Google Bomb Blowout (1)

As promised, it's going to be fun watching the Windows fanboys try to wiggle themselves out from under the 'Google Bomb' - the news that Google are abandoning Windows internally. Those Windows fanboys are already coming out of the woodwork.

First up is cyber hit man Rob Enderle. Enderle's picked up consultant fees in the six digit range from Redmond in the past; so has his wife Mary. Check this site for a selection of articles (and satires) on his 'professional' work.

Enderle has no IT credentials whatsoever. He's 'marketing' pure and simple. But he likes to be referred to as a 'technical consultant' (which he's not). He makes a living speculating about market trends to convince Redmond shops they're better off where they are (even though they're not).

His wife Mary was once tasked with disparaging Apple's iPod and iPhone; Rob himself picked up a big check for going around and talking bad about Linus Torvalds and open source.

Today Rob Enderle is hard put. Apple passed Microsoft by in market cap and now Google have effectively put a nail in the Redmond coffin by abandoning Windows and Microsoft products altogether. Enderle's response? Basically that it's those gay Martians again, undermining the interests of Microsoft. And Apple have of course nothing to do with their own success.

You can always tell when those professional bullshitters get flustered: their articles get inordinately long (and confused).

The real reason Microsoft are tanking is Robbie Bach, former head of Microsoft's entertainment and hardware division. Enderle calls Bach a 'fifth column'. Bach singlehandedly set the mighty Gates empire crumbling.

But do at least read the comments on the article - they're the chuckles you've yearned for.

Second up is Frank Shaw. Frank's on Twitter. Frank works for Microsoft. Frank's had a hard day too.

And then perhaps the best of them all, the 'this-is-not-happening' post.

In my day job, I'm a corporate vice president at Microsoft on the corporate communications team. Previously, i [sic] worked at Waggener Edstrom, where I lead [sic] the team focused on providing support to Microsoft.

Waggener Edstrom are of course Microsoft's PR company. They're the ones who came out with that 'Windows switcher' campaign where they were supposed to locate just one former Mac user who'd gone back to Windows - and failed. So they made the whole thing up, wrote their ad copy on a Mac, and used Photoshop for the Mac to doctor a single photo taken from Bill Gates' own archives.

Frank Shaw has no IT credentials whatsoever.

'I work for the Googles. Don't you dare claim the Windows was my idea.'