Pages

Friday, November 8, 2013

Blink

In a moment, my kids are firmly ensconced in tweendom, one
with his foot caught in the door of teendom.

Soon they will be high school graduates, then college
students, then young marrieds, then parents, then senior citizens.

I’m not being dramatic.
This is how fast the time goes.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to see many of the people
that make up my history: parents and brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and
cousins, family friends. It’s funny how
a funeral can be so sorrowful yet so comforting at the same time. It felt like a holiday during any of the past
thirty years, except there was a casket and everybody was crying.

When we came home and I looked at the pictures, I saw my own
girl’s face smiling back at me. There I
was wearing white tights at Christmas time, sitting next to Granddad. There I was at ten, twenty, thirty, forty.

The time is gone, yet I feel the same as I did in this picture
taken ten years ago. My babies are
almost looking me in the eye today, and there they are sleeping in our arms. It went by so fast. I talk to my mom on the phone and it’s like
when I finished school and began life and we started talking every day. It could be the day we bought our first
house, the first day I was alone with my new baby, the day I quit my job, the
day I made spaghetti for dinner.

My life is a cliché.
Everyone from here to there says it – you blink and they’re gone. “They” are children, grandparents, years,
hours, minutes. Seconds. I get it.
I’m living it. I say it.

I miss my babies. I
miss the simple tasks of the day with them.
I miss bathing them, feeding them, strapping them into the car
seat. There was no juggling of schedules
and calendars, no fitting all the puzzle pieces in. There were naps, and chicken nuggets, and
diaper bags.

There were nighttime rituals. There were snacks every night and 8:00 bed
times.

Last night, I kissed my son goodnight and because I’m a
silly thing who is over my head in nostalgia these days, I rubbed my nose
against his just because it was what I did when he was little.

His surprised smile, a rarity these days, told me that he
remembered.

Never underestimate the power that an Eskimo kiss has on a t(w)een
boy. Or the wonders it can do for his
mom’s homesick soul.

And just like that an Eskimo kiss brought me to tears this morning. So sweet. My oldest whispered, not facing me, if I'd sing the song I used to sing to her recently. I damn near fell off the bed in surprise and joy that she remembered (and still wants).

This is so beautiful, Andrea. We do Eskimo kisses, too!I was just talking to my husband about how our daughter has two years left in High School and then... what? I can't even wrap my head around it. xo

I am really starting to feel this, even though mine are just 5, 5, and 3. We were in the backyard the other day and I just missed seeing their pudgy little 2 year old selves toddling around in the grass, mispronouncing flower and tree. It sucks that we almost can't appreciate it when it's happening.

Yes! It really does suck. I can appreciate them now as I'm older and have built up a level of tolerance and patience with my kids that I didn't have when they were little. Of course, I'd like those years back so I could get it right the first time around. :)

I still try to do the things I used to when they were little - make their lunches, put their clothes away - but they totally take advantage of me, and I hate that. It was simpler when I had to do it all for them.

Awww yes this post...so true...thank you for sharing this. My son will turn 7 soon and I can't believe how fast time really does flies and how all we have is today. Your children are so beautiful and YES eskimo kisses rock!

awwww. I believe it. It's so true. Blink blink blink. I feel like time sped up the second mitchell and I got married. eight years have gone by? You could tell me three or you could tell me fifteen. It all feels the same. My oldest is in first grade but I know soon enough I'll be looking him eye to eye and sighing and saying Oh, I remember when you were just in first grade. Time, you so crazy.

LOL Sarah! It is so true, though - I remember my kids as they were in that picture above like it was yesterday, but the details are fading. I didn't remember those cups they were holding (even though I did remember that they were drinking Shirley Temples, and neither one of them finished, how I was annoyed that I had wasted the cherry juice), nor either one of their shirts. My son wears a size 11.5 men's shoe now.

Love your blogs Andrea!! I too wonder where the heck all of these years are going/went??? My babies as you know are also 10 & 12!! Crazy!! I had to go through Aiden's baby pictures a couple of weeks ago for his religion class and of course there is no let me just grab a couple real quick...nope I had to sit there for an hour staring at each one smiling & feeling sad at the same time!! I miss when they were just babies I really do!! I actually grab some pictures out of both boys sat at the computer ....scanned the pictures into Shutterfly on line and made an ipad cover with my Babies pictures all over the front!! Just came in the mail!! I love it!! And I get to stare at their Beautiful, sweet, innocent baby faces all of the time now!!! I know exactly how you feel!! I am sorry for your loss too!!!!

All those cliches are cliches for a reason - they are true, at least on some level. Sometimes I see a long leg peeking out of a blanket, or hear a discussion about something far beyond Mickey Mouse and I wonder where my babies have gone, too. But they're still there, aren't they? And they remember eskimo kisses down deep, where it really counts.

Beautiful, Andrea! My husband and I were just talking last night about how time is truly flying by and how big the kiddos are getting. I can't wait to see what's ahead for them and, at the same time, I want to make time stand still. Great post, my friend!!

Oh my heart. My oldest is 18 but my younger ones are 6, 6 and 4 and I want them to slow down. I'm already crazy enough to miss the rear-facing carseat and taking a shower with a bouncy seat in the bathroom.

I found you via the BlogHer post and have spent the better part of my morning getting lost in your words. I've loved every one, but this one is my favorite. I feel the exact same way. My oldest is a Junior in high school. Soon we will be touring colleges and planning for his future. It feels like last week I spent my nights rocking him to sleep and washing his favorite blanket during naptime.