Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

how pathetic is this?

It's been 5 weeks since the D&C which marks my third loss and I haven't been posting very much as I am paralyzed by depression and grief. I am glad I have someplace to come where people understand what I am going through. I turned 32 two weekends ago and was miserable thinking another year has gone by and I'm still childless. My mother bought me the most adorable Chihuhua puppy as a gift. He only weighs 2lbs and will not get too much bigger. Here's the rub...I can't put the dog down. I talk to him and hold him and swaddle him in blankets, sleep with him in the bed with me--I don't let him out of my sight. When I take him in public with me people ask to hold him and ooh and aah over him the way they would a baby. I feel so pathetic--I'm the mother of a dog. Seriously, I feel like a psycho cradling this puppy and cuddling him, but I'm realizing that this is all I may ever have...Being an aunt and friend and the mother of a dog. I feel like such a loser.

I'm so sorry for your losses.
The maternal instinct is so strong.
About a month after my miscarriage I went to a funfair with friends and won a soft toy. I realised I was holding it, sitting it on my lap like a baby. It was about the same size as the fetus I delivered. I felt piteous.
It is totally understandable to transfer such strong emotions like this. I think it would be worse if you didn't realise what you were doing. The grief will ease a little with time I think. If your puppy helps you to get through the most acute stage then I don't see what's wrong with that.
Your chances are still good to carry to term and I really hope this happens for you.

Join the club!!! I am pathetic right along with ya. I just had my third loss in June and I treat my dogs like babies. I am 37 with pretty much no hope so they are all I got. I even bought a Halloween costumes and have dressed them up. I have 11.... Yes... 11 friends who are all pregnant and so I spend a lot of time trying not to melt down and pretending to be happy over others ultrasound photos and baby shower invites. I don't think you are pathetic at all... You just have one lucky dog who is happy to have a mommy as good as you!!

I'm so sorry for your losses. Sweetie, you are not pathetic for giving a lot of TLC to your puppy. Animals can be a great sense of comfort. And I doubt that he will say something hurtful like people can.

I've had a lot of losses in the past six years--my grandparents, my Dad, an aunt, and now my precious angel baby. I was so thankful that I had my kitty to go home to. Just for him to be there with me was comforting.

An animal can definitely not replace your lost angels but they can help you through the healing process. I was 37 when I had my almost three year old daughter. Please don't give up hope. I know this is so hard. Hang in there! HUGS!!!

do not feel to bad...after ours.....Scott went out and got not one but two pets...i did the same things all of you have done...there is nothing wrong with it...i would just like to warn all of you that there is a doll out there that you should not get..it is called newborn, just born...they are life like...i have been told that they are not good for the healing process because they look so much like a baby....

give yours time to heal, be a mother to the loving pets you have...they will be there for you even when you feel like no one is there for you....hugs...to everyone

Oh yep, I'm right there with you. Except it my case...my mom got me a kitten. I wanted to be all smiles and say how cute she was, but really what I wanted to say was &quot;Oh great! Thanks! Something that I have to take care of, feed in the middle of the night, and potty train! More reminders!&quot;

I was so upset the first day, but the other ladies are right. She's good therapy, I'm excited to come home to her, and when my family does come over she's actually a good distraction and we all get all goofy about her. It really helps yourealize that life goes on too whether you like it or not.

It's soooo easy to get pessimistic and think it's not going to happen to you. I got my son's ashes tonight and I was pissed because I was having such a good day until then! I went right back into my hole. Stay strong ladies, pet your kitties and doggies, and keep trying!

After my miscarriage I threw a birthday party for my dog. I just needed something to spoil. Hey, life is hard, if having a dog makes you happy then don't be so hard on yourself. I call my dogs my little babies and give them kisses even though they are 62 pounds each. I love them and I think they have helped me heal. The best part about them is that they are fixed so they're not going to go out and get pregnant on me! :)

Also I will soon be 32, soon be an aunt, and still be childless. I didn't choose for it to be this way, neither did you. Don't make a bad situation worse by hating yourself on top of everything you've been through. I know it's not what you want, but it's also not your fault, so give yourself a little love because you deserve to be loved and be happy. I bet nobody thinks you are pathetic. I bet people think you are strong and kind and wonderful. Hugs to you and your pup!

It's absolutely ok to love those animals!! I think animals are therapeutic and they develop relationships with us that we are unable to develop with other humans. not because we don't want relationships with other humans, but because the animals have undying love and devotion for you. I tell my dog all the time that he is one of the best things to ever happen to me. He can just look at me and know when I need a &quot;hug.&quot; when i need a hug, he just comes up and lowers his head on my should and he lets me hold and hug him. He knows when I am hurtin and he is happy for me when i am happy. He sleeps between me and my husband at night.
Let yourself love those animals. You can talk to them and they won't talk back or tell you what to do...that may be one of the best parts. If you tell them you are sad and miss your baby, they don't tell you to &quot;get over it.&quot; They just sit there with their big eyes and wag their tails. Who could ask for a better listener? Enjoy your puppy and know that he is blessed to have a dog-mom like you!

well, i guess you can see that you are not pathetic. i have my little tedders (teddy) he is a 4 lb toy poodle with a little teddy bear face. he sleeps with me and we go every where we can together. we got him to help my depression and he has done more for me than my medication has. he is my second baby. my first baby is my son Jack, but he is a daddys boy. he doesn't like to spend time with me if dad is around. so that leaves me a teddy. i know you will find comfort from your new buddy. enjoy the puppy, it will bring you some relief and joy.

I agree with everyone else who has posted. You are absolutely not pathetic!! My 1yr old little girl(Roxy) took better care of my emotions than my husband did when I miscarried!! Roxy is my puppy and she's always by my side silently supporting her mommy and I can't tell you how much I appreciate her! The fact is, you are his mommy. It sounds like he is being perfectly spoiled and I'm absolutely sure your love and affection will be returned 110% percent!

On a side note - I am also 32 and worry about not being able to carry a baby to term. I have only had one miscarriage, but I understand your fears. Keep your head up:-) I am sorry for your losses!!

I can relate. After my miscarriage, I found a little blanket from Target and kept holding it, folding and unfolding it and crying into it. It was was helpful. I still carry it around with me in my purse and it has been six months since my sweet baby died.

I think our energies we planned to devote to our babies has to go somewhere and it's great that it's somewhere positive where it will be appreciated.

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