Matt Tuckey is a writer from Oldham, England. He covers celebrities, night life, Manchester, fitness, creative writing, social media, confidence and events. Some of this may, in some way, help others. Or maybe it'll just entertain you for a while.

Thursday, 30 May 2013

Here’s
an exercise suggested by a colleague of mine who’s been reading the
blog for a few weeks now.

Dish
out a slip of paper to each member of the group. Ask them to write a
popular song title on a slip of paper. Next, ask them to fold up the
slips and throw them into the middle of the table. Mix up the folded
slips. Ask each person to pull out a slip at random. The title you’ve
been given is the theme for your vignette.

For
ten minutes, I’d like you to tell a story on the theme of the song
title you’ve received. Inside this story, I’d like you to
surreptitiously lace in as many song titles as possible.

Here’s
mine:

Tracey
Jones could see only the ceiling.

“Stop!”
somebody yelled.

The
driver killed the engine.

She
was dizzy. Her head hurt. She felt a little sorry for herself, but
she thought, everybody hurts sometimes. The driver emerged upside
down in her vision. She recognised the uniform. You’ve got me
burning up, she thought. He started to sit her up. Passengers check
their watches, grumbling.

An
elderly lady scolded a businessman. “Have a little patience,” she
grumbled.

A
skater boy spoke up. “Get some help,” He said. “Go now!”

“I’ve
got to stay,” said the driver. “If I go, who’s going to drive
you home?”

“Okay,
think,” said the skater boy. “I’ll find someone.”

“Please
don’t go,” said Tracey. “Don’t leave me this way.”

“Hang
on in there, baby,” he reassured her.

Pity
overwhelmed her as the colour drained from her face. “Take a look
at me now,” she moaned.

Song
inclusion count: 17.

Now.
Once the buzzer’s gone, each take turns reading out the stories.
Don’t tell the group the theme of your own story (the song title
you picked out.) When you hear a song title in the midst of the
vignette, shout out PING.

At the
end of each vignette, see if anyone can guess what song they picked
out as a theme.

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Despite
having dished out such vitriolic lambasting on this blog towards
local house music club Venus, I still found myself walking straight
in there on Sunday night. It was before midnight and the club was
still quiet, and when I ordered a soft drink the bartender picked up
that I was driving and gave me the OJ for free.

Unfortunately
my mates- arriving later- had been stopped at the door, so the free
drinks were shortlived. I came outside to meet them.

M1
was STEAMING and quite dejected. “Mate,” he said, hugging me,
“I've been out all afternoon.”

“You
shouldn't have told them you were a doorman,” said F1, his
girlfriend.

We
walked off towards Revolution. “To be honest,” I purported, “It's
more likely to be the amount of alcohol you've drank.”

I
described the numerous problems I've had with Venus over the years
such as this and this.
“I never mentioned it before because I didn't want to be negative,
but... fuck 'em.”

We
got into Revolution, where I proceeded to crack onto women who the girls in our group told
me I “could have got much better than.” (I didn't get anything
from said women anyway.)

But
before long, we were all in a house-party mood so we shot off to M1
and F1's house on the outskirts of Manchester, where I figured that
if I was staying over there'd be no problem with me dropping my first
MDMA bomb.This resulted in me dancing like a twat for hours and hours, but in
fact being out-danced by a girl, who we will name F2, which was a
first. She was on the same as me. I followed this up by eating a
mountain of pizza and garlic bread, an inclusion that I had no
recollection of anyone ordering, and eventually collapsing on the
sofa with a Romanian barmaid.

But
sleep evaded me, and at around 9am I convinced myself that the bomb
had passed out of my system and I drove home to the enveloping
warmth of my own bed.

So,
once again, Venus was a let-down- under different circumstances this
time. Hellufan after-party, though.

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

I
noticed that the acronym BFF Stands for Best Friend Forever over on
The Urban Dictionary. I'd always assumed it meant Best Female Friend, meaning the
close-but-platonic woman-friend of a straight bloke who also has his
bloke mates. He can also confide in this BFF and get female advice
from her. So presumably when I've said BFF before, people have not
really understood me... until perhaps now. The Urban Dictionary have
published this- my third entry. Check definition 19.

Sunday, 26 May 2013

This
week, things got equally messy in Manchester: I went to a stag party
in Manchester The BFF (Best Female Friend, it isn't in the Urban Dictionary - yet) is getting married.
I went on her fiance's stag do. We dressed him as a Teletubby.

The women loved him! Too late, girls!

It
occurred to me that most of the girls out in town would have been the
target age group- i.e. an infant- when Teletubbies first emerged on
our screens. THAT is scary.

I
made a good find this week. If you go to the gym, you need to
download the PC Radio app. Internet radio on the go. The stations are
categorised by genre so it's incredibly easy to find a station with
just your type of music. I was blasting Digitally Imported- featuring non-stop
cutting-edge house music.

Listening
to your favourite music can be a massive benefit to working out. Most
gyms play mainstream dance music channels, so if cheesy dance and RnB
isn't your thing, the gym can be extra hard work. I would recommend
getting the headphones that clip onto the back of your ear, though,
so they don't fall out during situps etc.

Four
new records.

Seated
row with vertical grip- up 1 notch.

Inverted
pulley pulldown. Hold the left handle with your right hand and your
right with your left. Swoop your arms down and out like you're
parting a huge pair of curtains.- up 1 notch.

Abs
machine. 3 extra discs, 50 reps- up 2 notches.

Now
for a bank holiday Sunday trip to Venus Manchester... Will they let me in, I wonder, after the damning review I gave them
after the last time I visited?
Let's find out...

Going
back in time a little here, let's take a look at Day 24 of NaPoWriMo, and the anagram challenge
they suggest.

I
used an anagram generator, one they suggested, resulting in some ridiculous word combinations.
But I also wrote out my name- MATTHEW TUCKEY- and cut the paper into
slips for each letter. This allowed me to pin down particular words
and see what other words I could create out of the remaining slips.

Here
are a few of the best:

TAKE
THY WET CUM

EAT
MY WET KUTCH

THAT
MUCK WET, YE?

I
then decided to throw in my middle name ALAN to create more combos.

WALK
A NUTTY MACHETE

WHY
LACTATE EMU TANK?

ACTUATE
MY TAN WHELK

ATTACH
MALE NEWT. YUK!

ATTACH
MY KEY WALNUT

ME:
CATWALK HYENA. TUT!

NUT
ATE MY CHEAT WALK

U
EAT THAT CLAM, WENKY!

WALKY
MUTANT CHEAT

TUT,
METHANE YAK CLAW

TWAT
CAMEL, ETHAN. YUK!

NUKE
TWATTY CAMEL. HA!

HEY
NUTELA MACK TWAT!

U
MALT A CAT THEY KNEW

LA!
THE MAUY KNEW TACT. (Okay, so using foreign words now.)

CU:
A LANKY TWAT THEME

WE
TANK THAT CLAY EMU

AHA.
TWEET MY CLUNK. TA!

TEAT
MEAT CHUNK, YAWL!

TEAL
MUTE YACHT WANK

HEY,
MA! CULT TEAT WANK!

CULT:
THEY WANT ME. KAA?

LAMENT,
EAT, CATHY KEW.

HE,
YAK CUNT MEAL, TWAT.

A
WHEEL TUCK MY ANT. TA!

LA
MUNTA! CHEEKY TWAT!

CUT
THE WEAKLY MANTA

A
NUT ATTACK MY WHEEL

NUTTY
WHACK ATE MEAL

KNEEL
AT A CUTTY: WHAM!

There
are plenty of totally deranged images to inspire thousands of surreal
poems, including supermodel hyenas, moving parts that abduct insects,
strange reasons to be quiet on a boat, dangerous weapons with
dangerous personae of their own, aquatic lizards, the forced
consumption of seafood and arrogant camels. In fact, there's a whole
Terry Pratchett novel in there. I might come back to this over the
next few weeks.

Why
not give it a shot yourself and see what anagrams your name provides?

Monday, 20 May 2013

Dirty
stories are not for everyone. They might not be for you. They
probably won't be for your mum. You might not advise your boss checks
out a short fiction piece about someone losing their virginity, or
poem about a shy but eloquent driving instructor being coerced into
his / her first threesome. Sex is still taboo, particularly here in
the UK. In a lot of places, writing about it is still frowned upon.

This
could be because a lot of what people perceive “erotica” to be-
the likes of EL James, or worse, the articles in Fiesta- is actually
garbage. Erotica- good erotica-
is free of the clichéd scenarios, flowery metaphors, vulgar
descriptions and general bad writing that surfaces in popular smut.
This is another reason why sex writing is looked down upon- a good
portion of it is horseshit, and its critics have never been exposed
to- or have never sought out- anything better.

But
fuck it, I've written about sex before and I'm going to do it again,
and hopefully the right way too. In fact, I have some smut/ erotica/
dirty stories- whatever you want to call it- stored on my computer
and it hasn't been polished off yet.

Okay,
bad choice of words. I haven't finished it and fired it out yet.
Wait. No. I- well, you get what I mean. Sex is everywhere, so there's
no reason not to write about it. It's not a big deal. Something that
is too big a deal for me, though, is the thought of reading out
drafts of these stories at Writers Connect at the local
Wetherspoons. That WOULD be awkward. So instead, I figured I'd use
Scribophile, a creative writing feedback site, to gain advice on these pieces
and knock them into shape.

Once
the poems and stories are ready, I'll be using a few free online
databases to search out markets for the work. I've found a few sites
that look really helpful. Stay tuned for site reviews.

I've
only written a small amount of erotica so far, but a good amount of
what I've written has ended up in magazines. So let's see if I can
build on that success over the next month.

Sunday, 19 May 2013

10
min old-style cross strainer- not sure what you'd call this machine.
It works similarly to most cross trainers (i.e. like the one I warm
up on), but it doesn't operate with the same kind of circular motion
that my hands and feet are used to. Up 0.08 km.

I've
come to the realisation that I was in much better shape before I
started doing extra cardio in my gym sessions. When I moved out in
2010, getting my own place coincided with my previous local gym shutting down.

I
joined OCL, and found the facilities were in much better condition that
Bodymatters' were. There's something about smart gym equipment that
makes you want to use it- to give certain machines a shot, and keep
using them. That's why I found myself mixing a lot more cardio into
my workout, and hence cutting down on weight training. This, coupled
with problems with the new flat, my memory, social life and money-
leading to me eating cheap, salt-heavy food- meant that despite all
the working out I was doing, I was falling out of shape.

Since
then, I've overcome pretty much all of these problems. My diet's in
order, I'm sleeping better (sort of- okay, I've got the pills for
it-), I've overcome problems with friends and I'm doing better at the
gym, as these blog posts reiterate.

Yet
I've not got back to the physique I once had. I've tried doing long
cardio sessions to burn off fat, I've kept up with weights and I'm
mixing cardio in alongside it all. This is probably because the
cardio machines at OCL are much better than Bodymatters' were. So.
What if I cut back on cardio, only using the cross trainer to warm
up? What if I spent the rest of the sessions purely weight training?
It makes sense that, now that I'm eating well like I did when I lived
with my mum and dad, and now that I'm on protein shakes, that I
should be able to tone up really quickly if I skip the cardio
machines and focus on strength. Especially seeing as you can burnmore calories doing weight training than you can doing cardio.

I'm
going to give this a shot for the next month. Time to get shredded!

Thursday, 16 May 2013

This
was possibly the dish that required the most preparation out of all
of the meals I’ve cooked. It comprises of 18 separate ingredients-
most of them spices- and a good 12 hours of preparatory time.
Forewarning- make sure your knives are sharp for this one. I didn’t.

That’s
the first mistake I made, followed by not buying a garlic crusher.
The next mistake was to not read through the instructions from
beginning to end before starting the recipe. I didn’t realise
exactly how long it would take to make. After making the marinade, I
fridged it for 12 hours. The next morning at 8am I carried on making
the dish (realising I didn’t have an appropriate baking rack
either. The grill mesh had to do).

Once
the steps had been taken, it wasn’t that difficult. I just followed
the instructions. Ripping out the chicken’s spinal cord a la
Predator took a bit of elbow grease, but essentially, the time and
effort I spent preparing it was worth it. Just.

I took
it to a Jacob’s join in work, having not actually tasted the dish
at all. It went down a treat! I even got marriage proposals from the
(somewhat older) ladies in work. It was hella spicy though. I’ve
even had people asking me for the recipe! But of course, by the time
I’d brought it in I’d forgotten what the recipe was called.

So.
I’ve cooked for myself. I’ve cooked for my family. I’ve cooked
for work. Plan for the next month: to cook for friends, and cook for
a woman…

Monday, 13 May 2013

A
glass triangular prism sits on the pavement outside the Armani store
on Deansgate. It’s hardly noticeable during the day, but at night
the light emanating from underneath it, and the door staff, isolated
from colleagues at any other nearby bar, draw a lot of attention. To
read the bar’s name, you’ve got to walk right up to the door
staff, to check the pale white lettering printed in a slender font on
the glass.

I went
on Bank Holiday Sunday. In front of me, a group of
twenty-something-year-old lads were being stopped by security.

I told
the doorman I was going to meet a girl. He let me in, past the
exasperated group and down the long, under-lit staircase to the bar
area where the bar staff were mixing cocktails over Bunsen burners. I
met my date near the DJ booth, where deep house pulsed from an
immense touch-screen glass mixing station. It’s worth going to see
that alone. (But of course, my date was better to look at.) The
painted brick walls and iron ceiling offered good reverb, and looks a
lot better than I’m making it sound. Before long we were smashed on
“Love You Long Time” cocktails and the supplies from their
(incredibly tall) back-bar.

The
toilets, normally the downfall of many a “classy” bar, were on
top form: clean, with soap and moisturiser dispensers and Dyson
Airblade hand-dryers. On the way back to the bar, I noticed the
walkway passes not only the restaurant’s dining room but the
kitchen, and you can stop to watch the chefs frying up behind the
darkened glass.

A
rough guide for a night out: check this bar out, then head into
Spinningfields for venues of the
same class. But beforehand, just keep your group small, load up your
wallet and dress to impress.

Saturday, 11 May 2013

In
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo becomes the ring
bearer to return the ring to its place of origin, Mount Doom, so he
can destroy it. That is his dramatic need. How he gets there and
completes the task is the story.

The
character's need determines the creative choices he/she makes during
the screenplay, and gaining clarity about that need allows you to be
more complex, more dimensional, in your character portrayal.

Without
conflict, there is no action. Without action, there is no character.
Action is Character. What a person does is what he is, not what he
says!

-Screenplay:
The Foundations of Screenwriting, Syd Field

There
are two subjects that I frequently write about on this blog: creative
writing and self-improvement. They are two fairly distinct topics.
I've also written quite a few posts about my life and the slightly
weird situations I find myself in.

Occasionally,
there's a crossover. I'll have an anecdote that bridges two of those.
Take this one, for example: I am 15 years old, reading a copy of the
Reservoir Dogs screenplay instead of revising for my GCSEs. I realise
that this is what I want to do with my life: I want to tell stories
for the cinema. I want to write. The only half-decent jobs I'd ever
be applicable for, however, are in IT and that's what I've applied to
do at college. I'll never get the grades to study media, which might-
at a long-shot- lead to a career in screenwriting. Or that's what I
think, until I find an intermediate course at a local college, a
course that doesn't require any grades at all. This is it: my first
step to becoming a screenwriter.

A
year later, I've made it onto the advanced course. A couple of people
from the media industry come to the college to give careers advice.
One tells us that to stand out from the crowd, and to be hired by
media managers, a degree can be really helpful.

Another
year later, I've learned an introduction to a range of sectors within
the media industry- the goings-on in the worlds of print media,
design, video, sound recording and editing, live TV and radio. I've
finished the intermediate level work and am half-way through the
advanced course. I still want to be a screenwriter, but I've learned
so much about how competitive each sector of the media is and how
each area- be it graphics or marketing- are totally different lines
of work. We have touched on screenwriting here and there, but I've
struggled with the modules that relate to it- the video modules I've
found challenging due to memory difficulties and learning to use the
technical equipment, and with organising groups of people like actors
and crew. I don't really know where my strengths are and
Screenwriting has become a pipe dream.

It's
the start of my final year at college. The course tutor tells us that
if we want to go to university next year, we'll have to fill in our
UCAS forms now. The idea of me actually being taken on by a university seems
ridiculous. I got a very low merit grade in my intermediate media
course, and 1 grade C in my GCSEs. I feel like I'm being kidded, but
I don't have anything to lose. I fill all six options on my UCAS
form. As we've been learning about various different media forms, I
have no idea what to focus on and screenwriting has been pushed to
the back of my mind. I apply for more general media courses at degree
level; an HND in Media Production is right down at the bottom. I send
it off and forget about it.

Whilst
I'm hammering through reports, practical projects and evaluations, a
letter comes in the post. It's an invitation for an interview at The
University of Salford- my last choice. I attend the interview and it
goes well- I surprise myself with what knowledge I've actually
retained- but I'm intimidated by the prospect of me doing this at
higher education level with the intention of doing it professionally.
Here I am, waffling about 2-camera set-ups and interview techniques.
It all sounds very convincing. I'm too dazed, due to hard-and-fast
work, hampered by forgetting countless things, to stop and think
about why I ever started on the intermediate course to begin with.
Regardless, I gave the interview a shot.

Days
later, I get accepted onto the course. I'm in disbelief. My next two
years, at least, are planned out. I just hope they support me in
whatever way I need.

One
of the last college modules I complete is Freelance Journalism. The
majority of this is written work, an area where I seem to be getting
a lot of Distinctions. There's a flash of inspiration as I look
through all of my grades from the last two years. Each module has
four grades: Planning and research, Implementation, Evaluation and
Outcome. Each grade is either a Pass, Merit or Distinction. My grades
are mostly Merits, but the Distinctions are scattered around the work
where writing was a major part. Four in Freelance Journalism. A lot
more in Evaluations. A tutor tells me my writing has come on a long
way.

There's
a part of me that wants to “pull the handbrake on”- to say, “Wait
a minute. I seem to be a dab hand with this here. I should be doing a
writing course, not a technical one.” But as I've been turned down
for every other course I've applied for, I assume that the place I've
been given is the ONLY course at the ONLY university that would ever
take me.

I'm
prepared to bet that I'd have been wrong. Why didn't I get that
movie-style flashback of me trying to read the Reservoir Dogs
screenplay in school, and being filled with that urge- that NEED to
tell stories and to put sentences together? Why didn't I look at
these grades and realise that I was more likely to fulfil my original
ambition than I was of having a chance of succeeding on this tech
course and getting a job in that field?

Because
I forgot all about my dramatic need.

I
had pushed those harboured desires to write to the back of my brain,
where they stayed until my 26th birthday. Then, whilst
chowing down on jalapeno pizza, I was talking to a relative about
blogging. She asked me if I'd considered sending it out to anywhere-
local magazines or newspapers. I said I'd never thought of that, but
there's no reason why I couldn't, I suppose. I'd been writing for fun
for a couple of years, but at that moment in Albert's Shed in
Castlefield, the penny dropped.

I
was a writer. It was no wonder I'd not succeeded at anything else.
The grades I'd got at school, college and uni were all average except
those I got for the written work. The hopeless attempt I'd made to
join the Armed Forces years after graduating had involved testing-
I'd scored abysmally at the memory and numeracy sections, but very
strong in the literacy section (and my electrical comprehension score
was very high, bizarrely).

There
was one other problem I have had- aside from applying to the wrong
jobs and doing the wrong course. Throughout college, university and
subsequent jobsearching, I'd forgotten what I wanted in the end. As
a result of not having this “dramatic need” of my own, I didn't
know how to behave. My whole personality was “wrong”- I was shy,
depressed, directionless and frustrated. I wanted to develop myself
and become more confident, but into what? What was I striving for? I
wanted a girlfriend, but what else? Regardless of other people, what
did I want from life?

I
had no idea. Not until that birthday meal. I am a writer, first and
foremost. I do reception work to pay the bills, and I'm grateful to
be in a job in this climate, but integrally, I write. Since that
conversation on my 26th, I've become much more confident–
overall, with writing, and with talking to friends, family and
colleagues. I've made decisions based on that need and I feel like I
know myself a lot more. I stumbled across that opening quote more
recently and it spoke volumes to me. It said, know what you want and
you will know who you are. And knowledge, as we all know, is power.
Power, even if only over yourself, is confidence.

Friday, 10 May 2013

Scribophile
is a creative writing feedback site. You upload work. You offer
reviews to others. They offer reviews to you. It's a format used by
many sites, yet the majority I've dabbled in have been dire- lame
reviews, inactive accounts, bad writing to begin with. I have been
trying one site after another.

Scribophile
is different. The writers are good at writing. They are fine
reviewers. The system is fair and effective. Check out why.

When
you sign up to the site, you can choose between Basic- a free
account- or Premium, for $9 a month, allowing you to upload multiple
pieces and with a guarantee of exposure to other writers on the site.
I went for Basic.

Basic
promises you the opportunity to upload 2 pieces of writing. This
promise is fulfilled once you've dished out enough critiques to other
writers.

After
setting up an account, your next task is to review. As April was
NaPoWriMo, I focussed on reviewing poetry. The poetry section was under
“fiction”, which was a little confusing, but it appropriately
filtered out the prose fiction and articles. I'll be referring to
poems in this blog post as an example, but the same descriptions of
the site could apply to fiction.

To
pick out a piece to review, you can choose to search for newest
writing, work with bonuses (more karma points, more on this later) or
random writing (any format or genre). After this, you're shown a poem
by another site member. When you decide to review this, you're
offered 2 different forms through which to give feedback: a comment
for general feedback (i.e. “I liked this”) or a critique for real
feedback. At first, I wondered why anyone would bother with the
former. We're using the site to improve our work and prepare it for
publication, so who wants general nicey-nicey feedback?

It
did occur to me, though, that sometimes critiquers might be starting
out with writing and might not spot any errors in a piece of writing.
We all need to find our feet somewhere, so this site might help
those. Also, if a writer is particularly skilled, their poem or story
might be too good for a lot of people to be critical about. So
comments may work in these scenarios.

The
site is versatile. When you start your critique, you're offered three
different methods for giving feedback: Inline, Template or Freeform.

An
Inline critique allows you to insert your own annotations into the
text of the poem itself, to point out specific details. These appear
highlighted to distinguish them from the original writing. This style
is effective as you don't have to copy sections of the text to back
up particular ideas or suggestions, and the reader doesn't have to
wade back through their own text to check the specifics- the advice
is placed right where it's best seen. I found this to be the easiest
to write, and probably the most helpful to receive.

A
Template review asks you to write suggestions in separate boxes that
relate to plot, pacing, description, point of view, characters,
dialogue, grammar and spelling and finally general comments. This is
good for those starting out in the critiquing field. The prompts
encourage you to check the work with a more detailed, investigative
eye and indicate the kind of writing elements that a good critiquer
should be aware of.

A
Freeform review allows you to put your thoughts into a standard block
of text. However, if you want to quote the original piece to draw
attention to something, you may have trouble copying and pasting. I
couldn't do this using Firefox's browser.

The
more words you write in your review, the more “karma points” you
receive. With enough points, you can post work and unlock critiques
other writers have written for you.

After
you've written a review, you can read other contributors' reviews of
the same piece. These reviews come with “review” options
themselves- you can click to mark them as “thorough”,
“enlightening”, “encouraging” and “constructive”. There's
also a “like” button and an opportunity to flag a “bad
critique”. The amount of clicks you get on these reviews will
increase your “reputation points”, indicating to other site
members how much respect you've gained from the reviews you've given.

Before
long, you'll be allowed to upload a piece of writing and your work
will go into the Member Spotlight, which is basically the top section
of the list of reviewable pieces. Reviewers will get full karma
points for critiquing your work. You'll receive knowledgeable,
helpful critiques quite quickly. It will leave the spotlight after
receiving 3 long critiques. After uploading my first piece- something
I've been sitting on for 2 years- I woke up with 18 notifications, a
couple of reviews and LOADS of replies from The Writing Forum- a
section for discussing the writing process, which I'd been
contributing to.

Again,
people in the Forum have good ideas, interesting questions and good
discussion and debate. Reputation points are given and received in
this section of the site too. I love the site's witty update notices.
When you post in the discussions, the site will inform you to “hang
in there” or will notify you that it is “reticulating splines”
while it saves your message.

Also
on the site is a Member Publication Showcase, a section for showing
off published pieces of writing that had previously been critiqued on
Scribophile. (You need to go Premium for this.) You'll also find tons
of writing advice (from the Scribophile admins themselves and the
best of the reviewers on the site) in the Writing Academy. This is a
collection of free writing resources- advice on storytelling
techniques, grammar and legal issues.

The
only problem I had with the site related to responding to reviews.
Other sites will let you comment on the reviews that you receive, so
that the reviewer- and other site users- can engage in conversation
under that specific review. On Urbis, a similar feedback site that
stopped working a few years ago, all of this could be seen in the
same place on the same screen. With Scribophile, you're asked to
thank reviewers by going to their “scratchpad”- like a wall on
Facebook, a place to leave messages for that person but are visible
to all site users- to discuss the piece reviewed. I found this
difficult as there's no instant hyperlink to the story / poem you're
discussing.

Regardless,
Scribophile seems like the site I've been searching for since Urbis'
days came to a close. Join me on the site here.
Let's help each other out.

Thursday, 9 May 2013

The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people
who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.-Hunter S Thompson

A year
ago I attempted to increase my endurance and burn some fat by walking on a treadmill for over an hour, whilst reading a book.

In
retrospect I felt that I could have trained a little longer, and that
I hadn’t pushed myself to see what happens when you go “all-out-”
to keep reading until your legs seize up and the words go blurry in
front of you.

In
order of taking things “to the edge”, I figured I needed a book
written by someone who knows exactly where that edge is: the good
doctor and godfather of Gonzo, Hunter S Thompson.

I
managed to read about two-thirds of Fear and Loathing on the Campaign
Trail ’72, walking at a stroll of 5kph.

Thompson’s
stories of following the presidential candidates across the country,
whipping up ridiculous scenarios (accusing TV station NBC of
reporting that their own reporter Doug Kiker was found trying to
unscrew his own “neck pipe” makes for an interesting anecdote)
and finding himself involved in rumours that he may or may not have
started himself (accusing presidential candidate Ed Muskie of taking
speed, smack, downers and Ibogaine whilst implying he was trying to
overcome some kind of speech impediment, for example) are hilarious.
I’ve got to admit, though, my interest in 1970s politics isn’t so
strong as to hold my attention- especially not whilst I’m trying to
get fit.

I read
for 2hrs 39, then toilet-stopped, then read again, stomping for a
further 2hrs 56. Total time walked: 5hrs 35. I stopped when my legs-
and my brain- had totally seized up. My brain healed quicker than my
legs. They’re still killing 4 days on.

Conclusion:
This was a silly idea. It wore me down, and I’ve been falling
asleep at stupid times ever since.

Monday, 6 May 2013

“Matt
has been single for 2 years. His signature dance move is ‘The
Hangman’. He once took part in a naked photo-shoot in Manchester
city centre. Matt likes to sing Motown classics and his singing voice
has been likened to that of Brian, the dog from ‘Family Guy’.”

-Sky
Living.sky.com

Well,
in case you haven't heard me banging on about it, I was on Sky
Living's Sing Date on Tuesday. I
don't have Sky, and none of you tight bastards invited me 'round to
watch it, so I still haven't seen it.

No,
I'm kidding. Some of you have, and I WILL get 'round to it, thanks.

I
just watched it unfold on social media on the night. “Amazing”
and “legend” were words being thrown around on Facebook. Sing Date themselves tweeted me, describing me as “The Lord of the
Dance” after my ridiculous break-dancing moves.

So,
yes, a profound success all 'round, I think it's safe to say. Now all
I need to do is go and see it at whoever has it stored on their Sky
HD. Oh, and can anyone get me a copy?

On
Saturday I hit Prohibition, which is turning into a bit of a
regular haunt for me. Good house music, DJs and décor make this a
treat. It comes at a price, though. Drinks aren't cheap. I got
spotted! It took me a few moments to properly grasp the situation.

Girl:
I know you from somewhere.

Me:
No, I'm not Jim Carrey... OR Harry Kewell... I was in here a couple
of weeks ago though.

Girl:
Nope, none of those.

*5
minutes pass. Penny drops*

Me:
Have you get Sky?

Girl:
Yes...?

Me:
Have you got Sky Living?

*Her
eyes start to get really wide like she's just understood some
profound moral truth*

Girl:
Yes!

Me:
Did you see Sing Date the other day?

Girl:
OH MY GOD YOU'RE THE GUY SHE PICKED

Most
of the time, when someone recognises you, it's from either seeing you
face-to-face or seeing a picture of you on Facebook. Somebody
recognising you from TV is a weird scenario. It's not something
that's at the forefront of your mind when you're half-drunk, throwing
yourself around to Parra Dice.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Poetry
is possibly one of the most unpopular forms of literature in
existence today. Trying to get people to read something other than
their own Facebook news feed is a challenge, so trying to open
people's minds to the medium of poetry- an outlet most people haven't
looked at since they were last forced to just before they left
school- is particularly tough.

I'm
one of the few people I know with an interest in the form, and I've
been dabbling with poetry throughout April. After all, April was
National Poetry Writing Month in America,
and a lot of the blogs I read are US-based (see the blogrolls on the
right). I thought I'd get involved. Whether any of my friends or
regular blog readers checked out my numerous poetry posts I don't
know. Whether anyone thought any of these posts made any sense is
also debatable. But the organisers of NaPoWriMo came up with some
interesting prompts and I enjoyed dabbling with these ideas.

At
the start of the month, my plan was to focus on feedback on poems and
getting work published. Well, I've found a good site for getting reviews on poetry. I'll
write it up here soon. But I spent most of the month working with the
surprisingly effective prompts (the fruits of which can be seen in
the last few blog posts, with a few more in the pipeline).
Publication, however, is unlikely to happen until late this year...

Would You Like to Write for Power is a State of Mind?

Here at PIASOM I'm looking for guest bloggers to get involved. I want you to:1) Tell the world about the superb city of Greater Manchester. If know of something quirky, awesome, bizzare or important happening, why not get involved?2) Show me your ideas of producing great literature. Do you perform excercises at a writing group? Do you compete in poetry slams / rap battles? Are you setting up a magazine? Tell me and get your writing seen. More info:http://powerisastateofmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/would-you-like-to-write-for-power-is.html