18 June 2007

The so called Army Of Islam, which in reality is just an elite group of Gazan businessmen (According to The Times, the Army of Islam is an offshoot of the powerful Dagmoush clan, which is renowned for extortion, smuggling, arms dealing and the ruthless dispatch of rivals, and has been dubbed the “Sopranos of Gaza City) has an interesting view on the ways to get on the good side of their deity.

A shadowy group holding a British correspondent for three months threatened on Sunday to kill him, in a video broadcast by the Al-Jazeera satellite TV channel. A spokesman for The Army of Islam, identified as Abu Khattab, told Al-Jazeera that there was no deal to release BBC correspondent Alan Johnston, and “If the situation gets more complicated concerning us and our group, then we will ingrate ourselves to Allah by slaying this journalist.”

Of course, that "ingrate" shall remain on the consciousness (yeah, right...) of AP or Ynet, but there is no difficulty to get the drift, is there? Allah the compassionate, apparently, is easily "ingrated" by a slaying or too. I believe he is happy as a clam with the latest goings-on is Gaza too...

Meanwhile, as an idle observation: the whole business around Alan Johnston, with Hamas issuing unspecified threats in the general direction of the kidnappers and the kidnappers, who are just another offshoot of the said Hamas, returning their threats, somehow reminds me that scene from the Blazing Saddles, where sheriff Bart threatens to shoot sheriff Bart, unless...

Unfortunately, there is a nuance - an innocent journalist's life is involved. But, as mentioned above, slaying him will only "ingrate" Hamas A and Hamas B with Allah...

17 June 2007

This revolting display of zealotry is fairly typical, unfortunately, for newly turned converts. It seems that what our hero calls "filthy Judaism" was a bit too difficult for him. He was in need of a "flawless deity" - in other words in need of simple no-nonsense guidance, built upon straight slogans that will direct his worthless life.

Unfortunately, simple slogans carry their magic for some unstable empty-headed characters, just waiting to fill the vacuum. And Judaism, like Christianity or communism or Maoism, know their fair share of zealots too. Of course, in this case, the readiness to kill and to sacrifice his own flesh and blood is outstanding.

Aw, what the heck. It is vastly preferable to watch this, somehow related, scene:

16 June 2007

The BBC apologized this week for referring to Jerusalem as Israel's capital, and promised not to repeat "the mistake," following a complaint by four British organizations.Arab Media Watch, Muslim Public Affairs Committee, Friends of Al-Aksa and the Institute of Islamic Political Thought sent a joint complaint to the BBC after a presenter on its Football Focus program on March 24 mentioned that Jerusalem was Israel's capital and "historic soul."

Knowing a bit about these four organizations, it is not surprising that BBC was so eager to offer its profuse apologies. After all, everything is flammable, as the latest developments in Gaza clearly show.

But both the vocal protests and the posterior-licking apologies are besides the point. The point is that no matter what BBC thinks, it is more important what these folks believe in:

The successful launch of the Ofek 7 spy satellite on Thursday has already started bearing fruit.

The object in the picture belongs to Ahmydinnerjacket, and the picture presented here was cropped from a larger image to keep the (strategic) location of the object undisclosed. For strategic reasons, of course, but also to reduce the offensive nature of the precise location.

14 June 2007

Some people expressed their disbelief in our latest notice to the world about this, hitherto controversial, character. Since the day of publication of this momentous article, our field operatives have been very busy in the field (where they belong, instead of raiding the department fridge and ogling my secretary). Of course, due to the secrecy that surrounded the Jewish connection of the Commandante, the task is not easy. But the first ironclad piece of evidence eventually surfaced in the archives of the Jerusalem central yeshiva of religious-Zionist movement - Yeshivat Merkaz Ha Rav. To remind you, this is where Che spent the happiest year of his short but eventful life, totally engrossed in the ancient wisdom of the Hebrews, frequently forgetting the most sacred ritual of the yeshiva - the meal times.

As any yeshiva student, Che had to carry a student ID card - both for security reasons and to prevent the entrance of freeloaders. And it was our unbelievable luck to locate this card with a (low quality, but clear enough at that) picture of Che.

We have also located the photographer who has taken the picture (after Che spent a month in hiding, growing his hair according to the obligatory fashion). The red background, it was explained, served as the best measure to hide the location, the time of the day and the surrounding scenery that could have been otherwise discovered by CIA and KGB. On the other hand, the new image of Che was an ideal one for hiding from the above mentioned unmentionables - who would look twice at a yeshiva student when seeking the fiery Commandante?

It is very possible that in the next newsflash we'll present the rabbinical diploma of Che (it is a very rare case when an especially gifted student finishes the studies and is able to pass the final exams in one year). We are currently in the difficult, but nonetheless enjoyable process of turning the screws on the Mossad Chief Archivist. Soon...

13 June 2007

There are many techniques of poisoning the wells of friendship between Christians and Jews. Cyrus of Christian Hate? tells the story about two members of Ecumenical Accompaniment Programme in Palestine and Israel and their amazingly one-sided conclusions.

Indeed these two idealistic people seem to have convinced themselves that presenting one-sided propaganda is a positive moral imperative for them - but more of that later.

I'll begin by dealing relatively briefly with three fairly predictable manifestations of propaganda, before going on to a more detailed examination of one which took me aback.

Part 1 of the post, linked above, takes apart some of the main points conveyed by the two.

Part2 delves into details of the ancient well poisoning technique based on... well poisoning.

When you know people, people will inadvertently let you know some other people. This is was happened when I read a short post by Olly, he of the Olly's Onions, about a discovery of the real John Lennon's killer. Following the lead, I browsed (without any undue excitement) through the overabundant proof of Stephen King being the perpetrator of one of the most heinous crimes of the last century.

What can I say: Steve Lightfoot, the author of the whole file, should not have bothered that much. After all, here he brings all the proof a reasonable individual may possibly require:

Nope. Stephen King has never even denied my claims, publicly, ever. This in spite of the fact that I spent several months in his hometown of Bangor, Maine in 1992 with my emblazened van and magazine.

And if this does not clinch the deal in some reactionary, small-minded brains, consider The Dark Tower series: a person who wrote this will not stop before any crime, there could be no doubt whatsoever now, don't you see?

Yeah... I wish this is where it has ended. But no, I have stuck my long proboscis into another page on the same site. It was a real shocker, although it starts quite in a correct way, albeit showing some naivety and lack of information on the side of our Steve here:

And, before I begin, I am not an anti-Semite. I think 95% of Jews are just fine.

Of course, it is just the opposite: 95% of us are just what he thinks the other 5% are: saber-rattling aggressive blood-drinking running neocon lackeys of the world Zio-imperialism (which in turn is a mere facade of the Elders' outfit). It is the other 5% of us who are limp-wristed under-indoctrinated liberals, suffering from lack of sun and essential vitamins and mostly located on the island of Albion.

But then Steve sees some glimmers of the truth:

The Jews openly brag that New York City and Washington D.C. are under Zionist occupation now. It's not a matter of dispute. It can be proved. It can also be proved that our banks and media are also under Jewish control, by and large. I've also heard our military is as well.

Sure Steve, no argument here. And look at the Fort Knox - a veritable nest of Zionists. And of course, it does not stop with NYC and Washington, we owe it all - lock, stock and barrel. And I do not mean just US of A...

Anyway, the beginning of this piece has shown that Steve has some healthy instincts and could have grokked the truth, namely that he, like any other person on this globe, is just a puppet in the merciless hands of the Elders. But no... he went immediately off the track, apparently being transfixed by the idea that Russia, merely a third-rate* world power, dictates something to somebody.

But I must put my credibility on the line and say that all this could only make sense if our government has succumbed to nuclear blackmail from the former Soviet Union and is going totalitarian on us behind our backs lest we get nuked per their threats.

Ehehe, Steve - it is much more than your credibility that is on the line here. Of course, we have taken into account all the extenuating circumstances. Such as:

Lightfoot is an English sirname [sic!] and I am also part Scot, Irish and Yugoslavian.

Show a fertile ground for multiple personalities disorder.

I have two brothers and a sister and I had a pretty normal upbringing.

Oh well, obviously, if you say so, Steve. And here is the key character witness:

I met a young woman at the time who proved to be quite the pathological liar. When we met she gave me a phony name and past and lived with me for a short time....This experience made me different from most of you because I was no longer naive about liars or lies.

This one has almost made us stop. Even the most battle-scarred field operatives were seen turning away, doubtlessly to wipe a tear or two. But, at the end of the day, the good of the outfit required that Steve be thoroughly punished, and a pair of our trained reptilians has been dispatched to General Delivery**, Santa Rosa, CA 95402. To make it simpler for the reptilians, every person named Steve above age of 18 will be taken care of.

It will be gory in Santa Rosa for a while. But at least from now on no one will have the temerity to say that Russia is controlling the world.

Pfui!

(*) Being the real masters of the world, we, the Elders, do not see any use in rating the nations according to any criteria whatsoever. But for the public purposes, to make it simpler for some rather annoying characters, we let US of A rank as # 2 and all the others are automatically assigned the third rank. So here.

(**) Why would a person name his mansion General Delivery is beyond us, but Steve definitely cannot be measured by the common standards. Too bad we have to...

12 June 2007

The DePaul University decision not to grant a tenure to Norman Finkelstein is carefully wrapped in the bureaucratic lingo. So we have decided to help you our with some more difficult passages.

He is a nationally known scholar and public intellectual, considered provocative, challenging and intellectually interesting, although the dossier reveals some division of opinion as to the soundness of some of his scholarship.

"Public intellectual" is a curious term even for the bureaucratic lingo. One expects a scientist (which title Finkelstein holds to for dear life) to be, you know, a scientific intellectual. "Public intellectual" sounds like... a motormouth, shall I say, to be polite.

...comments from the department minority report are critical of the accuracy of some of the evidence he uses in his scholarship and the cogency of some of his arguments.

Simply put - the man does not hesitate to invent some material he is in need of for an especially intellectual public performance.

The UBPT found his service at the departmental level to be limited, with no service at the college or university level.

In other words, our intellectual cannot spare time for mundane university business. Too busy sharpening his tongue for TV.

Criticism has been expressed for his inflammatory style and personal attacks in his writings and intellectual debates.

That means that, instead of trying to argue on a level, Mr Finkelstein will behave like a regular blogger - meaning spew some invectives to cover for his lack of knowledge or lack of arguments.

Well, what do we have here: a cheating, big mouthed, lazy and rude "scientist".

Being a regular blogger, I do not see a reason not to make the conclusion even easier for my readers:

If you thought that life in Israel is boring, here comes a lively story:

A Ramat Gan resident was indicted at the Tel Aviv District Court Sunday for arson, after he torched a man's motorbike because the latter failed to give him his squirrel. According to the complainant's testimony, Anton Surami, 25, arrived at the complainant's place of work, a pizza parlor in Ramat Gan, last week. The complainant was carrying his pet squirrel in his fanny pack, and upon seeing the small rodent, Surami grabbed it and demanded to take it with him. The complainant refused and took the squirrel back....But the appeasement efforts proved futile, and Surami responded by shoving the complainant, slapping him, and running toward him with a kitchen knife. Two hours later, Surami torched the complainant's bike that was parked under his house.

Judging by the eruption of emotions, it must be love at first sight - the feeling you thought does not exist anymore...

Listen to a good advice, Anton: do not judge by appearance lest you end up with a partner like this one:

11 June 2007

The Palestinian journalists' union criticised militants on Sunday for using a vehicle marked with a "TV" sign to approach Gaza's border with Israel and attack an Israeli military position across the frontier.One militant was killed in Saturday's attack, jointly claimed by Islamic Jihad and al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, an armed wing of President Mahmoud Abbas Fatah faction. The Israeli military said none of its soldiers was hurt.

"The use of vehicles that carry 'Press', 'TV' or other signs ... expose journalists' lives to danger, gives the Israeli occupation a pretext to target and kill journalists and restricts their ability to perform their professional and national duties," the Palestinian Journalist Syndicate said.

So far so mundane - after all, this is not the first time a vehicle with 'Press' sign or an ambulance carries brave "freedom fighters". But here comes the punch line:

Abu Ahmed, spokesman for Islamic Jihad's armed wing, accused the Israeli military of fixing the TV sign to the armored car.

Truth, apparently, is in the eyes of the beholder. Here are some samples of another Zionist conspiracy:

I have to say: them Zionist Hasbara bandits have done a quick paint job this time!

And, as a matter of routine, this attack on the crossing must trigger a series of UN inquiries and protests of the closed border check posts. Stands to reason.

Yet another potential impact from global warming: It may speed Earth's rotation. According to a computer model run by scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Meteorology in Hamburg, Germany, climate change will warm the oceans; as the water warms, it will expand, causing sea level to rise—already up 0.17 meter (nearly seven inches) over the course of the last century—shifting liquid from the ocean depths to the shallows near shore.

As a result, the relative distribution of water mass will shift away from the equator and closer to the poles. Enough water will move that Earth will actually spin slightly faster, like a figure skater who brings her arms closer to her body. "Earth's rotation rate changes if its moment of inertia is altered via redistribution of mass in the oceans," geophysicist Felix Landerer and his colleagues report in Geophysical Research Letters. The result: a day that is 0.12 millisecond—slightly more than one ten-thousandth of a second—shorter two centuries from now.

Of course, the speeding up will play havoc with our watches that shall be adjusted to the new rotation speed.

But think about the possibility that the paycheck day will come quicker and quicker every year!

09 June 2007

I don't know what to say. The whole Elders' HQ is buzzing like a hornets' nest that senses an approaching bear and just waits for the command "go". The problem is, there is nowhere to go at the moment. The wench is dead...

But let's start from the beginning - which is another lament on the poor state of the Elders' archive caused by the stupid decision to keep the accounting records in the same building, thus increasing the flammability quotient of the whole sky high. Of course, as a result a lot of information is lost irretrievably, and we are forced to scrounge data by bits and pieces in a most humiliating manner. Like from this story. About this man:

(Being of pluralistic persuasion, I allowed you to settle on a picture of your choice. You may try to guess which one I like most, but no prizes.) The story is translated from Russian with the kind assistance of Babelfish (due to my laziness), so apologies for the result (selected quotes only).

Some see in him a fanatic and pitiless killer, who was desperately rushing forward seeking death, leading the naive and blindly devoted to him people, foolhardily taking other people's lives in the name of questionable and erroneous ideas. Others consider him a glorious hero, defender of weak and oppressed, romantic leader of entire generations of youngsters.

Who was he in reality, this ardent Latin American revolutionary, who reached the peaks of authority on “the island of freedom" and was killed in the foreign land, the object of devotion by his friends and of hate to his enemies even after death?Only forty years after the death of Ernesto Guevara, the declassified materials from the archives of intelligence services of super-powers opened to us the true background of the improbable and tragic events, which overturned the life of Comandante. New documents bared with penetrating clarity the dramatic fate of the hero, who learned the secret of his Jewish origin, returned to his people and faith and died in search for salvation of the land and people of Israel.

Probably, everything began at the end of 1964. Possibly then Ernesto's mother, sensing close death (she will die in May 1965) disclosed to her son the surprising history of its life. Celia De La Serna was borne in 1908 into Buenos Aires religious family of Jewish emigrants from Russia. Girl named - Celia in memory of her aunt killed during the pogroms. Until age of eighteen Celia Sheinerman grew in the closed and stuffy emigrant ghetto, getting traditional Jewish education. However, upon official maturity, she immediately left the parents' house and religion, changed her Jewish name and only an year later married Ernesto Guevara Linch, a native of Argentina a. A year later she gave birth to Ernesto. Neither Che nor his four brothers and sisters ever suspected their Jewish roots.

Celia has thoroughly hidden her Jewishness, without telling about it even to her husband.Nevertheless, not long before death, she entrusts her secret to her dear son. The shaken Che learns that, according to Jewish tradition, he is a Jew and that in the old world he has close relatives along the maternal line. Celia knew from her parents that her brother Samuel, eighteen years older than she, remained in Russia. Like her sister, he left the house of his parents, for Zionist reasons, after refusing to go into Argentina. Celia knew about him only that after the departure of his parents, he left to Caucasus, and from there moved to Palestine.

It is only possible to guess the confusion caused by the revelations of his mother in Che's soul. Never before thinking much about Jews or about Israel, he begins to study greedily everything he can find about his people. The Jewish state, liberated from the British colonial regime, that knew how to protect itself from the bourgeois Arab regimes won his sympathy in early days, but now he feels that something stronger connected him to Israel.

(Now, now, be patient - the fireworks have not yet started!)

On 19 February, 1965, Guevara arrives to Egypt. In the United Arab Republic, which included then Egypt and Syria, Che will stay for a week week until 24 February. And then on 1 March he reappears in the Nile valley, remaining in Egypt for almost two weeks. But where has the Cuban minister spent the days between February 24 and March 1? The answer to this question became known only in 2007, when some CIA documents were declassified.

On 25 February, 1965, Guevara leaves Egypt for Cyprus, and from there arrives to Israel, having for the first time entered the land of his ancestors. Guevara arrives in Israel incognito, he turns himself to the emigration service in Haifa in the almost futile attempt to find the family of his uncle; and the miracle happens: he reveals that he has a cousin of the same age!

However, the cousin also did not preserve the parental surname. Eventually Ernesto Che Guevara meets in in Tel Aviv this cousin, the commander of the division of the combat training section of general staff, recently promoted to the rank of Major General - Ariel Sharon.

Brothers Sheinerman, 1965

See - I promised you a bomb. But wait, we are not done yet...

Guevara again levels charges at the USSR, hinting that it "sells its aid to people revolutions", for its own profit. In Moscow the speech is perceived as an insult, relations between Che and Fidel Castro are damaged finally.

On 14 March Comandante arrives into Havana, and on April 1 he writes the farewell letters to his parents, children and his former nearest friend - Fidel, in which, he rejects the Cuban citizenship. In spring of 1965 Che leaves Cuba, heading in unknown direction.

According to the official version, Che appears in the Belgian Congo, where allegedly he trains the partisans for the purpose of the overthrow of government. However, the extremely unsuccessful shooting war in Congo proves the fact that for Che the Congo is only a cover. In reality, he does not stay in Africa and arrives in Jerusalem immediately.

The cousin acquaints Guevara with his friend and contemporary - rabbi Eliyahu Shaar Ishuv Cohen, who occupies at that moment the post of the deputy mayor of the capital. Under the guidance of Shaar Ishuv Cohen, Guevara begins his way to the Jewish tradition, studying Tora in central yeshiva of religious-Zionist movement - Yeshivat Merkaz Ha Rav.

There is more, much, much more in the story, but I am exhausted and our field operatives shall gather more information, so I shall quit here. I am sure that you are exhausted too by now, and that your flabber is thoroughly gasted.

07 June 2007

I got the story first from Sue Helen (a temporary name till she 'fesses up to the real one) from Trashology.

A $10 dry cleaning bill for a pair of trousers has ballooned into a $67 million civil lawsuit. Plaintiff Roy Pearson, a judge in Washington, D.C., says in court papers that he's been through the ringer over a lost pair of prized pants he wanted to wear on his first day on the bench.

He says in court papers that he has endured "mental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort."

He says he was unable to wear that favorite suit on his first day of work. He's suing for 10 years of weekend car rentals so he can transport his dry cleaning to another store.

As you can see, we know now the real force behind the recent bloom of Dow Jones index. The price of pants produced for legal beagles is relentlessly driving the global economy upward.

The trend, however, can suffer a sudden downturn, with the unexpected decision of the plaintiff to reduce the amount of the lawsuit.

A judge who was seeking $67 million from a dry cleaners that lost his pants has loosened the belt on his lawsuit. Now, he's asking for only $54 million, according to a May 30 court filing in D.C. Superior Court.

He is now focusing his claims on signs in the shop that have since been removed. The suit alleges that Jin Nam Chung, Soo Chung and Ki Chung committed fraud and misled consumers with signs that claimed "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service."

I don't know about the other items the learned judge is suing for, but I have no doubts whatsoever about the clause regarding the mental suffering. It seems that the sudden disappearance of his beloved pair of pants has inflicted irreparable damage on his mental facilities.

Whether the padded room should be financed from the proceedings of the lawsuit or by the judge's medical insurance, is another matter that I shall leave to my learned readers to decide upon.

06 June 2007

This BBC compilation of accounts by several persons whose life was touched by Six-Days War triggered a personal memory.

For the few first days of the war, in our smallish provincial Soviet town we were fed by Soviet propaganda that was mostly translating victorious reports by Arab governments, proudly and pompously describing their unstoppable march through the helpless Zionist entity and its imminent destruction. The Voice of Israel was mostly mum, following the "fog of battle" doctrine. So, as you can imagine, the spirits in the small Jewish community were rather low.

Of course, in a few days it all changed. After the initial period of chaos and uncertainty, the Soviet media started berating the Zionist aggressor that, as it suddenly become clear, used its own death throes as a smokescreen to insinuate itself to Suez canal, Jordan river, etc... Playing unfair, as usual.

But this is not the point of that story that took part in a month or so after the war. It so happened that the small artificial lake near our town, being fed by a smallish and muddy stream, became too muddy itself for safe use by the town children, and it was decided to clean it up. To this end the lake was emptied and a bulldozer went in to deal with the accumulated mud. After a few minutes the bulldozer got stuck in the middle. A second, bigger bulldozer was sent to get the first one out and got promptly stuck nearby.

Due to the story unfolding in the middle of a hot summer, lots of local luminaries decided to leave their stuffy offices and to take part in the recovery operation. Which meant standing around the lake and issuing useless and contradictory instructions. For a while, some fairly feeble and weak (this being a hot summer day) rescue activities continued, but soon enough it became clear that there is no way for the two bulldozers to extricate themselves. After a longish period of contemplation (still preferable to sitting in that stuffy office, remember), someone came up with a brilliant idea - to ask a local military unit for a tank. A flunky was dispatched to the nearest phone, and soon the news of a positive response were made known to the crowd. Needless to say, that we, the children, took part in the gathering, this being one of the hot and boring summer vacation days, and the news of a real tank coming to the scene thrilled us immeasurably.

The exhilaration of the news was soon replaced by the boredom of the interminable wait. Some of the above mentioned VIP have started to disappear, probably in pursuit of their regular daily duties or just for a power lunch. The children, however, being more creative in the ways of wasting time, found some occupations that did not require leaving the scene.

After about two hours, one of the local bosses still remaining on the scene issued a stream of invectives addressed chiefly at these no good lazy bastards of the army, adding this interesting observation:

"We should have called the fucking Israelis to start with - they could have been here in no time".

Which astute remark I have remembered for the last 40 years, as you can see...

05 June 2007

This is the first sentence in another rant by incomparable Robert Fisk (here he is in all his glory, lest you forget).

The headline of the rant is "Can the Lebanese army fight America's war against terror?" What does a legitimate attempt of the legitimate Lebanese government to eliminate a gang of mostly foreign Islamist moonbats of Fatah al-Islam (definitely a nice bunch if you read what Wiki has to say about them). After a bank robbery, followed by killing almost thirty Lebanese soldiers, this goal of Lebanese could be hardly called a whim. Especially in the light of quite a lenient view the Lebanese authorities have been taking on the use of Palestinian refugee camps by scum of all kinds up till now. This according to Al Jazeera:

Fatah al-Islam has been accused of involvement in the bombing of a bus in a Christian area northeast of Beirut in February, in which three people were killed. It denies carrying out the bombing. The organisation has accused the Lebanese government of threatening the country's Palestinian refugee camps, which hold more than 200,000 people. Lebanon's armed forces have long agreed not to enter the refugee camps. However, this agreement is at odds with a UN Security Council resolution passed in October 2004, which calls implicitly for action to be taken against armed Palestinian groups.Resolution 1559 seeks the "disbanding and disarmament of all Lebanese and non-Lebanese militias", referring not only to the Shia movement Hezbollah, but also to groups such as Fatah al-Islam inside the refugee camps.

But not according to Fisk. "Another chapter in the war on terror" is the sentence he uses, in a transparent attempt to present the fighting as another chapter in American-led WOT. And this is only for starters. Here comes another culprit:

In reality, it is another tragedy in that same conflict (though let's delete the word "terror"). The Gazelles have no rockets - courtesy of the United States, because Israel fears they will be used against its own forces.

The first sentence in the above quote is too cryptic for me, especially after reading the second one. What is it that looks as tragedy to Fisk - the Lebanese army bombarding the camp or the lack of rockets for the army helicopters? In any case, this is another Fisk, since the same Al Jazeera reports:

On Sunday, Lebanese military helicopters fired rockets and machinegun barrages at targets on the Nahr al-Bared refugee camp's coastal side.

The next one is also quite amazing:

The Belgians even offered Leopard tanks - again vetoed by the United States - in case the Lebanese used them against the Israelis. So the Lebanese are armed sufficiently to fight Palestinians, but not enough to fight their enemies on their southern frontier.

So, the Lebanese government trying to clean up its house, and here comes Mr Fisk fingering another "enemy", the one on the southern border. Interesting, why is it so important to Fisk that Lebanese people see Israel as an enemy (which it is not, unless that malignant growth called Hezbollah is concerned)?

According to the author, it all makes sense. Does it make sense to you?

I don't know from no "political nuance", you hear me? I mean, who cares to answer lots of prickly questions when the right and wrong answer is already prescribed? Anyway it all depends on my mood. Just take a look at it:

1. Where would you rather live? a) Cuba; b) United States2. Where would you rather live? a) North Korea; b) Israel3. Where would you rather live? a) Mugabe's Zimbabwe; b) Ian Smith's Rhodesia4. Where would you rather live? a) East Germany; b) Post 1990 Germany5. Would you rather? a) Withdraw from Iraq, fight Al Qaeda in Afghanistan; b) Stabilise Iraq, fight Al Qaeda wherever they are6. Who would you rather be tortured by? a) Al Qaeda; b) the United States7. Who was the better President? a) Bill Clinton; b) Ronald Reagan8. If your child converted religions then which would you prefer them to change to? a) Islam; b) Buddhism9. If you see Muslims praying loudly and shouting "Allahu Akhbar" in an airport departure lounge what would you do?: a) Not worry about it because all cultures are equal; b) Be happy to see airport security questioning them10. You believe that the science of Global Warming is: a) settled; b) inconclusive and subject to ongoing research

1-3: A disappointing result. Perhaps you haven't yet been mugged by reality after being indoctrinated by all of those years in the education system. There's still hope for you, though, if you recognise the danger to your moral compass early enough.

4-7: I bet you think that the New York Times is the world's best newspaper, don't accept blame for the 3 million deaths caused by the US withdrawal from Vietnam, have a 'War is not the answer' bumper sticker on your car, believe Global Warming is man made and that world wide terrorism is the United States' fault and nothing to do with Islam. You are absolutely part of the problem and not the solution.

8-9: You are definitely a Useful Idiot. You contribute nothing to the world while also complaining about everything.

10: Holy smoke, Batman! We have a real Cindy Sheehan, DailyKos, Huffington Post type on our hands. You need to move to Cuba. Or Camp Casey. Just go. And good riddance.

A Polish man has woken up from a 19-year coma to find the Communist party no longer in power and food no longer rationed, Polish TV reports. Railway worker Jan Grzebski, 65, fell into a coma after he was hit by a train in 1988. "Now I see people on the streets with mobile phones and there are so many goods in the shops it makes my head spin," he told Polish television.

As you can see, the reality is sometimes slavishly following the art. Obviously Mr Grzebski was doubly lucky - he is recovering from a coma and, on top of it, he missed the most painful years of Polish "perestroika". Truly a miracle, and he will get used to the good parts. Then, of course, he will get wise to the bad ones and start complaining and it will be business as usual from this point on...

There is more useful information in the article, though:

A comatose patient is in a profound state of unconsciousness which renders them unaware of both self and the world around them, and from which they cannot be roused.Although those in a coma do not respond to stimuli in a meaningful way, contrary to popular belief they do not always lie quiet and still - in some cases they can move, open their eyes and even talk.

I like the understated and gentle way BBC put it. After all, they do not want to alienate all these nice people:

There still is some hope for them, as Mr Grzebski has clearly demonstrated. Besides, BBC wants to be careful with this man:

Of course, there is no hope for that one, as you can clearlysee. But let's not disturb him...

Just for the sake of argument, let's suppose that you're a British academic. You believe strongly that the occupation must end, that the Palestinians should have an independent state, that Israel's military and diplomatic policies are wrongheaded to the point of immorality.

What to do? Simple. Find the one group within Israeli society which has consistently, vigorously and courageously campaigned against the occupation since its inception.

Then attack them.

There is more, much more where it comes from, so go and read it. I will conclude the quoting with this:

Perhaps this is why the whole boycott campaign smacks of a uniquely far-left British brand of moral masturbation, a desperate, delusional, sterile, supremely self-contained form of non-activism that risks nothing even as it changes nothing.

Only one technical remark: seeing some of the more prominent boycott sponsors, I would suggest that that "moral" qualifier is not strictly necessary...

03 June 2007

The dust of the UCU boycott brouhaha is still in the air, but the first glimpses of the practical effect the resolutions might have could be already seen. When the leading UK universities such as the ones belonging to the Russel Groupreject the idea outright, there is not a lot left of the resolution in its practical meaning.

But the boycott, I am afraid, wasn't at all about a short term practical goal. The people who spearhead the boycott drive could not care less about the scientific freedom or about cooperation on the joint projects. Moreover - they know very well that scientific cooperation cannot and will not be stopped by a Stalinist style embargo on knowledge.

No, this is not what they work for. They pursue a different long term target - that of stripping the hated Zionist entity of legitimization. The mere fact of Israel's existence is the thorn in their side, and nothing, including the most unholy alliances, will deter them from that goal.

To see the real face of the boycott movement leaders, it is sufficient to view the clip that recorded the amazing treatment of the last Israel-Lebanon war by John Rose* - the leader and main sponsor of the boycott motion. I have made the effort and made it to the end of the clip, so can you (although it may make you sick, so be warned).

While the wild mix of lies, half-truths and sheer ignorance is peerless, there is another feature of the clip that is really exceptional: the level of hate displayed by this character. It distorts the speech and it distorts the face so strongly that there really is only one historic prototype that comes to mind:

No, it is not a submission to the "separated at birth" contest, and I apologize in advance before every reader that may be offended by the comparison. Still, there was nothing else that could be compared to this extraordinary eruption of hate - not even the speeches by Rose's spiritual mentor - one Sheik Nasrallah, levelheaded and balanced in comparison.

And if you have the patience to view the clip to the end, you shall see that nothing short of destruction of the Zionist Entity will satisfy our good speaker. And that his hypocritical care about Lebanese and Palestinians' lot is a very minor theme of his hate speech.

Topple, disband, eliminate... of course, Mr Rose does not mean "kill them all". There is no need to add that part, really. Just to lick the chops in eager anticipation.

Not in your lifetime, quisling.

(*)Tell me who your friends are, they say. Just as a reminder - professor Rose, besides his other doubtless intellectual achievements, is one of the leaders of the notorious SWP - the so called "socialist" party that would be difficult to distinguish from the no less notorious BNP lately.

The Israeli secret service and radical Palestinians may have engineered the hijacking of an Air France plane that flew to Entebbe in Uganda, according to a claim in newly released government documents.

This extraordinary interpretation on the Entebbe raid was cited by a British diplomat, DH Colvin of the Paris embassy, in June 30 1976 as the world was transfixed by the hostage crisis in Entebbe, which features in the recent film The Last King of Scotland.

In a document released by the National Archives, Mr Colvin, citing an unnamed contact at the Euro-Arab parliamentary association, wrote: "According to his information, the hijack was the work of the PFLP [Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine], with help from the Israeli secret service, the Shin Beit."

Why would a respectable member of the Euro-Arab parliamentary association spread a story like this?

Why would Shin Bet do what would be typically Mossad work? To confuse a "British diplomat"?

Why would a respectable media organ like the Guardian pick up a story that smells to high heavens?

02 June 2007

Dieter Bayer, 79, who moved to Switzerland with his wife Frieda after he retired, decided to use the plunger because he could not find the bath plug. But as he stood up to soap himself he slipped and fell heavily on the plunger, wedging the wooden handle up his backside. His wife, 68, who rushed to the bathroom when she heard him screaming in pain, was unable to pull him free and called emergency services.

I doubt we'll ever hear his version of the story, but whatever his sin was, he paid for it. With percentage.

Speaking during an event Thursday with the visiting leader of Vietnam's communist party, Chavez said "international rightist, extreme-rightist and fascist movements are attacking Venezuela from everywhere — from Europe, the United States, Brasilia."

What can I say - them fascists sure look good...

But regarding this:

"...I say that it is much, much, much more probable that the Portuguese empire will again install itself in Brasilia than that the Venezuelan government will return the expired (broadcast) concession to the Venezuelan oligarchy," Chavez said.

01 June 2007

It is strangely fitting that the story in Maariv (the printed Hebrew edition, so no link) is published so close to the date of UCU boycott motion.

The surgery that saved Smadar's vision against all odds was performed yesterday by Dr Mohammed Anwar. The Saudi Arabia leading ophthalmologist overcame the prejudice in his own country and the bureaucratic difficulties in Israel to visit Israel and to perform the groundbreaking surgery.

In his "blitz" visit Dr Anwar planned to demonstrate his revolutionary and unique technique of cornea implant. The advantages of his method: it takes a few minutes after the surgery to know whether it was a success (compared to two weeks using other methods), and the process of recovery takes a few days (compared to a year).

As in any other country Dr Answar visits, he requests to operate on an especially difficult case. Tens of children and adults asked to be considered for the surgery, and 16-years old Smadar was selected. Several years ago her cornea suffered as a result of an allergy. Since then she underwent a few subsequent surgeries, but her vision continued to worsen to the state of almost total blindness.The pioneering medical procedure caused a big excitement in the medical community and the surgery was transmitted live to several hospitals. A few minutes after the end of the surgery it became clear that Smadar got her vision back. ...

So what is the lesson of this (apparently sob) story about a Saudi doctor and an Israeli girl?