I'm just going to relay a little experience based on a recent evening workout.

I am at my training pool, which is also a shared public pool.

I am training. Some young girls (let's say 15-17 y/o) jump in the lane beside me, and goof around. I ignore them, 'cause I am training.

After the workout, I jump in the hot tub/swirl pool, to loosen up. The same girls plunk themselves right beside me in the hot tub. I pretty much ignore them.

I walk over to the steam room, and go in there.

Less than 2 minutes later, there they are again, coming into the steam sauna. Same thing, sitting down right beside me.Every time I look over one of them is looking at me.

Okay, so yes it's flattering. I train hard and work hard in the gym BUT I'm actually interested in attracting a woman, not a kid.

Nice fantasy, I suppose, but I'm not into giving lessons anymore PLUS I'd rather have a mature conversation with a sophisticated female.

Which brings me to the title of the post. I am easily old enough to be these girls' father, so besides pure physical attraction, can anyone offer some insight as what the psychology of this attraction is?

Maybe at one point in time, one of you was attracted to an older man. What was it that attracted you?

Younger women like older men because older men have learned to treat women with respect.

I also think in the case you just mentioned that because you were ignoring them when they found you attractive, that made them try harder to get your attention. You didn't just start drooling over them like a guy their age would have done.

I love older men cause everyone my age always have the same stories - parties, girls, and booze. No thank you. I want someone who knows what they want in life. I don't really care if they have it all together, just as long as they have a goal for themselves. And those men always seem to be older.

But I am drawn to any guy with a good looking body, young or old! I mean who wouldn't?

I have a heavy attraction to older men. Someone else touched on it ... Men my age (late 20s) seems to still want to party, drink and hook up; I, meanwhile, want a man who knows what it means to live, not just make a living. Someone who knows what he wants, and isn't afraid of commitment.

Sex is the bonus after. More knowledge, more finesse, and NOT afraid of foreplay. Plus, older guys tend not to be freaked out about the fact that I have a child already.

Plus, a guy with silver wings is dead sexy.A few of my Recommended Reads:(Simply click on any of the images to read my stories!)

I honestly don't believe you're going to run into your type of woman at a pool/gym. When you're young that is the place to go for fit, active guys. When you're older - that's exactly where you don't want to go. . . or can't (if you have kids, etc).

So - you just need to look in other places OR seek out a different venue along the same lines.

I can only speak for myself, but I certainly am. There is nothing more attractive than a mature older man. Especially if he's fit. Guys my age (I'm 21) are often childish. They think too much with their dicks and not enough with their brains. And y'know, I get it to an extent. I've been in a perpetual state of horniness since I was a teenager and so I tend to think about and crave sex *a lot*, but it's seems like that's all some guys want and think and care about. Which isn't really ideal when you want to actually be in a relationship, or want to be seen as more than just a warm body.

Older men just seem to know what they're doing and what they want. Well, more than men in their early twenties, anyway. Moreover, they look like they know how to take their time and really please a woman. I just never get that impression from guys my own age, which probably isn't fair since I'm sure there are guys that totally would.

And, of course, the fact that they're so, well, dashing. Young men generally don't pull off dashing well. At least in my experience. And dashing is really, really hot.

Anyway, that's my take on it. Older men can be really sexy, but I'm also attracted to guys my own age. It's not a deal breaker for me.

I AM sorry that you had to experience that, though. I've been pursued by men I weren't interested in, so I know how bothersome (not to mention uncomfortable) that is to deal with.

I don't think he was trying to pick anyone up at the pool... nor do I think that was his question. ;)

As for the question in general; I think many times younger girls are attracted to older guys (more so when they are teens) because they are safe. It is easy to flirt and excite a man that they perceive to be safe and not have to worry about. Like teasing a tiger in cage. I think this is more about the tease and excitement of the tease than actually be interested in any follow-through. I have seen this MANY times in social situations as well as even online.

There is also the "attaining what someone else has" aspect as well. Some women/men are attracted to people they know are in relationships with another, or even married. The thrill of the chase and of obtaining the person is what gets them... but know that normally once that is done, so are you. They got their thrill and it is about the chase and obtaining, once it is done they have to do the process again.

THEN there are those who tend to choose attached or married people because they consider them safe (similar to what I posted in my first thought). The married person will not (normally) become too attached that they smother you, or have to be with you all the time, etc. because they have another life to attend to. This is not the case in all situations, but I have heard people who almost exclusively date/fuck married people express that as their reason. Low maintenance, high excitement, but no long term commitments.

And of course general and simple attraction to the person, or older partner is there as well. Sometimes people are just attracted to what they are attracted to. Or they are attracted to the perception of that older person. Because frankly people of all ages can be good and attentive lovers, or BAD. Just like with age a person does not necessarily become smarter and wiser... plenty of older idiots out there who are selfish, childish, stupid, etc. So any younger guys reading this thread don't need to get offended of feel slighted. The same as when gals say younger guys just last longer or have more stamina in bed... well... some do, but not all. And those things are NOT limited to being young. ;) But the PERCEPTION often makes the difference for the person having sex or wanting it. A great deal of sex (most actually) hinges on the mental aspects. It is why you can do the same thing in bed several times (with the same person) and have different outcomes or results.

Of course these are generalities, but go to show that there are many reasons why anyone would show interest in an older man/woman. So to know what THOSE teen gals were doing and why would really be a shot in the dark. It could be one or several things. And I also believe that what a TEEN girl does and what a young ADULT girl (early 20's) does are often done by different motivations given the perceived end outcome (hit on that in the "safe" comments). When you don't SERIOUSLY believe anything will happen, people tend to be a LOT more bold, flirtatious, and even outright sexual.

There are a lot of reasons. Sexual chemistry is very personal so it is not helpful to give a list of things. Every guy is different. Some guys just make you horny, period. Some of my best playmates have been in their thirties and forties, even one or two in their fifties, but in very good shape mind you.

I've been attracted to older men ever since I could remember. I fell in love with a country singer when I heard him on the radio when I was 5. I was always drawn towards my male teachers all throughout my school years, and even started flirting with my teachers when I was in high school. I flirted with the football coaches, the basketball coaches, the swimming coach and even the principal.

There's several different reasons, the way they carry themselves, the way they talk and treat women. They have a sense of security, authority, self control, self awareness, not to mention that many older men are more experienced and know how to please woman. They don't try to rush through introductions or foreplay. (Who would want to rush foreplay?)

For some girls/younger women it's about money, for others it's about looks, for others it's personality, and some just have father issues, always feeling the need to impress older men for approval to make up for not being able to make their father proud or get their father's approval or being attracted to their father and filling that void by trying to get with other older men because she can't be with her father that way. Or it could be the way older men have treated them in the past that made them feel special, and guys her age haven't made her feel special.

As for your situation, maybe they were trying to get a look at your bulge? Most male swimmers have great bulges. Girls that age are very curious, especially virgins. And with hormones going crazy, the curiosity rises and they'll do just about anything to get a peek at "the forbidden fruit".

Hubby's ten years older than I am, and it was really simple. He was intelligent, well-read, and incredibly well mannered. Most guys my age at the time were jerks. He was a man's man, and the first time he lifted me in his arms a la Scarlett O'Hara and kissed me? Damn, I was hooked."A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx

Long answer? I know this is speaking in general terms, but it's just my two cents. Older guys are more stable. They've got their shit sorted out, have a good job, and are more emotionally secure than guys my age (I'm 20.) I tend to date older men based on intelligence as well. No, I'm not sure that's the right word. Experience? I don't know. They're older and wiser, and they've got a broader perspective on life. My Primary partner is roughly twice my age, and I love being around him because I learn something every time we have a conversation. It's not the "usual" topics I have with my Lover, who is a bit closer to my age- namely girls, parties, and booze, as another poster so aptly put it.

Joined: 5/18/2012Posts: 10,717Location: Hopefully soon to be, United States

Why girls like older men? that's simple, they can learn from them and they are men and they are not boys. They feel that they have more knowledge about certain things that they can't get from the boys that they meet. Older man, have been around and know how to treat a woman with respect and with dignity too.

There are several points to be made here.. First, you said these girls were 15-17.. At that age, its about the game... You are a hot guy working out.. They don't care how old you are, they want to oggle you and hope you notice them.. Which is precisely what you did, you noticed. By moving on and ignoring them, you continued the game.

As for why women in general prefer older men... Despite popular opinion, it is not about money. For me, I want a man who knows how to please a woman, how to touch, how to kiss, how to make love and yes, how to fuck. And I don't want to teach you how to do it. Older men (and there are MANY EXCEPTIONS) tend to be more attentive lovers. I am not saying an younger man can't be, but in my experience, younger men are more about getting their own rocks off. Also, Older Men don't play as many games. It is much simpler. "I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships." — Gilda Radner

Lots of factors involved OP. You're slightly older but fit, that's a major one. Young girls that age are flirty for tons of reasons including the "guys their own age are often jerky" and "it's a kick for them to attract the attention of any good looking man, whatever age". They'll giggle about it together, dare each other, it's just how they are.

I agree with whomever says :Go elsewhere to attract older women you're seeking". While the pool gym can be fine, so can a bookstore (literate women!), an art museum or gallery (Artsy women with cultured tastes!), healthy or gourmet food store (fit women!), restaurants which feature brunch (classy women with time on their hands!), weekend harbor cruises (nautical women who like the salty spray!). There are simply scads of places to met older women (and I'm not talking grannies, though some can be just as sassy and less complex than the younger ones).

When I was first invited to make a porn movie I was reluctant because I imagined the guys would be my own age or slightly older. I was 18 and had found that guys my own age and younger proved to be so damn immature. And the biggest thing they had was ego. But all my "on camera" partners turned out to be at least twice my own age, many of them into their late 40s and early 50s. They had lost none of the stamina that I assumed they had always had. They knew how to fuck properly without premature ejaculation. That is one of the main reasons I starred with so many men on camera and why I eventually married a man who was considerably older than me (and older than my father).

Joined: 11/25/2012Posts: 503Location: Middle of Nowhere, United States

I don't really know what I could say that hasn't already been said on this thread, but personally speaking, from a girl who's 21, older guys have always been my thing. I've never found myself attracted to someone younger than I am, and rarely do I find myself attracted to guys around my own age.

I'm very mature for my age (or so I'm told by everyone else), so I think that has a lot to do with it for me. I like men who are intelligent and mature, too, so I often find myself drawn to older guys. And, like everyone else has said, the stability is nice. I enjoy going out and having fun just as much as the next person, but I'm not looking for a party-hard frat boy who can't get his shit together. Someone who knows what they want out of life and has goals that they're actively working to achieve is attractive to me. I find most older guys to be on the same level as me, emotionally and intellectually speaking, as well as maturity-wise. Physically, I like not having to teach a guy how to make me happy during sex. It's been my experience that older guys know what to do and I don't have to teach them every step of the process. [And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.]

It seems most of the gals replying are in early 20's; so what is older? 5-10 years? more? I find myself a widower, having only been my soul mate lover for 23 years. Now she is gone. At 61, and single, it's kind of crazy even trying dating. Hard to meet people. I'll say one thing, I do like youth; I'm still learning everyday. Still have lots to teach. I'm not speaking physically, well, because that hasn't happened, but in general.

It seems most of the gals replying are in early 20's; so what is older? 5-10 years? more? I find myself a widower, having only been my soul mate lover for 23 years. Now she is gone. At 61, and single, it's kind of crazy even trying dating. Hard to meet people. I'll say one thing, I do like youth; I'm still learning everyday. Still have lots to teach. I'm not speaking physically, well, because that hasn't happened, but in general.

Try going to local events frequently. Fairs, ethnic festivals, annual produce events (Strawberry festival), museum exhibits, gallery openings, new places opening in town, etc. Have a fun, upbeat participatory and friendly attitude, dress and be groomed well. Smile a lot but don't stare and oogle the women. Be flirty but not creepy. "If you build it, they will come."

Try going to local events frequently. Fairs, ethnic festivals, annual produce events (Strawberry festival), museum exhibits, gallery openings, new places opening in town, etc. Have a fun, upbeat participatory and friendly attitude, dress and be groomed well. Smile a lot but don't stare and oogle the women. Be flirty but not creepy. "If you build it, they will come."

Thank you, Mr. Dark; All good advice. I do need to be a bit less of a hermit, and now that it finally nice Spring weather her in the Pacific NW, I'll try to get out and around people more.

I don't care how old a man is, as long as he's legal. If I fancy them, I fancy them. I have extremely negative experiences with certain age groups (of all ages), but I don't rule out one age group because of it. People are just people to me, whatever their details.

The slight majority of men that I've fancied (been attracted to) have been much older than me (in the region of eight to fourteen years older). What qualities have they possessed? They were kind, considerate, patient, dependable, gently challenging, encouraging, and very funny. I don't have much to measure them against, but if those qualities appear in somebody younger, then I would still find them attractive in the right circumstances, and so be it.

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