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So I was searching for a word to describe the state of my mind right now and “limbo” came to mind. Being the researcher and data hog that I am, I immediately searched for what limbo means and its etymology. Interestingly, beyond the theological connotation of “edge of hell” from the Latin word limbus, it can also refer to deleted files that can still be restored. Thank you Wikipedia.

Why am I in limbo, you ask? Well, after the last module’s craziness in Cool-ifornia, I find myself with 2 courses. One of them, Finance, I was starting to like because of my fun professor last module but now I’m dreading because I don’t know where my current professor is leading us. The other course has put me smack in the middle of a business simulation where I hardly have an idea of what I’m doing. And because I pride myself on my general management and facilitating skills, I pretty much said “me, me” for the position of President. And my teammates, bless them, allowed me.

So 2 courses that are not holding my interest, spiced with non-school activities – taxes, company (the real one, not the one in simulation) concerns, moving to another continent, student debts, unpacking, then re-packing – I feel a little off and not my usual self. So, how do I save myself? Love, of course 🙂 D. has been helping.

My most recent homework in Finance, courtesy of the Pearson platform (which can send you into a panic if you miswrote something because now, you have the “final” check), elicited a lot of complaints from my Finance class. For one thing, all our homeworks have been painfully hard and time consuming. But this took the cake: 1-2 hours each for 4 of the questions. And my super cool professor says (paraphrased, obviously):

“Look, I’m not your boss. If you don’t finish your homework, I’m not going to fire you but if you want the points, then you go for it. At some point in a 1-year MBA and in life, you have to learn to prioritize. The homeworks are there for you to learn.”

And I’ve been turning those over and over in my head. I have just been exhausted – partly because of all the changes, the commute but mainly from being sick. When I started the MBA, I wanted to focus on learning and the A’s were simply fringe benefits. I want that focus back and get away from this grades mindset. Anyway, this is really about Finance-isms that my professor has come up to explain some concepts. I promised myself I’ll document them just for laughs.

On the differences between Chapter 7 and 11 bankruptcy:

“Imagine you buy a cow and you borrowed some money to buy that cow. Well, you realized you couldn’t pay for that cow and your creditors start asking for money, so you declared bankruptcy. In a Chapter 7, you realize that the only value of the cow is in its individual parts. Let’s say, you can sell the liver. So you cut up the cow and the creditors get the pieces. In a Chapter 11, maybe the cow can still give you some milk and you can sell that milk. So you keep the cow alive until you squeeze all the value out of it.”

On using formulas for stock valuations:

“In the original Grimm’s Cinderalla, when the footman brought out the silver slipper for the stepsisters to try on, they cut off their feet to try to fit in the slipper. It’s bloody and messy.”

On evaluating the NPV of the base scenario and the proposal:

“People say that the base scenario is the status quo and that’s simply not true. The base should take into account the consequences if you don’t take the proposal. Let’s say you’re driving, and there’s a brick wall ahead. Do you veer off and hit the ditch or you cruise along? The status quo in that situation would be that you keep cruising so you don’t get to hit the ditch. That sounds good if you completely forget the brick wall ahead. The real base proposal is that if you continue to cruise along, you’ll hit the brick wall.”

More than a decade ago, I received the only “incomplete” in my college transcript. It was for swimming, which was a required course for a Fisheries major like I was. Why was I taking Fisheries? That’s another story.

The instructor deemed me un-ready to face the deep blue sea probably because I learned breaststroke by asking a friend to show me how the hands and legs are supposed to work – out of the water, even though we lived about 10 minutes away from the beach.

So, on the day of the practical exam, I blundered my way through several laps, spreading my arms wide and closing them in a semblance of a breaststroke. As for treading, I tried to learn. I really did. But 15 minutes of treading was a little too much. I’m just not a water person.

A month and a half into the MBA, I can’t say that I’m not an MBA person but I can certainly say that I just don’t do “confident.” No matter that I have practically been training for an MBA for the past 2 years – D. seldom accepting anything less than a structured and rational thought from me. And there’s that starting (and trying to start) a business in 2 countries – one could say I’m ready for this.

And yet, I feel like I’m treading just above the waterline. As hard as I study, I still feel like I’m behind. I feel like I should be absorbing more and also doing more. I broke down a couple of days before my Econ midterms because I was so worried that I don’t understand anything. I was in the median score so I might have been a little too dramatic.

So now, I feel sort of guilty that I’m relieved because:

my accounting professor had to cancel classes last week because of a knee problem; and

Because, really these two events are allowing me to catch up. And hey, I even get to write a blog post.

I should probably call my mom, too. And sleep. And read more on economics, and accounting, and update my resume… the list goes on and on. So, yeah, I’m relieved. On one hand, my professor seems to be recovering fine but fingers crossed on the hurricane leaving us all relatively unscathed.