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Sunday, October 21, 2012

In this very moment

In this very moment, I am laying in bed trying to rest, feeling a little listless. I need to write to sort out my feelings and regain a feeling of serenity. I am at that point in the pregnancy when people ask me one of two questions: "Oh, you're still here?!" or "That baby is coming very soon, isn't he?" I laugh every time! Is it because I'm so huge or because I'm positively glowing with happiness? Only tomorrow will mark 37 weeks when the baby can officially come without being premature, although he can also wait until his official French due date on November 20th! Still a full month away!

I'm so anxious to experience childbirth one more time, one last time. I'm so excited to finally meet my little boy. The emotions are as intense as they are beautiful and are equal only to the intensity of my fatigue! And yet I know that now it will all be but a small moment before he makes his entry into the world. In all my impatience, I feel patient, knowing that those magical moments will soon be ours. Maybe part of me is clinging to this beautiful pregnancy, longing to linger a little longer on this incredible journey that has been mine one last time - an intimate and precious gift from a loving and wise Heavenly Father.

My perfect husband put the perfect finishing touch on the baby nook this weekend. (And I'll finally reveal it to you this coming week!) Lacking an extra bedroom, we have really had to do a lot of moving around and readjusting and getting rid of stuff to make room for this baby. Financially, things have not been easy and still won't be for a while, but in inviting this little one into our home, we followed our hearts and took one of those tremendous leaps of faith that leave you falling in the dark for a while. That's where we're at in this very moment....

It's kind of scary and stressful at times, but in the deepest corner of my heart resides a firm conviction that our Father in Heaven will catch us from that scary jump into the darkness and that everything will be okay. Even better than okay. Beautiful blessings lie ahead.... I feel faith and I press forward with that faith. And it's that faith that fills me with patience for the potentially long month that lies ahead....

What are some of the scary leaps of faith that you've taken in your life? How did you find strength during those moments?