Kicked in the Donuts

[:en]Okay, not to get all Jerry Seinfeld, but what is the deal with Canadians and donuts? Per capita, Canadians consume more donuts than every Asian country combined. Thata��s an actual fact. Look it up.

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Dying to know what the fascination was with these donuts, I sampled a random dozen. Here are my reviewsa��

CHOCOLATE GLAZED – The black crust of this delicacy comforts Canadians who spend upwards of thirteen months a year without the sun. Also, based on my time spent there, they add a much-needed sprinkle of diversity.

POWDERED JELLY a�� Jelly filled white dough? Doesna��t get any more Canadian than that.

BEIGNETS a�� The only thing worse than a doughnut, is a French doughnut.

BOSTON CRA?ME a�� I used to bang a girl from Boston, and leta��s just saya��actually I dona��t think we can say it. (Checking) Nope. We cana��t say it. Family blog and whatnot.

BEAR CLAW a�� This paw shaped doughnut is a mockery to everything that is food. So a regular doughnut wasna��t big enough for you people? You needed a doughnut with a handle? Ia��ll never understand why we still let you be a country.

APPLE FRITTERS a�� Dammit, Canada. Apples are American! They are as American as monster trucks, violence, and inefficient/expensive medical care! Back off!

DONUT HOLES a�� A smaller version of your beloved donuts. I assume these are used to wean the more desperate cases of fatties off their precious vices. a�?Hey Gordie, dona��t eat that bear claw, just eat like, I dona��t know, a hundred doughnut holes.a�? a�?Gee, thanks! Thata��s way healthier, a�?eh?a�? a�?God, wea��re stupid, a�?eh?a�? a�?a��Eh!a�? And then they repeat that entire exchange in French, because they have to.[:]