A celebration of women bold enough to be...themselves.

“You just may be too sensitive for this.”

I cannot think of any other industry that turns paying customers away because of perceived “sensitivity”. There are some industries that have age limits, and some antiquated establishments that still have gender limits or discriminate according to sexual orientation.

And yet, I have heard from not one, not two, but a few comics – all male, by the way – that I just may be too sensitive to enjoy comedy – or at least certain brands of it. Surprisingly, I have yet to hear that from one OWNER of a comedy club.

And here’s the thing: comics don’t get paid a lot. There are more comics than there are stages. I would think that comics would be trying to BUILD their audiences, not turn them away. And guess what, guys – and yes, this IS aimed at guys because stand-up comedy is still largely dominated by men – women have money to spend too! But you know what? You look around most comedy rooms, and who do you see?

Mostly men.

Do you think women don’t like to laugh? We do. But some of the humor that is flung at us from comics is not only sexist and/or degrading – it’s Just. Not. Funny. It’s often simple and stereotypical.

We ALL know that the best comedy comes from Real Life. How any comic can spend a year or a decade doing material that is simple and stereotypical is beyond me.

Wait – I do know how they get laughs. They get laughs from the small-minded people who buy into stereotypes. But they don’t get laughs from me.

But instead of trying to make their material smarter, they keep doing the same tired stuff. Instead of letting us into their lives like the best writers, actors, and musicians do, they play it safe and tell jokes at the expense of people they don’t know, jokes that offend, jokes that aren’t that funny at all.

Instead of working harder on their craft, they tell me that maybe I’m just too sensitive to enjoy their work.

They alienate women like me – women who WANT to see comedy, who are perfectly willing to spend money on comedy tickets, but don’t want to be disappointed and uncomfortable. And I can say “women” in the plural because I have spoken to many other women on this topic, and heard them speak of feeling uncomfortable, sometimes so much they wanted to leave / did leave / decided not to return.

Chris Rock puts it well: good comedy is not focused on WHAT PEOPLE ARE – it is focused on WHAT PEOPLE DO. Once a comedian realizes this – that the real laughs roll in when they’ve described a funny scenario – then they can have a real career ahead of them – a career to feel proud of. And maybe a more inclusive career, maybe?

So call me sensitive. Call all women sensitive, if you want. But when you do, know that there are many, many women who feel just as I do, but won’t take the time to say it. But it’s fine - there are comics we think are funny, and we’ll wait til they come to town.

And so, dear comedians, just know that every time you make a small-minded, racist / sexist / size-est joke, it reflects on you AND the venue. So for all comedy club owners – unless you are selling out every night, unless you are rolling in dough, then please: push these comics harder. You may THINK that the best judge of a joke is how it lands with an audience; but here’s the thing – many people will laugh because their friend or partner is laughing. Many women will give a nervous laugh. And still others will fake their laugh.

And if you don’t think that women know how to fake a laugh, then the joke really is on you.