people under the age of 50 who are not drunk, high, or immune to diabetes, who aren't particularly trying to eat healthily but don't want their cereal to turn into dessert or be covered in chocolate milk, who have shopped this year but aren't on food stamps, who aren't champions, don't chew on gravel but who do love the classics and care about the rooves of their mouths. And who aren't Chuck Norris, Marty McFly, or in Australia. Or in October.