Archive for 2010

Teenage girl #1: What are you doing this summer? Want to have an adventure?Teenage girl #2: Such as?Teenage girl #1: Teaching monkeys in Africa how to eat bananas.Teenage girl #2: I think you can handle that one yourself.Teenage girl #1: Why are you so mean?

Older Jewish woman: And where are you from?30-something woman: Arkansas.Older Jewish woman: And are you Jewish?30-something woman: No.Older Jewish woman: You just confirmed my stereotype.30-something woman: And you just confirmed mine.

Established-looking black man: You think I'm ghetto? Girl, I can be ghetto if that's what'chu think I am.Semi-attractive black female: (whispers something unintelligible that sounds like an insult)Established-looking black man: Girl,if I was Jesus Christ you still be picking off imperfections on me.

Hot schoolgirl to plain friend: I think my boobs are getting bigger. (every guy in the train looks)Plain friend: Ummm, you said that a bit loud…Hot schoolgirl: No, seriously, look! (cups boobs) They're bigger! They're like under my chin now. Every time I look down I get surprised, because they're just so there!Plain friend, embarrassed: Please shut up until we're off this train.Hot schoolgirl, looking up: Huh, what? I missed that, I was distracted by my boobs.

Guy selling Obama condoms: Yes, you can… get laid! Don't do the big apple without protection. Obama condoms, get them here!Frumpy Southern tourist lady: Oh my god! They are actually condoms. That is my President's face. It does not belong on a condom.