Archive | November 2013

This blog post is the second part of a 2-part series on the key highlights from ‘A Night of Hope’, an inspirational live event of worship and celebration, by bestselling author and transformational pastor, Joel Osteen.

Some of the highlights of Joel and Victoria’s messages of hope, transformation and purpose (PART II):

1. Our first mission field is to our families. Everything flows from the family. Value your relationships. Agree to disagree respectfully. Everyone has different backgrounds, education, upbringing, belief system etc., so learn to accept and respect one another. Pick your fights. Know what’s worth fighting about and what to let go. Sometimes you have to keep your mouth shut and sow that act of compromise as a seed.

2. In life you’ve got to stand up and fight for what you want. Live a life of FAITH in action and focus on touching one life at a time. Everyday is an opportunity to do something different and better!

3. In pursuing your purpose in life, it is not how you start, it is how you finish. Take a step and tell yourself empowering stories. If the inner conversation is not taking you towards your goals, have a different conversation with yourself and make it louder!

4. Are you going to go forward or will you stay stuck staring behind through your rear view mirror? Let go and forgive all of yesterday’s pain. God made you to be free of excess baggage. His promise is to always make your burden lighter.

5. In life there are two types of bags that you get to carry around. It is either one or the other. The first is the special positive bag filled with joy, thanksgiving and service etc.

While the other is the negative bag. Are you dragging around all the negative baggage from your past with you in the present? Which bag do you carry: Disappointment bag, Hurt bag, Regret bag, Anger bag, Bitter bag? Isn’t time to let go and let GOD?

6. Manage your happiness by managing your expectation, your sense of happiness is a choice. You have control over the type of relationships you wish to co-create.

Only what you allow happens. Love yourself enough to honour God in you by giving and asking for the best. treat yourself with respect.

7. Speak words of faith and affirmation to any difficult situation and then take action in line with your words.

“The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins~

Disclaimer: The highlights above are based on personal notes and understanding of Joel and Victoria Osteen’s messages. No intentional omission or error is intended. I hope something on this list resonates and plants an active seed in your life.

Have an abundantly blessed day and an awesome life ahead!

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

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Blogger Bio:

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership” and “Today, I Will Not Bow”. A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’, [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?”

On the sidelines of the Port Harcourt Book festival, I caught up with festival headliner, Chika Unigwe, and engaged her in this interview where she talked about her life after winning the coveted NLNG prize. She spoke also on other sundry issues.How has life been since the NLNG prize? How has life been? It’s been a lot easier to convince other people that writing is a serious business and that’s what winning a big prize always does. Suddenly people who help baby sit your kids so you can go and gallivant round the world and do things start taking you seriously. It’s been such a great honour to be recognised in my country. Of everything I would want to win, the NLNG was top of the list simply because it is something from Nigeria. It’s been nice coming back to Nigeria as a writer some people have heard of…

(Note, these are not the same as new year resolutions. Please refer to this previous post for more on the ‘I AM statements: http://wp.me/p1o3v6-1a).

One of the many 50 statements that I wrote down was: “In 2014, I AM attending a live event of inspirational worship and celebration by bestselling author and pastor Joel Osteen.”

Then, I simply stood in the flow gratitude and acceptance of allowing this statement to manifest and it did happen!

Well, fast forward to a few months ago, when randomly, a friend of mine called me up excitedly to tell me the great new: Joel and Victoria Osteen were coming to Toronto for an evening of worship, music and motivation. The sad news was it was happening that night, intact 3 hours from the time she called me!

The event was tagged: ‘A Night of Hope.’ First I made the conscious decision and voiced it out and wrote it down: ‘I AM attending this event tonight.’

And I held on to the hope that even though we were informed about this so late, there was still hope that our creator of midnight hours and crossover miracles would come to our rescue:-)After a frantic search online for any available, last minute ticket(s), a few phone calls to sort out babysitting, we were soon both Air Canada Centre, ACC-bound!

It was a life-affirming day for me because even though the messages may not be new, Joel and victoria shared them with such authenticity and power that it resonated and stayed with me till today. The energy that filled ACC dome was deeply moving and so incredible!

Apparently, I was not the only one who took copious notes. My friend had also sent me an email which contained her biggest take-aways from that evening. So we both collated our list of highlights and though we’d share, so here it goes! P.S: It would be done in a two-part series, so look out for part two tomorrow.

Some of the highlights of Joel and Victoria’s messages of hope, transformation and purpose (PART I):

1. Let everyday be a new beginning for you. Forgive yourself and let go of the feelings of guilt and condemnation. Don’t sit on the sidelines of life, get back in the game and play at 100%!

2. God never allows you to experience difficulties without a divine purpose. Use your faith not to pray away difficulties but rather, surrender and allow the storm to lead you exactly where you should go.

3. Quit fighting back, relinquish control, surrender, so that God’s will may be done. Trust him and know that your storms are not a surprise to him. Burn up the limiting beliefs and shake off the self-pity!

4. You would not have been given a destiny without being equipped and empowered by God to fulfill it.

Each day is a step forward towards your purpose and destiny. Start the day how you want the day to be. Set very clear intentions and be in tune with your attention.

Be grateful everyday for the gifts of life and love. Shake off the bad ‘stuff’ by changing your internal recording and inner movie. Learn to change your dial/channels!

5. Affirm daily who you are1 Your ‘I AM’ statements are very powerful; ‘I am creative, I am fun, I am strong, I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am magnificent, I am a masterpiece.’ Indeed, you are God’s masterpiece, equipped, approved, blessed, forgiven, NOT average, not mediocre!

6. Stop the self-abuse and self-flagellation! You have enough people against you, you don’t have to be against yourself.

There are lots of negative thoughts AND comments, from people that you have to ignore. Know how to take the learnings and corrections in criticism without attaching yourself to the negativity of its sting.

You only have so much emotional energy each day. There are even some family members and ‘friends’ that you may have to sometimes distance yourself from.

7. Unforgiveness is like a poison inside you, Release yourself and release people. Write letters to everyone who’s ever hurt ou and who you’ve ever hurt. Do anything you can to help yourself. Know who you are and whose you are; victors and not victims!

8. Are you still tied to the victim mentality? Are you still choosing to be married to your pain?

You CANNOT drag your baggage of pain over and over again, let it go! dream another dream.

Quit thinking about it. Change the channel. Quit reliving negative memories. When you play negative movies in your mind, you will only feel negative emotions.

Be disciplined in your thoughts. Think only pure thoughts, start changing the channels of your thoughts.

9. How you tell your stories of your wound matters. When you tell it, do you tell it from an empowered place, knowing the wound is already healed or when you talk about it, are you still stuck in the drama of reliving the pain?

10. Beauty for ashes! You have to decide and let go of the ashes before you can see and receive the beauty.

It is an act of faith-let go of the pain and the blame. Do not live life looking in your rear view mirrors.

11. Seasons come and seasons go. A season of mourning does not equate to a LIFETIME of mourning!

Shake off the pain of the past. Strain towards what lies ahead. The past is dead and gone, we can choose to be like the mountain climber, who cut of his infected arm so that he may live. Stop rehearsing and rehashing your old pains.

12. I BELIEVE AND DECLARE THAT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE THE BEST OF YOUR LIFE!

Disclaimer: The highlights above are based on personal notes and understanding of Joel and Victoria Osteen’s messages. No intentional omission or error is intended. I hope something on this list resonates and plants an active seed in your life.

Have an abundantly blessed day and an awesome life ahead! ❤

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

————————————————————

Blogger Bio:

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership” and “Today, I Will Not Bow”. A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’, [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?”

On this site I talk about blocks to personal/spiritual growth and uncovering them so we are able to have an insight for living. Well, I’ve discovered a big core block for myself. Here’s how the discovery of it went:

In the coaching group I’m leading, at the end of the call when it was her turn to share what she got out of the call, one of the members said that she see’s the little girl in each of us (5 women including me).

Then I said, “You want to know what kind of little girl I was? I loved skirts that twirl. I put on shows in the neighborhood organizing the kids a little younger then I. We made and sold tickets. My mother hung an old bedspread on the clothesline and we put on some kind of show. I don’t remember the show but I do remember that…

The pain and shock caused by a loss may lead to extreme, and sometimes unhealthy, new patterns of behaviour.

If these patterns last beyond a temporary period of time, then perhaps, it is important to seek empathetic help and support from professionals and/or loved ones.

(Various researches have shown that the presence, support and love from loved ones and even strangers, make a huge difference to the healing curve).

Of the many emotions one experiences after a loss, perhaps the three really important ones to watch out for are Denial, Guilt and Shame.

This is because other emotions-anger, sadness, fear hurt, regret and pain, which are warranted emotions, when expressed in a healthy way, may lead the person to a sense of release, acceptance and closure over time.

On the other hand, feelings of denial, shame and guilt prolong the healing period and may make one sink in deeper into a prolonged, unhealthy spiral of mourning and grieving.

To grief fully, without reservation, is itself, an important piece of the healing process. The loss of someone or something very dear to us, creates a shift in our perspective of the world and life in general.

This is as it should be because we are not the same person we were before the loss and we can never go back to being that old person. Irrevocably, we are changed, for better or worse, by that singular experience. And it still comes down to the choices we make, either consciously or unconsciously.

An interesting and empowering thing about the pain of loss is that if we pay close attention, the purpose of the death should compel us re-prioritize our lives.

And it should also push us or inspire us to pursue only those things that give us the most joy, as well as adding the most value.

The loss then simply acts as a boulder, and it’s role is to make us pause and reflect, as we are reminded that with every breath we take, death looms nearer, waiting in the shadows.

Each day we wake up is a day closer to the end of the journey. What is the quality of the memories we wish to celebrate at the end?

What is the life story we want told? Begin to live the future you dream of for yourself NOW, because the choices you make now, create the tomorrow you desire or despise! You get to tell your story, BE and LIVE the story you want told.

Death offers us a chance to pause, take a deep breath, and recall shared memories of our loved ones.

It allows us an opportunity to really stop everything, as we share our grief and connect with the deceased by building a legacy that upholds and reflects their values and purpose.

Therefore, we must seek grace so that we do not waste the inherent power and beauty that our loss affords us. Everything has a purpose, nothing is an accident.

Thus, the purpose of death becomes that of a jarring or gentle reminder, an alarm clock that wakes us up and draws the attention of the living towards their own path, their own purpose.

Periods of grief are also a time to also take another hard look at our lives and course-correct our track, if necessary. It is a time to strengthen existing bonds or heal broken ones. Death is a destroyer of arrogance.

It is in periods of intense sorrow that we ask the most important WHYs. The answers are already within us, we simply need the right questions to unlock what we already know. Death allows us to question what is truly important to us about living.

There can be no greater opportunity for growth, learning and transformation than through death. It lends itself to such a literal and metaphoric finality that we are forced to pay immediate attention to the pain it elicits.

And when we are courageous enough to face, feel and conquer ours fears/pains, we are in a better place. The more specific we get with our pain, the easier and faster it dis-integrates. “Sorrows are our best educators. A person can see further through a tear than a telescope.” ~Lord Byron~

To everyone and anyone experiencing intense sorrow over the loss of someone or something precious, I join others across our global WWN community in reaching out to you.

We share our common connectedness and exchange our energy of understanding, of empathy, of unconditional love and of healing.

Know that God walks with you, always, especially in the valleys, his light is there to comfort and guide your ways.

We hold sacred space for the living survivors and also for the living who’ve moved on. Time in itself doesn’t heal, I’d like to think that we choose to heal, in time.

We choose to heal and live and thus honour the spirit of the dead. If not, what difference would it then make if we either lived or die. Remember that death is itself a metaphor for life and vice versa. One journey starts when the other end, so loved ones never really die, they are merely transformed.

Everything and everyone is energy and because we have shared the sacred space of living with them, they leave a part of themselves with us, the most important parts of them; their love, spirit, essence and core.

As we grief and mourn for different reasons, let us reflect deeply on the truth that one of the greatest gifts of deep loss is the profound understanding that we must all learn to begin to surrender to life, be more accepting and allowing of letting go, while focusing on embracing both our nothingness and our majesty, both our humanity and our divinity.

Blogger’s Note: This post was inspired by a dear friend who recently lost a beloved spouse. In the death of a loved one, we are all reminded of the precious gift of life. And even as we mourn, we hold firm in faith. We are strong believers; we believe in resurrection, we believe that the deceased are with us, even though we no longer physically see them. Also, we know and believe that this too shall pass and although the pain may sometimes be overwhelming, we have faith in the abiding grace of God to lead us through the storms.

This is thanksgiving weekend in the USA, and so, we lift up our heartfelt prayers of love and thanksgiving. May the power of our collective wishes give healing and peace to those among us who mourn.

For indeed, ALL things work together for those who believe. The task is to let go and believe! May the souls of the faithfully departed, Rest In Perfect Peace of our Lord. Through the pain and the storm of your loss, may you be willing, ready and open to love. In love were you created, with love were you moulded, through love were you redeemed. At your core, you are love!

Are you or anyone you know experiencing intense sorrow over the passing of a loved one? Two (2) books that I highly recommend for anyone who’s grieving are:

1. A TIME TO GRIEVE: Meditations for healing after the death of a loved one, by Carol Staudacher;

2. HEALING AFTER LOSS: Daily Meditations for working through grief,by Martha Whitmore Hickman

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

————————————————————

Blogger Bio:

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership” and “Today, I Will Not Bow”. A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’, [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?”

Today’s reflection is focused on the power of ASKING QUESTIONS. Sometimes, it is not the answers that we find that give us the biggest shifts and transformation. Often, it is the questions that we ask ourselves or are asked by others that open up our hearts and minds to possibilities we never imagined. The act of seeking the answers becomes a metaphor for the journey of life.

Begin to pay attention to the questions that keep you awake at night, the questions that never seem too far from your mind, the questions that you run away from confronting. Those are probably the questions that have the biggest relationship with your life purpose and destiny.

WWN Reflection DAY 27: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

Here are some questions to reflect upon as you enjoy the rest of the week:

1. This mid-week, reflect and ask yourself: Am I on the ‘WOE me’ or ‘WOW me’ axis of life’s equation?

WOE ME= Making excuses and having reasons to blame others for the drama and crap in your life! You are an expert at pointing fingers outwards, talking about other people’s limitations and never yours. You play the victim card. Failure and stagnation are guaranteed states in this zone.

WOW ME=You take ownership and responsibility for both your awesomeness and your crap! You understand that you are a co-heir and co-creator with God. You focus on the learning in any situation, you seek to provide solutions and to add value. You are at cause for your life. You are in control of your results. You look inwards for answers. Success and purposeful living is guaranteed here.

Note: You get to choose only one side at any given time….you cannot be in both! And if you’re in neither, you may be sitting on the ‘stuck’ fence, where life seems to be ‘happening’ to you. It is important to also note that as human beings, we will definitely find ourselves hanging out in the ‘woe me’ quadrant once in a while. The key is not to stay there for too long and also to celebrate the awareness of your lessons and learnings while you’re there or after you get out! So, be gentle with yourself and others, we’re all doing the very best we can with the resources we have.

2. Did you know that there’s a behavioural link between Self-Esteem, Over-Eating, Over-Spending, Over-Complaining and generally feeling ‘out of balance’ in life? They often have a common root and if you destroy the root cause, every thing else crumbles and life RE-ALIGNS back into shape! Are you aware of what your root cause is? Sometimes the manifesting ‘problem’ is simple a symptom of something deeper.

3. “Do you want a successful career or a close relationship with your family? Both! Do you want a focus on business or have fun and play? Both! Do you want money or meaning in your life? Both! Do you want to earn a fortune or do the work you love? Both! Unsuccessful people always choose one, successful people choose both. Do you realize that you always have options and indeed, by God’s grace and through hard work/working smart, you can have it all.” ~T. Harv Eker~

4. “Are you stressed? Do you take time to relax? Do you take things so seriously? Laugh as much as you can! Play! When we’re adults, sometimes we forget to play and or we think we shouldn’t be wasting time on play when the opposite is true – PLAY! PLAY! PLAY! That’s where our true joy stems from, the most innocent part of who we are, our inner child that’s so excited about life and all its blessings! Are you letting your inner child out?” ~Patricia Grace Tomasi, Life Coach~

5. Do you suffer because you think you do not have enough OR because you’ve accepted a fallacy that you can never have enough, and so you suffer? (Re-read this and ponder on it for a few minutes) 🙂 Do you realize that you have an innate ability to co-create everything you desire, want or need? Do you understand that you are enough and you always have enough? Do you play the compare and contrast game? Do you compare yourself against others or compare the present to the past or an imaginary future? Do you comprehend that this is the root cause of most unhappiness? Are you always looking at the other side and thinking the grass greener? Are you celebrating the beauty of NOW and looking inwards to find solutions unique to you or are you blindly following the dictates of the external world around you?

6. What if your problem is not YOUR problem? What if your problem is simply just a problem? What if you stopped taking your challenges and problems so personally? What if you could ‘remove’ yourself from your problem and look at them through someone else’s eyes? What if you took a new perspective, an ‘eagle-eyed’ overview of the problem and became open to new ways of ‘seeing’ them? What if the whole essence of the problems is to make you grow and transform into someone who resources creatively to resolve and solve said problems? What if all your problems have solutions and you role is to simply explore new ideas, perspectives and be open to others around you, in order to find the answers you seek?

7. What’s your purpose? Are you living in alignment with your purpose? What are your most important values in different spheres of life? What kind of life would you rather be living if you had an abundance of money, time, energy? LIVE IT NOW! Do you have the faith to believe in the formless and not in the formed physical reality? Are you speaking, feeling and living your truth? Do you realize that in order to manifest your dreams into reality, you MUST become the person who is capable of achieving those goals and dreams? WHAT you have and do flow directly from WHO you are BEING. The equation for the law of manifest ion is this: BE-DO-HAVE!

Warmest Regards, Blessings & Cyber-hugs,

-Juliet ‘Kego Ume-Onyido, MBA

Poet | Master-Certified Leadership Coach-Trainer -Consultant|

~Take empowered ACTION towards a Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier YOU!~

————————————————————

Blogger Bio:

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership” and “Today, I Will Not Bow”. A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’, [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?”

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” ~Socrates~

WWN Reflection DAY 26: Take ACTION and Transform Your Life!

Today’s focus is on revisiting some old sayings, quotes and proverbs and adapting them to become more aligned with this new value-based, empathy-driven economy. I think that perhaps sometimes we are so set in a particular model of the world that it holds us back from enjoying the fullness of life all around us.

I love the idea of periodically ‘checking in’ on our existing value construct and even loosening our Model of the World (MOTW), in order to allow new perspectives and pathways of creative solutions.

Sometimes, we hold beliefs and run unconscious programs that are in conflict with what we wish to manifest in life.

Just because something has always been a particular way does not mean it cannot be looked at differently and given a ‘newer’, more empowering interpretation. So here are my newest ways of looking at the world.

1. Old Economy: “Fake it until you make it.” Which loosely translates to living a life that has little or nothing to do with authenticity, tell ‘made up’ stories (not your true stories), simply to brag, impress and make yourself look ‘bigger.’ The irony is of course that in living and doing business this way, you diminish your true value. This is also one of the main reasons people rack up obscene high-debt levels!

New Economy: “Focus all your energy on making it, so that you never have to fake it!” This suggests that you channel every resource you have towards your goals. Become one with your goals, and take quantum leaps and create value by solving problems, while sharing your truth and telling your unique story and journey! People can sense, small and feel B.S from a mile, so be yourself, period. It’s also way healthier for your life overall. As the saying goes: “When you tell the truth you do not have to remember anything.”

So rather than blindly following the ‘Joneses’, begin to set yourself apart as an original and simply take action towards your purpose. Life is much more fun and less stressful in the ‘REAL’ zone. The ‘FAKE zone, may initially be thrilling, however it ultimately drains, depresses and depletes because the brain simply does not have that strong a firewall to fuel the various incongruent parts! It is healthier to ‘sew your cloth according to your material’ and not according to your size.

2. Old Economy: “Forgive but don’t forget.” In order words, cling on to the myth of your non-existent pain in the present and create a future based on it. Fight the healing power of time and continue to perpetuate your ‘woe me’ story.

New Economy: “Forgive AND Forget.” The whole essence of forgiveness is the willingness, courage and acknowledgement of what has happened, the vulnerability to embrace and feel the pain it caused and yet decide to let it go. Forgiveness is total surrendering and acceptance. You forgive and forget both the pain and its perpetrator, rather, focus on what the experience taught you.

It is a DECISION to release and free up your heart to love and experience joy fully.

True forgiveness does not hold on to the event, rather it filters only the learnings from the event. It also gifts you with the ability to set firmer and clearer boundaries to others.

So with the passage of time, re-telling the story of your past pain simply becomes content-free (less focused on the drama), and more focused on preserving and sharing the learnings. This is true empowerment.

3. Old Economy: “It is better to teach a man how to fish than to give him fish.” Sometimes, it is important to know the other person’s model of the world and perhaps even enter it in order to gently, yet firmly guide them to navigate their way to a new understanding and hopefully, embrace healthier options and choices.

New Economy: “It is good to give a man fish, it is better to teach him how to fish and it is best to give him some fish while you teach him, lest he quenches before the lessons are finished.” In an empathy-driven economy, we acknowledge that one size never fits all and there’s a need to meet people at their level in order to lift them up to where they really belong or aspire to reach.

4. Old Economy: The law of attraction was based on feeling only ‘positive’ feelings, using your powers of imagination and focus. It was largely based on the notion that ‘You attract whatever you want.’

New Economy: This postulates a revised law of attraction based on feeling ALL your feelings, gaining mastery of your internal representation (state mastery) and the idea that what ever you are, have or do, essentially flows from who you are BEING. Thus, ‘you attract who you are.’

It also focuses a lot on taking congruent and consistent ACTION. The law of Attraction is simply the law of manifestation (of your actions). Thus, the questions you should answer are: ‘Who are you really BEING when you’re DOING what you’re doing? ‘Are you congruent and are your values aligned, in your thoughts, words and action steps, in both your inner and outer lives?’ In the words of Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do!

4. Old Economy: “When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.”

New Economy: Here, there’s a need to reflectively think about what you do in the wake of any situation. Is your default reaction to see it through the ‘victim lens’ or do you see life through the ‘opportunity lens?’ In the new economy, everything you encounter and everyone you interact with offer you new learning and an opportunity for collaboration, synergy and growth. You must have a deep awareness of who you are and also have the courage to embrace all of you, both your weaknesses and your strengths!

Thus, When life hands you Lemons:
a) YOU complain and gripe that they are not ripe enough, big enough, sweet enough. OR

b) YOU ignore them and waste your time searching for apples, till someday, you get famished and realize the lemons are now rotten and have gone bad. OR

c. YOU get angry and become permanently mad at the world. To express your self-justified anger and self-inflicted pain, you throw the lemons at others.

Or cut them up and squirt the juice into people’s eyes so that they too can experience your pain and desolation. And then you all hang out and swap stories of your pain, while drinking your bitter tequila/gin/lemon filled cup. OR

d) YOU are grateful for your lemons and embrace the challenge and opportunity they hold. And even though you may prefer apples or oranges, you decide to take action, turn them into lemonade and sell it all for profit.

Also, you plant the seeds and grow a lemon orchard. You begin to attract like-minded people who embraced their lemons. And you share ideas and joint-venture with them. Then, with the profits from your deals, you buy apples (your preferred fruit) 🙂 and bigger, riper, sweeter lemons which you sell (and give some away) to those in group (a), (b) and (c)!

In fact, you become so busy creating different opportunities, and consequently, enriching your inner and outer world. Your lemons suddenly become the keys that unlock your life’s purpose! It all starts with a simple step.

Whatever skills, talents, energy, money, time, passions, pains, relationships/networks…be grateful for them and use them passionately, powerfully and purposefully.

Everything you have in your life right NOW, whether good or ‘bad’, are your life lemons. the choice of what to do with them is yours.

You have the unique talents and skills to co-create your reality and design your destiny. Are you ready to take a chance and bet on YOU? Are you ready to get out of your own damn way? 🙂

The questions then become: Will you continue to sit on the toxic fence and continue telling ‘woe me’ stories of blaming, complaining, condemning and justifying why life handed you ‘bad’ lemons OR will today be the day you decide to take ACTION in the direction of your dreams and goals?

Are you ready to hear, see and live your truth by telling ‘wow me’ stories of yourself, taking control of your destiny and owning up to the responsibility and consequences for your actions and results?

Your goals are your sacred contracts you hold with yourself. If you are not willing to honour your commitment to yourself, it is near impossible to honour your commitment to others. Conversely, the universe returns to you exactly what you put out.

Say your goals exactly how you want them and take congruent actions to fulfil them. BE who you want to become. You can attract only what and who you are. Dream wonderful dreams and co-create your destiny with God!

The preceding is a guest post from Juliet Ume, MBA –Co-Founder and Executive Director at Whole Woman Network. Juliet is the author of the upcoming books: “UN-Locking Your HeArt of Leadership” and “Today, I Will Not Bow”. A self-described Life-Connoisseur, who loves life and the whole human experience, Juliet was nicknamed a ‘reminderist’, [one who reminds us of that which we already know; that we are not fractured or broken and NOW is the perfect time to replace that fallacy with a new, beautiful truth: we are worthy, empowered, complete, whole creatures and our life journey is to return to wholeness]!

She is a passionate advocate of WomEntrepreneurship, Leadership, Investment & Financial Literacy for women and youth (especially girls). Her mission is simply to engage, educate and empower women, regardless of their levels of income or background, to return to ‘wholeness’ and live Healthier, Sexier, Wealthier Lives using Faith-based, Scientific and Universal (Common-Sense) principles! Follow her on Twitter: @wholewomaninc, @julietumeinc. Enjoy some of her portfolio of poems on her Floetry Blog and follow her daily reflective posts on Facebook.

Her message is simply: “To use the power of written-spoken-sung WORDS to connect, heal, empower, change and transform our inner and outer worlds. Words have power in the meaning and interpretation we choose to give them and all of life is synchronistic poetry in motion! Are you telling empowering stories about yourself and others?”