Online dating profile interests

There is one question I get over and over from guys who email me, and I got this one again recently.

It’s about how to write about your hobbies and interests in your online dating profile and make it sound like it’s different from other guys.

The email says:

For interests , when you have average hobbies (like shopping , playing tennis …), how not to write banalities in your description and not bore women? Because TONS of men have these same hobbies! And the goal is to stand out of the crowd.

This question is perfect because this guy understands that you need to stand out even when your hobbies seem so average or normal.
First of all, there is a damn good chance that the interests you have ARE different than other guys.

For example, I don’t play tennis and I hate shopping. You’re already unique from me.

Even if you DO have really “normal” hobbies, there is a way to totally separate yourself from every other guy who has that same interest.

I’ve touched on it here in the blog, but for those of you who are new here, let me give you a brief recap.

Women are FEELING creatures. They are run by their EMOTIONS. They like to talk about how they feel and what something made them feel.

Guys on the other hand tend to be more rational and thought orientated. We process things logically. We talk about what we think.

So…

If you want to make something that seems boring… (I’ll take shopping and playing tennis since those are the examples in the email, but I don’t think either of those are boring), all you have to do is spin those in your online dating profile and write about how each of those things makes you FEEL.

Describe your passion for them, after all passion is a feeling too. A very powerful and contagious feeling actually.

AND, if it’s possible, use your interests to CONNECT with a girl.

So, let’s take shopping and I’ll show you how you could write that up in your online dating profile.

I love killing an afternoon shopping. I don’t even have to buy anything to have a great time (which drives my guy friends crazy). But, there is a real sense of satisfaction from finding just that perfect thing.

See what I’m doing here?

I connect with her and her world by telling her about my experience shopping, not even having to buy anything for it to be a success.

Window shopping is a woman thing. she will understand. And she will love it that your guy friends don’t get it, because NEITHER DO HER GUY FRIENDS. You connect there again.

And then you tell how shopping gives you a sense of satisfaction. Again, she can relate. You are in her world. She thinks you understand her.

Got that?

Okay, good.

Let’s try it with playing tennis.

Most women aren’t competitive. They aren’t going to play a sport to compete against someone. They play to have a sense of community with their teammates and even opponents.

Or they might do sports casually to stay in shape or to better themselves.

So, you can (you don’t have to though), mimic this kind of thinking in your online dating profile write-up…

I love playing tennis just to keep my mind and body active. It’s not always about winning to me, it’s getting out and enjoying the day and the person I’m playing with. I love that I get better each time I play and the feeling I get after a great game with a friend.

Again, we connect with her on her level. We talk about how the game makes us feel IN VERY VAGUE TERMS.

You want to leave the interpretation of your feelings to her imagination sometimes. You just say “I love the way X makes me feel. Then let them think, “Me too!!! I’m the same way!!!” connection made and she types you a quick message.

Ria, I’m not sure if you mean for this to be an online dating email message or not. but i’m curious if this has ever worked for you. given that most guys don’t get many messages from women, it might. but for a guy to send to a girl? i doubt it. as a woman, what has been your success rate with this? JT