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There’s a super popular song out there from a movie that surprisingly is being played on every radio station, from soft rock/pop to R&B, maybe you’ve heard of it, Let It Go from the animated film Frozen. All of my kids (even the 16 year old boy) know all of the words, we bought the movie and I believe we’ve all watched it at least 5 times (we’ve owned it for two days). Even I now, know all the words to all the songs. So what makes this particular tune so popular? Is it the catchy tune or the lyrics? For me, the more I listen to the actual lyrics, the more brilliant I think they are because we can all relate.Don’t let them in, don’t let them see, Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know. Well, now they know…
This is me, people pleaser, smile on my face, conceal, don’t let them know. It’s that facade I always talk about. It’s so much easier to smile and say everything’s fine than to put yourself out there. There’s also that element of fear that maybe the real you is not good enough, or interesting enough. The last line, ‘well now they know’, that’s me now. Post cancer the facade is tiring and frankly if you don’t like the real me there are plenty of other people in this world to hang with. Personally, I fall in love (I’m not talking romantic love) with people who show me who they really are, who show me a piece of their soul and brokenness, because we all have some brokenness in us.Let it go, let it go, Can’t hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go, Turn away and slam the door. I don’t care, What they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on,The cold never bothered me anyway.
Yes, the storm of life rages on constantly. People talk, people judge, I’m letting it go, turning away from fear and slamming the door. This past week I had a bout of paralyzing fear about a situation I’m currently in. With prayer and a few deep breaths I had to let it go because God is in control. Fear gives power to the thing or person that you are fearful of and I refuse to give any more power to that. It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small, And the fears that once controlled me, Can’t get to me at all…Amen!It’s time to see what I can do,To test the limits and break through. Let it go, let it go, And I’ll rise like the break of dawn. Let it go, let it go, That perfect girl is gone
How empowering to not have to be or try to be that perfect girl. It is time to see what I can do and test those limits. For me at exactly this time, I am letting go of who I tried to be or was told to be for other people and rediscovering my dreams and who I am, old and new. Letting go is really realizing that certain things are part of the past but not part of your destination. I’m thankful for every single moment because those moments, people, events are what shaped me and who I am today; strong, courageous, and hopeful. The song is brilliant.

Today I’m wearing Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Wild Watermelon. You all should know by now I’m obsessed with these because they are so moisturizing and have great color. My fall/winter go to shade is Red Velvet but I now have this color. I LOVE IT! It’s perfect for spring/summer because it is that bright poppy orange/red but doesn’t make your lips scream ‘I’M HERE!!’ You can find these at any drugstore too and they are fairly inexpensive. Let it go! Until next time, CHEERS!

The other day I was in line at DSW (for those not familiar, it is a huge designer shoe warehouse). I was the only one in line standing behind the big sign that said ‘Form Line Here’. The sign stood about 5 feet away from the line of registers. As the customer in front of me was finishing up and I was getting ready to step forward, a man literally ran up from I don’t know where buying three pairs of shoes and stepped up to the cash register. The cashier started ringing him up thinking he was next in line. Hello? Did I look like a mannequin holding up the sign? The store wasn’t even that busy at the time and I was literally the ONLY ONE STANDING THERE with one pair of shoes! First, I wanted to yell at him and to physically push him out of the way. Second, I wanted to explain to him the rules of the game, how inconsiderate he was, and then tell him my story and everything I’ve been through to still be around to buy one pair of shoes. But no, I stood there and smiled awaiting my lost turn in line.

This got me thinking, I was using my cancer as an excuse for better treatment, a disability so to speak. I wanted him to know that sure, maybe he was in a hurry, but excuse me, I’ve had cancer. Isn’t that the most ridiculous thing? I don’t want cancer to define me; it is simply a part of my story. When most people look at me they don’t even know. I want to be the person that I am today because of what the cancer has taught me; stronger, bolder, more understanding of people because of their story. Maybe he didn’t see the sign, maybe he’s from out of town, maybe it was his first trip to DSW and didn’t know the ‘line rules’. Whatever it was, I was not in a hurry so waiting 5 extra minutes didn’t really matter to me. Despite being discouraged, I was able to take a step back and wonder about him and wow, the story I made up in my mind about him made me laugh out loud.

Anyway, we all have insecurities, ‘disabilities’, things which happened in our past or words that were spoken to us that have made us who we are. Sometimes we like to use them as excuses, the ‘if you only knew what I’ve been through…’Well, it’s time to get your MOJO back. Don’t allow those things to define you. Every day is a new day and a new chance to be the difference.

Today I wear I wear Revlon Coffee Bean lipstick which is a beautiful medium brown with a tiny bit of pink undertone. It also has a little bit of shimmer. I chose this color because of the name. Coffee to give yourself a jolt of life, no excuses!

A few days ago I met a beautiful woman, Michele, who happens to be a jewelry artisan. She creates beautiful and unique pieces using natural stone, silver, and buttons! She is a true artist that puts a lot of love into her pieces. We actually met through Facebook where she posted some of her pieces on a wall of a friend of mine (gotta love technology). Anyhow, through her research she discovered the ancient relationship between the healing properties of Lapis and thyroid cancer and she created an incredible choker for me (pictured above). It fit perfectly, laid exactly over my scar, and she added a songbird atop a heart with wings because she knew I was a singer. It was an incredible gift which left me speechless, emotional, and most of all grateful. Michele is a new friend I have met because of cancer.

I have friends who have known me before cancer and now, I have friends who only know me because of the cancer. I wonder if I am different to these two sets of friends. I know that I am not the same person I used to be. It is my ‘new normal’. I see things differently, I feel things differently, and there are things I’m less tolerant of because life is too short. I wonder if my old friends can see that because that is the only person my new friends have known. We are all continuously changing into the people God created us to be, but cancer and mortality have opened my eyes a little sooner. Everyone is unique and is molded by their history. It’s so fun listening to their stories and as I sat with Michele and listened to her story and how cancer has affected her life I knew that this was no ‘chance’ meeting. I love all of my friends and I am so thankful that God brought every single person into my life at exactly the right time.

Today’s lipstick is Iced Amethyst by Revlon! It’s kind of a purply-silver. Don’t let the color scare you because it actually goes on soft. It highlights a natural plum lip color (like mine) and adds a little sheen. Like my friends, old and new, they highlight my life and are just ‘icing on the cake’!