Mark — SkiBikeJunkie in the comments here and in his own blog — is one of the people I met on the blog before I met him in real life. And when I met him for the first time in real life, I was not exactly lucid — I had in fact just finished riding my bike for 20 hours and was on the well-charred side of cooked.

But still, I appreciated the fact that he had waited around in the parking lot all that time, and had brought me some ice cream. And I appreciated even more the fact that he somehow knew how much I love ice cream after an epic ride. Soft-serve is the best recovery food ever. Or an ice cream sandwich. Or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Or a chocolate milkshake.

I think you get my drift.

Anyway, a few days later, Mark was visiting the area, looking for a job and a house, and I took him on a ride. He was slow — even beat from a huge ride, I still had to take it easy for him to stay close.

But things have changed a bit since then.

For one thing, he’s moved to Utah, buying a house in the cyclist commune known as Suncrest. And for another thing, he’s gone from being a slowpoke to being able to drop me at will.

Which means, naturally, that whenever I see Mark, I see nothing but a giant target (which is not to imply that Mark suffers from gigantism. He does not.). A guy who used to be much slower than me who is now faster than me? Man, that’s a slap in the face.

And then there’s the fact that while Mark’s faster than me, he’s not radically faster than me. See, Brad is now so much faster than I am that if he’s riding with me, I know it’s because he’s taking a rest day. If Brad decides to ride away at speed, the gap between us expands so quickly that there’s an observable Doppler redshift.

That redshift gag was awesome, by the way. Trust me on that. Try it on your friends. They’ll think it’s hilarious.

Anyway, my point was that while Mark’s faster than I am, he’s not so much faster that I just give up hope. He’s attainable.

Mark is, in short, now a human rabbit, as far as I am concerned.

Evidence

Last Friday, a good-sized group of us rode to the summit of the Alpine Loop and back. I wore the helmetcam — I love seeing how people wince as I join a ride and they see me wearing this big ol’ skate helmet with a lens and cable hanging off the side.

Oh, and I remembered to make sure the lens cap was off, the batteries were fresh, and to lock the keypad once I had started recording. I’m learning.

And so now I have video of the group ride, and of me trying desperately to catch — or simply keep in sight — Mark. As a word of warning, the soundtrack is “Gypsy Road,” performed by the Hair Metal band “Cinderella.” This is due to the fact that Rick Sunderlage (not his real name) was talking about what a great riding song it was, shortly before he rode away off the front, never to be seen again (at least, not until the summit).

Well, what do you know. “Gypsy Road” is a great song for that video. And I apparently look straight down when I’m sprinting, which does not necessarily make great video.

PS: Seven more pounds, and I will catch that wabbit.

PPS: There seems to be an ongoing debate on whether the road on this ride was “wet” or merely “damp.” Please feel free to weigh in with your assessment, based on what you see here.

74 Comments

For a recent example of a road which is “wet,” please review the rain/hail footage from Livestrong Seattle.

Also, ask yourself this question: What would Phil Liggett say if he was narrating your footage? He would not describe that road as “wet.” Damp, maybe, but more likely “slick,” as in “the roads around Bordeaux are still slick from this morning’s rain showers, so the run-in to the sprint finish is likely to be even more dangerous than usual, Paul.”

For an example of a road which is “wet” from Phil’s perspective, please review the older footage (1994?1992?) of Team Z’s Ronan Pensec losing his front wheel and sliding along the road at something like 40 mph in a full rainstorm. Now, that road was wet!

Sprinting past a car on the wrong side of the double yellow? Naughty, naughty! I hope you don’t get a call from your local law enforcement officer.

BTW, the video was awesome. Maybe just because I’m in it. But Sunday night I was watching the versus rebroadcast of “the look” when Lance dropped Ulrich on Alp d’Huez in 2001. I lost interest in the tour and watched the video instead.

The road is dry. A road is damp when it speckles you with spew and chunks of worms (don’t ask me what draws worms to wet Tennessee roads). A road is moist when it sprays you with enough water to wash away those worm parts. A road is wet when you manage to run over a catfish swimming across it.

I missed yesterdays post until this morning…Very sweet work Lori! If I wasn’t totally broke I’d LOVE to have a chance at an original commissioned painting…(and Angies case of wine raffle too..VERY COOL BTW Angie!!) I MIGHT have to swing a few bucks to both pages anyway…you can’t win if you don’t play! And Jodi…you’ve really stepped it up a notch (BAM!)..way to go!!

And hey…COME ON Team SJ! I hate to say it, but we’re really NOT pulling our Team Fatty weight here so far (me neither I must admit…my work travel really killed my momentum…but I’m NOT done yet!)…and with LESS than 2 weeks now till D-day, we MUST do better! The 2nd place team (Spike the Dog) is really catching up fast…they are coming on very strong and are a real threat to our Team win. Every little bit helps…it’s all drops in the bucket.

Oh, and cool video Fatty…it’s always best to NOT be the rabbit. Amazing how you can endure the chase from behind easier than trying to stay away. Unless you are notably stronger than the chase-group/person..then it’s just great fun to give them hope, and then SQUASH their momentum with a quick sprint. Over and over. Until they give up. Now THATS fun!

Gotta agree with Hautacam: that was not wet. The Seattle downpour/hail storm was wet. My shoes are still drying (ok, not really). That looked more like humid, in comparison. I am jealous of that road. I don’t have anything around here that combines such beauty with a nice smooth, open road.

someone out there needs to seriously start a road/mtn tour company. love the shots of where you guys ride…insane.

guestimate, how many different road rides do you have just riding from your houses? i don’t even want to know how many dirt rides there are.

envy is a sin, right?

Well, there are 4 (I think) ski resorts in riding range, each with a good road approaching. And there are lots of combinations. My road riding limit has more to do with lungs and legs than good riding combinations. Seriously, this area is a cyclist’s paradise. I wasn’t kidding about the cyclist commune at Suncrest either, because they are well positioned for both the north and south stuff. If they’re willing to climb 1300 feet afterward I mean.

mike roadie, this was a friday morning, we entered the canyon around 6:30am. not exactly prime traffic time. by friday around 5pm, there is a line of cars half a mile long waiting to get past the fee station. gotta pick your ride time carefully to get clear roads.

I’m working on the 2009 Tour of Utah (August 18-23) but I live in Oregon. I flew down for some meetings two weeks ago and we drove the stages, including the Alpine Loop. It was great to see some footage of the ride from a cyclists point of view, not just a rental car. It took me awhile, but while I was down there I finally put it together – Utah, Alpine Loop, Tibble, hey, Fatty must live around here somewhere!

I stretch this morning’s commute from Brooklyn to Mid-Town Manhattan into a 50 mile ride with a little downhill on the northern New Jersey/New York border and think I’ve had a nice morning.
Then I come here and just get jealous.

Oh well, it looks like thunder storms are coming through NYC so at least I’ll get to enjoy wet roads home.

You are making me re-think this whole living in NYC thing. Honestly, if it weren’t for the Broadway musicals, who would live here?

Best to you and Susan!

(Tried the shot blocks from your Race to Nowhere this AM. Pretty good.)

wait a minute…you guys have group rides at 0630 on friday mornings???? does everyone “work” from their cycling offices in utah!!!! ..nice ride, great video although I think we all need another core team member to wear the helmet cam so we can see you in full sprint…I’m just sayin’

Damp, if that. C’mon, Fatty, you used to live in the Northwest. Just enough to make you think twice about going fast but not enough to actually slow you you down BECAUSE OF THE WATER (not your own nervousness). No way I call that truly wet.

Go San Jose! Hold it down and take it out over that second place team with room to look over your shoulder!
The wet / damp debate is a Dug / Rick Sunderlage thing. For myself, I was never nervous about the road condition on this ride, so never considered the wet / damp question until it was brought up. – FC

Awesome, AWESOME soundtrack. Not enough hair metal is used in cycling videos.

Is it just me that thinks every rider in this years TdF should have a helmet cam and they’re all broadcast simultaneously with the viewer selecting who they watch? I think that’d be cool, but if they’re banning radios then I doubt headcams would be acceptable. Darn UCI.

I’d have to go with the official Top Gear (from the BBC) rating for the road conditions: Mildly moist.

Great video. Loved the action, music and subtitles. Dug is the second guy I’ve seen wearing Mechanix work gloves (at least I think he was). Never saw this until recently. Is this some cool, new rider thing that I can only hope to aspire to?

Stats for that ride? ie. Distance, vertical for that climb? Great video. Have been toying with my headcam recently too. Want to mount direct to the frame/fork/seatpost, but the shake/vibration makes for crappy footage… a work in progress.

Thanks for sharing. Nothing quite like a slightly damp (or moist, if you will) road ride!

Elden, I’m glad you appreciate what you’ve got; you KNOW it’s good.

I might have passed the truck on an unmarked road, if I was 100% sure it wasn’t going to left hook me during the procedure. I did a lot of slow vehicle passing in Switzerland a couple of years ago. Not a big deal there, it would seem, just watch out for the crotch rockets screaming up from behind…

Noting that Fatty never rides in the drops (I never have either)can anyone answer a question that I am never likely to be able too as it involves racing, gear changing and going fast. How do the Campag boys go changing gears while winding up towards a sprint finish. I was just wondering that’s all.
Actually I did go down into the drops once it took me two days to get back and I’ve never tried it again since. Have to wait to see the video at home as work does not like vimeo.

Fatty…is your helmet-cam image-stabilized? I just can’t figure out how it’s so smooth. And your helmet mount, do you descend sitting upright? Cuz your view is spot-on both climbing AND descending. But if you never use the drops, I guess your position is relatively the same. I’ve got a cheap-O cam (won’t say which one) but it seems ok…but when bar-mounted it vibrates like mad and the resulting vid is pretty much unwatchable. Then the helmet mount…whenever I change my position (hoods, flats, drops) the view changes accordingly. ALSO…do you actually carry the cam on your helmet the entire ride? I carried it on my helmet last night for about a 15 minute downhill..and by the botttom it felt like I had a bowling ball up there (the cam only weighs 6.5oz per our postal scale). You must have very strong neck muscles or a high tolerance for pain.