Any place that markets itself as a centre of personal wish fulfilment is going to draw in people who want something for themselves. The more they are paying, the higher the hurdles to enter, the greater their expectations of achieving their goals are.

your partner(s) are getting down to business, clothing coming off and sex fantasies all ready to happen.
Then, looming in from the shadows comes 'that guy'. He's staring silently, looking like a supervillain's henchman, or smiling maniacally, all alone. He's standing a little too close for comfort, cock in hand, stroking himself off to your frolics.

In an age of new female sexual liberation, are women taking back their feminine power in their own eyes, and the eyes of men? Or was granny onto something all along- that when you explore your sexuality as a woman, you will be judged for it by the opposite sex?

Having a very strong appreciation of her, and not thinking of her just as a fantasy for your relationship, is really what is important in ultimately meeting and finding someone. We just now speak to people, find about about them and then see if it goes anywhere.

Do you feel sex parties and swinging fit in with feminist ideals? Totally. It's about what I want to do on equal terms with men. I feel sexually equal at sex parties - I don't have to pretend to be the stereotype of a girl who is 'hard to get' or is 'prey' for a man. Do you think you are perceived differently from 'vanilla' women? Yes- I think men on the scene would not consider me as a girlfriend as I am too equal sexually. Men don't want that in a partner usually. There is a double standard, that's for sure.

This really depends on the people - I have no favourite, couples, three singles, friends, whatever..... it is all good if everyone knows what their role is and communicates what they want - and being a filthy minx or tomcat helps too! People who give in and let the sensation and experience take over and stop worrying about how they look, or what the other one is up to.

Here is where I tell you how to take down the hard to capture unicorn. Executed correctly, it is ruthlessly effective. It is also, in its whole, though not necessarily its parts, very dishonest. This is the strategy for the couple who are all about the hunt. For whom the intellectual and primal challenge are the motivator, rather than necessarily the end product. It is completely unethical in its construction, yet if done right, everyone goes away happier than any other strategy I know of. Sorry, my unicorns, here is where I expose your Achilles' heel.

If you rush things; if you make your lust for sex a thing that is to be feared, that is not controllable, your unicorns will flee from you. Be like the old bull, not like the Red Bull. Take your time. Build their trust. Walk down the hill slowly, and fuck them all.

Everyone's guilty of making assumptions at some time....judgement is human nature, it's a survival tactic...so you can't be too hard on people about it...just put them right when they make an assumption of you, if you care enough to...mostly I don't care enough about other people's opinions of me...the time I care is when I actually care about the person making the assumption.