Aquatic human torso Ryan Lochte is known, among other things, for says, "Jeah!" which is the affirmative "yeah" only with a "j" instead of a "y" because that's how cool people reinvent language, one letter at a time. It turns out, though, that as uncreative as "jeah" seems to be, Lochte didn't even come up with the word — 90s rapper MC Eiht did, along with pretty much everyone else who's ever gotten super drunk at one bar and agreed with a friend's suggestion to go to another bar.

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Eiht is mad at Lochte for trying to trademark something "his ass didn't even create," and though Eiht probably doesn't mean that Ryan Lochte's perfectly-sculpted ass dreamed up "jeah" all on its own, he will soon be sending that ass a cease and desist letter urging Lochte to stop substituting a "y" for a "j" before "eah." And before bemoan the frivolity of all this trademark wrangling, consider that there are probably several erudite semioticians arguing about the very same thing as we speak. [TMZ]

Robert Pattinson thinks acting should be a little more like Russian roulette. [MTV]

In an upcoming interview with Oprah, Rihanna admitted that "any little thing" — a litany that includes hotels, tour venues and certain, heart-string plucking songs — might remind her of her time with Chris Brown. [Mirror]

In an effort to get in superhuman shape for the next leg of her "Born This Way" tour, Lady Gaga is embarking on a gluten-free, grain-free sojourn. [Yahoo!]

Fred Durst thinks America is over Limp Bizkit because the band's "moment in time" is now mercifully at an end. [Metal Injection]

A really obnoxious-sounding business student at Fordham University went ahead and trademarked Gabby Douglas' nickname "Flying Squirrel" so he could launch his novelty t-shirt empire. [TMZ]

Seth Meyers has announced that he will not be doing a Paul Ryan impression for the upcoming SNL season. [TMZ]

Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy strolled hand-in-hand along the beach in Cape Cod, promising that their love for each other will go on, even after the boys of summer are no longer present. [TaylorSwift.com]

Mayim Bialik returned to the set of Big Bang Theory right after getting in a car accident because she is Robocop and now her secret has been revealed to the world. [TMZ]

The Black Keys are suing Pizza Hut and Home Depot for using their music to hawk pizza-flavored dough-circles and tools that enterprising middle-aged men will undoubtedly use to injure themselves. [HuffPo]

An unabashed paparazzo captured a series of pictures that appear to show Karolyn Pho crying and yelling at Shia LaBeouf, probably, notes the Daily Mail with typical incisiveness, because Pho just learned that LaBeouf will have real sex in front of Lars von Trier. [Daily Mail]

Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were pulled over for speeding because they're reckless and sex-drunk, obviously. [TMZ]

Also hoping to one day be pulled over for speeding are Carly Rae Jepsen and Matthew Koma, who have been secretly dating for a whole year. [People]