London Apartment Fire Nominated For Nobel Prize In Economics

Less than an a week since an apartment tower in Grenfell in London was incinerated in a preventable inferno, the Nobel Prize Committee has announced that the fire will be one of the finalists for the Nobel Prize in Economics thanks to a spirited campaign from conservative journalists.

“The fire managed to achieve the previously only theoretical outcome of saving the tax payer money while decreasing over-demand for housing. That is why esteemed economic minded journalists, like such a The Financial Times columnist Ann Roark, have been praising the cremation as “economically revolutionary”, Ms Roark advised The (un)Australian.

“It’s simple demand and supply. In economics, demand isn’t defined just as a consumer’s want for a product, but they must also be able to purchase it. If someone can’t rent an apartment because it’s either too expensive for them, or they’ve been burned to death, then we achieve market equilibrium.”

Conservatives are praising Prime Minister Theresa May’s visionary disregard for the poor, creating the ideal economic conditions for the spiritual fire of austerity economics to achieve desired outcomes. And also creating the ideal conditions for a literal fire.

Similarly, over-regulation that was once the du jour economic theory, which insisted for luxurious life-saving devices like “fire exits,” and “water”, is now being revealed to be unnecessary and costly, whose implementation could theoretically price the poor into homelessness, instead of their own graves.

“Communists, bleeding hearts, and regular people might be outraged by these deaths, but are they accounting for all the people who are now not dead because they didn’t burn up in different fire caused socialism, that I just invented?” Roark expanded. “What people need to understand is, this isn’t like religion. This is economics. It’s science.”

Richard Woodhouse

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