Wel timed as well as there will be more that a few Scots needing a quiet lie down to recover later tonight. I'm having a wee dram myself at the moment although the haggis has to wait until Monday for when my friend gets here

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

I have no sound. But I sang along... Lucky to have the main PC up and working Bloody kids! We have wi-fi and they have their own contraptions so they dont feel the need for the PC working!!!! I only got it working tonight because I told the teen I would not drive her to the boyfriends if she didnt fix it!

RIng - ding - diddle - aye - diddle - aye - ohhhhhhhh......

Bit disappointed..... I waited and waited and that damn song only had a pic of a FLAG! Not a glimpse of blue ribbon!