I am in Atlanta and that’s where I was yesterday morning when I found out. I was in my best friend’s kitchen.

What Was I Doing?

I had just completed a phone interview with a parenting site about World Breastfeeding Awareness Month. I was so certain I was not being nominated that I didn’t even hesitate about scheduling the interview for the exact time the announcements were made. In fact, as the announcements were about to begin, I texted my best friend from her bedroom where I was doing the interview to tell her that I didn’t get nominated, but “the announcements are starting.” I also emailed a good friend of mine last night who was wishing me good luck, “I am 99.99999% sure I am not nominated. But Kristen Wiig will be!”

Oh, also, as I found out, I was being kvetched at (sweetly) by Fred to make him a bowl of Cheerios with rice milk.

Who Told Me?

My publicist, Heather, called me as I was logging onto the internet to see if Kristen Wiig had gotten nominated, since I wanted her to get nominated of course, and wanted her to win (until I picked up the phone and my expectations shifted dramatically).

How Did She Tell Me?

Heather’s voice sounded funny. She asked if I had heard the good news. Like a complete and total idiot, I said, “What news?” and my best friend reports that the look on my face was “God forbid, as if someone had died.” I think I started saying, “No no no no no,” and then Heather tried to not cry and I got off the phone.
Then What?

I think I was in shock. My best friend was holding her newborn, and her 3-year-old, my almost 4-year-old, and almost 7-year-old were playing with cars and LEGO on the floor. My older son asked what the heck was going on. I told him, “Remember how President Obama had to be nominated before he became president? I was nominated for something.”

I texted my husband who is on the west coast and who of course decided to sleep in so I didn’t hear from him until he woke up hours later… I called my parents and woke them and my mom started crying and–just as she always does–repeating every single word I said at full volume to my father all the way across the apartment. I emailed my favorite Maccabeat and told him.

I started sweating like a chazer (pig). I don’t remember screaming but my friend says I did. I got on with my day. I showered (dropping both the shampoo and body wash bottles three times each; my hands literally would not work I was so shaky and excited). I dressed the boys, brushed their teeth, helped my friend with her newborn as she got her 3-year-old ready for our day at Legoland Discovery Center, and made us all sandwiches as I fielded phone calls and “made statements” for all the press outlets. Simultaneously. Literally. All of that felt like it happened all at once. My friend and I joked about hiring a nanny for the day. (We didn’t.)

Can you spot the Coke stain?

Now What?

It was an insane hectic day at Legoland with my kids and my best friend’s kids. We got vegan cupcakes to celebrate (the plan was they would be consumed if I lost to drown my sorrows in sugar). I knocked over my celebratory Coke and it got all over my clothes, the floor, and the table. We made dinner. We got my friend’s baby to poop and pee in the potty three times (I am advocating for my friend to try out Elimination Communication).

I got amazing emails from fellow nominee and 2-time winner Jim Parsons; this man is so kind and so sweet. Check out his comments about me winning here. This platonic love affair of ours is killing me! One of our producers emailed both of us, congratulating “The Power Couple.” Amazing. I spoke to my bosses, read such kind emails from our producers and writers and my buddy and co-star Melissa Rauch, marvelled at the gigantic flowers that CBS delivered in a gigantic vase, kneaded the challah dough for tomorrow, and put my boys to bed, allowing them to skip baths because I am just feeling that gosh darn generous tonight.

You know what it feels like? Not life-altering. Not “no big deal” because it is a big deal, but it feels right-sized. Perfect.

What Does It Really Feel Like?

Thank you, HaShem. Thank you for the Universe and for my historical homeland that brought my people into and out of slavery. Thank you for the complexity of my people that brought my grandparents over on shabby boats from the shtetls of Hungary and Poland. Thank you for bizarre quirky parents who gave me challenges to conquer. Thank you for every time I failed and every time I succeeded, because it brought me here.

I love that my religious faith and devotion has me honored and thrilled but humble and grateful beyond explanation.

I may not be nominated for the presidency, but you know what? Let’s aim high. And let’s also end with a quote from one of my favorite songs by the Avett Brothers:

“And I can’t go back
And I don’t want to.
‘Cause all my mistakes
Brought me to you.”

Thank you, friends and family and fans, for being there for me to bring myself to.

Mayim Bialik hosts her official blog about parenting and Judaism on Kveller. She is best known for her current role as Amy Farrah Fowler on CBS' The Big Bang Theory, as well as her lead role in the 1990s NBC sitcom Blossom. She is the grandchild of immigrants from Eastern Europe and the mother of two young boys.