Monday, October 16, 2006

As far as I know, as a Catholic, I am to believe that "through the miracle of the mass, the bread and the wine substantially are transformed into the body and blood of Jesus Christ." I don’t buy this. Haven’t for a long time. Not sure why. Trying to figure it out. I went to church yesterday just to go to church for the first time in years. I liked it. It was fun to see all the people I know who were there. It was a lot more crowded than I expected. Standing room only. It was weird because I did not have a missal. That is the book you use to follow along, so you know when to do Catholic aerobics. Stand up, sit down, kneel, bless yourself, prepare for gospel reading, and the sign of peace that could be anything from a friendly nod to a full on hug depending on who wants you to be at peace. The missal also gives you the prayers like the Apostle’s Creed, and the Our Father to follow along. You need a hymnbook so you can sing along because nobody KNOWS any of the songs except the first verse of "Amazing Grace" and at Christmas time "Away in a Manger" usually has good participation.

Because I have been to church so many times in my life; I easily rattled off all the prayers and remembered all the rituals, like riding a bike. This reminded of one of the reasons I became such a heathen in the first place. It seemed to me that people were not cognizant of the meaning, and import of the words we were all mumbling, kind of like how we all rattle off the Pledge of Allegiance. Do we really stop and think what it means? Do we consider if we really do pledge allegiance to the flag and to the republic for which it stands? Do we really believe in one holy Catholic and apostolic church? Maybe it is just habit. Maybe it is has meaning beyond description. Maybe it is too frightening to really examine.