It’s easy to get overwhelmed by grand ideas of romantic gestures and gifts, but it can also be fulfilling to take time to evaluate the direction of a relationship and ponder growth. This can be done alone or with partner(s).

5- Attend a Romantic Music Event

Music lover? There are plenty of concerts happening in and around the city with something for many tastes.

Question: Which toy should I get a dildo or vibrator. What is the difference?

Answer:

This is such a great question! Shopping for a dildo or a vibrator can be a sexy and confusing experience. Do I need a sex toy that vibrates? How do I know what type of stimulation I’ll like? Is there a way to tell if this sex toy will bring my body to orgasm? Does more expensive mean more pleasure? Lots of choices means lots of options to experiment with but can also create a daunting shopping experience. We’re here to help you!

What’s the difference between vibrators and dildos?

Both vibrators and dildos can be used for penetration of mouths, anuses and vaginas. Anybody can use a vibrator or dildo and sex toys can be used alone for masturbation or during sex with a partner. Some people also enjoy both vibrators and dildos at the same time, and some people like to mix up their masturbation and use different toys for different moods.

Dildos are one of the oldest sex toys in our history. They are typically used for penetration of vaginas or anuses during masturbation or partnered sex. Dildos usually don’t have a motor and are made of silicone, glass, stainless steel, wood or other materials. Our pop culture tells us that dildos always look like dicks, but dildos come in a wide variety of shapes other than penises – they can take any form including non-phallic ones and fantasy (e.g. tentacle dildos). Some dildos like the Echo Dildo Vibe, have the option of a bullet-style vibrator that can be inserted into the shaft of the toy so you’re getting some of the benefits of vibration.

Vibrators usually have a motor built-in that causes either vibrates through pulses, rumbles or buzzes. Vibrators vary in shape and size, and can be designed to curve to reach prostates and g-spots, or clitoral stimulators. Some vibrators serve well as penetrative sex toys with vibration that can be turned on or off. Many can be used internally and/or externally. Most Vibrators are usually made of silicone or plastic or jelly rubber. And you’ll find that many promise to do more than one thing, like stimulate a g-spot and clitoris at the same time. Check out Secret Pleasures’How To Choose a Vibrator Guide and some of the recommended vibrators that we love.

How do you know which you’ll like?

You may be buying a vibrator or dildo for the first time, but maybe you’ve already got a sense of what pleasure you like or that brings you to orgasm. When you first set out to do your sex toy shopping, consider how important having a toy you can penetrate yourself with is for you. This can help you include or exclude toys that don’t serve this purpose. If your answer is sometimes or maybe, also consider what you already know about your body’s pleasure either during solo sex or partnered sex. Think about:

If you’re masturbating manually now (e.g. using your hand), do you tend to penetrate the hole you’re thinking of using the toy for? For example, if you have a clitoris, when you masturbate do you stimulate inside of the vagina as well as the exposed part of the clit? Or do prefer clitoral stimulation only?

If you enjoy penetration of your anus, vagina or mouth – do you like the feeling of depth, or stretching, or weightiness?

Do you have a particular kind of orgasm you want to try to achieve? For example, you may want to play with prostates or g-spots

Do you have a fantasy you think about while masturbating? If your fantasies involve a big purple penis – you may want your toy to bring that fantasy to life! Do you have a colour that turns you on? Do you fetischize the hardness and coldeness of glass or stainless steel?

Does your body need support during masturbation? For example, do you need buttons that are easy to press or an extra long handle to hold?

If you don’t masturbate or you only have orgasms with a partner, think about the kinds of things they do that arouse you or make you cum. If you haven’t yet started exploring your body’s pleasure or you haven’t had an orgasm – not to worry, there is no race to the finish and orgasms aren’t the only way to get pleasure from sex toys. As we make time to explore our bodies, we learn what they like and don’t like by playing with different types of stimulation.

Sometimes even our best guided wisdom can lead us to a vibrator or dildo that just isn’t a match for us. There are lots of great sex toy review bloggers out there, testing things and sharing their personal pros and cons – so you can try googling the toy you’re interested in to see what reviews are out there. If you’re able to, I recommend going into a sex-positive sex shop like Secret Pleasures gives you access to knowledgeable, well-trained and non-judgemental staff who know the products and manufacturers well. They are happy to answer all your questions and guide you to the toys that open up your potential for more pleasure!

]]>https://secretpleasuresblog.com/2019/01/16/ask-a-sex-educator-dildo-or-vibrator/feed/0secretpleasuresstaffdildo or vibratorask a sex educator banner2019 Sex Toys For More Pleasure in the New Yearhttps://secretpleasuresblog.com/2019/01/07/2019-sex-toys-for-more-pleasure-in-the-new-year/
https://secretpleasuresblog.com/2019/01/07/2019-sex-toys-for-more-pleasure-in-the-new-year/#respondMon, 07 Jan 2019 21:45:14 +0000http://secretpleasuresblog.com/?p=3036Now that we have entered into 2019, how about adding ‘More Pleasure’ to your list of resolutions? Take a look at some of our most popular sex toys and products from 2018 that we’re sure will continue to be a hit into the New Year.

Favorites Through The Years

Intense vibrations, unique designs, and reliable functions: just a few reasons why these favorites have continue to make Top Sex Toy list year after year. Loved by customers and staff alike.

Check out our selection of gift ideas to help make this holiday season a pleasurable one.

Partnered Pleasure:

Spreading joy by sharing pleasure with partner(s)? Our selection for partnered play includes three unique vibes that allow vibration to be shared between partners, a box of fun activities for cool nights in, and a set for those who can’t (or don’t want to) choose just one. Let’s go!

Ten unique items for those looking to bulk up their collection of intimate items in one fell swoop

Features a special edition couples vibe, two unique pocket-sized toys, and enough goodies to properly set the mood

Glimmering Goodies:

Looking to add a little shine and sparkle to your pleasure or surprise a lover with something that will set their eyes alight? Look no further than our picks below for a a few glamorous goods that will do more than just tickle your/their fancy.

Come visit us to get a closer look at some of our unique in-store items or to spark further inspiration.

Happy and Pleasurable Holidays!

]]>https://secretpleasuresblog.com/2018/11/28/gift-of-pleasure-holiday-guide/feed/0Holiday Gift Guide 2018adriengrayspAsk A Sex Educator: Threesomehttps://secretpleasuresblog.com/2018/11/14/ask-an-educator-threesome/
https://secretpleasuresblog.com/2018/11/14/ask-an-educator-threesome/#respondWed, 14 Nov 2018 14:00:42 +0000http://secretpleasuresblog.com/?p=3028Q: “Hello, my boyfriend and I are interested in having a threesome but we have no idea how to approach a person for that. We have fears of STDs and I don’t feel comfortable asking a friend. We need tips on how to ask a person. “

A: So exciting that you and your bf are interested in a threesome! They can be super fun, but require some skills in managing more bodies and more emotions in the mix. Great that you’re reaching out for more info. Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Finding a Third

Whether you’re approaching in-person or online, make sure you’re clear about a few things:

What are the boundaries you and your partner have agreed on? What do you feel safe/not safe doing with a third? What would be hot for you and what might make you feel insecure? Try using a Will, Want, Won’t list – do it independently then come back together and talk about it.

What do you have to offer a third? Lots of couples make the mistake of seeking a third but only thinking about what the third can do for them. The most attractive threesome couples think about what they have to offer a third as lovers, whether that’s only for one night or many.

Are you going to be online? Dating apps like Feeld work well for threesome searchers and there are several websites that allow couples profiles in the mix. Think about writing a profile that is enticing, confident and warm.

2. Sexually Transmitted Infections

Do you know your own sexual health status? Be prepared to talk about the last time you were tested and how you take care of your own sexual health, try not to make the third feel like they are a threat to your safety – talk about STDs/STIs like they are the flu of your genitals, no shame.

Talk with your partner about what you’re both agreeing to for safety – are you using condoms for penetration, oral, anal, sex toys? What skin-to-skin things like HPV and herpes do you need to discuss? How would you feel if you contracted something like Chlamydia or Gonorrhea during a threesome? Get up to date on how sexually transmitted infections are exchanged between people by reading up at Planned Parenthood.

Here are a couple of articles that can help you get some practical tips from searching for a third, to making the threesome less awkward, to being the kind of couple that thirds are attracted to:

If you’d like more support, our friendly Sex Educator Luna Matatas offers Skype sessions to couples who are looking for a threesome to provide coaching to help you from finding the third to talking to them to planning the threesome.