I often get weird and wonderful phone calls, mostly from people trying to sell me something. Usually, I just say no thank you and that is the end of it. But this one company calls me all the time, and after my last chat with them where I let them go through the list of benefits from paying a monthly fee and getting wine with some added goodies and me telling them no (even going so far as to say I am an alcoholic)....this is what happened this morning.

PLEASE note - I am NOT an alcoholic.

So, this morning's episode goes thus:

Phone rings....

Me: "Hello, Irene speaking."

Her: "Hi Ma'am, my name is (insert name) and I am calling from the wine of the month club."Me: "Ahmmm...I am not interested as I am a recovering alcoholic."...............

Today, I have had about 20 unsolicited calls. The last one I got a couple of hours ago, I'd had enough, and without checking the number on the screen, I picked up and yelled "Oui?" at the top of my voice and with the intention of blasting the caller to hell.

There is a company that called me all the time too. Now I say "Hola" and when they mention the company name I just hang up. I am sorry but I already talked with them a thousand times explaining why I don't want their services. I think I will start saying "Hello!" and see what happens.

I've found a counter-script once on the Internet to deal with telemarketers. The game is to reverse the situation and to ask them more or less personal questions. I don't have it anymore, but it's easy to make one. It may sound like that:

—Hello Mr. Smith, my name is John Doe, I'm with RustyCars, do you you have few minutes to spare?

—Sure, how do you spell your name?

—Uh, D.O.E.

—Thank you, how long have you been working for RustyCars?

—I'm sorry, why are you asking this?

—I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience, but I need this information before we can proceed with this call. Is there something that makes you unconfortable about be asking this question?

—Uh, I don't know why you need to know this.

—I understand John, but I really need to know.

—Okay, it's been 6 months. So now, I would like to know what kind of car you are driving.

—I understand. I have one more question for you, John.

—Another question?

—Yes, do you remember two of your best moments during your six months working at RustyCars?

—(Embarrassed chuckles) Why are you asking me this?

—Is it something you don't want to talk about?

With a well-prepared script you can keep going like this for hours, they will get bored fast and will hang up on you.

I often get weird and wonderful phone calls, mostly from people trying to sell me something. Usually, I just say no thank you and that is the end of it. But this one company calls me all the time, and after my last chat with them where I let them go through the list of benefits from paying a monthly fee and getting wine with some added goodies and me telling them no (even going so far as to say I am an alcoholic)....this is what happened this morning.

PLEASE note - I am NOT an alcoholic.

So, this morning's episode goes thus:

Phone rings....

Me: "Hello, Irene speaking."

Her: "Hi Ma'am, my name is (insert name) and I am calling from the wine of the month club."Me: "Ahmmm...I am not interested as I am a recovering alcoholic."...............

Hear her saying to someone at her office..."an alcoholic..." before the phone goes dead...

I swear this is true...you can't make up this #$@...

Many years ago my phone number was similar to that of a local bank. It was completely impossible to convince all the nice old ladies of the fact that they misdialed and that I was not a bank employee, so I resorted to this: