Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Hannibal Hannah

My Lady kept saying “Hannah is coming. Hannah is coming.”
What the heck is a Hannah?

Hannah turned out to be an older gal, completely bonkers
about balls and set about using her wicked teeth to destroy every toy in the
house. The flying squirrel was no more.

She barreled into the place like she was Queen Sheba or
something. Grabbed every toy in her mouth like she was gathering nuts for the
winter. There is nothing worse than a dog with a hoarding problem.

I hate to admit it but I actually felt sorry the little
Jaeger meister. She claimed every toy in the joint and not once played with
him. He kept following her around waiting for a morsel of fun, but nope. She was
on a mission. Grabbed every toy she could stuff in her mouth and then would plop
down on top of them like she was stockpiling for winter.

All of this happened in the first fifteen minutes of her
arrival. In my house, I might add. If I wasn’t so doped up on pain killers I
might have said something. Maybe. Naps are always better. I never liked
confrontation too much. Especially with the older broads. Something about them
was just like hands off buddy, if you know what’s good for you. For some crazy
reason My Lady loved the old broads. The older the better she said. Which is
kinda nuts, but I've learned to accept it.

So I’m a good hour or so into my hourly nap when all hell
breaks loose.

At some point, Hannibal Hannah decided to dissect the room
with her body, literally lying half in the room across the floor, barricading little Jaeger from getting to any
of his toys, or his favorite chair.

He’s
quietly whimpering in the corner, pacing back and forth, trying to figure out a
way to get around the big she-beast. Hannah’s doing what all females do when
they feel like making someone crazy and completely ignoring him.

I looked at crazy Lady’s status, but she’s got her head
buried in her machine, completely oblivious to the oncoming situation. Oh lord,
this should be good.

All of sudden, little Jaeger leaps over Hannah, does this
crazy back kick thing that was really quite impressive, grabs his tiny mouse
thingy, and tries to make a jump for the chair. Hannah has other ideas. She
stands up during his mid-air twist and little J man went flying back, his mouse
thingy now airborne.

A free for all in Hannah’s eyes, who easily snatches
Jaeger’s beloved mouse in her shark-like jaws.

Stunned by his failure, little Jaeger sets off a howl that
made every hair on my body stand up. I’m not kidding, I felt like a porcupine. Hannah
drops the mouse and joins in, of course. Nothing like a good howl at the top of
your lungs at 9AM to get the blood pumping.

I do what any good host does and join in. My howling is booming
loud and really off key, the best howl there is, in my opinion.

My Lady’s thinking “not so much” and drowns us all out by turning up her
classical music. How she stays awake to that stuff I have no idea. I’m out like
a light. Considering the silence from J man and Hannibal, I’m guessing they’re
out too.