By Shaenon K. Garrity

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Yeah, yeah, geeky gamer guys are scared of girls. As I said before, I cut a lot of material from this storyline at the writing stage, but I probably could have trimmed more. A lot of the gaming group strips are pretty blah, although the gaming group itself ended up being a nice set of characters later in Narbonic.

Seth is wearing a classy Lady Death T-shirt. Eric’s shirt is from the MST3K ConventioCon Expo-Fest-A-Rama, the official “Mystery Science Theater” convention. Kevin, the guy Eric is based on, was a big MST3K fan, and in fact we met on the MST3K Usenet group. I wanted very badly to attend the ConventioCon Expo-Fest-A-Rama when I was a feckless Ohio teen who could only dream of someday visiting anyplace as glamorous as Minnesota. Little did I know that someday, thanks to my mad-science Internet comic, I would have a Twin Cities-based convention of my very own. Beverly Garland didn’t come to mine, though.

Song list:

76. “Lonely Lab of Broken Hearts,” by the Arrogant Worms

I’m in the lonely lab of broken hearts I dissect the way you say goodbye until it falls apart I’m in the lonely lab of feelin’ blue And my pheremones can find no trace of you

Suggested by Tara Tallan. Are you reading Tara’s comic Galaxion? Because you really should be doing that. I was reading it before it was a webcomic, which is how cool I am.

I don’t have much to say about this one except that:

1. Although the physical resemblance isn’t really there because I suck at drawing people, Freddy’s reaction in the last panel is an accurate depiction of Jason Thompson, the cartoonist (and author of Manga: The Complete Guide) on whom the character is based.

2. The figurine in front of Freddy is a Mock Man, a stick figure-y character Jason used to draw into his comics all the time.

3. Yes, that’s a can of Ellmann Energy Drink. I’m not sure what it turns into in the last panel.

Song list:

77. “The Operation,” by Charlotte Gainsborg

I want to explore you I’m gonna get under your skin So you can feel me running through your veins I want to examine Every inch of your frame The pressure points that cause your joy and pain Our love goes under the knife There is no room for doubt

Suggested by Jeremy Berg. Thanks!

I still kind of like this one, although my art in all these strips is terrible. I wasn’t used to drawing the gamers. Somehow the pop cans all got freaky small in this strip.

Song list:

78. “Ruler of Everything,” by Tally Hall

You understand Mechanical hands Are the ruler of everything Ruler of everything I’m the ruler of everything In the end

Suggested by B.J. Johnson. Thanks!

I drew very few panels in which Seth doesn’t have a sweat drop flying off his head. For some reason I’m fascinated by nerdy guys who are constantly angry and frustrated at the universe. I’m going to have some in Skin Horse too.

Actually drew some cleavage on Dave in the second panel there.

Song list:

79. “Lost in Space,” by Aimee Mann

Lost in space above all drifting To a place where planets shifting The moon erased, it’s features lifting the glare

But I am the stuff of happy endings Though mostly bluff, belief suspending But close enough for just pretending to care

Have I mentioned how much I am digging Aimee Mann lately? Because I hell of am.

The things Helen is holding in the first panel are sheets of electrophoresis gel; the dark lines are centrifuged genetic material, which forms layers in the gel based on mass. It’s usually used for genetic analysis. Basically, I can only draw lab materials used in freshman bio, because that’s all I took in college.

I was having underwire issues at the time I wrote this. I bought some better bras later.

If I have understood correctly Velocity equals the distance traveled divided by time. I’ve read every word ever printed on quantum physics Now it is time to try I read your book I found your notes I dusted this thing off and turned on the key The rumbling motors The buzzing Incredible gadgets The hissing electricity

Another song suggested by my friend Drave. Thanks, Drave!

Yes, this is just silly, but I needed some explanation for Dave’s willingness to go on this date. Throughout Narbonic, Dave, is shockingly susceptible to bribery.

I do like Dave’s rock-solid confidence in her own beauty. Oddly, Dave is just as solidly convinced that he’s unattractive as a man.

Andrew prefers Mike to Joel.

Song list:

81. “Frankenstein,” by the New York Dolls

And all these shoes are too big And this jacket’s too small How you don’t know Frankenstein, a Frankenstein We’re asking you as a person Is it a crime, is it a crime For you to fall in love in with Frankenstein?

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57 thoughts on “Gender Swap: December 31, 2001 – January 5, 2002”

Personally, since Dave has an entirely new voice, I think they’d be more likely to assume that Dave’s long lost fraternal twin has subbed for him. Then we could witness that grand comedy staple where Dave answers several ridiculously specific or humiliating questions and the guys are all “Yup, that’s really Dave.”

One thing I like about this sub-storyline is that, whatever their issues with the female of the species might be, the whole gaming group immediately and without question accepts the idea that this strange chick is, in fact, Dave transformed into a woman. No Weirdness Blindness for the gamers, thankyouverymuch!

Ah. I have a personal story about this strip. When I was first reading the archives I had “010101.jpg” open in a window. Then I decided to view the next episode by changing the image URL. (If you don’t know why I did this, I’ll tell you in two months.)

However, just that once I accidentally typed “010102.jpg” instead of “010201.jpg“. Whoops! I’ve seen too far ahead. But, as it turned out, this episode is one of the few in this story arc where the meaning of Dave’s situation is somewhat ambiguous.

Hmm, firebaling the tunnel is valid, but doesn’t he have one of the Hand spells? One of the few things they’re even good for (besides providing cover for the Ranger or Paladin) is moving things. Plus, that and a tensers floating disk can make a sort of magical slingshot dealy…

It is a common element of these storylines that the victim’s transformation is shunned and rejected by her former friends. But is this really the worst that Dave suffers? She gets off quite lightly, even for comedy.

You know what I would’ve done in Dave’s place? Made a new character, started playing it, then slipped some gender-swap compound to the other players, then used the new “new-gender, new-character” rule to lay claim to all their old characters’ stuff. Helen would probably let Dave have some, since she would likely approve of the evil revenge sentiments involved.

Some details of today’s strip that elude comprehension are 1) whether this is the day after the game, or just a few hours later, and 2) exactly why Seth is going to miss Toonami. Also 3) why Dave invited Seth into an underground laboratory below a highway median strip in the first place.

And 4) how Dave is still tall enough to drive.

Unfortunately, those clear sheets still look like fastened insect specimens to me. Even now I struggle to live down my previous gaffe in that regard. (Why did I choose physics in high school? Why?)

I am hypersensitive and absolutely refuse to wear underwires anymore, period. This is problematic because, due to weight gain, I’m pretty busty at present. They do not make a lot of non-underwire bras in the larger sizes, let alone ones that do the job. Is this sufficient grounds for liposuction, do you think?

So I went home and I borrowedThe keys to my dad’s new time machineHe told me not to touch it, he’d just had it cleanedBut I knew that if I took it then I’d have the meansTo finally make it back to see you

I set the controls for yesterdayI thought the machine would take that literallyI expected to step out and to see you smiling at meSo when I opened up my eyes I was surprised to see

I was at the dawn of the day before the time of the land the lost dinosaurs forgot to rememberNot even the lost dinosaurs remembered not to forget the land of the time that came right after the day of which we’re going back to the dawnAnd if you ever visit the beginning of timeI’ll be the one in the bathrobeSwinging from a vine

At the dawn [etc]

Escape, Ookla the Mok (from their Smell No Evil rock opera about a space monkey and the boy who loves him)

Aaron, you’re only saying that because you realized that Dave could probably time-travel to this point in the continuum and hit exactly that.

Just sayin’.

I gotta say Joel edges out Mike for me, but mostly because I just like the Trace Beaulieu/Joel Hodgson run best of MST3K. It helps that a) it’s the first one I was exposed to and b) “Sandy Frank” had yet to figure out why they were licensing his films. Making fun of Gamara is like stealing candy from comatose babies.

There were some really great moments in the later years, though. “Remember to always believe in magic…or I’ll kill you.” is one of those memorable lines that still pops up in the midst of meetings here at work.

For some unfathomable reason, this strip caused me to ponder my opinions on MST3K in detail far before being rerun in the Director’s Cut. I figured that bringing them up in a discussion about the comic would be too crass and inflammatory, so thanks to Steph for broaching the subject instead.

In my (limited) experience, it’s Mike who has the most to offer as a host. I prefer his more active attitude, his “big brother” relationship with the bots and all the wacky hijinks that ensue. MIKE BROKE THE HUBBLE! MIKE BROKE THE HUBBLE!

At the same time, Joel meshes better with the rest of the show. MST3K’s ubiquitous jury-rigging themes were a heartwarming example of turning a weakness into a strength: presumably the show wouldn’t have looked nearly as good if it had had more money to work with. Mike never really fit into that. That’s why the invention exchanges stopped – Mike was not a tinkerer. If we hold the hosts accountable for what happened during their watch, then I favor Joel. Mary Jo Pehl was many things, but she was not Trace Beaulieu.