Soldiers playing with knives is one of the oldest Hollywood cliches in the book and is an instant warning flag to everyone that what follows will be tacticool nonsense rather than a plausible action sequence.

Dialogue from two different characters is generally written into separate paragraphs, so you don't confuse people about who's speaking.

"Colorado Canyon", to the best of my knowledge, isn't a thing. You also mention Grand Canyon later on, so consistency issue?

Why are we employing people who ritualistically cut themselves? That would be cause for a psychiatric evaluation.