UFO Hits Geese, Lands in Hudson

An intergalactic space vehicle with 150 life forms on board came down in the Hudson River off Manhattan after hitting a flock of geese yesterday. Miraculously, everyone was rescued, but several beings without exoskeletons were slightly injured and taken to New York hospitals which accept ALF health insurance.

NASA is investigating reports that the spacecraft hit a flock of birds after entering Earth’s atmosphere and buzzing Yankee Stadium. Witnesses saw the vessel make an emergency landing in the Hudson, kicking up a cloud of spray on the river.

“The Warp Drive blew. There was fire everywhere and it smelled like xenon,” said a passenger who looked like an ambulatory sea urchin. HeShe It said the pilot announced that the craft was descending rapidly and told passengers to brace for the impact. “We hit that fluid stream pretty hard. It was scary.”

“You gotta give it to the pilot-thingy. The Hive Mind made a hell of a landing,” it added, visibly shaken. Another rescued passenger who looked like a hairless anteater told CNN: “It’s just incredible that everyone’s alive.”

The pilot(s) brought the spacecraft down in the fast-moving river west of Manhattan Island. Self-propelled beings climbed onto a life raft and were rescued from there. Ferries and local water taxis that take Andromeda Express rescued most passengers before police boats arrived.

Space experts said that landing an intergalactic vehicle on water without breaking apart was extraordinary. “A water landing is typically even more destructive than an emergency ground landing. It is amazing that the spacecraft was able to land in the river without breaking up,” said a UFO investigator from New Mexico’s Spaceport America.