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11 Things I said during summer school

As some of you know, I just finished teaching summer school and my kids do credit recovery online and it’s real boring but sometimes they make me say the darndest things. They should make a tv show about it.

1. While students are watching a video on a phone of a mentally unstable woman freaking out on someone:

“Put the crazy lady away.”

2. Whistling, part one:

“Cease and desist on the whistling.”

3. Whistling, part two:

me: “Cease and desist on the whistling”

student: “What does that mean?”

me: “Look it up on Google”

student: “You want me to ‘cease to exist???!’

4. That one time I taught about transitive verbs via this example: “Bob Marley smoked the weed.”

5. (students are chatting and having a grand old time)

“Just a friendly reminder, if you keep socializing I will have to split you up and put you outside of the room because we are out of seats in here, and I’m the only one who knows where the basement is…”

There is no basement. The looks on their faces were worth it, though.

6. Me trying to teach the subjunctive mood:

“You know Beyonce, right?”

Student nods.

“You know her song ‘If I were a boy,” right?”

Students says, “I don’t really like or listen to her.”

I plead, “But you know the song.”

“No, I don’t know the song.”

“What are you IMMUNE to pop culture or something? Nobody’s immune!”

I don’t think she got it.

7. “You’re not allowed to sleep on the table.”

8. “You’re not allowed to sleep on the floor.”

10. Trying to help a student with a question and getting it wrong and questioning my validity and then blaming it on the computer program:

“Well that was just a stupid question.”

11. As a calculator part soars across the room:

“Did you just LAUNCH that calculator INTO the computer cart?!?”

11. A student’s phone rings and it is a Ludacris (the rapper, not the adjective) ring-tone:

“Oh I’m not even mad! Have you guys seen the Luigi death-stare youtube video?! No one?!”

I proceed to show this and it has absolutely no relevance to Ludacris or what we were learning because that particular song was too inappropriate to share with them, but hey, we needed a brain break:

I realize about .0978267 percent of these are the ‘preferred’ responses to students, and I really am more in control that it seems here. Also I’m sarcastic within reason and would never do things like put kids in basements! I had a good rapport with them and we joked around to make sitting in a room together for four hours bearable.