KAT 9 NEWS SPECIAL REPORT

Greetings Humans, Fleabags and Fuzzballs! This is Shrimp bringing you a special report from KAT 9 NEWS.

🔹Disturbing new kat haircuts irritating felines everywhere

It seems that some of your well-meaning humans are taking grooming just a little too far…

As in our first example, “The Rainbow Kitty.”

We attempted to interview “rainbow kitty,” but since none of our reporters could catch her, we enlisted a K9 officer to help us locate her. Sadly, he is recovering in ICU at the animal hospital.

Example # 2We did our best to also locate “Leo the Lion,” but in spite of countless bags of treats, no one was able to coax him out from under the bed- (But rumor has it that he wasn’t thrilled with his new do).

This is a crime against our species that we must not tolerate! Frickin’ Neanderthal humans who think this is funny must have parents from the same litter. If I were one of these traumatized kitties I would wait until the human responsible for authorizing this kind of mutilation of our regal feline fur was asleep, approach quietly with newly sharpened claws, and proceed to ‘gift’ them a badass ‘tattoo’ across their face for all to view and enjoy. See then how THEY feel sporting across their forehead a new tattoo that reads ‘DIRTY LITTER SNIFFER’, along with a large crap artistically carved on to one cheek and a kitty butthole on the other. I wonder if they will come out from under the bed or go out anymore?! Maybe if they are subjected to a similar humiliation permanently on them the rest of their life, they will think twice before embarrassing a fellow feline! MEWHAHAHA!