Some stories are so heartbreaking that it’s hard to repeat them.
I am writing this one on Father’s Day 2013, especially mindful of a
father for whom this day brings sorrow and regret. Carlos Arredondo
lost his only two children to the Iraq War. The eldest son,
Alexander, was a US marine killed in battle in 2004 while serving
his second tour of duty. He was just 20 years old—a month younger
than my own child, so his family’s experiences hit close to home.
Nishelle Bellinger and I explored Carlos Arredondo’s folkloric
practices in an essay published in the Journal of American
Folklore in 2010: “From Sorrow to Activism: A Father’s
Memorial to His Son Alexander Arredondo, Killed in the U.S.
Occupation of Iraq” 123(488):179–217. We discussed the complex and
artistic ways in which Carlos responded to the jarring news of
Alex’s death by creating spontaneous memorials at peace rallies and
veterans’ events, often using the back of his truck to display a
coffin decorated with enlarged photos of Alex, his military boots,
and other items to memorialize his son. Alex’s death radically
changed Carlos, an immigrant from Costa Rica who struggled to build
a better life for his kids. After Alex was killed, Carlos and his
wife, Mélida Arredondo, began speaking out against the Iraq War,
using the memorials to help communicate their grief. The
memory-laden displays encouraged onlookers to consider the real and
tragic human loss resulting from US military policy and to take a
stand against the death and destruction that war inevitably
brings.

Talking with Carlos and Mélida and going to visit Alex’s
gravesite, the home where he grew up, and the street and post
office now displaying memorial signs to honor him were profound
experiences for me. Alex’s death has turned the Arredondos’ world
upside down in every way, as it has for Victoria Foley, his mother
(Victoria and Carlos divorced when the boys were young). Hearing
their stories and seeing what Alex’s death has done to them is
moving and deeply disturbing. In our conversations they always
mentioned Brian, Alex’s younger brother. They worried about the
tremendous toll Alex’s death was taking on him, knowing that he was
traumatized, angry, and feeling lost. They reached out and tried to
help him, but in their grief and

Carlos and Mélida Arredondo getting ready to participate in the
annual Dorchester Parade, June 2, 2012. They wore T-shirts
dedicated to Alex and buttons that memorialized Brian. Carlos also
wore Alex’s helmet as a tribute. Photo by Linda Pershing.

despair, Brian slipped through their fingers. When I got word in
December 2011 that Brian had committed suicide, I could hardly
breathe. What follows is the second part of this troubling
story.

Brian never really recovered from Alex’s death in the Iraq War.
When they were kids, Brian adored his older brother and tagged
along with him whenever he could. They were often seen playing
together in parks and schoolyards in communities surrounding
Boston, Massachusetts, and Bangor, Maine, where they grew up. As
teens, the two boys were perfect targets for military recruiters:
first-generation Americans (on their father’s side), working-class
youth (they attended a technical high school where much of the
curriculum focuses on vocational education), and living with their
mother after their parents divorced when the boys were young.
Promises of career training, male camaraderie and “becoming a man,”
appeals to patriotism, a $10,000 signing bonus and funding for
college enticed Alex Arredondo to join the marines, just a month
before September 11, 2011. Brian was distraught and seemed to lose
his focus and motivation when Alex enlisted. Shortly thereafter, he
dropped out of high school at the beginning of tenth grade. On
August 25, 2004, a sniper’s bullet to...

You must be logged in through an institution that subscribes to this journal or book to access the full text.

Shibboleth

Shibboleth authentication is only available to registered institutions.

Welcome to Project MUSE

Use the simple Search box at the top of the page or the Advanced Search linked from the top of the page to find book and journal content. Refine results with the filtering options on the left side of the Advanced Search page or on your search results page. Click the Browse box to see a selection of books and journals by: Research Area, Titles A-Z, Publisher, Books only, or Journals only.