This is a Criss/Colfer RPF with a little twist. It is in 2nd person, and the main character is YOU. Except you are a member of Starkid. You switch bodies with Darren Criss. I own nothing Glee or Starkid. Enjoy.

Darren and Heather rushed back to Starkid residence as fast as they could, the sexual mood completely destroyed. Since they were in a taxi, they really didn't have much of a choice but to wait and worry, Darren fidgeting his leg willing the it to go faster. At least Julia said to meet them back at the loft rather than the night club.

Darren realized with unease that Julia was very vague on the phone about what trouble Chris and their fellow Starkid got themselves into. And the worst part about it was that everyone thought that his fellow Starkid was Darren, so everything she did reflected upon him.

Darren tried not to worry because he knew for sure that Chris was a really rational person, so he wasn't expecting anything too horrible to come from this situation, but this thought alone couldn't calm his fears. Not by a long shot. There was so much at stake already without the whole supernatural thing being put in the mix. This was all so aggravating and stressful! Darren just wanted it to stop, and possibly find some way to even explain the madness to his closest friends.

Darren bit the fingernails that weren't his while Heather rubbed his thigh soothingly. "I'm sure it's not that bad," she assured in a soft voice. "Darren and Chris are smart. And plus they have bodyguards. I'm sure whatever it is won't be that big of a deal."

Darren wanted to believe her, he really did. But his fellow Starkid wasn't used to widespread fame. She and Chris could have slipped off somewhere to make out or something, and their personnel weren't there to help them as they got mugged! Oh god, the horrible possibilities!

After 20 or so minutes, they finally arrived, and Darren nearly tripped out of the taxi and out onto the curb, forgetting he was wearing high heels. He swiped his keycard and punched the code before throwing open the gate, Heather hot on his trail.

They made their way to the front door, panting and adjusting their clothing before striding into the condo and peering around. To Darren's relief he saw everyone, as well as Chris and his fellow Starkid, seemingly unscathed.

However, the room was uncomfortably still; all were sitting awkwardly in the living room again, watching Darren and Heather warily. It was reminiscent of the time Mia came over and they had to explain that Chris and Darren were dating. However, the atmosphere of the room was a lot heavier this time with much more of an edge.

"Where'd you guys go," Joe asked, with a hint of a smile. Brolden was smirking, brofisting Joe out of sight.

"We.. we just, er-"

"It's none of your business," Heather answered smoothly, before primly sitting on the edge of an armchair. "What's going on guys?"

Everyone looked to Chris and the impostor 'Darren', but both were hiding their faces, ashamed of themselves. Nobody said anything for the longest time. Darren was starting to get on edge, his spine itching with anxiety. His clothes were hugging in the wrong areas right now to be comfortable.

"Fine, if nobody is going to fess up and say anything, I will!" Julia interjected into the silence. Darren had never heard her so angry before. Not even when they used to date and they got into those rare arguments.

"Darren and Chris here threw caution into the wind and out of the window as they fucked in the bathroom stall at the club," she informed in a hard voice. Chris buried his face even further, the color of shame heating his neck.

"What?" Darren yelled, alarmed. Him and Chris had never done anything so spontaneous.. For one horrible moment, Darren worried that Chris might like his fellow Starkid better, even though Chris probably couldn't tell the difference. Shit. Fuck everything.

"Careless, I know," Julia agreed, misinterpreting Darren's expression. "Well anyway, someone who worked for a tabloid caught some of their shenanigans on tape, and are now threatening to out Darren and Chris unless they provide the man with a large sum of money."

Darren felt his heart drop. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. He didn't want to be outed like that. He would look weak. Like a coward. He wanted to some day really come to terms with his sexuality, and publicly come out as a romantic, grandiose gesture to Chris, probably long after Glee had finished. Now he was under the gun, forced to either come out because people are making him, and also because he doesn't want to disappoint Chris.

"What were you thinking?" Darren demanded his fellow Starkid. "And you Chris? I would never expect this of you!"

It made Darren's heart hurt to see Chris so angry with him, even though Chris had no idea it was Darren trapped in his fellow Starkid's body. Darren rounded on her, who was mimicking frightened wide eyes through Darren's face.

"You should know of the consequences and how your actions affect other people too!" Darren scolded angrily. He absolutely couldn't believe this was happening. His fellow Starkid looked like she wanted to sink through the floor and disappear forever. It almost made him feel some sympathy for her. Almost.

"I know, Dar-I'm really sorry! I didn't know what I was thinking!" She finally found in herself to defend.

"You were thinking with your dick!" Darren positively snarled. "You couldn't keep it in your pants for one second before deciding to stick it in-"

"We were drunk!" Chris defended with an almost growling edge to his voice. "I'm sorry that gay sex repulses you so much!"

"It doesn't," Darren felt like he was slapped in the face. This was all going wrong. A total misinterpretation. He was now making his fellow Starkid look like a jackass. I guess they were even now, Darren reasoned with himself.

"Everything would have just been fine if Darren didn't have to decide to be gay all of a sudden," Julia exclaimed in the heat of the battle. The whole room went silent, the demeaning of Darren's sexuality resounding off the walls.

Her face changed instantly from anger to regret and pure remorse. "I'm really sorry, Darren, I didn't mean it that way-"

Darren gaped at her, but his fellow Starkid put up her hand (well his) as a gesture of forgiveness. "No, it's fine. I get it. I've stirred the pot a little." She took a deep breath, taking one of Chris' hands into hers. It made Darren's eye twitch. "I'm most sorry of all to you, Chris. This is going to give us unwanted attention."

Chris touched her face, and Darren cringed. He's supposed to be touching my face like that.

"It's okay, Dare, we'll figure this out." They looked each other like there was nobody else in the room. With each passing second, the tension built inside Darren, because he felt like somebody was trying to steal Chris away from him. Well Darren couldn't have that. Chris was his.

"So how much does the reporter want anyway," Darren interrupted for the task at hand.

Chris looked at the floor. "One million dollars."

Darren spluttered. "O-one.. one million dollars? You've got be joking!" He started to pace. "This tabloid reporter is acting like we're super high-paid Hollywood actors or something! I'm just some-"

Chris thankfully interjected into Darren's incriminating out-loud thoughts. "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but you're making this sound like it's your problem."

Darren stopped pacing and faced Chris. The look in his eyes was unfamiliarity and hesitance. Darren just hated it. He didn't want to be a stranger to Chris anymore. He wanted to be his lover and boyfriend again. But he couldn't. This just wasn't fair.

"I guess we're close, I dunno," Darren sniffled a little, side-glancing at his tense fellow Starkid. "We look out for our own. Sorry I freaked out a little."

Chris' reassuring smile only calmed Darren slightly, because in reality they really couldn't figure this all out together. Not when him and her were sharing this secret. A secret that was utterly unexplainable and would probably land them both in the loony bin.

"Can I speak to D-Darren alone?" Darren asked, looking nervously at her. She rose his eyebrow in response, but nodded understandingly. Chris squeezed her hand and it made Darren want to cry, but he really needed to keep himself together.

They walked silently to Darren's bedroom, Darren limping because damn those heels really did a number. That's something he never wanted to do again, even if he were ever blessed enough to return to his body.

Oh god, what if he was going to be like this forever?

Darren tried to shove his panic down for a couple of seconds to talk coherently, but his fellow Starkid beat him to the punch, demanding in a voice that Darren rarely used.

"Where were you really?"

"I was with Heather," Darren retorted obviously. "What's it matter to you?"

She shook her head disbelievingly. "Because you're me, and whatever you do, people will think it's me!"

Darren's lip curled, "It's nice to see you look out for yourself, but I really wish you used your little bit of logic since now you've got my ass in a bind!"

She ignored him, glaring accusingly. "So you were fucking Heather weren't you! Now everyone is going to think I'm a lesbian!"

Darren threw his arms up into the air frustratedly. "Who cares? I at least helped put yourself out there, because you don't do it for yourself!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," she said through clenched teeth.

"You hide," Darren exclaimed. "I've seen you the most alive when you were me, and that's just sad! I dressed you up tonight so people would actually notice you more than normal. I'm doing you a favor, and this is how you repay me!"

Tears splashed her cheeks, and Darren's stomach fell in a swoop. It was so odd seeing himself cry like that, especially reflected through her own natural tendencies. Darren suddenly felt overwhelmingly guilty, pulling her into his arms.

Yes, it was strange because he was basically stroking his own back as she cuddled into her own breasts, but he forgot all that. Sure it had been curious and interesting at first because of their situation, but now it was really bad.

How were they supposed to switch back? What would happen if they never did? Would they have to just deal with it and turn into the person they were forced to become? Or would they be exposed eventually, then taken away to be dissected by some moraless experimenter?

There were so many questions and no answers.

"C'mon," Darren whispered after a while, once his fellow Starkid had calmed down. "Let's go join the rest and figure this out, and hopefully this too."

It seemed like it couldn't get any worse when they re-opened the door they saw Chris outside of it, hunched awkwardly like he was listening. Darren's heart dropped to his ass as he let out an exasperated, "Chris!"

Chris straightened up and folded his arms. "I had a feeling that something was up, and now I know for sure."

Darren gulped. This was it.

"You two are seeing each other," Chris bit out, his eyes flashing furiously. "That's why you guys run off all the time! That's why you are so involved with our personal lives."

"What no-"

Chris jabbed Darren into the chest, and then turned to his fellow Starkid, expression softening. "I'm sorry Darren, but we're over."

He turned to leave, but she grabbed his shoulder forcing him to stay in place.

"No," she begged. "Please don't do this. This isn't Darren's fault."

Chris looked at her like she was an idiot. "Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?"

Darren froze completely. They were caught, and Chris was going to dump him for sure now. Darren's lungs screamed for air as he watched her take a deep breath, the incriminating words bound to come in seconds.

"It's because I'm not Darren," she confessed, her body sagging and looking more like her than Darren's by far.

Chris stared, the corner of his mouth twitching and Darren couldn't tell if it was disbelief or amusement. "Yes you are?"

She looked like she didn't know what else to say, because yes, it sounded absolutely insane, so Darren let his breath out in a rush.

"Chris babe, it's me," Darren said warmly, cursing the sound of the foreign voice that wasn't his. "I'll do anything to prove it to you."

Chris looked like his brain was going to explode. Like he was trying to piece together a puzzle piece that came from two separate boxes. "So you're saying, you've switched bodies."

"Pretty much, yeah."

There was the longest silence and they both felt like the walls would close in when Chris started laughing maniacally until tears collected on the corner of his lashes.