Life is real

Body image is such a sensitive subject. You go through different stages in life and your body changes. I could compare it to a flower. When you are a baby you are like a bud then you pace through the mayhem of puberty and you begin to blossom. When you enter adulthood you are blooming with your uniqueness and personal beauty. You may bear scars and marks presented to you by the mighty existence but you are still exceptionally beautiful.

The individual perception of one’s appearance is another matter. You can be an astoundingly stunning lilly but in your own eyes you may look like a wilted and chewed by cats dandelion. You work on your body, you treat it as a temple by eating healthy and working out but….

What if you are physically restricted?

What if your body has been rapidly changing and you don’t have any control…

Why do you wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety and worries looming over you.?

It’s so stresful to be pregnant and be awoken by the fear. Thinking about an upcoming labour doesn’t help. Being flooded by imaginative thoughts about your funeral based on childbirth are terrifying but absolutely normal.

What do you do to distract yourself and break the pattern of self-destructive thoughts?

Our brain never stops working and it processes thoughts 24/7. When the anxiety strikes it acts like a net which catches and traps a thought, we begin dwell on it, we realise that it’s unpleasant and we try to get rid of it as quickly as we can. The problem is that this newly captured thought could be compared to a tick who has already embedded itself in our skin. Pulling it out won’t solve the problem but it may…

If you are thinking to conceive but are flooded with fear and doubts my advice to you is: go for it, there is never a perfect time or an opportunity to have a child. Life is full of hurdles so if you really want fo bring a new life into this twisted but wonderful world just do it.

Life without a child as a couple is very convenient. You are solely responsible for yourselves, indulging in existence is joyful and planning expenses is much easier because you don’t bear the burden of making sure that a tiny human being who is not capable of sustaining their basic needs entirely relies on your physical, mental and financial support. I’m going to be brutally honest with you, as a mum to be, I’m terrified of that whole new sense…

I often talk about the benefits and healing properties of active meditation. I’m known of giving tips and advice how to succesful free your mind from tge realms of ovewhelming stress.

I’d always thought that I had it perfectly mastered. Oh, how I was wrong. Today, I needed to go outside to relax and collect my thoughts due to being under stress. I decided that it was a perfect opportunity to activately meditate. I tried it and I failed. My mind was so occupied with anxiety and negative predictions that it felt like it was being devoured by an alligator.

I had stopped it and insted focused on a picture on the fence. I stared at it and breathed for good 2-3 minutes letting my thoughts flow with its own pace. Afterwards, I didn’t feel completely resurrected but partially alive which was enough for me to funcion.

How much is too much? It’s a very general question. It can be related to anything. Today, this question is related to a job. I’m going to extend this question to:

How much mistreatment at work is too much to put a full stop to it?

I consider myself to be a very experienced, fairly simple and very straighforward human being who expects the same from others. I often forget that it’s fairly impossible to receive ‘ a full package’ from people around me as the world is full of mischievious idiots who just wait to devour eachother by gradual but effective backstabbing.

Where am I going with it?

I feel like people like me who perceive the world in a simple and realistic way struggle a lot. I’m sensitive and not interested in politically strategic games. Someone would say- ” Why don’t you change yourself?” Well, I’ve tried it…

I’m pregnant and I suffer from anxiety. I drink cranberry juice instead of gin. I do miss the mighty gin.

Two days ago I felt like my world came crushing down because I have experienced the worst anxiety and panic attack in years. It resulted for me in sobbing and weeping uncontrollably for two days. I convinced myself that my fiance would die in the car accident, that my mother would die due to the heart attack caused by long term family problems, that my father would go back to abusing alcohol and that my brother would commit suicide while being incarcerated. My head felt fuzzy, I was in a daze, it felt like something clicked in my brain and pushed me towards realms of depression. In the past, I allowed myself to slip in to deceiving arms of depression from anxiety and panic attacks periods. I know how this…

Pregnancy is a strange mental and physical state. All of the sudden you feel like some alien force has taken over every single thing you were previously in charge of. If I could compare my brain to an object I would happily compare it to this partially burnt gate called ‘Franky’ who proudly poses for the picture. I’m not saying that a pregnancy is not a miracle- it’s a miraculous and wonderful but freaky occurrence which sucks up every ounce of your energy you’ve had spared leaving you functioning like a Zombie. And yes, every pregnancy is different, some find it easy, some find it difficult and some loose the will to live. I stick with the third option. They say it will pass, it will get easier… Will it really? As far as I know I’m growing a human being inside my body and soon I will be responsible for their entire life until they mature. While I feel rotten to the core I embrace my partially burned and scorched pregnancy brain. Yes, I still manage to find happiness in my newly given sweet and wonderful misery 😊

I’m sure you’ve heard about a group of wonderful people who embrace body positivity. These lovely people who are of different body shapes and sizes are trying to change the distorted perception of beauty deeply embedded in the modern society. I’m convinced that at some in your life you wondered if you are adequate, good or beautiful enough. Maybe you’ve spent years on changing your diet and adjusting excercises to achieve the ultimate and perfect look which can be seen in miscellaneous magazines.

I adore working out myself but I have stopped killing my dear body and mental side for the sake of transformation. I was tired of seeing ‘transformation pictures’ of people who lost/ gained / maintained weight claiming that their lives have become a miracle wonderland. Have they really? How can I know that your life has changed for the better after you dropped few pounds? I can’t…

If you look at the picture above you will be able to see a creature murdering the poor lifeless head. This is ANXIETY. Anxiety strikes unexpectedly, everything can be going well and all of the sudden you become paralysed with the brutal and panicky reality of inner fear.

I want help you to realise that you are not alone and there are few simple ways to cope with the attack.

I have listed 5 SELF- HELP rules which will help you to survive.

1. Breath- inhale and exhale – at least five times. You will instantly become overwhelmed with a sense of relief and temporary enlightenment ( Yes, I’m actually going to live) due to your brain receiving enough oxygen.

2. Take it slow. It’s easy to say… and guess what… It’s easy to do too!!! Focus on the basics, go through your daily planner or a plan for the…

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A self- proclaimed empathetic female being fascinated by psychology with a pinch of art & craft. I hope that one day mental health won't be a taboo topic but a subject openly talked about. I strongly support active meditation and teachings by the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh.

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