Dong Johnson

With a band name like Dong Johnson, you’d probably be expecting something a little more lighthearted than what they actually deliver—especially after seeing their logo: the iconic Black Flag bars replaced by um, well, dicks. Everything is all cute and funny over here, right? Nope. Aside from the goofy name and imagery, the Philly-based, four-piece punk outfit leaves little to laugh at. Musically, they are concise and abrasive, a little bit of hardcore here, a little metal there, and hey, even some surf, just because they can. Lyrically, shock is their forte, with some of their songs able to be mistaken for some unearthed GG Allin outtakes (see: “Wanna Fuck”). Their shows, fronted by singer Opal Rock, are loud, vicious and alive. He thrashes around, scowls, screams and throws his scraggly hair in every which direction, actually succeeding in being pretty intimidating. Onstage is where they truly shine, obviously the best way to get a sense of who they are and what they do. Their four-song Happy Birthday EP is also available as a safer, albeit less effective method of acquainting yourself with the Dong. —Anthony Trivelli