Friday, March 16, 2007

So another couple that I am good friends with told Adonis and I over the weekend that they are preggers. Over omelettes and OJ, I squealed a Congrats and hearty hug. I was so happy for them and tried to be discrete in my sneaky peaks at her flat stomach. A LIFE is growing in there, somewhere. God, she's so small. Will anything grow in that kidney bean of a uterus?

Yesterday, I got a piece of mail, heavier than normal. Wedding invitation? Nope. Wedding showing? Nope - worse. I detest showers. I knew it would be of the pastel and cooing kind when I read the registry options. Brides normally don't register at Babys R Us and Gymboree, only expectant folks ask others to help pay for strollers and bottle kits. A baby shower for Adonis' cousin. My God, it never ends.

In natural Ecdysis style, I got my haircut today. Paige, with her airy laugh and questions about Adonis, kept smacking my head forward so she could get my angles at just the right tilt. She then reveals, "I'm expecting in September." What the hell is going on? Congrats, Paige.

Mhm.

I look at my round belly and I start moving my hand over it in light circles, trying to imagine what it would be like to contribute to the world via progeny. I decided to think about it later.

I met up with a close Filipina friend who says, "Guess what?"Let me guess, you're pregnant."WITH TWINS!"

I rubbed my belly again...mhmmm.

Am I ready to mother? Parenting ages. Parenting causes more stress. Parenting is wonderful, "There's just nothing like it," I've heard. I'll get big hips and wrinkles. Adonis will become an Adonisaur. I'll rant on a PTO board and dress my kids in yellow and lime green. Am I ready for that?

I can't help but notice the Mommy thing going on today. I can't help but notice their eyes twinkling, their skin glowing, and their overwhelming excitement. I also can't help notice that despite all that I just wrote and my deep anxiety, I find a deep curiosity about motherhood growing larger.

Talk to Lea... today we discussed the deep body soul inner urging that we have both felt of late to bring life into the world.

syngamy...the word refers to the moment of union of sperm and egg. The sound of the word just makes me want to experience it. Literally today after learning about the fetal circulatory system, I turned to my friend Rachel and told her that I want to have babies. By the way... you will be a fabulous mother.

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