A Piece of Euphoria

“Jay are you okay?” My boyfriend Aaron whispers against my ear. I shook my head horizontally as I continued to stare out one of a local coffee shop’s foggy windows in Cleveland, Ohio. Outside the air was blistering cold, enough to send chills down your spine, and every inch of the solid ground was bombarded with snow.

I averted my attention back to Aaron. He was too busy slurping his drink to notice my intense staring rays burning through his forehead. I switched all my weight onto my left foot and cleared my throat. “Do you have to work later?” He reciprocates a nod. “No? You didn’t tell me that.” “Well I wanted to surprise you.” Well I’m surprised all right, I thought, smirking to myself. Aaron never takes a day off from work unless someone has died, gotten in an accident, or he’s COMPLETELY ill. He scoots closer to me and plants a kiss on my shoulder. “Oh really?” I cocked an eyebrow and continued to stare. “Yes pooh. I took the night off just for you.” Since when? Aaron and I have been together for almost a year and a half. A witness on the street who has seen us around might even say we were a married couple. Our relationship formed just like any other typical relationship--There was the attraction, friendship, development of infatuation, and last but not least, love. It wasn’t any surprise that I fell for Aaron. He was tall, built, smart, intellectual, understanding, and goofy. Oh yeah, he was a working FIEND. His favorite motto to live by was “Money over broads”; but obviously that didn’t fly with me because we both knew I was his number one priority.

After about what felt like forever and a day, Aaron and I headed for the door. He paid our bill and grabbed my hand as we started our journey down the street. The weather in Cleveland was no joke. Almost everybody in the city owned cars, and you barely saw anybody walking through the streets. The mid-January cold was enough to form little icicles on the brim of your strands of hair, and the breeze made your teeth chatter. My fingers twitched as I struggled to zip my jacket up to my neck. “Here, I got it.” Aaron swats my hand away and zips me up with ease. “Thanks”, I blurt back. He grabs me close as we continued to cruise the streets leading to his apartment.

Soon enough we had arrived at his apartment complex. It had a brick-red anterior and only two doors. He grabbed my frozen hand and led me through the backyard of his deserted apartment and unlocked the door. As soon as we were inside, I noticed that we had entered his living room. There were two old green couches lined up against the wall, and the living room had light brown carpeting. The room looked like any typical living room: it had a t.v., an old coffee table, green curtains, and grey painted walls. A scented candle rested on the coffee table right next to one of the couches, which left the room smelling like fresh laundry.

Aaron took my jacket while I made myself comfortable on the couch. Soon after that, he took his place right beside me and switched on the t.v. Since it had already gotten late, Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim was already playing Family Guy. I didn’t really care to watch it with him so I basically sat there and zoned out as I heard Aaron laughing and smirking at the t.v. screen.

More Adult Swim shows came on, which meant the time was passing by. I stayed silent as Aaron continued on with his t.v. marathon. “You okay Jay?” “…Huh?” Aaron had lowered the volume with the remote and was now staring dead at me. “Y-y-yeah I’m good.” If only that were the case, I thought. He cocked his eyebrow at me and glared right into my pupils. I hate when he does that. When he does he wouldn’t stop until I told him the truth. “No you ain’t. You haven’t said a word since we got here. Tell big daddy what’s wrong.” I shook my head letting him know that I wasn’t in a joking mood. Aaron rapped his arm around my waist and began giving me light kisses from my arm to the beginning of my shoulder. “Is your mom comin’ home later?” “No. She’s staying at her boyfriend’s house tonight.” He explained between pauses. “Uhhh…so we’re gunna be alone all night?” Something was wrong with me. I’ve been around this kid for a year, and now all of a sudden my heart starts beating like a heavy drum when we’re alone? What’s up with that?

With every kiss I received from him my stomach would go to work churning my insides. My breathing would constantly hitch. I began feeling like I was lying in a tub full of extremely HOT water. I couldn’t resist Aaron. I’ve tried many times, but would obviously fail. To make matters worse, we were soon rolling around on the couch, kissing, caressing, and touching each other like we were born without hands and lips, and it was the first time we had ever gotten to use our new found senses.

More minutes passed, and the tension in the room intensified. The only break we ever took was for only a matter of seconds so that we could catch our breath, and then we went back to getting excited and aroused by each other’s hands. During the whole fiasco I felt Aarons fingers slide up until they reached my sweater. He gently reached over and slid it off until my t-shirt was showing. My brain ticked, and a siren went off in my head reminding me that it had gotten too far the moment Aaron started trying to yank my t-shirt off. “Hold on Aaron I can’t do this.” We both sat up and stared at the gray walls. Silence filled the room.

To kill the awkwardness floating in the atmosphere between us, I quickly got up and rushed for the bathroom. I closed the door using more force then I needed to and switched on the faucet. As the cold water ran, I just stared at the mini-waterfall rushing down the drain. I caught a handful of water and splashed it all over my face, hoping that it would wash away the embarrassment. As I stood in front of the sink and stared into the mirror’s reflection, I could heard a voice inside my head. It started to sound more and more like my mom’s irritated voice. Was I hallucinating? Jayden you’re better than this. If he really loves you he’ll wait until you’re ready. Or just until you guys get married…IF you guys ever do.

My mother disliked the fact that I was around Aaron a lot. She thought the more we hung out, the more our “lust” for each other would grow, and she said that meant being involved with sex. Ever since my freshmen year of High school, my mom attempted to drill abstinence into my naïve mind. At first I thought it was a good idea, but as I got to my senior year, my hormones grew, and it mostly had to do with meeting Aaron.

“Jay, you okay? What are you doin’ in there?” Aaron’s confused voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I re-adjusted my ponytail, switched off the lights, and headed back into the living room.

Aaron was still sitting on the couch, but this time his head was buried in both of the palms of his hand. I took a seat next to him and intertwined my fingers with his. “I’m alright. I just got a lil’ carried away.” “Yeah. I think we both did.” He snickers. “I didn’t wanna ruin the mood. But I guess that’s too late huh?” He looks right into my eyes, and I notice his dark brown eyes glistening with vulnerability.

“You didn’t ruin it. I did. I shoulda’ stopped myself, but I couldn’t. My ba--” I cut him off by hugging him; tightly. I didn’t feel like talking anymore. All I wanted to do was show him how much I cared and that he didn’t ruin anything. I grab his hand and get up from the couch and lead him into his room. I just needed this moment. That’s all my mind wrapped around.

When we were standing at the edge of the bed I looked deeply into his eyes. Suddenly, his mattress cradled my spine as I let myself fall backwards onto his bed. Aaron stood hovering over me, not taking his eyes away from my stare. He switched off the lights in his room, and then the room grew quiet. All that was heard was the slight sound of breathing. “Go ahead.” I whispered so soft it could’ve been my thoughts. I feel his hands reach over and gently slide my shirt over my head. My pants were soon off, followed by everything else that covered my body.

We both knew what was going to happen next, but I kept my mouth glued shut because I didn’t want to ruin the moment again. The only sounds that echoed from the room were breathing and the whistling of the space heater. The time suddenly halted and the world around us had been muted as if we had the remote to our own real-life t.v. show.

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