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I’ve played both Kane & Lynch Dead Men and Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days, but I’ve never actually owned the first game until a few weeks back when I saw this in a stack of games some guy was selling at a sidewalk sale. Two bucks? No problem. As for the much maligned Aliens: Colonial Marines? I never played the demo and didn’t see that footage everyone says was mocked up and not representative of the final product, so the whole controversy went over my scalp. That said, I nabbed this sealed with ALMOST all the collector’s edition goodies (no Power Loader) for ten bucks, which may seem like too much based on the acid spewed upon the game worldwide. I’ve only played about an hour and while it’s far from great, as a FPS, it’s got some fun bits here and there. My money is on Alien Isolation being a more compelling experience and provided the dopes lurking and jerking on message boards REALIZE that the new game is from a C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E-L-Y different development team known for all of their games being solid experiences through and through.

Remember Me? Yes, Nilin… I do, my dear. I played the PC version (thanks, Capcom!) and loved it for the most part. Capcom also kindly sent me the Xbox 360 version, but I couldn’t play it when I got it thanks to my two busted 360’s collecting dust here. So, I gifted it to a friend so he’d crack it open (and let me review it at his place, of course) and ended up picking up the PS3 version recently for about five times less than what it retailed for last year. As for Silent Hill: Book of Memories? I love Wayforward’s games and the demo of this Vita exclusive was interesting in a “Hey, it’s like Diablo, but NOT!” manner. A few levels in, and I read that the game is pretty much the same thing from beginning to end, but has a level cap and some other stuff that makes it a bit tedious. I haven’t reached that point yet, but thanks for the forewarning, Internet… Continue reading →

Hey Garrett! The jig’s up, you know. SOMEONE decided to shoot out this launch trailer BEFORE your crafty little game has shipped out so now EVERYONE will know what you’re up to and perhaps NOT want to let such a skilled thief into their homes. You’re not going to succeed in your burgling ways if everyone tapes shut their windows, triple-bars their doors and gets a guard dog for the guard dog. Ha! You think you’re still going to get around safely now that we all know that you’re up to (or will be on February 25)? Yeah, well… good luck with that, pal. I think it was someone at Square Enix or Eidos, by the way (in case you want to get all clubby and stabby or something). You go take care of them and maybe you’ll see a few folks who didn’t see this post pop up on launch day to pick you up and take you home with them. You KNOW what to do after that, correct? I thought so…

Poor Garrett needs a little love and fast. The internet trolls under every bridge leading to Eidos Montreal’s HQ are pooping out so many negative comments about a game they’ve yet to play based on nothing but some in progress gameplay footage and a lack of perspective and understanding game development that the new Thief may be doomed before it even leaves the studio. Of course, people like me will give the game a shot because we have no psychic powers and tend to believe in developers who try to make good games worth playing.

Granted, yes, the original Thief and its first sequel were brilliant and should be more aspired to than outright copied and so far, it looks as if this new game is going in a different direction than some fans want. However… it’s not complete and no one has played a final build yet, so I say perhaps wait a bit before you angry gamer types whip out the torches and pitchforks. Eidos’ PR department (or Square Enix’) is going to need to do something clever (or just smart – there’s a difference) to get some of the naysayers on board the Thief train, so I guess I may as well break out the popcorn and watch stuff unfold as that February 2014 release rolls around…

…As in I’ve seen plenty of annoying comments from people who think this game will be awful because Looking Glass Studies isn’t working on it, the color palette is too blue and black, the “stealth” seems easier and so forth and so on. All of this by looking at movies and screens from a game that’s not even done. Wow, the psychic prowess on internet trolls is REMARKABLE sometimes (well, ALL the time), isn’t it? I say shut up and wait for that knock on the door that will be followed by a conk to the noggin if you were silly enough to fling that door wide open without checking first. It’ll be Garrett reminding you that this reboot is probably going to have some stuff you haven’t yet seen and might actually be fun if you pipe down and hold out for a demo and/or maybe some ratings (although, if you rely on those solely to buy games, there’s something mildly to moderately wrong with you). Opinions are only worth the time to read these days if the person is at least INFORMED, not speculating to the point of draining the brainpower of anyone who reads their scribblings about how little they know about everything and how that lack of fact makes them an “expert” because the scream the loudest and their soapbox has spinning rims or whatever…

Oh, you should have seen the face on the nosy guy in the library today as I was watching this trailer. He was behind me looking at the DVD section and I guess at some point he turned around and saw the title of this trailer and promptly lost his mind. Well, it was already gone because he says to me “Wait, is that true?” As if I knew what “true” was in his brain. Of course, I said, “Yep, it’s coming to the Wii U”, which confused him even more. Well, the next two or three minutes were spent telling him about Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Director’s Cut and how it’s a specially enhanced Wii U version of the (that’s coming to other platforms later because Square Enix probably won’t make a huge profit on the Wii U game), which flustered him even more. I think he thought he was watching a movie (and probably a documentary, at that).

He finally leans in to hiss “No, I mean the FEMA camps, man!” as if they’re real places and not some talk radio claptrap cooked up to make people like him crazier. I had to slowly tell him “This is a video game”, whisch seemed to work for a few seconds until he says … “But it’s about FEMA camps!”, which made my brain face palm itself inside my skull. He went away shaking his head (and will probably be calling whatever show he listens to on the radio tonight or tomorrow to report what he’s seen). Hoo. Boy. I hope that man has NO children at home.

So, um… yeah… good job, Square Enix and Eidos Montreal (plus whomever handled the port) – you’ve made someone more paranoid about the future who wasn’t even a gamer. Now I really have to buy this when it launches later this year.

Well, for whatever good THAT will do, as it’ll just make him want to make YOU unconscious faster so he can have at that lock you paid good money for. Look, just make it easy on yourself, people: When February 25, 2014 rolls around, just pretend Santa is coming down that chimney, but instead of leaving out some milk and cookies, you just put out a plate of valuables and a note to not hit you upside the noggin with that blackjack. Hell, he’ll even take that hideous costume jewelry you were planning on donating to Goodwill, as anything he can sell all goes to getting his gear upgraded.

Of course, if you’re jerking his chain and plan to ONLY put out the cheap stuff while stuffing that Pink Panther somewhere… er, safe and warm. Oh, he’ll figure that out FAST. He’s been watching you all week and when you walk with that gem stuffed where the sun doesn’t shine, he’ll see that right away. Just so you know, it’s exactly these sort of observation skills that make an excellent thief…

Hey, he’s not real, he just wants your virtual stuff (especially if it’s sort of glowing as if it’s telling him where it’s at) and if you pop up and try and stop him, the worst thing that can happen is you’ll end waking up with a fake knot on your noggin upside down in a broom closet (blame the physics getting a bit wonky when he dropped your unconscious body into that quick storage solution). Ladies, you’ll probably get a fake rose and a fake peck on the cheek for waking up as he’s poking around for that fist-sized emerald you didn’t know you had, so feel free to file a fake discrimination complaint against him with that fake police report. Or something like that…

If you’ve not yet given Eidos Montreal’s award-winning and critically acclaimed 2011 game a go on the PS3, Xbox 360 or PC because you’ve only owned a Nintendo console, here’s your big chance coming up soon. The cool thing is this version adds some great Wii U Game Pad functionality plus new features and content not found in the three earlier versions, so once again it can be said that Wii U owners are getting the most complete and yes, best version possible (outside high-end PC visuals, but what’s here looks great to my eyeballs). Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Director’s Cut will be in stores later this year.

Now I need to find time to (re)PLAY this one at some point down the road…

OK, so I still haven’t gotten around to playing the new Tomb Raider yet other than the demo and showing a friend who bought the game how to get past one part he got stuck on (don’t ask). Anyway, I got a chuckle out of this not exactly spolier-free video from the dev team at Crystal Dynamics because it’s clear that yeah, they want you (and me) to go buy the game they worked so hard on. It did well critically and analysts aside, not too bad commercially (as in, hell, if I had the same number of hits and followers as sales this game has, I’d be quite a bit happier). Anyway, pull up a seat, check the video out and go pick up a copy of the game if yo have something to play it on…

He’s baaaaack… and before you know it, you’re waking up with a headache, your purse full of gold is long gone and if he needed a disguise and you were the right size, so are your pantaloons. Poor (and now poorer you). That wasn’t some April Fool who clubbed you and cut your purse either. No news on exactly WHEN this one will be all done, but I’d bet that’s the way the man himself wants it. Hell, would YOU tell your mark you were good and ready to swipe their stuff? Then again, a good thief loves a challenge, right? This could get interesting, folks… stay tuned…