Valentine’s Day

The opening credits feature the names of so many likable stars — Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Jamie Foxx, McDreamy, McSteamy and the Taylors Swift and Lautner, to name a few — that it’s hard not to wonder if this movie is going to be compensating for something. As it turns out, it is: namely, the fact that for a romantic comedy, it’s deeply unromantic and resolutely unfunny. The marquee actors appear for just long enough to recite shopworn lines. The best jokes are meta-gags, as when Roberts quotes one of her most famous Pretty Woman lines during the closing bloopers reel. Rom-com fans might have forgiven this movie’s predictability, but its greatest cinematic sin is a deal breaker: it’s just plain boring.