Day 11. The titer is increased

Today I received the test results of my 3rd urine test. Yesterday I already got an email that my test was pending and due for the next day. So today I got the results. My titer has increased to the previous value of 52.2. In August last year I had the same outcome and in December it was decreased to 51.4.

I have to say that I haven’t been as strict with my diet over the last period of time. I tasted little bits of foods that were not on my diet list and especially when visiting people I was even less strict with my diet. Everybody kept saying how good I looked and that made me go into euphoria of see, I am doing well.

Furthermore, I still have doubts about the use of the pancreatic enzymes. I did not use Dr. Kelley’s enzymes, since they could not be shipped to Europe at first and also the costs were quite high. I opted for a cheaper version that I ordered in Mexico of which I’m still not sure whether these enzymes are of inferior quality. It is not clear to me how much of the pancreatic enzymes I should take. Today I asked for assistance over Skype at the doctor Kelly selling point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be less accurate with my diet than I was in the beginning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that whenever I slack my diet and eat and drink things that are not beneficial for me will not affect my health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly allow more food back into my diet that is actually not permitted by the diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the positive comments of others who told me I was looking good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to end up in euphoria since many people complimented me on my appearance, which made me think my health will be fine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about what other people say about my appearance rather than placing, supporting my body with healthy food, on the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow my diet when visiting people and join them and the food that is served, as I do not want to in an exceptional position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to take in any exceptional position, because I want to be healthy like others and I do not want others to know that I have health problems, in the form of cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is difficult to explain to others that I am diagnosed with cancer by taking an urine test, which is not supported by regular health care or research.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that people will think I am stupid to put my trust in the Navarro test.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to what my mind tells me, instead of listening to my body and to keeping myself on a strict diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed that I have not strictly kept myself to my diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope for my titer to decrease, instead of really walking this physical process in reality of lowering my titer by taking all the necessary steps.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not following my diet strictly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about not fully following my diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sad and disappointed in myself, that I am not strong enough to follow my diet strictly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that my titer will not decrease anymore, despite my efforts to become healthy again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I messed up by not following my diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I have neglected my process by not writing out my thoughts, emotions and feelings and forgive and correct them, believing that this is the cause why my titer has increased again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt if I use the right enzymes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for my insufficient research on the functioning of pancreas enzymes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow through with the advices mentioned in the Kelley protocol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for not seeing/understanding/realizing how important it is to re-read the Kelley protocol to see if I am still on track with the protocol and not forgetting anything.

I realize that I have learned a lesson from today on, namely to strictly abide myself by the protocol, to re-read the protocol and re-read and to delve more into the use of pancreatic enzymes, since it is an important part of the protocol.

When and as I see myself deviating from my diet/protocol, I stop and breathe. I realize the consequences of deviating from the diet, which causes my titer to increase, and that can mean that more tumor growth is active within my body. And so, I commit myself when there is a tendency to eat/drink other things outside the protocol, to take a deep breath, drink a cup of tea or a glass of water and apply self-forgiveness for the desires of wanting to eat/drink the things that are forbidden by the protocol.

I realize how important it is to regularly examine my thoughts, feelings and emotions, to write, to forgive and to apply corrections.

When and as I see myself neglecting to blog/write, while there is a need, I stop and breathe. I realize that my emotional state is as important and perhaps even more important than my physical condition. And so, I commit myself to no longer postpone my blogging/writing and write more to avoid poisoning my body with feelings/emotions/thoughts.