Riding lots is easy because cycling is addicting, and few addictions are more dangerous than cycling. Really, have you seen this sport turn out well for anybody? One day you’re on top of the podium, the next day you’re cashing in on the notoriety of your sworn deposition by hawking a gran fondo named after yourself.

And that’s one of the success stories.

Just because you’re not a pro doesn’t mean cycling can’t destroy your life, too. Be honest: How many of the following have you been guilty of in the past month?
• Paying a fortune in airline fees to take your bike along on your three-day Disney World vacation
• Skipping out in the middle of a funeral service because you received an alert from Strava that someone just stole your KOM
• Overtraining to the point that your leg spasms and elevated heart rate make you twitchier than Dirk Diggler in the robbery scene in Boogie Nights

The truth is, anybody can be fit for riding. How fit are you for not riding? And I’m not talking about taking one of those “rest days,” where you’re “only” spinning. I’m talking about not getting anywhere near a bike for weeks or maybe even months on end and surviving with your love of cycling intact.

While you may not want to take any time off the bike, there are forces beyond your control that can compel you to do so. Injury is one. Natural disaster is another. And then there’s your spouse or life partner, which is more powerful than both of those combined. You may be able to “Tyler Hamilton” a broken collarbone or pedal through a hurricane, but there’s no way you’re getting out of that two-week visit to the in-laws. You’d better be ready to cope. So how do you train for not riding?

Like any other aspect of cycling, it requires motivation. You know, motivation like, “It’s that bike or me,” or that eviction notice you received because you spent last month’s rent on a Di2 upgrade.

Then there’s training itself. First, try some “foul-weather intervals” by not riding on a nasty day. And I don’t mean riding the trainer in the basement instead. I mean not riding at all. So it’s raining outside? Snowing? Swarming with locusts? Instead of riding your bike, just do something else! Watch TV. Read a book. Drink a beer. Have a conversation with another human being about something other than who won the sprint for 23rd place at that aforementioned gran fondo.

After a few foul-weather intervals you can build on your not-riding fitness by attempting to not ride your bicycle on a perfectly nice day. You may actually even find yourself enjoying the day despite not riding a bicycle. Don’t worry, this is simply called “getting a life,” and it will enable you to sustain long periods of not riding, which will in turn allow you to tend to other aspects of your existence, which will ultimately breed the sort of success and happiness that creates more riding time for you down the road.

“But hold on a minute!” you ask. What happens when I get back on the bike? Won’t I be unfit?” Of course—for like a week. The Bicycle Industrial Complex has done a great job of convincing you that time off the bike will cause your calves to shrivel up and fall off, but it’s simply not true. There’s a reason the expression “It’s just like riding a bike” refers to something you never forget how to do, and not to something that you have to do constantly or else you’ll die.

Plus, you don’t have to be a complete sloth while you’re off the bike, either. For instance, by running for just a few minutes in the morning you can experience the sort of pain and fatigue it would take you hours to achieve on the bike, and you and your shattered spirit will be back home before your significant other is even out of the bathroom. (Just be sure never to combine running with cycling or else you might catch triathlon, which is even more debilitating than chronic cycling.)

They say—or at least Sting says—that if you love somebody you should set them free, and the same goes for your bike. If the two of you can’t survive a short break from each other, then perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. A little time apart isn’t necessarily a bad thing. After all, absence makes the heart go fondo.