Real advice from real people

“I want to make out with every guy I’m with”

Okay, so this has been going on for a while now and I don’t know what to do. I’m 16 years old, and I’ve been having this sudden urge to make out with any guy I’m with. I know it’s literally called being horny, and it’s purely hormonal. I am pretty sure I’m not asexual, but I am not interested in having sex AT ALL.

I’ve seen the consequences of unprotected sex, and sex when you are too young, and the consequences are not appealing to me at all. I literally just want a traditional one night stand kind of deal, where we make out for a while, and feelings beyond physical attraction are just not there, and we go our separate ways, unaffected besides the pleasure of making out with each other.

I’ve tried this before with a complete, and utter asshole, but it lasted a second instead of the few minutes I actually wanted at that moment, and it sucked. Though the thing is, it did relieve me of that gnawing urge to kiss.

That was a few months ago, and now, I am more alone than ever, and I just need to do this with someone. I have tried to find someone whom I wasn’t completely repulsed by, but when I do find someone, I am too much of a wimp to express what I want. Overall, I just need someone to tell me what to do, and how to make myself more available, while still being respectful to myself and others, and while not coming off as floozy.

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One thought on ““I want to make out with every guy I’m with””

What you are talking about is normal- nothing is wrong with you! Our surging hormones are strange things- and our bodies REALLY go bananas when we are 16.

First of all, let’s talk about shame and sex. There’s always been an idea that a 16 year old boy is horny all of the time- parents and others joke that they are masturbating in the bathroom constantly (which they probably are). That’s OK, and healthy. The deal is that girls have the same feelings, however they are shamed for wanting to go and sow their oats….to add insult to injury masturbation is ‘gross’ and a secret. Not fair, right?

So two things- sounds like you are not feeling ready for sex but do have realistic desires- and yes, you aren’t the only human who hasn’t thought about getting down with people that we wouldn’t typically give the time of day to. Take a good hard look at what ‘respectful’ to yourself and others is- how do you define it? How do you respect your body? Where does that message come from? Is it respectful to you and your body to ignore your needs and not educate yourself on sexuality? Loaded question I know…..

If you think that it’s an internal value system that you would like to uphold, then OK. If you decide it’s something that was taught to you and no longer makes sense- you have to look at that side as well. I encourage you to think about what is good for you as an individual- not only sexually but as a person all around. There will always be people who will call you a floozy, because in our society that’s a mark of shame- even girls who have never kissed anyone hear sexually deprecating remarks from adults and peers.