Cowtown 1/2

Things I wish I had known before embarking on the Cowtown 1/2 Marathon:

1. Show up on time. Racing to the race only makes you look super hard core and makes your delivery a bit anticlimactic.

2. The numbers “4:00, 2:00, etc” are held up on sticks to indicate which squad you are supposed to run with so you don’t get trampled. You should know about how fast you can run before getting in with the big dogs.

3. The “4:00” sign was for the marathoners, not the half marathoners.

4. There are two types of under armor: one for extreme heat, one for extreme cold. Wicking the sweat isn’t a good feature for extreme cold. Besides, that weird second skin has a freakish quality that can make you look super skinny and super fat at the same time.

5. Gummy energy snacks aren’t meant to be eaten while running, no matter what the packet says. Frozen hands require about twenty minutes to open those ridiculous packets and then the gummy watermelons will stick to your teeth and somehow slide out of your mouth.

6. Water stations are not for the faint of heart. If you’ve never tried to take a swig mid-stride, you should expect a soaken bib for the rest of your sojourn. It will take you about three stations to realize the elite of the pack toss most of their water off to the side before putting a cup to their lips.

7. No matter how cold it is, a full North Face jacket will prove to create a situation of ‘extreme heat’ around mile seven; your new fashion statement will be clutching your jacket that doesn’t fit around your not super skinny waist.

I finished in 1:50:14…pretty good considering I had no idea that I could finish. I got an email this week with pictures from the event, the primary one being me with my eyes closed, exasperated in a fleece jacket. I would say that pretty much summed up the whole event.