No reality TV show

Christina Capecchi

12/02/15

The wedding that Tyler Schwandt and his fiancee are planning
could've been broadcast on national TV. But he's perfectly
content with a quieter, more intimate wedding Mass.

The 23-year-old Catholic from Rockford, Mich., has the
distinction of being the firstborn of 13 boys, the family
whose improbable boy streak went viral with the 12th
pregnancy and generated another round of stories when a 13th
son arrived in May. Crews from "The Today Show" and "Good
Morning, America" were at the Schwandts' six-bedroom brick
home before they had returned from the hospital, citing
statisticians who set the odds of 13 consecutive boys at 1 in
8,000.

Each boy has felt like a one-in-a-million blessing to Jay and
Kateri Schwandt, whose openness to life is rooted in their
Catholic faith.

Ty absorbed those values his entire life and considers his
family the best marriage-prep he could've hoped for. He's
been changing diapers since third grade and has a knack for
getting a baby to sleep. When asked what he wants to do when
he grows up, Ty has always offered the same answer: be
successful, be happy and be a dad.

Growing up with so many brothers brought a series of
practical jokes and broken windows, including one instance
when the family's pole barn didn't have a single intact
window, thanks to errant hockey pucks. Stuffed with backpacks
and bunk beds and mounds of hockey pads, Kateri has likened
their house to a locker room. Ty loves it.

He and his fiancee, Bailey, a 20-year-old college junior,
plan to learn NFP before their July 2016 wedding. She has one
sibling and used to imagine having two kids of her own one
day but has since raised it to four - a number Ty still
considers far too low. "God has a plan for us," Ty said.
"I'll be happy with whatever we're blessed with. Every time
we get on that subject, Bailey says, 'Please, just give me
one little girl.'"

After the birth of their 12th son in 2013, TLC offered the
Schwandts a reality show. Jay and Kateri sat down to discuss
the prospect with their older sons one autumn evening before
supper, hashing out the pros and cons.

"I was never intrigued," Ty said. "I liked the attention, but
I never loved the attention, and it almost lasted a little
too long for me. I'd rather live a simple, happy life. You
see 'Kate Plus 8' and the Duggars and all those other shows.
They make a good run and then, in the end, they come crashing
down. It wasn't worth trying to be the exception."

Surely the camera crew would've gravitated toward the
handsome firstborn, turning his engagement into a major
storyline and reducing the wedding sacrament to a heavily
marketed special episode.

No thanks, says Ty. "We want our wedding to be intimate. I'm
glad we're able to keep this in the family."

Just reading the online comments strangers have written about
his family is enough to make his stomach turn. Saying "no" to
reality TV, as he sees it, is a "yes" to privacy, serenity
and family. He has total confidence - and a measure of relief
- in their decision to decline.

"I'm very thankful for it because I don't know how well I'd
be able to take it. My biggest concern would be all of the
little boys. They would grow up in front of cameras. I feel
like they would never become who they really are."

Watching their lives unfold as he begins a family of his own
leaves nothing to be desired. It is the adventure of a
lifetime.

Capecchi is a freelance writer from Inver Grove Heights,
Minn., and the editor of sisterstory.org.