Also: these events provide godless ordinary people with their regular daily requirements of “makeshift memorials” and other neurotic, self-centered, morbid pseudo-religiosity, and jeepers, we wouldn’t want to do away with that.

The same parents who insist that their precious spawn wear helmets to go to the bathroom and steer miles away from the nearest peanut, think nothing of pushing their children to go to college, where their well-protected brains will be duly washed — if their blood isn’t first (off the floor, that is.)