Saturday, May 03, 2008

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell… anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment.

There was this one day during elementary school… It was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school… “your mom only has one eye?!?!”… and they taunted me. I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my mom, “mom… Why don’t you have the other eye?! If you’re only going to make me a laughingstock, why don’t you just die?!!!”

My mom did not respond… I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I’d wanted to say all this time… maybe it was because my mom hadn’t punished me, but I didn’t think that I had hurt her feelings very badly. That night… I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me.

I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful. Because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty… then I studied real hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too…

Now I’m living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom. This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when… what?! Who’s this …it was my mother… still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom’s eye. And I asked her, “who are you?!” “I don’t know you!!!” as if trying to make that real. I screamed at her,” How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter!” “GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!” and to this, my mother quietly answered, “oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared out of sight. Thank goodness… she doesn’t recognize me… I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn’t going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life. Then a wave of relief came upon me…

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So, lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house… just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand…. it was a letter to me.

My son… I think my life has been long enough now… And… I won’t visit Seoul anymore… but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much… and I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school. …for you… and I’m sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.

You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mom, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye… so I gave you mine… I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

I was never upset at you for anything you did… the couple times that you were angry with me, I thought to myself, ‘it’s because he loves me…’ my son. Oh, my son… I don’t want you to cry for me, because of my death. My son, I love you my son, I love you so much.

He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was stills puttering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so … was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fears can put in you. He said, “I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Khalifa.”

Well, all she had was a flat tyre but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Khalifa crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tyre. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from Babylon and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Khalifa just smiled as he closed her boot. She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Khalifa never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him.

This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Khalifa added, “And pray for me.”

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps.

The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The cash register was like the telephone of an out-of-work actor - it didn’t ring much. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude.

The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Khalifa.

After the lady finished her meal and the waitress went to get change for her hundred Dinar bill, the lady slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back.

The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin under which were four hundred Dinar bills. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.”

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything is going to be all right. I love you, Khalifa.”

Holy Qur’an says: “But he who gives to others more out of his own will then it is better for his own self…” [2:184]