Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Over the past couple of years I feel like God has been asking me the question,

"Do you trust me."

And every time my initial response is "Yes. Of course I do."

But the Lord knows my heart.

Even more than I do.And He cares about my heart and my holiness like any good Father would.

And so He graciously.tenderly.lovingly

reveals to me the parts of my heart that don't fully trust.

And then He shows me

over and over and over and over again

that He is good and perfect and holy

and sovereign and all powerful

and full of love for me.

And that He is trustworthy.

He is faithful.

His plans are bigger than mine.

This week has just been another reminder of all of that.

And another sweet time of the Lord ministering to me.

It's so crazy (and awesome) that during the hardest times I always feel the most loved by the Lord.

Like He goes out of His way to let me know that I am His and that He loves me.

But then again I shouldn't be surprised.

Because that's exactly the kind of God I know Him to be.

Wesley had his surgery today.

He was such a big, brave boy!

When they went into the wound they said it was very infected because...

this giant piece of a stick was still in his cheek!

It gives me the heebe jeebees just thinking about it.

I still haven't seen what the incision looks like under his big bandage but hopefully now that the stick is out things will be getting better.

for real this time.

I was supposed to hear the results from the CT scan early this morning but after waiting and waiting and pestering the nurses at my doctor's offices a bunch of times I heard nothing.

I'm pretty sure it was part of God's whole I have a work that needs to be done in Kristin's heart that can't be accomplished any other way plan.

But after spending lots of time meditating on Psalm 62 and being sure that I was going to hear horrible news from the doctor (why else would he be waiting sooooo long to get back to me) I finally got the results.

And praise God the CT scan showed NO tumors!!

Such an answer to prayer!

I'm still waiting on a million other results from the blood work and to hear the details from the CT scan but I'm definitely thankful for the great news we have had today.

And am praising the Lord for his goodness and grace!

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and love and support!!

I have been blown away by everyones concern and we have been spoiled with lots of yummy food and help from family and friends.

Monday, March 26, 2012

But I want to document everything because I know as I look back it will probably all be a blur and I want to remember God's faithfulness and sovereignty through it all.

Here goes...

For the past 6 months I have been having random allergic reactions.

I feel totally fine and then all of a sudden an attack comes on.

It always starts with swelling and itching in my inner ear

and then next thing I know it my whole body is bright red and covered in raised welts/hives that are very itchy.

Then I take a Claritin...wait a couple hours and am fine.

Well a couple of months ago a few new symptoms arose.

Along with the redness/hives I was also vomiting and having flu like symptoms.

But within a couple of hours, after I took the Claritin I was feeling better.

After the new symptoms started arising I knew things were getting worse and I needed to find out what was going on so my primary doctor referred me to an allergist.

The allergist did a skin test to see if I was allergic to anything and nothing really came up (just mildly allergic to dust mites and horses).

The allergist told me that hives can also be a symptom of an underlying medical condition so he ordered some blood work to rule out a bunch of other things out.

He also had me start taking Claritin and Zyrtec once a day to hopefully prevent another attack from happening.

The blood work came back with a positive ANA which usually indicates some kind of autoimmune disorder.

So the allergist referred me to a rheumatologist (which I have been waiting until today to see...the earliest appointment was a month away).

Then yesterday as I was at our house with Aaron, my brother, and his fiance (and the kids were down for their nap) my inner ears started to itch and swell and I could feel another attack coming on.

I told Aaron and he told me to call the doctor to see what I could take (since I had already taken a Claritin that morning and clearly it was not working).

Before I could even call the doctor I was vomiting and laying on the ground unable to move.

Next thing I knew Aaron was yelling my name asking if I knew what was going on.

Apparently I had passed out and was completely unconscious.

Aaron picked me up, laid me on the bed and called 911.

Just as he was giving the 911 lady our address to have an ambulance come to the house I told Aaron to just take me to the hospital.

So he picked me up (I still was totally out of it and couldn't walk) put me in the car and we headed to the ER.

As we were driving to the ER I was still out of it.

My vision was very blurry, I had severe cramps in my thighs and stomach, was bright red over my whole body, shaking violently (like my whole body was shivering) and still very nauseous.

As soon as we got to the ER I was taken back.

By this time I was having diarrhea, all of my fingers were purple and I was still having all of the symptoms above.

At the ER they hooked me up to a bunch of monitors, gave me fluids, steroids and Benadryl, took some blood tests, and a bunch of other stuff.

It took about 1 1/2-2 hours before I felt well enough to even talk but slowly I started feeling better and getting less red.

After about 4 hours I was feeling much better and we were just waiting for my blood work to come back.

Finally it came back and everything was totally normal.

But obviously everything was not normal because that stuff does not happen to normal people.

So they sent me home knowing that I was supposed to be seeing the rheumatologist the next day (which was my scheduled appointment this whole time).

So today I went to see the Rheumatologist.

He hears my whole history of attacks including yesterdays events, looks at all of my labs, asks me a million questions and tells me he has no idea what I have :)

But that it sounds very serious and it is clearly getting worse.

He had a couple of hunches as to what it might be (all of which are very scary).

He ordered an urgent CT scan which I will hopefully get by Wednesday (just waiting for authorization from insurance) as well as a TON of blood work to test for every autoimmune disease as well as a bunch of other stuff.

So that's the scoop.

For now we wait and pray and trust the Lord.

I'm so thankful that He is in control of all things.

And that He is so so good.

At the ER.

Aaron brings out his camera and I give him the you better not be planning to take a picture of me right now look and then he tells me, "Babe, you will want it for your blog." He was right.

Kind of hard to tell from the picture but that is my very red hand and purple fingers (next to the doctors hand for comparison).

She told us to take this picture for the records.

The rheumatologist sent me straight to the lab to get the blood work after my appointment.

When I sit down to get my blood drawn the tech tells me, "Wow! I don't think I've ever seen someone get tested for so many things. What's wrong with you?"

Thanks lady.

Hopefully they will be able to find out some answers with those 10 vials full of blood!

After all of my appointments today I picked up the kids (who were with my parents) and stopped by the grocery store to get some food since the fridge was e.m.p.t.y.

Just as I was heading towards the front of the grocery store to check out (with a cart full of food) the electricity in the whole store goes out.

I just laugh to myself and think of course this is happening.

I call Aaron to tell him about the blackout and he tells me that one of our friends from our community group had just called to tell him that they were bringing dinner (and groceries) to our house.

Of course they were.

The Lord had it all worked out before I even knew there was a problem.

Because he's God and all knowing and cool like that.

He is so gracious to give me such a tangible reminder of his grace and love and provision at the exact time that I need it.

So even though I'm scared and left without answers I know the One who's in charge of it all, who knows all the answers and loves me more than I could ever imagine.
What a good place to be.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I think working at Disneyland being a face painter would be the coolest job ever.

Being at the happiest place on earth, getting paid to be creative and have fun...and getting free into Disneyland! Sounds like a win win to me. Aaron didn't go for it.

Maybe when the kids are older :)

But in the meantime I'm practicing my face painting skills as a face painter for an Easter Egg hunt our church community group is hosting in our city.

The person in charge of the hunt asked if I could pre paint some designs so the kids can see the pictures and have something to choose from the day of.

My kids (and a friend) were more than willing to help.

If you are in the area and looking for something fun on Saturday, April 7th from 10:00-1:00 stop by Flo Jo Park in Mission Viejo for an Easter egg hunt, awesome face painting :), food, bounce houses, and more! Oh and it's totally FREE!