High School For Performing Arts Student Dealing With Really Weird Social Pressures

PHILADELPHIA—Philadelphia High School for Performing and Visual Arts student Samantha Bylum, 16, told reporters this week that she is currently experiencing an overwhelming amount of pressure to conform to some really weird social norms. “I just want to play one of the supporting roles in [Tennessee Williams’ play] Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, but I feel like I won’t be cool if I don’t try out for [the role of] Margaret,” said Bylum, who has also felt compelled by her peers to engage in bizarre, abnormal behaviors such as memorizing dialogues from Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead and enjoying the new Esperanza Spalding album. “Of course, if I do get the part, I’ll have to quit tap, and then everyone will think I’m a total loser.” At press time, Bylum was being mercilessly teased for never having seen the play August: Osage County.