Tag Archives: new years resolution

I hope the beginning of the year has been eventful; a little strange, altogether wonderful and completely in line with how you intended it to be. If it hasn’t, don’t worry; you still have approximately 359 days (I think, my maths is dreadful) to turn it around and become all the things you said you wanted to be.

2015 was (tries to remember the year; they go so quickly these days) an interesting year. It was monumental for many reasons; a lot of ‘firsts’ took place in my life. I grew as a person and, in growing up, I realised that there was much more to do and much more to become. What a humbling experience it is to recognise your potential but also grasp the gulf between where you are, where you could be and where those around you are heading.

2015 wasn’t all roses, growth and the like; there were periods of darkness, of intense sadness, where my faith was tested, my heart was broken and life became a dull, spinning wheel which, to be quite frank, I wanted out of. That’s not to say I wanted to jump off of a bridge, but there were moments where I didn’t feel alive; where life had become a mundane activity, mediocre and (ironically) lifeless.

In these waves of darkness, the notion that life is full of peaks and troughs, rife with ups and downs, was crystallised. No season is permanent, so while there is sun, bask in it; when the rain comes, get out your umbrella and keep walking. If the umbrella breaks, use your hood and if you don’t have a coat, run through the rain as best you can. Whatever you do, don’t stop walking because there will be always be sun. I feel like bursting into a Glee song after writing this paragraph.

As the title suggests, there are some things that weren’t privileged enough to ride on with me into 2016. Here are a few:

GOALS!

I bet you read that in that weird way people are saying it nowadays. If you didn’t, where have you been?! This weird phenomenon took place last year where it became okay to share your heart’s desires (in the form of pictures) with your social networks. Pictures of couples, babies, holidays, outfits and the like were shared with the caption ‘GOALS!’

Abeg, make we stop that this year.

There is no problem with having goals but I think constantly comparing where I was with where the people in the pictures were was harmful. Obviously, I think sharing the goals with EVERYBODY is weird too (I never did), but for me, the most important thing is being content with the progress I’ve made thus far in my life, but also taking steps to where I would like to be. Tweeting a picture of strangers without putting the work in makes the picture a wish, not a goal.

Bad food

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this on the blog before, but I am allergic to all the food most people enjoy. I am not exaggerating. The story of how I came to be this way is a blogpost in itself (one I will probably never write) but the conclusion of the story is that I should stay away from the food I love that hates me. Did I do that in 2015? Of course not. I’m hoping to have more self-control (generally, not just in this area) and stop eating the foods that make me sick.

Ill-fitted clothes

No more buying a size 20/XL because my size isn’t in stock but I don’t feel as though I can live without the item.

Also, to all my beautiful ladies/men out there who buy bigger clothes in order to feel more comfortable and to walk past the mirror without cringing as I once did: push back against the unattainable standard of beauty that exists. You may not feel as though your body is perfect but it is yours. If you need to work out, start. If you want to eat clean, do that! But please stop shaming your body; you’re worth so much more that.

Spending time with people that I don’t want to spend time with

I will no longer spend money meeting up with people I’m indifferent about seeing. It is unfair to you, me, my time and my bank account.

Saying yes when I really want to say no.

I found myself doing 384793467 at once last year because I instinctively say ‘yes’ when I am asked to do something. I want to help everyone but in helping everyone do everything, I found myself burnt out and unable to stand due to exhaustion. My best friend taught me last year that is okay to say ‘no’ and it is okay to admit that ‘I can’t’. What a wonderful lesson.

Being reduced to my mistakes

No longer will I allow others to make my mistakes representative of my character and no longer will I do the same to others.

Inconsistency

Although this is last on my list, it is the most important. Last year, my faith was up, down, all around, fluctuating from week to week. I don’t want that this year.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Matthew 6:33

This verse is my mantra. I am seeking in the hope of finding and reading in the hope of learning. I want to be more. I want my relationship with God to be more.

New year new me has quite literally become my slogan for everything. People offer me unhealthy food and instead of politely refusing I respond with:new year new me. Before people have even finished offering that slice of fluffy red velvet cake smothered in cream cheese icing and I get a chance to start salivating the way you are now, I interject with new year new me.

They follow up with questions…

Oh are you on another diet Dani?

One slice of cake isn’t going to kill you is it?

How long are you going to be on this thing?

Instead of humouring their inquisitions I offer another new year new me and let that be the end of it. To everyone who’s wondering, It’s not just another diet, one slice of cake won’t kill me, but will most definitely lead to another, and I’m going to be ‘on this thing’ for the foreseeable future! Eating well is all part of a lifestyle change that brings me one step closer to being the Dani I want to be.

So we’re five days in and I’m quite proud that I haven’t dropped the ball. I’ve been eating little and often and enjoying getting fuller on less food but I can’t help feel like I’m giving a half truth ( which translates to a complete lie ) when I utter the words new year new me. Yes I’m heading in the slimmer direction but what about the new me that’s closer to God, that’s kinder, more forgiving, reads her bible everyday and meditates on it? What about the new me that’s not afraid to stop a stranger and speak to them about Jesus? What about that girl that’s on fire for Christ instead of the girl in 2014 who was simmering away on low heat?

I want 2015 to really be a new year that produces a new me. I don’t just want it to be the year I got into shape. Knowing me diets will come and go, and weight will fluctuate, but the important changes, the ones that depend on me consciously pursuing my saviour, need to be a no-going-back-can’t-believe-the-girl-I-used-to-be-cheers-to the-girl-God-has transformed-me-into-kind of change.

This year I’m going to step out of my comfort zone and step into my destiny. The destiny that includes spreading the gospel near and far. Rome wasn’t built in a day and I don’t expect to see a miraculous transformation overnight, but this is a declaration of the pursuit of God that starts now.

What are your New Years resolutions? Are they the usual, stop smoking, start the gym, get a better wardrobe kind of changes, or have you decided to make this year, the year that changed it all? God promises a transformation (in Christ there is a new creation, old things are passed away, everything is made new) but what are you going to do to see it happen?

Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God – what is good and well-pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2

When you want to get slim you have to change your eating and adapt your exercise regime. If you want to see a change in your walk with God, you’re going to have to make some changes.

Today I commit to the daily renewing of my mind (opening up my Bible to meditate on the words within)

I used to love sitting in English classes growing up, and learning what all the different literary terms meant. Does that make me kind of neeky? Who cares ?! If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time you’ll know that I’ve come to be at one with the neekiness I exude. Anyway, back to my point, as any true literary neek, I had a few favourites (yes words, I’m not a ashamed to say that I have favourite words) that made me feel super smart just knowing. I’d get a bonus warm fuzzy feeling inside if I could identify them in people’s writing, and then I really hit the jackpot when I managed to use them in mine. I’m sort of drifting off and making this post about my love for English but I promise that it eventually becomes about what 2014 gave me. I would say my top 3 were onomatopoeia, just being able to spell it was a triumph in itself, all the different types of alliteration, and the coolest one of all…oxymoron.

Using moron in a serious piece of work was quite comical but once you get passed the immaturity of a year 7 (is that when you learn these words or have I just revealed the immaturity I tried to suppress?) you realise that oxymorons are just pretty cool all by themselves. How can you be describing a situation or an object as being polar opposite things at the same time and that be the perfect description? The wonder will never leave me on that one, I don’t even think I truly captured just how accurate oxymorons could be until I lived out 2014, which I can only describe as the most famous oxymoron of all time: bittersweet.

I’ll start with the bitter, but I have two disclaimers

1) I have never been a woe is me kind of person and 2014 did not turn me into one

2) This isn’t meant to sound like a moan, it’s merely part of the synopsis of my year.

I think back to who I was at the beginning of this year and the girl that stares back at me in the mirror is not the same. Partly because she’s gained a stone but anyway, new year-new me-better food choices-intense gym workouts… I digress. The girl that started 2014 was confident in her abilities, pretty much had a 5 year plan in place, and was for the first time enjoying university. I had a conditional graduate job in the pipeline, was finally on track to getting those grades that the conditions depended on, and I felt like I’d finally let Jesus sit in the front seat of my life. Then March came and housing issues were forcing me to make decisions that I didn’t want to make.

Every turn seemed scary or selfish and the stability I stood on slipped away from underneath me with a single rose letter. The next blow came a few months later and in the summer the punches came fast and forceful. Grades weren’t met, job offer was revoked and rent and bills reached out their hands while I had nothing in my pockets to fill them with. 2014 was painful, some days I smiled through it and others left me weepy, with my time with Jesus giving me the morsel of joy I used to get through the day. This year there were points when I didn’t think things could get any worse, but if there’s one thing I’ve learnt about God, he will turn your situation around in a matter of moments.

The sweet came in the latter half of the year, just in the nick of time. I apologise in advance for the vomit you may feel as you read this paragraph. Four days after I found out that I hadn’t achieved the grades I’d been praying for and I could only hold my breath as life hung in the balance, I met the guy that became my best friend and my boyfriend all in the next month. Whirlwind romance much?! Waiting for a job and wondering how I would afford to live was coupled with falling in love and wondering how I could be so lucky. There’s a paradox if there ever was one. The good times kept on rolling, when a few weeks later I got a job that would pay me enough of a salary before rent was due. It hasn’t all been hugs and butterflies but the job I started in September taught me so much about what I’d like to do with myself, I can only chuckle at the career plan I started the year with.

So there you have it, the good, the bad, and at points the very ugly. Despite how bad it got, I’m so glad for the things I get to walk into 2015 gaining.

Resilience

But those who wait for the Lord ‘s help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired. Isaiah 40:31

Patience

A person plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Hope

And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose, Romans 8:28

A fresh perspective

Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but he was born blind so that the acts of God may be revealed through what happens to him. John 9:3

Sometimes crappy things happen, the going gets tough and we search for God in the midst of our madness. I know it’s corny but it’s true when they say that without a test you won’t have a testimony. This year I learnt that we live to bring glory to God. It might not be fun, and sometimes it might be we well and truly painful, but the whole essence of our beings has a purpose rooted in bringing God the glory. I just wanna give a shalla to the people that were there for me this year, the friends that gave me a shoulder to cry on, the boyf that gave me his hand to hold, the God that promised this year wouldn’t defeat me. I love you all and I’m so grateful for the gifts that 2014 gave me.