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Give me a break...

I've been married to my husband 3 years this month. In that time I've gone "out" with my girlfriends ONE time. That one time was just dinner and a drink too, I was home by 11. My husband, generally a reasonable, family oriented man refuses to keep the kids so I can do anything "fun" without him. I don't get it. It's not that he's uncomfortable watching our little ones, he used to do it when I was in school... It's more like he's jealous, but I don't get why. I never object to him playing golf in the summer so I suppose I don't see how it's unreasonable to ask him to keep the kids while I go for coffee once in awhile, or in the case of this evening ask to go look at a wedding dress with my best friend. Do you? Anyone else just feel smothered....

Why are you ASKING? TELL him, "I have to go with ___ tonight to help her look at wedding dresses. You're watching the kids, and I'll be back by 9. Love you!"

by Anonymous 2
on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:20 PM

Oh damn that makes me so sad because I was seriously offering to babysit...not! If you can't put on big girl panties and tell your dh he is watching the kids while you go out that's your problem!

Quoting WithHope:

Absolutely not. My have never been left with anyone other than my spouse, our parents and one friend, and I certainly wouldn't consider leaving them with someone lacking basic manners! I'm simply venting and attempting to determine if his reservations regarding me spending time with friends (without him) is normal. Most people seem to have understood that, and gave pretty good insight!

I work first shift, going in to work long before he and my little ones wake up so he can do what he needs to to finish school and get ahead, without compromising our kiddos upbringing more than we have to. I also do some grant writing from home and he's pretty good about recognizing & appreciating the weight I pull. Like I said, my husband is usually a reasonable, family man... This has just always been a sticking point in our relationship and really got under my skin tonight! We'll no doubt talk and get through it though, seems other husbands (at least initially) are resistant about it too. Thanks for sharing thoughts & experiences!

Quoting Logan_Bellasmom:

that might have something to do with it...Do you work? If you dont maybe he doesnt feel like what time he does have free he should be taking care of the kids?

Quoting WithHope:

That's pretty much what I did. When I asked it was in regards to his availability as he works 2 jobs and goes to school... But when he responded with an attitude it just kind of spiraled!

Quoting Logan_Bellasmom:

Why are you asking him to take care of his children? Why is it even an option? You tell him im going out ill be back later and leave.

Sorry to hear you weren't actually interested in babysitting. I was just thinking about the kid in Charlie in the Chocolate Factory being transmitted through telephone wires and pondering if I could do something similar, via the Internet. Way to crush my hopes...

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh damn that makes me so sad because I was seriously offering to babysit...not! If you can't put on big girl panties and tell your dh he is watching the kids while you go out that's your problem!

Quoting WithHope:

Absolutely not. My have never been left with anyone other than my spouse, our parents and one friend, and I certainly wouldn't consider leaving them with someone lacking basic manners! I'm simply venting and attempting to determine if his reservations regarding me spending time with friends (without him) is normal. Most people seem to have understood that, and gave pretty good insight!

I took care of that problem about 4 years ago. Mine would blow up my phone and make me walk on egg shells. I told him to get the fuck out.

I am my own person, I will do what the fuck I want and if you have a problem with that. There is the damn door. Because I came in this world alone and I will leave alone there FOR I will do what the fuck I want to..

He hasn't thrown a fit since.

by Anonymous 3
on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:39 PM

Stand up for yourself. Hand him the children and leave. You don't ask to go with a friend to look at wedding dresses. You tell him you are going.

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