TONIGHT we meet the man who makes all the headstones in Midsomer - and what a booming little business that must be in a county that averages three murders a week.

Things aren't looking so rosy though for local firm Kings Crystal which specialises in glass dragonflies and the like. At the start of tonight's episode one of the owners is on a business trip in Shanghai.

"Safe journey!" trills his wife Hilary, right, on the end of a long-distance phone line, more or less ensuring that he'll be stone dead by the very next scene. And just six months later she marries his brother in a very obvious nod to Hamlet. Just in case you miss the point, her disgruntled son is busy mounting an open-air Shakespeare festival featuring DCI Barnaby's daughter as Ophelia. It's all mad as a March hare - but you can see why they lap this stuff up abroad.