I recently read research saying that 11 percent of adults who have been in a relationship for 10 years or less met their current spouse or longterm romantic partner online. So perhaps it is time to review what an effective online/cellphone profile consists of, along with the do’s and don’ts of online dating.

First, the DON’Ts (next week I will list the DOs):

Don’t be so picky that you wind up rejecting everyone. Because there are so many choices on internet dating sites, some people get into the habit of looking for reasons to reject rather than accept. S/he is too tall/short, wants/doesn’t want or has children, has a different religion or political affiliation, and so on.

Don’t misrepresent yourself and give a false age, weight, body type, height, income/financial status, marital status, education or profession. And if you are recently separated, divorced or have recently recycled back to being single, say so. Trust is vitally important to a relationship, and no one can afford to create trust issues right off the bat and expect a relationship to thrive. (For the record, the most common online profile lie women use is to misrepresent their age, weight or body type. Men are more likely to misrepresent their height, income/financial status and body type.)

Don’t post photos of your children, family members, pets or of your ex. A potential mate might meet all these in good time, but s/he is not going to choose you because of them. And don’t post old photos — make sure all your photos are recent.

Don’t spend a lot of time writing (or phoning) back and forth until you can meet each other in person and determine that there’s chemistry and mutual attraction. If you’re not attracted to the other person, the relationship is going to fail no matter how good your connection is, so don’t waste a lot of time trying to connect unless you know this is someone you really want — and the feeling is mutual.

Don’t choose to meet people you know you’re going to reject anyway.

Don’t play it too safe. Take all necessary security precautions, but the bonding and falling in love process isn’t emotionally safe, and it requires you to let someone else in. Risk getting rejected rather than playing it too safe, because playing it really safe all but insures that you’ll fail.

Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Westminster and Boulder. He is the author of the bestselling book "Love, Sex, and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship." Contact him at 303-758-8777 or visit neilrosenthal.com.