Diaspora, I don't think she would be necessarily annoyed by the culture here any more than in any other not-specifically-designated-as-queer space. It's a pretty pervasive thing. I find that I'm a lot more comfortable in any environment when I'm not having to wonder if I'm going to be alienating people by talking about "gay things" too much or at all, because I know who might have similar experiences to mine. Which is the reason I started this thread. Maybe it's just me, though? I just feel like it's easy to feel a little outnumbered, in the world at large, and since being queer isn't exactly 100% socially accepted, it's nice to be able to be supportive of one another.

Originally Posted by amandamarie

Amandamarie, I'm very glad you started this thread. I am sometimes uncomfortable with the culture here, as I am in any group of people that didn't come together based on shared goals for social justice or equality of some kind. Too many times I've been attacked for expressing my beliefs. I think it's really helpful when people with perspectives that are lesser-heard speak up and don't hold back, because it helps other people who tend to feel alienated feel more comfortable, and there are always others out there who feel the same way but we don't know it, and it educates some people out there who are open to listening. It is always taking a chance to speak up though.

Anyway, I get what you are saying about hair and identity. The same friend I mentioned got her long curls cut very short, and admits that she does feel like she is given more cred by the people she hangs out with even though she thinks the reason is really stupid. This is with her new friends in SF, her old friends don't care of course. And she gets hit on less by guys now, though she still likes some (queer) guys too.