Category Archives: Discovery

“The poorest person is not one without a dollar, but one without a dream.”

This quote is often posted on Facebook and Twitter and yet it resonates deeply each and every time. It’s not surprising. Whether one lives in poverty or the penthouse, is a front office clerk, or corner office CEO, when dreams, aspirations, and visions reside within, there is energy for another day. The simple truth is, the human happiness quotient is not based on outside things. It is based on what is within.

The biggest challenge is not dream development or creation. It’s keeping them alive when the light above them dims. It’s remembering to take them out for intimate dates, even after being married to them for 20 years. And as the quote insinuates, it’s in making sure that other goals don’t replace what’s really important. Sometimes, our dreams don’t need more money – they need a place to lay their tired heads.

It’s true that some of our more “creative” ideas may have an expiration date based on timing or circumstances. You may not be able to join the circus at 39 years old and perform as a trapeze artist, but can you go to a TRX or Pilates class and learn to strength train while suspended – closing your eyes and imagining yourself in the big tent? In other words, if you hold your dream tightly enough, and know the intrinsic worth for you alone, you will find a way to make the essence of it a reality.

The chances of me becoming a professional dancer now are slim, but no holds barre (pun intended), I am great and graceful when I’m in cardio dance classes…(well, theoretically…when my ankle is not swollen!) For an hour I compassionately stroke the head of that tiny farfetched dream. And guess what? My positivity, energy, and happiness are always higher than before I started.

If you can make authenticity boil over, it is multi-faceted, brilliant, and far more valuable than the world’s most expensive diamond.

Ready to reinvigorate your dreams? Read on!

Discovery:

What dream of mine keeps coming back year after year?

What am I doing with it?

If I’m not doing enough, what can I do to inch toward that part of myself?

What’s the best thing that can happen if I simply go for it?

Why am I waiting?

No matter how thin or worn or frayed the edges become, put your dream in your pocket or your purse. Sling it over your shoulder and carry at least one with you at all times. Be open to taking it out and showing it off, like you would a picture of your daughter or son, or kitty or pup. Don’t hide it and don’t run from it. Remember, your dreams are not going anywhere. Where ever you go, there they are, patiently waiting for you to take them out for a spin.

Like this:

After school unwind with my little man. He normally runs in with a bunch of boyish banter. But yesterday he went straight to his room without saying hello. Spells trouble. Color change? (It’s a Maryland thing). Reflection form? Lost glasses? What?? Nope. Nope. And nope. He was dealing with emotions and developing identity.

I did what Mom’s do. Started asking questions. Expecting to hear about recess basketball, the math quiz, the virtues of jazz band and the like. I was on high alert when his answers were despondent and distant. Five minutes of questioning and probing (which seems short, but honestly is not) and the reluctant answers began to flow.

It began in PE, because little girl classmate, we will call “Anna” has not yet mastered a spiral when throwing a football. She tried for half the class. The teacher was patient. Allowed her to keep trying. Ignoring everything around him, that doesn’t include him is his specialty, but something new came up. When several boys laughed and called Anna out of her name; when he saw that her feelings might be getting hurt, the boy we have been pouring into and trying to raise well showed up.

First he thought he could stop them. Just talk them out of it. No chance. He saw on a basic level the P’s of evil: Persuasive and Pervasive. It seeks its way into the fabric of people and moves on through the room and it’s really hard to trace the beginning or find the end. He tried to get them to stop. The teacher was not responding and he felt like he had to do something. It didn’t even dawn on him that his actions, standing up for someone else like that might at best create alienation, or at worst be dangerous; my child has been threatened before. But it didn’t matter to him, he said he was just angry about it. And he wanted to do something which he did…because when he couldn’t make a direct difference, his backdoor ruckus caused the teacher to take notice.

Don’t get me wrong, I love teachers. Educators rock. They stay in a difficult job that is extremely demanding and often bears a dividend so far down the line it’s not realized until years later. I imagine that can work against your positive energy. Especially when have a gym full of 5th graders. (Sigh)

Identity peaked when Ms. “Gym” saw what was happening; due to the ruckus.
“Everyone sit down! Who laughed at “Anna” and made fun of her?! Step up right now! We are not having any of that in my class!” (Silence and Levi tilting his head in the direction of his otherwise friends, trying to get them to be honest about it.) Not a chance.

This continued until the threats began. Ms. “Gym” announced that all balls would be taken if someone didn’t come forward. In other words, all would suffer for the few. That struck his compassion bone, the one I didn’t know was yet growing…he couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up and walked over to put his ball away. Now here in the story I really felt my patience wearing thin. Was this super cute and respectful kid telling me that he really was the one making fun and laughing at “Anna”? I would like to say that I hadn’t accused him of that…but alas, even those of us who wear crowns fall off the throne one or twice a day!

His answer was so simple. “No, mom. I didn’t want everyone to lose out. It wasn’t fair. So I thought if I said it was me, at least all of them would be able to keep playing. Seriously mom – I don’t like when things are not fair. Then she accused me of lying. And I had to admit that I was just trying to save the class. And then I got in trouble for lying! You can’t win!”

Again…my left eye of scrutiny didn’t want to buy this story. My truth and pride radar were in conflict. But in the end, being able to slow down with him, I realized that it was all true. There had been a collision of his emotions and who he wants to be in life. A problem solver, lover of justice and purveyor of good. The presentation needs work for sure…but pretty cool I think. The things you learn when you slow down and let your little people talk.

The ending? I asked the question that I sometimes forget to ask. What would make you feel better son? The answer was the best part of my week so far:

Remember when you used to help me sleep by rubbing my eyelashes. Will you do that right now?

Needless to say – we laid together on the couch for a while, whispering and giggling and relaxing, then I took these pictures. It was the most intimate of dates with my boy. We both left better than we came. And I think that’s pretty cool.