One of the ugliest breakups in Capitol Hill history has taken yet another weird, sad, process-server-assisted twist. Former Senate staffer Robert Steinbuch, who sued his erstwhile office paramour Jessica Cutler after she blogged as "Washingtonienne" about their sex life, is now going after his ex in bankruptcy court.

Cutler, you'll remember, lost her job but won a Playboy spread and a book deal when her dirty online diary went public. But the good times didn't last: She filed for Chapter 7 in May. The blogger cited debts of nearly $100K, about two-thirds of it owed to the attorneys she hired to defend her after Steinbuch sued her in federal court for invasion of privacy (though her blog never named names) and emotional distress. Cutler's bankruptcy petition forced a temporary halt to Steinbuch's suit, which had already been mired in wrangling over what personal debts each side had to disclose.

But after a long quiet summer, Steinbuch recently got himself back on Cutler's radar by filing a complaint to insist that he get paid even if her AmEx and cable bills are dismissed. Cutler has filed to dismiss his claim. Can these two crazy kids ever find closure?

The Old 'Campaign Finance' Line Works Every Time

Jeri Thompson in her own words! In an interview with People magazine, on sale tomorrow, she dishes about marriage to GOP presidential candidate Fred Thompson:

* They met July 4, 1996, at a supermarket checkout in Nashville -- the then-U.S. senator was buying a can of Beanie Weenies and half of a premade tuna fish sandwich. He carried her groceries to her car; she invited him to a party that night.

* The romance flourished despite a 24-year age difference: "I was never an older-man-dater kind of girl before." Sparks flew over lunchtime banter on campaign finance when he said, "I wanted to lift the curtain so people understand."

* That whole young-blond-second-wife thing? "I almost think they had to fabricate that trophy wife stuff because there's nothing interesting to say."

A Lesson in Fender-Bender Etiquette, Courtesy of Mya

Hey, Britney -- this is how a pop star handles a fender-bender! Mya, the R&B chanteuse from Prince George's County, accidentally ran her Escalade into a Ford Explorer parked on M Street in Georgetown yesterday afternoon, then patiently waited for cops to show up. (Ms. Spears, you'll recall, just drove away after a similar incident captured by paparazzi.) Mark Fikes watched it all go down from the Uno pizza restaurant he manages. "She looked fabulous, her hair was flowing, she was wearing a nice chiffon blue blouse and jeans," he said. "I was going to offer her a free lunch but she looked like she was busy." Police said Mya and the Explorer owner just traded info -- no charges filed.

THIS JUST IN . . .

* A judge yesterday allowed Britney Spears to have supervised visits with her two children, but ex-husband Kevin Federline retains sole custody. The pop star also was issued a California driver's license, as required by a court order in her child custody battle. She passed the written portion; didn't have to take the driving test because her Louisiana license is valid.

* A naked man was arrested after he walked into Nicolas Cage's$25 million Los Angeles home and put on one of his leather jackets. The actor, who had been sleeping at the time, confronted the intruder early Monday morning, asked him to take off the jacket, then took him outside and called security.

QUOTE

"He's been dying for us to elope!"

-- Jenna Bush, smartly doling out another tantalizing personal tidbit on Publicity Tour, Week 2. The new author dished about her dad's preferences for how this whole wedding to Henry Hager thing should go down in a taping of "Rachael Ray" to air Monday.