Snore White and the Huntsman

This is a film convinced it’s as epic as Lord of the Rings with Brother’s Grimm (movie) flair. Movies, as in fairy tales, are about the journey, not the destination. The journey in Snow White is so mind-bogglingly boring that by the time you get to the end-game you just want to go home.

This could be a by-product of another misleading trailer, of which this one was action packed:

The primary poster advertised was ripe with an armor clad Kristen Stewart, shield in hand. Despite a few (very short, sweet) actions scenes, mostly with the Huntsman, it didn’t live up to the hype. Like Lord of the Rings, it’s a walking fantasy with dwarfs/hobbits, not a talking/fighting fantasy, and it falls short in both respects.

The character development meets the bare minimum required to make it to the box office. Snow White’s troubled childhood isn’t fully fleshed out, but instead a collection of a few quick flashes of elegant Theron beauty/devilry and a brief note on the relationship of William to Snow.

The Evil Queen, Charlize Theron, is known for her talent as well as her looks, but she doesn’t live up to her standards in this flick. Most of her lines were cringe worthy and embarrassing. Yelling only makes it worse.

Chris Hemsworth as the huntsman, though a slightly enjoyable character because of his sarcastic personality and axe skills, still isn’t strong enough to support the cast. His relationship with Snow, as with William, is ultimately left ambiguous by the time the credits roll. The best performance, and arguably the most minor, was portrayed by Sam Spruell, who played the Evil Queen’s brother, Finn.

Some of the notable cameos include Nick Frost (Paul, Shaun of the Dead) and Bob Hoskins (Hook, Who Framed Roger Rabbit) as dwarfs, which added a little in the way of comic relief, but not enough. Through the first hour of the film it seemed the seven dwarfs were all but forgotten.

It’s hard to care about character struggles if we don’t care about the characters. As a result, this movie is as boring as it can get. It can garner a certain begrudging respect for its beautiful special effects, and attempts at creating a dramatic fantasy, but it doesn’t delve deep enough into the potentially rich character pool. Save yourself two and a half hours of boredom, unless you need a good nap.