Dwayne the Rock Johnson is one of the most likable and charismatic media personalities around and Brett Ratner is Hollywood’s most successful ass-kissing social climber, so it was probably inevitable that they’d one day cross paths (artist’s conception above). Turns out Ratner will be stalking craft services’ shrimp cocktail platter on Hercules, a graphic-novel-based The Rock vehicle being produced by Peter “JOIN THE ARMY, MOTHERF*CKER!” Berg.

The Brett Ratner-directed Hercules action film will be co-produced by Paramount and MGM, the companies announced today. Johnson and Ratner’s names have been attached to the project since early spring. The screenplay was adapted by Ryan Condal from Radical Studios’ graphic novel Hercules: The Thracian Wars. [Deadline]

Expected to start shooting in 2013, the project is based on a comic called Hercules: The Thracian Wars, which is described thusly:

Nearly 3,200 years ago, a tormented soul walked the Earth as neither man nor god: Hercules, powerful son of the god-king Zeus, and for this he received nothing but suffering. After 12 arduous labors and the loss of his family, this dark, world-weary soul turned his back on the gods, finding solace only in bloody battle. Over the years, he warmed to the company of six similar souls, bonded by their love of fighting and the presence of death never questioning where they go or who they fight, just how much they will be paid. Now the King of Thrace has hired these mercenaries to turn his men into the greatest army of all time, which means training them to be as bloodthirsty and ruthless as their own reputation. It is time for this band of lost souls to finally have their eyes opened to how far they have fallen and the narrow, perilous path to their own redemption. [Screenrant]

So, Conan meets Clash of the Titans, basically? Also, the mercenaries redeem themselves by training other mercenaries to become bloodthirsty and ruthless? That’s… interesting. That synopsis read like six Tapout commercials simultaneously trying to rear naked choke each other. Look, here’s what to expect: A greased-up, shirtless Rock bonks dudes on the head while Ratner throws shrimp at him, and it makes $80 million.