Tuesday, August 13, 2013

You're Finally here! I've Been Waiting For you...

Finally Aunt Flow came to visit!! Yes I am telling the world! After years of long distance relationship she decided to come for a surprise visit. This is too soon to tell if it's a rogue period so I will wait and see if it will start to come monthly again. But I am happy! It's funny how most chicks take their period for granted because it is a monthly annoyance but any former Cushie gets so excited for theirs. We gotta remember that our periods are a signal of fertility and health. Sure back then I liked having less but it was a huge red flag that something was really wrong. I told my family that I would throw a period party and everyone has to wear red lol but I think I will wait for the next one just to make sure I am not jumping the gun. Plus I am feeling soooooooo tired. let me explain...

So lately I've been feeling all sorts of "hormonal" which is just a nice way of saying I'm feeling crazed and dazed. Well for one, I was starting to try to taper down a bit after feeling somewhat okay these past few weeks and after a few days of tapering down the steroids. I started feeling extremely low and dizzy. I literally felt like crying every waking moment and I was overwhelmed everywhere I went and everthing I did. I couldn't understand why... I got that summertime sadness...Then a few days ago my boyfriend said that I've been really acting off and he started to question if I have been trying to taper down myself again. So I admitted yes I have been for a week now and basically I got scolded for tapering down without the doctors consent and now I am back up again... I have to agree that Muffin was right about this one. I feel MUCH better on a higher dose. This is hard because after years of my adrenal gland tumor producing way too much steroids, even taking the physiological dose is scary to think about. I heard many people get pseudo Cushing's even on a low dose for a long period of time so of course any Cushing's patient would not like that idea... But anyways I think I'll be okay with this higher dose now. I just need to let my body do it's thing.. My thought process is still strange since I truly believe that if I go on the lowest dose I can deal with, that my lazy lefty will feel challenged and start working again but I have learned this is not a good idea the many times I've tried to taper down. Anyways, I guess doctors and loved ones knows best.. This week I have been so sore and achy. I have been having many digestive problems ever since the surgery and I am feeling tired. I woke up at 3pm today... My feet feels swollen again and my lady lumps are crazy swollen too I cant sleep but I guess that's what happens during this time of the month. It just feels magnified. But you know what? I'll take any of this pain if that means it's part of me recovering. Thank you Aunt Flo!