A Stanley horror story -- the disappearance of Jack Nicholson

He-eee-ere's not-Johnny

By Juley Harvey Trail-Gazette

Posted:
11/04/2009 01:00:00 AM MST

Some Halloweens are trickier than others. But if first impressions are everything, R.L. "Jack" Bullard has it down to a "J."

He had people all over the Stanley grounds doing double-takes, gawking and asking for photos. Here to reign over the Halloween Shining Ball at the Stanley for the second year as his alter ego Jack Nicholson, the impersonator played the role to the hilt of the bloody axe he brandished. Being roped in by an impersonator, as with camping, looks better in retrospect than it did at the time. Looks are where it is, and sometimes on Halloween, you just need to believe.

So, when my new friend Jack called me at home, I rolled with it. When Jack calls, you answer.

Jack Nicholson impersonator, R.L. "Jack" Bullard, awaits the start of the Shining Ball at the Stanley Hotel on Halloween. Bullard has made a career looking like the Overlook Hotel's scariest caretaker.
(
Walt Hester
)

If the undead can walk and party, surely it's possible to talk to Jack Nicholson? Not in this incarnation, girlfriend, get real. But people say I look like somebody in Hollywood -- from Laverene (oh, boo!), to Goldie Hawn (Hunh? It must be the hair?) or Stevie Nicks (my personal fave). Somebody in Hollywood is going around with my face. So why shouldn't somebody in Estes Park go around with Jack Nicholson's? A better deal, for sure. When you get right down to it, identity theft is real, and all life's a reality show. The song, "Did I Shave My Legs For This?" popped into my head. Also running through my fevered brain were the words to Oingo Boingo's tune, "Dead Man's Party."

Waiting for an invitation to arrive Goin to a party where no one's still alive.... It's a dead man's party, who could ask for more Everybody's coming, leave your body at the door."

Well, I could ask for more, thank you very much. Jack, call me. I'm in the book. We'll take a meeting.

Being Nancy Drew, Girl Reporter, when you see Jack Nicholson checking in at the Stanley Hotel on Halloween weekend, you act ("act," being the operative word here). Never mind the little voices saying, "Jack would never do his own checking in. What, are you crazy?" One wants to believe in magic. That's why there are movies -- and Halloween.

In a world so full of stupid, it's no wonder we want to hang out on Halloween with the Three Musketeers -- the insane, the inane and the undead. Or Larry, Moe and Curly. Or Jack, Not Jack and Johnny. Halloween is all about the impossible, the "imposerous" and the imposterous. Monkeys can fly, witches can brew and Jack Nicholson can visit Estes. It's a time for tricky treats and sticky freaks.

So, to the real Jack, apologies. Following are questions posed to Unjack and his comments. It seems if you can't be who you really are, being the next best thing is as good as it gets. And who can handle the truth? It's the Great Pumpkin, for Halloween's sake. It's a time of great weirdness, so celebrate already.

Q: Are you a regular visitor here?

A: I get around here often. I wander around and meet the guests here. I get a big kick out of it....I'm horribly shy. It's all I can do to go out in public. And I'm also a great liar....I have friends here. Several work here at the hotel. We've made lots of friends since we started coming here around July of last year.

Q: How did you become involved with the Shining Ball?

A: I was in Fort Collins one day and I picked up the classifieds and ran across an ad for the ball. I called the Stanley....They said can you send us a picture. I grabbed a headshot and sent it, and my phone hasn't stopped ringing....I was looking for a job. I had motivation.

Q: Do you get out in town?

A: I mostly stay in the hotel. (He was sighted at the Wheel Bar.) Going out in public is difficult. It takes 1.5 hours just to walk to the next hotel in Vegas.

Q: What's your schedule like today (Halloween)?

A: I have a wedding from 2 to 3, then meet and greets and I'm hosting the Shining Ball from 8 to midnight.

Q: Did you know about the Park Theatre Mall fire?

A: I heard about it last week. My heart skipped a beat, when I heard an historical building in Estes Park was burning. You know what flashed through my mind....I was in the theatre last year, talking about doing the film festival. I wanted to be paid. The deal fell apart. We drove right past the theatre; I thought it was devastating. I went into the theatre last year for the first time. I was very impressed with the history there. It's a landmark. It's a shame to have this happen. It's reassuring to know something is still there.

Q: Will you do charitable work for the fire victims?

A: I do a lot of charitable work for the Cancer Society, for breast cancer. I get so many requests.

Q: What do you like about Estes Park?

A: Mercy! Where do you start with that? Have you looked outside recently? It's something people get out of the habit of. Raise your vision from the road to what's around you. You wind up in a daily routine and forget to smell the roses....I'm trying to avoid work.

Q: What's your favorite role?

A: Kaiser; sometimes I go for buttermilk. But 'As Good As It Gets' is as good as it gets. I'm obliged to love 'The Shining' while I'm staying here.

To onlookers gathering, he said, "You don't want to get too close. There will be trouble."

Q: Do you come here to vacation often?

A: It's a mini-vacation, an escape from the mundane. I go out among the people and enjoy it a lot.

Q: How did you get to be so cool?

A: I'm just myself. I can't help it....What you see is what you get. I'm the only guy who goes around in costume 365 days a year. It's so easy.

A Tina Turner impersonator told me one time that all I have to do is roll out of bed and put sunglasses on, and I'm ready to go. It took her six hours in makeup. That's probably because she's a white girl. But she was a great Tina Turner.

To one of his people, he said, "Could you go grab my axe? Little did I know I was going to have to say that. I shut my axe upstairs in my closet.

Q: How do you feel about Estes Park?

A: I've been talking to my analysts about the depression that sets in when (I leave). They agree with me all the time. They're crazy.

Yeah, crazy-foxish is good. To paraphrase Forrest Gump, Halloween is like a box of chocolates -- you never know what you're going to get. That's a fact, Jack.

Not everything is what it seems. That's my Stanley ghost story and I'm sticking to it (thanks, Mom and Dad). You can believe or not, that's one of the points of any good holiday -- fear or feast, faith or favors, charity or chocolate, fair or foul, trick or treat, shining or unshining.

Some ghouls get jewels -- and some get jack. Then, there's the third category of she-devils, who can't even get jack when there's no jack to be gotten. Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but Jack Nicholson would be right up there on the list.