.....what I write when I am not writing software codes. Almost as illogical.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

The great Indian CAR-ste System.

Recently
a very amusing encounter happened between an Audi and a Nano at Trivandrum.
Apparently cars do not respect each other based on their make. Well here is
what really happened. A family was driving home in a Nano. They did not give
way to the celebrity vehicle Audi that was following them, because the signal
was red and there was no choice for the Nano but to stay where it was.
Apparently the Audi got fast and furious that the Nano did not hold her skirt
and bow down as it was supposed to. Further things got lame and silly when the
Audi driver got out of his car after overtaking the Nano and manhandled the
Nano driver who was travelling with his family. Poor Nano was publicly reminded
that the road was the ancestral property of the Audis and the BMWs, and that traffic signals were not applicable to them. And that Mukesh
Ambani does not enter Reliance offices by swiping his id card. You need to have
polarized vision to read unwritten, but pretty obvious celebrity vehicle rules,
my Nano friend!

As
for me this is like watching the CARS movie, or a long drive with the hubby,
whose mind is full of car politics. For example when we used to drive a Maruti
Swift in India, he used to give way to Honda Accord to overtake but not to an
i10, because apparently i10 dint have what it takes. May be i10 needed to grow
up and become a Honda Accord or something. Other Maruti Swifts with brighter colors and better alloy
wheels would not be spared either. And let’s not discuss Nano! This was one of
the startling revelations about him I learnt post marriage because till then
all the trips I ever went were with Papa and Mummy during which even bicycles
overtook us. So after understanding car politics I was like Wow! These guys do
not have ANY right to mock us girls, just because we go green eyed when somebody turns up
in a brand new dress or handbag. They have mean car politics going on in
their heads! Untold dark secrets of stupid car politics!

For
the uninitiated, the car-ste system is something like this. The Big B travels in a
Rolls Royce because it is old,rich, handsome and elegant just like him. His
granddaughter travels in a Mini Cooper, because it is small and cute, and also
showcases the brand of the family she belongs to. Salman Khan drives a Range
Rover as he is a ‘young’ sporty bachelor, and that’s also something which can
kill innocent people on the streets and get away. Other rich businessmen and
celebrities drive BMWs, Benz and Audi variants. All other cars, invariably Maruti
and Hyundai hatchbacks are owned by honest, taxpaying aam aadmis. And there are
classes there too.

Then
there are the spoilt brat cars. For example the Ambani kids drive the Aston
Martin, some NRI kids of Kerala under ten years of age drive the Ferrari and
other rich kids of the Middle East drive Lamborghinis and Porsche, a regular
sight for us commoners. And when they race through those lesser travelled roads
near the airport, a 5:00 pm weekend sport of rich teenagers, regular cars
either stop or reduce speed and shift to a side as a sign of reverence. Or
fear.

People
choose cars by how it makes them look among others. If you drive to a fancy
restaurant in a normal car, the security may gesture you to park outside, but
if you go in a shiny SUV, he will open the door for you and park it too.

In an
Indian arranged marriage if the groom comes in a top end car then he is
considered to be a great catch by the bride’s nosey relatives. Whereas if the
bride arrives in a luxury car, the guy is considered to be lucky and any flaws
associated with either of the couple will be conveniently overseen. What if the
bride is a notorious college dropout? Her father gave her Audi Q7 as dowry wedding gift…! Instantly she is elevated to sainthood.

Flashback
to year 2007.

I was in Mumbai on a project, with five others, trying to cross a
busy road. We stood by the zebra cross trying to make eye contact with speeding
drivers for at least fifteen minutes.

Me
(to friend): “Let’s start taking baby steps, until we reach somewhere near the center
of the road. Then at least somebody will let us pass… come” I took two steps.

A
lorry was coming slowly.

Friend:
“Hey if you want to die then target that Benz, not this lorry. Atleast the news
of your accident will sound cooler.”

P.S
: I always had such awesome, 'caring' friends. I still do. Thank you very much J

Oh this car-ste system is ridiculous. You forgot to mention the huge SUVs here that climb the pavements to make way for themselves. They consider themselves superior to all! In India, however, the swanky audi and merc rule the roost. Imagine if these SUVs go there... I donno where will the homeless go then!

Your friend was actually right, though driven over by a lorry does sound big, but driven over by a Benz sure is classy!

Hilarious post, which does reveal the 'soft' side of men. ;-)

Besides, many men (read most) have a penchant for power (or at least to overpower) which drives them to such crazed beasts in elegant finishing aka cars. Not that there aren't women, but it is highly likely that such women have a dominating spirit which exudes itself in their persona.

Oh this is a real thing.. trust me. I've seen senior doctors do this nautanki, leave alone others. Give way for Jags and Benz' and BMWs... its actually scary how many of them u see nowadays in Kerala. Not as rare as u would expect. And yes, Tata is ppretty much the lowest rung in many people's opinion... Tata Nano? Who allowed that off the sidewalk?

Hahahaaaahaaaa.....soo, sooo true Anita. I have myself seen[and mind u we dont even have a car] how sitting behind a wheel can make a simple, ordinary man go beserk err I meant forget himself;-P. The bigger the car the more respect u give/demand/take depending on which side of the road u r on.

And to think that the influential Mr.Audi managed to slip out through the hidden loop holes tailored for him by the law and order system of the city...Disgusting. Car politics is getting dirty...Seriously.

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