Men who are successful with women contradict the "be yourself" advice given by many women and some men?

This could be a "my take" but I really don't want to find a pic. In summary: some guys get tons of women ( and it's not only looks) and some men never get any girl ever... Ever. So logically, aiming to emulate what those successful men do will boost the chances for the unsuccessful guy. But this comes with changing yourself. So those who don't get women can't be themselves... they need to change in varying degrees to attract their girl. Any thoughts or comments on this?

Updates:

Would really like a take from a girl on this one?

@starsite sorry, you right the "bullshit" comment was very short, snappy and hostile. This question wasn't aimed at you, it was posted before your opinion. Still no reason to say what I said without an explanation in context. Sorry again.

Most Helpful Girl

I agree that sometimes you do have to change yourself, and it's kind of silly when people say you shouldn't. It's good to learn to be more patient or find an interesting hobby or practice being charismatic, or whatever. So "be yourself" isn't good advice on its own. But I think the point of saying that is to remind people not to put up a fake personality, or try to change too much.

So self-improvement is good, but you should still be true to yourself. Don't do something you hate just because you think it'll get girls, you know? That's the main point.

You pretty on the money there but what attracts girls is often what some guys hate. They have to fully change themselves. For example.. some women do love bad boys. So an introvert would have to join a drug gang (extreme example but does happen)... or even more common... guys go on steroids to be all big and cut. And it works. See it often.

We all have different preferences though. If you're looking for a good relationship, do you really want to date someone who doesn't actually like you? Sometimes, yeah, a guy's personality really limits the number of girls who'd be interested, even if he improves on himself. But there still will be girls who can fall for him, and they'll be way better to date than anyone who only likes him because he's making himself unhappy.

That's assuming the guy wants an actual relationship though. If he's aiming more for a one-night-stand kind of deal, that's another matter. :P

Lol... one night stands. That's like a billion dollars for guys like me. It exists but I will never get it. I pay for sex workers instead. I believe the high divorce rate is due to people not finding their true partners (as you imply) and the reality is because many of them simply can't.

Seriously, never? That's the ideal time to fake it, I'm just saying, lol.

I don't know, I think a big part of the reason for the divorce rate is just that people do change naturally, over time. They get tired of each other, they fall out of love, they want to go different directions. And a lot of them probably didn't find a good match to start with, but I don't know how often that's "impossible." I think there are a LOT of things that contribute to dating difficulty, and many people don't even recognize what exactly their problem is.

Lol... Got ya;) got to fake it at least for one night stands. Tbh though I've never been in a situation where a o. n. s could occur, at my age now I wouldn't even know where to begin and she would see through me. Even drunk girls don't go for me. Been around plenty of those. So a sex worker (love Australia for their sex worker regulations) is a much better option for guys like me. But yeah your opinion on the divorce rate is pretty much spot on.

What Girls Said 3

Some qualities are just more attractive to certain types of people. Maybe you don't need to necessarily change yourself so much as hone. Are you socially aware? Do you have interests to share and talk about? Are you able to carry a conversation about basic topics? Cultivate yourself! You have to like yourself before someone else can!

I have 2 degrees, 3 diplomas, a musician and am a relationship manager. I do gym and boxing training, 5 days on, 2 days off. I once had a great sense of humour and was told often to be a comedian. That kinda died a while ago, I'm average funny now. I travel often and love new places. I really dont watch much TV! This site is probably the only place where I waste my time;) it doesn't matter though, a guy can be whatever but if he doesn't know how to attract, he will always be friendship zoned. Got tons of female friends and colleagues.

It sounds like you have an interesting life! Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet? Are friends really that bad of a thing to have? Like, oh no... I have fun people to talk and do things with...

No i don't mind my friends. In fact I think me being who I am, mr friendshipzone, has helped me immensely. Women bosses and directors are the reason for my success in business. I get on well with everyone and can honestly put 10/10 for team player with women or men. Even my new band, I wrote my songs with a female lead vocalist and I work with her fine. I am very social. I just can't attract women romantically. For me, it's not about finding the right person, it's at least being able to find a person... I can't get one yet alone choose from and few.

Welp, I guess you're right. Totes undateable. Give up hope all ye who enter here. Maybe you're too busy with you to make time for a gf. I don't know dude. I don't know your life story or personality apart from a general "why don't girls like me question" where you disagreed with everyone until they agreed with you. General advice for a general situation.

Very perceptive comeback, I admire that. You are on the money. i am very busy I will admit... but I feel that if I am not, I'm worthless. Things like money and talent takes work and those things attract women. But the catch 22 is that yeah,... it's a dead end if I don't have time for a gf. But... im about to just give another curveball... never mind. But you read me like a book on this last comment. Well done;)

Apparently this question was asked to prove my reply was "complete bullshit". A guy posted a question in which he asked how he could pretend to look rich to make himself more attractive. My reply was this:

"You would do better to work on your confidence and social skills than to pretend to be something you are not. By pretending to be something you are not is insulting, to not only yourself but the women you meet."

Scrambled (asker) There's no need for you to be rude by commenting that my reply is 'complete bullshit', nor did you have to post this question to try and prove me wrong. Instead of asking me a question you felt the need to be unnecessarly rude and hostile. I simply posted a reply and if you disagree that's fine but no need to be rude.

Ever hear the phrase, fake it till you make it. You can be anyone you choose to be. Bottom line if you a real.., I'm gonna say it "loser" it's best to change. I'm also taking a stab at certain variables in this post. This is a loaded question. I love ripping Disney and Cupid to shreds;)

Sure they may 'say' otherwise, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea...

Be yourself for a while, but if you come to the conclusion that the way you act/behave around people is the problem, then change it. I wouldn't wait years on the off chance that a girl likes all of my oddities.

If you 32 like me... it's been far too long. I believe if you havnt lost your virginity before 20... something's wrong. If you truly have women go for you and you abstain then what I say is invalid. But I highly doubt that's the case for most. I'm an evolutionist thinker.