Since 1985, in various formats, SLANT -- an independent voice based in Richmond's Fan District -- has offered its readers original commentary on politics and popular culture, including cartoons and selected sundries. Warning: Sometimes that means satirical content. All rights are reserved.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

To Smell the Truth

Maybe I kidded you a bit, at times. Maybe I fibbed about "that woman" and a little ol' bee-jay. But I never lied about starting a war. Hey. Or, how I came to shoot a Texas lawyer, much as I might have wanted to cap one in my day.

Lies, damn lies, and even statistics come in shades of red or blue these days. Not to mention, in appropriate scents, as well. These are partisan times. In an era happy with pickled news, credibility is a quaint concept.

Harry Whittington, who was shot by Vice President Dick Cheney in what is so far being called a “hunting accident,” has now had "a minor heart attack," according to hospital officials. Apparently some of the birdshot from Cheney’s shotgun blast is moving around in the the 78-year-old Texas attorney’s heart.

Oops! The old expression "as serious as a heart attack" is suddenly politically incorrect on one side of the aisle. So, make that a heart attack lite.

Today I couldn't help but hear the usual barroom I'm-never-wrong experts bellowing about the agenda of the "liberal media" over laughter about what Cheney himself has wrought. Sorry boys, Dave Letterman knows this one is good for laughs. And so does anyone else who knows the difference between shinola and Texas truth.

“Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good,” has said Katharine Armstrong, the owner of the site of the shooting, Armstrong Ranch, who was a witness. “It broke the skin,” she said the day after the incident.

"Peppered" sounds sort of mild. So, just how far from the victim was Cheney standing when his 28-gauge shotgun went off? Armstrong has said it was 30 yards. With a wee projectile in Whittington's heart it sounds like the peppering process did a bit more than merely break the skin.

If, as I have read, nearly all of the pellets from the shotgun shell actually struck Whittington in the face, neck, chest, etc., what does that suggest? While I’m no firearms expert, I'm wondering if that tight of a shot pattern and that level of penetration through winter hunting garb and flesh suggests we may not be hearing the unvarnished truth about this story. A couple of my bird-hunting friends tell me I might have something.

Then there's the poorly explained delay in the details of the shooting getting out. In 2006 Cheney and his handlers all knew that such a delay in reporting the incident would make red flags pop up. Yet, they let it happen, anyway.

Was what went on in that time worth it? Perhaps so.

Bottom line: I bet Bill Clinton would like to watch Dick Cheney answer questions about it under oath. Hmmm. Smells like more of that Texas truth.