"Whoopsies!" When to have #2

Hi all, I've been off the boards for a long time. Postpartum anxiety, I'm going to work, I'm not going to work, I won't stay at home all day with my son. We've managed to get part time care for my son and and I'm not working so I have loads of time for self care. I just tapered off a medication that wasn't helping my bipolar disorder and got off the pill and now I've felt quite happy and stable for the last month. I've lined up doctors appointments to get a tummy tuck to fix my diastasis recti (i still look pregnant to most). I'm working on losing weight and mediating, yada yada yada.

I've been tracking my cycles via basal temperature with the goal of preventing conception. It's our anniversary today and my predictor is guessing I will ovulate tomorrow. I kind of just don't want to prevent it. Abstinence has been our method thus far. :'(. I've hemmed and hawed over the second baby dilemma as has my husband. I kind of want to bite the bullet. However, I know if I tell him, let's just do this, he'll think it's a phase - that I'll change my mind and it's my bipolar talking.

Please respond if you've been in a similar situation or if you have advice. I'm aware that I really shouldn't consider this and we probably need couples therapy to communicate about this. However, I'm nearly 36 and want to get the show on the road.

Comments (3)

Op do you and your dh (dear husband) want more children? You sound more like you just don't want to think about birth control anymore. Use condoms. This should be a discussion for you and your husband not just well lets just see what happens. Treat your mental illness and when you feel clear and stable for a while than consider with your dh. Couples therapy is good, do that first. 36, you still have time op. First get a real handle on your mental health. That is priority.

As someone who is 37 weeks pregnant with an "it's our anniversary, what the heck" baby, my advice is to think on it and not let the decision be based on how you are feeling in the moment.

I'm excited for baby #3, but at the same time, I knew even before getting pregnant that it was too soon. I kind of wonder if it would have been a more enjoyable experience if I had waited like 6-12 months.

I would talk to your husband and see where his head is at. Even at 36 years, few months to a year is not a life changing amount of time to wait to get pregnant, but it might make a world of difference to your mental health.

Ultimately no one can give you the right answer, but I wouldn't rush things if you have any doubts.

Don't deceive your husband. Make the decision together. Even if you skip this month, there's always next month if you decide to start trying. Talk it out, always. My DH (dear husband) and I are approaching our mid-30's so I know the "time's ticking" feeling. But don't make the decision without him.

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