Lyrics

I am Adolfo Pirelli, da king of da barbersDa barber of kingsE buon giorno, good day, I blow you a kissAnd I da so-famous PirelliI wish-a to know-a who has-a da nerve-aTo say my elixir is piss? Who says this?

I do, I am Mr. Sweeney ToddAnd I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's ElixirAnd I say to you, it is nothing but an arrant fraudConcocted from piss and ink

He's right, phewBetter to throw your money down the sewerLadies and gentlemenPay no attention to that madmanWho's to be the first for a magnificent shave?

And furthermore, I have serviced no kingsYet I wager that I can shave a cheekAnd pull a tooth with ten times more dexterityThan any street mountebank

You see these razors? The finest in EnglandI lay them against five pounds, you are no match for meYou hear me, sir? Either accept my challengeOr reveal yourself as a sham, bravo, bravo

Zees are indeed fine razorsInstruments like zees once seenCannot be soon forgotten, and a fine extractor tooYou wager zees against five pounds, sir? I do