الخميس، 19 مارس، 2009

Dreams of Germany

I contest that I'm in God, and I also I believe that I am damned and the Devil shows me why:

DREAM:

Picture: a nice warm night, in a garden at the back of some flats, nearing a walkway, on a new housing estate, an african woman is sitting on the wall, we are in England, that's apparent, a jewish girl wearing dark blue overalls with her dark brown hair flowing down, is sitting on the grass, I'm a man, I'm wearing a chunky coat, it's important that I watch the Jewish girl, because, she is mine, Germany is in England, another african girl arrives, just as I explain we have to leave the area...

Switch to a kind of hospice I and the jewish girl have entered, after a little walk through a dark lit street, there are many soldiers and men around, no women...the hospice is full of benches, it may be a train station, it has a little reception behind a wall, and pillars on each side, my wife walks on ahead to find a seat...I am a soldier, I ask for a bandanna, of the german flag, red yellow and black, with a black swastika, because I want my jewish wife to wear it round her arm, I'm HIGH on Nazism, I talk with them for some 20 minutes, though I am awake, in my bed, and I am in LOVE with my memorabilia, in love with Nazism, I would also like a little brooch for my wife...

I walk to her, unfolding the bandanna which becomes a huge flag...we greet some men, who know I'm sure! that she is jewish, but they like us, and walk with me I think at this I notice an african girl, but an african girl in a ghost, talking to us,

We enter a tiny cupboard room, with some friends already there, I find my wife sitting on some boxes with our few possessions, and tell her to try to use the huge flag as an armband...she won't turn to me...THEN

A shaky German voice begins singing, as though on a very loud radio...IN my bedroom!!

And just before a black plane with a silver swastika on each wing, still the man singing, and such heightened fear and expectation, the plane turns, looks small enough to fit in the building, and lands in the room, then disappears...gunshotssound!! I see a man point a gun through the door, and shot a man in front of him! I hear gunshots everywhere...

My wife and I realise we are the only ones alive, and that it was mass suicide...becuaauseHITLER has arrived dressed in black, holding a black cane, walking over the rubble of the building, and the reason for the suicide is that this complete incarnation of the devil is something ssssssoooooo frightening to face, even for german men, we are still alive in the cupboard, we know we are dead, AND the man is still singing a woeful german dirge, and I am singing along as I turn out of my bed I can hear the song in my bedroom, and my wife is silent, sitting there with her back turned to me, looking at nothing...as I leave the dream...

هناك تعليق واحد:

You are bespectacled wit yo mama's visions of fear and forgiveness....

If ya askin' me th' jewish girl is your primary aspect of yer feminine side and represents a desire to be ordered yet compassionate. You're sitting in a place (currently) with some new possibilities for your life but these are overcome...as usual...by your tendency to restrict yourself in a regimented manner which, if reason prevails, could very well be the militaristic attitude of the entire nation you come from.

You actually enjoy("LOVE") this little charade for it keeps "personal martyrdom" (our social conditioning..."memorabilia") in order....and Gawd help us if we discharge our little "orders".

What does an "African girl" represent to you? Wild wishes ? wild nature ? freedom from social bonds ?

Is the cupboard a compartmentalized way of hiding?

each time you accept social dogma ( small bandana flag) you see yourself headed down the road to being consumed ( large flag)by the fears of your society and become afraid of being the tyrant (hitler) in your own mind......

We who take refuge in the cupboards....never face our demons square on..