Pophorror.com’s review of Tremors

[Originally written April 23, 2016 before I was a writer for Pophorror.com]

Curt Oglesbee really likes the 1990 movie “Tremors,” to the extent that I would hate to say anything even remotely bad about it.

Why would I want to do that anyway? There is generally nothing wrong with sitting back and soaking in someone’s written praise for a movie. Honestly, this review makes me wish that I had either written, directed or starred in “Tremors,” so I could boost my self esteem by receiving a positive review such as Oglebee’s. Unfortunately I cannot do that unless I attain the ability to leap into bodies and minds of people from the past, Quantum Leap style. In this case I would have the added bonus of being in the movie “Tremors,” though I’m not sure which role I would quantum leap into.

Once I’m getting zany here, I can now imagine Quantum Leaping not into one of the actors, writers, producers or effects people, but into an actual, living breathing “Graboid” (as the monsters are called throughout the movie). It would no doubt be an interesting twist, as it would mean the movie was actually real, only packaged as a Hollywood blockbuster starring Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire and the rest.

I can scarcely imagine being one of those creatures zooming underground through all that dirt and dust, avoiding hard rocks, then coming up for the kill and having those weird snake-like things come out of my mouth to feel around for my prey. Then, at some point, maybe I would be shot to death, killed by explosion or tricked into careening to my death from the side of a cliff as people watch my guts spill out on the rocks below. Interestingly, I always thought those guts looked like Chef Boyardi ravioli. And now I want some ravioli or spaghetti.