Category Archives: Children & Divorce

{3:30 minutes to read} One of the most challenging issues for parents who have college-age children is how to handle the costs of their college education. This is a subject that has become more complicated in recent years as the cost of a college education continues to rise significantly. Estimated costs for yearly tuition and room and board for a state-run school are $20,000. Those same costs at a private college are typically anywhere from $45,000 to $80,000 or more.

{3:12 minutes to read} There are two basic concepts that describe the way in which parents raise their children following a divorce. These approaches are significantly different, and in fact, are at opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. One approach is referred to as Cooperative Parenting and the other as Parallel Parenting.

{3:06 minutes to read} For couples who have children and are divorcing, there’s no more important subject to discuss than their parenting arrangements post-divorce. As we are working in mediation, my couples sometimes ask if there is a best parenting plan that they should adopt and follow. The short answer to that question is no.…

{3:00 minutes to read} The discussions I lead my couples through in mediation need to be structured, but they also need to be open to “fluid thinking.” By that, I mean the type of thinking that allows for the continued interplay between the various decisions that must be made.

{1:42 minutes to read} “Never cut what you can untie.” Joseph Joubert, French essayist This aphorism came to my attention recently when one of my colleagues was giving a presentation at our annual conference for the NYS Council on Divorce Mediation. I was immediately struck by the wisdom contained in its 6 simple words.

{4:06 minutes to read} There are many reasons for couples to choose to mediate their divorce as opposed to proceeding with a contested/litigated process. Below I discuss the top 9 reasons why divorce mediation is typically the best choice:

{4:18 minutes to read} In my last blog, I discussed the governmental benefits that are available to a child or young adult with special needs. When I meet with my couples in divorce mediation, I need to first make sure they understand the public benefits their child is entitled to and then also discuss how these benefits relate to the many expenses (some covered by governmental benefits, some not) that arise when parents are raising a special needs child.

{2:48 minutes to read} In my next blog I will be discussing the various financial issues that affect the parents of a special needs child who are divorcing. Before doing that, however, I first need to describe the basic framework of governmental services and benefits that are provided to children and young adults with disabilities.

{3:32 minutes to read} When I’m mediating with parents who have a special needs child, I view myself as being on a “fact finding mission.” What do I mean by that? In addition to performing my other mediator responsibilities, my role is to gather as much information as I can about the couple’s special needs child, and how that child’s disability relates to each of the parents’ lives, as well as to any other siblings in the family. Clearly, these family relationships are often more complex than families without a special needs child.

{3:06 minutes to read} When couples with normal-developing kids are separating or divorcing, we can spend quite a bit of time during mediation discussing their parenting arrangements. Among the many subjects that need to be addressed are: what the weekday and weekend parenting schedule will look like; how scheduling for holidays and summer vacations will be handled; and in what ways the scheduling may need to reflect the specific work circumstances of the parents.

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N. F.Plainview, NY

For a long time my sisters and I couldn’t agree about our mother’s care. Thank goodness a friend referred us to Susan. Within two sessions, we were able to agree on mom’s moving into an assisted living facility. Since then, we’ve gone back one more time when a second difficult situation arose. We feel confident that mom’s being cared for in the right place, and our family relationship has greatly improved.

L. S.Riverdale, NY

Thanks, Susan. You hosted an awesome session today at the ADFP [Association of Divorce Financial Planners] on special needs kids and divorce. It made me realize how many intricacies there are with special needs children and one really has to become an expert or refer to one if a client faces such a situation.

I came to Susan at a real crossroads in my life and career. In a short time she helped me connect and truly understand my core values. Susan’s coaching style is thoughtful, friendly, warm—which makes each session better than the last. Nevertheless, she is no softy! She challenged me to look deeper and work hard. I would recommend her to anyone seeking to better understand their life goals and develop positive motivation in their lives.

J. B.Boston, MA

Hi Susan. I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you again for your knowledge, guidance and patience during my mediation process. I’m in a very good & happy place now and I know that you are a large part of what got me to where I am.

L. H.New York, NY

During our divorce mediation Susan expertly guided us through a minefield of issues. Initially, my ex and I couldn’t agree on anything. But as we worked our way through the mediation process we calmed down with each other. For the first time, we really understood what needed to happen for us to get on with our lives. Susan brought both strength and compassion in guiding us through this process.

A. G.New York, NY

Susan brought tremendous skill and understanding to our divorce mediation. My ex and I have two young children, and we were most concerned about their being okay after the divorce. She helped us figure out what was best for our kids and each of us as well. We couldn’t have reached as good a result without her expert help!

C. W.Brooklyn, NY

Susan. I think any family who hires you for mediation has a gift! Right now the only thing I can add is that it seems to me this service should be given more exposure and public attention, as it can be enormously helpful in many ways.