WEEK TWO. RECAP STYLE

Week two kicked off a divisional matchup featuring the Tigers going on the road to face off against the Punishers. Both teams came in winless and we’re coming off tough opening day losses. This game stayed scoreless for the first 17 minutes and 42 seconds. Austin Williams who caught four passes on the drive, hauled in a beautiful sideline catch to put the Punishers up 7 at the break. The next 16 minutes of this one were a lot like the previous 17; scoreless. It wasn’t until 2 mi jets remained that JMAC for the Punishers caught a 40 yard dig route over the middle to 6. Austin Williams would add his second TD of the game to clinch it. The Tigers got a hard fought box out TD from Bobby Digital as the clock was winding down. The Tigers D is firm but their QB with a high ankle sprain might derail their season. Punishers evenup their record at 1-1 with the win, 19-6

Illmatic and Young Dynasty battled at 8:30 and this one went to the wire. Despite Illmatic jumping out to a 19-6 lead at halftime, and then a first play TD in the second half by Illmatic, Young Dynasty kept on keeping on. Down by 21 points with 11 minutes left to play, Young D made their move. Tyler Baker scored a TD, then Ryan Sifferlin. Then Sifferlin again with under a minute to play. They attempted the risky and very early in the season Money Ball conversion. The ball went up. Into the air, it touched Bakers hands, then Sifferlin, then Jordan Martin, then Joey Parzych, then Baker and finally the ground. Much like Father Time, gravity is undefeated. Illmatic has star performances from Jordan Martin, 5 receptions, 1 TD and Cory White on D who racked up a pair of sacks. Illmatic gets to 500 whilst keeping Young Dynasty winless,27-18.

The Blitz forum requested a Battletoads and Vinegar Strikes matchup from sheer curiosity. Both teams are the lovable athletes who compete despite goofing around and chugging beers (jealous i know). The Vinegar Strokes came out a bit on the flat side in this one as the Toads veteran leadership leaped them off to a 20-0 point lead at the half. Dan Conboy had himself a diving catch in the endzone, while Ben Glassman had a pair of dump off TDs for the Toads. Luckily for the Strokes, there are two halves of football to play. As their late stragglers showed up, they came into the second half a different team. Mike Kelly got them off the shnide with a 60 yard scamper to the house. Folllowed by a deep toss down the sideline to Brad Kamal. Kamal would strike again, this time by way of quick slant. A slant that he would take the length the field for the score. The Battletoads John Groff officially put it outta reach with a pair of back-to-back TDS. One on a corner route and the other on a tiptoe flag shimmy over the pylon. Kamal would eventually get himself the touchdown hat trick but with just40 ticks left on the clock. The Strokes make it competitive thanks in part to the Toads takin their feet off the gas. The Vinegar Strokes are handed their franchise loss, 33-22.

The Rage and Blue Balls of Doom squared off at 930 in the BLITZ GAME OF THE WEEEEEEEK (double air horn sound effects). Joe Harris earned his player of the game honors early in the first half. This reigning playoff MVP accumulated 3 catches in the first drive, one of which went for 6. Rob Keddie and his sleeves caught the extra point in the back of the endzone to put Rage up by 7. BBOD’s secret weapon, Vinnie Frasco was a force to be reckoned with all game. The newly suited number 28 plucked himself a pass from the sky and crossed over the middle to tie the game up with 2 minutes left to play in the half. It seemed as though this would head into the locker room the same way it started, but Keddie had different plans. On fourth and long from their own 15, Keddie stopped on a dime to get the defender to bite and then streaked up the field to find a perfectly floated pass waiting for him like a large pillow from the sky. Rage up 13-7 at the break. After the Blue Balls failed to score in their first drive, the Rage took advantage. QB Jimmy Sanford found Chris Yinn wide open over the top to go up 12. Then finally with 5 minutes left to play, Frasco struck again. He caught a drag route from the ten and then spun his flags straight down onto the goal line to make it a one score game. The Rage stalled on their next drive and BBOD was marching. QB Jordan Miranda got them all the way down to the Rage 5 yard line. He dropped back, scrambled and found…Anthony Williams of the Rage in the endzone. The pick by Ant seals it. Rage hang on, 19-14.

In a big time divisional matchup, the shorthanded Vikings went on the road to take on the also shorthanded Goonies. The Vikings were sluggish a bit out of the gate but Kevin Langevin was not. His catch to TD ratio is Gucci this season as he caught his second pass and second TD of the season in the first half. The Goonies responded shortly after before the break thanks to a Mike Pisapia TD to pull within one. After the cheerleaders ran off the field from a much overproduced halftime show, these two duked it out once again. Nate Forsaith started it off by stealing a Goonies errant pass and rumbling to the house for 6. Charles Roaf made a leaping pass in the front of the endzone for the Goonies. Quickly Mike Lamonday pitched for his squad. He reeled in a missile type floater McGoo from Forsaith to increase the lead. The Goonies would not let that take them down. Steve Tambouris connected with a bearded athletic man named Joe to pull within a point. An extra point conversion by the Goonies would send this sucker to OT, but John Colon said “no. Just no. ” He sacked Tambouris as he scrambled in the backfield to close the door on this one. The Vikings remain undefeated in a thriller, 19-18.

At 10:30 Flagnado took on Instinct at home in a divisional battle. The game started off with a forced fumble by Jake Tinirella on defense. Two plays later he took at handoff up the left sideline from the 13 yard line for the score. Instinct came back on the final drive of the first half thanks to a TD by Jerrod Childs to give his team a one point lead at the half. Flagnado on their opening drive marched the ball down to the 4 yard line where Tinirella would find pay dirt once again for the lead. The Flagnado D then forced another fumble this time by Jeff Kuchar. That fumble would lead to a Bill Savary touchdown from the 2. With Flagnado up two scores and 5 minutes to play, Instinct made their move. Joe Page pulled out all the stops on offense executing each play call to perfection. He would eventually find Derek Crawford in the endzone to pull within a score. After a turnover on downs by Flagnado, the Instinct offense took over looking to score. They orchestrated a comeback drive of the ages that started on their own one line and ended as a leaping touchdown over the middle to David Acosta for the equalizer. This game seemed destined for OT, but not if the Flagnado offense had a say in it. With 1:23on the clock, Ethan would catch an out. Then Pat Morris, followed by Dylan Humphrey. Tinirella would add get the first down at the sideline to stop the clock with 33 seconds left. One play later Savary streaked across the middle of the field and leaped into the sky to catch the game-winning TD with just a few ticks left on the clock. Flagnado keeps Instinct winless as they survive a tough one, 25-19.

The Tune Squad did not face off against the Monstars in the 11:05 matchup, but they did run into Beast Mode who faced a similar fate as their aforementioned green gooned space team. On the first play of the game, Ryan Maloney was gifted a bacon flavored pigskin touchdown from Derek Stella to take an uber quick lead. A lead that they would never hand over. Paradise, Stella, Freddie and another TD from Maloney would add to the first half onslaught. Evan White and Damon Wilson would add TDs of their own by way of the air in the second half. Damon Wilson also found himself on the right end of three errant Beast Mode passes, one of which went back for six to complete the drubbing. Beast Mode scores their first TDs of the season thanks to Adam Hirbour and Vin Hoang, but they were not enough in this one. Tune Squad stays undefeated thus far 47-12.

The high noon showdown was as lackluster as bringing a waffle ball bat to a gun fight at ok corral. The very shorthanded Dream Killers took on an equally as shorthanded Americas children in an offensive first half laugher. Both teams moved the ball up and down the field with ease but when they reached the Red Zone, they would spin their spurs in sand. The usually high powered Murica offense only was able to manage one TD from center Buddy Bajerski, whilst the Dream Killers got their score by way of a beautiful, diving groin-pulling endzone grab by Kyle Twiss. The second half was more of the same as each team only managed one score. One by Scal from Murica, and the other by Twiss again with 40 seconds left to send it into overtime. RPS champion of the day Ross Pepin elected to take the ball for his squad in hopes to end it quickly. “We want ball cuz we’re gonna score…maybe kinda,” he shouted as he reveled in the RPS shutout. And just as predicted, Pepin was right. Bernard Lynch caught a little bubble screen, spun and twisted his flags out of defenders reaches, and then scampered to the endzone for the win. Americas Children extends its “win streak” to two, 18-12.

Following the overtime thriller, the Athletes squared off against the Reapers. In what some believe could be a possible conference championship preview, was anything but. On the first play of the game, Dee Jennings scored his first of three TDs on the game to set the tone of the game. QB Matt Bailey was popping questions all game and the Reapers had no answer for him. He threw for a career high 4 TDs, totaled a 125.6 BZQBR, added a rushing TD and picked off a pass on defense. The Athletes looked like the powerhouse they were expected to be in this one as they deconstruct the Reapers, 38-13.

The finale of the day pitted the red-hot New Wave against the veteran led Scoregasms. The New Wave was on point last week against a less competitive opponent, but this week they weren’t quite ready for the former Champs. Perennial MVP candidate, Dan Walkley dominated the first half by himself. He hauled in 2 first half TDs to pair with two INTs. New Wave got a little energy and glimmer of success with 40 seconds left when JJ Lopez picked off which then resulted in a Harmel TD to get their team on the board. Unfortunately for the New Wave, that was the last of their scoring for the day. In no particular order, Tripod and Nano added TDs for the Scoregasms, while Walkley caught his fifth career hat-trick to finish off the scoring. The Scoregasms explode for 38 points and hand New Wave their first loss, 38-7.