Why Call of Duty is the Greatest Effing Franchise of All Time: A Comedy Blog

So
in case you haven't heard, Call of Duty is the single greatest gaming series
ever. Nothing else in existence even
compares to it. Other games cower in fear of the immense swagger that CoD has. You
like Mario? F*** that noise. CoD shoots Mario in the head. Skyrim? Only people
with no life play that crap. These other inferior games don't know the king
when they see him. Because its motherf****n' CoD, bro.

So
why is CoD the greatest series ever? First of all, it has a kickass campaign,
filled with epic kills and general badassery. The stories are *** awesome,
and there are enough explosions to measure up to those awesome Transformers
movies. There are so many guns that your head will spin trying to comprehend
the amount of win. Nothing else compares to the badassery of the good guys. And
the bad guys? F*** 'em. They be dropping like the chicks' pants when they see
me walk on by. Girls know a real man when they see one. Because true bros play Cod.

But
the best thing ever in this series is the multiplayer, which is easily better
than all those rip-offs. It's just so damn amazing. The maps are freakin'
amazing, and there are even more guns! There are so many guns, you could start
another world war with 'em. But they do that in the campaign, so it's all cool.
The better you are, the more kills you can get. The more kills you get, the
cooler the stuff you get, like new weapon skins and other stuff to show off
your skills. And when that KDR hits that magic number, you become a god. When
they see that gold weapon, they know
that that guy has swag. And even better, when you finally hit prestige.
People know to look out, 'cause there's a badass over here. By this point,
you're having to beat the girls off with a stick. The swag is like a giant
magnet for them. They just go to it.

But
by far the best thing in the greatest series ever, are the zombies. Call of
Duty motherf****n' invented the
zombie. Zombies are so popular, that you see them everywhere. Tons of modern
games have stolen the zombie idea. They just puts new skin on, and change the
name to something stupid, like horde mode or Resident Evil. All of these
ripoffs are nothing compared to the original: the nazi zombie. The feeling when
you shoot the undead bastards in the face it like nothing else. It takes real
skill to survive the endless waves of the zombies. This is what separates the
ladies from the men, the weak from the strong, the wimpy and the ***
badass. Get to wave 25, or GTFO, noob.

So in short, go play CoD. It’s awesome, and it’ll
make a man out of you, if you have the balls to make it that far. This game
deserves every award ever for being so damn awesome. If you haven’t already, go
and get the f****ng thing already. It’ll take your virginity and throw it
around like a basketball it’s so awesome. All I can say is, if Black Ops 2 doesn’t
win every game of the year award out there, then I’ll burn your freakin’
offices down. Especially you, GI. Modern Warfare 3 deserved an 11, not a 9. Get
your heads out of your asses, and review it LIKE A TRUE BRO. This is xXk1llzw1thsk1llzXx, and you have just been bro-ed in.

~*~

Author's
Note: Please note that this is a parody blog. All the views, opinions and words
written in this are not my opinion. The purpose of this is to entertain. So
please, take everything in this with a grain of salt. And all words written
like "****" were written like that, and are meant to be shown like
that. Please note: that is a random picture of a random dude.