A proponent of matronly wisdom and a combatant of hooligans and foolishness. Offering an eclectic collection of illustrated commentary and finding the humor in politics, religion, academics and other social constructs.

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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Milk Annihilation

A few
of my elementary school memories:

I
hated milk. It took me forever to sip and little carton to an acceptable
consumption level. So my teacher decided that I would forgo play time in favor
of sitting at my desk, getting a head start at milk annihilation.

I also
don’t like chocolate because, no matter how much milk or sugar is added, I
think it has bitter taste. However, my dad’s favorite cake is chocolate,
especially Black Forrest. I was always
thought it was unfair because it dramatically influenced the choice of dessert
at my house. Friday school lunches
offered a special treat; chocolate milk! And who doesn’t like that!?! My
teacher could have had me start on a carton when I walked in the door and I
still wouldn’t have gotten through it.

Being an odd kid, I've also never liked to be outside. Chaos and volume increase dramatically as does exposure to disagreeable weather. To make outside a little more interesting, I took it upon myself to feed our classroom praying mantis. Earlier in the year we had made bug catchers by cutting down an empty carton of the hated milk until it was a box with an open top. Next pair of old pantyhose is cut to make the leg one long tube, open at each end, and the box is slipped into the middle. Put some bate in the box and when a bug climbs into the box, pick up the entire thing by each panty hose end and spin it, sealing the pantyhose tunnels and trapping the bug in the box. For some reason I thought wasps were the mantis meal of choice. So for a few months our mantis survived on wasps, stingers discarded and littered on the bottom of his jar.odd kid, never liked to be outside. Chaos and volume increase dramatically as does exposure to disagreeable weather. to make outside a little more interesting, I took it upon myself to feed our classroom praying
mantis. Earlier in the year we had made
bug catchers by cutting down an empty carton of the hated milk until it was a
box with an open top. Next pair of old pantyhose is cut to make the leg one
long tube, open at each end, and the box is slipped into the middle. Put some bate in the box and when a bug
climbs into the box, pick up the entire thing by each panty hose end and spin
it, sealing the pantyhose tunnels and trapping the bug in the box. For some
reason I thought wasps were the mantis meal of choice. So for a few months our
mantis survived on wasps, stingers discarded and littered on the bottom of his
jar.

In
Kindergarten, as I am sure you will recall, there were several play times
throughout the day. My friend Frank and
I would usually end up playing house. It’s
not what you think. I was the fancy
grown up lady and Frank, by his choice, was my loyal dog.