-When most people
say “there’s trouble coming” it’s because they’re about to start it.

-Chloe Goins is
the latest woman to come forward with rape allegations against Bill Cosby.

-James Cameron has
postponed the Avatar series yet
again. Bummer.

-The kid that
planned to bomb the Capitol is quite scary looking.

-According to
Barack, the Muslim call to prayer is the most beautiful sound in the world.

5AM (2):

-Snoop Dogg is a
grandfather today.

-The list of
derogatory things can we say about the decision making capabilities of the
Texans in nearly infinite.

6AM (1):

-Why is Texas so
vehemently opposed to gambling? The amount of money that crosses the state
lines into Louisiana and Oklahoma is immense.

-The 20-year-old
that planned to bomb the Capitol is practitioner of Islam. Big surprise.

-Velveeta may not
be real cheese, but it sure is tasty!

6AM (2):

-5 Random Facts

6AM (3):

-A new study
conducted in the Netherlands concluded that people that smell like lavender are
trusted more than those that smell like other fragrances. On a side note, when
did the Netherlands move away from being called Holland?

-Yet another woman
has come forward with rape allegations against Bill Cosby.

-Parody:
Unnecessary censorship

6AM (4):

-Billy Ed can’t
take another story about a stupid person this morning.

-Australia
represents what we used to be before we became a nation of pussies.

-How long before
Putin invades the US?

-In the entire
history of the US, there has never been a US President less popular with the
military than Barack Obama.

7AM (1)

-Some reports
indicate that Barack’s military approval rating is now 15 percent.

-Tomorrow, Duke
University will broadcast the Muslim call to prayer. What country do we live in
exactly?

-Barack may say
that he’s a Christian, but we all know that he’s as Muslim as they come.

-How many lies
does Obama have to tell before he’s considered a bona fide liar? 10, 50, maybe
100…?

7AM (2):

-Parody: Have you
checked out the latest program from Weight Watchers?

-How is sending an
envelope full of glitter considered a prank?

-Turns out that
Houston cops just love to shoot criminals in the face.

7AM (3):

-The IRS announced
yesterday that if you’re expecting a refund this year it will likely be late.
There are still no exceptions for late payments, however.

-Emails: Obamacare
is all about political power as one California engineer puts so eloquently.

7AM (4):

-Drew Brees is
nearly 40. Does this mean he’ll be using a Hurrycane soon?

-Taser report

8AM (1):

-Everyone knows
that Elvis wasn’t a karate expert.

-Rick Springfield
is being sued after inadvertently knocking a woman unconscious with his ass.