The Voice blind auditions part 4, Smash episode 3

Hello again! Let’s skip the intro and dive right into the good stuff, shall we?

The Voice

Well, the teams are filling up, and as much as I’ve enjoyed these blind auditions (AND I HAVE), I’m ready to move on to the Battle Rounds. You know, just for a change of pace. Also, I’m beginning to forget who these people are. But we do have one more blind audition round to contend with, so less complaining, more blogging! Tally ho!

Tonight was the night of the sultry, unique, alto ladies, and I was IN. TO. IT. From Naia Kete the street performer to Charlotte Sometimes (heh her last name’s funny) with the disintegrating jaw (um, ew.) to Mathai the ex-nurse-to-be breaking Mama and Daddy’s heart by pursuing her love of music, the low-voiced songstresses ruled. And Blake tends to be their top pick, which I fully endorse. Based on the successes his interestingly-voiced females have had since last season (Dia Frampton and Xenia, both of whom have record deals), he seems to know his way around a woman’s low register (SEXUAL INNUENDO!). But in all seriousness, I think out of all the coaches, Blake invests the most in his artists and commits fully to their growth and success as musicians. He just knows a winning sound when he hears it. The only one of the previously mentioned ladies who did not pick Blake as her coach was Mathai, and I honestly don’t blame her—Adam Levine laid on the charm REAL thick. I mean, come on. If that man stood up and confessed his love for me on national television (or in a park, on a train, on the moon…), it would take an army of Navy Seals to pry me off of his face. Ahem. Anyways. Based on the intensity with which he went after her, I think Adam is inspired by Mathai and could make her into something huge, a la last season’s winner, Javier Colon.

This past episode was also a night for PHENOMENAL song choices. First, I loved David Gray’s “Babylon,” performed by Justin Hopkins. But then I REALLY loved Johnny Cash’s “Fulsom Prison Blues” performed by Jamie Lono (whom I will return to later. Because I love him. Deeply.), I felt there was a lot of artistry happ’nin on that stage. And just as Blake Shelton seems to be the guru for all the weird/cool sounding women, Cee-Lo is the go-to coach for the innovative male artists looking for creativity and funk. But let’s return to Jamie Lono for just a moment. His rendition of “Fulsom Prison Blues” is perhaps my favorite audition of this entire cycle. He has great energy while still keeping it cool. His sound is jam-bandy without being stereotypical, and raw and raspy without going out of tune. He’s confident without being arrogant, and he’s adorable without being cutesy. In case I haven’t made myself clear, I am firmly entrenched in Camp Jamie. Do yourself a favor and check him out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEUOabzp2Ns.

A few other notes. I know the celebs think it’s cute when they coach each other as to who to pick for their teams, but I find it incredibly annoying. Either push your button or don’t. But if I were Blake Shelton and Xtina kept trying to tell me who to pick for my team, it would take an immense amount of will power to keep me from making some very colorful remarks on national television about the overexposure of her cleavage. Juss’ sayin.

And I’m curious: for those of you out there attracted to members of the male species, who is sexier, Adam Levine or Blake Shelton? I am absolutely torn.

Discuss amongst yourselves and report back.

Smash

Oh, Smash. You held such promise in the beginning. And I’m not giving up hope—far from it. I am as devoted as I was at the start, if not more so now that I am catching the whiff of a slump this early on in the series—it miiiiight be time to pick up the pace just a skotch. Sequins, red lipstick and belting alone cannot a successful primetime series make. What I did appreciate, however, was the insight into how this show is going to make it as a series, also known as how Karen Cartwright will ultimately become Marilyn: from conception to production, this bad boy (aka Marilyn the Musical) could take up to 5 years. 5 YEARS?! GOOD GOD, MAN.

But let’s get to the recap. Not a whole lot happens in this episode, to be honest. Karen is still not Marilyn. Ivy is still sleeping with Derek. Eileen is still throwing drinks in her soon-to-be-ex’s face. Julia still has feelings for the guy she cheated on her husband with five years ago who is also now playing the role of Joe DiMaggio in the Marilyn musical. Wait. WHAT. Hold the phone. Julia worked with Michael Swift (Will Chase) on a different production and there blossomed, a showmance. And I LOVE a good showmance. And judging from the vomit-inducing, slow motion montage of the two of them on the Brooklyn Bridge sharing a fairly contrived but well-intentioned kiss, it looks like it was a humdinger. I really hate slow motion montages. And unconvincing make-out scenes. Other things I hate include: Karen’s friends from Iowa. Like, all of them. Please, spare us your attempt at making your unnamed, bit-role on a network primetime episode into a “character” by screaming “Broadway Baby!” as loudly as you can in your idea of a “country twang.” But I digress. In other news, Tom’s assistant is a sneaky, snaky, snarky little man, stealing Julia’s notebook full of musical as well as personal info and then rubbing her impotence over his career in her face. Tsk tsk. Also, he’s not gay. Who knew?! So, in summation: everyone in theater sleeps together. No? That’s not the point of the show? Could’ve fooled me.

Non-sequituer- Anjelica Huston's face looks like silly putty. My advice: do not watch this show (or at least her scenes) in HD. It can get a little House of Wax-y.

So, as much as I was unimpressed with the storyline progress this week, I have to say the musical numbers did not disappoint. From Karen belting her face off at a karaoke bar to “Redneck Woman” (Katherine McPhee SANGS some country. She could lit’rally sing me the periodic table and I’d be into it.) to the random Bruno Mars number by the newcomer Michael Swift to the ending number with Marilyn (Ivy) and Joe DiMaggio (Michael), I am thoroughly into it. Unfortunately, it’s beginning to look like this series might be something of a pretty, moving soundtrack as opposed to a plot-driven, in-depth look at a Broadway production. But keep the hope alive, people!

Thanks for reading and more importantly, thanks for watching KPRC Local 2!

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