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Sunday, May 11, 2014

I am a Catholic, Pt 2: Nothing made sense, and all the rest

Aside from all the sex, there was one teensy argument that I could never wiggle around. Authority. See, as a Protestant I believed that God gave us the Bible and that's all we had to know Him and to know how to live a life of faith. But a few things didn't make sense once I started exploring. And I think God gave us brains for a reason. And I think faith should make sense.

Assuming I'm thinking like a Protestant, let's look at the timeline- Jesus comes and he imparts on his apostles a divine authority (including the power to forgive sins, remember that lil bit of heresy? Jkjk!). He then ascends and the apostles are left to sort it out and missionize the world. And I started to wonder, if He knew that all the church would have, ever, was Scripture, why didn't they all sit down and write? In fact, only 3 or 4 out of the original 12 wrote something that ended up in the Canon of Scripture. Did you know that? Why didn't they write down every thing Christ said? Why did St. Paul say things like "there is more I want to say, but I'll wait until I see you in person." (???!) Why didn't they let other small-time guys plant the churches? Why weren't they pouring out countless hours getting every detail just right?? The truth is, they didn't. In fact, the epistles aren't even written for anyone other than the people they were directed to (Corinth, Ephesus, Rome, etc.) it just so happened they were God breathed and all and so they still matter. It's pretty obvious the emphasis then wasn't on Scripture, which is especially not a Protestant way of thinking. As a non-Catholic, the way early Christianity went down started to not make sense to me. And I think faith should make sense.

And so, the apostles die and all apostolic succession dies with them. Right? And then, for over 500 years, the Christian faithful have... nothing? A few letters in circulation? But no authoritative figure, no leadership. But wait! They did have something. History and all the Catholics tell us they had popes, and bishops, and priests and even the mass. And until a council of Catholic bishops discerned which books and letters belonged in the canon, they didn't even have a Bible. Even then, there was no printing press or Gideon's sticking Bibles in hotel drawers. I mean, we all know this stuff. It comes together quickly when you just start thinking. There was no ability for the Bible to even exist in the hands of the people for a thousand more years. And the more I thought, the more I realized if this was the way God had wanted his Church to grow and to know Him, it really, really didn't make sense. And neither did He.

And so I questioned and I wrestled with this concept. Who is God? A loving Father? If I assumed the Catholic position, I could see that loving Father. I could see that the presence of bishops and priests who had the authority of the apostles, teaching and growing communities of believers by way of sacred tradition and the mass and the sacraments, keeping the Body unified in one common faith... I could see how that would fit who I knew God to be. But if there wasn't all that. If there were only men teaching with zero authority from above, with far away letters and gospels that most would never, ever see with their own eyes. Waiting and waiting and waiting on the true authoritative presence of the written word to descend on the faithful to teach them and to connect them to Christ. If that were true, what then did that say of God? Loving Father? Good Shepherd? Abandoner?

I finally was hit with the ultimate straw breaks back idea. In those beautiful, holy books, there is no list. Right? There is no list that says: "Here is a list of all the books that should be here if you want to trust this is the real thing. Love, the Paraclete." I mean, there were countless other letters in circulation at the time. If only Scripture is inspired by God, if there is no authority outside of it, then where in it do we learn that what's there is what should be there? How do we know?

And then I learned this pesky little historical fact. The Catholic Church gave me my Bible. Councils of Catholic bishops met, prayed, deliberated, and were lead by the Holy Spirit to discern and affirm which books truly belonged in the New Testament Canon of Scripture, in the 4th and 5th centuries. That's just regular old history. There was no list. No manual. They decided. The Catholic Church by way of a divine authority imparted by God were able to discern which books belonged and which ones didn't. They finalized the Biblical Canon, they had the authority necessary to do it, and Protestant faithful has to trust them on this. I realized then that my entire faith was hanging by a thread held by the Catholic Church. They gave me the only thing I knew to be authoritative and true, the only way to Jesus. I had to go through Rome no matter what.

I had three options: I either must reject the Bible as possible heresy or remain a Protestant, accept that these councils actually happened (theydid) and, therefore, simultaneously, put zero faith in Catholicism and also trust them for everything or become a Catholic.

With this new problem understanding, the basic timeline suddenly looked to me like this: Jesus lives, dies, rises and Christianity begins, Jesus ascends, the apostles work with the authority of Christ himself, but then they die. And then the guys who were directly in line after them all became Catholic (which, heresy. Some how they all managed to become heretics within two degrees of separation from Jesus himself). And this heretical church managed to be the CHURCH until Martin Luther came along and shook things up 1500 years later. They also managed to successfully and faithfully compile the true Canon of Scripture, in which my entire faith in founded.

And even still, there I was, in Simi Valley, CA, in a church that looked nothing like the church that Martin Luther himself founded. If he got it right shouldn't my faith at least look like his?? We didn't baptize infants, we didn't believe the body and blood of Jesus was literally present in communion elements. If fact, we didn't even think that theology was right. So, if I was right- did that mean that no one had gotten it right until now? 2000 years after Christ's ascension? Did Rick Warren finally get it right? Rob Bell? Mark Driscoll?

It didn't make sense.

This wasnt the God I knew. The loving, tender Father who wants us to know Him. This was complicated and confusing. How could anyone get to Him if this is how the Church was supposed to work? How could it work at all?

And beyond all that, since the reformation, when Protestant theologians rejected the Church as authoritative; since the Bible alone became the only authority for the faithful, establishing theology and belief and practice.... Christianity has been splintering and fracturing faster than time is ticking. The reformers themselves couldn't agree. Does this speak to you of who you imagine God to be? Is it working?

I say no. I say there is more. That we need more. We need the Bride, we need what the apostles gave us, and that they are still giving us by means of apostolic succession. See, as a Catholic, I believe that that special power Jesus gave the apostles did not die with them. It was handed down. It was handed down to keep the Church one. Jesus wanted that. Do you remember?

"That they may all be one, as Thou, Father, in me, and I in Thee; that they also may be one in us, that the world may believe that Thou hast sent me." John 17:21

And to preserve that unity He gave his Church a leader. Remember the authority Jesus gave to St. Peter? You know the keys to the kingdom of God and all, we believe that got handed down, too. Exactly 265 times.

I looked back at the Early Church and everything I saw was Catholic. Maybe this idea is something you've never heard of before. I hadn't either. Here are a few quotes that are pretty incredible and/or shocking depending on what side of the fence you find yourself on in this moment.

On authority:

"You must follow the bishop as Jesus Christ follows the Father, and the presbytery as you would the Apostles. Reverence the deacons as you would the command of God. Let know one do anything of concern to the Church without the bishop. Let that be considered a valid Eucharist which is celebrated by the Bishop, or by whom he appoints. Wherever the Bishop appears, let the people be there, just as wherever Christ is, there is the Catholic Church." St Ignatius of Antioch, Letter to the Smyrnaeans AD 107

"The Church, having received this preaching and this faith, although she is disseminated throughout the whole world, yet guarded it, as if she occupied but one house. She likewise believes these things just as if she had but one soul and one and the same heart and harmoniously she proclaims them and teaches them and hands them down, as if she possessed but one mouth. For, while the languages of the world are diverse, nevertheless, the authority of the Tradition is one and the same." St Irenaeus, Against Heresies AD 190

On Baptismal rejeneration and the Eucharist:

"We called this food Eucharist; and no one else is permitted to partake of it, except one who believes our teachings to be true and who has been washed in the washing which is for the remission of sins and for rejeneration, and is thereby living as Christ has enjoined. For not as common bread and common drink do we receive these; but since Jesus Christ our Savior was made incarnate by the word of God and had both flesh and blood for our salvation, so too, as we have been taught, the food which has been made into the Eucharist by the Eucharistic prayer set down by Him, and by the change of which our blood and flesh is nurtured, is both the flesh and the blood of that incarnated Jesus." St Justin Martyr, a First Apology AD 151

On apostolic succession, tradition, and the one, true Church:

"If it is possible, then, for every Church, who may wish to know the truth, the contemplate the tradition of the apostles which has been made known throughout the whole world. And we are in a position to enumerate those who were instituted a bishops by the Apostles, and their successors to our own times... But since it would be too long to enumerate in such a volume as this the successions of all the Churches, we shall confound all those who, in whatever manner, through self-satisfaction or vainglory, or through blindness and wicked opinion, assemble other than where it is proper, by pointing out here the successions of the bishops of the greatest and most ancient Church known to all, founded and organized at Rome by the two most glorious apostles, Peter and Paul, that Church which has the tradition and the faith which comes down to us after having been announced to men by the Apostles. For with this Church, because of its superior origin, all Churches must agree, that is, all the faithful in the whole world; and it is in her that the faithful everywhere have maintained the Apostolic tradition." St Irenaeus, Against Heresies AD 190

On the Papacy and unity:

"The Lord says to Peter: 'I say to you,' He says, 'that you are Peter and upon this rock I will build my Church'... Upon him He builds the Church, and to him He gives the command to feed the sheep; and although He assigns a like power to all the apostles, yet He founded a single chair, and He established by His own authority a source and an intrinsic reason for that unity. Indeed, the others were that also which Peter was; but a primacy is given to Peter, whereby it is made clear that there is one Church and one chair. So, too, all are shepherds, and the flock is shown to be one, fed by all the apostles in single-minded accord. If someone does not hold fast to this unity of Peter, can he imagine that he still holds the faith? If he desert the chair of Peter, upon whom the Church is built, can he still be confident that he is in the Church?" St Cyprian of Carthage, The Unity of the Catholic Church, AD 251

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Hi. Are you still with me? Oh, good.

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I wasn't a hard sell. Once I was convicted that the Catholic Church was actually the church that Jesus established on earth, I could accept it all. Mary, the saints, the pope... All of it. Just in the way I accepted the authority of the Bible even when I didn't totally understand all of it because it was God's Word. I began to trust tradition and papal authority the same way, as God's Word. And just like that, I was in. Baptizing my babies an alla dat.

Did you read this whole thing? I bet you have more questions. If you live nearby, come over and let's talk in person over some food and wine (or strawberitas). If you live far away, I'm happy to answer you as much as I can (with actually life happening and husband and kids and all.)

Hehe sorry deleted away cause Im here to learn from you, this isn't my post on why I'm a Christian;) so thanks for the post:) it's also pretty fantastic that the discussion is on how best to be obedient to the word of God and follow in the footsteps of Jesus, in that desire I am with you:)

Wow! Your post about proper authority speaks directly to the reason I have a testimony in the gospel of my church. Search authority at www.lds.org or chat with someone on www.mormon.org and your mind will be blown! Hope it touches your heart. Love, a loyal reader

I had a very similar conversion experience. I was raised a Lutheran, but majored in History at college. Once you start reading early Church history, the actual documents instead of a Protestant reinterpretation, it's very hard to see the early Church as anything but Catholic. If these saints and martyrs, some of whom met Christ's apostles, believed in the authority and unity of the Catholic church, who was I to think I could live an isolationist faith that reinterpreted the words of Christ, which that very Church I rejected gave me, according to my own emotions and limited experience?

So when I began examining the doctrines of that Church which Christ found them with an open rather than defensive mindset, I found that all of them, from the Blessed Mother to confession to the pope were in line with reason, faith, and beauty.

It helped that I also majored in English, so I had Catholic fiction to show me just how beautiful those ideas were and Catholic friends to show me how they were lived out.

I came home to the Church 4 years ago. It has been wonderful reading about your conversion and your defense of the Faith. Thanks Blythe!

When I was in graduate school, a close friend of mine basically brought me back to Christianity through a no-holds-barred, honest Bible study where I asked a MILLION questions. One of my biggest problems was the fact that there were so many denominations despite it being pretty clear that it was not what Jesus wanted for the Church. My friend was honest that she didn't have an answer for that question, and it bothered her, too. In the years since then I've been trying to figure out what "church" was right for me, but it has continued to bother me a LOT that there are so many different versions of Christianity. It's a little too much like picking out toothpaste; why does everything have to be about what fits ME best and makes ME feel good? Is that the point of religion? I don't know HOW I came to be curious about Catholicism over the last few months, but I did and I've been sort of going back and forth about the idea of attending a Catholic church and then RCIA and then conversion. It's just SO MUCH to do alone, and while my husband is supportive and willing to go through it with me he is simply not religious. But this post totally blew my mind and made TOTAL SENSE to me! I needed to read it.

Beautiful! You are so knowledgable and articulate. Originally I found your blog after watching your interview on Soul Pancake. Thank you for your amazing testimony to the faith and willingness to share it's truth with others. God Bless!!

Hi, I found your blog through a link from Haley of Carrots For Michaelmas. I have been a (Protestant) Christian my entire life, and I am finding this post and part one absolutely fascinating. I actually left your blog main page open on my tablet browser all weekend so I would make sure not to miss this post! I will make sure to check out your resource links as well, thank you for writing such an informative, well thought out, non-judgmental post!

Hi, I found your blog through a link from Haley of Carrots For Michaelmas. I have been a (Protestant) Christian my entire life, and I am finding this post and part one absolutely fascinating. I actually left your blog main page open on my tablet browser all weekend so I would make sure not to miss this post! I will make sure to check out your resource links as well, thank you for writing such an informative, well thought out, non-judgmental post!

Hi, I found your blog through a link from Haley of Carrots For Michaelmas. I have been a (Protestant) Christian my entire life, and I am finding this post and part one absolutely fascinating. I actually left your blog main page open on my tablet browser all weekend so I would make sure not to miss this post! I will make sure to check out your resource links as well, thank you for writing such an informative, well thought out, non-judgmental post!

Hi Blythe, great post!! As I was reading it, I was thinking to myself, "She should read Hahn's Rome Sweet Home," then I got to the end of your post and I saw you referenced some of Scott Hahn's books. Did you read Rome Sweet Home? Your journey mimics his very closely, in the questioning of Sola Scriptura. Rome Sweet Home is a riveting read -- I read it in one weekend. I'm a "cradle" Catholic, but there is still so much I need to learn about my faith and I learned so much from Rome Sweet Home. Keep writing, I enjoy your posts!

Hi Blythe - Just wanted to tell you how much I am enjoying this series. You have a gift for setting things out clearly in an intriguing way that doesn't (well, shouldn't) raise hackles for those who hold differing beliefs - this is like a more detailed version of the video you did - which I also enjoyed a lot and passed on to my husband who works at a college Newman center. You never know when you are planting a seed in someone's mind/heart. I too am a convert (from Lutheran church) and the big ah-ha moment for me was the Eucharist, and the sort of stuff that you write about in this post is probably what sealed it for me. I went to a Catholic college and we had to take a few theology classes that involved reading the Bible and the Church fathers. Anyway, thanks. Have you ever thought about being involved in college ministry, liek at a Newman center? I bet you would be good at it.

I was raised Catholic and converted to Protestantism in college, but now the issue of authority is killing me. I am not sure of the real Catholic doctrines for many things (I'm reading though!) but I'm so. tired. of trying to figure out The Truth myself. Why am I in charge? I have very little spiritual learning. Anyhow, thanks for this.

The question of authority is EXACTLY what sealed my decision to join the Church (after twenty-plus years as an evangelical Christian, who was becoming quite sick of all the debates about every. little. jot. and. tittle. of doctrine). I remember so vividly being shocked by the idea that the Catholic Church did not, in fact, emerge out of the Dark Ages but that it was the original Church all along! And when I decided to actually read the writings of the early church fathers (fully expecting to confirm my Protestant ideas about Communion being only symbolic, etc), I was HORRIFIED to discover that the very New Testament church I had always respected as the closest community of believers to the historic Jesus was ... Catholic. True Presence of the Body and Blood, confessions, and all. I second the recommendation for Scott Hahn's books as I initially found it very confusing that Catholics and Protestants frequently use the same terminology with different connotations, and he does a wonderful job of bridging the cultural gap!

I'm not one to start fighting. But just a pointer, there was always the letters that were copied and passed along to churches and constantly in circulation. There was always scripture. That's how they knew who The character of God, His standards, and nature, etc. was. The reason they put the books together was to prevent heresy letters being passed around. The Church, not Catholic Church, decided to set in stone what was already known.

By "the Church," I mean that the Roman Catholic Church that was around then is not the same one we think of today. The Catholic Church, while it did exist and was used to weed out heresy and set in stone the books of the Bible, is not the same church as we think of today. Popes, praying to Mary- mother of Jesus, sacraments, necessity of confession to a church official, the belief in purgatory (so Jesus's death on the cross wasn't sufficient in and of itself to save us? You said, yourself, that religion must make sense... so how does it make sense that The God of all the Universe's plan for salvation isn't enough?), and Papal infallibility, to name a few, have been developments throughout the years. They were never part of the original Roman Catholic Church that you speak of. Jesus even warned the Pharisees about their traditions in Mark 7. They didn't bring them closer to God, but separated man from God.

I'm in agreeance, something is very wrong with the protestant church. I find it hard to find one that doesn't make me cringe in one way or another; but all my research says the Catholic Church isn't the solution either. Revelations also screams that God isn't pleased with every church. We need to be in the Word of God, repenting of what God finds offensive in these churches, turning from those ways; finding ourselves in Him, the one who saves our soles.

I will post reference to everything I have said, sometime tonight. I have a 1 year old and a house to clean but would love a thorough discussion with you. :)

I grew up Catholic. Here's how I understood it, (as told to a child by the religious who taught me): Jesus died, the Apostles led by Peter established "the CHURCH" and Peter was the first "Pope." After that, all the different Christians around in different cities, when they had a question or problem, would refer back to Peter (and after him, the faithful bishops who became the next Pope, who knew what he taught, and the guy before them taught) and down to our own time; and each one in succession dealt with questions that arose, referred back to the original teachings, and defined teachings when a question arose. But there were at times, bad Popes who politicized the Church, and brought scandal, and men as bishops and priests who were not sincere and lived outside of the teachings of the Church, and in dismay, Martin Luther (a priest himself) tried to put forth corrections to what he saw they were doing was wrong. And he caused a schism, one he never could control, because then it caused heresy (the King of England refusing the authority of the Church to suit himself, as one example).And so I always understood, as much as Protestants were sincere and wanted to follow Christ, they were protesting - following a protest- against the Catholic Church, which is the one true Church. It's really all in the history books, and the mistake was make by Luther, who himself should have seen it was not his place to take such a stand. It seemed to be arrogance, and anger on his part. He had a point, but he was duped by his own hubris. I hope everyone who wants to sincerely follow Christ will eventually see they are not in disagreement with the doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church, but their predecessors, who had historically embedded theological disagreements that are not as relevant today, moved away from the Church, and those who followed them now follow something they do not necessarily understand.Yet, with all this crippledness of the humans who must carry on the word of God, God still brings about holiness in the brokenness of our lives.May we all be one in Christ.God Bless.

Oh Blythe...this is a little off topic, but I just had an "aha" moment when I saw you link to your dads apologetic talks...but did he get sick a few months ago? I remember listening to Patrick Madrids show a while back (I want to say it was a really bad case of the flu?) and he asked every one to pray for his friend "Ken Hensley"...Patrick Madrid sounded so sad that his good friend was sick and I remember praying so much for him all week! Then I remember a couple weeks later, he updated us that he was doing better (I pray this is still the case too).

Ps-great post! I came across your blog via Haley's blog a few weeks ago and have been meaning to leave you a comment about your Soul Pancake video (which was awesome!)...my friends and I (we're up here in northern california) were geeking out over it because it was so good and we have a great Catholic community that seems similar to yours up here too. So by the way, if you ever find yourself around the Sacramento area, let us know!!

You missed something in your search for truth. The gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, were NOT written by any of those people. They were first written down 40-90 years (estimates vary) AFTER Jesus' death.

Wow. This is wonderful! I'm a brand new convert baby Catholic (Easter Vigil 2014) and it was through learning many of these things that I knew the Catholic Church was right for me, though earlier in my life I would have NEVER expected to end up here. You wrote this so beautifully. Thank you!!

Thanks for posting this. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon). I never realized how similar the Catholic and LDS churches are. We also believe in proper authority. We believe that Christ gave his authority to his apostles, but sometime during the dark ages the authority was lost, so Peter, James and John came to Joseph Smith to restore it. That authority has been passed down to our current prophet, Thomas S. Monson. You can learn more at mormon.org.

Anyways I admire you for posting this and for knowing so much about your religion. The world needs more religious people.

Blythe, I am loving these posts. I'm a staunch Lutheran, former religion major- and shocker- lover of the Catholic faith. Visiting the Vatican on my honeymoon was one of the single most incredible experiences of my life. I have some of the same issues with Protestantism that you address- I can't imagine being in another denomination. I believe that a congregation should have oversight (for us, through our bishops and synods), I baptized my 4 month old daughter, I believe that communion is Christ (and should occur every Sunday). I don't think Luther set out to be a heretic or the namesake of a church hundreds of years later. There are still some parts of Catholicism I cannot reconcile with, but I thoroughly enjoy reading your passion for your faith and your intense love for your Church. Thank you so much for writing.

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