Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Many partings

Well, here is the blog post I've been dreading to write just as much as the one in December when my finances were at an all-time low just before what I think were the worst holidays I've ever had. But this time it's not about finances keeping me from paying an MMOG subscription. It's not about me losing interest in PvP. It's not even about me wanting to play games other than EVE. Far from that.

I need a break.

I'm not talking about a short 1-2 week break because I've been staying up late on ops and stuff. I need a major break from anything related to computer gaming. I still don't know how some people manage having tons of stuff to do in and out of a game, any game, and still have time for real life stuff like taking care of a home, kids, and activities that don't require people to sit countless hours in front of a computer screen getting a massive dose of pixel radiation. I've tried agendas, doing chores before playing, etc. But I always end up playing way too much for my own good and I've stopped counting the times I've gone to bed in the wee hours of the morning at times when I'm supposed to be getting up for work 2-3 hours later. In short, I need a self-imposed form of therapy because these days, just watching the EVE game UI is making me want to punch a hole right through my screen, but that would get expensive and messy.

So tonight after I get home I will be dropping my corporation roles and turning off EVE for a good while, and I don't know exactly when I'll come back to it but I HAVE to disconnect. Technically my character will still be alive and kicking as I'll keep the account going so I'll still get some training done. But 4-hour plus ops? Or staying online from the time I get home at 5h15PM until 2AM the next morning? Not for a very long time thanks very much.

And what do I plan to do? Last time I wrote this kind of post I talked about all the games that I hadn't played in a long time, but this time around I see things differently. I need to put aside gaming and get back into music in a serious way. I need to see friends and family that I haven't seen in much too long. When the weather will permit I need to get on my bike and get back into shape and see some sights. And last and most important, I need to give even more time to the two boys I dearly love and who need their dad to be present as they're growing up.

As I've said in December, I will probably keep this blog going, if maybe a tad less regularly, because while it started by being about my parallel life in EVE, this blog is really about me, Benoit. It's the first time I really pour my thoughts out for everyone to see but regardless of what anyone thinks about them I find it to be an excellent form of pressure valve.

So as I go back to the Clown Punchers forums to see the effects of the little A-bomb I dropped in there this morning, I'd like to thank all the readers and bloggers that have come by my site over the past year, and I wish all of you the best, in or out of game.

To the Bozos: I know some of you may be angry at me for doing this at such a time but believe me, this is something I need to do. It has been a total honor to have learned the ropes of PvP with you guys. I don't think I could have learned from a better bunch of people, and I promise that I will apply all that knowledge if/when I do get back to the game. Will we be red to each other next time we meet? Most assuredly. Will I flee from you if I meet you in local somewhere in New Eden? Hell no! I will meet you in combat to the best of my abilities. But that said, losing against the likes of Bozo would be better than winning against alliances who flee from fights even when they have the advantage of numbers and home turf. So I wish you guys success in all your endeavors, and do continue to spread chaos wherever your fleets go.

Coz, no one who plays Eve with any dedication at all can fail to understand the difficulties of keeping it balanced with real life. You are making a good decision, however much you'll be missed in game or will miss the game yourself. I look forward to your blog posts whenever you choose to make them. Fly safe in the real world, dear.