The land of Au Lac is blooming...
This blog is my monologue about my Vietnam tales, my Vietnamese headache, changes in the country, in the people, and my loved ones...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Knight & Fight

Have we read from our childhood that a beautiful princess is waiting in the castle for a handsome knight to rescue one day? Have most of the girls while growing up defined for themselves a prince charming going together to the ball? That's the burning question, do we need a knight to come to rescue or to be rescued?

In the reality, this electronic society requires each of us to survive on our own, whoever you are! The search for a knight can turn into a nightmare.

A lady friend of mine, H. 29 year-old, good career, cute, open, sharp, is constantly looking for a man who would care, and stand up for her, who would not mind her career success, "Finding someone who understands, loves and accept who you are, that does not care about your educational degree or social position!" Does this sound simple to do so? Then you are never been in dating game.Have we all be raised with thought, a woman without her man is an empty spot? According to the past, woman place is next to the oven, where they look after their family through each meals, clean cloth and raise their children until the day they realize that only men have "brain". And now that woman working and bring home food, and society teaches us the equality and freedom for woman, should we become man, be treated like man? Do we still need a prince charming for the sake of our soul?

I remember once in Vung Tau, we were a group of professional people together having coffee in a small shop next to the beach. By co-incidence, I was the only person who worked with databases, Oracle, and all the related things to system analysis and design, and also the only one girl in the group. One guy popped up a technical question of my expertise, and of course, I was assigned to answer. After getting information, exchanging ideas, feedbacks and it should have been going well if, I was not technically correct. Turned back to the group, and he said "You could never win by argueing with a woman!", and everyone ended in laughters. I was shocked to the core, as the same time, I was badly treated as a professional and as a woman. Should we girls never to give technical advise, if we do not want to be treated as a noisy girl loving arguing? Shoud we girls be upset in this case, so that we prove him right, that you should never argue with a woman?It is certain that my case is not only instance that happened. If we go each step from every mind of working gals, we could find much more embarassing moments than that!

You like to have a man when he helps you carrying a big box upstair, and now that when you have an opinion, are you entitled to have an open discussion without a lame excuse that we don't want to argue with a woman - since you are correct?Where is the thin line between gentleman behaviour and the attitude of disregard you as an equal partner? Why girls always have to choose, whether to protect their feminine site or at the same time their professional entity? Some use to their advantages but the rest go to extreme.

Are we really from different planet? Or am I just paranoid?

The knight is your gentleman, or the bastard forces you work day and night?

The whole world is moving forward but there is still a question proposed the discussion of woman and her role in a modern society. Can we talk about man now?

3 comments:

Your post is interesting, very interesting, i would like to go thought the details… but i will make simple.Women got a problem, in fact few problems, your girl friend of 29, you, she, her, they, all women: You are never satisfied… don’t say no, it’s true , you are never satisfy just because since your are child, the world put in your head of the little girl: ”Wait for the the prince”, and you can give the most kind, intelligent, romantic… man to a woman, even if she’s happy with him, she will still asking to herself:”Where is my prince” or “What if?”. Matter of fact you brought back on the table the subject of the charming prince…hm?

You ask who is the knight, the gentleman or the bastard?Simple:This is the bastard!!! Am I right? No?Give to a woman a nice, intelligent man, she will be happy one time, the second time she will complain that her man, is not man enough. You think I say shit huh? Believe me, I am a man, and matter of fact after the bunch of ladies I met in my life, the conclusion was simple: “Treat them like a gentlemen, they will played you, treat them like a bastard, they will respect you”.But let’s be clear you got the bastard who try to be so, and the bastard who will be enough bastard to keep the girl in love.

Let’s get back to our business: I don’t think that women got a bad position in VN society, I take the opposite view. The fact is that Vietnamese men are afraid to have a woman who got more cash that them, just because money, was, is and will be a power of control. Mo money, no power, no control, so men keep running away.

I can see that in my VN girlfriends who made around $1000 bucks a month, they are all singles, most of them are divorced. Second hand as they say. But matter of fact they are the most interesting girl with who I got chat…

In french we use to say: “If you want to live happy, just live hidden”, meaning in this case, don’t talk about, and don’t show how much cash you got.

To close this chat, honestly, if a girl here do not has more that 25’, and a university degree and don’t make more than $500/moth, I am really not interesting, and I know fews guys like who are just like me: no time to play with stupid little girl, sitting whole day in café… So say to your girlfriend of 29’ to not give up.

Thank you for your compliments about my post. Well, it is a very interesting thing you said about the bastard, which is, according you, attracts girls in general, I would like to write my points that we are not easily fooled like that, this is something I already put down on a different post of boys & girls, please check back for a few more days. Women have problems, quite a few actually as society gives us the the chances and the responsilities to fight, but biology will fail us on timing, don't you think?BTW, I just do a little visit to your homepage, I do like your design, and would like have some comment if you would not mind my franglais :-)P.S. I will pass your words to my girlfriends, that we should frequent more cafetarias, as there might be still hope...

I hope that u r not easily fooled, you seems to be a very intelligent woman...hmm?and i really appreciate your posts, it give me a different point of view, and i hope that we will have to time to shares our thoughts as a modern vietnamese woman and a foreigner man....

Honestly, say to your girls to stay out of the cafeteria... basically serious men don t have to time relax in theses kind of places, because they r working and they care about their mother...:O)!

Thanks for my design, about the comments you will have anything you want... i cannot refuse anythig to a Lady, this is my main weakness.:O)