Inferno

Summary:
The day for Bella Swan to get what she wants, to become a vampire, has finally arrived. She knew there would be pain, but not this much, nothing like this fire burning inside of her...
.:oneshot:.:Bella's POV:.
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Notes:
My muse for this piece came to me while I was brushing my teeth one night. Yes, very strange, but that's the way it happened. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

1. this ending is also a beginning

Once when I was younger, I had to use a hot glue gun for a school project. I remember the trigger got stuck, and burning hot glue had coursed out onto my hand. The pain was so intense, it felt like it took forever for Renee to help me get it off of my skin. But finally, it was gone and my hand was slathered in green aloe gel to sooth the nearly-blistered spot. For the longest time, that moment was listed very high as one of the most painful of my life.

This felt like I had spilled hot glue on myself again, only magnified by a thousand, and not just on my skin, but all over me and flowing through my veins.

This time it couldn't be fixed by soothing words or sticky, odd-smelling jelly. This time my mother couldn't save me from it. Nobody could. There was no turning back now.

At first it was nothing. Just a sharp pinch on the side of my neck and a faint stinging sensation. Before I realized I had even been moved, I was lying down on something soft --a bed? a couch? I could barely remember my name at this point, much less figure out what I was lying on-- and trying to close my mouth around the cry of agony that was threatening to escape. I didn't want Edward to feel remorse for this. I chose it. I was doing this for him. For us.

The venom was like fire. It actually felt like heat moving under my skin. It started on my neck where I had been bitten and slowly blazed toward my right shoulder.

I couldn't take it anymore, and it hadn't even been five minutes. I screamed, and a cool hand was immediately on my cheek, stroking it in a comforting way. I wanted to take Edward's hand, but my arms had become like lead and wouldn't move. I tried to speak, but all I heard was another shriek.

The fire was slowly starting to progress through my body. I could feel it burning away everything that defined me as a human. Melting my weak muscles and buffing them into steel. Turning my bones to ash and making them stone, just the same as sand is blasted into glass by lightning on a beach.

The pain was so excruciating at times that my vision would turn black as night. Lost among my cries was a prayer for the sweet relief of unconsciousness that would never come. Somewhere along the way I found myself wishing that I wouldn't make it much longer, because death surely would be better than enduring this inferno inside of me.

"Bella, love don't say that," a voice said near to my ear, sweet as honey. "You're going to make it. I promise."

I writhed and struggled against the arms that held me in my spot for an immeasurable expanse of time. Had it been hours? Days? All I knew was this pain, this torture like I had never imagined. When would it end?

I got my answer when the fire began to dissipate. I had suffered through my insides being incinerated and I had cried tearless sobs when my skin felt like it was being reduced to ashes. I felt like crying again, but this time out of joy that the agony was leaving me.

After a minute or so, I tried to sit up. Before my vision focused on the pale face in front of me, I felt two hands --normal temperature, not cold-- gently coax me onto my back again.

The fire exploded in my chest again, with more fury and passion than ever. Had I the need to breathe, I would've passed out, because I couldn't move a single muscle in my body after I curled up in a tight ball. My arms were hugging my knees to my chest and I was crying out again for Edward, for anyone to save me from this.

He was there, his arms wrapped around me and his hands brushing my face. I only then realized that he had been there all along, suffering with me. Even though it hurt him to know that he had caused this much pain to me, he chose to stay there, wiping the tears from my eyes until I had no more to shed.

He stayed with me like that until my last working organ, my heart, shut down. We sat in silence for a few moments, as I was too afraid to move again. If I never went through that again it would be too soon.

"Bella..." Edward whispered. "Love, it's over."

Yes, I thought. Thank heaven for that. But it's also just beginning...