There’s Glory in Sharing Your Story – Michelle’s Story – Story #4

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Hi! My name is Michelle, but I have been called Bella for most of my life by my mother. I currently live in Phoenix, Arizona within the United States. The name of my blog is: www.bellasbabbles.com

I am a stepmom to two amazing children, a partner to a man who is the frosting to my cupcake and I am employed as an Executive Assistant by day and a super hero by night. Not really, but a girl can dream. I am in school pursuing my bachelor’s Degree and on the side, in my free time, I like to make custom cakes and cupcakes (I like to eat them as well!)

I have lived a life with mental illness including anxiety, depression, anorexia, and bulimia. While most recently being diagnosed as Bipolar One with mixed episodes and suffering with PTSD.

What in the World Happened?

I suffer from severe endometriosis and have had several surgeries to remove the adhesions. In 2015 following the removal of the beginning stages of uterine cancer, I had a hysterectomy. I was 29. The following year, life was decent. The fibromyalgia had left like a thief in the night post-surgery and I was feeling amazing. Until I was not doing so well by summer and by winter I was losing my mind. A combination of a mixed episode and the onset of menopause I suffered a major mental breakdown. In February of 2016 I was diagnosed as Bipolar One with mixed episodes and volleyed between mania and depression before settling in the bowels of the worst depression of my life for five months.

How do I get through it?

In July of 2016, we finally found the right balance of medication and hormones and the depression lifted as I started an IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) that lasted two months. Every day, regardless of how I felt, I would push myself to get out of bed and stick to a routine that included three meals and a shower. There were days when this was incredibly difficult, but I never gave up. I would tell myself that I needed to continue to press on and focus on the goals that I have. I also reminded myself many times during the day that this too shall pass. After 7-8 months my own personal sunshine came out and it was glorious.

Present Day

A strength of mine is perseverance. It has helped me get through so many mental and physical issues. I have a drive in me that has helped me conquer so many obstacles.

Today, I am in a fantastic place. I attribute my place of stability to the new regime of medication that I have been on for a few months. As much as there are undesirable side effects, the good out weigh the bad and I am grateful for the stability and peace in my life.

I attempt to share the positive outlook that I have in my life with those that read my blog. Although all my blogs are not about mental illness, they do encompass my wit and positive vibes. I have worked to not be ashamed of my illness, but to embrace it as it has made me who I am and brought me to where I am today and for that I am incredibly grateful.

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Published by my loud whispers of hope

I share my story openly and honestly to educate others and increase the awareness of mental illness, reduce stigma, prevent suicide, to inspire, give hope and let God's love shine through me and touch you.
I finished writing, proofreading and editing my memoir in January of 2019. I am in the process of sending my manuscript to agents and publishers that accept unsolicited maunscripts. I pray my words will turn into a book that will inspire and spark joy and hope in the lives of many. Recovery and healing are possible. I am living proof.
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." ~Maya Angelou
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Perimenopause hit me hard with worsening depression. I went to an IOP years ago that was DBT based. The structure of it was good for me. I felt obligated to go, as if I would be letting the other members down if I didn’t show up. The DBT skills I learned were very helpful. thank you for sharing your story. I will be checking out your blog.