Same old song for hapless Birds

PHILADELPHIA - It was indicative of the Monday Night mood when Troy Vincent, at a press conference announcing his Eagles Hall of Fame induction before a nationally televised football game between two almost historically bad teams, talked about one of his less than successful Philly football years.

Referring to a favorite neighborhood target in front of his Yardley home back in 1998, Vincent said something to the effect of, “They must have vandalized my house every single day until we put up a brick mailbox.”

Fourteen years later, certain postal accommodations at mini-mansions throughout South Jersey and Southeastern Pa. should be considered prime targets, if for no other reason than some Eagles fans seem to have difficulty finding an outlet for their pent-up frustrations other than playing mailbox baseball.

As evidenced at Lincoln Financial Field Monday night amid a 30-22 loss to the Carolina Panthers, however, there are some ticketholders who would rather revel in the few morsels of competence that can still be drawn from what’s left of Andy Reid’s last Eagles team.

Sure, they booed too. At least they did when their cupped hands would thaw enough to allow them that luxury.

But there were also plenty of cheers, most reserved for Bryce Brown, the latest feel-good story springing out of nowhere for this team.

You know, there have been so many.

Given the chance to start via LeSean McCoy’s concussion and rookie quarterback Nick Foles’ uncanny ability to actually make Reid think run-first, Brown broke the Eagles’ rookie rushing record with 178 rushing yards. Along the way, he had two touchdowns, bringing the house down. Then again, he had two fumbles in the second half, essentially bringing the Eagles down since the Panthers scored off both turnovers.

Brown showed great breakaway speed, so much so that special teams coach Bobby April might want to lobby Reid to try Brown’s hand at returning punts.

Or maybe distressed defensive coordinator Todd Bowles might want him to line up in the secondary at practice this week.

Ultimately, Brown’s starting debut would come down to a fourth-and-1 call at the Panthers’ 39 midway through the fourth quarter, one in which every vocal fan in the building knew was going to go the rookie running back’s way.

No gain.Such is the realistic fate and shared hard truths for a football team guided by a lame-duck coach, all realistic playoff hopes and many career aspirations having long since disappeared.

My, it’s fun.The laughs on this day started early, with the talk that strong-armed staffers at the Linc were going to prohibit fans from entering these hallowed grounds wearing paper bags on their heads. This from the team that always thought it necessary to have an old guy called a “security official” shadow Reid’s every step.

Security on this night would mean all efforts would be made to avoid a Monday Night Football embarrassment. One thing to tick off the customers, but we can’t let Boomer and the boys see this mess, you know?

At least not the one in the stands.

No matter how much truth, speculation or comedy went into that rumor construction, there were no apparent brown paper masks among all the empty seats. The fans, already cold and long since numbed to watching numbnuts dressed as Eagles do confounding things, didn’t go much beyond the usual level of verbal discord.

So the Eagles threw away another game, this time to a two-win team. So what?

The big news, of course, was that...

JON GRUDEN IS IN THE HOUSE!Alert the owner’s box. That’s the one with the plantation blinds drawn.

Actually, Jeffrey Lurie had made his presence felt in that pre-game party with Vincent, introducing him and Leo, then exiting stage left before anybody wearing a credential could get around security long enough to ask him a question.

What everyone there staring at Lurie’s closed door wouldn’t have guessed is that there would be a very good reason to stick around long enough to watch the game.

His name is Bryce Brown, and in the process of blowing through the Carolina Panthers’ porous line, he won Gruden’s spoken nomination for induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Amid the reality of two teams that even in the shared mediocrity of the NFL truly stand out for being bad, however, it was more of the same for the Eagles.

Offensively, they are hurting from so many key injuries, losing another prime piece early on in this game when DeSean Jackson went out with a bruised sternum.

As for the defense, well, that whole unit has been lost with a fractured dignity.