Saw the new Spider-Man movie last night (loved Andrew Garfield as Spidey!), but there’s a creature in the movie, a scaly reptilian beast, that reminded me of my shins.

Yes, I believe I’m on the verge of a dry skin crisis, one brought on by professional exhaustion.

You see, ever since his movie career started taking off, Tabs has been working me to the bone.

On the one hand, it’s good overtime, but by bedtime, I’ve been so exhausted that I haven’t been wanting to moisturize my bod after my shower, so I’ve been skipping the lotion and crawling straight into bed, ashy legs and all (please don’t tell my mom).

I come from a long line of dry skin sufferers… Growing up, lotion was revered in our house like it was manna from heaven, and if I had a penny for every time I got lectured about applying lotion on my legs before going outside to play, well, I’d have a few hundred extra pennies right now.

Yes, Tabs, I’m well aware that you and your feline friends laugh at me behind my back whenever you see me drawing thick cat eyeliner on my upper lash line and flicking out the ends.

I’ve watched you, laughing at me… “Haha!” you say. “Look at her trying to look like us. Haha! Silly human. We wake up like this!”

Well, you better watch your six, kitties, because this human is getting closer and closer to cat eyeliner like yours thanks to the ELF Studio Makeup Remover Pen ($3).

It’s a moisturizing liquid makeup remover made with a meow mix of Vitamin E, cucumber and chamomile, and it comes in a felt-tip pen.

I’ve been using it to correct minor mistakes, smudges and smears with wayward mascara, liner or eyeshadow (even the waterproof stuff) without messing up the rest of my eye makeup. It’s quick and easy and works without the need to rinse.[Continue reading…]