Parade

Ask Marilyn: This Week's 'Strictly Personal' Question

J. in Elgin, Texas, writes:

Marilyn: My problem is, my mom dislikes my girlfriend. I used to think it was because she's pretty, but now I realize the problem is that she's smart. Have you ever heard of this?! By the way, my dad likes her just fine. Do you have any suggestions? Marilyn responds:

A couple of questions for you, first. Is your girlfriend competitive with you? Or does she ever tell you what to think, correct you, or put you down in front of your mom? If so, that's the problem. And you need a new girlfriend, not suggestions about how to get your mom to like this one. It's not going to happen, and for good reason. She's not good for you. Not unless you grow a bigger backbone.

But if your girlfriend doesn't do any of this, I suggest confiding in her. Tell her that you think your mother may be a bit afraid of her smarts. Or even a little jealous. If your girlfriend is as smart as you say, she'll know exactly what to do—and what not to do—the next time she's around your parents.