Damm....I think some girls need to do that, but I guess it's hard for them if they see something they think resembles what they want.

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No doubt... and the key word there being that he "resembles" what they want. Peolpe can resemble anything they wish to resemble when they first meet you and are playing that role. We all do it... not necessarily intending to deceive but we try to put our best foot forward to impress the person we're interested in.

It takes time to really get to know a person's true character. It's hard to fake integrity, and loyalty, and whatever other important values that might be of importance to you, for too long. I put way more stock in what a man does than what he says. He can gas my head up all day every day telling me sweet nothings... but if his actions don't coincide, then I can clearly see what time it is.

I do think most females will use that "excuse" when meeting a dude that they aren't feelin, just to keep him there "in case" feelings develop, like "well....I'm not looking for a BF, just friends right now, and I want to get to know people, and maybe something will happen in the future" and ten dudes will be thinkin "all I gotta do is keep tryin and eventually she'll like me"....but then she'll meet a dude and be on him hard as hell after five days,

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It could be an excuse and it could also be her being honest with you about what it is she's interested in from you. You are always free to decide you don't wanna be the dude who waits around when you aren't having the kind of relationship that you want to have with her.

It's not like she owed you anything or mislead you. Maybe she weighed her options and decided after some time that you just weren't what she wanted?

and be thinkin and actin like they go together, to the point that it's like "I can't go out with ____ because ____ would get mad" or "I can't _____ with ______ because I would be mad if ______ was doing it".

I think a lot of women do that. They meet a guy, fall in serious "like" with his "representative" [cause you know we don't get to know the real "him" till some time later on down the road], and they go into fantasy mode... planning their future wedding (when they only been dating a week) and imagining how their future kids are gonna look and how wonderful their life together is gonna be and all that extra la-la land shit... then they get all butt hurt when reality hits and he turns out not to be this fictitional Prince Charming character they imagined him to be (cause, you know... he turns out to be a human being with actual flaws and shiot) and things fall apart. It just doesn't make good sense.

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LMAO...it's just funny because the girl I had somethin goin on with for the last few months is in this mode with this new dude right now. And I really don't even like her at that level, but I got used to her, and it's more less me bein attached to her than wanting to be with her. However...she's been talkin to this dude for a lil more than a month, but they've had sex, and he hasn't even taken her out yet...but she is on this dude soooooooooooo fuckin hard, always talks about him, is always giddy and happy, talkin bout that's her boyfriend in her mind, already put a picture of them up in a frame on her dresser, and is just goin crazy as fuck over him. But I am 90% sure that things will not work out for her....and I have told her 100 times, "I really hope you all get together and last...because if you don't....I'm gonna be laughin soooo fuckin hard, and I will not give a fuck about it at all!!!"

And the main thing to me is that no relationship that starts off like that EVER works!! I mean, she let him hit before he even took her out once, goin off the word that he "would" and "will" take her out, but hasn't had time or whatever??? And I know he's not puttin their picture in frames n shit, so it's just hillarious to me. I thought this shit ended in HS, but she's 22!

I am obviously bitter about the situation, but I just think it's funny how girls act like that...so readin your comment after just gettin back from hearin her giddy ass just makes me laugh about it.

It could be an excuse and it could also be her being honest with you about what it is she's interested in from you. You are always free to decide you don't wanna be the dude who waits around when you aren't having the kind of relationship that you want to have with her.

It's not like she owed you anything or mislead you. Maybe she weighed her options and decided after some time that you just weren't what she wanted?

Not much you can do about that other than accept her choice, kiddo.

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Well I've definitely seen couples who started as friends, and the dude pursued her for a long time, and usually had to wait for her to be done with another dude....but in my case, it's never went down like that. I don't even think I've ever got with somebody, or messed with somebody, where it didn't start out on some sort of tip that wasn't just friends only. So whenever a female does give me that "I don't know what I'm lookin for" or "I am just cool right now" or "I just want to get to know people" it just usually doesn't turn into anything positive to me.

I don't get mad at it at all, and I don't feel like she mislead me or owed me anything. I always accept it when I'm not what she wants...it's never at all a problem with that. The only thing I hate is when that's the case...but they end up gettin with or fallin for a dude who isn't half of what I am, and who obviously doesn't care about her like I do or would care if I had the chance...and that's usually what happens. And that's with no bias....because I know I'm hella short so most girls see me more as "aww, cute" versus "damn, sexy", but for them to get with the dude that obviously isn't as on point as I am in every other way is just jokes to me.

I am obviously bitter about the situation, but I just think it's funny how girls act like that...so readin your comment after just gettin back from hearin her giddy ass just makes me laugh about it.

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Yeah, its obvious that your pride might be a lil hurt and you're feeling rejected by the situation (and there ain't nothing wrong with that), otherwise you wouldn't really be trippin like you are and so anxious to "laugh in her face" when the shit falls apart like you clearly hope it will, when you said yourself that you didn't really "like her at that level", anyway. Or is there a possibility that you may have liked her more than you are willing to admit? Its okay to admity it... lol. We've all been there.

Whether or not he's taken her out isn't really of huge importance, as far as where their relationship may be heading (at least, not IMO)... maybe he doesn't have his money right at this point? Maybe he's still trying to feel her out to see if she's just interested in using him for a few free dates? Could be a million different reasons they haven't gone on an official date where he has to spend money on her, yet. Not all women see [a man spending his] cash as a prerequisite for having sex with him... women who do are typically referred to as whores.

I don't see a man spending his cash on a woman as any valid indication that his intentions towards her are any more honorable than a cat that she just likes to hang out with and do things with that don't cost either of them any money at all. Nikkas spend money on chickenheads they just wanna tap every day. Doesn't mean a thing. If he's not who he claims to be or into her like he says he is, she will find out soon enough... we all have to learn our lessons the hard way, sometimes.

If I were you, I wouldn't even spend too much of my time worried about it... and definitely not feeding into that negativity by wishing her any ill will... its wasted energy, feel me? Why begrudge her the opportunity to find someome that might really be into her, when you yourself said that you weren't? Focus on the women in your life who are interested in you and what it is you have to offer.

Well I've definitely seen couples who started as friends, and the dude pursued her for a long time, and usually had to wait for her to be done with another dude....but in my case, it's never went down like that. I don't even think I've ever got with somebody, or messed with somebody, where it didn't start out on some sort of tip that wasn't just friends only. So whenever a female does give me that "I don't know what I'm lookin for" or "I am just cool right now" or "I just want to get to know people" it just usually doesn't turn into anything positive to me.

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I guess the disconnect here is in the way I define a friend. I have some friends who I would never consider hooking up with... I usually refer to those guys as my homeboys. Then theres guys who I may have romantic interest in, but we are just hanging out and nothing serious is going on... I call those guys my "friends", too... cause what else am I to call them? lol. The latter are the types of friends that I usually end up hooking up with. We get to know one another without all that pressure and superficiality that comes along when you first meet someone and immediately jump into hardcore dating mode... I get to get a feel for who he really is and base my decision on that.

I don't get mad at it at all, and I don't feel like she mislead me or owed me anything. I always accept it when I'm not what she wants...it's never at all a problem with that. The only thing I hate is when that's the case...but they end up gettin with or fallin for a dude who isn't half of what I am, and who obviously doesn't care about her like I do or would care if I had the chance...and that's usually what happens. And that's with no bias....because I know I'm hella short so most girls see me more as "aww, cute" versus "damn, sexy", but for them to get with the dude that obviously isn't as on point as I am in every other way is just jokes to me.

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I feel like I just wanna give you a big ass hug right now. I'm 5'4", too... lol... we'd be at the perfect height for me to look into your eyes and for me to tell you "baby, its gon' be alright". Height is a big deal with a lot of women, so I'm sure it really sucks for you right now having to deal with that... but trust and believe that there will come along a woman who will appreciate you... every last inch. You're hella young, though... just keep developing yourself as a person, try to stay positive and make you some "friends"... no pressure. The right person WILL come along.

women are stupid idiots. one day they will be like ok lets hook up and the next day they are so emotionaly fucktarded they dont even remmeber your name..they are natural born traitors, manipulators, liars and cheaters.

its a lot healthier to be gay and die of AIDS than to get with women...MUCH healthier.

Yeah, its obvious that your pride might be a lil hurt and you're feeling rejected by the situation (and there ain't nothing wrong with that), otherwise you wouldn't really be trippin like you are and so anxious to "laugh in her face" when the shit falls apart like you clearly hope it will, when you said yourself that you didn't really "like her at that level", anyway. Or is there a possibility that you may have liked her more than you are willing to admit? Its okay to admity it... lol. We've all been there.

Whether or not he's taken her out isn't really of huge importance, as far as where their relationship may be heading (at least, not IMO)... maybe he doesn't have his money right at this point? Maybe he's still trying to feel her out to see if she's just interested in using him for a few free dates? Could be a million different reasons they haven't gone on an official date where he has to spend money on her, yet. Not all women see [a man spending his] cash as a prerequisite for having sex with him... women who do are typically referred to as whores.

I don't see a man spending his cash on a woman as any valid indication that his intentions towards her are any more honorable than a cat that she just likes to hang out with and do things with that don't cost either of them any money at all. Nikkas spend money on chickenheads they just wanna tap every day. Doesn't mean a thing. If he's not who he claims to be or into her like he says he is, she will find out soon enough... we all have to learn our lessons the hard way, sometimes.

If I were you, I wouldn't even spend too much of my time worried about it... and definitely not feeding into that negativity by wishing her any ill will... its wasted energy, feel me? Why begrudge her the opportunity to find someome that might really be into her, when you yourself said that you weren't? Focus on the women in your life who are interested in you and what it is you have to offer.

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I mean...it's one of those situations where I like her enough to trip on the situation, and to where I would have got with her if it wasn't for some of the shit she's done since I've known her...but at this point, I just see how dumb she acts about certain things, and it's just too many issues between us. However...for me bein anxious to "laugh in her face" is definitely an immature, bitter statement, but I only feel like that because of how history and how shady she's been about certain things. I don't want to tell the entire story, especially since most people wouldn't care about the intricate details...but one thing about it is that me n her were f'kin, and agreed that it wouldn't go past that. However, after she knew this dude for a week, she was complainin bout how shady he was, and how one night she walked all the way to my apt. because he wouldn't take her home when she said she felt uncomfortable...so for a week, all I'm hearin from her is bad shit about dude. Next thing you know, they make up, and she still wants to hide the fact that she's talkin to him. When she finally told me the deal, I wasn't even mad at her....but the fact that she keeeeeeps on bringin him up ALL THE TIME, and got cocky about it makes it harder to deal with you know?

As far as him not takin her out....I see that as being funny because she's the type of girl who always insists she wants a dude to take her out and this n that...but many dudes feel like damm, if I already have sex wit her, it's no reason to take her out, which is basically just "showin her" that I like her or whatev. And it has nothin at all to do with money...but just how she'll even say "I can't wait for him to finally take me out" or "I really believe he'll take me out". Also, he's graduatin this week, and after tonight, she's not gonna see him for a month...and he'll be four hours away in ATL for the next year while she's here, so she's basically actin like she knows for fact that he wants to be in a long distance relationship with a girl he's known for a month and already had sex with, even though he's about to start a completely new life in a major city....and that shit just doesn't go to me.

I just don't think he's into her like she is into him, because she has that HS "I have a new booooooyfriend" type of attitude....and I was definitely into her, even after she did and said shit that would make me never want to take her serious at that level, and mainly because she's the only girl I've focused my energy on all semester, and it might be gone because of something I don't even think is gonna happen, personally.