A year under fire in Iraq cements female soldier's view of her future

News-Times, The (Danbury, CT)

Published 7:00 pm, Saturday, March 5, 2005

In her senior year, Conroy had ideas about one day becoming a police officer in New York City. She thought that by joining the reserve first, she would get a feel for being in uniform.
Now, after spending a year under fire in Iraq, Conroy, 27, has found out what goes with a uniform and has come home with mixed emotions.
"I'm proud to have been a soldier and to have served my country but I wouldn't want to do it full-time,'' Conroy said Saturday. "I never want to hold another weapon again. I don't like pointing a gun at someone. It's a whole other world out there and it's made me decide I want a civilian life."
Conroy, who came back to her New Fairfield home Friday night, found herself just as much in the line of fire as her male comrades.
As a corporal in a transportation unit, Conroy spent her year in Iraq criss-crossing the war zone in every direction, either at the wheel of a five-ton supply truck or manning the .50-caliber machine gun mounted on top of it.
"It was very scary,'' said Conroy. "Every time you went out you weren't sure whether you'd come back. We were often sitting ducks.''
Conroy's daily assignments routinely included hauling fuel, food and other supplies on 10- to 15-day journeys along bomb-damaged roads and under fire from insurgents.
Although Conroy escaped personal injury, she saw other trucks in her convoys hit by the insurgents' infamous home-made roadside bombs and allied soldiers seriously injured in firefights with the enemy.
As a woman soldier suddenly thrust into combat for the first time, Conroy feels the American servicewomen she saw in Iraq were well equipped to meet the challenge.
"I think the women soldiers out there handled the situation pretty well,'' Conroy said. "We're proud we stood next to our guys and did everything they did. Sometimes I think we did it better.''
Conroy conceded that women soldiers sometimes face additional challenges because they tend to be "more emotional .�.�. more caring'' than the men.
"Guys sometimes wonder whether women can do the job but we worked hard to prove we were equal and I believe the guys were proud of us too,'' said Conroy.
Still, as a woman soldier deployed in a war theater, Conroy said she sometimes felt she had lost her own identity and personality.
"When there's a mission to be done there's no room for personal considerations,'' said Conroy. "It was my first deployment and I hope it was my last. I want to get back to my own life, go to the gym, maybe go back to school. It's going to take some time for me to stop seeing uniforms all around me.''
Conroy, who has a degree in computer programming, will be officially discharged from the reserve in June.
She was given a rousing homecoming Friday from an estimated 300 war veterans, family, friends and other residents who crowded the town shopping center off Route 37.
"It was awesome to see so many people,'' said Conroy. "Not many towns do that sort of thing. I was very touched and very grateful.''
Conroy, who is unmarried, spent Saturday catching up on family news with her mother, Patricia; sister, Mary, 32, who drove down from Quincy, Mass.; and 28-year-old brother, TJ.
Conroy stayed tuned to family events during her stint in Iraq through letters, cards and care packages.
"I have such a feeling of relief now she's home,'' said Patricia Conroy. "It's been a lot of pressure for all of us. Now I can sleep well again.''
Sitting in her Hudson Drive home on Saturday, surrounded by vases of flowers sent by well-wishers, Tricia Conroy said the war has taught her to re-examine her life.
"I already appreciate what I have but I don't want to waste any more time,'' Conroy said. "I want to improve my life and spend more time with my family.
"They've given me such great support I 've never felt so much love in my life.''