Aug 6, 2007

Poachers.

i fucking hate assholes that get in the right turn lane, then when the light turns green they cut everyone off and go straight anyway. its very frustrating when theres a long line of traffic they pass but its almost worse when its just like 2 cars.. like dude, are you fucking serious? for one car length?

when i worked in the city there was one street that i had to go 3 blocks on to get to the bay bridge on ramp. every day this took at least an hour and every day there were what my fellow carpoolers called "poachers" they'd cross the solid white and dart up the last block or two in the right hand turn lane then cut in at the last minute to take the left turning on ramp. motherfuckers, fucking poachers! theres also the jerks that will take an exit and jump right back on to the highway to avoid gridlock.

i dont know how they got that name or what it means but its what i call those asshats now. but one thing i do know is that you have to be aggressive with poachers and not let them back in.

There are too many passive chicken shit drivers that let them in. I know many of you reading this have seen the poachers and maybe even some of you have poached a time or two but from this point on if you see a piece of shit you just saw behind you on the highway getting back on from the last exit you need to ride the ass of the person in front of you so they cant get back on the freeway. or if you see some cunt in the right turn lane noseing in with her left blinker on DO NOT under any circumstances let them over. the more people know about this the better.

On a semi related side note i'd like to include the pricks that fuck up the merge in merging lanes. It's pretty simple people. Its just like a zipper. Two lanes of traffic represent the two toothed sides to your zip up jacket. and the zipper part with the handle is the merge. now what happens when two teeth from one side try to go through the zipper at the same time? thats right! it gets stuck.

Now fuck tards, dont try to speed up to pass more cars or dont try to use the shoulder to pass more. Another huge pet peeve of mine is when people ride the yellow line when they're supposed to be merging. Look you fucker I'm leaving you a WIDE birth so you can get your piece of shit car into the lane. Its like you dont even realise your lane ends!

This is especially bad on the Caldecott Tunnelcommute. The Caldecott Tunnel is a 3 bore tunnel that goes through the oakland/berkeley hills. Being that its 3 bores means that part of the day eastbound traffic has 2 tunnels, while West bound has one.

so in the afternoon, usually counter commute time, the westbound 4 lane highway gets merged down to 2 lanes into the single bore. Miles ahead of time there are signs warning that the two left lanes end and that you need to merge right. As you can imagine traffic builds up pretty bad. I think this is due mainly to poachers. The fuckers that refuse to merge and ride the left lanes all the way to the cones and cut in at the last minute. this is a very prevelant spot for the exit/onramp poachers too.

Helpful hints:My best suggestion is to do as the sign says. Merge right to the last right lane that isnt an exit only lane. it will be slow but worth it. just hang back and ride it out. if you stay in the more left lanes you have to deal with people trying to cut in and it sucks. while the trill of preventing poachers to get it is tantalizing, this lane IS a merge lane and the slowdown isnt worth it. Once you get passed the exit lane section lots of people (poachers) will take the exit for (i think its the Shakespeare fest road or something) and try to get back on. Traffic will speed up after the exit but then gets shitty again when they try to get back in. the plus side tho is that now, youre in the right lane and you can stop them from entering. Although what to do is, stop poachers until the 2 left lanes have fully merged then get over one to the left. Now theres no more merging or poaching and its smooth sailing to the tunnel.

extra side note.. coming back east bound even when theres 2 bores, and no less lanes than the freeway, for some reason people flip out and slow down. its fucking retarded. its just a tunnel people.