I’ve been in India studying Tibetan for much of the past year and although I’ve learned a lot about the language, I think I’ve learned more about myself.

Take this morning—it was a rough one. I was stressing out about Tibetan (again). I was being too hard on myself. I was comparing myself to other students who seem to be “getting it.”

Why not me? I thought. What’s wrong with me?

And so, reflexively, I started to tell myself stories of doom and gloom.

Where there is nothing but success and the cause for rejoicing, I saw impending failure. Where I should have been proud of myself for all my accomplishments and continued effort, I said “Yeah, but you can do better.”

But the stories weren’t true, not one word of them. They were just distortions of the truth, exaggerations of reality.

In small doses that kind of thinking is fine. It’s good to push yourself after all, to raise the bar in steady increments; you get better that way. That’s the way you attain your goals.

But this morning I was going to far; I was starting to hurt myself and that’s not right.

About Chris Lemig

Chris Lemig isn't afraid of the dark. He dreams in full color and lives out loud. Sometimes, when he sees that your heart is broken, his heart breaks, too. But then he puts all the pieces back together and lets out a great, guffawing laugh that shakes the world to its bones. He loves you even though he's never met you and he wants you to know that you are brighter than the brightest guiding star.
He is the author of The Narrow Way: A Memoir of Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha.