If I have to see the ad for Haywire one more time I’m going to…do nothing at all. But I’m going to wish I that I was a short-bus superhero whose power was to go temporarily blind and deaf.

Really, Steven Soderbergh? Another movie about a betrayed spy, but it’s different because there’s a woman knocking people over like a rainforest in Peru instead of Matt Damon, Daniel Craig or Jason Statham?