This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

When you’re in the heat of an embarrassing moment, you might feel like you’re the only person on Earth. And yet, embarrassment is one of the most universal emotions. It’s exhibited by humans all around the world, and even by other species.[1] Many might consider embarrassment as an entirely negative emotion, but it actually serves an important social function when it comes time to figuring out who to trust and build relationships with.[2] Nevertheless, it's not good to let feelings of embarrassment take control and ruin experiences. To get over an embarrassing moment, learn to respond externally in a lighthearted way and minimize the incident internally. If you can't get past your embarrassment, consider if another underlying issue might be the cause. And beyond all else, keep in mind: rather than distancing you from everyone else around you, the capacity to experience embarrassment is actually one of the aspects of yourself that connects you to others the most.

Steps

Method1

Responding to the Incident

1

Laugh at yourself. Recent research suggests laughing and humor are both key components of health in general. [3] The easiest way to get over the anxiety produced from an embarrassing moment is thus to simply laugh at yourself and the situation that just occurred. This way, it's easier for others to laugh with you than at you.

The fact that you even get embarrassed is a great way to connect you to other people, as it’s something almost everyone has likely experienced at some point in their life.[4] If you are willing to laugh at yourself, an embarrassing moment can serve as a great jumping off point to sparking interesting conversations or making new friends.

You can also try making the situation funny. If you approach the situation with good humor, it will become less embarrassing and more like a light joke. For example, if you fall off your chair, say something like, "I do all my own stunts!"

2

Admit you were embarrassed. When an embarrassing moment happens, it's best to accept it. You can't go back in time, so what's the point of being in total denial? Admit to yourself – and others if appropriate – that you had an embarrassing moment. This can be a great way to start conversations with others, as they will likely have embarrassing moments to share with you as well. [5]

3

Explain why the moment occurred. There may be circumstances that cause your embarrassing moment which are understandable and explainable. For example, you may have called someone by the wrong name all day. But when you reflect on the incident, you realize that you’ve been thinking about another person quite a bit. [6]

For example, you could say, “I’m sorry I’ve been calling you Shawn. I have been thinking about a good friend of mine who is going through a rough time, and I’m a little distracted.”

4

Ask others to help you. Perhaps you spilled coffee all over some important papers at a meeting, or you tripped and dropped a stack of books on your principal’s foot. Ask the other person to help you pick up your things. This will redirect the situation away from your embarrassment to the task at hand.[7]

Method2

Minimizing the Incident

1

Take deep breaths. After an embarrassing moment has happened anxiety will tend to spike in most people. Blood rushes to the face, heart rate and blood pressure increase, shortness of breath occurs, and higher levels of perspiration starts to collect throughout much of the body.[8] To calm yourself down, take some deep breaths and reassess the situation. This will help with the physiological response that you experience (blushing, for example). It will also help you avoid saying or doing anything else that could add to the embarrassment factor. Take a minute to calm down, and then proceed.

2

Don't make a spectacle of yourself. The worst thing to do when an embarrassing moment happens is to make a huge scene about it. When an embarrassing moment happens, try to avoid screaming, shouting, running away on the brink of tears, or flat-out crying in public. The bigger a scene you make out of the moment, the more the moment will be engraved into people's minds. Keep in mind that it is just another moment that will quickly pass. If your reaction is mild, people are more likely to forget that anything ever happened.

3

Tell yourself that this moment wasn’t very embarrassing. You have to face the fact that something bad has just happened to you. But, remember, it's only embarrassing if you tell yourself it is. If you get over it and tell yourself it isn't, you won't feel embarrassed.

It’s likely the case that you are much more critical of yourself than anyone else. Psychologists have found that in cases of anxiety or embarrassment, people tend to become overly preoccupied with themselves to the extent that they greatly overestimate how much everyone else is actually paying attention to them. [9]

With this in mind, if an embarrassing moment happened to you, it’s probably the case that anyone who was around you was paying more attention to themselves than to you.

4

Do something to distract yourself. After the embarrassing moment, do something to get your mind off of it. Try reading, playing your favorite sport, watching TV, listening to music, etc. Turning your attention to an activity prevents you from focusing on your embarrassing moment.

5

Take a lesson from the embarrassing moment. Okay, so you've been embarrassed, but take it as a lesson and learn from it. Did you trip and fall in front of your crush? Avoid wearing high heels. Did you pass out while giving a speech? Research how to calm your nerves before giving a presentation.

Method3

Addressing an Underlying Issue

1

Reflect on your emotions that stem from this moment. Keep in mind that you can learn about yourself by what you get embarrassed by. Think about the situation you were in. Ask yourself, “What was it about that situation that made me embarrassed?” It might not always simply be about the people you were actually around.[10]

For example, if you get overly embarrassed after failing at something you are typically very good at, you might be setting overly high expectations for yourself. In each moment of embarrassment, reflect on what your emotion can tell you about your expectations of yourself and others in general.

2

Consider whether or not you might have an anxiety disorder. While the title of this article is how to get over an embarrassing moment, certain people tend to have embarrassing moments quite a lot. It might even happen every day. If embarrassing moments seem to come up for you continuously, without your control, it could be the case that you have a social phobia. This is actually a type of anxiety disorder that has been shown to be highly correlated with persistent emotions of embarrassment. This makes it very difficult for you to simply get over embarrassing moments when they occur.[11]

If you can’t seem to simply shake off embarrassing emotions when they arise, and they seem to be coming up for you a lot, consider taking steps towards treating yourself for anxiety.

3

See a mental health counselor. If you feel there may be underlying issues that cause your embarrassment to be more severe than normal, it can help to talk with a counselor. This person can help you figure out your emotions and understand why you feel this way. He can also give you strategies for how to reduce the level of embarrassment that you feel.

4

Practice mindfulness meditation. If you can’t stop thinking about the embarrassing moment, try meditating. Remember, the embarrassing moment is in the past. Try to keep yourself in the present. Mindfulness meditation is a technique that helps you be aware and nonjudgmental about your thoughts and emotions. It can be helpful to keep your thoughts about the embarrassing moment from taking over.[12], [13]

Acknowledge that this is a temporary feeling. Say to yourself, "I know this feeling is temporary. It will subside. What do I need for myself right now?" Give yourself space and validation for your feelings, but recognize that your thoughts and responses may distort the reality of the situation.

Bring your attention and awareness back to your breath. As further thoughts pass through your mind, repeat the process to acknowledge them and let them go.

You can also search online for guided mindfulness meditation exercises.

Community Q&A

Search

Question

How can I handle a situation where I am late to class and everyone looks at me?

Community Answer

This is a common situation, so there's no need to be embarrassed. Take a deep breath, apologize for being late and take your seat. Before you know it class will have started and everyone will have already forgotten about it.

When I was in bathroom, I didn't lock the door and it was opened by one of my relatives. How do get over the embarrassment of facing him?

Community Answer

Don't let your embarrassment show. Act normal around him, treat it like it never happened. If you act like it wasn't a big deal, he might just forget it (if he even did remember). Remember to not be awkward, because it might just instantly remind him of the incident, when he might've already forgotten about it.

Talk about it to someone you're close to. It always help to talk about it. Most of all, don't dwell on it -- there are far many more experiences to come in life, don't let this one chew up your future.

What can I do if someone posted an unflattering picture of me on a group chat?

Community Answer

If you're in school report it to a teacher, because it's an invasion of privacy, but this only counts if you told them that they don't show anyone, or if they took the picture without your permission. If it's friends, ask them to be nice and remember that you'd do the same for them. If it's for adults, ask politely for the removal and remind them that you would like to keep your reputation respected and that you'd do the same for them.

If it was something like falling down, it will probably be pretty easy to just ignore it, but if it was really embarrassing, just act like it never happened. Most of all, if someone mentions it, laugh about it and mention that it was funny then but now it's "so yesterday" and come up with someone else's latest silly antics.

How do I get over the experience of having my voice break during a brief solo in front of a large audience?

Community Answer

A lot of vocalists pretend they are very emotional or act like they are about to cry when their voice breaks on accident. Pretend that you are emotional, and it will make the voice break seem less unprofessional and make you seem very passionate. But the past is the past; remember that all good musicians have had their bad performances. Even big celebrity musicians have their voices crack on stage (some even forget their own lyrics). You have to make mistakes in order to grow as a person; messing up allows you to perfect your skill.

How do I face someone in my college class that I sent texts and voice notes to while drunk saying that I like them?

Community Answer

Just say that you were drunk and someone egged you on to do that and that while it seemed funny at the time, you now realize how rude and thoughtless it was and that they are worth more than your rude lewdness and that you apologize fully. They'll be so taken aback that you've turned this into a matter-of-fact apology that they'll soon come to realize that you don't actually mean what was in the text.

↑Muris, P., & Meesters, C. (2013). Small or Big in the Eyes of the Other: On the Developmental Psychopathology of Self-Conscious Emotions as Shame, Guilt, and Pride. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 17(1), 19–40. http://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-013-0137-z

Article Info

FEATURED ARTICLE

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

"This article helped me so much!!!! Last season I was playing one of my soccer games and the other team had a corner kick. But when they kicked the ball, it bounced of my shoulder and into the goal. I was really embarrassed about it and upset. I spent hours trying to find a legit advice source and wikiHow was by far the best.Thanks wikiHow!"..." more

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Anonymous

May 17, 2017

"I exaggerated my past experiences to my new boss and when she grilled me about my achievement, I was totally at a loss to back up my claims. I was mortified and she must have thought I was a blatant weirdo. Just laughing at it has helped."..." more

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Anonymous

Jan 17, 2018

"I just embarrassed myself in front of the entire school because I am on the cheer team and I started to do a back walkover but fell. I didn't know what to do and didn't now how to cope with it, but now I do. Thanks, wikiHow."..." more

NW

Nikki Williams

Nov 15, 2018

"This article helped me a lot; thank you so much for this! I had one of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life! After reading this, I managed to accept it and laughed it off with everyone else."..." more

Rated this article:

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Anonymous

Jul 28, 2017

"Minimizing the incident. Tell yourself that this incident wasn't very embarrassing. When an embarrassing moment has happened to you, people around you were paying more attention to themselves than you."..." more

A

Anonymous

Oct 4, 2016

"How to laugh at yourself in embarrassing moments works. It makes you feel better and it sparks up a conversation and makes you feel like the comedian that everyone wants to be around."..." more

KS

Keisha Sanyal

Sep 26, 2017

"Just stay calm and don't let the embarrassing situation affect you at all. If anyone tries to joke about it, just laugh it off, it shows that you don't care about the moment anymore."..." more

A

Anonymous

Jul 26, 2016

"I think the advice that helped me was letting yourself know the incident wasnt that big of a deal. I tried that and the people I was around just laughed it off."..." more

MM

Mariah M.

Jan 27, 2017

"Imagine what you would think if something embarrassing happened to someone else, would you think it's a big deal? Thinking that helps me every time!"..." more

JB

Jackuline Bomba

May 4, 2016

"Helped by telling me to breathe and think of something that's not embarrassing. It calmed me down, I would give this article a five-star rating!"..." more

A

Anonymous

Jul 20, 2016

"Do something to distract you is probably my favorite tip here. I usually play video games or something that I like to do to distract myself."..." more

FA

Fatima Ahmed

Sep 22, 2016

"In this article I got to learn how I should really deal with the embarrassing moment that I have. I just want to say thank you to wikiHow."..." more

A

Anonymous

Sep 11, 2017

"''Minimizing the incident'' was really helpful, especially taking a lesson from it, not making a huge deal out of it, and distraction. :)"..." more

AS

A. S.

Apr 19, 2017

"I like that the info is clear and helpful. Liked the way of responding to the questions asking for advice. "

A

Anonymous

May 12, 2017

"What sounded important and helpful was admitting that you have been embarrassed and over coming it. "

AM

Aysha M.

Apr 27, 2017

"It helped keep me from thinking about it and feeling uncomfortable for the whole day."

CM

Connie Myerd

Apr 25, 2016

"Helped me realize that my anxiety was not the result of a situation, but the cause."

A

Anonymous

Aug 20, 2016

"Deep breaths, laughing at yourself, and admitting you are embarrassed all help."