Number 1’s: Movie Beatdowns

A good fight scene can really make a movie and an amazing beatdown is something that can be remembered for years to come. So today, we’re picking our top ass-kickings in all of movies.

Dan’s Pick – The Spartans vs. Persian Army, 300

I thought long and hard about which cinematic beat down would be my number one. After racking my brain about who beat up who the best I realized I was looking in the wrong places. Instead of a one on one show down I went with the ultimate underdog fight: 300 Spartans against one million Persian soldiers. With odds so overwhelmingly against the Spartans, it only adds to their bad-assery the smack down they lay upon the Persian Empire, all while wearing nothing but flowing capes and thongs. I defy you to watch the epic battles between these two armies and not want to kick someone while yelling extremely loud at them whilst doing it.

Mark’s Pick – The Alley Fight, They Live

When you inspire one of the most famous scenes on a popular TV show, you’re definitely one of the best beat downs of all time. So let me formally nominate, the alley fight from the 1988 cult classic They Live. For those uneducated about the greatness of They Live, you may know this fight better as the Timmy vs. Jimmy fight on South Park. But no matter how hilarious it is to watch two crippled cartoon characters duke it out, nothing will top the original tussle between Rowdy Roddy Piper and Keith David. Also, I’d like to believe this was what happened in the 80s when you wouldn’t wear Ray-Bans.

Anthony’s Pick – The Elevator Scene, Drive

When he’s not being ridiculously good looking or refusing to eat his cereal, Ryan Gosling is actually a pretty good actor. I first took notice of him as a crack-smoking inner city schoolteacher in Half Nelson, but I still did not know how much of a badass he could be until I saw him in Drive. Drive is a unique movie; long moments on the slow burner give way to an ultra-violent third act and it’s the scene in the elevator that let’s you know that the nameless driver has gone past the threshold of sanity and is on a mission to stomp out random ass dudes looking to blow his pretty boy face off. The juxtaposition of the slow-mo kiss just before shit gets real is but a microcosm of the rest of the film.