The Best Decision-Making Tool Ever

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you’re not living your life—it’s living you? That was me about 10 years ago. I was so determined to have it all, all the time—perfect marriage, great job, adorable kids—that I placed myself at the center of a whirlwind of “yes, yes, yes.” My make-everyone-happy gig came to a head when I had the brilliant idea to take my kids along on a business trip to Hawaii. I thought, I’ve cracked the work-life balance code! But nothing went as planned. My daughter got sick on the 12-hour plane ride. My son got heatstroke. And if those mini disasters weren’t bad enough, both kids escaped from a hotel-run hula class and burst into the middle of my big client presentation. Suddenly I knew the hard truth. If I didn’t make better choices, I was going to fall apart.

Rethink Your Thinking

Soon after that trip, I came up with a strategy I call 10-10-10: It’s a way to sort out every complicated decision by assessing the impact it’ll have on your life in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years. If I’d left my kids at home, for instance, in 10 minutes they might have been pouting. But in 10 months I’d have been able to take them on a proper vacation with the money I’d earned. And in 10 years we’d all have forgotten that I’d even been away for three\days way back when, avoiding all the insanity in between.

Right away, I started applying the process to whatever crisis of the day was driving me crazy, and since then, I’ve discovered that it honestly works for every kind of dilemma, in love, at work and in friendship. Say your boyfriend says he wants you to move in with him. It’s definitely enough to get you flustered into saying yes, yes, yes! But 10-10-10 it before you get too excited: In 10 minutes you’ll have less closet space but half the rent. After 10 months, you’ll have less “me time” but a deeper understanding of him—for better or worse. Then, 10 years down the road, will you have scars from breaking up with the man you almost built a life with? Or will you have a strong, long-term bond with him? Once you’ve thought about all of the angles, your answer will be clear, and you’ll have concrete, simple reasoning to back it up—not to mention you’ll be able to explain your thinking to your guy.

Make It Work for You

The confidence 10-10-10 gave me was so powerful that I shared it with my sisters and friends, who now turn to the tool anytime they need advice: Do I take a pay cut for a job I’d love? Should I spend Friday night with my girlfriends or work late on a project that might land me a promotion? Should I splurge on concert tickets for a once-in-a-lifetime show or save up? 10-10-10 doesn’t tell you what to do, but it helps you figure out what you care about most so you can make the right choice for you. Use it, and tell a friend. She’ll thank you…in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years. —As told to Melanie Abrahams

Suzy Welch, author of 10-10-10: A Life-Transforming Idea, is the former editor of the Harvard Business Review and is the executive-in-residence at Babson College’s Center for Women’s Leadership.