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TTYM: A ‘Bear’ Naked Tweet, A NASCAR Brawl And No Horsing Around For Berry

November 16, 2012 3:18 PM

What one thing terrifies the NFL’s Eric Berry on the field? Ndamukong Suh’s personal hygiene is more important than you..

And find out how soccer sensation Hope Solo and former Seattle Seahawk Jerramy Stevens spent their wedding day. All that and you know there’s a Tweet gone wrong in this week’s That Thing You Missed.Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Black and Blue?

.Over the years, attention seeking adventurous couples have discovered many unique, possibly even bizarre ways to tie the knot. From ceremonies on baseball fields to underwater scuba nuptials to skydiving vows you see it all these days. And to that I say, eh you’re all annoying – but hey to each their own

Most people vie for the traditional ceremony and rubbery chicken dinner version.

And some folks choose to keep it simple and make it legal in a courthouse.

That’s where embattled soccer sensation Hope Solo and her former Seattle Seahawk TE Jerramy Stevens fiancé spent their wedding day… only Stevens was there after getting arrested on domestic violence charges.

Against Solo.

You may be shocked to learn alcohol was involved, there was a massive melee, a taser gun was used (not by cops) and Solo emerged with a cut on her elbow. Oh by the way, Stevens was found upstairs hiding under a bed – all according to the police reports, of course.

But, don’t worry! Stevens was released due to lack of evidence, the bruised bride was able to pull herself together and the couple got hitched that very evening.

Kansas City Chief’s Safety Eric Berry was sure on the defensive during the Chief’s vs. Raiders game this week. Only, he wasn’t chasing down a running back, he was trying to dodge a horse.

Berry suffers from Equinophobia (fear of horses). Which is pretty damn unfortunate for him ‘cause the Chiefs’ mascot just so happens to be a horse named Warpaint – who trots the field during every single home game.

Now, I may be snarky, but I am not typically amused by other people’s fears. That is until now. This just may be one of the best clips in NFL Films history.

Detroit Lions Coach Jim Schwartz baffled the media on Wednesday when he called defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh performance during the team’s loss to the Vikings one of Suh’s best games in a Detroit uniform.

The lofty praise left many in the media scratching their heads and wondering if Schwartz was at the same game they were. So our Detroit reporters were panting at the locker room door on Wednesday to start questioning Suh about Schwartz’s assessment. Now, Suh is required by the NFL to talk to the media – or he could face fines.

Instead, Suh told the press he was heading to the showers to clean his well, um, I’m gonna call them his “baby makers.”

Hmmm. Perhaps, Suh just got confused when reporters asked him about his number of sacks?

Smoking hot temps, a waving black and white checkered flag, the familiar smell of oil emanating from a track, the sound of engines roaring and most importantly gallons and gallons of beer. Ah, the beloved NASCAR race. It just doesn’t get any better for our red blooded American friends south of the Mason Dixon line.

Until last Sunday in Phoenix, when it did.

You see, Speedway god Jeff Gordon apparently has an ongoing testosterone-type beef with Clint Bowyer and wrecked his car intentionally during the race. And that didn’t exactly sit well with Bowyer’s pit crew. The second Gordon got out of his car they jumped him and a brawl of epic proportions ensued.

Making the drama even better – Bowyer stormed from his decimated car and sprinting furiously towards the fracas. Race officials, however, held him back. Buzzkills!

The best part? After it was over race winner Kevin Harvick told the associated press “I like fights. We should have more fights.”

‘Cause in the immortal words of Ricky Bobby “If you ain’t first, you’re last. You know, you know what I’m talking about?

Warning: video contains some graphic language.

Got a fun story sports fans may have missed? Or an obscure, silly and perhaps gossipy tale we didn’t cover? E-mail Tara Lipinsky at tara.lipinsky@cbs.com or send her a Tweet @TaraLipinsky.