When Did You Start Being Afraid?

I was doing a few small updates to an e-book I give to my subscribers today about How to be Successful in Internet Marketing, it’s not one of those …Do this and do that type books it’s more a ..this is the mindset you need to succeed type books. (If you are a subscriber you’ll get a link to the .pdf version , If not you can buy it on amazon).

One of the sections talks about how people are afraid to actually try things.

What puzzles me is when do people start to get scared of failure?

In the book I tell a story about the first …and only airplane I ever built.

It must have taken me 2 months or so to get the bits I needed and it involved a lot of sneaking around building sites when there was no one there. (did I mention I was probably 7 or 8 at the time?)

Anyway I finally got everything I needed to build my plane … mostly long wooden planks and my sisters roller-skates for the undercarriage. I had also built a long ramp and it was ready to go on it’s maiden flight, It couldn’t fail.

I remember I didn’t have a flying helmet so I made one out of an old plastic ball I had… eat your heart out Mcguyver !

I didn’t really learn my lesson as i’ve spent most of my adult life trying to get various motorcycles that I maintained myself around a track. The point is stuff we do is supposed to be dangerous and scary it’s one of the reasons we evolved. What would have happened if our ancestors had decided that rubbing 2 sticks together and making fire was a bad idea because it might cause a few burns?

What would have happened if they looked out of the cave and thought that hunting a mammoth was dangerous so it’s probably not a good idea to do it.

Ok back to reality now.

When was the last time that someone created a mailing list and got horribly injured? When was the last time a Blog went feral and hunted down it’s creator.

Internet marketing isn’t dangerous, it won’t hurt you. You’ll either not achieve anything or you’ll suddenly find you are successful and you can change your lifestyle to one you want. The more you do the more chances you have of being successful

Come on show some of that pioneer spirit , The majority of my readers are from The US , UK and Australia . 150 years ago think what your ancestors were up …traveling across continents looking for new lands and opportunities, making a living with their own hands, being adventurous … what are you planning to do tonight ? Watch the Biggest loser?

So what are you going to do? Sit at home watching TV or take a leap into the unknown?

Stop putting things off , find one thing you are a bit dubious or scared of doing and just do it… Now, … don’t put it off any longer… do it.

20 comments

Marc

Funny how I’ve written a similar blog post about meeting women. Rejection doesn’t kill you. Very interesting parallels. There is also a subtler form of fear called discomfort. We shy away from things we are unfamiliar with and therefore make us uncomfortable. So our IM efforts become half hearted and we skip over those things we’re uncomfortable with, thus weakening our effectiveness as marketers.

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Hi Mark,
The feral blog comment made me chuckle. I now have images of a rampant blog chasing its owner through the forest!
The fear of failure is a tough one though, isn’t it? Even as a beginner, it gets so easy to talk yourself out of doing stuff. For example “there’s no point doing an adsense site, because the next google update will wipe it out” or “nobody ever makes any real money from amazon” or…you get the picture.
Someone smart once said that we regret the things we didn’t do rather than those we did, and this certanly resonates with me.

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Great insight Mark.
This is right on… We come “wired” to keep safe & then we are trained not to take “careless” risks –> we learn that what we don’t know, including what we don’t know how to do, should be avoided or at best approached with extreme caution.
If we fall into this “trap” it can be very difficult to get out of it.

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Really needed this post today, just had something very annoying happen to me in the form of forum marketing! I was feeling a bit down, and even felt like turning off my computer! But then I read this post, and now, I feel like conquering again! It’s nearly time for me to make my first product, and this post has given me the kick I need.

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OK Mark you’ve challenged me and the quickest thing to do is to post right here and now.
Where would we all be if we knew we could not fail and acted accordingly effortlessly making corrections and adjustments to our course of action. Wow, what a thought, but failure has it’s purpose by separating those who really want it and are willing to do what it takes and then block out the voice of doubt that tells us we should just play it safe.
Thanks for the stimulating note.

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Well I’m at the age where I can remember getting quite a beating for taking out the old pram-wheeled cart whilst wearing my brand new shoes. Breaking was as sophisticated as slamming my feet on the front wheels as hard as I could. I burnt two big holes in those shoes so mum was not best pleased.

For some people age and experience brings caution and fear of change or over analysing things.

But for others they just keep on sticking with messing around and experimenting until they find something that works. Key is they do something.

OK, it may not be smart to go out in a soapbox cart with your best gear on, but at least I discovered I really needed to put some better brakes on the thing 🙂

By the way the funny thing about seeing your email in my inbox was that I had only just done a post myself with the final sentence:

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i think this is one of the biggest reasons why most people just give up and dont follow things through. Most people seem to look at the risks more than they do the reward, by having this mindest they are already setting themselves up for failure

another popular one is “i will try this and it prob wont work so when it doesnt i will just go back to what i was doing”

i guess most people do really fear the failure a lot more than others

a couple of years ago i never thought that i would be able to launch a WSO because there was too much technical stuff involved and just too much to think about and do, but only yesterday i did my first WSO and its going well

i never think of the consequences and risks because as you say mark whats the worst thing that can happen

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In this way you do have a point. You cannot get physical damage when your blog fails BUT you can get damaged online and that is what I am wary of. When you write something on the internet its there forever so you can’t get rid of it! I’m always worried that I’ll say something and then regret it a few years later and forget that I wrote it and won’t be able to delete it.Harriet recently posted..Sony Ericsson Xperia X8

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I think most people start to get scared of failure when they start grade school. They’re taught to keep their mouth shut and only speak when the time is right. And it just gets worse as they get older.

We need to act more like my 4 year old. He’ll try anything without worrying about what’s going to happen. Sure, I have to keep an eye on him to make sure that what he’s trying doesn’t involve jumping off the roof or running out into traffic. But I figure as long as there isn’t some kind of mortal danger involved, why not let him try it?

And like you said, there’s not much mortal danger involved in creating a product, recording a video or any of the other things that we do in internet marketing.John Lenaghan recently posted..Be Careful Who You Listen To

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Thanks Mark great post can I qoute you? I really like this “Stop putting things off , find one thing you are a bit dubious or scared of doing and just do it… Now, … don’t put it off any longer… do it”. Hey you forgot to add “NOW!!!!! at the end as well and I mean RIGHT NOW AHHH I really needed that.David recently posted..Hey guys – Got something REALLY cool to share with you today 😉

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Being already in my early 60’s I have live fearlessly and sometimes fearful. but right now I am facing my greatest fears…what if I don’t succeed at helping my son? You see…I am a single older mom still supporting a few children and my son recently got electrocuted by 22,000 volts , He has just recently been released from the burn unit at the hospital after 5 weeks only to find they had to amputate his arm. He was a drummer and a musician. He nor I have not had the means to help him through his recovery. At the moment he has not much hope. It all rests on me to find him a hand and the help he needs. What if I fail? Now more than ever I have to generate massive amounts of capital. I pray that i am able to. I fear that I won’t…This too shall pass.Maggi recently posted..About Promised Hand

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Great post Mark. I have a successful off-line business, and enjoy taking breaks on-line regularly, but am fearful that any real on-line effort will be a waste of time if it’s not successful. How stupid is that? On the discomfort level… I think it has a name – homeostatic impulse? We tend to want to get comfortable and stay there.Kent Faver recently posted..Is Ethical Marketing Dead?

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Hi Mark
Great post – I was really involved in it but then when I read your suggestions of Build a list, Create a product, Do a Video and post it on You Tube etc etc I felt the familiar lurch in my stomach as I read the words “Create a product”
This is what I am struggling with at the moment. And for what!
The worst that will happen is that no-one will buy it!
But i must admit that it is the fear of failure that is holding me back.
Your post has given me another nudge forward and I certainly than you for thatDave E Wilkes recently posted..Is The New Performance Sports Drink Coconut Water – Zico Product Review