Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in Jello.

Even if you cut off a cockroach’s head, it can live for several weeks.

The world population of chickens is about equal to the number of people.

Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured iced water over his head.

About 70% of Americans who go to college do it just to make more money.

It’s against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.

Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.

Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.

Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the western Pacific.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Mosquitoes have teeth.

Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.

When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food.

Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.

A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

A duck’s quack doesn’t echo. Why does no one know why?

The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple, and silver.

The name Wendy was made up for the book ‘Peter Pan’. There was never a recorded Wendy before.

Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow film down so you could see his moves.

The first CD pressed in the USA was Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born in the USA’.

The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

The phrase ‘Rule of thumb’* is derived from an old English law which stated that you

couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

Sherlock Holmes never said ‘Elementary, my dear Watson’.

The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.

Not to mention the other drawback to passing gas in such a confined space………………

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat.” -Conan O’Brien

“The mayor of Boston actually had to issue a statement yesterday telling residents to stop jumping from their second-story windows and rooftops into giant piles of snow. Do NOT do that at home…unless you have a camera ready.” -Jimmy Fallon

“United Airlines just announced a new plan where you will have to pay to store a carry-on in the overhead bin. What’s next? ‘In case of a water landing, your seat can be used as a flotation device for only $129. Major credit cards accepted.'” -James Corden

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

My husband David’s colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, “Get me out!”

“Don’t worry,” David replied, “Maintenance should be sending somebody.”

“They did,” said the voice.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I believe in America.”ANSWER: The Godfather! In the opening scene of the movie, we see Salvatore Corsitto (Bonasera), telling Marlon Brando the story of his daughter being beaten up by her friends, and asking the Godfather if he could help Bonasera out.

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Come to Los Angeles. The sun shines bright.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you break this code?

Shift three. Caps lock one. Shift six.

Tab six. Tab nine. Tab seven.

Tab four. Tab three. Caps lock one. Caps lock three.

Tab five. Caps lock six. Tab eight. Caps lock two. Shift 10.

ANSWER: It spells out “Can you read this?” Use your keyboard like a grid. Tab, caps lock and shift are the vertical side of the grid and one through nine are the horizontal side of the grid. For example shift five would be B.

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Below you will find five uncommon titles to five well-known Alfred Hitchcock movies. How many can you decipher?