For real?

Monday

Dec 31, 2012 at 7:47 AM

Lou ParrisMountains to Molehills

Mike Duncan of Lake Lure is talking like he’s ready to take his chances going over the fiscal cliff. “I don’t have any confidence in our elected leaders to get anything done, and the news media are trying to hype things, and I’m wondering whether it’s for real,” says Mr. Duncan. “I almost would like to see us go over the cliff and see what the ramifications are. In our household, if we spent like the government is spending, we would have been over that cliff years ago.”

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SOLD OUT, BUT ... : Your Mountains to Molehills columnist is packing his bags ... but wait, we never unpacked from the most recent Mountains to Molehills Cruise.

So there’s nothing to do but count the days until our next sold-out cruise sailing out of Charleston on Jan. 19, when newspaper readers will join us for a Caribbean adventure that is sure to put warm sand between the toes, offer plenty of scrumptious foods for our tummies and deliver roundthe- clock excitement. We’ll be visiting Nassau for a day of shopping, Half Moon Cay for a private-island adventure and the island of Grand Turk, where the water park attracts tourists from around the globe and where the daytime high temperature currently is around 85 degrees but feels like 89. Did we say this adventure is sold out? You’re asking, “Where will the next Mountains to Molehills adventure go?” The inaugural Mountains to Molehills Cruise took folks last fall to New England and Canada, and the sailing was a sellout with people on a waiting list. Oh, why not? Let’s do it again! This is territory you could visit a hundred times and still not see it all. We have limited space available on Royal Caribbean’s Grandeur of the Seas, which will depart from Baltimore, Md., on Oct.

17 for an eight-day cruise that will take us to Halifax and St. John in Canada; Portland, Maine (ooh, more lobstah!); and Maine’s Bar Harbor, a famous colony loved by the Rockefellers ... this columnist, too. The trip also will include an overnight visit in Richmond, Va. Want to go? You can pick up a reservation form and itinerary either at the Times-News office on Four Seasons Boulevard or by calling our travel agent at 336-794-3233.

You can reserve space with a deposit, and you’re gonna love the payment plan — the usual installment option, at zero percent interest, of course.

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THE POOR WIFE: A 70-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting. In court, the judge asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied, “A can of peaches.” The judge asked her why she had stolen them, and she said, “I was hungry.”

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

“Six,” she said. The judge said, “I will give you six days in jail — a day for each peach.”

Just then the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge whether he could say something. “What is it?” the judge asked. The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

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LAST BUT NOT LEAST: Let’s recycle those Christmas cards by sending them to St. Jude’s Ranch for Children. The recycled cards will be sold to help continue work for abused, abandoned and neglected children. Send your cards to St. Jude’s Ranch for Children, Recycled Card Program, 100 St. Jude’s St., Boulder City, Nev., 89005. All types of greeting cards, with the exception of those made by Hallmark, Disney and American Greetings, are used for the project.

The St. Jude’s recycled card project also needs birthday and thank-you cards. You can order recycled cards from St. Jude’s either by phone at 877-977-7572 or by mail at St.

Jude’s Ranch for Children, ATTN: Donor Office, P.O. Box 60100, Boulder City, Nev., 89006-0100. Cards are sold in packets of 10 for $10 and are available in the following categories: general Christmas, religious Christmas, Easter, birthday, thank-you and alloccasion greeting cards.