Write it down – In working with erroneous negative self-judgments, it is a great idea to actually write them down. Writing them down on paper separates them from the emotion and also creates a pause so you can reflect on the meaning of whether this judgment is even accurate or not. We also can come to a place where we don’t have to ruminate about it because we already have it down.

Ask the question – Is this just a well worn habit of my mind to think this way? Do the facts of the situation support this? Are there alternative thoughts here?

Question your mood – Be aware of how you are feeling. Ask yourself, if I were feeling well right now, would I see this the same way? This gets at the heart of thoughts being just transient mental events and not facts. This helps the thought not be quite as sticky.

Question the source – Where did I originally get this message? Sometimes we can look back to our earliest relationships or traumas and notice that where having this thought and attitude helped us cope as children, it is an old coping habit that is no longer effective or helpful right now. Gaining this perspective can support us in letting go of it.

Make a list of what you like about yourself – This may be a difficult one, but after each thought you write down, take a moment with it and notice what it feels like to even write it down. Expand this list by taking anothe perspective. Ask what your friends would say about you? If you have difficulty with this, ask them in person, by phone, email or text.

Create a file – Therese Borchard writes about how her therapist suggested she create a self-esteem file. Each time people say something positive about you, put it in the file. Make it a practice to look at this file daily. To add some mindfulness to it, notice your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that arise while writing in the file and also while re-reading it.

Lovingkindness – Many people wish they were well, happy, healthy, free from fear, free from the torment of that inner critic. So add to this list what you wish for yourself and say it like this, “May I be healthy, may I be happy, may I be free from fear, may I be free from my harsh inner critic.” After reading the list over each day, pause, and then intentionally repeat these words and aspirations of lovingkindness to yourself.

I love the self-esteem file, Therese. This is something worth starting that allows us to look back over the years and see how much we truly are worth. I commend you, Therese, so much on overcoming depression. You are a strong vessel full of power and determination. Keep your head up my friend!
Jarrod Clarkhttp://www.OptimisticJourney.com

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http://budurl.com/ynfr Megan Zuniga

Battling with self-esteem issues is not easy. I know, coz I struggle with them everyday. And you need all the help you can get. It’s amazing that you have friends to look out for you and help you when you needed the most. I’ve been trying this new thing http://sn.im/vlw0g too. And it helps a little bit each day.

http://YESTERDAY Therese

AMONG OTHER FINE ATTRIBUTES,YOU ARE A WRITER. AND YOUR WRITING IS DOING GOOD WORK. BE GLAD. I LOVE THE POCKET THERAPIST.IT IS COMFORTING ME THROUGH TX FOR LYMES DISEASE. DID I REALLY NEED TO EXPERIENCE DOXYCYCLINE WITH LITHIUM? SO IT GOES. LIFE ECT AND ALL THIS ICKINESS LACED WITH ISOLATION,DEPRESSION,BASICALLY LIFE PASSING BY WHILE STUCK IN A SICKNESS JAIL,IT WILL PASS.RIGHT?EVEN THOUGH WE ‘VE NEVER MET I KNOW YOU GET IT.AND I’M THANKFUL FOR YOUR SUCCESS ‘AND THAT YOU ARE. BLESSINGS DEAR GIRL,THERESE

Crystal

Thank you for this article Therese. I am now going to start my own self esteem file. I think it is a great idea and will help me a lot. You are such an inspiration to me. Keep up your great work and I will be praying for you. God bless you! Crystal

SuzanneWA

I don’t know if I’m suffering from a “self-esteem” issue or not, but I haven’t been “feeling myself” this week. I have no “get-up-and-go,” I feel stultified as if the dreaded “Black Dog” is biting at my heels. I can fake feeling fine, but when I’m by myself, the slowing down of my mind is evident. I’ve taken all the meds I can, and nothing seems to be getting me out of this dull routine. I guess it goes back to “I can weather a crisis OK, but when it’s over, I fall apart.” I just sold my condo, and moved into a basement apartment for financial reasons, and still have boxes to unpack. It seems like an insurmountable task, so I let it go. I’d rather be doing my e-mails and walking my cats on their leash. I’m not isolating myself, as I supply a ride every other day to a friend whoose car has “died.” I went to Group yesterday – but I didn’t feel at all worthy to offer an opinion to someone else’s problem. I have “problems” of my own! I AM fighting depression, but, at this point, don’t feel like it’s winning. I read my “self-esteem file” and visit with my good friends, who always tell me how well I’m doing. I hope this is just a “passing fancy,” and will leave as quickly as it came. Your points are VERY valid, and I will re-read them and save them in my file for further use. Thank you, Therese, for bringing out this self-examination of my psyche; I thought I was all alone…

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