Things to Do on Super Bowl Sunday

Low on plans on today? Here are 7 parties we know will be happening so you can celebrate this year’s most watched television event.

The Frat:

A guaranteed sausagefest with three bros playing a half-hearted game of beer pong. By the time you arrive, all the wings and chips will be gone. Bring a spoon because your sustenance will be that crusty guacamole on the coffee table”¦which has been sitting there since the last time the Giants and Pats were in the Super Bowl.

The Off-campus Rager:

800 people are invited on Facebook, but the only people who show up are freshmen and sophomores who want to drink. You spend the majority of the party consoling your best friend who hosted, because her laptop got stolen.

The Hipster Party:

Do you like sports? Do you drink beer? Do you eat meat? If you answered no to all three questions, this is your best option. Expect mugs of wine, cheeseless Vegan pizza, and a live-feed of the Puppy Bowl projected onto a wall.

The Newhouse Party:

It’s a casual atmosphere once kickoff starts, but when they send it to a commercial break, dear God don’t you DARE say a word. You may get your head ripped off by a Don Draper-wannabe. Half the attendees brought notebooks for class participation on Monday.

The Dorm Lounge:

Sponsored by the RA and her townie boyfriend, you may consider going because there will be platters on top of buffet platters from Wegmans. Though be prepared to explain the rules of football to international students the entire time.

The Bar:

Your lazy friends send out a text half an hour before the game to meet at your usual booth. Don’t expect to hear what is going on. You might be able to gage who is winning based on who looks happier: the girl in an oversized Patriots jersey and leggings texting away on her Blackberry or the blacked out bro sporting a Giants headband, sweatband, sweatshirt, and sweatpants.

Your bedroom:

Who cares about football, there’s a pretty girl in your room and you’re about to get laid. Touchdown!

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