Saturday, June 24, 2006

I love my mommy

So as I've said before, I've been miserable.

First off, I haven't had a day off in over a month. I've been at work and/or church every single day, weekends included, and working longer hours at work, too. Plus I have other commitments. I have two major deadlines looming, and a minor presentation behind me now. So I'm stressed, and tired, so much so that I managed to give myself a toothache.

When I'm stressed and tired, I get depressed. I've struggled with depression the entirety of my adult life, and it was severe for most of that time. So when I'm stressed out, all of that comes out. I spend my time panicking and freaking out about every little thing (the TV is too loud! There is dust on my desk! I'm fat! I forgot to do one minor little thing, so I'm a total failure!), literally, and that, of course, lowers my productivity and that, of course, makes me more stressed.

Why am I telling you all this? I really do try to keep my personal life out of this blog; that's what my Livejournal is for.

But that's the background for explaining why what my mom said means so much to me.

I was on the phone with her (I talk to her every day, even though we live 600 miles apart and I'm almost 25), and I was telling her how I feel very unproductive and lazy. She said, "But you're always doing something! You knit, you have your garden..." I told her that's true, but I don't do things that are productive, that I need for my education, nearly as much. She said, "Oh, you never know what's really necessary. You don't know what will come in handy. You'll never be without a living, with all that you know how to do."

Seriously, that was the sweetest thing anyone's said to me in a while. My knitting, a worthwhile activity? Something I should be proud of, rather than "just a hobby"?

3 Comments:

I'm sorry you've been stressed. I've been there, believe me. But what your mom said is true, and how nice that she said it to you and made you feel better when you needed it. I guess that's why moms get paid the big bucks.

That's very sweet (and very true!)Hang in there, things will feel better soon. I've been there too ...ask my husband! LOL! He very calmly and sweetly looked at me earlier and said "I can't seem to do anything right today" ... this after I spent the entire morning whining and fussing and just having a poor attitude. Guess I'm having that kind of weekend too ;0) Can't wait to get back to my old laid-back stress-free self again.

I agree with your mum, every little thing that we know or do, no matter how trivial, comes in useful at the oddest of times. An old friend once told me to "smell the flowers and count your blessings" when I'm down and I say "go buy some yarn and start a new project".(smiles)

About Me

I got a doctorate in cell biology, and soon after abandoned labwork to stay home with my two girls, Gnarly (6/09) and Walby (8/11). Here, I hope to tell of my adventures as a work-at-home mama, cook, knitter, crafter, wannabe baker, and, oh yeah, an aspiring housekeeper!
Check me out on Ravelry.com -- I'm blakdove.