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Monday, April 12, 2010

Writing a letter to the person who hurt you- it can helpful and dangerous

It is known that the title of the subject is a very popular subject in today's society. This subject also connects closely to the topic of healing and forgiveness! Writing a letter to a person is just as similiar to confronting! One might ask- How can these two things be similar? First, confronting is a form of going to a person face -to- face conversation with that individual of what he or she has done to him or her! Second, writing a letter is a form of not dealing with that person face to face, but to inform that person by paper of how he or she has hurt that invidual in the past ! A person who writes a letter to the individual can work two ways ! It can be helpful, or it can be dangerous!

I. How can it be helpful

Writing a letter can be helpful when a person has a strong gut feeling that it's the correct way solve the issue! After having that strong gut feeling, that person uses the proper wisdom in what to write to the individual who hurt him or her!

After being lead by that strong gut-feeling and using the proper wisdom in what to write, that person releases those feelings of anger!! However,the letter will speak to the individual in order to have an understanding that he or she damaged that person very badly! This can be helpful because the individual who hurt that person will see their letter as a act of kindness and to bring closure from the past! The individual will either write back a kind letter, or come face to face, or contact by telelphone in order to talk about the issue! After both of them talked about the issue, it causes them to heal and bring closure to what happened to the past, but it doesn't mean that every person has to form a relationship with that individual! It also doesn't mean that every person will forget of what happened in the past! Don't get it confused!

In contrast, there are some downsides in writing a letter to the individual who has hurt you! Writing a letter to an individual can sometimes be dangerous!

II. How can it be dangerous

I am here to say boldly that some people who have hurt you, they are not ready to hear and read what you have to say! Some people can deny hard that they haven't done anything! All of these parts go with the same thing as confronting! To add to that, two things will happen if a person doesn't use proper wisdom, and not being lead by a strong-gut feeling, which can be dangerous!

1. The individual will read the letter, and will deny, or write back harsh things in the letter in order to hurt that person!

This will lead to a person to be more angry and bitter than before at the individual! Sometimes, that person who has been hurt will either go to the phone, or go to a friend, relative, or an aquantance's house to show them the letter. While showing the letter, that person is angry and talking about what the individual has said in the letter! Usually, that person probably says, " I am done with that person! That individual is crazy as hell! I am tired of this mess! I am not fooling with that joker any more! That individual has the nerve to deny what he or she has done to me! " In addition, most people will go to the next person to tell what happened because they are very upset with that individual!

2. The other thing that can occur after writing a letter, the individual will call by cell phone or telephone, or come to that person's house, or meet at a quiet place where there isn't a lot people!

After that, a dispute and yelling will occur! There is much tension and anger during the arguement between the person and individual! Sometimes, it can go so far into a fight! After the dispute or fight, most individuals will use the written letter to gossip and twist the information in order to start confusion! Most individuals will go so far to use the letter in order to get other people to turn against that person!

In contrast, here are some things that most individual will probably say to other people after the dispute or fight!

1. This crazy joker is going to say that I done that to them- don't you believe that!?

2. I cannot believe that person wrote such crazy things in this letter and he or she going to have the nerve enough to tell me, I hurt them! That person is crazy as hell!

3. Where in the world did that person get this mess from? This is hogwash that that person is talking about!

4. I swear that I never done anything to that person! I am telling you that person is lying off their teeth! That person is a constant liar and he or she is always accusing somebody!

Final word:

It's important to be careful while writing a letter! Having said before, it can be helpful and dangerous! If you know the writing a letter will cause the individual to act like a clown, and to make the situation worse: it's important to find other healing methods that will work for you! I cannot stress this enough!

Until the next blog, I hope everyone be safe and have a great day and evening! Take care!