Thursday, June 14, 2012

Get your Extra Value Meal out of my uterus

How about the Michigan House of Representatives, hmm? They're really using their time wisely getting this state of ours back on track. Unfortunately that track is one that leads not to a progressive future, but right back to the good old days where Roe v Wade was but an unthinkable Blade Runner-like dystopian nightmare, women actually clutched their pearls and good girls kept their legs closed until God told them it was time to make a baby. And they're doing it under the guise of "protecting women's health" with what's being called a "super bill" of anti-abortion legislation. Presumably it gets that name by wearing a little cape as it destroys women's lives. Fantastic.

Because politics is confusing, a lot of folks don't take action when their elected officials do egregious things. Even fairly politically astute people don't know who to contact. But at this point, if you're feeling a little bit pissed about the fact that Michigan's elected officials are more worried about your vagina than your having a job, you might wanna give somebody a call. The next step on this bill's journey will be to the Michigan Senate. According to this article, that probably won't happen until September. So clearly the House's sense of "urgency" to ram these "important laws protecting women" through was totally legit. The good news is that gives you plenty of time to type your address in to this handy website, find out who your Senator is, and call 'em up or even go visit them. Tell them you think House Bill 5711 is bullshit. While you're at it, go ahead and throw a couple of dollars to Planned Parenthood. We need them right now.

I can't help but notice that the same people who freak out about "the nanny state" whenever anybody suggests that perhaps eating six pounds of fast food and a gallon of soda for every meal might be making America the land of the fat and the diabetic an unhealthy choice are the same people who want to prevent gays from getting married and take control of my reproductive choices. It astounds me that these people don't see the contradiction here. If you're for "less government," please stop trying to eat your Biggie fries out of my uterus. In return I'll do my best to not look disgusted every time you break into a full-on sweat walking up the one flight of stairs to your apartment while carrying a White Castle Crave Case. Sounds fair to me.

About Me

I am a freelance writer and stand up comedian in the Detroit area. I primarily write about dogs, politics, comedy, music and Detroit/Hamtramck. Sometimes all of these things at once. Also sometimes other things. Like Bollywood.