We are on the final chapter of this story. Chapter five is called “Told Off by the Boss.” I’m feeling doubtful that being told off by her boss will have any effect on Serenity at all. She blows off anyone who would try and tell her how she should act and we know that she’s blown off her bosses many times before. Oh, well, let’s just get on with this travesty.

I am back with the “exciting” conclusion of Chapter 1 of The Animagus Predator! There has been tons of out-of-canon shenanigans and rampant Gary Stuness and it’s only going to get worse. I’m properly fortified with an extra-large pot of espresso and my special paintball gun in case the DRD stop by, let’s press forward into the unknown!

Today we also get to learn a new word – mithridatization! Don’t say I never taught you nothing. (Sorry, AR.) And no, it has nothing to do with turning people into gold.

And in case you missed the previous installment, here is what you should know:

Drinking your own urine is dangerous because of the high sodium content, you should always dilute it with fresh water first.

Remember that one point when I said we could tackle two chapters in the space of one installment of snarking when I snarked at Chapters 2 and 3? Well, here’s that other point I was referring to.

That sure was fast. So now, we’ve got a ton of canon to get through, and then, we can get on to one of the really fun things about this fic…

Yes, I’m referring to the Species BioSheet Reference that the author places after the fifth chapter that delineates information on a lot of these species. You’d think we can skip that, but I’m going to go into detail when we hit that list, because there are some things that are very noticeable with those lists that suddenly make some things in the parallel galaxy beyond silly and ridiculous.

Welcome back to another day on our break from the horrible Call of Duty fic. This week I’m flying solo as I riff on chapter 2 of A Questing We Go! that, so far, has been fairly quest free.

To recap, in chapter one we were treated to a game of hide and seek being played by a large group of kids, most of whom wanted to be playing almost anything else. They eventually find a radioactive map and decide to call it a night. Chapter two follows the point of view of Harmonia, a fairy that appeared briefly in chapter one, only to throw a bitch-fit about being called “glowey” and leave.

Hello readers. I’m really sorry for missing last week, life just got crazy(ier). For this week, I’ve decided to venture into the world of crossover fanfiction, and I found a weird little story on my first try.

Now, the writing mechanics in this story aren’t so bad. Certainly not down to our usual standard. What make it snark-worthy, however, are the author’s laughable attempt at mystery, the abuse of two different canons in one story, and the outrageous timesquiggle that makes it impossible to take this seriously as a piece of fanfiction.

I found this by looking in the Wrinkle in Time Trilogy crossover section, since I had some good luck in the Wrinkle in Time Trilogy section before. Once there, I clicked on Harry Potter, and there this was:

This is a mystery story! Luna meets a stranger at the store, and they become fast friends? Who is this girl? It’s your job to guess.

Anyone want to guess who Luna’s going to meet? Just in case you’ve missed it, I’ll play along and not give it away. Let’s look at the story and see what the hints are.

Warning: As per usual, there’s bad things referenced in this chapter (either by myself or by the author) including concepts of rape. Please be aware of this before you continue. I may seem like a heartless bitch, but I love you, my loyal readers.

Hello! Welcome back to the nonsensical DBZ fanfic known as “Control.” As you can tell, I have barred the doors and boarded the windows so none of you can escape. If I have to suffer through this, so do you. So, nya nya.

Before our week-long sabbatical from this literary crapsterpeice, we witnessed the death of Videl, the introduction of an incompetent detective (Mr. Khaki Suit), and the quite obvious plot-contrivance of Gohan teaching at Bra’s new, private, all-girl’s school. If anyone did not see that coming, you’ll need to stay after class so we can chat about your progress.

If you have no idea what’s going on at this point, don’t worry too much. Even the characters in this story are clueless as to what the author is attempting to accomplish. Let’s get started, shall we? The sooner we start, the sooner we finish, right? Right!

Sorry for the late post, folks – what can I say, it’s the weekend. As we do not have anything queued up for today, please enjoy this amazingly detailed dinosaur zombie in honor of Taco’s epic Call of Duty fic.