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So Faith Hill lost her sh*t a few months ago when some skank started grabbin’ at Tim McGraw during a concert. Tim ain’t my thing but I can see why he’d inspire some serious horny especially in his tight jeans.

Until now…

Tim and Faith showed up arm in arm last night at the BMI Country Awards in Nashville and while she looks alright, he looks far from. Holy mother super bloat! And total quiveration killer!

I love Faith Hill. I love Tim McGraw. I love Faith AND Tim. But she did not look good at Gwen Stefani’s LAMB show to end Olympus Fashion Week. For once, it’s not the clothing. This time, it’s her face. Sure, everyone gets old. But I don’t think anyone can deny that the lines of age are advancing even more rapidly than usual across Faith’s button cute face. Is it just too much sun? Are her genes to blame? Does she need a better skin care regimen? Or is there a “happy” explanation behind all of this?

It's been a while since I've had anything nice to say about Faith Hill. In style terms, of course. I adore Faith. I adore her buck teeth. And I adore Faith and Tim. Which is why a large part of me refuses to believe those cokehead rumours...and it's also why I get so disappointed when she shows up time and again in the most godawful fashion choices, like ever. OK...so now you country fans out there are like freaking out, right?? Allow me to explain: there are some in Nashville and Hollywood who believe that the McGraws are junkies. That they go on tour together and snort endless amounts of coke to stay alert. According to these gossips, that's how Faith was able to get so thin after each pregnancy... Oh, and I should tell you that she's apparently kicked it...which is why she's been outta the spotlight for a few months. Rehab, they say. There. That's the underground scoop. Believe it or not, I'm sure I'll hear from at least a few of you. Anyway, back to Faith fashion. For the most part, it sucks. But I was very, very happy to see that she appeared on the Today Show this morning wearing something decent and looking healthier (in body) than she has in a long time. The hair needs some work. As does the makeup (has she really aged, or what?) But hey, on the Faith scale...it could be a helluva lot worse.

Tim McGraw: the newest metrosexual

Look...I'm all over Tim McGraw. Love him. Love Faith. Love him AND Faith. But I'm worried about his transition from rugged country crooner to glammed up pop superstar. The tan, the high fashion turtleneck, the classic Hollywood makeover. Aside from the spray on jeans, this isn't the Tim we know and love. Is he lost to us forever?

Say who??? Remember Ellen Degeneres's onetime girlfriend who subsequently went cuckoo and was found wandering, disoriented in the desert? And then wrote an autobiography about her multiple personalities? And then married a straight dude and had his kid? Remember Anne Heche? Well, anyway...Elton John came out with this book of nudes recently to raise money for charity and she was one of the models. Look at this body! Sure...there's some airbrushing goin' on here, but still. Can you believe Ellen was hittin' that?? And now Portia de Rossi? Is Ellen the Wilmer Valderrama of the lesbian world???

A rare party experience for the Ritchies. So is your smutty sense tingling? By all accounts, Madge and Guy were very much together last night. No sign of awkwardness, no tension or pretension, just happy to be out and about with other major stars deserving of their time. And although her pink slinky reeks of cheap Beyonce, I think she looks great. Drunk but great. Great for any age and especially 47 - frozen face or not.

Here's Shannen at a charity fashion show this weekend. And believe me, this pains me because I have always loved Brenda the most...SO much more than Kelly. Still, it's undeniable, isn't it? The girl is hurtin' hard. The bloated face, the tired eyes, the saggy tits, the 'I've been f&cked and f&cked over too many times' expression on her face...this, my friends, is Jennifer Love Hewitt in 10 years which, actually, wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

Liv Tyler and her husband Royston Langdon are done. People is reporting exclusively that the break up is amicable.

The two spent a very long holiday together this past Christmas with their son Milo after which she emerged much healthier looking than before she left. Unfortunately, whatever their differences, it doesn’t seem they were able to patch them up long term.

Liv is scheduled to begin promotion for the Hulk very soon.

Here she is at the Costume Institute Gala on Monday night. She was lovely that evening and in great spirits on the carpet, stopping for interviews and greeting friends, bright eyed and beautiful.

Brenda might be older, and wrinklier, and much less taut but Brenda always had great hair. And Brenda STILL has great hair. Here's Shannen Doherty at the TV Critics press tour, trying to squeeze any remaining juices out of a dying career.

Say what you will about her character - my favourite - but the bitch owned the best mane on the show. Long and thick and what I always wanted, especially at the very end, when it was halfway down her back. I do hope she makes it. Apparently she's a new person, apparently she's not the drama queen we knew and loved. Come on gossips…if Tori Spelling can get her own show, why not Brenda Walsh?

I always loved Brenda more than Kelly. What's not to love? The dramatics, the tears, the manipulation. Was there ever an actor who could deliver the line 'I hate you!' with more conviction than Shannen Doherty? Through it all, because of my neverending devotion to Brenda...the Judd Nelson phase, the Ashley Hamilton era, the Charmed saga, and of course the Rick Salomon/Paris Hilton love and sex and war triangle...through it all I have stood by Shannen. But the time has come to face facts. It has been 15 years. And in those 15 years, there's been some hard living, even a couple of arrests if memory serves. So I guess it should be no surprise that Shannen's looking rough. But this rough?? Those wrinkles around the eyes, the dry geriatric skin...And for the love of John Frieda, would it kill her to get a new hairstyle?? I'm thinking Botox honey. Or a miracle facial. Whatever works...you do it. Because Brenda Walsh would never be caught dead looking this bad!! You hear me girlfriend??? Pull it together! If you're old, it means I'm old...and I AM NOT OLD!!!!

There is no excuse for having the same hairstyle for 10 years. Especially if you are, on a good day, a B-list celebrity. Yes Shannen, we know that it's hard to let go of the past…of the golden 90210 years…of the only highlight in your otherwise mundane career. But Brenda Walsh moved to London and left Dylan behind. Isn't it about time for you to do the same???

I have always tried my very best to say nice things about Brittany Murphy because I honestly - and perhaps stupidly - think she's a rare kind soul in a sick, sick town. I agree that she doesn't eat. I also agree that she goes to the bathroom a lot and doesn't always use the toilet. But I've had the opportunity to observe her, live and up close, and the girl was a sweetheart. She had a smile and a polite 'thank you' for everyone. She carried her own baggage. Let me repeat. She carried her own baggage. She tipped well. She did not throw a hissy fit when her shoes got wet. And she made eye contact with the minions who stood by and gawked. I admired that.

Brittany's problem isn't her personality. Her problem is her packaging. There is a large part of her that will always be a little bit junkie skank and instead of embracing this with an edgy, unique style, she keeps trying to erase it with high end couture and designer labels that look ridiculously out of place. Here she is at the premiere of Domino this week. The hair? Wrong. The shoes? Wrong. The pose? Atrocious. In fact, she's not the only one guilty of this particular crime. Low classy posing is actually reaching epidemic proportions in Hollywood and if you happen to have an entrepreneurial spirit, I encourage you to take out a small business loan and start your own school for celebrity strut. I guarantee you'd make a killing.

But back to Brittany. Some girls just aren't meant for elegance and sophistication, you know what I mean? And it's not necessarily a bad thing. Originality is paramount and she has so much potential. So Brittany darling, if you're out there, on the slim to nothing chance that you are reading - celebrate your inner trash. We'll love you for it.

Poor Madge. On her 47th birthday, she goes horseback riding and ends up falling off. There were a few broken bones and several cracked ribs but it looks like our girl is going to OK. Don’t underestimate the Kabbalah/yoga combination. It’s miraculous. And I assure you, come November, she’ll be back to Vintage Madge, promoting her new dance tracks and hopefully NOT shoving her red string devotion down our throats. I can’t wait!

From Dublin to Des Moines, Colin Farrell has an endless line of p&ssy waiting for him in every city. Two years ago, I could accept this. Two years ago, I might have put my own chacha on the Farrell bandwagon. But not anymore. Because I don't dig grease monkeys. Nor do I particularly like men with long hair, an extra layer of chubb, and too many accessories around his neck. I'm well aware that Colin is frontin' the South Beach look for the new Miami Vice...but still. I think we can all agree this is not his best. In fact, I think we can all agree that this look doesn't work for ANYONE - even Brad Pitt. So consider the following a public service announcement for all you dudes out there. Read carefully. We don't dig the curly bob. Keep your hair short. You aren't David Beckham...so don't even go there. If you have excessive body oil, pick up a toner (try Fresh Rose Marigold Tonic Water, available at Kiss & Makeup of course!) and control those sebaceous glands. Next: Get rid of the voodoo chains you bought in Cancun last winter. I don't care how good it looked on vacay, it doesn't in the city. And finally...do up your f&cking shirt. One button is fine. If it's hot, you can get away with two. But any more than that and you'll be riding hospitality for the rest of your life. Remember - if it isn't working for Colin Farrell...it isn't going to work for you.

In case you hadn’t noticed, there appears to be a divorce epidemic raging through Hollywood. So who’s next? Well, if you believe my spies who saw them this weekend, we might have to keep a close eye on Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. They flew out to NYC on Saturday and, according to my sources, didn’t speak to each other during the entire flight. They’ve also been rather sour faced around the city which could easily be attributable to her notorious attitude problem but also might have to do with the fact that after a relatively low key couple of years, both are ready to test the fame waters once again. He’s got a new tv show that apparently sucks, and she’s yet another former telly star trying to launch a legitimate film career – as if one Jennifer Aniston wasn’t enough.

From what I understand, we’re not quite in panic territory just yet. But my smutty sense is tingling…

Take some time with this one, OK? Discuss it with other smutters, run through your list of options before you email me. I really, really have to be sparing with clues. Sorry, but this one is tricky and I have to cover my Chinese ass! And no, it's not Colin Farrell and it's NOT Owen Wilson. Have a great weekend! Til next time, I am yours in gossip,

Last Word

Lovely way to start the weekend, doncha think? Why don't I make it even lovelier by teasing you a little with another exclusive tidbit. My sources say Ethan Hawke has set his sights on Sienna Miller, who's been kickin' it in NYC lately. Which is great news. The dude has to get out now and again, you know? Now I'm not saying we have lift off…but it's best to stay tuned.

I felt badly for Janet Jackson. I mean it’s Janet Jackson, right? She released a new album this year which has totally unperformed, it’s been all Mimi and Madonna and no Damita Jo, and she showed up on the carpet tonight and all of us on the press line were like – oh yeah, Janet Jackson. Sure let’s get her if we can, but not if it means missing JLo or TomKat or Scarlett or the Olsens or Posh and I’m telling you, the list went on and on.

For some reason, somehow, Janet Jackson has become a “nice to have” but not a “MUST have”.

Sucks to be Janet.

She did look good though. She looked as good as she did a decade ago. Her body was tight. Her hair was an improvement on the White Snake thing she was rocking a few weeks ago, and she and Jermaine Dupri had a sweetness about them that was endearing and authentic but let me ask you this…

Do you care to keep reading? Or would you prefer to on to someone else?

Thanks for your emails this morning. As requested more photos of Liv Tyler are attached. Especially of her shoes.

Per the Gwyneth posting earlier, Liv showed up at the Iron Man screening in New York looking healthy and well rested after taking some time off to be with family before she herself begins heavy promotion for The Hulk. As you can see, like Gwyneth, Liv cut off several inches too. Gorgeous.