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Saturday, March 30, 2013

Every time we take Brecken somewhere someone asks how old he is. I immediately tell them how many days old he is. They usually get a sweet look on their face as they coo and tilt their head, I suppose, hoping I'll lift the carseat cover, which I rarely do.

Today he is two weeks old. Soon I won't count how old he is by days. It will turn into weeks, which will turn into months. It is so bittersweet. He's such a little sack of flour right now that just melts into my body when I hold him. He sleeps pretty much constantly which makes him the easiest baby I've ever seen. He didn't cry a single time yesterday. I suppose that is because I'm right there whenever he needs something, but still, not a peep?!

He's my little angel. When someone visits I can't help but get close to the person holding him and also stroke his hair. Yesterday we visited Laura and she and I were practically on top of each other on her couch both soaking in the baby love. I started to say how much I love him and got choked up. Because that's how much I love him. My love for him is so deep it's difficult to put into words.

I've been trying to live in the moment with him. Taking time each day to stare into his eyes and think about nothing but him. Taking time to get comfortable before I start nursing him so he and I can stay there as long as needed. Taking time holding his body close while he sleeps and watching his lips and eyes move ever so gently. Taking time to grab my phone and photograph him sleeping over and over and over.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

For a couple days now I've been keeping a close eye on Brecken's belly button. It's gotten greenish with some discharge and it even started smelling yesterday. I made an appointment for today last night at 8:50pm. We couldn't get in with our own pediatrician but I just didn't want to wait another day in case it was infected. Christian and I took him in at 11:20 today only to be surprised by our usual pediatrician. He saw Brecken's name listed and switched things around so he could be the one who saw him. That made my day.

It turned out there they left too much cord when they clipped it and it was beginning to rot. How disgusting is that??!! He cut most of it off and cauterized the rest of it. Poor Christian had his hands over his eyes saying over and over, "Does that hurt him?" He proceeded to do the two week check up so I don't have to go back on Tuesday. Infants are supposed to gain an ounce a day. In the six days it's been since we were there Brecken has gained 10 ounces which puts him at 8 pounds 14 ounces. The doctor looked right at me and said, "Here's your proof he's a healthy growing baby." It made me so happy. Finally (knock on wood) things seem to be going our way.

After the appointment Victoria had a friend's birthday party at the Skating Rink. I brought all three of them so Christian could get some energy out too at Open Skating and I kept Brecken concealed for 99.99% of it. Mark met us there so I could take Christian and Brecken home so we wouldn't have to stay for the whole three hours.

Mark's brother Johnny stopped for a visit and got to feed Brecken a full four ounces from a bottle.

Then we had a quick dinner and headed off to swim lessons. Mark and I divided and conquered again. I took Christian and Brecken and Mark met us for Victoria's lesson and then we left and I had C in bed before they even got home.

Brecken slept through, pretty much, the entire day, except when I woke him every three hours to eat. I have a feeling I'm going to pay for the tomorrow.

A few weeks ago we received the EOB for Christian's tonsillectomy. We paid $61 and insurance covered nearly $11,000 for his outpatient procedure at Children's. I was surprised it was that expensive since we ended up not even staying the night.

So now I'm wondering: How much will Brecken's stay cost? We get calls daily regarding his ambulance ride, his stay in the NICU and questions about our insurance. He was born at Regions, then transported by a special ambulance to Children's, then a surgery, then two days in the NICU.

I fell asleep around 9ish on the couch tonight. Mark took over feedings and even brought Brecken into the bedroom with him. I slept soundly for over four hours. I feel like a million bucks. You don't realize how important sleep is, until you aren't getting enough. Tonight marks the one week mark that Brecken has been home. Now when I look at him I wonder what I did without him. I guess the answer is: sleep.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Mark went back to work today so I was home along with all three kids for the first time. I didn't sleep much last night but luckily our day went very smoothly. Brecken ate often this morning and not long after settled in for a three hour nap. The Big Kids were very willing to help me pick up and organize toys in the basement. They played so nicely together it made the whole day peaceful. Whenever I had to feed the baby they went and played together or one or both would cuddle up to the side of me and watch as I fed him - all the while talking about how cute his is. We did venture out to Walmart. I prepped the kids the whole way there about being on their best behavior and how I really need them to be role models. Once I lifted the carseat into the cart it was a breeze. So far we're blessed that Brecken sleeps whenever moving. So in the car or cart he peacefully sleeps making everything much easier.

Therese took the Big Kids to dinner and games at the mall so Mark, Brecken and I went out to dinner. By that time I was so tired I just wanted to eat and get home to sleep. Overall, it was a wonderful day!

Last night I was up a lot. More up than down. We took Brecken to Fuddruckers for lunch and we were able to keep his carseat covered the entire time because he was sleeping. He slept most of the day. Which meant he wanted me to cuddle him and stare into his gorgeous eyes, even if I was nodding off. Christian woke in the middle of the night with a stuffy nose, Victoria ended up on the couch due to "not being able to fall asleep" even though she was sleeping 7:30pm.

This is the first morning I actually feel like, "Whoa! I have a newborn!" Unfortunately, Mark goes back to work today and the kids are on Spring Break. So it's me and my three children for the first time ever.

Luckily I tested out a bit of caffeine yesterday for the first time in nine months. I think I'm going to need it today!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

I love to get our kids' pictures taken. The thought of Brecken arriving before Easter made me giddy. I knew we'd wait to get Victoria and Christian's picture until the day before Easter just waiting for his arrival. Luckily he made it here in plenty of time. We ventured out to the mall yesterday for the first time as a family of five. As we stood there watching the Easter Bunny hold Brecken, I had a flash back to last year. Victoria looked huge and we were trying for a baby and I remember thinking, "I hope there's a baby on that Bunny's lap next year." Which made yesterday so extra special. (Until a parent started yelling, Hey Mrs. Humphrey!!" over and over from the second floor)