Xbox One or PlayStation 4: Which system for which type of gamer?

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Do you like TV? Are you a hardcore gamer? Are you a casual gamer? Are you a tech layman? Well, those categories are pretty vague and the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 aren’t out yet, but I’m going to spitball and determine which is the right system for you. These are guidelines, based on my intimate knowledge of your tastes and personality, and you should feel in no way concerned that the Kinect or PlayStation Eye will tell me anything I don’t already know.

FPS player (bro)

Call of Duty: Ghosts and Battlefield 4 are coming out for both systems, so it’s a pretty hard choice. You can win an Xbox One if you get Mountain Dew and Doritos, or you can win a PlayStation 4 ahead of time if you buy the Taco Bell $5 lunch box. Unfortunately, I don’t think you can enter to win both if you get a Doritos Locos taco, Cool Ranch or not. It looks like the junk food marketing aspect is a wash, but only the Xbox One washes it down with Mountain Dew.

Ultimately, Halo’s going to be the dealbreaker, and Halo 5 is practically confirmed for the Xbox One some time in the future. You think any of your friends are gonna be playing Killzone? Put on your Spartan armor and get pwning when you get bored with your military shooter of choice.

FPS player (standard)

Okay, now that the bros are out of the way, let me remind you that you’re a serious FPS player. Why should you sully your hands with a gamepad when a mechanical keyboard and high-sensitivity laser mouse, both wired of course, are the only tools worthy of your craft? Let the kids have their toys.

So you won’t be playing Halo 5. You probably won’t be playing Destiny either, unless a PC port is announced. You can still play Call of Duty: Ghosts and Battlefield 4 if you want a laugh, and for true gaming you’ll always have your well-worn, memorized installs of Counter-Strike and Team Fortress 2.

You know you weren’t really considering getting a console, anyway.

Sports fans

Ask your friends which systems they’re getting. If you’re better than them at Madden, get the same system so you can beat them any time. If they’re better than you at Madden/NBA 2K14, get the other system so they can only play you on your home turf.

Indie gamer

You can’t use Desura or GOG or download Humble Bundle games on Xbox Live or the PlayStation Network, man. Keep gaming on your PC but, if you want a console right now, the the PS4 has a lock on the indie titles.

Retro gamer

Surprise: Get a Nintendo Wii U. The Xbox One and PlayStation 4 don’t have much word in what classic games will be available on them, and the Wii U not only has its own Virtual Console, but a Wii menu with a pretty full back catalog of Virtual Console games you’ll be able to upgrade to full Wii U versions (so you can play on the gamepad) for $1.50 a pop when they come out.

When the PlayStation 4 gets PSOne and PS2 Classics, though, that’ll be another story entirely.

Early adopter (with money to spend)

Uh, get both. What are you, a Luddite content with Angry Birds? Step out of yesterday and jump into tomorrow!

Early Adopter (with an actual budget)

Early adopter (with no budget)

Sell two kidneys. You’ll be fine (note: I am not a doctor).

Brand-dedicated hardcore gamer with discerning tastes

Let me remind you just how superior Microsoft/Sony (circle one) is at crafting a genuine gaming experience, unlike the bros and casuals at Sony/Microsoft. The Xbox One/PlayStation 4 is clearly the superior console of the generation, and the people who spend money on the PlayStation 4/Xbox One have no taste.

Not only does Xbox Live/PlayStation Network offer a much better online gaming experience and more services than PlayStation Network/Xbox Live, but the Kinect/PlayStation Eye will offer valuable gesture controls and video chat and it’s obviously better than it’s included/not included in the box. The new Xbox One/PlayStation 4 gamepad is also immensely more comfortable and responsive than the PlayStation 4/Xbox One gamepad, and you can’t even use the PlayStation 4/Xbox One gamepad without your hand cramping up.

Then there are the exclusives. I mean, sure the big games around launch are going to be cross-platform, but look at how Ryse: Son of Rome/Knack/Crimson Dragon/Killzone: Shadow Fall/Killer Instinct/Forza Motorsport 5 look amazing/underwhelming, with Driveclub/infamous: Second Son clearly looking like inferior/superior titles down the line.

Realist

New game consoles are coming this month. They cost $400-500. They don’t have many major titles that won’t also be released on a competing console or PC. Wait a bit for more interesting games to come out, or you’ll be using either system as little more than a three-game toy that plays Blu-ray discs for the next six months.