It’s actually not the end of the world; it’s something people apparently do. If this month’s True Love is to be believed, there’s this lady who found her love online. At the age of 34, she had never been in a relationship (never had a boyfriend) and moved half way across the world to Kenya to be with her intended who she found on the web. They’ve had 2 weddings (to each other) and now have a son. I give it a dry twist, but it is a cool story. And the man in question is rather fetching if photoshop was not employed. So why not? I must wonder though at how one goes through 34 years without ever having been in a relationship. Isn’t that super tough? I expect that the reasons we have exes is to learn about the other sex and improve our relationship skills. And I don’t mean in bed, I mean just.Men and women are so desperately different, you need training wheels before marriage.

So far, my attempts have not been very successful. I’m yet to meet any of the people I’ve chatted with. Quite frankly, there’s only 1 I’d be interested in meeting, but let’s see how that pans out. If the blog changes name to 30-Something Wife, you’ll know things went well :-) But I have had interesting conversations and that’s not always easy to come by, much less with strangers.

It’s a little funny that I’m not embarrassed by my attempts to find love online. I figured that I would be all hush hush about it and that if anything worked out with a loose Liz, we’d have to come up with a fake story of how we met for family, friends and children’s benefit. Asking the web had in my mind been a sure sign of failure. Now I don’t really care. Maybe the sense of impropriety fades with age ..

She slips into the back of the Audi saloon and allows the driver to close the door for her. “Heathrow,” she tells him once he’s back in his seat, and gives him the terminal number. He flicks the indicator stalk with his left hand and pulls out into the traffic, accelerating smoothly away from the hotel. The leather seats cosset her as the car slips through the summer air. The big petrol engine is little more than a low purr, even when her chauffeur drops a gear to overtake a mid-afternoon laggard.

German efficiency, she thinks.

As she speeds towards the airport and the flight home, she thinks of one man somewhere behind her and wonders what he is doing. She regards the back of her driver’s head. The profile is similar. Even the skin tone, lightly tanned with dark stubble showing.

Pacing about the room and with different thoughts flooding through my mind, I looked at Wambui and shook my head.

“Its impossible Sweetheart,” I said, “you’ve got a husband and I don’t know what he might do if he hears about this”

“Never worry…,” She said.

I tried my best not to look at her as I knew that I might get turned on if I looked at her face and her boobs.

“Look at me,” she continued.

I then looked at her and tried my best to be as strong as I could be and for the first time, try my best not have an erection when an erection is “knocking”.

“As I told you earlier, you know Wale is not always around… It seems he loves his job more than he loves me,” she said.

She then looked at my face to see if what she has said has an effect on me.

Keeping a straight face, I could only say “Hmmmn”

“Can you believe that I haven’t had sex in 3 months… I really thought about this before taking this step that I’m taking,” She paused and then wiped the tears that was already forming on her eyes.

“I never planned for my marriage to be like this, I was hoping for the perfect relationship where I’ll have my husband all to myself,”

She sobbed.

Feeling uncomfortable, I said “Please stop crying, you are really getting me uncomfortable”

Cleaning her eyes, she looked up at me from her seat,

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it,” she said.

I then looked at her and remembered when she just moved into our house last year, she was about 25 then, according to what I heard from my mum and I found her rather pretty then but I decided to stay off her because she was married and partly also because her husband, Mr Wale, isn’t an easy person to deal with.Now here she is, presenting her body to me on a platter of Gold.

“Erm erm… But why me?,” I said, looking rather confused.

Like she was expecting that question, she cleared her throat and adjusted herself on the chair.

“I see the way you look at me whenever we meet and I have caught you looking at my ass a few times; I might be dumb but I sure know when a guy likes me,” She said.

Not knowing what to say, I kept quiet and kept looking at her from my standing position.

She was right, I found her very hot and she wasn’t old according to what I heard from my mum. She was of average height with long hair that gave her an indian look and from what I see through her clothes, she had the big boobs, the kind that makes you believe that boobs are the best things created.

I was very confused and my mind started drifting before she spoke again.

“Don’t you like me?” She said.

I didn’t know what to say as the question was not expected so I could only mumble

“Of course, I like u but its more than you and I,”

“So what’s it,” she replied

“I’m scared of Mr. Wale, he’s the very strict type and I do not want any trouble with him,” I said truthfully even though I felt like a weakling for saying it.

She then stood up and moved closer to me, “Don’t worry, Wale won’t know anything,” She said “I want you to trust me on this,”.

Placing her hands on my shoulder, She said, “Do you trust me?”

I could only nod as I was already filled with thoughts of fucking her silly because I was already getting as aroused as lame twitter boys checking out odina barbie’s avis but I wasn’t sure if I should make the first move.

She tried to confirm what I said in my eyes and I didn’t take my eyes off. Then she gently planted a soft kiss on my lips and looked at me again. She saw the lust in my eyes, grinned and the started kissing me on the lips, I found it hard to resist as my dick was already getting hard so I reciprocated and started kissing her back. We held each other tight and close while our tongues kept dancing “azonto” in each other’s mouth. I could not believe my luck and even though I was scared of what might happen if her husband finds out, I didn’t seem to care anymore, I just wanted to enjoy the moment.

While kissing her, I was able to find out a lot about her body and I couldn’t wait to see her beyond her clothes, its like I just got a present that was wrapped with a chocolate coated wrapper, I wanna lick the wrapper first even though I had it in mind to see the gift inside. Just as if she could read my mind, she took my left hand and led it under her gown where I discovered that she had no panties on and I could feel her wetness. I kept rubbing my hands all over her cunt as we kissed and it just didn’t seem as if we were going to stop kissing until I felt her hand gripping my very hard dick through my jeans, this kinda pushed me over the edge and I kept caressing her soft wet cunt with my hand.

When we finally stopped kissing, she looked at me and said, “I’ve always wanted to do that”.

“Me too,” I replied, not actually believing how those words came out of my mouth.

“Really, then don’t let us waste any time, lock the door and let’s go to your room,” She said.

I rushed to the door as if I didn’t want to give her time to change her mind, I then rushed ack to her after locking the door and did something I see a lot in Nollywood movies, I lifted her off her feet and carried her into my bedroom. She couldn’t help giggling as I laid her on the bed like a sacrificial lamb and I started planting short kisses all over her body.

She kept smiling as I kissed her forehead and then slowly moved over to kiss her eyelids before we started kissing all over again and I started fondling her boobs through her gown. I then raised her back off the bed and lifted her gown over her head, she had no bra or panties on; I just stood there with my mouth agape and admired her nakedness.

“You’ve got the perfect set of boobs,” I muttered.

“I know,” She replied, giggling like a teenager, “Now get your clothes off too, lemme see how you look”.

I didn’t wait for her to finish her sentence before I hurriedly undressed. She was surprised to see how big I was. “Wow,” she said, without taking her eyes off my dick. I felt so proud of myself and said “it’s gonna be yours today, babe”.

I resumed kissing her while I cupped one of her tits in my hand and damn, her nipples were already hard that she could not resist moaning to my touch and we kept on kissing there like first time lovers. We stopped kissing and she pushed me on my back with my erect dick hanging in the air.

“It’s so big,” she said once again.

With an evil smile on my face, I replied, “…and it’s all because of you”.

Giggling like a kid in the candy shop, she grabbed my ‘lollipop’ and started to stroke it slowly. Her touch was so soft that I had to stop myself from blowing my load immediately; she kept stroking it while I tried to move my hips in response to her strokes.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” she asked.

“Enjoying is an understatement, i can’t wait to put my dick in your cunt though,” I said meekly.

As if reinforced by my comment, she licked my balls all over, I could feel the cum building up.

“Not now,” i thought, “i can’t afford to ‘release’ now, i really have to enjoy this as much as possible”.

She then proceeded to lick my dick, from the base to the head where she spent some time teasing the head of my cock with her tongue, I could not help giving out a low moan as she tongued off the little precum that was already forming on it.

She started to suck my cock rhythmically, hungrily, trails of saliva running down my cock. She greedily took it all in and kept going up and down on my dick. I could feel the cum building up in my balls but I didnt want this to stop so i tried my best to ‘hold it in’ while “hold me back” by rick ross was playing in my head; after some minutes, she reached over and started fondling my balls while sucking my dick. That did it!

‘I’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum! oaaahnnn,’ I moaned

She then took her head off my dick and started stroking my dick till she ‘milked me completely’.

‘Did u like that?,’ she asked.

Licking my lips, ‘Of course i did, that’s one the best blowjobs i’ve ever had but why didnt u lick or swallow the cum’.

With an innocent look on her face, she replied, ‘I dont really like swallowing. I’m sorry! Hope i didn’t get u pissed’.

‘of course you didn’t,’ I replied. And with that, i moved closer and started kissing her with our snake-like tongue dancing in each other’s mouth.

After some minutes, I started with kissing her on her cheeks and neck. This made her hot and soon as I shifted my attention to her soft round boobs, her nipples were erect like a sfiff thumb. I admit that I was completely lost in those magnificent boobs. I kissed and nibbled them for very long time and then shifted my self towards lower region of her body. I kissed and licked her navel and then slowly moved my head towards her pussy. I love the smell of her pussy and i must admit i felt very lucky to be with such a woman, she took so much care of her body that I could not stop licking her all over.

I placed my lips over her pussy lips and soon my tongue found her clitoris and I started licking it hardly. Her movement became jerky as soon as I started licking it with force but that didnt stop me from going all the way as I kept fondling her tits while I licked her pussy, her moans became louder and she begged me to stop but while she said stop, my brain processed it to “Don’t stop”.

Soon her movements got out of control and she started to jerk more violently with each push bringing her clitoris more inside my mouth.

At last after about 20 minutes of hard sucking she exploded and kept having spasm of series orgasms. I did not move my lips away and drank all the honey that came out of her pussy.

She laid on the bed tired and giving me a weak smile but i wasn’t done yet. I continued rubbing her pussy with one hand while i fondled her tits with the other one, my dick was very hard at this point that i knew i’ll pay any amount willingly to get my dick into her pussy so I looked into her eyes while I rubbed the head of my dick on her pussy lips.

We looked into each other’s eyes for a moment, then kissed again, breathing each other in for a long time. While we kissed I fumbled around trying to find the right spot. Not willing to let go of her with one arm to help me in my quest, I pushed my hips forward and poked and prodded until I felt the head of my dick lodge within her. When I found it we were locked in our embrace and our kiss and I was looking at her closed eyelids. Her eyes sprang open and looked into mine and I thrust myself into her a little bit more.

As I pushed again though, I felt like I was twice my normal length, and she held onto me tighter and moaned while I went deeper with each little push. Finally I was all the way inside her. The cushion that formed between us by our hair was mashed as flat as it could be, and I could feel her pussy squeezing my cock and releasing it over and over. Her legs came up and wrapped around me as I began to rock back and forth. I could feel her breasts rolling under me as well, two firm pillows of flesh between us, and her nipples poking into my chest. I heard her moans become little exclamations as my pounding forced the air out of her lungs with each driving thrust into her hot, wet honeypot. I could feel her juices running down her ass and I pressed against her “rosebud” with the my finger. I pushed it inside and she let out a deep, lingering “Ahhhh”, so I pushed it in and out in time with our fucking.

I kept this up for a long time, and then I wanted to see more. I pushed myself up on both hands and looked at her lying beneath me. I watched as she lay there, gulping air between thrusts, her tits dancing on her chest with the nipples swinging and swaying and making circles from the pounding down below. I saw her flat belly rise and fall while she worked her pussy against me and I saw the lips of her cunt stretched around my shaft where I was sliding in and out of her. I reached down and rubbed her clit with one finger and it was like she’d had an electric shock. Her pelvis shuddered and she sucked in her breath through clenched teeth and her eyes took on an animal-like quality. She put her feet down beside me and, using them for leverage, she began to push up against me, countering me thrust for thrust, while her hands grabbed onto my hips and pulled in time to our fucking until we were slamming together. I ran my middle finger around our union to collect the juices there. Then I held it up for her to see and pushed it into her mouth. She sucked it in, looking into my eyes and I felt her convulse beneath me. She had lost control of herself and was bucking beneath me and bit down hard on my finger. I kept fucking, ignoring the pain, lost in the feeling of ramming my cock into her over and over again while she went crazy.

We kept going at that pace until I felt the sperm building up so I decided to slow down a little but the sperm had a mind of its own, after a few minutes of more thrusting it finally hit, I couldn’t hold back for anything.

I felt my body jerk and I shot my load deep inside her. I then rolled off her and we cuddled.

She promised to take care of me and since then i’ve been my neighbour’s assistant husband.

Sitting across the table from me, he looked handsome. Dark and handsome. His smile lit his face. He was in a black tuxedo. There is just something about a man in a white shirt that gets to me. Whether it is the contrast with his dark skin, I just don’t know. We had decided to ditch informal wear and dine out formally. We had had enough of soda and pizzas and home movies.

I was in this little red dress. Earlier, we had gone shopping and I bought my first dress. It was figure hugging, had a long slit on one side and left out half my bust in the name of cleavage. I could feel his eyes on my chest now. I lowered my wine glass and smiled in return. The food at the coastal resort was superb, though my mind was hardly on it. The wine was fruity but not too sweet. The setting was perfect, the other couples well dressed but I had eyes for no one.

The meal ended, the live band struck up, playing Kenyan oldies. We stood up to dance. Stepping into his arms is all I had wanted to do all night. Any excuse to touch each other was welcomed. My hands around his neck, his around my waist, and we swayed to the music. I loved the feel of his ‘ndengu’ hair. Who said long straight hair was good? (Exceptions are Lorenzo Lamas, Shawn Michaels, Michael Bolton…)

I wondered if the band was taking requests. I asked for the song Lady in Red. It seems like it was just meant for this moment. Here I was in a red dress, with the man I loved, dancing in his arms to my favorite song. I was melting into him. His lips at my ear, whispering the words of the song as we danced.

Lady in Red…is dancing with methere is nobody herejust you and meI swear I wannabe the only one..I’ll never forgetthe way you look tonight.

I looked into his eyes, and knew he was about to kiss me. His lips came down on mine and I can swear that was my sweetest kiss. Not too deep, but I could feel the passion rising as his hands sensuously caressed my back. That was when I felt someone tapping my shoulder. Opening my arms brought me to reality, we were in a public place. One of the hotel workers was breaking up our little romancing on the dance floor because we were making other guest uncomfortable. Kenyans, conservative in public.

He suggested we go to a drive. I jumped into the passenger seat of the rented car. He drove to the beach. I love the coast sometimes. It was night but it was very warm, making the night a comfortable one to walk in. We left the car, I took off my six-inch numbers that I could hardly walk in and he took off his shoes too. Holding hands, we set off, wandering aimlessly on the sand. We headed for some rocks.

The sky was exceptionally starry that night. The moon was big and yellow. It was such a good feeling, just holding hands and walking. We reached the walks and sat down. The sea stretched out infinitely before us.

We lay down, his hand my pillow. He caressed my hair as we talked without words. He turned his face towards mine, and we kissed again, this time letting loose our passions. Unbuttoning his shirt, I trailed kisses from his base of his neck, nibbled his nipple and continued to his stomach. His hands were trembling, his breath labored as he helped me unhook the zipper and undress him. I took him in my mouth, gently but firmly . I worked my magic, as he moaned deep in his throat.

Grabbing my shoulders, he pulled me back, saying it was my turn. Holding my dress at the hem, he pulled it over my head. He gasped after realizing I had nothing underneath. His hands were like fire, everywhere he touched me I was burning. His mouth on my breasts was a sensation never before experienced. And when he kissed me there….the sun, stars and moon were no longer visions but within reach.

He came into me, gently. Skillfully, he burst my seams. I could feel the entire length of him in me. Inch by inch. Together, we rode into waves and waves of sexstacies. And when we reached there, it was like letting flood gates open.

Only later did I realize my dress had been blown off by the breeze. But it did not matter. We walked to the sea. His coat, my new dress. We ditched out clothes yet again, but for the sea. It was the first time I was swimming naked in the sea.

Forget the fooling around with classmates in swimming pools. This was a make out session like no other. We ended up in the sand again. Where did all the energy come from? Never mind…this time we were more familiar, so we took our time. Much later, after much fun washing off the sand in the sea, we headed back, and snuck into our room.

That was adventure..I must say. Here I was bare feet, wearing only his coat, while his sandy clothes did him no justice. I handed him back his coat…he wanted to be paid for lending it out to me…I told him I had ways..he said he’ll make me cry as I paid back…..and I said as long as they were cries of pleasure…

And that is how I would like my first time to be.

Have a nice weekend. and to emulate 31337, why are you not reading this?

She slips into the back of the Audi saloon and allows the driver to close the door for her. “Heathrow,” she tells him once he’s back in his seat, and gives him the terminal number. He flicks the indicator stalk with his left hand and pulls out into the traffic, accelerating smoothly away from the hotel. The leather seats cosset her as the car slips through the summer air. The big petrol engine is little more than a low purr, even when her chauffeur drops a gear to overtake a mid-afternoon laggard.

German efficiency, she thinks.

As she speeds towards the airport and the flight home, she thinks of one man somewhere behind her and wonders what he is doing. She regards the back of her driver’s head. The profile is similar. Even the skin tone, lightly tanned with dark stubble showing.

She thinks of the taxi ride she took to the airport the first time she travelled to meet him. The anticipation she felt, the almost girlish glee that the adventure was finally happening. The window on the 737, looking down on the clouds and the slate-grey sea as she silently urged the pilot to fly faster, butterflies in her stomach and her panties so damp with excitement she had to fight the urge to squirm in her seat. The hotel, her hand trembling with adrenalin as she signed herself in, and then her delight when she saw how utterly perfect the room she’d chosen was.

And then their meeting. Finally.

She closes her eyes, so she can access her memories more clearly. The quiet restaurant they’d met at; the various bars they’d visited afterwards. Watching him across the table, trying to read his expression, wondering if he still wanted her as badly as he’d told her in so many emails, now that they’d finally met. The unhurried walk to her hotel, her pulse quickening as they crossed the lobby, as they rode the lift up to the fourth floor. The way he’d made it clear that it wasn’t a problem if she wanted to say goodnight at the door to her room … and how she’d responded, grabbing the front of his leather jacket, pulling his mouth onto hers.

She swallows as she remembers the way he’d undressed her, the kisses that had rained down upon her skin – her breasts, her belly, her thighs. The tantalizingly measured way his fingers had explored her sex, patiently coaxing her to orgasm. Then his mouth upon her – his clever, clever mouth – and the way his hands had gripped her about her waist, holding her in place when the pleasure became too much to bear and she tried to pull away from his ceaseless tongue.

And then his cock. Finally.

On the bed on her hands and knees, his hands about her waist again as he eased his hard, thick prick inside her, as he fucked her with long strokes that found every part of her most secret flesh. His drawn-out gasp and the grip of his hands on her body as his shaft pulsed within her. And then the guilt as the fever finally seeped from her body; guilt laced with dark excitement at the thought that this was only the start.

She is wet now.

She looks ahead and lets her gaze linger on the rear view mirror. She can’t see the driver’s eyes from where she is sitting. Casually, she slips her hand over the top of her thigh. Her skirt is reasonably modest, knee-length when she stands, but it rose a good few inches when she got into the car. Her legs are bare, and she allows her fingers to drift onto the inside of one thigh. It is pleasant, but not electric. Not the way his touch would be.

She slips her hand a little higher, closes her eyes and retreats to her reminiscences.

She thinks of the time that she’d staged one of her longer journeys, booked into a midpoint airport hotel for just a few hours. He’d turned up in a suit, and promptly made good on his promise to strip her naked and eat her to orgasm whilst he remained fully dressed. Once again, he’d held her in place as her orgasms overwhelmed her, his flickering tongue propelling her ever higher up her parabola of pleasure. When she’d come three times, he stripped himself and plunged his cock inside her. He hadn’t come there: instead, she’d rolled him back against the big bed and taken him into her mouth, determined to taste his seed. When it came, it had been an explosion, a sweet eruption that had tasted so delicious, she’d felt real disappointment when the storm finally passed. They had lain in each other’s arms, talking, fantasising, and then she had taken him in her hand again, coaxed him back to full hardness, and guided him inside her once more. This time, she had locked her calves behind his thighs to hold him in place as they both came.

Her hand has slipped all the way up to the gusset of her panties, and she can feel how damp the cotton is. She slides the side of her thumb across the front of her sex and she shudders deliciously. She knows it won’t take much for her to orgasm. The realisation both pleases and astounds her. The effect he can have on her flesh – even remotely – is profound. She strokes herself softly, slowly, barely brushing her labia. She relishes the sensation of her clitoris hardening, her lips swelling. Now as she brushes her thumb back and forth, she has to bite down on her bottom lip to stop herself from gasping. She can’t resist drawing her panties aside. The climatically controlled air feels wonderful against the heat of her semi-bared sex. She wishes she could slide her panties off, but she’s not daring enough to risk discovery. Not yet. It doesn’t stop her wishing that she could post them to him, so that he could smell her, inhale the musk of her lust, perhaps while he stroked himself. She imagines him wrapping the lingerie around his hard cock, his seed spilling into the fabric to mingle with hers.

Fuck.

She conjures the last time they’d met, more than a year ago. They’d fucked passionately, almost frantically, before indulging themselves with room service. Afterwards, out of domesticated habit, she’d dressed for sleep – a white vest and a pair of modest white panties – and turned out the lights.

She never finished the last word. He’d scooped the vest over her head, drawn down her panties, and brought his glans to the cleft of her sex. As he’d kissed her, he’d eased himself into her, millimetre by slow millimetre, until he was embedded in her to the hilt. Then they’d fucked, languidly, fluidly; a unique flow in the quiet night. And as their rhythm grew, the bed had creaked beneath them until she was certain that their neighbours would be able to hear the machine-gun cracks, hear her cries as she orgasmed again, hear his as he poured his molten lust into the heart of her.

She didn’t care. She hoped someone could hear them. It was exciting. It was affirming.

The thoughts and the brushing of her thumb are enough in the heart and now. She comes. She has to bite down even harder, tastes blood, but it’s not an explosive climax. Not like when she allows the Jacuzzi’s water jets to pulse against her sex; not like when she explores herself with the clear glass phallus she treated herself to whilst her lover stood watching from the wings of the store. But it is good. Good enough. And the herald of things to come.

She re-checks the rear-view mirror. It hasn’t moved while her eyes have been closed. The driver is completely unaware of what’s just occurred inside his prestige automobile.

German efficiency, she thinks again.

The Audi pulls up outside the airport terminal. She waits for the driver to open her door and retrieve her luggage, then she hands him a fifty-pound note. He accepts the money with a straight face. She smiles and turns, not waiting for any change. She’s too eager to check in. She knows that the bathroom in the VIP lounge is rather luxurious, and very private.

Whether you were in the relationship for 10 years or 10 days, you still must decide what to do with the gifts and mementos from your time together. By removing relationship mementos from your living space and places where you see them daily, it will allow you to get over the break-up sooner and move on with your life.

Gather It
Grab a box and start your sweep. Go from room to room. Collect pictures, jewelry, clothing, and souvenirs from trips—anything that reminds you of your ex. Don’t forget to gather items you may have at work, and in your car or garage.

Sort It
Divide the practical from the sentimental items. A practical item, like a happy anniversary toaster, is still useful. Decide if it’s something you can have around and use for what it is and not have it trigger an emotional response. If you have strong emotional feelings about an object, you’re better off getting rid of it.