The Stroller: 'What a hoot!'

Published: Friday, February 28, 2014 at 3:15 a.m.

Last Modified: Wednesday, February 26, 2014 at 5:58 p.m.

Rodney Starnes of Spartanburg says that although he doesn’t follow Netflix’s highly successful serial drama “House of Cards,” which is entering its second season, he found it interesting to discover that the fictional Frank Underwood, the series’ lead role played by Kevin Spacey, lays claim to Gaffney as his hometown. “Congratulations, Gaffney, for that,” says Mr. Starnes. “The only problem, from what I’m hearing about this ruthlessly ambitious Mr. Underwood, is that he’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants. Now, I know some folks from Gaffney, having spent some time there, and they don’t seem to be that way at all. Anyway, I’m wondering how they feel about this dubious distinction, if any would care to respond. And what about The Citadel folks? Mr. Underwood graduated from The Sentinel, which is the fictionalized version of The Citadel. Evidently the series is catching fire, and ol’ Frank is quite controversial. What a hoot! Poor Gaffney. Frank found it stifling. Well, it is what it is — not for everyone but perfect for many.”

WHO DID IT?: Gena Moss hopes to track down the driver of the vehicle that took out her mailbox. “The incident happened in the afternoon of Feb 13, and I would like hear from anyone who witnessed a vehicle that went off the road, struck my mailbox and went up the bank at my driveway at 2351 Old Furnace Road in Boiling Springs and did not stop,” she says. “I would prefer that the person who did it contact me at 578-5971. This was not caused by ice on the road.”

‘ANOTHER MIRACLE’: Ben Cromer of Inman shares an amusing story about a woman who ran a red light and crashed into a man’s car. Both of their cars were demolished, but amazingly neither of the drivers was hurt. After they crawled out of their mangled cars, the woman said, “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we were meant to meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.” The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is demolished, but my bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to share this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” She handed the bottle to the man, who nodded in agreement, opened the bottle and drank almost half of the contents before handing the bottle back to the woman. The woman put the cap back on the bottle without taking a drink and handed it back to the man. Confused, the man asked, “Aren’t you having any?” The sly woman replied, “Nah. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”

QUIPS HAROLD METZ after seeing the newspaper headline that read, “Poll: Liberals, tea party agree”: “Although explained further in the article in relation to the National Security Agency, I never saw a more misleading headline in a newspaper. The newspaper actually does have a sense of humor ... or not!”

ODDS AND ENDS: Come on out to the Pizza Inn on East Main Street in Spartanburg on March 3, from 5 to 8 p.m., and help the Dialysis Clinic raise money for the 2014 National Kidney Walk. March is Kidney Awareness Month, and 10 percent of sales and all tips will be donated during the Pizza Inn event.

<p>Rodney Starnes of Spartanburg says that although he doesn't follow Netflix's highly successful serial drama “House of Cards,” which is entering its second season, he found it interesting to discover that the fictional Frank Underwood, the series' lead role played by Kevin Spacey, lays claim to Gaffney as his hometown. “Congratulations, Gaffney, for that,” says Mr. Starnes. “The only problem, from what I'm hearing about this ruthlessly ambitious Mr. Underwood, is that he'll stop at nothing to get what he wants. Now, I know some folks from Gaffney, having spent some time there, and they don't seem to be that way at all. Anyway, I'm wondering how they feel about this dubious distinction, if any would care to respond. And what about The Citadel folks? Mr. Underwood graduated from The Sentinel, which is the fictionalized version of The Citadel. Evidently the series is catching fire, and ol' Frank is quite controversial. What a hoot! Poor Gaffney. Frank found it stifling. Well, it is what it is — not for everyone but perfect for many.”</p><p><b></p><p>WHO DID IT?: <'b>Gena Moss hopes to track down the driver of the vehicle that took out her mailbox. “The incident happened in the afternoon of Feb 13, and I would like hear from anyone who witnessed a vehicle that went off the road, struck my mailbox and went up the bank at my driveway at 2351 Old Furnace Road in Boiling Springs and did not stop,” she says. “I would prefer that the person who did it contact me at 578-5971. This was not caused by ice on the road.”</p><p><b></p><p>'ANOTHER MIRACLE': </b>Ben Cromer of Inman shares an amusing story about a woman who ran a red light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars were demolished, but amazingly neither of the drivers was hurt. After they crawled out of their mangled cars, the woman said, “Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we were meant to meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.” The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to share this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” She handed the bottle to the man, who nodded in agreement, opened the bottle and drank almost half of the contents before handing the bottle back to the woman. The woman put the cap back on the bottle without taking a drink and handed it back to the man. Confused, the man asked, “Aren't you having any?” The sly woman replied, “Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police.”</p><p><b></p><p>QUIPS HAROLD METZ </b>after seeing the newspaper headline that read, “Poll: Liberals, tea party agree”: “Although explained further in the article in relation to the National Security Agency, I never saw a more misleading headline in a newspaper. The newspaper actually does have a sense of humor ... or not!”</p><p><b></p><p>ODDS AND ENDS: </b>Come on out to the Pizza Inn on East Main Street in Spartanburg on March 3, from 5 to 8 p.m., and help the Dialysis Clinic raise money for the 2014 National Kidney Walk. March is Kidney Awareness Month, and 10 percent of sales and all tips will be donated during the Pizza Inn event.</p>