When Fergie discovered crystal meth in the early ‘00s, her weight plummeted to a dangerously thin 90 pounds. She also battled bouts of drug induced psychosis and dementia.

“I was hallucinating on a daily basis. It took a year after getting after that drug for the chemicals in my brain to settle so that I stopped seeing things,” the 42-year-old told the U.K.’s iNews in an interview published on Thursday, December 7. “I’d just be sitting there, seeing a random bee or bunny.”

At one point, the “M.I.L.F $” singer believed the CIA, FBI and SWAT team were tracking her every move and sought refuge at a church. “They tried to kick me out, because I was moving down the aislesin this crazy way, as I thought there was an infrared camera i the church trying to check for my body,” Fergie recalled. “I bolted past the altar into a hallway and two people were chasing me. I remember thinking: ‘If I walk outside, and the SWAT team’s out there, I was right all along. But if they’re not out there, then it’s the drugs making me see things and I’m going to end up in an institution. And if it really is the drugs, I don’t want to live my life like this anymore, anyway.’”

Josh Duhamel and Fergie with their son Axl attend Pandora Summer Crush at LA Live on August 13, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.Jonathan Leibson/Getty Images

Of course, there was no SWAT waiting for her in the parking lot. “It was a freeing moment,” Fergie revealed. “The drugs thing, it was a hell of a lot of fun . . . until it wasn’t. But you know what, I thank the day it happened me. Because that’s my strength, my faith, my hope for something better.”

“I went into a church and had this epiphany. It was a crossroads,” she said at the time.. “The drugs I was taking were making me insane. I was definitely seeing things and talking to them.”

But those days are long behind her. Clean for more than 14 years, the mom of Axl, 4, with ex Josh Duhamel (the couple announced their separation in September after eight years of marriage) often marvels at how far she’s come. As she told iNews: “It’s incredible. I must have guardian angels.”