Welcome

Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the
symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ pages, including our "HIV Transmission and Risks" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" basics, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author
Topic: Need Reasure before test (Read 9165 times)

Ive posted here before, probably sometime around march (username was: anxietysucks), It seems like the account is inactive and I cant find my old post.Anyway, Im the one that got scared from touching a transexuals penis in amsterdam (paid in redlight district).

He did not cum, and he barely got hard through this incident. I was just curious what someones penis felt like (aside from my own)

His penis felt kind of moist (not wet) but I didnt make anything of it (could have been semen, lube, moisture from the last condom he wore or anything else). I was afraid of cuts and a blister on my hand, and a broken sore on my hand that wasnt bleeding (no scab, just a really small piece of skin missing in middle of the hand), i remember rubbing my eye hard when I walked out... Anyway you all really calmed me down and I moved on from it....

Then exactly 3 weeks later the lymph node under my right jaw was tender and hurting, had the shivers and diahrea for a week. I also had some weird feelings in my groin area and near my armpit (it was between my armpit and nipple).I did have a badly impacted wisdom tooth on my right side (it was really deep). I asked the dentist if the lymph would get tender like that and slightly swell from an impacted tooth (you couldnt see the lymph node, but when you felt it, it was slightly bigger that the one on the other side. His answer was that it can swell from any infection. He put me on antibiotics and it stopped hurting after 2 days.

Why, exactly 3 weeks from the incident does that have to happen to me. I havent had sex for over a year (since my last hiv test) due to my fear of hiv. I figured I can wait for marriage for that. So I just got alittle curious while I was strolling down the redlight area and did this with the tranny. I cant even bring myself to get tested for this.

Can you reccomend a place I can talk to someone about my fear.. I think about it everyday, at work, at home, in the car.. I just cant relax cause I think I got infected.

Its like I know that its such a longshot, but i'm having a such hard time convincing myself.

BTW. Had these symptoms not show up, I never would have thought about that incident again.

There is absolutely no risk for HIV transmission from what you describe. Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread to learn how HIV is and is not transmitted. Symptoms mean nothing when it comes to diagnosing HIV.

That said, sexually active people should have a full STD screen at least twice a year. A full STD screen includes an HIV antibody test. If it's been a while since you had a full screen or if you've never had one before perhaps you should consider making an appointment to do so with your doctor or local clinic.

Oh yah! Im also going to assume that this is a very very very high risk person. I think thats a big part of my fear. I am a very responsible person. I take alot of risks in life, but not with my health.

'm not sexually active cause of this hiv fear of mine! I havent had sex in over a year since my last hiv test (waiting for marriage

Im just scared about the incident above.

Yes I read that. You don't need to test nor worry about HIV/AIDS from the tranny dick incident. If you've been sexually active in the past however and haven't been screened for other STD's you might want to consider being tested for them before you get married. Conditions like chlamydia and gonorrhoea are much more prevalent and contagious than HIV.

Please note that I'm not suggesting you should worry about other STD's just that you should consider getting screened if you haven't been.

Oh yah! Im also going to assume that this is a very very very high risk person.

I'm going to overlook the nasty value judgement in this last comment this time. There was no HIV risk from the dick touching episode, even if the person in question was HIV positive. You don't need to worry.

I'm going to overlook the nasty value judgement in this last comment this time. There was no HIV risk from the dick touching episode, even if the person in question was HIV positive. You don't need to worry.

Am I wrong to assume that a transexual sex worker is a high risk? Is that really a nasty value judgement?. Sorry if I affended you or anyone else here with that comment.

Im just going through an anxiety period with this incident and I found this to be a good place to calm me down. I know that 10 web pages on any site is not as informative as 2 lines of info from this site. Its all the other sites that get me worked up.....

It bothers me soo much that every site you go to says: mutual masturbation is a low/no risk... EXCEPT if you have cuts or bruises and so on. I had a blister that was popped a few days before (baseball and guitar playing), it was red but there was no blood but the outer skin layer was gone. and I was stroking his penis that may have had cum left on it (from sex with a previous client). So does that make it some risk or is that still only a risk in theory but just doesnt happen, or is that still zero risk at all?

Again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I as well as most everyone who posts on this site really appreciate all you do.. I know it can be fustrating dealing with fools like myself and i'm sorry for that as well.Just a suggesion, is there anyway you can add a piece about mutual masterbation in the welcome thread???

You need to know that PEOPLE are not risky. It's not WHO you do, it's WHAT you do that may or may not be risky. Thinking some people are "risky" and others are not is risky thinking. You need to assume ANYONE you have intercourse with is hiv positive and use condoms.

You did NOT have a risk of hiv infection. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and successful transmission occurs INSIDE the human body as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

While you do NOT need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You did NOT have a risk of hiv infection in anything you have brought to this forum. Please read through the Welcome Thread for further transmission information.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I am more concerned now that you are insistent on me getting tested. This is the only sexual activity I had since my last test which was for all STD's/HIV.... Given that info, is this incident something that requires an hiv or std test or both?

If you've recently had your routine, annual sexual health care check up, then you don't need to test again so soon. You didn't have a risk in what you have brought to the forum and you don't need to test because of it.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I had a full test about 9 months ago. I havent engaged in any sexual activity aside from the one I mentioned since my last test. I am staring at the home access test but I cant bring myself to do it, I know if I do it and get back a negative result I will be sooooo relieved. Im just scared it wont be negative!!!!!!

Im just curious about ARS symptoms, when a lymph node swells is it usually noticeable, like a bump? Is the lymph node under the jaw one of the lymph nodes that would swell? Is it usually more than one lymph node that would swell?

I know that chances are my node got tender are because of my badly impacted wisdom tooth, but its just that exactly 3 weeks to the day of this incident is when the tenderness began. I also had the chills and diaghrea.

I had a full test about 9 months ago. I havent engaged in any sexual activity aside from the one I mentioned since my last test. I am staring at the home access test but I cant bring myself to do it, I know if I do it and get back a negative result I will be sooooo relieved. Im just scared it wont be negative!!!!!!

Im just curious about ARS symptoms, when a lymph node swells is it usually noticeable, like a bump? Is the lymph node under the jaw one of the lymph nodes that would swell? Is it usually more than one lymph node that would swell?

I know that chances are my node got tender are because of my badly impacted wisdom tooth, but its just that exactly 3 weeks to the day of this incident is when the tenderness began. I also had the chills and diaghrea.

Shiver

Stop worrying about ARS symptoms. 1) They are completely useless in determining someone's HIV status 2) Someone in your current state of mind will examine your body countless times per day and discover all sorts of things that you will be sure are consistent with ARS - when in actuality they are all in your head and only mainfest physically because of the stress and anxiety of your situation. IE) Diarrhea and stomach pains are very easily brought about by stress and anxiety, enlarged lymph nodes of the gland can easily occur when someone inexperienced in medicine constantly pokes and prods about their neck.

You had absolutley no risk of getting HIV from this situation you describe. In fact you didn't even have a risk of getting any of the other, far more infectious STDs from this encounter. Touching someone's genitals with your hand is not a "risky behavior." Its not been that long since doctors would perform the "turn and cough" with their bare hands

If you need to take the Home Access test to relieve your severe anxiety than go ahead and do it. We'll be here waiting for you to report back that we were all right and you were unnecessarily worried. Make sure you read the lessons on this site, so that you know the real ways HIV is spread.

1) Even though this wasnt the case, lets say someone (hiv+) cums on anothers hand during mutual masterbation and you had nicks and what not on your hand, would that be a risk?

2) (Please dont laugh) since this was the first penis I touched aside from my own, I was curious, do all penises feel sort of moist (not wet) sort of warm and moist?

3) Is the lymph node under the jaw one to get tender and swell alittle with ARS. (they say the neck, armpit and groin) have you ever heard of the node under the jaw to swell?

I am so strung up about this incident I just cant let it go...... even when I tell myself that it was imposible to get hiv like this I still cant shake it off..... Anxiety is really getting the best of me. I even started drinking again. I cant stop thinking that when I was stroking his penis that he had semen on it which got into my popped blister (not bleedin, just broken skin).

You had no risk what so ever. So he had a warm penis, that's nice, it just means he wasn't dead. Have I ever heard of a node to swell under the jaw? Of course, there are many things that can cause nodes to swell. First of all keep your fingers off them and see your doctor because the swelling doesn't have anything to do with HIV.

3) you have lymph nodes on SEVERAL places in your body, from armpit to jaw to groin. In ARS, typically they all swell at the same time and at the same rate. HIV is, after all, a systemic situation.

Sorry you are strung up about this incident, and that the scientific data has failed to help you. I submit that you might want to spend a little time and figure out what the real deal is... why such a non risk situation caused such anxiety. Might even do you some good to talk it through with a professional at some point. Sexual intimacy should not be fraught with fear.

I can tell you are trying hard to shake off the anxiety. However, it has been my experience that rational thought is of limited use against an irrational fear. This isn't about learning more, it's about accepting yourself. Until then, no amount of science will bring you peace.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

So ive been on this board before a few times asking what considered to be low/no risk questions. Ive only had one case of unprotected sex which was when a condom broke when I ejaculated (about 2 months ago). Its been 2 years now that instead of just getting tested I worried. When I say worried, I mean that I wouldnt even get into any type of relationship with anyone due to my reasoning of why I might be infected. Not a day went by for the last 2 years that I didnt think that I might be infected. Havent really relaxed once cause everytime I just want to sit back and relax it would cross my mind and take over.

I finally grabbed my nuts and went for a full std/hiv test on thursday. Results should be in tomorrow. I am scared out of my mind, but I feel like its about time I do this so I can move on with my life whether im infected or not.

Do most people feel the way i do waiting for test results... This is retarted... I had protected sex a few eeks ago and now im starting to think stupid things.

Im just gonna keep on assuming that the tender node under jaw (got iritated again yesterday out of nowhere) stuffiness, nausea, sweating, fatigue, etc etc etc. is a combination of the antibiotics im taking for sore throat and anxiety/stress about the hiv/std testing....

On the bright side my node under my jaw got iritated again, Im gonna assume now that since its always the same node that gets iritated its most likely a problem of its own and not hiv related.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I hear you annAs you can tell from my posts that im no different. I get so worried about it that I sometimes wonder why i have sex at all. I think if this test comes back negative im really gonna try to refrain from having sex till im married, just cause its not worth the agrivation and anxiety that i put myself through after.. Without fail my mind starts to run even if we dont have sex and just fool around. I start putting my own spin on all the what-ifs..

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Have you and your partner ever dealt with a broken condom, during this relationship?

Since I had a condom break, i just dont think i can ever be 100% that it wont happen again. And should it happen again and I have to go through the same thing im going through now and the same thing I went through 2 years ago is just not worth it...

Im a 28 year old male, had my fun, maybe this is just some incentive to settle down and move on with my life anyway.

Still anxiously waiting for the results... Been a rough few days. Doc says he should have it by 1pm tomorrow

No, we've never had one break because we make sure we use them correctly. It's rare in the extreme for a correctly used condom to break. However, we were together and not using condoms for a year and a half before we discovered my hiv status. I don't recommend doing this however - we were lucky. We use condoms now, every single time.

I've yet to see a man end up positive after a condom break with a woman. I don't expect you to be the first.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

The only hiccup along the way was I received an unprotected BJ during a massage from a person of unknown status in november. Back then i wasnt really concerned cause as far as every risk chart went thay all said giving and receiving is not an hiv risk, over the last few months giving suddenly became an unknown/very low risk, whats to say that surveys wont show the same for the receptive sooner or later.

Its been on my mind since, here and there but lately the anxiety really kicked in (seriously). Not symptom searching nor have i gotten any symptoms in the year to even make me think that way. My anxiety is strictly on the risk. Lost 15 pounds in the last week and a half and now its on my head all darn day, so I figured the only way to get by this fear is by testing. So I have a rapid test set up for wednesday. Dont know how ill make it till then, could really use some reasurance..

As a curiosity, what the difference between insertive anal and insertive oral, whats in the ass that can infect someone thats not in the mouth?

There's a world of risk difference between insertive anal and insertive anal. Being the unprotected insertive anal partner is risky, albeit not as risky as the receptive unprotected partner.

Insertive oral sex -- the partner who is being sucked -- is absolutely not a risk for transmission. In the entire history of the epidemic there has never been a confirmed case of transmission in that manner. It's safe to say you aren't going to make history by becoming the first. If that has been your only so-called risk, then your testing negative is a slam dunk.

Whatever is causing your weight loss or any other symptoms has nothing to do with HIV. Go ahead and test if you wish for your peace of mind, but what you really need to do is to discuss your concerns with your doctor to find out the real cause. It's not HIV.

There's a world of risk difference between insertive anal and insertive anal. Being the unprotected insertive anal partner is risky, albeit not as risky as the receptive unprotected partner.

sorry andy didnt understand the reply as to the difference..

Oh, the weight loss is strictly anxiety (zero appetite) and I know it nothing to do with symptoms related to hiv.

Theres no question im a case of someone thats seen too much info or Mis-info and seems like the word hiv is everywhere I turn and the anxiety it has given me has stopped me from having sex. Ive only had prtected vaginal intercourse twice in the last 3 years otherwise its been strictly handjobs out of fear.

Still worried, i know its gonna be a rough time till i see the results.

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Over the last 3 years ive learned alot about the virus, the realities, the facts, the theory's and all. This site provided the best insight of all the millions of pages on the net. This s all do to Anne, Andy, Rapid, and the rest of the team. You all do something very special here as far as education goes. What you see and read on this site are facts not science theory, I had to learn this the hard way by worrying myself over non-risk incidents and the team here was always dead on with the truth. Ive wasted 3 years of my life worrying and im not gonna let it worry me anymore.

I dont know if this site needs donations to help keep it running but id be glad to help if needed. You were all there in my time of need, it would be my pleasure to return the favor.. You can email me if theres anything I can help out with..