Today

My husband had his THIRD compensation and pension exam, today for the V.A. We had to drive 100 miles away from our home just for this appointment. My husband has been suffering for ten long years. It is absolutely ridiculous!! I cannot tell you how frustrating this has been. He has PTSD, has had more than one TBI, and don’t even get me started on his physical issues(he jumped out of planes for a couple of decades). His records were all wrong; the doctors THERE were surprised that his records said that certain things were normal, when they so obviously were NOT normal. It seems to me that the employees at the V.A. do NOT care to do their jobs to the best of their abilities.

I hear crying that whistle-blowers are getting fired. I do feel sorry for them; but I could give a SHIT about their jobs—WE ARE DYING FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL!!! I think it is TOTALLY wrong, that those who are shining a light on this utter madness get fired, but they are fucking with our LIVES, not just livlihood.

Guess WHO decides whether a veteran has a legitamate MEDICAL claim, or not? If you answered, well, a doctor of course, you would be sadly mistaken. Lay fucking people(no offense to non medical people). LAWYERS TELL THE DOCTORS WHAT TO ASK! Americans, and probably a lot of veterans do not know this. THIS IS HOW FUCKED UP THE V.A. IS; FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.

I got us a motel room for the night before, and night of his exam, so it would not be so stressful. Do you think the V.A. gives a SHIT that we had to drive 100 miles, when there are at least TWO V.A.s that do these that are closer. It is Motel 6- not the greatest, but it is clean, close to where we needed to go, and pet friendly. We have to pay for wi-fi, and had no damn phone in our room; then my fucking key card stopped working; right after 11 am(check-out time), and we paid for another night. Once I had to walk back to the office for a THIRD time, I was pissed. In the end; got the stupid phone that we will not use, and free wi-fi.

I am working on protecting myself from others’ emotions bombarding me, and learning how to sheild myself. For those of you who think that is nuts, alright. Just think about this: EVERYTHING is made up of energy, and everything is carbon based. I won’t get into the EMFs of different things. I absorb everyone elses energy; I FEEL what they feel. I have many times where I get a HUGE wave of a feeling(usually bad), and have no idea where it came from. I need to learn to differentiate between what feelings are truly mine, and which are others’.

I realize this post does not flow very well, but neither are my thoughts, I guess.

Oh by-the-way, I would REALLY REALLY appreciate if you would each call your senators and tell them to OPPOSE the Veterans First bill. It does NOT put us first. It takes SOO long to fire a bad VA employee; sometimes more than a year. This happens even when these bastards have been CONVICTED of crimes. THAT is how much they really care about us. This bill would also take away CAPS ON BONUSES FOR V.A. EMPLOYEES. We are dying; waiting A DECADE to get what we have fucking earned, and these morons have it MADE.

I got a little inside information on MY V.A. There are several doctors that have PAGES AND PAGES of complaints, and still get their “performance” bonuses. I kid you not. If one knows they do NOT have to perform; what the hell can we do to change that? Way too many veterans are dying needlessly, and we need you, our countrymen, to stand with us, and be our voice.

I have a good feeling about this one. We were talking about other veterans, and it seems to be one of two situations. The first, the veteran gets the benefits that they earned right away. The other is that it takes about 10 years. There is not a lot of in between; at least where we live. My husband and I know that it is because they either want us to give up, or die. Dying is best, that way, they never have to pay ANYTHING. I know this sounds ridiculous to most, but it is true and happening every day. Anyway, with my practicing my protection, and learning what is mine, and what is everyone else’s crap, I am much calmer. I joined a group of women like me(I think), and go to my first get together in a couple of weeks. I am really looking forward to that. Thank you for taking the time to read what I wrote, and reaching out to me– I really appreciate that. 🙂

I understand well. As I said I was on disability, then after hard work, against my doctor’s advice, I pushed hard to go back to work. Four years later I was almost dead in the hospital and told if I got better I would never work again. However this will be the third year of fighting with all my doctors help to get it back. It will be even longer because the republican governor has made it so hard to get. He can’t change federal law, but he can cut hearings, officials, and systems to helps us. I am lucky, very lucky, my husband has taken care of me, with food, shelter, and insurance. Without that I would have died. Be well, and have my best wishes. Hugs

He said this one went better than the other two(I only had ONE) compensation and pension exam. The doctor that was doing his physical injuries was a dick, at first. Would not even look at him. Told my husband that his records said that everything was normal. My husband FINALLY stood up for himself and told the doctor that he could SHOW him. Once the so-called doctor actually EXAMINED him, he changed his entire tune. He told my husband that fucking attorneys tell the doctors what to ask. THAT I did not know. I did know, however, that the people DECIDING the cases are NOT medical. The less they “award”, the more money they get in their bonuses. I have no fucking idea how any person that ever gave a shit about us veterans could ever have let it get this bad. They are actively trying to kill us off; this is the feeling of EVERY SINGLE veteran I have spoken to at my VA. That is just WRONG. I hope they get their heads out of their asses. He has two Purple Hearts and a fucking Bronze star. He EARNED his shit. Okay– I am done bitching. Thank you for caring. Have a good afternoon. 🙂

It is the old story that everyone , especially republicans demand support of the troops….until they come home. I have no words of comfort, dang I wish I did. But I admire both of you still fighting for what should have been given to you automatically. Have you tried one of those “action TV” news shows where you tell your story and they put it on air, and go to bat for you ? yes it is for ratings, but if it helps you… It maybe worth the thought. Hugs

I wish I thought of me as you do, but I see the struggle you and your husband go through in your posts and it makes me shudder. What if I had not had my husband to shelter and care for me? What if I had not been in the right places and the right times. These things are so delicate it is stunning. Well you know I support you. Hugs

I have been homeless, twice throughout the years. Once with a car; once without. Without SUCKS in the winter. Did you know that the fastest growing homeless population is women veterans? Pretty sad; I wish there was something that I could do. Someday, soon, I will hopefully, be able to make a difference. Thank you for always caring. I really appreciate you.