To Be the Best ME I Can Be

Archive for June, 2010

I haven’t posted in forever and I can’t imagine that anyone is still reading this…but I’m going to start writing again for me, which is the original reason I started the blog to begin with. I’ve got to get back on track, and this blog has always been a major tool in staying accountable and focused.

The big move is over with. We’re still settling in and probably will be for months, but we’re here and most of the critical things are unpacked. The house is starting to look like a home; we’ve got all the kids’ pictures up and that’s a benchmark for homeyness, I think. The major stresses of the four-month separation and the cross-country move are over with, and now reality begins to set in. This is our new life, this is our new home, and we have to make it what we want it to be.

I’ve always believed that you should begin as you mean to go on, so that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m dealing with some emotional stuff that I won’t go into because that’s not what this is for, but in a nutshell it boils down to missing people and being homesick. Nothing that anyone else in my position wouldn’t be dealing with; nothing that the rest of my family aren’t dealing with. I’ll deal with it. But at this point, I’ve been given a golden ticket to a chance to change myself and my life, so I need to grasp that. If I don’t, then I’ve done myself and my family a grave disservice and really cheated myself badly.

We’re living in a bona-fide subdivision this time around, something we haven’t done in about 15 years. It’s quiet, it’s well-laid-out, and above all, it’s flat. A more perfect opportunity for outdoor exercise could not exist in any form that would have meaning to me. So I’ve been taking it – we have taken after-dinner walks a couple of times, and I’ve been biking in the mornings. I haven’t yet this morning, and probably won’t because we’ve got some critical errands that need to be run early – so as soon as this post is done, I’m going to wake up the woman-child and the teenling (I like those terms better than ED and YD, and I think I’ll stick with them) and go do those things. But I am committing firmly to some significant form of exercise every single day…well, I will probably allow myself rest days when I feel that I need them, because I know how important that is, particularly when you have an autoimmune condition. But nearly every day, and every single day that I’m physically capable. Feeling a little tired or not being in the mood will not be acceptable excuses. Neither will being too busy – I really can’t claim that one any more. I’m not working right now, so if I could make time for exercise when I was working full-time and taking care of a home and family, I can damn sure do it now. I also have the WiiFit for indoor exercise, and I am planning to do yoga at least three times a week, and hopefully more.

I’m shaping up the nutrition aspect of our lives again, too. Things had gotten so crazy that I had let us lapse back into old, bad habits almost entirely. I’m eradicating that now, as I am again able to plan and shop and prepare with some sort of order and routine. I did make the mistake of bringing ice cream into the house, and I’ll have to watch that, as my very favorite ice cream/burger chain is in this area and that will be a temptation. [It’s funny, because I’m not normally an ice-cream junkie…but this place is off-the-charts amazing. It’s a local chain that produces and brings in all their products – meats, produce, dairy, everything – from their farms to their stores daily. As a result, they have the best cheeseburgers, fries and ice cream in the free world…] I am going to have to figure out a system of planned treats, so that I can enjoy that without being indulgent. I don’t plan to spend the rest of my life being strictly regimented, but I also don’t plan to spend it unhealthy and overweight.

So I have the exercise and food aspects…well, not quite in hand, maybe, but I’m getting there. That just leaves the mental aspect, and that’s the function of this blog. I don’t have a support network locally yet – that part has always been the hard part for me, bringing people into my life – and I know how much I need that reinforcement, so for the time being this will be my mental reinforcement. Whether anyone reads or not, it will be my way of keeping my head in the game, and reminding myself daily (I hope) how important this is to me. I have used the arthritis as an excuse to go easy on myself for a while now, and before that there were other excuses. Excuses don’t get the job done; they just make you old, tired and unhealthy, and that’s how I’ve been feeling. I think it’s past time to take my life, my body and my health back.