Kids: spank or not to spank?

I got some spanking as a kid and based on that I'll never do that to my kids

Gôiya
September 3rd, 2006 12:31am

Getting spanked is like whacking your dog when it does something wrong. It immediately corrects misbehavior. Mild physical punishment is no big deal. Much more benign than persistant psychological mistreatment.

Having lived with an abusive parent for 2 years, I know that getting punched in the face once was no big deal next to being told that I was the most worthless person in the world day in and day out. However I guess I wouldn't have been able to call the cops about being called worthless.

Devil's Advocate
September 3rd, 2006 12:34am

As someone who has been spanked a lot, +1 for not spanking.

Yale Chick
September 3rd, 2006 12:35am

c++ for not spanking, no way spanking

Gôiya
September 3rd, 2006 12:42am

"Getting spanked is like whacking your dog when it does something wrong. It immediately corrects misbehavior."

What I've learned from behavior school for dogs is that the problem with punishing dogs is that without the higher reasoning, the dogs can't grasp *why* they're being punished. The most notable example is house training - the dog shits in the house, you swat the dog.

To the dog, who doesn't speak english, why the swat? The most logical reason is that you don't want to *see* the dog shit in the house, or else that you don't want the dog to shit in that particular place.

Punishing dogs who shit in the house results in dogs who shit in corners, under chairs, in the basement...

Far more progress is made much faster when you reward the dog for going outside. Then the dog realizes if he does it on the lawn, he gets a treat. So once the bowel control is there, then he holds it so he can go on the lawn and get a treat.

Regarding safety (reaching for a burning fire) - children bond with and respect their parents. A harsh word is as painful to them as a smack on the hand. A loud "No" pretty much has the same psychological effect as a swat. So why use physical violence?

exactly, but some people just overload their kids with noise, commands, the kid can't parse

Gôiya
September 3rd, 2006 12:58am

I think spanking is fine. But there's a big difference between spanking and beating. I got beat as a child - whacked with large sticks, whips, 2x4s. Not fun.

Commandante Marcos
September 3rd, 2006 1:45am

I have no idea what age it might be necessary or appropriate to spank. Our daughter knows there's a continuum of "no" from "ha ha no but really that's ok" to "NO! Mom and Dad are both saying no in the same firm tone so that means REALLY don't do it."

Ward
September 3rd, 2006 2:43am

Spanking is generally for kids under five or young women over 18

.
September 3rd, 2006 3:17am

Commandante Marcos is spot on, nothing wrong with spanking its just when its turns to beating and your parent(s) grab the nearest objects...

what are you reading for?
September 3rd, 2006 5:41am

Remember, whatever physical abuse you do to your helpless kids, they will do to you when you are 90.

Jar Jar
September 3rd, 2006 7:26am

My parents never laid a finger on me. I'm a programmer now. I wish they had.

Funny Bünny
September 3rd, 2006 7:30am

Thats a dumb thing to say FB, you should be thankful.

what are you reading for?
September 3rd, 2006 8:21am

Ive always been generally against spanking.

when youngest daughter was around 6 months or so she went through a stage of biting...the parents got an occasional bite but mostly she would bite youngest daughter...on the shoulder especially.

after a while of that, and lots of repeated firm no's etc, I finally gave in and said 'no' in a more angry tone, and smacked her.

she was scared to go _near_ eldest daughter for a good week or two afterwards....she did stop biting somewhere around that time but Im still not sure it was related to the smack.
her reaction to a pretty basic, moderately light smack was sufficiently big that I would hesitate before doing it again for any reason, its not entirely out of the question, but the provocation would have to be greater.

overall I think its probably better to use the 'water on a stone' approach and just work at training in correct behaviors in more patient ways.

worldsSmallestViolin
September 3rd, 2006 8:24am

It was also a joke, what are you reading for.

Funny Bünny
September 3rd, 2006 9:03am

This thread shows we're all more patient than we could Job.

Funny Bünny
September 3rd, 2006 9:04am

> A loud "No" pretty much has the same psychological effect > as a swat. So why use physical violence?