Is the Long Beach Patch responsible for this bad weather? [Conspiracy Thursday]

I subscribe to the Long Beach Patch newsletter where they keep emailing me these horrid weather reports; sometimes I receive them multiple times a day. It’s as if there is nothing else going on in Long Beach, so they need bad weather to bring more hits to their website. I am starting to wonder if the LB Patch is somehow behind weather we’ve been experiencing lately. I don’t know how that’s even possible, but perhaps they have some secret deal with DARPA using weather controlling satellites or something.

The conspiracy: Is the Long Beach Patch controlling our weather to bring more hits to their website? Is bad weather the ultimate click bait? Discuss….