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Saturday, March 15, 2008

Pink Slip

ginally uploaded by Bethany Mae PhotographyYesterday I was browsing through some article on “How to fire an employee”. Those article give practical tips to the modern corporate Gods of destruction, the HR firing managers. Varieties of tips are available on the internet for these firing managers. After all once you throw an employee, he does not say the regular TaTa..bye bye..Cu.. Rather he says “I too will become like the Tata’s..I’ll buy you..buy you..and See you.” Even after being Lord Shiva, they have their own point of worry. Shiva is prayed but firing managers will become employee’s prey.

On the other side employees in the IT fraternity are scared of reading the morning newspaper. News about recession and pink slips make them stop going to the God of maintenance, the HR team. It is better to go and meet the God of creation, the manpower consultants. I hope the publishers of “Who moved my cheese” can get good business if they promote their book again in Bangalore.

The next widely used question in Human dialogues will be…I’m fired what can I do now? Let us answer this question by wearing our usual humor veil (Nothing serious about it). Here is a step by step guide on what to do after getting fired.

1. Go and sleep well. It has been years since you slept properly at home.

2. Collect some more intellectual but fired gentlemen in your organization. Form a small group. Arrange a firing party for networking. Invite your ex-employer to this firing party and push him into the bon fire. The real firing!

3. Call all those money eating service providers who otherwise knock your door every other day and say boldly “You are Fired”. Time to cut some cost.

4. Update and activate all those Gods resting in the virtual world as login ids in Naukri, Job monster and India times.

5. Time to look down, run run…Faster..Run...Run....FASTER..RUN..RUN on your tread mill. Don’t stop till you can look down and see your toes. Time to trim your tummies.

6. Look for a temporary job in political parties. With elections around, they are the next big users of Information technology. Assist them in starting political blogs, campaigns in You tube, designing opposition party games, e-mail campaigning and a lot more to come. They can even give you a MP or MLA seat as bonus. Be an IT politician. Hey..I just coined a new position for parties.(Pay royalty if you are going to use this)

7. By the time you finish all these you will get a job. Because, India is vast and jobs are enormous. Just relax!

12 comments:

I am planning to venture in to book publishing... you can write both on "How to avoid line of fire at ur work place" for the employees and "How to indiscretely fire your employee" for the employer. In visu style I am kozhandhai killifying, I am thottil aattifying.

Amazing that you can create this magic every time you write a post..hilarious to the core..can't stop laughing..thoroughly enjoyed your post..no wonder you have chosen to be a HR..suits you really well:-)

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My introduction gets edited every month and completely changes every 2 years. Currently working for a large e-commerce company. Surviving in Chennai bearing all its pollution. Still a Citizen of India surviving all the political non sense around. Still retaining some sense in the brain withstanding all the non sense the society is taken through. Now, you can make it out about me. Currently!