To paraphrase a very annoying saying, even when HBO "24/7" is bad, it's good. Viewers got a taste of that on Saturday, when the first episode of the Red Wings-Maple Leafs series aired.

As is custom — except when a lockout ruins everything — cameras are following around the Winter Classic participants. Returns, for now, aren't particularly great, but it's early enough to write that off. Still, HBO is going to have to figure out how to deal with Detroit; well-oiled organizational machines don't make for great TV, but all of the Red Wings bits were a little off.

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That said, it looked great and had its moments. Here were the best parts:

Phil Kessel, bubble hockey savant. Anything Kessel-related, really. The mere sight of him on an exercise bike is delightful. Watching him hang out with the other single Leafs at the team's Christmas party was particularly funny; "You only get so many chances in this game," he said. See? He's funny.

Dion Phaneuf's style. We've said this before — it's easy to dress well when you're a millionaire tens of times over. But Phaneuf didn't disappoint. His closet was the size of a small training room, and it was filled with cool stuff. Also, he drives a Bentley, because why not, and is married to Elisha Cuthbert. Scratch that, actually. Dion Phaneuf is the worst.

Daniel Alfredsson's kids. HBO pushed the "old guy on a new team" story line pretty hard with Alfredsson, and it had his moments. He and his wife were bluntly honest about the challenges of leaving Ottawa for Detroit, and at one point on the ice, he yelled, "I'm f------ old," to nobody in particular. Still, as is often the case with "24/7," it went for heartstring tugs with the kids. Playing hockey with their dad, trying to set up a Christmas tree — it was good.

Randy Carlyle vs. a toaster.

Also, Toronto's coach used a bizarre idiom involving a chicken and a curse word that we sort of missed. It was weird. Overall, he dropped more F-bombs than anyone.

Joffrey Lupul vs. Slava Voynov. Speaking of bad words, Voynov has a few American ones down cold. The Kings defenseman scrapped with Lupul earlier this week, and microphones were present.