Author's infos

It all started when my brother and I went for a walk in the woods. He said something to me and I stuck my tongue out at him and he stepped in and licked my tongue. For a second I didn't know what to do so I licked his tongue back. That started it! As soon as I had done that he pushed me up against a tree and kissed me deeply. I didn't know what to do at first but then I kissed him back deeply. We kissed for a while after that and finally he broke the kiss and said:

"I miss you." I looked at him and could see that he was telling the truth and I said "I miss you too." He started to pull away and I pulled him right back to me and whispered in his ear "No, Stay." right before nibbling gently on his ear. He smiled and slid his hands up my shirt while looking at me and saying: "Oh?" unhooking my bra at the same time. I smiled and nodded and started to nibble down his jawline to his lips and gently kissed him. He reached his hands around me and gripped my ass. I gasped because I was not expecting him to do that and lightly started to grind into him, feeling his hard-on. I watched his face and moaned lightly. I knew what this was doing to him. He reached his hands into my shirt and started to play with my nipples, pinch them and what not, and I started to moan a little louder because I love to have my nipples played with and my brother knew this. After doing this for a while he leaned down and took my right nipple into his mouth and started to lick and suck on it. I moaned even more and started to push his head lightly closer to my nipple. He then pushed his hand into my shorts and start to rub my clit. I moaned and slipped my hands into his pants and started to rub his cock gently at first then a little more quickly. He would press his finger against my clit a little harder and start to rub harder. I continued to rub his cock. He would start to push my shorts down. pushing me back a little so I leaned over and took my shorts and panties off. I went back to rubbing his cock and he stopped me for a moment and took his pants and boxers off.

I smiled at him and got down on my knees and started to lick his cock gently. He gripped my hair gently as I did this. I then took his cock into my mouth and started to suck on his cock as I continued to lick his cock too. He would push my head lightly closer to his cock so that his cock would go deeper in my throat. I started to deep throat his cock, sucking hard. He looks down at me and says sternly "Play with yourself while you suck me off." I look up at him and continue to deep throat his cock while starting to rub my clit lightly at first. He closed eyes and groans, getting close to cumming and pushes my head closer lightly. I continue to suck and lick his cock as I insert one finger into my waiting pussy. He grips my hair harder and pushes my head to the base of his cock in a more rough matter. I let out a gasp and continue to suck his cock hard. "God baby I am going to cum." He said. I stop for a moment and look up at him and say "You know I will swallow your cum." He moans and pushes my head back down to his cock. I stop fingering myself so I can focus on making him cum and suck his cock harder then I did before. He groans as he cums hard in my mouth, I swallow his load and continue to suck his cock, milking his cock for every drop of cum. He groans and cums again, I continue to suck his cock for his cum.

I lick his cock clean after he is done cumming and somewhere through all of that he had fallen asleep. I sighed and sat back on my knees looking at him and thinking. Soon enough I had an idea and took his cock and rubbed it all over my pussy, getting it nice and wet. Then I pushed his cock into my pussy and started to ride him. Well that woke him up and he gripped my thighs and pushed me down on him and after a while he moved me to my back and started to fuck me hard. I started to moan loving the feeling of his cock inside of me. He then decided that wasn't enough and moved my ankles to his shoulders and rammed his cock inside of me and then said "Play with your clit while I fuck you bitch." I listened because I didn't know what he would have done if I didn't. He continue to ram his cock into me hard while I played with my clit. I started to moan from his cock and my fingers and I knew I was getting close and I could feel his cock growing inside of me He rammed his cock into me harder and harder and I started to scream in pleasure being glad we were away from the house so that no one could hear us. He fucked me harder and harder then finally he came hard and the feeling of him cumming and me being so close made me scream at the top of my lungs as I came the hardest I have ever came before. He continued to thrust in and out of me holding me closer.

After he came again inside of me he turned me around, his cock still wet and hard again and pressed his cock against my ass. He pushed his cock inside of my asshole and started to fuck me. I started to somewhat cry as he was doing this because no one had ever fucked me in the ass before. He cooed at me and started to play with my nipples again and that took my mind off of the pain I was feeling. He started to thrust into my asshole faster and grabbed my arm and pushed it down to my pussy and said "Finger yourself now." So I started to finger myself as he continued to fuck my ass. He was getting to the point where he was about to blow again and he told me to rub my clit hard and fast he wanted me to cum with him again. So I did what I was told and he groaned again getting really close. I was getting really close too now. He thrusted in me harder and harder. I started to moan and finger myself and rub my clit faster and faster. Finally he thrusted into me harder and came in my ass just as I came and felt my whole body shudder with delight.

It has potential, though you weren't very descriptive in your language. It would be nice if you could give the story a kind of "natural flow". Flesh it out a bit.
Also character descriptions would probably be a good idea, it doesn't have to be: "5'5" tall, 130 pounds, blue eyes, etc" but some kind of description would be nice, maybe just work it into the story. Ex. tell us that she looks up into his clear blue eyes, or that he brushes her long blond hair away from her face while she's blowing him...
Also, a factual problem which is somewhat off putting and severely challenges the credibility of your story. Men can't have mutiple orgams, like some women are capable of. With training we can learn to stay hard even after we cum, and keep it that way for a while, some even long enough for them to get "naturally" hard again. But most men need somewhere in between 5 and 20 minutes to fully recover after cum'ing.

But it's a nice try. I wish you luck in your future attempts at writing :)

much like everyone else said, you're story does need some build up to it. it has potential to be good. when i open a story, i tend to look at the scroll bar for a quick reference to see how long it is before i read it. the formatting was good and the paragraph length was good. you just need to be more descriptive with the actual sex. also, a character description lets people picture your story more vividly. in the end, it makes it a lot hotter for the reader. good start though. i'm waiting to see how your writing develops.