Convo: Being the Law

Snotty: Have you had to be a dick lawyer yet? I imagine you would, with that guy.

Esq: Not really. I know [the defendants] aren’t going to pay and are jerking me around. It’s up to me to say, “You get to move out on a day of your choosing, or I’m bringing the sheriff to your door, and he will kick it in.”

Snotty: Cool, really?

Esq: Well, this person is a trespasser – a squatter.

Snotty: Do you get to go? Like, do you actually go with the sheriff?

Esq: I don’t have to —

Snotty: –but can you? You should totally go, that would be awesome! You could stand on the lawn with your trenchcoat blowing behind you in the wind, with the sheriff on one side and papers held out in front of you —

Esq: –and I’d say, “THIS IS THE LAW.”

Snotty: Yes!

Esq: And they’d have to use a battering ram to break in the door —

Snotty: –and you’d be standing on it like a pirate while it swings back and forth!

Esq: That would be pretty awesome.

Snotty: You’re so lucky. It must be fun being a lawyer.

Esq: Yeah, it’s fun kicking people out of their homes in the middle of winter.