Things you shouldn’t say to INTJs

The INTJ is the patient visionary with a clear view of how the future should look and will work with quiet and logical determination to make it happen. INTJs love intellectual challenges and will be stimulated by the abstract and the complex. The INTJs love the complex, the new and untested. Facts and figures bore them, and they will be looking to see the ‘bigger picture,’ planning for the future that they create. INTJs make decisions based on rational logic, rather than emotion and they will be quite measured in their approach to other people. They generally have strong opinions, are independent of thoughts and action and have no need to verbalise them. That’s why the members of a group feel neglected or like outsiders. This can also make the INTJs seem impenetrable to others who can totally misunderstand them. They often leave a void and people often fill this with their own assumptions and predilections, rarely positive ones. So one person may say “he’s not interested,” another may say “she doesn’t like me,” and another “she is so full of herself”. They don’t know -or don’t understand- that we prefere talking about meaningful topics than the stupid things of a normal boring life. We’re not interested about the new style, the weather, how to wear the new pair of jeans or other people’s life. I mean, these informations are quite useless. We’re higly introverted so, the first thing you should never say to INTJs is: ”Go out, c’mon. Why don’t we make some friends? It will be funny!”NO. NEVER.

We don’t like socializing, talking about your relationships or discussing about you kissed a boy during a party, unless you’re my best friend, then I can listen to you. I know. you would say ”it’s the same thing” and, trust me, it’s not.

Second thing : DON’T say ” Go out from your head, live the moment”.

I can’t simply go out from my mind and live the moment. I have to think about the consequences of my actions, right? And fantasizing is funny. They call me excessively cautious but you don’t really know what I can do.

Third thing: ” Don’t be so pessimistic, good things are going to happen!”

No, I’m not pessimistic, I’m realistic, I know what could happen if you continue to act like this. Stop, please. You can’t wait for these good things, you have to create them.

Fourth thing: ” You will have an husband so learn how to cook. You will be a mother for sure! I want a nephew”.

I decide what to do in my future, I decide to marry someone, I decide to have children, you can’t control my life or my body, sincerely, you’re no one. I don’t believe in traditions, they’re useless and we don’t need them. Who should say I have to do this? Who decides for me? No tradition or religion can force us to live a life that mabe we don’t want to live. I’m not saying I will never marry (who knows?) but I don’t want to live a normal life. I want to succeed, to be someone, not just the simple housewife (no offence). Being an INTJ woman in this world is so hard. (The 0,9%).

Fifth thing: ”Pray, have faith. You can’t control your life, HE can”

Who?? An illusion?? A lot of INTJs are religious but this doesn’t apply to me. I can control my life, even if it’s not entirely mine, because we are part of an enviroment and everything is connected but NOT because someone in the sky decides for me. Why should I pray? Why can’t I just act like I want to?

Sixth thing: ” Be polite, be kind, don’t offend people. You should lie sometimes to mantain the peace.”

No, sorry. The truth hasn’t to remain hidden. I don’t fake my love for you, I just can’t. Who cares about peace when you live in a lie.

Studying is important, I need the things I study because everything could be useful. Studying a language is important, the new pair of jeans could wait. I could improve myself and be good in a lot of field while you remain in your ignorance.

WHAT????????? Why should I be irrational? I keep my feelings for me and to express them I should really love you. I’m not unemotional, I’m just highly private and skeptical and I hate hugs. There’s a big difference between being asocial and antisocial, do your researches.

Ninth thing: ‘‘Oh god are you okay??? Are you sad????? She/ He’s probably mad!”or ”Why is she/he starring at me with that face? She’s creepy..”

No, it’s just my face. I’m just thinking.

Tenth thing: ”You can’t find solutions so easily! We need proofs!”

Do you really need to lose yourself in stupid accurate facts and data? That’s why I’m mostly right like everytime.

I won’t change my identity to fit in, never and probably people will never deal with it but I really don’t care.

Post navigation

*still laughing* I love the INTJ faces…! *death stare* etc. Hilarious and so true! And that asocial is an interesting concept…never thought of it that way…people are always saying “you are so good with people” so it was always a paradox that I was antisocial… I went through this and was like “check, check, check”. And that part about the evil unicorn, and rarely opening up to people…well, you get the idea. Thanks for sharing this post.

You described INTJ to a tee. My father used to describe me as antisocial. I couldn’t understand that. I felt I was deliberately very social. I made an effort. I do sometimes have difficulty relating to people, but once I do, I’m a friend for life.

As a fellow INTJ, I agree with you ABSOLUTELY. When I get invites to “hang out” or to “celebrate,” I immediately think of every reason to decline. What interested me the most was the difference between asocial and antisocial!