Title: Lodestar
Author: ShayneT
Rating: T
Genre: Action
Status: In-Progress
Library Category: Other Fandom
Pairings: None
Summary: Taylor Hebert is the grandchild of Magneto, a villain from another world. She has inherited his powers. Is the world prepared for a mistress of magnetism?
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12867805/1/Lodestar

So, this is pretty decent. I usually don't rec something so soon, but its 25k words and I've enjoyed it. Its currently up to date with whats posted on SB.

The author has been kind of hit or miss in the past, but they have a pretty frequent update status at the moment, its different than their other fic (Skittering Thief) in that there were thousands of words and fucking nothing happened.

This is a guilty pleasure for me for sure, because Mutant Powers =/= Worm powers, but I like Magneto from X-men, so this has a potential to be good, or a potential to suck.

Rating 2/5 atm. Changed to reflect current sentiment. It did start out as a 4/5 imo.

Last edited: May 4, 2018

John Waynes Teeth, John Waynes Teeth. Are they plastic, or are they steel!~Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA)(FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN)(WBA) | Dessication(FFN) I also answer questions about food, Ask a Chef

Not that I'm going to defend the story... But examples of bad grammar you saw in the first couple of paragraphs that was so terrible that you couldn't even skim?

John Waynes Teeth, John Waynes Teeth. Are they plastic, or are they steel!~Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA)(FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN)(WBA) | Dessication(FFN) I also answer questions about food, Ask a Chef

Enjoyable so far. Avoiding most of the pitfalls of standard altpower fics, in that it is completely off the rails of canon. If Taylor ends up going out and running into Lung I'll be disappointed, but so far it's good. 4/5.

The grammar here is godawful. I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs. 1/5 because I couldn't even get to a part of the plot to rate.

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I don’t think you actually read it, because there weren’t any grammatical issues. In fact, here is a quote:

shayneT said:

The smell was the worst.

If I hadn't known that I could get out any time I wanted, this probably would have been just as horrifying as the Trio had planned. As it was I'd created a force field immediately after being locked in but I was still stuck with the stink of the air trapped inside of the force field with me.

Oxygen was paramagnetic; I knew that from chemistry class. However I'd never worked out how to control oxygen with my powers, something that I was obviously going to have to rectify.

I sighed as I heard the bell ring and the footsteps retreating. It stung that no one had thought to help me or even tell a teacher. There was a time when I would have been furious, railed against the cowardice of people who should have had more courage.

My expectations had been lowered over time to the point that I was hardly surprised.

The hardest thing was keeping my temper under control. I was fully capable of making the locker explode, and the fact that it would have undoubtedly turned some of thestudents outside into a paste was not bothering it as much as it should have.

It was good that they were gone.

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There is a missing comma or two, but that is really it. This is the quality of the rest of the piece. Don’t be a shitty cunt, and kindly fuck off.

Personally, I liked it. The differences in characters early on and how they’d been acting was fun. It also isn’t terribly common for Taylor to actually have a ridiculous power right off the block, and watching her throw that weight around irresponsibly is entertaining and I look forward to where the author takes it.

However, as of the last few chapters, I’m afraid I can tell you exactly where the author is taking things as the story is slowly turning back into the shit that is most Worm fanfiction. Just to start, an expose on poorly developed and charicatured secondary and tertiary characters with a single personality attribute apiece and a demonstration on the naïveté of adults and the obvious intelligence of kids. Also Panacea makes an entirely unnecessary appearance to give Taylor a bland info dump.

3.5/5 trending lower as it turns back into the shit from whence it came.

Last edited: Apr 5, 2018

Blackmarch said:

Things that would have driven the strongest of men, of mortals, raving mad passed before Trevor’s moist, unblinking eyes.

In the beginning I was enjoying the whole Magneto thing. Not a lot of X-men crosses in Worm that last more than a couple of chapters. The last couple chapters (E88 and Panacea) have made me cringe horribly.

The impression I get off this story is the author has maybe read through most of Worm once, and probably read some ffs. Little things pull me out of the story: characterizations are off here and there, fanon thrown in here and there, and the rushed story line is what's pulling me away little by little. Rev that bitch up to ludicrous speed and pop the clutch! There is so much that can and could be done if Shayne would slow down just a tad and work with what is available to him via decades of character with Magneto in the comics.

Instead, Magneto is mostly kill/rend/tear with small bouts of sanity mixed in when he realizes he's gone too far with his suggestions.

I want to like it, and I'll probably keep reading, because of the mutant thing, and because Shayne usually finishes his stories. but it's not something that I'll devote time to if there is something better out there.

4/5 at first, down to 3/3. Hopefully it doesn't drop any lower.[/QUOTE]

I think the biggest hurdle for future Star Wars movies will be how they explain Harry's presence in the SW-universe.

Yeah, that's why my initial review was rather higher than now. Author has a tendency to escalate things beyond all recognition (Skittering Thief), hopefully he can reign it in, but I doubt it. Oh well, good while it lasted. I guess its back to waiting for that X23 crossover to update.

John Waynes Teeth, John Waynes Teeth. Are they plastic, or are they steel!~Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA)(FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN)(WBA) | Dessication(FFN) I also answer questions about food, Ask a Chef

I have to admit that the first chapter alone was enough to sour my enthusiasm for this story. The locker scene and dispute with Emma and Sophia would be bad enough in a "normal" Worm story but make in my opinion even less sense in a story with a premise like this.. The next chapters were a bit better but I still struggled with them and it was something of a release to drop the story later once it became clear it would get worse and not better.

Its unfortunate, I had such high hopes, its quickly turning into a dumpster fire.

John Waynes Teeth, John Waynes Teeth. Are they plastic, or are they steel!~Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA)(FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN)(WBA) | Dessication(FFN) I also answer questions about food, Ask a Chef

Its unfortunate, I had such high hopes, its quickly turning into a dumpster fire.

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Lodestar is officially a dumpster fire. As of the latest two chapters I have my doubts about Shayne having read Worm at all. Perhaps a chapter/character synopsis or something is more likely. Assault actually calls Taylor "Puppy" in the latest. I mean... what?

Instead of 'stations of canon' Shayne seems to be writing the 'stations of Worm fanfic tropes.' and doing a really bad job of it in the process.

I know I said I'd stick it out, but I feel embarrassed for reading it anymore. It's not even a guilty pleasure at this point. I'm done with this one.

2/5

I think the biggest hurdle for future Star Wars movies will be how they explain Harry's presence in the SW-universe.

Yeah, its kind of depressing. I'll probably keep reading it though because its updating at least. I'm definitely not liking the direction, so if it gets boring or annoying enough I'll just stop reading.

Also, I'm kind of annoyed that instead of instigating some kind of fallout with her, the PRT are pretty much acting like nothing ever happened. Also the PHO update is confusing the fuck out of me. I was lead to believe there was going to be some Endbringer action... But instead she's paling around with Bitch.

Last edited: Apr 14, 2018

John Waynes Teeth, John Waynes Teeth. Are they plastic, or are they steel!~Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA)(FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN)(WBA) | Dessication(FFN) I also answer questions about food, Ask a Chef

I went into this one with relatively mild expectations, but the first hard danger flag was the talking Magneto helmet. Outside sources speaking in the head of the protagonist is so rarely done well that I knew I was headed into some choppy water.

The interaction with Bitch is unnecessary, and one of the latest chapters has her worrying about the logistics of her tower and how she's going to air condition it. That's the sort of stupid shit I expect from SpaceBattles and AlternateHistory, though. They're more interested in the mechanics than in the narrative, and it shows. The legality of coolant chemicals and scrap metal prices? The risk of hackers hacking her tower? Neighbors being mad that the fuck off giant tower of doom is casting too much shade? Kill me now.

Started as a tentative 3/5, but has rocketed down to a 2. Dumpster fire is right.

Well, new update, if anyone is still following. They just introduced Dinah, and apparently people are trying to assassinate Taylor using crossbows and plastic tipped arrows.

I'm not too sure where they're going with the whole Dinah thing, other than not the usual Coil route. That's good, I suppose.

John Waynes Teeth, John Waynes Teeth. Are they plastic, or are they steel!~Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA)(FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN)(WBA) | Dessication(FFN) I also answer questions about food, Ask a Chef

The current bit is a shopping trip with her and father. And it blows my mind with how detached the author is with the gang dynamics within Brockton.

Right now the current conversation is Danny saying, oh yeah, ABB called and Lungs wants a truce with you. I think you should do it because... reasons. And is then talking about how Lungs is a chill leader.

And this, what relevance does this have when a gang leader is wanting to talk to another person.

“I'll get out and talk to them,” I said. “But we're going to have to talk about getting my messages on time. Why did he call you instead of me?”

“He knows where I work and the number is in the directory,” Dad said. “Also it's kind of old fashioned to talk to the parents first.”

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Its like he wants to be funny, but the situation isn't funny at all.

John Waynes Teeth, John Waynes Teeth. Are they plastic, or are they steel!~Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA)(FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN)(WBA) | Dessication(FFN) I also answer questions about food, Ask a Chef

There are consistent flashes of interesting plot - like Danny spending more time on his power than is healthy - only for the story to be waylaid by shopping and bloody mortgage talk. And yeah, it's a way to showcase the dynamic between Taylor and her father and flesh out their current standing to each other, but damn. Every time something interesting happens, we're immediately hit by something else that just seems like pandering to a hypothetical audience of superautists.

There are consistent flashes of interesting plot - like Danny spending more time on his power than is healthy - only for the story to be waylaid by shopping and bloody mortgage talk. And yeah, it's a way to showcase the dynamic between Taylor and her father and flesh out their current standing to each other, but damn. Every time something interesting happens, we're immediately hit by something else that just seems like pandering to a hypothetical audience of superautists.

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Also the bait at the end of the chapter when she agrees to go meet Lung on neutral land.

Its typical of many setups in the worm fandom. Things are going "great" for Taylor at the moment. She's had victories.

I predict that the Teeth show up. Lung kills Butcher, and now Butcher has Lungs power. And things go to shit from there.

I mean. I see nothing that would indicate this, but just considering the audience and everyone's need to escalate things because if there is no action, they have no way to make intrigue or dynamic plot. Something stupid is going to happen.

I always fucking hate when they oversell the gangs in Brockton. Hurr Brockton has a large cape population. Well, sure, but does that really mean that the whole fucking story needs to devolve into gang dynamics and territory grabs, and super autist PRT as comedic relife? Not really. Worm is pretty open world in regards to FF. Its always annoying that they constrain themselves to elements of canon instead of making something new.

That's my primary draw to Alt-Power Taylor fics, the desire to see something done differently. Not just rehash of canon with a different power set.

John Waynes Teeth, John Waynes Teeth. Are they plastic, or are they steel!~Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA)(FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN)(WBA) | Dessication(FFN) I also answer questions about food, Ask a Chef