Hi Denis,
Thank you for your prompt response!
Actually I screwed up on Ms Kaseem and had to roll back the changes. I
think your suggestion to change "deaf and became blind" for "blind and
became deaf" may be the best approach to resolve the issue but I would
like to discuss with EOWG first.
Note: Ms Kaseem she is deaf-blind, so has no other option but to learn
braille. Anyway, I agree that it needs clarification...
Best,
Shadi
On 8.4.2011 11:26, Denis Boudreau wrote:
> Morning Shadi,
>
> Excellent. I feel these are all appropriate changes.
>
> /Denis
>
>
> On 2011-04-08, at 11:18 AM, Shadi Abou-Zahra wrote:
>
>> Hi Shawn,
>>
>> Ref:<http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/PWD-Use-Web/2009/stories>
>>
>> I've made changes to stories to address your and Denis' comments. The changes are highlighted and we will discuss each during EOWG calls.
>>
>> Best,
>> Shadi
>>
>>
>> On 8.4.2011 00:41, Shawn Henry wrote:
>>> Hi Shadi,
>>>
>>> Stories page is really good! Below are some content (as opposed to
>>> copyedit) points. Feel free to send any of it to the EOWG mailing list
>>> for discussion.
>>>
>>> Best,
>>> ~Shawn
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. Mr. Lee
>>>
>>> "Mr. Lee bookmarked a series of online shopping sites where he could get
>>> reliable information on product colors or where he could override the
>>> colors, and not have to guess at which items were discounted."
>>> I don't understanding how overriding the colours would make him not have
>>> to guess what items are discounted. Are you suggesting that he changes
>>> the colours of the styles that indicate discounted for all the websites
>>> he uses? That doesn't seem reasonable.
>>> Maybe it's just a grammar thing. Does this work for what you want to
>>> say?: [[Mr. Lee bookmarks the online shopping sites that list the
>>> product colors, that let him override text and background colors so he
>>> can make the pages easier to read, and that clearly indicate things like
>>> discounted items.]]
>>>
>>> 2. Mr Jones
>>>
>>> 2.1. "some websites have forms and controls that do not have keyboard
>>> equivalents."
>>> I'm afraid that people might read this and think that every form field
>>> and control should have an access key. Also, "keyboard equivalents" is
>>> not explained here or on the other pages.
>>>
>>> 2.2. "In order for Mr. Jones to continue working with the publisher, web
>>> developers built customized work-arounds into the CMS to add some of the
>>> keyboard support that was initially missing. It is not an optimal
>>> solution and only works for some of the functions, but the publisher
>>> intends to upgrade the CMS to one with full keyboard support, especially
>>> since other employees found that keyboard support was easier on their
>>> hands."
>>> When I read the first sentence, I was concerned that this recommended
>>> doing work-arounds instead of fixing the CMS, and made it sound like
>>> there was a lot of accommodation required by the organization's web
>>> developers. Later in the paragraph I see that you've said the CMS should
>>> have done it. But I think the ideas are too separated for some readers
>>> to catch. I think that needs to be made more clear; that is, that the
>>> extra work was required because the CMS was bad, and a good CMS would
>>> not have the problem.
>>>
>>> 3. Ms. Martinez
>>>
>>> "They also found they can provide captions in other languages to support
>>> international students, students who could not download or play the
>>> audio, and many more."
>>> The "many more" tripped me up. Sentence needs editing to clarify... and
>>> reconsider if it really did help many more.
>>>
>>> 4. Ms. Laitinen
>>>
>>> 4.1. "To use her computer and the Web, Ms. Laitinen uses:
>>> * Screen reader software that interprets what is displayed on the screen
>>> and generates speech output
>>> * Web browser with keyboard support to help use websites without a mouse"
>>> Does she use keyboard support other than that provided by screen reader?
>>> Do some (common) browsers not provide the keyboard support that she uses?
>>>
>>> 4.1. "It was a challenge to find a solution that was accessible to her
>>> and to other employees with disabilities, but it proved to be beneficial
>>> for many of the staff."
>>> Do we need to say why it benefited other staff?
>>>
>>> 5. Ms. Olsen
>>>
>>> "She set her web browser to freeze or hide animated graphics so that she
>>> can focus on the relevant information but that does not always work on
>>> every website."
>>> Do common browsers have such settings? Do we want to say why it works on
>>> some websites and not others, or is that on another page?
>>>
>>> 6. Mr. Yunus
>>>
>>> "Another barrier that he encounters is CAPTCHA images that he finds on
>>> several social networking websites. These distorted images of text are
>>> intended to tell computers and humans apart, but Mr. Yunus cannot read
>>> the small and distorted text, even if he enlarges the image."
>>> Does "These distorted images of text are intended to tell computers and
>>> humans apart," add unnecessary complexity? Or does the explanation help
>>> here?
>>>
>>> 7. Mr. Sands
>>>
>>> 7.1 "Mr. Sands has put groceries in bags for customers for the past year
>>> at a supermarket."
>>> This sentence is quite awkward. I would say "Mr. Sand bags groceries..."
>>> or "Mr. Sands works as a grocery bagger..." or "Mr. Sands has a job
>>> bagging groceries..." Are any of these understandable to people in
>>> different countries and non-native speakers?
>>> Maybe: [[Mr. Sands has a job bagging groceries for customers at a
>>> supermarket near his house.]] I'm not sure if the "for the past year" is
>>> important. "near his house" is good because then he doesn't have to use
>>> transportation and can carry groceries home easily.
>>>
>>> 7.2. "He found that he could use the website without much difficulty
>>> because the items were clearly indicated, the information and
>>> instructions were formulated in simple language that is easy to
>>> understand, and the navigation was consistent and easy to use."
>>> I can't think what you mean by "the items were clearly indicated"?
>>>
>>> 8. Ms. Kaseem
>>>
>>> 8.1 "She is deaf and recently became legally blind too... ...braille
>>> device"
>>> It seems this would be stronger if she was born with visually disability
>>> (maybe progressive) and later becomes deaf. If she *recently* became
>>> blind, she wouldn't know braille yet.
>>>
>>> "She is deaf and recently became legally blind too, but she can see
>>> small portions of a screen."
>>> This needs more explanation. Maybe should be both more broad about her
>>> condition and more detailed about how it impacts web use.
>>>
>>> ###
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>> --
>> Shadi Abou-Zahra - http://www.w3.org/People/shadi/ |
>> WAI International Program Office Activity Lead |
>> W3C Evaluation& Repair Tools Working Group Chair |
>
>
--
Shadi Abou-Zahra - http://www.w3.org/People/shadi/ |
WAI International Program Office Activity Lead |
W3C Evaluation & Repair Tools Working Group Chair |