2015 has been a huge learning experience from the inside-out. I have learned that I need to stay grounded and be completely present, I should immerse myself in nature, and I could use a wee bit more patience for myself as well as those around me. I feel that I have learned a great deal about myself and last week I went even deeper when I met up with a Shaman to go on a shamanic healing journey. Going deep inside yourself is nothing short of terrifying, at least it was for me. Below is my personal journey and notes verbatim from Shaman Beatrice Pouligny, PHD. Here are the notes I was given by Beatrice Pouligny, PHD from Allowing the Light:

I first find Heather in the dark, trying to hold on things, as the ground seems to be falling apart under her feet. I go in and realize that a powerful river is actually carrying her away. The river seems to be leading to a big waterfall. We can’t see the end of it. I take Heather with me on a raft, just letting the flow carry us. Heather is very tense. I tell her: “I am here, don’t worry, and I am guiding the raft.” She says: “But we are going to fall and we can’t even see where!” At that point, everything stops and we reach an even darker place where there seems to be nothing. Heather runs around, her hands in front of her, trying to find something that she can touch. I tell her: “There is nothing. Just come here and seat with me.” She continues and starts having a tantrum. I let her be while I remain seated, waiting.

The scenery changes. Heather has fallen asleep or lost consciousness and we are lifting her on a rope, up to a higher dimension. My guides are all around, as well as a crowd of little beings made of pure Light. They all look super excited to see somebody new arriving. The little beings are as excited as little kids would be. Once we have reached the highest vibration, Heather wakes up. She asks what that place is. Nobody answers. She asks: “Where am I? Where is my family? I cannot stay here!” and she starts panicking again.

The scene changes again and Heather appears on a cliff above the ocean and then on a beach. She is yelling: “What is that? What is happening?” I say: “It is all illusion, everything is illusion.” She yells: “Get me out of here! I don’t want this, I did not ask for any of this!” I am sitting on the beach, waiting. I say: “Come here, and sit with me.” After a while, she finally comes. As soon as she sits down, everything starts shaking around us as if there was an earthquake. Heather starts panicking again. I say: “Stay.” She says: “How can you be so calm when everything is falling apart? We are falling apart!” I say: “Stay!” As everything keeps shaking, outer layers of Heather are falling. I keep saying: “Stay! Stay!” and then: “Forget! Forget! Now is the time to be forgetting everything you think you know, all the stories.” I see images of her past and her current life. I repeat: “Forget! Forget!”

After a while, everything quiets down. Heather is lying down, exhausted. I let her rest. When she wakes up, I help her up and ask: “Are you ready to come?” She says: “Yes!” We start climbing a hill (symbol of spiritual growth?). I am ahead of her but slightly on the side. I don’t “guide” her per se. She asks: “Where are we going?” I say: “I don’t know. This is your path, not mine. Don’t worry, I am here; I am not going anywhere. But I won’t decide your path for you. Just look around, follow the signs, feel the support all around you.” She looks around her and starts seeing Beings of Light but way smaller than my guides; they are still behaving like very excited little children. She says: “But those are your guides, not mine.” I say: “Look, keep looking.” I see a Native American chief on the side with a wolf at his feet, as well as other people, some of them probably from Heather’s genealogy. I say: “Just feel, in your body. Take your time. Now is the time for you to forget everything you think you know, including about yourself, including about what you have persuaded yourself to be your perfect life for now. Now is the time to forget, so that you can start seeing with other eyes and look at reality differently. The only thing I can tell you is that you are not alone on that path.” She keeps walking, slowly, and I stay a little bit ahead, but on the side of the path, observing, ready to interfere if needed. I look like a monk. I am wearing a long hooded cloak.

As the drums are calling me back, I see Heather ready to start walking on a rope, high above. It is very bright all around her. And all the spiritual guides are still around. She turns her head, looks at me, smiles, and then starts walking towards an open horizon. She can’t see where the rope is ending and I can’t either. That last scene is full of lightness and pure Joy.

This is the end of the journey.

I want everyone to know that I did not see much during the journey. I remember feeling scared initially and then I did see the wolf at one point. The wolf is with me always and I believe he is my spirit guide. This whole experience has kick started my interest in my own genealogy. I will be getting a DNA test done soon to indeed see if I have some Native American in my blood. I am drawn to Native American jewelry and have worn turquoise for as long as I can remember. The picture above is an old piece I recently received from a very dear friend. She has no idea where it came from, but she thought I should have it. The cuff has many symbols stamped on it including: arrows for protection, crossed arrows for friendship, feathers for a connection with the heavens, and a thunder bird spirit for help on shamanic journeys. You are waiting for the vulture tidbit aren't you?

Driving home from Waterford, VA last week we passed an old graveyard. Perched on
nearly every grave(this is not a joke) was a vulture. Large numbers of vultures everywhere as far as the eyes can see. When I looked up Native American symbolism for vultures, it was a sign of patience. Patience it shall be. Thank you for being here.

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