Saturday, September 19, 2009

[vii] COLD COFFEE (k)NIGHT Epilogue

By virtue of my patience and my view on the kindness of human beings, I stayed put. I might have acquired a special ability to trust and have faith in peoples’ words in my 25 years of stay here on earth. Another hour I stayed. And at last he came.

With smiles I welcomed his presence again, and we took off. I have taken with me the cold coffee tumbler on the table as a memorabilia of the night and using my tired body I carried my dying heart. Wishfully asking to be saved on what he felt as an impending chaos. It seems my heart had sensed that the Angelo that came back was different.

And the new Angelo was engulfed by the old Angelo that I knew.

He kept on mentioning how his phone was so old blah blah blah.

He kept on mentioning how I made him wait in vain for long years, breaking (my unknown) promises to him. Blah blah blah

He kept on mentioning that he was the only one I can depend on. Blah blah blah

He kept on mentioning the protocol that we will do to enter the Motel: He will go there first for a reservation and will go to the room, then he will call me whenever hes in the room already for me to follow.

I waited, beside the Mercury drug, where he left me. It was never in my dream to enter such a place, a motel. But im kind and patient enough to give in not to temptation but for old times sake. But all this time it was Shawn who was on my mind. Even though im free as a bird, it was always his face that pops up on my head to remind me who I really love, pity, it was not mutual.

It seems the heavens has heard my plea, there were too much reservations that night and the motel cant occupy us. Though he took the money for the reservation for him to buy a new phone, oh well. The journey ended at his apartment, my body so tired of the whole 24 hours had given up. He cannot use me physically, emotionally, sexually anymore. I said no. Angelo was furious that I cant do the things we used to do when we were in college. I cant even kiss him.

He stood up, we dressed up without a single word. We went out of the apartment still mute. He hailed a taxi, still in silent mode. And he went off leaving me behind. No goodbyes, no sorry, not even a wince of care.

As I stood in the middle of the street, he literally abandoned me and left me to suffer the impending chaos. I turned around, saw the dark street that Angelo used to escape, to my battlefront was an inevitable stampede of emotions. I looked around, stupid as I have been acting all night long, “this is supposed to be the time when my hero would appear, but where is he…?

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The coffee tumbler that I held was cold and the knight was nowhere to be found. The coffee aint good anymore, the knight was never meant to have a shining armor.