We all experience stress; we cannot avoid it. Because of this daily contact with
stress, we all have a vague idea of what it is and what it can do to our
physical and mental health. But if you were asked to define stress, what would
you say? Mental strain caused by the demands of life and work?

That would be a
typical answer, but it does not reveal why a stressed executive develops an
ulcer, nor does it explain why stress causes depression in one man and an ulcer
or heart attack in another, nor does it suggest that stress can be a result of
either boredom and inactivity or overwork. Obviously a comprehensive definition
of stress will set the scene for a better understanding of the problem. This is
it:

Stress is the reaction in an individual's body or mind when that person
perceives a potential threat to his emotional or physical well-being.

An event or situation is only stressful if you
perceive it (that is, interpret it in your mind) as threatening. For example, if
you were confronted in a dark street late at night by a man obviously intent on
robbing you, your reaction would depend on how well you believed you could cope.

If you were confident of your ability to defend
yourself, you would remain much calmer than someone who expected to lose a
fight. That is an obvious example of a situation which involves the possibility
of physical harm.

However, as our definition of stress makes clear, the same
principle applies to any experience which might affect your emotional well-being
(i.e. your happiness, sense of security, self-esteem and so forth). Thus, for
example, being criticized by someone is particularly stressful if you depend on
that person's approval to maintain your own self-esteem.

Similarly, the break-up
of a relationship is far more stressful when your emotional security depends on
the relationship than when you are emotionally self-reliant.
Thus there is no situation which, in itself, is stressful; even very dangerous
situations only evoke a reaction if a person sees them as potentially harmful.

You can see that this is true if you consider a young child playing on the edge
of a busy road. Although he is in grave danger, he may well be quite unaware of
the fact, probably feels quite happy, and only when he has been taught that
roads and cars are dangerous will he perceive the threat to himself and react in
some way.

This view of stress emphasizes that a stress
response is made up of different parts: the event, situation or environment in
which a person finds himself, his appraisal of whether it is threatening or
potentially harmful; and, lastly, his physical or emotional reaction to it. This
reaction may be either a conscious action - such as leaving the stress situation
- or a subconscious reaction.

(The conscious part of your mind is the part
with which you think and observe the world; it is made up of everything in your
mind of which you are aware while awake. The subconscious, by contrast, is
outside conscious awareness, but nevertheless works 24 hours a day to control
memory, thinking and sensory processes, and basic body systems such as breathing
and digestion.)

Since a person's appraisal of a situation also
involves subconscious as well as conscious processes, he or she may experience
the symptoms of stress without knowing why. We shall discuss this in detail
later in the chapter, but a simple example at this point will illustrate the
idea. Consider a man who is stressed by his job but does not consciously realize
that this is the cause of, say, his irritability.

The problem may have begun with a conscious
thought (I hate this job!) which was then suppressed because it was unacceptable
(But I can't leave it because my family needs the security of my employment).
However, suppression of a thought from the conscious mind does not make it go
away: it remains in the subconscious and produces a stress reaction of one sort
or another. One way to deal with this is to find something that makes you joyful
and pursue it as a pastime or career - alternative therapy, perhaps, such as
Reiki healing or reflexology, or to learn the art of manifestation and conscious
creation, so you can produce a better life for yourself.

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8
Lack Of Control

One of the things
which most people who are experiencing stress report is a loss or lack of
control over their lives. If you'd like to experience ways to get greater
control over what is happening to you, and what manifests in your life, check
out
www.therealsecretofsuccess.com for information about manifestation and the
universal law of attraction.

Alternatively, you could try taking control by pursuing a new direction in life.
For example, to reduce your own stress while serving others,
you might try Reiki or learn to use Reiki in your life as a tool for stress
reduction. Reiki training in
Frome, Somerset, and Bath and Frome is available from an experienced Reiki
master.

For emotionally based problems, it can be
necessary to consult a qualified counselor.