FLYING – Part Two – STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Oh! Here we go! A little bumpy and this freaking hang gliding hammock is swaying around like a tea towel in a tornado, but still, exciting!

Holy Cow! We are going up fast. This wind is really fierce. I hope I don’t loose my glasses. What if a bug hits my teeth?

Ugh. Why is my stomach turning somersaults?

Wow, this is amazing. I wish it lasted more than ten minutes. Ten minutes is nothing. It’s going to be over before it starts.

Urg, my tummy doesn’t feel so good.

NO! I am not going to hurl on this poor guy’s helmet. I am going to breathe and my gurgling stomach will settle down.

I wonder if I’m sick because we’re being towed by the plane. I’ll bet once Airplane Dude lets us go I’ll be fine. I wonder how much longer before Airplane Dude lets us go.

What’s that? Hang Gliding Dude is making some sort of signal. Airplane Dude is not paying attention to him. Is that a problem? Are we in trouble?

Man, we are really, really high. Look at that, I can see the bay and the ocean side. That’s a lot of water. Water. Oh boy, I wish I had a drink of water right now.

Oh my god! The plane unhooked us! Ack!

Wait. This is marvelous. I’m soaring like a bird. It’s exactly what I thought it would be. No, it’s one hundred times better than I thought it would be.

Uh oh. Hang Gliding Dude is leaning to the left. I don’t like that so I’m going to lean to the right. Why are we dipping and diving? Hang Gliding Dude is shouting at me to let him steer the hang glider. Oh.

I hope we head for home soon. Ten minutes is way to long. Breathe, dammit, breathe!

Finally. Out of the clouds and now I see the landing strip. Land Ho! Gosh, I hope I make it down before I throw up. Breathe, you idiot. I can’t! I’m lying face down in a hammock plunging to my death! May Day! MayDay!!

The ground is coming up fast. It’s going to be a hard landing, so I’ll prepare by closing my eyes. That always helps. What’s happening now? I could find out if I opened my eyes, but I think the fear of not knowing is slightly less than the fear of knowing. Yep. Shut is better.

Oh. Wow. That wasn’t bad at all. We landed like a whisper. Oh, crap. Now we’re bouncing along the ground. Bouncing is not good. In fact, bouncing is the worst. Don’t throw up, you nerd!

You seem to be a person who likes to be in control. This is quite natural, judging by the dysfunction you meet almost daily in your family and have experienced from childhood. The world begs for your steady hand.

It occurs to me that you have set a personal world record for how far you will reach out of your skill set to exert your control. That would be: trying to turn the hang glider. Congratulations, you’ll find your trophy in your email box.

Just one more thing. When you hear that I’m in the operating room, having my gall bladder removed–don’t come in. (Rita will already be there with her best scissors.)

DaneZ, I’m sure your wife is perfectly capable of controlling the cutting part of your gall bladder surgery, however, I’ll certainly be there supervising the medical staff. Wait. There won’t be any blood will there? Because I pass out at the sight of blood. Maybe I’ll let Rita handle this after all.