Got Green?

Whether you worship the 420, or just enjoy a good David Attenborough documentary after exams, one thing is apparent: Welly is out of weed.

North Island spokesperson for the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party, Alistair Gregory, explains Wellington is “certainly” facing a shortage of cannabis at the moment.

Gregory attributes the lack of wacky backy to police involvement within the region, with numerous growers having recently been “about to harvest” only to get “busted”.

Stoners are feeling the pinch. Cuzz, a weed user and dealer living in Lyall Bay, says there has been much “anguish and frustration” among fellow Wellington green fiends. “There’s been a lot of pacing in the lounge, lots of group texts trying to suss tinnies.”

“At the moment, we’re scraping what we can off the grinder.” Further up the hierarchy, S, a cultivator and dealer living in Te Aro, is also trying desperately to acquire the green stuff. He admits the shortage is “particularly bad” this year, though early March is “always a struggle” when sourcing consistent buds.

S explains that majority of New Zealand’s cannabis production is grown “outdoors”, which means the plants are grown over summer and then harvested from late March to June. At present, Wellington has “fuck-all stocks left from last season” and “only indoor to fill the gap.”

S believes that New Zealand is yet to advance its “indoor” resources to the point of meeting consumer demands. “Our indoor game is still weak.”

Asked where he grew his weed, S was elusive. “These plants [cannabis sativa] are hearty little motherfuckers. If they can grow on the slopes of the Himalayas, then they can grow in the overgrown parking lot behind your flat.”

As to the current situation, S reassured Salient “give it a few weeks, bro, and we will be in the green; the gangs will harvest and it will flood down.”

Dan, a student at Victoria and regular pot user, says the current marijuana drought “fucking sucks” as “there is just nothing around”, Though he was hopeful dealers would be “holding” in the coming weeks.

So fear not: by the end of March you can go back to weeknight trips to McDonald’s, listening to Dre’s The Chronic and reaching that next star on Call of Duty.

Under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1975, it is illegal to possess, cultivate or traffic cannabis.

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The student magazine of Victoria University of Wellington. Salient is available on campus free each Monday during term. Funded in part by Victoria University of Wellington students, through the Student Services Levy.