Letting Go of the Old and Embracing the New

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Monthly Archives: December 2016

I am sure we all agree that this year has been full of surprises, heartaches and uncertainty. From the political world to the world of entertainment, from our personal lives to the state of humanity, things have tossed and turned all year round. It is also true that there has been some good news here and there. Harder to find, but not less true.

Let’s accept what happened that changed our lives, the ones we could control and the ones that are out of our hands. This would be the hardest part. It is only human to just go out and try to change the world when we have witness things we cannot comprehend. Now, we must remember that some people will find those same things to their liking. We must not judge them too harshly, not everyone is wicked, racist, misogynist and evil. Good people exist in every group, as do bad ones. I want to stick to that premise. It gives me hope!!!

When it comes to accept each other, I am unapologetic. Never would say it’s easy, but also never would completely give up on people I like and love because we have disagreements. What I see missing is the willingness to talk to each other. To listen to the other side, to present our arguments without insults. To try to agree to disagree is not simple. Some opinions are so deeply felt, we cannot pretend to change them in one wave of a magic wand. Unfortunately, this is what I see: if you do not agree with me, I will disown you, break all ties with you, even if you are family. Sorry, not me!!!

Life has taught me that things rarely remain the same. Opinions change, circumstances change, the world keeps moving no matter what. Whatever is going on today, will end at some point, nothing is eternal. So I am not willing to give up on my friends and family because we disagree. I say, let’s concentrate on making the world around us a better place. There is no way we can changed most unpleasant things that happened, but there are many small things we can make better and should!!!

The fact that we lost so many wonderful people this year is a sobering thought. I lost my mother and my most favorite cousin, my brother, in a matter of months. Most difficult months I have had in years. The experience left me thinking that there is more to the world than politics. At the same time, it taught me that family is not always the group you were born into, family is also the friends that are there when you need them. I have been blessed with many.

Then there are the people that we always saw as part of our world because we saw them in movies, television, read their books, saw them performing, sang their songs. They made the background of our lives and we are definitely going to miss them. It gave me hope that every time one of them passed away, the world mourned regardless of political views.

Humanity has been specially cruel to itself this year. We only have to look to Aleppo. Famine and disease, terrorist attacks and senseless murder have been in the news seemly every day. It was so hard, I stopped watching television. Books offered me a calmer, happier and more sensible world. As you can imagine, I read many books this year!!!

Uncertainty is part of what 2016 leaves behind, but it’s up to us to try and make sense of that. It is our duty to ourselves and our families and friends to come together and work for a better year than 2016. May 2017 give us that chance!!!

Today is the Winter Solstice. It is the shortest day and longest night of the year. Also marks the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. Most people don’t even realize the importance of this day throughout history, but we sure take part in celebrations born in those ancient times!!! I am sure you are wondering what does this have to do with the holidays. Bear with me.

Back in those days, the solstice marked the rebirth of the sun. In other words, this marked a reversal: shorter days and longer nights, but also the promise that from this day forward the sun would stay in the sky a bit longer every day. Celebrations lasted for days involving everyone. Sharing food, an important part of the celebration, was meaningful because it represented faith in the return of the sun and the harvest.

Many cultures practiced this reversal. Romans had the Saturnalia, a seven-day celebration. Men dressed as women, masters as servants. There were greenery decorations, lighted candles, exchanges of gifts. The Celts had the Yule Log burning brightly for days to encourage the sun to come back. Druids gave mistletoe as blessings. In Scandinavian countries, presents of apples and oranges decorated with cloves, huge pine trees decorated with lights were part of the celebrations. Everyone was served mead and ale, or wine and beer depending on the country.

Aside from the celebrations, there were other activities designed to help the people survive the cold months. First, the slaughtering of animals because they would not have to be fed in the winter. So fresh food was plentiful for days. The rest of the meat was preserved to last through the cold months. Second, fruits and roots were stored in dry and dark places for the same reason. It was a matter of survival to monitor the food stored for those months ahead. Ancient people took this very seriously.

Regardless of our spiritual or cultural heritage, if we live in the Northern Hemisphere today, we find ourselves caught up, perhaps out of habit, in the commercial swirl known as the holidays that leaves us depleted in more ways than one. I don’t have to remind you of our endless trips to stores, supermarkets and such to prepare for the celebrations to come.

In our quest to please ourselves, our families and friends, to follow tradition or simple go with the flow, this is why we mark this event. In our cultures, this is ingrained one way or another. So many religious and pagan and cultural traditions begin around this day. A good reason for calling these days: Happy Holidays!!!

November was to be thankful, December is to be generous!!! It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, isn’t it? Everywhere we see decorations, hear Christmas carols, see the SALE signs. We have decorated our homes and are busy buying our presents. Of course, some of us already have them. I am not that organized.

I loveChristmas, but it has never been my favorite holiday. It is, though, an important part of my family’s celebrations. They simply love the whole package: from buying the tree, to decorating, to planning to spending time with loved ones, to figuring out what to give to whom. I have made it my job to organize this time every year. It’s what gives me the most pleasure, and I do it all for them. It’s a warm feeling, a feeling I revel on.

Now, in the middle of the planning, decorating and organizing, I have another important task. I remember the different charities I support during the year with my donations. I help where I think it’s most needed and there is a lot of need out there. The thought that I can bring a small amount of joy to others besides my family, really makes this the best time of the year!!!

Of course, you can do this in so many different ways. When I lived abroad, my involvement was more personal, more hands on: helping collect and wrap Sinterklaaspresents for children who otherwise would not get any, helping organize a Christmasparty for the elderly with the AmericanWomen’s Club. Before that, just getting presents to people I knew needed them more than we did. Didn’t take much, but was so rewarding.

The thought that you can make a difference to one person, makes it worthy. Our lives are so much better than most, our duty is to be generous. It can be anything: donate to a women’s shelter, volunteer to spend time with the children, visit a hospital and bring some small presents, help at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen, visit an old people’s home. Make it personal, see how your gesture makes them smile.

It’s December, it’s the month to share our good fortune, it’s the time to extend our hand in friendship. This month, more than any other, should be the time to get out there and give back!!!