Mercury Video Picks

Chances are, you hate your job. Then again, maybe you enjoy being a mere cog in the capitalist machine, slaving away for rent and booze money while deluding yourself that you'll eventually qualify for a meager pension. Regardless, maybe these work-related DVDs can help distract you from your mind-numbing nine to five routine. Maybe.

-The Office (2001-2003)--I know: Britain = not funny, and British comedy = really not funny. The exception? This brilliant two-part BBC mockumentary about the excruciating drudgery of white-collar employment. Razor-sharp humor and excellent writing and acting makes The Office both hilarious and disturbingly believable--it's part viciously dark comedy and part scathing indictment of office culture and politics. You'll laugh out loud, even as you ponder the benefits of slitting your wrists.

- Playboy's Women of Wal-Mart (2003)--Boasting the tagline "Clothing Rollback!", this DVD claims to feature Wal-Mart's "sexiest assets" sharing their "wildest on- and off-duty sexcapades!" But instead of sordid tales of how erotic it is to work at Wal-Mart, what do you get? A bunch of unsexy photo sessions interspersed with interviews with photographers like George Georgiou (who brags about how he "calms down" nervous amateur models, then walks up to one and introduces himself by shouting "Welcome to Playboy! You ready!?"). Indeed, the whole thing feels cheap, sterile, and like it was poorly made in an overseas sweatshopÉ hey, wait! It's just like shopping at Wal-Mart!

- The Killing Machine (1975)--Coolest job ever? Self-employed kung fu vigilante! When Sonny Chiba returns home from WWII to find his town corrupted with prostitution and crime, he makes the bold business decision of becoming his own boss and starts a kung fu school. Evil-doers soon learn not to fuck with Sonny--it's just a guess, but I think they catch on when Sonny tracks down a rapist, cuts off his junk with a pair of scissors, and then tosses the severed remnants to a hungry dog. I'm officially changing professions, right aboutÉ now. ERIK HENRIKSEN