Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Older Boy is now 12, in 7th grade, and puberty has hit full force. That boy is now about an inch or two taller than me (I’m 5’1”). His voice is uncontrollably cracking and squeaking. And he’s got some nice pimples sprouting on his nose.

I only had a sister so I've never really witnessed a boy going through puberty, but here’s my chance. It’s amusing and amazing all at the same time. Even his face is starting to age. I swear every day I look at him and he looks older.

OB: How long does puberty last?
FH: It depends on the person. It can take a couple of years.
OB: Oh crap!
FH: Why? Are you getting acne or something?
OB: What’s acne?
FH: Pimples.
OB: I have a lot of those.

Being the skin conscious person I am I’ve been trying to keep an eye on Older Boys skin. Now that he’s growing pimples like he’s being paid to do it I figured it was time to move past the usual bar of soap. Considering I’ve never had to really shop for acne products I wasn’t sure what to get him. The poor guy has some dry patches in addition to the acne so I got him some Stridex face wipes and some light moisturizing lotion.

The best part was when I was trying to instruct him on how to use the products, especially when I showed him how to properly put the lotion on his face. I’m going to enjoy having boys go through puberty, because once the girls are old enough to hit it the whole game is going to change. Oh well, at least I know what happens when girls go through puberty first hand.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

It’s been a very long time since I’ve been on here. I’m giving it a genuine go though again because 1.I really miss the relief of blogging, 2.I miss having other women to bounce ideas off and 3.

First off I’ve had another beautiful daughter. Baby JC is now toddler JC at the amazing age of 2 years old. Baby RJ is 2 months old. If you recall, I have three stepsons that live with me full time for the most part. Now add that up. That’s right, 5 kids in this house. My very own basketball team. I don’t even know where the days go sometimes. Between 1 preteen, 1 toddler, 1 infant, 2 middle children and the 2 fur balls I’m running around with my head in a tizzy. But apparently I’m doing something right because everyone is healthy and well.

I’ve found myself wanting to share so many things and then forgetting about them. If fact, I had to go read my last blog just to get an idea of exactly what was going on when I last posted. It is interesting to me that the last post was about Older Boy and basketball season and me feeling frustrated in having to keep him overnight because 1.Jane was not interested in bringing him to his games and 2.I was truly worried that if Older Boy did go to Jane’s house he wouldn’t get enough sleep to have the energy for his games.

It’s interesting because right now it’s soccer season. Middle Boy and Younger Boy are both playing and we’re pretty much in the same situation. I told FH that we would just keep all three boys Friday nights for the two reasons listed above. So he extended an invitation out to Jane to come watch the boys play since he’s busy working. We thought it would be great to have both of their moms there to cheer them on. And Jane so notably declined because she’s “not a fan of soccer.”

When I heard that I bit the inside of my cheek, sucked in my breath, and let it out. She for the first time since soccer started last month came out at the end of Younger Boy’s soccer game. Note, the only reason she did this was because I had plans that I couldn’t miss and I needed her to come be with them. I didn’t want them waiting around for two hours by themselves at the soccer field. I saw her out of the corner of my eye and told the older boys that their mom was there. Another mom that I was sitting with asked me “Is that awkward?” I told her it still kind of was but that I had pretty much gotten used to it. I didn’t have to like her but I could be courteous to her and friendly for the boys’ sake.

Jane didn’t watch the game and talked to the older boys about video games instead. I decided that it was at least a good thing that she was taking time to talk to them and show interest in them. So I made sure cheer Younger Boy on and high fived him at the end. I was rather disappointed that Jane didn’t at least acknowledge Younger Boy’s efforts in the game or congratulate him or anything.

Middle Boy’s couch had expressed worry that they would have to forfeit and his game started two hours after the end of Younger Boy’s. FH had shared this with Jane. I suggested that they could either go out to breakfast in town or if she wanted to go home I would have FH text her if the game was cancelled. She never really answered. I’m fairly certain that she brought the boys home and went to bed since she works the night shift.

I was less then pleased, but since I was the one with plans that I couldn’t miss I had to just accept it. Although I think it’s absolutely irresponsible to not at least try to bring a child to a sporting event that a child is very much excited about. I guess that’s the life. I often find myself having to remind myself that I would really hate it if she dared try to tell me how to spend my time with the boys, so I make sure to hold my tongue when it comes to trying to suggest too much to her.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

First off - Happy New Year!! I've missed you all and I'm really going to try to make a little more effort to pop in more often. I really miss blogging and I really miss all of you and your fabulous wisdom and sisterhood in the world of motherhood and stepmotherhood. I’m still working on what 2012 will be the year of by the way for those of you that have seen my New Year’s expectations blog. I think that perhaps I’ve stumbled upon it and just need to fine tune it a bit.

On to the show. Now that I have a biological child who has made want to just rip my hair out at times I’ve had moments where I feel bad for any impatience with the boys. However, I think its more frustration that I don’t have that bond with them. I’ve been working on building my own bonds with them. And each one of them is different.

I’ve put a bit of thought into it lately. Older Boy is playing in the city’s youth basketball league. I’m so excited for him. He loves basketball and I’m so happy that he’ll get some more socialization out of doing something he loves. The bittersweet thing about it though is that I’ll be giving up my “Me” time on Saturday mornings.

Jane has been rather dedicated to taking the boys every weekend. There have really only been 2-3 time that she’s cancelled on them since we moved. I don’t know if being closer has done the trick or if now that they are older and all potty trained, or if maybe she’s finally seen the light (or a glimmer) and is trying to make up for the time she’s missed out on. Either way, I won’t lie. I love being able to sleep in on Saturday morning and not have my hubby or the boys to wake me up or to be responsible for.

Back to the point … Older Boy’s games are on Saturdays. I called Jane today to talk about what she would like to do in regards to Older Boy and her visits. She informed me that she would prefer it if I kept him here Friday nights and then she would pick him up after the game. I won’t lie. I really wanted to be selfish and tell her that she could bring him to the afternoon games and I would bring him to the morning games. However, I didn’t want to start anything. I am rather picky about choosing which battles to fight. It’s only for a couple of weeks and I know I’ll get some “Me” time in again at some point.

And back to the bittersweet of it. Now that I have Baby JC I’ve experienced that unconditional love where even though I want to pull my hair out, I can wade through the fits and crying and teething and all that. But I still feel that when it comes to the boys I need to put in just a little extra effort. And I feel bad about it. I know I shouldn’t, it’s rather normal and I’m only human. I think it comes to that I try my best to make sure that I treat all my children the same way. And I really, really want to give all of my love. But that unconditional love just doesn’t come as naturally when it comes to the boys.

I’m sure it gets easier the longer you are able to build a relationship with each child…even the biological ones. I think I just need to learn to give myself a little slack and remember that Rome just wasn’t built in a day.