Rubbing down Mimi

How long do your massages last for? Or...how long can you afford for them to last? Typically, in my experience, I’ve found that massages at a proper rehabilitation clinic are a lot less expensive than the ones you get at the spa. But if the therapist is making a house call?

You know, $1500 sounds about right. Especially since, in Mimi’s case, the private massage lasted 8 hours! This is not a euphemism for anything. It was, seriously, just a really long massage. Like how could 2 hours be enough for her?

Us Weekly reports that Mimi was so stressed from throwing down with Nicki Minaj on American Idol that a massage therapist was summoned to her home in LA to work out all the stress in her body. Because she not only birthed those twins, she has to pay the nannies to look after them and sometimes billionaires pay her millions to sing 3 songs for them and send a private jet to take her around the world to their parties and all of the being gently carried around, it is exhausting.

Speaking of exhausting, can you imagine what that person’s hands must have looked like after 8 hours of straight kneading into the Mimi’s body? Or do you think Mimi’s the type to want a lighter pressure? Like, does a massage for Mimi simply involve someone running feathers and silk scarves up and down the length of her body for an entire day while Bruno plays in the background?

According to US, while she was being treated, Mimi insisted on having Sacha Baron Cohen’s movie on repeat. I love that she loves that movie. I love that she either admires the absurdity or...um... is modelling herself after it.