SOMETIMES IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS…

I made some toast today, and immediately thought of my mother, Edna. I love Orange Marmalade. I put it in a lot of things, and when I put it on my toast, I use a spreader I got from my mother. It was a spreader I grew up with. In fact it is older than I, as my mom got it from her mother. When I say I got it from my mother, that’s not exactly true. My mom died almost two years ago, and anyone that knew her knows she was very well-organized. (In fact, she would put J. Edgar to shame… there were files on everyone… from me all the way down to Ula) She had made arrangements to have everything of any value, monetarily or sentimentally parceled out to her family. My sister Marja helped her organize at the end and I know my mom was very grateful for the help and maybe more importantly the company, as my Father had monopolized everyone’s time and energy, and my Mother got the short end of the stick so to speak. I will be forever grateful to Marja for that.

So, everything was pretty much decided about ‘what went where’.

As I was helping my sister’s dispose of things… giving things to our Mom’s helpers and friends and us taking some things… “Hey, I need a storage container that size!” (anyone knowing our Mom knows about storage containers!)… I came across this spreader in a drawer with about 5 other spreaders… God forbid we would run out of spreaders. My Mom had a lot of duplicates… I guess that’s what happens in 90 years of life. The cabinets were almost sagging off the walls with the weight of all the dish sets.

But, back to the Spreader… This one spreader, was one I used when I was a child and had advanced to making my own toast and sandwiches. I used it every time I went to Sacramento to visit. So, I pocketed it that day. Every time I make toast or a sandwich I think of my Mom.

Tonight, I’m going to The Palace Theater to see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo… I will think of my Mom, as she loved to go to the movies more than anything else. I saw more movies with my mother than anyone else in my life. She would go to see anything with me. She said she wanted to see ‘Sin City’ (my daughters were aghast when they found out I had taken her to see ‘Sin City’, I said “Hey she really wanted to see it!”) so we went. But, I was the one who really wanted to see it, found out later she really didn’t like it and was just looking out for her son (I know that feeling myself), and I loved her for that… she was my Champion in life.

The perfect day for my Mom, was to go to Arden Fair Mall. Have lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen or the Cheesecake Factory… actually her favorite was to get a Polish Dog in the Food Court… then we would browse Barnes and Nobel looking at books, maybe buying a few… well always buying a few… then on to the show in the Mall or nearby Century 21. That was our day… and in the old days when she was in good health we would sometimes go to 2 shows. So I saw a lot of movies with my Mom.

Of the all things of value she wanted me to have, it is the little things that spark memories… those are the most important. Because it’s the memories that are most valuable in our lives.

I used to hear people say “I miss and think of my mother every day”… I now know what they mean. Although I may not think of her every day, there are so many little reminders, it’s hard not to.

Photos are great reminders… I have a lot of my Mom… here’s one of my favorites.

Ted, I have seen you make comments about your Dad before, did you not have a close relationship with him? I was not really close with my dad growing up, I think it was because we had similar personalities. I was a lot like him, I only got close with him in the later years when he was sick for 20 years. ♥

thanks for sharing, this is the first chance i have had to read your book
it was wonderful i have to admit my eyes are leaking it was so touching, I know i am in good company when i think and miss my mom.
do u recall the song MOTHER?
sing it sometime I know i do
hugs my friend
and despite the rep u try to make for yourself u r one big softie
MM

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