June 15, 2009

Bring back the warmth…

I'm not sure if my introduction into the world of science was a blessing or a curse. It has definitely changed my outlook toward everything around me and I learned to think on my own. An academically average student became a curious observer and the thirst to know more only increased as I filled myself with what appeared to be the truth. But I had a larger prize to pay for that.

The truth I sought left a small hole in my pot labeled faith and my faith in god started to leak out leaving a dark trail behind me. Before I knew it, I had an empty pot with nothing to put my faith in. I never knew being realistic could rob you off your optimism.

Now I can never leave anything to chance for I knew that no one was there to guide me in my darkest hours or bring me luck when I needed it most. I felt betrayed and lonely in the world ruled not by love, sympathy or benevolence but by forces of attraction or repulsion and other forces that I now don't care to remember.

I know I'm believing in the truth, but when I see others around me crying, sobbing and talking at the house of god as though to a person sitting beside you, who nods at your every word with compassion, sympathy and understanding, I feel that I'm losing something, something worth treasuring, something that makes me feel that my tears are not in vain.

The feeling of having someone beside, you no matter wherever you are and at all times, to show a shoulder for you to cry on and empty your sorrow, to give you comfort and strength.

To have an invisible yet loyal friend, lover, guide all the time.

Now I truly understand what god is…

It's a part of yourself that comes forward at times of loneliness and sorrow to share your grief and give you a warm hug.It cannot change water to wine or cure the blind or get to rich in a fortnight or win battles for you or comes in all fury to exterminate the evil. But it does have the magical power to make you feel yourself.

83 comments:

:)now that makes me smile...one dont need to go anywhr in search of God he resides in us..jus look within,if u do good God is in u blessing u hugging u showering happiness..if u do wrong thn thr is devil in u always taking u to the darker side of life..its upto us wat we want to be n wat we want to have..those emotions u mentioned here is wat life is all about..the scientific reason let it be thr in the books coz thy wont help u wen ur in pain n wana shed tears or wen ur happy n wana smile..its ur faith in him which will let u fight the worst possible situation..Good day :)

"It's a part of yourself that comes forward at times of loneliness and sorrow to share your grief and give you a warm hug.It cannot change water to wine or cure the blind or get to rich in a fortnight or win battles for you or comes in all fury to exterminate the evil. But it does have the magical power to make you feel yourself."

I was always a bad believer, I doubted God too often.But when I stopped judging God based on the injustice and misery in this world , something started clicking.God doesn't need our prayers, we cannot butter him..that's y prayers sometime stop working..

Well said Amal. God is word that can be endowed with many meanings. While u can choose 2 disbelieve in the God of the society , choose to believe in the God that is within you.Isnt that what all great minds of the world has urged - look within you , to find the ultimate truth.You are right Amal , You are god

Hmmmm... learning new things can mislead you and make you think in a totally different perspective which can be the right thing or wrong.. it all depends on you eventually... on what you want to believe :)

i went through a similar phase too..search of God or whatever..I was agitated by the contradictions..had heated debates about religion..I guess as time passed by i formed a theory for everything on my own..(that sounds a lil bit weird!)

I don't believe in hell and heaven, and sin and sinners..I don't believe in a God who loves one religion and will kill out all the others.

But i do believe in God. don't you think everyone comes into contat with that power at some point of their lives?? we all define god in our own way...

But it does have the magical power to make you feel yourself.

those are words of wisdom beyond your age...

I had to read this post a few times,still i haven't completley understood the whole thing. guess the subject is too deep,that we all need to read the lines,read between the lines and then read beyond the lines..

thought provoking post..you have novel ideas for blog posts-like the dream one and this..keep up the good work..

I am an atheist. But I do believe in hope, in faith and in dreams. I totally agree with you that God to me is the place/person/moment where you are truly at peace with yourself and see things as clear as never before.

To me that comes mostly with family and friends. Or even sometimes at solitary walks. That to me is God.

I would never blame science for anything though. Science does keep a leash on my dreams and hopes. But thats what keeps me grounded.

It helps me shape my dreams. They might not turn out as beautiful but at least it helps them come true.

Good post.. it made me think...i never really searched for god, bt i knw that there some power within me, that gives me strength and power during the times i feel i will fall, a power that gives me comfort whn there is none else that understnds u and u feel all alone..i never really gave a big though on that, bt i do blive, that without that power i wont b here writing this comment.. it doesnt really matter wt name i call it, as long as i knw its ther 4 me..

wow!! they say 'A non-believer is the most loneliest, who will he go to thank"God or whatever..we need to Believe..so bttere believe in oneself..no greater Truth than that:)science too will find anwers but will take another millions of centuries...:)

dear amal, at last...............MY GOD!i'm so hapy you found the truth yourself.''more things are wrought by prayer than this world ever dreams of''. my nanda always tells me,''anu,god is our best friend''.my friend loretta repeats.you talk talk to god as your friend,your parent,your guide,yoursoul,your child in whatever form you want!the best and the loyal friend! amal we are human beings first with emotions and frustrations.try to see god in a child,and in a blooming flower!keep smiling.we are answerable for our actions! i simply loved your post!amazing!A BIG GOD BLESS YOU!keep writing!you are awonderful creation of god!be proud of yourself. :) sasneham, anu

That's sooooo beautiful !!! Sometimes you realize what something truly meant to u, or is when you feel the distance growing ... God , is what we make of The concept. What we choose to believe, and what we stand by , are what it all comes down to ..

Thats a beautiful thought Amal.We as humans cannot live our lives in complete alienation, we do need something to cling on to come out of the ditch of life..something that would guard us and would be there whenever we feel lonely.God is the strength that we canb seek at any point of time in life.Ge follows us wherever we go and keeps us in his care until its time for us to leave the world and meet him in the hereafter. A good hold on our faith brings us out of any problem in life and peovides us with the strength that lasts forever:)I like the sketches that your posted on your blog.Youre doing a great job, keep up!

Nice post n its true... wat u say... I ve felt tht way too.. to believe in God is to put faith in your urself... U make things happen by focusing on wat u want...u pray to God.. its easier to believe n hope there's sumone out there who's listening.. Here's my view on the topic...http://lifewhatthehellisitallbout.blogspot.com/2009/03/prayers.html

hie.. i have recently started following your blog.. this was the first post i read.. interesting reading it made for.. i am not much of a believer myself.. if i may confess i was a self proclaimed atheist for the longest time.. only recently did i convert to agnosticism.. i think this creed balances out the known-unknown and believable-unbelievable beautifully.. the question is within you here, as is the answer.. that is what i think you are saying also.. that the first and last connection should be with one's own self.. that is where all the strength is to be drawn from, that is where the fears are to conquer, that is where love is to summon, that is where hope is, that is where faith is..lovely post..