I was surprised last night to read this NY Times article – Tales of Army Discord Show Tiananmen in a New Light. It relates new information about a high-ranking general who refused to attack the protesters saying, “I’d rather be beheaded than be a criminal in the eyes of history.” In fact, there were other officers too who expressed dissent.

The whole article is definitely worth reading, but the thing that has been sticking with me is that the party leaders did not seem to stop and consider his dissent. Instead, as the NYTimes reports:

Although General Xu was soon arrested, his defiance sent shudders through the party establishment, fueling speculation of a military revolt and heightening the leadership’s belief that the student-led protests were nothing less than a mortal threat to the Communist Party.

It strikes me because it the general’s dissent may have had the unintended effect of causing the government to crackdown even more strongly. All this because of fear: fear of losing power, of losing control, What kind of power is driven by fear?

I think about this also because I am reading Andy Crouch’s book Playing God: Redeeming the Gift of Powerfor a discussion next week. It has prompted all sorts of thoughts about power and the use and misuse of power in our world. But closer to home, it has forced me to think about my own relationship with power in my own spheres of influence. You and I don’t control armies, but each of us has our own complex relationship to power. We need to own how we use our power.

I am even more convinced that I can’t let fear of losing power or control be the driver of my decisions. Lord, have mercy.