Sunday, August 29, 2010

Retro: Snap, Crackle, Pop...

So my last blog was on locker room etiquette and I didn't really want to do etiquette again because I do love to keep you all on your toes with my subject choices, but due to the head-shaking experience of this past weekend, I've decided to venture into what I believe to be proper grocery store etiquette.

It started with shampoo. I should've known exactly how this shopping excursion was going to go simply by the challenge shampoo proved to be. So I'm trying to get to the Garnier Fructiste shampoo (based on a recommendation from a friend because she said her hair broke off less but in my personal and professional review, it made my hair big and not soft – both not good things to be) and this lady is studying every bottle on the aisle. I understand completely this action because I do it too. Problem is: her basket. It's empty and sitting in the middle of the aisle. I say excuse me because my mama raised me right and, barely glancing my way, moves it closer to the shampoo. Um, thanks? For effect (because I'm a little irritated and possibly invisible?) I stand on the bottom edge of her cart and reach way over to grab the shampoo and conditioner I need. Apparently, only then did my invisible cape fall off, because she tries to move the cart. No, it's fine, thank you, I got what I need. Jenny: 1 Grocery store: 0

Next up are the families who shop together. First off let me point out that I FULLY support doing things together as a family. I cannot stress this enough. However, when your family count is in the double digits such as 17 or so members and you are all congregating in the middle of aisle to discuss the 37 different kinds of Chex Mix and which one best suits your family's needs, it becomes more of a roadblock than quality time. Might I suggest taking turns going down the aisles? Send kids 1, 7, and 9 for the chips, then maybe kids 3-5 over there to get the milk. Hey, it's just a suggestion. I understand that it's probably hard to find stuff to do under the $500 mark when you're that numerous, but please let's work something out. I really need those Pringles you are blocking. Jenny: 1 Grocery Store: 1

And finally we have Macaroni Joe. I give Joe 100 cool points for effort here though. He tried to stay out of the way while he researched macaroni. He really, really tried. BUT…parking your cart on one side of the aisle as close to the shelf as he could get it, and then standing on the other side of the aisle with his face 2 inches from the mac boxes kind of defeated the purpose. Poor guy. Here he is thinking he's doing a world of good by keeping the aisles clear, but now nobody can get pasta OR mac 'n' cheese. And don't you know my egg noodles were behind his cart. *sigh* I fold. Well played, grocery store. Well played.

2 comments:

Oh, you are too funny! How did I miss all these fabulous posts? You somehow slipped in under my radar, sweetie.

Nowadays, I simply move the freakin' cart over to the side myself, it happens so freakin' often. (Can you tell it's a pet peeve of mine?) I don't give them any time to move it themselves and I barely slow down.

Get the hell out of my way. I don't want to live in the grocery store, dammit.