Kid Sheleen: Yeah, it’s all over in Dodge. Tombstone, too; Cheyenne, Deadwood, all gone, all dead and gone. Why, the last time I come through Tombstone, the big excitement there was about the new rollerskate rink that they had laid out over the OK Corral. I’ll tell you something else, I used to work for the Buffalo Bill Wild West Show and a Congress of Rough Riders. And I rescued many a stagecoach passengers from road agents and drunkard injuns. . .in the nick of time! Twice a day, three times on Saturday!

This is a film that I think has really fallen between the cracks of history, despite its Best Picture nomination. I first saw it when I was going through a Jason Robards phase (which, incidentally, is actually just called life). I think part of the problem, now anyways, is that it is not on DVD, meaning the only way to see it is if you can catch it on TCM or find it somewhere on the internet. If you can, though, I think you will fallen just as much in love with it as I did. Despite a Golden Globe nomination, Jason Robards was NOT nominated for Best Actor for his performance. Also, Fred Coe, though nominated as producer, was NOT nominated for Best Director. In fact, two of the films up for Best Picture, this and Ship of Fools, were not nominated for Best Director. Instead, the two nominations went to Hiroshi Teshigahara for Woman in the Dunes and William Wyler for The Collector (this was his last of a whopping TWELVE Best Director nominations, the most of any director. Billy Wilder is the only director to even come close, with eight nominations. He also received Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award that year as well.) A Thousand Clowns was nominated for four Academy Awards, winning one: Best Score – Treatment or Adaptation (this is a category that is really confusing and I suggest you read the Wikipedia page to learn alllll about how many different score categories there have been over the years), Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Supporting Actor Martin Balsam (won) and Best Picture. The other films nominated for Best Picture that year were Darling, Doctor Zhivago, Ship of Fools and winner The Sound of Music.

Lara: Wouldn’t it have been lovely if we’d met before?Zhivago: Before we did? Yes.Lara: We’d have got married, had a house and children. If we’d had children, Yuri, would you like a boy or girl?Zhivago: I think we may go mad if we think about all that.Lara: I shall always think about it.

Billie: Mr. Host, I’m of legal age for whiskey, votin’ and lovin’. Now, the next election is two years away, and my love life ain’t getting much better, so how about some of that one-hundred-percent?The Old Man: I’m glad for the company; good whiskey’s meant to be shared.

Freddie Clegg: That’s a good painting, isn’t it?Miranda Grey: Yes. Yes, it’s a Picasso.Freddie Clegg: People don’t look like that.Miranda Grey: Well, of course they don’t. He’s not trying to draw a face as it is. He’s, he’s trying to express a face as he sees it and feels it.Freddie Clegg: Because he see it that way, that makes it good?Miranda Grey: But it’s not a photograph.Freddie Clegg: What’s wrong with photographs?Miranda Grey: There’s nothing wrong with photographs.Freddie Clegg: Photographs don’t lie!Miranda Grey: Neither does this! It’s . . .it’s a face from all different angles. It’s the character behind the face.Freddie Clegg: It’s just a joke. That’s all it is. It’s just a bad joke.Miranda Grey: Just because you can’t grasp it right away. . .Freddie Clegg: Well, how do I grasp it?! [beat] I’ll tell you something about this. . .it doesn’t mean anything. Not just to me, but to anybody else. You just say it does because some professor somewhere told you it did. It makes you so superior. You and all your friends. I don’t think one in a million decent, ordinary people would say this was any good. It’s rubbish, rubbish! That’s all it is.

Wilson: Ah! The telephone, that miracle of modern communication. I often wonder why it is that we communicate so much less with all these marvels at our disposal than we did in a more primitive day, without the wireless and the television.