Thursday, May 28, 2009

Today is Monica Gellar’s last day. Let me reflect on the things I will not miss:

1. The fact that she feels the need to lock her desk drawers, even while she’s sitting at her desk. God forbid someone try to steal her ink stamps (which she doesn’t use) or her files of everyone’s approved time off for the last two years. They'd wait until she's so furiously typing that she'd never notice someone opening the giant, clanging metal drawer to pilfer her goods.

2. Watching her stroll in nonchalantly every day around 8:40 with her roll-y bag. A bag which is larger than the one my father, the engineer, carries to work each day. Really, sister - your job is NOT that important.

3. Seeing her walk down the hall, swinging her arms from the elbows; it’s like watching her doing an elaborate march all day.

4. Her child-like haircut which lies flat on her too-small head, making it look even smaller.

5. The long, dangly necklace she wears at least twice every week, if not three or four times. With outfits that could have done without it.

6. Walking by to see her poring over the minutes she wrote with a highlighter, red pen, and blue pen. She could easily spend three hours meticulously correcting minutes which no one will EVER read.

7. Listening to her 80 excuses as to why every time her husband sniffles she has to stay home with him/go to the dentist with him/take him to the eye doctor/put a bandaid on his boo-boo.

Things I will miss about Monica Gellar:

1. She’s the closest to the entrance to our area, meaning anyone coming from that direction stops at her desk first to ask questions. Saves me a lot of breath.

2. The fact that she liked to track our budget, a duty which has fallen to me and I fear I will totally fail at. I’m not a numbers person.

3. All the blog posts she inspired by being so incredibly OCD. There are so many more good times that could have been had…