March 19, 2010

Pants on the Ground, Pants on the Ground

Oh yes, I just wrote that title. AND NOW YOU WILL ALL HAVE THAT ANNOYING SONG STUCK IN YOUR HEADS. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Backing up to the point before I made you all twitch in American Idol agony, allow me to assure you that there was a reason behind my title beyond causing yet another refrain of "LOOKING LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND."

I met my mother for lunch at a local mall this afternoon. We finally made it inside the restaurant (quite the feat for those of you who understand how difficult it is becoming to lift my not-so-little boy in his car seat) and we grabbed a booth.

We spent the better part of an hour talking about life and babies when my mother (who was holding Nathaniel) mentioned that his entire butt felt wet. My initial thought was that he was just sweaty. BECAUSE THERE WAS NO WAY THAT HE COULD HAVE SOAKED THROUGH HIS DIAPER AND A THICK PAIR OF CORDUROY PANTS. BECAUSE I SAID SO.

But then a thread of doubt crept into my mind. My little boy seems to have a talent for the directionality of his waste; if there is any opening in a diaper, be it the most minuscule little crease, he will aim for it, find it, and KABOOM- sayonara to another pair of pants.

To put my mind at ease, I took Nathaniel to the bathroom, armed with my trusty old diaper bag. AND OH MY GOODNESS, HE WAS DRENCHED.

Now when I say that he was drenched, I don't mean he had a sweet, small baby-sized diaper leak. I mean to say that he had a MEAN OL' TEXAS-SIZED VOLLEY OF PEE. The diaper was soaked, his onesie was drenched, and his pants were soggy.

And this was the one time mama didn't bring spare clothes. Head meet desk.

So we strapped a clean diaper onto his bum and re-dressed him in his pee-laden clothes, with mama's profuse apologies. The look on his face was clear: GET ME OUT OF THESE DRIPPING-WET CLOTHES, WENCH. OR ELSE.

No mama wants to find out what "or else" means to an angry, pee-soaked baby. Thank God we were at the mall and they had a Baby Gap.

Nathaniel went home with a new pair of pants. Mama went home with a valuable lesson: always be prepared!

3 comments:

We had a similiar type issue the first time we took Garrett to church. Expect it was poop. All over everything he was wearing. I almost didn't have a change of clothes for him, too! Right before we left, I grabed a onsie and an outfit! Thank goodness!

Love it! I need to pack a shirt for myself! A few days ago I sat down to feed Sophia and I had forgotten to insert some pads and when my milk came into the other breast, bam! I was a mess! Good thing I was just at a friend's house.

Hello. My name is Alyssa and I'm married to a sweet man named Jonathan. We're building a life together with our wee ones in our farmhouse nestled in the heart of the suburbs. Through photos and words, I chronicle our lives as a family of six as we strive to get the most out of each day.