Saturday, February 11, 2012

1. I am a 45-year-old middle-class white male from the Midwest of the US, divorced, no kids.

2. My sex life began, as far as I can recollect, when an older boy talked me into "playing nasty" when I was very young. We touched each other's penises, that kind of thing. I know it isn't terribly unusual, but I do wish it had not happened. I think I became extremely sexualized at too young an age.

3. As an adolescent, I had a newspaper delivery route. There was an adult bookstore near my route, and I sometimes found porno mags. Some of them featured extremely kinky content. This also had a deep impact on my sexual development, I think. I have very kinky fantasies, but hide them... just like I hid those magazines.

4. I was pretty nerdy in high school, and I absolutely lusted after a few female friends but could not figure out how to become sexual. I was a good friend, or a good boyfriend (i.e., no sexual pressure from me). I remember one time getting my girlfriend's pants off, and beginning to go down on her but I chickened out. She must have been pretty frustrated by that.

5. So I didn't have intercourse with anybody until I was 18 years old, with that same girlfriend. We weren't drunk or intoxicated in any way, but I honestly don't remember that much about it. I just remember being very nervous. She and I went off to different universities, so that relationship went by the wayside. We continued to have sex if we saw each other on breaks and were both not in relationships, but eventually she got married. My memories of my times with her are fond; she was a good person to learn with.

6. In college, I partied too much and had about zero success with women as a direct result. The frustration about drove me insane, but I never made the connection that women do not necessarily want to have intimate relations with ambitionless drunks. If I could do anything over in life, I would take my college education much more seriously, and would have treated women better.

7. After college, I went to a graduate program and finally wised up. Got my own place, got a decent job, and finally started getting the attention of some women. I remember well the day I was eating pizza inside a restaurant and one of the women I had lusted after so ardently in high school walked by and saw me. She came in to say hi, talked a while, gave me her phone number, practically begged me to call. I was so clueless that I honestly did not know she was coming on to me. I did call her, we got together, and she turned out to have an enormous sexual appetite. She was up for anything. Unfortunately, she was also determined to find a husband and I was not in love. That was fun while it lasted, though.

8. So around that time, I guess I became sort of a cad. I had some meaningless sex just for the sake of doing it. One night stands, cheating girlfriends, things I am not proud of. I was just super horny, I suppose, but it isn't worth having someone dislike you.

9. Up to this point, the sex I was having was adventurous in terms of the positions and locations - memorably, outside in a tornado storm as the tornado sirens wailed and the rain pounded us - but nothing really kinky. Then I met a woman I will call V. She was kind of goth, a little older than me, and I really was not that attracted to her when we met. She came to a party at my place with a friend of a friend. She apparently was quite drawn to me, as she ended up staying over that night, and she opened up a whole new world of sexual practices. She was extremely kinky in bed and I loved it! I'll never forget the surprise of having her go from sucking my cock to licking my ass. I didn't even know people did that. She was the first woman to allow me to tie her up - her idea, I might add.

10. V also suggested we arrange a threesome, which I was totally excited about but it never happened. I somehow found myself in a relationship with a more "marriageable" woman, which turned out to be a huge mistake. I have always regretted not getting to take V up on that offer, because I have never had any kind of multiple-partner experience, and it is a tremendous fantasy of mine. And she was completely up for any combination, which I have never encountered since.

11. Another major influence about this time was A, a great friend of mine in grad school, and a terrible influence. She loved to party, and I was very accommodating. A was drop-dead gorgeous, a former model, and just a little bit crazy. More than a little bit, perhaps. She loved seduction much more than sex, which was very frustrating. We did have sex a few times, but what she really awakened in me was a love for dirty talk. She was fantastic at talking about sex. Eventually, our relationship became one where she fucked somebody, came to my house and told me all about it in excruciating detail as I masturbated. That was actually one of the most fulfilling sexual relationships I ever had. She too got married, and that was the end of that.

12. After that, I got into the relationship mentioned in #10, with a person I ended up hating but with whom I had some pretty great sex. She was always up for it, and liked it hard. She also made an effort to talk dirty, though she wasn't so great at it.

13. She and I broke up when I was about 32, and I took up with a 21-year-old. She was an interesting character... she was kind of sullen and morose, as she had had a difficult life. But she was the most easily aroused person I have ever encountered. If I woke up in the middle of the night and simply put my arm around her, she would wake up and start fucking me furiously. She could also get pretty kinky, bondage and role-play stuff. She was tall and had kind of a spacious vagina, so I bought her her first ever vibrator--and a pretty big one at that. She loved it, and used it a lot. I loved that, took it as no offense at all when I would finish fucking her and she would grab that vibrator and keep at it. Such fun sex with her, but aside from that she was just a depressing person, so I moved on to....

14. ...the woman who became my wife. We were together about 12 years. Sex was good at first, but she had some deep-seated issues that she never discussed with me until it was far too late. The consequence of her issues was that she fiercely resented some of my kinks. I was just sharing intimate parts of who I was, and she came to hate that part of me. Sex became non-existent, I resented that, and the marriage ended in a smoldering heap of awfulness. Seems like a rather common story, but when it happens to you it really sucks - trust me on that. Communicate, people! That is my advice, for what it is worth.

15. So now i am with a woman 18 years my junior. We work well together in so many ways, including sexually. Lucky me, she is hot as hell and LOVES to fuck. When we first became intimate, I think we were both just so frustrated from our mutual lack of a sex life that we fairly attacked each other for a couple of months. Attacked in a good way, meaning when she walked in my doorway we went straight at it. She is a tall, thin blonde and did me the great favor one day of dressing in black heels, black thigh-highs, black panties and black bra, and just letting me perv on her for a while. Goddam that was awesome!

16. Geez, ten to go, what else? Well, I guess I'll get egotistical and say I have a pretty awesome member. Maybe it is just something women say to all the guys, but almost all have said my cock is the perfect size. Long but not too long, thick but not too thick.

17. I love amateur porn far more than pro-shot stuff. I love the idea of all those real people out there loving to have sex as much as I do. Why don't we meet?

18. I would love to try group sex sometime. I went to a nudist colony once or twice, but want to go to a lifestyle event sometime. Present girlfriend is against it.

19. It seems a common theme on these essays, but I am another one of those guys who likes to look at the guy in porn, fantasizes about maybe sucking a guy, but has not acted on it. It sure is a turn-on, though. Only A was able to fully realize the power of this fantasy, and used to drive me wild with her stories by intricately describing her lovers' cocks. Oh, how I miss her!

20. I love to read casual sex personals for the same reason I love to view amateur porn... I can relate!

21. I love going down on a woman. I love to make a woman come, the actual physical reactions of the vagina are such a turn-on.

22. Oh, I remembered another fantastic sexual encounter from that time between the horrible girlfriend and marriage - another friend from high school with whom I made very detailed and direct plans to have sex. We literally met for lunch, discussed exactly what we wanted to do, and later she came over and we had just fantastic sex. It lasted for hours, we both got off multiple times, and that was that. We still run into each other from time to time, and have this great memory to secretly share. Perhaps my most successful relationship ever.

23. I did have one near-multiple-partner experience. This was during my relationship with the horrible girlfriend, when she was out of town. I met two women at a bar who explained they were out looking for a guy to fuck one of them, who had gone too long without. Sadly, the other one was the one who attracted me more. I went to their place, we played truth or dare, and I got near to sex with the horny one but chickened out. I felt guilty, as I am not a cheater.... though I certainly came very close. In retrospect, I wish I had gone through with it. I am now sure that the other one was looking forward to watching, and that would have been pretty exciting in its own right.

24. I was trying to think of how many women I have had sex with, and am somewhat disappointed in myself that I cannot really say. 35 or so, I would guess. To those I might have given hurt feelings, I am sorry. I generally practiced safe sex, but am a little amazed I made it through without contracting anything.

25. Lastly, I just want to say thanks for reading if you made it this far. It is kind of gratifying to think that someone else might have derived pleasure from my sexcapades. I know I enjoy reading some of these.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

1. I'm an 18-year-old female who has identified as bisexual since I discovered what the word meant at 13. I've been dating my current boyfriend for just over three months, and I've never felt so content with someone before.

2. My first kiss was from a girl in my school when I was 13. She was tall and pressed me up against a wall behind the school. I remember being surprised that other people's mouths tasted the same as mine. I enjoyed having a girlfriend. I felt so grown up.

3. I had sex for the first time when I was 14, with a boy I had been dating for three months. It didn't really hurt, and it only lasted a few moments. I don't know whether I enjoyed it or not, but I certainly don't regret it. I told my mother what had happened when she picked me up that night on her way home, and she gave me a hug and a hot whisky when we got home - this is what she does when I injure myself.

4. I spent two and a half years dating a boy who I wasn't attracted to at all. I put off having sex with him as often as possible. The only thing I enjoyed about the sex we had was the fact that he liked to spank me with my riding crop, tie me up and put clips on my nipples. I loved that. I wanted more of it, but I never made my desires evident.

5. I masturbate a lot to the thought of being forced to submit to someone else.

6. I cannot, and have never been able to, make myself orgasm. I've never orgasmed through penetrative sex. The only times I have orgasmed is when getting head or being fingered, but that doesn't mean I don't like penetrative sex or masturbation. Some people have a hard time understanding just how much I enjoy sex, even though it doesn't make me orgasm.

7. I've slept with 5 men and 1 woman, and I've messed around with a lot more. I've kissed more people than I can count. This isn't bragging - I don't really know how I feel about this. So far in my life, I regret none of it, but I know that may change.

8. I had an abortion about 3 weeks ago. I live in a country where abortion is illegal and my mother and I traveled on a plane and came back the same night. My boyfriend paid half. I know how I got pregnant. I'm on the pill now. I don't want children until I'm much older and I don't regret the abortion--it was the logical thing to do.

9. I'm terrified of the idea of being watched having sex. I used to be terrified by the thought of anyone knowing that I'm having sex--I would feel embarrassed and ashamed. But now I don't mind so much, and I don't care if people's roommates are at home when I'm there. I'm more relaxed about sex generally.

10. I would never, ever have public sex, though.

11. I love being held face down during sex and having the back of my neck bitten, hard.

12. My boyfriend, when asked about BDSM, says he thinks it's weird. But he asks me to scratch him, hold him down, bite him, take control during sex. It's so different to what I'm used to, but I kind of like the change. I want to be controlled, but I'm also enjoying playing it the other way.

13. I'm obsessed with anal sex. I crave it. I've only had it twice, when I was 14, and since then I haven't had a partner who would consent to it. One guy used to stick his thumb in my anus when he was having sex with me, and I loved it, but it our arrangement was very casual and I thought it might be pushing it to ask for more.

14. I slept with that guy for 4 months after coming out of a long relationship (see 4). The sex was incredible. I was so attracted to him. I was 17, he was 21, and he seemed so glamorous - In the last year of a degree in design, his own car, his own flat, two jobs plus a sideline selling drugs - he was loaded. We both slept with other people during that time, him more than me. In the end he got a 'real' girlfriend, instead of a kid he hooked up with.

15. My boyfriend is that guy's friend, and I only really know him because he slept with my best friend for a while. He's 6 years older than me, but he's the first person I've dated who doesn't care about the age gap. It's been really intense - its feels like we've known each other for years. I'm more attracted to him than I thought it was possible to be. He's heavily bipolar, and at times it's hard dealing with him, but its worth it.

16. I hate the taste of semen, but I love the sensation of someone, male or female, coming in my mouth. I feel degraded, and simultaneously like I've achieved something.

17. I would love for someone to hold total control over me. Not all the time--I want my own life--but when we both wanted it. I want to be completely helpless, not have any control over myself. I think this is why I like drugs, too.

18. Sometimes I don't want to have sex, like when I'm on a comedown or I don't feel well, or when I was pregnant and felt sick all the time, but usually if whoever I'm with keeps pushing for it I'll always give in, and they're usually right: I do feel better afterward.

19. I love having my ass grabbed. I love the way my ass looks and feels. I love the feel of other girls' asses, too. I think it'd be a bit weird to do the same to a guy, and I'm not sure why I think that.

20. I once scratched my boyfriend's back, during sex, so hard it bled. He came instantly, and he still has the scars on his back. I did it because he asked me to, and all I felt was vaguely disgusted at all the skin under my fingernails. But I would love if he would do that to me, so I didn't mind it.

21. I have both my nipples pierced, my navel pierced, and my tongue pierced twice. Some people are disgusted by the piercings, and some people are turned on my them. I love having the rings in my nipples pulled.

22. I shave all the hair off my vulva, bar a strip down the front, and I shave my underarms. I refuse to shave my legs because I'm blonde and the hair is barely visible anyway. I don't like shaving, but my boyfriend and nearly everyone I've slept with says they prefer it that way.

23. I love some hair on guys, though not too much. I like rubbing my face in chest hair.

24. Sex on MDMA is incredible. I love taking it with my partner and just spending hours touching each other, feeling all the sensations and the affection - the "lovebuzz."