Help, My Ears Are Bleeding

Seriously? Honestly, people? OMG. I am taking a day off for my own sanity and had to head North to grab a car for the weekend. My ears are now bleeding. It’s like these Yankees fans follow me everywhere to exact torture. This newest assault is through the dangerous weapon called sports radio.

Anyway, two things…

First…now that I’m 33 years old and generally working and rarely driving, the sports radio that was literally part of my everyday life growing up has long since vanished. So, every now and again when I get to drive around in New York, my instinct is to dial up the WFAN or ESPN Radio with the idea that I’ll not only catch up but also be a bit entertained. Instead, I’m always baffled. Only one thought permeates my brain – no matter the topic, time of year, program or host. How the hell did I ever listen to this stuff for more than five minutes?

The hosts I can tolerate. They have strong opinions, they have decent command of the English language and acquit themselves as generally intelligent sports fans for whom I’m typically impressed with their range of knowledge. The callers are unbearable. Insanely stupid. And guess who collectively decided to flood the airwaves today just in time for my once-a-quarter sports radio listening? Yup, the most painful of all.

I’ll reserve chastising all of Yankee nation. All I will say is that the garbage that was coming out of their mouths was mind-blowing. I felt dumber by the second. On the one hand, you had the overly-optimistic who were completely ignoring the fact that Lewis shut them down in game 2 and that there is no guarantee this series will go 7 (although, just to annoy me, I’m sure it will). They spoke as if tonight’s game was a mere formality. The other half is equally irrationally pessimistic. Half of the callers can’t pronounce players’ names (from both teams), reference non-existent stats and “trends” and generally proliferate complete nonsense.

Anyway, I’ve promised to ween myself off sports radio for the rest of the weekend. Tonight should be interesting. My wife is a Yankees fan and continues to question whether I’m really rooting against them. As much as I may try (if only to show my solidarity to her), my anti-Yankees sentiment runs too deep and was bred into me from an early age. I ask her if she wants answers. She questions how I could be a New Yorker. I ask her if she wants the truth. She looks me in the eye and asks if I am rooting for the Rangers…YOU’RE G-D DAMN RIGHT I AM!

About Cecilio's Scribe

Cecilio's Scribe is the founder of The Legend of Cecilio Guante and a generally pessimistic fan of the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers. A fine NYC-based gentlemen who hones his marketing skills as his primary trade by day. Husband, chef, father of a newborn and after-hours blogger by night. Proud alum of the mighty Big Red of Cornell. University. Hot sauce devotee. Staunch protester of the continued wussifcation of American sports. Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick.