NZ bank robber stashes loot where the sun don't shine

'Bottom area' rustling gives game away

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A NZ bank robber who stashed the NZ$2,000 proceeds of a heist up his tradesman's entrance was fingered by "rustling sounds" from his "bottom area", the Southland Times reports.

Michael Geoffrey Linn, 36, unemployed, yesterday admitted in the Alexandra District Court to robbing the Cromwell branch of the Bank of New Zealand on 3 April. Police prosecutor sergeant Tom Scoullar told the court Linn had "pressed the buzzer to gain entry to the bank and pulled a green hand-knitted balaclava over his face".

Once a staff member had filled a bag with the available cash, Linn apologised, saying: "I'm sorry miss, I didn't mean to frighten you but I'm very, very desperate."

The perp then "drove to the lakefront, removed his clothes and set them alight using petrol and paper from his car", Scoullar explained.

Members of the public quickly spotted the fire and alerted the authorities. Before the fire brigade arrived, builders working nearby were able to rescue the clothing and papers, "some of which had Linn's name and address on them".

Duly cuffed, Linn was whisked to Queenstown police station, where he claimed he'd given the loot to an accomplice. However, police "noticed some rustling sounds from Linn's bottom area and on closer inspection a roll of cash was found protruding from Linn's anus, the full amount of cash taken in the robbery".

The master blagger was remanded in custody for sentencing on 5 June. The recovered cash will be destroyed, the Southland Times notes. ®