Since they’re stealing from me, I’ll steal from them, except that it’s not theirs anyway. These two Hummers ended up in the drink, on a lake in Russia or someplace. Now guess how there came to be two of them in the same situation.

The second drove out on the ice to rescue the first one!!! reminds me of the guy who jumped into the Willamette River here recently to rescue his “drowning” dog. The guy drowned; the dog made it back to shore easily. Oldest rule in the book: don’t rescue anyone in the water by going in after them. Especially in a Hummer.

Progress isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. If this were back in the sixties and they were beetles, they wouldn’t have cracked the ice and they would have floated if they did. I dunno. Sometimes they just don’t do progress in the right direction. Floating elegant vw or ruptured duck hummers.

Oddly enough, something similar happened in my area this past weekend. There is a temporary ice road over the river that apparently saves about a 30 minute drive on normal roads. This winter has not been as cold or snowy as normal, so the authorities have been telling people not to use it this year.

Well, this weekend a guy’s truck broke down on the ice, so he called his father to help him out, since tow trucks understandably won’t go on the ice. The father brought his full size truck to tow him out. Needless to say, the bigger truck is now at the bottom of the (very deep) river. Luckily they both survived. The “road” is blocked off now.

This kind of thing happens in and around the lakes up north all of the time. Not unusual for someone to drive out on the ice, break through and rather than call a tow company, convince a friend to come out and sink HIS truck, too.

Then they call a tow company. (ask me how I know…)

I don’t know if it still happens because I haven’t gone ice fishing in a real long time, but there were some unscrupulous folks who would “accidentally” drive their truck out on the lakes when the ice was breaking up. Whoops! There goes my truck payment, er, truck out to the middle of the the lake, ostensibly to never be seen again. It was less smelly than the vehicle “catching” fire, but an ecological disaster, if only on a smaller scale.

I’m guessing since we’re seeing both trucks, that this isn’t a scam of some kind. Or they got caught in the act and are now trying to make good.

“A guy buys a brand new Hummer H2 and has $560
monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of
course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake
with the guns, the dog, and of course the new vehicle.

They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to
make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for
the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look
like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it is going
to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.

So, out of the back of the new Hummer comes a stick of dynamite
with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do take
into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the
ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new
Hummer), because they don’t want to take the risk of slipping on the
ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke
with the resulting blast.

They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite. Remember a
couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns and
the dog? Let’s talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used
for RETRIEVING. Especially things thrown by the owner.

You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on
the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second
fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave
their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps
coming. One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The
shotgun is loaded with # 8 buckshot, hardly big enough to stop a Black
Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on.
Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really
confused, and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have
gone insane.

The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new H2.
—-BOOM!—- Dog and H2 are blown to bits and sink to the
bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots
standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look on
their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by
illegal use of explosives is not covered. He still had yet to make the
first of those $560 a month payments!”