If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought this came straight out of The Onion.

Because college football’s Power Five conferences prefer to play each other in bowl games, the smaller conferences are exploring opportunities to create additional bowl games next season, sources said.

As many as nine locations are under consideration to begin bowl games in 2014, according to sources: Miami, Orlando, Little Rock, Ark.; Boca Raton, Fla.; Montgomery, Ala.; Los Angeles; Ireland; Dubai and either Toronto or Nassau, the Bahamas.

How many folks in Dubai you figure would attend a MAC-Sun Belt matchup in mid-December? Not that ESPN wouldn’t be happy to broadcast it…

That’s a good question. Of course, I have no idea what the answer would be but thought I would drop by the ATT shop on the way into work, tell them I’ve got a Top Secret Cleared for Ridiculous clearance, want an upgrade for no cost and ask if they had any intercepts that would remotely answer the question. This is the closest they could find:

“Salam Alaikum everyone loves Raymond,

We know from the hadiths (not Harvey), that Jannah (not the porn star) has Eight (not Se7n like Brad Pitt) Gates, each of which is designated for a specific group depending on their devotion. The names of the gates, in themselves also give indication of the people that may enter them.

The question I have is, and it’s just out of curiosity; is there a detailed explanation provided regarding the gates anywhere? A broad warrantless search did not yield many results.

For instance, Ar-Rayyan (for those who fasted abundantly). Or the Saints Bounty Gate? Why these gates versus any other gates? Do each of these gates have special provisions attached to them that would make us want to excel in any particular dedication in the deen. Or would they be dirty deeds done dirt cheap like the prices at 47th Street Photo used to be or will the price to pay including tax be closer to retail? Or have I just strayed away from my deen?

Why don’t all the gates lead to the source anyway? Or are these gates performance level-based? It would be so much easier to buy them instead.

I realize this information may hold no benefit whatsoever for the purpose of our aim which should be to do deeds of Jannah. It’s just more of a curiosity thing, and I’ll be content if there is no other detail available about it. What Allah knows is incalculable in comparison to the drop of knowledge we have been given to motivate us. In the meantime, may Allah make us of those who are called from all the gates even more awesome and, live from Mecca, Admiral Ackbar, Bitches!”

To date that has to be your longest post and one of the few that does not have an attachment. ;-) The 8 gates …..hmmmm. The Eight Gates of Seoul located in the Fortress Wall of Seoul. The Eight Gates of Formation. Eight Gates of Zen, Eight Gates of Chakra. I guess it is a popular theme for some reason. Per the 77 virgins I have it on good authority that ain’t exactly how it rolls. I worked in the Ivory Coast for Lang Engineering for a year outside of Ferkessedougou. The field super that worked for me was one Momadou Maurtarin. ( not sure about the spelling) He was a Muslim. His explanation was that in Paradise (per gate value) the least person gets twice the world and everything in it. 77 virgins would be kinda short changing things wouldn’t it. There are more than 77 virgins in the world. We aren’t.\ talking about a limited number available like in……. Knoxvegas here. I was always curious bout the 77 virgin meme. If you 17 or 18 and contemplating strapping C-4 to your chest is 77 virgins what you have on your mind when you go out. For me… I am thinking of experience and ability in this matter. ;-)

The bahamas would be nice. I always thought that if you weren’t playing in the national championship game, the best option was a bowl game in Hawaii. Of course, I don’t worry about athletic department travel budgets. Just seems like a better place to spend a week than New Orleans, Phoenix, Miami or any of the non-BSC venues.

Bloviation for the Dawgnation

Quote Of The Day

“It's definitely different not knowing exactly who it's gonna be, but in a way, I feel like that's good,” he said. “One of my old coaches from Valdosta told me that competition is one of the best coaches. And I feel like, as well as each one of those three guys is performing, they're not gonna do anything but make each other better.” -- Jay Rome, The Red & Black, 3/25/15