Friday, September 9, 2011

A few years back, it still seems all too vivid even for my own recollection. The bucket of tears that I shed. The sleepless nights I endured. The dreams that were shattered. The glorious fantasies that I conjured up in my head, only to be left disillusioned. The all-too-many questions without a single answer. The worldly pleasures that I drowned myself into just so I could forget. The million and one obstacles I had to overcome just so I could finally move on from it all...

And all it took were those two words. That was more than enough. I had forgiven you even before you knew that I did. I had already known why we weren't meant to be together even before you had it figured out. But most importantly, I had finally told you what I have always wanted to say.

I hope that you will ponder on my words. And when you say you've changed, I hope you mean well. I want you to know that I'm counting on you to do it right this time around. You are better than all of this and I just know, that surely, you can rise above it.

I've always placed my faith in you. And I want you to remember that. I want you to remember how it once was. I want you to recall how we used to be and what we were to each other. Because even if things have changed and time has passed, it has remained to be what it was. I am still here for you. And I have always been a friend. I will never stop being that.

And though we both know that we weren't meant to be together, it does not mean that we weren't meant to be anything at all. You will always be the one who knows me like no one else does. And I am still the one who has always believed in you even when the whole world refuses to do so.

To me, you will always be that only person, my one friend. And after everything that has happened, I know now that we will always stay this way no matter what.

Lost love is still love, Eddie. It just takes a different form, that's all. You can't hold their hand. You can't tousle their hair. But when those senses weaken, another one comes to life. Memory becomes your partner. You hold it, you dance with it. Life has to end, Eddie.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

In this lifetime, I may have loved too many. Probably even loved too much. But this did not make me any less of a person. It only made me realize that I am actually worth so much more. Along this journey, I've had a few regrets. A thing or two I never should have said. A simple gesture I should have done. An apology I should have made. Like anyone else, I would have wanted to turn back time. Maybe then, I wouldn't have made so many mistakes.

But people, like seasons,often do come in and out of the picture. Some linger for a while and then leave. But only to come back again the next time around. And then you begin to wonder why it had to happen. Why those things had to transpire only to be taken away. Why they kept you company and not stayed around. And why they suddenly come out of nowhere as the good old memories come flooding in.

I probably will never have the answers to all my questions. But I do know that I will always remember. My very first. That particular person. And this one and only. All of them, they taught me well.

I have not emerged unscathed. But with time and the many tests of strength along the way, I've learned to cherish and nurture my battle scars. They make up the entirety of who I really am and what I have become because of certain people. Because of them.

Maybe people come and go for a reason. Some leave, never to be heard again because they weren't worth our time and efforts. There are those who come back and realize what they have been missing along the way. And yet there are also those who do return, not to claim vengeance, but because they have found it in their heart to forgive your mistakes and accept the past that cannot be undone. Maybe not everybody is meant to stay in your life, but there are those who are only meant to teach you. And because of them, you are forever changed.

But what about the exceptional ones? Those who withstand the test of time and turmoil? They are the ones that you should hold dear. Because one day, you will just know it. The moment will come when you will have to say that, "Finally, this is the one. This one is worth keeping."