Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Sulli vs Hwayoung - it's a difference in determination levels

It's
fine to say that someone is determined or not determined, but how is
determination itself determined? It's a good question, fortunately
Kpopalypse is determined to determinate determination levels! Read on
for the trufax!

On
the surface it's understandable that f(x)'s Sulli and T-ara's Hwayoung
may seem similar. Both girls have a reputation for being kind of lazy,
not pulling their weight while on the job and jeopardising their
respective groups' careers at one point or another. But how much of
this perception is justified? Let's take a closer look at the behaviour
of both of these idols, so that their determination levels can be
properly assessed.

DIETING HABITS

Everybody knows what Korean idol diets are like - dangerously unhealthy! Most idol diets consist of food that is high in protein and vitamins but very low in carbohydrates, however carbohydrates are essential for correct brain, kidney and nervous system functioning and the side effects of not enough carbohydrates include constipation, fatigue and depression.
Noticing that Hwayoung wasn't performing up to par on live stages and
concerned about the possibility of fatigue brought on by a low
carbohydrate diet, groupmate Eunjung helpfully and caringly used the
guise of a Japanese game show to feed Hwayoung a precious rice cake, a
prized high-carb item usually forbidden by their agency's strict dieting
regimen. Hwayoung ungratefully grimaced through the ordeal, making
rude unpleasant faces - giving away the truth: Hwayoung didn't need any
extra carbs, and was just underperforming due to chronic laziness.
Eunjung's thoughtful gesture was a misjudgement that she surely regrets
to this day as Eunjung has been criticised for this show of extreme
caring and consideration ever since.

LANGUAGE

In
the above video you can clearly hear fucking Hwayoung in the background
swearing her rude little ass off in Korean saying "fuck" (씨발 ssibal) and "that's fucking hilarious" (존나으켜 jonna eukyeo), probably nastily bullying the shit out of somebody behind the scenes, as the lazy slut is known to do.
Who knows, maybe the underpaid staff members deserved it but swearing
in the fucking background while Boram is trying to do a fucking
interview is just being a cunt. Eunjung, once again being the caring
thoughtful member, notices all the fucking bitching and whispers
Hwayoung's name to try and get her to stop the tirade of abuse, but
being a complete selfish cunthole who is lacking in determination to
shut the fuck up when someone else is on camera, Hwayoung pays no
attention and keeps mouthing off like a rude cunting whore.

Here's
Sulli saying "motherfucker" (肏你妈 cào nǐ mā) in Chinese on some TV show
nobody watches. Sulli doesn't even speak Chinese, so firstly she's
showing great determination here to learn foreign languages, something
Hwayoung never noticeably gave a fucking crap about. Also the tone of
Sulli's voice makes it clear that she's not actually directing the
statement at anyone but is just learning the word, probably trying to
differentiate it from the similarly pronounced "grass mud horse" (草泥马 cǎo ní mǎ) so she can promote freedom of expression in China,
very thoughtful of her. Most importantly of all though, she's not
saying it while Boram is trying to do a fucking interview, showing that
Sulli is determined not to be a rude cuntfaced bitch.

Luckily,
here comes thoughtful Boram, to the rescue with a smile on her face and
an umbrella that actually fucking works. Pity that Boram is so short
that she can barely lift her umbrella over Hwayoung's head, but she does
her best to shield her while Hwayoung stands around sullenly, being a
cuntosaurus and acting like everyone else owes her shelter from the
rain. Since when does the shortest person hold an umbrella over the
head of the tallest person?

Sulli
has the right idea about umbrellas - get the taller person to hold it.
If Minho expected Sulli to hold her umbrella over his head, now that
would just be rude, wouldn't it. Of course Minho wouldn't expect that
because he's a nice man who cares about Sulli's welfare and boobs.

Here's
Sulli again with 2PM's Chansung, once again doing it correctly. With a
perfectly intact umbrella, Sulli is determined to show proper OH&S
compliance!

INTERVIEW TECHNIQUE

Here's
Hwayoung in a T-ara interview and it's the typical bullshit type of
interview that all k-pop groups have to do. The standard modus operandi
of this fucking interview wank k-pop groups do is that everyone must
smile all the time, laugh at each other's lame jokes and pretend that
they're the bestest friends in the whole wide world, or pathetic
spoiled entitiled Korean nerds used to having their dicks and clits
sucked constantly through the TV screen have a big old cry. People
complain about my blogging being condescending all the time but the fact
is that my satirical talking-down to cunts is nothing compared to the
ridiculous dumbing-down that k-pop media enforces on viewers, who lap up
the emotionally fraudulent presentations of their idols unquestioningly
(as long as everybody plays by the rules). K-pop TV treats you like
you're a stupid cunt who actually believes that everything in these
groups is happy families all the time. Hwayoung never showed any
determination to burst this particular bubble.

Here's Sulli and Krystal in an interview that was hugely controversial. Why? Because the girls didn't smile 100% of the time,
and occasionally let their real emotions (i.e "wow this is the tenth
interview today, fuck I'm bored, cao ni ma") slip out. These girls are
over the fake bullshit that they're paid to do all day, every day.
Unlike Hwayoung who only had a few months of idol bullshit to contend
with before being thrown away like the dead wood from a fireplace,
Sulli's been doing this bullshit for a lot longer and is a lot more over
it. Imagine having to smile at work like an air hostess does, all the
time. Now imagine that this work never ends - you have cameras on you
at almost all times, superiors to impress, reality TV shows following
your every piss, shit and wank, and a constant facade of a perfect k-pop
angel to deploy over the top of your real personality. If you're
anything like a normal person you'd be ready to go postal on some cunts a
few weeks into it. Just look at the psychological meltdowns people
have on lame reality TV shows where people are cooped up in a house for
only a few weeks together, forced to endure personalities that rub each
other the wrong way, and can't leave. Now imagine that environment is
your entire fucking life. Those people in that room should be grateful that Sulli only
didn't smile a bit, I'm not sure in her shoes if I'd have high enough
determination levels not to take out a kitchen knife and start stabbing
cunts in the face for breathing.

SOCIAL NETWORKING USE

When
the T-ara controversy hit in 2012, one of the wackiest, most deluded
conspiracy theories being spread around at the time by oxygen-wasting
losers was that Hwayoung had buried secret messages
somewhere in her tweets, that could be deciphered by reading them
vertically, as you can see by the screencap above made by some fucking
barking mad nutcase. The tweet above supposedly says "only fans know
(the truth)" if you read the first column vertically, but the value of
the message as anything more than coincidence is easily disproved
because what characters fall into that column depends on what you read
it on.

However, people with true attention to the details that really matter
will notice something else about Hwayoung's tweets in the first
picture, something that should send shivers down the spine of any mortal
on this planet concerned about responsible social networking by Korean
pop idols. Can you see it? Pay attention and look very closely!
That's right it's...

...one
of the most severe examples of EXTREME FUCKING DUCKFACE in k-pop. This
tweet here says "facts without truth" but perhaps it should say "duck
without water" given that her agency told her to waddle off.
Clearly Hwayoung is nothing but trouble and needs to curtail her
Internet use until she can learn to not post mega-ugly duckfaces that
make people lose their lunch.

Hwayoung would do well to adopt Sulli's social networking policy. Take a look at this post from Buzzfeed Koreaboo and all of the many tweets in it. What do all of the tweets
have in common? If you answered "these tweets aren't from Sulli,
they're from some stupid psycho cunt
and some other idiots who are dumb enough to actually give her the time
of day" then congratulations, you are correct! As it happens, Sulli
posts very rarely.

The
tweet from Sulli here says "it's been a long time" and it certainly
has. Sulli clearly doesn't give a cao ni ma about social networking,
posting stupid duckface photos and responding to dickheads, she's too
determined to have a good time nightclubbing, ironing Choiza's shirts and trying to get pregnantholding hands and thinking pure thoughts.

I couldnt agree more with the point you made about how Sulli has been in the business longer.. she's dealt with ll the crap for years.. poor Sulli I hope she her hiatus has allowed her to rest and come back as the beautifulbad bitch she is!