I’ve picked the brains of some friends, trying to figure out how to handle the whole Hugo nomination thing. What follows is a combination of my own thoughts, along with the wisdom and guidance I’ve received from others.

First of all, if ever there was an occasion that called for Calvin-style Lucky Rocketship Underpants, this is it!

I would ask if anyone knows where I can get some, but knowing you all, I have the feeling I’d be deluged with links. (And on the off chance that I won, I could totally see John Scalzi deciding to formally present me with said underpants when I went up on stage.)

How do I avoid freaking out for the next 4+ months until the winners are announced?

Apparently, freaking out is mandatory for all nominees. If the freaking out decreases to an unacceptable level, your e-mail is programmed to automatically alert you to the fact that someone, somewhere is talking about your category, thus boosting your freakout back to acceptable levels. Which leads directly to…

Do not read people’s blog posts about the Hugo ballot.

I learned this one all by myself after coming across a few blog posts and having the following experiences.

Blogger A said they were happy to see me on the Fan Writer list and would probably vote for me. OMGYAY SOMEONE’S GOING TO VOTE FOR ME I’M TOTALLY GOING TO WIN!!!

Blogger B said they were going to vote for someone else, and asked why a professional writer was on the Fan Writer list. AW CRAP I’M SO GOING TO LOSE AND EVERYONE WILL HATE ME FOREVER!!!

Yeah. I think it’s best if I just stop reading those posts…

What should I wear?

Women: Anything less than the perfect blend of elegance, professionalism, beauty, and class will be judged harshly both by those in attendance at Worldcon and those observing the webcast online.

Men: Eh. Whatever.

Fun fact – I have not owned a suit for many years now. I do have a half-dozen good Snoopy ties, though.

The Hugo Voter Packet is awesome.

Basically, for a $50 Supporting Membership, you get electronic copies of pretty much all of the nominated books and stories, not to mention a sampling from the fan writers. (We were asked to submit four pieces that represent our writing.) I’ve heard rumors this should be available in May.

Any ties will now be settled with Moroccan Fighting Cupcakes in a duel to the sweet, tasty DEATH!

This worries me, as Steven Silver is skilled with three different flavors of frosting, and I hear that Claire Brialey has been known to sneak ninja sprinkles onto her cupcakes…

I have been told that I am to dress appropriately for escorting my girlfriend to the awards. If she will be elegant, I should be elegant, and I must wear something a little more formal than my UtiliKilt and a black T-shirt. …

Now all I want to do with my afternoon is figure out a good recipe for Moroccan Fighting Cupcakes. I’m thinking an adaptation of this orange cake recipe, with a chocolate frosting with a hint of orange oil in it. And candy ninja stars embedded in the tops.