Back in early February I fell in love with an online lookbook over at ShopRuche.com called "Hello, Sunshine." Both the photos and the outfits were so "me," and despite being in the doldrums of Winter at the time, I came down with a really bad case of Spring fever. In the delirium of my fever, I ended up purchasing most of the items from the lookbook. Not everything ended up working (those cute little sunflower shorts just weren't fitting over this booty and the pretty little cami that went with it could not contain the breasteses), but I did end up keeping a few items.

Luckily, all the items needed to complete today's outfit worked out. I guess it could be considered pretty lame to completely copy an outfit put together by someone else, but I don't see it that way. Whether you come up with a look all on your own, are loosely inspired by someone or something, or just blatantly copy an outfit you've seen, it's all good, just as long as you give credit where credit is due.

Speaking of giving credit, I'm feeling really isolated lately and just down right shit on by society. Quick, somebody break out the violins! Maybe that's not the case, maybe I've got it good, but it sure doesn't feel that way. It feels like it doesn't pay to be nice to people and to do the right things in life. It seems like no matter what I do I end up getting used and abused. People don't seem to care about the kindness I've shown them or the many years of hard work I've contributed. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not a saint or anything, but it's really difficult to continue being a good person when all I get is negative feedback. I find myself feeling really resentful of most people. Just their faces and the sounds of their voices make me angry. It reminds me of this line by The Doors, "People are strange when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone."

The way I see it, I've got 2 choices: I can continue to do unto others as I would have them do unto me, or I can start doing unto others as THEY do unto me. The latter philosophy is definitely against my nature, but maybe my nature is my problem. Maybe in addition to copying other people's outfits, I need to copy other people's attitudes as well. I was always taught that treating others the way I wanted to be treated would bring good things my way, but I'm really starting to doubt that life lesson.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just having a bad people day...or week...or life. Hopefully, everything will look better in the morning. If not, I think the best thing I can do is just "do me." If people don't like or appreciate me for who I am and the things that I do...well, who cares what THEY appreciate? As long as I appreciate me than that's the only validation I should need.

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Oh, Bonnie...I'm in that mood. I actually caught myself at my desk, gritting my teeth because if the girl down the hall clip-clopped by ONE MORE TIME in those noisy, annoying heels I was going to lose it! LOL As I told myself: Let it go...do some inner OHMs...something - don't be one of those people who just suck - there's too many of them already :o)

i know that feeling, too. i lost an old dear friend last week - after six months of being treated on-and-off like i didn't exist or matter to her, i told her that while i didn't need her to be there all the time, i at least wanted to feel like i was allowed to behave like her friend without being resented; she told me that she couldn't get over the "horror" of being witness to my isolation and depression, and that because i'd spent a year sitting up talking to her from a thousand miles away when she was depressed, i made her feel "guilty for not being a better friend" - and for that reason it was too hard for her to deal with me anymore. apart from grieving the loss of a ten-year friendship, i'm finding it hard to reconcile years of offering constant support with being kicked hard enough to bruise internal organs while i'm already down.

i think all one can do is stop pouring energy and focus into places that will only drain them, and try to find ways to enjoy your own company. if there are things you can do that make you content to be alone with your own mind... the world can take an awful lot from you, but it can't take that.