They move in packs, clutching unwieldy red folders and dropping their GPA in an attempt to make small talk. If this unusual display of social ineptitude doesn’t tip you off: prefrosh weekend kicks off tomorrow. In the interest of prefrosh rights (and host sanity), FM has assembled a short list of tips and cautionary tales for hosts.

1. We know you love prefrosh, but try to have limits.

Two years ago, the men of Weld 16 rose to the prefrosh occasion, hosting a total of 13 eager visitors. “It was funny, because the drop-down box on the Internet signup only went from 1 to 7,” recalls former host Zachary L. Bercu ’04.

Peter L. Bierhorst ’04, another one of the overenthusiastic hosts, adds, “We made them sleep in the Weld common room because our common room was dirty.” Since there are no beds in the Weld Common room, the prefrosh, by their own account, slept on tables or on the floor. The room briefly enjoyed the status of “mini-social hub for the prefrosh,” complete with late-night sing-alongs, until being forcibly evacuated by Yard Ops.

Upon escorting the baker’s dozen back to Bercu and Bierhorst’s room, an officer was heard to exclaim, “Jesus, this common room’s dirty!” The six roommates subsequently got in trouble for having an egregiously foul living space.

Still, Manoah K. Koletty ’05, one of the prefrosh pack, has nothing but fond memories. “That was ridiculous,” he laughs. “Did you know that their room was in the Police Log in The Crimson for how disgusting it was?” Koletty says he saw the whole weekend as a “cool little adventure,” adding that the overall experience convinced him to come to Harvard.

Bercu will not be reprising his performance as super host this year, although he notes that his brother will be coming up for prefrosh weekend. What advice did he give him? “Pretty simple: have a good time, and meet as many people as possible.”

2. No, you’re not their parents—but watch the alcohol intake.

Says one first-year of the prefrosh he recently hosted, “Even when he wasn’t drunk, he was sort of acting like an ass. He also seemed to be on a personal rampage against feminists and liberals.”

Besides observing that the Harvard female population was “not quite as ugly as Columbia’s,” “Brian” also managed to insult almost anyone who crossed his path the entire weekend. Before going to sleep, another of the roommates remembers him saying condescendingly, “Are you guys planning on turning the light off anytime soon?”

But the kicker came when Brian consumed a Lake Erie-sized amount of alcohol at a Friday night party and metamorphosed from irritating to howling beast. Convinced he was the central character of the 1992 animated feature Aladdin, he proceeded to take a carpet from another room in Matthews and ride it down the hallway while singing “A Whole New World.” Had his hosts been granted three wishes at that very moment, they would have yearned for Brian to leave, leave quickly and never return. Or, as the individual who had his jacket temporarily appropriated by Brian observed of the stay, “He waltzed in, just generally made an ass of himself, was kinda ignored and waltzed out.”

3. Could you pick another night?

“Ellie” didn’t expect to spend her prefrosh weekend sexiled. At a Pfoho party with her host, Ellie grew tired and wanted to go to bed. “Rebecca,” her host, kindly lent her a swipe card and headed off to another party.

Around 3 a.m., Rebecca returned—with a guy. She asked Ellie to go to her friend’s common room for a while, saying the two needed to talk. What she neglected to mention, Ellie recalls, is that “I wouldn’t be able to come back.” This became evident only when the other prefrosh staying with Rebecca loudly demanded to be let back in. According to Ellie, Rebecca simply “took all the bedding and just threw it out the door.” Welcome to Harvard.