I wrote this slightly edited post on the Examine 2000 bulletin Board
just before it was closed down. In response to a post by Ted 9/8/00 7:18 pm

Gale

Hi All,

Ted, I read your story with tears in my eyes. It does not seem that long ago that I was walking in your shoes. I remember the day I walked away from the Mission. It is like yesterday. I was lost. It was my life. It was how I raised my children. My family heritage had been transposed with the beliefs of not only Scientology, but those of Harry and Avra, who had no children.

My children were basically neglected for the good of the group. My beautiful daughter was $74,000 in debt at the age of 24. My son had not talked to me in four years because he couldn't get through to me that Harry had brainwashed me. I was devastated. I did not know how to find a job. Except on a social level, I couldn't even communicate.

I lived on a credit card for months. All I could talk about was Harry and the students from the mission. My daughter confided in me that she had not left years earlier because of what she thought Harry would do to me if she did. My heart broke, because the only reason I had stayed was because I was afraid of what they would do to her if I left.

I had always been in good communication with my children. Scientology taught the basics of good communication, right? Why had I not even told my daughter that I wanted to leave?

The tragedy is that my daughter could not confide in me that she wanted out either. I felt like I had failed my child. We were not allowed to talk from our hearts because we would be labelled SUPPRESSIVE. In our world, at the time, that was the worst thing in the world.

If I had left, Avra--under Harry's orders--would have sent Maryann to purchase thousands of dollars worth of more auditing. I loved her, and I couldn't do that to her. I was already so upset over all the falsified tax returns. I did not want her to be one of those who would go to jail. Where had my life gone?

Two months later, I remember sitting in the middle of the mall selling gift certificates, the only thing I was capable of doing. I was watching all the people going by. They all looked so happy. Everyone was smiling and laughing; the children were running and playing.

All in an instant, I realised that I was right after all. People were good and kind, and loving. The world truly was a wonderful place after all. This was such a relief to me that I started to cry with ecstasy. I cried for three days.

When it was over I started to live. I have marvelous relationships with both my children. They have both forgiven me. What more can any mother ask?