I have a request. Do remember a number of sisters who
are going through difficulties in their lives in your du’a. They are trying so
very hard to keep their hearts and thoughts inclined to Allah azza wa jal and
we can only remember them in our du’a. The beautiful thing is that as you make
du’a for them, the noble Angels of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’alaa also make du’a
for you. Smile to Jannah!

So, today, I am not sharing my article but that of a
friend and I have been waiting for this write-up for a number of weeks now. Interestingly,
I am also working on this a number of weeks after receiving it. Smiles!

She is telling the story of an encounter with her
youngest brother, some annoyingly acting-shy boy. I pray and hope he reads
this. Smiles!

She
writes;

‘I would kill myself if I were a
girl.’

‘These are disturbing words from a fourteen (14) year
old boy. I remember the night I heard these words from my youngest brother, I
took a step back and I knew that there was no way I could gloss over these
words. I could not take this statement as one of those things a rebellious or
troublesome teenager would say. This was definitely something that was a big
deal to me.’

It is interesting how a little boy like that could even
coin such words in his head and bring them out. He probably blurted out this after
a series of thoughts about something about girls that he thinks is absolutely
absurd; something he could never succeed in living with. Is it something he has
been seeing his mum, sister and the women in his house or school go through?
Well, she continues;

’So let me take you back to the genesis or what
triggered these words from him. It was a normal evening and two of my brothers
and I were in the living room. We were doing our individual things. My brothers
were having their own conversation and I wasn’t paying so much attention to it.
It was then that my youngest brother dropped these words;

‘’I would kill myself if I were a girl’’

This definitely caught my full attention. My first
instinct was to rebuke him for what he said but my curiosity got the better
hold of me. I asked him why he said those words. He replied by;

‘Lamenting all the house chores women
do. He talked about women being pregnant and having to carry children for a
long time. He then talked about all the sufferings women go through which he
sees around him and all the restrictions they believe a woman has to endure.’

‘Interestingly, he got more points from my other
brother to argue his case out.

I knew that if I argued with them, the whole thing will
turn into a gender debate. After listening to them, a part of me couldn’t help
but agree with some of the points they raised. It was like their concerns were
in line with some of the struggles of women that I think about almost on a
daily basis. I don’t really blame my brothers for having these kinds of
thoughts especially since what they pointed out were things they see around
them.

Another part of me also knew that I had to do something
about the kind of twisted mindset they had about women. I felt the
responsibility to let them know what being a woman was really all about.

Being their elder sister and having lived with them
since they were born, I knew them better and I also knew what their problem
about all these women thing was. The problem they both had was that they have
had women clean up their mess for them for a very long time so much so that now
that they have to clean up for themselves, they are having challenges.

Since childhood, these younger brothers of mine, have
had our mom, my cousin and myself clean up just about every mess around for
them; from the bowls they eat in, their dirty clothing and disorganised rooms.

For some time now, I have had a campaign at home where I
have advocated that they do things for themselves. I have advocated that they
start taking responsibility at home and also start keeping the house in shape
especially in the cases where they create those mess.

Well, enough about my family. I am quite sure you are
wondering why I am talking about all these family drama. I believe what my
younger brother voiced out is the thought or similar thinking of so many other
young men.

The question we should be asking ourselves especially
as females is that;

Are these young men to be blamed for
that kind of thinking considering the fact that we share part of the blame due
to the role we play in how these young men are brought up?

The society we live in has a different blueprint of how
a girl and a boy are brought up in terms of the responsibility they have or are
supposed have at home.

As Muslims, we have in the Prophet Muhammad,
suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, the best of examples as Allah azza wa jal
informs us in the Qur’an, Surah al-Ahzab, the Confederates, Chapter 33 ayah 21
saying;

‘Indeed
in the messenger of Allah you have an excellent example’

What was his contribution in terms of partaking in household
responsibilities? We learn from a number of ahaadith that the Prophet Muhammad,
suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, helped a lot with household chores.

The Prophet Muhammad, suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam,
occupied himself at his home like a common man. As it is related by his wife
‘Aisha, radiyallaahu anhaa, he used to clean his clothes, milk the sheep and
himself do his odd jobs. She also says that he would mend his clothes, repair
his shoes and do similar other tasks.

When asked how the Prophet occupied himself at home, she replied,

“He used to keep himself busy in household chores and
went out when the time for prayer came.”

As Muslimahs, we should realise the kind of power we
have in deciding how the next generation of boys would be brought up. We can
decide to make them into highly responsible sons, brothers and fathers. We
should start training them from childhood and instil into them a sense of
responsibility so that they would not depend on women solely to clean up their
mess.

I was also very sad to realise that my brothers thought
Islam restricted women in different ways. Really, as a Muslimah, I sometimes
feel suffocated with all the haraam things associated with what a Muslimah is
permitted to do or not. It got to a point when I could not help but feel more
suffocated and I wondered whether it was wrong being a woman in Islam due to
the numerous Islamic messages on whatsapp and facebook especially.

I asked myself various questions. Among them were;

1.What does Islam has to offer women?

2.Does Islam only offer so much restrictions
and limitations to a woman and nothing else?

And this was due to the picture that was being painted
on our social media by some of our own Muslim brothers about Islam and the
woman. After reflecting and reading however, I came to this realisation;

1.Islam indeed has a lot to offer a woman.

2.It offers her total submission to her
Creator, Allah azza wa jal.

3.It teaches her not to enslave herself to
man and her ill desires.

4.Islam offers such serenity of a focused
life and mind.

5.Islam offers a woman the best role model in
the person of the Prophet Muhammad, suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.

6.Islam teaches her to strive to learn from
his character and excellent manners.

And after reading an article entitled; ‘Thank God I am woman’ by Umm Zakiyyah (this
is a must read article) in Sisters Magazine, I got a lot more relieved. She
gave such a different perspective to how women should view issues that are presented
by some of the Muslim scholars to them.

She first highlighted on how women issues are presented
to them by their male counterparts especially with issues regarding what is
halal or haram for the woman. Even in cases where it is halal for a woman to do
something, some scholars always put a BUT
there for whatever reason.

She then talked about how as Muslimahs, we shouldn’t let
our spirits be dampened when we hear all these rulings and perceived
restrictions, rather we should view them as blessings which serve as a reminder for where
our ultimate focus should be which is the worship of Allah azza wa jal.

Anytime we, as Muslimahs, hear or read a fatwa on issues
concerning women, we should see that as another reminder of the blessings Allah
azza wa jal has given us so that by obeying His laws, we gain His pleasure and
love. We should never for once think
that we are less of human beings.

This should serve as our motivation and the driving
force in our daily lives.’

She ends…

She raised two critical issues;

1.Women bring up their male children wrong so
much so that they begin to think that a girl does the entire chores in the
house.

2.Women are constantly reminded of how
insignificant they are with some fataawa by some particular ‘not-favourites-of-women’
scholars.

Now, it is up to you to think through it and ask
yourself;

1.Do you agree with her? Why or why not?

2.What could you do in your small way to help
solve these two issues if you agree?

You must note however that she has the right to her
opinion just like everyone else. Our individual struggles are most at times
very different due to our socialization so one person’s struggle might seem as
a joke to the other yet every struggle is a struggle.

To the women who feel down with all the rulings that
seem to be sending them straight to Hell for the least wrong, well, the hope is
as it was stated…our main focus should be worship of Allah azza wa jal solely
and so we should not distract ourselves with feeling left out or not because
the real truth is…Allah azza wa jal is Al-Adl, the Just, and we believe in that
Justice…we are not left out at all…keep smiling and get seriously worshipping
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa.

“Surely
the men who submit and the women who submit, and the believing men and the
believing women, and the obedient men and the obedient women, and the truthful
men and the truthful women, and the patient men and the patient women, and the
humble men and the humble women… Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a
great reward”

Now, this is sufficient for us. Alhamdulillaah for
Islam. Alhamdulillaah for making us a part of His creations. Alhamdulillaah for
making us women. Alhamdulillaah for absolutely everything; those we deem as
good and those we deem as bad. The most important thing is that we should make
sure we are trying our utmost best to serve the purpose of our creation which
is ‘to worship Him, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa.’ Remember always that I love you
for the sake of Allah azza wa jal and I pray that Allah azza wa jal will grant
us His Light and Shade on the D-Day. Aameen. Nastagfirullaahu wa natuubu
ilayhi. Aameen.

Thursday, 4 December 2014

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu
brothers and sisters in Islam. Indeed, we praise and give thanks to the
Almighty, the All-Wise, who created us and blessed us with Islam. We pray that
He, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa continue to keep us on this beauty, Islam and
continue to shower us with His gift, guidance. Aameen. May Allah’s mercy and
blessings be showered upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad, his household and his
companions. Aameen.

In Surat al-Furqan, the Criterion, Chapter 25 ayah 74,
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa tells us about one of the characteristics of those
who will attain His ‘ridwaan’ ‘pleasure’ saying;

‘And those who say,
"Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort
(coolness) to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous."

Indeed, for every religious young man or woman, what will
be cooler to the eyes than to have a religious spouse who strives not to go
against the rule of Allah azza wa jal and His rasuul in his or her daily life?
What will be cooler for a religious father or mother than to have a child of
likewise manner? The answer is clear. May Allah azza wa jal bless us with this
coolness. Aameen.

So those of us Muslim men and women who aren’t married
yet should make this a constant du’a because indeed, it is most important.
Those who are married already should make this du’a constantly because ‘Allah
is a turner of hearts’ and if their spouses or children are not as they desire
them to be in terms of their religious inclination, Allah, al-Qadir, is able to
turn them over to His side. We must also know that the possibility of us turning
bad even if we are good is also there. May Allah azza wa jal forbid though.
Aameen.

‘O you who have
believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people
and stones, over which are appointed Angels, harsh and severe; they do not
disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.’

Now, this ayah should always set our minds thinking
just like all the others. Allah azza wa jal is giving us a pre-warning of how
it is going to be like with the Hellfire and He tells us to save ‘ourselves’
and then ‘our families’ from this danger. The question then is;

‘How do we save
ourselves and our families from this fire with this kind of fuel?’

Admonishing ourselves towards that which is right and
forbidding one another from evil; and that has never been easy. Even with
ourselves, we realize we are in a constant state of struggle with our stubborn ‘nafs’
‘self-desire’ against the pleasure of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa. So whiles
we deal with ourselves, we try to pull others along this beautiful and wise
path with the hope of satisfying the requirement of this ayah and others like
it and that definitely has not been an easy thing for an uncountable number of people.

I know a man who wanted to marry just the best of women
(well, according to his standards of measuring best, that is) and he said that;
that was because he wanted to be among the men who will have a family of high
standing on the Day we should all be working towards – Al-Yawmut-Tagaabun, the
Day of Mutual Loss and Gain.

So, what I want to concentrate on is; the woman and her
womb. Even though the choice of husband or wife a woman or man makes goes a
long way to determine the result of the fruit of the womb, I would like to put
that aside. As I always say and it is really so, I am more inclined to the
sisters than to the brothers.

I would however want to chip in here that a man also
has great interests when it comes to the fruits of the womb. A religious man
especially cares a lot about the kind of children that his wife gives birth to
and what they grow into. Such men make it their business to ensure that at
least they have done their best in contributing to the goodness of their
children even before they choose their wives, even before their wives conceive,
during their wives’ pregnancy, during the birth of their children, as their
children grow and even in the adult life of these children. They contribute
along the way until they finally reach their end or their children reach their
end. May Allah azza wa jal make all of our Muslim men like that. Aameen.

When I fell in Love
with Maryam

I am sitting in the Masjid with my personal ‘Muallimah’
‘Muslim Female Teacher’ who is teaching me tajweed of the Qur’an. Then she
tells me that I should make the recitation of Surat Maryam, Chapter 19 of the
Qur’an, a habit. I can’t recall the exact reason she gave me for that. I had
just completed Senior High School then. From then, I became very attached to
this Surah especially the part that spoke about the mother of Prophet Issah,
Maryam, alayhimas salaam.

The Maryam character amazed me. Even then, I tried to
put myself in her shoes and I realized how tough the situation of her pregnancy
without a male factor could have been. Yet, Allah azza wa jal took care of the
situation with perfection for indeed, perfection belongs to Him only.

Somewhere in Surat al-‘Imraan, we are told how the
mother of Maryam, alayhas salaam had dedicated her to the service of Allah
subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa whiles she was still in the womb. He, azza wa jal, says;

‘When the wife of
'Imraan said, "My Lord, indeed I have pledged to You what is in my womb,
consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the
Hearing, the Knowing.’

(Surat Al-‘Imraan, the Family of ‘Imraan, Chapter 3
ayah 35)

The Conversation
with One of My Mentors

I am chatting with one of my mentors as usual on phone
and she tells me that whiles unmarried, I should pray for the purity of the
womb; that Allah azza wa jal cleanses my womb and places into it the best of His
creations.

The truth is, I had always believed in praying for just
about everything; things that have passed, present and future happenings. Praying
for the right husband or wife at the right time and the ‘right’ children is
part of these future happenings for every unmarried person.

What my mentor did to my mind however was that she
re-awakened and rekindled the passion in me to pay a lot more attention to the ‘fruits
of the womb.’ Whenever I see how some parents, especially the parents of the 21st
Century children, struggle with their children, I get extremely worried. I keep
imagining how much discomfort or do I say ‘hotness’ I would feel if ever I am
tried with such a child or children.

Facts about Life

1.You must know as a
Muslim that Allah azza wa jal chooses to grant children to whomever He wills. Do
not put yourself in the situation of one who thinks he or she must have a child
by all means. Some give birth to a lot of children, some do not givebirth at all, some give birth to one, some
give birth early and some late, and the examples abound. So, even as you pray
for the ‘fruits of the womb’ and its ‘nature,’ you should also bear in mind
these realities.

2.You could work hard
by being careful to choose a righteous spouse, pray hard for a religious child
and then Allah azza wa jal in His infinite knowledge and wisdom decides to test
you with exactly the opposite; ‘a notoriously rebellious’ child who only want to
do that which you are totally against. That is definitely ‘hot’ to the eyes and
heart but then we must know that after trying our best, this ‘heat’ then
becomes our tests (most tests aren’t pleasant, we should know).

The Efforts We Make
for a Righteous ‘Fruit’

So, we only make efforts whiles we fully ‘hope’ that
Allah azza wa jal is going to crown our efforts with that which we desire of
Him and ‘fearing’ also that He, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa, could test us with the
opposite of that which we desire. So in this matter of ours, we dangle between ‘fear’
and ‘hope’ of whatever Allah azza wa jal could decide to do with us with the
full belief that whatever He does is good.

1.Being Righteous Yourself

The first thing you should do in your efforts to get a
righteous fruit of the womb is to work at being righteous yourself. You strive
to do that which Allah azza wa jal loves and stay clear off that which He
despises as much as possible. Allah, jalla jalaaluhu, says;

‘Women impure are
for men impure and men impure are for women impure; and women of purity are for
men of purity and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected
by what people say: for them there is forgiveness and a provision honourable.’

And this is only fair even though sometimes good women
are tested with bad husbands such as the case of Asiya bint Muzahim, alayhas
salaam and Fir’aun and good men are tested with bad wives such as the case of
Prophet Nuhu and Prophet Lut, alayhimas salaam, and their wives.

2.Making Du’a

We all know the power of du’a. If you don’t, then you
need to read about it and incline yourself to du’a. As it is said; ‘Du’a is the
weapon of the believer.’ Whatever you need, want, fear, etc, tell it to Allah
azza wa jal and He will definitely take care of it for you. He will take the
difficulty out of your burden. To that I am a witness many times. Smile to
Jannah!

3.Choosing a Righteous
Spouse

And we hope and pray that as we strive for
righteousness, Allah azza wa jal will connect us with likewise people as the
ayah stated above says;

‘Pure women are for
pure men’

A righteous spouse complements ones effort in
everything as married couples whether with or without children. There is
therefore a problem when one of the couple has no interest in the pleasure of
Allah. He or she then does not care what the child grows into.

4.Making Du’a during Pregnancy

And du’a runs through our whole life, married or not.
Yet, we cannot afford to not make the du’a for the fruit of the womb specific.
So, my mother will always make du’a for me, the man I marry and our children
and that was exactly what my mentor taught me with passion to do as well. Every
good mother does the same. We see in the story of the birth of Maryam alayhas
salaam an example of a mother who was eager for a righteous child and a
righteous generation as well.

When she conceived Maryam alayhas salaam, as we read in
ayah 35 of surat Al-‘Imraan, she dedicated her to the service of Allah azza wa
jal even before she entered this Dunya. This is something that mothers,
fathers, and yet to be mothers and fathers must learn to do. It is part of
doing one’s part to ensure that the child grows up righteously, ceteris paribus
(all things being equal).

5.And Forever

The moment the child drops from the womb, the real work
begins. The mother of Maryam alayhas salaam, seeing that her child was not male
as she expected, she still made an extremely powerful du’a that we must all
learn to do for our children, all children. Allah azza wa jal tells us in ayah
36 of Surat Al-‘Imraan that;

‘But when she
delivered her, she said, "My Lord, I have delivered a female." And
Allah was most knowing of what she delivered, "And the male is not like
the female. And I have named her Mary, and I seek refuge for her in You and
[for] her descendants from Satan, the expelled [from the mercy of Allah].’

Now, this du’a is definitely powerful. How lucky any
child will be to have a mother such as Hannat, the mother of Maryam! May Allah
azza wa jal make all of our mothers and yet to be mothers like this amazing
woman. Aameen. Allah azza wa jal Who is the Hearer of every caller and the
Answerer of all of our du’a tells us about His acceptance of her du’a in the
next ayah, 37, saying;

‘So her Lord
accepted her with good acceptance and caused her to grow in a good manner and
put her in the care of Zechariah. Every time Zechariah entered upon her in the
prayer chamber, he found with her provision. He said, "O Mary, from where
is this [coming] to you?" She said, "It is from Allah. Indeed, Allah
provides for whom He wills without account.’

And we all know the story of the purity, chastity and
spirituality of Maryam alayhas salaam and Allah azza wa jal did bless her
generation with a Prophet, Issah, alayhis salaam. Subhaanallaahi Robbil ‘Arshil
‘Azeem! Glorified is Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne! Alhamdulillaah for
the blessing of Islam!

So du’a and the struggle to lead children unto the path
of righteousness continues even after their birth until either we the parents
leave this Dunya or the children leave.

The Reality I was
Reminded

A man who is a da’ee (a caller unto the path of Allah)
says and I quote in my words;

‘It is when you
finally have a child that you begin to see the weight of responsibility as you
fear for the manner in which your child will grow because the child could go
either way no matter how hard you try.’

He gave a story of a man who was very learned and who
taught them tafseer (commentary) of the Qur’an when they were young. The man
had a notorious son who did just about everything that the man spoke against.
He said that the man always looked so disturbed because of his son and whenever
he remembers the man, he fears for himself and his children.

That is something we must keep pondering on and praying
against because definitely, it would not be a pleasant test and though some
people will not mind the outcome of the religiosity of their children, those
who want to save themselves and their ‘children’ from the fire whose fuel is
men and stones do care. May Allah azza wa jal change the situation of all those
who are in such a case. Aameen. And with certainty, He is able to do that and
more.

Another Reality
that Hurts

So, we are discussing about the awesomeness of the
sahaaba (the companions of rasuul), how they dedicated their every second to
the work of Allah azza wa jal seeking His pleasure solely.

That was when the issue of parenting came in and one
brother said he heard a scholar say, and I quote in my words;

‘What every woman of recent times must know is that she
could give birth to a ‘waliy’ ‘friend’ of Allah or other great people both on
the religious and secular front and she could also give birth to the worse of
people but she could never give birth to a Prophet or men or women like the
sahaaba.’

And indeed, this is a reality every woman, no matter
how high she is aiming in the righteousness of her family should know, belief
and understand. May Allah jalla jalaaluhu bless our wombs with the best of His
creations and transform those of our children who have gone wayward back to the
straight path. May Allah azza wa jal count us among the few of the latter years
who will be among the Forerunners as He describes in Surat Al-Waqi’ah. Aameen.

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Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatul Laahi wa barkaatuh. May the peace, mercy and blessings of God be upon you. Jazaakumul Laahu khair wa baarakal Laahu feekum. May God reward you with goodness and may He bless you.