Trimming the bush of life…

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JOCOQUE & FRIJOLES!

JOCK-COCK & FRIDGE-HOLES? Why would you?
Dear ladies and the occasional gentleman, Veronica & myself decided to venture out on a late summer’s evening for a ladylike supper by the sea.
“Sounds lovely” I hear you say, the idea certainly was the actuality was slightly different.
We arrived at the restaurant and I secured a table outside on the decking, looking out over a perfect azure sea, dappled with early evening sunlight.
Veronica at the bar requested two glasses of wine to be put on the bill and the menu.
The young woman (definately not a lady) abruptly told her ” You carnt ave a tab, you’ll have to pay for those drinks”
Veronica politely pointed out that we would like to enjoy a drink whilst perusing the menu and would pay altogether at the end of our meal. Veronica paid for the drinks!
We sat with this glorious view but with the monologue from what can only be described as a ‘RICHARD HEAD’ booming from the next table.
We surreptitiously whilst pretending to look at the view moved to the other end; bliss, silence. Which was then rudely interrupted by a FAT COMEDIENNE bursting into ‘I AM THE MUSIC MAN’ from the function room next to us.
I downed my chilled Rose, Veronica concealed her white wine spritzer and we proceeded down the back stairs and along the promenade, Veronica sipping as we went to another seaview restaurant. Meeting on the way a WHITE POODLE, rather handsome who was taking a tattooed skinhead who wasn’t, for a walk. He attempted conversation we just smiled and petted him, clever poodle more articulate than it’s owner.
We arrived and climbed the stairs to be greeted by SOMBREROS and “hello ladies it’s Mexican Night”
Veronica muttering “I don’t feel like a Mexican”
Me: “Can we have one of the tables by the window please?”
Sombrero: “No, I can give you a table at the back”

Ladies what would you have done? I am sure the same as us. We DID NOT want to eat something called JOCK-COCK or FRIDGE-HOLES and we did not want to sit at the back without a view when there were two tables by the window free. We declined in a ladylike manner and found a comfy seat downstairs with seaviews and no sombreros; well not until the SOMBREROED young man who brought our meal turned up.