“I tried this with 3 pieces of bacon and the sub-atomic structure of the bacon changed and turned into a exact replica of a signed copy of Agatha Christie’s miss Marple: the mirror cracked form side to side. I then tried using frozen bacon and that just caught on fire.”

Well, I was hosting a late-night get together and there were a large number of people coming (over 100 and I didn’t have time to microwave each batch. So I used a whole hog, and a regular towel. It wouldn’t fit in the microwave so I just used my dryer (which is on the second floor at the top of our stairs. I set it to high and put it on for 4 hours and push start. The party starts a couple hours later, and I go into the house to check on the pig, and my dryer is shaking violently. I run up stairs and open it, and this massive spinning, flaming hog barrels down the stairs and kills 2 people. However, it was cooked perfectly, would try again!
Pros: Very tasty!
Cons: im going to jail