Wow! That's all I can manage at the moment. How my mind set has changed since yesterday! Partly because of a special meditation I did last night and partly because of a particularly affirming message I got this morning. Looks like another long ass post folks so hang on for the ride please.

You will recall yesterday I was kinda screwed up because I killed that coyote the night before. Well, last night I finally found some time and a quiet room to do a meditation on it. First I went out back and purified myself by smudging myself with the smoke from a bundle of white sage, fanned by a red hawk tail feather. While I was doing this, some neighborhood cat was yowling in the darkness which was kind of spooky but I'm not sure it had any bearing on me. I went back in and gathered my crystals. I have this cedar box with a sliding lid that a Cherokee woman traded to me two years ago. I keep all my crystals and other ceremonial items in this box because cedar is sacred and constantly purifies the contents.

Inside, I have a deer antler, a bundle of sage, a vial of totem spirit oil which I use to set a mood during meditation, a very large quartz crystal, a cluster of Citrine crystals in matrix which serves to boost the energy of the other crystals, a piece of Angelite, a piece of fluorite, a large chunk of honey calcite, a smaller piece of honey calcite, a selenite wand, several small pieces of rose quartz and a large feather from a red tailed hawk. In short, all I need to meditate on the fly.

I went into our computer room and shut the door. I had asked Deb to turn the TV down so I wasn't distracted but she was laughing hysterically at something so there was still a little bit of something to break my concentration. I got out the big quartz crystal, the selenite wand, the big honey calcite crystal and the smaller one and the fluorite.

The fluorite is for concentration. It really helps in that area. The calcite of course is my connector to the spirit world and the quartz and selenite serve to open up a clear path for me and energize the whole process. I turned off the lights and placed the smaller calcite piece on top of my head. I held the large piece in my hand. Since I had placed the calcite stone on the dead coyote, I knew it would be a connection. I arranged the quartz on my lap and set the selenite wand on top. I needed a clear path last night. I closed my eyes and willed my breathing to slow down to a few breaths per minute which dramatically slows my heart rate as well. It took a bit to filter out all the distractions from my normal thought patterns. But when I did, it all hit me in a rush. The calcite on my head started to vibrate and caused my whole body to vibrate in time. I was transported to a dark void where I first saw owl.

Owl seems to be running a bit contrary to me right now. I'll have to figure out what I'm doing wrong there. Instead of appearing as a calm, benevolent force as she usually does, she appeared in the vision as the hunter, swooping, flapping madly, attacking. So either she's fighting me on something or fighting something for me, I'll have to think more on that. Since she guards my left side and is my mother-teacher and guardian of innocence, I'll have to be aware of what is going on there.

Coyote appeared. First he was the same one I killed. He trotted around me in playful circles. Laughing at me. He came in from the right side of my vision which is significant. Affirming his position for me. Father-protector, walking beside me on my right. Then the little joker sat down in front of me and suddenly grew to the size of a mountain. I had to laugh because he looked so comical. Like some kind of Southwestern comic of a coyote, trying to look all imposing but coming across as silly instead. He looked down at me from on high and just started laughing at me. I took this to mean, I'd been making mountains out of molehills on a lot of fronts lately and I needed to step back and laugh at myself because I'm making myself look foolish. The coyote shrunk back to his normal size and trotted off. I was left on sort of a dessert plane when who shows up but Snake.

She was long and sleek and black with some red markings around her head. She was slithering around and flicking out her tongue. It had to be snake didn't it? The spirit of transformations. I've actually know this was coming. I've felt a push lately to acquire knowledge in the area of healing, particularly with stones but other methods as well. It's like I'm going to need it for something important soon. I've seen myself for the past couple years as a student and not ready to do any real stone healing. I've had some successes with prescribing stone treatments for people and making some talismans and things but have felt I was not living up to my potential. So maybe a time is coming where I'm going to have to put my knowledge and skills to the test. Still changes are always a bit scary, so I've not been rushing towards it by any means. But looks like I need to get ready for it. Snake is my totem above, the guardian of dreamtime and granting access to other dimensions which seems to fit right in.

Then after the meditation, the strangest thing happened. It was in that in-between time when it's like you are awaking from a dream. I started to open my eyes and I looked down at my hands. I was holding the big quartz crystal in my right hand and the large honey calcite crystal in my left with the long piece of selenite on my lap. There appeared to be a red/gold electric kind of glowing energy wrapped around my hands and the crystals. After a minute or so, it faded but left my hands and the crystals, warm and vibrating. Afterwards, I felt completely energized, as I still do now. Something special happened there.

I did a reading of my medicine cards afterwards and confirmed I am indeed in conflict with owl right now. That may have a lot to do with being blocked on writing my thesis. Owl is the key to knowledge and I've been putting it off for awhile now. Hopefully I can get to the library at Western Illinois University this weekend and remedy some of that.

I am on the path of the bear ( the power of looking inside for the truth) and I have swan working for me ( the power to act with Grace and humility). I have buffalo (the power of prayer and the gift of abundance) teaching me in the present so all is perhaps not lost.

This morning, I heard back from two very powerful medicine women whom I'm going to spend time with in NC over the Christmas holiday. I was concerned about the coyote so I wrote to them yesterday and this is what they said:

As to the coyote...Dorothy got the following as I read your message to her..."You did everything just great! Just let it go and the message will come to you. It was time for him to return to Great Spirit, and who better to help him to begin his journey across the Great Divide!! Stop each time you go the farm. When the body has returned to the Earth Mother, collect the bones. This is your gift from Coyote and the Master of Life. Continue to give thanks for this. This also was to let you know that this animal spirit will be your guide forever." Remember that you are to be gifted the bones!! Check often on this animal and if you have any fear that the animal will be dragged off by another then go back and bury the coyote so that later you can get the bones. Dorothy says that you are to have those bones, the reason for this is not clear.

From me...It was your purpose to release his spirit. The why is not our concern, only the fact that you did release him from his earthly form. As with the owl, when you recognized what the message was from him you went on, (if I remember correctly) following his message, and you have listened to him since then. Coyote will leave a message for you as well. Just remember that he is the trickster and the message may be rather strange or even funny when it does come. He also has a very serious side so that may come through with the message as well. You have been chosen to release these two spirits and have given each a wonderful way to begin his/her journey to the next world. What you did in each of these instances was perfect as to the stone and prayer. This animal itself will be your guide, not just the coyote, but THIS coyote. Keep in mind that with the way the coyote died so quickly when this life was taken in the correct manner and at the correct time. The feelings you are having and the memories it brings back of the owl are ones that continue to give the true meaning of that animal's life. It has touched you in such a way that you will continue to feel an affinity with both of these animals for it is their spirits, not just an owl or a coyote but these specific animals.

Keep that knowledge...remain at peace.

So I'll have to go back and find the coyote and bury him so some other scavenger doesn't get to him. If he's not too decomposed yet, maybe I'll take him over to the farm where I can bury him and keep an eye on him.

I'm just so high about all of this. Nothing can bring me down today. It's wonderful to be alive.