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Father

I use this phrase very often in my life when I still knew that there is no life without worries…

Every person has to live their life irrespective of whatever happens in their life…

When I used to be a child I don’t think I would have any worries… But when I think deep I could realize that I too was worried about various instances like losing my pencil, crying for a Barbie doll, starting up silly fights with our friends etc.,But these worries make us smile whenever we think about it.. If all our worries could make us smile one day which makes us to cherish our memories how pleasant it would be…

Though we think of having such sweet memories of worries we still have some painful worries which will turn out to be haunting memories when we recollect them… I have one such worry which still stays the same or even gets increased whenever I think of it… I was in my 6th grade… I was in my first day of class when my new class teacher introduced herself and asked each and every student in the class to get introduced with basic information’s. All my friends were saying about their name, their parents name, what is their parents occupation and where they are coming from. When it was my turn I just started off with my name, my mom’s name, my uncles name, what my mom is doing, what my uncle is doing that’s when the teacher stopped me and said,

“Child, you must also include your father’s name and occupation so that we could get to know him too”

I was really puzzled like what I have to say and how to say because all I knew about a father is that his name and that I don’t have one.

“Miss, I don’t have father, I dono where he is because my mother said he expired. I only know my uncle, my mother, grandmother and aunt” I said.

I think the teacher understood what I was trying to say, so she passed on to the next student without any further questions. But I was not able to let it go off so easily. Till my 5th grade none of my teachers used to ask me anything about my father and so I had no chance of thinking about him. And when my friends speak about their father I always remember speaking about my uncle. As I had my uncle I didn’t worry much about not having a father. But then I understood that I am a grownup girl and I have to get to know about my father. Since then I was trying to investigate about my father at my home every now and then by asking about my father to my grandma who only speaks about him to me as the others never speak off him thinking I would start yearning for his love. Though I asked many questions to my grandma she answered only a few which was not enough for me.

“Grandma, where is my dad?”

“He is in heaven baby”

Why he went there?”

“Because God wanted him to be with him so he took him”

“But we also want dad na? I always find my friend’s father’s dropping them at school, buying them all they need. But only uncle or mom drops me or buy me what I need. I also want dad to buy and give me toys na? God doesn’t have his own dad huh?”

“No dear. A good person always goes soon to God to serve him. Whatever you need you just ask us because your father left you with us to do all the things he needs to do”

“Will my dad look like Lord Ganesha?”

“No dear. But you can always find you dad’s presence near Lord Ganesha”

Though I have seen my parent’s wedding album after my 10th grade I used to think of him every single time when I pray Lord Ganesha. I felt happy and even proud that only my dad got the chance to stay near God while others dad where not able to go and I haven’t said this to anyone though.

We find our self more innocent in our childhood days once when we grow up. What once we thought of a gift turns out to be a terrible pain by hitting us with the reality harder than we think.

When I was growing I slowly realized that I was a girl who’s father expired 3 months before her birth by getting all kinds of curse’s from the merciless world for being born with her father killed. Every relative I knew knowingly or unknowingly blamed me for my father’s death which made me think me as a murderer. At this time I also lost my grandma who used to speak with me about my father. I had no courage to go and ask my mother about this thinking she would be worried.

But an incident before few days made me heart-breaking. My dad’s big brother fell sick and expired due to unhealthy diet. When I went for the funeral every single person who came there saw me and expressed their grief in the same manner saying “You lost your father before your birth. But how unlucky, you lost your uncle too now”… The truth is my uncle doesn’t even care about me or my mother till his death which I was surprised to find not even a single person could understand.

Above all my aunt (my passed away uncle’s wife) started crying when she saw me saying “you killed your father and now see you have also killed your uncle. What is my family going to do without your uncle?”

I was into a great shock. How on earth could I be the reason for killing my dad and my uncle? My dad met with an accident unfortunately and my uncle had very bad eating habits which was the real reasons. But still I had to take the blame of killing two people in my family which makes me feel real bad.

When such things have to happen in our life only then we are not able to digest the phrase “HAKUNA MATATA” because though we think of not letting any worries stay in our mind or letting the worries go off there are some worries which creates a painful memory in our heart making us remember these moments or worries every single minute of our life.

But still I try to get out of these by uttering this phrase very often. And it is my wallpaper in my mobile and lap too with a hope off making my worries into NO WORRIES…

“Dad why don’t you try to understand us. We haven’t done anything crime. Please dad we love each other for the past 5 years and you knew it well. Why can’t you accept us dad?” pleaded Janaha with tears running down all over her face.

“Just forget that rouge you idiot. I am just leaving you alive based on some kindness as you are my daughter. Get out of my sight and never again speak of him” yelled Vasudev at his daughter.

“Dad please. It’s been 5 long years ever since we started begging for our life and why can’t you even consider us once in your life? How long do you think of house-arresting me? Though we both knew everything what you’re been doing to separate us, we trust each other and thus our love becomes stronger each and every day not even seeing each other for the past 8months.”

“Shut up your blabbering and go in Janaha. Don’t make me take a tough decision”

“What do you mean by tough decision dad? Are you gonna kill me?”

“I said you to go in now!”

“Stop it dad. I’m done with all your dramatic expressions. Why don’t you act a bit human? Whats your problem dad? Mithun is our neighbor and you knew him well from his childhood. And above all he is our caste too. What is that hinders you from accepting our love. It’s just your useless ego that made us shed tears with all the tortures that we’ve been through. Everything has a limit dad. He means a lot to me. And now do listen carefully dad. I love him and I no more gonna wait for your approval. It’s my life and being 24 years of age I have the sole right to take my own decision. I waited so long for your approval but everything went in vein. So I’ve made my decision and I need you to get to know this dad”

“Well done my girl. That takes a lot of courage to you to speak up to your dad like that. I’d appreciate it. But don’t act lame and just get to bed now. I can find you all grown up now and stand here threatening your dad but you haven’t understood the fact that you can never do anything that makes me or my prestige by letting it down. I am least cared about your immature love feelings and all. Now go to your bed” ordered Vasudev in a mystifying tone.

Janaha knew it well that there is nothing gonna change her dad anyways. So she decided to elope with Mithun finally with everything kept ready before hand with a secret message which she passed out to her love a week before. And for a final try she was standing there pleading her dad for his acceptance. Finding her dad’s decision she left to her room silently and locked her up as usual and started to wait for the time to struck 1 a.m.

And the time has come. The clock struck 1 a.m. and Janaha got up from her bed and tried to elope through the secret passage which Mithun has made for her escape. He is been waiting on the other end of the passage for more than a hour restless with fear running all over his veins and when he saw the clock striking 1 a.m. his heart begun pounding as though it might jump off through his mouth.

Janaha kept each of her steps with more care and made sure that nobody watches her until she reaches that passage. Once she reached the passage she is free from worries as none of their family can find that passage so easily. She was moving ahead with a nostalgic feeling that was filled over her whole body and she was sweating like a dead meat with all the fear in her heart.

All of a sudden she experienced an electric shock that passed over her body and she fell down to the ground with a loud noise. Unluckily she had stepped on the electric wire which is been kept half done. Somehow she managed to get up and move forward to the passage. In the mean time hearing the noise her dad and her brother got up and came out looking for the reason and found her trying to escape.

Vasudev and Varun went to the peak of rage and they caught her red-handed and dragged her inside the home.

“You little brat. How dare you try to elope with that worthless fellow by cheating us? Who gave you so much courage to do this? Is it Mithun? Now its time for me to payback to both of you. Enough of my lenience. Even if I don’t react now, I have to stand mortified in front of my relatives and friends because of you. Varun get that venom from the freezer.” Yelled Vasudev at his son.

“Dad, are you serious? Should I really take it?” asked varun puzzled.

“Yes varun. I mean it. Just do what I say and no more questions”

“Ok dad” said Varun and bought the venom.

After all these fury Janaha made no hustle and she stood there tough.

“Look at her. How stubborn she is? It’s not going to happen any better leaving her alive. She will be creating shame to us and our family only” saying so Vasudev compelled her to drink the venom and he threw it away emptying the full content of the venom into her throat.

Janaha was still brave and she didn’t make any move for rescuing herself. Instead she spoke her last words with much strain which made her father turn pale.

“Bravo dad. You’ve done it. You have succeeded in you ego and useless stature. But you know what? Even now I have won the battle. You can kill me now but you cannot stop me and Mithun living happily after our death. And just remember dad. Lovers die and not the true love and it lives forever. Am proud of dying for the sake of our great love. Thanks dad” saying so died Janaha creating an epic for her true love.

Mithun stood there, on the other side of the passage, waiting for Janaha’s arrival till the crack of dawn with a lot of emotions and thoughts running through his mind. Hearing the expression of grief from Janaha’s mom he rushed in her home and found Janaha lying there speechless and frozen. Thus ended his life of joy and pleasure and unable to take over the huge shock he turned out to be upset mentally and he was found laying over the grave of Janaha for 4 long years unaware of who he is and where he is and finally one day his soul left his body and united with his love after so long years of battle and rivalry. Thus lived the most beautiful lovers of the earth blissfully ever after in the kingdom of heaven without any interference.

Note:This is an actual anecdote of a couple, who are a relative of mine, who lived in interiors of South India in early 80’s where the caste and status played the major role in the minds of human beings. I have heard a lot about them and their sufferings to succeed in love from my parents which is so hard to put into words and thus I have made it in short and presented it for all of you on this Valentines Day. This post is dedicated to both of them and I hope they will still love each other. Happy Valentines Day!