The Right of Self Determination » abusehttp://www.therightofselfdetermination.com
We don't have to make it perfec, we just have to make it.Tue, 21 Apr 2015 15:21:43 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.3You Have a Bad Case of Stockholm Syndrome — Part 3http://www.therightofselfdetermination.com/you-have-a-bad-case-of-stockholm-syndrome-%e2%80%94-part-3
http://www.therightofselfdetermination.com/you-have-a-bad-case-of-stockholm-syndrome-%e2%80%94-part-3#commentsWed, 23 Feb 2011 12:40:53 +0000http://therightofselfdetermination.com/?p=1911Condition C: Isolation of Perspective

In severe cases of Stockholm Syndrome in relationships, the victim may have difficulty leaving the abuser and may actually feel the abusive situation is their fault. In law enforcement situations, the victim may actually feel the arrest of their partner for physical abuse or battering is their fault. Some women will allow their children to be removed by child protective agencies rather than give up the relationship with their abuser. As they take the perspective of the abuser, the children are at fault – the children complained about the situation, the children brought the attention of authorities to the home, and the children put the adult relationship at risk.

Who's got you tied?

Sadly, the children have now become a danger to the victim's safety. For those with Stockholm Syndrome, allowing the children to be removed from the home decreases their stress while providing an emotionally and physically safer environment for the children.

In abusive/controlling relationships, the victim is always “walking on eggshells” – fearful of saying or doing anything that might prompt a violent or intimidating outburst from the abuser. For survival, victims begin to see the world from the abuser's perspective. Victims begin to fix things that might prompt an outburst, or act in ways they know makes the abuser happy, or avoid aspects of their own life that may prompt “a problem”. Victims become preoccupied with the needs, desires, and habits of the abuser/controller.

Thus, the survival technique of taking on the abuser's perspective becomes so intense that the victim/hostage actually gets angry at those trying to help. The abuser is already angry toward anyone who would provide the victim support, and will use multiple methods [manipulations] to isolate the victim from others. Any contact the victim has with supportive people is met with accusations, threats, and/or violent outbursts. The abuser “must have their way” or it’s no way at all.

There is much more that could be said about “family system roles” and interpersonal relationships in relation to how traits and “perspectives”, being rampant throughout a society and with societal structures, have already shaped how you “view the world”. Taking on other people’s views of the world (as your own), IS HOW YOU CAME TO YOUR VIEWS ABOUT THE WORLD. There is only one question… “have you tested all things” in relation to “your view of the world”.

The bottom line is this; your perspective of the world has been shaped by numerous different sources. Those sources could have been parents, schools and teachers, churches, piers, the media (TV, radio, magazines, newspaper, and the Internet). Of course, very few people have ever looked at how this relates to Stockholm Syndrome, because all of these “sources of education and training” are not questioned very much and they are viewed as “normal”; even if these sources are being used to “isolate people’s perspective”. They are viewed as “normal” even if “you” or “everyone” is being lied to. And, these sources of education, training, and information are viewed as “normal” because “everyone” does it, “everyone” uses and depends on these sources, and “everyone” [allegedly] should accept that this is “just the way it is and should be”.

Now this could be viewed from what we are calling the “micro-level” or personal level, but it is much more than that because your “description of the world” intersects with everyone else’s at a “macro” or societal level. So of course, one of these societal sources of “perspective” is the Geo-political construct that you grew up in and that you are a part of. In following the same theme of this article; “how does this apply to Stockholm Syndrome and Condition C: Isolation of Perspective?” And, more importantly, how do Geo-political systems use this to “isolate” their people’s perspective from the “rest of the world”?

Understand that all Geo-political systems use certain tools to get “their people” to view the governmental system as a religion or religious system. This is done by “tugging on the heart-strings”, so to speak. People are taught early on the “pledge their entire allegiance to either the government or the “flag” of the government (Geo-political business construct….notice the addition of the word “business”). Then, there is other “programming” that instills “perspectives” into a society’s people, such as; National Anthems, National “Patriotism”, mottoes like “In God we Trust”, National Seals and Emblems such as a beautiful bird symbolizing freedom (like an Eagle holding an olive branch in one foot and arrows in the other….beautiful isn’t it…warms the heart, doesn’t it?).

Then there is the “good guy-bad guy” scenario. In America, the mantra is that “other countries are just jealous of our lifestyle and prosperity”. In Europe, the mantra is that “America is just a young country of spoiled and arrogant brats”. In other countries, “the Americans are just greedy”…or “America is aggressive and warlike”. And, America still has its own “view” or “perspective” of the “rest of the world”. “America is the moral authority…we are right and everyone else is wrong”.

Understand this; whatever you hear and whatever you have heard…whatever the dogma, or mantra, or “perspective” given to you from the Geo-political sources that you receive your education, training, and information from….that information is designed to divide. It is design around ISOLATION OF PERSPECTIVE….Period…the end.

There are two old quotes or maxims that are relate to this “isolation of perspective” and what you “think” concerning “your government” or “your system of governance”. The first maxim is “All people get the government that they deserve, ultimately”. The second maxim is “National patriotism is the beginning of all wars”.

Whether or not you agree with these quotes or maxims, let’s look at Condition C: Isolation of Perspective (just like we did “perceived threats” and “small kindness”) and see if Condition “C” produces any of the symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome at a societal; and even global level. Without going back to the top to find the list of symptoms, let’s restate them:

Positive feelings by the victim toward the abuser/controller

Negative feelings by the victim toward family, friends, or authorities trying to rescue/support them or win their release

Support of the abuser's reasons and behaviors; and overlooking the abuser’s abusive and intimidating acts or tendencies

Positive feelings by the abuser toward the victim

Supportive behaviors by the victim, at times helping the abuser

Inability to engage in behaviors that may assist in their release or detachment

Okay, here are some questions about these symptoms at the Geo-political level.

1) Is it lawful or legal for you to pay a “hit-man” to commit murder just because you don’t “like” someone?

2) Do you like war?

3) Is it okay for you to support war?

4) Do you like high taxes?

5) Do you like it when someone lies to you?

6) Were you told and given a perspective that another Geo-political system had “weapons of mass destruction”?

7) Did this Geo-political system have “weapons of mass destruction”?

8) Have you supported using “your own weapons of mass destruction” to destroy those that had “no weapons of mass destruction”?

9) Have you swallowed hook, line, and sinker someone’s ABUSIVE PERSPECTIVE that you should pay for and support the murder of innocent men, women, and children over information that was a lie from the start?

10) If you don’t like war, then why are you supporting it using a “perspective” that was “given to you” that was a lie?

11) Is “honesty the best policy”?

Well, we will let you be the judge. The ancient maxim is “ALL PEOPLE GET THE GOVERNMENT THAT THEY DESERVE”. In some societies, they call it “Karma.” In some societies, people say “what goes around, comes around”. In some circles, people say “you reap what you sow”. And, in other texts it is written; “what do light and darkness have to do with each other.” And, “can a throne of destruction and iniquity be allied with you, one which frames mischief and evil by decree/law”?

Question …. “have you been subjected to Stockholm Syndrome at a Geo-political and societal level?”

Condition D: Perceived Inability to Escape

When threatened by individuals with guns, such as a hostage in a bank robbery, it's easy to understand the inability to escape. In addition to yelling and screaming and intimidation, there is imminent threat of losing one’s life. As a hostage of this type of insidious behavior, all of the conditions come into play very rapidly. Stockholm Syndrome can develop very quickly as the condition are met. The conditions are A) the threat, B) the small kindness of the abuser/hostage-taker over the hostage, C) isolation of perspective as the hostage can now only view the world from the viewpoint of the abuser/hostage-taker, and D) the perceived inability to escape. All primal survival instincts (going back to birth) suddenly kick in, and the psychology of this syndrome come upon some of the hostages (but not all).

Although the affects of Syndrome Syndrome develop over longer periods of time in inter-personal and societal and Geo-political relationships, the belief that one can't escape is also very common. In unhealthy inter-personal relationships and definitely in Stockholm Syndrome there is a daily preoccupation with "trouble". Trouble is any individual, group, situation, comment, casual glance, or cold meal that may produce a temper tantrum or verbal abuse from the controller or abuser. The victim also cleans the house, calms the children, scans the mail, avoids certain topics, and anticipates every issue of the controller or abuse in an effort to avoid "trouble". In this situation, children who are noisy become "trouble". Loved ones and friends are "trouble" for the victim who is attempting to avoid verbal or physical aggression.

Stockholm Syndrome produces an unhealthy bond with the controller and abuser. It is the reason many victims continue to support an abuser after the relationship is over. It's also the reason they continue to see "the good side" of an abusive individual and appear sympathetic to someone who has mentally and sometimes physically abused them. Just like the hostage/hostage-taker scenario; the key is to survive, and "trouble" is to be avoided at all costs. The victim must control situations that produce trouble.

This “perceived inability to escape” may be the most insidious aspect of Stockholm Syndrome, especially at a Geo-political level. Why? Because when people want to “leave their country, nation, state, or society”…they are viewed by the society “as crazy.” Comments are made like “how could you possibly want out (either physically or “jurisdictionally”), this is the greatest nation on Planet Earth”? (sound familiar?) Voicing a desire that “things are wrong with the country/nation” or “presuming that the country doesn’t have your best interest at heart”…is not only considered wrong, but TREASONOUS.

And, treason is a crime. The pressure brought on by piers and family if you “dare to question” a Geo-political system or government is akin to having an “eight thousand pound gorilla” standing on your neck. And, that is what many are told. The old maxim here is “you can’t fight city hall”.

But, what if City Hall is wrong? What if the country or nation or its policies are wrong? What should you do; just sit idly by while your freedoms slip away and you are reduced to absolute despotism?

Every time throughout history that one group of people wanted to “separate” and build a “new society or new Geo-political paradigm” (even if to re-acquire FREEDOMS that have been lost due to tyranny within the “old paradigm”); that “group of people” wanting to “separate” have been branded traitors by either the society, culture, population, and/or the government from which they wanted to “separate”. It is worse than changing one’s religious denominational preference or even changing one’s religion, entirely. In fact in most places around this world, it is very easy to conclude that “it’s okay to worship whatever God you want, but don’t you dare change your country or nationality (Geo-political preference)”

Face this fact; the Right of Self-Determination is not easy. But, it is an internationally recognized and protected Right. The right to NOT live under despotism and tyranny is the very reason that every nation/state/country exists on Planet Earth. It is the right to choose.

(oh…this is just for you….the word “tyranny” comes from the Phoenicians: “the King of Tyre”…not pronounced “tire”, but “teer”)

Part 5: Let’s Talk Solutions

Stockholm Syndrome doesn't occur in every hostage or abusive situation. In another bank robbery involving hostages, after terrorizing patrons and employees for many hours, a police sharpshooter shot and wounded the terrorizing bank robber. After he hit the floor, two women picked him up and physically held him up to the window for another shot. These two women are simply “had enough” and there anger at what was happening to them and the others led them to take action. Whether that action was appropriate or inappropriate is not at issue here. The point is that taking action breaks the cycles of abuse and control.

As seen in the bank/hostage incident in Stockholm, that gave rise to the name of this syndrome; not all of the victims later supported the hostage-takers. Two people that were victims that day did not later support their abusers/captors, although all four people were subjected to the same conditions. As you can see, there are multiple factors that determine whether one is succumbing to Stockholm Syndrome. One factor is length of time one is exposed to abuse and control. Other factors include the person’s mental make-up, i.e. a person’s philosophies about life; their own internal levels of fear, their own desires to lead-follow-be in control, and their beliefs/“religion”.

In any case, ultimately the factors don’t matter as much as taking action; because it is still only taking an action that will determine whether Stockholm Syndrome prevails internally within the individual, or whether that individual will remain susceptible to the syndrome’s effects. It is the opinion of this author that the action should be appropriate and prudently considered, because taking the wrong action could lead to more dire consequences to the victim. But, in the end, the longer one is exposed without taking an action that might/will break the cycle of abuse and control, the more likely it is that the individual will never break the cycle of “being the victim”. It is obvious that people begin to view the situation as “hopeless”, and therefore increasing dangerous to their individual survival; even if they truly desire their situation to change.

The final stage of Stockholm Syndrome, when applied to the “macro” level of the global Geo-political structure prevailing in the world today, is cognitive dissonance.

that’s all for now.

The question is now: is this syndrome what has you sitting in fear and paralyzed to the point that you do nothing about your condition?

It's important to understand the components of Stockholm Syndrome as they relate to abusive and controlling relationships. Once the syndrome is understood, it's easier to understand why victims support, love, and even defend their abusers and controllers.

Every syndrome has symptoms or behaviors. Stockholm Syndrome is no exception. A clear-cut list has not been established due to varying opinions by researchers, but these features will be present:

Positive feelings by the victim toward the abuser/controller

Negative feelings by the victim toward family, friends, or authorities trying to rescue/support them or win their release

Support of the abuser's reasons and behaviors; and overlooking the abuser’s abusive and intimidating acts or tendencies

Positive feelings by the abuser toward the victim

Supportive behaviors by the victim, at times helping the abuser

Inability to engage in behaviors that may assist in their release or detachment

These are the symptoms; but what is the cause?

Four conditions are present that serve as a foundation for the development of Stockholm Syndrome. These four conditions (or situations) can be found not only in the “hostage/hostage-taker” scenario; but also severe child and/or spousal abuse, and other abusive societal relationships:

The presence of a perceived threat to one's physical or psychological survival and the belief that the abuser would carry out the threat

The presence of a “perceived” small kindness from the abuser to the victim

Isolation from perspectives other than those of the abuser

The perceived inability to escape the situation

By considering each situation we can comprehend how Stockholm Syndrome develops in interpersonal and societal relationships as well as criminal/hostage situations.

Let’s look at each situation:

Condition A: The Perceived Threat (to one's survival)

The perception of threat can be formed by direct methods, indirect methods, or witnessed methods. Direct methods are seen in criminal or antisocial people that directly threaten your life or the life of
friends and family. Their history of violence leads us to believe that the captor/controller will carry out the threat in a direct manner if we fail to comply with their demands. The abuser assures us that only our cooperation keeps our loved ones safe.

Indirectly, the abuser/controller offers threats that you will never leave them or have another partner, reminding you that people in the past have paid dearly for not following the abuser/controller’s wishes. Hints may be offered such as "I know people who can make others disappear". Indirect threats also come from the stories told by the abuser or controller – how they obtained revenge on those who have crossed them in the past. Stories of revenge may be told to remind the victim that revenge is possible if they leave.

Witnessing abuse is also abusive to the witness, indirectly. A child viewing another child being beaten or abused) instills feelings of intimidation and fear in the mind of the viewer. Witnessing violence or aggression becomes a perceived threat. Witnessing a person’s violent temper directed at something like a television set, or other (unknown) people on the highway, or at some outside third party clearly sends
the message that “we” could be the next target for violence or rage. Witnessing the thoughts and attitudes of the abuser/controller is threatening and intimidating, knowing that “we” will be the target of those thoughts in the future.

This is the “micro-level” of the “perceived threat condition” of the Stockholm Syndrome. What is the “macro” or Geo-political level? We could even ask the question: What are the “perceived threats” that you hearing about? However, there is a problem with applying the condition of “perceived threats” at the level of societal and Geo-political threats because these threats are actually very real. But, the question to ask is “where” do the real threats come from.

From a geo-political perspective, “societal threats” gain governments more power than anything else. People will give up all sorts of freedoms when these threats become real. And, they do become real. Today there are two primary perceived threats. One threat is “terrorism” and the other is “health”. Environmental damage is rampant around the world. In much of the world, even obtaining clean drinking water is a major concern. In addition, pandemics are being discussed and touted; and mandatory inoculation is the “perceived fix” to this very real threat.

We will go into more detail about “war/terrorism”, but for the moment, just consider some of the original meanings on this matter from older dictionaries.

...and yet another definition of the "word of the year" from the New Universal Handbook - 1926

It seems that the definition has changed over the years. Maybe it's not the definition that's different.

Condition B: The “Small Kindness” Perspective

In threatening or survival conditions, people will look for evidences of hope – a small sign that the situation might improve. When an abuser/controller shows the victim some small kindness, the victim interprets the “kindness” as a positive trait of the captor, even though it is to the abusers benefit as well. The benefit to the abuser/controller is that it keeps the victim “locked” into the relationship and “the conditions” by attachment.

In criminal/war hostage situations, letting the victim live is often enough. Small behaviors, such as allowing a bathroom visit or providing food/water, are enough to strengthen Stockholm Syndrome in criminal hostage events.

In relationships with abusers, a birthday card, a gift (usually provided after a period of abuse), or a special treat are interpreted as not only positive, but evidence that the abuser is not "all bad". You will hear comments about the abuser from the victims of this type of relationship like; “well they are not all that bad” or “I can handle the way they are” or “the way they are doesn’t really bother me that much”. The hope is that the abuser/controller may at some time correct his or her behavior.

Abusers and controllers are often given positive credit for not abusing their partner, when the partner would have “normally” been subjected to verbal or physical abuse in a certain situation. An aggressive and jealous partner may normally become intimidating or abusive in certain social situations, as when an opposite-sex coworker waves in a crowd. After seeing the wave, the victim expects to be verbally battered and when it doesn't happen, that "small kindness" is interpreted as a positive sign.

Similar to the “small kindness perspective” is the perception of a "softer side" to the abuser. During the relationship, the abuser/controller may share information about their past – how they were mistreated, abused, neglected, or wronged. The victim begins to feel that the abuser/controller may be capable of fixing their behavior or worse yet, that they (abuser) may also be a "victim". Sympathy may develop toward the abuser and we often hear the victim of Stockholm Syndrome defending their abuser with "I know he fractured my jaw and ribs…but he's troubled. He had a rough childhood!"

Abusers may even admit they need help or acknowledge that they are mentally disturbed, however, it's almost always after they have already abused or intimidated the victim. The admission is a way of denying responsibility for the verbal or physical abuse inflicted by the abuser on the victim. This is another way that abusers keep their victims “locked” into the cycle of becoming “accustomed” to the behaviors of the abuser. The societal paradigm is totally ingrained into many cultures to give the abuser “the benefit of the doubt”.

In truth, personality disorders and criminals have learned over the years that personal responsibility for their violent/abusive behaviors can be minimized (and even denied) by blaming their bad upbringing, abuse as a child. In more modern times, such abusers/controller blame video games or bad eating habits. The bottom line is to use any manipulation possible to “keep the victim locked into the abuser” by excusing the verbal or physical abuse. No victim of abuse or a crime has ever heard their abuser say "I'm beating (robbing, mugging, etc.) you because my Mom hated me!" during the event.

While most of the time it is true that the abuser/controller had a difficult upbringing from which they “learned” certain behavioral patterns – showing sympathy for his/her history produces no change in their behavior. In fact, most of the time showing sympathy only prolongs the length of time you will be abused.

While "sad stories" are always included in their apologies – after some abusive or controlling event - their behavior never changes! Keep in mind; once you become hardened to the abuser’s "sad stories", they will simply try another manipulative approach to “suck the victim back into” and keep the victim “locked’ into the abuser.

This is the “micro-level” of the “small kindness condition” of the Stockholm Syndrome. What is the “macro” or Geo-political level? What “small kindnesses” are you hearing about?

Well…

How about the constant promise made by politicians (in America and other “nations”) about “change” and the promise that “things are going to get better”? [Think about this “kindness”…Why should “things” have to get better? And, who’s making “things” worse?]

How about the “promised kindness” of lowering your taxes? It “feels” good doesn’t it? This type of “promised kindness” brings about [alleged] “evidences of hope” and instills a sense of promise and survival of the victims of the Geo-political construct, even when the Geo-political system is bringing “its people” to their knees.

You want more “promised kindnesses”…how about “we” will increase your benefits, your retirement, and social “security”? How about “free” health care benefits? This is the mantra of the political machine in almost every nation on the planet. The “promise” of betterment….better days ahead…a “new deal”…a contract “with America”…a new governmental structure…out with the old administration and in with the new…building a consensus or a coalition…creation of new jobs…provide education and no child left behind…security for the homeland…protect your borders…beefing up the infrastructure…monitor terrorism…provide inoculation for a possible pandemic…bailout the banks and factories…new growth…regain our moral compass…retrain “our” young people…the children are “our” future...and “our” best days are yet to come.

Then, when none of this happens and as “YOUR CONDITION” gets worse…it is because “they didn’t understand the problems”…”they didn’t foresee some issue”…”they overspent in this area” because didn’t “understand the “needs of the people”…; SO…it’s time to “chart a new course”…”change direction again”…and “recapture what was lost”. Its time for a “new administration”….RIGHT?

You live in what men call “America”. Or, perhaps you live in some other geo-political system; a country or “nation” or “kingdom” like China, France, Australia, or the United Kingdom.

You are taught from the time you were born by parents, school teachers, and other authoritarian types (such as ministers and priests)…that you are free. You are taught that you are “lucky” to have been born into this world at such a time where you “have so much more than others throughout history”. You are trained and indoctrinated that you have “all the opportunity” in the world to be “rich, and powerful, and famous”…that you can achieve your every dream…even become PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. You are promised that the state or government “is here for you”, and will “protect you” and “care” for you.

Year after year, newspapers and all other media sources drum out message upon message upon message of “your freedom”; and even more than this….“your God-given rights”.

“God-given rights”!!! What is this?

I want you to really think about this, since ALL “GODS” ARE NOT THE SAME...(or are they?)

Have you been taught “true universal principle” or have you been indoctrinated that THE STATE;…the Country…the Nation is, in fact, “God”?

The Syndrome

On August 23rd, 1973 two machine-gun carrying criminals entered Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg in Stockholm, Sweden. Blasting their guns, a prison escapee named Jan-Erik Olsson announced to the terrified bank employees "The party has just begun!" The two bank robbers held four hostages, three women and one man, for the next 131 hours. The hostages were strapped with dynamite and held in a bank vault until finally rescued on August 28th.

After their rescue the hostages exhibited shocking attitudes toward their victimizers considering the fact that they were abused and threatened with loss of life for over five days. In their media interviews, it was clear that the hostages supported their captors and actually feared those in law enforcement who came to their rescue. The hostages had begun to feel the captors were actually protecting them from the police. One woman later became engaged to one of the criminals and another developed a legal defense fund to aid in their criminal defense fees.

In a nutshell; out of fear of violence or abuse, the captives begin to identify with their captors/abusers as a defense mechanism. Because of the fear of death and violence and/or rage being exhibited by the captor/abuser, finding logical perspective is by definition, impossible. Even small acts of kindness made by the captors/abusers are magnified and the captives/victims view rescue attempts as a threat, since it is likely that the captives would be injured during any attempt that would be made to gain their freedom.

It is important to note that these symptoms occur under either tremendous emotional and physical duress. According to the psychoanalytical view of Stockholm Syndrome, this tendency to “bond” with an abuser might well be the result of “the victim” (whatever age) employing the strategy evolved by newborn babies to form an emotional attachment to the nearest powerful adult in order to maximize the probability that this adult will at the least enable the survival of the child, if not also prove to be a “good parental” figure.

Therefore, although this syndrome has other names that are not readily identifiable due to societal acceptances of fear and dysfunction and misrepresentation (as “normal”); Stockholm Syndrome is also a common survival strategy for victims of interpersonal abuse. The emotional "bonding" with captors was a familiar story in psychology. Before being publicly named “Stockholm Syndrome”, the condition had been recognized many years before and was found in studies of other hostage, prisoner, or abusive situations such as:

Abused Children

Battered/Abused Women

Prisoners of War

Cult Members

Incest Victims

Criminal Hostage Situations

Concentration Camp Prisoners

Controlling/Intimidating Relationships

In the final analysis, emotionally bonding with an abuser is actually a strategy for survival by the victims of abuse and intimidation. The "Stockholm Syndrome" reaction in hostage and/or abuse situations is so well recognized, that police hostage negotiators no longer view it as unusual. In fact, it is often encouraged in crime situations as it improves the chances for survival of the hostages. On the down side, it also assures that the hostages experiencing "Stockholm Syndrome" will not be very cooperative during rescue or criminal prosecution. Local law enforcement personnel have long recognized this syndrome with battered women who fail to press charges, bail their battering husband/boyfriend out of jail, and even physically attack police officers when they arrive to rescue them from a violent assault.

Stockholm Syndrome (SS) can also be found in family, romantic, and interpersonal relationships. The abuser may be a husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, father or mother, or any other role in which the abuser is in a position of control or authority.

This also applies to governments and geo-political systems. This syndrome is considered a prime example for the defense mechanism of “identification”. People fear the police or the “system”, but are “proud to be an American”. Practically all people will even call the geo-political system “their government”; taking on a “personal” possession of that which they claim is abusing them.