the daily humorscopes for wednesday, september 7th

the daily humorscope

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You will be accosted today by several of those people who think only of themselves, and who believe that “sharing” is something that little kids have to do. Despite this, I recommend against turning them over your knee and spanking them — unless you think you can get away with it.

You will realize soon that you’ve missed your true calling in life — that of a New Vaudevillian, a theatrical marvel of the Age of Cable. Starting as “Professor Snibble and the Yodelling Pigs!”, you’ll rapidly achieve notoriety, and (much later, with a different act) respectability.

Today you will finally reach the breaking point, since that incessant pounding from your new neighbor’s place is driving you nuts! You will storm over there, but what you find will be very bad news indeed. Your new neighbor is the Energizer Bunny.