If you've made it this far, you might as well go a little further! Hands and legs inside the ride at all times, lest they get taken off by the sharp wit or gnawed at by acidic cynical humor. Or, if you get so bored you would rather have a limb taken off, go ahead!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Day 1. Trying this on for size. A day of momentous nudity.

I say momentous nudity because my oldest daughter, Natalee, who is 2, is completely naked right now. My husband is convinced that this is not the way that "normal" people potty train their daughter. Neither is playing Call of Duty: Black Ops and complaining about diaper changes! So I have taken on a few tasks lately. One of which: this blog. Let's see if I stick to it... Another task, obviously the potty training, but we'll touch on that again in a minute. Bad choice of words. I'm not a creeper, and we're not touching on anything. Anyway, task numero tres: cloth diapering. Yep, I said it. Some of you may be laughing, scoffing, or have gone to the bathroom for a pee break, but it's true. I am going to do it, and I am excited. It started with Juliette, who will be 6 months on the 7th, having very sensitive skin. No surprise there considering all the skin conditions Natalee has. I cannot use store-bought wipes. She still gets rashes for no reason, so I figured, let's go the distance. My kickass cousin, Jenny, has been cloth-diapering for awhile now, and I will probably call her a zillion times about it, but at least I have someone to reference! I just bought my very first cloth diaper today! When it comes in, I am most concerned about testing it to see if the PUL is irritating to Juliette's skin. PUL is the waterproof outer shell on the diaper. I am still ridiculously excited to be cloth-diapering. I really hope it works out, and it will save so much money in the long run! I was blown away by all the choices there are and abbreviations and stuff. I swear, it's like the Army or something. You almost need to go through a school and an initiation to understand the language! To be honest, I never thought I would cloth diaper. I thought it was gross, and I didn't have the stomach for it. But now that I'm looking into it, I realize that it's basically the same as disposables. I mean, when one of the girls wets through their diaper onto their sheets, I don't flip out and throw the sheets away, I wash them. Same concept. I hope. :) Wish me luck- I am journeying into a new world with this. One in which I could get carried away and spend lots and lots of money and not once feel fat while doing so! :) Onto the task(pain in the ass) of potty training! Today I decided, "no more excuses, we are making the potty our bitch!" Well I started by setting a timer on my phone and making Natalee sit on the potty for 10 minutes every time the timer went off. Not only did she pee in between alarms, she would sit on the potty and complain until 10 minutes was up, then she would get off the potty and pee down her leg. Fantastic. NEXT UP- Dora Panties. I said "Natalee, these are big girl panties and they have Dora on them. If you tee tee on Dora, it will make her sad." She repeated me and said she didn't want to make Dora sad. I just knew it was a win. Wrong-o. Later she said, "I gotta sit on the potty!" But it was too late. So we tried different Dora panties. Wet again. She went naked for a couple hours-all the while never even going- and then asked for more panties. I took deep breath and got her a pair. Immediately she went in them. As it turns out, she thought she needed something on her butt so she could go. So then I tell her that tee tee goes in the potty and not in diapers or panties. An hour or so later she is playing in her room and I ask her if she needs to go. She says "No, okay!" She then runs to the potty and goes!! We danced and gave high fives, even pounded knuckles. Then she got a ice creamcicle thing. You know what I'm talking about. She sat on the potty the whole time she ate that thing. She has yet to go again. But first pee down. I consider it progress. Jonathan is uber freaked out that she is running around naked. He keeps covering her up and won't let her anywhere near him. I'm like "Dude, it's natural. You like to be naked, she likes to be naked, most people that don't hate themselves like to be naked." He's not buying it. He keeps telling me to put clothes on her. When she stops peeing on them, I will! It's really pretty humorous how much distance he puts in between them. It totally grosses him out. Oh yea. One more task I am taking on.(by the way, every time I say task, I imagine a nice chiming-tinkly sound like in those books when you were a kid that use to come on tape and read with you and when it was time to turn the page they made a special noise. yep that noise.) Don't laugh at me, because if you know me, you know I am never happy with me, but I recently found out I have put on 20 whole pounds since Jonathan came home from Iraq. InOctober!! So, I would really love to lose 30-40 pounds by Juliette's 1st birthday. Which is July 7, for those of you that don't know. Big task, but I gotta do it. I can't handle this any more. I feel like friggin Oprah. Fat, skinny, fat, thick, fat, thin, WOAH THATS A BIG BITCH.... I would like to at least continue the cycle to "fit" I don't have to be tiny. I know I have thick hips. I know I've always had bigger legs, no biggie. But my arms should look like arms and the sight of my belly should not induce dry heaves. I have the whole Zumba set and 3 different Jillian Michael's DVDs, so we will see how that goes. Scoff inside your head if you must. So I know this has been like the longest blog ever, but it's the first one, and there was a lot of things I wanted to go over. Hopefully every day will be just as random as my jumbly, squishy, tasty-to-zombies brain. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, now go get some visine for your poor, poor eyeballs!

***Disclaimer, no naked children were actually "touched on" in the making of this blog. It's a form of speech. A very ill-fitting one. :)

Natalee sounds just like Cami. I tried the nakey time, the no peeing in her underwear...nothing worked. In Feb she will be 3. I'm hoping that she'll potty train sometime in the next 3 months or I'll lose it. Matthew did it on his own 2 months after he turned 3...so I'm not forcing Cami.