Family campaigns against bullying in memory of son

March 8, 2013

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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Anna Mendez and daughter Victoria, 15, tell San Clemente's City Council about efforts to end a culture of bullying in memory of Victoria's brother Daniel, who took his life in 2009 at age 16, a victim of bullying. FRED SWEGLES, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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In 2009, members of the Mendez family released doves in memory of Daniel Mendez, 16-year-old honor student, athlete and bullying victim whose May 1, 2009 suicide generated a Cool 2 Be Kind Club. FRED SWEGLES, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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Lizzie Heinze displays the program from the 2009 memorial service for Daniel Mendez, who shot himself to death. It's thought that bullying led to his actions. MIGUEL VASCONCELLOS, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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Lizzie Heinze displays the program from the 2009 memorial service for Daniel Mendez, who shot himself to death. It's thought that bullying led to his actions. MIGUEL VASCONCELLOS, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

Anna Mendez and daughter Victoria, 15, tell San Clemente's City Council about efforts to end a culture of bullying in memory of Victoria's brother Daniel, who took his life in 2009 at age 16, a victim of bullying. FRED SWEGLES, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

DID YOU KNOW?

160,000 kids stay home from school every day due to bullying.

20 percent of high schoolers report that they have been bullied.

Every 7 minutes, a child is bullied on school grounds.

For many children, being bullied is a silent, shameful event.

Bullied children are three times more likely to harm themselves or commit suicide.

"Bullying-related suicide has now become the third-leading cause of death among our children.

"Experts tell us that one of six teens have seriously considered suicide, while one in 12 have attempted suicide.

"Bullied children are three times more likely to attempt suicide than non-bullied children.

"Bullies themselves are at higher risk – studies show that children who are bullies are six times more likely to be incarcerated by the age of 24."

These sobering words are from Anna Mendez, a San Clemente mother who has launched a National Association of People Against Bullying in memory of her 16-year-old son Daniel.

She appeared Tuesday evening before the San Clemente City Council, asking the community to unite to halt bullying and work with a Cool 2 Be Kind Club that students started at San Clemente High School in the aftermath of Daniel's May 1, 2009 suicide. She said bullying tragedies can happen to anyone, as Daniel was an honor student and athlete with no particular characteristics that anyone would have believed could place him in a high-risk category to be bullied. Yet he was bullied to the point of despair.

Daniel's sister Victoria Mendez is this year's president of San Clemente High's C2BK club, dedicated to changing the culture on campus. Chapters have started elsewhere around the country, Anna Mendez said.

"Change needs to occur at all levels – the schools, the doctors, the legal system, the kids, the parents, the community leaders," Daniel's mother said. To learn more, see napab.org. The site describes each of these elements, tells Daniel's story, traces his life in pictures and explains how tragedy can unfold. The site includes a PowerPoint presentation and a short video – an adult parody that portrays adult bullying in the workplace to show what bullied kids face on campus.

"Daniel kept a quote on his bedroom wall by an artist called Tupac," Anna Mendez told San Clemente's elected leaders. "It said, 'It's time for us as a people to start making some changes.' I wish I had paid more attention to that quote while he was alive."

ABOUT NAPAB

The Mendez family launched the organization and website in 2012. "We help schools to start their own chapters of Cool 2 Be Kind," Anna Mendez said. "We also provide resources for bullied children and their parents that need help."

She said parents are showing the website to their children, and it's not just educating kids – bullied children are finding strength from it, recognizing that they are not alone.

STUDENT DANCE

The Cool 2 Be Kind Club is planning a student "Dance 4 Daniel" from 7 to 10 p.m. March 30 at the San Clemente Community Center. Students from neighboring high schools will be welcome to attend.

"Dances are the main way that we raise awareness of bullying among kids from our high school and from all high schools," Victoria, 15, told the City Council. "It's also how we fundraise for future anti-bullying activities."

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