When Advise Becomes Abuse

We make mistakes, as human beings, and must be corrected, by human beings.However, the way some people contribute to correcting the offender makesCORRECTION look insulting.

Correction should be attached with decorum. It is preferable in the form ofENCOURAGEMENT. No bitterness, at all.

The way some Reforms are carried out for the improvement of the society isthe best way to understanding CORRECTION. CORRECTION is meant to correctabuse, and not abuse becoming CORRECTION.

Some folks do not want their friends to correct them. And when the friendsdo, they use ABUSE in place of correcting the friends. We must be open toaccepting CORRECTION, because any wrong that silent is used as the bestoption makes abuse the order of the day.

Notwithstanding, whereas we need CORRECTION, it is a global norm that thereis always the leader and the follower. Let the individual have his or heropinion. That accepted! But, let the presumed follower look-up to theleader. Anything contrary to this is an insult to the Leader, and notCORRECTION:

It is expected in the Igbo area where I come from in Nigeria that wivesshould follow their husbands, while the latter lead.

Without any quarrel, I heard the wife shouting above her voice, at theslight correction of the husband on something that she failed to do.

Just to know if one’s wife is entitled to verbally tell the husband, “Goand learn manners, do you hear me?” Though, a friend said that it dependson how she bent her mouth while saying it.

The friend further added that if she says it with a smile, she may get ahug and some bedroom actions, but if she says it with such disdain, thenshe probably would get the other side of the man.

Yes! Disdain was the motion and action, and the man is now learning theMANNERS in total isolation from his once jovial way, and the woman ispleading.

In another vein, another friend added that a cutting word is worse than abowstring, a cut may heal, but the cut of the tongue does not. “He who isbeing carried does not realize how far the town is.” Good habits, likeflossing regularly, are usually pretty hard to develop. Bad habits seem tojust appear or have been programmed into our brain by some sinister forcethat comes in our sleep and encodes even when folks are looking.

While in affirmative with this, another friend also added that leaders mustsee themselves as servants and followers, tomorrow leaders. The act ofchecks and balances must be by mutual understanding bearing in mind thatwithout the people there is no leader, and without a leader there will bechaos.