Another gorgeous afternoon–sunny, mid 70’s, and a gentle breeze-and, like last week’s season opener, all spots were taken with three players placed on standby.

COMMISSIONER’S TEAM SETS THE BAR FOR THE BACK NINE!

The Commissioner’s Team of David Danzig, William Thornton, Mike Schmal, and DonNichols set the bar for the back nine, posting a score of 12 under to capture the GoldenAle Trophy which this week was presented by the DAL team of Mike Gaddis, Brad Reese, Jeff Colbath, and Tim Martin who stood alone at the bottom of the leaderboard at 5 under after the other three teams tied for a meaningless second place at 8 under.

LOW NET WINNER: David Danzig -7 The 21 handicapper shocked the field after posting a score of 39, even after making a triple bogey on # 8, thanks to two birdies, fourpars, and only two bogeys. This was the second time the high handicapper has posted a 39, the last time on July 8, 2008, on the front nine when his then handicap netted out to the all time ATAG best of 9 under. (more on Danzig later)

PINK LADY WINNER: Frank Corrigan 52 The 26 handicapper, who came off the wait list after a cancellation, returned to his high scoring ways in his first match of the 2012 season, winning the Pinkster after easily bypassing the 49’s of Russ Jobson and Doug Healy, and then withstanding a furious charge from fellow 26 handicapper Craig “Shoes” Sellner. “Shoes”Sellner, last week’s Low Net Winner, made a strong surge at the end, posting a 7 on the concluding par 3 hole but Corrigan, playing in the same foursome, quickly silenced the threat by answering with a triple bogey 6 of his own on the concluding hole to take home his first Pink Lady of the year.

SHOT OF THE DAY: There were several Shots Of The Day as reported by the players: Bill Buist’s 175 yard approach shot on # 15 to within one foot of the cup enabling him to make a tap in birdie-“net eagle”;Brad Reese’s 225 yard second shot on the par 5 number 14 which landed on the green and enabled him to make an easy two putt birdie; DavidDanzig’s 140 yard approach shot on # 15 that ended up one foot away for a tap in birdie-“net eagle”; and Tim Martin’s chip shot on #18 from a difficult downhill lie that stopped inches from going into the hole. (according to eyewitness Reese, there is no way that shot can ever be repeated from that spot)

BIRDIE CLUB: The Birdie Club added four new members to its fledgling roster with a total of 5 back nine birds, thanks to David Danzig-with 2-and one each from Brad Reese, Bill Buist, and Scotty Greene.

COMMISSIONER’S CORNER (Observations Of The Commish)

-The gorgeous weather sent the ATAGers to the upper level of the clubhouse building (the“ATAG Sky Box”) in order to circumvent the smoker’s lounge on the second level porch. The evening air ambience and the skylight views made for a great atmosphere and kept Connor, the ATAG barkeep, busy going up and down the stairs bringing drinks and appetizers to an appreciative group of thirsty players. Everyone stayed for quite a while and were joined by Kieran Quinn and Rick Eaton who made cameo appearances.

-During the course of the round, William Thornton inexplicably launched his tee shot on #15 right into the middle of the group ahead as they were preparing to hit their approach shots. Fortunately, no one was injured, and they were kind enough to put a “distinguishing” two word label on Thornton’s ball to remind him that his actions were not appreciated.

-An investigation is underway to determine who failed to rake the left front bunker on#13, leaving deeply imbedded footprints in the sand. The second group pointed out the infraction to the third group, which happened to be the Commissioner’s Team, which meant a player in the first group (Arnold, Sellner, Corrigan, McGlynn) was likely theguilty party. However, in order not to rush to judgement, the Commish took photos of the desecrated site and suspicious footprint (see photo gallery) and has asked the ATAGforensics team to determine who is the culprit in this egregious offense. It is hopeful that the perpetrator will willingly come forward. However, if anyone recognizes this distinguishing footprint, he is to immediately contact the Office Of TheCommissioner.

– There was much chiding of David Danzig for his shooting a 39 with a 21 handicap (to quote Brad Reese “anyone who shoots a net 29 deserves to get some shit”) but the fact of the matter is that Danzig has become the Wild Card of the ATAG Tour, when drawing him as a team member is much like getting either a winning or a losing lottery ticket considering that Danzig has demonstrated a penchant for recording anywhere between a39 and a 59 on any given Tuesday. However, in Danzig’s defense, claims of “sandbagger” can quickly be dispelled when one reviews the stats kept at ATAG Headquarters which show Danzig earning the Pink Lady seven times last year and an average of four times each year over the past six years, resulting in his being awarded life time alumni status at Bad Golfers Anonymous. Nevertheless, with rounds of 44 and 39 over the last two weeks, the Commissioner has instructed the ATAG Handicap Committee to put Danzig on its 2012 Sandbagger Watch List.

That’s it for this week. Check out the photos in the Gallery and scroll down to see the individual scores of the day’s match.

Ansley Golf Club

The Sacrosanct Men`s Grill Porch

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Various Quotes and Golf Truisms

8-12-14 " I haven't taken a shower since Sunday." -Doug Healy while admiring his new ATAG tattoo.

8-12-14 "We could have been somebody if I had a team."- Low Net winner MIke Gaddis

7-8-14 "I'll have an Old Abbey Chocolate Stout." -Brooks Cowles, after winning his second beer in a row.

5-20-14 "You know, I kind of liked ATAG better when it didn't have all these rules and structure" --Kevin McGlynn, a last minute cancellation last week, in response to the proposed monetary fine for late cancellations

5-14-14 "Jim did great as Substitute Commish last night! Chip Off! Last minute cancellations! On going bitching by Ron, and then having to buy beer for the winning team.--Russ Jobson

4-8-14 "God, that was miserable"--Frank Corrigan after firing a 58 for a net 9 over par.

3-18-14 "What happens on the gondola, stays on the gondola"--David Danzig (referring to last week's photo with Lee Pearson)

5-21-13 "When you triple bogey two of the first three holes, it kind of sucks the life out of you." Pink Lady winner Doug Healy

5-14-13 "Just remember, no matter how bad you are, there is always somebody who sucks more!" Don Nichols after learning his team did not finish in last place after all.

4-2-13 "I'm in a dark place right now". David Danzig after winning his second Pink Lady in as many tries.

4-30-13 "The only thing well I have done today is rake the bunkers"-Jeff Kohn after posting a 50

3-19-13 "I can't believe I lost two weeks in a row! I guess I am the weakest link!" Jim Williamson
3-19-13 "Hey, I won two weeks in a row! Kevin McGlynn

3-19-13 Useless Word Of The Week: sprezzatura: appearing to do something effortlessly". As in, "with his reknown sculptures and with his back to back low net wins, Tom Player is a living illustration of the art of sprezzatura."

3-12-13 " It was too f______cold to handle all of the high math required."
-ATAGer Bill Buist -after learning he failed to add Danzig's ultimate Pink Lady score correctly, causing an incorrect announcement of the high net winner.

3-12-13: Useless Word Of The Week: pygmalionism : "a state or condition of being in love with an inanimate object such as a statue." As in, "ATAGer and noted sculptor Tom Player just might well be a pygmalionist."