Become the Ultimate Grumpy Cat With the Cat Ears Self-Defense Keychain

Grumpy cat? He’s nothing. You know you are dealing with a real mad cat when you get stabbed by their ears in a back alley somewhere. That is apparently what this self-defense keychain is all about.

It turns out that a cat’s pointy ears are a pretty effective weapon. This keychain lets you carry around a very effective stabbing tool that looks like cat ears. Meow! Die! The cat’s face comfortably fits into your hand and it comes in several colors so that it will match your outfit. I’d suggest wearing red to match the dripping blood.

It’s available from Wicked Clothes for just $5.99(USD). It is cheap, deadly and shaped like a kitty. It’s also not available in a number of states or outside of the U.S., and you must be over 18 to order due to weapons laws.