If there really are creatures living inside my ear, what should I name them? We have been very, very close over the last couple of days. It doesn’t seem right not to have a proper name to call them by.

Maybe there is an entire society living in my ear. Cute little towns stuck in my earwax. Farming ear mites. The little people can hear my thoughts. My corrupting influence leads them to violence and war. And then the rumbling sound stops. Forever.

Maybe I should stick a q-tip up there and jiggle it around a bit.

Mayhaps I shall go Van Gogh on this ear. That’ll learn it.

It’s the sound of my brain trying to escape. I just know it.

I’m probably just coming down with a cold and should chill out about worrying about the goo in my skull.

So, like, my sinuses and my ear on one side of my head are full of goo and it’s very unpleasant.

I don’t think I have a cold, because my nose isn’t running. I just woke up and there was a bunch of goo collected in parts of my head. I have allergies, maybe that’s it.

My does my faces even need sinuses. Can I have them removed or filled in with caulking?

Every couple of seconds, my ear makes this weird rumbling noise and I can’t get it to stop. I mean, I think it’s just goo stuck in there. I hope it’s just goo in there. I hope it’s not actually spiders trying to claw their way out of my skull. Although, having a swarm of spiders bursting from my head and attacking my enemies might be cool.

How do I get all this goo out? I tried a warm compress, but it didn’t do anything. I’ve tried drinking several hot beverages to try and steam the goo out, but that didn’t work either. I’ll try shoving a pipe cleaner up there later.

Maybe this is just my life now. From this day forth, I’m just Lala McGooface.