“At the
end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how
much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged
by 'I was hungry and you gave me food to eat, I was naked and you clothed me, I
was homeless and you took me in.' Hungry not only for bread - but hungry for
love. Naked not only for clothing - but naked for human dignity and respect.
Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks - but homeless because of
rejection." Mother Teresa

As I heard, again, of another shooting in Malden, I eagerly scanned the news for any
information I could find, wanting to ensure that it did not happen near the
schools my children were in. Whew! They were safe; hence, my tiny world was
perfect again. As the day progressed and
I finally had a few moments, I meandered over to the comments section of the
Malden Patch. I clucked and tisked like
an old hen as I silently nodded my head in agreement at some of the people that
were voicing their opinions in regards to that crime and previous crimes that
have been committed against my beloved City of Malden. Some of the finger pointing made sense and
the “City” is most assuredly to blame for all of this crime. Right?

As the hours ticked by, I soon learned that Shawn Clark, a
husband, a father, a son, a friend, had passed away from his wounds. Slowly I watched as the proverbial finger
slowly turned from others and towards me.
What did I do? I was not
involved. I did not do anything! As if a
brick dropped on my head, I understood in that one moment. My face heated in embarrassment and shame as my
internal voice agreed. That is correct,
Kelly. You did nothing.

In that very moment I realized I needed to apologize to you
all for many things. So, to everyone in
the City of Malden,
I am sorry.

I apologize for my indifference, as each crime took place. Because it was not against “my family”, I did
nothing.

I apologize for not taking the time to attend the meetings
of the City officials in trying to get residents to come together and take some
sort of action, because Lord only knows, I didn’t even try to come up with a
plan of my own. Again, I did nothing.

I apologize for my complacency, as a Malden resident and voter. I have a say in
how this beloved city is run, yet I did nothing.

I apologize for walking down the street and not picking up
the trash as I go, allowing my City streets to remain cluttered and filthy. Instead of taking pride in where I live, I
have chosen instead to blame others, walk by and do nothing.

I apologize for not setting a positive example to our youth,
through my own actions, words and attitudes - choosing instead to do nothing.

I apologize to all of the small businesses in Malden, for not
patronizing your establishments more and getting to know you better. For you, I did nothing.

I apologize to everyone that I have passed walking down the
streets in Malden,
avoiding eye contact with you. Making excuses
and justifying my behavior because you are strangers to me, you look different
or you did not look back; again, I did nothing.

I can’t fix the past but going forward, I promise to take
responsibility and accountability for my actions. Instead of judging or placing blame, I will
look for the perfection in each of you and ask that you do the same with me. Then
I will ask, “what can I do to help”, instead of asking or expecting others to
do all of the work.

We all look to the outside world, and eagerly place
blame on the senseless violence that is surrounding us. Maybe, and this is just a thought, we need to
first look within ourselves and our own families and ask, “are we doing enough
to improve who we are and who our children are”……and if we work harder on
ourselves, maybe that would be the first step in improving what is going on
around us.