In what we wish were an oversight by NFLSHOP.com, you can purchase a Philadelphia Eagles jersey for your dog…customized with Michael Vick‘s name and number. The New York Daily News ordered one yesterday, and the NFL has no intention to block customers from buying canine jerseys with VIck’s name. Should they?

A mouse snuck into an ATM at a gas station in eastern Oregon and made what had to have been an adorable little home out of sixteen $20 bills. Nobody knows how Scrooge McMouse got into the ATM, but after giving the station attendant a good scare, he was fished out of his money pit and set free.

We’ve written about pet store chain Petland before, due to their documented use of puppy mills and snarky response to groups that protested said use of puppy mills. Now PETA claims to have found photos on a Petland employee’s Facebook page that show her grinning while holding up the wet, lifeless bodies of two rabbits she had just drowned.

When you rent a storage unit, you do so with the assumption that the company in charge won’t let a family of raccoons move in and destroy or urinate on all of your belongings. The La Gambina family of Illinois thought so, at least, but they were quite wrong.

When you wrap yourself in a Snuggie on a cold evening, does your dog stare up at you with sad, wistful eyes? Even when you’re not holding a bowl of popcorn? It’s time for you to acknowledge that your dog is jealous of your Snuggie.

A swarm of bees gathered yesterday outside the GameStop in Union Square, possibly to demand a higher trade-in value for their games. Store employees were trapped inside for hours and eventually hung a sign reading: “Look! … closed due to bee infestation.”

Bankers have an bad rap these days, don’t they? Joel Armstrong of Spokane, Washington was nice enough to initiate an intensive bailout of his neighbors, who could no longer stay in their home. His neighbors: a family of ducks.

As I helped my friend drag three suitcases and two cat carriers across the airport at 5 AM for a cross-country flight, I thought to myself, “there has got to be a better way to transport cats than this.” Especially when I imagined her cats, or any of my own pets, spending most of the day in cargo. My dog can barely handle a fifteen-minute car ride.

A Target in Pikesville, Maryland “has been closed until further notice because of a rodent problem,” reports WBAL Baltimore. Target officials wouldn’t tell customers why they were closed—our tipster aishel says they told him it was for maintenance, and a person interviewed by WBAL says she was told it was a “water main problem.” Target’s corporate office, however, confirmed there’s a big mouse problem. Update:The store has reopened.

“No injuries were reported when a passenger jet hit a deer Wednesday evening while taxiing at Charlotte/Douglas International Airport,” reported the Charlotte Observer. An airport official told the paper that it was a “freak accident.”

Kari sent us this photo she took last night in Oak Creek, Wisconsin. We’ll give them points for finding a unique promotional angle, but we wonder if they saw sales increase or drop off? Update: is it legal to give away animals as a store promotion?

A Japanese sake house near Tokyo has stolen one of my ideas and employed monkeys as waiters—one brings hot towels to customers when they sit down, and another takes orders and delivers bottles of sake. They’re tipped in edamame, which U.S. waitstaff should seriously consider since you don’t have to report it, and since the dollar will soon be worth about the same anyway. Our favorite quote from the article: “‘The monkeys are actually better waiters than some really bad human ones,’ customer Takayoshi Soeno said.” Hold on to your hats, there’s video footage below!

Customs seizes 4,300 items each day from unsuspecting travelers, so read up on their regulations before jaunting off on vacation or they’ll seize your tasty goat when you return. Customs regulations aren’t as arbitrary as they seem, but they can’t be deciphered by common sense alone.