Jokes Page 5

You know it's time to reassess your
relationship with your computer when....

You wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning to go to the
bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to
bed.

You turn off your computer and get an awful empty
feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You decide to stay in college for an additional year or
two, just for the free Internet access.

You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.

You find yourself typing "com" after every
period when using a word processor.com

You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't
have a computer.

Your email box shows "no new messages" and you
feel really depressed.

You don't know the gender of your three closest friends
because they have nondescript screen name and you never
bothered to ask.

You move into a new house and you decide to netscape
before you landscape.

Your family always knows where you are.

In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say
"LOL, LOL."

After reading this message, you immediately forward it to
a friend!

What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum
cleaner?
The position of the Dirtbag.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Jew, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a
blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks,
"Is this some kind of joke?"

What's round and goes "Grrr Grrr?"
A vicious circle.

What do you get when you cross Star Wars: Return of
the Jedi with tomato sauce?
Jabba the Pizza Hut.

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a
beer. The bartender says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings
here.' The string walked away a little upset and sat down with
his friends. A few minutes later he walked back up to the bar and
ordered a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated,
says, 'I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here.' So the string
goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in
a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up
to the bar. His friends think that he's crazy. So, he orders a
beer. The bartender squints at him and says, 'Hey, aren't you a
string?' And the string says, 'Nope, I'm a frayed knot.'

There are these two Indians crossing the desert. The older one
is bragging that he can tell if other Indians are coming, and his
younger friend asks, "How can you tell?"

"Put ear to ground like this. I hear noise of many
feet," says the old Indian, and he puts his ear close to the
ground. "OH!" he exclaims, "Buffalo come!"