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Monday, February 28, 2011

Monday, February 28, 2011

Monograms can add that perfect crowning touch of elegance to your wedding cake.

Or, they can look like this:

Proof that sometimes it's better to quit before letting your five-year-old write on the cake.

Still, it could be worse.

The monogram could match the rest of the cake:

Hey, it's not easy to make tinfoil look this good.

If you do find a mistake in your cake's monogram, don't panic. There are plenty of seamless ways for your baker to fix the error.

This isn't one of them.

Now, I'm all for sharing new words, broadening folks' horizons, furthering education, etc, but if you have to explain to the baker of your wedding cake what a monogram is - a "T, J, and H" put together, for example - then maybe, just maybe, a few alarm bells should go off.

Or I suppose you could just take your chances.

After all, what could go wrong?

Heh.

Aheh.

Heh.

At least the quotes add a little something "extra."

Thanks to today's wedding wreckporters Anony M., Hilary R., Cyndi P., & Cyndee M., who think all bakers should be required to ask, "Can I quote you on that?"

Maybe the first cake is in Afrikaans, in which "kos" means "food" and they expected the guests to be really stupid or had just come from eating the THC cake. It looked kind of nice, otherwise, but the blue roses are kind of freaky, well, blue food in general. Blue roses always remind me of "The Glass Menagerie" by Tennessee Williams.

When will we learn? Letters of any sort are trouble! Monograms on wedding cakes? For the love of fondant, why???? I would imagine all the attendees know who's getting married. Why do we need to see their initials?

nothing wrong with the "B" cake... except that they did the design on a separate sheet of fondant and then stuck it on the side of the cake. and the 'eye of sauron' corrective oval isn't even symmetrical. someone made a booboo and instead of re-doing it, they quick-fixed it. lazy.

and my wv is vasold: the fondant used on the "B" correction vasold-er than the fondant on the layers.

@Shannon - different wedding entirely! I know this cake wasn't at that wedding, but the bridesmaids dresses were a horrible kind of electric lime/snot green. I had to take pictures just to prove that someone could be that cruel to their bridesmaids.

As for the "B" cake, I think the problem is that it's an obvious patch job put on over the cake.

@Heather - love the FML monogram. I think we should be listing monograms that shouldn't be on cakes.- PFO- KMN...others?

I think that the problem with the B cake is that they made an error, and just pasted over it with another piece of fondant. I can't imagine they would have done that unless there was a mistake underneath that, or under neat that, depending on who you ask.JMo

Well, knowing that in classic monograms the first and middle initials go to the sides and the last initial is larger and in the middle, I would not advise monograms on cakes for the following brides:Sara Teasdale OtterlyBelva Gennette InsteedPaula Gaily UndineTeresa Tennyson IngeDonna Garrison OlsenEtc.

At the hospital we are frequently called upon to vote on name choices for newborns and the first thing we tell people is to check the initials in standard order and monogram order to see if they spell anything unfortunate. One of my colleagues saved a little guy from being saddled with the initials P.I.G.!

I don't get the whole monogram thing. I'm guessing it's just the initials of one person, rather than the bride and groom together, because otherwise three initials is just kind of disturbing. But why only one person anyway? I'm assuming it's the bride. Does the poor groom get any say at all?

@Wolverine Girl -- Traditionally, the "married" monogram is the bride's first name initial, then the married surname large in the middle, then the groom's first name initial. So Mr. and Mrs. Sam and Edna Crumbcatcher's monogram on linens etc. would be E C S. Anyone's guess what to do when the bridge keeps her nasme, uses a midddle name, etc.

See, I don't drink coffee so I don't have the problem of spitting it onto my screen. I do, however, have a bladder and this is not the first time you've made me laugh so hard I've wet my pants. Srsly, what's a girl to do- sit on the "throne" with her laptop to read this blog? LMAO

The first cake was decorated by a very talented artist. Unfortunately, he/she did not lock up the piping bags before leaving the kid who washes the pans in charge of handing over this cake when the family came by to pick it up.

The only thing that makes less sense on a wedding cake than a monogram is full names and the date. That could be done as a service to people who aren't sure they're at the right reception, but 'not seeing anyone you know' ought to be a sufficient clue.

#1 Given the subtle spacing variation (K OS), it appears that the wreckerator took advantage of the monogram to make an editorial comment. Perhaps there was a dispute about the bill?

#2 The wreckerator finally got tired of being asked about the 'secret ingredient'.

Is that an actual sash? The third tier down looks like that is where the frosting ran out.

#3 Don't you just love subtlety? Don't you just love how this 'B' cake almost turned into an inverse EPCOT? (What would Spaceship Earth look like turned inside out?)

#4 Now *those* are daisies! None of this 'lotus flower' stuff this time. Congrats, "T", "J" and "H". Do the quotes mean the bride and groom were using assumed initials?

Whenever the question, 'what could go wrong?' is uttered, life speedily supplies an answer.

Assuming that most cake's colors are in keeping with the whole color scheme of the wedding, can we then assume the bridesmaids in that wedding were wearing denim dresses - or mechanic coveralls? I can't imagine what you mix to get that awful color. If depression had a color, that would be it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I blame Wilton (cake decorating supply company) for most of these mistakes. They churn out so called cake decorators in a 4 lesson course and tell them they're great just to get them to buy more stuff. Then, these stay at home moms who paid 25 bucks for a class think they're certified professionals. When, in reality, they churn out crap like this in most cases. It's sad, really. FYI, I am a professional cake artist, and no, I did not learn though Wilton, but I did teach the classes.

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