Mum Shares Foul-Mouthed Aldi Rant Urging Parents To Never Shop There Again

“Well b****r me, there is no ‘right time’ to do an Aldi shop,” the post written by a furious Chelsea O’Connor starts.

In the post uploaded to parenting website Mums Advice, the frustrated shopper takes aim at the store’s one-way system and “Turbo Tracy” who works on the tills.

In a not-so-thinly-veiled attack on Aldi, she begins by saying: “If you choose to take your beautiful children, they will absolutely destroy you!”

She then mimics her children’s behaviour: “Can I have this useless stuff I’ll never use mummy?

“Can I have a c****y magazine that I’ll probably eat when I’m bored, with an even c******r choke hazard toy inside it for £6 Mummy?

“Can I have 369 bananas mummy? Can I have 4 packs of Kinder Eggs mummy? Shut the hell up!”

Solo shoppers don’t fare much better, according to Chelsea, who claims “bloody Doreen’s always out and she will mess with your day”.

The mum adds: “Everyone knows Aldi is a one-way system! No Not Doreen. She’s a bloody rebel.

“She cuts across all the aisles without checking her blind spots like the b*****d Stig in a Bugatti and nearly takes you out, all for a pack of a part-cooked crusty cobs that she can’t even bloody chew!”

“You go in, then up and down the aisles in a one-way system until you get to Turbo Tracey’s till at the end when you need another Propranolol [used to treat high blood pressure].”

The post was uploaded onto MumsAdvice by user XGemX but apparently took its inspiration from a Facebook post by Chelsea O’Connor.