Friday, May 2, 2014

“O
poor, unthinking human heart! The error will not go away; logic and reason are
slow to penetrate. We cling with both arms to false hope, refusing to believe
the weightiest proofs against it, embracing it with all our strength. In the
end it escapes, ripping our veins and draining our heart’s blood; until,
regaining consciousness, we rush to fall into snares of delusion all over
again.” Rabindranth Tagore (from ‘The Postmaster’).

‘Should we tell her or
not?’ the violent battle in our mind robs the every piece of peace we had. She
will be hurt beyond words if we do, but at least she will know the truth.
Initial hurt will eventually subsidize with the time, but fearing the hurt she
has to endure with shattering truth, we chose to keep the cat safely in the
bag. But masking the truth will also hurt her ultimately when she finds out, she had enough betrayal
from the loved one and we can’t let her believe the world isn’t worth trusting.
Somewhere down the line there is always somebody who cares about someone. She
is not a subject of deception and betrayal. There is a fire on both sides; one
end with the devastating truth and beautiful nonexistent fairy castle she built
at the other end.

Last time we made a
mistake of hiding truth from her, she was more hurt not with the truth, but the
fact that we choose to hide from her. If last one was gunfire this time is an
atom bomb that will blow her faith completely. She was wounded and sank into a
different world of isolation earlier. We had to tell her this time and we
promised to stand by her side.

After spilling every
truth with the little courage we had, she scanned our faces and smiled weakly.
She said it makes sense as there was a connection between what she knew and
what we told. She asked when we knew about the truth. Honestly, we said "recently". I said that good things come to an end so better things can take
place.

After soaking into a
momentary silence, she asked “Does anyone have a very sad movie? I want to watch
tonight.” breaking a silence with laughter.

We joined her and were
glad that she took it positively like always. She is our rare and brave girl.
You have a way to go dear and I know you will be reading it, so want to let you
know that we love you beyond words. I could tell you in person, but you know
how bad I am with the words, I will freakishly lend up blurting nonsense and
stupid.

I wonder, did we do the
right thing by telling you? We did what we thought was best for you, but guilt plays
a prominent role when you transits into a world of silence.