Magic Band-Aids For Scab-Pickers Like Me

Every person has a personal vanity, a favorite feature that needs to be accented and perfected in order to feel beautiful. I always love reading articles about some idiosyncratic fragrance that smells powdery and mysterious, or a makeup indulgence that feels sultry and luxurious. Beauty is whatever makes you comfortable and confident--we've all got our thing, ya know?

But sometimes shit happens and our vanity is disrupted.

Last week, we Chicagoans were treated to a weather cocktail of one part overcast clouds, one part high humidity, and two parts terribly hot weather stirred with 20 mph winds and garnished a thunder storm.

The upside to this weather is that I’ve been able to wear my favorite sundresses and shorts while biking to and from work. I am seriously vain about my legs. They are my force majeure, my créme de la créme, the pan to my au chocolat. L’JAMES, C’EST MOI! You get the idea. I really like my legs because they are strong and can take me places that sell chocolate and croissants.

I can also be a total baby when they get hurt. Every time I fall down, I disinfect, apply antibiotic cream, and cover the scrape with a bandage. Inevitably, the bandage will slide off my leg of its own accord, either two sweaty bike-miles later or in the shower that evening. After a day or two of bandage slippage, I give up and let the wound scab over. Then I’ll alternate between rubbing and picking at the scab until I get the worst scarring over what was originally the tiniest of scrapes. It’s a pathetic cycle, but I can’t stop.

Or at least I couldn’t until my boyfriend recommended Band-Aid Advanced Healing Blister Cushion thing-ums. Seriously, there aren’t enough gifs in the world to tell you how I feel about these bandages. It’s like a euphoric blend of manic kitty, enthusiastic Emma Stone, and cultish adoration.

These cushions come with instructions that I read first and was glad that I had. You should never cut these bandages because they will leak advanced healing magic all over and nobody wants that. They are also not recommended for folks with diabetes, fragile skin, or circulation problems.

Let me show you how they work.

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This is me being a total dope and walking up the stairs immediately after I fell.

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And this is a close-up of the wound. It’s not terribly big or deep, but like I said, I’m a total baby. I quickly applied rubbing alcohol to the wound and surrounding area and let it dry for a minute.

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I only had the smaller finger/toe version of the Advanced Healing Blister Cushions on me at the time, so I covered the wound as best I could and went to the kitchen to make a sandwich.

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This is where shit gets cray. Four hours later, the blister cushion starts to get puffy. It turns white around the wound area and swells up. What’s happening? Science? Advanced Healing?

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I went to bed and woke up to this on my leg. The puffiness had spread so much that something leaked out from underneath. I don’t know if it was pus or advanced healing, but it was gross and I loved it. These Advanced Healing Blister Cushions are so freakish and weird that I am perfectly happy poking the the puffy white part and don’t miss picking scabs at all.

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Two full days after the initial application, I peeled off the cushion because the side leakage was kind of gross. This was how it looked underneath. I have markings from the compression bandage I applied to help with the swelling.

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Slap a Band-Aid on that, stat! You needn’t apply more rubbing alcohol at this point because that would just kill the new skin growth.

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These cushions had really good staying power. This picture was taken 9 days after application, and as you can see, only the edges have peeled up a little. Again, I’d rather poke at the puffiness than pick at the edges. It’s like Band-Aid knew they were dealing with my demographic.

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Ta da! A full 14 days after I fell walking up the stairs, the wound has healed over perfectly! The scarring is minimal and I imagine with careful SPF application and rose hip oil massages, it will fade over time.

I’ve never used these on actual blisters, as per their intended use, but they’ve worked swell on small cuts and scrapes. I love them so much that I carry one in my bike essentials kit. Thanks to these little buddies, my legs are gonna be scar-free all summer long.

Have you ever used these magic Band-Aids? Are you an obsessive compulsive scab-picker, too?