Blues Versus Sacre Bleu

What is Montreals impact? Mostly banana-hammock bathing suits, Je me souviens license plates clogging the fast lanes in February, and the band Of Montreal, whom no one over 26 has ever listened to. Also, a smaller version of the bagel and some of the best strip clubs in the world (or so weve heard).

In other words, Montreals impact has been negligible, and thats why were not worried about Miami FC Blues match this Saturday against the Montreal Impact. If history persists, the game will be decided in the first minute, when a cleverly placed separatist makes the call for Quebecois nationhood and the whole team runs off the FIU Stadium field to join the protest. Is there a mercy rule in the United Soccer League First Division? Well find out at 8 p.m. Tickets to the Canadian massacre cost $12 for adults, $7 for kids under 12 or students with valid ID.
Sat., Aug. 1, 8 p.m., 2009