Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. --Fyodor Dostoevsky

01 February 2007

a little bit nervous

it is official... i have applied to grad school... i sent my stuff... on time... now i have to wait... and i am a little bit nervous... the way the pope is a little bit catholic... the way iraq is a little bit muslim... the way republicans are a little bit greedy... the way democrats are a little bit idealistic... the thing is there are a few bits of my application materials which give me cause to be a little bit nervous... my grades were somewhat less than stellar in some cases, leaving me with a less than ideal gpa... also i have no idea what was said in my letters of rec... i didn't even know that one of them was done until the english department contacted me to tell me what i still needed to turn in... and i won't know until april... i hate waiting... i hate rejection... and i am a little bit nervous... but i sent the application anyway...

It seems to me that our three basic needs, for food and security and love, are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think of one without the others. So it happens that when I write of hunger, I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the love of it and the hunger for it; and then the warmth and the richness and fine reality of hunger satisfied; and it is all one.