Gregor laughed, surprised by the harsh crow bark of it. The sound had escaped his throat on its own. "It's really not as bad as all that. It's more uncomfortable than endangering. After this Heat passes I should be all right. My body will have a chance to adapt and I'll be fine. No permanent damage."

"That's good," Park said. "I still would have thought they could give you *something* to ease the transition, even if it was just a heat pad or a hot water bottle."

"I'm fine," Gregor said, trying to make it sound true.

For the most part he knew his biology was handling itself admirably and he was going to come through this first Heat perfectly all right. It was just unfortunate that in the meantime–with the Heat boiling the intelligence from his brain–he wanted to jump Park's bones.

At the very least he wanted to see what Magister Dylan Park hid under the layers of his clothes. He wanted to peel that thick jacket off and slide off those black gloves. He wanted to caress every bit of Park's naked skin with his tongue.

"Can you get me something to drink?" Gregor coughed into his fist before giving Park a pleading look. "I feel parched."

Park rose to his feet graceful. "I will be right back."

Gregor didn't trust himself to speak as he watched Park leave the room. The instant the door closed behind him, Gregor slumped back in his chair with a quiet groan.

He covered his face with his hands and tried to fool himself into thinking everything would be all right. It wasn't like he was helplessly lusting after someone he would never be allowed to have.

He cursed the hormones rushing through his body. They scrambled his wits and gave him a false sense that everything would be all right if he just wanted it enough. They'd even started him thinking that having sex with Park would be a good idea because everything would just magically work itself out afterward.

Gregor was beginning to understand why some called the Heat a Madness. It hadn't even started for him yet and he already felt half-crazed, his body filed with so much want that it was a wonder he could breathe.

The door opened and he sat up, forcing his spine not to sag. Park came in with a glass of red juice and a small plate of what looked like scones.

"I only asked for something to drink," Gregor teased, accepting the offering with hands he pretended weren't trembling. He thought maybe his blood sugar was low.

"You barely ate your lunch," Park said. He wandered over to the bookcase and peered at the titles, his hands clasped behind his back. "Are any of these books of interest to you?"

Gregor shrugged. "They came with the room."

"Hm." Park turned away from the books. "I'll have someone being you a catalogue to choose from. I'm a firm believer that a good book is like a good friend, and from what I see here you've been stuck with a collection of giggling ninnies."

Gregor wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond. Park may have just been talking about the books, or he might have just insulted Gregor's taste in friends. It was hard to tell because his expression had stayed as taciturn as always. He was impossible to read.

I’m loving it, too! I just found this story while I was looking for something to read over breakfast; two hours and three cups of coffee later, I’m still here, clicking onto the next chapter, dreading when I finally catch up to you, because then I have to wait! Thank you so much for writing and sharing!

I especially love the angst and suspense. I also like the struggle against force. Park is intriguing–I can sense future revealing of his layers. Gregor is romantic (mate for love), pragmatic (wear the jewels–I may need to pawn them!), and realistic (okay, old life gone, how do I make this–sometimes shocking–new life work for me?). I love the human complexity and vulnerability.

I did laugh at his straightforward “I have to pee” instead of “holy fuck, I’m think I either shit myself over this hostage trauma, or I am horribly aroused by your power.” Well, that’s realistic, though. People often do think of basic physical things after something too outrageous to process. Aaaand the whole exciting situation did bring him and Park closer! Oh dear! Heehee!

P.S. I do so adore almost all of your avatars–Kizuna, Descendants of Darkness, among other lovely BL stories! Oh! And Lily Hoshino!

I have a bunch to update, but somehow I managed to lose the first part of Chapter Eight–which has taught me to keep my ColorNote saved and updated 😦 Anyways, I have to go back and try to recreate what I had–which was absolutely brilliant by the way, or that’s how I’m going to remember it forever after–and it’s something I’ve been having a hard time doing. My train of thought at the time had involved a lot of world-building and focused on what a world would be like where the youngest pre-Plague child is ten and people are facing the possible extinction of the human race.

I’ve continued on writing from where I was, but I have to go back and fill in what I’m missing. I’m currently finishing up my Proud to Be a Vampire story submission and this Big Bang thing–both due this month D: –then ParaShift will go back to being my priority and I’ll have the time to fix everything up.

Gregor has become one of my favorite characters, mostly because he’s so contrary and tries so hard to hide his feelings while secretly wearing his heart on his sleeve. He doesn’t want to be wrapped up in silk and jewels and hidden away; he wants to live his life and have adventures, not just be some baby making machine. It’s great that Park can see right through him (and secretly likes that Gregor is selfish/jealous/vain/romantic/loving) and wants to protect him from his fears while at the same time giving him the freedom to be himself. It’s kind of too bad that everyone else keeps getting in the way.

Oh, I have a ton of BL and yaoi manga packed away. I’m a big Lily Hoshino fan and have all her books. I’ve loved her stuff ever since I read some of her Yu Yu Hakusho doujinshi years ago. She’s just got such a cute drawing style, and Alone In My King’s Harem is my favorite of hers 🙂

…tries so hard to hide his feelings while secretly wearing his heart on his sleeve.

I love the way you worded that–and that is exactly how I conceive him! Neat, eh? I know each reader forms their own interpretation of a story, based on their own experiences, their own bliss, but it’s fun to compare notes especially when the authorial intent and the reader impression converge!

Packed away?! They should be on display, my fellow BL lover! LOL. I, too, have a ton of BL. Actually, looking around my office at this very moment, I see walls and walls of BL, psychology and history textbooks, and a smattering of other manga genres and novels.

Alone in my King’s Harem is my favourite as well! I like the story about the bird boy. When he falls off the tower and his wings come out–! Breath-taking. Hoshino currently has a title being serialized in a shounen(!) magazine. Her story is Otome Yokai Zakuro. It’s beautiful, but no BL. Slash potential maybe with some soldiers….