Fry: Bring on the beer! And the scantily-clad barmaids! And the more beer!

Shh! (Playing refined version of "the beer barrel polka")

Fry: Hey! I don't smell Bavarian-style vomit. Where's Oktoberfest?

Amy: This is Oktoberfest - the world's most sophisticated exhibition of German food, drink, and culture.
Exquisite.
Care for another, sir? No, I wouldn't want to ruin my Oktoberfest by becoming intoxicated.

Fry: What the hell is going on here?

Leela: Fry, quiet. Oktoberfest is a classy celebration of how far humans have evolved. You need to be on your best behavior.

Fry: No chance! You can all act like Jersey shore socialites, but at least Bender will party with me. Right, buddy?

Bender: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I enjoy partying as much as the next fellow, but this is Oktoberfest.
Good day, sir!

Fry: Ach du freakin' lieber!

Bender: A sausage contest, eh? Sounds like fun on a bun! Shut up! I said it first!

Bender: Oh, my God, it's celebrity chef Elzar! Hey, Elzar, I've just recently started always having dreamt of being a sausage-making champion. Can I get in on this?

Elzar: Sure, I don't care. You bring your ingredients?

Bender: You bet!

Elzar: Hold on there, chief. Regular old pork ain't gonna win this thing. You gotta get innovative with your meat. See chef Fritz over there? He's only using the choicest cuts of hummingbird. Murakami-San got his hands on a nice rack of angel wings. Gonna grind 'em up into heavenwurst. And me? I'm making my spice-weaseled bratwurst outta pork.

Bender: So you are using pork!

Elzar: Pork that's been aged for 3,000 years! Bam!

Bender: Aw, man! I can't beat that with a Craigslist pig. Sorry, Grundy. I'll have to kill you later for some other reason.

(Orchestra playing elegant music) (Grunting)

Leela: Sit up straight! The countess Von Luftballon is watching.

Ach!

Fry: Man, all the fun has been taken out of this once-noble barf-a-palooza.

Leela: You just say that because you're primitive. People in your day were backwards and crude.

Fry: Well, at least we were hammered! Oh, I'm as thirsty as a drunk. Where do all these child-sized beers come from?

Hermes: See that magnificent heavily guarded cask? All the beer's in there.

Leela: Okay, that's it. You are a boorish, primitive Neanderthal!,?poem>

Fry: Neander- [hiccups] -thal?

Leela: Yes. And I've had enough! I'm breaking up with you!

Fry: [gasps] We were going out?! Whoo! I mean, nooo!

Leela: And keep your stupid chicken hat, too!

Fry: and-and the worst part is, I had to have the breakup sex by myself! [sobs]

Bender: Fry, some of us have real problems. I just learned there are people with fancier sausage meats than me!

Fry: I hate future Oktoberfest! It's supposed to be beer and bratwurst, not breakups and...boring thing!

German narrator: For hundreds of years, Oktoberfest has been held here, in the fertile Neander Valley, where prehistoric man once hunted the majestic schnüfel-üfagus, or woolly mammoth. To this day, paleontologists sometimes find entire mammoths frozen in the valley's icy glaciers, perfectly preserved for exactly...

Way to go, Bender! Can I try a piece? You can have yourself a whole big boy.
Mmm mmm! That's good.
Where's Fry? I don't know.
Last I saw, he was jumping up and down in my meat grinder.
By the way, you got a little something right there.
Mmm! This is the best sausage I've ever tasted! (Choking) Oh, my God! That looks like Fry's hair! Oh, come on, don't make jokes like that while I'm eating.
(Screaming) Poor Philip.
He looks so peaceful.
It's tragedy on a bun.

Leela: [sobbing]I ate Fry! I broke up with my boyfriend and then I ate him!

Farnsworth: Oh, now, now, we've all been there. [Turns to Hermes and shakes his head "no".]

Annie: Oh, they'll still be there, hon. I'm just gonna snip the links between them and your conscious brain. Like this one here: "Fry falls off zoo train."

Leela: He thought he recognized one of the monkeys! What was I crying about?

Annie: Oh, we were just cuttin' onions, honey. Let's keep going. "Fry sits on a pie. Fry finds popcorn in his belly button. You eat a sausage made of Fry. Fry gives you a chicken hat"...aw, that's sweet.

Leela: Good morning! Geez, who died?

Leela: I don't know how Bender and I do all this work by ourselves. Maybe we should hire a delivery boy.

I'm kind of chilly.
I don't suppose you have a (Animal bleats) Ooh, still warm! So, what's this delivery to McPluto? and French frr agments of not potatoes.
Fragments of not potatoes? Yep.
They get a big shipment every fri Saturday! What's this? (Squeaks) Oh, it's some kind of chicken hat! It's cute.
So why does it make me feel I don't know sad? (Grunting) (Panting) (Snorting) (Sighs sadly) Why you stare at prehistoric pig butt? Because it makes me feel happy and confused and wistful and sad.
All neanderthal sad.
It in our nature.
Why? It all start 30,000 year ago, in fertile neander valley.
Gugg: Life for our ancestors peaceful until homo sapiens arrive.
We suggest interbreed, become one big happy species.
But they treat us like second-class hominid.
They drive us from valley, and we end up living here, in isolated crevice.
We figure, "whatever.
" But then we get trapped by encroaching ice age.
Now we sealed in, under sky of ice.

Fry: So my sadness makes perfect sense. And I do have vague memories of people refusing to breed with me.

Bender: Guys, guys! My sausage made the finals at Oktoberfest! We gotta go back for the closing ceremony!

Oktoberfest? (Hat squeaks) Sounds like fun! Chief! Me find huge hole melted in ice, out past Cesar Chavez Ridge! Hole go all the way outside! This very interesting.
Maybe someone look into it, many years from now.

Fry: But, chief, this means we're not trapped any more! It's our chance to take back the outside world from those stuck-up homo sapiens with their tools and their pants and such. My fellow big-brows! Are you with me?

Amy: You've been staring at that pumpkin for like, five seconds. What's up?