At first she is nice. She can be pleasant and kind as she tries to sift through you; you know, to determine if you are right for her girl. She knows more about you than she leads on – she knows your good and your bad, your insecurities, your buttons. She is supposed to be happy for her girl, keyword is ‘supposed to’. However she has grown up with her for awhile, and with woman, girls, females, and lets include humans in general, there will always exist a competitive spirit. She wants to be happy for her, but its very hard for her to be happy for her, if she isn’t happy.
It says that thou shall not covet thy’s neighbor’s wife, maybe it should have just stopped at ‘thou shall not covet’, as if it were such a case, she would be a sinful sinner.

And she tries so hard to attain what she sees, and when she realizes that it is a paramount task, she gets calculating. She thinks, ‘well, if she is happy and I’m not, then …’ she gets a case of crab-bucketitis – If she can’t ascend herself to feel like her friend, then she brings the b*tch down.
Misery loves company, and she is looking for fellow employees – and she will try to bring you down to, directly or indirectly, and she has the power to do it. She knows, and will play off of your insecurities, jealousy, anything to get you emotional and cause a riff between you and your girlfriend.

But I play a different chord.

Fellas, understand that she only wants to break up your melody, because she wants a facsimile of your melody.

And with vocals like her, she will never harmonize, but will always be off-key.

And maybe the girlfriend will realize it as such and will end the sonata.

Aside:
I once experienced this dim creature and she purposefully and skillfully was able to affect me and caused problems between my girlfriend and I. Oh man, she was clever, she pushed a button that she knew would upset and trouble me. She got me. I was able to recover, naturally, because I am the trampoline-man (everytime I fall, I land on a trampoline). However she left her mark, and even Ajax, Vim, or Comet can’t clean it. I haven’t dealt fully with this silly monkey, maybe I will, maybe I won’t, but I can say that in the future, if I ever encounter such a silly monkey again, I’ll be sure to turn the silly monkey into a buffoon – expose her for what she really is, and what she is trying to do to her ‘friend’ (girlfriend); And that is what irked me most about this particular silly monkey, is that she was maybe trying to hurt me, but she ended up hurting her friend, and their friendship.

The Bouncer has a very important job at the club. In the club world, they are the ‘authority’ that regulate the patrons & uphold the club’s policies. The Bouncer is a ‘cool’ name for Security; I wonder how it started – must have been when someone working security in a club developed a reputation, better yet, an attitude, for physically &/or verbally denying people admittance to a club. That sounds like an accurate etiology of the word ‘Bouncer'; the bouncer enjoys the power he has – and administers such power to his advantage. The Bouncer gets to select which ladies get ‘preferential treatment’ into the club – though the lucky ladies may have to give something up in return (a number, dignity, etc.) , the Bouncer is content irregardless as it is just another act, and a benefit of his power.

Across the board – whether in a grimey or posh club, the Bouncer has the alpha male macho tough guy attitude. But even with all the power, respect, and perks, the Bouncer wants more. You see, on the ‘club hierarchy’ or ‘food chain’, the Bouncer is just above the people that do coat check & admittance. Yes, that is super ugly. The bar staff even makes more than the Bouncer. So the ‘muscle’ uses its ‘brain’, some cortical regions of it I suppose, and has learned extortion – or what people in the entertainment/club world call ‘greasing’ or ‘to grease’. Which is the act of paying a Bouncer a fee to his liking, in order for the Bouncer to overlook or bend some of the club’s rules. Greasing gives the Bouncer a new dimension of being Judge, Jury, and even sentencing board. For example, the dress code is a grey area – if you don’t meet the specifics there is hope that you will get in, and it probably will cost you $20 to the bouncer. And at Posh spots (L.A. especially!), your clothing may be on point, but if you don’t know anyone that works at the club, then you may also have to pay the Bouncer a fee that I like to call a ‘privelige fee’ – this is a fee that covers the Bouncer giving you the privilege to STILL pay the club admission fee, and party with the club patrons.

L.A. is notorious for that.

How do I know so much about the Bouncer, I know some, and I have experienced their tactics – and no longer will I be a ‘Silly Monkey’ to their foolery.

Strong-Arm Mike is the tight-ass banker. Mike is the branch manager and takes pride in the power that he has over his minions. Mike is middle-aged, unhappily married, and work is a refuge from ‘home’. Thus, it is only fitting to make your refuge similar to your fantasy, thus Mike’s branch has a suspiciously high number of young, attractive female employees. Mike is a creature of routine, habitually and consistently. Strong-Arm keeps the order and equilibrium in his branch, and of course, Mike has the last and final word on all matters.

Mike’s primary motive is to protect the interests of the bank, and to maximize profits – at all costs. So Mike is a witty, slick guy. Strong-Arm is the type of guy to give you a hard time for loans, credit, and for even opening an account; Strong-Arm likes to scrutinize a lot, and even ‘play dumb’. Even if you make sense, you have correct documentation, Strong-Arm Mike will find a way to make your life difficult. You see, Mike knows that you need him more than he needs you, and he knows that you are willing to sacrifice a bit in order to get what you want – which he controls. In my experiences, Strong-Arm Mike forced my biz partner to open up a personal account when it was absolutely not necessary for the business that we had. But Mike, flexed his muscle; not his physical, like many street thugs like to do, but his financial muscle – which is even stronger. That day we were treated like the silly monkeys, bowing to Strong-Arm, we had to accept his terms; which were so unconventional that the personal banker that we dealt with regarding this matter felt so embarrassed and shocked that this was happening to us. Hmm, she probably never seen anything like this before.

But Silly Monkeys get special treatment, right? Silly Monkey series to be continued, next the ‘Entrepreneur’ …

Abstract: One day I was sitting in the offices of my business partners place of employment at an executive school. One of their co-workers who was an older white lady, let’s say in their mid-40’s made an off-color comment, it went something like, “What are you silly monkeys doing”. Now, we are three young black men, and we have an older lady calling us silly monkeys – albeit she said it in a joking context. I had never met the lady before, but I took her comment as someone that was clueless to what that phrase signified to a black person. However, one of my business partner took gross offense to it – which I understood why, but deep down inside I believe that she honestly did not say those words in a racist context.

But the story mentioned above is not what this piece is about, at least not the historical/racist aspect of what ‘silly monkey’, ‘monkey’, or ‘porchmonkey’ means to the black community. I think silly monkey is an interesting concept that can be tied to when one treats another like an idiot; one whom is deceitful, manipulative to another, and they believe that the ‘silly monkey’ has no clue of what they are up to. I always had this concept in my mind, but I could not phrase properly – better yet, I could not phrase in such a sweet, concise catch phrase that captured the essence of the concept.

So thank you, middle-aged white lady who was trying to make a joke and be hip with her peers, you have armed me with a definition that is timeless, transcends races & borders, and describes a daily occurrence that I, and I think a lot of us have to go through – dealing with people that take us for joke.