Flying

This is what The Hitchhikers
Guide to the Galaxy has to say on the subject of flying: There is an art,
or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself
at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day and try it. All it requires is simply
the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness
not to mind that it's going to hurt.

That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fall
to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is
that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. Clearly, it is the second part,
the missing, which presents the difficulties.

One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good
deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have
you attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there,
so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about
how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.

It is notoriously difficult to prize your attention away from these three things
during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure,
and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.
If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted
at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia,
according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your
vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling
along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely
and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly
foolish manner. This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.

Bob and float, bob and float. Ignore all considerations of your own weight
and simply let yourself waft higher. Do not listen to what anybody says to you
at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most
likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly
be flying!"

It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.

Waft higher and higher. Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift
above the treetops breathing regularly.