Fae Rowen, one of my fellow Writers In The Storm gals, was crazy excited about the Water Dragon because that’s her year and it’s “majestic.”

Must be nice.

I’m the Year of the Earth Monkey and Lord knows there’s nothing majestic about that.

This is the year of the, um…snake.

HOW am I supposed to keep a straight face over this?? “The Year of the Snake” just begsfor some jokes. Ex: “Is that a Snake in your birth year, or are you just happy to see me?”

I’ve got a picture in my head of all of us running around in these (see below), hissing at each other and dancing through the kitchen.

Really, y’all need to save me from my over-active imagination. I snorted my way through this entire post because there’s TONS of jokes here that I left on the table, so to speak. Y’all can feel free to crack the “snake humor” in the comments section.

1. Snakes are ideally compatible with the Ox and the Rooster.
2. More or less compatible with: Rat, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep.
3. The Snake is incompatible with the Pig and the Tiger. (You don’t say?)
4. Lucky colors for the Snake: Yellow, Red
5. Lucky directions for the Snake: Southwest, Northeast
6. Lucky numbers for the Snake: 2, 4, 7, and 9.
7. Monday is the lucky day of the week for Snakes.

I don’t see my Earth Monkey mentioned anywhere up there. Hmmmm. And who has MONDAY as the lucky day of the week? I’m just sayin…

If you’re scratching your head over this “Year of the Snake” thing (did you see I gallantly left that joke untouched?), here’s the basics:

2013 is the year of the black Snake, and begins on February 10th (this Sunday).

This 2013 year of Snake is meant for steady progress and attention to detail. Focus and discipline will be necessary for you to achieve what you set out to create.

The Snake is the sixth sign of the Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 Animal Signs. It is the enigmatic, intuitive, introspective, refined and collected of the Animals Signs. Ancient Chinese wisdom says a Snake in the house is a good omen because it means that your family will not starve.

The Cosmic Element and Color of 2013 year of Snake

The 2013 year of Snake is Water Snake. Water Snakes are lucky with finances, they always seem to have money flowing their way. They are adventurous spirits and love to take risks. They are also very intelligent and often a wellspring of creative ideas.

The color of the 2013 year of Snake is Black. The Black Snake will bring people unexpected changes, instability, and changeability. That is why it is important in the year of Snake to plan everything beforehand, and evaluate adequately before taking any actions.

Years of the Snake

Snake Years are sixth in the cycle, following the Dragon Years, and recur every twelfth year. The Chinese New Year does not fall on a specific date, so it is essential to check the calendar to find the exact date on which each Snake Year actually begins.

1905*1917*1929*1941*1953*1965*1977*1989*2001

THE SIGN OF THE SNAKE

The Snake is the intuitive, introspective, refined and collected of the Animal Signs. They are attractive people who take cries with ease and do not become flustered easily. They are graceful people, exciting and dark at the same time.

Contemplative and private, the Snake is not outwardly emotional. He can appear cunning and reticent and works very modestly in the business environment. The Snake will plot and scheme to make certain things turn out exactly as they want them to. They are not great communicators and can become quite possessive when they set their minds on achieving the interest of a partner.

Snake Facts (*bazinga*):

People born in the Year of the Snake share certain characteristics. Following are features associated with the Sign of the Snake.

Sixth in order, Chinese name—SHE, sign of the sagacity
Hour—9am-10:59am
Month—May
Western Counterpart—Taurus

CHARACTERISTICS: Acute, Aware, Cunning, Proud, Vain, Vicious

The Overall Trend in 2013 Year of Snake

2013’s horoscope predicts it is a good year to begin important detail work. Research and investigation are supported. The Snake has sneaky energy that can be to your advantage *if you know what I mean*.

A new-found ambition to greatness will inspire you to be all you can be, and provide you with the follow through to actually achieve your goals, And, 2013 year of the Snake also supports added responsibility.

Create a safe space to work from this 2013 year.

The Snake likes protection (dying!), needs to feel safe and secure to utilize its special analytical skills. This is the year to make headway in slow and methodical ways. Things will definitely be accomplished as you focus forward.

If you want to read more about the Year of the Snake, click here. For more on Chinese New Year celebrations and customs in general, click here.

OK, whew. I’m done having decorum over all this snake business. A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste, but I promised a pal I’d report accurately.

(Baby Girl has croup, so maybe I’m just short on sleep?)

Do you know what animal you are in the Chinese zodiac? Do you have any snake jokes you’d like to slip into the comments (IYKWIM)? Do you join in the Chinese New Year celebration? Enquiring minds love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

55 Responses to 2013 — The Year of the Water Snake (If You Know What I Mean)

Good thing they don’t mean a real snake, because I’d be disagreeing with that in a hurry. A real snake in the house would mean the house would be up for sale IMMEDIATELY…and I’d be living in a hotel until it sold. A snake-free hotel.

Very interesting information, Jenny. And I love the underwear model. I do not love the underwear though, so he’d have to take them off.🙂

Glad you enjoyed the ramblings of my sleep deprived mind. Yes, I do actually visit dreamland on occasion. Usually nowhere near as long as I’d like. Perhaps if I could have one of those underwear models… Okay, I’m not going there. I am, however, strongly considering a nap. Now about those models…😉

Man, Jenny, if I didn’t have to get dressed for work–I’d be all over these jokes. I had to find a Chinese zodiac to figure out my animal–and had to scroll waaaay too far for comfort to find my birth year! I’m a sheep–hmm. I’ll have to sneak a look at what sheep are like (I hope they are more interesting in China!) later.

Oh, and I hate snakes; we had a 40″ corn snake crawl out from the window sill in Florida–yikes!!

I love astrology, especially Eastern. I have all sorts of books on it, even a gorgeously illustrated book on Celtic Astrology. I am a metal dog. I couldn’t remember what the element ‘metal’ represented so I checked it out on wiki and yep … that about sums me up!😉

OK, for my pals like you, I added a link to go find your animal. IYKWIM.🙂

Oh, and according to Fae, there are no insects…only animals. We had an entire conversation about this with the WITS gals last night. Orly’s response to being a Fire Sheep? “Ahhh poo … I’m a flaming sheep.”

I tried to pay attention, really I did. But I was caught on those knit… snake hot pants… or whatever they are *BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA* I’m a firehorse myself, and you’ve reminded me NEXT YEAR is a wooden horse year… I have a giant rocking horse in my head. I love Chinese Astrology. I think it nicely explains some cohort commonalities, though that’s compounded by the shared place in history we have with people our same exact age.

Time upon a once in a far away land called Tex Ass, a cougar Tiger in her den roamed. It was The Year of the Snake. While she found them to be filling, tasty and satisfying treats, tradition cautioned the Snake not to toy with the cougar Tiger. Snakes, with their reputation for basking in the sun, then tunneling into dark caves intrigued her. Her confession, follows:

I lay curled in my lair, knitting one, purring two on a pair of special Mundies. A knock echoed through the cave. I answered the call with my wild side.

There, at the entry to my cave, stood a one-eyed snake-oil salesman. He smelled of musk oil. He unzipped the bag where his secret oils were stored, and revealed his wares. With one wink of his single eye, he sent my she-parts purring. He promised to cure what ailed me. “Satisfaction guaranteed,” he said.

I’d heard it before, yet he appeared hard and up. I so wanted to give him a helping hand. I tried to quell my big-pussy-cat cougar Tiger purr, but failed.

That’s when he knew. That’s when he tried to back out of our transaction. That’s when I took revenge.

The rumors are true. Snakes do taste remarkably similar to chicken. Especially when slathered with Cat-sup Sauce.

Hi Jenny,
Just a funny year of the snake story.
At the post office the other day, I asked for the new Chinese Year of the Snake stamp. When I looked at it, there is NO snake on it, just firecrackers. I asked the post mistress, “What the hey? Where’s the snake?” She said, “Oh, I don’t know what they were thinking, but it’s here up in the corner.” Couldn’t even see the tiny gold thing! Last year the stamp showed a gorgeous dragon.
Ok, so what do you think they WERE thinking? Or were they? Was the USPO afraid a snake on a stamp would be scary? too, um, sexy? represent the fall of Adam and Eve?
Love this post and am posting a link to it on FB. BTW, I’m a rabbit. Give me greens.
Val

LOL. As a kid the place mat at Chinese restaurants was a great source of entertainment. I’m a rooster, but some of those mats would also add, “aka the cock.” Which of course would send me and my brother and sisters into massive giggle attacks.🙂

Okay Jenny, I se a lot of woman have read the post and collectively LTAO. Male perspective, the photos of snake, elephant underwear for men is beginning to get to me. God gave me brains and semi-good looks. Downstairs I’m not a porn star. An average guy please so I won’t feel left out. Or, if what you show is average, I’m in deeeep doodoo.

I was at a restaurant with Chinese friends, and the conversation shifted to New Year’s. I asked the woman sitting next to me what her animal sign was, and she said, “Snake.” I told her I was a Tiger and she gasped. Really gasped. Neither she nor anyone else would tell me what the problem was. Once home, I Googled the signs and learned the tiger and snake are enemies. I’d laugh, but that gasp still echoes.

“This is the year to make headway in slow and methodical ways.” Oh yes, send some my way please IYKWIM. But not in those under shorts you’ve so graciously allowed us to see. Loving the year of the snake!

Wow, you did a lot of research into this post! I was born in one of those years, so I guess I should be excited that this is a snake year for me. Still, every year I have a “trouser snake” year going on!

Thanks for the cool information about the Snake Year and the Chinese Zodiac. Loved the touches of your special humor. The snake pants picture rocks. I’m a Water Dog. The sign fits since I’m flexible, easygoing and spendthrift with money😛