WWF Smackdown - October 7, 1999

-They open with a classy tribute package to Gorilla Monsoon, who had recently passed away.

-From Long Island, NY. Our hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

X-Pac and Kane vs. Viscera and Mideon

X-Pac orders Kane out of the ring. Mideon gains control of X-Pac and tags in Viscera. X-Pac outmaneuvers and nails some kicks but Viscera comes back with a Samoan Drop. X-Pac dodges an elbow drop from Mideon and hits an enziguri. Kane tags himself in, which seems to upset X-Pac, and cleans house on the Ministry. The choke slam finishes Mideon at 2:37. X-Pac is disgusted by their victory.Winners: X-Pac and Kane

-The Acolytes jump X-Pac and Kane and a brawl breaks out. The Ministry leaves the odd couple team down and out.

-Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock backstage. The Rock says The British Bulldog is nothing to him and mocks his toughness in hilarious Rock fashion. Rock is also annoyed that Val Venis is running around with a sock with Rock’s face on it in his pants. Rock promises to play movie director and show Venis the uncut version of “The Rock laying the Smackdown on his candy ass.” This promo was Rock in his prime.

-Mankind applauds Rock as he walks by. After a break, Foley is interviewed by Lillian Garcia. Mankind thinks it’s great that Rock is going to fight his battles for him. Foley isn’t willing to sit around on his fat candy ass, so he’s going to fight Rock’s battles in exchange. I guess that means we’re getting Mankind vs. Bulldog later tonight.

Road Dogg (with Mr. Ass) vs. Hardcore Holly (with Crash)

Holly misses a clothesline and suffers a series of blows. Back body drop by Road Dogg but Holly rebounds with a drop-kick. Crash cheap shots while the ref’s back is turned. Power slam by Holly gets a 2 count. Holly feeds Road Dogg to crash while the ref admonishes Mr. Ass. Small package by Dogg gets 2. Road Dogg blocks a flying Holly move (you know, that top rope attack that seems like it’s only purpose is getting countered). Road Dogg makes his comeback and Crash tries to interfere. The Falcon Arrow finishes Dogg at 5:11. This felt like the longest 5 minute match ever.Winner: Hardcore Holly

-The New Age Outlaws aren’t done and drag the Holly Cousins into the ring for a beating.

-Mark Henry is in therapy for his sex addiction. It can’t help that his psychiatrist is a smoking hot woman. She asks Henry about his first sexual encounter and he doesn’t want to talk about it. He says he was 8 and it was with his sister. That’s gross. The psychiatrist is horrified but asks when was the last time he had sex with his sister, and it was only a couple of days ago. This is why it took the WWE 12 years to get Henry over.

-Jeff Jarrett and Ms. Kitty are hosting a mud wrestling match near the stage. The PG era doesn’t seem so bad now, does it? Jarrett says he’s finally found a place for the women of the WWF and that mud is the only place where broads should be fighting. He says that later (as in not now, they’re going to waste more than one segment on this) Ms. Kitty will fight someone in the mud and the winner is whoever rips the other’s top off. This is embarrassing.

-Terry Taylor interviews The British Bulldog backstage. Bulldog only wants the WWF title and he doesn’t care about anyone else, including The Rock, Stephanie McMahon, or Mankind. If he has to cripple Mankind tonight, he will. Mankind jumps Bulldog from behind and has to get pulled off him.

-There is a room backstage filled with poisonous snakes. Okay…

Edge and Christian vs. Matt and Jeff Hardy

This is part of the Terri Invitational Tournament. The Hardy Boys are still entering through a ring of flames, but there’s no Gangrel to be seen. Before the match, Terri shows up on the stage and adds a Texas Tornado stipulation. All four men get to battle in the ring and Edge and Christian gain an early advantage. One Hardy gets flap jacked onto the other. Christian and Matt brawl at ringside, with Matt nailing a hard DDT. Matt nails a top rope clothesline on Edge, who is now at the mercy of the Hardy’s. Edge comes back with a double shoulder tackle. Jeff leaps off the barricade to take down Christian and they continue to wear down Edge. Christian hangs Jeff on the ropes as Edge makes a comeback. Inverted DDT on both Hardy’s by Christian. Spear by Edge on Jeff, but Matt breaks the cover. Electric Chair Superplex by Edge and Christian! Jeff sneaks in a Swanton Bomb! Jeff pins Christian at 6:09 to stay in the tournament! They packed a lot of action into six minutes, it was becoming clear that these four were going to be a big part of the future.Winners: Matt and Jeff Hardy

-Val Venis strips and admires himself in the mirror. He unzips his pants and pulls Mr. Rocko out.

-Replay of Jeff Jarrett attacking his own valet, Ms. Kitty, on Raw. She was yet another woman to suffer a figure four in recent weeks.

-Jeff Jarrett comes back to host the mud wrestling match. Jarrett introduces Women’s Champion Ivory so she can have a front row view. Jarrett brings Ms. Kitty back out and it turns out she’s going to wrestle in a bikini. Jarrett then reveals Ivory to be her opponent and he shoves her into the mud.

Mud Wrestling match:
Ms. Kitty vs. Ivory

The Kat quickly pulls Ivory’s dress off. This fires Ivory up and she aggressively goes after Kat’s bikini top. Ivory thumbs the eyes and seems to get the top off. Kat is topless but you don’t see anything because of all the mud. I’m truly embarrassed to be watching this.Winner: Ivory

-Mae Young and The Fabulous Moolah show up to confront Jarrett, who shoves both of them into the mud (while Lawler makes tar pit jokes). Jarrett celebrates his dominance and doesn’t notice Chyna sneaking up behind him. Chyna kicks Jarrett effortlessly into the mud. Every week Jarrett acts like a creep and every week he gets his comeuppance. It’s starting to become redundant.

-Michael Hayes and Shane McMahon are sitting in a hospital waiting room, waiting for news on Stephanie (she was sent to the hospital on Raw). We’re treated to a recap of the British Bulldog intimidating the McMahons and throwing a trash can into Stephanie’s head. Shane says that Stephanie is doing better every day, but she’s suffering amnesia. Shane won’t talk about the comments that the British Bulldog has made since.

The British Bulldog vs. Mankind

Bulldog goes right after the head of Mankind. Foley turns it around and pummels Bulldog into position for a running knee to the face. Bulldog counters a suplex at ringside. Bulldog reverses an Irish whip and sends Foley crashing into the ring steps. Bulldog nails a chair shot without getting disqualified. Back to the ring, Bulldog applies a chinlock. Mankind retaliates with a DDT. Mankind pulls out Mr. Socko, but he accidentally goes after the referee. Bulldog shoves Mankind to the referee as well and goes for the ring steps. We FINALLY get a DQ at 6:14 as Bulldog drives the steps into Foley’s skull. The match was a train wreck.Winner via DQ: Mankind

-Bulldog and Mankind brawl into the crowd.

-The poisonous snakes are still poisonous and they’re still here.

-Steve Austin went hunting with Jim Ross. Apparently, Austin likes to relax by shooting targets with Triple H’s face on them. Austin and J.R. speculate about the beating Austin will give Triple H at No Mercy.

-Triple H enters the snake room. He’s up to something.

Big Show vs. Big Bossman

Show thrusts Bossman into the corner, but Bossman explodes out. Clothesline by Big Show and a thrust kick sends Bossman tumbling to ringside. Show puts a leg over the ropes and Bossman pulls him down. Bossman throws a series of shots. Show runs into a slam but kicks out. Show makes a comeback but Bossman gets disqualified for using his night stick at 2:24. The match was ass.Winner via DQ: Big Show

-Bossman tries to handcuff Big Show to the ropes but the cuffs aren’t big enough. Bossman suffers a Choke Slam from Hell for his trouble.

-Rewind of the Week: Triple H beats up Jim Ross on Raw.

-Triple H is hanging out in the snake room. HHH says he might not be the hunter that Austin is, but he’s a pretty good trapper. He isn’t afraid of snakes and holds an actual rattlesnake in his hands. Triple H puts the snake in a bag and crushes it with a sledgehammer. This is the real reason the World Wildlife Fund was upset with the Federation. The snake assault really upsets Michael Cole, didn’t know he had a soft spots for reptiles.

-WWF Champion Triple H brings the dead snake to the stage. Like this snake, he promises to put Steve Austin in a body bag at No Mercy.

-We’re treated to a lengthy music video from Heat that recaps all the recent happenings in the WWF title scene.

-Terry Taylor tries to interview Triple H, who won’t have any of it. Taylor settles on Val Venis, asking him why he’s insulting The Rock. Venis says Rock should be happy for this extra exposure. Venis says he’s going to take Rock to Planet Reality and show him that while he’s great, he’s not the greatest. Venis puts himself as the fastest rising star in sports entertainment when he’s jumped by Mankind, who is in turn jumped by The British Bulldog. Referees have to separate the men, and Foley is down and out. The Rock walks by and is less than sympathetic to Foley’s struggles.

Val Venis vs. The Rock

Rock shakes off a sneak attack and nails a suplex. Venis ducks a clothesline but gets tossed to ringside. Rock reverses a whip and sends Venis crashing into the crowd. Back to the ring, Rock hits a swinging neck breaker for 2. Snapmare by Rock sets up a chinlock. Venis is overwhelmed and takes a hike, but Rock nails a clothesline from behind. Val rebounds with a standing clothesline on the stage. Rock strikes back with a suplex onto the ramp. Venis counters and sends Rock into the ring post. Rock retaliates and takes a moment to join commentary and announce that Venis is going to meet “Mr. Table-O” and drives Val onto the table. Rock spits in Val’s face and drags him to the ring. Val counters with a spinebuster for a 2 count. Suplex by Venis and cue the chinlock! Rock battles out and makes his comeback. Venis kicks out of a Fisherman’s suplex and a DDT. Rock runs into a power slam for 2! Val loses it and goes for a chair. Mankind runs in for the save, snatching the chair . Sadly, Mankind misses a chair shot and plants Rock. Venis meets Mr. Socko! Rock serves Rock Bottoms to both Mankind and Venis and picks up the win at 10:10! This was damn good up until the screwiness at the end. Venis looked like he was ready to be a top guy, it’s a shame things didn’t work out for him. ***Winner: The Rock

-We end the show with Rock and Mankind bickering.

Final Thoughts: Another odd show, with Mark Henry confessing to incest, Triple H murdering an innocent animal, and Jeff Jarrett forcing women to mud wrestle. There some good signs of things to come though, as the tag team division continued to roll and we were treated to a really strong main event with Rock and Venis. I’ll give this one a thumb’s up.