Monday, 30 March 2015

Whats the best thing to do?

For awhile now my little Daisie has taken a very sudden and random hate to going to nursery, It's not an everyday thing some days she will happily rush in without a second thought of saying bye or giving me a kiss.

I'm one of those mums that will go into the classroom give cuddles and kisses then leave but some days it's not as simple as that Daisie will start by asking will I watch her write her name like today but then she really panics I'm not there and will constantly check that I am, then she wants me to stay while she has some toast and will do the same constant checks she done while she wrote her name.

THEN

She's stuck to me as if she was born with suckers there's no getting her off and shes set on coming back home with me, pleading with me to take her home with tears welling in her eyes all her friends flock round her trying to get her to come and play.

My protecting mummy instinct is to scoop her up and do just that as no one likes having to stay somewhere they really don't want to be right?

BUT

am I helping her in anyway by taking her home every time she kicks up a fuss? considering she will go in fine with daddy without a care in the world.

So it seems she knows exactly how to pull on mummy's heart strings and knows I'm a super softy!

Today I didn't scoop her up and bring her back home but left her kicking her screaming with 2 teachers trying their hardest to settle her I could hear her screaming 'mummy' and it totally killed me, I left the school grounds balling my own eyes out looking a right pillock but that's my baby screaming for me and I have the power to take her away from a situation she clearly isn't happy to be in but I just walked away.
que the guilt, feeling like an awful mother and any other kind of emotion linked or unlinked to the situation that seems to creep its way in,

Once she's settled she's totally fine and is back to how she is on a good day but my mind isn't settled and I can't carry on with my day without that over protective mother call to the nursery to check she has settled okay.

I know it's probably without a doubt better to leave her behind and let her settle but I'm so not used to my baby getting herself into such a state and want to do whatever it takes to take her out of that situation.
It's been decided I do the kisses and cuddles at the door and let her skip in on her own it feels me with dread but if it takes her back to enjoying her days at nursery I'm willing to give it ago.
I've questioned why she doesn't want to go she's mentioned being bit
(which I followed up with the teachers) she also hides away and seems
scared of a little boy that also attends again which I followed up with
her teacher today but she apparently sits with this little boy out of choice
through out the day.
Is it as frowned upon to take my clearly very unsettled little girl home with me as much as I think it is? Am I just being a total softy?

So what in your opinion is the best thing to do?

Leave them to settle and enjoy the rest of their day or scoop them up and take them home?

12
comments:

How difficult that must be for you! I'm dreading the day Archie is old enough to know that I'm leaving him and that if he cries hard enough I might just take him home. Sorry I can't offer any advice as we're not quite there yet, I suppose you just have to do what you feel is best! Many Mummy's have told me there little one's go through exactly the same thing. :( #mummymonday

It was awful, I'm used to scooping her up and taking her with me when she's like it so it was horrid leaving and hearing her screaming mummy as I reached the gate :( Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment that alone means the world to me x

Oh I know that feeling of heart wrench - so difficult. Mine is younger than yours (15 months) but I can't bear it when she screams as I leave her at nursery, its getting slowy better though. I have to remind myself I can't alway protect her from everything - even when another kid takes their ball, even that kills me!

Oh I know that feeling of heart wrench - so difficult. Mine is younger than yours (15 months) but I can't bear it when she screams as I leave her at nursery, its getting slowy better though. I have to remind myself I can't alway protect her from everything - even when another kid takes their ball, even that kills me!

Oh I know that feeling of heart wrench - so difficult. Mine is younger than yours (15 months) but I can't bear it when she screams as I leave her at nursery, its getting slowy better though. I have to remind myself I can't alway protect her from everything - even when another kid takes their ball, even that kills me! #mummymonday

It's awful isn't it, I know deep down its better for her as soon as she settles down she's fine and happily gets on with her day like she would on a good day but hearing those screams really does pull on the heart strings doesn't it? x

Oh I know that feeling of heart wrench - so difficult. Mine is younger than yours (15 months) but I can't bear it when she screams as I leave her at nursery, its getting slowy better though. I have to remind myself I can't alway protect her from everything - even when another kid takes their ball, even that kills me! #mummymonday

I'm expecting this exact problem with Summer when she starts pre-school in a couple of weeks and I know it's going to kill me to walk away from her when she's screaming for me. I wish I could offer some advice but to be honest I don't know how I'll handle it myself :( xx

It really means a lot that you took the time to leave a comment :) Daisie starts school in September so I'm hoping she goes back to having days of loving it a lot more often then the clinging to me ones I really don't know how I'll cope leaving her more than 3 hours like that, As much as it upset me I kind of feel relieved that I finally done it she's gone back to running in again but the day of doing it left me a total emotional wreck x

The following two days she went in with no problem at all again, God knows what her teachers think I must look like a total drama queen but it was awful to walk away and leave her like it but she soon settled down and enjoyed the rest of her day :) x

aww it is so hard when they do this!! Corey has always gone to nursery or something since he was like 9 months old. Few months before his 3rd birthday, every day he was crying and refusing to go in. But after 5 or 10 minutes he would be fine. If thats the case then just have to suck it up and let them get on with their day as hard as it is. If they cry all day every day missing the parent then I would be concerned!!!