Learning How to Be a Better Bottom, Tony Soprano: MAGA Bro and a Brief History of Getting a Drink Thrown in Your Face

Of course he’s into MAGA, I thought. The dude loves crime, loves power even more and is the kind of guy who thinks it’s perfectly normal to bury hundreds of thousands of dollars in bird feed. I mean, if that doesn’t sound like a Trump guy, I don’t know what does.

But if you read the piece, it becomes clear there’s compelling arguments for the alternative, and now I’m beginning to waver.

Don’t trust me, though. Read it and make up your own mind, but once you do, be sure to cast your vote, here:

Must Read

“My Month With a ‘Bottom Coach’”
In the 20 years since he came out to his mother, C. Brian Smith has always been a “top.” But that doesn’t mean bottoming — i.e., being on the receiving end of penetrative sex — hasn’t crossed his mind. Even if he wanted to flip his gay script, though how would he even do it? With the help of a team of bottoming experts, that’s how. So, for the last month, this 20-year top went to work preparing his ass — and mind — for penetration. Here’s how it went. READ MORE

Make Jersey Great Again

Though The Sopranos has been off the air for more than a decade, there’s been a question lately that’s consumed its still-vibrant fandom far more than “what happened to the Russian in the Pine Barrens?”: Is Tony Soprano a MAGA guy?

Dude-Strology: Hot Sex Edition

Sure, MEL’s Chief Astrology Officer, Taj, would gladly help you navigate your personal and professional life based on nothing more than your astrological sign. In fact, she’sbeendoingexactlythatfor a whilenow. But this being Valentine’s Day and all, we thought we’d skip the personal and professional this week, and go straight to the sexual. So let’s get down to brass tacks: Which sign has the hottest sex?

Splish, Splash

As much as it is about roses, fancy dinners and champagne and strawberries, Valentine’s Day is also the unofficial holiday of failed romantic gestures. And nothing says “you done fucked up” like a full glass of buttery chardonnay to the face.

Jeff Gross is MEL’s senior editor for social media and content marketing. His daily ICYMI column, which chronicles all things meta on the site, is the quickest way to catch up on MEL, and the funniest thing you’ll read all day. Follow him on Twitter.