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Free Will Astrology
horoscopes for week of July 14, 2005

Aries (March 21-April 19)

"Always star in your own movie," said novelist Ken Kesey. In other words, don't let some charismatic authority or well-meaning companion play the lead role in your great adventure; don't be a supporting actor or actress who only indirectly advances the plot of your life story. This is an ideal time to meditate on this matter for several reasons: 1. You'll soon be given an opportunity to be a hero or heroine. 2. You're showing flashes of star quality. 3. Your creative powers are especially available for use in ripening your fondest dreams.

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Imagine that you have been relieved of your responsibilities for a given time. They will be taken care of by people you trust. You won't have to work to make money during this grace period, but will be given all you need. Nor will you have to clean your house, wash your clothes, or buy and make your food. Now here's the big question: What will you do now that you are free to do anything you like?

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You really need a new 7,000-square-foot home with 15 bedrooms, three jacuzzis, a state-of-the-art kitchen, expansive views, terraced gardens, and a swimming pool. If you can't afford that right now, you should at least spruce up and renovate your inner environment. I suggest you throw out a bunch of old psychic furniture, repaint the walls of your imagination, and plant some make-believe fruit trees in your conscience.

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It's time for the Gratitude Fest. Write thank-you notes to the creatures, both human and otherwise, that have played seminal roles in inspiring you to become yourself. Who have been your guides along the way, both the purposeful teachers and the inadvertent helpers? Who has seen you for who you really are? Who has nudged you in the direction of your fuller destiny and awakened you to your signature truths? Who has loved you very, very well?

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Pablo Picasso is the patron saint of getting paid for doing what you love to do. Over 200 of his paintings sold for more than a million dollars apiece, and he didn't have to wait until he was dead to get a lot of that money. He's your role model in the coming weeks, Gemini. It will be an excellent time for you not only to follow your bliss, but also to profit from following your bliss. Turn your thoughts to Picasso whenever you need a boost. Imagine that like him, you can find a way to be secure about money as you do what makes you feel at home in the world.

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George prayed every day for three years to win the lottery, but never heard from God or hit the jackpot.
Finally, God woke him up in the middle of the night. "George, is that you who's been praying so hard to win the lottery?" the Supreme Being boomed.
"Yes, Lord, desperately!"
God paused for a moment, then said thoughtfully, "George, I'll tell you what. I want you to meet me halfway. Buy a ticket, OK?"

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

During my years in college, I enjoyed watching the evolution of Richard, a shy geek in my creative writing classes. Long before he penned a single good poem, he was a bohemian art poseur. On his backpack there was a button with the image of rock poet Patti Smith. He often wore a t-shirt bearing a quote from poetry icon Allen Ginsberg, and he was never without his book of Rimbaud poems. Everywhere I went I saw him scribbling ostentatiously in his journal as he chain-smoked clove cigarettes. To my surprise, Richard's work gradually began to match his persona. By sophomore year he'd spawned some evocative poems, and soon after he graduated, he published a fine chapbook. In his development I witnessed a perfect example of the saying, "You become what you pretend to be." That's an excellent theme for you to meditate on right now, Cancerian.

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"If you bring forth the genius within you," said Jesus in the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas, "it will free you. If you do not bring forth the genius within you, it will destroy you." Is there any aspect of the genius within you that you're not bringing forth? If so, what can you do to change that?

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

An archaeologist found 2,000-year-old date seeds in an excavation at King Herod's palace on Israel's Mount Masada. He brought them back to a lab at his university and left them in a drawer. They eventually caught the attention of botanist Elaine Solowey, who decided to see if they'd grow. Seven months later, one plant was over a foot tall and had six healthy leaves. An ancient seed, lifeless for so long, had bloomed. I foresee a comparable development in your life, Leo: You will retrieve a dormant kernel or fading ember from the past and bring it to vibrant life.

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You're a star—and so am I. I'm a genius—and so are you. Your success encourages my brilliance, and my charisma enhances your power. Your victory doesn't require my defeat, and vice versa.
Those are the rules in the New World—quite unlike the rules in the Old World, where zero-sum games are the norm, and only one of us can win each time we play. In the New World, you don't have to play down or apologize for your prowess, because you love it when other people shine. You exult in your own excellence without regarding it as a sign of inherent superiority. As you ripen more and more of your latent aptitude, you inspire the rest of us to claim our own idiosyncratic magnificence.

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Even if you're an intellectual atheist who doesn't believe in mysteries you can't see, I encourage you to make Artemis your ally. The goddess of wild places, she asks you to believe that the best place to rest and recharge is not a luxurious spa where all your needs are attended to, but rather a lush wilderness deep in the middle of nowhere. Artemis loves the animals, and she loves the animal in you. She arouses your instinctual fertility, which may fill you with a kind of longing that awakens your creativity. A fierce nurturer, she feeds your soul by stirring your sense of adventure. She unleashes the wild woman within you, even if you're a man.

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HELP WANTED. Practical dreamers with high emotional intelligence needed to become experts in the following subjects: the art of possessing abundant resources without feeling greed or a sense of superiority; the science of cultivating luxurious comfort in a way that does not lead to spiritual sloth; and a knack for enjoying peace and serenity without diluting one's ambition.

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

There is a proverb from the American culture of the early 21st century that I'd like to run by you, Libra: "Never reveal all you know, confess everything you feel, show how much you care, or give all you have." According to my astrological analysis, this is the worst possible advice you could receive in order to thrive in the coming weeks. In fact, if it were up to me, you'd do just the opposite. I understand if you can't bring yourself to do that, especially if you're an American. Nonetheless, that's what would be good for you.

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At the heart of the pronoiac way of life is an apparent conundrum: You can have anything you want if you'll just ask for it in an unselfish way. The trick to making this work is to locate where your deepest ambition coincides with the greatest gift you have to give. Figure out exactly how the universe, by providing you with abundance, can improve the lot of everyone whose life you touch. Seek the fulfillment of your fondest desires in such a way that you become a fount of blessings.

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

When I saw the grandmother of one of my friends dancing exuberantly at a party in a San Francisco warehouse, I was confounded. "Isn't she 80 years old?" I asked my friend, who was one of the DJs. "82, actually," he said nonchalantly. "She's in great shape." But my amazement wasn't based merely on how much energy she had; her agile movements were stunningly sensual. I've rarely seen young dancers display so much erotic abandon. I decided that she's a rare example of a person whose aging process has not made her rigid and cautious, but just the opposite: It has lightened and liberated her. She's a good example for you right now, Scorpio. You should be cultivating the kind of maturity that will loosen your inhibitions and banish your fears.

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Life is a vast and intricate conspiracy designed to keep us well supplied with blessings. What kind of blessings? Palatial homes, attractive lovers, lottery winnings, career success? Maybe. But just as likely: interesting surprises, unexpected challenges, gifts we hardly know what to do with, conundrums that force us to get smarter.
Novelist William Vollman referred to the latter types of blessings when he said that "the most important and enjoyable thing in life is doing something that's a complicated, tricky problem for you that you don't know how to solve."

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

Pink elephants are usually invoked in the same spirit as flying pigs. Both are emblematic of silly fantasies generated by intoxication or an aberrant imagination. And yet the truth is that there are such beasts as pink elephants. Many of them live in India where the soil is red. They constantly spray dust on themselves to serve as a barrier against insects, and in so doing take on a permanent pink hue. Let's make those pink elephants your power animals in the coming week, Sagittarius. They'll be an inspiration as you start turning one of your seemingly unlikely or impossible dreams into a practical reality.

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Review in painstaking detail the history of your life, honoring every
moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day.
Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.
Create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs.
Think of the last place on earth you'd ever want to visit, and visualize yourself having fun there.
Test to see if people are really listening to you by asserting that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.
Track down people who are impossible to love, and love them defiantly without expecting anything in return.
Steal lint from dryers in laundromats and use it to make animal sculptures for someone you admire.
Fantasize you're the child of divine parents who abandoned you when you were two days old, but who will soon be coming back to reunite with you.
Once a year, say these words into a mirror: "It's bad luck to be superstitious."

The preceding love note comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

The astrological omens will soon favor a splashy union. It could come in the form of a wedding or a reworking of your marriage vows. It could mean an adventurous collaboration with a business partner or a deepened commitment to an old ally. You might even consider intensifying your devotion to an idea that inspires you or sharpening your concentration on a future event that will marshal your lust for life.

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Imagine it's 30 years from now. You're looking back at the history of your relationship with desire. There was a certain watershed moment when you clearly saw that some of your desires were mediocre, inferior, and wasteful, while others were pure, righteous, and invigorating. Beginning then, you made it a life goal to purge the former and cultivate the latter. Thereafter, you occasionally wandered down dead ends trying to gratify yearnings that weren't worthy of you, but usually you wielded your passions with discrimination, dedicating them to serve the highest and most interesting good.

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

A man in Illinois was growing increasingly impatient with his two houseguests. He didn't like how much crack they smoked, and was hesitant to bring a potential girlfriend home for fear she'd be turned off by the seedy ambiance. Unable to convince the drug-crazed parasites to leave, he resorted to an extreme measure: He set his own house on fire. The ploy worked, in the sense that his house was empty again. Unfortunately, the damage was so extensive that he himself couldn't live there anymore. Make sure you don't do anything similar in the coming week, Aquarius. There are lots of effective ways to get rid of a certain annoyance without hurting your own interests.

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Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you.
For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery.
Fantasize that your so-called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.
When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage.
Dream you're a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall.
Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you.
Buy seven used gowns worn by famous actresses to the Academy Awards show, and send them gratis to seven Guatemalan teenagers.
Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river.
Keep an image of a sphinx with you at all times.

The preceding love note comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Psychiatrist R.D. Laing espoused a view of insanity that's radically different from the conventional wisdom. He said the rules of the game in the so-called normal world are crazy and sick. So when a person has a breakdown and no longer agrees to play by those rules, it's actually a sign of vitality. In fact, a period of chaotic rebellion may be the only way to burst free from the lunacy of everyday life. Eventually, of course, the escapee has to return to a semblance of mental health and create a new relationship with the normal world, though in such a way that he or she will be less susceptible to its pathologies. Often the process I've just described is a terrible ordeal, even when it results in a dramatic healing. But right now, you Pisceans can experience a fun and enjoyable version of it.

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Notice how you feel as you speak the following: "The strong, independent part of me resisted the embarrassing truth for a long time, but I finally came to accept that I'm someone who craves vast amounts of love. Ever since I surrendered to this need, it doesn't nag me all the time, as it used to. In fact, it feels comforting, like a source of sweetness that doesn't go away. I never thought I'd say this, but I've come to treasure the feeling of having a voracious yearning to be loved."

The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, and is available on the Web at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.