Next week, Paul and I are driving to Indiana. That's thirteen hours in the car...one way.

Now, why, you may ask, are we doing this?

Well...

We've been invited to miskosmind's wedding. I'm a little conflicted about it. I wish him well. I want him to be happy. He was the one who introduced Paul and I and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

However, he's someone I was once in love with. Even after all these years of being with Paul there's still a special part in my heart reserved for Mike. We have other friends who are either named Michael or have dated men (or married men) named Michael. When I'm around them and if I'm telling a story about Mike I usually refer to him as "my Michael". He's no longer going to be "MY" Michael. Granted, he really hasn't been "MY" Michael for some time (if he ever was), so I don't know why I'm feeling this way.

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Of course, it probably doesn't help that I've been watching my "Michael" movies this past week..."My Best Friend's Wedding", "Phantom of the Paradise", "Reality Bites", "I Think I Do", etc. That's just been exashorbating the wound and I know that, but I can't help myself.

I'm sure I'm going to be alright...I'll move on...

...Mike, if you are reading this...don't worry...I'm not going to stand up when the minister says "is there someone here who has reason why these two should not marry". It's not that dramatic or anything. I'm just a little bit queazy/dizzy is all. I'll get over it.