When last we checked in on Warner Bros.’ attempts to ensure their adaptation of beloved anime “Akira” justified every cent of the astronomical budget by being as box-office palatable as possible, the studio had rebounded from a rejection by the likes of Brad Pitt, James Franco, and Mila Kunis to land in the strong, safe arms of “Harry Potter” writer Steve Kloves, approximately the fifth person to take a stab at making some sort of cost-effective sense out of The Hughes Brothers’ futuristic vision.

Thus reassured, producers can now turn to the still-lingering question of who’s going to play the crucial roles of Tetsuo and Kaneda, and Deadline has posted the short-list.

According to the report, the major contenders for Tetsuo are Robert Pattinson, Andrew Garfield, and James McAvoy, while Kaneda will most likely be played by Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake, or Joaquin Phoenix.

And according to our sources, these are all white guys. So not only is the film an Americanized, likely sanitized live-action remake of a fiercely protected, rabidly cult anime, now it’s also courting Last Airbender-style protests. Like we keep saying, it’s not too late to just stop, right now, before this gets any worse.

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