Sunday, July 06, 2008

Police sniffer dogs shake their bootees

Canine Detective Inspector Milo Plimsoll

Police sniffer dogs will have to wear bootees when searching the homes of Muslims so as not to cause offence.

Guidelines being drawn up by the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) urge awareness of religious sensitivities when using dogs to search for drugs and explosives. The guidelines, to be published this year, were designed to cover mosques but have been extended to include other buildings.

In an announcement which I am sure that you will applaud, I am happy to inform you that on those occasions (which I am confident will be extremely rare) when it is necessary to perform a search for explosives or drugs in the Old Smithy area of Wretchley -- be assured we on the Force will prosecute anyone using the term "no-go area" -- a new team has been formed to fully respect the sensitivity of inhabitants who are followers of The Prophet (pbuh).

Our search team will be led by Canine Detective Inspector Milo Plimsoll, pictured above. CDI Plimsoll has been thoroughly briefed on correct attire for explosives or drugs detection and seizure, in the unlikely event that such detection and seizure should occur.

In the spirit of reaching out to the community, I invite you to stop by Sensitivity Station no. 2844, only a camel trot from the mosque on Gorse Road, and meet all the members of the new team. Please provide 24 hours advance notice so that we can ensure that all squad members are wearing their proper kit.

Yours of the 10th has been received and noted with the greatest sensitivity. In response to your protest that "boots do not make an unclean animal clean in the eyes of a Believer," a special meeting of the Community Relations Council, chaired by the Anti-Terrorism Assistant Minister for Diversity (Acting) herself, was called yesterday. I am pleased to inform you that in the interest of harmony among our rich tapestry of citizens, a new policy is now in effect. Taking note that the equine species is in much favour among your community -- is there not a breed called Arabian? And did not The Prophet himself (pbuh) ride off to heaven on a steed called (I believe) Burqa? -- the search team has been thoroughly reconstituted. I invite you and all your community to stop by Sensitivity Station no. 2844 at any hour of day or night (no advance notice required) to acquaint yourselves with our new explosives inspectors.

Equine Detective Inspector Racing Stripe

Hoping that you will greet this gesture of respect with equine-imity, uh, scupper that, I meant to say with full acceptance,

4 comments:

yih
said...

Wil-l-l-l-b-r-r-r!They got ex-x-x-x-x-p-l-l-l-o-si-v-v-v-essss her-er-er-e!!!Sorry, couldn't help it :)But seriously, why won't ''the powers that be'' even TRY to explain to the Muslims ''seeing-eye, drug and explosives sniffing dogs are what the Koran call 'working dogs' (such as those used for guarding, shepherding and hunting)''.We see and hear PSA's all the time such as ''don't smoke'', ''don't do drugs'' and ''don't drive around lowered railroad crossings''.If we can't even ATTEMPT to civilize these 7th century third-world ''people'' we deserve what we get.''Houston: The pooch is now completely screwed. Over.''

Which is why I am more than a little suspicious of the Muslim (Yemenis) pet supplies store across the street from my apartment here in uber-tolerant east village. Why would a family of veil-clad women and robe-doning men who pray on carpets five daily run a dog food store? It's like something out of an al-Qaeda manual: "The infidel loves the company of unclean vermin, thus, as a sacrafice to Allah, you must pretend (Koran sanctioned recall) to love these beasts as a way to infiltrate their disgusting neighborhoods. BPA"

I just hope the NYPD or FBI or whomever is on to these guys b/c I live about three miles from the former WTC and over the last two years the number of veils, burkas and robes has gone from zero to about fifty a day. War on Terror and Muslim immigration is up thousandfold? What a joke. "Unles we fight them over there we'll have to fight them here....repeat...

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