8/19/2015

So this guy, Rick Wilson, GOP consultant, commentator, what the fuck ever, went on CNN to say that the 25% of Republicans who support Donald Trump are knuckle-dragging troglodytes who shit in ditches and call it gold. Or words to that effect.

Conservative spooge sock John Nolte writes about it on Breitbart (motto: "Andrew Breitbart may have been a coke-snorting monster, but he sure was a coke-snorting monster"), and, predictably, the Breitbart minions - the trolls and goblins and lepers and syphilitics who make up their Comments section - go on the attack and, predictably, take it too far, not only referring to Wilson as a "jewfag," but threatening to rape his daughter.

Wilson, understandably upset at the threat that women on the internet deal with every day (except it's towards his daughter and not him because, ew, rape a dude? That's so gay), lashed out at the aforementioned spooge sock. They even got John Podhoretz and Ann Coulter involved because, at this point, this has become an amazing clusterfuck of wretchedness, like a ball of spiders floating in open sewage. You don't want to help them because fuck that. Let them all drown in shit. By the end of the day Monday, Wilson had backed off attacking Nolte because, hey, no one wants anyone raped.

"But, wait," you may say, "you promised us anal." The Rude Pundit did, so bend over while he delivers with the following Twitter exchange:

Ann Coulter jumps in to mock the threat of rape and Wilson counters with his, c'mon, hilarious comeback, calling Coulter a hooker. (For the record, anal always costs more.) There are so many dicks and cunts involved in this story that it's pretty much a blood orgy for the soul of the conservative movement.

Wilson later deleted the tweet because everyone knows that Coulter's anus is lined with teeth-like calluses.

While the dissension on the left has to do with how Black Lives Matter confronts Democratic candidates, the dissension on the right is a sad showdown between the Barking Mad and the Merely Insane. Lock 'em in a room. Whatever happens then, everyone else wins.