Hey, Air Travelers: You Are Extremely Disgusting People

The Wall Street Journal has an article that we could barely finish about absolutely disgusting behavior that air travelers are exhibiting on airplanes. The article details the foul, rude and unsanitary things that you all are doing out of some sort of misguided aggression towards the airline. We have news for you, pig pen, you’re only hurting yourselves… or, more specifically, the next guy to sit in that seat.

From the WSJ:

Patrick Kerr, who like Mr. Cuzzone participated in a FlyerTalk.com online discussion among frequent travelers of disgusting things people do aboard airplanes, was flying from Reno, Nev., to Dallas when a nearby passenger put a wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth and spit juice into a plastic cup throughout the flight.

As passengers left the plane, Mr. Kerr, a technology manager in St. Louis, said, the man made one last deposit then tucked the cup deep into the seat pocket.

“I said, ‘Hey, you left that.’ And he said, ‘It’s OK. They’ll get it,’ ” said Mr. Kerr, who then alerted a flight attendant.

Flight attendants often say that the biggest messes they have to deal with are dirty diapers left in seat-back pockets or worse, handed to them while they are serving beverages and snacks. “Would you hand that off to your server at a restaurant?” said Corey Caldwell, a spokeswoman for the Association of Flight Attendants, a union representing workers at several big airlines. “It’s amazing how people treat the inside of aircraft cabins as opposed to other public spaces.”

My god, were you people raised by wolves? Clean up after yourselves.

“Putting a melting chocolate bar in a seatback is a way of punishing the airline for shoddy treatment,” said Robert Bor, a clinical aviation psychologist in London.

We disagree. Evil behavior such as this is actually a way to punish nice people who just happen to be on the airplane after you, and who would really rather not be covered in what appears to be baby vomit, the possible origin of which will plague them for days afterward.

Can you think of some more constructive ways to punish an airline for poor service? Department of Transportation complaint? Nasty letter to your mutual fund manager about excessive airline CEO pay? Amtrak?