The Rules of the Game [HE SAID/SHE SAID]

Dating, like Monopoly or Chutes and Ladders, is often a confusing game that can very easily get complicated and lead to you throwing away a stack of money while cursing uncontrollably if you don’t set some clearly defined rules or guidelines. In this week’s He Said/She Said, I’m laying out seven easy steps when it comes to dating that dime piece who’s number you pulled at the Cinco De Mayo party. [lead image via Mat Hayward / Shutterstock]

1) After you meet a girl, wait a bit to reach out to her. So you pull the hot girl’s number at a bar, congrats! Do you actually like her? If so, don’t hit her up right away. Give her time to simmer for a day or two before you ask her out, and the anticipation should be building on your end. The advice from 40 Year Old Virgin comes to mind.

2) Don’t seem desperate. You’ve waited a few days to get a hold of her, and now you’re grabbing dinner/drinks/a movie/etc. tomorrow night. While making plans, don’t respond immediately to her texts. Give her a moment to stew. B*tches love moments to stew. Texting back immediately could actually be a taken as you being desperate, even if you aren’t and lets face it: desperate is not a good look on anyone. Let it breathe, man.

3) If she gives it up on the first date, probably not girlfriend material. If a girl is going to blast you out on night one, you can be fairly sure that this isn’t the first time she’s done that. Sorry, you’re not that amazing. As for me, first-date-bangs get moved into a certain category: f*ckable. That’s it.. Once she’s given me the goods, it’s a lot harder to go back because all I can think about when she’s talking about her midterms or whatever is her naked. Something left to the imagination, at least at the beginning stages, is better than everything left on the bedroom floor.

4) If you actually like her, be a man: call, don’t text. I think texting is something that is taking out all the realism in interpersonal communication, and often can be misinterpreted. You know they best way to make sure your witty banter or sarcasm is being taken the right way? Call and let her actually hear it from you instead of just reading it on her iPhone. Also, it will set you apart from other guys who can’t be botherd to take 5 minutes out of their day to see how she’s doing. [Ed note: For bonus points, the first time you ask her out, do it by phone]

5) Get on the same page as to “what” you are. Nothing is worse than being in a budding relationship and being really into someone only to find out that they aren’t ready to step on the gas so quickly. The best way to avoid this embarrassment is to address it directly after a little while of hanging out. Figure out if you’re both on the same page when it comes to being exclusive, if you’re dating but aren’t using the titles of “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, or if you’re just fucking. Trust me: being on different pages normally ends in someone getting hurt, or at least in someone getting dumped at halftime of the 2011 Super Bowl. Just saying…

6) Chivalry might be dead, but being a gentleman isn’t. Simple actions go a very long way in a society that seemingly teaches the notion of treating a woman terribly keeps her around. Hold the door, pick up the check (at least offer), open the cab for her, actually pay attention to what she’s saying and don’t text people while out on a date, etc. None of these little things will take much effort at all, but really do go a long way in how a woman will look at your relationship. There’s nothing wrong with being the nice guy.

7) If you’re dating, don’t cheat. No matter what. There’s not really a more disrespectful act than going behind the back of the person you’re seeing and having sex with another woman. Even if things have really started to slip and you’re unhappy with the situation you’re in, you’ve gotta continue to think with the big head and not the little one you keep hidden in public. It’s always better to end things with your current squeeze than it is to drag her through the mud of getting cheated on. Be a man about it.