BJ Shea

BJ Shea

BJ'S BLOG 07/06/12 "How to Coexist"

by BJ Shea,posted Jul 6 2012 9:19AM

Earlier this week, we received this message from Thomas on Facebook:

Hello BJ,

I had a question I thought you might be able to help me with. My father was adopted and he refuses to find his real parents and says I would be dishonoring him if I found them. I feel that not looking for them and knowing who our real family is dishonoring my right to know. Should I look for them or respect my father’s wishes.

Thanks BJ,

Thomas

Boy, my generation has really raised our children to believe they can do any friggin’ thing they want. Some young people in this country think there are no rules, no boundaries and are allowed to do whatever they please.

We have to live on this planet with other people surrounding us; it’s not all about you. You can’t be a narcissistic person and think that the whole world revolves around you because you have to live and coexist with others on this planet. That means you can’t do everything YOU want to do.

If someone wants one thing and you want another thing, then you have settle in the middle.

I’m sorry Thomas, but I think you’re clueless. Is it really that important to find the people who gave up your father? What good can come out of it and is it worth jeopardizing your relationship with your father?

I came from a family where wewere all adopted and my sister decided to go find her birth family. The pain on my father’s face was one I never wanted to cause him. My father raised us; he was there through the good and the bad. Her birth family got to have fun and party with her and not have to deal with all those bad times and it’s not fair.

I usaully don't follow blogs, twitters etc... But you were spot on. Let it go little man and let your dad enjoy what he has and not what you want him to have.

07/07/2012 10:02AM

WTF? your "real family"?

What do you think family means?
Family are the people who love, support and pick you up when you fall. The people who commit to you and whom you commit to. IOW, the people who raised your father.
When you marry, you will sometimes have to prioritize between 'rents and wife. Real men choose wives well, and then commit to wife/kids before parents.
After you convince your Dad who his family should be, gonna convince your Mom that she should have used birth control?
:/