If you won the World Cup for the USA, who would you want to celebrate with?

by sanjosebarstool

So a lot has been made about Rihanna partying with the German national team after they won on Sunday, as well as the lengthy list of famous people who came to the finale including but not confined to: LeBron, Putin, Gisele, etc. The type of people so famous that they only need one name.

And look at where we’ve come so far: Remember when we beat Algeria in the waning seconds of the game? Guess who was down there to crack open some Bud Heavy’s? Billy Clinton.

Which brings me to my next point, if the USA (or better yet, WHEN) is ever in the finale which I hope I see in my lifetime and if you were to score the winning goal to win the first ever Cup for the ole stars and stripes, you’d be Mike Eruzione famous times 10,000%. Mike’s name is known by every American hockey player and will be for generations. Did he ever do anything professionally? Nope, but he beat the Russians. All you need to know.

So in today’s age where there’s so much celebrity associated with the World Cup and it being the trendy thing to become a fan of every 4 years, who would you want to kick it with after the game? I throw out all women choices because if you’re a single dude that won the World Cup for the US of A, you’d probably have to take a year off from professionally playing just to satisfy the women lining up to meet you. Plus, you’re picks have to be so American, they wouldn’t even need a caption other than “Americans”

Which brings me to my choices, no. 3 Ray Liotta:

Might not be people’s first choices but if after the game all of a sudden you’re hanging with the kid Henry and he’s going nuts pouring you shot after shot, you’d have to feel like a made guy, right? Not to mention you’d also be partying with Shoeless Joe Jackson. Best part is you know that you could drop a line like, “I knew the goalie was knew I was going right but fuck him, I kicked it over there anyway!” and you know he’d do this

Price value on that is priceless.

Number two? Have to go with the Boss.

Bruce Springsteen is probably the most American guy of all time. Guy just bleeds authentic American, not like that fake John Cougar Mellencamp stuff, and people in other countries pay to hear this guy because he’s so goddamn American. The tunes you could be playing in the locker room afterwards he could actually be singing himself with you while pounding brews.

Singing with Bruce because HE wants to be hanging with you: priceless. Might even get a hit song named after you.

But really, the person that you’d want to party with after a World Cup win has to be without question Christopher McDonald aka Shooter McGavin. Why? Here’s why:

The guy is the “ugly American” to the core and what would the USA be doing by winning the World Cup? Basically giving a double pistol shoot at the whole rest of the World. That’s about all you need, you and Shooter pistoling out of control in the lockerroom just rubbing all of civilization’s nose in the fact that the guys nobody likes one. Boom roasted. SHOOTER.