Second Hitman Movie To Be Faster, Furiouser, Walkerer

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Lackluster Hitman: Ablutions sales and wider money woes at publisher Square Enix don’t seem to have deterred their interest in doing something more with old Baldy McMurderpants. Or maybe money woes is exactly why they’re happy to let a sequel to/reboot of the rather wretched 2007 Hitman movie go ahead.
Bland-faced Fast & Furious man Paul Walker will allegedly be the star, and commercials director Aleksander Bach will take the helm, reports Deadline of the Fox picture. The script is written by Skip Woods, the same dude who wrote the last mess, along with the reliably addled likes of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra and The A-Team. Apparently Woods is also working on the Kane & Lynch movie. He sounds like a budget Damon Lindelof.

Doesn’t sound promising to me, but maybe I’m just too cynical about the long history of entirely shitty videogame movies handled by people who don’t know or care about the subject matter and made purely for quick money by studios who bought the license ages ago and don’t really know what to do with it now.

Also, original Hitman star Timothy Olyphant, so good at ill-contained rage in Deadwood, deserves to be so much bigger than he is. I fear his role in the Hitman movie did him far more harm than good.

While casting Stathom would probably make the movie a monetary success, it surely would make for a better movie. Bad director working off a bad script make for a bad movie. My only hope is that it can sink Walker’s carreer boat to the hellish pits of . . . um, the movie oceans.

Totally agree with this. And I should add they better remove the pitiful love story. I swore never to watch the movie when I read Agent 47 falls in love. Absolutely ridiculous thing and totally ruins everything about the Hitman series.

If I remember correctly, they actually kept him asexual, which was a surprise to me too. But there are other sins against the canon that they committed. Still, the film wasn’t that bad. I expected a lot worse.

Oh, it was pretty awful though. The script made exactly zero sense – it was like three entirely unrelated thrillers had a horrific car crash. You could practically see, before your very eyes, the film passed around from editor to editor in a desperate attempt to save it.

This. Yes, the film isn’t great, but the last shot is him watching her go, through a sniper scope. As a metaphor for both character’s inability to form relationships, I’ve seen worse. Or am I overthinking this?

Olyphant seems to be doing pretty darn well in Justified, and it’s a rare TV actor who gets a break in the movies. For the moment at least, he’s probably better off doing interesting, worthwhile television work, Alec.

Olyphant is on record (on the Nerdist Podcast, citation fans, though quite probably elsewhere too) as saying that the only reason he did the Hitman movie was because Deadwood was very suddenly cancelled right after he’d bought a house.

What was wrong with the first movie? Stupid, boring and had unconvincing characters – let’s get a totally different lead but keep the writer!
Pah, Olyphant was too good for this dross anyway – Walker and his weak-watered version of Keanu Reeves can ride this train all the way to DVD release hell.

Exactly how many copies were Square Enix thinking a game like Hitman absolution was going to sell in 3 months? Even Blood money was an incredible slow burner in sales and after all these years it still didnt sell all that much (if the charts that I have seen are to be believed).

Guess they shouldnt have invested so much money in making sure that the baldness shines through, eh?