It's that time of the year again folks! Time for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue!

Here's a link to the SI website with a whole bunch of pics and info about this year's featured models. Including: Heidi Klum, Josie Maran, Molly Sims and more! By the way, this year's cover babe is Yamilla Diaz!

Tuna

"Bones"

Bones (2001) stars Snoopy Dogg in a combination blaxploitation, supernatural, revenge, horror, love story. Dogg was a numbers man in the hood in the 70's. When Lotto was about to invade his turf, some of his associates tried to convince him to switch from gambling to drugs. When he refused, they killed him. Cut to the present. Some young urban blacks whose father was one of the murderers buy Dogg's old crib in what is now a fully-deteriorated neighborhood to open a dance club featuring their band. One of them runs into a lovely Bianca Lawson, daughter of Dogg and psychic Pam Grier, and the two of them form the love interest for the film.

All of the activity in the house arouses the ire of the house, which has a habit of bleeding, frightening the residents, and other gory stuff, then arouses Dogg, who seeks revenge against his killers. Erin Wright, as Snowflake, girlfriend to the new crime kingpin in the hood, shows breasts and buns in his club. Greer shows cleavage in the murder scene, and Lawson shows pokies, and lots of leg and bun in a dream sequence.

The film suffers from identity crisis, not knowing what it is really trying to be, and most of the characters lack development, but it is visually incredible. Much of the film is shot in subdued light, but is clear, sharp, and esthetic even in the darkest scenes. There is some use of anamorphic 8m to provide grainy flashback scenes, but, other than that, is masterfully lit and photographed. IMDB readers say 4.5 of 10 and an overwhelming number of critics panned it. Take away the nudity and the production value, and I would feel differently, but will have to give it a C+, as is crosses so many genres.

Lilian's Story is about a woman who is released
from a mental asylum after a 40 year incarceration. The film examines what led
her to her mental condition, while simultaneously showing how she adapts to
people in the real world after four cloistered decades. Many imagers have taken
a shot at these images, so I thought I'd try something different - to eliminate
the nasty yellow filter.

The flashbacks are all shown through a yellow haze, for our viewing
convenience, because we are all clearly too stupid to figure out that the 20
year old woman in the flashbacks is the same person as the grown woman in the
present, except 40 years earlier. Apparently their target audience was Dan
Quayle. "Say, those two women have the same name. Wow, what are the odds?".

Unfortunately, my experimentation with the colors was not completely
successful. These aren't very impressive in quality, but at least it's
something different..

O is that modern day "Othello playing
basketball" thing. The film does have some good points, but a lot of it is
amateurish, and it takes my special award for the very worst filmed sex scene
in history. Not only does it shoot everything from the shoulders up, and drag
on much too long, but when it slips south, we can see that Julia Stiles is
fully-dressed! That's some slick movie-makin', right there! No wonder
Othello was so tense.

The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.

If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.

A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)

If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

The movie reviews are displayed in an inline frame. Your browser does not support inline frames or is currently configured not to display inline frames. Go here to see the list of new reviews.

Jr.

Here are a few really crappy 'caps I threw together today of Bobbie Phillips showing all three B's from the movie "The Hustle" aka "Sordid Affair" aka "Die Abzocker - Eine eiskalte Affäre".

The plot...
Bobbie and her boyfriend are small time con artists. She pretends to be interested in travelling businessmen, gets them up to their hotel room, the boyfriend sneaks in and swipes credit card info, then he does the "bursts in on his girlfriend with the other guy" routine.

While working their scam, they meet the Canadian version of Lance Henriksen. Canadian Lance recruits them to pull their scam on a wealthy mark. Etc, etc. From this point on, the audience is subjected to a series of double-crosses followed by more double-crosses, a trail of bodies and then served with a side of double-crosses.

Basically it looks and feels like a made for TV flick. If there is nothing else on, it might keep you interested. Either that or you'll get bored with all of the multi-crossing and turn it off after the Bobbie's nude scene.

Speaking of the nudity...all of it is seen in a through the lens of a camera from a window across the street.
Bobbie is topless in links 2,3 and 8.
Rear nudity in links 1, and 5.
Frontal nudity in links 4, 6 and 7.

Except for the Trekkies who know her as Ishara Yar from "Star Trek: The Next Generation", most folks have never heard of her. However, in addition to her B-movies, she does have a few respectable credits in the IMDb, including: "Dallas", the Aaron Spelling show "Savannah", several guest spots on 80's and 90's TV shows.

Link #1 has her in a skin tight jump suit from Star Trek TNG, by Blackshine.

Link #2 is a bare bum pose from a calendar.

Links 3, 4 and 5 are from the movie "Berserker" (1987) and feature breasts, pubes, and bum respectively.

DeVo

WARNING!

These 'caps show some hardcore lesbo action from something called "Pin Ups" and are not for everybody.

Dita von Teese, breasts, and inserting a dildo that is shared on the other end by another chick.

That other chick is Anita Blond. Here are two more from that scene.
(1,
2)

Audiences who saw Britney Spears's movie Crossroads this weekend can tell you that she didn't bare anything that hasn't been seen before. What moviegoers don't know is that Spears was actually filmed baring her breasts, but that footage was not included the final cut.

Spears and her Crossroads co-stars Taryn Manning (Crazy/Beautiful) and Zoe Saldana (Get Over It) were approached by the film's screenwriter, Shonda Rhimes, to help come up with a scene to depict the girls' joy at winning a New Orleans karaoke contest and its prize money. The actresses put their minds to the task and decided that flashing sounded like a realistic way to celebrate.

"You know the writer, Shonda (Rhimes)? She said, 'What's something crazy that you would do with your friends?' you know, and we're, like, 'Oh, flash people.' But we got to write that scene in, but it got cut. We flashed, like, when we were at the hotel celebrating, you know?," Manning says.

Saldana adds, "In New Orleans." Manning continues, "These girls start drinking too much, so we end up going down the hall and flashing a couple doors, but it didn't make it in the movie."

According to Saldana, all three of the film's protagonists, including Spears, took part in the flashing action. But in the end, the Crossroads creative team decided to leave the footage on the editing-room floor. Crossroads, sans bare breasts, is now playing in theaters nationwide.