Thank God January is done. I am lucky enough to work on Granville Island and have done so for (this is hard to believe) 7 years now. I love Granville Island. It is one of my favourite places in the world. How could it not be? I love the look and the feel. I love the artists, the artisans, the food, the shops (Paper-Ya is my favourite).

Every year in January, the Public Market is closed on Mondays to get some maintenance work done that they can’t get done while people are shopping. And every year, on all four Mondays of January the following happens. I walk over to the Public Market, ceramic coffee mug in hand, and am shocked to find it closed. Not just shocked mind you. I’m move from shock quickly into my denial phase and try the door again, and maybe just one more time. Still locked. Once I realize the door is just not going to open, I skip right over the bargaining phase since there’s no one to bargain with anyway, and get straight to anger. How could they be closed when I need my organic half-caff Americano with vanilla powder and a healthy shot of cream and my multi-grain raspberry scone warmed 20 seconds with a pat of butter? The nerve of these people. What on earth am I expected to do? And then I’m bereft. There are other places to find food and drink on Granville Island, but this is a well-loved rut I’m in.

It’s at moments like this I know I would make a great celebrity.

And here it is, February 1st and I have lived to tell the tale of my positively ascetic January Mondays. Thank God that’s over for another year.

WELCOME TO MY PRECARIOUSLY BALANCED UNIVERSE…

...in which I ask important questions like "If I'm the centre of the universe, why don't I get my way more often?" and "What if the laws of the universe are merely suggestions?" and of course the key questions, "Have you subscribed? How will I know you like me if you don't?"