Why the internet is killing your sex life

A new study says our sex lives are being deflated thanks to our internet addictions. But if your modem is more attractive than your man, maybe you should be looking at your relationship, says Rosie Mullender

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It's official. We've long suspected it, but now we've got it in black-and-white – and stamped with a big pink, glittery 'OFFICAL!' (probably). According to a new study, social networking is bad for our sex lives. First it was bad for them because we all logged onto Friends Reunited (remember Friends Reunited?), discovered our exes were still hot, and ran off with them.

Then it was bad for our sex lives because a little while ago, boffins at Harvard University discovered posting information about ourselves online ("I'm eating toast. LOL!") triggers the same reward centres in our brains as sex. OK, so the pleasure comes in smaller doses, but whack a 1970s filter on 30 pictures of your cat and you're halfway to an orgasm!*

Now, it turns out that we're going to bed 90 minutes later than ten years ago – not to indulge in super-hot sex marathons, but to hunker down under the duvet with Twitter or Facebook. 46% of adults who now drop off at midnight instead of 10.30 admit they use the time to go online, with 15% claiming it's affected how much sex they're having.

If you're not a Twitter / Facebook / whatever addict, this might seem a bit ridiculous to you. But as someone who gets palpitations if her phone's out of sight for more than 15 seconds, I can see how the internet can put a slight dent in your love life.

When I first got hooked on Twitter, my boyfriend suddenly couldn't get a look in. While we'd once spent evenings snuggling up together before heading to bed, I'd look up from my phone blinking, in a daze, as he tugged me reluctantly towards the bedroom at the end of the evening.

Unsurprisingly, he got fed up with me having an affair with my phone – but I realised that if my phone was so alluring, maybe it wasn't the internet's fault. Maybe we simply needed to shake up our love life a bit.

The internet can also put a dampener on relationships if you disagree on boundaries. I regularly chat to men on Twitter, entirely innocently. But a three-year banterthon with a man you've never met from Yorkshire can seem a bit weird to a boyfriend who doesn't quite get it, and can look in on your conversation any time he wants.

But again, maybe that's not the internet's fault. I'm fiercely loyal and would like to think that future boyfriends will trust me when it comes to the people I talk to on Twitter – and if they don't, maybe there's something more wrong with the relationship rather than with my innocent chats with strangers.

It seems that if the internet is ruining your sex life, it's similar to an affair - although running off with another lover / Twitter isn't ideal, it might be a symptom rather than a cause of existing problems in a relationship. Plus in my time online, I've managed to bag two boyfriends. And if using social networking to lure men into bed isn't good for your sex life, I don't know what is.

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