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Elizabeth Wettlaufer’s terrible secret to which she clung far too long, was what the judge called “a nine-year killing spree.”

“She left a trail of broken lives in her wake. She tarnished her profession. She exposed the weaknesses in care at the long-term care facilities where she worked,” Superior Court Justice Bruce Thomas said Monday, before sentencing the former long-term care nurse to life in prison with no chance of parole for 25 years for killing of eight elderly patients and trying to kill or hurt six others.

And yet, after watching the long line of grieving family members of the people she killed and tried to kill, who told the court of their shattered lives, the 50-year-old’s words at her sentencing hearing didn’t seem to come close to providing comfort.

“Sorry is much too small a word,” she said flatly, under the watchful eye of the families, while she stood in the prisoner’s box.

While she said she’s remorseful for what she’s done, her words in court weren’t what gave her a sliver of hope that someday, maybe, she might have a glimpse of freedom.

Rather, it was her abrupt and unexpected confessions last fall, made after checking herself into mental health care, that spared her multiple parole ineligibilities in a case that shocked and saddened Southwestern Ontario and beyond.

“Without her confessions, I’m convinced this offender never would have been brought to justice,” Thomas said in his 20-minute decision that accepted a joint sentencing position proposed by the Crown and the defence — life with no chance of parole for 25 years for eight counts of first-degree murder, 10 years for the four attempted murders and seven years for two aggravated assaults, all to be served at the same time.

The judge reminded everyone there that Wettlaufer is unlikely to ever be released.

“It must also be remembered that while she is eligible to apply for parole in late 2041, she may, in fact never be paroled considering the number and nature of her crimes. And that, in fact, seems likely.”

It was a day filled with sadness and extraordinary descriptions of the vulnerable people who found themselves in the grips of the murderous nurse who made decisions on who lived or died, depending on her mood and ability to cope with her own problems.

She felt driven by some urge when she was nursing at Caressant Care in Woodstock, Meadow Park in London, and while working for nursing agencies providing home care and support.

“She was overwhelmed, angry and depressed. She saw some of them as troublesome residents, some she simply felt it was their time to die,” Thomas said, adding psychiatrists never found Wettlaufer to be psychotic or unaware of her carnage.

Or, again, in the powerful words of the judge, “she was far from an angel of mercy for terminal patients. Rather she was the shadow of death that passed over them on the night shift where she supervised them.”

The court heard about the lives of her victims before they found themselves changed by illness, dementia and Alzheimers. Andfamilies spoke of their reactions to the terrible circumstances of their deaths — by insulin overdose injections that led to painful, tragic ends.

Wettlaufer’s victims had lived long and productive lives. Many had strong connections to their churches. They had deep, loving relationships with their families.

Children, grandchildren and friends spoke about how they had made profound marks on their lives, whether it was from a strong connection to church, making a meal, serving our country, or even loving a pet.

They spoke about re-grieving the loss of their loved ones once Wettlaufer’s terrible confession was verified.

But the victim impact statement that gave the best understanding of the pain and suffering endured by the dead, came from the only surviving victim of Wettlaufer’s murderous ways.

The statement of Beverly Bertram, who wasn’t in the courtroom but had her words read by the Crown, spoke of how she became ill after a massive dose of insulin given to her at home while she was recovering from leg surgery. She believed she was dying after Wettlaufer tried to kill her.

She hallucinated, couldn‘t speak or scream for help, had an out-of-body experience and “couldn’t understand why no one was helping me.”

Bertram has since isolated herself, never leaving home to attend the church activities that were important to her and is afraid of new people.

And, as for Wettlaufer, “I was worried she would get out and come to finish the job.”

“By the grace of God, I survived, but I will use my life the best I can,” she wrote.

Thomas spoke directly to the families during his decision, telling them he could understood their feelings of betrayal, anger, guilt, distrust, grief and depression.

“It is a complete betrayal of your trust when a caregiver does not prolong life but rather terminates it — but you simply cannot blame yourselves,” Thomas said.

“The value of the lives of your loved ones are not diminished by their age or their condition, nor does the law recognize a sliding scale of penalties for murders of this nature. Your losses are just as unbearable.”

Outside the court, many family members spoke about their losses and their relief not to be facing a long public trial. The family of the “fun and fiesty” Mary Zurawinski, Wettlaufer’s oldest victim at 96, whose family had never made a public statement, said she’d hoped to reach age 100.

As her granddaughter Deborah Rivers spoke, the clouds gathered, thunder clapped and a small bit of hail came down.

“I am truly sorry for the people I injured and murdered. For those who have suffered through the anguish of finding out how their loved ones were treated by me, I am also extremely sorry. Sorry is much too small a word. Your honour, I hope that now the proceedings are over the families will be begin to find some peace and healing. Again, let me say, I’m extremely sorry.”

Former nurse Elizabeth Wettlaufer arrives at the Woodstock Courthouse to hear victim impact statements from the families of her elderly victims on Monday June 16, 2017. MORRIS LAMONT/THE LONDON FREE PRESS /POSTMEDIA NETWORK