Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I dragged my four year old to the National Museum of Natural History this morning. We metro'ed in (which he loved because he likes trains) and then walked in the rain (which he also enjoyed because he loves puddles.

Why the Natural History museum? Dinosaurs, of course. He is a typical boy that way, too.

So, over the course of the day he said three wonderful things (wonderful in that I enjoyed them):

1. When the Dark is tired, the Sun comes up.

2. We saw BIG dinosaur teeth, BIG SHARP TEETH that will bite your fingernail off and then you'll bleed so when we see those dinosaurs, that's why we RUN. We run fast. We run into the parking lot and then into the grass and the trees and we hide. We hide from the BIG SHARP TEETH.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Adam rolls his eyes and looks away, but his exasperation is obviously all for show.

“I met Lydia just a few nights ago. I was trying to forget the whole lot of you, actually, after your Valentine’s Day fiasco. That’s another story, though.

“I was out dancing, having a good time although no one was catching my eye when I heard this deep boom—louder than the bass in the club. I danced my way away from the women and toward the door.

“Outside, a big black hummer was engulfed, just completely engulfed in flames. A crowd was beginning to form and Lydia was in this crowd—though I didn’t notice her yet. I was a little preoccupied with the black giant that stepped out of the blazing hummer like the nothing was amiss.

“Immediately, he registered as abnormal. What Shaq-tall black guy walking unfazed through fire wouldn’t though? Oh, and then there was the big-ass ninja sword he had strapped to his belt. But he just up and walked away, like the sun was shining on him and everything was peachy fucking keen. Hell, I think a butterfly landed on his nose while Mr. Bluebird rode shotgun on his shoulder and three dozen woodland creatures sung and played around his feet as only woodland creatures can. Plus, he was registering as weird; supernatural, I suppose.

“My eyes scanned the crowd and that’s when I saw Lydia, though, I didn’t know her name yet, of course. She, too, seemed a little, off, shall we say? I noticed her, the golden hair, the slightly pale coloring, and her perfect body. I marked the way her eyes followed Shaq when he walked casually in the opposite direction. I watched as she, without noticing me, walked away from the explosion.

“I’m not stupid; I knew she was tied to the explosion. I felt it in my gut. But I chased after Shaq first. It wasn’t until I caught him that I realized he was more Samuel fuckin’ L. Jackson than Shaquille O’Neal.

“I told him I just wanted to help him out. I told him it wasn’t everyday that I saw a man climb out of a burning hummer unharmed. He told me to get lost. He told me he didn’t want to be responsible for my life.

“It was obvious he was on some sort of mission. I figured that I might actually learn something from him. There wouldn’t be any fighting or bickering. So, I told him I’d help out—if he’d give me a weapon.

“He argued he didn’t want to be responsible for my life. He claimed that his mysterious superiors would kill us both if I were mixed up in, well, whatever he was mixed up in. So, I dropped the only information that could have helped me through the door: I told him there was a blonde woman watching him very intently and that she seemed a little strange.

“He spun around instantly and we stalked off toward Lydia. All the time, he told me I needed to get lost. As soon as we were close enough to see Lydia, he lost interest, spun, and went in the other direction again.

“I figured then that my best chance at learning what had happened lied with the woman. So, I walked right up to her and slipped my arm into hers.

“I said, ‘Where’ve you been beautiful? I’ve been looking for you all night.’ She was intrigued with my forwardness. I asked her out for a drink and she suggested we skip the formalities and just go back to her place, if I were interested.

“With her arms covered, it was hard for me to tell just how much warmth she had. I dedicated myself to discovering what exactly she was, at the very least. So we hopped into her sports car.

“She drove like a maniac. I slipped my hand onto her leg and made small talk. She asked me why I wasted my time with small talk. ‘A good way to pass the time,’ I said. I slipped my hand farther up the inseam of her tight, leather pants.

“There wasn’t much heat. Probably wasn’t any heat, I thought but I couldn’t stop there. That wasn’t enough evidence. So my hand slipped farther up to where her legs met her body. Still no warmth.

“I thought then that my life might be over. I was dedicated to see it through, though. Up the elevator we went to her hotel room.

“We fucked all night long. Her body felt a bit different—cold, of course. She was also hard and strong and pushed me to my limits. I made sure to do the same to her. I had to keep her interested, right?

“Not long before sun-up, her teeth began to prick at my...neck. Apparently, orgasming repetitively all night long, is just the foreplay for a vampire’s meal.” Adam smiles a little, but the smile falls away seconds later.

“Playfully, I told her, ‘I plan on surviving this night, darling, so don’t bite too hard.’ She grabbed my shoulders, spinning me to face her on the bed. Her cold nipples were rigid as she thrust herself against me. Her arms slid down to my wrists, icy, unbreakable steel. She held my arms taught as she traced her fangs longingly against my throat.

“Forcefully, I told her, ‘I will live to see the morning.’ She laughed, pushed me onto my back and climbed onto me, sinking around me, drawing my focus away from the cool chill of her abdomen rubbing against mine, those pert nipples against my chest and my arms, pinned. Her hips distracted me, drawing my mind from the danger and into ecstasy.

“Her hips worked back and forth again and again, until I was moaning. The first tickles of that blonde hair fell across my neck. She was still laughing, even as my voice worked itself toward a crescendo. Her lips were the candy given to my childish neck. Her fangs, the razor-truth of reality, tore into my throat and my cry orgasm became one of pain.

“You cannot imagine a pain like that. It was fire and lightning ravaging the inside of my body. It was glass exploding behind my eyes and frigid talons rending my heart. I only allowed it for a moment but within that moment, I lived and died a thousand times.

“No, you cannot imagine a pain like it. It took most of my strength but I managed to imagine a barrier between myself and her. I imagined her being thrown away from me.

“The thump of her body slamming into the wall of the hotel room brought me back to myself.

“She hissed, ‘What are you?’.

“I said, ‘I’m a real man, the first one you’ve ever met, and I’m still interested if you are, but I will LIVE through this night. When that sun comes up, I’ll be watching it rise.’

“Like a broken record, she whined, ‘What are you?’

“I told her, ‘I have no idea. Why don’t you come over here and help me find out?’ She looked skeptical. I said, ‘Seriously, fuck me now. Then help me figure it out.’ That was all the invitation she needed.” Adam chuckled and adds, “She crossed the room a little more carefully that time. But she had no qualms crawling back onto my lap. I had no qualms about having her there either.

“She was slightly warmer those last few times.

“Just before sun up, I exchanged cell numbers with her. We agreed to meet again later in the week—which became last night. Do I need to go over that again? Or the phone call?”

Biography of a

I stumbled when I wandered down the rabbit-hole path of life. Perhaps it was the colorful poppies with their sweet scent or the exotic peppery aroma from the caterpillar's pipe that slowed me.
No matter the cause (reason or excuse), my course was interrupted. Thankfully, a white rabbit bumped into me complaining about the time and his missing gloves.