We are fortunate to live in a lovely LARGE house and we frequently entertain family and friends on the weekends. With all of the busy schedules to maintain during the week, little piles of detritus accumulate seemingly everywhere, and we scramble to at least organize some of it so that our guests are not greeted at the door by our piles of stuff.

Friday is cleaning day for me as I do not go into the office that day. I usually try to do a general clutter sweep, but I am not allowed to touch my husband's clutter lest I misplace something important. He is rarely home, so his clutter piles pile up and I begin to hypeventilate when papers fly off of the entryway piece whenever the front door is opened. Hence the nagging. Of course it is ineffective. I will calmly make references to the clutter piles days prior to our guests' arrival but to no avail. I threaten to take all of the unsightly stuff and place it in a box to be stowed in our room, but I never follow through with it as the fallout would not be worth the moment of clutter free existence.

The funny thing is, hubby doesn't "see" his clutter, but he sees mine! Multiple purses hanging off of the barstools, how many pairs of shoes do I need to have laying on the floor of my bathroom for easy access?And if the closets were decent, I'd have a place to put my stuff! How many doggone books can one house hold? They are piled everywhere. Can't we get rid of some of those? I retailiate with questions regarding all of the birthday and Christmas gifts still in the original boxes piled on the fireplace mantle in our bedroom. And what about the bicycle helmet still in the box? Can't it at least go into the garage? And what is all of that other stuff on the fireplace mantle? Can't it go somewhere else? He counters with questions regarding the bags and bags of photos sitting under my desk gathering dust. Will I ever sort them? Kiddie clutter just gets dumped in their rooms and they have to deal with it.

It got me to thinking- I see his clutter and he sees mine. The multiple purses hanging on the barstools do not register as clutter to me as I attempt to switch purses to compliment what I am wearing. It is just faster if they are readily available. The pictures? I couldn't even consider getting rid of them until I do have time to sort through them, but that won't be for at least 20 more years. At least now most of the new photos are digital. The shoes in the bathroom? They end up there after a long day. The extra step of thowing them into the closet is just not on the agenda most days. But now that I know it bothers him, I have been making an effort to keep the visible purse pile to just the one which I am actually using, and the shoes to just the tennis which I use every morning, sandals which I use before the shoes go on in the morning, and the one pair that I am wearing for the day. But I know that they will all pile up again along with the purses.

I am wondering if we might both be happier dealing with each others' piles rather than our own? I could put his papers into nice clear plastic tubs with dates on the lid, and put all of that bicycle and soccer stuff into the little room in our garage, and he could throw my shoes into the closet and put all of my loose books into another plastic tub and place it into the garage. When our garage explodes, we could work together to organize.

Musing on this, I wonder if this kind of thinking- the I see your crap and you see mine- starts with just one person, then migrates outward-one family may not be aware of their own faults, but is quick to notice the faults of another, one community is not aware of its wrong doings, but is quick to judge the neighboring community. One state next to another, and one country bordering another, planetary judgment? Well- there have been movies about that. Hee hee hee.

It always brings me back to the truth of the matter ( get the pun? Matter???) If everyone just took care of their own stuff, the planet, country, state, community, family, household, and the individual's in them would be able to live amicably. But the problem arises in that how can you clean a mess that you don't even see? My boys don't see that the hand towel is wadded up on the towel rack and that there are chunks of toothpaste hardening onto the pink bathroom sink after they exit. What would prompt them to take the extra 30 seconds to straighten the towels and rinse the toothpaste chunks? Beats the heck out of me. I am ready to upload photos to their Facebook profiles broadcasting their slovenly actions, but I would surely be unfriended immediately. I have tried asking and nagging and yelling and pleading for them to maintain common decency in their bathroom in between the Friday detail cleanings- just out of consideration to their friends who come to visit and may happen to venture into the hazard zone unaware. They just won't comply. I was told today by my son to "close my eyes." Problem is, when their bathroom becomes nasty, they start using mine. Is this the same kind of thinking that is going on globally? When we muck up our area, we'll just start using yours? Or is it more the "just close your eyes and don't look at our mess?"

So the choices are to grin and bear it or to trade tasks since we can't see the error of our own ways. Hmmmmm. Interesting. What would Arizona change about California if it could? And vice versa? If we could tell the Mexicans what to do, what would we tell them? And they us? We could all just take turns doing tasks for others which they don't do on their own for one reason or another.

Again, if we all just did our part, wouldn't it be nice? I don't think we are there yet, as a planet, a country, a state, a community, a family, or as individuals. But maybe someday.

More Aphorisms

It is the ordinary women that know something about love. The gorgeous ones are too busy being gorgeous.

- Katharine Hepburn

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If only bad habits could be broken as easily as hearts!

- Christopher Spranger

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True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

- Unknown

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To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

- Robert A. Heinlein

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The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day.

- M. Grundler

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Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

- Tom Lehrer

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Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

-Victor Hugo

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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

- Unknown

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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

- Ogden nash

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Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

- Robert J Hanlon

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Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

- Cordel Hull

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Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

- Thomas Jones

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You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.

- Rita Mae Brown

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A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.