Teen Mom: The Definitive, Tragically Trashy Tattoo Guide!

If you’re a fan of Teen Mom, then you know that many of the people on the show have tattoos.

You also know that a lot of the tattoos … well, they aren’t that great.

Some are poorly done, some are just kind of strange, and some are nightmarish and horrifying and just so completely, unbelievably bad.

So steady yourself, perhaps grab some smelling salts and some pearls to clutch, and let’s check out all the Teen Mom ink we can get our eyes on!

1. Amber’s Tattoo of Leah

Here, let’s just start with the worst of the worst, all right? This is Amber Portwood’s portrait of her daughter, Leah. It’s right on her stomach, it also features a gigantic rose, and it’s not finished. Will she ever get it finished? It’s hard to say. We will ever be able to get this haunting image out of our heads? Unlikely.

2. Choices

Since we’re already talking about Amber’s tattoos, she also got this matching tattoo with Matt Baier, back when they first started dating. It reads “vero amore,” which is supposed to be Italian for “true love.” So that’s embarrassing.

3. Speaking of Embarrassing …

Matt also has this huge tattoo of Amber’s name right on his forearm. Just right there on his arm where he has to look at it all day, every day.

4. Ugh

Matt actually has several tattoos, many of which you can see on his nude book cover. We won’t waste more time on him here, so if you feel the need to look more closely at his naked greasy bod here, then you have our blessing. However, we will say that on his other arm, he has a couple of Chinese characters that he says mean “clean and sober,” but that Teen Mom detectives have actually determined mean “Lisa.”

5. Why Though?

As hard as it may be to believe, Matt isn’t the only guy to get Amber Portwood’s name tattooed on his body — Gary Shirley made the exact same mistake. Thankfully he was smart enough (???) to get the tattoo on his shoulder instead of on his forearm though, and he’s since covered up.

6. It’s Gary Time

Gary also has a … what is that, a sun? A blob with tentacles? Whatever it is, he’s also got some tattoo right in the middle of his chest, peeking out through all his body hair.