In New ABC Reality Show, Celebrity Culture Continues To Eat Itself

There is no industry more thriving in Hollywood than that of the former celebrity. There was a time when 15 minutes of fame actually meant 15 minutes of fame, but now a blog can get you a TV show or a movie, a YouTube video can get you a singing career, and a sex tape will set you for life. NO FAME IS TOO SMALL. There will always be an audience around to watch barely famous people humiliate themselves, and if the failure is big enough, that can translate to even MORE fame. D-list celebrity isn’t real. It’s a construct barely propped up by reality-competition hosts, who will likely one day be contestants on shows just like their own: “Tom Bergeron’s Meth Rehab! Hosted by and Starring Tom Bergeron!” Or “Former Stand-Up Comedian, Former Emmy Winning Actor, Brief Movie Star, Cartoon Voice and Game-Show Host confronts his germ fear and in one last gasp for fame shakes hands with as many Thai prostitutes as possible in 60 seconds in ‘Howie Mandel’s A Minute Til Death!” Or M.C. Hammer stars is “Hammer Time,” a game show where Hammer glides sideways across the floor while contestants throw power tools at his junk! NEXT SEASON ON NBC. We’re about three years away from “Celebrity Euthanasia,” where former celebrities have their drug overdoses LIVE ON TV!

ABC’s new reality competition, Sing Your Face Off, is pretty much the very definition of celebrity culture eating itself: Each week, 5 “celebrities” will dress up and impersonate a legendary singer, and by “legendary” they probably mean “Katy Perry.”

The celebrities will spend hours in the makeup chair and train to mimic the icon’s walk, talk and mannerisms leading up to a live performance in front of the judges and studio audience. The show is based on the a popular reality format that’s been sold in 20 countries titled Your Face Sounds Familiar. ABC has ordered six episodes.

In this clip from an international version of the show, a pseudo-celebrity impersonates Amy Winehouse, who was saved from impersonating other legendary singers on shows JUST LIKE THIS ONE by her unfortunate drug overdose.

Sheesh. It’s only a matter of time, people, before pseudo celebrities are lined up, ass-to-mouth, and filmed actually eating themselves, making literal the metaphor.

What sorta blows my mind is that we still don’t have a legit Running Man show. Come on, fucking Hollywood, if people will watch this lame-ass shit, imagine the ratings you’d pull in for a The goddamn motherfucking Running Man. There has got be a tiny island nation somewhere on earth that would furiously masturbate all over itself while negotiating away it’s right to rule itself in exchange for a shit ton of money that Hollywood would offer in exchange for the ability to film The Running Man on their island FOR REAL.