More than 2 years have passed since I left Cameroon to Uganda and from Uganda to the USA. It has been an amazing journey of discovery marked by the revelation of my true passion for bringing change through writing. In this article, I would like to share some mistakes I did in this journey and how I turned them into directions for a better integration.

I learned quite a lot from those mistakes and I am happy they gave me a greater sense of responsibility. Before reading my story, you could watch the following video of Yubing Zhang talking about her experience outside her comfort zone during a speech at TedxStanford.

Speaking the Same Language Does not Guarantee Trust. One of the first mistakes I did was to think that speaking the same language is a good sign that you can share privacy with others. What a deception to notice that It was not the case. I sadly discovered that being new in an environment makes you vulnerable to the curiosity of many.

I became afraid to trust anyone speaking the same native language with me but, I also needed them to understand the new environment. I learned the true meaning of trust and how to take time to build genuine foundations for confidence with others.

You better be Alone than Having Fake Friends. The second mistake was to try to build friends without defining boundaries. I met some dangerous genius fake friends who could play the game of sharing their life with me in other to create trust; without realizing, I considered them as authentic and also started sharing my life. It was the greatest of my mistake in those 2 years.

The greatest of the lessons out of this mistake was to settle bounderies in relationships. I had to come to the evidence that building friendship must be goal-oriented. Later on I discovered the win-win approach for successfull friendships and started applying it with satisfactory results.

My Work Place is not a Private Place. Being new in a country could be more challenging than one could imagine. Because one does not have relationships, the workplace becomes where familiarities are easily developed. I felt so comfortable that I could do simple things like walking around in a workplace, looking for a charger for my phone that was going off, talking with a female colleague, charging my phone using a computer , not thinking it could be analyzed as suspicious behaviors.

The first idea that came into my mind when I noticed the suspicious attitudes was to quit. But I decided to stay and learned how to manage a workplace in a more professional way.

Help may come from unexpected people. I am really amazed by the number of unknown people who supported me and my family. People we just said a “hello” of greating for the first time. Strangely, those we were expecting the most were the one who disappointed us the most; what I mean is that we made the mistake of closing our relationship circle because we were foreigners. Hoping that the best help will probably come from those surrounding us.

I now understand that everywhere, I need to be kind with everybody because I don’t know whose of these people will be God’s angel help in a situation. A simple “Good morning” could open unexpected great opportunities.

I surely have a lot to learn in the coming days, weeks and years outside comfort zones, but these 4 lessons are helping me to manage a lot of stressful situations. The most important thing to keep in mind is not to be afraid to make mistakes: They are part of the growth process.

I would like to hear from your experience outside your country’s comfort zone.

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In June 2016, I checked seed4future’s email box and I found there: “Looking for partnership to grow my NGO”. What an excitement! This message came when I was questioning the impact of six months spent on social media, sharing development blog posts. Two months later, I met with Mr. James for 2 hours in Nairobi for our first encounter after weeks of online discussions.

The connection with Mr. James leads me to be connected with 4 others development professionals in Nairobi, Netherlands, and Uganda. Today, we still exchange through Facebook inbox conversations and I am planning how to grow our partnership.

It’s good to understand that social media friendships or virtual friendships can fall into professional, family or emotional links. In this article, I focus only on the professional aspect of virtual relationships. I would like to share my personal experience on how I started some true friendships on social media.

From physical to virtual. One of the easiest ways to make genuine friendships online is to be connected to people you know in the normal professional life through one of the media channels. In case one of you travel or have to work in remote places, you are sure to maintain quality conversations and updated information about each other.

From Virtual to Physical. Some professional relationships start online like the one I have with Mr. James. Most professional who get recruited for examples through online application have to meet later to sign documents or have physical meetings to confirm the identity of the new recruit.

Find common interests. If you integrate online groups that share the same professional vision with you, you will more likely find true friends there. Linked for example is one the most successful networking community where you will easily connect to new professional and develop authentic interactions.

The law of the 100th. This law stipulates that if you have 1000 contacts in social networks connections, only 10 will be active. Though this approach is mostly used by marketing professionals, you can also use it to grow your network by simply inviting people to join.One way to easily do it is by inviting friend of friends; Also, if you receive an invitation (even if you know the person), make sure you go on the person’s profile page to check if it’s not a hacker; Generally hacker have fake information about the date their page was created or their birthday.

Propose your skills. When I started blogging, one of my goals was to put my professional CV in form of written evidence of my skills. In fact, Mr. James contacted me because he read one of my articles on fundraising for African NGO. Proposing your skills through blogging could take time but it makes an expert in your area. Relationships built from such channel are everlasting.

Attract them. Finally, you can start a good relationship online by attractively positioning yourself on different social media. By attracting them, I mean to do something that is relevant enough for someone to say: “I would like to connect with him” or “I would like to see his profile”. The best way is to decide to share something valuable on social media like “tips for success”, “ways for breakthrough” or motivational messages.

I encourage you to start a blog and write interesting topics for professionals and you will surely attract some friends. I did it and in less than one year, I grew my contacts to 1263 on Facebook and 208 on LinkedIn; this is without the numerous groups I am belong to.

If you found this article interesting, share it in your network. You can also write to let me know how you built true professional relationships online.

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I consider Blogging one of the most ecxiting activity I have ever started. It became more interesting when I discover how to write a blook ( an E-Book) from my blog posts. last year I published 2 e-books from my various content: the first one is on my experience as a communications trainer and the second one is on sustainable development goals.

What a joy to share it with my audience. The happiest part of the story is that I did it less than one year after starting my blog. There are many advantages to publish an e-book from your articles:

The first advantage is the satisfaction you achieved something valuable. An e-book is the numerical version of a book. All books are valuable contents; mostly when those books are writen with the desire to produce a change in the readers. You could now number yourself among book authors and writers. It’s a step in your professional and social promotion.

A consequence of this is that you add a value to your writing skills. Before, you were just creating contents on your favorites trips; or maybe sharing your views to change challenging situations around you. Now you look more like an experts in your area.

The second advantage is that when you write article with the idea of making an ebook, you become more consistent in writing and you develop the habit to go deeper in an area or a topic.

The last advantage is that you make money with your writings. It’s true that you need to put more effort in marketing (sorry for me, I did not have time to do it) to sell your ideas but the price you estimate your content makes you dream of infinite possibilities to make money with your articles.

Now that you know some benefits of moving from blogging to blooking, let me share with you how do you do it. This year, I already published an E-book on social media. I am not the writer of all the articles but these are 2 simple advices I gave to the writer when I started publishing he’s article on seed4future.com:

Choose a domain that you master. Blogging is about sharing your ideas, opinions or expertise on a topic,challenge or a trend. Your readers will feel more confident if your contents are accurate , create values and provides solutions to their needs. They will be more confident in you when they realize you master what you say by adding facts, data and concrete exemple to support your views.

I decided to use storytelling to write my articles. My two e-books are actually a combination of true story driven from my language and communications training or from development issues I observed around me.

Write on the same topic for a consistent period. One of the first article I read that motivated me to continue writing was writen by Glenn. I found it on twitter and the only thing I remember from the article is “write for the next 10 years”. It sinked into my subconscious and moved me forward day after day; later on I noticed that my e-books were just the fruits of the effort to write consistently.

For nine consecutive months, I thrive to create a content on development and six months I did the same on language learning. It was not easy because I had to write simultaneaously on both topics at certain time. The more I wrote, the more I mastered the subjects.

You can use a source like https://www.blookup.com/en/ (for English writers) or https://www.blookup.com/fr/ (for French writers) to create your ebooks. This amazing tool help you create your e-book with the PDF version of your articles or by simply uploading your content directly from your website (provided your blog uses wordpress, blogger/blogpost, canalblog,overblog, blog spirit, tumblr, skyrock, Haut et Fort) or your account on Facebook or Instagram. It takes you less than an hour to create you e-book!

I would be glad to receive your ebook in my email the coming days. send it to me at seed.42f@gmail.com

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In 2013 I had one of my best coaching experience on running and physical exercises with Derrick; He was my communications trainer colleague for 2 years and he had years of experiences ahead of me in the field. He was also a martial art expert and we used to run in the morning. I was always astonished by his day to day faithfulness to run every morning and I would join him from time to time.

“Always add an extra mile every time you go out to run,” he told me one morning we were running. He said that because the day before we ran and reached a point and I taught that we will stop at the same point. It was painful but we did it and went back home tired but happy. I did not know he was giving me one of the key tools for success in every sports activity but also in any other aspect of life.

4 years later, I can still remember Derrick’s advice every time I go out for running or jogging. The “extra-mile” could take different forms like changing the running route to a longer one, adding 5 more minutes to my running time, adding 1 more push up, running faster than the day before, running more days some weeks, etc… The idea behind the “extra-mile” is to always try to go beyond my limits each time I run and exercise.

I learned it through jogging more than anywhere before. I tried to figure out what if I apply the “extra mile” approach to other areas of my life like writing, reading, listening to a podcast or study a book. I imagine if, in a job or a work, I decide to be better or do better each day I am on the field. It become a goal to achieve and with time and practice, it become a habit. I found that people who practice a sport with the mindset of doing a little more each time they train themselves become real champions.

When I decide to write an article every day for 21 days, I first taught I will write only 30 minutes a day. But when I applied the “extra-mile” thinking, I find myself writing more than an hour now. Sometimes after writing, I edit the content or start writing another article the same day.

Someday, I feel like I have nothing to write…No words are flowing…no inspiration…The worse is when I spent more than an hour to write an article and I wrote less than 300 words. That’s when I realized my limitations. But at the same time, I discovered that I could choose to go beyond those limits. I feel the same thing every time I go out for jogging but I keep moving forward: That’s where I learned the “extra mile” mindset.

If you easily quit what you are passionate about, or you started a project and stopped on the way, I encourage you to set a regular jogging program. If you need support because you are lonely or need a booster, join a sports group, team up with somebody or participate in gym activities. Do everything to start or go back to a physical activity to prepare your mind to start and continue working on your goals.