The prestigious honor was divided up into five different categories: titans, pioneers, artists, leaders and icons. Kimye (as two separate entities) fell under the "titan" umbrella while our girl T. Swift was naturally considered an icon (hair flip emoji).

Let's face it: You know that Kanye West — the first person on the list and the artist on the issue's cover — is sitting somewhere gleefully rubbing his hands together at the fact that he is numero uno and a ~titan~. Fortunately, lauded engineer Elon Musk, author of the TIME description of the rapper, didn't exactly beat around the bush.

"Kanye West would be the first person to tell you he belongs on this list. The dude doesn’t believe in false modesty, and he shouldn't," Musk writes, passionately and eloquently explaining why the rapper is deserving of the title. "… Kanye does think. Constantly. About everything. And he wants everybody else to do the same: to engage, question, push boundaries. Now that he’s a pop-culture juggernaut, he has the platform to achieve just that."

As for Kim Kardashian — whose blurb was penned, surprisingly, by Martha Stewart — is a "media phenomenon" who "exudes energy, sexuality, drama, determination, impetuousness and happiness." And the reality star is someone, Martha Stewart adds, who has expanded the world's very definition of "family."

"They are a blended family, of Armenian descent, with biracial pairings (Kim is married to Kanye West) and a reportedly transgender parent," the entrepreneurial home guru adds, referring to them as the modern-day Brady Bunch. "They work hard, and they stick together through thick and thin."

Of course, the blurb about T. Swizz was written by none other than Mariska Hargitay, badass television star and namesake of Taylor's cat, Olivia Benson.

"Taylor Swift: megawatt talent, an extraordinary spirit, an impossibly charming blend of impishness, poise and radiance to spare," the actress writes. "All of it combines to rock me back on my heels every time I see her."

And in turn, Taylor Swift wrote the bio for her friend and Food Network extraordinaire Ina Garten. Because of course she did.