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The best funny birthday wishes can make any birthday girl or boy gladly laugh at themselves — exactly the kind of funny birthday messages you'll find here.

You don't have to be a stand-up comedian like Amy Schumer, Louis C.K., Mo'Nique, Chris Rock or Jerry Seinfeld to write or pick funny birthday greetings. You just need a decent sense of humor.

With a wide choice of funny birthday verses on this site, it's incredibly easy to choose one that's right for the birthday girl or boy (in other words, not an offensive, insulting or abusive onslaught of bad, stupid or cruel one-liners).

Just to be on the humorous side of things, you can always check out what I think is the best way to select a funny birthday message right below.

Message Guy Tip #38:How to pick funny birthday wishes...

One of the best times to make people laugh at themselves is their birthday. Any age is fodder for humor. Birthday greetings, with a simple joke or witty turn of phrase, are enough to amuse anyone. But you don't want to go too far and offend someone. What's too far? Well...Read more ►

Whatever type of funny birthday wish you pick, make sure it isn't offensive to the recipient. Laughter is a gift, not a veiled way to insult someone special. After all, this message is for somebody's birthday, someone's special day!

The best type of funny birthday wishes contain age-related subjects, such as forgetfulness, backaches, napping, deteriorating eyesight, wrinkles, even the lack of sex.

The worst greetings have to do with the hang-ups of the birthday boy or girl. If you know what they are, stay away from them. If you aren't sure what they are, stay away from them, too! If you don't know the birthday boy or girl, stay away from funny birthday wishes altogether, because there's always a chance you'll offend them (and you won't even know it...until you get snubbed by them).

Ready to make your selection? Choose one of the messages below to tickle the funny bone of the birthday boy or girl. You can even combine them, if you think the combo would be funnier. And don't be shy: you can also change the greetings to bring out your own sense of humor in your birthday wish.

Keep in mind: You should go the serious route if the birthday boy or girl can’t take even the slightest joke. ◄ Read less

Happy birthday. Don't be sad you're a year older. Keep your chin up…if you can! Well, you know what I mean.

If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! Happy birthday!

Happy birthday. At our age, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age.

Happy birthday. At your age, you should really try to see everything as larger than life…starting with LARGE print.

Happy birthday! At our age, I don't know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we're lucky if we even remember where our car keys are!

Happy birthday! Considering all the candles on your cake, I hope you remembered to top up your fire insurance.

The birthday wish below is, to me, one of the funniest messages on the site. Here's why...
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This is one of my top picks because it expresses something older people think to themselves when they receive a compliment. In this way, this birthday wish is universal. Any person older than 40 can relate to it...without getting offended by its implications.
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Happy birthday. I guess we've reached the age when every compliment we get is typically accompanied by "for someone your age."