I think the reason loneliness as a pastor's wife can be such a big deal to pastors' wives, is because we are looking for validation, acceptance, and love from the people we are leading. I mean after all, we are giving our all, our family, our life, our love to this ministry. We want to feel loved, because so often we are the ones giving love. Unfortunately, as much as we desire love, this isn't the place to be validated, or satisfied.

I am guilty as charged of searching for validation as a pastor's wife through other women in our church. I long for a friend, or someone who values me. But as you and I know as pastors' wives other women don't really "get us" unless they are a pastor's wife too. So when friendships don't just happen, or women in the church are so closely knit together, but for some reason I am not in that circle. I feel inadequate, unloved, unappreciated, and defeated.

Jesus is the only one who will leave our love tank satisfied. He is the only one who will bring validation to who we are. If we get a hold of this love, we won't long for it in other places because we will know we are loved by the one who matters most. It is so easy to feel lonely in this role, and search for happiness among the people we are around. But the enemy likes nothing more than to take the loneliness this role can bring and twist our heart into defeat.

When you place the weight on other people to make you happy and feel loved you will come up short every time, and you will hinder the potential relationship God has for you with that person. Don't use people to satisfy your heart. You are perfect, loved, and accepted by Jesus. Walk confidently, accept His love, and give His love unconditionally.