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New Hampshire Polling Shows Fiorina and Christie Running Neck and Place Where Neck Is Supposed To Be

Despite Governor Chris Christie’s effective attacks against Senator Marco Rubio, recent polling shows that while Rubio support has dipped, Christie’s numbers are still flagging. The latest poll taken in advance of the coming New Hampshire primary shows debate outcast Carly Fiorina and Christie running neck-and-place-where-neck-is-supposed-to-be, with each pulling in no more than 5% of the vote.

Fiorina, who was excluded from this past weekend’s debate, expressed dismay at not being able to be on stage with the other candidates to grasp a few locks of hair for her “cauldron of research”. She laughed off accusations that she may have conjured a sleeping spell on one of her opponents. “If that had happened, don’t you think that candidate wouldn’t have been able to even make it to the debate stage?”

While appearing to struggle in the Granite State, Christie is still eating Dr. Ben Carson’s lunch. Carson is polling at 3%. He still hopes to bridge the gap against his other opponents.

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