Whew. I have so been there. As much as it totally and completely sucks....there is nothing you can do that will change it. Which makes it suck all the more. Having gone through it, with my dad, I will offer up what I learned in the process. Don't hold anything back. Say everything that is on your heart. Laugh with him. Don't be afraid to cry in front of him. You are so fortunate that you are being given a chance to say goodbye - so many aren't given that opportunity. This was the toughest thing I ever went through in my entire life, but there is such a peace that comes with knowing that it was real. Don't ever stop talking to him. I absolutely cannot gush about Hospice enough - they are truly angels on Earth, and are so respectful of the patients and their families. They allow our loved ones to leave with their dignity intact.....and what more could anyone want?? I would give anything to have not gone through it myself, but yet, I have such a peace and calmness about it as well. Hugs to you, and prayers for you, as well as for your precious dad and the rest of your family.

So sorry. I can't express it right. Just know that I lost my sister last month to melanoma, and my mother-in-law was diagnosed this month with bladder cancer which is already in her lungs and other places in her abdomen. She's in near constant excruciating pain and can't tolerate narcotics. Only treatment is chemo, which will reduce the pain, but doc doesn't think she's strong enough to handle it. She has an appt on Tuesday. I know it won't go well. It can't. And I'm so sad.

So sorry to hear this and wishing you peace. I think it was on Rebecca Woolf's blog just the other day, where she wrote that her son believes that "when people die, they immediately become babies in someone's tummy" -- I never really thought of life that way but think it's such a beautiful sentiment... and just maybe, even in some small way, it is true.

Oh Amalah and Familah - I am so so sorry. I have read this blog for 5 whole years and never commented until today. THIS is when I delurk to say that I am praying for all of you. I will work on imagining all of you surrounded by love and light and angels to comfort you. Peace ...

Oh Amalah and Familah - I am so so sorry. I have read this blog for 5 whole years and never commented until today. THIS is when I delurk to say that I am praying for all of you. I will work on imagining all of you surrounded by love and light and angels to comfort you. Peace ...

I don't know what to hope for here. We knew in the July that my sister was terminal, no more to be done. She was determined to hold out for her birthday in September so she could have a wake instead of a birthday party. The Friday before the big day she slipped into a coma but actually lived until the afternoon of her birthday on the Sunday when she quietly just stopped.... Maybe just hope your lovely Dad slips away comfortably whenever the time comes and if the baby has come first then that will be a bonus.

I'm so sorry Amy. This is so... awful, unfair, horrible.... bullshit. Sending you peace and love and prayers for a brighter tomorrow. You and your family are so loved, and I hope that brings all of you some comfort.

Oh Amy, I am so sorry. Your dad is a fighter. I betcha beans that he will fight until that new baby boy makes it into this world... I know that doesn't mean a thing coming from some random stranger off the internet, but I've been in my business for long enough and seen it enough....

Dear, dear Amy: one day when you're not reeling so badly and it's not so late I will tell you how, on one of the absolute suckiest days of my life, I did a random Google search and you were the second hit (props for that, btw) and on subsequent nearly-as-sucky-but-not-quite days i read your archives all the way back to the Haiku Smackdown days and now can always count on you for a laugh and my days are a bit brighter because you, random Internet person, are funny and smart and geeky and hippie enough to keep me wishing I knew you for real.

But tonight i want to remind you of the book The Voyager of the Dawn Treade, when the ship runs into the fog, and the man they pick up out of the water tells them to run for their lives, because they have run into the Island of Dreams. The crew panics and all is lost. And Lucy puts her head down on the railing of the ship and says "Aslan, we need you." and all she gets back is "courage, dear heart" and a whiff of warm air. And they are still lost, and things are still awful, but Lucy feels the tiniest bit better.

Courage, dear, brave Amy. Things are awful. But please know that there are those of us random internet people who hold you dear. Some of us have lost beloved parents, some have had to face violent spouses, not unlike your water-noodle-bearing-swim-instructor. We dont know your pain, but we feel it with you, because we have felt our own. We will pull for you and cheer for you and grieve with you.

Courage, dear heart. There may not be a way OUT, but there is always a way THROUGH. One day at a time. And when that may seem too hard, one breath at a time.

Shit. WTF? What is the universe trying to say? Cause it could just say it instead of making it so fucking HARD!

Ugh, I'm sorry that you're going through what you are right now. I'm not a platitudes and happy unicorns person so I'm just gonna say the timing sucks.

Also, I'm not a big believer in the Christian afterlife idea, but I do believe that there is a transfer of energy for all of us and that your dad and unborn son share a powerful energy regardless of what happens when.

I love you and your family, Amy. Your blog is by far my favorite on the internet and I am just so sorry you and your family are going through this. I wish I could do more, but I am praying for you. HUGS

Amy,
So many of us love to read your words every day. We feel like we know you! I am so, so sorry to hear this. I, along with a LOT of others, am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Shit damn fuck. Would make things easier if I could. Hate so much that you're going through this. I'm sure you watched The Lion King and GotItALready. Didn' fucking need the live version of the whole Circle of Life thing. Just really sorry.

I'm so sorry, Amy. My father passed away unexpectedly a few months before my first child was born. It's definitely a great loss and we work hard to keep his memory alive in the whole family. I'll be thinking of your family and your parents in the days to come.

We went though this in the summer of 09 when my mother in law (and one of my best friends) was given about 10 weeks to live when it became apparent ovarian cancer was going to win. I was due in 3 months. She made it longer than they thought, but missed my daughter by 2 days. My husband said she must have wanted a closer seat, and while that doesn't necessarily align with our beliefs- it felt right.

The one thing we did that I think helped some, was doing the 3D ultrasound and bringing a copy over for her to watch. She got to see my daughter (who ended up sharing a name she loved) and we got to share some of that moment with her. I know it doesn't fix it. I know it doesn't take away all the worries about timing and what ifs, but if for some reason he doesn't make it, it's something small to hold onto.
Hugs.

I just wanted to say thank you to you. For continuing to update us when I know this must be so, so hard for you. I have nothing else to say, nothing will make this time any better for you. You're in my thoughts. x

I lost my father a month ago. He had a stroke at 57, completely unexpectedly. We are still in so much shock. So much sadness, so much anger, so much unfinished business. It's for my 3 boys that I am most angry. He was a wonderful grandfather and only the oldest at 6 will really remember him.
I am so sorry for your families suffering. And that the loss is l for your 3 beautiful boys. even they won't really know what they are missing, you will.

Babies come early (not too early! )and your dad has shown remarkable strength of will. It would not surprise me at all if these two meet. It's hard, it's always hard, and you have lots of peope thinking of you and wishing you and your dad strength.