1. And off to Italy We go!

Over the past few days, I have shed no tears. Inside, I am a bubbling mess over the news I was just given. I’m not sure how long it has been since I last hunted. But I know, deep inside, that it does not matter anymore. I have lost all reason for life. Only a while ago, my phone vibrated vigorously in my pants pocket. Then, I left it in a trash can in Rio as I got off the plane for the layover.

I can almost recall the exact shade of her pale, almost translucent skin. The same, delicious shade of red her face flushed when my fingertips made contact with her warm skin. Her heartbeat was distinct, and if I closed my eyes, I could remember the way it sped up whenever I kissed her.

Alice was right. It was the biggest mistake I had made in my life. But I didn’t completely regret my decision. It was the right thing to do, leaving her in Forks while I went away. It was the best decision, come to think of it, leaving her life forever. But was it the right decision for me? It didn’t matter now. Bella was dead. She jumped off a cliff only days ago.

I remember the feeling in my long, dormant heart when Rosalie delivered the crushing news to me. I was hunting in the forest in South America, trying my hand at tracking. The phone vibrated in my pocket. It was at my ear in moments. Then in the space of a few words, my life changed.

She was dead. Bella was gone. I would never see her again. But that was not the most painful part. It was that I never had the chance to tell her that I truly loved her, and nothing, nothing, nothing would ever change that. Not even if she grew old before my very eyes.

For a split second I wondered that maybe I should’ve changed Bella when we were in Phoenix. But it wouldn’t have been right. I shuddered all the thoughts out of my mind; I would not damn Bella to an eternity of night.

“Now boarding for flight 165 to Florence!” An overly cheerful woman said over the intercom. There was absolutely nothing cheerful about what I was about to do. Bella had been my reason for life.

I recalled the feeling in my stomach when I was frantically searching for Bella in that hot, Phoenix sun. It had only been a year ago. Carlisle had to warn me several times to stay out of the sun. I had almost wagered my existence when I ran too close to the edge of the shadows. I remember the relief I felt when I finally caught a strong source of her scent. Then, to my horror, the next thing I saw was Bella, curled up on the floor like a rag doll.

Jasper and Emmett pulled James off the love of my life. She was lying lifelessly. Carlisle rushed immediately to save her life in the precious few moments we had. Anger pulsed through me in ripples.

“We’ll take care of him.” Emmett promised, his muscular arms flexing to prove his point. I patted him on his shoulder, and then Jaspers. These two were like my brothers in more ways spiritual than physical. I glared at James.

He was grinning at me. “Her blood tasted ever so sweet…” He spat. I resisted the urge to kill him right there and then. Instead, I delivered one crushing blow to his face. A trickle of Bella’s blood flowed out, accompanied by James’ fresh flow of venom. Only a vampire could do that to his own kind. Jasper and Emmett dragged him outside to indeed, ‘take care’ of James.

I rushed forth to Bella. Carlisle warned me that she was badly injured.

A million thoughts rushed through my mind. Including one that was the most vibrant of them all. If I was to live without Bella, what would I do? Surely I would end my own life. And I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help. I had only one option. The Volturi.

The overly cheerful voice came over the intercom, once again announcing that passengers for my flight could board the plane now. I grabbed the small carry-on in my hand, and walked forward to force my destiny to come, many years too early.

Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty.