When I’m finally on my beloved Oklahoma soil, I’ll be sharing a retrospective on all the embarrassing things that have happened to me on airplanes throughout the course of my life, ending with an incident that occurred this morning as I was flying over Siberia just before daylight.

But first, I have a cosmic question:

Why do these things happen to me?

Is it something I did as a baby?

The shrieking in my dad’s ear when he returned from Vietnam?

Routinely cutting off my bangs with my mom’s sewing shears?

Putting lipstick and nail polish on my brother Mike when he was asleep?

Definitely vague. Here I was searching to see if there’s more to the post thinking maybe I’m just not fully awake yet. (Crazy me went to bed after 3 am knowing darn well I had to be up before 6 am to get the McKids -aka the 3J’s off to school on the school bus this morn.)

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joods On Monday, September 6 at 10:46 am

Miss Ree,
You ARE somebody…just being you is enough.
Cannot wait to hear the details of your retrospective.
Sincerely,
Miss Joods

Marie M.C. On Monday, September 6 at 11:50 am

Karen On Monday, September 6 at 2:55 pm

Ain’t that the truth…to hell and back describes nearly every airport…..except the small one up in my neck of the woods. It is in Fargo ND and an absolute gem to travel through. It is to bad that all trips can’t start and end there. On our last trip to CA the ticket agent met me at the door and checked my bag and that of my husband’s before the car was even parked (and by the way—-he parked less than one block from the front door).

MJ On Monday, September 6 at 10:56 am

Well, you do have an iced drink, you are surrounded by leather seats, not looking like you are in the cattle car……..thinking life is pretty darn good for the SOMEBODY who is trying to blog that maybe she isn’t.
Ree, what would it take to believe?

City Girl to Country Girl On Monday, September 6 at 10:57 am

ellie may On Monday, September 6 at 1:08 pm

iPad & iPhone…both dropped with broken glass…that was a sad post a few weeks ago…hang in there ree!

S. On Monday, September 6 at 4:09 pm

Looks like P.W. had another incident with both. Check out her twitter.:-(

City Girl to Country Girl On Monday, September 6 at 11:32 pm

Was just reading the L.A. Times and noticed you were down the street from my place yesterday. LOL. Would have loved to go, but after driving all night from LV, sleep took over and I didn’t even remember to go.

Becky in VA On Monday, September 6 at 11:01 am

This was your second iPad, right? I’m wondering if country girls just shouldn’t be so technologically advanced? It’s like you’re messing with the universe or something. =) Just kidding. But I am guessing a third iPad is not in your future.

Bobbye Crawford On Monday, September 6 at 11:18 am

Just set down on terra firma…and I’ll bring over a huge pan of your spicy BBQ’d shrimp that I’m putting together right now and you’ll be all better.

It’s in the 60s and sunny here in Old Hickory, TN and a friend in OKC tells me you Ok folks are enjoying the same – so open the windows and doors and breathe in that fabulous breeze coming off the hay fields!

Ree, I love ya for a whole buncha things but most of all for BBQ’d Shrimp – it makes my life complete!!! Well, Omar Shariff would put a little top spin on things but I’ll have to make do with loving this wonderful, gorgeous bird-singing their hearts out day!

awww… I think it’s just flying and airports—brings out the worst, frustrating, most annoying stuff in us. Hope you rest up well!

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Janet On Monday, September 6 at 11:23 am

Did you sing Ethel Merman on the airplane to the whole crowd?

Just a thought….can’t wait to hear the story.

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Helen On Monday, September 6 at 11:27 am

First of all, I was wondering if MM was with you on this plane? Then I want to ask you something, but I can’t really say what it is since this is a “family” blog of sorts. I have HEARD that there is some kind of a “club” you can belong to. It has to do with couples and airplane bathrooms. That is all I am saying! (and no, I am not a member of this club, promise!)

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Libby On Monday, September 6 at 11:28 am

Are you kidding?! You make my day, nearly every day whether by posting a funny story or by your love of your family and your life…you make me want to love life as much as you do!

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Karen On Monday, September 6 at 11:29 am

Ree, this is my Facebook status today, you’re not alone:

Karen was dismayed but not at all surprised to discover that she had worn her big, blue dangly church earrings all day long, with running shorts and a pink Life Is Good t-shirt, to places including, but not limited to, the grocery store (twice), on a long family walk, and while visiting with the neighbors in the street.

And really, shouldn’t the embarrassing incidents themselves be the penance?

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Bonnie On Monday, September 6 at 11:30 am

Never cut my own bangs with my mother’s sewing shears. But I did cut the girl next door’s bangs with her mother’s sewing shears. On a Friday. Before Easter Sunday. Yup.
I think I was 5. My only defense? “She asked me to.”

I love the look of clouds from above!!!! And from underneath too! Look forward to hearing about your trip to whereever!

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Helen On Monday, September 6 at 11:31 am

Just had another thought for ya, Ree~~~~~if I guess correctly what misfortune you encountered on your flight, can i win an ipad? I think I want one of those and so far noone has convinced me otherwise.

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Staci On Monday, September 6 at 11:32 am

Can’t wait to hear about adventures! and yes, did you sing Ethel Merman on the airplane???

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Sharletta On Monday, September 6 at 11:33 am

Hope your day will only get better.

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Sandy On Monday, September 6 at 11:35 am

weren’t you just in siberia recently? =o)
i cut my bangs more than once with my mom’s pinking shears…much more dramatic than plain ole’ scissors!

Francheska On Monday, September 6 at 11:53 am

SIBERIA? What shenanigans are you up to now Ree?

You never stop surprising me haha!

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cecelia On Monday, September 6 at 11:57 am

It is SO strange that the chorus inside can get loud when, in reality, one is churning out accomplishments, learning, changing and best of all, inspiring others. I hope the story doesn’t include too much fear-on-the-airplane – that is not fun.

lisa On Monday, September 6 at 1:05 pm

Odd things tend to come with travel. Something about putting yourself in a different place in time. The good is that those “odd things” often bring the amazing things you would not have experienced otherwise!

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Karin from South Africa On Monday, September 6 at 1:13 pm

Hi Ree! My american cousin, Marysol, who introduced me to your amazing blog, is IN LABOUR TONIGHT! I am so happy for them I just had to share that with you! Her blog is at http://www.blomerus.org.

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Denise On Monday, September 6 at 1:16 pm

PennyPue On Monday, September 6 at 1:26 pm

I never did cut my bangs with the kitchen scissors, or any other scissors. I was actually a very well behaved child. Ergo, I have tasked myself with making up for my misspent youth. And I’m havin’ a blast. Surprised they don’t try to ship me off the Siberia now……but then I’d just find a way to make trouble there too while trying to stay warm!

I cut my bangs in THIRD grade. Day before picture day. Top that off with the fact that I had several missing teeth at the time and also for some reason, which will never be unearthed from the realms of my former childhood psyche, I wore a sun dress over a turtle neck to school that fateful picture day. They could use that particular picture as a weapon in Afghanistan. It would scare people that badly.

My two children were born in Siberia! We had a blast over there for a total of 4 weeks!
You would never guess! Baskin Robins, Mc Donalds, Subway…but the most intresting part the best German food and Steak I ever had…and we are from Nebraska!
-kristina-

Kristina On Tuesday, September 7 at 10:57 am

In a previous life, I flew all over the world. Europe, Africa, the Mediterrenean, etc. We never go anywhere anymore. At least not anywhere that we’d need to fly too. Why? Because we are convinced that airports are actually portals to hell. If not hell itself. I would rather have a root canal than wait in line in a freaking airport. What used to be be wonderful, easy and enjoyable is now excruciatingly painful and annoying.

Leah S On Monday, September 6 at 2:47 pm

Mary Kellogg On Monday, September 6 at 3:02 pm

I often wonder why things happen to me too… do these things happen to “normal” people, or is it just me? I can only imagine what happened to you this time, I only hope that it was a good laugh and nothing too horribly embarrassing.

Perhaps a support group is needed for the many of us here who had close encounters with our mother’s sewing shears during our youth – then had to endure the long months of waiting for things to grow back to normal?

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S. On Monday, September 6 at 3:32 pm

SIBERIA???? I THINK I GET IT……THE CLOUD THING………NOT REALLY SIBERIA.
AT LEAST I HOPE NOT…….HAVEN’T FLOWN FOR 20 YEARS. TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN.

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Becky On Monday, September 6 at 3:40 pm

I hate to admit that I’m old enough to remember when airports and commercial flying were not unpleasant experiences.

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Jeanie Eyraud On Monday, September 6 at 3:42 pm

where’d ya go p-dub? and why do these things happen to you? for our amusement of course. you make me laugh regularly, and i treasure that!

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nicole On Monday, September 6 at 3:49 pm

So either you were really flying over Siberia or you could see Russia from your hotel, lol.

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JoAnneinCT On Monday, September 6 at 3:54 pm

where’d you go, Ree???

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Jaime On Monday, September 6 at 4:02 pm

Dear Pioneer Woman,

How do you find the strength to be away from your husband and kids for weeks, or even months at a time? Teach me your secrets.