How can I live like this?

Hello, My name is Paden. I am a black, 28 year old, homosexual. I dont see how I can live as a gay person. I want to die. I guess I believe in Jesus and God,

Message 1 of 4
, Feb 26, 2008

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Hello,
My name is Paden. I am a black, 28 year old, homosexual. I dont
see how I can live as a gay person. I want to die. I guess I believe
in Jesus and God, but I dont think anyone can help me anymore. Why do
I have to be gay? I didn't choose this, it chose me. Why do the
churches hate us so much? Why does the bible condemn homosexuality?
What does God think on the issue? Also, these ex-gay ministries, are
they serious? I mean, can you change to become a heterosexual? I am
just so tired of life, being a homo, feeling like a bad christian,
and all the worries of being 28 and living at home... I just cant
take it anymore! I wish I were dead because being a homosexual has
brought nothing but pain to my life. I am a 28 year old virgin, I
have never been with anyone before. I am alone. I dont fit into the
gay community it seems, I admit though I havent seen much of it. Is
it ok for me to like white men as a black gay man? That bothers me
too. I just dont understand how God can be with me, yet I am in so
much pain. I just dont want to live anymore. I am on anti-
depressants, but they dont help anymore. I have tried psychatrists,
drugs, praying, hope, etc, but nothing seems to work. It just seems
to get worse and worse. Nothing seems to make me happy. Sigh, I guess
I am just weary and tired of life in general. Any suggestions?

Shannon Cline

this is the first step; being able to vent and share your feelings with others who are going through similar situations...I found a lot of healing and

Message 2 of 4
, Feb 26, 2008

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this is the first step; being able to vent and share your feelings with others who are going through similar situations...I found a lot of healing and restoration and was able to reconcile my christianity with my lesbianism with the help I sought through God and I found a church that was accepting and affirming of the GLTB community...Also I go to support groups for coming out where i also get to be honest and open in a safe environment...also i went to a marriage and family therapist, who was gay and christian and was able to understand what I was going through...just don't give up and you will find hope!

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MrChuk@aol.com

You are NOT alone! Many of us have walked your path before you. God loves you Just As I Am ... We are all accepted in the Beloved . I hope these

Message 3 of 4
, Feb 26, 2008

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You are NOT alone! Many of us have walked your path before you. God loves
you "Just As I Am"... We are "all accepted in the Beloved". I hope these
resources will help you. Hang it there. What you've been taught is not all the
truth there is.... keep seeking...

Hello,
My name is Paden. I am a black, 28 year old, homosexual. I dont
see how I can live as a gay person. I want to die. I guess I believe
in Jesus and God, but I dont think anyone can help me anymore. Why do
I have to be gay? I didn't choose this, it chose me. Why do the
churches hate us so much? Why does the bible condemn homosexuality?
What does God think on the issue? Also, these ex-gay ministries, are
they serious? I mean, can you change to become a heterosexual? I am
just so tired of life, being a homo, feeling like a bad christian,
and all the worries of being 28 and living at home... I just cant
take it anymore! I wish I were dead because being a homosexual has
brought nothing but pain to my life. I am a 28 year old virgin, I
have never been with anyone before. I am alone. I dont fit into the
gay community it seems, I admit though I havent seen much of it. Is
it ok for me to like white men as a black gay man? That bothers me
too. I just dont understand how God can be with me, yet I am in so
much pain. I just dont want to live anymore. I am on anti-
depressants, but they dont help anymore. I have tried psychatrists,
drugs, praying, hope, etc, but nothing seems to work. It just seems
to get worse and worse. Nothing seems to make me happy. Sigh, I guess
I am just weary and tired of life in general. Any suggestions?

This is an extreme example of how the struggles that Christian gays face can result in severe and irreparable harm to self and/or others. I never contemplated

Message 4 of 4
, Nov 10, 2008

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This is an extreme example of how the struggles that Christian gays
face can result in severe and irreparable harm to self and/or others.
I never contemplated suicide, but I was in danger of losing my first
job after college graduation. The fire of sexual passion burned so
hot that it could be detected by handsome co-workers, without words
or actions - just by my 'aura' or 'vibrations', or better
still, 'radiation'. 'Radiation' is what happens when any object that
gets hot enough starts glowing red - the heat can be seen. My
youthful and forcefully suppressed sexual passion was 'hot' enough to
visibly 'radiate!'

I'm almost certain Paden has prayed to God many thousands of times to
remove these passions, in good faith and believing this to be God's
will. Once irreparable harm threatens, apply a common sense
principle: [Romans 13:8-10] Once a situation develops such that, as a
practical matter, one of two sins seems inevitable, [Romans 7:15-24],
select the lesser sin. Any act it takes no faith to believe is wrong
and sin (that is, it harms self and/or other humans) is greater than
an act that DOES take faith to believe is sin. For a born again
Christian to commit (or even consider) suicide negatively glorifies
God VASTLY worse than gay sexual activity! (And even this concedes,
for the sake of argument, that the Bible totally condemns all
homosexual activity.)

I could go on and on about this, especially reading about such
extreme hellish anguish! But this is my first post, so other insights
and thoughts will follow.

>
> Hello,
> My name is Paden. I am a black, 28 year old, homosexual. I

dont

> see how I can live as a gay person. I want to die. I guess I

believe

> in Jesus and God, but I dont think anyone can help me anymore. Why

do

> I have to be gay? I didn't choose this, it chose me. Why do the
> churches hate us so much? Why does the bible condemn homosexuality?
> What does God think on the issue? Also, these ex-gay ministries,

are

> they serious? I mean, can you change to become a heterosexual? I am
> just so tired of life, being a homo, feeling like a bad christian,
> and all the worries of being 28 and living at home... I just cant
> take it anymore! I wish I were dead because being a homosexual has
> brought nothing but pain to my life. I am a 28 year old virgin, I
> have never been with anyone before. I am alone. I dont fit into the
> gay community it seems, I admit though I havent seen much of it. Is
> it ok for me to like white men as a black gay man? That bothers me
> too. I just dont understand how God can be with me, yet I am in so
> much pain. I just dont want to live anymore. I am on anti-
> depressants, but they dont help anymore. I have tried psychatrists,
> drugs, praying, hope, etc, but nothing seems to work. It just seems
> to get worse and worse. Nothing seems to make me happy. Sigh, I

guess

> I am just weary and tired of life in general. Any suggestions?
>

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