Narrator: Newsreel of the Stars! Dateline: Hollywood, 1930, the Warner Bros. Studio, home to the biggest stars in Tinsel Town. Here at the studio's new animation department, the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars, ultimately creating three new characters -- the Warner Brothers and their sister Dot.

Yakko, Wakko & Dot: Helllooooo, Nurse!

Narrator: Unfortunately, the Warner kids were totally out of control, and sent the animators running to the hills.

Narrator: The trio ran amok throughout the studio, creating utter chaos. Finally, they were captured. The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, were locked away in the studio vault, never to be released. As for the Warners themselves, who made even less sense, they were locked away in the studio water-tower, also never to be released. Publicly, the studio has disavowed any knowledge of the Warners' existence, to this very day -- when the Warners escaped!

[A typical "Wheel of Morality" skit. The Warners are running through a park, but stop.]

Yakko: It's that time again.

Wakko: To remember the Alamo?

Dot: To do another one of our cute little skits?

Yakko: No. It's time to learn the day's lesson. And to find out what it is, we turn to...the Wheel of Morality! [spins it] Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn. [it stops] Moral number three. And the moral of today's story is... [reads from printout] ..."Elvis lives on in our hearts, in his music, and in a trailer park outside Milwaukee."

Dot: Hey, you can't do that to him. [Ms. Flamiel writes an F on her forehead]

Ms. Flamiel: F!!![Dot cries her eyes out. Wakko buries his head in his arms, laughing. Ms. Flamiel glares at him, then writes an F on his hat with a black marker]F!!![Wakko stops laughing then stares at the F. Then, he gets very angry & starts to shake his head]

Yakko: Uh, oh. Now you've gone and hurt his feelings.

Dot: I'd apologize if I were you.

Ms. Flamiel: I will NOT! You're horrid, naughty children! [Growling, Wakko grabs his desk and shakes, steam shooting out of his nose. Ms. Flamiel starts to look worried. Finally, the top of Wakko's hat blows up like a volcano. Ms. Flamiel covers her eyes as Wakko's head explodes offscreen]

Dr. Scratchansniff: Why aren't you talking with Mr. Puppethead? No no, it iz very easy; watch me, watch me. [clears throat] Hello, Mr. Puppethead, how are you? I am fine, Dr. Scratchansniff. How are you? I am fine, Mr. Puppethead. Did you have a yummy breakfast? Oh yes, yes! Very yummy, thank you. How was your breakfast? My breakfast was yummy as vell. [to the Warner siblings] Now you see? Isn't that easy?

Yakko: Uhmm... are you sure you don't want to see a p-sychiatrist?

Dr. Scratchansniff: I am a p-sychi-- I mean psychiatrist! [tearing at his hair with the puppet] I AM! I AM! I AM! I AM!

Mr. Director: [gestures from one end of a table to another where the Warners appear then reappear] Hoyl! How'd you-? With the going- You were there, but here now! You are- for me to see! How'd you do?!

Yakko[To Wakko] You understand any of that?

Wakko I think he said: [repeats Mr. Director's lines]

Yakko Thanks for clearing that up.

Yakko Tell us, how can we help you?

Wakko: Yes, please tell us, please!

Dot: So that we can go home sometime in the near future?

Hello Nurse: Well, it's about my boss. You see, he's missing!

Yakko: He's missing what? Eyes? Hair? A personality?

Hello Nurse: Nononono. He's gone. My boss has vanished!

Yakko: [Jumps on the desk next to her] Would you do that "no, no, no" thing again?

Hello Nurse: Nononono.

Yakko: I love that! [goes back to his seat]

Hello Nurse: My boss has vanished!

Yakko: So I guess that means you're available for temp work?

Dot: This could conceivably go on forever.

Yakko: Now tell us, where did you last see your boss?

Hello Nurse: In the Mambo Room at the Tropicombo Club! A band was playing Latin dance music. I was with the doctor. He mumbled something. The band had a big, dumb guy playing the drums, and everyone was dancing under a pole. Then, the doctor vanished!

Yakko: Now let me get this straight: He muttered some Mumbo-Jumbo during the combo Samba in the Mambo at the Tropicombo, then there was a Jumbo Dumbo playing the Limbo on the Bongos and then he was gone?

Dot: Old King Cole was a merry old soul and a merry old soul was he. He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, and he called information for numbers he could've easily looked up in the phone book! Thank you.

Dot: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy... so he changed his name to Ed Asner. Thank you!

Dot: Thirty days has September, April, June, and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except for my Uncle Spit who was given thirty-to-life! Thank you.

Dot: I'm a little teapot, short and stout! This is my handle, (pulls out a note from behind her) and here is a note from my shrink! He says I'm getting better! LAST WEEK I THOUGHT I WAS A TOASTER OVEN! [Laughs insanely] Thank you.

Dot: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall! Humpty Dumpty retained a lawyer and settled out of court for a lot of money and ownership of the wall! Thank you.

Slappy: If I were a better person, I'd ignore her and go on with my life. But I'm not.

Slappy: Skippy, in most cases, revenge is not the right thing. In other cases, it's the only thing.

Slappy: What about the plot, Hemingway? What's an anvil got to do with this story?

Skippy: Who cares? Anvils are funny!

Slappy: I'm gonna make you some brain food. That's right, I'm gonna make you my famous walnut fig dough surprise.

Skippy: What's the surprise?

Slappy: I'm outta walnuts.

Slappy: Look, Skippy. I've seen and done every trick in the book- [Skippy sees a large dog looming behind Slappy] Hold it there! You're doing the old "Frozen Take" bit, which means Doug the Dog... [Pulls a club out of her purse and clonks Doug without looking] ...was right behind me. Heh-heh-heh!

[Slappy and Skippy {circa 1969} have woken up to find that Woodstock has sprung up around their tree. Slappy wants to put a stop to this and starts towards the stage with Skippy following. They are standing atop two huge speakers in the center of the crowd as The Who is playing on the stage]

[Boone attempts to ram Slappy's door open, but she outwits him and makes him trip before having him go back outside with the log.]

Skippy: Who was that, Aunt Slappy?

Slappy: Maybe a flying Wallenda, I'm not sure. My eyes are bad.

Boone:[dazed after hitting a tree] Daniel Boone was a great big guy....

[Boone has come up with yet another idea to cut down Slappy's tree by crudely disguising himself as a woodpecker.]

Dover Boys:[singing] Daniel Boone was a big dang bird. Yes, a really big bird. But he didn't know that his disguise was pretty absurd.

Boone: Quiet, you dadgum idiots! This is a good disguise. [laughs] That old squirrel will think I'm just a big woodpecker and cut down the right in front of her.

[While using his disguise to chop down the tree, Slappy is serving Skippy when she gets wind of Boone's newest attempt.

Slappy: There's no rest for the elderly. [Opens door] Hey, are you Daniel Boone?

Boone: Shoot no, I'm just a big woodpecker.

Slappy: Get out of here with that Woodpecker thing there. You're Boone.

[Boone ties to continue lying, but she sees past that. Slappy tricks him into eating bugs which makes him sick.]

Dover Boys:[singing] Daniel Boon was a﻿ big guy, yes a big sick guy. He lost his lunch all over the trees and sky.

Slappy: That's nice singing. They remind me of Up with People.

[Boone is seen putting gun powder underneath Slappy's home tree in an attempt to blow up both her and the tree.]

Dover Boys:[singing] Daniel Boone was a great big jerk. Yes, a stupid jerk. He had another dumb plan that more than likely wouldn't work.

Boone:[offended] That ties it, you boys are fired. COME ON DOWN FROM THERE AND GIT!

[The Dover Boys revealed themselves to Boone, demanding answers in why he fired them because their agent got them this gig with a singing contract.]

Boone: I said GIT! I'm going to blow this tree and the squirrel sky high and I don't need no Smart-Alec chorus. If I can't have that tree, then nobody's going to have it.

[He attempts to blow up Slappy's home tree by leaving a trail of gun powder and lights a match. While hiding out in his wagon, Boone comes up with different ideas in how to sell off the remnants of the tree when his cabin is completed. He and his wagon are unknowingly blown up into space.]

Slappy: Hey Boone, I've moved all your gunpowder. They was attracting ants.

[At the end, Slappy had rid herself of Boone]

Skippy: What do you want to do tonight, Aunt Slappy?

Slappy: How about a little music? hit it, boys.

Dover Boys:[Singing] Slappy Squirrel is a grand old dame. Yes, a old dame. She whipped Daniel Boone and now she pays us to sing about her fame.

Colin: Okay, so one time Randy Beaman was eating corn flakes, only they weren't corn flakes, they were his uncle's scab collection. 'Kay, bye.

Colin: Okay, so one time Randy Beaman's cat ate this fish from the fish tank, but the fish was a piranha, and it lived inside the cat forever, and the cat became... Piranha Cat. 'Kay, bye.

Colin: Okay, one time, Randy Beaman's mom's best friend, whose name is Linda, wanted to get a tan more than anything. So she went to a tanning salon and she stayed in too long and she boiled her guts. 'Kay, bye.

Colin: Okay, one time Randy Beaman woke up in the middle of the night and he saw Dracula but he thought it was just his clothes hanging in his closet, then he turned on the light and it really was Dracula. 'Kay, bye.

Colin: One time Randy Beaman ate pop rocks and drank a soda at the same time and his head exploded! 'Kay, bye.

Some people say I'm out of whack
You can't miss our wild new show
With my cute sis, and my bro
We all act like we're insane
Along with Pinky and The Brain
Bobby, Squit
and Pesto
Slappy Squirrel
Hip Hippos
Rita, Runt
Chicken Boo
Mindy too
We dance and sing and do all kinds of crazy things
Oh we're the amazing Animaniacs
We'll split your sides in half
We are the most exciting ever
So watch us cause you'll love us
We'll be on your TV
Weekday afternoons (or "Coming up next") right here on Fox.

[Yakko sits next to Dot on her bed, her snuggling close to him, as he tells her the story of her birth.]

Yakko: Okay. Once upon a time, a brave knight married a beautiful princess, and they had two sons.

Dot: But they wanted a daughter, too.

Yakko: Right. So, they planted a garden all over the kingdom, and on the first day of spring, every flower in that garden bloomed. And out of the prettiest flower came...

Dot: Me!

Yakko: Yep!

[Dot snuggles closer as Yakko hugs her and smiles. Wakko is standing in her bedroom's doorway looking at her in worry of her health, but they don't notice. Yakko continues with the story as Wakko closes the curtains and looks away sadly.]:

Yakko: And so, the knight and his bride, Mom and Dad, took you home. And every night at bed-time, they'd come in and say... [rubs noses with Dot] "Who's the cutest girl?" And you'd say...

Dot: I am!

Yakko: And they'd asked... [rubs noses] "How did you ever get so cute?" And you'd say...

Dot: I was born that way!

Yakko: And they'd say... [pokes her nose] "Tell us your name, young lady!" And you'd say...