Saturday, January 30, 2016

Saturday

(Hillary Clinton is a liar and a pig.)

Yesterday, I made rice omelets for dinner. I cooked the meal using liberal amounts of salt and bacon grease. My eldest son raved about the taste. He ate every last morsel on his plate. I'm the king of rice. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I completed season seven of Mad Men. I have no complaints. Pete gets a gig working for Lear Jet. He brings his ex-wife Trudy along for the ride. Meanwhile, Roger Sterling runs away with Megan's French-Canadian oversexed mother. But Don takes the cake. He hangs out with hippies in California and goes on to create a famous Coke commercial. Don's an ad-man till the bitter end. If you love drama, then Mad Men is a must.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for my many blessings. My children are smart and healthy. Plus we are wealthy enough to eat meat. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Congo.

I went to bed at 12 a.m. I had a vivid dream. I was on a bus sitting next to UFC tough guy Josh Barnett. The mountain road was treacherous, and I gripped his arm fearfully. Later, we stopped at a tourist trap. Donald Trump was there giving interviews, but he wouldn't talk to me. I was very disappointed.

I woke up at 10 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Many married women in North Korea cheat on their spouses in order to make extra money. The husbands are OK with this arrangement because the family needs to eat. Ironically, the reclusive nation forbids divorce any under circumstances. I live on a strange peninsula.

I turned on CNN. Hillary Clinton was caught in yet another lie. Her email scandal is the gift that keeps on giving. It turns out that twelve of the messages she shared over her private server are labeled top secret by the State Department. This woman's a dishonest pig. Nevertheless, she might be our next president. I just don't get it.