Symptoms can be treated, the disease can be slowed a little but death is certain

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shadoos:
I cant stop thinking that I will die and who will love my baby as much as I do? What will happen to her when I am gone? I am newly diagnosed since April. I suffer from depression and anxiety normally. I have been trying so hard to fight it from coming back cause of the results. But I don't think I can do it. My levels are also dropping fast. And my viral load is over 500,000. Yippie what ever that means. I am not on meds either. And to top it all off now I have to worry about my babys daddy. He has it thats how I got it. And he is really sick and how should I say "away" for now. I can't take this. I am gonna break down!!

BT65:
Shadoos, you're very new to this. Just give yourself a break and take some time adjusting. I suggest seeking the help of a mental health professional to help walk you through all feelings you're trying to deal with. What is your CD4 and CD4%? Has your doctor suggested that you go on meds?

Please do your best to take care of your emotional issues. They can do you in just as fast as physical illness can. Take care. Luv,Betty

weasel:
HEY SHADOO !, GO TO THE LOCAL HEALTH DEPARTMENT .TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON !

I GOT HUGE SUPPORT IN LAS VEGAS !

THEY DID EVERYTHING IN THIER POWER TO HELP , AND I MUST SAY IT MEANS A LOT TO ME TO KNOW

HOW MUCH THEY CARED !

THEY WILL HELP WITH MEDS , HELP WITH MENTAL SUPPORT !

THEY WILL HOOK YOU UP TO SUPORT GROUPS , OR ONE ON ONE ,IF YOU PERFER TO NOT SUPPORT OTHERS

AS YOU HELP YOURSELF !

" LIFE " IS DEFFERENT NOW !

BUT TRY TO GET A GRIP . IT WILL BE OK ! YOU WILL RAISE YOUR CHILDREN , YOU WILL FIND LOVE .

LIFE GOES ON !

THINGS COULD BE SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH WORSE !

WHEN I CAME DOWN WITH HIV THERE WAS NOT MUCH HOPE , SO I IGNORDED IT .

AND WHEN IT TURNED TO AIDS , MEDICINE HAD CHANGED , CHANGED A LOT !

I LOST A BROTHER AT 51 FROM A BRAIN TUMOR !

MY GRAND MOTHER CROAKED AT 41 ,

MY UNCLE DIED AT 57 , AND THEY HAD NO CHOICE TO LIVE OR DIE !

MY ANT MARTHA DIED AT 51 SO DID HER HUSBAND !

AND THESE PEOPLE DID NOT HAVE AIDS !

WE CAN TAKE MEDICINE , AND LIVE FOR YEARS !

WE HAVE GOOD DAYS

WE HAVE REALLY CRAPPY DAYS

BUT WE HAVE DAYS , AND MOST OF US WILL GET OLD ................................

I FIGHT DEPRESSION AND DRINK , BIG TIME .

I AM NOW CLEAN FOR 6 Days !

I did not throw away my boose !

but for now i need to find out where my mind really is .

do i think about dieing ? sometimes , but the little ones do not want to here about it .