A gentle breeze rustles the palm fronds above me as I stretch out on the sunlounger and feel the warmth slowly seeping into my cold winter bones. I polish my sunglasses and squint at the sweeping crescent of golden sand washed by an impossibly blue ocean.

"This is the life," sighs my sister as she sips a cocktail on the adjacent lounger. I find myself humming the chorus to Wham's Club Tropicana – "fun and sunshine, there's enough for everyone" – which is odd, because we're not in a tropical paradise. We're in Dymchurch. In November.

Thankfully, this is not the latest shocking example of global warming. I'm staying at a quirky new holiday home on the Kent coast which comes with a unique selling point: en suite sunshine, 365 days a year.

The owner of the Beach Sun Retreat, Karl Emanuelsson, works for the UK distributor of Real Sunlight, a Swedish innovation that replicates natural sunlight. But this is no souped-up tanning salon. Most of the harmful UVA and UVB rays have been filtered out so if you're looking for a teak-effect tan you'll need to look elsewhere, but the technology promises a range of health benefits, from relieving arthritis and eczema to treating seasonal affective disorder.

Karl has created a little slice of St Tropez on this unglamorous stretch of coast, and it comes complete with potted palms (albeit fake), soothing waterfall feature and a floor-to-ceiling mural of an idyllic beach scene.

But unlike on a real beach, where the sun is always slightly too hot, or the breeze slightly too brisk, or the wasps won't leave your pina colada alone, here, at the touch of a remote control, you can create the perfect microclimate. Choose your setting – Miami, Mauritius or Bali for a sunrise, sunset or full sunshine effect – set the temperature and timer, switch on the fan for a cooling breeze, close your eyes and drift away to the sounds of waves lapping the shore (courtesy of an ambient CD).

And if that sounds slightly surreal, it is. Surreal but, thanks to the good taste of Karl's wife Rohini, who was in charge of the decor, always just on the right side of kitsch. The "sun therapy" area is in fact just one corner of a huge, light-filled, open-plan living and dining room which is decked out like an upmarket beach club, in cool blues and whites, with white sofas, driftwood furniture, a proper bar, fabulous swinging cocoon chair and DJ decks with state-of-the-art speakers and ambient lighting.

The retreat takes up the ground floor of an old beachfront hotel which Karl and Rohini bought two years ago and are in the process of restoring, floor by floor. Housed in a huge timber-clad building, parts of which date back to the 17th century, this is clearly a major project but it's been done with huge flair and generosity – even if you never went near the sunlamps, this is a fantastic and quirky place to stay.

The bedrooms are kitted out in decadent style, with huge beds, chandeliers, ornate fireplaces and five-star bathrooms with a roll-top bath, walk-in showers and underfloor heating. There's a commercial-spec kitchen – a legacy from the building's former life as a hotel – a cinema room complete with vintage velvet cinema seats and popcorn machine, and a garden with huge fish pond, fountain and trampoline, just a pebble's throw from the sandy beach.

Currently the house sleeps just six, but when the restoration is complete a further six bedrooms will be available on the upper floors. Karl says he would eventually like to market the place as a health retreat but I can't help thinking he's created the ultimate beach party pad, perfect for a small gathering of friends or family.

Step outside, however, and the Club Tropicana vibe is instantly blasted away by a gust of icy wind whipping straight off the Channel. Waves crash against the concrete sea defences, the colour of which matches the sky, and the only people on the promenade are a handful of dog walkers.

British seaside resorts can be notoriously downbeat in winter, and Dymchurch is no exception. On a Sunday in November it feels a bit like a ghost town – the shops and cafes shut, the only signs of life coming from the small amusement arcade and funfair. We buy fish and chips and hurry gratefully back to the warm and sunny embrace of the Beach Sun Retreat, gladly swapping scarfs and hats for shorts and sunglasses.

• The Beach Sun Retreat (holidaylettings.co.uk, or call Karl on 07830 182380) sleeps up to six and costs from £1,200 to £2,500 a week. Short breaks are also available

Walk-in light sculpture, London

PR

A new light installation from American artist James Yamada on show at the Foundation for Contemporary Art is designed to banish the winter blues. Entitled The Summer Shelter Retreats Darkly Among the Trees, it's the first in a series of outdoor artworks on the theme of "winter light". Visitors will be encouraged to enjoy the health benefits of exposure to bright light during the darkest months of the year by sitting inside the aluminium sculpture under light elements set to the intensity commonly used to treat seasonal affective disorder. •Foundation for Contemporary Art, 14 Wharf Road, London N1 (020-7490 7373, parasol-unit.org). Until 18 March. Admission free

Butterfly Farm, Warwickshire

It's hard to think of a better antidote to a grey winter's day than a stroll through the landscaped tropical greenhouses of Stratford-upon-Avon Butterfly Farm. More than 250 species of butterfly can be seen flying freely and feeding on the many exotic flowers and plants. There are waterfalls, fish-filled ponds and a caterpillar room, and cockatiels, parrots and a South American iguana complete the colourful spectacle. Look out for regular family events and workshops which allow children to get up close and personal with the insects.•butterflyfarm.co.uk. Adults £6.25, children £5.25, under-3s free

Thai spa, Hampshire

A little slice of Thailand in the heart of the New Forest, SenSpa at Careys Manor hotel offers eastern-inspired treatments and ambience. Sun-starved guests can thaw out in the hydrotherapy pool, herbal sauna, scented tropical showers and a tepidarium, before treating themselves to a 90-minute Thai massage or warming body wrap. The Zen Garden restaurant is exotically styled with gold murals, bamboo and tropical plants, and offers authentic Thai cuisine.•Lyndhurst Road, Brockenhurst (01590 623551, careysmanor.com). Spa days, half-day, evening and overnight spa packages are available. A one-night spa break including full use of the spa facilities, a mind and body class, and two-course Thai lunch, costs from £175pp based on two sharing

Moroccan cookery, Cumbria

Let your tastebuds transport you to the souks and sun-drenched landscapes of Morocco at an exotic one-day cookery workshop. Lucy Cook'scorrect cookery school in Stavely in the Lake District runs a range of classes covering everything from Italian to Indian cuisine. But for the winter months, the spice-infused tagines and pastries of the Maghreb could be just what the doctor ordered. •Mill Yard, Staveley, Kendal (015394 32288; lucycooks.co.uk). The one-day Taste of Morocco workshop takes place is on 7 December and costs, £135pp

Caribbean weekend, Alton Towers, Staffordshire

The theme park will bring a taste of the tropics to winter weekends with its Caribbean packages. On designated weekends, guests at the Splash Landings Hotel will enjoy steel bands, limbo dancing competitions, magic shows and carnivals. The package includes accommodation, breakfast and entrance to the tropical waterpark, with its slides, flumes and water rides.•Caribbean weekends 27–28 January, 24–25 February and 16–17 March cost from £27.50pp based on four sharing (0871 360 2030, alton-towers-breaks.com)