According to Freud and his
followers, our psyche is a battlefield between instinctual urges and drives
(the id), the constraints imposed by reality on the gratification of these
impulses (the ego), and the norms of society (the superego). This constant
infighting generates what Freud called "neurotic anxiety" (fear of
losing control) and "moral anxiety" (guilt and shame).

But these are not the only types of anxiety.
"Reality anxiety" is the fear of genuine threats and it combines with
the other two to yield a morbid and surrealistic inner landscape.

These multiple, recurrent,
"mini-panics" are potentially intolerable, overwhelming, and
destructive. Hence the need to defend against them. There are dozens of defense
mechanisms. The most common among them:

Acting Out

When an inner conflict (most often,
frustration) translates into aggression. It involves acting with little or no
insight or reflection and in order to attract attention and disrupt other
people's cosy lives.

Denial

Perhaps the most primitive and best known
defense mechanism. People simply ignore unpleasant facts, they filter out data
and content that contravene their self-image, prejudices, and preconceived
notions of others and of the world.

Devaluation

Attributing negative or inferior traits or
qualifiers to self or others. This is done in order to punish the person
devalued and to mitigate his or her impact on and importance to the devaluer.
When the self is devalued, it is a self-defeating and self-destructive act.

Displacement

When we cannot confront the real sources of
our frustration, pain, and envy, we tend to pick a fight with someone weaker or
irrelevant and, thus, less menacing. Children often do it because they perceive
conflicts with parents and caregivers as life-threatening. Instead, they go out
and torment the cat or bully someone at school or lash out at their siblings.

Dissociation

Our mental existence is continuous. We
maintain a seamless flow of memories, consciousness, perception, and
representation of both inner and external worlds. When we face horrors and
unbearable truths, we sometimes "disengage". We lose track of space,
time, and the continuum of our identity. We become "someone else"
with minimal awareness of our surroundings, of incoming information, and of
circumstances. In extreme cases, some people develop a permanently rent
personality and this is known as "Dissociative Identity Disorder
(DID)".

(continued below)

This article appears in my book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism
Revisited"

Everyone fantasizes now and then. It helps to
fend off the dreariness and drabness of everyday life and to plan for an
uncertain future. But when fantasy becomes a central feature of grappling with
conflict, it is pathological. Seeking gratification - the satisfaction of
drives or desires - mainly by fantasizing is an unhealthy defense. Narcissists,
for instance, often indulge in grandiose fantasies which are incommensurate
with their accomplishments and abilities. Such fantasy life retards personal
growth and development because it substitutes for true coping.

Idealization

Another defense mechanism in the arsenal of
the narcissist (and, to lesser degree, the Borderline and Histrionic) is the
attribution of positive, glowing, and superior traits to self and (more
commonly) to others. Again, what differentiates the healthy from the
pathological is the reality test. Imputing positive characteristics to self or
others is good, but only if the attributed qualities are real and grounded in a
firm grasp of what's true and what's not.

Isolation of Affect

Cognition (thoughts, concepts, ideas) is
never divorced from emotion. Conflict can be avoided by separating the
cognitive content (for instance, a disturbing or depressing idea) from its
emotional correlate. The subject is fully aware of the facts or of the
intellectual dimensions of a problematic situation but feels numb. Casting away
threatening and discomfiting feelings is a potent way of coping with conflict
in the short-term. It is only when it become habitual that it rendered
self-defeating.

Omnipotence

When one has a pervading sense and image of
oneself as incredibly powerful, superior, irresistible, intelligent, or
influential. This is not an adopted affectation but an ingrained, ineradicable
inner conviction which borders on magical thinking. It is intended to fend off
expected hurt in having to acknowledge one's shortcomings, inadequacies, or
limitations.

This article appears in my book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism
Revisited"

We all have an image of how we "should
be". Freud called it the "Ego Ideal". But sometimes we
experience emotions and drives or have personal qualities which don't sit well
with this idealized construct. Projection is when we attribute to others these
unacceptable, discomfiting, and ill-fitting feelings and traits that we possess.
This way we disown these discordant features and secure the right to criticize
and chastise others for having or displaying them. When entire collectives
(nations, groups, organizations, firms) project, Freud calls it the Narcissism
of Small Differences.

Projective Identification

Projection is unconscious. People are rarely
aware that they are projecting onto others their own ego-dystonic and
unpleasant characteristics and feelings. But, sometimes, the projected content
is retained in the subject's awareness. This creates a conflict. On the one
hand, the patient cannot admit that the emotions, traits, reactions, and
behaviors that he so condemns in others are really his. On the other hand, he
can't help but being self-aware. He fails to erase from his consciousness the
painful realization that he is merely projecting.

So, instead of denying it, the subject
explains unpleasant emotions and unacceptable conduct as reactions to the
recipient's behavior. "She made me do it!" is the battle cry of
projective identification.

We all have expectations regarding the world
and its denizens. Some people expect to be loved and appreciated - others to be
feared and abused. The latter behave obnoxiously and thus force their nearest
and dearest to hate, fear, and "abuse" them. Thus vindicated, their
expectations fulfilled, they calm down. The world is rendered once more
familiar by making other people behave the way they expect them to. "I
knew you would cheat on me! It was clear I couldn't trust you!".

Rationalization or Intellectualization

To cast one's behavior after the fact in a favorable light. To justify and
explain one's conduct or, more often, misconduct by resorting to
":rational, logical, socially-acceptable" explications and excuses.
Rationalization is also used to re-establish ego-syntony (inner peace and
self-acceptance).

Though not strictly a defense mechanism, cognitive dissonance may be considered
a variant of rationalization. It involves speech acts which amount to the
devaluation of things and people very much desired but frustratingly out of
one's reach and control. In a famous fable, a fox, unable to snag the luscious
grapes he covets, says: "these grapes are probably sour anyhow!".
This is an example of cognitive dissonance in action.

Reaction Formation

Adopting a position and mode of conduct that defy personally unacceptable
thoughts or impulses by expressing diametrically opposed sentiments and
convictions. Example: a latent (closet) homosexual finds his sexual preference
deplorable and acutely shameful (ego-dystonic). He resorts to homophobia. He
public berates, taunts, and baits homosexuals. Additionally, he may flaunt his
heterosexuality by emphasizing his sexual prowess, or by prowling singles bars
for easy pick-ups and conquests. This way he contains and avoids his unwelcome
homosexuality.

Repression

The removal from consciousness of forbidden thoughts and wishes. The removed
content does not vanish and it remains as potent as ever, fermenting in one's
unconscious. It is liable to create inner conflicts and anxiety and provoke
other defense mechanisms to cope with these.

This article appears in my book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism
Revisited"

This is a "primitive" defense mechanism. In other words, it begins to
operate in very early infancy. It involves the inability to integrate
contradictory qualities of the same object into a coherent picture. Mother has
good qualities and bad, sometimes she is attentive and caring and sometimes
distracted and cold. The baby is unable to grasp the complexities of her
personality. Instead, the infant invents two constructs (entities), "Bad
Mother" and "Good Mother". It relegates everything likable about
mother to the "Good Mother" and contrasts it with "Bad
Mother", the repository of everything it dislikes about her.

This means that whenever mother acts nicely, the baby relates to the idealized
"Good Mother" and whenever mother fails the test, the baby devalues
her by interacting, in its mind, with "Bad Mother". These cycles of
idealization followed by devaluation are common in some personality disorders,
notably the Narcissistic and Borderline.

Splitting can also apply to one's self. Patients with personality disorders
often idealize themselves fantastically and grandiosely, only to harshly
devalue, hate, and even harm themselves when they fail or are otherwise
frustrated.

Read more about idealization followed by devaluation - click on
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