Though many families have already got their Christmas trees set up and loaded with decorations, Patrick and Kara Courtney are waiting just a little while longer. After all, they have to put away the Hanukkah menorah first.

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Patrick Courtney, who is Jewish, and Kara Courtney, a Christian pastor, are one of many interfaith couples navigating the holiday season.

Patrick, 35, who is Jewish but was raised by interfaith parents, works as interfaith outreach coordinator at Tifereth Israel, Des Moines' Conservative Jewish synagogue. Kara, 31, is a pastor at Highland Park Christian Church. Together, they are one of the many interfaith couples in the United States carving out their own unique ways of navigating the holiday season.

"We have an atypical family, that's for sure," Patrick said.

Atypical families are becoming more and more typical. Prior to the 1960s, only about 20 percent of marriages were mixed, including marriages between Catholics and Protestants and between mainline Protestants and evangelical Christians. By the end of 2010, the percentage had more than doubled, according to a study conducted that year. (Not counting marriages between Christians of different churches, about a third of American marriages are interfaith.)

As people of different faiths have merged throughout history, so have the customs that came along with them. The Christmas tree, for example, possibly originated among European pagans.

As a result, many interfaith families have crafted their own unique customs that honor both faiths. Dr. Kirpal Singh, who is Sikh, and his wife, Dr. Phyllis Singh, a Presbyterian, hang Christmas tree ornaments with pictures of Sikh gurus on them, among the angels and a star.

"We just integrate it all," Phyllis said.

Kirpal, 71, was first exposed to Christian holidays while studying medicine in England in the 1960s, and when he moved to Des Moines, began to observe some of them. Now retired in Florida, he embraces Christmas, wearing a red turban during the month of December and letting kids pull his white beard.

The key to making interfaith holidays go smoothly is respecting traditions, said Makhdoom Khan, a member of the Islamic Center of Des Moines. He and his wife, who is Catholic, decided to raise their infant as a Muslim, but they still plan to celebrate Christmas with her extended family.

"These holidays are for families to get together," Khan said. "We just enjoy each other's company."

Family gatherings require a measure of compromise, though.

When Jason Benell, who is an atheist, joins his wife Alyson's Lutheran family for the holidays in eastern Iowa, he says he just goes "through the motions" during the prayer before the meal, or when viewing the Nativity they've erected.

"Her grandparents are very old, so it's kind of hard to justify making their holiday less fun," Benell, 29, said.

"I'm not going to stand up and say 'Hey, this is silly,' " he said, "but at the same time, I'm not going to actively participate."

The Courtneys' approach to their interfaith marriage is to celebrate Christian and Jewish holidays separately and distinctly. You won't find a Star of David atop their Christmas tree.

"We try very hard to make sure that each one is its own holiday, that they don't influence one another," Patrick said.

Making an effort to treat both faiths as equals, especially in families with children, is a trend that is gaining popularity, said Susan Katz Miller, author of "Being Both: Embracing Two Religions in One Interfaith Family."

"In the past, there was tremendous pressure for interfaith families to choose one religion and one religion only, and to keep the other religion completely out of the family practice," Miller said. "And I think that's just not practical on a lot of levels." As children are exposed to extended families' customs at holiday dinners, weddings and funerals, there are bound to be questions, she said.

"Interfaith children are interfaith children because of these formative experiences, no matter what religious label we give them," Miller said. "That's something we should celebrate; it's not something that should always be seen as a problem or an issue. It can be beneficial, and children can gain a sense of being bridge-builders, being peacemakers, seeing the world through more than one set of religious lenses."

As new parents, the Courtneys are still figuring out exactly how they will engage their 2-month-old son, Aedan, in both religions equally during the holiday season, especially when "Santa Claus is a difficult thing to compete with," Patrick says.

"I don't like the over-emphasis of Hanukkah, but we have to strike a middle ground, so that Christmas doesn't stand out as the lone holiday where you get all the gifts," he said.

But gifts aren't the only thing Aeden will get each holiday season. He will also get the family traditions that Patrick and Kara are passing down from their ancestors.

"I just want to share them," Kara said. "He can take what he wants to take from it. I'm not entrenched in the idea that he's going to be Jewish or Christian. I just want him to know what's important to us, because the bottom line of it is that we love one another."