my journey through the depression jungle

letter to the family

this is an email that i sent to my family letting them know of my new diagnosis.

title: Good New!

body:

I’m bipolar.

I bet your reaction was similar to a good friend of mine. His wife has struggled with depression much of her adult life only to be diagnosed bipolar. He initially replied to my diagnosis , “I’m sorry.”

You see, even he, who deals with this disorder every day, still fits into societal stereotypes. Society has preconceived, misconceived, and ill–conceived notions of Bipolar disorder, bpd as I’ll refer to it.

Bpd, or its equally other maligned name, manic depressive disorder, for to long has had stigma of wild and nearly uncontrollable moods swings from depression to manic. Along with that, comes with someone unable to deal with society and best be locked away. If that’s the case, better get ready to throw away the key, because I’d be headed to the loony bin.

¿Fortunately?, my manic swings are nearly non–existent. That lead me and me docs to believe that I only had struggles with episodic depression. Because of that, my real problem had gone undiagnosed for years.

An additional “side effect” of the treatment of my depression with SSRI’s potentially shortened the times between my episodes of depression. Oh what joy!

With a proper diagnosis, there are some “mood stabilizers” that will help restore some balance to my life. With that, comes a good prognosis.

With my new found discovery, I would like to pass along some advice. If you or someone you know has been struggling with on and off depression, it might make sense to schedule a trip to a psychiatrist to review if there might be a misdiagnosis, similar to what happened to me.

It would also behove you to add this to your medical history; there is a genetic component with this disorder. Studies with identical twins show that if one twin has bpd, there is a one in three chance that the other twin of suffering with the disorder at some level, also.

My psychiatrist has given me a pretty extensive package of information on bpd and its treatments. If you would like to see them, just let me know and I can forward them on to you.

It has been a long a rocky road. There is a new found hope that perhaps, with a little bit of roadwork, I’ll finally have a smoother ride. Let’s hope so. I’ve already worn out one too many sets of shocks!

About bipolarsojourner

i have struggled with episodic depression for years. i then received a diagnosis of being bipolar, only to find out i didn’t. ends up my psychiatrist really meant to say that multiple bouts of depression are often best treated like bipolar. i had already started this blog as bipolar sojourner and didn't want to switch it over. i am documenting my journeys through my depression jungle.

That’s a long story. Mostly major depression, though. This site is bipolarsojourner because initial mixup with my psychiatrist. He heard my story of the many bouts with depression. We were near the end of our appointment and I heard him rush in a bipolar diagnosis. I started the blog and got it active. The next time I visited my psychiatrist I sought clarification. He then said no, you’re not bipolar; sometimes it is best to treat someone with many depressions like you as if they had bipolar. I didn’t want to start a new depressionsojourner site, so I just kept this one. I believe if you go back far enough into my dusty archives, you will find a post spelling this out, probably April or May or 2013.

Though, listening to your description of bipolar 2 has got me wondering, again. I fit many of the traits you described.

this is me-i’m the one in the middle

i have struggled with episodic depression for years. i then received a diagnosis of being bipolar, only to find out i didn’t. ends up my psychiatrist really meant to say that multiple bouts of depression are often best treated like bipolar. i had already started this blog as bipolar sojourner and didn't want to switch it over. i am documenting my journeys through my depression jungle.