Well this has transpired more or less how everyone figured it would. That’s fine with me. I’m more interested in seeing a 10-loss NFC South champ than the Packers being upset tonight.

Packers had a remarkably easy opening drive touchdown. Green Bay fans naturally called for John Kuhn to vulture the short touchdown. Instead, the honor went to James Starks.

Atlanta, to their credit, responded with a similarly impressive opening drive. Julio Jones had three catches for 45 yards, leading to a four-yard Steven Jackson TD run. And thought would be the end of Atlanta being competitve.

Late on the following drive, Aaron Rodgers scrambled on a 2nd and goal from the 7. He advanced to the 2, opting not to slide and getting stripped as he went to the ground. The ball bounced back toward a down Rodgers, but it looked like a Falcons defender might have recovered. Either way, Mike Smith felt no need to challenge it. Atlanta incurred an unnecessary roughness penalty for a late hit while Rodgers was on the ground. That gave Green Bay a first down at the 1 and they easily converted with the touchdown that Lacy got vultured on their first scoring drive.

Atlanta ceased matching scoring drives and that’s when things quickly fell apart. Green Bay got a field goal on its next drive to go up 17-7. Matt Ryan threw the laughable interception you see above. Only that pick he threw against the Lions keeps this from being his worst of the year.

The Packers, naturally, exploited the short field for Rodgers first touchdown pass of the game. He got another, to Jordy Nelson, because the half was over. The Falcons threatened to get back on the board, with a field goal attempt as the half expired, but the kick was blocked.

Can we choose to focus on the positive of a snow game? Let’s try to do that because oh no – goddamn Favre is back. We couldn’t go one full season without a will-he-or-won’t-he story involving Brett Favre, even if it only means appearing at a game instead of playing in one.

I’m willing to believe that, even if it’s clear that Bart Starr isn’t healthy, the NFL dispatched the Land Baron to Green Bay just so the media would have something other to talk about besides what a certain blowout tonight will be.

Lucky for Atlanta that Carolina was the only NFC South team to win on Sunday, alleviating a great deal of pressure on the Falcons to win. I mean, yes, a victory would be huge for Atlanta tonight, but it will likely require several fluky turnovers/Aaron Rodgers getting hurt for that to happen. Hell, if the Falcons can beat the Packers in Lambeau, they should win the NFC South outright on the spot.

They get Roddy White back in the lineup after he missed last week, so at least we can say the full complement of talented receivers will be on hand this evening.

So this is what it’s like to watch the early games on the West Coast, huh? It would take some getting used to my part. As it is, we’ve got 14 hours of football ahead. Whether you stick with us the whole way or just check in from time to time, be a dear and grab me a drink from a fridge. Uproxx has bolted me in place and threatened my family if I try to move.

If not for Detroit’s problem not being able to find a serviceable kicker, they’d have won five in a row coming into Week 8. As it is, the Lions have won two straight and look to go into the bye with their best start since 2011, their only playoff season since 1999.

Since destroying the Falcons Buccaneers on Thursday night in Week 3, Atlanta has lost four straight games by a margin of at least two scores. The worst of those was last Sunday when they were crushed 29-7 by the Ravens in Baltimore. Lucky for them, they’re in the AFC South, where a 2-5 record is potentially a win away from being back in the mix for the division title.

The Falcons offensive line is having critical issues. So this is the perfect time for them to face the Lions devastating front seven, which is basically carrying the team to a possible playoff run. There was a chance Megatron would go, but both he and Reggie Bush are listed as inactive for today. Welcome news for the Lions since certain Nugget Barons are convinced that having an amazing receiver is somehow bad for your football team.

One thing you learn from knowing Ravens fans as well as I do, other than the vast array of things purple camo can be emblazoned on, is that Baltimore fans have a bizarrely intense loathing of Matt Ryan. Evidently, they don’t like it that media people occasionally say nice things about the only quarterback selected above His Eliteness Joe Flacco in the 2008 Draft. “Stop saying their blandly effective quarterback is better than our blandly effective quarterback, hon!” Honestly, I don’t even think Falcons fans have any sort of noticeable feelings about Matty Ice and he might be the best quarterback in the franchise’s history.

/gets bum rushed by a group of people who still wear Vick Falcons jersey

You’re the only ones who care about Matt Ryan, Baltimore fans. Congrats!

With Megatron and A.J. Green are reportedly both out for the next few weeks (Calvin Johnson tested his ankle on the field this morning but still remains questionable), there’s a noticeable dearth in awesome receivers playing in this slate. Luckily for the Lions, they can continue to rely on their front seven to keep their offense from having to do too much. As much as it’s been warranted to call New Orleans old and busted through five weeks, a win today coupled with a Carolina loss in Green Bay (a not improbable scenario) puts them back atop the suddenly dogshit NFC South.

The highlight of the slate is Bengals/Colts, a vicious battle to see who gets the be the top AFC division winner not to secure a first-round bye. After playing like a viable contender the first three weeks, Cincinnati has resumed Bungling it up the last two games. I’d like to think they can bounce back this week, but that could also be my desire to see a AFC South team win the division with a 8-8 or 9-7 record. Fair chance a Bengals player is forced to return to the game after sustaining a concussion this week after Marvin Lewis said the media makes head injuries seem worse.

The Bucs now long for the days of the comforting infection of MRSA. Schiano Men knew how to lose terribly with GUMPTION!

The game started with Matt Ryan getting something in his eye from the pregame intro pyro. Eye drops were applied and it seemed for a second like it might be a thing. It didn’t seem to adversely affect him, as three Ryan completions got Atlanta in the red zone. Two plays later, Ryan found Harry Douglas on a rollout for a three-yard touchdown pass.

From there, the points kept coming. After trading possessions, the Falcons moved the ball easily again and pushed their lead to 14-0 with a Julio Jones TD catch. Josh McCown is already out of the game due to a right thumb injury, but his play warranted removal anyway. McCown threw a pick-six to Kemal Ishmael to make it 21-0.

The Bucs turned it over again on a Bobby Rainey fumble. That led to a Devin Hester end-around scoring his first rushing touchdown of his career. Soon later, he’d be taking his punt return in for a score to break Deion’s career TD returns record.

Atlanta finally punted the ball for the first time with 3:29 left in the second quarter. Mike Glennon took over to lead Tampa to know points. The Falcons almost added another field goal just as the half expired but it was just wide. They’ll need those points. If any quarterback can erase a 35-point halftime deficit, it’s this dude:

The best I can say about this week’s Thursday Night Football is at least it doesn’t involve a team currently embroiled in a national scandal. The bad news is it’s not a terribly compelling matchup. Though we do get to find out what musical intro CBS threw together at the last minute to replace Rihanna after the singer lashed out at the network earlier this week. That’s…something!

So far the Lovie Smith regime in Tampa has seen the team lose to the likes of Derek Anderson and Austin Davis. Anderson was one thing, but at least he was under center with a team that was in the playoffs last year with an awesome defense. There’s really no Tonight must be really exciting as it’s their first chance to lose to a starting quarterback in the 2014 season, even if it is Matt Ryan. Oh no, they’re just as bad now that they’re no longer Schiano Men covered in MRSA. There was a report this week that Brian Urlacher might join the Bucs in the coming weeks, meaning Lovie’s mission to reunite the 2008 Bears is still alive and kicking.

Somehow, the decision to trust Josh McCown to be a franchise quarterback hasn’t worked out famously through two weeks. McCown had an impressive 2013 season letting Alshon Jeffery and Brandon Marshall make amazing catches for him. With Vincent Jackson and Mike Evans, McCown still has the tall targets but the results aren’t there through two games. Jackson only has 87 yards. It’s early but he only had two worse two-game stretches in 2013. Oh, and Doug Martin is inactive tonight.

Atlanta started the season with a mild upset at home over the Saints in which Matt Ryan played well enough to be our Meast for the week. Then the Falcons proceeded to travel to Cincinnati and got dominated by the Bengals while Ryan threw three interceptions. There’s no shame in losing to Cincy on the road (unless it’s the playoffs) and the Falcons are back home where they played well two weeks ago, so it should be fair to assume they should be able to handle Tampa.

In six seasons under head coach Mike Smith and G.M. Thomas Dimitroff, the Falcons salvaged Roddy White, groomed Matt Ryan, landed Tony Gonzalez in his prime and sold the house for Julio Jones. That wins you 5 Super Bowls in a 7-on-7 league, but concerns in niche areas like “pass protection” and “run blocking” and “the whole goddamn defense” have somewhat muted the success of this franchise

That and the bore-you-to-tears play calling. No self-respecting Atlanta fan wants to admit this, but the fantasy of Sean Payton calling plays for Atlanta’s offensive weapons is a tawdry, forbidden fantasy we allow ourselves now and again. Dirk Koetter replaced Mike Mularkey as offensive coordinator to much acclaim, but that’s only because he calls screen passes. Oh my! /blushes

To compensate for last year’s 4-12 implosion, Atlanta hired another G.M. ostensibly to just evaluate line talent, and then spent their first round pick on tackle Jake Matthews. He’s now plugged in as a Week 1 starter on the left side because of the freshly re-injured Sam Baker, premiere false start machine and a former first round pick from USC. He’s the Matt Lienart of first round USC lineman busts, but that’s a comparison that makes you feel like you’re being too hard on Matt Lienart, which in turn is another reason to hate Baker.

Dimitroff is almost prescient in his ability to create the worst ROI possible on veteran free agent signings. Remember Ray Edwards? Dunta Robinson? Of course you don’t, because you’re not a Falcons fan. The current flavor is Steven Jackson, who spent 2013 nursing a hamstring and notching a career-low 3.5 yards a carry behind the aforementioned putrid line. He’s already injured heading into ‘14, so expect rookie Devonta Freeman to permanently win the starting job no later than Week 5.

Defensively this team is finally committed to playing a 3-4 with actual 3-4 personnel, except with a lot of rookies and no safeties. The Falcons don’t really have safeties and didn’t sign any top free agent safeties. Just… didn’t. The best linebacker on the roster is Sean Weatherspoon, and he’s out for the year. Osi Umenyiora is still the best chance this team has to pressure passers like Drew Brees, but he’s being saved exclusively as a third down option due to age. He’s the Steven Jackson of the defense!

These are all the bad things. The one good thing – the best thing – is that Ryan can throw the ball very well to the best pair of receivers in the league. Expect White to move into the slot this season and replace the retired Gonzalez. The most interesting storyline of training camp should be the 3 and 4 WR spots, but ceaseless major injuries across the roster feel like we’re just prepping for another 2013 season.

The Falcons will always have a chance at the playoffs if Ryan, Jones and White are all healthy and have time, but without some kind of revelation on defense they’ll never win the title needed to substantiate this franchise.

Via reader Chris: Charlie Weis at a Bon Jovi concert thronged by women with suggestive shirts. Though I’m pretty sure Weis is more into women who love blue cheese instead of blow jobs.

— The Jets are hellbent on ruining Geno Smith by doing to him what they did to Tebow, which is okay since he never really had a chance anyway by dint of landing with the Jets.

— Cam Newton admitted to still being an Atlanta Falcons fan. Between this and Kaepernick wearing a Dolphins hat, it’s probably safe to assume every QB is a secret mole for another franchise. BRADY ONLY LOST THOSE SUPER BOWLS BECAUSE HE LOVES THE GIANTS! YOU CAN’T PROVE I’M WRONG!

— Meanwhile, Matt Ryan was photographed holding a Luke Kuechly jersey even though OH NOES Kuechly is a Panthers player, albeit one who just happens to have gone to the same college as Ryan. But whatevs, right? Totally treason.

Conan O’Brien is taping in Atlanta this week. A great way to pander to the locals is praising their sports teams. In this case, it means having assistants shove jersey smocks of each local team on him. If he looks awkward in the GIF, it’s because he’s wearing his clothes and multiple jerseys. Also, because it’s Conan O’Brien. Hopefully they make a swing through Cincinnati as Conan in an Andy Dalton jersey would make sense by virtue of gingers.

Darnell Sanders is a former tight end who played in the NFL for three unexceptional seasons. That’s nice because it makes a hilariously stupid video at least tangentially relevant to this site. Anyway, Sanders is trying to qualify for the CrossFit Games and made this video to announce himself as the fittest man on Earth, so long as you disqualify a bunch of exercises that he sucks at. BULEEEE DAT!

— Florio got into a pitched Twitter fight with NFL PR man Greg Aiello about why Lauren Silberman was allowed to take part in a regional combine, not because she is a lady but because she’s not especially qualified for a tryout. Long story short: Aiello goes back on a previous position and even when Florio is in the right he comes off like a jackass.

— Ed Reed sang “Two Tickets to Paradise” throughout the Ravens Super Bowl run and yesterday finally got to do a duet with Eddie Money. Shocking that Eddie Money was available for that, or anything, at any time. He’ll let you pay to watch Tiki Barber plow him.