I’m answering your biggest question

“You are so lucky to have this dog.” “I wish I could bring my dog everywhere like you do”. Those sentences are what I always hear from people. Even if it might be true (because most of the time it’s nice to have my dog around) there’s a reason behind all of this that is not as nice as it sounds. I think it’s really important for people to understand why I’ve got a service dog because a lot a people think that I don’t need a service dog… Not every disability is visible.

This is why today I’m gonna talk about why I’ve decided to have a service dog.

I’ve always dreamt of
having a dog but it was a big no for my parents. Now that I’m on my own I was
thinking about getting one for a long time. But in an apartment, it’s a little
bit harder… So I’ve decided to wait until it is the right time, because let’s
say it A PET IS FOR LIFE.

A year ago, I adopted
my first little puppy on a shelter. It came from nowhere but at the same time
not at all. I’ve talked about it so many
times.

First thing first, did
you know that you can have a service dog for mental health? Well, I didn’t…
I’ve learned it a year ago in fact. For the past 7 years I’ve been suffering
without any solution that worked for me… It’s a damn long time when you could have
had the solution for your problem, but sadly I think it wasn’t a possible/known
thing yet.

As you already know,
I’ve been suffering from GAD and PTSD for several years now. Not everybody
understands exactly what it does really mean, and I get it because it’s just
started to be more common to talk about it; before it was a taboo subject. I
have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks and now agoraphobia due to those
problems… Though it first started with a panic attack.

Let’s tell you how I
found out about it… It could be an entire post about that but I’m gonna try to
make it short. At first, I didn’t know what it was all about. I was dizzy but
didn’t understand why. I had to go to the hospital at least 7 times before
knowing what it was. The first time, the doctor told me I had hypoglycemia …
without any testing… I’ve tried to change my diet but didn’t have the right
information neither knowing why I had this illness. Fast, I’ve realized that my
symptom didn’t stop at all. In fact, it was worst. One night, I had to go to emergency
because I couldn’t breathe and my heart was beating really fast. I thought I
had a CVA or heart attack. I’ve been to the hospital to be told I had nothing
and sent back home without any testing. I was panicking. I was convinced that I
had something really dangerous, but doctors just couldn’t see it. I was dying
but nobody cared. It goes on like that. Once the doctor did some test to see if
it could be something but, in the end, told me that I was crazy… THE THING THAT
YOU SHOULD NOT TELL A PERSON WITH A PANIC ATTACK. It made it worst, of course.
I was sure I was going crazy for real. Like I lost my mind and I was imagining
all of this. After more visits to the hospital, I have met ONE female doctor that
took me seriously. She did test me to make sure that my heart was fine and
other big stuff like that. After a lot of tests, she took the time to sit with
me and talk about mental illness. More specifically panic attack. She prescribed
some drugs to help me deal with it for at least a month. It was a big deal for me since I finally knew
what was wrong with me. I WASN’T CRAZY THANK YOU! Now, I had to learn how to
deal with this illness. I was lucky because at first I had all psychologist
treatment paid with school so it was easier to get better. I was feeling better
after a couple of weeks, but I simply learned how to deal with it partly. But then,
I had to go to university and had no more free treatment. Yes, I had insurance
but, it was way harder to have the full support I needed because I didn’t have
the money for my health. So of course, everything went back to the beginning
and even worst.

You might still wonder why I needed a service
dog. I’ll tell you about it but first remember that it can be different for
everybody.

At first, it was just
hard to wake up and to go to bed plus, of course, the basic panic attack.
Wasn’t really nice but still I was able to deal with it. Except I wasn’t really
going to school because I had to choose where my energy would go. Work was my
focus because I needed money to live. What you need to understand is that less
energy I have, more panic attack I have. You also need to understand that money
is also an anxiety fact … so it’s hard to decide where’s your energy’s going.
At some point, it was so hard to balance between work, school and social life
that I could barely do anything else than the thing that I had to do: work and
school (when I had the energy). Until the end of the year where I had a breakdown.
A total breakdown, I totally lost it. Sincerely, I can’t remember what really
happens because I wasn’t there. I had so many panic attacks and anxiety that I
wasn’t in my body anymore. It was like I was seeing stuff but couldn’t do
anything. When you are having panic attack and anxiety, it’s like you’re no
more in your body. Imagine being like that all the time. It’s awful! It’s when
my psychologist thought it would be a good idea for me to take pills. In fact,
it could have been a great idea except it was maybe better for panic attacks
and anxiety but I was depressed. Finally, it was almost worst. So, I’ve stopped
it because it wasn’t what I wanted. Anxiety seems like a better option. Well …
not really but it’s been a better one for me.

After that moment, I
had to take time off school because it was too much for me. I’d decided to move
to another city to try to start over. I thought that I was hoping that with
moving someplace else all of my problems wouldn’t come back. But I was wrong.

I’m gonna skip a lot
of details because it could be a story of 100 pages. I could tell you all the
reasons of why it became that bad but it’s always the same pattern. No energy,
more panic attack and anxiety, and avoiding any circumstances that could be a
trigger.

Instead, I’ll tell you what leads me to have a
service dog.

I was 25 years old and
not doing anything anymore because I was too scared of having another panic
attack in a public area. What a life… This is why psychologist and I decided
that having a service dog could help me to have a normal life again and having
a support all year long. I said earlier with meetings every week it’s easier to
be better. But when you don’t have the money to do it, you’re alone… All by
yourself living awful feelings. When I was almost done with my psychologist
meeting, I was always crying like a baby because I knew it was the time where I
would be all by myself not knowing what to do with all of those problems. But
this year it was a different. One day, I met this girl at the dog park that
told me about a service dog. I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I was
so amazed that I looked on YouTube what was a service dog for mental health.
The first thing that made me cry was the pressotherapy video. When I was having
panic attack heavy things on me would help me feel better but you don’t always
have someone around to something to help you. And when you do… I wouldn’t ask them
to lay on me to calm me… SO IMAGINE HAVING A DOG DOING IT. After that, I looked
at some many videos. I wanted one so badly now.

My psychologist was on
board and it seems like a really good option for me. There was only one bad
thing… I already had a puppy. Where I am from there are a lot of rules to have
a service dog. One of them it’s that it has to be from an organization. But
they don’t accept your dog. I was so sad because I was not ready to have
another dog… I’ve learned about the service dog too late. I was devastated.
Until, I’ve talked to this girl. She had her own organization but it was really
far from my place. But it was my only shot. She would accept my dog if he passes
the test.

AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID!!!!!

My story has a good ending. Ok, not true this is just the beginning of my journey. 😉

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The Rebelle On My Way blog. The place where you can find everything you’re looking for. Want to try new things? You are at the right place. Everything happens for a reason, this is why you are here today.