Diabetes with a smile–

temptation

If you feel you’re making all the right decisions — BRAVO! Good for you. If perhaps that’s not the way your day is moving along, remember — you can always start over. We are only human, so just do your best.

Hey! Maybe you’re not a sugarholic or chocoholic — count your blessings! But, if you are, you’ll relate to this post, and this time period may be rough for you. It’s interesting, I’ve found that many of my friends don’t crave sweets. Their “drug of choice” is carbs! Is their a difference? 😦 [Too many links to post.] If you’re in this category, Google carboholic. You may be in for a surprise…

For those of us who crave sweets, please — BE ON GUARD against the sales next week. All those bright, shimmering, pink and red heart-shaped containers, beautifully decorated square and rectangular boxes, that are left over and filled with shiny pieces of chocolate, will likely be 70% off! I LOVE a good sale, AND, I am a “chocolate addict,” so I know those boxes will be calling me.

Here’s this Dedicated Diabetic’s PLAN to avoid temptation — I’m simply NOT going into the stores tomorrow. I just can’t. I know my limitations. That chocolatey odor will seep from the containers and I’ll hear my name being called — “Kathy, I’m over here. Buy me — 70% OFF — how can you resist?” UGH! Torture. I seem to be most vulnerable around Halloween and Valentine’s Day, for obvious reasons. My plan is to take my “vulnerable” self as far away from those stores/displays, as is humanly possible. I have my trusty Grapefruit Oil, always at the ready, (IMPORTANT: Check with your doctor; this oil really should not be smelled directly from the bottle — could cause irritation in your nose. Instead, a drop or two on the palms of your hands, held away from your nose, is the more appropriate method. Check it out before using!). For the past week or so, I’ve been sniffing away when I even think chocolate, dessert, any tempting delight. I’ve mentioned it before — I think the odor of the grapefruit oil simply “detours your brain” away from craving the sweets.

My “HEARTfelt” (get it?) suggestion to you, my fellow Type 2 Diabetics: Make the healthy choices — for yourself.Begin TODAY, right now. Do it for YOU — the effect will trickle down to those you love. you’ll see.

The good news is the stores will be sold out in two or three days, and “Satan’s Attack” will be over. Ended. Kaput! 🙂

I’ve been on the roller coaster ride that can be DIABETES! For the last week, I’ve been plagued with cravings. It started last Tuesday when I decided to join a friend for lunch in a diner. I asked for a to-go box and immediately put half of my food in it for later or for the next day. Good start, right? 🙂

We had a great lunch. Talked and talked — solving the problems of the world. 🙂

And then it happened. The waiter approached us and asked if we’d like dessert. Almost ALWAYS I say, “no thank you.” So what caused me to cave on this day? 😦 I asked him what the selection was, but that wasn’t good enough. I had to go over to the cases wherein the delectable delights resided. As usual, they were screaming — “Kathy, pick me, pick me!” After a process of elimination, I chose a mile-high chocolate cream pie. Oh, the absurdity. I almost took a picture of the pie, when I realized that I was elevating it to deity status! Definitely going over the edge, I considered taking another dessert home for later. Ugh. I didn’t do it.

I ate every morsel of that pie and on the way home allowed remorse to seep into my being. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I was miserable. After an hour, I started to feel sick — nauseous. WHY did I do that to myself? It never fails. Each and every time I make a BAD decision, regarding food, I slip into an abyss of misery. The rest of that day was a waste. I couldn’t think of anything positive to do to reclaim my happiness. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.

Wednesday morning, I got up bright and early and walked. THIS will be a good day. The bank, the Post Office, food shopping took up my morning. I only had half an hour before yoga, so NO time for lunch. I’ll eat later; that’ll be fine. DUCK! Here it comes — driving to my yoga class, I pulled into a 7-11 and purchased a really healthy snack — not one, TWO candy bars! I downed them in the true fashion of a sugar addict — FAST!

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of Absolute Yoga in Woodbury for my class, feeling angry with myself. Really disgusted. I confessed my “downfall” to my teacher. She’s terrific, and we talked about it. I KNOW every single thing she mentioned, but was unable to put it into practice at that time. The good news is that our conversation, coupled with a great session of yoga, put me back on track.

Trust me — it hasn’t been easy. The cravings are still torturing me, but I have more strength, for now — one day at a time. My refrigerator is stocked, so that when a craving strikes, I have sugar-free Jello on hand, along with fruit and nuts. I’m ready! Also, walking in the morning is helping to start off the day on good footing.

The CURE for self-pity is gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for — I have Type 2 Diabetes; BIG DEAL! It could be a LOT worse, and I’m grateful that it’s not.

I’m DEDICATED to winning each battle and to have a good and healthy life.

On my way home today, I stopped at my local Stop and Shop. LIST in hand 🙂 I entered the store completely focused.

paper goods

tomatoes

3 small bananas

1/2 lb. roast beef

dish detergent

flowers

That’s it — I’m done.

Moving down the aisle from the deli section on my way to the check out line, two wagons blocked my way. No one was paying attention, so I took a detour to the left. It was the bakery area, but I knew I was o.k. The showcase was to my left, so I looked to the right as I passed it (Just to be on the safe side — trying to avoid temptation.)

“Miss, Miss, excuse me. Miss!” I turned to my left and a frail, elderly lady was smiling at me. She was standing, slightly hunched over, in front of the showcases filled with you know what. I’m tall, so I’m used to people asking me to get them items from the high shelves. But, there were no shelves.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, appearing to be confused.

“How can I help you?”

And then it began. A LONG story, with much pointing out of the various pastries.

“I’m having 5 people over for bridge today. So far I have this,” she said, pointing to the container of fruit in her cart. “But I can’t decide what pastries to get. Do you think two of the tarts, two of the giant chocolate cookies and maybe eight of the rainbow cookies would be enough?”

My mouth began to salivate, “I’m sorry, I really don’t know.” I started to walk away.

“Wait, please, I really need your help,” she pleaded. “Maybe I should get the mini chocolate ganache cakes too. What do you think?”

THERE’S NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD, that’s what I think!

I took a deep breath and said, “Maybe you should ask the baker, she’s the expert.” I started to scoot away. “Wait,” she called out. I turned and pointed to the woman behind the counter. “She’s right there; she’ll be able to answer your questions.”

I took off like a bat out of hell! Once on line, I checked out my items and was on my way. Before leaving, I glanced over at the bakery section. She was still there, debating with the baker. I smiled

Walking to the car, I gave myself a virtual pat on the back. I made it out — sugar free. Good for me!

IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO RAISE YOUR BLOOD SUGAR, SIMPLY BY THINKING ABOUT JUNK FOOD???

No way, right? Here’s what happened —

I started the day by eating that first important meal later in the day than is my normal routine. I ate the correct portions of the healthy foods I’d planned for breakfast. At this point, my blood sugar was perfecto!

Skipped having a snack — no need, because I got up late. (I know, I know.)

Company was coming for lunch, so I went to the store to get a few healthy items to be sure I’d stay on track. It was difficult shopping. I was getting hungry, and guess what was calling me? Yep, my favorite junk foods.

I stuck to my list, while — Kathy, one little cookie won’t hurt you was being screamed through my head. I flew past the candy aisle — detoured down another section, to avoid the pastries in the Bakery. I’m almost out. WHY can’t I get this junk out of my head????

The real test was still ahead, the dreaded line at the register. It was my turn and, as I’ve been doing lately, I faced the conveyor belt, placed my items on it, with my back to the you know what. I REFUSED to listen to the York Peppermint Patties, Hershey bars, and Reeses’ Pieces, singing in unison to get my attention. Focusing on the register and my items moving along, I jumped further up and started packing — fast, really fast. “Thank you, have a nice day,” from the cashier, and I was on my way to the car. Safe.

Thoughts of what had just happened bounced around my brain on the short drive home. Why is this still happening? I’m doing so well.

Company arrived and we enjoyed our conversation and lunch. Mine was just a sandwich and half an apple. (Normally, I cut one slice of toast horizontally so I’m still having a “real” sandwich, but only one slice of bread.) What happened? No clue. We were talking and laughing. My brain was somewhere else, and I didn’t even notice what I’d done. 2 slices consumed, a “regular” sandwich. Ugh. I determined that it would be fine — no cheese, mayo, etc., so maybe that would make up for the extra slice. No dessert for me.

Doesn’t sound like a big deal, right?

Imagine my surprise when, later, I stabbed my finger and that healthy blood seeped out onto the test strip and the numbers went UP!!! I was crazed. How could this be? Impossible. NO, NO, NO!

I grabbed that miserable glucometer and looked more closely, hoping that I’d read it wrong. I shook it, turned it over, shook it again. It MUST be broken.

Of course, at this moment, I’m vulnerable. Creeping in, ever-so-slowly, and then like a barrage of gunfire, my thoughts ran amuck! ALL I could think about were all-things covered in chocolate.

Finally, that’s it! I’m going to Dollar Tree. Candy, cookies, cakes, were in my future– and only $1/each. I don’t care. Nothing’s working, blah, blah, blah. All I did was THINK about the tempting treats, and my blood sugar went up. There’s no justice in this world, I ranted in my mind to my “crazy” self.

By the time I’d put my shoes on, bag and car keys in hand, ready to go, I had a sudden epiphany.

Are you nuts? (Yes.) Stop! You’ve worked too hard to cave now. I sat down and listened to my now sane self speaking the voice of reason. I didn’t go. But, I was concerned that it wouldn’t be long before I did.

So, week after week, I went forward with my food and exercise regimen. My blood sugar levels were great and walking was doing the trick for my body. I was happy. My doctor was happy. The world was good.

And then it happened — temptation! I worked in a school and chocolate was everywhere. Trust me, it’s in those desk drawers and cabinets. Sometimes, it’s right out on the counters and desks; right there for the taking.

Where did I go wrong? I started to “forget” my apples, my life preserver.

Little by little, hunger crept in during the day and my routine went out the window. Maybe it was someones birthday, and there was a cake. I don’t remember, and it doesn’t really matter. Temptation reared it’s ugly head, and I was captured, taken hostage maybe, back into the world of sugar. Instantly, I plunged into the depths of a pool of chocolate and began spiraling down and down. Shortly, I was back to eating candy bars in the car. Yes, I admit it, cake and cookies too! I had no shame. Then I came out into the open. At work, I’d have “just one bite” which turned into an entire piece of whatever was offered. No embarrassment.

😦

What was the point of taking my blood sugar? I knew where it was. I even stopped carrying my glucometer. I knew I was out of control, I couldn’t seem to stop. What happened to “I’m cured!” What to do…