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Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 3 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Teen pop star Nick Jonas, taking a break from touring with his brothers to raise awareness of juvenile diabetes, said he dreams about being U.S. president and may study political science in college.

The 16-year-old singer, songwriter and member of pop trio the Jonas Bros, spoke on Monday to a sold-out audience at the National Press Club, a venue often reserved for presidents, kings and chief executives but for Jonas had many seats occupied by teenage and pre-teen girls.

Jonas talked about raising awareness and funding for juvenile diabetes, a disease he was diagnosed with in 2005.

Asked about recent trips to Washington, the youngest of the Jonas Bros told the crowd "I've always had this dream of becoming president one day." He said it was "very cool" and "such an honor" to visit the White House earlier this year.

The brothers made a surprise visit to President Barack Obama's daughters in January, and Nick Jonas met Obama in June as part of his diabetes efforts.

In an interview with Reuters, Jonas said his talk of wanting to be president was not entirely a tease. "As much as I joke about it and kind of say it to get a laugh, it is somewhat serious. I don't know if it will happen," he said.

If he goes to college, "I'd probably study English and then political science because I'm interested in it," he said. At the moment, he's touring with his band and will start shooting for TV show "Camp Rock 2" with his brothers in September.

Jonas told the press club audience he has learned to manage his diabetes while keeping a busy touring schedule but had adjusted his diet to help regulate blood sugar.

A song he wrote about diabetes includes a line saying "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone," and an audience member asked Jonas what he was referring to.

"Probably chocolate cake," he joked.

Jonas said he still eats his favorite foods but closely monitors his diet. There have been "one or two moments" during concerts when he asked his brothers to talk a bit longer on stage while he stepped away to check his sugar levels. He wears a diabetic insulin pump on his lower back while performs.

In response to questions, Jonas said he does not currently have a girlfriend and would consider dating a fan.

"I didn't know I was going to get in a suit today and have to talk about that kind of stuff," he said with a smile.

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – A Mississippi woman who was shot in the head not only survived but made herself tea and offered an astonished deputy something to drink, authorities said Friday. Tammy Sexton, 47, remained hospitalized three days after being wounded by her husband, who killed himself after he shot his wife. A bullet struck her squarely in the forehead, passed through her skull and exited through the back of her head, authorities said. She is expected to fully recover.

"There's no way she should be alive other than a miracle from God," said Sheriff Mike Byrd of Jackson County, Miss.

Byrd said deputies were looking for Sexton's husband, Donald Ray Sexton, earlier in the week to give him a document ordering him to stay away from his wife. Court records show he was put on probation for six months on April 9 for domestic violence.

He showed up at their home in rural Jackson County in Southeast Mississippi about 12:10 a.m. Tuesday and confronted his wife as a relative ran next door to call police, the sheriff said.

"She was at her bed, and he shot her right in the head," Byrd said. "Then he went out on the back porch and shot himself."

A deputy was greeted by the woman when he arrived minutes after she was shot with the slug from a .380-caliber handgun.

"When the officer got there she said, `What's going on?' She was holding a rag on her head and talking. She was conscious, but she was confused about what had happened," he said. "She had made herself some tea and offered the officer something to drink."

Byrd said the bullet apparently passed through the lobes of the woman's brain without causing major damage. She was rushed to a Mobile hospital by a helicopter.

While such cases may be rare, a neurosurgeon who wasn't involved in Sexton's case said such an outcome is possible. Medical journals also confirm people have been shot in the head with little or no lasting injury.

"There is a space in the brain where a missile could pass without doing any major damage. Is it possible? Yes. It would be rare," said Dr. Patrick Pritchard, an assistant professor of surgery at the University of Alabama-Birmingham.

The sheriff called the case bizarre.

"You just don't hear of something like this. Somebody gets shot in the head and they're dead," Byrd said.

SANTIAGO (Reuters) - A Chilean man tried to steal $80,000 from his 82-year-old grandmother by disguising his 21-year-old girlfriend as the elderly woman and having her withdraw money from the bank, but the plot was foiled.

The man falsified his grandmother's identity card and his girlfriend wore a latex mask. They might have gotten away with it if it weren't for a bank worker who called the grandmother's home and learned she was visiting relatives in Venezuela.

"She acted like an elderly woman, was dressed as elderly woman and moved like one. It was a good impersonation," Victor Mellado, head of client service at the Banco de Chile in the port city of Talcahuano in southern Chile told local television.

The pair have been arrested by the police for attempted fraud and falsification of documents and face a maximum of up to three years in jail if convicted, prosecutor Jose Orella said.

The problem with bank robbers, I once learned as a reporter on the cop beat, is that once successful, they keep coming back for more money. Let's see if this clever robber does the same. It will be interesting.

REUTERS -- MONROE, Wash. -- Police here say a man who robbed an armored car driver at a bank Tuesday morning jumped into the Skykomish River on an inner tube to get away.

Officers are searching the water and riverbank, and a Sheriff helicopter was circling the area, but so far there's no sign of the man.

Police spokeswoman Debbie Willis said the man robbed an armored car driver at the Bank of America branch at 19917 Old Owen Road about 11 a.m.

Mitch Ruth, who works across the street from the bank, said the robber sprayed the armored car driver with pepper spray and wrestled a bag of money away from the driver.

The robber was wearing a surgical mask and wig, said Ruth, who tried to chase the man down but lost him in the woods.

"He was a lot faster than I was," Ruth said.

Willis said an inner tube was recovered in the area. Investigators believe accomplices could have picked the robber up at a nearby boat launch or park.

I love how this reporter points out Berlin's "vibrant night life." On mushrooms. I bet it would be. Wild story out of Berlin from Reuters, below.

BERLIN (Reuters) - Police closed down a Berlin sweet shop after discovering the owner was selling chocolates and lollipops laced with hallucinogenic mushrooms and marijuana.

The 23-year old owner of the shop in the trendy east Berlin district of Prenzlauer Berg, an area known for its vibrant night life, was taken into custody on suspicion of drug-dealing.

"In the shop we found 120 pieces of magic mushroom chocolate and countless cannabis lollipops," said police, who confiscated around 70 sachets containing various drugs, about 20 marijuana joints, a range of pills and some jars of drug-laced honey.

Police said one customer, who appeared intoxicated, was arrested after trying to buy a bag of hallucinogenic mushrooms from an officer in the shop.

LONDON, England (AP) -- An amateur diplomat alarmed British officials during World War II by proposing that Germany and Britain divide the world between them, according to records released Sunday.

James Lonsdale-Bryans, a fascist sympathizer, traveled to Italy early in the war to meet the German ambassador, Ulrich von Hassell.

"It would appear that Bryans may be taking part in unofficial discussions," said a Secret Service memo released by the National Archives.

"Bryans' idea is that the world ought to be divided into two parts. That Germany should be given a free hand in Europe and that the British Empire should run the rest of the world.

"I am not sure that this is a very desirable point of view to publish at the present time."

The records show that Bryans had been in touch with Britain's Foreign Secretary Lord Halifax, and the Secret Service was unsure how much backing Lonsdale-Bryans may have had from the Foreign Office.

"Bryans is a talkative and indiscreet fellow who is in possession of a story which he delights in telling and which if told publicly would be likely to cause embarrassment to the Foreign Office," one memo said.

Lonsdale-Bryans also tried to discuss his plans with American officials including Gen. Dwight Eisenhower, prompting British officials to tell the Americans that Lonsdale-Bryans was "unreliable though not disloyal."

Despite whatever embarrassment Lonsdale-Bryans may have caused, British officials did not move against him.

"Although there seems to be a good deal to be said for locking him up to prevent him airing his views to all and sundry, I understand that if this is done it will inevitably involve his bringing up the question of his contacts with the Foreign Office and the facilities afforded him to go to Italy," said a letter from an official in the Foreign Office.

Other previously secret records released under the Freedom of Information Act reveal that British spies considered using carrier pigeons to spread misinformation among the Germans before the D-Day landings in 1944.

The Secret Service devised a plan to drop pigeons behind enemy lines in France carrying false information about the location of the landings.

The files show that the Allies dropped thousands of homing pigeons into occupied France by parachute during the war, carrying questionnaires to be filled with information that could help the Allied cause. Only 10 percent of the birds returned, leading officials to conclude many had fallen into German hands.

"It occurs to me that this is a possible means of putting deception over to the enemy by the careful framing of the questionnaires, as presumably the Germans must, if they capture some of these birds, take notice of the type of question which is being asked," wrote an official identified as Lt. Col. Robertson in a letter to intelligence staff.

Christopher Andrew, the official historian of the Security Service, said the D-Day pigeon plan was considered but never carried out.

PHOENIX, Arizona (AP) -- When it comes to marking up historic signs, good grammar is a bad defense.

Jeff Deck and Benjamin Herson corrected the grammar in the first paragraph of this sign.

Two self-styled vigilantes against typos who defaced a more than 60-year-old, hand-painted sign at Grand Canyon National Park were sentenced to probation and banned from national parks for a year.

Jeff Deck and Benjamin Herson pleaded guilty August 11 for the damage done March 28 at the park's Desert View Watchtower. The sign was made by Mary Elizabeth Jane Colter, the architect who designed the rustic 1930s watchtower and other Grand Canyon-area landmarks.

Deck and Herson, both 28, toured the United States this spring, wiping out errors on government and private signs. They were interviewed by NPR and the Chicago Tribune, which called them "a pair of Kerouacs armed with Sharpies and erasers and righteous indignation."

An affidavit by National Park Service agent Christopher A. Smith said investigators learned of the vandalism from an Internet site operated by Deck on behalf of the Typo Eradication Advancement League.

Authorities said a diary written by Deck reported that while visiting the watchtower, he and Herson "discovered a hand-rendered sign inside that, I regret to report, contained a few errors."

The fiberboard sign has yellow lettering with a black background. Deck wrote that they used a marker to cover an erroneous apostrophe, put the apostrophe in its proper place with correction fluid and added a comma.

The misspelled word "emense" was not fixed, Deck wrote, because "I was reluctant to disfigure the sign any further. ... Still, I think I shall be haunted by that perversity, emense, in my train-whistle-blighted dreams tonight."

Deck and Herson pleaded guilty to conspiracy to vandalize government property.

They were sentenced to a year's probation, during which they cannot enter any national park or modify any public signs. They were also ordered to pay $3,035 to repair the watchtower sign.

The TEAL Web site now has only this message: "Statement on the signage of our National Parks and public lands to come."

While Julia Child was cooking pheasants, she was also part of an international spy ring during World War II.

They served in an international spy ring managed by the Office of Strategic Services, an early version of the CIA created in World War II by President Franklin Roosevelt.

The full secret comes out Thursday, all of the names and previously classified files identifying nearly 24,000 spies who formed the first centralized intelligence effort by the United States. The National Archives, which this week released a list of the names found in the records, will make available for the first time all 750,000 pages identifying the vast spy network of military and civilian operatives.

They were soldiers, actors, historians, lawyers, athletes, professors, reporters. But for several years during World War II, they were known simply as the OSS. They studied military plans, created propaganda, infiltrated enemy ranks and stirred resistance among foreign troops.

Some of those on the list have been identified previously as having worked for the OSS, but their personnel records never have been available before. Those records would show why they were hired, jobs they were assigned to and perhaps even missions they pursued while working for the agency.

Among the more than 35,000 OSS personnel files are applications, commendations and handwritten notes identifying young recruits who, like Child, Goldberg and Berg, earned greater acclaim in other fields -- Arthur Schlesinger Jr., a historian and special assistant to President Kennedy; Sterling Hayden, a film and television actor whose work included a role in "The Godfather"; and Thomas Braden, an author whose "Eight Is Enough" book inspired the 1970s television series.

Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Quentin and Kermit Roosevelt, sons of President Theodore Roosevelt, and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police.

The release of the OSS personnel files uncloaks one of the last secrets from the short-lived wartime intelligence agency, which for the most part later was folded into the CIA after President Truman disbanded it in 1945.

"I think it's terrific," said Elizabeth McIntosh, 93, a former OSS agent now living in Woodbridge, Va. "They've finally, after all these years, they've gotten the names out. All of these people had been told never to mention they were with the OSS."

The CIA had resisted releasing OSS records for decades. But former CIA Director William Casey, himself an OSS veteran, cleared the way for transfer of millions of OSS documents to the National Archives when he took over the agency in 1981. The personnel files are the latest to be made public.

Information about OSS involvement was so guarded that relatives often couldn't confirm a family member's work with the group.

Walter Mess, who handled covert OSS operations in Poland and North Africa, said he kept quiet for more than 50 years, only recently telling his wife of 62 years about his OSS activity.

"I was told to keep my mouth shut," said Mess, now 93 and living in Falls Church, Va.

The files will offer new information even for those most familiar with the agency. Charles Pinck, president of the OSS Society created by former OSS agents and their relatives, said the nearly 24,000 employees included in the archives far exceeds previous estimates of 13,000.

The newly released documents will clarify these and other issues, said William Cunliffe, an archivist who has worked extensively with the OSS records at the National Archives.

"We're saying the OSS was a lot bigger than they were saying," Cunliffe said.

Like we ever doubted it! For instance, I once met President Clinton. So I'm two degrees from any number of world leaders. I worked on Good Morning America and for Peter Jennings, which put me two degrees away from lots of celebrities (including OJ Simpson jurors in the green room). To go on, one of my neighbors is a doctor in San Francisco, which puts me two degrees from countless patients. I have relatives in Montenegro, Germany, France ... imagine. I never doubted the six degrees for a minute. Now it's pretty much confirmed. Unless you live in a hole, you're connected.

Excerpt of today's article below.

WASHINGTON - Turns out, it is a small world.

The "small world theory," embodied in the old saw that there are just "six degrees of separation" between any two strangers on Earth, has been largely corroborated by a massive study of electronic communication.

With records of 30 billion electronic conversations among 180 million people from around the world, researchers have concluded that any two people on average are distanced by just 6.6 degrees of separation, meaning that they could be linked by a string of seven or fewer acquaintances.

The database covered all of the Microsoft Messenger instant-messaging network in June 2006, or roughly half the world's instant-messaging traffic at that time, researchers said.

"To me, it was pretty shocking. What we're seeing suggests there may be a social connectivity constant for humanity," said Eric Horvitz, a Microsoft researcher who conducted the study with colleague Jure Leskovec. "People have had this suspicion that we are really close. But we are showing on a very large scale that this idea goes beyond folklore."

In recent years, the massive databases yielded by cell phone records have been exploited by researchers to better understand human movements and social networks. Stripped of text messages and personally identifiable information, the records indicate users' location and patterns of contact.

Enter Kevin BaconThe Microsoft research focused on the popular concept that has inspired games such as Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and a well-known play by John Guare. A "degree of separation" is a measure of social distance between people. You are one degree away from everyone you know, two degrees away from everyone they know, and so on.

But proof of the theory has been thin.

Its origins lie in the work done in the '60s by Stanley Milgram and Jeffrey Travers. In an oft-cited 1969 work, they put the figure at 6.2, though they never referred to it as "degrees of separation."

Their finding was based on asking 296 people in Nebraska and Boston to send a letter through acquaintances to a Boston stockbroker.

The subjects were told to send the letter to an acquaintance who could best advance the letter to the target, but most failed: Only 64 of the original 296 letters reached the stockbroker. Of those letter chains that were complete, the average number of degrees of separation was 6.2. The high failure rate, and the possibility that the incomplete chains reflected much more distant relationships, led some to question the results. Also, all of the subjects were in the United States. What would happen if the test was expanded to the planet?

Takes off worldwideThe idea was taken up again, this time on a global scale, by Columbia University researchers in a 2003 report of an e-mail experiment. More than 24,163 volunteers agreed to try to send an e-mail through acquaintances to one of 18 target persons in 13 countries. Only 384 of those 24,163 letter chains were completed. Of those completed chains, the average number of steps was 4, and using statistical techniques, the researchers estimated that the average length in all of the chains was between five and seven steps. Still, it was an estimate.

The Microsoft Messenger project, which was presented at a technical conference in Beijing in April, went further.

DENTON — Investigators are looking into how a young boy managed to slip out of a Denton day care center unnoticed, then cross two busy roads and end up a half-mile away at a Hooters restaurant on Tuesday afternoon.

The five-year-old boy walked out of the Imagination Station child care center in the 2300 block of San Jacinto Boulevard near Golden Triangle Mall.

He then crossed busy Dallas Drive to go to a RaceTrac gas station to purchase a soft drink and snacks.

After leaving the station, he ended up in the Hooters parking lot about a half-mile away.

The restaurant's general manager Brian Mason and his employees spotted the child shortly before 5 p.m. Tuesday.

"I was pretty impressed that he made it that way without getting hurt," Mason said. "He let us know that he looked both ways before crossing the road, stopped in the middle and then crossed again."

With no chaperone for the boy in sight, Mason called police.

"We kept him in the back coloring and kept him pretty occupied until the police showed up," he said.

Deborah Pugh, the day care owner, said the boy had asked to go to the bathroom before he disappeared. When his father arrived minutes later to pick up the child, workers said they realized the boy was missing.

Pugh said she believes he got out through a fire exit, which, by law, must remain unlocked.

"We are looking into the timeline," said Denton police spokesman Jim Bryan, "but I think the greater concern is the distance that this child went and the timeframe that he was not in the day care."

Despite what happened, some parents told News 8 they still trust the Imagination Station.

"She [Pugh] is a caring woman and I like how she takes the children," said Grace Shotayo, one of the parents. "She really cares for them."

Imagination Station is subject to state inspection every three to five months. According to records, the day care has been cited for at least eight violations since 2006. Two of the citations were for improper supervision; the most recent one was issued in April.

Pugh said this is the first time a child has disappeared while in her care since she opened Imagination Station 13 years ago. She said she plans to install an alarm at the emergency exit, and is now escorting all children to the bathroom.

The five-year-old has not been back to the day care since the incident.

State child care licensing workers and police investigators are looking into the case to determine whether they will take action against the center and its owner.

"Dr. Fredric J. Baur was so proud of having designed the container for Pringles... that he asked his family to bury him in one. His children honored his request. Part of his remains was buried in a Pringles can — along with a regular urn containing the rest... Dr. Baur, a retired organic chemist and food storage technician who specialized in research and development and quality control for Procter & Gamble, died May 4 at 89... He developed many products, including frying oils and a freeze-dried ice cream, for P&G... But the Pringles can was his proudest accomplishment, his daughter said. He received a patent for the package as well as the method of packaging Pringles in 1970."

This from Reuters. Very odd news. Do you think it is possible he does actually know the woman but is covering this up for some crazy reason? Could you not really notice someone living in your closet? Notice the similiarity in ages. Strange.

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese man who was mystified when food kept disappearing from his kitchen, set up a hidden camera and found an unknown woman living secretly in his closet, Japanese media said Friday.

The 57-year-old unemployed man of Fukuoka in southern Japan called police Wednesday when the camera sent pictures to his mobile phone of an intruder in his home while he was out on Wednesday, the Asahi newspaper said on its Website.

Officers rushed to the house and found a 58-year-old unemployed woman hiding in an unused closet, where she had secreted a mattress and plastic drink bottles, the Asahi said. Police suspect she may have been there for several months, the paper said.

"I didn't have anywhere to live," the Nikkan Sports tabloid quoted the woman as telling police.

Local police confirmed that they had arrested a woman for trespassing, but would not comment further on the case.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German family were stunned when a rampaging bull burst through the back door of their house, charged around the living room, and then left by the front door.

"The animal basically did a tour of the hall, the kitchen and the living room before leaving the building," said Paul Kemen, a spokesman for police in the western city of Aachen on Monday. "It came in the back and went out the front."

None in the family were injured, but the bull laid waste to furnishings, causing an estimated 10,000 euros ($15,600) of damage, police said. The bull left after the owner of the house opened the front door for it.

The red-brown Limousin bull was part of a herd of cattle that had escaped from a farmer and overrun a section of the nearby town of Monschau. A huntsman later shot the animal.

... because I am half Yugoslavian. (of Montenegran descent, actually). At any rate, I suppose this could happen in any busy city where people are too cold to know their neighbors or keep in touch with family. I need help in these regards, too. Maybe we all do.

But this story is sad. If you're weepy, skip the below from AP wire today.

ZAGREB, Croatia (AP) -- Governments have changed. War erupted and ended. Neighbors had children, and then grandchildren. But Hedviga Golik never left her tiny apartment in Croatia's capital -- until her mummified body was carried out this week, 35 years after she died.

Police said Friday that no one ever reported Golik missing and no one has come to claim her body.

Residents of her loft building in downtown Zagreb had broken into Golik's flat after deciding that the apartment should belong to them, and not to her. Startled by the remains in bed, they called police.

Forensics experts said Golik likely died in 1973, about the time a neighbor last saw her. Expert Davor Strinovic said she seemed to have died of natural causes, but "it's almost impossible to say for certain" after so much time.

Some of Golik's neighbors claimed she had talked about going abroad.

Experts said her windows had been open, likely diminishing the smell. It remained unclear who -- if anyone -- was paying her bills and who exactly owned the apartment. In the 1970s, when Golik died, apartments were state-owned.

Neighbors now argue the apartment should be divided among the remaining tenants.

The discovery of Golik's body on Tuesday prompted media debates on how it is possible for a woman to die so long ago without anyone noticing. One local journalist said it showed people were becoming more alienated.

"My dear neighbors! Please keep on being curious and a bit tiresome, as you have been so far," Merita Arslani wrote in the Jutarnji list daily

... at least they picked the en vogue color. It's cool to be green. Crazy-bizarre story out of London today excerpted below.

But before you read it. Consider. Maybe they're coming to stop us from firing up the new CERN particle accelerator some physicists think will suck the world into a black hole. AGH!

Could world news get any weirder? Ask me tomorrow.

By Jeremy Lovell

LONDON (Reuters) - Aliens from outer space have been visiting Britain for years and UFO sightings doubled after the film Close Encounters was released in 1977, according to secret files collating reports by members of the public.

The alien craft come in all shapes, sizes and colors but their occupants are uniformly green, the Ministry of Defence files show.

The archives (at www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/ufos) are the first batch of a four-year release programme of all the ministry's UFO files from 1978 to the present day.

The ministry dismisses 90 percent of the reports as having mundane explanations and leave 10 percent with a question mark and the assurance they are no defence threat.

A 1983 report from a 78-year-old out fishing at midnight tells of following aliens in green overalls on to a spaceship and then being told to go away because he was too old and decrepit for their purposes.

Two years later, a typewritten letter to the ministry tells of an alien spaceship being shot down in the river Mersey in northern England by another spacecraft and of the author developing a warm friendship with an alien called Algar.

Just as Algar was about to reveal himself to the government he was killed by other aliens, the author of the letter writes. He was still in telepathic contact with an alien called Malcben from the planet Platone in the Milky Way, the author added.

Written at the top of the letter is the terse comment "No reply."

The ministry has files on 11,000 sightings dating back to the 1950s. A few of the sightings made it into the national press and all were checked out in case they were Soviet aircraft probing Britain's defences during the Cold War.

"Clearly some reports remain unexplained but we have found no evidence that these phenomena represent a threat to national security and therefore cannot justify devoting Defence resources to their investigation," said an official letter in 1985.

WORKING PARTY

The term Unidentified Flying Object was coined in a U.S. Air Force report three years after the description 'flying saucer' was applied to a sighting in Washington State in June 1947.

In Britain, so worrying was the spate of reports that a secret Flying Saucer Working Party was formed to check them out.

Like the U.S. Air Force, it concluded flying saucers did not exist. But its final report in 1951 was still classified "secret/discreet" and given very limited circulation.

Not all sightings can be easily dismissed as the working of overwrought or intoxicated minds, or triggered by watching Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Royal Air Force personnel, civil aviation pilots and air traffic controllers have also reported sightings and radar tracks that remain unexplained despite high-level investigation.

Among the most famous was the sighting on two occasions of unexplained bright lights landing near a U.S. airbase in Rendlesham Forest in southern England. Even the deputy commander of the base put his name to that 1980 report.

This seems like technology that is unlikely to catch any smoker under 35. But let's see.

TOKYO (Reuters) - Cigarette vending machines in Japan may soon start counting wrinkles, crow's feet and skin sags to see if the customer is old enough to smoke.

The legal age for smoking in Japan is 20 and as the country's 570,000 tobacco vending machines prepare for a July regulation requiring them to ensure buyers are not underage, a company has developed a system to identify age by studying facial features.

By having the customer look into a digital camera attached to the machine, Fujitaka Co's system will compare facial characteristics, such as wrinkles surrounding the eyes, bone structure and skin sags, to the facial data of over 100,000 people, Hajime Yamamoto, a company spokesman said.

"With face recognition, so long as you've got some change and you are an adult, you can buy cigarettes like before. The problem of minors borrowing (identification) cards to purchase cigarettes could be avoided as well," Yamamoto said.

Japan's finance ministry has already given permission to an age-identifying smart card called "taspo" and a system that can read the age from driving licenses.

It has yet to approve the facial identification method due to concerns about its accuracy.

Yamamoto said the system could correctly identify about 90 percent of the users, with the remaining 10 percent sent to a "grey zone" for "minors that look older, and baby-faced adults," where they would be asked to insert their driving license.

Underage smoking has been on a decline in Japan, but a health ministry survey in 2004 showed 13 percent of boys and 4 percent of girls in the third year of high school -- those aged 17 to 18 -- smoked every day.

Four months after he was declared brain dead and doctors were about to remove his organs for transplant, Zach Dunlap says he feels "pretty good."

Dunlap was pronounced dead Nov. 19 at United Regional Healthcare System in Wichita Falls, Texas, after he was injured in an all-terrain vehicle accident. His family approved having his organs harvested. NBC News / AP Zach Dunlap, 21, was pronounced dead in November after an all-terrain vehicle accident, and his family approved having his organs harvested.

As his loved ones paid their last respects, Dunlap moved his food and hand. As family members were paying their last respects, he moved his foot and hand. He reacted to a pocketknife scraped across his foot and to pressure applied under a fingernail. After 48 days in the hospital, he was allowed to return home, where he continues to work on his recovery.

On Monday, he and his family were in New York, appearing on NBC's "Today." "I feel pretty good. but it's just hard ... just ain't got the patience," Dunlap told NBC. Dunlap, 21, of Frederick, said he has no recollection of the crash. "I remember a little bit that was about an hour before the accident happened. But then about six hours before that, I remember," he said. Dunlap said one thing he does remember is hearing the doctors pronounce him dead.

"I'm glad I couldn't get up and do what I wanted to do," he said. Asked if he would have wanted to get up and shake them and say he's alive, Dunlap responded: "Probably would have been a broken window that went out." His father, Doug, said he saw the results of the brain scan. "There was no activity at all, no blood flow at all." Zach's mother, Pam, said that when she discovered he was still alive, "That was the most miraculous feeling." "We had gone, like I said, from the lowest possible emotion that a parent could feel to the top of the mountains again," she said.

She said her son is doing "amazingly well," but still has problems with his memory as his brain heals from the traumatic injury. "It may take a year or more ... before he completely recovers," she said. "But that's OK. It doesn't matter how long it takes. We're just all so thankful and blessed that we have him here."

Dunlap now has the pocketknife that was scraped across his foot, causing the first reaction. "Just makes me thankful, makes me thankful that they didn't give up," he said. "Only the good die young, so I didn't go."

Glad Mick made it. Very odd story excerpted from today's Reuters below.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger only survived an assassination attempt by Hells Angels members nearly 40 years ago because a boat carrying his would-be killers was swamped in a storm, according to a new BBC documentary.

The details of a plot to kill the British rocker were revealed by an FBI agent as part of a series, "The FBI at 100," which is to be aired on BBC Radio 4 on Monday.

Tom Mangold, who presents the series, told Britain's Sunday Telegraph newspaper that Jagger fell out with the Hells Angels after a member of the notorious gang killed a fan during the band's infamous free concert at Altamont in 1969.

The Stones had hired the local chapter to provide security for the poorly planned concert near San Francisco. The bikers terrorized the crowd, and were offended by Jagger's effeminate dancing. One of them stabbed 18-year-old Meredith Hunter to death in front of the stage. The chaos was immortalized in the documentary "Gimme Shelter."

The Hells Angels felt they had been duped by Jagger as fingers were pointed in the aftermath of the concert. Former special agent Mark Young, who was interviewed for the BBC series, said a boatload of Hells Angels set out to take revenge on Jagger at his holiday home in the Hamptons, near New York City.

"The Hells Angels were so angered by Jagger's treatment of them that they decided to kill him," Mangold told the newspaper.

"They planned the attack from the sea so they could enter his property from the garden and avoid security at the front. The boat was hit by a storm and all of the men were thrown overboard. All survived and there was not said to have been any further attempt on Jagger's life."

Alan Passaro was arrested and tried for Hunter's murder in 1972 but was acquitted after a jury concluded that he had acted in self-defense because Hunter was carrying a handgun. Passaro later drowned in an accident.

MILWAUKEE (Jan. 25) - Aaaaaaay! The Fonz will be returning to Milwaukee later this year - permanently, and in bronze.

A statue of Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli, the leather-jacketed biker from "Happy Days," will be erected in the city where the TV sitcom was set, now that local groups have raised the $85,000 needed to do it, civic leaders said Friday.

Long Beach - Iraq veteran Jason Lemieux might not be marching in the 11th annual Long Beach Veterans Day Parade on Saturday.

The Marine, who served three tours of duty in Iraq and is now against the war, was hoping to march as a member of Iraq Veterans Against the War, a national organization that calls for immediate withdrawal of troops in Iraq.

The group's application, however, was rejected last month because of its political views, parade coordinators said.

"I wanted to march like the rest of the Iraq veterans," said Lemieux, a 24-year-old Anaheim resident. "I served my country. I'm a veteran of a foreign war. I think I deserve that respect."

Iraq Veterans, along with the groups Veterans for Peace and Military Families Speak Out, applied to march together in the parade this year under the entry "Military Patriots."

After reviewing each group's mission statement, the Veterans Day Parade Committee, a non-profit group that organizes the event, voted unanimously to reject the application, said parade coordinator Martha Thuente.

"They do not fit the spirit of the parade," she said. "The spirit being one of gratitude for what the veterans have done. We do not want groups of a political nature, advocating the troops' withdrawal from Iraq."

Parade coordinators work hard to keep the event free from politics, Thuente said.

"We're not allowed to take a political stance."

The rejection has left many veterans and anti-war groups outraged.

"It think it's absurd," said Adrian Novotny, president of the Long Beach Chapter of Veterans for Peace, a national nonprofit that advocates non-violence, VA healthcare and veterans' rights. "It's a violation of Democracy, the whole concept which we are allegedly dying for."

Novotny, a Vietnam vet and professor of anthropology at Long Beach City College, said the situation is especially frustrating since the group was allowed to march in the parade last year.

It also marched eight years ago, he said, even though it did not submit an application.

Thuente said Veterans for Peace was allowed to march last year because parade coordinators did not fully check the group's application.

"Perhaps if we had checked out their agenda, they would not have been allowed," she said. "We didn't realize they had marched until after the parade."

Members of each of the three groups voiced their opinion at Tuesday night's City Council meeting.

However, City Attorney Bob Shannon on Wednesday said the parade committee is a private, non-profit organization, and therefore reserves the right to choose its participants.

"These veterans groups certainly have First Amendment rights," Shannon said. "But the parade committee also has the First Amendment right to exclude whoever they wish if (the entry) does not keep within the theme."

The city provides the staffing, flags, banners, utilities and police protection, Shannon said, but does not play any role in the approval of parade participants.

"The fact that the city does provide staff is a disconnect," Shannon said.

Councilman Val Lerch, a member of the parade committee, supported the board's decision.

"They voted unanimously to exclude a group, believing it had a political agenda," said Lerch, whose 9th District includes the parade route. "And I agree with the board's actions. For 11 years, this has been a parade to honor and support this nation."

The city did offer to set up a designated area near the parade, he said, where groups can stand and hold up signs.

"They can stand on the corner with signs all they want," said Lerch, a veteran who served 24 years with the U.S. Coast Guard. "They're not honoring those people by protesting."

Pat Alviso, a member of Military Families Speak Out, maintains that the group is not there to protest. Military Families is an organization of people opposed to the war in Iraq who have relatives or loved ones currently in the military or who have served in the military.

"We are not protesting this parade," Alviso said. "These are good people serving this country. It's an insult to be put in a `free speech' area. We are members of that parade and we are proud to be with them."

Alviso said only 10 or 12 people from all three groups combined had planned to march in the parade on Saturday. But now that they have been rejected, the groups expect many more outraged members to show up, she said.

Alviso also said the groups plan to take legal action if they are not allowed to march.

"This is a free speech issue," she said. "How can you have a private event in a public arena?"

Thuente said the parade lineup is set for this year, but the committee has offered to meet with the groups in January to discuss participating in 2008.

"They won't accept the fact that the parade is set for this year," she said. "I believe they've blown it all out of proportion."

Lemieux said he just wants his voice to be heard.

"It feels like I've been betrayed by the very people I fought to serve," he said. "They should be embarrassed by themselves."

I wonder what he means by a little. No more wake and bake? What? Reuters story below.

LONDON (Reuters) - British singer George Michael is trying to reduce his consumption of marijuana, the pop star told the BBC on Sunday. "I'm constantly trying to smoke less marijuana. I'd like to take less and to a degree it's a problem," Michael told BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs program.

"Is it a problem in my life? Is it getting in the way of my life? I really don't think," added Michael. "I'm a happy man and I can afford my marijuana so that's not a problem."

Previously Michael, who has sold more than 85 million records with hits such as "Careless Whisper," has admitted to a dependency on prescription drugs and has called marijuana much less harmful than alcohol.

Britain relaxed its laws against cannabis in 2004 but warned the country's estimated 3.5 million users the drug remained illegal and possession of even a small amount could still lead to arrest.

Michael infuriated mental health charities last year by smoking a cannabis joint during a television interview and saying, "This stuff keeps me sane and happy."

In June the 44-year-old Michael was banned from driving for two years and sentenced to 100 hours of community service after admitting driving when unfit due to drugs.

Police had found Michael slumped behind the wheel of his Mercedes at a road junction in London in October and the prosecution said he had a cocktail of both legal and illegal drugs in his system.

Michael revealed in Sunday's interview he has completed 50 hours of his sentence, helping people with mental health problems as well as drug addiction.

"I've also scrubbed down some very dirty rooms", added Michael, "and make chicken fajitas for some homeless people. I was quite good apparently."

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Even for someone as gaffe-prone as U.S. President George W. Bush, he was in rare form on Friday, confusing APEC with OPEC and transforming Australian troops into Austrians.

Bush's tongue started slipping almost as soon as he started talking at a business forum on the eve of an Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit in Sydney.

"Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction," he told Prime Minister John Howard. "Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit."

As the audience of several hundred people erupted in laughter, Bush corrected himself and joked, "He invited me to the OPEC summit next year." Australia has never been a member of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries.

Later in his speech, Bush recounted how Howard had gone to visit "Austrian troops" last year in Iraq. There are, in fact, no Austrian troops there. But Australia has about 1,500 Australians military personnel in and around the country.

Upon finishing his speech, Bush took the wrong way off-stage and, looking slightly perplexed, had to be re-directed by Howard to a center-stage exit.

But not before a veteran White House correspondent seized the opportunity to ask Bush whether there had been any new message in his speech. Apparently misunderstanding the question, he bristled and asked, "Haven't you been listening to my past speeches?" before turning away.

Bush is no stranger to the occasional faux pas, and often jokes about his habit of mangling the English language.

One of his highest-profile gaffes came in May when, at a welcoming ceremony for Britain's Queen Elizabeth II, he nearly placed her in the 18th century.

Then there was the famous incident at the G8 summit in St. Petersburg in 2006 when Bush, unaware he was on camera, greeted British Prime Minister Tony Blair with the words "Yo Blair."

Bush's sometimes muddled syntax and mispronunciation of words like nuclear ("nukular") have long been fodder for late-night TV comedians. But aides say his folksy style has helped endear him to Middle America.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Real estate billionaire Leona Helmsley left $12 million in her will for her dog Trouble but cut out two of her four grandchildren entirely.

Helmsley, the "Queen of Mean" who was famously quoted as saying "only the little people pay taxes" before going to jail for tax evasion, died August 20 at 87.

The 14-page will was made public in Surrogate's Court on Tuesday and reported in New York media on Wednesday, with the New York Post headlining the story "Rich bitch," referring to the female dog.

Trouble, a white Maltese, will be cared for by Helmsley's brother Alvin Rosenthal, who was left $10 million.

Two grandchildren, David and Walter Panzirer, will be left $5 million each as long as they visit their father's grave at least once a year -- Helmsley's son, Jay Panzirer, died in 1982 -- and her chauffeur will get $100,000.

"I have not made any provisions in this will for my grandson Craig Panzirer or my granddaughter Meegan Panzirer for reasons which are known to them," Helmsley wrote.

The will calls for Trouble to be entombed alongside Helmsley and husband Harry Helmsley, who died in 1997, in their $1.4 million mausoleum, for which Leona Helmsley set aside $3 million for upkeep including annual cleanings.

A spokesman for Helmsley declined to comment on the will.

Helmsley was convicted of evading $1.7 million in taxes in 1989 and served 18 months in federal prison.

At trial a former housekeeper recounted that Helmsley had once told her: "We don't pay taxes. Only little people pay taxes." Helmsley denied making the statement.

Much of her estimated $4 billion fortune is tied up in Helmsley Enterprises, which will be controlled by five people, Walter and David Panzirer, Rosenthal, Helmsley's lawyer and a Helmsley adviser, the New York Post reported. Other proceeds from the sale of her estate are destined for a charitable trust.

Biker doesn't notice he lost part of his leg while speeding along a city street. And poor guy. Extremely odd news on Reuters.

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese biker failed to notice his leg had been severed below the knee when he hit a safety barrier, and rode on for more than a mile, leaving a friend to pick up the missing limb.

The 54-year-old office worker was out on his motorcycle with a group of friends in the city of Hamamatsu, west of Tokyo, on Monday, when he was unable to negotiate a curve in the road and bumped into the central barrier, the Mainichi Shimbun said.

He felt excruciating pain, but did not notice that his right leg was missing until he stopped at the next junction, the paper quoted local police as saying.

The man and his leg were taken to a hospital, but the limb had been crushed in the collision, the paper said.

He threw his computer out the window! Achtung, passersby! My Outlook has been screwed up for weeks, but I resist throwing my laptop out the window. (Then again, a friend of mine with Vista is seriously considering it.) Has anyone out there had similar problems with Vista? Just curious.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man who startled his neighbors when he hurled his computer out of the window in the middle of the night, was let off for disturbing the peace by police who sympathized with his technical frustrations.

Police in the northern city of Hanover said they would not press charges after responding to calls made by residents in an apartment block who were woken by a loud crash in the early hours of Saturday.

Officers found the street and pavement covered in electronic parts and discovered who the culprit was.

Asked what had driven him to the night-time outburst, the 51-year-old man said he had simply got annoyed with his computer.

"Who hasn't felt like doing that?" said a police spokesman.

While escaping any official sanction the man was made to clear up the debris.

I used to be a crime reporter, and I have to say this is the most bizarre and weirdly wonderful crime story I've ever read. This story will take the place of my usual Saturday Zen story. Read it and you'll see why. On AP today.

WASHINGTON - Police on Capitol Hill are baffled by an attempted robbery that began with a handgun put to the head of a teenager and ended in a group hug.

It started about midnight on June 16 when a group of friends was finishing a dinner of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp on the back patio of a District of Columbia home. That's when a hooded man slid through an open gate and pointed a handgun at the head of a 14-year-old girl.

"Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," he said, according to D.C. police and witnesses.Everyone froze, including the girl's parents. Then one guest spoke.

"We were just finishing dinner," Cristina "Cha Cha" Rowan, 43, told the man. "Why don't you have a glass of fine California wine with us?"

The intruder had a sip of their Wente Reserve Chardonnay and said, "Damn, that's good wine."

The girl's father, Michael Rabdau, 51, told the intruder to take the whole glass, and Rowan offered him the whole bottle.

The robber, with his hood down, took another sip and a bite of Camembert cheese. He put the gun in his sweatpants.

The story then turns even more bizarre.

"I think I may have come to the wrong house," he said before apologizing. "Can I get a hug?"

Rowan, who works at her children's school and lives in Falls Church, Va., stood up and wrapped her arms around the armed man. The four other guests followed.

"Can we have a group hug?" the man asked. The five adults complied.

Cristina reported feeling the gun in his sweats when she hugged him.

The man walked away a few moments later with the crystal wine glass in hand. Nothing was stolen, and no one was hurt.

Once he was gone, the group walked into the house, locked the door and stared at each other speechless. Rabdau called 911, and police came to take a report and dust for fingerprints.

Police classified the case as strange but true. Investigators have not located a suspect. The witnesses thought he might have been high on drugs.

"We've had robbers that apologize and stuff but nothing where they sit down and drink wine. It definitely is strange," said Cmdr. Diane Groomes, adding that the hugs were especially unusual. "The only good thing is they would be able to identify him because they hugged him."

MIAMI (Reuters) - An 11-year-old girl was charged with drunken driving after leading police on a chase at speeds of up to 100 mph that ended when she flipped the car in an Alabama beach town.

A video camera in the police car captured the look of surprise on the officer's face when he approached the wrecked car and got a look at the motorist.

The Mobile Press-Register newspaper said the patrolman saw the Chevrolet Monte Carlo speeding and flashed his lights to signal the driver to stop. Instead, the car sped faster, traveling at up to 100 mph (160 kph) before sideswiping another vehicle and flipping over in the Gulf Coast town of Orange Beach, Alabama, on Tuesday night.

The young driver, who lived nearby in Perdido Key, Florida, was treated at a hospital for scrapes and bruises and released to relatives. Police also charged her with speeding, leaving the scene of an accident and reckless endangerment.

The car belonged to a relative and police were still trying to find out where she got the alcohol. There was none in the vehicle but her blood alcohol level was over the limit for adult motorists, police told the newspaper.

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese court has jailed two officials after they let a blind contractor build a bridge which collapsed during construction and injured 12 people, the official Xinhua news agency said Monday.

Huang Wenge, township head of Bujia in the southeastern province of Jiangxi, and colleague Xia Jianzhong were sentenced to 18 months and one year in jail, respectively, for not stopping the project, Xinhua said.

"Huang Wenge and Xia Jianzhong, who were in charge of road management and supervision, did not ask the contractors to provide certificates guaranteeing their proficiency," it said, citing the court ruling.

"When they knew the bridge was being built by a blind contractor, they did not stop it," it said, adding the contractor had changed the blueprint without getting a professional to look at the design.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 43-year-old German man was taken to hospital in critical condition after he fell off a second storey balcony during a spitting contest with his 12-year-old son, police said Friday.

A spokesman for the police in the eastern town of Cottbus said the man in Forst had apparently lost his balance after thrusting too far forward in his attempt to outspit his son.

He tumbled over the ledge and landed on a balcony of the ground floor apartment, police said. He was taken to hospital in a rescue helicopter.

I think I'm with the defense on this one. I'd be surprised if the average person driving on a suspended license typically ends up in jail. I wonder if she'll write a book (or have someone write it for her) while she is in there. It'll be weird to see her without her routes touched up and the fake tan when she gets out. I feel kind of sorry for her. I suppose it is the penalty for being famous for being famous.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A judge sentenced a shocked and tearful Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail on Friday, ruling that the hotel heiress violated her probation for a previous traffic offense by knowingly driving without a valid license.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Sauer rejected Hilton's defense that she didn't realize her license was suspended and ordered the 26-year-old socialite to report to a county detention facility on June 5.

Hilton wept and her mother, Kathy, yelled at the prosecutor, "You're pathetic," as the packed courtroom cleared.The stunning decision capped a two-hour hearing in which prosecutors argued that Hilton was thumbing her nose at the court and seeking to be placed above the law, while defense lawyers said she was being singled out for harsh treatment because of her celebrity.

Taking the witness stand in her own defense, the star of the reality TV show "The Simple Life" testified that she was unaware her driving privileges had been completely suspended at the time police stopped her and impounded her car on February 27.

Hilton said her publicist, Elliot Mintz, had told her she was permitted to drive for work-related reasons after the first 30 days of her license suspension late last November, and that she relied on what he had said.

But the judge said he did not believe Hilton, pointing to a notice she had received from a police officer, and had signed, during another traffic stop in January.

He said Hilton had "completely ignored" that notice, which she had carried in her glove box for weeks, and another license suspension notice sent to her office address by the Department of Motor Vehicles that Hilton said she never saw.

The frequency of errors in grammar and punctuation has become a serious concern, the State Examination Commission said in a report after reviewing last year's exam performance by 15-year-olds.

"The emergence of the mobile phone and the rise of text messaging as a popular means of communication would appear to have impacted on standards of writing as evidenced in the responses of candidates," the report said, according to Wednesday's Irish Times.

"Text messaging, with its use of phonetic spelling and little or no punctuation, seems to pose a threat to traditional conventions in writing. "The report laments that, in many cases, candidates seemed "unduly reliant on short sentences, simple tenses and a limited vocabulary."

In 2003, Irish 15-year-olds were among the top 10 performers in an international league table of literacy standards compiled by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development

And only trouble ensued. I don't make this stuff up. From Reuters in Berlin.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German woman's plan to turn her dead father's ashes into a diamond was thwarted Tuesday by her grandmother.

A district court in Wiesbaden ruled the 19-year-old could not take the cremated remains to Switzerland where a company creates synthetic diamonds from ashes.

"The daughter of the deceased could not provide sufficient proof that it was his final wish to be pressed into a diamond," the court in western Germany said, ruling in favor of his 86-year-old mother.

The court said the daughter's views on the care of the remains took precedence over the wishes of the dead man's mother but ruled that any decision had to be in accordance with the expressed wishes of the deceased. The ashes are placed in a press under intense pressure and heat, replicating the forces that create a natural diamond, over a period of several months. Synthetic diamonds have been manufactured from carbon since the mid-1950s.

AMERICANS who read the papers or watch Jay Leno have been aware for some time now that there is a slim but real possibility — about 1 in 45,000 — that an 850-foot-long asteroid called Apophis could strike Earth with catastrophic consequences on April 13, 2036. What few probably realize is that there are thousands of other space objects that could hit us in the next century that could cause severe damage, if not total destruction.

Last week two events in Washington — a conference on “planetary defense” held by the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics, and the release by NASA of a report titled “Near-Earth Object Survey and Deflection Analysis of Alternatives” — gave us good news and bad on this front. On the promising side, scientists have a good grasp of the risks of a cosmic fender-bender, and have several ideas that could potentially stave off disaster. Unfortunately, the government doesn’t seem to have any clear plan to put this expertise into action.

In 1998, Congress gave NASA’s Spaceguard Survey program a mandate of “discovering, tracking, cataloging and characterizing” 90 percent of the near-Earth objects larger than one kilometer (3,200 feet) wide by 2008. An object that size could devastate a small country and would probably destroy civilization.

The consensus at the conference was that the initial survey is doing fairly well although it will probably not quite meet the 2008 goal. Realizing that there are many smaller but still terribly destructive asteroids out there, Congress has modified the Spaceguard goal to identify 90 percent of even smaller objects — 460 feet and larger — by 2020. This revised survey, giving us decades of early warning, will go a long way toward protecting life on the planet in the future.

The good news is that scientists feel we have the technology to intercept and deflect many asteroids headed toward Earth. Basically, if we have early enough warning, a robotic space mission could slightly change the orbit of a dangerous asteroid so that it would subsequently miss the planet.

Two potential deflection techniques appear to work nicely together — first we would deflect the asteroid with kinetic impact from a missile (that is, running into it); then we would use the slight pull of a “gravity tractor” — a satellite that would hover near the asteroid — to fine-tune its new trajectory to our liking. (In the case of an extremely large object, probably one in 100, the missile might have to contain a nuclear warhead.) To be effective, however, such missions would have to be launched 15 or even 30 years before a calculated impact.

The bad news? While this all looks fine on paper, scientists haven’t had a chance to try it in practice. And this is where NASA’s report was supposed to come in. Congress directed the agency in 2005 to come up with a program, a budget to support it and an array of alternatives for preventing an asteroid impact.

But instead of coming up with a plan and budget to get the job done, the report bluntly stated that “due to current budget constraints, NASA cannot initiate a new program at this time.” Representative Bart Gordon, Democrat of Tennessee, was right to say that “NASA’s recommended approach isn’t a credible plan” and that Congress expected “a more responsive approach” within the year.

Why did the space agency drop the ball? Like all government departments, it fears the dreaded “unfunded mandate”; Congress has the habit of directing agencies to do something and then declining to give them the money to do so. This is understandable. But in this case, Congress not only directed NASA to provide it with a recommended program but also asked for the estimated budget to support it. It was a left-handed way for the Congress to say to NASA that this is our priority ... like it or not. But for some reason NASA seems to have opted for a federal form of civil disobedience.

Another problem with the report was that, while it outlined other possibilities, it estimated that using a nuclear-armed missile to divert an asteroid would be “10 to 100 times more effective” than non-nuclear approaches. It is possible that in some cases — such as an asteroid greater than a third of a mile across — the nuclear option might be necessary. But for the overwhelming majority of potential deflection cases, using a nuclear warhead would be like a golfer swinging away with his driver to sink a three-foot putt; the bigger bang is not always better.

Why the concern? First, even with good intentions, launching a nuclear-armed missile would violate the international agreements by which all weaponry is banned from space. Second, the laws of probability say we would be struck by such a large asteroid only once every 200,000 years — that’s a long time to keep a standing arsenal of nuclear asteroid-blasters, and raises all sorts of possibilities of accidents or sabotage — the old “cure being worse than the disease” phenomenon.

In the end, of course, this is not just America’s problem, as an asteroid strike would be felt around the globe. The best course is international coordination on deflection technology, along with global agreements on what should be done if a collision looks likely. Along these lines, the Association of Space Explorers, a group of more than 300 people from 30 nations who have flown in space (of which I am a member), is beginning a series of meetings in cooperation with the United Nations to work out the outlines of such an agreement.

Still, as with many global issues, little will be accomplished unless the United States takes the lead. With the entire planet in the cross hairs, NASA can’t be allowed to dither. If Congress’s mandates and budget requests aren’t energizing the agency, perhaps public hearings would shame it into action.

Russell L. Schweickart, a former Apollo astronaut, is the chairman of the B612 Foundation, which promotes efforts to alter the orbits of asteroids.

Gay fairytales freaking out conservatives in London. Interesting. These could never be even published in our rock-conservative U.S., what do you think? Whole story here.

LONDON (Reuters) - British children as young as four are being taught about same-sex relationships through fairytales and storybooks with gay and lesbian characters.

A pilot scheme to introduce children to gay issues is running in several schools across England with stories such as "King and King", about a gay prince, or "And Tango Makes Three", about gay penguins who fall in love and raise an adopted child.

The 600,000-pound ($1.16 million) scheme, called the "No Outsiders" project, has the backing of the Department for Education and is designed to help schools adjust to new rules on promoting homosexuality as a lifestyle.But it has sparked anger among some religious groups who say it is homosexual propaganda.

"This is tantamount to child abuse," said Stephen Green, director of the religious campaign group Christian Voice. "The whole project is nothing more than propaganda aimed at primary school children to make them sympathetic to homosexuality."

According to those heading the "No Outsiders" project, children in one participating school used the "King & King" fairytale -- which tells of a prince who rejects the love of three princesses before falling in love with and "marrying" another prince -- as a basis for writing "alternative Cinderella" stories.

In another participating school in London, children aged between 4 and 11 are rehearsing for a performance of an opera called "The Sissy Duckling" about a male duckling who loves cooking, cleaning and art.

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - A 98-year-old Mexican woman has filed a legal complaint against a suitor 50 years her junior who she said tried to kiss her and threatened to kill her if she didn't let him move in with her.

Maria de Jesus Flores, a widow for the past half century with four grown children in the United States, got to know Manuel Martinez, 48, when he started delivering her groceries.

But he began propositioning her to the point of harassment, Flores told the daily Reforma.

"I've been a widow since 1950," the newspaper quoted the old lady as saying, with a photograph of her at home in the central city of Irapuato wearing a checkered housecoat over a flowery skirt, her gray hair in a bun.

What reminded me is how all the wind damaged those jet airliners' windshields today. Quite a disaster.

In the mid 90s, I was on a United SFO to LAX flight to get down for some computer party. At 30,000 feet -- and with no explanation from anyone -- plane went into a nose dive.

You could not have heard an earring drop. There was no screaming. I was in first class and looked frantically at the stewardess across from me, she was strapped in with her eyes closed.

The guy next to me was a few years older, as I recall. A lawyer from LA. And he said, well, you wanna call anybody? We both had phones in our seats. Neither us made a call. He said keep looking out the window and look for strips of highway or flat areas he can land us. But nothing. Just mountains.Meanwhile, he chanted the words to every Jim Morrison and the Doors song he ever knew.

We all thought we were gonners, but then the plane started rocking side to side, violently first, and then more gently and then our nose was level again.

Pilot got on, apologized for not explaining earlier. Said a bird hit the windshield (the first layer) at 30,000 feet. He just had to get us down as far as possible so we wouldn't get sucked out.

We finally landed at SFO.

They immediately took all of us -- tunneled us to another waiting plane back at SFO -- put us in our same seats and we were off in like, two minutes. Everyone wanted to talk about the hair-raising experience, but we had a new crew and captain obviously instructed not to talk about it. Very weird.

My paper I worked for - The SF Chronicle/Examiner Sunday -- ran a paragraph about an emergency landing. My editor knew the whole story and thought it was funny. Sure we were at risk, but no one will sue you for "brush with death" if you make light of it. I mean, no one was hurt.

Another pilot later told me that our pilot must've been great, because to be able to get stable after a 5 or 10 minute nose dive from that height is really impressive.

So that's one of my brushes. Yep. Think I'll make it a topic. I'd like to hear yours.