When I was working with my coaching client yesterday, we talked about some of the changes she was making and that fact that good changes can still be hard for some people to deal with.

When it comes to business and being a success in business, you will have to get use to criticism. The right type of criticism can be very helpful and make you better than you thought you could be. On the other hand, if you listen to the wrong kind of criticism, it can actually make things worse.

To that end, it’s important to understand the different types of critics—you need to know who you should listen to and who you should ignore.

There are essentially three types of critics: friendly, indifferent and hostile. Each type of critic has a different agenda and all but one has something good to offer. It’s important to understand and differentiate between these three types of critics so that not only can you quickly identify those whom you should listen to and those who you should ignore, but also so that you can learn to provide criticism yourself in a constructive and useful way.

1. Friendly – People who offer friendly criticism are often your supporters. These people care about you and want you to succeed. They often use criticism to build up the person, not tear them down. They want you to make it in the world and sometimes their ideas are good and sometimes not. You’re more likely to listen to this type of criticism since it comes from known supporters, but remember to ensure that the advice given is fact based or at least reasonable. If you’re not sure, ask someone else what they think. Just because a friend offers criticism doesn’t make it right.

2. Indifferent – People who offer indifferent criticism typically don’t really so much care about hurting your feelings as much as they care about bringing about the truth and facts surrounding an issue. They may be natural objectors who simply like being a sounding board to bring out the different aspects of a situation. They might like to play “devil’s advocate.” It’s important to listen to this type of criticism and also pay attention. Still, you want to use your own good judgment and avoid coming to any hasty conclusions.

3. Hostile – Today, these types of critics are commonly referred to as “trolls.” This type of criticism has no objective reason, or supportive reason. Instead it is designed to demean, attack, control and undermine. You can recognize this type of critic because they are on attack and trying to tear you down. Oddly, you can still benefit from this type of criticism but mostly these are the people you should ignore. If someone is “trolling” you, the best response is almost always no response. If someone is really getting to you, you can always ask your friends what they think. Your supporters and friends will jump in to defend you.

This happened to me last year. Someone that I didn’t know well posted some fairly inflammatory things on Facebook about me (things that weren’t true, by the way). I addressed the issue only a little bit and my friends jumped in and supported me like crazy. As odd as it may sound, seeing my friends and supporters coming to my defense made me almost glad for the troll.

To evaluate criticism, consider the following:

* How true is it? List out the facts of the situation so that you can determine what is really true.

* Should I change it? Some things might be true but they don’t need to be changed because they’re relatively minor or the benefit to them outweighs the cost of changing.

* How can I change it? If some good points have been made, and you decide you want to, what’s the best way to make the change?

* Do I care? If it’s something from a hostile source, do you really care at all what they think?

* How can I make this a positive? Now, how can you take the facts of the criticism and turn it around into a positive? This is my favorite question of all.

In each case you should always listen to the criticism with open eyes and ears without being defensive. Each has its own good and bad points, and while you can ignore the person giving the hostile advice due to their rudeness, do listen to what they say so that you can determine if there is any level of truth. After all, regardless of the reason for the critic to give you advice, as long as there is truth you can profit from it.

I think the most important thing to remember is to be strong, confident in yourself. At the end of the day, whether the criticism is valid or not, it’s important to consider what Teddy Roosevelt said: “It is not the critic who counts….”

I’m scheduled to meet with one of my coaching clients this afternoon. She’s a delightful human being, an entrepreneur with a big heart, and working with her is one of my favorite things I do.

That got me thinking about the nature of business relationships. How the best ones seem to last in a mutually beneficial way. I always tell my colleagues, if it’s not mutually beneficial, it’s not a real relationship, at least not a healthy one. So how do you build a healthy business relationship? Here’s what I think:

* Give Freely – Freely give of yourself to people and they will remember you. Always be thinking, “how can I serve this person?” Zig Ziglar said “you can have everything you want in life if you will just help enough people get what they want.” I think that’s true. And, if you’ve done a good job letting them know what you offer, they’ll come to you when they’re ready. And how do you let them know what you have to offer? My favorite way is what Michael Port calls a “Simple Sales Conversation.” I’ll write more about that soon, but if you have questions, feel free to email me ron@rontester.com.

* Stay Professional – When you’re building relationships, it’s important that you communicate professionally. Whether in person or on social media, you need to keep the things you share business-like, avoiding personal oversharing or inappropriate sharing. And by “professional,” I don’t mean pinging people with sales messages. I mean being careful that you project the image you want your audience to have of you.

One time, I was joking with a friend about something on Facebook, and a mutual friend contacted me and thought that the joking was potentially giving people the wrong impression of me. I hadn’t even thought about it, but when I looked back I could see what she was saying, so I deleted the comments. It’s important that when you’re posting on social media, you’re thinking, “What would the people who are reading this think of me?” If the answer is questionable or less-than-flattering, you should not hit the “publish” button.

* Kill Your Elevator Speech – I don’t like the elevator speech for a whole host of reasons. The best way to share what you do is by having a conversation. That being said, you need to be prepared with a short way of introducing yourself, your business, and what you do for people. Be sure to frame it with the benefits for the client instead of making it all about you.

* Be Honest and Ethical – It can be a dog-eat-dog world out there, and you’ll have to compete with a lot of unethical people. But, keep your own morals and don’t cross those legal and ethical boundaries just to get business. In my area, everyone knows the people that are dishonest or unethical, and we avoid them like the plague. If you gain that reputation for yourself, you will suffer for it in the long run.

* Do What You Say You Will Do – Don’t volunteer to do things you don’t have time to do. If someone asks you to do something and you simply can’t do it due to a time crunch or something, say so. But, when you say you will do it, do it, and do it to the best of your ability.

I learned this the hard way. A couple years ago I volunteered to help someone with a fundraising project I really believed in, but the project turned out to be much bigger and take much more time than I had. Instead of going back to the person and telling them I couldn’t handle it, I just didn’t do the work, at least to the degree it needed to be done. Needless to say, I felt terrible, but I know the person who asked for my help resented that way I didn’t come through for her. That was a painful lesson and I don’t want you to make the same mistake I did.

* Don’t Monopolize Anyone’s Time – We’ve all met the person who talks too much, or the person who doesn’t talk at all, or the person who sticks by one person at an event. Don’t be that person. Instead, learn to converse intelligently and appropriately with a variety of people. Even if it means getting out of your comfort zone, you will build better relationships if you step up and out.

* Be Welcoming – When someone new wants to join a group you belong to, be welcoming and open to them. Sometimes groups can become cliquish, and it can cause serious problems with the group. Not allowing new people in and making them feel like they belong can make a group stagnant.

When I visited one service group for the first time, they looked at me like I was an alien. I didn’t feel welcome at all and it was incredibly awkward. If you want to build good relationships, take the initiative if you’re in a group situation and someone new joins you.

* Listen a Lot – You’ve heard the saying, “You have two ears and one mouth for a reason?” Well, it’s true. Use this as your guide to listen twice as much as you talk. Sometimes talking too much is a sign of nervousness; if you can focus more on what people are saying than what you want to say, you can also calm your nervousness.

Building long-lasting relationships takes time in business and in your personal life. Both have many of the same characteristics for success. Be yourself, be honest, listen, and be helpful. But, don’t overshare or act in an unprofessional manner. If you want business relationships to be fruitful, they have to trust you, so be trustworthy. Tim Sanders says people do business with people they know, like and trust. You can be that person, and the relationships will follow.

If I can be of service to you, please don’t hesitate to email me ron@rontester.com.

This October, I’ll be presenting “Taking an Offline Business Online for Greater Impact” to a group of entrepreneurs. As I’m preparing for that presentation, I thought it might be helpful to share what I believe are some common online marketing mistakes. These are the mistakes I see every day. If you’d like to add others, feel free to comment below.

When it comes to online marketing, I generally see two types of people. Some think they know nothing about it and they’re almost afraid to learn. Others think they already know everything and don’t need to learn anything more. Both of these approaches can work against your success.

It is true that online marketing is not very different from other types of marketing. The tools are different, but the goals and processes aren’t that different. You still need to understand who your audience is, what your product or service is, and know how to explain to your audience why it will solve their problems and why you are the one to offer it.

Here are the most common online marketing mistakes I see:

* Not Sticking to One Brand– Don’t try to be someone different online than you are offline. Don’t try to recreate your brand for every social media network. Keep the same brand image, slightly changed as necessary for each network’s platform and features, but keeping the same colors, values, and ideals as you have on your website. You want your customers to know who you are, no matter where they connect with you.

* Not Watching Your Competitors – You don’t want to copy your competitors, but watching them will help you stay one step ahead of them. It might even alert you to some systemic change in the marketplace if you are paying attention. Be aware of what type of products and/or services your competition provides and be ready to do them one better. Learn from their successes and their failures.

* Not Having a Goal – It’s imperative that for each type of marketing you do, you have a specific goal in mind. I recommend using the SMART goal framework. Whether it’s content marketing, pay-per-click marketing, or social media marketing, having a goal to reach will help you know whether or not you’ve accomplished your mission. Plus it will help you know how to move forward.

* Not Having a Domain Name – Not only should you have a domain name, but you should also have an email @yourdomainname if you want to be taken seriously as a business owner. I have a gmail account I use for personal stuff, but for business it’s ron@rontester.com. You can easily set up your own email address with your webhost provider, sometimes at no additional charge.

* Not Having Diverse and Regular Content – It’s no longer enough to simply put up 500-word blog posts and expect to get a loyal following. Today you need longer blog posts, video, podcasts, infographics, memes and more to ensure that you are reaching all parts of your audience. Everyone learns differently, and it’s your job to educate them in the way they learn best. When it comes to diversity and regularity, I’m a work in progress. This year I’ve started doing more video and it’s paying off with more awareness and engagement.

* Not Having an Email List – It’s surprising how many business owners there are who don’t realize the importance of building an email list for successful online marketing. But it’s true; some people don’t build an email list, and they should. If you aren’t sure how to keep an email list, feel free to reach out to me and I can help with that. If you just need a resource, I recommend Aweber.

* Not Having Well-Written Content – You can’t just slap anything up and expect it to be successful when it comes to content marketing. You need original, unique content that speaks directly to your audience. In addition, you need curated content from other experts which you comment on. I am approached on a fairly regular basis to share content on my blog, and it’s stunning how often what they want me to share is poorly written and needs substantial editing. If you want to be taken seriously, you need to pay attention to the writing.

* Not Focusing on Benefits over Features – It’s tempting to discuss all the features of your product or service instead of the benefits. All marketing messages, even on your “about us” page, need to be focused on your client and how your products or services benefit them. That can be difficult to wrap your brain around sometimes, but it is imperative in order to get more conversions.

Here’s an exercise I recommend everyone go through: 1) write down a feature or your product or service, 2) write down the benefit to your client or customer, and 3) explicitly state “What that means to you.”

For example, one of the features of working with me is that I have been a successful small service business owner for almost 20 years. The benefit to my clients is I actually understand what they’re going through and can guide them to make better decisions. What that means to my client is when they are asked about whether to invest in a new advertising campaign, purchase new technology or hire another salesperson, they can reach out to me and I will walk them through the process so they have peace of mind and confidence that they are making the best decision they can. What I am really offering is peace of mind and confidence.

In summary, don’t be afraid of online marketing, but do take it seriously. I will help you grow your business in ways that can be gratifying and financially rewarding.If you really want to be successful at online marketing, learn from those who have gone before you, and do not try to reinvent the wheel.

If you have questions about how to get started or how to make progress marketing your offline business online, please email me ron@rontester.com. I will be happy to help.