The Irascible ProfessorSMIrreverent Commentary
on the State of Education in America Today

by Dr. Mark H. Shapiro

"Salted
snack foods, candy, gum, most sweet desserts, fried fast food and carbonated
beverages are some of the major junk foods. Generally, they offer
little in terms of protein, vitamins or minerals and lots of calories from
sugar or fat. The term "empty calories" reflects the lack of nutrients."....
...Joanne Larsen, Ask
the Dietitian.

Commentary
of the Day - March 3, 2002: Headlines To Ponder at Krispy Kreme U.

Here at Krispy
Kreme U. (aka Cal State Fullerton)
the student newspaper goes by the name of The Daily Titan, even
though it isn't always exactly a daily newspaper. However, the students
who put the rag together try hard. The truth be told, they have an
uphill battle. Many of the more cynical campus denizens refer to
the Titan as The Daily Error or The Daily Fishwrap,
and on some days the amount of "news" in the Titan is so small that
that the issue, exclusive of ads, can be read completely in less than a
minute.

But, every once
in a while they get it right. One of those moments happened this
past Tuesday when the editor juxtaposed two stories on page eight that
complemented each other perfectly. The headline for the story at
the top of the page read "Krispy
Kreme theory has no holes", while the headline for the second story
on the page read "Possible threat to U.S. food supply scares FDA".
The first article was written by Daily Titan staff writer Sabrina
Sakaguchi, while the second story had been picked up from the wires and
was written by Michael Kilian of the Chicago Tribune.

Sakaguchi's story
reported on a visit to campus by Roger
Glickman, who is president of the southern California company (Great
Circle Family Foods) that operates the Krispy Kreme donut franchises in
this area. One of Cal State Fullerton's claims to fame is that it
was the first university campus in the nation to host a Krispy Kreme donut
outlet. Actually, it is more of a "virtual" Krispy Kreme location
than a real Krispy Kreme donut shop. At the real Krispy Kreme's the
donuts are made on the premises, and the aroma of hot Krispy Kremes can
be detected for blocks in any direction. The IP's arteries start
to close down at the first whiff of fresh Krispy Kreme original glazed
donuts. Here on campus, the Krispy Kremes are brought in by the truckload,
and run through the microwave to heat them up. (A cold Krispy Kreme
is virtually indigestible by anyone over the age of 30.)

The purpose of
Glickman's visit was to give a the keynote speech for "Business Week".
Given the present economic climate this probably made more sense than bringing
in someone from the local biotech or electronics industries. While
some of their stocks have nose-dived during the last year, at $36.56 (Friday's
closing price) KKD
is only off its high for the past 12 months by only 22%. So what
if it sells at more than 90 times earnings, and insiders have dumped billions
of dollars worth of the stock in the past 12 months. Glickman, whose
picture suggests that he is a frequent consumer of his product as well
as an ebullient entrepreneur, shared his formula for success with our business
students. According to Glickman, "Krispy Kreme is the best donut
on the planet. It's an irresistible, affordable indulgence."

Indeed, some campus
wags expressed the opinion that the level of the cuisine at Cal State Fullerton
actually improved when Krispy Kreme opened for business at the Titan Student
Union food court.

That brings us
to the second story. According to the Chicago Trib's Kilian,
Claude Allen, who is the deputy secretary for the U.S. Department of Health
and Human Services is quite concerned about the vulnerability of the food
supply to tampering by terrorists. Apparently, less than three
percent of imported food is inspected by federal agents; and, Allen has
said that "we need to develop technology that allows food safety inspectors
to test the product before it enters this country." The Irascible
Professor would not argue with that, but he has to wonder what all those
Krispy Kreme donuts (and the other fast food items that are sold on campus)
are doing to the health of Cal State Fullerton students. Sometimes
it seems like the campus food service believes that the four basic food
groups are sugar, salt, fat, and cholesterol!