Sarah Jones is a 27-year-old former Bengals cheerleader and teacher who admitted to sleeping with a 17-year-old student in exchange for a sentence that included no jail time and would not require her to register as a sex offender, and then walked hand-in-hand out of the courthouse with the now 18-year-old young man who has since become her boyfriend, which is all another way of saying GUESS WHO’S GETTING A REALITY SHOW?

According to a well placed insider, 495 Productions, the creators of Jersey Shore, courted the 27-year-old, who finally admitted in a Kentucky court earlier this month that she had sex with the 17-year-old boy after months of vehemently denying any wrongdoing. Now Jones is being given her own reality TV show. [RadarOnline]

Well that certainly seems like an odd thing for her to do, considering she just said this to Dateline like a week ago:

“Yeah, what I did was wrong. And I feel guilty as to what happened and that other people were hurt in this in a sense from our families having to go through this.”

Look, everyone is going to go insane about this, which, know you, fine. I do not like the fact that this lady screwed a teenager and is apparently going to turn it into a big payday any more than the rest of the world, and I really don’t like the fact that there are television executives out there who watched her march down the courthouse steps with her barely legal child lover and thought “THIS IS RATINGS GOLD! HELEN, GET MY CHECKBOOK!,” but there is a very simple solution to prevent this kind of thing from happening: Don’t watch the show. If no one watches it, then it will get low ratings, then the advertising revenue will dry up, then it will get canceled and we can all wipe our hands of the matter. It may be too late to stop this particular travesty from happening, but if it fails miserably then hopefully the morally bankrupt TV people writing the checks will go actual bankrupt, and it will start to cut off the pipeline of this sort of trainwreck television altogether. Boom. Problem solved.

That said, I fully expect this to make it to air, get huge ratings, become a cultural phenomenon, and eventually get spoofed on South Park like Honey Boo Boo but with more spray tan. The whole thing depresses me, and it should depress you, too.

Here’s a video of a reporter getting pooped on by a bird at the World Series. Have a great day.

Just to be clear, I don’t think one article railing against something and telling people not to watch it if it bothers them is “just as much part of the problem” as TV producers bringing it into existence in the first place. I know my hands aren’t perfectly clean in the whole thing, but at least I’m trying to make the point that we can do something to stop it, as opposed to cynically hyping it on every goddamn billboard I can.

Also, every photo of this lady is either one of her cheerleading or a low-res one of her marching into/out of court (which could arguably be more titillating because LOOGIT THE CRIMINAL EVERYBODY). I actually picked one of the less ridiculous ones. I could have used the one of her in a sexy Santa outfit.

Look, I love the site, & I’m in the TV business and am not offended in the slightest by anything in this article. The best way to extinguish a fire is by not giving it oxygen & this seems somewhat oxygenated. It’s akin to Bible thumpers railing against whatever saucy-r-rated-movie-of-the-week that’s gotten their jaw out of whack. In the end, it just ends up doing the opposite of what they were trying to do in the first place. It puts more asses in the seats.

If you think Honey Boo-boo is the Antichrist, say nothing about her & she, eventually, will disappear…

The bigger story is when is Andersonn Cooper gonna cop to the fact that this girl punked the shit out of him a few months back on his show. He jumped up the dude that runs thedirty.com for printing all of this stuff about this girl that she cried about and said wasnt true.

Silver FOX owes drty.com dude an apology and he should have this girl back on show he can l;ose his shit on her for making him look like a moron.

It is interesting how reality shows seem to pretty much always be centered on horrible people. From The Real World to Joe Millionaire to The Hills to The Empire of Kardashia Jersey Shore to Honey Boo Boo. Probably only gonna be 5 or 10 years before we’re begging people not to watch the hot new reality show that stars Casey Anthony… though I guess that’s already come and gone, in a way.

Anyway, I’ve come to just accept that reality TV will always exist, and be unwatchable at best. Ten years ago it looked like a sure thing that all scripted television would die off and be replaced by cheap, successful reality shows; but so far that hasn’t happened, and I can only assume that it never will (because it probably would’ve happened by now), so I tolerate it and try not to give a damn.