Wednesday, August 6, 2008

If It Was A Horse We'd Shoot It

So I'm leaving work the other night. I get out of the parking lot and notice the fuel gauge is on empty. It seemed kind of odd since I was pretty sure we'd filled up just that day. I pulled into a gas station just to make sure I didn't run out of gas on the way home. It was full after about three dollars went in. I took that as a bad sign since gas is not selling for a nickel a litre. "Kids, I remember when you could get gas for 65 cents a litre. Way back in the good ole days of 2003." So I got back in the car and it still read empty. In addition to the "you're almost out of gas you idiot" light, the service light and anti-theft light were on. "Super, I need this like I need a kick in the balls."

We made it through the rest of the holiday weekend without any trouble, other than those warning lights. They go well with the check engine light and ABS light that have been on forever. We haven't worried about those since they told us they weren't major issues. Personally, I kind of want to see how many lights we can have on before the car will just stop working altogether. I imagine that last light will be an exasperated little mechanic throwing his tools down in disgust. My wife figured it better to take the car in to get looked at though. So first thing Tuesday morning she took it in. After finding out it was an electrical problem with the gauges that would cost $500 or $600 to fix, she started looking at used minivans. I tended to agree with that decision. I think we'd have been better served using that money to buy a gun and just shoot the stupid car. Of course, that's complicated by the laws regarding firearms. "What do you mean waiting period? I'm mad now." (I try to follow the teachings of Homer Simpson wherever possible.)

So after a little looking she found a descent 2004 model. It had air conditioning which is something we've always wanted. Anyone see where we may have gone wrong by buying a black car without air conditioning? The extra heat does tend to make the kids sleepy though which is a plus. Anyways, she took it for a test drive back to our house so we could all check it out. The kids loved it. Ever since the first time they got to ride in a minivan and realized they could see out the windows they've been lobbying for us to get one. The big one's been lobbying, the other one just sort of makes a lot of noise in the background to punctuate her sister's points. So after taking the van back to the dealership we got to wait to hear if the financing would be approved. That meant all afternoon I got to hear "Did they say we could get it? Can we get the van? Can we, can we, can we?"

Got to the point I just had to say "Erin, they'll call when they know. Now just be patient; you're worst than the kids."

Eventually, we did get the call and found out we were approved. "Really? Are you sure the bank knew it was for us? Someone must have typed in the wrong name or something. All I know is I'm taking my money out of that bank because they obviously have no idea what they're doing." It was no mistake though so now we're waiting to pick it up this afternoon. Once we get it there will be no turning back. I think it will officially make us parents as opposed to just a couple fools too dumb to operate birth control effectively. I guess considering how easily we seem to get pregnant it's a good thing it seats eight. I just hope my wife doesn't hurt herself rolling her eyes when she reads that.