I Love Smoke

I love a big plume of smoke to the face more than a dog likes to lick his own nuts. I love the bonus probability of lung cancer that comes with the aroma of burning leaves and tar. Some people like menthols or hookah smoke because it smells nice. I want the shit that smell like burning tires and tastes like dirt; the stuff that’s guaranteed to make you choke or vomit.

The trifecta for me is: walking into a group of smokers while they smoke Marlboro Reds or hand rolled cigs, on a sunny day, right outside the door at work . It’s damn near orgasmic. Sometimes I even ask someone in the circle to nonchalantly burn my hand, give me an unconcerned look, and tell me to watch where the fuck I’m going. If they don’t want to look like some sort of masochist, I just ask them to burn my shirt. Does it get any better?! Fuck, yes…sometimes I’m lucky enough to get some ash in my eye. The best part is it’s all free! So, keep it up guys, I’ll take your sloppy cancer causing seconds with a big grin and a somewhat healthier pair of lungs.