Spartacus: Of Love And Death

Rather than doing a traditional recap, as there was so much backstabbing and treachery going on, I’ve decided to focus instead on the death of two innocent and relatively harmless characters. Prepare yourself, as the events in “Delicate Things” will be shocking and somewhat devastating.

Of everyone in the ludus, Barca was the gentlest and kindest of them all. From the pigeons he took such great care of, to his bf Pietros whom he loved so much, Barca was always a thoughtful and kind soul. He was faithful to Batiatus, right up to point where Batiatus asked him to take the life of a child. When asked of this by Pietros, Barca told him he would never harm a delicate thing. Earlier that day, Barca had pressed Ashur for his winnings from a bet he’d placed in the fight between Spartacus and Theokoles. With these winnings, Barca would be able to buy the freedom of himself and Pietros and they could live happily outside the gates of the ludus. Not wanting to pay him, Ashur, having heard him tell Pietros the boy was alive, paid a man to spread this news back to the magistrate. Once this news eventually got to Batiatus, he grew nervous that the boy would link Barca back to him and that Batiatus would lose his own life. When Batiatus questioned Barca about this, Barca told him that he’d only said the boy was alive so that Pietros would continue to see him as an innocent man. Batiatus didn’t believe him and his guards attacked Barca, treating him like a human pin cushion. As Barca crawled towards the ludus pool, trying in vain to escape, Batiatus killed Barca with a dagger, proclaiming he now had his freedom. Sadly, we are the only ones to know of Barca’s fate, as Xena Lucretia Lohan slapped her useless handmaiden for no reason (does she need a reason? Really?) and told her that Barca had payed for his freedom and they’d seen him merrily off and bluebirds sang a show tune and the sky rained gumdrops, MMKAY? Barca was an honest man, he had long hair, and he loved pigeons. He will be missed.

Spartacus had said from day one that he would be reunited with his wife. Upon winning against Theokoles, Batiatus told Spartacus that he’d buy him brand new armor, two new swords, and that his wife would arrive in two days. Spartacus grew excited by this and could think only of escaping with her as soon as he saw her face. Having a loose idea of what he would do, he asked if he could wear his new armor when his wife arrived to show her what a big hunk o’ man he’d become in her absence. Little did anyone know that he was planning to hack and slash his way out and his new armor was to protect him. He ordered wine and women to distract the men the night before and have them either passed out or hungover during his melee. Spartacus slipped Doctore a mickey, knowing Doctore would be the only true threat to his plans. Having stolen a dagger from the magistrate’s son, all seemed to be going well when the cart pulled into the ludus’ courtyard. But as Spartacus neared the cart, slowly reaching for the dagger, he saw that the driver was bleeding to death. Slipping into a state of panic, Sparty rushed to the rear of the cart and pulled back the canvas top. His wife, Sora Sura, fell into his arms, barely alive. As she lay dying in his arms, she reached up to his face and he said “I’m here.” Sora Sura was hardly seen, often referenced by Spartacus, and truly her death will cause some serious emotional issues for Spartacus to work out on everyone around him. Walking towards a shocked Xena Lucretia Lohan, Batiatus told her he’d reunite them and he did.

Typically, I’d have gone for teh LOLs and usually teh LOLs know no bounds with Spartacus. But this was some dark stuff. Barca lied to Pietros about the boy. Spartacus lied to everyone he spoke to, including a teenager that idolized him. Ashur was a conniving little weasel and I can’t wait for him to get his comeuppance. OH HIS UPPANCE WILL COME! I couldn’t help but want to cry when Barca was murdered and when Sora reached out to Spartacus I lost it. But as sad and awful as that moment was, I think this is the true turning point for Spartacus himself.

Reuniting with his wife was the one thing he fought for. Now that he has, and now that she’s dead, what does he have to fight for but his freedom? Knowing he was willing to kill everyone who stood in his way before this happened, think of what’s to come when he finds out Batiatus set up the whole thing. And you know he’s going to find out. It’s just a matter of when will he find out. Given that the show’s already been picked up for a second season, I really don’t know if they’ll rush to that before the end of season one. But who knows? All I know is now I’m utterly and shamelessly depressed and I need to go eat a bag of M&M’s or something to remind myself there’s something good and light in the world. Thank you, Spartacus, for punching me in the stomach, stealing my lunch money, and telling me there’s no Santa Claus.

Tune in Friday night at 9 pm on Starz when Batiatus hopefully redeems himself by getting rid of the useless handmaiden and Pietros becomes the original Crazy Pigeon Man.