Helping non-Saudis make an informed decision on marrying Saudis and living in Saudi Arabia as well as educating and advising them regarding the Saudi marriage permission.

About Me

I am a Muslim American with a BA in Anthropology from UMSL. Married to a Saudi and living in Saudi Arabia. Please take the time to vote in the poll below. If you like or admire anything on this site, please say barakAllahu 'alaiha and masha'Allah la quwata illa billah. Thank you!

As a non-Saudi married to a Saudi, I am blessed that my husband’s family accepts me and they are open to Saudis marrying non-Saudis. Other foreign wives of Saudis are not so lucky. From blog comments and in private e-mails, I get the gist that a non-Saudi Muslim woman can’t reconcile the reason of a Saudi only marrying within his tribe because it is simply from the culture and not from Islam. The other matter that I’ve learned from their complaints, is that they regard marriage as being between two people without interference from the family. Any person should have the freedom of choice to marry whom they want, without being bullied into a decision or made to feel they will be disowned by their family for that choice. Not all Saudis agree with this cultural tradition, but it takes a strong-willed man to stand up for what they believe in despite familial objections.

Unfortunately, the idea of a Saudi woman marrying a non-Saudi, is not nearly as acceptable as it is for a Saudi man. The resistence to this type of marriage is strong and could result in her male gaurdians preventing her, by withholding their consent.

Their motives may be for reasons such as the fact that the suitor is not her immediate cousin or from her tribe, or because they insist that none of the younger daughters be married until the oldest one is married, or keeping her salary if she is well-employed; or just because they want to excersize control over her.

It is understandable that a Saudi woman’s guardian has reservations that she may not be compatible with a non-Saudi due to cultural differences. If that is the case, why not at least meet the suitor, conduct rigorous investigations of his background and family, before making a decision or advising her on whether she should proceed to marry him or not? And why not be jubilant that someone good wants to marry her and start the wedding plans to help her fulfill half of her deen?

Abu Hurairah narrates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said “If someone should come to you whose religion and character you are pleased with, marry (your daughter) off to him. If you do not do so there will be mischief in the land and widespread corruption.” (1)

A young lady named Soba, has been struggling for a long time to get approval from her male guardians to marry an American. Her family does not want her to marry him because of “The difficulties non-Saudi children will face, and that they want a tribal marriage for her.”

When asked what she thought the solution to her problem should be, she replied that the government should treat Saudi women’s marriages to foriegners equally as Saudi men, in terms of a permanent iqama for the non-Saudi partner and to give the spouse the chance to become a Saudi citizen along with their children.

Maya also wants to marry a non-Saudi man from Yemen. Her family does not agree with this, “simply because he is not Saudi. The issues they are worried about include possibly living outside of Saudi Arabia and issues of nationality/custody of children in case of a divorce.”

She further stated that, “We have an overall negative view in Saudi society toward marriage to non-Saudis. In some cases, families are ashamed that their daughters are marrying a foreigner. People would then assume she couldn’t find a Saudi husband because there is something wrong with her that drove Saudi men away. Or they may assume that this is a love connection which is taboo in Saudi society.”

Marriage is a personal choice and a marriage partner should be chosen with a free will. Whether it is a tribal marriage, cousin marriage or marriage to a foreigner, it should not be forced upon someone or obstructed with the belief that this will prevent marital problems in the future.

Commonality is not always synonymous with compatibility. Neither should a person be coerced into a marriage to ensure bloodlines remain pure. No human race was meant to be a pure race nor their culture completely homogeneous.

For Allah created us from different nations and tribes so that we may know one another (2)

MashaAllah great to see you speaking up for us foreign wives in the newspapers! I hope to see more inshaAllah and I hope that eventually the right people will start to listen and changes will begin to happen inshaAllah.

I agree with all you said. No one can ever guarantee that a marriage will work out, even if it is to a cousin though I realise that often the stakes are lower when divorcing a fellow Saudi. But in terms of happiness and complete compatibility in marriage, nothing is guaranteed. I agree that family should be involved in choosing a spouse, but they need to be reasonable and what that means is clearly defined in the religion we all profess to follow. Before dimissing someone purely on their nationality, is it not wiser to at least meet them before deciding they are incompatible with your child or dismissing them as being incapable of adapting to a new life in KSA? We all seem to come under this banner of ‘non Saudi spouse’ which contains so many negative implications but does not at all take into account the diversity of the people it describes. People should be judged primarily on their deen and character as our Prophet pbuh advised us. Cultural background is not to be completely ignored but it shouldn’t be the primary consideration.

The whole pure blood thing really bothers me as well. The Prophet pbuh married from outside himself and he arranged marriages between those of different races, ages and social backgrounds. Mixing is natural and beautiful when it happens despite some of the difficulties it can involve at times. And at the end of the day, even if you have to go back countless generations, we are all results of inter-marriage at some point. Yes, even you ‘pure’ Saudis!

Oh snap I could have included the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him) marrying an Egyptian! I wrote a blog post about it a while back. Hmmm maybe that will be the background for a future article on Arab News.

Insha’Allah the right people will listen with an open-mind and have a level-headed reaction.