Guys, could you love a girl who cuts herself?

Most Helpful Guy

It may be a bit of a shitty answer, but the answer is 'it depends'. My ability to love a person is based on a very complex set of interpersonal interactions. Self harm can be a challenging issue to overcome, but it is not impossible, and it is not enough to scare me away if there are other things that line up well. A girl who self harms is way more than just "a girl who self harms". That is not what defines her. Is she a kind person? Does she like the things that I like? Is she smart? Can she hold a conversation? Does she want to get better? Is she cute? Can she have fun, even if she has had a hard time dealing with emotions in the past? So many things would modify the answer. But for a short answer, that wouldn't be enough for me to say no.

It can be a hard thing for a lot of people to deal with. You need someone that is empathetic so they can understand where the person is coming from and accept them as a person, but not so empathetic that they take on the person's problems as their own, because then they can drown in the emotional turmoil the person deals with. And that 'strength of will' plus 'emotionally supportive and empathetic' combination seems to be rare. It is not impossible to find though, it just takes more patience. Or a willingness to look in places others don't. It's not the kind of person you will find picking up girls in a bar, for example.

The key here is "who cuts herself". I probably could love a girl like this but I wouldn't want to have a relationship with someone that toxic. If it was in the past and she was actively improving it would be different.