December 29, 2008

the hard truth

sometimes i wonder if music is the right path for me. reasons why i think this:

* i have a super thin skin* i suck at networking* i hate to practice guitar* i am too easily distracted by other things/ interests

reasons why i think music IS the path for me:

* i have a good voice* i write solid songs* i'm totally cute* i don't quit easily* when you hit the sweet spot - write something awesome, have a great performance, etc. - it is good. really, really good. you feel accomplished. you feel you've done something worthwhile, and all is right with the world. that in the deepest fibers of your being, you were meant for this and it was meant for you.

but with the failing economy, , the fact that not a whole lot of people pay for music anymore, and the reality of the long tail, it scares me to to place all my fragile hopes and dreams into a realm so volatile. i want to be successful but NOBODY knows where the future of this business is going, no matter how much they try to predict. not major or indie labels, not the riaa, not marketing gurus, not music bloggers, and certainly not independent musicians. certainly not me.

bleh. i hate all this doomsday stuff. but sadly, it's been getting under my skin. so lately i've been contemplating other dream jobs tailored to my interests. could i be:

coffee shop owner?

zoologist?

crazy cat lady? or, i already am that. no-kill animal shelter owner?

vintage clothing reseller?

professional crafter?

i kinda feel like i'm five again, trying to decide "what do YOU want to be when you grow up." i guess whatever you want to be, it always takes more work than you thought. and there are never any guarantees. i hate that, but it's the reality of the game. no risk, no reward. i must memorize this as my mantra, lest i be stuck behind a desk the rest of my life.