Madonna Throws The Biggest Hissy Fit Over Cigarettes

Just in case you prefer to read what she said instead of listening to her bitch and moan like passive-aggressive five-year-old, here’s the gist of it:

“Someone’s smoking right now. No smoking. If you’re gonna smoke cigarettes, I’m not doing a show. You don’t care about me, I don’t care about you. I’m not kidding. I can’t sing if you smoke. Entiendes? If you love me then don’t smoke. No smoking! You’re looking right at me while you’re smoking cigarettes. Like I’m a stupid f-cking idiot.”

Oh, Madonna, bless your little heart. I am just so, so sorry that you had to deal with this! Imagine, people having the nerve to smoke in the same outdoors as you! It’s like, duh, it’s totally legal, and sure, they’re paying tons of money to see you, Madonna, the funky grandma herself, but why won’t anyone listen to you?! You even did the classic “if you love me, you wouldn’t do this” thing, which is so effective! I don’t know what happened, girl, but I think you were in the presence of monsters!

But for realsies, this is just silly. I don’t smoke, I never have, but I wouldn’t even act like this if someone was smoking six inches away from me, mostly because nobody died and made me queen of the whole entire world. If you’re smoking in my house, I’ll tell you not to smoke in my house, and if you’re blowing smoke in my face like an asshole, then I’ll say “stop blowing smoke in my face, asshole.” But people going about their business, smoking in a place where it is legal to do so, just don’t have to do what I tell them to do. And, on this level, at least, Madonna is no better than me.

I still can’t even believe she pulled the “if you love me” shit though. She’s so awful.

Oh, the hypocrisy. This ol’ bag has probably no issue with being hauled around in an oversized limo that belches a ton of emissions into the environment on any given day, but God forbid one of her nitwit fans light’s up a Marlboro.