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6 Tips About College Admissions Results

By Tanya Caldwell March 30, 2012 3:08 pmMarch 30, 2012 3:08 pm

For students, the results of the college application process can be both an exhilarating and painful experience. There are the surprises of being accepted into reach schools, and the rejections from colleges once considered shoe-ins. And, of course, the purgatory of the wait list.

Once all those acceptances, rejections and deferments are tallied, there is the stark realization that it is time to choose your future. Many students have until May 1 to make up their minds.

For some, the choice will be easy. For others, the decision will require further analysis, financial calculations and, perhaps, some soul searching to find the right fit.

On Thursday, readers of The Choice gathered around our virtual kitchen table to share admissions results and reassurances. Here are some words of wisdom from readers who joined us:

1. Don’t take it personally.

I had a brilliant English teacher who looked at a room full of the top students at my competitive New England high school and said, “The elite colleges pull out the files for all of the most qualified applicants, stand at the top of a long staircase, and toss them down. The ones that reach the foot of the staircase are admitted. Accept admissions decisions, good or bad, with a grain of salt and some humility.”

I went to a great college (not Ivy), was accepted to Teach for America, and now attend a top graduate program and I have no doubt that the caliber of the institutions I attended shaped me in a positive way. That being said, I’ve never forgotten my teacher’s advice and I pass it on as often as possible. The top programs are worth fighting to get into, but neither admission or rejection is as personal as it feels. Good luck!

Both my daughters (Vassar 08 and Mount Holyoke 11) were accepted to several schools that were dream schools and rejected or wait listed by a couple of dream schools too. They both professed to be happy with their acceptances and were really happy with their eventual choices.

Remember, whether you are crying tears of joy or sorrow about your admissions decisions, you are not defined by the institution that awards your college degree. Getting in doesn’t mean life’s doors are now open to you without effort and drive. Being rejected doesn’t mean your dreams are suddenly and forever dashed. Sure, celebrate or mourn for a bit, but then realize that the truly important stuff — the love of family, the support of close friends, the desire to learn and explore — really hasn’t change at all. No matter what your envelopes say, you have survived a lengthy and often exhausting process of self-reflection and you should be commended. Well done. The world eagerly awaits your contributions.

2. Choose between price and prestige.

“M,” a current college student at a “Top 20 school in Chicago (University of Chicago or Northwestern, your guess)” said:

Although I absolutely LOVE my school, sometimes I feel guilty that my parents are paying so much for my education. Some days of class are a waste, and some material I feel like I could learn at a state school for a fraction of the price.

If you will struggle with student loans for decades after you go to an Ivy League or equivalent, it isn’t worth it. There is no magic education wand that these Top 20 schools have. You are only paying for pedigree.

One parent, “j janas,” acknowledges that the choice is a tough one to make:

My son was accepted at my alma mater, a fairly selective private liberal arts college. However, the acceptance felt almost like a rejection, as he did not receive one penny of merit aid. We have saved for his education since he was a baby, but obviously his college savings took a huge hit with the economic times. So now, this college is out of the picture because we cannot fathom him finishing college with approximately 80K in student loans to cover what we don’t have in savings. His other top choice is a well regarded public university which is much less expensive. I just wish that the choice of the college that he attends be based on the best fit for him, not the one we can best afford.

3. Visit your prospective campuses. (Again.)

One hint to parents – accepted student weekends are super important (they turned the tide for both my kids in their eventual decisions) and sincere conversations with financial aid officers about differing financial aid packages can make a difference.

4. Develop a P.R. strategy about your college plans.

I think the hardest part is not just being rejected at face value by these schools, but having to endure the incessant questions posed by teachers and other students: “Were you accepted? Did you get money? Where are you going?” Although all of the people involved in this process are very supportive, it hurts to admit you are rejected from your top choice.

In these times, I feel as if it is almost better to not tell anyone where you are applying – though it’s hard, it will make potential rejections or even waitlists all the more easy.

A mother named Anne, has an alternative solution for students who feel pressured when others ask about their college plans:

Years ago one of my sons solved that by announcing to everyone who asked that he had decided to attend truck-driving school, rather than college. Boy, that shut everyone up quick! In fact, he went on to graduate from a public university, and then on to get a masters and gainful employment. But it’s still fun when we run into people in town who want to know how our truck-driving son is doing!

5. Have a good weekend. Seriously.

And parents, be kind to your kids. No matter if they got into their first choice or their fifth. Celebrate with them in some way whether it’s a dinner out or a batch of homemade cookies. Make sure they know that if they did not get into their first choice that you are disappointed FOR them, not disappointed IN them. That’s a big difference and even at 17/18 many kids want their parents to be proud.

6. Make the most of your choice.

A college student named Katherine is happy that she chose not to apply to an Ivy League school:

I was one of the only students at my (very competitive) high school who did not apply to an Ivy League school. Instead, I applied to places that I believed would accept me and offer financial aid. I ended up at Texas Christian University with a partial scholarship and a year’s worth of credit hours already under my belt. I’ve had the most amazing professors in the world, ones who truly care about and are focused on their students. I’m graduating early with a fantastic and fulfilling education and I do not regret my decision in the least. It isn’t where you go; it is what you make of it when you get there.

There are many pathways to success and happiness. My daughter last year decided to attend a liberal arts college instead of an Ivy after being accepted at many schools (including Ivies) and deciding that she felt she would be happier at a liberal arts college given the atmosphere, smaller classes, and fit for her. Scholarship money at the smaller college was not the deciding factor but certainly made the cost about half of what the Ivy would have been. She is now very happy about her choice, loves school and is very glad she made the choice she did. Great education is available at many schools, and largely is what you make of it and the work you put into it.

Our society puts entirely too much emphasis on where you go to school, and not nearly enough on what you do when you get there. Every major college and university in the United States has top notch professors, researchers, artists and a bevy of intelligent students from a variety of backgrounds. Find them and make the most of these resources.

After you choose your school, please remember: the student who pushes him/herself to learn more, experience more and engage the professors and your intelligent colleagues more, will get infinitely more from their college education than the student who does the minimum to get by. A student from the lowliest state college, who has done this will benefit more from their college experience, and be better prepared for the world a head than the disengaged and disinterested student from the most prestigious private college.

Best of luck to the Class of 2016, where ever you go to College or University.

This list is only a start, but we encourage other readers of The Choice — counselors, parents, college students and fellow seniors — to join in. What other advice do you have for seniors, now that they’ve received their college admissions results? Please use the comments box below to share your thoughts and experience.

This week our son had to tell a school/coach, with whom we’d verbally accepted, that he had decided to enroll at another school. These calls were really tough but had to find solace in the fact that he surprisingly got into his #1 choice (academically and athletically). Tough choice and a tough call.
Anyone else go thru this?

Be brutally realistic when deciding whether or not to stay on a waitlist. Yearning for a school that is an unlikely ‘get’ prevents you from excitedly preparing for the next stage in your life. You can spend the next several months in limbo, agonizing…or you can say “yes” to a school that said “yes” to you. I say: Go where you are wanted! Buy that sweatshirt, pore over the course listings, mull your housing options, join the school’s Facebook group. It’s time to move on and embrace the future. Amazing opportunities and a bright future await you wherever you go..

Reading about what other parents and students have gone through is really comforting. Also, adults can draw from their own experiences and share that most college students are happy with the school they end up attending, even if it wasn’t their dream school. It becomes “their” school, no matter how they got there.

We?? Did your kid apply to college, or was it you? And will it be your kid going to college, or you? It appears you’ve robbed him of the personal accomplishment of being accepted (he knows who is responsible); please don’t also rob him of the chance to succeed (or fail) on his own terms in college.

Last year the Wall Street Journal published an article discussing elite colleges versus state colleges and ‘A’ students versus ‘C’ students. Both are needed and important to our culture and society. But I remember laughing out loud at one of the observations made by the article that ‘A’ students are likely to become tenured professors at elite colleges and ‘C’ students become millionaire (or billionaire) donors. The article also pointed out that many presidents of Fortune 500 companies attended state colleges. Something to think about…

Really agree with the advice not to tell teachers and friends about where you choose to apply. We recommend that strategy as well, same for SAT scores. For some chatty high school students that is difficult and makes the process very competitive.

For a few months during the admissions process, I was certain that I was going to attend one school, a selective LAC that I felt was a good fit. My SAT scores and GPA lined up with what they wanted, I had great EC’s, wrote a good essay, and interviewed. Decision time came around though, and I was waitlisted.

I was upset for a couple of days until I was accepted by a similar school with tons of merit aid and grants. It’s a little further down on the rankings, but this school has everything that I want in a college. Now I’ve joined the Facebook group, picked out the sweatshirt that I want, and am figuring out what my favorite dorm is. Even if I get off the waitlist at the other school, I don’t think I’ll go (unless they give me a full ride, which I doubt).

The number one rule of college admissions is “Love your safety”. Picking safety and low match schools that fit you is much more important than choosing reaches and obsessing over them.

I have had a number of students over the years that are ecstatic to be accepted into a couple public universities and a couple other colleges that many people would consider, ‘NOT competitive’. Not every student is a brain surgeon! Every acceptance should be appreciated! And lastly, there’s nothing wrong with going to a college because it is more affordable. Why do people feel that their son or daughter should go to the ‘best’ school they get into? particularly if it will be a stretch financially? You can get a good education at the community college up the street and if that’s how a student needs to begin his or her post-secondary education, more power to them for going!

If you need financial aid, there is an enormous benefit in attending an Ivy League school. I have a daughter who will be attending an Ivy and a son who is attending a very selective non-Ivy with a significant endowment. Yet, the financial aid package for my daughter covers almost the entire cost of attendance, and it does so with grants. My son’s package includes a grant that is less than half the size, with the balance made up of loans.

So there is a financial lottery aspect in applying to Ivy League schools. This is a bit crazy, but is surely drives applications up. More proof that we need to spend money assuring the future of our country by investing money to pay for every qualified students to go to school instead of decimating our future by transferring money to the wealthy through tax cuts.

My senior has decided to attend one of our state universities next year primarily due to financial reality! The choice was 40K of debt even after receiving top merit scholarships from the “prestigious” universities or a free education. Hmmm…..cause currently an undergraduate degree and a buck -sixty five will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Save the money for grad school.

Wait for the wait list. My daughter was on a wait list at a liberal arts college and accepted with a full scholarship at a state university. One evening in mid-May she received a surprise phone call from the Director of Admissions at the liberal arts college asking if she was still interested in attending and of course she was! Once there, no one knew who had been wait-listed. Last year she graduated Magna Cum Laude and had a thoroughly positive experience. Waiting for the wait list can work out, especially when so many students apply to 10+ colleges.

“M,” under heading 2. comments, regarding his elite school, that, “You are only paying for pedigree.” This is a claim that I here often from people who attend either elite schools or public schools, and I would like to put forward that it is entirely fallacious. The problem, I think, is that many people only attend one school and have no proper perspective to judge the chasm that separates public schools and elite private schools. I, however, do have this perspective. I am currently a student at a top 5 private university. Previously I spent time at both a top 50 private university and a flagship state school. I cannot speak to the difference in the value of degrees from schools of varying pedigrees. I can say, however, with the utmost certainty, that the experience at my current school (indeed even at the other private school I attended) has been monumentally different. I too would offer that the experience at my current school has been as much better as it is different from the public school. This is for a number of reasons. Firstly, although my current school costs more than the public school, it also has a multi-billion dollar endowment which it uses to reimburse my expenditure in a multitude of ways too great to list. Secondly, the opportunities that I have here for scholarship and research are completely lacking in a lesser university. Thirdly, while I often hear that the material for courses is the same no-matter where you go, this presumption misses a key facet of a course – the students. A class can only go as fast as its slowest quartile, and at the public school I attended this meant deathly slow. For anyone operating under the illusion that student bodies are mostly the same wherever you go, may I correct you now. The people at my school are smart – some are even very smart, a select few are brilliant. At the public school I attended there was nearly no brilliance, a select few who were very smart, a moderate minority who were smart enough to function, and a vast seething majority of mindless peons driven only by base bodily functions. This meant, as I mentioned above, that class at the public school progressed at a deathly crawl and for weeks at a time halted altogether. On the other hand at my current school we never want for work to do or for a concept to be learned. This difference in the makeup of the student body manifests itself in another way as well – and this is what I see as the most important difference between the schools. The difference is the culture. The central aspects of the culture at my previous schools were video games, sex, and the procurement and consumption of drugs and alcohol. Now dont get me wrong, these pursuits are not unrepresented at my current school and, indeed, they are noble and rewarding endeavors in their own right. They are not, however, the logical antecedent of any sort of culturally defined life success. I am not saying that going to a public school precludes success, precedent would prove me a fool if I did. What I am saying, instead, is that, to get anything useful out of a public school you have to be singularly motivated. You have to fight the culture. At my current school, the culture carries you along and helps you on your way. This does not necessarily mean that an expensive private school is worth the money. Wether it is or is not is a highly personal decision. I just want to assuage anyone who was operating under the illusion that the experience or learning is the same at a public school as at an elite private school. That claim is patently false.

Take a breath. The first days (after all of your admission decisions are in) are difficult. A few years ago, one of my students said to me, “I was surprised by how quickly that kicked-in-the-gut feeling went away. I didn’t die when I didn’t get into my first-choice school, and now I can look at the list of colleges that did accept me and think that it’s great that I have some options. Isn’t that funny?” What it was (and is), though, was life. We all have to make adjustments and deal with what’s in front of us, not what we wish might have happened. Dwelling on the rejection will only mire you in quick sand. Admissions is an inscrutable process, and it’s important that you refuse to let your self-esteem, much less your sense of purpose about your future, be determined by whether one college or another did or didn’t admit you.

As a volunteer off-campus interviewer on behalf of the admissions office of my “highly-selective” college (top 10), I ask the applicants where else have they applied.

Nearly all cough up a 10-12 name list that includes the most prestigious and expensive schools in America…plus, for most of the students, one public institution as a backup.

Most of the kids are from middle-class families that cannot afford — not even close! — tuition, room, board, and transporation.

Therefore, if the list does not include one of the state universities, I urge them to apply. Especially if they plan to major in political science (without an interest in studying law later), English, social science, journalism, and other starvation majors that could leave them and their parents in a debt hole for many, many years.

“A student from the lowliest state college, who has done this will benefit more from their college experience, and be better prepared for the world ahead than the disengaged and disinterested student from the most prestigious private college”…..and why do we automatically assume that private colleges are better than public ones? You have fallen for what is taught in Marketing 101, that paying more for something gives consumers the perception that the product is better. The rest of us paying for terrific state universities are laughing all the way to the bank.

@Kobaine
Fair point, but the public/private distinction is pretty meaningless. You say your current school is top 5 (which currently means Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, Stanford, Chicago, Caltech, or Penn) and your last school was top 50. But what about your flagship public school? There’s a big difference between UMichigan or Berkeley and, say, the University of Arizona.

@Larry
Pretty sure you’re not supposed to ask students where else they’re applying in admissions interviews…

I attended a Public Ivy for undergraduate college and met a handful of students there who had transferred in from Ive League schools that they could no longer afford (they were middle class students who could not afford the full ride but also were not being offered any aid and didn’t want to go into debt). They all told me that the education they were getting from our selective state university was comparable to that in the Ivies. They also said that the students at the state school were just as bright and talented as those at the Ivies; that the main difference was that they were not from nearly as wealthy backgrounds. The most surprising thing they shared with me was that most of the Ivies (and this wes about 15 years ago) were much less difficult than our school in terms of grading. There was apparently a great deal of grade inflation at a number of the Ivies. I think the greatest test, though, regarding whether or not a private school is worth the much higher price tag is in the workplace. I work for a company that requires passing a professional exam, as well as having additional skills in writing, technical competencies, presentation experience, etc. The result is that we have a wide variety of successful employees from all types of colleges — brand name, elite, large state, small private, Ivy League, Public Ivy, Community College, etc. They are all doing exceptional work and are bright, creative employees. It mattered not where they went to college — just what they learned while there and the ability to apply it in the real world and to work well with others. There are people who paid twice as much for their degrees and some of whom are in deep debt working next to those who finished at state schools without debt. Often people who graduate from expensive colleges feel the need to justify having spent that much so will continue to perpetuate the myth that attending such colleges is necessary for success and even happiness. The truth is that there are successful, happy people from all college backgrounds, and to give preference to people just because of what type of school they went to rather than what they can do is ridiculous and a form of discrimmination.