I say "There seems to be an alcoholic language and I don't speak it." I have never had an ear for languages, which is yet another reason why I should leave right now. People chuckle knowingly. David smiles. I turn red and mentally scold myself for actually involving myself with these people. Better to sit quietly, avert the eyes. Do not ask the Iranian hijackers for an extra pillow.

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone capable of getting themselves made President should by no means be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

By choking, you become a legend about themselves that these people will cherish and repeat until they die. They'll think they gave you life. You might be the one good deed, the deathbed memory that justifies their whole existence. So be the aggressive victim, the big loser. A professional failure. People will jump through hoops if you make them feel like a god. It's the martyrdom of Saint Me.