Commentary, sarcasm and snide remarks from a Florida resident of over thirty years. Being a glutton for punishment is a requirement for residency here.
Who am I? I've been called a moonbat by Michelle Malkin, a Right Wing Nut by Daily Kos, and middle of the road by Florida blog State of Sunshine. Tell me what you think.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Today's winner is Jonathan Lafever. He gets the award for the following.

BUSHNELL -- When employees at Wal-Mart saw a man wandering around their store with bloodstained clothes early Monday morning, they became suspicious and called police.

But Jonathan Lafever hadn't been wounded in a fight or from a gunshot -- he was just snakebit, authorities said.

They said Lafever, 20, stole five snakes -- including two poisonous rattlers -- from a nearby residence and was apparently bitten during the robbery.

A Sumter County deputy sheriff searched Lafever's silver Mitsubishi Eclipse and found boxes containing two venomous rock rattlesnakes, a Honduran milk snake, a rat snake and a Southern hognose snake.

The snakes apparently came from a backyard shed at Jack Hildreth's Bushnell home. The Sheriff's Office said the shed's aluminum door was ripped open and five snakes were stolen between 2 and 3 a.m. A sign in red block letters attached to the shed warned of venomous reptiles.

"The guy opened up the cages, took what he wanted and took off," Hildreth said. "I've got an albino boa that's 6 feet long. If the guy knew what he was doing, that would have been a good snake to grab."

Two of the snakes found in Lafever's car were returned to Hildreth immediately. The other three were kept to help identify which type got Lafever, who was airlifted to Orlando Regional Medical Center for anti-venin treatment.

This story leads to many punchlines- Fangs for nothing, Taking a bite out of crime, or if the thief was bit in the chest then we could say Fangs for the mammaries. I'll let my readers think up some more, but first I make Jonathan Lafever today's Knucklehead of the Day.