This episode contained a ton of set up. This is one of those episodes that I have trouble judging how Watchlings would receive it. As I am watching I’m getting super excited about all that is about to happen which makes me wonder if all the Watchlings out there are bored or confused.

Jamie and Tyrion

We start out with Jamie and Tyrion arguing about Tyrion’s speech at the end of his trial. Jamie sees it as idiotic and Tyrion sees it as his only option to fight back. For all Jamie’s desire to have Tyrion shipped off to the Night’s Watch I wonder what his actions would have been in a similar situation. Tyrion makes very valid points to Jamie. Jamie was playing right into Tywin’s hands. He would have gotten rid of his embarrassment of son and gained his heir back to the place he wanted.

Tyrion’s pleas to get Jamie to fight for him are heartbreaking. Tyrion loves his brother and I do believe Jamie loves Tyrion, but Jamie also knows that he can’t beat the Mountain and I think Jamie feels powerless against his father and sister.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Jamie knows all to well about Tyrion falling in love with a whore. Tyrion married a girl when he was very young that he loved very much and said that she loved him. They lived together for a time and then Tywin told Tyrion that Jamie had hired the girl to have sex with Tyrion and then it had gotten out of control. Tywin took the girl and gave her to all his soldiers and then had Tyrion “service” her in front of everyone else. This has haunted Tyrion since that time and if the show follows the books Jamie is about to drop a revelation about this young girl very soon.

Cersei and The Mountain:

Cut to a huge guy disemboweling some people evidently for fun and Cersei watching. I’m not real sure where these people have come from. Do they keep people around just for him to slice up? That seems like a healthy past time. This scene mostly is just to set up that The Mountain is The Wu Tang Clan, Dr. Dre and Tupac all rolled into one huge scary person.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Are you aware that Cersei is a heartless conniving bitch? OK good. How about that The Mountain is a psychopath and has killed more people than I can count? OK good. So you got this.

The Hound and Arya:

Ahhh, my favorite homicidal travelers. Arya and The Hound have left quite a bit of death and destruction in their wake and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down anytime soon. The scene opens up with them riding up to a scene of mayhem and death. There is one person left, slowly dying from a wound to the stomach. The three of them talk about life, death and the everafter for a while. Then the conversation comes to an abrupt end when The Hound shoves a knife under the mans ribs into his heart. This was a mercy kill so the man didn’t have to slowly die a painful death there on the road. The Hound looks meaningfully at Arya and says “That’s where the heart is. That’s how you kill a man.” Then suddenly there is someone biting into The Hound’s neck and trying to kill him to which the Hound responds by quickly snapping the neck of his attacker. I would like to say that is also how you kill a man.

Since the one dude bit a chunk out of The Hound’s neck I’m assuming he’s Rorge’s counterpart Biter. Biter was supposed to be killed by Gendry, but I’ll take the change. It’s an acceptable alteration. Rorge likewise was killed in a different manner (Brienne killed him), but this was an awesome scene with Arya and stayed true to character. It does ask the question though, that if they are already dead now, will Brienne and Pod run into any action on the Kingsroad now?

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Arya did know who Rorge and Biter were. They joined the Bloody Mummers aka The Brave Companions with Jaqen H’ghar and helped Arya free the Northman that were captured at Harrenhall. Also they were scarier in the book then they are in the show. Also The Hound should have already been seriously injured so I’m wondering if this bite will turn into something serious since he wouldn’t let Arya cleanse it with fire. Oh we haven’t gotten to that part yet? OK sorry, continue.

Meanwhile on the Wall:

We see Janos Slynt singling out Jon Snow and trying to make him look like a coward, an idiot and a traitor. This break it mostly just to remind you that there is stuff going on at the Wall that will be important later. So yeah. Janos is a douche. Jon knows what he’s talking about. Let’s continue.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Winter is coming. Oh yeah, I think you’ve picked up on that.

Bronn and Tyrion:

Bronn very succinctly explains why he won’t be Tyrion’s champion. I think that this rejection hurts a lot worse then Jamie’s. It’s logical. Bronn was always for Bronn (the dwarves are for the dwarves!) and it wouldn’t fit if he suddenly changed. However, I do think that Bronn wished that he was a better man. A more loyal man. But at the end of the day he is just Bronn: The Sell Sword.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Nope. This was pretty much word for word from the books. And done amazingly well. Look that that last touch that Bronn throws in though. Yep, he really does care about Tyrion. The only other thing I’d add is that you may have forgotten that Lollys is knocked up with a baby from her gang rape that occurred when they sent Marcella off to Dorne. Bronn later names that baby Tyrion and I think he does that just to let Cersei know that she may have bought his cooperation, but not his loyalty (if he actually had much left).

Dany and Daario Naharis:

So Dany sends Daario to kill the Masters, but not before she exercised her right of first night with Daario. Hmmm or maybe she’s just been alone with guys for a really long time and liked the way Daario massages. . .his knives. Anyway, insert sex scene– wait scratch that– insert sex scene that isn’t shown.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Dany has been fantasizing about this for a while so she’s mostly just doing this for herself. It leads to some sticky situations later, but really as I’ve stated before Dany is just boring right now. Of course putting her in that dress makes her more interesting.

Melisandre and Selyse:

As if to make up for not showing the sex scene between Daario and Dany we see the Red Woman naked for an uncomfortably long time. Blah, blah, blah, they are both crazy and creepy. Oh and evidently the Red Woman wants Seylse’s daughter along just in case they need to sacrifice her to the Red God. Totally normal.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

You’ve probably gotten everything you need out of this. They are both really weird and really creepy. The Red Woman will become more and more important as time goes on.

Dany and Jorah:

Yeah I’m not even going to address this. We are reminded once again Dany is a strong female character. We got it.

The Hound and Arya

I mentioned before the whole fire/infection issue. I am curious as to where this is going to take us. I doubt that the sketchy water Arya washed it out with is going to fix it. The Hound is one of those characters (like Jamie Lannister) that I truly hated for so long, but then once I got to see his character develop I love him. I want to hug and protect him as no one ever did for him. Imagine having to live with someone that you were always afraid they might kill you for the fun of it. Yeah, just not cool.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

The Mountain is the head of the house because his father died under suspicious circumstances as did his sister and his two wives. The Mountain is also known for killing people on a whim. So yeah his baby brother might have a few issues he needs to work through. Evidently the Stark girls bring out all the good in him.

Brienne and Pod:

The adventure continues with our daring duo. Hot Pie offers some comedy relief and Brienne’s expressions are priceless. However Hot Pie does come through in the end and spills the beans on Arya. Good thing Brienne isn’t one of the bad guys.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

In the books something big is about to go down with these two. We’ll see if it happens in the show. My only spoiler/theory/thought that I’d like to add is to the readers out there. What if the one word Brienne says at a critical moment is Arya? We’ll see. (EDIT: My brother pointed out to me that GRRM has confirmed that they word she said was sword– so I was wrong). They are now on their way to the Erie which in and of itself is a bit different than the books so maybe we’ll all be surprised.

The Red Viper and Tyrion:

Out of all the people Tyrion didn’t expect to visit him Prince Oberyn was probably very high on that list. This whole conversation is mostly word for word out of the books. It was more heartbreaking to watch than to read. Cersei has hated Tyrion for so long. Because of his deformity, or the fact that their mother died during childbirth, or because he interrupted what she had with Jamie. Who knows? All I know is that it was painful to watch Oberyn tell Tyrion about his visit all those years ago.

And the emotion that Tyrion showed when Oberyn made his announcement was perfect. I know Tywin wasn’t expecting that in response. After all why would Oberyn help a Lannister?

Sansa and Littlefinger:

Back to the Erie and some creepiness. Sansa builds a snow Winterfell and Robyn (aka Robert) acts like a little sh#t and gets slapped for it. Fearing repercussions Sansa kinda panics to Littlefinger who gives her some speech about how he thinks of her like his daughter and then grabs her and kisses her. Yeah not weird at all. Lysa sees it all and of course that bodes well for Sansa right? Or maybe not. Lysa freaks out and threatens Sansa by pushing her towards the Moon Door. Littlefinger responded this way:

What the Watchlings don’t know:

In the books there was a musician hanging around that this murder was pinned on. I’m not sure how they are going to play this here. Needless to say Sansa has learned a lot about the kind of person Littlefinger is and I don’t think she’ll make the same mistakes Lysa or Catelyn made. Littlefinger becomes more creepy as does Robert Robyn.

So much awesome happens in this episode, but we start out seeing Stannis and Davos meeting with the Iron Bank asking for financial assistance to defeat the Targaryens. OK so even I found this whole exchange to be mostly boring and Stannis is an emotionless douche which doesn’t help at all. So. . .

What the Watchlings Don’t Know:

Cersei at this time, or very shortly after this time, has stopped making payments to the Iron Bank. Not paying the Iron Bank is like not paying Tony Soprano. It’s not done if you want to stay alive. So this scene sets up Stannis receiving backing from Braavos and why this would come about.

The other thing you possibly don’t know is that Davos is an honorable and loyal man. He sees Stannis as someone who not only saved him from death or a life on the wall, but also raised his family to a position of honor. Because of this he will stick by Stannis no matter how big of a douche he is.

Cut to Asha or whatever they call her on the show (Yara?) trying to save Theon. We have now exited the book world and have entered a world totally made up by the writers of the show. Luckily we have shots of gratuitous sex interspersed within this section to distract us from this. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but Iwan Rheon (Ramsey Snow) is a phenomenal actor. If you haven’t watched BBC’s Misfits you should just to see him in that as well.

What this show the Watchlings:

I really think this was just a set up to show how much damage has been done to Theon and how messed up The Bastard is. Well mission accomplished.

Now we have to have our moment with Dany. We see Drogon scaring a shepherd boy and burning and killing sheep which looks awesome. Drogon has grown and is super scary now. The Dragons are no longer cute little mascots. We also see her trying to rule and we see that it sucks to have to do all this. Now we understand why The Hand takes care of so much for the King in Westeros.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

A shepherd also comes to her claiming that Drogon killed his child and Dany is so horrified that this happened that she begins to take steps to cage her dragons. . .which goes as one would expect. The good news is that they are speeding up this story line a lot so maybe it won’t suck as much as it does in the books.

Ahhhh and now we are getting to the good stuff. We get a little taste of Oberyn’s sharp tongue and get to see how stupid Cersei is. (Seriously. “baby dragons”? Yeah things grow. . .sooo they are probably not going to always be baby dragons). Also I feel like Varys is pretty openly showing contempt for her (even though she doesn’t notice) and that Tywin also shows that he knows that his daughter is an idiot. I think I love Oberyn more in the show than I do in the books. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great in the books too, but Pedro Pascal really brings the character to life. I find it interesting that Varys seems to dislike Oberyn.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears saying again. Oberyn is known as a formidable knight. He’s in King’s Landing with the expressed interest of getting revenge for the murder of his sister and sister’s children. And when I say murder I mean that his sister’s infant son had his brains bashed in then she was raped by Gregor Clegane while he still had bits of her son’s brain on his hands. Then her and her daughter was just as brutally murdered as well. So he’s got an ax to grind and is biding his time.

Finally we see the trial begin. Jamie fetches Tyrion and is obviously upset that he is escorting his brother to this farce of a trial. Jamie has followed what is best for his family all his life, but now he can’t do that without hurting someone who not only is family too, but whom he loves just as fiercely. We watch Tommen adorably step down from the trial and then Tyrion becomes the smartass that we know he is. One by one people give witness to Tyrion’s motivation to kill Joffery and “proof” that Tyrion did it. Obviously we know that Tyrion didn’t do it (and so does Margaery and her face is great to watch as all this unfolds). Almost everything that is told is the truth, but with a ridiculous spin on it leaving out all the parts that make them look bad. The final nail in the coffin is Shea’s testimony where she states that she knows that Sansa and Tyrion plotted the death of Joffery because she heard them planning. She also makes it sound as if Tyrion took advantage of her and she wasn’t really just a whore.

Here’s where is gets really good. Jamie has tried to fix it up so that Tyrion will live no matter what and he tells Tyrion to hold his tongue and ask to be sent to the wall when he is declared guilty. So of course Tyrion responds to this with the most epic passion filled speech ever known. Shea has just ripped his heart out so he lets everyone have it. And it is glorious.

He ended this rousing speech by asking for a trial by combat instead of continuing with this joke. You can see Jamie wanting to throttle Tyrion for doing all this. All I can say is that Peter Dinklage made it happen. You can see the anger, the emotion, you want to cry for him, hug him, tell him that he is loved.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

You pretty much got it all here. Just know that in two weeks (maybe three) Tyrion will make it happen once more and people will be cheering all across the lands.

The previews for next week promise a lot of action and perhaps some Dany/Daario sex. Maybe we’ll get to see if Emilia Clarke really did declare that she would do no more nude scenes.

We got to see a good many things last night and many scenes that will change the way we think about characters from here on out. Below are mine and Cathy’s thoughts, suspicions and theories. Cathy’s words are in normal typeset and mine are in bold. Enjoy and as always there are spoilers galore (both from the show and from the books– I try to give extra warning for book spoilers).

This season is quickly shaping up to be a gigantic game of Clue. We know the weapon, poison. We know the where, the wedding reception. We don’t however know the who.

The Suspects:

Tyrion: Cersei had Tyrion arrested at the end of episode two. He handed Joffrey the cup of wine which is presumably where the poison was. Joffrey pointed to him while he was dying, but being one of the only people in Joffrey’s direct line of sight, that’s not unexpected. My favorite scene from last night’s episode was the scene between Podrick and Tyrion. We now know for sure Tyrion had nothing to do with Joffrey’s poisoning, he says so himself. I believe Tyrion is one of the few characters we can fully believe. Podrick fills Tyrion in on who has been appointed judges for his trial, and confesses that he’s been offered a knighthood if he’ll testify against Tyrion, but staying true to his Lord, Podrick refused. Fearful for what they’ll do to Podrick, Tyrion tells Pod to testify against him, that he doesn’t want Pod to potentially be killed for him.

Cersei has hated Tyrion since their mother died giving birth to him (or did she? As in perhaps Tyrion was the result of an affair and Tywin– this is a long shot, but I’m still throwing it out there). As both Cathy and Tyrion pointed out though if Tyrion was going to kill the King he would have done it in a way that didn’t implicate himself. Tyrion is smarter than that. Oh and I second the statement that the best part of the episode was the scene between Pod and Tyrion.

Olenna Tyrell: Grannie’s been maneuvering her house up through the ranks. Her house is considerably more important now that her granddaughter married the King, and she helped finance part of the war. Now that Joffrey’s dead, she’s protected her granddaughter from a hellish marriage. The only sticking point is Margaery’s status as Queen. The marriage wasn’t consummated yet, so is Margaery really queen? If Olenna was behind the murder, one would think she would have waited and poisoned Joffrey’s breakfast the next morning.

OK I’m going to disagree a little with Cathy here. This is who I think killed Joffery (if only there was an envelope full of cards I could check). She knew what Joffery was and his death BEFORE consummation leaves them in a strong position to negotiate a marriage between her and Tommen. Margaery was able to marry Joffery because her marriage with Renly wasn’t ever consummated and it would be even creepier than it already is for her to marry Tommen if she’s already had sex. Of course we haven’t found out exactly who did this in the books yet so it’s anyone’s guess.

Oberyn Martell: The Lannisters’ men killed his sister. He made it clear from episode one that he wants revenge for his sister’s death. We learned last night that he studied poisons at the Citadel. Did he use his knowledge to kill Joffrey and avenge his sister? He told Tywin he wouldn’t be that obvious, but Joffrey certainly would be a wonderful way to hit the Lannisters where it hurts. In a surprising turn of events, Tywin offers an alliance to Oberyn; however we never see them agree to it. Did Oberyn accept Tywin’s offer, we’ll have to wait to find out.

Oberyn has a serious ax to grind, but I also don’t believe that he would kill Joffery in this fashion. I see him more as someone who would derive more pleasure out of stabbing someone through the heart. Also they Martells hold Cersei’s daughter in Dorne so could inflict more pain that way.

OK I’m going to add some suspects that Cathy didn’t mention.

Mace Tyrell: In the books it is implied that the poison was contained in a hairnet that Sansa got from her fool and that the stone with the poison was removed during the wedding feast and slipped into Joffery’s drink. But what if the poison was in the cup all along, but was covered up by something that had to slowly dissolve? Mace gave him the cup (in the show– I don’t really remember this from the book, but I might have just forgotten this).

Margaery Tyrell: She also knew who Joffery really was and didn’t want to marry him. I feel like she was at least complicit in his murder even if she didn’t put the poison in the cup herself. Of course she came out smelling like a Rose no matter how you look at this.

Littlefinger: Varys once said “Littlefinger would burn the kingdom down if it meant he could sit on a throne of ashes.” Petyr wants power, and we know he’s not afraid to play both sides to get it. I’ve always believed he’s a character that should never be ignored. Even his absence in the story is important. He’s ALWAYS up to something. We learned last night he was behind Dontos sneaking Sansa out of the party. How did he know that something would happen at the party to allow for Sansa to escape? I don’t believe for one second he really cares about helping Sansa get to safety. He has a plan to use her in some scheme to help him get closer to the throne.

Littlefinger is someone that I really really dislike. Every now and then he does something awesome (cause in reality Sansa probably would have died if she had stayed in the capital and then later he will do something with a Moon Door that I also approve of). Mostly everything else that he does is super creepy or to further his own agenda. The show has touched on it, but he was super duper in love with Catelyn and is now trying to fulfill his fantasies through Sansa.

Sansa: Joffrey has terrorized her for years. Did she finally snap? No. She’s an idiot. I feel bad for her, but Sansa’s too stupid to have orchestrated the poisoning. If you’ve read the books, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The show makes her look halfway intelligent. The “real” Sansa is a spoiled moron. She’s definitely been used in the plot to kill Joffrey, she just doesn’t realize it.

Seriously she’s an idiot. I think the reason that watchlings don’t release how horrible she is is that it’s hard to convey that those tortured looks she has are because she’s feeling sorry for herself. Since Arya disappeared she’s spent maybe 30 minutes worried about her and hours and hours blaming her for things. She was sad about her Dad, Mom and brother, but not too bothered. She’s weak. She’s annoying and doesn’t seem like she’s ever going to die.

Is the killer one of these people, a combination of these people, or someone entirely different? One thing’s for sure, it wasn’t Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick.

There is more to the world than that’s going on in King’s Landing. We see Jon taking more of a leadership role at the wall; Arya’s brief feeling of camaraderie towards the Hound has gone; and Daenerys is off freeing slaves. On that note, let’s all give a slow clap to Daario for his sweet moves last night.

Yummmmmm. For those of you that don’t know Daario Naharis’s knives have naked women on the hilt and he likes to rub and kiss their breasts which Dany finds sexy. I can see why she’s attracted to him. Jorah now? Poor Jorah.

And the only only other thing I can say about Dany is enjoy the story line now because it’s about to get boring.

Also for all you non-readers out there:

Major Character Deaths: 0

Boob Count: 2 pairs (it seemed like more though didn’t it?)

EDIT!

WARNING– EXTRA SPOILERS

One last thing I forgot to mention. I was disappointed in the scene where Jamie rapes Cersei. In the books it does in fact happen much like that except it isconsensual. Jamie has changed a lot since he was captured and then released by the Starks. This scene with Cersei was kind of a goodbye to his love with her. Also in the books this happened right when he got back. Joffery died during his journey with Brienne so there hasn’t been all this tension between him and his family. That comes later. I just feel like the added rape seriously damages his character. True he’s already thrown a small boy off a tower, but this has jacked it up a notch. I actually felt sorry for Cersei and believe me no one should sympathize with Cersei right now.

Another week and another Game of Thrones wedding. Let’s just go ahead and say if you have not watched last night’s episode stop reading now! As always this post will be full to the brim of spoilers so you have been warned.

The Lovely Couple

Before we start with the wedding lovelies let’s talk about all the other random scenes that didn’t seem important now. Well at least to those who don’t know what’s coming. The episode started out with a hunt involving The Bastard Ramsey Snow, some chick named Miranda that I for the life of me can’t place who she is or where she’s come from, Reek– the artist formally known as Theon Greyjoy and their prey– a poor, short lived girl.

We got to see the girl get chased down, shot by Miranda and then get eaten to death by Ramsey’s dogs. The changes in Reek are very obvious in this episode. He’s timid, beaten, and too scared to fight back. As much as I hated Theon he never deserved all that The Bastard has done to him.

Stepping outside of the box though I just want to say the actor that plays The Bastard (Iwan Rheon) is one of my favorite actors. He was both parts creepy and heroic on Misfits and I’m both scared and excited to see him continue with this role. He will be one of the great villains this story needs.

Things you need to know about The Bastard: He’s scary (yeah I know you know that). Scary as in he scares Roose Bolton and if you can scare a man that would kill his King at a Wedding in exchange for Winterfell that’s saying something. Also there has been a ton of torture and nastiness that you haven’t gotten to see. He’s also about to have a wedding, at least if they stick to the books, however not as exciting a one as you’d hope.

We also got to see Bran this go round and feel his frustration. One thing they did show, but I don’t think explain well was what happened when Bran touched the Heart Tree. So:

What you need to know about Bran: when he is hooked up to the Weirwood he can see what any heart tree has seen, wherever, whenever. There’s a lot more to it then that, but that’s why he saw his dad and all those other images.

We also see some scenes with The Red Witch and Stannis. Stannis’ wife is gleefully watching her brother burn to death. Needless to say there are some issues there, but mostly we are just being reminded that they still exist and stuff is about to happen there.

Now let’s move on to the hard stuff. Cathy will join me for this part of the discussion.

I found this next set of images on Tumblr and I thought it showed more than I could explain:

This photo set speaks to a book theory that I’ll talk about at the end, but I thought it was fitting here.

I remember throwing the book across the room when I read the Red Wedding, and I refused to continue reading for a few days. In stark contrast, never in all of literature or film have I ever been happier when a character died than when Joffrey did.

I relished in the happiness until I realized that Tyrion was going to be blamed for his death. Oddly enough, Tryion’s journey after this moment is one of my favorite character subplots. I’m very excited to see how the show portrays his journey.

Joffrey dying is going to have the same effect as Ned dying. The storylines of the denizens of Westeros are going to be shaken up, people will be scattered across the realm, and much chaos will ensue. I for one cannot wait.

If you’ve read the books, you know who slipped Joffrey the poison. If not, I won’t spoil it. One detail I noticed was that after Joffrey cuts the pie with the sword, the camera focuses on some dead birds in the pie. I was wondering if that was a clue that the poison in the show’s version was in the pie, not the wine as it is in the book. I’m not a stickler for keeping everything the same between show and book, if it was in the pie, then that’s a fun little change for the show. We shall see.

OK me again. Joffery needed to die. So therefore I was worried that he therefore would live a long and happy life killing whores in his room with crossbows. Once again I’m going to issue a warning. If you are a watchling (aka someone who hasn’t read the books) I’d recommend you stop reading now as I’m going to throw out some theories that if you haven’t read through book 5 will ruin some things for you.

I’ll give you time to navigate away and just post this other awesome photo set:

So much emotion. Too bad in reality Sansa is still a clueless twat.

OK back to those theories and spoilers. We see Margaery’s grandmother go up and straighten Sansa’s necklace (which took place of the hairnet in the books) and what I didn’t notice last night, but expected was this:

We see a jewel missing from Sansa’s necklace. A jewel that is in fact the poison that kills Joffery. My assumption? The grandmother takes the jewel here, then passes it off to Margaery who slips it in Joff’s cup between his drink before cutting the pie and the drink he has after his first bite. After all Margaery is the one that takes the cup from Joff and sets it down on the table while the pie is being cut.

Ser Dontos runs off with Sansa setting her off on her next adventure. An adventure full of just as much excitement as before.

So about what I said about the Tyrion/Sansa photoset. It is stated in the books numerous times anytime someone is exceptionally gallant that they are like Rhaegar. Jamie and Cersei have little honor (Jamie much more than Cersei), Tywin has absolutely no honor either. So where does Tyrion’s honor and sense of morality come from?

In the books it’s stated that The Mad King was unduly interested in Tywin’s late wife and that Tywin resigned as Hand quickly and returned to Casterly Rock. My thoughts? Perhaps the Mad King raped or more likely had an affair with Tywin’s wife and Tyrion is the result of that. The holes in this theory are that I would think that Tywin would have killed Tyrion as an infant if that was the case, but also Tywin is in it for the long game so maybe Tyrion was meant to be kept as insurance against the Targaryens.

Tyrion does talk about his fascination with dragons a lot so perhaps one of Dany’s dragons will end up being his.

What are your thoughts on my theories? I have many many more– mostly involving Jon Snow– but we’ll get to those later.

Up next: Where is Dontos taking Sansa, what will happen to Tyrion, who else is going to die?

Finally! Game of Thrones has returned! This week I asked a friend of mine from college to help me with the review of the premier. Cathy does science-y stuff at Vanderbilt and is a huge ASoIaF fan and will be adding to my Game of Thrones reviews throughout the season.

My name’s Cathy and I’ve been into sci-fi for a long time, but I will admit, other than Lord of the Rings, I hadn’t read much in the fantasy genre until HBO released Game of Thrones. After seeing the first season, I devoured the books, and like most, am eagerly awaiting The Winds of Winter.

The night started out with me running in place, pointing at the TV, and squealing about Game of Thrones being back. Ok, not really, but I wanted to. Our long wait is finally over!

Season three left us in a state of mourning for the Stark family and their banner men. Arya was heartbreakingly close to being reunited with her family, until the Hound rescued her from being a victim of the Red Wedding along with her mother and brother. The war is seemingly over, Bolton has been named Warden of the North, while his bastard Ramsey has been busy cutting off pieces of Theon Greyjoy. After receiving “Theon Jr.” in the mail, his sister has gathered the Iron Born to stage a rescue attempt. Jon Snow made it back to Castle Black after being shot three times by a betrayed Ygritte, and we were left waiting an entire year to find out if he will survive his injuries. Stannis is moving his army north to help the Night’s Watch defend the wall, while somewhere in a row boat on the sea, Gendry is making his way back to King’s Landing. Speaking of King’s Landing, Jamie (sans right hand) and Brienne have made it back just in time for Joffrey and Margaery to get married.

Oh how the chess board has changed! Bring on Season 4!

I thought the opening of season 4 was the best so far. We are greeted with Twyin Lanister melting down Ice into two new swords; while he throws the wolf casing on the fire and watches it burn. Love. It. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no fan of the Lannister’s but that scene helped illustrate just how nefarious Tywin Lannister is. Hey, Arielle here, I just wanted to add that it seems like they were reinforcing how horrible Tywin is at every turn this episode. He belittles his favorite son, Tyrion has to try to live with a woman that Tywin arranged to have her family brutally murdered, Tyrion also has to deal with The Red Viper (Oberyn Martell) who wants revenge for Tywin’s actions from years previous and while Tyrion is cleaning up his messes Tywin still treats him with contempt. This is all topped off with the images of Ice being melted down. Ice which should have been returned to the Starks no matter what. Mormont got his family blade back after his son was banished, Ned took The Sword of the Morning’s sword back to his family after killing him during his “rescue” of Lyanna. It’s super shady that Tywin not only kept the sword but melted it down into something else.

While we’re on the subject of Tywin, I thought the scene between Tywin and Tyrion was brilliantly acted, and very foretelling. In a move that should win Tywin a “World’s Greatest Dad” goblet, Tywin tells his son that he wanted to drown him in the river after he was born, but because Tyrion carried the Lannister name, he didn’t do it. Wow. How much more abuse is Tyrion going to take? His role in saving King’s Landing during the Battle of the Blackwater was accredited to his coward brat nephew, whose brave contribution to the battle was to basically pee his pants and hide. He’s been verbally abused by his family his entire life, blamed for the death of his mother, forced to marry someone he didn’t want to, etc. Is the time coming when Tyrion shows his family just what he’s capable of? We shall see.

As far as his two siblings this episode; Jamie gets a new hand, Cersi gets drunk. There was an interesting exchange between Cersi and her Maester. She thanks him for the medicine he’s given her, and is very tight lipped when Jamie asks her about it. Hmmmm…Could this have something to do with her scheme to not marry Loras?

This episode introduces us to two new characters, Prince Oberyn Martell and his paramour Ellaria Sand. They have travelled to King’s Landing under the pretense of attending Joffery’s wedding, however we quickly learn that Oberyn houses a deep hatred for the Lannisters. He’s there to enact revenge for the death of his beloved sister Elia and her children at the hands of the Mountain and on the orders of Tywin Lannister. Something tells me that any ole Lannister isn’t going to do for Oberyn. He’s harbored his hatred for a very long time; he’s going to want to hit someone that’s going to hurt the Lannister’s deeply. Which Lion(s) he goes after will be exciting to see.

My new favorite team is the Hound and Arya. I feel like they need their own comic book. The two of them roaming the land, fighting crime, and just being awesome badasses. Who didn’t laugh last night when the Hound stabbed that guy in the balls? You know you’d read it. Seriously though, we’re starting to see Arya grow into the person she’s going to become. She hardened by the tragedies she’s experienced, she’s wiser, and she’s seeking revenge towards the people who have hurt her family and friends. We see her regain Needle from Polliver, stare him down, and very calmly repeat his own words back to him before she stabs him in the throat. She has one name crossed off her prayer list. Who will be next? OK here I am again– I just want to add that just as I am disturbed when Joffery kills for fun I was somewhat put off by the glee with which Arya killed. That little smile on her face was disturbing, but I also found myself cheering her on for being able to defend herself and help The Hound kill people that obviously needed killing. I wonder how I will feel about seeing (as opposed to reading about) her journey to come.

Lastly, I want to address a small moment that I think will have a bigger impact down the line. Dontos giving Sansa the necklace. The only other time we’ve met Dontos was in the second season when he showed up drunk to a duel, sentenced to death by Joffery only to be saved by Sansa. He’s stripped of his knighthood and made a court fool. Why bring back a character that we’ve forgotten about? Why make a big deal of him giving Sansa his mother’s necklace? We’re going to see more of him, he’s going to be important. I’m assuming the necklace is replacing the silver jeweled hairnet that she received from him in the books.- A

The last thing I (Arielle) will add to this discussion is that it was interesting to see Jon Snow start to take charge of The Wall and see Maester Aemon listen to him. Which of course one Targaryen would listen to another–amirite?! 🙂

I have since expanded that theory to say that Jon Snow not only was calling out to Ghost, Wun Wun, the boar, but also to his dragon. Because Viserion is totally his dragon. And I’m really serious about the kitten thing. Princess Rhaenys has to be super crazy by now, but how awesome would it be if she figured out how to warg back into a human? If only she had warged into Cercei before her fall. Then a Targaryen would have been pretty much ruling Westeros again and that would have been awesome.

My oldest brother finished the 5th book yesterday (he was late to the game, but he’s all important doing smart stuff so I guess I’ll let it slide) and he posted this today which led to the best thread ever.

OK it starts out pretty tame– I think everyone agrees that he’s Lyann’s and Rhaegar’s son (if you don’t please post who you think is and why. I would seriously love to know). Let’s continue:

I pretty much agree with everything Patrick is saying here except for the Bran riding a dragon part. I see him living out his life growing into a tree watching through the eyes of crows and weirwoods. I’m also going to be seriously disappointed if Jon Snow ends up being someone totally normal. And then there is “There must always be a Stork at Waterfall.” Yes.

If Rickon shows back up in the fashion that Daniel suggests that would just be. . .amazingly wonderful.

Patrick hits some good points again although I think Tyrion has a better likelihood of being a Targaryen then Jamie and Cercei. One think I hadn’t thought about was what if Arya gets one of the dragons? She’s definitely a strong person and is learning all kinds of magic-y stuff.

Soooo many subplots going on– I need to reread once again to remember them all and perhaps imagine even more theories. I do love this thought of if you could pick a castle/area which one would it be (don’t worry I’m sure Buzzfeed is creating a quiz as we speak. There already is one if you count this one)

Seriously Patrick– we have never met, but agree on so much. Robert so should have been shoved out the moon door with his crazy mother.

Don’t worry, there are even more puns to come.

Yes, yes I would take Sunspear.

I told you the puns just kept coming. My brothers have a very sharp wit. Also I should explain: watchlings = people who only watch the series and haven’t read the books.

Who do you think Coldhands is? As soon as I make up my mind something comes along to change it again. Follow up: Do you think Benjen is dead?

Any conspiracy theories about the obsidian?

There was even more to this thread, but I’m going to stop here. Do you think Eddard was/could have been a warg too? Or was this just something the kids had? I think he probably just didn’t know he could, because not only do all of Ned’s children have this ability, but so does Jon Snow. If I’m right about Lyanna and Rhaegar and also right about how dragon’s are controlled then that would explain how powerful a warg Jon Snow is. Jonathan pointed out the obvious hole in my theory: the dragon horn. If dragons are controlled by wargs then why is there a dragon horn.

My answer?

Option 1. The horn is just a magical device used for someone who doesn’t have the warging ability, but needs to control a dragon (like dragonfyre when you don’t have a dragon). This method really sucks for whoever they make blow the horn though.

Option 2. It doesn’t really work. It’s a cursed object that people want to possess and ends up killing them.

I lean towards option 1.

Also there’s always this explanation:

Weigh in if you have a theory you want to share or if you disagree with something that we’ve thrown out.

Last week’s episode “The Rains of Castamere” was amazing. You know when you read a book and then watch the movie and are so disappointed in the results? Yeah this was the opposite. HBO did an amazing job bringing the Red Wedding to life. Don’t get me wrong even though I knew what was coming it was still painful to watch, but painful in that, “holy crap I can’t believe this is harder to watch than it was to read” kind of way. I really felt for everyone that was surprised by the wedding results, but I also was glad they were finally filling the deep sadness I had felt when I had initially read that scene.

Jump to this week and the season finale. (Some spoilers from this point on if you haven’t watched yet). Continue reading →