Monday, September 24, 2007

Pefect Love Casts Out Fear

I don't know when I began to become fearful of things, but many things that I am afraid of are ridiculous. Some of the crazy things I am afraid of include spiders, semi trucks (especially when I am right beside one), and things that go bump in the night.

I've always been afraid at night. I can remember when I was 10 watching a movie entitled "Night of the Living Lepus" This movie was about giant killer rabbits. Why my parents ever let me watch it I'll never know. Anyways, I can remember laying in bed hearing giant rabbits hopping down our road and just waiting for this terrible rabbit to jump through my window and land on top of me. This went on for weeks. Then again in high school I would check out these horror books from our school library. I would lay in bed reading these books clutching at my throat, and every little sound would make me want to scream for my life.

After JA and I were married we lived in a trailer in the middle of the woods. The living room had a giant picture window on both sides of the room. If JA wasn't home with me, I would be terrified to walk anywhere in the trailer because I just knew someone was outside watching me.

OK, I know you are thinking "Tracy get a grip on yourself -- YOU are an ADULT!" Well, Even now I am afraid of things that go bump in the night. Every night as I lay in bed I remind myself of the verse "Perfect Love Casts Out Fear." I have no reason to be afraid. As I trust Jehovah to take care of my family, I can know that all things happen for HIS glory. He will not allow anything to happen that is not best for my family or for HIS glory. I am so thankful that I can look to my Lord and Savior to calm my fears and allow me to sleep.

Now, for a fear that is very reasonable. This summer on vacation we went to Celebration City. We thought it would be fun to take our family on the Ferris Wheel. Now the temperature was over 100 degrees that day, and JA and I were both dripping sweat. Kara had a blast. She sat still and just looked all over as we went up and stopped. Lydia also had a blast and was snuggled right up next to Daddy. However, when we stopped she thought it was time to move so she wiggled a bit, but she obeyed and stayed sitting.HOWEVER . . . Andy and I were not having as enjoyable of a time as the rest of my family. When we got to the top and stopped the cell phone just happened to ring (it was attached to my belt loop). I flipped it open and yelled at it -- "Sorry we can't talk right now we are up on the top of a Ferris wheel" Question -- Why did I answer the phone? We do have voice mail on it. Well, while we were stopped Andy decided it was no longer enjoyable to be sitting on mommies lap. He wanted down. So, the entire time up on top I am struggling to keep a wiggly boy on my lap. My hands were so sweaty they were slippery, so I pretty much had my arms wrapped around him as tightly as I could. (By the way, did I mention to you that I am deathly afraid of heights) I was so thankful when the Ferris wheel started up again. And, when we finally came to a stop, I decided "I am never going on there with a baby again."