Phone. Sex [Note to Self]

Can your phone make you better in bed? This isn’t about phone sex. It’s about using a phone to improve your sex life. And…they’re not the same thing.

The hardest thing about sex often isn’t the sex itself. It’s talkingabout sex. Being OK talking about it. Talking about what you like. Or don’t. Asking your partner if they like what you’re doing. Or not. Telling them you’d like them to stop what they’re doing or do more of what they’re doing. Taking that BIG leap off the cliff and asking if they’d be willing to (fill in the blank)…do something…new…different…outrageous; something you haven’t done before. Because—freak!—that thingyou’re asking for? They might just flip out.

How. Do. You. Talk. About. This. Taboo. Scary. Stuff?

Well…there’s an app for that. As technology attempts to solve everything, PlsPlsMe, an app, comes along to help lubricate the search for sexual compatibility between willing participants.

PlsPlsMe was developed by GraceAnn Bennett. During her 19-year marriage, she and her husband never learned to talk about sex.

“As a 20-something virgin Mormon newlywed, Bennett expected her new husband to just get it.”

He didn’t. She didn’t. They ultimately divorced.

She set out to try and find a way to make it easier for people to talk about sex.

In this episode, two separate couples demonstrate the app by answering questions and discussing their sexual preferences with each other…with us listening in; this could be uncomfortable for some people to hear; definitely NSFW*.

With both people answering questions separately about their likes and dislikes, they get to see how their partner replied, helping them discover areas of mutual desire, as well as places where their preferences are sharply discordant.

Because Note to Self covers how technology and being human intersect, the episode explores whether a device that tends to pull us away from others can be used to help bring us together.

Texting and email and other technologies often prevent us from having face-to-face interactions. Someone using this app answers a wide-range of sexual preference questions—“love it, like it, not so much, no way”—on their phone; alone; separate from.

But a moment later the app shares the answers with your partner, on their device. In the often-sensitive area of talking about sex, that bit of space between you answering a question and your partner seeing the answer, may provide just the needed breathing space to help keep things safe. And make it possible to talk about stuff that’s been stashed out of sight.

Both for new couples and for couples who have been together a long time.

And for those desires that are shared? The app uses technology to deliver a dopamine-tripping-notification that lets you know you both “share a turn-on.”

The show’s title, “Can Your Phone Make You Better in Bed,” grabbed my attention. It pulled me in. And the show delivered. Not only did I appreciate the openness of the couples who participated (even if I squirmed a bit), it made me realize that, despite “sex” being flaunted on T.V., the movies and in music videos…

PlsPlsMe.com: A sexy game (app) for making intimacy fun. This podcast episode was a great plug for the app; a quick look on iTunes shows 25 reviews for the current version with one-and-a-half stars. For all versions, there are 90 ratings and three stars. Definitely read the reviews.