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School bans slang

If there's one thing that schools love doing over anything else, it's trying to ban fun.

With strict rules on clothing, ball games, student intermingling, food and pretty much anything else that would make a teenager happy, they exist as joyless pits of misery.

So, you can expect yet another student outcry in Sheffield sometime soon. The Springs Academy are banning their pupils from using slang while on the premises. While outlawing swearwords is nothing new, they're hoping to take it one step further.

Students will have to refrain from using anything which deviates from standard English. So words like "hiya" and "cheers" will have to be replaced with "good morning" and "thank you". It also means goodbye to "ta" (also being converted to "thank you") and no more "see ya".

The trust who runs the academy believe that it will give the pupils a better chance at getting jobs in the future. Because no-one in the real world says hiya...