How the Dodgers Can Spend the $46 Million That Lost Them Zack Greinke

The free-spending Los Angeles Dodgers, who offered Zack Greinke $160 million over five years, were outbid by the Arizona Diamondbacks’ offer of $206 million over six years. Normally, this would be a devastating blow for any die-hard fan of the Boys in Blue. But I’m an optimist who sees the extra $7.6 million over the next six years as a glass-half-full situation. Here’s how the Dodgers can spend that extra cash:

-126,666 copies of the newest FIFA video game, each year, for the next six years, so that Yasiel Puig can Instagram himself beating his 12-year-old cousins.

-76 extra cameramen whose only job is to find cute babies in the crowd for Vin Scully to gush over.

-135 additional PR gurus on Jewish Heritage Night to explain that Kiké Hernandez’s name is not actually anti-Semitic.