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February 04, 2013

All I Need (Is More Ridiculousness Because It Brings Me Joy)

Only two important things happened on today's General Hospital and the word "important" is probably the understatement of this short year. "Momentous" would be more apt, I think. Perhaps even "life-changing".

The first is, obviously, Frisco's return.

EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT.

I knew Jack Wagner was coming back. Even if I didn't know Jack Wagner was coming back, the entirety of today's Mac/Felicia/Kevin scenes were filled with so much foreshadowing amidst the 90s nostalgia and Felicia annoyingness (I am able to stand Felicia about 60 percent of the time and the rest of the time, she makes me nutty. I can't even predict it! There are some entire episodes that I watch thinking "Aw, Felicia! So good to have you back" and they are in no way different from the episode that makes me rage-y. I think the moral of this story is that I am an obnoxious person) that I'd still have a pretty good idea that Frisco would be showing his well-preserved face at some point before 3PM.

Felicia: Mac and I have been apart a lot, and that's my fault. But I know -- well, I've always known that, deep down, if I really needed him and I got into trouble, he would be there for me. Mac: I would. I would. Just like I know felicia would show up for me. Kevin: And I'm happy for both of you. But this situation is a little different, don't you think? You don't have a vampire between you. Mac: We had Frisco. Does that count? Felicia: The point is, is that we got past it. I put Frisco behind me.

So even with all of that obviousness and prior knowledge and DUH in mind, I still clapped a little when he made his grand entrance. It was so soapy! Frisco!

The second was Caleb's hair extensions.

I'm not sure I will ever stop laughing. They are RIDICULOUS. It's like they took hay, dyed it with shoe polish and then made poor Michael Easton wear it on his head. This is clearly a high point of soaps in 2013.

The story itself--the evil vampire doppelganger murder mystery. This is a thing!--makes not a lick of sense. The stories that are connected to this story (the issues between Kevin and Lucy, the you-know-it's-totally-coming teen love triangle between Molly, Rafe, and TJ with Danny playing the "What is happening right now?" chorus like he did, adorably, at the police station today) are either depressing or not incredibly interesting. And yet, I want more. Specifically, more flashbacks of a broadly smiling Michael Easton wearing a dead plant on his head.

Britt: Well, when you didn't respond, I assumed you changed your mind. You know, it's probably for the best. I can call Lulu, and I will make a full disclosure. I'll explain that you're having Spinelli's baby and not hers. Maxie: No, no! Okay. Whatever you want, I'll do it. I'm in. Britt: Glad to hear it. Maxie: So, what are we talking about here? You want a makeover? Not that you need one. Um -- some personal shopping, I'm hoping? Britt: You're gonna help me destroy Sabrina Santiago.

First of all: Maxie, your life is terrible because you have never made a life choice that is anything but terrible.

Also, this has disaster and boredom written all over it. "Destroy" how? Like, murder her? Britt is aggressive enough at the best of times that I wouldn't be surprised, but it will more likely involve public humiliation in the manner of a very special episode of Blossom and unless a Joey Lawrence stand in is around to say "Whoa", I'm not into it.

Third of all: Sabrina kind of deserves to be destroyed. Or at least publicly humiliated or slapped upside the head because this is just sad and pathetic.

Sabrina: Because what am I supposed to do? Just walk right up to him and say, "Hey, excuse me, Patrick. I'm sorry for interrupting your phone call, but I just wanted to let you know that I have been madly in love with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you"?

Really? A grown person actually said that and wasn't joking, the way I was joking when I said almost exactly the same words to Colin Kaepernick during his first Monday Night Football start (really, I could watch him play football all day, every day. Also, I miss football already). She was serious. It worries me. Can I arrange a psych consult for a fictional character?

I hate to admit, but I find what's going at Ferncliff pretty hilarious, in a good to laugh at GH again way :) Which is probably a good thing, since much of the cast will end up there soon enough. Anyone Patrick has sex with (besides Robin who ended up there against her non dead will) goes super psycho. Sonny definitely belongs there with Connie/Kate. Olivia is tripping all over town and should check in. Her boyfriend should also be Ferncliffed just for being so dull dumb and dreary. Carly needs a straight jacket like Alexis needs a non mobbed up man. Then anyone exposed to too much of Felicia's voice might have a psychotic break. Her daughter as you so correctly stated is incapable of making a life choice that isn't wildly self destructive/criminal. I could just go on and on here. GH is just Ferncliff Lite ;)

It saddens me to admit that when Sabrina was first introduced, I found her refreshing. Not so much anymore. The girl is tiresome, pathetic and unrootable as an underdog. Is there a grown woman alive in 2013 that acts so juvenile and insecure?

Patrick has been relegated to an extra for Sabrina's story and Britt needs a back story ASAP. I'm just waiting for the ball to drop and we find out that Sabrina is an alien sent to earth to spread sunshine and happiness. (Casey the Alien's daughter).

I completely agree with you about Sabrina. Initially I found her innocence mildly endearing... 3 months ago... Now it's annoying and pathetic and not worth Patrick's time. And I wouldn't mind her being kicked/slapped into reality.

However, in her defense, she's probably in her early 20s with a sunny childhood and very little life experience. Which basically makes her a child, especially paired with Patrick's mid/late 30s neurosurgeon/"widower"/single dad with a sad childhood.

Watching Sabrina and Liz giggling and grabbing each other, I asked myself "is this junior high?"

@Vicki, very funny with the school dance and Air Supply song comment.

Why does Patrick end up in yet another psycho "girlfriend" story. There's nothing else for him to play but an extra in a good girl vs. evil witch storyline? Also, as glad as I am that they didn't kill off Robin, knowing she's alive has made it impossible to want Patrick with either Britt or Sabrina, two cardboard characters with little depth. It would have been effective if the writers waited to reveal Robin was alive AFTER Patrick got involved with someone decent and was making a new family with that person and Emma, IMHO.

Loved me some Frisco/JW back in the day! <3 Huge smile on my face when he walked into the bar. He's still got it! :-) But, truly, KW is really hard to watch. My teenage self does not remember her being so...cringeworthy.

The Patrick 'triangle' is ridiculous on so many levels. Grown woman shreiking while breaking up with single father whose daughter she didn't like anyway? Mmmkay. Did she expect him to dump Emma in the nearest orphanage for her, or what? Stupid. And writing Maxie to go alone for the "destroy Sabrina" ride is just a slap to the Maxie/Robin relationship. Robin would be super proud of her for helping hurt someone who has been so good to Emma. Here's a thought, have Maxie grow up already! That would be a much more enjoyable storyline. Then, watching those two giggle like middle schoolers was beyond ridiculous. Where was Ephiphany when you need her to slap the sh!t out of them? UGH. Awful, awful, awful. I wish Kimberly only the best, but hate that Robin can't come back to put this story out of it's own misery.

The Ferncliff scenes were a hoot! Enjoyed all the scenes between those 3. What a combination of actors!

Sabrina makes me crazy. And you know she's going to have one of those "not actually ugly duckling, but made to look like one with frizzy hair and glasses" makeovers. And then I might quite possibly throw something at the television.

Love me some Frisco, Mac, Felicia, Lucy and Kevin. It brings back so many great GH memories.

And can Colin Kaepernick be on GH? He could be a vampire. A shirtless vampire. *sigh* I miss football already, too. :(

Soblanda/Patrick is just horrible. I cringe just watching them being FF on my screen. And dragging poor Elizabeth into this turd sandwich of a story is just rotten. Why the hell wasn't Ephiphany or Monica(or any senior staff member) there bitching out all of them(Patrick, Bitchy and Soblanda) for being completely unprofessional and airing out their personal issues in the damn public areas of the hospital! What sane people do that?

Ferncliff stuff was awesome. Hilarious.

Frisco! Mac being kind of bitchy. Not in a good way. Felicia being a pushover. Also not good to see. God forbid Felicia ever communicate with her daughter's father again. Yeah, Mac doesn't have to love, like or even respect Frisco but the man isn't HIS issue. Felicia is Frisco's ex-wife and Maxie's bio father. So she can give him updates on whatever the hell Felicia wants him to know. I don't care for controlfreaks and Mac was really acting like one today.

When did Frisco die and why didn't anyone bury him?
The actor was so awkward in his performance that I could smell the formaldyhyde through the screen.
Watching him today was like watching a Zombie Rich Little do a bad Clint Eastwood impersonation.
Frisco was pretty much an early incarnation of the Lord of the Douche, but the guy wasn't always THIS bad of an actor, was he?

Frisco was/is the biggest deadbeat dad in Port Charles, and possibly all of daytime. He was virtually always absent from Maxie and Georgie's lives, unlike Felicia, who was there until their early teen years at least.
Why Felicia ever preferred him to Mac is something I don't get. And her Luke madness was even harder to understand. If they have her through Mac over now for this cartoon that's the end of any viability of her as a character.

Today was a very off one for the show IMO. Frisco was the worst, but having to watch Starr and Michael get frisky - and ruin Cool Whip for all time in the bargain, has a very high ICK factor. Their love scenes look far too much like underage porn.

GAWD - I can't believe I'm saying it, but I have to agree with boes. I was so excited to see Frisco on my screen on Monday, I actually squeed so loud I almost woke the neighbors (I didn't get to watch until nearly 1 a.m.); however, my excitement dwindled quite a bit on Tuesday. Between KW's unbelievably whiny "I'm about to sob" voice inflections and JW's bad, whispery Christian Bale-as-Batman impression, I felt deep sorrow for poor John J. York trying to insert actual ACTING into a scene that was getting pretty stunk up by those two. I'm hoping it's just a case of "I haven't been on screen in awhile" for JW.

At least I can 99% count on the fact that Genie Francis won't suffer such an issue when she returns next week....

I loved Frisco back in the day. When I heard he was coming back, I was more horrified than anything else, because the JW I've seen in photos in recent years looked old and I can't picture Frisco like that. But then he came on screen, and holy cow! That is my Frisco Jones! But that said, I still hope Maxie punches him in the face.

Hmn, liked the Ferncliff stuff and Todd in a security guard suit just reminds me of Todd as "Officer Starr" and makes me smile. Still liking cooky Heather and Lucy is fun too.

Ok. "Caleb's" hair is kinda ridiculous funny. . .intentionally I think. The kid playing "Rafe" is really good (I may have to eat my words later, but heaps better than many young male actors - yes I'm looking at you Jack Manning), and if they make the story something even remotely believable I'll be into it. Vampires I can't do. Buffy did vampires best and that was it for me. No Edward or Bella or whomever. Make it about some whacko who 'thinks' he's a vampire and I'm there with ya.

Finally, just wanted to comment that the sentence "Meanwhile, over at the hospital side of General Hospital..." could not even have been spoken just a little over a year ago! So glad there's at least SOME hospital in GH. Hoping that stupid, bitchy Britt and insipid bland Sabrina cease to pollute Patrick's and Elizabeth's air (and story) soon.

I am willing to give JW and KW a pass for the next week.... it must be a tad weird to be acting with your ex again... I just think they all JY, KW and JW need to get their acting rhythm back. I am hoping Maxie does deck Frisco though! That 1st meeting should be fun.

I am soooo done with Sabrina/Britt. Thing 1 and THing 2 can leave now. Patrick needs to be paired with an equal--build a relationship with a stable WOMAN and then bang Robin returns... soapy

Maxie-- whoa-- really she is going to hurt Patrick/Emma. Robin would be so proud.

I am old and lived through the original Luke and Laura saga, running off the school bus to watch and I am SO THRILLED with GH. Every day a new joy. Frisco? Yes please. And after checking Facebook today I screamed so loud the people in my office are deaf now because SCOTTY BALDWIN!!!! OMG!
Also this vampire bullshit is ridiculous and a waste of everyone's time.

RC throwing Sabrina and Britt at Patrick is just his way of making sure that Liz did not take the hit from angry Scrubs fans, because the soapy story would have been for Liz and Patrick to walk down the aisle just as Robin runs into the church during their wedding.

1. Frisco-- awesome. The dialogue was lame (drinking game: shot every time he says "in the field"). But he's still got more chemistry with Felicia than anyone else ever did.
2. Caleb's locks-- yes! so glad you said it!
3. Maxie story-- so sad; I was really loving the story of her REALLY being a surrogate; she could have actually had real emotional growth and character development...sigh...
4. I tolerate Sabrina/Britch ONLY to see Patrick and Emma-- who break my heart every time they are on the screen (in a good way)