Colby: Okay Homer, I don't know anything about planes, but I know about you. You have what made America great: no understanding of the limits of your power and a complete lack of concern for what anyone thinks of you. So you'll land that plane. And do you know why? Because I heard some guy say you couldn't.

(Marge sits down at the computer, grabs the mouse and starts clicking away)

Bart: Click that one, Mom.

Lisa: No, go up.

Bart: Keep going--up, up, up!

Lisa: The blue ones are ads.

Bart: That’s the toolbar.

Lisa: No you’ve opened Word; close it!

Bart: Close it. Do-don’t save it!

Lisa: Stop clicking.

Bart: Don’t go there!

Lisa: Why are you buying a freezer?!

Bart: Don’t click the cart or you’ve bought it!

Lisa: Aw, you clicked the cart!

Marge: (Upset) If you’re so smart, you do it!

(Bart pushes one button and finds a baby website)

Marge: (Groans)

Homer: When you call in sick, who do you call?

Louie: I don't call in sick, I work when I wanna.

Homer: Sometimes you want to work?

(Homer decides to become a tow truck driver)

Louie: Now just remember two rules. One, stick to Springfield. If I ever catch you on my turf, I’ll rip off your head, then I'll vomit down your neck, pull out your heart, show it to your head, and shove ‘em both down your neck hole, to which I previously alluded.

(Homer tries to jot everything down)

Homer: (Mumbling) "...which I previously alluded." Are there two "L’s" in "alluded"?

Homer: (Chuckles) I guess I'm more powerful than God now.

Ned: You know what they say: "With great power comes great responsibility."

Homer: Who said that?! I'll kill them with my power!

Marge: Bart, I'm starting to worry about your father.

Bart: Well, I know he seems to get dumber every year, but lately he's plateaued.

Homer: Oh, my God multiple parking tickets, handicapped spot, parked by a hydrant, incomprehensible vanity plate. If my life as a tow truck driver were a teleplay, this will be the end of the second act.

Lisa: That voice...(groans) I knew that commercial was a trick, specifically designed to lure our family here, and Wes Doobner's World Famous Family Style Rib Huts is actually an anagram!

Wes Doobner: Welcome to "Sideshow Bob's World Famous Family Style Return! [rearranges the letters, then tears off his cowboy hat, wig and false moustache to reveal his true identity as Sideshow Bob]

Simpsons: AH! Sideshow Bob!

(The Simpsons are tied up. A laptop with a low battery is sitting atop boxes of TNT.)

Sideshow Bob: Let's not tarry. As Shakespeare said, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere best it were done quickly." Power on! (He turns on the laptop and laughs maniacally.) This time, I've made no mistakes. (leaves)

Lisa: Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, "'Twere well it were done quickly."

Homer: [sharing his and Marge's items into separate boxes] Okay, I'll keep the LPs, and you take the CDs, I'll take the typewriter, you take the computer, I'll take the Enron stock, you take the Microsoft stock, and...

Homer: [sighs] Seeing Marge always reminds me of Marge.

Homer: (narrating) I had finally realized every rock star's dream: Hating being famous.

[Groundskeeper Willie brings in an old wooden desk with a toilet for a seat. Bart sits.]

Donny: Hey, Krabappel! Your name sounds like "crabapple". Did you go sour waiting for someone to pick you?

Mrs. Krabappel: [sighs] Pretty much.

Principal Skinner: When I catch the culprit, and I will, I'm gonna throw this away. [Holds up a book titled Public School Punishment Guidelines] And use this instead! [Holds up a book titled Catholic School Punishment Guidelines with a picture of a kid getting hung on a cross. The children gasp.]

Lisa: I never dreamed an American car designed in Germany, assembled in Mexico from parts made in Canada, could be so amazing.

(A rat skitters across a railing, in an homage to the final shot of The Departed. Ralph appears from within a garbage can)