The Depressed Dad

I haven’t talked about this very much, but I have been fighting some situational depression. As a dad, it is easy to get caught up in things and lose focus on what really matters. I think that may be what happened. A while ago, I switched jobs and started really working on this blog and doing more dad gear reviews. It was great. We started racking up some debt and that instantaneously causes me to stop and say woah. I believe you should have a little debt as possible.

With the extra debt on our shoulders, we took a trip to Iceland which was an absolutely breathtaking experience. If you haven’t gone, you need to. We came back to a full credit card and Christmas around the corner. In addition to the debt my father had just had a heart attack and was rough to deal with. Thankfully, God saw that it wasn’t his time yet. It is still added stress. In addition, I learned that my job may be phased out because of budgetary constraints, so I was working extra side work.

All the added stress continued to build on top of each other amplifying everything. Finally, I got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and had to do something. I started seeing a counselor which helped with the management of it all. She was dumbfounded at how I had handled the amount of stress for so long. Talking with her opened my eyes to other things that were happening causing unnecessary stress in my life. One of which was sacrificing nearly everything that I enjoyed doing for the “good” of the family.

The family is what matters, and the good of the family is having a father/husband and a mother/wife with a sound mind. At the time I didn’t have the sound mind, in fact, I was spiraling out of control. I had given up just about everything I enjoyed doing from going to the range, to doing reviews. This was one of the reasons the rolltop backpack took so long to get published. As soon, as I began to write again things began looking up. The focus shifted from what’s going on with me that sucks and was put onto what I enjoy doing.

Today I feel great and am the happiest I have been in months. While there is a certain amount of hopelessness that is looming about, it is controllable. This morning I got a text from my brothers wanting to do breakfast in the morning, just made things better.

The problem was if I am the leader of my family, and I am down, depressed, anxious, worried or a variety of other things, it will cause my family to move in that direction too. Being dad we need to be strong and know we are having trouble. We need to seek help early to prevent things from reaching a critical level where the hopelessness is unbearable. While I didn’t have and clinical depression, it still is important to seek help immediately to avoid things from spiraling. You have a family to protect, love, and provide for.

If you are fortunate enough to have a spouse by your side, be sure to talk. even when uncomfortable. A catharsis moment me be just what you need for a reset. Take a moment and breathe, life happens. At some point you will be at your lowest. Prepare for it. Plan for it. Know what to do if you begin to feel a certain way. And document what makes you happy and lifts your spirits. Use systems like the bullet journal to aid you in having a positive outlook and planning your tasks and schedules. Above all, don’t be too much of a bigshot to not ask for help.

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This Post Has 4 Comments

Frederico

Whoa, thanks for the honesty in your article. It’s unexpected, but it’s the healthy way to go, it’s so so important to embrace our feelings and frailties in an intentional manner, otherwise it will only deteriorate into downward spirals of sickeness, violence and destruction.

Thanks for your comment Frederico! It can be tough, and I know that I am not dealing with the same things as other dads. I am just trying to help enlighten dads to know that they are not above it and that they too may need help.

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