10 Weird tampon patents

Lots of entrepreneurs have thought about what would make the ideal new sanitary product. Some of these ideas are very unlikely to ever be produced in reality though… Here are the 10 weirdest ones.

1. Combination tampon and menstrual pad Is it a tampon? Is it a sanitary towel? It’s both! ‘Why not create something that combines the best of both sanitary products?’ is what inventor Norma Brown must have thought. Double up on the protection: with this tampon with extra towels (or is it a pad with added tampon inside?) there’s no way you’ll ever have any leakage stains anymore.

2. Curved tampon applicator. Actually, this one is pretty logical: seeing as a vagina isn’t completely straight, why should your tampon applicator be? Inventors Susan C. Paul and Donald E. Sheldon didn’t have a good answer to this question either, so they came up with the curved tampon applicator which should be way easier to insert. Think of a plastic banana, but smaller and white.

3. Vibrating tampon apparatus. Most women don’t feel very sexy on their period. However, having an orgasm can reduce menstrual cramps. Is that why inventor Steven A. Kilgore came up with his vibrating tampon? Luckily he designed it so the remote power supply unit is disposed outside of the vaginal canal to prevent electrical shocks to the vaginal walls.

4 Sanitary towel for men. No, they don’t bleed. But men do ejaculate. And usually they fall asleep straight afterwards. So how to keep your boyfriend’s boxers clean? By making him wear these sanitary towels especially for men. After intercourse he can just wrap them around his penis to prevent semen from leaking onto the freshly washed bed sheets. Amazing!

5. Self-heating health care sanitary towel. Feeling cold around your vaginal area? Luckily a self-heating sanitary towel has been invented. This hot pad should be effectively assisting in treating gynaecological diseases by promoting the diffusion of medicines or heat. How? Because of its self-heating chemical contents (a mixture of metal powder, activated carbon, water-absorbing resin, vermiculite and water to be precise).

6. Suction device. What to do when your sanitary towel is full of blood? Change it for a new one. Or not. Virginio Marconato has invented a suction device. Using his clever apparatus you could pull a vacuum and suck the liquids out of a pad and into a container. The best thing? You could do this again and again and again.

7. Inflatable menstrual cup for blood leakage prevention. Inflatable, yes, like a balloon or a pool float toy. This inflatable menstrual cup, an invention of Filiberto P. Zadini and Giorgio C. Zadini, can be blown up either before or after insertion into the vagina. According to the inventors, it’s not necessary to use an ‘external pneumatic source’; there’s a self-inflating apparatus within the device.

8. Splash-proof menstrual cup. The horror of menstrual cup users? That something goes wrong when taking the cup out and blood is spilled everywhere over the bathroom floor. No chance of that happening with this splash-proof menstrual cup. It doesn’t only have a ‘splash-proof separator’ and a ‘liquid discharge groove’, but also a ‘splash menstruation barrier’ to prevent bloody embarrassments.

9. Sanitary napkins disposable in water closet bowl with the use of alkaline agent. Inventors K. Noguchi and M. Saburi were probably fed up with all the blockages caused by women throwing their sanitary towels in the toilet. So they came up with pads that are disposable in water. How? Because they’re made of carboxy methyl cellulose short fibers that dissolve when being thrown into water together with an alkaline source.

10. Cellphone based tampon monitoring system. Nowadays mobile phones can be used for calling, texting, photographing and surfing the internet. Oh, and also to monitor your period. Inventor Kevin B. Larkin has come up with a system which features a tampon with a sensor in it. Through a sensor hub, this sensor wirelessly connects to your mobile phone, letting you know when it’s time for a fresh one.