So Northern Ireland has been in the news lately. Whenever I see a picture of Ian Paisley, I get an image of him in my head, his face purple with exertion, his fist violently slamming into the palm of his other hand, saying things like: "GRIP THE TEAT BEFORE ROLLING DOWN THE SHAFT!" and "ALWAYS USE A WATER BASED LUBRICANT FOR ANAL SHECSH!!"