You Know You’re a Nurse If…

Each profession comes along with it’s own outside of work thought processes and annoyances. You may find yourself pointing out technicalities on television shows, advertisements, articles, etc., that those outside your field of work would never be able to recognize and vice versa. Whether it’s avoiding inaccurate reenactments of medical scenarios or living by unbreakable work habit rules, you know you’re a nurse if…

You own pens with prescription medication names on them.

Everyone refuses to watch medical shows with you because all you do is sit there and correct every inaccuracy throughout the entire episode.

You wash your hands before you use the restroom.

You believe there is a special place in hell for whoever invented the terrible call light.

You’re baffled by patients when they have more piercings than you can count are afraid of getting a shot.

You’ve placed bets on someone’s BAC.

12-hour shifts do not pose a threat to your bladder control.

You’re a strong believer that not all patients are annoying, because remember, some are unconscious.

You’ve had to run out of a patient’s room to refrain from laughing uncontrollably in their face.

On your day off, you avidly check your caller ID to make sure it isn’t someone trying to get you to come into work.

Your family and friends always describe their injuries/symptoms so you can diagnose them.

You’re fine with eating during the free time you have between hanging blood and plasma.

You include caffeine in your basic food groups.

Your number one rule is “don’t get anything on you.”

All of your clocks are set to military time.

You think you hear call bells and jump out of bed in the middle of the night.

Better Left Unsaid.

There are also many times when, as a nurse, you wish you could just say exactly what you’re thinking. However, it’s usually best for the patient that these thoughts stay…well, thoughts. Here’s some things that as a nurse, you’ve thought, but (hopefully) have never said:

“Calm down, I’m not killing you.”

“This isn’t fun for me either.”

“It’s interesting that even though you describe your pain as 10/10, you’re able to sleep, eat, and talk on the phone just fine.”

“Your drug screening indicates that you do use drugs, despite you denying it. That’s weird.”

“Your arms are not broken as far as I’m aware, so please stop telling me they are.”

“I’m sorry, did you graduate from nursing school? Stop telling me how to do my job, please.”