A Butcher In Seattle Is Selling Marijuana-Infused Bacon, Because This Is America

In what I can only assume is an attempt to lock up this year’s coveted Coolest Butcher in America Award, Seattle butcher and BB Ranch owner William Von Schneidau did something it took the human race entirely too long to accomplish: make marijuana-infused bacon.

How does one make marijuana-infused bacon? Excellent question.

He took the leftovers from a medical marijuana grower, had it fed to pigs, and soon they were here in his shop, bringing a whole new meaning to the idea of the “pot-bellied porker.”

Hahaha, great joke, the news. Anyway, as I’m sure you can imagine, the product was a runaway success, causing Von Scheidau to, in his own words, “run out of meat.” But more importantly, does it, like, get you high?

“I ate it and I don’t feel a damn difference,” said Von Schneidau.

Fair enough. But I vote we get our girl Addy on this, just to be sure. After all, she’s in the area.

In drug education they taught us that it accumulates in fat cells, though my guess is that you’d have to have some stoned-ass pigs for enough to accumulate and be passed on and cause an effect in humans. And man, would those stoned-ass pigs be hungry…and if you just fed them more weed, they’d get even hungrier…and…man…it’s, like, a full circle, man…