Monday, April 21, 2008

Lets Stalk Stryne

As pregnant mum's to be and mother's of the newborn, we agonise over the choice of a name for our little bundles of joy. I particularly went for names that had the least opportunity for alteration - alas, twas not to be. In the great tradition of changing things for the sake of it, Australians, like many others are compulsed to award a nickname. Finding pseudonyms for people I know on the blog isn't hard, most of them are in fact their nicknames. In my family alone we have: Poider, Stressany, Hanule, JimmyD, Red, Baino, Abe, Nell, Doo Doo, Twoneth and Maddie, only Joel seems to have escaped an alternate moniker. My best friend is Thommo and others BikerGirl, Overall, Kaz and TheParra. Then there's Bumper, Crispy, Toddles and Westy, Cheeky, Benchwarmer, Mattie, Crofty, Doona and more . . in fact not a single friend of mine is addressed by their proper name with the exception of some of the younger girls. Shame really . . but pressure's off younglings, when you become parents, you needn't worry about the spelling of Aleisha, Alicia, Alysha or Aleesha . . .she'll get Ally, Leish or named after some characteristic. If she has red hair, she'll be a Bluey, blonde she'll be Snowy . . big ears a Wingnut . . and your little Sean or Shaun will be Shorty if he's tall, Stretch if he's short.

The Rules

Any word with three syllables or more is far to risky if you have to pronounce under the influence or in a hurry - it must therefore be shortened

Maximum irony or sarcasm must be employed at all times

The endings "o" "y" and "a" are preferred above all others, but are not exclusive.

The words thus formed must be frequently used in conjunction with swear words found offensive in most English speaking cultures

Now you've got the rules, let's see about the application. Here is couple of non-exhaustive lists of words or concepts and their Australian equivalents.

Proper Names

David Stephen, John, Benjamin become Davo ("dave-o"), Stevo, Johnno, Benno etc. Note that "Johnny" is a term of utter contempt and never used except as such.

Darren, Warren, Lauren become Dazza, Wazza, Lozza etc. The "a" ending sound is always drawn out for dramatic effect. Wazzaaaaa! This may seem like a contradiction of the "shorter" rule - until you think about the ease of drunken or exhuberant pronounciation

Arrrrgggghhhhh . . . now you've got me in a spin! What Skype chat? Tardy is as Tardy does . . as long as it isn't Barbara - From the Greek barbaros meaning foreign or strange, traveler from a foreign land -

About seven or eight years ago at a meeting of our rifle team folks were pointing out that all of our names had been shortened with the exception of myself and Sean. We have Mikey, Chucky, Denny, Bobby, Billy G., Tommy, Freddy, Dickey, Ricky and so on. They were all making up silly names for Sean and myself. I came up with Seanetta, which stuck and I got hung with Fitzy.

You know, I've never had a nickname. Really, never. Aside from taking my given name, Katherine, and shortening it right away, my parents never called me anything but Kate. Friends and family, too. A few attempts were made, by myself, because the idea of a nickname was appealing, but nothing ever stuck.

Ryan: Shows what you know. . .I've pinned the binge drinking usual suspects as Abe, Lemmers, Smelly, Supergeek, and Snowjob! You work out which is which. Add Nicknames to your Facebook!

Brianf: I'm amazed you haven't had a barage of the "ginger-" prefixes! Here you'd be bluey, boofhead, Septic and of course defo Fitzy. Although if you played NRL may well get Plugger or Tank. Adding a "Y" is more acceptable for surnames here, adding to a first name is considered a bit girly unless it's done by your mother or girlf.

Kate: You're a classic version of the 'shortening' of first names. My best friend named her daughter Katherine with a 'K' rather than a 'C' because she knew she'd be called Kate. Then we all called her "Poss". Go figure.

BrianD: A statement on your origins and your lifestyle, not bad but too much of a mouthful I'll have to work on something. "Pwner" perhaps although Damage works a treat.

Ah C'mon Ian . . seriously? You're Rev or Polly! No Brainer!

My nickname is NOT Baino by the way . . that honour goes to ClareBear! And the best I've ever heard, "Giblets".

Quicky: To right! We'd have a ball with that one . . say it in an Aussie accent "Endawhatsupyourarse", "Endadays", "Endawhereyoufrom?", "Endanotherone" the possibilities are Endaless! Although with the total lack of Australian giveashit, you'd probbaly be called Mick, Paddy or Hiself.

My nickname in college was Dog Butt. It got so I didn't answer when my teachers used my given name and one of my classmates would have to yell, "Hey, Dog Butt!" to get my attention. This name stemmed from a friend rubbing the back of my head after I had it cut short. He said, "You feel like my dog's butt!" I told him to get his hand out of my hair.

Aw Melissa! That's awful. I'd have told him more than to get his hands out of my hair! You'd be Mel, Melly, Smelly Melly or something of that ilk! My friend Melissa is 'Min' ... not sure where that came from?

All About Me! (Well almost)

Comment Protocol

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