Rumor has it that America’s tombstone, now being chiseled at the Muslim Monument Outlet Store in a mall near you, will have two lines:

“You can’t fix stupid.”

“They tried.”

Here are a few cases in point.

By the time most people reach adulthood, they have learned that those shiny, plastic credit cards the banks send to you have spending limits. Most of us learn this while standing in the checkout line. There is an embarrassing delay, then the store clerk hands the card back and says, “Sorry, it was declined.”

In a few days, the Treasury Department will hand the Democrats back their shiny, plastic credit card guaranteed against future generations of Americans and say: “Sorry, it was declined.”

The Democrats, standing in the checkout line and itching to buy more votes, are embarrassed. Horror of horrors! What do we do? Well, as all the financial gurus tell us, you might start by making a budget.

The Republicans in the House of Representatives, representing the few adult people in America who still actually produce something and pay taxes to every imaginable local, county, state, federal and fictitious entity for that privilege, have declined to raise the card’s spending limit.

Speaking of budgets, how did the NSA get more than $80 billion a year, each year since 2001, to spy on American citizens via their cell phones and personal computers?

Oh, there was no budget. So who knew? How convenient.

It’s funny, though. I thought the Constitution required the government to have a warrant before they could pry into your personal affairs. So I guess Americans who disagree with how government spends the money it takes away from them in taxes are terrorists and live in another country? So the espionage was really legal? Is that the story now?

Speaking of terrorists, the IRS (look for the union-made label) threw the last presidential election to Obama by suppressing Republican and conservative funding via the same type of nonprofit electioneering groups they routinely rubber-stamped and hurried out the door for Democrats.

As a union-run organization, IRS would already have on staff the necessary thugs, without calling on Obama or Reid for advice or reinforcements. So I guess this must be a secret executive order type of affirmative action for Democrats?

“I have a dream … that there will no longer be a Republican anywhere in this land to vote for!” How many generations will the Skull and Crossbones order of the Supreme Court rule that this affirmative action is to continue? Until the entire nation (excluding, of course, Washington, D.C.) is reduced to the level of Detroit?

And speaking of this land, let’s take a look at the EPA. This organization has drifted so far from its original congressional mandate that it would be unrecognizable by its congressional founders.

The courts have ruled that it is a-OK for the EPA bureaucrats to legislate new administrative authorities for themselves, however, as long as they meet in presumably smoke-free backrooms. EPA’s primary mission now seems to be the uncompensated taking of private property for public benefit.

Isn’t that communism? How does that work with a government that was formed to protect private property from government takings? I guess we will never know, because EPA bureaucrats use private email accounts to shield their activities from the public.

To this Godzilla bureaucraftic display, we could also add the federal Education Department, which educates exactly zero children. But it has a huge, ever-growing staff to tell every state, county, city and rural school district, administrator and teacher exactly how they must educate each and every child.

I suppose this department is necessary because if children (and educators, for that matter) were exposed to original texts regarding the founding of America and our very brief history on the world stage, those children and even their parents might come to understand that they have been fed a steady diet of toxic lies, damned lies and statistics by the corrupt, union-run educational establishment.

“Do it for the children” just disguises how much public money the educational unions have taken to enrich themselves and their members, while consigning the kids in their care to involuntary servitude for the ever-growing federal establishment. But then, there is the union retirement to consider. Perhaps that is really why we need more illegal immigrants to enter the country and actually work and pay taxes?

In the end, it all comes down to choices. The day after nonessential spending was curtailed by the debt limit, do you give half-a-billion dollars to the Public Broadcasting System, as Obama did? Or do some Democrats from the Senate go down to the World War II Memorial and open it themselves for the visiting World War II vets who were inconvenienced by the shutdown?

Come to think of it, why didn’t some Republicans do that, and serve them sandwiches from the congressional cafeteria? After all, without the vets’ service, neither Republicans or Democrats would be here today.

Obama decided to put barricades and barbed wire around the memorial. How symbolic. D.C. with its government castle, drawbridge standing up over the moat and pots of boiling oil on the roof, ready to pour down on the American barbarians storming the seat of government for redress of grievances.

Choices. We all make them. Even the government.

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