WHEREIN, I, THE REAL AND PROPER CHARLES CARREON, ESQ. SPEAK UPON THE CHARACTER OF CHRISTOPHER RECOUVREUR AND COMPANY, RAPEUTATIONISTS ALL (THE POEM IS NOT VERY LONG AS THERE IS NOT MUCH CHARACTER OF WHICH TO SPEAK)by Anonymous [*]

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Greetings, keyboard warriors! I am Charles Carreon,And I endorse this message: “Search and Destroy”Because I’m a neighborhood threat to your internet.You couldn’t be less educated and more uninformedIf you tried. And if you did, any sensible personWould see that your efforts, your sweat was for naught.

You say I’m a bully. Well, fuck yes, I am. How, oh,How do you think I’ve done well as a litigator for 25Or so years? Did you think I made a living being Nice as pie in court to scum? Or did you think, perhaps,That lawyers who get results somehow must be badPeople, ipso facto? No, you’re just daft and dreary.

Some asshat who pretends to the Art of Parody In a high style that is without style, though the authorMay indeed be high, Dear Christopher Recouvreur,Slaves at his work computer posting mini-missivesIn a style no rational person could say resembles anyOf my many styles. Go fix the spill on aisle five.

And you, one-trick lawyer whose little painted wagonOf a career rides on a very small body of law thatAllows creatures like Chris, who have never done any-Thing of note since birth, who over-populate the earth,To soar on the wings of mine own genius, my work,My art, my skill and learning. Soon you’ll be burning.

And amid all the hell-fire churning will be the lotOf other rapeutationists who once hid behind soft-Ware bought from the Orient in order to defame andAbuse for the sake of defamation and abuse. Perhaps,Just perhaps, their parents threatened to turn off theirInternet connections if they didn’t do SOME fucking thing?

Oh Christopher, the lights the lights are calling! Go,Go gentle into that good light that will obliterate youAnd your dreadful prose, its horrid repetitions, mis-Spellings, grammatical errors, syntactical flaws, still-Born running gags in ruinous words that won’t helpYou get a job doing your shit doodling for a living.

Was your lil mock-up website an attempt to get a jobFrom ol’ Matty Unman? You’d do better to fly up To Seattle, don your best hipster douchebag kit, Prepare your ass to get filled as Unman goes in dry,Filling your rectum with his rank jism only to discardYou like so much diaper contents dumped on aisle five.

Christopher, I’m so sorry to hear that your limitedMind can’t comprehend that a victory in court in 1999Doesn’t qualify as “recent.” I refer to my litigation -Epic win! - of the sex.com case. According to thoseWith minds like yours, the last amendment to theConstitution in 1992 happened in 1879. Oh my.

And because you don’t understand the nature ofIntellectual property, you have to get another creepFar more intelligent to you, but still operating at Roughly thirty watts of brightness, in order to pleadYour noble suit to use my reputation in order to furtherYour own. A reputation you could never, will never, have!

If you were to live a thousand lifetimes stocking shelves,Emptying the heroin needles from the restroom at Walgreens, compacting cardboard boxes, and, mostLikely, berating your few unfortunate subordinates,You would rise no higher than the pubic hair of a rat.You are, and will remain, nobody to anyone of import.

Which leads me to these final words for you, so suiting:“Christopher Recouvrer passed recently in a basementApartment face down in a bowl of ramen and tears.Let it be known no one in recent memory has done,Said or been so little to or for humanity. Well, you know,At least since 1999. Send money to cover his legal bills.”

_______________

Notes:

* DECLARATION OF NON-AUTHORSHIP

by Charles Carreon

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the United States of America that I did not write the poem entitled "WHEREIN, I, THE REAL AND PROPER CHARLES CARREON, ESQ. SPEAK UPON THE CHARACTER OF CHRISTOPHER RECOUVREUR AND COMPANY, RAPEUTATIONISTS ALL (THE POEM IS NOT VERY LONG AS THERE IS NOT MUCH CHARACTER OF WHICH TO SPEAK)."