Sex is a normal part of life for every person on the Earth. It is a means of procreation, ensuring the continuation of life. It is an intimate and pleasurable experience between a husband and a wife, or two people in a committed relationship who care about each other. However for some people, sex is a dirty little word that has wreaked havoc in their lives because they have developed an obsession for sex. For this person, sex and the thought of sex dominates their normal thinking processes, leading to compulsive, risky behavior that is identified as sexual addiction. When a person has become addicted to sex, he or she will have difficulty maintaining a healthy relationship.

There are several ways in which sexual addiction manifests itself. Some people suffer from the private addiction – masturbation. A large number of people indulge in masturbation, even if they have regular sexual relations with a partner. This is not uncommon, as many children also masturbate as a way of exploring their body. However, masturbation becomes a problem when the person is unable to enjoy sex with a partner, preferring to masturbate. This is a form of non-relationship, fantasy-based sex. It also becomes an addiction when the person becomes distress by the act because it interferes with their daily life. It has become socially acceptable for people to admit to addictions with alcohol, eating, work or even illegal drugs. People who are addicted to masturbation are subject to being shunned because it is not easily recognizable when the person has crossed the line.

Another sexual addiction that disrupts a person’s life is pornography addiction, described as one of the most difficult addictions to overcome. In fact, it has been compared to cocaine addiction because people experience similar neurochemical brain activity. The viewing of magazine photos and video pornography is being replaced with an even more accessible way to feed this addiction: the Internet. People can indulge in online still photos, download films or use webcam sex to fulfill their addiction. Porn addicts will replace important relationships and commitments with any form of pornography that is available.

There are many different behaviors associated with sexual addiction. People who are sex addicts will take risks in order to fulfill their desires. Unsafe sex, voyeurism, multiple one night stands, multiple affairs are just some of the ways sexual addiction is manifested. A person who does not admit to his or her addiction runs the risk of progressing to illegal activities in order to satisfy their sexual urges. Treatment begins when the person admits to the problem, with a focus on controlling the addictive behavior, while at the same time developing a healthy sexuality.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Emotional Transmutation is possibly the most powerful force of change or motivation one can consciously control. Simply stated, emotional, or sexual transmutation is the conversion of latent or dominant emotional / sexual energy into useful productive energies for self growth, reaching goals, personal change, or other purposes.

Think about it, what urges drive and shape a hugely profitable fashion industry? What thoughts have risen up onto a pillar the massive pornographic industry? What desires assist you to stay in shape, look your best, or drink a low fat latte instead of a regular?

The Power of Desire

When you are attracted to a member of the opposite sex, what happens? Something in your brain is triggered; It is something you cannot explain. It borders obsession, hinges on lust, and craves the adventure of the chase. Love may be a factor but the core human response to these initial interactions is simple – raw desire.

Occasionally love gets in the way and often times heartache can play a factor in the achievement of desire. Thankfully, heartache and sexual desire are the two biggest known factors of motivation aside from self-preservation.

We humans will go through many phases of development but a primary developmental factor evident in all stages is the drive to procreate – to connect – to give life to someone or something that will exceed beyond our own legacy.

Intense feelings of longing or need can accompany desire in its nonsexual capacity as well. Just think about the last time you saw something that you wanted to badly that it became a need. If you continued to think about this object, person, or substance that need would begin to transform into a strong, burning desire.

Whenever an experience, idea, or substance engages us and moves us toward this need to “feel good” we tend to gravitate towards it. We tend to crave it. We tend to circumvent all odds just in order to get it.

So, how can we learn to consciously channel our desires for things less exciting than sex, drugs, and rock and roll? How can we assimilate this type of motivation into tasks such as living our dreams or actively pursuing our most wild fantasies?

For many of us, simply channeling a bit of extra juice in the workplace would be a huge benefit.

The Power of Passion

Passion is easily confused with desire. In fact, the difference between the two is more or less a simple application of logic. Where they differ lies within the fact that passion pertains to something understood to be in possession. In order to have a “passion” for something, you must first obtain it or have a good working knowledge of it.

Passion is more closely related to the emotional response caused by desire (lust) and can extend the psychological imprint of desire.

The reason for this is that passion is an emotional, or chemical, release by the brain in response to the ego-driven and primarily intellectual causes of desire. If you desire something so deeply that it triggers emotion, passion will release feelings similar to or equaling love in order to act as an emotional reinforcement.

This chemical response of “feeling good” is then used by the brain to categorize the pattern as desirable and a new neural imprint is then stored in our subconscious.

Any repetitive thought or action steeped in emotion will likely become a self fulfilling prophecy. Because you are consciously aware of your thoughts, actions, intentions, and the role they play in your success or failure you can begin using visualization to complete the triangle. Are you ready to hit the triple play?

Using Visualization, the Final Step

Visualization is the activity of mentally altering your thought process to “escape” reality. Visualization is an integral part of many meditative practices, success workshops, and coaching strategies. Psychologists use visualization to assist their patients. Prayer is also a form of visualization. If you have ever daydreamed, you have practiced visualization.

To do this activity, you will need a colorful photo of something that holds some emotional significance. You could use a photo of your home, your new car, your spouse, or a vacation spot which you have visited or would like to visit.

For best effect, the photo should contain vibrant colors.

Find a quiet, comfortable location either sitting or lying down. Take care to remove any tight fitting clothing or objects which could alter your experience, such as a wallet in your back pocket. If you are sitting, you should sit erect with your feet touching the ground. If you are lying down, lie on your back with your legs comfortably stretched.

Now, look at the photo for a few moments, focus on the details, the colors, and the environment. After focusing on the photo for a few moments, shut your eyes. As your eyes adjust to the darkness and your surroundings fade, begin to recall the photograph. Do you feel a breeze? Are there any smells? Perhaps a garden is nearby? Can you feel the sun on your skin? If the photo was of a person, interact with them, hug them, be in the moment.

Use your imagination to put yourself into the photo and the environment to the best of your ability. This is a right hemisphere function of the brain, therefore some may find it easier to do than others. Do not worry, simply practice and take your time.

The key here is to learn to trick your mind into believing it’s own illusion. When you are able to clearly visualize something you desire, and desire it so heavily that emotions and passion run parallel, you are ready to actively begin reprogramming your brain using visualization, passion, and desire.

There’s an uncomfortable truth that is unspoken, and that is men get raped more than we know or talk about. The statistics of sexual assault against men can vary, and due to how underreported it is, it can be impossible to really get a sense of how many men have been victims of sexual assault. The network show American Crime is focusing a gripping and powerful story centered on how young adult males struggle to come forward along with the stigma and gender roles that keep many from telling their story and getting help to deal with their trauma

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have put out a study that showed that among over 130 college campuses and 5,000 college students, one in 25 men answered “yes” to being asked if they had been forced to have sexual intercourse against their will. Research from other organizations estimate that one in six males are sexually assaulted before the age of 18. Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted often experience unique challenges with their traumatic experience. Adult men who have suffered sexual abuse as young boys or as teens may respond differently than men who are sexually assaulted as an adult due to differences in the expectations of gender norms and their development.

Boys are raised from an early age with messages such as “be strong” or “Don’t be a sissy and cry!” Often signs that abuse has occurred with children and teens show up in how they function at home and school. With adult men the aftermath of their sexual assault is usually seen in PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), which causes their relationships to suffer from withdrawal, and feeling on edge. One challenge that male victims of sexual assault fear is being ridiculed or not taken seriously. Another challenge is men feeling shame about not being able to stop the assault from happening, and having confusion and concerns about their sexual orientation if they experience a physiological response to being assaulted such as getting aroused and ejaculating while being assaulted. Being sexually assaulted can be unbearable for men that don’t want to be seen as a ‘victim’ because it goes against the messages they were raised with of what it means to be a “real man”.

The writers of American Crime have taken this issue head on in the story that follows a community trying to make sense of an accusation of sexual assault by a young man at a party for prep school’s basketball team. The student Taylor Blaine, is on financial aid at a pricey prep school, and discovers that pictures of him drunk and looking incoherent at a victory party for the basketball team have been posted and mocked online. Having a history of being bullied at his school, Taylor tells his mother that the photos were taken after he was drugged and sexually assaulted. From there the story depicts the uphill battle Taylor’s mother has in making sure that the school and authorities track down the boys who are to blame. American Crime bring to light how people’s perspectives can shift from a parents and law enforcement questioning what occurred to being in denial and trying to sweep it under the rug. The character Blaine, who was raped, is shown telling his therapist how he felt ridiculed when reporting his account to the police. “People lose their minds when something happens to a girl. They have rights groups supporting them. But a guy? I just want it to be over.”

Coming forward about surviving sexual assault or abuse can be difficult. If you are a man who has experienced sexual assault, or know of someone who has been raped, then it’s important to realize how important it is to come forward and speak out. When men choose to come forward it’s important that they are believed and supported by the people around them. It’s important that they be allowed to make their own choices about what actions to take. Coming forward and telling their story to loved ones and seeking professional help from a therapist requires trust, compassion, and understanding. A resounding message that anyone who has been sexually assaulted needs to hear, is that they are not alone.

“There happen to be plenty of studies explaining the health advantages of sex,” states licensed sex counselor and sexuality educator Sandra L. Caron, PhD, professor of family relations and human sexuality in the College of Maine’s College of Education and Human Rise in Orono. “Most of these connect with achieving orgasm. Nobody states you need to be with someone to achieve that.”

That’s an intriguing sex tip for those who don’t have a committed partner – self-pleasuring can provide sex benefits, especially individuals particularly associated with getting a great orgasm.

1. Enhanced heart health. As with every exercise, healthy sex will work for your heart. Several research has discovered that your chance of dying from the cardiovascular disease event for example stroke or cardiac arrest goes lower because the frequency of the good orgasms increase with time. As well as for individuals that worry the effort involved with sex is a menace to one’s heart, analyses reveal that probably the most sexually intense moments (presuming you aren’t abnormally energetic inside your activities) place comparable demand in your heart as walking four to six miles per hour. Obviously, it will help your heart as well as your sex existence overall to remain in shape.

2.Sweet discomfort relief. Just searching at the partner (or perhaps a photo of the partner) might help ease discomfort. When anesthesiologists demonstrated people getting involved in research photos of the romantic partners or photos of attractive other people, or requested these phones engage in short game, they discovered that searching at romantic partners considerably numbed the expertise of discomfort. So despite the fact that you may think discomfort is really a barrier to sex, consider that one sex benefit well worth the effort and time: take the time to actually review your lover. Other research has discovered that women could get some respite from menstrual cramps via a good orgasm.

3. Cancer prevention. Studies have recommended that males may reduce their chance of cancer of the prostate proportionately for their good orgasms and also the stimulation of the testicles. While more scientific studies are needed, this will surely be considered a welcome sex benefit.

4. Better sleep. Although experts aren’t sure precisely why sex actively works to improve sleep, there seems to become some evidence it does. So never be too surprised if you and your spouse doze off soon after a satisfying sexcapade – and awaken feeling rejuvenated!

5. Better mood. It’s no surprise you have a far more positive outlook publish-sex: You will find biochemical rationales for going through enhanced mood like a sex benefit, in the chemicals that might be launched throughout healthy sex towards the mood boosters found in semen itself. “And”, adds Caron, “there’s a great deal to be stated only for the atmosphere-improving effect of getting a pleasant reference to somebody who you trust and worry about.”

6. Glowing skin. That fabled ‘morning-after’ glow? It isn’t just your imagination: You absolutely look better after making love. “Sex even can help you look more youthful,” states Caron. That glow could be credited to a mix of to reduce stress, better mood, and also the flush of bloodstream beneath your skin that’s an all natural area of the arousal process.

According to Patrick Carnes, there are 11 sexual addiction behavior types. This information is important when when working with sexually addictive or codependents or co-addicts of sex addicts. As you will see, sex addiction comes in many forms and types. Anything from the lone web surfer who spends 5 hours a night looking at pornography, to the patron of a prostitute, to the exhibitionist (man in the raincoat), the voyeur, and others.

o “Sex in the head” – arousal depends on sexual possibility
o The fantasy is preferred over sex
o Fantasies can be all-consuming
o Rarely is sex the goal (unless it’s necessary to control an outcome)

2. Seductive Role Sex- Seduction of partners

o Being sexual without being truthful about intentions
o Arousal is based on conquest
o Arousal diminishes after initial contact
o Seduction equals power and control
o Can results in multiple relationships, affairs and/or serial relationships

o Arousal is connected to payment of sex
o With time, the arousal is connected to money itself
o Prostitution, phone sex, sexual massages

5. Trading for Sex – Selling or bartering sex for power

o Arousal is based on gaining control of others by using sex as leverage
o Receiving money or drugs for sex * Making explicit movies/videos, stripping, pimping, and/or drugs for sex

6. Voyeuristic Sex – Visual Arousal

o The use of visual stimulation to escape into an obsessive trance
o Secretive looking or “peeping” to obtain sexual gratification
o Use of pornographic photos, magazines, computer and/or videos to obtain a fix

7. Exhibitionistic Sex – Attracting attention to the body or sexual parts of the body

o Sexual arousal stems from the viewer’s reaction, whether it is shock or interest
o Exposing oneself to obtain sexual gratification and/or power
o Exposing oneself in public places, at home, in a car
o Wearing clothes designed to expose and titillate

o Arousal patterns are based on target “types” of vulnerability
o Force, intimidation, or manipulation may be used
o 30% of male and 14% of female sex addicts have had sex with minors
o Pedophiles are not necessarily sex addicts
o Sex addicts can be pedophiles