Family Seeks Honors for Soldiers Who Committed Suicide

By

Yochi J. Dreazen

Updated Nov. 25, 2009 10:36 a.m. ET

WASHINGTON -- When 25-year-old Army specialist Chancellor Keesling killed himself in Baghdad this summer, his family was flown to Delaware's Dover Air Force Base to receive his casket. He then received a full military burial, complete with a 21-gun salute.

But Spec. Keesling's grieving family has not received a condolence letter from President Barack Obama. The White House said a longstanding policy prevents him from sending such a letter to families of troops who have committed suicide.

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Army Specialist Chancellor Keesling's casket is carried off a military plane at Delaware's Dover Air Force Base.
Courtesy of the Keesling family

The Keesling family is mounting a lobbying effort to get that policy overturned. With the military being hit by a record number of suicides, the Keeslings -- backed by a bipartisan array of lawmakers from their home state of Indiana -- argue that the rule is archaic.

"If the president wants to destigmatize mental health, and destigmatize military suicide, why does he stigmatize families like ours by pretending that our son didn't die?" said Spec. Keesling's father, Gregg Keesling. "If Chance had been struck by lightning in Baghdad or hit by a car, we would have gotten a letter. We shouldn't be treated differently because he died by suicide."

The family's efforts are running up against a longstanding institutional belief within the military that suicide is a sign of weakness and that troops who take their own lives shouldn't receive the same military honors accorded to troops who die in combat or from accidents in the war zones.

"Your heart breaks for any set of military parents who lose their child, regardless of how that child dies," said a recently-retired Army general who supports the current policy. "But if you ask me honestly, I'd tell you that a person who kills themselves doesn't deserve the same treatment as a soldier who dies fighting the enemy."

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The Keesling family mourns at their son's casket after it arrived in Indiana in June.
Courtesy of the Keesling family

Republican Rep. Dan Burton and Democratic Rep. Andre Carson of Indiana have written joint letters to the White House asking Mr. Obama to reconsider the policy. The administration has yet to formally respond to the letters, according to aides to both men.

"We've kind of been met with silence from the White House on the entire issue," said John Donnelly, a spokesman for Rep. Burton.

White House spokesman Tommy Vietor said the Obama administration had inherited the policy from the Bush administration. Mr. Vietor declined to say when a decision would be reached about whether to replace it.

"The president's thoughts and prayers are with every military family who has lost a loved one in service to our country," he said. "The administration has begun a review of the current policy that he inherited."

The issue highlights one of the thorniest challenges facing the Pentagon as it seeks solutions to the rising tide of military suicides. Army officials said last week that the military had already matched last year's grim record of 140 active-duty suicides.

Military officials have launched a broad push to bring those numbers down by removing the stigma that surrounds mental illness and prevents many troops from seeking help for fear of harming their careers or looking weak to their colleagues.

"I am trying to change what I believe is a culture of an Army which looks at these invisible wounds as something less than a broken bone or loss of an arm or a leg," Gen. Peter Chiarelli, the Army's vice chief of staff, told reporters last week.

Chance Keesling decided to enroll in the military straight out of high school after learning about Pat Tillman, a professional football star who turned down millions of dollars in National Football League contracts to join an elite Army Ranger unit. Mr. Tillman was later killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan.

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Army Specialist Chancellor Keesling in Baghdad, Iraq, just days before his suicide.
Courtesy of the Keesling family

Spec. Keesling's parents were stunned by the decision. The family's Quaker religious beliefs were pacifistic, and they struggled to understand why their son would want to join the military at a time of war.

One night, Spec. Keesling and his sister Tiana argued about his decision to enlist in the kitchen of the family home, according to Mr. Keesling. Tiana Keesling told her brother that the military was for other people, while Spec. Keesling replied that it was important for the nation to have a military, and that meant people needed to be willing to serve within its ranks.

"That was the first time I remember thinking that what he was doing made sense," Mr. Keesling said.

Spec. Keesling got married in early 2005 and deployed to Iraq later that year. Mr. Keesling said that his son's marriage soon began to crumble, leaving Spec. Keesling feeling isolated, angry and depressed.

Towards the end of the deployment, Spec. Keesling threw his wedding ring into the Tigris River, alarming some of his fellow soldiers, according to his father. The military responded by placing Spec. Keesling on suicide watch and taking away his weapons and ammunition, Mr. Keesling said.

Back in the U.S., Spec. Keesling appeared to be back on solid footing. He began a new relationship and told his family that he was in love with his girlfriend. In an Army medical form dated February 10, 2009, Spec. Keesling wrote that his overall health was "very good" and that he had not sought counseling or care for any mental health-related issues in the past year, according to military records.

Spec. Keesling deployed to Iraq again this spring, and his problems soon resurfaced. He ran into difficulties with his new girlfriend, and Mr. Keesling said his son seemed distraught at the prospect of losing her.

Compounding the difficulties, Spec. Keesling had been sent to Iraq as part of a large unit from Tennessee made up of people he barely knew. The Keesling family said their son felt like an outsider, in part because he was one of the unit's few black soldiers.

On June 18th, Spec. Keesling sent a chilling email to his parents and siblings with the subject line "I'm sorry for everything."

"I can't cope without each and every one of you there by me the whole way," he wrote. "I thought about killing myself and went to the porti john and chambered a round into my m4 but decided not to pull the trigger. I realize I need help."

Mr. Keesling said he got his son on the phone and tried to comfort him with some tough love.

"My last words to my son were 'get over this' and 'be a man,'" Mr. Keesling said, his voice catching. "I wish I'd understood better how much he was hurting. I wish I'd told him something softer."

Mr. Keesling and his son hung up the phone around 8 a.m. Baghdad time. A few minutes later, Spec. Keesling walked into a portable latrine and followed through on the scenario in his final email to his family. Soldiers found Spec. Keesling's body at 8:31 a.m. on June 19th.

In the wake of the suicide, the Pentagon flew the Keeslings to Dover to receive their son's remains. At the end of Chance Keesling's military burial, soldiers gave his mother the folded-up flag that had once draped his coffin.

Weeks after the suicide, the Keesling family received a package from the military containing their son's uniform and other personal effects. In the pocket of his sand-colored Army fatigues, they found an Army-issued suicide-prevention card.

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