Menu

Monday, June 19, 2017

Moxie's Decision by Hank Quense

Sometimes it’s fun to add a little laughter and satire to our daily routine so that’s why I’m delighted to be a part of author Hank Quense’s MOXIE’S DECISION Blog Tour with MC Book Tours today.

Entertaining from beginning to end, MOXIE'S DECISION is uproariously
funny and satire at its best. Selected as one of
2016's best YA novels: Huffington Post. It’s also a top pick! Indie Reader: 5 stars

You can enter to win a copy of MOXIE’S
DECISION today. Be sure to check out the giveaway details below.

Moxie has a plan; she’s determined to rule as

queen after her father, King Smedley, dies.

But Smedley refuses to acknowledge her as his
heir. Her uncle also wants the throne and he’s already tried once to eliminate
Moxie as competition.

Moxie recognizes she hasn't been
trained to rule and she needs lessons about the real world. Moxie goes on a
quest to learn how to rule and to learn about life outside the castle.

Moxie faces unexpected obstacles as she struggles with adventures in a brutal reality that tests her mettle and determination.

This is a fantasy coming-of-age story that is decidedly different than the usual ones. The book is filled with satire and humor. What more can a reader wish for?

It takes place against the backdrop of Camelot, but this isn’t the Camelot of legends. It’s Camelot in a parallel universe where the Knights of the Round Table play football and Guinevere coaches the team’s cheer leaders. The wizard Merlin struggles to understand the Magic of the Mind using primitive ink stained diagrams and Stonehenge is a theater-in-the-round.

Backstory:
Moxie has a plan to become a decisive, independent-minded woman.The first phase of the plan involves joining the Heroes Guild to learn
self-reliance and weaponry.She is
accompanied by three friends, all knights and graduates of the Guild: Percivale,
Bors and Gareth.

~ ~ ~

Moxie
gulped.In front of her lay her
destiny.Would she get accepted and
become a heroine, or would she get rejected?For the first time, Moxie realized she didn't have an alternate
plan.All her energies had been focused
on this day and Moxie had assumed her plan would work.With mounting anxiety, she climbed the steps
and walked through the doors held open by a porter, who remembered and greeted
the knights.

Moxie
entered a large hallway lit by glazed windows and chandeliers filled with lit
candles.On her left, portraits covered
an entire wall.

"That's
the Wall of Fame," Gareth said."Those are the most famous graduates from the Heroes Guild."

Moxie
observed that all the portraits were of angry men about to smash someone or
something with a large chunk of metal.

To
her right, Moxie saw an area where six clerks labored at desks with quills and
abaci.An open sitting area held stools
where eight men waited.

Beyond
the waiting men was a large office with closed doors

Bors
walked over one of the clerks."Tell the administrators that three Guild graduates want an
audience with them."

The
clerk ignored Bors and continued to scribble on a parchment.

Bors
grabbed the clerk's tunic in one hand and lifted him off his stool.An ink pot fell to the floor."You have my permission to tell the
administrators that we're waitin'."Bors dropped the clerk."Do
it now!"

The
clerk jumped up and ran into the office.He emerged a minute later and held the door open for Bors and the others.

Inside,
Moxie saw a long desk with two men sitting behind it.Both were middle-aged and ate well judging by
their jowly faces and the folds of skin circling their necks. Both had neat,
trimmed beards.They gave a bare smile
at the knights, but had raised eyebrows for Moxie.

Percivale
snapped to attention."Chief
Administrator Thibault and Administrator Castrani, I'm Percivale.My mates Bors and Gareth and I have a request
to discuss with you."

"How
nice to see the three of you."Thibault didn't sound convincing.He was tall and lanky with pale skin, white hair and a long face set in
a permanent frown.

"And
to find you in good health and still in possession of all your limbs,"
Castrani added.This one was short and
pudgy with a mostly bald head.

"Who
is this lady?" Thibault asked.

Moxie
hopped from foot to foot and tried not grimace at the men.

"This
is Princess Moxie.Her father is King
Smedley of Usca.Moxie is the reason for
our visit."

"That
sounds odd," Castrani said."We rarely have women visitors."

Moxie
gulped.She couldn't tell if the two men
were friendly or hostile.Both had rigid
expressions that gave no hint of their thinking.

Percivale
cleared his throat.

Moxie
saw Bors chewed his lip while Gareth picked at a nail.

"You
see, Moxie wants to join the Guild and she persuaded us to plead her
case."

Both
administrators sat back in surprise."Really?" Thibault said."A female trainee?"

"On
our way here," Gareth said, "we was attacked by bandits and Moxie
helped us defend ourselves and killed two of them with her dagger."

"Moxie
saved my life," Percivale said.

Castrani
leaned close to Thibault and whispered in his ear.Thibault whispered back as the two held a
hurried consultation.

Thibault
stared at Moxie.

Moxie
squirmed under the inspection.

"As
strange as this may seem," Thibault said, "Administrator Castrani and
I recently had a discussion on this very subject.We agreed that — possibly — it was time to
admit a woman or two, provided suitable candidates applied for admission."He pointed a finger at the knights."Do all three of you support Princess
Moxie's candidacy?"

Moxie
almost wet herself waiting for the knights to answer.

All
three nodded their heads.Bors said,
"We do."

"Then
it's settled," Thibault said."This will be a scholarship of course, so Moxie won't have to pay
tuition.Will one of you tell my clerk
to fetch Harry?"

Gareth
left the room momentarily to tell a clerk.

Castrani
questioned Moxie."Do you really
understand what we do here?"

"I've
traveled with my friends here and I've seen how they react to emergencies and
how self-sufficient they are.They told
me they learned that stuff here.I need
to learn how to do those things."

"Are
you prepared to dedicate yourself to the training regimen required to graduate
from the Heroes Guild?"

"I
am."Moxie had trouble believing
that she had been accepted.Her life was
about to change forever.When she
graduated, she would be a completely different woman from what she was
today.She had never been so exhilarated
in her life.

A
door in the side of the room opened and an impossibly large man walked into the
room.He had a shaved head and a full
red beard.He wore a red-painted leather
vest with leather trews and heavy calf-high boots.His bare arms rippled with muscles, tattoos
and scars."What?" he roared
in greeting.

"Ah,
Harry.Good of you to interrupt your
training and attend our little meeting."

Harry
walked over and slapped the knights on their shoulders."Still alive?Ya can't be doin' much fightin' or yer'd all
be dead."Harry grinned at the
knights."Still, it's good to see
ya."

Harry
turned to the administrators and waited.

"Er,
Harry," Thibault said, "I want you to meet the newest trainee.This is Princess Moxie.Moxie, this Harry the Murderer."

Moxie
cringed in fear as Harry stared down on her with an expression of disgust and
rage.The man exuded violence.She had never met anyone who could send waves
of fear coursing through her body like Harry did just by looking at her.Even the bandit attack was nothing compared
to what she felt around Harry.

"I
ain't teachin' a bloody woman." Harry rounded on the administrators."Are you two outta yer minds?”

"Harry,"
Thibault said mildly, "we've had a change of policy and we now accept
female trainees."

"Hah.This one won't last two days."

Moxie
saw her dreams collapsing under the scrutiny of Harry, but she wasn't letting
this man destroy her future.She would
not be thwarted by him. She took a deep breath and said, ”Hah.That's how little you know."

Harry
whirled on her."Who gave you
permission to speak to me, vermin?"

Harry
stepped back and examined Moxie once more."Ya ain't a princess once ya go through that door."He pointed to the side entrance."Wanna know what yer are then?Yer pond scum and I'm gonna pound ya inna
ground.Two days under my wing and ya'll
be screamin' to go home."

Moxie
looked at Thibault."This man is
incredibly rude.I assume you'll punish
him for his attitude?"

"Harry
is our chief instructor.His manner may
be a bit harsh, but he is a very good instructor.I'll have a clerk assist you in settling in.Then, in the morning, you'll begin your
training."

Harry
stomped out of the office mumbling curses and slammed the door.

"I'm
sure you'll come to love Harry just like all our trainees do," Castrani
said with a twinkle in his eye.

Moxie's
exhilaration over getting accepted had been tempered by meeting Harry the
Murderer.She would just have to put up
with Harry's rudeness and his boorish manners.

Nothing
would be allowed to impede her journey to become a heroine.

Hank Quense writes humorous and satiric sci-fi and
fantasy stories.

He also writes and lectures about fiction writing and self-publishing. He has published 19 books and 50 short stories along with dozens of articles.

He often lectures on fiction writing and publishing and has a series of guides covering the basics on each subject. He is currently working on a third Moxie
novel that takes place in the Camelot era.

He and his wife, Pat, usually vacation in another galaxy or parallel universe.
They also time travel occasionally when Hank is searching for new story ideas.

This tour-wide
giveaway (prizes courtesy of the author) is for five (5) eBooks copies
(worldwide) of MOXIE’S DECISION and three (3) print copies of MOXIE’S
DECISION (U.S. entries only). The giveaway ends at 12 a.m. (EST) on
Monday, July 3.

To enter the giveaway, just click on the Rafflecopter widget below and follow the instructions. If the widget doesn’t appear, just CLICKHERE for a chance to win a copy of this fun book.

Not sure why my comment didn't work yesterday, but I'm trying again today. Guess that's what happens when you try changing to Explorer from Firefox. Yolanda, thanks for sharing this excerpt and for being a part of Hank's tour.

I would love to hear from you, say hello and leave your blog address - I'll visit, but please take with you my undying gratitude that you stopped by for a read. Be well, be happy, and may your blog surfing bring you joy!