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I’m ready. The liposuction went well. The toupee fitting was hair-raising and, according to my doctor, my recovery from the tanning booth burns will be “splendid — if you don’t mind looking like a cross between Yoda and a pumpkin.”

Thanks to the teachers who taught at Rincon High I got a great education. This was back in the Age of Aquarius, back when the moon was in the Seventh House, Mr. Varney was guiding the truants straight to the dean of boys and Jupiter was aligned with Mars.

Bisbee’s City Council voted 5-2 late Tuesday to recognize same-sex civil unions within the community, after hearing three hours of impassioned comments from residents and despite a warning from the state’s attorney general.