Friday, 6 May 2011

reject something you don't understand.

There are many selves. we contain many parts. when you observe urself, you are many things. I mean yeah, you have a social self, work self, love self, sometimes you are happy and sometimes you are sad. when you begin to understand the workings of these parts then you begin to have a sense of who you are.

Knowing yourself is not like some abstract painting. it involves seeing yourself as a whole, being honest with yourself, talk truth about your feelings and not just using RATIONALIZATIONS to explain your thoughts as always AUTOMATICALLY RIGHT. at some point, rationalization or justification is stupid. I'm telling this, not seeing myself as perfectly right, I even never close to the word, but sometimes when you express yourself, people often criticize. Why? Because they themselves know nothing about :)

Lets just take this as a lesson :

When X starts talking to me and I seem to be saying something that makes no sense. Naturally, X thinks "whattheeehackkkk" or "Darn, the girl is fucking weird" or if X has known me for a while "i have no idea what you're talking about" and as aresult, X will start explaining his/her point of view or just stop listening to me altogether. After all, X would think I'm just talking gibberish, right?

In these cases, its so easy to dismiss a person's input, and we often keep our thinking patterns and make the other person feel offended about how they feel. WELL, it should not be this way. I learnt that. If a person tells you how he/she feels, pay close attention to what she/ he is going to say, it doesnt cost a fortune to u right? or does it harm you, no? yes? so, just listen. If you would like to share your point of view, probably you are welcomed to do so, but do not criticize. its an ugly thing. even if you were to put make-ups to make yourself look pretty, with all that has been criticized about, you still look fuglyyy with the attitude.

If you start to criticize, or being judgemental towards people, and do not question if in the future, you'll be going through the same thing. It really doesnt allow you to grow in any way. you knw why? cause you are doomed to have the same thought process foreverrrrrr!

life becomes mundane when you thought you knew everything. because you reject other people's perspectives and there is nothing for you to learn. and the world starts to become a pretty predictable and boring place. and you get stuck in the same thought pattern spirals over and over again, and HATING ANYTHING THAT'S DIFFERENT OF DOESNT MEASURE UP TO OUR EXPECTATIONS. cliche.

Try to resist the urge to reject other people's point of view outright and try to understand their perspectives. after all, our purpose is to expand as a person kan? just start by holding back our thoughts of disagreement and try to really listen what other person is saying. just keep askin him/her questions until we understand perfectly what he/she is trying to talk and why he/she thinks the way he/she does. its simple.

at some point, ull get to learn about the person and the context from which he or she is speaking. and we can actually relate our experiences to the context then the things the person does will make sense, at least. if it makes sense, then its easy to go deeper and make a better decision. right? IF WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE PERSON IS SAYING, HOW CAN WE DISAGREE WITH IT??!

Let the person feel the feeling of being understood. and it will let him/her to much more open to trying your perspective. once you understand and feel understood, what is there not to like?

when it comes down to it, you could make good bonds. ;)
as long as the person is not impacting negatively your existence in any significant way, why not just accept the person and be okay with it? besides, who knws she/he might help you down the line

we are only here for a short time, do u really want to spend the time hating someone?