AH HA - time for a Satirical Story

Once upon a time, there was a baby born in the County Hospital.* He grew up on a farm his parents bought with an FHA loan.* He joined the Army* where he stayed for 20 years. He went to tech school* while in the Army under the training plan*, and graduated with high honors. He then went to State U* on the GI Bill.* After graduation with a BS in Agriculture, he went to work for ASCS*. (Agricultural Stabilization and Conservation Service*) Soon, he got married and bought a small farm with a subsidized loan.* He had some hard times, but came through droughts OK because he always bought his crop insurance.* With the help of the County Agent* his wife learned to can and grow a garden, to help reduce their bills. Their children were born in the County Hospital*, and went to the public school*. The children were in 4H* and FFA*, and even got high marks in school athletics.* In time, he became quite well to do, but always kept his money in an FDIC* insured bank. One day, the Corp of Engineers* representative told him he would have to stop plowing 23 acres of wetland in the back part of one of his fields. Erosion was causing the local river to fill up with mud from improper farming practice. Full of outrage, he started a political campaign* based on the old fashioned virtues of freedom from government interference. "After All" he would tell his audiences, "I never took a thing from the government in my life".

* - the asterisks mark things paid for in part or whole by government. Maybe I should not have put this here. After all, it isn't Satire, it is true.

Answers

This illustrates a point that I was just thinking about and that I've
had trouble putting into words.

Even if the Y2K-doomers, especially North, Hamasaki, et al, were right
about the impact of Y2K, I would still maintain that they are wrong
about the appropriate reaction to that impact. The idea that anyone
should "prepare" in the way that these folks suggest, and to do so
before the masses panic, has always rubbed me the wrong way. It is an
attitude of "I'm gonna get mine while I can" that in my mind is no
better than the attitude of a rioter or looter that they fear so much.
If there truly is a crisis, then the correct response is not to start
hoarding supplies and withdrawing from society.

I left out a lot to keep it short. Fire stations, public libraries,
museums, zoos, roads, 40 odd types of education loans/grants and I
only mentioned the GI Bill, never mentioned that military pension, or
Social Security or Medicare or Medicaid or TVA or flood control or
disaster prevention/relief, I didn't even mention the cops!

We want freedom from government intervention in our lives! Which
part? Or are you just some more of the jerks that want free services
and don't want to pay taxes?

Oh me, we are getting too serious here. AND NOW, BACK TO THE CLOWN
OF Y2K - THE MADSATYRIST!