Indeed Lord Spot, it does make ones eyes water...I must teach the Scullery Maid that sport as well, she'll simply love it as the shuttlecock goes up and down, up and down ad infinitum. It's only a matter of deciding whether we play outdoors or indoors or even al fresco.

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

What a useful and versatile Scullery Maid you seem to have, Sir Bart! You really must tell us how you found her - good help is lamentably hard to come by these days. Although I have recently acquired a wonderful new hedge-trimmer by the name of Ramone. Such a pleasure to have around the place, and one does so enjoy meeting exotic new people - they have such novel ways of doing things!

"There's a hell of a good universe next door, let's go!" e e cummings

"And the new day was a great big fish." Terry Pratchett

"WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?" Terry Pratchett (yes again, I'm afraid. He's my absolute favourite author)

Ramone...one has to ponder Lady La...and I dare say tis the influence of such foul and debauched literature as "Pride and Prejudice" and "Fifty Shades of Agnes Grey"...is he Ramone by name and Ramone by nature?

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

I'm not sure I know what this Ramone fellow looks like. Can you pick him out of this line-up, Lady La?

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

Must I repeat myself? I wasn't lurking, I was only behind that hedge to adjust my clothing.

The laundry maid just happened by at the wrong moment and misinterpreted things...

Then again, she does wash my sheets...

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

Marvellous. Whilst I was visiting the Nurse I happened to mention my latest book on the Middle East which seems to have got me in a spot of bother with the Extremists...the nurse asked if I had caused a Jihad...I said "Fatwa" and she hit me with a warming pan!

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.