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Top 10 things I learned from Oprah Winfrey and Bishop T.D. Jakes at today’s ‘Lifeclass’ in Dallas

Bishop T.D. Jakes (left) and Oprah Winfrey talk to the crowd at an "Oprah's Life Class" taping during MegaFest Thursday, August 29, 2013 at the American Airlines Center in Dallas.

Goddess of all broadcast media Oprah Winfrey and local super-pastor Bishop T.D. Jakes thrilled an audience of about 15,000 at American Airlines Center this morning, as they taped two shows for the Oprah’s Lifeclass series that runs on OWN. The tapings were part of Jakes’ MegaFest, which runs through Saturday in Dallas. The Lifeclass subjects were fatherlessness in America, and relationships with men and boys in general. The shows are scheduled to Sept. 1 and 8 on OWN.

Oprah Winfrey take applause from the crowd before an "Oprah's Life Class" taping during MegaFest Thursday, August 29, 2013 at the American Airlines Center in Dallas.

Here are the Top 10 things I learned (mostly from Jakes, to whom Oprah pretty much gave over the stage; ever the gracious hostess, she served as cheerleader and reporter of “Ah-ha!” moments.

1) Jakes: “Every (fatherless) child has a hole in his or her soul in the shape of their father. … Fill that void with something positive. Begin by giving what you didn’t get.” Parenting doesn’t come with a textbook; “It’s like dancing on a moving floor.” And sometimes we’re so afraid of doing it wrong that we don’t do it at all. But you must do it.

2) Jakes: Real fathers “make deposits in you, from which you can withdraw for the rest of your life.” When a foundation of memories is missing because a father has been absent, he must “create a floor for your son’s love to stand on. … You must court your sons. … Courting is letting him know what it’s like to be you. … Give him something (about you) to brag about.”

3) Jakes: Little girls are taught how to be moms, with role modeling and through playing house and with dolls, but in single-parent households, especially (where the single parent is most often the mother), little boys don’t learn how to be dads. Jakes: “We don’t play with little dolls like girls do, well, most of us.” Oprah, laughing: “That’s another class.”

4) Oprah: “You’ve gotta be able to say ‘I was wrong.’ ” Jakes: “You can be wrong and still be in the game.” In other words, if you’ve been an absentee father who needs to do better, as long as you’re breathing, it’s not too late.

5) Oprah: “How do you break the generational chain” of men and boys not being able to communicate with one another? Jakes: “You can’t break what you don’t talk about. Men don’t talk easily. And when we do talk, let us finish! … Don’t use what I told you against me, because you will teach me to never open my mouth again.”

6) Don’t expect instantaneous change. Jakes: “You’ve spent 15 years telling us not to cry, to be a man, and then you want us to show our feelings. Give us a minute to do that.”

7) Oprah: “When men hear, ‘We need to communicate,’ they’re like, ‘Oh, Lord,” this is going to be as bad as going to the dentist. Jakes: What men really need to know is, “If you saw my failures, would you still love me? … If you would love your man like you love your son, we’d talk to you. … Unconditional love.”

8) Jakes; Some bitter moms use their children as “a switch to beat their father.” But have you ever noticed that the switch gets beat up, too?

9) Jakes: It’s the little things that count — teaching your kid to make a bow-tie, an impromptu fishing trip. Kids want to be able to say “Daddy showed me how to do this.”

Finally, a tip for everyone; it’s the motto of Jakes’ Potters House church:

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