Opinion
Editorial

Editorial: Can there be love in time of #MeToo?

Can there be romance in the era of #MeToo? Can there still be sexual spontaneity, instant attraction, sudden and deep passion? Can men still approach women? Is flirting sexual harassment?

The past several months have left some adults wondering what the rules of modern behaviour are, and how to act if those rules aren’t respected.

A massive study released Friday by the Angus Reid Institute offers both despair and hope about relations between the genders. On the dark side, it found:

• More than half the women surveyed (52 per cent) said they had been sexually harassed at work in their lifetimes

• One in four women had also experienced non-consensual sexual touching at work

• While younger men agreed many of their gender had “behaved like jerks” toward women, they didn’t think those men should lose their jobs or reputations for it. Women in the younger age group felt differently.

More hopefully, the survey found both genders in accord on a number of positives:

• They agreed (men 89 per cent, women 92 per cent) that women are right to come forward with their stories of sexual harassment, even if the incidents happened in the past

• They agreed (men 72 per cent, women 77 per cent) that the #MeToo movement will lead to meaningful improvement in the lives of working women

• They agreed (men 84 per cent, women 88 per cent) that the discussions sparked by #MeToo are long overdue.

That’s a start, at least. The survey also concluded many men are finding it hard to figure out where the line is these days. Many women are having the same difficulty.

Just because a man thinks his witty proposal to a woman was harmless flirting doesn’t mean those Heineken-fuelled sweet-nothings were anything but a loutish pass. Bear hugs at business meetings are no longer OK. Nor is preying on the female apprentice. For men, the #MeToo movement has exposed behaviours that are the inverse of what love is supposed to mean.

#MeToo, at its heart, should encourage real romance, respectful relationships. Couples making sure they are both enjoying date night. Co-workers focusing on the job, not on escaping the office lech. Adults willing to talk frankly to each other if there’s a problem.

As we approach Valentine’s Day, it’s worth remembering that true love’s foundation is not merely desire, but mutual respect. It starts by comporting oneself with dignity, and treating others that way, too.