The Dreams That Dream Me

from the land of dreams in the misty island. Or, alternatively, from the flat above a shop on the Kentish Town Road, amidst the shouts of the midnight drunks and the police sirens.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

time shift

As usual, this was only the end of the dream, one long, complicated dream full of things that inevitably got washed away by the waking world as soon as my eyes opened in the darkness. This last bit remained, though, powerful and intriguing. I felt it should have been scary but it wasn't really, maybe because the protagonist is someone close to me. There were other people in the room but they didn't count. There was Ili, my cousin, standing in front of me, smiling and sort of flirting. There was also Ili, my cousin, sitting on a couch, looking disapprovingly.

I couldn't quite understand what was in front of me, so I asked Ili (standing) what was going on, how could there be two of them at the same time there. 'We're on different times, I'm on a time-shift in relation to her'. My head was swimming, trying to comprehend what she was telling me.. and failing. 'What do you mean, you can be here twice now because for you 'now' is two different time points? Something like that?' 'Something like that', she said. 'B-but... this means there could be a million of you. And which one is the real one?' 'We both are. I suppose I could say that, because I'm a later one, I'm more real..' 'Rubbish' said the other Ili 'I must be of a later time-frame, given that I can remember this happening'. 'No you can't. Or, I-you can't, since I can remember this from your view-point, therefore I'm a later one'.

They sat down close to each other but not touching -I noticed that. Ili previously-standing smiled at me, her leg touching my shin, smiling in a sort of flirty way which for some reason alarmed me. Something was wrong. This was not Ili. But then, if not, Who -or what -was she?

'I can't have this, this is dangerous. I'll have to make you wake up' she said. And wake up I did, trying to cling onto the remains of the dream, while the other Ili looked at me imploringly -and I felt kind of pity to leave her alone, even though, as her face dissolved in the mist of disappearing dream, now I knew she wasn't the real Ili either.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

the train south-west

dreaming of travelling, again. I take a train (it is nearly always a train, on some occasions a bus, never seem to drive there)to some distant place, south and west and hundreds of miles away. a couple of times it has happened that I've mislaid my guitar and I spend the rest of the dream trying to retrieve it. Not his time, though; I don't get lost either. Or forget where I was supposed to go or who I was supposed to meet. i don't have to meet anybody. I'm on my own, which is both good and bad, i need to shed my luggage so I can explore this place.

sometimes dreams have a kind of multi-dimensional texture to them. They seem to extend and overlap with other dreams and perhaps other states of consciousness, other inner worlds in ways that seem both disturbing and impossible to recall when we wake up. Now I'm walking down the street in this town far down to the south and east, with no memory of having found my hotel or dumped my luggage. Indeed, I had no idea where that hotel was, now. the intervening chunk of time and memory was full with a confusing impression of having been on a vessel, a kind of boat being swept down an enclosed canal with red walls all around and dark turbulent waters like a rapid. i can see similar figures in the distance -then I realise that I'm seeing myself through a kind of mirror, a kink in space-time, I'd say, if that weren't such a tedious cliche. but all this belongs to the murkier part of the dream, there is another part which is, if still full of danger unseen and bothersome trouble, still even so more luminous.

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