Mr The Home That Made Me – #WhereIsMrTHTMM

“The greatest blog post writer of a generation”, a “devilishly handsome linguistic artist” & “most likely hung like a giraffe”. These are just some of the phrases used about Mr The Home That Made Me in the year since his last blog post. When there was no follow up to ‘A Mans Home is his Castle‘ there was uproar, thousands of teary eyed fans took to Instagram to not only share their grief with like-minded followers but to become involved in the trend #whereismrthtmm that swept the nation. Some believed that he had enough of living in the public eye and gone into hiding with Biggie & Tupac, some assumed he had been buried alive in a mountain of scatter cushions and pom pom throws and others that he had gone to stand by the bin while Charlotte took an Instagram picture and was still there waiting for permission to move.

All we really know is that last week it was revealed within an Instagram story by Mrs THTMM that the blog posts would be returning! Squeals of delight made partners come rushing into the room to see what had happened all over the world and share prices in Ann Summers went through the roof as women (& some men) prepared themselves for a quiet night in with a glass of wine and Mr THTMM’s blogging resurgence.

Will he bring the same witty remarks, border-line sexual innuendos & laid bare approach to his writing? Will he monopolise the internet again? Will we finally find out how he really puts up with Charlotte? All of these questions may be answered in the monthly series. His previous posts are linked at the bottom of this post so all readers new and old can relive the beauty of an artist excelling in his craft.

So in this world exclusive….an event that arguably rivals the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the return of the Mack & Liverpool’s comeback in the 2005 Champions League Final; please be upstanding for MR THE HOME THAT MADE ME!!! (applause)

Hi everyone, me again….I honestly thought Charlotte would not want me to start posting again considering how much love my previous posts got, she was definitely a bit jealous of my global success. I will be doing bits all over this blog once a month & look forward to posting whatever weird and wonderful thoughts come into my head about certain topics. If there’s anything you think would be good then send them in too & I will add them to the list.

What made me come back? I hear you ask.

Why did you leave us? You say.

Unfortunately I will never have time to return the thousands of messages of support or read over all of the desperate pleas & marriage proposals I have received but hopefully I can satiate my supporters through my re-emergence.

Is it my love of writing that is the reason for my return? Maybe my desire to bring joy to the world? Or could it be as simple as the promise of a blow job for every blog post published?