My mother has a million sayings and I hated all of them when I was growing up. Today I want to look at one of them that bothered me then and still does today, “Life’s not fair, get over it!” To be fair to my mother, I have to admit that this was her standard rebuttal to my incessant ranting, “NO FAIR!”

We all have the ability to recognize unfair treatment, but few of us have the ability to react to it in a godly manner. Even as adults we still yell, “No fair”, when we experience unjust realities. Maybe not outwardly… but inwardly our spirit screams it and whether we realize it or not it seeps out of us.

Reacting in a godly manner to situations that we deem ungodly is perhaps the hardest thing for a Christian to do. The Bible tells us to forgive our trespassers and to turn the other cheek, but how do we do that when everything inside us demands restitution for the wrongs we’ve been dealt.

This is where my mother’s saying stings. Life isn’t fair and we have to get over it. Otherwise we’re in danger of spiraling into a vortex that can suck us into bitterness and hopelessness. Once we’re in the vortex… it’s hard to pull ourselves out.

Recently I found myself in such a place. The unjust reality I faced had sucked me in and left me bitter, hopeless and depressed. While I’m normally very optimistic and upbeat, I found myself just wanting to crawl in bed and cry. I yelled, “No fair” to God and yet He didn’t seem to hear me.

My mother’s words, “Get over it” rang in my ears. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own so I picked myself up by the bootstraps and parked myself in the Word searching for answers. I want to share 5 coping skills God showed me to help me get over it:

1. Accept the facts. Life really isn’t fair,the Bible proves it. Example… Joseph didn’t deserve to be thrown in the pit; David didn’t deserve the death sentence Saul tried to impose on him, and most importantly… Jesus didn’t deserve to be hung on a cross. I had to ask myself, “If Jesus had to deal with unfair situations why do I think I should be exempt?”

2. Realize God uses unfair circumstances. If Joseph wouldn’t have been thrown in the pit he wouldn’t have ended up in the palace where he eventually saved Israel from famine. If David wouldn’t have been chased by Saul he wouldn’t have been inspired to write the Psalms. If Jesus wouldn’t have died on the cross, our sins wouldn’t be forgiven. This helped me regain an eternal perspective.

3. Take your thoughts captive. The only way to change negative thoughts is to replace them with truth. I did this by constantly reminding myself God would somehow use it for good.

4. Draw on past victories. Remind yourself of times when God brought you through tough spots. As I reflected on the many times God has redeemed situations in my life it increased my faith to know that He would do it again. (If you can’t think of any, read about the many examples in the Bible.)

5. Make the choice to grow from it. If we never decide to take the necessary steps to get past it, we won’t. Joseph, David and Jesus chose to get over it and the impact of their decisions is still felt today.

I pray these words encourage you today to pick up your cross, forgive your trespassers and follow Him!

Sheree, I am enjoying your blogs so much! The steps and Biblical examples you have outlined here are very helpful in gaining a proper perspective regarding fairness in this life. Thank you!
My study time today came from Job 1:1-12. Thought I would share some insight from Dr. Philip Patterson (author of my current devotion book “The Greatest Stories of the Bible”). Here is a portion: “What was Job’s reaction to all this calamity? ‘When Job heard this, he got up and tore his robe and shaved his head to show how sad he was. Then he bowed down to the ground to worship God’ (Job 1:20). He worshiped?!? He praised God?!?
We want life to be fair, and the things that happened to Job, and sometimes happens to us, don’t seem fair at all. But if you think it through, I don’t think we want fair. You see, fair would mean that I pay the penalty for my sins. No hope of heaven. No hope of being in the presence of a perfect God who cannot abide with sin. That’s what fair gets you.
I want much more than ‘fair.’ I want grace and mercy to cover my sins. I want to claim the blood of Jesus Christ. I want an eternal reward I could never earn. And thanks to the atonement of Jesus, I can get that reward.”
Thought-provoking, huh?
God bless you, Sheree … Keep on blogging!
Rea

i luv this! so thoughtful and sharing and timely, too. It seems lately a lot of folks are feeling the trials and tribulations (moi included) that test your soul.
i just watched “end of the affair” on TCM, a 1955 movie written by graham greene, which really speaks to these faith issues in a very deep way. I’m still inclined to feel like the conflicts are inherent in the programming and that the ensuing drama is entertainment for the “divine”
powers that be.
y’know , the big cosmic joke
unfortunately, Sarah Miles didnt get the memo.
xm
aka that “nick” guy

Nick,
I haven’t seen the movie, I’ll have to check it out. Unfair trials and tribulations seem to be hitting us all. James 1:2 tells us to Consider it pure joy whenever we face trials of many kinds, because we know that the testing of our faith develops perseverence. We just have to remember that it’s not the trial that develops our perseverence… it’s our attitude through the trial. Your mom said it like this: “If you can’t change the wind, adjust your sails”.
LOL Brother!
Sheree

I loved reading your blogs!! I can’t wait to share them with others. I also think they will make great devotionals, I so often wish life could seem more fair, but it’s in those times that I’m able to know God will pull me through. Once the trail has passed I marvel at his creative outcome even though it’s usually so far from what I would have chosen, But then I often think if life was always fair would I still be desparate for Jesus?

Sheree,
The blog looks great and I love reading it. Your love for God and passion for his word come through and I am encouraged. I am excited to see how God uses this in your life and the lives of others. I’m so grateful for you.

Sheree,
Your blog is wonderful! Thank you for sharing your heart! You have written so many things that I think others feel, but are afraid to say. Such a good reminder to us all to go to God’s word for answers. I highly value “being real”. Thank you for doing that!
I met you this summer at the Jonah study. I came with a group of friends from another church. My friend, Brenda, told me about your blog. Your service to the Lord and women IS making a difference!