When will you face yourself again? When will you face the fact you will never reach all you could be? When will you? Know that the higher you go the higher from there you have left to go. When will you face what was never there so you could see that nothing was missing? So, when will you? Do something about it. Do something of what was, is and will be. When will you realize who you are? You are you then, you now, and you tomorrow. When will you recognize your place? There, here, anywhere, nothing but a place to be. Sigh… When will you? Realize the path needs no choosing since you are breath. When will you realize there is no sides, arounds, aboves or belows? When will you? Right now. That is all there is when you have gotten here. Higher. When did you? When did you realize you were already there? When did you realize there were no directions? You are higher. You are already here.

Some people are born into this world to see other people. No mirrors invented… No close lakes or rivers to find reflection. Still walking the grounds of this place they are now in. Now another person found but not them. Who is to say they are their own reflection? So now who are each of them becoming? Now two paths to walk in, disrupts the thought of them going or coming. Who is to ask the other now to direct them? This is a contemplation we are in. Who is together with who we are within? Who is who outside us if not before from within? If one or the other claims a correct direction, who are they kidding? It’s amazing that the world starts within us and we walk thinking that in this world we do not fit in. The thought of being lost is seriously thinning. You were there all along, not in the other but in you, in the beginning.

Why do I suffer for a life you must pretend?
If you’re so proud why can’t you speak?
On the evil you create.

I’ll cut your heart and watch you bleed,
Closed circuit, stalked and faked.
There was a time not long ago,
Let’s call them golden days,
You drew a line I can’t forgive,

Now your chance has gone away.

I forgave this, I forgave that.
I pleaded and I begged.
And every time I cried out loud
You all just walked away,
And with no one to turn too
The rage just filled my soul.

Now all I can truly do
Is push to watch you go.

A broken heart is one thing,
A broken minds too far,
And when I snap they’ll never speak
On the demons that they are.

Sometimes I like to drift away
But I never hurt no one.
Chase a butterfly or two
And contemplate the sun,
And when I go we’ll all know
This secrets on the shelf,
And when I go I hope you know
You brought this on yourself.

There’s a strange peace and tranquility in the night, after the rumbles of the sounds penetrating through our hearts, after the trembles of the grounds dropping us as bound as living life without balance, after mentalities scattered, emotions busted, this day they cursed it, after the fear is removed as if just for a moment, the calm awaits, the peace behaves and greatly, it still seems so bogus, what’s a meaningful day with a broken focus? A strange peace and tranquility in the night, in the night. – R.J.O. Life

I am writing this letter to you because it has been hard to express anything lately. Thoughts not clear, words said but hard to hear. I chose you to tell because at the end of the day, you are my only ear. Words that are soft spoken, need to leave vocals broken. Clear waters are the main thing I’d like these words to soak in… You need to listen but respond as well. Let your words glissen . By now you should know all I mean is well.

The way is to make the way… Your way… Go the positive way… Take notes of ideas, words, Situations and seasons… Four is the connection number… Network your way there… Compounding is the best pick up… Eighteen is the unique success number… The drive will be the cause of the effect… Create your own reality… Look ahead… The way to do business… Like the American… Like the mafia… An I owe you always closes business… The law of attraction will be the memory… Start with what you have already done… Repeat this process throughout different projects.

When I write, does it have to make sense? And if it does will you understand? Just words that come written by hand, not words to sing in a band, but not saying that I can’t, every word deserves a chance. Another thoughtless line, well here we go again. If I sold my heart in words than I become the man! Singers and writers all start with their hands.

As I quickly turn pages to lay ink on, I realize the tear that never dropped was internal, and my heart lived for a moment more. The message in an old country song has moved it’s way inside me, in the middle of a rumble of emotions, remembering, reflections of the past, but the further back the deeper the pain. Just emotion? Things we can’t bring back but feel that are being released in a push of vibrations. The inside. Thinking we can renew or re-live life through our new story. Not the one told but one lived.

Oh dry veins to a cold rock solid disconnected and wounded heart, how have this come to pass? Where remains flooded with magma through connected tunnels of life, where the thumps of flowing lava against red live walls called attention of surrounding hearts in the past, how have you washed away flowing life and dried? Oh a dagger! Pierced! By the betrayal of another cold stone, and who’s cry? If not a loyal tear, for this heart’s died alone. – R.J.O. Life

Wonder what people will say like everyday. I can just imagine what will go through their brains when they know where I’ve spent my latest twenty something days. If this is part of lifes lessons… I wonder, is there any other way? Well if there is, I honestly do not know what else to say.

I usually have no caare to what others may say. As I grow I see my care free days have big delays. It was a young not care time but now I ask, where are those days? It’s not a confusion, more like a care fusion, since my fuck it moments are always still at bay. All i have is my decisions to what will change the next day.

Leaves that have lost true color, withered and dried. Who has overlooked the times when all that once lived now dies. Does it make sense to hear a grown mans moans and cries? When it has been foretold that Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter will pass us by. No doubt it feels as the coldest Winter. Pain flees as Spring enters. Hearts heal, rejoice and are re-centered, as new Life has birthed and now feels tender.

Time hurts more than anything when we think about it. When we felt or were made to feel was all in the past. Past is gone can’t have it back and that’s that. No fair games. Just next. Time is precious, but as I write this time is wasted.

You lived your whole life gang stalking me… Nice to know… Finally rolled down some speakers and pipes amongst the thin layered walls our government based building could acquire. I am actually not interested in knowing that your entire life was sacrificed in my name. See i, like any human being or neighbor chose to live and die for where i am from and all those i know. There is also a purpose in my life that lives through all of those who ever new my name or story. So all that ^ i just wrote will seem like a fine introduction to reality. See… Gang stalking has a title and representation… Which you took on as your own, and you know how i feel about things… Right and wrong doings… Choices… You have chosen. You are gang stalkers… I’ll write down what you chose to be… Rapist… Slanderes… Privacy killers… Careless… Child molesters and sex offenders… Identity thieves… Quiet murders… Humans who condone such things using people like me as a distraction… All wrongs in one title… Nothing else matters because we humans that have been naturally drawn away and separated from the choices we made or make know… What you are truly behind the smoke you create around mirrors… But i digress… I keep my mirrors clean and use them every day, and bless those who might let a spider weave it’s web on a corner of their mirror every now and then. I often have to hear you so-called neighbors… Josephine Nueze… Carmina Come Mierda Saltana… Carganell Resando… To say a few… And to those who are not familiar with gang stalking… It is not me hearing them by choice… It’s ridiculously by force… See i respect something called freedom of speech… I hear it everyday… Positive and negative criticism… But who are you? Do you think you are something special? How bad were you and your known gang stalker fake family fooled? That you have to force voice to skull technology, speakers and pipes… Use flashing lights… All that you could to torture… You think you can exercise freedom of speech by carving reloaded negative mind controls into my brain? So that you could secretly dump all your dirty personals in my dirty laundry? How dare does anyone who claim to have a better life raising kids like Iverson and his little sister have any right at all to have an opinion such as “you feed and rooftop your children with gang stalking money”…? Which is black market and stolen money from people who have actual lives working and studying and have no or some knowledge of gang stalking. You have all types of justifications, fabricated stories… Psychological babel… Nobody cares… Want to study human bodies and abilities? Go back to school if you haven’t already because they didn’t teach you what you were supposed to know… You have all these things you want people to live by or you want them to analyze about themselves so that they can hate what in their own lives have been forgiven… You judge and have only low goals and aspirations… It’s offensive alone to just have to use such two great words (goal and aspiration) to describe what they endure to keep stubbornly stretching fast towards self destructive behavior and still spreading it as well… As to theft, sin or get people to kill themselves… Lastly apart of condoning all the negative crimes hidden from the view of the people distracted… You finally kill the ones finally decided by you or any who you mind fucked or manipulated. You have been diagnosed by the people you gang stalked… Like you try to get them diagnosed and made to look like it is just a mental health issue… When all along they were chosen… Yes chosen like me… Not just targeted… The truth is that you pick people like me… People that have been misunderstood no matter how diligent the study of inside my mental or emotion. People like me know the differences between us so please cut short on the comparisons you retarded gang stalkers… I mean gang stalker money? You basically eat shit and drink piss… This post is also not for the weak minded that think this is a gang stalker talking to a targeted individual… This is for the real strong minded chosen individual who knows what a gang stalker really is and on top of that… Raising gang stalking children… Through a network they themselves have created… You gang stalkers are nothing to the point where i have to say my neighborhood isn’t even a neighborhood anymore because of you… You think you are security and peace bringers… I am here to remind you that you are delusional. You are psychopaths… You are worse… You snatch lives away but news flash… You have seemed to be set up… Caught in your own trap… A cat and mouse game you play by yourself outside for people to see? A kid innocently hurting them-self without cautionary conscience? Naaahh… Lol I told you exactly how this begins plays out and ends… No excuse… You simply cannot pass down anything good to others… Let alone pass down anything useful to your following blood line… A dying vein… Cancer… Just this morning i had a blast… My brain has been so infected by all of your mental and physical distortion towards me that i now feel it easier to tell you out loud again that all of your forceful damage means and does nothing to me but to fuel the capacity i cored safely within me to be able to kill and dismantle any roads you have carved anywhere to build. The anger and babel i have experienced in my whole comprehension to your ignorance have lead me to clarity thanks to having my own life choice to discern such destruction coming in a hollow storm from the other side of the earth. The difference between you gang stalking neighbors and i is that you hide… Behind roofs and walls and floors made of purified destruction machines to save yourselves from a storm you cannot measure and what you now view as your own termination. Me… I am a storm chaser… I’ll manifest my own disastrous storms and destroy them too… Mentally strong. See my brain is like a broken Chinese or a Japanese plate that is mended back together with gold… But you can only play in the mud… You that cannot even recognize we aren’t just worth being mended by dirt or what you eat (Gang stalkers re- read what you eat). I am what i decide to be. Truth of the matter is that you (gang stalkers) and so-called family and friend trolls… You have to eat that shit with sugar spice and a God damned grain of salt! Fuckers! You’ve been fucked and fucked again and will continue to be fucked because of your own choices to try and mind fuck someone with the biggest brain dick and no protection preferred type of person… (Saying this with the most upright respect one must first have within cores of discernment). Hence I’m a gardener too so i do cultivate and up bring all the seedlings with the straightest rulers we all get measured by… And water… And water them again. So to softly separate your delusions from reality and keep your attentive conscience in truth… You reap what you sow. You gang stalk yourselves… Having people think the damage caused to them by their own problems is a poor cover up because we all do that on a daily. Garbage! Blasphemy! Sons and daughters of the blood line of deceivers… We are givers and receivers. Hiding behind those more mechanical than Bill Gate’s walls you are only giving your voids and nothingness to human beings and receiving your own void and nothingness right back filtered through your black box receivers that saves part of the lives cloned, altered, and sold out and passed right under your nose as a reminder that the action alone was a subliminal message letting you know what you do not have… All the time wasted could not give you enough time think and let your brain know that you are nothing… Yellow stains on the walls and ceilings that’ll get painted over sometime when still! are not really thought about just wiped out.

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
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TODAY’S VERSE
“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” II Corinthians 12:8-10 (NLT)

TODAY’S THOUGHT
We all have different skills and abilities. Some are natural, some are learned but most are honed through experiences. Good experiences and bad help us mature and add to our personal development. From our experiences we can reach out and help others. Paul was going through a bad experience and God told him that He would provide all the grace Paul would need. Paul could then testify to others how God’s grace was all he needed. Thornton Wilder, in “The Angel That Troubled the Waters” writes about a Physician who wanted to be healed but God did not heal him. Instead an Angel came and said this to the Doctor, “Without your wounds where would your power be? It is your melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men and women. The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In Love’s service, only wounded soldiers can serve.” Henri Nouwen expanded this concept in his book, “The Wounded Healer”. He writes, “For a deep understanding of his own pain makes it possible for him to convert his weakness into strength and to offer his own experience as a source of healing to those who are often lost in the darkness of their own misunderstood sufferings.” Christ wants to allow His power to be used through your weakness. Bring your weakness and troubles to Him today and begin helping others in the way Christ helps you.

TODAY’S PRAYER
Father, You know my struggles, my weaknesses and my human frailty. I come to You and ask for Your grace to give me all I need to be a wounded healer. Help me relate how Your grace has been sufficient for me. May your power be manifested in my weaknesses today.
AMEN

TODAY’S AFFIRMATION & MEDITATION
God’s grace helps me with my weaknesses
In your mind come to Jesus with all your weaknesses. Sense His compassion and understanding. Feel the magnitude of His power as you stand before Him. Feel in your gut the fact that He wants to help, that He can help and that He will help you. His grace and strength will help you with your weaknesses.

TODAY’S VERSE
“I come to your altar, O LORD, singing a song of thanksgiving and telling of all your wonders.” Psalms 26:6-7 (NLT)

TODAY’S THOUGHT
The Christian life was meant to be a life of joy. God created us for joy. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be pain or suffering. There will be, but like a child who cries when it hurts itself, soon returns to joy in the loving and compassionate understanding of it’s mother, we too find joy in the loving arms of our Father God. It is this relationship with our creator, this love bond that He puts in our hearts through the presence of the Holy Spirit that returns us again and again to joy. That is why David could say, “Be glad in the Lord.” It is the knowing that God is glad to be with us, that we are loved beyond measure that allows us come to His altar singing a song of thanksgiving. It is this relationship of complete forgiveness and unconditional love and acceptance by God that has us telling others of His wonders. So today, know that you have a God that loves you more than you will ever know. Bask in the warmth of this realization so when your way gets difficult and you experience deep pain, you will be able to experience God’s loving presence and return to the joy you were created for.

TODAY’S PRAYER
Father, thank You for creating me for joy. Thank You for Your unconditional love that fills my heart and causes me, no matter what, to return to joy over and over again.
AMEN

TODAY’S AFFIRMATION & MEDITATION
I return to joy from painful emotions
See yourself in a quandary. Your emotions are escalating. You start to feel overwhelmed. But today you have a choice. You choose to trust God and commit yourself to Him. You choose to return to joy from your painful emotions.

TODAY’S VERSE
“I come to your altar, O LORD, singing a song of thanksgiving and telling of all your wonders.” Psalms 26:6-7 (NLT)

TODAY’S THOUGHT
The Christian life was meant to be a life of joy. God created us for joy. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be pain or suffering. There will be, but like a child who cries when it hurts itself, soon returns to joy in the loving and compassionate understanding of it’s mother, we too find joy in the loving arms of our Father God. It is this relationship with our creator, this love bond that He puts in our hearts through the presence of the Holy Spirit that returns us again and again to joy. That is why David could say, “Be glad in the Lord.” It is the knowing that God is glad to be with us, that we are loved beyond measure that allows us come to His altar singing a song of thanksgiving. It is this relationship of complete forgiveness and unconditional love and acceptance by God that has us telling others of His wonders. So today, know that you have a God that loves you more than you will ever know. Bask in the warmth of this realization so when your way gets difficult and you experience deep pain, you will be able to experience God’s loving presence and return to the joy you were created for.

TODAY’S PRAYER
Father, thank You for creating me for joy. Thank You for Your unconditional love that fills my heart and causes me, no matter what, to return to joy over and over again.
AMEN

TODAY’S AFFIRMATION & MEDITATION
I return to joy from painful emotions
See yourself in a quandary. Your emotions are escalating. You start to feel overwhelmed. But today you have a choice. You choose to trust God and commit yourself to Him. You choose to return to joy from your painful emotions.