Local Comedian Responds To Browns Season Ticket Payment Reminder

CLEVELAND, OH - NOVEMBER 13: Cleveland Browns fans react after their 13-12 loss to the St. Louis Rams at Cleveland Browns Stadium on November 13, 2011 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Matt Sullivan/Getty Images)

This time he authored an open letter to the team’s ticket office in response to receiving a season-ticket payment reminder in the mail.

The new video, titled “Dear The Cleveland Browns…,” was posted on YouTube Monday.

Polk took several jabs at the team including joking about confusing new free agent defensive end Frostee Rucker with a NASCAR driver and researching him online, “A quick Google-ing informed me that in fact he is a defensive end that the Cincinnati Bengals considered disposable.”

Despite the lack of free agent activity, Polk expressed his excitement for the upcoming season, “regardless of what we do in the draft.”

Because attending NFL games can be costly, Polk requested a few amendments be made to his season ticket plan.

He started by submitting $2 to pay for the two preseason games because “50 cents a seat is a more than adequate price to pay to watch fourth string walks-on’s from Mount Union run into each other in a meaningless scrimmage while I drink several of your $11 beers.”

He then decided not to pay for the last two home games because he can find cheap tickets for $6 online or on the street.

Polk as always saved the best shot for last.

“As to when you’ll receive the remainder of my balance for the upcoming season, I’m afraid that I’ll have to borrow your organization’s approach and simply demand your continue patience and loyalty to me during this difficult time,” Polk joked. “For you see, regrettably, to borrow a phrase, my checking account is currently in a rebuilding year.”

Cleveland Browns beat writer and member of the Pro Football Writers of America | Over the past 17 years, Ruiter has covered major sporting events including the Cleveland Browns, Indians, Cavaliers, ALDS, ALCS, NBA Playoffs, NBA Finals,...