internal monologue externalised & mispelt: ramblings on high fashion, food, art & other filth from a Londoner with a thing for cake, couture & cock-tails.
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every 6 months"
Oscar Wilde

April 2013

Apr 30, 2013

Finding a good pair of jeans is an eternal battle – but I’m a bit obsessed with MQT’s raw industrial denim & chino collections. They are, as those three letters denote, Masters of Quality and Tradition and the AW13 collection is engineered with a timeless vintage aesthetic.

This season’s collection has a range of new washes and cuts from ‘ultra skinny’ to ‘tapered drop-crotch’, and ‘bootcut’ to ‘vintage slim’ - each pair being treated with a dyeing and washing process, that varies its colour and makes each one unique.

The family run company was built based on the principles of quality with every garment put through vigorous tests.

Also love that they've got Ben Smallwood fronting this campaign - the skinny jean is well and truly back (never went away if you ask me)...

Apr 29, 2013

Does every girl deserve a happily ever after ending on her wedding day? Fuck no – not every girl. Misery should reign in some cases I say. Especially on wedding day’s of the slightly deranged - because when it comes to style, an unhinged woman scorned is far more of an attraction than a vacant woman indulged in her foppish Mr Darcy fantasy. In fact for me, THE greatest character in English literature of all time has to be Dicken's Miss Havisham - representing a very British eccentricity that only pure pain can have caused. Extreme pain. To a woman. The kind that is unbearably searing. Excruciating. Agonising. Violently stabbing. That has to have revenge. And eventually leads to self-inflicted death.

At 8.40am on her wedding day, Miss Havisham received a letter from the man she was expecting to greet her at the end of the aisle in a matter of minutes. She had been gilted and from that moment onwards she stopped time dead in its tracks. Actually stopped it. Froze everything in that moment forever. All of the clocks in her house were deadened at 8.40am, never to tick a second further. She lived her remaining days in her wedding dress – and left her wedding feast out to rot - for the rats and moths and spiders to gorge on - decaying with it like a mould infested cake...

Such was her state of mind that she then adopted a daughter, raising her in such a twisted fucked up way that she "stole her heart away and put ice in it's place". Through her daughter’s cold heart, Miss Havisham scorned the world, scorned Pip, scorned her ex-husband-to-be and scorned herself. Yet whilst the clocks may have stopped, time did not. She grew old. And eventually set fire to herself - dying of a broken heart and melted throat. Tragique? Oui. But a woman who lives bitterly suffering and tortured forever in her cursed wedding dress, is surely the ultimate in a style statement.

I have something of an obsession with the Yiqing Yin SS13 couture collection. The Chinese born designer aims to create a garments that “protect and reinforce, being at the same time a second skin and a supple armour”. She looks to sculpts the emptiness around the body “searching for balance and points of rupture between the flowing zones and the sculpted zones”.

It's too brilliant. If I’m ever a bride, Yiqing Yin is what I’ll wear. After all, the best form of revenge against a man is to look fucking hot, let the rats eat you and then go up in flames with the fuckers money in your pockets, laughing your way to hell!

Apr 24, 2013

There are few things more disheartening than having that euphoric “look at my shiny new things” feeling rained on by a massive cloud of woe, when you realise that everyone else in the world has gone out and bought the exact same t-shirt / shoes / coat / sunglasses as you, and is proudly parading them around Regents Park in the sun for all to see; making YOU look like YOU'VE copied THEM. Exclusivity counts for a lot – and luckily this summer the Jigsaw Menswear design team is adding three exclusive handmade jackets to it’s SS13 selection with only 10 of each piece having been produced. What’s more each has a unique Jigsaw Limited Collection label to prove it.

Available online and in selected Jigsaw stores, they’re bound to sell out quickly – and pretty much guarantee you can ride that “look at my new thing” wave all summer long without the rest of the world raining on your shiny parade!

Apr 21, 2013

Back in the 16th century - not content with having to worry about death by means of whatever it was that people in them days died of, gentry folk had paintings done in the Dutch 'vanitas' style to constantly remind them of the futility of life and the inevitability of death by any means. These vanitas paintings - still lifes in essence - featured skulls, hourglasses, fruit, flowers, books, musical instruments, scrolls and well - erm - anything else 'material' - all beautifully displayed together to be proudly placed upon yonder wall above the fire and next to the stag from yesterday's hunt for all thine fellow gentry to come and view and be jealous of.

Why? Well, these vanitas paintings sought to provide a moral justification for attractive objects. For things. Stuffs. Nice stuffs. Designer stuffs. Lovely nice shiny designer expensive nice lovely shiny nice shiny shiny nice stuffs that's expensive and nice and shiny and nice and expensive. The Latin word VANITAS actually means "emptiness" and somehow loosely translated
corresponds - in the art context - to the meaninglessness of earthly life and the transitory
nature of all goods and stuffs and things and pursuits and basically everything. It was kinda like the purest form of vanity in a painting - emptiness and worthlessness - just you and your things and a skull to remind you you're dying from the day you are born - immortalised for all to see in a still life and still existing after you are gone and dead and no longer there and dead and gone and dead and dead and gone and dead.

A mirror of who you are - only more self obsessed than a mirror - it was who you projected yourself to be on the walls for all who came unto thine castle. Effectively these paintings pre-empted social media - it wasn't you in those paintings, it was who you wanted people to think you are. Complete vacuous narcissism, yet somehow humbling in that the vanitas painting by it's very existence as a thing itself meant that you accepted - that yes you too - like everyone else - will one day die. The pleasures of life only last whilst they last. So fucking enjoy them whilst you can. Get fucked. Spend. Fuck. Get more fucked. Spend more. Eat. Fuck. Spend. Get Fucked. Buy. Consume. Buy and then go fuck again! WOO! (then spend again)

I've spent the last few days being intrigued by what a contemporary vanitas painting would be. And indeed if this tradition has continued at all - a curiosity that has presented me with this image:

Does it justify disposable living? Does it say - yes, consume - you're gonna die, so why not? Is it primal? Is it uplifting or depressing? I'm not really sure to be honest. Yes it's tongue in cheek - but i suppose there is beauty in a burger, an iphone, a line of K or three, a porno, a Stella - well in anything - when presented in the context of futility. When none of it matters in the end - none of it matters now. And so taking pleasure in it now is neither pointless, meaningful, indulgent or of any spiritual substance. It's just nothingness.

I'm not sure what my personal vanitas would feature. A cello perhaps. Some impossibly intricate Junya Watanabe construction of form and beauty? Possibly. Pornography. I'd say yes. Food. Lots of food. But i guess, it's all nothing. And so to the point of this ridiculously wanky post which to be honest, i'm not even sure i get myself. Things are just things. They have no point. No matter. No purpose in the end. So indulge in the now. It's all nothingness anyways...

I want this incredible printed parka by german designer Micheal Kampe. In the vanitas context it is just nothing after all. Quite literally. Nothing. Empty lovely expensive beautiful nothing...

Apr 18, 2013

Despite my fondness of self-indulgent waffle in my usual blog posts - this is one that needs no words. Raf Simons has designed an exclusive capsule collection for Mr Porter AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING...

...i genuinely have no words... it's all encompassing incredibleness has silenced me... i know... it's out in May... there's 13 pieces... including some high-tops... and Kurt Cobain was the inspiration for the grunge florals... *explodes*

Apr 16, 2013

From the garish (Versace) through to the summery scarf like (D&G); the k-hole inducingly psychedelic (Basso & Brooke) through to the classically floral (Prada); the paint splattered (Christopher Kane) through to the graphic (Jonathan Saunders); and the tongue-in-cheek comedic (Kit Neale) through to the modern takes on Maimi Vice (Agi & Sam) – today’s British man is presented with a smorgasbord of prints for his delectation. And should he be confident enough in his stylistic convictions to brave them out amongst the grey-skies and beige-brigade that overshadow Old Blighty, the sartorial rewards for the print-embracing adventurer are amongst the highest – as this Gent below proves…

The printed blazer and indeed the full printed statement suit is one of the key menswear trends for SS13. The bolder the pattern the better - especially when intricate details are set-off by bright primary colours, like this striking blue. Floral and paisley motifs in combination create dizzyng ethno-heritage-roccoco patterns - but the brilliance of this look is that they are contained within block panels, bordered by those red boxy 'frames'. In essence, they tame and give shape to what could otherwise be an over-saturation of colour - with the muted white shirt and tie allowing the intricacy of the pattern to shine through...

...cleverly this is echoed on the back, where the borderless circular blocks of blue, again prevent this being overbearing.

The final look is one that speaks of an individual flair, distinguished personality and fashion confidence that challenges traditional tailoring by ripping up all the rules - and yet somehow maintaining them all at the same time. It really is quite exquisite. Snapped and off to printers!

Apr 11, 2013

Outerwear. During the course of this winter that just won’t DIE I’ve found myself having a new found appreciation for this. And I don’t mean my usual ‘deconstructed cape coat with random bits coming off here and there and leather straps and a snood and a carousel and a musical theatre on the side’ outerwear. But functioning beautiful outerwear with a purpose that it really actually fulfils - whilst still being aesthetically beautiful to wear.

Christopher Raeburn and outerwear have, in a few short years become synonymous and the roots of his AW13 collection are founded in imagining a life of survival amongst formidable condition in the Maunsell Sea Forts – naval defences off the coast of sunny Whitstable.

This is a fortified winter collection – where style, provenance and function are paramount – celebrating the character of the British naval landmark. I won’t go into the technical details – but suffice to say, it’s a collection that’s full of “detachable quilted inners lined with post-consumer recycled materials”, “surplus Danish military blankets” and “re-appropriated vintage fabrics”.Serious stuff, but visually it’s all lightened with graphic prints of semaphore and 1960’s maps, block colours especially primary red and English crafted accessories.

The end results is a selection of Parkas and Bombers and Duffles and Suit Jackets and Reversible Parkas and Gilets and Mac and Hoodies that have all the utility, engineered function and military precision that outwear commands, but a playfulness and sense of exploration that the outdoorsy man wants.

Apr 10, 2013

The interesting thing about Miuccia Prada, is how she is obsessively drawn to bad taste and seeks to find beauty in it. This is why recent collections have had random banana monkey's, golf socks and garish 70's jacquard prints. It shouldn't work - but she makes it - she makes it her mission to make it. I don't like Prada pre-fall 2013 at all. And i really dislike this campaign visually - shot by Steven Meisel and starring models Amanda Murphy, Irene Hiemstra and Vanessa Axente. But there's something strangely alluring about it all regardless...

The slick back hair. The dishevelled gingham. The totally bizarre over sized shapeless jackets. The completely generic Prada bags. It just doesn't work - but in the context of Miuccia, the very point is that it questions what work's - and then somehow completely flips you into evangelically loving everything about it. Confused? Yup me too - but with Prada, it's this state of flux that is precisely what makes it (un)chic. Love. Hate. Obsessed. Repulsed. Vile. Beautiful. All of the above - but either way, there is no doubt that it is all completely brilliant.

Apr 05, 2013

The romantic grunge girl – THIS for me is what autumn 2013 is going to be all about. You already know of my complete obsession with THAT Saint-Laurent collection. But I have even more of a fixation with the incredibly romantic grungey woven-crochet and knit jumpers by Austrian designer Micheala Buerger.

A former student of Raf Simons, Micheala aims to create garments that rise above the fast moving nature of fashion fads. What’s more, she’s a huge muso – in her own words: “Music is always in the air while I create” – and for her autumn collection, the music in mind was the likes of Pearl Jam, Hole, Nirvana, L7 and Veruca Salt.

Apr 02, 2013

“Floriography” was the Victorian means of communication where floral arrangements were used to send coded messages. This was an era where speaking about ones feelings was just not the done thing amongst the respectable classes – no no honey – mmmhmmm – not here please! It just was not the social etiquette of the day. You were mute and emotion void – with lovers forced by prudish society to keep their feelings a secret. And thus, flowers allowed individuals to express feelings which otherwise could not be spoken – and the most powerful of “words” amongst the floral vocabulary was the red rose.

No other flower could sing (to quote G. Barlow OBE) A Million Love Songs in just one passionate petal. In fact even before the Victorian era, the significance of the rose was poetically demonstrated – with Cleopatra using red rose carpet to be unfurled from upon her arrival to Anthony – and we all know what THAT led to (some serious fucking and a fair few deaths!).

Over time, the rose has kept it’s connotation as the universal symbol of deep love that will stand the test of time for ever and ever and eternity always never ending ever in love for ever. It’s the colour of sex. Of attraction. Of passion. Of lust. Of desire. Of craving. Of heroism. Of romance. Of possession. And most excitingly of danger – the kind of danger you’d associate with the insanity of a true love that is stronger than thorns and can outlive all obstacles.

It’s this almost satanic passion fuelled lust, that wonderfully adorned many of the AW13 collection where the rose took centre stage as the flower of the session. Pretilly repeated in red and pink hues at Givenchy on tough hard-edged biker leather...

And most incredibly, lavishly adorned like a bright bleeding heart at Thom Browne...

I totally love this trend.... and as you all know, that big Beast had until the last rose petal fell to find true love, and he did, and turned into a handsome Prince and married Belle and they had a big feast where they sang 'Be Our Guest' - i bloody love history sometimes!