Why I own over 500 DVDs

People always ask me, and I often ask myself, why I own over 500 DVDs. It's a rather tough question to answer. Most normal people don't own over 500 DVDs. Why would they? It's kind of crazy. But tonight, I'm able to answer that question with razor-like precision. I can answer that question with an rationale that cannot be questioned. And the answer is this.

Because, tonight, I wanted to watch 'American Psycho'.

The answer, of course, could have just as easily been, 'because I wanted to watch 'Kung Fu Hustle' or 'because I wanted to watch 'City of the Living Dead'', or 'Meet The Feebles'. The answer could have been, 'because I want to watch any one of the over 500 DVDs I own'. If I wanted to watch 'Evil Dead: The Musical', I could have. Or the documentary 'Final Cut: The Making of Heaven's Gate and the Film That Sank United Artists'. Or the made for 1977 NBC Special, 'Legends of the Superheroes'.

I can watch any of the over 500 DVDs I own whenever I want. And that's why I own them.

Tomorrow night I may want to watch 'Primer' or 'The Filth and the Fury' or 'The Life Aquatic'. Next Wednesday I may want to watch 'Fear of a Black Hat'. And I can. Because, in my office, in my DVD racks, I own every last one of them. I own 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' and 'Beyond the Valley of the Dolls'. I own 'Godzilla vs. Destroyah' and 'Hudson Hawk'. I own 13 David Lynch movies and 10 Dario Argento movies. I also own the unreleased 'Fantastic Four' movie made by Roger Corman's Concorde Pictures and the workprints of 'Fight Club', ''Howard Stern's Private Parts' and 'Apocalypse Now', each featuring scenes, subplots and characters not featured in the theatrical release versions.

In fact, if I want... maybe next month, I can watch Quentin Tarantino's first film, the movie he made before 'Reservoir Dogs', called 'My Best Friend's Wedding'.

And because of that. I'm happy. Because of that, every time I sit at my computer, like I'm doing right now, and look to my left... I feel gratitude for every DVD purchase I've ever made.

Tonight, while watching 'American Psycho' for the third or fourth time, I finally 'got it'. That's a big deal for me. Patrick Bateman's descent into paranoid delusion at the conclusion of Mary Harron's satire of 80's consumerism and identity always confounded me. Did Patrick imagine his earlier murders? Were they in his mind? Was he indeed even Patrick Bateman?

The answers are no, no and yes.

And there's a lot more going on, too. Just as I always knew, but never really understood.

I do now. And I'm happy for that. And I'm happy for owning the Uncut Blu-ray Special Edition, because tonight, that's what I wanted to watch.