What You’ll Need

If you’re a man tuning in to Liz & Dick, choose scotch, make it neat, or grab a handle of vodka to drink in Richard Burton style. Then question your own choices for watching this film.

If you have seen the trailer, or have read anything about this Lifetime Television “Event,” you are ready for something laughably bad, and if you’re reading this list, you’re ready to get rip-roaring drunk.

On your marks, ladies (and gents), give yourself a club pour, and tee up Lifetime Television for women. It’s time to play.

Drink every time:

– Lindsay’s pseudo British accent fades into an American one and reminds you of her characters in “The Parent Trap.”

– You wonder if anyone in the movie took an acting lesson before landing this gig.

– Richard Burton has a drink in his hand.

– Richard Burton is drunk.

– Richard Burton is drunk in a mock turtleneck.

– Liz & Dick have a slurring, drunken fight.

– Fake crying during the drunken fight makes you uncomfortable.

– Someone makes sure Liz knows she’s fat.

– Some poor schmuck gives Liz enormous jewelry.

– Someone references what # marriage Liz is on.

– You Wikipedia how many times this woman got married.

– You’re distracted by Lindsay’s red lipstick or large old lady sunglasses.