Papa's Got a Brand New Bag

If you are a parent of younger children, you know the look of dread on the faces of restaurant patrons as you march the children to their seats for a family dining experience.

Remember that time before kids when you went out to eat and had to put up with the outrageous behavior of someone else's kids? They can be loud, obnoxious little critters that don't stay in their seats, throw food, and can generally turn a meal into a nightmare.

It doesn't have to be that way for either parents or patrons. Let me tell you the secret that has led many a person seated near my wife and I at restaurants to comment, "Your children are so well behaved."

I usually nod and thank them, but I really am tempted to say, "It's the restaurant bag."
Yes, the secret to dining-out sanity is literally that bag of tricks my wife Lori came up with eight years ago when Max and Carly were enjoying breakfast perched in a booth in their car seats at our favorite breakfast place.

It actually started off as a diaper bag filled with diapers, wipes (face and butt) and Cheerios. With an extra Nook plug and maybe a few toys like harmless soft squeeze things. Better snacks (fruit cups, applesauce) came along later, especially when we knew the restaurant was a bit slow in serving the food. We then migrated to pull-ups and better toys like Matchbox cars and pads of paper with crayons. Eventually more toys, activity books with puzzles, and word searches were added. Matchbox cars remained a mainstay of the bag's contents -- otherwise the kids would play with the jelly or sugar packets on the table.

Sometimes other parents dining out would look longingly at how well-behaved our kids were versus their kids, so we would lend them a toy or two just to keep the peace. Yes, the secret is to give the kids something to do at the table. Guess what? Restaurants can be very boring places for little ones.

The bag and its contents have been as light as three pounds and as heavy as 12 pounds, based on the number of books, crayons, and pens. You can use any kind of washable bag -- after all, you're dealing with food and kids. To date, we've lost only one bag, at Legal Seafood in Framingham. Somebody got a great gift for their child.
If, for whatever reason, we forgot to bring a bag, or left it in our other car, kid-friendly restaurants are a Godsend and some of the staff can have great ideas. The Fairway Restaurant in Eastham lets kids write on the tablecloth, which is made of brown paper. In North Hero, Vermont, we found a place that hands out an Etch-a-Sketch to every child.

Uno's, Olive Garden, Friendly's, and many others supply crayons and activity booklets. Our kids love The Lobster Pot in Provincetown, where they treat kids like royalty and provide these waxy little sticks that they can make things out of.

But no matter where we go, the restaurant bag is with us, just in case an establishment isn't up to snuff in fighting boredom.

Max, in an interview for this column, told me he liked the word search activity book best, while Carly first said she liked the stain remover, (what's it like to be 8 going on 15?) but later admitted it was the pad of blank paper to draw on.

Remember, next time you bring the kids to a restaurant, don't rap 'em, bag 'em! .

Wayne E. Phaneuf is executive editor of The Republican, and is trying to cope
with life way after 50 and young twins. He can be reached at wphaneuf@repub.com.