2 Minute Monologues for Women | "Breaking Up with Brandon" by Gabriel Davis

Breaking Up with Brandon (2 Minute Monologue)Comedic monologue from the play Unbearable HotnessBy Gabriel Davis

You sound just like Brandon. For two years, I beg him to transfer here, so we can be together. “Oh no” he says, “some of my credits won’t transfer over, I’ll have to spend an extra semester to catch up.” Then on his visit over winter break I introduce him to Marisa.

Suddenly, he's like “What’s one semester when I can be near you?” And he transferred. Then last night he was repeating her name in his sleep, “Marisa, oh, Marisa!” I wake him up, “What were you just dreaming about?” He says “Uh, nothing.” And I’m like, “it’s never going to happen.” And he’s like “what’s never going to happen?” And I’m like “Marisa! You and Marisa!” And he’s all “Why would I want to be with Marisa!? You and I are together.”

And I’m like “If we weren’t together, would you date her?” And he says, trying to act casual “I guess, I’d be open to it. Why? Did she say something about me?”

And I say “No! Did you not hear me when I said it’s never going to happen!?” And he’s all offended, “Well, ‘never’ is pretty harsh. I mean, I’m pretty good with the ladies.” And I’m like “Not from where I’m standing, buddy!” He goes, “So are you saying you want to break up?” Yeah, we broke up.