We really like Hashim Amla, but by the box of Dujon, will he EVER stop batting?

There’s one more match this summer and we have every reason to believe that he’ll bat out the overs and make a hundred. It seems the most likely outcome, even if it’s another nine over match. He averaged 120.50 in the Test series, 111.66 in the one-day series and he made 47 not out off 30 balls today. He’s probably racking up hundreds on Little Master Cricket in the drinks breaks.

Aside from anything else, it’s a massive feat of endurance. A long innings is mentally and physically wearying and even if you recover the next day, you don’t fully recover. Experience repeated success on a long tour and it chips away at you. We can only presume that there must have been a lot of Hashim Amla to begin with.

14 Appeals

It’s confirmed. Amla’s unstoppable. Only against England though, so far! I can’t believe he pays $500 every month as a fine for not abiding to CSA rules (due to religion) AND opting out of the IPL!!! What a role model. Respect.

0.19 8 Runs, this one takes a nasty bounce off the 17th ball, the batsman does well to reassemble his arms and legs into a vaguely human shape. A flat drive along the floor goes for SIX as it hits and bounces up from the 18th ball, which itself goes for two.

0.20 No Run, a slower ball this time

0.21 OUT, gone this time, as the 17th ball which was still there gets nudged under the bat by the well hit 21st ball rebounding from the 20th ball which was still making its way towards the batsman.

I’m afraid that would lead to a problem, Daneel, which in mathematics is known by the technical term The Tavare Test Cricket Paradox (*). In simple terms, if the score calculation is done under the axioms of any field, the score must remain undefined for at least the first million deliveries (**).

(*) Not to be confused with the non-mathematical Tavare Test Cricket Paradox, which is that if a game of cricket is to be played on any field, the reasons for Chris Tavare’s inclusion in the team must remain undefined.

(**) This limit is expected by most mathematicians to be much higher than this, but nobody so far has been able to stay awake long enough to prove it.

I did the sums for Mohamed Yousuf once. His batting average increased significantly after his change of confession and resultant increase in beardiness. His catching deteriorated though.
This evidence, derived as it is from a misapplication of causality on a sample of one, should of course be universally applied. Bell and Cook should be fed hormones to improve their beardiness and non-batting members of the slip cordon should be plucked and waxed.