My beds project is finally over it started on 12.2.2011 and ended on 4.2.2012 so I did not fulfill my intention which was to do the project exactly for one year. The reason is very simple, I forgot my camera in Vienna the morning we were flying to Sri Lanka which makes those missing days. As well I did not take the photo every single morning, either because I happened to unexpectedly sleep in a unexpected place and had no camera with me or for some other similar stupid reason. Through almost one year I slept in 34 different beds….some of them brought me night mares, some of them sleepless nights and some of them felt just right. As I look at the whole set now, I could even tell how many nights I spent with Mr.B by my side :). But to be sincere I m happy it is over, because to clean the negatives with only beds on them is the most boring thing I know. That is also the reason why I m posting the last series with couple months delay. Since I finished beds I was not working on any daily based project…I really needed some rest from that almost burden like feeling. But now I’m slowly starting to think about something new which would connect me with every day reality…..let’s see

…….in a subtle way, this loss of public space occurs contemporaneously with the loss of private space. The one is no longer a spectacle, the other no longer a secret. Their distinctive opposition, the clear difference of an exterior and an interior exactly described the domestic scene of objects, with its rules of play and limits, and the sovereignty of a symbolic space which was also that of the subject. Now this opposition is effaced in a sort of obscenity where the most intimate processes of our life become the virtual feeding ground of the media. Inversely, the entire universe comes to unfold arbitrarily on your domestic scene. All this explodes, the scene formerly preserved by the minimal separation of public and private, the scene that was played out in a restricted space according to a secret ritual known only by the actors……We are no longer a part of the drama of alienation, we live in the ecstasy of communication. And this ecstasy is obscene….But it is not only the sexual that becomes obscene in pornography, today there is a whole pornography of information and communication, that is to say, of circuits and networks, a pornography of all functions and objects in their readability, their fluidity, their availability, their regulation, in their forced signification, in their performativity , in their branching, in their polyvalence, in their free expression. It is no longer then the traditional obscenity of what is hidden, repressed, forbidden or obscure. On contrary, it is the obscenity of the visible, of the all-too-visible, of the more-visible-than-visible. It is the obscenity of what no longer has any secret, of what dissolves completely in information and communication……

from Baudrillard – The Ectasy of Communication

it is very interesting to publish my beds after reading the whole text from Baudrillard….makes me think and wonder and think and wonder….my highest recommendation to give it a bit time and read and think and wonder about it

I’m sick, stuck at home, so I finally found the time to do the beds…I m about to lose my voice, Mr.T hates me because of super short walks, he keeps sitting on the kitchen window looking outside….once he looks like old fat cat and than as a deeply depressed suicidal dog….september is over…I’m going back to Vienna soon and have to admit that I’m looking for it very much…I have loads of ideas but 0 energy to do something about it….autumn is in the air…I can smell it….love how it feels in the evenings and early mornings….we ve seen a documentary about Bill Cunningham – New York and I was impressed….can anyone tell me how it works with the life energy…..Mr.Bill had no love relationships and has more energy than me + Mr.B + Mr.T together….so what about all those women magazines telling us every month how sex is most important after looking good and being IN of course :D

… we’r staying in Kraliky for couple of days now…I love how green and quiet it is…and even more I love the fact that I don’t meet people…people walking on the streets, talking, people running, people standing on bus stops, people waiting for subway, shopping people, ugly people, fat people, stinky people, loud people, strange people, nice people, people eating on the benches, people on bikes, people smoking on the streets, people sitting in cafes, people staring to nowhere, people talking on the phones, people making incredible noise and chaos…I’m watching Zofka, sitting quietly in front of the house, watching the street, counting those 10 cars that drive up the village a day and thinking about the wonders of the earth…sometimes she gives me these questions like :”Where all that water comes from? Where is the middle of the earth? Why those stars don’t fall down on us? What are stones made of? ” …. and I think about the book I finished months ago, but I keep coming back to it in my mind…at the beginning I was very sceptic about it cause the name is The history Of Love and when there is a book with such a title written by woman – Nicole Krauss, it it extremely high chance it is gonna be a disaster…but it was not…good I gave it a chance….

……..”Then one day I was looking out the window. Maybe I was contemplating the sky. Put even a fool in front of the window and you’ll get a Spinoza; in the end life makes window-watchers of us all.”……..Nicole Krauss – The History of Love

This post was supposed to be posted much much sooner…..the same day as I finished this film I ran to have it developed …. that was 14th of april. Since I usually have the films developed in Poland I was truly shocked as the guy in small print shop in Vienna told me that it is gonna cost me 5 euro …… for a moment I was thinking to fuck it and wait until I get to Warszaw, and develop it there together with 4 other films for same price …. but after all I decided not to be so materialistic and think more about the possible stagnation of my blog….I said Yes please do it :) ….. and that was a major mistake !!! Film was developed in 20 minutes, I ran home to scan it before the classes, thinking that I might be able to post my beds in the evening….BUT the guy in the shop did not tell me one crucial information. For the price 5 euro I did not only pay for developing…..there was something extra to it …. very cheap training of concentration, perseverance, stress handling and dealing with strong symptoms of aggression. I would actually call it 4 euro meditation-joga-zen course. This way I would like to thank to Bildermacher company for giving me a chance to explore how it feels when it takes u more than one month to clean one film from dust and scratches. I have to admit that this post was born in tears, and if it was not those beds on the film I would have thrown it away on 14th of april. But today I finished doing something that seemed to be impossible and I feel very oooohhhhmmmm………

every morning when I wake up next to Mr.B we have the same conversation

Mr.B: I had the craziest dreams tonight again.

Me: What were they about, tell me.

Mr.B: I don’t remember…I just know they were completely crazy

So I was thinking that actually the only tangible evidence of what we dream about is our bed in the morning. Sometimes everything may look almost untouched, other times it’s battlefield on which we were fighting with all the surreal monsters or where we were falling from sky scrapers….But that is another story, these photos are only to remember all the beds I slept in….

I don't want my life to be a reason for other's life to be a suffering that is why I am vegan and that is how I want to raise my son. I love my little family, birds, rainy days and life on the road. I believe in life before death :).