You’re selling the idea that you care about “honey,” that you care about honey’s day, and that he/she still accepts the title of being called your honey. The expression had three sales in one “harmless” phrase.

So, just accept that everything is sales. Sales is just another word for communication. You’re in the communication business, and as a lawyer, you’re an expert. So, you’re already an expert in sales. You simply need to hone those sales / communication skills to maximize cash return.

In fact, you’re not interested in “sales” per se, if the word “sales” is an abstraction to you. You’re interested in communication that retains revenue-generating relationships and creates new revenue generating relationships. So, it’s simply customized communication that creates revenue, or new cash. A “sale” occurs when someone moves cash from their account to your account, or enters into an agreement to do so.

At any given moment we are operating from the “higher functioning” prefrontal cortex portion of the brain or the lower primate base section of the brain. Some say we are either expressing love (prefrontal cortex) or fear (fight or flight section of the primate brain). Both help the Rainmaker. The good ones learn how to appeal to both directive portions of another’s brain. Again, some may do this unconsciously. The task here is to make it conscious for you at first, then, as it becomes a habit, it will slip into competent unconscious behavior.

When you think of selling, think about breathing, seeing and hearing, all things that come easily and naturally to you. Selling is a very normal, natural and essential aspect of being human.

Get over the word, selling. You are already a consummate salesperson. You sold yourself on your law school application. You sold yourself to a law firm. Over the course of your life, you have sold any number of people on the idea that you are likable, even lovable.

Neuroscience enlightens us here. Selling is a neutral word. It only has the meaning we give it, called its complex equivalence. Remember that when addressing a jury, a judge, or the other side of a negotiation, everyone brings their own “definitions” to the table, the sights, sounds, feelings, even smells and tastes. Like a fingerprint, everyone has a unique “complex equivalence” for the words and phrases you are presenting to them. As do you. By knowing this, you can make it work for you.

Let’s take a moment to improve your complex equivalence of the word, “selling”. Imagine your favorite activity. I know you have many to select from. Pick one that’s forming in your mind now. Right, that activity. Go with that one. See it now in all 3 dimensions. Now, as you see it, breathe into it. Notice your favorite activity and how you feel while being fully associated with it. Don’t watch it like a movie. Step into it as a lead character. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? Any smells or tastes? Put them all there. Be in that pleasant space now. As you are living this delightful experience, place the word “selling” on top of it, or as very large see- through letters suspended in air going from the left edge of what you see to the right edge. Stay in this favorite activity for a while with the word “selling” layered on top of it or fully within it, and hear the word selling as you continue to enjoy your favorite activity. Stay with this experience for a short while.

Now think of your favorite food. I know you have many to select from. Pick one that’s forming in your mind now. Right, that favorite food. Go with that one. Smell it. Taste it. Mmmmm….. yummmmm. Be in that space with your favorite food. Now. Smell it. Taste it. See what you see. Hear what you hear. Feel what you feel. Breathe in the experience fully. As you are fully enjoying your favorite food, place the word “selling” over the whole experience as you enjoy your favorite food. See the word, “selling”, possibly as translucent letters from one edge of the scene to the other, and hear the word, “selling”, as you continue to enjoy your favorite food. Stay with this experience for a few more moments.

Now think of one of your proudest moments: being complimented, praised, receiving a certificate or award, a raise, a good grade, an applause, a smile, a hug or a kiss. I know you have many to select from. Pick one that’s forming in your mind now. Right, that one. Go with that one. See now what you saw then. Hear now what you heard then. Feel now what you felt then. Smell or taste now any smell or taste you had then. Be fully present with the experience. Make it a full body experience. Breathe in to that experience now. And as you fully experience that proud moment, place the word “selling” over the whole experience as you re-live that proud moment. See the word, “selling”, possibly as translucent letters from one edge of the scene to the other, and hear the word, “selling” as you continue to enjoy and fully experience that proud moment. Stay in this pleasant experience for a few more moments. Now think of the word “selling” and flash back to the favorite activity, favorite food, and proud moment you’ve just been experiencing. Enjoy those thoughts and feelings for a few moments. Possibly a slight smile and positive feeling is being experienced. Good. Excellent.

If you’re like many others, just going through the above process will give you a pleasant change in the bodily experience of the word “selling”. If you are not like other people, then you have already worked out a unique solution to have a better relationship with something you’ve doing your entire life, selling.

David King Keller is author of the award winning book, 100 Ways To Grow A Thriving Law Practice. His latest book, The Associate As Rainmaker, Building Your Business Brain, is on the American Bar Association’s best seller list. David is an attorney rainmaker coach, MCLE instructor and business development trainer. He has lectured at UC Hastings College of The Law and The San Francisco Bar. He is a member of ABA, BASF, AAJ and LMA. His company website, www.KBDAG.com, lists numerous client testimonials and provides many free articles, including “Social Media For Lawyers.”

About the Author: David King Keller is author of the award winning book, 100 Ways To Grow A Thriving Law Practice. His latest book, The Associate As Rainmaker, Building Your Business Brain, is on the American Bar Association’s best seller list. David is an attorney rainmaker coach, MCLE instructor and business development trainer. He has lectured at UC Hastings College of The Law and The San Francisco Bar. He is a member of ABA, BASF, AAJ and LMA. His company website, www.KBDAG.com, lists numerous client testimonials and provides many free articles, including “Social Media For Lawyers.”