Yankee Pot Roast keeps its ear always close to the Hollywood buzzbin; Y.P.R. takes great pride in its connections to Hollywood’s élite; Y.P.R. owes hefty late fees to Blockbuster Video. Also, Y.P.R. used to date Renée Zellweger during her “chunky” junior-high-school days.

Thank you, thank you. This means a lot to me. It means I’m old. Ha, ha. Hollywood called me, asking me “How much to do a movie with Catherine Zeta-Jones?” “I said $50,000.” They called back, “How about $20,000?” I…