Spices, lined up alphabetically, each jar equidistant from the cabinet’s edge. Each label reflecting the overhead kitchen light just so.

Sigh.

That right there is the sound of contentment as it passes through your lips.

Those ARE things of beauty; there is NO doubt.

As a matter of fact, I firmly believe you’d be hard-pressed to find a person who would willingly choose shirts dangling willy-nilly from hangers left askew or spices teetering devil-may-care out of overstuffed cupboards. Can you say midnight tripping hazards?!

A girl’s gotta be careful though. That beautiful imagery up there? It can be dangerous. See, it’s super easy to get caught up in the trappings of an outwardly organized life. Trappings that, instead of freeing you from the soul-crushing C.R.A.P. (chaos, resentment, anxiety, and panic) of everyday-ness, serve as just another prison in which we find ourselves locked. Just another failure we find ourselves guilty of.

Gorgeously patterned bins filled just shy of the brim.

Closets full of color-coordinated separates hanging, equally spaced, on matching hangers. Spices, lined up alphabetically, each jar equidistant from the cabinet’s edge. Each label reflecting the overhead kitchen light just so.

If you’re struggling with organization, some of that sounds pretty dang familiar, doesn’t it? For some people, I’m describing just a regular Tuesday night.

See, most of the time, people who struggle with disorganization are acutely aware of how that disorganization directly effects the environment in which and the people with whom they live.

They realize they fight with their spouse because the laundry is never done. They scream at their kids because their rooms look like they’ve been burglarized. They dump their purse in the middle of the garage because they can’t find their stupid keys and everyone is about to be late for the fourth time this week.

Something that, for the past few weeks, I’ve found myself repeating to multiple clients. Something that you probably already know, at least logically.

This whole process of getting organized?

It can make you feel like the biggest loser on the planet.

Like a complete and utter failure.

Worthless.

Defeated.

Pathetic.

It can make you think the absolute worst of yourself and beat yourself up for all the things you haven’t done or should’ve done or could’ve been doing all along for the past decade, so you didn’t end up in the mess you’re currently buried in.

It’s like you’ve got this evil troll who masquerades as the person you wish you were whispering in your ear. Whispering why you won’t ever be able to change. Whispering how you’re the only one who lives this way. Whispering so loudly about your undeniable failure that it blocks out all the other sounds in your life.

So when you find yourself in this situation, what’s a girl (or guy) supposed to do? Just surrender to it? Lie down and willingly drown in the mess?

I’m talking Bruce-Willis-circa-1988-kinda die hard. You can try to shove them off a building or pepper them with gunfire or push them down an elevator shaft. REPEATEDLY. And still? No dice.

Essentially, old habits are the cockroaches of our lives--ugly, stubborn, and kinda gag-inducing when you crunch one dead.

The thing is, it’s not a completely hopeless plight when it comes to ditching them. For good. What most people don’t realize is that it’s not as simple as just making a decision not to do them again and being done with. I mean, come on. Do you know how many times I’ve told myself I won’t bite my fingernails anymore? Do you know how many times I’ve cracked my front teeth (I’ve got some bad dental genetics, just FYI; no offense, Mom and Dad.) biting my nails after I’ve sworn to myself I’d never nibble again? It’s an embarrassingly high number of times.

Close your eyes and think about the messiest room in your home. The room that gives you the stress sweats like no other. The room that you’d rather roll around with fire ants than to admit exists in your home.

It’s all about timing, though, and I couldn’t go gettin’ you all excited about something that you weren’t ready for.

But now? Now you’re ready?

Step five in the whole Six Steps To Establishing Zero extravaganza wasall about evaluating the items you’d decided to keep and figuring out how best to store them in a way so staying organized was as easy as possible.

I’m about to introduce to you my two ABSOLUTE favorite organizing tools that will do exactly that- Store your items in a way that makes staying organized easier.

I use these tools in pretty much EVERY home in which I work so I’ve got quantifiable data to prove that they work. (I use them in my own home as well!) And besides, I’d never steer ya’ wrong!

(And do you think I’m legally bound to formally quote Matthew Mc Conaughey for those “alrights” up there? I mean, it HAS been his signature catchphrase. Just to be on the safe side, I borrowed your catch phase, Matthew McConaughey! Thank you!)

Those six steps can be broken down into two major chunks. The first three, which we talked about in the last blog, are pretty much straight up grunt work.

It’s a great concept, right? Describing your space in the same terms that you describe pain. Being able to quantify something that’s seemed so nebulous in the past. Pretty dang revolutionaryif I do say so myself!

And the ripple effect of the seven basic premises of Zero is HUGE.

1. YOU decide what Zero is for each space.

WHAT? Yep! You decide what organized looks like. Not your mom or your sister or your messy 16-year old son.

2. When your space is at Zero, you’re not stressed out by it.

Uh huh. I said it. The gut-wrenching angst your space used to induce? Gone.

Before we jump in with both feet and I give you the keys to the organizing kingdom, which, rest assured, I’m gonna do, we need to dispel a few other fallacies about what an organized life actually looks like.

See, if you don’t go into this whole organizing thing with your head on straight and your eyes wide open, you’re not gonna get the lasting results for which you’ve been pining.

There are seven main myths that I see on a regular basis about organizing. Seven misconceptions. Seven lies.

Bold. Face. Lies.

Yup, Satan is spreading his dirty little lies all over the organizing world. Lies meant to steal, kill, and destroy. Lies meant to undermine and demoralize. Lies meant to distract us from our real purpose in life.

Ephesians 4:25 tells us, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

We’re getting ready to put away some falsehood, y’all, and speak the truth. Big time. Because there’s absolutely no room in your life for the lies I’ve listed below:

That’s right. I said it. I struggle with perfectionism. Or as I like to call it, being an overachiever. For some reason that just sounds less offensive. You know, more playful. Less anal. Whatever makes me feel better, right?

Let me back up for a second. I’m assuming you all know and struggle with perfectionism too. But, just in case you don’t (You lucky thing, you!) or you’re in a deep state of denial as was I, I’ll start at the beginning.

First of all, what IS perfectionism?

According to dictionary.com, perfectionism is defined as a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands the highest degree of excellence and rejects anything less.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever dreamed of running away. Of starting over. Of leaving with nothing but the clothes on your back and hightailing it. The destination doesn’t matter all that much, does it? You just want out.

I’d like to introduce you to a very special person in my life. A confidant of mine. Someone who’s never let me down or betrayed my trust. Someone who answers whenever I call and has never judged me, no matter how pathetic or overwhelmed I may be.

The Brain Dump.

A good friend and mentor of mine prefers to call it the Brain Blossom. She thinks it lends a more positive, less gross connotation to this handy little strategy but personally? My brain doesn’t blossom. It doesn’t open up and flourish. Something beautiful and delicate isn’t unfurled.

As soon as someone figures out what I do for a living, one of two things happen. Either the questions start rapid fire or they slowly back away, first murmuring and then shouting words that sound a whole lot like “She can never come to my house. NEVER COME TO MY HOUSE.”

Now, those questions I get asked? Sometimes they’re just straight up curiosity about the things I have seen, and OH SWEET MOTHER, you should see some of the things I’ve seen. I have seen some STUFF, lemme tell you. Rarely, if ever, do I run screaming and crying in the opposite direction though. Okay, that’s a lie. I actually never run screaming and crying in the opposite direction as long as someone is open for a little bit of help.

If you’re sitting there shaking your head thinking “This chick hasn’t been to my house yet!” Lemme tell you a little secret. There’s always going to be someone who’s in better shape than you are, and there’s always gonna be someone who’s in worse shape than you are. And let’s get this straight right up front- There is no shame in my organizing game.

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