Feeling lost? How to Find Your Way Back.

Ever feel that way? If you do, you’re in good company. I often read posts in which members describe that feeling of being lost, and not sure where to go next.

What about you? Maybe you’ve been chugging along just fine, doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. Everybody around you, including your doctor, doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Your medications doing their work, too.

And then… what happened? You thought the road ahead looked pretty certain. All of a sudden you find yourself wandering around in the weeds!

You’re doing everything you need to do. But something – or someone – isn’t. Not feeling like yourself. Symptoms that you thought you had under control not under control. The news that a medication or treatment doesn’t seem to be doing its job.

Let’s face it. When one aspect of your life suddenly getting out of sync can make your whole life feel like a house of cards. One card got pulled out and now the house is about to go tumbling with the next gust of wind. Another reminder that living with a chronic condition means living with uncertainty.

Maybe the way is clear on what you need to do. But you have a lot of work ahead and you’re not sure if you’re up for it. Or maybe you have no idea what the problem is and, therefore, no idea what to do to fix it.

And so, back to the same conclusion. I’m lost.

Here’s a way to look at life. We’re all winging it. Doing what we think is the right way to get what we need and to be who we want to be for the people we care about. We hope we’ve got the right formula in place and we probably do. At least until we don’t.

And when we don’t, we feel lost. That’s just being human.

Life teaches us that having it all together – all our ducks in a row – can be temporary. On the other hand, so can that feeling of being lost.

Here’s how to find your way again:

First, breathe! I know it feels like the world is caving in on you. But take a deep breath. And then a step back. And open up your mind to what’s possible instead of what’s not possible.

Remember that a setback does not have to be a catastrophe. Your emotions may be telling you that what you are dealing with is the worst possible thing that could happen. Along with lots of scary images of worst possible outcomes. Don’t fall into catastrophic thinking. Yes, this is a setback. Maybe a basketful of setbacks. But that doesn’t mean you can’t recover.

Think of your situation this way: You’re not lost. But you need some new direction. Who knows, this might even be an opportunity to make some positive changes. And a leap forward!

Retrace your steps. I have a really poor sense of direction, and when I get lost, I have found that what helps is to start back to when I thought I knew my way and try to figure out where I got lost. That might mean taking a look at your self-care plan and your treatment regimen to identify any gaps that you weren’t aware of. Or maybe reviewing your knowledge about a medication or a treatment and seeing if you missed a potential side effect or if you need to update your expectations for how it works. This may also be a time to review how you and our doctor have been communicating and see if something didn’t get communicated along the way, or got lost in translation.

Look for direction. And information. Think about who you might reach out to. It might mean talking to your doctor about how your chronic condition is being managed with an eye toward a refresh to get you moving forward. Or a conversation about how you can team up better to help avoid nasty surprises in the future. It might be time to consult some other resources to get some new input on how to take better care of yourself. What you’re eating, for example. Or your activity level.

Get emotional support. Don’t sit with all those feelings. Talk with a trusted listening ear and talk about what’s going on. Vent if you need to. Getting those emotions out will help to clear your mind so that you can look at your situation from a more objective viewpoint. And the person you talk with may offer a perspective you hadn’t considered.

Keep in mind: If that lost feeling doesn’t seem to want to go away, it may be time to have a talk with a mental health professional. Don’t go through this alone.

Feeling lost? Think of yourself as running into an unexpected detour. Stay confident in your ability to find your way back.

Dr. Gary McClain

Gary McClain, PhD is a recognized expert in understanding the emotional reactions to medical diagnosis.

Chronic Communication ℠

Counseling and Workshops

Questions? Ask Dr. Gary

Q: I was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and I am really trying to face up to this condition and maintain my independence. But there are days when I know I need help. My family is telling me that I am being stubborn when all I am trying to do is be a Fighter. When is it time to ask for help?

A: Fighters may have a reputation as the ideal role models but they aren’t always good at seeking out support unless someone shows them how much worse things will be if they don’t.
Fighters often view themselves as so in control of their situation that they can handle every...

Sign up to stay in touch!

Sign up to get interesting news and updates delivered to your inbox.

Email Address

First Name

By submitting this form, you are granting: Gary R. McClain PhD, 80 Eighth Avenue, New York, New York, 10011, United States, http://www.justgotdiagnosed.com permission to email you. You may unsubscribe via the link found at the bottom of every email. (See our Email Privacy Policy for details.) Emails are serviced by Constant Contact.