Jon Aquino's Mental Garden

Sunday, July 11, 2010

When somebody says something that you disagree with

When somebody says or writes something that you disagree with, some possible ways you might deal with it internally are:

(a) You can become upset about it. This isn't a great option.

(b) You can pity the other person. Again, not a great option. A bit of a cop out.

(c) You can laugh at what was said. Better than (b) if you can manage it. But when it's not really funny, this isn't an option.

(d) You can doubt your own position. Not necessary at this stage—there are more appropriate responses.

(e) You can “agree to disagree”. This is a good initial reaction.

With the last option, you don't discount the beliefs of the other person or your own. Instead, you put the issue into a holding state, giving yourself time to reflect on the issue when your head is cooler—either now, or at a later date. In this way, you don't let yourself get stuck on the issue.

I find that this way of thinking is helpful when reading random comments on the web.