How to Live with Your Parents—Again

Because moving back in happens to the best of us.

Whether it's just for the summer or you're staring down the barrel of a lengthy post-graduation stay, moving back in with your family is something a lot of us do. According to a 2013 study, 36 percent of Millennials (that's 21.6 million people!) live at home. Even though the numbers should dispel any stigma associated with crashing at mom and dad's, is it the ideal situation? Probably not.

But hey, sometimes a girl needs a little time to make money and figure out what's ahead—and doing it rent-free has its perks. That said, it can definitely be a transition! Even the little things—like getting out of the mindset that a few spoonfuls of peanut butter, some Trader Joe's ice cream bonbons, and Diet Coke is a reasonable meal, or having a concerned dad text you when it's an hour after you said you'd be home—can make for a big adjustment.

You're not a kid anymore, but you're back living with the people who knew you as one, so how do you navigate this new frontier? Below, your survival guide.

Define the living situation.

"There was a bit of a breaking-in period when I first got back," says Katelin Walker, who lived with her parents after college. "The main issue I dealt with was being thrown back into the role of teenage daughter. We bickered a lot before we all figured out that even though I was back under their roof, I was still a capable adult. It was all about boundaries and figuring out just what we owed each other."

Getting the expectations laid out early on will help you avoid conflict later. Do you have a curfew? What will your housekeeping responsibilities be? How are you going to contribute? As Maxine Hamilton, whose parents took her in while she was working on a touring theater production, explains: "Basically, treat your parents like roommates—don't expect them to baby you anymore."

"It really is all about those boundaries," adds Jenna Hankins, who lived with her folks for a year while doing a full-time marketing internship at Disney. "And keeping your own independence and identity by doing things like paying for your own stuff and cooking your own meals sometimes."

Communicate. A lot.

As much as your mom and dad want to be your chill housemates (they really do!), they're probably still a little protective of their daughter and will totally appreciate you keeping them in the loop if your plans change or if you're staying at a friend's for the night.

"It took a while for my parents to get used to the fact that I wasn't a high schooler with a curfew anymore, and I had to learn that even though I wasn't a kid, I had to give my parents the courtesy of knowing if I was coming home at night," says Katelin. "The compromise that worked for us was that they didn't pester me about where I was or how late I was going to be so long as I let them know whether or not they should expect me back at the house."

Really, a text can do wonders. Instead of your anxious mom waking up your dad in the middle of the night to suggest they call the police because your car isn't in the driveway, she can just check her phone and know all is well.

Enjoy your parents!

As you get older, parents suddenly become people—and chances are, they're probably pretty cool (after all, they're related to you!). When's the next time you're going to be able to spend this much time with them? Probably never. So embrace it.

"You transition from your parents being your parents to your parents being your friends," says Ashley Ringgenberg, who's crashing at home until her elementary school teaching job starts in August. "Living with them made it a lot easier for me to look at my parents as my grown-up friends. We love hanging out and spend time together."

Although you don't have to spend every minute with them (nor do they expect you to), your new "grown-up" status means you can relate to them in a totally different way. Go with mom to lunch at the neighborhood cafe that just opened up or spend a night watching Star Wars with dad, and you might finally get to hear some of their wild tales from when they were your age (trust us, they exist).

Get a (social) life.

Parent-friends aside, it kind of sucks watching all your college pals go to different exciting cities while you move home, and that's why you should think locally. As little as you may feel you have in common with high school friends who moved back too, reconnecting with them can be a ton of fun, and so can meeting new people.

"I think the biggest thing for me is picking up hobbies with people my own age and making an effort to spend time with friends as much as I can," says Jenna Lee, who moved home last May when her entry-level job and her parents' place happened to be in the same city. "Living at home you don't have much social interaction with people your own age, which can make it tough."

Other ways to meet new people in your 'hood, particularly if you don't have a job yet? Play sports (Jenna does tennis and is training with a half-marathon group), volunteer, or work part-time at a restaurant or boutique—chances are, if you really like a certain place, you'll like the people who work there too. (Plus, it gets you out of the house!)

Have a plan—and take advantage of this time.

Even if you can't pin down an exact departure date from your family's home, setting goals along the way will help ease any lingering tensions and let you really appreciate your time. And while you wait it out, you should learn some stuff, OK?

Your parents will be thrilled if you ask them to teach you how to change your car's oil, balance a household budget, or roast a chicken. These are things that are good to know later on, and what better time to learn? (Answer: Not when your car actually breaks down, or when you find yourself struggling for cash when you do move into your first apartment.)

And lastly, remember to be gracious! You're saving a ton in rent, utilities, and grocery money because of your parents. Ashley says thanks by helping out around the house, while Maxine brings home takeout on occasion. Lovely little gestures will help show your appreciation—and absolutely make your parents' day.