Pharmacist: Hi, sir, can I help you?Old man: I need to refill my pills.Pharmacist: Which pills, sir?Old man: You know, my pills.Pharmacist: Sir, you are on eight different medications. Can you maybe describe the color or shape of the one you want? Or maybe what it does?Old man: I just want my pills, dammit!Pharmacist: Sir, I can’t refill them if you don’t tell me what they are.Old man: My pills! The blue ones! You know, the man-agra!

Professor: Martin Luther King, Jr had women in his hotel room. He was running around on Coretta. Student: Maybe, they were studying the bible.(class laughs)Professor: Well, she may have been calling out Jesus's name. But they sure as hell weren't reading the bible. Slow girl, five minutes later: Oh, I get it. Ew!

Chick #1: So, just out of curiosity, this new girl he’s seeing — is she she cute?Chick #2: She’s okay, but I think she sort of looks like a Muppet.Chick #1: Really? Well, that can go either way… She can be an ugly Muppet or a cute Muppet.

Girl: Hey, you guys were great. If you’re not doing anything after, call my number, I wrote it next to the monument [on this dollar].Jurassic 5 singer: Wow..uh, great. Take care, now.Girl: Yeah, see you later.Jurassic 5 singer: …Dude, she just gave me her phone number. You take it.Guy: Yeah? Wow, thanks!Jurassic 5 singer: Yeah, but buddy, you make sure you tap that shit, now, y’hear? A’right.