Honey, it's part of BDSM. Some of us are into it. Hell, I've been in since I was 15. I'm turning 22 soon. It's ok to want these things as long as you're getting this from someone who does it out of love and a desire to please you, not out of spite or to hurt you.

I hope that you read this Secret Teller. I am also a dominant personality, and a strong feminist. then this guy came along who respected me, and earned my trust. One day, he pinned me, and the results were confusingly exciting. At first i was afraid, and confused. Then he shared his experiences with me. Being a dominant isn't exactly easy either. BDSM is complicated, and requires more love and trust than any other conventional relationship. Never change who you are, just accept what you love and how you love. Some people can tell you it is normal, others will tell you is wonderfully insane. All that matters is that you love it, and accept yourself for who you are. Also, remember that he should ALWAYS take care of you afterwards. And thank him. Make sure he knows you appreciate it. And, go find the second edition of SM 101. It is slightly dated, but has a ton of very useful tips about BDSM. Not to mention some inspiration, and knot tying tutorials.

This scares me to death because I feel like my boyfriend's friends, (and some of them are my friends) feel like this about me because of the way I act. Plus I told them about this one story I wrote about a girl who gets raped and they told me that they think that it was I fantasize about. It is not true and my attempts to clarify their ideas just reenforce them. I told my boyfriend about this and his answer doesn't really clear my doubts a 100%. Plus I'm a virgin...

As a switch myself (person who likes both positions in BDSM depending on the mood), I can say that you're perfectly normal. In fact, it sounds like you guys have an awesome setup and I wish you two the best of luck in your relationship!

I understand that realizing the imbalanced or "abusive" tendencies in BDSM can be unnerving at first, but the key is to communicate with your partner so that you're both clear that your treatment of each other is mutually agreed upon, appreciated, and even loved. Letting yourself be scared of or even hurt by your partner during a steamy session can be a great turn-on; it does not mean you're setting yourself up for an abusive relationship. As long as you and your partner are honest and open with each other about what you like and what you don't, you should be all set.

I am into BDSM as well, and it was scary at first because I didn't think it was normal. Now I have a dominant partner, and I love what he calls me and what he does to me. It is completely normal, my dear!

Then don't change. It's part of who you are, and anyone who doesn't agree is an idiot. People will say things like "that's not normal" or "you're different", but what is "normal" and what is "different"? And far as I'm concerned, everyone's different, and that is what's "normal".

sounds wonderful. I have a man like that, but in public we are usually equals although I would be just as happy if he stayed in control all the time. I even with he would be more violent with his slave. <3

Most people I know (me included) feel uncomfortable at the mere thought of being bound. Not to talk of being bullied and beaten and God-knows what kind of sick stuff. Not everybody would tell you if they had such notions, but I don't think there are that many people being masochist beyond the border of playfullness (wouldn't there be a lack of sadists then?). That, however, is seen as fun, but not much. Live seems to be rough enough for the majority. From what I have observed the mere roleplaying all the time would cost most people too much strength and nerves. Watching a report on TV on that subject the other night showed the avarage person doesn't even have the patience to endure the ritualistic foreplay some couples have developed. I would be easily bored. And surely to tired for sex of what kind soever

I don't believe BDSM and related stuff is for more than a minority. Greetings to you!

You misunderstood, I meant that people act very different in certain situations, for example, at home I've been told apon very talkative, funny, and extremely arrogant, when I'm at school, I feel as though I'm easily annoyed and I challenge anything that's stand between me and what I want to do, and when I'm around new people, I'm very quiet and cautious, trying to judge the character of that person to see whether I care if they're pissed at me or not, this girl in public is the dominant one, she treats her boyfriend like a little doggy and he trails around wherever she goes, but in closed doors, she's the one being pushed around, willingly doing what she's told and realizes this, see what I mean? People want to be seen as strong on the outside but on the inside, behind the mask, they're weak and small, but they don't want people to know this, it's how mankind works

Oh, I see. Well, yes, you're right, of course. Got that wrong. Most people hide behind an every-day mask for the outer world. And it is sad people feel the need to do so. On the other hand, it is not only to hide weakness but to make life easier. If we gave up on that beahviour and everyone came up with what they really feel we would go insane within a week !

This is the exact same way I am hun, Don't worry about it. It's only bad when the relationship it's self becomes abusive and you start to distrust the person or hate yourself.If you're happy then that's fine C:

I completely understand. I think BDSM can be a very powerful, emotional thing - the relationship between dominant and submissive is personal and special, as it's a closer connection than most people have. Don't worry, you're completely normal And personally (from my experience), people into that sort of thing are usually the most interesting.

That's perfectly normal in my opinion, If you're happy that's all that matters, and it matters to him as well by the looks of thing so if you're both happy I wouldn't say either of you needed to change one bit ^-^

Hell, if you're happy screw the rest! I consider myself an independent person, but I too have the desire to just give up control sometimes....and if you guys know where the line is and don't actually really hurt each other who cares? You don't have to explain to anyone your private life.

What you're doing is healthy, so long as you have a partner that agrees with it, too. As long as you feel he is doing it because he likes you, and wants to do these things to you to make you happy then your relationship sounds perfect. I understand why it's confusing. You just need to make sure you understand the difference between a man that wants to please you and will stop if he goes too far and a man that is out to hurt you.This guy sounds like a keeper though.