Michael Fontaine - He was traveling door to door, spreading the word of "The Reformed Church of Reverend Al." Dies of sickled arm anemia. That would be when a person bleeds to death after their arms are cut off.

The Lesbians - Most guys would think this a welcome addition to the movie. You are so wrong.

The Plot:

Independent films usually do not have previews at the beginning, but this was an exception. "This Gun for Hire" was the movie being promoted. While the preview did showcase numerous scenes of "expert" shots blinking and flinching as they fired, I think that it was the best part of "Bloody Bender." Yes, the advertisement for another production turned out to be the highlight of my doomed evening.

A short introduction tells us that the Bender family once owned a roadhouse. The establishment was the site of many a horror as the insane family of psychopaths murdered visitors. I am inferring a large portion of the back story, because it is not provided by the film makers. That's right! You, the director and writer! I am doing your job! Anyway, the last surviving Bender escapes from an institution.

The insane man briefly stumbles into the Texan version of "Clerks." There he overhears the convenience store employee talking to his friends about Old Man Perkins' winning lottery ticket. The world runs off of money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is, so John sneaks into the backyard of the Perkins' place. The daughter (let us call her Bobbi Jo) sees him sniffing panties on the clothesline. She immediately turns on the old horny farmer's daughter routine full force.

Officially, I do not mind the horny farmer's daughter plot device. The idea of a young woman, isolated from human contact (except for her family), being interested in sex with a visiting male, is fine. Bobbi Jo is hardly isolated though, she briefly explains the bottle of chloroform as being from her biology class. In other words: why is she so hot for the middle-aged man?

Taking the fortuitous presence of the chloroform as a sign, Bender subdues Bobbi Jo and drags her into the wood shed. There he finds lots of tools, a brand new three-prong outlet, and several pairs of handcuffs. After tapping a nail into place, he handcuffs the unconscious girl and hangs her from the nail. Then John starts demanding to know where the money is hidden. When Bobbi Jo says that she does not know, the mental torture begins. This involves him picking up various tools and waving them in front of her face.

A rake - oh no! Clippers - oh no! Ice tongs - oh no!

The above goes on for several minutes before Bender starts using the items, along with a handy candle (hot wax). The physical part of the torture session lasts for some time. I think it was intended to be erotic, but seeing a girl handcuffed, bleeding, and screaming has never helped me achieve an erection. The crazy jerk eventually gives up and kills her.

The movie is primarily about Bender sitting at the Perkins' house, killing people. The unlucky evangelist and Old Man Perkins are the next two victims. One problem is that the murderer never restrains his victims' legs. Firstly, if it was me, I would literally kick the shit out of my assailant, even if some mysterious force kept me hanging from the nail.

A serious detractor here (I am splitting hairs, all of them are serious) is the large number of mirror shots. The director obviously thought that filming a reflection was interesting. The trick is cool, when you do it once or twice, not seven or eight times.

Pa Perkins spills the beans about the money, letting John and us get on with our lives. The escapee is next seen picking up two female hitchhikers. They invite him into their trailer, then start making out (the girls, with each other). He declines when they invite him to join and what follows is a long, pointless, and repulsive lesbian scene. The lip smacking and stuff just seems to go on and on. Why does it even matter? Bender left the trailer after only a few minutes; the entire lesbian scene is padding.

The film ends (thank God) with Bender seeking employment at a bar. The owner agrees that there might be some work available, at which point the crazy dude starts laughing. The end.

The major weakness apparent is that "Bloody Bender" is the story of a murderer and his victims. But, because none of the characters killed are ever developed, the audience does not care. At least, I do not and, because Katie left the room in disgust, it was an audience of one.

Things I Learned From This Movie:

A cowboy invented the MPAA rating system.

If there is one thing that you should edit out of your finished movie, it is someone saying, "Action!"

Chloroform is a common household item.

An eight penny nail, barely tapped into a wall, can support a grown person.

Air hockey is less complicated that theology.

Mexico is north of the United States.

Sometimes a lesbian scene is a bad thing.

Stuff To Watch For:

3 mins - Turn down the background music; we cannot understand a word being said.

10 mins - I get it, she is cleaning and wearing a yellow apron. Lemon maid!

13 mins - Sound? Hello?

19 mins - You know what I want to know? Where the end of this movie is.

26 mins - Oh look, they had a polarizer.

28 mins - The mirror shots are getting annoying.

35 mins - Clear camera! Who was that? The director?

45 mins - Kill them! Please? PLEASE? For the love of all that is Holy, stop this scene!

The problem, often with these "bad" bad movies, is the plot set up. Of course, every old Texas farmer has a tool shed out back, in which he keeps several pairs of handcuffs, just for situations like this. It is so stupid. You just have to wonder about the intelligence of the people who make these films.The filmmakers would have done better to actually do a film about the "Bloody" Benders. There was Pa and Ma and a son and daughter, both in their '20's. They ran an inn in Kansas, not Texas, in the 1870's. Before the law caught up with them, they murdered at least eleven guests staying at their inn.The mystery is what happened to them. They seemed to have disappeared. One story goes that the posse sent out to bring them back alive, caught up with them, killed them (burning the daughter alive) dumped the bodies down a well, and kept the $10,000, the Benders had with them. The posse then vowing an oath of secrecy never to tell anyone what they had done.There is some support to this story, including the Benders'shot up wagon, and the deathbed confession of one of the posse members. But, when someone went to look for the well, which the bodies of the Benders reportedly resided, it could not be found. As it had been covered up by a corn field. Enjoy!

Reply #2. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by The maker of Movie

Well, I can say that every word in this review is true.I know, I made the movie-sort of. It was a real learning experience of trying to make a movie. It was a rewritten script from a famous nameless publisher. The crew were volunteers who had apparently escaped from a film school.I was recovering from death in a wheel chair. It was shot on s-VHS. Oddly enough many concerned have gone on over the years to get a lot better in much better movies. I learned my lesson and spent a lot more money after teaming up with Ron Ford. Who is good, to make "The Crawling Brain" which gets good reviews. I am also selling "This Gun For Hire" which was mentioned as a trailer. We will be at "monsters Amongst Us" at the Radisson in LA on the 4th and fifth of Jan. Mention this review at the table and I will give you a free screener. William Combs

You have to wonder why people would even want to rearrange a plot line that is already gold. If this movie was shot to be a reenactment of the real life incident, it would make for a interesting flick. The Bender guys waiting behind a blanket set up as a wall, while the daughter gives spiritual advice to unsuspecting guests, then *BAM*! The guest falls to the floor after being hit in the head with an axe. Then it could work it's way into a 30 minute incestuous lesbian scene between the mother, daughter, and an electrical unicorn named Mr. Fuzzybottom. Again, this would still be a true story.

I am a relative of these people that they made a movie about but I am now just starting to find out details. When I was younger it was just stories grandpa would tell. My grandfather was orphaned in Kansas, his fathers name was John, so was his , my father, and now me if anyone has more info please let me know.