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Na-Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na-Na: BATWOMAN!!!

Submitted by Bill Ponath on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 17:39

Act One, Scene One:

Announcer (An): “It’s another beautiful day in Gotham, D.C. . . . . . But wait!! At 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue there is an evil meeting taking place” The camera opens with a landscape view of Washington, D.C. and then zeroes in on the White House.

Act One, Scene Two in the Oval Office:

Harry the Reidler (HR): “Riddle me this: What is grossly obese despite that there are 537 doctors who force it on a diet? Hee-hee-hee-hee!!”

Two-FaceBarack Obama (BO): . . . . (A short pause while the monitor screen warms up) . . . “Well, that depends on whether I am applying my right-faced promise of having the most open and transparent administration in history or whether I have turned to my left cheek and am having the most closed and secretive Presidency to cover up my political paybacks and destruction of America’s economy.”

TheJoker Biden (JB): “Hoo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha: As the Vice President whose name is known by the lowest percentage of average citizens in U.S. history and who gets my foot in my mouth more often than it is in my shoe; even I can answer that riddle. The grossly obese thing is the Federal Budget and the doctors are the 435 members of the U.S. House, 100 members of the U.S. Senate, the President, and myself.

Catwoman Pelosi (NP): “I can vouch for that. As Speaker I had my own 747 and flew it back-and-forth across our country two or three times a week during my entire term. That burned billions of taxpayer dollars for no valid reason. Now we have to deal with that super-hero John Boehner, aka the Green Hornet (JB) who is willing to travel by COACH!!! If we let these stinking tea-party based Republicans gain any more power they . . . . they . . . . they may actually balance the budget!!!”

Catwoman Clinton (HC) (Believe me; there are plenty of catwomen in D.C.): “I have more bad news: Kato is even more powerful in assisting the Green Hornet!”

BO: “Surely you can’t be serious!”

HC: “I am absolutely serious! . . . And don’t call me Shirley! . . . . Kato is now the Cato Institute (www.cato.org) ; an unbiased organization that performs in-depth research and analysis into critical issues facing the United States of America. Cato provided a great deal of the statistics used by Bill Ponath in “Verdict for America” (www.verdictforamerica.com) .”

Batwoman Palin (SP): “Bruce McCain had to retire eventually and now I am in charge! He served us well in the military and later in the Senate, but now I have to carry the mantle!!”

PB: “Why is the Bat-Cave now in the middle of the Sonoran Desert?”

SP: “You know very well by your own work that Arizona is now the recognized leader of conservatism and patriotism in the U.S. We have a duty to serve America at the forefront of every battle; whether it be immigration, taxation, education, or protecting the lives of all Americans.”

The Bat-Phone Starts Flashing

SP: “Yes Commisioner Pearce (RP) “

RP: “Batwoman! There is a terrible conference of the entire underworld under way at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. They are all there: Two-Face, Two Catwomen, Mr. Freeze, The Joker, The Reidler, The Penguin; they are all ganging up on us for a final assault on America. If Two-Face is re-elected, we are doomed!!”

Batwoman kneels to pray. She then responds “We need all of the help we can get. I am calling for backup!”

PB: “Holy outnumbered! Who can you call?”

SP: “I may be Batwoman, but now I need to call . . . . . Michele Bachwomann (MB)”

PB: “Holy teamwork; but aren’t the two of you rivals? How can there be more than one Batwoman?”

SP: “We are never rivals when our nation is in jeopardy like it is today. We will work together to save America. To the Bat Cave!”

Act Three, Scene One in Commissioner Pearce’s Office

RP: “This is a terrible situation Batwoman. What do you think they are trying to do by joining together?”

SP: “That is an easy question to answer because it has been the same answer since the beginning of the liberal agenda; long before Two-Face Obama and his friends Bill Ayers, Chris Matthews, and the rest of the liberal media. They are trying to trick America’s voters into believing that high spending and high taxes will be for their personal benefit. They are preying upon the hard-working middle-class who don’t have the time to learn what is really best for the nation and best for each individual. Two-Face BO recently said that he wants raise the taxes on the rich to cause them to share with the less-privileged. The problem is that it is totally false and will only serve to cause further financial disaster.”

PB: “Holy mass confusion! How do these criminals get away with it?”

SP: “It is all based upon the fact that the free market system is the best possible environment for economic prosperity. You can understand it in a simple step-by-step process:

Out of 308 million Americans, less than half file tax returns. Of those; less than half actually pay any taxes. Less than 10% pay more than 90% of all taxes. Most of the support for America is paid by hard-working individuals who run small businesses and by corporations who employ a huge portion of America’s work force.

Businesses run according to their financial data. They depend on balance sheets and profit-and-loss statements.

When taxes go up it is absolutely necessary for all businesses to adjust their expenses in order to achieve the best possible profit margin. This means that almost all businesses must let employees go in order to be able to continue to afford to be in business.

The rise in tax rates does two things: it forces businesses to reduce the amount of commerce and it causes actual tax income to the government to go down.

The net result of raising taxes is Higher Unemployment, Lower government income, and a lower standard of living. It also pushes our government further into debt, thereby making the problem that much harder to cure.

PB: “Holy Bankruptcy Court! Is there any way this problem can be defeated?

SP: “The United States’ credit rating has already been trashed. Our only hope now is to do all that we can to educate the United States Citizens of the facts and admonish Two-Face, the Reidler, Catwoman, and all of their cohorts whenever they lie through their teeth to the American public. In all of the history of the United States and every other industrialized nation; every time taxes were lowered it caused economic prosperity and every time taxes were raised it caused recession; or even a depression. The United States recovered from the worst depression in its history when Presidents Harding and Coolidge championed lowering the tax rates and lowering government spending. The second worst depression in the history of the United States began with the stock market crash of 1929. President Roosevelt responded with higher taxes and spending; and the depression never ended until World War II because only then was there enough demand for employment by the U.S. military.

Karl Marx is the father of progressive taxation as a means to cripple a free-market economy. Russia itself was suffering a terrible recession until it implemented a flat tax system in 2001. In three years the Russian economy doubled! It only happened because Russia chose to adopt a fair system of taxation rather than one that punishes people for being successful.”

PB: “Holy Kremlin! Does that mean that the United States has been the victim of communism masked as socialism for more than 100 years?”

SP: “Yes; and I know for a fact that our nation can recover incredibly fast with a few simple steps outlined in Bill Ponath’s ‘Verdict for America’:

Get rid of the U.S. Department of Education and allow local governments to manage schools.

Offer Education Vouchers of $6,000 per year for parents to choose their children’s schools. Those schools will include parochial and private institutions. This will save all our governments approximately 10% of all taxation and provide children with the best possible education available in a free market.

Recall Obama-Care and provide tax-incentives for employer-sponsored health-care programs. Protect doctors from frivolous lawsuits that cost each American thousands of dollars each year. Promote Nurse Practitioners as diversions for Emergency Care in hospitals; especially for the uninsured.

Provide incentives for those on government health-care as a necessity to be frugal in their use of the system. These adjustments will save approximately $500 Billion in the Federal Budget and more in the States’ and Municipalities’ Budgets.

Tap into the United States’ oil reserves to save us from a gross trade-deficit and to stabilize the insane price of oil. A simple statement from President Obama to open development will immediately cause fuel prices to drop to approximately $2.50 per gallon of regular gas.

Stop entitlements that lure illegal aliens into the United States.

Go through the Federal and State, County and Municipal Budgets line-by-line and eliminate all wasteful and redundant spending. Bill Ponath outlined a budget in “Verdict for America” that will cut Federal spending almost in half. This will boost the economy, drastically reduce unemployment, and provide a surplus that will enable America to begin paying back its debt.

But we still need to learn more about Two Face’s plans. We will have to penetrate his wall of security . . . . .

PB: “Holy cocktail party! Just put on a tux like Michaele and Tareq Salahi did and you are in like flint!”

SP: “Maybe . . . . to the Bat Mobile!”

Act Four, Scene One in the White House driveway

SP: “Stay calm . . . . I think I know this security guard . . . .”

Security Guard Howard Dean (HD): “Not only are we going to New Hampshire . . . And then we are going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House, Yeeeeeeaaaaargh! How can I help you?”

Obewan Palin: “You don’t really need to see any papers . . . .”

HD: “I don’t need any papers.”

Obewan Palin: “You will let us pass . . . . “

HD: “These people are fine. Let them through.”

PB: “Holy airhead! We are inside but now what?”

The camera pans away and we see the Batmobile parked in Michelle Obama’s reserved space. She is out shopping . . . . .

Act Four, Scene Two: In the oval office Mr. Obama is sound asleep.

PB: “Holy hangovers; what good fortune.”

SP: “We have to use this opportunity fast . . . . . I am going to use the Vulcan Mind Probe.”

PB: “Holy plagiarism; you’ve tapped into a half dozen superheroes from Marvel Comics, Warner Brothers, and every other publisher. You dragged Star Wars and the Democratic National Convention into it; and now you want to use Star Trek? Can you afford the royalties?”

SP: “Thank you Boy Wonder. I was being sucked deeper and deeper into the pit of liberalism. The mind is a terrible thing to waste. But we now see what the Evil Empire’s agenda is: Deny what is true, lie to the public, and spend our nation into bankruptcy to allow a socialist totalitarian state to emerge. Oddly enough; the father of the totalitarian communist state Karl Marx is the man who led Russia; but now Russia is thriving on an economic system that America has always stood for. All we need to do is teach our American citizens that the free market with everyone treated equally is the only way we can recover to be what we have been for 200 years: the world’s most powerful nation based upon freedom and the free market. That is our job; to inform the public.”