Lessons learned from working with a beautiful woman.

i was grabbing a coke zero for my shift when the kid in line in front of the counter noticed me, stands up (he was leaning on his elbows), and says, “well, i guess 45 minutes of your time is more than enough from me to waste.” he exits the store, i’m shaking my head. the girl behind the counter is a cute black girl. we know each other but aren’t friends. she smiled at me, and said hello as i put my coke on the counter. i state, “and the fact that you had to POINT OUT that you were wasting her time speaks volumes about your manhood little-shaver.” she giggles and nods. i asked her how long he had been there, and she told me 10 about minutes. “did he ever ask for your phone number or if you were single?” she shook her no. “were you attracted to him?” again she said no.

this reminds me of So-so.

when i first got out here, i was immediately put into training for a secondary modality. 3 months later i was placed on a 7:30pm-7:30am night shift. i like working nights, seriously. well, my coworker was the very lovely So-so (my nickname for her). so is Cambodian, amazingly beautiful, and sports an epic rack. EPIC. did i mention she’s asian? EVERYONE knows who So-so is, and she’s fawned over by 98% of the men she comes in contact with. i worked side by side with her for over a year (actually, i was her supervisor). now some things you need to know about her before i proceed.

she’s VERY traditional in her Asian-ness. i learned A LOT about that in my tenure with her. she will not walk in front of me (b/c i’m older), if we’re eating together she won’t start eating until i eat (same reason). it took me a while to get used to it. after some time, these rules loosened up a bit. now, she’s like my sister. i love her to death, honestly. she’s VERY independent and guarded about herself….more so of her family. she DOES NOT talk about her family with ANYONE outside her family. well, her family considers me an extended member….and i’m very honored by that. i actually got to meet her younger sister (also a hottie). there’s little i don’t know about her personal life. she doesn’t share everything, but she’s open about many things with me. is she’s upset, she RARELY shows it. she’s very demure, quiet, very intelligent, has a BLACK sense of humor (another reason i lubs her), and she’s very driven. and like i said, she’s fucking beautiful. face-8, body-9, perssonality-9.5.

on a routine night no less than 5 guys would approach her and chat her up. and i mean chat her up for 10-15-20 minutes. in most cases, they just prattle on and on hardly giving her a chance to talk. she’d sit up straight, smile, and give brief answers to the questions they’d field her way. eventually, they’d move on. this happened ALL THE TIME. not ONCE did a guy ask her for her number. she’d usually casually let slip her having a dude………but the guys would proceed undeterred *sigh*. smh. and they ALWAYS kept the conversation focus squarely on her. not ever once looking my way. never…..NOT ONCE did ANY man ever build attraction in her……until finally ONE man got it right. So-so finally had a man talk to her that managed to build attraction . JUST one.

on one occasion, i had to pull rank on a kid that worked in the ICU who used to come to my dept, ask her to go into the hallway, and he’d talk to her for 15-20 minutes. once i noticed she was getting bothered by it….i stepped in and devil-dogged him in private.

based on what i described, who in the class can tell me WHY 99% of the guys failed to turn So-so’s head? badger, Pm, Yo, Ds…..i want no answer from you at first. besides, i’m sure you already know. i’d be interested in hear the ladies perspective on this as well.

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she didn’t give me her number…and i kinda like it.

2 nights ago i was at the local (i work late hours and stop in for a beer after work) and a very attractive brunette came in and sat next to me. i don’t like the single number rating system, i prefer the way they rate ladies on the movie “Beautiful Girls”. it’s a 1-10 number for: face, body, personality (more on this later). i’ve lived in my area for well over a year and in my experience, you NEVER see girls out alone or without a group of guys there. so when she sat next to me, i didn’t really think much of it, i figured the bf would show up in a second.

“are they still serving?” she asked. i smiled and told her that last call is at 1:30am. she thanked me and i went back to watching ESPN. for the life of me i can’t remember what happened next, but she initiated a conversation with me. we talked for about 30-45 minutes. i’d like to tell you i was some smooth talking sonuvbitch, but i wasn’t. i was just my normal old self. i made her laugh, and teased her about being a packers fan. we talked about football, new orleans, food, and our mutual dislike of the city we live in. i finally worked in an indirect mention of a boyfriend and she winced. yes, she does have a bf. i won’t go into any personal stuff about her since we talked about the manosphere. and she knows i blog. we talked manosphere because she has experience with “beta” behavior. when i mentioned not caving in to a woman’s every need and waiting on her hand and foot she gave me a wide eyed ”YEEEEEES!!!! EXACTLY”. when i told her about the manosphere she excitedly mentioned going home to google it. am i worried she’ll find my blog? nope. i hope she does. she’d be another Bb, stephanie, or Lily as far as i’m concerned. interestingly enough, i told her about the “experiment” i did on lyssia, where she had to list all the qualities she needed in a man. when i told her i only had 6 qualities out of the 14 she listed, she laughed and said, “that’s too funny.” i don’t recall her exact reply, but she thought the experiment proved a good point.

i mentioned that she probably should spend some time being single for a while and she nodded that that might be a good idea. i ended up asking for her number anyway (why the hell not). and she said, “that’s probably not a good idea, but now that i know that you’re always here…..i know just where to find you.” as a matter of fact, she said this more than once. to be honest, i’m glad she didn’t give me her number. it show’s me she loyal enough to not stray in a relationship. i respect that. but, i’m pretty sure i’d have gotten the number if she were a single lass.

i realize some of you might be thinking i could have gotten her number, but that’s some PUA shit. i wasn’t looking to ONS her. i’m shooting for a LTR. so when she said no, i didn’t push her for it. but i did tease her that i couldn’t let her in on the restaurant’s “secret” if i didn’t get her number, and she laughed.

what i noticed from the talk we had: i KNOW she was attracted to me, by the time we were about 15-20 minutes into the conversation, she was completely facing me, and leaning in slightly. she didn’t play with her hair (pony tail), but when i touched her the 2-3 times i did she acted like nothing happened. she touched her face a few times, she kept her chin low and kept her head slightly sideways exposing her neck, she smiled and laughed frequently (i have 2 black belts at making people laugh) and it was apparent she was VERY comfortable with me. she is 27, dark brown hair, big-(and very pretty) dark brown eyes, 5’6″, looked about 115 lbs, face-7.5, body-8, personality 9.5, no kids (WoOOT!!!!). like i said, she was a really cool girl. also…i made ZERO mention of her looks, and the conversation was 50-50.

They didn’t escalate. They showed up, talked about whatever came into their heads without bothering to see if she was interested, and didn’t steer the conversation in any particular direction (let alone an interesting or sexual direction). Frankly, once you’re doing it that badly, it doesn’t matter if she gets input or not, you’re boring and you’re never going to get around to asking up her number – too busy working up the guts to actually perform.

I want to know how you devil-dogged those puds. Fuck all this getting girls stuff…true ass chewing – now that’s an art worth studying.

My guess is she was pissed because these dudes were pulling her away from work and possibly making her look bad. Women who are professional and take their jobs seriously often resent having their time wasted by blathering dudes.

she didn’t mind talking with them. but she KNEW they were there b/c they liked her. but none of the guys sacked up and asked her out. not that she wanted to, but she’d have taken as a compliment and she’s have respected his boldness.

she’s one of those girls that CAN NOT STAND a passive dude. she melts around bossy, arrogant (looking at you Bb), dominant men.

Bro- you know the drill. I pulled him aside, stood about 6 on inches in front of him and pushed my side leaning hand into his sternum (you know how it goes Devil Dog).

“Do you have any official reason for pulling HM2 ****** aside.” When he said no I informed him that she was on duty and not available for socializing and if he persisted, a charge sheet would be filed.

That’s the stuff you’re going to miss out here in the real world. There are a shitload of good managers – people who use the available time and talent like a precision instrument to accomplish amazing things.

Leadership, though – true Leadership like you exhibited for your troop – that rare and precious quality is almost non-existent. I’d compliment you, but it’s mildly offensive to compliment an NCO (or Officer, for that matter) just for doing his job.

I’ve seen Leadership out here about as many times as I’ve seen hot, independently wealthy women who lack teeth, own chains of liquor stores, and also desperately want to come into contact with my genetic material.

You can play devil-dogging Bingo with the following phrases:

“Well, I dunno WHY we all of a sudden think that…”

“I know this shit’s a foreign concept to you shitbirds, so I’ll talk real slow..”

“Oh! Very well! Private Schmuckatelli went and decided that…”

“Listen here, gents…”

“Grabasstic”

“I must have gone temporarily goddamn insane. That’s the only fucking explanation for…”

“Any fucking day now/While we’re young…”

“How about I get just get the fucking CO over here, and have him ask you real nice-like and all pretty-please and shit to ..”

Not in the military, but I thought I’d mention that I’ll be using a couple of those in day to day life. Especially “fumblefucking” and “I know this shit’s a foreign concept to you shitbirds, so I’ll talk real slow…”

yeah, you Devil-Dog’s are a fun bunch to tool around with. whenever i’m shooting on a marine, and they mention if i’m having a good day, my response is usually, “KILL!!!!” they laugh anfd give me a hearty “ohh-rah doc.” lol.
“I’d compliment you, but it’s mildly offensive to compliment an NCO (or Officer, for that matter) just for doing his job.”

some of my favorites:
“did someone throw a fuck-up grenade in here.
“you look like a bag of smashed assholes.” (regarding a sloppy uniform.
“you do realize you’re half a chromosome shy of qualifying for handicapped parking”
“shipmate shipmate, why are you such a pice of shi-shi-shi-shi-SHIT!!!!

mary-
me and Ds could post these little colorful remarks ALL DAY!!!! lol.

anyone who’s spent any amount of time on the manosphere knows: women OWN social dynamics. they do. what 99% of the guys failed to do (and killed their chance by annoying So-so) was FAILING TO INCLUDE ME in the disussion. most of the guys didn’t even acknoweldge my presence. this REALLY got under her skin. anytime a woman is in the company of others (male or female) the gruop is a singular entity and all must be made a part of the interaction. they didn’t have to ask me questions and be chatty with me, just be polite….greet me, and go about chatting up So-so.

this is what i’ve learned about chatting up cashiers and women behind a counter.

1. open and try and make her laugh/smile. i mean let’s face it….she’s not going anywhere, SHE CAN’T. lol. but realize it’s her JOB to be polite, so you HAVE to……
2. escalate within 2-3 minutes (i usually compliment her laugh…then remark that her bf is lucky). if she’s single i immediately metion i need to run, and tell her i want to talk with her some other time and that i’d like to call her. if she doesn’t give the number simply move on. be polite and punch out.
3. if you haven’t asked for a number within 5 minutes…..and trust me, most women KNOW you’re hitting on them, you’re NOT getting her number. a 15 minute conversatation does nothing but solidify “he’s nice” in a woman. and most women are flattered when you ask for a number…..it’s validation for them. just don’t be a cad or come across as a jerk.
4. be bold, flirt, make her laugh, make a move. as long as you aren’t a dick, a woman will usually appreciate the compliment you’ve given her by having some balls, making yourself vunerable, and letting her know you find her attractive.

Bob was pretty spot on (as most commenters were), but the key failure on the guys was ignoring me.

i mentioned this post to So-so, and when i mentioned the one guy a HUGE smile came across her face. “OOOOOOH YEAH!! i remember him (we haven’t work that shift for months btw). and she agreed, no other guy EVER turned her head, except that one man. and all he did was engage the 2 of us, and tease So-so lightly. he knew she had a bf, but that’s irrelevant to attraction. she’d NEVER screw around on her dude, but it doesn’t mean she’s dead. she LOVES men. and she DEFINATELY liked that one man for reminding her she was a beautiful woman (and doing it the RIGHT way i might add).

On 2 occasions I noticed she was uncomfortable around guy that was talking to her. Once I noticed it, I asked her when we were alone if dude making her uncomfy. when she said she was I told her split after 2-3 minutes next time dude came by.

Sure enough, dude stops by….she bailed and I let the guy know she’s at work, and he needs to quit loitering around my dept.

They never came back. After she learned I had addressed it, she said quietly, “thank you Danny”. The guy was a civilian. Other cat was active and beneath me and rank and I got in that kids ass. It was mild, but he got the message.

She’s too polite to say something, she doesn’t want to be rude. But guess what don’t gives a fuck about being rude? Lol.

Group interactions are tough but starting to come to me, with the right “game everyone” frame. It’s amazing how this yields unexpected results. So, teacher Danny, please grade me:

Wife wants ice-cream, so I head out to the local DQ to get 2 cones. I pull up, and notice 4 people in front of me: soccer mom, schlubby guy, middle-schooler boy, and a blonde in a tank-top. She makes eye contact for one second as I walk up.

The store closes in about 10 minutes. Even though it’s obviously open, I say loudly to nobody in particular, faux-worriedly, “Oooh, did I make it in time?”. Soccer mom bites, laughs and says “Yes, you did. Good timing!” The guys ignore me.

Me, with faux-relief: “Oh, whew! Each time they see me coming, they slam the window shut” and I pantomime the door being shut. Titters from soccer mom.

[[The faux-emotion delivery is probably one of the most fun things I’ve discovered. Remember, I’m a total literal thinker and communication, and talking in this style is sort of like swimming on an alien planet.]]

So I wait in line, pondering my selection. Soccer mom and guy leave as a pair.

I order my two cones. I try to engage the counter girl a bit. “I want a small twist with cherry dip, and a small twist with chocolate.” “Cone or Cup?” “Uh, you ask the hard questions don’t you? Oh, I know! Both. I have problem trying to carry two cones home. That will do nicely.” She smiles a little but really isn’t engaged. Yeah, it’s wordy, but the point is just to cut the boredom hanging in the air.

Then the kid leaves, turns out the blonde was alone. There are people behind us, though.

Our orders both come up at the same time. Hers is put into one of those cardboard cup-holders. I point at it, and say “Oh! THAT’S what I need. One of those, uh, thingies.” I wiggle my finger at it.

At this point, the blonde outright cracks up at this — quite possibly the dumbest non-joke ever. She smiles, and looks at me like I’m Denis Leary. I forget what I said after this, but it was something like “You really know how to handle your ice-cream, enjoy it” and walked off.

The words seem outright stupid when you read them on the screen, but having an amused/positive frame got a few people smiling and responding.

well if you made people comfortable and they smiled, A. if YOU felt happy with the outcome AA+.

if it were me, i’d have tried to make a second eye contact with the blonde. if i got it, i have no idea what i’d have said. probably something about copying my order and would have mentioned something about her stalking me. if she bit and replied, i’d have escalted with telling her to give me her number, she can’t stalk me if we’re on the phone.

i don’t know. my thought process isn’t in your situation so it’s hard for me to speculate. but it seems like you got positive responses, and you enjoyed the moment, so that’s all that really matters.

I got to this post from your “Best of” link. That exercise was a lot of fun and offered great info. I’m not surprised you have more traffic from the fairer sex… You seem to have a very positive, respectful and appreciative attitude about women. I enjoy your stuff.

aaaah, i see. well thank you. i hope you enjoy what you read? just please realize that compared to most of the other bloggers, i’m a GED holding troglodyte you’d probably avoid if we passed in Wal-Mart. jus’ sayin’. lol.

Troglodyte? That’s funny, I was under the impression that you were a charming, world traveled career sailor (yet still tough enough to kick it with The Marines) and quite talented writer.

All the education and good looks in the world can’t buy the talent required to string together words in a sensible and interesting way– and it certainly does NOT guarantee a positive or respectful attitude.

Oh Danny you said I was in for a surprise…of course I know So-so and I can honestly say you are right on the mark in your assessment of her unique qualities and beauty. Without even reading the replies to your challenge I can tell you where these young lads made their mistake. They never acknowledged you as her friend, never acknowledged her statement about her BF and asked about him. In her mind they are only interested in being seen talking to her b/c they obviously weren’t listening to what she was telling them. The way to her would have been through initiating a conversation with you and gauging her interests based on observation. So-so has been a great friend…she did Introduce me to you 🙂