May 29, 2012

I have clouded memories of my childhood, so when I think back of my favorite things to do as a child, I'd have to say reading! I loved books then, I love books now. It was amazing to me how words could one day transport me to other parts of the world, especially exotic places like Greece or Paris and another day running through a dark alley hiding from a serial killer who's chasing me! The genres I enjoyed most were Mystery, Thriller or Action. I enjoyed crime-fiction, detective stories with whodunit plots. But, by far my favorite genre was Romance; stories of true love conquers all. I think I even got to own the whole Harlequin Romance series! I'd finish one book and pick up another just as fast. I loved castles and princesses and remember daydreams of prince charming and knight in shining armours. I believe I was born an old romantic fool and I will always be one...it's in my blood.

Although I do believe that one can love more than once, in my heart of all hearts, I truly believe in that one special love that comes but once in a lifetime. You know, the kind of love that melts your heart to the warm heat of that never-ending first kiss. Ahhh, that gentle warm kiss igniting your soul into a burst of burning desire for more. (deep deep sigh). Yea you know the one, that kiss that makes your feet grow wings leaving you so delusional you'd swear you floated in air. See what I mean? I'm just an old romantic fool! Once upon a time I thought I was lucky enough to have found this once in a lifetime kinda love, turns out it wasn't after all, but that's a whole other post.

Vicky Burch

Anyway, that is why when Vicky came by my cubicle one early morning in March, with tears in her eyes, I couldn't help but be touched by her untold love story. The deep sadden eyes and the tone of her voice as she expressed how it was the anniversary of his death, his would-be 58th birthday as well as the never-got-to-share 40th wedding anniversary all within days apart, clearly reflected someone in need of being heard. So, I complied. I listened and I was inspired! Thus, the interview...

Q: How many years since the loss of your beloved husband?

A:6 1/2 years now.

Q: How did he pass?

A: It's hard for me to say because he was hurting before he went, but it was a series of unfortunate events that finally took him from me. He worked as a plumber and one day he was on site at a hospital bracing a beam in the ceiling. During this task, the brace broke leaving him to hold the heavy beam with his arm for at least ten minutes before help arrived. As a result of this, he injured his arm forcing him into disability as well as requiring a prolonged regimen of multiple medications. Five years later, he suffered a stroke. I was told that most likely the combination of the multiple prescription drugs and prolonged use of the medications is what caused my late husband to suffer a stroke. Consequently, it ended up shutting-down four of his major organs leading to his death.

Q: How did you deal with his death?

A: In a way I was relieved to see the pain off of his face, but I did have to make a very difficult decision that day. I had kept him up for 24 hours on life support before I finally let him go. Coincidentally, about two weeks prior, he and I had discussed the option of life support and he expressed he did not want to be kept on life support should there be no brain activity. So, I ordered the brain test, although I already knew he wasgone. I felt it! The test results came back negative for brain activity. This made me very sad, but I knew he was suffering no more.

Q: How did you feel?

A: I sat there, and I felt like my heart had broken in two. It's funny because that day I related most to a refrigerator magnet. There was a pair of heart magnets we hung on the fridge door, that we had bought for each other long ago. Ironically that day the heart fell and broke in two pieces! And that was exactly how my heart felt that day! I picked up the pieces and taped it back together...to this day I still have it.

Q:The day you came to my cubicle telling me it was the anniversary of his death, can you tell me of your emotions of that day?

A: March 20th would have been Chet's 58th birthday. On the 21st we would have been celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary. I was very sad and depressed over the days, thinking about it. But, at the same time I was very thankful and glad for all the wonderful memories we shared with our love and 33 years together. I teared up several times throughout both days, missing him very much.

Q:How did all the emotions of that day affect you?

A: I turned down an invitation to dinner that evening just to be by myself. After work, I bought a dozen red roses and two balloons. One said "Happy Birthday, the other had a red heart on it and said "All My Love". I went to the cemetery afterwards and laid down the roses in the shape of a heart on the ground in front of our headstone which holds a picture of he in I in our younger years. I also always catch him up on what is new and what is going on with our family. I told him how much I miss him. I also tell him all of the love I still feel for him and always will. I never leave without telling him that I will Love him forever and ever, and I Love him "Whole Bunchies". That was our favorite saying to each other. Then I went home and called up both of my sons to see how they were doing. They have been a great strength for me.

Q: Vicky, are you presently in a relationship?

A: Yes, I am with a wonderful man named Michael. We have been dating for over a year now. He is the first guy I dated since I was 16 years old. I was shy with him at first with my feelings, but have now opened them up and shared them with him. The love is given both ways, he always says "It takes two".

Q:Did you share with Michael your emotions on the anniversary of your late husband's death?

A: I did share these emotions with Mike.

Q:What was his reaction?

A: He called me later in the evening and he could tell I was upset and had been crying. I told him about going to the cemetery, reflecting that it would have been a special anniversary this year. He said that was very nice of me to have taken flowers out to the grave site and spent time with him. He said "I hope someone cares about me that much when I am gone". He tried to cheer me up and he understood why I wanted the time by myself that evening. He did get me to laugh and feel better by the time we hung up. I was smiling by the time I went to bed reflecting on the love I had with my first True Love and the Love I now have for Mike, thinking how blessed I was.

Q:How do you feel about Mike's reaction to your emotions of that day?

A: I am glad he is very understanding when I talk about my late husband. He shared with me that he gets jealous, but knows he can't come back to me. He has never said anything negative about it. He was very thoughtful getting me into a better mood.

Q: Any guilt derived on still having feelings for your late husband while in a relationship with Mike?

A: I don't feel guilty now when I am happy and feeling good about things. I went through years of changing emotions and feeling guilty like I was betraying him when I was enjoying myself. I didn't know how you could feel happy, excited, angry, frustrated and sad all at the same time. But, as time went on I realized that is what made me who I am. I remember going to the cemetery and sitting there crying for hours when I told Chet I was going on with my life and was going to start dating. That was right before the 5th anniversary of his death. I also remembered that he had told me just a couple of weeks before he died, that if he died first, he wanted me to go on with my life and get married again.

Q: Do you feel these emotions you undoubtedly still have for your late husband, may or do, affect your present relationship with Mike?

A: I feel that we have a great relationship filled with Love and Trust. We have an open and honest relationship, discussing things in the past and talking about the future.

Q: Vicky, if the world were listening right now, what would you say to anyone out there who may be in the same situation as you?

A: Trust your heart! I felt like mine had broken in half and I felt like I lost half of myself when I lost him. You go through a lot of emotions when you lose your True Love. Time helps you heal. Be sure of yourself and who you are and what you are capable of before you date. I had to do this for myself and feel good about ME before I could share.

Q: Is there anything you miss from the relationship you shared with your late husband?

A: Everything. I miss snuggling with him, we always fell asleep in each others arms every night. I miss all the little things he did for me. I miss being told "I Love You" with every phone call leaving for work or returning home, especially each night before I went to sleep. I miss seeing the sunrises and sunsets together. I was very connected to him psychically so, that every time he would go fishing he'd ask me if I could guess how many fish he caught an I'd guess it right almost every time! It was like the number just jumped into my thoughts. We always laughed about it together.

Q: Does the heart really go on Vicky? Do you really never forget that one True Love?

A: Your heart doesgo on. Your loss hurts alot and you just want to shut everything out of your life. Don't stop loving everyone else you have in your life. You need to be part of their lives too. You still need to be mom, grandma, sister, friend and a daughter. They will help you get through this. The one thing that helped me the most was the Lord. Going back to church on a regular basis, when I had not been in years. I will never forget my True Love and all of what we had! I will Love him forever. My feelings are not any less for him even though he has departed. I know we will share eternity together.

Q: Vicky, one last question I ask almost everyone I interview...If money were non-existent and the Universe provided ALL of the needs for one to live comfortably, how would you spend your days?

A: I would live life to the fullest every day. Live it like you may die tomorrow. Experience new things, I would love to travel and see the world. I would love to spend each day watching the sunrise and sunsets. It would be nice to spend each day like the special times spent around the Holidays, where family gets together to have a good time and create good memories with each other.

Vicky's story, although sad, acknowledges with definite assurance that the heart does go on! More importantly that only Love is real. Her story has only strengthen, in my heart of all hearts, the belief in that one special love that comes but once in a lifetime! I want to express my deepest gratitude to Vicky for her courage in opening up the doors of her heart and allowing us in.

Do you believe in True Love? Do you have a once in a life time Love story you'd like to share? As, always keep coming back for more of...to Inspire and be Inspired!

I have clouded memories of my childhood, so when I think back of my favorite things to do as a child, I'd have to say reading! I loved books then, I love books now. It was amazing to me how words could one day transport me to other parts of the world, especially exotic places like Greece or Paris and another day running through a dark alley hiding from a serial killer who's chasing me! The genres I enjoyed most were Mystery, Thriller or Action. I enjoyed crime-fiction, detective stories with whodunit plots. But, by far my favorite genre was Romance; stories of true love conquers all. I think I even got to own the whole Harlequin Romance series! I'd finish one book and pick up another just as fast. I loved castles and princesses and remember daydreams of prince charming and knight in shining armours. I believe I was born an old romantic fool and I will always be one...it's in my blood.

Although I do believe that one can love more than once, in my heart of all hearts, I truly believe in that one special love that comes but once in a lifetime. You know, the kind of love that melts your heart to the warm heat of that never-ending first kiss. Ahhh, that gentle warm kiss igniting your soul into a burst of burning desire for more. (deep deep sigh). Yea you know the one, that kiss that makes your feet grow wings leaving you so delusional you'd swear you floated in air. See what I mean? I'm just an old romantic fool! Once upon a time I thought I was lucky enough to have found this once in a lifetime kinda love, turns out it wasn't after all, but that's a whole other post.

Vicky Burch

Anyway, that is why when Vicky came by my cubicle one early morning in March, with tears in her eyes, I couldn't help but be touched by her untold love story. The deep sadden eyes and the tone of her voice as she expressed how it was the anniversary of his death, his would-be 58th birthday as well as the never-got-to-share 40th wedding anniversary all within days apart, clearly reflected someone in need of being heard. So, I complied. I listened and I was inspired! Thus, the interview...

Q: How many years since the loss of your beloved husband?

A:6 1/2 years now.

Q: How did he pass?

A: It's hard for me to say because he was hurting before he went, but it was a series of unfortunate events that finally took him from me. He worked as a plumber and one day he was on site at a hospital bracing a beam in the ceiling. During this task, the brace broke leaving him to hold the heavy beam with his arm for at least ten minutes before help arrived. As a result of this, he injured his arm forcing him into disability as well as requiring a prolonged regimen of multiple medications. Five years later, he suffered a stroke. I was told that most likely the combination of the multiple prescription drugs and prolonged use of the medications is what caused my late husband to suffer a stroke. Consequently, it ended up shutting-down four of his major organs leading to his death.

Q: How did you deal with his death?

A: In a way I was relieved to see the pain off of his face, but I did have to make a very difficult decision that day. I had kept him up for 24 hours on life support before I finally let him go. Coincidentally, about two weeks prior, he and I had discussed the option of life support and he expressed he did not want to be kept on life support should there be no brain activity. So, I ordered the brain test, although I already knew he wasgone. I felt it! The test results came back negative for brain activity. This made me very sad, but I knew he was suffering no more.

Q: How did you feel?

A: I sat there, and I felt like my heart had broken in two. It's funny because that day I related most to a refrigerator magnet. There was a pair of heart magnets we hung on the fridge door, that we had bought for each other long ago. Ironically that day the heart fell and broke in two pieces! And that was exactly how my heart felt that day! I picked up the pieces and taped it back together...to this day I still have it.

Q:The day you came to my cubicle telling me it was the anniversary of his death, can you tell me of your emotions of that day?

A: March 20th would have been Chet's 58th birthday. On the 21st we would have been celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary. I was very sad and depressed over the days, thinking about it. But, at the same time I was very thankful and glad for all the wonderful memories we shared with our love and 33 years together. I teared up several times throughout both days, missing him very much.

Q:How did all the emotions of that day affect you?

A: I turned down an invitation to dinner that evening just to be by myself. After work, I bought a dozen red roses and two balloons. One said "Happy Birthday, the other had a red heart on it and said "All My Love". I went to the cemetery afterwards and laid down the roses in the shape of a heart on the ground in front of our headstone which holds a picture of he in I in our younger years. I also always catch him up on what is new and what is going on with our family. I told him how much I miss him. I also tell him all of the love I still feel for him and always will. I never leave without telling him that I will Love him forever and ever, and I Love him "Whole Bunchies". That was our favorite saying to each other. Then I went home and called up both of my sons to see how they were doing. They have been a great strength for me.

Q: Vicky, are you presently in a relationship?

A: Yes, I am with a wonderful man named Michael. We have been dating for over a year now. He is the first guy I dated since I was 16 years old. I was shy with him at first with my feelings, but have now opened them up and shared them with him. The love is given both ways, he always says "It takes two".

Q:Did you share with Michael your emotions on the anniversary of your late husband's death?

A: I did share these emotions with Mike.

Q:What was his reaction?

A: He called me later in the evening and he could tell I was upset and had been crying. I told him about going to the cemetery, reflecting that it would have been a special anniversary this year. He said that was very nice of me to have taken flowers out to the grave site and spent time with him. He said "I hope someone cares about me that much when I am gone". He tried to cheer me up and he understood why I wanted the time by myself that evening. He did get me to laugh and feel better by the time we hung up. I was smiling by the time I went to bed reflecting on the love I had with my first True Love and the Love I now have for Mike, thinking how blessed I was.

Q:How do you feel about Mike's reaction to your emotions of that day?

A: I am glad he is very understanding when I talk about my late husband. He shared with me that he gets jealous, but knows he can't come back to me. He has never said anything negative about it. He was very thoughtful getting me into a better mood.

Q: Any guilt derived on still having feelings for your late husband while in a relationship with Mike?

A: I don't feel guilty now when I am happy and feeling good about things. I went through years of changing emotions and feeling guilty like I was betraying him when I was enjoying myself. I didn't know how you could feel happy, excited, angry, frustrated and sad all at the same time. But, as time went on I realized that is what made me who I am. I remember going to the cemetery and sitting there crying for hours when I told Chet I was going on with my life and was going to start dating. That was right before the 5th anniversary of his death. I also remembered that he had told me just a couple of weeks before he died, that if he died first, he wanted me to go on with my life and get married again.

Q: Do you feel these emotions you undoubtedly still have for your late husband, may or do, affect your present relationship with Mike?

A: I feel that we have a great relationship filled with Love and Trust. We have an open and honest relationship, discussing things in the past and talking about the future.

Q: Vicky, if the world were listening right now, what would you say to anyone out there who may be in the same situation as you?

A: Trust your heart! I felt like mine had broken in half and I felt like I lost half of myself when I lost him. You go through a lot of emotions when you lose your True Love. Time helps you heal. Be sure of yourself and who you are and what you are capable of before you date. I had to do this for myself and feel good about ME before I could share.

Q: Is there anything you miss from the relationship you shared with your late husband?

A: Everything. I miss snuggling with him, we always fell asleep in each others arms every night. I miss all the little things he did for me. I miss being told "I Love You" with every phone call leaving for work or returning home, especially each night before I went to sleep. I miss seeing the sunrises and sunsets together. I was very connected to him psychically so, that every time he would go fishing he'd ask me if I could guess how many fish he caught an I'd guess it right almost every time! It was like the number just jumped into my thoughts. We always laughed about it together.

Q: Does the heart really go on Vicky? Do you really never forget that one True Love?

A: Your heart doesgo on. Your loss hurts alot and you just want to shut everything out of your life. Don't stop loving everyone else you have in your life. You need to be part of their lives too. You still need to be mom, grandma, sister, friend and a daughter. They will help you get through this. The one thing that helped me the most was the Lord. Going back to church on a regular basis, when I had not been in years. I will never forget my True Love and all of what we had! I will Love him forever. My feelings are not any less for him even though he has departed. I know we will share eternity together.

Q: Vicky, one last question I ask almost everyone I interview...If money were non-existent and the Universe provided ALL of the needs for one to live comfortably, how would you spend your days?

A: I would live life to the fullest every day. Live it like you may die tomorrow. Experience new things, I would love to travel and see the world. I would love to spend each day watching the sunrise and sunsets. It would be nice to spend each day like the special times spent around the Holidays, where family gets together to have a good time and create good memories with each other.

Vicky's story, although sad, acknowledges with definite assurance that the heart does go on! More importantly that only Love is real. Her story has only strengthen, in my heart of all hearts, the belief in that one special love that comes but once in a lifetime! I want to express my deepest gratitude to Vicky for her courage in opening up the doors of her heart and allowing us in.

Do you believe in True Love? Do you have a once in a life time Love story you'd like to share? As, always keep coming back for more of...to Inspire and be Inspired!

May 27, 2012

I love it when, without searching...POOF!!! Something captures my eyes. My heart is stimulated. Time stands still. And the pumping of the heart agitates an invasion of goose-bumps covering my entire body from head to toe. When this happens, I know I've been inspired! And when I'm inspired, I can't help but feel this peaceful knowing-sense of responsibility to share the inspiration. The world is full of inspiration, it's all around us. A cat's or dog's hungry tender gaze; a crying babies sigh of relief in finding comfort in it's mother's arms, a kind shout-out "can I call someone for you?" to a stranded roadside fellow human; the flowers, the trees, the warmth of the sun, the pitter-pattering sound of the rain. If we are willing to acknowledge and accept this fascinating fact and choose to at least be consciously in-tune to it, you will sense it too. Yesterday morning my inspiration was Phire White's silent cry of pain for the loss of her Grandma. Was she next to me or in the same room with me? No, as a matter of fact, I've never even met Phire White. All I do know of her is when she was living here in Kansas, she worked with one of my sisters. So about a month or two ago, I befriended her thru Facebook and she accepted. And this Saturday morning, distance had no barring between Phire White and I, as a matter of love, my heart heard her silent cry of pain loud and clear. And that is inspiration! Here is Phire's words of solace...

I can't help but recall God's timing...the perfection that he keeps reminding me of

I can't help but remember that I wasn't there when your number was called my dear brother nor yours my beautiful mother, so,

I can't help recall the timing entangled with the loss of it allI can't help but believe God knew I would not be there for your call home either Grandma so heisolatedme today in preparation knowing how I respond...inwardly...specifically to trauma andpersonal tragedyI can't help but see this all spiritually, because I've been in this place a time or two beforeso I can't help but know that prayers and soul tie travel to places where the human eye can't see..theplace between the body and the eternal heavenly gatesI can't help but trust God to becarrying you right nowI can't help but know that at the sound of his voice, you will turn toward him foreverI can't help but smile at the thought of those who await you, countless loved ones who have gonebefore now prepare for youI can't help but see Grandpa, Mr. Kenneth, all your brothers, your sisters, friends, cousins, your oldest daughterand even your oldest boy grandchild are talking to the angels about you making sure that your end sees no sufferingI can't help but wait to see your face one final timeand I can't help but remember that I don't have to do so to be able to say good-byeI can't help but cry as I sit here typing this to youI can't help but praise God for a life yoked together with youI can't help but knowthat all this was his determined planAnd I can't help but knowing, your pain will soon be over and God himself now holds your handI can't help but honor the race you ran for lifeAnd although I can't feel at this very moment, I can't help but know that every thing is going to bealrightNo, I couldn'thelp it even if I wanted toSo I put down my will and letthe will of God ensueIlove you. Rest well. Suffer no more.Peace...Be still.

There you have it...my Saturday morning's POOF of inspiration with Phire. I love life! I love living life! I always try to live consciously in "constant awareness" of the whispers and signs that are out there helping to guide us through life's journey. Those who know me can vouch that my camera, voice recorder or pen and journal are always at arms way. But, there are times when I naturally just lay back, so the "constant awareness" mode bolts down to "chillin'" mode. This is when I find the most fascinating inspirations...simply because they find me! That's what happened to me Saturday morning. My eyes fell upon a picture on FaceBook of Phire kissing an aged woman, then her first words captured my heart and it wasn't until I finished the last word, that I realized time had stood still. Her story was my story...a story of loss. A story to many others, I'm sure, but also that many may still hold within not realizing there is freedom in sharing, whether its through words, a song or a conversation. There is a sense of inner peace and inner freedom in sharing with one another, especially if it inspires others to do the same. It can also serve as a way of comfort to someone you may not even know needs it. And this is why I was inspired...POOF!

I want to give a special thanks to Phire White for her kind willingness and courage to share her story and pictures with me to share with others.

What inspires you? Do you have an inspiration you'd like to share? If so, please feel free to leave a comment. As always, keep coming back for more of...to Inspire and be Inspired!

I love it when, without searching...POOF!!! Something captures my eyes. My heart is stimulated. Time stands still. And the pumping of the heart agitates an invasion of goose-bumps covering my entire body from head to toe. When this happens, I know I've been inspired! And when I'm inspired, I can't help but feel this peaceful knowing-sense of responsibility to share the inspiration. The world is full of inspiration, it's all around us. A cat's or dog's hungry tender gaze; a crying babies sigh of relief in finding comfort in it's mother's arms, a kind shout-out "can I call someone for you?" to a stranded roadside fellow human; the flowers, the trees, the warmth of the sun, the pitter-pattering sound of the rain. If we are willing to acknowledge and accept this fascinating fact and choose to at least be consciously in-tune to it, you will sense it too. Yesterday morning my inspiration was Phire White's silent cry of pain for the loss of her Grandma. Was she next to me or in the same room with me? No, as a matter of fact, I've never even met Phire White. All I do know of her is when she was living here in Kansas, she worked with one of my sisters. So about a month or two ago, I befriended her thru Facebook and she accepted. And this Saturday morning, distance had no barring between Phire White and I, as a matter of love, my heart heard her silent cry of pain loud and clear. And that is inspiration! Here is Phire's words of solace...

I can't help but recall God's timing...the perfection that he keeps reminding me of

I can't help but remember that I wasn't there when your number was called my dear brother nor yours my beautiful mother, so,

I can't help recall the timing entangled with the loss of it allI can't help but believe God knew I would not be there for your call home either Grandma so heisolatedme today in preparation knowing how I respond...inwardly...specifically to trauma andpersonal tragedyI can't help but see this all spiritually, because I've been in this place a time or two beforeso I can't help but know that prayers and soul tie travel to places where the human eye can't see..theplace between the body and the eternal heavenly gatesI can't help but trust God to becarrying you right nowI can't help but know that at the sound of his voice, you will turn toward him foreverI can't help but smile at the thought of those who await you, countless loved ones who have gonebefore now prepare for youI can't help but see Grandpa, Mr. Kenneth, all your brothers, your sisters, friends, cousins, your oldest daughterand even your oldest boy grandchild are talking to the angels about you making sure that your end sees no sufferingI can't help but wait to see your face one final timeand I can't help but remember that I don't have to do so to be able to say good-byeI can't help but cry as I sit here typing this to youI can't help but praise God for a life yoked together with youI can't help but knowthat all this was his determined planAnd I can't help but knowing, your pain will soon be over and God himself now holds your handI can't help but honor the race you ran for lifeAnd although I can't feel at this very moment, I can't help but know that every thing is going to bealrightNo, I couldn'thelp it even if I wanted toSo I put down my will and letthe will of God ensueIlove you. Rest well. Suffer no more.Peace...Be still.

There you have it...my Saturday morning's POOF of inspiration with Phire. I love life! I love living life! I always try to live consciously in "constant awareness" of the whispers and signs that are out there helping to guide us through life's journey. Those who know me can vouch that my camera, voice recorder or pen and journal are always at arms way. But, there are times when I naturally just lay back, so the "constant awareness" mode bolts down to "chillin'" mode. This is when I find the most fascinating inspirations...simply because they find me! That's what happened to me Saturday morning. My eyes fell upon a picture on FaceBook of Phire kissing an aged woman, then her first words captured my heart and it wasn't until I finished the last word, that I realized time had stood still. Her story was my story...a story of loss. A story to many others, I'm sure, but also that many may still hold within not realizing there is freedom in sharing, whether its through words, a song or a conversation. There is a sense of inner peace and inner freedom in sharing with one another, especially if it inspires others to do the same. It can also serve as a way of comfort to someone you may not even know needs it. And this is why I was inspired...POOF!

I want to give a special thanks to Phire White for her kind willingness and courage to share her story and pictures with me to share with others.

What inspires you? Do you have an inspiration you'd like to share? If so, please feel free to leave a comment. As always, keep coming back for more of...to Inspire and be Inspired!

May 20, 2012

I live a busy life with a full-time job, volunteering, blogging, special projects, meditating, writing, artwork, being a friend, sister, aunt, grandmother and Mother! Sometimes it can get to be a joggling match trying to configure a plan with a healthy balance that includes some "Me" time. Today, naturally being Mother's Day, I can't help but remember the most kindest and sweetest woman I've ever known...my beautiful Mother...Estrella.

I remember the day she departed and crossed over to the other side to go home and be with her higher power...God Jesus Christ. I was 18 and of course back then didn't understand or perceive it as such, so I remember locking myself in the closet and crying for hours before someone found me. All I knew was that my Mother was gone and I would never see her again. Today, I know her spirit lives on forever and will always be in my heart. My Mother lived a hard and suffering life. She bared 11 children, one still-born. She immigrated to the USA from Cuba in the 1960's, pregnant and with her 3 youngest children, having to leave her six oldest behind. I remember catching my mother crying in solace many times as a teenager and it wasn't until I became a Mother myself that I understood the pain she must have endured in having left her children behind. I know now a piece of my Mother died that day. She never did see them again. I remember the day a stranger knocked on our door asking for my Mother saying she was his mother too. He had come to the USA looking for her under her maiden name and it wasn't until quite some time afterwards that he learned her married name which led him to the front of our door. He was one of 4 brothers I never knew and I remember how he fell to her tomb side and wept for a very long time shouting "Mami, Mami!". It was heart-breaking.

Although my Mother had her share of struggles, she managed to give me good memories of her as well. I am grateful to my Mother for providing me with insights to the important things in life...integrity, be proud of who you are, be honest, always be loving and kind to others, always keep your word because your word is your honor, just to name a few. Oh yea, and always wear clean underwear just for the sake of it because you never know. She was funny too and she liked saying jokes. She also loved playing the acoustic guitar, maracas and the tambourine. But, the one thing I am ultimately and eternally grateful for is the teachings and examples of her undying faith in God Jesus. She'd tell me her faith in Him is what kept her sane in times of adversity and always found peace in her moments of desperation. Today, not only because of her example, but because of my own personal experiences with my Lord Jesus I, as she did for me, pass on to my daughters the same...the teachings and living examples of my undying faith in my God Jesus.

This Mother's Day I honor my soul in memory of my Mother. When I was a little girl I loved to read romance novels and mystery books like Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys. I remember my mother buying me my first Harlequin Romance Novel. Also, one of my favorite things to play with was with my paper dolls! They came with their own paper outfits and I loved picking out the different outfits and remember the excitement in dressing them up. I remember my mom buying me the paper dolls! As an adult I still love reading and many years ago, in Miami, I walked into a library that was selling a whole collection of Harlequin Romance and, of course, I bought all of them! About 200 books at 10 cents each, but sadly I had to part with them and donated them to a book store. I also enjoy thrifting and antique store shopping. About a year ago, to my surprise and amazement, I found a box of the Malibu Francie paper doll with its own paper doll plastic stand and a 21 piece paper wardrobe...this piece I still hold on too...dearly!

My Mother used to make me the best homemade lemonade ever! I honestly can say that I've never again tried a lemonade drink as delicious as the one my Mother used to make. I gave it a good try, and although it didn't even come close to tasting like hers, I had fun making it!

After the sour taste, well actually it wasn't that bad since prior to placing the slice of lime in my mouth, I had my sister Sari sprinkle some salt on it. But, we gotta keep this on the down-low cause my daughters can't find out...especially Chantelle (she hid the salt from me). Gotta love her for caring though! Besides, you can't blame me for wanting a little bit of salt on a lime slice. Right? And in my defense, I still don't know where she hid that dog-gone salt shaker! Anyway, about a little over a month, I decided to make some adjustments to my eating habits drastically, but for the better. Thanks to my baby sis Meri, a.k.a Ms J of Raw Matters, I am now eating, for the most part, cruelty free foods; translation...nothing containing animal products. For instance, the sweetener I used for the lemonade

is 100% pure unrefined sugar palm straight from the tree. It's not processed and contains NO animal products. You just grate it and voila...a yummy, healthy sweetener! Aaaah simplyy delicious!

Earlier I said, for the most part, because from time to time, I do have some dairy products like butter or cheese...I LOVE cheese! But, it is a gradual lifestyle change and besides, I one who aims at just enjoying life! I will say I feel healthier and superdeeduperdee energized! You all should check-out Ms J's blog, which in every respect she calls Raw Matters. You will find more on my "life-style" change challenges and triumphs in future blog posts.

For now let's stay with Mother's Day activities!

I guess taking a journey back to the past got me to thinking of my childhood days when I'd play outside in the hot summer days. Especially when I'd ride my bike free like a butterfly!

﻿

The world was blessed with a beautiful sunny afternoon in Olathe, Kansas making my bike ride far more enjoyable!

Although the day remembering my Mother evoked a hell of a roller coaster ride of emotions for me, which led to sudden brief moments of withdrawal involving lots of tissue, the day turned out to be a blast from the past! Thank you Mami for giving me life! I miss you! Thanks for your loving, kind and compassionate spirit and for always doing your best to provide me with the important things in life! Forever you are in my heart! Here's a special ride I took just for you to let you know I turned out alright, a bit crazy at times, but a pretty awesome person overall! I love you Mami!!!

Thank you all for sharing with me this special tribute in memory of my Mother. Stay tune for the post on what my daughters did for me on Mother's Day!

As always, keep coming back for more of...to Inspire and be Inspired! Tootles!

I live a busy life with a full-time job, volunteering, blogging, special projects, meditating, writing, artwork, being a friend, sister, aunt, grandmother and Mother! Sometimes it can get to be a joggling match trying to configure a plan with a healthy balance that includes some "Me" time. Today, naturally being Mother's Day, I can't help but remember the most kindest and sweetest woman I've ever known...my beautiful Mother...Estrella.

I remember the day she departed and crossed over to the other side to go home and be with her higher power...God Jesus Christ. I was 18 and of course back then didn't understand or perceive it as such, so I remember locking myself in the closet and crying for hours before someone found me. All I knew was that my Mother was gone and I would never see her again. Today, I know her spirit lives on forever and will always be in my heart. My Mother lived a hard and suffering life. She bared 11 children, one still-born. She immigrated to the USA from Cuba in the 1960's, pregnant and with her 3 youngest children, having to leave her six oldest behind. I remember catching my mother crying in solace many times as a teenager and it wasn't until I became a Mother myself that I understood the pain she must have endured in having left her children behind. I know now a piece of my Mother died that day. She never did see them again. I remember the day a stranger knocked on our door asking for my Mother saying she was his mother too. He had come to the USA looking for her under her maiden name and it wasn't until quite some time afterwards that he learned her married name which led him to the front of our door. He was one of 4 brothers I never knew and I remember how he fell to her tomb side and wept for a very long time shouting "Mami, Mami!". It was heart-breaking.

Although my Mother had her share of struggles, she managed to give me good memories of her as well. I am grateful to my Mother for providing me with insights to the important things in life...integrity, be proud of who you are, be honest, always be loving and kind to others, always keep your word because your word is your honor, just to name a few. Oh yea, and always wear clean underwear just for the sake of it because you never know. She was funny too and she liked saying jokes. She also loved playing the acoustic guitar, maracas and the tambourine. But, the one thing I am ultimately and eternally grateful for is the teachings and examples of her undying faith in God Jesus. She'd tell me her faith in Him is what kept her sane in times of adversity and always found peace in her moments of desperation. Today, not only because of her example, but because of my own personal experiences with my Lord Jesus I, as she did for me, pass on to my daughters the same...the teachings and living examples of my undying faith in my God Jesus.

This Mother's Day I honor my soul in memory of my Mother. When I was a little girl I loved to read romance novels and mystery books like Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys. I remember my mother buying me my first Harlequin Romance Novel. Also, one of my favorite things to play with was with my paper dolls! They came with their own paper outfits and I loved picking out the different outfits and remember the excitement in dressing them up. I remember my mom buying me the paper dolls! As an adult I still love reading and many years ago, in Miami, I walked into a library that was selling a whole collection of Harlequin Romance and, of course, I bought all of them! About 200 books at 10 cents each, but sadly I had to part with them and donated them to a book store. I also enjoy thrifting and antique store shopping. About a year ago, to my surprise and amazement, I found a box of the Malibu Francie paper doll with its own paper doll plastic stand and a 21 piece paper wardrobe...this piece I still hold on too...dearly!

My Mother used to make me the best homemade lemonade ever! I honestly can say that I've never again tried a lemonade drink as delicious as the one my Mother used to make. I gave it a good try, and although it didn't even come close to tasting like hers, I had fun making it!

After the sour taste, well actually it wasn't that bad since prior to placing the slice of lime in my mouth, I had my sister Sari sprinkle some salt on it. But, we gotta keep this on the down-low cause my daughters can't find out...especially Chantelle (she hid the salt from me). Gotta love her for caring though! Besides, you can't blame me for wanting a little bit of salt on a lime slice. Right? And in my defense, I still don't know where she hid that dog-gone salt shaker! Anyway, about a little over a month, I decided to make some adjustments to my eating habits drastically, but for the better. Thanks to my baby sis Meri, a.k.a Ms J of Raw Matters, I am now eating, for the most part, cruelty free foods; translation...nothing containing animal products. For instance, the sweetener I used for the lemonade

is 100% pure unrefined sugar palm straight from the tree. It's not processed and contains NO animal products. You just grate it and voila...a yummy, healthy sweetener! Aaaah simplyy delicious!

Earlier I said, for the most part, because from time to time, I do have some dairy products like butter or cheese...I LOVE cheese! But, it is a gradual lifestyle change and besides, I one who aims at just enjoying life! I will say I feel healthier and superdeeduperdee energized! You all should check-out Ms J's blog, which in every respect she calls Raw Matters. You will find more on my "life-style" change challenges and triumphs in future blog posts.

For now let's stay with Mother's Day activities!

I guess taking a journey back to the past got me to thinking of my childhood days when I'd play outside in the hot summer days. Especially when I'd ride my bike free like a butterfly!

﻿

The world was blessed with a beautiful sunny afternoon in Olathe, Kansas making my bike ride far more enjoyable!

Although the day remembering my Mother evoked a hell of a roller coaster ride of emotions for me, which led to sudden brief moments of withdrawal involving lots of tissue, the day turned out to be a blast from the past! Thank you Mami for giving me life! I miss you! Thanks for your loving, kind and compassionate spirit and for always doing your best to provide me with the important things in life! Forever you are in my heart! Here's a special ride I took just for you to let you know I turned out alright, a bit crazy at times, but a pretty awesome person overall! I love you Mami!!!

Thank you all for sharing with me this special tribute in memory of my Mother. Stay tune for the post on what my daughters did for me on Mother's Day!

As always, keep coming back for more of...to Inspire and be Inspired! Tootles!