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Author
Topic: Is Anyone Greatful? Anyone? (Read 5670 times)

As i read post after post after post of negative spins on just about every topic one can think of, i have to ask the question. Is anyone grateful for the medication that keeps you alive? Theres plenty of you on here who bash this and bash that and its gettin kinda old. Think about where you would be if there was no medication for you to take. Instead of bitchin and complaining about everything, why not chime in and be grateful that you are alive.

As i read post after post after post of negative spins on just about every topic one can think of, i have to ask the question. Is anyone grateful for the medication that keeps you alive? Theres plenty of you on here who bash this and bash that and its gettin kinda old. Think about where you would be if there was no medication for you to take. Instead of bitchin and complaining about everything, why not chime in and be grateful that you are alive.

~Morton Salt

Morton,

I appreciate part of what you say. The world is an immeasurably better place because of the treatment options that are available to us. Note my use of the word "options".

I have to say, however, your comments have an unfortunate and high-handed tone. You're being dismissive of the horrible experiences that so many of us have as a result of HAART. As much as you have a right to sing and dance and give exalted thanks the Pharma Phairies for the Pills Which Make Life GreatTM, others have a right to bitch and moan and complain about the difficulties they face with their medications.

Whether you like it or not. It's what support forums are about.

Now don't think for a moment that Matty the Damned is saying you should keep these views (no matter how prissy they might be in his opinion) to yourself. You go right ahead and say what you like. Just remember, others are entitled to disagree with you.

No meds? First Treatments regime for you... Yah, that's easy. Walk a mile in our shoes before casting the first stone.... or sit for hours on the toilet due to explosive diarreah whilst simultaneously vomiting in the tub and you just might have a few complaints about meds too. Sometimes the line between living and just existing gets a bit blurred.

edited to add: I'm grateful for alot of things, some of which are very good and wouldn't have happened with being positive... I also feel very limited sometimes in my options and choices.

Dear Mort,I live for-real every day of my life. I live my heart, and I speak my heart. I have many things I am abjectly grateful for.I feel certain that many of the folks who share their experinces, do so in the spirit of having a safe place to vent. There are people from this very Forum, who have given of themselves to the edification of many others.I am ever more grateful to have met, and fallen in love with, the magnificient people here.Please feel free to come back to this forum in three years to revisit this subject.

Gosh, I wish I were your age again.

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No Fear No Shame No StigmaHappiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

well, i dont know about gratitude just for the meds, i have found that through acceptance of what i have, it has changed me, recently ive been told im growing resistant to meds, my disease is back in full swing, am i grateful? You betcha!!! I'm grateful im here to experience the bad days just as i am the good days. I was diagnosed in the latest stages of aids,with no hope for survival. I learned whole new levels of things such as gratitude when i came to, 3 months later, and survived. If the diagnosis of being positive doesnt change you for the better, it will change you for the worst....that choice is up to you. I have learned more gratitude and depth since diagnosis, than i have my entire life. No, i dont like taking the handful of pills, nor do i like the fact that now my disease is mutating resistance, but i'm grateful, im here to go through it.

this isnt about my gratitude though.......ask my 5 yr old if she is grateful her dad is alive. I remember the day i came to, after 3 months in the bed. My lil girl, then 3 (almost 4) sitting on the bed, coloring her daddy a picture, her tears soaking the page of the color book, they had told her as well, that i wouldnt survive......yeah i'm grateful, and the way her face glowed that day, and everyday since.....she's grateful too.

The meds are the easy part of this, educating the ignorant is the hardest part, especially when part of the ignorance is our own government. i see the world through a different set of eyes, than i had before, and for the chance to build good memories for my loved ones instead of the ones ive filled my past with...you bet your ass, im grateful......Good Luck & God Bless*

Well, I agree we are "lucky"...I simply remember all those whose died without a hope before us, and that is a tragedy...But once when you begin to feel the effects of meds on you, men is a different story...Sure they keep us alive, but they take their toll on us...I mean beaing panicked because you have a rash, or somebody tells you you look like a drug-user in your work, is not something nice... And those are the mild effects...

I am simply terrified of all those other seconday effects WWAAYY more heavy than those I experienced myself. Jesus, diarreah non-stop, vomiting, and much more serious issues are simply something like a trade-off..."I'll control hiv, but I'll destroy your (put your own body-part here)"

I hope for the day when they find some way to handle this, without messing up our lives. We are already really screwed up with all the ignorance and panic in the society for anyone of us.

Gratitude...Nice word for our right to be alive...Or at least dying without a freaking stigma on our backs...

I'm very grateful for my life. The place I was three years ago when I tested poz is not someplace I ever want to visit ever again. HIV sucks, but I don't know if I'd have finished school, become a nurse, or be as vibrant as I am at this point in my life if it didn't happen to me. We've come a long way from the days of 1983, however, we've got a long way left to go. The highest point on high will be the day we have a world without AIDS.

I'm grateful for the people who invented airbags and circuit breakers.

R

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NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Thank you Mort, Great post! I thanks the HIV Gods on a daily basis. Not a day goes by where i don't look up to heaven, and thank God and everyone who has died of Aids. I can see, feel tough and smell and hear. Oh Life is real good. And every day above ground is a good one. Thank you Mort, for bringing us all down to earth. And what a beautiful place Earth is.We are all very fortunate.

ABSOLUTELY I am grateful everyday, that I am able to take the medications, because they KEEP ME ALIVE It is not always easy dealing with some of the side effects,but,I AM ALIVE

I am also very grateful, that I have been able to live 21 years into this virus, and I remember those that didn't make it, and those that put their lives on the line, for the medications that we have available today !! Thanks for posting....

You and I must not be reading the same posts, because everyone that I have encountered here have given me the impression that they are thankful for everything. Thankful for having a disease that opened their eyes to the fact that Living is a wonderful thing, the fact that their family is very important to them, the fact that having supportive friends is the best thing in the world....

I love my life, no matter how difficult it's been. In the last couple of years, I have lost two grandparents, my husband, and my father (not to mention a couple of long time family dogs). Yet, I am thankful that those experiences have made me a stronger person for it.

I enjoy every day that is GIVEN to me, and I enjoy my daughter's company.

Try not to look at the negative all the time. Look at the positives that are hidden beneath the surface. Many times you see a 'negative' post, it's only that person's way of expressing their moment of frustration... then they are back to feeling themselves again. We ALL have to vent every now and then, trust me!! If not, we will become like a balloon with too much air and explode....

Be well, and find peace.

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The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Which posts are you referring to? I have read a lot of posts on gratefulness as well so I am not sure of what you are talking about? But while I am happy to be alive I have a right to bitch about my disease being pimped! I think most if not all people here are grateful for being alive. I think there is something if not condescending about this at least naive.Add to what Bailey said, the cost the pharmas charge while running one of the biggest lobbying groups in America.Btw should America complain about $3. gas when oil companies make world record profits ? Should people complain becuse they bought a second home thinking they would cash in on the housing market now only to find they can't pay the 2 mortgages? CheersJohnny- seeing life through a pair of rosy sunglasses and grateful I am alive to bitch!

« Last Edit: September 28, 2006, 08:58:01 AM by alisenjafi »

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"You shut your mouthhow can you sayI go about things the wrong wayI am human and I need to be lovedjust like everybody else does"The Smiths

I am grateful and appreciative of the continued advances against this disease, everyday! When I look to my 23 year old athlete friend who has cancer and is on her last legs of life, I realize how f'ucking lucky I am. Her disease has been around since the dawn of man, yet mine which has only been realized since the 80's and is much more treat-able (and with less side effects). I totally know where you're coming from and have to agree that we don't put this in perspective enough to realize how much worse it could be.

I'm grateful that a place like these forums exist because many of us have no other outlet in which to get our hiv issues off our chests. A lot of people don't have anywhere else to talk about how they're feeling - the good and the bad, but especially the bad. How many of us respond to a well meaning "how are you" with "fine, thanks", even though we're crying inside?

I'm grateful for lots of things and this place is right up there in the top ten.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I may be repeating myself here, but I don't enter the contagious arena of negativity, which can become more toxic than any disease or medication. In fact, I reject going there at all. I figure after nearly two decades, any day I wake up alive is a bonus and although some days are more of a challenge than others, overall I’m grateful for them all. I still have living left to do.

I was diagnosed HIV positive 18 years ago this month, in 1988. I was twenty-eight years old then. The doctor told me to go home and put my affairs in order because I probably only had six months left to live. Well, six months came and went, then 30 and 40 years old came and went. Now I'm 46, and guess what? I'm still here.

In my own experience, I believe I am still here (for now) through my own efforts, medical intervention, and the love and prayers of my loved ones.

Yes. I am grateful for the meds and the incredible advance researches have achieved in only 25 years. As Ann says, I am also grateful for this website and the people that are a part of it...and also for the spell check feature!

athlete friend who has cancer and is on her last legs of life, I realize how f'ucking lucky I am. Her disease has been around since the dawn of man, yet mine which has only been realized since the 80's and is much more treat-able (and with less side effects).

i agree 500 percent. well-said.

also, for Morton, your post does oddly enough help me remember to be grateful. so thank you

I too was told at 24 to get my affairs in order.. so yes, I am grateful to be 46 now and have had a career and fruitful life.. and still am! I was grateful the day AZT was released and didnt have to go to Mexico for drugs that may or may not have worked. And I am grateful for whats coming down the line. Its a road of ups and downs dear Mort.. not everyday can be a bouquet of sunshine for all people, myself included. Bear in mind that we are all here interacting for a reason.. to learn, grow,supportand love in all the good and not so good.

I certainly don't think HAART drugs are going to be fun or easy. In fact, I'm sure there's a good chance they'll have some pretty bad side effects at some point. I'm really, really grateful that I'll be starting them in 2006 vs. 1989 (or so) with AZT. Even worse would be being diagnosed back in the early '80's. I'm thankful that I'll have the chance to live for quite a long time, as opposed to all those who've passed before effective treatments existed for HIV. I'm also grateful that I have a decent job with really good insurance, good friends that are supportive, my husband, and lots of support here. I try to keep it all in perspective; it could be better (like when I was HIV-) and it could be much worse (I could be dieing from AIDS). I think a lot of us have a lot to be thankful for in general.

I believe you are confusing posts that bemoan many of our lots in life as being ungrateful and I just do not see it. I have many things to be grateful and I hope that shows in my support here. Yet, I have been poz for 22 years and I started out on AZT in 87 and since then my life has been full of challenges. So I remain grateful but I retain the right to bitch about my reality if that is what my "reality" at the time dictates.

I know you mean well, but to generalize that so much of this place is negative is both insensitive and untrue. As Ann said so well, there are many people for whom this forum is family and one of the things that family does for family is to listen to all the negative as well as the positive.

To suggest that members here lack gratitude, simply because of overwhelming challenges they face is an insult to those of us who have crawled over broken glass to retain our health. You do not know the first thing about me, so please do not insinuate what I should or should not be grateful for in life.

When I read this question yesterday; I was grateful. Today, not so much.

Gratefullness is a non-tangeble that depends largely on your station in life, the financial status that this disease might have placed you, your sensitivity/insensitivity to the medications, how many times I barfed this week, the number of times I exploded shit today, the amount and ease of real and dedicated medical care, your perceived acceptance of HIV in your body, how much food you can afford out of your impossibly low subsistance check from Social Security, your actual drive to really give a damn from day to day..................,,, so you see Morton, some of those negative and dismal threads are possibly that persons' only connection with a group of people who actually give a damn about them...... Breath....

Not particularly Grateful......

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The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,and 362 to heterosexuals.This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals, It's just that they need more supervision.Lynn Lavne

When people get pissy or vent you actually read it when you know you're going to have an unfortunate response? Not very wise, IMHO. Move along, nothing to see here, and all.

Life's worth living! Not keen on the greatful word though, it tends to imply, for me, a sense of thanks for being bestowed with something. I'm paying for these damnable poisions, so if anything, it should be mutual thanks

The purpose of forums is to problem-solve and sound off about crap things. You don't tend to hear from people that much when lifes's going good etc. The occasional whoop! or insight, but that's it usually. This I think is why lots of the posts are (a) about problems/seeking advice (b) involve justified moaning. Cos that's the purpose of a forum (= bus station). A forum is is not the journey or the destination, it's the edge of the ticket.

I will be 100% grateful for pharma's fruits when it has a globally sustainable & honest business model (retail, not hi-tech R&D which is mainly down to universities, drug co's just does the packaging) and spend money on genuine developments in new/less toxic agents rather than drugs designed to secure market advantage (Atripla). Yes, I am glad, very glad, combo keeps me alive, but my friends are dying to pay big pharma's shareholders. I have been told to my face, as it happens, by a colleague turned drug rep that I am ungrateful. I told him, come the revolution, he's first against the wall and I will shoot straight.

If this is supposed to be a feel-good bonhomie thread then I apologize, today I witnessed a miracle. Last month I bought an African Violet. I repotted it and took a leaf off. TodayI see a tiny speck of green, a new leaf is sprouting .I am sure that the people here are more than grateful for things but the truth is they rather bath in that enjoyment than run to a computer to tell everyone . It seems rather judgemental to base ones perspective of people here just from the minute time they spend posting.

On a similar token, I don't want cancer to find out that there are wonderful people with cancer, so I find it rather inane to post threads that act as if HIV is some sort of gift. Would one ask in a woman's rape victim forum , this question, or a mother who's son is coming home from Iraq with his legs blown off, or an innocent man incarcerated for life? I wish someone would explain the need to romanticize the disease. At the end of the day it is a ball and chain and yes because I have to take meds everyday I am aware I have HIV. Now if that doesn't make me sound resentful... lolJohnny

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"You shut your mouthhow can you sayI go about things the wrong wayI am human and I need to be lovedjust like everybody else does"The Smiths

I'm very grateful for all the many blessings I have in my life, including the meds that keep me alive. But I've been dealing with this 20 years and I'm tired. Just tired, that's all. I take them every day, without fail, because I know where I would be if I didn't, and I never want to go there again. But they definitely take a toll, on your mind, body and spirit.

Sorry if I sound a bit 'down' today, I generally try to remain very positive. But I'm struggling right now; struggling to keep on working, when I can't go to sleep at night; struggling with sky high blood pressure; struggling with dark thoughts that come to me at 3 a.m. when I'm wide awake and cannot fall asleep.

That's life at my place today. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

hugs,Alan

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"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Actually Matty the Damned is not grateful for the medications. HIV treatments or otherwise. The last time I checked, the pharamaceutical seemed to get paid for what they do. That seems thanks enough to this little white pervert. When was the last time a pharmaceutical company went tits up?

Similarly I feel no sense of gratitude to my army of doctors and nurses. Sure they do a great job, but they too are recompensed for their efforts. Not only that, but I believe that doctors actually take an oath about the job they do. No wonder they're such a bunch of self satisified arseholes.

People who provide services on a voluntary basis are the ones I feel deserve our gratitude.

You are right. That was kind of why I put that post about airbags etc. People get paid for what they do, thats thanks enough. Present company included.

R

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NB. Any advice about HIV is given in addition to your own medical advice and not intended to replace it. You should never make clinical decisions based on what anyone says on the internet but rather check with your ID doctor first. Discussions from the internet are just that - Discussions. They may give you food for thought, but they should not direct you to do anything but fuel discussion.

Bet this guy is grateful he doesnt have HIV... Im telling you its those buses we have to worry about... not the drugs, least that what all those without "the gift" tell us.

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LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Im not on meds yet,but Im thankful that they are available.But this is a support group,so you will hear many complaints and why not?Where else can we bitch and moan without being dissmissed as complainers or worse.Complain away guys,thats what we should do here,vent.Im gratefull for not having any big problems yet but i sympathyse with everyone going thru rough times.