`For The Sake Of The Children'

January 25, 1990|The Morning Call

To the Editor:

The Morning Call recently ran articles on children of divorce. I found these articles to be very good, although they lacked some information that is critical and crucial to the well-being of children suffering from the effects of divorce. Opinions were stated that more visitation should be given to the parent who is no longer living with the child. It was stated that this is for the well-being of the child. I first question the research to back up these opinions. Second, there was not any mention of children who suffer from having a parent who is either physically, verbally or sexually abusive; lacks parenting skills, or is an alcoholic or drug abuser. These issues are extremely detrimental to the well-being of a child and also extremely difficult to prove in a court of law. This is also a good time to point out that we do not have any child abuse laws, only the child welfare system, which, of course, is overworked and underpaid. We do not live in a society where parents behave like the Cleavers or Ozzie and Harriet. I think we need to look much deeper into the issue of the effects of divorce on children.

The transition a child experiences visiting a dysfunctional parent is damaging to a child and also places that child in an extremely uncomfortable situation of trying to accommodate to the dysfunctional parent. A child has a better chance of survival if living with a mentally healthy family. Biological parent does not necessarily mean "responsible parent." Loving families are blending together everywhere and in many cases have much more caring and stability. Let's look further into the issues, please, for the sake of the children.