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What are your thoughts on this? Do you ever lend people money or refuse because of the hassle it causes?

A friend of mine broke up with his missus a while ago, and was a bit tight financially so asked to borrow some from me. I agreed, knight in shining armour that I am, and told him not to worry about it - and to pay me back whenever he was back on his feet and could afford to. Even suggested him paying me a small amount per month etc.

Now, he's been sorted for a while now but seems to be ignoring the fact he owes me this money. Wouldn't be a problem but he keeps playing the skint card, yet I keep noticing new things that he's bought, and he's talking about booking holidays etc.

Should I have a little word? I don't particularly /need/ the money back ASAP, but it'd be nice to know that he's not forgotten and plans to pay me back at some point.

He's not quite a close enough mate for me to write the money off, btw.

So, yeah - do you owe your friends money? Do they owe you money? It's a right shitter, huh.

because past experiences tell me it's not worth the hassle. I borrow money from my Dad if I ever need it but I always pay it back the moment I have the money to. I still owe an ex-friend £200 but decided not to pay it back. She's a bitch.

it's just annoying because I really don't like being in this position though I let it happen. He earns quite a bit more than me and keeps letting me forego stuff that I owe him, and buying things and just saying 'pay me later' when i know full well I can't afford it (such as flights to amsterdam next weekend). I should have said something but I'm too much of a nob to do so. He's also the nicest man ever so I feel real bad.

She had a terrible upbringing in poverty that would make your eyes bulge. When she was younger she made some terrible decisions regarding money and is still £20,000 in debt. She got in a spot of bother with one of the debts. I cleared it for her with my savings, and she's gradually paying me back.

Couldn't be less annoyed with it. Why on earth WOULD it annoy you? It's only money for fuck's sake. That's all it is. Not everyone's been as lucky as me to have a comfortable life so, I like to help.

...not for her lacking trying but because I'm pretty soft on the repayments and it can be difficult to keep track on the amount owed. Like if she is really struggling I'll say she doesn't have to pay that monthly installment, and so it goes on.

She lives on less than JSA a month with all her debts. I just try to help, is all.

That would be like me living there under the promise that i'd pay the rent every month and then every month going 'oh i can't pay it now, can you sub me?'

We have our own personal 'thing' worked out which I won't go into. Every couple living together pays their finances in their own way dependent on their lifestyles.

My comment about a couple of grand was just because I didn't know the situation. I just assumed (wrongly) that she had just wanted stuff or to go places and you had to keep lending her money, which would hack someone off, but in this case, its admirable that you've helped her out a lot.

Potentially inappropriate question, but what would you do if you two broke up? Would you still ask her to pay back the money over time even if you're no longer together?

And the value of the financial support which you receive is significantly less than the amount of money my girlfriend owes me! As I said, it's not a dig or anything, I thought you were just baulking at the sum of money involved which, in comparison, is relatively small. But, sure, no need to justify your finances in the slightest - it's a choice that couples make so as long as everyone's happy, that's cool.

Depends on the circumstances of our breakup, but I'd probably write the debt off... after all, it was a risk on my part so I'd have to bear the brunt of that risk if something went wrong. Plus - the money would improve her life much more radically than it would improve mine so, the money's in the right place at the end of the day. It's only money. It's the absolute worst thing that people can argue about.

He doesn't financially support me in any way....in fact, I actually financially support him.
I am not arguing with you or anything, I am agreeing with you. I am happy to lend my partner whatever he NEEDS to either get himself out of mischief or get himself a better opportunity (i.e. I payed for the holding fee on the flat to make sure he got the flat he wanted). I guess our agreement is that I don't actually live there, I stay there a lot because he wants me to, and as I am not paying rent, I can save almost the equivalent in rent money for our future (whether that be a deposit on a flat one day or to have the money there to get pay for holidays and fun days out and things he wants that he can't afford with his wages right now).
Money shouldn't come between a couple and its really good that you don't hold any grudges against your girlfriend for the situation she got herself in. It makes you a really nice person that you are able to give her the opportuntiy to get herself out of trouble....and I guess thats what I aim to do if it is ever needed. I see my funds as an US fund, rather than a me fund, as yeah, he does pay for the roof over my head 5 days a week, and that will be repayed to him in many other ways (its how i afforded to take him for the most expensive meal of my life)

In fact I think he earns less than me LOL. 55k is merely a metaphor for a certain attitude to money and wealth, which seems to pervade in his posts. Whether or not that's just him playing Tory, or whether or not he actually believes it, who knows but it's certainly in the bank for the next time he kicks off about housing benefit...

Wouldn't have even thought about it or brought it up had he still been struggling but because he appears to be fairly flush it feels like he should be offering repayment or at least acknowledging the fact it's still outstanding.

When we first got together there were loans here and there that she was determined to pay back... now it's just a case of me helping her out sometimes. I don't mind though as she has never really got sorted financially....and she never asks.

Sometimes lend a few quid to my ex when she asks but she always pays me straight back at pay day.

Have a friend with a questionable line of work who I lent a few grand to a few years back. He still owes me £500 of that but I should be seeing that soon.

I have a habit of lending people money, clearly.

Owe and I would have a word with your mate. He shouldn't be talking about booking holidays if he's too skint to pay you back. Massive pisstake.

A new pair of trainers, or some CDs I could understand - everyone likes buying new things, especially if he's Feeling A Bit Low after his breakup, but the holiday he's talking about would be a similar amount to the outstanding debt. Hmpf.

Probably owed about £800 by different people (which I'll never see) and about £1000 off my brother. Meh. Never borrowed anything, I once asked a friend when I was completely broke after college and he laughed at me. I dont like being laughed at

due to an extended benefits fuckup after she lost her job, and because the rent for our flat went out of my bank account regardless of if the rest paid me. BUT it was someone I'd known for a good few years and trusted to be the decent sort, and fair play to her, she's been paying me back for the last two years. Last payment is gonna be June 1st. I bet she's well happy.

I don't think I've ever borrowed money off anyone except my mother, who despite her limited means has always been happy to help me out when I need it. I have a vague running tally of money I owe her and will one day pay back, probably when she's retired and her income falls considerably.

I borrowed £50 about 5 years ago from my Dad, which I paid back almost instantly, because a banking mistake led to me going overdrawn and I needed an instant transfer to avoid a charge. Other than that, I have never once asked them for a penny. I don't think I could.

We live in an age of vulgar profligacy. It really is horrible. I've seen people rack up debts and needing to borrow money because they've spent too much money going out, or they've spent too much money on booze, or too much money on holidays... I find it absolutely terrible that people are so frivolous that they need to borrow money to fund their frivolous lives.

Our parents (well mine, certainly) never had the choice of this. It was look after your money, or you're up shit creek. I despair that people just don't realise how fortunate and also wasteful they are, I guess...

Bad Vikram once posted this breakdown thread about how much debt he'd gotten into because he didn't work and lived in a ludicrous "loft", how he'd been ignoring it and letting it all build up until his mother had to come round and sort it out for him. pretty embarassing.

My sister owes my dad an awful lot of money and I think he's resigned himself to not getting any back. As a result he keeps offering me money, and when I refuse he just gives it to me. I'd much rather he saved it for himself so he could start working part time, or put it in to a pension fund for my mother. Having said that, I wouldn't be going to porto next month without his help.

I lent my ex a grand so she could move into her own place. all paid back.
covered my old housemate's rent twice. one month never got paid back.

both of these transactions happened during a period in which I wasn't paying much rent and had a surplus of student loan money. Now that I'm in my final year at uni, paying £150 more in rent a month, I kind of wish I'd reconsidered.

On paying back - I feel uncomfortable hassling people for money, so I don't really ask unless I've expressly told them I need it back quickly after lending it.

Ones where there aren't about a dozen completely unskilled n00bs inbetween you and your boss. In most permament jobs i've had i've been able to just ask for a couple/few hundred quid on sub. In a way, it's great. In another, it's not, especially when you get paid in cash reddies and your boss smiles as he gives you a week's wages for a month's work.

I haven't had to borrow cash since I've left uni but I suppose I've mostly been living rent and bill-free. I'm not sure I could ever feel comfortable borrowing more than £100 from anyone though - my parents didn't bring me up that way y'know? They're annoyed I even got myself into student debt! However if work doesn't become more stable soon it could become a reality if I ever manage to move out of my parent's.... don't wanna think about it.

but at the end of first year we broke into a guys room to throw everything out the window (lol students bants etc etc) and we came upon a piece of paper listing every drink he'd bought for someone and what theyd bought him back, including price and a running total for each person. Disheartened us a bit so we just hid his bed (oi oi!! etc etc)