Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Friendship

Many of you know about my friend John. We met at work, but I also love him. As a matter of fact, I think that if I were single, and he were heterosexual, and earned more money, and had a better personality, I would marry him. The marriage would really be helped along if he were the last man on earth. And if there were a law making it absolutely mandatory for everyone to marry. And if Proposition 8 were federal law, so I couldn't marry another woman. Or an animal. But only if he asked really nicely because I don't want to seem too eager or anything.

A few weeks ago, John and I had a mini argument, I don't even remember about what and I threatened him with Blog Death.

"I can kill you off on my blog, get lots of posting material out of it and people would probably even send me money for your funeral," I blurted out. What? It was the first thing that came to mind, don't tell me that you haven't thought the same thing.

"Oh, please," he said. "I have my own cult following on your blog." He may have mentioned that I was nothing without him, that he made me and could destroy me and uttered something mildly anti-semitic as well, I don't know. I'm not the type to dwell on the negative.

But it did give me an idea about how I could exploit John.

I decided that I would put up a poll to see who people wanted to ask questions of more--Husbandrinka or John. In no time at all, John was leading by a sizable margin. Insane.

"John is getting more votes that Husbandrinka on my blog," I told Husbandrinka.

"Who is 'Husbandrinka'? Is that me?" Husbandrinka asked. It's almost like he wants me to think that he doesn't give a shit.

So John won.

"Great," John said, when I told him on the phone over the weekend. I detected sarcasm.

"You know, you could be more loving and supportive of my blog," I accused him.

"Listen, if I were any more loving, you'd be pregnant and if I were any more supportive, you wouldn't need a bra."

He just comes up with this stuff. No wonder I transcribe his every word.

So, if you've been saving up questions for John, please let me hear them. I will do my best to get him to answer them, with only the slightest editing from me. A little tweaking here and taking in there, if you will.

Post your questions in comments or email me MarinkaNYC@Gmail.comAnd remember, an opportunity like this does not come every day! You're welcome.