well, honestly, that is not what i truly feel, i mean, about having another baby alasannya bukan sebab Nuha. tapi sebenarnya, lebih kepada diri sendiri. i dont know how others do, tapi i kinda withdraw from being wife. hidup sehari2 ni, sejak ada Nuha, i am more of being a mom rather than a wife. sometimes, rasa sedih jugak, tapi tak tahu macam mana nak luahkan and to whom. before ada Nuha, i promised myself to love and care of my husband more than i love and care of my baby, tapi it's other way round. i dont feel like i am married to someone. entah, tak tahu kenapa. i wonder how moms outside can still be a very loving wife despite of anak2 yang ramai dan semakin bertambah, because i am not feeling it. should i be worried? jealous okay tengok mak2 yang still manja2 dengan husband walaupun anak2 dah ramai.

yes, i think i should muhasabah myself more kan? well, i hope everything will be okay soon..