Being a left-leaning military spouse can feel isolating. You’re adrift in a sea of conservative-minded peers.

Plus, our military community can sometimes feel like an echo chamber of GOP memes and conservative talking points.

It’s not that you don’t have friends. You do. They just might not quite think and feel the same as you when it comes to politics.

Here’s the truth: I have been a closet liberal and potential agnostic for years now. Read more about how I survive military life as a liberal here.

When you put yourself and your political ideas out there, many are quick to turn on you. On social media, liberals are prepped to be called a snowflake or worse. Memes abound showing just how weak or unpatriotic liberals, especially military-connected liberals, are perceived to be by conservatives. If you share your thoughts in person with a conservative friend, the same reactions happen. Just without the memes.

While finding supportive friends is possible, it might not always be probable. And even if you do find someone on the other side of the aisle who won’t outright bash your views, you will still disagree politically. It can be nice to find a group, online or in person, that shares your political values.

Liberal Leaning Military Spouses Can Turn To These 6 Facebook Groups For Community

Finding a group online can be a great way for liberal military spouses to connect virtually. These are spaces where liberals can share articles and opinions that reflect their way of political thinking. And it can happen without judgement or insulting memes.

If you’re looking for groups or pages that might offer support, check these out:

Bright Blue Dots: Bright Blue Dots encourages liberals to “blue up” no matter where they are located. This is not a military-exclusive community. Bright Blue Dots strongly advocates voting and voter registration.

Moms Against Hate: a collection of parents who are actively working to create a better future for our children. This is not a military (or Mom) exclusive group. Check out a march or rally where you live!

Indivisible Guide: this liberal group offers opportunities for local meet-ups and events around the nation. Local chapters help with voter registration and community building opportunities. Go to a local event near you! This group is not military exclusive.

Drinking Liberally: a national network with local chapters and interest based sub-groups. There are local groups located in the United States and around the world! This international group is not military exclusive.

Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America: a community dedicated to common sense gun reform. This group was founded after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary. Moms Demand Action is one of the largest groups of its kind in the United States.

Connect Online Or In Real Life?

It can be hard to connect in real life with liberal-leaning groups. Connecting in person can be even harder when you move every few years. That makes digital networks a great way to seek support.

It’s important to connect offline too. Use your virtual networks to join local communities! Attend a “live” event hosted by a virtual network. From marches and rallies to casual meet-ups, you can find a local group that suits your needs.

You might consider volunteering with a local or national campaign. Reach out to your local online networks for candidates near you. You could also search through the national Democratic party website. Unite America is a good starting point to find independent candidates and groups.

No matter what, it pays to follow politicians who share your views. Politicians often post videos, share information about town hall meetings and work to actively engage on social media. If you’ve got an urge to do more, reach out and offer to volunteer!

Most importantly, if there isn’t a group near you, start one. Liberal-leaning military spouses, you are not alone. Reach out and find each other.

If you’re a liberal-leaning military spouse, where have you found community and support?

The Blue Star Families annual Military Lifestyle Survey is considered a preeminent resource and snapshot of the current state of the military family. Thinkers, decision-makers, academics, politicians, and other leaders across various sectors look to the #BSFSurvey to help them better understand the trends within the military community.

The survey is valid and research-based; Blue Star Families collaborates closely with Syracuse University’s Institute for Veterans and Military Families from the first planning stages of the survey to the final touches. Because of this, the survey has been used in CEO’s boardrooms, on Capitol Hill, and even in the White House to drive policy and make decisions to better serve military families.

Send the link to your spouse. We know how these things go…and we know how military families are. If you’re able to have dinner with your spouse, it’s likely you’ll both forget about the survey just because you don’t have the link right there in front of you. If you’re not in the same ZIP code (or time zone) an email or message with the link goes a long way.

Share this article. The more military-affiliated folks who tell their stories in the #BSFSurvey, the better. And it’s open to all military-affiliate folks – active duty, National Guard and Reserve members of all branches and their spouses, veterans and retirees and their spouses, and military kids.

And don’t forget! We’re giving away five $100 gift cards in a drawing that’s open to those who have completed the survey. (Don’t worry; if you don’t have time to complete it, the application will save your place. You can finish it later.) Take the survey today.

Joanna Guldin-Noll is the Senior Produced Media Manager for Blue Star Families and spouse of a Navy veteran. She loves PBS, reading, cross-stitching, and is trying really hard to like running.

I have had to remind my neighbors of this just a little bit more often than usual today. With media coverage of Cambridge Analytica’s unethical data usage, Facebook’s cover-up, Instagram’s API shutting down, and the General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR) ramping up in the European Union, you cannot go too far right now without being reminded about data privacy.

The fact is that your data is being logged everywhere you go on the internet.

The more I discuss this issue with others, though, I am constantly shocked to find just how much misunderstanding there is in this subject.

Business Models

Social media platforms, like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, make money through ad placements. These platforms are dependent on ad revenue for their business model. They get paid an amount to display an ad to you. Their ad placers feel validated when you buy from their ad, so they continue to advertise on the platform.

Search engines, like Google, Bing and Yahoo, also make their money through ad placements. In 2017, Google’s ad revenue amounted to almost $95.4 billion. The bulk of this ad revenue comes from Google AdWords, most known for the placement of ads above the results of your search, but AdWords also includes the recommendation of products you see throughout the Google ecosystem – from Gmail to Android, from Google Maps to YouTube, and all the Google in between.

Because search engines know what you’re searching for – well, you told them when you searched for it! – they’re positioned especially well to provide you with targeted ads throughout the internet. While there are many targeted ad networks, Google’s AdSense is the most popular.

You know that feeling of being followed by whatever you searched for on the internet? Well, you can thank Google AdSense for that.

Not all of the internet is revenue-driven, though. Spotify, for example, lets you opt-out of ads by paying for premium. Many content producers, like myself as a blogger, don’t have ads on our site, but that means we make money through other forms of revenue such as consulting, books or online courses.

E-commerce websites on the internet, such as those start-ups trying to sell you wool shoes or the next fidget spinner, have an incentive to advertise to you. These companies have a target customer acquisition cost, and that is how much they are willing to spend, on average, to get you to buy their product. For them, it is more cost-effective to have an ad follow you around the internet than it is for them to have someone call you.

Your Personal Data

Nothing on the internet is free, so when you’re not paying for the website or the service with your dollars, you are paying for it with your personal data. In my opinion, paying with your data is much more expensive.

This data is varied, but a lot of it you gave to the platforms. For example, when you filled out your Facebook profile, you likely told it where you live, your relationship status, your age, your education and career backgrounds, and your religious. Every status update, every check-in, every tagged picture adds context to the picture you are painting for Facebook about you.

Preferences are what add the real depth to the data. For example, whether you use a browser or a mobile app to access search or social media, you are feeding companies information on your device. Use of iOS devices over Android devices is correlated with wealth. When you access whatever platform is collecting your data, it’s identifying what device you’re using and extrapolating more information based off that.

The more information it gathers, the more information you turn over, the more accurate a picture it can paint of you.

Changes You Can Make

I hope that I haven’t scared you. That certainly wasn’t my goal. Instead, I hope that by speaking in real-world applications, you understand exactly what is going on with the information you are sending through the internet. The good news is there are small changes that you can make TODAY to help make your data much more secure.

Change Your Search Tool

Most devices today come with Google as the default search engine. Instead, switch to Duck Duck Go. Taglined “The search engine that doesn’t track you,” Duck Duck Go doesn’t store your private information, doesn’t track you and doesn’t follow you around the web. Their revenue comes from a single ad in search listings related to the words you’ve searched for.

To really get the bulk of the impact, don’t just change this on your computer. Make Duck Duck Go the default browser on ALL of your and your family members’ devices.

Stop Using The Mobile Apps

For social media tools, such as Facebook and Instagram, try using the browser-based versions, even on mobile. When downloading mobile apps, you consent to all sorts of things, such as access to your location, microphone and camera, not always only when using the apps. The browser versions usually require more clear consent to gather your location, microphone and camera.

Change Your Passwords

I know that every time I’ve read something around passwords, my initial reaction has been to roll my eyes. Please don’t.

Real password control requires a two-step improvement. These changes don’t need to happen overnight, but together they will help you build a more secure online presence.

First, install and start using a password manager. I personally use 1Password, but well-known alternatives include Team Password and LastPass. Stop remembering your passwords and start storing them. In addition the brain space you’ll free up for yourself, you’ll feel less compelled to cycle 3 or 4 different passwords with an extra exclamation point or 1234 sequence. This will improve your new passwords going forward.

Second, as you log in to new platforms, change your passwords. If you’ve been using FIRSTBORNsecondchild1234 everywhere, it’s about time you cycle that into something more secure. As you login, slowly update your passwords to more secure options. You don’t need to remember them because in Step 1, we implemented a password management system.

This sounds like a lot but taken in small chunks it can be incredible useful. This will help secure your overall online presence. As a bonus, this will also help secure your financial information through more secure passwords.

Install Ghostery

Ghostery is a plugin for a web browser that allows you to block tracking on different web sites. Ghostery allows you to see what is tracking you on every page on the web, as well as block the trackers you’re not interested in. Installing it is as simple as installing any other plugin.

Ghostery has a mobile browser option that can be installed on Android and iOS devices.

When something is free, you are the product.

When signing up for a new app or account on a website, ask yourself “What is the underlying business model here?” If the answer is anything that makes you uncomfortable, you should reconsider signing up for that app or account.

I don’t plan on deleting my Facebook account anytime soon. With over a decade on Facebook, I have a decade of connections and pictures that I am grateful for. I am, though, conscious of what information I put out there. I never access Facebook on mobile and only use it in an incognito browser. Firefox has recently rolled out a Facebook container that limits Facebook’s access to information you do on other parts of the web. I haven’t tried it but it looks promising!

The fact is that the internet is still young. There are many issues that will appear as this industry matures. Nonetheless, the onus is on you as an individual to protect your data. This is incredibly more true as military families.

Emilie is the brains, the brawn, and the beauty behind She Does Better, inspiring millennial women to live financially, physically, and professionally fit lives. She writes about overcoming debt, while balancing trying to eat healthy, stay fit, and have a little fun along the way. She is a politics major turned data engineer who graduated from Princeton University in 2015. She lives in Georgia with her college sweetheart. She enjoys eating food, reading memoirs, cuddling with her dog, and binge watching HGTV.

Personally, the military spouse label has never hindered my job search. In fact, it’s helped it, which I know is an uncommon experience related to military spouse employment.

My biggest challenges have always come after I’ve signed the contracts, hung my coffee cup in the breakroom and attended my first staff meeting.

Military Spouse Employment: What About After You’re Hired?

Vacation Days

I’m not sure about you, but I always seem to come into a new job already asking for time off. Pre-deployment leave, family events, vacations and such are already on the calendar and so I’ve either gone “into the hole” or taken leave without pay.

Add to that, I’m also a drilling Reservist and often come into new positions with drill weekends or my 2 weeks of annual training scheduled. And while legally, they can’t keep me from asking off for those commitments, I’ve never been able to accrue enough leave to take a paid vacation or sick day. While this isn’t a challenge unique to the military community, we do often come with significant scheduling hurdles like deployments, time at sea or in the field, sick children, etc.

Not having to wait 6 months or an entire year to earn those benefits, when you may only be in the job for 12 to 18 months, would increase family-work life balance, as well as make for a much happier employee.

Retirement Benefits

Our service members earn an incredible retirement that most Americans dream about. The new Blended Retirement System has even afforded service members the opportunity to take advantage of a good retirement without having to serve the full 20 years.

But in the civilian world, you typically need to work somewhere for a long period of time to fully reap the benefits of the company’s retirement option, if they even offer it at all.

However, our transient lifestyle and lengthy resume can create a need to set-up retirement accounts outside of our employer or manage a smattering of smaller accounts sprinkled around the country. Not ideal for a financially stable retirement.

With the rising costs of living, a dual-retirement income is almost necessary to ensure you maintain a comfortable lifestyle or else you may wind up working until you’re 70 years old. And nobody wants to do that.

Family Time

In our Navy family, my husband rolls every few years from sea duty to shore duty. We’ve recently finished a pretty challenging 3 years of sea duty that included 2 full deployments and lots of time at sea in between birthing 2 babies and moving twice. Bottom line: he was gone a lot and life was stressful.

Now that we’re on shore duty, we’re focusing on family time and I’m making a conscious decision to not work outside the home, which allows us to have the flexibility to go, do and see all the things in our new duty station.

When I began to interview for positions, I didn’t find too many employers that were willing to allow me the flexibility and support I know I need to ensure that our family is our top priority right now. Yes, it’s a choice I made. However, balancing the demands of a new job while also trying to put family first is a challenge that most civilian families don’t have to endure quite like we do.

This small window of time in our lives doesn’t come often and so we’re trying to soak up as much family time as we can before we return to the constant stream of watching the ship pull away from the pier.

Having an employer understand the importance of family time in our crazy lifestyle is not very common and only adds to the stress of a dual-working military family.

While only good things can come of more legislation in favor of hiring military spouses, there’s still so much work to be done. And while organizations and politicians can fight to get us the jobs that are equivalent to our education and experience, there’s so much more to the entire concept of “military spouse employment.”

So let’s expand the conversation and start talking about not just finding jobs, but finding and creating jobs that work with our military lifestyle.

Alison is a busy mom, Navy wife and Naval Reserve officer. She is passionate about supporting other military families and raising awareness of the unique challenges associated with military life. You can usually find her planning her family’s next big adventure or binge-watching Netflix with a glass of wine.

Ask a military spouse to list the top 3 distinct challenges faced in their military life and you can bet most of them are going to say PCSing. The constant relocation can do a serious number on a family’s ability to thrive.

This makes PCS news from the Pentagon eyebrow-raising: they’re considering limiting the amount of moves that a military family has to make.

In an interview with the Fayetteville Observer, the Undersecretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness John Wilkie said that while “nothing is set in stone” (Is it ever?) it is “more than idle chatter.”

The idea is that large military installations, like Fort Bragg and Naval Station Norfolk, have the capacity to support military families for extended tours that stretch beyond the typical 2 or 3 years. Extended tours would ultimately allow troops and their families to enjoy fewer relocations and the associated challenges of those moves.

Today’s Military Family Is Changing The Department Of Defense’s Systems

At the core of the shift lies the military family. In Wilkie’s overview of why the challenge is being taken seriously, he returned repeatedly to the modern military family.

According to him, “It (the PCS system) was built at a time when less than 10 percent of the military had families. Today, 70 percent have families.”

So there’s that; there’s the fact that the family unit is a foundational part of the military like it has never before been in American history, and that families oftentimes suffer because of the manner in which the PCS system operates. Not only that, but we’re operating within a volunteer service model, which means that at this point the government has to acknowledge that if needs aren’t met, their volunteers will dry up.

Drew Brooks, the military editor for the Fayetteville Observer, wrote

“While many in the Pentagon are focused on big dollar programs that lead to new ships and planes, Wilkie said the readiness of the military is one of the issues that keeps him up at night. He said new planes are worthless if there are no people to maintain or fly them.”

At the very least, it’s refreshing to hear someone recognize that the driving force behind successful or unsuccessful military operations are its people.

The Potential Benefits Of Fewer PCSes

In terms of personal health, there are a plethora of positives. Most of us have felt at least a tinge of relocation depression as we’ve unpacked yet another round of boxes. Most of us know what it is to compare a new duty station with the well-loved one we’ve left behind. And more than that, we know what it is to have readjust relationally.

Professional Health: A few years ago a study came out that showcased the fact that a whopping 90% of military spouses are either underemployed or unemployed. Beyond the implications of that on a personal level, it’s been estimated the economy also misses out on nearly one billion dollars a year because of the trend.

There’s not a lot of upward mobility on the career ladder when frequent moves require you to constantly start over.

There are certainly employers who want to utilize military spouses. But, there are also those in military communities who recognize the trail of locations on a resume for what they are and become less likely to hire knowing that that individual is unlikely a long-term investment.

Psychological Health: The PCS system can negatively impact the emotional and relational well-being of service members and their dependants in a vast amount of ways. It’s an overwhelming subject to tackle. In an overview of social work in conjunction with service members, the University of Nevada, Reno found that, “3.8 million veterans live with a service-connected disability.” For those 3.8 million who struggle with everything from PTSD to anxiety and depression, and for those still serving, by default they must consistently re-start with caregivers.

And, of course, beyond the service member, dependents suffer emotionally as well. While the research isn’t conclusive, there is some that points to the fact that military kids struggle to cope. When Healthline looked at a study that compared military kids with non-military kids, the military kids had “a higher prevalence of substance use, violence, harassment, and weapon-carrying than their nonmilitary peers.”

And a suspected core issue, up there with frequent deployments, is the reality of frequent relocations for kids who are typically less equipped than adults to cope with the upheaval of frequent moves.

It’s not difficult to see how fewer moves could potentially make things, even a smidgen easier for both the service member and the family that supports him or her.

Fewer Relocations Is Not A Brand New Proposition

There have been times when different government entities have suggested the same type of shift. Ultimately, while nothing substantial has shifted, it is still worthwhile to note that the problems military families see with the system are also seen among the very highest levels.

In 2012, the Army went public with its efforts to limit PCSes. In an attempt to strategize for the increased stability and health of troops they came to an unsurprising conclusion: one of the most straightforward ways in which to secure a force that would be more consistent and effective was to make sure that those troops remained in one local for at least 36 months.

The Cost Of Frequent PCSes

“Every year, the U.S. military moves hundreds of thousands of service members and their families all across the globe. In 2014, the Defense Department spent more than $4.3 billion on moving costs, but officials don’t know where all that money is going.”

This statement, depending on how long you’ve been a part of the military lifestyle, may or may not surprise you. The hope would be that in a world where the paychecks of those who serve at the most nitty-gritty level are threatened whenever there’s a budgetary issue, the money would be streamlined.

However, that’s not the case. When Brenda Farrell interviewed officials for a report she authored for the Government Accountability Office she ran into an interesting something: “When we asked the DOD officials during our review ‘When was the last time an evaluation was made of the PCS program,’ none of them could recall such an evaluation being done.”

For those among us who may be skeptical that the family health angle will really inspire change, there is perhaps a greater degree of hope when considering that the government knows that there is a financial incentive to move military families less often.

The Drawbacks Of Fewer Moves

Obviously, this would not fix any and all duty station grief. In fact, in some cases it would likely only make some struggles worse. The reality is that while we can all call to mind duty stations that we loved and hated leaving, and friends we still miss, we can all also remember those wherein the goodbyes couldn’t come quickly enough, and we really never looked back.

Because at the core of the issue stands the truth that moving frequently as a way of life is hard and to some degree that can’t be fixed. There will always just be places and people who fit into our lives easier than others.

However, it’s also true that if the Pentagon does decide to implement longer tours, for some of us, one of those sets of orders may come just when our family needs it most.

By day Chloe Moore writes content for an internet marketing company, and by night she freelances. She’s a parent and a Navy spouse who enjoys rereading “East of Eden” and rewatching “The Office” when the stars align and she has the time.

I’m going to be honest. When military orders dropped for South Korea, I was a little disappointed.

My spouse did an unaccompanied tour here already and I had been to South Korea when I was younger. I had a “been there done that” moment when we found out we were moving to South Korea.

Once the initial shock wore off, I realized that being in South Korea would open up several doors for new adventures with my husband.

One of the most important thoughts that came to my mind was the 2018 Winter Olympics.

Even before setting foot in country, I was determined to make it to PyeongChang!

When we rang in the New Year, I started getting the ball rolling for our trip. It was quite easy to get tickets online and find a local place to stay. There were several pensions (almost like a bed and breakfast) available the weekend we wanted to visit. I was getting so excited and nervous about the Olympics. It was becoming more and more real!

My Experience At The 2018 Winter Olympics

With tickets in hand, my spouse and I drove to PyeongChang. It took us about 3 hours to get into town and we reached our pension before our first game, the 7.5km Women’s Biathlon Sprint.

I knew it was going to be COLD. But, I don’t think anyone could have prepared us for how cold. I wore many, many layers and I was still freezing.

My spouse, who is from Boston, kept seeking shelter throughout the event, while the folks from Scandinavia kept at it.

Despite how painful it was to be outside, we were determined to make it until the end of he event. Here we were watching these amazing athletes killing it on the course, doing something that I can never fathom doing, the least I could do was rally to cheer them on.

Team USA wasn’t the favorite to win in the biathlon, but that didn’t matter to me. The best part of our first game experience was being among the international community. I was so humbled to have the opportunity to come together with other fans to celebrate sportsmanship. Everyone was in such good spirits. We met fans from France, Canada, Finland, Russia, Switzerland, Sweden and more! Germany won the gold and we came across a huge troupe of Germans that supported their athlete.

Our day two at the Olympics was what I was most looking forward to…figure skating!

I purposely picked a weekend that included figure skating because that was priority one for me. Figure skating is my favorite Winter Olympic event.

What spectators don’t realize is that all the games are spread out from each other. Snowboarding, all the rest of the snow games, and the ice games are about an hour from each other. We had to drive about an hour to make it to the “coastal cluster” for figure skating, but the traffic was light and easy. I was getting pumped!

We saw ice dancing, the ladies’ short program and the pairs’ short program. I was yet again impressed with how easy the skaters made their axles and toe loops. Of course, when there was the occasional fall, the audience’s gasp echoed the stadium, but was quickly followed by applause for their effort.

When we were watching the figure skaters, it almost seemed like an out of body experience because I’ve watched it so much on TV. It was almost like I was sitting in my living room, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t believe I was sitting as a spectator for the performances.

Also, I have to mention that I completely geeked out when I saw Johnny Weir!

We ironically sat in the next section over from NBC’s booth and bordering the press area – if only I could have heard what they were saying!

All in all, it was surprising how the Olympics felt like being at a theme park. A theme park that included people from around the world.

I’m so happy we decided to bite the bullet and go at it on our own by driving there because we were able to travel around on our own time. Attending the Winter Olympics was so much easier than we expected.

Never in my dreams did I think I would make it to see the Olympics.

But, for us, everyday Americans, it doesn’t happen. Because the military sent us to South Korea, it gave us the opportunity to make a dream a reality. Now, we can say we’ve been to the Olympics and as a pleasant surprise, the military made that happen for us.

The countdown to the 2020 Summer Olympics at Tokyo is on! So, for anyone that gets PCS orders to Japan in the near future, you have something to look forward to!

Rachel Tringali Marston is an Army spouse and daughter of an Air Force retiree. Before getting married, she lived in New York City for almost 10 years and worked as a publicist. Currently, Rachel is the president and owner of Wanderlust Public Relations and works as a freelance communication professional taking her career where ever the Army sends her. Rachel enjoys learning and exploring the area around her husband’s duty station and is embracing life in the military. In her spare time, she shares her adventures on her personal blog called Wandering Rae of Sunshine.

Or you started your own business and you can’t find a way to operate on post.

Or…insert one of a million other scenarios that military spouses continue to endure in the great plight of finding (and keeping) a job.

For me, the scenario was moving to Guam. I had a great job in Washington, D.C., and I (very wrongly) assumed I’d have no problem finding a job. When we got to island, I sent resume after resume after resume (after resume!), and I didn’t hear a thing. I finally found a position that actually aligned to my experience and was ecstatic to apply. I heard back from the hiring manager the next day and we excitedly discussed my knowledge, skills and abilities. We both knew I was the most qualified candidate that would apply; I’d done nearly the exact same job they were hiring for on the national level in D.C.

Then the hiring manager asked The Question.

“What brought you to Guam?”

I didn’t hesitate in telling him – I was proud of my husband’s service. I also didn’t think it would result in my interviewer responding, “Oh. We’ll let you know,” only to never hear from him again.

We all have (or know someone who has) had a similar experience. Fortunately for us, someone is listening:

Last week, I had the opportunity to tell my story (along with three of my co-advisors on the Military Family Advisory Network) at Senator Kaine’s announcement of his intention to introduce the bill.

At the event, Kaine talked about the national unemployment rate and how it compares to that of military spouses. Spoiler alert: Ours is much, much higher, and Kaine is committed to fighting that. Fortunately for us, he understands the struggles and complexities of military families firsthand; his oldest son is a married, active duty Marine.

While there are several facets to this legislation, and many involve commissioning studies in order to have more data points, there are 4 main foci of the bill:

Military Spouse Employment Act of 2018

Employment Opportunities

This aims to bolster military spouses’ competitiveness in the job market by modifying federal hiring authority so that federal agencies can expedite the hiring of a candidate who is a military spouse. Additionally, it requires DoD to come up with a plan to increase the participation of military spouse friendly businesses in defense contracts. Last but not least, it encourages DoD to submit a plan on how to best facilitate military spouse entrepreneurship on installations…as in, how do you get a contract for one of those little kiosks outside the PX/NEX/BX? And how do we ensure you can actually earn a livelihood from said kiosk instead of paying an unreasonable amount for rent?

Continuing Education and Training

This pillar instructs DoD to evaluate how to expand and increase awareness of existing programs to military spouses, specifically the Military Spouse Career Advancement Account (MyCAA). MyCAA provides an incredible opportunity to receive a non-competitive scholarship of up to $4,000 to pursue associate degrees, certificates, professional licenses and even the costs of recertifying credentials.

Child Care

Child care is very near and dear to my heart as I was supposed to start a job 2 weeks after moving to our new duty station, only to find out it was almost a yearlong waiting list. Living far from family and not knowing a soul, too often, we have to choose between affordable, reliable child care or working.

This part of the bill instructs the DoD to examine ways to increase the number of cleared child care providers while ensuring DoD adheres to child care safety rules. So, another study, but I’m remaining cautiously optimistic that some headway will be made as they look at finding more options for child care.

Counseling and Transition Assistance

This part of the bill allows transitioning service members and their spouses an additional six months of access to Military One Source (currently limited to only six months after transition). This might not sound like a big deal, but every spouse I’ve talked to says that the six-month mark is right about the time the honeymoon of retirement sets in and the “needing resources” phase begins. An extension will be so useful for families. Additionally, this provision allows military spouses to attend Transition Assistance Programs (TAP) with their service members, allowing for smoother transitions to civilian life for the whole family.

Kaine hopes the Military Spouse Employment Act of 2018 will be attached to the 2018 National Defense Authorization Act, with bipartisan support.

“It’s a military readiness issue,” Kaine said. “And of course all want to help our military spouses advance.”

T.T. Robinson is a Navy wife, mommy and political correspondent for NextGen MilSpouse. She also currently writes the Deployment Diary for Motherlode, the New York Times parenting blog, and is a regular contributor for SpouseBuzz. Follow her on Twitter, find her on Facebook or visit her website, www.ttrobinsonwrites.com.

You’re sitting in a hospital room, with a newborn baby and your 7-year-old baby. You are in a foreign country, your husband is at work and you have no family nearby. The doctor tells you that your child needs an MRI of her brain immediately.

Tears roll down your face.

You have no one to talk to.

You feel alone.

To some, this is what nightmares are made of. But for me, it was reality and it was only beginning.

This all started when she passed out while getting ready for school one morning. For several days, my daughter went through 2 different MRIs. Tons of blood work. EEGs twice a day. Every medical test you could think of, she had it done.

When one of the MRIs showed abnormalities with her brain, but no obvious cause, the doctors went with the next step of genetic testing. Waiting for 12 weeks for those results was the longest 12 weeks of our lives.

Little did we know, that this was far from over when it came to getting the medical care she needed. We decided we should come back to the States on a compassionate reassignment, to make sure our daughter was taken care of medically.

Most days, I feel like it was the worst decision we ever made. Other days, I try to tell myself it was a blessing in disguise because my husband was able to reclass to a new MOS that he loves and makes him happy.

Fast forward to now, 5 years later.

She was diagnosed with scoliosis and will need hip reconstruction surgery. Last year, she had to have knee reconstruction, due to her knee cap frequently dislocating. MCAP causes extremely flexible joints, so this came as no surprise to the orthopedic surgeon. Just recently, I had to walk through fire to get her another referral for more orthopedic consults.

When her pediatrician at our current military treatment facility saw her X-rays, he told us there was no need for a referral and that we only needed to follow up once a year. WRONG.

As mothers, we know when something isn’t right.

No, I did not go to medical school. But I am a mother with a gut feeling that is never wrong. I fought for days to get the referral to the orthopedic clinic.

When we finally got in after waiting for 3 weeks, they were amazed that the pediatrician did not take her X-rays more seriously. One of her hips sits much lower than the other and the orthopedic physician said that is a major concern, which may require hip reconstruction. They ordered more X-rays and asked us to get a follow-up appointment. The next available was 3 weeks later.

The waiting is agonizing.

I fought to get her the referral. We waited for an hour in the waiting room to be called back, before being informed her doctor was stuck in surgery so we could either reschedule or see someone who isn’t her doctor. We opted to see someone who wasn’t her doctor, so we could get some answers. Now we are waiting again, to hopefully see her usual orthopedic doctor.

It’s true what they say – military life is nothing but hurry up and wait.

Waiting on referrals.

Waiting for over an hour in the waiting room before you are finally called back.

Waiting to hear test results, only to never be called back or completely ignored.

Waiting to know if your child will go through another traumatic event, such as a reconstruction surgery. The pain. The tears.

The awful feeling that you feel like it’s your fault. Did I take the wrong prenatal vitamins when I was pregnant that caused this? Did I have too much stress during my pregnancy and it caused MCAP to develop? Was it my genes that caused her to have to go through this?

The constant fear of feeling like it’s my fault and the guilt are soul-crushing.

For the record, I was assured by the genetic doctor that this was just a random mutation of genes, that had nothing to do with me. But, it’s hard to accept that at times.

When you add all of these things together, it’s hard to get through the days sometimes without feeling like you can never do anything right.

I try to make sure she always has access to the care she needs, but it feels impossible sometimes. Some doctors seem to blow us off at times.

EFMP is supposed to be a system that ensures you will have the care you need at every duty station you are assigned to, but to some of us, it sure doesn’t feel like we have the care or even the compassion that our children or other EFMP family members need and deserve.

Our daughter’s disorder is so rare, that not many doctors at our MTF even know what it is. I remember an appointment with a doctor who had never seen her before. I took her in for something routine and when I was asked about her previous medical history, I explained to them she has MCAP. They looked at me like I had 2 heads.

It’s just as frustrating having to explain every time we see someone new at our MTF what she has, what causes it, what the symptoms are, etc, as it is also frustrating waiting on referrals.

Three weeks for a wait here and there may not seem like much to some or even most people. But it’s an eternity when you’re in our shoes and going through what we have to go through.

Doctors who don’t listen.

Doctors who KNOW your child has a certain medical disorder like MCAP, yet they either know very little about it and refuse to learn more, or they refuse to listen to your concerns, simply because you are not the doctor, therefore, you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about.

I’m not writing this to gain sympathy. I’m writing this so people know that the system is truly broken.

We hear this time and time again, from other family members who have to walk through fire to get what they need.

As a mother, there is nothing worse than seeing your child struggle. As a mother, it is my job to protect her and make sure she is provided with what she needs, which includes access to care.

I feel like I’m failing at every turn, because the system, and lack of care and compassion on the part of some physicians, won’t let me have an opinion. I know more about my daughter and her health needs after the whirlwind of the last 5 years, over a physician who has looked at her all of 30 seconds.

It seems to be a typical response of

“Oh, her knee and back are hurting? Just give her some Motrin.”

Things need to be changed.

Will they change? Most likely not, but we can still talk about what we have had to deal with to hopefully help another military family find comfort in knowing they are not alone.

Maybe someday, there will be more thought put into how to help our children and family members who have had more than their fair share of struggles with the military health system.

Motrin and hurry up and wait are not getting us where we need to be and our children and other special needs families deserve better.

Jana is a happy wife and mom. She has a wonderful husband, 2 great kids, a Great Dane, and 2 kitties. She is a stay at home mom who loves writing, reading, baking, and wine. She currently lives at Fort Gordon with her family, and is hoping the PCS Gods send them somewhere cold next!

When Hurricane Harvey hit Texas last week, it was forecast to be a long lasting storm, but it became more and more evident just how bad it was when it lingered in southeast Texas for days, dropping 50 inches of rain in some areas.

People from across the country started to come to assist the residents and our military community was right there with them.

Flood victims gather for food at a shelter in the George R. Brown Convention Center during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, August 28, 2017, in Houston, Texas. Photo credit: Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty Images

We’ve rounded up fundraisers happening right now to support the region as they continue to recover from the storm. If you’re looking for a way to donate, consider these fundraisers which are all giving back to various charities:

Military Spouses Rallying For Hurricane Harvey Relief

Humans on the Homefront is donating 100% of proceeds of sales from their embroidered hat through September 6 to Hurricane Harvey Relief efforts.

Jessica Lynn Cooks is donating 100% of her Pampered Chef commission to the Texas Diaper Bank with her fundraiser. Additionally, Pampered Chef is donating up to 30% of the fundraiser’s sales to Feeding America. You can order via her fundraiser.

If you know of other military spouses with fundraisers to help the Gulf Coast, please let us know, we’d love to add them to our list.

The special thing about military spouses is that, just like our service members, we hail from communities that reach across the entire United States of America (and even the world). We represent diverse races, religions and spoken languages. Our families practice different traditions, hold various perspectives and have lived unique experiences.

And as we travel across the nation with our service members we often get to see and live alongside more people and ways of life than the average person may encounter.

For many of us, these experiences strengthen or awaken a resolve to become a social justice ally or advocate in our communities.

So when tragedies or injustices strike we may feel like the crisis is “hitting close to home” even if we are thousands of miles away. We live all over the United States and world. We make friends that we may have never encountered, except through this military life. And at some point we come to realize that everyone does not have equal access to the freedoms and privileges our service members have committed to protect.

“When you have a basic level of empathy or sense of fairness it can be so disheartening to see people suffering and being unsure how you can help.”

Our physical communities and neighbors change countless times. But this doesn’t mean we can not find ways to work toward the ideas of liberty and equal protection under the law. In fact, no PCS has to be a barrier to advocating for the American ideas of justice and the “pursuit of happiness” for all.

No matter where you currently reside here are 4 ways you can be a social justice ally.

Use Your Money To Be A Social Justice Ally

When a family has lost a member in an act of brutality, intolerance or hate they are not afforded the opportunity to only grieve their loved one. More often than not there is also the immediate concern of burial costs and legal fees (to fight against the injustice). A quick Google search can lead you in the right direction to find GoFundMe pages or memorial accounts where you can provide monetary support.

Speak To Your Local Leaders As a Social Justice Ally

Contacting your elected officials to let them know your opinions can help pressure them into responding in a honorable fashion should tragedy strike your immediate community. Phone calls and emails are ways concerned citizens can make their leaders aware of their expectations.

Stand Up And Be A Social Justice Ally

When “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was repealed by President Obama social justice allies everywhere rejoiced. Its repeal was the result of people from all walks of life speaking out and advocating for a fair and inclusive Armed Forces. Change begins when we decide to BE the change we want to see in our own lives and world.

You don’t have to be a member of a group or community in order to recognize their humanity and (quite possibly) your privilege. Don’t allow disparaging remarks to occur in your presence. People should not feel comfortable discriminating or tearing down others in front of you.

“Speaking up and standing out in your personal life matters.”

Volunteer To Be A Social Justice Ally

Military spouses are known for our dedication to volunteerism. Working to support the needs of individuals near and far is a tangible way to make a difference for someone else. You can also use websites like Volunteer Match to find more opportunities to volunteer for organizations with a passion for justice and human rights. If there are no local efforts underway consider organizing your friends and family around a mission that promotes equity in society.

Every day affords us the opportunity to be better, kinder and more useful humans. We can reflect on our lives and the lived experiences of others around us. How are they similar or different? We can listen to people when they tell us their life stories. We can choose to affirm, believe and support them.

Being a social justice ally means you are actively working toward creating a “more perfect union.”

In what ways are you working to spread justice, equity and kindness in our world?