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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My lost Identity!!!!!!

Today, when I was sitting there on marine drive, was constantly thinking about myself. I was sitting with friends but wasn't there mentaly..

I was thinking about "Is it OK to fight for your dreams? Is it fine to fight for things u love? Even if t hurts people you love? What's more important- making people happy or being happy?? whats more important-- let things happen or make them happen??" Too many questions for a tiny brain.

Someone must be thinking I am loosing my mind but I know the truth. I am just in the search of the right path for myself. Whenever I look around me. I find people People too busy with their own lives. They seem to be with you but when u actually look into things deeply none is really there. Yeah, I know its not true for everyone but still I am not supposed to say that every relation is perfectly true or am I?

I must say when I think about things happening around, I find myself lost. Its not that I don't see it. I face it everyday but its not that easy to accept it. Whenever I feel low, just 1 thing comes in my mind- should I give up?? Why am I loosing hope?? Should I stop believing in things or myself.......... ?? I am scared of myself.. Sometimes I even think about commiting suicide too.(never mind, I made this one up, lol. I am really too coward to do that).. But I wasn't like this ever,Ii wasn't negetive ever... Its getting very hard to smile now a days.. I never tried so hard to being happy... I used to believe in living life not just spending it for the sake coz you have to.. Seriously I don't even remember when I laughed so hard by heart last time..Many times I try to collect my thoughts together and wrap them up but not able to..