The Hanging Shad’s ‘Apropos of Nothing’

1. Oops, they did it again. I am having a defibrillator installed in my apartment. My New England Patriots took me from joy to dread to joy. Que the haters.

2. Silent night…Benz night. Each year I get less and less aggravated by the little things around the holidays. However, commercials that highjack seasonal songs remain a major pet peeve.

Let’s start with Honda and the fingers-on-the-chalk-board use of “Holiday Road” from the classic “Vacation” movies.

Then there was the use of the beautiful and relgious “Silent Night” by Mercedes Benz. That’s right, “Silent night, holy night” is replaced by a nice, quiet Benz.

3. Good thing this vehicle can turn around. We should also be very grateful that if you own a Buick and get the wrong kind of cake for the baby shower, you can actually turn around, go back, and get the right one. Whew.

4. Drunk, happy Santa v. Sad Santa. It was a contrast in Santas this past weekend as we went to two holiday events in two nights and boy, the Santas couldn’t have been different. At a party thrown by a local community magazine, Santa arrived with a reindeer and an elf. Santa was a happy guy—to the point where party-goers (particularly the women) may have been very uncomfortable. The reindeer clearly spent too much time at the pre-party, eggnog salt lick.

But I’ll take happy, near-inappropriate Santa over the very sad-sack Santa at the Christmas at Fenway event we went to on Saturday. We simply said “Hello, Santa” to him before he launched into a tale of woe about his (personal, not Santa) life. He was an elected official in some local town (he wouldn’t say where) but said, “They threw me out because I wasn’t politically correct.” That was just the beginning. It was one of those situations in which one looks for an opening in a conversation to say, “Thanks, Santa! Merry Christmas.” Why you bringin’ me down, Santa?

5. “Fire truck…fancy napkins…curling…cannabis.” These stories always amaze me. A very serious press conference is held and someone shows up as the sign language interpreter who doesn’t know sign language.