On today's show, a perfectly innocent-sounding caller makes a terrifying suggestion, McAfee bricks a whole lot of computers all at once, including like 1,000 inside a hospital, and Dell (no, seriously, Dell) is apparently making some seriously drool-worthy phones. Rrrowwwrrr.

Adobe says it's taking its ball and getting off that dumb old Apple platform altogether. Apple says, hey, we super totally don't care because we're making bajillions of dollars and plan to continue doing so in the near future. But the ones who really suffer here are the children, who can't code on the iPad unless they're willing to suck it up and learn Objective C. Hey, that's what it was like when I was a kid.