Totally disproportionate reaction to trying to tidy bedroom

The rest of my house is neat and tidy and clean but I am not keeping my room tidy at all. I change the bed weekly without fail but I have not been doing anything else. I am not putting washing away, just dumping it on the floor. This morning I decided to try to tidy up so I hung my clothes up but I am sitting here crying because it is such a mess. I am in my room all the time and I can't ever see it as somewhere I would want to be. I thought I could hoover but there is so much to pick up and I don't know where to put any of it. I am horrified by the carpet. I wish I hadn't bothered trying. I don't know how I have become this person.

How is the rest of your house staying tidy? Has your room become a dumping ground for things from the rest of the house? What is on the floor? If it is still clothes, yet your wardrobes are full then you may have too many clothes.Is there rubbish on the floor, such as empty drinks bottles? If you can see obvious rubbish then start with that, get a carrier bag and collect up junk.What motivates you to keep the rest of the house tidy, but not your room?If it's stuff that dosent seem to have a home in the rest of the house but you don't want it in your room then maybe it is time to let go of more stuff x

You've done the hardest part of this job, which is deciding to tackle it. No need to beat yourself up about it, just think how lovely it is going to be when it is tidy and clean. Go and make yourself a cup of tea, take a break for 5 minutes then get back to it. Put anything you don't want to keep into two bin bags: one for throwing out and the other for the charity shop. Then throw the rubbish out and take the other bag to the charity shop asap.

I think it has become a dumping ground for the rest of the house. I haven't done anything else apart from gather all the pens I found into one pile on the floor. I found loads of packets of painkillers too which upset me because that's not the sort of thing I should leave lying around. I've changed my sheets and I'm back in bed. Thanks

Put a play on the radio. This will distract you and aim to do the fly lady 15 minutes. Do this daily and it will be tidy in a week. It does work. I find if I put a play on I stay longer because I am distracted by the play and the putting away becomes methodical. Come join the fledgling thread.

I agree with setting a time to work on it, it's much easier and less daunting if you think I'll just do this for x minutes, then have a break. Also, listening to something makes it less of a chore.

One thought - do you need more storage space? My bedroom often got used as a dumping ground for stuff that didn't go anywhere else, buying a cupboard and storage boxes made a big difference because that stuff actually had a 'home'.

It sounds like you’ve made a start, which is great! Don’t feel as though you have to do it all in one go. Set aside a couple hours each day and do what you can. Can you put on some music or tv in the background so that it doesn’t feel too boring?

Oh darling! If you are sitting weeping it's not just clutter, its emotions.I'm guessing you look after the house and keep it nice for everyone else, but who is looking after you and keeping things nice for you?Lots of good practical advice above. Can you get a friend to help you? I'm making a sweeping assumption that you are a single parent (apologies if I'm wrong!). Have your kids made you anything that you can keep in your room? (Dodgy coaster, wobbly Mother's Day card- even if it's from years ago) A reminder that you are loved and cared for, albeit by people who are not much help at housework...You are allowed to prioritise your room over the rest of the house for a bit to. You really are worth it, corny as it sounds.

I had a great session on it a few weeks ago where I put EVERYTHING on the floor onto the bed

Then sort into piles on bed

I'm like you all the clean laundry gets piled on my bed then as I tumble into bed I put it on the floor

So...... once all the mess is on the bed sort into pilesE.g. Airing cupboard stuff...sheets, towels etc

Clothes put into persons piles (folded)

Bric a brac .. separate pile for each room

Make sure to grab a black bag and throw any junk as you go

Do clothes someone first,,hang up or put away each persons laundry

Grab a pile of stuff that belongs in bathroom and put away where it belongs

Same with other piles e.g. Kitchen , kids rooms, lounge etc

... the room should look much better already which will then seem like the rest will be a lot easier... again put into piles for each room and deliver to each room

Wipe down cupboards etc ...

Always good to take a photo for some reason when its messy so you can see what you've achieved and it shames you a bit

Once you've tackled the floors have a go if the tops are messy.If you have the time have a tidy of your wardrobe and bag any clothes you don't want. Try and start whittling the cluttery things up (useless ornaments) more clutter about the messier it looks. Once tidy it's so much easier keeping on top of it all

Are you feeling any better in yourself OP? It’s not at all unusual to have one (or more) out-of-control room in your house but really it’s just a room, not an outward manifestation of the worst aspects of your personality.

I’ve had a lot of success with sorting out my house over the last 12 months, mostly using the handbag method. You know how you can never really get your handbag in order unless you dump out the contents? I do the same thing with any area I’m tackling. For a bedroom that means pulling everything out into the landing, cleaning, and then only putting back in what you really want in there Then when you have the room the way you want it you tackle what’s left. I’ve decluttered a lot of perfectly good stuff that I would never have got rid of if I just looked for stuff to declutter. But when I realize that I don’t have a place for it, or it crowds an otherwise harmonious room it’s easier to let go. Realistically it takes a few hours to strip, clean and put a room in order and then about a week to figure out the excess Having it out in the open and underfoot helps because while you can hide it in a room and let it languish for years, you will get it sorted a lot quicker!

And because you’ll be enjoying the new clear, uncluttered bedroom space, you really won’t want to shove it back in.

Thank you. I am feeling down again and back in bed. I got a bit of a lift the other day when I found something I had lost about a year ago. It was part of a set so I was able to reunite the set and get it out of the house.

I cleared an area of floor space then I emptied the floor of my cupboard onto it and I haven't done any more. One of the cupboard doors has fallen off the rail so I can only open one side of the cupboard. I have tried to put it back on but can't do a thing with it. I will need to get someone in. Who would do something like that? I am lost! Not being able to open one side of the cupboard for so long has surely contributed toward the mess. I can't get anyone in to mend it until I get the room tidied. I haven't hoovered it yet. I am ashamed at how dirty the carpet is. I threw a lot of stuff out into the hall and now that is virtually impassable.

In the cupboard I found 2 underbed storage boxes I bought some time ago but have never used. I have always resisted storing anything under my bed but now I intend to store some clothes in there. I don't think more storage is the answer as I have purged a lot. Putting things away is the key and I'm not doing that.

I am tearful again typing it all out. I am trying so hard to get on my feet and I'm failing at every turn. I'm not even able to keep my house in a livable condition.