at least by the way society looks at it

I don’t care whether you’re from Kazakhstan or Malaysia, China or India, whether you live in Europe or America or Africa. If someone tells you that you are worth less than them, look them in the eye and laugh.

We have the richest history, the most beautiful history, the least explored history.

We built and destroyed empires, survived war and revolution. We have destroyed stereotypes, created music, lived our lives to the fullest we can with oppression and racism lurking around every corner.

We have the power to over throw the world and change society, and we must not, can not, let the world dim that flame we have inside us. We must shed those western ideals of pale skin, high bridged noses and big eyes.
Our skin represents the way we can change, a beauty, our noses won’t break so easy in a fist fight, our eyes, keep the sand from entering during a sand storm.
They would have broken, had they faced what we must fight everyday. Asian girls, you are beautiful, do not let them decide what is beauty. Decide for yourselves, make the decision to look in the mirror and see a beautiful person. All of you.

so i was talking to my reflection in the bathroom mirror, like you do, and i said something that blew my mind.

I grew up with three brothers, kay? I was the only girl-child in my family and we grew up half a country away from any immediate family, so no girl-cousins to socialize with either. Just lil’o me growin’ up in a boys world.

And as a kid, that wasn’t even a thought to me. That I was a girl growing up in a boy’s world.

Sure I seemed more like a boy than my classmates when I started school, b/c I wore handmedowns from my older brother. But there was a word for it and for my rough-and-tumble behavior and for liking bugs and for being a girl but still putting myself on level with the boys. I was a tomboy.

(Well, still am, and bordering on the androgynous side most days.)

Anyway, talking it out to myself in the bathroom I said, ‘It was never anything like, I have a toy and Grant has a toy and I want Grant’s toy.’

‘It wasn’t like that. I didn’t want what Grant had, I wanted to know why I had a different toy.’ Which to me speaks leagues.

TL;DR

It didn’t make sense when I grew up that everything I shared with my brothers ended with the attempt at socializing me as an -absolute- girl. Like, no, if my brothers have the right to do this thing because they are boys, then I do too.

of course i drew the line at peeing in the boys room and stuff like that. I do have a sense of femininity.

You made your way up the stairs to Sebastian’s apartment, you two were in a private relationship, due to your large age gap of 13 years. You were 19, he was 32, you both looked past it but the face of society obviously would not, therefore, you two kept your relationship quiet.

When you opened the door of his apartment, you found him in his usual spot on the couch. “Hey.” You said, closing the door. He didn’t respond, only giving you a short smile. You frowned, “What’s wrong?” You asked, walking over to him.

He sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his head on your stomach. “What’s going on Seb?” You asked in concern, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know if this is working out (Y/N).” He admitted.

You bit your lip, knowing immediately what he meant. “For what reason?” You asked. He sighed, pulling away, “It’s just… I want to be able to express how I feel towards you without hiding them.” He said. You sat next to him, grabbing his hand, “Sebastian we can’t do that, your career-”

“Who gives a shit about my career (Y/N)?!” He yelled, standing up. “I love you, never mind the age between us, never mind the distance, never mind the people who try to tell us wrong from right!” He shouted. You shook your head, “Tell me you don’t want the same.” He spoke before you could.

You looked up at him, “… I don’t know.” You said, barely in a whisper. The hostility left his body as he looked at you, he made his way over to you, pulling you to your feet into a hug. He rested his chin on your head, “If you’re ready to do this, then I am.” You said, looking up at him.

“Are you sure?” He asked, you nodded. “Yeah, in all honesty I probably want this more than you.” You admitted. A smile tugged on his lips as he placed a kiss on your lips, “Then let’s do it.”

you changed my life, i stopped shaving because of your photo... it's been almost 8 months, i never expected i could feel so good about myself... thank you so much... :')

This makes me soooo happy! I felt the same way after I stopped shaving, like after I stopped hating my body for not being this fucked up society’s idea of “beautiful”, I felt soooo free. Like, doing something as simple as not shaving really does change lives ‘cause it makes you really look into yourself and second guess everything that you’ve been taught growing up. Or at least that’s what it did to me. (:

I know that some people like to rework through beauty through the concept of the ‘Ugly’; for me though, I much prefer the ‘Plain.’

I think the ugly is a different kind of sensationalization, or received as a Sight to Behold in a mad freakshow way. Plainness kind of subverts the Being Seen that accompanies beauty. Being plain means you are sometimes on the register, but there’s a lack of exceptionality that normalizes you and your naturalness. I think sometimes the fear of Not Being Beautiful Enough is accompanied with a sense of unease with being unexceptional. With beauty, there’s often the performance of excess or minimization (dramatic looks/natural looks//hyperfemininity/dialed back femininity//feminization of the very young). With plainness, not necessarily un-prettyness–just non-prettyness, you kind of escape the pressures of exceptionality but remain on the purview of society. There’s less of you to be objectified because the consummatory gaze is not invested in plainness that way (or at least a plainness that has to be packaged differently in heteropatriarchal standards). Men are plain everyday. I suppose just for women, our ‘naturalness’/plainness is read as nec ugly in a society of dichotomous beauty standards–where you’re either Beautiful or Not.

//In response to Mod Pinkie//I got offended by her rant because these type of rants prove that there's actual people who won't accept you if you are fictionkin or anything else,I once cried my eyes out because of all the homophobes posting lgbtqa hate pictures/death threats and other kind of plain offensive s*it. SoftFang didn't really offend me to that point but I still felt pretty bad about her opinion

Well, yeah, there’s always gonna be people like that. Some people are really set in their ways; they’d rather remove something they don’t understand from their life rather than try and make sense of (or at least tolerate) it. It takes time for society at large to accept things it deems unusual - look how long it took for gay marriage to get legalized! The important thing, I think, is to try and not take it personally. As long as you know who you are, everything will be alright~

I don’t have a perfect body, and I know that. I know that the images in magazines are impossible to achieve, and everyone says to “love myself for who I am.” As soon as I try to express myself, though, I’m attacked. “You have short hair? You must be a lesbian!” “Why don’t you wear make-up? It would make you look so much better!” “You could at least try with your outfit!” With everyone criticizing me for the way I am, I always feel insecure. I feel like people’s eyes are on me whenever I’m out. People ask me why I don’t “love myself”. Look around at society. When everything is wrong, how can I love myself? I’m taught from a young age that everything about me is wrong.

do you think the movie genre of romantic comedies and romantic dramas has helped or destroyed our culture's perception of how romance and relationships should be in real life?

When looking at Western society as a whole (or at least, Western society as filtered by the fact I’m viewing this as a citizen of the United States) I think it’s strongly influenced us in a way that has occasionally hindered how they should work, moreso at certain times in history than in others, but as of late the tide seems to be changing and it isn’t having as much influence as it used to.

In the 80s, when I was a kid, it was all about the women having everything, having the perfect home life with the perfect husband and perfect kids and perfect career. That was deemed the new fantasy of women in the 80s. In the 90s, which is when I started understanding them more, it was more that women wanted sensitivity and nurturing. They wanted to be swept off their feet. But lately it seems to be they want to have a nice balance. It isn’t necessarily about perfection anymore, but it’s about making sure that everyone involved is happy. That can be beneficial.

But then you have phenomenons like Twilight and 50 Shades and something that’s dark and twisted and packaged as romance becomes popular and this message goes out among the masses and things like that horrify me because people think that’s what all women want. “50 Shades of Grey” was packaged as a romantic movie with a Valentines Day release and it made millions and it just perpetrated the idea that abuse is romantic, and that is when the genre is detrimental.

I think the fact that most women I know both online and offline gushed more about “Mad Max: Fury Road” and are giddy about the new Ghostbusters movie more than they are whatever romantic comedy/romantic drama that’s out right now is showing me they don’t have as much influence on woman as they used to. To be honest, I watch a lot less romantic comedies then I used to, and the ones I watch now tend to have female characters who are either independent and strong from the start or become so over the course of the movie, and their love interest compliments them instead of completes them. I notice there are more movies like that that I can choose from (which I love) but still not enough to make me happy.

One of my favorite romantic comedies, one that I watch a lot, is called “Last Holiday” and it stars Queen Latifah. What I love about it is she starts off as meek and quiet, but it isn’t a man who causes her to find her voice (there is a man she’s got a crush on, mind you, but he’s really kind of tangential to the plot). It’s the fact she’s told she’s going to die soon of an incurable disease. So she finds her voice, finds her confidence, and when said love interest makes his big gesture she’s confident in herself enough to accept it and be open to it. Those are the kinds of movies that interest me these days.

It pains me every time I see a patient who just got his diagnosis and treatment prescribed by one of my senior female residents then the patient comes to ask for my opinion.

I try to reassure the patient that she knows way more than I do and that I learn from her not supervise her work, yet patients still want to hear the opinion of the tall male physician in a white coat and big lenses glasses who looks like he knows so much.

I believe that
at least I do my part in raising awareness of gender equality in my community in a field like medicine on a daily basis. It takes years to change the views of a society. We’ve come a long way in Egypt, but still have miles ahead to travel.

My gamer friends never faulted me for being more comfortable in my own head.

My tumblr community tells me not to bottle up stress. You look at me like a monster when I let the least of it show.

Is this what “society” means? That I will be judged by standards I do not understand, am not told of until after the fact, and must sacrifice my mental health to meet? That I must feign interest when conversation turns to topics I have no interest in, that I must set my default expression to a smile? If so, I reject it. I have no use for such a despicable thing.

You are right about one thing. The stars are very clear out here. According to an article I saw recently, there may be an Earth-like planet in every solar system. I wonder, do they have the same problems we do? Is there another adolescent looking up at their stars and down at me? If the two of us swapped places, would we find ourselves better suited?

I don’t think you’re abusive. I don’t think you’re a bad parent. But - cliched as it may be - I know that you don’t understand me, and that you will most likely never be capable of understanding me. You can be, and have been, a great help to me. You can be, and have been, a great obstacle to me.

Maybe someone else who I interacted with today is reading this. If so, I’m sorry if I offended you by not smiling widely enough, or missing some spot in the conversation where I was supposed to come in, or forgetting to say thank-you out loud, or just not talking enough. Really, I am sorry. It’s just how I am, socially.

I don’t know if anyone will ever understand me. But I feel comfortable around my friends because they understand that they do not understand me, and do not expect me to be something I am not for the sake of their understanding.

I think that the best way to describe this song is to just simply state the obvious: this album is named after it for a reason. the story behind it is a touch hilarious (at least to me, I don’t know if others feel the same way) while maintaining it’s serious and touching tone. The way I see it, he’s basically saying that he was born and raised in a family made up of people who society wouldn’t view as favorable. But he owns his identity and has faith that everything will work out when it comes to be his time to go. Whether that description is accurate or not, that’s how I look at it.

I have been sitting on this a long time, at least a month, actually. I have been turning it over and over in my brain trying to find the way to formulate the words to explain how disappointed I am and how excited I am at the same time.

If I’m looking honestly at how religion has looked to me for the past few years, I have been let down and confused and generally intrigued by the role it plays in how people understand issues, understand society, and understand themselves. Wanting to pursue a career in ministry, I honestly think about these things a lot. I think about the benefit of faith, the benefit of religion, the expectations we place on other people in our churches, the stereotypes we place on certain religions, the ways we subconsciously believe different things based on how we have grown up, where we have grown up, and the way we become a conglomeration of all our experiences.

I am astounded by both how much and how little I know about religions besides my own, and sometimes how little I know about my own too. I am overwhelmed by the idea of identifying as a particular religion, not because it’s impossible to agree completely with a religion, but because I think that religions are often not equipped to appropriately change with the times. Faith forms us, faith is formed by our every day choices, interactions, and experiences. But religion is a community we go into to find people to share our faith with. We set rules and understandings based on tradition, based on the Bible, based on the experience of the church as a whole and sometimes based on what changes in society. It’s a strange concept, and even those who are “religionless,” so to speak, still often stay within a framework. Identify with a set of beliefs–even if those beliefs are not having beliefs at all. Religion is how, for many years, we have classified ourselves, whether we know it or not. It’s a socialized concept and helps many people feel connected, understand how they view the world, and identify their humanity. It’s a beautiful thing–particularly in theory.

But I have been disappointed by religion recently. I’ve been disappointed by the way that people form opinions, and the way that they choose to share them.

About a month ago, the Supreme Court made the decision that people could marry whoever they wanted in whatever state they wanted. Obviously, on a personal note, this was incredibly exciting for me. If I end up with a woman being the person that I want to marry (which at this point, is a pretty good possibility, :)), I don’t have to move to a specific state to have a marriage be legalized. I don’t have to worry about the two of us dealing with custody issues of children if we weren’t able to be legally married to each other. I don’t have to feel like a basic human right–one that is rooted in love for most people who do it–is not available to me. It was a very real moment for me in realizing that there ARE human rights not accessible to certain populations, and our country needs to continue moving in that direction. I posted a status that day, intentionally trying not to be a boastful one about love winning, but rather, about human rights moving forward, and how there is still so much that needs to be done.

I will also be the first to say that I don’t need everyone to agree with me or understand the excitement that I feel about it. I don’t need people to believe the same things as me. I don’t EXPECT that. How could I expect for people of other belief systems or other ideologies to let me think what I think and respect me as a human for what I believe if I cannot let other people do the same? I am not out to convince anyone that they need to get on board with gay marriage, or get on board with something outside what their religion that they profess to or grew up in believes. That is not my purpose of this.

But there are some things that I would appreciate if people would stop saying–things people would stop doing.

1. Stop being upset that the government doesn’t align with one of your religion’s (and therefore most likely your) beliefs about an issue.

I understand that for a long time, for Christianity especially, church and state were very tied together. There was this idea of church and state remaining separate, but so much of the nation–particularly the lawmakers, were in fact Christian. There’s nothing wrong with that. But think, for a second, about what it feels like to be of a religion outside Christianity and having so much of the law that literally rules the land be opposite of what your religion says is true. Think about what it feels like to never have your religious holidays be national ones, and other things like that. It’s crazy to wrap our heads around the fact that people might not be the same as us–particularly if most of the circles we’ve run in are people similar to us. I can’t blame people for not thinking the things I think, because I’ve had specific experiences and places that I went that caused me to understand the world the way that I do. But I think that we all could stand to be a little more patient with the government being different from our beliefs, especially when the ruling the government makes is in favor of something fundamentally part of human rights.

2. Stop making the argument or expressing a fear that the supreme court decision on marriage is “taking away religious freedom.”

I’m sorry, but this argument is one I have trouble understanding. It kind of goes back to the idea that people are more upset that the government isn’t upholding their own personal beliefs anymore rather than the fact that religious freedom is actually being violated. Just because people around you have the right to marry, this does not play into your own personal religious freedom. The government is not asking churches to perform gay marriages. The government is not expecting Christians who don’t currently believe in marriage to commit to this new idea simply because it is now a law. And in fact, the argument that this decision decreases or takes away religious freedom is actually ludicrous because this decision INCREASES religious freedom. It allows people who are of different viewpoints, or religious backgrounds that support the rights of the queer community to HAVE THE FREEDOM TO BELIEVE WHAT THEY TOO BELIEVE. If marriage is not restricted by government, but by religions themselves, all religions then have the right to believe what they believe.

It’s fine, however frustrated the queer community may become, for people who have differing from the government opinions on marriage to be scared. Change is hella scary, whether or not people are often willing to admit it. A big change like this, in society and promoted by the government, is one that makes people wary. It makes them wonder if religious freedom will someday be infringed upon because people are now allowed to marry whoever & wherever. I respect that fear. But I cannot stand back and let people say that it takes away religious freedomwhen this decision by the supreme court does QUITE the opposite of that.

3. Stop saying that you’re afraid for America’s children or your children because of the Supreme Court decision on marriage.

Like I said, it is okay to be afraid of change. Religion is often how we define ourselves, and the people who are giving you push back for that are afraid, too–just of different things.

But when we say that we are worried about children growing up in a society where this is the reality, that’s making a lot of assumptions and presumptions about the way that certain things impact children and the way that certain things impact society, and even making assumptions about YOUR CHILDREN.

When you say you worry about your child growing up in a society where this is possible, you are saying that children who grow up with two moms, or two dads, or grow up with a transgender parents are not getting the life that they deserve. While it might be something different than you know, there are plenty of children who are not loved the way that they should be. There are plenty of children in homes with parents who have unhealthy relationships. But their parents having unhealthy relationships or not being good parents or not loving them the way they should often has NOTHING to do with what gender or sexuality they are. Don’t blanket children in those homes into the same category as abused children, or neglected children. It is not the same and it is unfair to all of those people being amazing parents to say that society should not have that happening.

If you are talking about your children growing up in a society where marriage is more than just the joining of a man and a wife, then there are a few issues that I personally have with this. You’re essentially saying that your religion might not be 100% convincing of the fact that marriage should only be the union of a man and woman and your child might believe otherwise. Is that then society’s fault that the “truth” your religion professes is not convincing enough to keep your child from being “brainwashed” outside of the church? I have trouble with this fear because it’s essentially the idea that perhaps your religious views’ definition of marriage that differs from the definition of marriage within society is going to be poisoned by society.

If you are in the belief that marriage is only the union of a man and a woman and you hold that to be truth, I completely respect you for holding to your beliefs. I’m not asking you to believe otherwise. But don’t tell me that the truth that I believe is poison to your truth. It is not poison, it is just a different truth. It is the truth I know based on who I am, the experiences I have had, and the life I have lived.

But most of all, I am most disheartened by this fear for the “children of America” not because of all these other reasons but because these children of America who might be “ruined” or “come to know a wrong sort of truth”..might be part of that queer community. And while they might spend their whole childhood growing up in a house, or in a religion where they know love, feel loved..they might also feel like God has made a mistake with them. Or that they cannot be fully who they are in society because of these people worried about them growing up the “wrong way.” That who they want to be, who they identify as inside, and who they understand themselves to be is fundamentally wrong according to the people who spend the child’s entire life telling them that they love them most. That is something that will take years to heal in a relationship–and that makes me fear for the children of America.

4. Stop making blanket statements for a religion or sexuality or something else that you identify as.

I have known a lot of people in the past few months to make statements on behalf of an entire religion. On behalf of an entire belief system. “I” statements are not just the way of community, but the way of the world. You believe what you do not because you are “fill in the blank religion,” but because you grew up with the parents you did or did not have, because you went the places you did, because you lived where you lived, because you had the experiences you had. You cannot speak for a whole religion, a whole age group, a whole ANYTHING. You can speak for you. And you can also respect other people for being humans and coming where they are coming from a lot more when we start speaking for ourselves. And not for anyone else.

5. Stop acting like America is so much better in terms of human rights because of this Supreme Court decision. Do not stop caring about human rights or care about only the issues that other people are posting on Facebook.

Not that this was the only cause that people cared about or anything. But I think there was and still is a difficult juxtaposition of issues brought up in regards to this.

In a very real way, I was made very aware of the exclusion in the queer community on the day that marriage decision came out. Since I most strongly identify as pansexual at this point–which I know for a lot of people is not something that they even know the definition or meaning of–it was funny to me that the social media/general world is trying to make an acronym that is more inclusive for the queer community. It’s most commonly known as the “LGBT” or “LGBTQ” community. More recently, they’ve created a more inclusive acronym. the “LGBTQIA+” community. Which in theory is a great idea. But identifying as pansexual, I have literally become a plus sign in the inclusive version of the community..

And I just watched a 16 minute video today (which trust me, I don’t watch youtube videos longer than 5 minutes usually) about all the issues that transgender people are facing in society, and I am frustrated by the fact that there is no middle ground on this. When the decision was announced, people on Facebook who are of the more liberal type were either saying “Oh we’re so proud to be American now” and so happy about the decision. They were essentially saying like “welp, now us liberal 20 somethings can be a lot happier.”

But then there were the other people saying that we need to not be too excited because there is so much still to be done. Which while I agree that there is still a lot to be done, why can we not revel for a moment about this step? WHY CAN WE NOT BE BOTH EXCITED AND MOTIVATED TO DO MORE.

And most of all, we cannot turn our backs on the racism or injustice still happening in our world–particularly in our nation–every single day. I think it’s easier for us, for our generation, to get on board with causes like marriage equality because it’s about love. Being on board and seeking justice for causes like poverty, racism, transgender issues, sexism, etc. are harder because it’s often about the pain in our world, or about hurt. But we need to open our hearts to this pain and this hurt because that makes room for more love to grow in our world.

We need to stop acting like only the easy causes are the causes worth posting about on Facebook or reading the news stories about. We need to stop pretending like society is a fair place to live for everyone in it–because it simply isn’t. And the sooner we acknowledge that, the easier it is to move forward in causes, in justice, in hope.

And that’s why I write things like this. Not because I am trying to shame anyone, or convince anyone, or really even to disagree with anyone. It’s because my beliefs are a huge part of who I am, and I cannot stay quiet. I cannot sit back and let other people say things that are so hurtful to so many people. That are hurtful to me. That are pushing our society in directions that I worry will be harmful to what I believe America’s children deserve, or harmful to the forward direction of a society that I would like to live in, or harmful to MY understanding of religious freedom. As I make these statements, I think perhaps I sound selfish. But maybe working for justice is a little selfish, because it means we care enough about ourselves to care about the world we live in. And that means–at least for me–caring about other people. Because I believe in a God that is not concerned only with my salvation and the salvation of all people, but in the liberation in the life that we’re living every day. And that is why I have to speak about this. This is why I cannot remain quiet.

I encourage you all to not only open your ears to listen to others about these issues, about what’s happening in society and how people feel about it, but also open your mouths. Share what you feel, and see where it leads you, too. Because every voice matters.

“Speak louder than the words before you, and give them meaning no one else has found. The role we play is so important: we are the voices of the underground.” -A Great Big World.

😭😭😭😭 he not getting out the car! Why would should he? shit I’d rather die in my car then shot in a jail cell now a days the outcome is the same at least in my car they have dash board and body cams maybe, it may be looked at I mean either way in societies eyes I deserved it 😒 #BlackLivesMatter

Inherently means from birth. Social norms are social (i.e taught) Please stop supporting bigoted beliefs and stereotypes through advocating them on your blog. Or at least learn the difference between genetic and social structures and their influence on human beings. Thank you. -From a cis white kid with a trans girlfriend

Inherently means in our basic nature (look up Tabula Rasa). It doesnt mean from birth. The post is saying that in our basic nature, the way we are raised, the society we grow up in, the opinions we’re exposed to, they all teach us racist homophobic and transphobic ideas. And thats the reality and to dismiss it is to invalidate the feelings of these minorities by simply claiming “no im not racist/homophobic/transphobic so my comment couldnt have insulted you.” And you should know that that’s bullshit. Just because you dont mean to do something insulting doesnt mean it isnt insulting. People need to accept the reality of the world they live in and they need to constantly question their comments and behavior because they really are INHERENTLY racist/homophobic/transphobic
Sincerely,
Dating a minority doesnt make you a minority

“To summarize the groundbreaking work of theorist Pierre Bourdieu: We don’t choose our tastes so much as the micro-specifics of our class determine them. To consume and perform online in a basic way is thus to reflect a highly American, capitalist upbringing. Basic girls love the things they do because nearly every part of American commercial media has told them that they should.

Basics are good and steady consumers of good and steady American businesses, which is another way of saying they’re good Americans. But to look around and realize that all of our lofty ideals about the rights of the individual under democracy have in fact yielded a society in which “choice” — at least for a certain demographic — is the difference between two forms of scented body wash… well, that’s existentially terrifying.

Instead of grappling with the fundamental principles that have wrought this system, however, popular culture has transformed it into a way of disciplining the women who manifest it most vividly. To call someone “basic” is to look into the abyss of continually flattening capitalist dystopia and, instead of articulating and interrogating the fear, transform it into casual misogyny. And that’s a behavior far more troubling — and regressive — than taking pleasure in all things pumpkin spice.”

“People are manipulated into thinking that there is only one standard of beauty. Even from the earliest age, girls understand that they are expected to be and look a certain way. The media creates images that influence society’s expectations, which is what shapes opinion. Females are given the highest expectations in society even though they are given the least respect. ” Luna, age 14 @huffingtonpost

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