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I came across some image yesterday and shared them with one of my best friends. Knowing that this made her felt better and that she’s aware, that I’m always there for her no matter what…made me really happy. I really suck at expressing myself verbally or physically, so pictures or poems are indeed a good way to get feelings across. I’m really happy my feelings were understood through these.

And so, I have decided to share “these” with you guys.

I know a lot of you guys are suffering from depression. You feel like there’s no-one to turn to or there’s no-one who’ll listen to you. You think your problems are unimportant and you’re alone. Well, you’re not. I’m here if anyone needs someone to talk to. I love giving advice and listening to people. Don’t ever think you are alone.

He lost himself
in the hands of society
He bared his teeth
growl and scratched at nothing
He felt high
He was on cloud nine
But within a blink of an eye
he was torn to threads
By society which had given birth
Birth to greed, insecurities
power, lust
and all things humans crave for

He lost himself and
Just like that he was forgotten
yet why-
Why do humans crave so much
for materialistic things?
It isn’t that which define who we are
But we
We are the ones who define who we are
It’s too late
Because half of this world has already lost itself

Emotions scattered like broken glassAs realization hitsNo matter how much you triedit was never enoughLiving in the shadows of siblingsMore talented, more likedor even better looking despiteobnoxious charactersAgain you listen to praises that was notbestowed upon youAgain you cringed at screaming voicesBlaming you for things you haven’t doneand have doneFor speaking your mindFor existingThe pressure of doing betterof being noticed for onceTime wasted and like alwaysit was never enoughYou were never enoughAnd you now accepted the fact that you will never be enoughYou shut out the worldDrew pretty pictures against membraneSpilled ink on untouched papersYou smiled at the life you hadYou smiled at your smudged reflectionA figure like you stared backEyes that showedhow broken you wereAlone, defeated,Useless, worthlessHow many times you chantedin your mind“I just want to be good enough to someone”How many times were you left alone and reminded you weren’tOne…two or maybe a thousand timeswith a smile that held no story behind itYou studied yourselfYou still couldn’t hide itTears would threaten to spillany time soonand you’ll panic and scratch at your skinlosing your mindYou were doing so wellbut somewhere it went wrongNothing could stop you from feelingand knowing thatYou were and will never begood enough

Sometimesit stops at our throatAnd we find it hard to breatheWe thrash about And scratch at our chestLungs burning With the desire to be filled-With life A reason to keep livingDay by daywe mortals struggleTo make something worth the time we have left hereWe bickerSlaughter LaughCrySmileat the different things life throws at usWe wear masks with permanentsmiles or frownsOur pride is too greatit takes controlNo “I’m sorry”s or “Excuse me”swhen necessary Life’s egoand life’s sacred selfGiving us two choices:To live or to dieBlinded by all things bad that feel so rightselfishness greedenvy and the list goes onWe choose dying without realizingStaining the once pure mindof all things goodSlowly with aging life will take its tollgiving each of us what we truly deserveIt’s too late nowto rewrite new stories on worn out pagesthat fades away along with usHappy thoughtsSad thoughtsit doesn’t matter to lifeBecause we mortals are life in its selfMake it what we willand live it cautiously

Since lately, I’ve been having a little trouble posting things and then it hit me that I was having a writer’s block and I was like, “OMG NUUU WAY!!” (ha-ha). Anyways, I know it’s normal for people to have writer’s block but being someone who constantly have ideas or you know….I’m a little sad about it. Most times, it’s not about having lack of new ideas to post but it’s having ideas on what to post but not being able to put it all down in words. This is like my biggest problem. I have so many drafts like it’s not even funny. They are either half done or just done but lack something and sounds off or I’m just not satisfied with what I wrote. I don’t know, I mean this blog is where I can talk about the things I like or dislike maybe, or maybe talk about how my day went or my plans for tomorrow, the future and so on. Yet I find it a little hard to do that or maybe I’m just lazy (ha-ha)….nah I’m not.

So like I’ve sat down and I’ve thought about what I wanted to do and what I don’t want to do…and I came up with a schedule and I thought “Hey! I should have done this from the beginning *sings One Ok Rock’s The Beginning*” because if I did, I wouldn’t really be having this much problem. Again, it’s normal for people to go through this. I don’t normally do the whole schedule thing like everyone since I never needed to but I guess it’s okay to try it and see how it works for me. But the last time I remember following a schedule was for school and that was just…..school.

So I’ll ensure to do at least two or three post a week. I’m still fixing up a bit so I’m not really sure how much I want to do as yet but I think three sounds good….yeahhhhhhh. 😀