Me: “Hey kiddo! How was your trip to Europe?”
Kid: “So good! We stayed in REALLY fancy hotels! I had to wear a fancy dress to dinner EVERY night!”
Me: “Oooh, how nice!”
Kid: “Yeah. And I got you a present!”
Me: “You did?! Aw, you shouldn’t have.”

Kid hands me this:

Me (trying to hide my what-the-fuckness): “Oh, M&Ms!”
Kid: “My mom said I could only spend $2.”
Me: “Ok, well. That makes sense. What with the cost of the fancy hotels and all…”
Kid: “Yeah. So I wanted to get something nicer but I could only get candy.”
Me: “Well, they’re M&Ms all the way from Europe, so they must be special!”
Kid: “Actually I got them at the airport.”
Me: “That’s still Europe!”
Kid: “JFK Airport.”
Me: “Oh.”