The Seekers: Sungraze

Hailing from a line of extremely academic and intelligent life forms, Sungraze was ordered by his ancestors to seek out and acquire the Diurnal Drive, a magical encyclopedia which has the power to manipulate time and space, in order to rewrite history, erasing all unintelligent life.

Armed with a missing page of the drive, decades of unique combat training and a wealth of negotiation tactics, Sungraze was dispatched to the Surface. After effortlessly disabling the Diurnal Drive’s defences and stealthily skirmishing his way through the Primordial Planisphere, Sungraze was greeted by one of the planet’s most formidable guardians, Lacie Caramelle…

…half asleep on top of the drive, covered in potato chips.

Hearing about Sungraze’s plans for the perfect universe, but too groggy to draw her weapon (which at the time was an empty soda bottle), Lacie invited the deadly Seeker to lie down beside her and, quote, “cool his tits”. Having never experienced relaxation before, Sungraze skeptically reclined and took in the silent and soothing atmosphere of the Diurnal Drive’s shrine.

For the first time in his life, Sungraze’s mind went blank. Not because he was filled with tranquility, but because Lacie had cracked his skull open with a bottle, tied him up and fired him back into space after robbing the poor bird of his Diurnal Drive page, making sure he never interrupts her naps again.