After months of speculation, the new Doctor has been revealed… and many Dr. Who are unhappy that their favourite body swapping alien has regenerated into… a Jedi.

Long time fan Admiral Motti, who started watching Dr. Who in 1963 and missed the point of the show very soon after, has been seen to confront Jodie Whittaker, who will play the Doctor, with his doubts regarding her acting abilities and general lack of a penis. Whittaker responded “I find your lack of faith… disturbing.”, which seemed to make Motti clam up, and clutch at his throat for some reason.

Addressing Whovians at large, Whittaker said “I want to tell the fans not to fear my new Force abilities.”

Fans should not be concerned by the external re-modelling of the TARDIS either. “I know the blue police telephone box has had its fans”, said Whittaker, “but I think a fully operational space station the size and shape of a small moon will go with my new look more.”

She concluded with the offer to any other dissenting Whovians to show them her new sonic screwdriver, which has been upgraded to feature a lightsaber function. To date, no-one has taken her up on her offer…