Monday, February 12, 2007

Game Shows & Music Shows

If there was a game show that I could be a part of it would have to be Match Game. I wouldn't care if I wasn't a Brett Somers or Charles Nelson Reilly. Even if I was a stupid housewife who giggled her way through the show when Gene said, "Guys liked to date Sara because she had the biggest _______." (Boobs, naturally. Or NOT so naturally, am I right?) I'd still be ok with that. I just love that show. Love every last thing about it.

But alas, the brillz that was Match Game has since passed and no celebrity panel I can come up with would come close to the awesomeness they created. Which is why I'll just have to settle for good old Chain Reaction which we tape tomorrow, bitches!

You might wonder if my team mates and I (consisting of the illustrious vixens Liz Black and Kate Tellers) are at all nervous about being (humiliated) on live TV and my answer is this: NO. The one thing that has peppered our conversations up to this point is WHAT DO WE WEAR?! God forbid we get on tv looking a big old mess!

Tonight we meet up to practice the game and I feel the "practice" may turn into a "fashion show." Which, truth be told, is fine with me. If nothing else it will lead to the realization that I should spend my tens of dollars won in the game show at H&M on a new top.

Moving on...

This weekend I attended the Lily Allen concert and was pleased as punch with her performance. Having seen her the week before at the SNL sound check and hearing that her earlier performance at the Hiro Ballroom in October (and even the one on SNL) were a straight up snooze fest (not so much the music but her personality) I was nervous to see how she'd do live on stage for a full show. I was super delighted, yes indeed. She smoked, she did shots of Jagermeister, she belched up the remnants of a Sheppard's Pie she'd eaten earlier (and had ordered, she said, from Tea & Sympathy... how very British of her). She looked adorable and wore a machine gun medallion around her neck and...yes, I think I might be just a bit obsessed. She did two covers as well as her full album. She did an acoustic version of Keane's "Everybody's Changing" as well as The Specials' "Blank Expression" (which you can download here.)

Fun show, fun rest of the night. Found a new way to get a guy to leave me alone while out at the bars which was totes approps since I had only hours earlier listened to Lily's song "Knock 'Em Out" where she tells a guy she's preggers to get him to leave her alone. I told this guy that I was Mormon. Brillz right? I said, "I can't have sex till marriage." I also played beer pong for the first time in... like 10 years? I lost. But we put up a good fight. Which means I didn't try to block the cups while they threw the ball. Only fair I think.

And that concludes yet another fun/boozey weekend in the life of Glennis. Oh also, Webster Hall you suck for having $10 drinks. Suck it, yo.

About Me

Glesbian (n.) /GLEZ.be.un/

You need to know where Glennis shops. You must find out where Glennis eats. Glennis' opinions on life matter to you. You are a Raging Glesbian.

ASK G

You have questions I have answers, but why should you listen? In 1998 I moved to NY with $500 and 5 bags of clothes. I fought my way through the muck and grime to come out the other side triumphant. Like one of those really satisfying morning BM's, my advice will set you straight.

"Readers can send in questions and Glennis will publish her response, full of profanities, tangents, and surprisingly good advice."-Radar's Work Book Project

Write to:answermecommag@gmail.com

xG

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."