Californium nitricum: I feel like a fragmentation bomb

by Resie Moonen

The patient is a woman born in 1959. “I am stuck in my life.
My son has a diagnosis of ADD and due to that I started to read all about it. I
recognise myself in the ADHD picture. I take in too much and I have stored too
much inside me. I am highly sensitive, I pick up too much stimulus, and I’m too
acute in hearing, seeing, smelling; I feel the energy of other people. I flow
into others and then too much comes into me. If there are too many people or
too much busyness, then I pick up too much and lose myself; that’s when I have
to retreat. It just happens, otherwise I don’t manage. If something comes from
the outside then it is a great chaos inside me. I become forgetful and I get
lost in my own chaos. If it is too much for me, I try to bring some structure
into my life but I don’t manage to.”

“On one hand, I have a lot of impulses; I can be very
enthusiastic, like a headless chicken. On the other hand, there can be no impulse
at all. It is a mood disorder: either I am really fiery or really apathetic.
The psychiatrist diagnosed ADHD recently, I recognise myself completely in the
diagnosis of adult ADHD. “

“I have no filter. I hate the idea of psycho-pharmacy. I took Ritalin a few times but it turned me
into a zombie; everything became dull and there was only a mist in my head. I
couldn’t use my mind anymore; I was slow and had no impulses at all anymore. It
was like a narrow street with no colours, a terrible state to be in. It’s such
a pity for all those children who have to use it and who can’t explain how they
feel.”

She worked as a psychiatric nurse on a crisis intervention
ward. The job was very heavy, with a lot of research and many new protocols to
be implemented. She felt like the only woman in an underdog position. She has,
however, “burst through all the barriers”, even when she was pregnant with her
son. After coming back from pregnancy leave, she had a complete burn-out and
she finally stayed home on a sickness benefit. She loves to dance and she can
relieve her tensions that way.

“With the speed come the chaos and the multiplicity of
impulses. It is as though everything goes faster! Through doing yoga, I have
more contact with myself but it is still just “tricks” for me. I am a lively,
associative, creative, and mobile person.” During the conversation her arms are
going in all directions, away from each other. I ask her to repeat that motion.
She says: “This is my essence: there is a core but it bursts apart like a
fragmentation bomb or like firework, splintered. My centre bursts apart, it
explodes. My whole life, I have been fighting an invisible enemy. I want to
find a place that suits me and to be able to let go of the feeling that no
matter how hard I try to do my best, I feel guilty if it doesn’t work out. I
always looked for the cause of that failure in myself, taking on all the
responsibility. I have fought an uphill battle, trying to be different than I
am and it has made me very unhappy.”

“Sometimes there is a quiet place in myself, a valley; that’s
me, too. It is quiet there; a base, a little nest. That’s where I need to look,
that’s where everything begins and ends. I have always worked so incredibly
hard!”

After 2 months:
“So much has changed! It has become quiet inside me. For the first time, I have
the peace of mind to enjoy myself. I am so much more content with myself.
Before that, I felt that I was never good enough. Now, I feel lively, colourful,
and wise. I can now feel “this is me!” and be happy with it. I am much more
connected to my core and I enjoy that.”

Tell me about the “core”: “It is like a soft fluid ball that stays
together. Everything is in it but it stays together! My inner stream is stronger
and there is less chaos.”

Prescription: continue with Californium nitricum 200C, once per 2
weeks.

After 4 and a half months:
“It is going well, I am much less fiery. I am less often pulled out of my
centre. I have contact with an inner stream of energy but it is not so
fragmented. I am much less chaotic, jumping from one thing to another; I
experience a peace in myself. The core is wrapped up. It is a moving core but
now it is as though there is a protective film around it so that the energy
can’t fly out in all directions. There is something changing intensely. I
always wrestled with myself, always made the wrong choices, doing that used to
give me a kick. Now, I need to do that differently. I orient myself towards my
work now. In my family, too, there is more peace now and for the first time I
am enjoying that. The peace is so important for the children. For the first
time, I feel my own base and I enjoy it!
My physical complaints are much less: my joints don’t hurt as much and
my heart is quiet.”

After one year:
“I am completely centred. There is stability, sturdiness in me. I can manage my
energy much better, hold onto it longer, which gives me more energy. In the
past, I used to lose myself in things, go too deeply and intensely into them
and then there was nothing left for me. This is an enormous improvement, now I
am here, in every way, even if there is a lot going on around me. I used to
have to focus on one thing, like a tunnel vision, and then I lost sight of the
rest, but now I can oversee it all at once and that feels really good. I am
much more present for the children and that is good for them, too. It is going
much better with my hormones; no more
menopausal complaints, no more flushes, my moods are good, I feel stable. My
periods are now less regular but they don’t give me problems, either before or
after. My muscles, which used to be so cramped, are less tight and they don’t
hurt. I don’t have any heart rhythm irregularities anymore. I stay in my own
centre, I don’t lose my energy; it doesn’t shoot out in every direction
anymore. I work two days a week in a stillness centre and I give massages
there. I’d like to do that more. I enjoy the contact with people, I’m beginning
to trust that I’m good at it.

6th follow-up:
Still centred, good energy. Menses
regular, no complaints at all. Joints are good, no heart rhythm complaints,
sleep is good. “I don’t feel like I am splintering anymore, that’s not going to
happen to me. My energy is much better, I am busy expanding my work and I have
more confidence in it. It is as though the remedy has brought something into my
memory, something really good.” Quality of life? I’d say 85. I think it is higher
than that but I don’t’ want to say so, just in case!”

Prescription: Californium nitricum, if needed.

Californium nitricum

Actinides:

- all are radioactive

- the element falls apart by bombarding it, then it makes
new elements

- characteristics: sensitive, feels acutely

Stage 12:

-overacting, overshooting, exaggerating

- everything is against me, an invisible enemy

- falling apart (disunite). I have lost everything in my
life because of the chaos in me!

Yes, I really liked the similarity of symptoms of the patient and the basic nature of that compound. If we find such patient, we will never miss the similimum. I'm currently not in practice but I am very keen to know these for setting my practice. Thanks a lot,

Last Edit: November 30, 2010, 21:55:33 by mache

Posts: 4

californium choiceReply #3 on : Mon November 22, 2010, 12:09:26

What is interesting to say about this case is that I published the case immediately on the Similia forum site in the Netherlands, where we can discuss cases together. The sugestions I had from different colleages helped me to choose the right remedy for this woman. Especially I want to thank Margriet Plouvier, we helped me to decide between Curium and the 2 different Californiums 249 and 252. Also she told me Helios has them in stock. Thanks also for all the work that is done by the editors of the Intherhomeopathy site: together we can form and evaluate our ideas, especially about the newer remedies!

Posts: 4

answer to questionReply #2 on : Tue November 02, 2010, 12:54:49

CALIFORNIUM 249 is an Actinide, stage 12 of the periodic system.
The transurane elements with the atom number of 93 and higher can only be produced by a nuclear power station. Californium does not exist in free form on earth. It is produced by bombing lighter nuclear elements, for example Curium, with neutrons.
Californium was made by scientist, working at Berkeley University, and they gave it the name of the state California.
Californium is extremely radio-active. One microgram can send out 170 million neutrons per minute. Junctions with Californium are used as neutron bombs.

I have chosen for Californium because of the stage 12 symptoms, especially because the symptoms started in a period of her life, that she had to defend herself, she felt attacked all the time, and she completely overdid en over-acted, and went over her boarders. What she tells about her centre, completely outgoing in all directions, and with enormous energy, is identical with the Californium element.
I have chosen for the Nictricum element because of the explosiveness in her, the expansion, her over-enthusiasm, and over-impulsive reactions, but no rest to enjoy.
I could get the Californium (249) nitricum 200K at the Helios Homeopathic Pharmacy.

Posts: 4

Californium NitrucumReply #1 on : Mon November 01, 2010, 17:46:45

What is written is consistent with my experience with Plutonium Nitricum, but I am not familiar with Californium Nitricum. What is it and where did you acquire it? Thank you.