Hope Floats

Skeptical Investigation

Sensory Underload in a Bethesda Basement

We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our
desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these
claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.
We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Trademark pending.)

THE CLAIMThat floating inside the sensory-deprivation tank at Bethesda’s Hope
Floats can de-stress you, relieve injuries and/or produce a state of high concentration.

THE INVESTIGATIONOur intrepid researcher went to a house in a leafy neighborhood in
the burbs. He entered the lower level, where there’s... a tiny spa setup. After the usual shower/robe
routine, it was time to climb into the sci-fi-ish tank and close the hatch.

Inside: our test subject lowered himself into a foot or so of water, kept exactly at skin temperature (94
degrees) and containing 800 pounds of Epsom salts to ensure that one floats on the surface. Which he did.
For an hour. In pitch blackness. And silence. Good times.

THE VERDICTOur researcher didn’t figure out how to colonize Mars, or reach a higher
plane of existence, but he reports feeling energized and refreshed. Bonus: he’s no longer afraid of small
spaces.