Wednesday, September 23, 2015

You know how Republicans are always going on and on about how much they love Israel and how the most important thing in the world is to protect Israel cuz they love it so much?

Ever wonder how sincere they are about their love for the people of Israel?

Well wonder no more!

Harlan Crow is a conservative mega donor who owns a mansion in Texas
that contains a right-wing treasure trove of Nazi artifacts such as
paintings by Hitler and a signed copy of “Mein Kampf.” Crow also owns a
set of dinnerware and linens once used by the murderous tyrant who
ordered the extermination of millions of Jews during World War II.And it is among these items where Republican presidential wannabe Marco Rubio has chosen to hold a fundraiser for his campaign.
As if that wasn’t insulting enough, Rubio’s fundraiser among Hitler’s
stuff is occurring on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year on the
Jewish calendar.

I'm sure that the other Republican candidates will call on Rubio to "refudiate" the Nazi fanboy any minute now!

I heard a few minutes of the most recent Republican debate on the Majority Report's MST-style coverage. There wasn't a whole lot of interest, unless you enjoy hearing Jeb! and the others pushed into their lockers and given wedgies by Donald Trump. But I did enjoy this awkward moment from hillbilly Elmer Gantry Mike Huckabee's opening statement.

FORMER GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE, R-ARK.: I'm Mike Huckabee. I'm delighted to be on this stage with some remarkable fellow Republicans.

None of us are a self-professed socialist.

Oh, you know he thinks he just zinged Bernie Sanders! Like ooh, what a sick burn! You do know what "self-professed" means, right Cletus? It means he's not embarrassed or ashamed or whatever of being a socialist. It means he refers to himself that way. You're not insulting him. It's like calling me "incredibly handsome" and expecting me to hang my head in shame. But I'm not offended, I would say "yes, I know. I say that to myself in the mirror every day."

Like this, only handsomer.

But that wasn't even the awkward part. I mean, sure it was awkward, but then came this:

None of us on this state
are under investigation . . .

Then there's this awkward little pause when he realizes that Chris Christie and Scott Walker are on stage with him.

. . .by the FBI . . .

Um. . .

because we destroyed government
records, or because we leaked secrets.

I think I handled that pret-ty well!

Marco Rubio tried the self-effacing humor route:

SEN. MARCIO RUBIO, R-FL.: Thank you. My name is Marco Rubio. I'm from Florida. . . And I'm also aware that California has a drought, and so that's why I made sure I brought my own water.

Now the CNN Transcript says (Laughter) but that is a lie. That joke fell flatter than a Polish joke at a Polish funeral.

By the way, I think I actually flew on this plane with Ronald Reagan
when I was a congressman, and his goals, and mine, really much - are
pretty much the same. Lift Americans, unify, give hope, grow America,
and restore it is to that great, shining city on a hill.

Yes, he was a great one, and I learned much from watching him. The
most important thing, hope to Americans, unify, lift everyone in
America.