Hey Judds, if you're thinking of making a comeback, stop. Just stop. Sound advice from Trayla Park, lip-syncing super diva and just one of Steven Jay Crabtree's inner goddesses.

Once a month, Steven goes full diva on stage at Pocket Sandwich Theatre. It's totally unscripted and completely nuts. Well, maybe nuts is the wrong word. Come out and see Trayla Park and her feisty companions -- Warrior Woman, a mighty super here from another planet; Persephone Styx, an emphatic medium with her own TV show ("I see, like, dead people...); Stephanie Shapiro-Stein, the big-haired broad who's hard to please; Side Pony Tail Girl, who, like, really loves the Kardashians, okay?; and the star of the show, Martini Glass, liquor-lapping silent film star who will recreate film scenes just for you, Martini style. Tickets are only $12 (that's $2 per diva) with a one-item minimum. Do not miss it, darlings.

Kevin. Fucking. Nealon. Former SNL Weekend Update desk jockey and creator of Hans and Franz takes to the stage at the Addison Improv this Friday and Saturday. Because of who he is (did we mention it's Kevin fucking Nealon?), he's got eight different showtimes. But hurry cause tickets are going fast. Ticket prices range from $25-$35. 21+.

He's the whitest Jose out there, and he's bringing his pasty ass to the stage just for you. Come see Jose make light of being deported, joining the U.S. Air Force, and his mother's endearing ability to kill a rooster with her bare hands. Jose will be at Hyena's in Fort Worth this Friday and Saturday. Tickets are $10 with a two-item minimum.

The kings of improv tackle everything from a stack of Geico money to the Old Spice guy. No holding back. These guys have even reached the pinnacle of show business -- they performed for the president of the freaking U.S., Barack Obama, last year at the Democratic Caucus. And got a standing ovation. Damn. Shows are in Forth Worth at the Four Day Weekend Theater, Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. Tickets are $20. 18+ only.

If laughing and music aren't enough on their own, how about together? At Louie Louie's, come see the pros tickle the ivory and bust a gut. Things get crazy when all three pianos are going, which is often. Prices range from $10-$30, and their Facebook page lists "Drinks" under their specialties. Awesome. Shows are every night except Sundays, because our livers need a day of rest.