The Italian Queen and her Father George

Is she still the Italian Queen? Well, after what she just did to him, she’s earned back the crown... temporarily. George Clooney is currently campaigning for multiple Oscar nominations. He replaced Elisabetta Canalis with Stacy Keibler. Keibler has been strategically integrated, now part of the award season game plan. Elisabetta Canalis was waiting for the right moment to try and f-ck it up.

Italian journalist Bruno Vespo has written a book, presumably about relationships. Elisabetta decided to discuss her relationship with George and agreed to have that discussion published in Vespo’s Questo Amore. On the surface, she is very complimentary. She says that George is the most philanthropic human being she’s ever met. She praises his dedication to social causes, she calls him a “gentleman” and speaks highly of his treatment of her:

"I was very much respected both as a woman and partner."

She also, rather cleverly, denies that he bailed on her because she wanted marriage and children:

"George and I never spoke of marriage nor of having kids. I don't put limits to the possibility of having them, but neither George nor I had ever envisaged having kids together. The end of the relationship was not caused by a marriage issue, but instead by our personal needs."

Can you elaborate on those personal needs? Sort of...

"(George) has been a special for me, and very important, just as a father would be. Between us there was more of a father-daughter relationship. I was unable to clarify this up 'til now."

Oh that’s good, isn’t it? It’s so subtle, so evil, SO f-cking good.

She sets it up like she only has fond memories, that there is only affection that remains between them, that there is no resentment, that she is at peace with how it ended...

She lets it be known that he is kind and gentle...

After all, a “father figure” is a mentor, too right? It’s not offside to describe him as someone who mentored her, who guided her, who looked after her...

Except she had to know that’s not how these MiniVan bitches will interpret those words. There’s already the nagging criticism that he keeps choosing younger women with hot bodies unaffected by childbirth. Now she’s screaming the obvious and giving them something dirty to call it...

Will they still see George Clooney as the dashing, handsome everyman who, if only he’d drive into their suburb, would no doubt take them out for dinner? Or is George Clooney now a patriarchal perv who prefers their daughters? Actually, yes, he would prefer their daughters. It’s a truth they’ve never wanted to confront. Elisabetta Canalis just made it unavoidable.

Brilliant, ruthless move, non?

The article was the “most read” on People.com this weekend with the headline “I had a father-daughter relationship with George Clooney”.

And for why?

Dancing With The Stars is over. She needs to line up another job. In other words, he’s playing agent for both Canalis and Keibler these days, in addition to bankrolling their lifestyles, all while worrying that Canalis won’t keep her mouth shut. And all of it could have been avoided if he’d only just be ok with going alone to a f-cking awards show. God, why can’t you just bring your mom???

Attached - the Italian Queen with her other father figure Roberto Cavalli in Berlin at the GQ Man of the Year Awards.