“Well, it could get interesting.” The old man settled into the chair cushions. “I remember once I had my stool pulled up to the cow, had the bucket clamped between my knees, and I was almost done milking when this big ol’ horsefly buzzed around my head. I swished and swatted until the ornery thing flew away from me and set off to bother the cow.”

“Did she smack it with her tail?”

“The fly knew better than to get in range of that whip. Nope, it dove right down into the cow’s ear.”

The kid rubbed his own ear. “What happened?”

“Nothing much, right away. The cow went back to chomping hay and I went back to milking. A dozen or so pulls later, that horsefly plopped right into the milk bucket.”

“How’d that happen?”

The old man rubbed his chin. “The way I figure it, that fly went in one ear and out the udder.”

The kid sat up, dug his fists into his hips and glared at his grandfather. “You made that up. And it’s not funny.”

“Oh, I dunno. When I told it to the cow, she laughed so hard, milk squirted out her nose.”

“Grandpa!” The kid dropped off the old man’s lap and stomped from the room. “I’m going to go talk to Grandma. She makes sense when she talks.”

The old man crossed his arms across his belly and chuckled. “And that’s why she’s always pestered by varmints and can’t get anything done. Now where was I? Oh, yeah…” The old man smiled and drifted back to sleep.

— Wake Cole for more tall tales at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.