This speaks exactly what I feel. It is so true. Now that difficult child is involved in the criminal justice system I hope he gets the help he wouldn't take from me for years, but as you know Janet, you can lead a horse....

' So, remember the anger. Hang onto the anger, because you will need that to overcome the desperation of the situation. You will need something to balance the heartache of dealing with your drug-addicted teenager. So, hang onto that anger and remember it when you need strength.

very interesting - in regular parenting anger can be negative as you look for quick fixes in desperation. I think it is that your are angry at the kid , not about the situation. I agree the situation has to bother one , upset one so it does not become a non-issue. Is only anger a source of addrenaline and could anger distort our thinking ?

sometimes we need anger Allan to help us stop being so sad. for me the anger says "you are not going to crush me, I am going to survive" it helps me think of other solutions and not be in so much pain. I rarely display the anger to ant. more often I give him a hug and tell him I wish his life was better and I hope that HE thinks of some solutions.