June 2010 Knottie Advice

June 2010 Knottie Advice (this is from the June 2011 board's website):

Pavingtheroad -

Hi girls,

Just thought I would stop in and give you a little advice. I was in your shoes exactly one year ago, just newly engaged and excited to be planning a wedding. Today I am just under 6 months away from getting married and let me tell you time flies!!!. I'm sure many of you have heard "whats the rush... you still have over a year before you get married". I was told that so many times, but I booked vendors and the venue really early out and lucked out by getting what I wanted and in many cases saving quite a substancial amount of money because I booked before the new wedding season prices came out. By doing this its allowed me to have fairly unstressed planning since I alllowed myself plenty of time to research, contact and book vendors. It also allowed me the time to find styles and details I really wanted to include in the wedding.

The second piece of advice I will give (for the ladies paying for their own wedding). Set up a savings account and start putting away a set amount each month. And a little extra when you can. It makes it so much less stressful when your nearing the wedding and you arent scrounging to save the money you need to pay off everything.

Thirdly, enjoy being engaged... The next year and a half will go by so quickly. Enjoy being a fiancee and take this time to still do "non wedding related things". Have date nights, just go for a walk... anything that will give you a couple hours or a weekend of no wedding talk. Trust me your fiance will thank you for it.

Hopefully this advice helps... if you guys have any questions or are looking for inspiration feel free to come visit us on the July 2010 wedding board.

From Kniblet - HI ladies! I am the MOD on the June 2010 board and my brides have something for all of you getting married in June.

In July of 2009, the June '08 brides visited the '09 brides to give the best advice they could think of for the year of planning that lay before them. And the next year, the '09 brides did the same for us. In keeping with the tradition, we want to give you the advice that we think could help you in this next 11 months and on wedding day. (Bear with me, we are all a little longwinded.) And if you would like to look at the advice given to us, click on the June bio link in my siggy!

barrelbabe004:- Take time to take everything in- You've spent so much time on the small details, take them in.- Something will go wrong, even if it's small. It doesn't help matters to freak. Roll with the punches and fix the problem.- An awesome bridal party is key. My 13 year old junior bridesmaid was my savior. She made sure everything was in line, smiled for pictures, and kept the guests entertained. She gave me constant hugs and just reminded me why I knew I needed her by my side that day.- Do a "First Look"- It's amazing how much calmer you'll be and you'll be able to take in more of the ceremony. And seeing your best friend/FI when you're the most nervous really makes a difference in calming you down.

schumakr:- EAT! Make sure you have breakfast, lunch and most importantly, your wedding dinner. You will have energy to smile, all day, and dance all night.- Take everything in. Make sure to savor the day because it will be over in a second. - Make sure to have lots of people take lots of pictures! I have been reliving our day through the pictures people took. - When you get up there and hold his hand, keep looking in his eyes. It's the best moment ever.- Have a sense of humor. Let the little things go. - Plan the wedding that makes you and your FI happy. Do not do it to suit others. - Do not take a bunch of people to dress shop. I got super overwhelmed by all of the opinions, and everyone tossing dresses at me that I hated. - Let the consultant pick the dresses. Tell her what you like and what you don't like, and let her do the rest. That is what they get paid for!- Allow for some "chill out" time before the ceremony. It gave me time to clear my head, and just relax for a moment.

JBs_Bride:The ultimate wedding mantra: Only you can ruin your wedding day. Something will go wrong...it's pretty much guaranteed. You can't control what happens, the only thing you can control is your response.

When it comes to choosing vendors, do your research. Once you book a vendor, don't revisit that again; you'll only second guess yourself and there's no real point in doing that... well, unless you want to make yourself nuts.

Follow up to point two, but worthy of it's own blurb... Once you buy your dress, stop looking at dresses!!!! Absolutely! Not even going to other shops to try on dresses "for fun." This is how two-, three-, even four-dress brides are born.

Try to wait to pick your bridal party, ideally 6-8 months before. You would be surprised how much relationships change and how much girls have regretted picking their BP too soon.

If you can afford to get a full planner, hire one! And definitely hire a DOC. You do not want to be the point person on your wedding day for all of your vendors. You will have enough on your mind that day. Hiring a planner was the best thing I did during the whole process. She found the perfect vendors and set up all of the appointments, got all of their pricing info, etc. We also got a lot of special deals with our vendors because she works with them so often. Example: One of my bridesmaids had the zipper in her dress break. My planner and one of her staff painstakingly sewed my bridesmaid into her dress. By the time they were done you couldn't even tell it was sewn by hand and that there wasn't a zipper at all. Without having her there, it would have been a real scramble to find someone with those kind of sewing skills.

BellaSposa223:-I f something is going to go wrong, just go with it and accept it. SO much went wrong at my wedding on part of the limo company and venue, just take it for what it is at the moment and deal with it later so your day isn't ruined. I could write a book on everything that went wrong.-I f you and your FI are at the same place getting ready, take the moment to peek out the window when he's outside. I realized just how much I missed him in those moments.- Enjoy the day from the moment you get up til you go to bed that night!

ms nobody:Planning: Start creating your little family - you and your FI (and any children or furballs you have). Protect your new family, and don't let your existing families wedge in there and judge or give direction when it is totally unnecessary. Stay polite, but make it known that you need to do what's best for you and your FI. the wedding is just the start of your marriage, and you need to keep building your relationship during the engagement to stay strong. If this means you make unpopular decisions about the wedding re: religion, family involvement, size, food, invitations, guest list, etc then so be it. Don't let parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or friends use your wedding or relationship as a doormat to wipe off all of their nasty opinions and behaviors. Your ceremony, however personal, is not the time to express your political beliefs. Do not mention abortion, do not call gays heathens, do not have any statements read about those who do not share the same beliefs as you. They are insulting, hurtful, and ultimately offend your guests. Make the ceremony about YOUR marriage, YOUR life and YOUR love, and how you want it to be. Do not allow the Wedding Industry to convince you that your wedding is about your makeup, or your dress, or your linens, expensive shoes, giant budgets, 30 orchid topiaries, or the size of the ring on your finger. Tell your inner David Tuttera to STFU! The things you see on TK? ignore them. You do not need the "Must Haves." Ignore the wedding envy- you will have it. You'll be worried that your wedding wont look as nice, or be as nice, or feel as swanky/diy/fun/hip/indie as the next wedding- ignore it. Ignore 90% of the wedding blogs. Do not let the Wedding Industry, or your dream-wedding ego convince you to do anything distasteful (ie: church shop, only have pretty BMs or BMs who can fit into a certain dress, etc). Oh and btw- DO NOT go on a "wedding diet." just dont even go there. The wedding day: EAT. eat breakfast. eat lunch. eat your expensive ass dinner. EAT SOME CAKE! Relax. Pay attention. After the wedding: Write it all down! all of it! take some time to write out a narrative of your wedding day. Get a Videographer(or someone to film the ceremony- if you don't have at least the ceremony filmed you will regret it. My SIL of 9 years regrets it to this day. get a dang camcorder, get something!). Get a DOC (or a friend/family member to do this for you). You'll be able to enjoy the day instead of direct people and fret about stupid crap.

mswood1977:1. Relax and and enjoy the day and try to not obsess over the little things. If you don't already have a DOC, I suggest you hire one or at the very least see if you can get a close friend or family member to act as your DOC so that you don't have everyone coming to you with all the last minute questions etc. I don't know what I would have done with out my DOC.

2. My husband and I rode to the reception by ourselves so we had about 15 minutes of alone time after the ceremony, which I loved.

4. Make sure you eat at the reception. I have heard horror stories about brides that didn't get to eat at their reception and the only cake they get is the tiny taste when they cut the cake. I made sure I was able to eat my meal and I got a piece of cake We did a receiving line as guest exited the church so I did not feel guilty if I didn't make the rounds to everyone at the reception.

5. If you want everything to be on time then pad an extra hour into your getting ready time. If you think you need 2 hours for hair and makeup, then schedule it so that you actually have 3 hours. I had to be at my church by 3:30 to get dressed, I had my hair and make up done offsite. I started with my hair at noon, it took her longer to do my hair than she initially thought so that pushed my makeup back by about 45 minutes, but I was still out of the salon and on my way to the church by 2:30, which gave me more than enough time. We were able to start pictures on time and be done on time to start the wedding exactly on time.

6. Don't be afraid that seeing each other before you walk down the aisle will take anything away from that moment. We did a first look, which was very special and emotional, but the moment the church doors opened and I walked down the aisle was still special and full of emotion

Jewels2010:1. Make your wedding your own....its you and your future husbands day so let it reflect your personalities.

2. Start early and pay as you go. It helps a lot and saves your stress.

3. Do a first look because you will be calmer and you have that moment with just the 2 of you and not 50 million people staring at you.

4. Make sure you wat throughout the day to keep your strength.

5.Have fun!!!! Theres bound to be 1 thing to go wrong but go with flow and have a blast!!!!!Good luck!!!

Kniblet:First and most important, ONLY YOU can ruin your wedding. Things WILL go wrong. But how you handle the problems? THAT will determine the mood of the entire day.

Second and equally important, that old saying about weddings bringing out the worst in people? It's not true. Weddings bring out the worst in FAMILIES!!!! Countless brides have had horrible problems with their moms, dads, sisters, aunts, uncles...etc.

Planning:~ Try to involve your FI as much as possible. This is not about YOU only, it's about BOTH OF YOU. Ask his opinions and LISTEN to him, even if his ideas are crazy.~ If your FI just keeps saying "whatever, it's your day"... TALK TO HIM, don't yell or start crying. Remind him that it's about BOTH of you. (And don't blame him. For YEARS, men have been led to believe that the wedding is ALL about the bride.)

~ Plan the wedding that YOU can afford. Do NOT go into debt trying to make this your dream wedding. ~ If someone offers to pay for it, remember, they will have some say in how the day is planned. If you don't like that, pay for it YOURSELF.

~ WAIT until about 6-8 months out to pick your bridal party. You have NO idea how much people change in a year or more. TOO many ladies on my board regretted making this decision too early.~ Once you pick your BP, YOU HAVE TO KEEP THEM, unless they drop out. You cannot FIRE a BM.

~ Try on LOTS of dresses until you find the ONE. But then STOP LOOKING! Stop buying magazines and thumbing through them. You picked THAT dress for a reason.

~ Only invite the number of people that you can afford to FEED AND WATER. If you cannot afford drinks for all of your guests on your dime, have beer and wine only. Or just sodas. Your guests put their lives on hold for your wedding. Repay them by paying for them.

~ Budget for a wedding planner. Trust me, having one saved us SO many times. And if you cannot afford the full service, hire them for Day Of. It was WONDERFUL having someone that was NOT family being in charge of any problems. Your mom should NOT be doing this. She deserves to be the MOB and that's it.~ Budget for a Videographer or have someone tape as much as possible. It goes by SO fast. Pics can only tell a certain part of the story. 2 weeks after our wedding and our ceremony is a blur to me.

Wedding Day:~ Take a few moments for yourself the morning of. My MOH stayed in the hotel room with me the night before, but had to go and get her kids from their dad that morning. While she was gone, I ordered breakfast and watched a little TV and tried to collect my thoughts. Once the wedding madness starts, you won't have one second alone. Enjoy it.

~ EAT! If your stomach is in knots, just snack as much as you can. You need energy to make it through the entire day and night.

~ If you are thinking about doing a "First Look" but worry about it making the walk down the aisle not as "special", throw that out. We did a first look and it was one of the best decisions that we made in 18 months of planning. It was just us and the photog and video gal in the background somewhere. We had a few moments ALONE before we were entertaining people the rest of the day. And yes, I still cried walking down the aisle. I was laughing right before I took that first step. First Looks take NOTHING away from the walk and seeing your future husband standing there waiting for you.

~ Try to take it all in. It goes by SO FAST. We planned for 18 months and it was over before we could blink.

~ Something WILL go wrong, I promise. A few things were not quite right at our wedding and I knew it. But I refused to be bothered by it. I knew that we would NEVER be able to have all of this again and we only got the one day.

future mrs.riva:Planning: - include your FI, it's his wedding too and you want it to reflect him as well. - wait to pick your bridemaids. so much can happen to your relationships in a year.- research your vendors! make sure you look over reviews, etc.- don't try to take on a ton of DIY projects unless you really have the time to commit to it. i spent over 500 hrs on DIY things and by the week before the wedding, i was really regretting not paying for programs.

Wedding Day:- the first look is a must! it was so great to be able to spend a couple minutes of along time with him. it really calmed me down and made me more excited than nervous. - roll with the punches. things go wrong, it's just the nature of things. it gives you something to laugh about later. our pastor accidentally mentioned "divorce is a part of marriage," instead of "engagement" and it made for a really funny moment. i could have gotten upset and punched him, but it was honestly funny and im still laughing about it. :)- just enjoy yourself, don't worry about what other people think. i come off as a composed quiet kind of person, but i danced the night away with a bottle of beer in hand. im sure it shocked a few people. - take in the little moments! i remember the little chat i had with my dad while we were waiting to go down the aisle, the few moments alone after the ceremony with DH and the brawl during the bouquet toss. :)

All in all, have fun! And again, don't pick your bridesmaids til 6-8 months out. I didn't and it really bit me in the @ss. Learn from my mistake! :)

lca315girl:- YOU CAN'T DO A THING ABOUT THE WEATHER! If you are concerned about what the weather may do, have a back up plan. - Just because a Knottie or someone you know is planning something extravagant for their wedding, doesn't mean you have to. Do what is within your budget. - Include your FI. It's just as much his wedding as it is yours.- I'm 99.9% sure that all of your RSVPs will not come in by your deadline. Be prepared to call people to find out if they're coming or not. If you are that .1% and all of your RSVPs are accounted for before your deadline, consider yourself lucky. - Have a DOC. Talk about a life saver!- Enjoy the day, because it does go by extremely fast. - Don't stress over the tiny details. Your guests aren't going to noticeif your cornflower blue napkins don't match the ribbon on your card box. They'll be too busy gushing at how gorgeous and fabulous you look (and what kind of woman doesn't like being told how fabulous she looks).

definitly make sure you eat before the ceremony. I ate about an hour before and was so glad I did because I wasnt able to eat my dinner.

Make sure your RB & FG have something to eat right before too. It helps alot.

Try to take everything in. The day will go by so fast and you will not remember them if you dont take a moment to breathe and see all of the wonderful stuff around you.

Make it a priority to get to every table, we only got through 3 tables out of 18 and missed alot of people. Make sure that you try to say hi to everyone.

Plan for an extra hour for hair and makeup. The hair ran normal time but the makeup ran late and we were about 20 mins late to the venue which caused some missed pics alot of frustrations, stress, ect.

Meagan0528:Drink lots of water! I remembered to eat because everyone told me too, but I didn't drink any water and ended up really dehydrated the day after the wedding.

Remember what your wedding day is all about-lots of other people have said this, but it's the most important advice I can think of. You and your groom will remember this day for the rest of your lives, so try to have a positive attitude about everything that happens. 20 years from now, you won't remember what upset you, but you'll remember that you spent half the day worrying and brooding if you choose to do so.

Eat Cake-ours was delicious, and your will be too.

Love-every moment of this day; every person who took the time out of their schedule to witness this special day, every detail that you planned playing out for everyone to see, and the look in your fiancee's eyes when he sees how beautiful you look in that gown. Soak up that magic . Smile, laugh, and cry....that's what this day is all about.

Debrief-After the reception was over and we finally made it back to the hotel room, FI and I ordered pizza and ate it in our wedding clothes while we talked about our favorite moments of the day and what we were feeling now that it was all over. It was so sweet and honest, and it was one of my favorite memories of the whole day.

adgenya:Have a friend take pictures with your camera throughout the day/evening. You'll be happy to have pictures right afterwards to look at and talk about.

Make sure your wedding party stays hydrated (especially if you are outside) and keep water on hand, just in case.

Take "mental pictures" throughout the night because everything will literally be a blur

.Keeping a calm and relaxed attitude will help make for a calm and relaxed day (even in the midst of problems).

Say "hello" to all of your guests. It took the majority of the night, but we talked to all of our guests (157 people) except one (because he left early). It was totally worth it. They each were able to see how much we valued their presence.

Eat throughout the day. People will always try to talk to you and get a few moments with you...even while you are eating dinner. Eating beforehand lets you have something in your stomach to keep you going.

Have your photographer follow you around when greeting guests. It ends the conversations and you get a great table shot.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Everything didn't go perfectly, but in the end, it still went perfectly because the little things don't really matter in the end.

Hire quality vendors and trust them! We didn't have to worry about our vendors because they were all recommended by other knotties and had great online reviews and references. It made it so we didn't have to do anything and that helped keep us calm and relaxed. We were actually able to enjoy the wedding instead of worrying about it.

Take a few minutes away with your hubby during the reception to let it all sink in. Remember that your bridal party are your friends and family, not your assistants. I am now closer to my wedding party (hubby's too) because all we asked them to do was show up on-time in their attire, eat, and have a good time. Since we didn't expect them to "work", they volunteered to help, and we were able to create even more memories together.

Be yourselves! The thing that helped make our wedding a success was it fit our personalities so well and our guests were able to connect with that.

Do a first look. We were still blubbering fools during the actual ceremony, but doing the first look helped a lot and allowed us to get some great pictures.

Be consistent with your guest list (we had an adults-only wedding). Yah, some people might not like their little precious was not invited, but in the end, if you are consistent with everyone, you can fall back that you are trying to be fair to everyone. As long as you are fair, your guests will understand.

Do a photobooth. I was on the fence about it, but in retrospect, the pictures are worth it and guests really do love it.

amberpro:Planning- Do plenty of research and ask plenty of questions. The best deal in the short run may not be the best deal in the long run. Do only what you can afford, but be sure and get the most for your money. Good, quality vendors will help make your wedding day (and the weeks leading up to it) stress free.- Trust your gut. If you don't click with a vendor at a meeting, keep looking.- Plan, plan, TAKE A BREAK, plan, plan, TAKE A BREAK. You WILL get burnt out. It is not necessary to plan every minute of every day for the next year. I took months off. It will all come together in the end. I promise.-Do e-pics if they are in your budget. It's a great way to get to know your photographer. They are not necessary by any means, but by doing e-pics and bridals, I feel I built a great relationship with our photographer, and on the day of, it was like another friend or BM running around with us. -Know what you want, but don't be married to it (so to speak). Your wedding will evolve as elements come together. And remember that you have booked professionals. You want someone that can bring out your vision, but they have wonderful suggestions as well. My vendors took my viewpoint, and made it even better. I trusted them (especially my florist) and I am so glad I did! With her additions and suggestions, things turned out even better than it was in my head.-Things/plans/projects will get scrapped as the wedding approaches. THIS IS OK.-Keep your guests in mind when you are planning the reception. You are hosting a party. Don't be a bad host.-I wish I had known how busy I'd be and how much money I'd spend the week leading up to the wedding. I had put some aside, but Holy Crap.-Don't forget that you are not only planning a wedding... but a MARRIAGE! Don't get so caught up in the planning of the day, that you forget why you're doing it. Foster your relationship with your FI throughout this process. Plan date nights, remember to spend quality time together, take advantage of the counseling sessions offered by your officiant. Talk with your FI about things NOT WEDDING RELATED. Enjoy your engagement. (I bolded that on purpose. IMO, it's the most important thing to remember)The Day Of- Take time to have a moment with your new husband after the ceremony. We sneaked into a Sunday school room at the church after the ceremony and talked for a few minutes. It was our only chance to be alone until our reception exit. It was one of the highlights of the day.- Have fun! Listen to the June 2010 Knotties... we have some smarty pants girls who have offered me good advice for over a year now. I wouldn't have made it without them!

abbeylynne06:Planning:Set your priorities. Choose a few things that you know you must have at your wedding. Spend you time and money on these things. (For us it was photography, chair covers, and an all-inclusive venue) Other, less important things will be where you save your money. Unless you have an absolutely unlimited budget, you'll have to choose some things to nix or save money on.

RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH if you have the time/patience. You can find really great vendors, great deals on decor, and great ideas with a little research. Use your local board (if it's active) as a resource for vendor recommendations.

If you get burnt out on wedding planning, STOP until you feel like you want to do more. You can take long breaks off with no problem. There is nothing that can't wait a little bit if it is costing your sanity.

The knot is a great place for ideas, but it can also be overwhelming. Remember your priority items. There is no way you can incorporate every cool idea that you see into one wedding. And, take people's advice with a grain of salt. I saw so many posts that said things like "OMG, you have to have a DOC and a videographer. You will regret it forever if you don't!" I stressed this stuff, until I remembered that I hate seeing myself on video. A videographer? Not for me. (Although someone did tape the ceremony) And, we didn't have a DOC and the wedding was just fine!

Don't stress the wedding forecast. First, there is nothing you can do about it. Second, the forecast is probably wrong. There was a 70% chance of rain on my wedding day. It rained for 30 minutes while we were inside during the ceremony. Don't stress it!

Wedding Day:

-When your day is here, stop planning. All you need to do that day is take it in.-DH and I rode from the ceremony to the reception in our regular car, just the two of us. It was one of the best things about the whole day... just talking about everything, having a few minutes to ourselves, and just being in awe that we were actually married!-If you don't want to do a first look, don't let people convince you that you'll be too nervous and have no time for pictures. We didn't have one and still got great pictures.

If you can swing it, take a honeymoon right away after your wedding (like, within that next week). Or, at least take a few days off work for a mini-moon, just spend a few nights in a nice hotel, something. Something big and fundemental has happened. Your relationship has changed, take some time to celebrate and reflect on that. Going away for a week to just be together, just the two of us was probably the best choice we made.

brookev11:~ Research your vendors - ask others for advice, use your local board. ~ Start planning early, then the weeks leading up to your wedding you can be more relaxed, and enjoy being married. When my family came to town I was able to set aside the entire week to spend time with them, I did not have to be stressing as to what still needed to be done. ~ Make your wedding Yours - personalize it. Your guests will notice that and remember the details. ~ Do not ask someone to be in your WP because you feel obligated. You will regret it, choose your WP 8 months out, do not do it as soon as you get engaged. As other June "10 brides have said, relationships change - it is awful to be stuck with a BM who does not care to be involved in your wedding...trust me.~ Involve your FI, ask him for help. ~ Be organized - if you start out organized it helps throughout the entire process. ~ For DIY inspiration look @ other's bios - I did so many projects by looking @ what others had done.~ Do not think just because the wedding industry or other brides have something you need it @ your wedding. @ the end of the day no matter if you have huge floral centerpieces or candles you will be married and that is what matters.~ Set a realistic budget and stick to it.~ Set aside plenty of time to get ready on your wedding day - I was rushed because of WP drama, a BM car accident, and wish I had more time to take it all in.~ Do not hesistate on the 1st look pictures. I convinced DH to do it and it was so worth it. I had heard he was freaking out about everything (BM accident, decorating, etc.) while I was calm. Once he saw me, he relaxed and we enjoyed the day. My favorite part of the day was opening up the doors, seeing the guests all seated, the view of the harbor, and my DH waiting for me @ the altar; seeing my DH beforehand took nothing away from that. ~ Take everything in on your wedding day - it goes by so fast.

Midgette:Planning - -Include your FI in the decisions, you might be surprised with how much input they might have. -Plan what you can afford and pay for.

-Plan the wedding you and your FI want, and do not hesitate about it! There were things we wanted that our parents didnt care for and we did it anyway since we were paying and I loved it!-Dont be snippy or yell at the people that are helping you. Weddings truly show you the people that care, and make sure you let them know how much you appreciate them.-Dont let people get under your skin, everyone has different tastes and options and you need to be you! (pink shoes - and pink in my nails and i wouldnt change it at all)

Wedding Day -Make sure you get some sleep the night before. I went to sleep at 2 and was up at 5 - not pretty! lol I was exhausted but snapped out of it.-Try to have a fun and relaxing morning while getting hair and makeup done. And EAT!!!! -Try to poop before u put on ur dress, u dont want to have to go when u are in it =)-Always smile!!! U never know who is taking pictures or has u caught on video! LOL They caught me in a bridezilla moment during the reception and it is on facebook! lol(they wanted to pick my mom up in a chair and i wouldnt let them)- Have a great time while taking your pictures, laugh and be playful! It will pay off when looking through those proofs!-Make sure everyone knows their cues - my uncles didnt hear the music start at the church and didnt open the doors. The organist played the whole song and then started it again...Some guests thought i ran...-Dance you butt off! and Eat!!!!Look at the room before anyone is in it, and take it all in!If something goes wrong and isnt right, no one will know but you! Another suggestion: at some point have the DJ announce your honeymoon location: We had 35 tables to greet and i think almost everyone asked us where we were going. It woulkd have saved us some extra time to get out dance on =)

Post Wedding - ENJOYYYYYYYYYYY the time with your husband.If you are going on your honeymoon right after or not, live in the moment of being married, everything else can wait!

kmt_cas:Planning:Make every detail represents you/your FI in some way. Doing something because someone/some thing (aka TK) told you to is just silly. If you want a mariachi band, have one. If you hate veils, don't wear one. By holding true to yourself and your FI, your wedding will be much more personal and meaningful for everyone involved.

Work with vendors you LOVE. I mean it. If you didn't "click" with someone, do NOT hire them. We surrounded ourselves with people who we absolutely loved to work with and were so glad we did. You are with these people for the majority of the day, make life easy and pick nice people. You'll be glad you did!

Take some time off from planning, especially if you have a long engagement. We went in spurts which was nice because we would get burned out from time to time. In fact, about a month before the wedding we stopped planning. When we showed up at reception, seeing all the details that I had forgotten about was almost like Christmas. In fact, I was really proud of ourselves for putting together everything so nicely all on our own.

Wedding day:Most important advice I have....seriously.....SMILE. It's your wedding! If you can't smile and have a great time on your wedding day, well, I won't go there but........ Have fun. Relax. Hold your husbands hand. You've made it! Partners in crime!

This may only pertain to a few people, but if you have a gap during your wedding (we had a 3 hour gap) and your dress is easy to get in/out of, take it off for a few minutes, run to the bathroom and get back in. It was SO refreshing. It was a really hot day on our wedding and after taking pictures outside for hours, jumping out of the dress for 5 minutes felt like heaven.

Make sure you visit everyone and thank everyone. It's so important to make sure that everyone knows how glad you are that they are part of such a special day.

Eat. Trust me, you need to eat. Alcohol + no food = awful situation. Take a second and eat!

Dance up a freaking storm.

Reread my first piece of advice from the wedding day section.

Post wedding:Do not start thank you notes right away. Take some time and just be. Whether you're going on a honeymoon or not. Just be happy with your husband. That isn't to say wait 4 months before you start them, but you don't need to start the process the next day.

Go through pictures and tell stories to one another. At least part of the day was probably spent apart from one another, tell your experience, you will probably get some funny stories out of it.

Minimin20:--Do lots of research and ask for recommendations for vendors from friends, family and your Knot local board. And meet with as many people face to face as you can. It's a lot of time and work, but it's worth it. A vendor isn't just their pretty website; if you don't get a good vibe or just don't think your personalities will mesh, don't hire that person.

--Don't be afraid to haggle, nicely. If you take the time to meet with someone and talk to them, be honest about what you were hoping to spend and ask if there are any ways to adjust the price. I found that many people were willing to do this as long as you're respectful and fair. Also, don't be afraid to ask for more time to make a decision, and weigh options carefully.

--Don't read too many magazines or too much of other people's ideas. It can make you second guess your own ideas or make you feel like you have to do more and more.

--DIY only if you know you'll enjoy it or can tolerate it. And don't tackle every project you see other people doing -- it'll burn you out and you'll end up with lots of stuff you don't even need or will use. And remember that DIY doesn't necessarily mean cheaper. You'd be surprised how much all the supplies for a project will cost.

--Involve your FI in the major stuff, but don't bore him with little details. Don't take it personally when he really doesn't care what kind of flowers you have, and if he says he really doesn't care, believe him and move on! And give him specific things to handle and work on, things you know he willl care about.

--Also, give in to your FI once in a while. I felt like I made so many of the decisions with the wedding and got things "my" way, so when my husband really had a strong feeling about something, even if it wasn't what I would have done, I yielded. I wanted him to feel like it was his wedding too.

Wedding day:--Delegate. Find people who are willing to help you get things done and you know will do it without complaining or making you feel like a bridezilla. You might feel weird about it or not want to let go of the control, but you must, otherwise you'll burn yourself out right before the wedding. And don't make your bridal party do it all -- they'll have enough to deal with. Get some family friends or relatives you trust.

--When it comes to the first look vs. not seeing each other, or spending the night apart vs. together, etc., trust your instincts, not what people think you should do. Do whatever will make you feel the most comfortable and calm the day of the wedding.

--Think about your photos and what you want, and pay attention to what your photographer is capturing. I didn't really have a must-have photo list beyond the standards, but I wish I had. I feel like I should have made a point to dance more with my sister or my mom so we could have had a photo of that, but got caught up in other stuff. But also trust your photographer to do his/her job and don't micromanage.

--Hire a good DJ/MC/coordinator! You need someone competant and organized to know when things are supposed to happen and keep everything moving, as well as coordinate with other vendors to make sure it all happens. Our DJ did this for us and everything went so smoothly because he was organized, professional and willing to do it. You don't want to be watching the clock and trying to corral people to make sure the cake is cut on time, etc.

--Don't spend a fortune on wedding night accommodations. A suite with a hot tub sounds romantic, but you won't spend much time there, and you'll probably be too tired to really enjoy them. And with so many people visiting, you may want to after party with them instead of just going back to your hotel room anyways. Save the fancy room and big romantic gestures for the honeymoon, where you'll be relaxed and alone.

kmuthig:When you're buying your dress make sure to try sitting down in it. I didn't and on my wedding day realized that I couldn't really sit down in my dress and had to sit on the edge of the chair and lean back.

If you can afford it hire a coordinator. My was amazing and was instant calm the everytime I saw her because I knew everything was getting taken care of. Since she was a professional she thought of details no one else thought of including making sure that my stuff got from the bridal suite to my car.

Hire a photographer that has a style that you like. Each photographer has a different personality and may not shoot the type of photos you like.

Do a first look....I was initially opposed to it and after I'm so glad I did. I was able to relax and was calm for the ceremony.

Chelsiver:Planning: Research vendors. I was going to DIY my centerpieces, but found a florist who would do them for cheaper than I could. Vendors have a lot of supplies already. Write lists! I had a clipboard with all kinds of lists on it: To dos, To packs, Things to remember, etc.Get some crayons! When I was deciding my colors, I bought a box of crayons and a notebook and drew pictures of bouquets in various color combinations. It was fun and helped me to visualize.Save your change!!! All through our engagement, my husband and I would pay up to the next dollar and get change back. All that change went into a shoe box and every couple of months, we would go to the credit union and turn it into bills. We saved about $500 in change. It adds up fast!WeddingEat breakfast. I found bagels and cream cheese to be amazing stomach calmers.It's ok to ask for some alone time. Getting ready at the hotel was so chaotic. I ended up finding a bathroom in a room where I was all alone to do my makeup. I didn't feel rushed and it was calming to be by myself for a while. I also wish that I had asked everyone except for my mom and moh to step out of the bride's room at my venue when I was putting my dress on. People were trying to be helpful, but I had a bunch of people pulling me in a million directions. I wish I had spent a little quiet time with my mom and sil.It's ok to see your (almost) husband on the wedding day. We didn't have time to do a first look at our venue. But he was in and out of my hotel room all day while I was getting ready. Being able to see him and know he would be my husband soon was wonderful.At least taste everything at dinner. My moh laced my dress so tightly that I couldn't finish my dinner, but I made sure to taste everything and eat as much as I could!Look around and breathe! Hire a videographer if you can.

MissySue20:Planning: I think the other ladies already said it. But don't forget to take breaks, don't let the little things stress you out and when we feel like a meltdown is coming, walk away from it. It will give you time to clear your thoughts. Another thing that really helped me was to try to "think outside the box." For example, we were going to do 2 centerpieces per table at our reception, but it was going to be way outside our budget. I have to admit I did have a meltdown, but then after I cooled off, I went on the TK and posted my problem. The lovely ladies gave me some cheap but pretty ideas I could offset not having two centerpieces for 8 tops rectangular tables. It was a life saver.

Wedding day:BREATHE! This is one of the things that helped me A LOT! I didn't think it would, but it did. For those that have a religious ceremony, whenever we were siting at the altar, I practiced my deep breathing even more and tried to relax. I think I got most of the tears out at the rehearsal dinner, so thankfully I did a really good job fighting the few that wanted to come during the ceremony.

Post-wedding:Take some time to talk about your special day, all of the memories, etc. H and I did this on our HM, which was really wonderful. We just kept looking at each other saying: "guess what, we are married." It is such a wonderful feeling. The marriage is the main thing, and I while I may have lost sight of that at times during the planning, I definitely know it now.

marisaocho:1. Don't rush yourself in the morning. If you need to be ready by 11am for photos, don't even think about scheduling in a breakfast with your friends/family/WP. Being rushed on your wedding day can make things very stressful. Ask someone to deliver some bagels, fruit, whatever, to the place you are getting ready so people can snack.

2. EAT! Don't skip breakfast, lunch or dinner.

3. If you are feeling snappy, remove yourself from the situation before it blows up. No one wants to be around a snappy bride and you don't want to add extra stress to yourself or anyone else.

4. Do a first look! My husband cried more than I did during the first look and it was awesome. Nothing changed the way either of us felt as I walked down the aisle and the ceremony was still everything I imagined it would be.

5. Give yourself as much time as possible. Our hair/makeup ran about 30-60 minutes longer than expected but we had the time to play with so it worked out. Don't schedule everything down to the minute.

6. If you can swing it, get a photobooth. This was instant gratification on Sunday morning after the wedding. The pictures are hilarious and you can really tell that everyone had a blast.

7. If you can't hire a DOC or Planner, pick a friend or family member that you trust to handle everything on the day of the wedding. My best friend did this for us and she was amazing.

8. Don't leave for your honeymoon at 6am the day after your wedding. You will be exhausted and it's nice to have the extra time to sleep in and just be husband and wife for a while before surrounding yourselves with others.

9. Try to gather your family and friends for a brunch/bbq/dinner the day after the wedding. Sharing stories and seeing pictures on everyone's cameras the day after is a lot of fun.

10. If you are not one for the spotlight, take a Xanax or some kind of chill pill. People will be in your face all day/night long with cameras, hugs and wanting to chit chat. While all that is wonderful, it can get overwhelming.

11. Don't forget to smile and have fun!

nleley1505:If you are planning on doing a DIY wedding, make a list of everything you need to do, and I mean everything! As you get stuff done check it off the list. Do not wait until the last minute to do stuff for the wedding! It'll add un-needed stress right before the wedding. Also, make sure to keep everything for the wedding together so nothing gets lost or forgotten.

When trying on dresses be open to suggestions. You might fall in love with a dress that is nothing like what you originally wanted, I did.

Get lots of pictures! Make a list of all the pictures you want. Ask friends and family to take pictures for you, even if you get a professional photographer they might miss some moments, they can't be everywhere at once.

Your wedding day will go by so fast. Take time to enjoy every moment of it, as well as the planning. Don't waste time worrying about the small stuff. On your wedding day you need to let everything else go and assume it will go smoothly, I wish I had done this.

Good luck!

BrittBritt22:DIY brides - start your projects early!! You might feel silly doing menus 4 or 5 months out but you will thank yourself later, trust me! I was working on projects until the Friday before my wedding, it got done but I wish I could have relaxed and enjoyed that week more.

Everyone is going to give you advice and offer opinions on your wedding, often times unsolicited. Just smile and nod. It is okay if your grandma is horrified by your colorful crinny, if you want it, go for it.

Give your personal camera to someone to be your personal photog for today. Of course you will. have professional pictures but we loved being able to go back to the hotel and the end of the night and looking at all the pictures my cousin had took for us during the day.

When you tell your photog about your must take photos, remember to tell the people in them too! We had a set of grandparents leave after the ceremony and we never got formal pictures with them because we forgot to tell them to stick around.

Pack a cooler and bring it to the church. I was afraid to drink before the wedding because I didn't want to have to pee in my dress but when my bridesmaid pulled out a cold Pepsi after the wedding I was so happy I could have cried. Lots of times you miss the cocktail hour because you are taking pictures so pack the bridal party some drinks and snacks to munch on before pictures. And bring straws, you don't want Pepsi down the front of anyone's dress.

Good luck ladies :)

jujubee455:Make a list of the important things you don't want to forget and a few days before the wedding, make sure you line all your items up, so you don't forget any of the important items. I totally forgot about the toasting flutes, and also couldn't locate a bunch of the vases I needed to make the CPs, because my mom had put them somewhere, and my brain was mush, and she wouldn't tell me where they were. So keep things together, in one spot. Don't put things all over. And if you are an OOT bride like I was, make sure you keep on telling your parents/mom/dad a million times not to move your stuff. I am heartbroken on some of the items I either forgot about or couldn't find to use for the wedding.

Get as much done as possible before the last week of the wedding. Believe me it will make things much easier

Hire a DOC if you can manage. They are truly indispensable.

Make sure to ask one of your BM or MOH to pay attention to how you look. I was so concerned about being shiny, that I forgot to make sure that someone fixed my hair or let me know if it needed fixing, and after looking at pictures, I realized by about 2 hours into the reception my hair had started to come a bit loose, but I had no idea as no one had told me. Although I didn't get too shiny lol.

Make boxes of the stuff you made as well (DIY brides), and make sure to let someone know where these items need to go. I had some of my DIY items never get used.

Try and make time to stare in the mirror before anythign starts. I wish I could have had time to really take everything in with how I looked.

I cannot reiterate how important it is to get things done early... so many things I had put off (for good reason of course considering how busy I was the last few months)... that I literally felt lost the two days before the wedding, and knew it wasn't going to get done.

Get as much help as you can the few days before teh wedding. I would not have survived the night before without a few of my BMs and my MOH. They were my lifeline.

whitneykaye87:Most importantly, keep in mind that this is about your upcoming MARRIAGE. The WEDDING is one day. Yes, it's fun and important and exciting, but don't lose sight of what's really important.

Second most importantly, make the wedding about you and your FI as much as possible. The only details your guests might actually care about/remember are the ones where you showcase your personalities and interests. Plus, you will remember those parts the best as well!

In no real order, just as I thought of them:

1. Remember everyone will have an opinion on everything you do. You will not make everyone happy. Get used to it and get over it early.

2. Make sure you look at your potential guest list before you do anything else. This might seem obvious, but I've heard from a lot of brides who freak out because their family is too big to fit into the venue they selected and paid deposits on months before they narrowed the guest list.

3. Along the same line, don't invite more people than your venue can hold. True, some people will probably decline, but I've seen 100% attendance. You might be surprised.

4. Don't go wedding dress shopping with a bunch of people. One (maybe two) is really all you need, and more can just confuse you.

5. Don't get pressured by friends, family, random strangers, or the bridal industry to spend money on all the stupid tiny details. If you have them, people MAY notice, but most probably won't. Even if they do notice, only you will care, so don't drive yourself nuts based un the expectations of other people.

6. Don't go over your wedding budget. Set it early and stick to it. One day is not worth debt, I promise.

7. Don't expect other people to care about your wedding as much as you do.

8. Do talk about things NWR with your bridal party. They still have their own lives.

9. Don't be afraid to book things early. Get the checklist done so it won't hang over your head.

10. When you do book things, check to see if you're allowed to change your mind. If not, QUIT LOOKING (this goes for buying your wedding dress as well).

11. Have someone videotape your wedding. Even if you have a friend tape it on a camcorder, it's better than not having anything. You will be SO happy if you do this (FYI- really good camcorders with a tripod can run as low as $100-200 on sale).

12. During your wedding day, do your best to take moments every now and then to drink it all in. Those moments will allow you to appreciate all of the work and planning, and those moments are the ones you will remember the best.

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