There’s no punch line, and it isn’t a joke. We interrupt our regularly scheduled wildlife management topics to bring you the downright odd and strange from the even stranger “left coast”. A tried and true W.T.F. moment, if I do say so myself.

In what is clearly an unfortunate sign of the times, a San Francisco McDonald’s chain restaurant became the center of attention last Sunday after a man entered the establishment and slapped a dead raccoon down on a table. It brings new meaning to “did you want fries with that?”

In fairness, I’m not so sure a dead raccoon is really the worst thing to grace the inside of a fast food joint. San Fran’s Department of Health finally gave the “all clear” to operate the establishment as usual, three days after the animal’s carcass was introduced. The burger joint closed as a result of the incident, but reopened hours later after a thorough scrub-down, according to news sources.

Inevitably, police responded to the scene. The SFPD told Fox News that the man who allegedly brought the carcass into the McDonald’s “didn’t meet the criteria” to be taken into custody for mental health detainment, and was released on scene.

Maybe it was an “emotional support raccoon carcass”; who are we to judge?

Photo | Facebook video

It is unknown at this time how the raccoon met its fate - although a blood trail throughout the establishment is evident in the video, suggesting a fairly fresh “end” to the urban furbearer. Given the locale, we’re going with roadkill - but that’s purely well-intentioned speculation. The video was recorded by a bystander and broadcast live on Facebook. As the video awkwardly continued, the raccoon’s remains were picked up by another unidentified individual with gloves, and promptly discarded in a trash barrel outside of the establishment.

While most would regard this behavior as strange, the incident is just the latest in an ongoing string of drug addicted and mentally-ill homeless locals lashing out in front of patrons, according to a followup report with SF restaurant owners.

Raccoon, when prepared properly, is considered a desired source of table-fare in many parts of rural America. For the majority of the “free spirited” and “upper crust” in San Fran however, this probably isn’t the “locally sourced organic” fare many had in mind. If it was braised and came with a sixty-dollar price tag at one of those upscale joints - well, now we may be on to something. “Raccoon-a-le-roadsmear with a rich Chianti!”

Now, someone go skin that bugger out and get its hide on a stretch board before it gets green-belly!