Some days ago I noticed that Lydia was no longer in my Breezehome; I don't use her as my follower that much because I like to leave her home with the two kids my character adopted. I thought that maybe it was a hiccup and if I waited X time she would return - she still hasn't.

Flash foward to last night - I'm in with Serena looking for her mother (Dawnguard DLC) and she gives me the whole "Have you ever cared about anyone" conversation, and then I see this as one of my options: "Well there's my husband..."

I have never and will never (Don't turn this into a social/political rant, this is how I personally play) choose a same-gender marriage in this game. I have no clue if this too is just some bug and it meant to say 'wife' or if my character is now somehow randomly married to a mystery guy.

I'd rather not jump back to X days and lose a nice amount of progress; I will try to use console commands to move myself to all the female npcs that I can marry, but I just wanted to know if there was a quicker way. I'm pretty confused at the moment, seeing that Lydia isn't in all the other homes I own (I own all but Riften home).

With Dawnguard, vampire attacks kill npcs if they attack inside cities at night. Unless you have mods that help with that little hickup. So Lydia could have surcumbed that way. As to the husband, wife thing, I have married Serana (mod), but don't remember that conversation, but could be because of Mod. As to carry through, without a mod Serana will say no, or just bypass the question. Just continue playing on, she is a good follower, and won't die.

Any mods? They can do weird things sometimes. Why try to get killed? I meant Lydia could have died. There is a command to take you to her if she is alive. Did you try Dragonreach btw. player.moveto 000a2c8e will move you to Lydia

Hmmm. Can't help there then. Sorry. Skyrim is buggy, but that's a weird one.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to say - this isn't some normal "Oh I left X somewhere and can't find them" or "X died."

Literally just vanished, and then what is this is really about is the game saying I had a husband - which I don't and IF it gave me one then I'd like to findout who and then find a way to end it (either kill him, etc.)

Lydia has a map marker, at least as my Housecarl. (It's part of her dialog options.) That makes it easier to keep track of her. I don't know if you can activate that with a console command, but you might be able to back up a few saves, find Lydia, and activate her map marker wihout wrecking your game.

I had a recent problem with the first ‘Trouble in Skyrim’ Companions quest where I returned to Jorrvaskr, opened it (or tried to), got a serious crash to a completely unresponsive computer requiring a power-switch restart, then had a map marker for Farkas (always a ‘behind a door’ map marker) but Farkas was nowhere to be found. I had to do ‘getstage’ and ‘setstage’ to complete the quest (Farkas showed up after the appropriate ‘setstage’ command, but a step later in the process), and have had no serious problems like that since. That quest, though listed in my Journal as completed, still has an open diamond for ‘Talk to Farkas’. It seems an unrecoverable error. I don't know if yours is a similar problem.

Nope, no dialog or targetting of her when I am taken to her alledged location. -----------------------Maybe she is angry at me that I haven't been taking her on adventures that last months in the game with various companions and left her with the kids, a skeever and a dog all day long in that small(ish) house haha.