Nobody really likes to go through the act of apologizing for a mistake. In a recent paper in the European Journal of Social Psychology, researchers found that the reason might be that the act of not apologizing actually makes us feel better than when we apologize.

The paper surveyed 228 Americans about whether or not they apologized for a wrong doing. Then, they divided the group at random and asked them to compose emails where they apologized, or refused to apologize. Researcher Tyler G. Okimoto shares the results:

When you refuse to apologize, it actually makes you feel more empowered. That power and control seems to translate into greater feelings of self-worth.

Ironically, Okimoto said, people who refused to apologize ended up with boosted feelings of integrity.

Of course, while refusing to apologize might make you feel better about yourself, it can cause serious problems with your social life. Nobody wants to do it, but gracefully apologizing for an error can save a relationship, which is a heck of a lot more useful than a few hours of empowerment.