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Making Love (:) A Habit

These people. They are all in front of me. IN MY WAY to buying my arugula, chickpeas, and blueberries. When I am waiting in line, every once in a while, usually when I feel rushed, I slip into this old habitual pattern of thinking where I identify people as obstacles. This pattern ultimately makes me feel unhappy and probably subtlely or overtly affects those around me. This same pattern can easily emerge in traffic or also on a crowded sidewalk or on a metro escalator where there are people standing on the left (!). This used to be normal for me until I recognized it as a habit and it started to shift.

Somewhat unconsciously, probably on a yoga high years ago, I saw that I could make it a habit to love in this sort of circumstance. Although I probably wouldn’t have articulated it this way, if we look at it from the perspective of habit changing science, we can understand the old pattern like this:

Trigger: Waiting in Line

Habit: Feeling like these people are in my way

Outcome: Feeling separate, isolated, and even more impatient

Then we can understand the new pattern that I started to shift into like this:

Trigger: Waiting in line, starting to feel impatient

Habit: Noticing that I am feeling impatient and then noticing we are all sharing the experience, choosing to love the people in front of me

Outcome: Enjoying my time in line

The overall outcome of this change: Enjoying our deep interconnectedness, behaving more benevolently towards others, and enjoying more moments of life. Shifting from isolation to love.

These people. We are SHARING EXPERIENCE. We are INTERCONNECTED. Whether we know it or not.