Thursday, October 18, 2007

Like most bloggers I have pretty diverse mix of readers who are men, women, single people, married people, people with babies/toddlers/teens and on and on.

But since I'm the father of teens at this point in my life, I thought it might be helpful to share a little "idiosyncrasy" that you might expect to experience if you have teens some day. Oh, don't get excited. I'm not talking about any earth-shattering revelations, I'm simply referring to the phenomenon of lost, missing or consumed goods.

Duct tape - Don't ask me why, but kids are fascinated with duct tape and will figure out a way to consume a roll in one sitting. At one point my kids were making duct tape wallets. Another time I came home to find Austin completely cocooned in tape and writhing on the floor. Yes, his brother and friends were responsible.

Other tape - It doesn't matter... scotch, packing, masking - any tape is fair game. It doesn't matter how much I buy - if I need it, I ain't got it. It's that simple.

Scissors - They're supposed to be in a clay cup in our cupboard. Two or three pairs of them. I'll give you one guess how many are in there at any given time. If you said zero then you were right.

SD memory cards - Seriously. You'd think if I had a 1 Gig memory card for my camera it would actually be IN the camera. Ya, you'd think.

Phillips screwdrivers - Check the screwdriver holder on my work bench. I have 9 slotted screwdrivers. I have no Phillips.

Drill bits - Oh, I have the big fat ones. Lots and lots of big fat ones. The guys will know what I'm talking about here.WD-40 - Got boys? Then you don't got WD-40. At least not very long.Hats and gloves - Last fall I bought the cutest matching set. Last winter I had the cutest glove.

Hmmm, after reviewing this post, I have now been struck by one question...

Do any of you other guys hear your dad saying, "Can you say paybacks?"

deborah - Yeah, I smell a part II some day here. I think the single greatest invention of all time was the "find" beeper on cordless phones. We must push that stupid button 10 times a day, and it's like a lottery to guess where it will be each time. It's not foolproof though because one time we had to give it up for lost - until we later found it in the garage. Yep. Teens.

I think another follow up would be the things "left". I am always finding hair thingys, misc shoes, used dishes, and discarded dvd boxes when Rachel has been here on her weekends. They are like little indoor hurricanes picking up and dropping as they go about the house.As for scissors and tape, yup, if they aren't in the junk drawer, they are in her room. I guess it's that crafty side of them.

When I saw the title of this post, I thought you were going to write about the law that just got passed in Maine where kids as young as TEN can get birth control pills. I know, can you believe it?!

As for things going missing around here and my kids are not teens yet...my voice b/c of all the yelling and nagging to tell them to clean up their rooms, eat their veggies, brush their teeth, change their clothes, do their homework, blah blah blah. You get the point!

carla - If only we could get them to "leave" their dirty clothes in the hamper. That would be a good thing too.

julie - I think I do have more teen ammo left to give. Watch for it.

dad - No Dad, the remote isn't missing. We store it under the couch cushions along with many other things. Believe it or not I found an old peanut butter sandwich in there a few weeks ago. So feel free to dig out the remote next time you're here.

whit - No kidding. My kids can make a new box of cereal disappear in one sitting. Now THAT'S magic!

diesel - Awww, the kids these days are growing up so fast.

mom thumb - So you're saying there IS hope! Huh, but then I suppose once they move out I'll be the only one to blame.

waya - Wow, birth control for 10 year olds? Wait a minute, how is that even possible at that age? I must be seriously uninformed.

stepping - That's actually one product I've never tried. Maybe because I hate the picture of the gorilla's ugly fingernails on the ad.

Everything you mentioned PLUS - the remotes, my jewellery, my perfumes/body sprays... any of my toiletries, basically. Make-up, especially mascara and foundation. These are mostly girl problems, I know (except for one gold chain the 12 year old boy likes), but it's all the same. If I can't find it, look in the teenager's disaster area, er, room.

After they have learned to drive you will never have any petrol in your car.

When they are old enough to work the TV remote control (like from 2 years old) you will never have an adult programme on your tv set for you will never find where they hide the remote, as they become teenagers instead of cartoons you find various MTV channels on 24/7.

If they are girls you are required to buy at least one set of hair straighteners per month for them.

If you are stupid enough to put your cellphone down for two minutes then you are stupid enough to let them use it for the next two hours.

I can't believe I just read all that and no one said the words.....FINGERNAIL CLIPPERS

and I agree with a few others that these items can be scavenged from much younger kids than teens, and we won't EVEN talk about husbands stealing tools from the womans cool, tidy little step stool toolbox.

I hide these items here and there, because if they are not handy, they won't bother with them but then I'm willing to bet if you did that you would forget where you hid them, right?

mooselet - At this point my daughter (who is 11) has not yet shown an interest in the girlie stuff like makeup and jewelry. But thanks for the heads up!

bon bon - You mean?... Are you trying to say?... Could it be?... my kids will use my car and NOT replace the gas? There's no way. I've raised my kids to be more responsible than that. Sorry.

ve - Good luck with that. And happy birthday to her!

bee - I know you're around. I don't have THAT many people from France showing up in my site meter. I've been lurking around your place too but I don't comment much because most of the time I'm not sure if Google translator has translated your stories properly, and I'm afraid I'll comment about the wrong thing!

mitch - Yes, you're an international media star and I'm not. ;-)

gary - Ah ha! We beat the cell phone problem by buying one for each of our kids. Wait a minute...

ba doozie - Fingernail clippers is a good one. I would have added that for sure if I'd thought of it.