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A Modest Proposal: Give Me a (Tax) Break

MAYOR GIULIANI, you're brilliant. Like a late-night infomercial host, you have shown me the path to financial freedom. And that path leads to New Jersey.

On Friday, you announced that Reuters, the British media company, would receive a $26 million tax break over 23 years to keep its United States headquarters, and its 1,800 employees, in New York, with the promise the company would add 2,348 more jobs in the future. Why? Because it threatened to move to New Jersey. Reuters isn't the only one. Standard & Poor's, Donaldson, Lufkin & Jenrette and NBC have all received city tax breaks after pining for the Garden State.

Sounds like easy money. It makes you wonder if such a threat could work on a personal level. I am an editor for The New York Times (which got tax incentives for relocating a printing plant within the city), but I live in Connecticut. If I threaten to move to New Jersey, will my state reduce my taxes to get me to stay? I bet not. This is the state whose idea of a tax break was shaving 3 cents off its gasoline tax, the highest in the nation. That should save me $11.70 this year, barely enough for gas to go house-hunting in New Jersey.

But after talking it over with an accountant, I think this strategy is worth a try. It turns out that I, too, am a potent economic force. So I'm putting myself out to bid. Either Connecticut cuts me a tax deal or I'm outta here, off to New Jersey, New York or wherever they understand that people are as valuable as corporations.

This is not an empty threat. My household controls not one, but two jobs. My wife and I pay state income taxes; last year the bill was $10,000. We are homeowners and pay $6,000 in property taxes. Last year we spent tens of thousands of dollars on items subject to Connecticut's 6 percent sales tax. That's another $3,000 in taxes, and who knows how many jobs our spending sprees helped support? We paid $300 in gas taxes. We also pay government fees for our driver's licenses and an annual fee to use the beach. Even the dog has a license.

Just as companies are considered good corporate citizens if they donate time and money to their communities, we also contribute. We help serve at the local soup kitchen, give money to our church and buy all the silly things our children sell for their school.

There are also the intangibles. I cut my grass, bring doughnuts for the kids' soccer teams and use my turn signals when I drive. My well-behaved children lend an aura of good manners to the state. We are fine ambassadors when we travel. ''Such nice people from New Jersey,'' the French, whom we plan to visit, could say. ''We had no idea.'' How do you put a value on that?

Let me try. Like a corporation, I have a future value as a breadwinner for my government. I am 45 and plan to work for the next 20 years. As my income rises, so will my taxes. As my house increases in value, so will its tax assessment. As my four children grow, so will my expenses, and thus the sales taxes I pay. And my children will become consumers, take jobs and, God forbid, own a car someday. And the jackpot will come when it's time for college and we cash in our stocks and 401(k) plans to pay the bills. That will result in such a huge capital gains tax that it will make me weep.

A 20-Year Revenue Stream

Nancy Masten, a state and local tax expert with the accounting firm Ernst & Young, said Connecticut would be foolish to let me go.

Ms. Masten estimates that over the next 20 years, my wife and I will bring almost half a million dollars in revenue to the state we call home. That includes $235,000 in income taxes and $72,000 in sales taxes. Even if the assessments for my house never increase, I will pay $120,000 in property taxes. And, like a corporation that promises future growth, I can promise a revenue stream from my four children, which Ms. Masten said is good for another $90,000. When inflation is factored in, the total value of my family is $1.18 million over the next 20 years.

Ms. Masten says that to stay put, I should ask for a tax break of $500,000, paid out over the first five years of a 20-year contract. Or to keep things simple, I could just ask for $25,000 a year for 20 years.

I can't see how Connecticut can say no. It just recently agreed to give the Zurich Centre Group, an insurance and financial services company that had been in New York, $190 million in tax credits to move its 400 employees to Stamford. That's $475,000 for each worker. I'll give it six workers for $500,000.

We'll see how it goes. I've alerted my family to keep the phone clear so we can field the offers. Already, my 10-year-old is doing the calculations. ''Daddy,'' Marian asked, ''will my allowance go further in New Jersey?''