a digital codex of contemporary pan-american writing

Todavía

by Chip Livingston

–for Lauren

there you are
still
in the shape
of your life
barefoot
by the sea,
deep-breathed,
straight-backed,
and turning
toward
the photographer.
fire,
earth, water,
and the air
a wind blowing
your black
babydoll
shift full, as if
you are …
dare we even
go there?
… pregnant.
and really
pregnant.
but you are
forty-three
and a workoutaholic
in perfect shape
for this tour
of Uruguay,
though it was
easy to imagine
you bellied,
breasted,
ripe with twins.
a premonition
in the photograph
snapped
from the lighthouse,
my ex-boyfriend’s
brother crouched
in the outcrop
with a real camera,
capturing this
North American
beauty
he’s been lured
into touring
around
his small country.
Cabo Polonio
is unlike anywhere
we’ve ever been:
sea lions, right
whales, owls
peeking up
from the
sand dunes.
Seals, surfers,
and – right now
– romance:
all the elements
in the photo
we upload
back at our hotel.
We laugh
at the notion:
you and Federico,
a disconnection
explained
through this
connection
connected,
balancing
the trunk
of a new family
tree, and yet,
you don’t speak
the same language.
Todavía, we can
see everything
in the once-
in-a-lifetime
moment
and our laughter
turns to tears
because somehow
we know
you’ll stay
in Uruguay
five years
before you
tie the knot,
having waited
for the twins
to stand
with you
at the altar:
internationally
legit,
wedlocked,
and ready
to shoot
straight
up like the north
star
to your own
cape,
complete
as completion,
more mother
than motherhood.
stepping back
into the sea
still barefoot,
and breathing
into the stretch
of your divinity.