Spring is in the air and many begin to think about cleaning our homes. For some of us this might be a more difficult task especially if we like to cling onto items that hold sentimental meaning for us. I am one such person, but five years ago when my mother-in-law died and I was tasked with cleaning out her home. I had an epiphany. I realized that at death what remains behind are these physical bits and pieces of our lives that might hold significant meaning for us, but might not hold a lot of meaning for those who are clearing out our things. My mother-in-law was neat and tidy. She did not hang on to things and the things she had were lovely. I miss her dearly. Choosing what to keep, what to share with those she loved, and what needed to be donated or sold was exhausting and at times overwhelming.

Not long after her house sold, I had to pack up our home in Canada for a move to the US. I was ready to let go of so much, but did not know how. I got professional help from a professional organizer. I am so glad I did. Things were donated, recycled, thrown away in a dumpster or kept. How I loved that dumpster! On the heels of having cleaned out my mother-in-law’s home, I had a new perspective and was able to see the material things in a new light. I loved the feeling of letting go to things. It felt light and freeing.

It has been five years and I know it is time for another purge. Many things in our house need a new home, a place where those things can be loved and appreciated. I am looking towards this spring with a renewed feeling of letting go. We talk of carbon footprints, but we also need to talk about our stuff. If we do not need something, maybe someone else does. If something no longer functions for us, we need to let it go. Someday, someone will be going through our things and wondering what to do with it. Maybe we need to be kind to them and let go of some stuff before they have to. In the end it really is a kind thing to do.

Caroline,
Your post is so timely and oh so real as six months post-unexpected death of my mom, I am literally purging my own personal belongings: old yearbooks, photos, mementos that seemed important to remember at the time; now just a stone around moving forward. Choosing no spouse or children and having family I would never want to have my sacred possessions since they never accepted me for daring to live outside their expected vanilla box, anything left behind will indeed be a burden for friends or acquaintances. I feel not until a person has walked through the process of sorting another's worldly goods and all the emotions attached to them can she fully appreciate the gift of purging one's own life of material burden. Thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you for sharing your story, Caroline. We have been speaking on a regular basis with one lady who sadly lost her husband several months ago. She still cannot bear to clear his half of the wardrobe and still puts his shoes on to take the rubbish out each evening. She still feels him in the house, still talks to him in the car and absolutely does not feel ready to remove his belongings from the house. We spoke to her at length at the funeral service and have kept in touch ever since. We know and she knows that she'll be ready at some point but, when it is giving her comfort, who are we to tell her otherwise?

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Caroline Vuyadinov

I graduated from St. Vladamir's Orthodox Theological Seminary in Crestwood, New York with a Master of Divinity. I trained as a chaplain following graduation and worked with a wide variety of people.

When I moved to Canada, I began work in a women's halfway house in Hamilton, Ontario which worked with women in conflict with the law on a federal level. I became the program manager and loved working alongside the women, creating their plans for their reintegration back to the community. I also worked as a liaison with the parole board, parole officers and other community service providers.

Upon my return to the United States, I worked in the Death Care Industry as a Family Service Counselor, which lead me to become a green burial advocate. I co-founded Midwest Green Burial Society with Juliann Salinas. I speak to community groups and have developed practical seminars for a variety of audiences. I have been interviewed on a national podcast and was featured on a WGN spot dealing with green burial.