record reviews moderated by sloan's JAY FERGUSON

FERGUSON'S 45s
(Jay Ferguson rounded up three quotable notables
to get their opinions on some new releases.)
The Panelists:
--------------
Rob Benvie: Thrush Hermit guitar god wannabe and male model
Stinkin' Rich: Hip Hop freak stylist and kung fu expert
Little Orton Hoggett: Bitter country legend and cold war enthusiast
Jay Ferguson: Former _Sassy_ poster boy and media assassin
PINK FLOYD "What Do You Want From Me" _The Division Bell_ Columbia
Rich: Could you put it on 45 so I could dance to it? They slippin'.
Wack. Played out.
Benvie: Oh my gosh, it's so dated. "Play those strings until my fingers
are raw", you can tell David Gilmour has been sweating it out on
this composition. This sounds identical to anything they've done
since Syd Barrett left the band. (I know, I was heavily into
"Shine On You Crazy Diamond" in junior high.)
Hoggett: What do you want from me? Well, Mr. Floyd, I want my money back.
SONIC YOUTH "Bull In The Heather" _Experimental Jet Set etc_ Geffen
Ferguson: Quiet by Sonic Youth standards -- maracas and sparse squeaky
guitars make this a sharp single. In the video, Thurston has
his hair spiked like GBH = bonus points.
Rich: Believe it or not, this is the first time I've listened to
Sonic Youth. I kinda dissed SY in this magazine about a year
ago. I like the beats. I kinda dig Kim Gordon. I guess I dig it.
Hoggett: Bull in the heather. Not the fiddle tune I thought it was.
I'm at the end of my tether.
PRIMAL SCREAM "Rocks" Sire
Ferguson: Total guilty pleasure. Stones beats and T-Rex riffs. Shameless
Scottish lads who want the world to know they have great record
collections.
Rich: They ridin' da Stones jock. Dats wack...Bitin' their style like
that. I like it funky and this ain't. I wouldn't want this
playing on the radio with my little sister listening. Gross.
HARDSHIP POST "Silver Suit" _Why Don't You and I Smooth Things Over_ murder
Ferguson: I'm kind of biased on this one. The brain of old Joe Jackson and
the body of Devo = new wave Frankenstein resurrection. The single
of the summer.
Benvie: Very cool, clean sound and very quick, Devoesque rhythm. Sebastian
Lippa, Mike Pick, and Matt Clarke leap one step ahead of the scene
(and the world) by putting this sucker out as the single. Hot stuff.
SCHOOLY D "I Wanna Get Dusted" _Welcome to America_ Ruffhouse/Columbia
Ferguson: Sounds like he already has. The most consistently unpolitically
correct rapper. Not as tough as "The Saturday Night Album" but
still kind of charming.
Benvie: D gets my respect for being ultimately old school, the boy has got
zero skills, but makes up for it with a potent message -- he wants
to get dusted, he's GOTTA get dusted. Live band, bare bones
turntable, four-on-the-floor rhyming. This album is half-assed,
it's cool. "Smoke Some Kill" remains his classic.
Hoggett: There's an old Cartor Family standard by this name... What's
happened to this world? Mr. D, a little advice -- You can't record
on Mars. I wanna get my money back.
Rich: School is the Cheap Trick of Hip Hop. Kinda cool, ten years ago.
He used to hate rock'n'roll and now he's wack. He must have gotten
hit in the head real hard or something. He used to put out dope
records but now he forgets how. The King is dead.
ROLLINS BAND "Liar" _Weight_ Imago/BMG
Ferguson: Rollins' Cross again. If you like his last record you'll dig this.
Give me D.O.A. anyday.
Rich: Is Henry trying to rap? No skills here. I don't know. Interesting.
It gets kinda funky.
Benvie: Hank does Barry White in the intro. He obviously feels strongly
about what he's doing, but his lyrics always maintain that teenage
diary confessional quality. I suppose that's part of the appeal.
He sure is ripped though.
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