Rudolph had enjoyed a fairly long, successful and happy life. In recent years, however, he had experienced some incredibly painful headaches. The headaches became so frequent and so painful that ordinary pain killers had no effect on his condition. His career and his daily life were being hurt by his malady. He decided to see a doctor about his condition.
He was referred from one specialist to another, to no avail, until he finally found a doctor who solved the problem. “The good news is I can cure your headaches,” said the doctor. “The bad news is it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one heck of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove your testicles.”
Rudolph was shocked and depressed. But since the headache made it impossible for him to concentrate long enough to answer, he decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, his mind was clear and free from pain. He felt like a different person. He realized he could make a new beginning in life.
He walked past a men’s clothing store and thought, “That’s what I need: a new suit!” He entered the shop and told the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.” The salesman eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see…size 44 long.” Rudolph laughed, “That’s right. How did you know?” “It’s my job,” replied the salesman.
Rudolph tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Rudolph admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?” Rudolph thought for a moment and said, “Sure.” The salesman eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see…34 sleeve, 16 1/2 neck.” Rudolph was surprised. “That’s right. How did you know?” “It’s my job.”
Rudolph tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. As Rudolph adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about new shoes?” Rudolph was on a roll and said, “Sure.” The salesman eyed Rudolph’s feet and said, “Let’s see…9 1/2 wide.” Rudolph was astonished. “That’s right. How did you know?” “It’s my job.”
Rudolph tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Rudolph walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “How about a new hat?” Without hesitating Rudolph replied, “Sure.” The salesman eyed Rudolph’s head and said, “Let’s see…7 5/8.” Rudolph was incredulous. “That’s right. How did you know?” “It’s my job.”
The hat fit perfectly. Rudolph was feeling great. Then the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?” Rudolph thought for a moment, but then said, “Sure.” The salesman eyed Rudolph’s waist and said, “Let’s see…size 36.”
Rudolph laughed. “No, you finally got one wrong. I’ve worn size 34 since I was 18 years old.”
The salesman shook his head and said, “You can’t wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache.”