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Friday, March 24, 2006

I don't go to sleep to dream

There's really nothing worse than a bad night's sleep. Ok, maybe a meteor crashing into the house would be worse... unless it was carrying the future Superman. Then it wouldn't necessarily be worse.

Last night I was on a roll, gluing pink and green ribbon to 48 votive candle holders. When I finally went to bed at 1 a.m., I fell asleep pretty easily. However, I woke up at 4 a.m. and had the worst time falling back to sleep. I could feel the tiredness behind my eyes, the kind that makes you think you'll fall back to sleep quickly after waking up momentarily. But I just lay there, awake. Then I started playing the number game. "Ok, if I fall asleep now, I'll still have had 5 1/2 hours sleep." A half hour later, "Ok, if I fall asleep now, I'll still have had 5 hours sleep." Thoughts about work and the wedding just wouldn't calm down long enough to let me slumber. I debated about getting up and getting online for a while, but I didn't. I may have fallen back to sleep around 5 or 5:30. And now that I'm officially up, I don't feel tired. Actually quite the opposite. I feel really jittery, like I've had two cups of strong coffee on an empty stomach. I'm going to take this as a sign that this may be a very strange day.

"This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways. So don’t forget what I told you, don’t come around, I got my own hell to raise." - Fiona Apple, Sleep to Dream

I've learned to NEVER play the numbers game while going to sleep. I turn all the clocks around so I can't see what time it is if I should wake up in the middle of the night. I sleep better not knowing how much time I have until I have to get up.