Valentine’s Day Horror Stories

Valentine’s Day horror stories

We asked for your horror stories. You sent them in—an alarming number of soul-crushing disappointments, gut-wrenching heartbreaks, and plain grotesque weirdness on V-Day.
After writing this article, I’m pretty sure I will just stay in my apartment on Valentine’s Day and watch whatever is on Nat Geo or Showtime. I suggest you do the same. In your own apartment, I mean, not mine.
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Stoic Goodbye

From Courtney: “I had been dating this guy on and off for about four years. We had a history of having really unfortunate Valentine’s Days. I was usually at school and we missed the chance to hang out or we ended up fighting about how I couldn't break away from school to come home for the event. Finally during my senior year of college, Valentines' Day fell on a Saturday so I went home. I had spent the week picking out a perfect gift and even paid extra to have it shipped to me on time. I made the hour and a half drive home to spend the weekend with him. We had a pretty good day, relaxing, and at the end of the night he walked me out to my car so I could drive back to school. I had just gotten in my car and Derek was leaning on the door to say good bye. I was just about to say that I'd had a great time when he said ‘Well, I wanted us to finally have a good Valentine’s Day, and we did. But I think this is going to be it for us,’ and then he closed my car door.”
Classy dude!
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Yoga Injury

From Jasmine: “In NYC, I was in the midst of a budding romance with a young Doctor who worked at NYU hospital. We were doing a partner yoga class with quite a bit of acrobatics involved. (See attached for pics of this kind of yoga) He was not very experienced with this kind of yoga. I was balancing my body on top of his legs and he proceeded to lose his balance and he dropped my whole body on the floor....my knees slammed right into the hardwood yoga studio floor. I was limping all night and woke up with a big purple bruise the next day. Oh, he also decided to stop calling me a week after that with no explanation. I was heartbroken and tormented for months over this guy. (Although now I cannot ever remember his name) It all worked out for the best because I met a wonderful guy a year later and we are getting married in Mexico in an underground limestone cavern by a Mayan Shaman in 6 weeks.”
OK! As long as it worked out! I bet a Mayan Shaman wasn’t easy to book.
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Cat Problems

Courtesy of Kindra: “My husband and I go out to eat a lot, so for Valentine’s Day we decided to do something different and stay in. We planned a four course meal, I planned a sexy little outfit, we planned a dream evening. Unfortunately, we forgot to include our cat in the plans and she was not very pleased by this.
That afternoon, as we were dipping the strawberries in the melted chocolate so we could have them for dessert that night, our cat decided to express her dissatisfaction by pooping on the bed, something she had never done before. Something we hoped she would never do again as it is not a pleasing aroma -- and it certainly doesn’t blend well with melted dark chocolate. We immediately cleaned it up and threw the comforter and sheets in the wash, figuring there would be plenty of time for them to dry before our passionate night.
Later that evening, I hopped in the shower and my husband took the steaks to the grill. In those few moments we had our heads turned, she did it again. This time it was on the exposed mattress pad, as we had not finished cleaning the sheets from the first assault. Determined not to let it ruin our night, we removed the mattress pad and threw it in the wash as we sat down for dinner.
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Cat Problems (continued)

Dinner was wonderful. Romantic. Everything you hope a Valentines dinner would be (but are often disappointed). This dinner lived up to its name. As we finished the last of the homemade-chocolate-dipped-sprinkle-covered-strawberries, my husband lifted me from my chair and carried me to the bedroom. As we walked in we saw, in the darkness, the flash of two evil green kitty eyes and faced the smell of the THIRD pooping attack of the day. Unfortunately, our bed was completely vulnerable: no comforter, no sheets, no mattress pad, nothing but exposed memory foam which unfortunately would remember this night for a very long time.
We did our best to clean it up, but it had completely soured the mood. And since we knew there was no way to have it cleaned and dried before bed time, we pulled our pillows to the living room and fell asleep watching HGTV. And our cat, was curled up right next to us, her mission accomplished.”
I have to confess… As I was reading this, I thought I was in for something sultry and interesting: sexy little outfit, preparing the chocolate-dipped strawberries… and then out of nowhere this cat starts sh***ing all over the place.
If I were your husband, I would have it put to sleep.
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Weak Heart (Literally)

From TJ: “Sent wife to spa for the day, while preparing a lovely dinner for two I had an attack of atrial fibrillation (heart beating extremely fast). Fortunately my daughter stopped by, drove me to the ER, we call my bride and told her to come directly to the hospital. A day later, my heart ‘converted’ and they released me. My Chicken Cordon Blue was wasted, the candles had burned out, the balloons were deflated, but we still had each other.”
At least you didn’t go into cardiac arrest, and your house didn’t burn to the ground. That would have really killed the mood.
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These Are Magical Brownies

From Danny Wong at Blank Label: “My worst Valentine's Day Experience has to have been when I was in high school. I was fed a 'special brownie' when I just thought my friends were being kind giving out brownies because of the special occasion. To my surprise, the brownies contained some [interesting] substances, which put me in a very strange mental state throughout the day. It was the first time I ever experienced such a thing and it gave me a HUGE head rush that knocked me out during one of my classes. After my nap, I strolled over to the nurse's office to skip some classes and lay down for an hour before school let out. What happened after school was an interesting experience too - riding the NYC metro subway in the condition that I was. I met up with a friend (female, yes, but friend only) just to spend the day but naturally, being in the condition that I was in, and not being able to really take a proper handle of myself, I really blew that friendship for being 'disrespectful' for showing up the way that I did and failing to really be 'present' because while my body was present, my mind was floating on clouds.”
Alrighty then. Lesson learned: don’t accept psychedelic hash brownies on Valentine’s Day.
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V-Day Ticket

From Jean: “I experienced my worst Valentine's Day several years ago. On the heels of a very painful breakup with my boyfriend, I was facing Valentine's Day alone. Not one to be overly sentimental in other areas of my life, I did enjoy a romantic Valentine's Day, and was not looking forward to spending this one sans date. The pity party was in full force.
However, I forced myself to at least get out of the house, instead of moping around. Valentine's Day was on a Saturday night that year, intensifying the desperation to not feel alone even more (yes, I can be a bit dramatic). I decided to go see a movie -- solo -- at the Landmark Theater in Lakeview, a Chicago neighborhood. Once I quieted the ‘why is that girl alone? doesn't she know it's Valentine's Day? did someone stand her up? Poor thing!’ voices in my head, I actually enjoyed the movie playing, ‘Sideways.’ It lifted my spirits for maybe an hour or two, but as soon as the lights came up, and I had to shuffle my way out by myself, those voices just returned, and I wanted to disappear.
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V-Day Ticket (continued)

As I walked briskly to my car, fighting tears about the whole miserable evening, wondering why I was single and thinking what person in their right mind goes to see a movie by herself on a Saturday night on Valentine's Day nonetheless, there it was: a nice, bright orange parking ticket, waiting for me on my windshield. Damn! Apparently the movie lasted over the two hours' worth of quarters I fed into the meter. Adding this insult to injury was the last straw. I believe the tears then came, and of course I blamed it all on my ex-boyfriend. I didn't think I could feel any worse, but the City of Chicago came to my rescue and made damn sure I did.
There is a silver lining to this, however. In a wildly optimistic and bold gesture, I wrote a letter to the City of Chicago, contesting my ticket. My reason? I decided to actually write the story of my spending Valentine's Day alone (poor pitiful me) at a movie theater, and felt that the added insult of getting a parking ticket on that evening was just a little too much to bear. About a month letter, I received a reply in the mail that I was not responsible for paying the ticket and that it had been removed from my record. Miracles do exist!”
Well, not sure if that qualifies as an actual miracle (we’ll send an email to the Catholic Church to check with them), but still pretty cool.
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“The Worst”

From Ali: “Okay, but warning, this really IS the worst of the worst Valentine's Day story. Seriously.
My husband, a professional athlete from Sydney, Australia, and I were married in September 2006 and we lived in NYC. In the summer of 2007, I gave birth to our son, Chille. He had a heart defect and endured two open heart surgeries before he was 8 months old. We lived in the ICU for months on end. On Valentine's Day, 2008 my son was in the Emergency Room, hanging on for dear life and in critical condition. My husband was out of town for a business trip and was returning on Valentine's Day. I had no cell phone reception and just left a message telling him that when he returned, to please just rush in to the hospital, that they were admitting our son to the ICU. Before our son was transferred, I stepped outside to check to see if he had called, if he was back in town, yet. There was one message on my phone. It was from my husband. He message said ‘Listen carefully. I'm in Sydney. I can't take it anymore.’ When I returned to our apartment later that day to take a shower and get some fresh clothes for the hospital, I saw just what ‘I can't take it anymore’ meant. Every trace of him was gone, every drawer emptied, and every bank account, including our son's $30,000 college fund was drained. I learned he stopped paying the rent and I had no money and a baby in critical condition laying in the children's hospital. On Valentine's Day, my husband went out for a pack of cigarettes and never returned. Only he didn't smoke and apparently the pack was in Australia. Oh yeah, and one last thing. My birthday is Febuary 15.”
This is truly horrible. So horrible in fact that we had to wonder if it was made up—but who would send us a story this messed up?
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Enterprising

From a Varsity.co.nz reader: “One Valentine's Day, I romantically ordered a dozen red roses sent to my husband at his office. The florist arranged them in a beer stein. As I anxiously greeted him when he came home from work, I noticed the empty beer stein. ‘Where are the roses?’ I asked. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘I sold them to the other guys in the office for $2 apiece.’ Priceless, yes. Romantic, no!"
I could have gotten at least $3 a piece.
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Bird Issues

Also from Varsity.co.nz: “A devastated Englishman learned the horrible truth that his girlfriend was cheating on him - straight from his pet parrot's mouth. Chris Taylor's parrot Ziggy began squawking ‘Hiya, Gary’ every time his girlfriend Suzy Collins's mobile phone rang. The African Grey also made kissing noises each time it heard the name Gary on television or radio. At first amused owner Mr. Taylor, a computer programmer, dismissed it as something the bird had picked up watching TV. But then he snuggled up beside Suzy on the sofa in their flat in Leeds and Ziggy cried out in Suzy's voice ‘I love you, Gary.’ The cat was finally out of the bag. Call-center worker Ms. Collins, 25, broke down in tears and confessed to having a four-month fling with a former colleague. She had met her lover in the flat while Ziggy looked on. Her confession ended their two-year relationship. It also led to 30-year-old Mr. Taylor parting company with his pet - because it kept screeching out her lover's name."
Poor bird. Someone call PETA, seriously.
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Cold, Silent Type

From an MSN reader: “My husband and I had our first real date on Valentine's Day. The next year I was so excited to have a special day together, I ran around town during my lunch hour to get him gourmet chocolates, hid a massage gift certificate inside the box, and bought some lingerie. I also wrote out the mushiest, most romantic card you could imagine. Later when he came home, he hadn't even gotten a card for me and proceeded to say he didn't want any chocolate. I cried and threw the typical girly tantrum. But now that he's my husband, he knows he must give a card and gift for Valentine's Day."
Sounds like you found a winner.
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Deadbeat

From another MSN reader: “My husband (then boyfriend) decided to take me out for a really nice dinner one Valentine's Day. So we sat down at the restaurant and started to look at the menus, which turned out to be in Italian. Before we saw any prices, our waiter and his assistant showed up, and all I was thinking was 'Oh crap, this has to be out of our price range!' At the end of the meal, the waiter brought the check, and my husband paid with his debit card. The waiter then came back and asked my husband to go to the cashier with him. I was sitting at the table for probably 20 minutes before my husband returned. Evidently his debit card wouldn't work at the restaurant, but they let him leave to find an ATM -- after all, they had me as collateral!"
I am noticing a trend here! These women end up marrying the guys who are totally incompetent, emotionally blocked and/or broke. Next time I go on a date with someone I actually like, I am going to act like a jerk the whole time, take her to dinner at McDonald’s and I’ll make sure my card gets declined, just to be on the safe side. Then maybe I’ll throw out something she buys for me. Within two months, we will be married, guaranteed.
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More Sadness

I will leave y’all with this one...
From Eileen, a Canoe.ca reader: “I was supposed to see a guy I had just started dating. I baked his favorite dessert -- cheesecake with, like, seven pounds of cream cheese. He DUMPED me on Valentine's Day. I took the cheesecake to work lest I eat it myself to drown my sorrow and on the way there I was in a vile accident. They had to cut a hole in the roof of the car to get me out. I was mostly out of it, but asked the ambulance guy on a date and offered him my cheesecake which was now full of broken glass and smeared all over the backseat. For some reason he said no.”
Take the broken glass out and I’d eat it. Free food.
Photo Credit: Mr Wabu