Luke Plunkett

Two Crude Dudes is a terrible game. Just terrible. I remember trying to play it as a kid, on a number of occasions, and every time I picked up a controller I'd be floored by how poor it was.

So, uh, why did I keep picking up a controller? Because I so badly wanted it to be good. I mean, look at it! Look at that box art! Look at the name! It was called Two Crude Dudes, and this was 1992, and argh, why wasn't this game better?

Originally released in Japan in 1991 as Crude Buster, and as an arcade game called Two Crude, it got its house in order a year later when it was released on the Mega Drive/Genesis as Two Crude Dudes.

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Developers Data East had a stinker on their hands. Sound effects were awful, collision detection was a mess and those two combined made combat - fairly essential in a side-scrolling brawler - a chore.

But God, everything else about the game was wonderful. It was set in a post-apocalyptic New York, after a nuclear explosion (laced with chemicals!) turns the people of the city into what look like bad Ninja Turtles villains. So you go in and kick their asses.

The graffiti on the walls is amazing (BANANA! KISS!), the soundtrack is incredible. You were so strong you could pick each other up and throw your partner at the bad guys. And the box art, well. The box art is mostly what kept me coming back. It was like GI Joe and late-80s WWF teamed up and doubled their steroids doses.