History,
shaped by Man’s desire and struggle for power, is a clear indication
of the destruction and misery brought about by such domination. This kind
of lust is rarely mentioned, a destructive lust crushing many human lives,
and sometimes whole nations too. Often we hear the powerful people of this
earth (be they religious or political), pronounce judgment or condemnation
towards ‘others’, usually groups already marginalized by society
itself. Often, such condemnations bring despair to those judged. Judgment
always clouds the love and mercy of the Living God.

The
Bishop of Memphis, Bishop J. Terry Steib, S.V.D. in his letter ‘Church
is home to all people of God’ says: ‘a brief look at history from
slavery to the "march of tears" of our Native American sisters and
brothers to the grape strikes in California reminds us that God's work is
always hampered when human beings are afraid of differences in each other’.
Later, he goes on to say: ‘The message of Jesus is clear: "Love
one another as I have loved you." In my frequent meetings with gay and
lesbian Catholics, I have often told them that God does not withhold love
from any of us and I believe that wholeheartedly. God's love is unconditional
and that is the gift God offers us in Christ Jesus: the gift of loving each
other with that same Godly and unconditional love.’

Over
these past few decades, society has witnessed a tremendous shift. Gay men
and women are more visible in society, our rights recognized and protected
by legislation. Recently, more countries are introducing civil laws recognizing
marriage between gay couples too. Women’s rights for equality became
the norm, at least from a legislative point of view. So many other rights
and laws, protecting and bringing to the same level marginalized groups previously
outcast, ignored or downtrodden without any second thoughts. Are these shifts
throwing some straight white men in crisis? Is masculinity in crisis? Are
some heterosexual white men in crisis, since Manhood is not automatically
bringing the dominance and power within the social, political and religious
realms anymore, as in the ‘good old days’? Often it appears that
these melancholic voices are crying out, claiming how good it used to be!
One can hear these voices in our country too! It is obvious that some want
to cling and bring to life an old idea of masculinity expressed in a system
of an old ‘macho-ness’, an old patriarchal structure to order,
religion and society. It is sad to note that in promoting such old traditional
religious or political beliefs there is a forgetfulness of the bloodstains
that such beliefs carry. The bloodstains left after domination, control and
power have been way too many.

Unfortunately,
throughout history, men have misused their masculine power, in both the religious
and political realms; many became arrogant in their powerful roles, abused
and harmed individuals, groups and whole nations. Such abuse often brings
about revolutions, as happened in many countries throughout history. Notwithstanding
all this, do we want to do away with straight white men? Do we want to do
away with masculinity and what I like to refer to as ‘macho-ness’?
I do hope not!

Probably,
most of you reading this article will think that this is another article against
patriarchy! This is not the point I would like to make. At this stage, I would
like to take a different route. May I dare propose: Let us embrace macho-ness
and let us celebrate masculinity, masculine power, dominance, and patriarchy!
However, please let us embrace masculinity and macho-ness that are not abusive,
destructively domineering or overpowering.

If
macho-ness is the result of man’s insecurity or need to prove one’s
own masculinity then, please, no! We do not need more of that. I believe that
today’s society needs a macho-ness that stems out of real masculine
strength and power- a macho-ness that defends the weak, tends a hand to those
in need, and shows its strength in confronting the powerful and not the weak.

I hope that today’s ‘masculine’ men live up to their masculinity
in defending those who are in need of protection rather than oppressing them.
I pray that ‘masculine’ men do not oppress or exploit the weak
as a proof of their masculinity for their own sake and that of their friends.

As a Catholic person, my God and Lord is Jesus the Nazarene – A Man
who fascinates me over and over again. At this point I ask myself: was Jesus
Masculine? Did he express His masculine power and dominance? Got to this point,
I would like use the story of the woman caught in the act of adultery as a
clear example. This ‘little’ woman was dragged in front of Him
for judgment (possibly naked), caught in the very act of adultery to be eventually
stoned to death.

Now,
can you take a glimpse of the ‘lustful macho-ness’ present in
this scene, thousands of years ago? Can you see the masculine destructive
power bonding men together in the very act of ‘justified’ murder?
Now, if Jesus was some insecure man in need of proving His own masculinity
to fellow men, He surely would have joined the mob, passed His judgment in
an ostentatious tone and stoned the woman to death. The woman would be dead–
who was she anyway? No one gave her much importance, and was probably regarded
as insignificant and superfluous by her community anyway! Her death would
have only served to bond the men in their macho-ness, displays of power and
approval towards each other’s judgment.

A
destructive macho-ness demands more and more murders, a masculinity craving
incessant approval and proof. However, how did Jesus behave? Jesus, the real
Man, the One who has real strength and masculine power steps out of this trap.
He confronts all the men present. He steps out to protect the adulterous woman;
he gives her importance, a person most probably abused throughout her whole
life by this kind of machismo. He fearlessly confronts the weak-powerful men
and protects this little woman. Now I believe, this is what real masculine
power is all about, a power worth reflecting upon, to long for, desire and
celebrate. This is masculine strength stemming out of love!

The
world is so hungry for this strong love. How often do we find ourselves caught
in the trap of ‘doing the right thing’ but in the wrong sprit!
Maybe out of our own neediness for approval and acceptance and not out of
the spirit of love! When this happens it all goes haywire!

Sometimes
we might find ourselves impressed by people claiming to be religious and wanting
to defend faith, nation and values… ooh very macho! What kind of macho-ness
are we talking about here? In what spirit are these people preaching? Is it
some personal crisis of masculinity that demands the oppression and abuse
of marginalized groups as a proof? I feel that we should rather be talking
about a strength stemming out of love: The love of God for all of His children,
all equal in His eyes!

If
the result of ‘religious’ talk is greater love towards others,
especially towards those hated by society, then the preacher is someone who
is worshipping the living-God. On the other hand, if religious beliefs are
leading someone to propagate sentiments of hatred, lusting for power and instigating
the desire for the oppression of others or their destruction, then something
is indeed very wrong here. Are these words coming out of a spirit of a fake
religiosity, an idolatrous worship? Maybe a worship of the idolized self,
be it individual or national?

Macho-ness
as a response to a weak masculinity, hiding behind religious beliefs; a space
where only the strong can survive. A mentality that may nicely fit lizards
but I hope humanity is capable of much more than that. May we discover a Christianity
that listens more to the voice of our Lord, the Living God in the silence
of our hearts. May we participate within a Roman Catholicism that celebrates
the life-giving Jesus Christ and not promote a neurotic religiosity that propagates
fear, judgment, condemnation and oppression!

Jesus
to Sr. Faustina says: ‘I perform works of mercy in every soul. The greater
the sinner, the greater the right he has to my mercy. My mercy is confirmed
in every work of My hands. He who trusts in My mercy will not perish, for
all his affairs are Mine, and his enemies will be shattered at the base of
My footstool.’ I love reading and hearing these words of mercy, His
words of mercy, His life-giving words! Where is the judgment here?

The
shepherd says: I pity the one who draws herself back from my love,
and does not seek the joy of my presence,
though my heart is an open wound with love for her.
- St. John of the Cross