James, It’s High time You Take Volunteer Retirement

Going by history I know you have a challenging legacy to maintain. Two piece crisp, well fitted suit, famous one liner “I am Bond, James Bond”, lip tearing smooches, vicious fights without a scratch on your face, leap of faith from some floor of the building, the huge popping out biceps, knack of piloting any plane without any prior training, riding cars fuming bullets and fire without a user manual,your skill of unclasping complicated bra hooks, the smoky hot bed scenes between the satin bed covers. I know anybody and everybody can’t be 007, bagging the license to kill.

Sam Smith’s sensational voice tried to hold my attention with credits displaying on the huge screen. Can you blame him for making my knees go week merely with his voice?, You were just flaunting the skills you have mastered, with your lips with the rich widow who just buried her husband and came to the sanctuary of her house, while you like a predator followed her every move, in your fancy car. Boom, Boom you kill her bodyguards with two silent shots and advance towards her with those steady steps. Her sinfully black dress and sad eyes screaming carnal encounter the whole time. You respond to her fearful gaze with your silent sensual lips, assuring, passing your energy, the only way you can. Playing, saying things through your silence, promising the audience of something more , beyond imagination, you advance, while breathing of the widow varies from slow to fast in anticipation. One minute you look in to her deep valley of eyes and next moment you are buttoning your shirt, feeling so cheated I continue watching your movie thanking Indian censor board all time for making James bond movie Kiss and sex free.

Condom of Shailesh sorry Quantum Of Solace at least had that great chase on the roof top with the mighty ocean in background but Spectra had , let me think,(tapping my forefinger to my forehead) absolutely nothing,. “We cant help 007, he is on his own“, “I am scared James“, “Call your agent, 007 in, we are closing the project” I am listening to these dialogues since my birth. I felt so bored and so frustrated, first time ever in 6 years of my IT career I had the urge to write a java program to kill James bond infinite times in infinite ways. With your trade mark scene trimmed, dialogues already known, you lost me as a viewer, forever .

Thank you James, for making me hate your movie so much. Its high time you get married, and at least for once in your life go on a honeymoon with your OWN wife, make babies and take volunteer retirement, enjoy evening walks and morning laughing clubs. You will find the solace you were looking for from centuries and penance for your SINS.