If you paid attention to all of the spam mail you got, you would think that the inability to get an erection is the most catastrophic part of getting older. While age is catching up to me I am not seeking out Viagra or Cialis just yet to be able to keep up (no pun intended). However, the rest of my body is not always up to the task. I recently had my back go out. BAM! Body shut down. But not girlfriend shut down, she still had her engines running. Going to great lengths to make sure that I was comfortable and fully taken care of, I was truly the king of the castle.

As I lay in bed watching her, talking with her and listening to her stories that make me laugh, my desire to touch her and to have her touch me grew. What could I do when I could barely move? How could I find a way to keep her sexual engine in high gear while I was out of action? Toys!!

As she ran around trying to get me comfortable, get me some Advil, get me something to eat, all I could think about was how to give her something back. I reached into a special basket that she kept under the bed and hearing her footsteps grabbed something and moved as quickly as a cripple could to get under the covers. She arrived back with water and pain meds and as always a smile. I just smiled and took my medicine and she hopped onto the bed and snuggled up next to me under the covers.

I got myself into a position where I could use my arms and hands and started to caress her, kissing her and thanking her for taking care of me. Instantly her body responded to my touch. I slid my hands to her legs and she shimmied her sweatpants down. She must have thought that I made a miraculous recovery. Sadly not. From under the covers I pulled out the toy I had grabbed from the basket. She smiled wryly. It was an odd shaped vibrator, a handle on it that was perpendicular to the vibrator. This LOVE HANDLE was going to be extremely useful to me in my condition.

There was no need for discussion; her eyes told me all that I needed to know. Her legs confirmed where that toy needed to be. Her mouth motioned but no words came out. I played with her more. My touch changed and my hand wandered further. I knew where her pleasure points were and with my fingers tuning her engine she draped one of her legs over one of my useless legs. She enjoyed the touch of my hand yet still said nothing. She did not need to; her blue eyes spoke to me and commanded me. I grabbed the handle and pressed it against her and turned on the vibrator. It entered her and she arched her back slightly taking it in. The handle made it easy for me to manipulate so that it could work the magic. Increasing and decreasing the speed periodically, she slowly became more and more satisfied. Her eyes now told me not to stop or even slow down. She stared at me with her eyes fully open and slightly rolled back. She pressed my hand and the handle and helped me to move it. I could see her need growing and then with one last thrust and she exploded. Her body melted and she lay motionless. Eventually she moved again and curled up next to me she kissed me on the neck. She was smiling but said nothing. Her eyes were closed as she draped her arm and leg on me she breathed a few deep sweet breaths and snuggled closer to take a nap.

Having your body shut down is not fun. That does not mean that fun has to go out of the relationship. She slept now, and I knew she was satisfied and I was fulfilled in having satisfied my partner, giving her the attention she deserved after being so attentive to me.

This is a story of inclusion. The inclusion of a small and simple device that increased satisfaction in many different physical feelings but also in the emotional connection between my girlfriend and myself.

My relationship with my girlfriend is growing, exciting and keeps me full of life. This includes an active and fulfilling sexual relationship, one that is mutually respectful. We explore each other with every intention of finding new ways to bring each other to the heights of pleasure. While the exploration is reciprocated, typically it involves one of us spending time adoring the others body. While participatory all the time, there are plenty of selfish moments of ecstasy. She will turn her attention to lightly touching me. Starting with caressing my chest she lets her intentions known that she wants to provide me special attention. Her caressing continues over my body, finding those points that she already knows will begin my arousal. She nurtures those spots and treats them as if they have never been touched. From that point on she will adventure out to different points using all her skills with hands, lips and tongue.

No matter who initiates, the other will typically respond. I take special care to take my time insuring that she understands that the experience includes the emotions that are growing between us. Kissing her and appropriately touching her body with every intention of slowly bringing her writhing and twisting tension to a physical explosion. This takes time and care. We cherish our time together, but busy schedules sometime preclude us from spending as much time as we would like. Sometimes we do not have time to conduct the investigations and explorations that we would like.

I was surprised one night when after arousing and entering my girlfriend and what I thought was damn near bringing her to orgasm she stopped me. Had I done something wrong? Was there something that I had forgotten? “I have something that I want to do”, she said. “I want you to wear this” she said as she pulled out a vibrating cock ring from under the pillow.

I had many thoughts at that very moment, the first being, what was this thing? I read the package. “Promotes longer lasting erections”. What does that mean? What message is she sending? She smiled and giggled and pulled out of the package and quickly turned on the vibrator, giggling more as it jumped out of her hand. “Put it on” she said. “Will you put it on? Oh, never mind, I will put it on for you” as she grabbed it off the bed.

As I lay on my back she slid the ring all the way down my cock. She made putting it on my fully erect cock a fun experience. While I found the experience exciting, I also felt self conscious. Why was this necessary? Was I not pleasing her enough? She turned on the vibrator and now the tight feeling at the base of my cock began to pulse. “How is that?” she said to me. It felt different, intimidating and at the same time stimulating. “Or, what about this?” as she turned the vibrator around to the other side of my shaft. It all felt fantastic and new and still intimidating. Where was this going I thought to myself?

I quickly found out. After her second question she straddled me and reinserted my eager cock into her. She lowered herself down onto the vibrator at the base of my cock. She had taken all of me into her and said not a word. Silence was not unusual between us but I did not know how to proceed. What did she want? Why was this thing involved in our love making?

Then, her smile came back. A smile that drives me. She said nothing. She moved. She moved and then stopped. Grinding and then sliding. Then her first words, “This thing is fantastic.” What? I wasn’t fantastic? My ego for unknown reasons felt wanting. I had two choices. I could pull out or I could show her that her new “fantastic” needed me in order to be fantastic.

I thrust upwards pinning the vibrator against her clit. I pulled back just as fast. I was going back to our roots of being together where I felt I needed to be in control. I wanted her to know that I was completely capable of bringing her to orgasm. Her eyes were wide open staring at me as I teased her clit with my thrusts. Nothing was said. Her eyes said it all. I realized then by looking into her eyes that she had included this toy to please me. Her eyes let me know that it was ok. This toy was only there because I was there.

The cock ring increased both our stimulation and as the package indicated kept me harder longer. Our love making continued for a longer time than normal. I could feel her body more deeply. I could feel her pulsating. I could feel her wetness flowing as her clit continued to be teased in a way that I could not have done on my own. I was satisfied in a way that I had never been satisfied before. Vibrating the base of my cock continually I could not hold back and I came. We were both extremely satisfied. I looked into her eyes as we lay there recuperating. She smiled and said nothing. She did not need to say anything.

When we started I was unsure of the “why” of a cock ring. I understood when we were finished. It was about “me and her” being together. It was not included in the “me and her” to make me more pleasing to her. It was included to bring us closer. I felt lifted in our trust for our emotional feelings. When we were lying next to each other the toy did not exist. In the end I don’t even know what became of it that night.
So, in the end this story is about inclusion, the inclusion of a toy. The inclusion of something that ultimately brought me closer to my girlfriend, opened up additional possibilities and made me realize that the fun was about the two of us and exploring how we feel and growing those feelings. A toy, any toy just might be a great inclusion into your world to help you find out that it is about you and your partner.

We have a Go Back to Bed fan who felt really strongly about a subject matter and asked if she could write about it on our page. We welcome your comments and submissions, so keep them coming…tee hee hee

Sometimes I see something or read something that really rubs me the wrong way. Not in a sexual way, well in this case I guess it is in a sexual way.

On this particular afternoon as I’m sitting at my computer, this “something” happens to be a cutesy little poster on facebook about how women have to be coaxed into giving their man a good ol’ BJ. Yep, that proverbial gold mine for men. You know; blow the horn, smoke the pole, talk on the bone-a-phone, oralgamie. Is there really a breed of women that doesn’t enjoy this act? And if that’s the case, what exactly is the reason or reasons?

I can say that personally I’ve been in relationships where the guy isn’t too in tune with a woman’s needs. That’s my polite way of saying that he really doesn’t care a flying fuck if his mate gets off, he’s in it all for himself. And 3 minutes later (if you’re lucky) he’s done and happy. And in those cases, I do understand the hesitation. But most men really do care that their women are satisfied, don’t they? And when that’s the case, what is more arousing for a woman than giving immense pleasure to her partner? And yaffling the yogurt cannon is truly pleasurable for the vast majority of men that I’ve met. Listening to them talk, you’d think they’d rather have that than sit front row center at their favorite ball game. And it’s hard to imagine a woman that doesn’t get incredibly aroused when her man is really enjoying her talents. That low, groaning noise a man makes when the pleasure is so great he can’t even form words? That’s the best aphrodisiac a woman can experience.

So if it’s not a selfish mate, what is it? Do you somehow think it’s unladylike or dirty? Well ladies, if that’s the case, it’s time to break out of your old-fashioned habits and have some amazing fun with your man! If you’ve never done it before and you’re afraid of making a mistake, trust me, go slow and have fun and you’ll do fine. Ask your man if you can give it a try. I have a very strong feeling he will not say “NO”. But ladies, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT miss out on this lovely bit of fun. Once you hear your man moan, you will get just as much pleasure from it as he will!

So women, it’s time! Time to break out of those old-fashioned ways. Next time your man rolls over to give you a kiss in bed, roll him over on his back, kiss him on the lips and then work your way down. By the time you get to his lower abdomen he should be in heaven and you’ll be excited beyond belief. Have some fun with sex today, start right now in fact! Sex isn’t a chore, it’s a gift. And it gets better every time you get it!

Oh, and if you’ve got a selfish partner, dump his ass and find yourself a man who is willing to give and to GET the most pleasure from sex.

I was having a chat with a friend this weekend about teenagers and sex.

Her: “Do you think that your kids are sexually active yet?”

Me: “No”

Her: “Really? Are you certain”

Me: “YES I AM POSITIVE NOW SHUT THE HELL UP”

This got me thinking about my first time…a long long long long time ago and how much fun all that teenage foreplay was.

Do you remember the way it was before you actually went all the way? The exquisite torture of letting him go a bit further each time? The first time you ever felt his tongue in your mouth? The first time he touched you over your shirt? Then under the shirt but over the bra? Then when you finally took them both off? Ta Da! That was enough to keep you both entertained for hours.

And then he touched you between your legs. With your jeans still on. And he lay on top of you, and you could feel his hardness. And you would rub up against each other in an intoxicating and frustrating simulation of the real thing.

Eventually he would unbutton your jeans. Maybe you would tell him that it wasn’t fair for you to get undressed if he wasn’t. Amazingly that wasn’t a problem for him, and before you had time to think about the consequences of a statement like that, he was suddenly in front of you with only a pair of underwear on.

Then he would finish unzipping your jeans, and maybe slide his finger across your panties along the way. That felt so amazing that you helped him slip your jeans off in the hopes that it might happen again. And then all that separated you were the thinnest slips of fabric.

He would lie on top of you and grind against you and it was the most heavenly thing you’ve ever felt. He’s licking you and you feel his hand massaging you “down there”. He’s tentative at first, but as you breathe a bit faster and don’t push his hand away, he gains more confidence.

This too could go on for hours but chances were that once you’d hit that stage, it’s was not likely that either of you were going to last much longer. Maybe it wouldn’t happen that night. But it would happen and soon.

The next time the clothes slip off more easily. You’ve done it once, so why be hesitant now? He’s on a mission but you want to insist that your panties stay on. But that bastard slides his finger up the side of your legs and you gasp with shock at this new development. And now you’re curious about him. If he can make you feel this good shouldn’t you be returning the favor?

You slip your hand into his briefs and are shocked at how hard IT is. And the fact that it’s also wet. And IT seems so insistent and demanding somehow. A little bit scary, but in a hot dangerous kind of way.

You rub IT up and down a bit and as he moans and breathes faster you realize that you must be doing something right. It’s hard to concentrate though, because of what he’s doing to you. You inadvertently squeeze the shaft a few times in an involuntary reaction to your own pleasure. He doesn’t mind. For a while this sort of stimulation is enough. Maybe it’ll carry you through a few more nights.

Next time he gets bolder. He wants to “make love” and he knows that if he can just get you both naked it’ll happen. BAM! The next time you are together he strips down. You can see him. And touch him. And you decide to taste him. Again tentative, but as he moans and buckles beneath you, there is a certain brilliance in the power that you feel.

Magnanimously he says he wants to make you cum, so he slips off your panties. Now you’re both kissing and gasping and his hands are everywhere. He lies on top of you and by now you’re in the habit of grinding. But this time there is nothing to prevent the inevitable. You’re both wet and slippery and not thinking about anything except each new sensation.

That’s the probing question asked on the cover of the March 22nd edition of People Magazine. Seems that Kate Gosselin of “Jon Minus Kate Makes for More Money” fame is having a good time out and about and critics are questioning how a mom of 8 can balance an active social life and being a mommy.

Well?

Personally I don’t give a lick about this woman. I never watched her show and honestly find her new hair extensions make her look like a Barbie doll.

What caught my eye about the article was the simple notion that a mom having fun should be questioned. Does a mom having fun suggest that she is shirking her responsibilities? Hey..wait…does that mean that being a mom isn’t fun? I have a blast being a mom.

If you Google “Mom’s Having Fun” (DO NOT DO THIS) you will come up with a whole lot of porn. Seems that the number one thing that moms do to have fun is touch themselves. No wonder the idea is being criticized…nobody wants to think of their mom doing THAT. Pages and pages of mom’s having FUN, sometimes with Dad, sometimes alone. Moms all over the world having fun the same way. How nice that we moms have a common bond.

As moms, we take great pride in teaching our kids right from wrong. We marvel in their ability to tie their shoes and button their shirts. We cannot stress enough the importance of checking both ways before crossing the street or brushing teeth before bed. It’s our job to prepare our children for the world. Nobody wants their son or daughter heading off to college unable to properly close their shirt.

Equally as important as the ability to dress oneself is the ability to spell properly. I was reminded this week that the importance of spelling properly is as vital as any skill we can teach our kids.

The letter “B”. Seems like a fairly innocuous letter on it’s own. “B” is for bagel and beagle. “B” is for bear and bare. “B” is the second letter in the Latin alphabet as well as being a musical note. If the letter “B” appears on a dollar bill it was issued in New York. “B” is the symbol of the element Boron. The letter “B” does not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999.

Funny story (one of those stories that is funny when you look back on it a few days later). So a friend orders “Bo” and has it sent to his girlfriend’s house as a gift for them to use on his next trip to see her. All he tells her is that he has sent a present. Gift arrives and she calls him to…well….thank him?

Her: I got the gift.
Him: I am really looking forward to us using it together.
Her: Are you into this type of thing?
Him: Well sure.
Her: Really?
Him: I thought we could save money buying a good one instead of using the cheap disposable ones.
Her: I am not certain I am comfortable with this.

(Please note that at this point neither one of them has mentioned what the item is or was supposed to be)

Him: What do you mean?
Her: Were you intending to use this with me?
Him: We have before.
Her: When did we use a butt plug???
Him: WHAT? I did not order a butt plug. I ordered a cock ring.

Lelo “Bo” is a fantastic cock ring. Top of the line.Lelo “Bob” is a prostate massager. Top of the line

Did you see that amazing rope bondage going on at our launch party? Are you wondering what that’s all about? Are you ready to move beyond furry handcuffs and try something more involved (not that there’s anything wrong with furry handcuffs, but they do have their limits)?

There is a lot to bondage beyond the furry handcuffs

If you are in the Seattle area, here’s an opportunity to explore further.

Over the last few weeks a friend has been serving as a stunt bottom for someone who is taking private lessons from Max of BondageLessons.com. (”Bottom” meaning the person inside the ropes, and “Top” meaning the person applying the ropes.) Doing this has given her very special opportunity to really focus on what it is like to be inside the ropes, and to try and articulate her experiences. She has been writing about some of that here on this blog.