The title implies such slash that it would be unfathomable to believe that it isn't...Shadow’s sudden outburst of some more delicious anxiety in the form of angst made a sudden swirl in the vortex of supersonic speed which sent both Sonic and Shadow into

A/N- My
older sister is a gamer, but the one game that she won't get into
is Sonic. She one day actually took the time to sit and listen to me
trying to explain the show and game to her and while she wrote this
parody. It's an obvious statement of what she feels about the show
after having it explained to her in the best manner possible. I
explained it in French and Spanish too and she still hates the show!
(WOOT! Franish and Frenglish!)

Sonadow-
The Power of Speed!!!!!!!!!!!

Shadow
was feeling very un-cocky and Sasuke-like, at least a little more
than usual. He decided to go for a run seeing as how he could run
sooooo fast sarcasm His angst and sorrow of being almost but not
quite evil was tormenting him when he ran into the unquestionably
good Sonic a.k.a. blue blur. Shadow because he was sooo cool decided
that it wasn't worth it to remember anyone's name he then did a
very racist thing and identified Sonic by his fur colour.

"Blue
one, you're comparing yourself to me?"

The blue
hedgehog, which had the surprising ability to talk, smiled and said,
"Didn't we have this conversation before?"

"Don't
you usually smirk instead of smile?" Shadow retorted, happy with
his proper ability to talk.

"Umm…See,
I wouldn't expect you to understand this, but can we have this
battle of wits while we run because in the name of justice, I never
stand still for more than five seconds and it's been nearly a
minute. I'm beginning to twitch."

Shadow
noted the strange sudden spasms emitting from Sonic's back fur,
which were quills. It made Shadow wonder what it would feel like to
hug such a prickly creature. He realized that this train of thought
was going to lead this fic into the slash category so he changed his
mind. A lot of random homophobes cheered in the background. That
included MelSama32. This whole entire paragraph was the living proof
that Shadow could think reflectively a lot.

"I have
huge hands," Sonic murmured in the background.

"Oh
yeah? Well, I can't get this angry expression off my face."

"Maybe
it's the amnesia."

"Maybe…"

"Or
maybe it's the fact that I only appeared in the whole sonic
industry when they ran out of other things to do to you."

"Am I
really only sixteen?"

"I
think so."

"You
know when you take the time to think about it, my show really hasn't
served any purpose."

"I
always thought that, but being in your show does get me paid
publicity."

"Oh."

Sonic
started running and for some strange reason the street began to turn
in a completely three hundred and sixty degree circle which happened
to speed things up. Yay!

Shadow
watched this reflectively.

Suddenly
this strange fox-like creature showed up and it was so gruesome that
it had TWO tails instead of one and what was even more gruesome about
it was the fact that his tails were spinning at an extremely fast
rate (seeing as how speed is the key element in the entire concept of
running hedgehogs). Shadow gaped in horror and then suddenly reverted
back to his regular glare. He didn't want anyone to think
that he had emotions.

The
disgusting mutant creature landed nearby Shadow who did a very good
job of hiding his disgust under a cloak of anger and of course angst.

"What
are you doing here, Shadow?"

"I'm
thinking and feeling some angst."

"Oh,
that's too bad."

"Yeah,
I know. It takes up a lot of the script."

Sonic
showed up again and for some ridiculous reason he didn't look tired
after running for about an hour. It goes to show what a strict diet
of chilli dogs will do to you. Sigh

If it
wasn't enough that there were three funny looking, talking animals
there but then suddenly another Technicolor animal showed up. In
order to keep to his normal, "comical" reputation, he fell out of
a tree.

"What
the hell is that?" Shadow cried.

Sonic
looked at Shadow sympathetically. "I'd tell you but I don't
know how to pronounce the word and I know you'll never be able to
figure out where such an animal might be frequent. Imma say it once,
'ech-in-a'."

Shadow
looked reflectively at his hands. "They're….so….big. My body
does not even make up for their weight."

"Why
didn't they name me because of my hands?" Sonic asked
wistfully.

"Your
dreads are cool," Tails remarked.

"They're
actually not dreads. Dreads are a representation of your dedication
to God in the Rastafarian church and I'm not trying to make any
strong statements."

"That
was a really boring statement," Sonic sighed.

"So now
that we've all met together, what do we do?"

There was
another long awkward pause.

"The
title implies that there should be slash," Tails muttered, glancing
up at the title.

"Sweet,"
Shadow suddenly blurted, "that'll be fun to see."

"Involving
you two…" Tails continued pointing at Sonic and Shadow, now
glancing at Knuckles.

Knuckles
appeared to not be listening. Studies have shown that echidnas have a
very low attention span and I can easily say this because only a
third of you have actually taken the time to look up information on
that confounded, uncommon animal. Who would bother?

"So…"

"Does
this also imply a plot?" Shadow inquired softly, folding his
extremely thin arms which did not correspond with his frequently
noticed HUGE hands.

"Wow,
you can fold your arms?" Sonic murmured in awe.

"Naw,
I'm just touching my shoulders, but it looks a bit the same if I
glare in your direction."

Knuckles
looked up. "I'M THE SOURCE OF ALL YOUR JOKES!"

"What?"
Shadow asked.

Tails
jumped up and down suddenly.

"What
was that for?" Shadow asked again because being confused was the
best source of angst.

"There's
too much dialogue in this scene. There's no action to progress the
plot."

"Ha ha.
That's like my show. A lot of running with the dialogue being
skittish and boring. Probably why no one can watch a whole episode
without wondering why Mario doesn't still have his own cartoon,"
Sonic laughed.

Yeah,"
Knuckles sighed. "He's a fat plumber with an outrageous accent
and a blonde princess for a girlfriend, what more could you want?"

"Most
certainly better than a BLUE hedgehog with attitude ruining the laws
of physics with his disproportionate body mass and his
aerodynamic-defying speed," Tails added.

"Or an
old cartoon trying to pass for semi-anime," Shadow agreed.

"Or a…"

"THAT'S
ENOUGH!" Sonic cried, weeping bitter tears of agony.

"Wow,
Sonic never cries," Tails exclaimed.

"Maybe
that's why this isn't anime," Knuckles offered.

"Maybe
slash would make it better," Shadow suggested mournfully.

"What
is it with you and slash?!" Knuckles burst out.

"You
judging?"

"No,
I'm just curious to know why you keep bringing it up in front of us
heterosexual animals."

Shadow
pondered Knuckles' behaviour. He laughed suddenly.

"What
is it?"

"You
know who you remind me of?"

Knuckles
shook his head.

"You
give off a very distinct Ludacris-vibe."

Knuckles
shrugged. "I borrowed his arms."

"Ohh…"
Everyone nodded together in realisation.

Sonic ran
a few laps around his circular street and reminded everyone of a
hamster with a higher degree of freedom. "Its amazing how he can do
that," Knuckles muttered.

Tails
suddenly vanished.

"Was
that a game glitch?" Shadow gasped.

Knuckles
shook his head. "Naw, he just tripped on one of those bouncy
things. It sent him flying meters away into the ARK. He'll be back
in the next level."

"WHICH
WE'LL NEVER GET TO BECAUSE NONE OF YOU WILL RUN WITH ME TO THAT
HUGE GIANT RING OVER THERE!" Sonic shouted from a distance.

Shadow
didn't hear that because he suddenly realised that he couldn't
stop thinking about a girl with an outrageously large forehead named
Maria. Surprisingly, her name was Maria, not the forehead.

Sonic
landed near them and walked over even though in this game walking is
a serious waste of time. I mean, why walk when you can run?

Shadow's
sudden outburst of some more delicious anxiety in the form of angst
made a sudden swirl in the vortex of supersonic speed which sent both
Sonic and Shadow into a void where they could run endlessly together
in an ambiguously romantic manner until the writers of anything
sonic-related give up and go home.

And,
thus, Sonic became something a little bit respected as an individual
show.

Knuckles,
however, stood there contemplating the cruel fate which made the
creators of Sonic choose such an uninteresting creature to deviate a
character from. He wasn't even sure what on earth he was and why-oh
why- did he have these strange dread-lock type things hanging from
his head.

"I
always get left out," he whimpered.

The
End.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.