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Topic: Shared Room and Snoring (Read 39239 times)

I am A. I snore. Loudly. My older dd will not share a room with me because I snore so loudly. I warn people before we go on a trip if we have to share a room, and tell them to bring earplugs if the noise will bother them. In this case, if there was no warning from A, B should have tried earplugs, if that didn't work then fissure out room cost situation prior to switching.

I snore because of allergies. At home, I think I have the situation pretty much under control, with decongestants and antihistamines and a few other techniques.

But traveling? In an area with different allergens than I'm used to? With hotels that have scented cleaners and detergents and the like? Usually my allergies react badly to all that. I do everything I can to reduce/eliminate the snoring, but I warn people ahead of time that it could happen.

Frankly, I try to avoid sharing a room just to prevent comments about the snoring. I'd rather pay full price for the room than have to listen to comments about my snoring for the next several months.

So there's a good possibility that A either doesn't know he snores or that he thinks the snoring is under control. First step should have been to talk to A about the problem. Then ear plugs if possible. But expecting A to pay for half of a very expensive room--that was B's choice, and B should pay.

I don't know if I'm coming at this from a different perspective as a snorer, but I think B has very little legroom here.

1. I think even if there were another standard room available, B would be a little out of line for even asking A to cover the entire cost of the first room if they had previously agreed to split the cost of a twin room, let alone expecting it. Asking A to cover the entire cost of the original room plus half the cost of the new room would be so totally out of line that I assume the OP means the former (i.e. that they split the cost of both rooms). I still think this would be out of line as an expectation.

2. If B did ask A to split the cost of a suite and A agreed, I don't know by what grounds A would not be entitled to take the nicer room.

Snoring is not something people can control, it's not always something that people know they do, and it's sometimes exacerbated by sleeping in a different bed. I think if you agree to split the cost of a room with someone who you've not shared with before, you should expect that snoring is a possibility. And, as others have said, earplugs, headphones, are a better solution than changing room.

If you have problems such as allergies/hard to fit, you might be able to find the best selection of earplugs at a health and safety supply store. You can get different materials and sizes, as well as plugs rated to drop the noise by various amounts.

If a person is single and lives alone, they may not even know that they snore. People are only aware of their snoring because someone else told them. And allergies, dry air, ect can cause a person to snore, when they regularly don't.

Another reason I think B was out of line is that B booked the room without consulting A and then asked A to split the cost. Or at least that's how it reads to me. I think it's one of those things you just learn from and don't book with A again in the future and learn to ask if potential roomies snore.

I have a question about ear plugs. It seems like in every thread we have about snoring, getting ear plugs is suggested as a way to tolerate the problem.

Whenever I have worn ear plugs, I can hear myself breathing. That is as distracting to me as hearing someone else snoring. I can't sleep if I can hear myself breathing, so ear plugs wouldn't work for me. Besides that, I find them uncomfortable.

B is out of line. I've been B and while it's frustrating, that's the risk one takes when sharing a room. If B wants to change rooms, it's on B.

Now, if A knows that he/she snores regularly, I do think A should try to get a single room at the outset or at the very least warn B. However, people don't always realize that they snore loudly or it may only happen occasionally because of a cold, allergies, or air quality.

I went to a hobby convention once where it was common for people to share rooms to save on cost. Most people had three roommates (4 to a room), but I wanted my own bed even though I knew it would double my cost. Plus, I was 6 months pregnant and had some insomnia, and I generally toss and turn for a bit before falling asleep. I didn't want to subject someone else to my tossing and turning.

So I found someone else who would share a double with me. She was very nice. Then came the first night. Oh, MAN, did she snore!! I'd started wearing those little foam earplugs to bed b/c my DH snores, but I didn't have any since he wasn't with me. She snored so loudly, I thought it was really my DH (seriously sounded like him). So with insomnia and then the snoring once I actually could fall asleep, it wasn't a good situation.

So I schlepped out of the tourist area and found a pharmacy and bought some of those little foam things. HEAVEN!! I still had insomnia, but I eventually slept so soundly that I didn't wake up until about 9 a.m. and was late for the session the next day. Roomie even tried to wake me up and I never heard her! I never confessed to her that she snored b/c I couldn't think of a good way to put it, and the earplugs did help.

I'm so used to the earplugs after years of snoring that I even like to use them now when he's not with me.

Re: the original story, I think B should have tried some earplugs or done something before it got to a blow-up point.

I have a question about ear plugs. It seems like in every thread we have about snoring, getting ear plugs is suggested as a way to tolerate the problem.

Whenever I have worn ear plugs, I can hear myself breathing. That is as distracting to me as hearing someone else snoring. I can't sleep if I can hear myself breathing, so ear plugs wouldn't work for me. Besides that, I find them uncomfortable.

Are ear plugs really a good solution?

I think wearing them in general is something to which you have to get habituated, but if they're uncomfortable, you're perhaps wearing the wrong size or type.

I agree with those who have said asking B to contribute to the second room is out of line. I also agree that if A knew her snoring was extreme, she should have mentioned it up front -- but as others have said, she may not have known.

As an aside, I've always hated sleeping with earplugs in, but I've found using my ipod with a good noise-blocking soundtrack to be quite helpful.

I have some that are white/pink/brown noise (brown noise is great if you hate the hissiness of white noise) and some that are nature sounds -- rainstorms or babbling brook sounds really work for me in hotels or visiting my snoring family. The only problem is I have to get up more to pee, from listening to all that water but it's worth it!

I have a question about ear plugs. It seems like in every thread we have about snoring, getting ear plugs is suggested as a way to tolerate the problem.

Whenever I have worn ear plugs, I can hear myself breathing. That is as distracting to me as hearing someone else snoring. I can't sleep if I can hear myself breathing, so ear plugs wouldn't work for me. Besides that, I find them uncomfortable.

Are ear plugs really a good solution?

I'm exactly like you. I'm such a light sleeper that I can't wear earplugs due to the sound of my breathing. It wouldn't matter if I could find a comfortable pair. I also wouldn't be able to hear the alarm I use so they aren't an option.This is why it's on *ME* to get my own room when travelling. I know I can't share with a snorer so I am willing to pay extra.When my husband starts snoring I can just give him the "elbow" and he changes positions and stops. I can't do that with someone else.

My fiance snores like a freight train. I can sleep through it some nights, but many nights it wakes me up. I keep a pair of silicone earplugs close at hand. It muffles the sounds to a manageable level. I had to get used to the sound of my own breathing, but within a few nights, it has not been a problem.

I am quite surprised by the answers here putting it on B to deal with the snoring issue. B was definitely wrong to expect A to pay for the 2nd room, but A was wrong being a snorer to share a room with B. I don't buy A doesn't know she snores.

B has been put in a position of no sleep because of A's problem. It is not on B to just suck it up and deal with it. A should have warned B to give B a fair chance to agree (or not) to share a room. It is not fair to B to have to lose sleep because of A's snoring.

B did not handle it well, but as a very light sleeper and a middle aged woman with middle aged woman sleeping issues (and lack thereof), it is VERY frustrating not being able to sleep b/c of someone else.