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First, Colleen has gone on record saying she wants me to stop talking about people wetting themselves. Between the penis thing and the-stuff-that-comes-out-the-penis thing, she’s over it. Admittedly, it’s all enormously juvenile. But, come on, boys are juvenile by definition. So I’m kinda on the fence on this one. (Which is painful.)

Second, news flash: I chose my winner(s). And because, quite honestly, the tips were so Wet-Ur-Self great, I had to come up with a criteria. What tip(s) surprised me? Not was it/they any good, not was/were it/them 100% accurate, but which one(s) did I not know?

Which brought me to 3 — I know, I said only one, but screw off, 3 — by which I mean, 5 winnners:

Megalos, that thing about holding Ctrl/Cmd to override the auto-snap. I knew that, I think, once upon a time, but had forgotten, I think. Plus, you expressed it so well and succinctly. Only problem (and someone correct me if I’m wrong), that seems to be a Control-drag on both platforms. Mac too. Weird. But still, if there was just one winner, it would be you.

flyboy, your thing about the fast zooming. I don’t even want to do that — I wish the zooming was slower — but I can’t believe I hadn’t ever run across it before. I geeked out for a full 25 seconds. I don’t like to geek out — I’d rather do something more productive with my time — and yet you still win. (You want a signed copy? I’m going to sign it, “Stop making me geek out, you son of a birch!” Honestly.)

Gfx-Dzine violated the rules by making a 2nd post. But the moment I tried that 2nd trick out myself, victory was secured. It’s so twisted, so you’ll-never-use-this-in-a-million-years-but-by-God-it-works that, once again, I geeked out. (Also, it doesn’t quite work across platforms, which is splendid!) So here’s the trick (read it all before doing, because it’s learning-impaired):

First, make sure the Bridge is not running. If it is, quit the damn thing.

Then go to Photoshop and press Ctrl+Alt+O (Mac: Cmd-Opt-O).

That sends the Bridge launching.

On the Mac, immediately release O and keep the other keys down.

On the PC, release everything and quickly repress Ctrl and Alt.

The Bridge asks you if you’d like to reset some shit.

Hit yourself on the head and go, “Why the hell would I want to do that?’ Amswer: Cuz you can.

I know! How often do you need to do such a thing? Why trash your few remaing synapses with such obscure information? But! It’s! Stupid! And! It! Works!

Plus, a 4th person, Bill Guy, wins cuz he threw in some left-handed techniques. Yes, that’s right, just cuz he’s a minority. But you know what? He’s my minority. (Imagine me doing that Black Power thing, but with my left hand. Nice!) Bill Guy also wins bonus points (which are valueless) for violating the rules and submitting three tips. Remember that: Rules are stupid.

And finally, a 5th person, owen-b, wins cuz his spacial-memory tip was excellent. It doesn’t work under Windows (where it’s precisely the opposite) but I like that he’s trying to ascribe space and context to memory. From my perspective (see, again, Spacial), that’s the only way it works.

Comments

Woohoo!

Congrats to the winners! Even the left handed ones who are obviously of the devil! (- or so I heard). :D

That was a fun exercise. Do it again! Do it again! (Heh, when it comes to juvenile, you ain’t got nothing on me - even if I don’t have a little boys thing to help me sit comfortably (or not) on fences and make crude jokes about venae dorsales profunda and the male brain.

I believe Stuart79

—who to my knowledge is actually the 1st Stuart on the site (come on, other 78 potential Stuarts, what the hell?)—won the previous contest. We are admittedly slow on our contest fulfillment.

The hang-up is the videos. Fear not, we’ll get it resolved. It’s just that this particular item is on my to-do list (Colleen does the books), and if you know anything about my to-do list . . . well, suffice it to say, I’ll try to offload it to someone else’s to-do list on Monday so it actually happens.

My bad. And please, don’t apologize for nudging me on fulfilling a promise. More often than not, a reminder is welcome.

- - - - - - -

Unrelated question, Flyboy: Can you really fly? I mean, not with a device, with just your arms. Cuz if so, can you teach us? Other sites, they’d be like, no, don’t teach us to fly here, we’re all about graphics and design. But dekeOnline, this is like totally the place where folks should be learning how to fly with just their arms. Gee whiz, that’d be a better tutorial than any of the crap I’m posting.

:-D

(By which I mean, seriously, please explain how you fly with just your arms. And don’t pretend you don’t know. Cat’s out of the bag now.)

Your swag will definitely arrive by Xmas, or whatever holiday it is you top-secret society of flying people celebrate.

As a matter of fact I can

—and yes - I can teach you. And I’m not using a machine either. OK, you’re confused. No joke, read on.

Well, let’s see. Just short of 100 years ago some smart people with top hats and curly moustache decided the definition of flying would qualify only the heavier-than-air objects (me). That excluded hot-air ballooning, and turned it into, well… buoyancing. See, I can make up words too. They also said that skimming the ground or water produces something called “ground effect”, which in term reduces drag significantly, so to truly fly one must achieve altitude above the ground effect (also me). And finally, one must sustain that altitude for a period exceeding the Wright brothers’ first flight (side note: Orville never had a pilot’s license). That takes out skydiving out of the equation.

It’s clear that to “fly” one must derive lift or produce thrust to overcome gravity just enough to qualify (again - me). Most people achieve this using flying machines we in the business call “airplanes” (most definitely not me). I prefer to hurl my machine-free-self at the Earth in the hopes I’ll miss, which I always do. Yes, I also carry a parachute, but I’m yet to use it.

Do you need a machine? Nope. Just wings. Enter the golden age of hang gliding*, and if you’re ever up in Vancouver, BC, swing by my place and we’ll go for a flight (my instructor’s rating has expired, but for you I just might renew it).

Aaah, you thunk I really was using only my hands, right? Call me a cheat, but to qualify the above I’d have to flap to produce thrust strong enough to pry me off my Wacom tablet. That’s just crazy, man. Craaaazy! Let’s get real here: if sitting in an airplane is flying, that sitting in a boat is swimming. I needed wings (so shoot me!), but that’s ALL I use. I swear. And I can quit any time! I can! But I don’t want to (hey, I haven’t had this much fun since I glued a cat to my grandma’s dentures).

Thanks for the prompt reply. No rush on the swag, I know you got a nutty schedule.

-Flyboy (iVan)

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*For the unaware, modern hang gliders can achieve altitudes of over 15,000ft and cross distances of over 400 miles.

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Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

Best comment yet!

Flyboy, you did it. Not only did you provide an airplane-free flying tutorial, you added an image to a comment post, which I didn’t know was possible. (Look at that, you’re sourcing to an external server. Garsh, we got some open commenting options. Intriguing.)

Awesome! Seriously, you have innovated the dekeOnline comment space.

I sit on my ass at 3:30am in awe. Nice.

Holy shift!

thanks for the praise, but actually it was you who gave me the idea. It says so, right below the post window, that certain html tags are allowed, so I tried this one and it worked. All I then had to do is chop a Google-found image and post it.

I really shouldn’t be taking any credit for the contest win either. Again - you. You have hinted in one of your tutorial vids, way back when, that Shift is an increasing modifier key in Photoshop. So I started using Shift whenever I needed steroids to do the job. Turns out it’s just about the most useful key in the program (BTW, fast zoom comes in handy when you’re checking your layout for cropping and need maximum precision. Web graphics for example, especially the zoom out).

Since the contest is over, I’m not jeopardizing anything by adding a few more tips that are bound to surprise. Ready? Smart objects DO have a perspective transform!!! It’s just not apparent as it’s dimmed in the menu, but it works like a charm: Ctrl+T (Cmd+T on Mac) to enter free transform, then choose Warp mode. Pick any of the warp modes and set the first value to zero. Then use the H and the V values to do your perspective transform. Ha, who knew!?

If you prefer to see the transform happen on the fly (like you would if you were to do it by dragging the corner handles) highlight the H or the V value and use mouse wheel. If that’s too slow, use my favourite key modifier - Shift, and pop a wheelie.

You may toggle back and forth between the free transform and the warp modes to further skew your object and get it to the right position (Shift it to restrict your movement to horizontal and vertical axis of evil. Shift - I love you).

Also, a little known fact: Photoshop can import animated gif frames as layers. That option is not apparent since File/Import/Video Frames to Layers command won’t show gif files. Fear not, navigate anyway to your folder where the file resides, in the filename box type in the full file name - extension and all, and watch in awe. You may use the animated gif below as a test subject.

I also have a way to link the mask to a smart object so they move in sync, but you’d have to join the top-secret society of flying people to hear that one.

OK, I’m monopolizing your blog. I’ll be quiet now.

-Flyboy (iVan)

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Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

I’m not that Lucky

Hey, wait a minute… I didn’t win any contests, I bought the books with my hard-earned money (although it has to be said that the pound is quite strong so I didn’t exactly pay the RRP on them)! I bought the InDesign book and liked it so much that I ordered the Photoshop one not long after, and was so filled with gratitude that Deke went through all the hard work to produce them that I had to thank him, even if it was in the completely wrong place (hertz post).

I mean c’mon, the book was actually made using InDesign, and the book is ABOUT InDesign, what kind of brain-melter is that?!?

But if I did happen to win some contest that I don’t know about, like the best-ever-saying-thank-you-for-the-one-on-one-books-prize, then thank you very much. Just don’t send me the books as a prize, how about your newest Lynda.com vid Or maybe a prototype Illustrator CS3 one-on-one book (you are making one, right?).

Word of the day

Just got my first one of the won books; and all I got to say is skookum (yup, you might have to Wikipedia that word). Thanks dude!

As for the other book and the videos still pending, I wasn’t joking when I first asked you - could you pleeeeez sign ‘em? If it’s not too much trouble, of course - if someone else handles them, no worries.

Hey, if they feel lonely and sad ‘cause you haven’t been giving them the love ‘n’ attention they deserve, even though they work so hard - let them sign it and make them feel oh so special. Nope, I’m not Colleen disguised as an arm-flapping person. It’s 100% genuine Flyboy.

Cheers!

-iVan

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Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

Unbamaveliveable Dscovery

My Bridge started crashing every time I launch it. So I looked up yours and Gfx-Dzine’s post to remind myself as to how this was done, and WHAM - I discovered sumpt’n new. In ‘shop, press and hold Ctrl+Alt+O. Yup, just hold them. No releasing and re-pressing, just good ol’ hold. It’s a lenghty hold, but still only a hold. This, I can remember. Could anyone confirm this on a Mac?

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Deke McClelland

Self-appointed expert on all things graphics and imaging, here to answer your questions and serve your needs. More dekeBio here.