I’m all for a good story. I’ve even written a post or two on the subject of the voodoo of stories about you. But what if the stories that I tell myself are holding me back? Where once they were helpful and protected me from pain, they now are outdated and are keeping me from living a better life?

When I shut down my shop, Bally Eden, it was as if I had lost a child. So excruciatingly painful was this experience that I had to detach.

One of the coping mechanisms I used was to redefine myself. I exclaimed, “I am no longer a seller of stuff.” And that way, I was no longer in the retail business or could go resale shopping or be a shop owner. I was demoted to civilian again. And this served a purpose. I was done with that dream, like it or not. Too bad, so sad, move on.

People told me I should be an Etsy shop owner, sell online. But the pain was ouchy enough and I couldn’t go there. It just wasn’t the same. At all. The happy ending came when my change in my focus allowed me to become the writer I believed myself to be but just had not allowed myself the effort to practice and prove that I was. There was the reason for the demise of my shop.

Six years later, I’ve thought I would like to, need to, have a reason to sell my creative wares again. But there’s that pesky definition of me standing in my way. I’m not a seller of stuff, remember? And of course there’s also the sad news of Etsy’s policy change last year so now mass-produced items can be sold there. China made stuff is all over the site and Etsy shop owners are feeling the effect. As in they’re closing their shops. Heart-breaking, I know.

But I think that can’t matter to me now. I feel like I need to just open up to all the possibilities that I keep controlling right out of being possible. So that I can try Ebay and Etsy and any other art making shop that is out there now like Society6. Why the heck not? Because it smacks of effort and I am no longer a seller of things? Pish and Posh.

Sometimes we need to dispel the spells that we cast. Because it’s what we believe we can or can’t do that will move us on or keep us put where we are. Manifestation is so much easier when you have permission.

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My name is Shalagh Hogan, pronounced Shay-La. I'm the mother of a toddler, a tween, and my six year-old blog and I turned 51 this year. My hope and joy as a writer, an artist, and an uber-creative, is that by sharing my journey of self-discovery, others will gain inspiration and permission for their own journeys.

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