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Unhappy Female Driver

Yesterday I met a buddy at a local sporting goods store. On the way into the parking lot my lane was mostly blocked by a woman that should have stayed behind a stop sign... I shrugged my shoulders at her with a head shake and a probable look of disgust. I decided I could get around her and did.

I parked and headed into the store only to find my way blocked by this middle-aged tornado, literally blowing spittle from the corners of her mouth and she was HOT at me!

She started wagging a finger at me and demanding to know why I had not ceded the right-of-way (she was there first by her logic) to a lady...

"Well Ma'am, I didn't see one."

That did not help her and she went off on another tangent and I just stood there watching her go off... everything from tears, to more finger wagging, to wild incoherent ranting...

Finally I looked down at her and quietly asked "Do you always talk like this to serial killers?"

I maintained eye contact while her tirade continued for a few seconds until the light bulb went on... She didn't really shut up but started backing up with very wide eyes and got out of the way and left the instant I passed her...

I am still laughing... I think she needs to have her meds managed a little finer...

I just did a little quick research, according to quickly available information there are more residence in the small county I live in than the entire state of Alaska (that's probably one of the reasons you live there) at around 1 million. More than half of them are female. Gwinnett is just one of the several (29 I think is the number) that make up metro Atlanta which is 9th largest in the USA with a population of approximately 5 million. The available information says more than half are female. Now we do not have to contend with grizzlies or Kodiaks but what you encountered is not an unusual situation. You may have seen the little story that follows, it is still relevant.

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females. That's 18,000. In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.

Flip one off? I think not.

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

You live in the SE USA, you probably knew that before I posted that little story. I'm a native of Calhoun County, MS, I live in Gwinnett County, GA. Calhoun is over 100 sq. miles larger; the population has never exceeded 15,000 residents; Gwinnett is currently around a million. I have experienced some culture shock since moving here, although I have enjoyed it overall. I look out my window and see over half a dozen oaks and hickory trees. I can fish for trout within 15 miles of my house, warm water species are closer. You will get caught in heavy traffic occasionally despite your best effort to avoid it.

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

My best friend lives on the west coast and I live on the east coast, but we met here in Montana about 10 years ago where we are now next door neighbors for 4-5 months during the summer.

He and I were both runners/joggers in our younger days, and each of us spent a few decades running along the roadways and byways in the US, as well as in a number of other countries. Now, he and I take an early morning 3 mile walk together most summer mornings when we're not leaving on a fishing trip or doing something else.

Most of our morning walk is on a private dirt road overlooking the Yellowstone River in Paradise Valley, but to get there we must walk a short distance along the main highway. Invariably, at least 90% of the time, women drivers will practically run us over when we're walking along the edge of the highway, versus at least 90% of the men drivers who pull toward the center of the road when passing us. It's interesting to note that both of us had this exact same experience with women drivers during the years when we were road runners, and long before we met each other.

Like it or not, I think it's just a fact that men are more conscious in trying to be courteous drivers in these situations.

Now if you really want to get me going, let's talk about women pushing shopping carts in grocery stores...

I don't know if ladies in the wide open spaces are less connected than they are around here in the burbs, but the majority of the ladies I see going down the street, regardless of the time of day, have a cell phone against their ear. They can be backing out of their driveway and have a cell phone in their hand. If you are behind one at a light and they move when the light changes they are probably texting, which is against the law.

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

You live in the SE USA, you probably knew that before I posted that little story. I'm a native of Calhoun County, MS, I live in Gwinnett County, GA. Calhoun is over 100 sq. miles larger; the population has never exceeded 15,000 residents; Gwinnett is currently around a million. I have experienced some culture shock since moving here, although I have enjoyed it overall. I look out my window and see over half a dozen oaks and hickory trees. I can fish for trout within 15 miles of my house, warm water species are closer. You will get caught in heavy traffic occasionally despite your best effort to avoid it.

I did not know the specifics you stated, but had probably observed them at one time or another while never putting all of the pieces of the puzzle together. I live mid way between Chattanooga and Knoxville TN, the GSNP is just an hour away but don't go there much due to the crowds and traffic. I have been to and thru Atlanta several times, lived in Orlando FL for a few years, (culture shock) so I know the traffic issues and patterns. Guess why I live in a small town where "rush hour" is when you are 5th in line at the red light. LOL. Not many "turn signals here in town either, a few, but not at every corner, just on both sides of the walmart. Living in the south has many advantages, few dis-advantages imo.

I was based in Atlanta and lived in Tupelo, MS for 18 years. I hated having to come to Atlanta and drive in the traffic. In 1991 Holiday Inn told me I could have a job in Atlanta or be unemployed in Memphis. After 20+ years traffic is just something you learn to live with and you learn the traffic patterns. I have driven in most of the major cities, Atlanta is no worse than most; NYC is the only city I know of that I have totally avoided driving in, Boston is the worse if you have to get off the interstate; Houston has twice the population of Atlanta and it rains everyday at 4 p.m. (well almost everyday). And in Houston, all the female drivers are armed.

Last edited by Uncle Jesse; 09-28-2013 at 05:10 PM.

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain