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Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I Almost Forgot

When people get older, they are allowed to blame their advanced age on random slips of the memory. Children can get away with it because they’re young and don’t know any better. So what excuse can a not quite middle-aged hottie blogger use when she looks back on her life and realizes that the old adage, “If you head wasn’t screwed on, you’d probably lose it” should be embroidered, framed, and hung around her conveniently attached neck.

Once when I was fourteen, I forgot my incredibly spectacular black purse on a TTC bus. Moron that I am, I didn’t realize it for another 15 minutes at which point I ran to my brother, BBA, in tears begging him to resolve this latest crisis in my life. BBA may have been a pain when I was 16, and he’s probably a bigger pain now but that day he was world’s most awesome brother. We piled into my parents’ 1981 Toyota Celica and chased the bus looking for my purse.

I was lucky that day: a Good Samaritan had handed my purse in to the bus driver and I had an awesome brother who was willing to chase random buses for thirty minutes through suburbia. The following year, proving that I never, ever learn my lesson, I lost my wallet on the bus. About a month or so later I received a package in the mail from another Good Samaritan.

Sadly, my teens were not the end of my stupid, forgetful years. Over the years I have forgotten jackets in restaurants, books on airplanes, and bags at the grocery store after I’ve paid for them.

Last week may have been the pinnacle of my forgetfulness. I was in the library reading various blogs and texting my friend Adelpha at the same time. Each time finished with the phone, I tucked it on the big comfy chair next to me and continued with my reading. At 4:30 p.m. I packed everything and walked leisurely to the bus stop, barely even pausing in front of the McDonald’s before boarding the bus.

Seated comfortably in a window seat, I reached into my purse for my cell phone to call Hubby. It was around this moment that I began hyperventilating. “Oh great freaked frak, I just lost my phone!” I whispered, my voice quivering.

I tore off the bus; terrified my phone was gone – stolen. Then became even more terrified because that meant I would have no way of keeping in touch with Hubby while he was in the UK. Then I realized I would have to tell Hubby I had lost my phone. “Crap!” I started to walk as quickly and with as much dignity as possible back to the library.

On my way, I saw Miss Four to whom I was embarrassingly rude in my quest to find my phone. By the time I reached my seat in the library I realized that the delay of finding my phone meant that I would probably miss my bus on top of everything else. That’s when I saw it sitting there looking all lonely and forlorn. “Thank God!” I said rather loudly. When several people looked at me I showed them the phone and they just smiled in sympathy.

I am fairly certain after all these years that I have a guardian angel whose sole job is to make sure I don’t lose anything important. I keep him employed fulltime and I’m fairly certain that he wants a day or two off from his duties of keeping me in line. I appreciate my Forgetfulness Angel more than you can imagine because I can’t blame age, pregnancy, or even disease on my bad memory. Maybe it’s part of my charm?

19 comments:

I'm so glad you have your Forgetfulness Angel and your cellphone. Recently after finishing my first ever knitting project (a skull scarf) I wore it to the local watering hole for a few margaritas. The next morning i woke up + a hangover - a scarf! Lucky for me our waiter found it and brought it to the hostess desk. I swear I haven't worn it out since.

I am charming in the same way! Such irony. One of my traits that is particularly charming is locking my keys in the car. I am AMAZINGLY charming, and yet not intellectually challenged. Do you ever wonder how that happens?!

When I was young I was so full of pride that I never forgot or lost anything. I was always the honest person who found wallets and purses and drove miles to return them to their rightful owner. Well, with menopause I got thrown off my high horse and I'm forgetful left, right and center. Even forgot twice in one month to go to work my half shift on Wednesday. But now I can officially, like you say, blame it on age!!

Yeah! I'm so glad your phone was there where you left it! My heart just sank when I read about losing your cell!

i've left my phone at gold's more times than i can count. i personally know that they have a little "lost & found" slip that you fill out. completely useless system, i just happen to know where they keep the stuff that's supposed to be in the lost & found. (not in the handy little bin w/ the retrieval slips) just so you know.

Ohhh, I have this guardian angel too. And "he" is super busy with me and sometime he forgets to remind me..... Last week I forgot to turn off my water hose, while "watering" my plants (I was blogging in the meantime), and when I finally remembered the water..... it was all over our driveway (and it´s not paved)! That means dirty tires when you drive over it. So....hubby comes home, has to drive into mud....and is NOT happy! :)

Once upon a time, I was much too terribly organized, far more than my fair share. I think I must have unbalanced the universe. I am working on correcting this error and have been working hard these past few years to set us back in proper orbit... that's my excuse anyway. It might actually have something to do with motherhood, lack of sleep, etc, but cosmic heroics sound more interesting.

Hahhaa....this brings back memories of a recent thing I did. I lost my iPod for about a week, only to find it at the bottom of my purse. The same purse I had been carrying around the whole time. I felt stupid.

Once when I was a girl we went to see Superman and I left my purse in the theater. I had made it myself and I loved it! I never found it and I have always been a little sad about it. I am so glad you found your phone! How scary for you but thank God for a happy ending!

I know I could out do you in things that I have lost and the hell I had to pay but my memory is so bad I have forgotten all about them. But I did once drive an hour out to see a hockey game just to turn around and drive an hour back because I forgot the tickets. Luckily i am someone who always shows up really early so I only really missed a few momments of the game.

Lately I blame it on pregnancy but I am not sure that's even really legit...

Shortly before moving to Rio, on a particularly lousy winter day back in Canada, I managed to leave my lights on and kill my battery in the morning, then in the afternoon after rescue #1... lock my keys in the vehicle...

Everyone was like and you're moving to Rio where you know no one? Good luck...