Mascot fight club

I’m not sure if Tommy Hearns and Marvelous Marvin Hagler are regular viewers of ‘Mad Men’, but assuming they are, I imagine they both had a good, condescending laugh at the lack of pugilistic proficiency displayed by British dandy Lane Pryce and the weasely Pete Campbell during their too-proper conference-room scrape in last Sunday night’s episode. As for me, I was inspired.

Maybe it’s time we all embrace the lesson Pryce v. Campbell taught us: workplace conflicts need to be settled not with our mouths, but with our fists. Hey, it works on ‘Jersey Shore’ and in the Stanley Cup Playoffs – so why shouldn’t the rest of us give it a shot?

Take the NFL mascots. Let’s say next week at the draft, the Atlanta Falcon makes a snarky crack about Jon Cusack’s ‘The Raven’ looks worse than Joe Flacco in a playoff game, the Baltimore Raven could eschew giving the proverbial bird in favor of settling that wiseacre Falcon’s hash with his bare talons.

* Minus the Jet and Charger. Too tough to evaluate. Is the Jet a private plane used to fly around corporate muckity-mucks… or is it Fighter Jet, armed with state-of-art missiles? Big difference. Same goes for the Charger. If it’s some sort of divine lightning bolt, that’s scary. If it’s a cellphone charger, not as scary.