Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The 15th Is Coming!!!

Well, I've decided that rockets will NOT be used to randomly generate winners. Too much damned work. So, I'm heading to Northgate Mall in Cincinnati this weekend, and I'll be taking with me one entry each, in the form of a 1x1 scrap of paper.

Why the mall?

I'll tell you why.

This particular mall has one of these...

...and I plan to toss them all in the air at some point near 60 MPH. I have no idea how this will work out, but essentially there's going to be a lot of grabbing at shit, midair, and the first 3 to be chosen will be the winners.

It should be interesting, and I am really hoping not to be arrested.

If, for some reason this plan doesn't work out, we're going with Contingency Plan Alpha, which involves explosives.

It's me. I just find weird, obscure shit and find a way to make it funny. Or at least try to.

Funny story about HOW I found this...there was a very, very unfortunate-looking lady there with her boyfriend/hubby and she got in. I'd never seen it before, so I stopped and gawked.

It was like Back to the Future. That thing hit 80 miles an hour or so and her wig got sucked off of her head and started blowing all around. Well, she wasn't having it, and she started trying to grab it...comically and unsuccessfully. Never occurred to her to just OPEN THE DOOR. So here she is, pink wig on the ground and her not small enough to get to it...cussing, clearly very pissed...it was hilarious.

So she gets out and her man-freind is laughing as hard as he can without having an aneurysm...and she is yelling at him and trying to find a bathroom to fix her wig (which, incidentally, looked like roadkill at this point) and the whole time I was thinking to myself, "Did she FORGET she had a wig on when she decided to get into a wind tunnel?"

I was DYING. I had to walk away before they realized I was there the whole time...it was epic. That may be the moment that I realized that many of the inhabitants of Cincinnati may have been exposed to some toxin or something....SO STUPID.