You know you've screwed up when you accidentally bring an entire airport to a standstill

Some of us make minor blunders — like showing up a few minutes late for
an interview, or forgetting to send a thank-you note immediately after —
but others, it turns out, make catastrophic errors.

The good news is no matter how big or bad your mistakes are, you almost always learn something from them.

To find some of the worst gaffes interns have made, we looked through a Quora thread that posed the question: "What is the most catastrophic mistake made by an intern at a company?"

Here are some of our favorite responses:

1. User Michael Shiplet
says at the last company he worked for, his team had been trying to
secure a corporate partnership with UPS for about a year. "Everyone on
the team had done backbreaking research, and the lead sales roles had
spent several hundred hours crafting the higher levels of what this
partnership would mean for both companies and drafting it into a
beautiful partnership proposal (and I mean beautiful to read and to look
at)," he explains. "And then I FedExed it to them."

Shiplet says his company lost the partnership a few business days later.

2. An anonymous user writes: "About 18 years ago as a student, I was
doing research at London's Heathrow Airport, working in a room just
below the control tower. We were listening to the control tower
instructions and timing how long the pilots took to respond," he says.

His colleague left for lunch one day after accidentally turning his
radio onto "broadcast" mode by accident. "[This] meant that no one was
able to send or receive messages on the frequency that was being used to
give take off permission," he explains. "I returned back to my desk and
started to eat my lunch to discover that all departures from the
airport had been brought to a standstill by someone who sounded like
they were eating their lunch.

"The realization that it was the sound of MY lunch being eaten hit me
about 10 minutes later. I rushed over and flicked the switch to off, and
one of the busiest international airports in the world started to work
again."

He says he was never caught.

3. Another anonymous source writes about how he was working in a
downtown high-rise building as a manager for a tech-support outsourcer
when, one night, some of his employees "had gotten hold of a couple of
keychain laser pointers back when they first came out."

"So they were shining the laser pointers out the windows of the 24th
floor of this building, where our offices were located. And it just so
happened that they shone them into the windows of the hotel across the
street. And it just so happened that on that particular night, the
President of the United States was staying on that floor of the hotel in
the room that faced our building."

"That's the only time I've ever met the Secret Service, and they don't have a sense of humor," the Quora user writes.

4. One anonymous user writes: "I once brushed against the wrong power
switch and disconnected every telephone call being intercepted by a
state police department at the time."

Why taking a Stuart Smalley approach can help you get the job

It's natural to be nervous going into a job interview, especially now
that the government says the number of job openings has been falling.
But a new study says there are two anxiety cues that could really hurt
your chances: low assertiveness and talking s-l-o-w-l-y.

By contrast, don't worry too much about other tics that might make an
interviewer think you're anxious. "If you fidget a little or adjust your
clothes, no one will notice much," said Deborah M. Powell, an assistant
professor of psychology at the University of Guelph in Canada, who
conducted the study with colleague Amanda Feiler. Their work was
published in the Journal of Business and Psychology in an article called
Behavioral Expression of Job Interview Anxiety.

Rating Job Candidates on Anxiety
Powell and Feiler had 119 Guelph students in the school's co-op program
complete mock interviews with employees of Co-op and Career Services as
part of their preparation applying for positions. They asked the "job
applicants" to rate themselves for interview anxiety and asked the
interviewers to rate the candidates on that, too. Then the interviewers
rated the performance of the applicants. (Powell told me she couldn't
think of any reason her study's results would have been different with
older job candidates.)

The researchers noted that earlier research found that candidates who
were anxious in job interviews received significantly lower ratings on
their interview performance and were less likely to be hired. But there
hadn't been any research showing whether anxious interviewees were any
less suitable for the job.

"That was our motivation for doing this," said Powell. "If you get a
poor rating, you might be missing out on a job that you are
well-qualified for."

How Anxiety Shows Up in Interviews
Interview anxiety shows up in all sorts of ways, Powell told me. For
example: stuttering, verbal fillers, appearing rigid, showing little eye
contact and shaky hands. But her study concluded that low assertiveness
and slow talking were the only types that really mattered to
interviewers.

"People who were less anxious looked more assertive to the interviewers and did better in the interviews," said Powell.

Does this mean that shy people have a strike against them when they
apply for a job? "Could be," said Powell. Her advice: "If you're not
naturally extroverted, you need to make sure you sell your skills. Don't
be afraid to take ownership of your contribution to a project."

Slow talking proved problematic, Powell said, because interviewers felt
it meant the candidates had more trouble coming up with detailed answers
to their questions.

How to Be Better in Job Interviews
Powell said the results of the study indicated that when you go into an
interview, you should focus less on your nervous tics and more on the
broader impressions you convey. Assertiveness and "interpersonal warmth"
are critical.

"Be confident, optimistic, professional and likable," she said. "Those make the big difference in an interview."

To get better at these things, advised Powell, do practice interviews
with a friend or family member — "especially if you don't like talking
about yourself." You want to go into the interview with a "positive
image of yourself in your head," noted Powell.

Think of this as Saturday Night Live's Stuart Smalley approach: "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."

Powell's advice for interview slow talkers: Rehearse answers to
questions you're likely to be asked, providing details in your
responses. That could lead the interviewer to talk you up internally and
help result in a job offer.

Maybe you need a little tough love

You might be wondering how, in fact, a bad review could be a blessing.
Well, hear me out. Let's face it: absolutely no one looks forward to
performance reviews, which typically occur right before the new year.
It's even more frightening to hear your boss mid-year say, "We need you
to improve your performance," regardless of the industry. So why is this
a good thing?

Invested in you. If your boss really didn't care about your value, they would say nothing and start looking for your replacement. Plenty of superiors will keep quiet
and let your poor work slide, either saying they are too busy to train
you or praying someone else will. An employer's constructive critique of
your performance indicates that they are invested in you. If they
didn't think you have a future at the firm or actually have the
potential to improve, they would keep their mouths shut.Fear silence. If you can hear a pin drop every time your boss is around you, that's when you should be scared. If your boss is silent towards you
but complimentary (or course-correcting) toward the rest of the team,
you have a big problem. If your boss is quiet towards everyone, though,
then that's okay – if it's her personality. Perk up your ears to hear
what she is telling everyone else and how often – daily, weekly,
monthly. For the most part, you want to hear praise from your boss every
few months. She'll do this to reinforce your behavior. If your
performance is slipping, and she sees potential in you, she'll speak up.
If your performance is taking a tumble and she's quiet – be worried.Drowning in work. You might immediately think that
you are in the dog house if your boss is dumping on the work all of
sudden. It just depends on the type of work. Is it mainly clerical,
last-minute and ultimately not desirable? These are all negative signs.
If it's working on an important presentation (because someone else was
underperforming) it can be a good sign. If you seem to always be getting
the grunt work while the rest of the team is off to a happy hour around
4:00, you are no longer in your boss's good graces. It would be a good
idea to reevaluate your position.
Are you happy? Are you doing the best you can do? If you want to stay,
seek your boss and ask for constructive criticism. If she's still quiet
and your situation hasn't improved, it's time to look for work
elsewhere.

And the CEO of Airbnb definitely has it.

One possible reason? The startup founder's ability to inspire awe in his people.

Take for example the company's headquarters, which allows people to
transcend San Francisco and enter another world by simply picking a
conference room; the company's core mission to entirely reimagine the
way we travel today; or the endless Airbnb listings that show us homes
we never would have known existed.

It's hard to imagine an employee that hasn't at one time or another experienced large-scale wonder at work there.

People who possess the ability to elicit these feelings of awe in others
could be highly effective leaders says Paul Piff, an assistant
professor of psychology and social behavior at University of California,
Berkeley — that is if they use their powers for good.

During a series of studies recently published by the American
Psychological Association in the "Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology," Piff and his team of researchers found that inducing a
sense of awe in people could promote generous, helpful, and positive
social behavior.

"We find that awe makes people more ethical, less entitled, more
cooperative — all of which often play key roles in organizational and
workplace success," Piff explained to Business Insider.

During one study, for example, researchers had a group of volunteers
stand in a grove of towering trees and look up at them for one minute
while another group looked instead at a tall building. Then
experimenters spilled a handful of pens, seemingly by accident, and
volunteers in awe of the vast trees were deemed to be the most helpful
in picking them up.

Piff says awe also has the potential to promote curiosity and openness
to novelty, both of which are central to creativity. It could make
people more cooperative and team-oriented, more attuned to collective
interests, and identify more strongly with their organizations.

The researchers wrote that they believe awe induces a feeling of being
diminished in the presence of something greater than oneself. This
diminished sense of self shifts focus away from an individual's need and
toward the greater good.

The studies used a variety of methods to test the effect of awe
including showing video clips of nature and of colored water droplets
colliding with a bowl of milk.

"The common thread across all of those manipulations is that each one,
however different in content, exposed people to something vast that
transcended their understanding of the world, or their default mode of
seeing the world," Piff explained.

A leader could orchestrate this in a number of different ways, Piff
says, including incorporating collective rituals at work, time outdoors,
art, music, and dance.

You've been hearing this your whole life. And as it turns out, this
instruction is just as relevant and imperative now — while you look for a
job — as it was when you were trying to pass your seventh grade math
class.

Being prepared will not only boost your confidence going into a job
interview, but it will allow you to better answer the hiring manager's
questions and show them how committed you are to the job and company. It
also says a lot about the type of person you are.

In a recent interview
with Adam Bryant of the New York Times, Lori Dickerson Fouché, CEO of
Group Insurance at Prudential Financial, said she always wants to know
whether a candidate has done their due diligence on the company, "and
that they have a passion for wanting to work at our company."

"I want them to care enough to have done their research to make sure that there's also a good cultural fit," she told Bryant.

To determine whether they've done their homework, she asks: "What kind
of cultures do you like to work in? Where do you excel? How do you
excel? If you find yourself in situations where they're not going the
way you want them to, what do you do?"

"How people conduct themselves when they face challenges is really important," she explained.

Fouché said that she looks for resilience and perseverance in the
candidate's responses to these questions. "Most of my background has
been working in big companies, and you have to find a way to navigate
and negotiate to an end result. It could be a winding path. So I make
sure that people feel like they know how to do that, and do it in a way
that is respectful of the system."

"And then if they're in a leadership position," she added, "I want to know how they lead people."

To do that, she asks questions about difficult leadership situations and
how the candidate managed people through them. "I'll also want to
understand how they make their own hiring and firing decisions," she
told Bryant.

Napping at your desk would not be advised

It's 2 p.m. and you're starting to feel the effects of last night's insomnia.

As you feel your eyelids start to get heavier, you're thinking that nothing would be better than a quick nap.

Of course, whether you're at your desk or in the middle of a meeting, a nap would be very bad for your career.

But what can you do when your body simply won't cooperate?

Here are some things to try the next time you're feeling the lure of sleep during the workday:

Drink Something
Studies have found that one of the side effects of dehydration is
fatigue. Grab a bottle of water before your next meeting and take a
generous swig every time you feel sleepy.

If you need a quick boost, stop by the office coffee pot and pour
yourself enough caffeine to get you over that afternoon slump. At the
very least, your repeated trips to the restroom will keep you from
falling asleep.

Take a Walk
A brisk walk will get your adrenaline pumping, releasing those
endorphins that make you feel energized and alert. When you find
yourself drifting off at your desk, a quick walk around the block can be
just enough to get you back on track.

Your boss probably will be far more forgiving of you disappearing
outside for a quick break than snoring at your desk. If the weather
outside isn't ideal for walking, take a quick walk around the building
or run up and down the stairs a couple of times.

Step Outside
Even if you can't take a walk, a few minutes outside can do wonders to
wake up your brain. The sunlight reminds your body that it's daytime,
kicking in natural process designed to keep you awake during the day and
asleep during nighttime hours.

If weather permits, you can combine your outside activities with a little exercise for added benefits.

Just Breathe
If you're stuck in a meeting when drowsiness sets in, many of the above
methods will be out of the question. Try taking slow, deep breaths as
quietly as you can manage. Your co-workers will have no idea what you're
doing and your breathing exercises will help your body's oxygen levels,
giving your sleepiness the kick in the backside that it needs.

Listen to Music
We all have that song that wakes us up and gets us moving. Find that
song and play it through earbuds when you're feeling sleepy. If midday
slumps are a normal occurrence, consider making a playlist that you can
fall back on whenever you need some wake-up music.

If your office is private, feel free to dance around a little. The movement will provide the molt of adrenaline you need.

Chew Ice
It's difficult to fall asleep while you're chewing on ice. The extreme
cold will ignite your senses and you'll be too busy chewing to doze off.
If your place of work has an ice machine or cafeteria, keep a cup on
hand to fill up whenever you need a quick refresher.

Try a Snack
There are healthy snacks you can keep on hand that will battle the
afternoon slump without relying on sugar or caffeine. Foods like roasted
edamame, baked chips, and fruit are great for waking you up and they
won't add to your waistline.

The best way to battle daytime sleepiness is to get a good night's
sleep. For that occasion when that simply doesn't happen, these tips can
give you that extra jolt you need to get through the rest of the day.

Consider the marshmallow test

Despite being very accomplished in general, Mike feels like he wastes a
ton of time catching up on Facebook, checking the baseball standings,
and playing games on his phone.

It's as if he finds himself doing it again at every turn throughout the workday.

Toward the end of each day, he gets furious with himself about how much
more he could have done if he had avoided those distractions.

But they are his solace moments of fun during a tough day.

When he's been working on a spreadsheet for 30 minutes, for example, and
his mind starts to drift, those things are extremely tempting.

"Just for a few minutes," he tells himself, starting to wonder how many
people 'liked' his funny photo of his kids from the night before.

There is something Mike can do, however, to avoid these temptations.
More specifically, there is one thing he can stop doing, and one thing
he can start doing.

First, what to stop doing. When Mike began to imagine how many 'likes'
he had for his photo, he was focusing on the reward value of the
temptation. He was thinking about what would feel good about checking
his post.

Don't focus on how rewarding the temptation is
A study conducted at Dartmouth College showed what's happening in the
brain when we fail to resist temptations. The researchers tracked people
in their daily lives — succeeding or failing at resisting temptations —
and also examined brain activity when the same people were presented
with images of similar temptations in the lab. There were several
findings, but I think one is particularly telling.

People who failed more at resisting temptation in real life also showed
greater activity in an area of the brain called the nucleus accumbens,
which is commonly thought of as being critical for reward processing.
That is, those people whose brains were more focused on the rewarding
aspects of the temptation were more likely to cave in to temptation.

This fits with lessons from children in the famous marshmallow tests. In
that research, kids of about 3½ to 5½ years old were offered a
marshmallow or a different treat, and selected which they would rather
eat.

But then they were asked to wait an unspecified amount of time, until
the experimenter came back into the room, before they could eat the one
they had chosen. If they didn't want to wait, they could call the
experimenter in, but then they'd only get the other treat that they
hadn't chosen.

Those kids who focused their thoughts on the treats instead of on
something else were much faster to cave in and more likely to cave in at
all, rather than holding out for the one they preferred.

Mike can do his brain a favor, and not think about how rewarding it will
be to check his facebook status. Rewards come in many flavors –
something can be appealing, enjoyable, informative, interesting,
exciting, or so on. That's what not to focus on. But what should he
think of, instead, if not focusing on how rewarding his temptation is?

Tips from Heidi Grant Halvorson's "No One Understands You and What to Do About It"

Coming across as competent isn't just a matter of looking polished and dressing the part.

Turns out digging a little deeper and honing in on how you interact with others will yield far better results.

When done right, appearing competent is an essential way to get ahead at
work, writes Columbia University professor Heidi Grant Halvorson in her
book "No One Understands You And What To Do About It."

It can help you win the trust of bosses, colleagues, and employees alike, which is key to having valuable allies at work.

Here are Halvorson's four psychological strategies to conveying your effectiveness.

1. Demonstrate your strong willpower.
Would you trust a colleague that has a serious self-control problem with an important project? Probably not.

A study out of VU University Amsterdam found that when you publicly
engage in behaviors indicative of low willpower, your trustworthiness
diminishes.

While someone's personal behaviors would ideally remain personal, they
suggest to outsiders whether or not the individual is able to adhere to
the standards of any healthy relationship, which could include the ones
you have at work.

Whether you smoke, overeat, are perpetually late, or spend impulsively,
to better convey competence to your colleagues, you either need to quit
or at the very least keep it to yourself.

2. Beware of seeming cocky.
Whatever you do, don't confuse confidence with competence. While you can
never have too much competence, there is a healthy — and unhealthy—
dose of confidence to be aware of.

The dangers of overconfidence include being underprepared, setting
unrealistic goals, biting off more than you can chew, and generally
making bad choices, Halvorson explains. And all this leads to being the
least popular guy in the office.

Instead, convey a realistic sense of confidence that shows modesty.
You'll be less likely to threaten your colleagues' self esteem, and your
mistakes won't elicit nearly as many cheers from your cubemates.

3. Use body-language to your advantage.
Any easy way to appear more competent is by simply making eye contact
while speaking. Studies have shown that those who do so are consistently
judged as more intelligent.

Halvorson also suggests speaking faster, gesturing and nodding, and
sitting up straight, which have all been found to lead to greater
perceptions of competence.

Another interesting tactic is adopting power poses made famous by social
psychologist Amy Cuddy. By standing or sitting in an expansive way
(legs apart, arms spread wide, leaning forward) you're not only
conveying confidence to others, but you're also triggering immediate
changes in your body chemistry that make you more powerful, which
Halvorson explains goes hand-in-hand with competence.

"Adopting a high-power pose is a great way to subtly signal your
competence — especially if you aren't the type to sing your own praises —
while simultaneously providing a power boost to help you tackle your
next challenge," Halvorson writes.

4. Emphasize what you can do, not what you have done.
We have an unconscious bias to be more impressed with the "next big thing" than the "big thing" that's already happened.

During a recent study by Harvard and Stanford researchers, participants
evaluated two job candidates and determined their fit for a leadership
position. Both candidates had equally impressive backgrounds, but one
had two years of relevant job experience and high scores on a test of
leadership achievement and the other had zero years of relevant job
experience and high scores on a test of leadership potential.

The study participants believed the second candidate — who had no
experience, but great leadership potential — would be better suited for
the job, which is not surprising considering how our human brains work.

Our brains pay more attention to uncertain information, Halvorson
explains, because they want to figure it out. This leads to longer and
more in-depth processing of this information, and as long as the
information available is favorable, the extra processing leaves us with a
more positive view of someone's competence.

So even if you have an impressive track record for success, Halvorson
suggests focusing your pitch, whatever it may be, on your future, not
your past. "It's what you could be that makes people sit up and take
notice," she writes.

High unemployment, low monthly incomes plague these locales

Job prospects are looking better this year for recent college grads, but that doesn't mean all US cities are experiencing the same hiring boom.

Employment opportunities vary significantly based on geography, and some
cities still lag behind when it comes to things like job growth and
unemployment rates.

To determine the worst places for recent college graduates to launch their burgeoning careers, personal finance site WalletHub
analyzed and ranked the 150-most-populous US cities based on 19 metrics
pertaining to professional opportunities and quality of life.

Metrics included the number of entry-level jobs per 10,000 residents,
housing affordability, annual job growth rate, recreation ranking,
unemployment rate, and number of leisure establishments in the area.
(Read the full report and methodology here.)

10. Milwaukee, Wisconsin

1/10

Monthly median starting salary: $2,186
Number of entry-level jobs per 10,000 residents: 26
With stalling population growth and poor economic mobility,
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, landed the No. 147 spot for overall professional
opportunities and No. 122 for quality of life.

9. Mobile, Alabama

2/10

Monthly median starting salary: $2,388
Entry-level jobs per 10,000 residents: 12
Mobile, Alabama, has few single people to hang out with and even
fewer entry-level jobs, earning the city an overall
professional-opportunities rank of No. 133 and overall quality-of-life
score of 149 out of 150.

8. Modesto, California

3/10

Monthly median starting salary: $1,908
Entry-level jobs per 10,000 residents: 13
With a high unemployment rate and very few things to do in your
downtime, Modesto, California, might not be the best place to start out.
The city comes in at No. 138 for overall professional opportunities and
No. 141 for overall quality of life. Modesto does rank seventh for its
great weather, though.

Leah Remini to aspiring actors: "You can't give up if it is something you truly love"

In honor of graduation season, personal finance website NerdWallet recently asked 27 successful business leaders, executives, musicians, actors, and athletes to share their best career advice for the Class of 2015.

Here are some highlights.

T.J. Miller
Comedian and actor; Star of HBO's "Silicon Valley"

Advice for recent grads: "Work harder than anyone else
around you and be nice. That truly is the formula. It worked for me and I
have mediocre talent and a horse jaw. And as a good friend of mine
says: 'Know who you are and don't apologize for it.' -Erlich Bachman"

Amy Ockert
Competitive Strategy Director at Whole Foods Market

Advice for recent grads: "The best thing is to find a
mentor that you admire. Not your manager or even someone in your
department, but someone you respect professionally. Bounce ideas off
your mentor, work with him/her on issues that arise at work, and glean
information to help your development as a professional."

Leah Remini
Actress; star of CBS's "The King of Queens"

Advice for recent grads: "To aspiring actors: It is not
an easy business for everyone, you have to love to entertain and you
have to go in it for that reason, because if that is truly what is in
your heart, those times you are told no will not allow you to give up.
You can't give up if it is something you truly love."

Eric Bahn
Product Manager at Facebook; cofounder of Hustlecon

Advice for recent grads: "Your network will become
increasingly important as you progress in your career. Once you build a
reputation and build the right contacts, then you'll never have to apply
for a job again - opportunities will come to you. When you encounter an
interesting person, grab their e-mail and add their info into a master
list of network contacts. Write an annual e-mail during the holidays to
your master list to keep your contacts warm and updated; you'll be
amazed how effective this tactic is."

Brian Lee
CEO and founder of The Honest Company; founder of ShoeDazzle

Advice for recent grads: "Find something that truly inspires you, and join a company that has the same passion, or start one yourself."

Advice for recent grads: "To be bold and fearless. The
world needs new, fresh ideas! The world needs you! Don't conform or be
afraid to try and fail. Failure is an important ingredient to success.
You'll be happier and more proud of your results when you take the
risk."

Sam Reich
Head of Original Video at CollegeHumor

Advice for recent grads: "My advice for people starting
out in this industry is always this: (a) Do what you love to do, a lot,
for free, until you get great at it. (b) Get any job you can somewhere
you'd like to work - no matter how stupid it seems at the time. Many of
our best writers are former interns. Murph, who is one of our
writer-cast members, started as CollegeHumor's front desk guy!"

Katrina Lake
CEO of Stitch Fix

Advice for recent grads: "Focus on finding roles where
you can learn, grow, and develop most. Make sure you work for someone
you admire, and that your manager can be a mentor and champion for you
in your career today but also for the years to come."

Advice for recent grads: "Relax. Almost nothing you're
worried about today will define your tomorrow. Down the road, don't be
afraid to take a pay cut to follow your passion. But do stash a few
bucks in a 401(k) now."

Advice for recent grads: "There has never been an
easier time to start a business. There are so many free online tools.
Just start, and if you fail you can always go and get a normal job, but
you will learn so much along the way it will be a great experience."

Patrick Lee
Cofounder and former CEO of Rotten Tomatoes

Advice for recent grads: "If you want to do your own
startup, you don't need a job to get experience first. You will learn
faster doing your own thing than working at some entry-level job. You
will make mistakes (lots of them), but that is all part of the learning
process. If you want to learn to swim, don't be afraid of getting wet."

If you're uttering "I'm sorry" all the time in a
professional setting, it can negatively impact how you're viewed by
your peers and superiors, and have a lasting impact on your career.

Last year, Pantene debuted an advertisement
showing women apologizing in various situations, including at the
office, sparking a conversation about whether women say they're sorry
too much, especially in circumstances where it's unwarranted.

A study
a few years back from the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada,
also examined this issue and found that women do say they're sorry more
often than men. And while men do apologize, they have a higher threshold
for what they think warrants a need for forgiveness.

Whether
it's a man or a woman saying it, if you're uttering "I'm sorry" all the
time in a professional setting, it can negatively impact how you're
viewed by your peers and superiors, and have a lasting impact on your
career.

"I believe women – and oftentimes emotionally tuned-in men
– fall into this trap of saying 'I'm sorry,' because they want everyone
to be happy," says Heather Neisen, HR manager at TechnologyAdvice.
"Saying 'I'm sorry' to even a minor issue is what we are taught to do
when we are very young. In the workplace, there's a sense that to be
liked and respected you need to make sure everyone is happy. If an issue
arises though, most likely the first thing someone will say is 'I'm
sorry.' Wanting to make sure everyone is happy is a huge burden to bear
and it's frankly impossible to control other people's emotions."

The pre-apologyIt's
one thing to apologize for genuine wrongdoing, but it's another to do
it when you're afraid you're inconveniencing someone by asking a
question or challenging an idea. This is what Karin Hurt, CEO of Let's Grow Leaders, calls the "pre-apology." According to Hurt, examples of the "pre-apology" include:

"I'm so sorry to take up so much of your time, but I have an idea."

"I'm sorry, this is probably not what you're looking for, but here's the spreadsheet you asked for."

"I'm sorry I couldn't have spent more time on it."

"The
tragedy is that what often follows is a great idea or terrific work.
However, it may not be viewed from this lens if you've already
apologized for it being substandard," Hurt says. The impact on your careerNeisen
says that constantly apologizing can harm your career for several
reasons. "Overall, this can negatively impact a career because it can
cause either burnout (due to stress) or it could potentially cause an
employee to make poor decisions based on emotions and what others prefer
instead of what is best for him or her. Additionally, apologizing all
the time will tend to make others think that you are not confident or
not sure of your decisions. Ultimately, this can weaken someone's
ability to lead well."
Jenn DeWall, career and life coach
and motivational speaker, agrees. "Saying sorry too much can negatively
impact your perception and reputation as a strong leader. Your boss or
peers may make assumptions that you do not have a backbone and aren't
willing to stand up for your work or ideas."Stopping the cycle of "I'm sorry"Christopher G. Fox, founder of Kindness Communication,
a new venture focusing on promoting kindness to achieve better results
and greater focus in organizations, says that to stop the habit, you
need to first be cognizant of it happening, and second, imagine yourself
not saying it.
"If you know the topic of discussion in advance,
rehearse stating your position without saying sorry a few times; say it
out loud to yourself in the mirror at home the night before," he
suggests. "Finally, if you have a good ally in the mix often, ask her or
him to be your 'sorry buddy' and point out to you after the fact that
you've said it. It's not just useful feedback afterwards. It also helps
you feel accountable in the moment."
DeWall recommends becoming
more of an active listener. "Listen to the concerns that are being
addressed and think about how they tie to the big picture. Respond
strategically without personalizing the feedback or outcome to you,
which forces the need to apologize. By doing this, you are able to
process tense or stressful situations with a more calm approach and
provide a logical solution that contributes to the resolution without
assuming personal responsibility for something that was unrelated to
you."

You're proofreading, right?

As easily as an impressive cover letter can land you an interview, a
generic and rushed one can send your application straight to the "no"
pile.

We turned to Amanda Augustine, career management expert and spokesperson
at TheLadders, an online job-matching service for professionals, and
asked about the most common cover letter pitfalls.

Here are eight costly errors to avoid:

1. Not having one at all
TheLadders found that 50% of recruiters believe a cover letter is
essential, while the other half admitted to never reading them. "Since
you don't know which type of recruiter will read your application, it's
better to play it safe and include a cover letter," recommends
Augustine.

However, if you're applying to a position online and are asked to upload
your materials to an electronic system, make sure they provide a spot
to include your cover letter, she advises. "There's no point of taking
the time to carefully craft the document if the application won't accept
it."

2. Using a generic template
"Sending a general cover letter with every job application is just as
bad as not sending any cover letter at all," says Augustine. "If you are
using the exact same cover letter for every job application and simply
swapping out the company name, you're wasting your time. Your cover
letter shouldn't be an after-thought."

Customize each cover letter you write, she says. Use it as opportunity
to detail why you would be a great fit for the specific position, and
don't be afraid to infuse some personality to stand out from the crowd.

3. Opening with "Dear sir" or "Dear madam"
Figure out exactly who you're sending your cover letter to and address
them by name. "Do a little online snooping and check with your network
to see if you can determine the name of the hiring manager or the
recruiter in charge of the job opening," she suggests.

However, this is easier said than done in some instances. You may have
to use to a generic "Dear Recruiter" opening, she admits, but only
resort to this after you've put in all the research you possibly could.

4. Not carefully proofreading
According to a social recruiting survey, 66% of recruiters reconsidered a
candidate whose social media profiles contained spelling and
grammatical errors. If they don't take well to typos on Facebook or
Twitter, they likely will toss your application if your cover letter is
plagued with mistakes.

You should have multiple sets of eyes making edits. "Carefully proofread
your cover letter. Then read it again. Then have a friend proofread
it," Augustine says.

5. It's all about you
While it can be beneficial to show some personality in your cover
letter, be wary of going overboard or delving into irrelevant
information. "Recruiters don't care that you've always dreamed of
working in fashion," explains Augustine. "They want to understand why
you're interested in this position and more importantly, why you're
qualified for the role."

Your cover letter is prime real estate. Use the bulk of it to focus on
explaining how your experience and skillset will meet the employer's
needs.

6. Worshiping the company
It can be tempting, but resist the urge to shower the hiring manager
with compliments in your cover letter. "Don't tell them you love their
company; instead, specifically mention something about their brand,
company mission or strategic direction that you strongly support,"
Augustine says. "In other words, prove that you've done your homework
and know something about the company or industry."

7. It's too long
Recruiters spend an average of six seconds scanning your résumé. They cherish brevity.

"A good cover letter should be no longer than one page," says Augustine.
"Remember, the recruiter already has your résumé. There's no need to
rehash your entire work history all over again. Instead, use this
opportunity to highlight your qualifications that matter most for this
role."

8. There's no 'call to action'
You want to end your cover letter with a bang by reiterating your
enthusiasm and creating a "call to action." Rather than just thanking
the employer for their consideration, take a more proactive approach;
let them know that you will follow up within a week and encourage them
to reach out with any questions that may arise.

"Don't leave the ball in the recruiter's court," says Augustine. "Create
the next step in the process so you have the opportunity to follow up."

58% of US managers report working more than 40 hours a week

If your ideal job involves clocking in at 9 and heading home at 5, good luck finding it.

According to new research from tax and consulting firm EY, people across the globe are working longer hours than ever before.

In a global survey of 9,700 adults between ages 18 and 67, nearly half
(46%) of managers around the world reported logging more than 40 hours a
week, and 40% said their hours have increased over the past five years.

Americans have it particularly bad: 58% of managers in the US reported
working over 40 hours a week. The only country where people work longer
hours is Mexico, where 61% said the same.

Compare that to China, where just 19% of managers said they work over 40 hours a week.Ernst & Young
The survey found that parents have seen their hours increase more than
nonparents. Among managers, 41% of full-time working parents said
they've seen their hours increase in the last five years, as opposed to
37% of nonparents.

So it's of little surprise that one-third of full-time employees said
it's gotten harder to balance work and family in the past five years.

In fact, while most people said they value flexibility at work, about
10% of US employees who have tried to implement a flexible schedule said
they've suffered a negative consequence, like being denied a promotion,
as a result.

Companies would be wise to rethink their flexible-schedule policies if
they want to retain workers. More than two-thirds of respondents said
they would consider quitting a job if their boss didn't allow them to
work flexibly.

You can't do it all--and you shouldn't expect yourself to be able to

The next step was learning to say "no" without offering an excuse and/or apology.

To become a habit, this new skill continues to take practice.

However, the benefits are many and have allowed me to rethink the way I spend my time and energy.

Practicing "no" has become quite liberating and has helped me balance what really matters in both my work and life.

As Jim Collins, the author of "Good to Great" puts it, "'Stop doing'
lists are more important than 'to do' lists." This new muscle has become
my North Star and taught me that by saying "no," opportunities for
"yes" moments become possible.

More often than not, women struggle with guilt and not being able to do
it all, apologizing and explaining along the way; why we can't
accommodate a last-minute work project or why we need to leave a meeting
to handle daycare pickup or attend our child's soccer game.

Life is busy. Work is busy. Our minds are busy. Saying no gives us
permission to manage our time by eliminating the clutter of unnecessary
obligations. We live in a culture that glorifies busy so it is no wonder
that we can easily mistake activity for progress.

Learning to say "no" is just one of the many lessons I have learned over
my career. We never stop learning and growing if we remain open to new
ideas, perspectives and ways to lead our own lives.

Curiosity has fueled my interest in what brings us success and happiness
in the workplace, not just from my own experiences of success and
failure but of others who have so generously shared their stories. I
have always believed that we should not reinvent the wheel, but rather
discover and share best practices.

Here's a few lessons learned that could help you get where you want to be:

1. Be your authentic self.
Start with an understanding of who you are, what you are passionate
about and where you should be: Am I in the right career? Am I in the
right job? Do I fit into this culture? Don't try to be someone else
because that person is already taken. You become the leader of your life
when you step into your true self. Only you can do this critical work
to deeply understand you.

2. Show up with a positive attitude.
Be the person others want to be around. Happy and positive people bring
tremendous energy and goodwill to an organization. You'll be surprised
at how your attitude will affect others, as well as yourself.

3. Be thoughtful and strategic about your success.
No matter where you land in your career, it is up to you to figure out
how to succeed. Learn the culture of both your company and the people
around you. Take time to understand the mission of the organization and
your department.

Figure out how to bring value to your job, your department and your
boss. It is irrelevant if you love your boss – what matters is how you
help him or her succeed. If you keep this in mind, you will never lose.

4. Do what you say you'll do.
Build trust by following through on your commitments. Be wise and
realistic about what resources and time are needed to deliver on a
commitment. It is easy to overpromise with the best of intentions.
However, it is those who under promise and over deliver that will win in
the end. This is where saying "no" comes in handy!

5. Practice positive self-talk.
A negative internal dialogue can slowly chip away at your confidence.
This takes practice, but life is so much sweeter when you choose to look
at your career and life from a place of appreciation rather than
complaint.

6. Network, not just online but in person.
Networking can make us uncomfortable but everything we accomplish in
life is because of our network of relationships. Social media does not
replace face-to-face human connection. No one can support or advocate
for you if they don't know you or what you do.

Make time for, and be strategic, about relationship building and
remember that connections can happen anywhere: at the office, in a
coffee shop, in the elevator. Cultivating your network must be part of
your schedule and routine. More importantly, don't be afraid to use your
connections.

7. Be a mentor to others, especially women.
I wouldn't be where I am without people who were willing to teach me not
just about my career, but about life. I have learned that sometimes the
smallest insight, suggestion or positive feedback can make the
difference for someone's career. Reach for mentors and be a mentor at
every stage.

8. Stop living an inbox life.
There's a constant stream of requests coming in at work and at home. It
is easy to spend most of our time reacting to others' needs. Living an
outbox life is prioritizing what is most important. This habit is life
changing and will enable you to feel more in charge of your time and
your career.

9. Don't let fear hold you back.
Our fears can be crippling but also give us our most important lessons.
An Eleanor Roosevelt quote that guides me is "Do the thing you fear
most." I believe the things we fear most are actually the lessons we
must learn.

Often women tell me that they are not leaders. My response is always the
same: "Each of us is a leader because at the very least, we are leading
our own life."

When we look at our life this way, it takes victim out and puts personal
responsibility in. By taking the lead of our lives without apologizing
and learning to say "no," we make room for what truly matters.

Study suggests it could pay to work in shorter bursts

So many professionals believe the more hours they put in and the later they stay at work, the more successful they'll be.

But a study published in the Psychological Review conducted by Dr. K. Anders Ericsson proves that when it comes to your time spent in the office, quality trumps quantity.

Ericsson and his team evaluated a group of musicians to find out what
the "excellent" players were doing differently, and discovered that they
were working harder in shorter bursts of time.

For instance, violinists who practiced more deliberately, say for four
hours, accomplished more than others who slaved away for seven hours.
The best performers set goals for their practice sessions and required
themselves to take breaks.

Looking at the chart, you can see that the best violin students
practiced with greater intensity just before the lunch hour and then
took a break before starting up again at 4 p.m. - whereas the other
students practiced more steadily throughout the entire day.
The researchers found that successful people in other professions had similar habits:

"While completing a novel, famous authors tend to write only for four
hours during the morning, leaving the rest of the day for rest and
recuperation. Hence successful authors, who can control their work
habits and are motivated to optimize their productivity, limit their
most important intellectual activity to a fixed daily amount when
working on projects requiring long periods of time to complete."

Tim Ferriss gives similar advice in his New York Times bestseller, "The
4-Hour Workweek." He stresses the Pareto principle, or the 80/20 law,
which is that 80% of outputs come from 20% of inputs. So stay focused,
and you'll do more in less time.