Two Wieners and an Olive

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Good evening friends. Mom finally let me back on the computer! I thought I would follow up on her last few posts and her journey as a single lady. Of course I still don't understand why she thinks she needs anyone other than me, Bella, me, Olive and again ME!

As a reminder I'm Bob, but if we haven't met, you can call me Robert. Bob is reserved for friends and family. Now I'm a dachshund and if you know anything about dachshunds you know we like to bark. Some who know me may say I bark more than normal or more than necessary, I of course disagree. I find myself to be a fantastic judge of character, so if you plan on coming to visit my house, and YES it is MY house (I'm the only male you know!), you best be glad I'm only barking because oh the things I would share if I could speak in human talk. But for a few pointers let me translate some of my language for you.

1) Continuos barking at you- I DON'T LIKE YOU, PLEASE LEAVE MY HOUSE

2) Barking followed by a sniff while you're not looking- I PROBABLY DON'T LIKE YOU AND TURNING TO LOOK AT ME WHILE SMELLING YOU LESSENS YOUR CHANCES!

3) Barking at my Mom in your presence- MOM THIS PERSONS NO GOOD, TRUST ME, ASK THEM TO LEAVE NOW.

4) Barking at children- I DON'T LIKE CHILDREN, PLEASE KEEP YOUR SMALL HUMAN UNDER CONTROL. GO PLAY WITH THE BIG DOG, OLIVE.

5) Barking but then accepting a pet- I PROBABLY DON'T LIKE YOU, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HANGING OUT SO I'LL APPEASE MY MOM FOR NOW. MOVE TOO QUICKLY THOUGH AND OUR PSUEDO FRIENDSHIP IS OVER. RETURN TO START.

If you are on my select list of friends, feel honored. As for now I have stopped accepting applications while I continue to convince Mom she doesn't need any man in her life when she's got ME!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

In the fall of 2004, the love of my life, a tall, dark and strikingly handsome thoroughbred named Rufus, became very ill. Many many trips to the vets at Virginia Tech and a lot of money had provided me with no answers as to what was going on with him. In a last ditch effort I decided to contact an animal communicator. Ok ok I know it sounds crazy, but if nothing else she provided me with a tremendous amount of comfort. While quite a few of her statements proved to be true, one still sticks with me to this day. Rufus was very sick but I was headed out of town for Christmas and was going to be gone for over a week. I was concerned that Rufus would notice my absence and succumb to his illness. The communicator said while animals know when someone is absent, they have no concept of actual time. Leave for 2 seconds, 2 hours or 2 weeks and animals will be just as excited to see you! So when Rufus did lose his battle on January 4, 2005, I knew he knew I had always been there.

In relationships the saying "distance/ absence makes the heart grow fonder" couldn't be more true. Unfortunately this usually involves days apart for two people to start truly missing each other. In none of my relationships, has any man jumped with excitement when I've come home from work let alone if I walked to the mailbox and back. But my dogs never fail, because only seconds make their hearts grow fonder. Aren't we supposed to enjoy spending time together? How do you keep those butterflies alive?

While I know this is exaggerated and I might wish a significant other would leave for days if he truly jumped for joy every time I entered the room, but there has got to be a fine line where it doesn't take days of non communicating for some one to miss you... Optimistic?

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

With the divorce rate in America these days it's not surprising to find a lot of personal ads of people single with children. As a single childless female scouring the top online dating sights, I know first hand. Even with settings set to "No Children" as a "Must Have" it's funny how many men w/ child stumble upon my profile and decide to contact me. I've contemplated making my headline "w/ child need not apply", but have found this to be a bit harsh considering my unwavering desire to have children of my own one day.

But I have recently found my self wondering, am I really different than these singles with? As I have not one, not two but THREE four legged children! And I do consider them my children. I make sure they are fed, loved and always have a roof over their heads. Yeah I am sure a lot of people will read this and think there is no comparison between children and dogs, but I have come to believe children would be a lot easier to introduce to a new "somebody" in your life than canine kids.

Now you can't force neither human or dog to like, let alone, bond with someone new but children do not have to be around said new person and at very least can appease their parent by acting cordial when in the newbies presence. Ever sat your dog down and asked them to please at least act like you like them? It doesn't work. You are all your dog has and rely on you 100%, therefore they don't want nor have to share you. Children share their parents time with everyday life everyday. Nothing has made me more emotional in my trek to singledom than the thought of having to introduce my dogs to a new special someone.

So as I continue my quest to find love and start a human family of my own, I have to wonder... Will I find that single without who will accept me for canines and all, unlike my non-acceptance of those with children? Or will they all see nothing but a crazy dog lady leaving me single with canines forever?

Till then I know I'll continued to be loved 3 times over single or not!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Hello humans in cyberspace, I'm Bob Edward a 4 year old dachshund! My mom thought it would be best I write our first blog entry. Of course I can't say I am too surprised as I am the man of the house, yes, that's me the stunning one in the front of the picture. Hello bitches ;)

Anyhow my mom said she was starting this blog to share the stories of a single lady and her three dogs, but really I think it's just an excuse to make having three of us appear normal, as opposed to some crazy dog lady! I don't really understand why she thinks she needs another man in her life, as I think I am pretty good at taking care of her needs. I lick her, spoon and cuddle her, whisper (ok sniff) sweet nothings in her ear, follow her every move, listen to her, watch chick flicks and never interrupt and am home for dinner every night! Who could ask for more?