Friday, July 28, 2006

This may be a bit heathenistic, but I’m not really a big fan of Christmas. Instead, my favorite time of the year is Fringe time!

And hey, there is lots of spiritual stuff in here, so it sort of gives me some heaven points.

This year . . . so far (it’s not quite over yet!) I have learned about Jewish kids camps, feminism, old cranky people, bad dialogue, the life of a famous showgirl in the 1950’s, that you can hip-hop to Spanish guitar, bus 24 is highly unreliable, and that there is no such thing as an ugly duck.

Here are my top 3:

1. So Kiss Me Already, Hershel Gertz. Funny. Clever. Poignant. A Jewish kid gets sent to Jewish kids camp and has some problems there. Very good. Check out a clip here.2. Flamenco Con Fusion 2. Picture this. Some amazing guy on a Spanish Guitar. One (very passionate-less and uncomfortable looking, unfortunately) flamenco dancer, plus one hip-hop sassy teen. Perfection. Watch a clip here. 3. You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown. Its been a dream of mine to see this on stage, so even if its performed by 10 year olds I will for surely check it out. I was impressed with these kids. Lucy was amazing – she’s such a jerk! I love it! It made me ponder today whether I will be able to watch Charlie Brown and other things like it in heaven. I doubt it, but that thought makes me so sad. It is so clever and so innocent and teaches me so many things everytime I watch or read it. Perfection. Clip!

Anyway, that’s it. Oh, and I also watched Lady in the Water yesterday. Its good – I recommend it.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

There are a few things that I have done in the past little while which I swore I would never do. Here is a list: 1. Eat a Rotton Egg Jellybean. 2. Buy a bikini 3. Live in a basement 4. Like Martha Stewart 5. Fall in love with the Oprah Magazine.

Number 5 surprises me the most. I’m not a big Oprah fan, but her magazine, I would like to tell everybody, is stellar. Very good content, inspirational stories, thinkpieces, serious consideration of women and equality issues. I highly recommend it. The only thing I don’t like is the cover. Oh, and there is a certain amount of inconsistency with some of the articles . . . Such as having a story on body self-hatred which attacks society and corporate media for “decree(ing) what we should look like," when 15 pages later it has a section called “How Not to Look Fat in a Swimsuit.” Hmm . . .

Anyway, I have copied a section of the article which has impacted my life. Copyright info is below. Please don’t sue me, Oprah.

“Body hatred has been defined as a personal problem. But it is a social problem, a poilitical problem, a cultural problem. It is not accidental or incidental. It is induced, injected, and programmed. We Americans like to tell ourselves we are free, but we are imprisioned. We are controlled by a corporate media that decrees what we should look like and then determines what we have to buy in order to get and keep that look. We are controlled by our mother’s idea of how we are supposed to look, and our father’s idea. We are controlled by other women’s ideas. . . . The antidote to body hatred is social activism and community. None of us alone is strong enough to stand up to the daily onslaught of propaganda, imagery, programming, seduction, and mind control. But as a group we can shift and lift the tyranny. Resisting this ideology requires support. It requires a movement. No diet, no surgery will fix the problem. It is collective, pervasive, and ongoing. Hating one’s body is an all-consuming occupation and a dangerous distraction. It is an addiction. As we spend our days focusing on our thighs and butts, thousands die in Iraq, 37 million live below the poverty line in America, more rivers become polluted, more civil liberties disappear, more rights for women are being erased. In our isolated pursuit of thinness or the perfect body, we give up our power, our vision, our rights. We abandon a world that is in desperate need of our attention.”- Eve Ensler, “Belly Dancing,” Oprah June 2006 216-218

I think it is revolutionary to state that “the antidote to body hatred is social activism and community.” However, I am not sure if that is correct. I am all about focusing not on our bodies, but on our community and helping the oppressed and downtrodden. However, is this a permanent solution to this particular body hatred problem? I think that it can only serve as a distraction to the problem, as it does not address the real issues involved here, including our society’s obsession with physical beauty or manipulation by the media at large.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

But today is going to be differentYou can stop the leak when you know where the hole isCause a thousand yesterdays have kicked the crap right out of meBut today I'm going to throw a few of my own punchesI'm gonna drink from the living waterI'm gonna eat from the broken breadAnd the day I finally get into heavenEnds the war between my heart and my head- Miranda Stone

Friday, July 07, 2006

Where do I begin? I am thinking a lot this week about why I have been so sad lately. What it means. How it affects me, how it affects my family, how it affects my friends. It is a strange place to be in when you do not know exactly who to be. When you do not trust that the real you will actually be welcomed or accepted or at all desired. I asked sarah this week where the line can be drawn between being honest and between testing the patience of your friends.

Another friend this week, wonderfully oblivious of what is going on, lamented to me about her roommate – how she has been sad for so long and how this person doesn’t know what to do or how to deal with it anymore. She was pretty upset about all of this and seemed at the end of her rope. She doesn’t know what to do with her roommate anymore.

Where is the line? I don’t know.

So I feel left with the choice between being a huge burden to the people that I love, and trying their patience, and lying to my friends saying that I am stellar. Which I did to somebody this week. Sorry, friend. I don’t want to drive people away. I don’t want to be an overwhelming burden.

This sounds sort of pathetic. That makes me sad.

Anyway. These are my thoughts. A friend this week said “you want to know who I am? Meet my family.” This has inspired me to say “you want to know who I am? Read my blog.” It has seemed to become a good friend of mine, albeit somewhat unreliable. But I can overlook that.

It has been made painfully aware to me this week that I have a problem giving grace to people. Sorry about that, everybody.