"straight" guys who say they are curious

I would like to know from everyone especially bi guys, what do you guys think about guys who say they don't consider themselves gay that they are just curious.

Details: So I met this guy at the gym. I have seen him there every so often for a couple of months, I never talked to him, but i would see him in the lockers as i was changing to leave and he was just getting there to work out for the day. He would stare at me with those stares that almost signals i am gay, but i wasn't sure if it was a "don't look at me you fag" stares either.We were never naked when we stared either, so it wasn't like he was cruising me or anything.

Today I came in late and we left around the same time. I saw him outside and said hi to him. He offer a ride and I accepted.

As we talked, he eventually said he wasn't gay just curious. That he wanted to experiment, so he broke up with his girlfriend a month ago and wants to try to figure out himself. Him having a girlfriend made me think all those times he locked eyes, but he always looked away, he didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend, which makes me like him more. He said in the last month he had sex with two guys, he prefers to bottom since he never does that with girls.

So my question to bi guys who read this far, Did you go through a phase where you didn't considered yourself bi or gay, just a curious straight? Any opinions are welcome since I always find the forums informative and interesting even when they go off topic.

This post reminds of a porn I saw from Treasure Island Media. This guy was supposedly straight and conservative but liked sucking dick from time to time. Apprently he did it through glory holes and stuff... I don't get that at all.

If he was just curious he would have enjoyed his Google searches for gay sex videos or something. In the month since his girlfriend probably discovered she was dating a gay guy, he has already slept with two guys. I know plenty of out gay guys who broke up with boyfriends who did not jump as quickly into the sex/dating pool so fast. You can't just change the definition of words because you want to. If you have sex with other men you are either gay or bisexual, you are no longer straight. That box can't be checked when you put the dick in your mouth or ass. Sorry.

gage saidThey're gay. They may not know it, or understand it, or admit it. Yet in time they will admit it. That doesn't always mean they will live it! Yet they will know it.

Clearly, the guy is bisexual to some degree. Otherwise he couldn't pull off sleeping with women in the first place. Sexuality is rarely ever either or and often just varied combinations of both.

To answer Larkin's question, I'll never forget the first crush of my life. I wanted to be next to her, wrote poems about her, dreamed of her, and even tried to ask her out. So far, she's been the strongest female crush I've ever had but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Even though the majority of straight/homo guys would rather claim a binary position than become a dark horse that can like both (aka bisexual).

Animus saidTo answer Larkin's question, I'll never forget the first crush of my life. I wanted to be next to her, wrote poems about her, dreamed of her, and even tried to ask her out. So far, she's been the strongest female crush I've ever had but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Even though the majority of straight/homo guys would rather claim a binary position than become a dark horse that can like both (aka bisexual).

That's not really germane to the original post though, is it? Holding hands and writing poems isn't what's going on here... I did that for my little middle school girlfriend too.

Animus saidTo answer Larkin's question, I'll never forget the first crush of my life. I wanted to be next to her, wrote poems about her, dreamed of her, and even tried to ask her out. So far, she's been the strongest female crush I've ever had but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Even though the majority of straight/homo guys would rather claim a binary position than become a dark horse that can like both (aka bisexual).

That's not really germane to the original post though, is it? Holding hands and writing poems isn't what's going on here... I did that for my little middle school girlfriend too.

Did you want to eat her vagina? That's a more relevant question.

The feeling of wanting to be with someone and be close to that someone, that is attraction. Actions are, for the most part, just actions but you can't fake out your own feelings. Ergo, a gay guy would probably more than likely be glad to fuck some hot dude's ass out but they'd probably vomit at doing the same thing to a girl, even though the orifice is the same between the sexes. It's not the acts that define sexuality and sexual attraction, but but the feeling of attraction.

Sounds to me like the guy is just trying to get comfortable with the fact that he's gay. It also sounds like he's doing it in a fairly responsible way. He broke up with his girlfriend rather than cheat on her and he's experimenting. I know for me that it took a while to get comfortable with calling myself gay. I spent years doing nothing, not dating guys or girls. This dude likes to bttm - that's pretty gay. But he isn't comfortable with the label yet because he's holding onto negative stereotypes and stuff that makes it hard for him. That's totally fair. He'll come around sooner or later.

The question for you is whether you want to be part of that process. It's pretty unlikely that he's ready for a relationship or anything. But if you're up for some no strings sex with the guy, that's your call. It seems he's been pretty up front about what he's offering. That's respectable in my mind.

Honestly, what is the importance of creating rigid categories for human sexuality? What purpose does it serve?

It seems some people hold onto a model that people are either gay or straight, and that bi is some kind of a false cover used by gay people. But sexuality is much more rich and varied than that.

If we want people to accept us as perfectly normal and gay, could we return the favor to others who want to be accepted as perfectly normal and straight, but enjoy occasional same-sex play? Could we accept that some people are perfectly normal and able to make emotional and sexual connections with either sex? I hope so, for our own sake, as much as theirs.

In my own personal experience, I had a long relationship with married couple, a man and a woman. Not that the question ever same up, but if you were to ask the guy and give him only the multiple choice categories of straight, gay, or bi, he would have chosen straight. Asking her the same question, she would have said bi. And me, I would have answered gay. And yet there we were, having a great time in bed together, not really giving a damn about other people's thought models.

For me, the idea of a simple trichotomous model of human sexuality never proved useful.

I would say he is just curious. I don't believe sex with some one of the same sex makes you gay while sex with the opposite makes you straight. I believe what makes a person gay straight or bi is how they feel about that person of the same or opposite sex, their emotional and physical attraction and wanting to be with that person. In my opinion sex is nothing more then a form of pleasure.

gage saidThey're gay. They may not know it, or understand it, or admit it. Yet in time they will admit it. That doesn't always mean they will live it! Yet they will know it.

Clearly, the guy is bisexual to some degree. Otherwise he couldn't pull off sleeping with women in the first place. Sexuality is rarely ever either or and often just varied combinations of both.

I am not sure performing sexually with a women makes you bisexual. I was married for many years and have the childern to prove that I did the deed at least twice . Similar to the Op's guy, I convinced myself that I was something other then gay to justify the path I chose. But truth be told, I knew it then as I know it now, I do not find the female body to be erotic. So while I performed sexually, it was most often in responce to her initiating intimacy, and out of a desire to meet the needs of someone I cared deeply about. This is not to say that other men who consider themselves bi are deluding themselves. I can only speak for myself. Each one of us knows what we truely find erotic. Some of us just take some time to get there.

As to the Ops guy, I would say proceed with caution cause it can take some guys years (decades) to come to terms with thier sexuallity.

njmeanwhile saidBi and honest about it (with self and partner(s)) is very different than prolific (especially clandestine) same-sex activity while wearing "straight" like it's some kind of badge.

Agreed. I know a 23 year old who talks about how straight he is but he sucked 3 cocks in one week and 2 the week before and he usually licks up their loads. But he doesn't want anyone to think he's gay. He REALLY LOVES to suck cock. He calls himself a "straight guy with a cocksucking fetish". It's an oxymoron if ever there was one. And he's been fucked by 3 or 4 men that I know of.