Japan’s wizard of wanking to forgo world competition

Recent surveys by a British condom manufacturer have indicated that the frequency that Japanese people engage in sex is the lowest in the world. As a means of raising national pride in light of this dubious distinction, Shukan Asahi Geino (June 10) would like to introduce Masanobu Sato, a senior director at adult toy company Tenga.

Asagei reports that for two consecutive years Sato has earned the title of “the man who has massaged his ‘son’ for the longest period of time on the planet” at the World Masturbate-a-Thon in San Francisco, a one-day competition that he will not enter this year.

The wanking wonder tells the tabloid that he first entered the championship in 2008 out of curiosity.

“I wanted to participate on a private basis,” says Sato, who uses his company’s products in competition. “But then my boss encouraged me, telling me that I have to win if I am participating.”

An accompanying article interviews Tenga’s president, Koichi Matsumoto, who boasts having shipped 10 million units from within the firm’s lineup of artificial vaginas.

“When I practiced at home,” Sato continues, “I easily cleared the six-hour limit. So I knew it wouldn’t be an issue to beat the [then] record of 8.5 hours.”

The 2008 event was held on the first floor of a club. Strip shows were carried out on stage while porn films were displayed on a screen. The crowd contained a mix of both sexes.

“After six hours passed,” he says, “I started to question myself, ‘What’s the point of this?’ I was emotionally battered. Then, those who finished earlier, as well as the crowd and staff, started to leave the venue. In the end, the staff told me, ‘We know you are the winner, so please finish it off.'”

He wound up spanking his way to a new record of 9 hours and 33 mins.

After returning to Japan, he appeared on a morning television show and gave messages of inspiration to athletes at the Olympics in Beijing. His boss rewarded him by paying for a trip to a hand-job parlor.

“I am naturally slow in shooting my wad,” he explains. “So even at the hand-job place, I didn’t finish up until right around when the alloted time was up.”

Sufficiently motivated, he made a point of setting a new record the following year. Organizers viewed him as something of a star and provided him with a rather attractive blond interpreter. The results were very positive indeed: He topped his old mark by 25 minutes.

“While I am not participating this year,” he says, “if my record gets broken, I am ready to enter again.” (K.N.)

Note: Brief extracts from Japanese vernacular media in the public domain that appear here were translated and summarized under the principle of “fair use.” Every effort has been made to ensure accuracy of the translations. However, we are not responsible for the veracity of their contents. The activities of individuals described herein should not be construed as “typical” behavior of Japanese people nor reflect the intention to portray the country in a negative manner. Our sole aim is to provide examples of various types of reading matter enjoyed by Japanese.