Watch femdom porn. The men wear masks. The men have their faces turned away from the camera. The women never wear masks and you can always see their faces. Their identities aren't something they need to hide.

You know what I hear from a lot of submissive men? I can't go to a munch because of my job. People might see me. People might know who I am.

I never hear this from dominant men. I never hear this from women. I'm not saying there aren't other people out there who are worried about people finding out who they are, but I talk to a lot of kinksters.

Why is it shameful to be a submissive man?

Why is masculinity so far removed from submission in so many cultures?

This image, this view of a woman from behind, with a man's hands around her torso from below... I know this is supposed to be the view of a dominant woman with her submissive worshipping her, with her full of power and control, but... honestly all I can see her as is an object of desire. Though that might be a form of dominance, using his desire to control him, it's not a kind of dominance that I enjoy. I mean, what happens when you age or gain weight or lose weight or anything changes? Do you lose your power over him if your power only ever stemmed from his physical desire for you?

So that form of dominance does not fit well with me, not only for that reason, but also because then dominant women are forced into society's idea of what a woman should look like and dress when being dominant. Which is this woman in the photo we're looking at. She's wearing gloves and fishnet and a corset. She's fit and beautiful. That's all you need to be a dominant.

Now, back to what I see in this photo, because I really do enjoy it and find it gorgeous.

I really enjoy objectification. I enjoy it as an artist, seeing a beautiful human-art creation, and I enjoy it as a dominant, watching someone obey their top and remain a still and amazing piece of art or furniture. So I really do enjoy this photo, just from the opposite side. I'm viewing this in a way that suggests that she is submitting to him. She is a beautiful human statue and he is enjoying being able to play with the artwork that she has become. Those hands are in control. She's just a lovely, submissive doll.

Yes, I realize that a lot of dominants enjoy dressing up and that fit and societally-deemed beautiful people are dominant as well, but I find that they are a much smaller category than the sexy fat people I know who like to play while wearing jeans or sweatpants.

I love this piece. I actually love this artist in general, but this one in particular. I love his expression, I love the facial hair, the blood dripping down, and the colors. There's a few beautiful bite marks on his shoulder and neck.

The fantasy of being used by strangers, in any way they see fit, of being unable to resist or have any say, is very common. It's an amazing fantasy and it works into a lot of the writing and scenes that me and my boy have. But I often run into people who can't understand the difference between negotiating for play and telling people about their fantasies.

The reality of that sort of play is terrifying. The fantasy might be amazing and mind-blowing, but trusting your body and your self to a stranger, or even to someone you know, without the option of safewording or escaping safely... terrifying.