You might think this is a joke but as someone taking Psychology in human sexuality... Let's just say I'm 25 and the majority just got out of high school. I want to love that class but everyone is judgemental and I SWEAR none of them took sex ed. Most of these people didn't know you shouldn't wash the literal inside of a vagina with soap. Seriously people? Some of the classmates even argued that female attention DOES equal wanting the D. At least the females in the class know who to stay away from. I fucking swear, am I in college or middle school?

This is why you always causally ask if she has a boyfriend during the conversation. Near the beginning, like you are looking for topics to chat about. Not because you want to plow her, but because you want to provide her with stimulating conversation.

And once you get good at this you realize it's no crime to just outright ask a girl once she shows interest. If she has a boyfriend then you don't feel like an ass. If she does not then she knows how confident you are.

This. I always slip in questions that will lead to a boyfriend reveal. It can be tricky to do organically, but it's usually not too hard at a party. If she's taken, I continue the convo long enough to make it seem like I'm just being a social butterfly, then move on (this is especially easy if the boyfriend is nearby and comes over to introduce himself; then you can focus a little more on the guy to appear even more disinterested).

My two best friends are guys (not friend zoned, no one is interested) and after hearing them bitch about this sort of thing, I've learned to mention my husband casually at the beginning of the conversation, just to put it out there. I'd say it's about 50-50 where the guy will quickly move on vs staying and having a genuine conversation with me.

EDIT: Just to clarify, I do wear a wedding ring on my finger. Some guys just either miss it or just don't care, I guess.

I've noticed most nice girls do this (drop in the "boyfriend" or "husband" in conversation). Sometimes it's a little frustrating as it can feel like being shot down before you've even tried, but honestly, I just appreciate that they're being up front.

I was at a bar with some friends sitting in a corner playing pacman and a guy came to talk to me. I had a wedding ring and I was trying to be polite. He maybe invested 5 minutes of talking to me when I said I was married he freaking yelled at me. Dudes can be crazy with this shit.

One night a few girlfriends and I went out to celebrate one of my friends birthdays. My boyfriend was not there. I was standing at the bar and some guy asked me if I wanted a drink. I simply said "No thank you" and smiled. He YELLS from 10ft away, "What, do you have a fucking boyfriend?" I just looked there stunned and said "Yes" quietly. The guy stares at me and said "Fuck you then".

For sure, I can get that. I've honestly been on the other side of that as well. I wasn't afraid to approach a guy who I was interested in (it's actually how me and hubby started dating), and it was frustrating to find out that someone had a gf. It's kind of the lesser of two evils, but putting myself in the other person's shoes, I always would have chosen to know up front rather than find out much later.

A lot of women do this to me when I am just trying to strike up a conversation. It happened at a big art show last month. Usually I have a date with me as well so I had no intentions and it sometimes gets awkward after a stranger says "I have a husband". That's great, I have an ice cream maker, now can you tell me more about this monster make-up you were applying to everyone's face? I really wanted to be a zombie

But 'i have a husband' isn't mentioning it casually, and yeah it's a bit much, that would make it awkward.

Something like "My husband is into art too" is a lot better

edit: i'm not AT ALL saying it's easy to do this and get it right (i'm male btw, just trying to be empathetic), just that there's better and worse ways you can give the 'boyfriend off' without making it weird.

What's awkward about it? I think that's a pretty reasonable thing to say, especially given that we live in a world where a lot of guys only talk to girls to hook up with them. If the guy wants to keep talking, great, if not, hey I weeded out a horndog.

A lot of the times this is why the boyfriend reveal doesn't happen. Unless a guy is super forward or something it can be hard to tell if he's actually interested in you or just a friendly/social person. If you mention a boyfriend inorganically you run the risk of getting a response like "umm okay, that's great, I'm getting married in May" and embarrassing yourself.

Hej, you know what, I think it is NOT the responsibility of a woman or a girl to update the seemingly interested male about her fuckability.

If I am hitting on you, I am doing it at my own risk of being rejected. If I approach you with a conversation, you have every right to assume it is nothing but a conversation. And I have the right to pretend the same, even if it is not true.

You're saying this to give the impression that women should entertain interested men, and it's your desire to see that happen because you believe that women are more likely to give you what you want if you have more chance to court them.

It's everyone's responsibility to inform interested parties of their current relationships.

I can understand that. Some women just don't have any tact in that situation. I usually try to just slip it into the conversation, like 'oh yeah, my husband loved that movie' or something like that. It's really hard to judge sometimes though, what the guys intentions are, whether they're like you and just trying to chat, or if they're looking for something else. Most of the times, I honestly don't know, but then again, I can be pretty oblivious. It can be frustrating on both sides of the table, for sure.

I still think (as a guy) that a woman has the right to assume that the chat being held is nothing but a conversation. You can do it, if you want to weed out the guy that are hitting on you, but you don't have to. They should stop bitching about getting rejected.

I find that "Are you single?" works a lot better than variations of "Do you have a boyfriend?". It's subtle, but asking if she's single frames as if it's the positive choice, making it less likely she blows you off with the boyfriend card if she's actually single. If she does have a boyfriend it's a lot less awkward since the boyfriend is never mentioned in the conversation.

It should also be pointed out that if you've been "flirting" with a girl all night long, and still don't manage to get the boyfriend question in there somewhere, it's likely you're being too passive and she doesn't even consider it flirting.

Sometimes it's really hard to tell if guys are hitting on your or just talking to you. I remember once a guy offered to walk me home, and I said "well, I have a boyfriend," and he just made me feel bad saying he wasn't hitting on me and was just trying to be nice (which he probably was, I just wanted to be clear). So I find myself not saying I have a boyfriend until it becomes really obvious that I'm being hit on, which can lead to awkward situations. When I realize early enough, I always try to bring it up organically, but it often doesn't even cross my mind that I'm being hit on until it's sort of awkward to bring it up organically or otherwise.

I don't understand why you guys feel like you have to tip toe around the boyfriend question. Just ask her straight out right away. Why not? If I'm having a conversation with a girl I'm interested in I ask within the first 5-10 minutes whether she is married or has a boyfriend. Nothing subtle about it. If she asks "why" I say "I don't want him to come kick my ass for talking to you" or "I don't want to say something that might offend you, etc..."

You reddit dorks need to realize that there's nothing wrong with showing a girl that you're interested in her. You just have to do it in a way that's not creepy or overbearing or stalkerish. you have to to basically let her think "yeah I might be interested in you, but if you're not game, I can leave and feel nothing."

The number of times in my life where later that night or the next day a female friend would say "That girl was totally flirting with you, you know." to which I would just exclaim "WHY DOES NOBODY TELL ME THESE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE HAPPENING?" is so high, I wonder if for every time I did not notice alleged flirting, some other guy is assuming flirting where it does not exist. I might feel better knowing I was bringing some sort of balance to the universe.

I like to just tell them early on, that way the douchebags who are only talking to me to get in my pants will leave right away, and I can spend the rest of my evening having pleasant conversations with friendly guys who want to get to know more about me than my bra size.

OMG. I always get accused of flirting with men who are taken. If what I perceive as being friendly is flirting, then I flirt with everyone (regardless of age, sex, or attractiveness) that I don't hate.

A lot of girls do this for attention. It's "safe" for them to flirt because they know it's not gonna go anywhere, they get their fun, they get to feel attractive, and you get nothing.

However, be aware that sometimes they're really just being social. Be especially careful if you're drinking, 'cause you might have trouble telling the difference between a girl finding you fun and non-threatening enough to talk to, and a girl trying to wrap your meat in her fleshflaps.

This happened last weekend, and my friend was wearing a full leotard because he was dressed as a cat so you could clearly see his junk...

He was dancing at a bar with some girl who looked like she was into him. After about an hour or so of dancing he looks at her in his drunken state and says, "You can touch my penis if you want." She kindly responded with , "uh... no... thanks." and walked away. He had to be reminded the next morning what he said.

It depends on the person. Some people don't get much attention or hit on much so they take flirting as "this will lead somewhere." Other people who are more social see flirting as just fun conversation.

Maybe I'm too old and comfortable in my marriage, but I love having a sassy conversation with a guy friend or friendly stranger. I always make it known that I have a husband (if the wedding and engagement rings don't tip the dude off). It's just fun to be clever and interact with new people.

I'm a naturally flirty person (guy) and I've had people call me out on it before. I don't even notice half the time, and I'm not going out of my way to do it, it just sort of happens that way. So personally, I think that unless you're going out of your way to flirt just to do it, then it can be a problem.

I agree, girls (and guys) do this for fun. And I'm all for being social. When I've been in relationships I've made friends with girls and will continue to do so, however, leading someone on and having them believe that there is something there is not what I'm about. That annoys me.

Or maybe girls just want to talk and be friendly to the people around them, girl or guy. I usually mention my fiance after a few minutes, just in case (which is apparently a girl's responsibility anyway? ಠ_ಠ), but then all of a sudden, guys start to dip out of the conversation and ignores me.

There's only a thin line between them. For one person, touching while talking can be flirty, to another person it's just a part of casual communication. You can't expect everyone to have exactly the same "rules" of communication that you do.

I would say because in most parties you see talk with a ton of people that you most likely will never see again, or even remember. If you are single, drunk and surrounded by attractive people of the chosen sex then you most likely want to hook up. If you do not flirt at all, and just have a normal conversation then most guys can take a hint. The issue is when a girl flirts with a guy, talking about sex, or the sort then the guy thinks "sweet im going to score". And suddenly saying "oh cool my boyfriend is off work and is coming over now" is just the worst feeling.

This really sucks if say there were more women than men at the party and you know that you may have had a chance with someone else if you didn't spend the last 3 hours flirting with the girl. This can also happen for girls, I am speaking from a male point of view.

I know how this goes. It happens to me all the time. I'm a really out-going person who likes to smile, but I make a note to mention my husband (in case you weren't paying attention to the ring) just to be a on the safe side and the guy disappears.

I wasn't trying to flirt with you. I wasn't trying to be your bff. I just wanted to talk to someone at the party. That's all. Because that's what you do at parties, you meet people.

This really bothers me when the guy starts the conversation. I'm sorry for thinking you might actually be interested in me as a person.

If we do say something, we're bitches for assuming you want to hook-up. If we don't say something, we're bitches for leading you on. If we enjoy talking to you, we're bitches for friend zoning you. If we want to date you, we're bitches for being an OAG.

the misogyny in here is... astounding. and the worst part? the girls see it and are forced to shut up about it because everytime they say something like "why should I HAVE to mention I have a boyfriend when I just wanted a friend to talk to at a party?!" they get downvoted to hell.

and the guys? rarely, if ever, see it. It's apparently our responsibility to let every guy off the bat know that we are spoken for or else we're evil wile bitches leading them on.

I was out of town playing with my band and after the show I got to talk with this pretty (drunk) girl. The place was about to close down and we got a taxi and was on our way to her place for some after partying.

In the car she got a phone call and picked it up saying "Hey baby".
I was thinking, how the fuck do i get out of this?

By now she was shitfaced deluxe. I didn't know what to expect but i walked into the apartment to find her shaved head, tattooed, gang-member boyfriend. (He had his gang shirt on.)

There's a very long version to this story, but somehow i got away safe.

Why doesn't OP save both parties some time and just go find a hooker instead of going to these gatherings for sex? Seriously if this happens to you even a significant minority of the time, then you probably have been picking up on "signals" that are not there.

ITT: Way too many butthurt guys, and way too many women/white knights thinking that a man being interested means they only want sex, and they want it right off the bat.

I do dislike when someone is flirting and dancing and does this. It happens, but only occasionally, not every time. Unless we had some type of understanding, I wouldn't go out to clubs/parties and dance with people if I were in a relationship, but all relationships are different.

This just happened last night haha! Cute girl was really flirtatious so of course I'm going to follow through. So I get her number and she wants mine. Fine. So I sit down and her boyfriend walks in. She jumps on him and yeah. So she sits beside me on my right and her BF is on hers. She's kissing him as she's rubbing my inner thigh. WTF.
TLDR; Cute girl hand on me while kissing her BF.

My wife is a very flirtatious person and it is towards everybody. Guys and girls, young and old. Guys always take it the wrong way and that is not her fault. She is kind person why cares about everyone.

If she hangs out with you more than once she will lay it out there that she is a flirtatious person but dont takr it the wrong way, she isnt interested. These morons will still try shit even though i am sitting there and they know she is my wife and the mother of my children.

Edit: My wife talks about me constantly and when a guy does hit on her or try and make a move she will remind them that hse is happily married and most of the time their response is "So!".
Guys need to understand that someone being nice to you or flirtatiou doesnt mean they want to have sex with you.

Oh come on, stop this all redditors are horny hurr durrs who assume too much. A lot of people actually do this, because it gets boring in a relationship sometimes. It's just really unfair for the single people.

If you're a guy and just trying to hit on women, a good rule of thumb would be to find out if the girl you're hitting on is in a relationship. Of course, depending on the girl/guy, that could be irrelevant.

Alternatively, if you're a meme-artist, it's best to see scumbag stephanie(?) as your muse and thank her for showing you such pain that results in a frontpage masterpiece. :thoughfully strokes neckbeard:

Conversely, I've told guys that I have a boyfriend and they still demand to buy me a drink. It's strange, but if you want to drop $15 on a stranger's drink with an assurance of no sex, I will not try to stop you. I'm sure a lot of them are betting that I'm a cheater, but those lot are sorely disappointed.

Most of the guys who do this follow-up by asking for tips on who else to hit on in the bar, and it usually turns into a humorous conversation.

I am here to educate all of you young incognizant males. A woman talking with you for an extended period during a party does not imply that she is flirting with you. Even though to your still adolescent mind the only reason you would ever spend a considerable period of time talking with a female is to promote your own need to procreate, this is not true for many females in your age group (this is getting rarer with your generation). Females do not have such a myopic perspective in life. The female may actually be trying to communicate on a completely human level devoid of such primal urges to procreate. Accept this and enjoy your young life much more than you will otherwise.

Define flirting. Is smiling considered flirting? Laughing? Talking or listening?

See, I do these things when I interact with people because, as per the definition of interaction, these things are going to happen.

This isn't flirting. And, if you think about it, everyone's idea of flirting is different. So, the best way to prevent butthurt neckbeard rage is to just assume that, unless someone comes right out and says "dick me, baby," they're merely interacting, and not flirting.

I would like to say congratulations to Magnets_and_Ghouls. Reddit has awarded you as the 2012 "this chick is hot in her Halloween costume! Lets turn her into a meme" award. Enjoy your 15 minutes, free beers at bars, photo ops, and dick pics in your inbox. It was a tough race, but you've one. Congrats! Btw, dick pick PM'd.

This is why you never talk to a female with the intention of it ever going anywhere further than a conversation and maybe friendship. I see my girlfriend talking to guys all of the time at parties or at the bar (guys she knows through mutual friends or guys that come up to her) because she's a very sweet person and is somewhat naive. I can tell they get kind of pissed when she comes back over to me and displays affection. It's a great boost to my own confidence, but I kind of empathize with them, as I've been there.

Women don't owe you sex, even if they flirt with you. Surprise! Flirting can be pretty damn innocuous, truthfully. Like,really truly, or have you never gone to a diner with people over 40? It's like, all they do, and yet I promise you that said waitress doesn't plan on bedding your haggard old dad. Fact.