God I wish I had a camera during my backroom PC tech days at my first IT job. I saw shit that I thought wasn't possible:

Cat urine on a new $2k Toshiba laptop,
15+ year old pepperoni bits in a resturant POS computer
Breakfast grease that smelled like maple syrup all over a PSU and CPU fan from a breakfast joint
A USB cable shoved into a NIC port
Pastachio nuts inside an HP laser print
Spider webs with dead cockroaches in a kids gaming computer
Lots of self nude pics/vids from webcams right on the desktop
CRAP loads of nasty smelling PC's from smokers houses with the dirt/dust mixed with smoking tar stuck to EVERYTHING inside the case
What really looked like pubic hair stuck in a mouse ball from a dirty looking old man who wanted his porn to load faster
Dust bunnies so thick from being under a desk that it literally jammed the CD ROM tray into place
A huge wad of blonde air inhaled into the blower fan from an HP laptop that had "heat issues"