I grew into a kinder person, more gentle and tenderhearted and more important for me, I learned to view life through humor goggles.

Have I forgiven the mean girls?

Oh hell no.

I hope they grew up to be ugly, broke and lonely. I said I was kinder and more gentle. I didn’t say I was a saint.

In truth, I have no need to forgive them. I hope as they matured they came to understand the damage they could have done and were sorry about their actions. Maybe they did or maybe they just got meaner.

Now, when I see or hear about a situation where a child is being taunted or bullied it sends me back there for just a minute.

I want to hug the child and tell him or her that one day it will be okay. I want to tell them they need to find that place within themselves where they are okay.

I want to tell them that there are good, loving people in the world and they will know that if they just hang on and hang in.

( I want to tell them about dog shit in a flaming bag on a doorstep…again … not a saint)

Yes, a part of me still wants to pinch the heads off those little bitches. But the mature, gentle part usually keeps that part in check.

There will always be mean girls and sometimes they grow up to be mean adults. We just need to make sure our kids know how to deal with those people. We as adults need to know how to deal with those people.

I don’t give mean people space in my life. Each minute is too precious to waste in argument or defensiveness.