Archives for June 2009

When I first considered whether I wanted three children, I was terrified. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to cope. Two kids are great, because mum and dad can hold one each. Not to mention, I have two hands to hold each kid.

But what happens when there are THREE kids?

I would sometimes see a mother with three or four children – walking to school, in the shops, getting in and out of the car… and I think “My goodness, how does she do it???”

Those mothers were truly super-mums in my eyes.

So the other day I had a kind of epiphany.

I was dropping my two big boys off at their school. It was pouring with rain, it was windy, and the air was really cold. I parked the car. I got out of the car and stood in the rain. The car park was full of cars, kids, parents, puddles – it was utter madness.

There I was, holding a baby in one arm, two school bags in the other arm. I had my head crooked to one side so I could hold my own open umbrella under my chin, while trying to keep the baby dry. The boys were also standing in the pouring rain, in a huge puddle, with water soaking into their socks, enjoying the novelty of rain and trying to open their umbrellas.

I was shouting “PAY ATTENTION, WE’RE ON A ROAD! DON’T SPLASH THE PUDDLES! DON’T OPEN THE UMBRELLA TOO CLOSE TO THE CAR! DON’T POKE YOUR BROTHER IN THE EYE! STOP SWINGING YOUR UMBRELLA AROUND! DON’T STAND TOO FAR OUT ON THE ROAD!” as I used my knee to herd the boys away from the zooming cars.

I was so stressed. I stood there… and I could feel my blood boil with frustration. I was going to explode. THIS IS SO HARD!! THIS IS CRAZY!! I’M GOING CRAZY!!

I had a moment of insanity.

Then a thought flashed through my head – Oh. I see. This is how THOSE MOTHERS DO IT. WITH PLAIN HARD WORK.

I quickly realised that it probably didn’t have to be so hard. I needed to calm my nerves. I just had to do things slowly. Maybe adopt a slightly more positive attitude. And stick with what was important at that very moment. Which was, crossing the road.

Rain? Puddles? It’s just water right?

So, oh well, the baby got a bit wet. My hair got soaked. The school bags were drenched. The boys looked like they just had a shower. And I’m sure we’re all going to get a cold by the end of the week. Ah well.

As we approached the classroom, one of my boys looked up at me with big happy eyes and said, “Whoa, I feel like I’ve been in a washing machine!” And I actually laughed.

Later on that afternoon, I thought about this whole “super-mummy with three kids” thing.

We’re not THAT SUPER. We’ve just gotten used to the hard work, the juggling, the busy-ness and being organised.

It’s not glamorous, but it’s life.

And learning how to love it, is perhaps the most super thing about it.

For my second boy, Sean, I selected a blue Trendy Tee, with a picture of Sean Connery on it.

He didn’t quite get the joke, and wondered why HE didn’t get a t-shirt with HIS name on it too. So I had to explain who Sean Connery was, what secret agents were, and how subtle humour can be much funnier than normal humour. He seemed pretty happy with it after that.

When I was 11, I LOVED New Kids On The Block. That’s right. It was true love.

I loved their songs, the way they dressed, the way they danced, their hair, their voices, their smiles. I read up about their songs, their producer, their backgrounds, which American states they were from, their siblings, the name of their pets. I collected posters and stuck them up all over my wall. I collected magazine snippets from every girl magazine available, and kept them in a neat scrapbook.

I didn’t have enough money to buy their CDs, so I taped their songs off the radio. I would wait up each night to record which ever top 10 song was playing, immediately after the previous night’s songs, so I could listen to all their songs over and over and over again.

It was always so tricky to rewind the tape back and forwards, record the song, then stop the tape just in time, so that I didn’t record the DJ’s voice or the radio ads.

Amongst all my day dreaming about them, no one explained to me AND it never occurred to me… that I could actually meet New Kids On The Block IN REAL LIFE. I mean, these guys weren’t like real people. They were completely unattainable. They were far, far, far beyond my reach and imagination. It was clearly an impossible thought.

By the time I was 14, I grew out of the New Kids phase. In fact, I was very embarrassed that I had been so utterly infatuated with them. So I trashed all my posters, clippings and tapes. I scoffed at anyone who liked their songs. And they became the epitome of all that was uncool, cringe-worthy, and rejected childishness in my life.

And now, it’s been 19 years later, and I’m 30.

It’s funny how age and time has the ability to project you above issues of the past.

I feel I’ve come full circle. I’m happy to revisit the things of my childhood. And I’m not embarrassed about that phase in my life at all. I actually think it’s quite charming, in an enriching kind of way. It’s made me who I am. And I’m completely cool with it.

When I heard they were coming to Australia, it took me 2 seconds to decide that YUP, I was happy to pay hundreds of dollars to go see them! After all, it was an unfulfilled dream of mine, right? And they seemed to scrub up quite well. Plus it would be very entertaining to see thousands of other women in their 30s, all reliving their teenage fantasies!

However it was all not to be. Due to the economic downturn, NKOTB had to cancel their Australian tour. I won’t get to see them in real life!

The other day I went to visit a girlfriend, who had just given birth 10 days ago. As she held her tiny baby, wrapped up in a pink bundle of blankets… I sighed at the beautiful sight of soft, squishy skin, and tiny crinkly eyes.

Then to my shock horror, I realised that the baby in my own arms WAS NOT A NEWBORN ANYMORE!

Look at him! He’s like a big monster baby compared to the fragile, helpless, kitten-like baby he used to be. What happened?!

Liam is 13 weeks old and he has discovered his hands, as you can see in the photo on the left.

I just LOVE this stage. It’s hilarious. Babies will just sit and stare at their hand, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

He’s also experimenting with his expressions. From spaced-out blurred looks, to squinty-eyed laugh-out-loud looks, to this… super-cute frowning.

All mums know that you need a huge bag to carry all your stuff. So while I try to stay away from those bright pink-polka-dot nappy bags, I tried out some large fashion bags from FashionJunkee. They worked a treat and were very affordable!

For my first two babies, I used a baby carrier, and I could not live without it. So with a bit of hesitation, this was the first time I tried a baby pouch – and I was sold. I find it to be so much easier than a carrier. I use it every day as I drop my kids off at school. I can be hands free and do heaps of stuff as I carry my bub around!

Liam is 3 months old and he’s looking a bit dazed because he just woke up.

I have been getting lots of people writing in to ask me about my weight before and after pregnancy, gaining weight, and how I have been getting back into shape etc. And I have been finding it absolutely fascinating to see THE EFFECTS OF THREE PREGNANCIES over time, age and lifestyle.

My History

When I was pregnant for the first time, I was 25 years old and 47kgs. I literally ate to my heart’s content. I gave in to any craving for junk food, meat pies, fried noodles, cheese, chocolate.

Surprisingly, I didn’t gain much throughout the pregnancy. But near the end, within a few days, my appetite grew and I suddenly put on 5kgs – and got big purple stretch marks on my tummy. (So big lesson, gradual weight gain ladies!)

In total, I gained about 15kgs (pregnancy was 38 weeks long).

After I gave birth, I breastfed, and the weight instantly melted away. It definitely had something to do with natural metabolism or genetics or SOMETHING, because I wasn’t on a vigorous exercise regime, nor did I go to the gym. However, I was an active mother, going out every day, walking, carrying baby in a sling, and pushing the pram.

The stretch marks faded to a silvery colour over time. A very, very small price to pay for having a baby! I also did a lot of pelvic floor exercises.

When I was pregnant for the second time, I was 27 years old and 45kgs. I had a much healthier lifestyle and diet this time, but I still ate as much as I liked.

Again, I gained 15kgs in total (pregnancy was 38 weeks). And again, the kilos melted away after birth, with hardly any work on my part, and the stretch marks faded to silver. I felt that I was lucky with my genes. Once again, a lot of pelvic floor exercises.

Then it was 4 years between my 2nd and 3rd children. I was not very fit. I got tired easily and had very low stamina. I did do various spurts of exercise and sports, but no regular cardio workouts, or muscle building or toning exercises.

I was slightly concerned that after four years, I still had a small JELLY BELLY – as they call it in post-pregnancy circles. Since I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight, I assumed that jelly belly is due to loss of muscle tone in the abdomen.

Now, I say “slightly concerned” because, I guess if I was VERY concerned, I would have been motivated to do something about it. And the only person in the whole world who would ever noticed was me. Once again, a very small price to pay for the joy of having TWO babies.

With my third pregnancy, I was 30 years old and 45kgs. My lifestyle and diet had never been as healthy. Throughout my pregnancy I did lots of exercise, body stretches, I ate very well, I didn’t over eat, and I practiced a LOT of self-control with my cravings.

I put on 14kgs in total (which was really good, considering I was pregnant for 2 weeks longer this time, and delivered at 40 weeks).

A week after the third birth I was 8kgs over, which is completely normal.

But now, it’s been 3 months since the birth and I’m still 3kgs over. The weight isn’t exactly “melting away” like when I was 25, and the loss of muscle tone is a lot greater, so the jelly belly is obviously a lot bigger.

In addition to all that, I don’t seem to have the same natural reservoir of energy stored up. I’m even more tired, I need more sleep, I get more headaches, and my bones and muscles actually hurt when I use them.

Yes that’s right, I’m over 30! I’m finding it harder to keep myself fit and in shape! Haha how clichéd is that? But it’s the simple truth.

Of course, the “mummy tummy” is very normal. After all, my skin and muscles were stretched out like a balloon for 9 months. If I “let it all hang out” I look 3 months pregnant.

To be completely honest with you and myself, while I LOVE being a mother, I just don’t want to have a “mummy tummy”. And I can see how this will continue to become more of a problem as time goes by. So, I am determined to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and flatten my tummy somewhat. And I have been inspired by some other mums I know who have done it.

So What to Do?

My husband and I are trying to improve our eating and lifestyle habits.

So we are eating very well – lots of raw vegetables, limiting processed carbohydrates and high-cholesterol meats, sugar and fats. However, our kids need all this stuff for their growing bodies, so they often get a different variation at meal times.

We’re including more exercise into our daily routine. For example, my husband rides his bike to the shops, instead of driving, and I walk the boys to school, pushing my newborn in the pram. This is actually great, because I get to chat with other walk-to-school mums in the park, and it doesn’t seem like work at all.

I’m also researching abdominal exercises specifically for mums, and I discovered a few fascinating facts about the mummy tummy and some simple exercises to help get me started… and I’ll share it all next time around.