To That Guy

Did you know my life was better without you in it? Way back before I even met you? But it was the best when you came unexpectedly. I can’t say that you are the perfect guy because there is no such thing as that. But I appreciate on how you made yourself perfect for me. The first time you laid your eyes on me I was like “woah, that’s the kind of look I want to see for the rest of my life.” Our first meet was not that memorable, it was in a certain mall and we don’t have that much time because you are flying back to your country. But you know what? It’s not being memorable or what, it is being with the person who stood by beside you.

I was scared the moment you left my side that day, but it was the scariest when you ask me to be yours and have this thing we called “Long Distance Relationship”. I don’t know what to say or to react that time, I was speechless but part of me was happy, I mean, isn’t that the best feeling in the whole world? When a guy came into your life and accepted the whole of you? Being with you was indeed a ride of a roller coaster. We’ve got our ups and downs, fights and arguments and sweet and bitter love just what like normal couples do. I always told you how blessed I am to meet someone like you. You are my love from the star and I was your love sent from above. We always make God as the center of our relationship. And you always say, “for this relationship to work we just need to be honest and be loyal to each other.” For a moment there, I thought “us” would actually work until the end.

It’s been how many months since we had our last conversations as a couple right? I know I’ve been really busy this past few days and it’s been a tough fight between the two of us. We tried and fought for the love we thought we had, but things just don’t end the way we expected it to be. I am not writing this to tell everybody the whole story of us instead, I am writing this because for those months that we’ve been together I’ve kept you a secret from everyone. You may call this too late, but I am here now to show the world how great of a guy are you and how thankful I am.

You are the most effort guy I had ever encountered. Imagine? Sending me those stuffs every month just to remind me that I am loved was the best part of you. Writing a book for me was the most incredible thing you ever did and going home just to see me was the perfect. But I lost all of that. We may lose the relationship we had but I want to thank you for saving our friendship. Can ex-lovers be friends? We’ll see.

This last gift you sent hit me hard. Your note says “I know you will see a lot of girls holding flowers, chocolates and bears everywhere and I am not there for you to experience it, so I’m sending this instead. I just want to say sorry and thank you. Sorry for the pain I’ve caused and thank you for everything. Moments with you was irreplaceable. I know that how happy we are right now, you and I will always carry a piece of each other, let it be known that we found home in each other’s warmth and you’ll always have a piece within me. You deserve the best and nothing less.” That note made me realize how lucky I am. You are a single lesson, but a lot was learned, what we had made me who I am today, and I am thankful. To that guy who was always there for me, you may not have my heart, but I want you to know that you always have my full support. See you again soon, my friend.

The New In The Old

Have you ever had one of those day where it seems like nothing is going the way you planned? And all you can do is look back at the mistakes you made or could have done better?

Or have you ever looked back at moments in your life and wished that there was a button that you could push? A button that could cause you to rewind, whatever you did? Or whatever you said?

If only life really worked life that, right?

This year I’ve tried to take a novel approach to this notion. Instead of trying to change the past or run from it. Sometimes it can be better to embrace. Embrace those things that may not have worked out as planned.

Sometimes to travel forward it means taking a couple steps back...

There is a quote from one of my favorite movies My Big Fat Greek Wedding that states, “Don’t let the past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you will become”.

Does that mean that we should obsess and dwell over the past? No. I don’t think so. But, I think that if we should face our past mistakes and breathe life into them. Rather than carrying them like burdens on our back.

Now with all this in mind, it’s not an easy thing to do. There are many times that I may think back to little mistakes that I’ve made and shake my head. But acknowledging what we could have done instead and keeping that in mind for the next time is the first step.

American Cartoonist Bil Keane once said “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present”.