How Big Is Big Enough?

But do you think Sarah Connor was put off because Schwarzenegger was too jacked for her tastes? Was all that muscle a turnoff? Duh. She gave precisely zero craps about that. It was because, as Sergeant Kyle Reese explained, Arnie wanted to: “Reach down her throat and pull her f*cking heart out.”

Conversely, the thin guy came back through time — naked, even — to save her life, because he fell in love with a photograph. And now to quote Donkey from Shrek: “Chicks love that romantic crap.” Hell, if you punt the hyper-muscled murder machine from The Terminator, you have the makings of a chick flick starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Lifting to get laid is kind of stupid.

Body for Wife?

I mean, I get it. And maybe I seem like a hypocrite, because my personal website is BodyForWife, but let me explain. See, I was fat and got in shape before proposing. But I think she would have said yes anyway. It didn’t take long for me to realize that this was never about her, but about me. I just adopted the Body for Wife thing as a gimmick because I thought it was funny. Sure, she digs my body, but what she loves more is that I’d totally strip off all my clothes and go back through time for her. Also, I can cook.

Lifting is for me. The size I am is the size I want to be. The amount of strength I have is good enough and results in regular invitations from friends to help them move. Anyone who says I should be more or less muscular can eat some dicks.

Speaking of dicks…

I have been one. I have judged. This is my mea culpa. And my apology.

In my first ever article for AskMen I interviewed the world’s leading authority on physical attractiveness, who said this of people’s efforts to look good: “We want them to be naturally attractive. We don’t judge them as favorably if they… [take] a physique to an extreme like a bodybuilder.” I also made a joke in that piece questioning how bodybuilders wipe their ass.

And that’s not the only time I’ve dissed the huge. I’ve poked fun at them in several articles and pointed to research stating, "Men with moderate muscularity are rated most attractive" and that the more brawny bodybuilder physique is deemed less desirable.

I even conducted a survey, asking 100 women what they found most attractive in a man. Here are the answers, ranked in order of preference:

What changed?

You see, I love Arnie. I don’t want look like him (there isn’t enough juice on the planet to get me that big), but I loved his performances in his heyday, and part of that was because the man was larger than life.

And so I was watching Predator recently (Blu-ray and big screen), and I decided I had to write this piece. Movies like Conan, Predator and The Terminator are all imprinted on my brain from multiple viewings that began as a kid, so how could I dare question the merits of what he was able to accomplish with his physique, steroids or not? (Read my recent piece “Are steroids addictive?”)

It’s all about what we want for ourselves. We all have different goals in mind and what we’re willing to do to achieve them. Sometimes we fall short and have to settle for “good enough.” Sometimes we do better than we thought possible. Sometimes, we look in the mirror, and we are happy.