you may not be her first. her last or her only. she loved before. she may love again. but if she loves you now, what else matters? she's not perfect, but neither are you. and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can. she may not be thinking of about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break-her heart. so dont hurt her, dont change her, dont analyze her and dont expect more than she can give. smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she is not there

the massage dude said i have negative energy. i think he's right. its probably bc i do things i think are wrong. that doesnt mean they are wrong..but i feel like they are. and i do them anyway...i justify my actions to myself, but its still doesnt make them right..not in my head. i guess smoking is a good example. i like it, so i do it..but i usually tell myself im not going to cuz i think smoking is bad. i mean, ass long as you're getting your shit you done, then it doesnt matter what you do on your spare time, right?

do you justify your actions to yourself? i feel like almost everything i do has to be justified. instead of just doing/acting/living/being. i need to justify it. its really a bother. it makes me nervous and anxious. thats not what life is for!

on an even more random note:what do you think of when you're having sex?

lizz might leave again? i guess it doesnt really matter, i'll miss her but its not like i hang out with her too much. it kinda sucks though i'll be alone again. gabi's gonna be gone next semester too...it makes me sad. at least last time i wasnt alone cuz ween was with me. guess i'll find a new friend when the time comes....theres nohing else i can do, right?

good to know my entries aren't in vain :) but now my question is if u read entries why dont you post any? gosh. :-P

last night was funnn! went to a co-workers party n got drunk teehee :) then went to another co-workers house n smoked a bit. then i went to ween's n puked. oops! now i know why people are supposed to eat b4 drinking. i felt like such a light weight, wtf.

today the plan is to study and to watch true blood. that is all lol. im not gonna lie, i really wanna catch the disney channel line up but sadly, hw is more important :( i need my lab manual for micro!! uh oh!!!! i'll ask my rents for cash tonight cuz even tho i have 2 jobs and pay no bills, im broke. wtf. i think i should work on my saving skills.....im out of things to say so i guess i'll stop pracrastinating now and get back to the books....

im sitting in the living room listening to my mom talk. she says she wants to have an hacienda made for the family. that would be cool. seems a tad bit expensive tho. i dont have anything exciting to say...i just decided to update cuz i was scrolling down my friends page and there was only 2 people on the whole page. i decided to ad an entry to your friends page. hello person reading this.i dont think anyone does.i tend to block some of my entries cuz i dont want random people reading it...but i dont think anyone does anyway.do you?