As You Like ItSjef Frenken

Jack and I sat down for lunch at
our usual meeting place; he with his souvlaki, I
with my French Fries. Yeah, I know.

Jack said, "what were the last
words the girl said when she handed you your
fries?"

I said: "I don't recall.
Why?"

Jack said: "Ten to one she
said 'there you go.'

I said: "Jack, you may be right,
but I just don't recall. Why do you mention
it?"

Jack said: "It's the new
'goodbye', or 'have a good day'. Nowadays it's
'there you go.' It's all over the place. I
have no idea who starts these things, but they swamp
the language in a few months. It's like the
'like' thing that has taken over the vocabulary of
high school students."

I said: "that must be a legacy of
their father and mothers when THEY were hippies:
'Like Wow, man!'"

"Sure," said Jack, dismissively,'
but it's worse than that! Have you ever
listened to a conversation among teenagers?"

I said "I don't make it a habit,
but I will sometime soon, if you insist. Just
what am I supposed to be listening for?"

"The way 'I'm like' and 'He's
like' have taken over from 'I said' and 'He said'.
Who in hell ever came up with that kind of
linguistic monstrosity?"

"Jack," I said, "language is
never static. It changes, whether we like it
or not. It's a constant fight. Even the
dictionaries give up after a while. I remember
when the word was long-lyved as in a long-lyved
person, or a nine-lyved cat. Nowadays even
Webster's lists long-livved first. I guess the
best you can ever do is never surrender your own
grammar and vocabulary. To go down fighting."

"Yeah," said Jack, "but it is so
effing ignorant!"

I said: "Jack, I've cautioned you
before: don't let these things get to you. It
does you no good, and you can't change the world
from where you and I sit. What say we go and
have an ice cream cone at the Laura Secord."

Jack and I deposited out detritus
in the trashcans and sauntered over to the Laura
Secord. Jack ordered a French vanilla;
belatedly, I had second thoughts on account of the
fries.

As the woman who helped us,
handed Jack his cone and his change, she said "There
you go."

And there we went.

Sjef Frenken is a renaissance man: thinker, writer, translator and composer of much music. A main interest, he has many, is setting to music the poetry, written for children, during the Victorian and Edwardian eras. Nimble of mind, Sjef is a youthful retiree and a great-grandfather. Mostly he's a content man, which facilitates his relentless multi-media creativity.