"The mark of an immature man is that he would die knobly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he would live humbly for one" - Catcher in the Rye
-WARNING WRITER SPELLING CHALLENGED! But Sometimes you have to say "what the fuck!"

Sunday, September 21, 2008

One more anal-probing-gyro-pyro-levitating-ectoplasym alien antimatter story and I'm going to take out my gun and shoot somebody - Ode to Fox Mulder

Repost from 9/21/04

Paramasturbatory?Stories of alien abductions, freaky paranormal shizat, and government conspiracies always captivate and intrigue me. From Caral Sagan’s Cosmos, to Twin Peaks and In Search Of, I live for bizarre and unexplained phenomenon. X-files captured my attention more than any other show, and through this show I fell in love. My dream man is Agent Fox Mulder. Not the wuss he became at the end of the series X-files, but the lovable oddball from the earlier episodes. Mulder was this eloquent and handsome, porn loving FBI agent who never slept, didn’t even have a bed, and kept a closet full of X-rated films. He looked extremely hot in black suits, was often seen shirtless, watched adult film, and only ever had sex with a vampire (I was so jealous). It was great catching glimpses of him chatting on adult phone lines, or walking out of Triple-X theaters. He was a quirky, educated, gorgeous freak who also had a fetish for aliens and the paranormal. Like me, he was a philosophical dreamer and a believer. Mulder further really knew how to handle his weapon. He turned me on and rocked my world!

Sometimes the only sane answer to an insane world is insanity. –Fox Mulder

Domestication of the FreakThe slow evolution of Mulder’s character from the quirky and freaky badass to this effeminate life mate for Scully totally ruined things. Pent up sexual tension between characters creates great charisma, but when they put the two together in some stoopid attempt at domestic bliss, it always sucks. Mulder and Scully should never have become a couple, that is when things “jumped the shark” so to speak. Plus, didn’t agent Mulder know I was waiting for him? Being a true blue X-files fan, I ALWAYS watched the show. No one was allowed to call me, talk to me, or bother me at all during that 9 to 10 Sunday night time block. The show rocked, down to the last episode. Things just never were the same without my love Mulder, and then with his wussy and domesticated return.

I love this Duchovny photo. That man is sooooooooooo HOT! (and rumored to be very well hung too)

X-files WidowLife will never be the same for me on Sunday nights. X-files was my life for so many years. I still collect X-files action figures and memorabilia; I guess you could say I obsess on the show. For now I remain an X-files widow, forever looking to the skies for my Mulder to come down and abduct me from this life.

In the final episode it is revealed that on December 22, 2012, aliens will invade and take over the world. In reality, December 23, 2012 is the day the ancient Mayan calendar will end.

Some of my FAVORITE Mulder quotes:

"Yes, and also I've always been intrigued by women named B.J." -Aubrey

"You know, sometimes, it just gets really hard to smile through it when they ask you to bend down and grab your ankles." The Host

"Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MD's do it" -Small Potatoes

"I didn't check into a hotel room. I don't sleep anymore."-3

"Well, aside from the need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be abducted by extra-terrestrials involved in an international conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster."Home

Byers : "Vladimir Zhirinovsky, the leader of the Russian Social Democrats, is being put into power by the most heinous force in the twetieth century."Mulder : Barney?"

Scully : "Oh God, Mulder, it smells like...I think its bile."Mulder : "How can I get it off my fingers without betraying my cool exterior?"

"Suggestion is a powerful force. The science of hypnosis is predicated on it, as are most TV commercials. I mean, they're designed to plant thoughts in your head." -Pusher

"Hey, Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?"Schizogeny

"I don't know if you can see it from here, but it has no sex organs."The Host

X-files cool trial shit that I LOVE!

The line that appears at the end of the opening sequence reads The Truth Is Out There in most episodes. However in a few episodes this line was changed as follows: *Episode 01x23 (The Erlenmeyer Flask): Trust No One *Episode 02x06 (Ascension): Deny Everything *Episode 03x25 (Anasazi): Éí 'Aaníígóó 'Áhoot'é *Episode 03x10 (731): Apology Is Policy *Episode 04x01 (Herrenvolk): Everything Dies *Episode 04x04 (Teliko): Deceive, Inveigle, Obfuscate *Episode 04x10 (Terma): E Pur Si Muove *Episode 04x24 (Gethsemane): Believe The Lie *Episode 05x02 (Redux): All Lies Lead To The Truth *Episode 05x14 (The Red and the Black): Resist Or Serve *Episode 05x20 (The End): The End *Episode 06x03 (Triangle): Die Wahrheit Ist Irgendwo Da Draussen (German, which translates as "The truth is out there somewhere") *Episode 06x19 (The Unnatural): In The Big Inning *Episode 07x02 (Amor Fati): Amor Fati