At last they have reached an agreement on the stimulus bill which will hopefully create jobs and get this economy back up and running. Though I must admit to not being one of those who was hit by the problems going on with the economy…I must always say that I am concerned about others.

Many people did suffer and are suffering because the economy took a deep plunge under George W. Bush. I doubt whether gasoline prices will ever get back down to $.99…but it would be nice.

Wouldn’t it?

We take so much for granted until it is gone. We never knew just how good we had it until gas prices at the pump started getting over $3.00…and when they neared $4.00…and did hit $4.00 and over in some places…we suddenly realized the party was over.

Food prices went up…everything…you name it and it all went up…due to some lousy war in Iraq that nobody wanted in the first place but George Bush and his people. If the after-effect could have been seen before hand I doubt that little ol’ George would have stood a chance at getting that war started. Well…maybe I should take that back.

The fact is…is that there were some pretty greedy people pushing for that war. You saw them at the Republican National Convention…they were holding up signs that read ‘prosperity.’

You do remember seeing those signs all actively displayed around theRepublican National Convention floor this past August? Many of those very people realized what the outcome was going to be…long before hand. In fact, they were hoping for it.and began buying like crazy whatever they could on the stock market. They care about nothing… but… prosperity …at any cost.

They went into the stock market and started buying up everything that had to do with heating, utility companies, insulating, home improving, coal mining, oil drilling, trucking, food…etc. Oh, they saw it coming…and they knew it would come big. So, what did they do…they pushed for the war.

They were going to go into Iraq and squander it…rob it…pillage it…destroy those museums and take every artifact, painting, golden vessel and piece of pottery they could find…and smuggle it out of that country.

Then they were going to set themselves up as the saviors and peacekeepers of the place…while all the while looting it and the American taxpayers too with bogus invoices…and double billing ploys…while thousands of American people innocent sons and daughters lost their lives fighting in a senseless war brought about by greed.

It did not make sense for the United States of America to arbitrarily begin a preempted strikeon Iraq…when all the world was against it and most of the American people. Iraq had not done anything to us. Nor were we under threat by them.

What?

For a man and his 2 sons. Two ton bombs were unleashed upon those people, their homes, their businesses, their infrastructure, their schools etc…night after night upon building after building.

That could not have been about Saddam Hussein and his 2 boys. It was greater than them…it had to be. The expense and tally was too great to just desire to depose a tyrant and his sons.

Could it have all been for profit?

As Barack Obama came into office as President of the United States…72 hours later Blackwater pulled out of Iraq…and the others are following. And a country is being left in devastation.

I have heard somewhere about how ‘leaving something in a better statethan when you found it.’

The state of the Iraqi people has changed…but many would argue whether or not it is a better state than when George Bush and his boys went into it.

So, yes…I am happy that the Senate has finally stopped hemming and hawing. Everybody is trying to make some points…it is so…so…like politicians. The Republicans held it up…so the Democrats couldn’t get the credit…when they knew all the time that they were going to have to pass the stimulus package or else face the music again come another election period.

You would think those dog gone Republicans would learn.

They can stop the band…but they can’t stop the music.

Hooray, for the passage of Obama’s stimulus package. Now, maybe some of these companies will not have to continue to lay people off or fire them. Jobs are very much needed…they help to pay the bills. And they are good when you want to go somewhere…you’ll have money to do it with.

February is just one of those months…I suppose that much of it has to do with the passing of my mother during the first of this month some years ago…as to why I tend to be quiet and rarely have much to say. I had been wondering why I had so much to do…and seemed to not want to do any of it. I had forgotten that it was February.

Even with these blogs by this time during a regular month I would have done at least 4 to 5 of them already…but this is only my second since the month has begun. Oh, I am not as bad as I used to be…there was a time not so long ago either that every month and every day was just like the day she had passed. Even my being able to form and shape the word ‘passed’…in my mouth or mind in connection to my mother is something new for me. I could never put the 2 words together…‘she passed’ for years upon years.

I never wanted to accept that she was…was…was gone.

I am who I am because I was given the very best of everything by God. I had the best mother…and the best father.

My parents never discussed with me the fact that I was gay. There was never a mention of it…though they knew. I had bought most of my girlfriends by the house…so, they had met some of them. But they never discussed anything about gayness or gay people with me. They never called anyone names…or talked negatively about anything.

When I called home from Chicago…to tell my mother that I was pregnant. Yes…gay me…pregnant. It is a rather long story…but in short it happened because I became depressed over loosing a lover. I began thinking that maybe the life (gay life) was not for me. So, I decided I would try the other side. And the one time I did…BAM. I was pregnant.

Being gay I was very naive about straight life. I would have never have thought about protection or anything like that…because… Well, because I had never had a boyfriend…and had never dated in my life until I got into gay life…which was sometime during the age of 25. And I had my son when I was 28.

I must say that I am a strong advocate for ‘pro-choice.’ Without choice I may have chosen differently. I did think about abortion…even called the abortion hotline. But when that lady started talking about ‘full anesthesia’ or ‘partial anesthesia.’ And I thought if it was going to hurt either way…then I might as well have the baby.

So, much for my analytical process at that time. But I thank God…I made the right choice. I could not image life without my son…who is the best thing that ever happened to me. And he is definitely a far better person than his mother…honestly.

So, I called home and I tell my mother. I don’t even know what I said…or how I phrased it or whether I just came right out and said it. Nor can I remember what my mother said to me upon hearing that. I am sure that perhaps she may have believed that I might not ever have any children…as I was gay.

Nor can I remember how long it took me to pick up the phone to call my parents to tell them that I was pregnant. I had to have been months…because I knew that they would be disappointed.

But I remember what my father said upon my arrival home during my 7th month of pregnancy…after my mother had sent one of my sisters to Chicago to bring me home.

My father said-

“Now, you will never be alone.”

That was the extent of it.

“Now, you will never be alone.”

He was right. I am not alone. I am now the matriarch of our family…which continues to grow even in their absence. And they would proud.

But during the entire period of my mother’s lifetime…I had never shown much interest as an older child or an adult child in church or church matters. I rarely went…and was so happy when I finally moved out of my parent’s house…just so I wouldn’t have to continue going to church.

Today, the church is my whole focus. I can’t imagine what my mother would say. But I know she would smile and be happy. Because it is true…it is what you put into your children that matters. Yes, they may wander but somehow…what was pour into them when they were young will surface in their lives at some point.

It’s February…Black History Month…and as tears stream out of my eyes as I write this thinking about my mother. I am so thankful for those who walked before us…they poured something in…and today it has surfaced. Many years of insults and degradation. But today…the number one person in the worldis a black man. I am so happy…that my nieces, my nephews…my

son…and us…we are all here to bare witness to this time in American History.

Pictured above is…the grave stone of Benjamin Banneker, Dr. Charles Drew and Dr. George Washington Carver. You can CLICK on the LINK right below to find out as to who they are, their accomplishments and those of other black people in American History.

The weather has broken for a spell…and we are getting a break from the cold…the ice and the snow. The sun has been shining for the past 2 days so lots of snow has been melting. But today…was absolutely beautiful. It felt like spring. And the house has not been quite as cold. I look forward to spring…I actually love all the seasons. Winter…spring…summer…and fall…