May 24th, 2011, 11:06 pm

May 25th, 2011, 12:51 am

I think he's got a fair point. It's scary as hell to tell your friends, "Hey, I know you've known me for X years as a boy/girl, but I'm transgender, and I'm going to be a girl/boy," but sometimes you've got to bite the bullet and do it. Rain's got an absolutely valid point; it's a huge risk to take, and especially if that friend is the only one you've got. But, at the same time, Gavin found out on his own, eventually, and while he didn't take it with a largest amount of grace, he didn't really abandon her; he's angrier at the fact that she /didn't/ tell him than at the fact that she's transitioning.

tldr; they've both got really valid points, but I'm of the opinion that she should have told him.

May 25th, 2011, 2:51 pm

I had the same experience when I told someone else first that I liked girls and told my best friend second. She was pissed, but I just wanted to test the waters first, I didn't want to lose her. Gavin needs to calm down some and Rain needs to apologize for hiding things from her friend, then they can both move on yeah?

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May 25th, 2011, 8:44 pm

Hmmm. Does Gavin have a point. I guess if I were in his shoes, I might feel the same way he does, but being an objective observer I think he's laying a bit too much blame on Rain. True, they might be friends, old friends and good friends, but that is a large burden that Rain must carry, and I don't blme her for not wanting to share, of being afraid.

I guess I can see where Gavin is comming from, but he still needs to be a bit more understanding.

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May 26th, 2011, 12:32 am

Old friends?

As I recall the story, Gavin and his family moved away from where Ryan was living before Rain appeared. It seems like there was a span of several years between Gavin leaving and Rain appearing. Would Ryan have felt comfortable enough to tell his only friend something that could have easily driven that friend away when Ryan was not yet ready to come out? I don't think so.

If Rain had come out while Gavin was still around, and Rain never told Gavin who she was, then that would be different, in my opinion. But gender identity is one of the most difficult subjects to broach with someone who is not aware of the issue, especially with a young teenager who is dealing with stereotypes, uncertainty, and peer pressure to be 'macho'.

I feel for Gavin's pain at being excluded, but I understand Ryan's reticence to express his darkest, deepest secret.

January 30th, 2015, 5:04 pm

@LDN: I agree with you about her not needing to apologize. I've had a classmate who is trans, for which I am immensely grateful. Thanks to her, I've gained some understanding about the realities of being trans - how horribly trans people are frequently treated. If I were Rain, I'd be fucking *terrified* about telling anyone.