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Now, despite her wrinkles and middle-age spread, she "dates" a multitude of guys. "We don't go places together; they sometimes buy lunch but just as often they don't. Actually, that's a euphemism; we have sex." With a lover whose bad back has him on the injured reserve list, Anna knows what to do: click on "Casual Encounters" and start the e-mail banter that almost always leads to a meeting.

"I don't have a boyfriend," she says, "I have a team roster."Lily and Anna are not our real names, but then you probably knew that was coming.

There were forgettable ones too, like the alcoholic art dealer, or the guy who excused himself in the middle of sex to smoke a cigarette.

And there have been multiple-partner dates, which involved average-looking East Bay residents who swing, tie up, dominate, submit, and spank. Some of the lovemaking was wonderful, a lot of it was initially awkward but got better as time went on, and some of it was downright disastrous.

It was a virtually sexless union for 10 years before a therapist helped her come to her senses and move on.

Lily never married and spent most of her life caring for an ill parent who died recently.

Upending the notion of "Casual Encounters" -- as Craigslist dubs its "Just Looking to Get Laid Tonight" category -- we both discovered that casual sex is anything but.

Years before embarking on Craigslist, both of us had experienced sexual abandonment.It takes a woman about a thousand words and a condom to get laid on Craigslist.But for a woman to be laid properly -- by a passionate lover who knows what he's doing -- well, that's a whole different ball game.Emerging from a stale and sexless marriage, she would do things her way this time around.Lily turned to the free Craigslist personals because didn't want to spend any money getting laid. She was open to every person and every experience -- even Republicans, as long as they could kiss.

Sometimes we just coordinated the logistics of the hookup, but equally often, we wrote and received profoundly intimate and revealing letters -- an epistolary of erotic stories.