Stir it up one more time!

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Category: Art, humour, farce

Perception, a strange yet factual concept. Truth does not necessarily amount to factual content. Again, it’s all about perception. Let’s take serendipity for example. Is certainly is a factual word (the dictionary doesn’t lie), yet some people don’t believe in it. That would then make it untrue, in their minds. If you are a believer of serendipity, your idea of such an occurrence could gravely differ from that of another believer’s. This then brings us back to perception. I’m not one to spoon feed anyone information so use your imagination. Point being, perception is a fact. The truth of any perception is not a fact per se. What it basically boils down to is that the more we contemplate various points of view, be they fact, fiction or even plausible, dwelling too much on such topics can cause madness to ensue. This can then become the most serendipitous revelations of all, hence this writ. Then again, it could have you committed and certified… Again – perception!
P.S. Don’t let the fear of madness stop you from thinking further than what’s presented in books and texts and scribes. I.e. be a little mad!

Fear of the Unknown
As the popular as the saying “there’s nothing to fear but fear itself” may be, can we get a little more specific? We always tend to tend to think it’s the fear of enormous feats that it refers to but as humans, we do like to over dramatize don’t we. If in your heart of hearts you think it means go out and take over a multimillion dolllar company, by all means do so, if it’s within your ability AND if that’s your calling. But we all have different dreams and different fears and personally I think it’s unnecessary to do something you’re afraid of, no matter how dangerous it is, just to prove you can. It’s overcoming the fear of something that’s holding you back from experiencing your life in full colour. Whether it’s the fear of picking up a paintbrush and going savage on a canvas without fearing the outcome. It may not be a masterpiece but it sure as hell is going to give you a spring in your step for actually doing it! If you’re usually the most polite and soft spoken person under the sun yet still get treated like you’re a nothing by some pompous bag of inflated ego, speak up for once. Do it load and proud, okay that may get you into a spot of trouble if it’s in a work situation but that’s what the human rights commission is there for and nothing, I mean NOTHING feels as good as standing up for yourself does! I’m going to skip the cliché’s – go sky diving, etc because, well honestly it’s been encouraged as a fear overcoming tool ad nauseum (not that I wouldn’t mind doing it!) Rather back to the very basic and fundemamental obstacle: The fear of change. Yeah, let that sink in for a while…

RANDOM THOUGHTS – THE UNDERSTATED JEWEL OF CREATIVITY.
If you’ve woken up from a dream that made absolutely no sense, not even starring anyone you’ve ever seen in person or crazy looking creatures. You’ve probably wondered, “Holy fudge brain, what were you thinking?” And then there are the daily random, seemingly irrelevant thoughts that pop up in our minds, only to discarded because WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT! Perhaps this is because of conventional conditioning, as in stick to the rational; if it makes no sense then it must be non-sense! Bull twang! What if those random pop ups are our creative and intuitive ideas trying to get our attention. We might not know what the message is yet or what to do with them. But if you push them to one side, you’ll never know. All works of art, be it music, writing, hell anything creative, are born out of randomness. So next time a fleeting random thought flashes through your mind, give it a little more attention. You never know where it could take you and if anybody dares to call you batshit crazy for having them, well the jokes on them… can’t imagine a life with no creative thoughts no matter how irrelevant or seemingly insignificant they may be. Embrace the random – if not for the pioneers of the afore mentioned, we would be “admiring” blank pieces of art, bland food an oh so dull and underwhelming books. So go on, dance with the random, there’s much fun to be had…

With the everyday sensory overload we get from the media, we’ve become somewhat desensitised to struggles. Be it on a global scale or closer to home, the only struggles that receive our much needed attention are those that affect us directly. And also briefly for the most past. There are struggles that we deal with individually, that inspire us to do more than just posting, rt-ing, etc-ing about. Such as the hot off the press book by Author (and fanbloodytastic artist) Richard “Rex” Strife called Denial (@OfficialRichardStrife).
What about (and this is where you know it’s about to get supremely up in your face sarcastic) the everyday seemingly insignificant struggles? I’ll keep it as brief as possible and to the point:
As a human owned by a cat I can say, without a doubt, the struggle whether to remain seated and become a relic worthy of The Queen of the Damned, is REAL! Kitty’s sleeping happily, 5 hours later; kitty’s still sleeping happily “OMGOOOOD”!
When you’re in the gym, as a QUALIFIED trainer, trying to pass some useful tips to a newbie and a geriatric gym (still heinously overweight despite daily “training” sessions steps into the sacred space and starts spewing out all the useless lingo “when your lateralis medialis humerus femur…”. WTF!!! OH YEAH NOW I SEE WHERE YOU’VE GONE WRONG, you think but may not say. The struggle is REAL!
And a final petty yet darkly comical characteristic, not suited for all folks; Ever tried to suppress a laugh at the most innapropriate moments? The struggle – OH THE STRUGGGGLE!
The biggest struggle all of us encounter is the struggle to be REAL. I don’t mean real as I perceive or like but real to the core. As much as the struggle not to cry or pout (not provocatively) is to the beauty queen, when her plastered on nails chip or an eyelash is out of place. So is the struggle for me not to viciously remark on where I believe those accessories will find a good home (anyone remember THE BUTTHOLE SURFERS?). Same can be said for someone who is always nice when deep down they’re thinking of 20 thousand ways to crucify you. That struggle is REAL! And let’s face it, some of our “real” intentions could probably have us incarcerated, making it even more of a struggle to be REAL!
So next time you encounter a situation that rings true with “if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck – IT IS A MOTHERFLUFFING DUCK!” , keep it real, just move on, mumble (say it for me.. YFC!), and remember somewhere in the world right now, there are cool cats tripping on acid trying to put IKEA furniture together!

Intro to Marley & Strypes.
“So Strypes, I here you got a new girlfriend hey. Is she hot?”
“Marley my man, she is and I reckon she exercises like a demon!”
“Really?”
“No shit, her mother tuned her ‘ don’t leave home without your “Misfit badge”
“Shweet. She got any hot friends?”
“One bird from Eastern Europe or something”
“A foreigner hey?”
“Full on bruh, she schemes her bud’s the nicest Lesbanian she’s ever met!”
“Nice! So your girl, is she local?”
“Nooit hey, I think she’s from New Zealand”
“Her accent?”
“No, each time we walk past the guys at the pub they say ‘here comes the Mahoerie'”
“Do you at least share the same taste in music?”
“For sure bruh, she loves Queen. She’s always humming ‘I want to break free’ when we’re alone”
“So have you met her whole family?”
“Her dad actually introduced us, we were cell mates”
“You mean like pen pals?”
“I suppose, pen-itentiary pals!”

“So Strypes, I here you got a new girlfriend hey. Is she hot?”
“Marley my man, she is and I reckon she exercises like a demon!”
“Really?”
“No shit, her mother tuned her ‘ don’t leave home without your “Misfit badge”
“Shweet. She got any hot friends?”
“One bird from Eastern Europe or something”
“A foreigner hey?”
“Full on bruh, she schemes her bud’s the nicest Lesbanian she’s ever met!”
“Nice! So your girl, is she local?”
“Nooit hey, I think she’s from New Zealand”
“Her accent?”
“No, each time we walk past the guys at the pub they say ‘here comes the Mahoerie'”
“Do you at least share the same taste in music?”
“For sure bruh, she loves Queen. She’s always humming ‘I want to break free’ when we’re alone”
“So have you met her whole family?”
“Her dad actually introduced us, we were cell mates”
“You mean like pen pals?”
“I suppose, pen-itentiary pals!”

“How was your art class, Strypes?”
“Not bad Marley but I scheme my teacher didn’t like me too much hey”
“Why? Did she fail you?”
“No dude, she musta thought I had no taste ’cause she kept tuning me to put colour on my palate!”
“So what did you paint? Like wildlife & stuff?”
“You mean like a party?”
“No bruh, like zebra”
“See what?”
“ZEbra”
“See WHAT, bruh?”
“Never mind, how about artists? Learn about anyone famous?”
“This one chap, Van Gogh, cut his ear off because of some chick!”
“He probably also couldn’t hear”
“Michael Angelo painted the entire roof of the sixteenth chapel!”
“Wasn’t that that Da Vinchi oke?”
“No, I think he wrote some book about a code or something”
“Who else bruh?”
“There was this one dude who’s work was so good ’cause it was “so real” you know, Salvadore Dali”
“Nice, family of the Dali lama?”
“No, he might be from Cuba, you know where Cubism comes from!”