Column: College freshman must learn when to ‘go there’ and when to not

Ray Hardee

By Ray Hardee

Published: Friday, August 23, 2013 at 09:20 AM.

As students matriculate to college and graduate to the next level of higher education, “it’s your move,” and now you are deciding on your own. Today or next week, you will move out and up.

If I could bring together the third-grade chess club composed of Abigail (my rising freshman at USC), James, Ross, Melody, Taylor, Taylor and Taylor (Yes, I had three “Taylors”) and others I led back for a final lesson as they head off to college or the career of their choice, I would begin by saying, “It’s your move.”

Remember, the motto “As a chess club member, I will think well, act smart and move quickly. And then, I may win!” Remember the times you would begin a move, and I would smile and say “Go there,” while often as many times saying, “Don’t go there.” Let me make some “moving” recommendations.

First, you are a miracle, a creation of God, divinely shaped to be who you are. Be you and move accordingly as He guides you. Go There! Never let the world or a professor or a boss squeeze you into their mold. Also, remember to let others be who they were shaped to be by the God who gave them life. Just because you are the life of the party does not mean everybody else should be. Besides, it could take away from your own personal expression. Or, just because you have a great idea doesn’t mean everyone else’s is stupid. Don’t Go There!It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around.

Second, remember your Creator. There is a God. You are not Him. Neither are those who would cause you to doubt. As Scripture says, “The fool has said in his heart ‘There is no God.’” Even when a smart person says, “There is no God,” Don’t Go There! Look around you and see the creative evidence of His hand. Begin by looking in the mirror.

Third, show up. Ninety percent of success happens when you show up on time. Go to class. Get to work. Engage yourself in what is going on even if you have to pinch yourself when lectures get boring. Go There! Most people skip and skim. Don’t Go There!

Fourth, obey those in authority over you. Go There! You may not agree with them, and often, you should not agree. Nevertheless, they are in charge. Follow their structure. One day, you will be in charge, and you will want people to follow you and your rules. Don’t take charge. You’re not ready. Don’tGo There!

As students matriculate to college and graduate to the next level of higher education, “it’s your move,” and now you are deciding on your own. Today or next week, you will move out and up.

If I could bring together the third-grade chess club composed of Abigail (my rising freshman at USC), James, Ross, Melody, Taylor, Taylor and Taylor (Yes, I had three “Taylors”) and others I led back for a final lesson as they head off to college or the career of their choice, I would begin by saying, “It’s your move.”

Remember, the motto “As a chess club member, I will think well, act smart and move quickly. And then, I may win!” Remember the times you would begin a move, and I would smile and say “Go there,” while often as many times saying, “Don’t go there.” Let me make some “moving” recommendations.

First, you are a miracle, a creation of God, divinely shaped to be who you are. Be you and move accordingly as He guides you. Go There! Never let the world or a professor or a boss squeeze you into their mold. Also, remember to let others be who they were shaped to be by the God who gave them life. Just because you are the life of the party does not mean everybody else should be. Besides, it could take away from your own personal expression. Or, just because you have a great idea doesn’t mean everyone else’s is stupid. Don’t Go There!It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around.

Second, remember your Creator. There is a God. You are not Him. Neither are those who would cause you to doubt. As Scripture says, “The fool has said in his heart ‘There is no God.’” Even when a smart person says, “There is no God,” Don’t Go There! Look around you and see the creative evidence of His hand. Begin by looking in the mirror.

Third, show up. Ninety percent of success happens when you show up on time. Go to class. Get to work. Engage yourself in what is going on even if you have to pinch yourself when lectures get boring. Go There! Most people skip and skim. Don’t Go There!

Fourth, obey those in authority over you. Go There! You may not agree with them, and often, you should not agree. Nevertheless, they are in charge. Follow their structure. One day, you will be in charge, and you will want people to follow you and your rules. Don’t take charge. You’re not ready. Don’tGo There!

Fifth, when you mess up, “’fess up.” People of all stripes are so much more forgiving when you tell the truth rather than leave them guessing. Go There! In any relationship, admit it when you blow it. It will save you a lot of negative consequences including lying and self-deception, which are the worst conscience-killing consequences of all. Don’t Go There!

Sixth, value what you say you value and act consistently. For instance, should you choose to get up and go to church on the weekend, the moment you walk in prepared to worship you will change at that very moment. Your value will be driven down deeply for a very simple reason — no one is telling you to go. But Go There! Enrich your faith as you enter the ivory towers of higher education. It will be tested and can be strengthened. You’re big people now. You will be tempted to run past boundaries of what is right and wrong. Don’t Go There! For instance, the law says you cannot drink until you are 21. Even when you can, should you? Stretch yourself, but don’t snap your conscience and potentially lose your life along the way.

Seventh, fail forward. You are not going to get everything right. Choosing friends, introductions, beginning classes, speaking up, trying new things, tests, experiments and everything else in life carries with the risk of failure. To try is to risk failure. To love is to risk not being loved in return. Those who risk nothing have nothing and accomplish nothing. Try and fail. Learn from it. Get better. Go There! When you fail, remember the definition of insanity is to keep doing things the same old way and expecting different results. Don’t Go There!

Finally, come home. It’s where those wonderful yet frustrating, loving yet lacking, wanting to be perfect yet imperfect people are who love you the most. They miss you and in your most candid moments, you will miss them. Stay in touch. Life is all about love. Everything else goes away. It’s your move. I cannot wait to see how you will change the world. Just remember where you have come from and to whom you belong. We love you.

The Rev. Ray Hardee, a graduate of Gardner Webb University, now teaches there. He is senior pastor of Forest Pointe Church in Belmont.