I've never been to Greece, or to one of those "fancy" grocery stores, but that doesn't stop me from being an expert on Greek yogurt, excluding the kinds actually made in Greece and the kinds sold in "fancy" grocery stores. Real American Greek yogurt, is what I'm talking about. And if there's one thing I know besides Real American Greek yogurt, it's that Americans do not know what kind of Greek yogurt they should be eating.

Fage. That's what kind of Greek yogurt you should be eating, because it's the best. End of discussion. Whether you mix in the honey or the fruit compote or just something else, or whatever, Fage is the best kind of Greek yogurt out of all the kinds of Greek yogurt you can buy at the regular stores. Now you know. End of discussion. Who can't seem to grasp this simple truth? Americans, naturally. Ad Age reports:

Chobani today leads all brands with 47.3% share of Greek in the U.S. But Dannon has come on strong of late, growing share from 15.2% a year ago to 19.7% share as of May, taking the No. 2 spot ahead of Fage, whose share fell from 19.1% to 13.9%, according to Bernstein estimates citing Nielsen data.

Uhhhhh let me just try to get THIS one straight, Americans: almost half of you are buying inferior also-ran Chobani Greek yogurt, and nearly a fifth of you are buying that off-brand Johnny-come-lately Dannon Oikos Greek yogurt, and less than 15% of you are buying Fage Greek yogurt which is the best Greek yogurt???? What is your major malfunction Americans??? Perhaps this is some sort of meta-protest against Greek austerity, I dunno. But you people are eating a lot of inferior yogurt.