If there was any doubt that Mariah Carey was gonna be on her twitter all last night to document that her Valentines Day was more fantastic than yours, than I guess you’ve never heard of Mariah Carey because of course she did that.

Though to be honest it looked kinda shitty and unoriginal, which is to be expected because she’s married to Nick Cannon, and Nick Cannon is a complete fucking moron.

The only good part was when her dog jumped in the tub “in hopes …. of champagne”, which either implies that the bath is filled with champagne because that’s all Mariah will bathe in or that Mariah thinks dogs have thumbs. So I know the picture makes me hate her, I just have to decide on what she meant and then adjust my hate accordingly.