My Journey to Becoming a Better Me

Author: beatingthebeasts

I am writing here for the first time at such an insane hour in the evening. Or should I say morning?

I am just beginning a journey that I’ve tried so many other ways that everyone else kept telling me I should do. “Do this… No, try this… Oh, this should work!”

What is it?

I’m sure many of my readers will know what this “Giant” I’m talking about as it is an epidemic in this country.

Yes, it’s my weight. I’m not wanting to lose it because I want to look like models I see in magazines and on the television. Hell, no! They’re, in reality, unhealthy with the high expectations of being super skinny (which really needs to change). I want to lose it because of my health.

Granted, I don’t have tons to lose like those on Biggest Loser, but the extra weight I’ve put on has put a big pinch on my health. I just lost my uncle to heart disease, and I’ve developed high blood pressure. On top of that, I’m pre-diabetic.

Ugh. Seriously… I was skinny and lean growing up, and to be at this point in my life, it’s embarrassing. Yet, I know I’m not alone. I’ve seen people beat their weight giants with Weight Watchers, Beachbody, and several other hyped up weight loss program out there. You know what I’m talking about, right? I’ve tried several, and I’ve lost weight and gained it all back. I’ve come to realize it’s not a diet I need to do but a WHOLE lifestyle change.

That’s going to be one hard challenge. Why? I’ve developed the most common eating habit that a lot of us women have – emotional eating. I’m also a nighttime snacker. I love food and how it makes me feel good at the moment, but I realize that its making me sick. Literally. I’m taking medications I don’t want to have to take and I’ve developed neuropathy in my feet. I’m too young for this!

The other problem I have is finding the right support group. I am Deaf and its hard to find others like me in a city I’m still relatively new in. I tried working with hearing people, but it’s so alienating when they laugh at a joke that goes over my head and they don’t see me. They’d tell me they’re so inspired by my story of overcoming obstacles despite my deafness. That’s nice and all, but it makes me even more alienated when they make a point of how different I am from them.

I recently gave up on trying to just put up with the lack of communication around some of my hearing peers and decided to just venture out in my community to find more Deaf people I can be with. I’m not abandoning some of the friendships I developed with some of them, as they do try to learn sign language and respect my needs, but I’m moving on to find my tribe and common community to connect with.

I am hoping, as I write in this blog and share my journey to finding this said community and fighting the giants of my weight and getting my health back, I can encourage and find like minded readers/writers.