Nearly 40,000 sad ass motherfuckers have signed a petition demanding that the State of South Carolina remove a memorial to the African American Monument on the South Carolina Statehouse grounds. Why? Because the memorial, which is dedicated to the history of slavery, makes white people feel bad.

The petition was created by a man named Keith Harmon who says his great great great granddaddy fought in the Civil War — which means, of course, that it was a great cause because it is literally impossible for anyone’s ancestors to have ever done anything wrong.

The African American Monument on the South Carolina State House grounds was erected in 2001 as part of a bi-partisan compromise reached in 2000 to move the Confederate battle flag from the State House dome and place it at the Confederate Soldier’s Monument. Given the recent outcry to remove the battle flag from the State House grounds completely, the people of South Carolina view this as a reneging of the 2000 compromise. Therefore, the people of South Carolina implore the South Carolina State Legislature to pass legislation calling for the removal of the African American Monument from the State House grounds. It has been stated that the battle flag must be removed due to it being offensive to the African American community, and invoking upon that community reminders of the dark history of slavery. To the same point, the African American Monument depicts slave ships, mistreatment and words such as “segregation” and “Jim Crow”. This being the case, it is undeniable that this monument can and does serve to invoke in the white community feelings of shame, humiliation and offense, serving as a constant reminder of the dark history of slavery. Therefore, we the people of South Carolina and citizens the world over implore the Legislature of South Carolina to order the removal of this monument from State Grounds.

Jesus Christ. Why do bigots hate paragraph breaks so much?

Sorry Keith, but really, the history of slavery is not about white feelings. That is literally the last thing it is about. No one cares if white people are hurt by reminders that their relatives were jackasses who kept human beings as property, and that this was a bad thing.

In a televised interview, Harmon says that he doesn’t so much want the memorial taken down, as much as he thinks both things should stay up, and thinks its only fair that if one goes, the other should go too.

Graciously, he admits that killing 9 people was the wrong thing to do, but insists that Dylan Roof “misinterpreted” the flag as a symbol of hate– which Harmon explains it could not possibly be, on the grounds that his great, great, great grandfather fought in that war.

Let us talk, for a moment, about why that flag was there in the first place, shall we? Shall we? Would you like that? That flag went up because a bunch of segregationist assholes had their panties in a bunch over the Civil Rights movement. The flag wasn’t even a thing that people were all that into until the Civil Rights movement. It’s resurgence into popular culture was entirely the result of people wanting to assert their opposition to the Civil Rights movement and deep and abiding love for segregation.

That’s what it represents. Not only does it, yes, represent fighting for slavery, it represents a bunch of crybaby white people who were sad about having to share bathrooms with black people. Why that is a thing anyone would insist on celebrating is beyond me.

But hey! Good luck with your petition, Keith Harmon and friends, I’m sure it’s going to be real successful.