One of the hardest things to do in life and business, is to stand outside yourself and really see what you’re doing, what you’re thinking, and ultimately, how you’re showing up in the world. And one of the times when we probably need to do that the most, is when things seem to be go along merrily, and then suddenly something happens to throw us for a loop, and stop us in our tracks.

You know the kind of situation I’m talking about. The one where you’re all fired up and ready to invest in that program; the one where you finally get to meet that ‘until now’ elusive person who’s perfectly positioned to help you on your way; the one where you’re given the ideal opportunity to shine and show others what you can do.

Then suddenly, …….bam!

Stuff happens.

You get an unexpected bill, or something comes up that forces you to cancel your meeting, or worse still, you get sick and have to retire to your bed.

All activity ceases.

You can’t move forward with that programme because you no longer have the funds to invest in it.

You won’t be able to take up that opportunity for joint working that the meeting promised because you can’t get there.

And you can’t make that presentation because you’re so ill.

So what’s that about?

Why you?
Why this?
Why now?

Think back. Think back to what was happening before the brakes went on.

Did it feel as though things were going too well?
Maybe moving a bit too fast?
Was it taking you way outside your comfort zone?

Don’t get me wrong, the prospect of creating the success that you’ve longed for is definitely and exciting and desirable one that you’ve spent much time and energy focussed on.

But often, we haven’t fully thought through the implications of that success, and when things start to happen – good things, things that bring the reality of that success a little closer to home, it can often cause us to stop in our tracks, energetically speaking.

All sorts of things start to come up.

What if we followed that programme and really started to step up in our business or or jobs? Who would we become? Would we behave differently? Would it cause our loved ones to see us differently? What would that mean for the future? What price am I willing to pay for it?

The interesting thing about these questions is that we seldom ask them consciously. They’re just a feeling that we manage to transmute into obstacles that we put in our own way, causing us to halt our progress once again.

So the next time you seem to be running the stop/ go pattern in your life or your business, try asking yourself those questions out loud. You may come up with some amazingly insightful answers.

The Circle of One is a personal development tool based on the idea that everyone and everything around you reflects a facet of you. If you’d like to learn more about how you can stand outside yourself and see how you’re showing up in the world, click here for your free extract from The Circle of One: How to Heal Your Relationships and Live Your Truth

I’m always struck by the absolute sense of power and purpose that children show when left to their own devices. Somewhere deep down, they seem to know that the Universe revolves around them, despite anything that adults might tell them. Let me give you an example.

The other day, after insisting that she needed to come with me to “keep my company”, my eight year old daughter somehow managed to gate-crash my pit-stop visit to the supermarket.

Marching purposefully up to the automatic doors, I heard her command “Open Sesame” as she walked up to, and strode briskly through, the parting doors.

For just a moment, I was stunned. The ease, confidence and expectation with which she commanded those doors taught me a valuable lesson.

Yes, the doors were automatic, but that wasn’t the point. She expected the doors to be opened for her, and they were. She knew that if she did her bit, the doors would do theirs. She knew that if she asked, it would be given. That kind of belief in the Universe is what we all need for manifestation at its best.

So the next time you’re on your way to Sainsbury’s, remember: “Open Sesame!”. It could change your life!

This week, I’m making two appearances in honour of International Women’s Week.
In the true spirit of the occasion, I’ll be celebrating the strength of women with the talk, Women: Reclaiming Our Power and Living Our Truth at Waterstone’s Bookstore in the Whitgift Centre, Croydon on Thursday 10th March at 6-7.30pm.
I’ll also be signing copies of my book, The Circle of One. If you’re doing a little late night shopping, or even if you’re not, why not come in and join me. I’d be glad to see you there. Call the store on 020 8686 7032 for more information.

My second appearance this week will be at the Women Celebrating Women networking event at The Jury’s Inn Hotel Croydon on Friday 11th March at 10am- 9pm. The day is designed for women (and men) to recognise, encourage and learn from each other. There’ll be seminars, networking opportunities and a chance to meet me and find out more about how the work I do can help you to step into your power. For more information, click here.

That’s what my eldest son said to me last weekend when he brought round a DVD of ‘Inception’ for us to watch.

If you haven’t seen it , it’s about the efforts of ‘Cobb’ (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) and his team, to fulfil a contract to plant an idea into the mind of a ‘mark’ while he’s dreaming, as an act of industrial espionage. The film jumps from scene to scene, constantly switching from the dream, to the dream within a dream, and the one within that; leaving the viewer to work out what is or is not ‘real’. It’s the kind of film that I love, not least because it makes me think. And boy did I have to think!

So what is a dream anyway? How can we be sure when we’re dreaming and when we’re not? How do we know what’s real and what’s not? What exactly is reality? And while we’re at it, what is truth? And what makes your version any more real than mine?

All very good questions, I know, but I couldn’t come up with a definitive answer to any of them. But what it made think of was something that had come up in ‘The Circle of One’.

Even in our waking lives, when we are telling our ‘story’ based on the many dramas that we’ve created, and we are living our illusion based on that story, it’s hard to tell the difference. We distort our reality, sometimes to the extent that we don’t always know what is real and what is not. “What we see are distortions of what we think our reality is, or how we believe it ought to be. Our perception of ourselves is only that; a perception created by us; an accumulation of other distortions and delusions..” And that, is how we live our lives. Never completely sure about what is reality and what is illusion, but steadfastly clinging to the version that makes us feel safe.

But just think for a moment, what it could mean if we adopted the idea that “none of this is real”? Think of how much more open we could be to re-creating a reality that was more in line with helping us to remember who we really are, and a truth that sets us free from the illusion.

When we choose to live our personal truth, and are ready to ask the difficult questions, we are ready to let go of our story and embrace a new reality. We are freed to pursue our spiritual expansion and to experience the love and joy that are a part of expressing who we really are.

Whether time, money, attention, a compliment or a smile – I just love it. And no, it’s not because I’m some ‘goody-two-shoes’. That couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s because ultimately, I’m as selfish as the next person, and giving is a selfish act.

Knowing that I’ve made someone feel as if they mattered, makes me feel good. Knowing that in some small way, I’ve made a difference to their day, gives me a real buzz. Knowing that a word, a deed, a small act of kindness could be just the thing that changes their perspective and possibly their lives is a real blessing.

Magically, when I give from the heart, the Universe always conspires to take my gifts, multiply them by ten and send them back to me. And for that, I am extremely grateful.

So with that in mind, I can tell you that today I have a gift for you. Last year I wrote and published The Circle of One: How to Heal Your Relationships and Live Your Truth, and today I’d like to share a free extract from the book with you. I believe it has the power to touch and change your life.

Sign up in the box on the right to get your copy. If it speaks to you, then share the power of giving.