The wild popularity of our Obama poster parodies has motivated us to create a set of playing cards for the toiling masses with these images, under the title "To each according to his hyphen" and the subtitle "Everybody is an equal winner."

Making 54 pictures in vector format took a lot of time, but the glorious news is that all these files are now also available for making high-resolution posters, T-shirts, and other revolutionary products.

Incorporating this project into the current Five Year Plan required an unparalleled effort and sacrifice from all comrades in Central Planning and Visual Agitation Departments. Striving to meet the quota ahead of schedule we didn't spare creativity in implementing a series of motivational purges, denunciations, deportations, and executions. But despite such selfless efforts, the backstabbing capitalist saboteurs still managed to delay our shipment and we received the final product only this afternoon, which makes it too late for the Winter Solstice Holiday online shopping - but just in time for the New Year shopping!

I am humbled by your inclusion of the Che' in your superb deck of playing cards. As a revolutionary of the people, I have been honored numerous times. Your homage to my marketing skills is somewhat misplaced, however. The Visual Agitation Department and Central PLanning has done all of the work, and therefore must receive all of the profits. I say, use my likeness for any purpose the Party wishes. I plan to order some posters for the restaurant. Do they come framed, or have you a recommended vendor who could do this? KUDOS to you and your hardworking associates, Sir.

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)

This is an amazing collection you have here Red I Vladimir Toot'en am proud, and approve distribution of this merchandise.

All profits go to me.

AbecedariusRex

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)

Very amusing. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Bernie said I should go slumming here. You little people are so, ummm..., lowbrow and oafish - in a nice way. Playing cards, gambling, lots of cheap gin and malt liquor too, no doubt. Oh well. You don't need to live lives of poverty and despair any longer. We have resumed our rightful place.

I have humble suggestion, if you plan a second printing to update your marvelous card deck that you revise the Jack of Spades. Though Scranton is a nice touch, the revisionist suggestion below may be a little more apropos………

I love this deck comrade, however, I must ask why are there RethugliKKKans in this deck. Aren't we a progressive collection for a greater cause?

The actual reason Big Red put Repugnicans in the mix is for a "Manchurian Candidate" style revolution. When one of these cards is observed by the victim operative, he / she / transgendered or whatever will do anything it is programmed to do.

I must say they have been cooking up some pretty powerful drugs medications for those who are so willing to sacrifice for the common good. Their numbers names will live on in history as great revolutionaries.

Very amusing. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Bernie said I should go slumming here. You little people are so, ummm..., lowbrow and oafish - in a nice way. Playing cards, gambling, lots of cheap gin and malt liquor too, no doubt. Oh well. You don't need to live lives of poverty and despair any longer. We have resumed our rightful place.

This is an amazing collection you have here Red I Vladimir Toot'en am proud, and approve distribution of this merchandise.

All profits go to me.

AbecedariusRex

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)

Red missed that one that would be a great Joker card.

Comrade Franken would be a great addition to the deck. But wouldn't he just demand recounts on why he ended up on the card he did? What about those additional decks of cards he may claim are in a voting location?

I know I said in my previous post of "redone" cards purloined from the masterful original deck that it would be my last. However, I was motivated by Red Square to look up and study the cast of characters on the cards that I was not very familiar with. Soros was one that I admit I didn't know well, other than he was filthy rich.

What I found looking around was quite an eye-opener and it is a true testament to the Ministry of MiS-Information's Mission (MSM) of keeping the facts generic and suppressed.

Though the title of Red Square's Soros'card "Cash" is both accurate and succinct, after a little reasearch I feel that the card below might sum it up better......

Buenas Dias comrade and a merry Winter Solstice Holiday (Gaia be praised) to you!I do hope you are not defaming (but only honoring) our own Daddy Warbucks, i.e.: the "good" George? He is indeed the model that all progressives should emulate.

While the writer in the aforementioned artilce is literally, quite talented, with the absolute power that the George wields, the blasphemous traitor won't have too long to live in our World of This Tuesday! Soros is our global ambassator, and held in very high regard by the Party.

Viva La' Revolution, comrade Robot! I must now go and prepare a feast of epic proportions to feed the Inner Circle!

I do hope you are not defaming (but only honoring) our own Daddy Warbucks, i.e.: the "good" George? He is indeed the model that all progressives should emulate.

Che Gourmet!You misunderstood me!

I was um, um…(gulp)..in no way impugning (gulp!) Grand Marshal $oros’s good name. I am so sorry that it might have appeared that way. Perhaps it was too much Egg-Nog (party approved of course) last night.

I salute the Ministry of MiS Information’s Mission (MSM) for being the Vanguard of the people and letting us know only what we should and need to know!

I denounce the writer of that worthless, slanderous and factless blog as an enemy of the People’s Democracy ™ !! The similarity between $oros’s previous manipulation of the British and Thailand’s government and then the subsequent crash of their stock markets making him billions of dollars is entirely coincidental and should in no way be inferred with his current support of Dear Leader!

I shall have front row seats for the event in our World of This Tuesday, despite the fact that there won’t be any where near enough porta-potties for the masses! This proves my unflagging devotion to the Party.

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)

come on...we all know you Photoshopped(tm) this. Nobody is that ugly in real life.

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)

come on...we all know you Photoshopped(tm) this. Nobody is that ugly in real life.

This Current TruthTM post is like crack or meth once you start you just can't leave it alone.

Full appologies to Red Square but his Queen of Hearts in my opinion was just not quite accurate enough with the title Glass Ceiling and did not clearly reflect her performance during the recent presidential campaign season. The poorly doctored card below is my re-interpretation......

How do you guys make these posters? I really wish someone made one with Joseph Heller's picture, and wrote "Catch-22" under it. It would definitely be great. An Osama picture with "Peace", "Liberty" or "Freedom" would be good too. If you know what I mean. If some makes the Heller one for me, I'd like it without a card.

I guess I don't know why he would get his own card. The best one in the playing deck to get the title of "Catch 22" in my opinion would be McCain. He sure beats Obama but a "Catch 22" would be what you would get having a Moderate Republican at the helm classically: "you're damned if you do and damned if you don't" (i.e. stuck with Obama).........

Don't give me any lip about how no one here knows who Danielle is or what she looks like--I know, and that's all that matters, dammit!

And what do you mean, "How does she fit in with the rest of the cards?" Who says she has to? The Card Fairy? I say she doesn't, because I'M PINKIE OBAMA! Dammit!

And another thing. You put a plastic dish of M & M's on my dressing table this evening. I specifically said I wanted them served in Waterford crystal ONLY, dammit! Plus you forgot to remove all the orange M & M's--AGAIN! Now I'll have nothing but bad karma till the next full moon.

For that matter, so will you.

Don't forget what happened the last time you tried telling me you have a life "too" like you think you're as equal as I am.

I'll be back on Monday with an even longer list of unreasonable demands, so get cracking. Do I have to do everything around here?

Don't give me any lip about how no one here knows who Danielle is or what she looks like--I know, and that's all that matters, dammit!

And what do you mean, "How does she fit in with the rest of the cards?" Who says she has to? The Card Fairy? I say she doesn't, because I'M PINKIE OBAMA! Dammit!

And another thing. You put a plastic dish of M & M's on my dressing table this evening. I specifically said I wanted them served in Waterford crystal ONLY, dammit! Plus you forgot to remove all the orange M & M's--AGAIN! Now I'll have nothing but bad karma till the next full moon.

For that matter, so will you.

Don't forget what happened the last time you tried telling me you have a life "too" like you think you're as equal as I am.

I'll be back on Monday with an even longer list of unreasonable demands, so get cracking. Do I have to do everything around here?

I heard M&M is a big bad corporation. I hope you know what that means. Also, only The Red Square's voice counts because he got The Voice of The People. I'm still gonna get my Heller card because Red Square <3 Skinnee Jay.

Does the Sharp Shovel of Collective Correction have a People's Red Revolutionary Stick of Justice as a handle? I really need to get authorization to make a factory to produce those and come up with a five year plan for production!

Commissarka Pinkie, I do apologize missing your adopting the name of Pinkie Obama. The Cube is a big and wondrous thing and I spend all of my time with my legs crossed in a mantra position saying, "My legs aren't like this to protect the family jewels but because it's Marx..hum..Engels..hum..Mao...hum...Soros...hum...Zinn...hum...Algore...hum"

When you do that much creative meditating you are sure to miss things.

I'm not quite sure though how you're Pinkie Obama. Was this a special dispensation from Rev. Jeremiah Wright in the few milliseconds when he was not saying, "God DAMN America!"? I'd think that Missy Michelle might not like the suggestion that His O'liness had two Hos for O.

Where is my card? The most important card in the deck, you idiot! You have a short memory! Come and dine with me, I will help you get your memory refreshment, uh, refreshed.

This is what goes on the damn card!His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC ['Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography.

I heard M&M is a big bad corporation. I hope you know what that means. Also, only The Red Square's voice counts because he got The Voice of The People. I'm still gonna get my Heller card because Red Square <3 Skinnee Jay.

Spare me your petty distractions from The Real Issues, Skinnee Jay.

Yes, I eat M & M's a couple of times a year, and I feel horribly guilty about it, just as I feel guilty about plagiarizing the words of others like Laurie David. I probably shouldn't do it. But the truth is, I'm not perfect. This is not about perfection. I don't expect anyone else to be perfect either. That's what hurts the Progressive Movement--holding people to a standard they cannot meet. That just pushes people away.

The important thing is that I care about the issues that matter--the right to abortion, opposition to the Iraq war, and undying hatred of Bush. In fact, I have worked tirelessly to Raise Awareness about the issues that matter, to show the world just how much I care. That's the hardest, bravest, most patriotic thing in the world to do, Skinnee Jay, and all you can do is snipe at me for eating M & M's. It's easy to just stand around and criticize others; whereas it takes great courage to do what I'm doing to take our country back from the irreversible destruction Bush has wrought. Yes, even as I sit here eating my M & M's, I'm always thinking of how he's destroyed the world forever, and because of that I must never give up Raising Awareness of The One's promise to deliver us from the evil that is Bush.

Now, Skinnee Jay, do you have anything of substance to contribute to this discussion?

Is that a trick you learned from Our Many Titted Empress? You know, after the Clintons had their dog Buddy neutered we didn't hear a great deal about the Presidential Pecker and then he had a heart problem. The rhubarb was that Hillary had found a two-for-one sale.

Theocritus, as you know I was a faithful Hillary Operative until The One descended from above, so I'm no longer that kind of HO. I am now a Hussie for Obama, but I will not hesitate to use the lessons I learned from the Empress in defense and praise of His 'Oly Name.

Skinnee Jay: Nice avatar. Would you be one of the Sailor Scouts? I thought they all disbanded to join the Obama Youth so they could use their special powers to spread Hope and Change throughout the universe.

And if it means you're a gurl, then that will greatly excite The Man With The Hand That Holds The Cube. He tends to drop it with a great surprised clunk every time a new female wanders into The Collective.

I heard M&M is a big bad corporation. I hope you know what that means. Also, only The Red Square's voice counts because he got The Voice of The People. I'm still gonna get my Heller card because Red Square <3 Skinnee Jay.

Spare me your petty distractions from The Real Issues, Skinnee Jay.

Yes, I eat M & M's a couple of times a year, and I feel horribly guilty about it, just as I feel guilty about plagiarizing the words of others like Laurie David. I probably shouldn't do it. But the truth is, I'm not perfect. This is not about perfection. I don't expect anyone else to be perfect either. That's what hurts the Progressive Movement--holding people to a standard they cannot meet. That just pushes people away.

The important thing is that I care about the issues that matter--the right to abortion, opposition to the Iraq war, and undying hatred of Bush. In fact, I have worked tirelessly to Raise Awareness about the issues that matter, to show the world just how much I care. That's the hardest, bravest, most patriotic thing in the world to do, Skinnee Jay, and all you can do is snipe at me for eating M & M's. It's easy to just stand around and criticize others; whereas it takes great courage to do what I'm doing to take our country back from the irreversible destruction Bush has wrought. Yes, even as I sit here eating my M & M's, I'm always thinking of how he's destroyed the world forever, and because of that I must never give up Raising Awareness of The One's promise to deliver us from the evil that is Bush.

Now, Skinnee Jay, do you have anything of substance to contribute to this discussion?

Anything?

Anything at all?

Woops. I thought progress was supposed to be perfect. I mean, didn't Karl Marx wanted a perfect society? However, I do understand your problems. I will also Raise wareness and protest against Bush. I bet Da Mamba KKKonspirasi was his fault.

Oh and sorry for double-post, but yeah. He played Yossaria. I checked it at Wikipedia.

Gloriousl! Our proles are using the NewsSpeak Creation "WIKI" (Worthless Information Knowingly Inserted) system and feeling very confident concerning the answers obtained there. Yet another hard won victory for the Party and the Ministry of MiS-Information's Mission (MSM).

The Wikipedia has Commandant Gore listed as a Harvard cum laude graduate despite his many C grades and a D in earth science. When Harvard was asked about it, they stated he did have a cum laude average in his Government Classes. Another great example of DoubleSpeak. Truly we are winning this war.....

Woops. I thought progress was supposed to be perfect. I mean, didn't Karl Marx wanted a perfect society? However, I do understand your problems. I will also Raise wareness and protest against Bush. I bet Da Mamba KKKonspirasi was his fault.

Today's Modern Progressives uh De Party (should be trademarked fo' socialism soon) duzn't hold demselves down t'puh'fecshun. Dat would interfere wid de feelin's uh de Victim Class dat we's depend downon fo' unquesshunin' suppo't. Man! So's whut if Bill lied unda' oad in sexual harassment law suit; dat's about sex, and we all honky jibe about sex. Right? Feel bettah? ah' do. 'S coo', bro. Only de O'ly One be puh'fect, as long as we's feel pimp-tight about his intenshuns.

Now, we's do hold conservatives down t'de standard uh puh'fecshun. If ya' even tap yo' toes in de men's room, den ya' iz EBIL and gots'ta end yo' life. Dat be why Bu$hitla' be so's hated by de baaaad feelin' folks uh Today's Modern Progressives uh De PartyTM--CUZ BUSH WON'T UHF HISELF WHEN WE (Party members, intellectuals, and media o'gans) TELLS HIM DAT HE BE EBIL. Feel pissed about Bush? See dat gots'ta all make sense; if not stand in Jiffy-Lobo line.

NEXT FOO' brace yourself!

(Today's Modern Progressives of The Party (should be trademarked for socialism soon) don't hold themselves up to perfection. That would interfere with the feelings of the Victim Class that we depend upon for unquestioning support. So what if Bill lied under oath in sexual harassment law suit; that's about sex, and we all lie about sex. Right? Feel better? I do. Only the O'ly One is perfect, as long as we feel good about his intentions.

Now, we do hold conservatives up to the standard of perfection. If you even tap your toes in the men's room, then you are EVIL and must end your life. That is why Bu$hitler is so hated by the good feeling folks of Today's Modern Progressives of The PartyTM--BECAUSE BUSH WON'T OFF HIMSELF WHEN WE (Party members, intellectuals, and media organs) TELL HIM THAT HE IS EVIL. Feel enraged about Bush? See it will all make sense; if not stand in Jiffy-Lobo line.

Wait. You're saying we're not perfect because we are the Victim class? Oh I see. We support the Victim class. However, we can't support the Victim class if they're not victims right? Oh I see! Then what do you think of what Israel is doing right now against the HamAss?

Oh, and can anyone tell me how to do that "TM" thing? Thanks for sharing!

Skinnee Jay, we support victims if we can't claim to be victims. It's much better to be a vicim than anything else, unless you can support victims and then get to say who gets to do what, and the power is better than the misery memoir. I mean, what would you prefer: having wounds or selling the gauze and antiseptic and making other people pay for it?

Hamas is good because when Hamas tries to blow up Israelis and they screw up and get hurt and try to go back to Palestine, the Palestinians won't have them and the Israeli hospitals treat the people who tried to kill them.

I'll bet you're really happy that Comrade Dr. Strangelove gave you a translator for the Solstice Holiday. I know I am. Is it derived from Swahili? Our Obamessiah speaks this dialect too,(as do all Kenyans) Has Commissar Theocritis tossed some bling your way, yet for your tireless promotion of his new $$$ grabbing scheme?

And Comrade Skinnee Jay, what is this bullshit about our glorious Red Square 's <3 than you?You had better watch what you say about our wonderful Red Trapezoid! He wields the biggest, baddestshovel of all in the collective, prole!

We must also hate Israel for their very large number of entrepreneurs, their start-ups, and their technology. They design silicon chips, the same ones that Palestinians used in computers to get calling lists to call Americans to get them to vote for his O'liness. Who seems to be staffing his cabinet with people with no use for Israel. But since American Jews voted 81% for the Obamessiah, no doubt that will all turn around just fine.

Oh yeah I forgot. Israel is civilized-we should be progressive and go back to living in the nature. Like in "Lord of the Flies" right? Ralph is just a turd there. Jack was amazing. He sure supported freedom and equality and got rid of anyone who resisted.

Our teacher made us read that book, by the way. I live in Israel, so maybe it isn't so good if an Israeli teacher told you to read it.

You live in Israel? How can you have sympathy with the downtrodden? Your hospitals serve all sick people. You have an actual democracy. That is not the right thing for a progressive leading us to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

For this you are sentenced to cleaning off the remnants of the talent-shitting bird on the Rancho de Rio Grande.

Skinnee Jay, we support victims if we can't claim to be victims. It's much better to be a vicim than anything else, unless you can support victims and then get to say who gets to do what, and the power is better than the misery memoir. I mean, what would you prefer: having wounds or selling the gauze and antiseptic and making other people pay for it?

(My favorite is when we make the victims; blame the evil conservatives; gain power to support the victims; make more victims with that power; and then take moral credit for caring for the victims. Liberal job security, because we care.)

Che Gourmet

I'll bet you're really happy that Comrade Dr. Strangelove gave you a translator for the Solstice Holiday. I know I am. Is it derived from Swahili? Our Obamessiah speaks this dialect too,(as do all Kenyans) Has Commissar Theocritis tossed some bling your way, yet for your tireless promotion of his new $$$ grabbing scheme?

(I love my translator. I have to run it through three times, ghetto-jive-ebonics, to get it to come out right. I haven't receivedanything from Commissar Theocritis. I do owe him for my life. When my community organization skills failed to win Texas for his O'ly'ness, I was marked for termination. Brother Theo got me a gig as a gang-banger. Now I take steady money for government subsidies as a performing rap artist, as long as I don't really rap.)

You live in Israel? How can you have sympathy with the downtrodden? Your hospitals serve all sick people. You have an actual democracy. That is not the right thing for a progressive leading us to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

For this you are sentenced to cleaning off the remnants of the talent-shitting bird on the Rancho de Rio Grande.

I don't have sympathy for Israel. Famous bands come here. Anime community is evolving and Mangas are being sold without censorship. Library contains offensive books as "Slaughterhouse-Five" and there are attractions for gamers. I won't even go to the technology. It's a disgusting place. I can't write anymore. Not enough people pick a shovel and support true freedom. They just follow their hobbies and actually do something with their lives. Unlike ol' great HamAss.

I'm glad to find that you care nothing for Israel. You're quite right: shovels over research. Democracy over strapping bombs to retarded women. I bet you can't find a single Israeli willing to strap a bomb on his one-year-old child.

Oh, and can anyone tell me how to do that "TM" thing? Thanks for sharing!You type ( tm ) without spaces. It will automatically be replaced by ™ once you hit "enter". Any time you're curious about an element in the post, click on "quote" and examine the resulting code.

Oh, and I changed your avatar, The Skinnee Jay, to make it more compliant with the our revolutionary ideals: big red bows on top and big red D-cups on the chest. That is our standard for female comrades unless you are part of the Breasts Not Bombs collective; those have the Party permission to parade around without the big red D-cups on the chest - or any other cups for that matter.

A URL converts automatically to a link if it's preceded by other characters, but it doesn't if it starts a paragraph. So placing a dash or another character followed by space before the URL helps to turn it into a link.

I may do your request some other day when I have more free time. But you must justify the relevance of such work to advancing the Party cause, class struggle, and establishing the proletarian dictatorship. At this point the only connection I can see is weakening of the conservative bourgeois morals through pedophilia.

Comrades! These inflatable units need to be distributed equally to all party members. I know of a few comrades in Japan who even now are moving to be married to their cartoon character of choice. This would be the ideal for the new model of marriage in the world of next Tuesday. If the spousal unit were to offend physically or emotionally, out comes the eraser and all is well; no cartoon, no problem, I say! Slaves and repositories of lust with only the stroke of a pen. Perhaps the ONE(TM) could add this to his burgeoning agenda of important issues. Ten cartoon women to every man, mr. president.

Anime industry is on it's way to Capitalism(tm). I simply suggest using these too before the whole industry gets corrupt. Just like we use Chrismas to destroy the capitalist Christians, we shall use these 2 to destroy the capitalist Anime industry.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths

Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise