As parents we only seek the best for our children and wish they lead a happy and successful life. Unfortunately, at times we are sceptical whether we can always make them reach those two goals at the same time.

It is a fact that the children’s well-being begins with the parents’ well-being. Although our children bring an innate potential when they born, it develops well only if stimulated And here the parents play have a fundamental role. Did you know that it is possible to predict whether a couple has a healthy relationship through a urine test of their children? It is also possible to predict, 25 years in advance of what the mental health of a child will be, based only on how the parents share information with the child in his initial years of life.

Parents are indeed responsible for the well-being their child and although they cannot control the rest of the environment that surrounds the child, there is something that they can, and should, control which is their own personal well-being.

Have you observed as to why a flight attendant tells us, in case of accident, to put the oxygen mask before helping anyone? That’s because if we are not stable, we cannot help others, may that even be a child we love. Likewise each parent is required to stop and realize that first that they have to help themselves, so that they can then help others. This is not selfishness, but a conscious fact.

Now, how can parents work on their well-being? And please note that we’re talking about an integral and holistic concept, not about a quick emotion state, like joy. Before we move forward, please grab a pen and a paper.

Many authors argue that each one of us is composed of four key areas (please write them on a paper):

- Physical;
- Mental;
- Socio-Emotional;
- Spiritual.

Using a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is “I’m very badly” and 10 is “I’m very well,” please rate yourself in each area. I’m going to ask you some questions below, in order to help you in your reflection process.

Physical:
Do you have a balanced and healthy diet? And a active lifestyle? Are you sleeping well? Do you make pauses during the day in order to relax?

Mental:
How is the quality of your thoughts? Are you most of the times “present” or do you spend time worrying about the future and/or “ruminating” about the past? Do you set goals for what you are looking to achieve? Have you learned new things in the last days?

Socio-Emotional:
Are you satisfied with the quality of your relationships (family, love, friendships, etc.)? Are you doing activities that give you pleasure? Are you “playing” with life? When was the last time you laughed out loud?

Spiritual:
Are you being faithful to your values? Have you done something on your legacy, on the way you want to be remembered in the future? Do you spend time in nature or in activities that enable you to contact with something larger than yourself (eg. volunteer work)?

Now that you’ve reflected, did you find out some areas that need more attention? If I ask you to think about one little action that you can start doing to improve it, even only one point in the scale, what would you choose? What about starting with it? If you’re saying that you don’t have the time, remember that someday time will not have you.

And this is a decision not only affects you, but affects all the people that surrounds you, including your children. And please remember also that all four areas are important, without exception, because all relate in a dynamic equilibrium. Thus, a problem with one of them will affect inevitably the others.

Now that you are more awake and aware, which do you choose?

To take responsibility for your well-being (and that of your children), or “look the other side” as if it were nothing related to your responsibility?

As usual great material! Although we never actually know this, we need to be well in order to help others. This simple and fundamental truth is sometimes missed in this world in which the only real “emotion” and the only true value seems to be the search of pleasure.

I hope that more get the message and as a whole race make a radical change in our way of being.

Martin

Pedro Garcia Lopes said on October 13th at 11:25 am:

Vasco:
Thank you for your article!
Is good to see that your excellent work that You have made in Portugal for the last years, is now being spread all over the world.
I wish you all the best!
Pedro