New York blends the gift of privacy with the excitement of participation. Here is New York, E.B.White, 1949 [Taschen, "365 Day-by-Day New York Calendar"]

Step 61 - Find Your Lifestyle
As I said in one of my recent posts – the world has changed and the way we live has changed. I honestly think it’s time to reevaluate some ideas and solutions about the life we want to l...

Do you even want to get married?
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage recently (not about my own), because suddenly I spend a lot of time talking to married guys (just as friends). And I started to come...

Choose Your Own Relationship
I’m single so – naturally – I do think about guys and relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot of what type of a guy would actually make me want to be in a relationship. An...

What’s The Best Dating Advice?
There are plenty of advisors on the dating scene – there are videos and articles about every aspect of dating, with all these great pieces of advice: “What to do on a date,&rd...

Step 56 - Getting You Off The Hook.
I’ve done some thinking recently and tried to figure out the basic way people come up with an excuse. It’s a broad topic, but I’ve mostly experienced one response from variety o...

Williamsburg Is Over
Summer’s almost here, so I decided to take a walk in Williamsburg, and it just reassured me that… thinks are really over for this neighborhood. I moved to Greenpoint (a sister neighb...

Where is love?
Love has been on my mind recently (and probably has been unconsciously for a while now) and I started thinking about where to find it. I know it’s a pretty odd thing (...

Step 51 - What Should Be Your Main 2018 Goal?

Some people hesitate to set any New Year goals and resolution for themselves; they just find them stupid. I can understand that. But then some others – like me – take them seriously, because they believe that a year without new goals simply makes no sense.

I made a whole list for myself for 2017 and must say I’m pretty satisfied with how it all went. I didn’t fulfill all of them – some major ones aren’t even touched – but most of them, I was lucky to accomplish. Btw – I made the mistake of putting too much pressure on myself… again.

But I have an idea for a new resolution. And it’s not only for myself. And I would insist it becomes your new year resolution too, regardless of what you think about the idea of having any. I think it should become your priority, even if you got other priorities lined up for yourself already.

Your major New Year resolution should be – do everything you truly want to do. And I’m not talking about all the “carpe diem” stuff, or even about being more open. I’m not talking about going crazy, or acting like it’s your last year on this planet and breaking up with your life so far (don’t leave your husband after reading this post, for God’s sake).

What I’m talking about is breaking free. No, don’t quit your job and jump on a plane to an exotic country on the same day. It’s not about running away from your life; it’s about running towards the life you truly want and deserve to have.

Let me be more specific. What I want you to do is to be finally honest with yourself. Can you do that…? Have a serious conversation with yourself. I have a feeling that we all got trapped in this whole “you must” cycle. Your family, the society, even your friends expect certain things from you and my question is – do you still know what is it that YOU want? I find it very easy to be distracted and to get off the track. I constantly hear someone telling me what I should do – because I am 35 (marriage), because I’m a woman (kids), because I live in a different country (make a lot of money or come back home), because I’m single (there is something wrong with you). And at some point you just don’t know which thoughts are yours and which are other people’s. I was quite confused for a bit, but the last few months helped me to realize where I should be and what I should be doing with my life. And what I should be doing with my days and my future is not of anyone else’s business. And that’s how you should think about your life, too. Be with whoever you want to be, get married or not, have kids or don’t have them, live in the same city or move abroad, have a career or stay at home with kids. We are not all the same; our desires and dreams are different. Only you truly know what your heart says. How about just going for it…?

But in order to get there, to dig deep inside yourself, you have to give yourself some space in your head; you have to focus. One coffee shop session with yourself won’t be enough. It requires some work – some time without technology, without social media, focused meditation, working out or a long walk in nature. Do whatever you have to do to slow down and get there.

You might have different goals for yourself this year and that’s great; I believe they’re all important – but I still strongly encourage you to think about this particular one and really make it into your priority. Listen to yourself; don’t mute the inner voices and find the courage to be yourself. You have to understand one thing – you have the right to live the life you want. Don’t do something just because you think you should be doing it. Do it because you really want to. And when you finally let desires to come out, simply trust yourself, have some faith in yourself and don’t think that you’re crazy. You’re not crazy; you’re perfectly fine with whatever makes your heart beat faster. Let yourself live, and not just be.