Hipsters, Pigs, Lesbian Masseuses, just an average day in Logan Square

A picture of two pigs hogging the couch/remote isn’t exactly putting your best foot forward

(Craigslist) First, I have two pot belly pigs who will be an unavoidable part of your life. They are intelligent, sweet, and adorable, but they also behave like pigs and so anyone who lives here must understand how to interact with them properly. That I can teach you, but it requires a certain degree of confidence around animals. Franklin, the oldest, will bully you-they are herd animals and while I am ultimately alpha, he feels the need to climb the hierarchy. If you live here, logically you are in his herd, therefore he will challenge you every so often to establish who is where in the hierarchy. He can also be very sweet and cuddle with you on the couch while you watch your favorite show. The other one is an absolute sweetheart and will probably never challenge you. We can discuss the pig topic further.

Second, I work from home as a massage therapist. This is an awesome perk for you because in exchange for my use of a little extra space, you can get some free body work. Because I work from home, the apartment must always be presentable.

Vegans/vegetarians welcome. I don’t eat pork, but I subscribe to a Paleolithic diet so I eat a lot of protein. The other roommate eats pork and other meats. No indoor smoking. No heavy drinkers or drug users. 420 is fine, but you can’t do it in the apartment during my business hours.

Current roommates (beside the pigs) I am 29, lesbian, in school full time, easy going, clean, responsible, stay active and bike year round. The other roommate is 23, female, finishing up a degree in journalism, loves to cook and bake, easy to get along with and is often very busy. The latter roommate will also be moving out at some point, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Oh cool because a pig that wants to emasculate me and challenge my worth as a human being and force me to be part of his “pack” while a lady gives rub and tugs in the living room 24/7 is EXACTLY what I wanted in a roommate. I mean no offense to anyone who would actually consider this but you’re a fucking psychopathic moron if you do. And I haven’t even gotten to the part where you have to live in Logan Square, with the hippest hipsters and the Latin Kings. Seriously, this has to be the number 1 least desirable place to live in Chicago. Its like Chappelles Mad Real World but instead of black people stabbing you and having sex with your girlfriend its getting in a fight with a pig named Franklin every so often just to keep the hierarchy in the house intact. Thanks but no thanks.

PS

I’m just taking a shot in the dark here, but the pig owning lesbian who lives in Logan Square is probably not the same lesbian I see on Brazzers. Maybe I’m wrong but that’s just what my gut is telling me.

My first response would have to be to see a pic of her. This decision can’t be made without that. I know it’s unlikely as you pointed out, but if she’s remotely hot… I’m fighting those fucking pigs for a year or whatever and hoping to see some lesbo action once in a while… maybe even get an occasional invite.

Think she’d get offended if you asked to see a pic of the other roommate? Outside shot she’s a smoke who likes to bake and is trapped in a hell of dyke massages and pigs and you could be the knight in shining armor.