Rumours are reaching us here at Puzzletome HQ that there may be a problem with Christmas! Details are sketchy but there are reports of elves being sighted in cities around the world. They appear to be searching for something, or someone...

We'll bring you more news as we get it!_________________Puzzletome - Confusion now hath made his masterpiece!

It is now being reported that present production in Lapland is on hold. Initial comments that this was merely a knock-on effect of the credit crunch have been dismissed, and speculation is rife as to how serious the problem really is. The head of the enterprise himself appears to have gone into hiding, so it is almost impossible to get reliable reports into the situation.

An internal source suggested that feelers are being put out to strategic figures who may be able to assist with whatever the current problems are. Speculation that experienced private investigators could be among them may or may not be rumour-mongering.

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NEWS FLASH

We have received notification that a news conference will be taking place on Friday 12 December at 5:00pm GMT. Early indications are that full and frank revelations of unprecedented events will be revealed.

My advice is that this is something you won't want to miss. This is Sam H. Rett, reporting for PT-TV from Lapland. Now back to the studio..._________________Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy?
I don't know and I don't care!

The PT Times can exclusively reveal that "there is absolutely, positively, definitely nothing wrong with Christmas". In our interview with SantaCorps' head elf, we get to the bottom of today's rumours.

Striking a diminutive figure, Qwrxtlsprxtlfnarbl'gfnargen, 2317, fidgets nervously as I corner him. "The rumours are entirely unfounded," he pleads unconvincingly. "SantaCorps is continuing to produce presents for what we hope will be the best Christmas ever."

My questions about the whereabouts of the MD of SantaCorps are met with a hostile response. "He is often out of contact for protracted periods! This is nothing unusual!"

The reasons for the press conference remain a mystery, but Qwrxtlsprxtlfnarbl'gfnargen assures us it is still going ahead. "You will find out what is happening at the same time as everyone else!"

He clicks his fingers and disappears; the mystery of Christmas will continue to baffle until tomorrow evening._________________Puzzletome - Confusion now hath made his masterpiece!

And now we go over to to our Lapland correspondent Sam H. Rett for that all important news conference we have been waiting for. Sam...

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Yes, Qwrxtlsprxtlfnarbl'gfnargen, 2317, is coming out of SantaCorps HQ as we speak. Let's listen to what he has to say:

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I have a brief statement to read. A few days ago, shortly after attending a meeting with the Elf Executive, the MD of SantaCorps left our headquarters and has not been seen since. At first we believed that he had left to attend secret meetings aimed at a takeover of Woolworths Group PLC, since this would obviously be a great source to augment the Lapland production plant. However, this transpired not to be the case. We have had to admit, reluctantly, that he really has gone missing. Since the timing of the event could not be any worse for SantaCorps, we suspect some sort of nefarious activity is involved.

We would ask people not to panic however, since contingency plans are in place to ensure that Christmas can still go ahead. We have enlisted the help of the world's top expert in such situations, and we feel sure - as does he - that the matter will be quickly resolved.

That is all I have to say. I will not be answering any further questions - it is up to you to deduce what you will. Thank you.

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Well you heard it here first folks! A Christmas Quarrel of some kind looks to have broken out, and it seems that the fate of Yuletide has been put in the hands of an unnamed expert. Our research people think that it could be the renowned private investigator Paul Trigger. I think you should all keep a close eye on this:

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Paul Trigger Investigates: A Christmas Quarrel is now live._________________Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy?
I don't know and I don't care!