February 5, 2009

House Hunters International.

Who has seen this show on HGTV, in which someone looking to relocate abroad is shown three houses and then they buy one while you sit there and eat your heart out?

Good.Let’s begin. This is Malia. Molia. Mollllya:

Mollllya is an American artist who has lived in Northern California for thirteen years, but she wants to move to Mérida Mexico, which is the capital of Yucatán, because there’s just something about the ruins and maybe it’s an ancestral thing and maybe she’s a gypsy and, like that.

So Mollllya hires a real estate agent in Mérida, and this is the first house she is shown:

This house is listed at $160,000 and it’s a 300-year-old colonial in the center of town featuring two bedrooms and two baths. Although not really baths, because believe Bossy, Mollllya was all, “Where is the bathtub?No bathtub?”

But it did have rooms like this, and all of the furniture was included:

And then it was time to see the kitchen and Mollllya was all, “Where are the cabinets?No cabinets?”

Next Mollllya and the real estate agent checked out house number two:

House number two is listed at $170,000 and is also a two bedroom, two bath-less house in the center of town. House number two is being renovated, but it’s not yet complete:

Next up is the third and final house for Mollllya to see:

Listed at $60,000 house number three hasn’t been lived in for 60 years:

The real estate agent reminded Mollllya that it would be easy to renovate the house to her specifications, and she pointed out the house had good bones and pleasing light:

Mollllya admitted she liked the idea of beginning with ruins, but she was concerned about how much it would cost to complete, and how much time it would take.

Then it was time for Mollllya to decide which of the three houses she wanted to buy. Would it be the first house in the center of town, or the second house in the center of town, or the third house with the town at its center?

Well, wouldn’t you know, she purchased house number three and had it looking like Northern California faster than you can say The Guy Lied About It Taking Two Months:

And Mollllya was thrilled with her choice to relocate to Mexico. “You can’t help but be affected by living in the Yucatán,” she said. “Something takes over that allows you to see more deeply and experience more fully, and that’s bound to show up in your work.”

In fact, one of Mollllya’s favorite aspects of living in Mexico are the people, which is why she threw a garden party for the benefit of the HGTV filming. “There’s something so warm about the people here in Mexico,” Mollllya said.

So about relocating to the Yucatan? Let’s go. I’ll even purchase the house only it won’t be a house, it’ll be a one room, bathroom-less tent. And I promise not to call it “my work.” I’ll call it “drinking cheap wine every night as we watch the sun set over the peninsula.”

move to mexico, make a house that looks just like northern california, find other northern californians living in mexico and then it’s just like living in northern california. but without potable water. bitchin’. totally seems like it’s worth the effort.

Based on the rejected gorgeous gloriousness that is the polychromatic tile in house #1, and the boring Ikea-ness of the cabinets she installed in house #3 (not to mention the friends at her garden party), it is clear that she didn’t really want to move to Mexico; she just wanted to colonize it.

I look at that show and just think of how the Californians have ruined the housing market around the world. Seriously, even $160,000 in Mexico, can the locals buy anything? And houses for $300,000 in Costa Rica out in the middle of nowhere? Don’t tell me wages down there are the same as in the US. All I see are Americans spending their equity. (we’ll see if there are any new ones made this year)

12

on February 5th, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Alwyn said:

First of all, “joeinvegas”, if your name implies where you live, take a good look around at all the FORECLOSURE signs in your neck o’ the woods. Second, Bossy, I think I KNOW this woman!!! Ha ha…only figuratively, but OY, so many like her in San Miguel. Everyone is very self-congratulatory because they are ex-pats and think Mexico is so rugged. I love the cocktail party with no Mexicans (except the one doing the dishes, who they won’t show on tv).

I loved Merida. Although not the fact that at our first hotel the legs of the bed were up on something-or-other to keep bugs from crawling up. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t take house number one… that and the cabinet thing of course.

I’ve been to Merida twice for work … but managed to get in a little playing, too. I LOVE that city! They have concerts in the park every weekend, there is sculpture all up and down the main street, they actually close one side of the big boulevard to cars on Sunday, the people are terrific … and you can’t hardly see the WalMart in the middle of downtown.

My husband I watch this show all the time, and I will NEVER forget this episode! (We saw it a few months ago.) I was like, NO WAY, she is buying RUINS! I have seen more luxurious CAVES! And yet, in the blink of an eye, it was turned into a house. AMAZING.

Ah pretentious artists… The make the world go ’round, no? And apropos (sp?) of nothing being discussed here, is Bossy going to see Coraline? The movie written by Neil Gaiman? Because it looks AWESOME, and there are no random idiots wanting to colonize Mexico in it.

I am obsessed with this show, and let me just say that people in the rest of the world don’t live ANYTHING like we Americans do. In every other country, their entire living quarters are the size of Stella’s doghouse. Can you say tiny bathrooms?

21

on February 5th, 2009 at 1:40 pm

Lizzy said:

Would it be wrong for me to say that all the Mexicans that were not invited to the fecking garden party were at “their work”?

Oh, this is great. This show is the one we put on to watch during the commercials of the show we’re really watching. I love how white people in America feel so real in Latin America. Is real estate in Mexico like Europe where you move in and the kitchen is just a room with appropriate outlets and the bathroom is an empty room where a sink and bathtub might fit? And then we all run out to IKEA and see if we can make it work? Do they have IKEA in Latin America? (I can’t believe I’m asking this in a serious-like tone.)

26

on February 5th, 2009 at 1:56 pm

Reeb said:

Do they disclose how much the renovations REALLY cost? And how long they took? Or is it just “ta-da!”?

Not sure on proper punctuation there (!”?) and I’m a little sensitive to getting it right today. Nonetheless, you get my drift.

Husband and I are some of those TV-antenna-people (although no rabbit ears) that all the cable and satellite people are making muffled smirks at right now. We live out in the middle of nowhere, sort of, and are going to be forced to get cable. Yes we have The Box. Even got an HD antenna, and Husband’s dangled on the roof adjusting and adjusting it. We are determined not to have to add a cable bill to our monthly expenses. On June 12, the day formerly known as February 17, we may get just one station which won’t be enough. Will keep you posted.

The prospect of getting to watch various Mollyas (Mollya’s? both look wrong) send house prices out of the reach of the locals will sustain me if we are forced into cable land. David, what are you going to do?

27

on February 5th, 2009 at 1:57 pm

Reeb said:

Sorry for the very long rant. It’s the cable thing that’s getting to me.

Not all Mexican’s have brown skin- the Spaniards look pretty anglo and are generally more well-off than their more “Mexican looking” counterparts, which might explain the appearance of the guests at this high end housewarming- just saying. And oh yeah- she should have picked the first house- and yeah- she is totally a poseur-

This might be a tad naive, but aren’t there people in Mexico who are not of Indian descent? Um, basically white Mexicans? The people descended from the Spaniards? Like most of the people writing in here – any people of aboriginal heritage out there?

Yeah, I didn’t see the episode, so Mollllllya may very well be a bourgeois jerk. But I think y’alls pre-conceived notions are showing. Jes’ sayin.

34

on February 5th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

pkzcass said:

Forget whether I watch the show or not; I’ll take your summaries any day. Hilarious!

35

on February 5th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

judy said:

The only time the show makes me jealous is when they relocate to a tropical island where snow does not exist. I am sure, however, that mosquitoes and other insects exist and/or rule those paradises. The European episodes fill me with guilt for having so much (and being the typical gluttonousAmerican ) while at the same time having a new appreciation for having room for a stove AND a refrigerator in one room. I like the regular House Hunters better and even better “Stagers.” Lots of drama.

They NEVER EVER EVER EVER pick the house they should, which proves, again, that there exists an inverse relationship between the amount of money someone has (to spend, for example, on a house in the Yucatan) and the amount of taste that person has.

Here’s the riddle: If I suddenly had more money to spend on, say, a house in the Yucatan, would I become a chucklehead, or am I grandfathered into the category of people with decent taste (and common sense) because of my prior association with the common folk?

We watch this show as a competition. Right before they reveal which house they bought, husband, daughter and I have to guess which house. I’m right about 95% of the time because you must judge the buyer not the house. Are they telling you the truth in what they want or are they full of crap? That’s how you know what they’re going to buy.

This is one of my fav shows and I have seen this episode twice. I was so jealous. Geez…the prices are unbelievable. My concern is no internet or very slow internet. Plus I can’t help but think about the 50 reported kidnappings each month and the other 100-150 unreported each month in Mexico. Gah.

Weeelll…I do love that show. And (blush) I love Merida. NOT for what it does to “my work” – ha – but because it’s amazing and I’m envious of her ability to just go there to live. Poseur aside, this made me wish to god we had cable. Gulp!

The party to celebrate living in Mexico, and not a Mexican in sight, is pretty standard from what I’ve seen in the past three years that I’ve gone to various places in Mexico. Americans seem to like building in what I call compounds outside of town, where all they see are other Americans and Canadians (except for the gardener and cook, just like home) and they usually build American versions of what they think is typical Mexican architecture AND it’s generally really, really expensive. So this lady got a bargain, actually.
I’m just back from the Yucatan, and boy, the poverty of the locals is mind-boggling.

This is SO American. To want to move/visit somewhere else, praise it’s unique culture and blah, blah, blah and then WANT it to be exactly like what you left!! See the Westernization of…um…like…THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!

I love HH and HHI because it tells me why we are in this here financial crisis. Prices are OUTRAGOUS and people say, “I have to have 3 bathrooms and 4 bedrooms and a god damned kangaroo in the backyard!!” $515K for 550 sq ft in san fran- good lord. Try going without folks- your parents did it and you can too! (and by YOU here I mean the collective YOU that spends WAY too much on housing and then can’t afford it and gives up.)

My husband has this dream of moving to a shack in the mountains of central Mexico where we could eat beans and tortillas for every meal and live on a hundred dollars a year or whatever.

I am not 100% behind this dream.

63

on February 6th, 2009 at 11:06 am

karen l said:

This show cracks me up – the hunters are all so serious, so “oh we are getting closer to the land, experience the culture, blah blah blah” then they have a major freakout when the homes don’t have a separate shower/bath, or there is no master suite, or the kitchen refrigerator is the size of the one they just bought for princess to take to college!

I want to move where Andy and Red wind up at the end of Shawshank Redemption. Hopefully that’s far away from where this woman is.

69

on February 6th, 2009 at 8:34 pm

Rebekah said:

This show annoys the piss out of me (as does “My House is Worth What?”). The greed is ridiculous as are the granite countertops and stainless steel appliances in EVERY. FREAKIN.’ HOUSE. Also the outrageous statements made by people on these shows such as “We need a bigger house because we just had a baby.” Really? You NEED a bigger house? Somehow 3br/2ba becomes inadequate once you give birth, I guess. Don’t get me wrong – I love stuff as much as the next guy but we are over the top in this country

I have a seriously love/hate relationship with HH International. The buyers always seem to have extra money lying around, and that just annoys me. And yet I watch.

72

on February 7th, 2009 at 3:29 am

APeetsMom said:

I was totally watching that episode!!!!!! And I could NOT believe it was the same place! I am NOT at all convinced there is running water and plumbing there! How could there be???

Great post!!!!!!

73

on February 7th, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Carmen's Daughter said:

@Margie and
@TheotherLisa:
No, when people like Mollya go to Mexico, they usually don’t mix with, as you put it, white Mexicans, because the Americans very rarely learn Spanish, and don’t participate in Mexican civic or cultural activities with even the upper class Mexicans (reading clubs, parade, equestrian, etc). Also, when they do try to hang out there’s a tendency to complain about the crime, poverty, corruption, etc at which point the upper class Mexicans become cold: “We run this place and your govt props up ours in return for cheap labor from our lower classes, it’s always been this way and it’s why you get your house built for cheap and cheap servants, you benefit so don’t whine, what are you, a communist agitator?” Fact is, so many low income Mexicans are Mollya’s Calif (North and South) that she could “do” Mexican culture right there in No. Calif: (parades, Mexican Museum in SF, Galeria de LR, Teatro in San Juan Bautista, mariachi concerts, Ballet Folklorico Los Lupenos, etc) plus the same Mexican TV channels can be seen in Calif. But it’s not about Mexican culture at all, or any culture, it’s about getting a cheaper McMansion than she could get from the constrction guys (also Mexican) in the USA. BTW, it’s a sure thing the white people in at her party aren’t Mexican: upper class Mexicans normally don’t wear Mexican traditional folk attire like the bald guy’s guayabera shirt. Just as a country club types here in the states don’t wear cowboy or farming attire. They want to be seen in the latest U.S. and European styles. The guy with hair is probably from USA cuz his shirts too small, the sleeves don’t reach his wrists. Upper class Mexican guys are much more clothes conscious. Finally, its doubtful the red haired lady is Mexican, when they color their hair they overwhelmingly go blonde, auburn shades aren’t popular. @ Kristin: tell hubby he can buy beans and tortillas here in the states, so why not buy some cheap land say in Arkansas or Mississippi and build a rustic vacation cabin there? There’s Low income Mexican immigrant communities in all the agric areas in the southern U.S. where he could go for authentic restaurant meals etc while you would just be a highway drive away from U.S. suburbia. Why oh why do American men have these Mexican beach bum fantasies? Okay, I’m done with my in depth analysis. My Dad was working class American and Mom was upper class Mexican so Ive lived in both worlds. Bossy, I love your blog! I’ve been reading it since day 1 and it kept me buoyed through the freefall of the Bush years. You are hilarious. When I remember your pix of Stella dancing to disco music and think of Barak O’Boyfriend! Many thanks for your sharp wit and great writing, and please pardon my long comment.

I am SO pleased you covered this particular episode for me as my dear husband removed the remote somewhat forcefully from hand just as we were about to see house number 2.
I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE SHE WENT FOR #3. (Can blackbird *say* fucking here? Does Bossy even *read* this far down? and what’s up with the *’s?)
Blackbird knows that if SHE decided to relocate to Merida Mexico HER construction workers would not even have that pile of debris moved out of the dining room in two months.
And now, because she is *speaking* in the third person, bb will sign off.

75

on February 8th, 2009 at 1:33 am

AJMick said:

Okay, the comments almost made me laugh as much as the post! Also? The whole time I was thinking that this could be a Stuff White People Like post…

My husband and I went to Mexico a few years ago. And really don’t care to go back. The main reason is because of the way the Mexican’s are treated in their own land. =( No wonder they come here illegally.

I LOVE LOVE this show and record it as much as possible…I have seen this mexican episode a couple times..one of my favorites is the lesbians in Sweden..and the retired couple in costa rica..and of course the old man and his young bride in aruba. obsessed much.. yes.

OMG. I feel the same way about this show. I love it but I hate it because of the fact that these people whine about the fact there are no granite counter tops in the beach side mexican villa and stuff like that. My daughter makes me turn it off because I get so sour. Thank God I’m not the only one.

80

on April 7th, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Fred said:

I would like to know how couples who made the purchases are doing now. I am STRONGLY considering the move to SA or the Carib. I would especially like to know if the younger couple from WI or MN who purchased the small resort are doing. Anyone have a clue?

81

on September 8th, 2009 at 7:32 pm

mac said:

Oh, by the way Bossy has moved back to the USA.
I think you all drove her out of mexico with your comments…LOL.
I purchased a home 2 years ago in Merida…love the city and the people (mexican )….and am glad the san miguel types have thus far ignored Merida. Hope it stays that way for a very long time!!

Awesome post! Your wrap up was great and put a smile on my face. I was wondering what happened to the woman and then saw that she left Merida. I wonder what caused her to pack up.

I am addicted to HHI. I watch and dream about living in whatever town they are showing that night. Well, possibly not Cuenca, Ecuador or whatever that town was in Romania. They make it look so simple.

It makes me cringe when the house hunters (be it HHI or HH) complain about the obviously cosmetic shortcomings or dislikes. Where do they find these people that can’t see beyond the paint color on the walls?

I wonder what they do when they turn on the TV and find that HGTV isn’t there or that it’s a combo show with a little HGTV, FoodTV and Lifetime TV all blended into one cable channel — IF they can get cable in the first place.

Yep, I’ve been an expat a few times and know it’s not wine and roses living abroad. And yes, I’m jealous. I’d give anything to pack up and move abroad again.

83

on February 23rd, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Patti said:

Congrats to Mollllya. It appears that many of you that have critical posts have indeed never visited the beautiful White City of Merida. This is a very charming city full of culture and diversity. The diversity provides the opportunity to renovate your home in the style of your comfort. This appears to be just what Mollllya has done. It admit that it is note quite as Mexican as I would elect but it is not my home.
I do know that there is a second HHI featuring Merida to be broadcasted on Feb 24/25. I am anxious.
I believe that Mollllya purchased this house about three years ago. Currently it is not possible to purchase a similar home in this area of Merida for $60,000. More likely $90,000 with the cost of renovations increasing often as well. Do we know what the actual renovation cost was for this home? My husband and I have been searching for a home or ruin for about 18 months and may have finally made a selection.
Again congrats to you Mollllya and enjoy this beautiful city full of culture and color.

There’s some interesting stuff on her site…like how she’ll teach you to let your subconscious paint. There’s something about “the twilight tongue” and it has nothing to do with that cute British actor.

85

on February 27th, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Bart said:

There are so many things in that show that were false. House #1 may be 300 years old (maybe!) but that tile is only 40-50 years old and even Mexicans would find it tacky. Obviously a gringo put in on the walls. (the age can be determined by the tile sizes. older tiles were smaller and thicker in Merida).

House # 2: blah. I guess “post-modern inside colonial” could become a new rage, if glue-sniffers had money. Warm and authentic on the outside, sterile and bland on the inside? Who does that remind you of…..?

House # 3: They must have a nice video camera with a real WIDE angle lens because that “space” is tiny in reality. TI-NY. Narrow small rooms. Small patio. Enough room for “teh work”, we suppose.

And the price for renovation? At the time of taping, $50,000 was a ridiculous price to pay for that much work. Today, 2010, it might cost that much if you couldn’t speak Spanish and rely on a greedy real estate agent to find your contractor. In Merida??? Greedy? nah……

Oh, and for those above who doubted, those are GRINGO guests — Norte Americanos — at the party. Not a Mexican in sight. We actually know most of those people. grrrringos. Bolillos. sabes?

And…. actually, yes, there are still many Yucatecans who do wear the traditional clothing because it is so comfortable. Not the teens, but plenty of other people. The teens are as influenced by InterTubes ‘culture’ and TV as teens anywhere in the world.

Still, it is true that Yucatecans are generally friendly, very polite almost to formality, open and helpful. Merida is a special town, but HHI presentations are a Disney-ized version.

87

on October 23rd, 2011 at 8:58 pm

John said:

Hello, I would like to find 6 couples to go into together in
buying a house in Merida. If your interested, please email me.

88

on July 2nd, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Eric said:

I’m not sure I understand the cattiness of some of the comments, above. How many people have the courage to move to a different country, even if only for a few years? How many of YOU have done it? I can’t tell you how many people I’ve known in the good old US of A who have never visited ANY foreign country… but hey, they went to Hawaii, once.

By strange coincidence, I am sitting in the living room of the house in question RIGHT NOW. It’s a vacation rental called “Casa Pepem”, and it is quite comfortable. What’s the big deal? It’s got walls, a ceiling, a couple of bathrooms, a cute back yard. Quite functional. And I’m here for a few weeks of sightseeing and relaxation.