Fredericton cat thinks he’s people

Fredericton — Reginald Cattington II, who resides on the capital city’s south side, lives a very distinguished life: he sits at a fancy table, he wears fancy clothing and he eats the world’s fanciest of foods. What makes Cattington special, though, is the fact that he’s a house cat. But, don’t tell him that, because he thinks he’s people.

“It all started shortly after we got him,” expressed an enormously proud Amanda Wheaton. “The first day we had Reggie home, we were eating dinner and he jumped right up into the chair beside me and put his cute little paws up on the table — just as if he was people!”

Wheaton said that up until then, the family had a more traditional cat name for their new feline companion: Mr. Fluffy.

“We knew we couldn’t let him keep a silly name like that if he thought he was a person,” she explained. “So we gave him a real name so he wouldn’t be confused. I don’t think there’s a Reginald Cattington the first, but we thought adding ‘the second’ would make him sound more distinguished.”

Wheaton and her boyfriend, Brock Slaney, began buying high-end cat food for their new family member, along with a wardrobe and some books filled with pictures of yarn, birds, mice and different shaped and sized boxes.

“We knew Reginald wasn’t going to be partaking in any kitten-ish behaviours like chasing laser pointers or anything,” explained Slaney. “He’s not like that — he loves to sit quietly at the table with a teacup of cold milk while reading.”

The Manatee was able to locate a few friends of the Fredericton couple who seemed somewhat concerned with their friends’ treatment of their cat.

“It’s pretty weird if you ask me,” quipped Kelly Darwin, a lifetime friend of Wheaton. “They dress their cat up and whenever we have dinner there, the cat sits at the table with us. Amanda gets annoyed if we don’t include Reggie in the conversation — we even have to buy him a birthday present every year.”

Darwin went on to tell our reporter that she has to be very careful about what to buy for Cattington, and that she’s pretty stressed as the cat’s birthday is coming up next month and she doesn’t know what to get him.

“Amanda lost her shit with me last year,” recalled Darwin, “all because I got Reggie a cute little ball to play with that had a bell that jingled and a little string that came out of it. Amanda demanded that I take the toy back and be more thoughtful in the future.”

When our reporter asked Wheaton about Cattington’s upcoming birthday celebration, she was full of excitement. “We’re going to make this the best day of Reginald’s life! I can’t wait for him to see the new suit and tie I had made for him.”

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