Wimbledon Centre Court to use sprinklers and create rain when roof is closed

In a bid to re-create exact British summer conditions at all times during the tournament, Wimbledon chiefs have agreed that they will switch the sprinkler system on at key stages during any matches in which a British player is participating.

It is a response to the criticism levelled at the tournament about not supporting the home grown talent enough and making it too easy for those foreign types.

"British players thrive in the wet, having been brought up in a climate where playing in the rain is tradition, the norm and something to enjoy. For too long we have pandered to the overseas players needs, by stopping play for a bit of drizzle, and even forked out a fortune on a roof, but now we are saying, no-more, this is a British tournament, and we need, sorry it would be nice to have a home grown winner."

Officials from the 2012 Olympic committee are also thinking about a similar type of pro-British action, by making all athletes wear Kagools and wellington boots during any outdoor track and field event, in order to even up the field, and boost our chances.