Friday, August 20, 2010

First Taste: Rickard's White

Sydney Brillo Duodenum's little bitch, and second official reader, Waldie Duester, recently returned from his century or so old family haunt on a crisp green speckled Canadian lake, the kind created by God to house that flawless creature the loon so He could give real purpose to the human sense of hearing and allow the human soul to be haunted by the divine. Because he is ever in SBD's debt, Waldie is under orders to fetch beer whenever on travel. Not just any beer, but local craft beer or beer of a national origin that is unavailable in the United States. Duester usually returns empty handed with some sorry ass excuse about not being near a package store or having to have his pubes waxed or some such pussy bullshit. But yesterday Duester arrived with a large travel cold bag clutched securely under his arm like some bank truck monkey moving a money bag through a bank lobby. SBD could only imagine the liquid delights within; perhaps a Schleimhammer Roggenbier from Toronto's Mill Street Brewery or the newly born Lake of Bays Pale Ale from Muskoka. Ever the dramatician, Waldie mindfreaked the bag with his hands and withdrew a Rickard's White, affecting a worried grimace as the Rickard's clinked against bottles of Molson EX and Labatts 50, in false fear of one jostle too many compromising the delicate chemistry captured in amber. Rickard's - a "wheat ale brewed with orange peel and coriander." Sound familiar? Your host played along, although he was not played by this charlatan, for the Rickard's White is nothing less than (or more than) Blue Moon, created by Coors back in 1995 and upon the merger of Coors with Molson, offered in Canada as Rickard's White. So Mr. Duester Bitch has brought back from Canada what SBD could procure from the Montgomery County, MD liquor nanny, and in a much prettier bottle, and thus Duester goes deeper into debt to Bank SBD.

There's no need to review the Rickard's White. As said, it's Blue Moon. It's much like a bowl of oat bran watered down with orange juice and left on the counter overnight so a mouse can cross over it at 2:34 am to add a bit of its urine, which in the right quantities instills a lemony citrus effect such as might be imparted by cooking with crushed coriander seeds.

There was more in Mr. Duester's bag of tricks but reviews of those brews will have to wait while SBD works to flush this trauma from his system with coffee and diuretics.

Update:

SBD has been informed that he is an ungrateful dick. He agrees. Amends are in the offing.