Cuddle Parties And Your Relationship

Advice on the Damage Cuddle Parties Can Do to Your Relationship

Advice Seeker :

Dear April Masini,"

I have a friend that engages in threesomes, swinging, and now—cuddle parties, with her husband. She says that they have great communication, and that it keeps their relationship fresh and exciting. What are cuddle parties? And do you think that engaging in these types of sexual behavior is damaging to couples, or good for them? My boyfriend and I want to spice up our sex life...what do you think?

Signed,
Questioning Cuddling Parties

"

April Masini's Advice :

Dear Questioning Cuddling Parties,

Yes, cuddle parties can be very damaging to young couples that are under the impression that these adult get-togethers, where pajamas are the dress code, are benign, fun-filled evenings with a collective love-vibe. The truth is that these parties do the most damage because they are misleading. They appear to be harmless because the PJs are flannel and not flimsy negligees, but the truth is that group cuddle parties encourage group physical affection among adults that will lead to sexual feelings. These parties give couples permission to engage in physical affection with people they do not know, do not know well, or do know well and are not coupled or married to. This is a small step away from promiscuous sex -- but again, it is dangerous to healthful relationships because it is masquerading as something cute, sweet and non-sexual.

The reason that people do not cuddle with strangers is that it is not safe, and it is not customary in our culture because cuddling can lead to sexual feelings and sex. Cuddling and sex is important in intimate relationships or relationships where casual sex is acknowledged as the goal, by both parties.

Break-Ups Usually Follow Group Sex Among Couples

Group sex is the antithesis of intimacy, and is rarely helpful to couples that want to stay together.

Most vulnerable are 20-something and 30-something couples that do not have the perspective or the maturity to do the right thing for their relationship. Peer pressure may influence a couple, or one relenting member of the couple, to go along with the activity.

Break ups are often the activity that follows couples on the heels of their participation in these trendy but poisonous parties.

Who, What and Why of Cuddle Parties

Sexuality is a natural part of any human being and any adult human relationship, but when people are not comfortable with their sexuality, they resort to aberrant trends like cuddling parties, where sexuality is masked by infantile behavior. When adults are invited to parties where pajamas are encouraged as decorum, one would think Hugh Hefner and his bunnies would be the hosts. But when the pajamas required are flannel, and the party activity is group cuddling, there is a strong sensation of infantilizing adult needs for affection by relegating them to cuddling with strangers. Whether or not you agree with Mr. Hefner, his parties and themes are always adult.