My adventures with the Realize gastric band and search for a more passionate life!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

coming out of hiding

My blog has turned into such a dang pity party I don't even want to post anymore.

If I could convey one thing to you all it is that my life has not EVER been like it has been the past few months. I am truly a positive, upbeat, optimistic, strong individual.

a few bullets:

*I'm going to be a Grandma. My youngest son (18) is going to be a father. Here is what I can do.... Support him, love him, hug him (which I've done more times in the last week that in five years)

* My husbands kidneys are not functioning. Confirmed today. Next week we find out more but looks like further treatment will be in Portland (3.5 hrs away) Hope that is temporary

* I can't stop stuffing my face when I get nervous. I realize it when I am doing it but I don't have a great hold on it.

* the other night I was talking to my BFF and going into all the above and I took my ambien near the start of the call. I got distracted and while chatting and knowing I would hang up soon I took my ambien. AGAIN! Slept Like A Rock! I split mine and only take half doses, so really it was a full dose and there was no harm except for the pillow wrinkles on my face that lasted half the next day.

So there it is.I will get through it.

It's Wednesday so here is my sad, sad weekday dish.

Coffee

yearly mammogram - Have you scheduled yours? Do IT!

Coffee

three bites of a bacon cheeseburger (no bun)

a few sips of water, not enough for sure (headache, tired, mean)

a half of an orange cream slush from sonic (yes I did)

coffee

cheese it chex mix stuff (1/2 cup) I bought a 4lb bag of it when company was here. Sigh

Wow! That is hard to process isn't it? Grandma? I have a friend whose daughter announced she was pregnant on her 18th birthday. But she is so happy with that little grandson. Loves him so much...you will be the same!!! Sounds like you are handling it well. Love is the answer -- so simple but it really is...hang in there and big hugs to you!

Congratulations for your son. I too understand your place. I will be a grandma in July. I am 35. All we can do is hope for the best and support them in any way we can without actually raising the child. I hope that your husbands situation improves.

As for being a grandmother, you're doing the right thing by supporting your son. It's scary for him, too. Shoot...I was scared to death (and sobbed miserably) both times I saw a + on the test...and I'm old! Haha! You're a great woman.

wow you do have a lot going on. you're definitely excused for having a bit of a pity party. but now it's time to pick yourself up and brush yourself off. you need to be in tip top shape to hold hubby's hand through his medical crisis and to support your son through this fast track into adulthood. oh... and to keep up with the newest member of the family when he/she arrives. you'll be ok. just take deep breaths and reach out to us whenever the need arises!

So sorry you are going through all the trying times. Keep on blogging. It helps and we are here to listen. And if extra dosing the Ambien every once in a while means getting a good night sleep then go for it.

Wow - that's a lot of shit going on. I hope while you are working on taking care of everyone else and keeping everything as pulled together as is possible you find time to take care of yourself too. I bet blogging will help with that!!

I'm sending prayers your way - for your husband, for your son, for you, for the baby to be and his or her mamma to be.

Both my mom and my sister had their first child when they were 18 and my sister's son had HIS first child at age 18 so this means that they were both grandmas at age 36 so it could be worse - lol! That may be why it takes 40 weeks for the baby to come. We need lots and lots of time to get used to the idea.

I'm sorry about your husband. Let me know if you have time for coffee when you're coming through Eugene.

I think your eating and depression sounds about right considering everything that is going on. I wish I had some answers, but sometimes life just stinks! That new baby is something to look forward to though.