(Picture by Fox_Fotography!!!!)
Leather Bear Tails is about the leather journey of my slave and I. It deals with all parts of the leather and BDSM experience from safety to predators, to skills, and all of the lovely mistakes that she and I make along the way!!
Also!! I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it can be found for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+usI am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:

aelmailing@gmail.com

If you are interested in active online community please find:

Fetlife.com

Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, February 22, 2013

It is easy, I think, to get kind of stuck thinking that my Master and slave relationship has little difference, if any difference then most other relationships. We go through life just like anyone else, our bills are late, we have holes in our socks, and occasionally I call off of work because the sex is just that good.....

So it is easy to get to thinking that really our relationshipisn't that different, until those differences smack me around and call me their bitch. Imean until those differences are made apparent as Inegotiate through other relationships.

Lately these differences have done everything to leaving me extremely confused and baffled, to given me even more awe of my slaves perseverance, patience, and service, to have put a mirror up to my own self and to my behavior. Ouch by the way, fuck that mirror.....

The first big difference between our relationship and other relationshipsbecameevident and I had to confront my own self with it. That is being told no. Sounds simple doesn't it? No. Ultimately I am told no all of the time, we all are.

No- you can't go 90 in a 45 and get out of a ticket by calling it "flow of traffic."

No- having working brakes in the van isn't just the "manufacturer's suggestion."

And No- putting a paper towel over cat puke while the slave is out of the house does not mean it will pick itself up.

So one would think that I would be used to being told no. But guess who doesn't say no- my slave......If I want to grope her, touch her boobs, stroke her parts, get her naked... OK. If I want to suspend all of the daily chores and spend all day in bed with her.... OK.If I want to toss her across the bed, drag her up to my hips, and fulfill my carnal fantasies.......OK.

So when someone finally told me "no", really and legitimately I did not hear them. Then I thought they had to be kidding, then I thought that no really meant yes- they just didn'tknow that yet- then I just got really confused. What do you mean "No"?Then I had to learn that people say "no" without actually using the word no. So it was no- in Latin. At that point I had to start all over again, maybe they didn't mean no.... I was so confused I had to ask my slave to step in and translate for me because I got so lost at the "it isn't a yes" part.

The next difference I experienced was when it came to the talking thing. I do try really hard to listen ,but I do have the tendency to interrupt and talk over people. Now, when I do this at home, my slave stops talking, smiles, listens, and then continues when I am finished. But other people don't stop talking when I start talking over them- they just keep talking to. I hadn't realized how much I had gotten used to my slave letting me talk - even when I interrupt her. How rude!!! Not her, me- how rude!

Finally there was the physical differencethat separates our relationship from otherrelationships. I am a very touchy person, I love touch, both giving and receiving. I am very used to having totalunlimited access to my slaves body and to how my slaves body moves and feels. I am also used to and very comfortable with moving her and putting her where I want her.

Did you know that peopledon't necessarily like that? WTF?

When that was pointed out to me I was so confused! What do you mean don't touch a person that way or I could break them? I am so confounded....

So after all of this I came to the conclusion that my Master and slave relationship really is very different them many other relationships. My slaves unending patience, service, and availability have spoiled me rotten --for the good and the bad.

So if I don't hear you say no, talk over you, or position you - I am really sorry.

Friday, February 15, 2013

We were so honored to present at AEL in January and here is an excerpt from the speech!

In the
1960’s there was the historical Stonewall uprising and lesbian visibility was
not becoming more of a three dimensional presences in the public eye.With the lesbian rights movement and the
first wave of feminism, butches and femmes were not becoming increasingly
viewed with a sense of misunderstanding and hostility by other lesbians.Androgyny was now seen as the only acceptable
form of lesbian gender expression.Sexual practices were also policedwithinthe lesbiancommunity.This time with the prohibition of any phallic shaped sex toy within an
emphasis way from sex toys completely.Butches and femmes who wanted to become a part of the important women’s
and gay rights movement found themselves treated as unwanted.Butch femme couples were called “aping heterosexual
couples’ and patriarchal attitudes.Because
the gender expressions were so polarized the first and second wave of feminist movement
didn’t know that to do with them.The concept
of aping was and still is used to degrade and devalue butch femme relationships.It was a very effective way for the feminist movement
to separate themselves from the butch femme members’ that had become so undesirable.

In the 1970’s through the 1980’s the lesbian
sex wars began in earnest and continued well into the 1990’s.The lesbian sex wars were specifically within
the lesbian community.They were hostile
and vocal and angry fights from within for the push for recognition of a wide
diversity of sexualities, gander expressions, and ethnicities.It was the fight for what defined lesbian and
queer women’s sexuality.IT was the
fight for all women’s sex lives to be validated and recognized.Women were fighting to be seen by other women
as three dimensional sexual beings.Fights over the topics such as the sue of sex toys, penetration of any
kind, bdsm, the inclusion of transgendered women and a recognition of very type
of gender expression opened up an explosive e dialogue ion the complexities of lesbian
sexuality and gender variance.As a result
of these debates, and not so friendly discussions, butches and femmes finally
began to find a platform to express their grievances’ and concerns in a public
forum.The lesbian sex wars also allowed
the butch femme community to look at itself through a more three dimensional
lens and start to realize that we could make our own decisions and more
importantly, we could break our own rules whenever we felt like it.

We’re not going to fast forward to the
modern butch femme community where thankfully there have been a lot of
changes.One significant change is that
queer women are no longer obligatedto
be butch femme or even andro.What this
means isthat there is a greater freedom
to make gender expression something that is unique to the individual.It is also less likely that a person sexual expression
is dictated by their gender expression.Butches are under less pressure to be exclusive sexual tops with only
femme partners’.Femmes are less likely to
be under pressure to be exclusive sexual bottoms with only butch tops for partners’
.Now we're not saying that this has
gone way completely. What we are saying is that the social consequences for
being an open butch sexual bottom or femme sexual top are less severe than they
used to be.The reason for this welcome
change in attitude is mainly due to the large influx of literature that has
been written by and for queer women of all gender expressions’.The internet has had a phenomenal impact on
the growing butch femme community.Because
we are finally able to find each other and talk about our won realities.

Another very positive change has been the
growth of the bdsm and leather communities’.What this community has done has given us as butches and femmes the ability
to have understandable , viable, and supported three dimensional identities in
a way that the e lesbian community at large still struggles with.For example, in bdsm and leather, theterms butch boi, femme switch, femmesexual top, butch service top, and girl have
allowed the butch femme community to truly expand.So, although the lesbian sex wars are over
and we have other communities that support us, unfortunately, the power of some
of the biases from the past still remain.

Two labels that are often negatively used
when talking about lesbian sexual practices in relation to gender expression
and flippable butch and pillow queen femme.

What it means to be a flippable butch is
that the butch both gives and receives sexually.Unfortunately stillinour
culture, it is thought that for a butch to e a real butch, they have to be
stone.In other words, they can only
give and onto receive sexual pleasure.So for butches to admit that they enjoy receiving sexualpleasure, they are taking a change co being viewed
as less fierce, less capable, and a less desirable partner.Because a butch identity is so hard fought
for , and hard won, it is something that we hold onto very closely.So it can very difficult to have our identity
come into question simply because of the joy that we have receiving sexual gratification.Believe it or not, butches come in a variety
of categories.There is the bulldagger,
the bulldyke, the hard butch, and the soft butch.They all vary in intensity of their gender
3expression and sexual desires.Gull
daggers’, being the most masculine in appearance and behavior and soft butch
being someone with butch undertones mixed with a more feminine/androgynous
feel.So to call a bull dagger a soft
butch and vice versa is like smacking the cocaine out of Lindsey Lohans’
nose.That’s just asking for a fight.

On the femmes side, the pursuit of femmes
like butches are still going through having their complex sexualities
recognized and validated buy the queer women’s community at large.While butches face an uphill battle when it
comes to being viewed as always aggressive, femmes on the contrary have an
uphill battle when it comes to being viewed as always passive.

(EVE SPEAKING HERE)

The term pillow queen which is used interchangeably
with the label femme, means that they do nothing more in bed than lay back look
pretty, and let their partners’ do all the work.The flip side to this is that sexually
aggressive femmes are viewed with a sense of alarm if not outright
amazement.I have had many experiences
with this myself in that the women I approached were very surprised to learn
that for the most part I identify as a sexual top who is mostly stone.That is to say I am more comfortable in
giving sexual affection and attention than I am in receiving it.For me, when I came out, the book Stone Butch
Blues had a strong resonance for me because while I am femme identified my
choice of sexual expression with women as a stone sexual top.The bookhelped me realize that one of the reasons that I was a sexual top was
because of the amount of vulnerability that it took to be a sexual bottom
wasn’t something that I was comfortable with.That is until I met my wife…hee hee.

Another thing that helped me was finally
getting in touch with other femme sexual top.This was monument for me because I was finally able to talk with other
femme identified women with similar sexual preferences and that was very
freeing an empowering.

(ME SPEAKING HERE)

The interesting thing here is that when I
finally met eve, I had had five y ears’ of really bad sex.Lemma say it, five years of really bad
sex.I knew that there was good sex out
there, and I knew people were having good sex, and I knew that I was going to get
me some.So when Eve and I started
seeing each other, I had absolutely no baggage about being on the receding side
of sexual gratification.It wasn’t until
much later when I was sent the memo that I shouldn’t be so public about receiving
sex from Eve that I actually first had to think about how I was being as a
butch who was open about receiving sexual pleasure from their femme.But even after I was informed of this, the
sex has been so mind blowing and has remained mind blowing, that there was no
way that I going to stop bragging.

Friday, February 8, 2013

My slave and I were honored to speak at AEL in January- here is an excerpt!

There is
mention inancient Greek passages about the
hetaerae.The hetaerae were female courtesans thatserved high lead male nobility. In their off
time however, these female courtesanswere known to have masculine female lovers who they doted their
time,attention and money on.

Within the
ancient African warrior kingdom of Dahomey, it was not unheard of for high
ranking female Amazongenerals to take
on multiple wives.

A final
example would be the red light districtof 18thcentury Tokyo.
There was a special section of butchfemale sex workers that only catered tofemale clients.

So tostart talking about the NorthAmericanhistory we are going to start in the 1940’s in New York specifically. At
that time more local bars started catering to openly gay crowds. The available
jobs in the industrial areasmeant that
there were a greater number of pants wearing womengoing to and from work at all hours.What this meantinterms of safetywas that it was
no longerunusual to see women inmasculine attire on the streetThis mean that butches were less likelytostand outand it created a safety
not experienced before for butches who now had economic means and were not
forced intotraditional women’s attire.

As far as
the femmesthe economic power meant that
you were less likely tohave toanswer for yourself on your off hoursas to why you didn’t live with your
parents,or have a traditionalhusband and child household.

It was the beginning
to not be an aberrationfor a femme not
to be married right away,or seen as a
spinster burden on her family.

Thesetwo segments of the community started to become economically viableindependent anvisible. Whichalso meant that they were finally able to meet each other inmore social areasthat cateredto them.Now know that we are
onlytalking about working class lesbians
here. Not upper to high class people who had other means to have more privileges’.
We are focusing on working and lower to middle class butches and femmes.

So just like
all sorts of communities, butches and femmes were held toa certain standard of behavior.These standards were just as rigid for
butches and femmes as they were for the male and female mainstream partners in heterosexual
society.

For example femmeswere to be seen inmakeup, dresses, and heels at all times, and
they were expected to be sexually passive.

Butches especially
in the bar culture were expected to be inpants and starched shirts and were expected to be sexually aggressive.
To be accepted into the working class social lesbian community butches had to
have femme partnersand femmes had to
have butchpartners. The partnering of
butch to butch and femme to femmemeant
that the couple would not be welcome and therefore ostracized from their very
small social out lets.

Sexuallyspeaking, femmeswere to only receivesexual gratification,and butches were only allowed to give sexual
gratification.Not to say that people
didn’t deviate fromthose strict sexual expectations,but it was never publicly spoke of for fear
of losing face, loosing sexual desirability,loosing potential sexual partners, or loosing social status.

In the
1950’s the butches and femme community started picking up some steam.There were more socialvenuesmore jobs and there was now a slowly growing selection of
literaturefor example the BeboBrinker seriesit was a lesbian pulp fiction that actually
had lesbians that were not tragic characters and surprise surprise lived at the
end.Even though there was all of this
good stuff,unfortunately in the
mainstreamcommunitythe McCarthy arealead to more police raids and greater witch
hunts to ferret out anyone that was not compliant with the strict expected
conformity of the day.

The butch
femme community was just as influenced by this concept of conformity and regimented
role as the mainstreamworlds and in
response became evenmore unbendable
regarding its social and sexual rules.

Another
change at the time was that butch identity had moreemphasis physical strength. So there was a change from the dapper butch to am more aggressive one. With increased visibilitycame increased violence and danger. So part
of the butch make up became the art of being physically imposing and intimidating.
The new stance of being physically imposing came with encouraging people to
keep a distance but it also came at the price of being viewed as angry and
hostile.So as the butches embraced
their ability to be more socially visible, they sometimes embraced the unspoken
expectation of being angry and hostile.Good for staying safe, not so good for making a relationship last.This also led to butches becoming more hostile
towards each other, being protective becamebeing possessive.This wasn’t always
the case, but these lines became easily blurred through social pressure.Another form of social policing came in the
way of defining who was a true lesbian. For butch to be considered a true
lesbian, and a "butch's butch", they had to meet a few stringent
requirements.They can’t have had any
sexual history with men.Be exclusively
attracted to femmes.Be butch in
appearance 24/7, which meant no changing into feminine garb for work.

For femmes the requirements’ were just as strict,
and it still didn’t mean that you were accepted as a lesbian.Femmes had to be in a relationship with a
butch.They had to be submissive to that
butch.They had to be completely sexuallypassive.At this point, was the social beginning of femmeinvisibility.What that means is that femmes were not acknowledged as a apart of the
growing lesbian community.Single femmes
were viewed as suspect if they were recognized at all.Because femmes were able to come in and out
of the straight world easier than butches, and because many femmes were sex
workers’ who serviced male clientele, it was very hard for them to be
recognized by a community that was still struggling to define itself and come
to terms with its own many complexities.

About Me

I am a Master identified lesbian. My slave and I have been together in in a 24/7 dynamic for 14years. This shows how patient she really is... I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us." It is available here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
I love discussing M/s in real life terms, not just the ones put out there by unrealistic, holier then thou, better then everyone people. We are real people living a real life, it involves mistakes, miscommunication, undone chores, and the experiment gone wrong. ie... playing with emergency candle wax. And neither I nor she will put out there that our flawed lives are any better then anyone else's!!!