To ask for a c-section?

Any advice greatly appreciated. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and really do not know what to do. I had a terrible, extremely long labour with dc1 ending in forceps theatre delivery and a third degree tear. My latent phase and second stage lasted an age and I don't feel like I can do it again. I felt like a total failure and I cannot mentally feel that way again. What are the chances of me getting an elective c-section without stress? Please help and give your c-section or second birth stories! Thank you.

YANBU. I can't give any useful advice, having had an EMCS largely due to me insisting, and a semi-ELCS for the sake of the baby. Lots of people here will have been in your position and found a way that worked for them.

The NICE guidelines changed in 2011 so that a woman can choose a CS if she wants one even without clinical justification. If one consultant refuses, you can ask to be referred to another one. Most midwives will try to put you off, ( it is their job to do so, they're not just being cows!) so do your research, be prepared and you'll get what you want without too much fuss. If a CS is what you really want. It is quite a brutal operation with a fair bit of recovery time.

Check out NICE guidance CG132 issued in 2011. You are entitled to request a c section even where there is no clinical indication. Your consultant is required to discuss your concerns but ultimately is required to offer you a c section if you still want one. Where a consultant is not willing to offer a c section they must refer you to another consultant who will.

Make an appt asap with your consultant and take the NICE guidance with you. You may decide after discussion that you are happy to have a vaginal birth but if you are not then they cannot deny you a c section.

I requested a c section for DC2 after a traumatic labour with DC1. It wasn't 'easy' but for me it was infinitely preferable to going through another vaginal birth!

I had an elcs in oct 2012, it was my first preg and I was terrified of giving birth/possible problems/forceps etc. I had to really push for it. Midwifes and 1st consultant pushed me to go for vaginal del at 20 week app however I got to around 30 weeks and begged midwife to refer me again to a consultant which she did. The guidelines have changed and you can defo get an elcs if you choose. I read and researched alot and went armed with the info to see the 2nd consultant. He tried to push me for a vag del as well but I was very determined, he booked my cs date at the end of meeting. I am so glad I had the birth I wanted. Hope this gives you some encouragement as they will defo try to put you off, if you want it... Stay strong and push :-)

I'm sorry you had such a traumatic experience. I really don't think there will be a problem in asking and I think they will accept, especially in light of your history. I've had two c-sections now (albeit emergency) and they've honestly not been that bad and recovery a breeze. Managed to breastfeed them both too if that's another thing you're worried about. Best of luck.

Thank you livingmydream, I'm reading up a lot and it's quite terrifying but I feel it's the best option for me. I'm going to try and be really determined and I definitely think going with the knowledge will help. Thank you.

YANBU to want a cesarean and you should be able to get one without too much trouble as long as you are willing to keep asking until someone agrees. But in your OP you also ask for second birth stories which makes me think that you want to explore the options.

After my first birth, I swore I would never do it again. Long second stage, big baby, tearing, exhaustion, stitches instead of newborn cuddles. But lots of my friends told me their second time success stories and I came round to the idea that I could do it. I knew I wanted an epidural if I were to have another natural delivery and was adamant about it from arrival at hospital. I then had another long second stage, forceps but no pain or exhaustion as I was able to rest.

I would never try to dissuade a woman who had already made up her mind about a c section but if you want to hear options, they are out there.

I hope things go well whatever you decide and that you can make peace with a decision quickly and enjoy your pregnancy.

Also recovery a little painful but manageable and I bf my daughter also. Had csec on wed and released of the friday. 30 weeks not to late to request, as I said thats when I got my requested consultant and date for csec.

I had a c-section with my first DD as I had a 3 day induction which didn't start labour. I was very frightened of labour (which was reinforced when my DD was delivered with a head on the 99th centile!)With my second DD 3 years later I requested a c-section from day one. I wasn't able to get it definitely confirmed by a consultant until about 30 weeks, but I didn't meet with any substantial opposition, and I had no medical reason for requiring one.

Very helpful, thank you. I'm still mentally 'getting over' the birth, so I definitely think this is right choice. Do you think anyone will think I'm less of a mother for not doing it naturally? I've read that some people have. Had really negative responses for choosing c-section.

DS's delivery was awful - two failed epidurals. It just got to the point where I lost all confidence in the delivery team and demanded a CS. They tried to persuade me to having monitoring, ventouse etc but I wasn't letting them anywhere near me to try anything. I was in so much pain that I needed lifting onto the surgical table for the spinal block. If I'd been in less pain, I'd have also insisted on a GA. He had a 10 on his APGAR so it can't have done him that much harm.

If ever there is a next one, I'll be having an elcs. And preferably be in France where it's routine.

If having a planned CS would help you then push for one. It is YOUR pregnancy and YOUR birth experience.

No, 30 weeks is not too late to book a CS. It's not too late until you go into labour!

Having said that, I had a horrific drawn out labour and birth with DS1 & would have opted for a CS with DS2 if I'd been given a choice. I wasn't & ended up having a relatively easy vaginal delivery. With DC3, I was not at all scared of a natural delivery & DD arrived within 15 mins!

One bad experience does not mean you will have another. But if you want a CS by all means push for one.

And everyone is different re recovery. 6 days after my caesarian I was back in heels, and happily out shopping and carrying DSs carseat around. Was out and about 3 days post delivery, although a little sore for the first week.

Third degree tear is often an indication for CS. I don't think you'll have a problem getting one.

However, would you think about some sort of compromise? I only ask because first labours are often very hard. Long, grim labours ending in instruments happen relatively frequently the first time a woman gives birth. However, they rarely happen the second time. We frequently have women delivering in the car park/lift etc as their first labour was so long they assumed they would have plenty of time to get in! Pretty much every day at work I deliver a second time mum who SHINES with amazement and happiness that her second labour was so quick and easy compared to her first. And of course you have the benefits of a quicker recovery, less risk to you etc.

One of our consultants compares first births to an investment. They are hard and long. The payback, the benefit of going through a hard long labour is that the second one is quick and easy. By opting for a section, she says, you lose the benefit and payback of that first experience.

An option could be a labour with a low threshold for intervention... So if you are having a long latent phase, you abandon the attempt and have a section. Epidural on request as soon as possible. Short pushing stage, say 30 minutes and if baby not delivered or delivering imminently then section. That sort of thing. Truly, it's likely you will have a quick and easy delivery this time, so maybe preserve that chance with a detailed birth plan written with consultant and the supervisor of midwives that you revert to section as soon it looks like not being quick and easy?

Just something to think about. Best of luck with it all and I hope you get the delivery you want x

Cs recovery can be long - with dd I couldn't stand up straight for 9 weeks. This was a crash emcs after abandoned vbac though. Ds was a normal emcs. Still 4 weeks recovery. Recovery time may be something to think about if you have older children.

Sorry one last thing. Do not say you think you want a csec. Tell them you want a csec. If they think you have any doubt then they will push you to reconsider a vag del. Rigbyroo I agree re the information available on net is scary, I looked into both vag and csec and I was terrified that soo many women had to have forceps/cut etc that I wasnt willing to take the risk with a natural birth. That will sound crazy to some, but it was the right thing to do for me.