From experience, I have seen people who have tried these methods and have failed to get out. Miserably. In fact, by doing anything on that list, you will only prolong your agony and suffering. EAS (End of Agony and Suffering) is the ONLY cure with no bad after effects.

There is this thing called the Post 9/11 GI Bill, and it is insane in the membrane. How good is it? On a scale of 1 to 10, it’s a fucking million. Check this shit out. They pay for your school. They pay for your books. On top of all that, they give you Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) at the rate of an E-5 with dependents. It doesn’t matter if you got out as an E-1 or an E-9000. The BAH rate is dependent on the zip code of your school. So if you’re in Bumfuck, Nebraska, you’ll probably get like a few berries and twigs. However, if your school is in some heavily populated area like San Francisco ($2,742 a month), Los Angeles ($2,001 per month), Washington D.C ($2,106 per month), Boston ($2,493 per month), or New York City ($2,835 per month), you will be banking a lot of money.

You may think, “What’s the catch? In what shape or form does the green weenie fit into this?” The only catch is that in order to use this bill, you need an honorable discharge. So if you plan on getting out of the Corps by taking a dump on the roof your Commanding Officer’s car, I highly recommend that you cease and desist with that shit (no pun intended).

Just get out with 3.0/4.0 pros and cons, and you will get your honorable discharge. This benefit lasts for 36 months of schooling. The months can be broken up and used fractionally.

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