To avoid fainting, keep repeating 'It's only a movie...It's only a movie...'

Another day, another pop at . This sucker punch comes from Broken City star , who gave some unconventional advice to the Biebster in an interview with British newspaper The Sun.

Wahlberg apparently put on a faux British accent as he jokingly scolded the object of a million girls' obsessions, 'Don't be so naughty, yeah...pull your trousers up, make your mum proud.' He is not the first celeb to nag Prince Justin about his slovenly attire. In Time actress humorously told him in March via Twittter, 'Bieber, put your f---ing shirt on.'

And mucho Lolz (and probably a stream of hate mail from bewitched and befuddled tweens) ensued. Wahlberg admitted that he was a bit of a tearaway in his own youth, adding a serious note about his prison spell in his pre-Marky Mark days, 'I don't think [Bieber]'s been to prison. I don't think he wants to go.' Lord, can you imagine? I'm sure the teeming hordes of prepubescent females would all club together and orchestrate an escape that would make Escape from Alcatraz look like Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. The hardened prison staff would have to be treated for optical injuries after being maced with Victoria's Secret's Pink. Biebs would be smuggled out in a Hollister tote and smuggled away to a distant, modern-day Thermiscyra where the warrior tweens would force him to populate the island with their horrific It's Alive spawn. As Wahlberg sagely attests, 'I don't think he wants to go.' Despite the fact that his new island life would mean that the Germans could never again confiscate his monkeys.

Wahlberg then reclined on his metaphorical rocking chair, inhaling the sweet Southern air, and the ol'-timer said to the young whippersnapper, 'This career can be short-lived — you might as well be the best you can while you're doing it, while you're in the game. And after, if you want to go 'F' off, do that.'

So there you have it, Biebs, your self-assigned patron has voiced his opinions about your alleged love of the halfling's leaf, whilst balancing his pedagogy with a little encouragement, 'He's a kid! Let him live his life.'

Once he'd gotten off his soapbox/rocking chair/whatever, Wahlberg mentioned the movie project he wanted to make with the pop sensation, which, like Biebs, is still in its infancy. Described by Wahlberg as 'The Color of Money, but in the world of inner-city basketball,' one can only speculate, dry-mouthed with anticipation, what such a project could do for Bieber's career. So long as he stays clear of further comments on Holocaust victims - Bieber famously wrote that 'Anne [Frank] was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber' - I'm sure his pot-huffin', baggy-trousered star is still in its ascendancy.