1 year anniversary! We were so young and carefree....

Me and my hub have officially been together 7 years today (married for over 2). I can’t say we have it all figured out and I can’t say that I don’t throw out terms like "soul mate" and "love of my life." I like those terms and I find them to be sweet and romantic, but often in the day-to-day grind of life our love is more practical and at times sweet and kind. It can also be testy and riddled with bickering. We are certainly far from having the perfect relationship.

We have had 7 years of love and 7 stages of love and it hasn’t been easy. We started out with “falling in love” love. The love that means we couldn’t be away from one another, couldn’t be without one another. Every exchange was intense. The connection was immediate and strong. It was live or die kind of love, though we didn’t have to say much because we knew it in our hearts. The "I love you" came 4 months down the road, but I knew it was love instantly.

Then came the love of “where is this going” and how are we incorporating each other in our independent lives. This was a harder stage for me than him. He was ready to move in, while I was nervous and wanted to make it on my own. He waited, like he did a lot for me, so I could be strong and independent. He was there for me during these times as well. A rock I had not experienced. My dad got sick after 8 years of us not talking, and he was just patient and calm. I was confused and freaked out, rightfully so, and he was there again. Silent at times because he had no clue what to say, but he was there. That brought us into the stage of love that becomes really deeply rooted because you have been through things, and you have ridden the tides together. That was a major turning point because it’s was a bonding experience.

Which then took us into our period of space. Here I was again, freaking out. We had just weathered quite a storm (…yet another beautiful storm) and I was edgy and selfish. I thought space was required. I couldn’t believe I had someone like this, and I wasn’t ready to settle down. So I pushed him away, or at least I tried.

Here is the love of “I can’t let you go.” No matter how we tried to separate, we couldn’t do it. We started thinking if we can’t be apart, why aren’t we together. So here was the stage of “let’s give this another try” and so we did. Slowly we were starting to tell family and friends we were back together. It was a new awakening to our relationship. It was like starting over. Everything felt new and shiny. Who knew it was a calm quite before our biggest storm. Here comes the “holy sh*t we’re pregnant” stage. This stage was tormented with fear and questions. “How could we do this? Are we ready? Could we be good parents? Do we have enough means?” The list went on. But we faced it. We faced our biggest fear head on and had the biggest payoff yet, bringing us to our “I’m in love with our family” stage. The high of being a new parent is like no other. We spent most of our son’s first days just staring at him. Had he not been an infant we would have pinched him to make sure he was really there. It was pure joy and amazement. Everything else pretty much faded away.

We just had our second child so we have made a full circle back to this stage and I am happy to be in it. There is nothing like it and yet at the same time it’s a stage that brings stress, sleepless nights, questions, and anxieties.

As years go on I am sure there are more stages to come, but at this stage of life I am happy we have each other and everything else is just a bonus ... and I mean really, really, seriously cute bonus in the form of our two love children!

In a perfect world, I wish all mommy’s could: Be stay at home mom’s (if they choose)- the only ones wiping butts and noses, cuddling and playing, kissing boo-boo’s and telling stories and being there for every step, word & smile. Have bodies that bounce back with ease after delivery- to be free of stretched skin, C-section scars, bigger feet, boobs to the floor and periods that go back with easy regularity (and hormones that balance…yea how great that after birth we don’t have tears for what seems like no apparent reason!) and finally and most conveniently to fit back into every single piece of clothing that fit prior to pregnancy (how many mom’s out there that have so many different sizes of jeans you don’t know what to do with them!! There is the pair that fit before two babies, the pair that fit in between babies, the pair that fit with that extra 10 pounds, the maternity jeans, the pair that fits when we starve for a week, and man thank you god for leggings/jeggings!! What the heck would we do without them? Can jeggings be my uniform?!)

Feel guilt free when we….. spend girl’s nights drinking wine and eating comfort food, spend money on ourselves for a facial or a mani/pedi, or even a minor shopping spree, go away with our partners to reconnect or even to take a vacation without them (now that’s a big dream, or nightmare depending on the mom!!) go back to school to identify our other passions besides motherhood, take an hour to ourselves every day, or….let’s say start a blog with no idea where it’s going ! (HA!)

As the new year was quickly approaching I made many resolutions as I always do. I once again pledged my staple resolution – to work out and eat right, but I made a few new ones and the main one involves the birth of this blog. I’ve always written and it's always been a true constant in my life but I never really made the leap to allow other people to read what I’ve written mostly due to insecurities about not being good enough. But this year I just wanted to make a change and do something that was for me. The me that wasn’t just a mom, wife, or part time employee. So here it is. I admit, I am still working out the kinks as to how it should flow or what it should say. Mostly, the fear I have is that I can be very filter less and I don’t know how that will really fly. I think it will be great for readers, but my husband….it’s safe to say he is a little apprehensive and rightfully so. My best writing is always what I am going through, and as my friends and family know, I have certainly had moments of dancing in the rain, and moments of drowning in the downpour. I think though, that is true of anyone and that makes us all relate. The difference is I am really and truly willing to share it. So I hope my few readers out there will stay along for the ride and enjoy it with me. Like I said, I don’t know where this will all go, but I think it’s finally time I take a chance with my writing and try to share my storms whatever they may bring. Happy New Year!!