Saturday, June 27, 2015

When we were last in post-apocalyptic St. Louis, Alak was a hostage of the Almost-Butcher of Tulsa. Rahm Tak, Stahma began Operation: Seduce the Omec, Datak bugged the armory, rendering all of the weapons stored there useless but hey, also get on blowing up the Arch, and Irisa continued to suffer from PTWDS (Post Traumatic World Domination Syndrome.) Let's do this.

Amanda speechifies from the Arch, reassuring the people that they got this, depleted weapons stash be damned (thanks Datak!) Pouring over old records, Nolan comes across a possible salvatin then boom goes the Arch. Well, the Tarrs certainly didn't waste much time there but man is Alak going to be pissed. Instead, let's give a warm Defiance welcome to our new hologram-Overlord...Rahm Tak! I notice how he left out the part about killing all humans in his 'there's nothing to worry about here' introduction. Politicians, man. At Lawkeeper central, Nolan and Amanda decide to roll the dice and chase after the possibly non-existent weapons stash, leaving Irisa and Berlin to search for clues as to who blew up the Arch. Hard to say which of them is least excited about this plan. That's what you get for choking with the game on the line, Irisa.
Alak and Rahm find common ground over human music and Alak, this is how Stockholm Syndrome begins. He finds out that his parents blew up the Arch and is even more bereft over that than his wife dying at his mother's hands and his son kidnapped by his mother in law. Priorities, yo. Your ascension is assured my liege; there's just one small problem: they have an Omec. Well, we have the Tarrs so have them kill him. *Whines* The Enchanters will ruin everything!

Stahma doesn't want to move again; it's too soon. But they have our son! Eh,who cares, he married a human girl and brought shame to us. Wait. What? Stahma, just do it. Fine. She prepares poison for the Omec and will seduce him to use it during coitus thus fulfilling every Castithan school-girl's dream of melding sex and murder. And no orgazmo beads required! Uh, good luck?

I think she's got this.

Amanda and Nolan investigate the location of the secret weapon stash when he's overtaken by a strange feeling in his head. Shake it off man, you're on a mission. Oh look, Biomen. Surprise! Bioman George tells Amanda she reminds him of the girl from the movies. Uh, okay. They've already turned Irisa's story into a movie? That was fast even by alien-Hollywood standards. Belowground is quite the posh set up for everyone's favorite smarmy bastard, Niles Pottinger! He's got Biomen in bow ties and this place is off the chain. Long story short, Cinci was a bust, Detroit blah blah blah then George saved me. That was enterprising of him. Yay?

Berlin and Irisa comb through the Arch detritus when Irisa gets a sudden shooting pain in her head, just like Nolan. No Berlin, it's not a guilty conscience; that affects her trigger finger. They find the radio casing that was used to disguise the bomb so good detective work ladies. It's uncomfortable dinner talk with Pottinger time. He apparently resides in the bunker alone. Just him and his four color-coordinated Biomen. He's up to something; no single guy would ever live in that cultured of a way. I mean, there's not a beer bong in sight! Because he's very smart, he deduces that this is not a social call so why are you here? Well, Tak blew up the Arch, we have no weapons, we need weapons, Bob's your uncle so here we are. Sure, take all you need. George, can you escort Nolan to the armory? I'd like a word with Amanda in private. Nolan, when the Side Braid tells you she's got this, you do not argue, understand? Cue "Spandau Ballet". Jeebus, Niles. Really? So is this a conversation or a seduction? A convoduction then. All right, whaddya got? Stay with me Amanda, here. Permanently. Um, wow. Niles, have you even met Amanda and her Side Braid of Justice? That's not slightly overbearing and creepy. Not at all. Meanwhile Nolan's escort to the weapons room grows four-fold to his complete lack of surprise. Lights out for you my man.

Stahma visits T'evgin for 'culture' lessons. Sure, we'll go with that. She has ZERO left effs to give; she's in it to win it. Over at Bad 80s Den of Seduction (are we sensing a theme here?) Pottinger really thinks that Amanda will abandon her town to burn while she plays 'find the Bioman' with him? For a creepy stalker type person, you sure don't know much about her. You even use the trigger word 'mine'. Hm. Is anyone else's 'danger' alarm going off? She sends him off for for real Scotch, not the bourbon shtako and sends in George to babysit. Dude, it's really hard to take you seriously when your neck is swallowing a bow tie. But enough of that, it's time for some Castithan-Omec shenanigans of the coital kind which involves...humming at each other? When in Rome I guess.... Am I the only one who is wondering if the 'poison' is really birth control? A lavender baby would be hella hard to explain after all.

Nolan wakes up in a cell with Samir, the Veterinarian. He was part of a group of 30 who escaped from New York after the terraforming disaster and saw Pottinger go bat-crap crazy, wiring himself to a singularity bomb. So if he dies, the entire place gets sucked into a wormhole. That's quite a failsafe you've got there Pottinger. Did you have a plan to live forever or had you not got that far in the whole planning process? Upstairs? Outside? Amanda questions George about a curiously locked door and not getting any answers becomes more twitchy which sets off George's alarms. Thank goodness Niles returns with the Scotch then or things might have gotten ugly. Things do, however, get seducey (that is so a word now) where Amanda will stay with Niles if he'll let Nolan get back to town, grab a truck and clear out every weapon he has. Yeah, baby! She goes for his...gun and oh dear. Now this is a situation as she doesn't know about the Immortal/Singularity Failsafe...thing. Open the door Niles and holy Stalker-Con Batman! Pictures of Connor, 'replicas' of the mask and flashlight used to terrorize Amanda in New York, and row upon row of discs. It's footage from her him at the Need/Want wired and stoned and well this is awkward. He was the one who attacked her in New York. Pew! Bullet in the foot. Uh, Amanda...? There is something you should know. The place hasn't been blown to smithereens yet so she's not going to believe killing him would be counterproductive. Nolan? Any time now.

To be fair, I would have killed him too.

While Samir was talking, Nolan disassembled the light fixture and picked the cell lock. Freedom is short lived particularly when engaged in a one-on-one fistfight with a Bioman. Nolan is felled by another searing pain in his head but luckily Samir ties the Bioman up. Literally. Hm, Irisa has been experiencing similar episodes - could it be linked to the Votan survival pod they were holed up in for seven months?

Niles, for Pete's sake just confess to what we already know but because he feels secure in his failsafe, he keeps pushing the limits. And Amanda keeps shooting. She's going to run out of extremities to aim at shortly so just say it already man! Just as Nolan bursts into the room with Samir, yelling at her not to kill him, she takes the kill shot. Down goes Potty! It's time to get the hell out of Dodge, er, old weapons depot. My god, he's creepy even in death. The singularity starts to pull him apart and must go faster, must go faster..... Alas, they can't even take advantage of his being All Dead to go through his pockets for loose change. A fitting end for you, Niles Pottinger; a coward to the core.

Stahma wakes up in T'evgin's studio. Pancakes? And would you like a needle with them? You're not the first Casti concubine to try to murder me. You all know nothing about my physiology and he likes it that way. Omec are very old and the older they get, the harder they are to kill. So why do you want me dead. She actually doesn't T'evgin. She's completely out of effs to give, except in the literal sense. Shall we play again? I'm not Omec, granted, but that seems to be a strange response to a would-be assassin but you do you.

Mmm Deception is better with syrup.

Irisa and Berlin have it out. Finally. But the epic slap-fest is interrupted by Irisa's extreme head pain. Amanda, Nolan, and Samir head back to Defiance without any weapons when Nolan's overcome by the same head-pain as Irisa, Something in their heads is killing them. Irisa stumbles outside and writhing in pain, whispers for Berlin to help her. You get three guesses as to whether she does and the first two don't count.

See? I told you.

Next week Nolan and Irisa are close to death (again) and need Doc Yewll to save them (yeah, she'll get right on that), Stahma wants Datak to trust her and Alak is working on the chain gang. Things are heating up so make sure you tune in to Syfy on July 3 for 'History Rhymes' at 8 p.m ET.