The Mary Sue » online datinghttp://www.themarysue.com
The Nexus of Pop Culture and the Uncharted UniverseTue, 03 Mar 2015 18:51:09 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=2015.10Introducing Duo: The App for Matching Superheros With Sidekicks - With bonus Carrie Kelley cameo!http://www.themarysue.com/duo-dating-app-sketch/
http://www.themarysue.com/duo-dating-app-sketch/#commentsWed, 07 Jan 2015 19:06:26 +0000http://www.themarysue.com/?p=273744wants to find their ideal crimefighting partner through a mutual friend or at a social gathering, but who has the time to go out and punch villains with new people anymore? Dr. Hank Tannen (who may or may not be Wil Wheaton) doesn't, which is why he invented this new dating app. Wait, no. Not dating. It's not for dating. Don't date your sidekicks. [Warning for autoplay!]]]>

Oh, sure, everybody wants to find their ideal crimefighting partner through a mutual friend or at a social gathering, but who has the time to go out and punch villains with new people anymore? Dr. Hank Tannen (who may or may not be Wil Wheaton) doesn’t, which is why he invented this new dating app. Wait, no. Not dating. It’s not for dating. Don’t date your sidekicks.

France has given the world Champagne, Edith Piaf, and the Eiffel Tower, but the country’s most significant contribution to romance yet may be trouverlebontaureau.com (which translates to “find the right bull” ), a site developed by French farmer Sylvain Frobert to help “demanding cows” find their better half.

Breeders like Frobert use trouverlebontaureau to find boo(vine)s with specific genetic qualities to improve their herd, but according to Phys.org’s translations, the site still reads like many online dating forums for humans:

What about Cyrano, a Charolais bull who boasts a “breathtaking body”? But there is also Arlequin, a Blonde d’Aquitaine—a breed from southwestern France—who despite his rural upbringing has a “Parisian elegance”.

The cream-coloured bull Euskadi is targeting “females who live for blondes”, while Braise boasts an “exceptional rump”.

Trouverlebontaureau is expected to expand soon to England, Spain, Italy and China, so sorry American cows, you’ll have to do without your very own version of beef Tinder-loin. Good luck with the old-fashioned “exceptional rump” hunt.

]]>http://www.themarysue.com/cow-tinder/feed/0Upper West Side Manhattanites Fear City Being Overrun By “Internet People” - In other news, old man yells at cloud.http://www.themarysue.com/upper-west-side-internet-people/
http://www.themarysue.com/upper-west-side-internet-people/#commentsFri, 03 Oct 2014 19:28:58 +0000http://www.themarysue.com/?p=249534Youths. Especially youths who can suspend their cynicism long enough to search for love on the Internet. ]]>

You know what really gets my goat? Youths. Especially youths who can suspend their cynicism long enough to search for love on the Internet. Gah, and then they have the gall to meet other like-minded individuals out in public and attempt to enrich each other’s lives by forging a bond of mutual respect? Get off my lawn, you rabble!

While those aren’t direct quotes from the recent real-life Upper West Side fuddy-duddy summit, in which residents complained about people using local businesses to conduct dates with potential partners they met via online dating, they’re remarkably close. Here are some excerpts from DNA New York‘s coverage of a hilariously crotchety community board meeting in which Upper West Side residents met to voice their concerns about the “Internet people” that might congregate if local bar Riposo 72 began serving drinks in its outdoor seating area:

“I have seen people say, ‘I met you on the internet,’ and you’re putting that on the sidewalk?” said one resident Al Salsano incredulously. “I don’t want children walking near ‘internet people’ meeting.”

[...] “Have you ever gone to any of the sidewalk cafes in this neighborhood? Do you find them all rowdy and people staggering out of them all the time?” asked board member George Zeppenfeldt-Cestero. Resident Chris Horwitz retorted that he wouldn’t know because, “I don’t go out to meet people I found on the internet.”

Chris, keep your stupid comments in your pocket where they belong. And Al, Internet People are just trying to forge a connection of some kind with another living creature in this godforsaken city. I imagine it can’t help to have the self-appointed public decency police loitering within earshot. That being said, we all know that meeting people leads to talking and talking leads to, um, more talking and, you know, in the words of one concerned resident: “Once you have a cafe serving drinks on the street, then you have a precedent.” AND THEN YOU GOT TROUBLE! TROUBLE IN RIVER CITY! WITH A CAPITAL T AND THAT RHYMES WITH P AND THAT STANDS FOR PLEASE NO INTERNET PEOPLE, THANKS!

As Jezebel excellently points out, all this Ye Olde pearl-clutching is particularly hilarious considering You’ve Got Mail was shot at a cafe in the Upper West Side. So yeah, how dare people bring money to local businesses by engaging in a time-proven courting ritual popularized by the very neighborhood that now despises it?

Go complain about D’agostinos being too cold or something, Jedi Council of the Upper West Side. You are one Tom Hanks shy of credibility.

]]>http://www.themarysue.com/upper-west-side-internet-people/feed/0Study: Dating Services’ “Scientific” Matching Systems Are Total Bunkhttp://www.themarysue.com/online-dating-science-study/
http://www.themarysue.com/online-dating-science-study/#commentsMon, 06 Feb 2012 20:43:45 +0000http://www.geekosystem.com/?p=88350Most online dating sites like to try to give themselves a somewhat scientific, methodical veneer. However, a recent study concluded that dating sites as they currently exist are not scientific in the least bit. In fact, the study found that none adhered to any scientific methodology, and that their practices were flawed in principle and well as execution. Does this mean I need to stop obsessively checking OkCupid on my phone?]]>

Most online dating sites like to try to give themselves a somewhat scientific, methodical veneer. However, a recent study concluded that dating sites as they currently exist are not scientific in the least bit. In fact, the study found that none adhered to any scientific methodology, and that their practices were flawed in principle and well as execution. Does this mean I need to stop obsessively checking OkCupid on my phone?

Now, before we go further, it’s important to note that the study does not evaluate whether or not online dating works. In fact, the study’s lead author Eli Finkel from Northwestern University is quoted by Eureka Alert as saying quite the opposite: “online dating is a marvelous addition to the ways in which singles can meet potential romantic partners.”

What’s at issue are the claims of sites which purport to use algorithmic, or scientific, matching systems. Most of these systems apparently rely on users self-reported answers to questions, or matching of key phrases. If you put on your profile that you like spear fishing and translating Linear A into Esperanto, dating services try to pair you with people who profess to the same interests.

How they do this is usually proprietary and kept secret. After all, the matching systems are generally all the dating services can claim as their own, unique property. Given this fact, Finkel and his team likely did not have access to matching systems and probably carried out their study by observing various dating sites. More information about the study should be available when it is printed inPsychological Science in the Public Interest.

The proprietary nature of the matching services sometimes leads companies to charge for their services. From their viewpoint, they are giving users access to their invention. Finkel’s study would seem to fly in the face of this notion, claiming that the systems are not actually doing anything.

However, it’s not just the implementation of these matching systems that Finkel objects to. He’s quoted as saying:

If dating sites want to claim that their matching algorithm is scientifically valid, they need to adhere to the standards of science, which is something they have uniformly failed to do. In fact, our report concludes that it is unlikely that their algorithms can work, even in principle, given the limitations of the sorts of matching procedures that these sites use.

In Finkel’s view, most matching services not only un-scientific, they ignore the characteristics that actually have been shown to make a “good match.” For instance, relationship scientists place emphasis on how people handle stressful situations — something Finkel says cannot be assessed by any current dating service.

This raises the question of whether or not online dating has any value, which I would argue that it does — but only if the users are willing to do the same work they would during an in-person encounter. At their core, dating sites are simply another place where everyone is ostensibly expecting the same thing. In a bar, it’s nerve wracking to try and connect with someone because its possible he or she isn’t interested in doing so. Dating websites lower that barrier somewhat, and while the information they gather may not be useful for assigning a match, it does allow people to learn something about each other without having to engage directly.

If anything, Finkel’s study is a reminder to take easy fixes with a grain of salt. Dating services don’t have cupid’s arrows at their disposal, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make them work for you.

]]>http://www.themarysue.com/online-dating-science-study/feed/3Gay Hookup App Grindr Hacked, User Information Posted Onlinehttp://www.themarysue.com/grindr-blendr-hacked/
http://www.themarysue.com/grindr-blendr-hacked/#commentsSat, 21 Jan 2012 19:00:01 +0000http://www.geekosystem.com/?p=86925
The location-aware all-male dating service Grindr seems to have been the target of a major cyber attack, taking advantage of flaws in the mobile app's security. An as-yet unidentified hacker was able to use these flaws to access the service's user accounts, and posted account information online. Though the attack primarily targeted the Australian users, it took advantage of flaws which affect all users and users of the heterosexual targeted version of the service called Blendr.]]>

The location-aware all-male dating service Grindr has been the target of a major cyber attack, taking advantage of flaws in the mobile app’s security. An as-yet unidentified hacker was able to use these flaws to access the service’s user accounts, and posted account information online. Though the attack primarily targeted the Australian users, it took advantage of flaws which affect all users and users of the heterosexual targeted version of the service called Blendr.

At one point, according to sources who saw the website before it was taken down, it listed users’ Grindr pseudonyms, passwords, their personal favourites (bookmarked friends) and allowed them to be impersonated, and thus have messages sent and received without their knowledge. At one point, the website also allowed users’ profile pictures to be replaced.

Several Australian users have reported that their user accounts were accessed and profile pictures were changed to obscene images. Despite the intrusion, Grindr says that information such as addresses, chat logs, and credit card information are not retained by the service and therefore not accessible during the attack.

Grindr acknowledged the security issue in a blog post yesterday, but declined to go into detail. “Like other responsible companies,” wrote CEO Joel Simkhai, “we don’t comment on specifics of security enhancements or allegations about network issues.” Simkhai does say that a website that violated the company’s terms of service was taken down through legal action, and that a mandatory security patch is coming soon. Simkhai didn’t mention it, but concerned users can follow these steps to delete their Grindr accounts.

To access accounts, the hacker was able to duplicate the string of numbers — or “hash” — that the service used to identify users. In their reporting, the Sydney Morning Herald contacted a security specialist who was able to duplicate the intrusion. It seems that security was light in the current version of the apps, but the unnamed expert concluded that securing the service should not be difficult.

Hopefully both the Grindr and Blendr services can be locked down before more damage is done.

]]>http://www.themarysue.com/grindr-blendr-hacked/feed/1JDate Sues OKCupid, Zoosk, and 2RedBeans Dating Siteshttp://www.themarysue.com/jdate-sues-dating-sites/
http://www.themarysue.com/jdate-sues-dating-sites/#commentsSat, 12 Mar 2011 17:00:43 +0000http://www.geekosystem.com/?p=54643The popular Jewish dating site JDate has taken aim at other online dating services over what it calls an infringement on patented technology. JDate claims that OKCupid, Zoosk, and newcomer 2RedBeans all use technology to secretly determine mutual attraction between users which JDate claims is their exclusive territory.
The patent in question, number 5,950,200, is called the "Method and Apparatus for Detection Of Reciprocal Interests or Feelings And Subsequent Notification." On OKCupid, the issue is with the "Quick Match" system, where users can see and rate other users. If two users happen to give each other high ratings, which happens without the other's knowledge, they are informed via email. The idea is to inform two people of, if not mutual attraction, than at least mutually awarding arbitrary stars to each other.
The timing of JDate's suit is a little odd, especially considering that OKCupid and Zoost are fairly well established. Perhaps if these sites had a method, or apparatus, for the detection of reciprocal interests they would have realized how much in common they really have and wouldn't have to fight like this. If only!
(via Techcrunch)]]>The popular Jewish dating site JDate has taken aim at other online dating services over what it calls an infringement on patented technology. The suit asserts that OKCupid, Zoosk, and newcomer 2RedBeans all use technology to secretly determine mutual attraction between users which JDate claims is their exclusive territory.

The patent in question, number 5,950,200, is called the “Method and Apparatus for Detection Of Reciprocal Interests or Feelings And Subsequent Notification.” On OKCupid, the issue is with the “Quick Match” system, where users can see and rate other users. If two users happen to give each other high ratings, which happens without the other’s knowledge, they are informed via email. The idea is to inform two people of, if not mutual attraction, than at least mutually awarding arbitrary stars to each other.

The timing of JDate’s suit is a little odd, especially considering that OKCupid and Zoost are fairly well established. Perhaps if these sites had a method, or apparatus, for the detection of reciprocal interests they would have realized how much in common they really have and wouldn’t have to fight like this. If only!

]]>http://www.themarysue.com/jdate-sues-dating-sites/feed/3To Prove a Point, “Dating” Site Steals 250,000 Facebook Profileshttp://www.themarysue.com/dating-site-stole-facebook-profiles/
http://www.themarysue.com/dating-site-stole-facebook-profiles/#commentsFri, 04 Feb 2011 16:25:50 +0000http://www.geekosystem.com/?p=50164New dating site Lovely-Faces.com launched with over 250,000 member profiles, but rather than being a promising launch for a heavily-populated future, it turned out the site was basically a prank; one that happened to scrape all of their "launch member" profiles from Facebook (including names, locations and photos), then reuse them on the fake dating site. Head on past the break for details.]]>New dating site Lovely-Faces.com launched with over 250,000 member profiles, but rather than being a promising launch for a heavily-populated future, it turned out the site was basically a prank; one that happened to scrape all of their “launch member” profiles from Facebook (including names, locations and photos), then reuse them on the fake dating site.

Media artist Paulo Cirio and media critic and editor-in-chief of Neural magazineAlessandro Ludovic, the duo behind Lovely-Faces.com, claim the site is “art,” rather than an actual dating site. Their reasoning for creating the dating site and pilfering random Facebook profiles–without Facebook users’ permission–is more of a demonstration showing how fragile a virtual identity can be:

“Facebook, an endlessly cool place for so many people, becomes at the same time a goldmine for identity theft and dating — unfortunately, without the user’s control. But that’s the very nature of Facebook and social media in general. If we start to play with the concepts of identity theft and dating, we should be able to unveil how fragile a virtual identity given to a proprietary platform can be.”

Even though the fake dating site’s scraping of Facebook data was supposedly an experiment to show how fragile a virtual identity can be, Cirio and Ludovic still scraped Facebook data, and Facebook isn’t too happy with that. Director of policy communications Barry Schnitt:

“Scraping people’s information violates our terms. We have taken, and will continue to take, aggressive legal action against organizations that violate these terms. We’re investigating this site and will take appropriate action.”

As Wiredpoints out in their article, it’s a little hypocritical of Facebook to be mad at the “artists,” considering Facebook got its start when Mark Zuckerberg scraped Harvard student pictures for his original site that eventually led to Facebook, FaceMash.

Online, subscription-based dating site giant Match.com has acquired online, free dating site OkCupid for $50 million, in a deal that also includes future earnouts based on the site's performance. Match.com was interested in OkCupid because the free dating site has a younger user base, a market Match was obviously interested in entering. According to IAC, Match's parent company, OkCupid is the fastest-growing dating site that generates revenue from advertising. Over the past few years, Match has been on a roll acquiring online dating sites, buying up People Media in 2009 and and Singlesnet in 2010, and can now add social-network-esque OkCupid to their catalogue.

Online, subscription-based dating site giant Match.com has acquired online, free dating site OkCupid for $50 million, in a deal that also includes future earnouts based on the site’s performance. Match.com was interested in OkCupid because the free dating site has a younger user base, a market Match was obviously interested in entering. According to IAC, Match’s parent company, OkCupid is the fastest-growing dating site that generates revenue from advertising. Over the past few years, Match has been on a roll acquiring online dating sites, buying up People Media in 2009 and and Singlesnet in 2010, and can now add social-network-esque OkCupid to their catalogue.

According to a post on founder and CEO Markus Frind's blog, popular free online dating site PlentyofFish was hacked last week, leading the PlentyofFish team to believe that all usernames and passwords were downloaded and compromised. Though the news is coming from the CEO's personal blog, PlentyofFish hasn't yet released an official statement. Sites get hacked all the time--even Facebook overlord Mark Zuckerberg's own Facebook page was hacked last week--but the PlentyofFish hack comes with a fairly elaborate and ridiculous story.

]]>

According to a post on founder and CEO Markus Frind’s blog, popular free online dating site PlentyofFish was hacked last week, leading the PlentyofFish team to believe that all usernames and passwords were downloaded and compromised. Though the news is coming from the CEO’s personal blog, PlentyofFish hasn’t yet released an official statement. Sites get hacked all the time–even Facebook overlord Mark Zuckerberg’s own Facebook page was hacked last week–but the PlentyofFish hack comes with a fairly elaborate and ridiculous story.

The post on Frind’s blog states an Argentinian hacker named Chris Russo, who Frind claims also happened to hack The Pirate Bay, signed up for Frind’s dating site two days before Frind was to attend an online dating conference in Miami. Supposedly, it took Russo two days to hack the site, with the attacks starting while Frind was on an airplane headed to the Miami conference, and Frind states Russo didn’t even try to hide behind a proxy, signed up with his real name, and commenced the attacks while actually logged into his PlentyofFish account.

From here, the story gets pretty absurd, as Frind claims his wife received a call from Russo, claiming that the dating site has been hacked, and “Russians have taken over his computer and are trying to kill him, and his life is in extreme danger, and they are currently downloading plentyoffish’s database.” Frind claims he then closed the security breach, launched an investigation, and over the next twenty-four hours, both he and his wife received various frantic voicemails from Russo.

Frind’s wife then received a message from Brian Krebs, former Washington Post employee, regarding the breach, and claimed Russo is a harmless kid from Argentina who happened to contact him regarding the PlentyofFish breach. Eventually, Frind gets into contact with Russo over the phone, and Russo explains that the mysterious Russians have access to everything on PlentyofFish, include bank accounts, and plan on stealing thirty million dollars from various dating sites, which happens to include PlentyofFish. The reason why Russo knows all this? He claims the Russians have taken over his computer and he can see everything the Russians are doing.

So far, so ridiculous. The second time Frind gets into contact with Russo, Russo claims he has a business partner named Luca, and is no longer afraid of the Russians killing him, and claims both he and Luca work together as a security company. They supposedly tell Frind that in exchange for complete access to all of the dating site’s source code and SQL databases, they can make sure the attacks don’t happen again. They ask Frind to sign NDA contracts and claim they know where the Russians dumped the dating site’s stolen data, which they can erase. Even weirder, Russo and Luca then attempted to get officially hired by Frind, asking if they would be making over $100k or $500k per year. For some reason, Frind asked for the hackers’ resumes, and once received, supposedly discovered that the places the hackers claimed they previously worked for were places they previously hacked and attempted to exploit in a similar fashion.

According to Frind’s blog post, he feels Russo and Luca are trying to extort the dating site, but are making things up as they go because they have “absolutely no idea what they are doing.” Finally, Frind claims he emailed Russo’s mother, because that’s what you do in the world of business and digital intrigue.

To make the story even more interesting, Grumo Media supposedly got into contact with Chris Russo, and he replied with a fairly different story. He claims he’s a security researcher and discovered the vulnerability in the dating site which was under “active exploitation by hackers.” Russo’s team then got into contact with Frind and his wife, informed them of the security flaw, and Frind was so thankful that he offered to hire Russo’s team as “security professionals.” Russo claims that while he and his team were getting the appropriate employment documents ready, Frind became increasingly aggressive and told Russo to speak with two of Frind’s employees, “because there was a serial killer, murdering people from the website.”

Russo claims that the vulnerability was properly document by his security team, without exposing any of the dating site’s user information, detailing the hack as “an error based MSSQL injection, that could allow any attacker to make a full backup of the databases used by the webserver, and or [sic] gain direct access to the site.” Russo then claims that Frind sent him a pretty aggressive email, which can be seen over on Grumo Media, accusing him — without proof — of being the hacker responsible for the security breach, threatening Russo by saying if the dating site’s data goes public, he’ll send every single member of PlentyofFish Russo’s personal information, including a picture of Russo, his phone number, and email address.

Russo also claims that after the threatening email, there were a few phone calls from Frind where Frind directly accused Russo’s team of stealing the dating site’s data, and also mentioned there are “mafias behind sites like the one he runs.”

As one can plainly see, there are two extremely different sides to the story, both of which seem pretty over the top: Mafias behind dating sites and a real life the://plentyoffish.killer? Whichever story is closer to the truth, it appears that PlentyofFish was legitimately hacked, and whenever the site’s official statement regarding the hack is released, we can be sure it’ll only further muddle the story.

]]>http://www.themarysue.com/geekolinks-716/feed/0Registrations on Cheating Website Shoot Up Tenfold the Day after Mother’s Dayhttp://www.themarysue.com/ashley-madison-cheating-mother-day/
http://www.themarysue.com/ashley-madison-cheating-mother-day/#commentsTue, 11 May 2010 20:07:07 +0000http://www.geekosystem.com/?p=15924

How did you spend your Mother's Day? Maybe you woke up in the morning and brought your mom breakfast in bed. Some of you might have bought flowers and candy to your grandmothers. Jewelry may very well have been involved. Personally, I treated my mom and family to a late dinner. She still nagged me about forgetting my sweater, but it felt nice being out and being able to say, "Thanks, Mom, for giving birth to me and putting up with my neuroses."

Or maybe you didn't do much of anything. Maybe you forgot to buy a gift for your wife, or partner, and hoped to high heaven that it would be ok come Monday. Maybe you slept on the couch, or got into a fight so bad your ears are still ringing. But hey, it's ok, right? It's one day of the year, so you tell yourself you'll make up for it next time while you try to remember your anniversary.

Monday passes, and the tension starts to die down. You kiss your lady goodbye as you both head off to work, and all is right with the world. You're in the clear, right? Bad news. Remember Greg from the 4th floor? His wife left him yesterday. Momlogic gives one reason:

How did you spend your Mother’s Day? Maybe you woke up in the morning and brought your mom breakfast in bed. Some of you might have bought flowers and candy to your grandmothers. Jewelry may very well have been involved. Personally, I treated my mom and family to a late dinner. She still nagged me about forgetting my sweater, but it felt nice being out and being able to say, “Thanks, Mom, for giving birth to me and putting up with my neuroses.”

Or maybe you didn’t do much of anything. Maybe you forgot to buy a gift for your wife, or partner, and hoped to high heaven that it would be ok come Monday. Maybe you slept on the couch, or got into a fight so bad your ears are still ringing. But hey, it’s ok, right? It’s one day of the year, so you tell yourself you’ll make up for it next time while you try to remember your anniversary.

Monday passes, and the tension starts to die down. You kiss your lady goodbye as you both head off to work, and all is right with the world. You’re in the clear, right? Bad news. Remember Greg from the 4th floor? His wife left him yesterday. Momlogic gives one reason:

And every married man in the room starts to sweat. Representatives from the website AshleyMadison.com, a dating site devoted to facilitating affairs between married men and women, told momlogic that more 31,000 women signed up for their site that day — more than ten times the usual number of attached women who sign up on a given Monday.

“This “day after” trend is nothing new to AshleyMadison.com,” they write. “Their biggest day of the year for female signups is the day after Valentine’s Day, and their third-biggest day is the day after New Year’s.”

Statistics like that are hard to deny. Especially when you also consider how in vogue and relatively accepted dating sites have become in recent years. AshleyMadison has also developed a fairly high profile; According to their homepage, they’ve been covered by The View, Ellen, and Good Morning America, and they also claim more than 5.2 million members.

So why Mother’s Day? CEO Noel Biderman reportedly believes that, “on Mother’s Day, women in general expect to be celebrated by their partners. However, for many already suffering from a lack of appreciation, this day represents a continuation of neglect and disappointment.”

Now, before some of you race off to buy diamond rings and make plans to renew your vows, remember that talking is about as important as acting here. One Dr. Michelle Golland told momlogic:

“I think it is important for moms to share with their husbands what they would enjoy for Mothers Day,” she says. “If you want a day off or breakfast in bed, say so.”

So, at the very least, show her you care without waiting for an excuse. It’ll make the wait until Father’s Day that much easier.