5. Determination

I wish Edward would stop trying to fight the inevitable. It would make this whole thing a lot easier. Besides, I want to meet her! We were going to be good friends...how long would I have to wait for that? Only a few hours until dawn. Edward didn't play his piano as he used to. Oh he was on his best behaviour, that was for sure-dotting every “i” and crossing every “t”, but he wasn't himself. Yes, he hadn't left... He'd listened to everything, in case Bella spoke of her suspicions, he'd stayed to keep Esme happy, and the others at peace. I knew he wasn't strong enough to stay away from Bella, and so did he deep down. The night I had realized that he would love her - the night he realized too although he doesn't want to admit it – he ran. He'd tried to think of an alternative. He had returned at around three in the morning but he didn't come into the house. I saw him sat in by the river, in the shadows. The pain in his face was clear, but also a fierce – and utterly pointless- determination blazed in his features.

I ran to my closet. The best part of daytime, picking your outfit! The majority of the day would be spent in high school. An immortals torture. I had gone through high school so many times I could teach the lessons better than any teacher. However, it was all part and parcel of the lifestyle we chose. We had to do anything we could to protect us from exposure. I chose a simple skirt, shirt and jacket ensemble for today...can't be anything too flashy for school. A shame really, the humans could really do with some help organising there wardrobe and their outfits in the morning! I was dressed and back down stairs in less than a second. I ran out and sat on the hood of Edward's Volvo while I waited for him and the others. The skies were grey... Not unusual for Forks, it was almost always overcast. It wasn't too long until Edward ran to my side, in his usually khakis and beige pullover. It reminded me, I was due another shopping trip. His wardrobe needed a restock.

Hey Edward. How you feeling?

He didn't reply. His jaw clenched. He shrugged and then dashed to sit in the driver's seat as the others came towards us. Downhearted, I climbed in and prepared to put up with another day of school, not learning, just searching. Searching for our family's future, for any sign of danger...

Today was just as boring as any other. Edward's future was so boring at the moment! Just avoiding Bella and evaluating her every other move. I saw no danger for the family in general. I decided to check on Jazz, but there was nothing of interest, a fact of which I was very grateful. This boring routine went on and on. Day in day out. Pick an outfit, search the future, go to school, search the future, go home, search the future. Nothing interesting ever happened. Nothing dangerous or important either. Why couldn't he just give up and quite trying to fight the inevitable?! This had gone beyond stupid now. Just idiotic and boring.

One Tuesday in March, we were all sat around our table in the cafeteria. More subconsciously now, as it was routine, I searched the future. Oh! Well at least something was going to happen...how ever small and petty.

“Bella's going to stare at Edward in a minute. Look normal.” I said. Everyone shifted their weight, and moved. Everyone except Edward, whose face lit up despite his best efforts when it registered she was looking again. He reacted that way whenever she stared at him. I sighed.

I wish...

“Stay out of it, Alice,” He said under his breath. “It's not going to happen.”

I couldn't help it...I pouted. Why couldn't he just give in so I could meet Bella? And be friends with her like we should! I knew her. I missed her. Oh great. For the love of all that is holy Edward! Why do you have to do this?

I'll admit, you're better than I thought. You've got the future all snarled up and senseless again. I hope you're happy.

“It makes plenty of sense to me.”

For a lack of anything to say, I snorted.

The day dragged on. Skimming through various outcomes of the future...Ah ha! Edward's willpower would be weakening. I could see it. He's talk to her after class today. Uh oh...Edward was going to be in such a foul mood! Bella has taken his ignorance and coldness towards her as regret for saving her life... He won't take that well... I did warn him that no good would come of trying to fight the future... Good lord what was Edward planning now? Insisting on blocking of traffic so he could hear Tyler Crowley ask her to the dance? Maybe he would finally admit his feelings now...Maybe I could talk to her now...?

I slid into his Volvo with the rest of my family. Edward was, for a change, laughing hysterically.

“Let's go!” Rosalie hissed impatiently. “Stop being an idiot, if you can.”

Everything was silent on the way apart from the occasional chuckle from Edward.

“So do I get to talk to Bella now?” I asked without thinking.

“No,” Edward snapped.

“Not fair! What am I waiting for?” I moaned.

“I haven't decided anything yet, Alice,” He argued.

“Whatever, Edward.” I replied dismissively. It wasn't going to wash with me. Her destinies had become clear again.

“What's the point in getting to know her?” Edward mumbled, morosely. “If I'm just going to kill her?”

“You have a point,” I had to admit after a moment of hesitation. After seconds, we were parked up and Edward was out of the car.

“Enjoy your run,” Rosalie said smugly, but I knew Edward wasn't going running today. He was going hunting. We weren't due to hunt yet, but Edward couldn't risk being the slightest bit thirsty around Bella. I ran inside, to my computer and worked on my fashion design. Edward couldn't be too far off giving up now. I could tell his will power was weakening. Rose came to work on her wardrobe fashion project with me. After a few hours we'd both had enough. Rosalie dashed away at lightning speed to admire her reflection. I drifted to the sofa, at an almost human pace. I perched peacefully on the seat, perfectly content to do nothing. To just sit there and gaze out of the glass wall at the garden. Suddenly, a different sight filled my head. Edward was heading back towards Forks...But he wasn't returning here...No...He was heading for Chief Swan's house... To the sleeping figure of Bella Swan... Uh oh...He'll only sit there...but he's going to struggle so much! Not only that... If she woke up? And saw Edward there? What then? He was risking the exposure of our family. If she saw him there we'd have to leave again... And it wouldn't be safe for her either. If Bella found out what we are...If the Volturi found out? I don't want to think of that...Various futures appeared in my head...him leaving...that was a very weak, unlikely vision...him..giving in to his thirst...that wasn't very strong either...He finally accepts he loves her! At last! Well..he'll be staying now I believe. Well...He was going to be late coming home...so we'd have to go to school without him.

We parked up and got out of the car. Edward would arrive in a few seconds...he would wait in the woods...I would ignore him, he clearly didn't want to be spoken to at this time. There'd be plenty of time to gloat. Better, I think, to give him time for his new acknowledged love to settle in. He'd want to wait and speak to Bella anyway... I could wait. I heard and smelt him arrive behind me. Rose and Emmett were having one of their moments again and noticed nothing. Jazz noticed, but I had warned him to leave Edward be.

I sat in my seat, prepared for another day of high school. Bella would arrive any second...and Edward would go and talk to her. Still fighting an internal battle, stay or leave? He was sure that leaving Bella to her future was the decent thing to do, yet he also knew it wouldn't be fair to go and leave the rest of us to fight his battles for him, but he was finally agreeing that he was not strong enough to leave her. What. Are. You. Thinking. Edward? Inviting her to go to Seattle with you? You and her in a car together? Alone? Lord give me strength...Oh great! He has a new plan! He can't leave her...so why not make her leave him. Yes! That's going to work...Oh, honestly, Edward! You love her, need her. Deal with it, won't you! I want my best friend already! When will he give up on his little façades and accept the future? Well...I'd get my friend soon enough...