Poetry: Big Rainbow (2005)

I suffer from a terrible affliction of the mind
I haven’t found a soul that takes of me in kind
I don’t feel for you, you don’t feel for me
It’s as though we’re on different planes
I’ve no way to explain all these aches and pains

My heart is under stress/ Under daily duress
Nostalgia and attachment are causing this whole mess
Delusion too, I feel, in everything I do

Seclusion, constriction, just a way to cut me off
I’m drowning in my lonliness
And it’s you that holds me down

There’s dire consequences to all we say and do
I haven’t begun to express any of this to you
My bones are tired, my flesh is withered
/my lips are cracked and burned

Living in a world without fire or energy
If not for you, I’d not have come this far
I thought of myself reborn
But it was through you it happened

I once had a druid character named “Big Rainbow” for a short-lived D&D campaign. I was tired and a little out of it, and I decided on a whim that my character would be mute. I told the DM what my character was doing, described her actions, but never spoke directly to the other characters. It was fun.

Anyway, when they asked me my name, I made these vague gestures, like charades, and let them guess what my name was. They went with “big” and “rainbow” for the two movements I made — I had something else in mind, but the name stuck. Her name was a lot more memorable than the character herself. *shrug*