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Ladies, we’ve all been there. You get a really nice email from a really nice guy, but for some reason you just get that feeling. No, not the butterflies-in-your-stomach reaction that everyone writes love songs about but the “Yeah, this guy’s not for me,” sense.

So what’s a girl to do? You don’t want to be rude, right? He seems sooo nice, even though he has two cats (and you’re allergic to cats) and he lives farther than you’d ever realistically go for a date. But he’s just so nice!

As polite as it may seem to answer Mr. Nice Guy, it’ll actually end up doing more harm than good. If you email him back even though you’re definitely not interested, he’ll get false hope and assume that you like him back. One message can turn into two, and before you know it, you’re having a full-blown conversation online while he’s striking up the nerve to ask you out on a date. At the end of the day, the more you email back and forth, the more you’re leading him on — and that’s definitely something you should avoid.

While it may be obvious (to you) that you’re simply being friendly (because everyone wants someone who’s nice, right?), keep in mind that you’re on a dating site. No matter how platonic the conversation is Mr. Nice Guy will think you’re into him.

You might believe it’s mean to leave him hanging, but if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he just isn’t the man for you, don’t answer his email.

Remember: He’s not just emailing you. He’s probably messaged 10 other women the same night he wrote his not-so-love letter to you. So if you don’t respond, no harm done. It’ll allow him to focus on the gals who do answer back — and hopefully, they’ll actually like him.