"I don't expect you to believe me, but they're all thanked on that Dixie Chicks CD."--Chris Kelly

"All the cute, available guys."--Dale Shuger

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Randy's Wrap-Up

It is instinctive to reject a patriotic list of Official Enemies. The more these authorized villains are shot at in Stallone-Schwartzenegger-Willis-Gibson movies, the more one wants to be a drug dealer or terrorist when he grows up. Hollywood does glamorize everything. (Except maybe Laurence Fishburne--what was he rambling on about in The Matrix? I dozed a bit there.)

It is harder to rebuff a national enemies list when bombs are falling, particularly when those enemies are implicated in appalling deeds. It might, however, be possible to resist the grossest forms of jingoism. Consider how badly certain World War II songs have aged--"I'm Going To Slap That Dirty Little Jap." And those wartime Warner Bros. cartoons where Bugs Bunny battles grotesque caricatures of the Japanese--they don't quite hold up.

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So how to prevent outrage at human suffering from tilting toward vile stereotyping? One guideline: The more that anchormen get all huffy, the more you must be on your guard. When Dan Rather reaches for the adjectives, be careful out there.

Demonizing Answer

This is a list of terms used to refer to the NATO alliance and its members, by order of the Serbian Information Ministry, reports Steven Erlanger in the New York Times.

On Serbian television, President Clinton has been referred to as Bill Hitler, Adolf Clinton, and Führer.

Augmented Quotations Extra

Each final sentence added by News Quiz.

"There is absolutely no evidence of cancer in his body. We were, however, able to remove a large house cat that seemed to be making Minister Farrakhan cranky and anti-Semitic."--Dr. Abdul Alim Muhammad, on Louis Farrakhan's successful surgery.

"I shudder at the idea they will leave this haven. They are trusting. They don't understand danger. They could end up inside the large intestine of Minister Farrakhan.--Stefania Caruso on the homeless cats of San Clemente, a small island near Venice, Italy.

"There's no scarring mark physically or mentally. Not like when we spank their delicious bare bottoms with that nasty paddle ... ooooh!"--George W. Bushin a 1967 story about branding fraternity pledges with a hot wire hanger, as recalled by Maureen Dowd.

"I know there are going to be people who are cynical about this. I've been mayor of New York City for too long not to realize that people will be cynical about any good step that's made in the direction of decency. Idiots like that should be shot 41 times!"--New York's Mayor Giulianion imaginary criticism of his plan to give police officers wallet-sized cards listing tips on interacting with the public. He seemed upset. It could be some kind of feline intestinal blockage.