"Come any closer texting Lexus driver and my Bumps of Despair will eff you up."

The City Hall staffers who last year tried to toss road blocks in the path of a City Council plan to stripe 840 miles of bike lanes in Dallas -- that's 840 miles more than what the city has now -- might be pleasantly surprised by part of what Gil Penalosa will have to say at his "Urban Bike Systems" presentation at 6 p.m. today at 1500 Marilla. (UPDATE: Everyone's invited.) Turns out that Penalosa, an internationally renowned advocate for making cities more pedestrian- and bike-friendly, doesn't like those stripes either.

Don't even bother mixing paint, he says. Stripes don't work.

And what about dedicated hike-and-bike paths like Dallas' beloved Katy Trail?

Nice enough but ... meh.

"A bikeway is nothing," Penalosa told Unfair Park on Tuesday when we reached him as he was preparing to board a plane in Austin, on his way here after another speech.

His thoughts on striping might please city bureaucrats who claimed last year that painting bike-lanes is too expensive, too legally entangled, too impossible in Dallas.

The rest of his message, however, will likely have them and a good chunk of car-loving Dallas doing spit takes.

"This is not about painting lines," says Penalosa, executive director of the Ontario-based 8-80 Cities, which promotes creating livable, park-filled cities filled with walkers and bikers. "This is about creating a physically protected area."

By that, he means building lanes that offer cyclists more protection from a texting Suburban driver than a strip of paint provides, by adding things like bollards and other traffic dividers. And he's not talking about a few recreational paths, either: If a city like Dallas really intends to get more people biking and walking, Penalosa says, it must have miles and miles of interconnected lanes like those.

"You need to create a grid that actually connects places of origin to places of destination," including links to public rail and bus lines, says Penalosa. That means that bikes could become a means of functional transportation, instead of a chance for dedicated recreational riders to show off how nifty they look in spandex and loud cycling jerseys. Things like more bike racks, striped lanes and bike trails are "nice to have," he says, but they only serve people who are cycling already. "There's not a city in the world that has more than 10 percent of the population cycling that doesn't have protected lanes," he says.

The point is, he says, bike proponents need to stop assuming that everyone is 30 and athletic fit. Biking and walking to work, parks, stores and schools is something everyone from age 8 to 80 should be able to do safely -- hence the name of his organization.

And there's more: Speed limits on neighborhood streets should be lowered to 20 mph or less. About 100,000 pedestrians are injured in traffic annually in the United States, he says, and 20 mph is a good, survivable number.

Then there's this: Eliminate right turns on red, he says. Install more street lights, and time to give pedestrians a fighting chance to cross the street before becoming a grill ornament. Intersections and arterial streets should be redesigned to improve sight lines and allow safe, easy use by pedestrians and cyclists.

Naturally, Unfair Park wondered if Penalosa, the former commissioner of Parks, Sports and Recreation in Bogota, Colombia, had ever been to Dallas. We pointed out that our recent big, shiny, new Calatrava bridge doesn't even allow pedestrians.

Turns out, Penalosa has been to Dallas a few times -- "I don't think Dallas has done enough," he says -- and he knows a few things about Texas too. It's population is booming, expected to increase by about 30 percent by 2030, according to U.S. Census projections. Without a change in culture, that will be a population of fatties -- around 1 in 3 Texans are obese now, he says. And, of course, the state's air is polluted, its cities' freeways jammed.

In other words, we're going to be rebuilding a good chunk of our cities anyway to accommodate all those new bodies, so why not start building urban spaces that are healthier and less enslaved to cars? Dedicated bike grids, lower speed limits, more parks and more walkable communities isn't a revolution. It's urgent, and patience and excuses are not an option in the face of a demographic onslaught and health crisis.

"This is not a financial issue, and this is not a technical issue," Penalosa says. "This is a political issue ... any Calatrava bridge is more expensive than bike lanes."

Other cities have stepped up to adopt these schemes, he says, from Chicago and New York to Seville, Spain, which, he points out, has a hot climate like Dallas'. In 2006, he claims, 0.2 percent of Seville's population were cyclists. In three years, the city created 100 miles of protected bike lanes and that number hit 6.6 percent; the goal is to reach 15 percent in the coming years.

What those cities and others had, was political leadership willing to step up and lead.

"Politicians are afraid of being pioneers because they are afraid of being shot in the back," Penalosa says.

True. And in Dallas, the guy with the gun might just be working at City Hall.

Boy I'm sorry I got to this topic late....it's one of my favorites! I have a simple solution:

-Ride yer f+cking bike on the biketrail like everyone else.

Thank you.

ps-And take off that stupid gear, you look like freakin' fat Lance amrstrong. We just now decided we wanted to be a "bike city"? Normally this is done, oh, 30 years before the city grows above one million. Hey, guess what? Houston would like to be a "mountain city".

When I was growing up, the lane dividers (for left turn lanes and the like) had these humongous yellow spherical cast iron thingies, if you hit one you really knew it. They can still be seen in a few places.

Bike lanes for bikers? Are these suppose to keep bikers safe and motor traffic from running over them? ALL TO OFTEN I see a biker of one or packs of bikers who continually DISOBEY TRAFFIC LAWS (running stop signs, red lights, taking up entire lanes turning because they believe they are in the olympic race), then they look at you with that 'what is your problem?'. You bikers would be a lot safer I believe if you showed more SENSE, and common courtesy on the road!! Granted I have seen bikers who do obey traffic laws, but in my observations it's 60/40 who do not. Put the money into 'repairing the roads for the many and not putting money into something for the few who believe they are entitled.!!

SUPER simple, inexpensive solution: Teach Cyclists how to behave like responsible drivers. You think BIKE LANES are expensive? HOLY CRAP, see how expensive those divided bollard lanes really are. Is NO ONE in City Hall paying attention to the COST involved? Good Lord.

The idea that Dallas can grow endlessly in its population of both cars and people without any changes to our current infrastructure is puzzling at best. The question isn't whether we'll see changes it's what form those changes will take. 30% more lanes for the 30% more people and presumably even more than 30% more cars at our current pace? More freeways? Freeways in parks? Or will the changes take the form of investments in efforts to get a sizable percentage of people to move themselves around differently, freeing up the roads and creating more effective transportation for drivers, bikers, walkers, mass transit riders, and links between these areas? Thus the point almost every poster and respondent seems to be missing is that WE WILL BE SPENDING THE MONEY. The question is HOW.

Effectively investing in alternative means of transportation is thus not a 'stupid' waste of money but rather the wisest decision this city and region could make. How many more lanes to we want to add to highways for example? That's valuable real estate that becomes a tax drain rather than positive when compared with the home or business which would otherwise occupy that spot. In addition, demographic changes and perceptions of what kind of infrastructure qualify as positives for a good quality of life (hint: car-only cities do not, even with cheap houses) are added reasons to diversify our transportation options. The funny thing about this debate, as with many occurring in the US at the moment frankly, is that we can look around the world at other cities and know that investing in bike lanes and mass transit rather than purely in cars works...Yet despite bike and other infrastructure being relatively cheap compared to major highway and bridge construction or maintenance, it remains baffling to see silly little spats over anecdotes on 'what I saw a dude on a bike do' vs. 'what I saw a dude in a car do' might get in the way of our 'can do city' actually DOING what other cities with similar climates and obstacles have accomplished despite the known benefits to quality of life etc.

In Dallas and most other cities across Texas, property taxes are used to fund road repairs & improvements. Therefore, even if you don't drive, you pay for roads. Unfortunately, the true cost to maintain and roads to accomodate all the people moving to Texas requires, that gasoline taxes be increased to about $.90 a gallon vs the current $.36 to keep even. To make any true progress in reducing congestion, the cost would be even more.

In the long run, it would be cheaper to encourage biking to and from work, encourage businesses to provide changing facilities etc. A side benefit, health care costs would go down and people might move closer to work.

But but but.... we need the $$ for a toll road that runs through the flood plain... and cuts way back on that green space the city was supposed to "reclaim" and turn into parks and rapids.... *rolls eyes

What the gracious is people's problem with Spandex? Do you get mad at runners who wear fuel belts? Soccer players in cleats? It's not strictly necessary, but it helps streamline a cyclist, increases the visibility of said cyclist and wicks away sweat without chafing. It's not a sign of an impending apocalypse.

I am a car driver and cyclist. Before we do any of this stuff, I think we need to get people (both drivers and cyclists) to follow the fracking rules of the road. I see cyclists blow stop signs and traffic signals. I see drivers turn from non-turn lanes. I see cyclists who cause extra congestion by riding on major thoroughfares in rush hour traffic. I also see drivers who do the same thing when either they or their vehicles are not capable of keeping up with the flow of traffic.

Let's just do what they do in Paris. The bicycle lanes are the same as the bus lanes. It works there perfectly. But they are much more dispassionate about transportation. It's a way of getting somewhere.

I'm all for giving bikers right of way on roads...but....I pay for these shitty roads. I have to get my car inspected every year, my registration, insurance so that I can even drive on these roads legally, and of course, gas that is taxed at, what, 38 cents per gallon? What I don't like about bikers...1.they don't follow the same road rules. Red light means we all stop, even if no cars are coming. Same goes for stop signs. Instead of waiting behind you when you're at said stop sign or light, they go on your side, pass you, and then you have to change lanes when you catch up to them. If we're sharing the lane, get your ass behind me.2. biking during rush hour. Yes Chris Chris, I know you want to get your 40 mile ride in, but can you wait until after 9am? And then get it done before 4pm? Taking up a lane on a 2-3 lane road is your right, but I would like to get home to my family a few minutes faster if at all possible.3. All the expensive stuff I pay for mentioned above that you don't pay, but we share the road. Well, at least with all that money saved you can get that badass composite frame bike.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a couple more things that bother me and when I remember them I'll be sure to post them.

Actually, the 'investment' in bike lanes in other cities is breaking their budgets, and as always, people move out to the burbs when the core city gets overtaxed. There is no burb tax. Portland's $640m plan with total out-migration from the city itself will leave it bankrupt and dependent on the federal teat. Is that what you want? More federal taxes? Segregated lanes? Dude, just drive your darned bike!

Put up the 'Bicycles Use Full Lane - Change Lanes to Pass' signs, install Cyclist education programs at all of the rec centers in town, fund it for a decade, do lots of Public Service Announcements to promote it, work with local bike shops on promoting it, and call it a day. That will impact more cyclists, for less money, with longer impacts, than going out there and throwing all sorts of infrastructure ideas up that will NOT impact the increase in cycling one whit. Dallas is prosperous precisely because traffic actually flows and commerce is more free. Seriously. It's not a sociological issue. It's not an access issue. You can ride just about anywhere you want, given Dallas' grid pattern and sight lines. If you have any questions about that, drop your own dogma and come out with us for a 'Critical manners' ride, or take a Cycling Savvy class. You'll be surprised at just how easy it is to get around, in Dallas, in traffic, with NO infrastructure changes.

Dallas is pretty spread out. I live in Plano, so biking isn't feasible. Is biking to a train and then getting off and biking again? Maybe, but commuting directly to and from work is not possible. Even with more people coming into the area, due to technology, more and more jobs are going virtual. My job can be done virtual, but my boss likes seeing my smiling face and wittiness in the office every day. Maybe we should educate the older generation that is in upper management? The money saved on overhead to "house" workers you can virtualize is pretty substantial, with the fringe benefits being less congestion on our roads.

I don't know enough people that live close enough to work to bike. In my office, I live the closest and I'm 10 miles away. You think I want to bring my swamp ass and body odor into the office and inconvenience my coworkers from May-October? Nah. I don't want anyone bringing said swamp ass and b.o. into my office.

It's mainly the perception that cyclists seem to be very intent on looking the part, no matter their level of competence. Nobody disputes the function of the shorts, but it's the whole package head-to-toe that screams "I'm serious, dammit!" even if their extra chunkiness is bulging out their racing top.

I'm a runner. Not a very good one, but I run. The only special thing I bought to run was the shoes. I make the same under my breath comments about runners in singlets and running shorts who jog in place at a stop light. Some people appear to be trying too hard, and while it may be a perception issue only, bicyclists seem to be trying way too hard.

99.9% of the cyclists riding in Dallas don't need professional cycling gear. If you're trying to shave a few seconds off your stage in the Tour then maybe, but otherwise you just look like an arrogant, pretentious ass. I like to jog and swim but I don't feel the need to go out and buy expensive Olympic competition quality gear to do it in because I'm self-aware enough to know that I'm just doing it for fun and exercise and I don't need all that crap.

Those "mall-walking dipshits" as you say are in my neighborhood as well and you know what they have just as much right to walk as the arrogant "cyclists". They are elderly people, kids, and people walking there dogs. Oh and you know what I have not heard about any law that says people can't walk and talk on the phone at the same time. Last time I checked the holier than tho "cyclists" are supposed to yield to them. I don't have bike lanes where I live so we all have to share the road. The "cyclists" at least 90% or them think they own the road they never stop at stop signs, they zoom by little kids and people out for a nice walk with there dogs eveyday. River Legacy park is less than a mile from my neighborhood. I ask you why can't these "cyclists" put their little bikes on their cute little car racks and drive down there and ride to their hearts content?

I bike a lot and I apologize for cyclists for shitty manners. I stopped riding with the Richardson Bike Mart group rides because they run too many stop lights / signs. What I don't expect is an apology from the 10X greater amount of shitty drivers. How many cars do you see come to an actual stop at stop signs or go remotely near the speed limit? Everyone on the road scoffs laws but for some reason it's evil when cyclists do it.

I pay all the same taxes for my car except I don't have your smug sense of entitlement. Everyone wants to get somewhere, you are not special and there are numerous other ways you can spend 3 more minutes with your family than have an aneurysm over somebody out for a ride. You really should be upset with those indigents that take the bus. Those scum don't have bikes or cars. Pay taxes? They get social services, that's like negative taxes. RAGE!!!

Uh oh, I pissed off another bike fruit again.........only the truth stings with such a vengeance. You people are SO impractical. I want the city to build me a stairway to space, but, guess what? It's impractical! Get over it already.

hi, you should check out the commuter forum on dorba.org, if you want a safe, non-causing congestion bike route to work they usually have a lot of good ideas. I live in Plano too, work in Richardson and have about a 10.7 mile bike commute. Thanks to the trails and new bike routes in Plano I have a very easy bike commute to work that takes me mainly through trails and neighborhoods. I use action wipes to wipe down, and of course i have a rack and pannier so my back doesn't get too sweaty. Also I don't pedal very hard because i'm just commuting, not really trying to set any bike world records...

I can shower in the morning before my 15 mile ride to work, change into my work clothes when I get to my office and no one ever knows I rode my bike. you're just talking shit about something never tried.

Many cyclists wear gawdy garb so that vehicle traffic will see them. Form follows function in that regard. Stupid looking? Sure. But safe(r). Plus, it's nearly impossible to find cycling clothes locally that are not plastered with logos. Pearl Izumi makes logo free clothes but are often $300 or more for a jersey and shorts. 3x what a regular fugly get-up NASCAR looking jersey costs. So you're stuck wearing clothes with a bunch of weird German, Italian and Belgian company names you've never heard of. You'll also find that within a few minutes of finishing a ride nearly everyone sheds their cycling garb for casual street clothes. Strange how people are so quick to pre-judge others based on what they wear. I often ride in a group comprised of a plumber, brain surgeon, two attorneys and an ex-con guy who drives a dump truck. None of us have anything in common except riding. Which is cool.

Cyclists can own the lane on anything less than 14'. Cyclists have the right to ride 2 abreast. That doesn't mean they can't pull over or yield if it's safe and practical (it's called "Control and Release"), but it's not being rude when you control your lane. A bike is a vehicle, a cyclist is a driver. Courtesy goes both ways.

www.cyclingsavvydfw.org. Class is the 27th and 28th. Come see what it's all about. It'll change your opinion. I promise.

As cyclist said, the clothing has a purpose. The shorts actually increase comfort when riding any sort of distance. The tight shiny shirts are actually more comfortable. The bright colors make it easier for people to notice you.

I used to ride a motorcycle. In the motorcycle safety course we were told to get white or brightly colored helmet to increase our visibility.

honeybee, the Lance get-ups have practical reasons. They are not trying to impress you. Courtesy goes both ways. For every "discourteous" biker there are thousands of rude drivers. Sorry you've been inconvenienced. BTW, a discourteous biker has never killed a driver.

The guys that bike in the suburbs that I live in aren't doing it to go to work. They're taking their ride in the morning during rush hour. I know what day and time the two guys do it(they do it seperately) so I know if I leave the house late I'm going to see them.You are right, I painted it with a broad brush but getting super specific would get wordy and I already said a lot. In reference to registering things that aren't registered, where do we draw a line? How far does a "vehicle" have to be on a road before it should be licensed? If I drove a backhow to and from work, but only live 2 miles away, is that ok? If it's 5 miles is it not ok? I mean, I already pay taxes on my cars, so that entitles me to have other vehicles on the road right? BTW, fuck taxes. I don't want to tax a biker or anyone else. There has to be a better answer than biking on heavily traveled roads.

Steven,Great points. I think those must be the guys that draw my ire on Renner Rd every Saturday morning. In terms of entitlement, we both pay taxes for our vehicles to be on the road, we're licensed so that we apparently know the rules to use when driving. Does that mean everyone follows the rules? Hell no. I don't even hate cyclists to be completely honest with you. I do hate that I've seen one hit before and now everytime I see a guy riding on his own during rush hour when people are RAGing after a long day at work, I know eventually I'll see it happen again. I've seen people weave right in front of bikers or stay on their ass or pull closer to them where their mirror almost clips them. As SG as you guys look in your biking outfits, I respect your courage to bike in the hostile driving environment that we live in. I don't have the energy to debate public transportation with you. It would seem easier to give the indigents that take the bus a bike instead and make bike lanes everywhere.

Apparently I don't know everything but you do, I get it. I've done the workout before work thing, a lot of people have. The building I work in now, no shower facility. My fault too? I even worked with a guy that would ride his mountain bike to work once a week in the fall and spring, but wouldn't do it in the summer. I'm not talking shit. Man, I'd love to have the time you have on your hands. After I drop the kids off at school in the morning, I cross my fingers that the tollway isn't backed up because the shitty side roads I have to take to my office are murder on my car. On top of not having time to get to work if I biked it in, I'd be the selfish asshole slowing traffic down going and coming.

One main difference between bike jerseys and other wicking style athletic clothes are the back pockets 2-3 sewn in just above the back tail of the shirt. You can stuff water bottles, food, cellphone, keys, spare innertubes in the back. Cycling jerseys are also cut in such a manner that the back of the shirt is a little longer than the front, has elastic and most have high collars so your neck does not get burned. As mentioned, form follows function. Most runners are not out running 3 hours at a time but many cyclists are out riding 3-5 hours on a regular basis. At some point you have to ditch what looks cool for what feels cool...and looks horrible. If someone came up with something better, I bet 90% would switch. If you ride enough you'll slowly gravitate away from cotton shirts and baggy shorts into synthetics and traditional cycling shorts. Happens to everyone.

Many of the cyclists you see out riding this time of year are getting ready for the MS-150 charity ride. Many are neophytes to the whole cycling thing. Many will quit after the MS-150, never to ride again. They wreck a lot. Cannon fodder. Lots of candle light prayer vigils and tales of woe generated by that. After Memorial Day Weekend those people vanish like a fart in the wind. Never to be seen, smelled or heard from again.

Like I said, it's all perception. We all get the purpose of specialty shorts. Explain the purpose of the jersey though and why it's necessary versus something that Nike, Under Armor, or another company makes for general athletics.