Friday, November 28, 2008

New skin for the old ceremony

If there's anything The Left loves most, it's siccing their Liberal Media attack dogs on those of us who don't hew to their PC line. This was all too evident this past "election" when Joe the Plumber was mau-maued by noted Katie Couric impersonator Shepard Smith for asserting his God-given right to talk out his ass. Well, Joe the Plumber should meet Lois the Drunken Harlot, because she's being similarly pilloried by the MSM for having the audacity to be heterosexual in Barack Hussein Obama's America:

A Carroll woman who was caught having sex in the men's room at an Iowa Hawkeye football game in Minneapolis last weekend says she’d had so much wine before kickoff that she doesn’t remember walking into the restroom, the man she had sex with in a stall, or when the police opened the door.

What Lois Feldman, 38, will remember is the humiliation afterward.

“It’s ruined my life,” she said through tears today. “Not just the incident but the press.”

Sister Nancy Beth shares Lois' tears, because clearly she's the latest victim of a liberal conspiracy that was conceived when Bill & Hillary Clinton took their first acid trip together. Not only does Mrs. Feldman's heterosexual vigor make her such a coveted trophy for The Left, but she was led into this perfect storm of binge drinking, carefree fornication, and sporting events by those most vengeful of harpies, feminists:

Feldman, who describes herself as a light drinker, drank wine at the home of family friends before the football game.

She said she doesn’t remember how much she drank, but the party’s hosts refilled her glass each time it was low “so I’m sure I drank a lot.”

Feldman said her husband later told her he’d tried to talk her out of the game because she was intoxicated.

“He said I didn’t realize it was that bad,” she said.

Feldman said her husband accompanied her to the game, but their friends stayed home.

Feminism offers two paths to "womynhood" for their recruits: the bitter, accusatory lesbianism practiced by the likes Rosie O'Donnell and Kathleen Parker, or total skankdom; Mrs. Feldman seems to have fallen prey to both.

First, if Hillary and her angry band of Amazons hadn't agitated for Title IX and girls' compulsory participation in sports, our hapless victim would have been content to stay home and clean like any good Christian homemaker. Second, America's liberal universities have made a night of black-out drinking and casual sex a requirement for graduation, even going so far as to require proof in the form of an abortion or an STD -- Ever wonder what those women's health clinics on campus were for? Now you know.

As long as the fake Americans are calling the shots for Our Nation, we will continue to see more human sacrifice of this sort to the false gods of multiculturalism. Hope for the restoration of Traditional Christian Values will come when conservatives again hold the reins of power. Only then will straight people regain the Freedom to screw in public restrooms with impunity. Praise Him!