From time to time I will review movies that I think are relevant to the topics of dating, sex, or self improvement. Don Juan DeMarco is one of these movies.

Not quite sure how I came across this movie, I think I saw someone post a clip of this movie on their blog or something, but I had the opportunity to watch it recently after grabbing it off of Netflix. I wasn’t necessarily planning on writing a review of this movie, but today I decided it was very fitting.

After reading Lance’s post on Reflect t-shirts, I went over to their site and picked a couple up. I had totally forgotten which two I had bought, but they came today (Friday) and I was very pleased with my choices. I picked up I am a creative genius and I create my own reality. I am a big proponent of self affirmations, it’s something that I learned when I worked in sales back in the day (which was a Wednesday). I create my own reality is one that have used constantly since then. As I sat here thinking about what this means to me, Don Juan DeMarco popped up in my head.

In the movie, the main character played by Johnny Depp is a delusional 21 year old who believes that he is Don Juan. In the first scene, we watch as he walks into a hotel restaurant in New York wearing a cape, mask, leather gloves, etc. He is looking totally ridiculous, dressed as if he’s going to a costume party. As he walks in, everyone is looking at him like he’s crazy, but he is so comfortable with his reality that it doesn’t even matter. He walks up to a woman and seduces her in a minute flat just by bringing her into his reality.

The majority of the movie takes place in a mental hospital where he is being kept and “treated” by Dr, Jack Mickler, a psychiatrist played by Marlon Brando (who looks fucking terrible by the way, especially as compared to his youthful Streetcar Named Desire self). Dr. Mickler is giving him his 10 day evaluation to decide whether to commit him or let him go. However, as the movie goes on, it becomes unclear who is really treating who.

You see, even though Don Juan is completely delusional, his reality is actually real for him, and it is much more pleasant than everyone elses. By believing he is Don Juan, women are in fact attracted to him, he has this entrancing effect on everyone who he meets. He saves Dr. Micker’s marraige, drives the female nurses gaga, and even convinces a male nurse to chase his dream and move to a foreign country.

How does this apply to pickup? This movie gets at the heart of what “Inner Game” is. No one has stronger inner game than Don Juan. This guy is so far out in left field, and yet he truly believes every word of it, thus constantly gets the validation from everyone because his reality is more fun and interesting than ours. That is what inner game is. Every bone in your body believes that you are attractive and successful with women, and as a result you continue to be successful with women.

Over the last week or so I have been in a fight with The Virgin because I was sick of reading his negative skeptical “this can never work for me” bullshit on his blog. I have since removed his blog from my rss reader because he is so negative and unhappy and isn’t making any significant effort to change. I can show him examples of thousands of people who have gone from where he is or worse to becoming wildly successful and he’ll still make excuses why this stuff will never work for him. And when it comes down to it, he’s right, pickup can never work for him. Not because of what he looks like or his personality. Pickup can never work for him because the reality he creates for himself is one in which he is miserable and unsuccessful with women. That is a reality that women don’t want to be a part of, so he can work on his technique all he wants, but he’ll still continue to strike out until he works on himself.

But I digress. Don Juan DeMarco is a movie that is very meta and while it is definitely not a movie I would watch over and over again, it is one that made me think and re-evaluate my life, something that we all need to do from time to time. It’s been a few weeks since I watched it, and I think I only gave it three stars on Netflix, but the more time passes, and the more I think about it, the more I grow to appreciate it. I think I’m going to go give it a rating upgrade.

For those of you who were too lazy to click through on the above link:

I just got in from a business trip to Boulder, CO. The in-flight movie was something that looked kind of lame, so I opted for pulling out my computer and sticking in my latest netflix rental, The Tao of Steve. The following is my review.

First of all, if you want to learn how to attract women, this movie is a great place to start. Dexter, the main character in the movie, is a shlub who seems to have an inordinate amount of success with women despite being a total loser. The movie starts off at his 10 year college reunion, where he feels really awkward because he slept with most of the women there back in college. He has also put on a massive beer gut, which leads to lots of stares and whispers.

You can see from the beginning, though, that he really knows what he’s doing with women. Directors set this up very well by momentarily eavesdropping on conversations about him and showing him interacting with a couple of women who he knows. In this scene, he also sets his eyes on Syd who is the drummer in the band playing the show and is instantly attracted to her. She becomes his primary love interest throughout.

Dex has a code that he calls the “Tao of Steve” which is based on modelling your behavior after three famous and notoriously cool guys named Steve, two of them being Steve Austin and Steve McQueen. The code is simple:

1. Eliminate your desire for the woman

2. Do something excellently in front of her

3. Pull away to make her chase

I love the simplicity of this method. Granted, there are books and books of wisdom encapsulated in these three steps, but it really does cover much of what it takes to attract women.

Like all movies like about players (Made of Honor, The Pick-Up Artist etc.), this movie involves Dex falling for a woman and deciding that he hates himself for having been chasing around so many women for so long. Of course this ignores the fact that only by having experienced being a player can he fully commit to one individual, but that’s for another post.