You’ll shoot your eye out! List of dangerous X-mas toys

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, which means I’m contractually obligated as a journalist to write about one of the following three subjects: Black Friday shopping, what to do with leftover turkey and lists of killer toys.

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Irwin Mainway was vilified in the press for selling the “Johnny Switchblade: Adventure Punk” and “Mr. Skin Grafter.”

A few days ago, The Poop reader Matt sent us this list from World Against Toys Causing Harm. It’s worth noting (with pride?) that 3 of the 10 toys on the W.A.T.C.H. list — the Pottery Barn Kids Pyramid Stacker, the Sky Blaster and the Z Launcher Water Balloon Turbo Launcher — are listed as being manufactured or distributed in the Bay Area.

I’m down for shaming the makers of toys that could choke, impale or electrocute small children. And the Fear Factor Candy Challenge seems like a pretty horrible idea — mostly because it encourages kids to watch bad television.

But when it comes to toy censorship, I side with Ralphie Parker on most issues. Every time I see one of these lists, it seems like they go a little too far on at least half of the toys.

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Anti-W.A.T.C.H. crusader Ralphie Parker.

Based on my own fun-versus-risk analysis, I have to take particular issue with the No Fun Police adding the Z Launcher water balloon slingshot to the list. The joy that can be had flinging water balloons at your enemies far exceeds any “potential for facial and choking injuries.” My favorite toy as a kid was that Star Trek disc launcher, and if these W.A.T.C.H. people were around, they probably would have tried to ban that, too.