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Ok let me spell it out for you:
1. Personality needs to be a good and long paragraph minimum.
2. History needs to be two paragraphs minimum, enough for me to understand the character.
3. You are missing a writing sample.
4. Please do not make a new post, but edit your old post. Delete the new post and just edit your original post.
5. The origin of your powers should be included in History.

I'll give you a couple more chances because I see you're new and you're really trying.

Last edited by bronislav84; 7th February 2013 at 1:23 AM.

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Bronislav is my Name and 1984 is my Birth year. If you can't say my name, just call me Bron or Slavik.

Sorry I hadn't noticed until you said so. Ok you're getting better! Couple of things still.

1. Is his brother dead too? It's not clear. You mention avenging his brother but not why.
2. Please organize each part of your form a little better so paragraphs are clearer. A paragraph is six sentences. It all looks like one big wall of text and is a little painful on the eyes.
3. The RP Sample needs to be your own writing. If you have never done RP before please write something up for a sample.

Please let me know when the post is updated.

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Bronislav is my Name and 1984 is my Birth year. If you can't say my name, just call me Bron or Slavik.

I'm sorry, I'm not seeing anything new. The reader is still not being told what the villain looks like.

Edit: Shen I've finished reading your awesome character and can officially add him to the first post, where before I agreed with Neo your character was awesome but just wanted to make sure.

I'm still a little confused on the history of Terra, since Latveria is Marvel. I'm going to assume you made up the part about Latveria merging with Markovia and assume Markovia itself is made up, but it doesn't have much bearing on the story. DC is full of made up countries, so that's of no consequence.

I'll also hold you to what you said, that you can have Terra get revived by being buried in the ground for a couple of years and come back to life. I personally like the character a bit too much to keep her dead, and it's quite obvious you do too since you wrote her into your character's profile so heavily. So yea, please bring her in.

Also with Food Guy dropped out, that means both his hero and villain drop out. That opens one villain slot. First come first serve, and it must be a GREAT villain who will stick around and be active.

Last edited by bronislav84; 10th February 2013 at 3:37 AM.

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Bronislav is my Name and 1984 is my Birth year. If you can't say my name, just call me Bron or Slavik.

Description:
The same as this except slightly taller, about 6'4" and without the buttons on his hat and coat.

Personality: Ace is a very polite and intelligent young man and seems to be just a normal person. However he is anything but normal. He has a seemingly bottomless stomach, able to put away massive quantities of food before he had to ration his food intake. He also has extreme narcolepsy, meaning that anytime that he ate or conversed with anyone, he could randomly fall asleep.

However, whenever he fights he exhibits a serious side and never runs from a fight no matter who his opponent is. Some people see this as a death wish, but in reality he wishes to keep those he cares for from being hurt. He also has a bad temper that only shows itself when someone insults or harms those close to him which could lead to his undoing.

Background/History: Ever since he could remember, Ace had always been able to produce fire from his body. He wasn't able to control it at first as it was connected to his emotions. As such, whenever he got angry he inadvertently engulfed himself in flames and almost burned down his home. Thankfully, his parents were able to put out the flames before any considerable damage was done.

Some time after he learned to control his powers, he witnessed a man being mugged while he walked home from school. Not being one to walk away while someone was in distress, he leapt in without thinking and tried to drive the mugger away. He was successful after covering himself in flames which scared the mugger away. The victim thanked him and went back on his way. This is when Ace realized he could become a hero like his idols, the Teen Titans, and help to protect the people of Jump City. This would never come to fruition however once "The Apocalypse" hit.

In the days leading up to "The Apocalypse" event, Ace, his parents and little brother, Luffy, were caught up in a battle between one of the heroes and villains; however he has no idea who the battle was between as they were buried under rubble from a nearby building. Ace woke up and found himself trapped underneath a support beam. He managed to wriggle his way out from under it and started to search for his family. He eventually found his parents but unfortunately they didn't make it. He wasn't able to find his brother however and to this day believes that he's out there somewhere.

Nowadays, Ace goes around the city, now known as the "City of Shadows", to take out small cells of the foot solders that patrolled around the city to look for members of the resistance force known as "The Renegades" and for workers that may have escaped. He hopes to join up with The Renegades at some point as he knows that sooner or later, he'll be found and eventually taken out by the group of villains controlling the town. He also hopes that The Renegades will be able to provide him with info on his little brother's whereabouts.

Superpower(s)/Special Abilities/Etc: Ace is able to produce fire from anywhere on his body, whether it be on his hands, feet or all over his body. The heat of the flames are controlled by his emotions. In other words, the angrier he becomes, the hotter his flames become. He can even become fire itself, but only for short periods of time. Due to this, Ace cannot be burnt. He can also dodge any normal attack and even burn opponents depending on the attacks range.

Name and Last Name (If you have one): Eris Rue and Jade
Hero or Villain: Villain
Super Hero/Villain Alias: Mirage
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Description: Eris Rue is 6 ft 1 in height and only 176lbs. She has bright green eyes and long blond hair, which grows all the way to her armpits. She often wears standard reading glasses as well. She wears a dark green coat over her body with dark blue jeans. She also wears dark green heals on her feet. Lastly is a jade ring that tips her finger.

Eris and Jade's combined form, Mirage, is taller than the others, and less bulky as well. She has the longest trunk of the three, being able to stretch to an entire yard. Her arms are a bit longer than Detour's but shorter than Headaches. Her waste is smaller than both Detours and Headaches. Her claws are also shorter than the other two. Her bottom half, a deep blackish-green, has longer legs than the other two, and a long tail. Her upper half is a light green, like her tapir's jewel.

Personality: Eris is somewhat sly and intelligent. She is pretty good at working technology, albeit not as good as a lot of the other characters in the RP. However, she is kind of a brat, and doesn't like not getting her way. She isn't exactly evil, so much as she will do what ever it takes to get what she wants, and she's not as remorseful as some may be.

Jade is somewhat altered to act to Eris' desires. Eris had trained Jade to be dumber than the other magic tapirs, which lessened Jade's power over Eris when the two combine. This allows Mirage to do nefarious acts without Jade trying to stop her.

Background/History: Eris had always been fascinated by the unidentified, and always liked reading about ancient creatures. Every time she hears about creatures she's never seen before, she's off to the library to read up on it. But often times, she hears about newly discovered creatures, and that gets her mind fired up. That's why she spent a lot of her life studying to find out about more and more new animals.

Eris spent a lot of her later life as a scientist. She specialized in studying unidentified creatures, including those that show up recently. Often times, she would get many different creatures in her lab, but a lot of times it was nothing special. Still, she did occasionally get specimens that interested her, like a thylacine or other creatures thought to be extinct. But still, she was waiting to find something that wowed her.

...Then one day, she received Jade, a strange miniature tapir with a bright green gem on her forehead. Eris spent a good amount of time studying the tapir and its gem. Deep down, she assumed it was a hoax. And because of this, she tried to pull the creatures gem off. ...But when she did, that's when she found out about the creatures power.

The two combined with each other, and they became Mirage. Eris spent a lot of time playing with her new-found powers, and she couldn't believe her eyes. What she imagined appeared in front of her, and it amazed her to no end. ...In fact, it made her feel powerful.

Eris thought she had hit a power-strike when she found Jade. In actuality, the animals brought to the lab were not hers to keep, but she managed to smuggle Jade out of the office, and out into the open. When Eris thought about it, Jade gave her the ability to give her things she wanted through trickery and illusions. She even tried one day to steal a coat from a fashion store by staying outside in the alley and using her powers near by to take the coat.

...But Jade did not approve, and shocked Eris out of it until they eventually un-merged. Eris noticed that when she tried to talk to Jade, Jade tried to run away, which told Eris that Jade refused to go with it. There was much about Jade and the Baku form Eris didn't know, but she tried her hardest to find out as much as possible.

During her studies, she caught wind of another magic tapir belonging to a member of the Teen Titans. Except this tapir had a pink gem, and different powers. To this day, Eris kept searching for more answers on to what these creatures were, and in her mind, she wished to collect more and more data on these tapirs. However, she always kept the feeling that her tapir was the strongest of all.

Superpower(s)/Special Abilities/Etc: Besides the ability to combine and turn into a Baku, Mirage has the ability to create illusions with her mind. Whatever she imagines can appear in front of her. Say, if she thinks of a giant monster, she can make it appear. In addition, if thought about hard enough, she can even make these creatures come to life. This can give her a tactical edge in battle.

Species: Human and Tapir/Baku

Member of the Renegades: No

List your job, designation, position, or duties in the Villain community: Eris now seeks out the villains league, hoping they can help her on her quest to find out more on the tapirs. She also wishes to show off her powers as well. However, she wishes to join under the account that she feels they can better aid her research than anyone else.

Other: She has absolutely NO rivalry with Headache except that she wishes to study Ellie. Also... I'm really starting to milk the psychic tapirs motif too much. This is the last time, I tells ya.

Last edited by MugoUrth; 27th February 2013 at 11:49 PM.

I must say, I am 110% against this action, I mean, quoting Wikipedia, '' A world of free knowledge will be lost ''. I say screw SOPA and PIPA, and all who agrees with me, sig this! We all detest the bill and will fight for the freedom of the Internet!

This is Bidoof. Many people loathe it with their lives. If you are of the few people who love this little beaver, put this in your sig. Started by Warrior Scolipede

Ok Codi your character is definitely fine now that I've finally read it.

Mug your character is also fine, except that you use Iris in one spot, but that's easy to edit right? Second thing is you didn't fill in what her role in the Villain community is. Please fill that in, even if it's just to say that she is a solo do-bad that never plans to join up with the villains proper. It's important to know affiliations.

Villans are again locked, until I do the player purge which should be very soon.

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Bronislav is my Name and 1984 is my Birth year. If you can't say my name, just call me Bron or Slavik.

Villans are again locked, until I do the player purge which should be very soon.

On second thought, I feel there's a more efficient method to find out who is still active in the RP and who isn't, as opposed to VMing everyone.

I did a check and looked back at all the people who haven't posted at least once in the last three weeks. To me, if they haven't posted for three weeks, they're just not active enough to really have that much of a bearing on how events turn out. After checking, I came up with the following people:

Thank you Neo for doing that. You all have a week from Neo's post to post before you get marked inactive, and three before you're marked as dropped. Dropped people do not count toward spots and will need to reapply, assuming there's space.

Since they don't count as inactive just yet, we need to keep the lock on. A soft lock though. We can safely take 1 more villain I think.

Banner by the illustrious Avenger Angel

Bronislav is my Name and 1984 is my Birth year. If you can't say my name, just call me Bron or Slavik.

Alright, I added that she's not a member just yet, only that she wishes to join.

Also, I plan on listing out the different varieties of magic tapir in the RP, like one with Telepathy, one with mind reading, one that can tell the future, one that can warp its surroundings, and any other mind-based abilities I can think of. I do NOT plan to use them in the RP, though.

I must say, I am 110% against this action, I mean, quoting Wikipedia, '' A world of free knowledge will be lost ''. I say screw SOPA and PIPA, and all who agrees with me, sig this! We all detest the bill and will fight for the freedom of the Internet!

This is Bidoof. Many people loathe it with their lives. If you are of the few people who love this little beaver, put this in your sig. Started by Warrior Scolipede

Lol wrong field. It's the one concerning villains. Duties, responsibility, or rank in the villain community. Please fill that in.

Also I think it stands mentioning that making stuff into reality is a little like Shade, so keep it to reasonable stuff ok? I kinda don't wanna see you making a gigantic pastry then making it real and having it collapse on people, or like a 50 foot ugly monster and bring that to life. We had to kill Shade off for making something from nothing, among other things.

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Bronislav is my Name and 1984 is my Birth year. If you can't say my name, just call me Bron or Slavik.