SPON Underling: All we have to do is start a letter writing campaign to voters in a swinger state!

SPON Underling: All We Have to Do is Start a Letter Writing Campaign...

SPON Editor: Brilliant! You’ve finally come up with something good. We will tell our readers to write the American cowboys in the backward corner of some swinger state. They will believe everything and Bush will lose!

SPON Underling: I’ve already purchased a list of American voters and come up with a sample letter for our readers:

SPON Editor: Let me see that:

Sample Letter to Voter in Swinger State:

Dear Amerikan Freund,

I am vriting to you about ze very important elektion on November 2nd because you live in a swinger state. You must vote against George Dubbelyu Bush. He is a very, very big, big liar and dangerous stupid cowboy and reminds us of the Fuhrer. Think very carefully mein Freund. You too could live in a Socialist paradize just like Deutschland. You will love paying the 16% sales tax and $5 a gallon for benzin knowing that it will be well invested in beautiful vindmills. The double-digit unemployment vont even bother you when you get your velfare check each month.

And we vill gladly velcome you back into ze family of nations. You can once again join us in sending angry letters to all the vorld’s most dangerous dictators and ve vill assign a new Fuhrer von the UN to run your military so that you vill never start another evil unilateral var of aggression without German stormtroopers.

Sink about it. Bush must go!

Yor German Freund.

SPON Editor: Genius! Post it on the website immediately. I want this to get maximum exposure! We will defeat Bush yet! Soon you will be the next Amerika Korrespondent.

SPON Underling: Yes Master!

(Update from David: Some commentators to this posting deliberately ignore the obvious sarcasm of this piece. As if SPON would write in English with a German accent!! Newsflash: Dr. Evil and Mini-Me don't really work for SPON and there is no real SPON letter writing campaign. It is a joke people! This is a parody on the Guardian flop. Isn't that obvious?

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Common guys, get a grip! If no more fun is allowed on this blog, where are we going to anyway? But like Tucholsky once said: "Wenn einer in Deutschland einen guten politischen Witz macht, sitzt die halbe Nation erbost auf dem Sofa und nimmt übel!"

This was so obviously a satire that most comments above are not called for.

(behind the hand) pstttttpstttt...there are some elements in here who can't make a difference....ehem...i mean...yeah how to tell ya....totally stupid.hmmmm...time to go back to mission control and see what SPON EDITOR and SPON UNDERLING are doing.copy that ???

God I see the loonies at the Democratic Underground and Sorros' running lackies at moveon.org have found this blog. Expect to see more of their foolishnes and drive bys. They hope by raising the noise to signal ratio they can drowned out discourse.

The man said if you can't take a fuke, Jock you. I think or something like that.

Imagine a letter writing campaign from Montana trying to swing an election in the UK in favor of Howard, or against the NDP. Imagine the outrage.
Just imagine that for a moment - THEN criticise the point that Medienkritik is trying to make.

The thing about what the Guardian has done is that it hasn't registered at all in the media here, except as a minor sideling - a tale of clumsy ineffective manipulation. Voters will probably just treat the letters and e-mails as more of the political mailings and political spam that they receive. The eager beavers joining in on the letter writing campaign are forgetting just how astute americans are. They know well enough to ignore uninformed influence from the outside, from people who really have NO STAKE in the election other than playing out their own naive political emotionalism and unquestioning received wisdom.
There are nearly 300 million Americans, and the europeans think we're little more than a handful of foolish, toothless, interchangable idiots - all of us the same.
While their dwelling on matters across the ocean, their averting their eyes from the social and moral disaster that European leftism has become.

When you ask them what they want you can actually see the goalposts moving. At it's heart is the desire to see 300 million people fail so that they can look good. Was the invective we had to hear from them 20 years ago anti-bush-ism?
On the other hand, Americans generally believe that a happy and successful european population is good for the world. We actually still look up to them. So tell me, who are the 'compassionate and thoughtful' souls?

Wow, seems like we have one angry critic in here with no sense of humor using several names. I guess my Soros articles must have really pissed him off and he is trying to rip us now.

Yeah, this is comedy ladies and gentleman, it isn't really real, NEWSFLASH: DR. Evil and Mini-Me don't really work for SPON! I'm sorry if that disappoints some of you. I thought every 2 year old would get that. Is there a law against comedy during the election season? I must have missed something. I guess if that wasn't clear you probably need to go buy yourself a sense of humor, because that is really the only thing that is dead here.

God I see the loonies at the Democratic Underground and Sorros' running lackies at moveon.org have found this blog. Expect to see more of their foolishnes and drive bys. They hope by raising the noise to signal ratio they can drowned out discourse.

Yep. I think you hit the nail on the head. This is a blog. We are also allowed to run comic fiction. If you are really so dumb that you think this is some sinister attempt to fool our visitors you really need to get off the crackpipe.

The really stupid thing about the mail campaign is I don't know anyone (extreme right or left) who would not be pissed off having someone outside the US trying to tell them how to vote. No matter the American voter is presented in the European media, they LIVE here. They know whats going on in this election (even if they have widely different opinions of what it means). To have some well-meaning (thats the nicest thing you can call it) Brit trying to influence our vote is, well really insulting not matter what your party. One thing we ALL agree on this side of the pond is that we are glad we kicked the Brits out. Having the Germans do it (love them as much as I do) is even worse. (and yes, I did get a good laugh our of the Dr Evil parody).

Our election = our problem. It may have ramifications for the Europeans, but if you want to have an influence on the election, become a US citizen and vote. Otherwise, with all due respect, bugger off.

Since we are talking satire here, I post what I just found at a funny site. Enjoy!

>>>>>>>
Letter From Texas

The Future of Texas

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).
We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins president over Bush. We'll miss you too.
Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our their hands.
Here is our solution:

#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49 states.)
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (we will control the space industry.)
2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....
6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.
7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.
8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway
9. We have a ready supply of workers. (just open the border when we need some more).
10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.
12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:

Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

have to post real-copies of the campaign-text in the appropriate neighbourhoods of berlin.
sorry for my dump german mitbürger.
humour goes with intellect... and as you well know: one of the finest kinds of humour, the jewish one, is not very well understood here (for to put it in polite words)