It's a rainy day and The Settlers are sitting in their living room watching TV, when the son asks "Pa, I know we settle for cable, but DIRECTV has been number one in customer satisfaction over cable for 15 years." The father answers "How about over 15 satisfying years with that woman over there, boiling your clothes? Her layers and layers of layers. Hair that I've rarely seen because it's always under that bonnet. And how she fought off that grizzly and made him into these slippers. That's satisfaction, son." "Don't be a settler. Get a $100 reward card when you switch to DIRECTV."