Love and Relationships: Is there such thing as too much compromise?

Welcome back! Now that second semester is back in full swing, I’m ready to answer your questions starting with….compromise!

Your friend,

Maia Gibson

Question: Is there such thing as “too much compromise” in a relationship?

Answer: As I mentioned in an earlier post, compromise is fundamental when it comes to relationships. If nobody compromised, we’d be even more divided than we already are. Without compromise, when couples run into issues, they would always break up. But, is there such thing as “too much” compromise?

Compromise is a good thing, a healthy thing, a necessary thing. Most of the time. Exceptions arise when you are compromising your own happiness, personality, or favorite things. If your significant other asks you to make more time for them, you can compromise. But if your significant other asks you to stop hanging out with all of your friends to focus on them, it’s no longer reasonable. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice the people and things, such as sports, clubs, or activities, for who you’re dating. Ideally, they should coexist and even support each other. There are always exceptions, especially to the people rule, such as when dealing with ex-baes or negative influences, which your significant other may be right in disliking, but there are general boundaries that shouldn’t have to be crossed.

A very common and misnomered “compromise” that I see people doing is giving up activities that they love for their significant other. They think that they need to dedicate all of their time to their significant other so they slowly give up pieces of their lives and pieces of their heart for this person. Eventually, they have nothing left but this relationship and are concurrently left finding all of their value and happiness in it. If things go south, they then realize they have nothing and no one else to turn to. I’ve seen this happen first hand to close friends and it breaks my heart. If you’re in the type of relationship where compromise means giving up your life, it’s not the right relationship for you.

Another common compromise gone wrong is compromising time with family and friends. It is important to give valuable time to these people and your relationship at the same. In a strong relationship, these people can often all come together which is great! If your significant other can get along with your friends and family, you can solve any potential need for compromise by spending time with your bae and your loved ones AT THE SAME TIME!

Overall, as I said in my earlier post, I believe compromise is often the key and the foundation of a healthy relationship. But, yes, there is such thing as too much. Any compromise that jeopardizes your wellbeing or compromises you as a person (your relationships, your personality, your activities, etc.) is a compromise not worth making.