But really, folks, this here post does in fact musically reveals 6 of the most popular and time-tested drunken sailor solutions. And it does it with that instrument folks love to hate: "the glory-beaming banjo" (who but Mark Twain would put it like that?) That's what I do with a drunken sailor!

Jet-lag induced nightmares that wake you at 4 a.m. Acid coursing thru your innards. Your ship of state taken over by pirates. Not the usual stuff that inspires a songwriter. But those Muses are tricky. You can never tell what they're going to do. Here's how they helped me create The Ballad of Shillelagh O'Toole.

Little seemed to be known about the Irish pirate who is the hero of my new pirate song. Eventually, my research pointed to one man: Dr. Padraig Finagle, Ass. Professor of Alternative History and Brewing at the Auxiliary Maritime Institute and Public House of Skibbereen, Ireland. Prof. Finagle has graciously allowed me to reprint his widely ignored paper, in which he reveals the history of Ireland's cruelest pirate: Seamlus "Shillelagh" O'Toole.

Here is part 2 of Prof. Finagle's amazing 3-part series revealing of the heretofore untold alternative history of Ireland's forgotten pirate, whose only weapon was a big old blackthorn shillelagh. READ PART 1

I wanted to learn something about the Irish pirate who is the hero of my new pirate song, but little seemed to be known about him. Eventually, my research all pointed to one man: Dr. Padraig Finagle, of Skibbereen, Ireland.

Prof. Finagle has graciously allowed me to reprint his widely ignored paper, in which he reveals the history of Ireland's cruelest pirate: Séamlus "Shillelagh" O'Toole. Here's Part 1 of the 3-part series.