The activation

You want answers to your questions. This world will not offer you those answers, that is not its purpose. Perhaps the answers you seek do not exist, perhaps to assume all ‘fact’ exists is stupid when its interpretation exists in so many forms. The form of the library knows resolution, the form of the library is pure. The form of the library possesses incorruptible patience, you are just a model, a missing piece of puzzle, but not an important one.

For days now I had been walking through the desert. In the beginning, the searing sand had scorched my feet, but now, I was used to it. My mouth was drier than the dust of Mars, my entire body begged for water, but still I continued. I was determined, I was resilient. There was just one ‘problem’ with me, I never gave up. Most people would have stopped trying, most people would’ve given in to the will of desert, where they would be scavenged by vultures. I would see this through despite my thirst, despite my hunger, despite the situation’s futility. I would be damned to give up now!

The crow cawwed, it knew me, it understood me. It wanted to nurture me, it had always had my back for it loved me, it cared for me even if I did not show the same compassion towards it. Perhaps in another life I would share it’s compassion, I would warm to its affection, but unfortunately I would not allow myself to do that. I tried to remember the first time I was aware of it, it made me think about someone. It reminded me of the lunch I spent with them and how I explained the glory that is a coronation chicken sandwich. The person who I had dreamed about, who I want to share everything with. The fourth model was deactivating leaving a fifth model. I thought about my family and how close I felt to them, I thought about my grandmother. I thought about my friends and how I nearly deserted them.i thought about how the only thing I think I’m good at is my job. I thought about you, the real you, the you I had got to know, the you who I have spent many days and nights with. The you who beams, the you who teases me.

But I have learnt nothing, perhaps I never will. That doesn’t matter, I’ll live. I just have to keep going, that’s all that anyone can do. I respect that.