I've been thinking about it, and right now not much to say, but I'm hoping to discuss it with the people here seriously... it's been something (you can guess I'm sure) have been considering. There are some simple, and some complex reasons, why I haven't by now (simple, why I would = no quick and painless way other than jumping, and I have a sort of fear o' heights).

Also like to add, that I don't see a real point in going on life except a few things (one of them being, the creation of FS series), but....

"Life is pain, princess. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something."

Get a hobby. Or become a pothead and spend your life waiting tables. I'm jaded to the nature of your bitching, so while you get the same basal respect I'd give anyone, I don't particularly care about your personal plight. Fix that, too; find some friends or family who care about you as something more than just another person with existential doubt.

"Oh, you have promise. But wait until you have more years fall upon you, and you will see what a shell your heart will become."
-Kreia

And no, Lain, we're not giving advice on how to kill yourself . If that's really how you want to exercise your free will, that's your business, but I would suggest you stick it out several more years and see what adulthood is like anyway. Being a kid sucks.

"Oh, you have promise. But wait until you have more years fall upon you, and you will see what a shell your heart will become."
-Kreia

it would probably be a good learning experience; enough that if you would take that step, you would need that big a lesson that quick. but it wouldn't be quick, because to take that route would show how little you were experiencing from your learning anyways.

you would not be beating death, not even for your self. you'd still just be waiting to understand what is eternal, and there would still be a lot of you holding you back from self. it would seem better to comfort all the you's inside as you would wish god to comfort you, find peace and the silence, then go make that silence forged in peace for the you's outside of your self. and it's the same pattern described above, only you've already shed some of the you in the light of the self. the haze said there is only one commandment, god is one and only one, love thy neighbor as thyself. god's gonna is/was/be groovey no matter what, it's how close you get yourself to see. if you can be with nothing and have everything, what need you of anything?