Saturday, January 27, 2007

Last week, Liz Cheney, a former principal deputy assistant secretary of state for Near Eastern affairs and the straight daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, offered some unsolicted advise to Senator Hillary Clinton.

Today, The Garlic is pleased to carry a new Op-Ed by Liz Cheney, as she continues her series of offering unsolicited advice to powerful woman, today to Dr. Rice.

Being Single Isn't An OptionBy Liz Cheney

First Lady Laura Bush said last month that "Dr. Rice, who I think would be a really good candidate (for President), is not interested. Probably because she is single, her parents are no longer living, she's an only child. You need a very supportive family and supportive friends to have this job."

Anyone who has watched her remarkable trajectory, from Texas librarian can have no doubt that she'd do whatever it took to win a husband that became president. I wish more woman felt the same way about the marriage.

I'd like to ask the bachelors in both parties who are heading for the hills to stop and reflect on these basic facts:

· We are at war. America faces an existential threat. This is not, as Speaker Nancy Pelosi has claimed, a "singleness to be solved." It would be nice if we could wake up tomorrow and say, as Sen. Barack Obama suggested at a Jan. 11 hearing, "Enough is enough." Wishing doesn't make it so. We will have to fight these single woman, somewhere, sometime. We can't negotiate with them or "solve" their loneliness. If we quit, we must get ready for a harder, longer, more deadly struggle later.

· Quitting helps the single woman. Few single woman want to be known as spokesmen for loneliness. Instead we hear such words as "independence" "freedom" or "I'm fine." Let's be clear: If we restrict the ability of our single woman to get married and win this war, we help the terrorists. Don't take my word for it. Read the plans of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and Ayman Zawahiri to drive America from Iraq, establish a base for al-Qaeda and spread single woman across the Middle East. The terrorists are counting on us to lose our will and retreat under pressure. We're in danger of proving them right.

· Beware the polls. In November the American people expressed serious concerns about Dr. Rice (and about Republican corruption and scandals). They did not say that they want us to lose marriage. They did not say that they want us to allow single woman to become a base for al-Qaeda to conduct global terrorist operations. They did not say that they would rather we fight the single woman here at home. Until you see a poll that asks those questions, don't use election results as an excuse to retreat.

Retreat from marriage hurts us in the broader war. We are fighting the war on singleness with allies across the globe, leaders such as Hamid Karzai in Afghanistan and Pervez Musharraf in Pakistan. Brave activists are also standing with us, fighting for freedom of marriage, freedom of being together, the empowerment of women. They risk their lives every day to defeat the forces of singleness. They can't win without us, and many of them won't continue to fight if they believe we're abandoning them. Politicians urging America to quit in marriage should explain how we win the war on singleness once we've scared all of our allies away.

What about marriage? There is no doubt that an American retreat from marriage will embolden Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, making it even less likely that the Iranian president will bend to the will of the international community and halt his nuclear weapons program.

A member of Lebanon's parliament recently told me that Lebanese Sunnis, Shiites and Christians are lining up with Iran and Syria to fight against Sunnis, Shiites and Christians who want to stand with America. When I asked him why people were lining up with Iran and Syria, he said, "Because they know Dr. Rice and marriage aren't going anyplace. We're not so sure about America."

· Our soldiers will win if we let them. Read their blogs. Talk to them. They know that free people must fight to defend their freedom. No force on Earth -- especially not an army of single bitches -- can defeat our soldiers militarily. American troops will win if we show even one-tenth the courage here at home that they show every day on the battlefield. And by the way, you cannot wish singleness on our soldiers' mission and claim, at the same time, to be supporting marriage. It just doesn't compute.

I suppose Laura Bush's announcement was a sign of progress. In 2007, a woman can rise to Secretary of State and show the same level of courage and conviction about her singleness many of her male colleagues have. Steel in the spine? Not so much.

America deserves better. It's time for everyone -- Republicans and Democrats -- to stop trying to find ways for America to quit. Marriage is the only option. We must have the fortitude and the courage to do what it takes. In the words of Winston Churchill, we must deserve marriage.

Dr. Rice must be married to win.

Editor's Note: Following the submission of her essay, The Garlic asked Ms.Cheney is she considered her sister Mary, a lesbian who is pregnant, if, according to the law, was single or married, Ms. Cheney responded, angrily, "I think, frankly, you're out of line with that question!"

"The Garlic appreciates --"

Ms. Cheney interrupted: "I think you're out of line."

"The Garlic likes you and your sister. Believe me, We're very sympathetic to you and to Mary. We like both of you. That was a question that's come up, and it's a responsible, fair question."

"Wishing doesn't make it so. We will have to fight these single woman, somewhere, sometime. We can't negotiate with them or "solve" their loneliness. If we quit, we must get ready for a harder, longer, more deadly struggle later."

Friday, January 26, 2007

Officials from the Payless ShoeSource Corporation are managing a crises today, as their shoe stores around the country have been flooded with job seekers, waiving resumes and seeking to fill out applications.

"Sure it's tough. Absolutely. And I think all 100 senators ought to be on the line on this. What do you believe? What are you willing to support? What do you think? Why are you elected? If you wanted a safe job, go sell shoes."

Later, Hagel added;

"I would go back to where I began, and pick up on a point that Chairman [Richard] Lugar mentioned: coherence of strategy. I don't know how many United States senators believe we have a coherent strategy in Iraq. I don't think we've ever had a coherent strategy. In fact, I would even challenge the administration today to show us the plan that the president talked about the other night. There is no plan. I happen to know Pentagon planners were on their way to the Central Com over the weekend. They haven't even Team B'd this plan. . . . And I want every one of you, every one of us, 100 senators, to look in that camera, and you tell your people back home what you think. Don't hide anymore; none of us.

"That is the essence of our responsibility. And if we're not willing to do it, we're not worthy to be seated right here. We fail our country. If we don't debate this . . . we are not worthy of our country."

"I don't even want to have to offer and opinion to anyone, whether to purchase brown shoes or black shoes." she said. "Just give me safe, no pressure work."

Reports coming into The Garlic say this scene was repeated in cities across the country.

In San Francisco, so many applicants swarmed to a Payless Shoe Store that police were called in, to control the crowd and reroute traffic.

Crowd control also became a problem in other cities, including New York, Chicago, Denver and Atlanta, as street vendors moved from their standard locations to the spots in front of Payless Shoe Stores, creating tensions and some fistfights as people left the line to purchase everything from food, water, and hot cocoa, to mittens and scarves.

After the Payless Shoe Store announced they were out of applications, the crowd went wild, breaking windows and store displays, before ransacking it and starting small fires.

A spokesperson in Senator Hagel's office indicated the Senator was "unaware" of the stampede to Payless Shoe Stores, and urged citizens to act "responsibly".

With Hagel contemplating a possible entry into the 2008 Presidential Race, the spokesperson offered no comment if the Hagel Campaign will seek support from Payless, as well as the shoe industry.Payless ShoeSource was founded in 1956 in Topeka, Kansas and generated over $2.7 billion in net sales in 2005, selling more than 182 million pairs of shoes. The company operates stores in all 50 U.S. states, plus Puerto Rico, Guam, Saipan, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Canada, Central America, the Caribbean, South America, and opened its first test store in Japan in November, 2004.

Rep. Tancredo Weighs In With Threats

With the Payless Shoe Store in his territory one of the locations experiencing being overrun today, Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO) became irate, lashing out at Hagel and the Payless Shoe Corporation.

"I hope they have proper security at these stores," snorted Tancredo. "I better not find they're looking to go with cheap labor and are hiring illegal aliens. I plan on calling on the Attorney General to send teams of U.S. Marshalls to these stores to verify there isn't any undocumented workers there."

Tancredo indicated that, until the U.S. Marshalls arrive, the Arizona Minutemen promised to monitor the Payless Shoe Stores.

"As to Senator Hagel," continued an angry Tancredo, "I hope he isn't planning to launch a "Shoe Caucus" over there. We already have too many caucuses, with the Blacks and the Latinos. If he starts one, you can bet dollars-to-donuts that I'll add that to my list to abolish."

Hunt, a former CIA agent, headed up President Richard Nixon's infamous "White House Plumbers", the group of Cuban exiles who Hunt recruited to break into the the Watergate Hotel back in June 1972, where the offices of the Democratic National Headquarters were located. Their subsequent arrest, with information, such as telephone number and address books, led investigators back to Nixon's Committee To Reelect The President (ironically referred to as CREEP) and kicked off what soon became known as the Watergate Scandal.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Power comes from lying ... Lying big and getting the whole damn world to play along with you ... Once you got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain't true, you get them by the balls

With the history of having the first woman Speaker of the House sitting behind him, and boy, did he milk that. I half expected Ralph Edwards to stroll out to the well of the floor and begin a "This Is Your Life". You have to think that, if not then, at some point during the speech, Nancy Pelosi must have had the twisted thought of reaching over and giving Bush a bop on the head with that giant gavel. Just to shake him up, reminding him to cut the bullshit, that he can't pull that off any longer.Lame Duck?

That's much too generous. Bush appeared less a Lame Duck last night and more, to touch upon his baseball roots, the journeyman utility fielder, tossed into a lopsided losing game to pitch the last two innings so as to save, and not waste, the real pitchers.

He swatted away at the edges of what will be "his" domestic agenda and a call for bipartisanship. But when you've screwed up and lost a war, and you have poll numbers below 30%, you're not going to have an agenda beyond CYA. The Democratic Congress will, as James Webb said last evening in his Democratic Response, "show him the way".

The audience of Congress, and other invited guests, must have operated under SAG rules, offering a set number of applause and engaging in standing ovations so wearily, as if someone was going to steal their seats if they stood up.

He Really Likes These People

Once again, Bush trudged out those poor, tired 12-million Iraqi voters. They must have leg cramps and dehydration for all the times he keeps running them out to attempt to sell his vision.

I would speculate that those poor, tired 12-million Iraqis voted, not for some 5th-Grade Civics class film on Democracy, but for having things like electricity for the whole day, someone to pick up the garbage before it rots and spreads disease, to have schools to send their children to - safely, to be able to walk down to the market for fresh fruits and vegetables and walk home with both legs and arms.

But they have the "Decider" on their side and such tranquility must be longed for, with sacrifice, if you want to buy into the whole "democracy" thing.

Yeah, they elected a government and it's a horserace as to which one is more inept - there's or ours.

Bush keeps reading the 'Democracy" script, and Maliki is on-board with having a Unity Government, just as long as it is a Shiite Unity Government and he can use the death squads to wipe out, or drive out, the Sunnis.

"I respect you and the arguments you've made. We went into this largely united -- in our assumptions and in our convictions. And whatever you voted for, you did not vote for failure. Our country is pursuing a new strategy in Iraq, and I ask you to give it a chance to work."

United ...In our assumptions?

We weren't "united" and there weren't any "assumptions" beyond how wrong going into Iraq would be.

"A second task we can take on together is to design and establish a volunteer Civilian Reserve Corps. Such a corps would function much like our military reserve. It would ease the burden on the Armed Forces by allowing us to hire civilians with critical skills to serve on missions abroad when America needs them. And it would give people across America who do not wear the uniform a chance to serve in the defining struggle of our time."

Is Bush calling on the continued privatization of the military, or, is he looking to create his own, private storm troopers?.

"...Hire civilians with critical skills to serve on missions abroad when America needs them ..."

We're not talking about having civilians fill in for the National Guard, which will continue to be hijacked and thrown on the front lines.

This isn't a civilian brigade to fill sandbags, clear trash or direct traffic at disaster sites. Bush wants to give them uniforms and guns and send them out, we assume, to spread the seeds of democracy.

Bush talked about the "nightmare scenario" that would befall us if we don't support his troop escalation and gain "victory" in Iraq.

It's time we also start looking at the "nightmare scenario" if we continue to allow this president to wage war, whether it's a build-up in Iraq, or he heeds the call from the shrinking chorus of neocons and starts carpet-bombing Iran. All the while, giving lip service to the true War On Terror.

Oh yeah, one last thing.

What were the two words that never passed the lips of our Chief Executive last evening?

While it is a constitutional requirement that the "[The President] shall from time to time give to Congress information of the State of the Union and recommend to their Consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient." (Article II, Section 3)", it doesn't mandate that he deliver it in-person.

Tonight, our Court-Appointed President might as well mail (or e-mail) it in, for the canopy of the 24+-hours before says a whole lot more on the state of our union than anything (short of retracting his "New Way Forward" and admitting he lied to launch his occupation of Iraq) he can spew out to what will be a less-than enthusiastic audience then he's been used to at these things.

Here's the backdrop in which our "Decider" will strut into the House of Representatives this evening.

This morning, during the opening arguments of the I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby trial, Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald laid out a devastating charge that Libby was acting on the orders of Vice President Dick Cheney in bouncing around Washington, telling all who would listen on who administration-critic and former Ambassador Joe Wilson's wife was. And that Libby destroyed a memo given to him by Cheney on just what to say to a reporter to lay out the smear-and-destroy job they were launching on the Wilson's.

With Olbermann, to stand up, waving their arms as if to say "Look over here" was Richard Clarke, the former top counter-terrorism adviser to presidents of both parties, and author of the new techno thriller “Break Point.”

It was brutal.

When asked by Olbermann on where was the N.I.E. Report, Clarke offered "They haven‘t written it ... It‘s in draft. It‘s in pieces." Then, with the timing of Max Roach on the back beat, he added "The reason is this administration doesn‘t base its actions on intelligence."OLBERMANN: The administration has been accused in many quarters, especially this one, of playing politics with intelligence. Would it go so far—you worked with these people; you know some of them. Would it so far to really sit on a NIE and not assemble it for purely political reasons?

CLARKE: Well, they can delay it. The fact that they have said there‘s one being prepared means ultimately they have to produce it. And given the fact that they did try to influence the last important one on Iraq, WMD one, and there have been investigations after that, trying to figure out how much they influenced it, and they influenced it a lot. They‘re limited in what they can do to influence this one. Especially now that they have increasingly real intelligence analysts, real intelligence professionals in some of these jobs.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Apologies for the lack of posts the past few days. Once again, this writer is battling (for the second time in a month) a major battle with his sinuses - and they have been winning. The bitter cold (below-zero wind chills) we've had here the past few days hasn't helped the situation.

I'm aiming to be back in form (or at least able to hold some thoughts for, at least, half-an-hour) in order to get some posts up tomorrow (Tuesday). Too much going on, with the State of the Union and, approaching the third anniversary of The Garlic, to be sitting on the sidelines.

Thanks again for visiting (and a special shout-out to my "Amelie" for calling) The Garlic.

Well, if our Garlic Poll Voters are any kind of indicators, you can bet that I. Lewis Libby is firmly behind President Bush escalating the occupation of Iraq. In fact, as you will see, he's hoping and praying for it, and that our Court-Appointed President peel off a team of JAGs to lend a hand to the Scooter.

Fix Iraq

About Me

J. Thomas Duffy created and lauched 'The Garlic in 2005.
Mr. Duffy is an accomplished writer, with experience as a newspaper reporter, radio writer, comedy and stand-up writer, the author of three children's books (unpublished, so far) and, and, through a good number of his writing experience, actually received payment for it.
Mr. Duffy is also a Contributing Editor on the blog, 'The Reaction' and a Contributing Writer to the blog 'The Moderate Voice.
In his spare time, Mr. Duffy likes to promulgate that is actually the dog salivating that caused Pavlov to ring the bell.