Sunday, March 28, 2010

Once, a college girl was in love. Or lust. Or something, but she certainly knew that this boy, this boy who sat in front of her in Fiction 101, this boy with the black hair and the clear blue eyes? This boy was going to change her life.

That is, if he'd ever notice her.

She always sat behind him, but at an angle, so she could study his broad shoulders, his lush eyelashes, the tiny clench of the jaw when he concentrated. She peered out from beneath her behemoth 80's bangs, stealing glimpses, feeling fizzy and full and hollow all at the same time.

She wore her best Guess? jeans to lectures, did the required reading twice before class so so she'd sound intelligent if called upon. She nearly lip-glossed herself to death.

And then one day, one amazingly fine day, he noticed her. Not only did he notice her, he asked her to a party. A Fraternity party. The kind of party she never got asked to.

The Fraternity house smelled like sweat and Budweiser and stale marijuana, and what passed for a bathroom in that place was criminal.

But the boy didn't get too drunk and he made decent conversation and he said he liked her blue sweater. He didn't seem to notice the slight tremor of her hand as she held her beer cup or that she struggled for words.

He walked her back to her dorm at the end of the night, and just when she was sure he'd never kiss her, he leaned in slowly...

And nearly ate her tongue.

If the boy ever found himself unemployed, she thought, he could hire out that tongue as a Roto-Rooter. She almost choked on that enthusiastic, crack-the-whip monstrosity.

And BAM! The dream was over. So much promise...

That's kind of how I felt when I made this Crab and Avocado Duet from Ellie Krieger's cookbook So Easy.

The ingredients were good lookin'. The presentation was innovative. The finished dish, I was sure, was going to have that wow factor. But in the end? Disappointing.

It really didn't have much flavor, to be honest. And I used good crabmeat, Scout's Honor! I was flummoxed. What's not to like about crab and avocado?

In the end, I separated the crabmeat from the avocado, added some capers and a squeeze of mayonnaise, a dab more dijon, a few cracks of salt and pepper, and put the avocado, the "doctored-up" crab mixture and a few slices of tomato on a soft roll. Then I sweetened the deal with a few strips of crisp bacon. Crab club sandwich! A big improvement, I thought, and hubs had to agree. We happily munched Plan B. and decided that there's more to life than good lookin'.

Pit and peel the avocado and cut it into 1/2-inch chunks. In a small bowl, toss the avocado chunks gently with 1 tablespoon of the lemon juice and season with salt to taste.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the remaining 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, the Dijon mustard, pepper and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Add the crabmeat and toss.

For a decorative presentation, stand an empty 15-ounce can (with both the top and bottom removed) on a serving plate. Scoop a quarter of the avocado into the can, being careful to avoid any sharp edge on the rim. Place a quarter of the crabmeat on top and press down gently into the can. Gently pull the can off the avocado and crab mixture. Garnish with chopped chives or parsley.

I had to read this even though I was supposed to be getting off the computer, because crab and avocado is just too good to pass up. Sounds like a delicious sandwich. I'll have to tell my husband to make it!

I never had a kiss like that, thank you God. And I thought your story was going to be unrequited love....like mine. A basketball player. A hunk. Perfect in every way. And he never gave me a second glance. Not once. The big ass.

Oh well, you've doctored up Ellie's crab and avocado salad so it sounds like a great sandwich! Of course anything with bacon can't be bland.

You said it, more to life than looking good. I find both crab (which I love) and avocado (not so hot on) to have very delicate flavours. I try not to bury the flavour of crab too much, and I tend to eat it simply - on crackers or something! Avocado, I must admit to avoiding unless someone serves it when I'm a guest. This happened when we visited Bill's sister in Sydney. Their neighbours have an avocado farm somewhere, so we got lots. I just reminded myself it's good for you and added salt and lemon juice. It was almost OK then.

I must of been really boring while growing up. Nothing stands out in mine like yours does! Or maybe it's your talent, and what you learned in that class to be able to pull things out and write so captivatingly...

ok...well good for you. I always end up adding what I like after a fail too.

I'm laughing out loud. It is funny how something can look so beautiful and then turn out to be a total turnoff once you get close. I can think of several experiences where once he opened his mouth I was out of there! Sounds like you created a far better recipe than the original!

I can see how the initial recipe was lacking--there is so little seasoning--but I applaud your edits. The bacon makes it less "healthy," but if it's between that and wasting the dinner at a loss, I think you did quite well for yourself.

Haha you are hilarious lady. I know the disappointment well. Good looking people who are rubbish at kissing and the other sexy stuff should have some kind of warning tattooed about their person so that the people can prepare themselves and make an informed decision.

Ewwww! I hate icky kissers! Back in the early 90's a very good friend of mine wanted it to be more but he was the most slobbery kisser ever! I just couldn't take, it was like he was trying to wash my face! Ack!