Salad labelled as “ready-to-eat” is more dangerous than beefburgers, one of Britain`s top food experts has said, following a spate of Cryptosporidium infections linked to the product.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t mind the occasional mix of iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, salad onions, cucumbers, radishes and mayo. But not every bloody meal, as some cooks, mainly of the fairer sex, would prefer. And what’s it with avocadoes? Tasteless, horrible looking and expensive, almost as unappealing as rocket lettuce. Writer Will Self recalled rocket was once poisoned by the council when it grew in footpath cracks, but now sells at trendy markets for five pounds a kilo.

4 Comments for 'Pleased to meat me'

I presume you are referring to the take-away salad mixes which can be bought over the counter at delicatessens, like Woolies. Of course such a diet becomes monotonous but I am disappointed that you find avocado falls short of your expectations. Not so the ghastly rocket – this weed has become the fallback for every unimaginative ‘chef’ in the country. The first time I encountered it I thought it had been removed from a railway cutting. I have not changed my mind.

I am sure the obese female bogan bush pigs that live in areas like Geelong or even out where you are now Bernie are very fond of macca’s and other rubbish food feral fat arsed women from. Are the women in your family obese Bernie, fair chance they’ll all fat pigs. Not all women are into salad and healthy living. Most of these types come from feral suburbs like Bachus Marsh or rural areas & most are lower socioeconomic ALP voters. Good looking fit & healthy types that eat vegetables & salad do come from wealthier Liberal suburbs like Templestowe/Doncaster.

Don’t speak too soon Slatts. The mystery meat scandal in the UK is getting even more entertaining. At least here if you are not sure what’s in your pie it probably hopped. There it may have barked or neighed.

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