Should I Wait for My Ex-Boyfriend to Come Back to Me?

A reader asks our relationship expert Rachel Simmons if she’ll ever be able to get back with her ex-boyfriend.[#image: /photos/5582c746a28d9d4e05417ee0]||||||Dear Rachel,_

__My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me about 2 months ago. We have been still hanging out and we still talk. When he broke up with me, he assured me it wasn’t about the girls, hookups, etc. But just last week a girl has been involved with most of his time. __

__I talked to him yesterday and he said he wants no relationship, and he told me he has confidence in us being together someday, if I can just give him his time. He also said he cant be my friend unless I can get over the emotional conversations. __

__I cannot eat, sleep, or basically do anything. He keeps telling me he is single, but then he says that he still loves me and needs his time. I am afraid if I give him that time he will fall into this other girls arms, or another girl. I feel like if I don’t talk to him he will forget about me entirely, and move on. __

I’m Lost!

_Taylor

Dear Taylor,

I have some bad news. This guy has broken up with you. Hes just too much of a WUSS to admit it. I can tell youre smart, so think about this: Hes stringing you along by saying he still loves you, but hes telling you how annoying you are? And hanging out with other girls? And telling you how you cant have emotional conversations? Um, WHAT? I mean, its like hes saying, Yeah, you can be in my life, but you cant have any feelings that bug me, and you cant make any demands on me, and you just have to have some crazy Disney faith that Ill come around, even though all my actions and statements point to the exact opposite.

I know how you feel: You want to believe what hes saying because you love him. You cant imagine life without him, or that anyone else will love you like he did.

Its not true. There is more to life, and guys, and love, than this. Youre going to have to trust me on this. This guy has moved on. And the message you send by sticking around for anything is: Ill let you do whatever you want. Thats not the relationship you want in your life.

Respect yourself: thank this guy for the years you had together. Go home. Cry your eyes out. Eat a lot of ice cream. Listen to sad music. Call your girls and tell them you need them. I promise you will survive this.

For serious. You can do this. I believe in you. Sending you a huge hug.

Rachel

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