FACT: Using Diet Mixers Gets You Drunk Faster

TIME: A new study, to be published in a forthcoming issue of Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, found that using diet soda as a mixer can dramatically increase breath-alcohol content (BAC) without increasing your awareness of being impaired. The study, which compared Smirnoff Red Label plus Squirt (a lemon-lime soda with no caffeine) with the vodka with Diet Squirt, found that the diet cocktail increased BAC by 18%. That’s almost as much as having an additional standard drink and was enough to tip people from being under the legal limit for driving to being unsafe to drive.

OK kids? So crack open a can of Diet Coke and stop cramming vodka soaked tampons up your ass or funneling beers through your sphincter!