The Woman Whose Boyfriend And Lover Helped Deliver Her Baby In A Birthing Pool

07/12/2011 11:51
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Updated
22 May 2015

Keith Kendrick
Parentdish UK

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For most mothers giving birth, having a supportive partner by their side is enough.

But Jaiya Ma had both her baby's father AND her boyfriend in the birthing pool with her to help deliver her baby Eamon.

And now all three of them raise the boy together.

Jaiya, 34, had decided a long time ago that an uncomplicated life was not for her – and her boyfriend, Jon Hanauer, 49, knew it.

So six years into their relationship, he urged Jaiya to take a new lover and within weeks, she had fallen for furniture designer Ian Ferguson, 44, at a dance class.

A year later, she was expecting his child. But Jon supported Jaiya throughout, welcomed Ian into their home in Topanga, California, and together the men helped to deliver Eamon during an "orgasmic" labour.

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"I am so lucky,' said Jaiya, a sexologist. "I have two amazing men who really care for me and Eamon. Having three parents around just makes life even better, and everyone talks about how advanced Eamon is."

Jaiya and Jon met in June 2000, while – surprise, surprise - taking tantric yoga classes. At the time, Jaiya was engaged to another man, but he couldn't cope with sharing his fiancee, despite discussing having an open relationship.

Six months later, Jaiya and Jon began living and working together, helping couples who had trouble in their sex lives and writing a book, Red Hot Touch, about the importance of touching your partner to keep a relationship alive.

However, Jaiya soon became restless and Jon suggested she "should find another guy to be with". Soon afterwards, she met Ian at an "ecstatic dance class".

"I was surprised to learn he was polyamorous,' Jaiya told the Daily Mail. "We seemed to meet each other at exactly the right time."

Jaiya and Ian began a sexual relationship, and a year later, while they were still discussing trying for a baby, Jaiya fell pregnant.

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"I had previously discussed having children with Jon, but he felt he wasn't ready to have a baby," said Jaiya.

Jon added: "I asked her if she was sure about having the baby and she said she was. Once I knew it was what she really wanted I was okay with it too."

"It was hard, and I asked myself: 'How can I just let this happen?' But Jaiya immediately started suffering severe morning sickness, and so all I could do was look after her."

The three adults took classes to prepare for a home labour.

"We were cleansed of any ill feeling so we could welcome the new baby into the world," said Jon.

On the day of Eamon's birth on March 23 2009, Jaiya, Ian and Jon were all in the birthing pool.

"It was an amazing experience," said Jaiya.

"Ian was holding me while Eamon was born and Jon and the doula were at the side of the tub.

"When he came out Jon cut the cord. All three of us were crying."

The birth brought Jaiya, Jon and Ian closer and they decided to live together as a family.

But the birth also caused problems for Jaiya as she suffered a bad tear and needed special massage to remove her scar tissue.