Would you Adam and Eve It? (Post natal depression)

As a man it is difficult to appreciate that feeling of having something growing inside of you, to share everything with it, to have its heart beating rhythmically along with your own. The closest that a man will get to that point is in the physical and emotional act of sex, where for a time two bodies become one in the production of that very child. That God awful ‘Twins” sequel, which saw Arnold Schwarzenegger carrying a baby in his stomach for nine months called ‘Junior” and watching it, is the closest I’ve ever personally come to this phenomenon that makes The World of humanity’s reason for being revolve.

Given that Arnie isn’t in fact the best actor this World has ever produced, that really leaves me no further on the road to understanding now, does it? True too that whilst I have witnessed post natal depression in my own mum after my youngest sibling was born, and have read about the, ‘baby blues’ I am not an authority on the subject.

That said I have a theory on the subject that I’d like to broach. I tend to look at things from a holistic approach on this one, where once there were two as one, now there are two as separate entities and identities. The body and mind must deal with the loss of what was once a part of it. Evidence shows breastfeeding can maintain the physical bond and deter the withdrawal symptoms from coming about. But post natal depression is not as simple as that, the actual act of giving birth is one of intense physical pain, it can be a torturous experience that will long stay in the mind of the mother so long as the epidural isn’t overwhelming.

In this period of labour there is a cut off point and a period that can be reflected upon as part of the journey of bringing this child into the world. It is a painful period that separates two physicality’s, one physicality is with child, and the other is without. The thing about the experience of the birth is that it is like a settling in period.

Imagine that you are moving between two countries by two different means. By one means you are going by bus and the other by airplane. One is quick, one is slow. Had you been living in the country you are leaving for quite some time, then the living there and the movement on to another place needs a journey of sorts, some way for the mind to play catch-up to the fact that a new reality, in a new living location is on the way. The plane can often be too quick a journey, a painless journey that does not allow adequate ‘pain’ for the conditioning of the self to its new reality.

Looking at post natal depression and the research that has been composed into: The why, the how etc. Research along this area of thought has never been published. Don’t assume from that fact that it is research that would be pointless, I think I’m onto something here.

Instances of post natal depression have become increasingly evident in recent years as the drugs get better and better and Mums are opting for the ‘painless’ approach to childbirth with the good old caesarean section. I think that there may be a correlation between this new modern twist on the painless birth, and the lack of time for the mother to get used to the idea of being without the child in her inners. Mums are by and large away with the pixies these days for the act of birth itself. Now I hear you, you are thinking this is a male what would he know?

He seems to be advocating that women should experience pain, and perhaps you are reading this and thinking that I am some kind of sadomasochist who sees beauty in pain. Well in a way I see beauty in the natural pain of childbirth and along with my holistic approach to thinking I have a holistic approach, and a belief that nature designs the processes this way for a reason.

It is a throwback to the Garden of Eden when Eve was munching down on her Granny Smith and led poor old Adam astray that God declared that as a result woman would experience pain in childbirth. That is just plain biblical, and whilst I’m not a believer in the text lets assume that there is even a small tint of truth in it. It was eating the apple that brought about clarity of self awareness ‘they realised they were naked’ with self awareness came pain, it is a residual effect of being human really. I’ve seen and played a hand in scores of cows giving birth and their pain is quite minimal in comparison to human pain in birth.

Being self aware and being alert to pain was not just a punishment, well God seemed to have a personality transplant by the time those men wrote the other books of the bible, right? It wasn’t about punishment, but about necessity in dealing with the awareness and the emotions that rise out of being a new mum. That period of pain is a journey, one that links the past (carrying the baby in the womb) with the future point (carrying the baby in your hands.)

Take out the pain and there is a missing link in the chain of events that either nature or God made a point of putting there in the first place, with the reason of avoiding post natal depression at its core.