Saturday, January 30, 2010

Progressivenik Economic Bull Sh--

With all due apologies to my friends on the Religious Right, I have one final thing to say about Chairman Obama's State of Confusion Address, especially the parts where he fumbles his way through economic issues.

What a bunch of bull sh--.

Oh, I'm sorry. Was that too strongly worded ? Did I offend anyone ? Well, too bad. The truth has a funny way of stinging and leaving a mark.

Let's start with lie number one. Take it away, Presidente!

"One in ten Americans still cannot find work."

The actual number of America's unemployment is around 18% when you factor in the underemployed working part time or at jobs that are below their skill level. The 18% that Obama and his cronies ignore also includes the folks that said "screw it" and stopped looking for work all together. I know this little tidbit really bums out the base, but in the interest of honesty, our Dear Leader should have used this statistic. Either that, or the fact that the 99 weeks of unemployment compensation Uncle Sugar is handing out is also discouraging job seeking by making it way too easy to turn unemployment into funemployment. To be fair, I'm not going to even touch "And one year later, the worst of the storm has passed." That's just too damn easy, and I do operate with a code of honor.

Stay with me, people. Let's get those long boots on and wade through the B.S. to lie number two. Presidente ?

"They don't understand why it seems like bad behavior on Wall Street is rewarded, but hard work isn't;"

Don't get your hammer and sickle in a bunch, Dear Leader, we do get it. In fact, we're smarter than amoebas, regardless of what Bill Maher thinks. The real reason is clear: Wall Street gives piles of money to campaign coffers, including yours. Do I need to embarrass you and mention the fact that you have received over hundred thousand smackers from AIG ? Oops. I already did.

"So I know the anxieties that are out there right now."

Sure you do, O Master of Manure. You must have figured that out during your 24 thousand dollar date night with the Missus, or the 35 thousand dollar a week vacation at Martha's Vineyard. Oh, you didn't figure it out in either place ? Maybe you figured that out with all your many years laboring in the private sector ? Oh, yes,yes, I forgot. You've never had an actual job prior to your present gig. How out of touch of a statement is this ? This is almost as dumb as George Bush's "Mission Accomplished".

The next smelly pile, please.

"For these Americans, and so many others, change has not come fast enough."

Actually, it has and the American people have outright rejected it. I don't know if you're aware, Comrade President, but you and your cronies are on a losing streak. Last time I checked, your magic didn't help Creigh Deeds in Virginia, John Corzine in New Jersey, and it was certainly no help to Martha/Marcia in Massachusetts, either. The only reason New York 23 was lost was because Michael Steele dropped the ball and allowed that Dede Scuzzo-fava weirdo run as the Republican candidate. Yeah, "change" has arrived and us commoners have come to the conclusion that it sucks, pardon my language.

"One woman wrote to me and said 'We are strained but hopeful, struggling but encouraged.' "

Let me guess, the letter was signed: "Always and forever, Your Number One Fan, Ellie Light." According to Rasmussen, only 29% of those polled believe America is on the right track. I'd be hard pressed to call that a ringing endorsement.

Sigh. Next....

"To recover the rest, I've proposed a fee on the biggest banks."

It's not a fee, Baron Von Government, it's a tax. Now, I'll give credit where credit is due, our Beloved Chairman was right when he stated that the bank bailouts were as popular as a "root canal" (That lame joke would have been funnier if he said as "popular as an IRS audit" or "as popular as MSNBC". Now, that's how you make a joke.) However, in these tough times, how wise is it to screw with the banks ? Remember, these are the people who hand out loans to start up businesses, buy cars, houses, and fund plastic surgery. (Right, Madame Speaker ?) What your little populist punishment is going to do is slow the economy further. Instead of having cash on hand to fund the latest Wonderwidget project that will revolutionize some industry, the banks will be handing out cash to the bloated federal government. By the way, the banks aren't going to pay one wooden nickel of this "fee", the banks' customers will. There will be overdraft fees that will become outrageous, fees to speak to a teller, and God know what else. Way to stand up to those evil bankers, Chavez from Another Mother. Basically, Obama Hood is standing up for the folks by taxing them indirectly.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. The smell is really getting to get to me. Must remain conscious.....

"Now, let me repeat: We cut taxes."

Yeah, that 13 dollars a week is coming really handy.

Here we go. This is where I get chest pains. Brace yourselves, folks.

"Because of the steps we took, there are about 2 million Americans working right now who would otherwise be unemployed. Two hundred thousand work in construction and clean energy, 300 thousand are teachers and other education workers. [Like what, cafeteria ladies and creepy custodians ?] Tens of thousands are cops, firefighters, [and] first responders. And we're on track to add another one and half million jobs to this total by the end of this year. The plan that has made this possible is the Recovery Act. [AKA-The hated, failed stimulus package.]"

Peeyuuu! What is that smell ? The ultimate cowpie, that's what.

First of all, I want names and phone numbers of the "clean energy" workers. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AND OBAMA KNOWS IT! You'd have to theorize that one of their job requirements is feeding the unicorns or shining leperchaun gold. Seriously, I don't think people desperate for cash collecting cans for recycling is a job, do you ?

And another thing, and this is key here, what do cops, fire fighters, first responders, teachers and "other education workers" have in common ? They're all unionized government workers! They don't produce a profit! Now obviously, I don't have a beef with cops, fire fighters, or first responders. (Funny how I left off teachers and "other education workers". No, it's not a mistake, but it's another rant for another time.) But honestly, we need people who produce a profit. Who the hell is going to pay for all of this ? The very last thing we need is more government anything, especially government workers with bloated pensions. Now, if Fidelito had claimed he created 2 million private sector jobs, I'd be eating my words and changing my column's name to Absolutely NoGrahamnesty. (Hey! No funny ideas! I got dibs on that domain name.) However, Pol Pot Obama didn't do that, did he ?

I'm not going to bother to address the whole Cap and Trade thing since it's a belly up, rotting corpse in the Field of Dead Bills. But what are we to make of this:

" To make college more affordable, this bill will finally end the unwarranted taxpayer subsidies that go to banks for student loans. Instead, let's take that money and give families a $10,000 tax credit for four years of college and increase Pell Grants. And let's tell another 1 million students that when they graduate, they will be required to pay only 10 percent of their income on student loans, and all of their debt will be forgiven after 20 years -- and forgiven after 10 years if they choose a career in public service, because in the United States of America, no one should go broke because they chose to go to college."

Umm...Out of curiosity, does that mean I'm getting a check from Uncle Sugar ? After all, my school loans are paid for. And I paid for them all by lonesome like a big boy. Why can't the new "Entitled Generation" do the same ? The ugly part of this is: Not only is Barack Lenin growing government, he's actively recruiting for it! This isn't to recruit military officers (The military already has many programs like this, just ask the traitor Nidal Hassan who paid for his education.) this scam is to recruit even more useless bureaucrats who will do nothing to add society. Why should the American taxpayer be forced to pay for the education of their oppressors ? It reminds me of how the Nazis charged the wimpy French for the occupation of their country. (Yes, I'm being melodramatic. So sue me. Just kidding, ACLU.) Granted, the latest rounds of government "czars" need an education, but c'mon! We need people in the private sector! Yes, I said that before and I'll keep saying it until Ezekiel Emmanuel pulls the plug on me. We need people who produce profits, not people who produce regulations.