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Monday, April 18, 2011

I Just finished watching The Day After Tomorrow. I don't know why I do this to myself. Movies like that make me want to run and huddle in a room with my family. They fill me with fear and paralyze any dreams of spontaneous living. I am not kidding. This is why I stay away from legal dramas, sci fi flicks, horror, and anything with more suspense than Green Eggs and Ham. I know that watching this movie will make me feel like the end of the world is at my door step. Yet I still sit paralyzed by the promise made from father to son,

"I will come for you, do you understand me? I will come for you. "

I have seen this movie before and it doesn't make sense that I would put myself through this torment again. Then it happens. The end.

"Who is that?"

"My father. You made it."

"Of course I did. "

I grab my face and press the tears in. The reminder that there was someone in my life that loved me like that. Don't get me wrong I had a mother who would do anything for me and I am eternally grateful for. Yet, there has always been a missing piece. That father - making it. Even through death.

Next movie: Pride & prejudice (Yes the 5 hour one.) What cinematic torment do you endure?

Monday, April 4, 2011

1. Put Cohen back in school. This decision scares me to bits. I imagine children giving him tips on how to drive me crazy, torment his siblings even more than he already does, and develop unhealthy habits like drinking milk through his nose! School is a scary place. I should know I lived taught there for a few years. I know...I know...he will be fine.

I just love this picture of my first and last. Sweet!

2. Embrace my domestic life. When my husband's cousin read that I wrote for Blissfully Domestic she laughed and made fun-just a little. I felt a tinge of hurt but dismissed the thoughts that carpooled along. I tried to explain that I am not living in la la land. I know that parts of my life scare most people - even me. But I do find bliss throughout my life in little pockets on my apron, in cheeks full of home cooking, and size 3 overalls. I love being at home. I wish I could conjure up a list of reasons right now. But it is more about the things I can't describe or take pictures of. The pauses. The luxury of time. The learning woven in and out. It is in pyjamas at noon and time to make filet-au-poivre just because. It is making rainbows throughout the day, and Costco runs with the Besties. Okay I said I wasn't going to make a list but I did. What can I say- I made a decision.

The epitome of domestic bliss!

3. Take a compliment. Thank you.

4. Take care of myself. It all started with the girls weekend away. I washed my face- at night. I bought my favourite body product and dressed in the light. I even looked in the mirror up close and from afar. Something in me clicked. I wanted to paint my toes, wear lipstick that didn't blend, and wash my face every night. It felt good. It made me feel human- again.