Bystander Syndrome, alive and well for abused children

Children are powerless and they need adults to step in. They deserve that chance to live a life without emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Over 70% of children that die from physical abuse are under the age of 2. Let’s make it uncomfortable for the abusers, not the children and the whistleblowers.

The recent story of the Turpin family in Lake Perris, and their 13 emaciated and abused children ripped a hole in my heart. I am sure many people feel the same. Having children myself, I don’t see how someone could mistreat small dependent human beings like these children were treated. In my past life, I worked in juvenile in a police department and witnessed all too often the cruelty inflicted on dependent babies and children who want nothing more than their parents love. I have never forgotten it a day of my life. Children deserve nothing less than their basic human needs met. Food, shelter, clothing, medical care, cleanliness, and human touch and interaction.

Beyond that, they deserve education, and love and direction in life.

There is not one of us in the world that did not enter as a child, and those of us who flourished in loving families, more often than not pass that on to the next generation. Those who are broken themselves due to any number of reasons, more often break others. Drugs, alcohol, victims of abuse, psychological problems and sometimes just evil can all spell disaster for our most vulnerable of human beings, our children.

The thing the really eats at my psyche, is that in so very many of these cases, people saw things, people heard things, people knew things, and did nothing. Are we so insulated and afraid to butt in, or to be wrong that we would close our eyes to the well-being of a child? How do mothers of tiny babies choose their man over their children and allow that man to beat them, shake them, break their bones, and sexually abuse them. Someone knows, and someone can help.

I am not talking about the parent in the market with a child in meltdown, giving them a swat on the behind. I am talking about the children in such horrific life situations and conditions that is shocks the consciousness.

I listen every day to the women of the #metoo movement talk about a man who did something inappropriate 8 years ago, 15 years ago, etc, yet tiny helpless children suffer at the hands of abusive adults every day, and it’s too uncomfortable to talk about. Let’s make it uncomfortable for the abusers, not the children and the whistleblowers.

I want people, and especially women, to take that movement to a whole new place. Let’s #save the children, let’s #saysomething. Let’s call attention to an evil in the world that needs to be stopped, and call out the judges that do nothing to punish child abusers. If you know it, sense it, feel it, see it, you must DO something. Children are powerless and they need adults to step in. They deserve that chance to live a life without emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Over 70% of children that die from physical abuse are under the age of 2. Think of that horrible statistic. UNDER 2.

I believe that in many cases someone knows something that could stop some of these abuses and help some children, and prevent the next generation from the ills of the last generation.

Let’s light a match, that starts a flame, that starts people thinking about our children, and make a difference in a child’s life. Relatives and neighbors saw things untoward about the Turpins; too many things. No one said a thing, and 13 lives are forever damaged. No one has the right to steal a child’s life, and it’s time for society to be accountable. If thousands of women can march and take down powerful moguls over sexual misbehavior, what can we all do to save a child from a life of pain and suffering and abuse? Say something, drop a dime, do anything but turn your head and not get involved. They have no one else, there is no someone else. If we make child abuse so unacceptable rather than a dirty little secret, if we make is so punishing to the abuser, a difference can be made. And to any parent who stands by while another abuses their child, the punishment should be the same. We are too politically correct, too much not wanting to get involved. The bystander syndrome is alive and well. What if it were you, that small child, would you hope and pray for someone to have the courage to help? Be that person.

Linda Martinelli is the first sole female franchise owner in Proforma to qualify for the Million Dollar Club and reach Multi-Million Dollar Club status. She was also Proforma’s first female development coach and in 2005, was the first female elected by her business peers to the elite Owners Advisory Council. In 2011, Linda was named one of ASI’s Top 10 Women to Watch and earned Proforma’s inaugural Women’s Leadership Award in 2012.