I don't really like the word blog, but it seems pointless to fight it, Zis is a blog.
If you want to know more about an Algerian girl who lives in London and struggles with thoughts that are beyond the remits of her understanding, stories of society and social climbers of love and deception and of a status of seemingly eternal singlehood, then you are in the right place...

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

Going back to the relationSHITS blog...I have news, some of you might say: as expected!

I have ended the pseudo-relationship I had with him last night. I feel somewhat sad but relieved. No longer have to worry about contact or lack of.

His argument was quite clear – we have to wait until we meet in the flesh to be able to decide whether we can start something together. He is so obviously worried about physical contact; his exact words I believe were “what if you won’t even feel like kissing me, what if you won’t even fancy me, I just hope you won’t get any nasty surprises”

My argument went something like “I don’t mind the distance and the waiting, but I cannot wait for someone who doesn’t encourage me to, what are you promising me or what are my guarantees for waiting for you? Anybody can meet someone else or anything could happen, you need to give me something to wait for, you ask me to be patient, yet you discourage my patience with your total absence and lack of contact or compassion, so I am taking my bets off the table and if fate has it we meet again – so be it”

This gentlemen holds precise and accurate information about my future (short term) plans, he knows where he can meet me and how. I am going to leave it to fate. If he shows up on the day of my arrival, then I will be happy to give it another try…I like this guy…I gave him up last night but I know in doing so I probably saved what we have. I feel there is some kind of cosmic reason for all of this…that or I am just hormonal and a bit erratic.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

...anytime of the day it's a completely normal thing to hear or say, post 8pm it's considered tragic...what on earth makes us feel this way?

I learnt that eating out alone isn’t tragic at all…unless you’re in a hip down town restaurant on Valentines Day or Christmas Eve …then feel free to be sad, because you are, if I was single I wouldn’t be caught dead in a restaurant dining alone.

Well I used to have a boyfriend, so the need for table for 1 never really occurred. Now that I am single, it still never really happens due to the large number of good friends I have around me and my networking schedule doesn’t allow me to dine alone, as there is always someone to see or something to meet about, So unless it’s in the daytime at Starbucks or in some joint grabbing a quick bite you wouldn’t hear me utter the words – Table for 1 please or no it’s just me!!. The fact that I feel it’s sad to go out to dinner to a nice restaurant on my own is really getting to me though hence this blog– I resent the feeling, why should I feel like that? What makes us feel like that? Is it people’s expectations? Judgment?

We all have the same dilemma, we don’t even realise it, we are all conditioned to pick up the phone and dial a friend’s number to accompany us to our favourite restaurant or to the theatre! Even when some of us could really do with some alone time, just because people will probably look and think “wow eating alone!” You see I don’t think people would necessarily find it sad, they’ll find it endearing and feel envious, wishing they could have the guts to do that themselves.

Well…I eat alone but mostly on holidays since I travel alone most of the time, I have no issue in getting a table for one, also knowing that you'll always have someone join you for a drink or desert especially when you're an attractive young lady – That’s right gentlemen I am. But I don’t always accept the company; sometimes I get on with writing my travel journals and report my daily adventures, in my–try-to-be witty but inevitably failed way.

It is a different story once you're back in town. I would feel rather weird going to dinner alone unless it's my local place where they'd know me and I'd feel like I am at home or if I was waiting for someone or doing some research or reading, it’s almost as though you need an armour and a book, a blackberry or newspaper provide just that.

Now the cinema is a different story. I respect people who go to the cinema alone, no no I go one more I encourage them to do so. What is wrong with that? I got a few sad looks from some people once because I was alone!! I laughed, I mean what’s wrong with going alone to a place where you need to keep quiet anyway…you wont be having a meaningful conversation and going solo is recommended for so many reasons, where do I start; you get to choose your seat without anybody interfering with their specific requirements of – the seat has to be 5 rows down and 10 up, with 7 seats one each side! The arm rest is mine on the left so you can have the one on the right but I also get to hog the one between us because you got to choose the movie. What a palaver it must be to be in a couple.
Go alone and enjoy the experience which you’ve paid for, you come out and there is still plenty of time to get together with your friends and talk about the movie.

It can be the same for theatres or museums. For me these experiences are to be cherished so best to go alone, obviously there are exceptions where it’s best to be accompanied for museums visits so you can bounce ideas off one another and share knowledge of paintings or pieces. And musicals or theatre, well just to dance together at the end when they make you all stand up! (cringeworthy really)

I have come to the conclusion over the years that sometimes yourself is the best company you can ever wish for and spending time with yourself is a very positive, cherished, enlightening and above all a relaxing experience so maybe we should all stop worrying and set ourselves the challenge of asking for a table for one after 8pm, maybe start off with just a coffee, second time maybe a quick salad and if you feel totally comfortable with it, go for the whole meal, after all I am the best person I can ever be with so why not have dinner with ME.