Monthly Archives: March 2013

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I am so going to be written out of the will for this one. This is a risk that I am willing to take, however. Dear readers, I am here to save you and those with whom you dine from flavorless, lumpy, cold mashed potatoes. Alas, these are the mashed potatoes that I remember from my youth. Good grief were they awful! (Really, because I am going to be excommunicated anyway, I might as well tell you the truth.) A holiday weekend is upon us and many of you will […]

If the way to someone’s heart is through the stomach, then the vehicle that I am taking is Chicken Saltimbocca. Simple in construction yet slightly taxing to make*, this dish is as perfect for entertaining as it is for a quiet dinner for two. *The asterisk can’t wait…”slightly taxing” is a polite understatement. This dish is a pain to make with all the pounding, flouring, breading, stuffing, sautéing, and baking. Absolute pain. And to make matters worse, it’s an unforgiving […]

I don’t even have a good story about French Toast. I don’t ever order it in restaurants and if you do order it, I’m probably not going to ask for a bite. Nothing against French Toast, but I am partial to my egg whites and rye toast. The one nugget of fun that I can offer is that in our house, we don’t say “French Toast”. We say “FRAAAAAAANNNNNCH TOOOOOOOAAAAAAST!” (This is, of course, from a scene in The 40-Year-Old […]

“But you’re eating MOLD! EWWWWWWWWWWWW!” This is the common reaction to consumption of bleu cheese in my house courtesy of the resident 4th Grader. This may very well be your reaction as well. Bleu Cheese, I think, gets a bad rap. Yes, it’s mold: spores! bacteria! Penicillium! But, as my resident 2nd Grader would tell her sister, “Whatever…bacon is from a pig’s belly, but you still eat it!” She’s right: Bleu Cheese tastes good, so never mind the mold and […]

Want to get under my skin? Declare yourself a “Wine Snob”. Ugh, it bugs me just writing it. Wine Snob. What does that even mean anyway? I’ve rolled it around for a while and I have come to the following conclusions: You want me to know that you know a lot about wine. Why do you want me to know this? Should I be immediately impressed with your alleged knowledge of nose, finish, and tannins? Why don’t you just shut up and […]

“See kids? This? This is a tendon! It connects the muscle of the wing! This ligament connects the bones together…and when I pull it….see…the wing moves!” And that was my introduction to the chicken wing courtesy of Mr. Arnold Vogel, distinguished educator of 7th grade biology. Mr. Vogel – always clad in my mind in his signature white turtle neck (because it was 1989) – was quick with a sigh, THE king of the eye-roll, and brilliant in his explanations of […]

The moment that someone walks into your life is always memorable. The moment that the right and best someone walks into your life is precious. Steel Magnolias is my very favorite movie ever of all time (yes, I said “ever of all time”. I do that. I also do “absolutely 100%”. These are just Ali-isms). I don’t even quote it anymore because for me, it’s gotten beyond that: the vernacular, expressions, and sentiments from Steel Magnolias are too closely woven […]

I’m a grown up. I have all of the grown-up essentials: career, house, car, kids, and girls’ night out (because when you are a real grown-up, it’s not just “going out” anymore – you have to name it to get away with it). I do all the grown-up things that I knew I would: pay bills, get regular dental check-ups, clean my house (constantly), and all the rest of the never-fun-but-completely-necessary-things that grown-ups do. I assume that you know where […]