Monday, December 24, 2007

You know when I posted oh say 3 hours ago for Paxson to do something immediately I didn't know he would read it so fast and then act accordingly. With that said, Scott Skiles has been shown the door after coaching for a span of five seasons with the Bulls, compiling a record of 165-172 (.490), and had led the Bulls to the playoffs for the past 3 years. For more of my thoughts on this, head over to Epic Carnival

This is up on CNN, but in case you haven't seen it yet, check it out. A car crashed into the ABC 7 Studio on State Street during the 10 o'clock live broadcast last night. How anchor Ravi Baichwal didn't blurt out a HOLY SHIT! is beyond me. The look on his face is hilarious. All in all, I thought he handled the situation pretty damn well...a tip of the hat to you, sir.

With a 9-16 record, the Bulls are getting nowhere fast these days. With pretty much everyone playing like shit, the trade value of any player at this point is definitely down. However, the time is now for Johnny pop-a-shot to start stringing deals together. Not next week, or some time in January. NOW. It's the only way they can get out of the cellar. Here's a look at next month's schedule:

They get Charlotte and Minnesota twice, along with Atlanta. This team needs to go at least 11-5 to get back to .500 (assuming they can beat Milwaukee and New York because San Antonio and Orlando will most likely kick their ass for their last 4 games this month.)

The latest rumors have the Bulls dealing Ben Wallace (please make it happen dear lord) and Ben Gordon for Tracy McGrady. This would definitely benefit both teams as Yao can have Wallace watch his back for him on the weak side, and Gordon will jack up all the shots you want him to in Adelman's up-tempo offense. The Bulls would then get the big guard who can take the last shot they've desperately needed. I know he constantly gets hurt, but Gordon is not on T-Mac level, and may never be. This would then clear the way for Aaron Gray to start, and get more minutes for Joakim Noah.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I consider football fantasy draft day better then Christmas. It lasts longer, has the same amount of unpredictability, and you spend the time with people you actually enjoy being around. As you start making your picks, you envision how smart your sleepers are and how great of a season each player is going to have. About 12 weeks later, some of your "expert" ideas have turned you remorseful and angry, kinda like picking up a prostitute with a penis. How'd that one turn out, Hugh? Yes, every year has it's fantasy busts, and today we'll look at the ten biggest disappointments this year.

NUMBER #10: BEARS DEFENSEWith an average selection in the fifth round, you really ended up kicking yourself in the ass this year having the Bears Defense, which is ranked 29th this year after ending up 6th in 2006. Injuries and Adam Archuleta really screwed the Bears, letting guys like Trumaine McBride in only to get burned worse then Frank Beamer (too soon?)

NUMBER #9: CEDRIC BENSONI was among many who were pissed after the first couple games that the Bears got rid of TJ. But after a few more games it became obvious that it didn't matter who was running behind that shitty O-line. None the less, Benson has taken his place with Curtis Enis and Rashaan Salaam as failed 1st round picks.

NUMBER #8: DREW BREESHow many times did you kick your dog after Brees' first four games? 1TD, 9 INTS. Many people bailed on him, and those who were fortunate vultures reaped the benefits as Brees went for 24 TDS to just 6 INTS thereafter.

NUMBER #7: LAURENCE MARONEYWith an average draft selection in the second round, Maroney completely screwed whoever owned him. He had one 100 yard game in week 3, then missed the next three weeks due to injury. He didn't even score his first td until week 11.

NUMBER #6: REGGIE BUSHWhen Deuce McAllister went down for the year, I thought it would be a blessing in disguise..it wasn't. Bush has just straight up sucked, averaging only 48 rushing yards per game thus far, not to mention his 8 fumbles.

NUMBER #5: STEVE SMITHIn a way, Steve Smith's 2007 season has been alot like his fathead poster: stationary. Smith had 1,166 yards and 8 TDS last year, and while there's still two games left, his production has been declining since his career best of 1,563 yds and 12 TDS in 05'.

NUMBER #4: MARC BULGERYes, that's Marc Bulger as the love child of Bulls PbP man Tom Dore and Christopher from the Sopranos (Courtesy of Mac, Jurko and Harry). Bulger was by far and away the biggest QB blow-up, with only 7 TDS this year. But it's hard to place all the blame on him as his O-line was torn apart by injuries from day one.

NUMBER #3: RUDI JOHNSONPretty much the same exact story as Maroney; missed three games due to injury, never really produced although he has scored a TD in 3 of his last 4 games.

NUMBER #2: SHAUN ALEXANDERWith an 1.0 average round selection on Yahoo! Fantasy draft boards, Alexander can arguably stake a claim for the biggest overall bust. His 3 games to start the season was reassuring to owners: 105 yds, TD...70 yds, TD...100 yds. After that, the monumental drop-off set in. In the eight following games he played (missed 3 games to injury...coincidence to above rbs?) he's only compiled 337 yds and 1 TD, for an average of 42 yds rushing per game. Goodbye to your career, #37, it was a nice MVP season you once had.

NUMBER #1: LARRY JOHNSONDrafted #2 overall in many leagues, and probably some dumb enough to take him ahead of LT (why they would I have no idea) Johnson gets the nod for biggest bust because if his draft position vs. expectations. His numbers this year (559 yds, 3 TDS) are similar to Maroney, R. Johnson and Alexander, but he has the higher status.

It's been strange year for fantasy football, and for the owners of these players, a very cruel one at that.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Yeah, I know, me and Noce have been completely lazy. I mean we didn't even do our damn picks last week, outside of the Houston-Denver game which Noce threw up about 5 minutes before the game started. Here's the convo:

Noce: Are we doing our picks

Me: Damn it, I completely forgot..who's playing again?

Noce: Houston and Denver

Me: (pause)...I guess 17-13 Broncos.

So in other words, we've been completely mailing it in (no shit, really?). Well, if you think about it, what good things have there been for me to post about which are worth your time reading? The Bears shit ass season is finally mathetically over, the Bulls are awful, and Hawks have dropped several games like a young team usually does at some point in the season. I could go on rants cursing out everyone from Fred Miller to Ben Wallace (Fuck both of you) but I think if you're a fellow Chicago sports fan, you've exhausted every known expletive the english language encompasses. I have a few ideas for interesting posts I'll be turning out soon, but I've decided quality is better then quantity. With that said, thanks to everyone who has been checking us out during this terrible year that was Chicago sports in 2007. I'm sure I'll throw a few more posts up before the end of the year, but in case something comes, Merry Christmas motherfuckers!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Tonight the nation will happily forget about the shitstorm that hit Major League Baseball today and remember that football is way more exciting. The NFL would never let some asshole from Boston fuck everything up with a pointless report that will accomplish nothing in the end. That dude would be dead if he even started investigating into NFL. Dead.

Anyway tonight's game will feature a battle between the Denver Broncos (owned by Homer Simpson) and the Houston Texans (worst team name ever). I know a lot of people have been whispering this lately but I'm not afraid to come out and say it: Mario Williams is a legitimate #1 overall pick from the 2006 NFL Draft. Williams is an athletic freak and he is going to prove it to the Nation (well at least those who have the NFL Network) tonight against a stout Broncos line.

Another reason I'm happy about tonight's game is that Bryant "The Oreo" Gumbel will be sitting this one out with a sore throat. Seriously, I can't think of an announcer that makes me more angry with constant errors and overall just awful attempts at sports knowledge than Gumbel. Go back to the Today Show so dumb housewives can continue to be brainwashed in peace.

DESCRIPTION: Centerfielder needed. Must be able to put ball in play every once in a while. Ability to get picked off during base stealing attempts (oh wait that's what Jerry Owens is for). Must enjoy traveling and dropping 3 games series' left and right. Must have good people skills to tolerate A.J. Pierzynski's temper tantrums and occasional racial knock knock jokes. Must be willing to learn spanglish and different uses of the word fanoik. We'll provide terrible hitting instruction. Tryouts to be held in Glenview, Rogers Park, and Calumet City (please bring mace).

This is what it's basically coming down to at this point for the White Sox. All that's left for them is Mike Cameron (25 game suspension to start season, .328 on base pct.) and keeping their fingers crossed that Coco Crisp doesn't get included on a trade to Minnesota for Santana. What terrific offseason you've had Kenny. You signed an average outfielder with a decent arm who has "stress issues", and bullpen reliever who hasn't looked too hot recently. In other words, another David Aardsma in the making. You're quite confident a guy who couldn't keep the ball in the park every time he pitched is going to "come through" because he led the team in first pitch plate nibblers in the month of September. Does anyone else feel like Gavin Floyd is Danny Wright reincarnated?

Watching the team go 45-66 after a 27-24 start was brutal, and at this point the team on paper as it stands could be even worse. I wonder if Kenny Williams and Isiah Thomas have a bet on how bad they can fuck things up before the other gets fired. I can't wait for this terrible sports year that was 2007 to be over, but at the same time, 2008 isn't looking any better. Sadly, the only thing I have to take joy in is the Cubs haven't won a world series in a 100 years. And while that brings a moment of fleeting joy, I have to put up with months of the North Siders making their way to the playoffs. Invest in Jack Daniels stock now, I'll be personally helping it out for a quite awhile.

Monday, December 10, 2007

After going over to Chicago Sports, I saw today's webpoll question which reads: Who do you want to be the #1 QB on Sunday; Brian Griese or Kyle Orton? Of the 5,500 votes cast, only 268had gone for Griese, or roughly 5%. It's obvious that Orton should get his chance with this season gone down the drain. But here's why I don't think it's good that he starts. Granted, I want him to start to, but I'm playing Devil's Advocate here because there are some things will not be the same come 2008.

1: TEAM HAS ALREADY GIVEN UP ON THE SEASON: It's not like Berrian has been running his routes hard or fully the past two games; now imagine what they're going to look like. If you answered "about as hard as Ditka can get without Cialis" then you're right. You've just won a free two pill sample. Adrian Peterson will play hard because he's auditioning as well, but his two deep threats will be uninterested. Bradley will probably get hurt, and Rashied Davis has done nothing all year. Speaking of do nothing all year, that's what you'll get from what's left of the o-line. Terrence Metcalf blocks people as well as a 5 year asian boy on a unicycle (dont ask where that came from, I'm kinda disturbed by it too.) Basically, Orton is going to be running for his life, and this performance will give you a brief idea, but not the whole picture.

2: A BAD STRING OF PERFORMANCES FROM ORTON COULD BRING BACK REX: That's all we need; What happens if Orton goes in for the last few games and absolutely blows? Lovie will have visions of Good Rex running through his head, and petition Angelo to resign him another year. Has Rex played better? Yes. Should he come back? No. Why go through another year of what's already happened? What good does it do to bring him back? It seems more like regression then progression to me. Let the Rex era be over and done with. Let him move on.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Be on the lookout for mid-day posts now, as I am done with training for my new job, and depending on the day, will have some time to post again during the day. Glorious, I know. Anyways, have a good weekend. For your viewing pleasure, Avenged Sevenfold:

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Just fucking with you. Here's my pick for tonight's Bears/Skins game, I'll give you the rest on Saturday as usual. There's supposed to be a crazy snowstorm tonight in Chicago so I plan on going out and celebrating two things: a Bears victory and bums. They're too stupid to migrate south like the rest of the animals in this city so they just shiver and shiver and...

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

For the first week who knows how fucking long, I have FINALLY gained a game on Noce. Sad or impressive? I'm thinking it's not the latter. None the less, I am now 8 games back. What's the standings? Fuck, I've lost track and don't really care to go and find out since there's only two people who honestly give a shit. Haha, speaking of giving a shit, I ponder out loud if anyone has actually put some money on some of my johnny jr. college fund winners. If you did, which I doubt, you'd be up; I went 2-1 last week (fucking Lions), and since I started picking against the spread, I'm 11-5 thus far. You can only find my locks now here at the Bull, as DC Scrap tossed the picks section. I don't blame him; if you're going have a certain amount of site writers do picks, it should all be uniform and start from week one so you chronicle who's full of shit, and who's decently mediocre. Oh well. As I mentioned, I will continue to make my 3 picks; if for nothing more then shits and giggles. Also, I was going to post some shit last night, but for some reason or another blogger was all fucked up on my laptop. I'm sure it doesn't help blowing load after load on the screen with Briana Banks, but what can you do? Anyways, enough lies and loads, here's the picks fuckers:

CHI @ WAS: 24-17 BEARS..I hope they lose the rest of their games this season though, who the fuck cares about finishing 8-8?

MIA @ BUF: 24-6 BILLS

DAL @ DET: 37-14 COWBOYS

CAR @ JAX: 24-10 JAGS

OAK @ G.B.: 31-17 FUDGE PACKERS

STL @ CIN: 31-21 BENGALS

S.D. @ TEN: 28-20 CHARGERS: LINE S.D. -1

T.B. @ HOU: 20-14 BUCS

NYG @ PHI: 24-21 GIANTS

ARI @ SEA: 27-24 SEAHAWKS

MIN @ S.F.: 35-10 VIQUEENS

CLE @ NYJ: 41-17 BROWNS LINE: CLE -3.5

K.C. @ DEN: 14-10 BRONCOS

PIT @ N.E.: 28-24 STEELERS...I honestly don't expect this to happen, but if by miracle it does I can say I called it

Monday, December 3, 2007

Usually I wouldn't even think of putting anything related to soccer on ChicagoBull but this is just too funny. The pastel-striped outfits themselves made me laugh and watching them try to kick the ball was just the cherry on top. Seeing all these funny Japanese game shows really makes me wonder what else goes on in that wacky island. Are these people really volunteering to be part of this humiliating game show or were they sold into some twisted backwards slavery ring and forced to participate in these crazy antics?

Saturday, December 1, 2007

It's officially football season in Chicago, as the first snowfall of the year occurred today. It was a good little white out view from my window for almost three hours, but the snow has subsided and only the cold chilling wind remains. Alright, enough with the Walt Whitman critique of the climate in Chicago. Here's my take on the games for this week, and I have money riding on the game so this week really means something other than just dominating Dr. C.

Atlanta @ St. Louis: 20-12 Rams

Buffalo @ Washington: 27-24 Redskins

Detroit @ Minnesota: 24-20 Vikings

Texans @ Titans: 23-17 Titans

Jacksonville @ Indianapolis: 31-20 Colts

NY Jets @ Miami: 19-10 Dolphins

San Diego @ Kansas City: 34-20 Chargers

Seattle @ Philadelphia: 26-20 Eagles

San Francisco @ Carolina: 16-10 49ers

Cleveland @ Arizona: 30-10 Browns *If you have any brains at all and $20 or more to put down, take advantage of the (-1) spread on the Cleveland Browns and bet HEAVILY*

About Me

Getting To Know Your Editors/Drunks

About Dr. C:Dr. C is a graduate of Southern Illinois University. He spent 4 years there as a Sports Anchor/Director. After deciding he didn't want to cover rodeos working 50+ hours a week making 20K in Buttfuck, Montana he decided to return home to Chicago. Dr. C is a real nickname he goes by for claiming to have a Ph.D in bullshit. He can remember phone numbers from people he met 15 years yet couldn't tell you your name back to you after having been introduced. If he could be sponsored by anything in life, it would undoubtedly be Jack Daniels.

About Noce:Noce is a graduate of the University of Illinois. He was the sports editor there for the Daily Illini. As you may have guessed, he's a huge Bulls fan, and spends most of his day on Blog-A-Bull. Noce also enjoys Crab Rangoon. He will expand on this later when he's not lying in bed hungover at this moment.

About StalkingErinAndrews:Stalkingerinandrews wasted his money at the University of Illinois, attending for a few years but never earning a degree. He enjoys long tractor rides, barbecue grilling, and spending time with children. (His own brats, not someone else's.) He is a true homer, being a fan of most Chicago area teams, with the inclusion of the Illini being the obvious exception. He has to go now, his wife just said "Blah, blah, blah, get off that damn computer! I need blah, blah, blah."