The Worst Pokemon of All Time

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We love Pokemon, but... there is one that is literally a pile of garbage :/

By Kat Bailey

Sorry Simisear, Simisage, and Simipour -- I have absolutely no time for you. Neither do I particularly care for Jellicent (too fat), Togekiss (what exactly is it supposed to be?), or Glalie (as Bart Simpson would say, "Wow, a big ugly head."). I recognize that most of this is down to taste, but with more than 600 Pokemon to choose from, I think I can afford to be a little picky.

All that said, I think some Pokemon go above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to being awful. It's not just they're ugly, or they're useless... it goes even deeper than that. It's a blight that goes to the deepest level of their PokeDNA. Those were the sorts of Pokemon I looked for when when compiling the latest list of "Worst Pokemon" -- the ugliest, the most banal, and the most broken of the lot.

Naturally, as much as I love Pokemon, I didn't have to look too hard. We love Pokemon. But these guys and gals? Yikes.

Generation I: Step Aside Jynx and Mr. Mime

Let's give Jynx and Mr. Mime a break. We've spent more than a decade making jokes at their expense, but hey, at least they're kind of interesting. Beedrill can't even claim that much. Its lone distinguishing characteristic is that it's a giant wasp, and anyone who's ever trained one up will tell you that it's pretty much useless in battle. By contrast, its counterpart Butterfree has fared much better, having picked up lots of interesting attacks and abilities (Compound Eyes!) over the years, and having featured heavily as Ash Ketchum's second ever Pokemon. There wasn't a dry eye in the house when Ash released Butterfree; anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. No one has ever shed a tear for Beedrill though, and no one ever will... not even a Bug Trainer.

Generation II: An Irritating Sidequest Approaches

Oh Unown, you used to be an interesting twist on the 'catch 'em all' concept, now you're just an irritating holdover from a bygone era. There's always at least one sap with too much time on their hand who actually tries to catch the entire alphabet, for no other reason than some misplaced sense of competionism. Pity this poor soul, for they have lost their way. And if they try to use one in battle, slap them upside the head, because they're probably just trolling you.

Honorable Mention:Blissey, because after four generations, the SkarmBliss defensive combination can still die in a fire

Generation III: Worst. Pokemon. Ever.

I'm not even going to pretend that Luvdisc isn't the worst Pokemon ever. In fact, Generation III is arguably the weakest generation of them all, loaded as it is with cheap knockoffs of earlier Pokemon (Swalot, Beautifly) and outright bad designs (Volbeat and Illumise). Luvdisc ends up taking the cake though, because it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It's useless in battle, more common than a cockroach, and stunningly boring to look at -- just a heart with eyes and a mouth attached. Even the fact that it yields heart scales is kind of a negative, because it's a reminder of how irritating it is to actually find heart scales. I seriously hope it never gets an evolution, because it deserves to remain the butt of every Pokemon joke for the rest of time.

Generation IV: The Ultimate Troll

What's that? Garchomp is amazingly powerful and fairly popular? Sorry, I don't care. Garchomp is what happens when Pokemon's designers decide to start trolling everyone. In addition to hitting like a mack truck, its bizarre 102 base speed puts it in a tier all of its own, allowing it to outrun and demolish most would-be counters. Worse yet, its Sand Veil ability raises its evasion in a sandstorm, occasionally allowing it dodge a well-placed ice beam outright. These traits have conspired to put Garchomp at the center of pretty much every annoying debate about balance ever, and has arguably been the catalyst for getting other Pokemon banned as well. And on top of all that, it's a ridiculous Street Shark-looking thing. Garchomp is pretty much the worst.

Honorable Mention:Lopunny, because no Pokemon should ever try to be that "sexy"

Generation V: Oh God, What is That Thing?

I actually like Pokemon Black and White's Pokedex a lot. It features a lot of refreshing designs that... oh god what is that thing? It's like... a pile of garbage, but with eyes. Is it... is it supposed to look like that? Why does it look so happy? Is this is the final form of the guy from Robocop who gets dunked in the toxic waste? If he hadn't exploded, I mean? No seriously, why is this thing in Pokemon? I really want to know. Actually, nevermind. I don't think I do.