VIENNA, Austria - The United Nations eagerly awaits Iran's return from atomic school. But this is no ordinary school day - report cards come out today. Iran has, in recent months, made amazing progress and is expected to pull at least a C+ in the challenging Barring Nuclear Inspectors course, a feat only done so far by schoolyard rival North Korea. Iran is also expected by George W. Bush, father, and Condoleezza Rice, mother, to get a check-plus in gym class and at least a B+ in Sending Al-Quaeda Operatives into Neighboring Countries class. Iran's proud parents have assembled a meeting to congratulate Iran on its remarkable progress in the field of nuclear sciences.