Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Jessi Refreshes | Why is the Dead Sea dead?

Last week Jessi and Hayley introduced their refresh series with these words:

"If you feel a little lost, fragmented, not quite yourself...

If you feel dusty and tired, or frozen and locked up...

we understand."

Those words met me while I was 35 weeks pregnant and exhausted. They met me during a long, long winter that just wouldn't (and still won't) go away. I was feeling frozen. I was feeling locked up. I wasn't feeling like the wife, the mom, the friend, or the Christ-follower I wanted to be.

They invited us all to refresh and we joined.

This is where my journey led me.

Driving home from our date night on Friday my world stopped for a moment. Through the snow blowing I saw a man step off the city bus, his sleeping son draped over one shoulder. In his other hand he carried several bags. His feet shuffled under the weight of his load. I could see the exhaustion in his eyes. He only caught my attention for a moment, but something grabbed my heart.

I didn't know the man nor did I know his story, but in that moment God gave me a glimpse into his pain. Aching with sympathy I started to cry. Through my tears I tried to explain to my husband what I was feeling. My heart, which had been feeling a little frozen after the long winter, melted at the sight of this man. The months of self focus that had left me feeling a little locked up had finally been cracked open. He got it, and he put his finger on something I had been missing. He asked, "Why is the Dead Sea dead?"

The Dead Sea is dead because there are no outlets. The water flows in, sits around, and becomes stagnant. All of those things I had been feeling: tired, frozen, locked up, the waters had become stagnant. Keeping with the analogy, the waters of my heart needed to be refreshed. My moment with the man on the bus was the Holy Spirit stirring the waters. The waters needed to pour out.

Just like this winter, being shut up in our house waiting for Spring I had let my heart become locked up: crying for my circumstances, praying for my own needs and feeling pain for my hurts. My journey to refresh led me to Friday night and to that man on the bus, a man that God used to call me outside myself, to remind me that being refreshed comes from pouring my life out for others. For the hurting, the poor, the lonely and the broken.

His invitation for me and maybe you, "The waters are stagnant Beloved, and its time to refresh."