Adele Will Release A New Album Mid-2014…I Hope I Can Hold My Breath That Long

Are you ready for a new Adele album? I’m sorry, that’s a stupid question. That’s like asking, “Are you going to finish your dessert sampler?” or “Do you mind holding this adorable puppy?” or “Hi, my name is Amy Poehler. Is it okay if I sit beside you right now and for a few more hours while we cement our best-friendship?” The answer is now and always will be UH YUH DUH! And luckily for you in this instance, Adele happens to feel the same way, as there are rumors swirling that we can expect a new album from her as early as ‘mid-2014′.

Ah sweet sweet promises of the future. Never has a date sounded so sweet and melodious as ‘mid-2014′. I can’t believe I’ve never thought to schedule anything for mid-2014, as it’s like…the most romantic of all possible dates. I just never realized it before, until Adele opened my eyes. I think I might set that as my wedding date — wouldn’t that look nice on the invitations? On this day of mid-2014, please join us in celebration of the union of Alexis Rhiannon and…oh, I guess I’ll just add the guy’s name in when I meet him. No need to rush, it’s still a little over a year away. We’ll fix it in post.

According to multiple outlets, Adele is in full ‘lockdown mode’ at a London recording studio, and a source reports to The Mirror:

“Four tracks are finished in terms of writing and she’s now laying down preliminary vocals with backing music and singers,” adding, “The feel is very much Adele going back to her roots, with some modern jazz and a couple of classic old songs.”

Meep! Meep meep meep! Those are my excited robot sounds. They’re all I have left to fall back on when Adele doesn’t have any new music out to scrape my soul bare and set me on the path to self-awareness. I can’t wait until it’s ‘late-2014′, when I’ll have already heard the new album and I can successfully assimilate into the general population again. *Approximation of human smile.* Sigh. Needs work.