Finding my heart’s desire in my own back yard

“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.”

(L Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz).

“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard.

Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.”

(L Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz).

The living room ceiling wall paper was neither attached nor was it free. It was hanging there, limp and half finished. It started peeling off 2 years ago – ‘a poor decorating job’ he said. I didn’t even notice it anymore.

Each of the pillows on my double bed were different. Two lived unused on the left side because age had rendered them flat and they smelt a bit musty. The other two had more puff but still not enough for my liking. The pillow cases were unmatched and faded to a dirty cream. My mishmash of sheets wore tiny pen stains.

The papers in my bureau drawers spoke of delayed decisions; the jewellery box on my dresser would often catch my attention but it remained full of untouched sparkly things from another life.

~

For the last two years I’d been decluttering my home but one day it hit me – “Airbnb it”. I’m away a lot, and plan to be more so next year, it made sense.

I spent a glorious weekend decluttering and scrubbing with a fury. I stuffed my bike paniers with clothes, old sheets, crockery and headed to Barnardo’s Charity Shop so often that I’ve become a known face. With each load I felt lighter.

I contracted a Decorator who fixed the ceiling wall paper and freshened the paint. I’ve 4 equally puffy pillows, fresh pen ink free bedding and a duvet that feels like a velvet hug. My surfaces are nearly clear.

Sometimes I think I need to go away to feel different. Or live somewhere else. But in reality, I can feel different in this wonderful home, that’s already here. I just had to show it some love and care and not leave my my own crap all over the place.

~

Of course most of you reading this won’t be rushing out to Airbnb your home! But my what’s true in my house story is true at a deeper level in life.

If we can show love and care to ourselves and others and not leave our mental crap all over the place, we are probably already close to our hearts desire. Our heart’s desire may already be in our backyard!

I’ve often felt my heart’s desire would be met in another. And I still hope and expect to fall in love at least once more in my life! But I’m learning not to attach to this in a graspy way. I’m letting go of mental crap that tells me I ‘should’ be a in relationship or that happiness is to be found there.

I’ve also felt that my heart’s desire would be met in finding the right career or vocation and as a result I’ve re-invented my career about 5 times. I love what I do, and I also accept that my career will never be perfect.

For me at this moment my heart’s desire is very simple:

– to be outdoors in beauty as much as I can,

– to listen, be kind and help others through my Life Coaching work,

– to connect to those I love & to those I might

– to learn and grow everyday

– to create

This might sound overly simple or a bit cheesy but isn’t intimacy and kindness all most of us crave?

If you simplify your life what does your heart’s desire look like?

Is it possible that most of what you desire is already here?

Is it possible that you don’t need to travel far, or have that new experience or thing?

Maybe we need less experiences and stuff, so we can enjoy the treasure in our own back yard.

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