Thursday, June 20, 2013

I wasn't going to live blog this one because that shit is stressful, but then Boris Diaw hit a huge three and I had another drink and it's 72-71 Miami because Supernintendo hit a bank 3 at the buzzer there. This is crazy basketball and, with only a minimal amount of hyperbole, this is why you watch sports. Plus somebody said something nice about my Game 6 blog which I thought was sweet and made me feel important.

12:00 - I have a small bet on anybody but Lebron winning the MVP (which means I'm a Spurs fan), a smaller bet on Spurs +5.5, and a seething hatred of both Lebron and Lebron haters because let's face it the dude is completely awesome. Money always breaks the tie, so I'm a Spurs fan first, and a Miami fan by less than 6 second. Also, that banked three is going to be the difference in the title. You watch.

11:32 - Battier hits his fifth three of the game. The Heat might win another title while Battier plays hero? Just fucking kill me.

11:08 - Manu on Lebron. Uh oh. James, like an idiot, takes a three and continues to work on building that homeless shelter with all those bricks so your mom and sister will have a place to sleep.

10:28 - I really don't like where we're going with this. Heat role players are starting to do a lot of good things, and all they're going to need is Lebron to take over in the end here. With luck Wade and Bosh will screw it up like they have most of this series. Come on Spo, put in Bosh!

10:07 - This is crazy but Lebron just got called for a foul and he totally doesn't think he should have been called for anything. Stunning.

9:42 - If that god damn freak Birdman guy gets one more offensive rebound I'm going to sit here and bitch about it some more. I DO NOT like the vibe right now. 77-73 Los Heat.

9:18 - Tony Parker's body is too fast for his mind right now. Turning into a fumble machine. I know it's cliched to make a french army joke when Tony Parker struggles in the clutch......so I won't do it.

8:40 - Ha ha Shane Battier missed and he's old and stupid and crappy and I heard his degree from Duke is in something gay like communications.

8:40 - Text from Snacks "I've decided I can't watch." He does this all the time with the Gophers or if the Twins actually make the playoffs, but he seriously has no stake in this game. Not a fan of either team, not a hater of either team (other than the Heat like everyone else but not, you know, like it was Wisconsin or anything), and no significant wagers. What a weirdo.

8:34 - UPDATE: Apparently he really, really hates the Heat after watching the ref bitching from Wade and Lebron all series. Tough to argue with him here, other than the not watching thing.

7:45 - Danny Green and Mario Chalmers trade absolutely horrible three pointers that both miss. I'd make an NBA Faaaaaaaaaaantastic joke but really it's actually been a pretty great series. Also Danny Green really needs to stop doing anything that isn't shooting a spot up three pointer.

6:53 - Two biggest X-factors were Wade and Ginobili. Wade has been outstanding. Ginobilli just literally let the ball slip through his fingers and go out of bounds. Luckily, Chris Bosh (0 points so far) just got called for an offensive foul prior to Ginobilli proving me wrong. 81-77 Heat. Shane Battier is still a huge douche.

6:03 - Ginobili passes it straight out of bounds. Dude is just completely out of control and it's not working.

5:37 - This Lone Ranger movie looks pretty awesome.

5:37 - Just kidding.

4:53 - I'm going to say right now that Duncan looks completely dialed in. I think shits about to get real for Miami. If they can keep scoring they'll win. If they keep letting Bosh shoot the ball, they won't. 83-79 Heat.

4:04 - Danny Green has started believing in his own legend. What a stupid shot.

3:27 - Why would you ever give the ball to an unstoppable Duncan against Bosh? Effing Battier with another three. Ballgame.

3:10 - Three point play by Duncan (told you). 88-85 Heat. Time for a stop. Probably want to make sure Splitter isn't in there, eh.

2:37 - Uh oh.

2:00 - Leonard with a huge three and it's a two point game. If the Heat are going to win can it at least be on another Ray Allen buzzer beater? I might actually enjoy that. A little.

1:35 - Supernintendo misses two free throws, Bosh somehow gets the offensive rebound, and then is stripped by Leonard. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

1:30 - Lebron back on Parker. Somebody else is going to have to do something. Like absolutely brick an open three, Leonard.

1:06 - Wade stupidly keeps the ball the entire possession then bricks a jumper, Lebron gets a huge offensive board and finds your boyfriend Shane Battier for a wide open three pointer which he luckily misses, there's a battle for the board and the Spurs come up with it and there was so much happening so quickly I paused it and now that I look up I see Danny Green dribbling and I know this will not end well.

0:48 - Duncan misses an open chance to tie the game. Wow. That was it, right there. That was it. And he knows it.