China Outpacing US In Blacking Out-During-Interview Skills

While we’re on the subject of prepping for interviews, if you find yourself applying for a gig in China, please be advised that according to the South China Morning Post, “mainland job-seekers are increasingly required to exhibit ‘grey skills’ – binge drinking, playing mahjong and even ballroom dancing – to provide them with an edge in the market.” Several individuals took this advice to heart recently, resulting in the following scene.

Those would be the 4 men who were found passed out in Baguocheng Square earlier in the week, after they’d gone on their second round of interviews for sales jobs at an unnamed firm.

At noon, the company leader invited them for lunch. Eager to impress the boss, they competed in drinking more alcohol. In the end they were wasted. At first, they just sat on the ground chatting, but soon three of them lied down and passed out. The fourth guy leaned against a telephone pole, standing unsteadily, occasionally muttered some words out his mouth and shivered non-stop. Two of them slept while hugging each other and their backpacks. The police eventually called 120. And minutes later three men were sent to the hospital by ambulance.

Ari: Blackouts? Fuckin’ Blackouts! Thank you very much!
Mrs. Ari: The town will understand it, Ari. It’s not the movie’s fault.
Ari:: Baby… It wasn’t the Cubs’ fault when that douchebag grabbed the foul ball either, but they still don’t get the World Series’ ring. There are no asterisks in this life, only scoreboards, and ours is currently reading “FUCKED”!

Idea for E*Trade commercial: Lindsay Lohan appears on screen, wearing a tank top. She says, “Trade fast with E*Trade [or something to that effect, still working on the wording.] Don’t be a milkaholic, like me, Lindsay Lohan!” And then, with a huge grin, she rips off her top and proceeds to self-lactate herself into the camera lens. This continues for the remainder of the twenty-five seconds of the spot.

I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.

The more frequently you monitor your portfolio, the more likely you are to observe a loss. This is likely to cause short-sighted decisions and could hurt your investment performance. If you are checking your portfolio more than once per quarter, you’re doing it too much.