(especially Huntsmans 2 minute allowance for a shit). All this would take me 2 hours tops, not including a workout. I'm slow as molasses in the morning.

8 minutes bro. Even for me, two would be pushing it. I suck in the mornings, actually. Completely worthless. Incoherent. Which is why I get up as late as possible. I have left every conceivable necessary article except pants and shoes home at one time or another. ~ H

I suck in the mornings, actually. Completely worthless. Incoherent. Which is why I get up as late as possible. I have left every conceivable necessary article except pants and shoes home at one time or another.

~ H

I am the king of two minute shits. I don't know why, but I always wait until I really have to go, and I am in and out in under 4 minutes 90% of the time.
My morning routine is:
5:45 wake up, put on shorts, shirt, and shoes, go on run.
6:30 get home, put on coffee pot, turn on computer
6:30-6:50, check email, SF, weather, drink coffee
6:50-7:00, shit shower shave (shave in shower, shit in toilet)
7:00-7:06 get dressed (only consists of chef pants, white tshirt, and shoes
7:06 leave for work
7:30 arrive at work

In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

I am the king of two minute shits. I don't know why, but I always wait until I really have to go, and I am in and out in under 4 minutes 90% of the time. My morning routine is: 5:45 wake up, put on shorts, shirt, and shoes, go on run. 6:30 get home, put on coffee pot, turn on computer 6:30-6:50, check email, SF, weather, drink coffee 6:50-7:00, shit shower shave (shave in shower, shit in toilet) 7:00-7:06 get dressed (only consists of chef pants, white tshirt, and shoes 7:06 leave for work 7:30 arrive at work

Seriously? How do you shit, shower, and shave in only 10 minutes? Each of these activities alone would take me 10 minutes easy.

people are forgetting the effects of age - I can't shit in less than 10 minutes now. it takes me time to get moving at all in the morning. my clock goes off at 6, I can hardly get to my car (to go to the gym) by 6:10. probrably 5 minutes of that is spent staring into space until I can get moving.

- Wake up quick, at about noon
- Go to compton
- get drunk before the day begins (before my momma starts bitchin about my friends)
- Cruise down the street in my six-four (crank the alpine - new shit by NWA)
- Jock the bitches, slap some hoes
- Go to the park, get the scoop
- Shoot some hoops with some knuckleheads
- Go to a spot where my homeboys chill
- They greet me wit a 40 and i start drinkin & from the 8 ball my breath starts stinkin
- Go get my girl to rock that body (Made sure to hit the bacardi)
- Went to her house to get her out of the pad
- Dumb hoe usually says somethin that makes me mad
- Grab the stupid bitch by her nappy-ass weave & reached back like a pimp and slap the hoe
- Her father jumps up and starts to shout - i threw a right cross and knocked his old-ass out

I usually hate mornings, unless I wake up next to a hot girl and don't have to be anywhere for a while. But seriously, I prefer to take my time. No energy or coordination for workouts unless it's maybe some light stretching and stuff.. I usually wake up at least 90 minutes before I have to leave the house and mope around, watch the news, surf the net, eventually take a shower, drink some coffee/tea (don't eat in the morning) and leave. Mornings are definitely my me-time.

0500 wake up, put on gymclothes and shoes, quickly mix N.O. Xplode drink and get to elevator down to the building gym.0510 by this time, I'm at the gym and starting the workout. I do a concentrated abs workout I took from a mens health a while back, one bodypart workout (chest one day, biceps the next, back another day, etc.) and between 15 and 18 minutes of cardio on a machine (20 would be even better). I figure i really need to burn over 200 calories to be worthwhile.0610 by this time, I am back at the apt and am forced to help walk the dogs. Takes at least 15 minutes.0635 in the shower, shave, get dressed.0710 or 0715 I need to be getting out the door to make the drive to work.

Quit sexing yourself in the shower. That'll save you a few minutes so'z you can eat a bowl of corn bran and sip your Sanka or whatever.

In the morning if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.

After I remove the ice pack, I use a Deep Pore Cleanser Lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub.

(Out of the shower)

Then I apply an herb mint facial mask which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out, and makes you look older.

Then moisturiser, then an anti-ageing eye balm, followed by a final moisturising protective lotion.