What a recent honour it was to be featured as the COVER STORY for this resource- and content-rich magazine published by The Business Link Niagara Ltd.

This two-fold feature allows me to profile my ground-breaking new book, Coping with Un-cope-able Parents: LOVING ACTION for Eldercare, along with the 10-year anniversary of my company, Spirit Unlimited.

In the article, I refer to my painful but poignant story of seeing my 89-year-old mother through her transition in 2010 followed by my father’s in 2012, also at age 89.

Especially in the latter case, there were many days I felt I would not prevail; it was an intensely-gruelling marathon. Hence, why I have such deep empathy for those trapped in the Sandwich Generation contending with often-impossible elderly parents. We’re not talking cooperative folks here! Between battling woefully-inadequate societal systems and striving to keep daily life afloat, it’s enough to do a person in.

It’s why along with my business cornerstones of coaching, facilitation, speaking and authorship – I have added Caregiver Activist to my list of meaningful contributions.

Lucky I plan to live another 57 years beyond my almost-55! There is so much yet to do!

My encouragement to everyone is that we come to Earth with a unique set of talents and gifts. We owe it to the planet to unleash them.

I very much look forward to continuing to coach those who stand at crossroads seeking “something more” to uncover and live their dreams. As well, stay tuned for what will become my sequel-book, Coping with Un-cope-able Systems: ADVOCACY for Eldercare.

In the meantime, allow me to thank all those involved in making this article one I am especially proud of.

It’s nothing short of incredible that MAY saw me celebrate10 years of entrepreneurship. It truly feels like just yesterday that I stepped into the first day of “Freedom 45”.

I yet remember my final day (ever!) of corporate employment on April 30, 2003. It had been a long time coming… My job was killing me and my spirit virtually broken.

Many in similar shoes would believe (also known as convince themselves) they have no other option but to “suck it up” – a phrase I abhor. For, the “stiff upper lip” school of thought garners us only a few things. It reinforces drudgery, escalates stress and turns us into slavish victims of circumstance.

No thanks!

I continue to toast this significant accomplishment.

Because, it’s not like I had some padded bank account or established client roster to fall back upon. Are you kidding?

Like many used to the “magic” hole in the wall every two weeks (otherwise called an ATM), I had not been saving for decades. Opposite to all conventional advice (a truth of which I am very proud to this day) – and apart from a short period scaling back my compensation to free up time for my business while employed – I essentially departed my cubicle “cold turkey”.

Such a bold move is not for everyone, I’m aware. A lot of folks would describe me as downright foolhardy. So be it.

All I know is, I got the sequence right. Leap and THEN the net will appear. Not the other way around. The latter is a false belief system which guarantees people stay stuck in stale comfort zones and never take a risk.

Not for me!

In case anyone wonders if life has been all rosy since, forget it! Let me dispel that illusion right now.

Just because one follows a dream, doesn’t make the path clear sailing by definition.

As it turns out, the rest of 2003 into the spring of 2004 turned into one of my most transitional life phases ever. Many personal challenges at home and in my business characterized that period. It would have honestly been easy to rationalize throwing in the towel on more than one occasion. What was I thinking, the self-talk would go.

Yet, I stayed the course. Toughed it out through thick and thin.

Yes, there is a distinct part of my courageous temperament that cannot even entertain not being ultimately supported for pursuing my real purpose, which is to transform humanity one person at a time. It’s when human beings sell out on themselves that the Universe fails to reward.

What a sad fate that would be.

Instead, I keep on keeping on…

Given my intention to live until at least 112 (giving me 57 further years at the minimum to offer my meaningful contributions), I frankly see no other “choice”.

When an individual is privileged to know their reason-for-being, one owes it to all who surround to fulfill on that promise.

I therefore elect to focus upon the next thresholds that await. With great and powerful anticipation!

Still, it is my firm conviction that the best is to come! Bring it on!

There is so much awe and enchantment to experience in this vast world of ours.

As Tom Rath so aptly states in Strengthsfinder 2.o: “Far too many people spend a lifetime headed in the wrong direction. They go not only from the cradle to the cubicle, but then to the casket, without uncovering their greatest talents and potential.”

Please let us make a pact – here and now – that neither you nor I will be one of them.

Definition

1) To move quickly and vigorously; 2) To erase or change (an item in a program); 3) A strong emotional reaction.

Tips

Apply just one empowering people policy. The only people policy an organization needs is: use your own best judgment; do what is right for the customer and company. Do not use policies as “scar tissue on an error” – punishing all
employees forever after in the wake of one individual who made a mistake. Designing the perfect Rule Book is no guarantee that errors will not be made again.

Remove bureaucracy. When otherwise productive and innovative people become buried under top-heavy bureaucracies and unreasonable regulations, we squeeze the life blood out of the exact qualities organizations need for long-term survival. Layers of rules cause soured attitudes, dried-up motivation, resignation on-the-job, anger and worse.

Stay away from the “inertia of cultural resistance”. In under-performing workplaces, people have long ago given up trying to offer their employers any inventiveness or creative spark. “What’s the point?” they question. “We’ll only get shot down anyway.” Imagine what is possible if we give people instead the freedom to perform in ways that energize and engage their very best skills and talents.

Apply deliberate action to create soul-inspiring environments. Soul-inspiring environments do not happen by accident, but through a set of dedicated actions designed to build an extraordinary workplace. If one truly seeks to build ingenuity and resourcefulness, then efforts need to be focused on creating cultures that eliminate inane restrictions. Give people the latitude required for superior performance.

Distinguish between accountability and responsibility. Leaders cannot suddenly wave a wand and declare: “You are now accountable.” Such abdication of responsibility is as dangerous as over-control. Both are flip sides of the same coin. Encourage team members to take on greater responsibility through gradual delegation, training and coaching. Without authority, people will shun accountability.

Install people-centric daily practices. Organizational systems (both informal and formal systems like planning, structuring, recruiting, selecting, hiring, training, rewarding, communicating, decision-making) must be aligned to support vision/values. Inconsistencies between high-performance objectives and corporate rules of the game are huge inhibitors to transformation.

Define how you want to treat people. Create from a blank slate a set of Philosophy Statements delineating how you want to treat people and have them feel about their workplace. Spend your time “reinforcing” these. These statements would reflect such important messages as: respecting everyone regardless of title, welcoming all ideas and how to communicate positively.

Monitor strictly your own words and actions. Leaders’ own words and actions are the make-it or break it ingredient in our zapping mix. Empowering leaders see themselves more as coaches and champions than controllers and decision-makers. They believe in self-directed teams and pave the way by providing guidance and clearing roadblocks. They expect and get the best from others.

Empower in the truest sense of the word. Empowerment is not something you do to people, though it is often defined and executed as such. Empowerment is nurtured by creating an environment where every employee is supported to do what it takes to satisfy customers – thus illustrating the powerful connection between satisfied employees, contented customers and the bottom-line.

Questions For Reflection

How would you describe your expectations of those you lead and how might that be influencing their performance?

To what extent do you let your team decide on its own approach to assignments?

How do you get in the way of your team? What can you do about this right now?

Sandwich Generation Caregivers Express Relief

“With increasing numbers of individuals reaching advanced ages, the parent-child relationship takes on a new length and depth never before anticipated. Enter Carol-Ann Hamilton, whose timely offering helps those feeling caught in the middle striving to do their best in supporting aging relatives through the eldercare health crisis. Carol-Ann is a compassionate and caring friend who offers hope and support combined with her indelible sense of humor. Those overwhelmed by these issues and circumstances will find guidance and solace in this book.” (Suzanne L. Cook, Ph.D. – Gerontologist, Educator, Consultant & Public Speaker)

“Carol-Ann has done a great service by sharing her wisdom and experience. I know that countless caregivers are walking this extremely challenging path and will find great comfort plus relief in hearing the perspectives of a fellow- traveler who is both realistic and inspiring. If you know someone who is committed to providing excellent loving care to a less-than-easy parent, make sure you give them this book. They will be very grateful!” (Amy D’Aprix, MSW, Ph.D., CPSCA – President, Essential Conversations Inc.)

“After 20-plus years living with senior care issues – and as a board member of a long-term care facility – one principle has become very clear. Many feel overwhelmed by difficult times coping with aging parents. We don’t know what to do. We need people to talk to. Carol-Ann has captured great insight here – and gives us hope in providing our loved ones the care they need. A must read for the sandwich generation!” (Ted Madden – Franchise Partner, Nurse Next Door Home Care Services)

Definition

Tips

Notice how many people view their work. Have you ever wondered why most heart attacks occur at nine o’clock on Monday morning? If we were honest, is this not how many people view their work world – never-ending slavery that only ceases once we are liberated through retirement (or a good outplacement package)? It is the distress of work as a soul-deadening experience.

Recognize the soul’s longings. The soul yearns for something more. This longing to make a difference is fundamental to our core need as humans. It is part of our eternal search for meaning and why it is so heart-breaking when people feel their work gives them nothing to strive for – evidenced also by the numbers who ‘coincidentally’ call in sick on Monday and Friday mornings.

Answer the soul’s cries through a lofty vision and uncompromising values. If you protest that employers do not owe people a sense of meaning we have some ‘bad’ news for you. If that is your philosophy, then you must also accept that your organization is operating at a fraction of its potential due to your failure to engage what is most important to employees. There is a measurable and real cost to suboptimal performance.

Cease the burnout. Never become the type of employer who is overflowing in your praise for people all the while that they sacrifice their personal lives to rescue you time and again, only to turn your back on those same super-performers the minute they are so burned out that they refuse to save your hide anymore. People are not to be treated as slaves!

Acknowledge the costs of resignation on-the-job. When people resign on the job, others must inevitably pick up the slack and so too become demoralized themselves. The ‘hard’ costs of this situation are in the form of decreased production while a full salary is being earned and increased rework as lack of caring so frequently results in expensive mistakes that take extra effort by others to fix.

Take ownership for your part in creating apathy. It is such an unfortunate tragedy when employers will not take responsibility for their role in creating an environment where people have left, if not physically, then emotionally, mentally and spiritually. If employers are willing to admit culpability, there is hope – hope to also restore lackluster marketplace results that go hand in hand with internal issues.

Stop deluding yourself about motivating through return-on-investment. Monopoly-sized market percentages and jumps in customer satisfaction ratings do not resonate with people’s souls. Rallying under crisis does not spark passionate commitment from employees to achieve the impossible. Typical business accomplishments as measured by profit-based goals do not satisfy soulful yearning.

Avoid believing a solution is to pay more. Humans were not created singularly for the pursuit of material success, although earning an acceptable living is fundamental to feeling successful. But money should not replace leaders’ desire
to help employees lead meaningful lives. You cannot buy your way to meaning, or choose to pay more and then expect to extract people’s last drop of blood.

Adapt to changing demands of what is meaningful. “Generation X” has watched as both their parents spent years toiling in organizations only to be cast out in re-engineering blitzes later in life. Now they are righting what they see as lack of balance between working and living. They see work as a means to an end and are prepared to end it if it does not offer the means! A dramatic shift in collective values.

Create a different definition of meaning at work. Soul-inspiring leaders know millions are pleading through a universal cry for meaning, purpose and character in organizational life. They see to it that time spent at work makes a difference rather than being mindless. They answer people’s yearning to meet their deepest human needs through settings that create a sense of fulfillment and contribution.

Questions For Reflection

How would you answer the question: “My life is meaningful because…”?

List the accomplishments in your life to date of which you are most proud, noting how many involve work. Are there too few or too many in this category, and what does this mean to you?

If you learned you had three months to live, in what ways would you reorganize your life? If you would make changes, what is stopping you from living with this sense of meaning now, with your ‘whole’ life ahead of you?

Today, you would have turned 90 had you not passed away a mere six weeks’ short of your strongly-intended goal to see the celebration of this milestone.

I hope you are not too disappointed that God decided to take you in advance. Indeed, you will forever be recognized as having attained your 90th year. Born October 7, 1922. “Died” on August 26, 2012.

I, for one, am intensely relieved over the Lord’s mercy in releasing you from your hospital misery sooner than later. We both know your final five weeks on Earth were anathema to your personality. Enduring the constancy of poking and prodding by oft- unconscious and sometimes officious bureaucrats (but for one very special physician who was an Angel in disguise) was absolutely NOT representative of how you had independently and adamantly lived until that fateful but necessary call I placed to Emergency Medical Services on July 23rd.

I remain sorrowful that you were not able to transition more quietly in your cherished home lovingly built almost 50 years’ ago in 1963. That was your ultimate wish. You almost made it, though. I pray you are granted eternal tranquility in that regard.

For my part, I unequivocally gained peace from knowing we saw one another through to the “end”. Yes, after Mommy passed away on April 17, 2010 we performed nothing short of yeoman’s service – individually plus together.

Valuing our father-daughter relationship as we did, we supported one another in ways we were each able. You helped me and I helped you. We gardened and grocery-shopped. I cleaned and cooked you precisely 18 hard-boiled eggs on each visit. You provided tangible paternal assistance that safe-guarded your only child from more than one jam.

Above and beyond rewarding conversations across the past decade or so, we shared particularly meaningful exchanges during your final 27 months. Thank goodness I had the foresight to save some of your phone messages; I re-listen to them every two weeks and find a measure of comfort in yet hearing your voice. What a blessing to still have you here in this way.

On Father’s Day, I seized the opportunity to publicly share my “Top 10 Gratitudes” based on 54 years of being your “pride and joy” daughter. They were posted on Braiden Rex-Johnson’s website, where he generously offers people a forum to express to loved ones what they would have wanted to, had they five more minutes to do so. Luckily, I did this while you were alive (and on more than one occasion). Here goes my personal list – meant to inspire others:

I am so glad to profoundly internalize that you and Mommy fully wanted me. I’m well aware many unfortunate children cannot say they were cherished by their parents as I was. It is clear you both loved me right from birth.

Despite the fact that funds were tight for a number of years, you demonstrated a sense of honour second-to-none in always trying to make things nice for me growing up. You provided. This is again something not all fathers can claim; many shirk their responsibility. Not you!

I fondly recall the many special events and projects you each created. Putting out your back building my sandbox is forever etched in my consciousness. Mommy’s creativity as evidenced by puppet show is also memorable. Remember how often we played Frisbees, shot basketballs into the hoop and played baseball catch?

Besides which, celebrations like birthdays and Christmas were amongst our happiest times as a family. It is healing to think the house in which I spent my formative years is imbued with those qualities and not just the more challenging aspects that characterized our triangular unit.

The trips we took – big and small – were quite amazing in retrospect. I recently pulled my photo albums off my child’s bedroom shelves and relished the pictures particularly from eastern Canada and the southern United States.

Something I REALLY respect was standing at the side of your hospital bed as you wrested yourself back from death’s doorstep in 1984 – 28 years ago. My goodness. The strength and determination that took! You have my un-ending admiration for your sheer grit.

I will never be able to thank you enough for the turning-point dialogue we shared about how difficult were my growing-up years. You took ownership like a man for the damaging impact that anguished time generated upon me. I have long ago realized many of the factors that led up to that despaired period for you and Mommy. I assure you, I am complete with it as you go to your grave.

Although the extremely-long period leading up to Mommy’s passing was gruelling on you especially, I hope the ways in which I have since “been there” for you have provided closure on any sense of resentment you bore toward going it alone (in your mind) during that decade.

Then, we come to the countless conversations in which you have amply demonstrated you “get it”. You have imparted your lessons well. Your stewardship of integrity, principle (not principal!), courage and excellence shall reside permanently
within until my own 112-milestone. In other words, you have done your job well in bringing me up right!

Last but not least, I have so often felt SEEN and HEARD by you as the person I Really Am that I have frankly lost track. To recognize someone in their Essence is quite possibly one of the greatest gifts you can accord.

The Sunday on which I scribe this most soulful letter of all is Thanksgiving. How fitting. Dissimilar from the unabashed festival our American counterparts enjoy in November, Canadians acknowledge the season’s foliage and harvest blessings in a more subdued manner – which reflects precisely how my spirit feels on this day.

We laid you to rest on September 22nd. You were surrounded by a few dedicated cronies and a coterie of my contemporaries. I will never forget who was there – as well as who was not – literally plus figuratively. You know, you can surely tell who your true friends are at times like birth, marriage and death.

My fervent prayer is that we – and I – paid you justice on that Saturday predicted to be miserable but that instead became imbued with sunshine and summery temperatures across the afternoon into evening as you rejoined Mommy. People reported my eulogy “hit it out of the park”. Yeah!!! That was my deepest desire. For all you did and brought with this lifetime, you deserved it.

Nonetheless, I am your daughter through and through! And we obviously both attended The Frank Sinatra School of Thought.

Yes, we sang hymns you cherished. Yes, we held your service at the same chapel we gathered for Mommy’s. Yes, we had benefit of the same moving pastor who supported us on April 24, 2010.

Beyond that, the day was mine to craft as I chose. Do you permit me a smile over the fact that you had no say in how we dedicated your life? Oh yes, you hovered in Ghost-movie-like fashion during the intervening month after you passed. I heard every one of your comments! Yet, I Did It My Way.

Still, I believe it was a very appropriate tribute.

While assembling the myriad mementos that represented your 89 years, it never occurred to me that I was constructing a “school room” of sorts. Our intuitive minister commented on this image more than once. A dear friend earlier this week likened my loving efforts to a “museum” temporarily curated. How fascinating! Their analogies make sense.

What I know for sure is it was exceptionally easy to find objects representative of the “chapters” of your life’s “book” – teaching, husband and father, cars, sports, gardening, household projects, collecting, etc.

In those moments I located a word that would characterize your nine-score years on the planet: multi-faceted. Do you like it? I suspect so! You were a man of many interests.

As you would also find resonance with my response to the minister’s intriguing preparatory question: If there were only one quality you associate with your father, what would it be? Once more with speed, I responded. Loyalty and dedication…

At your highest and best, you yearned to make a profound difference with the next generation of society. What could be nobler than leaving a legacy through your chosen profession? Never mind that you “left behind” a daughter who shall carry the torch of your core values until her last breath.

No, I did not reinforce your WWII summer truck-driving days, delivering Lancaster Bomber engine mounts to a local factory. Not to ever denigrate your contributions while the world was at war! Rather, I felt myself FAR more impressed by acts like your singularity in defending the rights of that black Church League baseball player in an era where prejudice and segregation were rife. Your Warrior Woman “girl child” is so thrilled you told me that story before you departed.

I cannot lie. By the time you succumbed to mounting ailments six Sundays ago, I was fatigued to the hilt. My body was exhausted. My spirit was spent. If not for my indomitable toughness (learned at your and Mommy’s hands as well as those of our pioneering ancestors), I could have been crushed by the almost-insurmountable burden. ‘Twas only iron perseverance and uncompromising strength that saw me prevail.

Now that you have crossed over to The Other Side, you have reunited with your beloved Annie (Anneliese, a name whose renaissance I have curiously witnessed of late). For at the minimum 58 more years, you shall be watching over your treasured “baby”. Dumple to you and Poupi to Mommy…

I promise. I will hear, feel and perhaps even see you 24 X 7 – whenever you choose to make your presences known. You will come to me through music. You will arrive in the form of thoughts and feelings. You will lend your other-worldly powers to my own convicted intentions to leave Earth a better place than when I arrived through a transformed humanity – one interaction at a time, as is my life’s purpose.

So now, Daddy, it is time to bid you a warm adieu all over again on the occasion of your 90th Birthday. Many candles accompany you!

Thank you for agreeing to be my father. Yes, I am of the firm belief that we select our parents. I chose well in you, given my path for this lifetime.

May the Angels have guided you back to Home and the dearly-departed whom you miss so.

Definition

Tips

Know that “it’s all about you”. But not in anything remotely resembling a self-centered way. Employees do not exist solely to pay homage to their leaders. They should not have to hang on your every word, responding with “How high?” when you command them to “Jump!” The world does not and should not revolve around you, as if others were extras in your personal movie.

Focus on we. Soul-inspiring leaders are more interested in ‘we’ than ‘I’ – as in generating an environment where we (read: everyone) are cherished for our true selves. They realize that every individual is unique and therefore worthy of being seen as ‘x-traordinary’. They transform ordinary leadership into ‘x-traordinary’ by focusing on others over themselves.

Get real. Soul-inspiring leaders accept full responsibility for the fact that greater authenticity at work starts with them. By modeling sincerity and truthfulness, they encourage others to do the same. They invite everyone to offer their whole
selves to the task at hand, which inevitably translates into greater productivity, creativity and profitability.

Demonstrate openness. While typical managerial advice counsels not to get too close to associates, true leaders recognize openness is a necessary ingredient to being fully trusted. This implies disclosure – not about your darkest secrets – but about who lives within your interior. Leaders take the first step to creating a culture founded on trust and collaboration.

Stop withholding. When leaders withhold as if they were keeping an ace card close to their chests, people can never really ascertain their true motives. Leaving others guessing has the effect of dissipating energy and having them wish they would for once trust enough to share their full ‘deck’. Withholding breeds mistrust – the opposite of ‘x-traordinary’ authenticity.

Distinguish between being positive and unnaturally optimistic. There is a big difference between being grounded while others are losing their heads and a certain rosy-ness that denies chaos. For team members with a personal values around speaking out, such ultra-optimism actually shuts down more authentic communication. It frustrates and demoralizes, if not downright punishes them for speaking up.

Treat vulnerability as a strength. ‘X-traordinary’ leaders are comfortable showing their own imperfections. Through such considered exposure, they show their approachability. They let followers see they are both human and humane.
People must see there is a person behind the leader. If you are not compassionate, employees will hide their realness. Then everyone loses.

Dedicate yourself to a continuous process of revelation. Attaining soul-inspiring leadership entails tuning in to your particular genius, and using those gifts to derive a personal style that works for you. It is a commitment to live with personal honour – an implied active verb tense. Always remember: nobody can be you like you…and that is ‘x-traordinary’!

Questions For Reflection

How would you describe your real self – who you are when no one is looking?

To what degree would you say your associates really know you – right to the extent of them introducing you as their friend?

Definition

1) Riches, abundant possessions, opulence; 2) The state of being rich; 3) An abundance or profusion of.

Tips

Adopt a new view of emerging future wealth. New wealth will not be created from industrial infrastructure, but from knowledge and creativity. Its potential is locked up in the hearts and minds – the very souls – of people. As a result, the focus of any successful business must shift from wealth accumulation (a physical assets model) to wealth creation (a knowledge management model).

Be prepared for a major revision to future economic thinking. Consider the underlying principles of how “dot.com” businesses have created, and will create, whatever wealth the markets ascribe to them. Most have virtually no physical assets. The phrase “our assets walk out the door every night to go home” takes on new meaning in most high-tech businesses today.

Study how wealth now gets created. There need be virtually no substantial investment in physical assets when we talk of Internet businesses. But they cannot get off the ground without considerable “sweat equity” from talented individuals working on a common goal. More and more, it is about “mind power” working anywhere (home) anytime (unusual hours through technology).

Create new business models. Enterprising minds of today are creating completely new business models and ways of interacting with clients never thought of before. Many more future services are yet to evolve that we can only dream about today. This creativity spurt will unleash new sources of wealth based on harnessing creativity and ideas.

Consider the timelines in which wealth is created. It is far easier to take advantage of the promise of an enterprising idea today than it has ever been in the past. This has allowed more and more people to access the means of wealth creation (their minds) and to rapidly create wealth for themselves rather than being dependent on others’ wealth in the form of wages. This trend will accelerate.

Account for the shareholder’s role in wealth creation. The appetite for capital has created a desire in management to please shareholders in the short term – often creating an unduly negative impact on long-term thinking in many publicly traded companies. Intellectual capital will drive the future economy, changing forever the notion of investing by attaching a premium to knowledge-based enterprises.

Accept that people now have more choice. They will decide where and when they work and with whom they partner to share their valuable store of knowledge and creativity. This is the essence of the talent war so often talked about, a true shift in the power balance of the labour market. They will choose to stay or go based on their degree of commitment to employers’ positive environments.

Accept that employees will expect to share the wealth. Workers in future will truly own their means of production and expect to share in wealth they create for others. Granting ownership to all employees, not just founding executives is an early sign of this. More and more, corporations will be forced through economic and competitive trends to become “benevolent” and share the spoils of wealth creation.

Questions For Reflection

How will the trend toward knowledge workers play out in your industry, and how does it impact you already?

How do you see management practices/thinking changing to acknowledge how important people are to the future creation of wealth?

How does your personal wealth impact your thinking about the ‘radical’ ideas this content is presenting?

Definition

1) One’s principles or standards; 2) One’s judgment of what is valuable or important in life; 3) The worth, desirability or utility of a thing.

Tips

Remember the hallmark of valueless workplaces. We all recognize it – the beautifully crafted wall plaque prominently displayed, but nowhere evidenced in people’s daily work lives…the document word-smithed at exorbitant cost by consultants working with senior leaders in spare-no-expense retreat settings. Puzzled, people see in no way how the values resemble what they experience.

Admit that so-called ‘little’ unsavory actions debase people. It is not necessarily large-scale corruption that eats away people’s spirits. Rather, it is the insidious effect of politicking, playing favourites, manipulating, jockeying for position that harm. Like a “dead fish in the middle of the living room”, everyone sees its decaying ugliness and smells its stench, but no one is gutsy enough to declare the truth.

Handle difficult situations with class. How people are ‘exited’ provides a perfect vehicle for practicing alignment between stated values and actual behaviours. The degree of sensitivity and dignity applied to this emotionally-charged event speaks volumes. When people are hurried unceremoniously out the door and employers fail to calm traumatized employees, we really miss the mark.

Watch for pressure to peel away the veneer. Consider how layoffs, downsizing, plant closings and restructuring are handled. Are frontline workers first to have their employment terminated while executives retain their full compensation? Or, do top brass first cut their pay during tough times? It is appalling how often the negative examples go on, while everyone colludes in turning a blind eye.

Be open to what gets dismissed as ‘soft’ values. At this time, the possibility of spiritual values like harmony, humility and gratitude dominating business would seem far away. Evidence the proliferation of war references at work – jungle, battlefield, enemies. While not all values apply in all settings, there is underlying relevance in being selfless, expressing appreciation and basic respect.

Balance results and values. True accomplishment lies in getting results while remaining values congruent. Many organizations tend to overemphasize results while underestimating the importance of adhering to values. This creates a “results at any cost” culture that ultimately depletes long-term performance and diminishes true accomplishment.

Describe exactly what would constitute living according to values. Well-communicated values definitions with behavioural statements describing exactly how people can demonstrate your values significantly help team members. As does regularly ‘refreshing’ the values with employee task forces who provide ongoing communication about progress – the opposite of leadership visioning done in isolation.

Take responsibility for being a “values steward”. Senior leaders must take visible pride in their organizations’ values, making sure their support is visible and consistent. Such leadership commitment to practice what one preaches keeps hope alive. Trust and respect are essential in accepting leaders’ vision; there must be unquestioned alignment between the talk and walk.

Deal with values discrepancies. As long as reserved parking places and other titular perks separate the “haves” from the “have-nots” we cannot honestly think of workplaces as values-centric. From employees’ vantage point, how would you perceive applying time clocks to some individuals but not others? These are vital questions, given groundswell calls for values alignment.

Wake up to the real “new contract”. Increasingly, people are voting with their feet, leaving valueless ‘dinosaurs for workplaces where their souls’ cries are answered through character-based leadership, impeccable morals and complete values alignment. They will choose where they work according to personal integrity. The reality is there are no longer “more where they came from”.

Questions For Reflection

What do you notice about the degree of alignment between your values and those professed by your organization, and do any actions suggest themselves?

To what degree would you be prepared to compromise your values until you had reached a point beyond which it would be personally intolerable?