my journey in life as the woman in me merges with the mommy in me

I’m A Ticking Time Bomb

Well here I am starting my 39th week in my pregnancy! I never imagined I would get this far. This just goes to show how little is in our control and why it’s best to just trust in God and your body. Seriously back when I was in my 34th week I was just praying to make it to my 37th week and now here I am just days away from my “Due Date” of November 14th.

I have to admit I do find myself occasionally wondering…when will the big moment arrive…and then I stop myself from the worry/distractions of a future I can’t predict and instead just enjoy the present moment, which is full of so many different experiences that I won’t feel again once our little girl is born. Like feeling her move inside me. I am truly treasuring every movement she makes, even the ones that aren’t as comfy, like when she jabs her foot straight into my right rib. This one seems to be a favorite of hers. And also, secretly, I’m thankful for every day that passes that isn’t “the day” because a little part of me is like “oh, I can finish this up or work on x thing”. This is just such a strange feeling for me because usually when I’m excited about something I at least know to expect it X day and that the moment will arrive…like a planned vacation trip or show or event, etc. But in this situation, there’s an estimated date but really you have no idea when the moment will arrive. You can only enjoy each day leading up to it and know that the rest is in God’s hands.

Plus what really seems to be helping me is that I’m not over thinking what labor will feel like. Usually I like to envision a scenario in my head and go through different options, be prepared, take a few steps to make sure I have a sort of plan. But in this case, I’m really putting all my trust in God and that when the moment arrives things will just happen on their own and that God will protect both our baby girl and I and my body will know what to do. Somehow I know that if I start over thinking this I’m just going to end up freaking myself out and that’s the last thing I want to do. And I can’t wait to share in this experience with my husband and just trust in each other as well. Of course there’s a bit of nervousness, but that’s always the case with anything unknown and new.