Life

Isaac Barnes' mom was esctatic when he lied during a study at Brock University. The ability to lie (he peeked at the elephant behind him when he was asked not to, then said he didn't peek), means the three-year-old is actually thinking at a higher developmental level.
CHERYL CLOCK/ST. CATHARINES STANDARD/QMI AGENCY

The temptation was just too great for three-year-old Isaac Barnes. He was alone, in a room, with a big stuffed elephant sitting on a table behind him.

He was told not to turn around and look at it. But he did.

And then he lied about it.

It was a proud moment for his mom, Kirsti van Dorsser. She was in the Social Cognitive Development Lab at Brock University, watching her little guy on a computer screen from the room next door.

She'd volunteered him for a study on children and lying. And when the researcher asked Isaac, "Did you turn around and look at the toy?" and he promptly replied (and lied), "No," his mom was overjoyed. She reacted with a fist pump in the air along with an exuberant, "yes."

Fact is, she knew something about children and brain development that most parents likely don't.

Evans has been studying children and their lying behaviours for more than seven years. Her research examines when children start telling lies, how lying behaviours change as kids get older, and what will keep them honest. Within the legal system, she's interested in methods to encourage children to tell the truth in court.

And she's looking for more young participants, between the ages of three and eight, to continue her research.

Fact is, not many two-year-olds -- only about 40% -- lie because they're not advanced enough in their development.

In fact, the more self-control kids have, the better they lie. Or, put another way, the better they "prevent themselves from telling the truth," says Evans.

Two-year-olds think everyone has the same thoughts as them. Around age three, kids start to understand that "I can trick you into believing something else."

About 60% of three-year-olds lie.

So when little Isaac told the fib, his mom was reassured: "I know he's getting smarter."

Typical of young kids, he wasn't a great liar.

When the researcher asked "What do you think the toy is," Isaac was quick to respond, "Elephant."

And when she pursued that with the question, "How do you know that?" Isaac answered, "Just because."

All in all, a pretty good answer, says Evans. Most young children, who initially lied about peeking, would have blown their cover with the response, "'Cause I looked."

Older kids are better at covering up the initial lie. They typically respond with more sophisticated explanations, like "I just guessed," "I have a toy like that at home," and one of Evans' favourites from a girl who somehow knew it was an elephant even though she supposedly didn't look, "God whispered it to me."

Children lie to protect themselves -- to prevent getting into trouble -- and to save face, says Evans.

It's a normal part of their development. Fact is, navigating the nuances of lying is difficult, she says. Parents tell kids lying is bad, but it's OK to tell little white lies.

"It's a complicated world for children to figure out," says Evans.

"They're playing around, trying to figure it out."

Telling white lies shows a higher degree of social development and the ability to show empathy. After all, who hasn't uttered the words: "Yes, gramma, I really like that sweater," says Evans.

All that will come in time for little Isaac. For now, his mom is satisfied with the lab lie.

"He was developed enough to lie, but not enough to cover his tracks," she says, laughing.

Here are some general results from Angela Evans' studies on children and lying. Percentages reflect younger children who lied about peeking at a toy behind them and older kids who lied about looking at test answers.

Age 2: 40%.

Age 3: 60% lied initially, but they're bad at keeping the lie. They know it's good to tell the truth, and bad to tell a lie.

Ages 4-8: 70-80%.

They have more sophisticated methods to sustain the lie. By age 7, kids understand the difference between a bad lie and a white lie.

Ages 9-10: 70%.

Ages 11-13: 50%. The reason for a decrease in lying might be due to a higher moral understanding, or maybe the repercussions for the initial misdeed weren't dire enough to motivate them to lie.

Ages 14-16: 30%.

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PRAISE VS. PUNISHMENT

What's a parent to do? One of Evans' studies showed children ages 4-7 lied less when they were read a story (George Washington and the Cherry Tree) about being praised for telling the truth. Lying dropped from 70% to about 40%. The moral of the story is this: if you want to discourage children from lying, praise them for telling the truth, says Evans.

* If you catch them lying, separate the misdeed from the lie -- Consequence A is for breaking the window, Consequence B is for lying about it.

* If they tell the truth, reduce the penalty and offer praise for truthfulness.

* Make them promise to tell the truth. In one study, children ages 8-16 lied less when asked to say "yes" to the statement, "Do you promise to tell the truth?" And in children 3-7, lying decreased to about 40% when they were asked to say out loud, "I promise to tell the truth."

* Harsh punishment doesn't prevent lying. A University of Toronto study found that children disciplined by corporal punishment were more likely to lie and were better at it. The study compared children at schools in West Africa.