Hello Kitty vibrator finally goes on sale in the UK

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What to do if you’re a big fan of Hello Kitty with an aching shoulder? Well, you’ll be needing this Hello Kitty Shoulder Massager then. It costs £24.99, comes in four colours (pink, lilac, red and black, since you ask), and is available from UK website LoveHoney.

Hang on a mo, don’t they sell… Well, yes. LoveHoney is, in fairness, a sex toys retailer. And it’s fair to say that this particular massager can be used to provide vibrating goodness for other parts of your anatomy, if you don’t mind SULLYING A BEAUTIFUL ICON OF CUTENESS AND PURITY WITH FILTHY FILTHY SELF-PLEASURE, of course.

It originally went on sale ten years ago in Japan, and were genuinely meant for shoulders. “The vibrators were withdrawn from sale several years ago and became something of an urban myth and very sought-after, but we’ve managed to track them down,” says LoveHoney head buyer Bonny Hall.

The site is also selling a £19.99 Hello Kitty Keychain Massager, for more discreet fun on the go. Even its ears and nose vibrate, y’know. What next for LoveHoney though? My bet’s on a Sylvanian Families vibrator…