We get it: nobody wants to hear ads. But the Never Rad Miscellany brings you the best products from the best advertisers. Every ad we take helps us keep the podcast running!

(Audribble is not a real product. Do not attempt to purchase Audribble. Audribble is written by Conrad Miszuk, and features the voices of Jamie Haas)

Sound by Conrad Miszuk.

NARRATOR: It’s
the goddamned future.

SFX
01: Laser blasts. Dirt scattering.

NARRATOR: Between
scavenging the wreckage of what used to be a quaint neighborhood for
medicine and canned food and fighting off the hordes of, you know,
them, it can be kind of hard to fit in all the reading you
would like to do.

SFX
02: Monster groaning sounds. More gunfire.

NARRATOR: Who
even has time to read books when you have to pay with blood for every
single calorie you consume. That’s why there’s Aud-dribble. It’s
a headset connected to a monthly subscription service that will
whisper the New York Times’ best seller list to you while you take
cover and hide from them. Just because they are around
doesn’t mean you can’t stay up to date on all the hottest literature
and nonfiction titles.

SFX
03: Fast heartbeat.

NARRATOR: It
even has a built in pulse detector that will silence the audio when
you’re in full on panic mode. Use coupon code Never7 to get your
first month for free. You probably won’t need more than that anyway.
Not with them around. We recommend downloading The Secret.
It’s one of our favorites.

SFX
04: An explosion.

NARRATOR: It’s
the goddamned future. Get an audio book. Aud-dribble. It’s like
having a book dripped on your ear.

You never learned to read anyway.

CREDITS: This has been a production of the Never Rad Miscellany. The Never Rad Miscellany is Produced and Directed by Conrad Miszuk. The sound effects are mixed and performed by Cody Hazelle. The credits are read by Matt Braman. The Aud-Dribble interstitial is written by Conrad Miszuk and performed by Jamie Haas, with sound by Conrad Miszuk. If you’re going to be in town, check out NeverRad.com for future show information. Get wonderful benefits by becoming a subscription donor at NeverRad.com/patreon.