What happens when an atheist dates a theist? April 1, 2009

For most of my life I’ve dated non-religious women. The reason is that I’ve always been non-religious, and I tend to get along better with non-religious people. Further, I’ve tended, especially in the past few years, to date atheist women. Why? Well, there are a number of reasons, but mostly it has to do with the fact that atheist women tend to be more experienced sexually as they don’t usually have reasons to not be sexually open and free. But other factors, like atheist women don’t often think I’m going to hell and am a minion of Satan (although some may think some secular equivalent) come into play as well.

Now, I do know about those naughty Catholic school girls (although I tend to date them after they are done high school…), but the fact is that religions often tend to have a repressive role in sexuality. For many, guilt is a factor. Guilt at having certain urges, guilt at giving into them, guilt about having urges for people that they think god finds it sinful to have urges for…you get the point. Then there is the idea that sex is supposed to be reserved for marriage. Fucking ridiculous! I mean this truly in the sense of this being an idea worthy of merciless ridicule.

Sex is a beautiful and tremendously fun aspect of life. In fact, I’ll highly recommend this set of articles by Hambydammit on the subject of myth, sexuality and culture. In my opinion any religion of spiritual belief that associates sex with guilt, repression, or anything similar is highly problematic.

Now, I have never been particularly promiscuous, although to some people I would be considered a down-right slut. And for other sluts out there, I have a book to recommend. Most of my sexual experiences have actually come in the last several years. In fact, I graduated high school a virgin. Of course, I was embarrassed by this at the time, especially since, being insecure as I was, I told some people otherwise…but never mind that now! I waited until the time felt right, I suppose, and only in retrospect do I think that maybe some earlier opportunities should have been seized. And it was not until after college that I really became a sexual dynamo, having somewhat limited experience in college (although I did discover polyamory at that point).

So, I now realize I’ve digressed too much. So, what happens when an atheist slut, like myself, meets a nice Christian girl? Well, in most cases I would probably go the other way, fast. But what happens when I have already found that I like said girl even before knowing that she is a Christian? Well, now that’s more complicated. If I like her enough to look past the imaginary friend, then the question becomes what I do about it.

I must point out that someone believing in god is not an automatic turn-off. I have to judge a person by more than this one criterion. I am willing to look at the person’s personality as a whole and overlook a very obvious difference in worldview in order to see a person’s worth beyond this silly question about gods. And if, upon looking deeper, I find a person who is willing to challenge their beliefs, is interested in what others believe, and has other attributes worthy of attention (and no, I don’t just mean that they have to be hot…although that helps too…), then I let nature take its course. Of course, she’ll likely think it’s god’s course or something, but never mind that.

And then what happens when she learns that on top of me being an atheist I am polyamorous? Well now, that depends on how truly open-minded she is, right? And then I’m reminded that Jesus loves everyone, and this must be some kind of polyamory, right? I mean, he is married to thousands of nuns, right? Talk about a harem…. And then, on top of that, Jesus has millions of adoring fans, both male and female, who love him more than anything else and have these really close relationships. Well, Jesus might be alright with me, if he’s open enough to not only be bisexual but also polyamorous to such a degree. And no, this is not some April Fool’s Day attempt to act like I’ve accepted Jesus. I still am not convinced that the guy ever existed, and I’m still an atheist. It’s just that the idea has a kind of appeal, in some ways.

So, what of it then? What does happen when an atheist guy meets a Christian girl. Of course, this is a completely hypothetical situation (crap, I forgot the html code for sarcasm again…). I must say that so far, this purely hypothetical situation of mine is working out just fine.