Tips and Etiquette

Invitations

Wedding invitations not only provide the important details of the special day, they also give guests their first glimpse of the style, tone, and formality of the wedding that is planned. Following are some tips and etiquette guidelines relating to wedding invitations.

Names and Spelling

A wedding invitation is issued by the host(s). The hosts' names should be written out and include middle names and titles.

With the exception of Mr. and Mrs., all titles should be written out, unless the name is too long to fit on one line.
Examples: Doctor and Mrs. Albert George Ness; Sergeant and Mrs. James Lee Fevre.

When the wedding is being held in a place of worship, "the honour of your presence" phrase is used. When held at other locations, "the pleasure of your company" is traditionally used.

If the bride’s last name is the same as her parents, only her first and middle name are included.

The groom’s name should be written out and preceded by his appropriate title.
Examples: Mr. Alexander Graham Smith; Doctor Garrett Phillip Hanna

Time and Date

Write out the date and year. It is not necessary to use "and" in the year line.

Example: two thousand seventeen; two thousand twenty-three

Capitalize the day of the week and the month, but not the year.

The phrase "half after" should be used when indicating time, rather than "half past" or "-thirty."

It is not necessary to use the phrases "in the afternoon" and "in the evening."

The city and state should be written out. If all guests are local, the state may be omitted.

Respond Card

Any of the following abbreviations is acceptable: RSVP, R.S.V.P., r.s.v.p., R.s.v.p.

Writing out the request is also acceptable.
Examples: The favour of a reply is requested; Please respond on or before

If you're enclosing a printed respond card and self-addressed, stamped envelope, it is unnecessary to indicate "RSVP" on the invitation itself.

Respond cards keep wedding invitations neat and uncluttered. Refrain from putting RSVP requests on wedding invitations, but if you must, have it printed in the lower left corner of the invite.

If you prefer replies be sent to an address other than the return address on the envelope, or if you want to include an e-mail address or phone number as alternate RSVP methods, add that information below your RSVP request.
Example: RSVP
1120 Opportunity Drive
Saint Louis, Missouri 63101
or (314) 555-0987

Reception Card

This enclosure lets guests know the details of your reception and is especially useful when the reception is held at a location other than the ceremony. It is no longer acceptable to invite some guests to the ceremony only. Also, if your event will not include a full meal, it is courteous to inform your guests with phrasing such as "… and afterward for light hors d'oeuvres and cocktails," instead of the more vague "… and afterward at the reception."

Map Card

This enclosure provides a map and driving directions for attending guests. Add some points of interest for a charming and helpful touch (parks, shopping malls, great restaurants, etc.).

Accommodations Card

This enclosure is used to provide basic information on recommended hotel accommodations. Locate three hotels with varying price ranges near the reception site and include contact information for each.

Website Card

It is acceptable to put the web address (URL) for your wedding website on your invite, as long as you place it in the lower left corner or other inconspicuous area of the invitation. It is better, however, to avoid a crowded invitation by moving the information to a separate enclosure card. Here you can provide a few details about your site, rather than just the URL.

At Home Card

This enclosure lets guests know how to contact you and how to address you (hyphenated last name, etc.) after the wedding. It is also acceptable to include your cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses, if you wish.

Other Enclosures

Often times wedding-related events are planned (rehearsal dinner, pre-wedding golf outing, post-wedding brunch, gift opening, etc.). These events should always be noted on separate cards, never included on the actual wedding invitation.

Thank You Notes

Use your actual guest list when you start opening gifts; list each gift received next to the giver's name and address. Doing so makes sending thank you notes a breeze!

Samples of Formal Invitation Wording

Bride’s parents, who are divorced and remarried, host the wedding together:

Mr. and Mrs. Ronan Videla

and

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Andreason

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Kelly Grace Andreason

and

Mr. Garrett John Hanna

Saturday, the twenty-second of March

two thousand seventeen

at six o’clock

Temple Sinai

Granville, Ohio

Bride’s mother and stepfather host:

Mr. and Mrs. Ronan Videla

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of her daughter

Kelly Grace Andreason

to

Mr. Garrett John Hanna

Friday, the seventeenth of May

two thousand sixteen

at seven o’clock

Viansa Winery

25200 Arnold Drive

Sonoma, California

Bride’s only living parent hosts:

Mr. [or Mrs.] Michael Thomas Fitzloff

requests the honour of your presence

at the marriage of his [or her] daughter

Shannon Michelle

to

Lieutenant Roger Stephen Manning, U.S. Navy

Saturday, the seventeenth of May

two thousand sixteen

at two o’clock

New Haven Community Church

New Haven, Georgia

Groom’s parents host:

Mr. and Mrs. George Dempsey

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of

Miss [or Ms.] Beth Ann Boomgarten

to

their son

Mr. Alexander Graham Dempsey

Friday, the fourteenth of November

two thousand nineteen

at six o’clock

St. Thomas Cathedral

Spokane, Washington

Both bride and groom's parents host:

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Wilfork

and

Captain and Mrs. William James Plett

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of

Matilda Renee Wilfork

and

Timothy James Plett

Saturday, the twenty-fifth of August

two thousand seventeen

at four o’clock

St. James Catholic Church

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Bride's parents host, but include groom's parents' names:

Mr. and Mrs. Isaac Jeremiah Crenshaw

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Hillary Jo

and

Mr. Anthony Patrick Ames

son of

Captain and Mrs. Patrick George Ames

Saturday, the twenty-fifth of August

two thousand seventeen

at four o’clock

St. James Catholic Church

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Bride and groom host:

Miss [or Ms.] Elizabeth Marie Carrington

and

Mr. Richard James Handlin

request the honour of your presence

at their marriage

Saturday, the tenth of July

two thousand seventeen

at half after four o’clock

First Congregational Church

Richmond, Virginia

The honour of your presence

is requested

at the marriage of

Miss [or Ms]. Elizabeth Marie Carrington

to

Mr. Richard James Handlin

Saturday, the tenth of July

two thousand seventeen

at half after four o’clock

First Congregational Church

Richmond, Virginia

The families host together:

Together with their families

Miss Macey Leigh Kirkland

and

Mr. Will Ronald Germundson

request the honour of your presence

at their marriage

Saturday, the tenth of July

two thousand seventeen

at half after four o’clock

First Congregational Church

Richmond, Virginia

Bride’s other family members host:

Mr. Eric Henry Evans

requests the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of his sister

Lisa Marie

to

Mr. Ian John Wyskowski

Saturday, the fourth of June

two thousand seventeen

at one o’clock

The Ritz-Carlton

St. Louis, Missouri

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elliott

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their niece

Miss [or Ms.] Samantha Jane Richards

to

Mr. Scott Randolph Markham

Saturday, the fourth of June

two thousand seventeen

at one o’clock

The Ritz-Carlton

St. Louis, Missouri

Tips

Jewish wedding invitation wording differs only in that "and" is used instead of "to" between the bride and groom’s names.

Invitations may include "and your participation in the offering of a Nuptial Mass" beneath the groom’s name, when a Roman Catholic mass is being celebrated as part of the ceremony.

Allow plenty of time to carefully address, assemble, and mail your invitations.

If you’re only using one envelope, include a short note with your invitation. Example: Dear Stephen, You are welcome to bring a guest to the wedding. Please let me know. Regards, Michelle.
(If time allows and Stephen supplies the information, you can send his guest an invitation, too.)

Assembling the Envelopes

Place any enclosure cards on top of the invitation.

When using inner and outer envelopes, insert the invitation (left edge first) into the inner envelope so that when the envelope flap is opened you see the printed side of the invitation.

Any enclosure cards are placed on top of the invitation in order of size with the smallest on top.

The inner envelope is then sealed and placed into the outer envelope so that when the outer envelope flap is lifted, the names are visible.

- When two envelopes are used, insert the invitation (folded edge first for a folded invitation, left edge for a single card invitation), so that when the envelope flap is opened, you see the printed side of the invitation.
- When there are enclosure cards, they are placed on top of the invitation, printed sides up, in size order with the smallest on top. Again, when the flap is opened, the printed side should be visible. If the invitation is folded, insertions are stacked in size order – smallest on top – but within the fold.
- The inner envelope is then sealed and placed in the outer envelope, so when the outer envelope flap is lifted, the name(s) of the guest(s) is visible.

Tips

Use the names of all guests whenever possible. Using "and guest" just isn't as warm and friendly.

Get names, titles, and addresses correct when addressing. It's impressive and flattering! When in doubt, ask.

Invitation envelopes should always be handwritten. Printed labels are not acceptable. Consider hiring a calligrapher or enlisting the help of others if you feel overwhelmed.

Take an assembled invitation to the post office and have it weighed to ensure proper postage. If invitations vary (e.g., one for local guests, another for out-of-town guests) have each variation weighed.

Before sealing the outer envelope, make absolutely sure that the names on the inner and outer envelopes match.

Mail all invitations at the same time. Don't wait to see how many will be attending from the first mailing before sending another. Simply estimate that 10 to 20 percent of invited guests will send regrets; doing this is so much better than using a standby guest list.

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