My Journey of transformation on my quest for never ending love making everyone feel normal; one disastrous relationship at a time

Cheerleader

I have to admit I was falling hard and fast for Jolly guy. Just like I always do, but there was definitely something different about this one. It was fun after fun and party after party and club after club. I had never been out so much in my life. Outfits and limos and glitter and glitz. It was awesome and I was getting addicted to the high of having fun. The drinks, the dancing, the glamour of it all. Jolly guy seemed to have himself very well put together. Owned his own home, had plenty of adult “boys and their toys” and gadgets and a group of like-minded friends. He worked a full-time job, had an ex-wife, a family, two daughters. The package presented itself in a very well wrapped gift box with a bow on top all for me. There had to be a catch right? This kind of guy is online just waiting to meet me? I found that impossible to believe. I also didn’t want to know what the issues were with Jolly guy and why he was still single cause right now things were too good and I was having too much fun. We went to his local bar one night, the one I got sick in and met up with a few of his friends. He and I were drinking and kissing and one of the girls came over to talk with us. She had spunk and was lively and a little rough around the edges, but beautiful. As we are chatting she is telling me what a great guy Jolly guy is. How’s he’s sensitive and funny and outgoing and so far didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. And then, all 5’2″ of her looks up at me and says “And I’m not scared of tall chicks who hurt my friends.” What? What did she just say? Did she just threaten me? Am I in the movie Mean Girls? Who says that anymore? She walked away and I looked at Jolly guy and asked “Did you hear what she just said? I think she just threatened me.” He said he wasn’t listening but assured me she didn’t threaten me, but I knew she did. Ok, whatever. I never understood the ability for someone to interject themselves into someone else’s relationship. I get wanting to protect your friend, I get wanting to share all the awesome things about them that you know, but to just simply put yourself as a participant into someone else’s relationship is, in my opinion highly inappropriate. Not only inappropriate but damaging. Especially if there is any sort of issue to begin with. Any sort of doubt, or insecurity. Having someone else’s opinion thrust at you just makes things worse. The feelings start to come up that make you question….why are they telling me this? What happened in the last relationship that no one’s telling me? Why can’t this person tell me themselves about what they want and how they feel? Did my significant other put this person up to this? And if your significant other knew this was happening wouldn’t they feel mortified that someone was getting in the middle of your relationship? I don’t know. But what I do know is if any of my friends ever did anything like that, they would get a strong talking to from me. I don’t need your help. I don’t need to be sold on someone. Either what I am doing is telling them and showing them how I feel or it isn’t. I don’t need a personal cheerleader. Now on the other hand….I would understand if my old school Italian father said something like that “Hurt her and I can make you disappear.” That makes perfect sense to me. So I steered clear of that friend for a bit, just to be safe. A) Because I didn’t think she was kidding and I don’t know how to fight and 2) I didn’t like knowing that she knew him better than me. So, I kept my distance all the same.