A Curious Night at the Theatre – Part Two, when Christopher meets Ben Whishaw and Andrew Scott

Christopher met Q at a secret location in the South Bank (if you don’t go to the theatre, it looked like a secret location. Otherwise, it looked like the National). They talked about viruses, and integrating the lines of radiant and whether you can dig someone if they are not a garden. Q rememebered Moriarty from the time they were together in Mike Bartlett’s Cock and sent Christopher on his way with a flirty “any time, cowboy”.

And back to school where Christopher said goodbye to Jude, heartbroken and disheartened not to have a future with Siobhan. And coming home one day, just like that, Christopher found Moriarty in his living room, cocky (not just because of Mike Bartlett’s Cock) and arrogant and a little bit sexy. Moriarty agreed to let Christopher mess with his computer on one condition: that Christopher can get hundreds of people to sit in one room and switch off their phones in order to engage in a metaphor (which is really a story). A little bit like a play. And here we are.

The story was partly filmed on location (Matt Smith, Ben Whishaw, Andrew Scott, Helen Mirren), with the clips projected on what seemed like an eighties screen wall, and partly performed on stage (Jude Law, Luke Treadaway, Niamh Cusack and the rest of the Curious Incident cast). It was witty and funny, with inside and meta jokes but always faithful on Christopher’s perception of the world. This was Christopher as we know him, but with an extra glint in his eye.

In between installments of the story, there was live music, an auction (Edward Rising did a great job getting lots of money out of people), stand up comedy (Simon Anstell lamenting his crush on Ben Whishaw – who was particularly fetching, all glasses and dark hair – on the clips we saw) and a game combining maths and cake.

Luke Treadaway had written a note that was left underneath someone’s seat, but it was never found (by that time, Mr Treadaway was standing next to me and was laughing a delighted laugh as people were scrambling to find it). And the evening confirmed something I always knew in my heart: even in a room with Jude Law (on stage) and Tom Riley (in the audience), Simon Stephens is still the most gorgeous man around.

Last but not least, the special guest. Throughout the evening we were promised a very special – and very secret – guest. These things are usually a massive let down, but Chris Martin showing up to do two songs with a guitar and no microphone is the definition of gobsmacking.