Friday, June 24, 2011

It's Been Awhile

It's been a really long time.

A year and a half since I've posted. And a whole lot has changed.

I guess I'll start by mentioning that, for a long time, I stopped needing this blog for support. I was able to motivate myself - to stay on top of things. I guess you could say that, in all honesty, I'd forgotten about my band for a good long while.

But now, I've gotten to the point where I NEED to talk about it. I need to motivate myself once more. I've become too complacent with the weight that I'm at (220, I think. I don't have a scale anymore, which is a sin in and of itself) and I want to lose the rest of what I promised myself I would do.

In the past year and a half, I've moved nearly 4,000 miles from the house I was raised in outside of Philadelphia to Glasgow, Scotland. Not a little move at all. After graduating from Drexel University in the summer of 2010, I applied for a Master's program at the University of Glasgow, was accepted and moved here. I'd never been here before, and knowing very little about Scottish food, had my band loosened before I left. That was a good choice. With the foods that are readily available, I often find myself needing to vomit with the band loosened. Things could be worse.

Anyway. So here I am. Scotland. And I refuse to leave. I love it - it's home. I'm living in my second flat, the first having been in Glasgow's trendy and expensive West End. I moved in with my boyfriend about 3 months ago and we're outside Glasgow in a town called Airdrie. I love it. It feels like home.

We've been doing a lot more physical activity than I had in my first months here. He has a dog, which is in turn, my dog as well. We walk her constantly. We've also been spending a lot of time exploring castes and churches and cathedrals and abbeys. It's wonderful. And I feel like I'm getting the physical activity that I need.

However. Gym memberships here are expensive. It's absolutely ridiculous when I think of the price in the States. So, for now, I'm looking to buy a used mountain bike. Alan's brother (Alan being my boyfriend) is skilled at fixing and repairing bikes and offered to do it for me if I get something that needs work.

I just really need to get motivated. Alan's motivating me. Regardless of how I look, he wants me to be healthy. I need to lose it so I don't have as much trouble when hiking. And, generally, I do want to look good. He makes me want to look and feel sexy. I love dressing up to impress him. It's great motivation, having someone who adores you regardless but that you still have an undying urge to impress.

I bought a GORGEOUS dress a few weeks ago. It doesn't zipper. Not at all. But I bought it because when I stepped out of the fitting room, even without the back done up, Alan's jaw dropped. It's a white 60's style polkadot dress that I found on clearance at Dorothy Perkin's. Even on clearance, it was a bit expensive compared to what I normally spend. However, it felt great to see his jaw fall. And, ultimately, I want it to fall when I walk into the room with it fitting perfectly. If I work hard, it shouldn't take me long at all. It's only a size smaller than I would typically buy. And my god do I want this dress to fit.

Oh, and I guess I should include a recent picture.

This is Alan and I outside Dumbarton Castle, which we discovered no longer has a castle there.

I'm not unhappy at all with the way I look. I feel WONDERFUL. But I know that, in the long run and although losing 75 pounds is great, I want to lose another 65. I'm more than halfway there. With some hard work, I can definitely do this.