Mosul resists Grammar Schools

Fighting intensified around the occupied city, as Iraqi and Kurdish fighters attempted to bring selective education to this Islamic State (IS) stronghold. Although some IS leaders have fled, there remains 5,000 jihadists committed to a caliphate of comprehensives; where everyone is equal in the eyes Allah rather than an 11+ entrance exam.

Since 2014 Mosul has been in the hands of IS, who have fervently abstained from academization and the abstract concept of Western Civilization. Up to 1.5 million civilians are thought to still be inside the city and shockingly almost none of them are Grammar School educated. Even now militants have already threatened to use suicide bombs, chemical weapons and burn effigies of Justine Greening.

If liberated, the UN has warned that 200,000 Mosul citizens could be displaced; without any chance of getting their children into their first choice secondary school. Said one Kurdish General: ‘Initially we thought the people were crying out for democracy, but on reflection they’d probably be just as happy with a school system based on Latin vocab’.

Despite less than half of England’s grammar schools giving poor pupils priority places, Theresa May insisted that it is the only way to solve Iraq’s problems. By throwing off the repressive yoke of an entitlement curriculum, a spokesman claimed: ‘IS has no place in our education system, although I do admire their strict adherence to a uniform code’.

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