Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Once Upon a Time, Season 5, Episode 21 Last Rites

Well… that was damn depressing. Once Upon a Time what happened to the fairy tales?! Happily Ever
After, remember? What is this? Everyone is dead and everyone is sad! Bad fairy
tales! Bad!

So everyone is back in Storybrooke and Zelena is all
happy, she has her daughter and her love of her life (the evil death god) and now
a home where they can be happy.

Except team good guy has also come back and they’re quick
to tell her that Hades is still naughty/bad/awful and totally tried to trap
them in the underworld. Zelena your boyfriend is the Worst

Of course, lovestruck Zelena isn’t willing to believe
that and Hades does his very very best to convince her that Team Goodguy is
plotting against them and totally wants to ruin everything. While doing so he
keeps talking about the awesome kingdom they will have once he smites everyone
with his magical Olympian Crystal. He kind of misreads Zelena who would be
quite happy with a cottage and a happy life and it doesn’t even have to be in
Storybrooke in sight of Regina’s awesome interior design. She doesn’t really
want a kingdom, she just wants to be happy. He’s very bad at reading her.

Meanwhile Emma is raging around deciding they have to
kill Hades to save Storybrooke while everyone calls her totally emotional and
how this won’t bring Killian back and revenge is bad, ‘kay. Look, I get that
the Charmings are soggier than a snowman in June (outside of Canada) and Regina’s
right, Emma isn’t exactly using a whole lot of sense at the moment, but can we
agree that killing the evil manipulative death god is probably a good idea be
it for revenge or protecting the town or for happy dappy funsies?

What would have helped if she did some research – no-one
knows how to kill Hades

Time for Killian, aided by King Arthur (who Hades kills
for… reasons? I actually have no idea why he does this). They need to find Hade’s
weakness (and Arthur needs to find some serious redemption given the givens) which
means questing through the underworld looking for the storybook in between
duelling various spirits and ghosties and saving each other dramatically but
rather easily.

With the Storybook they can tell Emma the secret to
killing Hades – the Olympian crystal he just re-created.

Ok, someone needs to tell me why he recreated the
crystal? He’s a god, with the possible exception of Rumplestiltskin there’s no
real threat to him here. Why create the one weapon that can actually kill him?
I need some explanation between narrative convenience for why he’d recreate the
crystal that kills people without even giving them an afterlife?

Anyway, Emma goes raging off without a plan which gets
little except telling Zelena about the crystal being lethal to Hades – and managing
to tell Zelena about the betrayal

Robin Hood and Regina sneak into the mayor’s house where
Hades and Zelena are to get his daughter back – and on the way have some ALMOSTexcellent conversations about how Regina constantly trusting Robin’s daughter
with Zelena, constantly trusting Zelena for the both of them and constantly defending
Zelena isn’t ok. It comes close to addressing a lot of what I’ve said about
Robin being Zelena’s primary victim and how Regina putting that aside isn’t ok…
except it’s all about the child: trusting Zelena with Robin’s child. Not
about the fact Zelena raped him.

They reach Hades, grab the baby: and he uses the Crystal
to try and kill Regina… and Robin throws himself in front of the bolt, dying to
save Zelena

Face with this, Regina reaches out to her sister and
shows her what love is – willing to sacrifice for the other, willing to give
things up for them: epitomised by Robin willing to give up everything for
Regina. Zelena sees this and compares it with Hades – who is still talking
about his kingdom, about having it all and she realises he would never
sacrifice for her. Using the Crystal, Zelena stabs Hades… and the god is dead
and Zelena also loses her true love.

In the underworld, with Hades defeated, Killian has
finished his unfinished business… he moves on. Arthur doesn’t – he realises he
was prophesised to save a broken kingdom and the Underworld definitely counts.

That leaves Emma, Regina and Zelena all without their
true loves, all devastated and with several funerals to attend…. Yes, it’s
exactly as depressing as it sounds. The collective grief and excellent acting really
sells it

And then… we have Zeus.

Zeus meets Killian in the afterlife and decides to send
him back because killing his brother actually earns you a favour. (Remember
Robin is unresurrectable… conveniently).

I suppose if anyone gets to use a Deus Ex then, yes, it’s
Zeus. And I’m certainly not against having Killian around – but damn if it isn’t
convenient, lazy writing. And it did completely shatter the emotional impact of
the ending (and completely overshadow the tragedy) and it’s, of course, Emma’s
true love gets the hail Mary pass.