A proponent of matronly wisdom and a combatant of hooligans and foolishness. Offering an eclectic collection of illustrated commentary and finding the humor in politics, religion, academics and other social constructs.

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Monday, December 31, 2012

Curling

So, you’re watching the Winter Olympics. (Well not me, but I’m sure some people do.) And athletes are jumping off huge ramps, riding little sleds at fatal speeds and a bunch of guys are skating around, punching each other in the face while occasionally smacking a little puck. It’s all very exciting.

You’ve just made a huge bunch of popcorn, learned fascinating trivia about the speed skaters and you are getting settled in to yell for your favorites. But NO! You are denied! The network will forgo the scheduled event in favor of curling.

Per Wikipedia, “Curling is a sport in which players slide stones across a sheet of ice towards a target area which is segmented into four rings.” Curling’s nickname is Chess On Ice and it is related to bowling and shuffle board.

Chess, bowling and shuffle board! All on ice! That’s about as exciting as bowling under water. Forget the ice, how about cliff diving chess or running with the bulls shuffle board? I’ll bet there would be a big spectator draw for those sports.

“If I were smart, I could figure out curling. If I were even smarter, I could figure out why people would actually watch other people doing it. I can't even figure out the object of the game. I just don't get it.” Bob Schieffer

“If curling were easy, they'd call it hockey.”

“We'll explain the appeal of curling to you if you explain the appeal of the National Rifle Association to us.” Andy Barrie, Canadians to Americans

“Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now.” Charles Barkley