Q: I had a short affair with my manager, who’s 20 years older than I am. I finally decided to end the affair, and the guilt is killing me because I also have a boyfriend of six years. I still feel sad when I see him at work. Should I marry my boyfriend to get my boss out of my mind?

-Karen G.

A: Hi Karen,

I’m sorry to read that you’re in such emotional distress, but your situation provides a great lesson for anyone who’s considering getting involved with someone who’s married. Not only is that morally wrong, but it’s typically a dead-end street that leads you directly to heartache’s front door. Your situation is even more complicated because you work for this man and must see him every day. The fact that he’s both married and your boss shows incredible poor moral character and serious bad judgment on his part. As a result, let me say that you did the right thing by ending this relationship. The fact that you have guilt tells me that you know this is wrong for many reasons. So now you wonder what to do to address the feelings that you still have for him.

The reality is that you may not yet be able to control the feelings that you have for him, but you can definitely control your behavior. You must learn an important life lesson here, Karen; swear to yourself that you’ll never do anything like this again, and then put this whole experience behind you. With that said, marrying your boyfriend is definitely not the remedy for the angst you presently feel. Because you still have strong feelings for this man, however, you might want to consider finding a new job so that you can avoid the daily torment. A fresh start at a new company may be just what you need to put this all behind you and reclaim your moral ground.