Wednesday, December 1, 2010

On the Pleasures of Living in a Polite Society

If you are not a longtime resident of our languid, sultry city, you may not be aware of the recent difficulties besetting the men and women in blue who protect and serve. The top brass of the New Orleans Police Department, like mamas immemorial, are assiduously applying raw beefsteak to the blackened eyes belonging to some members of its force as that force embarks upon a new politically-correct public relations campaign.

Why, you can even friend the NOPD on Facebook nowadays, although I personally would not recommend such a course of action. You don't need them knowing who you are.

I myself am perfectly satisfied receiving the occasional email update concerning the rare altercation between friends or the sporadic transfer of possessions from one person to another in the dead of night or the untimely demise of a tourist or two who foolishly chose to venture round the corner of the wrong street in the French Quarter early, early on a Sunday morning.

Just today, I received one such update that perfectly illustrates the new direction being taken by the department, its embrace of civility and politesse. May I share it with you? Thank you. I will. It went like this:

On Tuesday, November 30, 2010 at about 10:40 AM Detective Gerald lee, unit 1533, of the fifth district, had an occasion to investigate an Aggravated Battery, in the 2600 block of
N. Galvez St

Upon arrival detective Lee met with the victim who stated that at about 9;05 am on the date stated his girlfriend Apiffany Kinnard who have a son for him, arrived at his residence in the 2600 block of N. Galvez St. The victim and his girlfriend became involved in a verbal altercation, at which time his girlfriend struck him with her vehicle as he attempted to cross
N. Miro Street
.EMS was refused.

ARRESTED:

Kinnard, Apiffany

B/F 4-23-88

Makes you want to retire to the veranda with your brandy and palmetto, does it not?