it seems that everything I saw or heard today had to deal with friends, friendships, bonding, etc. in a way I feel empty or a feeling I can’t explain. call it paranoia but even though I am social-ish and know a lot of people, that’s just it, I know them, there is very few people that I hang around with. never knew why that is?! but I guess in a way I needed a friend today. too much bad news has come across my path that I needed someone to talk too or at least hang out with, times are changing and my closest friends are busy or away. i have only ever lost a friend once, he stabbed me in the back and manipulated the a bad situation and turned others against me just to make him look better. now I consider him a non-friend and am very careful by the people I bring around me knowing that any momment it can happen again. have I shut this part of my life out?? because before it used to be different does it still have to be like that??? I don’t even know and have been racking my brain sitting here thinking about it. in conclusion, lets see what will happen if this happens!