Back when I had a girlfriend who hailed from the bustling metropolis of Galt, I spent a lot more time than I felt necessary in nearby Lodi. Yes, Lodi, of "Oh lord, stuck in..." fame. During that era, I developed a real appreciation for the concentrated essence-o-Central-Valley surrealism that is life in the self-proclaimed Zinfandel Capitol of the World. Now the folks at the Lodi News have brought us this story that captures that essence in just a few short paragraphs... well, words fail me. Let's just say it features the following crucial elements: Burning motorhome, roller-skating stripper, Coors-Light-can dashboard icon. Read on.