Monday, May 26, 2014

When I drove down through the camp I discovered every one of the RVs I could see was hiding at least one more. Some of the sites were stacked up with extra trailers and tents. So it really was crowded. On the way down the mountain I saw at least 8 more RVs heading up. Good thing I left. Its a lot more crowded than I thought!

Home was still a little toxic. I slept in the RV one night. Then really aired out the house the next day with a thorough cleaning. Ron was working his brains out. He looks so tired. I really worry about him. I know he doesn't eat right when I'm not here. He's probably not going to bed at the right time either. Most likely he's working from 6:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m. and falling to sleep on the couch. We really need to figure out a 'better for both of us' solution.

Wednesday May 28th

Anyway, for the next 3 days I worked on projects, and playing catch up. Then today I got the opportunity to watch Joey for just a couple of hours. It turned into more but Joey and I were having a great time. Then I got the spray text from Aaron Hideman, the guy growing peas across the road. He informed me he was spraying a pyrethroid for insects the next day. I texted him back and asked if he could delay it till Friday or Saturday due to my dental surgery on Thursday. His response was an abrupt, "Sorry, no." I let Ron handle it, as I wouldn't have been able to stay calm, or polite. After all, the guy is responsible for spraying the glyphosate that caused the cavities, and now I'm going to a dentist visit that may or may not turn out well. I'll be having anesthesia (articaine, plain) and they're usually toxic. I was stressed over it enough already with out being forced out of my home again, when I need to be able to heal. I'd have to go to Cutsforth Campground and I'm afraid to be there all alone, with no communication, in case it goes bad. - I just got a call from Ron, he decided he'd be taking a couple days off to go with me. He was driving me to the dentists, so he'd just include Friday off as well. Whew!

Thursday May 29th

I spent the morning getting ready. Ron put in a half day at work then came home for Rosie, me and the RV, and we drove up to Sunnyside over the back roads. Our visit with the dentist started off well. Then it nosed dived when I expressed some more concerns, and my fears about toxic side effects. I didn't know it but he was keying into his past experiences with hysterical, fearful patients. I was keyed into the possible bad effects of chemicals. I've had some horrendous reactions to chemicals and fear the uncontrollable, traumatic consequences of toxic exposures. He lectured me about how we'd done all this prep work and how having a "positive attitude" is crucial, and the power of positive thinking. @@ My dad used to make me try to bend spoons with my mind, for hours... I've been all over that power of positive thinking thing. It doesn't work. What is, is. That keyed me into a whole different set of issues. But, I kept my mouth shut until a better way to address it occured to me. I was able to offer a compromise and restated that I approach everything by baby steps, if it works - great, if not, figure away around it and move forward. But I won't lie to myself, or anybody else, and pretend its going to be fine. I have had too many experiences where my best laid plans have failed. Yes, we did a lot of careful preparation and planning. But that doesn't guarentee it will work. Yes, having a positive attitude is beneficial to healing, BUT, I have to be careful of chemicals. I can't just tell myself they won't hurt me. I've been in enough situations where I thought nothing was going to hurt me then, whamo! It has gone very, very bad.

Anyway, the critical point for me was the anesthesia injection. Dr. Stevens has a very light touch, when it comes to giving shots. I was relieved to find that I didn't have any immediate, adverse reactions. No lymphoma, no chest pain, no collapse! That was a very good sign. I did get paresthesia (numbness and tingling in the hands and feet, headache (toxic encephalopathy), that sort of thing. He had to cut away some gum tissue to get all the decay. He used a lasar on my gums and hand instruments on my teeth. I was very impressed with his care and skill. He did mention he was having trouble with my gums hemorraghing, but he was exceedingly careful in dealing with it using non-toxic methods. Ron was watching and later told me it wasn't all that much blood. Rosie could smell the blood and set to fussing a bit. The filling cement and materials went in without a problem. I was less concerned about them than the anesthesia. A lot of the the protocols for TIs say that none of the "-caines" are safe for us.

It was after the procedure, when Dr. Stevens expressed what a wonderful patient I was (meaning calm and obedient, I think), that I learned about his past stressful experiences with patients whose fear revolved around dental visits in general. Apparently he's had a few that took 3 people to hold them down. That was why he was trying to talk me into a positive attitude! I reminded him that my issue will always be with the chemicals, I'm not afraid of dentist's instruments, or dentist level of pain, or dentists. I'm not afraid of needles or "knives." I am afraid of the kind of excruciating, life threatening, painful events, that careen out of control in seconds, that I can have from what seem to most people to be innocuous little things. I made sure to tell him how very impressed with his skills that I was. It turned out a lot better than I expected.

Its about 6:30 p.m.

We're still on the road to Cutsforth and my headache is worse. Though still a "mild" toxic encephalopathy, at this point. My jaw is a little sore from all the pushing on it for scraping. I expected that. I've noticed an up tick in the nerve pain in my back teeth, and an increase in puking, but its not "too bad." About every ten minutes. The anesthesia is pretty much resolved from my face, lips and tongue. I'm sipping more of the milk thistle/licorice root tea that I was drinking on the way to the dentist. I was using it proactively to protect my liver, on the way up. Now I'm hoping to speed the toxins through. I've got intense lower back pain -kidney distress. I'm noticing some freaky visual disturbances developing. They started to manifest just after I took a turn at driving. I did the straight parts. Ron was looking exhausted! But about the time we switched back over I realized that things that were standing still were starting to look like they were moving, and that when we were approaching, and going around corners, it appeared that we were going way to fast. Pretty weird.

9:50 p.m.

We arrived at Cutsforth in the dark and set up camp minimally: Leveling. Power. Neither Ron nor I had eaten anything all day. I'd abstained because I didn't want to urp it up during my dental procedure. Then afterwards because I wanted to give my gums time to heal. I did have breakfast, but I hadn't realized Ron had not. So when we got to Cutsforth, we both focused on eating. I discovered nothing was going in or staying in. I tried to do honey for energy. I also discovered I'd lossed urinary function. Since I hadn't been able to keep liquids in, that would be part of it. What little urine I managed to coax out was very dark. More signs of kidney distress. By that time my headache had improved somewhat.

4:00 a.m. I was awakened by Detox pain and intense heat, and "pituitary bleed."

Friday May 30th

Its a beautiful day here. Sunny, with a light breeze. Mid to lower 70°s. Rosie and I got up about 7:30 a.m. and went for a walk around the knob. Ron, bless his heart was so tired he slept in. I've still got that brain encephalopathy, but I'm trying to ignore it. We had an unexpected visitor after we returned, while Ron was still sleeping. I heard all this yapping and thought someone's little dog must have gotten loose and ended up at our site. I looked out the front windshield and here is what I saw.

Do you see him? Here's a cropped pic

I've seen a fair amount of their scat, but this is the first coyote I've seen up here. It was interesting that he knew we were there and didn't care. I could see his ears twitchin' around as he listened to us talk. He even lay down and got comfortable while he continued his yappin'. I asked Ron, he woke up at the noise, if he wanted me to shoo him away but he said it didn't bother him, we were at the coyote's "house."

When Ron got up we fixed our breakfasts and sat outside in the caressing sun and fresh air to eat them. I was eating raw egg and cream cheese, warmed just enough to not gross me out. Ron played naughty and had "raw" s'mores. I just smiled. If he wants to act like a kid on a camping trip, its fine by me. He needs the 'vacation." He drank orange juice so at least he got some C. It was lovely just having company. We also finished setting up camp. I unrolled the small awnings and set out the cones, Ron set up the big awning. Did I tell you about the cones previously? I believe I did, but for new readers, I bought traffic cones and cone sleeves that say, "Do Not Enter." The park lets me put them up on the road just past the spot next to me. It keeps people from blundering into my site and toxing my ass off. Rosie and I carted them down the hill and set them out. Anyway, Ron and I enjoyed our breakfasts, while Rosie ranged to the end of her lead checking out all the interesting sign. When we finished we just sat for a while soaking up the peace, the soothing sounds of the wilderness and the healing rays of the sun. A large crow winged his way over our site. We could hear the woosh of each wing flap. We just smiled at each other. "Cool!"

After awhile Ron got out his fishing gear and stripped the old line, and put on new. There's a fishing pond down the hill in the camp ground. He was looking forward to casting a line over it. I noticed the sun was intensifying the pain behind my eyeballs, and it was time for me to start my protocols anyway, so Rosie and I went in. Ron asked if we wanted to come with him, but since there are a few other campers on the grounds I can't risk the possible exposure to their mosquito poisons. So I told him we could hike to the top of the peak together later. Well, before it got to be turkey hunting time.

Ya know, I didn't even think about dragging him up here with me as a way to get him to take (much needed) vacations. Even though my symptoms aren't very bad, I'm quite pleased with the fact he has to take a "forced vacation" on my account, since he won't take them for his own. Having him here, even if its just nearby when he's out hunting and fishing, helps me to relax. I've lost track of the number of nights I've spent in life threatening situations, alone, wondering if I'll survive, and worrying about Rosie being left all alone, trapped in here.

11:00 a.m.

Its usually not until later that I realize just how "out of it that I was." When I came in and was getting stuff from the fridge I noticed I had forgotten to turn the fridge on last night. I was REALLY out of it! Anyway, I've completed my first round of protocols and am going to relax, let my gums heal and prepare some more roving for spinning. :-) Oh yeah, while Rosie and I were sitting here with the window open enjoying the breeze a ruby throated humming bird came right up to check out our big awning! We (Rosie and I) usually don't unfurl the big awning because I'm not proficient with it yet, and I keep my set up and break down to a minimum in case of toxins forcing us out suddenly. So we've never had this window open in the morning. Usually there's a towel over it to keep the heat out of the RV. Though today its a new blackout curtain I made. One of my recent projects. Living in an RV is a little like living in a tin can. :-} The humming bird was a joy to see! So tiny, and flashy! LOL this one was a pale spring green with lime green. He reminded me of peridot.

2:30 p.m.

I didn't work on my spinning very long when Ron showed up wearing a big ol grin. "How's the fishing?" I asked. He tried to fake a glum attitude but he couldn't pull it off. He'd caught (and released) a couple dozen. Plus a little 3 year old girl with her grandparents came by and wanted to touch his fish. "Ooh, icky!" She said, but she touched it again and said it was pretty. He got a giggle out of that. He offered to let her take that one home but her grandma veto'd that idea real quick. After lunch and a few more minutes of story telling we decided to take that walk. We started up the knob using the usual route. Now when Ron walks in the woods its at a speed that more resembles a "forced march" than anything else. He doesn't have a mosey. As we crossed the top of the knob we switched to following the road. We headed up the next stretch to the saddle. I reminded him that I have to go slow. I was also telling him about how many cell phone bars I'd got at each location. He asked if I thought he could go back down to the RV and get his cell and catch back up before I would get to the top of the rise. Oh yeah. So he went back. Rosie and I kept meandering, or moseying, or even plodding along, if you like. Then we heard a truck start up way below us. And we heard a bunch of dogs start barking in the canyon bottom just over the hill to the right. Uh-oh. I had visions of 'Frontline' (highly toxic) wearing, exuberant dogs converging on us. We continued for a ways, keeping our ears focused on the progress of the truck and the whereabouts of the dogs. As we neared the top, no returning Ron. Surprised me. I was sure he'd catch back up to us before we crested the saddle. Unfortunately it became obvious that the truck was coming up the road behind us. We baled off the road and into the brush. I figured it was the property owner of the cabin just around the bend from where I was standing. I didn't want to get fumed by the car exhaust, so we dove into the woods. I went far enough down the mountain side that I was encircled by conifers. Nature's air purifiers. It worked. It turned out the truck was a white jeep. It drove passed and I wasn't toxed. I decided I'd best head back down the hill in case the property owners had a dog of their own. We climbed the hill back to the road and began our desent. Only the white jeep reappeared behind us. Oh crap. We were on a section of the road that had steep embankments above and below us. We couldn't get off the road. So I did the only thing left for me to do. I ran. I'm not sure if the earth trembled or the sky darkened where you are, but me running is practically a miraculous event, so it should have. Anyway, I ran down that road, decrepit and damaged body parts flailing about, with the white jeep in hot pursuit. Down the road I pelted, long dark braid bouncing out behind, new, shorter hairs springing loose from confinement, standing straight out and waving about madly. My normally tidy, though eccentric, appearance devolved into that of an all out crazy woman in just a few seconds. Ron appeared on the road bellow us at the next spot where the terrain leveled out. As soon as we got to him we baled off the road again, and ran on by, into the woods. He intercepted the white jeep. I was afraid he was going to get a chewing out, but it wasn't a land owner. It was a service technician looking for a particular cabin. He was trying to catch me to ask directions. @@ I have no idea what he thought, or if Ron bothered to explain my predicament. Ron sent him back down the mountain to talk to David. I was pretty spent. I had to rest a bit before we could go on. I didn't want to give up. I've made it my goal to hike to the very top of the mountain this summer. My best chance would be with Ron there to help me out of confrontations. So I suggested we go on up to the saddle before the white truck came back. This time we made it past the last cabin site and crossed onto forrest service land. This is that place where all the trees were blown down that I mentioned last trip. We climbed around in there for 30 minutes or so. We were having a good time, even though we weren't making much progress t'word the peak. I felt my body giving me "low energy" signals and had to sit down on a big rock and rest. Ron wandered about with his cell phone held up checking for bars. The best he could get was one. We decided to explore the saddle more thoroughly and wandered back t'word the campground. We could look right out across the canyon at our RV perched on the hill below us. At that point I had to tell Ron I needed to head back. So back we came. I'm ashamed to say I even had to have him carry my water bottle the last part of the hike. :-p I'm resting again, intending to take a nap. Ron, ever in motion, went down to the camp ground to talk to David and call Justin on the camphost phone, to arrange his ride out tomorrow. :-}

4:00 p.m.

When Ron returned he told me that he discovered that he went to high school with David and Roberta's daughter! When Roberta found out she called her daughter and handed Ron the phone. LOL. Small world. They had a nice chat. It was getting close to turkey hunting time so Ron started getting ready... Here'a a pic

He says he's not all that excited about shooting one. He's more interested in if he can call one in. Its the end of the season, so the hens are sitting quietly on their nests and the Toms aren't as crazy. I'm glad he's taking his shot gun anyway. That's cougar and bear country.

8:00 p.m. Or there abouts

David came up to check on me and see if Ron had got back down. It was about 6:30. I told him that I expected Ron around dark. Then Ron surprised me by getting back about a quarter past 7:00 or so. No turkeys. No wildlife. He did get to the top. He said there's a fence up there with "no hunting, no trespassing" signs, owned by a private outfitter.

I got finished turning that roving into sliver and did some spinning. Then switched to my evening protocols. Ron's having spaghetti that I made at home and put it in the freezer for him. I can't eat this late, but I'll try a little milk or herbal tea before bed.

Saturday May 31st

10:00 a.m.

Last night Ron had some trace on him, even after he changed to his RV clothes. Probably on his head and face from all of his encounters with different people during the day. I started getting lymph reactions that got progressively worse until I had him shower. I left a vent open all night and ran both air purifiers. Which means no heat. Neither of us were anxious to get up this morning. Rosie was, though. She rousted me out of my warm snuggly bed with a cold wet nose to the eye. Ummmm, thanks Rosie! It was actually warmer outside. Lol I had my usual almost raw egg smoothie ( and found out I was still urping), and made french toast, fried in butter for Ron. He actually said they were better than he's ever gotten in a restuarant. It must be because I served them up with plenty of fresh piney air and sunshine. ;-)

Alex, Justin and Joey are coming up for lunch and to give Ron a lift home today. So Ron went fishing early. I did up the dishes, and got to work on my protocols. Today, I'll need to work in some acupuncture. I took a pic of my repaired tooth. I didn't think it looked all that different from a regular tooth (amazing dental work), and its kind of blurry, so I won't post it. I wanted to check on how my gums were healing. Looks pretty good. :-)

9:00 p.m.

Ron and the kids left about 5:00. Its always the hardest right after everybody leaves. The loneliness rushes in like water breaching a boat hull. I had downloaded a new book before we left home just for this moment, so I read it. Pat McManus' "The Tamarack Murders: A Bo Tully Mystery." I didn't find it as engaging as the other Bo Tully Mysteries, but I can't tell you if that was Pat's fault or mine. I'll have to read it again sometime before I can decide. While I was reading I glanced up, and right outside my window was a huge tom turkey! LOL Ron tried so hard to call one in, and not long after he leaves we get a personal visit. I tried to take a pic but they're wiley critters and the pic came out blurred as he rushed away.

It was good to see the kids. Apparently Joey was sick all night with a fever. Alex had been up with him. She was a titch grouchy. His nose is still running. Its been running since his last DPT shot. SMH I think thats about the time they also started letting him eat wheat, and processed dairy. I've mentioned to them about withholding the wheat. I haven't mentioned the process dairy yet... I don't want to be the pushy mother. Heh, heh. Or is that "always be" the pushy mother. I do try to filter it! Anyway, Joey loves to climb in and out of grandma's RV. His little legs can't even do one step so someone has to lift him up each step. Grandma's abs got quite a work out. 50+ reps of 4 "steps." Ron and the kids had hot dogs, roasted over the fire topped with some B-B-Q Beef I'd put up for Ron, and reheated on the cooktop. Of course they roasted marshmallows and made s'mores for desert. Joey wasn't feeling like eating much. He had cheese and raisins. It was fun to watch them enjoying themselves. It seemed to me that getting out into the woods refreshed them as much as it refreshed Ron. They all looked more relaxed by the end of the afternoon.

I did have to spend a lot of time yesterday jumping up and going into the RV everytime someone drove or walked up the road. The wind was blowing up from the canyon floor yesterday. The cones held them off from coming all the way into our camp. I get that they're just exploring. They wanted to see were the road went. I'm thankful they were respectful of the cones.

Rosie's pretty glum that the rest of her family left. She was so excited when they arrived she was flipping around in the air on the end of her lead! Now, she's moping. Poor thing. She doesn't even want her toys.

Sunday June 1st

8:00 a.m.

Rosie and I got up not long after 7:00 and took our hike up the knob. We spooked a big buck. Well, I'm guessing it was a buck. I saw its legs and hindquarters. It was alone, and its thumps, as it bounded away, seemed too heavy for a doe. Plus it stopped not far into the trees and huffed and sniffed to find out what we were. The huffing was really loud. It sounded like it was right on the other side of the tree from me. I checked. Not there. Then he stamped his foot impatiently until we finished our business and left. On the way back down the hill we flushed that big ol tom turkey. He got up not 5 feet from us. That surprised the heck out of Rosie! I let her sniff his bed and told her what a good girl she was for finding the turkey. Repeatedly. She looked like she needed convincing. Once we got back to the camper, Rosie climbed up on her seat and resumed moping. She's not eating. I'm regurging, so I'm not eating either. I'm trying to get in some burdock and ginger root tea. I'm not having much success. I didn't get to the acupuncture needles yesterday. I'll try those this morning.

2:00

I did the acupuncture needles and the acu-pen. I'd been continuing to regurgetate and finally gagged up a "rock." I think I've developed a diverticuli of the esophagus. It collects solids and compresses them into a lump. Its kind of like those things you get in your tonsils, only these are bigger. They tend to be almost the size of the first section of my baby finger. Yeah, they hurt coming up. So I pin-cusioned myself and zapped the heck out of anything I thought might help. I've got some sore spots but feel better. I still couldn't get the burdock tea in. I decided to try eggnog. Milk, egg, turbinado. That worked. Finally. I was getting worried there. Here in a bit I'll try some C water. I definitely need the fluids. My urine is very dark.

To pass the time I read the second book I downloaded, "Common Poisonous Plants." I figured I should learn what they are so I don't blunder into those, too. There are a lot of toxic plants! I had no idea! I wouldn't recommend the book though. The pictures were very small, often blurry, and did not give accurate representations of the plant, such that you would be able to identify them. I need a better digital plant book.

I fixed Rosie's not eating. I gave her all the solids from the soup I tried (unsuccessfully) eating last night. Meat, carrots, celery, and garlic. I mixed in a raw egg, too. She was very happy to help me out with that. I was so hungry last night that I tried heating up some soup and straining off the broth for me. I was hanging on to it more or less. But the veggies and meat were so tasty looking! I just had to try one small spoonful. Just a bite really. I even chewed it very carefully. Mistake. I spent several hours puking that back up. :-( I got a few hours sleep before it started up again this morning. Thats why Rosie got the solids. They still looked really tasty.

8:14 p.m.

I spent the afternoon working on the spreadsheet Dr. Stevens wanted me to prepare so he can keep track of my reactions. I was getting pretty weak so I went ahead and made eggnog, with sugar. Sugar relaxes the LES. I was able to get that in. Things started to improve after that. I still had some more stuff to gag up, but my digestive system has been coming back on line. I took Rosie out and discovered the landowners were in residence closest to me. They were enjoying a campfire. I heard the woman talking to a guy and her dog about the time I realized my skin was burning. I don't know if that was from her chemicals, something they were burning or the dog's chemicals. If they're still there tomorrow I may have to leave. I washed when I came in but it looks like I may have to take a complete shower and bag my clothes.

Monday June 2nd

8:00 a.m.

Rosie insisted I get up at 6:45. She hadn't got to pee last night. She was dawdling and more interested in the cabin owners and their dog than getting her business done. I tried to cheat and just run her out the door on her lead while I stayed inside. That way I didn't have to get dressed and could go back to bed. Unfortunatly she refused to do her business on the gravel. Sigh. So I hauled her back in and got dressed. As soon as I stepped out side I could smell the mustiness from the cabin. They must have been burning old stuff from in there. They've been cleaning it up. I'm wondering (idly) if they're new owners. Anyway, since there is no breeze we can smell it all. Musty, a little moldy. I took Rosie to the far side of our campsight, which is on the other side of the hill. Instead of climbing the knob this morning we went down the hill a little ways. There aren't many people in the campground this morning, and none close. It was new territory for Rosie so she took her time checking everything out. I was wondering what the urgency in rousting me out of bed was, since she now didn't appear to be in that big of a hurry to get her business done. @@

The cabin owners are still there. I can see the front bumper of their car. I guess I'll have to make that decision. I'll be looking for a couple of things: wind, its direction, and if they burn more junk. Rosie and I won't be going out much today, not unless we get a stiff breeze from the North.

I did bring my guitar along this time. I haven't played it since 1996. One of the adverse effects of that first pesticide poisoning where I got sprayed with Monitor (an organophosphate insecticide) was that it made my skin very fragile. If I bumped it, it split open. Pressing guitar strings was no longer possible. Since I'm stuck in here today, I'll try alternating guitar playing with spinning. I made sure to download some music too. Not only is all my other music printed (and therefore toxic) I was a fragranced person, so there will be fragrance on the pages as well. I had to give up my bible for the same reasons. It wasn't just my fragrance on its pages, but the fragrances of all the perfume wearers from church! Oiy!!! Erks me. I had some really great notes in the margins!

9:45 a.m.

David came up to warn me that the cabin people had seen a large grey wolf on the ridge above them, yesterday. Thats the place Ron and I were on Friday. We haven't seen any wolf sign, just coyote.David was concerned because Rosie and I go out walking. As the wolf lopes, thats not much distance between where he was seen and where we walk. Actually, its the same distance to our site from his lookout. I'll have to carry my gun. I asked David if the guy was sure it was a wolf and not just a coyote. Apparently it was bigger than his german shepherd. So yeah, if thats true, wolf. I'm not sure what to think about this. I mentioned to David that I thought it was the coyote. That the coyote I'd seen was grey. But for the sake of possibility... Wolves are generally retiring. They're not as elusive as cougars. Both will try to avoid people but could be tempted to try to take a dog. I wonder if it coukd be a re-planted wolf, or a dumped hybrid? or one that's natural? Most preditors have learned that people are an easy source of food. Our garbage is their next feast. In fact I've been noticing a few oyster shells in the brush around one of the cabins. When Ron and I were out walking we spotted a garbage bag full of oyster and clam shells that some critter had been trying to drag off. Whatever it was could have been watching the campground because Monday evening of Memorial weekend was a big feast day. He could have been hoping for a repeat. Anyway, I'll keep an eye out. I'll be mulling this one over for a while. Rosie's due to come into heat next week...

David also told me that the people in the cabin are leaving today. So I guess I get to stay until tomorrow.

Tuesday June 3rd

Broke camp and headed for home. David stopped me on the way out. He'd had a close encounter with the coyote. He decided I was right. The cabin guy just thought it was a wolf. Things do look bigger when you're looking up hill at them.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

I was just too tired to drive from home to Cutsforth after my Dr apt yesterday. I stopped at home, hoping it was safe enough to stay, just maybe. Nope. But, I couldn't go on. I unloaded my dirty laundry and just enough food to eat that night. Only I couldn't. I began puking and it didn't let up. My skin burned and my lips peeled. The roof of my mouth became sore; chloracne developed on my eardrums and inside my ear canals, as well as behind my ears. All of the soft tissue of my face hurt more than my poor plagued teeth. The bodies perception of pain is gated, so at least it felt like my teeth hurt less. My guts ached and my pancrease was screaming such that by 4:00 a.m. I was doubled over. I had the laundry done by 7:30 a.m and even got another blackout panel completed while I waited for Ron to get up. He filled my fresh water for me and then went to work, and I followed him as soon as I pulled the last load from the dryer. I went by my favorite gas station, then to the parking lot at his office and waited until he was through with meetings. I could tell the grounds keepers at his office building use some nasty chemicals. Even in the RV I developed a migraine. I'm floored at how pervasive our societies use of really toxic chemicals has become. Then we went to the nearby RV park so Ron could empty my grey and black water tanks. I had one more daunting task to accomplish. O.k. Not really. But I told myself that because I knew if I thought about all the things I had to do before I could curl up and pass out, I'd come undone. So I focused on getting back up to Cutsforth Campground, keeping my RV on the road, being careful so I didn't miss any stop signs, or road hazards. Its hard to do when your body's in that much pain and you have loose (truck) steering, with a 10 mph cross wind on the body of a 30ft RV. I bought a Safe-T-Plus steering control bar to help with that but they've been spraying so much I haven't been home long enough to get it installed. Anyway, I took my time driving the winding roads, and was extra cautious going through the towns. I had to keep reminding myself to sit up straight as my guts were still so painful I kept finding myself hunched over the steering wheel. But I made it. I pulled into the campground and stopped to check with the camphost to make sure there hadn't been anymore spraying. Man, I feel paranoid!

I found out that the camp hosts are fragrance free! David is a cancer survivor. You know I hadn't asked because I hate to be that pushy. But it came up in Roberta's and my 'through the glass' conversation. So I opened the door and we had a nice chat. It actually was very revitalizing. I was then able to drive up the hill and get my 30 foot Escape Pod jockied around and set up. It had finally been long enough that the glyphosate had finished volatizing and I could open the vents and windows to get some fresh air in here! Sigh of relief! Rosie and I were planning on taking a nice long walk over the knob above us. I'd checked with David to see if it was o.k. to hike there since it wasn't park property, and he'd got me permission from the land owners. Then I heard the whine of an engine, and saw a midsized green truck climbing up the winding road beneath me. I shut everything back down. It was the maintanance guys. They came to work on the water again. It still wasn't working right. They had decided they needed to replace the frost-free. So Rosie and I changed our plans and watched them get out shovels and dig up the old one. When they pulled out the new unit they discovered they didn't have the correct fittings. They jumped back in their rig and headed back to town. Well, I couldn't risk gettong caught out when they returned so I remined myself I needed a nap anyway. But first I decided to jump through the shower and wash out the clothes I had on. Then I made a cup of herbal tea to take away that migraine, and curled up on the couch for a nice nap. I woke up a couple of hours later when the guys got back. It didn't take them very long to get the new frost-free installed and they zipped out of here. Rosie and I waited until the site had a chance to air out then we set out on a nice long ramble up the hill and through the woods in the glorious fresh piney air and sunshine. We managed to get in 2 walks today! So much better! Everything's starting to feel better too. Finally a break in my pain! My stomach quit hurting and I'm keeping food down again with minimal puking. My teeth are just a little sore. My brains are coming back. I remembered all the stuff I was supposed to order when I was home, but couldn't for the life of me drag the thoughts out of my brain. I wrote it down this time. And now its time for Rosie and I to go to bed. :-)

Thursday May 22, 2014

I slept in until almost 9:00! I woke up feeling very refreshed. It was such a relief. I decided to take Rosie out for a short walk around the knob before breakfast. I did eat a small piece of very dark chocolate and a dab of honey just so I wouldn't crash from using up all my energy. The sun was shining, the birdies tweeting. It was lovely. So I threw on some clothes, jeans and a T-shirt I'd rinsed out from the day before, and out we went. We angled up the side hill, Rosie sniffing every interesting varmit trail she came across. I was noticing the activity of hungry, excited bumble bees as they visited the low growing mats of what looked like a short form of Oregon grape, wild strawberries and various other tiny purple and white flowers that I don't know the names of. I wondered if the Audabon books came in digital copies? We hadn't been out very long, I'd guess about 3 min. when I came across what looked like 2 cherry tomatoes laying on the ground. Well I'd left my glasses in the RV so I bent down for a closer look. I thought maybe some bird had dropped them, and wondered if one of the cabin owners had a small garden. I noticed some others that were different shaped and more brown with red and then a completely open mushroom that was red around the edges and had a progressively darker brown center. Mystery solved. I made a mental note to tell David about them, as he'd mentioned he was out yesterday hunting mushrooms.

I hadn't taken even 3 more steps when whammo! Searing lymphoma pain in my right arm pit, spreading across my chest. What the hell was going on?! Could it be that there was still a contaminant on the shirt that I hadn't gotten rinsed out? The pain escalated and I was suffused with cloying heat. I moved into the shade of a tree. Porphyria? The pain eased a little, then returned. I was in agony, and madly trying to massage the blocked lymph. O.k. Not Porphyria. I began to feel naseous, and my body dearly wanted to hurl. But I couldn't. My LES had locked up! O' shit, O damn! I was in big trouble. The only thing I could think of was the shirt. As the intensity of the pain magnified I fought the urge to rip off my T-shirt and fling it away from me. The rational part of my brain reminded me that "me, streaking half naked through the forest," (I can't wear bras because of my lymphoma) would not be a good character reference to those cabin owners, should they happen to see me, that had given me permission to hike on their land. O.K, streaking isn't accurate, it was more like staggering and stumbling. Regardless, Rosie and I made our way back to the RV as quickly as possible, shirt still in place, and feeling as though it was draining the life out of me. I fought with the lock and got us both inside. I shucked my clothes as soon as I got the door shut, no improvement. I washed my face. Better. I gulped magnesium/C water, better. I scooped up the clothes and sealed them in bags. My symptoms did not get worse when I handled them. Huh?! It also didn't lesson my symptoms to seal them away. What else could it have been? Could it possibly have been the mushroom? Or would that make it a toadstool? I was certainly going to ask David when he came by! I've never even seen a toadstool before in my life. What are the chances that that would be one, and I'd find it? @@ Terrific (sarcasm)! Anyway I put on a light dress, I was still swelteringly hot, like I'd run 3 miles, and turned on the air conditioner. I managed to get my LES to relax, then to get in some raw egg and cream cheese, as well as a little more honey and chocolate. Then I sat down to rest. I realized I was shaking. It wasn't too long before Rosie reminded me that she hadn't had a chance to get her "business" done. She notified me by passing a very ghastly stinky! So we hobbled, o.k., I hobbled -she pranced, back out but we didn't go very far. When we got back I decided I needed to rinse my hair as well. That improved my symptoms also. I grabbed the acupuncture needles and the zapper and brewed a cup of lymph thinning and detox tea. I had to alternate it with milk. I felt a bit better. I have a homeopathic called Lymphomyasote. I tried that. It made it worse. I tried oil pulling. The result was a mild improvement. Back and forth over all the immune boosters, detox methods and lymph treatments I know, still not sure what caused it. I was tempted to go take a photo of the mushroom suspect, but didn't want the repeat exposure if that was the source. When David came up at noon to check on me he confirmed that it was, indeed, a very poisonous mushroom! And since one was open, it was casting spores. Since I'd bent down to examine them (I didn't even touch them!)... There you go! I wonder what the range of a mushroom spore is? Huh, it reminds me of that Star Trek episode where they were poisoned by the flower spores. Great, my life is bordering on science fiction. @@ @@ @@ O' brother!!! Being me is such a PAIN!!!!!!!!!Ya' know, this kind of crap is just crazy! If it wasn't happening to me, I would be inclined not to believe it. But I swear, its all true! So the remainder of today will be a rest day. I learned a very important lesson, "Avoid red things in the woods." Now I'm wondering about snakes...

5:09 p.m.

Admittedly I have a very low boredom threashold. I took Rosie on a short walk this afternoon. Its such a lovely day, I just couldn't stay inside. I kept a look out for any red things lying on the ground, and stayed well away from those ones I found this morning. Nothing bad happened. I know! Amazing right? I did see some creamy tan mushrooms like the ones you buy in the store, but I left them well alone. No need to find out the hard way if they're toxic or not. I also saw some chocolate brown ones with a slightly ruffled, tan edge. I gave them a wide berth, too.

So about 3:00 I decided I was feeling good enough to make supper. Soup of course. Lots of veggies, venison and a bone broth base. Yum. :-) I dumped in some organic heavy whipping cream. One thing about this remineralizing your teeth diet, its rich! O' yeah, when I was home I found out I'd lost a couple more pounds. Its eating all this butter, cheese and cream. I'm eating more food now than before I got the achalasia. If you've read my healthy weight loss paper you'd know why it works.

Did I tell you about the tooth pick thing? My dentist has me cleaning my teeth with a tooth pick. Every tooth, front and back. You press the point down on the gum between each tooth and draw the tooth pick up along the adjacent teeth. My teeth are really clean! I've always resisted flossing because my teeth are so close together, and it takes so much force to get the floss in there; I always hurt my gums. Now that they are getting healthier, flossing is working better. I'm also using a silk floss without any wax (petroleum), or flavoring on it and that makes them (the gums) happier as well.

Friday May 23, 2014

Last night I had the windows and vents open. It was lovely to enjoy the fresh air. But my lymph began to act up again. I shut them down. I figured someone unleashed a bunch of mosquito spray. I couldn't smell anything, but thats my best guess. So I had to jump through all the hoops again last night. I'm feeling kind of groggy today. The weather seams to be matching my mood. Grey, overcast. I was thinking of taking my cell phone to the top of the knob to see if I could get reception up there. I'll keep an eye on the weather. If it clears, I think we'll try it. Other than that, I'm just spinning. It takes a lot of time to spin up a skein.

10:10

It cleared up quite a bit so Rosie and I headed up the hill. When we got to the top of the knob I fired up my cell phone. I got 2 bars but couldn't place a call. So we climbed up to the next saddle. It was up past the last cabin. I was able to get 3 bars, but still not able to place a call. There was one more incline to the top; its very steep and littered with downed trees. Rosie and I spent 15 minutes making our way through that, but we didn't get very far. We're working on her learning to go around things on the same side as I do. Those downed poles were a real circus! I realized I didn't have the health to be doing it. So we picked the easiest route and circled back. All in all we had an hour's ramble through the woods. The most anxiety, for me, was when we approached cabins. If there was a person or dog there I could have been hurt terribly. But no one was there. David said so, but I can't afford to assume those kinds of things are true. We did come across another red mushroom, but it had spent its spores, and did me no harm. It looked like a brown and black, curled leaf until I was right on top of it. I found a survey monument. Probably only of interest to people who've worked in the field. It was initialed "SC." I'll try to remember to ask Ron who that is/was.We also used the 'road' more than usual. It was easier walking. We followed it out until we located the last cabin. Then we came back. I could tell I needed a rest. Rosie had a lovely time. Looks like she's already taking a nap. If it can be considered napping with her pink tongue hanging out of her mouth. ;-)

11:00

We napped about an hour. The weather turned again. So I spent the day spinning, reading and doing protocols. Rosie is bored with being cooped up in the RV. In parks she must stay on the lead. She longs to run. Poor thing. I totally empathize with her. She missed the rest of her family. Me too.

Saturday May 24, 2014

I woke up with congested lymph. There are 5 other campers in the park now and the cabin owner nearest me is in residence. I'm guessing its all their chemicals, including mosquito repellents. I'm trying to decide if it might be less toxic back home. I have to consider that some of my neighbors might be doing yard work, i.e. spraying. I want to go home. When I was home last it was toxic both inside and outside. I think Ron relaxed the rules a bit thinking since I wasn't there, I wouldn't be effected. He'd left a couple of bags of mail un-sealed (I found them). Mail is very toxic. All those printing chemicals, peoples perfumes and fragrances, and diesel and gas fumes from transport. People don't realize that toxins become trapped in the home when it doesn't effect them in an obvious way, like it does with TIs. With each new toxin brought in, the level gets higher. Most inside air is way more toxic than outside air - unless there's spraying or other forms of environmental contamination. He may have, also, left his outworld clothing bins open, or unsealed. His clothes from the office (highly toxic environment) and farming (diesel) are in there. If I go home and the pesticide has dissipated, I may still be unable to enter my home. It took me months to clean out the contaminants from the last time. I don't have the energy to do it all again. If I did go home and stay in the RV, at least I'd have internet and cell. Of course I have no way of knowing if someone else left me a spray message until I get back down into cell range... So I'm sitting here trying to determine if my pain is getting worse or better, and at what point do I decide I've tolerated it enough? Its that frog in the pot analogy. It the pain grows slowly you (the frog sitting a pan of water, then turning the heat on) stay in the pot until your cooked. If the pain is sudden and dramatic (like dropping a frog into boiling water) you get out of there! I'd rather not wait until I'm so sick its unsafe to drive. But then again, is any place else going to be safer.

9:06

David came up to check on me and let me know thre were a whole lo of campers down there, with lots more coming. I could tell it was worrying him. I took the hint. I left for home.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Did you catch that episode of "According to Jim" where he walks into his kitchen to find his brother-in-law eating a cube of butter, and dipping it in a bowl of sugar? They called them "Shame Sticks." I remember how I laughed and thought, who would ever do such a thing?! And now, minus the sugar, I'm eating little 1/8 - 1/4 teaspoon sized pats of (organic, pasture raised) butter, several times a day, to save my teeth! I'm still surprised by how effective putting a lump of butter, alternated with a little organic raw honey on a tooth ache was! My teeth are getting better. Definitely less pain, and they feel more solid. I can't believe I haven't mentioned it before now, I'm following the remineralize your teeth diet in "Cure Tooth Decay Naturally with Nutrition". It involves a lot of grass fed, chemical free raw dairy, cod liver oil, vegetables and bone broth.

I'm in exile again. Cutsforth Campground this time. No cell, no internet. We're the only guests up here today. So we get to wander around and take walks. If you'll remember, I had just got home on Monday, unloaded the RV and did laundry. I got the call Tuesday. /:-( I was cleaning house and trying to play catch-up on all the things that go undone while I'm gone. I was also trying to work on some sewing projects I had waiting. A long sleeve (organic) T-shirt, and blackout curtains for the RV. The sun comes up at 5:00. Much too early. Those white privacy curtains really light up! I can't sleep through it. Anyway, I'd agreed to watch Joey this coming Friday, as the regular daycare lady was not available. (Oh boy! Grandma gets Joey time!!) The spray guys made me break my word and lose out on spending time with my grandson, and I'm not very happy about it. I had to drop everything I was doing and change gears. I then busted my ass reloading the RV. @@ Again. @@ @@ I made a run for raw milk to the Tri-cities on Wednesday, refilled the fresh water and clipped Rosie. I'd brought the scissors and electric clippers along on the last trip but the weather was stormy up at Emigrant Springs and the thought of all that loose dog hair inside the RV was daunting. I spent a few hours carding wool so I'd have some ready to spin. I have to keep supplied with hand projects or I'll go nuts! Have I shown you my spinning wheel set up? I had bought some furniture tie downs from the baby department on Amazon (for keeping toddlers from pulling furniture over on themselves) and fastened it to the wall for travelling. (The other straps are for my little washing machine, which is still outgassing.)

We left at 7:00 this morning (Thursday). I'm relieved to report our trip up here this time was uneventful. No roadside spraying. No crazy drivers. I talked to the Park Grounds Manager (different than the manager that handles the reservations) who did the spraying up here last week. He had no idea that I was TI, or that I come here for exile. Its a new position for him. He's on the same page now, and was even open to my emailing him some info on horticultural vinegar. Its different than grocery vinegar which is 3-5% acedic acid. Horticultural vinegar is 10, 15 or 20% acedic acid and works very well as a safe burn down herbicide (you can order it from Amazon or your local garden center). You generally see results in an hour. He assures me they won't be spraying anymore nasty herbicide up here this season. I gave him my number just in case.

So we're here. Its warm out, with a soft breeze blowing. Rosie and I did take a walk down through the empty campground but every once in a while I'd catch a bit of toxin (lymph pain and swelling in my jaw) so we came back to the RV and I washed up and changed clothes, and rinsed Rosie. Tomorrow will be safer. I also didn't see any dead weeds... Glyphosate usually takes 10 days for die down. We'll see.

Oh yeah, the lambie recovered! She's a little stunted. Her legs are short. But she's running and playing with the other lambs, and she comes running for her bottle. ;-)

Saturday May 17, 2014

Well I asked if they could turn on the water up here this time because I have a doctor apt Tuesday and wanted a shower before it. I didn't want to run out of water while covered in soap. Only the water was "on," it just wasn't working. So Thursday evening and a good share of Friday I had helpful maintainance guys crawling all over our site, fixing the water. Rosie and I stayed in all that evening and all day Friday (except for slipping out early and late for pottying). I reread Lorena McCourtney's "Ivy Malone Mysteries." They're the books that inspired me to get the RV in the first place. The maintenance guys did get the water running, sorta. They thought maybe the lift pump was out, but it checked out o.k. Eventually they decided something must be blocking the line. One gentleman went into the woods and cut a long thin hard bough, trimmed it back of all its branches and plunged the stand pipe. So there is some water that flows out now. Enough for that shower if I need it. I won't hook up to their water unless I get really, really low. I'd hate for all my water to run backwards into their system, since it kinda looks like I might have more gravity feed pressure than they do coming out of their pipe. RV water systems are designed for about 35 psi incoming pressure. I'll have Ron look at it if he and Justin make it up here turkey hunting today. Having a husband who is an engineer does have its uses. ;-)

Rereading the books (I have 4) was a very pleasant break from my cyclical, worn out thoughts. The only problem was that when I got done, I was left with the stark contrast between Ivy Malone's (fictional) life and the horrible loneliness of mine. The lonliness is a heartbreaking burden. It is so bad it is physically painful. Its almost as bad as the torturous pain that I've endured from toxic exposures. A very close second. In fact, so close that many TIs risk exposing themselves hoping it will only be "a little" just so they can have some human interaction. Its rarely a little. Something I've learned the hard way. The problem is, people were designed to relate with others. Its inherent within us to long for companionship. Being in isolation just doesn't work. Even the most harden criminals need social interaction. That's why solitary confinement is used as a punishment in prisons. For many TIs the cell phone and internet relieve some of that, allowing us to make contact with others without the chemical exposures. Its not as effective as face to face contact, but its better than nothin'! Unless of course you're also elctro-magnetically sensitive. Being up here at the campground I experience the complete isolation that EMF sufferers, who are also chemically sensitive, have. It reminds me that there are people much worse off than me. Even so, I still miss real face to face human contact.

Sunday May 18,2014

I woke up this morning to a steady, light rain. Rosie, who is equally bored with being confined in the RV took 30 min. to select an appropriate place to potty. We were standing in a small clearing on the hill side, in the forest. To me it looks like every square foot is a perfect place to potty! But no, not according to Rosie. Some dog manuals say give them three minutes, then go back in. But it had been 13 hrs since she last pee'd. I'm amazed she can hold it that long. When she did go, it was a lot. I figure she must have very real doggy reasons for being so selective. And even if its just because she's enjoying the break, I can't blame her. We'd go for a walk but I'm still picking up crap that inflames my jaw. The property we were on for her potty spot is not park property (Its behind our camp). It hasn't been sprayed. While they don't mind a little bit of encroachment, we can't take our walk there. It would be rude. So we're still pretty much confined.

Ron and Justin didn't come. With out communication, I have no idea why. It could have been that Ron forgot he said he would stop by. Or, that he ended up not going turkey hunting. That may have been because the kids went somewhere for the weekend, and he didn't want to go out alone. Or he was having trouble with farming. He was going to disc and re-seed the hay field. I just hope no one's hurt. Its hard not knowing.

I worked on knitting a sweater with some of my handspun yarn yesterday. I finished one ball and started another in the middle of the right front piece. I'm not happy with it. The color change is obvious.

That happens with naturally colored fleece. They aren't a solid color. The wool is many different shades and varies from one part of the sheep to the other. So sometimes there's a definite color change. I didn't break the yarn. Instead I have switched to spinning. I'm hoping this next skein will come out closer in appearance to the one I used to make the left front, and began the right front piece with. Then I'll just undo the darker part and re-knit it with the lighter (if it turns out lighter, and not too light) yarn. My other option is to start completely over with the darker ball. We'll see.

3:00 p.m.

Ron showed up. It turns out Justin had too much to do to go hunting yesterday, so Ron disced the field. Then today he went out and did a Water Rights job in Pilot Rock. He took his shotgun and went turkey hunting on his way home. He came around the back way and stopped by to visit for an hour. It was thankfully during a lull in the rain. We policed the campsite. The last people that used it left trash all over. One was a smoker who left cigarette butts everywhere. Imagine standing next to a fire and not even bothering to toss your used butts in!? Then they pitched an empty propane bottle over the bank, along with some other trash. They also tossed their beer cans, bottles and food cans into the fire. Those things don't burn... SMH. So we cleaned things up a bit while we visited. I'm looking forward to sitting around the fire when the kids come up some Sunday afternoon. Did I tell you I reserved this spot for the rest of the season? That way it will be available whenever I need it, and I won't have to stress about where to go.

Ron told me I had a call from my EI doctor's nurse. My mineral panel came back. She wanted me to get right in and get two minerals started ASAP, that I had zero in my blood. He couldn't remember which ones. I'm assuming that call was Thursday evening. I'm going to have to wait until Tuesday now.

Monday May 19, 2014

Its overcast with everything from thin wispies to rolling thunderheads, but no rain. The ceiling is low, with the clouds scraping and shredding themselves on the nearby mountaintops. I'm feeling kind of groggy since I was up at 3:00 with jaw pain. I made some milk thistle and licorice root tea. Licorice both thins lymph and relieves pain & inflammation. The milk thistle was to help my body to detoxify and excrete the toxins. Since I was up I stabbed myself with a few accupuncture needles and did some electro-puncture treagtments. I know I got it moving because now the other side of my face hurts, too. @@ I do get incredibly tired of pain and symptoms, and chasing them around my body. I fantasize about being healthy. I daydream about being able to live a fairly normal life and go about my business uninterrupted by toxins, and illness. That's sad. O.k. Pathetic is probably a better word. The worst part is its true... Pathetic is not what I ever wanted to be. I'm rather mad at Disney. You know, because they schlep the lie that you can be what ever you want to be, "dare to dream because dreams really do come true." Trust me; this is not what I dreamed of for my grandma years! It wasn't any part of my plans for any part of my life.

8:00 p.m. Went out to grab my cones so I didn't forget in the morning. My teeth are lilling me!

Tuesday May 20, 2014

Up at 5:30, broke camp and headed for my Dr apt. It was a 3.5 hr drive, in the RV. Oiy! Turns out my new dentist got his wires crossed and didn't forward the samples to be tested. So its rescheduled for next week. Hopefully it won't be from Cutsforth. Anyway. I had three minerals that I was completely deficient in: molybdenum, chromium and cobalt. All the others were low. So I got a mineral drip. I also went to te health food store for raw milk. O.k. Driving a 30' RV through down town traffic is no picnic. I'm doing a laundry pitstop at home. I can't decide if its worse here, skin burning, puking or up there with swollen inflamed jaw...

Monday, May 12, 2014

Whew! I'm finally tucked away in my snug, warm RV. Plugged in and safe. It took a long time to get here. Let me back up a bit and tell you what happened...

I found this dentist, in Sunnyside. He does Mercury Safe dentistry, and biologically compatible fillings. I made all the telephone inquiries about being fragrance free, etc and it sounded good, so I'd made an appointment. I have to tell you, I was dreading it. Not in the normal sense of dreading seeing the dentist, but that he would still be too toxic for me to see; I was afraid I would get a very bad toxic hit, and/or there wouldn't be any materials safe enough for me. Every time I risk interacting with new people, or new procedures, I'm putting my life on the line. I was just as terrified I'd just be left with a mouth full of disintegrating teeth, and no options.

My appointment was yesterday afternoon. Yesterday morning I was trying to keep busy so I wouldn't think about everything that could go wrong, and all the possible toxic exposures and the damages I could get. I spent several hours working on the cleaning up/restocking theRV, then I was carding wool and watching Monk. His quirkiness makes me feel not so alone. I got a spray text at about 11:00 a.m. Aaron needed his peas sprayed again. He included a statement that the Ag company was planning on spraying that afternoon, or tomorrow. Aaron's text was like someone hit the "red alert" button! I'd just got home on Monday from his last spray. I just barely got the bulk of the laundry done and the RV cleaned up. Luckily I hadn't cleaned all the food out of it, yet. My brand new microwave, that I had just installed, broke down Sunday, so I'd come home a day early, so I could take it to a dealer for replacement. I did that on Tuesday (I stuck it in the bed of the Baja, and they came out and got it). The RV dealership had told me it would be a week before I got the microwave replacement. Now I thought, How was I going to cook?! O.k. Breathe! I could fry everything. Even the water. Thats the only pan I had for the induction cook top. I could make it work. I told myself not to panic. That electrical problem, I was having with the truck starting that I told you about in the last post, it was bad coach batteries. They devolved to the point yhey woukdn't hold a charge at all while I was out ladt week. Ron hadn't had time to replace them. It was time to start getting ready for my dentist appointment. I had figured I wouldn't be back until 7:00 p.m.. I just couldn't see that I had enough time to get it all together, before time to leave for my appointment. I certainly couldn't survive accessing my RV if they sprayed while I was gone! I took a deep breath to stifle the panic and called the spray company. They'd been great last time. I stressed how imperative it was that they not spray that day, and how I needed to be able to leave first, but couldn't due to my appointment. They were, again, very cooperative. Chris, who I talked to, said he'd make sure everyone knew not to spray until Thursday. Whew! I had a little more time. I called the manager of Cutsforth campground and reserved 4 days. I got off the phone, emailed Ron about the spray text, the ag company and my reservations and started busting my ass to get all my medical supplies, laundry and crap back on board. I hadn't mentioned in my last post that one of my glass drinking water jars got busted last week, too. I needed to replace that. We'd planned on stopping at the health food store and getting a few more on the way back from the dentist. So that would be taken care of. Then I got a call from the RV dealer that I turned my defunct microwave in to, the day before. The replacement had arrived!!! I needed to come pick it up before 5:00 p.m. Aaghgh! A quandry! Forget the microwave until I got home or get it, and try to get it installed before I left. There was no way that I had time to run in and get it myself. I decided to call my son in-law to see if he would be able to pick it up. No answer. And his voice mail was full so I couldn't leave a message. I tried my daughter. They live on the compound where she works. She might be able to step across the way and get him for me... Aurrrrgh! No answer there either. I had just decided to call a young man I sometimes hire for feeding, and pay him to retrieve it, when Ron called. He was headed home. He dropped everything and left immediately. He said he'd call our son-in-law and see if he could get through. He did. And our SIL would pick it up for me and I could install it that evening. Wow! What a lucky break!! And great people to make it happen! Such a blessing in the middle of all that stress. I jumped through the shower just long enough to rinse off, and threw on some clean clothes for my appointment. I was having Ron take me for two reasons. If I got exposures and got so sick I couldn't drive myself home, or if the dentist was a bully. That happens a lot. Medical professionals are told by "medical boards" that are controlled by big pharma, that people like me are crazies. The ones that buy into that treat us very badly. So away we went. We even arrived on time!

I was feeling very rattled and extremely stressed. We got out and approached the door. This is the first test: If I can safely open the door with out getting punched in the face with smellies. Its rather like that Chinese parable of "The Lady, or the Tiger." Only there's only one door. I opened it. No stinkies. We entered. It was even cleaner than my EI specialist's waiting room. Next I met the staff. They were very kind, but they told me I couldn't bring Rosie. O.k. Technically, they can't say that because she's a service dog. I'd be allowed to bring her into hospitals, and ERs, though not operating rooms. But I could see their side. Some of their other patients were allergic. They wanted to know if we'd leave her in the car. We both said no. Too hot. Tie her up outside, again, we both said no. We didn't bother to tell them that she is a $10,000 dog. I told them I would make arrangements for next time. They were o.k. With that. Then we began the interview. I told him what I wanted. I asked him if he could do the things I wanted. He was not familiar with remineralizing teeth, but he didn't roll his eyes either. He asked me some questions about my health history, about this last year. I couldn't help it. The tears just started coming. I'm talking and managing to keep my voice pretty even, but great big, fat tears are pouring one after another down my face. Not one or two at a time, but three or four to a side. So many, yet they don't begin to cover the grief. He got me some kleenex. The kleenex weren't stinky. That was telling. :-) It was also telling that he didn't freak out or show distain over some of the crazy sounding things that happened to me. Turns out that his son worked in Australia with a group that were studying how to specifically provide medical care for toxically injured people. He'd had a lot of experience with people like me. He was also sitting in on the interview. He'd be handling the TMJ and bite adjustment parts of my care. It was going very well up to this point, so we went into the operatory. Ron and Rosie stayed in the waiting room. Rosie was not happy. Her job is to never leave my side. We went in the back to do muscle testing of filling materials and have a preliminary exam. Right off the bat there were issues. I told them I couldn't sit on plastic, or vinyl. They had blankets. They were synthetic. I can't do that either. Ron had got Rosies towel from the car for me to sit on during the interview, we used that. There was some stuff on the dental mirror. It burned my tongue. They were patient and understanding. They didn't get angry, or frustrated. They didn't treat me like I was a pain. We just worked carefully through all the issues. Big huge positive! I still didn't know if this was doable for me, but these were appearing to be the right people. The exam showed 6 cavities. 2 less than I thought. Thats good. Then we started the muscle testing. Dr. stevens put them in a brown paper sack, so neither his son or I could see them. I failed them all. I was sad, they were a little non-plussed and the tiniest bit frustrated. But we each voiced that we were thinking that I might be reacting to the bag. So they tested me again with something without the bag. I tested stronger. It just happened to be a tangerine, I'm allergic to fruit. It also had a slight bit of fragrance on it. They cleaned it and tested me again. Better. We ran through the items again, and I had to keep my eyes closed. I still didn't test strong enough on any of the composites. I opened my eyes and noticed that they were all in plastic containers. I can't do plastic. I asked if we could test them out of the containers. Dr. Stevens said they were in the liquid state and he didn't want to expose me if they were bad. I told him that I'd react across the room if they were toxic VOCs and he could take them right out. So we thought of something to put them in, glass prophy cups. Dr. Smith tests me with samples in glass. So they tested just a glass. I was fine. We went through the samples again. The ones that tested out fairly strong, Dr. Stevens cured and we tested again. I was even stronger. Finally! It looked like there was a way. Next I have to see Dr. Smith (my EI specialist) and repeat the tests, so that its not biased. I went home feeling so much more hopeful than I had in years.

We did stop by the health food store on the way home and pick up water jars. And on the way home the dentist office called me and said if they changed my apt to the last one on the day the cleaning ladies come after work, I could bring Rosie. Now that was very gracious!!!! When we got home Ron ran to Walmart and got some deep cycle marine batteries for the coach. I started filling the fresh water tank and installing my new microwave. I think I finished getting everything ready to go at 10:00 p.m. I crawled into bed exhausted but hopeful.

I woke up early and managed to do the dishes, and water the plants, before it was time to leave. We headed right out at the same time that Ron left to pick up Joey. I stopped by the gas station to fill up. Ron and Joey drove in just so Joey could see grandma and wave. :-) This station takes my payment over the phone and puts my receipt in one of the basement storage bins. Then Rosie and I headed down the back roads into the high country. It takes me 2 hours to get there. On our way we encountered a farmer spraying a field with pesticide right next to the road. Even inside the RV it was making my stomach cramp badly. I started praying for rain, or a handy scout group car wash. I didn't get either and when we past through the last town I determined to ask the camp host, David, if he'd mind rinsing my RV off with water when we got to Cutsforth Campground, so I could get out with out being hurt worse. The only problem was that when we got there, the camp hostess told me someone had sprayed the whole camp the day before. The manager didn't even know about it. I started snotting up (still in the RV; some molecules are so small that they get into even "sealed" spaces), lost my voice and started puking. I'm guessing glyphosate. So I turned around and headed back down the mountain, to where I had cell service.

There it is. Sprayed out of another RV reservation. Well, that left Emigrant park as my only option, but first I'd need to get the outside of my rig washed off. I called Ron. A TI can't make it without a great support team. I'm very blessed to have him. I asked if he could meet me at the RV park near his office and hose me off at the dump station. (They're another well manicured park like Plymouth, so too many toxins for Rosie and I to get out.) He said he'd call them and make sure they had a wash hose at their dump station. I said I'd call Emigrant Springs State Park and make sure they still hadn't sprayed. I called Patrick, the groundskeeper. They hadn't sprayed. I asked him for the space # of the safest spot, since the horse camp didn't have power and its supposed to snow tonight. He said A1. Thats right at the front. That means lots of traffic. I knew that wouldn't work. On a spark of intuition, or maybe it was that still small voice I don't listen to often enough, I asked him if there was power at the community building. Its very isolated. Well, yes, there was even a hosts' hook up! He said if I got up there before 2:00 I could meet with his manager and see if he'd let me stay there. Woohoo! I explained my RV washing problem and that I'd let him know as soon as I was done there and on the road to his park. So here I am. Sitting in a very remote site with power. I can have it this one time only. But its a God sent gift. Hopefully if I have to come again it will be warm enough I can dry camp in the horse camp area. Rosie and I even went out for a long walk through the rainy forest, on a deserted muddy track. We didn't see a soul. It was very relaxing. Just the very thing I needed after 6.5 hrs of driving! And especially my first time taking my RV up Cabbage Hill. Even the truckers hate it. And now we're tucked in with the heater going, listening to the rain rattling the roof. :-) I feel like I was very blessed yesterday and today by very many people!!!

Monday, May 12

I'm home now. RV unloaded. Water and paper restocked. Washer running. It was a very nice stay. I think the best I've had. My family even came up to visit me on Mother's day. What a lovely gift! We all took a long walk through the forest. Joey hiked almost the entire 2 miles. Pretty impressive for 15 months. :-) the weather cooperated with 70°. It was snowing Saturday morning!

Friday, May 2, 2014

It started 2 days ago, April 23rd, with Aaron texting me to say he'll be spraying Sunday or Monday. We exchanged some very civil emails. I made an appointment for a blood draw on Friday morning. I discovered glyphosate is a chelator (sucks all the minerals out of your tissue, teeth and bones). My teeth are falling apart. So I'm having a mineral panel run. Yesterday (Thursday) another neighbor contacted me and let me know he was having his place sprayed and the spray company would call me. Last night I got the call from the spray company and they were doing 2 places upwind of me. They really wanted to spray today (Friday), weather permitting. I looked at the forecast. Friday looked very probable for spraying. Given that I had to leave the house for the blood draw, and that several more people will most likely spray, and not notify, I made reservations to stay down at Hat Rock for 5-8 days. I packed all the things I'd need, stacked them up for loading and organized the food.

I got up before 6:00, and was packing the food in short order. When Ron finished the farm chores I put a plastic bag over my duffel bag, a sheet over me, masked up and made a run for the RV. (Aaron had brought his spray rig and parked it across from the house, Monday, 4/21. I've been getting horribly sick everytime I went out to potty Rosie or take care of the lambie. So Ron took over doing them. Then he'd bath Rosie when he brought her back in. Which is why I went flying out to the RV under a sheet, my luggage sealed in a heavy garbage bag, with extra precautions. So, Ron pottied Rosie while I jumped in the RV, tossed the plastic bag and sheet out the door, and turned on the water, refrige, and water heater. When Rosie came in she went straight to the shower. Ron took the bag and sheet and used them to transfer the rest of the supplies. It was a little stressful being forced from my home, through a toxic environment, but I was dealing with it, as it was a necessity. Ron headed out to pick up Joey. Since spray season forces me to often drive long distances away from my kids, with little advance notice, my being able to watch Joey during spray season is unreliable. They'd found daycare. It was near my husband's work and he jumped at the chance to spend more time with our Joe-boy by playing taxi. He was running a little late, so he unplugged me and headed right off, as soon as I and my stuff were inside. I sat down to send out texts and make calls letting people know I was leaving in "30 min" and they could spray as they got the chance. Then I climbed into the driver's seat and revved her up. Only it didn't rev. It clacked. It sounded like, and the panel showed, a dead battery. O.k. She's been on the charger, there shouldn't be a dead battery! I tried again. But no go. I estimated the time I'd spent calling and texting. Ron should be halfway to work by now (with Joey). So I called Lon, who was due back by from beakfast. He was just finishing up. "Sure (he'd) stop by and see if (he) could jumpstart it." O.K. Clocks ticking. I'm hoping he'll get to me in less than the 30 min I notified the others, before all hell breaks out in spraying. As I sat there I thought that I better tell Ron about the engine trouble or I'd forget all about it when I saw him next. When I called I found out that he'd had been delayed in town picking up Joey. He wasn't passed our house, on his way to work, so he stopped back by. I called Lon and let him know. It only took a few seconds to hook up the jumper cables and it started right up. I'm thinking starter problem, or maybe cellanoid... Or maybe the charger came unplugged.

Anyway, that was stressful. But push on! Ron headed for work, and I headed to my appointment. Well the blood draw ladies were a bit non-plussed. After all, I'm showing up in a 30' RV, and I have no immune system. Bless their hearts they came out to the rig in clean-suits & masks. I think I would have laughed out loud only while I was sitting there waiting for them to get my paperwork in order I got a phone call. It was from Hat Rock, the RV park where I'd made reservations. The farmer next to them was having his field aireal sprayed this morning. I can't go there. I'm in the wind with no safe place to land!

I don't know if you can imagine the sheer terror and desolation that overwhelms me when that happens. I stumbled through a "Thank you so much for letting me know!" And got off the phone. I opened my ipad notes of alternative places. Thats when the girls arrived for truckside draw service. I masked up and stuck my arm out the window. The little gal climbed up on the running board and looped an arm around the extended mirrors. They got their work done quickly, efficiently and safely.

I returned to searching for a new destination. I called Plymouth park on the Washington side of the river. A warm, friendly woman named Shirley answered the phone. She invited me up to look, saying she had 3 open spaces. Well, I'd been meaning to check out Plymouth park for sometime. I have a full tank of gas. I guess now's the time. Plymouth park is a very small, and natural park. Its not the kind that reminds me of a drive-in movie parking lot. The pull through hook-ups are arranged on the outside of a loop, so outside your door you have grass and trees. The breeze comes fresh off the water. Shirley was very nice, and even had experience with 4 other regulars, who are chemically sensitive RVers, in a park she works at in Arizona. She understood my needs. Still they were going to be very busy, with lots of kids, dogs and people running everywhere, and they couldn't take my credit card over the phone (its a state park) perhaps I should check out Crowe Butte. I'd looked at maps of Crowe Butte. They were farther away from farming, the railroad and industries. I pulled over and called. Yes, Christy said they had plenty of open spaces. I explained my needs. She recommended space #50. She felt it would be perfect for me. I drove the 30 minutes down the hi-way to Crowe Butte. It turns out space #50 was a side by side (2 unit) slab of concrete at the intersection of 3 busy roads. Obviously Christy was more concerned with filling the park than what would work for me. I met Dave, the groundskeeper. I liked him. I turned around and headed back to Plymouth. When I got there, Shirley sadly informed me that the last 3 spaces were taken. I thanked her kindly and asked if I could pull over in the dump station to do some more calling. She gave me some other camp names and some numbers. I started weeding through them. Do they use pesticide? How close are my neighbors. Was there a live person to talk to or did I just get to leave a message. Ron had called me while I was driving out to Crowe Butte, I'd promised to let him know how it went. I called him now, but he didn't answer. I called the office receptionist to get a couple of numbers of parks near there. Thats when Shirley drove up. Uh-oh I thought. I must be blocking the dump station.

I was wrong! She'd talked to a few campers, rearranged things and had a camper leaving at 2:00. Did I want that space? Yes!! She didn't know how long it was open for but it was open tonight. Bless her heart! So I hung out at the dump station until the folks in space #2 took off. Rosie and I are plugged in, and safe, though confined. The air is fresh off the river but we have to time going out to potty just right to avoid other people and dogs. I called emmigrant park and was told they're pretty empty up there as its still pretty cold. I may jump there next. Ron offered to drive up there with me in the baja to check it out before I try to take the RV up Cabbage Hill myself.

Update: Sunday

I spent 2 nights in # 2. On Saturday Ron, Rosie and I took a drive up to Meacham State park. The spots were much closer together. It was dark and forboding in under the trees. All the spots were pull-in/back-in, not drive through, and the asphalt was cracked and buckled. The Horse Camp area was better, but no power. I decided to stay put for now. We took the back way and went right by the spot near Weston where the diesel tanker went off the road and landed in some people's front yard, dumping 500,000 gallons of diesel fuel. Ron told me they removed the soil and even the house. I wasn't prepared for the size of the crater that we saw as we went by. The hole was over 15 feet deep and 60" wide! It was gigantic!

Sunday morning lots of campers headed out and I moved to a spot that was 'first come, first serve.' That way I wouldn't be in #2, a 'reservable spot,' if someone reserved it on line and then showed up. I tried #1, as it was the farthest up wind, but I think it was too close to the playground for me. I kept getting reactions when I took Rosie out. There was also a cleaning crew thatbwent around sanitizing the benches and tables. Unfortunately, they used lysol brown soap. Toxic. So I moved to #3 at about 6:00 p.m.. Much better. I had a lovely visit on the phone with the new camp host Carlyn. Which was just what I needed. I was starting to go stir crazy from being alone so much. I'd met her husband Wally earlier when he came to pick up my check, but it was a smile and a wave through the glass. Ron worked on fencing all day then had dinner with the kids. I won't see him till after 8:00, tonight, and he'll be too tired to visit. It will just be a grocery drop. That way he won't have to come every night of the week. It wears him out. :-( I worry about him. In a way, when I go to the mountains, its a little bit easier on him. Since its 2 hrs away, he doesn't check on me. Its one less thing he has to do.

Update Wednesday

Tuesday was lawn care day. I watched the mower doing a meticulous job. He went over everything 4-6 times. I called the camp host and asked if it woukd be inconvenient to adk him to mow really quick right next to my RV, so there woukdn't be so much exhaust right by the door. I wasn't sure if we were exhaust proof that close. We've never tested it. She did even better than I asked and had him not mow a swatch that was up wind of me entirely. However, someone did spray insecticide on one of the walnut trees along the waters edge. Must be for termites. Rosie and I got a hit when we were out pottying. My teeth got worse. Wednesday I new I needed to dump black and grey water, and take on fresh. The hosts said they'll dump it for me. Then when I called back to tell them Ron would be coming anyway, they said they couldn't, because its a state facility. I'd asked them if they could because Ron hadn't been going to come, and other camp hosts tell me to let them know if I need them to help. You see, I can't do it myself because the fumes from the sewer, from other user's chemicals boil up out of there, when you open it. TOXIC!!! I need water too, but I'm concerned as Ag NW has a massive farming project all along the ridge above the campground. I checked with the campground resource manager and he said that they check water quality once a month here. But he doesn't know what for. I'm waiting to hear back. Its most likely just choleforms (bacteria). If I go home where Ron can fill the tank while I stay locked in the motorhome, I don't know if I'll be safe enough. I asked him this morning to have our well tested, in case its been contaminated by pesticides. I'm still trying to figure out all the possible reasons for my teeth disintigrating. They're still getting worse.

I took Rosie out this afternoon. Someone had applied a pesticide on the day use side of the park. I can smell it. I got a hit. I could see a white tool truck backing around. It looked foggy. I did think I heard a 4 wheeler this morning, but never could see one. Both Rosie and I had to take cold showers, using some of our precious water stores. I'm wearing my last clean pair of pants. I'm going to have to potty her when we go to dump or get water. Maybe we can get water at Lon's? Ron could potty her there. I have no idea what we'll do in the morning.

Update Friday, May 2nd

We stayed at LGW dry camping. We're doing better. I've upped my cod liver oil caps and butter consumption, and my teeth have mostly stopped hurting. I haven't checked cavities the last 2 days. Its too depressing. I think there are 8 now. I finally have internet again, so I can post this.

About Me

In 2004 I was diagnosed with Chemical Sensitivity. It resulted from pesticide poisoning, a Toxic Injury. I lost about 98% of who I was. I've embarked on the journey of "Rebuilding me."
You can find me on Facebook at "Toxed2loss"