She Has Everything & You Hate Her For It.

She has everything. She’s pretty, she’s articulate, she drives a fancy convertible, she’s had every career imaginable, and she managed to fuck a dick-less boyfriend for over five decades. She’s fantastic and she is made of plastic.

She’s a wholesome sex icon. She is one gigantic joke.

I do a whole Barbie bit in my stand up act. It begins with “my parents always bought me career Barbies..they never seemed to get me the one I really wanted..serial killer Barbie. She was too expensive the bodies were sold separately..”

(Photo Credit: Mariel Clayton)

I truly believe that Barbie was created by a devote Christian because she’s had the same boyfriend for 50 years, and her knees don’t bend.

I think Mattel created a society that mocks society and it all began with monogamy. I don’t believe Barbie’s “unrealistic” figure should be frowned upon. I think the idea that she’s smokin hot, insanely driven, seems to have it all and only had one boyfriend along the ride is the problem. We are a society obsessed with monogamy and I think this an enormous issue. I don’t care about getting married, or being with the same guy for five decades. It just doesn’t seem fun or realistic.

Barbie and her plastic friends are a representation of what Capitalism and religion have imbedded into our minds. Barbie doesn’t have just any car..she has a pink convertible car, so when she is driving everyone will stare, and probably snapchat it at a stop light. She has a huge mansion in Malibu, a gigantic swimming pool, a Kim Kardashian lifestyle and she never had to get fucked on camera to get it.

I will be performing at Club Privacy at 9pm on October 20th & The Clown House on October 22nd at 8pm in Downtown LA!

I had a great performance at the Ice House in Pasadena this past Sunday… I am trying to get the video so I can post! If not, I will try and film Thursday, or Saturday!