Syndicate

Nov. 17th, 2012

"I fell asleep on the floor last night. It was the worst night's sleep ever!" These were the first words my nephew said, after exchanging salutations, with the rest of the family. He has come to our house for a weekend visit. And, as he plopped down on the chair, in the living room, he continued. "It is total HELL, sleeping on a floor."

"You should try it for more than just one night." I couldn't help myself. I know my nephew doesn't really get the point of this blog. (Hell, none of my family shows the type of support, that I so wish they would. To them, this whole thing is just silly. It is nothing more than a waste of time. They all keep telling me there is no way I am going to be able to do it. And furthermore, "why should you even want to do something that is so ridiculous?") I knew, even before I said another word, that anything I spoke, in regards to this project, would be a waste of energy. Still though, I continued. "I've gone 9 WHOLE days without a bed.""Well," my nephew said. "Nobody is forcing you to do it, are they, Michael?"Part of me wanted to ask who forced him to sleep on the floor last night. Part of me wanted to get all rude, and defensive. (Because, after all, when you do a project that has you giving up things you take for granted, left and right, well...you do tend to get a bit bitchy.) I actually surprised myself. Instead of saying one of the many witty comebacks that had popped in my head, I merely responded with: "Nope! Nobody forced me to do this. You're right."Nights 8 and 9 were actually pretty easy. As for night 8, I slept like a baby. It was probably the best night's sleep I have had, since starting this particular sacrifice. And, as such, there really wasn't anything to report. (Because honestly, how much fun would it be to read: I had a great night sleeping last night. I did not wake up once. Until tomorrow.)Last night...night 9.My animals made sure that I could not stay asleep. First, my dog rolled himself up in the blankets. It is amazing to me how a little chihuahua mix could be such a blanket thief. But, more than once last night, I woke up FREEZING COLD. And there, either of my feet, or to my side, was a big old wad of blankets, with my dog tucked away in the middle. (And, of course, each time I had to take the blankets back, I got the little growls, from my dog. Growls that seemed to ask: "Hey, man! What the hell?")My cat, deciding she did not want to be left out, decided to steal my pillow, shortly after 3 am. She started off with curling up on it, next to my face. This woke me up, and I was okay with it. But, apparently, she wanted more. A few minutes later, she began to stretch out her legs, and she pushed my head off of the pillow. (And, just like with my dog...She was very unhappy when I had to reclaim the pillow. But, I am sorry. I may be sleeping on a hard floor. But dammit, I at least deserve a comfortable pillow for my head."At about 4;15 in the morning (I have my cell phone by the pillow, and I checked the time.),my legs began to cramp up in a horrible way. And my back began to tighten, and I found myself praying that these last 6 nights of this sacrifice zoom by, at warp speed.I remember when K was a little kid. Sleeping on the floor was never all that big a deal. Whenever I stayed over at a friends house, or had my cousins over, I would usually wind up sleeping on the floor. And it never bothered me. As a child, sleeping on the floor was no problem.Oh...just another reminder that getting older sucks. Now there are all these pains, that come from sleeping on a floor. (Well, I have had some good night...I will give you that.)So, today, I started questioning what I have learned from this particular sacrifice.I have learned that it was absolutely STUPID of me, to complain about the price of my bed, when I bought it last year. $1,100.00 seemed expensive at the time. And, I remember even lying in that bed, not too long before this particular sacrifice began, and thinking to myself that it was such a pricey purchase. (Like I really had anything better to spend the money on. I don't think so.) And now, suddenly, that amount doesn't seem bad at all. I have learned to fully appreciate my bed, even though it may have cost more than I was wanting to spend.And, I have also learned that it hurts a lot more, when you kick in your sleep, and you are on the floor. Since my foot surgery, myfeet are extremely sensitive. And, on occasion, I will kick in my sleep. Either from a spasm, or from the weight of the blankets. Last night, I kicked my foot. And, it came crashing back down on the hard floor, toes first.Yep! Talk about a HORRIBLE way to wake up! I was screaming out curse words, one after the other.In bed, when my foot kicks, there is the nice pillow top to keep me from pain. On the floor, not so much.Anyway...9 nights down. 6 more to go. Then, it is back to sleeping on my nice, comfy bed. And, it is on to the next sacrifice.

Nov. 15th, 2012

Last night....night 7 without my bed.Another night of peaceful sleep. I swear, as much as I may HATE the taste of that ZzzQuil, I think it actually works. I did not wake up one single time, last night. Sometime, as I watched Conan, I slipped into a coma. The TV--which was BOOMING, at the volume of 33--didn't even wake me up.I do have to wonder a few things, though. First, I wonder if, when the end of this sacrifice rolls around, I will have a hard time going back to sleeping in a bed? I mean, it has taken me 7 days to FINALLY have a night on the floor, when I haven't woken up one SINGLE time. And, we can all remember how difficult it was at the beginning. (Oh, how I hope it doesn't get that difficult again.) I wonder if, after growing accustomed to sleeping on the floor, there will be some trouble, with going back to sleeping on a bed. For example, will I so used to sleeping on the hard surface of the floor, that sleeping on the soft pillow-top mattress will be, dare I say, uncomfortable? It may seem completely stupid to think this, but I can't help but wonder...Second, I wonder about the ZzzQuil.Right on the front of the bottle, it says that it is non-habit forming. But I find myself wondering if this is correct. I wonder if, by the time I reach the end of this particular sacrifice, I will be able to sleep without downing a shot of this horrible tasting stuff. I have NEVER really had to rely on medication before. (Well...apart from the pain meds after my surgery.) And, even though the bottle swears it won't happen, I can't help but fear that, when this sacrifice is over, I will not be able to get a good night's sleep without ZzzQuil.I don't know...I am just rambling, I guess.Well...Night 7 was a breeze. Hopefully night 8 will be the same.Stay tuned to find out.

Nov. 14th, 2012

It is funny...Night 5 without my bed was just AWFUL! And, when I first laid down on the floor, during night 5, I was WIPED out. I thought sleep would come easily. But, as yesterday's post pointed out, I was sadly mistaken. It took me FOREVER to fall asleep, even though I was beyond tired. During night 5, as I laid down on the blankets, it was one of those rare nights, where my legs were not bothering me. (Ever since having the surgery--the one that let me walk--my legs are super sensitive, and bother me almost all the time.) I remember thinking, as I put the blankets on the floor during night 5, that since I was exhausted, and since my legs were not bothering me at all, sleep would come so quickly.Well...as you know, if you read yesterday's post, that was not the case. Not at all!On a night when I thought sleep would come easily (even sleep on the hard surface of my floor), it turns out that sleep was damn near impossible to find.Then, you have a night, like last night.Night 6.There were SO MANY reasons for it to be a bad night.The horror movie:Yes! I will admit it...I am a complete wuss, when it comes to scary films. The Scream films are the only "scary" movies, that I can stand to watch, without being completely traumatized. (I'm sorry, but really...If you are still scared by the Scream movies, then you need help. They are so played out, that it isn't even funny.) And yet, for some reason, horror movies are like a drug to me. I know they are going to completely mess with my head, and yet, I will go an see them anyway.Yesterday afternoon, I went to see that movie Sinister, with a friend. She had already seen this movie, and promised me that it wasn't "that bad". The opening scene proved that she is a big time liar! I'm not sure if this movie would freak everyone out. But I do know this much. It scared the living hell out of me.We left the theater, and it was dark. How nice to know that, in just a few hours--with this truly frightening movie still fresh in my mind--I would have to go to sleep. Boy...the nightmares were sure to be there, last night!The fall:My friend dropped me off at home. We said goodbye at the gate. She drove away, and I had to walk from the gate, to my house. There is a steep hill that I had to walk up, and absolutely NO lights. I had no way of seeing the rock, as my my cane went down on it. The cane wobbled, due to not being on a flat surface.And, long story, short...I fell. My knee made painful contact with the blacktop, and my hip also got hurt in the process of going down. Painstakingly, I was able to make my way back into an upright position. (Let me just tell you...It is not easy to stand back up, when you have little balance, and the only thing to help pull you off the ground, is a cane.)By the time I made it to my house,my hip and knee were killing me. And I knew--I just KNEW--that when I laid down on the floor, my leg would, due to the fall, would start to pull in spasms, which would make sleep IMPOSSIBLE!I rolled out the blankets on the floor. My dog gave me this look, as he curled up beside the pillow. It was a look that told me he was not happy with sleeping on the floor. But, he would do it, for me.I went to the bathroom...opened up the medicine cabinet. I pulled out the ZzzQuil. And, as I opened the bottle, I could already taste the gross 'grape' flavoring. I took a shot of it, and damn near gagged. (I do not think that I will ever get used to the way this tastes! It does not taste like grape...not at all. It tastes like....well, never mind!)I fell (not literally) to the blankets, and watched a bit of Conan. Then, the TV went off, and braced myself. Sore leg, and hip. Horror movie. There was no way sleep would come easily...But it did!My leg didn't spasm a single time. The horror movie, which I thought would haunt me, left my mind, as soon as my head hit the pillow. And before I knew it, I was OUT!And I had the PERFECT night's sleep. There was no tossing, or turning. There was no waking up, having to roll over. Sure...the floor was still uncomfortable. But, even that didn't seem to bother me, all that bad. I went to bed, and the next thing I knew, it was 7am, this morning.It is so funny, to me. Last night should have been an AWFUL night. I was in pain, and I had watched a movie that I was sure, would keep me up. And yet, I slept the best sleep I have had, since starting this second sacrifice.Go figure.

Nov. 13th, 2012

December 18. The start of my two-week break from school. And, if you will remember, it is also the day that I have planned to begin the sacrifice of giving up my computer. Truth be told, when I started this project, on October 25, I thought that all of the sacrifices I will work, would be difficult to some degree. Even the ones that I deemed "easy" would challenge me, in some way. But the computer...well, that was a sacrifice that I really didn't think I would mind, all that much. Sure, it would be hard, but really...I was kind of looking forward to it. Just tucking my Toshiba Satellite back in its box, and putting it in my closet, for 15 days. In so many ways, this particular sacrifice seemed like it would be a much needed break, from the computer.And now, on November 13, my attitude has changed completely. I went from looking forward to 15 days without a computer, to dreading it. You see, my birthday is December 8. (Time to hit the big three-one!) And my brother contacted my last night, telling me that he wanted to buy me something VERY generous--a gift for both, my birthday, and Christmas.He is going to buy me an Apple iMac. He recently bought himself one, and has come to see that they are really superior to PC's. And I have wanted one, for the longest time. But, I just never had the money, and so...it was a pipe dream."Just give me until (check this irony out) December 18. Then we will go to the Apple store, and get you the new computer. Michael...you are going to LOVE it!"December 18...the day that I begin the sacrifice of giving up my computer. And, on this very day, I will be getting a computer that I have wanted for the LONGEST time. While I could easily tuck away my Toshiba, I don't think it will be quite as simple, to ignore the fact that I will have a HUGE Apple box on my desk, with my dream computer inside of it.For 15 days, I am going to have to try my very hardest to ignore that box...just not open it. Because if I do, I know the sacrifice of giving up the computer will be absolutely UNBEARABLE!

***

Last night was night 5 without my bed. I am officially 1/3 of the way through this sacrifice. And it already feels like has been an eternity. If I thought the sacrifice of my vehicle lasted forever, it was NOTHING compared to this. It used to be, before entering into this particular sacrifice, that I actually looked forward to night time. I have always been one who has enjoyed my sleep. There was nothing better, than lying down, at the end of a long day, and just dozing off.But that was when I had a bed.Now, I almost dread the night. As I take the five minutes or so, to lay out the blankets on the floor, I find myself wishing that there were some way to FAST FORWARD through this challenge. If time travel was possibl, I would use it to advance to the end of this sacrifice.Yesterday, I went over to a friend's house, to hang out. She and I decided to spend the afternoon watching movies. There we were, watching one movie after another: Moulin Rouge, Scream 4, A Walk To Remember...sitting on her bed. (She lives in an apartment, and her roommate was being a grand bitch, yesterday...just the same as every other day. So we did our movie watching in her room, where we could be bitch free.) Half-way through A Walk to Remember, I started getting groggy. I went from sitting on the bed, to lying back on it. My eyes started to feel heavy...it would have been so easy to just go to sleep.Instead, I climbed off the bed, and sat on the floor. I explained to her that if I stayed on the bed much longer, I was going to most likely take a nap. And, that would destroy any chance I have, as being successful with this blog."Well good for you," she said, as she sat next to me on the floor. "It must be hard, doing what your doing."(The funny part, by the way, is that as soon as I climbed off the bed, the sleepy sensation left, and once again, I was WIDE awake.)As for last night...Even with the ZzzQuil--which, by the way, they say tastes like grape...I have never tasted a grape that nasty, in my entire life--I found myself fighting to get to sleep, in the first place. Suddenly, the floor seemed even harder, than it has in the nights that have come before. I just could not get comfortable. I must have tossed and turned, for well over 2 hours, before finally drifting into a very uneasy sleep.I had a dream last night, that somebody took my bed. It just wasn't there anymore. In its place, there were blankets on the floor. And, for some reason, I knew that (at least in my dream) I would never be allowed to sleep on a bed, ever again. In the dream, the floor was the only thing that I would sleep on, forever. (I have to wonder, as I write about this dream, if each sacrifice will bring a new dream with it. After all, I had the disturbing nightmare about my moped. And now this...)I woke up, and instantly looked down the hall, to make sure my bed was still there. And, then, I struggled to get back to sleep, once again.Another issue last night...It is starting to get very cold at night. And a few days back, I got a little heater, which I thought would help. And for the first night, as well as night 4, it did. But, last night...well, even with that heater on full blast, the floor was still icy cold. And it just would not warm up. (Even my poor dog was shivering, as he slept beside me, last night.)I will end this entry by saying one thing...Last night, as I practically froze from the coldness of the floor, I really began to hate the idea of choosing the sacrifices at random. Because, if I was choosing to work them at set times, well then...this sacrifice would have been worked in the Spring, when it is warming up, and the floor was not like carpeted ice.5 nights down....10 more to go.This particular sacrifice really has me questioning why I am still choosing to do this whole thing. Because it is ABSOLUTE HELL!!!

Nov. 11th, 2012

Maybe it was the date to Medieval Times, that took place yesterday afternoon. God knows that, before going into the auditorium, I walked more than my fair share. It was his first time there, and I wanted to make sure that he saw everything. So, we walked through the little museum, where they show all the ancient tools, used for torture. (Oh, such a romantic setting for a date.) Then, we took our time, wandering around. We looked at all the gifts, and ultimately spent way too much money, on stuff neither of us really need. And then there was the bar, of course. We each got a few drinks. So, between all the walking, and the drinks, I was beginning to feel slightly tired, on the car ride back to Temecula...about 1.5 hours.Or, maybe it was the shot of ZzzQuil, that I took, when I finally got home.Lastly...It might have been the fact that I have slept MISERABLY, the two nights before.But, whatever the case, last night was a pretty good night.Sure, the floor was still uncomfortable. (But that is not going to miraculously change now, is it?) I still found myself waking up a few times, throughout the night. But, until about 2 in the morning, I was good. I would merely turn over, settle down again, and I went right back to sleep.Then, early morning came.And it started to get cold. No...Not just cold. FREEZING! Even under a TON of blankets, I found myself shivering. And, I had no heater in my house. For a few hours, I was able to fight through the chill. Then, at 4:30 in the morning, I found that I could no longer do it. (My fingers had actually gone numb!)So I got up, and went into the main house on the property. And there, in a house where heaters can easily be found, I slept of the floor, for about another hour.,And today today is the first day, with this sacrifice, that I feel wide awake. As I type this, I don't feel groggy at all. I feel rested.And, as I conclude this post--short as it may be--I am going out to buy a heater, so that I do not freeze tonight. And hopefully, with this purchase, and the ZzzQuil, I can manage to get another good night tonight.We shall see.

Nov. 10th, 2012

So, before I go into the experience, that was night 2 without my bed, I would just like to write out that, as of today, I will be hopping on my bicycle, and making my way to the grocery store, down the street. Not for groceries--though I may just go ahead and take care of that, as well. (Especially since I saw a recipe for a soup, in one of my cookbooks, that I am DYING to make.)--but rather for a nice bottle of ZzzQuil. Because there is no way that I will make it through the next 13 days--sleeping on the hard, cold floor--without some form of assistanceLast night...Night 2 Without My Bed...The same thing. I "woke up" this morning, pulled myself off the floor, and made a pot of coffee so strong, that it could actually energize a dead battery. Still, I feel BEYOND exhausted. I feel like I am going to drop into a sudden slumber, as I write this post. My head feels weirdly light, and my eyelids feel like they are made of lead. I can't stop yawning, and I feel like a zombie...awake,but not really.(On the plus side--because I am one those weirdos that ALWAYS likes to find a plus side--in the rare chance that Freddie Krueger should try to come after me, all I have to do is lie down on the floor. There is no way I can go into a sleep deep enough, to be in danger.)I "made my bed"--laid the blankets out on the floor--at about 8pm, last night. And after I finished making a homemade batch of eggnog (with a BOAT LOAD of brandy), I took a brief look at my bed, which I can see from the kitchen. And, I hated myself, for deciding to do this whole thing. I even started to question my sanity a little bit, as I thought about how comfortable it would be, to just go crash, on that nice pillow-top mattress. Because, seriously...Who the hell thinks that a project like this is a "good idea"?By the way, the act of solidarity, offered up by my dog and kitty, just the night before, was not something they were willing to repeat, last night. As I looked at my bed, with a longing stare, they both jumped right up on it, and cuddled up together. And there, in blissful comfort, they looked at me...they mocked me. Haha, I could imagine them saying. We get this nice, comfy bed, all to ourselves. And you have to sleep on the floor. Boy, it sucks being you!Way to show support! Little bastards!Really though...I can't blame them.If I thought night 1 was bad, well...it was nothing, compared to night 2.Not only did I have to deal with the discomfort of the floor, but my feet were supremely sensitive--something that happens from time to time, since having my surgery. The hardness of the floor was bothering them. The weight of the blankets was bothering them. My feet kept kicking, every few minutes. This, along with the fact that my floor is NOT COMFORTABLE at all, means that I probably got only 2 to 3 hours of sleep, last night.At one point, just after 2 in the morning, the hardness of the floor started really getting to me. I woke up, and actually started to cry. All I wanted to do was sleep. I looked at my futon, and that only made me cry more. Then the vulgarities started pouring out of me, with such a loud, echoing volume, that I am pretty sure my neighbors were also unfortunate enough to be up, at that ungodly hour.Eventually morning rolled around. I climbed up from the floor, and, as you know, made the decision to get a sleep aid, before tonight.I took a bath, a few hours ago. And, while sitting in the the tub of hot water, I fell asleep.Thank you, GOD!And you know what...it was so nice being able to take that little nap, that I don't even mind the fact that I now look like a prune.All I can say is this...I hope that ZzzQuil helps me sleep a little bit better, tonight.

Nov. 9th, 2012

Two crocheted afghans, one put on top of the other. These were to sleep on top of. A quilt, and a fleece blanket to go over me. And a pillow. This was my "bed" last night...and will be for the next 14 nights, as well.Night 1 without my bed...IS THIS PARTICULAR SACRIFICE FINISHED YET!!! Can't I just pretend that last night was more than one night--that it was 15 nights, instead? What I wouldn't give to sleep on my bed, tonight. (Oh! My nice, comfy California King bed, with its pillow-top. It is truly the bed that dreams are made of.) Honestly, after last night, it is safe to say that I learned how much I take my bed for granted. And even if I were to sleep on my bed tonight--which I am not going to...I still have 14 miserable nights ahead of me--I would never take a single moment of that comfortable sleep for granted, EVER again!Now, you might be saying to yourself that last night couldn't have been that bad. After all, who hasn't slept on a floor before, at least once in their life? And I will be the first to admit that some floors can actually be pretty damned comfortable. Take, for example, the floors in the main house, on our property--my mom's house. That carpeting is so comfortable, that before I got my Cal-King--back when I still had the cheap-o bed, I bought in high school--I actually preferred to sleep on the floor, over my bed, some nights.And then, you have floors, like the one in my house.The carpet (if you want to call it that) is HORRIBLE. I swear, sandpaper has more comfort to it, than this carpet. It is scratchy. It is HARD as all hell. and I am pretty sure that parts of it are made out of wire, that randomly offer a very painful poke.As I "made my bed" on the floor, last night, I knew that this was a particular sacrifice, that I didn't even really want to do. I chose to sleep on the floor in my office, down the hall from where my bed is. I figured that, if I slept on the floor next to my bed, that would just be a whole other form of torture. Not that sleeping in my office was that much better. Instead of sleeping by my bed, I slept on the floor beside a brand new TOTALLY AWESOME--and oh so comfy--futon, that I bought, just last week. And part of me, if I am being honest, had the thought of just unfolding the futon, and sleeping on that. Because, after all, it is a futon...NOT my bed! Therefore, I wouldn't really be breaking the rules. (Yeah! As much as I tried to tell myself that this little loophole could work to my benefit, I just couldn't seem to convince myself that this was anything less than cheating.)So, how did I sleep, you may find yourself asking...It was, I am quite sure, the worst night's sleep, of my life (up until this point, anyway. God only knows what the next 14 nights will bring!) I must have woken up AT LEAST 15 different times, only to struggle to get back to sleep. (See...If I woke 15 different times, and had to fall back to sleep 15 times, that should count as my 15 times of sleeping on the floor. Right? No....CRUD!) Every time I woke, it was because I was in some sort of pain. Either my wrists were killing me, from tendonitis. (Which, to be fair, happens when I sleep in a bed, too.) Or, the more common pain that kept waking me...back pain! (At some time just after midnight, my back tightened up on me so badly, that it actually threw me into a sitting position. And, at this point, I again tried to convince myself that it would be okay to sleep on the futon, because it IS NOT A BED!) I also had to remind myself, every time I woke up--every time I just wanted to say "fuck it", and sleep in my bed--that this project isn't something that was forced on me. Nobody was saying: "MICHAEL! YOU MUST GO WITHOUT YOUR BED! YOU MUST SLEEP ON THE FLOOR!" I am doing this for me. I am doing this because it was something I wanted to do. More importantly, it feels as though this project was something that I needed to do.Sure...I could cheat. I was very well aware of the fact, that I could have slept on my futon--or even better, my bed--and just wrote a post that said otherwise. After all, if you are reading this (and I hope that somewhere, people ARE reading this), then really...how would you know? But it isn't about that. Sure, it would be easy to lie, and say I am doing each of these sacrifices, without doing a single one of them. But, what would that accomplish? While the bed (or even the futon) seem so tempting...if I were to cave--even ONE time--during this project, then the only thing that I would be proving is that I am a FLAKE! Plain and simple. I would be letting myself down...And I refuse to let that happen!This project just seems like the only sure thing that I have in my life, right now.There was, I must admit, something that made me smile, during one of my painful awakenings, last night.My dog, and kitty, were both right there, beside me. I had left the office door open, and fully thought that both of them would be snoozing on the bed last night, without me. (God knows that my dog LIVES to cuddle up on beds.) But no. They proved just how loving pets really are. The person who feeds them could not sleep on a bed. Well then, they weren't going to either. In an act of solidarity, they slept on the floor, right beside me.As I conclude this entry, my lower back is still in pain, and I am EXHAUSTED! (With all the waking up last night, it should come as no surprise, that have been tired, since pulling myself off the floor this morning.1 day down, of going without my bed.14 more to go!Yippee!

Nov. 8th, 2012

So, before we get into day 15 without my vehicle, I would like to take a moment to choose the next sacrifice. First, let me take a drink of the beer, sitting right beside my computer. Okay...done. Now, time for me to plunge my hand down into that purple Crown Royal bag, and stir around the papers, within. And, as I get ready to do this, I feel incredibly giddy, and yet terrified at the same time. It is nice to know that I am advancing to the second sacrifice I will make, in this project. And it is terrifying because, well...it is SO HARD to give up something that I take for granted. The first sacrifice showed me that.Okay. Enough talking about it. Just do it!The next thing that I will go without is...(Drum roll, please)My Bed.Oh...this one is going to be difficult. I knew, as I wrote this one out, that it would be hard. I have lower back pain, and the floors in my house are harder than concrete. And, since this particular sacrifice will MAINLY affect me during the night, I will not wait until tomorrow night, to start it. Rather, I will begin this sacrifice TONIGHT! One thing is sure...

At the end of the of this 15 day sacrifice, I will NEVER take my bed for granted...Ever again!

***

Day 15 Without My Vehicle!Last night, as I went to bed, I didn't think today would be all that big a deal, for me. I mean, I am STILL without my vehicle. And, it looks like I will be, for some time. So as I climbed in bed, I thought that today--my last day with this first sacrifice--would be nothing special.Boy, was I wrong!I woke up this morning, and felt AMAZING! I had done it. I had successfully made it 15 days without my vehicle. Not that I had much of a choice--my moped is down for the count, after all--but still. (Technically, the only reason the moped is still not running, is because I asked my neighbor to delay checking it. So, in that respect, I WILLINGLY have given up being able to drive around town.)It is funny. When I first started this sacrifice, I remember thinking (and even writing) that it wouldn't be all that hard of a sacrifice. Truth be told, when I started this project on October 25, I remember feeling like this particular sacrifice would be a great big blessing.Anyone who drives can relate to what I am about to say.Don't get me wrong...I love having my moped. I love knowing that it's there, and I have a way to get myself from Point A to Point B. But, at the same time, when I started this project, I was beginning to see driving as a bit of a chore. It had almost become tedious. (My brother warned me, as he helped me buy the moped, that driving was not all it was cracked up to be. He told me that the time would come, where I would begin to see driving--even to get to places I wanted to go to--as a hassle. He, of course, was right. At the time of starting this particular sacrifice, that was where I was at.)This sacrifice made me see how much I took my vehicle for granted. All those times that I thought driving was a hassle...that was what I was doing. I was taking my vehicle for granted. My vehicle was an every day part of my life. And, sad as it may sound, I never realized how much I would miss my moped, as I started this project.Now, even though this sacrifice is done, I am still without my vehicle, for God knows how long. And you may think that what I am about to write is a bit of a dramatic statement. You may roll your eyes, and say that I'm being a drama queen. But, this is how I feel...I feel like, without having my vehicle, I have misplaced a part of my identity. I feel like I have lost some little part of me, with the absence of my moped. There is a hole in my world, that will only be filled, when I get my moped back, and am able to drive, once again.It is funny, how something so simple as a vehicle, can really become part of who we are. And in a way, I am thankful that I started this project. Because I finally see what it truly means to take something for granted.One sacrifice down. 23 more to go!And now, I am off. It is time to lay blankets on the floor, and "make my bed" for the next 15 nights.

Nov. 7th, 2012

Today was an easy enough day, without my vehicle. In fact, I hardly missed it, at all. There was really no need to go anywhere, and so, I spent my day at home. God knows there was enough to do around the house. I spent my morning, cleaning the kitchen. And for the rest of the day, I crocheted. I am happy to say that I got a fair amount of crocheting done. The crocheted Christmas goodies arereally starting to come along.I wish I had more to write today. (While I am at wishing, I also wish that I could shake the headache, that has been present foir the past two hours.) But, there really is nothing new to report.I just wanted to write this brief entry, to say that I did it.So...Until day tomorrow...Which, were it not for rotten luck, would be the last day I had to be without my vehicle.Oh well.

Nov. 6th, 2012

In my entry, titled Day 10 Without My Vehicle, I wrote about how I would have to plan out two more of the sacrifices, in order to make this whole challenge work. One of them, going without talking for 15 days, was an easy one to plan for. I simply plan to work this sacrifice, at the end of my challenge. Because, as I have already said, this particular one will be the most difficult. And, it will be the perfect way to end this challenge.The other one I had to plan for was the sacrifice of my computer. As you already know, I go to school online. And, my original thought was to just contact the university, at the end of one of my classes, and ask for a 15 day break, so that I can work the sacrifice of giving up my computer. As I have NEVER asked for a break before, I am fairly certain that it would not be an issue for me to get 15 days off.But, I looked at my estimated completion date: December 30, 2013. And, I realized that I didn't want to take 15 day break. I didn't want to still be a student, as we enter into 2014. I want to start the New Year, knowing that I am done with school. I have wanted that, since first enrolling, and seeing that I would be graduating at this time.So, I called up the school, this morning. And, I asked for the dates of Christmas break. (I will get 2 weeks off for Christmas break--14 days. And, I can just skip school that first day back, and do the work the following day.) I was told that the break would begin December 18, and go until January 1, 2013.I went to a calendar, and looked. This first sacrifice will end on November 8. The next one will go from November 9 to November 23. Then from November 24 to December 8 (MY BIRTHDAY!!!) Here is where things will get interesting. From December 3 to December 17, I will be working another sacrifice, meaning that from the 3rd to the 8th, I will be involved in giving up two things from my list. Yep! For a few days, I will be sacrificing 2 things. (Wish me luck!) Then, on December 18 (the first day of my two week Christmas break), I will be able to start the sacrifice of giving up my computer.Okay. Now that we have that out of the way...Today...Day 13 Without My Vehicle.I was at my computer, doing my schoolwork--a cup of coffee on the desk, just to my right--when I got the phone call. Even early in morning, before I even have the chance to have a complete cup of coffee, I am reminded of just how HORRIBLE it is, not having a vehicle."Hello, Michael. This is Walker Physical Therapy. I am calling to find out if you are still going to make your appointment this morning." (It was 8:15, when I got the phone call. My appointment was set for 8.) Apparently, that sweet little voice that said it would take me off the chart, just yesterday, was the voice of a liar.Long story, short...I had to tell them, yet again, that I would not be able to make my appointment. I had to go over why I would not be there. (This time, I simply said what I should have said yesterday..."I don't have a way there.")I can only imagine that the HORRIBLE therapist--the one who has taken a weird hatred towards me--got a big old hoot, when he didn't see me there, today. No doubt, he will have something incredibly nasty to say to me, during my next appointment.Earlier today, I called up the company I bought the moped from. I told them about what had happened, and explained that I needed to get it worked on...ASAP! In return, I was told that the guy who would need to pick it up, was off work, and may not be back, until next week. (How the hell do you not know if you have someone scheduled to work? Furthermore, why do you not have more than one person with this job description, when the website clearly states that your repair service is prompt, and professional?) It will, I am sad to say, most likely be some time near December, before I am actually able to drive my moped around.It turns out I didn't need this project, to see how much I take my moped for granted. Life has taken care of that, through other means. And, pathetic as it may be, I went to the hangar, shortly after 1pm. I had just had my lunch...nachos. I walked over to my moped. And, I sat down on the black leather seat. I gripped the handles, and closed my eyes. And, I allowed myself to daydream, a little bit. I imagined that I was driving it. And I remembered how nice it felt, the last time I drove...a trip to Stater Bros. I remembered how nice the wind felt, rushing against my face, and how nice it was, being able to have TRUE independence.Today would have been a GREAT day for me to have my vehicle, up and running. It also would have been a great day, for me to able to use it, if it were up and running.As of today, there are 49 days left, until Christmas. And, I still have a BOAT LOAD of gifts, that I need to crochet. I am just about done with the last shawl that I will be making (using this pretty yarn, with shades of mint green and white), and I thought that the one BIG ball that I bought, would be enough to finish this project. Sadly, it was not. I will need to get some more. And, I would have LOVED to have been able to go and get it, today. I mean, for all I know, I may pull the "no crocheting" paper, out from my bag, between now and Christmas. And then, I would lose 15 days, of being able to make my gifts. I simply do not have the time, to not have the yarn that I need.On the plus side, I can say this.I am really LOVING not having to buy gas, every few days.Well...Dinner time now. Chef Boyardee raviolis, and a bottle of beer.Until tomorrow...