15 peak moments of primary school

1. Wet play

We might not like the rain now, but back in the 90s it was like a gift from God. Wet play was announced, the board games came out, and we could kiss goodbye to running around in the freezing fucking cold for an un-enjoyable 20 minutes at break.

2. Supply teachers

Sure, I'll happily copy out of a textbook all day and throw paper aeroplanes containing secret love letters in the direction of my crush.

3. Getting cast as Mary in the Nativity

Don't lie and say you weren't the smuggest kid on the block when your teachers finally confirmed what you'd already suspected: you were angelic, responsible and talented enough to play the lead role in the Christmas production. Even though she barely even says two words.

4. Last day of term

Because FILMS. And PARTY RINGS. And NO SCHOOL TOMORROW. Those were the days.

6. Finding out your teacher's first name

And then secretly whispering it to all your friends as if it was some kind of swear word. Somehow their names never seemed to suit them, though.

7. Non-uniform day

Also known as mufti day to some. This was GREAT because it meant you didn't get agg from your parents about not changing out of your school uniform when you came home from school and headed straight for the sofa. Give it a rest, mum and dad, Miami 7's just started on CBBC and I can't hear it through all your moaning.

8. The first day of a new school year

In you'd trot, with your shiny new pencil case filled with WH Smith's finest stationery; your brand spanking new Clarks shoes squeaking as you went. This was going to be your year.

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9. School discos

FINALLY, this was your chance to wear the glittery jeans and zebra-print top your mum got you for Christmas but always felt too dressy for a weekend.

10. Seeing your teachers out of school

This was actually a complete headfuck because you'd never really considered the fact they might be real people with real lives outside of the classroom.

11. Reaching the end of the Biff, Chip and Kipper books

And being able to choose whichever story you wanted from the book corner. BOOM.

12. Parachute games

The kind of PE lessons where you could sit on the floor and mess around with a massive great brightly coloured rag were the best kind of PE lessons.

13. Singing songs in assembly

And shouting the rude bits extra loud. "I was cold, I was NAKED, were you there, were you there?" *sniggers*

14. Conker season

A perfectly valid excuse to lob hard objects at the heads of the classmates you hated. Until they brought in those bloody rules where you weren't allowed conker fights without wearing science goggles.

15. Getting to year 6 and bragging to anyone who'd listen being 'top of the school'

Your teacher would remind you to be humble about this new status; you were going to go to senior school next year and be at the bottom all over again, after all. But you didn't care; year 6 meant you got to sit on benches during assembly and you wouldn't change it for the world.

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