We have documented before on this website the pox that one Dick Stockton seems to have brought upon Chicago athletics any time he calls a game. Or at least any time he calls a Cubs game, as he did for both of their wildly unsuccessful postseason trips in 2007 and 2008.

Of course, that’s the Cubs. Any logical person would say “You idiot, they could have had anyone calling those games and something terrible would have happened.”

This is a fairly valid point. But history shows that Dick Stockton has been torturing us far longer than that. Care to guess who was behind the mic when Don Majikowski threw the infamous “Upon Further Review” touchdown pass in 1989?

Anyway, Dick was back in full force on Monday night for Game 1 of the Bulls series with the Hawks. And by full force, I mean terrible. At one point in the fourth quarter he said “Korver for 3!” on a shot from the elbow that was like two feet in front of the arc. It probably would have been a college 3, but still… oy. But the best moment had to be when he referred to Joe Johnson — aka the guy who scored 34 points — as “Johnston.” Not quite as good as when he called Aramis Ramirez “Rodrigo Ramirez,” but still quite noteworthy.

Anyway, since this was a Dick Stockton-called game, a mere loss on home court wasn’t quite enough salt in the wound. Nope. On the very last play of the game, with the Bulls down by 8, Derrick Rose manages to step on the back of Jamal Crawford’s shoe and twist his ankle. Of all the freaking guys on the court, it’s Rose who gets hurt on a meaningless play.