Even Your Strongest And Happiest Friend Is Probably Struggling With Something

Recently, my friend and I had a heart to heart moment, and something she said really stuck with me.

Let me give you a little background about my friend first. I have known for over a year now and we have been pretty close. We are part of the same group of friends, so we hang out together all the time. She is the strongest person I have ever met in my life. She is so outspoken and will always stand up for herself. I have never seen tears in her eyes before that night. She always describes her family life as much fun and loving, and she never ever showed any major problem in her life. She is someone that I want to be like, so bold and strong.

But, that night, hearing her story literally broke me down. I saw tears in her eyes for the first time. Her voice cracking up as she continued to speak. I just couldn't hold myself together. The girl, who I thought had such a perfect life and who was genuinely happy with the way everything was, someone I looked up to, was not content with her life as she had so many things going on.

We talked a lot that night about things happening in both of our lives and we shared things that we had never said aloud. From that whole heartful conversation, one thing she said really stuck with me and affected me a lot: "Fake it until you make it."

I have always heard that phrase in different places and different stories. But this was the first time someone in my life had said it and I could understand and feel the true meaning of the phrase.

Everyone has a story they don't share

Everyone has a battle that they are fighting in their life, whether they share it or not. No one's life is perfect in any way. And, what you see isn't always the truth. They are so many escapes that people have. Some people fake their smiles and bubbly personalities to get through the day to go home and cry themselves to sleep.parents at night. That girl who doesn't reply to her texts after 10 p.m. because she is lame and sleeps so early may be laying in bed hoping sleep can be her escape. Or even that kid who just stays in his room all day and doesn't want to make friends may be fighting with anxiety. You never know what is going on in someone's life because a lot of people do not share their pain.

Stop judging

It's so natural for us to talk about other people. We casually sit around with our friends and someone says "Did you know what she did?" or "Can you believe she actually said that?" or even "Yo, did you see that couple?" It's human nature to judge someone who doesn't stick to society's norms or does something perceived as not right in our minds. But we do not know their feelings or thoughts behind their actions. So, we need to stop judging others. It's OK to think that someone's actions or words are not correct, but you should not sit there and just make conclusions on people. Let just people live their lives on their own, and you so the same.

It is just so upsetting to realize that so many people around us are hurting and faking it until they make it, and we don't even know it. Just let's just all try not to judge others and try to be nice to everyone.

Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!