Sure, you know where to go when looking for a no-strings attached interaction — think Adult Friend Finder, GetItON, Passion.com, and many more — but simply logging onto one of these self-proclaimed hookup sites hardly ensures your sexual needs will be met.

As frustrating as it may be, the irony can’t be ignored: You’re seeking nothing more than a straightforward, hassle-free sexual engagement, yet getting such an arrangement is the biggest tease of all.

It’s not that there aren’t interested parties. In fact, millions of attractive, diverse, interested singles are on hookup sites at this very moment, but simply putting up a profile and browsing aren’t enough. You still have to interact, show interest, exchange information, and participate in a conversation or, as some might see it, game in which the rules and etiquette are far from clear.

Furthermore, thanks to the pseudo invisibility cloak people often put on when interfacing on and through digital screens, users are much like likely to feel comfortable signalling interest in casual encounters online, even if they don’t actually plan to follow through with the act.

Some members may be testing the waters, experimenting with something they see as ‘taboo’. Many others are undoubtedly just letting off steam, perhaps as a result of a sexually-frustrating relationship or other unfortunate mishap. And of course there are always those who ‘say’ via their actions or even words that they want something laid back, but secretly want something much more intimate.

The result is an array of online members with various degrees of subtleness all huddled into different hookup sites, trying to communicate amidst mixed emotions, uncertainty, and more than a little hesitation.

For the rest of the pack, those who claim they want a casual relationship and do indeed intend to act on their acclimation, the road from winkey face to physical affection is paved in confusion. There’s an unmistakable disconnect between finding what you want online and actually getting it in person - the online to offline dating conundrum - that unfortunately doesn’t get any easier even if you’re on self-proclaimed ‘easy’ dating sites.

Deterred? Don’t be. The lack of clear rules and social norms associated with finding casual sex partners online gives those who know how to use it to their advantage a massive upper hand. No, it’s not manipulative, you’re clearly on a hookup site, after all. And it’s not rocket science, either. It's purely a no-nonsense system to help you get the most out of your online hookup site. Here’s how it works:

1. Get An Identity

Essentially, your profile is the sole slice of advertorial space you get within a huge hookup site to advertise yourself, elude to your interests, and at the end of the day, prove your worth. As such, it should be created with one thing in mind: To intrigue and entice readers to want to know (you) more.

The trick to creating a profile for finding casual sex partners online is really to think like a marketer. Highlight your best features with your descriptions and answers, and keep in mind the simple fact that online you can only really appeal to one sense: The visual. You need to make a good first impression.

Your profile is not your blog, so don’t tarnish it with unnecessary, or worse yet, negative information. Also, don’t get too serious, and don’t give too much away up front. Instead use your profile to evoke genuine interest in others. Once you’ve done so successfully, your profile does a lot of the initial flirting (or winking) for you.

2. Get Online

What’s the most important aspect of finding casual hookup partners online? Location, location, location. You can craft the best profile in the world but if you’re on the wrong site it’s rather pointless. You wouldn’t walk into a church boasting your interest in casual sex, but by the same token you probably don’t want your personal or contact information floating around the wrong sections of Craigslist. You have to find a happy medium in a site that is safe, caters to meets your needs, and attracts the quality of members you want. There are dozens of wild dating sites out there, so to save time, start with one of our top hookup sites:

XMatch

If you want to know a bit more than just the username and picture of the individual for your next sexual encounter, XMatch provides a judgement-free casual hookup environment where members really don’t hold back on the information they share. This is a site where you really have the freedom to make your profile as revealing as you want, with dozens of profile fields, public and private albums, a video tab, a personal blog space, and even a sexual preferences section called My Kinks. Beyond the ability to make your profile really stand out, the site displays super relevant information about others when you browse their profile, such as a visual compatibility chart and testimonials section. Beyond profiles, the hookup site has a large user base and a comprehensive amount of ways to find others and engage such as various search options, a hot or not like matching game, and a Life Action section with interactive model videos and live member broadcasts.

Adult Friend Finder

With over 60 million members, x-rated pictures, live chats, and much more, Adult Friend Finder is simply a no-brainer for anyone looking to find casual sex partners. This mature hookup site is easily one of, if not the most popular and well-respected names in Internet hookup culture and is filled to the brim with sexually confident members who very evidently are there for the same reason you are.

Passion.com

As the name suggests, Passion.com attracts a more seductive and tauntingly sexual crowd. If lingerie and suggestive poses do it for you, look no further. As a hookup site, Passion.com still contains more nudity and sexually-explicit live cams than your average dating site, but steps it up a few notches to do so in a classy manner. Think Instagram models gone x-rated, seeking out hookup partners in a smokey-eyed sultry, behind-the-scenes fashion.

FriendFinder-X

FriendFinder-X puts a more playful spin on traditional hookup sites. Rather than pure nudity, you’ll find skin plus humor, along with likely the widest, most diverse collection of members. The site is inherently uplifting, and has a refreshingly fun-loving, down-to-earth vibe. Members clearly there to enjoy themselves, emotions don’t cloud the waters, and you really feel like an equal the moment you log on. If you’re in need of something completely drama-free, this is the place to start.

Get It On

To browse sexual classifieds in a safe, spam-free environment, head straight over to GetItON.com. The hookup site bypasses the Facebook-type social network layout seen on competitor sites and instead focuses on actually matching you with other casual sex seekers. The site lets you easily showcase your preferences, from lifestyle to sexuality in a controlled, transparent manner. And incase you’re a little uncertain of what you want, the sexual preferences are gathered via a short survey that allows you to rank sexual activities on a scale ranging from hard no’s to must-haves.

NoStringsAttached

No Strings Attached prioritizes your privacy allowing you to keep your casual sex life as discreet as you wish. Members can create and fully utilize anonymous profiles, to ensure identities are kept secret, and can even go as far as to communicate privately over the phone without disclosing phone number using the PrivateCalls feature. The site is designed for those who are interested in hooking up online and want to (or need to) fly completely under the radar. Likewise No Strings Attached attracts both those who are single and currently in relationships.

3. Get Chatting

If you find communicating online the hardest part, you’re probably overthinking it. Seeing as you’re seeking an arrangement that is attachment-free, there’s no need to attach too much thought or concern to the outcome of your chats, emails, winks, etc.

How you choose to communicate should really take up no more space than a single thought. If you’re attracted, simply act. Dating websites' winks are flirty, but they just extend the length of the online communication stage and should be used only if you don’t have time to send a quick message. For the best results, simply send an message at the magic-number length of 2-3 sentences. For bonus points, sign your message with something that describes yourself, rather than your name for an easy way to casually start building up anticipation.

Then, most importantly, get offline as soon as possible. Do so by limiting your back and forth messages to 2-3 rounds and reserve the more suggestive, flirty lines to when you actually have her number.

4. Go “Dating”

Once you have her contact information, focus on arranging a rendezvous (or "date"). You don’t have to share your life story or sell yourself too much at this point. Simply show common courtesy, and focus on your goal: physical interaction.

When deciding where and when to meet, continue to keep it casual. Lock down a potential date to meet thats sooner rather than later - as in, within the next few days - but don’t get stuck on the details. Best case scenario, you can arrange what to do and where to meet when the upcoming date arrives. The less you plan, the less the entire situation can be over-thought. Our tip: think of a few fun date ideas, but most of all, keep it light and fun.

The best casual encounters will always be those in which you can actually be yourself. To replicate that from an online meeting, try to go with the flow to eliminate any pressure, prejudgements, or consequences, and simply focus on enjoying your time with a like-minded partner.

AskMen may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service.
The links are independently placed by our Commerce team and do not influence editorial content. To find out more, please read our complete
terms of use.