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PUBLIC LIVES; One Player's World Cup: She Also Served

SASKIA WEBBER, a goalkeeper on the United States women's soccer team, did not play even one-half of a match in the Women's World Cup, which the team won Saturday. Instead, she spent the entire, excruciatingly thrilling tournament on the bench, her hair spray-painted red, white and blue, cheering her team and enviously eyeing Briana Scurry, the starting keeper.

This is a story about persistence and defeat, three times over, and finally, victory: being chosen second best.

''If I never become No. 1, I can retire and say I've done everything I could,'' Ms. Webber said yesterday, during a conversation at a Manhattan hotel. ''Maybe I couldn't be better than Bri, but I was good enough for me.''

The wistfulness flashed in her eyes and was gone. At 28, Ms. Webber is no slouch. In college, she won a Ms. Rutgers bodybuilding competition and, in her senior year, was named the country's top goalkeeper.

For there comes a lousy moment, after the third time she was cut from the national team, when she is summoned back, allowed to train as the second backup goalkeeper for the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta.

During those matches, she cannot wear the team uniform or sit on the bench, and so must take her place in the stands. Her friends and family have flown in.

The team's hard-fought Olympics triumph arrives. ''The National Anthem started and I stood and cried,'' said Ms. Webber, who glows with muscular fitness. ''I was so happy and so empty. I rushed down to the field to celebrate with them. And then I was handed everyone's camera so that I could take their pictures as they got their gold medals.''

Ms. Webber, of Princeton, N.J., has been a jock since forever. Her mother, an executive chef, and her father, who does computer operations, are outdoorsy and they applauded her whenever she seized upon a new sport. She swam, played softball, tennis, basketball, lacrosse and, of course, soccer.

Her mother is Dutch, her father black. ''I'm proud of both sides of my family,'' said Ms. Webber, who identifies herself as of mixed race. ''Growing up, I hung out with the white kids in the community and the black athletes. I had the most problems, name-calling, from the black kids who weren't into sports.''

At Rutgers, where she played for four years, she settled into goalkeeping, because she could be part of a team but also stand out on her own.

Struggling with mild dyslexia and a demanding soccer schedule, she needed five years to graduate, and played in scrimmages with the Rutgers men's team to stay sharp.

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Then Briana Scurry joined the team, and Ms. Webber's fortunes faded. She couldn't keep her focus for a full 90-minute game and made mistakes, crying about them in the shower. Cut from the team in 1994, Ms. Webber started working with a sprint coach. She lost 10 pounds, gained speed and rejoined the team, moving to its North Carolina camp at her own expense.

Like her teammates, Ms. Webber made soccer her life: morning goalkeeper practice, team practice, lunch, team practice, supper, collapse. Weight-lifting and running in her spare time.

''I went from being at Rutgers, where I was a constant impact player, to fighting for time to play at all,'' Ms. Webber said. When the team went up against weak opponents, she and another backup goalkeeper would each be allowed to take a quarter of a game, while Ms. Scurry collected her full half.

''Mary Harvey and I would get 22 1/2 minutes and if I was pulled out at 21, I'd be mad,'' Ms. Webber said. ''You have to prove yourself. With Bri there, you have to accept your role as a reserve but you are never satisfied with that.''

At a 1995 World Cup match in Sweden, Ms. Webber almost had her moment, when Ms. Scurry was given a red card and had to leave. ''I was, like, oh my God, freaking out, hesitating, the zipper on my sweats got stuck, and I was finally pulling the jacket over my head when a voice said, 'Saskia, we've used up all our subs.' ''

She did play in the next match, but fumbled badly. Several months later, as a romantic relationship was collapsing, Ms. Webber was cut from the team, for a third time.

''I thought, 'I'm 25, I've got to play!' '' Ms. Webber said. She went to Japan for a corporate team. She stayed for three seasons, happily getting ''beat up,'' playing three matches a week, calming down, gaining confidence, growing up.

And in the spring of 1998, Tony DiCicco, who coaches the American women's soccer team, once again invited her to training camp.

''This time I felt like nobody owed me,'' she said. ''I had no chip on my shoulder. I was just happy to be there and it showed in my soccer.''

She was picked as first backup goalkeeper for the 1999 World Cup team.

During the Americans' match against Denmark, Ms. Scurry was hit hard. Mr. DiCicco told Ms. Webber to get ready. ''I bent over and picked up my gloves and I wasn't nervous or hysterical,'' she said. ''I was ready.''

''But then Bri got up and brushed it off and I sat back down. Fine.'' In the retelling she seemed at peace. ''Because I knew that things were going the right way for me.''

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A version of this article appears in print on July 15, 1999, on Page B00002 of the National edition with the headline: PUBLIC LIVES; One Player's World Cup: She Also Served. Order Reprints|Today's Paper|Subscribe