You Look Like My Ex. I love You.

Scientists have long been fascinated by why people are attracted to other people. Every year, new theories emerge about what we look for in a potential mate. Some say that men look for women who remind them of their mothers, and women look for men who remind them of their fathers. The most common thinking, however, is that we each have a ‘type’ that we subconsciously seek out.

“People have a type and it’s not necessarily about height or race or hair color, but a lot of it is about face shape,” said Talia Goldstein, the founder of matchmaking company Three Day Rule.

The idea is that facial structure should be factored into the list of things each client is looking for, along with factors like age, occupation, personality and interests.

“I’ve noticed over my years in matchmaking that people have types,” Goldstein said. “I always ask my clients to send me photos of their exes. They say that they don’t have a type, but when I see the photos, to me they look very similar. The exes may be different ethnicity, or have different hair color, but their facial structures are the same.”

Enter Match.com, the behemoth of online dating. For a mere $5000 for six months, you can send Match a photo of your ex and Match will work with Three Day Rule to use facial-recognition technology to find you dates. (Readers note: Life in the Boomer Lane doesn’t know what “three-day rule” means, but she is pretty sure it has little to do with “three dog night”).

For those of you who like the idea but think $5000 is a steep price, you should know that there are other benefits of membership. One is that experts will accompany you on your dates, and give you feedback. For an extra $1000, they won’t give the feedback in front of your date or leave with your date and stick you with the bill.

Lest any of you are now screeching “I would pay five thousand dollars to NOT date someone who looked like my ex!” LBL says this service is clearly not for you. Neither is the service for men who can’t remember what their ex looked like or no idea what any woman looks like above the torso.

Match.com users can also avail themselves of the use of the “Guardian Angel” a necklace or bracelet that makes your cell phone ring when you are having a boring date. For a fee of $120, the user can notify the person listed as emergency contact. LBL wants all potential users to know that for far less than $120, she will personally call you. You can then hand the phone to your date and LBL will notify him that you left home without applying your ointment but that the doctor doesn’t think you are contagious anymore, and the pustules do seem to be clearing up somewhat.

There is good news in all this for boomers. As we age, and our life experiences afford us a heightened awareness and sensitivity and a better understanding of the meaning of life, we leave the shallow attractions of our youth behind. We develop, instead, a deep appreciation for factors other than good looks and buff bodies. We now select partners based on who is ambulatory, who can feed themselves and who leaves the bathroom in habitable condition. And of course, who has a solid retirement plan.

LOL! This has to be one of my favorites! And there is no effing way I want to find anybody who even remotely looks like my ex; the guy I currently fantasize about thankfully looks totally different. There is also no effing way I would pay Match.com $5000. Ew!

Very interesting…current husband # 2 has a totally different personality than #1 had, and now that I think about it, they both have beautiful blue eyes. Not sure on the facial structure. At this point, just seeking a domicile where stuff isn’t scattered all over the place. Is the bar lowered as we age?

Great article Renee. One more reason why so many women choose women that look just like their ex. Thanks for sharing. Lisa Copeland….the #1 Dating Coach for Women Over 50 athttp://www.findaqualityman.com

Can you put down as a requirement, “not look like my ex” and upload a picture? I was watching this African American woman on a show this morning and she said she was looking for a BMW – Black Man Working. She had the audience rolling.

OK, I don’t know what got into me – my ex-husband looks like Kenny Rogers in Kenny’s younger years & my current husband looked like Jack Nicholson when I met him! I don’t think there could be 2 more different types – although they both have kind of round faces, now I think about it?

Years ago a close friend of mine ended a shaky marriage with a terrible man, and promptly introduced me to a new love who could have been Mr.Terrible’s twin. So flabbergasted was I that the guy still thinks I’m a mute.

As for me, I’m a widow who enjoyed a marvelous marriage, and after four years alone I met my Now Partner. He looks something like my husband, has the same background and ethnicity and a lot of the same quirks. So far that’s a good thing. As things proceed we might move on to in-restaurant battles, though. Can I list you as my Guardian Angel contact?

My oldest son definitely has a type, many of his girlfriends have looked very similar. And none of them look like me-thankfully.
when I represented people getting divorced, I was often stunned by how similar a current partner looked like the soon-to-be ex-spouse. We humans are so strange.

Tell me this is a joke. The four men I have had serious li g term relationship s with looked nothing alike, nor did they have much in common. And the last thing in the world I or my date would want on a first date is a third wheel criticize and critiqu ing every move. First dates are hard enough as it is.

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