I know, I hate blogs too!

First, lessons in language need more slutty Asian chicks with graffiti on them, so here:
I’ve been obsessed with quotation marks lately. As I’ve already noted here on this website, people use quotes to degrade me when they write letters of hatred by calling me

Here’s the problem: Somebody sent me a link yesterday. The link took me to this website and when I saw what was there I was like, “Holy shit.” And then I proceeded to think about the link for the rest of the night. And then I had fucked up dreams about

I finished the California International Marathon in 3 hours 29 minutes yesterday. I was going to post some pictures and video but I don’t want to get up and I can’t find the little camera connector thingy. Plus, my cats are asleep and they are pinning down my

Google execs issued a statement saying they have nothing to do with the disturbing suggestions when you type a query into the search engine. Try it. When you start to type something into a Google search, you’ll find some fucked up, perverted or racist answer. The

I just got punched in the face by a gigantic black man.
What happened was I was getting dinner from Dos Coyotes. It’s Southwestern food, which is like Mexican food for white people. There’s a lot of sauce and everything is kind of drippy. Anyway, I left the

When I was 12, life was much simpler. People wore jean jackets and parachute pants; they dressed in bright colors and had mustaches that weren’t ironic. I didn’t know what the word “gay” meant. I thought Boy George was just really fancy.
I liked to

My cat pisses in the house at least 3 times a day. He might have a bladder infection, but I think he just does it because he’s a dick. He has a litter box, which he shits in, but he doesn’t use it for piss. Maybe he likes the tinkling sound it makes when his