Village Voice: Scientology Sunday Funnies

That's the thing. I can imagine you NOT going to church. I can't imagine you listening to boring preaching. Each time when I hear preaching I feel like arguing with the priest [not that I get to hear preaching too often].

That's the thing. I can imagine you NOT going to church. I can't imagine you listening to boring preaching. Each time when I hear preaching I feel like arguing with the priest [not that I get to hear preaching too often].

Priests make great debaters, and in my experience there's nobody who loves a rational but slighted heated argument like a theologian who will always take the time to hear the other side out. So I like to play a game with the priests i go to mass to regularly... i pay close attention to what they say during the service. Often times, have my bible with me and chk their cites as I listen. Then on the way out, during the vestibule handshaking cya later bai farewells, I hit 'em with a comment or remark that lets 'em know I not only paid attention - i absorbed it and spun it back around.

Then i see how it long it takes the priest to let my hand go... and leave go of the urge to say "hey wait a minute, stop right there - thats a very good point - somebody actually listened to me!"

Priests make great debaters, and in my experience there's nobody who loves a rational but slighted heated argument like a theologian who will always take the time to hear the other side out. So I like to play a game with the priests i go to mass to regularly... i pay close attention to what they say during the service. Often times, have my bible with me and chk their cites as I listen. Then on the way out, during the vestibule handshaking cya later bai farewells, I hit 'em with a comment or remark that lets 'em know I not only paid attention - i absorbed it and spun it back around.

Then i see how it long it takes the priest to let my hand go... and leave go of the urge to say "hey wait a minute, stop right there - thats a very good point - somebody actually listened to me!"

I tend to make fun of their outfits [if they are catholic monks] and asking them how can they really believe that Mary was a virgin when in fact she was married. Most of the time they just offer to pray for me. With Jews it's a bit different - since I'm a member of the tribe and they are an elitist religion which doesn't let go of any Jew, they don't give up on me. They start debating various points with me, but I know the Torah well....they ain't getting anywhere with their arguments. So eventually they just say that one day God will change my mind, bla bla.

That's the thing. I can imagine you NOT going to church. I can't imagine you listening to boring preaching. Each time when I hear preaching I feel like arguing with the priest [not that I get to hear preaching too often].

You know whose bible interpretation I liked the most? Steven Fisher's. He was hilarious when he told in his affidavit how he was watching virgin Mary bath every day, and when he was masturbating in the bushes, his sperm flew right into her and hence he is the biological father of Jesus Christ. LOL

That one's been around a while, actually, nothing new. Still, what always hits me about this particular vid is the thinly veiled desperation behind all the participants. It's really sad...they're obviously being pressured beyond belief behind the scenes, and they're going for this "Hey, we're just having so much fun with this fundraising drive here!" vibe, but it just comes off as disturbingly, achingly wretched.

They should add &quot;Learn how to tell between an SP and a true Scientologist client with the 'special handshake' &quot;, &quot;Discover how to sell all your possessions to pay for your Bridge when OT9000 comes out&quot; and &quot;Find out how to stand up against Anonymous when they start spamming and harpooning the shit out of your online business with entheta&quot;.