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You know, I can appreciate the interest in fostering good relations with our foreign partners and allies, but do we have to completely cater to their dietary requirements too? I mean, it was great to hold a state dinner for India's prime minister, but did everything have to be vegetarian?

Not that I'm suggesting that the man be forced to eat a cheeseburger, we had salad after all, but give the American President a little dead flesh, right off the grill, you know what I mean?

Michelle was a trooper, choking down the vegetables, sucking up the yogurt, doing whatever it took to make a good impression, but an hour into the formal meal and I had to excuse myself and head back to the white house kitchen. Thank God, the chef was waiting for me with an Italian sausage and extra red sauce.