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20 Feb 2018

WHY MOST WIVES LOOK AS IF THEY ARE THEIR HUSBAND'S MOTHER.

When you see most couples in Nigeria, the first question that will pop into your mind is, is she his mother or wife?
The reason why men look more younger than their wives is because of bad
marriage. If you want to tell a bad marriage, look at the wife and
measure her looks with her husband. If the husband is looking radiant,
and the wife is looking haggard, then it's obvious the man is an
oppressor. Remember I used the word "Haggard" which explicitly points on
the criteria of a state of mind. Not on the issue of fashion or
cleanliness.
It has nothing to do with poverty or that the
couple are struggling, if it's true the couple are going through
hardship, then it will also affect the man. But when the man is looking
fresh, and the wife is looking all moody and oldie, then the suppressor
is the husband and the wife is the victim.
"Some will say, women
age because of menstruation and child bearing, then I ask, why then
some women with four kids look younger, while some women with two kids
look older even though they are of same age?"
When you see a
woman who is enjoying her marriage, she looks younger and happier. She
glows in the night, and flourish in the day. Even with the chores at
home and having to constantly shout at the kids to behave, you will
hardly notice any wrinkle in her face even as she ages, because she is
happy in her marriage. Her husband is her pride and joy.
But
when a man suppresses his wife emotionally and physically, she goes into
a web of depression which affects her wellbeing and reflects in her
face and lifestyle. She eats poorly, dress poorly and succumb herself to
pity and shame, she grows fatter or skinner, and her youth will hide
behind the scars.
This is the reason why most men are ashamed to
be seen with their wives in public, whereas he is the architect of her
misfortune. They prefer to take their side chick on occasions and
parties, and leave the fat or skinny and haggard wife at home.
Solution: (For Women)
Apart from God, No one can love you more than you. When you give up on
yourself, you have sinned against your very soul. Yes, it's hard having
to live with an abusive or non-chalant husband, but the truth is, you
can even command your husband to love and respect you by you first
loving and respecting yourself.
How? Yes it's possible. What
makes you happy? What do you derive joy doing? You know your desires,
your wants, things that make you happy, you must grasp unto that.
* Try as much as possible to rekindle with your old friends you have
lost touch with (Most of you women throw away your friends just because
you married). They will help you light up those fire you use to have for
pursuing your desires for career, business, inventions and dreams. Hang
out with them and make yourself happy as long as you are not going
against the law of God.
* Go to church services and dedicate
more of your time with people of God and draw close to word of God. It
will mostly help you in times of lonely nights as you can sing praises,
read your Bible and pray.
* Find something doing no matter how
little, it will help keep your sanity in check. Never allow yourself to
be idle. Do not Labour, but find a chore or a work to do. When you
Labour much, you age quickly and at the end it always affect your
health. You need to cater for the kids? It's not only your job as long
as your husband lives, he should be subjected to play his role by the
law, unless a case he is an infidel or disabled.
* Look
beautiful always. Try little makeup, buy yourself some new clothes you
can afford. Bath every morning, and look good, bath in the night and
feel fresh. It helps you keep your emotions intact. Never believe that
you are too old to make up your face, wear nice fitting clothes, make
your hair.
* Eat healthier. Do not consume yourself in calories
and make yourself fatter. Eat good foods, eat fish which helps your skin
glow. Eat fruits and vegetables. But most importantly, eat what you are
comfortable with and happy eating. As you are happy eating it, the
happier your soul rejoices, and healthy you will look.
* Avoid
getting into fight with your husband. If you notice, when women fight
with their husband, they tend to talk and shout more while the man will
drop a bombshell and walk away. Shouting increases your blood levels
because you are agitated and angry. This is most reason why most women
suffer hypertensive more than men. Learn to control your emotions, don't
let your emotions control you. You are in charge. No matter how much
your husband has irritated you, walk away. By doing so, you are creating
for yourself a revenue to live longer.
* Spend time with your
kids. They are your joy but do not forget, as a mother you need time to
rejuvenate. Spend time with yourself, watch your favorite movies, browse
Facebook and make new friends, join good Facebook pages and groups and
learn about the goods things of life.
* If you can read, read novels, inspirational books and most importantly your Bible.
* Buy earphone, plug it on your phone, lie on the bed and listen to your favorite music's or radio stations.
Do everything possible to keep your body and soul together. When you
came into this earth, you came without a husband, and you will depart
this world without your husband, so why die for marriage? Why allow
yourself wallow up in pity and shame because your husband doesn't treat
you good? You have God, and you have YOU.
Dissolution:
Its
hard but simple. If you as a woman is a victim of Domestic violence;
walk away from that marriage. Yes the society will blame you, your
pastors will criticize you, and your husband's people will condemn you;
but there is one who understands your pain, and neither does he judge or
condemn you. That person is God. He has heard your cries all these
while, but what you can do for yourself, God cannot come down from his
throne to do it for you. He has given you the power to decide from right
and wrong, to make the right choice for yourself, and when you make
that choice, God will help you fulfill it. Yes God hates divorce, but
then Jesus said to them, "It's because of the hardness of your hearts
towards your wives, that Moses gave the law of divorcement"
God
knows every man's heart, and as much as God hates divorce because
marriage is a holy union, yet he allowed the law so that many victims of
bad marriage might be spared.
If God understands your pain, why
would you care what others think of you? There is a saying, "Anything
that has no remedy should go without a regard" Some marriages are
irreparable, so why stick around?
You might say, it's because of
your kids; but if you die in that marriage, you have made your kids
even more vulnerable for another woman to come in and use them as
servants.
If you are financially decapitated, first Save
yourself from that marriage, get yourself up and running, fix yourself
then come back and find appropriate legal terms to help you with legal
custody of your kids.
But if you are financially enabled, still get
out with your kids, and find appropriate legal terms for their full or
divided custody to avoid future unwanted occurrences.
Most times,
the love we have for our kids blinds women to remain in violent
marriages. One thing is clear, the fight and battles in that marriage is
already ruining the lives of your kids. Your sons are learning the
punching styles, and your daughters are having bad image of what
marriage is all about. So why stick around? What you cannot repair, you
can discard. But what you can repair, you can maintain. But my prayer
for all is that our marriage build on the solid rock Jesus that it might
survive every test of time.
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