Jason has a warning for you if you plan to order any computers from Dell, but need the system urgently: believe nothing that your online shopping cart tells you. The estimated shipping date for your system may or may not reflect reality. Then, like Jason, you may find yourself with an unacceptably long time frame only after the order is finalized and your credit card charged. [More]

From separate Best Buy stores, in different parts of the country, David and Adama sent us these two pictures of deeply confusing, Target-worthy sales. Would you like to buy a Blu-Ray of “The Fugitive” for only $14.99? Or you could go a few inches away, where it’s $14.99. If you need something to play it on, you can get a Blu-Ray plater for 50% off its original price if you buy a TV. That original price is either $129.99 or $149.99 depending on where you look. [More]

Sometimes calling customer service just leads to theater of the absurd. Earlier today, reader Will blogged about his recent interaction with Amazon customer service. He writes that when he called up Amazon to find out the location of a missing package. The rep informed him that the package had been eaten by an alligator. [More]

Andrew sent us this perplexing banner from MLB.tv. He saw it on the Atlanta Braves’ web site. “NO BLACKOUTS!” it proclaims. Then at the bottom: “Blackout and other restrictions apply.” Well, at least the banner ad is honest. [More]

Sean is accusing Wachovia of using tricky online transaction posting that makes it difficult to tell when you’re in danger of slipping into the red. He says that although his account never appeared to be overdrawn, but he was still hit with overdraft charges thanks to funny accounting. He writes: [More]

Reader David found this puzzling display at his local Office Depot. On one side, the card says “Free Assembly On All Chairs In Stock,” on the other side, the card claims that a “smart idea” would be to pay $8 to have your chair assembled.

Steve was mailing some packages from his home in Virgina to various points in the country, and noticed something strange on his receipt. The packages destined for Pennsylvania and Washington state are leaving the contiguous United States. What?

These Play Doh ads from Singapore don’t seem to be aimed at kids. Then again, the message “safe no matter what you make” seems to be aimed directly at parents of kids who play with Play Doh, which leads us back to our initial thought, which is wtf kind of kid requiring parental supervision is shaping eerily realistic looking bottles of pills and razor blades for fun? Play Doh, the fun sad toy that tastes like tears!

Regular Consumerist readers are familiar with our exposure of Target’s absurdist pricing policies, and this is a particularly confusing example. Reader Rob in Minnesota noticed a nice promotion on a 3-pack of Brita water filters, which came with a free small Nalgene water bottle and a few packets of drink mix. Nice deal, but he couldn’t help noticing that the identical 3-pack of filters without the “free” water bottle cost $1.50 less. See a bigger picture and a twist to the story, inside.

An Apple store in Ohio doesn’t want to clutter up its elegant store layout with signage, so you have to rely on a color coded system to find the appropriate employee to ring up your purchase. It’s like the Homeland Security Advisory System, retooled to measure how inconvenienced you’ll be.

Jonathan’s wife ordered some clothes from Banana Republic, and was confused when another, similarly-sized box arrived on their doorstep from Banana Republic a week later. This box was clearly not destined for her, since she had not ordered the exciting new “Open Your Own Banana Republic” playset.

Justin sent us this gamepiece he scraped like a wet scab off the side of his moist Subway beverage cup. (I do not like gamepieces affixed to fast food drinks.) We’re in awe at its nearly k?an-like phrasing. How is an instant win not an instant winner? How do you peel the gamepiece that has already been peeled? Feel free to use these in your meditations.

Loyal Consumerist readers may have noticed that we haven’t made any recent posts in our widely acclaimed series of posts about how discount retailer Target is insane. Has Target sought help and found its way back to reality? No. We were just saving up material.

Leo thought that letting his two dogs greet an approaching ADT salesman would be enough of a hint that he didn’t want their security services. Nope! The well-trained salesman sensitively barked: “You know what they are doing to dogs now, don’t you? They’re spraying oven-cleaner into their face, killing them in 20 seconds!”

Orchida Coconut Juice displays nutrition data in both English and Spanish, but the values aren’t the same. The English nutrition panels claims that the juice has 240 calories and no fat. Apparently, our Spanish-speaking friends are supposed to read that as 150 calories and 2.5 grams of fat. Pictures of the strange panels, inside…