It is the “monogamy is the only acceptable relationship structure” belief and yes I think Mormons should be able to be married to as many people as they want through their church. I think Pagans should be able to practice their polyamory publicly too. Yes, Mormon compounds can be extremely oppressive for women. NEWS FLASH! If they didn't need to HIDE they wouldn't be unprotected on an isolated compound!

It is this RIDICULOUS idea many antis have that all forms of BDSM are oppressive to women (even if there's not a woman involved in the scene...long story) and that anyone who enjoys it is destined to be a serial killer. You know why you only hear about BDSM when someone mentions a serial killer. BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE INTO BDSM HAS TO HIDE IT!

It is talk of “family values” from politicians trying to get elected & Focus on the family; which should really be called “the nuclear family is the only family and all others must be STOPPED!”

It's rape because rape isn't about pleasure it's about anger and rape is it's expression.

It's calling every sexual act you don't approve of “rape” even if all parties are consenting.

It's second guessing a woman when she says she does consent to and enjoys being a sex worker.

It's the belief that you can't rape a sex worker.

It's everyone who has a problem with a woman breast feeding her child in peace.

Did I mention Gail Dines?

It is the Achilles heal society imposes on all of us so that if we dare to express a sexuality that is not in lock step with everyone else's our works do not matter, our character does not matter, our courage, honesty and kindness do not matter. NOTHING MATTERS once we step outside of the very small “acceptable sexuality” box and dare to be different.

It's sex work stigma and the categorizing any woman who is a sex worker as nothing more then her job. i.e. “you would date 'a stripper?'”

Now, I know some people have a hard time imagining a society without these constrains so for those who would molest children unless society told them not to...I AM TALKING ABOUT CONSENTING, ADULT, HUMANS. Now take your slippery slop fallacy and go sit in the corner.

“Shame Culture” is all these things and more...and it the reason Anthony Wiener had to resign yesterday amid flashing lights and heckling from some Howard Stern show idiot. Here was a man who broke NO laws. Here was a man who fought for women's rights and planned parenthood tooth and nail. Here was a man the right actually FEARED & because he did something sexual our “Shame Culture” didn't approve of; with consenting, adult females, he had to resign and the entire Democratic Party threw him under the bus.

I guess you could say “Shame Culture” is also the reason I will never again call myself a Democrat because I am so disappointed by the weakness of the Democratic party in general but this Anthony Wiener thing was just the last straw. I'll be damn'd if I'll ever vote for a Republican but the Democrates are just too weak sauce for me and they are part of perpetuating “Shame Culture” too...

I came to YouTube on November 23, 2009. Some of the first people I met were the feminists who opposed all forms of sex industry and for this reason I have come to call them “antis.” This is not what I called them at first; however, because at that time I knew nothing about the “Feminist Sex Wars.” I knew nothing about how truly contentious the issue has become and how it has almost completely divided feminism. I only knew that I was the only openly self-identifying feminist that I knew of and I was hungry for a little feminist fellowship. Many that oppose the sex industry say that it's racist and I'm sure in some cases this is true. But I have another story of racism...and this is it.

There were four: NuclearNight, Antiquelens, jedimasterbooboo and DianaBoston. From the beginning things were tense between the YouTube anti-porn feminists and I. I used to be a stripper and my first videos were advice videos for strippers; save your cash, don't self-medicate, etc. Now that I look back I can see how they merely tolerated me; partly thinking that they might show me the light, partly to make an example out of me. They would make condescending remarks about me rooted in politics I didn't quite understand at the time and didn't recognize.

This doesn't mean I didn't stand up for myself when I did see something wrong with their arguments or when they would say things about the sex industry that I knew from experience were just wrong. In fact, NuclearNight (a Marxist feminist); now iremythpurr, went through a phase of reading from The Industrial Vagina by Sheila Jeffreys; usually after a video exchange with me. Now looking back I realize she wasn't doing this just because she liked the book but also to dig at me and paint a picture of some of the things I must have done as a stripper for her subscribers to laugh at. This also marked the beginning of our more heated exchanges. Antis just don't like to be told that they're wrong and; as I have witnessed since, they will offer all sorts of fallacious rationalizations for their squashed assertions when proven wrong.

Jedimasterbooboo; now Aliceinhats/boobootoob, was nice to me for a while and always seemed to skate along the edge of the group but made it clear where her loyalties were when I started challenging the others on their claims. Antiquelens is not on YouTube anymore. That is her story to tell but even though she was vicious and even dehumanizing in her critique of sex workers when my docs were dropped by DianaBoston she was the only one among the antis who stood up for what was right and spoke out against it. I have a feeling; were she here now she would not stand idly by and condone the racist attack I have been on the receiving end of. She does seem to have strong principles when it comes down to it. Even though I don't agree with many of her positions and don't appreciate her venom I do respect her on some level and hope she is doing well.

This brings me to DianaBoston/AuntieDiana1969/SaelPalani/Girlonfilm1969. A self proclaimed: deist, pagan, Caucasian (Jewish/Italian), former “prostituted woman,” radical-socialist feminist, artist and “eccentric” who swears that; though she lives in Canada, the radiation from Fukushima is making her sick. I must specify she is Caucasian/white because it is relevant to this post and the discussion on race relations within feminism in general.

I cover most of the conflict I've had with her in the ONE other blog post I've done mentioning her so I won't go into much detail but I will say this; most of our conflict is a result of me confronting her on her abuse of others in the name of “feminism.” I AM a feminist, a Latin (Mexican/American) woman, former sex worker and current sex worker's rights advocate. Feminism is very important to me and I know it's reputation is in much need of some rehabilitation so when I saw her using it as an excuse for her abusive behavior I just couldn't let it stand unchallenged. I will also mention now that by her own admission she is also suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder and chronic depression; something I try to keep in mind when dealing with her so I do hold back with her quite a bit.

The race based abuse started a few months ago. D0llsnatch; one of her fellow YouTube anti-porn feminists, called me a “chola” in a comment section. For those of you who don't understand this term it is a female, Mexican, gang member of a certain type. I have known cholos/cholas before. They are hard people. One must understand; though, that the conditions of their lives have made many of them have to be hard. Anyone who claims to understand anything about the intersection of class oppression and race oppression should understand this. When taken at face value with no understanding of the conditions of their lives they are often exploited as the stereotype of the Mexican/American woman: violent/impulsive, uneducated, promiscuous with many children at a young age and “low class.”

So let's look for a second at these various stigmatizing qualities.

1. A chola has to be tougher then everyone else because growing up in the barrios of this country can be dangerous especially when getting a cop to come to your neighborhood to actually HELP someone can be like pulling teeth. Many sex workers have told me they were raped by the very cops that tax payers are paying to protect us. This is also the reason many of them join gangs. The price can be high but sometimes that's the only protection there is.

2. Uneducated? Sometimes. But when you look at how much money governments give to inner city schools compared to schools in more well off neighborhoods does it really make sense to degrade someone based on that? Not only that but now with the GOP push to cut so much education funding in order to make a path for charter schools it may just get worse. Is that the fault of an inner city kid whose parents work two sometimes three jobs? Poverty IS oppression and in my opinion it is also a form of violence. Talk about blaming the victim.

3. Promiscuous with many children at a young age: The fact is that many Mexican/Americans are Catholic and if there's one thing the Catholic church doesn't like it's contraception. Comprehensive sex education is hard to come by in the U.S. and don't get me started on “abstinence only” non-education education. I have spoken to so many woman who rely on Planned Parenthood for their reproductive health services that this GOP push to completely defund it is very troubling to me. But let's look at another aspect of this. Oppressed people cling to each other for support and sometimes they place so much hope in the next generation knowing that not all of them will make it. But sometimes; like my mother, they do. She will be the first person on either side of my Latino family to get her doctorate. Oh, if my grandma could see her now.

4. “Low class” How a socialist or a Marxist feminist can insult someone by calling them “low class” is beyond me but that's what I have been called...several times. These people go on and on about oppression and denouncing their “white privilege” but have no problems pulling rank with it when a brown woman gets too out of line. Yes, I am low class. I was not born rich. I was not born white. I am self educated because formal education has always been just out of reach for me. Yes, I am low class and these women obviously think it's one of the many things; along with my skin color, that's wrong with me.

So d0llsnatch called me a “chola” and I confronted her with it and it's racially stereotyping associations and from there it just snowballed into one big brown bashing, anti-porn feminist, racist hatefest. Once she saw that it was something that bothered me the language became more and more frequent and then Diana picked it up...and ran with it.

Diana has been confronted for her transphobia, slut-shaming/whore-bashing, racism against Chinese people and homophobia all while swearing up and down that she's a victim, that people are out to get her and just “stirring up drama.” Of course she blames me for all of it. If some random stranger crosses her she accuses them of being a “div troll” even if I've never seen them before in my life. Every thumb down she gets on her videos she blames on me. Every time she does anything bigoted and hateful and is confronted for it she says it must be my fault in someway. She is obsessed. To date she has made approximately 80 videos about me telling lie after lie and calling me a “whore,” a “cunt” etc. The point is she's quite disturbed. If it were just her I would just chalk it up to one woman's obsession but all her anti friends cheer on her every slut-bashing remarks...and now they've begun cheering on her racism.

Her first all out racist attack came in a three part video she uploaded on another site called i-tube. Even though she claims she uploaded it off of YouTube to keep it from getting “flagged,” given the vile and overtly racist nature of the videos it's pretty safe to assume that she did this to hide from the greater YouTube community that openly frowns on racism. On this site one can “promote” a video to get it more views and that's exactly what iremythpurr did. As if all this weren't bad enough these women seem to have appointed themselves the champions of the poor oppressed women of color of the world. Like many antis they seem more content to champion what they think we need rather then listen to any of us or treat us with respect if we step out of line. In her 30 minute diatribe she continually calls me a “chola,” “fat chola,” and a “fucking Latina bitch.” She also seems to go on and on about how much smarter then me she is that she almost seems like she's trying to convince herself.

In this video I confront her and iremythpurr on their racism and let them know that NO ONE who would use someone's race as a tool of abuse has any place appointing themselves to speak for them.

Now, if there's anymore confusion about the history of the word “chola” or why the way Diana used it constitutes racism alowlyapprentice made a video addressing these very questions.

I've made just about all I'm going to make of this on YouTube so to close the issue there I put together a little comedy piece to show the antis how ridiculous their perception of my "gangster" behavior really is. I think it also helped to cut some of the awkwardness my subs may have felt to have witnessed this race baiting. Now that I watch it again I think I came off more like a male cholo but oh well. It was funny anyway.

Yes, I've made all I'm going to make of this on YouTube. How fitting that they would chose now to ramp up the racism nice and high. Diana has created a sock account on i-tube called DivsCellulite. On it she has uploaded a video comparing me in a video I did purposely for comedic reasons to Laura Chinchilla Miranda; the first woman president of Costa Rica giving a formal speech. As you can see below.

This video is blatantly racist for a number of reasons.

1. In the beginning she criticizes my use of "Spanglish."

This is a common criticism many Latino-Americans face sometimes even from our own. Many second, third etc. generation Latino-Americans find themselves in a position to have to navigate this gray area of intersection sometimes having to wear a mask to fit into whatever group we may be around. Around other Latinos we may be told that we are not Latino enough. Often it's because; like me, many of us don't know Spanish but for a few English/Spanish hybrid phrases that seem to be the mark of our merging cultures.

This criticism coming from another Latino is one thing because we share the same oppression. Coming from a Caucasian; who seems to using it as a way to abuse and degrade, is quite another. So many people forget that; like Native Americans, we were here first and we too had our land stolen from us. Now, most white people I know understand this and would NEVER mock my culture or ethnicity but these Caucasian, anti-porn feminists are NOT among them. Coming from a Caucasian, mocking my "Spanglish" is like saying "We conquered and raped your people and culturally displaced you to the point that we have FORCED your language to begin to change and now we're going to rub it in your face by mocking you for it." And YES "forced" is correct. In many States there is a great deal of stink made over statements like "Please press ONE for English." And Bills like S.B.1070 are being adopted or introduced in many states including Arizona, Utah and Georgia a.k.a. the "Show me your papers" bill.

2. Ethnic Body Shaming.

Once she shows the clip of me, she takes great pains to call me fat. I'm not a small woman. This I have no problem with but women of different cultures are often body shamed especially concerning differences in our bodies that may be a little more specific to our ethnic backgrounds. Latin women do tend to have more voluptuous bodies. There is also a different dynamic to this I'd like to touch on. It's the body shaming of ethnic women by white women. It harkens back to the Hera complex.

Zues; the Greek sky god and ruler of all other gods, was notorious for not just seducing women behind his wife's back but also rape by deception and rape by force. Rather then hold him accountable for this injustice against women; as any real feminist would, she instead punished the women; sometimes quite cruelly. When I see a racist, white woman body shaming a woman of color I see Hera all over it. Not because interracial relationships are oppressive today but because; historically, interracial rape has been. Desperate to hold their preferred position of wife under that oppressive patriarchal structure; and thus maintain her access to her husbands resources, she was put in a position to have to look at the rape victim as competition. Some women still play that old game, competing for the patriarchal defined preferred female position by abusing other women they view as a potential threat.

3. Assigning Value

But the final racist aspect of this video that I will touch on is this: By putting herself in a position to compare me with President Miranda, this white woman is claiming for herself the authority to assign value to various women of color like an old fashioned slave owner.

A slave owner mentality she seems to have no problem displaying when she thinks I DESERVE it i.e. "when the dumb chola gets out of line it's ok to beat her because she's not being a 'proper' Mexican by my superior white standards." She also seems to take advantage of the fact that society in general is more aware of black oppression then it is of brown oppression. She's displayed every kind of racism outside of outright calling me a "spic" or a "wet back" which can't be far away because she's crossed every other line of human decency concerning race there is.

Just a couple of her racist comments:

This last one was a comment she left under a video a male Marxist feminist named MaoistRebelNews2 made to me and apparently racism is ok with him because only he has the ability to moderate his own thread. I tweeted this post to him in case he missed the racist comment and he still neglected to moderate the racist comment. Guess he's not an ally to women...or Latin women of color at least. And being a member of a minority does not make one immune to racism as I pointed out to him respectfully.

I guess to conclude this I'll say that this idea of "justified" racism is nothing new. This idea of "we're trying to liberate you and if you don't submit to that we are going to show you just how bad things can really be for you" is nothing new. It's nothing new to people of color and it's nothing new to sex workers. The blatant lack of respect these people have seems to be sick throughout much of the movement. While they are trying to impose their ideology on the world and "alter society" the most oppressed among us are suffering NOW! And they need practical help NOW! The only way they will ever get it is if people stop trying to "save" them in the way they think is best for us poor oppressed people and

LISTEN TO US!

Believe it or not we ARE smart enough to know what is best for us. This paternalistic repression is every bit as bad as patriarchal oppression. In fact...BIG SHOCK...they're the same THING! We Latinos have been though so much. We've had our land stolen. We've had our blood stolen and we've had our voice stolen for too long. Making all this known is my own little way of contributing to the fight and I'm not going anywhere. If my grandmother could make it our of poverty in Mexico to a good full life here in the U.S. and raise seven successful children and more grandkids then I care to break my writing flow to figure out then this; what these racist, anti-porn feminists are putting me through, is nothing. I honestly believe that most of them don't really care about us at all. From the way I've been treated and the way I've seen antis treat sex workers and women of color just like me I can't help but believe it. Well, I won't be part of their agenda. I won't let them exploit my oppression and the suffering of MY people; sex workers and Latinos, and turn us into nameless, voiceless poster children whose suffering is profitable for them. I hope to see more women like me speak up about these things. We are the only ones who can liberate us. And we will...someday.