Sleuth 02/07/2010

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to print. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows.

Captain America for the Northern Quarter?Sleuth’s had this from a reader in the Northern Quarter. ‘Hey, Sleuthy babe, a guy from Shepperton Studios Locations team just came round to each flat in our building to talk about a proposed shoot. He left me with a handy letter which said: ‘Frostbite is the working title of a major feature film set in World War II and is a comic book action adaptation’. It’s an adaptation of Captain America. They've been in meetings with the council, police etc. and expect to start filming from the end of September around Dale Street. They're going as far as to add false shop fronts to the buildings and remove street lights.’

Tommy Lee Jones for the Northern Quarter?Frostbite is actually a false title to put people off the scent, the real title will be The First Avenger: Captain America. This means that Tommy Lee Jones who is due to star in the film might be in town. If Jones plays his cards right, Sleuth might take him out, Blackdog Ballroom, Sankeys, Circle, end up in the Press Club at 6am. Then we could get Captain America to rescue us from that God-awful place of last resort.

Sleuth - small glasses of wine and men: it’s wrongSleuth’s been typing this column in the City Inn, waiting for a group of Spanish company directors – don’t ask. There’s a trio of male solicitors on the table next door, all talking about the estate of some dead woman very very loudly and all evidently staying at the hotel. They’ve just had a long debate about whether to order wine. They decided yes and then ordered small glasses of wine. Small glasses. Sleuth doesn’t understand men who order small glasses of wine. It’s not the right hunter-gatherer thing to do. It betrays our primal urges. Big glasses fellas, big ones. Bet Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t drink small glasses of wine.

Jerk off Sleuth was on his way into town the other day when he saw that the Caribbean place in Whalley Range had changed its name. It used to be the pleasantly alliterative Rhythm ‘n’ Rice. The new management have decided to spice things up, or maybe they've just not thought things through. They’ve renamed the place Jerk Junction. Not the wisest move Sleuth reckons, couple of connotations there, neither of them very pleasant.

Batting errorSo Sleuth was being taken around The Point at Lancashire Cricket Club. He was being shown how the vast new conference facility can seat more diners than any other venue in the city – an astounding four million or something like that (Er, you mean 1000. Ed). The young lady giving the tour pointed out of the window at the pitch. “And we’re even changing the wicket too,” she said, “it turns out we’ve been batting the wrong way for years.” Sleuth knows a person like that – it worked out very well for him when he’d made the change though, all his friends understood.

Sleuth's best name-drop of the weekSleuth loves this rant on the Nino's review (click here). A character calling himself 'Rubber Duck' who disagreed with the review wrote: 'Please consider re-reviewing this restaurant or at the very least removing this article. I am very influential in the ITV lighting department and am sure that I can get Jeremy Kyle to have a word or two about this on air.' The editor's being brave and retaining the story, but he's keeping an eye out for those terrifying ITV lighting department types.

Bookmarket in St Ann’sSleuth was at the Manchester Independent Bookmarket over the weekend. This took place in St Ann’s Square and was all right. Not amazing, but all right. Sleuth would love this to turn into a Hay on Wye vast thing with bookstalls from all over the country stretching down New Cathedral Street through Exchange Square. Other bookstalls in Albert Square and King Street too would work. Sleuth bought Manchester writer, David Constantine’s new collection of short stories from Comma Press and read the first one about a body being fished from the Irwell. Very good. The Comma girls posed for Sleuth. Matthew Frost from Manchester University Press gave Sleuth a quizzical look when they met at the Carcanet stall.

Sleuth’s quizzical look of the weekHere's Matthew Frost and that quizzical look. Frost has one of the four best moustaches in Manchester. Michael Trainor has another one – click here.

Number’s upSleuth was having a pint with Neil Sowerby in the Marble Arch. Neil is our travel editor and formerly the main food reviewer for the MEN. Sleuth and Sowerby were talking about a critic’s liverish life. Neil recounted how he once wrote a review of Sanminis, the fabulous Indian restaurant in Ramsbottom. “It was a 01706 number for the contact details,” he said, “my home number’s an 01706 number as well. In a rush I mistakenly put my number in for the restaurant’s. My wife and I were out when the story was published: my daughter at home, hoping for a quiet night in with her boyfriend. The phone rang almost fifty times with people asking to book a meal or read the menu. It was an easy mistake to make I had to explain later.”

Monster bikingSleuth was watching the road the other day, trying to avoid a whole hill of work. Suddenly he saw this late entry for the Manchester Day Parade or some such. He has no idea what it is but it introduced a timely element of absurdity into an otherwise dull day. Inspired he changed into his Edwardian cycling costume, jumped astride his penny farthing, and rolled down Deansgate, exclaiming, “tally-ho!” to all and sundry. Much more interesting than the work.

Sleuth sets off down Deansgate

Sleuth’s city stroll Here are some pics Sleuth took strolling around the city on Saturday. Thought he’d share them with you, in the spirit of the Cityco 'Open City' photography exhibition coming to the Triangle next week. Sleuth thinks he needs to keep to the words.