hey kids! the show calendar is updated-ish for the next few weeks. Of particular note is Reverend Horton Heat playing the Top Hat on Sept. 4–and yeah, Rev. Horton is here pretty frequently, but I’m excited that Piñata Protest is back to open for ’em. this is a pretty cool San Antonio band that does “Punk rock like abuela used to make,” and I wrote a bit about ’em when they opened for that Guttermouth/Agent Orange show.

there’s also an all-ages metal show this Saturday, Aug. 30, at the Dream Theater–a little theater out on South Higgins past the Dairy Queen, which, I believe, is affiliated with a local Christian group. Shramana, Arctodus and metallic newcomers Earthbound are playing. I saw Earthbound at their first show at the ZACC, and they had some promising talents. Their dads helped them load out gear, which was amusing, but then they and all their high school buddies split before the touring band played, which is bad form. whippersnappers these days. we must educate them! or not. whatevs.

oh, and shit! Supersuckers with Total Combined Weight and Bird’s Mile Home at Stage 112 on Wednesday, the 27th. insert joke about old-dude-rock here.

hello lovelies, dropping a line to note that Minneapolis’ Nato Coles and the Blue Diamond Band are playing the Palace on Thursday! they are fantastic dudes who play rock and/or roll. mostly of the rock nature. (trying to avoid Springsteen references, but it’s kinda hard not to.) the last time they played town, on a Tuesday of all nights, it was a great show with a good turnout, so by all means, get thee to the Palace Thursday. plus there’s Bird’s Mile Home and Jacob Osborne and perhaps more? and have I mentioned it is free? so you can buy some band merch, and then buy me a drink? what a world.

pretty much the best summation of Total Fest. photo by Stephanie Oster

Another Total Fest has come and gone, kids. You know that line in How the Grinch Stole Christmas where they say that even without baubles or presents, Christmas still came? That is how it feels when Total Fest finally happens after months of planning. I am a worthless pile of trash today. You can find some cool coverage of the festival elsewhere on teh interwebs, like Stephanie Oster’s photos on Flickr and Weird Missoula’s recap. (I, too, want fried chicken now.)

Here is a uncurated and totes random list of my favorite things about this weekend; in the interest of readability, I have excluded exclamation points, but just imagine several exclamation points here.

1. When I help check in bands, that moment when we hand them each their three drink tokens, their eyes light up like kids in a candy store. I never get tired of seeing it. Beautiful.

2. Seattle’s fantastic garage outfit Wimps, followed up by Minneapolis’ Kitten Forever, made for a fantastic couple hours of my life. Girl punx dancing times! I was particularly impressed by how the Kitten Forever ladies pretty seamlessly swap instruments while playing.

3. The Free Cycles show on Friday afternoon with Megagiant, Al Scorch and Shitty Weekend was a great show all of itself. A nonprofit bike shop makes for a very fitting venue for Al Scorch and his Woody Guthrie vibe. Plus, the smell of bike grease just feels like home to me.

4. And hours later, seeing the Shitty Weekend dudes get totally schwastey and play a fast ‘n furious set at a basement after-party was also excellent. They kept apologizing for playing badly, which was awfully thoughtful of them, considering how very discerning the crowd was at approximately 3 AM.

5. Lord Dying. Insert air-guitar and several “YEA-AAAH”s here. Technical, but not so technical that they sacrifice melody. And apparently that was their new drummer’s third show with them. And as much as Lord Dying ripped, that show was enhanced by headbanging next to the ZACC’s executive director Kia, who is a national treasure.

6. The Ex Nuns dudes saying that their ethos is “to be as loud as possible.” they achieve this goal, for sure. And they didn’t even make fun of my parking abilities as I drove them around town the next day in my shitty Buick. Thanks for humoring me, guys.

7. Oh, speaking of the ZACC, the art installation stages were just wild. Killer idea on the part of Total Fest art director Michael Workman, and excellent execution by him and Adelaide Every and Jack Metcalf. (And probably other helper people I am unaware of.)

8. It makes me so proud that this festival brings such cool and weird and artsy things from around the country to our little town. Where would we be without Total Fest? I get all teary-eyed just thinking about it.

there is probably other things I could say but I am going to go sleep for the rest of my life. let’s do this again! just not right now. oof.

missoulapunknews at gmail dot com

p.s. Chastity Belt ruled, and those ladies got up in every mosh pit the rest of the night. they are my heroes.

When Total Fest rears its head, that means a slew of rock is destined to tear through Missoula. And ‘cuz everybody loves a good listicle, here’s the 10 bands I don’t want to miss this year.

1. Treasure Fleet. The dudes in this band come from outfits like Lawrence Arms, The Arrivals and Smoking Popes, but it doesn’t particularly sound like any of those bands. It’s going for more of a psych-garage vibe, which is cool with me. And it’s pretty much the closest I’m getting to seeing Lawrence Arms again this millennium.

2. Al Scorch. I’m most familiar with this Chicago country/Americana singer because Bird’s Mile Home covered one of his songs, and the dudes in Bird’s Mile know them some good songwriting, much like that one Supreme Court judge who definitely knew him some porn.

3. Underground Railroad to Candyland. URTC has played Total Fest a zillion times and even been at Fest in Gainesville both years I’ve been there, and still! I always fucking manage to miss them! But this year, goddammit, I am going to see them.

4. Lord Dying: Everybody knows I drool over this ultra heavy Portland outfit (see: this entire blog, basically) so I am hell of stoked to see them again, since their set at the ZACC back in March was killer. Yea verily, I shall twinkle my fingers and headbang like there is no tomorrow.

5. Lenguas Largas: This psychy Arizona outfit sings about Pepsi, which brings the number of excellent punk songs about Pepsi up to two. Plus, they describe themselves as “guys who range from werewolf looking motherfuckers to dudes with cute ass shoes,” which is the best fucking band description I have read all year.

6. Kitten Forever: These Minneapolis broads are bringing back riot grrrl, god bless ’em, and they sing without their pants on! More punk less pants!

7. Recessions: The keywords to know for this Portland band are “Ass End Offend” and “Squalora,” so sign me up.

8. Wimps: This a supremely kicky three-piece garage rock group excellent for bobbing around like a trout to. Plus, a buddy of mine who lives in Seattle happens to be roommates with the Wimps singer, Rachel. Rachel is also very nice and has a cute cat. Rachel, one time while visiting I used some fancy shampoo that was probably yours. Sorry.

9. Shitty Weekend: This Portland band—which shares members with the totes awesome Taxpayers—has a song that starts “Eat rocks, Mom and Dad!” A-plus.

10. Obnox: I think Erika said it best in her Indy review: “Even as a lover of three-chord punk, I agree that punk feels safer than ever. Listening to songs like “How to Rob (The Punk Years),” where Obnox pairs biting hip-hop with angular guitar riffs, is like hearing punk rock in a parallel universe.”

SPECIAL SUPER BONUS! YEAH YOU DON’T SEE THAT SHIT ON BUZZFEED NOW DO YOU

No. 11: Wolf Eyes. I’ve been told this “kings of U.S. noise” band is weird and awesome to see live. This description from the Weirdest Band in the World blog says: “They’re also fucking terrifying. Not in an obvious Saw VI kind of way. More in a “you might actually go insane listening to this” kind of way.” Whoa dude. In the spirit of keeping Missoula weird, this sounds like one Total Fest band that’s a must-see.

**Full disclosure: I’m a member of the Total Fest committee, and so I have a vested interest in people attending this festival, because pass sales go toward buying every committee member a gold-plated Hummer.

P.S., hey, remember how totally sweet this Red Fang show was last year? Fingers crossed for more excellent mosh-age this year, but hopefully, without sweating out every ounce of liquid in my body. and lol, I am in this video a bunch because YOU CANNOT CONTAIN ME.