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Thirstiest to Thirstiest-est: "The Bachelor" Power Rankings, Episode 7

On this week’s episode of The Bachelor, the gang comes home to Miami. Sharleen scores the first one-on-one date, where she questions whether or not she wants to spend eternity with a dude who is effectually a Hollister Co. mannequin. Her mind tells her know, but her body—her body!—tells her yes (at least for the time being). Nikki scores the episode’s other one-on-one date, which is a visit to a kid’s dance recital, followed by a picnic inside a tastelessly decorated baseball stadium. Yawn.

Things finally get interesting after the group date when Sharleen decides that she doesn’t relate to JP on an “intellectual” level. So, she leaves the show. This comes as no surprise to the rest of the ladies who long suspected that Sharleen was into “nerdy” guys. LOL at Sharleen. What. A. Dork!

Nikki and Clare have their long-awaited spat inside a penthouse suite, and it’s as wonderfully exasperating as you’d imagine. These girls have spent months sitting in hotel rooms with jack shit to do. So, it was only a matter of time before tempers flared. Nikki triggers the confrontation by saying, “That’s so stupid” for no apparent reason and stomping upstairs. Clare follows and the shade fest is on! After reviewing the tape, this is definitely a #TeamClare situation. Nikki has been acting wild out of pocket lately.

To no one’s surprise, Chelsie gets the axe during the rose ceremony. You know what that means? HOMETOWN DATES NEXT WEEK!

To make order of The Bachelor’s ceaseless fuckery, Complex Pop Culture ranks the show’s contestants every week based on their desire for meritless fame. This is the sixth installment of Thirstiest to Thirstiest-est: The Bachelor Power Rankings.

Sean Evans is a writer based in Chicago. He's incredibly boring on Twitter, but we're obliged to provide his handle @seanseaevans.