Gaming historians believe that there was once an age when developers didn't update their games. Instead, video game makers just released their products and that was it.

Sounds fairly unlikely to me. I mean, how did they fix all the bugs? Checkmate, historians. I await your response.

In this more 'enlightened' age, though, our Android and iOS games are patched more heavily and more frequently than a repenting chain smoker.

So, to help you keep up with the gaming firmware update deluge, we'll be bringing you a weekly round-up of noteworthy new levels, characters, and bug fixes for iOS and 'droid games, as well as the weirdest and silliest patch notes going.

Gameloft's flagship racer has a new flagship car parked up in its virtual garage.

Its name is the SSC Tuatara. The maker of this in-production US hypercar, SSC North America, is hoping the Tuatara can reach a top speed of 276mph in order to beat the 267mph production car world record set by the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport.

Look, real-world automobile manufacturing chaps: take a leaf out of the games industry's book and just stick a nitrous rocket booster on the back. Job done.

Gameloft has also added new cups, more events, and a Koenigsegg Agera R lottery to Asphalt 7: Heat. You're still thinking about that world record, though, aren't you? Don't lie to me.