actual words spoken (only in Haiti)

Why hit one bump when you can hit all the bumps?You are such a sucker for amputee's.Just pretend you are smelling hard boiled eggs.

Don't step in the water - One of Zoe's very first complete sentences.

Just punch him in the face as hard as you can and he will stop bothering you.I slept with a lizard last night.Just ignore the ants in your food.I'm starting to not even notice the bleach taste.You have to wear underwear to keep the mosquitoes from biting your booty at night.
**For my marriages anonymity's sake, I will not reveal who exactly said each phrase or the context in which it was said**

Because pictures where we all smile and look at the camera are so boring.