Only In My Dreams

In her dream, she didn't feel afraid at all. Amber was sitting on the edge of the dock in the warm afternoon sunlight, looking like she could inspire an entire Renaissance all by herself, and Lori walked up and sat down next to her like it was the most natural thing in the world. She reached out and caressed the tiny dusting of freckles on Amber's shoulder the way she'd forced herself not to so many times, and Amber looked up at Lori with a hint of surprise in her bright green eyes and Lori knew that Amber knew. And best of all, Lori knew that Amber didn't care. Lori might wake up with hot tears of shame running down her cheeks again, but in her dream, all she felt was joy.

She reached out and tangled her fingers into Amber's long red hair, casually noticing the way the summer sun shone through it like a halo of fire, and pulled Amber close to kiss. In the dream, it didn't feel like a sin. It felt soft and warm and welcoming, like a promise fulfilled. Lori closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of sunscreen and shampoo and perspiration. She never smelled things in dreams unless she was dreaming about sex.

Amber sighed into her mouth, and Lori shivered in arousal. She tugged just a little bit on the hair she held trapped within her hands, pulling Amber down to nuzzle her chin and nibble her neck. Lori let out a tiny cry of pleasure, and she felt Amber's mouth curve into a smile as the other girl kept kissing further and further down.

Lori felt Amber's weight pressing into her, bearing her down onto the wooden planks as Amber found new places to kiss. In the dream, Lori didn't worry about who might see her. She didn't worry about what the other girls would say. She just gasped sharply as Amber's mouth closed around her nipple and began to suck. The warm saliva soaked through the fabric of Lori's thin shirt, making it stick to her breasts as she pulled Amber tight against her body. She felt like she wanted to embrace the other girl so tightly that they would join together. She felt like she never wanted the moment to end. She felt like she wanted to make love to Amber forever.

And of course, that was the moment where she started to lose the dream. Lori fought it as hard as she could, trying to inhabit the endless sunlit fantasy for just a moment longer...but the harder she fought, the more aware she became, and the more aware she became, the more she remembered the shame and the fear and the sin that she'd forgotten in the depths of the dream. They reached up out of the back of her mind and crushed the fantasy to fragments before she could even finish waking. Lori woke the same way she always woke, torn between wanting to purge the sinful urges away and wanting to hide in her dreams and never wake up again.

But it wasn't shame that had caused her to wake up in the first place, Lori realized. Something was out of place, some sensation that intruded on her sleeping mind and made her aware of the real world even in the depths of one of the best/worst dreams she ever had. Lori tried to kick her sluggish, confused brain into gear and figure out what it was that demanded her attention. It was...it was...

Someone was still sucking at Lori's breast, she realized.

She half-opened her eyes. It didn't make much difference; only a tiny sliver of moonlight illuminated the dormitory. "Amber?" she whispered muzzily, still unsure how much of this was real and how much was a dream.

The woman in her bed didn't respond, other than to switch to Lori's other nipple. But once Lori's eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw that it wasn't Amber after all; it was Summer nuzzling at her chest with her eyelids tightly shut and an expression of solemn concentration on her face. She'd already been at it for some time before Lori woke; Lori's nightshirt was practically soaked through with drool in spots.

"Summer?" Lori whispered, a bit more urgently. A wave of terror hit her, waking her more completely than a bucket of cold water on her face. If anyone saw them...a rush of terrifying possibilities flashed through her mind. She'd never be able to make the senior counselors believe she didn't ask for this, not when she couldn't even convince herself. They'd call her parents, send her home, and how would she be able to explain things to Mom and Dad?

The whispers would follow her everywhere; she'd never be allowed to volunteer again. Nobody would ever trust her with good Christian kids, not if they thought she was...was...Lori couldn't even think the word. It felt too much like an admission. She shook Summer's arm, desperately trying to get the other girl's attention so that she could tell her to stop before they woke someone.

Summer's eyes opened, but they didn't see. She just stared straight ahead with an utterly blank look on her face, the eyes rolled back so far in her head that Lori could barely see the pupils. She continued to suck with a passionate intensity, wiggling her tongue on Lori's nipple, but Lori realized that Summer's face held no real expression at all. It was as if she was still asleep.

Not as if, Lori realized as Summer's eyes fluttered closed once more. Summer was still asleep. She was sleep...not sleep-walking, although she must have done that too in order to make her way across the dormitory to Lori's bed. Sleep-sucking. And sleep-touching, too, Lori thought, inhaling sharply. Summer's fingers crept into her panties like the slow, inexorable march of ivy along a wall.

"Summer, please wake up," Lori whispered desperately. She knew it was supposed to be bad to wake a sleep-walker, but it was even worse to get caught with one in your bed at a Bible camp, especially when you were supposed to be one of the counselors. She didn't even really want Summer to know about this, but Lori couldn't see any way to get the other girl back to bed without waking her up. And at least guilt would seal their lips equally well.

But that was only if Summer woke up, and she wasn't. Her mouth was busy moving from one nipple back to the other, her fingers were busy brushing through Lori's pubic hair, but her eyes merely flickered under closed eyelids without showing any signs of waking. Lori became aware of a pleasant ache in her pussy, one that had grown without her even noticing it until suddenly it was all she could think about.

"Summer, please," Lori whimpered, no longer sure what she was begging for. Her hips bucked upwards of their own volition, and she felt dampness between her thighs that made her panties cling to her skin like her shirt was clinging to her chest, only so much better. Her left hand twined helplessly through Summer's dark hair, pressing the other girl's mouth tighter against her body.

"Oh God, Summmm..." Lori clamped her mouth shut tightly before the whispered words turned into a loud moan. She couldn't trust her own voice anymore, not once Summer's fingers had slipped down to find their way inside her moist slit. Instead, she jammed her free hand into her own mouth to stifle her increasingly urgent gasps. Her eyes clenched shut, all thoughts of morality and sin and shame forgotten as the other girl rubbed her clit.

Lori bit her knuckle, hearing tiny whimpers escape around it as her arousal built past anything she'd ever imagined. She'd always thought it was so easy to be chaste, so easy to look at boys and remember the importance of waiting for the right person and the right time...but now, feeling the soft curves of a woman writhing against her body and feeling her body writhing against Summer's soft curves, Lori was astonished at how helpless her desire made her. Knowing it was wrong didn't mean she could stop.

The pleasure built to its peak so quickly Lori almost didn't know how to feel it. Her orgasm was just there all of a sudden, hitting her like a sharp blow and leaving her breathless and shaking. She'd never felt anything like it, never even imagined how good it could be. And it was good, so good; Summer was utterly devoted to prolonging every moment of bliss, drawing every moan and sigh out of Lori that she could find. Lori's first orgasm was followed by a second, then a third.

It all became too much for her. She tried to push Summer away, but the other girl wouldn't stop. Lori's mind faded from orgasm into afterglow, and the dreamy rush of post-coital endorphins blended with the exhaustion of interrupted sleep, which then mingled with Summer's ministrations until it all merged into a hazy bliss that sent Lori back down into sleep once more.

And in her dreams, she was making love all over again. Only this time, it was Amber once more.

*****

Lori almost thought it had all been a dream, when she woke and the shame had once more been pressed down under endless layers of entreaties to the Lord to forgive her sinful thoughts. For a few moments, she believed that she'd merely woken out of one dream into another, that Summer had just replaced Amber in her sleeping fantasies. But then she pulled away the covers and saw the patches of moisture on her shirt, faded considerably but not yet dry. That was when she knew it had happened. Summer had come to her in the night, made love to her without waking, and then left again.

Which made it all worse. If it was real, that made it all really so much worse. She'd actually let another woman touch her. The fantasies had been bad enough, but at least she'd told herself she couldn't control those. But now she had sinned in thought and deed. And word, too, if you counted last night's whispered blasphemy uttered in the moment of passion. She hastily threw her clothes into the hamper as if they'd been covered in blood.

The morning passed in a haze of self-recrimination for Lori. She felt as though everyone was staring at her; every glance seemed like an accusation, every smile like a knowing leer. She caught herself about to snap at Nancy Owens for what had almost certainly been an entirely innocent grin, and after that she lapsed into a sullen silence for the rest of the day.

Even then, her face felt hot all afternoon, and she felt like everyone who saw her would see her sins written on her forehead. She kept going back to her memories over and over and over again; sometimes out of guilt, imagining all the ways that she could have stopped Summer that she'd simply forgotten about in the heat of the moment, and sometimes just because she couldn't stop herself from reliving it all. She'd dreamed, she'd fantasized in her weaker moments, but her imagination couldn't compare to the reality of what she'd felt last night. She had to slip off to the bathroom after lunch to masturbate, and that only made her feel even worse about it all. She couldn't bear to even look in Summer's direction. Did Summer remember? Or had she woken up in her own bed, unaware of where she'd been and what she'd done?

Lori wished she could be like that. Summer hadn't seemed ashamed at all; she'd been like Lori was in the dream, serene and placid. She'd seemed comfortable, even happy, as though sleep washed away all her sins and left her innocent. Lori desperately envied her that tranquility. It would be worth never waking up again if she could feel the way Summer looked when she was suckling at Lori's breasts.

Privately, Lori was grateful when the weather worsened into rain. She didn't feel much like sitting around a campfire, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories; all she wanted to do was curl up in bed, fall asleep, and forget last night ever happened. But ironically, once Lori got to bed she found that she couldn't relax. She felt tense all over, wondering if Summer would return to make love to her again, and what she'd do if it happened. She tried to imagine steeling herself against the temptations of pleasure, turning Summer aside and gently guiding the other girl back to her own bed...but the fantasy kept twisting in her mind as she remembered the look of mindless bliss in those sleep-fogged eyes. Gentle but firm denials became whispered entreaties, and her imaginary self wound up in Summer's imaginary bed right alongside the other girl.

Neither idea was very conducive to sleep. So Lori lay there, wide awake, watching lightning flash through the window and wondering what she was waiting for.

When she found out, she thought she must have fallen asleep without realizing it. That was the only possible explanation, after all. Nothing else made any sense. One sleep-walker coming to her bed in the middle of the night, that was believable. Not too believable, perhaps, but Lori had lived it and knew that it had happened. But two different girls, visiting her on two different nights...she was asleep. That had to be it. When she saw Amber slowly, hesitantly approaching her bed with glassy eyes that were open but unseeing, and a blank, glazed expression on her docile face...that was just a dream. A wonderful dream, but still a dream.

Even when Lori felt Amber's fever-warm flesh touch her own, she couldn't convince herself she was awake. Because if Lori was awake, she would have stopped Amber. She wouldn't have leaned into Amber's kiss, slowly sighing as Amber's tongue insinuated its way between her lips. She was a good girl, a Christian girl, and good Christian girls didn't let other good Christian girls peel their top off and gently flick their nipples until they stood up like pencil erasers. And since Lori was letting Amber do just that, it must all be a dream.

But it felt so real. The liquid heat in Lori's pussy felt real; Amber's pale, freckled skin felt real under Lori's fingertips as she worked her way under the fabric of Amber's shirt and pulled it up to reveal Amber's perfect breasts by the light of the lightning-glare. And Amber's soft, kittenish whimpers sounded nothing like the ones Lori had imagined when she'd dreamed about kissing her way down Amber's neck to wrap her lips around those full, heavy breasts and suck and lick at them to her heart's content.

Lori inhaled deeply, filling her nostrils with Amber's scent. It was real, she knew it was, and even if it wasn't she was awake enough to know it was a sin. But Amber smelled and tasted and felt so good that Lori couldn't remember how to stop. It was like she was drowning in Amber's warmth, sinking under a tide of lust that pulled her away from everything she'd been taught and immersed her in a sensual ocean of bliss. For the first time, Lori really understood the word 'sensual'; every one of her senses was saturated with Amber's presence.

Amber moaned again, louder this time, and Lori tried to remind herself that they weren't alone. The others would hear them, they'd see them...Amber's fingers knotted in Lori's hair, pressing her head down further, and Lori moaned just as loud as Amber as she realized what she was being directed to do. The fear of being caught increased, but the arousal continued to drown it out.

Amber lay on her side facing the head of the bed, and Lori did the same facing its foot. Lori peeled off Amber's panties with a desperate urgency, captivated by the way they stickily pulled away from Amber's moist flesh. She felt Amber doing the same thing to her, and Lori's eyes rolled back in her head for a moment as she felt warm breath against her clit.

The next flash of lightning burned that instant into Lori's brain for the rest of her life, the image that would be forever synonymous with sex to her. Amber Jensen, naked, lying on her side with one knee bent akimbo, her pussy barely covered by a downy tuft of pubic hair. Eyes closed. Waiting for Lori to lean in and kiss.

Lori leaned in and kissed.

It tasted different than it had in her dreams. In her dreams, it had always tasted like warm apple pie, sweet but with just a tiny hint of tartness. But Amber tasted salty on her tongue, and the scent was a thick musk in her nostrils. The moment she tried it, Lori knew she wanted more. She pressed her face urgently against Amber's pussylips, not caring at all about the way that Amber's juices smeared across her face. She heard herself moaning into Amber's clit, and felt Amber shiver in response.

Amber's tongue was busy too, and soon Lori was having trouble concentrating on what she was doing between Amber's thighs. Amber would do something that felt so good, and Lori would try to emulate it, but then Amber would find someplace else to lick or her fingers would join her tongue and then Lori would freeze for a long moment to savor the ecstasy before she managed to remember that other things existed besides her clit. And then Amber would lick again.

Lori had given up wondering if it was a dream. It felt like reality, but it had the timeless, languorous quality of dreams. None of the other girls had woken, even when Lori's moans turned briefly into screams before settling back into whimpers. Nobody had turned on the lights to see what was going on in the dormitory. It was as if the world had paused to let the two of them make love for as long as they wanted. Lori felt like that was forever.

But her body's exhaustion finally caught up with her, in the end. She felt her eyes slipping closed for longer and longer stretches with each burst of pleasure, and her thoughts crumbled into dream-gibberish even as she tried to fight sleep long enough for one more kiss, one more lick, one more orgasm. She half-dreamed of being in her own bedroom, of floating on an ocean, and then her eyes would start open again as the sensations of Amber's tongue dragged her back to reality for just a little bit longer. The dreams blended seamlessly now into fantasies into waking bliss and back into dreams.

That was why Lori didn't panic when her head lolled back and she saw Nancy Owens watching them with a decadent grin on her face. She was simply too tired to be afraid, and too muzzy to be sure if what she saw was even real. She just stared at Nancy for a long moment, taking in the sight of the other girl naked and masturbating and watching the two of them making love by lightning, before her eyes slipped shut one final time and she fell asleep completely.

*****

The next morning, though, Lori was anything but sanguine about what she'd seen. Far from it; once she hastily stripped the damp and musky sheets from her bed and hurriedly dumped them into the hamper, she spent the rest of the morning trying to figure out what to do about it. Had she really seen Nancy playing with herself, or had that just been one more perverse fantasy invented by her wicked lusts? If Nancy really had seen them, was she going to tell someone about it? And how could Lori find out without giving away what she'd done?

If she'd felt self-conscious yesterday, it was nothing compared to today. Every time Amber looked at her, Lori felt convinced that she was about to confront her about the events of last night. Each glance provoked a whirlwind of vivid waking dreams, ranging from Amber denouncing her as a lesbian pervert to the whole camp to Amber taking her aside, confessing that she'd enjoyed their tryst, and forcing her tongue into Lori's mouth. But even in those wonderful, awful fantasies, she couldn't stop remembering Nancy's hungry gaze, her darkly glittering eyes, her sinister smile...

Lori went through the day in a daze, her mind occupied with finding ways to get the truth out of Nancy without giving herself away. At lunch, she sat at a table in the corner by herself, constructing and discarding query after innocuous query, hoping to find something that she could say without her voice cracking from fear, and every scenario played itself out in her head to a dismal conclusion of shame, humiliation and ostracism. But she had to find some way, Lori knew. She couldn't just let this question hang over her head every night for the rest of her life. She had to find out what Nancy knew about her somehow, or--

"So," Nancy said, sitting down next to her. "Was Amber better for you than Summer? I heard you whisper Amber's name when you woke up the other night, figured that maybe you'd prefer her. But if you want, I can send you Summer again tonight. Or if there's another girl you'd like even more, just say so."