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Monday, March 7, 2011

Circadian Rhythyms (da dum-dum!)

I'm on a stay up all night, sleep all day schedule. Not sure if I've talked about it before but my circadian rhythyms are abnormal. That means that, if left to go back to what's natural for me, I pretty much always go to a fall asleep around 8am, wake up around 4pm schedule. It's not normal, but it's my default. They say that people who work third shift never get used to it, because they're programmed to sleep then. Well, I've never gotten used to a 'normal' schedule for the same reason. So, left to my own devices, which I am since being unemployed I rarely have a NEED to be up at a certain time, I always go back (no matter how hard I fight against it).

I've gotten better, actually, since college. In college I often overslept (I sleep like a rock and it is HARD to wake up) and missed classes. I think my professors thought I was a party animal or something, though I've never been drunk or taken any drugs in my life. I tried to get it diagnosed once. The neurologist wanted me to get a sleep study done. We scheduled it, and it snowed that day. I'd scheduled it winter break (this was in college) and didn't want to schedule it for the weekdays I had class (since they're not open on the weekend). Technically, I'd have a doctor's excuse, but considering I missed enough class for the sleeping disorder itself...

By the time I had another break, we were pretty broke. And I didn't get the money or time before I graduated, and since graduation I've not had any health insurance.

Anyway, that's why I'm up at 3:46am, and why I tend to write stuff at night. Though I can be on a 'normal' schedule too. It's just HARD for me.

I didn't apply for any jobs yesterday because I couldn't find any to apply for... weekends are not when most people put jobs up there. I did apply for two jobs earlier this week, so that's okay. But I have to find something to apply for tonight. I haven't yet. But since my days are starting in the evenings and ending in the morning, I guess I can wait until the morning, when people start posting openings as they arrive at work.

I want to connect with God tonight. I'm feeling hungry for him. I should have gone to church this morning. I could have forced myself to stay awake and walked to the church around the corner. It's not my church, and it's not really the style I like, but I go occasionally, since I don't usually have a ride to my church. Though if I'd remembered to call her, I could have had a ride today, I think. A woman from my church lives somewhat near to me and we've discussed carpooling. Last week I called her, she said great, but then called back that Saturday to say she'd forgotten she had something to do Sunday at lunch time and it wasn't possible, but maybe next week. Which was today. But I kept thinking about contacting her, surprise surprise, in the middle of the night. So it didn't happen. But actually, maybe I should shoot her a facebook message now, so she has the whole week to see it. It doesn't matter if you facebook message in the middle of the night, after all. It's not like calling!

Sometimes I love the internet.

Ryan just contacted me. I've not heard from him today, so I shall go talk to him.