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Queen, gotta hand it to ya. I don't know if I could have stopped if I was with a guy and we were naked and doing the hot-and-heavy. I've always thought disclosure is strictly a personal decision. I don't blast anyone for not doing it. And you're right about the disability thing. You paid taxes for it. You should be able to do with your money what you want. You don't have to answer to anyone.

The NA function was actually pretty good. The speaker was from Gary, IN. Queen, you think you're ghetto. It was good though and I could relate on a lot of things he was talking about. The nose itching when doing heroin etc. The withdrawals, the nightmare of being in active addiction and finally coming out of the shadows. I have got to learn some of the newer dances. I know how to do the 'electric slide' but ladies, it's been years. And when I did it before, of course I wasn't an old fogee. The dances they were doing were all of course more modern ones and I love to watch them. You all know, I was a stripper when I was 17, so yes, this white girl can carry a beat. Anyway, I'm going to check out a few more threads and crash. Have a good one all-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

BT~ You crack me up! I was a Pom Pom for 4 years and I got rythym, too! Did you do the "Cha Cha Slide" lol? Speaking of stripping, a friend of the family called my mother to let us know what her BF gave her for Valentine's Day. The friend is my age, and her BF got her a racy outfit and a stripper's pole, lol! My Mom told the friend to put her BF on the phone, and then Mom asked him "Where's mine?" She is nuts. LMAO

Queen~ My Mom baked my Dad a meatloaf in the shape of a heart for Valentine's Day. I gave Iceman a bag full of heart-shaped brownies and chocolates!

Tomorrow is the big romantic dinner. I am excited! Iceman and I haven't gone out in awhile, and certainly not to somewhere extra-nice, not since our first date. He said he is staying over, too. Yippee! I got a cute lil black number to wear today at the store, for tomorrow. He kept saying he wanted me in black, so I looked and looked, and what do you know? I finally found something. I checked VS a few weeks ago, I still have a gift card to use there from Christmas. They don't have shit in the store near me. Everything is made out of cotton, is mesh and see-through all over (NOT good with a lipo belly), looks like its for a sorority house, or is just not me. I need to go to a bigger store at a different mall and get something.

I was channel surfing this weekend and saw Flav's show. Did you all get a load of "Peachee" from the internet vote? OMG, puh-lease! I still have to figure out who fried chicken girl is from Mississippi. I didn't watch for more than a moment, and there are twins on there? Good grief, I think Flav looks like he got hit by a bus. LOL

I am happy because I activated my Sirius Radio again. Doofus was paying for it for two years, and on January 9th it just went *poof* while I was driving. The subscription ended and I'm sure he didn't renew for me. So, I got online tonight, re-registered everything in my name, ran out to the Jeep in my PJs and badda-bing!

I have Heavy Metal Hair Nation in the Jeep for my commutes now. Ahhhhhhh.......So MANY good songs. BT, you would love it. You can actually do a free 3-day trial online. Just go to Sirius.com next Friday or whenever you know you'll be home for three days so you can listen to your heart's content. Its so cool! All 80s stuff!

Sun~ I hope you're OK tonight, I'm thinking about you. I have faith that you'll be kicking your heels up again in no time!

Is anyone going to the AMG in Mexico City August 7 - 12? I am considering it, but I'm really not sure. The elevation there is 7500 feet above sea level! Denver is only 5000 feet. I'm thinking the altitude may very well kick my ass.....Airfare is going to be close to $600 from Maryland and the hotel will be $50/night. We're looking at prob $1200 for the trip, and I HATE flying. I've only flown alone once before in my life to Chicago..... I'll have to mull this one over.

I mentioned AMG to Iceman and told him I may want to go, and he piped up and said he and I could go somewhere....... Such a sweet man. I'm gonna rock his world tomorrow night, lol.

I wish I could go to AMG but like Betty, I can't afford it even if I saved now. Someone had asked me earlier if I was going to go. It would've been nice to get away from the hood for a few days. The last time I was on a plane was when I went to Puerto Rico some years back. I am scared of heights but didn't mind the plane ride at all.

I remember doing the electric slide back in the day, there was like 50 different versions and I use to know all of them. I always liked to Cha- Cha and Salsa dance. Sometimes I do when I am alone.. I didn't even get around to cooking anything today. I have just been snacking. Tomorrow is laundry day, I am dreading it but it must be done. I don't mind doing laundry, I just hate doing it at the laundry mat.

On to Flavor of Love, wasn't Peachee the one with the serious underbite? Cindy, you should've kept watching it, Flav was talking shit. The internet viewers picked 5 ladies for him on 4 of them he sent home. He said the fans must hate him, it was funny as hell. This week's episode, the hood rats are suppose to be fighting. This should be interesting. What people won't do for 15 minutes of fame. I'd rather be a WWE Diva..

Betty, you mean there is someone more ghetto than me? I thought I owned the rights... LOL@pastey falling off. My roomie use to be a stripper too back in the day. I wouldn't mind being one if I had the body for it. But I have a tummy and stretch marks. I have actually seen strippers with stretch marks and it wasn't pretty. Strippers make some decent money or so I have been told.

I didn't do much tonight. I watched Night at the Museum which I thought was funny as hell. I have to get the dvd. No call from Kevin but he is prolly working so I am not stressing it. Betty, it was a test to be naked and not do anything that's for sure. I am trying my hardest to be as responsible as I can since I have not disclosed to him and this time around I am not rushing the physical or sex. If I can go almost 3 years w/o sex, I can hang on til I choose to disclose. And there are ways for me to be satisfied... And he is quite good at it, I might add. I am really trying to do it right this time and give him a choice. I am terrified of being rejected and really not sure how I will deal with it. I might spiral back into depression but I have a game plan. I want to get in with a therapist and have the chance to talk about my issues with trust and disclosure. So, if I do get rejected by Kevin when I choose to disclose, I will be better equipped to handle it and not go off the deep end like I did the last time.

It's pretty warm outside, but raining. I was going to do laundry today, but I don't want to have to haul clothes around in the rain.

Yes Queen, I would say the guy that spoke at the NA function last night was even more ghetto than you, my Majesty. He's 65 and has had a hell of a life. Plus, he was from Gary, and you guys have probably read about that city. Gary, IN is only about an hour from me. When I used to go to Chicago I'd travel through there. All I remember is that it stunk pretty bad from the sewage I believe and the steel plants. My sponsor is from Gary also. Yes, strippers do make good money. As long as one knows how to hustle. But that doesn't take long to catch on to. Oh, there'd be no way I could dance now, with my body being what it is. But when I was 17 I had quite a nice bod. All the strippers I worked with were strung out, including me. I remember the owner of the bar (who's in prison now) telling me one time "you want to earn some real money, stick around after the bar closes." Well, that was when all the judges, city officials etc. would come in. They came in at that time because of course, they didn't want anyone to see them in such a dive. The only strippers that stayed after the bar closed were me and the owner's wife. I'm sure he chose me because I was the youngest one who worked there, and I had fewer battle scars than the other dancers, making me more attractive. The owner (Junior Ford) was a real prick. We could always take 'draws' on our cash. That would involve going downstairs, walking down this long dark hall and going into Junior's office to ask him for money. He would always be sitting at his desk, counting all his money, with a gun next to his counting hand. He finally got put away for prostitution and drug running. Like no one knew it was going on the whole time the bar had been opened; give me a break. There were cops that would come in there a couple times a night, and they would just turn their heads in exchange for one of us doing them a 'favor.' Damn pigs. That was in '83 and the song I would love to dance to then was 'Electric Avenue.' Haven't heard that song in years! The money I made at that time went mostly for heroin. Thank God those days are over.

Cin, I hope you get to go to AMG. It sounds like you've checked it out. I've never been to Mexico. The last time I was in an airplane was when I was 16 and flew to Phoenix. I liked flying. I don't know if I would now, because I have a very queesy stomach, and while it's not bad once you're in the air, the take-offs and landings are something else. Right now, I couldn't afford to fly anywhere. Hell, I can't even afford to take the city bus.

Well, I'm not sure what I'll get accomplished today. Maybe some research for my papers, maybe nothing. The papers aren't due for two more weeks anyway. I just hate waiting until the last minute. I won't be going to classes this summer, and I'm ready for the break. I've been going to school for a year and a half straight through, and I'm really burned out. Have a good one ladies-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

We were suppose to be doing laundry at 1 but my roomie is still sleep. I don't believe in waking people up because I don't like to be and become a bitch if someone does wake me up. Plus, she's needs to sleep in, she's been renovating a house all week. Tearing out tiles, toilets and stuff. She's still not done, she has to go back tomorrow. The last load for laundry I think is at 9 pm anyway and by then usually no one is there. I hate to be in a packed laundry mat. Last time we were there someone's kid tried to steal our fabric softner. I hate when people's kids has no home training!!!

Nothing else going on today. Sunday is usually my day to lay back. I'll probably blog a bit later on. Play my games for a few, I'll check back in later..

Hello Ladies,I'm Cheetara74 (aka Colette)...33 yr old female from New Jersey. I've been reading the posts in this thread. Ladies, I've enjoyed reading them. Some of you ladies crack me up! LOL I'm glad there is a forum where women can talk about real shit... real issues. I'm married (have been since 1998) but legally seperated (since 2001). We haven't divorced yet because he wants me to keep his healthcare coverage (medical, dental, vision, etc...). He is poz too... so he understands the importance of having healthcare coverage. I've been poz since 1995 and was diagnosed after I served in the Army. I don't have any children. I've been thinking about dating again but I haven't made any attempts to "date". I'm currently on disability due to health complications and several hospitalizations. Before disability, I worked full-time for an advertising agency which specialized in pharmaceutical marketing. Since my departure, I heard the agency dissolved within a year. Anyway, switching to disability from a regular salary wasn't easy at all. Talk about making some adjustments...LOL Thankfully, my husband provides spousal support but I am so used to earning my own money...it's hard to swallow. I'm a recovery alcoholic/addict. Hard liquor and cocaine were my drugs of choice. I had a DWI in 2003 and totaled my car in 2006 plus totaled 1 other vehicle... I should of had another DWI and hauled off to jail but one of the cops that came on the scene...was a guy I used to date back in high school before I became poz. He risked his career to cover for me. Yesterday, I celebrated a year being clean and sober. Also, I battle depression/schizophrenia with medication and professional help. I live one day at a time...

Welcome to the Forums, Cheetara, I've seen you here a few times before, I believe. If you'd like to read more on our histories, there is a great thread that was started last year. I think most of us put our stories in there. Its called "By Way Of Introduction" in the Positive Women's section. http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=11765.0Congrats on your one year anniversary of being clean and sober. A lot of women in these threads can relate to your story as well, not just the HIV, so you've found a good place to be. Now have you read ALL of the threads from last summer up until now? LOL It takes forever! I swear I am going to write a book.....

One thing I remembered about AMG is that there is money that can be given out to help people get there, if they want to go. Maybe its grants or donations from other Forum members, but there IS a way. Some of you should check into it. Mexico is by far THE cheapest place to travel to.....I don't know what I'll do, all of my expenses would have to go on a credit card, but I do have a tax return and the "economic stimulus package" check coming my way later this summer. The main thing is being scared of traveling alone.

Its fun reading about you GFs, Queen and BT, workin' the pole or sliding, lol. BT losing a pasty, omg! Yep, you sweat and OFF they go! I should boogie down and have Iceman video tape me, and Cheech, too. Wouldn't that be a riot for you girls to see? I could put a link on youtube, lmao! Don't worry, Queen, I dance like a fool when no one's watching, sometimes even when they ARE watching. Cheech must think I'm nuts, but he DOES like to join in, lol. He'll put his front paws up and we'll dance, hee hee.

Win, your pic is stunning, pretty girl you are!

Where are Cristy, Sun, Camms, Drag, confused........? And NY, check in and tell us how that little one is doing!

I cleaned, I mean REALLY cleaned the floors in my house today. Vacuumed, mopped, washed some walls, too. I am going to chill and then get ready for the big dinner. I hope my jeans aren't too tight tonight. I plan on eating a good dinner! LOL

Hey Cheetara, welcome. I know I've seen you post before, just can't remember exactly about what.

I've been around recovery since 1989. That time I was clean for seven years. This time around I have 2 years clean. Congratulations on your one year! That's truly a milestone. Please keep checking in with us. We love to hear from our ladies! I think that's great that your husband wants to cover you with his health insurance. But if you're on disability, don't you get your own Medicare? Of course, that's none of my business. You just take care of yourself, girl.

Oh, I got a pm from Cristy the other day. She's just not felt much like posting. Wishful has been a little sporadic also (girl, are you listening). Now, didn't Drag say she was going on a trip or something awhile back? It seems like she said something like that.

Cin, I hope you have a great dinner. Eat something good for me!

Queen, don't forget, The Wire is on tonight. Have you caught up on it? If you haven't, you'll be surprised about something involving Prop Joe. I won't give it away. I'm really gonna miss it when it goes off. HBO has had some good series on. I wonder if they're going to have anymore. I watched Entourage also.

Oh, btw, it wasn't sweat that caused the pastey to fall off. It was some kind of cheap glue. After awhile, the bar went topless. But that happened after I quit working there. OK, just checking in real quick. I'll check in later-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Glad to hear that Cristy hasn't fallen off the face of the earth. Iceman watches The Wire also, he'll be recording it tonight. I don't think its actually filmed in Baltimore, but I'll ask him. He was born and raised in Baltimore.

I am going to have filet mignon tonight, most definitely! I bet Iceman is going to order the salmon, I'll let you know! LOL

He just called a short while ago for the first time today, and then his youngest was crying upstairs. Seems she may be coming down with the chicken pox. I remember having the chicken pox when I was 13, the summer after 8th grade, so I didn't miss any school. I got them from my BF at the time.

Wouldn't you know Cheech tracked in mud onto the LR carpet after I vacuumed today. I have locked the doggie door for now. Sigh. He's snoring in the hallway, happy dude, that dog is.

Hey Cheetara...Welcome to the Forums and the dating thread,gf. You should fit in with the rest of us. Not that there is a requirement but a lot of us can relate, that's for sure. I went to meetings for a few back in the day to stop using crack and it helped. I guess many would still consider me an addict because of my weed use but I don't. I didn't go to meetings for that and now I smoke strictly to keep myself eating because this virus has stripped away my appetite. Congratulations on a year clean, that is an accomplishment.

Betty--- Girl, I have caught up on The Wire. I can't believe that Marlo had Prop Joe killed, that was messed up, I liked him. I think I know what you are talking about in regards to what Prop Joe did but not really sure what he did. Do you know what episode that was? Maybe I can see it again. I know Marlo went to some attorney but it looked like the attorney is setting Marlo up or something. I think Omar is going to take Marlo out. I am kind of sad because that means he will prolly end up killing Snoop. Yeah, HBO has had some good shows on, I still watch Rome since it is on HBO on Demand. I have watched Oz countless times and even the Sopranos though I was pissed about the ending.

Cindy-- I was never a stripper. I should've been one back in the day when I had the body for it. I give ladies mad props for doing it though. It's just messed up the rep that strippers get. I am sure there were some doing it to survive and possibly put themselves through school. That doesn't sound far fetched to me though there has been plenty of jokes.

Girl, being a DJ locally back in the day, all I use to do was dance. Fast dancing was my thing and my brother use to be one of my dance partners. I remember one time we were fast dancing and he grabbed a chair, sat down while I continued to dance around him. He was always a bit of a show off... Then there was this one bar I use to DJ at with another guy, he was always my Cha Cha partner. Those were the good old days when you could go out and still have fun. The dances the younger generation does now is simply one step away from having sex. And some of those dances would have me hurting myself..

Even with donations to go to AMG, I would still need a bit of money for hotel, food, and other stuff. I hate traveling anywhere broke. You know I would be trying to find some of the Mexican herb while there.. I know I couldn't bring any back with me but to say I actually tried some and knowing it is way better than the green here. It would be bliss along with some tequila and Coronas...

My roomie has finally arisen from slumber but now I really don't feel like doing any laundry. There is always tomorrow, maybe I can get it done while she is off working on the renovations to the house she is working on. And since it is President's Day nothing will be open that I need to make calls to. I don't know...

Have fun at dinner, Cindy. Steak sounds good especially medium rare. I could go for some shrimp too. I'll check back in a few ticks...

It feels good to be clean and sober for an entire year... My psychiatrist prescribed me Revia to control any urges I may get. So far, it has been helping me along with attending meetings. Congratulations on your clean time ladies.

It seems like I have been on the computer forever. Just had to look something up for school and print it out. It took all but two sheets of my remaining printer paper (it was 14 pages long).

Queen, I was referring to Prop Joe being killed. I didn't know if you had gotten that far yet. That was messed up. I think Omar will probably kill Marlo also. Something is going to happen-I can feel it. And what do you think of that cop who's lying about all those dead homeless people? He's an asshole anyway, and I for one hope he gets what he deserves. I've never watched Rome. I absolutely loved Oz! One of the detectives on Law & Order SVU is on there, and in one episode I saw a long time ago it showed him in full frontal nudity! Did you see that?

Cheetara, you are more than welcome. Do they have NA meetings where you're at for HIV+ people? That might be something good to check out. They don't have any here, but I have been to conventions where they had workshops about it, which were really good. I heard a fantastic speaker at one who was HIV+. That was like 13 years ago, though, and things were a lot different then. I don't take anything to control urges, and I really don't get any anymore. But, hey, whatever works. Meetings are a definite though.

And Queen, I don't consider you an addict. Like I said before, if pot didn't make me neurotic, I would still smoke it so I could eat better than what I do.

I'm aware that they provide funds for people to get to AMG. But, like Queen, I wouldn't have any money to take for food, souveniers etc. If I were to ever get to Mexico, I would definitely want a lot of money to indulge in some authentic Mexican food at least. And I think also it now can take up to 9 months to get a passport. Maybe some year.

Yes, medium rare is the only way to have steak. That sounds so good. Cin, if you bring any home, would you please hotwire it to me? Unfortunately I'm probably going to have to try to get down an egg-salad sandwich. I do like egg salad, but steak sounds so much more appetizing. I haven't had a good steak in an age. I'm going to have to try get my gay bff to take me out to eat at Outback soon. Having as they say, a champagne appetite on a beer budget sucks. Oh well, I know I have things to be thankful for, so I won't bitch too much. Have a good one ladies.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Thank you. I took that last night after my post Valentine date with Billy. I was feeling pretty good and had some fun with the camera. Billy and I went to Steak n Ale. We chose not to go out on Valentines day proper because I hate crowds. The restaurant was kinda crowded but we where seated in less than 10 minutes. Not so bad. The waitress said it was twice as bad on V-day.

Thought ya'll might get a kick out of one of my more funny photos. The look on my face was too funny.

Hello everyone! Welcome Cheetara! Glad to have you here. These ladies are great...they make me feel normal. Well saw he ex again and the saga continues...UGHHH! Time for a change.

Did not do much today. I have a load of stuff to grade and report cards to get ready but I don't really want to...can anyone say PROCRASTINATION? That is one of the things I have the most about teaching, besides the politics of it all. Just give me a classroom, kids, and a curriculum...

Tata for now!

Oh! Anyone watching Celebrity Rehab? I am hooked. They all seem so vulnerable. I hope I am not being offensive to anyone who has actually been in rehab.

Hello ladies. Viv, I don't think that comment was offensive, people are vulnerable when they are in rehab, it is very hard. Welcome Colette. The forums are a great place and the people here are wonderful. Betty, I was a stripper for 6 years and it is all about hustling. I tricked out of the bar sometimes. Usually when the price got over $300. Never wore pasties, so no worry there. You would have only had to wear them until you turned 18, or was it mandatory in your state. Couldn't now but wouldn't really want to anymore. I get enough of being looked at like meat lately, with my clothes on. But the money was very good. Hope everyone is well. I finally got some good green and am happily stoned most of the time. I am off work today and will be going to Walmart to get my meds. I kinda want to dye my hair but don't want to have to keep doing it so probably not. Maybe a washout dye will make me happy. Time to get going. Take care everyone and will try to post again soon. Cristy

Morning ladies:Cristy, at the time I was dancing, it was a law that everyone had to wear pasties. The strip bars in my town were all shut down. I find that funny, considering all the porn stores (Pleasurelands) are still open. Of course, the glory holes have all been covered, but please. The places aren't classy at all. I was just talking to another forum member over the weekend who told me that where he lives, they closed all the porn shops, but the strip clubs are still open. I think the moral right is hilarious with what they try to get accomplished. Oh, I couldn't strip anymore either, trust. It's been 25 years and lots of body changes. Oh, btw, I bleach my hair every month. I go to a beauty supply store to get the real stuff. It really doesn't take too long. Yes, try a wash out color. It can be fun to have different colored hair. I did dye my hair jet-black at one time. But my skin is too pale to have it that color. Viv, I procrastinate all the time. I'm doing it today as well. I need to get some laundry done, but I don't want to go to the laundermat. It's so cold, I hate to go anywhere and usually wait until I'm forced to do something. I saw Celebrity Rehab once and I thought it was funny how some guy who was in a wheelchair was throwing a fit because he couldn't have his cell phone. Puhleeze. And if I remember right, they had a swimming pool. The last rehab I was in, no one could have a cell phone; there were two phones in the hall that had a 10 minute time limit on them. The only time we got to go outside was for timed cigarette breaks.

OK Queen, where are you girl? Did you watch 'The Wire' last night? And Cin, I'm waiting to hear about your date with Ice! Do you have any leftover steak?

Wendy, that is a good picture of you. We have a Steak and Ale place here also. I'm like you-I hate being in a crowded restaurant.

Well ladies, I'm off to check out a few more threads. The sun's in and out, but I don't think it's supposed to be out much. I need to get some printer paper today and some cigarettes. I really have nothing exciting to report this morning. I'll check in a bit later-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I don't know what was going on with me yesterday, all I did was sleep. I wasn't ill or anything, not even really tired but I just slept off and on til I woke up about 10 minutes ago. Betty, I did get to watch The Wire last night. It's funny how McNulty lying seems to have helped everyone out except the politicians. I kind of like what he did and hope he doesn't get busted for it.

Well, now my ears are clogged which is just great. My hearing aids seem to cause a lot of wax build up in my ears. I have tried using the ear irrigation products but none of those seem to help. I think my left ear is draining. I need to go back to the ENT but I'll worry about that later.

I wonder how Cindy's date went too, I guess she'll fill us in later.Nothing special going on today. I'll chat later..

Yes, Queen, the McNulty story is amusing. I just have this feeling he'll get caught. And probably take a few down with him. And I wonder how long it will be before Omar gets to Marlo. I can't believe he (Omar) jumped out of that window that was several stories up and just got a hurt leg out of it. I'll definitely miss this series when it goes off.

Well, I'm making lunch. I'll check back in later.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Goddess, I am in a mood. I just got off the phone with my gas company. I am on a so called budget plan which has me paying out $253 a month. Now this is not what I am using in gas but what the previous tenant used. For months they have been giving me an estimated gas bill til Jan. 30. Then I get a letter that says they have tacked on $202 more dollars to my bill. Just freaking great. Now I got a bit of funding from LIHEAP which covered my budget plan for this month but I told the lady, there is no way I can cover next month's bill and asked her what can I do. She suggested another program called LIRA but to be able to get on that program, you have to have your bill paid in full. I have a remaining balance of $381. Now if I can't cover the $253, how in the hell would I be able to pay $381!!!! And in order for me to get weatherization, the whole apartment building would have to be done and not just my apartment. I asked the woman, what could I do? She says well don't pay the bill and get a termination notice...What? I can't afford for my gas to be shut off and I told her this due to medical problems. She says if it gets shut off that Crisis(another program) would cover the cost. Ok, I know about Crisis but those people are swamped every year which means I would be w/o gas for prolly a month or so before they could even help. Now mind you, my bill didn't fall behind for skipping payments but due to the price of gas and a poorly insulated apartment. This truly sucks. Now what am I suppose to do??? I guess freeze to death in my apartment.....

Oh dear, Queen. Is there no other social service that could help you? How the hell do they expect someone to pay such a high gas bill? If it were me, I would definitely think of moving. But of course, that's easier said than done. I truly hope there's a way that can provide you some help. Please keep us updated! And here's a {{{HUG}}}

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Oh dear, Queen. Is there no other social service that could help you? How the hell do they expect someone to pay such a high gas bill? If it were me, I would definitely think of moving. But of course, that's easier said than done. I truly hope there's a way that can provide you some help. Please keep us updated! And here's a {{{HUG}}}

I have gone through all the social services that my quaint little town has to offer. I have one option but not sure if it will work. I have to get in contact with my doctor and see if he can send paperwork to the gas company. Not guaranteed he will do it but if he does, it will buy me 30 days, I think. If not then I have to wait on the termination notice and pray crisis will help me. I still plan on moving just waiting for winter to be over and the section 8 office. Until then, I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

The gas is for heat and cooking but the thing is, we don't even cook that much. The heat usually stays on 70. I have talked to my landlord about this and basically he wants the weatherization program to do the work for him but there is a list for that program.

Queen~ I know the last thing you want to do is pay for winterization on your own, but....I have heard that the plastic covers (looks like clear Saran Wrap) that go over your windows really do a good job of keeping out drafts. You could check WalMart or Home Depot to see about pricing. Who knows, it may really make a difference. Has anyone here tried these over their windows before? You cut them to size and seal them with heat from a hairdryer.

Iceman and I had a very nice date. He got a prime rib which was as big as his foot, and he wears an 11-1/2! LOL He couldn't finish it, so we brought it back to my place. I knew he would forget to take it this morning, so let's just say that Cheech is a very lucky doggie!

Iceman was SO anxious to get through dinner and get back to my place! It was kinda cute. I made him repair my brake light on the passenger's side which had blown out last week, I knew that it would happen sometime. Iceman and I had a very romantic evening, but next thing I know its 2am and I still haven't fallen asleep. It got very mild here last night and I was hot and restless. Cheech and Iceman were double-teaming me with "Dueling Snores" and I even had earplugs in. I was so pissed that I finally sat up in bed around 3am, wondering how I would get to work today on no sleep. Iceman was really sweet and I kept apologizing for waking him up. He asked if he had been snoring..... Iceman went downstairs and barricaded Cheech down there so he couldn't come upstairs and snore, lol. I slept from about 4am - 5am. Then the alarm went off and I slept another hour. I did good at work today, didn't crash and burn. Amazing.

A few people are getting sick with headaches and upset tummies at the office. I have been popping Advil and eating bland food. Well, except for my Girl Scout cookies.

Hi Everyone,Hope everyone is doing well! I picked up the bug my son(his urine test came back OK) had and have been feeling like crap for the last week. It didn't help that with last weeks rain our basement got flooded and I had to be out in knee deep water trying to get the water to go away from our house. I missed the appt. with the therapist and for the peer support group but hopefully I should be able to go this week. I am going Wed for my numbers. Winiroo- I love your new pic! You look great!Queen- I keep meaning to tell you on www.myphotobucket.com that you can upload your digital pictures to share with other people and it has a thing to make your own avatar, I haven't tried it but I thought I would let you know it was there. I feel you on the gas bill. We have electric heat and in the winter months my bill is at least $400/mo and we don't even keep the heat on in our room downstairs. Does your ASO have any money? When I went and met my case manager he told me that the ASO around here had done a fundraiser and was actually giving out money again because they got more than they thought they would. Sounds like the perfect thing to have your case manager look into for you.Cheetara- Welcome and Congrats on your anniversary!Betty- I'm gonna have to say Anthony Hamilton for the famous person I would sleep with, I love his voice and I think my SO looks like him I love the Wire too. I found out a couple weeks ago I can watch next weeks episode a week ahead on On Demand. I can't believe McNulty, I love the scene where he was screwing the women outside on the car and just holds up his badge to the cops driving by and keeps on going. The man definately has some balls.Hope everyone is doing well.Take care, Snow

I have thought of a title for our next thread. Leapin Lizards, It's A Leap Year, So Take The Leap And Get A Date. Now not sure if its to long and I was not sure what the next numeral number would be or look like. If some of you like the title and can tell me what the next numeral should look like, I will create a thread. I thought maybe it would be fun to have each member take turns creating a title. Let me know what you think about that.

Well, Today I got my fat ass out and went for a run. Why would I do such a thing? One because I am participating in the Law Enforcement Special Olympics Torch Run, and because my ass is getting big and its not from lypo either. If anyone would like to make a tax dectuble donation, PM me and I will give you a link to my web page.

Things are working out well the roomie. Today we went to Costco and he cooked dinner tonight so that was nice. Its almost like having a husband but with out the sex and I get the whole bed to my self.

Still have not talked to the Latin Lover, but that is OK because I have been talking to another Latin guy who is hot, hot, hot. He sent me a flirt and I decided to email him. The only bummer is he lives down south, but that is OK. A plane ride is only 2 hours to get to him or to me. But we are not at that stage yet.

Snowangel- Those babies are so cute. My best friend had her baby today. He is very cute. Can't wait to meet him this summer, since he lives in another state.

Winn- I love that new picture of you, what a catch you are, you are very pretty.

Moon- I am glad your valentines day was great with Iceman. Sorry you are lacking in sleep.

**** I want to welcome the new member who joined the forums. Forgive me but when I scroll down I cannot get to your recent post and I am afraid that I will loose what I have typed. So welcome and I look forward to getting to know you better.

I know I have missed a few people and I am sorry for that but I have company coming over and need to get going. So I am sorry. Hope you all are doing will.

Sun, I believe the next thread will be #XX. Now, Cin correct me if I'm wrong. Roman numerals are not my best subject. Oh Sun, good luck with this new Latin guy. I probably would not spend money on airfare to get meet someone. But hey, maybe things would work out. Good luck on the running too. I couldn't do it.

Snow, those babies are adorable.

Nothing exciting here to report. I think I'm pretty much finished with the homework for 1 of my classes. I've got two more papers for the other one (ethics). I'll try to knock that out this weekend.

Queen, have you talked to your case manager at your ASO? Sometimes they can help with bills. I know you know what you're doing. Oh, I have used the visqueen (sp?) in the past to cover windows that let a lot of the cold in. They work quite well. I don't know if that would help or not. Girl, I hope things work out for you with the heat. This is no time of the year for that.

Well, that's all from me for tonight. More tomorrow.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Not much going on with me. I am kind of in a funk about my gas bill. I will call my ASO and talk with them today. I hate to say it but I'm not expecting any help from them either. But I shall check into it. Other than that, I really don't have much to say.

I'm taking my daughter in law to the Dr today for a scheduled exam. Her due date is tommorrow. If she doesn't have the baby by the 24th at 9pm they will induce labor. Looking forward to seeing what the baby will look like.

Queen, I really hope something can be worked out. This must be such an awful stressor for you. Please hang in there.

Wendy, congratulations on the upcoming birth. Will this be your first grandchild? I have two grandchildren and they are so much easier to take care of than what our own children were. I think that's because we're only responsible for making them happy. All the 'icky' stuff is kind of on their parents.

It's only like 12 degrees here today. I wish I didn't have school tonight. I hate going out when it's this cold. The sun was out for a little while earlier, but now it's back to being dull grey. I haven't really felt too good today. Nausea, diarrhea, general tiredness. And I ache, a lot. I thought about taking my cane to class tonight, as we have to do an 'oral paper' thing. I don't feel like being on my feet and walking around. I guess it's just one of those days. I'll check back in later-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I did call my ASO and got a hold of my twice a week case manager. I told her that I exhausted all my options short of letting the gas get turned off which is what I am trying to avoid. She said she will put in some calls and try to get back with me today. If not today then I am stuck waiting to hear back from her next week. And today is only Tuesday. And yeah, the stress is beginning to kick in. I am still trying to get in with the therapist but hasn't gotten a call back from them either. I will get back on the phone tomorrow and try to schedule an intake before I end up going ballistic on someone at the gas company. I think they still got a problem with me because I sicked the Federal Trade Commission on their asses back when I moved in here. I am sure they have all that stuff noted.

My roomie is out working on renovations still. I have to take the garbage out but I am procrastinating because I know it is cold as hell out there. I haven't even checked the mail yet and if I have any, it's been here since this morning. I am off to watch the latest episode of The Wire on HBO on Demand,will check in later...

Edited to Add---Betty, Girl, You better watch the latest episode of The Wire, you are going to be shocked. I know I was....

Well, I didn't go to class. I'm so burned out on school. I keep telling myself there's only 10 weeks to go until summer break. Two weeks of the classes I have now, then 8 weeks of new classes. Actually, I'm pondering whether to stay in (school). Of course, this will feeling will probably pass.

Queen, I hope you heard back from your case manager today. It would drive me crazy having someone at my ASO who only worked twice a week.

Nothing going on tonight. I received a copy of 'Gia' in the mail today that I'm going to watch in about an hour. Then, I will probably watch the latest episode of 'The Wire' since you, dear Queen, seem to think it's kind of unbelieveable. I can't wait to see what's going to happen now. Check in later-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Yup, heard back from my case manager and she's right with the rest of them. Nobody can do anything until my gas gets shut off or a termination notice comes. Isn't that some shit. She suggested one place but I have already talked to them, all they can give is $50 and I told her this. She seems to think that would help but actually it won't, not when my budget plan is $253 and in order for me to get on this one program my bill has to be paid in full which is $381. I feel like I have to rob Peter to pay Paul which ends up making me behind in another bill. It is all getting frustrating to say the least. Maybe when I freeze to death then someone will want to do something.

I'm glad you finally got Gia, that is a good movie, tell me what you think after you watch it. Well, about The Wire, you'll know what I mean when you see it. I don't want to give anything away.

Hi everyone-Queen- I hope you heard back from your case manager too. I hope they are very organized since they work so few hours. The Wire was definately a shocker, I just hope the season ending is better than the Sopranos was.

Betty- I don't blame for not wanting to go out when it is cold out. I am the same way. There is a light at the end of the tunnel if you only have 10 weeks left. I don't know how you do it, I suck at the concentration thing these days. How was Gia?

Sun- The thread things sounds like a good idea to me. I don't have a clue about Roman Numerals either. Too bad we are not closer , I would love to start jogging again too. One of these days I am at least going to start walking so I get ready to do my second March of Dimes walk with the kiddos. Good luck with the new Latin Lover and I am glad to hear that your roomate is working out.

Win- How exciting! Congrats on your soon-to-be grandchild!!

Moon- What's your favorite girl scout cookie? I love the Mint ones and the ones that have the choclate, carmel and coconut. I haven't bought any yet this year, cookies go quick in my house especially during school vacation. I have to say I think of you everytime I run into an idiot driver, they seem to be everywhere these days.

I didn't do much today. I was going to go to the laundry mat with a bunch of clothes. That didn't happen. I have a septic tank and I can only 2 or 3 loads here a day so needless to say I am waaaaayyyyyyy behind. When I finally get around to washing all the clothes my donation pile will probably be bigger than the clothes I need to put away, the kids have been growing like weeds. It's hard to believe they were only like 3 or 4 lbs in the pic to the left. Betty and Sun- Thanks for the kind words since they still looked like little aliens at that point....really, really, small aliens

I did take the kids to the cheap movie night and we saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was a lot better than I thought it was going to be, cute kids movie. I wanted to go see Spiderwick but I got out voted

I am going to my first visit with the therapist tomorrow and I am laughing my ass off because everytime I mention it my SO gets this wierd look and says "You don't need a therapist!" I think he is afraid. Ha, ha, he should be

Queen, I don't know why these organizations aren't helping you more. I don't understand why they want you to wait until your gas gets shut off. Do they want you to get ill? It seems like they would help people who have medical conditions before the gas got shut off. It seems anymore that trying to get help from agencies is next to impossible. I sure hope something works for you. I didn't get to see the end of 'Gia.' For some reason, it went into the next movie. I'll mess with it tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing that episode of 'The Wire.' Snow, I don't think those little ones look like aliens. They are so precious. How old are they now?

Nothing else to report. Sometimes life is just one long, boring day after another. Maybe when spring rolls around, things will heat up. Later ladies-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Just got home a short while ago. Had my massage straight from work and then went to Iceman's for about 45 min. So, I got home at 930pm or so. Cheech had the last of the prime rib so he is all doggie smiles.

I ran into the same prob with DSS last summer on unemployment. I wanted to "plan ahead" and get some help with my electric bill. They couldn't do shit unless I had a late notice. It was ridiculous, and I didn't pay late, thank goodness. That last job came through and helped some, but it was tough. I feel your pain, Queen. Get those window covers. Its a cheaper fix and will really help.

Snow, I am almost sick right now cause Cheech and I shared about ten Samoas cookies. Oh, pardonnez-moi, they are called Caramel Delights these days. Samoas to me, all the same. Those and Tagalongs with the peanut butter inside are my fave. Maybe I missed it, when were the kids born? And, yes, I entertain myself driving as a commuter now. I cuss out everyone, esp the short people who look like their car is going down the road unmanned. Sit up and look out the FRONT window. LOL Never a dull moment in the Nation's second worst traffic area -- DC Metro. Sheesh.

BT~ I hope you feel right again soon, its not like you to skip class. GF you are burning yourself out. I don't know how you do it. If I went back to school it would be for accounting. Yes, you were correct on the Roman numeral 20, its "XX." Sun, we always take turns doing the threads, whoever is around makes up the next one. But sure, you take dibs on XX and start it up tomorrow when we get to 100 posts or so on XIX (19). Its a cool title. And a few words of advice? DO NOT travel to see a man. DO NOT, lol! You wait long enough and look hard enough, there will be a worthy one in your zip code. We don't want you to be a leg-humper, GF! Just say "NO!" LOL If he's that cute, his nice tight ass can come up to see YOU. OK, had to vent there for a GF in need!

Win going to be a Gramma? Oh my! I have to say this cause its on my mind....I hope everything works out for the very best. Seems you were very young when you had your son, and now he is going to be a father at an early age? Best wishes to all of you. Do you know what the baby will be? And the baby will be a Pisces, that's a great sign!

OK, I see my Megadeth avatar has gotten Queen and BT all hot and bothered. Queen has skeletons getting it on, and BT is gonna get the whips and chains out. Maybe it was subliminal, but my goodness we're quite the group! Hardcore bitches here, lmao! Better not let Flav find out about us, lol.

Off to bed, up too late, but missed all of you. I saw Viv reading as I went to post, Hi GF!

To answer some on the gas situation. It blows my mind that I have to literally wait on a termination notice. Is it my fault gas prices are high and this apartment is not insulted? I didn't ignore your advice, Cindy. I will eventually get out to WalMart and see if they have some of that stuff. I wasn't late on a bill with them or anything like that. And now even if you get a letter from a doctor, you still have to have the freaking termination notice and the doctor's note does not get you 30 days anymore but 2 weeks. I just want to bang my head up on something. And still can't get a hold of the freaking therapist. What gives? Do I need to have another meltdown? It certainly looks that way.

Yeah, I don't know what made me put th bones up in my avatar. I was just switching up. I will include one at the end of this post which is something I'd love to tell the gas company, my case manager and the people who have been hating on my blog....

tendai

Win - I almost sent this reply with Ya'll are too mice. LOLCould have been worse. u could have said "Y'all are two mice". and congrats on the baby Granny

Snow - your babies are too cute. guess u have to make the most of the time u have now while the cant walk or talk. i can only imagine what it'll be like for you once they're up and about. And my celebrity would be Terrence Howard. That guy is too handsome for his own good.

Queen - sorry about the gas thing. i hope its fixed soon.

Betty - u mentioned u were preferred to perform in the club where u used to work because u were younger and had less battle scars. Battle scars? Do u mean actual scars. I got this picture in my head of some old woman with stab scars all over her face and body dancing on around a pole naked. And whats a pasty? I'm ignorant here, strippers are non-existent here. At least not publicly. I think.

Sun - sorry things didnt work out with LL. And your housemate sounds great. Its nice having a guy cook for u innit? My bf used to cook when i went to his place. *sigh* wish i could go back to those days. Keep us posted of LL2 or whatever u decide to call him

Christy - what did u decide to do with your hair? u guys are so lucky u dont have to go through the trauma of braiding and weaving and unbraiding and combing and relaxing and all that shit we go though just to get our hair to look nice. On TV in South Africa theres so many bald women now. some of them look nice some dont. i dont think i could ever be as brave as to go that far.

Good Morning Ladies! I am soooo tired this morning and I don't know if I am trying to catch something or what. I don't think I mentioned this before but I have a dog named Vivian. "Vivyt" is what I call her. She is a terrier mix and is 5 yrs old. I had a Westie that died this summer unexpectedly...she wasn't even 4 Anyways...my dogs have always gone to daycare when I am at work. I know, I know...what in the world is doggie daycare? Well the play with other dogs all day and interact with people. I don't have children so they (she now) are my kids. So I took Vivian in on Monday like always and I guess she got hurt playing w/another dog. The doctor said she was fine but she shouldn't come to play for a week. Well she is totally different. I think she is really hurt. She is usually ex burant and has lots of energy but now she is moving around like an old lady. I feel so bad. I wish I could make her feel better. I am going to try to attach a picture. We will see what happens.

Queen, sometimes you just have to keep bugging a place (the therapist). It's a pain in the ass, literally. If you have another meltdown, I'm thinking I will be there with you.

Cin, I am burned out. I don't even know now if I want to finish this degree or not. I'm really thinking about dropping out. Or changing schools. There's a lot of 'uncool' politics going on at the university I go to. I used to like going to class. Now, I don't even want to go to my ethics class. And I love the man who teaches it and the course itself. I like courses that get a person thinking. But lately, it seems it's taking everything I have just to try to finish.

Tendai, pasties are quarter-sized round things that cover the nipples. When I spoke of battle scars, I meant my body didn't look 'old.' Oh, I couldn't do it now. I'm sure my body looks like I'm about 70. As far as the hair thing, well, I bleach my hair every month. And that leaves my hair quite dry, so I usually have to deep condition it once a week. And have to style it every day (at least every day I go out in public). My neighbor is a black lady and she shaves her head. It actually looks attractive on her.

Today it is freezing again. I should go out and at least start my car for a couple minutes. I didn't yesterday, so I hope it does start. I really need to work on my ethics paper. It's due next week and I think we have to give an oral presentation on it. I'm doing mine on the criminalizing of HIV transmission (sexually). I personally don't think it should be done. Of course, here in Indiana it is a crime. I was looking on a website that has all 50 states and their laws re HIV transmission. Of course, Indiana's (where I live) is the longest. I'm sure it was written back in the stone ages of AIDS, as some of the language is outdated (a person can be charged with a felony regarding feces and urine if they have HIV). It's a proven fact that HIV can't be passed that way. I have to consider the redneck, backwards state I live in.

Honestly, it's been so cold here and grey, I wish I could move. And there's never anything to do here. I would really like to meet a nice lady, but the only place around here to do that is a bar called 'Truman's.' And most of the ladies that go there are young party animals. I was talking with Liz (some of you ladies might remember me talking about her before) and she said she would like to do some things together when I get out of school for the summer. I think that would be nice.

I've been thinking lately about my true sexual identity. I know I identify as bisexual. Actually, if I were to ever be in a relationship again, I would want it to be with a woman. Sex wise, it doesn't matter to me whether I have a man or woman. Or so I think. I'm starting to think I'm probably a lesbian instead of bisexual. But I'm not sure about that. That's something I'll be discussing with my therapist. I know he's guided many people through this type of thing. It would cause quite a scandal in my family if I were to come out to everyone. My oldest sister (the god) is a right-winger. My next to the oldest sister (the martyr) is pretty religious. Not to mention my father. He can hardly get over the fact that my brother's girlfriend is black. I don't think my oldest sister is crazy about that either. Can you imagine what they would do if I were to come out as being a lesbian? And if I were to ever take Liz to anything having to do with my family, well........ She is also black. Not that I care personally what they think of me. But I hate taking flack for being who I am. No, most of my family is not progressive. My brother & I are the most open-minded.

Well ladies, I'm off to check out a couple more threads and to eat breakfast. I'll decide then what I'm going to do today. Maybe nothing. I might just stay in my jammees all day. I'll check in later-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Betty – Yeah this will be my first grandchild. Fortunately it isn't my birth child who is expecting LOL its my step son. Grandma at 35 is strange but it beats me having a kid and starting all over.

Snow – Thank you on the congrats. I like thin mints too. Your right when babies are first born they don't look real cute. My daughter in law was excitedly talking about taking professional photos as soon as the baby was born. I told her she should wait till the baby is a month old for the professional shots. That's when they start to look cute. Not that she has the money anyway. I'm sure it will be one of the grandparents paying <not me> LOL

Cindy – My son Aaron is 18 but thankfully he hasn't impregnated any poor girl who thinks he is dreamy LMAO He is cute for a bum. Looks like a male version of his mother. Its Billy's son Jon who is 20 and playing house with my former foster daughter Amber who is 18. They where dating before she was ever in my custody. The baby is a girl her name will be Haley Katherine or some spelling variation of those two names. You know how young people like to make names look unique.

Tendai – Thank you LOL

Viv – Click to the left of the reply area where it says Additional Options...Click Browse, find the file you want, click on it and click Open. As long as the picture isn't too big it will attach to your post. If it is too big you will have to start all over and will loose anything you have written in the text box. So just incase it is too big, copy your post text so you wont have to retype it.