Parental alienation involves the systematic brainwashing, poisoning and manipulation of children with the sole purpose of destroying a loving and warm relationship they once shared with a parent. My story involves this form of child abuse & exploring the bias favouring a mother in the social ecosystem around Family Law.

I have met and heard the tragic stories of many parents. PA is a function, by and large, of a custodial ex-partner, although some alienation can start while the couple is still together.

This blog is a story of experiences and observations of dysfunctional Family Law (FLAW), an arena pitting parent against parent, with children as the prize. Due to the gender bias in Family Law, that I have observed, this Blog has evolved from a focus solely on PA to one of the broader Family/Children's Rights area and the impact of Feminist mythology on Canadian Jurisprudence and the Divorce Industry.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

A cogent, rational, incisive look at the trends in Family Law in Canada and the benefits for children of Equal/Shared parenting. Barbara Kay is one of Canada's leading scribes discussing issues affecting our children and the marginalization of their parents, particularly dads.MJM

Barbara Kay, National Post · Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2010

In
the name of changing social mores and social justice, Ottawa's 1998
Special Joint Committee on Child Custody and Access recommended equal
parenting as the default custody presumption (in the absence of abuse)
after separation. The report then fell into a political black hole.
Today, a tip of a ladder reaches up from that hole, and clanging
footsteps can be heard on the rungs.

At least three recent
developments in the field of family law are hopeful signs that social
justice and common sense may finally prevail in post-separation custody
issues.

We have British Columbia's first review of family law in
B.C. since the Family Relations Act came into force more than thirty
years ago. Their July "White Paper on Family Relations Act Reform"
(accepting submissions until Oct. 8) contains progressive draft
legislation and policy proposals: It recommends stepping away from
courts and the adversarial model in order to "adopt a conflict
prevention approach to family law disputes" and urges making
"children's best interests the only consideration in parenting
disputes."

Next up is the Green Party's unequivocal adoption of a
policy of equal parenting at their August convention. By my reckoning
that means every single federal party is on board with the idea that
both parents have the right to maintain a strong, loving bond with
their children, established through credible sociological research as
necessitating 40% of the time with children beyond infancy.

Then
there is last week's release of the Law Commission of Ontario in-depth
report on the family law system. The report deplores a system that can
bankrupt litigants and routinely ignores the wishes and interests of
children: "Children want to be heard but they feel they have no voice
and no power in relation to adults, including their parents, lawyers,
counsellors and judges."

Is there anyone who believes that our
family court system doesn't need reform? Perhaps some aging radical
feminists who are content with the fact that fathers are offered shared
or sole residential custody in only about 6% of court-contested cases.
And of course the myriad of professionals -- lawyers above all -- who
benefit financially in dragging out litigation, mostly unrelated to
children's best interests, and who perpetuate a dehumanizing and
heartbreaking -- but lucrative --winner-take-all style of "justice."

But
disinterested people categorically want reform. A National Post poll
indicated that 91% of its readership supported equal custody as an
alternative to sole custody determination, and a recent poll by the
federal government has 80% of the public, from every political
persuasion, supporting equal parenting.
The people for whom this
issue matters most -- people whose lives have been negatively impacted
by the current iniquitous system -- are united and organized. The Equal
Parenting Coalition (EPC) is now an international social movement
focused on averting the tragedies that result for children when a
parent is legally disenfranchised from his or her children's lives.

I
say "his or her," but in reality, the iniquities of the system
overwhelmingly target fathers. What are most fathers asking for?
According to the EPC, the clearly stated primary goal would appear to
be equal physical parenting. Advocacy in the equal parenting movement
has moved well beyond fathers' rights groups, and is now a broad-based
coalition of both mothers and fathers. More and more women realize that
excluding fathers from their children's lives is unethical and
psychologically counter-productive for everyone involved. Fathers want
more input than just offering suggestions that their ex-wives can
ignore. They want to truly share in parenting, including all its
responsibilities.

Indeed, the current president of the Canadian
Equal Parenting Council is a woman. Kris Titus took up the EP cause
when she saw how much her children suffered from the absence of their
father after their divorce. She became an activist in the family law
reform movement when she actually had to fight with a judge to change
his award of sole custody to shared parenting, a move that benefited
everyone in her family.

For many years Canadian justice ministers
from both governing federal parties seem to have been more concerned
with protecting the interests of the divorce industry, which takes up
40% of Canadian courts' time, rather than serving the needs of
children. According to a 2003 study by actuary Brian Jenkins, "What do
the children want?", 86% of children in North America have no voice in
custody arrangements.

Decades ago women told men they had to
take more responsibility for active parenting. They listened. Fathers
have earned the moral right to equality of involvement in their
children's lives in post-separation agreements as a matter of social
justice. It is now up to our legislatures and judiciary to assume
responsibility for establishing an equal-parenting presumption in law.

Favourite Quotes

“The job of a father is this : to help his children develop, to teach them to express and master their emotions; to avoid physiological distress, to provide a context for their experiences; to help them persevere, reach their goals and take on responsibilities; and to instil the roles of citizen, partner and parent. In short, it is to fill their bellies with bread, their brains with wisdom and their hearts with love and courage.” Camil Bouchard, “On Father’s Ground” 2002.

Some men see things as they are and say, "Why?" I dream of things that never were and say, "Why not?" ~ George Bernard Shaw ~ also quoted by Robert F. Kennedy, US Senator and Presidential Candidate assassinated in 1968.

Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. ~ Robert Frost

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. - Mahatma Gandhi

Search my blogs with a custom keyword search by Google

Eastern Standard Time - North America

Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario

Western Australia (DST from last Sunday in Oct. to last Sunday in March)

Perth, Western Australia

Some Gems on relationships

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

The motto of this Father's Rights Activist

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again ... and who, at the worst, if he fails at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt,

Facts on violence in Canada Domestic and Otherwise

Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile, 2009.

Of the nearly 19 million Canadians who had a current or former spouse in 2009, 6.2% or 1.2 million reported they had been victimized physically or sexually by their partner or spouse during the five years prior to the survey. This proportion was stable from 2004 (6.6%), the last time the victimization survey was conducted, and down from 1999 (7.4%).

A similar proportion of men and women reported experiencing spousal violence during the five years prior to the survey. Among men, 6.0% or about 585,000, encountered spousal violence during this period, compared with 6.4% or 601,000 women.

Total 611, men 465, women 146Rate of homicides with firearms has increased 24% since 2002. Handgun use on increase (gangs don't register their weapons)Women victims 24% - lowest proportion everMen Victims 76%Both the rate of females killed (0.87 per 100,000 population), as well as the proportion(24%), were the lowest since 196162 spousal homicides - no change from 2007Lowest rate in 40 years45 women 17 (27.4%)men

Many DV homicides of men are not classified as such and this number is higher than 27.4%.

In 2009 based on a million couples it can fairly be said 999,998 wives do not kill their husbands and 999,995 husbands do not kill their wives. (See Pg. 15 chart modified from the rate per 100,000.)

In 2009, 49 women and 15 men were killed by a current or former spouse (excludes one same-sex spousal victim).

Total homicides 610, Men 450. Gang related 20.3 percent.69.1 % of firearm related deaths involved handgunsWomen 160, In 2009 it represented the second lowest proportion (26%) of female homicide victims since data were first collected. The rate of female victims has generally been declining since the late 1960s.

Profile

I am Politically active and right of centre on most issues with the odd exception such as legalization of "Mary Jane".
I advocate on changes to Family Law - an incredibly dysfunctional arena where parents are pitted against one another and children are the victims.
My picture will sometimes show me as a younger man simply because I like them.

An Alienated Child

Is a troubled child

American Coalition for Fathers & Children Petition

A quote by a well known Canadian Jurist

The Honorable Justice John Gomery of Canada stated, “Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child. It has to be taught. A parent who would teach a child to hate the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child.”

(The above quote arises from PSM vs. AJC, a decision rendered by Mr. Justice John Gomery on February 15 1991 (SCM 500-12-184613895), and confirmed by the unanimous judgment of the Court of Appeal on June 14 1991, the trial judge was confronted by a case involving four children caught up in a heated custody battle between their parents whereby the children became "catastrophically" alienated from their mother.)A good paper on PAS for lawyers by a lawyer, Anne-France Goldwater (Avocate), and excerpts from the above trial are located here.