Ninja Blade is like a so-bad-its-good sci-fi /martial arts B-movie that someone accidently gave a 200 million dollar budget. It is the very definition of “more than the sum of its parts.” Combat is repetitive, sound is forgettable, graphics aren’t the best, and you’ll spend as much (or more) time handling Quick Time Events as you do engaging in “real” gameplay. But when everything comes together, this turns out to be one of the most fun games I’ve played in a while. You might want to consider a rental, but if you’re in the mood to just slash some monsters and see some crazy stuff, Ninja Blade delivers.

Even if the amount of content here doesn't rival what you can find in the best action games, Ninja Blade still delivers plenty of boisterous entertainment. This is good old-fashioned fun, delivered with panache and a touch of lunacy. Too derivative to be a classic and too simple to test your virtual combat skills, Ninja Blade is just a blast to play.

Derivative, repetitive and QTE heavy – yet still amazingly good fun. This game is more like Dynasty Warriors than Ninja Gaiden in terms of combat as you can eschew learning stupidly tricky combos in favour of button mashing good times. The over the top bosses add to the sense of spectacle and endeavour to keep the whole thing ticking over. It is not as big or clever as some of its peers but it is a good dollop of fun nonetheless.

Then again, it's easy to be negative with Ninja Blade when you break it down in a reductive fashion, but that's not quite fair. Between the swearing-hard bits and the lulls, it's actually a lot of fun, much like hanging around with any true mentalist. When I read the back of the (Asian import) box, in its three-screenshotted features, it listed "Quick Time Events" as one. That raised an eyebrow. It's like listing "Ineffectual, infinitesimal penis" on a dating site. But Ninja Blade was right. It totally sold me on its ludicrous quick-time events, which have a lot of panache and... oh, I feel bad at even mentioning the demolition ball earlier in the review, but I had to choose one moment of proper "HE DID WHAT TO WHO WHAT?" to give you an example. My response to a lot of Ninja Blade was to laugh at it in the right way. As in, with it.

Have no goal, as Peter La Fleur might say, and you’ll never be disappointed. From Software’s goals with Ninja Blade appear to have been slim to negligible, and with a considerable portion of fans of the infinitely preferable Ninja Gaiden ready to buy up anything with a similar remit, they’re unlikely to be nearly as disappointed as I am.

Instead Ninja Blade relies on quicktime events. This isn’t an occasional moment where you dodge a rolling enemy. The QTE’s in this game are abundant, and they offer the cinematic flare you get in a better title’s general gameplay. Within an hour of playing Ninja Blade I’d gone through a typical year’s worth of QTE’s. Coupled with the inane actions of enemy AI and you have what amounts to a very boring game gilded to make it attractive.