Not that she has one! Of course she doesn’t. But looking at how young Christian Gomez chose to pose for his, I’m starting to wonder if there needs to be a class for that, too.

The 23-year-old Gomez allegedly chopped his mother’s head off with an ax “on New Year’s Eve because she asked him to put some boxes away,” the Daily News reported last week.

You will be completely unsurprised to hear that he lives in Florida, because that is where nearly all weird crimes occur these days. Seriously, think of the weirdest crime that ever happened wherever you live. In Tampa, that’s Tuesday. I’m serious.

Or maybe not? Maybe they took it before he was ready? (That’s what happened with my driver’s license photo, in which I look like a fat version of Norman Bates’ mom, the one from the movie, not the TV show.) Maybe he was just trying to relax his jaw and they hit the shutter?

All I know is that this is one more thing we all need to devote some thought to — what face do we want to present when we get busted? Do we want to be the Hot Felon, or “toothy” over there? (and don’t give me that “I’m never going to get arrested” bullshit. Have you seen The Fugitive? If It can happen to Harrison Ford, it can happen to anyone!) Better plan now, just in case.