Your story sounded as if it was rushed and was a little obvious. The whole idea/theme was cute enough, but try taking it a little slower. Write as the idea comes to you, there's no need to post up a new story just to keep your viewers appeased. If anything, waiting for a thoughtfully-written makes the wait worth it.

Don't let me keep you from writing just because of my constructive crit. Then you would be giving up too easily.

I like this story.. one tiny part I don't like tho! That's that winry's first kiss isn't with ed.. and that's so.. aw.. *sighs* but well, second first kiss, I finally understood what it meant. ) anyway, you did a great job in making the story flow despite that you just wrote it as it came to you. Okies, that's all for now, do write more!