Justin Bieber’s “stolen personal footage” surfaces …

Justin Bieber’s “stolen personal footage” surfaces …

Remember when Justin Bieber claimed he had “personal footage” stolen from him, and everyone just assumed it was a sex tape and nude pics? Well, it’s actually far worse; according to a few eagle-eyed Twitter followers and the good people at Gawker, Justin orchestrated the whole thing to promote his new music video with Nicki Minaj — wait for it… — “Beauty and a Beat.” GROAN. Whoever came up with that needs to be beaten with sticks, because that’s just terrible.

Bieber claimed a couple of days back that he had a laptop and a camera stolen at a show, and tweeted about having “a lot of personal footage” on the “stolen” equipment. Thoughts immediately turned to sex tapes and other spicy possibilities. A day goes by and an anonymous Twitter user named “gexwy” shows up and starts harassing Bieber, alleging to be the guy who stole his shit. He released two entirely innocuous videos of Justin Bieber to prove he was “legit,” and promised to release the really scandalous stuff today at noon. Justin Bieber himself somehow managed to local this nobody’s tweets from the deluge of @’s he gets every second, and tweeted back: “No matter what you have and what you post tomorrow i know my fans wont leave me. screw it. #toostrong” What could it be?! “TOMORROW PUNK!” replied gexwy before signing off.

Fans of the Bieb noticed that, around the same time, Nicki Minaj also tweeted about a “BIG surprise” today at noon (as did Justin). And then a screencap from the music video for the Bieber-Minaj collaboration “Beauty and a Beat” suddenly showed up on VEVO (above). And Perez Hilton also dropped an “exclusive” about “scandalous footage” from Bieber’s stolen gear that looks suspiciously set in a similar scene as the “Beauty and a Beat” video.

So basically, Justin tried to draw attention to a video that I really don’t care about by teasing a non-existant sex tape that I barely care about. Fantastic. Well the joke’s on you Bieber, because I would never watch one of your sex tapes to begin with. Mostly because I envision it to be something like nine seconds of actual sex followed by twenty minutes of crying while Selena Gomez looks uncomfortable.