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I hated being a girl: Dia Mirza

Actor Dia Mirza opens up about her years in school when her fair complexion won her special treatment from teachers and alienated her from peers. In the years to come, she realised what real beauty is. Read on…

Photograph by Yogen Shah

“Thanks to my German father and Bengali mother, I inherited a quaint mix of typical Indian features and an extraordinarily fair complexion. Though this may be regarded as an advantage by many people in India, while I was in school, it alienated me from my peers. I was often chosen for the lead roles in all school plays and was a favourite among many teachers; most of my classmates resented me for this. So much so that I beseeched my teachers to hand me inconsequential roles. I used to often tell my mother that I wish I had skin that wasn’t so milky. In my teens, therefore, I hated being a girl and often hung out with the boys, playing cricket, football and basketball.

“Thankfully, it was my mother who instilled in me that beauty is what beauty does. That it’s not about creamy skin and almond eyes, but humility, gratitude, kindness and goodness. She always made sure that the compliments I received never went to my head. In fact, she often reminded me to pay more attention to little acts of kindness, to be thankful for the small, sweet gestures that people do and that so often go unnoticed. Maybe that’s why even today I am more delighted when people compliment me on my kindness or generosity rather than for my hair or skin.

“The women I regard as stunningly beautiful are the ones who are not aware of how beautiful they truly are. They may be aware of their assets but not conscious enough for that awareness to be a vanity, who never allow their looks to take precedence over everything else in their lives. I can compare this consciousness to that of a child who is not made to feel fearful of the dark, and, therefore, is unafraid of the darkroom.

“I have always been drawn to people who have an inner radiance and strength that shine through. Some of the women who dazzle me with their remarkable beauty are Shabana Azmi, Shireen Ebadi, Gayatri Devi, Arundhati Roy and Amrita Shergill. But my greatest beauty icon is my mother, an amazingly well-read, cultured, and thoughtful woman. Of course, there are a few beauty must-dos that I follow faithfully. I make sure I remove every trace of makeup before I hit the bed. I never skip the cleanse-moisturise-tone routine, and I drinks lot of water. I like the glow that my skin gets when I do a rigorous workout. When it comes to beauty products, I prefer organic, eco-friendly stuff.

“I cherish what I have, and never fret over what could have been better. I like the little imperfections that each one of us brought along when we arrived in this world. After all, that’s what gives you the identity that is so unique to you. I understand the compulsions that drive people to go under the knife, but, personally, I think corrective surgery is best resorted to when you have an actual physical deformity. Recently I read an interview with Vidya Balan in a newspaper, and something she mentioned in there shall always stay with me. “In the world of individuality, there is no place for perfection.

"I am happy to see that more and more women are embracing their uniqueness. Let’s accept ourselves as we are. Trust me, you are beautiful just the way you are.”