One facet of the community that I'm sure many of us have noticed is the adoration of a certain circle of reviewers. This is in some cases due to prolificity and/or a result of a distinctive, memorable writing style. So how about the junior varsity team, which consists of a number of familiar faces that just don't get the love despite featuring some qualities unique to themselves? This thread is for you guys, and I will start with two.

sushiman: Diverse, multifarious taste coupled with a very smooth writing style and competent descriptions. His reviews can be a bit long at times, but only when he actually has a good bit of merit to say. Can't say enough about this guy.

Liquid_Braino: Nobody knows "female-fronted" like this guy, and this is a throne I suspect he will never vacate. Sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, but never distractingly so.

Add some more.

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nuclearskull wrote:

Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

There was this guy who wrote a bunch of reviews back in 2011. His username was thejoker. While his reviews where somewhat short most of the time, they were insightful and helpful, despite the fact that I disagree with almost all of his opinions (the only exceptions I can think of are Erasmus and Vaakevandring).

_________________Your theory, the rise of hell Will never come, the time will show Evil symbols are dying In the light of Christ

I actually like reading the reviews by hammersmashedeverything. I don't agree with him all the time but he does good reviews. He only has a few under his belt so I would like to see more from this user.

I also agree with Diamhea when it comes to sushiman and Liquid_Braino. As a mater of fact, Liquid_Braino's reviews has turned me on to some of that kick ass female fronted j-rock power metal.

I often plug HeySharpShooter, but I'll bring him up again here 'cause he just covers the stuff I tend to dig in a detailed and frank fashion that I enjoy reading. dismember_marcin is one I've been reading whenever he turns up recently, another bloke with a lot of knowledge and a colourful if highly conversational way of writing, sort of seems like a tidied-up transcript of alcohol-fueled rambling I'm often party to myself which might be another reason I relate to it.

MettleAngel wrote very enjoyable, light-toned reviews that managed to be nicely descriptive despite the enormous amount of puns of album, band and song titles he worked into the reviews. It's pretty amusing stuff. In some of his later reviews he got a little carried away, though. I recommend his Beyond Twilight review.

LiquidBraino is spectacular, I thoroughly enjoy sushiman and BastardHead's stuff too though they're more prominent reviewers here, "I would rather staple my nutsack to my nose..." is the greatest line in reviewing history. I get a kick out of Bitterman too.

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lord_ghengis wrote:

Don't Sing. Don't Eat. Stop Exist.The So Far, So Good, So What of our generation.

OlympicSharpshooter remains the best writer on the site. Even the reviews he wrote in his mid-teens.

This 1000000 times. I'll never stop championing his name, and the fact that he's been gone for so long and the golden age passed so long ago to the point where he needs to be mentioned in an "underrated reviewers" thread absolutely breaks my heart.

He really has/had a way of describing albums that was very detailed and yet personal - never too clinical, never just rambling on about personal stuff, never talking too much about hype or extra stuff beyond the music. His review on Rush's Permanent Waves is one of my favorites on the site.

His review on Rush's Permanent Waves is one of my favorites on the site.

"Warmth...". Yeah, I like that one a lot, too.

_________________"Who's this again?" my brother asks as his exceptional jeep stereo explodes with sound. "Lair of the Minotaur!", I say loudly."Glare of the Minotaur?" "No, Lair...but that's a pretty damn good name too!".

What happened to bitterman? I noticed his profile no longer exists. I always got a few good chuckles out of his reviews and his profile page actually turned me on to one of my favorite albums.

Self-imposed exile, so it seems. I interpreted this as his idea of a way to add a deserving finale to his reign on the site. He requested an email change but never confirmed it, so his account remains in "limbo" and gives a 404 error.

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nuclearskull wrote:

Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

What happened to bitterman? I noticed his profile no longer exists. I always got a few good chuckles out of his reviews and his profile page actually turned me on to one of my favorite albums.

Sorry about bumping an old dead thread, but man I loved bitterman. I found his sheer hatred of everything hilarious, I'm still waiting for someone to appear under the name "betterman" and give 100% to everything.

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lord_ghengis wrote:

Don't Sing. Don't Eat. Stop Exist.The So Far, So Good, So What of our generation.

PorcupineOfDoom: Knows modern melodeath and female fronted gothic very well, and sticks to his area of expertise with good results.

Felix 1666: Old school German metalhead who knows thrash as well as anyone I can think of. I enjoy his reviews despite the awkward syntax; he has somehow made that a style of his own and has a dry sense of humor just like me, so I get a kick out of a lot of his writings.

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nuclearskull wrote:

Leave a steaming, stinking Rotting Repulsive Rotting Corpse = LIVE YOUNG - DIE FREE and move on to the NEXT form of yourself....or just be a fat Wal-Mart Mcdonalds pc of shit what do I give a fuck what you do.

Despite not really sharing the same opinions (So Far, So Good... So What! rules!), gasmask_colostomy is a consistently informative, yet entertaining reviewer. Some excellent new blood.

TadakatsuH0nda wrote:

Sorry about bumping an old dead thread, but man I loved bitterman. I found his sheer hatred of everything hilarious, I'm still waiting for someone to appear under the name "betterman" and give 100% to everything.

I second this. That guy's reviews were entertaining as hell, like a modern day UltraBoris.

PorcupineOfDoom: Knows modern melodeath and female fronted gothic very well, and sticks to his area of expertise with good results.

Wow, I'm honoured to know that people appreciate the stuff that I review. I remember back when I started about a year ago I said some things that I probably shouldn't have (regarding X Japan, stoner metal and some other stuff) and rightly received a lot of flack for it, so I'm glad that you think I've improved in that respect

Good thing about Myrkur is that there is a Nausika review so I don't need to read anything else. Her writing is clumsy most of the time but also gets across what I want to know about an album most of the time.

I've been following PorcupineOfDoom reviews as well, and I also remember when he started submitting reviews last year and how he came under fire for a lot of things he said. It seems we share our interest for melodic death metal and female-fronted gothic bands. I think we'd get along quite well.

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But thus, fingernails are no more. Palms are no more. The awareness you are is no longer bound. By anything.

I remember back when I started about a year ago I said some things that I probably shouldn't have (regarding X Japan, stoner metal and some other stuff) and rightly received a lot of flack for it, so I'm glad that you think I've improved in that respect

Lol what shouldn't have been said about X Japan? I remember a highly negative review of "Jade" popping up around when you joined last year, that had two other members (including me) slam out an opposing review the next day. Was that you? xD I do quite like your reviews overall though from the ones I've read.

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lord_ghengis wrote:

Don't Sing. Don't Eat. Stop Exist.The So Far, So Good, So What of our generation.

Gonna have to give props to PoD as well. He's improved immensely since he started. Definitely a testament to what hard work, listening to criticism, and striving to improve can do.

I like to think that listening is one of my strong points I'd definitely recommend to any other new reviewers that they take criticism on the chin, because at the end of the day that's one of the best ways to improve. If someone's offering guidance as to what you can do better, you'd be mad to ignore it.

TadakatsuH0nda wrote:

Lol what shouldn't have been said about X Japan? I remember a highly negative review of "Jade" popping up around when you joined last year, that had two other members (including me) slam out an opposing review the next day. Was that you? xD I do quite like your reviews overall though from the ones I've read.

Haha, yeah that was me. Eventually I had the common sense to remove it because I didn't know what I was talking about At that point in time I was pretty oblivious and had no idea how many people I would piss off

Haha, yeah that was me. Eventually I had the common sense to remove it because I didn't know what I was talking about At that point in time I was pretty oblivious and had no idea how many people I would piss off

I could understand where you were coming from with it too, it was a completely valid opinion, but that tends to be the problem for people trying out that particular band, is when they try the new stuff first instead of the old albums which are a fair bit better. I'm in the process myself of weeding out some of my reviews, not that I've got many, but it's crazy you can look back and cringe at some of the stuff you wrote and think entirely different about something years later.

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lord_ghengis wrote:

Don't Sing. Don't Eat. Stop Exist.The So Far, So Good, So What of our generation.

...it's crazy you can look back and cringe at some of the stuff you wrote and think entirely different about something years later.

I know what you mean. There are a number of reviews I've written where I now think that I've been too harsh or praised it too highly, which I'm slowly getting around to editing. There are a few though that are beyond saving, and re-reading that one for 'Jade' just made me cringe, hence why it is gone. But I learnt from it, and now I know how to write a negative review that is actually worth reading. And you could argue that without writing badly to begin with, I (and many others, no doubt) wouldn't have become a coherent reviewer.

Well, at least you bashed that Tystnaden album. God, words cannot accurately express how much I hated that thing. Their first album is a lot better, but I can't really stand that one either anymore *shrug*

Despite not really sharing the same opinions (So Far, So Good... So What! rules!), gasmask_colostomy is a consistently informative, yet entertaining reviewer. Some excellent new blood.

TadakatsuH0nda wrote:

Sorry about bumping an old dead thread, but man I loved bitterman. I found his sheer hatred of everything hilarious, I'm still waiting for someone to appear under the name "betterman" and give 100% to everything.

I second this. That guy's reviews were entertaining as hell, like a modern day UltraBoris.

bitterman's gimmick got old quickly. Negative reviews, just like positive reviews, lose weight when they aren't qualified with their opposite. Even just a few would have helped, I doubt he actually believed that everything released since 1994 was absolute shit.

Still, I sort of admire his dedication to only reviewing albums he hated. That takes some moxie, certainly. No contest comparing him to Boris though, that dude was a treasure. Literally everything he gave high marks to I ended up loving (I would buy albums blindly on his recs and never regretted it) and even when I disagreed with his low marks I usually got a good laugh out of his rhetoric.

Boris was just so fascinating to me. He was a good writer when he really tried - his reviews of MOP, Seventh Son, etc showed that. He knew how to write about music with a real voice in his writing and he knew what he liked - nobody else could write about riffs that much. His taste was narrow as fuck, but eh, he liked what he liked and it seemed genuine.

bitterman just kind of sucked; now and then he'd hit a decent point with a review that made sense, but a lot of them were just awful - his Fallujah review was almost unreadable, and many of them just sank into utter nonsense and hyperbole with no other content. It was hard to get mad at it though because you know it's just one of those ANUS/DMU "lol irony" things against the MA.

Boris was a fantastic reviewer... most of the time. His shorter ones really told the reader nothing about the album. Though, the score was often a good indicator of quality, and he at least liked stuff. Man he loved his Judas Priest, didn't he?