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Titanic 3D Trailer Airs During Mad Men Premiere. Great.

We all reach a time in our lives when our childhood naïveté is replaced by old curmudgeon-ness. Usually this takes place after life beats a person down; twenty years at a job and no promotion, children who don’t love or appreciate their parents, cheating spouse, etc. After a lifetime of disappointments, it’s hard for a person to not become ill-tempered. Yet, as of last night, during my tender early twenties, I feel like I have finally become an angry old coot. Especially considering the last 400 things I’ve written about have been complaints about new things.

And what could have possibly caused this? Why, while watching the superb return of Mad Men last night, I was slapped in the crotch with the trailer for the re-release of James Cameron’s acclaimed film, Titanic, IN 3D! Well fuck me sideways!

And you know what? Fine. They’re re-releasing one of the most successful films of all time on the 100th anniversary of the actual tragedy on which it was based. It’s a stunt to make money, but at least it has some historical significance. It’s been done before, and hell, It might even be great to see some people fall off a boat into the ocean IN THE THIRD DIMENSION!

What really ticked me off, though, was that the highest grossing film of all time (from 1997 until 2009, when Avatar came along with 18 dollar tickets and a swarm of depressed people, to usurp its top grossing spot), was advertised as from “The Visionary Director of Avatar.” What??? This wasn’t some no name small budget film we’re talking about. It was Titanic. Everyone knows about it. They still make fun of the scene on the boat with the flying or whatever. Two huge actors were the stars of the film (and Billy Zane!), who are still known primarily for their roles in this movie. What sort of world are we living in where past triumphs are being overshadowed by new accomplishments? It would be like talking about how dead Bea Arthur was instead of discussing her role in the Golden Girls.

Check out the trailer and let me know if you think it’s as dumb as I do.

I’d see Titanic 3D stoned as tits and weep at the sheer spectacle and grandiosity of it as some sort of indulgent, Bradburian zenith of humanity, but I’d be too ripped in the head to know if that was a good thing or a great thing.