Friday, April 03, 2009

For those about to Twitter: I salute you. You're taking a step in the right direction! Twitter will absolutely help you to connect to your audience (assuming your audience is on Twitter, right?), whether that audience is "women over the age of 35 who read AdBusters" or "skateboarders who are obsessed with Dogtown." Good on ya for making the jump from scoffer to believer, or at least to willing-er. (If you're still not convinced, don't tell me about it, unless you want me to make you read Havi's post again. I'll do it! I ain't afraid.)

Anyway, strange perceptions about Twitter abound, and I field so many questions about it that I thought perhaps a basic how-to would be useful. Also, last night I attended an event for women in business (it was good, y'all!), and the Twitter-related questions directed toward Alaia Williams, who spoke about social media, made me see just how widespread the, well, HOW-exactly-does-this-Twitter-thing-go?! conundrum is. Here, then, are the five things I find most important. It's obviously not A Comprehensive Guide to Twittering Success. Also, it is in no way meant to imply that my own Tweets are fascinatingly perfect, or even live anywhere near that neighborhood. Rather, it's a broad-strokes version of what I try to keep in mind as I do this.

Ready? Okay.

1. Be polite (gosh!). You're there to participate in discussions. I know you know this, but sometimes we all have trouble remembering it and start thinking we're there to perform THE MOST AMAZING MONOLOGUE THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. (I am guilty of this myself. Which is why it's good that I also have a blog.) Discussions involve other people, other points of view, and require your attention. Respond to the people who send you @ messages, particularly if you are big on asking open-ended questions. Even more particularly if you use people's responses as market research. Otherwise, you look like a boor. And I don't know about you, but I do enough boor impersonations in person; the least I can do for my cause is try not to do it in text.

2. Provide useful and/or interesting content. I can't tell you how many otherwise interesting people I've shied away from on Twitter simply because their updates read something like this:

otherwiseawesome Going to bed.otherwiseawesome Hey guys good morning!otherwiseawesome Had really great pasta lunchotherwiseawesome Brushing teeth to go out pesto in teeth! LOLotherwiseawesome Going to bed.

To quote @maggie: No one cares what you had for lunch. Is there an article you think is really helpful/inspiring/hilarious? An application/band/bakery you've just started using/listening to/frequenting that you can't get enough of? Chances are very good someone else will feel the same way about it! Give people the opportunity to learn about things they may otherwise never hear about. Weigh in on a debate. Suggest a new way of doing things. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering; sincerity really does go a long way here. Did you see something bizarre on your way home from work?

3. ...But! Be human. No one is a clever-clever machine all the time. The everyday bits (minutia, if you will!) can be just as interesting as the clever-clever bits. Context is everything. For instance, @kellysims is a freelance graphic designer; he often Tweets about on-the-job idiosyncracies, and you don't need to be a designer to be in on the joke:

kellysims I'm working from a photocopied paper that has been marked up with orange marker, red pen and black pen. All by 3 people. Oh, and stickies.

At the opposite end of the spectrum is another of my favorites, @nickcave, whose full name is Fake Nick Cave. The person behind it obviously knows a lot about the real Nick Cave--enough that nearly all of the Tweets are everyday bits, which is what makes them hilarious:

4. Improve your editing skills. This sounds all tedious and scholarly, but all it means is: figure out which parts of your message are the most compelling. You've only got 140 characters, so make each one count. Look around at the people whose Tweets you find most interesting. I bet you'll find their content is short, sweet and to the point. Which is kind of the point, after all; Twitter isn't for rambling. Plus, no one likes to read a message comprised primarily of abbreviated words.

5. Avoid the hard sell. Avoid it like the plague. I mean, look--so many of us are entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, what-have-you. It's almost a given that if you're on Twitter, you've got a blog, at the very least, that you'd like to promote. If you're selling something, the way to do it on Twitter is to be interested, interesting and sincere. There are so many services looking for customers out there that your personality is going to be the number-one thing that sets you apart. If you come across all "What's it going to take to send you home with a car today?" then chances are pretty good you will annoy the very people whose business you want.

In the end, what you need to know on Twitter really isn't all that different from what you already know about life. Be nice. Be interested. Be generous. Be self-aware. Be your best self. The sky may be falling and the web may seem like the Wild West even at this late date, but it's still a very (very, very) small world. Act accordingly, and you'll be pleased with the outcome.

Emma Alvarez Gibson

I write copy that hits just the right nerve--be it as simple as a bio or as intensive as a whole new campaign.

Some other things about me: in my quest to pack several lifetimes into one, I have: produced a zine, which sold at a big-name bookstore in West Hollywood; created an online magazine for teenage girls (Lulu Magazine, now defunct); started a theater company; written, produced and performed original theater; written, sung and recorded music with the band Agent Vertigo; and sold my handmade goods via my Etsy shop. I am married to the best man on the planet, with whom I share a delightful 3-year-old boy; I quite enjoy typography and gin; and harbor a fervent desire to a) speak every language in the world and b) move to New Zealand, despite my intense and disproportionately loyal love for the City of Angels.

In No Particular Order: Things To Do Before Shuffling Off

1. Own and live in a big house by the ocean2. Sing in a band3. Tend a prolific garden of my own4. Live in New Zealand5. Publish a novel or book of short stories6. Sing onstage with Neil Finn (preferably the song Nails In My Feet)7. Become fluent in French8. Learn conversational Japanese9. Make more money freelancing than working for The Man10. Visit Paris11. Own a Labrador (this requires owning a yard as well)12. Record music with a band13. Earn a degree in linguistics14. Send spiritual/emotional support regularly to people who are incarcerated for religious beliefs, as well as financial support to their families15. Get really good at practicing peace16. Learn to look my fear of my own anger in the face, and dismantle its power17. Return to Italy and England18. Visit Antarctica19. Hike regularly20. Meet Clint Eastwood21. Be a buyer for a store that sells amazing, beautiful, strange wonders22. Find the haircut that suits me best23. Find and marry a man who is handsome, clever, strong, sensitive, tough, independent, loving, kind, handy, a good cook and treats me like a queen24. Have the bulk of my diet be whole, healthy, organic foods25. Be free from diabetes26. Be free from headaches27. See some of the equipment from Ernest Shackleton's Antarctic voyages28. See (and touch!!) Frank Worsley's notes from the Endurance voyage29. Visit Ireland and sing a traditional song accompanied by musicians in a pub

The Best Parts.

"Given that we can only live a small part of what there is in us--what happens with the rest?" Night Train to Lisbon, Pascal Mercier

"Those who have an orphan's sense of history love history." Divisadero, Michael Ondaatje

"Was this what came from thoughts of time running out and death: that all of sudden you didn't know anymore what you wanted? That you didn't know your own will anymore? That you lost the obvious familiarity with your own wishes? And in this way became strange and a problem to yourself?" Night Train to Lisbon, Pascal Mercier

"Arriving at each new city, the traveler finds again a past of his that he did not know he had: the foreignness of what you no longer are or no longer possess lies in wait for you in foreign, unpossessed places." Invisible Cities, Italo Calvino

"He was thin, like some lost animal, some idea." Anil's Ghost, Michael Ondaatje

"There remained the big envelope. Katie opened it slowly. Inside was a beautiful pink satin heart with lace edges. She sucked in her breath and turned the card over. No name was signed. Who--? Katie stared around the room. And saw Edwin Jones just looking away, the tips of his ears bright pink, as pink as the satin heart. So! Katie John let out her breath. There was a silly prickling around her eyeballs, and she blinked her eyes quickly. No one gave satin hearts to tomboys." Depend on Katie John, Mary Calhoun

"My God, don't they know? This stuff is simulacra of simulacra. A diluted tincture of Ralph Lauren, who had himself diluted the glory days of Brooks Brothers, who themselves had stepped on the product of Jermyn Street and Savile Row, flavoring their ready-to-wear with liberal lashings of polo knit and regimental stripes. But Tommy surely is the null point, the black hole. There must be some Tommy Hilfiger event horizon, beyond which it is impossible to be more derivative, more removed from the source, more devoid of soul. Or so she hopes, and doesn't know, but suspects in her heart that this in fact is what accounts for his long ubiquity." Pattern Recognition, William Gibson

"This was sunstroke or dengue fever or malaria. When they got back to Colombo she would have tests done. 'It's the sun,' Sarath murmured. 'I'll buy you a bigger hat. I'll buy you a bigger hat. I'll buy you a bigger hat.'" Anil's Ghost, Michael Ondaatje

"To be able to part from something, he thought as the train started moving, you had to confront it in a way that created internal distance. You had to turn the unspoken, diffuse self-understanding it had wrapped around you into a clarity that showed what it meant to you. And that meant it had to congeal into something with distinct contours." Night Train to Lisbon, Pascal Mercier

"There is a great history of people being given the wrong book, at some key moment in their lives." Divisadero, Michael Ondaatje