Just because you’re not screaming doesn’t mean your words don’t cut to the bone

People tell me I scream, and I get angry I have anger issues? And maybe I do. But just because someone isn’t screaming back at you doesn’t mean their words can’t be hate filled can’t hurt just as much. When every sentence has a sarcastic whip on the end it may as well be laced with every disgusting curse word ever thought up. When someone says something and that thing is then denied sometimes only seconds later it leaves you doubting your own sanity and when someone who says they care can make you doubt your own sanity they may as well be screaming FUCK YOU.

Someone can be standing in front of you with a light making them seem saintly but if through a smile they make you feel like they just scraped you off their shoe with that smile they may as well stick you with a knife. How are you meant to reply to subtle quietly spoken words that hurt like the sharpest cuts?

You can love someone more than life itself but if the words they speak make you question your place in a room, question your place on earth how can you stay? Being disabled is hard ,it’s the hardest physical thing you can work through but when a friend a lover or a wife disables your soul what kind of mobility device to you use for that?

One response

Deborah B

Sometimes those that love us and that we love have the greatest power of anyone to hurt us. I think that this is because they are the one to whom we open ourselves, laying ourselves bare at their feet. Then, when we feel that the one who can see us, really see us, treats us with contempt, it makes us doubt ourselves to our very core.

This is why so many of us fear relationships, struggle to really commit themselves to another person. It leaves us unsafe, open to to ravaged emotionally by someone we love. I think this is particularly difficult for those of us who have suffered abuse at the hands of “loved ones” when we were children. This forever leaves us with the underlying belief that that those we love can and will hurt us. Life is hard. Trust is sometimes nearly impossible.