And don't you just love the irony of the lewd and prurient gutter-snipe Sun posing as a 'family' paper? No one but no-one beats the Brits when it comes to high-grade hypocrisy and moral indignation.

Well, Lady M's legions of enemies and bad-mouthers will have a field day of told-you-sos, not to mention Sir P's own children. So much for his blind eye to peg-leg's 'colourful' past.

The Book: I must admit, the book publicist in me drools to be PR hack for publishers Orion ("Caring relationships for the gentry") as Die Freuden Der Liebe makes its way up the charts and into everyone's online shopping trolley.

What I do not drool to be is peg-leg's attorneys Coyle White Devine, having to trot out nonsense such as the shoot being "for the purpose of a "lovers guide" to caring relationships and instructive sex ... not pornographic or for the purposes of gratification."

Comment: Wayne "Table Mountains" Osmond left a comment that I can't seem to OK, but for which thanks. It reads,

"We found thousands of dead seals on our beaches in Newfoundland this spring. We now suspect it was STD'S from this porn queen that killed them when she came here. :)"