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Previously on Adam Riff™:
I want to wear something to said weddings that's interesting but won't irk the bride or groom's parents.

Jon: $68.99 for the suit, $31.95 for the tie, plus shipping and tailoring.Drew: Bruh, what are you doing? Buy a suit you can get more than two wears out of. A red suit is not versatile at all.Jon: [grumbling] Why do you have to be so practical?

Jon: That tie on a red shirt in a black suit doesn't work.

Jon: I wish I had money to burn.Drew:

Russell:Russell: Plus a Superman undershirt.Jon: Heh. If only I could grow a mustache to conceal.

"Yin and Yang. Your opposite energies balance each other out. The black is Yin, slow and yielding, like you, Louis, always thinking before you act. The white is Yang, focused and active, like you, Jessica, jumping into action before thinking it through. Your two energies complement each other, achieving perfect balance. It's the reason Tommy Boy didn't work. Too much white. No balance." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E18)

"The mermaid's name is Seayoncé." (LA to Vegas, S01E08)

"I'm gonna hold on to your food TV." (LA to Vegas, S01E08)

"Do I look like I want to try some bulgogi?" (Black-ish, S04E14)

The Sunken Place (Black-ish, S04E14)

"Don't you worry about your only grandmother. She hasn't shown you all the tricks up her sleeve."
"It's punching. The trick up her sleeve is punching." (Black-ish, S04E14)

"I'm such an idiot for thinking I could revive ska music. Probably just got to wait until gas prices go down and then seven-person bands can tour again." (Alone Together, S01E09)

"It takes people years to get to where I am and all I had to do was show that manager that I was serious, laser-focused, and that she could never, ever, ever escape me."
"Okay, so you're like the lower back tattoo of the service industry." (Alone Together, S01E09)

"Well, I'm a tough critic. I almost didn't like The Emoji Movie." (Speechless, S02E17)

"You can't go to America and start from nothing. That's the lie." (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E08)

"Hallmark invented Valentine's Day, Walmart invented the Fourth of July, and Arbor Day, as we all know, was invented by Carl's Jr." (Corporate, S01E10)

"2000 years ago, Jesus Christ was crucified, and now every Easter, people buy millions of dollars worth of chocolate bunnies." (Corporate, S01E10)

"America is a corporation / And I hate my supportive parents / North Korea is better than America / And I can't pay my student loans." (Corporate, S01E10)

"I'll never forget where I was when I found out. I was eating a bacon, egg, and cheese croissant in my car. I was so upset, I couldn't even finish it."
"Hm."
"I lied. I totally finished it. But I felt bad. I think the mayo was expired." (Corporate, S01E10)

"Oh, no, he tried to talk to me earlier, but I was—"
"Premeditating a swan murder." (Corporate, S01E10)

"Money is an idea, man. Look, there's a reason that a white dude dressed just like you can walk into a bank and get a loan, and you can't even spend a $100 bill, man. I mean, you need to start acting like you're better than other niggas, and then they'll start treating you better than other niggas."
"Yeah, 'cause otherwise, you're just another nigga." (Atlanta, S02E03)

"It's Michael Vick." (Atlanta, S02E03)

A computer-generated smart speaker? (Portlandia, S08E09)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The DeuceThe New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

MLB FoodFest is a two-day, indoor festival in New York City that gives fans the opportunity to try dishes from all 30 ballparks, from the Dodgers' lauded Cheeto-Lote to the Mariners' toasted grasshoppers.

On top of the eats, we'll also be keeping your IG feed fed with a hot dog art gallery, massive popcorn pit, and more.

"The only part of a roast that I like is when you say the nice parts at the end. Maybe I'll just do that."
"I didn't know I was having brunch with Michael Landon." (Crashing, S02E08)

Crashing Season Grade: C

♫: Brockhampton – "Boogie"! (The Mick, S02E16)

"Good insights, gentlemen. And that is what it's like to be a woman in today's business world." (Baskets, S03E07)

Writing a Greg Berlanti film into a Greg Berlanti television programme (Riverdale, S02E14)

"I saw on her Snapchat that she goes to a lot of jam band concerts, so… She likes 11-minute songs! I figure…I'm not as bad as that…" (Alone Together, S01E08)

"You use our Netflix so much that all our suggestions are aimed at you. I don't want to watch Broadchurch, Kenneth."
"Well, you got to give it a chance! It gets really good after the seventh episode!" (Speechless, S02E15)

"Man, don't get me wrong, it's a funny show, but the way they dive into depression, and especially after what he did to her daughter, I was like, 'Can I even feel bad for this horse anymore?'" (Atlanta, S02E02)