Faiza: "The uncertainty is driving me crazy"

"I have no idea how this will end, how long it will take. The uncertainty is driving me crazy," writes Greenpeace Netherlands campaigner Faiza Oulahsen in a letter from her cell in Murmansk, Russia. She writes about her experiences from entering the Greenpeace icebreaker Arctic Sunrise until a few days ago when she along with 29 others lost their freedom to the Russian security forces. "Two months in jail is one thing, but then? What then?"

Today is Saturday the 28th September I believe, around 12 o’clock. After 9 days of being locked up and cut off from all communication you tend to lose track of time. I was locked up on the ship from Thursday 19 September 18:30 until Tuesday evening.

Shortly before we were taken to shore, Mannes and I spoke to our Consul, Martin Groenstege. A friendly man who gave us hope. After we told him about our situation he told us about the work being done by Greenpeace to support us. Very moving to hear! And we were very happy to know that we have not been forgotten.

About two hours later a translator arrived with a few more FSB’s [formerly the KGB] and we were told that we were going to be taken to land and had 10 minutes to get all our things. We were given the indication that we should pack for about 24 hours. I rushed off to my room where I was still able to make a quick call to Ben and informed him that in a few minutes we were going to be taken ashore to the "Department of Investigation." I then resumed packing and packed my jacket, gloves, underwear, 2 thermals, glasses and toothbrush. Now, after four days, I am sorry I didn’t pack more clean clothes.

On Tuesday we went, for approximately half an hour, on the boat, with the Coast Guard, split in two groups. After half an hour of sailing we were brought to land where I finally had around 10 minutes to be outside and take in the fresh air. After that we were taken by bus to (I think) the head office of the FSB. After arrival, I was one of the first ones to be taken in to what I thought would be an interrogation. There I sat, on a chair inside a cold room, across from a lady who was busy typing. Next to me was a translator, a young lady, who apparently had studied English. Suddenly she was called in by the FSB, together with a few others, and it looked like they did not have much of a choice but to cooperate. She told me that a written report had to be compiled on the incident. I requested a Dutch translator and was told, "That's not possible."

I willingly stated that I would confirm my personal details, but that I would not say anything further until such time as a lawyer was present. "It's just a report" they said. I laughed and said, "I need my lawyer." I gave them the name and telephone number of our two lawyers. After a while Vladizlav, my lawyer, came in.

Around midnight I was taken to the rest of the group. At that moment, a number [of people] were handcuffed and taken away. After that we were supposed to be incarcerated for 48 hours. That’s crap because we had already been incarcerated for five days on the ship. Handcuffed we were taken away in groups to three different buildings. Upon arrival we were put together with six women from our group in a cell. It took quite a while before we were called one by one for intake; therefore we just laid on the floor and wooden tables, because we were dead tired.

Around 5 o'clock in the evening and after taking my fingerprints, I was taken to my cell. A bit later Camila and Alex were brought in. It was ice cold and the lights were on constantly.

The following day we went again to the office. The previous night I was informed that I was going to be charged with piracy and other made-up stories. Today I get to hear who the leaders of the investigation team are — of course drafted in a Russian document. I requested a translation on paper and a copy of the original document. I was told that I had to get my lawyer to request it from the "General in Moscow." At the end of the day I was taken back to the cell.

The next day, Thursday 26/9 was a very heavy day. We were again transported in busses, but this time in a dark, locked up metal cage, where just one person could fit, like animals get transported, to the FSB office.

There we were placed and locked up in windowed cages and we waited for the hearing. Very inhumane.

After a few of us had had the hearing, we were informed that we were under arrest and would be put away for two months until the trial. Alex burst out in tears. I started to lose the calmness and self-control I had been using the past couple of days, slowly but surely. Two months in a cell is one thing but after that? What comes after that? A sentence of a few months or a few years in a case based on lies?

Everything is completely against the rules. The things that the FSB is accusing us of are full of all of these inaccuracies and are things they are guilty of themselves. Nothing is certain. You just need someone at the top to think it and we disappear in the cell. Martin, the consul, said that I should stay calm because the Dutch have a good communication with the Russians. Good communication?? For what, I ask myself? Over the fact that the Russians illegally entered Dutch territory in international waters? Is the Dutch Government demanding our release? Immediately? The Russians are not even allowed to arrest us and still they do it. They do exactly whatever they feel like.

I have no idea how this is going to end, or how long it's going to take. The uncertainty drives me crazy. I heard that Putin publicly said that it wasn't piracy. However his so called "general" has watered down some of the charges. But still we are in jail. 22 of us have been arrested, 8 of us held in detention for 72 hours over and above the 48 hours. They still have to get me and the 7 others a translator for the hearing, and I hope they don’t find one until Sunday because then I still stand a chance to be deported.

Your fault, you knew that capturing an oil platform is illegal but you did it anyway. So get it. Or you thought russian security forces had to let you...

Your fault, you knew that capturing an oil platform is illegal but you did it anyway. So get it. Or you thought russian security forces had to let you come in freely? Stupid. Get what you deserve, you wanted scandal, you got it.

The activists were not "capturing" anything. They were protesting peacefully, as GP activists have been doing for 40 years. The anything but...

The activists were not "capturing" anything. They were protesting peacefully, as GP activists have been doing for 40 years. The anything but peaceful Russian authorities / Gazprom goons however, did capture a ship with all hands, making a travesty of international (and their own) law. And, unless certain commentators, they must have known exactly what was going on. So everything they claim now about safety concerns is simply BS. This is NOT a Russian issue, this is as international as it gets.

"...have been doing for 40 years." Ok. Now its time to stop this show - at least about Russian property.
I hope, your "activists&...

"...have been doing for 40 years." Ok. Now its time to stop this show - at least about Russian property.
I hope, your "activists" will still "love nature" after 3-5 yrs of prison.
Welcome to Russia, green pisses...

to "max" (who is a women)
Have you Nazis still not learned the war is over and you can't threaten other people anymore?
I gu...

to "max" (who is a women)
Have you Nazis still not learned the war is over and you can't threaten other people anymore?
I guess you have eaten too much from Tschernobyl with radition.
Only Egoist who only think on themself in the current situation and have no clear thinking and intelligence for the future speak like you. You are manic depressic, and obsessed, go into therapy, you are on the edge of beeing crazy...
Stopp putting your shit on others and leave in peace good brave people who care for the world, their fellow humans and animals, and the future.

Is there any reason why they should get lower punishment than russian law is asking for ??? I think these GP activists will enjoy their stay somewher...

Is there any reason why they should get lower punishment than russian law is asking for ??? I think these GP activists will enjoy their stay somewhere in Arctic............ Hard labour during day gives warmth, so no heating be gas or oil is needed and as they will be tired in evening........... no light is needed........... So GP will get what they wanted............notr polluting the Arctic !!!

You, as so many others, talk about GP and their people without knowing shit about it. About who this person is ans why she is there, about who are the...

You, as so many others, talk about GP and their people without knowing shit about it. About who this person is ans why she is there, about who are the leaders and if they ever got in jail or in first line of actions (which some of them did recently, by the way) and about lots of other things, following the universal rule: the less you know, the more shit you talk.

Greenpeace does with its money what 4 million people who support them want it to do. Wanna change that? You know what to do. It's very simple. Doing otherwise would be betraying these people. If they want to support the tree-planting association that I understand you are about to create, they will. Don't worry. Just let them choose, ok? That's democratic.

I am so proud of each one of you, and I am sure that everything you are enduring is going to be so useful to the cause we are all serving! You are in ...

I am so proud of each one of you, and I am sure that everything you are enduring is going to be so useful to the cause we are all serving! You are in a jail, I'm at home, and no matter how much effort I try to put, to let people know, and to sign the petition, it always seems to me that I will never do enough. Stay strong, and don't let anyone tell you that you should have stayed home, you are doing something great for all of us, and we thank you so much! We will not abandon you and I'm sure you'll be home safe and sound very soon. Please, everybody sign http://www.greenpeace.org/freethearctic30

courage and the hope of a better world!
they take the risk and get it. but no one of us, sitting here in warm and dry chamber, can understand wh...

courage and the hope of a better world!
they take the risk and get it. but no one of us, sitting here in warm and dry chamber, can understand what it mean, to be in jail, and harder than that, to be in russian jail.
it hurts to read...it hurts to think over it.
human rights....trample under foot!
send a big thanks to all of the 30...
they take the risk for everyone of us!

Insolent protesters rammed a boat with border guards, it can be seen on the video. Thereafter, a Coast Guard has the right to shoot to kill. But the R...

Insolent protesters rammed a boat with border guards, it can be seen on the video. Thereafter, a Coast Guard has the right to shoot to kill. But the Russian border guards are too humane, they just arrested the perpetrators. Greenpeace has to say thanks to these guys.

I've seen all the videos too and Andrew is right, they didn't ram into any boat, and didn't make anyone else run any risk whatsoever. Lega...

I've seen all the videos too and Andrew is right, they didn't ram into any boat, and didn't make anyone else run any risk whatsoever. Legal experts all around the world, as well as lots of human rights groups, have confirmed that this was a peaceful demonstration and in no way an act of piracy, and these people should be released immediately.

Disagree. I watched it again. They are coming closer to try and rescue their friend, and the wind, waves and gushes of water projected upon them make ...

Disagree. I watched it again. They are coming closer to try and rescue their friend, and the wind, waves and gushes of water projected upon them make it impossible to manoeuvre a zodiac that precisely in such circumstances. In any case, I see absolutely no justification for bringing out guns, let alone firing at anyone !

I admire these brave soldiers from russian Coast Guard !! They were doing the job they get payed for and by their earnings support their wives and ch...

I admire these brave soldiers from russian Coast Guard !! They were doing the job they get payed for and by their earnings support their wives and children. All this Greenpeace activity is some stunt for adreanlin junkies who want get some publicity. They attack other peoples private property and start crying like babies when other do same like their usual practices. Stay upraised and take your judgement in jail............... Don't cry for me Greenpeace.................. :-)

oh, perhaps, the russian guards are human enough to free us from you by shouting... ;) shouting humans is inhuman at anytime. You are a crazy guy and...

oh, perhaps, the russian guards are human enough to free us from you by shouting... ;) shouting humans is inhuman at anytime. You are a crazy guy and mind washed by your own secret service employers, I think our time should be to worthy to spent it with you, as your only purose is distraction of the right focus and disturb the others-but fortunately they will not respond ;) poor you. job not well done. no chance

Well done, Faiza and the others. You all knew that this could be tough, and that Russia is not exactly a champion of human rights. But someone has to ...

Well done, Faiza and the others. You all knew that this could be tough, and that Russia is not exactly a champion of human rights. But someone has to do these things, and you stepped forward and did it. You can post as much as you like in FAcebook, but at the end of the day, the actions that take this issue to a global level are done by brave people like you. And for that, we all owe you our respects. Keep up the spirit, there's an army of people out here working to get you out, and to carry your message to the rest of the world.

We're talking here of jailing people for peaceful actions to call awareness on global issues. So I imagine you'd be proud to jail Gandhi, Mart...

We're talking here of jailing people for peaceful actions to call awareness on global issues. So I imagine you'd be proud to jail Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mandela or others who have demonstrated to express their opinions ? Pride indeed...

And a real numpty does not need to distinguish between demonstration on a lawn in front of White House from breaching offshore installation's safe...

And a real numpty does not need to distinguish between demonstration on a lawn in front of White House from breaching offshore installation's safety zone and climbing on top of it. Fiery speeches from atop a high horse remain plentiful no matter what the realities on the ground are. Well, some things never change...

White House lawn ? That's a joke, surely. Greenpeace as well as other non-violent groups take action by getting into strategic places worldwide, n...

White House lawn ? That's a joke, surely. Greenpeace as well as other non-violent groups take action by getting into strategic places worldwide, nuclear power plants, climbing buildings, blocking transports of dangerous waste, getting involved physically against illegal fishing/whaling, in many countries/seas around the world. They know in some cases this means going against the law and getting fined for it. but we are talking of peaceful protests, and these people clearly don't belong in jail ! Activists have for example managed to get into several nuclear power plants to demonstrate their lack of safety, but they don't get jailed for it, because they're not terrorists, and their work, research and awareness raising is respected around the world ! Keep it up guys !!

you again.. now with another name...I thought we told you before that you can't suceed with your humiliating crap here... I think no Russians are ...

you again.. now with another name...I thought we told you before that you can't suceed with your humiliating crap here... I think no Russians are proud of their government for violating human rights and are banned from the whole world. therefore it needs some propaganda to get them on track , I guess. But, surprise: with attacking peaceful nice people you can't get anybody to your side.. poor you again... failed..

I can protest freely in all the countries I have visited............ even in Russia if you accept rules and laws !!!

As a danish politici...

I can protest freely in all the countries I have visited............ even in Russia if you accept rules and laws !!!

As a danish politician said to danish Greenpeace activist........... Try to piss on a stone in Mekka as protest against what ever......... What you think then will happen ????

Greenpeace now is SPAMING russian Embassies world wide with their nonsense !!! What you think russian have done about this ??? They have bought a bigger shredder !!! Greenpeace will change NOTHING by these stupid actions !!!! Activists only want have their adrenalin kick........and Greenpeace wants publicity in media !!!! That's it, and that's all !!!

Try to arrange same event like Greenpeace did in Hamburg at Elbphilharmony at the walls of Gazprom's Headquarter in Moscow!!!

I will make bet with Greenpeace: They do NOT dare !!!! Even it would give much more publicity !!! Think about all people living in Moscow, all the diplomatic institutions from many countries in whole world, all multi national companies operating in Russia like Ikea, Mediamarkt, Hallyburton, Ford, Renault, OBI.......... endless list............. They all would see this brave action in reality and maybe start thinking about Greenpeace, their tasks and their methods............... But they do NOT DARE !!!!!! :-) :-)