James Franco is so hot right now. Like, even hotter than Hansel.
I totallty trust James Franco enough to make him my primary care physician.
James Franco touched Midas and Midas turned to gold.
James Franco has the ability to grant wishes.
Oprah gets her business advice from James Franco.
James Franco once beat Chuck Norris in a thumb wrestling match. By TKO.
James Franco can talk to animals. Even unicorns.
James Franco is currently being tested in human trials as a cure for diabetes.
When zombies bite James Franco they turn back into humans. Sexy humans.

James Franco’s best movie was never released. This is because his acting in it was so good that it caused everyone watching it to have a right-brain stroke. But James Franco is a powerful yet merciful demigod, so he demanded all copies be burned but one, kept for records, in a sercure and classified location that may or may not be the pentagon. Because, in the immortal words of James Franco, “With great power comes great responsibility.”