To survive and succeed as a parent of a child with disabilities, we all need to get some support and learn some new skills. No one is born knowing how to do this job. Everything you can learn that helps you find peace of mind will also help your child and the rest of your family. Then you can build a positive family environment.

Consider your emotions and make emotional choices thoughtfully. Ask yourself, “What are the emotions that dominate my life right now?”

When you have a child with some kind of diagnosis or label, you will probably go through a process of grief for the child you expected and didn't get. You'll feel loss, sorrow, and anger. You'll search for answers, you'll sense loneliness. And the process can recur when you least expect it, such as at key turning points in your child’s life. We all do this. Both failing to acknowledge these emotions and getting stuck in them will make your parenting experience harder. Don’t be afraid to feel these emotions, but feel them and look for ways to move on.

It may sound trite, but you really can create a positive outlook. You have a choice for how you react to the events of your life. Try these techniques to keep things moving in a positive direction:

Use humor to gain some perspective and give yourself some breathing room

Notice the stories you tell yourself about what you experience—the words you use to tell these stories will influence how you think and feel

Reframe negatives to positives. Instead of thinking, “That person is such a jerk for staring at my child,” you might just as easily think, “I wonder if that person has a child at home like mine and is trying to decide whether to speak up or not.”

Practice forgiveness for the slights, hurts, mistakes and injustices you may experience on your child’s behalf—don’t take it personally

Find another parent to share your feelings with. Texas Parent to Parent can match parents for emotional support

Join a parent group or online listserv

Go to a therapist if you really feel stuck, even if it is just for a short time or a tune-up. Ask other parents and professionals for referrals to a therapist who understands what you are going through