Tracy Morgan, Mel Gibson, and Michael Richards went to a comedy night club, a washed-out club where beginners and has-beens performed, so they figured they wouldn’t be noticed. The three of them got drunk and started heckling the wannabe comedian.

The struggling performer recognized the celebrities and didn’t want to be rude at first, but the three celebrities started using racial, ethnic, gender, and sexual preference slurs, so the performer decided it was a great opportunity to make an example out of this bigotrio.

The performer started with Tracy Morgan. “I don’t know why you’d want to stab your gay son to death. Your dad didn’t stab you to death.”

The crowd booed and jeered (though we don’t know if the audience was booing the performer or the hecklers), and Tracy reached for a knife on his table (though his friends insist he’s not a violent person), and Tracy was escorted out of the comedy club.

Next was Michael Richards. “Your show Seinfeld was about nothing. What have you been successful at since Seinfeld? Nothing.”

The crowd booed and jeered, and Michael Richards fell off his chair in a Kramer-esque spasmodic fit, but nobody bought the act, and he was escorted out of the comedy club.

Finally, the performer turned to Mel Gibson. “Your last movie doesn’t fool anyone. If you really knew anything about beavers, you wouldn’t have problems with women.”

The crowd booed and jeered, and after Mel was escorted from the club, the performer pointed to the exiting celebrities and shouted, “Owned!” Then he pointed to himself, shouted, “Winning!” and he started ranting about porn stars.

“Yeesh,” said one audience member as he left. “Charlie Sheen finds three celebrities more pathetic than he is, and his head gets big again.”