I'm here I'm here. Sorry Pup, I missed your tech problem. Go ahead and take a few polaroids of the screen that is giving you the problem and drop it in the mail. If you think they are good enough quality stop by Kinkos and see if they have something called a fax machine.

Lars - I think your "do some shots and kick the shit out of each other in the muni lot" plan is the tops. In The Quiet Man, John Wayne and some dude beat the holy hell out of each other from one side of Ireland to the other, but not without stopping in at a pub for some suds. I'm not sure how it ended but I'm sure they emerged best of friends.

I hear about f-ing John Wayne and Elvis everytime I listen to Chuck D and Flava spittin' Fight the Power.

Don't worry CDT, PE is down with you 'cause they say motha fuck him and John Wayne.

Mother is probably having a fried PB and banana sammich in honor of the king dying on his throne this morning.

Galley Boys are slop on top of a so-so burger and a bun you coulde get from a Covneninet food mart generic pack. They the Antoine Joubert of burgers; soft, sloppy, oozing grease and cheap sauce and extremely overrated by a biased fan base. Proof that if you throw enough cheap sauce shit on a burger you still can't overcome the lame burger. -JB

He doesn't seem like a bad guy to me. Maybe you just haven't found common ground, and maybe you haven't worked hard enough to improve your relationship. I mean, yeah, he could be a jerk, or lonely, or repressed, or have mental issues, but it is also possible he's smarter than you all and gets tired by your banal and naive takes.

My suggestion is that you try to find something on which you agree, and build off that. Or go get ridiculously hammered together. And if that fails, meet each other in the Muni lot, do some shots, and then beat the living shit out of each other. Sometimes a good bloodbath is the only way to heal wounds.

Not much to do with being a bad guy, just the anger. Dealing with stupid people is relative and something just about everyone has to deal with. It seems that stupid people are omnipresent, their depth of their numbers unfathomable. At some point you'd think one would be accustomed to occasionally being more knowledgeable about this or that subject. Perhaps it’s when you believe yourself to be so far beyond the ordinary that you guard the perception so jealously.

My suggestion is modern pharma.

"When a man with money meets a man with experience, the man with experience leaves with money and the man with money leaves with experience."

FUDU wrote:Lars, are you going to be our Ann Landers? B/C I gotta tell ya I always wanted to cut her head off and stick it in a camera bag.

<------- is German.

Ann Landers is an insufferable bore who just spews the same load of banal tripe into her column every week and then cashes her paycheck like a thief. The first one was that way, and her daughter is that way as well. The writing and counseling genes in that family are non-existent. Seriously, you write an advice column, and the best you can do is "go to a counselor" 90% of the time? Lazy bitch. If the person really wanted to see a counselor, they wouldn't be writing anonymously to some hag in the newspaper. Take a shot at giving an answer. Worst that can happen is you encourage a little eugenics and some of the weaker members of society get removed from the gene pool.

Oh, psst - if her column gets to you that badly, you don't have to read it. Who reads the paper anyway? The sports section is the perfect length for your average dump, and if you need to get all the way into Ann Landers while you're pressing out yesterday's meatloaf and corn, you've got some serious medical issues. I would murdering someone and mutilating their corpse, and retaining the evidence of such as a trophy to your dementia, would be a bit extreme of a treatment, when you could simply skip those 12 inches of storyline.

If you really hate her that much, though, she was cremated after her death in 2002 and her ashes were scattered in Lake Michigan. So take a trip to Chicago, go for a swim, and pee, and you'll be whizzing on her corpse in a way.

So am I TCF's version of her? Kind of. I'll offer advice if asked, or just my uninformed opinions on any topic. Got a question, any question, just ask and I'll try to address it.

Note you can also DM me questions. And I appreciate trolling - that makes it fun to reply.

I'll keep your name, etc. anonymous on any question if you like - just indicate how you would like to be "credited" for the question (First name, first, last initial, anonymous, screen name, full name, etc.)

Cerebral_DownTime wrote:That picture he ran with his first article was very creepy. Not sure what it's from. He's one to keep an eye on, not sure if you can trust a guy with a porn star screen name.

I'll give you it was a little weird. Some idiot's idea of "art", part of a series called "Understanding Joshua" which is supposed to represent male self-loathing, or some bullshit like that. And what action is more self-loathing and impossible to understand than being a fan of Cleveland sports? I used it for shock value, to add a "what the hell is this" to a column, about which I wanted people to ask the same question, and because I think it is hilarious. And because I don't care if I offend.

Lars, Conspiracy question that has tormented me for years.......Were Carmon Policy & Dwight Clark in some type of evil subversive conspiracy designed to cripple the "newly returned" Browns by amassing a roster void of talent and providing no foundation for this franchise's future thus setting us back for a decade?........just askin.

Eat uncured bacon and that danger goes away. With today's farming and processing standards for pork, ancient diseases such as trichinosis have all but been eradicated from the food supply. The nitrites are completely extraneous, and actually diminish from the taste.

And cook your pork medium rare. Seriously, it's okay.

Regardless, is life without bacon really worth living? Next thing you'll tell me is that beer is bad for you. Something's got to kill you, may as well be something I enjoy.

Eat uncured bacon and that danger goes away. With today's farming and processing standards for pork, ancient diseases such as trichinosis have all but been eradicated from the food supply. The nitrites are completely extraneous, and actually diminish from the taste.

And cook your pork medium rare. Seriously, it's okay.

Regardless, is life without bacon really worth living? Next thing you'll tell me is that beer is bad for you. Something's got to kill you, may as well be something I enjoy.

I would think that if its smoked you'd still need the nitrates to guard against botulism though.

Without mentioning pork products or Cedar Point, what do I put on a wedding website that will convince my out of town friends that coming to Cleveland for my wedding is a sweet idea, since ive been telling them the place ROCKS for better than 10 years?

Also....Great columns, i've enjoyed the reads.

Check me out at Dawgsbynature, where I write stuff, or @twitter as Josh Finney.