Some say that he has two left hands, and his nose can tell when it will rain. All we know is that he's called DFM.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Afghan Solution

Some while ago, I saw a woman on TV comment about Canada's involvement in Afghanistan. This was shocking, not because she was commenting about it, but because of what she had to say. Her response was "I don't even know why we're over there!" At first I thought I had misheard, but then I realized she was just ignorant. At the time it had not been seven full years since the start of the campaign. If you think about it WWII would have just ended at this time. Do you think any Americans were asking themselves in 1944 why we they were still fighting over in Japan? But that did raise an interesting dilemma. Why has it taken so long to finish what amounts to essentially the World's largest game of hide and seek? A friend mentioned something that helped me realize the answer. We don't need better weapons or more Canadian soldiers. What we need are the Israelis.

Israel, as a nation, is a killing machine; it kills often and it kills well. But what is its secret? Practice.

Modern Israel was born on May 14, 1948. Less than 24 hours later it was attacked by the armies of Egypt, Jordan, Syria, Lebanon and Iraq (at the same time). Israel won. Since then they've been the New York Yankees of modern warfare.

In October of '56, Egypt, Syria and Jordan signed a military alliance against Israel. Israel responded with military efficiency that would have made Hitler jealous while he was sipping wine in Paris. In 8 days Israel captured the Gaza Strip and the entire Sinai Peninsula.

The UN Wuss Patrol eventually came in and restored the political boundaries back to their original positions. However, less than a decade later, in 1967, Egypt kicked the UN forces out. This violation of the treaty, combined with consistent terrorism from its neighbouring countries, prompted Israel to engage in a three-front war. In six days Israel defeated Syrian, Jordanian, and Egyptian forces. In the process it captured Judea, Samaria, Gaza, the Sinai Peninsula, and the Golan Heights.

Fast forward to 1973 and the Israeli people are celebrating Yom Kippur - the most sacred of national holidays. Egypt and Syria launch a two-front, co-ordinated strike against Israel and are not only rebuffed, but driven back. Israel advanced to within 20 miles of Syria's capital.

Around 1982, the PLO set up shop in southern Lebanon and decided to terrorize northern Israel. "Operation Peace for Galilee" was launched and Israel summarily wiped out the bulk of the PLO's organizational and military infrastructure from the area.

Wiped out the bulk of the infrastructure? That sounds pretty good to me. My guess is that if Israel were in charge of The Afghanistan Mission, Osama bin Laden would have had his testicles burned off about six years ago.

(For those of you who don't know, this is supposed to be a picture of a Mossad agent. The Mossad is Israel's secret service.)