Russia Will Pay for Trump's Wall

Moscow. Special to The Spoof. Vladimir Putin, tweeting before breakfast, offered to pay the $5 billion reluctant Democrats won't vote to begin the first phase of the president's projected border wall with Mexico. The stand-off between Trump and congressional Democrats threatens to shut down government because the president will veto any funding bill that does not include the $5 billion he demands for the wall.

In explaining why Russia would willingly put up the billions, Putin noted the growing division between East and West despite the president's outwardly friendly attitude toward Putin. "We need to bring our two countries together, and this generous offer will cement relations between the world's two superpowers."

Skeptics believe that Putin is also working on a secret deal to return the turncoat Russian contract "spy," Maria Butina, to Moscow, where she likely will be imprisoned or executed for working with American prosecutors for the past five months. Russia-watchers believe Trump will gladly trade Butina for a wall.

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