No options left.

I am feeling incredibly stressed and under so much pressure to kill myself. I feel like i have absolutely no options left. I have been suicidal and planning my death for so long that it feels like fate, like something that has to happen and I cant keep putting it off. I cant leave the house, i cant get treatment and I have just run out of time. I cant even use my preffered method as I have run out of time and cant wait any longer. I am meant to goto a doctors appointent tomorrow and I simply cant handle it, I have agoraphobia and social anxiety and leaving the house is simply impossible. However I also cant not go to this appointment as it has already been delayed so many months and I will likely be kicked out of my parents house if I dont go. I have thought of going to a hospital or crisis centre but I am just so terrifed and dont think i can stomache it. There are just so many things that I need to do and I cant do any of them and I dont know how I am meant to get through another day.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way...it does seem that going to the hospital and getting the treatment you need is the most pressing goal...can someone accompany you? Please consider that...wishing you better times