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10 Reasons I Dread Grocery Shopping

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

I'm not even kidding with the title of this post. Over the years I've become more intolerant of grocery shopping and it's not because of the prices at all. It's the effort and the stuff I gotta deal with when I do it. So I decided to dedicate an entire post to 10 of the reasons I dread grocery shopping and try to avoid it. I'm serious...I am even growing my own veggies just to cut down on how many trips I have to make.

1| The parking lot. I'm serious. The parking lot at most of the stores I go to for groceries is stressful enough to make me throw hands up and go back home. Cars are just zipping around, in and out of parking spots as if they don't care if they run over a small child. People are texting and walking so they don't bother to notice you're waiting for them to cross as they sit there for 10 seconds on their phone. When people walk down the parking row, they walk 5 wide rather than single file. Come on, now... I gots to get by... MOVE!2| No one cares about pedestrians. Maybe I'm hypocritcal (ha!) but when it's my turn to go through the crosswalk, it's as if I'm invisible. Sometimes I wonder if I'm already dead and a spirit and that's why no one can see me. They just go cruising on through, making me want to scream obscenities at them. 3| Carts. UGH, carts. I always end up getting one with the most ear piercing wheel. Like can't you hire somebody to repair these stupid ass things? And if it's not squeaky and loud, it's jerky. I can't even push it smoothly through the store without feeling like I'm riding a dirt bike. One time, I got so pissed off that I grabbed my purse out of the cart, shoved it into a random aisle, stomped my way to the front, and grabbed a new one. Yep, I was a psychopath that day. 4| Produce is always cramped. I swear to God, every freakin time I go to the produce section it's like manuevering through a crevice in a rock. Move your EFFIN cart so I can get to the bananas people. It shouldn't be this hard to pick out fruit. COME ON!!!5| Aisle hoggers. They bring their cart into an aisle, see what they need, then leave their cart to get it. Their cart is in the middle of the aisle so no one can get around on either side. Then they stand to the side of it to get the item they need. Then they are staring and reading boxes all while I'm standing behind their cart. Then if I say excuse me they don't hear me. So by that time I'm livid and I just push their cart out of the way. Whoops. 6| Slow pushers. It's like slow drivers all over again. MOVE!!!!! When you come out of your aisle don't just stand there. Keep moving so the rest of us can get in. 7| Kids. Please don't let your kids run back and forth in front of everyone while they are walking through an aisle. I know it's hell to have to bring kids with you anyways to the grocery store but please at least try and keep them in line. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one that sees these invisible kids because the parents definitely don't even say a word to them. And if it's that impossible to grocery shop without kids, just do grocery delivery. 8| Finding a register. It's like..do you keep walking to see if there's one with a shorter line? No, because by the time you go to another line, and see it's too long, you'll turn around to go back to the original and see that more people got in line so now you're just screwed. Pick a line, pick a magazine, and just be patient. 9| Getting out to your car is a challenge. If it's windy and you have your bags blowing, be prepared to chase sh*t down. Also, be prepared for people to not look when they are backing out. Then you have to load your groceries into the car, break a sweat, and realize how bad you smell. Then if it's summer, you get into a hot ass car and nearly suffocate before you can get the key into the ignition. 10| Maneuvering home. Not only is it a bitch to get out of the parking lot once again, but every turn you make you can hear your groceries go flying. Then it starts to anger you so you by the time you get home you're exhausted and you still have to lug everything in and sweat again and then put it all away. AHHHHHH!So now you see why people hate grocery shopping!!!!

4 comments:

This post reminds me of what it was like to go grocery shopping every single time....when I lived in the city. And to top it off? At the end of the experience, when I would arrive home? not a parking spot to be found. So I double park, put my hazards on, run in with as many bags as I can handle at one time.....unlock 17 locks to get into my apartment....and then run back out to find a cop giving me a ticket for double parking. Yup, don't miss the city one bit! My market on the mountain may be tiny but it has everything I need, there's never a line, there's always a non squeaky cart to be found, there's rarely more than ten people in the whole store.....ahhhhhhh. And when I get home? I hit the button for my garage door and pull right in. Heaven! You know what's even better? Now I send my daughters to the market most of the time - woo hoo!! :)

Aisle hoggers - UGH! They are the worst! Drive me banana sandwich. Last time I was grocery shopping, I had to say "excuse me" twice to these two people chatting & taking up the whole aisle. I'm surprised that I didn't start ramming things with my cart. Ha!

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