The School Decision

Wow, thank you to so many of you for weighing in on Hope’s big decision about where to attend high school this fall. This last week has just been amazing. In giving her complete autonomy over this major life decision, I witnessed my daughter’s transformation. I’m awestruck by her process.

Honestly, when she broached the subject of revisiting her decision a week ago, I’m also shocked at how easily I was able to just step back and give her the space to think about her options. I genuinely no longer was deeply vested in one school or the other. I was just committed to supporting Hope make a decision she would be confident in moving forward. As I begin to reflect on this last week, I will always, always be focused on the decision process rather than the decision. It’s the process that gave me such an amazing glimpse of who Hope has become and her big picture potential.

So, it’s like when Lebron was on ESPN announcing that he was moving to Miami, right?

Image via YouTube

It certainly feels like it.

So, without further ado, I’m delighted to announce that Hope will be enrolling in boarding school in just a few short weeks.

By Sunday evening, it was starting to become clear that she was leaning in this direction, but by Monday she had fully committed. With the decision now made she is reveling in all the imminent changes. There’s minimal anxiety, more excitement than fear and so much pride in sharing her news with her friends and teachers.

I’ve got to make a lot of magic happen in a very short period of time since we will be going on an extended vacation in less than two weeks, and she will almost immediately report to school when we return stateside. I’m just basking in her excitement at the moment, but thoughts about what does the extended empty nest really mean for me are tinging the edges of my consciousness. Not in a bad way, but my gut tells me that this move is really a game changer. My gut tells me that when Hope returns after graduation she will have really found her sea legs and will be launching a little sooner rather than later. So random thoughts about what this next phase of parenting will look like and how will I document it float gingerly through my mind. There are other happy developments happening in my life that will no doubt fill some of the time Hope’s departure will create, but it won’t be parenting her, cooking for her, harassing her about laundry or cleaning her bathroom. The daily rigors of parenting have become such a part of my life and I haven’t really had much time to think about what it would look like if her departure was extended. I think I might be in a bit of shock.

I’m so excited for this next chapter, even not having any friggin idea what shape it will take.

So, yeah, Hope is morphing from an Eagle (home school) to a Yellow Jacket (new school, with an insect that she’s terrified of) in just a couple of short weeks, and we are ecstatic!!!!!

Look at how that maturity has bloomed. Congratulations Hope! Congratulations Momma – this is undoubtedly the fruit of the safe place and awesome parenting you have given and continue to give. You have helped her change the trajectory of her life!

Congratulations to you both! I empathize with your feelings of shock. It reminds me of a post on Design Mom when her daughter suddenly decided to spend her senior year away from home. She wrote, “I really thought I had another year with her, and I kept having this feeling at the airport, with panic-ed heart beats: This is it? This is the whole amount of time I had to parent you? The clock has already run out? What if I forgot to teach you something? What if I didn’t hug you enough? Or say enough kind things? It’s too fast! I already miss you!!”

I am so excited for you two. I haven’t had children go away to boarding school but I do have adult children in college and I think my relationship with them is so special and unique – and still requires a lot of parenting!!!

I’m so excited for both of you, and so proud of how both of you approached this decision. I have adopted two younger kids from foster care, and you really inspire me to offer them more agency in the decisions of their lives. Kudos, and hugs to both of you.

Thanks so much for sharing so much of your journey and story with us. I’ve been reading your blog and used to listen to add water and stir since we were still in home study mode. The kids have been with us for 15 months now, and you have been a real help to me. Thanks again for letting us into your world.

[…] after 4 years to send her away for her final year of high school. I mean, I didn’t send her away, Hope made this choice and it really was her choice. Hope and I thought that she would be a late bloomer, maybe staying home for a few years. She may […]

[…] away at school. I find myself wondering if I did the right thing by her with the school thing even though I left the decision to go away to her; every evening I come home to just Yappy, I wonder if she’s ok and if we’re ok. After 4 years […]

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