Oct 14, 2010

Over the past few years I´ve noticed a change growing from within. At first I thought I was just getting older, maybe even wiser, but certainly a lot more outspoken/critical in the way I view and deal with people, places and things around me...people, places and things that I´ve experienced to be both good and bad according to my own experience...ah, the experience of making many choices I´ve made over the years...they we´re mostly dependent on much review/rechecking facts, feelings and instincts but that didn´t always lead to sensible decisions as I often overthought-out myself as I tried to control outcomes instead of just using my good senses and letting life flow more naturally.

I´ve always been on overload with sensitivies and I spent years in my youth being defensive and trying to protect my ¨being¨...quite often I distorted reality in order to cover myself with seeming good rationale. My really good ¨feelings¨ haven´t always been reliable/valid or even close to always determining the actual ¨situation¨ happening around me even though I´m very perceptive, I do have a vivid imagination that can fog reality up....and then there is overly-wishful thinking.

For over thirty years now I´ve kept a closer eye on me, my emotions, my sensitivities and done quite a lot of regular everyday self-searching while trying to see ¨all sides¨ instead of focusing so much on quick perceptions...I´ve tried to relax a bit, do some deep breathing/thinking and be more understanding, wise, tolerant and patient...I´ve let much of the fear go along the way, and I can see better.

HONORING WISE FEELINGS

I´m going back to relying more on my feelings again. I´ve got loads of common sense and a somewhat uncany practical ability to ¨hit the nail on the head¨ ...I´m returning to honoring my feelings in all my affairs--let the chips fall where they may--I´m no longer willing to play ¨let´s make a deal¨ or ¨peek a boo¨ with myself or anyone else.

Outcomes will be what they will and I trust that I won´t insist or demand anything that ought not be reasonable in life but I won´t be turning my head away from blatant nonsense that crosses my path.

I feel better already.

I´ve discussed this with a longtime wise and trusted friend last night (who also is a experienced psychologist). It´s clear I´ve reached a different level of maturity in these past years and this is the last time I intend to explain myself or overly analyze my perfectly good, throughly evaluated, sense of fair-play instincts...actions will now speak much louder than words (or endless evaluating)...I´ll clean any mistakes along the way.

Puerto Rican Americans marching and celebrating on 5th Avenue, New York City, during the annual Puerto Rican Day Parade Sen. Patrick Le...

REAL HERO/REAL LIFE: Bishop John Shelby Spong

“I was simply interpreting a rising consciousness,” he said. “Whether it was race or women or homosexual people, the issue was always the same: fighting against anything that dehumanizes a child of God on the basis of an external characteristic.” Bishop John Shelby Spong (click on his photo)

¨Churches say that the expression of love in a heterosexual monogamous relationship includes the physical, the touching, embracing, kissing, the genital act - the totality of our love makes each of us grow to become increasingly godlike and compassionate. If this is so for the heterosexual, what earthly reason have we to say that it is not the case with the homosexual?¨ Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu