A SICK LOVER’S LETTER TO HER SOLDIER – PARIJAT

Life companion, much,much love;
I feel I might send you a heart
I feel I might send you a loveletter,
tied around the necks of these free-flying pigeons,
repeating the sentiments of last century’s love,
but what free bird could fly
across today’s lines and borders,
with what sighs could this withered existence
lay down to rest in the winds of this world?

My love I cannot raise you in my mind,
you are far away and hidden from me,
I cannot Speak to you, I cannot see you,
I do not even try to cross the seven seas to you,
and so I simply watch for you
as I sit here all alone,
my brain as limited as my body,Gautami turned to stone.

Love,
love is a mirage,
Love is the greed of a goose,
Love is a lifeless truth,
the thirst of a kakakul bird
which loves the sun and blocks its setting;
an ephemeral body, an endless desire,
but love is the union of bodies,
me in your arms each night,
a row of desires set out to block death–
I am dreaming and burning my sweet dreams.

Beloved You wrote to ask me
if I smile in your billet picture,
you said you did not want to lose me,
you said my latter woke you up like a phoenix.
This is all just history now,
how I have survived I do not know,
I have waited long, you will surely come
to this phoenix in her ashes,
not rising to health once more,
but deep in eternal sleep
leaving unspoken the things in her mind.

My love, I have already died,
your love burned with me on my pyre.
I am buried, I sleep the endless sleep,
you must live on, waking tomorrow
to new sunshine: do not cry,
do not make a mockery of conflict.

Do you know the power of my ending?
A part of finality was smashed.
do you know that my death was strong?
It left immortality itself half dead.

Love does not die, you have to kill it,
you must begin with the strength of my end.
Now here is the rest of my letter,
now here is the rest of your phoenix
life companion, here for you
is the remnant of all my love.

– PARIJAT
( Translated by Michael James Hunt)

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In the Ramayana, Rama releases the wife of the sage Gautam from a curse that had turned her to stone as a punishment for her infidelity.

The kakakul bird is a symbol of thirst because it is fated to drink only the water that falls from the sky and therefore spends its life crying to heaven for rain.