Professional. Aunt. No kids.

Post navigation

If I was Lena Dunham’s aunt

I’d place my arm around her shoulder, guide her gently to one side and have a quiet word. Gobby woman to gobby woman.

Coming from your Aunty Anne, a prolific chatterer, to say, “think before you speak”, is quite something. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, it’s (earth-shattering) pertinent and important to heed.

There have been times, when I thought that the company I was with, was ready to hear about my sexual escapades and my London shenanigans and all manner of other things we won’t go into here. But there’s nothing quite like a puzzled/stoney/uncomfortable silence, to convince you that in fact, completely the opposite is true.

So I’ll be damned if the world is even close to being ready to hear about kids touching each others peepees, even if it was borne simply out of a natural, childish inquisitiveness. Because, let’s face it, that’s all it is. If they’re going to stick their fingers in poo, eat worms, and shove random small objects up their noses (Lego bricks and teddy stuffing), then they’re going to poke a boob or touch a bum. Or a foufou. I mean, come on, how many times have you seen mums in the street, pulling their child’s hand away from their bits? Millions. Kids just do it, without thought.

Bear in mind, we’re only just coming to terms with women (speaking) having opinions at all, and this itself is still making a large proportion of the population’s ears bleed. Let’s try not to overstep any more boundaries quite so soon, and talk about a natural part of growing up, and the innocent exploration that is a vital part of that.

Lena darling, it is true, you maybe could have chosen your words more wisely, and maybe your editors could have given you some better guidance. In fact, I place a lot of the responsibility with them. But the fact is, in this case, the World just ain’t ready for that kind of crazy talk any time soon, and there really is such a thing as over sharing.