The Dumbest Warning Labels You’ve Ever Seen

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Check out the 15 dumbest warning labels from “Forbes”, including: “Do not use while driving” on the ‘Drive & Talk’ speakerphone . . . “May contain nuts” on a can of peanuts . . . “Do not use while sleeping” on a hairdryer . . . and “Safety goggles recommended” for a letter opener.

Only a moron would try to wash her daughter in a washing machine; or shake hands with the business end of a chainsaw; or light a match to check the contents of a gas tank. And yet manufacturers continue to go to laughable lengths to protect their customers, bombarding them with ridiculous warning labels or stunningly obvious explanations of how their products work. Here are 25 of the best–er, worst–we found over the last four years.

The 2010 winner of the annual Wacky Warning Label contest, which challenges Americans to find the most ridiculous warning labels in the country. The Jabra Drive ‘N’ Talk is a Bluetooth speakerphone accessory for cellphones to be used in the car. So should it just be called the “Talk”?

Peanuts

Label: This product may contain nuts.Product: Peanuts & Peanut M&Ms.

Often found on bags of peanuts, including those made by Sainbury, as well as on those yellow bags of Peanut M&Ms. All of which makes you wonder what some conspiracy theorists think they’re buying.

Chainsaw

Label: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.Product: Chainsaw.

Many chainsaws bear this digit-saver, in sticker form, right on their sides.

OK, so what is the sun shield for? Presumably, hanging out in your car, alone, sipping a 44-ounce fountain cup of Mountain Dew, air conditioning on, sun shade firmly in place, contemplating where you’ll drive when the sun finally goes down. Or you could just take the sunshade out of the window and drive in the blistering sun without it.

Sadly, this was a misprint. According to Amy Sandler, a public relations rep at Staples, “The label is meant for our retractable box cutter, where the blades might slide off. Package redesigns are currently being shipped to Staples and Staples.com with the correct ‘Keep out of reach of children’ warning.” Fair enough.

Vanishing Marker

Label: The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.Product: W.H. Collins’ Vanishing Fabric Markers.

Well, that sure takes the fun of out it: After all, who doesn’t like being handed a blank check?

Jet Ski

Label: Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.Product: Jet Ski.

This little ditty can be found on gas caps for personal recreational vehicles such as jet skis and ATVs. Should be followed by: “And if this was news to you, you are not legally permitted to operate this vehicle or, for that matter, leave the house.”

Washing machine

Label: Do not put any person in this washer.Product: Huebsch Washing Machine.

Polly may not have a thing for fancy cookware, and she might not like the fumes potentially given off by hot Teflon, either. “Many animal owners call us inquiring about it,” says Richard Duran, a Bialetti consumer relations representative.