Question

Our babysitter cut my toddler's hair without asking me. What should I do?

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Our beloved babysitter cut bangs into my 16-month-old's hair without asking my permission. Her hair had never been cut before, and I wanted to grow it out, without bangs. Our sitter thought it was in her eyes and took the scissors -- snip snip! My child now has crooked, too-short, awkward, ugly bangs! How should I handle this?

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My sister-in-law cut my daughter's hair one time while she was babysitting. She watches my kids one day a week and knows my work number, etc. When I got home and saw my daughter's hair, at first I was more shocked then anything. But I kept my composure and immediately said, "I was going to get her hair cut from a PROFESSIONAL next week, but I guess I don't need to do that now." My sister-in-law said, "Oh, I didn't know." I said, "Well you should have called me." The kicker was she called later that night and talked to my husband because she was all worried that I was mad. I was glad that she thought I was actually. She just should have never taken it upon herself to do that without asking my husband or I first! The good thing is that was 2 years ago, and she has never crossed that line again.

It could be worse... I walked into my 4 year old daughter's bedroom last night to see that she had cut off all of her beautiful long hair. She even managed to cut a set of rather straight bangs. Your daughter may have crooked bangs and an overzealous babysitter, but at least she doesn't have a self-inflicted mullet.
As an aside, when I was a teenage babysitter I was watching a pair of rambunctious identical twins and their toddler brother. Their parents had asked me to help them make birthday cards for their grandmother, which I did gladly. I turned my back for a few moments to help one of the girls glue something to their card. When I turned around and little boy had taken the scissors from the table and cut a strip straight down the middle of his head. (He had beautiful curly brown hair.) Come Sunday I was mortified when I saw them at church with their little boy who had been been transformed from cherub to GI Joe. Needless to say, as a babysitter, I was always very carefull with scissors and children from then on and you would not catch me dead trying to trim a child's hair.

I'd have fired her. Plain and simple. I know it's just hair and it does grow back, but unfortunately I believe in a little something called common sense and obviously the sitter has proven that she has poor judgement. I would not want incidents like this one to happen again in the future!

whoever said it's a matter of culture:no way.Has nothing to do with that matter.I'm spanish proud wife and mother of an american child,and her hair is growing perfectly(no bangs at all) just as my mother did.The thing is,she can't make decisions without asking the parents first.Common sense in any culture.

i'am a mother of a 4 yr girl and i also am 5 months pregnant.except my grandmother gave my daughter a haircut w/o my knowledge or premission. i just shrugged it off. and maby they were right about doing it, kids get crazy with their hair in their faces. i would leave her alone.

I think many people are making a big deal about hair! How silly. Certainly when it comes to a family member (MIL cutting daughters hair). In the case of the baby sitter/nanny it does show bad judgement in cutting the hair without asking, any big parental choices should be run by parents, but people do make mistakes. If it's something that isn't common sense (like your child not eating meat, or being allowed to do certain things) the parents need to make everything that they want known to the caregiver written out so that it is perfectly clear. Or else it is the parents fault. If the caregiver doesn't follow the guidelines it then becomes an issue. But with most things handle problems with forgiveness, grace and love knowing that no ones perfect.

My 4 year-old niece recently cut her own hair. Of course it looked awful, and she was banned from scissors until she was 5. I would expect this sort of behavior from her, but not from an "adult." I would be sure never use this sitter again, if only because I couldn't be sure of what I'd come home to.

At first, I have to admit that my "knee-jerk" reaction was "I can't believe she did that!". However, I think she probably really thought she was helping. If she doesn't have any kids of her own - she may not realize that the 1st hair cut is actually something treasured by many parents. I don't know if you already expressed your disappointment, but I would suggest just letting her know that although she may have thought it helpful - you'd much prefer these things be handled by you. In the meantime, take a few pictures. It may be heartbreaking now - but hopefully in a few years, looking back, it may be funny. (?) I do feel bad for you, though. My daughter's hair 3 good chops off for her Baptism (my husband is Greek) and even though I wanted her hair to grow out - the priest took the pieces in such obvious places - I had to trim my 11 mos old's hair to even it out - believe me - no easy task - not much hair to work with. I do sympathize. Good luck.

"Too Short bangs"
Well I would definetly let your babysitter know exactly how you feel about this. Let her know it is absolutely not acceptable for her to make decisions about your child without your prior consent. Did you let her know your feelings about your childs hair prior to that happening? Communication seems to be a BIG key in this situation. Make sure you communicate everything to her that you think, feel, etc. If you feel like you can't tell her anything then that person shouldn't be watching your child! If the neglect to ask your permission persists with various other situations, it is time to find another means of childcare!

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