Friday, 11 June 2010

I Declare This Fauna Mega

This week's Mad Science news is awesome for two reasons. Reason number 1: it involves giant motherfucking birds! Could a giant motherfucking bird beat a giant motherfucking snake, I hear you ask? There's only one way to find out! FIGHT! In the distant past!

Time to get cracking on that time machine, "science"! If I haven't seen a giant motherfucking bird fight a giant motherfucking snake by the end of the year, I will be building my own time machine, and I'll be using it to get my loving from your mommas! Back when they were young and pretty, that is, and not horribly twisted by the realisation that their darling baby boys and girls were going to grow up to clink test tubes and spew out sentences like "I'm not attempting to make an ontological argument."

Whilst we wait for our mega-fauna grudge match, however, we can consider the interesting snippet in the first link: Ben Gunn is now an archaeologist! How perfectly lovely for him! I was sure he'd gone irredeemably insane on Treasure Island, but damnit if he wasn't just the little sun-cooked castaway who could!

It does seem strange that he's still alive after all this time, though. Maybe Stevenson set his story on the same island as Lost. Perhaps Redruth got himself messed up by the smoke monster, and Smollett was just too much of a pussy to fess up. Or maybe Treasure Island is just Jacob's holiday getaway. Everyone deserves some time off after a few centuries of your brother trying to kill you, right?