When will Daesh fuck off and die?

I was asked this the other day, and I think we’d all like to know the answer. We certainly have a part in the answer to it.

According to Daesh, they’re busy establishing a caliphate and are ‘at war’ with us.

But listen people: as long as we buy into their ‘at war’ theory, we are engaging with them on the level they want. We are, in effect, encouraging them to continue their terror campaign.

What we need to do is breathe, step back and say:

‘Yes, you’re a pain in the arse.

No we aren’t at war with you because you can’t go to war with a stateless entity.’

Every time politicians use the word ‘war’ in their speeches, every time a paper publishes ‘war’ in their headlines and articles, every time a so-called terrorism expert repeats the word, we encourage and legitimise these bastards.

Please, please, civilised world. Be aware that the language you use has consequences.

Remember, they’re thinking ‘nation of Islam.’ We need to redefine them in a way that delegitimises this. Here are some suggestions:

International group of wankers

Tinkerers with weapons and ideology

Dangerous lunatics

Band of homicidal and suicidal brothers

Tossers’ collective

Armed bullies group

Boys with small dicks circle

Idiots at large

Tribe of the seriously misguided

Pissers in the wind

Men who like dressing up and killing people

Apostate humans

Scum-baggy bastards’ brigade

The smell from a sewer

The living dead.

Likewise, what I don’t want to read in newspapers and hear on TV news, is reporters saying idiot stuff like: ‘this could be the new normal.’

Why would you say that?

We didn’t see the need to linguistically will the IRA on ourselves during the Troubles, nor should we indulge ourselves with language like this now. Of course this isn’t the new normal; Daesh didn’t exist 20 years ago and in 20 years’ time will be a faint, awful memory.

We need to remember that Daesh’s terror cannot win against our democratic statehood. Our real and enduring freedoms lie in our behaviours – both personal and constitutional. These are the freedoms we must protect at all costs, that we must fight for.

However, we must make sure that our language, free as we are to use it, is honed to our purpose: obliterating an enemy, with whom we are not at war.