The Real Reason You’re Single And Hating It

As I pulled up the side zipper of my H&M bargain cocktail mini, I learned 3 important things.

I lost weight

I look amazing in emerald-green

I’m the only one who cares

If you don’t mind not be able to sit, eat, drink, and breathe the dress is a great look. But it isn’t the dress in itself that means anything, it’s the reason I bought the dress and tried desperately to fit into it: to stunt.

For a long time I thought I would never attract the right man until I lost weight. That belief is as untrue today as it was 6 pounds ago.

Yes, people are single.

The Dating Truth is most singles are not single for the reasons they believe they are. They’re single because they believe there’s a reason.

For most of my adulthood I believed I was single for 2 significant reasons.

I wasn’t thin enough

I wasn’t successful enough

The latter is a constant work in progress. The truth is, I’m as thin as I’d ever need to be to get a “man”. I’m a size zero in most stores that carry zeros. Sometimes I’m a 2 in pants but even if I were a size 20 there would be a man to love me, if I wanted one badly enough.

Oh, and if I believed I deserved it, love that is.

I went over this theory with a friend of mine not too long ago and she asked, “Well, what are we doing this all for?”

In my opinion, it’s to keep us sane. Smart people need a rationale. There are too many plausible answers when it comes to why people are single so we create explanations, and obstacles, to help us feel better about ourselves.

Even when the justification makes us feel worse, it’s better than not knowing.

It’s better to accept that singles are too picky, too closed-minded, too fat, too shy or living in the wrong city, than for someone to shake their head and say ‘I have no idea why you don’t have a man’.

The reality is, anyone can be in a relationship.

Singles look for rhyme and reason for their single status and sometimes the only reason is that you think there should be one.

Over the years, and saying ‘hi’ to 30 has made me realize that I don’t need to be a CEO or a size 00 before I find love. Those are just achievements that would make me feel better.

Being single is easy to rationalize. It sounds so much easier to quantify why, than to admit that we just don’t know.

Sure you’re ex, was a douche with commitment issues that should’ve realized what they had in you and would’ve if you lived in (insert prominent happening city).

Today, I’m willing to admit that I don’t know why I’m single, and its okay.

If there isn’t a legitimate reason, like I’m not attractive enough, or skinny enough that’s okay too. The Dating Truth isn’t about finding love or a relationship it’s about finding happiness and you can do it as you are, now.

I thoroughly loved your tips on if you want to keep your man.. Though I myself comes from the men fraternity yet could not refrain from liking the minute detail you explained as I Could have easily relate to each point 😄. That's why , the marriage kills the romance because of those bad traits.

Miss Solomon - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

Thank you for your comment, and for reading. My advice is this. A man should be cherishing and chasing you. A man should be worried that he will lose you if he doesn't show you attention. If a man isn't treating you like you're valuable to him, don't stay with him. Show your own value by leaving him alone. You don't need anyone in your life who makes you feel like you're second class. I hope this was helpful.

Miss Solomon - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

Thank you so much for your comment and thank you for reading! I know this is easy to say but the best way to approach men that you like is to remove yourself from the outcome. Yes, you want a date, and I think it's great that you took the initiative but don't beat yourself up about the outcome. The circumstances might not be right. There is one way I recommend taking action in dating to see results. It's a simple process - Step 1. Write down 3 possible scenarios A,B,C - A being if nothing happens, B being if it something happens but not what you expected, C being if your ideal results happen. Then try to imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Prepare yourself for no response, for a rejection, or for a date. If you're prepared for any outcome, its easy to take action. Just don't NEED anything certain result. Just take action because you're a brave person willing to take risks, and go after what you want. Instead of worrying about the result, just focus on taking action. It's not about what happens, it's about taking the action, accepting the result as feedback and moving forward with new information. I think you did a great thing! and the action itself means more than the result because you showed confidence. If you don't get a date, that's ok. But don't stop right taking action where you can. I hope this was helpful.

Danica - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

there is this guy who flirts with me, shows all 32 teeth when smiling at me and sighs around me a lot, well I do like him and think the feeling is mutual, but ive asked men out in the past and that did NOT turn out as I had hoped. but I decided to give it another shot by giving my crush a Christmas card and writing in it the following "me and you coffee with my name/number" and if he is interested he has my digits. is that too much or not.

lizzy - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

i want u to advice me ma.there is dis guy v bn lvn for d past 10yrs i lata told im my filns and he agri to date ever since dat day he hasnt called or text v bn the 1 textn and calln.what can i do