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Friday, January 27, 2012

Finding the Blessings in the Obstacles

I'm probably overreacting. I usually do. However, I just feel like the past couple weeks I have had more setbacks than I'm used to. This whole ordination process and parenting thing has gone so smoothly for me so far that sometimes I forget that it can't always be that way.

The past few weeks have included Evelyn's ear infection-turned-bronchial infection, our laptop breaking, and plane tickets home that cost us a whole lot more than expected. Additionally, since Christmas Evelyn has given up on sleeping through the night, so I'm up at 3:00, 6:00 and 8:00.

Last night, my gums surrounding the tooth that has been hurting me for the past year or so swelled up. I'm nearly certain that it's abscessed, which stinks because I don't have insurance. Then, I woke up this morning to an e-mail that says that I'm a credit and a half short for graduation, which means I need to take an additional class this semester.

All of this is so small when I look at the big picture. But, readers, I'd be lying if I said it's no big deal. I'm. So. Tired.

Being a mom is hard. When I list the things I did all day, I think, "Why am I so tired? I hardly did anything." But it's amazing how much energy a baby takes. Then, while I was taking my J-Term class, I only had her by myself from 1:30 to 4:30 each day, so I kept thinking, "Why am I so tired?" But it's amazing how much energy a four-hour a day class takes. When you put them both together, and never really get a break (by the way, how do single moms do it and how on earth did my Mother-in-Law do laundry for eight?), it leads to an overreaction or two. It makes me cry when I hear that I have to take another class.

I want to be an optimistic person. I always try to be positive, but what I'm discovering about myself is that what I really am is an honest person. I can see the blessings in my obstacles. Evelyn is healthy and happy; our laptop was old anyway; we get to fly home instead of driving and I am delighted to see my family; I get the chance to learn more by taking another class; I'm delighted to get this &#*% tooth out of my mouth. But I'm also willing to admit and accept that what I'm doing is hard. Right? Is that okay?

Thank you for hearing my little vent. I always struggle a little bit to figure out what is appropriate to put on this blog. But, ultimately, I want the people who have a say in the success of my career to know that I'm human.

Gosh, if I don't post pictures of Evelyn, that would make two posts in a row. We can't have that. Here are some photos from Evelyn's play-date today at church. A few of us decided to get together in the nursery for an hour or two. We had a blast!

Lydia takes very good care of Evelyn. Sweet Henry likes to practice
his Godzilla skills around her, though.

She dressed Super-Chic

And stopped by the office to hang out with one of
her favorite adoptive Grandmas, Dianne.

You can do it Joanna! I'm so sorry you just found out about the one and half credits, but I'm sure you'll figure out a way to make it work. Still, you're right it's totally okay to be upset and mad and frustrated about it all. And your tooth--ouch! You'll be in my prayers.