Catch 22

Hey All,

It has been a while since I have been able to write a blog post. I figured if it’s not a genuine post, not honest and doesn’t come from the heart then it’s not worthy for my audience. But I want to thank you guys anyway, because y’all still reading my shit and I appreciate that (forced New York accent).

Obviously because a lot of time has passed, there’s a few things to update you guys on but a catch up is not what I really want this post to be about.

Firstly, I want to thank you all immensely for voting for me for the 2018 UK blog awards, I have been shortlisted as a finalist for the social influencer category and honestly, I couldn’t be more honoured. The awards take place in April and I will make sure to keep you guys updated.

Ok so.

There have been a few new journeys that I have embarked on over the last couple of months, the main one being moving out of my family home and now living independently. As you should be aware I am a care leaver and as part of the journey for a lot of young people in care is moving out at a young tender age. Compared to my peers at the age of 21, believe it or not I did this at a much later stage.

Two weeks ago, I turned 22. If you are a follower of my work you would know I have a blog post titled lost in your 20s (check it out if you haven’t). LOL if I thought I was lost then, then I am not sure the words to describe where I am at now. My current status is 22, living by myself, unemployed and not in education. WOW! its taken a lot for me to write that but that’s what’s up. You may be thinking what a bum. But I assure you (or am I assuring myself) that I am productive and despite my very demanding schedule of freelance work, the opportunities and events that the blogging and YouTube world opens, my work as deputy chair of Lambeth council and my new role as Chair of London children care council (YEP THAT’S RIGHT) I am looking for a job. Not just any Job, not just a job to be honest, work that I enjoy that’s in line with my career path. My “Job searching” has been just over a year now. Despite qualifications, experience, good interview skills and consistency, I just don’t seem to be getting anywhere and I am trying not to let it get to me and feel disheartened but it’s hard.

I don’t know, but the past year has been the most challenging and the most educating at the same damn time. I feel as though I’ve taken a few steps backwards. I can no longer afford the luxuries that I used to take for granted. I am the type of person that like to look nice, have nice things and go out nice places. I thought I knew about responsibility and independence before, but now actually having real bills to pay that determine my living conditions is a lot of pressure and come with sacrifice. I am now having to seriously budget and prioritise what is a necessity and what is a luxury. Sacrifice for me means No car (I have seriously struggled with this one and have contemplated on some stupidity to afford one), no mani and pedicures every month and limiting my social activities.

One thing that’s really bothering me right now is my house. I mean, it is done up very nice so far, I’ve got all my necessities and I know it takes time to make a house a home but I swear I want it all done NOWWWWWWW!!! Its driving me mad, so many ideas and doing a lot of window shopping but not being able to bring it to life, really bothers me. So, I have just forced myself to be ok with purchasing one new item every month. This month my bedroom curtains, next month my dining table (I can’t wait to get my dining table).

I mean I’m 22, I really want to be out here doing the most, travelling, living my best life and most importantly saving. Oh my goshhhhhh oh how I’m desperate to save, but I swear its near enough impossible with such a small income and more outgoings than what’s coming in.

Sometimes I find myself, praying to God for some sought of financial blessing, for money to drop out the sky or something. A couple of days ago someone on twitter tweeted that someone anonymously dropped 45k into their account. LOL, I wish that was me. I know they say that money doesn’t buy happiness but it would solve a lot of problems right now and I’m sure It would make me happier.

Yours 20s is such as a confusing age and even more confusing when your flung in to the adult world prematurely. The age where you feel as though your too young to have experienced everything in life to have it all together but at the same time too old not to.

But I am praying that this is just a period. Like all the other millionaires and billionaires, this is just struggle and grind before the break through. Aunty Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates. Because no matter where you are in life right now, if you work hard for it, you will achieve it.