Pages

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

the top ten hardest things about being in a relationship

Full disclosure. I'm in a relationship. This should come as no surprise to people who regularly read this blog (since they all know me personally), but in case you don't, I like to put it out there once in a while so I won't seem like a giant hypocrite. The truth is, it's easier to talk about BLOW OFFs when you're off the market. If I was single, I probably wouldn't have the stamina to start this blog.

One of the things those of us in relationships say all the time is that relationships are "hard." And even though it sounds cliche, it's true. So, here are the top ten hardest things about being in a relationship (composed with the help of the BF). If any of you single people out there would like to send me the top ten hardest things about being single, you know where to reach me.

Hopefully, this list will make you feel a little better about flying solo for now.

10. You can no longer do things at your pace. There's nothing the BF hates more than the sound of the blow dryer ten minutes before we're about to leave the house. There's nothing I hate more than him impatiently staring at me while I blow dry my hair. There was a time I could change my outfit thirty times without anyone thinking I was insecure or crazy for doing so. There was a time he could take naps without someone yelling at him to get up, so we'd get somewhere on time. Side note, if you live together, pooping in peace kind of goes out the window.

9. There are certain foods you will rarely get to eat again, because your significant other isn't into them. I hate mushrooms, so we never cook with them. He's not a fan of Thai food, which used to be one of my go to meals out. There are also certain places you may never get to travel to together, because the other person has so little interest in going there, they won't compromise.

8. Splitting your time and holidays between each other's friends and family. As much as you might love your significant others college besties or immediate and extended family--- you don't necessarily want to spend every vacation or Saturday night with them. A word to the wise, wait for marriage to start spending the holidays with each other's families. Starting the holiday swapping early can get way too complicated.

7. Yes, significant others can be full of compliments and sweet nothings, but they can also be full of criticism. It's not easy having someone around to point out your personality flaws to you, especially when they're right about them.

6. Even the most independent people start getting a little co-dependent once they've been with someone for awhile and especially once they're living with the person they're dating. The stakes in a relationship get higher (and scarier) when you honestly couldn't imagine your life without them. Being that vulnerable is effing hard.

5. The jealousy factor. Even if you're the most secure person, jealousy still rears its ugly head here and there. Sometimes it can be sexy or humorous to see your sig other in flirt mode, but other times it makes you want to throw up all over their face.

4. The DVR. Sometimes I just want to catch up on Oprah or watch reruns of Sex and the City. Sometimes he just wants to catch up on Justified and Spartacus. Before you know it, all you end up watching is American Idol.

3. There's always someone else to consider besides yourself. Depending on how serious the relationship, a lot of things need to be decided by committee (weekend plans, finances, where to live, where to work, etc. etc.) Sometimes you just want to do what you want to do.

2. No more firsts. Don't get me wrong, there isn't anyone I'd rather go through life with, but sometimes you do get a little jealous of people who are still in their honeymoon phase. And it is a little weird to think you won't have another great first kiss or first date or first bang.

1. The fights. All of the above can cause minor arguments or huge blow outs and they're not fun. They stir up emotions you don't want stirred up, people say things they don't mean, and shit gets messy. Even if the make up sex is off the charts, it's not worth it. And not all fights ends with it anyway.

2 comments:

I for one don't know you and we will probably never even see eachothers face but I absolutely love your blog! I am in college and know a few ladies that would love to spend there "study break" time reading this stuff!

about the blow off

We've all been blown off, we've all blown someone off. Share your story: the blow off texts, emails, voice mail messages you've either sent or received to mark the end of a relationship. And if the blow off consisted of a disappearing act, post a missing person's report. Or just read stories about break ups in general.