I don't know about every guy out there but for me it's easier than the alternative. I'm a mwm that doesn't get what I need at home. I hate to generalize but the running joke about oral sex stopping after marriage is true at my home, and we don't have sex as often as we used too. We both work alot and time is limited. you may say that if you have time to cheat then you have time to play at home. Well that is true but both need to want it for it to work. I help out around the house as much as I can, I do the shopping and the cooking. Plus I work 60 hrs a week. She does the cleaning and paying the bills and she works 5 12hr days too. I swing shifts and she works days, so that adds to the mess. I love her and don't want to leave. I've talked to her about the swinging lifestyle and all she does is cry and tell me that I'm all she needs an isn't she all I need? Well how the hell do you answer that truthfully with out hurting her? So there you go ppl who think cheating husbands are all just sick bastards, understand that there are some loving husbands out there that just need more than they are getting at home, and that want to stay with their wives because they love them not because their afraid of divorce. I don't want a divorce, hell she makes more than me and money isn't the problem. It's the lack of nooky lol

I also invite you to write individually so I can release photos as the are private

The Villages FL

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Unfortunately, while I would prefer to be candid it is not possible. Many years ago she said I could go out; however, as years went by her condition has worsened.

Three years ago, 6 weeks post first hip replacement took her on a cruise to Europe. It was for our 25th anniversary belated for a year due to multiple hospitalizations on her part that year.

We brought an aide-- Difficult pushing up hills in her wheelchair. At home, she uses a power chair.

This year taking 7 friends with us to Alaska. She is not doing well and I am hopeful that we will be be able to make it.

I will attach photos for friends.

The Villages FL

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A Modern Love Story

Long time coming.

My wife as clearly stated in profile has a severe neurological disease (secondary progressive MS). She has a pump that renders her numb from the thoracic level down. The alternative was severe spasm in which her lower extremities would be numb. To do a pelvic exam it took 3 male attendants to spread her legs into stirrups. She initially had a vaginal catheter-later changed to catheter going from her abdomen into her bladder.

She has severe cognitive changes; however, she does have an occasional good day. Since Thanksgiving 4 hospitalizations over one week for UTI. I change meds every 3-8 hours when at home via PIC line.

Out of pocket I have spent between one half and a million dollars. All carriers consider the care needed as custodial... I get no help from government, her family, or MS society.

On good days she is a paraplegic on most a quad. She needs help to change TV channel, comb her hair, or eat. MS is a disease that kills affection. People with it tend to be heat sensitive. In other words a caress, or simply a hug renders her uncomfortable due to body heat. During hospitalizations we bring in 3- 5 fans.

Four years ago, returning home from town a asshole flipped me in the van I was operating, and I have not been able to practice law since. (Two hips replaced-good recovery; 3 herniated discs -you learn to live with pain. She would often say that when she was gone I would have a life. This may not be true ... as my accident showed.

Following my second hip procedure- I decided that I had to open up. Is my action cheating--I will allow my conscience be my guide. For over ten years intimacy (not sex) did not exist due to her disease.

For some who argue that I should abandon her--I can not, and will Not.

I enjoy photography for the enjoyment it gives others, and the challenge it gives me. (Gallery open on request).

In the past when I have been candid with people, most woman look at me like I have horns. Most men do not understand what is my drive.

To those who question others motives; yes, there're many bastards out there . But, there are also intelligent, empathic human beings worth getting to know. Be it in a lifestyle or not.

As an aside, it is common unfortunately when someone has a chronic illness for their friends to abandon them. My wife after many years with the disease was virtually abandoned by both her family and friends. MS is not contagious.

The Villages FL

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I just found out by couples last year that a lot of guys do that. It seems to be easier to play as a single guy. I hear horror stories of couples trying to get together and finding that the 4 aren't compatible. And it seems to be mostly the wife isn't really into swinging, or she doesn't like the other husband so nothing goes down. I play with my girl and by myself ( yes she is aware and approves ) and have fun either way. But I have to admit sometimes we have met couples and they were wanting to be more permanent friends and couple exclusively which is not what we wanted so it turned us off and we ate and left. So not to excuse cheating, but my guess is that a lot of couples aren't seriously into the lifestyle or understand how to really play so the guy steps out because he just can't get his women to go through with it. My advice is some couples need to do soul searching before they waste others time.

Nashville TN

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I just found out by couples last year that a lot of guys do that. It seems to be easier to play as a single guy. I hear horror stories of couples trying to get together and finding that the 4 aren't compatible. And it seems to be mostly the wife isn't really into swinging, or she doesn't like the other husband so nothing goes down. I play with my girl and by myself ( yes she is aware and approves ) and have fun either way. But I have to admit sometimes we have met couples and they were wanting to be more permanent friends and couple exclusively which is not what we wanted so it turned us off and we ate and left. So not to excuse cheating, but my guess is that a lot of couples aren't seriously into the lifestyle or understand how to really play so the guy steps out because he just can't get his women to go through with it. My advice is some couples need to do soul searching before they waste others time.

Nashville TN

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I do know I have opened a can of worms here as the topic of circumcision is a very emotional thing. And there is a very big movement in this country to "Stop the mutilation of boys." I know more than a few men who went through the very painful process as adults due to the wife’s not wanting to fellatio their un cut penis due to bad taste. This topic has also been brought up around the hot tub. I met an emergency room nurse who works at a major inner city hospital. It seems a few years ago government assistance programs stopped paying for circumcising boys at birth. Emergency rooms are now seeing young boys of welfare mothers coming in with horrendous bacteria and yeast infections up under their foreskins. There is a new movement to try and get Sub Sahara Africa to circumcises boys as a way to curb hetero HIV infections. The theory is the virus is able to survive under the foreskin and penetrate the epidermis. There is a direct link between cultures who do not circumcise and hetero HIV infections.

Tulare CA

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Take a look at his profile and you will get an entirely different story. His post says he is not getting what he wants from his wife and I guess he is being honest because his profile indicates an interest in males and he is certified by another single male.

He is just another closet bi male looking for cock, not more pussy. Doesn't make it any better or worse, he is still cheating on his wife, just with guys.

The one genuine thing I do sense from his original post is he does love his wife and is conflicted about what he is doing. Unfortunately, the choice he made is the selfish one. Either get a divorce so she can make a new life for herself or make a sacrifice and save your marriage.

New Orleans LA

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Are you uncut? If you are uncut perhaps this is the reason. You taste as bad as an arm pit and butt hole combined; bad. Those Jews figured out a very long time ago: If they wanted their wives to perform oral sex they had to throw away the putz. I know a couple of fully grown males who suffered through getting the procedure done as adults because of this. Or if you are cut; how is your hygiene? You know that when you dated you made sure you were well scrubbed and clean. How is your hygiene now?

Tulare CA

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Too many excuses for your bad behavior. You get points for sharing household duties but you lose points for not being honest in your marriage, Lifestyle is not an out let to cheat. It's is an outlet to share. Your match or adult ff are your go to cheat sites. You need to make time in your marriage to find out what made your marriage so great in the 1st place . Seek help. Learn how to budget your time. You know from what I am reading you need to brush up on your foreplay skills. It's not just about you and what you want . Sometime it's about what she needs . Lots of times trust me on this one it's not about your dick. Be as thoughtful with your intimacy skills as you are with sharing household chores. Good Luck.

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To all the married men who say they need more than what they get at home...please consider this ..your wife may want more too..but just not the same "MORE" that you want. You may just want more animalistic pounding lifestyle is great sex...but she may want more tlc and you make me cum so hard sex..if you love her as you say, try to please her more often so she actually loves having sex with you. Even at swing parties..try pleasing the women who are pleasing you!!

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