.Meanwhile, we would appreciate the return of a little kindness. Help us all remember one of the reasons we came to this board in the first place. It's a place of support for each other as each of us travels our own parenting journey. People should be able to post a question or a comment without being afraid of other members not taking them seriously and picking apart their posts to poke fun at them. Can we bring back that support and camaraderie, please? We're not asking for a total and final end to all venting/joking/sarcasm/whatever, but just be aware of situations in which the recipient might take it the wrong way and perceive it as mean-spirited teasing or overly-snarky, post-stirring venting instead of the lighthearted humor it was intended to be.

To the bolded, THIS is what I miss most, and what I so desperately want back. Thank you for hitting the nail on the head!

Advertisement

__________________

Wife, WAHM, born-again Christian, proud mommy to my loving, energetic son (4) and blessed, miracle daughter God gave us our RAINBOW baby ! IWILLWARRIORON...This mama misses her three baby angels (10.19) (1.29)(4.18)I have given my cross to Jesus, who has a special talent for overcoming them, even if it means giving His own life...

Andrea, I understand how you and your team are focusing on sticking together. Members are doing this as well. It's still strange to see people banned and no reason given. In the few years I've been here, I've never not been able to know why someone was banned. It's obvious in their post history, their iTrader feedback, or it's user requested and that's been clearly delineated in the past.

As for sticking together, your team doesn't present a unified front and that's becoming a huge issue in credibility. Serena fields a list of specific questions and says they are being taken back to get some answers. You allude to both the old mod team not sticking around for an extra 24 hours to get answers and now are saying there are no answers, that there is no missing or occluded information. Juan comes in to tell us to knock it off and get over it. Erica alludes that Aki was hacking into your system (a super SERIOUS thing to accuse someone of) and then apologizes, but that's been literally the only explanation anyone has seen about banning.

Do you see how none of this was helping? I get that you, Serena, Erica and Diana were in a weird spot because at first you weren't given all the necessary information and you guys were answering things with what you thought you knew. But a lot of that was just fueling the fire. Posting today and the past week that you are upset that people are unappreciative and you don't get those warm and fuzzy feelings just makes everyone on THIS team, the member team, feel like you don't get that people are still waiting for one of two things to come with the damage that's been done - either an acknowledgement that is sincere and a genuine "let's move forward," or a complete explanation.

__________________
Andrea
Mama to B and E, Wife to E
Parenting with Hugs and Terror since 2011

Andrea, I understand how you and your team are focusing on sticking together. Members are doing this as well. It's still strange to see people banned and no reason given. In the few years I've been here, I've never not been able to know why someone was banned. It's obvious in their post history, their iTrader feedback, or it's user requested and that's been clearly delineated in the past. As for sticking together, your team doesn't present a unified front and that's becoming a huge issue in credibility. Serena fields a list of specific questions and says they are being taken back to get some answers. You allude to both the old mod team not sticking around for an extra 24 hours to get answers and now are saying there are no answers, that there is no missing or occluded information. Juan comes in to tell us to knock it off and get over it. Erica alludes that Aki was hacking into your system (a super SERIOUS thing to accuse someone of) and then apologizes, but that's been literally the only explanation anyone has seen about banning. Do you see how none of this was helping? I get that you, Serena, Erica and Diana were in a weird spot because at first you weren't given all the necessary information and you guys were answering things with what you thought you knew. But a lot of that was just fueling the fire. Posting today and the past week that you are upset that people are unappreciative and you don't get those warm and fuzzy feelings just makes everyone on THIS team, the member team, feel like you don't get that people are still waiting for one of two things to come with the damage that's been done - either an acknowledgement that is sincere and a genuine "let's move forward," or a complete explanation.

*clap* *clap* thank you. I don't personal have anything against any admin/mods but I have disliked that you (mod/admin team) say one thing and do another. We want our happy DS back too but can't just let everything be the way it was because trust has been broken.

either an acknowledgement that is sincere and a genuine "let's move forward," or a complete explanation.

I already said that we can't give a complete explanation, and I thought my post was sincere and "let's move forward"-y, so I don't know what we're missing. I don't know what acknowledgement you want.

The site rules have never changed. It's never been okay to disrespect the mod/admin team and it's never been okay to stir the pot. At the team's discretion, yes, sometimes it's necessary to skip the strikes and go straight to a ban. We've had members in the past contact us if they think they've been banned in error and discussed it with them. I only know of a couple of people who have come to us to ask what happened with their account and why they were banned, and I've spoken with them. Not all bannings for all time from the beginning of the board have been listed publicly. I've made an effort to change the user title of those who've requested a user ban from me recently to display that it was user requested. In the future, we can possibly list out the banning reasons in members' profiles again. That would likely be a case-by-case basis that the team would discuss.

Regarding Rena making a list to get answers, she said she would take the questions to Juan and Cricket, but there was no way she could promise that answers would also be freely given. In fact, she specifically said here that she could not promise answers but that she would take all the points up with Juan and Cricket, which she did.

Regarding my thoughts that if the old team had stayed for 24 more hours then they wouldn't have left, I still believe that. No, we didn't receive line-item answers, but the communication was there and available.

I already said that we can't give a complete explanation, and I thought my post was sincere and "let's move forward"-y, so I don't know what we're missing. I don't know what acknowledgement you want.

FWIW, I think the last post where you said no one was going to discuss things and there was no further information to be had was the most clear anyone has been this whole time.

Quote:

Regarding Rena making a list to get answers, she said she would take the questions to Juan and Cricket, but there was no way she could promise that answers would also be freely given. In fact, she specifically said here that she could not promise answers but that she would take all the points up with Juan and Cricket, which she did.

That was later in the thread. Probably after she talked with you all and realized she could answer any of the questions be asked due to the mods' "code of silence". Before that she said this, this and this. Please don't act like she didn't lead everyone to believe that some direct answers to specific questions were coming. Perhaps she didn't know she couldn't answer them when she offered to take the list down, but the very strong implication was that she was going talk with you all and get answers specifically to those questions. And again, in the midst of waiting for that clarification (which didn't come until today) was when you offered new smilies and an April Fool's joke. The perception was, among the members, that you were trying to distract them from or ignore their concerns.

And it is not unreasonable to think, given the extraordinary circumstances, that perhaps the CM's/Admin/mods would take a little leeway with the rules since they seemed to be in flux (banning people for being "inactive" for instance, as well as changing the strike system to a points system) and offer some more direct explanations.

Quote:

I don't want this to be an epic battle of "mod team versus member team." I want us all to work together and move forward.

This is kind of hard, because it seems like the mod team's perspective is that if the members were just more reasonable none of this would be a problem.

__________________

~J, wife to one, mama to three wild and crazy guys and one little lady!~

In every single one of those posts, I stated over and over I would take the questions back to the team and try to get some clarity, which is exactly what I did, and we posted a response based on our discussions. I never changed my stance, my offer was the same from beggining to end, to take concerns back to the team to discuss. Which I did. And to which we posted a response. People may not have liked the response, but we did discuss everything and we did post a response. There were no empty promises.

In every single one of those posts, I stated over and over I would take the questions back to the team and try to get some clarity, which is exactly what I did, and we posted a response based on our discussions. I never changed my stance, my offer was the same from beggining to end, to take concerns back to the team to discuss. Which I did. And to which we posted a response. People may not have liked the response, but we did discuss everything and we did post a response. There were no empty promises.

But there were no actual answers, which we thought was what we'd be getting.

Andrea, I understand how you and your team are focusing on sticking together. Members are doing this as well. It's still strange to see people banned and no reason given. In the few years I've been here, I've never not been able to know why someone was banned. It's obvious in their post history, their iTrader feedback, or it's user requested and that's been clearly delineated in the past.

As for sticking together, your team doesn't present a unified front and that's becoming a huge issue in credibility. Serena fields a list of specific questions and says they are being taken back to get some answers. You allude to both the old mod team not sticking around for an extra 24 hours to get answers and now are saying there are no answers, that there is no missing or occluded information. Juan comes in to tell us to knock it off and get over it. Erica alludes that Aki was hacking into your system (a super SERIOUS thing to accuse someone of) and then apologizes, but that's been literally the only explanation anyone has seen about banning.

Do you see how none of this was helping? I get that you, Serena, Erica and Diana were in a weird spot because at first you weren't given all the necessary information and you guys were answering things with what you thought you knew. But a lot of that was just fueling the fire. Posting today and the past week that you are upset that people are unappreciative and you don't get those warm and fuzzy feelings just makes everyone on THIS team, the member team, feel like you don't get that people are still waiting for one of two things to come with the damage that's been done - either an acknowledgement that is sincere and a genuine "let's move forward," or a complete explanation.

I agree with this, I just feel like things could have been handled so much better and moving forward things don't have to continue this way if it isn't working.

__________________CATHOLIC, Open to life,Pro-life from moment of conception to natural death ,mom of many blessings who LOVES to sew when I can find the timePlease excuse any typos ,my laptop keyboard has a mind of it's own