Pet peeves: Why men irritate women

We’re helping you save your time. We choose to wear pajamas for two weeks because we love you. PHOTO: AFP

Sometimes, men irritate the hell out of women, and honestly they know it but they just act like they don’t. Growing up, I remember teasing the girl I liked the most in school only to get her to notice me. So perhaps the irritating streak has continued to be part of our DNA as we’ve grown up.

We don’t know why we do this, but we do. No matter how many times you tell us to put the toilet seat down, we will leave it up. I guess your constant nagging gives us the satisfaction that we’ve been able to get under your skin. So by that logic if you stop getting irritated by it, we may just put it down one day. Think about that.

2. Dichotomy of long life pyjamas

I don’t understand why women want us to change our pyjamas every second day, even when they don’t smell foul (and you hate when we check them for bad odour too!)

I say if it doesn’t stink, it doesn’t stink and it doesn’t need to be changed. So why not leave us be with our pyjamas that don’t require washing for two weeks?

Think of it this way, we’re saving water, time, and effort. In that sense, we’re helping you save your time too. We choose to wear pyjamas for two weeks because we love you.

3. Not brushing my teeth on holidays

It’s my day off, and I want to be lazy. At least I gargle and use mouthwash (sometimes) – then why all the fuss?

By definition, us men were born to live as bums only so that you women have a project to work on for the rest of your lives.

If we were perfect, who would you nag?

4. Short version syndrome

Woman, even if you were a best-selling author, I would still want to hear the short summary of your day and not a minute by minute account. I read somewhere that women on average speak 8,000 words a day while men only speak about 3,000 – it’s probably because you don’t really let us talk at all.

5. Weekend quandary

So I spend close to 50 hours a week working, and on the weekend I need to have my time with the boys to relax.

But somehow you women are always planning what we should do over the weekend as a couple, while men are thinking about “what do I do over the weekend” with the boys. Granted, we can be selfish but then again you get your time with the girls during the week, don’t you? So when do I get my time with my boys?

6. Quick shopping fixation

Send men/boys into a gadget store, and they’ll spend hours there. However, we will spend those hours playing with the products, not thinking of what to get. Men have been programmed to make quick decisions, and we pride ourselves on that.

We cannot and will not be able to spend hours with you in a mall, looking at clothes you want to buy, jewellery you wished we had bought you, or furniture that would make our home stand out. If you want to buy something, please know what it is before you enter the store. It helps if you follow the list you’ve made before leaving the house, which you tend to forget when you’re in the store.

7. The sick baby

When women are sick, they take it quite well. They’re able to manage their sickness in a graceful fashion, and get back on their feet pretty quickly. However, when we get sick, it’s like the end of the world for us. It doesn’t matter if it’s a cold or a car crash, our response is always going to be the same as a reaction to a brush with death that requires extra care sprinkled with a dose of over-dramatisation.

Nevertheless, it gets us the attention we crave so much.

Note: This message has been endorsed by my wife. I can say this because I have my wife’s permission to do so.

Adeel Ansari moonlighted as an RJ on Cityfm89 (as Jellyman) but now works at Henkel after completing his MBA-Marketing from Lahore School of Economics and is currently settled in Dubai. He tweets as @Adeel_Ansari (twitter.com/Adeel_Ansari)

Ill prefer staying single if guys actually act such freaky after marriage.Recommend

Nandita.

I have a husband ,a father, loads of brothers and friends but I don’t know any man who doesn’t brush his teeth or doesn’t change his pajamas days on end.

So not brushing your teeth and wanting to wear the same pyjamas for two weeks just means YOU HAVE BAD HYGIENE HABITS. I don’t think these are tactics to irritate women, a person with good hygiene couldn’t behave that way. They are other ways to irritate people.

So, i’ll get back to reading the rest of your article but seriously do you really skip brushing your teeth eww.Recommend

Dear Moderator –
Seriously, you let people get away with saying loads of crap.Recommend

Usman

LOL I was reading this article and I was like this dude’s wife better know about this article keeping in mind the mobile article he wrote. The mention of wife’s permission at the end of the article just cracked me up! :DRecommend

Rizwan

Congratulations!
now you have started irritating men too by writing this piece.. and stop including ALL men in your assumptions. i am out of this stupid league who purposely annoy women Recommend

Number 7 is true for all guys I know. And is annoying as fooze! :@ Hate it.Recommend

Big Rizvi

So… How many Pakistani women does it take to unlock a car door? I know, one hundred! One to hold the door and the rest to watch humsafar, then go COMPLETELY crazy that the whole country starts spinning around for them! (Well, you need rotational motion to open the door, no?) :PRecommend

http://NewYork Falcon

Being a guy, I might not agree with the rest but 4 and 6 are certainly common.Recommend

Umair

That’s simply bad hygiene habits! Do not generalize it on all menRecommend

Ahmed

Good Oral Hygiene with Mint.
Fresh Pajamas every day.
& Shut lid of the toilet seat…… I DO ALL THAT!!!!Recommend

Yuri Kondratyuk

So I spend close to 50 hours a week working, and on the weekend I need to have my time with the boys to relax.

But somehow you women are always planning what we should do over the weekend as a couple, while men are thinking about “what do I do over the weekend” with the boys

That’s a nice read and I did giggle while going through it.
To be honest I am good in No.1 and No.3 but the rest are right on the money. My wife get so annoyed with me because of my Pyjamas as I don’t change them for like two weeks at least and it’s good to see that I am not the only one doing that lol. And yeah in addition to that I don’t change my t-shirt as well for weeks until my wife hides it somewhere…hehe…I don’t know why we do that as I am sure we all have cupboard full of t-shirts…..Recommend

Farah Kamal

Your assumptions:

all men wear pajamas for two weeks, meaning they never perform wudoo and offer namaz since they keep wearing dirty clothes.
All wifes sniff their husbands pajamas could be gross then this
all wives party with their girls during the weekdays
all men work 9-5, and get sundays off
You forgot that in average Pakistani families it is entire family day on sundays and every evening and they live in joint families and there is nothing like boys day or girls day.

You wrote about a handful of so called westernized wannabe husband and their wives, someone mentioned cosmo and yes you tried to act like a man from these mags. Hah!!! Complexed!! This is from nowhere even close to any educated, semi educated, uneducated, urbanized or rural man or his wife.

…..the best part is its written by a man. Thoroughly enjoyed the read.Recommend

Nobody

@Usman:
Lol so you’re suggesting he WILL get laid by irritating women? You’ve got it backwards my friend. Recommend

Huma

ummm… u started off with one irritating point, and then proceeded to go on and on about what u find irritating in women… i guess thats the most irritating bit about this whole post. And lack of personal hygiene isnt irritating, its downright gross! although why ur wife doesnt just throw ur dirty pajamas for washing after a day or two is also something very strange…Recommend

Ayesha Pervez

My husband is cleaner than me. Also he never makes a fuss when hes ill… but yes the traits you have mentioned I find in my father and brother a lot! Recommend

http://www.doomedlions.wordpress.com Doomed

Sexism and sadism is funny, and sometimes more logical, and more meaningful in a pointless evolutionary colossal accident of a biological life.

Nice humor for my weekend Adeel.

The men who call this sexism, they only do so in public to score points with females by being that “nice guy.” But that is not how you will get to take women to your bed. Keep trying though, purely just by chance you might get a woman for a night. Recommend

omer

nice work ansari….the faraz talats of the world will always try to appease the mahreen kasanas of the world…for once take something in good humorRecommend

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/author/430/faraz-talat/ Faraz Talat

Omer,

Trust me, nobody stands for free expression and comedy like I do. The chief complaint here isn’t sexism – it’s the lack of originality, the inability to come up with something that hasn’t been worn out through overuse.

As I said, the offensiveness can be tolerated if it’s all in good humour, but good humour just wasn’t there…for the better part. The bit about best-selling authors and endorsement from his wife made me smile.Recommend

omer

faraz,
although i dont agree fully but by and large your point taken and acceptedRecommend

Very funny read. People now have forgotten the purpose of a blog and why its there in the first place. It made me laugh and it got me thinking about my boyfriend through some parts! everyone needs to calm down on his oral hygiene and what not, there are a lot of exaggerations. That is just the way it has been written,
IF YOU WANT TO READ SOMETHING SERIOUS ”THE GOOD LIFE” ON AN ETRIBUNE BLOG IS NOT THE PLACE.
WARNING: THIS CAN SOMETIMES BE FOR FUN, LAUGHS, GOOD TIME YOU KNOW? Recommend

Mrs. Adeel Ansari

I am also get irritated; when you put our personal stuff on ET.Recommend