2013-1: Back to Life

The 9000 pound rhinoceros in the chatroom:
Let’s just deal with this before we go on.

A-man rode this. That legal weeding MFer, splittered up as far he could go, then boot packed the rest. When he got to the top, he rode a snowboard back down. Holy shit, right? He’s just like, “Swot I do.”

Let me tell you this: A-man is legend in my house. LEGEND. You thought his split adventures and rope skipping were the end of it. Nope. Dude destroyed the Supernatural event with double-helichopters. He comes back next season, kills us with a quarter-helichopter, and somehow it’s progress. Then, he gets back on the splitter and does this.

In my mother’s house they just hung a portrait of A-man over the dining room table. Full fucking aureola. But then again, they were never very good cafflicks.

What else is news?
All the news that is news revolves around little sleep, fewer showers and a lot of standing in the snow. The office was shuttered between the winter solstice and New Year’s Day, so I spent as much time as possible riding on snowboards. It was fun. Early on I felt old, then I felt young and spry, then after like 5 days in row, my body felt old again. But that could be because I chose not to bother with things like sleep or healthy living.

There is also the issue of this thing:

Man, I’ve been riding on snowboards for a couple of decades now. And I’ve been suckered into some real-deal snake oils. Leashes, low backs, chain wallets (time is still gonna tell on this one) and Forum Snowboards, just to name a few. So when saw this NXTZ gear come up, I was thinking, “Well that’s cute.”

But I wanted to support it. American made products, good styles and fuck it, Dale is behind it. I was 75% on board. Then, Yobeat did one up with those fucking cats and I was sold.

Broder, I don’t even like cats, but that was just too good. Here’s another thing: Brooke made me pay for that shit, so I wasn’t even about to be Swayboardered. But you know, backing Yobeat, backing NXTZ, backing Dale’s vision for the brand, I can only dream of all my purchases being so considered.

This thing is ridiculously warm. It’s to the point now that I don’t want to ride without it. I guess I never really noticed how much cold air was blowing through my neck hole, but I do now when I’m necktubeless.

Plus, it’s enabled me to run a lot less gear and stay warm. Often this year, I’ve been out in vests and light coats with the necktube. And that’s not like running vests and light coats in Tahoe or Mammoth, shit is cold here. This is Wisconsin. We ride trash heaps and fake snow.

J-Pop America Fun Time NowAfter I was old and all snowboarded out, I made the trip to Chicago to spend New Years Eve with C-blast, Metal Joe, and Xine.

Xine was recently run down by a car, but she was still able to hobble around with us. Anyway for as long as I have known Xine, she has been talking about the Xine family New Years party and how I really need to go. A decade later I’m there.

Holy fuck, how did I ever miss this? There were like 100 people there, all family and close friends. And the food. Tables and tables and tables of pickled vegetables, sushi, sashimi, Japanese soups and deserts and it was all so good.

But that was only half of it. Her family is the family you wish you had—all so friendly, intelligent, rad and super welcoming. It was pretty much the best New Year’s Day I’ve ever had. Tip of the hat to this lady:

2 Responses to “2013-1: Back to Life”

I have a purple “turtle fur” I bought at the top of Whistler one day when I lost feeling of my jaw and wondered how all these other motherfuckers were not dying. It’s thick and purple and called “turtle fur.” Very phallic, in my mind. But I always have COCK on the brain, so hmm.
But yeah I can’t comprehend that cat-tube. I’d imagine myself just staring at it in the parking lot, unable to even walk towards the chairlift.

Also regarding this “Zipper Chute” (that’s it’s common name): it was fun. Thanks for reading. But know that it’s pretty mellow compared to the bout-it dudes. Don’t get me mixed up with ice-ax-having helmet-wearing mofos. No interest in that!

Get out here, ride some splitboards with us. At least get legally high (article today about someone’s gonna go for vending machines. Cannabis vending machines. In USAye. You have GOT to be kidding me!–dude’s going to blow it for all of us!)