Someone said if you never failed at something, then you wouldn’t know how to succeed at anything.

Here is the correct quote:

To succeed, you have to be open to problems. You have to be open to failure. And as you go up the ladder, you gain the right to get more problems. -Dave Anderson

While I can see where the point is in that saying, it’s not a good habit for people to be so nonchalant about failing in relationships.

Whoops! Guess I’ll do better next time, and then move on.

Nope.

You’re dealing with people here.

That’s what makes building relationships on social media so delicate. You simply can’t waltz into a relationship hoping you have done everything right. If you haven’t, then you have successfully burned a bridge that may be impassible in the future.

I’ve done that too.

Not only have I burned that bridge, but I blew it to smithereens.

That’s why I cringe when people call me an expert.

But I still try so hard when it comes to the relationship marketing side of things.

The search is a lot of homework on the relationship marketing side of things, but if you’ve done it right, you will start to see the potential of a lot of relationships that you didn’t even know about.

The Wrong Way

I get a lot of requests to become friends with people, but recently, a person approached me on Twitter and told me that if I would go “Like” his Facebook page, he would, in turn, “Like” mine. Usually I don’t even take notice of requests like these, but it made me think about how I felt in that process.

The wrong way to search for a great relationship is to start the process off with asking people to do something for you. Someone that you have never met is unlikely going to share anything you have if you flat out ask them to do it.

Any cold approach like this is not going to bode well for you because people have a tendency to judge you right away. And since you don’t have the opportunity to speak face to face, you don’t have a way to show people your reasoning behind why you’re asking them for something.

This person probably is a great individual with friends in the industry, but the way they approached me was all wrong. It turned me off right away, and we need to remember that it’s not about what they can do for you, but what you can do for them.

Giving an ultimatum in a friendship is a rough way to start the relationship. Search for what you can do for people because when you first approach someone there’s going to be a wall there. They’re not going to want to let you in right away. It’s up to you to determine what you can do for this person that will allow them to want to let that wall down.

Searching for people will determine how you recognize leaders and individuals with whom you have the most natural relationship with. Don’t try to force a relationship. If it’s not meant to be, then move on and stop worrying about it.

Remember, you are out there creating a great relationship marketing strategy so you can build powerful allies in the business, so they can help you, and you them.

Without identification, you give people no reason to trust you.

People love stability. They love the fact that you know what you’re talking about, that you have established authority and expertise in a certain niche in market, and they know in the back of their mind that they can come to you when they need you.

This is why it is so important for you to identify who you are on social media so you can bring that strong presence of authority when you finally do approach someone.

#3: Connection

This is a word that you’re probably not unfamiliar with.

The connection.

Create the connection! Always be available to create connections for your business.

While the connection is one of the first steps in the relationship marketing process, the connection isn’t the relationship, it’s the introduction. And sometimes you need more than one introduction to that person before the connection is even established.

You can do this by creating an affirmation with people through sharing and engaging consistently. Since you have identified yourself, and where your target market is, now all you have to do is be there. Show up in their streams and fellowship with them through conversation and try to be of help and service to them as much as you possibly can.

It’s understanding how to how to capitalize on the moment. That moment when they need you. That moment when you can help them with whatever they need to reach their goals.

In doing all of the right steps you can cultivate your connection and graduate that person from mere connection to a person with whom you can build on a solid foundation with a relationship.

The Writing’s On The Wall

What Comes Next?

Well, you’ll have to check back and see the second part of this post, but the thing that you should be doing right now is to be yourself.

There’s no tool for that.

There’s no manual for people.

Sometimes you will do all of the right things and then something happens in the relationship that leaves you with your jaw hanging slack and wondering what you did wrong.

You can’t let those get you down.

The thing that comes next is that you have to be your friendly self to people. You have to treat other people and help them the way you would want to be helped or treated. People never forget a kind deed or a nice word about them.

It doesn’t pay to be cutthroat.

If that’s what you’re about then you can move on to the next person because I don’t have time for you. If you or someone else is thinking about is what they can do to create animosity or drama, them then perhaps you should re-think your reasoning for wanting to build a relationship with that person in the first place.

It’s ok to be competitive. It keeps us on our toes and it makes us better. But there is a certain kind of competition, the kind that stems from jealousy that can rot a relationship to its core.

Because no matter what, people never change. They hate it. You will be able to tell how a person is by watching their actions and how they treat others. With relationship building on social media, you can see what your future will be like just by understanding this factor.

But be warned, people are probably watching you as well, and while nobody is perfect, sometimes it’s best to just be yourself. When that happens you can’t miss in the relationship arena.

Don’t forget to subscribe below the post to receive more emails about relationship marketing and also get a sneak peek at my new book The Relationship Manifesto!

I am a digital strategist and content writing consultant that focuses your marketing on a psychology strategy. I am a Star Wars fanatic, musician, and I love to blog! My goal is to help people see the simple side of their marketing by doing what already comes natural to them. Be themselves. Feel free to let me help your business with a content marketing strategy which places your content on high profile sites around the web! I am also the co-founder of E and O Apparel modest church dresses for women and other apparel needs as well with my wife.