Premise of Video: We want all of you to watch what things were like in 1983 when many of you were still a load in your dad’s pants. This is how ESPN rolled in ’83 when Dave Rimington was drafted by the Bengals. The context of the video isn’t important. We’re talking intricacies. The hair. The analysis. A young Chris Berman. The porn music.

Climax of Video: The porn music and that shit brown background.

Conclusion: 27 years later you’ll spend your Thursday night watching Rachel Nichols work it from Rams headquarters. Ed Werder from another. You’ll also watch to see if a single hair moves on Mel Kiper’s head. It’s called evolution, people. Embrace it.