As he journeys, here's an omnium-gatherum of musings by Lohcifer, a curmudgeon and misanthrope with a tortured soul. Oh, did anyone put a gun to your head and forced you to read this? Lohcifer blogs for himself.

Bored Stiff

Sometimes I feel that all it takes one more conversation with a Singaporean and I’ll go raving mad.

I seriously need to look out for another country to move to.

List of conversational topics that bore me to death:

Properties – Singaporeans talk about this all the time, some even have lots of useful tips to dispense even when you didn’t ask for them.

COE – Come on, don’t like it? Deal with it! You deserve the government you get. No balls to overthrow the government? Then shut the fuck up, kiss ass, eat shit and move on. The majority of us do that.

Investing – Singaporeans talk about stocks and shares all the time. Oh for Pete’s sake, do some real work for a change!

Baking – groan. So auntie. I’ve always had the impression, since I was young, that women who bake are old, unmarried spinsters who wear old men’s underwear underneath their housecoats.

Sex – there’s a guy I know who will talk about nothing but all the girls he has fucked all over the world when he was doing a regional job. Not only is it boring, it’s downright crude and completely unbelievable. Can’t blame him. It appears there’s nothing else in his head. Can’t expect him to discuss Chekhov or Proust with you.

Those stupid, old movies they show on our TV channels – more groan.

Those stupid, local programs they show on our TV – puke, puke.

MBF – casino, celebrity chefs, oh groan, groan, groan.

Unless the entire frigging country gets sent to a social etiquette class, I’m leaving.

I kid you not.

I really can’t stand poor conversationalists.

Imagine an entire country of these retards?

Please! You out there – don’t open your stupid mouth unless you can improve the silence!