(Newser)
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Christopher Columbus is seen by some as the person who opened the door to the genocide of Native Americans—and as such, those people celebrate today as Indigenous Peoples’ Day rather than Columbus Day. On Mediaite, Philip Bump appreciates that sentiment, but notes that it’s a little “knee-jerk.” After all, if we’re honest, “the door of genocide … would have been opened sooner or later,” because “people are—and always have been—selfish jerks.” Europeans and Americans oppressed Native Americans and did “horrible things to them,” Bump acknowledges. But he has a better idea for today’s holiday.

Columbus Day, he notes, was actually founded as a celebration of Catholics. Amidst rampant anti-Catholic sentiment in the 19th century as a surge of Catholics immigrated to America, the Knights of Columbus wanted to recognize the fact that a Catholic discovered the continent. Instead of honoring one individual, by celebrating it instead as Immigration Day, we would be acknowledging that immigrants have “always made us stronger." It would be especially appropriate today, as Mexican immigration spurs many of the same fears that Catholic and Irish immigration did all those years ago. On Immigration Day, Bump writes, we can celebrate the fact that “Columbus unveiled a new world. Americans made it open to everyone."

Ah, yes, the dear, sweet Native Americans, who lived a life harmonious not only with each other but also the earth, until the evil white man arrived and introduced greed and evil into their world! Wow--that almost sounds, like, too good to be true, doesn't it? Many of the tribes were in reality locked in perpetual warfare with each other and engaged in activities such as systematic torture and rape quite regularly. However, as I know this has interfered with the poster of Red Cloud's wisdom you absorbed in your college dorm, please feel free to ignore it and press "play" on your Phish soundtrack.