The Five Worst-Dressed Men of the Month: November 2012

Robin's Egg Blue, Hot Magenta, Laser Lemon—you get one Crayola color per look, not all of them. The only positive side effect is that these distract from that maggoty neck tattoo.

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4. Russell Brand in Los Angeles

This is what everyone who takes themselves way too seriously wears to GQ Andrew's meditation class.

Photo: 7online.com

3. Mark Wahlberg in Los Angeles

Listen, taking your kid to school doesn't mean dressing like your kid is going to school.

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2. Kellan Lutz in Los Angeles

Were it not for the elongated tie bar and the fact you tried that always-a-bad-idea, color-swatching-your-date move, you wouldn't be on this list.

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1. Kanye in NYC

We're in on the joke, but....c'mon. Nobody not in Greenland needs a coat that long.

Photo: Splash News

5. Gary Oldman in LA

Look, dude, none of these things are inherently bad, but you can't just put on every vaguely linen-y item you own and call it a day. You look like you're about to get priced out of Sag Harbor.

Photo: 7online.com

4. Shia LaBeouf in NYC

Despite the impressive rebound, the suit Shia donned earlier this month was one of the worst we've ever seen. Is there even a name for this shade of brown?

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3. Cory Monteith in Santa Monica

Dressing well is about nailing the details. And dressing poorly? That's what happens when you ignore them. Not bad items, Cory, but it's pretty clear that this outfit could have been saved if you'd spent an extra couple minutes in front of the mirror thinking "Why am I wearing this vest?"

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2. Will.I.am in Santa Monica

The number two spot on the Worst Dressed List might as well be named in honor of will.I.am.

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1. Paul Ryan in Ashland, Virginia

Don't think we forgot about you, Paul. That suit was all kinds of awful. Our offer to take you shopping still stands.

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5. The Situation in Las Vegas

We're conflicted about this one. On the one hand, there is a right and a wrong time to show off killer abs with a six-button man-cleav. Is that time on the red carpet? When Señor Frogs is sponsoring, maybe.

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4. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian in Miami

We've given 'Ye enough shit for matching Kim, so just read this instead so we can make our peace with it.

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3. Will Ferrell in NYC

We're still admiring Will's dedication to The Campaign. The only thing that says off-duty president more than a vacation in Martha's Vineyard is a pair of grandpappy jeans.

Where do you even get a sweatshirt like this? It looks like the realization of something designed in crayon by a toddler.

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3. Will Smith in NYC

A few weeks removed from this, and it's still a hall-of-famer for least flattering ties ever.

Photo: PatrickMcMullan.com

2. will.i.am in London

Motorcycle jacket or DB blazer. Pick one.

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1. Elton John in London

If you're going to model your style after a Batman villain, try to keep it in the Christopher Nolan era. This is some Batman Returns shit and it's not okay. Also, don't model your style after a Batman villain.

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5. Tom Hardy in Cannes.

It hurts us to do this—because we love you, bruh—but this beard is just too pube-y for our tastes.

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4. Kiefer Sutherland in Los Angeles.

Nothing so horribly offensive about this, exactly (except the hat, it's bad.) This look is just a little like listening to three mediocre songs at once: Nothing harmonizes.

Photo: 7online.com

3. Chris Tucker at Cannes.

The tie made us smile, but we're still not getting behind it.

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2. John Cusack at Cannes.

All-black on the sunny French Riviera is weird enough, but then you've gotta slouch in a baggy jacket, untucked shirt, and limp collar? Pull yourself together, man.

Orlando is so close but so far away. Sweat pants? In. Lavender? In. Purple saggers that girls in high school never take off? Not OK.

Photo: Splash News

4. Pierce Brosnan in Indio, California.

If you're going to be 30 years older than the average attendee at a music festival, blending in requires more than wearing that leather jacket you spent your Dante's Peak earnings on.

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3. Mel Gibson in Malibu.

Oakley-like shades, Teva-like sandles, pre-SPF-era sunburn—this Mel Gibson photo has all the trappings of a Malibu tech investor. From before the dotcom crash.

Photo: Splash News

2. Steven Tyler in West Hollywood, California.

Maybe the only time in history that Matthew Modine and Steven Tyler will dress like soul twins.

Photo: Splash News

1. Axl Rose in Los Angeles.

Axl looks like he fell into one of those suburban mall blue lagoons and everything but Hot Topic was closed.

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5. Ludacris in NYC

All it takes is a polygonal pocket square to sabotage an otherwise perfectly sharp suit.

Photo: PatrickMcMullan.com

4. Matthew Modine in NYC

On a related note, the wrong pair of glasses are an easy way to sabotage a handsome mug.

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3. Gerard Butler in West Hollywood, California

Gerry is in absolute violation of our sternum-flashing rule.

Photo: 7online.com

2. Steven Tyler in Maui, Hawaii

On the one hand, it's kinda rocker for a 64-year-old dude to wear nail polish, Paris Hilton shades, and tie dye on vacation—like a stiff middle finger to social norms. On the other, it just looks terrible.

Photo: Splash News

1. Russell Brand in Hollywood, California

This is bad, but in a conceptual way. Brand looks like a comet, dashing through space, burning out in a cherry red and robin's egg blue flame.

Photo: 7online.com

5. Nick Nolte in Beverly Hills, California.

It's important to know who you're referencing. Rosy cheeks, a snow-white beard, and a tubby midsection will always scream Saint Nick.

Photo: Getty Images

4. will.i.am in London.

You're wearing red! We get it! You don't need to remind us with your shirt, gloves, and shoes.

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3. Steven Tyler in Los Angeles.

Unfair as it is, sometimes the same look can have a wholly opposite effect on a different person. For instance, on Steven Tyler, this look is the worst. On Helen Mirren, it would be foxy.

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2. Anne Vyalitsyna and Adam Levine in Los Angeles.

We're not experts on these things, but if your girlfriend needs a Brazilian for the red carpet, her dress is crossing the line.

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1. Russell Brand in West Hollywood, California.

Exposed areola, for the win.

Photo: Splash News

5. Bill Paxton in Los Angeles.

Totally cool to steal a little inspiration. But if you're drawing from the Steve Jobs well, better to copy his way of thinking rather than his way of dressing.

Photo: Getty Images

4. Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Terrence Howard in NYC.

And know that if you're biting the style of icons as overexposed as the Rat Pack, you're gonna have to try a whole lot harder than Cuba's off-the-rack three-piece.

This is only OK if you're performing the lambada to "Hound Dog" on Dancing with the Stars. And even then it's not really OK. (Also, let the record show that we have never seen an episode of Dancing with the Stars.)