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Street Talk Newsletter

Fresh Perspective on Stress Management

One thing I have learned as a counselor, and in my own life, is this: Stress management is more than a checklist of “shoulds.” Lists can be helpful, but I have seen many individuals check off their stress management “lists” (eat well, get enough sleep, avoid alcohol/tobacco, meditate, do yoga, exercise, get a massage, play golf, etc.) and still be miserable and completely stressed out. What is missing is a big picture perspective, and this shift in perspective about managing stress can completely shift your quality of life.

Stress management is ultimately about balancing your energy.

Sounds a little too simplistic, right? The concept is simple, but making the shifts to balance your energy can be a bit more challenging. Bear with me for a minute, as I explain a little bit more.

Think about a professional athlete. I’ve heard that serious athletes ultimately view their time in three ways: they are either practicing, playing their sport, or recovering (resting, hydrating, icing, eating, sleeping…not exhaling any unneeded energy). Athletes balance the inhale and exhale of energy to avoid injury and maximize their physical performance.

Take another example – breathing - of how balance impacts our health. In the process of breathing in and breathing out (LITERALLY inhaling and exhaling), our body naturally balances the levels of oxygen and carbon dioxide. When this is out of balance, such as with asthma, COPD or bronchitis, we get out of balance, and our body becomes distressed.

Stress management, if viewed as a balance of inhaling and exhaling your energy, empowers you to create joy and happiness in your life, even with a stressful career, such as law enforcement.

One more example of how balancing our energy creates health is with caloric intake. Food is literally energy that we take in (or energy we “inhale”, if we are hungry, pun intended). We burn calories (exhale energy), through normal physical processes our body goes through, such as thinking, digestion, cellular respiration, breathing, immune system, physical activity, the list goes on and on. When this pattern is drastically out of balance, it can lead to an imbalance in our physical health, significant weight loss or gain, a suppressed immune system, and the list goes on.

So the question becomes, Why don’t we think about stress in the same way?

Without getting too technical, we are learning in various scientific studies that our thoughts and feelings create a chemical reaction in the brain and trigger a flood of chemicals throughout the entire body. This means that the cells in our bodies are impacted by our thoughts, feelings and situations we experience. Chronic stress can negatively impact our physical, mental and emotional well-being, which in turn affects our quality of life, work performance and relationships.

When we balance our stress, we actively take responsibility for our well-being.

It’s no secret that a career in law enforcement is stressful. I hear many in law enforcement assume that because their job is stressful, they are resigned to a stressful life. With balancing your energy, this does not have to be your reality.

Let’s talk about another form of energy for a minute: money. Ultimately, money is a form of energy we acquire in exchange for work. We make (inhale) and spend (exhale) money. People who are financially well off still have a lot of expenses (the energy they exhale); but to maintain their wealth, they actively balance their exhale of energy with the money they have coming in (inhaling energy).

As law enforcement, you most likely exhale a lot of energy, which means that in order to manage your stress, you have to balance the exhale of energy with inhaling energy as well. This is where a helpful list of stress management techniques can come into play. Increasing the amount of healthy and helpful self-care activities may help you achieve better balance in your life.

So how do you start balancing your stress?

Start with tuning into how you feel physically, emotionally and mentally. Do you feel your life is balanced? If not, you can take a look at the list of activities and aspects of your life in which you inhale and exhale energy.

For example, for the most part in my life, I feel energized, happy and motivated, and even when I am in stressful situations, I feel I can handle them pretty well. If I start to notice that I am particularly tired, grumpy or irritable, or I notice that my thoughts are more negative than usual, it is a sign for me to review whether my energy is balanced, and if I am exhaling more energy than I am taking in.

Becoming mindful of your energy empowers you to cultivate health and wellbeing.

And the coolest part about this? When we balance our energy, we ultimately increase the amount of energy we have over time. The more we take care of ourselves, the more energy we have!

Let’s return to the example of money. If we continue to make more money (inhaled energy) than we spend (exhaled energy), we acquire more money overall (more cumulative energy)!

Still feeling a bit lost or unsure of how to balance your stress?

Just as a good accountant or financial coach helps someone balance financial energy, or a dietitian or physical trainer helps someone balance physical energy and health, seeking help from a counselor can help guide you back to balance with your stress. Over time, you learn the skills you need to balance yourself, so you’ll find that you don’t necessarily need a financial coach, dietitian, physical trainer or counselor forever.

Sarah Buehner holds a Masters in Social Work and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She is the wife of a police officer, who is also a former military police officer. Sarah provides counseling to individuals, couples, and families at her private practice, Awakened Life Counseling, LLC. One of Sarah's specializations is working with Law Enforcement Officers and their families.