Recently a divorced woman named Sue found herself in a “gross” conversation with her divorced griflriends. Not “gross” as in the subject matter was lude or disgusting; rather, the conversation left her feeling gross. For somehow, her friends’ conversation had shifted to her relationship with her boyfriend — and as she put it, “It was like…

Don’t expect to be friends with your ex. Not at the start anyways. This is what I wish someone, or many people, had told me at the beginning of my divorce. I’m not saying you should expect to be enemies; no, not at all. I’m saying you should aim for something in the middle – like a…

“Hang tough Delaine – things are going to better. You really are better without him…” Many, many times I heard these words from girlfriends when I found out my ex was cheating. I knew they were right, that at some point things HAD to get better. But while in the throes of my grief, those words felt…

Anger is a stage in grief and divorce recovery. Honoring your anger is important as long as it isn’t damaging to you and those you love. Learning how to handle anger in productive and healthy ways is very important to your recovery and your mental health. Don’t hold your anger in or think that anger…

Recently, I sat with my emotionally devastated friend Maddie who had just discovered her husband was having an affair. Why? When? How? Now what? her brain raced to answer, as she felt her family dream falling to the ground in slow motion. But it didn’t take long for her to start doing what most of us women do when affairs…

Her ex was at her house doing pick up of their kids the past weekend when it happened. She and her three kids were over at the school yard finishing a quick game of soccer in the snow. Suddenly, her eldest son, now eight, tripped her daughter by accident. “Kyle,” she said to him, “You have to avoid…

Does this scenario rings any bells? Sue is the primary caregiver of her two children. Her ex, Brian, is a part-time dad who pays child support and takes the kids every second weekend and one evening/week. When they first got separated, Brian was very concerned about his limited access to the kids; he wanted them…

Chaos. The external components of my life keep shifting…giving way…breaking. In my mind’s eye I see the support beams of a house built over water, cracking…adjusting…dangling. Yet I know, I know that that house is ME: my bones, my soul, my reality. My muscles tense with anger. I’m gripping, hanging on, protesting. I am strong,…

Divorce can easily feel like a drawn-out death. And like an actual death, one must not only go through the grief cycle (bargaining, denial, anger, depression, acceptance) – one must ALSO begin to rebuild. So today, due to the number of letters I’ve received from people looking for resources, I’m spotlighting two Golden Tools I…

Wow. OK. So get this: I’d just spent a half-hour talking to my lawyer around a flaming issue between me and my ex. Under her counsel, I then wrote my ex an email (with shaking hands), and fired it off just in time to race out the door: I had to pick up my daughter…

Over the past couple of months, men from the dating site, Lavalife, have started asking me the above question. The question comes in various renditions, from a simple “STILL on here, eh?” to “I can’t believe you still haven’t been snatched up!” Time and time again though, my reaction has been the same: to roll…

Lena, 32, is grappling right now; her head is swimming, her stomach’s in a knot. She’s scared, she’s angry with her ex, but above all, she’s frustrated with HERSELF. Why? Because she’s still have trouble saying/admitting that her ex-husband behaves like a selfish, immature bully, even though that’s exactly what he is. She can’t stand thinking this way about anyone; it seems…

You’re on the phone with your ex, courteously discussing a pending issue related to your kids or your divorce. Suddenly, ‘it’ happens – his voice turns whiney and he starts singing the ‘poor-me’ blues. Or maybe he throws in an unexpected mean remark. Or maybe, just maybe, he decides to start venting – and you find you and your character…

Keying his car doors. Burning his clothes. Emptying his bank account. Posting photos/ love letters of his affair all over the internet. Telling his boss and all his friends… We’ve all heard the expression “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.” Infidelity is one sure way to bring it on. Betrayal hurts like hell.

Out of the blue, my aunt emailed me this photo tonight. I’m not posting it because I want you say I look cute. I’m showing it because it made me burst out crying. Look at how innocent I was. My God, the face of an angel with hair so white. I keep wondering what I was like back then…but I…

I’m not sure why the memories came at me tonight. Perhaps it was the fresh fallen snow and smell in the air that triggered them; Xmas is coming after all. Perhaps it was because my ex moved last weekend to a small town outside Calgary; I know he will now spend even less time with…

Testimonial

I survived my husband's infidelity and this divorce because of you, Delaine. Your insights, knowledge, and no bs attitude pushed me forward. I'm happier than ever, just as you said. Thank you. Karen, Toronto

Testimonial

Delaine was invaluable to me as a started dating after my divorce. She really smarten me up as I dealt with divorce matters too. I owe her my sanity. Chad, NY

Testimonial

Delaine, you are a GREAT coach! Please, don't ever stop doing what you're doing. The world needs you now more than ever.
Brenda, NY

Testimonial

Thank you thank you thank you Delaine. You've been my rock, my teacher, my mentor this past year. I hate to think how far back I'd be if I hadn't found you. Kristina, Washington

Testimonial

Delaine's not just text-book knowledgeable, she's been there. She KNOWS. She makes you ask the right questions of YOURSELF. She makes you get answers. She makes you the 'captain' of your new life.
Karie, South Carolina