Ilana Glazer Presents Hilarious Stand-Up at Stamp

By Taneen Momeni

Writer, actress and comedian Ilana Glazer performed stand-up in the Grand Ballroom at the Adele H. Stamp Student Union February 12. Glazer explained that she had created a “full comedy show” for the audience, and would act as our host in addition to being the closing act. Her first supporting acts were University of Maryland sophomore English major Grace Chubb and Shalewa Sharpe.

Chubb began the show by speaking about her experience going to an all-girls Catholic school, addressing how it is not as sexy as people think it is. She explained how, for the most part, the girls at the school just wanted to figure out ways to wear sweatpants instead of skirts. Later, Chubb explained the unfortunate sex education at the school and her fear of being the next Virgin Mary.

In the next act, Sharpe continued to make the audience laugh by talking about relatable things to everyone: how women’s clothing doesn’t actually fit the average woman, soft pants (with controversial opinions on leggings), taking seasonal shifts on feminism, and finally, snacks.

Engaging directly with the audience, Sharpe asked everyone to yell their favorite candies and individually expressed her opinion on the ones she heard. Ending her set with mentions of crystals and fixing energy, she invited anyone to talk to her about their lives, snacks, or anything else while she stood in the back.

Finally, Glazer took the stage and let the audience know immediately that her upcoming set was liberal, inclusive, and extremely funny. Beginning her set with how much she loves women, she addressed the topics of sexuality and feminism, claiming gay men are the most manly because there are “two dicks and no vaginas–the manliest you can get,” and that lesbians overall win. Then, she got into how while she loves women, she also loves men.

Using this as a segue to her recent marriage, Glazer explained how although she didn’t think the married life was for her, she loves it a lot — explaining how it’s like a sleepover, but your parents never come home. In addition, she said, the healthcare benefits and the ability to decorate a home also make marriage worthwhile. However, she addressed how she hated connotations of “husband” and “wife”; how they mean that the husband is someone who owns a woman, and the wife is a woman who is owned by a man, so she told the audience how she and her husband are partners, emphasizing that although they are both Jewish partners, they are not lawyers.

Ilana Glazer performs on February 12 (Taneen Momeni/Bloc Reporter)

During these parts of her set, she would sprinkle little sarcastic comments about how men know better and they are stronger, which is why they make legislation. Then she finally spoke about Trump. She claimed every president before him, except for Obama, was the same, and Trump is just a cartoon version of them. She transitioned into an extensive simile of how Trump is like a cystic pimple that had been growing on the back of America throughout all of the previous presidencies.

For the final portion of her set, Glazer described how she met Abbi Johnson, co-writer, director and actress in “Broad City,” explaining how it started as a web series during college and later was made into a TV show thanks to Amy Poehler’s involvement.

After answering four audience questions, Glazer described herself as a “Jewish mama” and left the audience with advice: vote, canvas to get others to vote, and take advantage of the cheap therapy in college.

She left the audience feeling hopeful, uplifted and with empty bladders, thanks to her hilarious and relevant set.

Featured Photo Credit: Courtesy of Taneen Momeni/Bloc Reporter.

Taneen Momeni is a freshman journalism major and can be reached at taneenm@gmail.com.