I have been the worst blogger. Things aren’t the same for me as they use to be years ago. Life has actually gotten exponentially better for me in the last couple of years. I’m no longer dealing with my very needy and destructive family. I’m back in school. I’ve made so many life changes from quitting coffee and doing yoga, to really focusing on making an attempt at living a stress-free life. Of course, things come along that seem to dampen things sometimes but it’s much easier for me to bounce back these days. School is school. Most of the time when I’m not working or tending to the kids, I’m tending to school work. There are some days when I’m utterly frustrated with schoolwork because my classes are online and things are done a little bit differently. For example, quite a few of my online courses will require me to keep submitting drafts for papers with requirements and what not. I mean, I get why it’s done this way but I’m not use to writing that way. I admit that I’m a last minute type of chick and I hate feeling pressured. I submitted a draft for a humanities course and my instructor docked me points because my paper was only 2 1/2 pages (the final paper was to be 3-5 pages) and I’m just like damn I thought this was a rough draft though? She was so concerned about the length of my draft that she didn’t even provide feedback for the pages I already had. It was frustrating. I truly hated that course though. It was basically a course about the history of art. I truly appreciate art, don’t get me wrong, but there are just certain pieces of art that I could do without. Like all of those statues of naked men from Greek and Roman eras. I understand their meaning, but I mean, seriously?

Other than school, everything is pretty much the same. I have had some really interesting projects that I’m currently working on to bring in more income that I feel could be successful. I’m trying to be one of those people who don’t need to rely on simply leaving the house to go to some 9-5 to make a living. Working from home has always been a dream and I plan on making that dream come true. I’m just so tired of the monotony of my everyday life and I feel like I need more freedom in my days. I’m sure anyone could relate. With the advancement of technology, working from home could really be a thing of the future. Anyway, when I finally bring these things to fruition, I will definitely be sharing them here.

I miss the days when I would open my laptop, log in to wordpress, and allow my thoughts to flow from my mind to my fingertips. That was when life was easier, I wasn’t a full time mommy of two, and I wasn’t really too caught up in TV Shows. It seems like the older I got, the more I found myself escaping the stresses and monotony of life through books, tv shows, and movies. But when I look back and evaluate my younger self, I’m often wondering just what the fuck I was doing with my life besides working, coming home, and bullshitting on the internet. Sometimes on the weekends, I’d go out with my friends and sisters to clubs and have a drink or two. But what was I REALLY doing?

For some years I was lost in work and taking care of my family. I didn’t really give too much thought to my dreams anymore because I didn’t think they mattered. For years I considered going back to college but every time I’d try, something would hinder me from doing so. Much could be done about this… like the fact that I’d had a previously defaulted loan I could have easily taken care of. It wasn’t until life started really getting the best of me that I decided to stop the excuses, take care of the loan, and enroll in an online school. Boy am I glad that I did that. Initially, I wanted to pursue a degree in graphic design. It wasn’t until I started taking many different courses that graphic design wasn’t for me so I chose to pursue something more passionate for me, writing.

My time is often limited to working, caring for my family, and school. But I’m successfully becoming better at managing my time. I find more time to do more things if I stick to a schedule and plan more effectively… and stick to it. But overall, I feel my dreams emerging once again. I use to be a huge daydreamer, but for a while I was just in a monotonous trance. I’m dreaming more because I want more for me and my family. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life just working and being a mother. I want to enjoy life for myself as well. I had this false notion that once I started a family my wants were no longer important. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. They are important because in order for my family to be happy, I have to be happy as well.

It’s going to be a strenuous journey and I know at times I’m going to feel overwhelmed and frustrated (it has already begun) but I have never felt more motivated than I do now.