Intel, Microsoft, Dell, HP and Lenovo would like you to know that only steaming idiots buy PCs, apparently

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“PC Does Whaaat?” is the new advertising gimmick from Intel and Microsoft (Dell, HP and Lenovo chipped in some, as well). But, wow, it’s awful.

We’re told that you can hear laptop audio over the noise of a helicopter; that a laptop screen is as bright as poolside sunshine; that high class hotel-room doors have no smoke protection; and that gamer characters are bizarrely self-aware. Truth in advertising? Yep, they’ve heard of it.

Aside from the factual questions, very little about the campaign screams “cool.” Quite the reverse.

A couple of days ago, Ina "chicken" Fried and Arik "steak" Hesseldahl tag-teamed this rumor reportage:

[You're fired -Ed.]

Intel and Microsoft are teaming with three leading PC makers on a new ad campaign designed to make potential computer buyers more aware of all the things a modern PC can do...according to sources familiar with the companies’ plans. … The campaign...will run in the U.S. and China and is designed to let people know that the latest PCs do a lot more than the machine they likely have at home and at work. … Intel and Microsoft are providing the bulk of the funds. ... Representatives for the companies were not immediately available for comment. MORE

Today, Timothy J. Seppala updates us:

That "PC Does What?" ad campaign from...Dell, HP, Intel, Lenovo and Microsoft isn't a rumor anymore. … The series of 30 second ads will start airing October 19th. MORE

So Michael Liedtke buries the lede:

The $70 million marketing push aims to highlight how much better PCs have gotten since smartphones and tablets came along...punctuated with the slogan, “PC does what?” … The ads are primarily targeting consumers who haven’t bought a new PC in at least four years...amid a 3 1/2-year decline in sales that has been driven by a shift to smartphones and tablets. MORE

Worldwide PC shipments totaled nearly 71.0 million units in...3Q15. [It's] a year-on-year decline of -10.8%. … Many users opted to upgrade existing PCs rather than purchase new hardware. [There was] a limited selection of Windows 10 PCs (as well as related advertising) through much of the third quarter … [But] the top 4 vendors performed much better than the rest of the market. ... We remain optimistic about future shipments...in 2016 and beyond. ... New designs running Windows 10 and powered by...Skylake processors are coming to market and may represent the most compelling reason we've had in years for consumers to [buy PCs]. MORE

Meanwhile, rosecur1's opinion isn't safe for work:

Woww these commercials are ****. … God knows there are a millions innovative uses for a PC. Except you guys went with these. ... making a background poolside? no idea what that one even was about....playing music.....playing tv....reading news...playing games. … You are acting like the PC was just invented yesterday and this is stuff that we couldnt already do in the 90's. MORE

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