Monthly Archives: April 2013

The weather today was perfect for working outside,and I spent most all of my day in my yard. I cut the grass, moved cobblestones, and began a new project: building a new coop for my chickens. I’d put this project off all winter because of the cold, but also because I am not quite sure how to build a coop from scratch. Well, today was the first nice day in which I was also not working so I decided I would get this project started (even though I still really am not sure about how to build a chicken coop). However, I also had a job interview today at 1, so I didn’t get started on the new chicken coop until I got home and it was well after 2 by then. Try as I might, I did not finish the coop today. I needed a full day of sunlight, not a half day. I’ll get an early start tomorrow morning, bright and early.

My life is changing so much these past few months (all good things) in every aspect possible, from personal and creative to financial, business and career. It’s an exciting time in my life filled with possibilities, yet also filled with uncertainty as I chart new paths on my journey. By journey, I am referring to this journey of life which is what I consider our life on earth to be. We are moving through our existence as if we are on a adventurous voyage of discovery. We choose to learn as much or as little as we like, for you see we are the captains of our course. Our compass on this voyage is our own intuition, insight, and wisdom. I like my journey to be filled with twists and unexpected turns. These keep me alert and excited about living. One thing’s for sure, my journey is never, ever dull.

My newest endeavor is that I am going to be a real estate agent. I got my license in 2007, the year before my son passed away. Losing him was one of those unexpected twists of life. I put my license away while I grieved, became a songwriter, moved to a new town, and have started a new life. It is time now to give this career another try.

Although not all change is pleasant or exciting (especially not so when losing loved ones) it is a necessary and vital component of our journey because it propels us along. Change is the only constant we can rely on. This would not be a journey (or voyage) if our ship never moved or left port. There would be no captain, nor a need for our internal compass for guidance. We could just melt away as if we didn’t exist at all (a horrible thought). Gladly, we do exist and we are bound to the law that states change is inevitable. Welcome it. Embrace it. Accept it. and continue to move along on your journey.

Tomorrow I have a new chicken coop to finish so I guess I will say good night so I can get some rest. I’ll surely be up with the sun, first thing (even though honestly I get up early everyday).

Share this:

(This picture really has nothing to do with my post, but it is really cute and it made me smile.)

It’s true, some days are just more enjoyable than others. This day was not really a very enjoyable one. I’m certainly not writing this to bring anyone down who might read it, I’m just writing like I always do and this is how some of my life is right now.

I went to sleep last night totally exhausted. You see, I’ve been trying to supplement my $10 an hour wage at the dept. store I work at by doing interior painting. I do this 2 days a week and it is very tiring. Then I work 5 days a week at the dept. store. I haven’t had a day off in a month. I am getting cranky.

I started dating someone three months ago but I broke up with him because he was too argumentative with me. I can’t deal with that. I also have someone else I am contemplating dating but he lives about an hour and a half away, and he works a lot, and he has two teenagers. This too will fizzle out I’m sure as I do not have the patience for anything, including relationships, that don’t progress or at least show the promise of progressing. I met both of these guys randomly, one at work in the dept. store and the other through friends. I never look to date anyone but somehow I always find myself giving it a try just “one more time.”

The other day I had a dream and my Uncle Willard was in my dream. He died about 50 years ago. He was 22 years old when he died. He was hit by a bus in Boston. I don’t know why he was in my dream, and he kept talking to me, but I couldn’t remember anything he said though, and this aggravates me, but I was too flabbergasted in my dream about seeing him. So last night before I went to sleep I was reading some books about seeing dead people in your dreams. Then I read something about how people “choose” when they want to die. Then, I started thinking about my son who died 4 1/2 years ago. I started to cry, and then I got mad that he left. I threw the books on the floor and buried my head in my pillows. I didn’t want him to go to Heaven yet.

When I finally feel asleep last night, I was totally exhausted. Then the cat and dog woke me up at 6 am to go outside. I crawled downstairs let them out, and then went back to bed. I woke up around 8 and felt so sick I could barely get myself out of bed. Then I looked in the mirror and my right eye was all puffy. Great. I went out to feed the chickens and gather up the eggs (which I sell to my fellow associates at the dept. store).

On a good note, I found out today that I am the number one sales associate in my dept. and number three in the district. My cosmetics counter sales are up 62% from last year. The paper work is tedious and redundant, however. Although I am grateful that I have a job and am finally catching up with my bills, the job is routine, monotonous, redundant, and simple. I am feeling frustrated and aggravated because although I am the number sales associate, I can’t make my bills on the pay at this job because it is only a part-time position without health insurance. This whole painting and renovating houses is probably too much for me
physically, too, and I have to do something about my money situation
before I get really run down.

So, same as I’ve been doing for the past four years, I revamped my resume and yesterday and today applied to about 15 positions I found on Monster.com. I look at my resume and think of all the wonderful things I’ve done in my life and how everything is such a contrast to where I’m at in the work force today. It’s really hard for me to comprehend that with my skills, business expertise, education and knowledge, why the heck I do not have a better job by now. I’ve worked so hard beginning at 11 years old selling newspapers on a corner in Boston. I hope things will turn around for me.

So, I guess I’ll call it a day now and go upstairs to retire. I’ll read my Bible for a while, say my prayers, talk to my angel son, Carmen and go to sleep grateful for having had a very full, productive day. Things are looking up. There is always hope for a better day. I really do have a fascinating resume. You can view a version of it on LinkedIn. LinkedIn Profile

Sharen Wendy Robertson owns the copyright to all posts on this Blog.

Share this:

Whatever you desire in your life, just say it
is so, and so it will be. We, after all, are creators of our existence. These are my thoughts, anyway. For
example, say: “Peacefulness loves me and wants to be around me.
Peacefulness surrounds me.” and not, “I deserve a peaceful life,” or “I
want a peaceful life.” or “Wish I had a peaceful life.” or “Why don’t I
have a peaceful life?”

Use this new way of saying things for everything, even: “New cars love
me and want to be around me. New cars
gravitate to me.” or “Good health loves me and wants to be around me.
Good health wants to surround me.”

Don’t bother saying this unless it’s something
you really want. You must really feel that what you are saying is the
absolute, unwavering truth. Say it sincerely and with conviction. (
Remember, the universe is intelligent and can read through your BS.) Try
it. If nothing else, it will make you feel good to speak this way. It
works for me.

I’m using it right now for a few things, “Money loves me and wants to be around me (because I am tired of being penniless).” and “People love me and want to be around me (because I am tired of always being alone).” and “Work loves me and wants to be around me (because I am tired of struggling to find a job).” Hopefully, by using this new perspective I’ll be able to generate what I need in my life. I’ll let you know ow it pans out. But like I said, it makes me feel really good to speak this way…as if it is already true. No harm in trying.

Sharen Wendy Robertson owns the copyright to all posts on this Blog.

Share this:

Funny how the quality of our lives is determined by our attitude because our outlook and what we choose to focus on is the thread that pieces together the tapestry of moments. I think about my own life, just like everyone else. I look back on decisions and outcomes and sometimes wonder how will I ever find the strength to continue to push myself forward. You see, I am building a new life. Although it’s exciting on the one hand because of the unlimited potential at my fingertips, it’s also draining because of the physical, emotional and mental strength that building a new life requires. The alternative, however, to building a new life is to wallow away in sadness over a way of life that came to an end. My old life, which was a way of life for me for so many decades and took me 30 years to build from nothing, consisted of being married, of having my kids around me all the time, of having my business, of having four children (instead of three since losing my youngest son), of having my dad to call, of being financially secure, of owning properties and fancy clothes and jewelry, etc. Now, with everything from my old way of life gone, I have to think about creating a career to support myself and my old age, about maybe being in a relationship, about how to carry on alone in this world if there isn’t a relationship and all that being alone entails, and about controlling my sadness over losing my son.

On the other hand, I will not be having and raising children again, I am so much wiser about life, I am not living with domestic violence anymore, I enjoy building things (even a new life), I am very healthy, I am strong in my mind and my heart and I recognize and accept now that life is all about change and about experiencing things.

I could focus on everything that’s gone and be sad or I can live for this day that I am blessed to have woken up in. I could feel hopeless over losing my old life and being powerless to change the outcome, or I can be hopeful and strong about creating my new life. I can’t be in both lives because of the amount of energy it takes to live in one perspective is all of my energy.

Funny how easy it is to create your life if
you have the drive and the energy. You can actually “combust it” into
reality. It’s immediate or just about immediate if learn to harness,
direct and own your energy.

So, take all that energy that you have and don’t talk or think bad thoughts about anything or anyone because that will only bring bad energy into your life. Be kind. Be generous. Be loving, gentle and hard working. And never forget to laugh, sing, and dance.

I am determined to create my new life and in the process of building my new life I am not focused on my old life. My attitude and perseverence is the key to achieving all that I need to.

My life is changing dramatically
………..again. I’m creating and welcoming it. I’m ready for change.
The wheels in my mind are ever churning problem solvers. I’m living
and creating my best life.