LAST CALL: Sainthood: a great job if you can get it

In a spokesperson contract sure to last longer than Monica Lewinsky's deal with Jenny Craig, the Vatican is looking for a patron saint of cyberspace.

PRWeek wonders idly how the recruitment ad might have read: 2001-year-old company seeks newest associate. Computer skills a must. Job title: Patron Saint of Internet Users and Computer Programmers. Opportunity for advancement: minimal, but job security is eternal. Must be available 24-7 to listen to the fears, complaints, trials and tribulations of beleaguered techies, Web-heads and engineers. Immediate supervisor: God.

The Pope has been mulling applicants for two years. Emerging as the front-runner for the thankless job of fielding complaints from laid off dot-bomb workers is Saint Isidore of Seville, believed to have written the world's first encyclopedia, The Etymologies. There's no word yet from the Vatican on when the personnel decision might be made. But we are wondering just how a rejection notice might be conveyed, given that being dead is a prerequisite. Perhaps Jackie Stallone could turn headhunter?