Pages

SOCIAL MEDIA

i hope you all had an amazing memorial day weekend! we were super busy getting ready for our vacation to florida this upcoming week! i haven't been on a trip since our honeymoon and to say i am sooooo ready to get away, is an understatement. i don't usually say stuff like this but we deserve a little getaway after the emotionally exhausting winter we had.

this shirt is my FAVVVVV for the summer. i own it in a couple colors but this one is definitely my favorite. and these shorts are mommy approved [highwaisted so they cover the mommy belly] why highwaisted pants ever went out of style is beyond my comprehension but thank goodness they are back and better than ever!

i will be showing you all our vacation via instagram so make sure you're following me [@exploratorifashion]

i know this hairstyle is kind of weird the first couple times you do it but i swear, its the best! those days when you need to wash your hair but don't feel like it, do a half up top knot and you can still wear your hair down but also have it up off your face. i have been wearing this a lot lately and i hoping more people start to do it because its super easy + mom friendly :) hope you all are enjoying your week!
xoxo -- tori

thank you all who wished me a happy first mothers day, i had the best day with my boys and my hubby + jax got me some goodies :) i am so proud to be a mom and i share this day with so many amazing moms. i hope you all had an amazing day. that being said i know this day isn't all lolli pops and unicorns for some people. some moms have passed, some moms ache for their babies who are with jesus and some women hate this day because their hearts yearn to have a baby of their own.

my heart is so sad for all those who hurt on that day. i had a cry fest on mothers day but only because i was feeling all sentimental. i was remembering the day i became a mom, the day i held jax in my arms and met him face to face. a day i will never forget, ever. but i truly believe you become a mom when you experience becoming pregnant.

that being said before jax, i had two miscarriages. one, i was almost 13 weeks, ready to share with everyone and then i felt a pain in my stomach and shortly after realizing this precious life was gone. the second, i was about 8 weeks along and found out one day totally unplanned, i was going in for a checkup with my doctor and she said "did you know you were pregnant?". i ran to my car after that appointment and called my husband squealing with delight! but then the next morning i woke up and knew it was happening again.

each time i attended my obgyn to get an ultra sound to determine if the baby wasn't there anymore i cringed. every time the screen was empty and the nurse looked at me with those sad eyes, my heart broke. they told us to wait to try again for at least a month or two. we did as we were instructed and the next month we became pregnant with Jax. my entire pregnancy i was on edge. i was stressed and scared and worried at all times. not until i was about 35 weeks did i really start to "relax" and five days later my water broke. it became the best day of my life when i got to see my baby face to face and finally know what it was like to hold my baby in my arms and kiss his sweet cheeks.

i think a lot of women are scared to talk about their journey on having a baby. i was one of these women, until i realized how common this feeling is. my opinion is every "fetus" is a baby. so whether your baby passes away at 8 weeks or 30 weeks its sad. although i am aware it is a completely different grief, it is grief and everyone handles is differently. please don't tell someone who has a miscarriage these following things because i promise it hurts them more than you know.

don't say:

"heaven needed another angel"

"you are young"

"you can always try again"

"choose joy"

"it wasn't really a baby yet"

"at least you never held the baby, thats worse"

"you weren't far along at all, don't worry about it."

i am only saying this because i know how those words sting and make you feel like this precious life doesn't matter. it does matter. every life is a miracle and every baby counts. i just wanted to share my experience with you ladies so that maybe one of you struggling with this "lonely" feeling or feeling like your feelings don't matter, they do. if you have a friend or family member who has experienced a miscarriage or infant loss please do reach out, it will help. let them know you are thinking of them by acknowledging the loss. make them a dinner or bring them a coffee. and just listen to them. they want to feel like this is something that is important because everyone deals with these things differently.

sometimes life is hard and its heart breaking and not fair. i know this too well.

today we attended a hospital in New York only to leave with a heavy heart realizing that there is NOTHING we can do for our sweet baby jax. i cried all the way home because i told my husband how much i truly love him and realizing that i might not always get to be with him. just because i am facing this disease head on, that doesn't mean i have given up faith. i STILL believe in miracles and i pray every night my son is healed. for now all i can do is keep trying to make jaxons life the best it can be and to live in everyday. i may not wear bottom mascara anymore [because lets be honest, you never know when a good cry is going to strike] and i may ask you to wash, wash, wash and wash your hands again before you even breathe near my baby, but i'm trying. its confusing and hard and i'm learning something new everyday but this life i have been given is the best. my son is incredible and just melts my ice queen heart on a daily basis. i have a husband who loves me unconditionally and a family who is so supportive. some things may really not be according to "my plan" but this is the life God chose for me. His plan is perfect and as long as i keep that tucked away into my heart and mind, everything else will be ok.

hey loves! you all know i love to share my favorite things with you + this month is no exception. i have found a few things that are so awesome + i know you will want to run out and get! i hope you all have a happy mothers day + get your mommies something great or if you're a mom that you get everything you wish for.

i also have a coupon code for you lovely ladies for the rocksbox subscription. it is a monthly jewelry subscription that is going to rock your world, seriously. you get three pieces of jewelry for $19 every month. the best part is, you can send the pieces back whenever you want or keep them for however long you want to. and with my coupon code you can get your first month FREE! go to rocksbox.com + use code "exploraTORIfashionxoxo" at check out and make all your jewelry dreams come true. you will be able to customize your pieces or have a stylist pick them for you! :) [if you have any questions please feel free to email me, but check out there website because they have ALL the info right there.] i know you will love it as much as i do!

xoxo -- tori.

the candle is the volcano candle from anthropologie that smells like the most delicious thing you will ever inhale through your noise, i promise you!

I've been going hat crazy this spring and this fedora is from anthropolgie as well and is amazing.
i love a good devotional and this "savor" devo is one every women needs to own. its quick and direct and so full of awesomeness! you need it!

for jax i am obsessed with one piece anything for him, like if one piece tank tops on babies are not the cutest things i just don't know what is. and his diapers are the ones we get delivered to our house from honest company, like why i didn't do this from the beginning i don't know. people think it is so much more expensive but my hubby and i did the math [ok, so it was just my hubby, I'm not very good at math] and you get two less diapers than buying pampers and you save time and energy + you get wipes included. so really you save and they are hella cute!

my phone case was $5 on amazon, nothing more rad than that.

these are the pieces i got in this months rocksbox and i probably wore them on rotation [or all together] longer than the month. they go with everything and i can't wait to see whats in my next box!!

happy monday beauties. wait, the weekend is seriously over? i hate that. i wish saturday and sunday could be on repeat. i love being with my two boys and enjoying time together. jax is getting so big and we discovered he had two teeth this weekend! woohoo! ok, well onto this outfit... its something i wore over the weekend and will definitely be over-wearing this spring. it was pretty warm this day but there was still a little breeze so i paired this amazing shirt with a pair of boyfriend shorts and booties. boyfriend shorts are the perfect shorts for moms and for the ladies who don't like to wear short shorts with their bums hanging out [aka, me]. i cannot stand when my shorts are riding up in places they shouldn't be, like lets be real, nobody wants to see that and its wicked uncomfortable! [sorry not sorry] i hope you guys had a fabulous weekend and that you have a great monday!

so i am super close with my sisters like they are my two best friends since i can even remember. family is so important to me and i always want Jax to remember seeing his cousins and aunties + all the other fam bam too. my nieces are just the cutest little loves and I'm obsessed with them like they were my own {one is pictured above giving me a flower, like does is get any cuter?} the point of this rambling on about my family is just to let you guys see me in my "element" with some of the people who make me smile the most! i hope you all enjoy your weekend and spend time with people who make you happy. whether that is family, friends or a significant other i hope you all have people around you who make you smile, life is too short to be anything but happy!