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It is a miracle that I am still alive and have found the materials to carve this message. It is a miracle that such an awful place as this exists.

My name is Reysa. Until recently, I would have identified myself as an Onu-Matoran Inventor. Now, I am not sure either title fits me. Like you, I was sent here due to injury. I was developing a Heatstone-powered engine, and when it blew up my friend Gar and I were caught in the blast. Unlike you, I have seen firsthand all the horrors this realm has to offer.

Nobody should ever have to see those horrors again.

I implore you to read on and to leave this place. And, if you are too stubborn to do so, I implore you to reconsider.

***

Zap. Whoosh. A bolt of lightning struck the boat.

After what could have been an age, I awoke. When I finally came to my senses, the remains of our vessel had floated ashore and Gar, who must have waded to safety, was drenched.

When I stumbled out of the wreck, he shot me an angry look.

“You—you moron! We almost died when your engine blew up back home, and now look at what you’ve gotten us into!”

I was taken aback. Gar was among the kindest Matoran I knew—he never lashed out at anyone.

He was taken aback too. He looked down at the ground, up at me, and back down again, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Reysa, I don’t know what got into—”

He was still looking at the ground, his voice remorseful. “But the weather is worsening.”

He was right. In the distance, clouds darker than the ones above us floated ever closer. They looked like they were just raring to spew out liquid protodermis. They moved with surprising speed; it wouldn’t be long before they arrived.

“Which is exactly why I’m going to look for shelter,” I said impatiently.

“The point is—”

“The point is that I’m looking for shelter,” I spat as I stormed off.

***

Karzahni. As you can no doubt see for yourself, its surroundings are completely desolate. The only thing that covers the rocky ground is sand and dust. It even seems like common logic has no effect here. While I trudged along toward the settlement, the sound of the breeze blasted like a swarm of Kirikori Nui, but it would take a De-Matoran to hear the loudest booms of thunder, if there even were any.

By the time I found the canyon, it was dark enough they had placed lightstones out as if it were nighttime. On one side of the realm was a series of mysterious spires; on the other, a village. The settlement, like its surroundings, was very strange. The villagers seemed oddly short even from a distance, and many were huddled around blocks of ice as if hoping to stay warm. As I approached a group of Matoran, many tried to avoid eye contact with me. The ones that didn’t had looks in their eyes of great sadness. One among them caught my eye—a fidgety Le-Matoran who, despite his obvious fear, was trying to maintain his composure. He stared right at me. He began to jitter more and more as I grew nearer, but his glowing eyes didn’t waver.

Finally, he looked down. “What do you want from me?” he asked balefully. “What could I possibly have worth anything anymore?”

“I was sent here by my Turaga,” I responded. The Matoran who had avoided looking at me before were now boring straight through me with their eyes. “Where is Karzahni?”

The Matoran looked back up and pondered for a moment, bewildered. “Are you mad?”

I restated my question, this time more forcefully.

The Le-Matoran’s eyes darted back and forth between several other villagers, but his pleads for assistance were met with blank stares. After some deliberation, he slowly raised one of his hands and pointed toward the spires in the distance. “He’s—he’s in there—”

I headed off in the direction he pointed. As I did so, he called after me. The wind muted him out.

***

The spires stretched up toward the sky as if they wanted to snatch the stars from it. Although the buildings appeared newly-built, they also somehow seemed indescribably ancient. A dull glow came from inside the towers, but it seemed almost sorrowful.

When I entered the main building, I felt as if it wanted to devour me. The chamber was empty save for several wall-mounted torches. The only two directions I could travel were up a menacing staircase or out the door toward safety.

Foolishly, I chose the stairs.

After I hobbled up what felt like a kio of steps, I finally reached a landing with a large door. My legs could no longer move, and I collapsed flat on the floor. They say that Onu-Matoran have unrivaled stamina; that must be true, because I am convinced that if it weren’t for my stubbornness I would have fallen long before I did. While I was recovering, I studied the door and realized that there was no way to open it. And so I ran—or quickly limped—toward the door, hoping to alert whoever was on the other side as to my presence. However, it swung open as I was about to reach it, sending me sliding into the room it concealed.

The room I was in now in was very different from the rest of the building. Although it was located in the tip of a spire, the chamber was surprisingly large. On one wall was a window looking out to nothing but fog, and on the furthermost side of the room was a stack of stone tablets covered in illegible text accompanied by the occasional scribble of a picture. Next to this mound, however, sat the strangest feature of the room: a twisted throne occupied by an even more twisted being.

You no doubt know of the being. He is said to have been created by the Great Beings themselves; I can only hope that is a lie. His armor had been patched up so many times it was as if he spent his free time rebuilding himself—and he no doubt had a lot of free time, based on the amount of effort he put into maintaining his realm. And behind his hideous Kanohi sat a pair of eyes teetering on the brink of madness.

I looked up at Karzahni, who was staring right through me as if deep in thought. Slowly, he contorted his face into a twisted smile. Then suddenly, he spoke.

“Hello, Matoran. Do you wish to be healed?” He asked this without emotion, as if he had recited the greeting many times.

I slowly nodded. It appeared there was no other option; if I tried to escape the chamber, he would no doubt catch me on the staircase.

His body shuddered as he tried to hide a bout of psychotic laughter.

“Very well,” he responded, standing. “This won’t hurt a bit.”

He lied.

***

When Karzahni finished rebuilding me, he gave me an approving smile and stared at me, admiring his handiwork.

Relieved, I looked down at my body.

Horrified, I looked up at Karzahni.

I suddenly had the urge to run out of the rebuilding chamber and that awful realm, my fear of being caught gone. Whether the being in front of me realized this telepathically, through experience, or simply because I was looking at the exit, I don’t know. I do know that he did not approve of my plans.

“If you try to run, Matoran, you’ll regret it.”

I stopped looking at the door, and my eyes moved around the room before they finally settled on Karzahni. He sneered. I stared at him for a little while, and, sneering back at him, I bolted toward the exit.

But before I could make it out of the chamber, reality began to twist around me.

I now stood back home, in front of my Heatstone engine. I heard Gar enter the room, and he stood beside me, examining the motor. Suddenly, my hand moved, but I wasn’t in control of it; my head then looked down without my willing it, and I saw that I was holding a Heatstone.

That’s when I realized what was happening. Someone—or something—was forcing me to relive the actions that had gotten me sent to Karzahni.

I turned to Gar, and he shook his head in disapproval. I looked back down. Knowing what was to come, I resisted as much as I could. But despite all of my efforts, I placed the Heatstone in its conduit.

The explosion was much larger than I remembered. I was blown clear away from the engine, and I lay on the ground for what seemed to be an eternity. I eventually regained enough strength to move my fingers, and was surprised to discover I was now in control of my body. After several painful attempts, I stood up. I then limped toward where Gar now lay.

When I approached him, he gave me a look of disapproval. His Kanohi had been shattered, and some of its fragments were on the ground near him. I knelt down in front of him, and he grew less tense.

“Don’t worry,” I told him. “You’re going to be alright.”

Gar smiled, but with great effort. “You were never good at lying.”

I watched in horror as his heartlight slowly began to flash. I grasped him and pleaded with him, but he just smiled and shook his head. I let go of him and looked down at the ground, and he spoke one final time.

“Remember to live, Reysa.”

I glanced back up at him, and his heartlight was now dark. I looked up and off into space as Matoran began to congregate around us. In every eye watching me were expressions of hatred and shame. I looked among them. I pleaded with them. I stared at Gar. I stared at the sky. I stared back at Gar. Then I was back in the rebuilding chamber.

My horrible vision had ended.

***

I glared at Karzahni and was about ready to attack him when he spoke.

“Don’t you understand?” he asked. “Your own incompetence saved your friend’s life. In my vision, I simply fixed the flaw in your engine that made it less powerful—just like I have done with you.”

It was clear that Karzahni was baiting me to see how I would react; after all, most of the other Matoran he had encountered were probably too afraid to run from him. Nevertheless, it was too much for me to bear. I picked up a gear lying on the ground and threw it at him.

Karzahni walked up to me and picked me up so that my Kanohi was frighteningly close to his. “Bring it on, Matoran,” he spat.

I accepted.

Karzahni dropped me to the ground. I knew what to expect and braced myself. But nothing could have helped me prepare for what was to come. As the world melted and shifted around me, I found myself on the other side of the room in excruciating pain. I knew deep down that it was just an illusion, but I couldn’t think any coherent thoughts. I just lay there, hopeless. I feel if the attack had lasted much longer it, combined with the pain of actually being rebuilt, would have shredded my mind. Eventually, however, Karzahni ceased in his assault. When the vision ended, he was staring at me from the corner of the room with blank eyes. I slowly moved toward the exit. He could have stopped me again, but he did not. For reasons that I still don’t quite understand, he let me go.

***

I ran and I ran, out into that cruel canyon and through the dusty haze as quickly as my new body would let me. When I finally stopped, I stood for several moments, gasping for air. I looked around at the dismal land around me, and my new, weaker legs gave out from under me. I was in the midst of a torrential downpour, and large puddles had formed everywhere. I looked down at one; staring up from it was a completely different Matoran wearing a completely different Kanohi. I felt my mask. I wasn’t hallucinating.

As I sat there, watching the rain fall and the lightning strike in the distance, I planned my revenge on Karzahni. I sat there for what could have been hours, listening and watching and plotting, thinking with dread about the events that had transpired. A gust of wind blew past. But as it did, I heard it whisper to me.

Remember to live, Reysa.

And as I thought about those words, I suddenly understood why that realm was so horrific. It was not its dangers. It was not the awful rebuilding process. It was the fact that, through all of those tortures, even the purest being could be made into a monster.

It was the fact that I was the monster, not Karzahni.

If I were the same being I was when I arrived, I would have construed Karzahni’s taunts to mean it was a good thing I built the engine poorly—otherwise when it blew up Gar would have been killed. Then I would try to convince myself I deliberately built the engine that way.

But I’m not the same being. I now realize I have spent my life trying to hide my mediocrity from myself with a façade of confidence and impatience. Karzahni was right, but only to a certain extent. He may have fixed a flaw in the engine, but he did not stop it from blowing up. He did something similar to me—he may have rebuilt me, but he did not curb my temper.

The wind was right. I must stop hiding my flaws from myself, and instead I must acknowledge them. Only then I will be able to accomplish my Duty, fulfill my Destiny, and begin to truly prosper. Although I have lost track of time while carving this, I know it is time for me to face my fate and to live with the consequences of my actions. It is time for me to return to Gar, who has hopefully honored my request and not yet left that wreck of a boat. Then, with or without him, I must return to Karzahni, to the frightened villagers, and to that paranoid Le-Matoran.

Maybe we will find a way to leave this place. Maybe we won't. Only time will tell. But your fate is still undecided. I am about to begin my journey back to meet Gar, and when I reach our landing site I will place this rock there for you to find. I hope my misfortunes will help you decide your path—whether you will leave and save yourself while you still can or if you will join me in that monster’s wasteland. But, no matter how to choose to proceed, I leave you with one simple request:

Okay, I've fixed the spacing and have noted that in the post. The word count remains the same.Also, one more thing I noticed: there's a part that's supposed to be in italics that now isn't (I had to clear formatting when I first posted it). It's just one line, but I should presumably get permission before fixing it anyway....

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed.

Although I have lost track of time while carving this, I know that it is time for me to face my fate and to live with the consequences of my actions. It is time for me to return to Gar, who has hopefully honored my request and has not yet left that wreck of a boat. Then, with or without him, I must return to Karzahni, to the frightened villagers, and to that paranoid Le-Matoran. Maybe we will find a way to leave this place. Maybe we won't. Only time will tell.But your fate is still undecided. I am about to begin my journey back to meet Gar, and when I reach our landing site I will place this rock there for you to find. I hope that my misfortunes will help you to decide your path - whether you will leave and save yourself while you still can or if you will trudge on into that monster's wasteland. But, no matter how to choose to proceed, I leave you with one simple request:Remember to live.

This entry implies that Reysa actually escaped from Karzanhi by boat in the above quote.

Reysa was sent to Karzahni be fixed, though the ruler failed in this. He gave Reysa a weapon to defend himself with and hid him on the Southern Continent.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed.

Although I have lost track of time while carving this, I know that it is time for me to face my fate and to live with the consequences of my actions. It is time for me to return to Gar, who has hopefully honored my request and has not yet left that wreck of a boat. Then, with or without him, I must return to Karzahni, to the frightened villagers, and to that paranoid Le-Matoran. Maybe we will find a way to leave this place. Maybe we won't. Only time will tell.But your fate is still undecided. I am about to begin my journey back to meet Gar, and when I reach our landing site I will place this rock there for you to find. I hope that my misfortunes will help you to decide your path - whether you will leave and save yourself while you still can or if you will trudge on into that monster's wasteland. But, no matter how to choose to proceed, I leave you with one simple request:Remember to live.

This entry implies that Reysa actually escaped from Karzanhi by boat in the above quote.

Reysa was sent to Karzahni be fixed, though the ruler failed in this. He gave Reysa a weapon to defend himself with and hid him on the Southern Continent.

So Karzanhi hid him in the Southern Continent. Reysa did not escape.

Ah sorry, I didn't mean to imply that—the boat isn't water-worthy at this point, and Reysa feels that he has to return to Karzahni and live with the consequences of his stubbornness instead of just forgetting about it like he's done before. Is there any way that you think I could make the ending a bit less ambiguous?

Edit: Is this a better ending, do you think (the sentence in bold is the one I modified)?

Although I have lost track of time while carving this, I know that it is time for me to face my fate and to live with the consequences of my actions. It is time for me to return to Gar, who has hopefully honored my request and has not yet left that wreck of a boat. Then, with or without him, I must return to Karzahni, to the frightened villagers, and to that paranoid Le-Matoran. Maybe we will find a way to leave this place. Maybe we won't. Only time will tell.

But your fate is still undecided. I am about to begin my journey back to meet Gar, and when I reach our landing site I will place this rock there for you to find. I hope that my misfortunes will help you to decide your path—whether you will leave and save yourself while you still can or if you will join me in that monster’s wasteland. But, no matter how to choose to proceed, I leave you with one simple request:

Remember to live.

Also, do you think I can italicize the "Remember to live, Reysa" sentence in the part below?

I ran and I ran, out into that cruel canyon and through the dusty haze as quickly as my new body would let me. When I finally stopped, I stood for several moments, gasping for air. I looked around at the dismal land around me, and my new, weaker legs gave out from under me. I was in the midst of a torrential downpour, and large puddles had formed everywhere around me. As I sat there, watching the rain fall and the lightning strike in the distance, I planned my revenge on Karzahni. I sat there for what could have been hours, listening and watching and plotting, thinking with dread about the events that had transpired. A seemingly normal gust of wind blew past me. But as it did so, I thought that I heard it whisper to me.Remember to live, Reysa.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed. Yes, that indeed works better. I'm authorizing both of those edits now. Go ahead.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: No inaccuracies or errors were found in your entry. Unless another judge or member finds a problem later, your entry is likely to go on to the polls.

Good story. I especially liked the description of the realm of Karzahni and Reysa's introspection. I think you have a good chance of winning.

At least one inaccuracy or error has been found in your entry. After reading this judge post, you are authorized to edit your entry to fix these errors. After editing to fix these things, please post in the entry topic saying what you changed.

Grammar,

"but you’d need to be a De-Matoran to hear the loudest booms of thunder, if there even [color=#ff0000;]is[/color] any.""If there even [color=#008000;]were[/color] any."

Also, you don't have to, but I highly reccomend that when you describe the rebuilding, mention that Karkahni made Reysa exchange his mask, as he always did.

Unless someone wants to challenge me on that. I'm having trouble finding a quote in the text, so I could be wrong, but I'm quite sure that it wasn't just Jaller & co. but all of Karzahni's new arrivals who he made exchange their masks as a sign of leaving their old lives behind.

Unfortunately, I think it's part of the contest rules, that you're not allowed to specify exactly which mask he had or receives. It's a detail that the contest wasn't given persmission to establish.

Other than that, this was a great story. Very well written, and I always appreciate a story from the perspective of an otherwise minor character.

Takhamavahu, would this work? I haven't made any changes yet because I want to conserve edits.

I ran and I ran, out into that cruel canyon and through the dusty haze as quickly as my new body would let me. When I finally stopped, I stood for several moments, gasping for air. I looked around at the dismal land around me, and my new, weaker legs gave out from under me. I was in the midst of a torrential downpour, and large puddles had formed everywhere. I looked down at one; staring up from it was a completely different Matoran wearing a completely different Kanohi. I felt my mask. I wasn’t hallucinating.

As I sat there, watching the rain fall and the lightning strike in the distance, I planned my revenge on Karzahni. I sat there for what could have been hours, listening and watching and plotting, thinking with dread about the events that had transpired. A seemingly normal gust of wind blew past me. But as it did so, I thought that I heard it whisper to me.

In addition to adding the sentences in bold, I removed "around me" from the end of the "I was in the midst of a torrential downpour" sentence and I made the "as I sat there" sentence the start of a new paragraph.

Also, for the "were any" comment, can I change it to "but you’d have needed to be a De-Matoran to hear the loudest booms of thunder, if there even were any" instead? That way the tenses agree.

Finally, two more things unrelated to the comments:

Can I italicize the "I" in the following sentence? It was before I posted it, but when I did I had to rework the formatting and I missed it.

It was the fact that I was the monster, not Karzahni.

Also, should I decide to, can I put my banner at the top of the story? I know that it's allowed, but I'm not entirely sure if I need to get permission.

Dude. I knew you were good at graphic design and coding and everything else from your job at TNW and TCW, but I never knew that you were good at writing stories too.

Personally I don't remember who is who because I've forgotten so much Bionicle, but from a dumbfounded person's point of view, I was still able to make sense of the story, which can be hard to find in stories written about another thing with a story. Great job!

DISCLAIMER: All opinions and contributions made under this account are based solely on my own personal thoughts and opinions, and in no way represent any of the above groups/entities. If you have any concerns or inquiries about the contributions made under this account, please contact me individually and I will address them with you to the best of my ability.

Meiko, I'm glad you liked the story and that it was easy to follow! Anyway, Reysa and Gar are Onu-Matoran who lived in Mahri Nui. Both of them only appeared in one book, so I suppose they aren't the most major of characters.

The following comes from an authorized Contest Judge: No inaccuracies or errors were found in your entry. Unless another judge or member finds a problem later, your entry is likely to go on to the polls.

For the record, I am calling this entry good enough to go to polls. It appears all issues brought up have been fixed. Technically I guess this is just two approvals, though fishers also approved edits before being made that were made. And in any event I'm waiving the three-approval rule for some entries now anyways due to the time involved.

This is a brilliant entry. I love how you cleverly tied in all the aspects of your story into a meaningful message, and I absolutely adore your descriptions of Karzahni (both the being and the place). Even if it doesn't win, I think it would have made a fantastic addition to the canon. I cannot recommend reading this story enough.

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Keep in mind that if Star Trek fans had, as a group, said, "No point in talking about this anymore, it's never going to come back," it never WOULD have come back.