An academy for growth and guidance

Month: Sep 2017

Don’t feel like going to work? Don’t feel like sitting at your desk all day? Eager to quit or change jobs? Now, most of us have felt all of the above and may have categorized it as work-related stress and pushed it away. But, is it just stress? Or is it a burnout?

It’s important to identify the distinction in order to take the right path thereafter. Stress is commonly associated with certain situations, events or people. And a change in any of the above immediately brings down stress levels. Stress is relatively short-term and one usually feels overwhelmed with the amount of work. And once a certain project is completed, or an important event takes place, stress automatically reduces, hence reassuring us that we can get back to our usual work mode.

However, on the other hand, a burnout is long-term. More than feeling worried about a certain assignment, a sense of belongingness is lost. The whole workplace seems strange and feelings towards employees change too. There is a sudden disconnect with the job and the people associated with it, perhaps with the boss himself.

There has been no one reason that has caused people to experience a burnout in the past but reasons like having unclear goals and expectations, no support from the boss, monotonous work schedule or low-stimulation work have contributed to the same.

A burnout could create consequences at work as well as at home. A person who is dissatisfied with his work and the results carry a sense of insecurity and dissatisfaction back home, hence, risking stability of other relationships too.

With increasing levels of stress and with money being a prime factor for choosing jobs, more and more people are leaning towards a burnout very early in their career.

Contrary to the common mentality, a burnout can actually be avoided. Monitoring one’s job carefully and working with a purpose are key factors in keeping a burnout away. To have a goal apart from the monthly pay-check helps in keeping the mind challenged at work. Taking control of the job and ensuring that the boss is helping you grow keeps an employee motivated. However difficult it may seem, the task of staying happy at the workplace has to be performed by the employee and one shouldn’t wait for the boss to carry out the same. Exercising regularly and keep stress levels low indirectly play a significant role in ensuring a happy professional life. And if one is happy at work, a burnout is a rarity.

And if after trying to do so, you are still unable to find peace, don’t hesitate to talk to a counsellor and find the right path for your career that’ll consequently decide your path to happiness!

Remember the time when we were at school? Apart from our usual “I don’t want to study” or “I want a holiday” issues, it was a pretty easy time. We were told what we had to do, we did it, learnt few things in the process, had real friends, lost a few ; all in all, truly living each day of our childhood the way it was meant to be lived. And here we are, decades later, watching our children in school with half the amount of patience and double the number of issues. Victoria Prooday, an occupational therapist with years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers, acknowledges the fact that children are getting harder to deal with at school. A feeling of entitlement looms over classrooms giving teachers a hard time. A decline in kids’ social, emotional and academic functioning too can be observed!

What went wrong? Why are things so different? Fortunately or unfortunately, there isn’t just one answer. Many factors contribute to this kind of behaviour.

Again, like many other behavioral problems today, the roots of this issue too lie in technology! Often, parents are seen using technology as a free baby-sitting service, which according to Prooday, isn’t free at all. One will be paying heavily for it, sooner or later. A child needs adequate exposure to human voices and interaction to be able to communicate effectively. And most importantly, a child requires parental emotional availability! At all times!

Next in line comes “instant gratification”. The millennial kids would be familiar with the concept of “parental glare”; that one looks that would make us jump up and do anything in the world. We were made to wait patiently for the good things and perhaps we valued it more thanks to that. Good or bad at that time, as adults, most of us believe that it was appropriate to have been delayed gratification at a young age; something that today’s children are completely unaware of. Almost as soon as their wants transform into demands, they have been fulfilled!

Furthermore, parents today are dictated by children. Statements like “oh he doesn’t eat vegetables” or “oh she hates sports”, are not only ensuring that you are letting them rule you, but also reaffirms their faith in the same, thereby ruling out the option of them ever trying it in the future.

To add on, the ideology of always wanting children to “have fun” leads them to expect a certain fun pattern everywhere, maybe even in school. They need to be taught to work at home, even if it means doing a few chores around the house. Moreover, playing with friends or learning a sport could teach them more than just team spirit and togetherness. Increased social interaction only means decreased online interaction!

To change the way our kids see the world, it’s time we change our way of dealing with them! Leave technology behind and let’s get back to our retro style of parenting! It’s time we look up to our parents and see how they did it so our children could enjoy their childhood they way we did!

The dictionary defines it as the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment; basically experiencing each moment as we live it. Seems simple, right? But if we get down to its depth, it’s shocking to know that very few of us today practise the same.

Think about the last time you sipped your coffee, savouring each sip, enjoying the rich coffee flavour. What you might be able to recollect is your coffee mug touching your lips and being put down on the table, every few seconds, while your eyes are glued to your mobile phone, or laptop, browsing through people’s profiles and keenly judging their lives. If only we took as much interest in our own lives and paid attention to every single activity we go through in our daily lives, life would be so much more meaningful.

Be it a simple activity like eating or drinking or an activity like walking on the treadmill or exercising; how much of our attention is dedicated to the activity rather than to the peripherals?

Now one might wonder, if everything is happening well, why worry about enjoying that taste of coffee, why should I feel every step of the walk, why should I live each moment and be aware of it? Well, the answer lies in the many advantages of mindfulness. Mindfulness helps one keep stress away, feel calm and stay focussed at all times. The art of focussing on each activity being performed helps in making a person more aware at various levels. It could easily be considered as an intense form of meditation.

This wasn’t taught to us when we were kids, perhaps because we already knew how to be mindful. That privilege of enjoying every moment was snatched away from us the minute we included gadgets and other worldly pleasures in our lives. And hence it’s important to realise that the next generation needs to be taught mindfulness. There are simple yet effective ways of doing so.

First of all, we need to practise it to preach it. It’s essential to know that children imitate adults in every little way and us being able to live every moment might unknowingly be passing on a strong message to them. However, initially, one could also set a particular rhythm to an activity which could be practised everyday at a certain time. This inculcates discipline along with mindfulness. Simple activities to begin with could help cultivate the habit. Nevertheless it’s important to teach them that mindfulness is not only about meditation or prayers. Experiencing each action that is done during the day is the most effective from of mindfulness.

Simple tips and practices at a young age could play an important role in imbibing the concept of mindfulness in children which might stay with them for years to come.