I know you're just joking, but the point is valid all the same.(Technically its a fragment, actually the second half of a compound sentence. I was going to major in English at some point in the recent past, I have since abandoned that goal)

何も cannot take the particle を, because も is itself acting as a particle, and も always replaces を. (I've made this mistake too. ^^;)

Also note that, for that reason, when 何も, どこも, etc. is used with other particles, those particles will typically come before the も. For example, 何でも, which means "anything", どこにも, which is どこも combined with に to mean "at/to anywhere", etc.

You're also using 謙譲語 incorrectly. 謙譲語 is used to describe your own actions. 尊敬語 is used to describe the actions of others. 差し上げる(which is 謙譲語) isn't just more formally. It's 敬語 and that means it's black magic. Evil stuff. I can't use use 敬語 that well myself so I'm going to do you a favor and not advise you on how to use it...

差し上げる literally means "to lift up and give" meaning you're reaching up to someone in higher status and giving them something.

Thank you everyone. I dropped this sentence in favor of something else entirely, though that didn't do much good I still got the assignment back with a ton of corrections needed. I wanted a challenge this year in my Japanese class and I guess I got it, next time I will be more careful in wishing for more challenging classes