Double patty breakfast sandwich proves that mankind has officially done it all

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We can all stop innovating now. It’s here. The double patty breakfast sandwich. If you’re an inventor, you can lock up your workshop and go home. There’s officially nothing left to improve upon as a society. Unless someone comes out with a triple patty version, that is.

Hardee’s new “Double Sausage, Egg ‘N’ Cheese Biscuit” promises to increase the productivity of your morning food intake by allowing you to eat just one sandwich instead of two.

Let’s hear more from a company executive:

“Our Sausage and Egg Biscuit has been a staple item on the breakfast menu for years,” said Brad Haley, executive vice president of marketing for Hardee’s Food Systems, Inc. “The only way to improve a classic was to make it twice as meaty, and therefore, twice as delicious. It won’t take two of these to fill you up in the morning.”

See that? “The only way to improve a classic was to make it twice as meaty, and therefore, twice as delicious.” He’s right, you know. The same rule can be applied to just about everything else. Desktop monitor? Not as good as two desktop monitors. Car? You should have two cars. Bypass surgery? I’ll take double bypass surgery, please.

The Double Sausage, Egg ‘N’ Cheese Biscuit is available for $2.39 or in a combo meal with “crispy Has Rounds and a beverage” for $4.09. It has nothing to do with gadgets. Good day.