Don’t Know Much About Football, But…

My husband and I are surprisingly on speaking terms after the FSU/Florida game last night. I myself am not too happy with the outcome but Caleb’s flying high. I wish he hadn’t secretly trained my child to scream "Go Gators!". Bad move, Caleb. I’m soooo going to get this next one to come out doing "The Chop".

And an update for those who haven’t already heard:

Thanksgiving: Fantastic. We stayed right here in our house. A good friend and neighbor helped us fry a turkey. Caleb whipped up a few other things to go with it. We spent approximately 4 hours cooking, 5 minutes eating, and 2 hours cleaning up.

Black Friday: Got up at the crack of dawn and drove into town…to hit up the local Urgent Care Clinic. The doctor took one look at my bee bite, which had turned a lovely shade of purple, and gave me a shot in the ass and wrote me a prescription for antibiotics. I had to brave the mob at Target to pick up my medicine at their pharmacy…The good news is that, once I found a parking space and fought my way through the sea of stark-raving-mad shopaholics, my prescription was immediately filled. Apparently I was the only person in the store who was there for pills only. I got a good reminder of why I NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE on the day after Thanksgiving.

Saturday: I sat. I ate. I watched TV and drew funny people with Crayola markers. Caleb built himself a workbench in the garage. Cheyenne went to a friend’s house to play and Mia ran around the living room like a maniac, as usual. Watched the Florida/Florida State game once it FINALLY came on. Good times.

Today: Not a lot planned. My bee bite is looking and feeling better.If I feel brave we might try to knock out the rest of our Christmas shopping. But that’s only if I feel brave.

Tomorrow: My dad is having heart surgery down in Pensacola. It’s his 3rd one in the last few years–I talked to him the other day and he’s said he’s not nervous..but then proceeded to launch into the numerous risks and consequences of the surgery…Damnit Dad, I know you’re the one having it done, but I need the reassurance here. I have a doctor’s appointment, my 15-week whatnot, in the afternoon. I can’t wait to tell her that I neglected to take the appetite-enhancing drugs and instead opted for antibiotics prescribed by someone else…oh, and the flu shot you recommended? Never got it. Here’s the thing: if you’re not going to give me the shot right here, right now, in your office, don’t expect me to go out of my way to have it done. I don’t willingly go looking for shots. And what’s your policy on episiotomies? I heard through the grapevine that this place loves to do them–for the record, when the time comes, don’t you even dare come at me with anything remotely sharp because I swear I will mule-kick you in the mouth. My kid will make it out of there without the assistance of scissors just fine thank you very much.

I opted not to get a flu shot. It’s the only vaccine on the planet that still has thermirasol in it. Mercury, in other words. I decided that I didn’t need to take poison while I was pregnant. I have a kick-ass immune system thanks to five years in the public school system.

My two cents. There isn’t a medical professional out there who would agree with me–I’m just crazy like that.

So, first things first: You’re telling me I was supposed to wait until AFTER Thanksgiving for all the Christmas stuff??? Man, if that’s true I SO flunked it.Vegas was great, I think you should pack yourself in Caleb’s suitcase next time he goes. I suppose I have a lot to update, so I guess I’ll go get started on that rather than mentioning everything here. I hope you’re feeling better by now, and that you’re in Christmas heaven. (Is it odd that when I was little and thought about Heaven it pretty much was the North Pole?)