Sluts Unite!

"Should 'Slut' Be Retired?" Anna North wants to know. History: slut was bad, then it was good, now it's bad again. Apparently. Fucking tiresome!

Some asshat wrote a book called I Am Not a Slut. (Congrats on that.) The author, polysyllabic, claims: the word slut "is too dangerous to be reclaimed." Fucking A.

I need a trigger warning for this op-ed. I need a trigger warning for women who need trigger warnings. I need a trigger warning for trigger warnings. I need a trigger warning for women who think the word slut is "dangerous."

Thankfully, some women are still sluts and proud. "Just Fucked Edelman No Lie" is this week's slut hero. Slutty and proud! Slutty and uploading it! Sluttiness maximized! You go, slut! That chick wins the XLIX Superbowl of sluts, in my book.

There are many following paragraphs in which intensely dull people share convoluted ideas regarding sluthood ad infinitum.

As I noted on my Twitter, in Porn Valley, one director used to refer to his stars on his box covers (remember those?!) as cum dumpsters. So take your "slut," and shut up.