online dating

Okay guys, the name of my blog is “Did That Just Happen” because well, you just can’t make up the stuff that happens in my life.

This time; however, I will freely admit that I brought this on myself!

Well over a month ago, I was laying on the couch and a bit irritated at my boyfriend, Adam. It was a combination of all sorts of things, but the underlying factor was – he was leaving. He was moving away. And well, I had had fun with him! I was actually going to miss him – but, I also knew that I wanted to keep dating. I was at a good point in my life and Adam had shown me that it was possible for me to date, and well, that I was date-able!

So, you all know that I did my research… well here is what I left out… I was doing that research before Adam left. I thought that I would just get ahead of the game and fill out my profile in advance, and not activate it until he actually left town.

Yeah, it doesn’t work that way. Before I had even finished filling out my profile, there were dings and bells and notifications going off all over my phone!

I should have shut it down right then… but I figured it would take time to find someone – so let’s just go with it and see what happens!

Within the week I had Adam on the phone and it came up. So, he has known about it from the very beginning.

Yes, I had boundaries, I was very respectful of the fact that I still had a boyfriend – and guys, he was actually really active in my on-line dating search! All of those screen shots I’ve shared with you – I have them because I had sent them to him first!

It got to the point that if at least once a week I didn’t send him a screen shot and tell him how much I hated him (for leaving me and thus for the fact that I had to start dating again) that he didn’t feel his life was complete!

That was one of the many “I hate you” texts that Adam got from me!

I was having a meeting with some people that I’ve known for years, and the subject came up of how I accidentally signed up for on-line dating before Adam was gone, and they came up with a good idea – we agreed that since Adam was leaving, he should be responsible for finding his replacement!! 😀

I called Adam on the way home from the meeting and told him about our grand plans, he got a good chuckle out of it.

I told Adam that I was totally going to blog about all of this – but not share it until he left, because while he was here for all of it – it’s kinda hard to explain while I’m in the world of on-line dating while I still have a boyfriend – well, it’s hard to explain and not sound cray-cray!!

So, you see, he was involved, and really, really supportive. There was one guy that I thought I could be interested in, but really felt he was out of my league. And I don’t say that about much of anything, but I did about this guy – and Adam disagreed, he felt I should go for it. Seriously guys, it was the sweetest thing!

But, you know what’s coming:

This weekend Adam and I had a great time, we’ve been doing a lot of things he wanted to do before he left; and, after this weekend, we would only have 2 more together, so we are making the most of it. Apparently he had been dropping hints and I was just stepping right on over them. I never noticed. I have spent months getting ready for him to move, that it was my new reality and that was that.

Until all of the sudden the blinders came off, and it hit me.

He wasn’t moving. He was staying after all.

The couple of weeks prior to this, I had kept telling him that it wasn’t fair, because so much of his life had been falling into order, it wasn’t right that he had to leave.

And then, the family issues that were the primary reason he was leaving, well, they resolved themselves, and all of the sudden, he didn’t have to move if he didn’t want to. It actually began to make sense that he stay.

So, we talked. And yes, he is staying. And we’re still together.

When we were talking about him staying, I’m not kidding, I laughed so hard that I had tears rolling down my face when I realized that I had all of these blog posts written, and they HAD to be shared, they were too good not too, and then I was going to have to confess that I was dating while I had a boyfriend!

Yes, that just happened. I was doing the on-line dating scene while I still had a boyfriend! And, while it made for some good blog fodder, y’all, I’m so glad I don’t have to keep doing that!!!

I’ve been on-line dating for over a month now… and it does get better!

Okay, when I say “it gets better”, I don’t mean that all of the sudden I’ve found the secret formula to attract the right guy, but I say “it gets better” in that I have so much more to share with y’all!

What’s your number babe

For real?

And the transition right to “well, let’s hang out then”.

I sent back a page of my schedule that ended with basically, it’s a month before I’ll have any free time. And I fully expected that to be the end of him.

It wasn’t.

The guy went on to ask me 5,000,000,000 questions.

I’m not even exaggerating!

But, it gets better!

A few days later he messages me again… and very obviously isn’t paying a bit of attention.

Good to know? Good to know? What part of I was sick was good to know? I don’t even have an answer for that one!

Yeah, no. I just can’t even.

But wait – it gets better.

Enter a new beau. And he falls under the category of “Did you just say that?” I mean, I can’t tell you how long I stared at his message in disbelief. It’s not so much whether or not you have religious beliefs, it was just the disrespect he has towards those that do. Take a look.

I sent back to him that I found that comment out of line and didn’t want that attitude in my life. To which he responded “Ok”.

See – I told you it got better!!! I don’t think you can top these! But, rest assured, my fingers are in top form for taking screen shots just in case someone comes along who can top these!!

Speaking of top form – I do have a race this weekend. A 5k for the college my son attends, the alumni put it on every year, and I’m happy to be able to participate! I am not racing this one, I’m just having fun with it, so I hope to take lots of pictures – the school had a poster making day – and I can’t wait to see what they came up with! I’ve been staying at my parents house this week, and they say that hills make you stronger – but I swear the hills in my parents neighborhood are out to kill me.

You’re from Morocco… that’s nice, thanks for letting me know where you are from. What I care about is where you are now, though. Oh, still in Morocco? Yeah, no.

I’m pretty sure on-line dating isn’t for me! 😀 Through this process I have discovered, I really don’t like people asking me questions. And I really don’t like when they interrupt my day to ask them!

Now, I have messaged back and forth with some nice guys – a few have asked me out and I’ve been tempted, but it just wasn’t right. And there are a few that we are working towards friendship… well, a friendship that will last until I cancel my account! Which is coming. Soon. Very soon…

Not bad as opening lines go – but again, yeah, no.

I texted Adam about this one.

So, seduction guy, guys, I did actually try. He had mentioned lunch time fishing during our picnic at the lake (while he’s feeding me chocolate covered strawberries apparently) and so I messaged back that fishing at lunch time probably wasn’t going to catch us much, we should go in the morning time. I added some more stuff, you know, making general conversation. He came back with another laid back, laying around, relaxing and doing nothing type of message. So, I asked him if he ever actually did anything. He had two boys, but was always talking about just laying around the lake, or the beach and just listening to music and picnics. Did he actually ever do activities? I told him that I was running a 5k that weekend and then going over to a friends house to help out, and then I gave him an idea of my next couple of weekends, which were pretty busy – I told him that was what I was use to, I liked to be out “doing” things. Relaxing was fine, but just not every weekend!

I’m navigating the waters of the on-line dating pool. It’s been a few weeks now and I’ve perfected the art of my Invisibility Cloak – and how to pop that sucker on and off in a heartbeat!

What I’m not doing is getting frustrated at the messages – they are supposed to be a good thing! They aren’t driving me nuts at all!

*Insert eye roll*

Okay, you know they are driving me crazy, but they aren’t supposed to! I am supposed to be happy that they have reached out to get to know me – I mean – that’s the entire point!!!

Except this guy, I think this guy missed the “getting to know you memo”:

He went from “Hi” to “Let’s go out” in about 3.5 seconds! It was quite amazing and I have to wonder what his success rate is!

Because I’m me, I did mention that none of his profile was filled out, so that was another reason I was hesitant, a message with a blank profile is usually a fishing expedition and I’m not fond of that bait.

To which he replied:

Have you even answered any questions on here?

Okay Mr. ‘Tude, I got your number! I explained that I answered a ton of them, because it helps the algorithm out, and the more I answer the better results I get – Like the rest of life you get out what you put in! And since I put in a lot of effort, I was wondering what about my profile he liked best and what made him decide to contact me?

I figured that was the last of him, please kid, you don’t know who you’re dealing with! You can’t cop an attitude that I can’t beat – I deserve a crown for my attitude some days! Good OR Bad! 😀

Imagine my surprise when 10 minutes later he replied! I literally had to set the phone down cause I was laughing so hard – the kid went and read my profile (obviously for the first time) and came back and typed in a part of it back to me and told me that was what he liked about me and that’s why he contacted me.

Yeah, no. But nice try though! I’d give him points for the effort he took, but sadly, there was no amount of points to get him out of the hole he was in!!!

So, mostly I’m being amused – trying not to be frustrated – and… I may have found one, or two, that are worth getting to know!! Stay tuned!!

Running news: I’m actually looking for a 10k race to sign up for, I’d like to see where I stand. I’m also adjusting my food. I’ve had to increase my protein and iron (not surprising at all) and I’m playing with fueling for the long runs vs. just going out like normal. It’s been interesting and challenging, and I may or may not have walked around for a few days with an ice pack tied to my ankle every couple of hours… but you know – I’m a runner – we’re weird like that!

I did get an email that you could get the “paid” option for 20% off. I paid for one month and set up a reminder to cancel it! The paid option just gives me a bit more information about who is looking at me, and allows me to look at others in “incognito” mode – meaning I can stalk research and the guys won’t know I’ve visited their profile.

We shall see if either of those options come in handy!

So far, the BEST opening line (with original punctuation):

Roses are red violets are blue. Do you want a fun date or a Starbucks date for two?

Now, how do you resist that?

I responded and we’ve had some good conversations… he is 20 years younger than I am.

RULE #1: You have to be closer to my age than either my son or my parents age.

So far, the worst opening line (with original punctuation):

Good morning will you morning my beautiful city of Fort Worth Texas? You look very wonderful. I would like to be a friend of yours with the potential of being more. I am a fun, loving down to earth type of Guyd. Contact me when you get a chance?

Okay, I am not at all sure what he was trying to say in the beginning, and was that last line really supposed to be a question?

I didn’t respond to that one. There are some that I just haven’t responded to, because just like the one above, it didn’t look like a real person was sending it – call it spam, catfishing, or just fishing, it takes more than that to make me bite!

So far I’ve had several great message conversations, I’ve let a couple know that I didn’t feel we were compatible, and even more that are just sitting there never to be answered! (But I’ll leave them there so I can see if they contact me again!) (Not that I have issues or anything!) (Maybe a few!)

All in all, I feel it’s not bad for for the first week; but wow, it wears me out!! 🙂

Running is better. I switched to a more organic training program. Lots of tips are about “schedule” and I’ve found that I work better if I know what I want to do, and leave some flexibility about when I actually do it! Running a 5k this weekend… can’t wait to see my time!

If you are just joining us, my boyfriend is moving away and I’ve decided that I enjoyed dating him and want to keep dating – and in this day and age, that means, say it with me:

That’s right, Online Dating

I spent the weekend on-line reading every “Top 10 On-Line Dating Sites” article that I could find.

First off, I had no clue there were so many dating sites, and secondly, I had no clue how many articles had been written about them!!! I think my eyes started bleeding at one point, but I read them all!

Okay, no I didn’t, I read about 5 of them, figured that would give me a good sample!!

Now, I new I was ruling out E-Harmony, even though it frequently ranks at the top of the charts, it is more money than I’m willing to invest right now, and I did try that in the past – like 10 years ago – and the form you fill out took me three days! I’m not willing to invest that much time right now, either! Just keeping it real, I want to date, but apparently I don’t want to put in 3 days worth of effort!!

My first priority was looking at low cost/free sites. I know that you run a risk on those of weeding through more weirdo’s, but considering this is my first time to really dive in and mean it – I consider this my wading pool. I want to get my feet wet and not commit to the deep end just yet.

I narrowed it down. Found the site that fit my requirements and spent the time filling out my info, answering their questions and before I could even finish setting up my profile, already I was getting dings!

Okay, I am totally committed to this. I am going to keep an open mind and be engaging and friendly and yes, I am going to accept dates and meet strangers.

And just pray that they don’t shove me in the trunk of their car and kidnap me.

I have since updated my settings so that I don’t get an email every time a message or “like” comes in. It took me several minutes to get rid of all 102 emails! 🙂 Lesson learned!

Running is hit and miss. Not sure why I’ve struggled lately, okay, yes I do. I know exactly why I struggled. I had been over-training. I have forced myself to slow down, cut back on my mileage again and stop obsessing over the training plan! Well, the problem is that I followed the training plan… and then kept adding in my own miles on top of those… thus the injury and the struggle bus coming by to pick me up! “Slow and Steady wins the Race” is my new motto currently!

(I apologize for the email(s) you may have received yesterday that lead to a dead link, the button I wanted was right next to the “publish” button, and I totally hit the wrong button. Twice!)

One of my favorite people told me the other day “I’m so sorry, I haven’t had time to read your blog” and I was all “That’s okay, I stopped writing it!”

And I did, and I needed the break. I was serious when I told y’all that I wanted to live my life and not keep mental notes in my head of “Oh, I need to blog about this!”

The break did me good! But now, oh my gosh, I have stuff that has to be shared!! I mean, I would be doing every single one of you a disservice if I didn’t share it!

Last we spoke, Mr. T had started his freshman year in college, a friend of his was borrowing our guest room and I was dating Adam. You can catch up here if you are so inclined, but you aren’t missing anything if you don’t!

Humm… I can’t remember if I used his real name or not in my last post – but he isn’t active in social medial, so I can’t imagine it matters to him! He has social media, but he doesn’t even follow my Instagram account! Dude, we’ve been dating almost a year!

But let’s move on!

Mr. T is in his 2nd semester of first year and it is just awesome! He seems to be doing so well, and he really enjoys it – and he is still cheering! In fact, if you follow me on aforementioned IG account, you’d be over-run with pictures from the last two competitions we attended!

It’s pretty awesome. Both events were out of state, and I got to stay with one of my best friends in the world – it was worth the extra drive to get back and forth!

Mr. T’s friend who was borrowing the guest room moved out.

And moved back in 2 weeks later. He is paying rent now. We are working on getting him moving forward in his life. He talks about all these grand plans, and I’m a task master helping to keep him on track!

Adam and I have been together almost a year – and guys, it was awesome. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was a great relationship. We were open with each other, we laughed, we adjusted and adapted. I learned some good lessons about myself during this time.

Have you noticed that I am using the past tense?

He is moving away. Just a few weeks shy of our 1 year anniversary, he is moving.

I’m not even upset – it’s for family, and it is the right move for him to make. We’ve spent the last couple of weeks letting those in our life know, and now I’m sharing it with you! I will miss him terribly, and he feels the same. In fact, we both decided that his mourning period should last about 6 month. We feel that is how long it should take to get over me.

Okay, I feel that is how long it should take. He just humors me by agreeing!

But, you know what this means?

That’s right.

Online dating is coming!! And you’re coming along for the ride!

You’re welcome. 🙂

For those runners out there – I’ve complete two races, one virtual and one in real life – both 5k’s. And now I’m training for a 10k. I’ve been working on increasing my mileage and I’ve hit week 11 of my training program, after having to take a week off, and then a recovery week – apparently I was pushing myself a bit too hard and my body rebelled! I’m feeling better, I’m dealing with a medial ankle pain, trying to determine if it’s fallen arch or a nerve – it’s kinda in between the two symptom wise – but RICE is my friend, I’m doing ice compression at least once a day, and twice if I’ve done a run that is 5 or 6 miles long.