DNA Evidence Conclusively Proves Jesus Not Gods Son

"Jesus? Never heard of the lad. Now pass me that wrench, like a good boy" - God busy at work on the wife's car

In a further crushing blow to the credibility of the Christian Church, molecular biologists at the University of Adelaide, Australia have announced that DNA results prove conclusively that Jesus Christ could not have been God's son.

"We took a sample of DNA from the famous 'Jesus diaper' which was discovered in a Bethlehem stable and compared it with Gods DNA we took form one of the thumbprints he left on the 10 Commandments", said Professor Sheila Strewth, "there's not a bloody chance in hell that the two were related, mate".

Pope Benedict XVI is said to be in a state of shock once again. Previously he reacted badly to rumors that Jesus was not the Son of God, prompting him to join a hippy cult and move to San Francisco. He only returned a few months ago after being offered a large pay increase and his own clothing line fashion house based in Milan.

"This evidence is pretty damning", said a Vatican Spokesman, "ah, well. It was good while it lasted".

Some 'unscrupulous' minor Christian-based religions have already dumped the whole Jesus-thing and moved over to Moses, Jeremiah and even Harry Potter.

Publishers are worried that this story may affect sales of the new release of the New Testament Bumper Pop-up Edition, which goes on sale later this week.

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