Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Awkward Moments in Cross-Ex

See, I didn't know these actually happened until the other day, when I had my first debate tournament. But they do. There are occasionally weird, awkward, and therefore hilarious moments in Cross Examination. But you have to hide your amusement. I'm being confusing. Let me explain with a list and some made-up stories:

Awkward Moment #1: When They Respond To An Argument Instead Of Asking A Question
Debater Numero Uno: So, regarding your disadvantage, you're saying that it would be waste of money to spend $10 billion for every endangered seal, correct?
The Second Person: Yes.
1: Actually, it's $10 billion dollars total, not for each seal, so your Disadvantage doesn't stand.
2: ...oh.

/GIANTAWKWARDPAUSE

1: ...so my next question...

Awkward Moment #2: When The Wrong Person Starts Asking The Questions
1: Hi, how are you doing today?
2: Good.
1: Ok, great. Now, in response to your 12th Solvency point, were you assuming that our plan actually wouldn't solve?
2: Well, how can it? Do you even attempt to solve for the impending tomato crisis?
1: Yes! It was in our 1AC!
2: But isn't that evidence biased?
1: No! VeggieTales is not biased.
2: ...
1: Are you going to ask another question?
2: No. That's your job.
1: Oh... right.

Awkward Momenent #3: When Someone Forgot About Cross-Ex
1: Thank You and I am now open for Cross-Examination.
2: ...oh! That's me! Ok, so... when you say your value is, umm, Justice, do you mean that that's what you think we, or you, should try to, uh, uphold? Through, you know, valuing Personal Freedom?
1: Yea. That's what a value is.
2: Oh, ok. Thanks. Umm, my next question...

Awkward Moment #4: When Someone Asks Way Too Many Questions
1: So, you say your plan will result in the creation of 24 jobs, right? What kind of jobs are they? Are they really significant? Are they jobs that benefit the rest of the community? Can I get your evidence for that? And a copy of your 1AC? Oh, almost forgot, how are you, anyway?
2: Uh...
*BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEEEPing from Timer*
1: Never mind, we're out of time.

Awkward Moment Number 5: When They Ask For Evidence But There Wasn't Any
1: Your 4th disadvantage was that of "Death, Destruction, and Nuclear War," correct?
2: Yup.
1: Can I get the evidence under that?
2: There, uh, there wasn't any.
1: Really?
2: Yea.
1: Did you bring up any evidence in your speech?
2: No.
1: ...this is awkward.

Moral of the story is, awkwardness is inevitable. This is homeschoolers we're talking about. No, not just any homeschoolers. DEBATERS.

1 comment:

One time I was debating some good friends of mine and during cross-x the opposing team asked my partner, "Are the government of Russia?" And my partner was like, "Yes I am." That wasn't as awkward as it was amazing.Also, once two of my friends hit each other (FYI, they're brothers) and in cross-x the younger one randomly hugged the older one.

Roadmap

Resolutional Analysis

If you were not already aware, my blog is a direct rip-off of the blog/book Stuff Christians Like, which is a direct rip-off of Stuff White People Like, which is actually an original idea. I write about funny things in the world of Christian homeschool forensics. Fun.