Movie Review: Wedding Crashers

True story: a group of dudes crashed my finlaws’ wedding. Before they could even make it to the bar, they got hit with the “who are you?” confrontation. By the groom. They were escorted out a few seconds later. The moral: crashing weddings is not only wrong, it is stupid.

The movie Wedding Crashers is both wrong AND stupid, and not just about the advisability of sneaking in uninvited to weddings. The premise of crashing weddings as sport pisses me off not only because it glorifies lying and stealing, but because most of the characters’ motivation for crashing is that women at weddings are “so aroused by the thought of marriage that they’ll throw their inhibitions to the wind.” They’re crashing weddings because it is an easy way to get laid. Yes, it’s much easier to get a woman into bed by doing extensive research, crafting a false persona, ingratiating oneself to a large group of strangers at a private event, and spouting lies about one’s military service than it is to, I dunno, go on freakin’ Craigslist and find out who else in the city is horny that night. Or god forbid, to actually bother to date.

Insisting that casual sexual encounters with women requires detailed subterfuge is so dehumanizing and sad. You know what else is dehumanizing and sad? Making the subject of women’s sexuality out to be inherently comedic. See the slapsticky subplot about Isla Fisher’s Gloria, a character saddled with stereotypes from both sides of the virgin/whore dichotomy. She also rapes Vince Vaughn’s character, which is played for laughs. Because what was missing from all the other wedding comedies out there? Rape! Vince Vaughn even becomes the Laura to her Luke and marries her after he finds out she wasn’t a virgin after all (Verdict: prude chicks are worse than rapists). She was lying about being a virgin, because sexually aggressive women are unstable. Normal chicks will only accept sexual advances, not make them, and only after being sufficiently hoodwinked.

Also hilarious: Jane Seymour making sexual advances to Owen Wilson. Those cougars! They think they could possibly be attractive even though they are old! That’s really funny, right? Not as funny as the rapping granny having sexual fantasies about FDR and calling Eleanor Roosevelt a “rug muncher” at the dinner table.

Which reminds me: homosexuality is also inherently comedic, and gay people are as socially inappropriate as sexually-forward women. So when Gloria’s little brother climbs into bed with Vince Vaughn, who is still tied up from being raped, he doesn’t, you know, acknowledge the ropes, and he certainly doesn’t take an explicit denial of consent at face value. It would be a lot funnier if he kept on hitting on Vince and then hid in a closet when his dad barged in. Yes! Literally! Chucklez!

So, yeah, this movie makes me want to barf, and I guess it is because I’m a humorless feminist who can’t enjoy anything. It was a huge hit among fun-loving American movie goers, and I can see why people would like it. Wedding Crashers is funny despite the despicable worldview that directs it to most of its comedy. If I watched it under the influence of enough cold medicine (or internalized misogyny) such that my troublesome feminist brain didn’t get in the way, I’d probably enthusiastically recommend it.

But, as it stands, this movie makes me want to retire from blogging about wedding movies and/or humanity.

What are finlaws? I’m not sure you’ve used that term before here, but I might’ve missed it.

The one thing I felt somewhat redeemed the ridiculousness of the premise was I think there was some acknowledgement and self-awareness that these guys were total losers for indulging in this “sport,” after they showed that funeral guy.

You make a decent point about the funeral guy, but the fact is he still successfully meets women that way. It doesn’t really change how the movie depicts women, just how it judges the men who go after them.

True. Modern gender equality: let’s judge and objectify everyone now, not just women!!!

And +1 to what BirdRoughsIt says below. Have you thought about reviewing the American Pie wedding movie? I watched the first two, I think, and thought they were actually on the better end in terms of its treatment of the female characters in this genre of gross-out boy movies.

Don’t retire from movie reviews! They are funny and make me rethink things, even when I consider myself really critical! I thought this movie was funny and have seen it, like, 4 times; I will probably never watch it again. And that’s important! I mean, if smart angry feminists aren’t picking up on these HUGE things (virgin/prude thing especially jumps out at me… interesting (and well articulated!)), we need SOMEONE to point it out to us. And then movies will get better and all will be well in the world?

I work with a guy who hooked up with his soon-to-be-wife at a wedding. After the wedding where they hooked up, he was calling her “A Stage Five Clinger”. Now they live together and just got engaged. Yeah, he’s stupid. It’s sad that movies like this give some guys something evil to look up to.

yes! thank you for putting this into words. I could only come up with one: stupid. I saw this one in the theater on a slow night with the boy. We spent the entire time looking at each other incredulously about why the rest of the audience was roaring with laughter.

I agree with the reviewer completely. I’m amazed how many people think this stupid movie is funny. I doubt anyone over 30 years old would find it funny; it’s only for the 15-30-year-old frat boys who think having sex no matter how you can get it is the most important thing in life. Anyone with a brain and compassion would see this movie is a total waste of time.

It’s strange I find myself in almost perfect agreement with a feminist!

This movie was horrible. I agree with everything you said but also would add, it’s funny how the wealthy and powerful are- I believe- completely and ignorantly stereotyped. What else can we expect from .. well I honestly do not want to sound racist or anti-semitic but hollywood is not run by gentiles and that’s a fact, and maybe that’s why the filth, I mean the film industry seems to delight in overturning our western cultural values and subvert and corrupt our young.

Yes I agree with you completely, dear blogger. Lying to get laid is defrauding a woman in the deepest degree, cheating her, cheating oneself even. I don’t think many men would do this ladies. Hollywood always uses the worst examples to play their roles. I think Vince and Owen are sell outs to this industry. What was their price for agreeing to corrupt and deceive the young? Women should be treated with respect and honor and dignity, and I think most men do or at least try to. Lying to get laid is spitting on love, not to mention the profanity these guys utter. They are 100x worse than the 40 year old virgin. Nobody owes anyone sex– except in my opinion if you’re married, in which case you do. I saw this movie on an airplane and I didn’t get to see the end. I disagree with feminists on so much that it’s nice when I can stand side by side in complete agreement with one, because there are many values and views we share indeed. These people who make and act in this are sick or evil or both. Paradoxically I liked watching this so I could have something to criticize, but I hate to see this type of thing happen in real life. keep spreading love and wisdom in the world, beautiful people