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Do You Prefer Dating White Men Who Have ONLY Ever Dated Black Women?

April 3, 2017 | Christelyn Karazin |

We’re working on a new series, The Pros and Cons: Dating White Men, for later release. In the meantime, we’ll be releasing little snippets of interviews to throw up for discussion. Meet Johnny, a 30-something white guy who lives in Cleveland, Ohio who exclusively dates black women, and always has. He’s the co-founder of HWIC Films, an urban film production company. He’s unapologetic about his preferences.

If you’re only looking for white men who have experience with black women, that’s still a small pool of white men, especially in certain areas of the country. We want to keep our options open. At the end of the day, at the beginning it is just a date. Go for the free food and good conversation and if it matures into something, than that’s great. If not, he at least got to experience a decent, feminine black women. They need exposure as much as we do.

chest_nut61

Well said, both about keeping options open *and* a first date is just a beginning and it doesn’t have to turn into anything. If it does, fine, if not, fine.
For my part, if I made a rule for myself that I would only date BW who exclusively dated WM, I don’t think I’d have ever gone on a date with a single BW. Also, if I refused to date a BW who never dated a WM before, I’d probably have had at least 50% less first dates. I know WM and BW have totally different experiences and I’m not suggesting everything is apples vs. apples, but I think the basic message is the same…keep options open.

DonRice

In my younger days I dated two black women who had never dated a white guy before. I married one of them. The other was a control freak, so that didn’t last long.

Neb16

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, if there were two white guys, one never dated a black girl and the other dated exclusively black or mostly, I would choose the latter of the two. However, the white guys I come across that exclusively date black women are for the lack of a better world “urban”. I have the impression that they expect to be with a stereotypical black girl with a voluptuous body. I’m a very petite woman (short and thin), and people tell me I look like a teenager when I’m not, so I don’t fit their type.

I wish I could press a button on a machine that gives me the kind of man that I want, but because we don’t live in a Star Trek future, I have to be realistic and open-minded.

Bierbasstard

Looking forward to the new series

Wendy

My experience as well, aren’t they called wiggas?

Neb16

Yeah. Hehe. I wasn’t trying to use that word because it’s so close to the N-word to me. But yeah. Those kind of guys can be a male version of Rachel Dolezal. It’s best if we stay away from them. There was a guy like that who tried to talk to me online. I told him that if “I wanted someone who was a walking stereotype of a black person, I would have dated a black guy”. He left me alone.

DER KOMMANDANT

It depends. I don’t mind dating a white guy that more or less socializes with black people exclusively, therefore exclusively dating black women. It just comes down to compatibility and personality. However most of the non-black/hispanic men that I attract tend to lack any sort of racial preference, as do I. That being said, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had white guys say to my face, “I’m not usually into black chicks, but…” Which is usually responded to with, “Well, I’m usually a little nicer to losers, BUT…” In the end, it all comes down to a dude NOT being a complete and total retard when it comes to interacting with people from a different racial group.

KawaiiCutie

I date primarily white men who have never been with black women. I’m the first black girl that my current bf of four years has ever dated and I prefer it that way. That way there’s no expectations and I don’t have to live up to anything

Bierbasstard

Any man that would have expectations based on interactions with other woman would, to begin with, be a problematic choice. I have always treated women as individuals until they prove otherwise.

Jay Fenton

I think we’ve all forgotten that it’s not the color, it’s the girl——or the guy, for that matter. I’ve always preferred BW, but I would never limited myself to BW who’ve only dated WM exclusively. That seems rather foolish to me.

A friend recently told me that his wife was never in the mood for sex. I started laughing and told him “it’s your job to put her in the mood. She can’t get in the mood all by herself.” By the same token, the guys and girls who date interracially should focus on knowing each other and not on having had their work done for them by looking for someone who exclusively has experience with one race.

Dating and marriage aren’t THAT easy! Besides, it’s fun to be adventuresome.

jubilee

ESPECIALLY if the black girl is from an URBAN AREA.. not all black woman are–its just HOLLYWOOD who tend to throw black in the ‘urban pot’

kaydenpat

Seems like a silly criteria.

Shirley06

There are women who say they don’t want to have to teach a white guy anything so they’d rather he have experience with black women. But, that’s narrowing one’s pool severely so I hope that’s not a criteria!

chest_nut61

Purely out of curiosity, what is it that they would have to teach a white guy?

Shirley06

They think they have to teach about hair and institutional/structural racism, in a nutshell. It’s just excuses, really.

I shared a bit about being “black” with husband because we were planning a family and, sadly, depending on the shade the kids turned out, society will treat them differently. (So, my daughter looks white at this point and my son looked very white up until age 3. Now my traits are emerging in him a bit more. I had my husband read the book “why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria) for him to learn about racial identity and development. He learned a ton and it’s been helpful. BTW, we tell our kids they are biracial (even though my husband’s mom keeps referring to them as black.) 🙂

chest_nut61

After reading your response, I’m sitting here with a million thoughts and questions running through my head and trying to figure out how to best express them succinctly and accurately. 🙂 I suspected these were the kinds of issues you were referring to, but also realized there might be something I was missing and not aware of, so I wanted to make sure.
Regarding hair, I wouldn’t think this was a major conversation that would take years to get through. Anything that a white guy would need to know about a BW’s hair should probably take 5 or 10 minutes to explain. 🙂 Hardly heavy lifting.
Regarding issues of being “black”, before BB&W I would have said I knew a lot about it based on my experiences with BW over the years. But clearly there was a TON that I didn’t know and I’m realizing that now. However, I would say that that is about a difference in degree only. Any white guy who’s got any kind of clue as to what is going on in the world is going to know he’s going to have to deal with various race issues when he 1) dates and marries a BW and 2) has children with her. And yes, most WP (and probably most people in general) are going to say his children are black, despite the fact that, like our former President, they are as much white as they are black.
Yes, he may not know all the specifics, but he should know that race issues are going to be pretty high on the list.
So anyway, I would tend to agree with you that it’s just excuses. 🙂

PaoloP

Teaching can go the other way too. My wife grew up thinking parmesan cheese comes as a powder contained in a green can, while my parents won’t even allow that stuff inside their house. Once she tasted real fresh grated parmesan, she realized why.

DWB

YUP

oldfatmotherfucker

If it just so happens that he has only dated black women (maybe because he happens to live in a predominantly black area or he happens to be friends with a lot of black people), then I don’t care.

If he seeks out to only date black women and says that he refuses to date anything else, that’s kind of weird to me. The same way that it would be weird to me if a black guy said he only dates white women and every other race is not worth considering. I’m perfectly fine with someone having a preference. But if I ask you the question “Suppose you meet a perfect women who is everything you want but the only problem is that she is not black, will you still date her” and your answer is ‘no,’ that is weird to me. Preference is fine, but excluding people based on nothing but skin color is a problem to me.

Nina Fields-pourvaranttee

This is a very interesting subject to me because I am doing research on it, writing a paper, developing a discussion group in my counseling and therapy work and working on an actually documentary about this very issue. I myself have only dated one black man in my entire 55 years even though some of my closest friend’s and confidant’s are black men (it has not always been comfortable I have to admit). I am a widow and I have been in two serious relationships . . . . all have been with white men. . . they have been wonderful and yes, I have only dated white men (w/ the one exception). It was not by a specific or exclusive choice . . . I did not set out to fall in love with my husband because he was white and date the person I was dating in high school and college because he was white. And yes, most of the time they chose me but it was for the most part mutual. I counsel a lot of people who have interracial relationship issues. One of the biggest problems that they end up discovering; and I myself learned this also, was that from dating, to a relationship, to love- race played very litte part or an issue until . . . .others pointed out the subject. Now it was not that people don’t realize that they are of a different race; they are more focused on the qualities that the person(s) has and . . . . . . .this is what people miss in (a) relationships. The social issues and concerns of race are going to come up just like anything else in a relationship; but it is how the individuals choose to deal with them that will affect the overall health, wellbeing and joy of the relationship . . . .my theory is love who you love . . .people are brought together because of various reasons and issues. That does not mean that we don’t have to understand the dynamics but some people just can’t get past race. So, we have to deal with it and discuss it but don’t let it determine who you date or love!

chest_nut61

Excellent post! Please keep us posted about the documentary. I would love to see it once it’s completed.

Nina Fields-pourvaranttee

I will. And thank you!

Jay Fenton

” . .my theory is love who you love . .” And isn’t it wonderful that we finally can.

Nina Fields-pourvaranttee

. . . . Yes, I agree, love who you love; no matter who it is!

ladyofmagic1974

Personally, I really don’t mind if a non BM have a preference for BW, as long he isn’t ghetto/blackstain with his appearance & behavior! BTW all the white & Latino guys that I dated except for one I was the first BW they dated

jubilee

HWIC i think means–head wigger in charge
um—thats the point–i dont even care for BM who act like that

Neb16

Btw, Johnny reminds me of a hipster version of the RnB singer Jon B which is not a bad thing. Just by the way he looks and his impressions.

Nia_

I think he looks more like MC Serch from 3rd Bass.

Neb16

Just looked up MC Serch. His wife is also black. He has a teddy bear look. I noticed that musicians/ white guys that are in the music industry are open to dating black women. I think one of my English professors in college is married to a black woman. He was a jazz and rock musician before he went to college. He had stacks of books on AfroAmerican literature.

DER KOMMANDANT

Lol, he looks like the love child between MC Serch and Bubba Sparxxx, actually!

I’m not really attracted to WM that exclusively date BW because they think that they need to act and talk in a certain way. I find that they feel like they have to relate to me by acting out every stereo type about BM. I think that WM that has never dated a BW before have a natural love for us and they don’t have a identity issue they know that there white and aren’t afraid of showing it.

chest_nut61

Yeah, I’d be worried about a guy who was trying to relate by acting out stereotypes. I know this is a generalization, but if a WM is interested in BW, or a BW is interested in WM, it’s likely because of who they are…and maybe some of who they are not as well.. Why would I want to go out with a BW who was trying to “act white”? I’d think there was something wrong with her! 🙂 Earlier in this thread, Neb16 said “if I wanted someone who was a walking stereotype of a black person, I would have dated a black guy”. I couldn’t agree more with that sentiment.

lisa586

I wouldn’t stereotype white men who have dated predominantly black women. I know a few, and they are not stereotypical “wiggers” in any sense they have a strong sense of who they are and strong personalities, they just like a certain “look” or have had overwhelmingly good experiences with black women, or found black women to be receptive, and so pursue what works for them.

Jay Fenton

“They just like a certain look.” You’ve hit the nail on the head! That is IT exactly.

DWB

Exactly — I think Lisa hits the nail on the head!

lisa586

I don’t know any white men who have only ever dated black women. I know white men who developed a preference for black women overtime, they tend to be very self-aware (one has told me that the media “brainwashed” them into having another preference when they were young). I know white men who are open to everything but seem to gravitate most towards black women. Exclusive preference for black women? Unfortunately, that’s a bit hard to find ime. However, I think maybe I’d be open to it if all other things were compatible.

Dezzi

I don’t prefer white guys who have only dated black women. If I do happen to be with a wm who has and it works out then great. I’ve dated a guy who has never dated a bw before me, but he has been attracted to bw. I’d just like to date someone who doesn’t have a preference.

Jay Fenton

Then why do so many WW color their hair blonde? Because they think guys like blonde hair.

Dezzi

Hi Jay. For the record, I have nothing against white guys, or any guy really, who only date bw. I’ve already expressed that I wouldn’t turn down a wm who exclusively dates bw if it works out between us. That said, I’m trying to figure out what you’re saying here.

Jay Fenton

There are a lot of men who seem to date only blondes. That’s a preference. What I meant was that WW know that men tend to like blondes, so they become a blonde to appeal to that preference.

When you said you’d like to date someone who doesn’t have a preference, I mentioned WW who color thier hair blonde specifically to appeal to men. I’m told that BM prefer blonde women too. It was only a comment. I meant no disrespect to anyone

Dezzi

Ah ok, that makes sense. Hmmm… I wouldn’t want to change my appearance just to appeal to a man’s preference. Then again we’re actually talking about “racial” preference here, which goes deeper than physical features. However, I see where you’re coming from.

No worries. I always appreciate your perspective! 😉

Jay Fenton

Yes, we were talking about racial preferences. But if a person has a physical preference they may also have a racial preference. I know men who have a preference for Asian women; others like the coloring of Italian women. Although I’ve dated both black and white women, I feel BW give more support and encouragement.

White women can verge on the edge of flighty and flakey. I don’t really need an emotional rollercoaster ride with a lakey young women———no matter the color. I found the perfect girl when I was in college. That it was the early 70’s when IR marriages were “a crime against God and nature” was just my bad luck.

Cloe H.

I wouldn’t date a WM who claimed to ONLY date BM. I’d be curious to his reasoning. If he claimed that he only found BM attractive I’d think he was lying. Beauty comes in all races, skin tones and shapes and to declare that he’s never seen an attractive WW would be a bold face lie. Who wants to date a liar even if he thinks he’s flattering you and all of BW kind.

MySmile

Yeah that’s probably him trying to kiss your a** saying he only finds black women attractive. I’m a woman and even though many black women have a beautiful and unique type of beauty, there are beautiful women in all colors. I’m also skeptical of wm who complain about WW as a way to impress you. No.

MySmile

Most of the men I’ve dated have either dated a variety of women (that could include black women, or just other women of color) or I am the first black woman they dated (or seriously dated). A lot of WM who have a preference for black women seem to be looking for something more stereotypical than I can offer. However, that is changing to an extent. There are white men with a preference for BW who aren’t total “wiggas”. ..but I feel like the majority are.

Jay Fenton

Now, Smiley, I have to say a word in defense of us men who prefer BW. I’ve seen wiggers from time to time, but they only make themselves look foolish. The BW I dated in college tended to like me because I didn’t speak down to them like many WP do. I like the color, I like the lips———in short, I like everything about BW. But I don’t want to appeal to a BW as a BM. I figure if you wanted a BM you would be with him. I like being liked for myself.

BTW, I LIKE your smile.

simplylois

Jay…You do have a silver tongue. She is probably referring to guys around her age and many in their twenties do come across that way.

Cloe H.

The subject of black women’s hair keeps coming up as if it’s the ultimate barrier between races. I don’t get it. I really don’t think black women are particularly offended when Only white men start in about the hair. I think it’s ALL men. Tell me it looks nice and move on. Personally, I find it annoying when ANY penis carrying man is greatly interested in my hair care regimen. Or my nails. Or my shoes. Or my clothes. Or my makeup. That’s what girlfriends are for. I talk about nail polish with my girls while we sip wine. You, sir, go change my tire.

MySmile

I don’t mind men being a little curious about my hair as long as they aren’t overly concerned. They just really enjoy playing in it, running their fingers through it (well, attempting lol), and masssaging my scalp (in private) 😀 and I love that.

Jay Fenton

I’m one of those guys who likes hair——no matter the ethnicity of the girl. Some women think that men who like hair are weirdos. But I’ve noticed that BW are much happier being told their hair is beautiful. BW seem to have so many more options in hair styles then other women.

Neb16

I don’t understand why people bring up hair when it comes to interracial relationships, either. Of all the men I’ve ever came across, whether it’s dating, friendships or even acquaintances, it was always black men who had something to say about how black women should wear their hair. When I went natural, it wasn’t white or non-black men who disparaged my hair. It was black men and women. The guys of other races either didn’t care or they complimented my hair.

If I were to date a black guy, I would have to be more concern about what he thinks than if I were to date a white or non-black guy. Luckily, I cut black men out of my dating pool even before I started dating, so I won’t have to deal with petty attitudes about how black women should look or act.

Nia_

I think the hair thing comes from experiences with white co-workers in non diverse workplaces asking clueless, annoying questions about black women’s hair out of curiosity. The people asking though are usually white women.

Black men care more about hair than any other race of men. I dated several black men in the past who refused to date black women who wear weave. We’re talking immediately writing a woman off if she shows up on the date with a weave. Add that to a number of black men who think natural hair is ugly and it needs to be relaxed. I mentioned several posts back about how a former schoolmate I hadn’t seen in a while asked me over the phone how I wear my hair and to send him a pic of it and call him back. I never called back. Something similar happened about a month or so ago. I was wearing a hat (cause it’s winter and cold out of course) and had my hair pulled up under it. Exchanged numbers on the train with a black guy. Before he got off on his stop, he tilted my hat up and said I could text him a picture of my hair. I’m standing right in front of you and you want me to text you a pic of my hair. Umm, no.

I guarantee no other race of men is that superficial about hair. They’re dating the person, not the hair.

Neb16

This. Also it makes me really angry that people want to downplay this experience with black men. My mom’s friend was really defensive when I told her that I don’t date black men after she noticed that the men I like are not black. I told her that black women cannot make them happy and not everyone wants to date her son. She was the same woman who picked on me when my hair was shorter and natural. She called me things like “nappy-headed” and “kunta kinte hair”. Now that my hair is almost knee-length when pressed, people want to tell me how I should wear it and what products to use. I just ignore them.

Also, the same black men who tell black women how to wear their hair are the main ones who date Becky, Heather, Maria and Mei Ling. If black women are smart, we would start taking a page out of Asian women’s book and start leaving those bastards in droves. Asian women left their men for way less.

DWB

“Or my shoes.”

Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

:-p

Alabama Liberal

I’ve been on dates with white women (and Latina women) that went nowhere, but you could basically say that I’ve only dated black women and had black girlfriends, and now a wife. The fact that the staggering majority of the comments towards white men who only date black women are negative only shows the extent of the problem. Black women truly believe that a white guy who dates only them has weird motives or there’s something wrong with him. If you told a blonde woman that you only date blonde women, they’d be like “I know” or “thanks.” The reasons they’re considered attractive are self-evident and obvious. But when you aren’t black and you find black women most attractive, it’s suspicious and followed by “Why?! What’s wrong with you? Do you have a fetish?” Implying that thinking black women are attractive is so abnormal, you must be a 5-alarm weirdo with all sorts of strange sexual practices to be into them. It’s actually a white supremacist ideology that only black men would find black women attractive, and a lot of people have unknowingly absorbed that.

For my part, I personally quit dating black women who had never dated a white guy the last year I dated, and noticed my dating experiences improved dramatically. Not saying it can’t work out with a black woman that doesn’t prefer white guys, but my personal experiences said it was less likely to or I’d be swimming upstream. For their part, the black women in these comments seem to be saying they woudln’t like to be a white guy’s first black woman–I don’t blame them–but also don’t want a white guy that prefers black women. So what’s the sweet spot, 30% black ex-girlfriends? 40%? It’s setting up an equation where it’s unnecessarily hard for a white guy to get to you. And I seriously doubt there’s a black woman on the planet who would be like “Well, I met this black guy who’s nice, but he ONLY dates black women–that’s weird right?”

Neb16

You also have to understand that black women are way different from blonde white women. White women are told they are beautiful from womb to tomb (I pointed this out in the other article). We have been told that we are ugly by the men in our community, and unambiguous black women were largely ignored in the media until recently. Some black women may be suspicious when a non-black guy tells her she is beautiful, because depending on her life, it’s probably the first time she’s ever been told that she is beautiful by anyone. So she’s probably shocked. Not to mentioned that she was possibly raised not to trust white or non-black men. I think that if other men are going to date black women, they have to do it with patience, understanding and empathy.

The video below explains it better than I can. Christelyn made it over a year ago.

I’ll take a look at the post and I’ll try to find a way to make a response, whether it’s here, on Facebook or on my own blog. I want to mention that it’s not to say that I don’t understand where white men, particularly American men, are coming from. I would tell any guy who happens to be white that it doesn’t matter who you date, there will be some challenges. Although it doesn’t seem like much as changed, but things are getting better for WMBW relationships. You see more of them in the younger generations (Gen Y and Gen Z). Most of my black women friends and a few cousins are paired with white or non-black men. More black women are starting to include nonblack men/white men as dating options online, or they specifically state white/non-black men only. Anyone who I marry will most likely be nonblack. So, there is some hope.

Hi, Alabama Liberal! I just read your “12 Most Common Stereotypes About Black Women and White Men Relationships”. LOVED IT! Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m going to share it on my Coffee & Cream Talk Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Coffee-and-Cream-Talk-1808784176019543/ As the author, I’d love for you to stop by the page and comment about writing your piece! I think it’s eye-opening for so many black women who truly do believe in those stereotypes. Even though you originally wrote this in 2011, the stereotypes are still very much shared by many.

Alabama Liberal

Thank you! And oh I wrote it even earlier than that, it’s just been reposted more recently…I can’t remember exactly what year it was, but I don’t even think Obama was President yet. Anyway…

Although I wouldn’t put things in exactly the same language today, NONE of the bullet points have changed or shifted in the years since. Sadly, you still find almost the exact same stereotypes today that I grew tired of responding to a decade ago. I know social change takes time, but in the time period since I wrote it, gay marriage went from not one state to legal in all 50, and now the fight has mostly moved to Transgender. As for interracial couples, you’d think we would now be arguing about transracial people like Rachel Dozeal–not about whether black women should even be dating white men lol. It feels ridiculously stagnant.

Isn’t that something? I often say the same thing about gay marriage vs. interracial couples. It’s not that you should have to choose between the two, but why is one WAY more accepted than the other? It’s like people say, “C’mon! It’s 2017! If you’re not for gay marriage/rights, then you’re living in the Stone Age!” But with interracial marriage/relationships, people are like, “C’mon, now. You have to give it time. You can’t expect people’s beliefs to change overnight. At some point, all of the racists will die, and we’ll all be together anyway. But remember, these things take time. You can’t expect too much too soon.” It is absolutely ridiculous.

Alabama Liberal

It is ridiculous, because your quote has been said for a loooong time. I remember when the Baby Boomers were supposed to be the generation that “ended racism” with IR marriage rates and they never even cracked double-digits, many of them eventually becoming Birthers. And now people are saying the same about millennials, as if some white millennials are not already in the Alt-Right and the few studies done on this topic show that black women are the only group in America that becomes MORE likely to interracially date the older they get, and single bw in their 20’s are not necessarily more open than single bw over 40. So I don’t put stock in the idea that millennials–a group I’m part of–will ever get above a 20% IR marriage rate.

A big part of the reason the needle moved on acceptance for gay couples was Hollywood put forth a very progressive representation of them. The same can’t be said at all for Interracial couples, many of whom are killed off, villainized, or simply don’t work out. As I point out in a relevant video “Why Won’t Hollywood Positively Portray Interracial Couples?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5D8erj5ejQ …It also doesn’t help that as amazing as Christelyn is, a lot of others in the Interracial community are overly accomodating to people that don’t get it. They will “hear out” or “sympathize” with negative arguments that are thinly-veiled segregation, but the gay community quit tolerating homophobia in any form years ago. It also doesn’t help that IR couples are the last major group in America that doesn’t have real political muscle, and NEVER threaten boycotts of movies with anti-IR portrayals.

I literally LOL’d when I saw “Coffee Lady.” Funny! I’m sorry that you’re having difficulty subscribing to the podcast. You can either subscribe directly through iTunes OR you can subscribe from the Libsyn page by clicking on the RSS feed icon located in the top left corner of the page. It should open a new tab for you, asking how you’d like to subscribe to the podcast. Hope this helps. Please let me know if you’re still having difficulty.

Thank you, again, for listening and commenting! Please be sure to share this with your family and friends! .

DonRice

Okay ,got it. Thanks!

DonRice

Okay, I tried to leave a comment there, but it didn’t go through. Also can’t see a subscribe button. Anyway, here’s the comment I tried leaving there:

One of my favorite old-time night-time dramas was Dynasty. I thought it got even better when Diahann Carroll joined the cast. I think it would have been even better if her role had been expanded and given more screen time.

“Scandal”, “How To Get Away With Murder” and “The Walking Dead” are my favorite current shows, in large part for the same reasons you stated, i.e., the self-assured black women who are not subservient to anyone and not “ghetto”. My second wife, RIP, was much like that, having been raised in the R&B industry and taught to look out for herself and her own interests.

I’ve been your discussion with Alabama Liberal on Chris’ blog and found it very interesting. I haven’t been contributing much due to my own efforts to finish my new novel. Now that I’ve found your page here, I look forward to listening more.

Thank you so much for listening and commenting, Don! I absolutely agree with you about Diahann Carroll on Dynasty — and I think it’s even more telling that her character, and her character’s direct family, will not be part of the Dynasty reboot. That’s just ridiculous.

Best wishes for the completion of your new novel! You’ll have to tell us all about it!

DonRice

Interestingly enough, two of the major characters fir right in with the topic of this blog post. Here’s a plot synopsis:

In a dystopian society on an alternate Earth far in the future, humanity is about to
undertake a journey that can change everything. But man is divided as much as it is now. Four leaders have arisen who seek to alter the status quo. Which one will win? Will anyone? Only if a mass extermination can be stopped.

Endesha Ifeanyi is the hereditary leader of the Commonwealth of Greater Africa, formed from the many nations of that continent and united into a single political
and cultural entity centuries ago in its own defense. Her people live in harmony with nature, using their technology only to protect themselves and to spread their knowledge. She aspires to the advancement of human awareness and conscious evolution.

Robert Whitaker is President of the American Alliance, a corrupt corporatocracy
that has taken over all of Earth except Africa, using military might and economic savagery. Raised in a racist society intent on controlling everything and everyone, his driving ambition is to finally defeat the technological defenses of the African people and conquer that nation if he can, or to destroy it.

Alexander Martin is the elected head of the Colonial Council of the space colonies and satellite habitats. He forms an alliance with the African leader to unite once
and for all the human race and end the Empire.

Niara Biboye is the High Priestess of the African people. Next in line to replace Endesha, she is curious about everything, from the ancient history of her people to the pale-skinned men of the Empire sent to steal her peoples’ technological secrets. Especially the man with the flaming red hair who is so unlike his fellows and just as curious as she is.

Into this mix comes Deaglan Quinn, a semi-itinerant laborer in North America, the heart of the empire that calls itself an alliance. Hired by a private corporation for a research position he’s uniquely but unknowingly qualified for, he and his corporate employer have been selected to join an ambassadorial mission. He is told that the purpose of the journey is to establish trade and diplomatic relations with Africa.

But the mission is a ruse meant to find out how Africa has been immune to attack and conquest. While there, he finds himself enmeshed in the conflict and falling in love with High Priestess Niara. Declared a traitor to the society he was born into, he soon discovers secrets known to very few outside the African continent.

Will humankind finally evolve into an advanced society? Or will it drive itself to extinction through avarice and the lust for power? The final confrontation is here!

Here is an epic journey that takes the reader from ancient history to the far future. Here is a tale of discovery, romance and transcendent destiny. Here is a mystical science fiction adventure pushing the boundaries of human awareness.

Wow! That’s a lot going on, and it sounds quite exciting! Best wishes for a best seller! 🙂

DonRice

Thanks!

Neb16

I just read much of the post and I am so sorry that the comment section is so atrocious. It’s interesting that it attracts the Bitter Black Man Brigade. Anyways, I heard pretty much all of these stereotypes. Number 1,3, and 10 was told to me by a half black guy who doesn’t even like black women, I told him that I didn’t have any trouble getting dates from men from other races. Number 5, I was told that by one of my mom’s friends, actually two of my mom’s friends.

I feel like if you have to write this list and it’s still relevant, we haven’t come as far in the first place. I see where Number 9 is coming from. Statistically, when white men choose to date interracial, it is usually an Asian woman. Based on reading up on this, it’s because Asian women are more open to dating them and they will accept any white guy. I think there was a black celebrity who said she doesn’t date white men because she’s afraid his family will reject her. It’s an example. I heard of white guys not pursuing black women because they fear rejection from them. These same men don’t understand that it goes both ways. I think when more black women who are well put together start being receptive of white and non black men, Number 9 will be put to rest.

ladyofmagic1974

This BW doesn’t have a problem with a non BM who have a preference for BW! Hey, I have a preference for non BM and to date none of the white and Latino guys that I dated doesn’t have a problem with it!

Alabama Liberal

“I have a preference for non BM and to date none of the white and Latino guys that I dated doesn’t have a problem with it!” Exactly…because most people aren’t looking to date someone that doesn’t typically go for them. I’ve dated people that I was their type and people where I wasn’t, and being someone’s type is a lot easier. Especially because attraction isn’t usually controllable or conscious, and if you start off looking for reasons “it won’t work” with someone, you’ll surely find them.

And on my part, I found it a pretty good weed-out which black women were completely turned-off that I’d mostly dated BW, because–and this was through years of trial and error–it usually signaled which ones were actually serious about dating white men themselves. Somebody who’s looking for an experiment or sociological study or material for a blogpost on Bossip–“My First Date with a White Guy”–may be subconsciously weeding out guys they could have a future with, and unknowingly gravitating towards white guys that enforce stereotypes: “he’s just looking for sex, he won’t marry me.” If I show up ready and willing, that sent the wrong women bolting for the door…and typically attracted the right ones.

Phyllis Pierce

Hello. I read your post and have a question for you: I have only recently started opening my options to include white guys. I was always attracted to them, but was way too shy. Now at 57, I am finally getting out my own way (or trying to). Any suggestions as to how to get started. I think I may havng first guy syndrome!! Thanks.

Cloe H.

Isn’t the main point of this blog is to point out to black women that having the singular preference for only black men is unwise? When you really think about it seems foolish not open yourself up to other options. I’d be a fool to only date white men when there are so many other races of attractive men in this world, including but not limited to black men.

Silver Roxen

This post is about white men that exclusively date black women. There are articles here about non-black/non-white men. Plus if a black women only wants to date a particular group of men due to attraction, then it’s her right. The problem is when it’s harming her dating options.

Hi, CocoBabe! It’s a podcast, so there’s no video attached. Give it a listen and let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your feedback!

DonRice

Hi, Ree. I tried to leave a comment, but it when I clicked the “post” button, it took me to blank page. I checked, and the comment didn’t post. I tried again, and the same thing happened. I just wanted to let you know there might be a problem.

Thank you so much for subscribing, CocoBabe! I’m so glad you enjoyed my podcasts!

Phyllis Pierce

I have a question and maybe someone can answer it for me? I only recently became interested in interracial dating. My question is: should I tell the guy that I’ve never dated outside before? Your thoughts?

I don’t really think it needs to be stated, in the beginning at least. I think the main thing is to get to know the person you’re interested in. Proper courtship is key.

Phyllis Pierce

Thank you

CocoBabe88

He’ll probably be able to tell if you have or not lol. And vice versa for you

Semizotu

I realize he only got two minutes, but the guy in the video was on about “dark skin” and “hips and booty” and there is so much more to us than that — it’s only the first-glance level. What else? Anyone who approaches me with that and little else gets side-eyed if not shot down. My baggage perhaps as a black woman whose looks have been devalued in racist terms is to shy away from that level of relating. From my side, I make a conscious effort to see past a man’s looks, which includes his race, and pay more attention to who he is. Maybe I’m going up against the “men are visual” trope and losing?

yoda

When some white men talk about only have a BW preference, they get hung up on superficial things such as dark skin, natural hair, hips/behind, big lips etc. They are entitled to that preference but BW are not a monolith. So to say you luv BW but only talk about skin deep appearances, I think that is weird.

I have been open to dating white men but they were not my ONLY preference. When one race is your only preference, people have to understand why someone would think that that is odd.

*i did not watch the video so I’m just speaking my general opinion on the topic*

CocoBabe88

I don’t think it would matter to me. But eventually when you become marriage minded and try to find “the one” you might find yourself in a niche based on the women you’ve had the best experiences with. So maybe he dated ww before but became exclusive to bw after dating bw. Kind of how I am now after dating bm

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Best Interracial Dating Resources For Black Women

What are some of the best sites out there for black women open to interracial dating? Despite the negativity about black women dating out or being “unwanted,” there are men of all races who think we are divine. Let’s focus on where we are wanted! Here are a few we've found from the BB&W archives.