Modern Philosophical Paradoxes and Conundrums

There is no more room on the subway, yet at every stop additional passengers keep boarding the train.

If you don’t tell your mother about your new tattoo, does it exist for her?

How many people need to show up to your party before it can actually be considered a party? How many people need to leave before the party is over? Why is Mark still here?

If the essentialist theory of art holds that each medium excels and fails based on its mode of communication, why has there never been a good Web series?

Where does the body end and the mind begin when you’re really, really drunk?

You just did the dishes, then left the kitchen for five minutes, and now there are more dishes in the sink. Your roommate has been in his bedroom this entire time. Is “ghosts” a good explanation for this one? Can ghosts be the answer to a philosophical quandary?

Is Adam Driver hot?

What constitutes a “heap” of garbage piled right outside your front door? How much garbage must one remove before it is no longer a heap and doesn’t smell horrible?

Does an objective moral reality exist and, if so, is it cool to break up with somebody via text?

If the bodega across the street from you becomes a matcha bubble-tea shop/pop-up immersive theater and improv space, is it time to move?

If a prestige streaming comedy has an all-star cast and rave critical reviews and you binge-watch the whole thing and don’t laugh a single time, is something wrong with you, or with every critic who calls the show “painful, emotionally honest, hilarious, and perfect”?

Why hoverboards?

No matter how much you try to keep your plant alive it dies, and no matter how hard you try to kill the mouse in your kitchen it lives.

How is this Crown Heights café so crowded at 2 P.M.? Is everybody just freelance now?

We have no verifiable way of truly knowing if Wikipedia has just been kidding this whole time.