Monday, September 5, 2011

Charles Dickens - Great Expectations III

"This book definitely seems to be one of those all-American books about America in the 19th century that would be seen in a lot of American Literature classes."

"I started reading this over a month ago and I'm still not finished. I can't get into it at all! It's like a really boring nightmare! I mean, the parts that take place at Satis House are mildly interesting, but no part of it seems to be building up to anything. The story moves so slowly that at times you'd swear it wasn't moving at all, and, to be sure, at times, it isn't! It's just sitting there in its stupid rocking chair knitting and petting its cat by the fire, which isn't even burning! OMG!
You want to read something fast paced and interesting?
Try Daniel White's Hellstone, available right here at amazon.com (plug). Now that's a good book. White's influences span the ages, and don't skip Victorian, if that's what you're into, which you obviously are, or why would you be here?
Don't get me wrong. I like Victorian literature. A Christmas Carol is a very good story, as is Dracula, and Frankenstein, and most of Poe's works. It's just this particular book that I don't like...and anything by Jane Austen.
In conclusion, buy Hellstone. You'll be happy you did."

"The fact that Pip found his Great Expectations and then only becomes a snob afterwards upset me. Where's the morals to that."

"I can tell the reader of this review that I am not a Charles Dicken's fan..I truly believe that he is a pig of a man and was mandated to read this book for a college lit class. Otherwise, I find his work to be over-rated in importance."

"This book was literally the worst thing thats happened in my whole entire life.
...
THIS BOOK WAS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!
The only GOOD thing about this book is that I hav found a new way to doze off without sum sleeping pills (just read the first two pages and WALLA ure fast asleep!!!!!!!)"

"all the classics always in my opinion, are very bad"

"A poll was taken and about 73% of the students in the school liked this book. What does that show about the book?"

"If i were to recommend this to anybody i would recommend it to adults who like lots of detail, lots of connections, and olden day talking."

"The concept of the book vaguely reminded me of other 'old world' movies and books that I know, like 'Pride and Prejudice' or 'Sense and Sensibility.' The concept of gaining riches, through marriage or 'great expectations.' A lot of older material tend to follow this idea, mostly because that was society then."

"If they cut it down by 300 pages they could still get the whole story in and it would likely be better-at least for me."

"dickens...i'd love you if you weren't so old fashioned. how do you expect me to relate to old-timey london society dude? those suckers didn't even tv."

"I saw part of the movie and it was REALLY weird. I would not suggest either the book or the movie."

"On my home planet of Mars, books that we do not enjoy, we refer to as lunch. We had 'Great Expectations' before the matinee last week. The matinee was 'Smoky the Cowhorse.' It was Martian Thanksgiving, so 'Awful (great (yeah right!)) Expectations' was a good choice, because it is so freakin' long, and low in cholesterol. I am on a strictly bad classics diet. The Martian Major Leagues starts today, so I grilled a warthog.
One of the reasons that I found this book (in terms of literature, not food) so disturbing is because the Martian term for a hemmohroid is a pip. In terms of food, it could have used a bit more seasoning, like a trip to Denmark. Of course, they didn't actually go to Denmark. If instead of being named 'Magwitch' the convict had been called Bozo the Clown, and gave Pip balloon animals instead of money, I would have enjoyed the book much more.

But, the thing that ticked me off the most (and Auntie, too!) was the way that Dickens never ended his sentences: instead, he just ran them on and on and on and on and punctuated them only with commas and semicolons, as if to say, 'this is my book, feel free to fall asleep; or, you could eat it': that reminds me of a very funny story about a man named 'Kitty'...

WHACK!

(Auntie just hit me over my other head with a frying pan). The truth is... the only good part about this book is when Miss Havisham (the Martian) gets married to Pip. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HA.