Wednesday, May 19, 2010

"Orange"

Hi,Today I'm going to start my day off with "Orange". Not necessarily the fruit, although, we may get into that later, but rather the color. I'm fond of personifying objects in daily life, and while I was driving around yesterday showing houses, I noticed that Orange is kind of a dick. Let me explain:

Orange is that "Hey look at me" douche in the middle of the bar. I mean think about it; if something needs to be seen well, what color is it? Say, for instance, you have a caution sign on the road...Orange. Got some road cones? Orange. What if you have a bus full of kids that you want other drivers to be aware of? Orange. And yes, school buses aren't yellow, they're Orange. Look. Side note: Does this mean the kids riding the shorter white buses aren't as special? (pun intended) What it comes down to is that Orange is sort of full of itself.

Now lets take it a step further. Imagine there is a dude wearing Orange. Not only is he "super awesome" in his own mind, he thinks he's so "super awesome" that everyone around should look and stare at his "super awesomeness". Douche. I think there is only one person in the history of man (if you can call him actually a man) that could pull off wearing Orange: Jesus. But even Jesus wasn't a douche and wore a modest, neutral, brown robe around. (the biblical Hugh Hefner) Although when you're Jesus, you can rock anything.

Even the fruit the Orange is a dick. Try and peel one and not get pissed. The fruit is figuratively telling you "I'm so awesome in here, I'm going to make you work to get in. It ain't going to be easy." Douche fruit.

So if you're wearing a pink shirt with the collar popped, sunglasses at night, spray on tan (Orange?), and drinking Jager Bombs and Heinekens, you might as well hop in an Orange car...Brah...