Those who follow Mark Frost's Twitter feed are very much aware of his markedly progressive politics. Indeed, anyone paying close attention to Twin Peaks-The Return will have detected Frost's political edge cutting through into artfully done but nonetheless scathing commentary on gun culture, misogyny, political corruption, police brutality, and the prison industrial complex, among other social ills. It is thus relatively unsurprising to come across passages in Twin Peaks: The Final Dossier--released just today--that give voice to progressive concerns in, for instance, Special Agent Tammy Preston's editorializing on the evils of law and order policing to "increase the prison's client population" (34) or the prospects for "cannabis laws growing progressively less prohibitive" (39). But if Frost's left-leaning politics inevitably shade the narrative from time to time, his open disdain for the sitting President of the United States--while continually on display in the Twitterverse--has been something that we've had to read between the lines of the Twin Peaks universe.

Until today! As an avid reader of political analysis on all sides of the spectrum, I thought I had countenanced every last possible explanation for the President's...shall we say?...unorthodox leadership style: brutal honesty, malignant narcissism, populism, incompetence, early-onset dementia, Bannonesque chaos-mongering, sociopathy, loneliness, self-loathing, childhood abuse, you name it. But until I got to page 77 of The Final Dossier, the most obvious explanation of all had completely eluded me: the President is governing under the nefarious influence of the Owl Cave Ring, which was passed to him by Lana Budding Milford, widow of the late, great Dougie Milford, during a brief fling "on her way up the plutocratic food chain" in New York after departing Twin Peaks in the wake of Dougie's death. Of course!

Thanks to Special Agent Tammy Preston's unparalleled sleuthing skills, we now know that the President has more than just syphilis and racism in common with Thomas Jefferson and more than just resigning in humiliation and infamy in common with Richard Nixon: all three share the prestigious and rare honor of being members of the Owl Cave Ring Presidents Club! You have to read it to believe it! Check it out below!