Helping women re-discover their light, while walking in their truth, unashamed.

Author: Takeia.

Hello beautiful souls,
I'm Takeia Cage, and I'm the CEO/Founder of Unashamed Queens!
I'm an advocate, momtrepreneur, life coach, and motivational blogger. I have always been dedicated to helping women re-discover their light, while walking in their truth, unashamed! It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties, when I discovered my calling to be an advocate for the women in my community. I have always wanted to be apart of a sisterhood that supported, uplifted, and celebrated women without us feeling judged or even ashamed of our journey. There wasn’t many women empowerment groups in my community that actually focused on celebrating queens, so I decided to create my own community for unashamed women. Now I am the founder of Unashamed Queens, a women’s empowerment group that focuses on supporting, uplifitng, and celebrating queenhood. I would always tell myself years ago that you can’t help anyone if you can’t help yourself, and today I believe that statement is so untrue. It wasn’t until I was re-discovering my own light, that I wanted to also encourage/help other women to re-discover theirs as well. I truly believe that we’re all stronger together, and that creating a safe-space for women to feel support and loved through sisterhood.

When you hear the term “self-care” what’s the first thing you think of?

A relaxing day at the spa? A trip to the nail salon? A warm bubble bath w/ a glass of wine? A little retail therapy? A day at the beach? Getting a wax? Reading a new book you got from the library? Going to the movies alone? Coffee date? Or maybe doing some type of meditation/yoga?

What self-care looks like to me…

When I think of self-care, I think about unplugging + getting intune with my inner-self. It’s investing, putting myself first, and loving myself enough to make myself a priority.

Self-care is taking the initiative time for yourself, when your mind and body is telling you otherwise.

As much as we know that we can’t pour from an empty cup, we still tend to keep pouring, until we’re completely empty, which isn’t healthy. We do this because we think that if we take time out for ourselves, we’re being selfish, but I am here to tell you that self-care isn’t selfish, it’s selfless.

Quick self-reflection…

A few years ago I would have never pictured myself practicing self-care, and digging deep within myself. I was definitely the type of person that made sure everything + everyone around me was great, which slowly made me lose myself. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with depression, that I knew I had to take better care of my mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth it.

Also…

If you’re taking care of yourself, and it’s making you happy, a better person, and you feel an abundance amount of peace in your life, why would you care if it offends someone else? There are going to be people in your life that’s not going to understand your self-care/love journey, but that has nothing to do with you! Some people are content with seeing you down and out, and can’t fathom a new and improve you.

But guess what? That’s okay…

These types of people will always try to discredit you, and the places you’re headed. Their thoughts, and negative opinions about your self-care journey has nothing to do with you, but it says lot about them, and one day they’ll have to face it for themselves. But until then, continue to move forward in love.
Self-care is imperative, and essential to our everyday life.

You might be the type of person that’s always looking out for others, and tend to neglect yourself. Or you think self-care is spending money, you sometimes don’t have. But self-care is a lot of things, and it doesn’t always have to involve money. This could be taking a bubble bath, reading a book/blog, catching up on your favorite tv shows, trying out a new recipe you seen on Pinterest, writing etc. Don’t get me wrong, self-care looks different for everyone, and that’s okay.

Quick side note…

Sometimes we put too much on our plate when it comes to self-care; just focus on the things that works for you.

Things I want you all to know…

Self-care is doing the things that makes you feel good on the inside and out. It’s the simple things that brings you joy, and happiness. It’s the things that makes you feel whole, refreshed, cared for, loved, and recharged. Self-care is about being intentional, and mindful. Self-care is committing to growing, and loving on yourself everyday. It’s being gentle, and compassionate about the things you enjoy.

2017 has been a year filled with an abundance amount of peace, healing and self-forgiveness. There has been so many highs, lows, lessons and sacrifices.

This year I had to learn the importance of letting go of the need to be perfect….

Knowing that the need to be perfect has hindered me in so many ways. & when I say that, I mean I was only holding myself back because my fear of failing or making mistakes.

I had to make that decision that everything wasn’t going to always be sunshine and roses. You’re going to make mistakes, a lot of them and that’s OKAY! You don’t have to know everything, or even have everything figured out step by step.

You also don’t have to rush anything that God wants you to have, period! When you don’t understand the importance of being patient w/ God and trusting the process to get to where he wants you to be, it’s going to seem like nothing is working out in your favor because you want it right then and there! & often times, the things we pray for daily, be things we don’t know how to handle once we get them.

In 2017….

I also ended up falling back into a deep depression. I was working for a company who didn’t value, support, or appreciate me. I felt as though I was losing myself and my passion/purpose for the type of work God placed into my heart.

Everyday I would wake up, and immediately feel terrible on the inside because I knew I had to walk into a place I knew I shouldn’t be. Instead of making the best out of the situation, I allowed this employer to take MY power away.

I had to realize that if you wake up every morning and believe you’re going to have a terrible day, guess what? You’re going to have a terrible day! I didn’t want to see the good in the situation because my focus was getting completely out of it, instead of using that time to reflect on what this situation taught me about myself.

Sooooo…

Instead of thinking about the negative things you’re experiencing at that job, write down a list of lessons and things you’re grateful for, from that employer.

Let’s start reclaiming our time and power from people and things we give complete control to. Let’s continue to find lessons and share our stories with one another, that’s going through something similar. Let’s continue to think positive, but also not neglect the negative things that’s transpiring in our lives.

After God gently removed me from that employer…

I spent my two month work-free break, reclaiming my time and doing things I absolutely enjoy. I started to journal more, I started taking better care of ME and the people around me. I started setting clear intentions and boundaries with myself and other people.

There has been a blessing in every lesson this year, from leaving a job in the beginning of the year that I loved, to a job from hell, to a new job that has so many opportunities and advances. I know that there’s so much more for me, and God is going to make sure that I not only see those blessings but feel them as well.

As I wrap up this post…

2017 has taught me to be more gentle, compassionate, kinder, loving and trusting my strengths.

When I decided to fully commit to myself, so many things began to change in my life, doors began to open, and saying “no” to things, people and places I didn’t want to be became easier.

I’m always reminded of how change is imperative and essential to our well-being. Without change, there’s no room for growth. Without change, life can become still, limited, unfulfilled, and stale.

I personally don’t wait until the New Year to make life changes, but for some; that’s a new start and beginning for them. I think it’s important that change should be something we do throughout the year, preferably every 3-6 months.

Buttttt….

There’s just something about the year 2018; it falls on a Monday, which is the beginning of a new day and week. I don’t know why I’m super excited about that, but I am.

I feel as though 2018 is going to be the year of expansion and abundance. I have been setting the tone, doing the work, and being more consistent. I also wrote a list of things I need more and less of. I feel like this list came right on time, and it’s been holding me accountable for my actions and just being more aware of the things I need to focus more on.

Also…

I’ve been realizing that you need to give yourself something to look forward to. If you want to have an amazing + purposeful year, understand that you can indeed have that, period! You have to believe you’re worthy and deserving of greater things.

I know when you’re so used to things not coming through, or when you have an ounce of hope, then it’s quickly snatched away. Yes, that can be very frustrating and discouraging at time, but you have to also believe that everything does happen for a reason, and there’s a lesson behind everything.

Embracing my truth has been something that has required a great deal of internal work and self- love and forgiveness. Often times people don’t understand the importantance of actually doing the work, because it’s imperative to your growth.

I mean…

Doing the work sounds super cliche, but it’s so super important.

I started this new journey a few years ago, and what I have learned throughout these years is that even in the mist of uncertainty, express gratitude in all things.

I’ve also learned that…

What’s for you will always be for you, rather you see it or not. & that great shit takes time, so stop rushing or forcing things to happen and allow them blessings to naturally flow.

I’ve taught myself over the years how to be more vulnerable, transparent, gentle, and compassionate within myself. I think what makes this journey amazing is the fact that I’m able to embrace all of these different emotions, without running away from shit that makes me uncomfortable.

Today I am celebrating the woman I am becoming, while releasing the woman I thought I was. I am more focused on being more intentional, gentle and compassionate within myself.

Today I am no longer submitting to self-sabotage thoughts, but simply using all of those lessons as tools and resources to help and inspire other women to be comfortable within themselves.

There’s been so many shifts + blessings that’s been pouring repeatedly into my life these past few months, and im overwhelmed with joy. I feel as though God has been listening, and seeing all of the hard work I’ve been putting in when it comes to my mental wellbeing, school, and brand.

If you’ve been following my blog + podcast, you would know that I talked about leaving a really toxic work environment and not settling for second best. During that time; I was in a really dark space, and being able to get out of that toxic environment made me appreciate all of the hard work I’ve been putting in, instead of dwelling on this one bad experience.

Great news…

I’ve had multiple job offers within the last two months, and a few weeks ago, I accepted a job offer that I’m extremely excited about. I was a little skeptical at first because it’s definitely something different, but I love the fact that’s it’s more challenging + and there’s room for growth in the company.

It just feel so good to finally be back in my creative space, and doing the things I enjoy doing. During this break I’ve been reclaiming my time, and putting all of my energy into finishing this semester off strong, collabing with other bloggers, working on creating more safe-spaces for women, and also planning an event that I plan on hosting at the end of the year.

Quick reflection…

When I look back and reflect on everything that’s been transpiring this year, I immediately thank God for closing doors that were meant to be shut a long time ago. There are days where I feel my absolute best, and then there are days where I don’t even want to get out of bed. But regardless of whatever I feel like I’m facing, I know that I’m not facing it alone and I’m blessed.

What I’ve learned during this break…

I’ve learned that you have to find the things that brings you the most joy in life, and journey there. Be proud of your failures, mistakes, misfortunes, and most importantly the person you couldn’t be at that very moment. Instead of picking at old wounds, find new and healthy ways to love on yourself.

Here’s a journal prompt:

Have you ever had to let go of something that was not good for you, even if it was painful or disorienting at the time? Was it a blessing? What lesson did you learn?

Are you tired of listening to the negative, nagging, and nasty voices you put inside of your head? Are you tired of beating yourself up? Are you tired of pushing yourself too hard? Are you tired of pushing yourself away? Are you tired of feeling down, when you only want to feel up?

For years; I’ve allowed self-sabotage + fear to creep up inside of me, and control my mind, heart, and spirit. I’ve let negative self-talk control my worth, and cause me to miss out on so many great experiences + opportunities because I wasn’t confident within myself. I’ve also allowed the feeling of not being good “enough” bring me into a really dark + depressing space.

People see a beautiful woman, and swears she doesn’t have a worry in the world. Which in fact, it’s not always about what’s on the outside, but how you treat yourself on the inside. I’ve spent a great deal of years beating myself up, down talking my gifts, and being ashamed of my truths. It didn’t matter what anyone told me, I didn’t feel + see all of those great things within myself.

I’ve caused myself a great deal of self-inflicted pain, and it wasn’t until 2 years ago, I had to genuinely forgive myself. Forgive myself for feeling worthless, undeserving, and most importantly for not loving myself, unconditionally.

There’s not a book, class, therapist, life coach, webinar, or event that’s going to make you, choose you! You have to be ready + willing to choose you, and do the work that’s going to get you to where you need to be mentally, emotionally, spiritually , and etc.

We don’t understand that the negative things + habits we feed ourselves will leave us depleted, instead of nourished. I’ve realized that the negative things we feed our minds are exactly how we take care of ourselves, and it’s not healthy.

Here are a few negative thoughts:

I have no one in my life who genuinely love + care about me.

I feel worthless, and undeserving.

I’m not beautiful.

Everything is going wrong in my life.

I feel like giving up on everything.

Here are a few positive thoughts:

I am deserving of self-love + compassion.

I accept + love myself, unconditionally.

I am beautiful on the inside and out.

I am grateful for everyone that’s in my life.

Even though my life isn’t perfect, but I have enough right now.

I just want to encourage you all to continue to shower your minds daily with fruitful, and positive things! Everyday isn’t going to be a good day, but you can always turn that bad day into a good evening.

What I’m learning today…

I’m learning that it’s okay to be uncertain + not having everything all figured out. I’m also learning that you have to show up for yourself, and never rely on other people to do the work for you! If you want to be a better, happier, and joyful person you have to understand that all of these great things comes from within…

Self-compassion + love isn’t going to be easy, it requires a lot of self-discipline + control. There’s going to be the not so “beautiful” parts, but this is all apart of the process, and your end results are going to be breath taking.

Anywho…

This has been one incredible + transformative experience in my life. & I’m so grateful that I’m able to share my struggles + truths with you all, because a few years ago I wouldn’t imagine being as transparent as I am today.

Here’s a quick journal prompt:

What choices are you going to make this month, that’s going to allow you to be more gentle + compassionate with yourself? How can you love, support, and show up for yourself more this month?

I’m in love with myself, and my life. I’ve become more intentional when it comes to expressing gratitude over everything + everyone in my life, and it’s starting to become apart of my everyday routine.

I’ve become more appreciative of the little things in life like praying, making coffee, eating breakfast, dropping my daughter off at school, writing a new blog post, checking my emails, and watching the butterflies land on the pretty flowers that’s in front of my apartment complex.

My days are even becoming brighter, and the past is only a reflection in my rear view mirror. I have forgiving + embraced all of the things I couldn’t be, or change. There’s still days where I sit, and reflect on my growth and how far I’ve came, but dwelling on the bad shit? Nah

It just feels amazing to be in such a space that required so much self-love and forgiveness. I feel free, and whole, again. Words and things can’t express how fulfilled I feel, and it’s because of God’s faithfulness. I plan on staying in this healthy state of mind, and when negative self-talk approaches, I’ll remind myself of how worthy + deserving I am.

Sprinkle of motivation:

I just want to encourage you all to continue to be intentional with the things you want to do, and remember to stay focused even when you’re faced with unfortunate difficulties.

I know life can become overwhelming, especially when you’re in a really dark space, but I want you to know that bad days don’t last forever!

Also…

We all have choices, and today I want you to make that conscious decision to choose peace and joy! ❤