Thursday, July 31, 2014

That's a great feeling. I enjoyed my vacation. Despite small amounts of guilt, I stayed positive. And, I am back to doing what I was doing... exercising and eating right. Down 2.6 from yesterday and truly undaunted by the weight I gained. While I haven't posted my "vacation rules", or even fully defined them, I am living by them.Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 234.8Change from previous: (2.6)Total: (43.6)Total Days: 178

I'm back. Vacation is over. Well, my vacation was officially over last Thursday. But, then my brother and his daughter came in from San Diego and I decided to extend my vacation eating through the weekend. He left Sunday. I have no valid excuse for why I haven't blogged since then or even while he was here. Mostly, I was busy at work and kept forgetting at night. But, it also may have been that I was too busy eating to write in my blog. Well, as you can ascertain by the weight above, my vacation did not go as I had planned. By itself, that doesn't disappoint me. I wanted to be better. But, I can't say I was confident. It was vacation after all. I think my biggest disappointment is that I actually set such unreasonable goals and truly believed I could lose weight while I was away. A small bit of disappointment comes from, at the very least, not keeping my weigh gain between 3-5 pounds. An even smaller bit of disappointment comes from not exercising every single day while on vacation. And, the slightest of disappointments come from mentally extending my vacation while my brother was in town... especially considering he is the one who most wants me to succeed on this journey.So, here is a summary of my time away and the weigh-ins I haven't posted...Thursday, July 17 - 232.8 - I never went to bed on Wednesday night. With an early flight, Lori and I powered through the night and went about 40 hours with only a catnap on the airplane. I wasn't going to weigh before we left. But, I ended up stepping on the scale right before we left the house in the wee hours of the morning. I was up 1.8. I tell you this not because it is that relevant or because it is an indicator of anything I did on Wednesday. But, because it makes my gain on vacation seem a little bit smaller if 232.8 is the starting point rather than 231!Friday, July 25 - 237.8 - So, that sums up my vacation. From the first meal at a Long John Silver's to the Wendy's Frosty the night we got back, I did nothing I said I would. I ate what I wanted and enjoyed my week of exceptions. Even my two days at the amusement parks, where I expected to eat light and walk a bunch, were cut short by rain which lead to late night meals that weren't good for me. The result was 6.8 pounds up from the last weight posted and 5.0 pounds up from the last time I stepped on the scale.Saturday, July 26 - 239.0 - Another day of vacation bliss and late night pizza added another 1.2 pounds. Not a good start to our day in Denver.Sunday, July 27 - 241.0 - Yes, I actually climbed back over 240. Our trip to Denver included my favorite meal at The Brewery Bar and we came back to dinner at Toni and Joe's with the family. As bad as I was, I am glad I didn't hit 245.Monday, July 28 - 239.0 - Back under 240... for the last time... really. In my mind, Sunday was the last day of my vacation. The day started with leftover pizza and got worse from there. Lori had been craving Popeye's and I told her that we should satisfy that craving while still on vacation before I started to re-focus on Monday. So, we went to Popeye's. There is no reasonable explanation for why I lost 2 pounds on Monday other than my body was tired of gaining weight and decided to do me a solid. I thank it for that.Tuesday, July 29 - 237.4 - Back in the swing of things. Back to work. Back to exercising. And, down 1.6 pounds.Wednesday, July 30 - 237.4 - Yesterday was a weird day. Our lack of sleep on vacation caught up with us. Lori and I sat in our chairs in some sort of comatose state and did not need to twist each other's arms to skip going to the club or on a walk. I felt grateful that my weight was the same.I have given up on believing I can be truly good on vacation. I suspected this before and even talked to my brother about my "vacation rules". That will be a post for another day. In the end, the really good news is that I exercised today and ate well and easily went back in to full weight loss mode despite my general malaise over the last 11 days or so. That is a positive sign. Now, I just need to go back and revise the goals I set just two weeks ago. That is a post for another day as well.Here's to vacations having an end date...Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 237.4Change from previous: +6.4 (via +1.8... vacation... +5.0, +1.2, +2.0, -2.0, -1.6, same)Total: (41.0)Total Days: 177

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

So, there it is. I will not get to see sub-230 before I leave for vacation. With an early morning flight out of Denver, our plan is to power through the night without any sleep and leave the house at some ungodly hour. So, no weigh-in tomorrow or the next eight days.Down 1.0 pound from yesterday. Shy of my goal of 225 by 6 pounds and my stretch goal of 220 by 11 pounds. But still, down 47.4 pounds in about 5 months. I do know that I will board the plane tomorrow morning and be a lot more comfortable in that seat than I was that first trip to Chicago in late January. That makes me smile.So, here are my new goals (stretch goals in parentheses) for the next couple of months...July 25, return from vacation - 229.8 (227) (yes, I am not only planning on losing weight this trip, however minimal, but also planning on breaking 230 the next time I step on the scale!)August 1 - 227 (223)August 16, my birthday - 222 (217)September 1 - 217 (211)October 1 - 209 (200)Here's to a much needed vacation and not losing any momentum...Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 231.0Change from previous: (1.0)Total: (47.4)Total Days: 162

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Hello body! Hello! Today is Tuesday! Tuesday is the day that you give me a good number. Tuesday is the day that I count on you to make up for my weekend activities. Tuesday always follows a day with at least three exercise activities and good eating... all of which I did yesterday just for you. So, what happened? Why were you not good to me this morning?I fully expected to be down quite a bit this morning. I was confident that I would break 230 this morning. Instead of the 2.4 pound loss, I lost only 0.2 pounds. So, me and my body are no longer speaking this morning.I was going to publish my new stretch goals that I came up with last night. But, one of them was to be sub-230 this morning. So, based on that early miss, I will have to rethink these goals and come up with some new ones.Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 232.0Change from previous: (0.2)Total: (46.4)Total Days: 161

Monday, July 14, 2014

Up 2 pounds from Saturday morning. In my best Britney Spears' voice, "Oops, I did it again". I let myself enjoy the weekend too much. In the interest of positive attitude, I will say that I amazed that the number wasn't worse. Maybe that's more a testament to little choices I make even while making poor overall choices. Fewer chips and salsa while enjoying a great meal at The Brewery Bar. Four or five chicken wings instead of 10-20 while enjoying appetizers at the wedding I attended on Saturday night. Being able to taste a bite of the hors d'oeuvres they served at the wedding and eating no more when I realized I didn't care for something (I know, that may sound easy to you, but it has not always been easy for me). Eating fewer fries while eating at one of my fave places, Five Guys. How's that for positivity and putting a spin on things?! The result was gaining only 2 pounds when it felt like it could easily be 5!Three days until vacation. Three weigh-ins to try to get under 230. Back to it.Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 232.2Change from previous: +2.0Total: (46.2)Total Days: 160

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Down 2.2 after a lot of really good decisions yesterday! This is my new low by a pound and ever so close to breaking 230. Today, we leave to Denver to watch one of my Jumpmen basketball players get married. Congrats to Nick Haning and family! My goal for tonight's wedding was 225. So, I fell short. I will blame that weekend in Vail. But, I am still thrilled to be this close and, as a consolation prize, I will be wearing a new shirt tonight that, like many others, has been sitting in my closet brand new waiting for me to get back down to this weight. Here's to Nick Haning and Kelsey Wahl... and my new pink and gray Nike polo...Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 230.2Change from previous: (2.2)Total: (48.2)Total Days: 158

Friday, July 11, 2014

Down 0.8 from yesterday. I am now back in striking distance of my recent low (231.2) and 2.5 pounds from breaking 230. While I won't hit my goal for our vacation, I will be satisfied with being sub-230 and nearing 225. That pretty much sums up this part of my journey. A nice steady pace towards where I want to be while missing all of my goals... goals set based on a pace that was proven achievable a few years ago. I hope the slower pace will help me maintain once I get there and continue to stay positive.Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 232.4Change from previous: (0.8)Total: (46.0)Total Days: 157

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Down 0.4 pounds. Vail is still lingering in the form of candy and junk we brought back. Need to rid the house of any lingering Vail.Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 233.2Change from previous: (0.4)Total: (45.2)Total Days: 156

Monday, July 7, 2014

My weekend in Vail started off on a sour note when I woke up on Thursday morning 1.8 pounds heavier at 233.0. I should have known I was going to gain. Besides the early morning weigh-in, never a good thing, I also made the mistake of working out in the morning, working out at lunch, mowing the lawn, and eating decently all day on Wednesday. That combination of good things has consistently led to weight gains between 1-3 pounds that I have yet to fully understand. I can't blame the disappointment of my Thursday weigh-in for the events of this weekend. I simply turned on my vacation blinders and over-indulged. From the beginning to the end of the weekend, I made ill-advised choices. I wish I had a legitimate excuse besides weakness. The biggest concern is that I am about to go on a real vacation for an even longer period of time and it is disappointing that I couldn't be a little more diligent on this mini-vacation.I have been oft-criticized for being too hard on myself. And, I have tried to take a more positive approach and outlook towards this journey this time. I have recognized that a bad day or two is not the end of the world as long as I stay the course and react accordingly. I still think that attitude will bode well for me when I am back down to the weight I was three years ago. But, there is a fine line between a positive attitude and acceptance. This is why I have always maintained a little bit of that tough-love mentality. A positive attitude can easily lead to "letting go" for an entire weekend. That positive attitude... the one that says it's okay to relax a little on this mini-vacation... is the same one that says it's okay to be bad for an entire weekend. This is where I need to be careful. This is where I need to balance the positivity with a little harsh judgement.That positive attitude made it okay when Lori wanted a scoop of ice cream and the trip in to the candy/ice cream store led to me getting two scoops of ice cream on a waffle cone (I never get ice cream!), a Mallo Cup (something I haven't seen since I was a kid), and a full bag of those fruit wedges that are both sour and sweet (something I haven't seen in years). "Let it go" I told myself. It's one bad decision. Just be good the rest of the way. That positive attitude made it okay on Mexican night with our friends to eat chips and salsa, and guacamole, and pico de gallo all as appetizers. And then a burrito with beans and rice all smothered in green chile... oh, and a little more beef (no tortilla, as if that would make a huge difference at this point), with green chile... oh, and the couple of beers. I felt full. But, we walked to the July 3 fireworks display in Avon and that at least made up for some of it. Stay positive I told myself. The next day, that positive attitude allowed me to continue to eat the candy we bought the day before and any of the candy we collected at the parade that morning. It also said it was okay to eat beef jerky all weekend long. But, Friday night's dinner was going to be different. My plan was a brat with a bun and a few chips. That positive attitude allowed me to eat way too much cheese and crackers, too much artichoke and jalapeno dip and crackers, and too much ranch dip and chips. That positive attitude allowed me even more beers than the night before. That positive attitude changed my single brat in to a hamburger with half a bun and a brat without the bun, and some cole slaw. By this time, I felt sick. But, Saturday was going to be our hiking day. Saturday was going to be the day I went to Pazzo's Pizza, my one planned exception. I thought maybe I would just skip Pazzo's after the way I had eaten. But, that positive attitude made me say okay when the group excitedly talked about going to the pizza place as soon as we finished our hike. So, we went. And, I ate as good as I could for a pizza place. Instead of enjoying my one planned exception, the one thing I looked forward to, I tried to limit the damage from all of my unplanned exceptions. Okay, not the end of the world. It's a start. But, that positive attitude allowed me to go to a Mexican restaurant that evening for margaritas and chips and salsa. That positive attitude let the chips and salsa become chips, salsa, guacamole, and jalapeno cheese bean dip and the single margarita to become a pitcher.Yesterday was a little better. But, not good enough to save my weekend. So, there was little surprise this morning when I was 4 pound heavier. Much disappointment, but little surprise. In the end, knowing that it was "just" a weekend and having a positive attitude, allowed me to make decisions I never would have made if I stayed slightly angry at myself. And, that has always been my concern about the positive attitude and why I have embraced a little self-loathing. That negativity has always kept me in check. I could have used a little bit more of that this weekend. The good news is that this same positive attitude is why I am typing this blog right now. And, why I am eating good today. And, why I got up this morning to work out. And, why I am confident that I will be back to the lower 230s in days. Here's to learning how to balance my positive attitude and my self-loathing ever so slightly... especially when on vacation...Starting weight (this time): 278.4Current weight: 237.0Change from previous: +5.8 (via +1.8, +4.0)Total: (41.4)Total Days: 153

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

I'm back! After three days in the mountains backpacking and hiking, I returned to a comfortable bed last night and my friend the scale this morning. Both were extremely kind to me.

I wasn't sure what to expect this morning. Lori and I have hiked and backpacked and been disappointed afterwards when very little changed or we had gained. Sometimes, it was the food we ate to fuel us for our hikes. Sometimes, it was the food we ate immediately after as some sort of "reward" dinner. Sometimes, we had no idea. To make matters worse, when I woke up early on Sunday morning to head towards the mountains, I was up 1.8 and weighed 235.8. To make matters even worse than that, our group stopped at the Boathouse in Salida for said "reward" dinner and then my Mom invited us out to Angelo's Pizza for dinner with the family. But, I ate decently at the Boathouse and ate even better at Angelo's Pizza. Despite every muscle from our feet to our knees to our hips to our shoulders hurting and sore, we followed up our Angelo's dinner with a couple trips around the Riverwalk for a little more exercise.

I woke up this morning and debated going to the club because I was sore and tired. I got on the scale and was rewarded with a very good number, 231.8... and the realization that I needn't go to the club to be down. But, I went anyway. Because I knew that I could get even lower if I did and my body might feel less sore if I exercised.

When I returned, I weighed 231.2 and was ecstatic. Slightly closer to breaking 230. Down 2.2 from my recent low from Friday. Down 4.6 from my early morning pre-backpacking weight from Sunday. Down 47.2 overall. Down to my lowest weight since November 24, 2011, the last time I was under 230 and weighed 229.8. And, I feel great.

Here's to the mountains, the hiking, the backpacking, the views, and that number on the scale this morning being my "reward" instead of the meals afterwards...