Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Proverbs 22:6 NLT

Why are children who were raised in the church falling out of church as they grow older? Is the church doing something wrong or are the parents missing something somewhere?

While growing up, the trend was to ensure your kids go to school, after schools and nobody asks to see your homework, nobody asked what you were thought in school that day or what happened in school. Our parents where to busy trying to make money. Same things goes for Sunday school, nobody asked questions about Sunday school teachings or what activities or your new friends in church. Our parents thought that sending us to school, lesson and Sunday school meant that we automatically turn out great; well wrong.
We should not follow that trend. While my younger brother was in school I noticed his school devised a method to make parents involved with the child’s schooling by sending a report booklet with the home work. I did all the signing and checking of homework for him, my mum was super busy.
Anyways same thing with my daughter in fact based on that knowledge I had I looked for a school that had that same pattern. I do my daughters homework with her, not only that, when I go pick her up from school, I start asking her questions to make her talk about whatever happened in her class for that day. She is only 3 years old so this also helps her increase her vocabulary daily, it’s a win, win situation.
I also have a close relationship with her teacher, it’s very important, have your kids’ teachers’ number. The school also has this policy where each class has a WhatsApp group which is great.

I brought church home for my kids, I am raising my kids to understand that the church is not a building; the church is you and I and what is important is not the building but ensuring that our lives are exemplary to that of Christ.

We need to make our kids understand that church is not where you go and slay, help them know why they go to church, don’t assume that because they go to church they are well grounded in Christ.
After service every Sunday ask them what they learnt discuss it and try to apply to their lifestyle.
Oh the joy of a child knowing Jesus at a young age. I was eager as a child to know more and more about Jesus I consider it a privilege.
Let your children know God from little, do not leave it to the church to do all the work be involved, have memory verses for the week, when they do something wrong punish them with scripture reading/writing it and tell them to summaries it for you; to them it is a punishment but you are actually planting a seed that will yield good fruit in the future.
Bring Church home. Let your kids see Christ in you, help them involve Christ in everything they do.
My daughter wanted a skipping rope, I told her to pray to God for it, she did it then and there because we were at the salon, it’s not like I could not get her the skipping rope how much was it, I just felt she had too many toys.
My daughter prayed all week and the next for that skipping rope. Her dad personally went to get it for her, He was tired of hearing the prayer Lol. He was tripped by her attitude towards prayer and asking for what she wanted. Teach your kids the way of God and when they are old they will not depart from it.

As a working mum I know your time is not flexible and during the week you are swamped. If it’s possible to drop off or pick your kids from school please do so. Discuss with them in the car, you can also discuss while you are having dinner at the table. Make sure your weekends are for your kids. Your kids should never feel like a burden b deliberate about your relationship with them. Let there be no doors stopping them from reaching you at any time.
Till next time remain blessed.

Hey everyone! The last time I posted, I started a series on etiquette being a big deal. If you missed it kindly find the post here.

Today I will highlight a few things your children must know as they grow up.

Has it happened to you before? Someone calls your phone number and in one breath asks, who am I speaking with? How did you feel? Not very pleased I’m sure. Telephone etiquette such as introducing yourself when you call someone is very important. Do not shout and if it happens that you did not initiate the call, don’t waste the caller’s money by prolonging the call unduly. Doing that is inconsiderate.

Children should be taught appreciation by saying “thank you” for every kind gesture. Far too many people go around with the entitlement….They believe the world owes them and so they grumble and whine when things don’t go their way. Such people are never fun to be with.

Bathroom/ Toilet etiquette. Teaching your children to knock and clean up after themselves is very important. . Let them know how to leave the toilet nice and clean for whoever would come in next.

Table etiquette. ‘Do not talk with your mouth wide open when you have food in your mouth’ is a basic rule. Make sure your mouth does not make so much noise. (That’s another thing you have to teach them) You should be able to take your children outside without fear that while they are chewing, there will be so much noise. Teach them to chew gently. It can be very embarrassing to sit at table with someone who does any of these things.

Social Etiquette could include not interrupting when others are talking and if you must, say “excuse me”.be polite.teach them punctuality. If you must be late, let the person you have an appointment with know that you have some constraints early enough. It is bad manners to keep others waiting. In actual fact you are stealing from them.

There are many more things they need to learn but this would definitely be a good start.

To you parenting success!

Written By

Folasade Adejoorin.

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor, author and founder Leaps and Bounds Early Years. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.

I grew up to hear my grandmother say in her Oyo dialect, O l’ettiqutte. This was her usual reaction whenever she felt miffed by any wrongdoing from my sister and I. She said it so much that we thought the word ‘etiquette’ must be a grand old word used by grandmothers or old people. But growing up I’ve come to realize that Etiquette speaks of a fine sense of decorum. The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life. Google defines it as a customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.

Vocabulary.com says if you practice proper etiquette, you are less likely to offend or annoy people and you may even charm them. Can you imagine how much good that does for your child? You must have observed that people naturally take a liking to children that are cultured and practice good etiquette. This tells us that practicing good etiquette will most likely attract favour and goodwill to your child. Teaching your child etiquette will therefore give them a head start in life.

Etiquette does not start and end with belonging to a privileged social strata neither is it a Western concept. Etiquette involves doing things in such a manner to avoid causing discomfort to others. When you treat people well, they not only feel good about themselves they think well of you. Our world will be a much better place to live in if every child should grow up with good etiquette.

We are social beings and so it is important that we comport ourselves well.

There are etiquette rules for different occasions and when you practice good etiquette you leave a fragrance behind. Teach your children that.

Etiquette makes you a cultured individual who leaves his mark wherever he goes.

Etiquette teaches you the way to talk, walk and most importantly behave in the society.

Etiquette is essential for an everlasting first impression. The way you interact with your superiors, parents, fellow workers, friends speak a lot about your personality and up- bringing.

Etiquette enables individuals earn respect and appreciation in the society. No one would feel like talking to a person who does not know how to speak or behave in the society. Etiquette inculcates a feeling of trust and loyalty in the individuals. One becomes more responsible and mature. Etiquette helps individuals to value relationships.

We are living at such a time that people are increasingly losing their manners and rudeness has reached its peak. Children talk to elders anyhow and we think it is okay. It is not okay. Good etiquette once learnt would likely be a part of your children for life.

A lot of the issues that are handled in adult life would probably not have occurred if they had been nipped in the bud and good manners taught. Your son doesn’t know how to share toys with other children in class, correct him now.

There are business, bathroom, table wedding telephone ,social, meeting etiquette and so on. In my next article I will be discussing some types of etiquette which I believe are basic and important for your child to acquire.

I hope you will learn a thing or two from it.

Written By

Folasade Adejoorin.

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor, author and founder Leaps and Bounds Early Years. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.TTI

If you’ve never heard of family planning before or you are not exactly sure what it means, this definition should help.

Family planning is the concept of limiting the size of families through the spacing or prevention of pregnancies, especially for economic reasons.

The World Health Organization explains that the main advantage of family planning is that women and couples can avoid unwanted pregnancies, WHO advocates that with family planning, a woman can space out her pregnancies and limit her family size using different methods of contraceptives.

I believe some Christians have misconceptions about this verse in the Bible “Then God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply. Let the fish fill the seas, and let the birds multiply on the earth.”” Genesis 1:22 NLT

Yes God wants us to be fruitful but we must be wise about our decisions

Let’s not forget Abraham had just one son and he was the father of many nations! You don’t have to give birth to so many children to be the mother of nations.

I don’t like it when parents have so many children and cannot cater for all of them. It is important to always consider the children before and after they have arrived.

It’s not right to bring children into the world to suffer. If you can’t care for them don’t birth them. 1Timothy 5:8.

There are different methods of family planning however before you choose one, you have to consider a few things.

Your health status

Your desire for children in the future ( If you want to still have children in the future you should not consider anything permanent for now)

Now you know about this and you are asking when do start family planning? My answer is this, have this discussion with you spouse and decide mutually. I can only advise that no form of birth control besides condom or withdrawal method should be used if you are yet to have any children, just to be on a safe side medically.

Almost everything in life has disadvantage we just always look for the least dangerous options and go with it. So also the different birth control or family planning methods have their disadvantages but by Gods grace none of these side effects will affect any of us in Jesus name. Amen.

For more details please go the sites listed or visit a gynaecologist.

Remain blessed till my next post.

Written By Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

I see you, I know you have fire for the lord. I SEE you and feel your desire to please the Lord. You spend endless hours in the house of God, doing what you believe is the right thing.

You value your pastors opinion over that your husbands.

In fact your pastors wife has more wisdom than your husband and she has said when you are fasting you should consecrate yourself to God, so no sex while fasting.

Your church says you should cover your hair, not wear trousers and not use extensions you do as they say but your husband desires that you do the opposite.

Be warned God is not mocked whatever you sow so shall you reap.

Your husband is your head and your Lord, If that statement alone makes you angry that is the spirit of jezebel at work. Trust me I have been there before.

Once you are married only your husband has the right to tell you what and what not to do. Let’s go to the word of God; the one time Sarah told Abraham what to do look at the disaster it caused, Ishmael was born. Why am I even going to that story lets start from the beginning when Eve told Adam what to do, look at the outcome. The world is still suffering from their self taught wisdom.

God created men to be kings and priests in their homes let them be! I see you spiritual mama; but once you are home with your family submit to your husband. You cannot be more holy than your husband.

There is an anointing on their head for Leadership, just keep praying for them to make the right decisions. It’s not easy but God will give you wisdom.

If your husband says he is too tired to go to church it’s ok to have service at home while he heads the service, God is everywhere.

Don’t always think you are the holiest one in the relationship just because you think or even see your husband do things that are not Christian like. They answer to God not you. You should not disrespect them with the excuse of trying to tell them off when they do wrong. Stop it.

Be submissive does not mean to be a slave; it means to be respectful, to understand and accept that your husband is Lord over you.

Except it is against THE WORD OF GOD (not your pastor, prophet or parents) whatever your husband says is right! It is only the word of God that remains the same, beware of teachers, preachers, prophets and false men of God that say they heard the spirit of God. Check every advice with the word of God. Your husband comes first! If it’s 4pm and you are still in church since 8am; if your husband is not the pastor you have no business in the church go home and cook for your husband.

Men like to be serviced, pampered and catered for. Take care of your man. Don’t give another woman access into your home.

Children could be a handful and many times we can’t wait until they grow up. At least they won’t have to be fed, carried or bed wet as they used to.

After some years, you begin to notice the growth spurts in your child. Ah! You feel some rush of adrenaline. Your little boy or girl is growing. But these physical changes are also accompanied by a lot of emotional and behavioural changes.

At this stage your son or daughter is in transition. He’s not quite a child nor quite an adult. You may even begin to wonder where that sweet child of yours is. In an attempt to prove they are all grown, he or she can become daring, disrespectful and do things that are outright dangerous or irresponsible. Again they want to push their limits and test their boundaries. You will observe that in the title of this article I used the word “navigating ” I had other choices such as “coping “. But the word navigating makes the teenage years look more like a journey while coping makes it sound like something to be endured. I believe our attitude as parents can make or mar the period for us and our teenagers. Once you see that period as one in which there will be chaos and rebellion ..with your child, your actions will likely be ….

At this time, you need to listen more. I dare say for most people, this is a very difficult skill. Most people will rather talk than listen. But if your teen knows you’re listening to him, it is more likely that he will likely listen more. For him it is important that you treat him with respect and one of the best ways to do this is to listen. Don’t get me wrong, listening to them does not mean you have to tag along with their whims and do everything they want. . What it does is to show that you acknowledge him as a rational being who is entitled to his own views. The advantage of listening to him is that when it is time for you to talk, he also will feel more obliged to listen. Ensure that you do not always talk down at them. Be honest and open in your conversation with them.

Never try to create an impression of an infallible parent to them because you are not. And they will find out soon enough. Be sure that when they do find out, they will lose the respect they have for you. Own up when you make mistakes and apologise when you are wrong. Letting your child know that you have your areas of struggle makes you more real. But don’t stop at that, let them see that you are making efforts to overcome in those areas. It serves as an encouragement for them to also admit or own up to their.own personal struggles and do their best to work towards a change.

Be a model of the virtues you want your teenager to replicate. It is lack of integrity to demand a behaviour from your child while you exhibit exactly the opposite.

Be a parent. What this means is that you must be firm when need be. Don’t dance to your child’s tune. Set boundaries and insist that they are kept. If you want your child to always be happy with you then something is probably wrong.

Show your child unconditional love. Love that does not depend on whether he performs or meets your expectations. This is tough but with God’s help and your determination, it is possible.

Don’t always come to your child’s rescue. When he does something wrong it is better to allow him face the consequences of his actions rather than bail him out. It is better the child learns this early enough and know that he will have to take responsibility for all of his actions. Don’t leave the child all alone let him still know you care and can always find a support in you. Even when we fail God He chastises us but also picks us up and showers His love on us such that we can continue our walk with Him.

You may need to seek the help of a a friend, counsellor or some other professionals in certain cases that you are unable to handle. Don’t feel ashamed to seek help. Truth is we all have our areas of struggle.

To your parenting success.

Folasade Adejoorin

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor and author. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.

As mothers, one thing we need to know like the back of our hands are easy solutions to little things our babies go through. Although it is important to note that we should avoid giving our babies drugs without the help of a medical doctor, simple natural remedies always help when the complaint isn’t so serious.

Here are a few that would come in handy.

Honey: (raw unprocessed honey) a teaspoon every night will help with your child’s immunity. Honey also helps with cough. Mix it with grounded and sieved bitter kola (òrógbò). You can give your child until the cough disappears or reduce to once daily or twice weekly as the cough disintegrates. Please do not give honey to children below two years honey.

Shea butter (òrí): raw unprocessed òrí is not only good for the skin but helps clears phlegm in the chest and cold from the nostrils. Just apply in a massage motion on the chest, rib cage and back. This is suitable for all ages even babies.

For babies below 12 months use hot water and towel to massage chest their rib cage, back and bridge of nose to help with blocked nose. Then use nose aspirator to unclog nostrils.

For children below 2 years, use Robb to massage under their foot and wear socks for them at night this will stop that croaky cough at night.

Ginger tea is another remedy for cough. Grate or grind fresh ginger, pour in a cup of hot water for about 10-20 minutes and let it mix properly. Give a table spoon. This is strictly for children above 2 years

Always wear layered clothing so you can remove pieces as the weather get warmer in the day.

Wearing socks at night during cold season is actually important as cold gets into the body faster from under the feet.

People don’t know this but it is actually better to avoid giving children below 6 years cough syrup.

I remember how growing up was for me and some other children around. We would go to school as early as 7.am and wouldn’t return until around 4.pm. Even after spending so many hours in school, some of us would still be subjected to doing private lessons at home. The long vacations were not left out as our parents made sure we spent it all on the so called ‘summer coaching’ recycling same pattern of life.

It didn’t seem like there were other things we could learn and build on aside our academics; that was the only way to success.

I know very well that some of you can relate. My question now is this; are you putting your children through that same pattern of life or are allowing them explore other areas of life? Are you allowing you child enjoy the holidays in the real sense of the word?

You see, a child who is trained and brought up to be versatile will have little or no problem finding where his/her true passion lies. It’s really sickening that some parents cannot boldly say what particularly their child is great at, they don’t know what gifts their child has because they have clearly not observed. All they are concerned about is the grades.Don’t get me wrong. Grades are good but that’s not all there is to life.

When your children do well in sports, music, dance cheer them up. Don’t wait till the report card arrives.

Your child might not even be the best at school but there is something that he can do better than the person who took first position, but it’s up to you to help him find and build and be proud of it.

Never let your child feel unnecessarily bad because they are not the best in school. Instead encourage, correct and help. Don’t mock or yell. That way you would also be building your child’s self-esteem.

Hello everyone and Happy New Year, may 2017 bring Joy all year round into our lives.

So let’s discuss ladies, how is the love affair with your husband’s? Hope you have not started calling him baba (insert child’s name) or daddy (insert child’s name) because that’s a problem.

When the children start rolling in we forget that our first priority is to our husbands; oh yes hubby come before the kids, but how do we put our ‘ogas at the top’ first without it feeling like a duty.

How do we make our husbands priority in love? How do we still treat them like we did while we were courting? Do they still have that special place in our hearts or have other things taken their place?

Here are a few tips that can help you treat hubby well:

If you are a newlywed/ expecting your first baby; then it’s important to discuss how you want to keep you love affair intact. Is it through weekly dinner/lunch dates, romantic weekend getaways or constant texting? Find something that works for you.

It’s important to discuss the sex life after delivery and birth control options please. I don’t know how to say this but sex is a major part of your marriage, forget what you know or you think you know. Men love sex don’t deprive them, even the good ones can only be deprived for so long. If you have issues with sex deal with it by talking to the right medical personnel. Don’t be shy to open up please; if you prefer to see a female doctor please request for one.

Seeking for domestic help is very important especially if you constantly feel overwhelmed and have a lot of meltdowns, but you need to apply wisdom when welcoming someone into your home to help in the day to day affairs. Pray about it seriously. It’s important that you and not the help cater directly to your family. The help is there to assist not take over from you.

Put your love affair with your husband first because your kids will grow and leave you all alone with your hubby.

Read articles and literature on how to make your relationship stronger and exciting. Try new and exciting things in and out of the bedroom. Do a surprise home alone arrangement take the kids to grandma, have sometime to yourselves, as a couple. Have fun and do what you used to do before the kids arrived.

Always look good for your hubby, even if you don’t go out, ensure you always look good when he gets back.

Educate yourself so you will constantly discuss things that will stimulate your hubby’s mind. Your spirituality, intelligence, appearance and character is key to keeping your marriage spicy.

Till next time stay blessed.

Written By Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Adjusting to the routine of going back to school particularly after a long holiday is stressful enough for many kids. But when your child has to resume school in a completely different environment from the one he is used to, it is a new ballgame altogether. The child is confronted with adjusting to new people including teachers and pupils, new structures, and a new system of doing things.

A child may have to change school for different reasons such as relocation of parents from one neighbourhood to another, the decision of parents to opt for a better school , transition from a junior school to a higher one and so on. The (circumstances) that occasioned the change of school determine how quickly your child adjusts to his new environment.

For example a child that has to leave his home to go live with someone else due to loss of a parent or divorce of his parents might not easily settle down. The child’s temperament and nature is also a factor. Some children are by nature more outgoing than others and so are more willing to explore a new environment.

Prepare your child’s mind well ahead of an impending change. Your child may not understand all the details but you need to explain to him. It’s all about him or her, remember?

You can take him along on a tour of the new school. When the child is acquainted with the facilities and some of the people he will meet in the coming term, it makes it less scary for him.

If the school is in a neighbourhood close to your home, you may choose to make enquiries about some families that have their children in that school. If after all your findings you feel satisfied that your child is safe to make friends with their kids it’s welcome. At least your child is sure that he’s got an ally whenever school resumes.

Help your child settle down by also checking in on him to know how well he is coping in the new school. Ask him questions on his new friends, his relationship with his teacher (s).

You can as well check with his teacher to find out their opinion on how well your child is settling down. Hopefully, the feedback from the child and the teachers will be a positive one. But just in case it is not you might need to have a continuous talk with your child. Watch out that your child is not being bullied or molested in his new environment.

Make the change attractive for the child. Some new school supplies other than than the ones he’s used to might even make him feel it is worth the while. Be enthusiastic about the change yourself. Even though your child is the one to attend a new school, there’s a likelihood that even you as the parent is anxious to see that your choice goes well for the sake of your child. Your enthusiasm can be infectious for the child and raise his optimism about the school.

Lastly, I encourage you to plan ahead, get your acts together and settle your child and the whole family into a routine that works. Early in the morning isn’t the time for you to run around the house or your street, looking for bread or eggs to buy. Things like their socks, homework, and other school supplies should be ready before going to bed.

The meals for breakfast and the lunch for school should be got ready on time. If you leave home early enough and avoid the traffic, your child can get to school and settle down to take his classes and participate in other school activities. But a child who arrives late to school is likely to be even more anxious.

Are you wondering that this parenting stuff is a lot of work? Just chill. Very soon, you will be over that phase.

Written By Folasade Adejoorin

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor and author. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.