Tired of homogenized boring journalism? Yeah, me too - which is why I started writing all these blogs. Deep thinking of the news and how it affects our lives along with lots of humor posts and much more from my 24 blogs. A free to read online newspaper from Independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. Sit back, relax, get informed, cook a little and laugh a lot.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 23 Aug 2010

*** Check out the latest jokes from late night comics this week, along with some of the most current cartoons and LOL funniest videos from the likes of Colbert and Stewart.

From Denny: It seems every time you turn on the TV news there is a revolting story about how bed bugs have suddenly multiplied 500 percent, ravaging Americans all across the country. Bed bugs are chomping on people at home, at restaurants, at hotels and second hand furniture stores. That will teach you to do dumpster diving for free furniture.

Of course, those of us who live in the South are experts on pest control compared to our Northern cousins who are downright neophytes. The truth is we cheer our local pest control guys as much as our football teams. It's the key to our success of being bed bug free. Try it sometime. It really works.

Enjoy some of the funniest video clips of late from the crazy minds of Colbert and Stewart.

President Obama was in Hollywood for a star-studded fundraiser. They raised a million dollars and converted him to Scientology.

The president's security left traffic in Los Angeles paralyzed. It took some people two hours to get home from work, when it usually only takes 96 minutes.

I don't understand why the president has to drive. He could just flap his ears and fly anywhere.

After three weeks of jury deliberations, Rod Blagojevich was convicted yesterday on only one of the 24 counts against him. The one count he was convicted for? Transporting illegally silky hair across state lines.

He could get up to five years, though that's very unlikely. He'll probably do somewhere between Lindsay Lohan and Lil Wayne.

Can you imagine Rod Blagojevich in a prison jumpsuit? He'd look like a traffic cone with a Koosh ball on top.

President Obama had a 24-hour vacation on the Gulf Coast of Florida. Some Republicans are attacking him for not staying longer. They have a point. President Bush used to vacation for weeks at a time.

The president was there to promote tourism in the Gulf. He even jumped into the Gulf to prove it was safe. Unfortunately, he did a cannonball right onto a pelican.

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have reaching a custody agreement. Neither of them is allowed to say anything bad about the other parent or the other parent’s family in front of Tripp. So basically nobody is allowed to speak in front of Tripp.

Everyone is talking about Steven Slater, the flight attendant who cursed at a passenger, grabbed two beers, and slid down the escape slide, in what may be the best resignation ever. In fact he's so good at quitting, they're thinking about making him the next governor of Alaska.

It could be the first time in history that someone has been arrested for going down an inflatable slide.

The Mexican Supreme Court ruled that all Mexican states must recognize same-sex marriages registered in Mexico City. So men can now marry in Mexico, but they still can't honeymoon in Arizona.

From Jay Leno:

According to the Wall Street Journal, there is a growing movement among Democrats to replace Joe Biden as VP with Hillary Clinton in 2012. Do you realize that if that happens, for the first time Hillary will be directly under a president.

Fertility clinics in England say they are facing a nationwide donor shortage and are looking for international sperm donors. Finally a job Levi Johnston is actually qualified for.

According to U.S. and Iraqi commanders, if the U.S. pulls out of Iraq, their borders will be vulnerable and they won't be able to stop anyone from entering their country. Well, join the club.

President Obama may be willing to meet with Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. How does that make the governor of Arizona feel? The president won't meet with her, but a four-foot tall Holocaust-denier in a Members Only jacket? No problem.

The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.

The economy is so bad, the Obamas are thinking about taking their next vacation in the United States.

If anyone is looking for a job, there's an opening for a flight attendant at JetBlue. … Steven Slater, the famous JetBlue flight attendant, dropped so many F-bombs on that plane that he got a thumbs up from Joe Biden.

Those fallen sports heroes...

From Craig Ferguson:

In 'The Expendables,' Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger beat up Sylvester Stallone for convincing them to invest in Planet Hollywood.

Schwarzenegger was only in the movie for five minutes, but during that five minutes, he achieved more than in all his years as governor.

When Schwarzenegger heard the title 'The Expendables,' he thought it was in reference to California's teachers.

From Jimmy Fallon:

Al-Jazeera's English-speaking channel was nominated for an International Emmy. On the red carpet, Joan Rivers will be like, 'Who are you wearing? And why is it ticking?'

Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. The current mayor said Levi Johnston should get his high school diploma and keep his clothes on if he wants to win. And then Levi was like, 'Dude, he just told me how to win. What an idiot.'

*** And for more laughs this week be sure to visit Dennys Funny Quotes:

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About Me

Bored with homogenized journalism? Yeah, me too which is why I started all my blogs. Deep thinking of the news and how it affects our lives along with lots of humor posts and much more from my 24 blogs. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. Sit back, relax, get informed, cook a little and laugh a lot: http://dennysnews2.blogspot.com - where all the blogs link so you can peruse for your interests.

I'm a hybrid journalist-blogger which befuddles the publishing and journalism industries that are in serious flux these days - OK, the publishing houses have been melting down. What is not to understand? Time to rock on and catch up with the fast moving times. Hmmm... maybe I have Tiger or Dragon blood after all. :)

Social Issues Poet (SIP), Google searched as
"The Social Prophet," abstract artist, photographer, life philosophy and spirituality writer, great cook.

Writing eclectic interests on world news, American politics, great simple food and recipes, chocolate as the other food group, throw up some of my art, poetry,
lots of great humor, astronomy and other sciences, photography - mine and other friends, spiritual and lover of people.

Enjoy all kinds of people from the most artistic to those who think themselves not creative but have just not yet unlocked it.

Yes, I LOVE people, even the annoying ones though no one ever said they would be immune from hearing from me about said bad attitude. :)

Keep the Joy in your heart and it will get you through anything that gets in your way in Life - a tried and true life philosophy from those who know from experience there will always be obstacles in Life. Your will must develop to be stronger and sweep aside, leap over, walk around or just plain spit on those obstacles. Hey, whatever works, right?

Journalism degree from LSU: Geaux TIGERS! (This is Louisiana where we take creative license when it comes to spelling.)

Articles and photos by other people are copyrighted only by them and do not fall under copyright on these blogs or Google. Copyright 2008 - 2050 of Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food by Denny Lyon. All Rights Reserved.