…let people merge in front of you. It won't ruin your life

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How to Chicago: Shows. Stand Your Ground

42. Stand your ground at intimate, crowded venues. Those shows where it’s so stuffed everyone’s shoulders are touching. People are moving all around you encroaching on your personal space. Stepping on your feet. Claustrophobia inspiring. The guy in front of you keeps swaying back putting his hairy melon in your face.

Standing your ground is quite effective. Simply increase your base of support by spreading your feet a bit. Put your shoe directly up against the hippie’s shoe whose bothering you the most. And don’t move it! I mean, not even a little. That subtle, tactile hint will repel your foe. In a moment or three they’ll move their hoof away from yours giving you more space. I’ve never had a foot stepped on. You can do it in any direction. Of course, if you yourself like to sway and get lost in the tune have at it. I’m just getting old and crotchety.