11.15.2005

Your Heiress Diary #8.

We truly hope you've enjoyed our breeze through Paris Hilton's Your Heiress Diary. As Paris says in the last sentence of her introduction, "Life's an adventure, if you live it like an heiress." So true. So, so true.

If you'd like a copy for yourself, visit your local bookstore with $18 (plus tax!) and go to town! The book is a whole lot of pink with a picture of Oscar Wilde at his desk on the front. Kidding! Paris Hilton's on the cover, silly. She is clothed, however, so you may have trouble recognizing her at first. Or you can e-mail us, and we'll happily give you our copy, which is currently being used to swat cats.

What we've learned from today's book club reading is that Paris Hilton is either the simplest, shallowest woman on the planet, or she's one of the funniest, most satirically adept authors around. If we were forced to choose one, we'd choose neither. We think she's merely a mole for some colony of robots that's been controlling Earth since 146 B.C. How else can you explain her ability, now perfected in the upgraded Eva Longoria model, of being in 63 places at once? So, in summation, robots are controlling us, and there's nothing you can do about it except have another Red Bull.

We'll see you tomorrow, folkseses. Stay tuned for another edition of the NB Book Club soon. Or later. Sometime. Books!