Tuesday, April 20

The Vigilidiot Sahil Rizwan does it. The GreatBong Arnab Ray does it. Paan-waalas all over India do it. So why not me?

Yes. I will be writing a movie review. Now take it and go.

On the 17th, Baba (Lavneesh for the uninitiated) decided to take the Delhi Chapter of IIMSPGP09 (TomBua, CR-ni, Charra, Harsha, BoloManav, Dood, Bagla, TurnOver and me) out for a movie at Spice World in Noida, it being his birthday. So doing something that I don’t even do for work, I woke up at 7:45 and travelled all the way to Noida from Lajpat Nagar. To watch ‘Clash of the Titans’. Or so I thought.

I reach there and find out that they have already purchased the tickets. To Paathshala.

A small disclaimer: I don’t really like Hindi movies. So the review might be biased.

The movie starts with a scene introducing Shahid-anna as an English teacher who takes up the job of a teacher at SVM. Patekar-Nana plays the part of the typical good-guy-who-looks-bad-but-turns-out-to-be-good-by-the-end-when-you-can-see-through-the-plot-so-easily-it-makes-you-feel-like-puking-as-if-anorexia-was-your-dope. Shahid’s acting is worse. And about the extras, don’t even ask.

How to make a movie?

Ingredients:

2 Movies to abstract plots out of (TZP and 3I)

1 Good Actor (Shahid Kapur)

1 Washed-up Actor (Nana Patekar)

1 Cute Actress (Ayesha Takia)

2 Cute but seriously challenged actresses (oh if only I could call them actresses … Prreti kopikar and Shraddha Arya)

Young kids pretending to act (add to taste)

1 Impaired script writer

1 Seriously Impaired director

Directions

Take all of the above. Pour them in boiling oil. Let them burn to death. Scrape off the dead skin. Present according taste. Put in a beautiful bowl.

Serve with celery on the side.

I just realized I suck at writing movie reviews.

Sahil and Arnab have talent. The paan-waals definitely have talent. I give up. Just like in the movie hall. I can’t do this anymore. Go watch the movie. It will give you a new perspective on life.