Tips and Questions About The Adoptive Parents Screening Process

Screening and selecting Adoptive Parents to care, nurture and provide for your
baby or child is an important part of the
adoption process.
Your adoption agency or adoption professional can help you find Adoptive Parents
that will provide a loving and nurturing home for your baby. The process of
screening, selecting and meeting your child’s prospective Adoptive Parents will
depend on the
adoption laws in your state.
All domestic adoptions require a home study and background check.

1) They will be observed under the conditions of a
home study,
which include home visits.

The home study examines how the family lives and evaluates their environment.
This process can take many forms depending on the state or governing agency
conducting the visit. It is an important step in deciding if the home is suitable
for the baby or child. What do adoption agencies and professionals look for?

Will the child have a suitable room?

Will they be living in a safe, childproof environment that poses no risks to them?

How will the child fit in culturally?

Either during these home visits or in a separate location, the prospective
Adoptive Parents are also interviewed several times, both separately and together.
The interviews tend to cover topics about the family’s relationship and about
their motivations and preparedness to adopt. Home visits are also an excellent
way to determine the general readiness of the family on a physical and emotional
level.

Only the most suitable families are given the blessing and responsibility of
raising your child. Most people that enter the adoption process genuinely desire
to have a child be a part of their family and do not take this decision lightly.
They are passionate parents to be and will not weaken when the investigation
becomes critical because they have dreamed for a child for so long.

The home study will detail almost every aspect of the Adoptive Family. The report
will cover the family’s marriage history, employment records, community involvement,
past criminal activity, income information, education, extended family trees,
birth certificates, and even some information about the Adoptive Parents’ parents.
There will also be a fingerprinting and child abuse clearance process that those
living in the home must pass. The home study professional will collect and
carefully examine all of this given information. The Adoptive Parents may also
undergo medical tests to ensure they are physically prepared to take care of a
child.

This kind of screening provides a more formal record of the Adoptive Families
and their ‘behind-the-scenes’ details. It is a great way for agencies and/or
adoption professionals to thoroughly get to know the family. Typically, the
family’s closest friends, coworkers, and/or church members will be interviewed
in order to give a testimony of the family’s readiness to adopt.

The training may cover a wide variety of topics, from the adoption process itself
to the actual how­to’s of child rearing. The hopeful Adopting Parents may also
receive training and advice on how to build a proper relationship and standard
for communication with the Birth Parents. These workshops help build a foundation
to help Adoptive Parents think about how they are going to raise the child so
that he/she feels loved and supported all through development.

The home study process is lengthy and very personal. Every aspect of the Adoptive
Family’s lives is scrutinized, and their physical, mental, and emotional well-being
will be looked at and considered.

What to Consider When Meeting the Adoptive Parents

Whether you choose to place your baby for adoption through
an adoption agency, a lawyer, or a facilitator,
it is important to know that you, the Birth Mother, have the right to choose who
you want your baby to be placed with. Many agencies or adoption professionals
function by giving you many family options to choose from. Even after you have
selected your Adoptive Parents, you will usually have time to decide whether you
see the Adoptive Family as a good fit for your child. You may be able to
communicate with the Adoptive Family over the phone or meet in person. Your
adoption agency or professional will generally act as the liaison between you
and the family during this time.

Here are some things to consider about hopeful Adopting Parents:

1) Excellent Communication Skills

Keep communication skills on your mind as you learn about and communicate with
hopeful Adopting Parents. Watch for how they communicate with you, but also how
they interact with each other and the adoption agency or professional as well.

You and the Adoptive Family may be entirely different people who come from very
different walks of life. Even if this is the case, they should make a good effort
to ensure that all parties understand each other. If you are able to make a good
connection, speak with them, and enjoy talking with them despite potential differences.

Don’t just pay attention to how they speak with you, but watch for their dynamics
with each other, if they are a couple. If you are wanting to select Adoptive Parents
in a relationship, observe how they communicate with each other: comfortably,
easily, and lovingly?

Does the Adoptive Family communicate with the adoption agency/professional, or
you directly in a timely and responsive manner? Are they respectful in their
dealings with the agency/adoption professional? All parties involved should be
on the same page about information, so make sure to pay attention to these dynamics.

You will also play a very important role in maintaining open and honest communication
throughout the adoption process. As the Birth Parent, you may have a lot of complicated
feelings about the adoption process, and you should feel comfortable voicing your
feelings and opinions to the family or to your adoption agent/professional.

2) Thoughtfulness and Understanding of Adoption

It is important that an Adoptive Family prepare for and work to understand adoption
and the adoption process. Here are some ways to measure the Adoptive Family’s
thoughtfulness and understanding of adoption.

What is their plan for letting the child know about their adoption and details
of how they plan to discuss it with the child?

How do they intend to create open and honest pathways for discussing you,
the Birth Mother, and your adoption decision with the child? Also, it is
important to discuss how they will support the child with any difficulties
in understanding that the child may have.

Do they have a plan for how they intend to deal with the negative stigmas
surrounding adoption, and how they plan to prepare the child for this possibility.

Have they thought of how the child will fit into their lives?

While some of these events may not occur until much later on, an Adoptive Family
should still be prepared for these questions.

3) Flexibility and Adaptability to Change

Though the Adoptive Family should already have certain knowledge and expectations
entering the adoption process, they should also be flexible and ready to adapt
to things they didn’t necessarily expect.

The adoption process can be intense and scrutinizing, and Adoptive Families may
be tested with different problems or unexpected scenarios throughout the process.
They should not appear to have a need to be in absolute control or demonstrate
a need for instant gratification. They should not appear too rigid about how they
will raise the child, but will rather be open to the possibility that they will
learn much through the process of becoming a parent.

It can be difficult to determine the line between unpreparedness and flexibility.
It might be helpful to compare your own views about adoption and childcare: you
may find that you have a certain set of expectations and beliefs about how things
should be done, but you may also think of times when these core beliefs were
challenged or thrown into question. The Adoptive Family should be open to flexibility
in this process while still demonstrating that they have put a great deal of critical
thought into what kind of parents they want to be.

4) Financial Stability and Resources

The Adoptive Family does not need to be wealthy in order to adopt, but should
demonstrate financial stability, access to all the resources they will need to
raise a child, and show that they have thought critically about the impact a
child will have on their finances. This will be highly evaluated in the home
study, so Birth Parents can know that the Adopting Parents have the financial
readiness to adopt and parent.

Overall, you, the Birth Parent, should trust your instincts when screening potential
Adoptive Families. You have the choice of who to place your baby with and many
Birth Mothers often say that “they just knew” when they found the right Adopting
Parents. Also remember that your Adoptive Family is still human, and you should
make sure not to get too caught up in a quest for complete perfection. You should
strive to select a great family for your child, but you should also try to go in
with realistic expectations of what a family should look like.