In a noble attempt to preserve all that is right and just in this chaotic world, both Coachella and Lollapalooza have banned selfie sticks from their 2015 festivals, apparently due to safety concerns. (Though Coachella specifies that neither "Selfie sticks / Narcissists" are welcome.)

But removing these smartphone poles from the equation doesn't eliminate plenty of other annoyances. The ruling cabal of concert planners can go further. Here are eight more things that should be banned at music festivals:

Some festivals, like Coachella, already prohibit umbrellas, which we're guessing are more likely to cause an eye-poking accident than selfie sticks. An umbrella is not making a difference in festival rain conditions -- just ask the Brits.

Little kids

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True story: I once saw a mother tell her little girl to just pop a squat in the middle of the field at a festival. No doubt the girl was scarred for life, but also, you know, SO WAS I AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO SAW IT. One way or another, kids at music festivals are gonna lead to future trauma for someone.