Thursday, March 29, 2007

"Go with take two", Deletion and Me

Recently in the comments of one of my anti-character entries, I was asked why I didn't delete the entry since I've later posted about how I'd changed my mind about the character.

It's a good question really and my answer is simply that I don't believe in deleting my entries.

Actually, that's something of a lie. I don't delete entries but I have altered them in very specific situations. If for example, I've ignorantly used a term that offended someone, or if I've made a blatant factual inaccuracy I will usually fix it and put an (edited...) note at the end.

There was one essay that actually got severe after-the-fact alteration here on PFP. It was one of my first feminism essays and I'd inadvertantly misrepresented a particular person. This led to severely inaccurate mis-information being spread (I was very lucky that I had a very very small audience at the time, and thus the spread could be contained.) I removed any reference to this person and made an edit to the post explaining that it had been inaccurate and why.

I leave the "edited" notes so that any readers after the fact who come and see the comments that correct me/call me out can see that there was provocation. But I don't see the point of leaving up my unintentional slurs/misinformation after the fact. I want reading the blog to be fun for people.

Also, I've gone in and fixed my grammar/coherence months after the fact sometimes. Just like I've deleted and immediately reposted replies to fix my typoes/clarify my word posts. That's hypocritical, I know, but clarity is a common courtesy. :-)

Aside from this though, I don't believe in deleting anything I've written. Even the really really freaking stupid stuff, and I guarantee if you go back through my archives, you'll see a lot of that. And you will in the future. I've got old entries here that make me cringe with embarrassment that I'd really like to forget existed...

And that's not even getting into the idiotic things I've said in OTHER people's comments sections or message boards that I really wish I could wipe out...

The truth is though, as much I might be embarrassed after the fact about what I've said, the fact remains that I did say it. And if I wasn't willing to be called on the crap I've posted, I would friendslock them in livejournal or write them in a notebook at home. I'm not saying I'm always going to be willing to discuss it after the fact, but if you want to link to any blog post somewhere else and say "This is why Kalinara sucks...", well, I'm just going to have to suck it up and take it. I said it. I stand by it.

I also wouldn't want to delete any of my posts because of the really interesting discussion that I sometimes get in my comments. It'd suck to lose those, there's some really good stuff there. (Except when you disagree with me, of course. :-P)

What about posts that may link to mine? I know some of my anti-character posts ended up linked in weird places and prompted neat discussion there. (Mostly about why I was wrong, naturally. :-)) It'd be weird to read that stuff and not read what provoked it. (Also, I tend to get a bit annoyed myself when posts I link to and discuss disappear. Hmph. :-))

Mostly though I don't delete because, well, if I deleted every post that contained something I changed my mind on later...I wouldn't have much of a blog. I've got quite a few Green Lantern essays I'm still fond of that mention Kyle Rayner as my favorite Green Lantern...but my favorite is now Guy Gardner! Does that mean I have to change/delete all of those? Eeek! How many blog entries would I have left?!

Besides, I like it this way. It makes an entertaining, to me at least, chronology of me as a comic book fan. Here's where I liked Kyle. Here's where I read more Warrior/GL v2 and started to actually get Guy. Here's where I hated Hawkman. Here's where I STILL hate Hawkman. Here's where I hate Nightwing. Here's where I don't hate him so much. (For the record, I hate him again. I just have too much fun irrationally hating Dick Grayson). Here's where I don't like the multiverse, here's where I'm more open to it as long as the JSA-predecessor-legacy thing is in tact. Here's where I am vocally apathetic toward Cassandra Cain, here's where I realize she's the Guy Gardner of the Batclan.

I think it's funny. I'm not static, my tastes aren't static. This blog is my running commentary as to my comic reading existance and by extension this period of my life. I might, if I've reason to revisit an earlier post, add a line about how the topic is revisited later. (Especially if it's a post that gets a lot of comments after the fact.) Usually I don't bother.

PFP is full of general incoherency, contradiction, batshit reasoning, utter idiocy, embarrassing-after-the-fact crap, and that's how I like it.

You stand by your past work, and actually take credit for things that you have written, even though you may have changed your mind in the meantime?

You'll never make a Politician with an attitude like THAT, young lady!

This is your blog. You get to write about whatever you feel like, and an awful lot of us, enjoy reading about it. People grow and change. I blush to confess this, but I don't hate Batman as much as I used to.

There is nothing to be ashamed about, with liking Guy the best. I agree with you COMPLETELY! (as does Guy)

Yeah. With very few exceptions*, I never even edit typos in posts. My blog is a record of thought moreso than it is a judge of thought. And after nearly seven years of blogging, you can bet there are a million things I would change or say differently or not say at all. I am not now who I was seven years ago, but I should neither regret the path I took to get to where I am now - just as seven years from now, I shouldn't regret the inadequacies that will have got me to where I'll be then. It's my mistakes that serve to perfect my character. And it's good to have those mistakes on record - they serve as mile markers so that when I'm discouraged by my weaknesses, I can look back and see just how far I've come.

*note: those exceptions being posts that have somehow hurt a reader or caused undue real-life pain.

Kalinara if you exer become complee coherent I will dial 911, then the many police I personally know for a siren blaring escort to the ER because you'd have to be in very bad shape. On the plus side you'd get free ice cream and have many hot EMT & MD paying compleate attention to you;)

This makes perfect sense to me. Before you post, you have plenty of opportunities to revise and rethink your words. Once you do, you've made the decision to put them out there, and they're yours to take responsibility for. A post you write represents your best understanding of something at the time, and any good reader knows that might change.

This willingness to let your words stand and to choose to explain yourself rather than evade your mistakes is going to make for a good lawyer.

I agree with your stance. Keeping past posts you've said is meaningful wether you still agree with them or not. Even if you're opinion is different now, they are reminders of growth and change or at least nostalgic recollections. I have the same attitude toward physical objects too: I'm a nostalgic packrat, heh.

Oh, and I went back to read the comments Ragnell linked to. Wow, just wow. You handled that a lot better than I would be tempted to.