The men go way back, and you may recall their conversations about “piece of ass” Ivanka Trump on Stern’s show, so the self-proclaimed King of All Media had many notes on Trump’s primetime performance: Skip the teleprompter, work on the “heavy breathing” and stop with the spray tan. (“I never saw him this orange or with those rings around his eyes.”) But while Stern said he expected Trump’s speech to be “full of s***,” it topped his expectations.

After saying “there’s no crisis” at the U.S.-Mexico border, Stern went on to talk about Trump’s proposed border wall — which is behind the ongoing partial government shutdown — saying it won’t solve any of the country’s immigration problems. He brushed it off as being just a campaign tactic that “morons can get behind.”

“The wall’s a problem because it’s a waste of money, even Donald knows that,” Stern said. “You gotta know Donald a bit to understand what’s going on here. The wall’s a simplistic answer to our problems with immigration. It’s something that, you know, morons can get behind because they’re like, ‘Oh, yeah, if you build a wall no one can get over it.’ But it’s not that simple.”

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Howard Stern had a lot to say about President Trump and his proposed border wall. (Photo: Getty Images)

Stern said Trump’s demand of $5.7 billion in funding for the wall — a wall he originally said Mexico would pay for — wouldn’t even cover the cost of the proposed wall.

“You’re talking about building a massive wall across this country on the southern border,” Stern continued. “It’s a tremendous amount of property and a tremendous amount of area to cover. You’re not going to get a whole wall for $5 billion. If you really want a wall, it’s probably going to cost you some trillions of dollars.”

He said Trump isn’t being “straight up” with Americans. Stern said he should have come on and said, “‘F*** this, I’m not going to bulls*** you guys. I want $20 billion.”

While Stern admitted that he’s “all about keeping f***ing illegal aliens out because it’s f***ing not fair — it’s not fair to people who apply legally,” he added, “At the same point, you can’t be hypocritical and be hiring illegal aliens,” referring to undocumented immigrants reportedly working at Trump’s golf resort in New Jersey.

Stern also talked about how drugs are coming “into our ports” versus just from over the southern border, and he pointed out that Trump’s shutdown over not getting his wall is making security in the country even weaker.

“Right now we don’t even have air traffic controllers being paid,” Stern pointed out. “Talk about a lack of security. If I’m a terrorist, I’m coming in now. I bet you they’re flooding in while this government shutdown is going on.”

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Donald and Melania Trump sit next to Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky at a New York Knicks game in 2005. (Photo: Getty Images)

“Even Donald’s not into this wall. It’s just he’s embarrassed because he can’t get it, and Rush Limbaugh shamed him,” he said, adding, “The whole concept of the wall got him elected. A lot of people could wrap their brain around it. But the wall ain’t going to solve s***. And it’s going to cost a fortune. Come on, it’s nonsense. It’s just nonsense.”

Stern said that Trump doesn’t consult him anymore, though. “I got it figured out, but nobody talks to me. Donald doesn’t call me anymore because I didn’t vote for him.”

And lest you think Stern was only critical of Trump, he also also criticized House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer’s on-camera rebuttal to Trump’s address. Stern said they looked like “vampires” onscreen and “need media training.” He called their use of a teleprompter “a drag,” saying, “Just talk from the heart.” He said he hopes they watch their performance back and are “mortified” over it.