Tuesday, July 14:
• A Sweetheart from San Antone celebrated Bastille Day by getting pinched for felony possession of a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance and also for being dogged by a felony warrant from an outside agency.
• It seems that the above's Cohort in Crime was also charged with felony possession of a PG 1 controlled substance.
• Ditto - and in addition, another babe, who appears to have no known abode, also found herself unable to provide identification, a misdemeanor for which she was also charged.
• A DeQuad from Del Rio seems to have attempted - rather unsuccessfully, one can assume - to have stolen something worth between $50 and $500.
• More Scofflaws from San Antonio have blighted our fair community. One faces a quartet of misdemeanors, including driving without a license or liability insurance, failing to appear and being dogged by yet another failure-to-appear warrant. Another boyo apparently was carrying the by-now nearly obligatory felony PG 1 controlled substance while anther did that and seemingly drove without a license, as well. Will it never end?
• According to local constabulary, a Bandera Blockhead drove without a license, failed to appear, attempted to evade two warrants that suggested he might not have paid strict attention to the suggestion of previous courts and was being chased by another from an outside agency. Granted all these charges were of the misdemeanor kind, but still ...
Friday, July 17:
• A Bandera Booby remains confined to the county can after she was caught carrying more that four grams but less than 200 grams of a popular controlled substance.
• So, not only was this Bandera Boozer caught driving drunk for a first time, but he also possessed inhalant paraphernalia to boot.
Saturday, July 18:
• Well, what would a Saturday night in Bantucky be without someone getting nicked for having the ubiquitous PG 1 controlled substance in his pocket and for disorderly conduct that accompanies its consumption?
• This is great! A Master Criminal was picked up for having seven capius pro fine misdemeanor warrants in his past. For the law abiding populace, that means he was brought before a magistrate of some sort seven times and failed to complete any of the judges' suggestions. Oh, puhleeze!!!
Sunday, July 19:
• During the past Sabbath, an Idjit from Ingram was caught a second time driving while inebriated; a Bandera Bonehead also got behind a wheel while three sheets to the wind for a first time; and another local yokel was thought to have been pickled in public.
• And that, Ladies and Germs, is that.