Hazel Gaynor: (helps clean up tea) I’ve been a mum for 4 years and 3 months, and a writer for almost a year, so very much a newbie.

Kristi: (grabs last cookie from Hazel’s plate, downs it)

Hazel Gaynor: Are you OK?

Kristi: (gulps tea) You got a column, several blog awards and a TV spot in under a year!? How the heck–

Hazel Gaynor: (Freezes at Kristi’s violent outburst)

Kristi: (smoothes frazzled hair) Sorry. I mean, as a NEWBIE, are you sure you want to continue writing? With all this…uh…hardship?

Hazel Gaynor: Yes, I love the escapism of writing, and the freedom it gives me to put down on paper everything that has been swimming around in my head–

Kristi: But I do that, too, my head’s constantly swimming! Why don’t I have a—

Hazel Gaynor: Don’t worry, Kristi, you will – just keep at it.

Kristi: Worry? Haha, I was just…er…never mind. What do you write about?

Hazel Gaynor: I write mostly about motherhood so it’s actually great therapy as well.

Kristi: Are you suggesting I need therapy?

Hazel Gaynor: No, I didn’t mean that. It’s just amazing how you find perspective in a situation when you write about it. As a blogger, I also get great comfort from reading comments which empathise with my story or can relate to it.

Kristi: (baffled) Perspective? …Empathy?

Hazel Gaynor: I suppose it gives me a much-needed extension to what can sometimes be a lonely existence as a Stay At Home Mum and a writer.

Kristi: You’re so right. I am lonely… behind the keyboard all day…

Hazel Gaynor: You poor thing, here can I pour you some more tea?

Kristi: (dabs eyes with napkin) Thanks. So what makes you suited to being a Write-from-home Mum?

Hazel Gaynor: I sometimes wonder if I am actually qualified at all to be a mother – but then again, who really is? I think we all bluff our way along at some point or another. As a writer, I guess the only real quality/skill you need to make you suited to the job is a passion for and a belief in whatever you’re writing about.

Kristi: (imagines own passions: honking at people who stop at yellow lights, having the last word…) Maybe that’s my problem.

Hazel Gaynor: Whether a good day or bad, I have absolute passion for my children.

Hazel Gaynor: See? That’s great! I suppose as a mum and as a writer, you need plenty of resilience and patience, so maybe those skills help me in both my jobs.

Kristi: Have you developed your writing skills recently or from previous experience?

Hazel Gaynor: I have no prior experience as a writer, at least in a professional capacity, so am very much learning as I go. Fortunately, I have connected into some excellent resources to guide me and point me in the right direction when I am floundering.

Kristi: Where did you work before now?

Hazel Gaynor: I worked for a large law firm in Dublin. I could tell you which one, but then I’d probably have to kill you.

Kristi: Haha…you are kidding, right? Anyway, did working in the law firm lead directly to being a stay-at-home Writer/ Mum?

Hazel Gaynor: In a roundabout sort of way, yes, I suppose it did. To be blunt, I was made redundant.

Kristi: You poor dear! Here, have another…oh…I seem to have eaten all the cookies.

Hazel Gaynor: It’s OK, you don’t have to feel sorry for me – I’m over it now! To be honest, it was a complete blessing in disguise. If I hadn’t lost that job, I would not now be doing the two jobs I have loved the most in my life – looking after my children and writing about them!

Kristi: What did you do before that?

Hazel Gaynor: I suppose I’ve had a pretty un-exciting career really, having worked in the corporate world for as long as I care to remember!

Kristi: Oh, such a pity. Do tell!

Hazel Gaynor: Moving to my first job in London was a real buzz for a young twenty-something originally from a small Yorkshire village. Oh, and the PriceWaterhouseCoopers office I worked in when I lived in Sydney was the most memorable location; looking right over the harbour. I used to get a ferry to work past the Opera House – beats the Dublin commuter trains doesn’t it?!

Kristi: Yes, but those exciting, heady days are all over aren’t they?

Hazel Gaynor: Well…what I do now is even more exciting.

Kristi: Do you feel you’ve gained a valuable life experience? Such as Good things never last… or Always remember to bask in the glow of your previous experiences…?

Hazel Gaynor: Uh…not exactly. I know I am totally biased, but in my opinion, children are the most valuable life experience. Apart from that, every experience in life is a valuable one, is it not?

Kristi: Absolutely! I hope our little chat made you feel better, Hazel. I know it did a world of good for me!

I can’t wait to introduce you to next Guest Star. When it comes to being naturally funny, she and her entire family wrote the book. A lovely lady who’s a burst of energy, always willing to lend a hand. She’s a dear friend to many, and to me since high school.

Susan: They’re great. Don’t have any Johns, but I had this single guy, Brian, who travelled a lot. I’d do things like pick up his dry cleaning, drive him to the airport, clean his apartment, anything a wife would do. I walked in one day and his place looked like a tornado hit it. I just closed the door, thinking he’d left it like that expecting me to clean it up. Turns out he was robbed. I had to file the police report.

Kristi: So you do odd jobs for your clients, as well? That’s going the extra mile…

Susan: Believe me, they’re all odd jobs.

Kristi: (Determined to tackle the tough questions) For instance?

Susan: I have this working mother, about our age—

Kristi: (knee bumps table, spills coke) You do women too!?!

Susan: (cleaning up coke) Of course! Working women need wives as much as men do.

Kristi: (shocked at Susan’s non challant attitude) This is hot scoop.

Susan: (pities Kristi’s pathetic life if she thinks this is *hot scoop*) Anyway, this woman’s the type that if a flier comes in the mail, even if she doesn’t use it, like Geiko for instance, she has me make a file for it. She’s with Allstate and State Farm, but I still have to make a file for Geiko!!

Kristi: (furiously scribbles down *hot* leads) Geiko – got it.

Susan: She’s a clutter freak, saves everything. I say, ‘I’ll just throw this away for you.’ ‘No’, she says ‘let’s make a file.’ She has piles of papers everywhere.

Susan: That drives me crazy. Yesterday I was working with another woman to help de clutter her house. I sorted Legos for 6 hours. Not the big pieces, mind you, but the tiny, itty bitty pieces that make huge pirate ships, airplanes, etc. But I got paid for it.

Kristi: What other skills do you need for this job?

Susan: Skills? I don’t need any skills – how to cut fat off a chicken, maybe. One lady’s kids don’t like the fat so she has me cut it off after I do her grocery shopping. How to buy Christmas presents and decorate their houses. That’s fun.

Kristi: You get to shop?

Susan: I was at the furniture store, for the single guy–Brian–and found him this blue denim couch. I’m describing it to him over the phone, ‘Blue denim, with this stripe on the side…’ He says, ‘OK stop. Is it gay?’ I say, ‘It’s a couch- how can it be gay?!’

Kristi: Even if it were gay you’d think he’d be a little more sensitive to his furniture’s sexual preferences.

Susan: (eye roll) Geez!

Kristi: (double eye roll) Geez!

Susan: And speaking of which, you know what Brian did to me?

Kristi: (Oh no, here it comes) Please don’t tell me.

Susan: On the checks he pays me with, you know the place where you write what the check is for? He writes, ‘So-so *feminine* favours’ except he didn’t use the word *feminine* if you get my drift…then I have to go hand this to the bank teller to cash it!

Kristi: No!

Susan: (laughing) Can you believe that joker embarrassing me like that? The least he could do is to say it’s for UNBELIEVABLE *feminine* favours.

Kristi: Exactly—‘So-so’ isn’t a very good reference, and this is your business after all…