Saturday, March 17, 2018

People often resist the path of pressure that will augment
healing. It stands to reason, healing costs. There is a pain involved in
resolving pain, as Henri Nouwen (1932–1996) famously said:

“Somewhere we
know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening
speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure.”

There is a price to be paid for redemption. In Nouwen’s economy,
words, speaking advice, and ongoing proximity have their limits.

He speaks of a truth here that is necessary on the journey of
healing. He speaks about liminal space — that divergence from logic where faith
takes the reins from reason, where reason throws its hands up in defeat, and
faith says, ‘game on’, where less is more.

There are times when we have to venture into discomfort to
release the grip fear has made on us. These times in therapy are the awkward
silences where the heart processes what the mind cannot contemplate.

Where the mind is confounded and overwhelmed, beyond its ability
to conjure a fabricated defence, the heart must rise, and it ascends
courageously as only the heart can, other than shrink.

When we allow our minds to endure such discomfort as the awkwardness
of knowing we’re without defence, our hearts rise ultimately on the wings of
honesty. The truth wins. And healing begins.

If we would help someone recover from pain, we might imagine the
way through is via uncomfortable allegiances with the truth. If we, ourselves,
are ailing, we do well to steel ourselves for the inevitable cost of the
breakthrough.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

When I’m vulnerable my psychology
sits atop a knife’s edge; I either progress to repentance or topple into
resentment. And it’s people who just happen to benefit or pay.

I am as prone to rejection as the
next person, and I don’t buy it when people say they aren’t. There are people
who exist in a safe bubble of acceptance which says even more about the power
of rejection in their lives.

The continuum of acceptance and
rejection is possibly the most powerful force. And it all begins in the mind; a
mind responding to what the heart feels.

I can tell you that when I’ve felt
most vulnerable, I have been most susceptible to rejecting others. When I’ve
felt rejected, I’ve tended to respond by rejecting. When I’ve felt accepted,
the vulnerable feelings vanish, and acceptance is easy. There is one poignant
example where this is rife: in those who have influence over me; a power I have
given them. I could be much less susceptible to a person’s rejection if they
have no influence on me or power over me, but as soon as they do I have to
admit susceptibility. I do not consider those I serve as those who have
influence on me or power over me.

It’s those I look up to who I
perceive don’t accept me who I’m liable to reject in response to their
rejection.

The mind fights to be accepted, and
the heart battles for love. Where there is acceptance and feelings of love,
there is safety and wellbeing.

Acknowledge the drive for acceptance
in others. Accept everyone as they are and experience less rejection.

Monday, March 12, 2018

My challenge is to compile 10,000 Reasons for my gratitude to
God for His goodness. It commenced on January 22. This fifth thousand spans the
days of March 3 to 12, 2018. My first thousand can be found here. My second thousand can be found here. My third thousand can be found here. My fourth thousand can be found here.

Here is my fifth thousand…

2 / 3 March
2018

4001.Nothing like a start the day before

4002.For a sober reflection on how I’m
interacting with people

4003.That we developed a ramp system for
my son to use

4004.For the push-ups and curls I
managed to get done

4005.For poise to resist anger in the
disciplining of a four-year-old

4006.For the purpose in me that chips away
at the tasks at hand

4007.The incredible blessing of an earlier night than
expected

4008.Waking easily at 4.10 AM to start the work day extra
early

4009.Air, fuel and oil, with coffee, all before 5 AM

4010.For the way a smile alleviated anxiety in the one who
served me

4011.Simply the quiet of morning

4012.For the message from my principal clarifying the tasks
ahead

4013.A difficult first assignment to retrieve a shoe 15 feet
deep on a roof accomplished with the correct tools

4014.Just that beautiful perfect autumn breeze and the oft
tweeting of birds going about their business

4015.That I know now that the passage of the day is assured

4016.That confidence is an inside job

4017.That I found a towel I had forgotten about

4018.For the five balls I found on the roof

4019.For the help I can give my daughter today

4020.For the news overnight

4021.That I am heartfelt excited for people who have their
babies even though we lost ours

4022.For the comfort my wife and I are for each other

4023.For thoughts and prayers I have for dear friends who
are struggling on the marital journey

4024.That the moon is full on the horizon at 6:44 AM

4025.For the breakfast radio interview with an interesting
photography guest

4026.That I could drive past the old house and reminisce

4027.For the poise I had in making a blunder

4028.For reminders of how much I still had to learn about
life in my twenties

4029.For the bliss in the idea that I’m a living being

4030.For the privilege of serving a family member and
listening at the same time

4031.For the duty I have to help a daughter out – with her
home, doing things fathers do

4032.For the chat that took place about a key component of
my daughter’s life

4033.That she felt supported by me today

4034.For the help I got at the hardware warehouse

4035.For the patience I showed in being led to the wrong
aisle – it was aisle 17, not 16, close yet so far away! – it’s not the end of
the world

4036.That the stress of finding things in the warehouse
finished – I was on my way

4037.That, at arriving at work, I was on task – I had a lot
to do in two hours

4038.That I got everything done I could
reasonably finish

4039.Again, it strikes me that
frustration precedes relief

4040.For space, finally

4041.That gratitude is not natural – it
often requires a refocus

4042.To know that many competing
pressures for my time makes gratitude impossible, but for choice

4043.For the fact that everyone turned
up to our housewarming event/wife’s birthday

4044.To see daughter number three

4045.For the sound of water on plants

4046.That I got to play cricket with my
son

4047.That we got to see family today
that we don’t see all that often

4048.That everyone got on

4049.For opportunities for rest however
fleeting

4050.That God urged me to keep going

4051.That my son keeps a portfolio of
all his ‘messages’ – he likes to preach like Grandad