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Friday, December 2, 2011

WTF

WTF will be a regular feature in which we vent our frustration or admiration on player and team performances during the season that leave us baffled and dropping Bruce Boudreau f-bombs.

Roberto leads the league in doors opened with 127

Everyone loves a good rant and we find ourselves freely talking about the play of certain players or teams in the NHL throughout the season on a daily basis. Here are a few common rants you might be hearing about at this point in the season:

WTF Boston Bruins!
Really? You guys didn't lose in regulation in November? You went 12-0-1 after a brutal hangover in which you sat in the basement of the Eastern Conference. You didn't just beat teams, you killed teams. 7 times you scored 5 or more goals in that stretch. Nobody expected your terrible start to last long, but even more surprising was the run you went on as your embarrassed the Eastern Conference on your climb to the top of the Northeast Divison. WTF!

WTF Ovi!
I drafted you first overall in my Yahoo! pool. I picked you in my season-long pool in which I can't trade or drop you. I spent $9.5M on you in my weekly salary cap pool. What do I get for my faith in Ovechkin? 8 goals, a -6 rating, and only 14 PIMs? I miss the Ovi of 2008 that was a fantasy god. WTF!

Why are you always hurt? Do you really want to develop an insulting moniker or reputation like that of Tim Connolly or Rick DiPietro? You teased me with 6 points in 8 games after I drafted you as the top defenceman in my hockey pool. Maybe you should get safer equipment or start eating more vitamins because it seems like you've always been on the trainers table since HBO 24/7. WTF!

WTF Roberto Luongo!
Most people wanted you to fail, but I trusted you to get me 35+ wins this year playing for the Vancouver Canucks. Your 3.05 GAA and .892 SV% are an eyesore to look at and nobody will be pumping your tires with stats like that. You'll get your time to play when Schneider falters, but you'll probably have to post shutouts every game to stay in the lineup (oops nevermind, you blew it). I didn't want to say it, but you are being outplayed by a ginger. WTF!

WTF Tim Thomas!
In the last month you had 8 starts and won them all. You posted 3 shutouts, a 1.61 GAA and a .945 SV%. As a Leaf fan, I can't even hate you. I want to because you dominate Toronto, but I just can't bring myself to think of you like that. Your story is incredible as you became an NHL starter at age 32 after dipping your toes in every hockey league in the world. But seriously though, how are you so good and play like a road hockey goalie? WTF!

1 measly goal so far this year and on pace for 3! Who is he? Hall Gill? I picked him as one of my top 3 d-men in a league that give bonuses for d-men goals. Shit I got dudes off the waiver wire who are scoring circles around him right now. Where is the competitive fire?

About Dirty Dangle

Dirty Dangle Hockey is Toby and Mark Mead. Showcasing the lighter side of hockey as you need to have a sense of humour growing up a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. You can follow us on Twitter, like Dirty Dangle on FacebookFacebookor shoot us an email any time at dirtydangle@hotmail.ca