sexual coercion

Do you feel you are / have been under pressure to agree to have sex or to do something sexual?

Have you been asked to have sex in ways you’re not 100% comfortable / happy with?

Do you feel that at times you can’t say no because you’ve already had sex?

Do you feel that you can’t say no to unprotected sex or is someone pressuring you to have unprotected sex?

Have you been given lots of alcohol “to get tipsy” and then asked to have sex?

Have you been told any of the following?

Come on! …It’s time… Everyone’s doing it!

…I need to have sex with you to know that you really love me…

…What’s the problem…we’ve already done it…

…I’ll tell everyone you’re frigid…

…If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll have to leave you…

…I’ll have to get it somewhere else…

Do you feel / have you felt threatened in any way to agree to have sex?

If you have answered yes to any of the questions then you may be experiencing sexual coercion. Read on to find out more…

What is sexual coercion?Sexual coercion happens when someone is put under pressure to agree to have sex.

This pressure is not always obvious, sometimes it can be subtle and can take many different forms:

Constantly asking you for sex

Trying to convince you to a point that you feel worn out or you feel it would be easier just to say yes

Making promises in order to get sex from you e.g. “This is not a one-night-stand; I promise…”

Touching you sexually (when you don’t want to)

Lying:

Saying they are the same age as you or younger/older than they actually are

Saying they love you and that’s why they need to have sex with you

Putting emotional pressure on you

Telling you that everybody is doing it and it’s weird that you don’t want to

Complaining that you don’t love them because you don’t want to do it

Telling you it is your duty to have sex with them

Making you feel guilty for not doing it

Accusing you of having an affair to manipulate you into having sex

Arguing about not having sex

Using alcohol or drugs to encourage you to have sex

Blackmailing you

Using threats

Telling you they would go elsewhere for sex

Telling you they’ll end the relationship if you don’t have sex with them

Someone experiencing sexual coercion can be under any of these forms of pressure or under a combination of them.

When we look at these behaviours as part of a bigger picture, they are not part of a healthy relationship; what is more, they can affect your physical, sexual and mental health and even your future relationships. If you feel you're experiencing sexual coercion, there are a number of organisations that are willing to listen to you and to help you.