January 15, 2012

IN THE LINE OF FIRE

I´ve been thinking about THE COST. Counting it. Weighing it.

Because right now it´s very personal.

There has always been a cost to bringing the gospel to resistant places - both historically and now through the current-day persecuted Church. Those living for Christ in difficult places have known suffering and have had to count the cost many times a day.

I haven´t had to live like that.

Our call has involved sacrifices on many different levels. Family, personal, health, emotional, security, social, educational, etc. But when was the last time I actually feared for my life? Feared for one of my kids? (there was that summer Jenna was in Kashmir...) My travelling husband?

And when was the last time I made a choice that actually put us in the line of fire for THE CAUSE?

It´s not that our work has not taken us to some of these resistant places. And it´s not that we haven´t worked closely with some who have to live under these life-fearing situations. But for various reasons (and for some I cannot put in print here) we are making a choice to go there. And so, I am asking myself, "Am I willing to lose my husband for the cause of the gospel? Am I willing to raise my children alone? Would I be willing to give my life and leave my children motherless? Or what will I do if one of my children make that choice?"

Heavy, huh?

One of my heroes, Jim Elliot, wrote what are now some very famous words: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." We know how his story finished...or rather, how it began.

My story is still being written.

But I would never want it´s end to be The End. I want it to be just The Beginning. The beginning of something far greater...the beginning of something eternal...the beginning of something remarkable for the King who has loved me so.

4 comments:

Hi Pam, it's fun to see your blog - I didn't know you do this! This post, probably for obvious reasons, particularly caught my attention. As I'm settling back into London and purchasing my flat, I'm realising just how harrowing most people perceive my life as being. I don't think I really realised it before. In part, that realisation makes me eager to curl up in my little corner and never come out again. And in part, it makes me desperate to make sure I never lose the ability to live on the edge, trusting God for each second of each day... it's exhausting but it sure is a life of meaning, isn't it?!

Wow. That IS heavy. But I sure hope that we can all end up living on the edge, just like you described, just like we are called to do... Because that is when we are forced to rely on God every single second of our lives.... Yes! That would be amazing. YOU are amazing. I am continually touched by what you write, and continually realize more about who you are by what you write. It brings a whole other side out of you! (L)