(Closed) The uninvited family

I come from a large, loud, angry family. They have never come to any events imoortant to me, even when I’ve offered to pay for them. My Fiance is from a very large but laid back family, and is totally not used to this. He and I want to have a small, intimate wedding ceremony and reception. That’s great because we can’t afford to have a ton of ppl there anyway.

His family being from oot will be okay with not being invited, mine will be pissed. I’m only inviting my godparents, immediate family, and grandma. The family not invited will expect to be there, and when not some will become mentally abusive.

Part of me is happy to not have them there as this will signify how I want the rest of my life. The other part is sad for the ones I don’t mind but can’t invite and I’m so scared for the fallout.

Eloping is not an option. My grandma can’t travel and we’re VERY close. An after party is not an option as we don’t have the money. So many of my family has wanted to do this for their weddings but have been too scared. Advice!!

You say that your family don’t come to your events, but then that they’ll expect to be at your wedding? If you don’t want them there, don’t invite them – have the wedding you want, not what someone else wants.

MaryMayJune: Spread the word that you’re having a small intimate affair with just immediate family and close friends. If you were throwing the event of the season and inviting everyone in town except your family that would make it more difficult, but as the wedding will actually be intimate they shouldn’t feel slighted. That doesn’t mean they won’t, but they shouldn’t 😉 Anyone callous enough to become abusive to you as a result is probably someone you won’t mind severing ties with. Be prepared for a lot of talk behind your back, but it sounds like more than a few of your cousins and such will admire you for taking a stand. Good luck!!