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Sunday, June 28, 2009

So yeah, when I should have been in college at the socially-deemed 'appropriate' age I was busy being in a horrid marriage with a soul-sucking jerk.

Now, at age thirty-one (it hurts a little less every time I say it aloud, forgive me) I will be starting school this Fall. Yawn, academia. Now- on to the perks!

Student loans! Yes, I do have to take out one, just a small one. Just this once. I can see how an eighteen year old offered these loans could get into suffocating debt, quickstyle. So tempting. At my age I have the advantage of seeing all my peers still completely inundated in student loans from a decade ago so I can learn from their mistakes. Take that, showoffs!

The sleek and powerful MacBook Pro I am going to buy using aforementioned student loans. It's completely necessary, for school work you know. The fact that Apple is offering students a FREE! (after mail-in rebate) iPod Touch with the purchase of a Mac, well that is just a bonus isn't it?

When the younger students want someone to buy a keg they'll come grovelling to me. Plus, I can probably get a senior discount and pocket the difference! Brilliant. The student loan will be paid back before you know it.

See? Bullet-proof. However, the first wisenheimer that makes a Strangers With Candy joke at my expense is getting a Viking send-off. If you know what I mean.

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comments:

I don't know what you mean. I'm going to have to google this. And I think I want my girls to look like this when they start school this summer. I'd find great comfort. They probably wouldn't like it though. Too bad I'm not rich. I could send them to boarding school. But then that would be wrong I guess, taking away there social interaction like that. Dammit!

Hmm, are you including me in that group of show-offs that is still paying off student loans, what is it now? Oh yeah, eight years after graduation? :) Yee-haw! I went to a private school! Smart move. ;) I only owe about $10,000 now though. So I only feel marginally asthmatic, not suffocated (then again, I do have asthma still-- I told you I wasn't wheezing and coughing just to get on your nerves!)