•Have you ever noticed how the slowest people will not only just suddenly stop in the middle of things but then, as if they were not a big enough obstacle, plant both hands on their hips to become an even larger impediment?
•I heard the following from a fellow passenger as he exited the elevator on Deck 14 just outside the cafeteria. “Well, once more, off to the trough.”
•I wonder why the Tour Desk is closed when the ship is in port. Wouldn’t that be a time when passengers might need assistance and answers to specific tour questions?
•On the ship, you can tell when the thrusters engage – the whole vessel quivers. There’s a sex joke in there somewhere.
•One evening Ellen and I arrived at...

We arrived at Sint Maarten (that’s the Dutch spelling for their side of the island) shortly after dawn under clear skies. Since our tour wasn’t scheduled until 10:30, we could take our time about breakfast. As I was waiting for Ellen to get ready, I wandered out on our veranda and noticed a barge pushed by tug boats inching up to our aft starboard side.
It looked industrial with a small crane in the middle of an otherwise flat and unremarkable deck, but there was nothing about it to suggest what it was there for. It was soon tied up to the ship, and I made a mental note to stop at Guest Relations to inquire about it. Curiosity, nothing more.
After breakfast, I stopped at the main desk on deck three and asked the young lady what the barge...

We had something new happen that we had never experienced in our eleven years of cruising. When we were seated in the tour bus, we were given a legal size two-sided release form on which we were supposed to list all ailments and prescriptions and initial in half a dozen places, mostly agreeing that we wouldn’t sue the tour company should anything happen. Bear in mind we were going to visit a brewery, not go zip-lining.
This was actually our third surprise after, first, the tour being changed from afternoon to 9 am. The second was a message in our cabin the night before that no shorts or tank tops were allowed on the tour – on an island in the Caribbean, no less. And now, we were being asked to sign away all legal rights and divulge the most personal...

Visitors to Barbados are cautioned not to wear any clothing with a camouflage pattern. I remembered this from last year but never received a good explanation for it other than that it is just not allowed there.
Our tour took us on a small bus from the rather industrial looking dock area out into the countryside. Navigating Bridgetown proper was a traffic-clogged process, and the very narrow lanes added to the slow pace. Our tour guide/driver kept up a running dialogue throughout, offering interesting information about Barbados and its history.
He also pointed out that Barbados was the only place where a McDonalds fast food store had opened and not prospered, lasting only a year before closing. There is now a used car lot on the site. KFC, however, is thriving,...

The ship was docked, and the sun was up before I was on a beautiful Tuesday morning in the Caribbean. Today we were going on a history and rum-tasting tour on the West Indian island of St. Kitts. Next to us at the pier was the Royal Caribbean Brilliance of the Seas, but our ship was bigger than their ship. Nyah nyah.
It was a picturesque and clean little town near the dock with the usual cluster of shops selling watches, jewelry, t-shirts and hats. (See St. Thomas.) As we waited for everyone to arrive for our tour, I glanced around the nearby square and saw a building with a Harley Davidson sign on it. Seems hogs are everywhere, even the West Indies.
In the sheltered area where we waited was a small band made up of guitars, ukeleles and even a mandolin...