The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have Bill Windsor cornered at a Motel 6 in Ellis County Texas. The lights are reported to have been left on which aided in the crack law enforcement work.

According to reports from the lowly-regarded Joeyisalittlekid Gang, Bill Windsor has been hiding in Ellis County Texas right under the noses of the Ellis County Mafia.

We understand that Bill Windsor is said to be armed and dangerous. He has his laptop logged in to Twitter with his finger poised above the <ENTER> key, and he has a keychain-sized container of pepper spray purchased from Amazon.com.

Law enforcement personnel have been told to shoot first and ask questions and think later.

Just another typical day on the job for Ellis County law enforcement.

Steven Blaney, head of The Royal Canadian Mounted Police had this to say: “ey, we are proud and just a little bit humble to be of service. Tracking this fugitive was not easy, but we put 26,000 of our best men and women on it, and when one of our officers went to get a soda out of the machine down the hall from his room at Motel 6, he spotted a man who looked a lot like Santa Claus. So, it’s either Old Saint Nick himself or perhaps this Serial Emailer and Tweeter, Billy Windsor.”

Queen Elizabeth, the big boss, was unavailable for comment. She was in an emergency session with Parliament over what assistance the UK would provide in this worldwide manhunt.