No surprise that you have really low self esteem, as do so many of us. It was something that was robbed of us through abuse when we were small and tender. I've had it to the extent it's called "depersonalization disorder". Maybe you do to. Maybe that's what you're saying.

So, given that, it's not terribly surprising that you are attracted to a song that calls out as a siren in the night. It makes you feel healthy and wanted. The music dwells on certain notes. If I were better at music I could tell you the name of the notes and why they are subconsciously attractive to you.

If the song doesn't induce harmful behavior on your part, then you could just let play itself out. That is, listen to it until it seems repulsive. And/or you could find some more tunes and try to substitute them out for each other.

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