The random ramblings of someone who should probably be on some kind of medication.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

NO! It's NOT a party in the USA!

Dear gym:

I beg of you, please please PLEASE stop playing that stupid Miley Cyrus song. You know the one I'm talking about. For the love of my last remaining thread of sanity, just stop! I've had the song stuck in my head ever since coming home from work at 4 and I am not amused.

Look, I know I'm just a lowly employee of the pro shop and not one of your valued exercise fiends, but I think I deserve just a little respect. I mean, does this really jazz up the people on the exercise bikes? Maybe they're trying to pedal faster to get away from that damn song!

I worked the entire weekend. I worked the past four days, and you never fail to play that song. Are you trying to torture us? Is this some sick twisted psychology experiment designed to test how far a person can be pushed before going apeshit insane? If so, I think four days of such a test is quite enough. Any further, and you may find me under the counter in the fetal position chanting "party in the USA."

There will no longer be a party in the USA, gym, if you do not straighten up. I know you're toying with me now because last time you were playing good music. I was singing along to the Beach Boys when it faded out in the middle of the song. And what should happen to fade in at that point? You guessed it...MILEY F$@KING CYRUS!

Do you really want to be responsible for the mental breakdown of an employee, gym? Do you think that'll look good on your part? Consider this a warning. If I hear "Party in the USA" one more time, I may begin to think I'm Miley Cyrus and run around the gym yelling "HANNAH MONTANA FOREVER!" while grinding on the exercise equipment. Do you really want that?