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The 2013 Emmy Nominations

It’s that time again: A mid-July day upon which I wake up with a sense of gnawing dread that I can’t quite put my finger on, only to realize somewhere in the middle of my second cup of coffee that, OH, RIGHT, THE EMMY NOMINATIONS. SIGH.

Without further ado, here are your 2013 Primetime Emmy nominees — or at least your 2013 Primetime Emmy nominees that you actually care about — with my best guesses as to who will win, my personal feelings on who should win, and my best efforts to try to remember who got dissed.

Outstanding Variety Series

The Colbert Report

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Real Time With Bill Maher

Saturday Night Live

Ah, the battle of late night. I don’t really have a dog in this fight, as I love pretty much everyone in this category with the exception of Real Time, which I only barely tolerate. And SNL, with whom I have a love-hate relationship. As for the other talk shows, I will be happy if any of them win, honestly.

Who Will Win:The Daily Show With Jon StewartWho Should Win: Late Night With Jimmy Fallon* Who Was Snubbed: Watch What Happens Live

*But I mean, not really? The Daily Show totally deserves to win for the 97th time or whatever? However, if we were to give it to someone new, for laughs, Fallon has really done great things with his show is what I’m getting at with this.

Outstanding Variety Special

The Kennedy Center Honors

Louis C.K.: Oh My God

Mel Brooks Strikes Back! With Mel Brooks And Alan Yentob

Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update, Thursday (Part One)

12-12-12: The Concert For Sandy Relief

This is such a weird category. What a weird category! How am I supposed to compare a stand-up comedy special to a concert to raise money for hurricane victims to a 30-minute extension of “Weekend Update”? How does that even work?

Who Will Win: Who even knows, probably one of the more sentimental ones. Mel Brooks, maybe? Sandy Relief? Probably Sandy Relief.Who Should Win: Louis C.K.: Oh My GodWho Was Snubbed: I don’t even know what qualifies to be in this category, so who knows.

Outstanding Special Class Programs

The 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards

London 2012 Olympic Games Opening Ceremony

The Oscars

Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Carousel (Live From Lincoln Center)

66th Annual Tony Awards

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Who cares. At least the Emmys didn’t nominate themselves for an Emmy which might have collapsed Hollywood onto itself.

Who Will Win: Don’t care.Who Should Win: Don’t care.Who Was Snubbed: Don’t care.

Outstanding Animated Program

Bob’s Burgers

Kung Fu Panda: Legends Of Awesomeness: Enter The Dragon

Regular Show: The Christmas Special

The Simpsons: Treehouse Of Horror XXIII

South Park

Eat it, Seth MacFarlane, you’re the worst.

Who Will Win:The SimpsonsWho Should Win: Bob’s BurgersWho Was Snubbed: Not Seth MacFarlane, because he’s the worst.

Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Reality-Competition Program

Ryan Seacrest as Host, American Idol

Betty White as Host, Betty White’s Off Their Rockers

Tom Bergeron as Host, Dancing With The Stars

Heidi Klum as Host, Tim Gunn as Host, Project Runway

Cat Deeley as Host, So You Think You Can Dance

Anthony Bourdain as Host, The Taste

True story: I was baffled for a solid two, three minutes, trying to figure out 1. why they were saying Anthony Bourdain was a host of that dumb daytime cooking show on ABC when he clearly is not, and 2. why a daytime television show managed to be nominated in the primetime Emmys. It took me an embarrassingly long time to remember that The Taste was a cooking competition that actually happened in prime time this past spring — not even all that long ago! — and maybe I’m not that great at my job. But maybe also, Anthony Bourdain, who I generally like, shouldn’t be nominated for an Emmy in this category if no one can remember his show?

In other news, Phil Keoghan, and Jeff Probst weren’t nominated and I could not care less.

Who Will Win: Tom BergeronWho Should Win: It’s a tie!Tim Gunn & Cat Deeley, but not Heidi Klum, because no.Who Was Snubbed: RuPaul for RuPaul’s Drag Race

Outstanding Reality Program

Antiques Roadshow

Deadliest Catch

Diners, Drive-Ins And Dives

MythBusters

Shark Tank

Undercover Boss

Listen. Listen to me. I understand that the Emmys are all about awarding excellence in broadcasting, and that’s why something like Toddlers & Tiaras or any of the Real Housewives or Here Comes Honey Boo Boo will never, ever, ever be nominated, even though all of those shows are far more interesting — and far more believable — than Undercover Boss. I’ve made my peace with that. But you can not pretend to be about excellence in broadcasting and nominate live action Cheesy Blasters Meat Cat, Guy Fieri, and his stupid show wherein he travels around America and shoves the greasiest piles of sad he can find into his frosted tipped fat face. I REJECT THIS. THE WHOLE THING IS A SHAM.

Who Will Win:Antiques RoadshowWho Should Win: MythBustersWho Was Snubbed: Everything and anything that airs on Bravo and TLC, and also probably Catfish because that’s just good watchin’.

Outstanding Reality – Competition Program

The Amazing Race

Dancing With The Stars

Project Runway

So You Think You Can Dance

Top Chef

The Voice

Aside from RuPaul’s Drag Race — which is genuinely a great reality competition: funny, sassy, sometimes heartfelt; please watch it sometime if you haven’t yet — I couldn’t think of a quality reality show that was left off of this list. Survivor, I suppose, but it’s rather long in the tooth, and aside from the roughly 10 million people who tune in each week, who even watches it anymore? Masterchef is actually a pretty decent cooking competition that I personally enjoy vastly more than Dancing with the Stars, but 70-year-old members of the Academy need a show on the list that they recognize. American Idol, The X Factor and America’s Got Talent each failed to get a nod, but you can’t convince me that any of those shows are actually better than any of the actual nominees. So here we are.

Who Will Win:The Amazing RaceWho Should Win: So You Think You Can DanceWho Was Snubbed: RuPaul’s Drag Race

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie

James Cromwell as Dr. Arthur Arden, American Horror Story: Asylum

Zachary Quinto as Dr. Oliver Thredson, American Horror Story: Asylum

Scott Bakula as Bob Black, Behind The Candelabra

John Benjamin Hickey as Sean, The Big C: Hereafter

Peter Mullan as Matt, Top Of The Lake

Onto the Miniseries or Movie category which used to be a big snore until Ryan Murphy got crafty and called what is clearly a drama a “miniseries,” shaking things up in Emmyville. Interestingly, as a result of this strategy, American Horror Story: Asylum, which I watched and wrote about in excruciating detail, is the leader in Emmy nods this year with 17. 17! It was not that good, y’all! Ryan Murphy has totally punked you, Emmys!

As for this category specifically: eh? I mean, there are only so many miniseries or movies out there to choose from, and in those, only so many memorable supporting actor roles. And I’d argue that Scott Bakula was not one of those. In contrast, Cromwell was very memorable, but not in the best of ways. I’m pleased they put the last 4 episodes of The Big C in this category if only so that John Benjamin Hickey, a wildly underrated actor, would finally be acknowledged for his fantastic work. And I will grant that Zachary Quinto was great fun — and TERRIFYING — as Bloody Face on American Horror Story, so I won’t be disappointed if he wins. As for Peter Mullan, I have no idea who that is, don’t care.

Who Will Win: Maybe Zachary Quinto!Who Should Win: John Benjamin HickeyWho Was Snubbed: Rob Lowe for Behind the Candelabra

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Sarah Paulson as Lana Winters, American Horror Story: Asylum

Imelda Staunton as Alma Hitchcock, The Girl

Ellen Burstyn as Margaret Barrish Worthington, Political Animals

Charlotte Rampling as Sally Gilmartin, Restless

Alfre Woodard as Ouiser, Steel Magnolias

How Sarah Paulson is in the Supporting Actress category is beyond me. If Behind the Candelabra can have two nominees for Lead Actor, American Horror Story can have two nominees for Lead Actress, right? Once again, Emmys, Ryan Murphy is PLAYING YOU FOR A FOOL.

Who Will Win: Alfre WoodardWho Should Win: Sarah Paulson, but for Lead ActressWho Was Snubbed: Debbie Reynolds for Behind the Candelabra

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Michael Douglas as Liberace, Behind The Candelabra

Matt Damon as Scott Thorson, Behind The Candelabra

Toby Jones as Alfred Hitchcock, The Girl

Benedict Cumberbatch as Christopher Tietjens, Parade’s End

Al Pacino as Phil Spector, Phil Spector

I’ll grant you, Phil Spector should win all of the Emmys for Outstanding Wigs Hairstyling in a Miniseries or Movie. But that does not mean Al Pacino should win, or even be acknowledged for his performance of being Al Pacino but in a series of different wigs in Phil Spector. This category is really a toss-up between the two Candelabra actors, but I’m giving it to Michael Douglas for so perfectly embodying Liberace that his performance transcended what could have easily slipped into a campy, outrageous caricature, and became something really wonderful.

What to do with these nominees? The three people who watched Top of the Lake praised Elisabeth Moss’ performance; Sigourney Weaver and Helen Mirren have more acting talent — and respect in the business — than almost all the other actresses put together; and Laura Linney and Jessica Lange were both given characters with such melodramatic story lines that they would have had to have been Lindsey Lohan to not be acknowledged for their performances. This is a tough call all the way around, honestly.

This is a surprisingly tough category, especially since the obvious choice: Sharknado! won’t be eligible until next year.

Who Will Win:Behind The CandelabraWho Should Win:Behind The CandelabraWho Was Snubbed: The Big C

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series

Bob Newhart as Arthur Jeffries/Professor Proton, The Big Bang Theory

Nathan Lane as Pepper Saltzman, Modern Family

Bobby Cannavale as Dr. Mike Cruz, Nurse Jackie

Louis C.K. as Host, Saturday Night Live

Justin Timberlake as Host, Saturday Night Live

Will Forte as Paul, 30 Rock

I think it odd that Saturday Night Live is sometimes considered a Variety Series, and other times a Comedy Series: make up your mind, Emmys! That said, I’m totally cool with Louis C.K. and Justin Timberlake being nominated here, because those episodes were fantastic. Will Forte was wonderful in his recurring role on 30 Rock and I wish there was a sentimental Emmy we could give him. As for the other nominees: If I’ve said it once, I’ll SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS: Nurse Jackie is not a comedy; Nathan Lane is always and only playing Nathan Lane; and I refuse to acknowledge The Big Bang Theory, comedy legend or no comedy legend.

Who Will Win: Louis C.K.Who Should Win: Louis C.K.Who Was Snubbed: Ben Stiller for Arrested Development

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series

Molly Shannon as Eileen Foliente, Enlightened

Dot-Marie Jones as Shannon Beiste, Glee

Melissa Leo as Laurie, Louie

Melissa McCarthy as Host, Saturday Night Live

Kristen Wiig as Host, Saturday Night Live

Elaine Stritch as Colleen Donaghy, 30 Rock

Elaine Stritch 4eva.

Who Will Win: Elaine StritchWho Should Win: Elaine StritchWho Was Snubbed: No one because this Emmy belongs to Elaine Stritch

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

Adam Driver as Adam Sackler, Girls

Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Mitchell Pritchett, Modern Family

Ed O’Neill as Jay Pritchett, Modern Family

Ty Burrell as Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

Bill Hader as Various characters, Saturday Night Live

Tony Hale as Gary Walsh, Veep

And here’s where I get punchy. I have HAD IT with Modern Family taking up ALL OF THE NOMINATIONS. SAVE SOME FOR SOMEONE ELSE, YOU GUYS. Because the Modern Family dudes had to take up HALF OF THE NOMINATIONS, there was barely any room for anyone else which is NOT COOL. There are so many good sitcoms out there right now! So many! And so many great comedic actors on them! And none of them are getting any love because voters couldn’t decide between Phil and Mitchell! Ugh. I guess I should count my meager blessings that Cameron, Manny and Luke didn’t take the remaining three nominations.

I still don’t think that Nurse Jackie is a comedy series, but I like Merritt Weaver so much, I’ll overlook it this one time. Better yet, we can remove her from this category, and acknowledge her in the Guest Actress category as Schmidt’s ex-girlfriend on New Girl (Elaine Stritch still wins though, because obviously) and then everyone’s happy!

Hey! Arrested Development! Welcome to the party! Frankly, I think Arrested Development is woefully under-represented in the nominations, but I get that it wasn’t as beloved by all (And by “all” I mean those who gave up on it after the first three episodes. Seriously, you guys, finish the season, and then get back to me.). That, plus the fact that it was a Netflix series obviously worked against it, so I will take Bateman’s nomination with gratitude and not look a gift ostrich in the mouth.

Who Will Win: Jim Parsons (slight chance Alec Baldwin could take it)Who Should Win: Jason BatemanWho Was Snubbed: Look, I am just grateful Two and a Half Men wasn’t recognized, and I’m going to leave it at that.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

Laura Dern as Amy, Enlightened

Lena Dunham as Hannah Horvath, Girls

Edie Falco as Jackie Peyton, Nurse Jackie

Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope, Parks And Recreation

Tina Fey as Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Selina Meyer, Veep

I will never understand the Enlightened love, you guys. I just don’t get it. Also, once again, Nurse Jackie: NOT. A. COMEDY. YOU AND LAURA DERN ARE TAKING MINDY KALING’S AND ZOE DESCHANEL’S SPOTS SO I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.

Everyone else can stay.

Who Will Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus (although it very well could be Tina Fey)Who Should Win: Tina FeyWho Was Snubbed: Zoe Deschanel and Mindy Kaling, Carrie Brownstein

Outstanding Comedy Series

The Big Bang Theory

Girls

Louie

30 Rock

Veep

Wait, what? No Modern Family? Where’s Modern Family? How can we have an Emmys without Modern Family being nominated for Comedy Series? Has the world gone mad? Also, where’s The Office? What is happening here?

As for the shows nominated: GO AWAY THE BIG BANG THEORY. NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE; Girls, yes; 30 Rock, obviously; Veep, maybe the most deserving, honestly; Louie? I’m going to say something dangerous and unexpected here, but I don’t think it deserved being nominated this year! This season was a downer — even more of a downer than usual. And while it was a great show, it wasn’t exactly funny. What was consistently funny and fresh and moving? Parks and Recreation. Also New Girl. Also Arrested Development. Also The Mindy Project (although that one is sort of touch and go and I understand not giving it love).

Who Will Win:30 RockWho Should Win:30 Rock (maybe Veep)Who Was Snubbed: New Girl, Parks and Recreation, Arrested Development, The Office, Portlandia

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Drama Series

Nathan Lane as Clarke Hayden, The Good Wife

Michael J. Fox as Louis Canning, The Good Wife

Rupert Friend as Peter Quinn, Homeland

Robert Morse as Bertram Cooper, Mad Men

Harry Hamlin as Jim Cutler, Mad Men

Dan Bucatinsky as James Novack, Scandal

I have not very strong feelings about this category, to be honest, except to note that Harry Hamlin is wonderful.

Who Will Win: Probably Michael J. FoxWho Should Win: Harry HamlinWho Was Snubbed: James Wolk, Lennie James

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series

Margo Martindale as Claudia, The Americans

Diana Rigg as Olenna Tyrell, Game Of Thrones

Carrie Preston as Elsbeth Tascioni, The Good Wife

Linda Cardellini as Sylvia Rosen, Mad Men

Jane Fonda as Leona Lansing, The Newsroom

Joan Cusack as Sheila Jackson, Shameless

Now, this is a more interesting category, one about which I am torn. On the one hand, I loved Margo Martindale in The Americans. She was intense and scary and moving and believable. On the other hand, I loved loved LOVED Diana Rigg as The Thorn Queen. Linda Cardellini was surprising on Mad Men, but that’s not the same thing as being great. And Joan Cusack is always terrific on Shameless, though calling her a “Guest Actress” is a bit of a stretch since she is IN EVERY EPISODE.

Who Will Win: Jane FondaWho Should Win: Diana RiggWho Was Snubbed: Alison Brie

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

Bobby Cannavale as Gyp Rosetti, Boardwalk Empire

Jonathan Banks as Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad

Aaron Paul as Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad

Jim Carter as Mr. Carson, Downton Abbey

Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister, Game Of Thrones

Mandy Patinkin as Saul Berenson, Homeland

While I think Peter Dinklage should always win this for as long as he is nominated, I have to note that I am thrilled to see that Mandy Patinkin was finally acknowledged for his tremendous turn on Homeland. While Aaron Paul and Jim Carter are both wonderful in their respective roles, and Bobby Cannavale is great in every thing he does, I truly believe this will be Patinkin and Dinklage’s fight.

Who Will Win: Mandy PatinkinWho Should Win: Peter DinklageWho Was Snubbed: John Noble for the thousandth freaking time, Mads Mikkelsen, David Morrissey, Vincent Kartheiser, Kevin Rahm, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, BUT NOT YOU, DAN STEVENS, I’M STILL MAD AT YOU.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

Anna Gunn as Skyler White, Breaking Bad

Maggie Smith as Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham, Downton Abbey

Emilia Clarke as Daenerys Targaryen, Game Of Thrones

Christine Baranski as Diane Lockhart, The Good Wife

Morena Baccarin as Jessica Brody, Homeland

Christina Hendricks as Joan Harris, Mad Men

Look. It’s not that Emilia Clark isn’t good in Game of Thrones. She is. And her character had quite a season. However, there are so many other, better actresses on the show that receive no love, and I’m not cool with that. Everyone else nominated is fine, I guess. I’m more upset over who wasn’t nominated than who was.

Hard to argue with this list. Andrew Lincoln deserved to be mentioned, and Timothy Olyphant continues to get no love. Matthew Rhys deserves to be nominated for being able to pull off so many bad wigs on The Americans. As for the actual nominees, I hate hate hate hate hate The Newsroom with the white hot heat of a thousand suns, but Jeff Daniels is a good actor working with some TERRIBLE dialogue, and everyone else is terrific, so.

Again, this is a solid list, and I have few complaints with it. There are some glaring omissions, but that’s mostly because there are only 6 spots. I don’t know that anyone on this list deserves to be excluded. As to who will win, this is a tough call. Kerry Washington is a crowd pleaser; Connie Britton is genius at everything she ever does; but Vera Farmiga is a dark horse from a dark series. She might just sneak up on the rest.

Again, I know there are some out there complaining about who was snubbed this year, but I would suggest that this list of nominees is actually a reflection of just what a wonderful time in scripted television it is, right at this very moment. I will admit that I have not yet watched House of Cards, but as for the rest of the series listed, there is not one that I would remove from this list. Are there other wonderful shows out there? Yes! Of course! Let’s count them! The Walking Dead, Parenthood, The Good Wife, Justified, Fringe, Sons of Anarchy, The Americans, Shameless, Hannibal, The Following, Person of Interest, Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, Bates Motel. It’s a long list! But I don’t know that I would replace any one of those series with any of these nominated series. Would you?

Who Will Win:Breaking Bad — although there’s a strong chance House of Cards might take this one for being novelWho Should Win:Game of ThronesWho Was Snubbed: The Walking Dead, Parenthood, The Good Wife, Justified, Fringe, Sons of Anarchy, The Americans, Shameless, Hannibal, The Following, Person of Interest, Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, Bates Motel

Note: This is a seattlepi.com reader blog. It is not written or edited by the P-I. The authors are solely responsible for content. E-mail us at newmedia@seattlepi.com if you consider a post inappropriate.