“Peace I leave with you
my peace I give you
I do not give to you as the world gives
Do not let your hearts be troubled
do not be afraid” (John 14:27)
But I am scared
Blood runs down streets
Hatred, rage, violence dance
In a chaotic frenzy performance
of evil malice . . .
What do your words mean?
Are they void – empty promises?
Where is the peace in deafening explosions?
In the cacophony of rapid gun fire?
Screams of horror?
Tears of death???
“I am the resurrection and the life
The one who believes in me will live
even though they die
and whoever lives by believing in me will never die
Do you believe this?” John 25:26
Yes, I want too . . .
But fear creeps around my heart
Its cancerous fibers sinking deep – choking me
Doubts greet me in the morning
Panic sleeps in my bed
I am weak
Hear my cries of desperation
“Be strong and courageous
Do not be afraid
do not be discouraged
for the Lord your God will be with you
wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9)
Stay close – fill me
I cannot see –
Darkness surrounds me
Death, destruction, desecration, depression
Blood, bitterness, bile, blight
“I have come into the world as a light
so that no one who believes in me
should stay in darkness
If anyone hears my words but does not keep them
I do not judge that person
For I did not come to judge the world
but to save the world” (John 12:46-47)
I cannot begin to fathom this
How great is this love
Forgiveness over revenge
Peace over violence
Life over death
Love over hate
Help me I pray
“A new command I give you
Love one another
As I have loved you
so you must love one another” (John 13:34)
Love one another . . .
David Meade
11/18/2015
Love Generously

I tracked along a silver trail
carved out from Earthly dust
by rays persistent in the dark
and midnight wanderlust.
It led me to a bubbling fount
of sulfurous mud and tar;
whereupon I chanced a glimpse
and found a fallen star.
An ancient from celestial realms
ensnared terrestrially
dimly glowing in the murk
I heard it sing to me:
Sojourner of the moonlit way
I sense thy beating heart
I’ve travelled from infinity
now hearken ere you part.
You roam upon this infant orb,
you draw from it thy life,
but I sense greed and evil scorn
and no land void of strife.
I beg you tell me how it came
that creatures such as thee
have found such hatred in thy souls
to punish endlessly.
It’s not so bad, I said out loud
we know of love as well…
as to the fate of mother Earth
I simply can’t foretell.
The ground beneath my weary feet
gave way to empty space
then all around me in the void
I saw the human race.
Starving children, ill and gaunt
were kicked by wing-tipped shoes.
Females ranging every clime
in silence nursed abuse.
In darkness men were plotting war
in light their banners raised
it mattered not which way I looked
some evil met my gaze.
Make it stop, I beg you please!
Why poison thou my mind?
What can I do to stop all this,
is no good left to find?
Sojourner of the moonlit way
I sense thy beating heart
I’ve travelled from infinity
now hearken ere you part.
You roam upon this infant orb,
you draw from it thy life,
and though you’re one of many men
love in thy chest is rife.
You must return to whence you came
you must confer abroad
the goodness that within thee burns
seek first to serve the flawed.
Think on the vast expanse of space
so empty, dark and cold…
and how despite the hopeless cause
star-light you still behold.
So too might thou, if you’ll but try
endure this awful plight
for in the vast expanse of hate
love is thy shining light.
07/16/15

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
See what you want to see
Don't Look at me!
You are staring you are watching;
Eat what you can't be
Come sleep by my side
The whole world is our playground
Don't make a sound
Stop clowning around
In the mist of the night,
You keep me from crying
I wipe off the taste of your lips
You kiss me starting at my inner hips
You broke me in a way..
I hate to say your love is better every day
I deny you, the one thing I can't say
You are my pillow
Where I rest my legs,
Can you feel me~
This moment feels right
I just want to die here,
Die here ~
Die here by your side
I sleep with my eyes wide open,
I sleep with the enemy by my side
Come here and hold me
After you watched my worlds collide
Come here and love me
I'm yours till the end of time
You can rock me!
Under the moon and its rhyme
I put it all to a side, how I hate you inside
I can't let go
I just want you to know
I'm a fool in love with you
Even if it doesn't show!
~SKAT~
12- 7- 10

Ignore those who make you fearful and sad. (Rumi)
Love is always more powerful than hate.
It's simple to tell who is good and bad.
Those who spread rumours are playing with fate.
Love is always more powerful than hate,
freedom of speech is your God given right.
Those who spread rumours are playing with fate,
never back down, always stand up and fight.
Freedom of speech is your God given right,
don't be afraid;, if they can't hear you - SHOUT!
Never back down, always stand up and fight,
with a strong stance no one can push you out.
Don't be afraid; if they can't hear you - SHOUT!
The intelligent ones will know the truth.
With a strong stance no one can push you out,
you'll be hitting home runs, just like Babe Ruth.
The intelligent ones will know the truth,
with a smile, be true to what you believe.
You'll be hitting home runs, just like Babe Ruth,
let them know there is much more up your sleeve.
With a smile, be true to what you believe,
life is full of obstacles in your way.
Let them know there is much more up your sleeve,
nothing they can do will ruin your day.
Life is full of obstacles in your way.
It's simple to tell who is good and bad.
Nothing they can do will ruin your day.
Ignore those who make you fearful and sad.

23 May 2016
10 syllables per line.
Pantoum poem
A rare form of poetry. It is composed of a series of quatrains; the second and fourth lines of each stanza are repeated as the first and third lines of the next. This pattern continues for any number of stanzas, except for the final stanza, which differs in the repeating pattern. The first and third lines of the last stanza are the second and fourth of the penultimate; the first line of the poem is the last line of the final stanza, and the third line of the first stanza is the second of the final. Ideally, the meaning of lines shifts when they are repeated although the words remain exactly the same: this can be done by shifting punctuation, punning, or simply recontextualizing.
It does not have to rhyme nor have a syllable restriction

Just one look at you
Tempting me, teasing me, tormenting me
I hate the feelings you evoke
Greed
Desire
Lust
Just want to hold you, devour you
I don’t want to see you go
But I can never resist the last chocolate in the box!
9th March 2015
Contest – Love or Hate – Pick a subject - Shadow Hamilton
I chose Love as my theme
~awarded 1st place~

Revenge sweet turning with hate
a brother rises striking blows
landing hits brother in wicked deeds
evilness within mans own soul
Cruelty crawling inside desires
suffering greed of nations they plea
Rise up against nations man at war
tearing asunder God's creation
People slowly murdering loveless
Pride a sinful act of violence
laced with pain destroying pure love
everything that once stood out housed peace
so fine cut beautiful, good sharing
caring free, in this one, big show rolls
Keeps turning, the wheel of hope
whom will speak, as we all become part
of his heavenly dust in the end
or burning remains of hell's fire

for days he follows a man dressed in black eyes fathomless pools
I feel his yearning his hunger and I am smitten curious
dreading him yet he enthralls me to surrender-
confusion fear overwhelms me he is breathing oh desire
in his room whispering my name . . .
his voice a deep baritone demanding terrifying
those fathomless eyes look down at me I am lost I pull him close
he strokes my flowing raven hair his eyes cold as ice
daggers to my soul love(or hate) lust passion possession
he wants to control me and violently he crushes my ruby red lips
with a demanding kiss and then the kiss is beautiful
words evil he is need lust he says vile things
oh those dark fathomless eyes go away come back I love you
he wraps his arms around me we are spinning and swirling lost in love
for how long are we locked in that embrace it seems like days
then he stops his smile is mean and cruel he laughs
I am nothing without his kiss I am a love hostage held in chains
and when he turns away I weep for him and hate myself
dark this lust I MUST find the strength to leave
there is no sweetness this is WRONG lost as his fathomless eyes
must get away must find the courage to walk away leave leave
I hear the door close and quickly dress the rooms smell mouldy
finding the door I turn the knob it is locked
and I am screaming . . .
_____________________________
February 1, 2016
Free Verse
For the contest, The Dark Side Of Love,
Sponsor, Shadow Hamilton
Fifth Place

Something evil this way comes
Sure as the rising of the Son
A single heart left to bleed
A lost soul with a dying need
When love proves it doesn’t care
In creeps darkness and despair
Angry voices from deep with-in
Scream I’m a fool once again
I now make my soul like a cave
It’s the darkness that I now crave
Around my heart I shall build a moat
With blood sacrifices unto the goat
Deep in darkness as a soul can be
Father of darkness come feed on me
She destroyed the love in my soul
I do pray that hate fills up the hole
Troubled souls with hallow voices
In this life we all make choices
My choices have left me degraded
I now hate the person I created
Into darkness away from the Son
Something evil this way comes
Yea, I posted this for Deborah's contest.
Believe it or not this is who i used to
be. Poetry is a truly amazing tool when
it comes to change, it transformed this
into the man I am. All I can say about
that, "Praise be the Power of God".

Streets of blood
She stood upon the terrace high
streets of blood below
The gate left open in the night,
a dark sky threatens snow
With swine and pearls running free
her bed sheets fought the wind
A tear drop fell her worried eyes
at hate now once again
Of drawbridge wars in endless fight
to stones of castle keep
A single rose a’ bloom this dawn
as mothers come to weep
For sons of father’s destined fall,
these followed footsteps bare
Along the streets so narrow, long,
where death becomes aware
“Enough!” she shouted far and wide
“This fighting now shall end”
“Take your swords and hateful spite,
do not return again”
And lifting high her amulet
upon a staff of wood
She chanted as the stone did glow
this morning where she stood
“Of peace, let all be felt this hour
Thy breath of saddened greed
Be gone, be gone, oh beast of war
No longer doth thou feed
Ye shadows o’er a nightfall mist
Lest blood befall your hand
Beyond this tree lined sacred place
Be gone from this our land”
When then a mighty wave did flow,
the streets were cleansed of fear
And there beyond horizons call
the sunrise did appear
And where once sat a single rose,
one thousand buds did grow
Of crimson red and silken gold,
the sweetest fragrance flow
Mothers hugged their children close
as loudly trumpets blared
The bloodied streets now white with snow
and love by all was shared
But there within the canyons lurked
cast eyes of beaded red
“I shall return to take this place
O’ ye who think me dead”
“To once more fill yon streets with blood
of this ye can believe
No matter what the masses want,
know this, I shall not leave”

I love being young, getting to ride the roller coasters.
The sound, tick, tick, tick, tick-like a heartbeat racing to the top.
Then, surprised even when you know it’s coming, dropped into the abyss.
Something always pulls it down, like gravity.
It’s frustrating, riding something so close to being dead.
So far away but still so close, seating rows.
I hate being so close to, yet so far from the row.
She was in with me on this roller coaster.
Adrenaline rushed my body so fast almost leaving me dead.
The blood flowed so fast emphasizing the highs of the top.
But something keeps pulling me down, gravity.
Here I am again, back in the abyss.
In the ride, weeks of no communication, the beginning of the end, the abyss.
The scariest. My worst fear of my youth. Looking back at the rows,
I see her, with my own image, my heart sinks more. I hate you gravity.
But it’s the only thing that fuels the roller coaster.
Nothing makes me happier than bringing it back to the top.
Let’s hope this isn’t so abrupt, so fast, like the last one, leaving me dead.
How I hope so much, so much hope still not dead.
The heart, the love, the eternal abyss.
Strikes me back with enough momentum to reach the top.
Lines, love, flashing like an old film, with rows.
Showing me a movie, reminding me of, a roller coaster.
The movie explained that the only thing that keeps it going is gravity.
Thank you gravity.
My worries are gone and dead.
Just accept it, and love the roller coaster.
Appreciate the loneliness of the abyss.
The reason you’re here is for the ride, not the rows.
I just want to enjoy the youth and its happy tops.
This coaster, like love has its tops.
But something brings it down like gravity.
Distanced with rows,
Never seeing her again, thinking she’s dead.
But deeper and deeper coming out of the abyss.
The complicated life of the young, the love of roller coasters.
Get on the roller coaster, rise to the top.
Don't worry about the drop to the abyss, It’s because of gravity
That you’re not dead, and I don't care about the rows.

I know that you are seeing someone else,
I'm not there when you close your eyes,
I believe that you are kissing me,
Knowing I love the way you lie.
I hear those three words from your lips,
If love is even possible, it's impossible to cry,
Though I know your heart is not truly mine,
I will always love the way you lie.
Your arms hold me as if you care,
My wise heart still wonders why,
Pretending that everything is alright,
Because I love the way you lie.
When I kiss you I think about nothing,
Wishing it wasn't you when I open my eyes,
I wonder, if I told you the truth,
Would you love the way I lie?
Written for Just That Archaic Poet's contest - "Sing To Me"
Inspired by the song "Love The Way You Lie Pt. 2" by Rihanna ft. Eminem

A heart
Never used now
Shall die
Dying
A congealing
Dead beat
Beaten
Down to silence
Some where
Where pure
passions exist
Then flee
Fleeing
Soulless to hide
Now lone
Lonesome
Turns to fury
At heart
Heartless
Cold and hollow
Always
Rick Lamoureux's contest
"Mussetle Train"

I have died so long ago.
The pieces of my bones were buried in Sheol.
It was so dark where I lay now.
My flesh is rotten and almost gone.
I have lived once in this world,
Where a loving family I was involved.
A dearest mom who loved me so,
Loving siblings I treasured most!
I'm a free-spirited young lady.
I love to entertain the world,
Wind hums as I hit the notes.
The nature became my hidden world.
I was once a fruit in a tree.
Until one day, a harvester picked me.
Still unripe, too young and fresh.
He stole my innocence.
Too many years past and my seed grew.
I have started bearring fruits.
But the harvester did not content,
He pulled me out from where I'd been.
He murdered me on one darkest night.
Then buried me beneath the ground.
I'm so helpless, no voice to shout!
My breath is counting one by one.
Until I surrendered the last air in my lungs.
I have died so long ago.
This girl that you used to know,
Isn't the one who writes a poem.
She had died so long ago.
She walks every night to find her home.

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare
You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark
The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy
You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark.

She was a Capulet and he a Montague
Yet the moment their eyes locked, such great passion grew
Scaled her balcony, professions of love to croon
Juliet warned, “Swear not by the inconstant moon”
Forced to elope because of a family feud
Hidden love’s revelation they had to elude
When Romeo’s friend Mercutio, Tybalt slew
Romeo killed Tybalt and from their town withdrew
Her father sought to wed Juliet to a Count
The friar gave her a potion, a small amount
Upon finding Juliet seemingly lifeless
Parents placed her in a tomb in funeral dress
The plan went awry and both lovers met their fate
Tragedy born when love did not overcome hate
June 9, 2011
Written for Brian's "Up to Thee Max 14 Lines" contest

A truth in rage of insult furrows my mind
For it is only an offense given to me by myself
In the mouths of others far innocent than I
I feel the tears trickle down my cheeks
For I have surfaced into an ugly mistake
I am always inadequate in this brain
I try to shine like the advice of grace given
But confidence rarely rears its head my way
There’s a sort of shade blocking its way
A shade that darkens everyday
That very shade led me to believe my feelings are wrong
That I will never belong so long as they are not controlled
I must be careful—for the lines of love and lust run cold
I hate myself truly this night
And no one but myself will give me the right
The very right to degrade my every being
Because you are not seeing what I am seeing
There is no point
My lines run cold
Can I be so bold as to say
I still love with a pang of indistinguishable doubt
All feelings enter in
As my truth blurs and checks out
Your words pierce me so deep
I cannot describe the pain I feel
God it hurts so bad
It can’t be real
Much like the love I have come to embrace
The very love that links to your face
Tears don’t give it justice
It can’t be real
Much like the love I will never face

Sometimes the memories won’t fade
All the places we have seen
All the prices we have paid
The memories of the happy as well as the sad
The people we’ve lost
The friends that we had
Some memories just seem like a ghost
I always lost everyone that I loved the most
The wind would just carry them away
Along with my tears
And my ability to pray
I wonder how far is heaven from here?
How many more heartaches
How many more tears
I wonder how far it is away
Because I have so many things that I wish to say
To all the people that I loved and I lost
I’m not even tripping
My heart paid the cost
The reaper rode the river in a bikers disguise
I’ll never forget the fear in my mother’s eyes
As he drug her under and then let her go
Through my four year old veins hate started to grow
My eyes were blind my ears were deaf
After that I forgot
There was anything left
Karma is like poker for it is bound to luck
When I was just a boy
God through me under the truck
Of all the things in life we feel
We are all bound to God’s will
Passion is a doorway between love and hate
God is the dealer in the game of fate
Our place is not to question why
For if we do our faith will die
The deeper we hate the deeper we love
I was gifted wisdom by the Lord above
Every gift comes at a price
A world of experience behind my advice
Every smile holds a lifetime of pain
Nothing that happens should happen in vein
It is our choice that which we do
Know in your heart these words are true
The harder we fall the further we climb
No ones life is totally sublime
Illusion after illusion will be offered to you
But only the living word is true
The living word that beats in your heart
Will keep you safe as the world falls apart
Through the pain of a boy watching his mother die
It’s never to late to kiss the sky
A man of faith who could never give up
Please come break my bread and share in my cup
By the time our journey is through
I’ll share all I am with you
Hopefully somewhere in my words you’ll see
---Untwisted is truly the way to be---

A burst of white light
gamma rays, overbearing
a flash of brilliance
burns through to my soul
everything is like hell
the world starts to melt
in the blink of an eye
just the cold blackness
of night
I don't care if I am not again
what I once was, for at this moment
I am greater now
than ever before
I took the path between
teetering, tight roping walking
right up to my right
divined in my unholy state
I thought I told you
I am your king
still you sit there, hesitating
I know you hate me
what does that mean?
I hate just about everything
still I'm chosen
I did not wish before
now bow down to me
refuse me no more
for I shall always be your demon
until you accept me as your King.
I don't even know you
though you say we used to be
best of friends, you and me
the day you ditched me
I remember now
exactly how it played out
back when we were just tiny things
even back then I still was King
you thought me stupid
just a ruse
I would laugh inside, you see?
not one of you single, mean people
ever even knew me
in a world, mostly seen to me
that is why only I can be your true King
and bring forth a new source
of light everlasting.
As two worlds collide slowly aligned
one wrapped in shadows
one bathed in white
evils swirling in the clouds above
I'll always be the king you love
to hate or despise as in your blood
I thought I told you, I am the one
I am the way, the way out shall be shown
breathe in my spirit as it carries you away
breathe in my faith it shall carry your empty space
and deposit you gently on a cloud just enough
higher than you've ever dreamed of
for I am king now, and your in my hell
your in my imagination, I'll just never tell
you'll feel as though dreaming, you'll feel now
if you try and see
you were always found the most
shared in the light cast upon me
the last bright star in heaven.
Denounce my name, if you may
One year later, still not afraid
A black sheep, a darkened spade
That's just life, I'm not right
I'm in the wrong, follow along
Like a piper, I'll pitch a song
Mesmerized, the weak wills sing
I thought he told you, he's still our king.

Love can seem so happy and so wonderful
But it can hurt and take away from life too
You make me so happy and make me feel so special
But then you turn around and make me feel like ****
love can turn you into a whole new person
But you could change into to something great or something no one wants
Love seems so wonderful at first
But spending my days not knowing if you want me or even care for me is agonizing
Sometimes i feel like your lying to me but if i say that then you'll get mad again
Your such a loose cannon, ready to burst with rage and tears
Love is so temperamental
so can you tell me.......
Is It Worth It?

Did I deceive or dissatisfy,
now you say you're feeling
disheartened, disenchanted, disconcerted,
dumbfounded, deeply disillusioned..
Do you miss me...
I'm confused, wondering if I actually do..
Do you love me... or hate to love me..
maybe love to hate me...
Sometimes...
It seems..
You hate me...
But, then you love me..
Do you know the difference?
I will never be,
that guy you want me to be..
I can't be him,
I am me, sorry that disappoints you..
Now the nights are lonely,
wondering, if, I can live,
without you...
Your opinion of me hurts,
the words you speak are like poison..
But, you carry on.. Leads me to think,
do you even know me?
Your emotions are like an elevator,
one minute to adore me....
then absolutely despise me....
Distance hurts and you can't control me...
Is love not, letting me be, who I am..
Instead of creating your perfect man...
A distorted image in your mind..
So, I guess, I failed..
But, I still whisper,
yet you don't listen...
Every time I sleep,
I'm lost in your thoughts...
Maybe, if you let me breathe,
I would not dehydrate and silence would be broken...
But, I guess there are so many maybe's..
so we remain in a place,
neither of us want to be....
Simple musings...
14 February 2016

I hate you because you stole my heart,
but I don’t want it returned;
The fact that it is safe with you,
is something I have learned.
I hate the way you smile at me,
It stops all time and space;
When you are near, I feel at ease,
and grounded in my place.
I hate how you can make time fly,
and yet, make each moment last;
I feel as though you are my world,
I hate the spell you’ve cast.
I hate the times you’ve shown you care,
I always question why;
I know, that I can count on you,
to catch the tears I cry.
I hate the way you look at me,
what you see I do not know;
I’m scared you’ll find out how I feel,
I hope it doesn’t show.
I hate the way you touch my hand,
because eventually, you let go;
I hate the way you hug me tight,
my feelings over-flow.
I hate the way you talk to me,
Your voice is firm, but kind;
The way you think, is different,
I appreciate, your mind.
I hate you because of who you are to me,
You cannot be replaced;
I hate the way you make me feel,
but my emotions, must be faced.
I love, the warmth your presence brings,
and how you’re always true;
For the soul that you are,
until I die, I will love you.

When the rain stops and the tears still flow…
Our souls are unmasked as feelings still show…
Hands that write to lessen the pain…
For my words to be read to keep us sane…
Lasting impressions etched on a wall…
As we sit on the edge of an emotional fall…
We grasp this world and the events that took place…
As our beliefs are tested through the tears on our face…
Hands reached across the land as fear becomes faith…
And warm hearts bleed as love conquers hate…

In Life
Each person goes through
many different types of tribulations
Troubles hits homes
Even Nations
You can hate evil
That's spun
But We Believers know
Love Is the Key to Victory
You gotta Love People
Even those whom do you wrong
For You belong to Jesus
As Jesus said.. with His Last Breath
"Father... Forgive them"
"For they do not know what they do"
As Our Father states
Love one another Tenderheartedly
Never let go of Love inside of thee
You otta Love People~Far and wide
Show Love you have inside
Here on this Earth
Show them all How much they are Worth
All People are Worth Everything
God's Only Begotten Son.. Our King
Showed God's Divine Love for all
He died on the Cross and Risen
Just for You and Me~All People
All Souls.. chance to be whole
Even Souls whom portray evil in days
What profit do you receive
If You only Love those.. whom Love thee?
Love All People
There is many forms of Love
God gives Blessings in Life
Precious is Souls
Whom Love's Shares-shows
God's Glorious Light
Glowing through day and night
Shining.. Bringing others to Christ
All People are Beautiful
Even those who.. don't know what they do
Forgive all those whom do.. or done you wrong
For Knowing You belong to Our Father's Son
Shine Your Light.. bright.. Bright.. BRIGHT!
There's many Relationships
can come about
Love is in Air.. no doubt
God's Blessings are Every Where
Love between You and Me~all People
You can hate this world
But You otta Love Souls
For without Love for one another
then there is No point for each other
Love makes world go around
Love is Greatest Gift can be found
Love between.. You and Me~all People
Most Love of All.. Love Pure and True
Love that God.. Almighty
has given to me.. and You
And All People to receive
DIVINE LOVE
All of Us--Come to Jesus.. Believe
Believe in Love
Love is The Greatest thing
Love makes Life worth Living
Love gives.. so Others can Live
As God so Loved the World
He gave... His Divine Love of all
Just for You and Me~All People
Save Souls.. Of God's Children
Always Love Tenderheartedly
For All.. People in World
How do You portray Your Love?
To those whom Love You
Or to All People.. in World
Or to none.. and just let World go by
awaiting for moment.. Christ
Come Shine Your Love.. Light Through
Jesus died and Risen for Me & You~All People
Love One Another.. as Christ Loves Us
Forgive Each other.. As Our Father forgives Us
Save Souls.. As God Saved Us

Angelus wasn't anyone special. Some might say that he was a loser.
He did more than his share of chasing women
and townsfolk say that he was very much the boozer,
but beneath all of his irresponsibility stood a champion the purest of heart.
The Good was always within him. It just never seemed to get a good start.
Angelus was abused by his father. Conflicts arose between the two quite often.
His father saw his son as a family disgrace
and wouldn't hesitate to get the whip and beat him.
"Why does my father hate me so? Families should love you no matter what.
How can I give my family what they desire
when it's simply something that I just haven't got?"
Thoughts like this would haunt Angelus daily, leaving him in a very confused place to be.
"I love them! I hate them!" Angelus would cry. "I hate them for not loving me."
One evening he was drowning his sorrows. Suddenly this vision of loveliness appeared.
The vixen Darla then said as she ran her fingers through his hair,
"Such beautiful eyes should not be so filled with tears.
I too never knew the love of a family. I roamed this world living my life as a whore,
searching for the love of family in the arms of strangers
who cared less after they had used me once more.
I can only imagine the pain that you suffer.
I never knew my family and perhaps it's just as well,
because seeing you here now with your family and a family that doesn't love you
is so obviously a more painful and tormenting hell.
You've two choices before you Angelus my sweet.
End your life now and free yourself from this torment
or spend forever with me and together we'll seek life's bittersweet but eternal enjoyment.
If death isn't your choice then the answer is clear.
Say the words and I'll deliver you from all of this.
Close your eyes, say the words, you have nothing to fear.
Let me give you my eternal kiss."
He gazed upon her and thought to himself, "This one truly must be my salvation."
"I choose you," he then said as he closed his eyes
and so began Angelus's damnation.
She sunk her fangs deep in his throat and fed on his blood.
All of his Good, all of his Soul all disappear.
Angelus was reborn the most evil of evil.
He was the vampire all vampires would fear.
Angelus's Revenge >
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poem_detail.aspx?ID=190796

This hurts too much,
Even though at times
Its the best thing ever.
However, the pain I feel right now
Is destroying all that I am.
I feel worthless and dumb.
Vunerable and used.
I also feel loved and special.
Beautiful and wanted.
These feeling are so extreme in every which way possible.
I love how I feel when with you
I hate how I feel guilty when we part
I love looking in your eyes
I hate when mine cry
Your fingers along my face also touches her
Those lips that drive me crazy
Are sleeping against her neck tonight
I love who I am around you
I hate what I have turned into
I love the way you make me feel
I hate that she must feel that as well
No matter how good it feels
This pain is too much to bear
I love you
I truely truely do
But the hurt is not worth
The random few moments of bliss.
Goodbye, my love-hate lover
Goodbye
**Note**
This is a letter/poem I wrote for someone special. But it moves me so much every time i
read it, I thought maybe someone else would enjoy reading it as well. 'To write is to share
with the world, how we all feel but never speak of' Lisa

His heart was black, but I didn't
know.
I needed him, but he said no.
Everything I ever was was stolen by
his addictive drug.
I gave him my love and more with a
cost.
I'll never get back all I've lost.
I begged him to stay and love me
back,
but what I got in return was worse
than a smack.
My love now gone was lain to bed
when he lied and said, "You're mine
to wed."
A lying snake he was, but I
was still lured in by his lullaby.
Six times too many I was his.
Six times too many I was tricked.
I hate myself, I hurt myself.
I hope someday I kill myself.
For taking advantage was easily
executed from him to me.
So, as I lie upon the floor,
the blood will seep, it will pour.
Until I snap back into reality ,
my arms will scar most erratically.
I hate myself, I hurt myself.
Sometimes I isolate myself.
From your clutches I'll be free, but
only if I flee to sea.
Yet, the boat I sail will only sink,
thanks to my unending misery.
The waves crush my bones and cut
my skin, tearing me limb from limb.
I hate myself, I hurt myself.
Again, I'll try to kill myself.
My love has no idea what he
has done to the old Destiny.
But, no longer will I thrash and cut.
The feelings will all melt away
as soon as I kneel down to pray.
My Lord has brought me up anew,
but darkness Will fall back on
through.
Lucifer and his devilish gents will
not stop, they will not rest.
Until they tear my lonely heart bit
by bit... apart...apart...
I hate myself, I hurt myself.
When will I stop disappointing
myself?

SONNET - LOVE'S RAGE
The hate in me lives like a growling bear
hungry for nourishment and ready to snatch
every morsel of emotion begins to tear
as I run forever, rage comes to latch
Poisoning my flesh with passionate lust
her dagger eyes pierce me in the night
She's a temptation that I can ill trust
and her leeching lips are morbid white
She bolts my love into a locked cage
and spurs me on then leaves me in rage
She proffers hate, and refuses to engage
Mayhap I need to smite her turn a page.
I will deny her, I am not her feast,
love’s eternal flame will tame the beast.
T.J Grén & Mystic Rose

Love all hate none
is a common saying
I too fell prey to it
And Fell in love ....
My love worked well
As long as there was sunshine
It vanished as the night approached
my shadow was no more with me
Love was gone
At least for a day
Can love be so intermittent?
How could love change faces so soon?
Is it really love
Or just a mirage?