Misc:
A Teenager looking magazine [Would've originally been Neveah's... Her sister]
US Special Forces Medical Handbook ST 31-91B
Guide on Stitching Wounds [Given by Calandra]
Box of Sweets containing Jellybeans, Gummybears, Gummyworms, Chocolate etc [Gifted to her by Eddie]
A Red Plastic Ring given to her by Robbie

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."
Eleanor Roosevelt

If I could recall how I got here, I would tell you within a heartbeat. But sadly my brain doesn’t let me remember, and therefore I cannot tell you. If I could, this is what I would tell you…

My mother and father had realised that the family had been falling apart. My sister became a lot more distant, especially with her planning to move away to go to university. My father was always the head of decisions. Whatever he said would go, without argue. Instead of booking a trip to Disneyland, he saw the moment of having us hike across another country for family bonding. I didn’t want to go. My sister especially didn’t want to go. And my parents, they thought their plan was genius. It was supposed to be done for a month, ensuring that no matter how hard it got that we managed to get through it.

We were doing our daily occurrence, hiking along a dirt road until we got screamed at in a whole different language. My dad told me to raise my hands in the air before I felt a sharp small object poke in my back. A gun. The men who were holding us up had their faces covered. I couldn’t make out what they were saying or what they wanted us to do. We were led somewhere, and at this point my mother was weeping harder than I have ever seen her.

Locked up in a jail cell with my parents and sister, they all stood there. Debating how to get out of this. Maybe it being best to get someone who could pay them money, but that was a stupid idea. At one point my father began to negotiate with them until being hit around the jaw, losing a tooth. No matter what we did or said, we weren’t going anywhere. Every day we were given scraps of food and water enough to only allow myself and my sister to drink out of. We didn’t shower, that was a luxury that we weren’t allowed to experience. At the end I saw my father and mother lose their sanity little by little, and as the days passed, so did my sister and I.

Some days were harder than others, the men who had taken us and locked us in their prison would come to the door. Tweeting whistles at us before waving snacks at the small window we could see through the door before it disappearing into their mouths. We didn’t have the energy to argue, and to them, this was their entertainment.

It got to a point where we were dragged out by the hair of our head, if I was more wiser, I’d say the man who did made all this happen was the leader. He was angry and none of us knew why. He didn’t even think twice before taking a gun and blasting my mother right between the eyes. At that point, I couldn’t even think properly, I couldn’t breath. I lost all memento of what was going on. I closed my eyes and let the noise surround me disappear. Another loud shot... And another... And...

… I woke up. I didn’t know where I was. Clothes left on my body and the stench of body odour still lingering.

I tried to think back on everything and how I got there but everything was fuzzy and I didn’t know.

Did I live here?

What happened?

Did I get lost?

Why am I dirty?

Why does my head hurt?

Where is everyone?

Spoiler

Meika and her Dad (William Dellouise) having a nap after a long day of walking in Southport

Meika and her Mum (Carole Dellouise) in Tenerife Spain

Meika and her sister (Neveah Dellouise) baking cakes

Spoiler

* Blue got rid of the Teddybears that weren't important and kept the ones (highlighted in yellow) that were important. She was told she needs to grow up and having a load of teddybears is childish.

Being the problem or causing a problem which gets the people she loves, hurt.

The thought of someone close to her dying...

Liars / Bullies

Mr. White [Killed by Meika in self-defence]

Dissociative amnesia results from a psychological cause as opposed to direct damage to the brain caused by head injury, physical trauma or disease, which is known as organic amnesia. Dissociative amnesia can include:

Repressed memory is the inability to recall information, usually about stressful or traumatic events in persons' lives, such as a violent attack or disaster. The memory is stored in long-term memory, but access to it is impaired because of psychological defense mechanisms. Persons retain the capacity to learn new information and there may be some later partial or complete recovery of memory. Formerly known as "Psychogenic Amnesia".

Post-traumatic amnesia is generally due to a head injury (example: a fall, a knock on the head). Traumatic amnesia is often transient, but may be permanent or either anterograde, retrograde, or mixed type. The extent of the period covered by the amnesia is related to the degree of injury and may give an indication of the prognosis for recovery of other functions. The sufferer may also lose knowledge of who people are. Having longer periods of amnesia or consciousness after an injury may be an indication that recovery from remaining concussion symptoms will take much longer with assist of a psychologist.

Athazagoraphobia is the fear of being forgotten or ignored and fear of forgetting.

Spoiler

Colours in spoiler show definition of Meika's feelings:

Spoiler

Love

Very Close

Close/Trusted

Neutral

Not Trusted

Enemy

Slowly forgetting from amnesia

Forgotten

Hondo- Everyone would say Hondo was a bad person, and yet she took the risk of finding out herself. Eventually she found out he was a cold blooded murderer. But she couldn't comprehend being mad at him for too long. She admitted to seeing him as her father, even though he was so young. He wanted to make sure she was happy and safe. And the same related back to him from her. He is a reason she keeps so strong. He is part of her backbone. She will do anything and everything to maintain her dad's safety even if it killed her.

[Adopted by...]Aleksei- At the start, Aleksei was apparently a creepy man with bad intentions. But she connected to him, at first seeing him as an overprotective uncle. Eventually Aleksei became harsh and more corrupted; even though he never looked after a child, at least he tried. He was her other part of her backbone, and she would also do anything and everything to maintain his safety. He showed her how to stand up for herself and fight back, even against him. And though he tried to teach her not to create attachments, that was inevitable.

They are fathers to her. Even though she had her childish arguments, she loved them no matter much. And without them, she wouldn't want to be existing. Once Aleksei and Hondo disappear, so will she.

Robbie - Robbie is Meika's best friend. She wants to make sure he is happy, safe and warm. Even though she left without saying goodbye, it was never a goodbye to begin with because she was always going to return to him no matter what.

Sal - Even though he seems like the tough guy, Sal is a sweet guy. Even though he may lose his patience, she can have fun (even if it He has good intentions and a good heart, unlike many people.gets creepy). He wants to maintain she is mentally happy and safe. Even nick named him Salad and Scaparchibarchiballazarchi.

Kyle - Basically a big brother to her. He listens to her troubles when he sees them to maintain her safety.

Clyde- When I first met Clyde, I thought he was antisocial however I was soon told he had autism. I didn't know what it meant until someone explained but I tried my best to be there for him. Even though there are a few little incidents, he'll always be my friend. He says he doesn't want to be alone. He won't. He says he wants to be normal, I love him being the way he is.

Mr. Black- Black was one of Meika's first ever friends to create. Even though she barely sees him, he really cares about her and wants to make sure her health and safety comes first. He would rather sit in a room making sure she was OK than to worry about other people.

Fae - The Iced Coffee company showed their common interest which they called the 'company' called, Blae. She is sort of like a mum but Meika would never accept her like a mum. She has way too many children she looks after and she isn't keen on a mum she adopts to hop to different guys.

Red- Even though I don't see him as much as Hondo and Aleksei, he's very similar to them. He makes sure I'm occupied and shows me how to make things. I don't see any bad in him either. Everyone who tries to hurt them are liars! Red is like a teddybear compared to the bad people. They're jealous.

Nino
Moretti's People
Anarchy
Rose's people (and Dr. Phil)

Louie

Joey - Joey is now known to be untrustworthy due to his insanity. Reasons of his insanity? Unknown. But Meika must be cautious especially when she realised he hangs around with cannibals and threatened her. She must be prepared to put a bullet in his head. Instead of shooting four times into him like she did with Casey. Get rid of the problem she seemed to of started... When Meika had another round of memory loss, she forgot Joey. But soon learned why he was a hated man.

Skye - At first Skye was alright, she made Desmond happy and that's all she cared about. It wasn't until Desmond got into problems with her and he disappeared. She somehow got Robbie to be beaten for her and a few days later beat a man for talking about Desmond. Meika sees her as an irresponsible adult and none-suitable role model. If Skye died, it'd be another less problem in the world. And one she wouldn't have to worry about over her family getting hurt. When Meika gained memory loss, Skye laughed and ran off when Meika pretend to talk to Hondo. A reminder why she didn't like Skye beforehand.

[Killed by Meika] Mr. White- Mr. White at first seemed like a innocent man just trying to make his way through every day. But he became overly attached to Meika, also known as Blue, and it began to become very indifferent than a father x daughter relationship. Mr. White twisted her words, made her seem like she was something she wasn't and in a way twisted her mind with pain and vulnerability. From this, Meika HATES Mr. White and hopes he ends up in the position of her parents. Dead. At least one wish came true.

Short Term

Come up with a name to use whilst trying to find out real name

Make at least 5 friends [5/5]

Find a bag of Haribos [Achieved]

Learn how to shoot a bow and arrows properly [Achieved]

Get a crossbow [Achieved]

Get bolts for her cross bow [Achieved]

Become useful... - Learning Medical [Achieved]

Long Term

Find a home [Achieved]

Make sure Hondo is happy and safe [Unknown...]

Make sure Aleksei is happy and safe [Unknown...]

Keep Aleksei proud [Achieving]

Don't make Hondo cry again... [Failed]

Become strong and face her fears [GUNS |ARGUMENTS] [Achieved]

Make sure nothing extremely bad happens to the people close to her [Failed]

Support Hondo and put him first before herself [Achieving]

Let Aleksei realise he has a family whether he likes it or not [Achieved]

Killing yourself makes the problem - so don't do it! [Achieving...]

Don't attempt or commit suicide [Achieving]

Do not self harm [Achieving]

Keep the ones she loved safe - and if all that doesn't work, find the person who hurt them to suffer the repercussions [Achieving]

Look after Aleksei's goats whilst Aleksei is missing... [Achieving]

Find Aleksei... again [Failing]

Event Goals

Find out her real name / identity [Achieved...]

Learn how she got in Chernarus in the first place [Achieved]

Find out where she is from... (Country) [Achieved]

Find out what happened to her friends [or family...] [Achieved] and locate them [Failed]

Conquer the fog that blurs her memory... [Failing]

Keep her promise to Hondo (Not to become a child soldier) but learn how to use self defence with guns [Achieved]

Become strong against her memory tapes - Look at fear in the face! [Failing]

Find Aleksei [Achieved]

Hide the developing PTSD caused by reoccuring dreams of Casey hurting her [Achieving]

Stop seeing Casey in her dreams [Achieved]

Kill the person(s) who murdered her family [Failing]

Kill the person she is convinced murdered her family (Mr. White) [Achieved]

Overcome being the problem [Achieving]

Join Hondo, Aleksei and her family when they're all gone from the world or just her family when she loses Hondo and Aleksei [Achieiving]

Keep promise to Robbie not to leave when Hondo and Aleksei - for the sake of Robbie not getting hurt anymore... [Forgotten Promise Due To Amnesia]

A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.

Gunshots - The sounds of loud gun noises will cause Meika to curl into a tight ball such as like an armadillo. She will not know why but it is due to the fact of the memory tape of noise when she heard her mother be shot in the head. Therefore, Meika will not want to hold guns or hear them without panicking, looking disgusted or ending up on the verge of tears. [Conquered]

Violent arguments / Angry yelling - Another memory tape that Blue doesn't understand but will make her tense up. This is from her mother and father arguing about everything when the family was falling apart. [Conquering...]

Drunk male figures - A memory tape that Blue cannot recall. From the fact the captors sometimes got drunk and would taunt her and her family with guns. Sometimes shooting besides them, just to frighten them into obeying. [Conquered]

Injured beloved ones / death of loved ones - Unknown to Meika, she develops a clingyness when she believes or thinks her family may pass away. Why? Since witnessing the death of her mother and other family members in front of her. She collects emotion of how she felt that day. It's unpleasant and makes her cry. She doesn't know why properly but she has a good idea on it. [Failing..]

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Anarchy - They can be a bit weird... Like Boris and Vaseline but they like to have fun. Sometimes they do adult things which I'm not allowed to hear or watch but they're nice! They get rid of the bad guys! I think they're police or army men in disguise... Because they make the world a better place.

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This looks like it could be interesting. Kids are always iffy for me, but you seem to have done your homework. Looking forward to seeing you in-game, hopefully.

It was (and is!) interesting! You and Robbie are damn good at what you do, roleplaying kids in a fucked up world, surrounded by fucked up individuals, and I'm always looking forward to seeing you in-game. Great work!

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It was (and is!) interesting! You and Robbie are damn good at what you do, roleplaying kids in a fucked up world, surrounded by fucked up individuals, and I'm always looking forward to seeing you in-game. Great work!

Some people think Meika is a child soldier. It's more so the fact that she knows her real family aren't alive and the ones she adopted, she will do anything for. And if that means protecting them, she will. She comes across as very blunt / cold /sarcastic but it's a defensive mechanism instead of her crying. She tries to think things logically but tends to lack some common sense in some areas due to her amnesia. She accepts that when Hondo and Aleksei go, she truely has no one else that she has a bond with apart from Robbie but that'll only get him hurt. Meaning when they die, she will take the gun and pull the trigger instead of dying in the hands of someone else for their personal gain.