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I went back to Maui. 6 months after the first trip. Twice in Maui in a year, after a lifetime of not wanting to visit ever. (Well, about 28 years of that lifetime. Ever since tired of the tiresome forced banal prevalence of ‘hawaiian’ themed parties because of tackiness of decor and costume, coconuts & the intended humorous uses of, and the explosion of the phrase ‘get lei’d’ followed by a ha ha wink wink nudge nudge.) (I know, you’re thinking that’s a lot of adjectives—tiresome, forced, banal, tacky—yes it is. And that’s how I felt. Still do, actually, but only about those kinds of weird cultural appropriation party themes that I hope saw their heydey in the 90’s and have since fallen by the wayside. By now I realize plastic carnation-y looking things aren’t a good example of Hawaiian culture. The real leis are gorgeous.)

I had to go back, because unfinished business called. There were things I wanted to do or needed to finish. I had a really annoying need to go back as soon as I could to finish these nagging loose ends. Seriously, I could think of barely anything else outside of work for the six months it took me to get back. Is it love at first sight, Hawaii? Will this sudden love stand the test of time? Not sure. That was also part of unfinished business. Here, now, is what I accomplished the second time around:

Unfinished Business 1: Hike the Pali trail, to the windmills on top

I didn’t finish this last time as it was not actually on my list to do. It was in my head after returning from a side jaunt to Kauai to do the 11-mile crater hike in Haleakala with a guide. Then at the last minute I came to my senses and realized I reaaaallly didn’t need to spend the approximate $500 for a friend for a day (aka trail and safety educated certified of some sort trail guide). She understood, then gave me the heads up about the Pali trail. Which I could only hike on the day of my departure, since I was already up exploring Haleakala National Park (other than the long hike) for this day. So the next day with HOURS to waste before my flight left I headed over to the west side of Maui to the Pali trail, right in the sweet spot of mid-day sun and heat. The day before on the volcano with sun exposure at 10,000 feet had left me painfully sunburned, which left me feeling anxious as there is no shade on the trail and I didn’t have much water with me and I didn’t have a place to clean up before the flight home and and and and etc… so, I made it about ten minutes up the trail, saw a nice view, and went back down. It was a pretty 10 minutes, but I felt like a complete hiking failure.

This trip I would get to the windmills.

The Pali trail goes up one side of the hill and down the other. You can start at either side and do the entire thing, but to do so you’ll need a car at both trailheads, need to hike up then down and then back, hike around the big hill on the road to your car at the other trailhead, or hitchhike back to your car. I was on my own so two options I wasn’t comfortable with or couldn’t manage, and the other just seemed like an extra ton of walking in the sun I didn’t want to do. So, I hiked up and down the same Lahaina side of the trail, about 5 miles total, reapplying sunscreen a few times and at points hiking with my shawl/scarf over my head. (Lightweight shawls are helpful for many reasons. Always travel with one.) To the windmills I made it! All in all, a good and moderately strenuous few hours on sometimes tricky footing. I did not get much of a sunburn, instead I ended up with a very noticeable sock/shoe tanline and a sense of accomplishment. Unfinished business, finished.

Secondary unfinished business bit: bad attitude pose in Hawaii. I did do this, on top of the hill, but did not get a picture. My lack of being able to use the timer on my camera is astonishing. Also, the battery door latch is broken so it’s taped shut and doesn’t always want to stay connected for more than a second or two, so camera wouldn’t have made it through a timer cycle anyways.

Unfinished Business 2: Hike the rim to rim crater trail in Haleakala National Park

As mentioned, I did not do the 11 mile hike in May. So I was going to do the whole thing upon my return, I swore. However. I’m still timid to hike 11 miles in unfamiliar terrain on my own, when in powerful sun at an elevation I am not acclimated to with very few people around are factored in. I looked into a few guided tours, they either did not do the entire trail and were over $100 or did do the whole trail and cost $250 or up. No meal included. Which is a lot to pay for a friend for a day and whoever else will be in the group you may or may not like but have to put up with for hours. I just didn’t want to spend that money. Also, here’s another place where you’d either need two cars, on at each trailhead, or can hitchhike back to where your car is after finishing. Hitchhiking is widely accepted for hikers and others on Maui, but still, can’t make myself do that. Therefor I opted to start at the top of the trail and just see how far I got before turning around and coming back out.

The park rangers (park rangers are awesome) gave me a few landmarks along the way to gauge distance by—they always go by the rule of It Takes Twice As Long To Hike Up As It Does To Hike Down, So Keep That In Mind. Which is generally a good rule to keep in mind, dependent on your fitness level. I wanted 3-4 hours worth of time in the crater, figuring the scenery would be a little repetitive after a while, so started down the switchback trail. At about 50 minutes, where the trail passes through two large boulders and the trail going forward looks much the same as the trail behind me, I paused for a break and then started my return. After applying more sunscreen. Getting out of the crater, from where I was about 2.25 miles and 1217 feet down, took about 65 minutes. I must have been in better hiking shape than thought. I’ll have to do more next time, but from the other side of the trail. This unfinished business part I’m calling Good Enough For Now I Suppose, More To Come Sometime Later.

Unfinished Business 3: See some of how locals actually live

This trip I stayed in a studio condo in a golf course resort type area in Wailea, an upscale part of the island geared towards tourism. Instead of a resort with activities and onsite restaurants. The Waldorf Astoria and Hyatt and Four Seasons resorts were nearby, to give you an idea. There is an outdoor shopping area close with a Prada and other stores, that is easiest driven to, not walked. This was not where locals lived—rather where they came to work retail or service jobs, or where they drove through on the way to Makena & further south. The condo was a lovely condo for an ok price, but was more separate from town life than I wanted.

Wailea is south of the main Kihei area, which was much more of what I was looking for in this trip. Local shops, cafes, condo areas lined the streets, with beaches or more apartment/condo residences across the street. Guide books tell me these are some of the favorite beaches for locals. Which seemed true—as I wandered people seemed to have their beach/ocean routines set, done, then they head off to the next thing that they do everyday. It’s not always the big display we mainlanders make it to be, with all the gear and the lead up to it. Several families were having parties in the parks—big family groups, people of all ages and sizes coming together to celebrate a birthday. To jump in the bounce house for a bit, then go cool off in the ocean for a few minutes, then go play a game, then go visit with family under the tent while watching the little kids chase each other around with handfulls of frosting that inevitably end up smeared all over opposing force’s faces. Family fun in the park, set to the music of the large portable stereo someone hooked up.

Wailuku First Friday is a monthly party put on by the town of Wailuku. The town blocks off main street, puts up a stage on one end for the more well-known bands, while a park on the other end of the street serves as a smaller performance venue. The street in between and park area are filled with vendor booths for the town’s shops, restaurants, and bakeries. I heard about these friday town parties when leaving Maui the first time and hoped to visit Wailuku’s upon my return. So I did, not sure what the city turn out would be. Turns out that this is an event the town actually shows up for! With their friends, or with their family groups. (Though have to say I didn’t see that many groups of teens. Teens are too cool for a town party, I’m sure. Or maybe they showed up after I had gone for the evening. Either way, normal teenage behavior.) Many times I overheard “Hey, brah!” as greeting to friends or colleagues spotting each other in the crowd. There were vendors that were definite favorites among the locals, judging by the lines—most of those vendors had something to do with pork. I did not wait in those lines. I did have some delightful fish tacos and baked good of some sort stuffed with pumpkin. Skinny white guy with dreads was there hawking kombucha. I watched the middle shool band perform in the park venue, with the band leader named Benny who was so encouraging of his students. The band was all ukulele, of course. And amongst all of the friendly community gathering was one small dark spot, a group demonstration. A small group with their highly conservatively charged religious orator and their “Homosexuality Is a Sin” and “Got AIDs?” signs showing proudly their brand of hate or intolerance. And right next to them, several Wailuku town representatives, silently holding their own sign with the words “These Views are Not those of Wailuku Town,” who would stay the entire night, as long as the demonstration group was there. Thank you, Wailuku town.

The 2nd annual Made in Maui County Festival was happening at the Arts & Cultural center, so I stopped in. It’s like any arts festival. Jammed parking lots, lots of people, booths of local artisans. Many very talented, many environmentally focused in one way or another. A stage for product demonstrations. A food court. All outdoors. I wandered around, bought my daily dose of tuna poke from a food truck (delicious), and left. Even in Hawaii, this scene was much to similar to the arts street fairs here to be of interest. Too many people crowding a small space. This is one reason I wanted to be away from the city for a while.

Unfinished business of seeing how locals actually live: partially finished. I could do better.

I missed out on this last time. Seeing/photographing the honu from the Ho’okipa overlook (forgot my memory card), then heading down to the beach to see them up close. This trip I wanted to survey the surf scene at the overlook in the morning standing in the breeze while drinking coffee purchased at a coffee shop in Paia on a ‘best coffee on maui’ list or two I’d seen, because that’s what I do, then wander down to the beach to get up close but a safe distance from the honu that use this particular beach as a resting spot. This happens to dovetail nicely with another secondary unfinished business bit: getting a picture with our tour guide for a day on the Road to Hana tour in May. Both Carrie and I realized this oversight almost immediately upon returning. I vowed to rectify this if I ended up in the same place at the same time with said guide, however awkward it may be. Ho’okipa overlook was one of the stops on the tour, and as I was there in the morning to drinking coffee while surveying honu and surfing, there was a chance the tour buses would be stopping at the same time I was there. So. Coffee at Ho’okipa, yes. Watching surfers, yes. Honu on the shore below, yes. Up close with the honu, yes. Was there even a rainbow? Yes. Was there a tour guide? Yes, many, from several companies. But not the one we knew. This was always an outside shot, so I shall call this unfinished business #4 finished nevertheless.

Unfinished Business 5: Bring back a Maui sea monster for my home

I purchased one for a friend in May and have had whiny voice saying “but I want one toooooo” in my head since then. Now I have one. And so does my mother. Happy Birthday to her.

Unfinished Business 6: Ali’i Kula Lavendar

Not really sure the impetus for having this on my list, but there it is. I stopped on the way down from Haleakala for a quick bite to eat and a beverage, and am glad I did. Lavender is not in season but the lovely gardens are still open to wander, there is a selection of great-smelling lavender products for sale in a no-pressure environment, and there’s a purple tree painted on the wall. So of course I loved it here. The woman taking care of the shop that day was one of the most friendly people I have ever met. We chatted a bit while waiting for her iphone to charge so she could ring up my lavender soap purchases. Turns out she does sometimes miss the more varied seasonal weather of other climates, though it does occasionally snow up on the mountain and trees kind of change color in the higher parts of upcountry. She mentioned being in Minnesota once, for a wedding in the winter. At a resort on a lake somewhere she didn’t remember where. She asked me if there was place like that in Minnesota, where there is a resort on a lake? I smiled and said yes, we do have a few resorts on lakes in Minnesota.

And now, Unfinished Business 7: Finding out if my sudden love for this place called Hawaii still exists

Based on Maui, yes. It’s a little more real to me now, instead of just resort life. But I think I’ll still have to go back sometime to reassess.

Brace yourselves, travel introspection ahead. Does everyone who goes to Hawaii come back and feel the need to write something in this vein? Here’s Bourdain on Hawaii too, much more succinct than me.

Often, my trips are colored by something very early on that sets the tone for how the entire visit will go. My last trip to Vienna was foggy from the moment I stepped off the plane: I was cold the entire time regardless of temperature. Southern Illinois roadtrip: started out hot & uncomfortable and stayed that way, on various levels. Beijing: first time my ankles ever swelled on a flight. The rest of the trip was in some way involving uncomfortable feet–downpours of rain resulting in sodden shoes, unexpectedly long treks to transportation, and a more difficult hike on the Great Wall than imagined (which I was delighted about). And so, this trip to Hawaii. What would it be? Here’s how it started:

Flew out of Minneapolis in the midst of one of the most beautiful spring mornings in memory.

There was NO line at airport security.

A fellow traveller at my gate was wearing a May the 4th Be With You t-shirt. Meaningful, because I was headed to Hawaii to help celebrate friend Carrie’s birthday on May the 4th.

My mom sent pictures of her new little barn kittens right before I boarded.

I had an exit row to myself on the flight to LAX.

I stepped off the plane in Maui & realized I was walking three times faster than everyone else in the airport–a reminder to just slow down already.

The drive to the hotel north of Lahaina had no heavy traffic.

A valet at the hotel actually yelled at one driver in the drop off area who was impatiently honking his horn “Dude, chill!”

The hotel had penguins. Penguins.

Molting penguin is looking at you!

By the time I had been on Maui for a couple of hours, I wondered if this was it–if this charmed beginning would follow me through my entire 8 days in Hawaii. Ease, a relaxed pace, penguins, no deeper thoughts or decisions necessary. Work had already fled my brain. Would work stay out or remain on the periphery, crowding enjoyment?

I slept fitfully that first night. Jetlag and the unaccustomed sounds of waves crashing on the beach were my distraction to sleep. At 4:30am I was awake for good, and not even cranky. If you’ve ever been around me when I wake up in the morning, you know this is out of the norm. I made coffee, stepped to the lanai, and took in my first daylight views of this place called Hawaii that so many people rave about. People rave about it so much, in fact, it annoyed me to the point of specifically not wanting to visit. I’m not prone to visiting anywhere tropical. I have never enjoyed sitting on a beach in a swimsuit. Tropical locales are too hot, there is too much coconut, sunburns are not fun, and I get really tired of people talking about beaches as the best thing that could possibly ever be ever ever. Instead, more oft I venture to places of snowy mountains or really old cities. Places with thousand-year-old paintings I can read history in. I came to Hawaii this time because I wanted to be far away from what I knew, but not have to work to figure out communication between languages. And not do much if any planning. I didn’t know what to expect, but figured I could always just head to a hillside trailhead if all the people on beaches with shave ice were making me twitchy. But here, gazing at the West Maui Mountains and the Pacific Ocean in one sweeping glance, in an acceptably warm but not hot temperature, Hawaii was almost instantly winning me over.

We bided time until the day’s adventure was to start, eventually wandering out to find the pick up location for the Road to Hana tour booked for the day. Somewhere around 6:50 am the 12-person tour van pulled up to the hotel, the driver stepped off the bus and first words out of his mouth to check in the crew for the day was my name, loud and pronounced correctly. Now, my name is not hard to pronounce. It’s said just like it is spelled. But still, this correct & confident pronunciation never happens. There is always hesitation, switching up of syllables, a raised tone at the end signifying the person had no idea if that pronunciation is correct, or worse, a lot of “Daniel” instead of “Danielle.” This time though, it was my name spoken aloud correctly, and by a local. Again with the ease of this place. This day, this person, is what would lay the tone for this trip to Hawaii.

Why?

Because: this man, our driver, Keoni, is a native of Maui. 46 year old single father of four kids 13-26, and has never left the islands. Not only has he never left, he mentioned to friend Carrie (the girl with the airplane around the world tattoo on her shoulder) that he did not fully understand the desire to travel. This may seem narrow-minded, but I don’t think narrow-mindedness factored in to Keoni’s view of travel or of the world. It’s entirely possible he’s never had a chance to leave the islands or even think about traveling–single parenting in this expensive locale must be very hard to take a vacation from. And why, when you’re already in this beautiful, relaxed place.

I don’t understand not wanting to travel, just as he does not understand the desire to. So I ponder, during this day long jaunt and beyond.

Keoni told us tales of life in Hawaii as he drove, tales I want to believe. Tales that also seemed a little crazy. Not a surprise, as amongst other tattoos, a prominent one on his neck ready “Krazy.” Sure, he had our 12 lives in his hands for that day on a narrow winding road with precarious drop offs, but you know you’re safe with a person who spells crazy with a “k.” It’s the ones who spell it with a “c” you have to watch out for. (Side note. There is no C in the Hawaiian alphabet, so this rule may not apply. Too late to worry about now though.) His tales were of surfing every morning. Tales of being the troublemaker in class as a youngster, pulling flowers off of trees and squirting the liquid inside at the teacher. Tales of racing on Maui’s curvy roads at night, roads he knew every inch of having grown up on this island. Tales of boar hunting. Tales of saving tourists from dangerous waves crashing on sharp lava rocks. Tales of swimming and fishing and feeding sharks the fish out of his fishing bag, knowing the sharks just want the fish and would not hurt him. He also knew everyone we drove past–the hang loose sign was flashed at about every local we passed the entire day. The conclusion I came to is this: Keoni is a part of the island, the island is a part of him. He belongs here. To this land, this air, this water. If you have a sense of belonging to a place so completely, why would you ever need to leave that place? If you left, you’d be lost. There, you know who you are.

Top left picture by Carrie. Me headed down a hill, Keoni watching another one of our crew, Matthew, scramble down same hill. Top right, sharp lava rocks & waves. Bottom, part of the Hana Highway. Forgive the photo quality please, I brilliantly forgot my better camera’s memory card at home.

Where I live currently and have for 15 years is 10,000 lakes lovely. I have a good life, interesting job, great friends & colleagues, but I’m not rooted to anything in the history or landscape. I was born in Montana, have lived in Nebraska, Iowa, Italy (technically) and Minnesota. My family is in various places elsewhere. Travel has always for me been a chance to see how other people in this world live. To explore & understand more about different cultures. To widen perspectives. To build compassion. To learn. To see the history, and yes also to see pretty things and take pictures and strike a pose to eat lots of food and to escape from everyday life at home. And tell stories of later. Some places I want to go back to constantly, some places I’m perfectly happy not to set foot in again. But always am glad I had the opportunity to see.

Maybe I’ve been missing a part though. Maybe the desire to travel is also a person searching for belonging. Wandering the world until they happen upon the place they feel rooted. My view of the world changes in bits all the time–but the part that stays the same is seeing that everywhere, we’re all just humans, trying to get along and navigate life with what we have. Some rural, some urban, some poor, some privileged, educated or not, but we all get up at the start of our day, do some kind of work, sleep, and do it all over again the next day. We’re all just trying to make a life. We just need to find the place where we make sense, where we belong.

I was in Hawaii for 8 days. I stepped off the plane & felt calmer. The landscape is more than just beaches–it’s mountains and rainforest and volcano and more. Sitting in the backseat of a van on winding roads wasn’t so great for motion sickness, but worth the scenery. Scrambling down rocks and slipping into a pool was worth it. The arid windy back backside of Haleakala was stunning, as was the lush rocky east side. The coffee was great. At one point I may have even high-fived someone, a bit out of character. The rattle of bamboo sounded like a midwestern fall, a taste of more varied seasons in Hawaii’s own spectacular way. Waterfalls are beautiful. The cliff divers were fearless, I wanted to join them… well, maybe that’s an adventure I can work up to. But the thing is it seems plausible, not out of reach. I took to this island lifestyle pretty well for being initially uninterested. Even confronting a fear (not a huge fear mind you, but a fear nonetheless) of the ocean. I greeted other runners on two morning jogs, like any runners do anywhere. I talked to all the animals. I was amazed at how sparkly the stars were. I drove winding roads. I hiked. I scrambled up a muddy hillside, further than anyone else on the trail that day who turned back before me, the Kauai mud becoming one with my shoes and socks and legs. I surfed. My contacts were swept away in Hanalei Bay–a piece of me left there. I ate the fish tacos, I slurped the fresh fruit smoothies. I took no lava rocks. I cringed at the price of dairy products.

Windswept Kaupo, the expanse of Haleakala crater above the clouds, a partial view of Mt. Waialeale through drizzle, halfway up the breezy Pali trail.

I waked through towns and visitor locales, watching people interacting with this place. Some loved it, and some were just going through the motions, looking for the next golf course. I had conversations with locals, new transplants, and old transplants. Several locals or longtime residents told me I looked really familiar. Some told tales of why they moved to this place. Reasons of needing change were most prevalent, followed by “it was my dream.” Some people thrive, some people don’t. Everyone I talked to also told me to come back. One woman told me this is her paradise, but perhaps in the most sobering thing I had heard since landing, she also told me “there are jerks everywhere,” as a reminder that nowhere is perfect. There is homelessness. There is unemployment. There is alcoholism.

A touch of reality in the banyan tree.

I spent a couple of days on Kauai. I stayed in Princeville because I could use a timeshare for free. I did no planning for this island. The timeshare had a concierge on duty, so I stopped in a couple of times to find help making plans for the day. Enter Kai–one of the concierges, and a Kauai native. She has lived all over the world; a gymnast, contortionist, equestrian, botanist, but keeps returning to her beloved Kauai. She lives an adventure lifestyle when not sitting behind a desk as a concierge to pay the bills, helping people like me navigate their way through her island. The stories she tells of surfing with whales & handstands on rocky ledges…I’ll group her into the ranks of “krazy.” She travels, but always returns to Kauai without question.

Hope you’re enjoying my contacts, Hanalei Bay.

Here in Hawaii I felt good. I felt healthy. I felt happy. I felt decent, comfortable in my own skin. All things that had been noticeably missing in degrees for months preceding this trip. This could be explained away by saying it was from the remaining high of training for & running a 5K a week before travel. You hear it all the time & it’s true, exercise is the worst enemy of anxiety. Or, it could be simply and most logically be because I was actually on vacation after a long stretch of insanely busy time at work and after a gray midwest winter. This happens on vacation–you’re happy & everyone around you is happy, just by the fact that you’re away from real life pressures. There is time to relax and re-engage in relationships with actual humans instead of computer screens and emails. Is this place possibly real life or just suspended happiness, a bubble to reach on vacation, soon to burst. In a tourist economy, people’s jobs are to give tourists the best time they can where they are, and get good tips doing so. The trick is to separate a temporary high from reality of being.

I know I enjoyed my time in Hawaii and am almost constantly dreaming up schemes to get back there. Some plausible, some not so much. Daydreaming I am very good at. But. Belonging, on these isolated islands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? With the krazies like and Kai and Keoni? Where my name is pronounced correctly the first time? In Hawaii I felt settled, for the short time I was there. Do I belong there?

In no particular order, and not all-encompassing. Accompanied (mostly) by pictures from a recent trip to Maui & Kauai. Also perhaps not all oddball… that could just be me.

1. Schedule super busy time at work for the 8 months previous to vacation so everything seems magical just by virtue of not working. Or, schedule vacation right after your busy time at work so everything seems magical just by virtue of not working. Or if you’re always busy at work, just go. If there’s never a good time, just go. You need to go. Do NOT say you’re too busy to go. Downtime is essential for being a good human. You can’t have a great vacation if you don’t take one.

2. Just go.

3. Bring an extra pair of contacts if you wear contacts. And your glasses.

4. Monochromatic or all complementary colored non-wrinkly wardrobes makes packing so easy. Especially if you’re throwing things into your bag an hour before you take off to the airport.

5. Consider hiring a driver/guide for a day or schedule a day tour with guide for whatever interests you. Like this one on Maui or these people on Kauai or this guy in Beijing. ONE day. Unless you have an unlimited budget. Seriously. Tours can feel canned if you don’t get the right one (I’ve been pretty lucky with getting the good guides!), but it’s a day when all you have to do is sit back & observe nice-looking things (like the scenery. Or your guide/driver) and not make any decisions or hunt down food or need to pay attention to road safety. After your previous months of super busy work leading up to your trip, this easy day is nice recoup time to gather energy and information for the rest of the trip. And is a day when you won’t need to pay for a rental car, if you’re a rental car type of person. Especially recommended at the beginning of your trip, since it does help you get acquainted with the area to plan activities for further days or give you a chance to pick your guide’s head about awesome things to do. (But know what you’re signing up for. Don’t be expecting to be hiking all day when you sign up for a driving tour. And vice-versa.)

(This is the only picture I have of our tour van & guide on the Hana Highway on Maui. This was a 12-person vehicle. The largest group I would probably ever recommend going anywhere with. Any larger, you spend more time getting on & off the bus than seeing anything off the bus.)

6. Face some sort of fear. Which may include but is not limited to: The ocean. Surfing. Talking to people you don’t know. Sitting in the back of a tour bus on hairpin turn roads. Driving those roads later yourself. Haggling. Meditating. Skiing that black diamond. Spending part of a day on a beach & eating shaved ice.

7. Don’t be afraid to get dirty. Hotels have sinks to rinse mud out of clothes. And shoes are meant to be in dirt.

9. Train for a 5k or sporting event of your choosing, as long as it requires self-propelled physical motion, before your trip. Run your race/event 1-2 weeks before vacation so you reap the benefits of the energy this gives you during vacation. And vacation will also seem like vacation away from more than just work–you’re taking a break from work AND training, making your time away doubly magical.

(UNLESS your vacation includes an activity such as climbing Kilimanjaro or running across Liechtenstein–then train for that, of course, up until that part of your trip.)

Side note: who wants to climb Kilimanjaro or run across Liechtenstein with me?

10. Bring a book to read or something to do, but if you don’t get to reading it, not a big deal. You’ll have it there if you want to read it. Point is, don’t feel beholden to preconceived notions of what you HAVE to do on a vacation (things with large monetary deposits excepted). Do what moves you at the time. Don’t over-schedule.

11. Don’t spend your entire time shopping. Memories & experiences are souvenir enough, you don’t need kitsch too (I’m not saying don’t ever shop. Just not ALL THE TIME. If one of your friends is being kind enough to watch your pets while you’re gone, please do get them something.)

12. Talk to the animals you see! (From a safe distance. Beware, they’re not all friendly. Like wild boars and long horn sheep. Not particularly friendly. Cats in Istanbul = friendly.)

13. Try the local foods. Try them. There is very little excuse. (except for, ya know, deadly allergies. And belief systems.) You’re in a new place for a reason. Try the local culture.

14. Realize the culture of the place you’re visiting is different than your own & respect that. Even if you don’t agree. Just respect. Be a good human. And if you can’t respect, you don’t need to return on vacation. (If you want to enact social change, that’s a whole different ball of wax. And also not a vacation.)

15. Tell someone you don’t know that you really like their TARDIS phone case, or similar sentiment. And make a friend for a day.

16. Have a thing you do. Mine usually involves dance moves—throwing down waltz steps in Taksim Square, or having bad attitude in various places:

(which I completely forgot about in Hawaii. Hence the picture on the Great Wall. Perhaps I’ll just have to go back to Hawaii to remedy this.)

Or sometimes even running in new locales, dependent on what shoes came with me on the trip. This was my view for a couple of morning runs on Maui:

17. Wear a flower tucked behind your ear all day if the opportunity lends itself. If someone gave you the flower for one reason or another or if the smell is lastingly delightful, even better.

18. Coffee, no matter how delicious & no matter how delightful the small farmstand it came from & no matter how jetlag is hitting you, shall not be consumed on an iffy stomach while riding in the back of a small tour van driving roads with many hairpin turns. Ever.

19. Luck out & get an exit row to yourself on the flight there. Since we all have such control of that.

20. Get inordinately excited about something small. Like the coelacanth you just found out was in the museum you’re going to. You will always remember this as a happy moment.

21. Wherever you go, notice & enjoy the light. The light can be amazing.

22. Pack light. You hear it all the time. This is not slightly unrealistic–more necessary. And is actually my #1 travel tip. Other than have an open mind. So maybe pack light is #2 after have an open mind? Whichever. Have an open mind & pack light. Enjoy where you are, don’t get caught up in the stuff you have with you or what you don’t have.

23. Figure out if you’re a picture taker or not, and be that. If you ARE a picture taker, for the love of whatever you believe, BRING YOUR MEMORY CARDS. They’re expensive to buy on trips and it’s just really annoying to have to take time to find one.

24. Embrace the idea that you will likely forget one major thing on a trip, and only realize it right after the airline door closes or when you first pull out your camera for pictures and realize your memory cards are at home next to your computer instead of in your camera. You will forget something. And it will be ok. And will give you a fun workaround story later. (Unless it’s your meds or your passport or one of your travel party. Make sure you have those.)

25. Don’t rely completely on your smartphone for directions, itineraries, confirmations, etc. Those batteries can die before you realize it. Even if you’re prepared with a backup charger.