It won’t be Glenn Rivers and as always, it’s not his fault – via Bulpett

“The comments hit social media mere moments after the Celtics walked off the court in victory on Monday night. Four years after Doc Rivers left town, the Celts were back in the conference finals, and Doc has yet to get there with the Los Angeles Clippers.

Taking into account his team is in the far-more-difficult-to-navigate Western Conference and that injuries have hindered the quest, it’s a tough comparison to make with any intellectual honesty.”

Brady signs another ritzy endorsement deal. Get Reimer and that 98.5 equivalent to snarkily write it up! It’s funny that Brady is Tag Heuer and Aston Martin and Peyton Manning is Papa John’s and Bud Light in my mouth. 😆

Lipton’s Earl Grey and Lapsang Souchon brands are missing a huge opportunity to partner with Peyton, IMHO. Surprised his agent isn’t working the phones to make that happen.

Tag Hauer? Don’t mind if I do! That’s the kind of “going Dutch” I can get behind, or in front of, or beneath, if you will. As for the more common use of that phrase, I will be happy to bear all of Mr’ Hauer’s travel, lodging, and incidental expenses should he agree to such a meeting

Hauer founded the Rutger Hauer Starfish Association..

Say no more! Private jet, Four Seasons…Kathy will work some OT this month

I need to amend my living trust such that If I ever accidentally kill myself in some sort of horrible misadventure while jacking off people are informed that I simply hung myself. It would be better that way.

A Florida man’s claims that his girlfriend choked to death on his penis during sex may not hold up in court.

According to the Sun Sentinel, a prosecution medical expert testified Thursday that it was highly unlikely Francisca Marquinez, 60, died while performing oral sex on Richard Henry Patterson. The 65-year-old was charged with second-degree murder for the October 2015 death of Marquinez.

Boiko, who performed the autopsy on Marquinez, said in order for the woman to have choked on her boyfriend’s member she would have had no reaction to her airway being blocked for more than 30 seconds.

“She will kick, bite, do something to prevent the blocking of the airway,” he said. “It’s the normal reaction.”

The medical expert said that he could not determine exactly how Marquinez died because her body, especially her face and neck, was badly decomposed by the time the autopsy was performed.

Following her death, Patterson called an ex-girlfriend and his daughter instead of alerting police, the outlet reported. The former girlfriend brought Patterson to defense lawyer Ken Padowitz, who then called 911 and informed officers that Marquinez had died.

According to Padowitz, his client failed to immediately seek help because he was embarrassed about the nature of how Marquinez died. To prove that it was a mistake Padowitz previously asked the judge if Patterson could show his erect penis to the courtroom.

“Although the object to be viewed is not a place but a part of the human anatomy, it is material and relevant,” he said.

Broward Circuit Judge Lisa Porter still has not decided if she is going to comply with Patterson’s request.

Medical expert testifies Florida woman didn’t die during oral sex – NY Daily News A Florida man’s claims that his girlfriend choked to death on his penis during sex may not hold up in court. According to the Sun Sentinel, a prosecution medical expert testified Thursday that it was highly unlikely Francisca Marquinez, 60, died while performing oral sex on Richard Henry Patterson. The 65-year-old was charged with second-degree murder for the October 2015 death of Marquinez. “I don’t think it’s possible,” associate Broward Medical Examiner Iouri Boiko told the courtroom. Boiko, who performed the autopsy on Marquinez, said in order for the woman to have choked on her boyfriend’s member she would have had no reaction to her airway being blocked for more than 30 seconds. Fla. man bitten on tongue by rattlesnake after trying to kiss it A Florida man claims his girlfriend died because she choked on his penis during sex. A Florida man claims his girlfriend died because she choked on his penis during sex. “She will kick, bite, do something to prevent the blocking of the airway,” he said. “It’s the normal reaction.” The medical expert said that he could not determine exactly how Marquinez died because her body, especially her face and neck, was badly decomposed by the time the autopsy was performed. Following her death, Patterson called an ex-girlfriend and his daughter instead of alerting police, the outlet reported. The former girlfriend brought Patterson to defense lawyer Ken Padowitz, who then called 911 and informed officers that Marquinez had died. According to Padowitz, his client failed to immediately seek help because he was embarrassed about the nature of how Marquinez died. To prove that it was a mistake Padowitz previously asked the judge if Patterson could show his erect penis to the courtroom. “Although the object to be viewed is not a place but a part of the human anatomy, it is material and relevant,” he said. Broward Circuit Judge Lisa Porter still has not decided if she is going to comply with Patterson’s request.

If you bet under 24 on the number of Joe Gill tweets and re-tweets on Chris Cornell, you got to pay the man.

I was thinking about this yesterday. Someone posted yesterday that Gill had 11 FB posts about Cornell. I’m not the social media expert or content cook he is, so all that posting on multiple platforms would take me at least an hour. Is saying “Hold on, one of my favorite singers died” an acceptable response when your family or employer is asking you if something is done?

So I go with the Chaz Rose on the program and talk about environment. I pretend to like earth, is good for image. Eez between you and me, mebbe we own coltan mine in Brazil through TB12 LLC and maybe the slurry it runoff into groundwater and mebbe whole villages get the cancer, ya? Shhhhh. Haha. And perhaps we use how you say – the steel belted radial? We burn for heat in slav- errr umm guest quarters, ya? Is very efficient. But anyway, on the program, I say sum-sing and now everyone say I yap yap yap too much. I say oh Tommy he get the concuss last year. Now everyone think ooh the bad bad football Patriot and the CTE blah blah. No! Is not why concussion happen to Tommy last year. Tommy have “accident” at home back for Deflategate when he could no go to the stadium. I thought he out throwing balls to Wesley – you remember – short little arms like cute crocodillo – big big dropsies, ya? You want to talk about the CTE, he come for visit and all he do lick wallpaper in living room and watch Adventure Time with Benny. So I think Tommy out throw to Wes and I set up nice big pile of Necco Wafers, clove only, yum yum, the best. So I put pile under big chandelier, maybe Jackie come and he want a nice snack, ya? So I hear footstep come and pull rope and chandelier come down boom. Oops, not Jack! Tommy come home early! Haha. So he get booboo on head. Alex, his Mexican – “where’s my Mexican? There he is! There’s my Mexican!” haha is Trump reference. Alex rub the Concussion Water on Tommy head. Is really pink Himalaya salt and seltzer. Anyway, my ‘usband, he think it work. No days off!

There goes Giz; Running her soundhole again. In reality, through a series of top secret microbiotic transferers, we have assured that Tommy’s neuroradiotic messages simply amplitude over; and That’s every time he gets hit in the upper neck oval ear holder! From megaweeks of studying Calogero Anello in the transmitters I can tell you without a berfin of a doubt that Tommy’s top sphere has been and always will be what you “people” call concussion free. I can recall back in September 2008 post lower stem mischief we had diagnosified Tommy with a simple leggy rip. He chose to go all Western and could barely bounce until he underwent our patented air absorption therapy. So he’s all good, and now with ol’ mater Gay don’t eve get me started. She did some chemical theraputics first, but I’ll bet my green and silver monies that my recommendation for a follicle reduction is what has her as fresh as lettuce.

CUB FAN DIES AFTER FALLING OVER WRIGLEY RAILING “At least he died happy, and in The Friendly Confines themselves!” I’m sure we were similarly obnoxious in 2005, but what I would give if only Tito had one more healthy starting pitcher …

I went to a Keith Foulke autograph signing in Holyoke back of 2005. There was this old couple bragging how the husband was born the year the last time the Red Sox won a World Series. That first Red Sox title brought the douchebag out of all ages.

Now to think of it my car was in the same parking lot as the truck WEEI bought Keith Foulke! Shit, I just became one of those first title douchebags.