Tag Archives: Viras

Alright! Who’s ready for Gamera Part 7?! Nobody? Why are we even doing this anymore? C’mon you guys, look alive, we got two more Showa era giant turtle movies, and this one is actually pretty good… Sorta… Comparatively… You know what, just try to have a good attitude.

THE PLOT~ It’s been almost two years since a hostile alien race has attempted to invade the Earth, but worry not, because the sea dwelling people of the planet Zigra are here to pick up the slack, as well as to provide Gamera something he can horrendously maim the shit out of, as he is wont to do. It’s the circle of life. Anyway. The Zigra economy must be in trouble, because when their spaceship (Which looks like a crown full of jelly beans) finally lands on Earth, it’s got exactly two occupants, and one is just a brainwashed Earthling who has been made to do Zigra’s bidding. The other is a giant swordfish monster, which seems to be sleeping… This is not really much of an invasion, but hey, they’ve got an Earthquake machine, and they’re pretty good at hypnotizing people. You know what, they’re doing their best. Give them a break.

Anyway… So, the Zigras show up and kidnap four humans, two of which are our token duo of ethnically diverse preteens, so you know we’ll be spending a lot of time with them later. Then the aliens blast Earth with some heavy duty Earthquakes that really spook everyone, but which don’t really appear to cause much damage. The reason for kidnapping four Earthlings? Well, after Earth gets its shit quaked, our kidnapees are asked verify to the rest of mankind that yes, aliens did this, and yes, they’ll do it again if we don’t cooperate. I guess they thought we’d only believe it if it came from one of our own? These aliens don’t seem to understand that all humans are liars, and this is common knowledge. Anyways, it doesn’t matter, because the kids foil the alien plan and escape just in time for Gamera to show up and destroy the hell out of the alien spaceship, because he knows his role, and he owns it. Without his ship to hide in, our alien swordfish monster is exposed to Earth’s atmosphere, which in turn causes him to grow into an even more giant, Gamera-sized, alien sword fish monster… because of atmospheric pressure? The science is sound.

Our two kaiju briefly throw down, and Gamera somehow winds up paralyzed, at which point he topples over into the ocean upside down like an idiot. REALLY feels familiar, doesn’t it? Probably because we’ve seen this a thousand times before. Gamera has a long legacy of getting his ass kicked early on, which leaves him out of commision for the entire second act of his fucking movies, only to then come back strong in the third act and save the day. Apparently, we must save Gamera before he can save us. Guess how we manage to pull that off this time? If you guessed “children in a submarine,”, then you’re right on the money. This submarine sequence is middle of the road, it’s more entertaining than the one from Gamera Vs. Viras, but less entertaining than the one from Gamera Vs. Jiger. The mini-sub we have winds up crapping out on us, stranding our would be junior heroes in the path of certain doom, but “children in peril” is all you had to say if you wanted to rouse a slumbering Gamera. As if motivated by instinct alone, Gams quickly springs to, and decides to mount a mission to rescue his rescuers, so he can then rescue them again. This part is actually kinda funny, but possibly on accident. Zigra is sleeping for some reason (Why are Daiei’s monsters always sleeping?!) and Gamera kinda sneaks up on him and throws a rock, to make sure his opponent isn’t about to wake up. He doesn’t. Coast is clear. Apparently comfortable with the situation, Gammy then slowly sneaks a little closer to the sub, and reaches for it, drawing back cautiously for fear of somehow waking up his slumbering fish-foe. This sort of feels like a Kaiju equivalent of Indiana Jones trying to swap the idol for a bag of sand in Raiders of the Lost Ark, and I really like it. I love it, in fact. Weird shit like this is when Gamera really shines.

So, Gambo manages to burgle the bathyscaph, and saves his human pals, but not without having to confront Zigra once more. There’s a pretty decent battle, during which Gamera winds up lodging a boulder on Zigra’s sword snout, thereby compromising his sense of balance and causing him to topple over, immobilized and helpless. This is where things get weird. Gamera hefts a boulder off of the beach and bashes it against Zigras spikes, In effect, playing his beaten foe like a damn xylophone. He apparently really enjoys this, as is evident by the subsequent joyful monster jig that he performs after he wails on Ziggy for a while. Yep! I sorta wonder if spending several hours unconscious with his head submerged in water changed Gamera in some way… I think maybe it’s sort of like what happened with Gary Busey. LIke, yeah… He’s back… But…

But he’s not so different that he could possibly resist annihilating his foe in a gruesome display of monster violence. Gamera hosts Japan’s biggest ever fish fry and lets Zigra have it with some of his fiery turtle breath, which leaves him d-e-a-d dead. You know, as humble as these Daiei films are, they never let their focus on entertaining children distract them from whats really important; graphic depictions of monster violence. It’s actually one of the most awesome things about Gamera, these films simultaneously became more youth centric, and more gory. It’s clear that Daiei wasn’t afraid to traumatized youngsters, and in fact, likely saw the value in making sure kids weren’t coddled in a universe of puppy dogs and pillow forts. Occasionally, they need to see something they love get mutilated. It’s just good child rearing, and it’s missing from movies nowadays. We’re all weaker and more feeble minded for it.

Anyway, this one is actually pretty good, and thank goodness, because the next film in the Gamera franchise is widely known to be a stinker of the harshest, most regrettable magnitude. The preceding two or three films weren’t really home runs, either, so a halfway decent afternoon with Gamera really hits the spot right about now. Truthfully, this was a hard time for just about every film studio in Japan, and their creative output suffered across the board as a result. This movie is certainly a little more humble than what we saw Godzilla doing over in Toho Town around this time, but it isn’t really shittier. It feels like maybe this one last time, Daiei finally caught some traction. Some weird, crappy traction.

If you’re a fan of the Gamera franchise, then by this point you’re aware that kaiju cinema is all about rehashing cliches, and you’re either going to be okay with that, or you’re not. Gamera Vs. Zigra does nothing new, but it is fun, and Gamera’s crumminess remains as endearing as ever. It’s too bad this couldn’t have been his Showa swan song, but very few of us are privileged enough to go out on a high note.

Just when Daiei was doing so well with it’s Gamera franchise, it farts out this bellow average embarrassment, a lousy Gamera Part IV which relies heavily on recycled footage from previous Gamera films to fatten up it’s run-time. This is done so extensively that it’s really hard not to think of Gamera Vs Viras as a bit of a rip off, Which is a shame because he was just starting to win me over like only a mammoth, city demolishing turtle beast from Atlantis can. What am I supposed to do now?!

THE PLOT~ The movie opens with a super bizarre looking alien craft cruising up on Earth, looking to get in on some of that sweet, interplanetary-conquest action, but then the aliens see Gamera zooming around in space and completely freak the fuck out. Gamera kills them all, because apparently that’s his thing now, but not before the aliens manage send a distress signal back to planet dumb ass stressing the importance of Gamera awareness. Good looking out, you stupid, alien buttholes.

Meanwhile, in Japan, we meet our main characters, Jim and Masao, two young boys who are members of the Japanese wing of the Boy Scouts… Did you even know they had friggin’ Boy Scouts in Japan? They totally do, and they seem to be way cooler than the American Boy Scouts, because they’ve got chicks, for one, and also they chill with Gamera and work to repel alien invasions, so you can take your Pinewood Derby and shove it up your ass, America. Japan does the Boyscouts right. Anyway, upon meeting our two mischievous preteens, they waste no time in getting into some seriously ridiculous hi-jinks; first, they sabotage a small submarine within ten minutes of their introduction. Next, they’re partying with Gamera less than thirty minutes into the picture, and finally, towards the end of the movie, they manage to sabotage` the alien spacecraft and save the day, which is a crucial moment in the defense of Earth. Long story short, Moonrise Kingdom has nothing on these intrepid junior outdoorsmen, they deserve hella merit badges for this shit.

But earlier in the movie, before Jim and Masao save the world, the alien conqueror people do indeed send a second spaceship to Earth after Gamera chows down on the first one. This time the galactic interlopers get right down to the task of figuring out just who this Gamera chap is, anyway, and after some investigation, they see what’s going on here; Gamera is mighty, but he does have one weakness; “his pronounced and unconditional love of children.” Naturally, they deploy Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC immediately.

Hey, Gamera, why don’t you have a seat over there?

Also, though, they kidnap Jim and Masao, and keep them prisoner aboard their craft as a bargaining chip in case the United Nations thinks they can get away with nuking the weird series of striped orbs they dare to call a spaceship.

Behold; a spacecraft which can share the frame with a gigantic, jet propelled turtle monster and still manage to be the most ridiculous thing visible.

Finally, just for good measure, they use their far out space Martian technology to brainwash Gamera and send him on a smashing spree. This chunk of the film is especially compromised by Daiei’s cheapskate-stock-footage recycling scheme, as we are made to trudge through a replay of the first three movies for what must be at least twenty minutes, and I would call that totally unacceptable. Some of this reused footage is BLACK AND FUCKING WHITE, because it comes from Gamera’s first movie, and that’s just embarrassing. Have you no shame, Daiei?!? What were you damn thinking!? It’s also badly distracting to see actor Kojiro Hongo, who in this movie plays a Scoutmaster to Jim and Masao, clearly visible playing different characters in this older footage, and I would say that this shameful fumble hurts the film nearly as badly as the sudden and unexplained disappearance of all color from the universe. Daiei- you suck for what you have done here.

In the end, the boy’s fuck up the surprisingly easy to sabotage spaceship and all the aliens reveal their true form- weird, pointy squid monsters, which is a lot better than the disguises they were using- human bodies with black smocks, grey chino pants, a beret, sneakers and one of those white collars they give you when you get a haircut. These aliens shop at Goodwill. Anyway, they look almost as ridiculous in their squid form, which is something like what you would get if a squid mated with a Leatherman Multi-Tool.

+

=

The math is solid.

Regardless, these loser squid beasts from space all Voltron together into one giant stupid squid monster, and then proceed to battle and gruesomely impale poor Gamera, who somehow survives this seemingly mortal wound, and in return, murders them all. And that’s the movie.

It’s okay at best. Kinda fun, but the radically pronounced kid-centric vibe isn’t doing the
movie any favors, and the excessive use of stock footage alone disqualifies it from anything above a ‘C’ grade. Gamera VS. Space Monster Viras is something Daiei should have been ashamed of, especially given the gradual upward climb good ol’ Gamera had been experiencing before this dud. To be frank, I’m angry about it. He deserved better, and it’s crazy to think that the same studio that gave us Daimaijin is even capable of stooping to this shameful low.

If we wanted to defend Gamera Vs Viras, it might be worth mentioning that this could, MAYBE, be Daiei’s answer to Godzilla’s Revenge, a Toho produced movie that was also much more kid friendly, and which also made extensive use of stock footage… but let’s be honest, that feels more like a cop-out than a justification. Godzilla’s Revenge was more forthcoming about it’s previously seen footage, and since we don’t even know if those monsters are “real” within that film’s individual universe, the dreams sequences in which they are seen could all just be cobbled together memories of past Toho films the main character enjoyed. More importantly, they don’t interrupt color footage with black and white footage and then try to sell it to you as a new event, so Gamera Vs. Viras is a shame any way you slice it.