Monday, September 12, 2011

How 'Contagion' Should Have Ended... SPOILER ALERT!

Well you guys I have been SUPER PUMPED to see Contagion. I mean blood, guts, a deadly virus, plus Jude Law and Matt Damon? Hello! I'm there! Well what a letdown. This movie could have been the freaking bomb. Well they should have consulted me on the ending because I would have rocked it.

WARNING: SPOILERS!!!

1. The Epidemiologist and The Hong Kong Guy

How it Ended: ?? We Don't Know. She runs away from some dude when she finds out Hong Kong Guy received placebo vaccine's for his village.

How it SHOULD have ended: They should have fallen in love and raised lots of Hong Kong Babies

+

=LOVE

2. Kate Winslet

How it ended: She be DEAD

How it SHOULD have ended: She lives and meets and marries Matt Damon

3. Dr. Cheever (aka Laurence Fishburne)

How it ended: He's a good guy. He gives his dose of vaccine to the janitor's kid and goes about his merry way. We assume he ends up okay but the movie doesn't really show anything further.

How it SHOULD have ended: Dr. Cheever should have been the bad guy. Hands down. This movie should have been a perfect plot for corruption at the hands of Dr. Cheever! Honestly he should have known something about the vaccine having bad side effects and that's why he gave his dose away instead of him just being a nice guy. Then Kate Winslet and Matt Damon could have uncovered the plot and Jude Law (with his jacky teeth) would have caught him and saved the world!

Now THAT would have been a movie!

Really Jude?

Which brings us to number 4.

4. The End

How it ended: Bananas.

Yes. Freaking bananas caused the virus that killed half the world. That's it. A bat ate a banana and dropped it then a pig ate it, then the pig got killed then a chef was cooking it then he touched Gweneth Paltrow..who is a skank.

That's what you get for cheating on Matt Damon you whore!

How it SHOULD have ended: See above plot of Dr. Cheever plot with Kate and Matt and Jude to the rescue.