You’ve probably heard the saying (or a version of it) that trust is like a mirror, once it is shattered it can be put back together but never truly repaired. Side note: I think my favourite version is Gaga in her ‘Telephone’ video –

The only problem I have with that explanation of trust/ broken trust is that it’s always led me to believe that, and expect that, my trust would always be shattered in a big way. Like the person would pick up our shared mirror and smash it like a plate at Greek wedding but that isn’t always what happens. Sometimes it’s little chips over time until one of these chips is so big that it causes a ripple effect and you find yourself unable to see your reflection in the mirror, or be able to trust the person who’s mirror it is.

Part of being friends with someone is being able to rely on each other; to trust them. You should know whole heartedly that they won’t run off and tell someone what you said, they should know you enough to know the things that shouldn’t be shared. You should be able to know that some things are only shared between you; some things aren’t meant to be shared. What is possibly even worse than sharing private thoughts and feelings is sharing thoughts and feelings with a twist – sharing a fabricated, sometimes exaggerated, version of the truth. You shouldn’t have to watch what you say to your friends, you shouldn’t have to have your guard up. Should you?

How can you be friends with someone you can’t trust?

Are we, or rather am I, too quick to call people my ‘friend’?

A couple of years ago someone who I definitely do trust called me out on how much I use the word ‘love’. I didn’t ever ‘like’ it, I always ‘loved’ it. It was a great observation, and made me realise that I DID use the word ‘love’ too much. Perhaps the same could be said of the word ‘friend’, perhaps I use it too freely, perhaps I use it too much, or too quickly.

Perhaps the word ‘friend’, like the word ‘love’, should be used sparingly.

xoxo

M

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One thought on “Trust.”

I can understand your point of view and somewhat relate to what you have written. I also struggled with the idea of being friends with someone you can’t trust or even being friends with someone after that trust was broken, shattered, burnt. I believe that friends, true friends, will stand by your side, fight with you and not against you, will cross the burning desert for you if necessary, but they should also make you see when you are wrong and call you out on that. A friend, a true friend can not allow him(her)self to betray you and your trust and expect you not to feel hurt. Life teaches us the hard way, teaches us that most of the people we call friends (I used to make that mistake a lot, now I am more cautious) do not follow the same concept of friendship that you do, unfortunately.
I once wrote, You don’t speak love, you don’t think love, you just feel love. I guess friendship shoud be the same.
I hope you will find the answers that you need and also hope that no one else chips away bits from your mirror.