Sunday, August 26, 2012

STILL.

IN.

DENVER.

Bastards.

/rant

Saturday, August 25, 2012

We all have had low experiences, in public, and been embarassed by peoples reactions. I thought I would share one of mine where the perfect stranger I was with at the time, had the best reaction.

No reaction at all.

None.

No faces, no strange comment, nothing.

I was with my son in said person's office. We were having a meeting. Part way through, I realized I was having to try too hard to follow the conversation, which then led me to notice that I was feeling a little funny too. I pulled out my meter and tested (I even licked the blood off my finger) and got a lovely little 58. Leaving the meter with it's bloody strip on his desk, I pulled some cookies out of my purse and with slightly shaky hands got them open.

The discussion continued without interruption. Well, my son made a comment about seeing the number, but otherwise uninterrupted. My hands quit shaking as the "medicine" started to work and I put the meter away. Not a word was said about the whole incident, which was SO TOTALLY COOL!

I don't know if that person has a connection with diabetes in his personal life, but I thought his LACK of reaction was the best reaction ever. Non-diabetics take note. If I can test and I'm not acting funny, I'm fine. I may be low but I'm fine, and if I need help, you'll know one way or another!

Last Thursday, everything went through and was approved for me to order my Dexcom CGM. RED LETTER DAY!! The unit was sent that day and I have the confirmation emails from Dexcom and FedEx.

Email from Dexcom...

And from FedEx!

We live in the "Time of the Internet", where we can get information in tenths of seconds. I can see at any time, exactly where my Dex is hanging out. Yet, to have that little bitty 2 pound box sent to me from San Diego takes 6 days. (SIX DAYS?? Are you kidding me?)

And we can track it on the internet, and find out that in two days it is sitting in a distribution center about an hour away from my house, in Denver. And it is seriously going to take 4 days to get here.

FOUR DAYS???

What the heck are they doing for FOUR DAYS? I have no patience for this! I want to blow off work and drive down to Denver and get it NOW. Ok, it won't do me any good to blow off work. (Bummer..) But I am that excited to get it! And I'll be working like crazy Monday and Tuesday that I probably won't even have time to open it and figure it out until Wednesday! (Probably why my impatience is hanging out, I don't want to wait any longer)

Why can't we have replicators like in Star Trek? I'd have had it up and running last week! Of course, I don't ever recall seeing a diabetic on any of the Star Trek shows, probably because if a pancreas quit on them, they just grew a new one!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I saw the endo for the first time today. I've been diagnosed with D for 3.5 years and finally got around to seeing her. I think she is fabulous! She looked at all 113 lbs of me and said, "Based on what you've told me, you are a Type 1." I was so relieved when she said that. So relieved in fact, that I had to tell her just that! It was the best news I could have gotten! It's been a long, LONG, LONG road of self advocacy and trial and error to get to here. To have the Dragon named is so incredibly AWESOME! Of course she drew labs to confirm, but I am so positive that it is now the correct diagnosis.

So.

It's the worst news ever, too. I mean, I was just diagnosed with a chronic, lifelong disease that I CANNOT ignore or it will kill me. End of discussion, game over, no more me.

Wild.

And I'm relieved that I have it? How strange is that? Name one person who has been relieved to be told they can loose a leg or go blind or have a stroke/heart attack? Not one.

I guess you could say I'm a little conflicted. OK, that was a HUGE understatement, I'm seriously conflicted. I've been so focused on what's really going on that I never thought to look to the future. Some of the random thoughts that have occurred to me in the last 12 hours since I was in her office:

What is the average life span for T1D?

I've been in health care for 15years, and I have NEVER taken care of a T1D. My friend has been a nurse for about the same length of time. She can think of 1 and that was a child. Where are the "old" T1D's?

If there are "old" T1D's out there, where are they? Are they being well taken care of? Who manages their disease for them?

Will they still let them have pumps or do they have to give that up and rely on injections again?

If there aren't any "old" T1D's, what does that mean? If it means anything.

What happens if I get dementia, who will take care of me? Can anyone do as good a job as I do taking care of me?

Holy crap, I've just gotten terrified of growing old!

Do T1D's get to do this?

I know when everything sinks in, in a few days, or over the next few months as we move forward obtaining a CGM and getting rolling with a pump, I'll get over these fears. The more I think about them, though, I realize that they are valid, incredibly valid questions, that I'm going to need answers to.

I go back to the endo in 6 weeks, to see how her changes are going, and I think I'm going to have to open that particular Pandora's Box. I need to know.

On a lighter note, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I overheard the doc talking about me to her nurse in the hallway. She said I was "really, really nice" and had "self advocated herself on to insulin and getting in here". It was so nice to hear, she sounded proud of me. What a cool feeling from someone I just met!

About Me

My diaversary is Feb 27, 2009. I was 33 years old. Bottom line, the bees suck. But every day I choose to live, because if I stick my head in the sand, it will, eventually, kill me. I know there are people who want me around a few more years, so everyday I get up and put on my armor and battle the diadragon.
Every diabetic is unique. And I am NOT your medical professional. My body will do different things than yours. Please, please, please! Do not make changes to your treatment regimen without consulting your doctor!

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Disclaimer! Please Read:

I AM a medical professional (nurse), but every diabetic is unique. My body will do different things than yours. Please, please, please! Do not make changes to your treatment regimen without consulting your doctor!
(And that's not me!)