David Tua

David Tua (born Mafaufau Tavita Lio Mafaufau Sanerivi Talimatasi; 21 November 1972) is a Samoan-New Zealander former professional boxer who competed from 1992 to 2013. Tua is best known for failing to win any of the available World Titles floating around the heavyweight division during his 20 year career. As a fighter, he was known for his dense heathen skeletal structure and spontaneous fifty plus pound muscle gain which resulted naturally from Samoan genetics after the age of 21.

David Tua has a highly acclaimed "modern" skill set. Abandoning dated techniques such as bobbing and weaving, head movement, countering, combination punching, and feinting; David Tua employs a far more sophisticated approach to the traditional swarming style of fighting, opting to following his opponents around the ring in an upright stance with his chin tucked, and gloves glued to his face. This highly advanced technique allows him to conserve his energy, avoid risky situations, and wait patiently for his opponents to create openings for his left hook; a radical departure from the traditional less effective swarmer who overwhelms his opponent with pressure to create openings.

Because of his hard Samoan head, David Tua is thought to be invulnerable to punches. Tua's durability was discovered when unknown prospect, Ike Ibeabuchi, failed to knock him out with slapping combinations delivered with the power of his massive natural African frame. Broad shouldered modern day muscle men, Hasim Rahman and Oleg Maskeav also failed to knock out David Tua with their aggressive jab the guard and rest approach. Lennox Lewis' sporadic pawing jabs at Tua's turtle guard also somehow failed to score a knockout.

Because of these proven displays of durability and tale of the tape measurements it has been determined that David Tua without question cannot be hurt by punches. Tua has never been officially knocked down by punches, there have been instances of punches connecting to his head that caused him to fall to the canvas, but they were slips or happened when he was past his prime. And all the times he got hit and was forced to retreat, he was not hurt, he was merely frustrated by his opponent's superior modern boxing ability.

Because of his modern size, modern power, modern skill set, and negroid features; David Tua has one of the greatest Fantasy Fight records in the history of ESB. He is believed to be too heavy, too fast, too durable, too skilled, and too strong for the all time great Champions of more primitive eras, especially the white ones and the Uncle Toms . In fantasy fights, David Tua has knocked out such lineal Champions as Jack Dempsey, Gene Tunney, Max Schmeling, Max Baer, Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano, Floyd Patterson, Joe Frazier, Ingo Johansson, Mike Tyson, Wladimir Klitschko, and Vitali Klitschko.