Dating Rules from Loveologist Guide to Flirting and Dating

Rule 1 Talk to Everyone

Do not be embarrassed to let people know you are single. Be proud of it! You don’t have to slither around in sack-cloth-and-ashes. Let everybody know that you are looking to meet that special someone and who knows? One of your friends, relatives or acquaintances might match you up with your everlasting love.

Rule 2: You Are in Control

You are in control of whom you decide to date and whether you see that person again. Yet all single people tend to think the other person holds all the cards. Dating is a wide open field these days. If two people exchange business cards or phone numbers, it is not etched in stone who should call whom first. If you are a woman waiting for the man to call, spring a surprise by calling him first. At least you will find out if the interest is mutual. And if you do take the initiative and get turned down, praise yourself for having made the effort to test the waters, then move on.

Dating is not a crap shoot. You make the choice as to whom you want to date and when. You don’t have to go out with everyone you meet. If you just don’t like someone well enough to date that person, tell the individual up front you are not interested in a relationship but you appreciate his or her interest in you. Never overlook the possibility of a friendship or business connection; you never know what can develop down the road.

Rule 3: Everything is Negotiable

Just because you may want to fall in love with someone who has the same passions as you, don’t restrict yourself too much. Remember that everything is negotiable in life and in love.

If you meet someone you like who doesn’t share your lifestyle, be open to learning from each other. Compromises can be reached if you care enough to explore the possibilities. One thing I have learned is that couples can be very creative together when they want to find solutions to the problems that crop up.

Just because you want to fall in love with someone who has a passion for boating and you meet someone who has a passion for horse riding doesn’t mean you can’t spend one weekend on the ocean and the next on a ranch. You can create a win-win situation. Similarly, if he’s a steak and potatoes person, and you’re a vegetarian, be open to exploring and learning from each other. Compromises can always be reached if you care enough to explore the possibilities.

Rule 4: Don’t turn anything down before it is offered

Don’t rate a person on your first meeting. And don’t say to yourself, “I won’t see him/her again because ________ !” Even if your instincts are right, the relationship could still blossom or you could meet your everlasting love through this person. I cannot stress this rule enough. In the rat race of life, we jump to conclusions about people without really knowing them. I have seen more potentially good relationships bite the dust before they even got off the ground.

Don’t assume you know everything about a person on that first meeting, either.

Even if you don’t like what you see or hear on that first date, attune yourself to what you do like and see if more is there. Ebony is a middle-aged woman who has been married twice and “hurt too many times” as she puts it. But she keeps herself in the dating game because she strongly believes in the power of love. “I met three men I liked in one month,” Ebony said. “One of them had a lot to offer me, he was good to me, and I really liked him. But he was so boring. And he’s a big man, and I just don’t care for large men. After a couple of dates, I knew I could not be with him. My friends encouraged me to give him more of a chance. I’m glad I got to know him better anyway. We give business referrals to each other; that seems to be what we have most in common. I know people who are good clients for him, and vice versa. We’re helping each other out. And you know what? He’s growing on me a little more now that I’ve known him longer. We still go out on occasion.”