Saturday, 24 August 2013

HEALTH CHECK 1,2...1,2....

Today, just like most saturdays, a lot of people will seal their love in Matrimony. I wonder if any of these
couples-to-be have done any intensive health checks and have fully disclosed their health status to their partners. I am not referring to HIV status; If he
or she has it, the other partner may have it by now considering the sad fact
that sexual abstinence has now been consigned to the Museum.

I am referring to a more general Health status:

Does the man know,
beyond his gargantuan erections, whether he is potent or not?

Can the woman
conceive and hold a baby?

Is there a history of
previous abortions that needs to come out? In Africa where abortion is
not a particularly pleasant topic, hence people hide to do it, you may want
to check whether the quark doctor left something in there after all the scraping with his horrendously crude instruments.

All you see is a man
who is always at his best whenever you steal time for your illeg-intimates
encounters; is he on Viagra or some other sexually enhancing drugs? Because
as a married couple you cannot depend on these to crank the engine.... you
can't jump start your car every morning. Young man, are you on something? Disclose!

Have you checked your
sickling?

Is any of you undergoing any therapy and what are the health implications of the therapy
especially on your reproductive health

Does any of you have any history of a fatal injury that may have some debilitating effect on you in the near future?

Has any of you had to deal
with any STD/UTI and how did it go? How long was the battle, did it
lead to some deeper complications, did the doctors talk of any future
repercussions etc

Have you been on any
birth control programme? When? How Long? What was the nature?

is any of you on any health
time bomb.... Because for some of the conditions or ailments make every
day in your life and that of your partner a miracle.

Does your partner's
general state of health, make them prone to certain crises under certain environmental
conditions - eg are they asthmatic, are they susceptible to various allergic
reactions, do they have sickle cell anaemia etc. This means they cannot do
certain chores, as they may trigger these crises

Can being pregnant
endanger the woman's health?

All these and many
more are questions you need to ask. For some people, love covers everything; it
is true, but to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Marriage is not for the faint
hearted and you are better off knowing exactly what you are getting into before
you go in to discover them.

Unbelievably, [And I do
not mind if you disagree with this reality] some people love certain aspect of
marriage rather than the complete marriage itself, and they [go on to] see that
singular thing as the major thing that defines the entire marriage. For some
people, that singular thing that gives meaning to the whole institution of marriage
is the bliss of having a BIOLOGICAL baby. If it is the woman who has such a
view, and she is not getting it because her husband only fires rubber bullets,
then she does not mind going behind him [DNA tests notwithstanding, putting the
man in a terrible dilemma: do I divorce her for the world to know I am impotent
or stay and be insulted by the presence of an illegitimate child]. Some men do
not hesitate getting a child from somewhere and keeping it hidden until he is
10 years and suddenly shows up like a concealed shameful habit. Much as there
are many modern ways of solving childbearing related issues, the question is
how many people worldwide can access them, in terms of availability and
affordability. Therefore, the problem of infidelity/Divorce/spousal abuse arising out of
childbearing related problems is very real in most part of the world.

For some people, what
defines their marriage is the joy is sexual gratification. To have a man who
cannot sustain a journey to Tarkwa and land a sister safely there, is not a plan she
wants to work with. B3ma gyina wo nanso di asa ma y3 mma wo mopia na di3n ni? Much as men really care more about getting to that point
and erupting like an active volcano, they still prefer women who are active
participants in the heating process than women who is just lay flat like a
thick frozen coal tar. Yaa ki ka wo ho kakra na wo koraa wo y3 nipa b3n...b)teee saa 3di3n nkoaa?

Some people just want
to know so they stay on their guard. They attempt to seek early solutions prior to and after the marriage and
excuses in case family and friends get nosy. It makes them take the shock of
such revelations better. Do not forget people reason clearer when they do not
fear they do not have options. When there is the fear of being trapped in a
dead-end marriage, some people can go berserk before they calm down, by which
time they would have done the unthinkable. Panic.

Some People also want
to know so they do not go into their marital homes with illusions and wishful
expectations. Once that knowledge is available to them, they put in the needed
financial, emotional, psychological and social efforts to be able to cope and manage
such a partner.

For some people, it is a simple, 'Lemme know so I see if I can stay or leave cus there is no way I want to spend my life with a man or a woman with this condition.' It may be a painful thing to hear from the lips of someone who professes to love you; but at least it would save you the inevitable heartache that will follow if you continue to marry them.

I accept that it is easier
said, and I know of people's fear of the all-too-certain consequence of
divulging such personal health information; the fear of losing the person they
have grown to like. The codicil of such a loss might be the person going away
with such sensitive information and potentially sharing it with someone.

I appreciate the consternation
of anyone who might find him or herself in such a situation; nonetheless you
must let someone love you in utmost good faith. Let the person love you for who
you truly are. Some people divorce their partners or switch off not because
their partners have certain health conditions or might have put themselves in
some health situations; they do that because they kept such information away
from them, knowing such information might have changed a lot. Well it is still
your loss and the person might still walk away with that same information. So
the ultimate question is, ‘which one do you like; To be heartbroken and have
him/her walk away with that personal info, or to be divorced or cheated
on...and the person still walking away with that info? Remember the fact
that they walked away does not mean they are going to tell people. I think most
people are reasonable.

Let us love and let us
do it wholeheartedly. Let us date mature people we can trust with our lives. What
are you doing planning to marry a person you cannot trust with your life and
the stories therein?This article is just to set the ball rolling; the rest is for you to do. For starters, consult a qualified Medical Practitioner [someone actively engaged in reproductive health and family planning would be a plus] and ask them all the questions you can think of and let them tell you all there is to know...just so you know.

About PGPEDIA Foundation

This is a Non-Profit Organisation run by PG Sebastian, an Author and Christian Relationship Coach. It is dedicated to helping singles and marriage couples build formidable relationships and homes based on sound and solid principles. We do this through blogging, print publications, face-to-face and on-phone counselling, TV appearances and Radio shows, outreaches and other speaking engagements. Our activities are generally free and depend greatly on the generosity of wonderful people like you to keep us running. Follow PG Sebastian on all the popular social media platforms and be inspired to do more. Please do well to leave a feedback, drop us an email and... of course, click on the donate button.