Going Deep into the Shallow

Tag Archives: Randy Travis

C’mon, guys. I really count on you to be there for me when I miss stuff like this.

You betta redneckonize, Randy!

So, less than 2 weeks after his arrest for being naked in the road (next to his 1998 Trans Am!), it seems Randy Travis was cited again a couple of nights ago, when police responded to a call about two men fighting in a church parking lot. He was charged with misdemeanor assault. Although TMZ is reporting that Randy was “extremely intoxicated,” there was no indication on the police report that he was impaired at the time of his most recent arrest.

Um, hang on. I feel pretty certain that if you find yourself in a situation in which you are fighting your girlfriend’s estranged husband in a parking lot at 1 a.m. on a Friday, you have had at least a few drinks. In my experience, non-drinkers are just not very likely to start slugging each other in the wee hours. And further, when this is the second time in a year that you’ve been arrested for being up to no good in a church parking lot after dark, things aren’t working out for you. Add in a clothing-optional DUI and you’ve got a problem.

I need to figure out why this cat’s drinking so much! I know times are tough – recent divorce from your wife/manager of 20 years, marriage ended over cheating with the woman whose husband you tried to knock out, crashing your Trans Am while drunk and naked – but man, this dude needs to consider developing healthier habits!

Is he just determined to make his life play out like a country song? Could be, but he’s got a ways to go before he’s George Jones getting a DUI on his way to the liquor store ON A RIDING MOWER. On the other hand, maybe church parking lot fighting 2 weeks after your naked DUI is getting pretty close.

I’m gonna be honest with you: I have more questions than answers about the Randy Travis DWI arrest Tuesday night. In researching this post (i.e., combing the Internet for a few minutes) I learned that Randy Travis, ne Traywick, is a more complicated fellow than he appears at first glance.

Things We Know:

A motorist called 911 to report that he just “found a guy lying in the road.” He didn’t want to leave his car (smart!) and apparently said, “I want to say maybe he has no shirt on.” Turns out he was only half right.

The man in the road was Naked Randy Travis, a country music superstar with 17 #1 hits, and he was arrested for his second alcohol-related offense this year. In addition to refusing the field sobriety test, he threatened to “shoot and kill” the arresting officers. Way to dispel stereotypes, buddy.

Naked Randy Travis was issued “paper clothing” upon arrival at the jail house. Which means that jails have to have a supply of disposable clothing on hand at all times because of all the people who are naked when they’re arrested!

Earlier in the evening, Naked Randy Travis walked into a convenience store to purchase cigarettes. He became belligerent when the clerk asked how he was going to pay. (High five to that dude.) For a convenience store clerk, I bet the only thing better than a drunk, naked guy is a drunk, naked, belligerent guy trying to buy cigarettes.

Travis was in a single car accident in his – wait for it – 1998 Trans Am. Unknown at this time whether the Trans Am featured the iconic “Screaming Chicken” on its hood. Continue reading →