We were in our Passat near Al Baya'a when I said: "I hate him!". My father answered: "Do not hate Sami, don't use this word, use another". I was in my primary school and I cannot remember exactly how the discussion went. "Do not hate" was not that clear to me, "how can I control my emotions?" I must have asked. But the answer came with years passing by, and love prevailing.

The 90s were tough years. Poverty struck Iraqis and hunger was usual. In most homes, there was one main meal, a lunch, but the breakfast and dinner was not always there. While the family eats together, a member would give from his dish a present to the one s/he loves. My parents must have felt that we are not getting enough food. We, the children, were eating so fast, finishing before parents who find themselves giving us a present from their dish. When they sometimes don't do that I can still remember how angry I used to feel. On the other hand my parents wanted me to continue the piano lessons but it was not for free and I lost some of my interest. I started to love hard rock and guitars. Father took me to Al Nithal street to buy me a guitar. After few days I played my first piece, a Fairoz song, surrounded by my family's applauding. Those years will not be forgotten, the years when we were united by hunger and love.

In my teenage years I've been too rough on my parents. Now that I remember those days I feel so impressed by their patience and calm. In my 20s I started to criticize their upbringing by comparing that to psychological theories of the right upbringing. I told them some of my thoughts in bursts of anger. Yet, they kept being calm. Father used to bring me coffee to my room when I study, my Mom made me orange juice. Now that I've not seen them for the last few years I miss them so much. And I hope they know that I got the lesson of love they gave me.

10 comments:

You must have been born to such adverse poverty like me.Were you aware of it?Did you get teased by some kids because of it?Those were the good old days though,weren't they? Because you know what,nobody used us for our money, prestige and position in society.We were not targeted by predators and dangerous stalkers never leaving us alone,even for years following us wherever we go.Yes indeed we were a blessed bunch,your family and mine.

I am sure they know, Sami. Very sure indeed. One of the most startling things I learned when my daughter was born is how passionately parents love their children. Love them beyond measure, beyond time and space, past any petty hurts. I'm thinking your parents are probably very proud of the man you've become.

Another lovely and touching post. i just returned from visiting my parents and a few times acted like a teenager when they would express their biased views, with a teenage-like out burst. Then i would feel so bad and tell them how sorry i am. Will i ever grow up? Sami, as another person wrote, i know your parents can feel your love for them. Having a son i love dearly, i know what a parent's love for a child is like. Thank you for telling us about your growing up years. Your sadeeka, tracy