..................random excerpts from the beautiful disaster that is my life

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

He's heavy and he's NOT my brother...

so, our marketing department moved to a room on the other side of the wall.

we have makeshift desks and random supplies. we're going through a transition, if you will.

i can handle people pilfering through my desk and eating my treats. i can handle not having a phone or my whiteboard. i can handle my stapler and good pens disappearing.

but we are marketing so one thing that would seem pretty important to have would be a goddamn printer that worked.

instead, we have "the brother." it is the most annoying printer in the world. i have been trying to print a 6-page document for a good two hours. maybe longer.

the IT department set my mac up to print to the brother, and it worked for a couple of days. yet in doing so, they un-installed the printer that resides in our old area from my system preferences... a printer that was actually manufactured after 1975 and efficiently prints a word doc in seconds. why delete that printer? can't i have two printers installed?

so i can't even carry my mac to my old area and print (i tried. four times.) it doesn't make any sense. but then again, why would it?

i have tried everything. EVERYTHING. i am currently in the process of searching the web for a driver that is compatible with my OS. no offense to the IT guys, but they have no clue how to configure, run, or operate a mac. for real. and they resent that marketing uses them. and i'm not a genius but mac's are about the most simple things in the world to run.

anydamnway, i have reset the brother trucker about five times; i've tried saving my document as a .pdf and printing it; i've tried printing from everyone else's Ethernet hook ups; i've tried rebooting my computer; i've tried begging the brother to print... but the bastard just sits there "retrieving data" or sometimes drifting into SLEEP mode.

i have figured out that by printing the pages one by one, i am able to make some progress. it takes about 20 minutes to print one page but at least it prints. or did print. here i am on the final page... number six, and the sonofabitch refuses to print.

the queue says it's printing. it shows that the printer is online. it says page six is printing 900 times. but i can read between the lines... and i can see that it is really saying, "Burn in hell Carly, burn in hell and take your mac with you."

it would not be a big deal but i promised my boss i would have it printed out and on his desk in the morning. and he really does need to look at it before his meeting.

and sadly, i have to be back here early as well. and i have a one hour commute. so you do the math. i leave by 2am, get home at 3am, wake up at 7am... another coffee and excedrin day. oh, and not to change the subject but doesn't the brand "Brother" make sewing machines? what business do they have making crappy laser printers?

it's almost too much. it's almost melt down time. the brother is going down. and i mean down. you stupid effing idiotic, jerky, smelly, douchey, lazy, cheap, racist, crappin', old brother. you are dead to me.