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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Comics Rant: Captain America #3

Let me say that Hydra are a bunch of morons. Wait, Okay, let me back up at bit. Captain America lost his Shield in the ocean. Yup. So Cap is in Avengers Mansion and trying to work out with a new Shield made for him by Tony Stark. Captain America can’t quite get the handle of it down and breaks lots of stuff in the Mansion. Tony Stark quickly tells Cap to play outside with his new toy. Really. For once it happened just like that. Namor offers to look in the ocean but since it’s a pretty big ocean, Namor says it’ll most likely never be found. So yeah, Captain America is screwed.

What’s pretty funny is that Hydra has a new leader and boy is he a dumb ass. He’s got no name other than Supreme Hydra and he takes the whole “Cut off a limb and two more will take it’s place” to heart. Supreme Hydra cuts off a Hydra members arms and when it doesn’t grown it back he seems disappointed. I wonder if the Hydra agent who got his arm cut off is disappointed? Or dead. Or both.

Hey Hydra takes over the Smithsonian museum. Hydra wants Captain America to come to the Smithsonian and they want to kill him. Simple, right? Not with fucking Hydra, it isn’t. Ugh, I hate Hydra. Oh and guess what? Two goofy ass teenagers get stuck in the Smithsonian because they wondered away from their school field trip. Stupid kids. Captain America is tossing his new Shield around and it’s not connecting with anything, it’s like ATT&T over here. So Captain America gets shot and looks up and sees a display of him and Namor and the original Human Torch from World War 2. Or WWII as it’s known in textbooks.

Captain America snatches the old shield he used back in the day from the display and starts fucking the Hydra agents up something fierce. So Cap saves the kids, beats up the bad guys and have tons of people swarming him when it’s all said and done. Didn’t really like this issue too much, but I’ll say it’s a nice change of pace from the really crappy books Marvel was putting out in this era. Oh yeah, Supreme Hydra (Who’s also sporting the 1990’s style one earring here) want’s Captain America dead and gone. So he’s going to put a call into Batroc! Wait, what the fuck? Batroc. Let’s see if Mark Waid can make Batroc as cool as Ed Brubaker did. Only time will tell but it looks like as the title moves forward, Cap will be getting the Hulkamania treatment. It’ll be called Capamania. No clue yet, if that’s something you differently don’t want to get! Better get that shit check out, Cap!