Oh Crappy Day

I feel like this entry needs some sort of a disclaimer, but I’m not sure what this disclaimer should say!

A few weeks ago I stopped by my investment property at night and something told me to go into the basement. As soon as I opened the basement door, I heard a big splash of water. I was puzzled so I walked around the basement to identify the cause of the water and I saw that the sewer line was backed up and flushing into the basement. Immediately I realized that I was in a crappy situation (no pun intended).

Since purchasing my house in 2008 things have been going very well. It was renovated a couple of years prior to my purchase, then I upgraded various things two months after buying it. With all of this renovations, things were in very good condition and I haven’t had any serious issues to deal with. Unfortunately, a backed up sewer line became my first pretty serious issue and when I discovered it my day went down the toilet (no pun intended).

I called my dad, who seems to be an expert at everything, and told him about the issue. He calmly suggested that I get an auger and snake the sewer line. The following morning at 6am I got triple coated rubber gloves, old boots and old ill-fitting clothes (all of which would need to be burned in a sacrificial bonfire after this sewer episode) and I went into the basement with a 25ft electric auger. I took the cap off the sewer pipe, which caused its contents to flood onto the floor of the basement, and I fed the auger line into the pipe. The entire line went as far as it could into the sewer pipe and did its drain-clearing job but there was no clear indication on whether or not this removed the sewer backup. Simply put, the entire procedure was a crapshoot (no pun intended).

After I went home and threw my clothes and boots into the trash, I took a very long shower. I went to work that day and then returned to the property in the night to see if everything worked out. It turns out that that the blockage wasn’t completely cleared and I needed to get a more powerful auger. This meant that it was time for attempt number-two (no pun intended).

My dad gave me his second, industrial-strength auger to use. This auger was equipped to handle the biggest situations. It had enough wire in it to clear the entire sewer line of the whole city with as much power as the engine of a Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport. When I fed it into the sewer, it cleared the entire line within 20 minutes and revealed the cause of the blockage, which was a weird object the size of a stool (no pun intended).

After clearing the pipe, I bought several gallons of clorox and I used it to completely disinfect the basement. I also had to make sure that there were no visible or fragrant reminders of this horrible episode. After several days of cleaning things, I was finally done and I took a very long nap to rejuvenate my energy—so I guess you can say that I was pooped (pun intended)!

Now it’s all over and I’m happy! I welcome the next challenge, as long as it’s not sewer related!