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Do you really find the world a dreaded place? You failed a few times but don’t forget that you’ve won too. Why are you so afraid living in the present and in doing so you hold on too tight of the past and weary about the future?

You said you are smart. You believed you know love. You learned that mistakes and pains were part of the tools to gain wisdom and make better decisions. Actions are key to feel the grit of life.

Why would you give up life after tasting it? Some people begged for another day, another chance, immortality even; because they have found what is worth living for. Don’t tell me you have not discovered the meaning worth living for!

I will let you in to a secret, what is your preference? Surely you will like one genre of a television series, are you “Suits,” or “Breaking Bad,” or “House of Cards,” or “The Middle,” or “Game of Thrones” watcher? Then list some more of matters that interest you, and in those you will find what you truly care for. When you are brave and honest enough, you will enjoy the entirety of life.

Two men that I respect for their spiritual belief belonging from two completely different countries but both love God answered these line of questions with identical answer. If God is so loving and would only want the best for mankind, His very own creation, then why are there so many sufferings? Why do bad things happen to good people? Their answer is…

“I don’t know.”

It is true that God works in pretty mysterious ways. I often wonder why do Father rape their own daughters? Why do criminals due to their mental illness exist to havoc emotional and physical pain to the people around them and don’t even realize that they do? Why do God let the simple meeting the basic needs of food and clean water being so difficult? Where is God?

I also don’t know…

But I got reminded that human race carried a curse when Adam and Eve have eaten the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden.

I also have faith that God never stopped loving men and send miracles despite the outer suffering that men’s naked eyes could see but not for the intellect to possibly comprehend and grasp.

God sent His only begotten son Jesus to be the way, the truth, and the life for men. He died for men’s sins for a beautiful and promising eternal life.

It does puzzle me that if heaven is all beautiful, why are men need to be on Earth to endure so many challenges that breaks the hearts and loan the souls?

“Heaven is in our midst,” those words lead me to not rush and crave for the afterlife but to enjoy peace in the present. Peace is not the absence of distraction but peace within me directly connecting with the almighty.

Finally, I believe that through battling my challenges, I become stronger. When I suffer, I develop empathy and would be able to be kinder to the others who suffer the same. And when I am truly tuned in, I could make a difference to make this world better than I found it. That’s just me; but what if the thinking spreads to every single one on Earth, it’ll be revolutionary.

The pain is part of the hero’s journey despite pain doesn’t stop with just one. Just like a rough diamond is not brilliant until it goes through some ridiculous amount of meticulous cutting and grinding.

The best solution for my boredom, for the feeling of being stuck in rut, and depression is to learn new things or have a new experience.

I was so contented with seating at home during weekend and binging on Netflix series that I become complacent with life. I wasn’t growing because I am not doing anything about it.

It takes me to “SIGN UP” immediately for things that either interest me or makes me curious despite for sure will make me uncomfortable to breakthrough and grow better.

Two things made it possible for me to do this:

Courage. I have to face my fears. I have to forget all my inhibitions. I have to trust myself that as soon as I accomplish this, I am better, and then I can take on bigger challenges that make life exciting.

Enjoy the journey. I have to keep reminding myself that there is always something positive about everything and I can simply enjoy the present, the process, and not too caught up about the future or the result. If I give my very best now then it will have a domino effect.

Learning is being humble and admitting that there are more to grasp. It is a way to open up to new ideas and hearing an expert in the field that I am not.

The pasta in Italy is the most delicious pasta I have ever tasted in my entire life. Even the packed pasta for mass distribution tasted great.

Whenever I think of Italy now, I would always remember the delicious Pasta al Pomodoro that I have consistently ordered during my visit in Rome because it didn’t disappoint.

I never expected that I will travel the world when I was young. I lived in a simple town in the Northern Philippines and it never occur to me that I must travel. Now that I have experienced visiting different countries, I would recommend that it is great to travel for vacation. It is expensive sometimes depending on preferred set-up like 5-star hotel over lower ones, it needs preparation, but the positive impact outweighs every challenging bits.

Going to a new country awakens all the senses but mostly it triggers excitement and the sense of wonder. If I’ve never visited Italy, I could have not known the best way to be served with the authentic Italian pasta.

Go and plan your next adventure and discover something that will inspire you!

When I was little, I did participate the discussion of which came first, was it the chicken or the egg, for the simple reason that I couldn’t come up with a definite answer, I was confused. I was reasoning for both sides with what I believe are good arguments.

Not that I’m all full of wisdom but now I became definite with my answer so without doubt I lean on the chicken came first. The source will come first before the fruit and I see chicken as the source that need to produce an egg, sit on it for a good amount of time, before that egg hatches as a chick.

Yesterday I heard a family passed by my apartment, a father, a mother, and a child. The child was asking the parents about where are they going. The child’s voice is filled with excitement and a sense of wonder for a little person but with a whole soul. Are children that hopeful and filled with love because they just came from our source?

To maintain that purity in spirit, the adult has the responsibility to nurture them with love but trust them enough that they could eventually stand up on their own to be what they were supposed to be to serve the world better than they found it.

Children are strong in hope but they are fragile too that adult could break that, to condition them in a hostile upbringing, leading them to a bad path. Adults indeed have the responsibility to care for the young ones to lead with good example, so they can grow up as a responsible human being.

Today, I finally understood that not knowing the answer is enough to let matters go. I finally accepted it without resistance.

I finally see these statements more clearly –

Let go of what you cannot control.

It doesn’t have to have a reason.

It is not my place to know if it is meant to be.

I don’t need to be right.

I’ve always insisted that everything must have a form. Every thing, every one including me can be judged.

No wonder The Monk Hakuin with an encounter with a villager’s baby was at peace and says is that so. Paul Schubert was right to observe that the monk had responded appropriately, to respond to the moment of what’s best. The baby needed someone to care for it regardless of how the people tainted his reputation or the accusation is untrue. What a great way to live and it will eliminate all the dramas of my ego.

I am here and I will give my best. I cannot explain nor answer the rushing questions of why it happened, why it didn’t happen, and it is okay. I am alive and I will respond with effort and love.

If I choose to, I know that I can be happy all the time, but the truth is happiness is not the ultimate goal in life. It’s not because I will now entertain the opposite of to be unhappy but I just finally accepted that there are important moments in life in which “being happy” is not the right emotion.

As a healthy human being I need to grief, to be calm (not beaming with fake smile) and accept circumstance that is out of my control, or be angry and passionate to defend what’s not right.

If I am to be consistent of what I will do in life, then I believe I would exercise the following:

Love – Unleash the love that I am made of and recognize the love of others expressed in their own special way as I do too.

Unique – It is easier to live with others when I find a connection of what we authentically like in common but I also have to accept that no matter how I would insist, each has its own path, a unique calling I may possibly never understand.

Pain – I will get hurt and whether it was a divine plan, divine intervention, or a product of my error, it will teach me a lesson to get better. It is not easy but it is not impossible to heal.

Growth – What is life without growth? It is going to be a sad boring repetitive life like a zombie existing but no longer productively contributing to make the world better than it was found. To watch myself bloom is beautiful.

Accomplish – To challenge myself in setting goals of learning new skills and traverse the uncomfortable and commit to complete a project or abandon when the pure wisdom agrees not because of fear.

Relationship – Unless it is meaningful then move on to find where I could have a meaningful relationship with somebody. I will never be able to live alone, I need to connect with people, otherwise it will be lonely and I die young.

Attitude – Positive attitude doesn’t necessarily mean being happy, I believe it is being hopeful and not a downer that shoots down the good vibe.

Intention – What I personally intent is what matters and I aim that it will always be good and not undermine another for my benefit.

Acceptance – To say yes that not all things are under my control and it is okay and let life be.

Grateful – There are so many miracles that happen all the time, the blessings are pouring in, the bare fact that I am breathing and woke up this morning, I am a hero of my own story and I have a journey to take on.

Did you notice that the WordPress’ stats button was removed from the top left corner when you’ve signed in and viewing your blog? It used to have a one-click button and you’ll immediately see how many people visited your blog for the day, which post did they look, guests are coming from what country, etc. Before it was removed I was thinking of actually disabling it, okay I didn’t remember doing something to actually disable it, but it has been gone for some time now.

It is actually distracting for me to have that quick button because I am tempted to click it and see who are dropping by in my blog instead of completing a post and making it eloquent. It gives me a different sense of falsehood and the jolt that I am being played by the production of the chemicals dopamine and oxytocin.

So why do I blog? Because I enjoy writing, I hope in the process I am able to inspire, and the reality that I want to get better with writing. This is my practice in a stage; like having an audition all the time but I don’t expect to have a theater full of audience. And though I wish to have more readers, it is not the goal.

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines Self-preservation as a natural or instinctive tendency to act so as to preserve one’s own existence.

It is a survival mechanism and the theme of a lot of movies especially when it involved a battle in whatever form. It is the ultimate bottom line reason of Victoria Grayson in the hit TV show Revenge.

It is very tempting to save face, to point the blame to someone, or to justify why I deserve more power, wealth, and fame than any body else or worst at the expense of someone.

Is selfless the antidote of the negative connotation of self-preservation? It could be, if selfless is done not because of self-inflicting suffering but to have honorary sacrifice. To devote oneself for the greater good and to spark a positive change just like the inspiration the great noble men have left us.