Date: Mon, 04 Mar 2002 09:43:55 -0800
From: Scott Lockhart
Subject: my girlfriend made me do it- chapter 7
Please don't make any irrational assumptions before you read this: I have
never met N'Sync, and nothing in this story is intended to make you think
any thing different about their personalities, orientations, etc. If you
really want to know, meet them yourself. Also, this story isn't intended for
audiences under 18
or with moral objections to relationships, gay, straight, or whatever.
Ok, I have been toying with a few ideas, and I have basically decided to do
it this way. Email me for comments, whether negative or positive. I don't
care anymore. Well, yeah I do. Anyway, it's scottiescot@hotmail.com
Of all the people in the world he had to bring to the airport, he had to
bring Justin. I instantly stopped half-running to Josh and stopped, my face
a look of obvious disappointment.
He pretended not to see my anger, and instead ran up to me himself, hugging
me really tightly, but pulling off after a second. I didn't hug him back; I
glared at Justin over Josh's shoulder.
As far as I was concerned, Justin could rot in hell. He had torn Jen and me
apart by taking advantage of her. I hadn't heard anything about him and
Britney possibly breaking up on MTV News, so I was assuming that he had
dumped Jen after he had left Seattle. He had used her. And even if breaking
up with Jen was one of the worst times in my life, Jen didn't deserve to be
treated like that. She was a good person, even if we couldn't be together. I
understood that now, and I guess I moved on in the three weeks we've been
apart. If it hadn't been for Josh and Tony, I might have done what I had
done when my mother had left and not talked for a year, but I was maturing,
and seeing that maybe Jen and I weren't so right for each other. Obviously
Josh had a lot to do with this thinking. In his special Josh way, he helped
me get over Jen, even though it was hard.
And now, here was Justin, the little bastard that had caused me so much
grief, a month spent obsessing over whether I was gay or not, and had torn
from me not just my girlfriend, but one of my closest friends.
Justin quailed a little under the furious glare I gave him, and I guess I
can be pretty intimidating. I don't talk much, but people tell me that I
scare people just by glaring at them. There was no scar on his face from the
last time we had met face-to-face, or rather face-to-fist, but I could tell
that he was a little afraid of me.
"Austin, I know you are mad at Justin, but I brought him along for a
reason," said Josh. He wasn't an idiot; he knew exactly why I was acting so
cold. He held me at arm's length to look me in the eyes. I got that feeling
again, that feeling of falling or whatever. I quickly dropped my gaze. Jen
used to fix me with her gaze, knowing that just looking into her eyes would
be enough to get me to do whatever she wanted.
"Justin?" prompted Josh, stepping away from me. I turned impassively to
look at Justin.
"I wanted to apologize for what happened. I shouldn't have gone out with
your girlfriend," said Justin dully. That was it? A half-assed apology?! If
he wanted forgiveness from me, he'd have to let me sleep with his girlfriend
and see how he likes it.
"And..." prompted Josh.
Justin sighed. "And I shouldn't have tried to break you up."
I had half a mind to deck him again, but decided it probably wasn't
appropriate in the airport lounge.
I characteristically said nothing, then moved past both of them, intending
to go get my bags from baggage claim.
"Austin? Aren't you going to say anything?" said Josh. I looked back at
both of them. Josh was looking a little surprised, but Justin was looking
angry. What right did he have to be angry?
"No," I said, and turned back around. I knew that the only reason Justin
had said anything was because Josh had made him, and that made the apology
even less sincere.
I heard Justin give an irritated grunt behind me, and I could picture
Josh's face, looking confused. Obviously he had thought that it was best to
get Justin and me to be civil to each other right off the bat, considering
we would be seeing each other all week. Fat chance.
When I opened the door, I found Mike, the huge security guard from the
concert. I guess he was probably a personal body guard, or maybe he just
worked for the band or something. He had already brought my bags for me.
"Thanks," I said quietly. Damn. I had hoped that I could use the time it
took to walk down to the baggage claim to figure out how best to tell Josh
how useless it was to get me to forgive Justin. I could forgive Jen: she had
been hurt and vulnerable, but not Justin.
Josh, Justin and I silently walked out of the airport, accompanied by Mike,
and surprisingly, nobody seemed to notice them, despite their fame. They
weren't wearing anything outrageous, and looked very normal today, for
N'Sync. I noted. Josh of course, looks good in anything, and he was wearing
a hooded Adidas sweatshirt and track pants. Justin was a little wilder, but
that's him, I guess. He was wearing a denim vest or something that looked
like he had cut the sleeves off a denim jacket, with a sleeveless white
shirt underneath, and really, really tight jeans. Why would someone wear
tight pants? But still, at least they weren't wearing ripped leather and
snakeskin. They would have really stood out.
Once we stepped outside of LAX Airport, we walked through a parking lot, as
silently as if were strangers. I was mad at both Josh and Justin, and I was
afraid of what Mike or Justin would think if Josh and I got "too" close, if
you know what I mean. Finally, they stopped at a minivan.
I raised my eyebrows at Josh. He was an international popstar, and he rode
around in a minivan?
"You'll see," he said, answering my unasked question. He and I helped Mike
load my bags in the back while Justin played with his Palm Pilot.
I wasn't sure if Mike doubled as a chauffeur, so I stood awkwardly outside
the car, unsure where I was supposed to sit. Justin took note of this and
said rudely,
"What's the matter, don't they have cars where you're from?" I ignored him.
Surprisingly, Mike got in the driver's seat, Justin sat next to him, and
Josh pulled open the passenger door. We sat next to each other in the middle
seat.
As Mike started up the car, Josh told me what he had planned for my first
day in LA.
"I'm not going to tell you what we're doing first, because I want it to be
a surprise," he said excitedly, turning to me. I stared straight ahead,
saying nothing. After a minute of trying to start a conversation, Josh gave
up, and we drove in silence for a while. I watched the scenery outside of
the window play by me, but Justin kept distracting me. He kept reaching
behind him and shaking his wrist because his watch kept sliding down his
skinny arm. He also kept pulling on his ear, and I noticed he had an
earring.
After ten minutes of silence, Mike pulled into a little gated parking lot
next to a compound-like area. I guessed that this was where we were staying.
I could see from the parking lot into a field framed by six buildings,
arranged in a square. It looked like an apartment complex for a half dozen
people, and was two stories, decorated in that style, what is it
Mediterranean or something, with the tile roofs and porticos, and stucco,
all of it surrounding a grassy center area with a fountain in the middle. It
was really elaborately landscaped, with tropical flowers blooming
everywhere, and palms and those red flowered bushes everywhere; really
different from Washington, which is mostly roses and evergreens.
I immediately opened the sliding door and stepped outside. It was really
warm. It must have been 85 degrees, and I started to get hot in my sweater,
so I pulled it off. Mike and Josh had already unloaded my bags and
disappeared by the time I had stopped looking and turned back to the van.
Justin was still in the car, fiddling with his Palm Pilot again.
I had thought I would be staying at a hotel, and Josh had been evasive with
the details. Apparently, he had his own little set up out here, which
shouldn't have surprised me, considering how much time they probably spend
in LA when not touring. I wondered if the whole group lived here, or if it
was just him. He probably wouldn't keep an apartment in public, and as I
didn't see a mob, I guessed that perhaps they all lived here.
Josh reappeared from behind the gate, and waved me through. I glanced back
at Justin, who was now looking at his wallet for some reason, and walked
over to the gate where Josh was standing.
"Josh, I though I was staying at a hotel," I said.
"Well, this is even better! You can live with me for the week!" he said
brightly, throwing his arm over my shoulder.
"Umm, are you sure?" I said, starting to feel panicky again. What would
happen if I were alone with Josh?
He sighed. "Of course I am sure. I want to be with you Austin, and it won't
happen if you are in a hotel," he said, pulling out a key and unlocking the
gate.
My palms were now sweating buckets. What did he mean by "be with me?" Was I
ready for that? I don't think so.
I swallowed my fears a little and walked with him into the complex, his arm
still around my shoulder. I glanced back at Justin, and saw him staring out
the window at us, so I quickly took Josh's hand off of my shoulder.
He sighed again, glancing at the van as I did, and instead led me down the
tile walkway to the apartment on the far right. I stayed tentatively behind
him, aware of his disappointment in me, but also thankful. His arm had not
been reassuring: instead I had felt panicked that anyone would see and think
something.
He unlocked the door and I followed him inside.
Wow. The place was huge! We entered through this little entry way thing,
and to the left was a sunken living room, all decked out in black leather
and glass. There was a bar near the fireplace, and I could see the kitchen
from the entrance, over on the left side at the far end of the house. Stairs
were right in front of us.
There was no mistaking it: Josh was loaded. Seriously. Everything was
either marble, glass, leather, or hardwood oak or something. It looked a
little dim since it was the day time, but it looked like it would be
swinging at night.
He had a home theatre, big screen, expensive abstract art: it was obviously
decorated by one of those artistic designers or whatever. It just didn't
seem Josh, though. He was too quiet, too real, too serious to live in a
place like this.
He set his keys down on a table on the wall next to the door, and headed
upstairs. I waited a minute, looking in awe at everything, when I heard a
knock on the door behind me.
I turned around to find Mike holding my bags for me.
"Hey, Mike, are you going to be driving us around?" I asked, as I took the
bags from his hands.
He laughed, his shiny bald head glaring at me from the hot sun.
"Hell no, I get paid to watch out for N'sync, I don't drive them," he said.
"Well then why did you..." I started, but he interrupted.
"I just needed a ride here, and I thought I would be nice and let you and
JC catch up," he answered.
"Oh," I said. That made sense.
He turned to leave. "Thanks," I said, realizing how rude I was.
"No prob," he said, pulling on a pair of RayBands and walking out into the
sunlight. I would have to get myself a pair of sunglasses soon: the sun sure
is bright in California.
I closed the door behind him, now wondering where I would be putting my
suitcase and my sportsbag. Josh thundered down the stairs just then.
"Hey, was that Mike?" he said. I nodded.
"Cool, put your bags upstairs and I'll meet you at the car," he said.
"Ok," I started to say, but I couldn't; Josh had jumped me, swallowing my
lips with his.
Well, this would make up for the three weeks of nothing and the silent ride
from the airport.
I tried to kiss him back gently. I'm more of a passionate kind of kisser,
but Josh is totally a taker. He rammed his tongue against the wall.
He devoured me with his mouth, licking everywhere at once, and god it felt
amazing! It was like my first kiss. He was so hungry for me, it felt great!
At the same time his tongue was practically choking me, his hands were all
over the place, they started off on my chest. He was doing something weird:
rubbing my nipples underneath my T-shirt. No one has ever done that to me,
but it felt awesome! Then he started rubbing my shoulders, pulling himself
even closer to me. I tried to keep up with them, but he was way too fast for
me.
By the time I had finally found his tempo, he abruptly pulled his tongue
out of my mouth and started in on my neck. He wrapped his arms around my
back, and chewed the cords in my neck: another first for me. I tentatively
put my hands around his neck, because that's what I usually do when I'm
kissing someone, but his head was right next to mine, so that I could smell
his cologne like a pungent musky aroma invading me, and I found my hands
were better off on his shoulders.
He finished my neck in what seemed like a second and jumped back to my
mouth, leaving a trail of spit up my neck. One hand fell to my stomach, the
other cupping the back of my head. He moaned softly into my mouth, a moan
full of breath, and passion, and oh...I don't know what else. It just
totally turned me on.
Then he stopped kissing me and looked me directly in the eye, with that
shrewd smile he's got, you know, the one that says he knows exactly what
you're thinking but you won't say.
"I think you'll like staying with me," he said. Then he abruptly let go of
me and exited stage right, slamming his apartment door behind him.
That little sex-crazed bastard. I had been hoping to delay passion in our
relationship, mainly because I was terrified of gay sex, but also because I
found that any relationship that begins all about sex was doomed to failure.
I had also been hoping to delay a fully serious relationship with him, not
because I didn't like him a lot, because I did, or because I still had those
gay hang-ups, but because of something Tony had told me.
I haven't been single since I was a freshman in high school. Jen calls me
"the strong and silent" type, whatever that means, and some of my friends
that are girls call me "a lone wolf," but every relationship I have been in
has been a serious relationship. I had skipped the whole "experimentation"
phase as a teenager, and I had never had a chance to be out there, playing
the dating game. My sexual history was identical to my relationship history,
meaning every relationship I have been in (that would be five, not counting
Josh) I had had sex.
My freshman year, I was 5'10" tall and 155 lbs, and pretty muscular since I
am adamant about staying in shape. I worked for the school newspaper, and my
editor, Sarah, liked me. Ok, more than liked me: she totally seduced me. She
was a senior. She "arranged" for me to have to work late with her on some
dumb project. Being a freshman, I was totally na´ve and didn't even consider
why a lowly freshman writer like me would be needed for any project our
editor was involved with, but I played along. Eventually, we made out over
her desk, and then she took over. She was my first, so I had no idea what I
was doing. I was one happy freshman, I can tell you that.
After that night, I had my only on-off relationship with her for about two
weeks, until I met my next girlfriend, Rebecca. It really wasn't working out
with Sarah. She was just too involved in school, and she had to drive me
everywhere, and a lot of other things.
Rebecca was infinitely superior to Sarah, and not just in looks either,
even though she was gorgeous. Blonde, tall, beautiful blue eyes and perfect
teeth. Excellent rack, nice ass, she was perfect. She was also smart, funny,
and really compassionate. We went to girlie movies together and both cry
(one thing about me, I only cry when I am by myself, or with a girl. And
recently, with Josh). We dated all through sophomore year, then had to break
up when she moved to New York. We tried the long distance thing, but by the
end of the summer, we agreed on a phone call that it was best to just be
friends. I still email her sometimes, but not very often.
The day after that phone call, this hot chick walked into work, and I had
her number by the end of the day. Her name was Olivia. She was Mexican, and
had dark brown, shoulder-length hair, gorgeous chocolate brown eyes and a
beautiful body. She was a hopeful comedienne; she always had something funny
to say. Everyone was friends with her; she was just such a people person.
Totally the opposite of silent me, but we got along great together. She was
also totally athletic, and she was on the girls softball team. We both loved
the Mariners, and watched every game together. She showed up at every single
one of my games, and I showed for all of hers. She was a pitcher, by the
way, and had an excellent arm.
We were a couple until the middle of junior year, when I found out that she
had been cheating on me with her math tutor, this guy Troy. I broke his arm
later, but that's another story. I know what you are thinking, that I went
on a Jen-like rampage, but it was actually an accident. I didn't see him
when I was carrying a box of copies of the school newspaper down to the news
office in the basement, and he tripped us both, and we both fell down the
stairs. I was fine, but the box and the weird way he fell broke his arm.
I lost all respect for Livvie (what I used to call her), and instead turned
to my best friend at the time, Mikayla, for comfort. Sympathy turned into
make out session, and I realized how hot I was for her. I don't even know
how I could have missed it before, but I was blinded by Livvie, as all my
friends told me. She was apparently hot for me too, so we took no time
getting to know each other, since we already knew each other. I just held
her hand all day the next day. It was really cruel to Livvie, and when she
saw it, I could see it in her eyes that she was crushed, but hey, at the
time I felt she deserved it.
Everyone told us that Mikayla and I were cute together, and we were. We
both had dark brown hair and blue eyes, and we were both at the top of the
popularity food chain in high school: I was captain of the varsity baseball
team and the newspaper editor, and she was student body president and a
cheerleader. But we both weren't as fake as those roles sound, and we were
good together.
She was spirited and outgoing, but there was a serious, reserved side to
her, too, like me. We had long talks on the phone until 3 in the morning a
lot, and we got so close we thought we might get married someday. I was
totally in love with her: she was just so special. She made my day, and she
was the nicest person in the world. To top it all off, she was my best
friend; I told her everything. Apparently everyone else thought we were too,
because we were voted Cutest Couple senior year. Mikayla was special, and I
wanted to be with her forever.
However, she was accepted at Columbia University, an opportunity she wasn't
going to throw away. So we had to break up in the middle of the summer, when
she had to leave to New York, and we knew it wouldn't work out. That made
two girls who fled to New York to escape me, not to mention my mom, in case
you're keeping track.
Then I met Jen at orientation.
I was cautious, and faithful, and that meant that I only slept with people
I was truly in love with, with the exception of Sarah. That's not a bad
thing, and I like to be able to say that about myself, but I was also a guy,
driven by hormones. I didn't want to commit to Josh yet, and I was afraid
that if we slept together, I would be rapidly entering another serious
relationship, when I was already on the rebound from Jen. The three weeks we
had been apart had allowed me to look at a lot of things, and I wanted to
slow things down with Josh. Things had happened too fast. In two days, we
had met, talked, cried, and kissed. If life were meant to be that fast,
everyone would be stuck on fast forward.
I finally shook myself out of my thoughts when I felt a sharp pain in my
hamstring from leaning against the wall after Josh had thrown me against it.
I decided to leave my bags here, and figure out how best to tell Josh I
wanted to slow everything the fuck down before we hurt ourselves later.
After rejoining Josh and Justin in the van, they drove me to the studio.
Josh had said that he had to do something there, and had told the other
three guys to meet us there. Josh was driving, and Justin was sitting next
to him, while I sat in the back. At first, we drove in dead silence. Then
Josh started filling in the silence, chattering unconcernedly, which was
really unlike him.
"Today is going to be the best day, just you wait, Austin, I'm going to
show you so much of this town that you'll get sick of it, just like when you
showed me Seattle, it'll be great. What do you feel like for lunch, is
Mexican ok? Do they have good Mexican food in Seattle? What do you eat
there, besides coffee? I must have seen about fifty coffee shops, well I'm
taking you to this great place, it's really good food, and if you don't like
Mexican food, this'll change your mind. It's the best, it's called
Rosarita's, and I personally know the manager there..." he prattled.
I grinned. I knew he didn't expect me to answer, knowing how quiet I was,
but it was actually refreshing to hear someone filling in the awkward
silence that had occupied the car with Justin sitting there. Speaking of
Justin, I watched him in his window, and he was glaring at me. Finally he
turned to Josh, saying "I don't think they'll let him in Rosarita's." Josh
stopped talking.
"Why?"
"Because he doesn't look rich enough," he said simply. I was astounded.
Obviously, my not forgiving Justin had made him a little cold towards me,
but he didn't have to be a dick about it. He didn't even say it directly to
my face. What a tool.
But at least now I knew why he kept fiddling with his watch and fingering
his earring. He kept flashing bank at me. I had seen it before when I was in
high school. Let me explain.
When my mother dumped me off at my dad's house, she probably wasn't just
trying to get rid of me. I think she felt guilty about not being able to
provide for me all the good things in life, so she covered it up by acting
uncaring. When she met my stepdad, she saw an opportunity not to ditch me,
really, but to give me a chance at a better life. My stepdad was a lawyer,
and had no kids, and he was loaded.
That day when my mom left was the first time I had been at his house, and I
was looking around at it, amazed. How could one person need all this room.
It was ballin' let me tell you: 5-car garage, tennis courts, antiques,
everything.
When my dad adopted me, I had to switch schools, since he lived in Fair
Heights. He lived in a really rich district, so the new kids that I went to
school with were all spoiled rich kids, with their Polo and Abercrombie and
sportscars. I had had a massive growth spurt right before seventh grade, and
I was one of the tallest kids in my class. The girls really liked me, and
the guys were jealous, so they made rude comments about me being poor, at
the same time flicking their Rolex-covered wrists and pulling out their
laptops in class. They thought they were better than me because they had
money.
I don't know what Justin's problem was, but the way he kept fiddling with
his Palm Pilot even though Josh had made plans and the way he kept fingering
that diamond earring reminded me of that.
Neither I nor Josh knew quite what to say, so we drove in silence. About
five minutes later, I saw that we were heading for a massive recording lot,
a bunch of tan buildings and a parking lot, surrounded by high security
fencing. Josh pulled the minivan up to a guard, who waved him through. Josh
parked the car on the far side, and as we got out, I could see Lance and
Joey standing in the sun with another, shorter guy I didn't recognize. They
were talking, but shut up when they saw me, Josh and Justin walk up to them.
"Austin, you never met Chris, did you?" said Josh, indicating the short
guy. Now I remembered. He had been the one with blue hair at the concert,
but now it was black with blond streaks in it. Did the whole group have a
makeover every two weeks?
"Hey, what's up?" he said, holding his hand up for a high five. I dropped
my hand in front of him, but I was totally thinking 'nark' as he slapped it.
Sorry, but he looked even older than Josh.
"You look familiar..." he said vaguely. I have no idea how he remembered me
from that stupid interview, almost a month ago. I certainly hadn't given him
a second thought.
"Remember? He gave Justin a bloody nose," piped up Joey.
"Oh...k," said Chris, frowning at me. "And he's here...why?"
"Because he's my best friend," interrupted Josh.
"And mine," said Joey, not to be outdone. He pulled me into a trademark
Joey hug, nearly crushing my rib cage. I smiled tightly. That wasn't exactly
the whole story... Justin then abruptly left, muttering darkly.
"Well, anyway, he's here at my request. It's his spring break and I told
him he could hang out with us for the week," said Josh.
"Cool," said Chris. I didn't know what story Josh and Joey had told Chris
about my breaking Justin's nose, and I decided not to worry about it. Still,
I felt awful about hitting Justin, even if I refused to forgive him for
messing around with Jen. You just don't hit people.
"Justin messes around with a lot of people," said Chris suddenly. "I guess
he found one girl who's boyfriend didn't like it," he said, smiling. I guess
Josh had told him the truth.
"He does?" I said. Had Justin simply had a string of flings in every city
they passed? I had assumed as much, but this would definitely explain why
Jen looked so downtrodden in class. They hadn't stayed in touch, and Justin
had used her vulnerability from our fight to get into her pants. What a dick
head.
"Well, I'm going to go get him a visitor's pass. Johnny's making me, but
after a few days, you won't have to worry about it," said Josh, turning to
head into the building. Joey followed him.
Leaving me alone, standing with two guys I barely knew.
"How long have you been in LA?" said Chris. Lance stayed silent, but was
fingering a cross on a necklace that I hadn't noticed earlier.
"About an hour," I answered. "Josh and Lance just picked me up from the
airport."
"You ever been here?" I shook my head.
"You sure? You look like an actor," he said, surprising me.
"I do?"
"Sure, you got that hot young soap opera star thing going there," he said,
waving his finger at my clothes. I looked down. I was wearing dark blue
jeans and a white pullover. What was he talking about?
"Well, what about a model? You totally have the body for it," said Chris. I
gaped at him.
"Josh said you're staying all week. Even to the MTV rehearsals?"
interrupted Lance.
"I don't think so..." I answered, uncertain. I had no idea how any of the
music business worked. I had completely forgotten that Josh would be
rehearsing all week.
"Anyway, are you gonna be chillin with us all week?" I nodded.
"You are so going clubbing with us tonight," grinned Chris. I smiled
tentatively back. I still didn't know Lance or Chris well enough to really
talk to them, so I just smiled awkwardly and waited for Josh to come back.
Unfortunately, Chris was a talker, and peppered me with questions the entire
time.
"Josh says you're from Seattle. Were you born there?" I nodded.
"So you've lived there you're whole life? Wow, don't you get down with all
the rain?"
"Not really," I answered. When was Josh coming back?
"What are you?" interrupted Lance. I looked blankly at him.
"What?"
"What faith are you?" What was with the third degree?
"Excuse me?"
"Are you Episcopalian?" he said, looking up at me, still fingering his
cross. What was with this guy?
"Actually..." I said, but before I could answer, Chris interrupted Lance.
"Have you been to New York? Are you sure you're not an actor?"
"Yes, I'm sure," I answered.
"Mormon?" interrupted Lance.
"What? No, I'm Catholic," I answered. What the hell did it matter what
religion I was??
"Well, what about a model? You could make bank with your looks," said
Chris. I gaped at him.
"Josh says you play baseball," said Lance. "What position?"
"You're in college, right? How's that going?" said Chris.
"I used to play a little when I was a kid. I was a pretty good hitter,"
said Lance.
"Are you in a fraternity?" asked Chris.
Although I should have been flattered that these two celebrities wanted to
know so much about dumb old me, instead I felt intimidated.
Finally, Josh came back and saved me from my interrogation.
"Ok, are you ready to go?" he said excitedly. He had changed his shirt.
"Where are we going?" I asked. Since the car ride had been mostly silent,
with the occasional disparaging remark from Justin, Josh hadn't told me what
he had planned.
"Disneyland!!" He was like a little kid, all excited. He wasn't himself:
usually he's pretty quiet, like me, but now he was down right giddy. I saw
Chris and Lance look at him in disbelief out of the corner of my eye: if we
weren't careful, someone would obviously figure out that I wasn't just in LA
for a "friendly" visit. I made a mental note to remind Josh not to look at
me with goo-goo eyes when we were around other people.
"Disneyland? Are you for real?" I repeated. Hanging out with N'sync was
like hanging out with fourth graders. There was Joey, who acted like a big
kid, and Justin, the spoiled brat. I had yet to see if Lance or Chris were
"kids-at-heart", but I was already deciding not to be alone with either of
them for too long.
"It'll be great! I haven't been there in almost a year!" said Joey, who had
followed Josh out of the studio. I saw Justin hovering awkwardly around the
door on the inside of the studio, glaring at me.
I rolled my eyes, the expression on my face stuck on "o...k...". Why was I
always the mature one? I was younger than everyone in the band.
"When's the last time you've done Space Mountain?" said Josh.
I actually couldn't remember the last time I had been at Disneyland. My
mother had never taken me, of course, but my dad had, once, when I was
twelve or thirteen. He had taken me and three of my friends, and it had been
fun, even if we had ended up ditching him.
"I guess I was twelve," I confessed. Everyone except Lance made mock
outrages.
"We go every year if we can help it! We can't get enough of that place,"
said Chris.
"Well, Chris can't get enough of Minnie Mouse," joked Joey. Chris pretended
to hit him in the shoulder, and Joey pretended to be hurt. I laughed. Maybe
Chris wasn't so bad, and Joey seemed a lot of fun outside of a crisis. Only
Lance seemed to be as quiet as me, since Josh was still talking up a storm,
and Joey and Chris were now pretending to be in a duel, and I heard the
familiar "Ksshk!" sound from both of them of invisible light sabers.
I stood there awkwardly, not feeling appropriate in joining in, and feeling
too weird to make a joke. I felt so out of place with these guys.
"Alright, that's enough. Everyone, get your asses in the van," said Lance
suddenly, taking charge. I looked at him agape. This didn't go at all well
with the follower-characteristic I gave him.
I was closest to the van, so I got in first, and I deliberately did not sit
shotgun, expecting Justin to complain. Instead, I sat in the way back, as
far away from Josh as possible. Maybe he would take a hint.
The rest of the guys clambored in, Joey sitting next to me, and Lance and
Chris in front of us. Justin, as expected, sat next to Josh.
Josh started the van up, and Chris and Lance immediately turned in their
seats to look at me. Joey also looked at me. I felt like I was on a
spotlight. I concentrated on the pattern of the back of Lance and Chris's
seat to avoid eye contact.
SO Sorry I have to end it here, but it's pretty long already, don't you
think? Email is, as always, at scottiescot@hotmail.com