Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Community

Today's entry will be quite short. I have had a very busy day at work, and home long enough to change my clothes, rush my son through his homework, and off to San Jose to watch a basketball game. It will likely be late when I return. If I still have any life left in me at that time I will write something with a bit more thought to it.

What I will share with you right now is that I am so thankful for my readers. If you have found me, then you are part of my circle of support. I will tell you that the circle includes people from around the world. I hope that in time each of you will leave a short message, or hit the "follow" button above this post. That will allow each of you to see who makes up with circle.

Each day that I write, I am sitting here at home amidst the chaos of kids and pets. Sometimes I am able to hide away down into my bedroom, where I have a bit more concentration. Which ever is the case at the time, I do just go deep inside myself, and try to get a sense of what is stirring within. Most days something comes to mind right away, and my typing begins.

When I have completed the days post, I send it off with positive energy, hoping that it reaches someone in need, or that someone will identify with my struggle, and by reading it will send their own healing energy my way. As most bloggers will tell you, we love to read comments. I, myself, also love to see the many visitors each day, and see where each of you are from. It helps me to not feel so alone.

Alone. It's kind of a funny thought for me, as I just mentioned, I am rarely alone here at home. But what I yearn for, what is missing from my life, is that interaction between myself and my spouse. He is no longer here, so I now look to others to help fill that vacancy. Each of you who visit my blog, and read my thoughts, share in filling that vacancy. We cannot all be with someone in person, as we once had, but we can reach out through cyber-space, and build a community.

It's time for me to hit the road. I would rather be putting my feet up and relaxing, but this is what you do for your kids.

7 comments:

I'm proud to be part of your circle and I'm glad to have you in mine. I'm finding the friends I'm meeting through these blogs are becoming so significant to me and instrumental in my healing, bit by bit. Thank you for reminding us all to cherish these valuable connections we are all making. Sending love back to you. I hope you had a great evening with your son.Debbie

sorry, i wasn't on the home keys and it was garbled beyond belief. what i wanted to say was this: but for my daughter and son, all of you here are all i have. your comments are my stars in the sky. i hope your evening at the ball game is fun. peace and love.

I've been blogging for 4 years now - first my nature blog, and when Don died, I stopped that blog and started my current blog which deals with carrying on alone, but also nature, travel, and related topics. Many of the people who read my old blog, followed me to the new one. I think of so many as my friends. In truth, some of them gave me much more support than the "in the flesh" people around me. I've been so glad for that support over the past couple of years. One of the people I met over the net a decade ago and who became good friends to both Don and I, flew across the country the day after Don died, and spent a month helping me to get everything done so that I could leave on my road trip to spend the winter in Arizona. Some of the people I knew "back home" always thought it was weird that I had internet friends. All I can say is that, when Don died, it was those net friends who really came through for me. So, yes, it is a community - and a closer knit one than most people would credit. Hope you had a good night at the game.take care,bev

It truly is a wonderful thing - sad there are so many members of this 'club', and one I wish no others had to join - but as we are here, I'm so thankful we have each other.

As you mentioned, without the comfort of our spouse to turn to and chat with each night before bed, at the dinner table, recapping our day, etc. - it is terribly isolating and lonely. Though it will never replace that relationship, there is so much value in being able to 'speak' to others who understand our grief and hear from them in return.

The day-to-day aspects of parenting in widowhood has been very draining and tedious for me. To add to that mix has been the fatigue of trying to explain to others (those untouched by loss) just what this has been like for me. It has felt like banging my head against a wall.

There has been such a sense of relief to blog and know that I don't have to go into endless explanations. Those I connect with understand without me really having to say any words. And it is equally wonderful to read the post of another and be able to see myself in their words. Just to be able to think, "I'm not the only one" or "I'm not going crazy" is priceless. Equally so, is the opportunity to provide some sort of comfort to another, to feel useful and as though you're making a difference.

I just wanted to add that I really like what you said about sending off your posts with positive energy. I think there is a lot more to this concept than meets the eye. I am beginning to truly believe in the power of prayer and the power of intention. I believe this energy is sent out there by us and that it results in positive good. It may be part of the reason why this cyber-network is so strong and caring. We're all being connected by a greater healing energy!

Well, it certainly stands to reason, doesn't it? Community, I mean. When we were growing up, the people in our life were limited by geographic boundaries, that is, whoever lived closest became friends, because they were there. Whatever we had in common, were things pre-defined mostly by our surroundings like school, Church, the Mall, and our blood relatives--end of story.Today, the internet has opened up the whole country--the whole world in fact, so that we can better find those persons we choose to have near us, as so many of your comments reflect, that closeness you feel is because we're all bonding over issues we cannot find in our neighbors.Just like "Widow-In-The-Middle" points out, "...the fatigue of trying to explain to others untouched by loss..." is something that has no place here, as we are already pre-sorted, and sifted by our own self-selection into the comfort of each others' pre-educated company.The things we can share, the stories we tell, and the comments we leave are all part of the best kind of friendship possible: The mutual kind.In some cases, our loss may be the only thing we share in common, and we might never cross paths in life on any other terms.On the other hand, as in the experience of "Bev" she sort of hit the jackpot and connected in person with a fellow blogger! Way to go Bev!I too am astounded at the benefits I'm coming to know as I see my own interest in blogging grow, and the benefit I see to others as I read your comments. All of you, please feel free to visit my blogs too, as they're new and aren't coming up in searches yet. To see them, just click on my picture, then follow my profile. If you wish, attach yourselves as followers so that the all our blogs have a better chance of reaching more people that may benefit, and perhaps become inspired in the same ways we were.Thanks, and as always, with Love,Bill in NH

SHADES OF BLUE

Lotus

The Lotus Flower grows in the deep mud, far away from the sun. But, sooner or later, the Lotus reaches the light becoming the most beautiful flower ever.

The Lotus flower is regarded in many different cultures –specially in eastern religions — as a symbol of purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration and rebirth. Its characteristics are a perfect analogy for the human condition: even when its roots are in the dirtiest waters, the Lotus produces the most beautiful flower.