Category Archives: Jokes

At the end of a tiny deserted bar in downtown Detroit sat a huge black man. He was having a few beers when a short, well dressed, and obviously gay man walked in and sat beside him.

After three or four beers, the gay man got the courage to say a few words to the big black man.

Leaning over towards him, he whispered, “Do you want a blow job?”

At this, the massive black man leaped up with fire in his eyes, and smacked the crap out of the gay man, knocking him swiftly off his stool. He proceeded to beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving him bruised and battered in the parking lot and returned to his seat.

Amazed, the bartender quickly brought over another beer to the black man and said, “I’ve never seen you react like that. What did he say to you?”

Like this:

This test is intended exclusively for straight, red-blooded U.S. Males.

Please answer each question below as quickly and honestly as possible.

If you answer more than zero questions either “A” or “B” you must turn in your American Manly Men membership card at the nearest Curves Fitness Center

In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Riding the baloney pony all the way to tuna town.

You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you have both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you have just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $700 extra.

Your wife/girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. I hope we can still be friends.
B. I’m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.
C. Welcome to Dumpsville, USA. Population, YOU.

A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Muchas Gracias to Geno The Magnificent for sending this one in over the transom.

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlo.

Poor Carlo. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlo quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.

He bent over to pick it up…….. and all the other bells started to ring.