RESIGN IMMEDIATELY

David Brooks: it is past time for you to end your reign of inanity. The American people have had more than enough of your sanctimonious hectoring and purblind condescension.

The truth, if you want to face it, is this: for every indifferently positive response you get from your editor (if you even have an editor) and every grateful reply you receive from a fifty-year-old Connecticut accountant, there are literally tens of thousands of irate readers across the country cursing your pomposity and your ignorance, wishing you would go away once and for all, and praying we survive long enough to live in a world where we are not confronted twice a week by your newest piece of offensive, haphazardly argued doggerel. We are those readers, and we will no longer go unheard.

It is not enough for us simply not to read your columns, for that would be turning a blind eye. No, we cannot rest while such an evil as your drivel persists in the world. We hereby charge you to fulfill your obligation as a servant of the public by stepping down immediately from your position as a columnist for the New York Times.

We hope you see the popular support for this petition as an indication that the most moral, most integrity-driven decision currently available to you is to cease writing columns once and for all.