E3 press conferences: who what where when why whom

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E3, the event “as close as this industry gets to Eurovision“, officially begins on Tuesday. Thousands of developers, members of the press, and gawkers will descend upon Los Angeles for the four-day trade show, full of demos, presentations, and questions like “How many guns does this have?” E3 unofficially begins before then, mind, with publishers and platform holders livestreaming presentations from Saturday. Most of the announcements come from these and, as Graham said, they are pretty Eurovision. What to watch and when? Here’s our roundup of E3 livestreams.

Microsoft

Blah blah Xbox Project Scorpio blah blah console VR. All Microsoft’s Xbox One games these days seem to also be Windows 10 games so there should be plenty for us. I’d expect to hear about Forzas, Halos, and hopefully Crackdown. It’d seem a good time to announce a release date for pirate ’em up Sea of Thieves too.

PC Gaming Show

The folks at cheery RPS fanzine PC Gamer are hosting their PC Gaming Show this year. We already know something XCOM 2-y will be announced. Intel, Nexon, Bohemia Interactive, Xbox, Tripwire, and Cygames are official partners so I assume they’ll show stuff, but personally I’m hoping the rest of the 17 hours will be people showing off weird mods.

Sony

Given that most games are multiplatform these days, Sony will surely show off plenty of third-party games that are also coming to PC. Microsoft and Sony do scrap over publishers to drop hot scloosies in their shows.

Nintendo

No, none of Nintendo’s games will come to PC. So? Nintendo’s streams are always full of wonderful things that lift the spirits. I’m always exhausted by this point of E3 (when technically it hasn’t even started) and find this a delight. I haven’t even owned a Nintendo system since the DSi.

That’s the bigguns! Obviously a million sites will have their own streaming odds and ends with developers all over. If you’re very lucky, you’ll be able to tune into a livestream of me barely awake at 5am watching streams and talking to the bottle I’ve sworn off.

So, gang, what are your bets on this year’s overused buzzwords? ‘Visceral’ is always a safe bet and our Adam thinks ‘authentic’ will do well this year.

Oh, and a hot tip: given how many people will be throwing around business terms next week as if they’re Gordon flipping Gekko, you might want to use this Chrome extension which replaces the term ‘IP’ with ‘immense penis’. I’ll settle for pelting pennies at the foreheads of anyone talking about ‘IPs’, ‘titles’, and ‘winning E3’.

Was just asking that myself. I suspect it’s because this is just the livestreams being listed and, let’s be honest, the big companies just spit out the same shit every year anyway so this lineup was bound to be dry as ever.

Good lord man, don’t say that. As Kain himself once said “sometimes, you get what you wish for”. And look what happened last time.

On the other hand, I ADORED the uncharted series, it’s very obvious Hennig hasn’t lost her touch, so if they ever COULD get her back to do another proper LoK game I would probably combust from excitement…