shit that i do

Oct 31 I Still Think Most White People Need to Sit the Fuck Down and Shut the Fuck Up

One night, while I was ripping it up at home with my moon goddess; that's what I call my dog, she's black and white and adorable all over and sometimes sleeps like a crescent moon; I submitted a free request for a Kabbalistic name and birthdate analysis. I would never pay any amount of money for such a thing, but I enjoy reading about different spiritual philosophies, so I thought I might be entertained by this. At any rate, I forgot about it until I cleaned up my inbox (it had crept above the 400 unread count again, I had to do something). When I read the report, I found it mildly interesting. Mostly boring and easy to see right through. It had its moments. Ultimately, they tell you all the limitations on your identity due to being misnamed, what?, and then charge you $145 to receive a list of thirty names? Their solution is to tell you that you need a new name.

Do not dare challenge yourself to figure out your own limitations on your own as you live your life interacting with people everyday. Nope. Change your name. But it'll cost you.

A white woman, one block down, on my street, tried to give me the white nod, about a Black man, yesterday. I was walking with my youngest son to the kroger, and I saw a white woman and a Black man walking toward the street from her house (I think). They were talking, softly, maybe anxiously. As we got closer, she called to me, too calmly, that she needed me to call the police, with a phone in her hand, and she lives alone, with two cars in her drive, because she doesn't know that man. He was a Black man walking calmly from her drive now back thru her yard behind her house.

They are probably lovers having a pointless argument. On my street. I wanted to swear, but my son, especially my son, always my children, and other people I don't know. On my street. I told her she could call the cops herself with her hand holding a phone. I challenged her verbally about the two cars in her drive, and she again gave me the white, but this time, woman, nod. Like, Bitch, Follow Along. But I'm immune to that bullshit and spot it a mile away and am obliterating it from my street. It's taking way too much time. I told her, I'm walking with my son here! And she looked at me like, well, I can't argue with that. At some point, I said to her, I could stand here until the cops come if that would make you feel comfortable. And she thought about it at lightning speed and accepted.

Then, I heard the voices of an older white woman and man, on the phone, and it looked like they were talking to a younger Black man about the situation, another house down. I really wanted to walk away, to protect my son. I was super pissed off to be in this situation with him, on our street. The Black man drove away. I waited until the white asshole woman gave me the white thumbs up that I could go. Oh, we can go? Yeah, that's fine, They're on Their way (because she thinks of the cops like that), Thanks!

And, I thought, fuck you forever i hate you go away.

I don't always know who I'm writing to here. But if you are reading and you are Black or Brown and you are learning things about white people that you didn't know for sure but thought were true, I'm definitely writing to you. I've learned that our oppressors keep a shroud over their weaknesses by teaching those billions of independent, strong people who are oppressed, that they are weak and will be kept down by any means necessary. But it's just ideas. Just energy that they think is powerful, but we know is weak because they who never consider racism never know how to fight for righteousness. Most white people are weak racists. Most men are weak sexists. This is a problem.