Lonely

by Jane

For months I've kept myself inside the walls of our house. I had 4 months of summer break before college starts. Sure, I went out from time to time but it was only to buy something I needed, or pay the bills, or exercise (swimming), but other than that, I literally have been living day in and day out without talking to anyone (except when people in the house tell me to eat, or ask me something). I have no friends that I can hang out with. (I have friends from school but theirs is not the company I'm looking for. Actually, my problem with friendships go years back and it's quite a long story so that by the time I graduate high school, I have no close or genuine or true friends to speak of.) So here I am, spending my 4 months of break inside our house reading books. For the first few weeks, I had no trouble being alone, in fact, I liked being alone. But the more I spend my time alone without any outside contact, I grow lonely.

This coming August, I'll be going away from home to go to college. When in college, I'll be back to square one. I'd have to meet people, befriend them and look for potential friends. But I've never been fond of meeting new people. I'm scared. I'll be going to this college with some of my high school classmates and some may say that it's good news because then I wouldn't be so homesick because I have them to keep me company, but again, my HS classmates are strangers to me. Also, these classmates of mine have their own 'groups' so yeah, I'm left to myself again.

Comments for Lonely

Its a shame you spent this time on your own. But behind this I am reading that you have always had a problem with friends. I think you are an Introvert. Absolutely nothing wrong with that( read this again- Absolutely nothing wrong with that).

Introverts are in someways fussy about friends, but when they do come across people with the main qualities that they like in a person- its friends for life! I advise reading up on Introverts, its enightening! If you are happy within yourself, if you have the friends you wish for in your life, the rest will follow. Its uncertainty and lack of belonging that make you doubt yourself. Charlotte Bronte wrote' I care for myself. The more Solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself' she did not need to be 'popular' , she was confident in herself. If your mindset develops that way, people will be attracted to you. Good luck

Lonelyby: Kay

Friendship has to be given before it can be received.

I appreciate you have found things difficult but unless you make the effort to make friends you wont have any.

Are there any clubs in your area that you can join? Running, swimming, athletics, somewhere that will enable you to meet other people.

Life is about attititude. I seems to me that you are more than capable of making friends of you make the effort. If you decide to make friends, friends that will stay friends with you, you must give it a go.

You know others that will go to your new school. It already appears that you have decided that you wont be friends with them? Why is this? I am sure if you make the offer of friendship it will be returned.

There will be other students at your new school who will be feeling the same as you do. Determine to speak first to as many as them as you can, in this way you can make lots of new friends.

I offer two affirmations to say daily (for the rest of your life!) in the knowledge that they will help you. "I believe in myself" I have faith in my ability"