The logical leap between the women of South Park and women in Iran

Yesterday, an article published in (on?) Slatemade the argument that if a country’s leadership oppresses and alienates half its population, it’s going to fail. A concept that should be totally obvious seems lost on many national leaders when it comes to the fact that half their country’s population are women. This is precisely what countries like Iran keep trying to pull and one of the most significant reasons everyone’s calling shenanigans on the recent Iranian elections.

Violence usually succeeds, at least in the short term, in intimidating people. In the long term, however, the links, structures, organizations, and groups set up by Iranian women, not to mention the photographs of the last week, will continue to gnaw away at the Iranian regime’s legitimacy.

Leave it to South Park to illustrate this phenomenon beautifully. In the episode Crab People, the sudden prevalence of gay media – particularly Queer Eye for the Straight Guy – makes metrosexualism the fad, and one that which only applies to the men of the town. Later, we find out that the Queer Eye guys aren’t actually gay dudes, but, in fact, tyrannical crab people hellbent on world domination (analogous to many existing human leaders).

At first, their plan seems to be going along swimmingly – all the men have fallen victim to the metrosexual lifestyle. That is, of course, until something catches fire and the men freak out about their new jeans and expensive hair products, resulting in the tragic burning of the local Rhinoplasty clinic.

At this point, the women of South Park have had it and they want their men back. Their solution? Beat the
shit out of who started it: the Queer Eye guys. Who are, of course, the crab people (who I earlier described as tyrannical).

The point of this story? You can’t accomplish world domination (national leadership) solely wooing the world’s (country’s) men. And just when you think you’ve accomplished something, women unite and beat the shit out of you with bats.