Silent Hill: Revelation

Probably a fair bit of money went into this.

A nightmarish hell-scape of twisted, groaning fake American accents awaits you in the film that people made and put money into called Silent Hill: Revelation. Answering all those dangling questions from the first Silent Hill (don’t worry, there’s plenty of recap!), this inevitable sequel finds dad Sean Bean and daughter Heather (Australian actress Adelaide Clemens) trying to evade a doomsday cult who want to kill her...or worship her. Look, that’s one of many things unclear in this plot. Including the distractingly cute Kit Harington (Game of Thrones) as Heather’s mysterious classmate. Eventually everyone winds up in Silent Hill, a town that’s sort of Saw meets Hellraiser and still somehow boring. Bondage, heavy rock and a sinister carnival are what the filmmakers seem to think provide scares. Which makes Silent Hill: Revolution the Gathering of the Juggalos of horror films.