writer, editor, haiku revivalist

I came across this site on my daily internet search for “how to help humanity.” Unsurprisingly, boobs come up A LOT in these searches, except when you’re trying to save humanity from breast cancer. Then boobs aren’t actually that helpful. But this Pink Glove Dance is. Watch it and join the cause!

Anyway, Tits for Troops (which is obviously not safe for work, and neither is this post) is pretty self-explanatory, but here’s the spiel from their website:

“This site is dedicated to supporting the men and woman of our troops, in hopes of boosting some moral [sic]. If you are interested in participating, snap a picture, doesn’t have to be anything special, just your Tits…”

Before you get to any tits, however, there’s a “disclaimer” that many of our troops can’t SEE the site and to join this adult Yahoo! group and post pictures of your boobs there too. So, you know, they’re really spreading a lot of moral around the interwebs. But wait, you ask, what about the dude-lovin’ servicemen and the 7 female troops who aren’t gay? What do they get out of this? I’m so glad you asked.

Moobs.
Seriously guys? THIS is the best you can do? I had to scroll through several pages to even get that half nipple shot. You’ve disgraced your country. What’s the expression, “Show us your tits or move to Canada”? “Starve a moob, feed a fever”? Whatever, I think you KNOW what I’m getting at, gentlemen. Next time, I expect to see a little more ingenuity, a little more enthusiasm, and a little more waxing please. This isn’t the United States of ChewbaccAmerica.