Uuuuugh x27

Glory be! It was wash the floor day today, which always brings joy to my heart because it is not my job while my children still live under this roof. My 16-year-old daughter, bless her heart, was sweeping the tile in preparation for mopping adventures when I remembered that I had seen something on the floor between the side of the fridge and the cabinetry that was a milky-yellow, semi-liquid, mysterious substance. If you have ever seen Buckley’s Cough Syrup… LIKE THAT except a little more yellowish and thicker. True confession time: The first time I noticed it was weeks ago… but Mrs. Procrastination + Mrs. Hates Cleaning = It can wait. Stop judging me.

So I pulled out the fridge from its cozy spot only to be met by the most disgusting slop of a mess I have ever witnessed outside of murky swamps in Florida in 1986. It was not only yellow… but black and green and dark brown… and fuzzy and liquid and stiff…… Did I mention that the automatic ice maker stopped producing ice?…… come to think of it…. about the same time the yellow goo peaked out from the side of the fridge. I’m still in a semi-gagging state just thinking about that being in my kitchen. I apologize if you’re reading and eating. To clean the grimy pile, and I do mean PILE, it took a broom, a dustpan, a razor scraper, lots of paper towel, a rag, lots of soap and water, and finally bleach. It’s still not totally clean, but I’m not sure it ever will be. I could only hold my breath so long and I wasn’t about to risk passing out on that mess.

Of course, my beloved husband is away from the house… so I called Dear Ol’ Dad and he stopped by to take a peak. He fiddled, asked for tools, paper towel, a knife and then he left. He wasn’t sure if he fixed it or not. We’re waiting to see if more puss oozes from the back of the fridge.

I did feel semi-better about cleaning the floor under the fridge, even though it requires more attention before the fridge gets tucked back in. Then I thought of the stove that hasn’t been pulled out of its hole for YEARS, and what must the tile look like under there???? I just can’t bring myself to do it today. Mrs. Procrastination is back!

Before you pass judgment on me, when is the last time you pulled out your appliances and cleaned the floor????