Sexuality and health

Sunday, 23 December 2007

It's really not that big of a leap to assume that general "good health" practices adhered to by the average male will also help ensure a healthy sex life. In the case of male sexuality, the phrase "you are what you eat" is taking on a whole new meaning according to new studies which strongly tie heart health and the absence of obesity to the absence of impotence and other similar sexual dysfunctions in men.

In a newly released comprehensive study which followed over 22,000 men in the United States for 14 years, the findings confirmed what we all pretty much knew, that lifestyle choices are strongly linked to the risk of erectile dysfunction in men.

While common sense tells us that our lifestyle choices, such as exercise and diet habits, have strong influences on both our overall mental and physical health, there was never really a strong body of research to back this hypothesis up in the sexual health department. Well, now there is - at least for men.

Of the 22,000 men in the study, those men who were considered clinically obese when the study started, were found to be 90% more likely to develop some sort of erectile dysfunction than the slimmer, or normal range men. Not only that, but another lifestyle choice, smoking, was shown to increase a man's risk of sexual dysfunction by 50% when compared to non smoking males.

Interestingly enough, researchers have noted that sexual dysfunction in men used to be thought of as primarily a psychological rather than physiological issue, but this new research confirms that many of the lifestyle choices that are correlated to physical health, and more importantly heart health, are also strongly linked to a healthy sex life for men.

If you think about this relationship, it does make sense though really, since both heart health and erectile health are linked to a healthy blood flow, which is influenced greatly by the lifestyle factors of obesity, smoking and exercise.

It seems like they thought of everything in this study, and just as well, since it is the largest group of test subjects to date on sexual health studies for men. Regular cardiovascular exercise was also shown to protect against erectile issues in the exercisers vs. the non-exercisers in this study.

The men who reported they took part in the most consistent and highest levels of exercise were roughly 30% less likely to develop erectile dysfunction over the study's 14 years than their sedentary counterparts.

Hopefully these new findings will help to lead men to a healthier lifestyle, since it has produced convincing and clear evidence that a healthy lifestyle also leads to a healthy and active sex life, a major driving biological force in men.

Knowing that they have more than just their health at risk may dramatically raise health awareness and solidify the belief that a healthy lifestyle is essential to so many key factors of living a happy and fulfilling life.

Danna Schneider is the founder of http://www.Herbal-Therapeutics.com , a resource for herbal remedies and supplements which improve quality of life. She has been involved in reviewing and writing about herbal products as well as beauty products for years now, and is the proprietor of several popular natural health and beauty websites.

Almost everybody starts thinking about sex only after substantial supper, good glass of wine or sizable bonus at work. Disputes on this topic can last endlessly. Nevertheless the one thing remains absolutely clear: there is always space for sex. Specialists contend that sex influences all the spheres of our life, and it’s reckless to take sex as something secondary and optional.

Personality: Confidence in that she is loved and desired makes any woman calm, kind and cheerful. Appearance: During intimacy female organism produces hormones that extend her youth and improve skin color. Moreover, male sperm contains proteins, enzymes and hormones, which make an original “preserving agent” of female youth. Health: The intercourse trains heart, lungs and vessels as effectively as a half-hourly run.

Specialists warn: long-term sex continence is dangerous for your health. For men there is a risk of congestion and inflammatory reactions in genitals. Even if you avoid it the end is the same – impotence, since every week of sex abstinence leads to detraining and, after all, to atrophy of “love” organs. Modern technologies have given us many qualitative sex devices like dolls and vaginas designed specially for sexual tension release.

Though, if in respect of men statistics work out by 60%, in relation to women it is less indulgent. Abstaining women suffer from breast cancer two times more often. Thus, in order to avoid risk group the woman shall sleep in arms of her beloved at least 1-2 times a week. Furthermore, there is a good deal of sex toys that will help you if you do not have a sex partner or don’t want intimacy for some reason.

Stumbling blocks

Now, when we understand the importance of sex, let’s determine the major obstacles to intimate harmony. Failed first experience: if it brought you nothing except pain, shame and disappointment it would be rather difficult to overstep this in future. Constraint, uncertainty and shyness can restrain the process of sexual maturity. An adult woman with such complexes has a chance to remain sexually “unexposed”. In this case specialists recommend self-practicing with sex devices available in any sex shop. Perverted view on quality sex: If your friend, asserting that she experiences up to 8 orgasms per day is for you an example to follow, there is nothing strange in that your life seems unlucky.

There is no place for scoring in sex: as soon as you start calculating your records harmony goes off.

There are many ways of the “three-together-sex” but compulsory rules of this game are not so numerous. The “threesome” sex differs from traditional one and involves imagination and sensitiveness of the participants.

Planning threesome you should conceive (at least roughly) what you are going to do in bad. Sex-trio is possible in various variants but the most popular one is two women and one man. Some basic principles will help you avoid traditional, in such cases, mistakes and save your face before the two beautiful women, one of which can be your wife or intimate friend.1. ESTABLISH RULESMutual understanding and respect are essential. Make each other feel comfortable.In case one of the women is your permanent partner, be prepared for your future relation changeover. I.e., it’s better to stipulate in advance the actions she wants you to undertake and the actions she definitely won’t stand. You should respect her restrictions. Remember that any woman can experience a sudden jealousy assault; therefore you’d better not to provoke her. Moreover, you yourself can become jealous. All three participants should remember that the goal of the game you are about to play is to share sex without hurting someone “third”.2. DO EVERYTHING YOU CANSurely you wait that the two women you are going to have sex with will give all their attention exclusively to you. In fact they are most likely to please not only you but each other as well. As a result, you may feel desolate and lonely. The best way-out here is to forget all your negative emotions and properly use your hands and mouth.Pleasure from the twosome sex is of two-sided nature: you’re pleasing her she’s pleasing you. In a threesome sex the geometry somewhat changes: you’re getting into a circle where the impulse passes from one person to another. Be attentive, don’t forget to please both and you will be generously repaid.3. DON’T BE IDLEIf you notice that both women are carried away with each other and there is absolutely nothing for you to do - do anything anyway. Take up breasts, hips or even vagina of one or both women; kiss their buttocks and necks, initiate cunnilingus if possible.If you want to please yourself it’s also rather useful: very quickly your sex partners will want to help you get pleasure.4. BE ATTENTIVEIntercourse is the beginning of ending. Penetration into one of the women automatically leaves another aside. I.e., before doing that, make sure that both women feel absolutely comfortable.Naturally you may want to focus exclusively on the woman you’re penetrating – don’t do that. Remember that everything happening in bad concerns all the participants. Kiss another woman, touch her, look into her eyes.Nevertheless slow down with orgasm. Everybody should be satisfied: even if you have finished, put all your efforts to bring both women to orgasm.Having plunged into the state of complete bliss that comes after sex, don’t forget that threesome sex is pure pleasure but in no way serious relations. It means that if one of the women is your permanent partner then another one is most unlikely to sleep in your bad. Don’t forget that “love triangle” is a direct way to crash.Your wife or girlfriend shouldn’t worry. Tell her it was she who stirred you most of all and you couldn’t stop looking when she was petting your guest; you need nobody but her since she is your major pleasure. If you manage to persuade her that the three-together-sex poses no hazard to your relations, in future you will have opportunities to repeat these experiments.

One obvious erogenous zone comes to mind and we will cover that, but there are many others that are often neglected!

Your tongue is a wonderful tool to show your love and passion for your partner, here we will look at techniques that will drive your partner wild by targeting the right female erogenous zones in the right way.

The French Kiss

Let’s start with the French kiss.

It’s a known fact that women most women don’t think their men kiss enough, but it is actually one of the top female erogenous zones.

So what is the right way to French Kiss? Well, the fact is there is no right way to do it, but there are three points you need to keep in mind as all female erogenous zones are different:

1. Do it with passion and make sure that your tongue constantly is moving. Either fast or slow. You will soon know which style your partner prefers by the way her mouth responds to yours.

2. Variety! Make sure your kisses are varied and that your partner does not know what to expect each time.

3. Tease your partner and make sure that your body as well as your head is responsive – Show how much you want her.

The neck

This is a top female erogenous zone, after French kissing if you really want to signal that you love and want her - Kiss and nibble her neck – This will make her extremely aroused.

Breasts

The breast are another well known female erogenous zone.

Most women simply love having their nipples sucked kissed and nibbled. Take your time here and listen to her reactions to the way she likes it best.

Stomach and lower back

These areas are underrated female erogenous zones take you time here lick and kiss. Many women simply love having a man’s tongue run down their spine and have the end of the spine area kissed and caressed.

Cunnilingus

The top female erogenous zone!

When you have warmed her up with the above techniques, its time to concentrate on this area

Start, by licking her vaginal entrance up her clitoris, following the outer edges of her vagina covering both sides, going up and down.

Hold The Labial by holding both parts together with your lips, move your tongue between the inner and outer labia one side at a time over and over.

The majority of the nerve endings in a vagina are around the opening and within the first two inches of the opening.

Go for them with your tongue, by inserting it into the vagina, then lick in circular motions combined with flicking of your tongue.

Spread her outer vaginal lips then with your tongue stiff, lick and flick your tongue across the clitoris and up into the vagina.

Expose her clitoris by spreading her lips and gently pull back her hood, then suck the clitoris (be very gentle) and then let it go. This can be a real turn on and will be very frustrating for her.

Take the clitoris in your mouth and suck on it gently, at the same time flick your tongue around it. This can be done lightly or hard or a combination of the two and is a big turn on for most women.

The alphabet

Using your tongue spell out the letters of the alphabet, this is very exciting as your tongue is moving in lots of different ways and is a turn on due to the element of constant surprise.

PS: Remember the letters she likes for next time! The bottom.

Most women are extremely sensitive about their bottoms and there is no better way to show how much you love her than to kiss and lick. This female erogenous zone is one that all women will appreciate being targeted.

Feet & Legs

The feet are incredibly sensitive and sucking her toes and licking her feet are seen by many as a common female erogenous zone. But, don’t forget the back of the knees which have an incredible number of nerve endings.

If you are warming her up for Cunnilingus, moving up her legs slowly is exciting as she knows where all this is leading! When you get to the inner thighs take your time and make her wait.

The anticipation will drive her wild!

Above you have some great female erogenous zones to target.

Keep in mind the following do it with passion, take your time and constantly surprise her. Variety and passion are the keys to targeting ANY female erogenous zone.

No ancient society’s daily habits and sexual preferences have been more recorded than those of the ancient Greeks. The Greeks were sexually liberated, and would even seem open minded by today’s standards.

Here we look at an overview of their sexual preferences and the backdrop against which these were molded as well as their favorite positions.

When we speak about sexual practice in Ancient Greece, it would have to be from the male’s point of view. Women unfortunately had no rights whatsoever, and fell into one of three categories:

Wife, concubine, and prostitute.

Wives were for having children and bringing them up; concubines were for men’s pleasure, and prostitutes for sexual satisfaction.

The Greeks called their prostitutes hetaera (or educated and groomed prostitutes) which were very expensive, highly sought out after, and famous in their own right.

The common prostitutes were called chamaitype (or dirt doers).

Sex with a hetaera cost much money, depending on her popularity, and education, and in some respects was a predecessor of the Japanese Ghisha.

We find the sexual positions used by the hetaera on ceramic vases and very graphically recorded as well. We know, for instance they did not like fellacio, and were loathe to perform it, and usually had to be beaten into submission to do so.

The charmaitype were a different matter. They had to do what they did, “in the dirt” as they had no beds, or room to offered. They are depicted also in ceramic works as either performing rear entry “doggy-style” (but with some modification, see below), or “on all fours” on the ground, also a rear entry position.

There is little to no mention about the sexual lives of the Greek wives.

They were used for labor, bearing children, and the home. The Greek men used their homes as hotels, basically returning only to sleep.

A Favorite Sexual Position for the Hetaera

In one famous vase on display at the British Museum, a hetaera is depicted mounted upon her lover’s lap, facing him, and being assisted by two slave girls in rising and falling upon her man’s penis. The man is reclining on a devan in a semi-sitting position. This may be duplicated easily enough (without the slave girls!) if the man with his hands on his lover’s waist or buttocks, steadies her and assists in the up and down movement. As this was used by highly professional women on their selective clientele, it may be safely assumed it is very pleasurable.

The Two Positions of the Chamaitype

If we are to believe Homer, the meeting between the Greek man and a temple prostitute might begin with a beating (as she would not consent readily to fellacio). Obviously that part must be omitted in today’s more liberated society.

The first position is a standing, modified doggy-style. The woman appears to be holding on to a tree trunk or other fixed object to steady herself. Her legs are spread apart, longer than shoulder length, the man enters from the rear, near erect. He has placed his hands on the top or sides of her buttocks, and appears to be assisting the thrusting. From the imagery, it appears to be a very good G-spot stimulation technique. The vase artist had carefully painted half-smile on the prostitute’s face, so she was obviously enjoying what was going on.

The second position was called in Greek, cyon (or the ‘dog’, and from whence the name doggy-style obviously originated), and he woman is on all fours. In one pose her torso is pointing downward, and the man has entered from the rear. He is pictured as erect, and hands placed on the back of the buttocks, obviously for assisting the thrusting movement. In the second pose, the woman’s torso is parallel to the ground, with her arms fully extended supporting her body. The man is erect again, hands on her back.

The Greeks were liberated sexually as you can see from the above information and there are plenty of historical documents that exist today to tell us a great deal about one of the most sexually liberated people of their day.

For more free info On sex in ancient Greece and a variety of sexual subjects including sexual health and getting more from sex please visit: http://www.net-planet.org/sexhealth

No matter how you got in, the boss’s office is one of the sexiest places ever and having sex in the office is a very common fantasy.

Here we will look at the best positions and how if you are lucky enough to put your fantasy into practice how you can enjoy the moment to its fullest.

The three sexual positions work well here and of course in any similar environment.

The smell of the leather furniture, the cleanliness of the place, the number of chairs and sofas to use for places for sex is exciting and irresistible.

There are the famous 3 positions for sex that have no equal, and will beat any bedroom action for sure.

Some foreplay is called for here, and you can warm up the mood with oral sex.

Foreplay

We suggest beginning with cunnilingus, as fellatio easily turns into a positive penetration. For this cunnilingus, sit in the boss’s chair and have the lady sit on the desk in front of you.

Gently and sexily remove her panties to expose her genital area. Usually the window will be to the boss’s back view, so the light (if it’s daytime) will give you a great view.

Perform cunnilinugus with special attention to the clitoral area, and if possible, insert two fingers into her vagina and find the G-Spot.

Lick her until you achieve the first orgasm, which means about 20 minutes work. Be gentle and thoughtful. Your rewards are coming.

Its time to move to your fellatio and the best is to continue to sit on the bosses chair and have the lady now kneel before you. Try not to finish…but let it continue a good five minutes. Then more on the first sexual position, still sitting on the boss’s chair.

On the Throne

Here the man sits in the boss’s chair (you might even be the boss himself) and the woman will mount him, her legs apart, and facing him, sit directly on his penis.

The man needs to help the woman rise and move, and this is done by just placing your hands on sides of her buttocks, and as she moves, just help.

What a feeling, as this is really deep penetration and you are rubbing up against the G-Spot and if you can, the T-Zone.

If you are the man, try to hold yourself orgasm back and move on to the next position.

On the Desk

Place the woman as she was during cunnilingus, but now stand and push her legs back half way to her breast.

Now standing in front of her, penetrate her and begin your thrusting. Try the Chinese thrust technique of 8 short thrusts and then one massive and deep one.

Your partner will groan with pleasure. Her second or third orgasms is coming, but if you can, hold on. Move to the last position.

On the Sofa

The office sofa is usually overstuffed, and very soft.

It will have padded armrests, so depending on the design, try to put the woman over the arm face down on to the sofa seat, with her genital area exposed for a rear entry position.

Get her high enough so the man can stand and thrust.

Here you have also the ability to place your hands on her hips, and give your thrusting real resistance (as you pull her back into your thrust). This is the last position, the man is about an hour into the work, and it is time to finish.

The man’s orgasm, after the two previous positions and fellatio, will be profound and long lasting.

Afterwards

It’s a very good idea to get the office back to normal, even if you are the boss, as the office is a public place and private actions have a way of getting into circulation quickly!

If you can, relax together on the sofa as well, and you will certainly agree that sex in the boss’s office was a rewarding, memorable, and very sexy experience.

We have used the example of the boss’s office as this is a fantasy of many but of course, these positions work well in any similar environment.

Why would anyone want to buy and use a sex toy? There are many reasons, some being that they:• Add fun to sex life; they can be used during intercourse, foreplay or both.• Make a great partner substitute. While woman/man is separated from a partner, or have no current partner, she or he can be satisfied without having to cheat/.• Are a great way to receive stimulation that may otherwise be difficult to sustain.• Reach places that a partner may not be able to reach.• Can assist in situations where one partner requires more attention than the other is able to give.• Are great for those times when one partner “wants to” and the other partner doesn’t or can’t.• Promote good health. An orgasm releases stress and tension.Some ways sex toys can be used to pleasure women are:Clitoral StimulationThere are many women who cannot achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Toys can provide extra stimulation that touching or oral sex does. Anyone using a vibrator will tell you that they often induce the most intense orgasms. The toy can bring a woman to orgasm in as little as a few minutes.Multiple OrgasmsMost women using sex toys quickly learn that they can achieve multiple orgasms. Depending on the toy, there are many different kinds of orgasms. A vaginal orgasm is very different from a clitoral orgasm, which again is very different from an anal orgasm. Imagine having a toy that can help you achieve all three in one night, or even better, all three at the same time, repeatedly.Some ways sex toys can be used to pleasure men are:Creating OrgasmsVibrating toys can be used to help a man achieve orgasm. These orgasms are often easy to come by, intense, and can come in multiples.Improving OrgasmsWhether with a partner, or by himself, a vibrating toy can be used to improve masturbation, oral sex, and even intercourse. Play with sex toys does not in any way question a man’s sexuality, but can bring him into a world of orgasms so intense that he will be exhausted afterwards.For most people, choosing a sex toy is a very personal experience. From large and powerful, to small and dainty, there are sex-toys for everyone; they are available in every conceivable type, shape, size and price.

Prostitution has been called "the world's oldest profession". That truth is based on a power imbalance which derives from the physical nature of human bodies. Simply put, women have an opening in their bodies that men need permission to get into and whenever permission is required for something important, the person who gets to give permission has power over the person who has to ask for permission. Furthermore, women have several other physical features that men strongly desire, while men really only have one major feature that women truly need. The result of that power imbalance is that women can almost always get some kind of sex when they want it and men cannot do the same thing. If a woman walks into a bar or club and beckons "come here" with her first finger, every man who can still stand up will jump at the opportunity. If a man were to do the same thing, the female yawn would be deafening.

In ancient Greece, a classic play was written called "The Trojan Women". It took place in the City of Troy, and at that time, all the men were warriors who were constantly leaving their wives to go off to fight in various battles in foreign lands. The Greek wives in those days did not even think about cheating on their husbands and like all women, they had powerful sexual needs but their needs could not be met because their husbands were not there to do it for them. As their sexual frustration increased to an intolerable level, they became more and more unhappy about the situation. One day the wives called a city meeting to discuss their problem and they all agreed on a very simple solution. They decided to withhold all sexual favors from their husbands until every single one of the men agreed to stop going off to war once and for all. When the husbands came home to their wives and wanted to have sex with them, they couldn't believe the situation they were confronted with. Of course they got extremely angry and even violent about it. But every single one of the wives stuck to the agreement they had made with each other and none of them surrendered to their violent husbands. The eventual result was that the husbands caved in to the will of their wives and they all agreed to stop the wars. Too bad American women are not prepared to do the same thing.

Many people believe that men have the power in this world simply because they are bigger than woman and physically stronger than women. Of course, men have always been willing to use their overwhelming physical strength to dominate and control women. But while it is generally true that men are physically stronger than women, there is an even more powerful truth behind that truth which was dramatized by "The Trojan Women". Have you ever heard the old saying, "Behind every powerful man, there is a woman"? Hitler had Eva Braun, and even Mickey Mouse had Minnie. Exceptions to that rule are male homosexuals who achieve positions of power and a very few powerful men who never marry or have long term relationships.

Ever since the beginning of recorded human history, men have found two simple solutions to their problem of intolerable sexual frustration. I don't include happily married men who are able to maintain their marriages without ever cheating, but I am including the married men who do cheat. The vast majority of divorces are directly related to infidelity, and most of it is committed by men. One solution men found before recorded history began is rape, which they do not need permission for, and male anger over the power imbalance is certainly one of the reasons behind rape. Please don't mistake me - I believe rape is an inexcusable violation of women's natural human rights. The other solution for men is prostitution and it is extremely common for men to use prostitutes so that they can live out fantasies which they cannot or will not enjoy with their wives. Women discovered that they could use the power imbalance to solve a big problem for themselves, and it's not a sexual problem. Throughout history, women were simply not allowed by men to earn money by working at a job but they could make money secretly by being prostitutes. An unspoken agreement was formed which worked for both sides and that's the reason why prostitution has flourished in all societies even though it is almost always against the law. Nowadays women are able to earn money by using their non-sexual talents and abilities, but many women still choose to do it by renting their bodies and that's self evident because of the great number of very intelligent prostitutes. I'm not saying that prostitution is an easy job, but historically it was the only money making job available to women.

Pornography is a relatively new development in human history because it really began to flourish after the development of the Kodak camera. Prior to the invention of photographs, all that existed were drawings created by horny men who were not very good artists. Many women believe that pornography is all about degradation of women by men who are exploiting them. Betty Page, the very first photographed "pin-up girl", would have disputed that theory from her own personal experience. Betty discovered that she was extremely turned on by being photographed in sexy poses. Men quickly discovered an almost universal desire to look at photographs of nude women. Almost immediately after Betty's photos were published, many other women discovered the same desire in themselves and began to fantasize about being able to do the same thing that Betty did.

Hugh Hefner was in the right place at the right time with the right concept, and he accumulated an enormous fortune by publishing the first mass magazine that featured beautiful nude women. Do you remember who the first centerfold was? It was Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn was already becoming a movie star and she certainly didn't need to put herself out to the public that way. Within a very short amount of time, other pornographic magazines sprung into existence because so many men were jealous of Hefner and were attempting to do the same thing. There was never a shortage of willing female models and it's ridiculous to believe that all of them allowed themselves to be degraded. By the late 1970's, video production exploded and pornography moved into the new medium because it is so much more expressive than photographs can possibly be. Many female pornographic superstars were created by the new medium. Just ask Annie Sprinkes, Candy Samples, or Ushi Digart why they participated in so many of the early classic porno videos. Their answers would be the same, and Annie is actually a philosopher on the subject. Annie believes that it's all about female self expression that results in freedom and independence from male domination.

One serious problem for prostitutes has traditionally been how to get paying clients without the risk of physical danger. The newest solution to that problem is the internet. The number of women who have posted pornographic photos to the internet is beyond calculation and there are a prodigious number of prostitutes who have discovered its safe marketing power. By using the internet, many prostitutes are able to earn well over $100,000 per year and they don't even have to accept a client who does not physically attract them. Talk about sexual power! There are countless personal web sites where women are collecting clients like Japanese fishermen who drag mile long nets through the ocean picking up every single fish who are caught by the net (net pun intended).

Just in case you thought the route to sexual bliss was straightforward, here's a list of things to avoid. They're all pretty much guaranteed passion killers for a woman - and if your check list contains more than ten of these, you've got some serious work to do on your sexual etiquette!

1 Going straight for the naughty bits

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it's sexy

She may not agree with you. In which case it will just be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you thought you were summoning up.

7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor

If you're over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously under sixteen.

8 Not shaving before sex

When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn't so sexy, but at least it'll produce a red rash she can remember you by.

9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex

If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover whose personal hygiene isn't up to scratch. Even though men have a higher smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean - especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) - is not just a matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.

10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked

Pretty much the same point we already made up above, but worth remembering: touch doesn't just have to be in the bedroom, a prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the day, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.

11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she's ready

This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of what's to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.

12 Dropping the condom on the floor

Must we say why this isn't the most popular move post sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue - put it in the bin rather than down the toilet, or it's likely to float there for some time to come as a reminder of your sexual encounter.

13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation

Like we said above, most women just find this irritating - and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when she's aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more acceptable for her than any pressure on the head of her clitoris.

14 Breaking off just as she's getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs

Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she's lying there quietly may actually mean she loves what you're doing; if so, you should feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she'd rather be out shopping.

15 Undressing her clumsily

Listen up guys: you don't have to be able to take her bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my experience, it's better if you don't try. She probably puts it on by fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the garments you don't understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand, undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you're ripping the paper off a birthday present.

Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.

17 Expecting her to shave for you

You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva, but she's more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask her nicely if you'd like her to go smooth. If she says "no", accept that graciously.

18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she's ready, willing and able

In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick things up there, is just as well. However, she'll only want you to do this when the time is right - i.e. when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. If you're giving her clitoris attention, there'll be a point where she might like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you don't know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into bed.

19 Entering her without asking her first

What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn't want to enjoy intercourse then don't press the point. This applies especially to any strategy that involves nudging your penis into position and then pressing forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise! Having said that, you don't always need to ask "May I enter you?" though it can be a romantic and sexy thing to do if you're looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, that's most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way, remains everyone's most popular position for sex.

20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in

This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.

20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure

When you've achieved your most desired objective, and your penis is inside her, you'll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it's best to start slow and shallow. While you're making love, she'll most appreciate your efforts if you're masculine and strong - which is to say, if you act like you know what you're doing, you're considerate and gentle at first, and work up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.

21 Expecting her to make love bottom up

Yes, we all enjoy rear entry. But she may be more self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. "It's incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love", rather than "I get so turned on fucking from behind") she'll probably co-operate from time to time, even if it's only on your birthday and hers.

22 Thrusting too hard

If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.

22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex

There aren't many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation". See also number 26.

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".

24 Asking her how it was for her

This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you really want some feedback, phrase it thus: "Did you prefer it when I did X or Y?"

25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure

Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most men, this seems unlikely. But if it's a question of the smell or taste being a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you just want her to fellate you and you simply can't be bothered to reciprocate with cunnilingus, then reading these tips isn't going to help you much anyway.

26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly

Remember the motto: "Women come first!" As a man, you're probably going to lose interest in sex once you've ejaculated - at least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do you. (With the added bonus that it doesn't matter so much if you shoot quite quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn't want to be one of those, now would you?

27 Trying to force her head towards your cock

Let's face it: she's either willing to give your oral sex or she's not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If she doesn't seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her: "There's something you could do that'd give me so much pleasure....."

28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she's giving you oral

Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to be considerate about it. She's not likely to be a deep throat expert, and there's no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from her head unless it's to gently stroke her hair, and you won't feel the temptation to encourage her to go deeper.

29 Holding her head when she goes down on you

Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think that's acceptable sexual etiquette you've been watching too many of the wrong kind of films.

30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it's OK

The taste of semen is very much an acquired taste; unfortunately it's one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn't like it, ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you're going to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand. You'll get just as much pleasure, and she won't have to gag or spit your semen out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you're going to come is not permitted.

31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life

Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like that, OK?

32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her

Even if you find it arousing, she's not likely to, for the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive.

33 Apologizing for the size of your penis

Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.

34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like

Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn't really believe it, that's what she wants to hear.

35 Asking her if she'd mind if her girlfriend joined you

Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don't want their partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing before you try this one.

36 Making her do all the work

Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions, have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don't just settle for one favorite position and flog it to death.

37 Trying to slip it in the back door by "accident"

Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have tried than you'd believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn. It's something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it. She's not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you're poking her anus by accident. And she won't believe you if you tell her you just didn't want to ask for directions, even if that's how you are when you're driving around lost, looking for somewhere.

38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking

Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify, taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years' time.

39 Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex

Above almost everything else (except possibly being deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You'll be surprised just how exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a new perspective of your partner's body, or perhaps allows you to see entering your partner's body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size and shape of your penis and her vagina.

40 Not romancing her

Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

41 Slapping her buttocks without checking if she's into a little dominance play

No mater how exciting you may find the idea, don't land a heavy slap on her butt without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls.

42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)

Don't copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.

43 Playing with her anus before she's excited enough to appreciate it

When you're masturbating her clitoris, and you have a finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may well add to her excitement - especially if she's on the verge of orgasm. If you try this before she's really excited and has stopped caring what's happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.

44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come

An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won't let you do it a second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you're prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.

45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it

Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*** her hot wet c*** you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you're making love, and see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!

46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms

Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.

47 Ejaculating on her without asking permission

Coming between her breasts or on her vulva or bottom can be incredibly exciting, but it's nice to ask her first. She may see it less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.

48 Not controlling your ejaculation

Like we said before, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.

49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex

A man who gets up after he's done the business and sets about his daily routine is probably top of most women's sexual dislikes. For her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner. She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to know she's loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do is to spend a half hour or so cuddling her while you relax after making love, even if you're not going to spend the night with her.

50 Not cleaning up after sex

And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you aren't using condoms.

There you go! And if you've got any more sexual tips for sexual success, send them to us at the email address in the box below.

Prostitution has been called "the world's oldest profession". That truth is based on a power imbalance which derives from the physical nature of human bodies. Simply put, women have an opening in their bodies that men need permission to get into and whenever permission is required for something important, the person who gets to give permission has power over the person who has to ask for permission. Furthermore, women have several other physical features that men strongly desire, while men really only have one major feature that women truly need. The result of that power imbalance is that women can almost always get some kind of sex when they want it and men cannot do the same thing. If a woman walks into a bar or club and beckons "come here" with her first finger, every man who can still stand up will jump at the opportunity. If a man were to do the same thing, the female yawn would be deafening.

In ancient Greece, a classic play was written called "The Trojan Women". It took place in the City of Troy, and at that time, all the men were warriors who were constantly leaving their wives to go off to fight in various battles in foreign lands. The Greek wives in those days did not even think about cheating on their husbands and like all women, they had powerful sexual needs but their needs could not be met because their husbands were not there to do it for them. As their sexual frustration increased to an intolerable level, they became more and more unhappy about the situation. One day the wives called a city meeting to discuss their problem and they all agreed on a very simple solution. They decided to withhold all sexual favors from their husbands until every single one of the men agreed to stop going off to war once and for all. When the husbands came home to their wives and wanted to have sex with them, they couldn't believe the situation they were confronted with. Of course they got extremely angry and even violent about it. But every single one of the wives stuck to the agreement they had made with each other and none of them surrendered to their violent husbands. The eventual result was that the husbands caved in to the will of their wives and they all agreed to stop the wars. Too bad American women are not prepared to do the same thing.

Many people believe that men have the power in this world simply because they are bigger than woman and physically stronger than women. Of course, men have always been willing to use their overwhelming physical strength to dominate and control women. But while it is generally true that men are physically stronger than women, there is an even more powerful truth behind that truth which was dramatized by "The Trojan Women". Have you ever heard the old saying, "Behind every powerful man, there is a woman"? Hitler had Eva Braun, and even Mickey Mouse had Minnie. Exceptions to that rule are male homosexuals who achieve positions of power and a very few powerful men who never marry or have long term relationships.

Ever since the beginning of recorded human history, men have found two simple solutions to their problem of intolerable sexual frustration. I don't include happily married men who are able to maintain their marriages without ever cheating, but I am including the married men who do cheat. The vast majority of divorces are directly related to infidelity, and most of it is committed by men. One solution men found before recorded history began is rape, which they do not need permission for, and male anger over the power imbalance is certainly one of the reasons behind rape. Please don't mistake me - I believe rape is an inexcusable violation of women's natural human rights. The other solution for men is prostitution and it is extremely common for men to use prostitutes so that they can live out fantasies which they cannot or will not enjoy with their wives. Women discovered that they could use the power imbalance to solve a big problem for themselves, and it's not a sexual problem. Throughout history, women were simply not allowed by men to earn money by working at a job but they could make money secretly by being prostitutes. An unspoken agreement was formed which worked for both sides and that's the reason why prostitution has flourished in all societies even though it is almost always against the law. Nowadays women are able to earn money by using their non-sexual talents and abilities, but many women still choose to do it by renting their bodies and that's self evident because of the great number of very intelligent prostitutes. I'm not saying that prostitution is an easy job, but historically it was the only money making job available to women.

Pornography is a relatively new development in human history because it really began to flourish after the development of the Kodak camera. Prior to the invention of photographs, all that existed were drawings created by horny men who were not very good artists. Many women believe that pornography is all about degradation of women by men who are exploiting them. Betty Page, the very first photographed "pin-up girl", would have disputed that theory from her own personal experience. Betty discovered that she was extremely turned on by being photographed in sexy poses. Men quickly discovered an almost universal desire to look at photographs of nude women. Almost immediately after Betty's photos were published, many other women discovered the same desire in themselves and began to fantasize about being able to do the same thing that Betty did.

Hugh Hefner was in the right place at the right time with the right concept, and he accumulated an enormous fortune by publishing the first mass magazine that featured beautiful nude women. Do you remember who the first centerfold was? It was Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn was already becoming a movie star and she certainly didn't need to put herself out to the public that way. Within a very short amount of time, other pornographic magazines sprung into existence because so many men were jealous of Hefner and were attempting to do the same thing. There was never a shortage of willing female models and it's ridiculous to believe that all of them allowed themselves to be degraded. By the late 1970's, video production exploded and pornography moved into the new medium because it is so much more expressive than photographs can possibly be. Many female pornographic superstars were created by the new medium. Just ask Annie Sprinkes, Candy Samples, or Ushi Digart why they participated in so many of the early classic porno videos. Their answers would be the same, and Annie is actually a philosopher on the subject. Annie believes that it's all about female self expression that results in freedom and independence from male domination.

One serious problem for prostitutes has traditionally been how to get paying clients without the risk of physical danger. The newest solution to that problem is the internet. The number of women who have posted pornographic photos to the internet is beyond calculation and there are a prodigious number of prostitutes who have discovered its safe marketing power. By using the internet, many prostitutes are able to earn well over $100,000 per year and they don't even have to accept a client who does not physically attract them. Talk about sexual power! There are countless personal web sites where women are collecting clients like Japanese fishermen who drag mile long nets through the ocean picking up every single fish who are caught by the net (net pun intended).

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