Thoughts on life (and death and other stuff) from a dude who is committed to living every single minute of his.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Timeline Wake-Up Call!

As Facebook herds everyone into the new Timeline format, there has been lots of grumbling and moaning posted about the unrequested change. This got me to thinking about how so much of life is also "unrequested change", and about how many people grumble and moan about that too, whereas others simply take stock of what is so and set about making the most of it. There is an amazing short book called "Who Moved My Cheese" about exactly this distinction. I would absolutely recommend reading it, but here is a 12 minute video made by the author if you'd rather just watch it.

But back to Timeline ... Recently I have had almost identical conversations with two friends who have experienced a huge wakeup while playing with their new Timelines. They have both made enormous strides this past year in elevating their energy and attitude, but did not realize just how transfomative this change had been until scrolling back a few months and years in their Facebook postings.

"I was absolutely floored!" reported one. "I had no idea just how negative I was. I must have been horrible to be around. I was honestly embarrassed to read so much of what I had written - to the point that I actually wanted to start deleting it and wiping out evidence that I had ever put so much bad energy out into the world. Ultimately, I decided it should stand as a reminder of how far I have come."

The other put it this way. "It wasn't until I looked back on my old way of being with my new way of thinking that I realized just how much I was actually creating all of the conditions about which I was complaining. I also noticed that I was mostly attracting more of the same, with all of the comments from other negative people validating my disempowering opinions. What is especially incredible to see is how the same thing is now happening on the other end of that spectrum. As I share optimistic, positive posts, I now get messages and links and friend requests from people who share that perspective."

This got me to thinking about my own Timeline. So, this morning I went back 2008-2009. In the previous two years I had closed my successful business to embark on a life in politics, spent all of my savings on year-long campaign that ultimately went nowhere, resigned my candidacy, separated from my wife of 13 years, sold my home to repay incurred debt, and was now living in my truck, bartending (which is actually a great job), and trying to figure out what was next for me. It is safe to say that my cheese had been moved.

I knew my wall would not be too bleak and mournful, as that has never been my style, but I was still somewhat surprised by just how much joy there was! As hard as I looked, there was not a single shred of negativity. The closest I came was my self-deprecating Halloween joke, acknowledging my role in it all.

October 30, 2008: "is dressing for Halloween like a small-town Realtor going through a cliched midlife crisis ... should be a pretty easy costume for me to throw together ;)"

November 22, 2008: "is in a laundromat - yep, a laundromat. And actually kinda enjoying it!"

May 2, 2009: "WAHOO ... Katy and Jack have both gone undefeated and won GOLD medals as Canada East wrestling champions!!!"

June 23, 2009: "watching fighter jets practice for an air show over Lake Couchiching and feeling grateful to live in a part of the world where that is a good sound :)"

October 22, 2009: "... I love my parents and am very proud to be their son :)"

November 29, 2009: "makes a solemn promise to never complain about anything, and an equally firm commitment to not feed into anyone else's complaining by listening. I will gladly help solve a problem, but if its just venting count on me to always change the subject. There is always something to be happy about =)"

There is the old cliche that "someday you will look back on this and laugh", but I was laughing and smiling in the midst of the trainwreck. Rather than focusing on all that was going wrong, and all that I could "justifiably" complain about, I was finding and expressing the good among it all.

I recently had a friend challenge my attitude about... well, about attitude. He said "That is all fine and good, but you can NOT be happy when you are broke and homeless." But I WAS broke and homeless, and I WAS happy. My answer is "If you are broke and homeless, you are already broke and homeless. Why would you also want to add unhappy to that equation?"

"This is our time—the time each one of us has been given.

Yet we get lost in semantics—what is good, bad, right, wrong.

What do we forget? Everywhere, someone has a request, someone has a prayer.

“Make this happen. Give me a better job. Give me a better life.”

We forget what we have been given.

Somehow, we are unable to look at what is in front of us—the most beautiful, the most magnificent.

There is no greater blessing than the coming and going of this breath."

... Prem Rawat

Ultimately, I unequivocally believe that it was my commitment to maintaining that positive perspective that allowed me to bounce back and rebuild a life of which I am proud and for which I am grateful, rather than staying mired in a challenging situation and dragging everyone else around me down with the ship.

I want to suggest that you take the lead of the two friends I mentioned near the beginning of this post, and look back at your timeline to see what energy you have historically put out on Facebook. And notice whether you were helping or hurting yourself in the process.

It is certainly not a coincidence that during that same 2008-2009 stretch, I posted a link to the essay "Glory In The Highest' by Rob Brezsny. I have reposted it on many occasions since but, just in case it has ever seemed like too much effort to click, I am simply copying and pasting it below. Please read it and add it to the list of all the things you have to be grateful for right now!

Glory In The Highest
...excerpted from PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia

Thousands of things go right for you every day, beginning the moment you wake up. Through some magic you don’t fully understand, you’re still breathing and your heart is beating, even though you’ve been unconscious for many hours. The air is a mix of gases that’s just right for your body’s needs, as it was before you fell asleep.

You can see! Light of many colors floods into your eyes, registered by nerves that took God or evolution or some process millions of years to perfect. The interesting gift of these vivid hues comes to you courtesy of an unimaginably immense globe of fire, the sun, which continually detonates nuclear reactions in order to convert its body into light and heat and energy for your personal use.

Did you know that the sun is located at the precise distance from you to be of perfect service? If it were any closer, you’d fry, and if it were any further away, you’d freeze. Here’s another one of the sun’s benedictions: It appears to rise over the eastern horizon right on schedule every day, as it has since long before you were born.

Do you remember when you were born, by the way? It was a difficult miracle that involved many people who worked hard on your behalf. No less miraculous is the fact that you have continued to grow since then, with millions of new cells being born inside you to replace the old ones that die. All of this happens whether or not you ever think about it.

On this day, like almost every other, you have awoken inside a temperature-controlled shelter. You have a home! Your bed and pillow are soft and you’re covered by comfortable blankets. The electricity is turned on, as usual. Somehow, in ways you’re barely aware of, a massive power plant at an unknown distance from your home is transforming fuel into currents of electricity that reach you through mostly hidden conduits in the exact amounts you need, and all you have to do to control the flow is flick small switches with your fingers.

You can walk! Your legs work wonderfully well. Your heart circulates your blood all the way down to replenish the energy of the muscles in your feet and calves and thighs, and when the blood is depleted it finds its way back to your heart to be refreshed. This blessing recurs over and over again without stopping every hour of your life.

Your home is perhaps not a million-dollar palace, but it’s sturdy and gigantic compared to the typical domicile in every culture that has preceded you. The floors aren’t crumbling, and the walls and ceilings are holding up well, too. Doors open and close without trouble, and so do the windows. What skillful geniuses built this sanctuary for you? How and where did they learn their craft?

In your bathroom, the toilet is functioning perfectly, as are several other convenient devices. You have at your disposal soaps, creams, razors, clippers, tooth-cleaning accessories: a host of products that enhance your hygiene and appearance. You trust that unidentified scientists somewhere tested them to be sure they’re safe for you to use.

Amazingly, the water you need so much of comes out of your faucets in an even flow, with the volume you want, and either cold or hot as you desire. It’s pure and clean; you’re confident no parasites are lurking in it. There is someone somewhere making sure these boons will continue to arrive for you without interruption for as long as you require them.

Look at your hands. They’re astounding creations that allow you to carry out hundreds of tasks with great force and intricate grace. They relish the pleasure and privilege of touching thousands of different textures, and they’re beautiful.

In your closet are many clothes you like to wear. Who gathered the materials to make the fabrics they’re made of? Who imbued them with colors, and how did they do it? Who sewed them for you?

In your kitchen, appetizing food in secure packaging is waiting for you. Many people you’ve never met worked hard to grow it, process it, and get it to the store where you bought it. The bounty of tasty nourishment you get to choose from is unprecedented in the history of the world.

Your many appliances are working flawlessly. Despite the fact that they feed on electricity, which could kill you instantly if you touched it directly, you feel no fear that you’re in danger. Why? Your faith in the people who invented, designed, and produced these machines is impressive.

It’s as if there’s a benevolent conspiracy of unknown people that is tirelessly creating hundreds of useful things you like and need.

There’s more. Gravity is working exactly the way it always has, neither pulling on you with too much or too little force. How did that marvel ever come to be? By some prodigious, long-running accident? It doesn’t really matter, since it will continue to function with astounding efficiency whether or not you understand it.

Meanwhile, a trillion other elements of nature’s miraculous design are expressing themselves perfectly. Plants are growing, rivers are flowing, clouds are drifting, winds are blowing, animals are reproducing. The weather is an interesting blend of elements you’ve never before experienced in quite this combination. Though you may take it for granted, you relish the ever-shifting sensations of light and temperature as they interact with your body.

There’s more. You can smell odors and hear sounds and taste tastes, many of which are quite pleasing. You can think! You’re in possession of the extraordinary gift of self-awareness. You can feel feelings! Do you realize how improbably stupendous it is for you to have been blessed with that mysterious capacity? And get this: You can visualize an inexhaustible array of images, some of which represent things that don’t actually exist. How did you acquire this magical talent?

By some improbable series of coincidences or long-term divine plan, language has come into existence. Millions of people have collaborated for many centuries to cultivate a system for communication that you understand well. Speaking and reading give you great pleasure and a tremendous sense of power.

Do you want to go someplace that’s at a distance? You have a number of choices about what machines to use in order to get there. Whatever you decide—car, plane, bus, train, subway, ship, helicopter, or bike—you have confidence that it will work efficiently. Multitudes of people who are now dead devoted themselves to perfecting these modes of travel. Multitudes who are still alive devote themselves to ensuring that these benefits keep serving you.

Maybe you’re one of the hundreds of millions of people in the world who has the extraordinary privilege of owning a car. It’s a brilliant invention made by highly competent workers. Other skilled laborers put in long hours to extract oil from the ground or sea and turn it into fuel so you can use your car conveniently. The roads are drivable. Who paved them for you? The bridges you cross are potent feats of engineering. Do you realize how hard it was to fabricate them from scratch?

You’re aware that in the future shrinking oil reserves and global warming may impose limitations on your ability to use cars and planes and other machines to travel. But you also know that many smart and idealistic people are diligently striving to develop alternative fuels and protect the environment. And compared to how slow societies have been to understand their macrocosmic problems in the past, your culture is moving with unprecedented speed to recognize and respond to the crises spawned by its technologies.

As you travel, you might listen to music. Maybe you’ve got an MP3 player, a fantastic invention that has dramatically enhanced your ability to hear a stunning variety of engaging sounds at a low cost. Or maybe you have a radio. Through a process you can’t fathom, music and voices that originate at a distance from you have been converted into invisible waves that bounce off the ionosphere and down into your little machine, where they are transformed back into music and voices for you to enjoy.

Let’s say it’s 9:30 a.m. You’ve been awake for two hours, and a hundred things have already gone right for you. If three of those hundred things had not gone right—your toaster was broken, the hot water wasn’t hot enough, there was a stain on the pants you wanted to wear—you might feel that today the universe is against you, that your luck is bad, that nothing’s going right. And yet the fact is that the vast majority of everything is working with breathtaking efficiency and consistency. You would clearly be deluded to imagine that life is primarily an ordeal.

1 comment:

John, I distinctly remember your post of Nov 29 2009. It had a real impact on me because I realized that I had become a complainer, and I wanted it to stop. I've slowly but surely come around to a more positive attitude, thanks to the examples set by you and some other friends of mine. Just this week, I've lapsed back into old habits, and have been feeling miserable. But you're right - shit happens; why would I want to add unhappy to that shit? So, even when you were broke and homeless (and I had no idea that you were broke and homeless at that point) you were making positive change. Now I'm working on being that role model for my kids.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ MY MUSINGS THIS MANY TIMES ...

SO, JUST WHO THE HELL IS THIS JOHNNY WAITE GUY ANYWAY???

Realizing this is a few years out of date - ha!! Will be back soon to update :)
Well, first and foremost, a "bon vivant". Owner/operator of Alter Ego Life Adventure Company, where I coach people on designing lives that express who they really know themselves to be, under all of the "stuff" that life has piled onto them. Defining THEIR adventure, then going for it! I have a BA in Psychology from McMaster University, am a certified Hypnotherapist, Personal Trainer and Life Coach. AND I have lived a very full life from which to draw! I have been nominated as Business Leader of the Year (twice) AND been broke! I have been the keynote speaker for the Green Party of Ontario, run for MP as a Liberal AND used to be a card carrying Conservative. I am an incredible dad but I did leave their mom (the beautiful, smart, funny Karen - read her "Musings From The Squirrel Cage" blog below). I've had jobs I loved and jobs I have hated. So, trust me when I say "I understand that life can be challenging!" Recently, I completed The Death Race (45 hours of hiking, climbing, swimming, dragging, etc) in Pittsfield, VT (www.youmaydie.com). You can contact me at johndavidwaite@gmail.com or 705-345-4665.