Invitation help, wording

I am DIY letterpress invitations…. My parents decided until right now to criticize them, after I bought everything and made the plates and started printing them -.-. Their main critique is about the wording.

The invitation goes like this:

Mr. and Mrs. minipenguin’s parents

together with

Mr and Ms grooms parents with respective last names (divorced)

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their children

etcetera etcetera

My parents feel that the “together with” makes it seem as if they are in a position above my FFILs or that the FFILs were added as an afterthought…..

@minipenguin: “together with” is not the etiquette problem here. There are a couple of problems though.

First, the most rigourous etiquette standard holds that invitations are issued by one lady only — the hostess, the person who actually is behind all the planning and who has both the right, and the responsibility, for the final decisions on everything that may affect the comfort, safety and entertainment of her guests — and optionally that lady’s spouse. It also holds that no lady is ever listed on social correspondence having her name paired up with a gentleman to whom she is not married.

Of course, wedding-parents who do not know or do not care about the most rigourous etiquette standard, often see having their name on the invitations as an “honour” and would be hurt to be omitted, even if it does make the invitation look like a club event being held by an entire social committee. Since the overriding rule of etiquette is “be kind and thoughtful and do not cause dissention” rigourous etiquette should always be sacrificed in favour of not hurting your future mother-in-law.

But, pairing her as “Mr and Mrs” with a person she has divorced is likely an etiquette faux pas that your future mother-in-law would NOT be in favour of. A more correct wording (still using the social-committe form and your “together with” wording) would be

Mr. and Mrs. minipenguin’s parentstogether with Ms groom’s motherMr groom’s fatherrequest the pleasure of your companyat the marriage of their childrenetcetera etcetera