Welcome to the fashion and shopping humor section of my site, featuring humor columns, limericks, light verse, and other humor about mall shopping with your spouse, the WonderBra, color dated apparel, buying gifts, shopping for a house, buying lingerie with your mother, Valentine's Day shopping advice, and shopping while you should be vacationing, all by Madeleine Begun Kane.

Secret Shopper "'I'm not going in there. No way. Forget it.' My seventy-something mother's stance was as rigid as her words; arms folded across her chest, unyielding legs pointed away from the shop I'd just suggested..."

Limerick Ware"How I wish I could choose what to wear
Without worries that people might stare..."

Limerick Ode To The Tux "The history of the tuxedo (tux) has several versions, all of which involve New York’s Tuxedo Park Club..."

Wonderbra Song (An ode to a notorious piece of women's underwear. To be sung to "Miracle of Miracles" from "Fiddler on the Roof")
"Wonder of wonders.
Miracle of miracles.
Wonderbra can make you huge..."

The Blue and the Gray "I have great news for all you fashion loving fans of navy blue: Navy blue is the new black. Or to be precise, navy blue is the new gray which (until roughly twenty seconds ago) used to be..."

Open Sesame (Limerick)
"Why on earth are CDs packed so tight?
You can’t hear them without a huge fight. ..."

Keeping Abreast Of Bras (Limerick)
"There are gals who view bras as a gift,
For without ‘em their breasts are adrift. ..."

Gray Matters (Limerick)
"Though young when I started to gray,
I refused to say, “Gray, go away!” ..."

Surfing For Madeleines "I want to be Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. Not that I'm power hungry or anything like that. Hey, cut out the snide comments ... and that's an order..."

Hapless Home Buyer's Guide "The road to buying a house is paved with dwindling bank accounts, devious brokers, and home owners who (you hope) are desperate to sell. Yes, it's a challenge. But with the help of these easy to follow instructions, you can negotiate your way into unthinkable debt..."