Thursday, March 24, 2011

A few weeks ago I noticed my brothers playing the latest Pokémon game. Black version. I find it incredible that after we minimized Gameboy game cartridges into SD cards, we blew up the size of their cases to compensate. I flipped through the booklet marveling at how walking helps your pokémon grow, how the "bad guys" are actually animal rights activists who believe it is wrong to engage in glorified cockfighting and "liberate" your pokémon by–yes–fighting you with their own pokémon. Oh yeah, and for like the fourth iteration, it's actually impossible to "Catch 'em all." Nothing like making a game that completely invalidates your own slogan. Classy.

I also noticed this little gem of bilingual, Canada-friendly logo:

Hell yeah. Pokémon Noire? I'd absolutely buy a new Gameboy to play a noir version of Pokémon. All gritty and black & white? Ash chain smoking for two hours, Brock as a seedy burlesque owner with a penchant for the waitresses who have a nasty habit of turning up dead? Misty the slinky nightclub singer? May (Mai?) as Ash's sexy but clumsy secretary (who you know he should really be with)? Pikachu's bloodstained outline on the floor?

My god, it'd be beautiful.

I was totally going to draw that myself, but it failed on so many levels so spectacularly.