Depression and gender

Depression is more common among women than among men. Biological, life cycle, hormonal, and psychosocial factors that women experience may be linked to women's higher depression rate. Researchers have shown that hormones directly affect the brain chemistry that controls emotions and mood. For example, women are especially vulnerable to developing postpartum depression after giving birth, when hormonal and physical changes and the new responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming.

Some women may also have a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) called premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). PMDD is associated with the hormonal changes that typically occur around ovulation and before menstruation begins.

During the transition into menopause, some women experience an increased risk for depression. In addition, osteoporosis—bone thinning or loss—may be associated with depression. Scientists are exploring all of these potential connections and how the cyclical rise and fall of estrogen and other hormones may affect a woman's brain chemistry.

Finally, many women face the additional stresses of work and home responsibilities, caring for children and aging parents, abuse, poverty, and relationship strains. It is still unclear, though, why some women faced with enormous challenges develop depression, while others with similar challenges do not.

How do men experience depression?

Men often experience depression differently than women. While women with depression are more likely to have feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and excessive guilt, men are more likely to be very tired, irritable, lose interest in once-pleasurable activities, and have difficulty sleeping.

Men may be more likely than women to turn to alcohol or drugs when they are depressed. They also may become frustrated, discouraged, irritable, angry, and sometimes abusive. Some men throw themselves into their work to avoid talking about their depression with family or friends, or behave recklessly. And although more women attempt suicide, many more men die by suicide in the United States.

The site was created to give the public information to help them understand mental health and addiction issues and to assist people in making better informed decisions about their life and personal choices.

www.haveigotaproblem.com was created and is run by 'Advising Communities’, which is a UK registered charity (Charity No. 1061055)

Web Resources

Quotes

"My husband feels like he has ruined my life, is extremely emotionally dependent on me, has trouble getting out of bed everyday, cries a lot, lost all confidence in himself, thinks he's a terrible father."

Esme

"Life became impossible, to extent that making a cup of tea and stringing a sentence together properly were achievements."

Kathy

"I had extreme loss of appetite and lost a lot of weight. I would cry very easily at the most inappropriate times. I felt as though I lost my total sense of being."

Laura

"At first I was feeling sad all the time, even though I had no reason to be. Then the sadness turned into anger, and I started having fights with my family and friends."

Rob

"My sister once said: "I think you're afraid to be happy, because every time you're happy, something bad happens." She was right."

Lee

"Depression is like a never ending sad story, where you're the main character."

Peter Wang

"While Depression has affected my life in so many negative ways, I also feel that it has given me a greater appreciation for every good thing."

"These words were told to me by a psychologist: "Depression is anger directed inward.""

David

"Being in a relationship with someone experiening depression can be extremely hard on your emotions. When people are depressed they tend to push away the very things they actually need."

Mark

"I thought if he could find something he really enjoys to take his mind off things, that could help, but the problem with depression is you don't really enjoy anything."

Anonymous

"I have the feeling that nothing is really worth doing. A friend asked me "what would you like to do, if you could choose freely", and I came up with...nothing."

Anonymous

"Sometimes i feel like the whole world is against me"

Anonymous

"I've been absolutely miserable for years and years. Recently started taking new anti-depressants and--knock on wood--they actually seem to be working."

Finster

"Don't believe for one second that things can't change - they can. When you feel so low, the only way is up."

Anonymous

"I had a terrible day today and started telling myself, "You just need to suck it up. Stop acting like a loser. You're so weak." It's that sort of thinking that keeps me from getting better, and I need to start putting myself first."

Rachel

"For someone who is really depressed just getting through the day is a massive achievement. Anything we do on top of it should make us really proud of ourselves."

Bud

"I know there is always that little voice in my head saying "stop thinking that way and you won’t feel depressed, dummy!""

Anonymous

"The hard part is, being so long depressed; it's easy to forget who the real person is."

Ruby

"Accept that the depression or anxiety is there for now, stop thinking about it and learn to function as best you can even with the worst depression or anxiety that you have ever felt. And take hope in the knowledge that this will get better."

Thomas

"For me, depression does go away, but it can come back. Some of us are just prone to it; even when I am happy I can sense the depression waiting in the wings."

John

"Depression is not our fault and it is a disease, I have suffered for years, but do believe we can help ourselves on the road to recovery, life needs to be lived, and we need to try and challenge the negative thoughts we get..."

Jack

"There are millions of people with depression but no one talks about it and I find that to be very sad."

Nigel

"I have just decided to live my life and not care about what other people think. In my heart I know that they are probably dealing with something too, everyone has their own issues."

Joseph

"I can’t be depressed… I’m a GUY! I don’t have the time to deal with this mood. So, I swallow the pain and move on"

Chato

"It’s thought that SAD sufferers are affected by shorter daylight hours in the winter. They produce higher melatonin, causing lethargy and symptoms of depression."

Dr Roger Papadopoulous

"If you have a tendency towards SAD, outdoor exercise will be have a double benefit, because you’ll gain some daylight"

Dr Roger Papadopoulous

"It wasn’t until I was 26 that I had my first “nervous breakdown” and was diagnosed with chronic depression. I was lucky."

Anonymous

"I wake up to the sound of silence. I look around at my life. I want to die and I know how I’m going to do it."

Chato B Stewart

"As guys, we were taught to suck it up and just deal with it and move on. I did that for years and not only did I suffer, but so did the ones I love"

Chato B Stewart

"The obvious signs to look out for include a low mood and unhappiness, with tearfulness or irritability that may not be related to anything specific"

Dr Navina Evans

"Also watch out for reactions when something sad happens. For instance, when someone dies it's normal for everyone in the family to feel distressed. But if you feel your child's reaction is too extreme or has gone on for too long, that could also be a sign"

Dr Navina Evans

"All children and young people need to feel respected, valued and loved."

Dr Navina Evans

"I couldn't get out of bed. I just stayed in my room for days on end"

Stephanie

"I got a lot of "just cheer up!" and "walk it off!" but it never worked. People just didn't understand"

Matthew

"I started playing rugby and the combination of exercise and feeling like I was part of a team really helped."

Phil

"I contemplated suicide and self harm a lot. I just felt like there was nobody I could speak to."

Pat

"I had to look for books in the self-help section of the library or bookstore. I felt ashamed"

Anonymous

"Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression."

Dodie

"Through our willingness to help others we can learn to be happy rather than depressed."

Laurell

"The reason we cry is because sometimes words are just not enough to tell our life story."

Victor

"No one ever said life was easy. You may be so depressed, you just sit in the corner and cry for hours. But you just have to remember, LIFE GOES ON."

Anonymous

"If you are depressed, You are living in the past. If you are anxious, You are living in the future. If you are at peace, You are living in the present."

Tips & Hints

Getting support from people

Together we are stronger. Receiving the support you need is crucial to lifting you from the fog of depression and keeping it at bay. Ma...

Together we are stronger. Receiving the support you need is crucial to lifting you from the fog of depression and keeping it at bay. Maintaining a balanced perspective and sustaining the effort required to beat depression can be difficult on your own. The very nature of depression makes it difficult to reach out for help, but isolation and loneliness only makes depression worse. So maintaining relationships with those close to you, and retaining social interaction with others, is very important.

Doing exercise

Exercise is a powerful tool for dealing with depression. It may be the last think you feel like doing when you’re depressed. But, stu...

Exercise is a powerful tool for dealing with depression. It may be the last think you feel like doing when you’re depressed. But, studies show that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication when it comes to increasing energy levels and decreasing feelings of fatigue.

Positive Thinking

Those with a more positive outlook tend to deal more easily with daily challenges, even minor ones such as not being able to find a par...

Those with a more positive outlook tend to deal more easily with daily challenges, even minor ones such as not being able to find a parking space. Consider how you might react in the same situation. Even if you have to pretend, try to adopt their optimism and perseverance in the face of difficulty.

Take One Day at a Time

Don't become overwhelmed with what you have to do tomorrow or next week. Focus on one task at a time, and have friends, family members ...

Don't become overwhelmed with what you have to do tomorrow or next week. Focus on one task at a time, and have friends, family members or housekeepers do mundane tasks like cleaning or walking the dog. Free yourself to do things you enjoy like reading or drawing.

Be more active

Don’t withdraw from life. Socialising can improve your mood. Keeping in touch with friends and family means you have someone to talk ...

Don’t withdraw from life. Socialising can improve your mood. Keeping in touch with friends and family means you have someone to talk to when you feel low. Take up some form of exercise. There's evidence that exercise can help lift your mood. If you haven’t exercised for a while, start gently by walking for 20 minutes every day. Find out more about exercise for depression.

Face your fears

Don’t avoid the things you find difficult. When people feel low or anxious, they sometimes avoid talking to other people. Some people...

Don’t avoid the things you find difficult. When people feel low or anxious, they sometimes avoid talking to other people. Some people can lose their confidence about driving or travelling. If this starts to happen, facing up to these situations will help them become easier.

Don’t drink too much alcohol

For some people, alcohol can become a problem. You may drink more than usual as a way of coping with or hiding your emotions, or just t...

For some people, alcohol can become a problem. You may drink more than usual as a way of coping with or hiding your emotions, or just to fill time. But alcohol won’t help you solve your problems. It could also make you feel more depressed.

Have a routine

When people feel down, they can get into poor sleep patterns, staying up late and sleeping during the day. Try to get up at your normal...

When people feel down, they can get into poor sleep patterns, staying up late and sleeping during the day. Try to get up at your normal time and stick to your routine as much as possible. Not having a routine can affect your eating. You may stop cooking regular meals, eat snacks throughout the day instead or miss breakfast because you’re still in bed.

Fix your personal problems

Work on your personal problems, using small steps to make sure you avoid becoming overwhelmed. Work on only one or two simple things at...

Work on your personal problems, using small steps to make sure you avoid becoming overwhelmed. Work on only one or two simple things at a time, breaking large or complex problems into goals you can easily accomplish. Use rewards, friends, family, and support groups. What negative or stressful situations exist in your life? What can you do about them? Don’t give up and allow your problems to continue. Brainstorm solutions and ask other people for ideas. Some depressed people reject all the possible solutions, finding reasons to eliminate each one as unacceptable, unpleasant, or unworkable. Don’t let negative thought habits interfere with problem solving. Keep an open mind to all possible solutions.

Stop bad behaviour

When you complain, cry, talk of sad feelings, or discuss problems, your friends and loved ones probably respond with sympathy and tende...

When you complain, cry, talk of sad feelings, or discuss problems, your friends and loved ones probably respond with sympathy and tender loving care. Unfortunately, these loving responses reward and help maintain the depressive behaviors. Some friends or family even take over chores for a depressed person who stays in bed or asks for help. Again, this rewards the passive or dependent behavior. Perhaps you reward yourself when you drown in negative thoughts or self-pity. Many depressed people eat, spend money excessively, abuse addictive substances, or have sex without love to feel better. Eliminate these and any other subtle rewards for depressive behaviour.

Control your thinking

Another thing is to consider removing the word “depressed” from your vocabulary. Instead, think of these feelings as low moods. The...

Another thing is to consider removing the word “depressed” from your vocabulary. Instead, think of these feelings as low moods. The term “depression” has so much baggage attached to it – by thinking of your feelings as a “low mood” you are more easily able to appreciate the fact that there are also high moods. Low moods seem more controllable.

Beat procrastination

The symptoms that we experience when depressed, such as fatigue and hopelessness, make it easy to fall into a habit of putting things o...

The symptoms that we experience when depressed, such as fatigue and hopelessness, make it easy to fall into a habit of putting things off until we feel better. When important deadlines draw near, however, procrastination creates anxiety and guilt that further feeds our depression. It's a vicious cycle, but it can be stopped by learning how to break through the habit of procrastination.

Learn how to forgive

Holding on to anger about past events can contribute to depression. Forgiveness can help us heal and move forward, but the way we often...

Holding on to anger about past events can contribute to depression. Forgiveness can help us heal and move forward, but the way we often define forgiveness may prevent us from taking this important step. Do we really have to forget what happened and act like things are okay? To enjoy the benefits of forgiveness, however, we don't have to take it that far.

Get a handle on your household chores

When we feel depressed it becomes difficult to keep up with daily chores such as housework because we just feel too tired and unmotivat...

When we feel depressed it becomes difficult to keep up with daily chores such as housework because we just feel too tired and unmotivated to work. Unfortunately, a dirty home only magnifies our feelings of worthlessness. The good news, however, is that by taking a few simple steps we can regain control of the mess and help ourselves feel better.

Happy People

They may not be helping but they are acting out of some level of concern for you and your welfare, even if it feels like you’re being...

They may not be helping but they are acting out of some level of concern for you and your welfare, even if it feels like you’re being blamed for your disease. However, anybody who insists that the depression is your own fault and if you just try harder you can fix it, can be summarily ignored.

See a Doctor

Depression is not just feeling a bit down, it is an actual disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disord...

Depression is not just feeling a bit down, it is an actual disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Speak to a professional and see what you can do to remedy the situation.

Hobbies

Did you previously enjoy painting? Pick up the paintbrushes again! Always wanted to learn how to ride a horse? Sign up for some lessons...

Did you previously enjoy painting? Pick up the paintbrushes again! Always wanted to learn how to ride a horse? Sign up for some lessons. It can seem daunting leaving the house and participating in this way, but hobbies, particularly organised ones, can give you a structured reason to be out in society, meeting people and learning new things.

Sunlight

Spend as much time as you can in view of a window, or better yet, outside. Sunlight has been shown to affect serotonin levels in the br...

Spend as much time as you can in view of a window, or better yet, outside. Sunlight has been shown to affect serotonin levels in the brain and therefore your mood, and over the long term, this could help to ease your depression.

Look good, feel good

You probably want to sit around in trackies or gym shorts but if you’re going outside, make a bit of an effort – you won’t regret...

You probably want to sit around in trackies or gym shorts but if you’re going outside, make a bit of an effort – you won’t regret it. Chaps, suit up. Ladies… also suit up if you want to. In no time you’ll feel like you’ve got your swagger back.

Emotional self-help

Many people suffering from depression need to find ways to better manage stress and balance their emotions. Building emotional skills c...

Many people suffering from depression need to find ways to better manage stress and balance their emotions. Building emotional skills can give you the ability to cope and bounce back from adversity, trauma, and loss.

Reduce stress at home and at work

Ask for help with some of the stressful things in your life. See if your friends or family will take care of some of the daily hassles,...

Ask for help with some of the stressful things in your life. See if your friends or family will take care of some of the daily hassles, like housework. If your job is stressing you out, figure out ways to scale back some of your duties.

Do not give up

You may feel hopeless right now. You may feel like you are never going to get better. But feeling that way is a symptom of your conditi...

You may feel hopeless right now. You may feel like you are never going to get better. But feeling that way is a symptom of your condition. If you give yourself some time and allow your treatment to take effect, you will feel better again.

Be open to new ideas

Your therapist may have suggestions that sound strange. He or she may push you to do things that feel awkward or uncomfortable. But try...

Your therapist may have suggestions that sound strange. He or she may push you to do things that feel awkward or uncomfortable. But try to stay open. Give new approaches a try. You may find them more helpful than you expected.

Your strengths

Remember your past accomplishments and build yourself up. What made you successful before? What are your strengths? Frequently, this ex...

Remember your past accomplishments and build yourself up. What made you successful before? What are your strengths? Frequently, this exercise will build self confidence, help you figure out what went wrong, and generate ideas for success in the future.