Melbourne & Spending Time With Your Spouse

by Kelly - Be A Fun Mum | June 8, 2011

My husband and I make it a priority to invest in our relationship. But it’s hard work! Finding time to go on a date, let alone eat dinner together, is difficult. I would say that our family isn’t child-centred. While a lot of our life revolves around our children, the relationship between Matt and I is very important for our family. You see, if Matt and I are on the same page, the kids benefit greatly from this. So, we try (but don’t always succeed) to find some time each week to be a couple. We call it “Together Time”.

In May, I had an opportunity to go down Melbourne for a Bloggers Brunch run by Kids Business and Room to Grow TV. My husband and I decided to take the opportunity to make a childless weekend of it. Oh, and I ADORE Melbourne. Just saying.

Bloggers Brunch Melbourne

I always enjoy meeting with other bloggers who understand that sometimes, Twittering while people are speaking is not impolite, but actually the opposite! I also enjoy talking to people about their products and why they are passionate about them.

I was especially impressed with the attention to detail in the Bruderproducts. They really are just like a real life version, right down to the number plates. My son adores his Bruder truck.

I also enjoyed looking at the clever Playskool products, smart MegaBlocks, gorgeous Pink Poppy pretties, and finding out that Disney on Ice will be in Brisbane for the school holidays (which I’m taking the kids to see).

5. he loves trains and trams, and navigated me around Melbourne like a pro!

6. he’s patient and happy for me to look at every second hand bookshop we walk past.

Finding time to be a couple

Matt and I are always looking for creative ways to have time together. What works (and what doesn’t) varies very much to where we are at in our lives, but here are some of the things that are worth a try:

1. Have a regular babysitter

My friend has a regular babysitting come on the same night every week. This hasn’t worked for us as my husband’s schedule is always changing, but if you can arrange regular dates like this, it’s brilliant!

2. Stay in date

You don’t necessarily have to go out of the house to have a date. Blue and I often feed the kids early and have a special dinner together, followed by a movie. The only trick here is to make sure you treat it like a date and don’t run around doing housework.

3. Day dates

Last year, I had a day during the week without any children at home. I made use of this time during the day to have lunch with Blu at his work. It worked surprisingly well because we both weren’t dead tired.

4. Weekend getaway

We’ve only just began to enjoy weekends away, and it’s nothing short of BRILLIANT! Having a weekend away without children is almost impossible when you have a baby to care for, but for those of you who are in the baby stage, just know it does happen — eventually.

5. Weekend brunch

A weekend brunch is another fun time to try. The tricky thing is finding a babysitter but it’s worth the effort.

In our experience, raising children brings such joy to a family, but it also can put a lot of strain on a couple’s relationship. Matt and I make it a priority to enjoy each other’s company without the children. Just as we also make it a priority to spend time with the children as a family. It’s hard work to make it happen but so very worth it.

When was the last time you went on a date with your spouse?

What Together Time ideas work for you?

Other Links

Kelly loves life at both ends of the spectrum: wearing high heel shoes one day and hiking boots the next; sipping tea out of a pretty cup and slurping hot coffee from a camping mug; challenging herself physically and stopping for quiet unhurried moments to feel the wind on her face. Kelly and her husband Matthew seek to live a fun and adventurous life with their four children and pet bird.

Comments

I love this post! My wonderful mother-in-law (who has raised three great kids) gave me some great advice as soon as we had our first baby. She told me that she and my father-in-law always put their relationship before everything else, and then the rest just fell into place. She told me as long as my husband and I were always on the same page, and always invested a little time each day on our relationship, it would make everything else easier. We now have a sort of motto, “teamwork”, where we always make sure everyday that we work as a team, not against each other. It works fanstastically, and our homelife is so very enjoyable. Thanks so much for sharing this post!!

Your MIL sounds very wise. I think it’s easy to get trapped in the child-centred mode in being a family but it really is so important to invest in your relationship with your spouse…because as you say, everything else then falls into place! And I LOVE your “teamwork” motto/concept. It makes homelife much more enjoyable. xxx

Thanks for this post! I’m really enjoying everything you have posted so far from when I started following (I still have to catch up on what I’ve missed!)
With a 5 month old bub, my partner and I have had a few issues. He has seemed to be stuck in his man cave (which is the sport on the TV). Yes he has spent some mornings with ‘us’ on the weekend but have to be home for the sport and he has gone out on a couple of benders with his mate. Anyway! We had to have a big chat…One of the things I told him was that he is supposed to be my ‘friend’ as well! Needless to say the last week has been awesome! He has emerged out of the cave! Suddenly we’re cooking dinner together, we always eat at the table together, he’s suddenly helpful in everyway, seeking conversations with me and last night we snuggled on the lounge and watched Dexter dvd and we are planning to go to the swans game at Aami stadium in July. We unfortunately live away from friends and family but do have a couple of friends, one of which has offered to babysit but he is a bit apprehensive about ‘putting someone else under pressure’ of looking after bub. So, I’m working on that cause he knows that we need some couple time.
And Melbourne! Oh what isn’t to love about Melbourne!
PS I’m also reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and its interesting! Will blog about it when I’m finished reading it.

Hey Neen. Thanks so much for your kind comments xxx. So glad to have you here. I think we all go through times in our relationship when things are rocky. I know my husband and I have!!! It’s about endurance, isn’t, and communication, and finding what works, and unconditional love, and teamwork… LOL

Relationships I think always take a lot of work but what is more rewarding?

Making dinner together and watching movie sounds like a perfect in-date! We haven’t made dinner together for a while. Thanks for the idea.

Best date night this year:
Putting the kids to bed early, lighting the fire, putting on an old jazz record, a glass of wine and a game of cards. So fun! It was something we used to do a lot when we were first together, and it’s been lovely bringing it back into our lives as parents.
It’s often hard after having a babe to want to make time to spend with your partner, especially when you’re dog-tired, you’re lost under piles of washing and dishes, and the house is a mess; but if you invest time into your relationship, you’re investing in the future of your family.
Great post, Kell – I’m a big fan of red too x

My husband and I have just started playing squash together once a fortnight. It’s a great way to spend time together, and it’s something that we both enjoy doing. I think if we are creative enough, we can always find a commonality, something that binds us together with our loved one. We’ve created a spinner (like the ones you get in some kids games) with different “dates” listed around the spinner: board game, dinner out, movies, husband’s choice, wife’s choice, husband cooks, wife cooks, dvd, music appreciation night, bowling… all of the things we love as a couple, our individual interests and a few fun ones thrown in there too! Each month when we’re planning our calendar we can use the spinner to block in some couple time in our calendar. Using the spinner keeps things interesting and varied so we’re not doing the same thing all of the time… We always go away, for at least a night, for our wedding anniversary too!

Ooh those trucks are awesome, I love the attention to detail and how classic they look at the same time! I love going on dates with my husband, it makes it fun and even though you spend all your time together having a date reminds you to ask your husband how he is doing and have a proper conversation without running around like a headless chook.

Love this post…Kelly and thank you for including me in….I still have to do 2nd post regarding this Bloggers Brunch meeting in Melbourne…
Personally when my kids where little, we made Saturday nights every so often, we go out,it made it hard as I do not have any immediate family around…but I got acquainted with some your teenagers they were probably 17 or in that age group…of families that I knew…and I used to ask them to baby sit for me in my own house…the children did not mind…as they were in their own environment and their sleeping routines where kept as normal….

There is always a way to work around this and find sometime to enjoy each other as couple..xxx

Always a pleasure to see you Marthese. I know exactly what you mean: for the marjority of the time we’ve had kids, we’ve been away from family so it can be hard to get away…but we’ve tried to make it a priority. Hope we can meet again soon. x

Hi I’ve been meaning for so long to leave you a comment, love your site, your blog and facebook page. Taking the time for your relationship is all part of being a fun mum and a happy family. I’ll be signing up to have you delievered into my inbox. Thanks

Hey Kel – I love this post! We just did a similar thing with Mark working away for the past 2 weeks I got your fabulous friend and my wonderful sister Jen to mind the boys and whipped down to spend the weekend together. Melbourne was nothing short of fantastic – it had everything – we travelled the world in that weekend and loved every moment together. The hardest part was saying goodbye again – I cried for half the bus trip out to the airport after a hurried good-bye wishing again I didn’t have to be saying good bye (like back in the dating days). We are all home together again now and we are reliving our memories of last weekend with the kids now. LOVE IT! Thanks for sharing xo Suz

Hi Suzy. Yes, I do know that gorgeous sister of yours Melbourne = AMAZING. And I know exactly what you mean about travelling the world while you are there. That is how I felt too. I’m so glad you’re all together again now… seperation is hard ay. xx