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heyo
its been awful quiet here!
not much going on in my life. sociology was cancelled today and on Wednesday so thats a nice little treat.
i'm just about to play sims. going to build my house. that should take a bit of work, since although i don't live in a HUGE house, its a house for 4 people who all need their space. so it might take a while to make my house perfect.
i have decided that today is going to be my self care day. i'm going to do what i want to do to take care of my mental health and have a day off.

You know I really didn't expect to find myself here again, I was probably 14, maybe 15 last time I wound up on here, on the phone to Harper at 10pm, picking at the ladders in my school tights.
Its strange because it been 6 years and yet sometimes I still slip back into that same routine, crossed legs at the end of my bed, listening to the silence on her end of the phone, waiting for a laugh or a "fuck sake 'av you seen this?"
We always used to do that.

hello to anyone who still visits this website!
I'm just here. at home. drinking a mocha latte.
I feel like I need to write about stuff today.
had IOP last night, i think i mentioned in my last blog that insurance approved maybe 3 days of IOP. I wasn't able to eat too much. a couple bites of my rice bowl and two yogurts with almonds in it and maybe 3/4 of my juice. i didn't get to most of my rice bowl, any of my applesauce, or my dessert.
but i think i'm ok with it.
i'm ok with it because i realized i might not be trying hard enough.

hellloooo
it's Saturday. great to have a break from school.
feeling a bit less depressed since i upped my mood stabilizer :)
insurance FINALLY got back to me! they approved IOP. they said i can go on Monday, and they tend to approve 6 days at a time so i'm good for two weeks of iop :)
last night I was NOT doing well. i was searching and looking at mega triggering pictures of skinny girls. I was counting up what i'd eaten that day... i went on sites that can only hurt me.