Just Getting Started

The older I get, the faster time goes. Just when I get used to writing the current month on checks and correspondence, another month swoops in to take its place. I once read some sort of scientific explanation for why adults perceive time to be much more fleeting than children do, but I can’t remember the specifics, only that it is real. All I know is that I blinked, and April appeared out of nowhere, leaving January, February, and March in the dust.

The new car smell of 2017 is but a faint scent at this point, and our New Year’s resolutions also may be a distant memory. Maybe, you have decided to throw in the towel, and give your goals another go in 2018. Or perhaps, you are plugging away and making progress toward ending the year better than you began it. If you are like me, then you are doing a bit of both.

As I conducted a first quarter review of 2017, my initial inclination was to lament that New Year’s resolutions don’t work, as I have not reached certain goals like I had envisioned I would at this point in the year. This lament opened the door to blame my life circumstances, other people, and the goals themselves for my perceived lack of progress, as I ran through a litany of excuses disguised as valid points. I don’t have time to pursue my dreams. I just need to wait until next year to start over with a clean slate. I have blown it for this year. I am simply not capable of accomplishing my goals.

The blame game is one that I am intimately familiar with, as it has been my fallback when things do not go as planned, which they rarely do. This game takes the burden of responsibility off of me and places it squarely on the shoulders of other people and external circumstances. The only problem with this game is that while it is easy to play, there is no winner, only a loser. Me.

As I reflected on the first three months of this new year, I took note of everything I had not done and had not achieved, and waving the white flag seemed like a viable option. However, as soon as I gave myself permission to finish out the year on automatic pilot and to try again next year, the intentions I set for this year banded together and begged for a reprieve.

The thought of shelving my plans, shortly after dusting them off, was truly soul crushing. These are among my most heartfelt and meaningful intentions and to discard them so readily was most certainly not in my best interest. They did not fail me, I had failed them. If I had the ability to fail, then, I also had the ability to succeed. That realization spurred me forward, instead of retreating.

I took stock of this first quarter, again, only this time, I did it from a different perspective. I recognized the steps, even the tiniest ones, I had taken this year to create the life I have envisioned. I may not be where I wanted to be by the end of March, but I am closer than I was when the year began. I re-evaluated my intentions, letting go of one intention that no longer resonates with me, tweaking another one, and recommitting to all of them on a daily basis. New Year’s Day comes but once a year, but fresh starts and new opportunities to get things right can happen any day and at any time. For me, that time is now, not next year.

As this second quarter of the year begins, I am feeling a renewed sense of hope and optimism, despite the underlying fear of failure. That fear of failing pales in comparison with the fear of living a life of regrets and unrealized visions. This year may not have started how I thought that it would, but if I can get out of my own way, keep these sacred intentions front and center in my heart and mind, and stay the course, this year will end on an amazing note and set the stage for an even more incredible year to follow. 2017 is just getting started, and so am I.