Monday, October 5, 2009

I am not a hugger. Which isn't to say that I am not an affectionate person, or that I am uncomfortable with being touched. But I have always felt awkward hugging and kissing people I don't know well.

I used to know this girl, we'll call her a frequaintance, because we were somewhere in between the two. Not quite friends, but calling her an acquaintances isn't quite right either. Every time I saw her, she gave me a great big hug and kiss, like real lips to skin kiss, and every time it felt weird. It might have something to do with the fact that I didn't especially like her, so the forced affection felt just that, forced. But I think it is more than that.

I don't want all of my friends to think I shrink from their embrace, because I don't. There are lots of people that I am okay with hugging, in fact initiate it. But it just doesn't always feel natural to me. I very often feel quite awkward. Is it a confidence thing? Is it cultural? Are there just some people who are huggers?

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20 comments:

Me? I LOVE hugs. Not so good with kisses - because somehow, I always seem to miss my target. Especially with strangers - or relative strangers. It's like either you don't expect it or you and the kissee have different points of contact in mind. But I LOVE hugs.

Yeah if she is a sometime not so frequent friend than the kiss thing is out the hug thing ok but forcing it is not to good.... humm away to avoid it? not sure it's possible may end up like the Seinfeld episode where Jerry was black balled in the building..LOL

I will never really initiate a hug unless I really like you or unless I really know you and like you! I don't hug people I've just met... that's just too weird... and I'm an air-kiss-on-the-cheeck kind of girl!

I think the people who like hugging (or kissing) were brought up like that. They had huggy families and or friends and for these people, the huggy, kissy lifestyle feels natural and normal. For others, like me, it feels awkward because we are just not used to it. I wish I had been brought up in a more affectionate family.

I do, however, think it is a good thing. I think the world needs all the love and affection it can get. I think that acts of kindness and gestures of warmth should be promoted if at all possible. When I was in France, EVERYONE hugged and kissed and it was kind of nice. You always felt immediately more familiar and at ease with people after a good round of hugs and kisses (or maybe it was a round of Champaign?)!

I am not a kisser - or a big hugger - I hug my brothers (no kisses) and I hug my nephews and of course my own kids. BUT so not big on hugs and especially kisses to friends. My in laws are HUGGERS and KISSERS - every fricking time - like 10 times a visit - I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I like a good bear hug. But I hate the kissy thing. Kissing to me is too intimate. I have a brother-in-law and father-in-law that go in for the "suthun" kiss on the cheek and I hate it. i always feel like an ass because I don't know what the right moves are to receive.

I'm okay with hugs. I am mighty uncomfortable with the cheek kiss thing. I almost have to look away during the final moments of Project Runway each week when Heidi and the booted designer have to do the kiss ritual.