Sunday, December 9, 2012

in Wrethe

I love the symbolism of wreaths (from wrethe, which means to band). With no beginning and no end, they embody eternal love. While these are specifically holiday wreaths, these would also be perfect at a time of loss, a way to express love that transcends this temporal world.

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About Me

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This blog is about finding new ways to mourn, as well as cherishing our memories and heritage.

There's no need to be morbid. There's no need to surrender to bland and expensive design. And there's no need to stow away the sentimental items we inherit.

I believe in meaningful repurposing. Making quilts out of old clothing, new jewelry out of inherited trinkets, teddy bears out of mink coats. There are so many creative options to keep sentimental items in our lives, giving them new purpose in the process.

And this extends beyond inherited items - we can repurpose today's items for new use. Men's business shirts can be transformed into dresses for little girls. Old t-shirts can be sewn into children's quilts. So many possibilities! I call this "Modern Heritage". Please check out the links for ideas.

Mourning is a lifelong process. From saying goodbye in life to the services and ceremonies that later honor that life, it is important to find rituals that feel contemporary. We are so creative in life, why do we throw it all away when it comes to death? Why settle for stoic services, plastic flowers and generic sympathy cards?

I'm on a quest to find new ways to honor the lives of those we love. I'll investigate past rituals for contemporary reinterpretations, cross-cultural traditions that can be applied anywhere, and those on the cutting edge, doing DIY funerals. Can IKEA coffins really be that far behind?

The Modern Mourner is about joy, humor and happiness. After all, death is just part of life!

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On a Personal Note

I have gone through loss, and found myself with bags full of clothing, jewelry, books, things I just couldn't bear to part with because of the memories. Not knowing what to do with it all, these items ended up in storage, separated from my daily life. For me, this became a metaphor about how we treat the memories of our loved ones. We store them away, not knowing what to do with our grief. We keep it to ourselves, we hide it away.

It was time to do something about it. I have kept my mother's ashes in a bookcase because she loved to read. But they are still in the plastic box from the funeral home. I looked for urns but only found ugly, tacky and expensive vases. So antiquated, nothing that felt like "her." So I'm having an urn cozy knit for the box, something warm and tactile and friendly - just how I remember her.

We need more options, but when we're grieving the last thing we feel is creative. So I'm on a quest to update the way we grieve. From gifts at services to greeting cards, the funeral homes, hallmark cards and florists all need a major makeover.