This is What UK W*nkers Search for on Pornhub

Pornhub has decided to give us an insight into people’s search histories, and we’re really rather pleased about it. The site, well-known amongst certain sections of society (definitely not me), has broken down its top 10 global and UK search terms from 2009 to 2015. It makes for fascinating reading.

It turns out that the UK's bishop-bashers, monkey-spankers and salami-strokers are particularly picky about nationalities, with ‘British’ and ‘Indian’ remaining popular over the seven-year period. We’re also developing a weird taste for moisture- and step-relative-themed pornos, with ‘massage’, ‘squirt’, ‘step sister’ and ‘step mom’ all rising to the top. Shudder.

It’s bad news for teachers and babysitters, however, with both professions failing to penetrate the top 10 for the first time in Pornhub's history. ‘Lesbian’, ‘teen’, ‘milf’ and ‘mom’ make up the rest of 2015’s list, alongside ‘cartoon’. Curious. In the globals, I'm particularly pleased to see that 'creampie' has failed to make the grade, though 'hentai', 'step mom', 'step sister' and 'cartoon' (again!?) are all there. You disgusting perverts.

What do you search for when you need to let off some steam? Don't tell us -- save it for the dinner table.