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30 October, 2013

This is ME

“You can't stop the futureYou can't rewind the pastThe only way to learn the secret...is to press play.”― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

Time never stops for anyone. Everyday we learn new things, discover more, start liking something new or get bored of something that we liked previously. We change and evolve constantly. And that is how we should be. Of late, I have changed a lot- like A LOT. If you have been following my blog regularly, you might find things that I am going to write in this blog post, contradicting the ones that I have previously written or if you are really with me in my journey, you might see where I am coming from. Maybe I am simply getting old. But anyhoo...

So what are the things I like or not like? What kind of people impress me or do not impress me?

1. Something that has started bothering me is fake people, fake smiles, fake friendships, fake bags, etc etc. You get the gist? With advent of facebook also came advent of cameras, mobile cameras and photos. I have nothing against photos. In fact, I love them. But earlier pictures were clicked to save the beautiful memories. But of late, the agenda of clicking pictures has changed. It is to show to the world- How happy you are, how popular you are, how famous you are. You stand with 20 other people posing for a picture, but you stand all alone. You are not with those 20. You are posing for those other people, who you think, will be looking at that picture. Your hand is on the shoulder of that 1 person standing next to you but in real, you are just posing for the 10 others that might see you on facebook. Give comments and likes. I so wish, that like blog, facebook also gave an option of disabling comments and likes. I would be the first one to use that option. Are you listening facebook guys?

2. Another thing that bothers me is endless series of jokes on whatsapp groups. 1 person posts a joke. 10 others make smiley face, or a clap or a thumbs up. Of course, I have switched off all the notifications. But still....The group chat starts with good morning from one and good night from the other. And I just keep wondering, don't they have anything constructive, to do in life? I mean, please do not get me wrong. I am not pointing at anyone in particular. But I am just thinking out aloud. Because for me, personally, a day of 24 hours is not enough. Then where and how do people have time for ideal chat and gossip? And if they do, good for them. I have nothing against anyone. It is just that I do not have that kind of time, energy or inclination.

3. I absolutely believe in the phrase, "A friend in need is a friend indeed". If you think and call someone a friend, you got to stand with and by that person through thick and thin, in spring and in rain. You cannot be a friend just in leisure time to party and to rejoice. When that friend needs you, you need to be there unconditionally. Then you are a true friend. Else you are an acquaintance, or a party buddy. An example- My dad is diabetic. My mom takes pretty good care of him and his diet. To make sure that he does not feel the urge to eat sweets, she has sacrificed her cravings for sweets. She will not eat those those things, even bring those things at home, seeing which, he craves or binges. That is real and true partnership. There is a famous Bollywood movie, Border. There is a very nice scene in it. It is about the army officers, posted on a border, engaged in war between two countries. One of the army officer has some emergency at home and has applied for a leave. His leave gets sanctioned and he starts rejoicing. That is when, his senior shouts at him that if he has to go home, he can but he cannot make the other officers feel bad that he is rejoicing and they are stuck in a situation. Every now and then, one person may get stuck in some kind of a situation. While life does not stop for anyone, and everyone has the right to lead their life, a true friend/partner will not start rejoicing (in your face), while the other is stuck in a situation. That is being inconsiderate and unsympathetic. You get the quintessence where I am coming from? A true friend, partner, buddy, family, will be there for you in thick and thin. While others will be there for you only to party together. So demarcate and know your true friends. You are lucky if you have one. Cherish them.

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

4. Something that I never learnt, or never will or do not want to, is to be fake. I am what I am. Take it or leave it. I do not know how to mince words, stab behind, take nonsense, not speak my mind, be unprofessional, not follow my heart and my passions.

There are things and people in my life that keep me going. Those are my life and my breath. They give me reason to smile, to live, to be happy. The simplest things give me joy. The fake ones put me off.

5. We Indians do not know how to take no for an answer or "just to be frank". We just "mind" because we have no mind.

Example: Someone, I know, asked me for a ride (it was to be on everyday basis) to and fro from work. While I am very much in favor of car pools, and think about the environment etc, I have a genuine problem. All my business calls, personal calls, etc are made while I drive. I do not have any other time during the day. Yes, I know that It is not right to use mobile while driving but I talk through my bluetooth. Hence it is perfectly safe. But of course, the voice echos in the car and can be heard by the person sitting with me. So I politely explained this person, my genuine situation. Needless to say, this person did mind.

Likewise, when I was genuinely super duper busy with something and needed all my focus and attention in a project, I told a friend that I will not be able to talk and would call later. What happened? This person did mind.

In such situations, all I do, is stop using my mind and focus my left over mind and brain on the things that keep me going. If those were not there in my life, I would probably go mad.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”― Lao Tzu

6. I dislike (read: hate), when people try to dictate their terms on my blog. Imagine the audacity of people, who expect to be written on my blog. This blog is my personal space and I am super protective about it. I write about what I please. I follow my heart. Which is the reason, this blog flows freely. It writes about life, dance, fashion, everything that interests me and is me. But if someone demands, I become overly possessive.

7. Till last year, I enjoyed all the frivolous Diwali parties, card parties, various events etc. This year I have steered clear of all. I have politely declined all those invites. Not for any other reason but because my work keeps me occupied and is so fulfilling.

Till last year, I was running a Marathon. This year onwards, I have taken a retirement from running. If I need to dance longer, I need to protect my knees and my spine.

Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”― Eckhart Tolle

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.”― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym