10 Steps on the Winner’s Journey

Explain what you don’t want. Tap your frustrations for guidance. Everyone knows what they don’t want.

Move from negatives to positives. “I want to stop losing my temper.” Controlling your temper is stopping something, a “don’t want.”
Stopping or preventing helps but there’s more. A positive win could be asking two questions while maintaining low tones, for example.

The win in this example could be, “Harness anger.”

Define purpose. Why harness anger? What’s the real reason?

#3. Make winning a series of clear destinations, not a onetime event.

A journey is a series of destinations,
not simply wandering around.

#4. Win sooner than later, today is best. Win again tomorrow. Winners create a series of wins.

#5. Describe two behaviors that create today’s win. Avoid behaviors you’d like to do. Describe behaviors you can do.

#6. Identify counterproductive behaviors. Thursday I had a conversation about time management with my coach, Bob Hancox. I brought up email. Answering emails when they arrive is being managed by email. I’m turning off that dang dinger (negative) and scheduling “respond to email” times (positive).

#7. Build sustaining relationships. What relationships help you win? What hinder? Which relationships call for transformation? How? Seek sustaining relationships with trusted:

Clients. Yes, transform a trusted client into an ally.

Colleagues.

Family.

Employees. Show direct reports that personal development matters.

Coaches or mentors. I’ve found being and having a coach one of leadership’s most productive development activities.

Dan, you have a true gift. The list you just wrote has more content than many books.
My notes:
1 and 2. I find it much harder to be simple than complex. Clarity is even harder, requires feedback loops to know the message has passed.
3 and 4. Winning requires change. Your “series of destinations” is exactly what Kotter espouses. As Kurt Lewin wrote, each change requires “thaw, change, move”.
5 and 6. These 2 steps move the discussion from theoretical to practical. Christ was all about changing behaviors, as was the writer of the Proverbs. Theory without behavioral change is time-consuming, frustrating, even hypocritical.
7. I like your outward focus on relationships, and especially on transparency. Reputation is worth more than gold. Loving your neighbor as yourself means thinking about their good.
8 and 9. Your insistence on repetitive self and external evaluation/celebration is powerful. Part of this should also include change, repentance, asking forgiveness if necessary.
10. Closes the loop, breaking down change into small and manageable pieces.

Dan,
How am I creating personal wins? By remembering and repeating to myself the following…

Every good choice today makes tomorrow easier, puts me closer to where I want to be.
Every bad choice (back slide) today, makes it harder tomorrow. It is easier to back slide the day after you back slide.

1. Block out 3 times a day to deal with email and stick with it. For me, really hard to do and worth it.
2. Disable *every* notification on every device. No sounds, pop ups, badges, or any other notification of another incoming email.

In 1984, my former partner Bob Green and I co-invented host-based email because we felt the telephone was to intrusive. We wanted a communication tool that let us get to on our schedule. That thought appears to have been entirely lost here in 2013.

Dear Dan,
Redefine your dream is very powerful. I agree that winning is a process and will lead to destination. But winners do not stop even at destination. The moment they reach to their destination, they create newer destination. And this is the winners journey. In the process, I think, we redefine our definition to success. It is very important to know, what is our definition to success. And even more important is to believe in the definition. Many a times, we tend to question our definition to success and more over it tends to influenced by many factors. So, winners may take time to define success, strategy, steps and direction,but do not deviate from their direction.
I believe in creating personal wins by believing in self that I can achieve my goal. I generally set tough goals. I actually believe that if you need to become class, you need to set class goals. Everyone set goal but if differs from person to person. Easy goals are easy to achieve. It also provide pride but the real enjoyment is achieving goals that generally people think is not possible or hard to achieve. I believe to achieve the usually tougher goals.

Hey Dan, I really like the last one – Redefine the win. The centre actually moves on a regular basis so you need to keep telling people where it is – and you need to keep thinking about that for yourself – otherwise you may get the win you asked for but not be where you want to be (done that before).
I suggest a change one more…”Get positively excited and show it”.
Thanks Again
Richard

Get hold of a Hawaiian shirt (I bet you’ve got one of these as well. A montage specially edited for the occasion works best. Waiting until the park is about to close is one way to get some privacy, as is visiting the park during Disneyland’s less busy times.