Thursday, December 19, 2013

For the love of Lucy! I am a supporter of the Bill of Rights as much as the next guy. I believe in all of them, I don't pick and choose. As many of you may have heard Phil Robertson has been suspended from the show "Duck Dynasty" to which he owes his fame, and has provided America with a weekly dose of bearded men, doing bearded men things.

Apparently he was interviewed for GQ magazine and went on record as stating that homosexuality is a sinful lifestyle, and he can't imagine a man choosing an anus over a glistening, meaty vagina. And yes he did actually say just that (minus the meaty and glistening bit). He was then suspended by his network for the rest of the season. Everyone is up in arms about his "freedom of speech" being taken away. And the "freedom of speech" being removed from God and homosexual fearing Christians all over this country.

Ok assholes, it's time for a civics lesson. The Bill of Rights is designed to protect you from one entity, and one entity only. The federal government. Over the years court decisions have determined that these protections also limit the authority of local and state governments as well. In the decade that I have been voting I never recall checking a ballot for the CEO or board of directors at A&E.

Simply put, he works for A&E. Any interviews with any media outlets are an extension of his work at A&E. GQ did not interview Phil for any other reason. Although there is some grumbling that a staff writer may have mentioned that his beard "was stuffed full of lice and sexy" but that cannot be confirmed nor denied.

NO civil rights were infringed in this matter. The government didn't send out their Anti-Jesus hit squads to track him down. His employer smacked his pee-pee for saying something that (newsflash) the majority of the country doesn't agree with. Interestingly enough this is a completely different form of pee-pee slapping Phil spoke out against.

Yes, a whole lot of Americans agree with him, because the Bible says it's so. But I would like to ask how many of those Americans also don't eat pork, shellfish, or wear clothing woven of more than one cloth. Yeah, that's right, I thought so.

So in summation, Phil makes some bigoted comments, hiding behind the guise of a religion that maintains everyone should be loved, and is created in the image of God. Except for those dirty fags. His employer did not appreciate being implicated in the statements so they suspended him. And not the Religious Right is crying that the civil liberties of all Christians are being stripped away.

Please, please, if you are going to come out and cry about a perceived infringement of civil liberties, learn what the hell you are talking about. Because some day, we are going to be fighting for the same cause, and I don't want to be stating my case surrounded by morons. America loves gays, get over it.

Oh, and for the love of Pete (not gay love, because that's icky) stop comparing this to slavery or the acts of Hitler. Every time I hear that I get the uncontrollable urge to kick a kitten. Please stop, nothing in modern politics compares to slavery or the holocaust. And I am starting to run out of kittens. Can't everyone cut back on the hyperbolic bullshit and stop using your religion to tell me why I should marginalize a group of people in the same way you do. Stop using God to justify your actions to others, simply so you can feel better about yourself.