Saturday, October 30, 2010

I've been here in Singapore for three months now, working for slightly more than two. The initial sense of awe I had for the country has definitely worn off. It's safe to say that I've fairly gotten used to living here. There's only this lingering feeling of amazement at some of the high-tech aspects of life here that I think I won't ever get rid of (for example, the linked public transport system -- I can't get enough of that!).

I somehow still can't make up my mind about it, though. Part of me feels like: "It's been 3 months already? I didn't realize I've been here that long. I guess I can't say 'I'm just new here' anymore." On the other hand, I also feel like: "It's only been 3 months? How much longer can I stand being alone here?!"

I simply distract myself from getting too down. I amuse myself with my surroundings: the buildings, the people, the birds, the weather. When I'm in my room, I guess I feel that I need to be extra-distracted that, most of the time, I skip some household chores until I can't afford not to do them anymore. Right now, my floor has a slight shade of gray where I haven't walked on. I'll sweep it later. My sneakers have a tinge of yellow where it should be off-white. I'll wash it tomorrow. I think my stock of rice grain already has weevils -- I should get to that right away.

Right now, I'm glad that it isn't too sunny and hot, so it's not too uncomfortable to move around while I attend to my laundry. The dim view outside my window feels a little too gloomy, however.

I'm trying not to over-think things. I've already proven that over-thinking gets me nowhere. So, my usual state of mind for the past couple of months here is that of a certain kind of calm. Like I'm floating on my back in a swimming pool. I'm not just drifting aimlessly and "going with the flow", as if I'm on some wild river going uncontrollably downstream -- I'm feeling comfortable in the pool of my choice, enjoying every square inch of buoyancy.