What is a Euphemism? A euphemism is the term used for
“the
substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend
or suggest something unpleasant” ... or, simply stated: Doublespeak - How Not To Say What
You Mean - words and phrases used by businesses, educators, advertisers and even
the government

Someone who is computer challenged, clueless and quite possibly a moroff
52 and looking for 25-year old
Rarefied organizational layers just above rank & file to create irrelevant/inappropriate solutions
Needy, and looking for mother figure; Self-centered adult
Ruthlessly exploits people
But expects someone else to pay for it
Unreliable
People who absorb success & advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard
Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average hair growth on ears, nose and back
Spends a lot of time in front of mirrors
Group discussion about a failed project & who is to blame
Love
An office filled with cubicles
Briefcase
Up to date on mumps vaccinations
Petty and vindictive
Will always treat you like a moroff
Dripping with costume jewelry
Part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
Overindulged, spoiled brat
Car has been repossessed
Can't pay the electric bill
No concept of reality
Would frighten a Martian
Being sued for libel
Emaciated, with sharply jutting hipbones
Has $5 in the bank
Desperate
Substance abuser
As long as friendship involves nudity
Good with a remote and a six pack
Expects to be entertained
Features of American landscape exactly the same no matter where one is (i.e. MacBarf)
Comatose
Money
Watches a lot of television
Can just about manage microwaving frozen dinners
Undertaker
Blind to own flaws, unforgiving of others
Pathological liar
Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben
Physical Education
Fire Someone
Owns millions of worthless dotcom options
Big-time spammer
Your opinion doesn't count
Nasty and lacking basic social skills
Annoying entertainment & media spectacles that you can't stop watching
Poor impulse control
Insecure, overly dependent
A bigamist
Manic-depressive
Online answer to the couch potato
Drop in test scores
Ex-wife lives in the basement
1 nanosecond after you've sent your "Take your job & stuff it" email to your boss
Desperate
Loud
Loud
Fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again
Has mastered the art of self-delusion
Calendar
Still breathing
Boring manic-depressive
Someone screams something in a cube farm, & people's heads pop up all over
Jail
Cartel
Owns a white button-down
Shows up on time, give or take 3 hours
Calls the super to fix a leaky faucet
Experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end
Manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, then leaves
Jobless
Needy
Single income, 2 children, oppressive mortgage; Yuppies turn into this
Spends afternoons at K-Mart's perfume counter
Quiet manic-depressive
Involved with a cult
Subject to delusions and fainting spells
Picks his nose at traffic lights
Scatterbrained
Occasional stalker, but never arrested
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny
Slave to every fad that comes down the pike
Won $10 in the lottery once
Easy
Sweaty even when cold or standing still
An ATM or credit card rendered useless due to extensive use
Says "Please" when demanding a beer
Slob and lacking basic social skills
Explosion
Lacking basic social skills
Mistake
Quasimodo's best friend
Taxing hand position required to reach keys for some computer commands
One step away from stalking
Censor
Acid Rain
Well Off Older Folks
Once scribbled on a bathroom stall
Swiping free photocopies from one's workplace
Over 40, and trying to deny it