Morrisons trolleys to appear in a canal near you

The end of the £1 shopping trolley coin slot is nigh – Morrisons are ditching the trolley security measure, so it can make life easier for shoppers (and for people who want to recreate the iconic Bitterwallet logo and chuck them in the river).

The trolley security device has been in existence for 20 years, and has effectively put an end to drunk people stealing them and roaming around the town centre yelling ‘I'm a happy shopper!’ while vomiting rainbows of Mad Dog 20/20.

Morrisons say that CCTV combined with bollards will be enough to halt a return to the bad old days of trolley stealing, and plan to free 150,000 trolleys from their shackles. However, the locks will remain in place in high crime areas, city centres, and in hilly areas where they might roll away.

‘Our nation is getting busier.’ Says the new CEO of Morrisons, Dalton Phillips. ‘We have less free time than previous generations and customers have told us that they want a quicker shop. The removal of trolley locks is just one of the many improvements we are making to our store – to make for a faster and easier shopping trip.’

*all trolleys are instantly nicked and melted down for £££s*

[P.S. We know the Feral Trolley Of The Week needs updating more frequently, but we're having technical issues, so stop reminding us. It's irritating us more than it is irrita... who are we kidding, no-one's as irritated as you. Ed]

1 comment

2 years agoSawyer

This is not an improvement. Sure, I hate having to find £1 to put into a trolley, but nowhere near as much as I hate having to get out of my car before parking it in order to remove trolleys from my intended parking space. At least the £1 coins are enough incentive for the lazy arses to return their trolley to a suitable location.