Victoria Jackson Tries to Vote

The astonishingly stupid Victoria Jackson unwittingly provides support for longer early voting periods by telling the story of trying to vote. She was out of town at a Tea Party rally during the shortened early voting period and she didn’t request an absentee ballot in time, so she had to vote on election day and waited three hours in line. It’s really pretty funny to watch.

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

I’m alive, and I’m not Mickey Mouse

Check again.

Blueaussi

It’s too painful to watch. All that stupid plus that whiney voice, I just can’t stand listening to her.

Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

It’s too painful to watch. All that stupid plus that whiney voice, I just can’t stand listening to her.

That, plus chewing gum while making the video. Who does that?

busterggi

Okay, I made it 4 minutes & 19 seconds in before I had to quit.

VJ has turned into Grampa Simpson.

reneehendricks

Sheesh – she needs to talk without that big ol’ wad of gum in her mouth.

tsig

Those big, red lips constantly moving, moving, that whiny voice continually rasping on my ear and the ending of every sentence on an up-note, Aieeee.

http://florilegia.wordpress.com Ibis3, member of the Oppressed Sisterhood fanclub

I’ve got to give her respect for the effort she went through to vote when many people can’t be bothered to vote at all.

dingojack

You let Vickie vote? Wow, that shows what a liberal attitude America has in respect of letting those with severe mental handicaps vote.

Kudos to America!

Dingo

MikeMa

@Ibis3,

You are assuming this foolish woman actually stayed in line and voted. Her sense of entitlement might not allow her to put up with that kind of distress.

She still references Acorn as a real source of voter fraud. The dolt really doesn’t understand that the GOP was a far more direct source of fraud in 2012. She is such a moron. She keeps talking about having her mother commit voter fraud for her.

The best part is she lost some vacation time to not impact the election at all. Good deal.

http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

“… unwittingly provides support for longer early voting periods by telling the story of trying to vote.”

The woman sounds drunk. I think I would have to drink to be her–an actress whose career peaked in a movie alongside Weird Al Yankovic.

maxdwolf

The best part comes at the 14 minute mark where she starts talking about voting against the communists. She certainly brings the crazy.

matty1

Something is wrong with this woman, right? I mean not standard ‘holding shitty views’ wrong but actual ‘brain condition that makes dealing with the world harder’ wrong. I find this hard to watch and harder to laugh at.

krisrhodes

The part where she complains about ignorant people voting is pure comedy gold.

davem

Sheesh – she needs to talk without that big ol’ wad of gum in her mouth.

Bzzzzzt! Wrong! She needs just to STFU, with or without that gum.

This woman has a show? With actual viewers? Loved it when she hoped that smart people would vote. Seems that they did.

screechymonkey

Loved it when she hoped that smart people would vote. Seems that they did.

“We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.” — Rick Santorum

F

Bzzzzzt! Wrong! She needs just to STFU, with or without that gum.

I think you’re heading in the right direction here. More gum. Lots more gum.

stubby

Check out this pearl of wisdom from her website.

“I don’t vote R to protect my money. I have no money. And, I don’t have health insurance, I can’t afford it, but I’m still against Obamacare. Why? Because it’s about the good of the whole, not about me. Libs can’t get that. They pretend they care for the poor, but their policies have made the poor poorer. Socialism makes more people poor. Capitalism makes more people rich. It’s just an economical fact.”

No One

Seconal?

magistramarla

It made it fun to watch this knowing that everything that she sacrificed (vacation, sleep, sanity, etc.) was for nothing!

Everything that she stands for was rejected by the American people. Kudos to the American people!

juicyheart

I can’t make up my mind. Is Victoria Jackson one of the densist people on the planet, or the most brilliant political satirists/performance artists of our generation? I like to think the later, but I fear it’s the former. Either way she is entertaining as hell.

http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

I don’t vote R to protect my money. I have no money. And, I don’t have health insurance, I can’t afford it, but I’m still against Obamacare. Why? Because it’s about the good of the whole, not about me.

Unless she divorced this year, she’s married to a Miami-Dade police helicopter pilot who makes $120k/year. I imagine MDPD also provides generous health insurance coverage–government-paid, taxpayer-funded, health insurance with dental and vision coverage. And I imagine, there’s life insurance and a nice pension that results in an actuarial value of his income that far exceeds $120,000/yearly.

@drX. I was wondering if she was still maried to the cop. I recall many years ago she did a schtick on SNL Update about being in love with a cop. Dennis Miller was the host of Weekend Update then. What a pair!!!

I made it to 6:24 on the first viewing, will try again later. That voice is just too much.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

Dr X, she earned those things she doesn’t know she has. And, I assume, “…my husband’s union is one of the good ones. And it’s not a union. Now watch me do a handstand!”

http://www.facebook.com/oakborn6584 jennischmidt

I think she is trying to count, “1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1…” Poor thing can’t make it any farther…

http://www.facebook.com/msmith1 mattsmith

If I wasn’t already mostly deaf I would’ve stuck a knitting needle through my head. As it was I had to turn it off because she was making my hearing aid do the feeback squeal.

She makes me sad.

Hairy Chris, blah blah blah etc

So, at around 2:40, where she says that she doesn’t want to get up at 4 in the morning… Well, voting wasn’t that important, was it?

Idiot.

http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com Gretchen

Victoria Jackson and Julia Sweeney are the same age– 53. They were on SNL at the same time. But in terms of the direction they have taken as individuals past that point, it’s fascinating how they went in completely opposite directions. Victoria Jackson is like what you’d get if you took Julia Sweeney’s intellect and charm and…well, reversed it.

Sweeney said at one point that Jackson saw a performance of “Letting Go of God,” and said she (Jackson) should do something similar about her Christian faith. Never happened, to my knowledge…probably because LGoG is about an intellectual journey, and Jackson doesn’t know what that is.

Who Knows?

Still married to Paul Wessel, the helicopter pilot. I would assume that’s the Paul she references in the video a few times.

dingojack

“Socialism makes more people poor. Capitalism makes more people rich. It’s just an economical fact.”

Nice to hear that Vickie is being economical with the facts (as usual).

Dingo

skinnercitycyclist

Apropos of the glasses, worst Al Franken impersonation ever.

That baby-talk shtick gets annoying fast. Is this really what conservatives consider funny?

TGAP Dad

Is there video of her “exploding with despair,” leaving “pieces of her all over the wall,” over Obama’s re-election? I want to see THAT!

I’m amazed that this woman is even capable of human speech and upright stature.

osteenq

“I can’t make up my mind. Is Victoria Jackson one of the densist [sic] people on the planet, or the most brilliant political satirists/performance artists of our generation?”

No offense, but why do people keep repeating this crap? Is it that hard to believe that she’s just an idiot? How much benefit of the doubt does one person need?

She was NEVER that likable.

edmundog

She was never likeable, but she was a comedian, and it’s hard to fathom that someone could honestly be this perfect storm of dumb without doing it on purpose. It’s easier to see her like Larry the Cable Guy, who seems to be a pretty intelligent and cool guy, but hasn’t appeared in public as Dan Whitney in who knows how long. Of course, in his case, people can look at his charitable donations, writings, and subtle dropping of character to figure out that he’s not for real. In her case, no such evidence exists.

rabbitscribe

@#33 osteenq:

I make the odds at least one in five it’s an act. Sort of convenient she’s professionally typecast as the stereotypical none-too-bright naive victimized, well, blonde. Also, it seems like every couple of weeks, Ed posts some Jacksonism and comments, “Pare away all the fluff and Tea Party buzzwords and look at what she’s really saying.” Some time back, the core of the message was, “Even if I, personally, am both factually incorrect and mentally unbalanced, that would still be Obama’s fault because he’s so… Obama!” You have to admit it’s at least thinkable that that’s parody.

rabbitscribe

I just read #22 Dr X’s link. I take it back. She’s just who she’s always been. Fucked up Fundie family with a history of mental illness- sad, really.

Ichthyic

*watches vid*

wow. shades of Anna Nicole?

Ichthyic

she probably blames Obama for the money she spent on planefare to go back to florida to vote.

Isn’t it past time America start dealing seriously with the fact that around 30% of the country is fucking completely delusional?

I can’t think of a more important thing. Even more than “the economy”.

Ichthyic

“The thing that kills me, is that some people are ignorant enough to vote for the communists again.”

-V. Jackson, Nov. 7, 2012

http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com Gretchen

Dr. X,

At age 52, Victoria Jackson bears little resemblance to that lithe and sweetly dopey girl with the grating voice on Saturday Night Live. And you wouldn’t recognize her from those eight mostly forgettable ’80s and ’90s feature films such as I Love You to Death and No More Baths. These days, she cuts a more snowman-esque figure. Or as Howard Stern recently put it, she “looks like she ate Victoria Jackson.”

In other words, she aged. Like most of us.

What an asshole.

http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

To be clear Gretchen, I was only interested in the question of whether or not Jackson’s claim about not having health insurance was truthful. I found also found that particular passage offensive.

Michael Heath

Gretchen @ 40,

Dr. X did not write what you attribute to him @ 40. Instead an article which he linked to was the source.

http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com Gretchen

I didn’t attribute it to him, Michael; I directed it at him. For him to read. I’m not an idiot, nor would I ever called Dr. X an asshole.

It was a very interesting and useful– and disturbing– overview of Victoria Jackson and her family, but it certainly suffered from the author’s own judgmentalism, which added a touch of irony to his disdain for that of Jackson’s father.

Michael Heath

Gretchen writes:

I didn’t attribute it to him, Michael; I directed it at him. For him to read. I’m not an idiot, nor would I ever called Dr. X an asshole.

The style used in this forum* did have you quoting Dr. X writing something someone else wrote. I also suggest you read what I wrote more carefully; I never claimed, insinuated, or even raised your writing someone was an asshole was in reference to Dr. X.

*Citing another commenter’s name which is followed with a blockquote of what they supposedly wrote. I don’t prefer this style and always follow with “writes” to be clear, as I do in this comment post and all related others I post. However the fact is, when commenters in this forum start with another commenter’s name and then blockquote text immediately afterwards as you did @ 40, that’s understood to describe that blockquoted text as something the other commenter wrote.

What you did might work if you and Dr. X were the only two people in this forum, but obviously that is not true.

http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com Gretchen

Michael said:

The style used in this forum* did have you quoting Dr. X writing something someone else wrote.

Some people use that style. It certainly shouldn’t be assumed that everyone does, especially in such an obvious case as this. It was at the very least ambiguous if you hadn’t the slightest clue who either Dr. X or I am, which is not the case.

I also suggest you read what I wrote more carefully; I never claimed, insinuated, or even raised your writing someone was an asshole was in reference to Dr. X.

Since you felt the need to point out that the text I was quoting was not authored by Dr. X, who the hell else would I have been calling an asshole?

Honestly, Michael. Give people, especially people you “know” rather well from years upon years of commenting here, the barest shred of the benefit of the doubt. Not doing so, as I said, makes it look like you’re accusing them of idiocy, which is itself idiotic.

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About the Author

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. Read More...