The New Parents

APs do strange things. For example… John was adopted as a toddler (damn cute toddler!) and came home from Korea the day before Christmas Eve (I think). His parents decided not to tell the family they were adopting and just brought him over (decked out in a sailor suit) to their parents' house where the entire family was gathered for Christmas Eve. Everyone was like "who's the asian sailor dude?"

I'd think, if you are adopting a child of another race – you may want to tell the family first. I mean, what if they react like my dad's mom did and say, "OH MY GAWDDD! What is the matter with you?! Why would you do this to me???" Then maybe you could spare your child from having this experience. Lucky for John… his family was game.

APs also love to take pictures of their new kid having all the amazing experiences that they would have never have gotten back in the "old country." For example, when my parents got me… they took lots of random pictures of me surrounded by a mad amount of toys. It is weird and my sister has no such pictures. And many new APs seem to go on vacation right away too. Like "see how cool your NEW family is?" There is a lot of effort that goes into becoming a new family, I guess.

What I guess I am getting at is… the transition from orphan to new family is pretty tricky. I would imagine that most kids, especially ones adopted as toddlers or young kids, go through some major grief periods and are probably wondering why these people (often times who look nothing like the people they are used to being with, smell nothing like them, talk nothing like them, etc.) are so damn happy?! So while most APs are thinking "this is so exciting! I've never been happier!" their kid is thinking "this sucks! never been more bummed!" And both are pretty oblivious to each others' emotions until they eventually meet somewhere in the middle (or so you hope!)!

Like this:

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ok…so in the second picture, the one where i’m sporting the HOT HOT orange checkered swim trunks, why does my head look like an egg on its side?

transition still continues, even 20 years later…and i think we’re still trying to meet somewhere in the middle…although we might not be there yet, it’s a relief to know that we’re at least moving a little bit closer to it.

I have all kinds of photos of Baby Orphan-No-More Me in the Land of Plenty, too. It’s like my parents had to document photographic proof that I was loved, damnit. Plus there are also a bunch of pictures of me sitting there, and my older Korean adoptee sister being forced to sit next to me and look as though she liked me, which was a total lie.

oh my….John is a cutie…esp. with the hot orange swim trunks! poor guy, put in a sailor suit…..the horror and the emotional scarring must have taken years to recover from.
Yes, the wonderful world of instant “normal” family as displayed in numerous photos with matching outfits and big smiles. I was 4 when I came over and my a-parents ignored my attempts to keep my Korean name, speak Korean, or encourage any Korean culture….I do have lots of photos of me in regal 70’s attire though…….a fair trade, don’t you think?

Seriously, that transition happens to infants as well as toddlers and older kids. I think I’ve commented on this before here, but I see it in P’s first pictures. He looks worried in all of them, stunned even. It took months for him to lose that look.