Welcome to DVAM Challenge 9. We’re keeping it short and simple today. Understand your importance as a friend. What you say and do can really make a difference in someone’s story. If a loved one confides in you that they are experiencing abuse, believe them and be there for them. This doesn’t mean you have to “fix” their situation for them. They may just need to feel that they are not alone. You can do so much just by listening and not judging them.

Today, share this message and spread the idea that victims of domestic violence should be met with support from their family and friends.

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I was in an emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive marriage for 25 years. I thought i was going insane. my husband made fun of me, critized constantly, took away priveledges if a mistake was made, called me a loser, checked the tire treads near the driveway and would punish me if they matched my car…only did what he wanted to, lied constantly, and had many outside sexual relationships. he sped over 100 lmilesd an hour with my children in the car, took away my use of the car garage when he found a small scratch on our van…i have been away from him for almost 3 years. I tried collaborative dicorce which I highly discourage!! Collaborative divorce has no court orders, so anything the abuser does during the divorce proceedings can’t be stopped. He is still controlling and abusing through emails, texts, and non-support of alimony and child support. It took me several years to get the courage to get out…some days are still rough, but I am so much happier and at pease now. My goal is to raise awareness and educate people regarding emotional and mental abuse. Even though i wasn’t hit, i have suffered so much PTSD from his insidious abuse. Abuse is wrong, wrong, wrong….

Yay for you that you have gotten out of that situation. It’s great that you are happier and at peace now. Every day in your new life is another day filled with your own choices and being able to do things simply because you want to. Bless you as you continue to step into your own power.

when a person tell the story about how much she endure you think that will never happened to you and no one can’t imagine how the partner that you think that you know more will cheat or lies to you. I was naive and believed on him that much untill one day when my husband told me that he had a affair and she is from Jamaica like him. I wasn’t that upset cause our relation did not work for more than 2 years so i take very easy untill one day he putt his gun on my head tell me that he hated the air that i respire .

What a horrific experience. I hope that you are in a safer environment at this time. If you need any guidance and support or numbers for counseling an advocate at the National Domestic Violence Hotline would be here to talk to you 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233. Thank you for reaching out to our blog community.

I was raped repeatedly by someone I trusted as a friend. I finally got away from that person, reported it, etc. All my friends just tell me “I don’t want to get involved” even after he contacts them. He lies to them about me and turns them against me. I am still being victimized and no one will help. He is an attorney so now he is filing everything he can to harass me. I lost my job after he attacked me and he is still attacking me and no one will help =(

What a terrible experience you have endured. I am sorry that your friends are not giving you the support that you need and deserve. There are options that can be discussed with an advocate at the Hotline. What about obtaining a protective order? In some states you may be able to collect unemployment if you have lost your job because of domestic violence. I am concerned for your safety, following is a link about ways to stay safe: http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/safety-planning/

Please give us a call at 1-800-799-7233, advocates are available 24/7 and can talk to you about safety and options. We can also find a local referral for sexual assault counseling if needed. Thank you for reaching out to the Share Your Voice Blog.

I am sure your friends and family are trying to be supportive by telling you to leave. They may not understand that it is not so easy, especially if you are unemployed or dependent on him. Please give the Hotline a call 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 and an advocate can discuss options with you and find referrals in your area. Thank you for reaching out to our blog community.

Today my tears are ones of the happiness of my children, very accomplishments I have made.” I welcome every new day…the eggshells, stress and fear are swept away. ”

Victim/Survivor…mother of twin daughters , 6yrs emotional/psychological abuser/alcholic…moved US state to state, away from family support never let me work, threaten kids and I with police and taken my kids away. Now starting over for 3rd time…legal separated , now he’s manipulating legal system. Slapping False abuse allegations on me, x2 in 3 months. It’s Ok we are free ……and just shows how amicus he is, for my perment custody case…so instead of fear..I’ll fight my children’s happiness is the the future..I’m sueing him for defamation since family court won’t do anything…DON’T GIVE UP!!! Get out, forget about what happened courts don’t care anyways if emotion or battery..unless you have a mark..(and that what hurt the most what me and kids went through and courts dont protect us..)I hope seeing him will make him stop harassing manipulating me and children…I do my dance ea time I win in court to my theme song down the court stairs” WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU” by Kelly Clarkson

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