But no! King isn’t gonna allow a little hiccup like having no band to stop him from touring! The band will proceed with their summer tour… with Jason Newsted filling-in for Araya on bass and vocals, while Gary Holt continues to fill-in for Hanneman, and Jon Dette continues to occupy Dave Lombardo’s seat behind the drum kit.

What… the… fucking… fuck???????

Says King via a press release:

“It started to become apparent when we were in Australia in February that Tom’s back was acting up again. He went to see the doctor the moment we returned to the U.S. and, sure enough, he needs more back surgery. Neither of us wanted to see the European shows be just totally scrapped. Can you imagine how shitty that would have been?So I did what I thought was best, and called up Newsted. He was game for it, and here we are. I think we’re gonna deliver something really special for the fans all summer long.”

Newsted added:

“I’m honored to play with one of the finest metal bands in history! Look out Europe, Slayer and Jason Newsted are coming to kick yer ass!!!”

Okay so here’s the thing about this: a band with Jason Newsted, Kerry King, Gary Holt, and Jon Dette actually MIGHT be good. I mean, they’d have to let Holt write most, if not all, of the music — I’m just saying, I wouldn’t necessarily dismiss such a band right from the get-go.

But they shouldn’t be calling it “Slayer.” Because it’s not Slayer. It’s Kerry King pulling an Axl Rose. I suspect if King tried to tour this band under a different name, he’d have to give up the sure-to-be terrific guarantees Slayer gets, and he ain’t about to do that. And thus, this summer, fans across Europe will be seeing “Slayer” instead of Slayer or a new band.

This is just… I don’t even know what to say. It’s fucking ridiculous is what it is. I guess if there’s a silver lining, it’s that King didn’t hire David Draiman?