People went into Star Wars Episode IV back in 1977 without a damn clue as to what they were about to witness, and they were blown away. These days, thanks to our desire and need to know everything before it happens and/or yell at people for telling us things we don’t want to know before they happen, chances are we will go into Episode VII with a fairly good idea of what to expect.

Personally, I’m not bothered by that. In a culture that knows everything that’s coming, it demands that our filmmakers be better in their execution. Give us the vision we have in our minds, or make it even better. Or GTFO.

With that said, Devin Faraci over at Bad Ass Digest has unearthed some details on Star Wars VII. It’s exactly the kind of thing that Faraci would probably complain about if someone else had unearthed them, but since he is the source, he’s happy to collect the page views (and for the record, Faraci is a fairly reliable source, though if it turns out he’s wrong, please don’t forget to blame and blaspheme him accordingly. It’s what Devin would do!)

Here’s what he’s got on the cold open/plot summary (spoilers, obvs.):

Imagine the standard Star Wars crawl, and when it ends the camera pans up to the stars. But instead of a spaceship zooming into frame we see… a hand! A severed hand, tumbling through space. A severed hand gripping a light saber.
That hand falls onto a desert planet, where it is discovered by characters who will be our heroes. One is Daisy Ridley. The other is John Boyega, who is playing someone trying to change his path in life (again, I’m keeping it vague here). They recognize the light saber as a Jedi relic and decide to return it to the proper people.

Their quest takes them off world, and they meet up with Han Solo and Chewbacca, who aren’t flying around in the Millenium Falcon anymore but are piloting… well, that could be a spoiler. I’ll leave it. Anyway, Han and Chewie recognize the light saber as Luke’s, and they say they haven’t seen their friend in thirty years, since the events of Return of the Jedi.

So begins a quest to find the missing Jedi Master. Meanwhile, on an ice planet, nefarious forces are building a super weapon, one capable of destroying not planets but entire solar systems…

I will say this: It sounds neat, and appropriately targeted toward a very wide audience in terms of age. I really don’t’ mind the kid-friendliness of the franchise (in fact, now that I have kids, I encourage it), I only hope that J.J. Abrams film doesn’t do a disservice to those kids by insulting them.

If kids can handle Bambi, Finding Nemo, Iron Giant, E.T., and How to Train Your Dragon 2, then I think they can handle a Star Wars movie with a little heft and gravity.