The carry-on of Sheena Lee C, shared for your entertainment.

Caitlyn Jenner: view from the couch

With those three words Bruce Jenner as we knew him completed his gender transition and introduced the world to Caitlyn Jenner and I commenced a lot of thinking about what had just happened.

Like, it’s actually, really, happened: he is now a she and while it sounds like a ‘k’ name, it’s actually the misspelt (in my humbly-spelt opinion) version of Caitlin.

Caitlyn Jenner told Vanity Fair, “I’m so happy after such a long struggle to be living my true self.”

I have nothing but respect for Jenner’s bravery and candour and believe her evolution shall provide an important platform for the transgender community.

As an avid watcher of Keeping up with the Kardashians, I am also incredulous at what has unfolded.

Still. Completely incredulous.

I have an investment in that extended family, a couch-side investment, which extends onto Facebook Messenger and into an avid analysis between myself and two fit and flexible Melbourne-based, Dear Friends.

I consider myself intuitive when it comes to the Kardashian and Jenner clans. I feel like I get Kris. I really do. And I bloody love her hair. I have an all-too-ready opinion on Kylie and her lack of personality. I believe in the good of Kim and Kendall, in the growth of Khloe from the young adult we first met, and I don’t buy the disruptive, on-screen relationship of Kourtney and Scott. I don’t have the time of day for Rob right now. And I thought I knew Bruce. But she blindsided me. Caitlyn blindsided me.

Therefore, when the story started to leak and I pondered the reality of it, from the Mint Street couch seat, I realised my interest had been completed piqued, and I have a few questions which require answering.

Here goes:

You kept a big secret from family and friends, or at least that is what you told us in your TV specials. How long did they actually, like really, actually, know? How long was that?

To reiterate and harp on this for a tic, Kris mentioned you suppressing a part of yourself, Scott Disick said it was clear you were hiding something, Brandon Jenner said he guessed what was happening due to your evolving look, Kim and Kendall mentioned seeing you cross-dressed. For how long, Caitlyn, and how did you explain yourself at these various points?

What was the real story behind the relationship of Kris and Bruce and when did it really slide?

How difficult has it been navigating the path forward as Caitlyn with not just Kris, but your children too?

Do you still play golf and fly aeroplanes? How have your golf buddies taken the news? How was that for you?

Will the story of your womanhood evolve further, from makeup, heels and hair, into a deeper reflection upon what it means to be a woman and to fully live and express this side of you?

What about the crew, did they guess? And God, please, let one of them breach their confidentiality contract.

How do you intend to balance your role as ‘dad’, with that which Caitlyn will play in your kids’ lives? What will they call you?

Do you think Kris was being selfish? Because I don’t. I think it’s natural to reflect upon yourself when there is a huge change to a relationship with someone you were intimate with.

How did you manage to control the story for so long? And were you pissed with your ma for her loose media-talking lips?

I hope the show explores these garden paths, because the view from the couch would be pretty damn gripping.

Congratulations. And good luck. I’ll be cheering from the couch-lines.