Luis Scola

As my good friends at Mr. Show previously theorized, 24 was thought to be the highest number. “What about 30?!” And then NBA scorers were pulling exactly what happens in that skit. “What about 31?” “What about 32?” “I gotta ask, what about 33!” Then Gilbert Arenas was like, “if people keep scoring like this, I’m gonna have to shoot em with Crittenton’s .45!” It wasn’t necessarily that many guys going off, just a few you wouldn’t have guessed. I’m trying to pick the most off the rails 30+ point night, so I think I’ll go with Alec Burks, who just looked awful in the two games before last night. 7-25 his past two outings, but goes 12-17 last night for career-highs in both points with 31 and dimes at 7. Added three boards and four steals with two treys for good measure. Burks has always looked like a good athlete out there, but never like a guy who could take over like that. I think a good debate is Burks or Terrence Ross. I’ll lean Ross, but very close, I just think Burks is too inconsistent. Here’s what else went down last night in hoops:

Coming into this year, the fantasy freaks of the world had two guys on their radar as far as Phoenix Suns centers. Would it be one-time fantasy darling and all-the-time Polish Hammer Marcin Gortat, or lottery pick Alex Len, who could either end up as a modern-day Jon Koncak or a white Dwight Howard.

How about neither? Gortat was traded to the Washington Cheese Wiz in a very odd trade where the Suns ended up with a protected first-round pick and a frozen-in-CarboniteEmeka Okafor – which really isn’t that different than Emeka Okafor – while the ex-Bullets got Gortat and three guys they waived.

Len, meanwhile, is injured, and won’t be ready even when he’s ready, if that makes any sense.

And all of this is perfectly fine in the retirement capital of the world.

There comes a time in every man’s life when he must admit defeat. Like when your girlfriend demands to know why you can’t just remember to put the toilet seat down. You can try to explain to her that the house is haunted and you would never be so inconsiderate. From experience I must say its not as convincing as it sounds in your head. The only correct response is to hang your head in shame and say, “I’m sorry”. Older bench players like Mo Williams and Nate Robinson are my toilet seats. I can’t seem to put them down and I will undoubtedly hang my head in shame when I do finally drop them. Why not skip that uncomfortable feeling all together? Why not take an unknown player who may blossom into a fantasy star? Here are a couple of bigs that I believe will outperform players like Omer Asik (63% owned), Samuel Dalembert (52% owned), and Luis Scola (42% owned).

The period of free agency continues to shape the fantasy basketball-scape with fresh meat on terrible teams and players signing with contenders to be relegated to bench duty. With baseball in full swing and the NFL getting half of the ESPN air time no matter what time of year it is, a lot of NBA moves have been made under the radar. Look for every division to get a team-by-team breakdown and some early fantasy thoughts on the new faces in new places:

The period of free agency continues to shape the fantasy basketball-scape with fresh meat on terrible teams and players signing with contenders to be relegated to bench duty. With baseball in full swing and the NFL getting half of the ESPN air time no matter what time of year it is, a lot of NBA moves have been made under the radar. Look for every division to get a team-by-team breakdown and some early fantasy thoughts on the new faces in new places:

If you’ve gotten started with fantasy baseball, you know it’s been yet another season of horrendous closing across the MLB. I bet Kobe Bryant could close effectively in the MLB.

Just think about it. He has such a will to win that it made Shaq hate him, he’s got consistent mechanics, never gets hurt and would be a tall presence on the mound. OK, so I have no idea if he can throw a fastball, but right now I’d take him in my Brewers bullpen that looks more like a joke than Joaquin Phoenix’s career as a rapper.

Kobe just went bonkers against the Hornets in the fourth quarter, scoring 23 of his 30 in the last 12 minutes. He just couldn’t miss, hitting a couple threes, jumpers in people’s faces, and was diming when there was openings. With the Jazz losing, the Lakers might actually get the 8th seed. Huzzah! Kobe has been tremendous since the whole ankle injury soap opera, not missing a beat with a bone spur in his foot actually playing more minutes to keep it loose. He’s not only closing games for the Lakers, he’s closing the season for fantasy owners.

Fantasy Championship! Some leagues have just wrapped up their finals and hopefully you’ve got a nice Shiva for your mantleplace. But in other leagues the championship has just begun or it’s the last week-and-a-half for roto.

With a lot of big name players (ahem! Dwyane Wade ahem!) not getting on the court, there’s going to be a ton of new fringe guys getting minutes. It’s been since Saturday since we’ve had a round-up, so let’s look at the weekend’s action (no games yesterday with the NCAA final):

It was yet another nail in the proverbial coffin for the Lakers last night, as they lost yet again to the Milwaukee Bucks and Kobe Bryant left the arena with another injury, an apparent bone spur in his foot that flared up. He was spotted on one crutch Tiny Tim style. If the Lakers make the playoffs, Kobe will have to declare, “God bless us, everyone!”

For fantasy owners, this is a devastating injury, because as much as Kobe will want to play through it, we saw him be ineffective after the ankle sprain and I bet misses a few games right in your playoff run. You definitely can’t drop him either, so depth through the playoffs will be brought to the forefront. Hopefully you can brave the injury like Maximus in Gladiator and still put it in the throat of the weirdly effeminate Joakin Phoenix. Wait, that sounds more like Caligula than Gladiator…

There is a very interesting situation brewing in Toronto, this time involving the guards instead of the big men. Kyle Lowry is still coming off the bench, last night playing 22 minutes, taking 2 shots (missing both from downtown), and throwing in 2 rebounds, 9 assists and 2 steals.

Jared Dudley did right in Phoenix last night, scoring 22 points and adding 4 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 steals with 2 3pm in 43 minutes. The 22 points were a season high, and after starting the season looking kind of like a Dud-ley, the past two games he’s looked sort of Stud-ley (hey that’s the headline!).