Away Message of the Moment

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Annoying Away Messages

Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, Or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, Then Shott was shot, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott, but Nott brb

When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel the cool rush of skiing in the Alps, or skating in Alaska, or bobsledding in Lake Placid!But, while I'm enjoying my York Peppermint Patty, the rush makes me oblivious to the chocolate melting in my hands. The chocolate gets on my keyboard, my mouse, my desk, and every other spot to which chocolate can stick. And when I go to throw away my York Peppermint Patty, I trip over a shoe because I'm too busy looking for a paper towel. I fall over and hit my head on the corner of my desk, cutting it deeply. The sight of my own blood causes me to regurgitate my York Peppermint Patty. Getting up and running to the phone to call 911, I slip on my own vomit, fall down again, and break my neck. And so my warning to all little children: don't smoke pot before eating a York Peppermint Patty

I can't talk on the computer right know so if, well, actually, I CAN talk on the computer now. I mean I'm at the computer NOW, writing this away message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're reading it LATER, except for you I guess its NOW, like, when you're reading it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly... I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. thier was an old lady who swallowed a spider... that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. their was an old lady who swallowed a bird... a bird, a bird, how obsured. she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. thier was and old lady who swallowed a cat, well how bout that, she swallowed a cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird,she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. thier was and old lady who swallowed a dog, she went whole hog when she swallowed that dog, she swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird,she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. their was an old lady who swallowed a cow, I dont knpow how she swallowed the cow, she swallowed the cow to catch the dog, she swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird,she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I dont know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die. thier was an old lady who swallowed a horse... she died of course.

Why are you IMing me? Can't you see the little yellow tabby thingy next to my screen name? Or am I not on your buddy list? Gee, the thanks I get for being such a good friend... you don't even care if i'm on, do you? You're probably IM'ing me to tell me you hate me... is that right? I can't take this... this stress... too much stress... I've gone to CVS to get some aspirin and maybe a beer.

I know something you don't know. Would you like to know? I could tell you if you want. You do wanna know, right? Are you sure? Because once I tell you, there's no turning back ya know... you're going to be enlightened and there's going to be no way around it. You really wanna know though? Alright... Since you're so anxious to find out I'll tell you...Here it is: I'm not here right now. I'll brb.