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Monthly Archives: April 2012

This week was a good week. And a bad week. I handed in a script that was ten pages shorter than it was supposed to be, and I went to a few classes without the homework, but this week is still a really good week. Because everything seems to be falling into place in a way that makes me really happy.

I had a long chat with my boss/advisory about a huge range of things (including the most recent episodes of Fringe and Once Upon A Time) and I realized that I have a lot more figured out than I realized, which is really exciting. Last weekend I signed up for another class which fills up my course load to the maximum sixteen. I realized that I have a few options for where to live next year and none of them suck. Then, near the end of the “meeting” she pulled my other boss in and we had my what-are-you-going-to-do-next-semester conversation.

Granted, I’m still not sure the class I registered for is the right one, and I haven’t actually picked where I’m going to live next semester, but I certainly feel a lot better about my life right now. And even though what I handed in today wasn’t quite what I would have wanted, it’s actually really nice to not have to worry about it anymore. Meanwhile, I still have ten pages to write over two different papers, but I’m actually starting to look forward to next semester.

Especially with work next semester. I was stressing out over the uncertainty of what I was going to be doing for work next semester. Not that I was in huge fear of my job, just that I know there are a lot of new people coming in who would be great for the show I’ve been working on and I had a sense that I wouldn’t be do it come next September. I found out this week that I’ll be working with a show that is basically how I became interested in Frequency to begin with.

Meanwhile, I’m taking guesses as to who the new hires are going to be and getting super excited for the summer. Nearly four solid months worth of not having a direct responsibility. The summer idea list keeps growing, but there are very few “chores” that have gotten on it. Besides applying for study abroad and trying to figure out a pitch for the fall, I’ll mostly be catching up on TV, reading and hanging out with friends… in Berlin. No big deal. (by which I mean, really-big-i’m-so-excited-i-could-die deal)

Finally everything is falling into place. Now if I could only finish these papers…

Part 1Where did I leave off? Right. Sunday. So, while the farmer’s market may not be a tradition, Easter Sunday Resurrection Rolls most certainly are. Basically they are sugar dough wrapped in marshmallows and when they bake the marshmallow melts leaving the dough hollow on the inside. Yummy, but almost too sweet if such a thing exists. Tradition I will carry on to infinity? I think yes. Just as soon as I lean how to make them…

Anyway, church this year was a combined service at Davies Symphony Hall. <dork> It was amazing! I always hate that they don’t let you sing in concerts, but since this was church I could sing all I wanted. Sweet. We sat in orchestra which was indescribably cool other than that I was taking a picture before we started and then a man sat directly in front of me. </dork>

I am purposely not talking about the camera debacle, but there was one, and these will be the last pictures from this camera for a while. </idontwanttotalkaboutit>

After church we went home to change clothes and then went to go see/participate in Bring Your Own Big Wheel. Basically, it’s a “race” down one of the steeper hill in the city that includes around seven hairpin turns. I went down on a tiny plastic motorcycle which was awesome, but did not have a way to steer. Let’s just say I didn’t win in the traditional sense. Or in any sense really. There’s a reason there are no pictures of me in the race.

Home. Dinner of yummy food that I appreciate more and more the longer I have to feed myself. The rest of the day was uneventful which was actually probably not good considering that I had (have) so much work to do. It’s beginning to be time for mantras and all-nighters. I cannot even describe how much I’m not looking forward to that part.In unrelated news I am still somewhat stunned that I had to break this up in to two posts. I probably didn’t HAVE to, but on some level I’m kind of impressed with myself for being able to eek this out for content… I mean. I could have… It was… I talk too much.

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So, in all the craziness that was the past few weeks I completely forgot to share pictures of going home for Easter. It was absolutely lovely. I got to see some of my favorite people and do some of my favorite things. Just enough to tide me over until summer… granted, now “summer” is in two weeks, but still.

I flew in on Thursday night after a crazy day full of Freq Out rehearsals and worrying about getting to the airport. Thank goodness I got there early because I then found out that my gold status expired last month, so I’m back to being a regular old passenger. Poo. I did get to use my backpack for this trip though. Even if it was probably a bit of overkill. It’s good to use to practice with.

Friday I went to yoga class with my mom. It was… well, it wasn’t the first time I’d done yoga, but I think the last one was a fluke, so this one was better. Granted I was not at all prepared for it clothing-wise. Which doesn’t explain how I was completely prepared gear-wise for an impromptu climbing session with some youth group friends after the Good Friday Tenebrae service (which was inexplicably held at noon). Just go with it.

To say that the Saturday morning farmers market is a family tradition might be a bit of a stretch, but it is by far my favorite Saturday breakfast and everyone in my family knows it. So usually, when I’m there for breakfast they indulge me and we go for a farmer’s market breakfast. Not that they hate it, but I get the sense that when I’m not around they typically go to sit down restaurants with waiters instead of pigeons to take away the leftover food. Yeah.

In the afternoon I went out to lunch with Trevor & Co. in the sunset. Just the beginning of the long list of people I miss terribly when I’m away. We then trekked out to Stonestown for browsing and wandering, waiting far too long for a bus. Ahh Muni, predictably unpredictable.

Of course then there was Sunday… but this post is getting quite long, so I’ll stop here and make this part one of two. Who knew I was going to have so much to say about a weekend.

Waiting to be picked up.

Pretty lights

Dad at the Farmer’s Market.

Emma, before her wanting to kill me stage.

Trevor with the bright red hair.

Taking a picture of myself in the mirror — lent is over so I can use mirrors again.

Oh this week. How do I even describe it? Quite calmer than last week, but still chaotic in it’s own way. I think that perhaps all the things I was worried about last week were saved up during Freq Out, and then came up this week. Specifically, I really stressing over next semester’s classes and living situation. Solutions to both have come up, but I can’t figure out if they’re the right solution. Anyway… I figured it was time for some links.

And completely from left field, this post pleases my inner Nancy Drew fan (it’s kind of a big part of me).

Lately: I’m on a bit of a Freq Out high in which I love all my co-workers. I’ve been really excited for my 21st birthday… in September (in the meantime there will always be Berlin). I gave a killer presentation in one of my TV classes. Very excited. My personal summer reading list is growing — and taking suggestions! Booked tickets home for the summer. Re-applying for my job and hoping for the best. Anticipating Manifest, the end of the year festival. If you’re in Chicago, come and check it out.

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A long time ago on a blog I don’t remember (this was before I was bookmarking blogs and keeping track), I read a post about imagining the worst and trying to see how it wouldn’t be that bad. The sermon I heard on Easter Sunday this year talked about how even what we are sure is God’s last plan for us, is still a part of His plan and can be used for His glory. He even used the same phrase, Plan Z.

Plan Z is what happens when nothing you have in mind for your future comes to fruit. For me that would include not being able to use my degree, moving back in with my parents… but I’m getting ahead of myself. The reason that you think of Plan Z is so that you can think about what you would do in the meantime. What would make this worst possible outcome better and somehow not awful. So here it is, Plan Z.

In my Plan Z I am living in my parents basement in some alternate or possibly future universe where they live in the suburbs. I hate the suburbs. I am working in some office job where I do mindless data entry or copying for the majority of an 8 hour day. Somehow, in getting to Plan Z I was injured in a way that I can’t climb anymore. This means that I spend the work day sitting and sedentary, then go home and am sitting and sedentary because I can’t go on adventures like I want to.

Like I said before though, the second part of coming up with Plan Z is figuring out how it doesn’t suck. In Plan Z I cook a lot. Since I’m living with my parents my Dad and I cook together a lot. Maybe I take yoga with my Mom. In Plan Z (in any plan really) I am highly involved with whatever church I am attending. Possibly more in Plan Z because I want to be doing stuff that’s not being at work or sitting at home. I teach Sunday School, I am a part of a Community Group, I am a mentor, basically I am doing a lot of other fun stuff besides going on adventures.

What is your Plan Z? And how does it not suck that much?

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This week has been a bit stressful. I was working all week pretty much non-stop. When I signed up for it I thought I would be fine, but it wound up driving me a little bit crazy. Like taking a nap on one of the prop couches crazy. Needing to take a walk to Trader Joe’s to buy candy crazy.

I love my work. I love that I get paid for something that I enjoy doing, but I’m not going to pretend that this semester has been easy. I’ve dropped the ball on more than a few things, and somewhere in my head I have this idea that I have to have everything done perfectly every time. While of course that would be nice, I’m starting to realize more and more the difference between what I’m expecting of myself and what others are expecting of me.

My work’s big production is called Freq Out. I have been busy up to my eyeballs getting ready for it nearly every day this week. I’m solidly a drama girl, but when you spend ten hours on set everyday you learn to find a sense of humor. Or you try to at least.

All told, we go live tomorrow evening. Rehearsals are done. There’s nothing left to do, but still miles to go before we hit the ground. As much as it’s been fun, I’m looking forward to it being over. I’ve not done any work outside of Freq Out in nearly a week, and I just know it’s going to catch up to me very, very soon. I’m tired of being tired from the ten hour minimum days. Looking forward to doing homework.

If anyone is interested in watching it live-streaming, the feed will start from HERE at 6pm central time. There are opening remarks before the actual show gets going, but it’s pretty much going to be awesome.

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I have been struggling with what to say all day. How to say it. Because I cannot go through Easter without at least saying, even to the internet, “He is Risen,” and waiting for “He is Risen, Indeed.” But how to broach the subject. I’m teetering on the edge of talking too much about my faith on my blog. An edge that some would argue doesn’t exist. Because it’s my blog and I can talk about what I want to talk about and if they don’t like it they can leave.

But I don’t want people to leave. I know that I have very few followers and I’m accepting of that. I know that blogging for me is more of a personal pursuit than a professional one right now, but I want to be able to cross that bridge someday and I don’t want a reputation of forcing religion on people when that transition happens. I don’t force anyone to listen to me, but at the same time I cannot ignore a huge part of who I am because it’s inconvenient for my online persona.

Today I went to church. This is nothing new for me. I go to church every week. But today was special. Because today was a celebration of what God has done for us in sending His Son. It’s a question of life or death that we get to choose to be either all-encompassing or non-existent. There is no in-between however much society wants there to be one.

The passage that the sermon I heard this morning was based on (Mark 16:1-8) ends with Mary, Mary and Salome — a group of women who were followers of Jesus — fleeing the empty tomb in fear and not telling anyone about what happened because they were afraid. The man they saw who told them Jesus had risen gave them direct orders to tell everyone, but they were so afraid they said nothing. I don’t want to be that. I am confident in my God and my faith, but at the end of the day I am still afraid to speak out.

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I’ve posted some before on how much I like to rock climb, but a book I’ve been reading has made me think about it in a bit of a different way. The book, a collection of essays (I’ve been reading quite a few of those lately) is awesome in that it has a huge variety of writing. Everything, adventure to more run of the mill from all over the world. The thing that’s bothering me is that out of 30 some essays in the book, only two are written by women.

Now, I understand that climbing is a male-dominated sport. I’m not delusional. But I do know that there are a lot of women climbers out there, and I’m wondering why more writings from them weren’t included. Of course there could be a myriad of reasons for this in this particular book, but it got me thinking.

Where are the women climbers!? Pretty much all women climbers I’ve run into are pretty awesome people, but the representations of them to the rest of the world are practically non-existent. The whole thing makes me want to spend every spare minute climbing the walls to catch up with the boys. I want to scream very, very loudly, “I’m a chick and a climber!! Come hang out with me!!” The only problem with that is that I’m not a professional climber if-you-know-what-I-mean. Which brings me back to the wanting to climb all the time to catch up. It’s a vicious cycle.

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Now that my plans are a bit more official, I don’t feel awkward sharing them. As of this past week, I am officially going to Berlin, have a place to stay for a month, and am flying out of Rome. How my friend Allason and I are getting from Berlin to Rome has yet to be established, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’m spending a month rehearsing for a performance, then galavanting around Europe. I can’t even describe my excitement.

I’m flying out on the 4th of July, continuing the not-yet-tradition of flying out of the country on Independence Day, spending a few days on my own before checking in to What Moves You? a Eurythmy conference (eurythmy is quite difficult to explain, simply put it’s a dance form with specific movements for music or spoken word, but that definition seems constraining to me).

The conference is a month worth of rehearsals cumulating in a performance in early August. The conference is being held at a school in Berlin. After the performance Allason and I have ten days to make our way down to Rome before heading back to good old San Francisco.

So far I’ve bought myself a travel book for Berlin and started making marks in it of what I want to do. Allason and I have brainstormed ideas of what we might do too, but we haven’t made any hard and fast decisions yet. Have I mentioned that I’m excited? I am. Quite. I’m going to be spending a month with some of my favorite people in the world seeing new things and (hopefully) speaking in a language I don’t quite understand (My teacher said my pronunciation is getting better though).