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Take a picture of this… it’s August 2018, and most football pundits have Cardiff City FC as favourites to finish bottom of the Premier League come May 2019, well adrift of all other teams. Wind forward to today (May 2019), and Cardiff are in 18th position, with both Hudderfield Town and Fulham well adrift below them.

Two matches to go, and the mighty Bluebirds need a maximum 6 points from winning both if they are to retain a desire to remain in the Premier League for next season.

Until we speak again, it was fun while it lasted, but the final score is Cardiff City 2 Crystal Palace 3, with the inevitable outcome…

Well, she could have waited until after we played Watford FC (aka The Hornets)!

Here were the mighty Bluebirds, on the back of a two consecutive Premier League wins and a two week rest. Now ready to take on a good Watford FC team, but one that we need to be winning or at least drawing against, if that is, we have aspirations to be playing them again next season in the Premier League.

Until we speak again, all self-respecting Bluebirds fans should look away now… final score: Cardiff City 1 Watford 5 (yes… FIVE). I can still hear Juno purring with laughter at the thought of a bunch of birds being tormented and played with by a bunch of hornets.

“It’s a funny old game…” is probably one of the most used cliches about football. So, here we are, it’s January, and the two teams that have been odds on favourites to be relegated from the Premier League from before the season started meet at the Cardiff City Stadium, in what most pundits believe will be a game from the…

Not much to laugh about when Cardiff City and Huddersfield Town met in Yorkshire back in August… and two teams firing plenty of blanks so far suggests a repeat result of…

Until we speak again, funnier things have certainly happened, and surprise surprise as it ends Bluebirds 0 MarkerPens 0!

As Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, a former Cardiff City manager and Manchester United player returns to the Cardiff City Stadium as the temporary Manchester United manager. Most of the locals probably wished he had stayed in a Norwegian fjord for a week longer…

Until we speak again, this Christmas will be enjoyed more by the baby-faced assassin than the cadavers of Cardiff! The less said about the final score the better [1-5].

[Acknowledgements to ‘the beer boy blogspot’ for the can image, and whatsnew2day.com for the Ole Gunnar Solskjaer photo].

Enough said in the press across the previous week, so what can possibly be added to the tributes and out-pouring of feelings for five tragic deaths? Well… Bluebirds were out-foxed in the game of grief (i.e. personal loss for the away team, and skill loss for the home team!).

Until we speak again, apparently Cardiff City FC were reported to be a class act across the previous week in their approach to this emotionally difficult game. Shame that wasn’t converting to the on-pitch performances! For the record the home club were very generous to their grieving competitors bequeathing them a 0-1 win.

News reports of Bank Holiday traffic chaos are simply music to my ears. No, I really don’t care. There are too many cars clogging up and polluting our planet, with most car drivers firmly of the belief that they own the road and have exclusive rights to travel and park wherever they want whenever they want. Audacity reigns as a response to the merest slight against their pre-eminence.

Combust all thee engines; and may your occupants become gasket-challenged! I personally have my own advantage in this scramble for serene holiday bliss. A whole 15 minutes of walking brings me to a place of tranquility…

As the Cardiff leg of the International Extreme Sailing Championship takes place right on my doorstep on the August Bank Holiday…

So, for those of you recovering from the experience of boiling over with the raging curses of the tarmac, here is a peaceful few minutes to contemplate the rush of the breeze, the chop of the water, and an elegance of movement…

So, there I was, a bedraggled and tired travelling cat arriving home from a fabulous trip to the USA. When all of a sudden I am metaphorically arrested by a sight that would send so many Americans into rapturous delight…

Why, in American culture there are those who believe in the right that this is what every city street should look like. As for me, in my addled brain, all I could muster as a fleeting thought was an old mantra for self-respecting city cats, Don’t mess with Valleys Girls!”

So, what was going on here? I like the implied message, but couldn’t see how it was meant to be a homecoming for me…

However, the image did bring to mind the old saying: “lift up any pony tail, and what you’ll find beneath is a horses ass!”, Best be careful who you aim that description at; after all, “Don’t mess with Valleys Girls!”

In the meantime, it seems like all roads home are blocked off…

Could it be preparations for the stilettoed hordes descending on the city for a long weekend of perma-tanned indiscretion? If so, then the advancing mob above are surely unwittingly walking into a psychodrama beyond their wildest imaginations. After all, “Don’t mess with Valleys Girls!”

It seems that the ‘lionesses of liquor’ have already set up a roll-call of their preferred end of night play-things, with the castle walls providing a historic backdrop for contemporary fantasies. If you don’t want to end up strung up on the battlements, “Don’t mess with Valleys Girls!”…

As it turns out, there was a simple explanation for all this metropolitan malarkey… it was the small matter of the biggest sporting event on the planet this year happening just around the corner from home. As much as I have fantasised about Cardiff City FC going to the Champions League Final, it could be a long wait; so the Champions League Final had come to Cardiff City! For the victors, the spoils, and the opportunity to kiss ‘old big ears’ (affectionate name for the trophy, not one of the belles of bedlam).

Until we speak again, all I can advise Luca Modric in the image above, is kiss the metal by all means fella, but “Don’t mess with Valleys Girls!”