Sleep-training our 4-year old...

This LO (little one) (Aug 2014) was a pretty easy sleeper for the most part. When she was 1-2 years old she wanted to be rocked to sleep (or just until sleepy), but she started wanting/needing to be rocked longer and longer until she would sleep, so we sleep-trained very gently, just by setting an alarm on my phone (for 5 minutes or something) and telling her that when that alarm went off, Mommy (or Daddy) would be putting her in her bed and leaving the room. She complained the first couple of nights but quickly got used to it.

Fast forward to now, age 4. This past year was tough with my husband deployed. She shared a room with her 6-year old brother, and mostly went to sleep fine. When hubby got back this summer we moved, and since then she does not want to sleep by herself. I thought it would just take some transition time since she has her own room now, but it's been 2.5 months and it's getting worse, not only does she want someone to lie next to her until she's asleep, but she wants one of us to "sleep with me until it's morning-time." If she wakes up in the night and one of us is not there anymore, she cries and wants to come in our bed or for one of us to come into her room. When we've tried leaving the room at bedtime, she cries, says she's afraid to sleep by herself, etc. The other night I REALLY had to do some things after her bedtime, so I couldn't stay with her, and she slowly walked up and down the stairs, we would tell her to get back in her room, she'd cry or tell us how scared she was, we'd either just tell her again sternly or pray with her and tell her we are right downstairs etc, but she did this until 10pm! (her bedtime is 7:30-8pm). I've thought about having her share a room with brother again but that will have to end eventually anyway... I may try the timer thing again, but she's older and more verbal now... Any other suggestions? Quick confession: I haven't minded TOO much because she's so sweet and snuggly at bedtime, and I get extra sleep when I "have" to go to bed at 8pm! But my husband and I have no time together this way, and I am working on another degree now and need the time in the evenings occasionally, so that's why I've been really realizing that this can't go on indefinitely.

Have you tried incentives?
If you sleep in your bed all night you get X. If y...

Posted
09/18/2018

Have you tried incentives?

If you sleep in your bed all night you get X. If you sleep in your bed all week you get XYZ.

Does she have a night light? You could make a big to-do of picking out a new one for her to "sleep in her room all night".

I read your comment just as she came downstairs telling me she can't sleep by herself. I told her your suggestion. She smiled, because she's a huge gift-lover. But it wasn't enough for tonight. She's sleeping on the couch next to me for now...

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