www.indrani.net - 2010-07 (Jul)http://www.indrani.net/monthly_archives/2010/201007_jul/feed
enBack to office reporthttp://www.indrani.net/2010/07/back_to_office_report
<p><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/indrani/4212552566/" title="IMG00036-20091211-0926 by Indrani Soemardjan, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4069/4212552566_f50e60ca9f_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="IMG00036-20091211-0926" /></a></center></p>
<p>The picture above is the toilet of my new office. I took the picture because I think the signage is unique. Where else in the world could you get a signage forbidding you to put your feet into the washbasin (which is quite a normal practice here, since people need to wash their feet for praying)</p>
<p>It has been over a year that I returned to full-time work after five years being a homemaker. Interesting to see that one of the last blog entry is <a href="http://www.indrani.net/node/344">about the transition from an office worker to full time mother</a>. And now I'm writing about the other way around, from a homemaker, into an office worker. As a disclaimer, both work and being a SAHM is equally demanding, equally hard work. I consider it as a different phase in life, and moving from one phase to the other is a major undertaking.</p>
<p><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/indrani/42514596/" title="20050902-12 by Indrani Soemardjan, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/31/42514596_89dfba1f44_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="20050902-12" /></a></center></p>
<p>The photo above marked the time when I decided to quit and became a homemaker, five years ago. I was saying goodbye to my colleagues. How time flies, and now, I had started a new chapter. In the process of adjusting to the new office setting I learned a few things. </p>
<p><b>Adjusting to office</b></p>
<p>I personally felt it was an easier transition for me going back to work from being a homemaker, than the other way around (stop working to be SAHM). It’s probably because I had worked in an office in the past, while being a mother is a totally new and shocking experience to me.</p>
<p>For five years, I was so used to doing things to my own rules, standards and timeline. And all of a sudden, a new, merciless, set of structure was imposed upon me. It’s quite an adjustment, but a network of supportive colleagues and, of course, my dear husband’s support, helped in the transition.</p>
<p>More interestingly, I realized that when I was a homemaker, I tended to avoid conflicts and maintain as little contact as possible with difficult people. Going back to work, this became unavoidable. Again, the support of trustworthy colleagues and people around me, has been imperative in keeping me sane.</p>
<p>Linked to the above, it’s best to spend time to map office situation and identify the factions in the office politics, to avoid falling into its trap and dragged down your productivity. Often time, office politics can be so immature and trivial, of course it is best to be avoided. But if it’s not possible, taking the time to observe and reflect the surroundings should be the best way to cope. Remembering that the world is much much larger than office environment, and that there are many other things that can be done outside office, really helped me to cope. I too, still need to learn a lot about this, and it’s not an easy skill to acquire. </p>
<p><b>What I miss out from being a SAHM</b></p>
<p>I felt, the kids have more difficulty adjusting to the new situation. Despite thorough preparation, the change has some impact to our kids, which did not immediately become apparent, but accumulated over the course of time. Imagine, mommy has been constantly around them in their young lives, and suddenly they only see mommy for 4-6 hours per day, sometimes less. Bear in mind, my first job has been of a quite long hours. One day, Noe’s pre-school principal called me and told me that Noe shared his anxiety that “Mommy comes home at night everyday”. It struck me like a bolt of lightning. At the end I moved on to my 2nd job which allowed me to work for normal hours, and hence gives me more time with the kids. </p>
<p>What do I miss after restarting office job? Before, the constant level of interaction with kids had allowed me to delve really deep into their thoughts and personalities. Right now, the connection is not as close as before, and I needed to be more patient and more efficient to maintain close connections with my kids. But I think it is important not to compensate the kids with material rewards just because I feel guilty about going back to work. I would rather spend the time to talk as much as possible with the kids, to nurture the connection that we have, and where possible, do activities together, while maintaining rules of the household with consistency. For me, right now the most valuable thing that could happen to me is if my kids could just talk about their daily lives without any restraint to me. </p>
<p>Spending weekend just us, the family, and doing daily activities without household staff (they’re off at night and weekends), really help to maintain the bond between us. Moreover, despite negative comments from a few people, we are still co-sleeping with the kids. The sight of our kids sleeping, when we wake up first thing in the morning, is the most beautiful sight that keeps us alive. </p>
http://www.indrani.net/2010/07/back_to_office_report#commentsuswoman2010-07 (Jul)Fri, 23 Jul 2010 02:21:28 +0000rani348 at http://www.indrani.netA Restarthttp://www.indrani.net/2010/07/a_restart
<p><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/indrani/4213173740/" title="20091225-075 by Indrani Soemardjan, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2587/4213173740_61964a776f_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="20091225-075" /></a></center><br />
<b>Guilty. Guilty as charged</b></p>
<p>This blog has been abandoned for one year.</p>
<!--break--><!--break--><p><b>Sad, sadness. </b></p>
<p>The last blog entry was done on 19 July 2009, the week that JW Marriott and Ritz Carlton was bombed, and my former boss’ life, Timothy Mackay, was taken away by the terrorist. I have been meaning to write about him too. And isn’t it sad, too, that my former colleague Benny Napoleon, 34 year old, passed away almost exactly one year after Pak Tim? Maybe it is timely to resurrect this blog again, but, why deaths have to mark the new beginning? I didn’t mean to be morbid, but it just so happen. The cycle of life starts again, also, for this blog again.</p>
<p>Setting aside the sad note now. ..</p>
<p><b>Busy, yes we have been busy. </b></p>
<p>Excuse us, we’re sorry. Somehow, writing has fallen far behind in our list of priorities. Indi really enjoys his new job, which he assumed since March last year. He has been posted in places far away from Jakarta and officially becomes a weekend husband. As for me, I started to work full time again, since May last year. Kids started schooling and spends afternoons in daycare close to home. It has been quite an adjustment to our lives. Now the dust has settled, more or less, perhaps we could try to write again? Maybe. But no promises. My little green writing-aide fairy seems to have flown away.. </p>
<p>The thing with Jakarta, and Indonesia, is that we are blessed with proximity to family and friends. When not working, we are spending time with our families or friends. You see, previously we set up this blog to update our family and friends with our news from Singapore. Now, that we’re back in Jakarta, updating family and best friends are done over coffee, dinner, or nongkrong. And of course, the appeal of facebook and twitter has drawn us to present quick updates there, instead of spending a few hours writing articles for blogs. So, why are we resurrecting this blog again? Well, the blog used to be a close part of our life in Singapore, it’s just a shame to kill it. So… just because.</p>
<p><b>New Chapter, New Friends</b></p>
<p>For myself, starting to work full time is a new chapter of my life after five years being a full-time homemaker. In the course of adjustment, I get to know new friends who are exciting and admirable, and new best friends, such as L &amp; D, who are so wonderful and precious that I hope the sisterhood would last forever. I only got to know L &amp; D in the last few months, but enough for me to thank them for being friends who are trustworthy, non-judgmental, open-minded and sincere. Me, L &amp; D shared the similarity of being a juggling-working mother of two boys under 7 and from the same horoscope group – The Fire. The difference is that I met L in my first job and D in my second job. </p>
<p>L was in the same team as me in my first job, where we both tasked to do the impossible job of executing an international event in a timeframe of less than four month. At first, she was skeptical that she could work with me, partly due to internal office politics. But then we realized that we both fell into the same trap of challenge that no matter what, we needed to get the project done. In the course of the project, our similarities in life and complementarities created connections that translate into a sisterhood. As it was my first job after a long hiatus, I was very much clueless, but L is the one who untiringly reintroduced me to the nuts and bolt of getting things done in a corporate setting, showing me ways of being street smart and how to get things done. Not only that, she would also go an extra mile to execute things well and spent time to help me getting organized. In this day and age where people prefer to save their own asses in the mercy of other people’s failure, L is a rare breed. We spent long hours in the office together. She is known in the office as Madam L for her uncanny ability in giving unsolicited tips on love life and sex, but deeper than that, she is a loving mother and devoted wife. </p>
<p>When the impossible job was completed (quite successfully I hope), I moved on to my next job where I met D. Joining a mammoth institution with an established working environment, was not easy for two freshmen like us. Starting out by the urge to avoid the pressure of conformity, we established a trusting friendship with a few other friends. With D it evolved into sisterhood since we found out that our lives are so untypical compared to the mainstream, that we easily understand each other. As I got to know her, D does not cease to amaze me, and I consider her as a role model. While she’s witty and cheerful, she is certainly one of the toughest women I know, having gone through a lot in life that I cannot imagine myself going through. And because of that, I know that she could achieve anything she wants. While she is sensitive to the surroundings and continues to selflessly help others, but she’s also able to always look at things at the bright side with positive attitude and eagerness to learn new things, to improve herself and her environment. She taught me a lot through what she’s done and just being herself. She taught me on the importance of being grateful and the great value of family. </p>
<p>It has been more than just collegiality. Sisterhood, we just met, but I can’t stop thanking you. Hope the bond lasts.</p>
http://www.indrani.net/2010/07/a_restart#commentsbusiness2010-07 (Jul)Fri, 23 Jul 2010 02:10:03 +0000rani347 at http://www.indrani.net