Young Jeezy’s Snowman Banned From Schools

October 14, 2005

WORST AMENDMENT

MTV.com reports: The dean at Lake Central High School in Indiana has ruled that a t-shirt bearing the image of Dimebag Darrell, guitarist of Damageplan, violates the school’s dress code. The code prohibits apparel “that alludes to drugs, alcohol, sex, the occult, gangs, profanity” or is otherwise “offensive to ethnic or racial groups.” The dean decided to ban the shirt after he learned that a “dimebag” is code for a $10 parcel of drugs, not a bag of change, and that Dimebag Darrell is a dead guitarist, not a regular guitarist who always has a bag of change with him.

Since news hit, school officials have been on the lookout for more student clothing that violates policy in similarly secretive ways. Here is a list of other musician-branded clothing that has suffered from recent apparel bans:

Young Jeezy’s Snowman. Tipped off by K. Sanneh at the Times that the angry snowman was a dope dealer metaphor, the dean explains the shirt’s primary offense: “And why do you think the snowman’s angry? It’s because he’s having sex.”

Ghostface Killah. School officials were less upset about the violence insinuated by “Killah,” more so by the nature of ghosts, “who are notorious alcoholics,” explains the dean.

CBGB T-Shirts. A surprising ban, considering that CBGB has nothing particularly offensive to it–or does it. It does. “They say CBGB means ‘Country, Bluegrass, and Blues’,” explained one school official. “That’s C, B, and B–but what about the G? It clearly stands for Ghosts.”

Tanktops. School authorities called this one a “no-brainer.” Says the dean: “Where are the sleeves? They’re probably off in the ghetto, gangbanging drug users and offending minorities.”

Nirvana’s Smiley-Face T-Shirt. A somewhat understandable ban, since the smiley face is clearly under some drug or alcohol influence. The school officials have another reason however. “If you look really closely at the smiley face, it’s having sex–with its eyes.”

Kanye West’s Bear Sweater.Reasons were simple: “It’s a bear. It’s on a sweater. Kids are gonna get hurt.”