Thinking About Death

This is my first post with my new eye-tracking computer. This computer is a real blessing; it feels like I’m making a fresh start, like I’ve been given a new lease on life. How ironic it is that I felt that this post should be about death.

When I was a kid, I had a friend I’ll call “Bubba.” (There were no kids called Bubba where I grew up so I figure that’s a safe name to go with). Bubba was a high-maintenance friend that never called before coming over and always seemed to show up at my house when I was in the middle of doing something important, like watching Gilligan’s Island. He was hyper and never stopped jabbering on about stuff I wasn’t the least bit interested in. No matter how disinterested I acted, he would stay for hours and would even invite himself to dinner. To my immature and selfish mind, Bubba was annoying.

Before becoming a follower of Christ, I viewed thoughts and discussions about death much like I viewed Bubba knocking at my door – an unwelcome annoyance. After becoming a follower of Christ and coming to believe that my eternity in heaven was secured, I basically put the issue of death on a shelf thinking that one day, when I was old and gray, I would have to take it down, dust it off and deal with it. Even as a Christian, I still viewed death as “Bubba.” I never thought that welcoming death into my thoughts and prayers every day would be one of the best decisions of my life.

Old age, tragic accidents and horrible illnesses remind us that invincibility (in these bodies) is a myth; we are deceiving ourselves. ALS jolted me out of that denial comfort zone and forced me to face death head on and it’s been the most life-transforming experience. I hope to convince others that thinking about death on a daily basis is good for us emotionally and spiritually. This is the exact opposite of what I believed before ALS invaded my life.

“…we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead…” (1 Corinthians 1:9)

A few months ago I read an article that listed the top 5 regrets of the dying. They are as follows:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with friends (Bubba, where are you?)

I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I suppose everyone’s list of deathbed regrets would vary from the above list, but in truth we’ll only have one regret on our deathbed: “I wish that I hadn’t lived in denial that this day would come.” All of our regrets grow out of denial about our death. One would think, as I once thought, that thinking about our death, putting ourselves on our deathbed, every day would be depressing, but I’ve discovered that the opposite is true.

Like me, Ebenezer Scrooge wasn’t changed by reflecting on his past or even by discovering how others viewed him; he was only transformed when he came to terms with his own mortality. Obviously “A Christmas Carol” is not based on the Bible, but I believe Dickens got that part right.

“…that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death…forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead…” (Philippians 3)

We rightly associate Easter with life, but Jesus’ whole mission was about defeating death. He had to face death before He could defeat it and so must we.

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About Bill Sweeney

In 1996, Bill was diagnosed with ALS (“Lou Gehrig’s Disease”) and the doctors told him he had 3-5 years to live. He is now completely paralyzed and unable to speak, but by God’s grace, he’s still alive and through his blog shares a message of hope in Christ - Unshakable Hope!

With God there is no such thing as coincidence and so I know I was supposed to come across your blog at this particular time. Although this post was written in April of last year I am drawn to it as we look ahead to Easter this year, because in the midst of life there is always death (the only constant in life, because we all will die one day). Thanks for inspiring hope in your readers; I’m grateful to have found you 🙂

“I hope to convince others that thinking about death on a daily basis is good for us.”
I have known this for a long time. Sometimes people very close to me find it disconcerting, but I have always known it .
You have to think regularly about death in order to live life….well….what’s the best word?…. (accurately, fully, completely) none of these words touch this. And you have to live life “accurately” (et. al) in order to die well.
I also know that dying is probably the most important thing we ever do.
I think about you, so I came over here.
I know you are doing all of the above…….
But with better adjectives.
❤ ❤
.

On that final day, I will regret the time I should have spent in prayer, the occasions I could have witnessed, the time I did not spend w/ loved ones, the material goods I did not share w/ the poor. I can only trust that the Lord — Who sees the end from the beginning — will make up for my deficiencies.

Your perspective is one of the healthiest I’ve ever encountered. My experience has been that when someone you love dies, you redouble your efforts to get more done. Finish well. Which doesn’t really mean work more. Enjoying the moment more is where Jesus is. In the moment. The story we have is already written. He knows all the chapters, none of which are a surprise. Thanks for your genuine and tender focus on this very real topic of life.

I enjoyed reading this and since I have a terminally ill dad about 10.000 km away from me – I can most certainly say that his perspective on his daughter and her family has radically changed. It’s amazing. Now, if only I can be the lighthouse of Jesus pointing my dad in the right direction…

As I have gotten older I have come to where I think about it almost everyday. It’s not at all morbid I don’t think. If we really believe it would should look forward to it. The only sad part are the ones you leave behind for awhile!!! Lord bless you brother!!!

Paul said “to live is Christ, and to die is gain,” he spoke too of being absent from the body meaning being present with the Lord, Bill I have begged the Lord to take me home to kill me to do whatever, ‘just get me out of this body for years’. Not because of my hope of eternal life as much as my desire to escape the intensity of my own disease. Now after the last 4 years of discovery, maybe I too can come to an unshakable hope, I would definitely say though as Paul “O death where is your STING? Oh grave where is your Victory?” Christ is our passover, and the last enemy to be destroyed according to REV. is death. “Therefore if any one be in Christ he ‘is’ a new creation, the old has passed away the new has come. We have come to everlasting life, and no enemy is strong enough to steal us away from the Fathers hand.

Thank you so much for your comments and those great verses, Hubert. I don’t think I would lose my hope if, like you, I was in great physical pain, but I certainly understand you wanting to escape that pain. I hope and pray that you’re doing better.

Bill – Each time I read one of your posts, you provide me with a new and clear vision of something else I’ve set aside. My Tom turned his back on God about 5 years ago and I’ve had a really tough time dealing with the negativity in his comments. I finally felt I had to ask him to not share his thoughts with me. I had never done that before. Finally, this past week I told Tom I was going to seek out a home church, that my spiritual well had gone dry. Tom said, “I hope you’ll let me go with you.” I know Tom’s spiritually healing won’t take place overnight nor will my spiritual well be filled with one walk into the church, but I do believe it’s a step in the right direction. Thanks for being there and showing your unwavering faith time after time.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Sheri. Has Tom gone to church with you yet? I think many of those who speak out against the things of God are, in a perverted kind of way, desperately seeking after Him. I’ve heard this from former atheists. Tom sounds like one of these.

Hi. I was wondering if you have read “90 Minutes in Heaven” and/or “Heaven is for Real?” I read both and now “Heaven is for Real” is a movie. I have not seen it yet, but I heard that Hollywood did a wonderful job of presenting it. Both are true stories. I’ve never seen heaven but have had “glimpses” in to the realm of the supernatural. One day we will all exchange out earthly “tent” for our heavenly mansion. Blessings!

Hi Sheryl. I have read “90 Minutes in Heaven,” but not the other one. Don Piper (the author of 90 Minutes) has spoken at our church. I enjoy those kind of books, in fact I am listening to the audio version of a book titled “To Heaven and Back” right now.
I will probably buy “Heaven is for Real” when it comes out on DVD.

Hi Bill, I’m always amazed at how God works through your creative writing! I wonder if an eye tracking computer would help my father-in-law who’s paralyzed from the neck down. He has a little bit of movement in his one arm, but no fine motor skills. I will encourage him to look into it. Thank you again for sharing what God has placed on your heart. May you continue to use your creative gifts in writing! If you have time, check out my new blog post called “Recognizing God at Work.” There’s a video in it from the classes I lead for women at church. 🙂

Thank you, Danielle. If your father-in-law is still able to speak clearly, he should probably go with a voice-to-text system (I would much rather do that if able). Regardless, I think a communication device would greatly enhance his quality of life. Let me know if he needs any information, I have done a lot of research.

As I write this I am listening to Kristene DiMarco’s “You make me brave” You are truly a remarkable human being. And Bill, you will be one of those I search for in heaven to let you know what an inspiration you always were to me. But not yet, please Lord, not yet, for you have so many more to inspire through your precious, uplifting faith! I continue to uphold you in prayer as Jewel and I walk along our community’s roads each day and God brings you to mind. Blessings always,

I agree with your perspective, and you quoted my Biblical focus (Phil. 3:21-22). I live with pain as a constant companion. This keeps me mostly in bed, as well. The longer I am “vertical,” standing or sitting, the greater the pain grows. I have learned much through this, as well. We tend to view life as though we can pretty much do as we want, and this seems true to many. Freedom, however, is not found there. Freedom truly comes after we realize how helpless we are, and how much we need God’s help. Death brings that perspective, as well. It is only as we yield our life that we gain much of anything significant. Though I would not wish my circumstances upon anyone, I continue to learn so much because of it. I am seriously blessed in my infirmities. I suspect you can relate.

Thank you, Steve, for sharing your profound thoughts. Other than muscle cramps and other relatively minor physical pain, my ALS isn’t painful. I feel horrible for people like you that live in pain 24/7!

Bill you are part of the reason I blog. Someone who keeps an open ear for additional insight; who remains teachable. That is not to say that I see myself as “teacher” and the readers as “pupils”. I have often said to Anthony Gomez (Salvoes in Faith) that we are all fellow travelers exploring a beach and discovering, quite by Providence, beautiful seashells. We share this interest and delight and the gracious Lord feeds such hunger and curiosity. “Open your mouth wide and I will fill it.” Today I discover; tomorrow it’s you.

One other comment. Perhaps you feel a compunction to reply to every comment. Don’t do this. It may become banter. Singing to the choir. Better you pour your time and remarkable technology into another hum-dinger of a message…or just simply how you are feeling as one of the members of today’s flock…Doug

Thanks, Doug. I had to reply to one thing you said because it’s been on my mind a lot lately – being teachable. This is so important because teachable people are humble and wise people – being teachable, at least for me, takes a conscious effort.

What a wonderful post! I’m so glad to now be aware of your blog. I will continue to read your words as they serve as a method of encouragement to me. Thank you for your dedication, commitment and joy in God.

i have been paralyzed with fear, shackled by apathy, abused, forgotten, homeless, i roamed freely and went nowhere to no one, i was strong and not always mindful of the weak. i have faced cancer, stroke, heart surgery, drowning, i had been pronounced dead more than once. And i submit to confessing that you Sir are more alive than many that walki in full unhindered physical capacity upon this earth. You are an inspiration, that chooses to “BE” an inspiration above and beyond the free-will choices you could have made. Sometimes…i bemoan the things i’ve lost, the things no longer within my physical capacity to do…it is then at these times that we can focus on what we CAN DO! And how Blessed we are to be able to see that.
Peace. (A.G.)

Great post, Bill! I am a born-again Christian, cancer survivor and I think about death all the time! Though I know my Savior is waiting joyously for me, I haven’t always thought about the moment of death in a positive way until recently. For some reason (go figure) God has been flooding my mind with thoughts of heaven in the past few months, including bringing three books about heaven experiences to me which I have read and been incredibly excited by. I also went and saw “God’s Not Dead” and “Heaven is for Real” recently and enjoyed both films. Our adult Bible study group last year studied Beth Moore’s book of Daniel which was outstanding and in it she gave a beautiful visual of the moment of death- She walked across the stage with her jacket on and about the middle of the stage let it slip off her back to the ground as she continued walking not missing a beat. She described the coat falling off as the moment we discard the flesh of this temporary mortal life and enter our Real, permanent lives in the spirit. I just thought it was a beautiful visual. And I do think that all of us- whether we have a life-threatening diagnosis or not-should be considering death each and every day. God tells us to number our days aright that we might gain a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12)-none of us knows when our last day on earth will be and just as we rejoice and are glad in This Day, we will be rejoicing all the more in the Day we enter our eternal state- we will be in the most glorious place of all with the glory of God shining upon us!…what greater thing to anticipate and look forward to while we are still on earth doing the work God prepared in advance for us to do! Thank you for this wonderful post…May Christ continue to bless you and all that you do!

Thank you, Nancy. I know there are people with an unhealthy fixation on death, but, I believe, living in denial (about our mortality) is also unhealthy for us spiritually and emotionally. In Christ, we can have a healthy fixation on death and heaven. As CS Lewis said, “The people that have thought most about the next world, have done the most for this world.”

Excellent post, Bill! The cartoon cracked me up. I’m so glad to hear that your new computer is like a ‘new lease on life’. ‘Soon and very soon we are gonna see the King.’ Too often I live like I’ve forgotten that. Thanks for reminding us to keep eternity on the forefront of our hearts and minds.

What a powerful, eloquent, beautifully written post about what really matters Bill, and I can’t think of a better message for this time of year, even though Easter has been and gone (and I do hope that your Easter was a truly blessed, joy-filled time with precious family and friends), but actually, as you say, for every day of the year. It is amazing isn’t it how our perspectives change as we go through life!
I’m so happy for you that you have the use of your new computer now and that it is such a help to you. So glad to have you back Bill, thank you so much for this post.

Yesterday was a joyous day. For Christians it is a day to celebrate our Savior and his reign over death. An early Sunrise service followed by breakfast served by the youth of our church was the beginning. I then had a couple hours to regroup, think about my morning service and do a little sewing before heading to our daughters for dinner and celebrating with family. It was a wonderful day and I am so blessed to have had ALL my children and grandchildren with us. The day was delightful with a fabulous dinner, Easter egg hunt and just sitting and enjoying the warm sunshine and watching the kids do all the things kids do. My husband and I then decided that we were going to end the day with a movie. “Heaven is for Real.” I had enjoyed the book several years ago and was looking forward to the movie. It was a perfect end to a perfect day. Yes, heaven is for real. I witnessed that when my father recently passed away. I was with him, right by his bed, holding his hand. Our journey was only about 87 days of 24-7 and it was a blessing. He was not always the kindest man and I think he knew that most of the time. It was sometime difficult to spend time there because he was “short” with me but not my other siblings. Not sure why, but he always wanted to hold my hand when the pastor came and I always held his. He was always looking to the corner of the room. I know he saw something there, but when we would ask him he didn’t say anything. We’d ask, “Is it Timmy”, our little brother. Or “is it Mom?” An old fishing buddy called him one night and he replied ” I am coming Vincent, I am coming”. I know he was being called. The night he passed away I was sleeping in the recliner, right next to his bead, and it got drafty. I mean really drafty. I knew it was angels all over in that room. I simply pulled up the covers on dad and myself and felt reassured that they were finally coming to take dad to heaven. Yes, “Heaven is for real”. I am so glad that you finally have your computer. Enjoy your new freedom. I look forward to more posts. Enjoy Spring. I think it might be right around the corner after our next three days of rain.

This post moved me in so many ways. Short, sweet and incredibly grounding. It came to me at the perfect time. I thoroughly enjoyed the comic you chose as well…I am surprised no one else commented about it! Its hilarious…AND a great reminder. Thank you for sharing your gift with others such as myself. Happy Easter and God bless.

Nicely worded…Thankful that you have what you need to continue your journey of writing. Yes as believers we have hope as we live for eternity. That’s the message those that are non-believers must realize. Happy Easter and continued blessings.

I’m a friend of Doug’s my name is Anthony Gomez…”Salvoes in faith” is a shared venture. I was very inspired by your story faith and testimony. my way of saying, thank you! I also go by the pseudonym O.E.W. (oneagleswings).

Yay! So happy about your new computer! When I saw the title, I was worried we might be losing you sooner rather than later. Although I am relatively healthy at the moment, I know what it’s like to wish for death, mostly to relieve suffering but also to be rid of this body of flesh that is still tempted to sin. I know we can experience God’s presence now, but oh! to be in His presence!

I appreciate your post, because it’s a good reminder to refocus and not live and die with regrets. Seems the most common regrets of working too much and not investing in relationships. I imagine a new one is very similar— I wish I hadn’t spent so much time on the computer or my phone.

Thank you, Rene. Hopefully I’ll stick around for a while 🙂 I think most of our regrets involve relationship issues, which is what that list showed also. I think all of our relationships could be better and living as if today is our last day motivates us to make them better.
Happy Resurrection day.

“…All of our regrets grow out of denial about our death.” This is post is making me reevaluate my perspective on my life. Thanks for allowing the a Holy Spirit to speak through you and use you, Daddy! Love you.

What an exciting time in which we live-so many things happening in the world of technology, the World and His World. Thanks, Bill, for continuing to bring your inspiration to so many. Shandra Blessed Easter to You and Yours.

Death is a concept until it is not. Faith is a concept until it is not. Life is reality until it is not. Nothing ends until it is not. Words matter. Some more than most. Your words are of more within this post.

Thank you again Bill. Im sure your new gadget took some time to master but again you have conquered. Have a blessed Easter. Thanks again for your blog deep and meaningful. Im also interested in the computer and software you are using.

Such a poignant reminder Bill. I am no longer at a point of being able to fathom how I’d reconcile death if I didn’t know Christ, but I rejoice that in him that is not the end! Have a blessed weekend, and I’m so happy your new computer is working out for you!

I am so happy to hear you have your new equipment and what a fabulous first post with it. As Patrick approached adulthood, death has been in my mind on a daily basis. It still is. I wrote a blog about life without regrets. (Yes, I do blog about topics other than television on occasion. 🙂 http://pbmom.net/2010/11/30/life-without-regrets/ (if that is okay to post–if not please feel free to edit that out). My nephrologist tells me that it will only be a matter of time before I will be on dialysis and subsequently on a kidney transplant list. I was working on my bucket list in his office when he came in because it was a few days before my 50th birthday. After telling me, I asked, “So you’re saying I should get to this list sooner rather than later?” After glancing down at it, he said I should get all the “go to” things off my list. I told him I had a weird body and I didn’t think I would be getting dialysis at all. I felt that whatever was going on would work itself out (it always seems to). I trust that God will take care of it. He thinks I’m just in denial. But I’m not. I can’t explain it, but I am 100% not worried about it now. I agree wholeheartedly that it has been very good for me to think of death every day. It keeps me focused on what I really need to get done so I can continue to live with few regrets.

Thank you, Hilda. I am looking forward to reading your post about regrets.
I’m sorry to hear about your health problems; I’m sorry. I will you in my prayers. Faith often looks like denial to those that don’t believe.
Happy Easter.

I would never discuss death. If someone brought it up around me I ended the conversation by any means possible. As a Christian I knew there is life after death but maybe I only knew it in words. When I was 29 and had just had the last of my four kids (my twins which were 8 months old), my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I was forced to face my two biggest fears at the time. Death itself and losing her to death. I had never lost anyone close to me at this point. The Lord was merciful to her as she only suffered 7 weeks after that. In those 7 weeks I had to come to terms and quick. Only through God’s grace was it possible. And by the end I actually found something very beautiful in watching her move on. There are no words to explain or at least I haven’t found them yet. As years have moved on and went from being a Christian in name to a lover of Jesus in relationship, I was able to finally understand just what He did for us all those years ago. New I see death as a new phase of life. One beyond our wildest imaginations. And I have to admit I’ve thought about it a lot more since getting sick. 😊. Thank you for writing this. You have an amazing way with words. I’m so glad your new system is up and running and hope you feel up to writing a whole lot more. Happy Easter to you and your family!

Wow, Laurie, powerful comments. I learn so much from the comments to my posts. My view (denial) of death was very similar to yours (before your mom got sick). I guess we’re normal 🙂 It’s so great to be over the fear and denial stage.
Happy Easter.

It is. But it’s still hard when we are still here and others that we care about have moved on. It’s a huge adjustment in our lives and a piece of us gone. I’m so thankful though, that through Christ, we will see them again. I can’t help but wonder how amazing it will be when the veil lifts for good. Your words inspire me. I think about what you must be going through every time I look at my situation. Some days it’s so hard to push through but I’m determined. I feel like I’m always learning new ways to do things because my body is always changing. I know you understand that. I pray that I will continue to be positive no matter how bad it gets. Not just for me but for my kids and husband too. Recently God showed me that our body isn’t who we are. We are a spirit person, made in His image and living inside an earthly body. I know with my new body I will be able to do handsprings and cartwheels. 😉

I know it sounds simplistic, but when going through a trial, it’s so important to just take one day at a time. Don’t worry about what your attitude will be when/IF things get worse… like manna, God only gives us enough grace for today.
You’re right – our body (thankfully) is not who we are. As CS Lewis said: “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.

You’re so right. Keeping myself in the day at hand is still one of my biggest trials. Lol. I have to reign myself in a couple of times a day and remember that TODAY is all I need to contend with. (Today’s manna). I love that CS Lewis quote! I will have to write that down so I don’t forget it!

HALLELUJAH! ! He has won the victory. Death couldn’t hold him down….He is the risen king…seated in majesty. Brother Bill you are a beloved of God because you are often dropped in my spirit to pray for and intercede. Happy Easter!!!

Praise the Lord! SOOOO happy our prayers were answered for your computer!!
And extra stellar post.
THIS really made me think!
I have a feeling that this computer is going to write your book. Because there’s definitely one IN it’s owner;-
Happy Easter my friend. This truly makes my day

Reblogged this on preacherkeith's Blog and commented:
I have often shared posts by Bill in the past. This is one of his very best. Continue to pray for Bill and his family as he navigates life with ALS. My admiration for this man is indescribable. God bless you Bill!

Wise and insightful, Bill. I appreciate that list of five regrets. In fact, I want to put that list with my Bible study materials so I will see it each day. Good for meditation and setting the heart toward obedience to God. One more regret wouldn’t make it to a secular list, but to mine as a Christian: I regret I didn’t tell others about Jesus more often and more intently. Thank you for the challenge, Bill!

Thank you, Nancy. For a Christian, I think the regret you mentioned would be #1. If we think about death daily and what our regrets would be, I think it motivates us to share the good news with others that day and that’s why I think it’s so important to dwell on this. Happy Easter.

Happy Easter! So excited for your new computer! Your posts are always so inspirational to me & so many others who I pass your Wisdom on to. Reading this particular post makes me feel Peaceful..I look forward & truly believe that I will join my loved one’s upon my death & for that I am grateful to God my Savior. Its been a long process for me to come to this belief & you have helped me on this path. Thank you my beautiful cousin! Xoxo Pamela y.

Your brother Ed and his wife, Vicki are dear neighbors. He told me about your blog. I am so glad he did….you are an inspiration. This is a beautiful piece and very timely for us. God bless you and your and family. Have a Happy Easter.

Reblogged this on Jennifer Slattery Lives Out Loud and commented:
Death happens, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end. Happy Good Friday! I found this post written by a man whose blog I follow, to be a powerful reminder of the believer’s ultimate destination, a place where, as my pastor says, the party never ends. (Please note, I’ve extended the give-away from a week ago Thursday to next week. So if you haven’t had a chance to enter, there’s still time!)

EXCELLENT! I agree totally – to live knowing your physical time here is limited removes so many barriers in the spirit, heart and mind and keeps you focused on the Lord. Thank you for that reminder, especially this weekend. Happy Easter and God bless you!!!!!!

This morning I was raking the front lawn. Neighbourhood kids were racing around on their bikes. They seemed to move in closer as I bent over to pick up the piled sticks and dried leaves and maple keys. “Do you know what today is?” Yes, it’s Good Friday. “Well what happened in the story?” Jesus went to hang on the Cross. “And what does that mean?”

We went on for about two minutes, and the basics of prophesied resurrection were revealed (Psalm 16). The girls took notice. Their eyes were fixed on mine. Even the sparkling East Indian child.

I summarized: “So Death is no longer the Big Boss. Life is now the Big Boss. And the thanks go to Jesus.” I waved and they responded as I drove away. Now wasn’t that an easy and ordained interlude?

My Friend, I am happy to hear that you are up again and posting life to the hungry. Truly unshakable. Yep.

New life in the Lord involves coming to terms with physical death, in part because we come to an understanding of eternal life. One of the greatest victories on this side of heaven is continuing on, working for the Lord and living for Him, regardless of the struggles, obstacles, spiritual warfare, and limits of our physical bodies. An indomitable spirit is an awesome thing, a great gift of the Lord. Blessings to you, brother.

Thank you for this very true and thought provoking post. Death is the doorway we must walk through to be in total union with God in Heaven…our REAL home. We must trust and learn to turn over any fear to Jesus for safe keeping:-)