We’re cooking, people! Let’s go!

January 18, 2008

You know what I like to do on a Friday night around nine p.m? I like to cook a three-course meal while watching a blonde version of the dummy from ‘Magic’ curse, slap his thigh and nervously shout “Come on, Chris!” every five seconds. It’s how I roll!

I’m usually a sucker for most things Ramsey on the TV but something about this show made me go out to the pub instead. After watching Jamie Oliver try to scare the shit out of people by showing what a fat man looks like when you freeze his corpse and saw him in half, i think the food/lifestyle shows have jumped the shark.

I hate Gordon Ramsey because of the use of ‘fuck’ as if it’s the ballsiest, coolest thing in the world. How did he start the show last night? “Blah, blah and no sign of that fucking chicken!” or something. Huge cheer from audience! What are they, ten years old?

In about 1999 he appeared in a show called Ramsay’s Boiling Point or something, he was going off on Celebrity and specifically Celebrity Chefs, how you would never see him in OK! magazine having his photo taken for a silly article.

I suppose ‘fuck’ is his catchphrase, it’s pretty boring alright! And the constant need to show him taking his top off as he changes to go into the kitchen. Good Grief, macho nonsense. I can’t help myself though on the Kitchen Nightmares show, I love the mad deluded Basil Fawlty types that run these dives.

I don’t know what this is, but I confess, Gordon Ramsay is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. Kitchen Nightmares (UK) at least. In that show, at least he was helping people out. It was a bit more interesting than Hell’s Kitchen in which all he does is push himself to get as angry as possible.

I find if it can be stuck in or up an ass he will threaten to stick whatever it is in there. E.G.: Rocket, fork, foot.
Plus, in the US on BBC America all the fucks are bleeped. Quite distracting and serves no purpose. “What the bleep is the bleeping salad all bleeped up for?! For bleep sake! You bleeps have bleeped it all up! Bleep! Bleeping hell! Bleep!