All hail Thomas Pearson

Tonight, my friends, was not a high point in the career of the Queso Crusader. After a short trip to the grocery store in which I acquired not a single Mexican food product, I arrived home to my Cantina of Solitude to find that I had forgotten my key and locked myself out. A rather embarassing situation for the world’s foremost Tex-Mex superhero, I think you’ll agree.

My neighbors and I tried many ways to break into the Cantina, but the defenses were secure. Two paper clips, a bottle opener, a coat hanger, an electrical cord, and three expired credit cards lost their lives in the struggle. We had given up and called the locksmith when Tom Pearson decided to give it one more try. I promised to honor him on the weblog if he succeeded, and I think that that is probably what inspired his incredible feat. I braced against the door with my cheese-fortified powers while he wedged a screwdriver into the frame. Then behold! The door did open!

So keeping up my end of the bargain, I now honor Tom with the prestigious Bronze Tortilla of Valour. Thank you, Mr. Pearson, for your efforts here tonight.

Comments

I seem to remember that the defense perimeter of the Cantina was not as strong as Herr Queso Crusader who have us to believe… for I not only broke through, but also penetrated deeply into the heart of the Cantina… to devour its many wonders, enjoy the splendour of its glory, and bask in the light of its many virgin treasures! Xanadu, indeed friends. To be continued….

Jacob Grier is a freelance writer, bartender, cocktail consultant, and magician in Portland, Oregon. He writes, eats, and drinks a lot. His articles have appeared in the print or online editions of The Washington Post, The Atlantic, The Daily Beast, The Los Angeles Times, Reason, The Oregonian, and other publications. His book on beer cocktails, Cocktails on Tap, is forthcoming from Stewart, Tabori, and Chang in 2015. [Photo by David L. Reamer.]