The Voice: Second chances and soaring talent

And what better way to celebrate than with a … Prince medley? Cee-Lo Green in sequins. Adam Levine singing his heart out — through his nose. Christina wearing a flat tire on her head (with nails still inserted). And poor Blake Shelton, who has no idea what’s happening around him.

More blind auditions. More teams are formed. Here we go!

The Line: A non-couple couple who is borderline annoying in interviews. And slightly more tolerable onstage. They’re just OK on Tom Petty’s American Girl, but it has absolutely no flavor. Oatmeal. Nevertheless, all four judges spin their chairs around. Team XTina. Maybe she can spice them up a bit.

Jamar Rogers: Talk about a backstory. Jamar Rogers is a former meth addict and is HIV-positive. It’s tough not to feel this one in the gut. And it’s tough not to love his performance. Gritty and soulful — but polished and poppy, too — during Seven Nation Army. Easily the best so far. Finally, I’m excited. Team Cee-Lo.

BUT REALLY? ONE CHAIR SPIN AND ALL FOUR FOR OATMEAL DUO? Wrongness. Also, you might remember Jamar from another reality show:

Neal Middleton: Bo Bice got a perm and a really stupid hat. The voice isn’t bad, but it’s outdated and overrought. And singing Heard It Through the Grapevine does him no favors. A word of advice. LOSE THE TEARS AND THE HAT.

Gwen Sebastian: This girl is sobbing about something but I have no idea what it is. Music? Choosing? Drummer boyfriend? No kids? What is she talking about? She’s just not great during Sugarland’s Stay, despite interest from the three male judges. That song is is all about emotion, and she had none. She’ll be cut soon. Team Blake. AND SHE IS STILL CRYING.

Pamela Rose: A thin, wispy start to Kelly Clarkson’s Already Gone. And then it gets WORSE. She sounds like she’s in pain. Just no, girl. You’re pretty. Do something with that. It’s also why this show works. Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler would have said “YES!” because of her looks.

Kim Yarbrough: And the award for best backstory goes to this Chaka Khan-esque diva, who worked in a potato chip factory and did security for Dave Matthews. Plus, she’s 50!

Onstage, she’s good. Not great. But good. I like her energy and her spirit during Tell Me Something Good. (Chaka Khan! She even looks like her!) But they’re fooling her if they tell her she can be anything other than an R&B or a gospel singer. Team Adam.

Angie Johnson: This U.S. Air Force staff sergeant was almost derailed by nerves during Pat Benatar’s Heartbreaker. But she gets better as the song goes on.

And this is the video she was talking about:

Maybe she should have sung that. Still, I’m curious to see where she can go and if she can step up. Team Cee-Lo.

Dez Duron: OK, I’m not gonna front, y’all. This guy is ridiculously cute. RIDICULOUSLY. And a football star. And ridiculously cute. But he’s just not a very good singer. Nasal and flat and all over the place. No chair spins for his Backstreet Boys song. And rightfully so.

Even his own videos are underwhelming.

Lindsey Pavao: OHAI XENIA FROM SEASON 1. Quirky, to be sure, but not painfully shy. Let’s see what she can do outside that alt-girl box. Team XTina.

Hoja Lopez: I’ve seen this girl perform around Houston, and she’s fantastic. Seriously, genuinely fantastic. Sexy and assured and soulful onstage. (And an air-guitar champ. SERIOUSLY.) But Teenage Dream is 100-percent the wrong song for her. A Katy Perry tune isn’t going to make anyone sound good (and barely does Katy Perry).

Maybe Hoja will get a call back if the judges don’t have enough people on their teams?

Song choice (I know, I know, the ol’ war cry of AI judges the world over) is so important, obvs. Pick something in your wheel house, pick a great song, and perform it well. Some people pick songs because they merely “like” the song, but it doesn’t do their voice justice.

After awhile, some of these singers just sound the same…they have typical rock or R&B voices and seem to imitate what they think sounds good rather than being true artists that have a unique voice or viewpoint. Too many generic singers…I don’t care about background stories, I care about the voice. AI overwhelms us with the backgrounds…I’m not adopting a pet with a sad story from the ASPCA, I’m voting for the best singer.