A Long Weekend In Marbella

27/04/16

Ah man, I feel like I’ve been so disjointed from my blog this week. I haven’t had a chance just to sit down and chat to you about life, about my head, about what’s new. I’ve been typing most of my posts and editing my videos whilst on the go – which isn’t a bad thing because maaaaaan, do I get cabin fever when I’m working from home – but it means I never know when my next post will go live.

This one is no different. I’m currently drinking a green juice in a Pret off Oxford Street and praying to the health gods that it cancels out the pancakes and bacon I ate for breakfast and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can I have a semi flat stomach before I need to get in a swimsuit again? Maybe?

Big hugs and thanks in advance, boo.

Anyway, so Marbs. Dreamy, handsome, little boo Marbs.

I went last week with Ellie, which you’ll know if you a) you didn’t delete me on Instagram because holiday spam literally makes my eyes want to roll out of my head and just hang out on the floor or b) you read this post about my pre-press trip anxiety.

We met at Gatwick airport with accidental matching Stan Smith trainers and orange-red bags and drowned in free Nando’s refills and chicken because y’know, living the dream and that.

And then we flew down to Malaga with Monarch to the land of palm trees and blue sky and beaches and WARMTH (which feels so alien to me right now what with hail stones and snow and WHY IS IT FOUR DEGREES AND WHY CAN’T I DRINK CIDER IN MY GARDEN) to stay at the Amare Marbella hotel for their season opening party.

And we spent that first evening drinking red wine and eating lasagne and salad from the buffet (I mean, I was, Ellie was chowing down on some gluten-free bread rolls) and spilling our souls to each other.

Y’know how it is when you’ve got a glass of wine in your hand and you’re a casual 1,000 miles from reality.

We were given the dreamiest room overlooking the beach, so that was a pretty sexy view to wake up to. Made a *bit* of a change from the skip and 6756 cars I can see from my bedroom window at home.

We spent our first morning going heavy at the breakfast buffet (I think I’d win in a waffle eating competition, in case anyone was wondering), drinking coffee and swinging about in hanging chairs stationed about the pool. Promise my mental age IS older than about 12.

Then we tested out the spa and had massages, giving ourselves a mini digital detox because the rest of the trip was so phone and camera heavy – luv ya vlogging and Snapchat and Instagram and Twitter and oh balls, better get some blog photos too and oh man can you take an outfit photo and what hashtag do I use and omg SO. MANY. EMAILS. You get the idea.

Anyway, I had the Aromas Of Andalusia Massage which was basically like your classic full-body massage but with hot oil straight from a candle rubbed into you. It was all kinds of sexiness and divineness. I’d like one right now tbh. Maybe I should dedicate some time to training Chris up because I do have the most amazing OSKIA massage candle at home. That’s tonight sorted then.

The rest of the afternoon was dedicated to exploring the private hotel beach, drinking frozen cocktails and wandering around the nearby roads in search of a gelato bar. (I found one and had Kinder Bueno ice cream but it melted all down my hand before I could find an Instagram-worthy background and then had to wash my sticky hands in the sea like a child. No regrets).

After, ahem, showering off all the ice cream and applying fake lashes like a pro (all about the ready-glued ones), we headed down for the season launch party. I even wore a maxi dress and I never wear maxi dresses because y’know I’m pretty bloomin’ short. (Although this ASOS one is from last year and is now long gone in case anyone was wondering).

I’d describe the launch party as a bit like the best wedding you’ve ever been to but without anyone you know. It started off with a tour of the hotel and a little drink of summin summin on the rooftop bar during sun set, before we all sauntered onto the beach for the buffet. Ellie and I basically had buckets full of different cheeses from the cheese table and I’m OK with that. And then I realised there was another table dedicated to oysters and I kinda lost my shit pretending I was a fancy bitch with my Tabasco and lemon.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur of sushi, prosecco, a man playing a saxophone on a light-up Segway and a catwalk show from local models with bums so perfect there’s no way they can go heavy on the cheese buffet table. Maybe I gotta learn to stay away.

And then we crawled into bed just after midnight in our matching pyjamas and tried to work out how much sunbathing time we could factor in before our flight home the next day.

Which we spent eating, ahem, more waffles and lazing by the pool. We also explored Old Town which was the most Instagram-heavenly place, something I didn’t expect from Marbella at all.

There was a little park with a carousel and fountains and big ol’ plants that made it feel a *bit* like a jungle that I kinda fell in love with a bit. Aside from the moment where a family started taking professional family shots right behind me in the middle of an outfit shoot. Lol. You guys. The kids had matching sailor outfits on and everything.

Most people, myself included, have this idea of Marbella being like an episode of TOWIE. Like OMG DO I HAVE ENOUGH FAKE TAN ON AND DO I HAVE TO WEAR MAKE-UP BY THE POOL AND SHOULD I BUY WEDGES, but the part of Marbella I saw was the opposite.

Just so chilled out and elegant and easy-going and the perfect pop of respite from UK rain and chilly spring and busy working days.

The hotel itself was a right little haven. We had the biggest bed and Ellie and I could both starfish throughout the night without accidentally sticking a foot in someone’s rib cage. We also had a coffee machine and a turn down service that made me feel a bit like a posh lady that maybe had a butler at home she needed to buy a Marbella magnet and postcard for.

Man I hope that made sense.

And every time we opened our curtains we were like um, is this Miami or is this Marbella? Those palm trees and that blue sky, jus kinda felt like I was fist pumping myself inside. Just staring at them instantly took away any of the little fears and nags and anxiety sitting inside me.

But it was the perfect little few days away – so close that we didn’t feel exhausted by the traveling, but far away enough that we got to actually apply sun cream and strut about in our new swimming cossies without fear of losing a few toes to April frost bite.

But mostly, I got to eat gelato and I am ALL about that gelato life. And why the flip’s sake can’t Ipswich up its gelato game so I can feel this at peace with the world all the dang time?

ANYWAY, HAVE YOU BEEN TO MARBS AND DID YOU LOVE IT?

Monarch, the scheduled leisure airline, operates flights to Malaga from Birmingham, London Gatwick, London Luton, Leeds Bradford and Manchester airports with fares, including taxes, starting from £49 one way (£80 return)