The Fingertips Project: Fingertips (Reprise)

“Pwhaaaf… Oh god, it’s good to breathe clearly again — are we… are we here?”

“Yes, we are. Look, we’ve been very nice to you, but you’ve made us very disappointed. You were in a tight spot, and we gave you the means to escape from it. But we are not running a charity here. I’ve given you many chances — too many chances — to return the favor. But time and time again, you haven’t. Now, I’ve brought you before MY boss to settle up.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just need a little more time!”

“I’m very sorry to hear that. In case you haven’t noticed, you have run OUT of time. Of course, there is one thing where we might be persuaded to not just immediately call it even by killing you right now.”

“Oh god, yes, what is it, what is it I’ll do it.”

“It’s very simple. If you notice, there is a keyboard over there. I’m sure it’s not as nice as you’re used to, but in times of trouble, we have to make do. And believe me, ‘times of trouble’ doesn’t begin to describe the particular time you’re in right now. As one of the foremost church organists in the country — some would even say the world — my boss would love to hear you play. He would hate to have to kill someone of such great talent — speaking personally, naturally. Business IS business after all, and that is not to say that he WOULDN’T kill you — just that he’d perhaps feel a twinge of regret afterward. Not much, mind you, as after all, you did show him great disrespect.”

“I would love to play for him! I’ll be happy to!”

“Great, I, and he, are both very glad to hear that; we might not look it, but we’re both great music lovers, particularly of hymnals, which you are well-equipped to play for us, given your choice of career. However, we were talking about this earlier, and we’ve discussed how given the topic of music — the praise and glory given to our God, the Creator, the music itself, though properly majestic, doesn’t typically have a lot of flourishes; after all, the praise is supposed to be to God, not the organist. Since we are both very, very Devout men, we would be very happy to praise God as we always would, but as music lovers, we’d love to hear the works allowed to breathe and have a bit of appreciation itself as music beyond praise. The boss, in particular, has a love of the sound of arpeggiated chords. If you would be so kind to give in to our request, we could see to giving you another month to settle up our debts. With interest, of course.”

“Arpeggiated chords?”

“Yes — and, of course, any other flourishes you’d want to add as well, as long as the arpeggio takes a starring role.”

“Um… um.. I’ve… um…”

“What is it? Are you denying our simple, humble request?”

“NO! No, no! It’s just that, I’ve… never been able to play arpeggios.”

“Are you attempting to make me laugh? Because you are currently failing. And I’m not much of a comedy fan besides, even when your jokes are indeed humorous. Which I, again, must underline are not.”

“No, no, please, I’m sorry, it’s not a joke!”

“Let me understand this. You are telling me that you, the aforementioned country’s-foremost church organist, are unable to play a sequence of notes that most children learn within the first few weeks of piano lessons?”

“Yes.. yes.. I’m sorry, yes.. it is true…”

“You cannot play something as simple as an arpeggio? Again, I must say that I am not laughing. You honestly expect us to believe this? I am not sure which is the bigger insult; that you deny my boss’ simple request, or you come up with such an idiotic excuse that you apparently expect us to believe and perhaps take pity on you for. In the rare, rare instance that you are leading up to a punchline which could possibly save your life — a likelihood that is very, very close to zero and rapidly approaching that number with every additional second that passes — how on Earth did you become not only a church organist at all, let alone one of such renown?”

“I… I… I… k-“

“You know; you have insulted us so much that I no longer even care how you could have. Truth or lie, I no longer even wish to hear you play. You are a worm, and my boss and I have wasted enough time on you.”