You might care to introduce your students to the joys of pineapple farming, or banana growing (no big spiders !).
I'm told it works quite well at times, although the EU is a tad quiet on the subject at present.

You might care to introduce your students to the joys of pineapple farming, or banana growing (no big spiders !).
I'm told it works quite well at times, although the EU is a tad quiet on the subject at present.

Handley, you must not take the mystery spammer's tablets on the QT. At least say Please.

I had a friend at college - an Old Etonian. (I mention that because this story demonstrates his total lack of worldly knowledge.) He was round at our college at breakfast one morning, and saw me taking some pills. "Oh, tablets!" he exclaimed in delight. "I love tablets! Can I have some?"

"Sure, help yourself," I replied hospitably.

He scoffed a couple and then said: "What are they for?"

"PMT," I replied.

He went ashen and bolted to his doctor in terror, convinced he was going to undergo immediate sex change, while I rolled all over the floor laughing (they were only some oil of evening primrose and a vitamin e).

Fancy being so dim as to take someone-else's tablets, and knowing so little about women. And there are five of them on our cabinet at the moment.

Cup of tea? You can hold the scotch (sigh of relief). My meeting with torrid manager went quite well. There was only one sticky moment when he earnestly assured me nobody had lost their job with the institution for years, then his eyes went glazed as he remembered: apart from me, when he tried to bump me out last year. But to be fair to him, he immediately said, You came closest and spoke kindly of my exceptionally high student feedback.

Two of my mates in the RAF training camp where we were entertained, could, if pushed, form a damn good double act.
So A approaches B and say [in a slow-witted kind of voice]
"What you got this medicine for then?"
B looks at him and say: "I got it from the Doctor. I'm not feeling very well."
A looks sad and says: " I'm not feeling very well either."
Picks the bottle up and reads the label: "Shake the bottle."
Which he proceeds to do; very efficiently.
He carefully put it down and said: "Good medicine, that. I feel better now."
and with that wandered off to his bunk.

I think we should campaign to Manu for some more emoticons. Pineapples, dancing or not, would be great.

It had to be done. You should have seen his eager over-privileged little face! It was even better than the time I heard one of the choral scholars had been unable to appear in the television production of the college Christmas service because he'd got into a fight on the way back from a party and had two black eyes - and then found out it was my party he was on his way home from.

ROFLOL! It was one of my infamous mah-jong and cocktail parties. The yellow daisy, I think that's what we were drinking. OMG, no, I don't want one now! Just a gentle cup of tea will do after the long hard day's fighting off the machinations of management.

I think we definitely should lobby for a pineapple emoticon, and a yellow daisy .

BTW, giant spiders hold no fear for my students - not with the Black Widow as their tutor.

It had to be done. You should have seen his eager over-privileged little face! It was even better than the time I heard one of the choral scholars had been unable to appear in the television production of the college Christmas service because he'd got into a fight on the way back from a party and had two black eyes - and then found out it was my party he was on his way home from.

ROFLOL! It was one of my infamous mah-jong and cocktail parties. The yellow daisy, I think that's what we were drinking. OMG, no, I don't want one now! Just a gentle cup of tea will do after the long hard day's fighting off the machinations of management.

I think we definitely should lobby for a pineapple emoticon, and a yellow daisy .

BTW, giant spiders hold no fear for my students - not with the Black Widow as their tutor.

This avatar, Kitty Softpaws, is a black cat. I was the Black Widow in the Avengers' thread, ROFL. Thank goodness for that! You obviously averted your eyes from any action for the very brief period you were in there.

Don’t know if I ever told you, but you were the first person I “met” on Lit. You invited me into Molly’s thread and made me feel at home. I really appreciated that. You also prolly know more about the “doings” of our family than just about anybody else on Lit. That’s cuz you care and are appreciated for being you.--posthumous message from Safe_Bet. And I still care and I still love her. Rest in the Light, Suzy.

Don’t know if I ever told you, but you were the first person I “met” on Lit. You invited me into Molly’s thread and made me feel at home. I really appreciated that. You also prolly know more about the “doings” of our family than just about anybody else on Lit. That’s cuz you care and are appreciated for being you.--posthumous message from Safe_Bet. And I still care and I still love her. Rest in the Light, Suzy.

I went across West Africa in a landrover when I was a kitten. We started in the Camerouns and drove all the way across Nigeria into Niger. It was the first time I remember seeing anything of Islam. One morning very early at dawn, it must have been a Friday, we were in the midst of people all going to prayer. The men wore heavily embroidered cotton robes in pinks and pale blues, yellows and white with matching caps, the pastel colours in the African dawn light were so beautiful.

I'm sleepy today! Foolishly when I woke up in the night, I popped in here and before I knew it I was making breakfast in a spam thread. Any coffee about?

(Pineapple emoticon for HP)
(We must ask for a honey one for the Bear.)

There certainly is, Madam. I've taken the liberty of asking Rolf for you.
Your newspaper is also there, should you require it.

Oh thank you so much.

Now then, gather round. I've come in here to ask this as there won't be feminists rolling about laughing at me in here, hopefully. In here I'm hoping you'll pitch in in a sisterly way and tell me what to do.

If it helps you can picture me standing by a Jaguar E type with my skirt hitched up. I know I'm only wearing boots and a sword but you're writers - use your imagination. (Make it a smart skirt not some rara number, please! The MILF has standards, you know.)

I've asked my fella five times to put some water in the windscreen washer bit of the car and I'm bored of driving around peering through the murky windscreen at vague moving shapes outside while ferrying a precious Piglet to cub scouts and the like. I looked in the manual and it says put special VW washer-splasher in the water. Now I have two questions:

Do I have to put some special water in the washer water container? Or can I put boiled water out of the kettle or something in there?

Does it have to be VW washer-splasher bubbly stuff or will the Piglet's Hello Kitty bubble bath do? I mean, standard wishy-washy stuff I could prob. buy from the garage near ASDA, so I don't have to go to the other side of town (down near the Bluebirds' stadium - don't ask) to the VW garage and get drooled over by a lot of mechanics, as well as ripped off for being a GIRL.

I may have to come back to ask how to get the bonnet open (stop LAUGHING!) but that should be in the manual, right?

Now then, gather round. I've come in here to ask this as there won't be feminists rolling about laughing at me in here, hopefully. In here I'm hoping you'll pitch in in a sisterly way and tell me what to do.

...

I've asked my fella five times to put some water in the windscreen washer bit of the car and I'm bored of driving around peering through the murky windscreen at vague moving shapes outside while ferrying a precious Piglet to cub scouts and the like. I looked in the manual and it says put special VW washer-splasher in the water. Now I have two questions:

Do I have to put some special water in the washer water container? Or can I put boiled water out of the kettle or something in there?

Does it have to be VW washer-splasher bubbly stuff or will the Piglet's Hello Kitty bubble bath do? I mean, standard wishy-washy stuff I could prob. buy from the garage near ASDA, so I don't have to go to the other side of town (down near the Bluebirds' stadium - don't ask) to the VW garage and get drooled over by a lot of mechanics, as well as ripped off for being a GIRL.

I may have to come back to ask how to get the bonnet open (stop LAUGHING!) but that should be in the manual, right?

(skirt hitched up emoticon
plus any fruit you care to name)

Oh, I'm so with you. We're having an issue with a loose mirror on the driver's side of the car. It likes to pop out of the casing and dangle as I'm driving. Last time it did it to me, it was bouncing off the side of the car. I called the mister when I got to the party I was going to and told him that, since it still hadn't been fixed after THREE MONTHS, the next time it popped out on me I was either going to let it beat the shit out of the paint, or rip the little fucker off and leave it in the middle of the road.

For your question, I'd recommend avoiding Piglet's Hello Kitty bubble bath, but I'm pretty sure you were planning on doing that anyway. When you manage to get the bonnet open (there might be a switch inside the car), I can't imagine that you shouldn't be able to use the standard stuff. If it creates a problem... well, maybe someone should have listened to you before you got to the fifth request.