Most domestic and family violence is NOT physical.

Coercive Power and Control is one of the lesser understood tools of the abuser.

It’s an underlying plan – the purposeful, deliberate strategy used by perpetrators to entrap, isolate and disempower their victims.

Domestic and Family Violence is commonly recognised as a combination of physical harm, psychological abuse, and emotional abuse. But whilst media portrayal of “bruised and battered” women catches our attention and has brought focus to much needed criminal legislation, studies show the reality that most domestic and family violence does not routinely involve “physical” violence.

Emotional abuses and psychological abuse – still secretively hidden behind closed doors – are now being recognised as the most pervasive wreckers of family life.

Coercive Control leaves no bruising – and fewer witnesses. It is selective and subtle -less obvious to concerned parties.

Safe relationships, equality, caring, sharing and other compassionate qualities are swept away by domestic violence perpetrators leaving victims as mere shadows of their former selves – mentally and emotionally violated and often damaged.

It can appear “normal” … BUT … Coercive Control is Power Play.

It’s the subtle shifting sand of domestic violence where a “usually trusted” partner has undisclosed, often malevolent intent wrapped up in a pretence to the outside world, of things appearing “normal”. The blame for any discord or disconnect is carefully laid at the door of the innocent.

At its most brutal, the results of Coercive Control can be life threatening.

Power & Control Wheel

You need to see the patterns and understand the consequences.

Coercive Control is a dangerous escalation of “normal” domestic and family violence. The skilled perpetrator can be likened to a Paedophile grooming their unsuspecting prey. Their moves can be incredibly subtle and many victims don’t see it coming – or – do not want to believe the deceit they may be seeing as “on purpose”.

If you fear for your safety, feel trapped, have doubts or confusion about what is happening in your life and relationship … you need to review your circumstances.

Learn about the complex patterns of abuse and coercive control that may be playing out in your life.
DOWNLOAD links to Clare Murphy’s unique Power & Control Wheel PLUS 7 pages of Abuser Tactics List.
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"Dear Clare, I just came across your "Tactics of Coercive Control" inventory & wanted to say it's the best I've ever seen in my 30 years as a domestic violence practitioner & activist. Really well done! I am using it with clients already.....I also read your article on the Mask that Men Live Behind...and am glad you

When someone "gets" you, distance supervision works! I provide Supervision online anywhere in the world - and face-to-face in Brisbane, Qld, Australia Many of the professionals I supervise work in some capacity with domestic violence issues. It is often relentless, punishing work demanding great empathy and accountability to people in need of support, resources and care. There is

3 or 5 HOUR WORKSHOPS FOR ADVANCED PRACTITIONERS Clare uses a range of activities to deepen your understanding of tactics of coercive control – as used by male intimate partners. Clare draws from her own research and international in-depth studies with male perpetrators and female victims. Research shows many male perpetrators do in fact have

Please note: this blog does not support the notion that all men are abusive and all women are victims. Not everyone is safe and free. Huge numbers of people live in fear. Trapped, damaged and in pain. Isolated by perpetrators who are not free either. Masked, driven control freaks

Coercive control is not just an issue for individuals, it is a major social problem that has its roots in patriarchal male dominance and continues to be supported by social norms, laws, and institutions. For centuries our society has given more power to men than women, granted permission to dominate

On this SpeakOutLoud site, on Skype, and in my daily counselling practice face to face, I see the progress victims make when the penny drops as they begin to understand how coercive control and psychological abuse has been used to strip away their dignity and person. I see their dismay, anguish,