A blog where a family can be a family

Jeff Time: Day 7

Wow, it’s Jeff Time again and I have to admit that I am not feeling this today.

I’m tired. I’m kind of sick of my own “quirky” humor”. Know what I mean? You know that feeling of when you wake up and it’s a new day and you just don’t wanna be in the same life that you’ve been in? I think that’s how I’m feeling.

I was thinking about this earlier while journaling a little:

“I’m taking it easy today. I think one of the major obstacles a writer faces being annoyed with himself or herself. I don’t want to think about myself today. I don’t really like myself today. I don’t think what I have to say today should be forced on anybody. I wish I lived in a cave. I wish my pen had no ink in it. I wish no one would listen to me today.

I don’t need the attention. I don’t need another meaningful conversation. I don’t need new friends. I don’t need to tend to stale old relationships. I don’t need the responsibility or the confusing guilt of it. I don’t need the questions or the paranoia. I don’t need the observers. I don’t need an audience to listen to my whining. I want to be consistent with my writings but I want to be left alone.

It’s like being commited to maintaining a conversation when you want nothing but to keep your mouth tightly shut. It’s a weird thing because on one hand I want to be glad and thankful that what I do has meaning to people but then it is like a never-ending responsibility. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with it. I don’t want to be seen the way I’m seen by the people who look. And I don’t want to spend so much of my time afraid and on guard. I haven’t figured out how to get around this stuff yet so I guess I just have to deal with it.”

Okay, my blog has turned into a melodrama today. I was wanting to maintain a hip snappiness. Well that sucks.

Uh, I do have a video for you guys though. I was pretending like my blog was The Real World and this was my confession time:

And here is another bathroom performance of a song from Digital Dreams called “How I Got Free”: