Natalie's Chocolate Knockout

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

9.4

8.5

9.6

Critics feedback

Defending champ Natalie entered the bakeoff ring this morning like Rocky Balboa cradling a chocolate mountain adorned with three types of truffles. Each slice of this behemoth bore distinct layers of flavoursome sponge and cream, topped with a substantial amount of punchy orange chocolate ganache. Cake and truffles combined to make a super-rich sacrifice to the cocoa gods which may have been too much for some, judging by the resultant cake comas. When we did return to our senses, the scores were unsurprisingly high, just like us.

Total Score

9.2

Current Standings

The Bake Off
Leaderboard

Pos.

Baked Entry

Score

1st

Natalie's Chocolate Knockout

9.2

2nd

Sophie’s Toffee Apple Cracker

8.7

3rd=

Dan’s Caramel Battle Victory Spoils

8.3

3rd=

Jon's Beautiful Blackberry Burgeroons

8.3

3rd=

Sophia’s Dual Savoury & Sweet Mediterranean Offensive

8.3

6th=

Daniel’s Double Cake Flap Attack

8.2

6th=

Matty’s Meticulous Orange Cakes of Wizardy

8.2

8th

Fleurie’s Personalised Chocolate Fandango

7.7

9th

Tom’s Teasing Tarts of Joy

7.5

10th

Brandon’s Lemon Lemon Drizzle Shizzle

7.3

11th

Andy's Crazlenut Choc Love Circles

6.9

12th

Cathryn’s New Yoik Cheesecake of Liberty

6.4

How Does It Work?

The Rules

Rule #1

Each player pays an entry fee and picks a name from a hat.
This name is their nominated Great British Bake Off contestant.

Rule #2

Each week on the GBBO, a contestant is eliminated.
The player who had that name now has to bake for the rest of the team, before the next programme airs.

Rule #3

Baked goods will be judged according to our rigorous judging criteria and scored appropriately.

Rule #4

Each player left in the competition on the final day will bake.
However, there can only be one winner.

Rule #5

Our leaderboard winner receives the prize money!

With Special Thanks to

Heather Brown

For providing the sweepstake pack that sparked our competitive baking.
To take part in your own sweepstake, visit her website.

1st

Natalie's Chocolate Knockout

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

9.4

8.5

9.6

Critics feedback

Defending champ Natalie entered the bakeoff ring this morning like Rocky Balboa cradling a chocolate mountain adorned with three types of truffles. Each slice of this behemoth bore distinct layers of flavoursome sponge and cream, topped with a substantial amount of punchy orange chocolate ganache. Cake and truffles combined to make a super-rich sacrifice to the cocoa gods which may have been too much for some, judging by the resultant cake comas. When we did return to our senses, the scores were unsurprisingly high, just like us.

Total Score

9.2

X

2nd

Sophie’s Toffee Apple Cracker

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

8.6

8.7

8.7

Critics feedback

Sophie made an extra special effort to neglect the kids this weekend in order to do her own homework, a terrifically calorific thesis on cakeology. This mischievous student showed a total disregard for our collective fitness regimes and delivered a devious bake full of toffee and cream for the judges. Guilt and weighing scales aside, Sophie got top grades for her cinnamon spiced sponge, dotted with sultanas and infused with a sticky apple caramel sauce to die for. Finally the white chocolate and vanilla topping added a welcome lightness to this truly indulgent bake. Gold stars all round!

Total Score

8.7

X

3rd=

Dan’s Caramel Battle Victory Spoils

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Penalty

Score /10

8.0

9.0

9.0

-5%

Critics feedback

A kitchen weary Dan returned from battle to unveil his caramel coup de grace in the form of some neatly cut millionaire shortbread. These triple layered treats might have taken three attempts to make but they didn’t need that many to eat. Silky smooth caramel, buttery biscuit and tempered chocolate all united together harmoniously in this veritable trifecta of moreishness. Though the ratio of shortbread to topping was slightly unbalanced any doubts soon dissolved away in the mouth. If Dan keeps up this baking malarkey he could have himself a nice little money-maker based on today’s efforts, shame about the penalty for being a day late though.

Total Score

8.3

X

3rd=

Jon's Beautiful Blackberry Burgeroons

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

8.5

7.9

8.5

Critics feedback

Like a postman, Jon quietly does a lot of his work early but he always delivers. So by the time most of us staggered in from the misty quayside, he had already deposited and arranged his entry as a true designer should. Our bleary faces were pinched and slapped into life by these small, sweet, bright pink and purple creations, which looked like a cross between a metrosexual UFO fused with George and Zippy from Rainbow. Their visual consistency was simply stunning and as they sat there in a formation most cheerleaders would be proud of, in truth they looked more like a lab creation than a kitchen one. If the visual attack was the over-zealous jab to the optic nerve, then these weighty, fragile burger-shaped macaroons delivered their knockout punch with a classy burst of blackberry which left your brain reeling at the flavourful potency. The flavour was incredible, their fragility was charming but perhaps the only negative note was a centre that collapsed faster than Jeremy Corbyn’s cabinet after a bad PR week. Bravo, bravo!

Total Score

8.3

X

3rd=

Sophia’s Dual Savoury & Sweet Mediterranean Offensive

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

8.1

8.3

8.6

Critics feedback

Sophia cast aside her surface layer of Britishness and summoned the power of her ancestors from the old country for this savoury and sweet double bake. She headed off on her Vespa to collect the ingredients from an Italian delicatessen, then whilst drinking espresso and listening to Pavarotti she set about creating something to make la famiglia proud. Like many Italians, she did her talking with her hands and these milk-infused mediterranean masterpieces did not disappoint. The warm Italian Pork, Pesto and Black Olive Bread was a satisfying savoury triumph and this was followed up by a Sweet Cinnamon and Cocoa Nibs Bread that contained an impressive marbling effect which could have adorned the halls of St Peter. The accompanying Salad-branded napkins were a very nice touch as well. Forza Italia!

Total Score

8.3

X

6th=

Daniel’s Double Cake Flap Attack

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

7.5

8.3

8.8

Critics feedback

Daniel clearly spent his weekend summoning the four horsemen of the taste-apocalypse. Not only did he bestow upon us an apple and walnut spongecake, he also delivered ginger and chocolate flapjacks. I think it’s fair to say the undoubted star of the show was Daniel’s apple cake, with it’s toffee-nut flavour combo and oh-so-moist sponge. But somewhere between conjuring his second bake and writing the future hit ‘Get Your Bake On’, presumably under the influence of cake mix, Daniel may have gone too far. The flapjacks were a bold move but the the balance of ginger and choc didn’t provide the payoff this judge hoped for. So an A for effort but could try less hard in future.

Total Score

8.2

X

6th=

Matty’s Meticulous Orange Cakes of Wizardy

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

8.3

8.0

8.3

Critics feedback

Perhaps inspired by a historic accidental post-holiday fake tanning incident, Matty went orange in a big way with this effort and like a successful space probe mission, he landed it with aplomb.
This visual attack immediately sidestepped your eyelids, snuck in through your pupils and started panel-beating your brain like a skilled-but-drunk mechanic on the verge of bankruptcy. These wondrous spheres of loveliness were each topped with a consistent and beautifully crafted swirly orange flavoured, soft-and-subtle buttercream and the chocolate packed sponge was light and fluffy with the odd choc-chunk in there for good measure. They may or may not have been topped with a delicious-but-shop-bought segment of chocolate orange.
The impressive appearance resulted in many impressed nods from the Salad crew. It was a fantastic creation and just like in real life, Matty certainly added a touch of diversity to this year’s competition. A visually-stunning, tasty effort.

Total Score

8.2

X

8th

Fleurie’s Personalised Chocolate Fandango

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

7.4

7.7

8.1

Critics feedback

Fleurie’s Salad birth may have been half way through the contest, but as soon as her eyes adjusted to the light and she gained control of her limbs, she commandeered a kitchen and embarked on a personal journey of bake. The resulting brownies were firm to touch and laced with a midway layer of erotic, sweet toffee sauce. The taste was everything you wanted it to be although it did deliver such an early morning sugar-hit that it left you scrabbling around in a visionless world, confused as to which edges of the room were walls and which were floors/ceilings. Feeling similar I imagine to an astronaut re-entering the earth’s atmosphere, the drill was to make use of our office chair headrests, let gravity do it’s thing and wait for the world to return in glorious technicolour. Never shy of an opportunity to bring a little village hall style craft to any occasion, each brownie came with a lovingly made hand drawn miniature flag. Well done mademoiselle, c’est bon!

Total Score

7.7

X

9th

Tom’s Teasing Tarts of Joy

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

6.5

7.3

8.6

Critics feedback

Tom’s decision to bake ‘tarts’ was one that few could have foreseen but this had been no ordinary undertaking. The thick, crumbly pastry cases were satisfying with an almost shortbread-like quality. Upon these perfectly sculpted cradles sat three different homemade jam toppings each boasting an impressive sugary burst which maintained a little tart twang. Some may say that Tom is unlucky that the simplicity of the bake has resulted in a lower appearance score but the effort was clearly noted. Overall, they were a triumph and Tom can walk the streets of Poole with a satisfied swagger.

Total Score

7.5

X

10th

Brandon’s Lemon Lemon Drizzle Shizzle

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

6.7

7.5

7.6

Critics feedback

At key, pressure-cooker moments in your life, you often have little recollection of how you got to the other side - and Brandon was suspiciously vague about the details of how he made his masterpiece, but make it he did (allegedly). Brandon unshackled himself from the undoubted bitterness that exists when another new colleague volunteers you for a terrifying debut bake and created a simple, subtle, lemony cake of joy. Lemon butter icing adorned a light, lemony sponge and whilst the former packed more of a citrus punch than the latter, the overall lemony-ness of the creation was spot-on. It was a competent, pleasing bake from the agency’s latest coding machine!

Total Score

7.3

X

11th

Andy's Crazlenut Choc Love Circles

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

6.5

7.5

6.7

Critics feedback

First out of the oven in this year’s competition is Andy who presented his platter of crowd-pleasing cookies. Though cookies are never going to win the beauty contest at a bakeoff, they were uniform, well cooked and certainly enticing. On first bite, an explosion of chewy dough and crunchy hazelnuts was immediately apparent. It took a while to reach the chocolate heart hidden at the centre but that just made the journey all the more worthwhile. Andy’s claim 'they make rainbows appear' was, however, not substantiated. A solid start to the comp.

Total Score

6.9

X

12th

Cathryn’s New Yoik Cheesecake of Liberty

Judging criteria

Appearance

Taste

Effort

Score /10

5.1

6.4

7.6

Critics feedback

Cathryn had the almighty fear of baking following her around like that weird, over-emotional lovesick boy classmate who had way too much pocket money and a loyalty card at Clinton’s, but once she got in the kitchen and securely locked all doors and windows, she attacked her task with the unfettered gusto of an over-enthusiastic US policemen at a peaceful protest. The main vanilla-infused cheesecake layer was subtle-yet-effective and harmonised beautifully with the chocolate top. Sure, the base could have been thicker, but her main downfall was picking a fight with the ambient room temperature at Salad HQ. Short of bringing along her own portable fridge, our toasty office was always going to affect her appearance score. A triumphant effort to be proud of.