr (another badass name) and wanting to finish that which he started long ago. A quick panel of future Thor fighting an army of the Hounds and we're left with young Thor lying beat and motionless is the snow, Gorr nowhere in sight.
Jason Aaron is a vicious writer. His pace is quick and his story is blunt but it's of the absolute most fun. With the first issue being more or less equal story between the three periods, I'm assuming that the next bit will be slowly showing not only Thor's growth as the God of Thunder but Gorr's growth as one of the more ruthless killers he's had to face. The Gorr we see now is cocky and quick and does things himself, almost as though he's still starting. Seeing one Hound in present and an army in the future, his rise must have come covered in death and I'm excited to see it. I actually saw a review at a site I frequent and they gave it a 4/10 and I have to just laugh and wonder what Thor book they read to be so far from the reaction I got from it. I still say this is the best Marvel NOW book that has been put out (I expect that to change one Hickman's Avengers and New Avengers starts up next month).

Friday, November 23, 2012

Milla Jovovich
After watching the abysmal Three Musketeers from last year, I wanted to hurt something. I felt like punching a cute cuddly puppy, that's how bad it was. The one redeeming factor? The gorgeous Milla Jovovich (another lady that I argue with others over). Though not right next to her, I have actually seen her in person and she was even hotter. Proving that less can indeed be more, the lovely Milla Jovovich is happily accepted into the club.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU ONLY GET THIS ONE WARNING IF YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW THE EVENTS IN THIS ISSUE.

I've tried to not love this book so much. I want to give other titles a fair chance, I really do. But sometimes you just can't help but love that which you love and I think I have found that love.
Evan has donned the Apocalypse suit and now the Shadow King will be able to control him and take everything that Brotherhood has ever wanted. But this is mother-flippin' X-Force. EVA is going after Nightcrawler for putting his revenge ahead of the team (Hell, ahead of the world's safety) but even after she stabs him through the torso, he 'ports away, grabbing his "mother" Mystique and heading off somewhere else. Psylock takes down the Omegas and Shadow King, cuz she's a ninja badass. Those were cool but not the big parts.
As Evan goes after Skinless Man, Skinless leads him to the dead body of his dead Uncle Cluster, Fantomex. He offers Evan Fantomex's heart,m saying that he can still bring him back but then crushes it just to disappoint him. Well the jokes on him, for as he turns and runs, good 'ol Wade is standing there, now shoving a sword through Skinless' neck.
"That's for Fantomex. Probably goes without saying."
Deadpool then goes and frees Wolverine before he drowns. As Deadpool tries to give him the rundown, Logan just walks away. With his son Daken already making his escape, it's safe to assume he's following. As the two meet again, Wolverine does his best to stay in check and not let the rage out. Daken doesn't fare as well and Logan knows the only way out is the hard way. After some good slashin' from both sides, Logan turns the table and shoves his son down, submerging him in water. Daken's words from the last issue about wanting a normal life with his parents repeat as Logan sees those visions, crossed between him killing his son. Until both slip away. As Logan holds the dead body of his son, Sabretooth comes up, revealing that he set all this up for this moment. He wants Logan to see this in his head for every night to come. In comes Evan, beating the loving crap outta Victor until Wolverine pulls him off.
"Look around you, son. This is revenge. This is what it gets."
The team rejoins on their ship along with the body of Fantomex and Evan. Psylock leaves her sword behind. Wade sits, finally not making a wisecrack. And Wolverine, still messed up and not healed, is left with his thoughts of a family that should have been.
I really can't say anything new here that I haven't already said many times before. I'll probably cry once this series is over (one more issue still) but shall always have it to reread over and over. As you should too.

Friday, November 16, 2012

As I try to catch myself up on all the DC comics that I've not touched since the relaunch, I have come across a pretty good book in Birds of Prey. Before this series, I had read very few issues of the team ("Oh snap! You shot the wrong ho!" is a good reason why...) but I'm a bit taken back by this one. It's a great, fun read with some great, ass-kicking chicks. My favorite so far is the newly created Starling. There's just something about badass chicks with guns and tats. Pretty certain she's a lesbian in the series but it's not like that's the reason to feel ashamed about this.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Thor: God of Thunder #1 - The God Butcher Part 1Written by Jason AaronDrawn by Esad Ribic
As the Marvel NOW relaunches start to overwhelm us already (two last week, four this week, four or five covers each and most having a second issue scheduled again this month), Marvel has been hitting 'em for the most part. Taking the cake this week is the start of the new Thor series, God of Thunder from gritty writer Jason Aaron (Scalped, Wolverine and the X-Men) and darkly detailed artist Esad Ribic (Loki, Silver Surfer: Requiem).The issue begins 893 AD off the coast of Ireland. A Frost Giant has been wrecking havoc and it falls on Thor to smite the creature (essentially it was part of the story of Beowulf). As the drinking and celebrating of the giant's death run, it is brought to everybody's attention that a body has washed ashore. The villagers assume it's the washed up remains of a shipper who has fallen prey to the ocean but Thor knows better. This of the head of a God.
Cut to present day Thor as he answers the prayers of a little girl (though alien and not female looking at all but I digress) and brings water and aid to a dying planet and it's people. When he asks an elder why the child prayed for him and not one of their Gods, he is told that they believed Thor and his stories to be just that because they have no Gods. He tells of stories his mother had passed down about such beings who lived in jeweled castles in the clouds. After leaving, Thor takes to the skies to look for the missing Gods. As he feared, he has found the clouded realm but no sign of any life. Until he notices a chained door when no other door has been that way. Upon breaking in he finds the dead bodies of the Gods long forgotten, hung from the tops on meat hook. Somebody took their time. Somebody butchered these Gods (it actually sounds a bit silly saying that aloud but it's damn cool). As he realizes this, he is attacked by a beast. Not the Butcher himself but his "guard dog".As that fight rages, we now go "Many Millennia From Now" in Asgard. An old and very Odin-looking Thor sits on the throne, the apparent last God. The Butcher's hoard surrounds outside. If this is going to be his last fight, he shall die a warrior's death;
"I am Thor Odinson. King of a broken Asgard. Last of all the Gods. And today I will try yet again to see Valhalla."Having lost an arm at some point, he attaches his replacement (making us wonder what happened to the rest of the Destroyer) and charges into an entire army of those guard dogs we saw earlier.
Jason Aaron, in one issue and not even having shown him has made us fear the God Butcher. The amazing art of Ribic sets the tone for us as nothing shows us hope for this villain. Everything about the art screams "terror" and Aaron plays on that perfectly. Much like Uncanny Avengers, this story was mostly setup and I mostly didn't care. It was amazing and I'm very excited for what comes from Gorr the God Butcher and where Jason Aaron takes us with Thor.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Alexa Vega
Yeah I first saw her in Spy Kids when she was only 13. Yeah I feel a little creepy drooling over her now despite the legal age. Yeah I'm seeing Machete Kills and hoping for more skin. Yeah it's gonna be hot where I end up going. Yeah it'll be worth it.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Uncanny X-Force #33Written By - Rick Remender Drawn By - Phil Noto
Everything is coming to it's end. As the Brotherhood tries to take Evan as their new leader and sway him into becoming Apocalypse one more, Wolverine and the gang try their best to save him, as well as the world. Wolverine and Daken have a surprisingly pleasant talk about not being a part of each other's lives. AoA Nightcrawler teleports a shark into AoA Blob (for killing his wife, naturally). Daken decides to show Evan that killing Wolverine is easy when all you have to do is drown him. He then beats the snot outta Even for not killing him in order to save Wolverine (nice double-edged sword there) and leaves him with the still beaten Deadpool. Even feels he has no choice to save anybody except for putting on the dreaded Apocalypse suit and giving into his power.
We have one more issue left next month before Remender's run is finished and Uncanny X-Force is relaunched as part of the Marvel NOW! banner and I couldn't be more excited. Saddened too, obviously, but so excited to see what's in store for this ending. Remender has crafted a near perfect series for the last 3 years and everything has been slowly building up to this. I've said it this whole time and I shall continue to say it now: read this book.