hua hin, THAILAND
Irrigation officials from Prachuap Kiri Khan have reported this week
that due to the severe drought currently experienced in the province, the
reservoirs here are now at only 30 percent of their capacity.
Six districts in the province, namely Muang, Pranburi, Hua Hin, Sam Roi
Yot, Kuiburi and Bang Saphan Noi have been declared drought disaster
zones for the third consecutive year.
All of the six reservoirs in the province are averaging about 30 percent of
their capacity.
The situation is critical at Pranburi Dam where there are about 86 million
cubic metres of water left in the reservoir, which is about 24 percent of it’s
full capacity. Normally, the reservoir holds about 347 million cubic metres
of water. Apparently this is enough for household usage but not enough for
agriculture and industry.
The local population and farmers in the province are being strongly advised
to try and minimise their water use and use water more efficiently until
such times as the reservoirs have more water in them.
The last week has seen promising signs of rain but much more is needed,
while unconfirmed reports suggest that the water infrastructure of Hua
Hin is being worked on to improve both the supply and volume of water
available, with extra pipelines from the north, west and south either
already online or coming soon.
Hopefully the efforts succeed, as this is a key area that hampers both the
image and related prosperity of the area. In the meantime we should all
pray for rain...

16 rooms with aircon/fan from
400 to 700 baht a night
FREE PREMIUM WIFI
LED TVs with DVD/Cable
Breakfast from 7.30am
including fresh croissants!
Open 24/7 with 24hr security
032 511564 or 089 914 2168
victorguesthouse@gmail.com

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AWOL PAGE 3

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AWOL with
Waipo

Sometimes contradictory,
bewildering, revolutionary
and hypocritical,
Red-Light Nights,
Bangkok Daze
is a collection of articles on
the complex and fascinating
world of sex in Asia.

Photos courtesy of
www.pacificbeauty.tv

About the Author
William Sparrow is a
journalist based in Asia.
He has worked as a
contributor and editor
for Asia Times Online,
and is the editor of
AsianSexGazette.com.
The book is available online
or at local bookstores
(such as Bookazine â&#x20AC;&#x201C;
above McDonaldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on
Damnoernkasem Road).

Rules: Please collect your passport at
TK Road House. Get 14 stamps (2 from each
bar) and have a chance to win a
www.tickettothemoonthailand.com Hammock
advertise here from
only 58 baht a week
Contact 081 649 8361

usa ‘Hashpoint’ dispenser allows
users to pick up cannabis 24 hours
a day
It’s every stoner’s dream – a marijuana
vending machine, preferably placed
right next to another one dispensing
crisps and chocolate bars.
But this ‘Autospense’ machine lets
registered users of the drug pick up
their prescriptions, 24 hours a day.
Sixteen US states – as well as
Washington DC – allow patients
with certain medical conditions to
buy small quantities of cannabis.
Hundreds of dispensaries have
popped up across the country, but
now a US firm has decided to cut out
the middle man.
Customers get PINs and cards to
access to the Autospense, which
offers a host of pot menu options.
But The Dispensary Group, which

makes the machines, doesn’t let just
anyone use them.
The machines are put behind
cages that need a registration
card to get past, while fingerprint
authentication, CCTV and locks
provide extra security.
The company said the machines
‘introduce a higher standard of
efficiency to a market known for
being chaotic, poorly managed
and counter culture’. It charges
up to £1,235 a month to lease the
machines.
Legalising medical marijuana has
become increasingly popular in the
US since California started the trend
in 1996.
MADRID, SPAIN Man in Madrid
survives being struck by lightning in
the scrotum

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A 53-year-old man has survived
being struck by lightning in the
scrotum while walking down a
street in Madrid.
According to Spain’s El Mondo
newspaper, the unnamed man lost
consciousness after being struck by
lightning in the groin on Thursday
night, with the bolt travelling down
his leg and striking the ground.
His son called paramedics who later
treated him for burns to the scrotum
and feet at the scene in Madrid’s
suburb Tres Cantos.
He was then taken to Madrid’s
Hospital de la Paz where tests
showed his heart and brain functions
were not affected by the lightning
strike.
The man is said to be in a stable
condition in hospital.

Do you wonder why we say certain things, or what they really mean? Each week we will examine a different
word or phrase and tell you how it came about.
other”. (see also Vis-à-vis)
This week it is... In the box-seat
The use of ‘in the box-seat’ to describe someone in a
In a superior or advantageous position.
This doesn’t relate to boxes at the theatre, or even to favourable situation began in the mid 19th century.
seats made of boxwood. The box-seat was literally a box
which was used as a seat for the driver on coaches. These
Is there an English phrase or saying that
were set at quite a height in order for the coachman to
you would like to know more about?
be able to see beyond the one or two pairs of horses
Email it to us on
that drew the coach. It isn’t difficult to imagine how
submissions@awolonline.net
‘in the box-seat’ took on its figurative ‘advantageous’
meaning. This English phrase has the same meaning as
the American ‘in the catbird seat’ and, although the US
version was coined later, there’s no reason to suspect
that it was derived from the earlier phrase.
The first reference I can find to box-seats is in an
advertisement from The Times, June 1804:
“To be Sold, A LANDAU, little the worse for wear, with
a barouche box seat.”
Barouche is the name of a carriage with such a seat “A four-wheeled carriage having a seat in front for the
driver, and seats inside for two couples to sit facing each

Send your jokes
to submissions@
awolonline.net and get
your name in print!
Brought to you by
The Railway Tavern

alaska
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore
they would never have anything to do with women again.
They were best friends and they decided to move up to
Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at
a woman again.
They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told
him, “Give us enough supplies to last two men for one
year.” The trader got the gear together and on top of
each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with
fur around the hole. The guys said “What’s that board
for?”
The trader said, “Well, where you’re going there are no
women and you might need this.”
They said “No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!”
The trader said,” Well. take the boards with you, and
if you don’t use themI’ll refund your money next year.
“Okay,” they said and left.
Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said
“Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year.”
The trader said, “Weren’t you in here last year with a

Railway
Tavern

PUB & CAFE
HUA HIN SOI 88
085 429 0378

Motorbikes for Rent

Daily, weekly or long term
partner?”
“Yeah” said the guy.
“Where is he?” asked the trader.
“I shot him” said the guy.
“Why?”
“I caught him in bed with my board.”
groaner
A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for
a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has
been stolen.
The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman.
The foreman grins at the bear and says “Oh, I forgot to
tell you, today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick
nicked.”

s&S

Soi 94
Indian restaurant
Curries from only 75 baht

Eat in or Takeaway 081 455 5298
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
You will become an inspiration
to thousands of teens when
your tragic tale of sexual profligacy and
rampant drug abuse is turned into the
coolest PSA of all time.
Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18
While it’s true that 2012 is
your year, that just means
you’re responsible for its upkeep and
maintenance, so you’d really better get
going on that.
Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20
Your inner beauty makes you shine
with the light of a thousand stars,
which is appropriate, as in broad daylight
you’re actually not that impressive.
Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20
You will experience unbounded
happiness and success in every
area of your life this week, unless of
course there is something fundamentally
and irreversibly wrong with you.

Taurus Apr 21 – May 21
Your life story will bring muchneeded happiness and laughter
to the world, especially the hilarious
ending.
Gemini May 22 – June 21
Sadly, there is nothing in this
world that can ever bring back
your dead loved ones. Happily, most
things in the world can be used to send
your hated ones away.
Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22
Your life will seem boring and
empty until you discover what that
otherwise useless other gender is
actually for.
Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22
It’s a mixed week for you regarding
personal triumphs. You will win a
longstanding argument with an obstinate
Pisces, but lose your long-running battle
with Cancer.

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Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22
Little do you know but the powers
that be are far from indifferent to
your cries of suffering and pleas for help.
They think they’re downright sickening.
Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23
You will wake from the best sleep
of your life to find that you’ve
been catapulted through the windshield
by the force of the airbag deploying.
Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21
The stars indicate that tomorrow
will be a good day to die a noble
death in the service of humanity.
Unfortunately, they have bad news for
you about this afternoon.
Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21
Sometimes people don’t say what
they really mean. For instance,
they may say the words “big fat stupid
asshole” when they really mean “big
dumb jerkasaurus.”

YOUR 8 DAYs A WEEK GUIDE
TO LOCAL EVENTS.
If you want your performance
featured here on Hua Hin Live,
send your information to:
huahinlive@awolonline.net or
submit your event to our new
events page on www.awolonline.
net
Don’t Miss This Week
No events notified for this week.
Upcoming
Honda Summer Fest - usually takes
place in May on the beach near Khao
Takiab but no details have been
made public yet.
Santorini Park Cha-Am GTH Fun
Face - Saturday 2nd June 4pm to
midnight. Concert featuring Suck
Seed, Paradox, Jetset’er and a
number of other Thai celebrities and
performers at the recently opened
shopping and funfair complex
north of Cha-Am. Tickets 249 baht
available at Thai Ticket Major.
Hua Hin Jazz Festival - still no
concrete information on this but
the Tourist Authority of Thailand in
Prachuap Kiri Khan say that it ‘might
be the second weekend in June’. No
information whatsoever as to who
might be playing.
12

Ongoing
Latin Dance Classes at the Vic Hua
Hin. Cha-cha-cha, Salsa or Jive:
Teacher San Pho On, South East
Asia Champion and Asia Pacific
Champion in Latin Dance, is very
happy to welcome expats every
Friday at 5pm. Just 300 Baht, no
reservation necessary. Contact
Chris: marketing@vichuahin.com.
Souay Vista Social Club; Mondays
and Wednesdays: Eddi and the
Gangbusters.
Tuesdays: blues jam session.

SELL IT FAST! RENT IT
EASILY! FIND IT QUICK!
THE BEST PLACE TO BUY
AND SELL.

your ad here from
only 58 baht a week
Contact 081 649 8361

PLEASE LET US KNOW VIA EMAIL IF YOUR CLASSIFIED OR ONE YOU HAVE ENQUIRED ABOUT IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE.
THANK YOU. CONTACT classifieds@awolonline.net
Business

General

wanted: furniture, appliances and more for
a new guesthouse. We require a drinks fridge, chairs,
tables, pool table and any relevant accessories. Please
call 081 817 3000 or 087 155 6115.
SHOP FOR RENT, Naresdamri Road, (Hilton Hotel Road)
on the front by the seafood restaurants. Good location for
shop or coffee shop etc; No key money, Rent B 22,000
per month. Tel 089 8248173.
wanted guesthouse/hotel within 400m of
beach near central Hua Hin. Call 081 817 3000
Established restaurant business for sale.
32 covers, in 3-storey building on canal road. Large living
quarters on two floors above restaurant.. Everything
included in asking price of 500,000 baht (negotiable).
One year remaining on lease, easily renewable. Rent
15,000 baht/ month. Please call 088 455 7812 or email
tangw_22@hotmail.com for information or viewing.

Employment

14

guesthouse requires staff - maid, daytime
and nighttime staff and security guard. Please call 081
817 3000 or 087 155 6115
Executive Housekeeper. Looking for a
Female Thai National with at least 3 years experience
in 5 star hotel as Executive / Asst. Exec Housekeeper,
must be fluent in English, for a New venture in Hua Hin.
Excellent package on offer to the right candidate. Please
send your C.V to: ronan.mccarthy@exiles.ae
cook required for guesthouse. Please contact at
All Nations or call 081 817 3000.
Bar Staff Required The Phoenix bar Hua Hin
require Bar Staff to start now. Please call May on 086
169 1002
Cooks and Service Staff Positions available
at CasaBlanca. Restaurant opening just before the
Intercontinental Hotel, Phetkasem rd. Please apply in
person late afternoons.
Staff wanted Female waitress staff wanted
full training given; MUST HAVE A BRAIN!! Email info@
buffalobillshuahin.com or call 080 727 4710
cook wanted for busy guesthouse/restaurant/bar
in Khao Takiab catering for Thais and foreigners. Ability
to cook western food and speak some English preferred
but a good attitude and willingness to learn is enough.
Good pay and conditions for the right person. Please
contact 087 599 1912 if you are interested.

Motoring - 3 wheels & LESS
Honda Elite Sk50 Dio Runs good, looks good and
is a lot of fun for this 65yr old to ride.Located in HuaHin.
No license plate or tax stickers required. Although this
motor scooter is 50cc, I keep up with my friends on their
125cc’s no problem. Complete service manual available
on the internet. 8500 bt obo. *Please Note: No offer will
be considered unless you brought the money with you
and are prepared to buy if the offer is accepted.Thank
you. Contact 083 850 3647 or gilbertglenn@hotmail.
com

Placing a classified
advert with AWOL

Option 1
register or log in at
www.awolonline.net/classifieds
and place your advert there;
Option 2
email to classifieds@awolonline.net;
Option 3
write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on
paper and deliver to staff at
All Nations Hua Hin, Dechanuchit Road.
The deadline for guaranteed inclusion in that
week’s issue is 6pm on Tuesday.
All adverts are free except adverts for Property
For Rent or Sale, Business or Services.
Free ads will be included for at least four
weeks automatically. Please use our online
Classifieds to enhance your chances of a
successful ad.
Paid ads are charged at the following rates:
Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 13 issues (3
months)
Additional words charged at 20 baht per word
for 13 issues.
Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10
x 20)=700 baht for 13 issues.
Please note that paid ads placed online can
have up to 1000 words and up to 8 images
depending on which plan is selected.
Contact classifieds@awolonline.net for
further information or to place an advert.
Property and Business for sale or rent can also
be featured on a commission basis - contact
property@awolonline.net, or go to www.
awolonline.net/property for more details.

Wanted
Bagpipe player wanted for Scottish wedding
reception to be held in Hua Hin in early June. Contact
Bill on 081 018 0558 for more details.
Looking for tennis partner - medium/average
level- 1 or 2 times/week. Call Robert 0866097470
golf trousers wanted If anyone can help I’m
after the best place for buying golf trousers both for
price and quality thanks all. hanslowneil@yahoo.co.uk
WANTED WEIGHTLIFTING EQUIPMENT for home
use: Tel. 080 859 8349 Thai or English

VERY NICE LAND for sale. 2 rai of land, 3 kms from
Black Mountain. Near Sunny Valley project. Has water
and electric. Land is split into 4 half rai plots and price is
300,000 per plot. A 5 year old fully paid up company can
be purchased with the land. Please call 089 586 1700
LARGE HOUSE Nice style. Located on a quiet street
in the village of Takiab minutes from the beach. 5
bedrooms, 2 living rooms, 4 washrooms, 2 car parking.
Partly furnished. 7 million baht. Call: 084 614 7685
CHA AM LAND sale - 19 rai. Located just off km 17
on the Cha Am-Pranburi bypass hwy in Ban Chang
Thaeng Krachat, near Silpakorn University. Has water
and electric. Offered for sale at 450,000 baht per RAI.
For additional info e-mail netcafe.on94@hotmail.com
or call khun Wan at 085 911 1378.

property for Rent
Beautiful 3 Bed - 2 Bath Villa For Rent - Hua
Hin. Sleeps 6. Located in a very private small housing
development. Fully decorated with attention to detail.
All bedrooms have queen size beds and wardrobes.
Kitchen fully fitted to western standards. Spacious living
room has 2 comfortable sofas, armchair, coffee table,
TV, DVD, Stereo, and large French doors opening up to
the balcony, garden and swimming pool. Available by
day, week or month. Less than 7 days: 2,000 Baht/Day
One Week: 8,000 Baht Two Weeks : 14,000 Baht Three
Weeks: 18,000 Baht One-Three Months: 20,000 Baht/
month. Contact Craig Chapman Phone: 12503082355
Condo for rent at Taweeporn Condotel Resort.
28sq mtre condo for long term rent at Taweeporn
condotel just behind kings hospital near soi 10. Beautiful
perfectly maintained gardens, 25mtre swimming pool,
bar, restaurant, fully equipped gymnasium. 10,000 baht
per month or if condo is rented for 6 months or more
with payment up front , owner will take 9,000 baht per
month, Email property@awolonline.net to arrange a
viewing or call 081 649 8361
Looking for someone to share the rental house.
There is one moderate room with air con. and private
bathroom. The location is in Tippawan 4, Samor Prong.
Preferably female. For your part, I expect you to pay
Bht.6,000 per month including electricity and water.
Drop in to see the house phone 085 805 1592.
brand new house 5kms from Hua Hin centre Spanish style, fully furnished, Summerland residence.
2 bedrooms with air, 2 baths, European kitchen, living
room, cable tv, lcd tv, internet, private swimming pool,
security, available by weekend, week, month or long
term. franckphuket@hotmail.com

Property wanted
POOL VILLA RENTAL English couple in Hua Hin at
the moment until the end of May. We are looking for a
pool villa rental for one month from the end of June and
also for one month from the end of August. Would like
Western kitchen & UBC connection. Please contact me
via email at piejool@yahoo.co.uk.
Looking for home and small amount of property
in the Hua Hin, Khao Takiab Area. Seeking a shell of a
house (Thai or Falang style) that I can rebuild into a
nice modern home. I am a degreed Industrial Engineer
and am willing to rebuild the house from roof to septic
system. I desire to buy or lease (ten to fifteen years). The
house can be in any condition within the Khao Takiab
area and can revert back to the property owner at the
end of the long lease. The house/ property must have
enough room to have or be able to build a two stall
garage and workshop with storeroom. One or two floors
maximum. Please contact me: ballardmartin@yahoo.
com or telephone 08 4757 1483
Long Term Rental - 10,000 B or less. I live in
Thailand 8 months each year. I have been in Thailand
for 8 years. My Thai partner works at the Hilton. Excellent
tenants who really care for property. If we can find the
right spot, we will be VERY long term. Contact Robert
087 276 6545. Email skippero@aol.com

15

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Only 5 minutes from Hua Hin centre

flexible design
Plans made to your request
at no extra cost
finance available
Up to 50% - repayments
based on a fixed 5%
quality build
European standards;
construction by our own
team with total project
management

Ref No.: 03252
1 Bed 72 sqm. from 3.5m baht
2 Bed 112 sqm. from 6m baht Call/ email for details
Location! Location! Location!
3 different styled homes, which have
been designed to suit your lifestyle.
All these fantastic homes come with
or without a pool, large covered
terraces and share communal
clubhouse. This development is built
on a 44,800 sqm of land divided into
69 different sized plots giving you a
choice most suitable to the house,
garden or swimming pool you opt for. Lot areas: 320 to 600

Ref No. 03253
Call/ email for details

sqm, or more as desired
Only 2 minutes from
central Hua Hin

large garden villa
A family villa featuring a beautiful
large landscaped garden and
outside cooking facilities. Inside
a European kitchen with all white
goods including washing machine
and cooker/oven. The property
comes completely furnished, with
private dining and a garage, ready
to move in. Freehold and chanote
title, two water supplies. Full
3 bed/ 3 bath (2 Ensuite)
satellite service free.

Ref No. 03255
Call/ email for details

Land size 800+ sqm
Living area 200sqm

lovely villa with pool for sale or rent
This villa on a good sized plot
is well equipped and furnished;
all bedrooms have fitted mirror
wardrobes with 1 King and 2 Queen
size beds. Living and dining rooms
with large sofa, dining table and 6
chairs, tv and cabinet, European
kitchen with all white goods
including washing machine and
3 bed/ 3 bath (2 Ensuite)
cooker/oven. Landscaped garden
Land size 530sqm
and swimming pool 8x4.
Living space 212sqm

Large house and land 5 minutes from Hua Hin
Beautiful two storey house and
maid/guest house on large plot
with a unique 15 metre swimming
pool in an enclosed secured area,
which includes lighted driveway
only 5 minutes from Hua Hin
centre with mountain views and
5/10 minutes from Asiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s finest
golf clubs. Sale due to relocation.

4 bedrooms
Separate 1 bedroom house
Land size 3000 sqm

Ref No. 032513
Call/ email for details

stunning borfai bungalow
New L shaped bungalow in Bor
Fai, on huge corner plot, All
bedrooms have ensuite bathrooms
and overlook patios. Open plan
with bright, spacious rooms. Full
European kitchen with island.
Outdoor Thai kitchen. All cabinetry
is teak with granite countertops.
Large teak /granite bar adjoining
the lounge. Must view.
3 Bed 4 Bath

Ref No.: HPA0321
Call/ email for details

Living: 430 sqm.
Land: 1311 sqm.

hillside breezes and stunning sunsets
This
development
features
properties with European style fitted
kitchen, a Private pool, Hot water
system, High-speed Internet, Fully
air-conditioned, 24 Hour Security.
The area is surrounded by mountains
with astonishing sunsets. The hillside area is on slightly higher land
which has blessed it with a steady
cool breeze coming from the sea. Â
3 bed /2 bath

Air conditioned throughout
Underground electricity

Ref No. 03257
Call/ email for details

17

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the awol
crossword
The solution is
on page 20.

This section
available for
sponsorship!
Contact 081 649 8361

Across
1 Dry out in specially heated container? (9)
6 It’s unbounded gluttony, eating up the Indian bread... (5)
9 ...eating greedily, having energy for nothing, to be truthful (9)
10 He’ll have a loaf around with two 3s (5)
11 Old soak’s knocked back litre of alcohol (6)
12 3 needs a room without high rent (8)
13 Sounds like specialised skill? Not at all (5)
14 Appearing nervous of spelling test, first and foremost? (9)
17 Quiet, brave chap has lots of dosh - that’s an attractant (9)
18 3 - the real one? (5)
20 Advise old Leo to make new plans? (8)
23 It’s funny in a way? On the contrary, 3’s transported by it (6)
25 Author’s ebb associated with Ecstasy? (5)
26 Note leaves create train chaos - delay results (9)
27 One used to hear about second ending of Heartbreak Ridge (5)
28 Nothing by English novelist mentioned colour (4,5)

Disclaimer

18

All articles are published in good faith and based on information
available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof’
stories intended as humour. No responsibility is accepted other than
that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has
been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot
guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of
the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.
All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this
publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the
previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part
be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means.
AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted
on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other
communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL
Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin,
Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.

gardening services available
Three days a week gardening service from
1500 baht per month for average size garden.
Lawnmowing, watering, trimming, weeding and all general
gardening. Special treatments or services on request.
We have our own equipment but please
supply your preferred fertilisers or chemicals.
Email rosegardenhuahin@gmail.com for more details
Free listing on the AWOL Directory

Sunday 20th MAY 2012
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL
Allianz Arena, Munich, Germany
Bayern Munich v Chelsea 01:45
This should be gripping stuff as Bayern have
home advantage which suits Chelsea - they will
be classed as underdogs for once and can play
a counter attacking game. Tough call as to the
final outcome but it will be tight; the Blues will
miss Terry (some might say a blessing in disguise)
and we think it will be the German side who will
triumph.

do we have a
wupert here?
london, england
The same journalists who mocked
England manager Roy Hodgson for his
speech impediment were weminded
today that many of them face pwosecution
and a vawiety of pwison scenawios, many
of which include bum-wape.
Wape is unfortunately vewy common in
pwison and has been depicted in many
films such as the Shawshank Wedemption
and Amewican History X – a particularly
wough one fwom behind that didn’t
weally need a weason, as if one needs to
wam the point home.
With Webekah Bwooks and Wupert
Murdoch still the subjects of an ongoing
cwiminal investigation, journalists
thwoughout the corporwation were
informed today that many pwisoners are
eagerly awaiting their awwival and had
alweady begun to gwease down their
wadiators in pwepawation.

News International journalists could face
wape and wetwibution in pwison, warns FA
Internathional dishing it out like thith
isth that nobody has weally forgiven
them for being fuckerth.”

Above:The Sun’s back page the day after the
new England manager was announced

Conditions inside Bwitish pwisons can
be especially bleak with two of thwee
sex-starved inmates often sharewing the
same cell.
Weginald Wiley, a extraordinawily wellhung multiple killer who suffers from
the same speech impediment as Roy
Hodgson said “The twouble with Newth

TALK OF
THE TOWN

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☆ ☆ ☆☆ ☆
☆
☆
☆
☆

☆ ☆☆ ☆

☆☆

☆ ☆ ☆☆

☆

Happy Hour until 6pm
24

Singha Export Chang
Tiger Leo 50 BAHT
Large shots standard

Sunday prize pool
All live football
competition
and Grand Prix
Brunswick
Wide music choice
pool table
Families welcome
Open ‘til late

“And I hate it when people mock my
impediment, though I’ve learnt to
channel my agwethion thwough wandom
acts of welentleth anuth-based thexual
violenth.”
“James Murdoch isth welcome to take a
shower with me anytime, just tho long as
he wememberth to bwing his own bar of
thoap.”
Although Roy Hodgson today laughed off
his treatment at the hands of the press,
he sounded a note of his concern for his
tormentors.
“When the scwews turn their backs, as
they are likely to do when watching he
Euwos, it could be vewy much a case of
bwing on the wapists.”