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Why run when you can hide? In a recent episode of WWE’s Monday Night RAW, Kevin Owens decided to take off before his match with Royal Rumble winner Braun Strowman and hide inside a portable restroom. Unfortunately for Owens, Strowman found him and dragged the restroom out in front of the crowd, where — amid thunderous applause and encouragement — he shoulder tackled the unit right off the stage. The following statement was released after the fight:

There seems to be no limit to what people will shove into a portable restroom tank. Case in point: the 16-inch snapping turtle that a Spring Lake Township (Michigan) Water Department employee found in a toilet tank. The turtle looked lethargic — after steeping in chemically treated water, who wouldn’t? — but it started moving when the worker poked it to see if it was still alive. The Public Works department banned together, donned thick plastic gloves and wrestled the turtle to safety. After being hosed off, the turtle looked livelier so they dropped it off at a local pond. “When I came back a few hours later to check on it, it was gone,” says Brendon O'Hara, a township employee who helped with the rescue. “We assumed it crawled away on its own and went back to whatever turtles do, not being in toilets.”

There are mobile restrooms … and then there are motorized restrooms. Seriously. The World’s Fastest Toilet is documented in the Guinness Book of World Records, and competition is fierce. Check out the top competitors and watch videos of the thundering thrones in action, including one Boeing-powered unit that can reach 70 mph. And don’t be alarmed when you hear the rumble. It’s not coming from the restroom; it is the restroom.

The fallout from two airborne Colorado restrooms hasn’t ended. Karleen Kos, frequent champion of portable sanitation and Portable Sanitation Association International executive director, recently wrote another takedown of an associate editor for Vice. The Vice article under attack is one that glorified the windstorm in Colorado that sent two restrooms spiraling into the sky — gleefully abusing the units that, according to the writer, bring misery to so many. Kos valiantly defended the portable restroom and the Vice editor conceded that she made good points and graciously published the piece. You can read it here.

A group of students from the University of British Columbia created a toilet out of mushrooms that solves the problem of what to do with waste when a toilet is full. In this case, you simply bury it in the ground where it becomes fertilizer; the decomposition process is aided by the mushroom spores. But you maybe don’t want to eat those mushrooms. Read more about it here.

Arson Report

An intentionally set fire in a portable restroom in Wicomico County, Maryland, resulted in $5,000 of damage to public property. The Salisbury Fire Department put out the fire and is investigating the incident.

A couple of men were charged with malicious mischief and malicious explosion of a substance after duct-taping 96 sparklers together and throwing them into a portable restroom in a park. After the restroom exploded, they were caught leaving to go set off their remaining fireworks.