Search

If you haven’t noticed lately, the resurgence of the Miami Dolphins has created quite a stir nationwide. Sure, some of it involves Reggie Bush, and a Mike Nolan defense that’s finally living up to its promise. However, at the center of the frenzy is unlikely hero and sex symbol Matt Moore.

The buzz began in earnest, as Californians got their first taste of the journeyman signal caller during Miami’s tilt with the Chargers. Immediately Californians began gathering, demanding that Moore come to the people immediately. Their cries unheeded, countless protestors wouldn’t budge, leading to a series of unfortunate beatings and pepper spray incidents.

But the mayhem didn’t stop there. Two Dolphin games in New York in the span of fourteen days turned the Big Apple and surrounding areas into a firestorm of Moore Mania. Over 1,000 arrests, with near riots every day. “The 99% wants Moore,” crowds chanted while being dragged away by police.

New York and California aren’t alone. Tent cities have cropped up nationwide, full of people desperately hoping for Moore. With the rising star only scheduled to visit Dallas, Boston and Buffalo from here on out, expect these protests to spiral out of control well past the end of the season. Egypt, Syria and Greece have also begun to feel effects of the craze. It would be overwhelming to many, but the blossoming signal-caller is taking it all in stride.

“My main focus right now is just to win games, spread the ball around, move the offense and win. That’s all I care about right now,” Moore said in a completely unrelated, actual news article.