Continued from 10/31/10. It was so funny how excited my husband and I were on the day after delivery to go up to the Special Care Nursery and see FJ. It was as if it was Christmas...we were rushing to get ready so we could be up there all day. Nothing prepares you for the shock of all the cords and monitors while you observe your tiny son struggling to breathe. The gasping and sucking for air he was doing was heartbreaking. We weren't even there an hour when my husband started to silently cry while he held him. It broke my heart - I still had not had my own meltdown but I could feel it coming. My OB/GYN had stopped in to circumsize FJ and was shocked herself to hear he had pneumonia. She had had no idea he had been admitted to the Special Care Nursery. Even the ambiance of this place is alarming. It is quiet like a library with all the lights on dim. Only two people are ever allowed back with the parents. You must be checked in to be allowed to enter through the locked doors and immediately wash your hands. Parents must wear a wristband until he has safely been allowed back home. My doctor was not able to do the circumcision because that would stress FJ out and cause him to struggle for even more air. He was also not going to be given his first sponge bath for the same reasons. Our poor boy was also suffering from jaundice and his immune system was still tackling the hematoma. His white blood cell count was extremely low and it was evident he was weak and sick. To be continued...