Samantha asked me how my dad was doing and since I can only post 140 characters on twitter… 🙂 I figured I’d share an update.

Life is funny sometimes and I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so let me catch you up.

Most of you know my dad fell on the 17th of June and it was originally thought that he broke his collar bone, but the last x-ray showed it was his shoulder. Let’s move on to June 20th; My step-mom fell and fractured a vertebrae.

Jinny, my step-mom, is doing okay. Sore and bruised, but she’s in good spirits. She goes to see the doctor on Wednesday. My dad’s neighbor and good friend, Orvil, said he wants to take Jinny for her appointment.

Now Orvil is one of those guys who would give you the shirt off his back, or at least he’d give my dad the shirt off his back. 🙂 He’s a great guy and a wonderful friend.

Dad had blood drawn and the doctor said everything is perfect, except for the shoulder, dad’s in great health. 🙂 He must be feeling pretty good because he is getting cabin fever and had one of the caregivers drive him, my step-mom, and the dog to Trader Joes today. 🙂

Dad goofing around and Orvil is in the middle egging him on.

Anyway, my dad called me last Thursday, June 26th, and said, “Guess what happened?” (Lately this is a very scary question.) “Orvil just came over.”

The first thing out of my mouth was, “Don’t tell me, he’s on crutches.”

“Nope, he fell in the store parking lot and did the same thing as me!” Dad tells me as he laughs.

I asked him which arm and Orvil’s is the left and dad’s is the right, so I told them they were a fine pair and now they could help each other button their pants! (Dad had sent me shopping the day before to buy pull on shorts)

I know you are thinking just how horrible this is, but frankly, the three of them think it’s quite funny.

Now let’s get to the bad part. My step-mom had a series of strokes back in 2005 and since then my dad has been her main caretaker, except for the few times he was in the hospital, but with his fractured shoulder he can’t take care of her or, drive, or do the dishes, or cook!

Now I don’t know if you know this or not, but caretakers charge anywhere from $10 to $20 dollars an hour!

I was talking to Roxanne on the phone the other day (She organizes which caregivers go where) and she was telling me that there is a board and care in the area that has a bedroom, with a walk in closet, available for…Wait for it…Seven thousand a month. A month! Good God most people don’t even make that much in a month, especially on social security. My dad’s not rich, nor even well to do, but they live comfortably. They both get social security and dad has a reasonable pension along with a stipend from the Veterans.

BUT $7,000.00 a month!

Okay, I’m done ranting. I told my kids, now I am really scared to get old.

So I am going to have to find someone to live-in. They’d get free board and care and a reasonable salary. Want to know the really scary part? Where do you find a honest, trustworthy person?

There is a sliver of silver lining in the clouds though. If you are a Veteran or the spouse of a Veteran there is an Aid and Attendance benefit that you can apply for. You can learn more about it here. http://www.vetangels.org/

Oh my Goodness Karen – poor you (and your Dad, Jinny and Orvil!) No wonder you couldn’t fit that lot into 140 characterss! If you wrote that as a short story people would tell you there were too many coincidences – and that it was unrealistic! Sounds like you are remaining in good spirits though – big hugs 🙂 And, you best get writing – and nothing short of a world bestseller – to afford the care bills! 😉

Sometimes real life has more twists and turns than the best selling novels. 🙂 My family has always joked, that with all the stories we have to tell, it would make a great soap opera. LOL
As for my writing, I keep telling myself I better get busy since I can’t seem to win the lottery.
It just blows my mind at the costs! Yes, my dad made $25 plus an hour before he retired and he does have savings thanks to sound investments, and being frugal, but at those rates…I really have no idea how long his savings would last.

Eden knows my horror story regarding live-ins. Be VERY careful about this. I read that story that you linked and sadly there are a lot of people out there that will take advantage of elderly people in many different ways. Furthermore, the law sides in their favor when you try to get rid of them (or it’s too late because you’ve already been duped).

The live-in that my family hired for my grandfather ended up grooming him and turning him against the family, convinced him to marry her without anyone in the family knowing about it, and had the will changed in her favor. After the family did find out, she moved him away and then he died shortly afterwards. She took almost everything he had and left the family with the leftovers. She apparently has done this at least two other times, too.

I know your situation is a bit different, but still . . . I can’t stress it enough, be careful about who you let into your parents’ home.

I remember hearing about your grandfather and it saddens me that there are people like that in the world. I know being a caregiver is stressful and takes a toll on a person’s emotions, but I just shudder at the thought that people abuse, not only the elderly, but also the frail, sick, and defenseless. I just don’t understand what has happened to our values, morals, and society at large. It’s just sad.

Things will get better and I hope your parents recover quickly, Orvil too! As Eden says, just breath. I don’t know how people can pay the crazy prices for services.

One of my biggest fears is becoming a burden on my family, but I know they would take care of me. I just don’t want to give them the opportunity to prove it. I’m pretty sure that if I get into bad health or incapacitated I’ll be heading back to Thailand and have a pretty nurse take care of me for a fraction of the cost.

Hi Dannie! I think I might have to send my dad to Thailand, he loves the pretty nurses.

I am waiting for this bad cycle to end. Since my post two more things have popped up, not life-threatening, but frustrating to say the least!

I am constantly seeing a commercial on TV about insurance, asking how much money will you need after you retire, and I don’t think we really know until something like this happens and then we need to rethink our strategy.