The main issue I have with post game coverage is the general lack of personality conveyed by the majority of the league. The NHL has some of the classiest athletes and coaches in all of professional sports, but sometimes you just want to hear someone go off.

No canned responses about “working hard”, “winning the battles” and… “WINNING the battles” (the entire game could be considered “the battles”). I would love it if there was a bit more colour in those interviews and players said what they were really thinking.

Stuff like this:

LOS ANGELES KINGS

Darryl Sutter – “Mike Gillis should have GM’d a better game”.

Jonathan Quick – “After the last time, I’m just glad I made it out of this game with my life. Luckily Matt Greene was around to protect me and the only other person they really sent after me was Dale Weise.”

Dustin Brown – “I’m not saying anything until you barricade that door. Is it secure? Good.Greene, come over here and stand next to me for a second, will you? Let me just stand behind you here… okay… (Whispers) the Canucks are bitches.”

Mike Richards – “Who cares if my stick was higher than I’m going to be in 10 minutes? That goal should count!”

Willie Mitchell – “We have played them twice this month already, and in both games we took way more shots. Only this time it was from fists”.

Drew Doughty – “Dat was a slewwww foot.”

John Tortorella – “We don’t have to practice the PK for the next month. I think we got it to a place I can be comfortable with. Now we just gotta practice our winning. I also wish I had fought someone tonight.”

Roberto Luongo – “Yeah, the only question I have is why is Dustin Brown not in the hospital right now? You had one job guys: avenge me!”

Eddie Lack – “I kinda wish I had followed Roberto’s advice and sharpened the knob of my goal stick into a shiv”.

Henrik Sedin – “Tell me, NHL fans, which of the two captains is a soft, flop artist? I’m really confused on your opinion after tonight”.

Daniel Sedin – “Henrik had to serve my penalty? I can’t believe that worked. I think I’ve seen the last of the inside of the penalty box”.

Tom Sestito – “Jordan Nolan? seriously? Why did it not get more press when the Kings signed a giant 6-year-old girl to play on their team? That is a big story”.

Yannick Weber – “Sure I was garbage tonight, but I’m still the captain of Team Switzerland in the Olympics. Can you imagine how bad I would have to play to get kicked off their team? Just be thankful you didn’t see that tonight.”

Dale Weise – “Yeah, I will admit to the slew foot. I got back to the dressing room and Alex Burrows had sent me a text that said “I’m very disappointed in you”. I usually get one after every game from him, but this one really stings”.

Zach Kassian – “Is it even worth saying I barely touched Dustin Brown? You all saw that gentle loving tug the refs thought was a hook, right? Disgraceful”.

Mike Santorelli – “I am a skill player who doesn’t fight and let’s the scoreboard do the talking. This game existed in a world I cannot be apart of.”

Brad Richardson – “Wanna know something sad? When I was here, I was the team enforcer. These guys are just as cowardly as when I was a King. Maybe more so if that’s possible.”

Jason Garrison – “No body check or high stick or blocked shot would come close to hurting as much as sitting on the bench watching Yannick Weber on PP1.”

Dan. Hamhuis – “I’m just getting these brutal games out of my system now when they only piss off a small fraction of Canada, rather than all of it.”

Kevin Bieksa – “Ground, then pound. It’s lesson one in “Juice’s rules of fighting guys much bigger than you”. Remember that kids. You can ignore it Dustin Brown. It will never come up in your life”.

Zac Dalpe – “Looks like I only get to play with the Sedins when the game doesn’t degenerate into a no holds barred smackdown. I just wish I didn’t dye my hair already.”

(It’s a good look. I dare you to say it’s not)

You can follow j.Bowman on twitter (@jBowmancouver). Seriously Kings, sit on it.

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