Numbness

The numbness and tension created by the resistance to feel, is worse than actually feeling the painful emotions. Emotions like sadness, anger, shame and fear.

That numbness and resistance is often why we turn to coping mechanisms to shift our state. Food gives you a short lived high. Social media gives you a little kick. Alcohol gives you a buzz. Porn, cigarettes, drugs, gambling, they all give you something.

Do you like watching sad movies? Is it because it gives you a release. Because it let’s you feel sadness, you otherwise would suppress. Do you love it when the underdog rises and kicks the bad guy’s ass? Is it because you suppress your own truth and people please for fear of not being liked, but in the process abandon yourself? It can be so subconscious that you don’t know you’re even doing it. Get curious.

It’s an internal battle that you don’t even know is happening between your subconscious and you body. Your body just wants to release the energy of the emotion, rather than store it. The subconscious part of you that learned it wasn’t safe to feel pain just wants to push it down as quickly as possible.

And this fight between the body, who only wants to release the heaviness, and the subconscious, creates tension. It’s like a fog has taken over and you can’t find clarity. It’s like an elastic is being stretched to near snapping, but won’t snap.

Only sometimes it does and aggression erupts. A breakdown ensues and you feel like you’re falling and waiting for the impact. The fallout leads to more coping mechanisms until you’re back on autopilot. Never satisfied. Numb again.

Learning to feel your emotions solves all of this. Feelings is what makes you FEEL alive. It takes a compassionate, gentle journey inwards, through the layers that bind you. This is my approach.