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11.4.16

The novice...

Over the past month I have been attempting to buy swimwear of any variety really. I'm going on holiday at the beginning of June and therefore this is probably an essential thing I will need. The problem I've been having is I'm a complete and utter swimwear novice. Up until this point in my life I've never really needed swimwear that much I remember something emblazoned with Mickey mouse on when I was about 2/3, I remember having a sparkly multicoloured crop top bikini set when I was about 7-10 and then the last bikini I owned was turquoise polka dot and that's as much as I remember when it comes to my swimwear. I've never really needed it. I can't swim and I've never been on holiday so it's not something I've ever really had to have or had any sort of need to want to buy if I'm honest.

However now that I'm off on holiday it is something I now need and also want especially as it's going to be hot. Now as the title suggests I'm a complete novice when it comes to this stuff so I have been looking at everything. I've been finding it's utterly impossible to buy a bikini set together or at least it is for a normal person who isn't the same size all over. Why do they even sell bikinis as a set who's a size 10 all over? I know I certainly am not. Unfortunately I'm two sizes bigger on the bottom half of my body compared to my nice size 10 top half. This then also makes buying full on bathing suits quite hard as well because if I buy one to fit my top half I will basically have love handles where there really shouldn't be love handles on a body, but then if I were to buy a suit to fit my bottom half it would be showing all kinds of boob and I'm sure the lovely people of Portugal don't need to see my boobs in that unsightly way. Ultimately I have ruled out full bathing suits.

This has therefore left me to bikini only and trust me when I say I am not the most confidant person when it comes to my body. Firstly there's the horrible ugly scars and secondly there's the gross body fat but I have found 3 bikinis that I really, really love and have brought. I was looking for maybe a tankini type of thing but I just couldn't find one that I really liked as that would have been nice to cover my less than ideal stomach (toning is definitely needed lol.) The three I've brought though are really lovely and I feel comfortable in them as well which I think is definitely the main thing and I won't be worrying about boob malfunctions in front of a bunch of strangers on a beach or at the poolside.

Now clearly I am never going to look the women in these ^^^ pictures but I thought I'd show the bikinis I have brought, all you have to do is just imagine a larger probably more lumpy body in them that certainly won't be photoshopped lol.

So the first one is my Top Shop [link] one which is actually my favourite even though it's the more daring one and shows off my scar the most but honestly it's so comfortable and I feel really safe in it as well even with all that cleavage going on. I did buy the matching bikini bottoms to go with it but I'm not a massive fan as they have single string sides and they'll always cut in and I'm just not fond of them at all so I went and brought some black bottoms to go with it from ASOS [link] and they go really well when they are together.

My second one is from very.co.uk [link] and is probably one for when I'm not in the mood for having my scar on show. It's's all tie dye which I love and it kind of reminds me of the good old days and I actually loved the matching bottoms as well as they had the strappy side which made them look a bit different (to me anyway lol) and I kind of love that they aren't completely matching. Definitely a good one in my opinion anyway if you want to know for sure that your boobs won't fall out, unless of course someone decides to undo the straps at the back :-/ .

Finally I have the one that I would consider the girliest and is also from very.co.uk [link]. This would be the most "bra like" so i guess is my safest option boob wise if that makes sense but certainly not my favourite out of all three of them as it definitely shows off all of my scars whereas the crop top hides my scars and because of how vibrant it is also kind of distracts from my drain scars as well. I do still love it though and that certainly won't be stopping me from wearing it, also the bottoms on these are actually my favourite as they are the ones that don't cut in at all and there's no excess flab going on so that certainly is worth it for me.

I did find as I was looking around at the many, many places I looked at that they do seem to make some really beautiful bikinis for those who are very well endowed in the boob area. I found I was loving a lot more of those bikinis than I was the ones made for people like myself. I have what I consider very average boobs of a very average size, not massive but not small either so I couldn't get any of the pretty big boobed bras but it was fun looking at them.

If any of you have any suggestions for nice places to get nice swimwear, let me know as the next task is cover ups, so we'll see how that one goes :)

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I'm in my 20's and after waiting 3 years,
I underwent a heart and double lung transplant because I suffered from a illness called Pulmonary Hypertension.

This blog is where I documented that journey and will continue to document all the amazing highs and the lows post-transplant. I hope to continue to raise awareness for both PH and organ donation and I would love for you to continue to share this journey with me.