Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Rebound

Yesterday morning I had a presentation at the Police Academy. It had been a while sense I had given a presentation and with the amount of stress and sadness I've had in the past three weeks I was worried that I wouldn't be able to present in a good manner like I used to. I was wrong.

The way I have been feeling in the recent past has been identical to how I felt right as I started writing. Originally, I was angry about this for, how could I regress like this? I thought I was on top of my life and would never feel like that again.

These thoughts of anger towards myself was fueling the feelings of sadness. I felt as if I was letting myself down, but then I had my presentation and my energy level returned. This sluggishness I have described the past two weeks vanished. I stood in front of the room, stated who I am and my position, and the following 50 minutes was a spectacular display of presenting.

So, what happened? I believe it is exactly what I was angry at myself that fuels what I do. It was these emotions, these unfiltered amplified emotions, that started my writings. Before I started writing I didn't communicate my emotions, or world for that matter. I was a silent ship on a stormy sea asking for no direction or help. After I started writing I began the process of expressing myself, but it all started from these deep emotions.

With that being so, yesterday morning, I experienced this surge of energy. Without a doubt I once again harnessed the emotions to my advantage. What I feared and disliked about my emotions is exactly how I got to this point.

After my presentation I drove to Indianapolis as the USAC .25 Little Hoosier 100 is this weekend in Lakeville, Indiana. On my drive I thought long about that energy I experienced and I must say I realized that it felt as if that was the first time I was truly awake for several weeks. I can say it feel amazing, but on my drive I realized that I am lucky; I am lucky that I can use these emotions to do what I do. Whereas before the emotions consumed me and overwhelmed me I am able to use that to express myself.

As I pulled into the USAC offices my mission once again was renewed. Not everyone is going to be able to express themselves. However, I am sure others are or will be in that same state I was. I can say it is a lonely feeling, that of being a ship on a stormy, isolated sea afraid of asking for help, but maybe I can help in a way. I don't think I can unlock that which will allow a person like myself to express them self, but if I can describe what it is like by spoken words and words that are typed either on here or my blog, then everything was worth it.

I may get times when I am down, but it won't get me down long term. As odd as this sounds, I need to feel like this from time to time. My ability to tackle this mission began in the depths of feeling bad and each time I go back there I always seem to come up with a tremendous rebound.

Right now, as I write this, I still feel a little down but I am okay with this. Today I have a full schedule of flagging fun as practice is today with the heat races tomorrow. I will be in my heaven on Earth as nothing beats a race track. Will this recharge me? Quite possibly, but if it doesn't that is okay. The seas may be choppy and the proverbial weather might be bad, but I have learned I always come through stronger and more motivated than before.

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Who I Am

Hello, my name is Aaron Likens and thanks for visiting my blog. I am the Autism Ambassador for Easter Seals Midwest and also the author of the book "Finding Kansas. My passion in life is to raise the awareness and understanding of the autism spectrum through this blog as well as the many presentations I give. For myself, as much as it is a passion, it is personal because I was given the diagnosis of Asperger's when I was 20. Back then there wasn't much info and I fell into a pit of despair. I stayed there for 15 months but then I eventually discovered myself through writing and now here I am and here you are on my blog. There are well over 1,000 posts on this blog as I started blogging in March of 2010. So whether you're reading today's blog, or are skimming through stories of the past, I hope that your time here gives you a better glimps of what living life on the autism spectrum, or, "other side of the wall" is like. If you do like what you see please follow me on Facebook as that's where I share when I've written a new blog as well as announcing where I will be presenting. Please note that the opinions expressed on this blog are mine and may not be reflective of Easter Seals Midwest.

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The Aspie Traveler

The Aspie Traveler: Tokyo

Finding Kansas Revisited

To mark 10 years since I started writing my book I did a blog series with my thoughts from today on what I wrote then. This was the first time I ever read anything I had ever written.

The Sunglasses Experiment

I ran a sunglasses experiment to judge why eye contact is so difficult. I wore them for about 15 days, then I switched back to my normal glasses to see how big of a difference there was. By clicking my picture you can be taken to the page that has the complete experiement all in one place.

About Me

I am the Autism Ambassador for Easter Seals Midwest and also the author of Finding Kansas: Living and Decoding Asperger's Syndrome. My passion in life is raising awareness of Autism Spectrum Disorders and to help the world understand how the mind of a person on the spectrum works. I can do this because I am on the spectrum (Asperger's).
I was diagnosed at the age of 20 and after the diagnosis a lot of my quirks made sense. I didn't understand who I was though and went into a deep depression. Through this depression though I became very keen on my inner self and I started to write. I wrote and I wrote and before I knew it I wrote a book.
5 years later I am, among other things, giving presentations to police, teachers, and parents and am now starting my quest on making the best blog possible!
The views on this blog are mine and may not be reflective of Touch Point Autism Services.
If you have any questions, or comments, or have an article idea please email me at aaron.likens@yahoo.com.