JUAREZ, Mexico -- The American FBI and Mexican special forces stormed a combination whorehouse, drug warehouse and faux lesbian holding facility in a joint operation aimed at reducing the drug and fauxlesbian-related violence on both sides of their border.

In four hour shoot-out, 63 cartel "soldiers" and administration were killed, with 12 captured. The Federales sustained 2 fatalities and 13 wounded, with the Americans following up closely with 3 killed and 2 wounded. The operation recovered 2 tons of cocaine, 97 stolen vehicles, and 16 women in various stages of preparation for faux lesbian bondage and discipline encounters.

FBI Special Agent Carl Marx told UnNews, "we've been after this cartel for almost 3 years. It felt good to take them down hard. I think we've shut this Operation down for good."

Forensic accountants have already uncovered a vast conspiracy of politicians, car thieves, drug dealers, sex workers, and morticians. It is believed that the enterprise took in 40 million dollars a week in cash, much of which had to be laundered in Hong Kong. At the Asian end of the operation, one of the infamous Chinese Triads took in their cut, sanitizing cash and recycling untraceable money into the cartel.