Question

How do I save money, when I'm already living paycheck to paycheck??? Am I bound to be a bad mommy??

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I'm 16 weeks and still living at home with my parents, my boyfriend with his. We want to move out before the baby is born in May, but with our financial situation, he's jobless not getting unemployment, and I'm just about done with my seasonal job. I have bills and have to buy my own food and clothes, my parents only provide a room for me to sleep in. How do we save money we barely have in the first place to move out and be good parents? I don't want to be living with either of our parents when the baby comes, but a part of me feels that's what will happen and it makes me feel like a bad mother that I can't even provide for myself...how am I going to provide for a baby when he/she gets here???

Mom Answers

Honey let me tell you something I feel your heart and shake your self shake your self you are a Woman and you have to do what you have to do i don't know your talents or what you can do. But honey your not bound to be a bad mother look at it as a set up to be the best mom and yes your bills are going to get more expensive.
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Crystal Hale
Blessing to you and yours

Honestly, from what you described, you may be better off to stay with your parents. Don't count on your boyfriend to provide. Do what you can to provide a stable life for your baby, even if that means being grateful for 'just a room to sleep in'. It's very hard to live on your own, it's going to cost you a lot of money - even if you weren't expecting a child. It's not as glamorous as you may think. Speak with a social worker, they can help you by cluing you in to resources and options that you may not be aware of. It's very important that plan where every dollar goes. You need to think of your baby first, and then yourself. Wishing the best for you!

What you do is, whenever you get some money, whether it's from a job or debt repayment or whatever, you take 20% of that and put it in your savings. Do this BEFORE you pay any bills. You live off the 80% that's left. Do not TOUCH that savings until it's a DIRE emergency (like your car breaks down and you need it for work). This should give you one years' living expenses and enough to move out on. Want to know how to live on less? Don't buy clothes. I'll bet anything you have enough to get through a year without buying a single thing-- yes, even if you're PG. Don't buy a thing for the baby unlessit's under $1 (yes, even diapers. You can do it if you shop sales and use coupone).

What a tough time. Maybe you could sit down with your parents and discuss some ways that you can contribute to the household since they are helping you with shelter and food. Maybe you can also work out a plan where they can help you save even more, maybe they have odd jobs or know people with odd jobs. If you have a job, that means you have some skills! Figure out the "next step" in adding to those skills, using them to make money, or moving up the ladder. If there is a pregnancy resource center near you, visit them. As someone told me - "You have to imagine yourself on a path." You can do it, and you will see when your baby gets here that all really will be OK. Good luck!

It wont always be this way. It will take discipline and hard work but you guys can do it. Its not a bad thing to be living with your parents when the baby comes. It may be a good thing. You are going to need a lot of support those first few months. You can't really control if your boyfriend has a job or how he spends his money but you can get a job and save. Not having a lot of money or your own place does not make you a bad parent. But you can make good financial choices from this point on and do whats best for you and your baby.

Be practical, even if it's not the fun answer... As others have said, check out Dave Ramsey - he's got good advice! Also, create a budget - not just a "here's how much I've spent this month", but a budget where you set how much you ARE going to spend, and only spend that. (I use the software from www.youneedabudget.com, which costs $$, but it's been completely worth it for me!) Cut out any non-essentials, find things to sell of yours, find other ways to earn money (I do online surveys that earn me GCs to various stores). Every time you feel the "need" to buy something, think, "By buying this, I'm setting back my ability to move out/feed & clothe my child." If you think of it that way, I can almost guarantee that you'll put the item back.
(I'm older & married, but went through a point for almost two years where both DH and I were unemployed, DH was on disability, and we still had a mortgage & bills to pay...)

Young people today can do a lot to save money, but it's not easy or fun, and it's certainly not glamorous. Look at your expenses, and try to cut back on all of them, in any way possible. Do your parents provide you a vehicle? If you can save on gas money, walk places if you can. If you have a car of your own, can you get cheaper car insruance? Shop around. Look at your cell phone - are you spending lots of money for a smartphone? once your contract is up, drop it and try to use cheaper prepaid phones for a while.( you can live without all the fancy gadgets!) Use coupons at the grocery store and eat what you have at home instead of eating out. Don't go to the movies. Redbox is $1. Try that. Secondhand clothes are a great option. Again, not glamorous, but you will save bundles. Only buy things when you absolutely need them. Put the money you have left over into savings and don't touch it. When you move out, lots of apartments need a deposit of some kind, and you will need that check right then. By all means....you and your boyfriend need to work!! Keep applying for things. No matter how many times you are turned down. Even if it's McDonald's. Money is money and you two aren't in a position where you can be picky about what jobs you want. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you will have to work hard and give up a lot of your happiness to provide for this baby! That's why it's best to abstain from sex when you're young! I hope you learned that lesson. Good luck to you.

I am also a big Dave Ramsey fan! Look for his book at the library called, The Total Money Makeover. Now is a great time to set some financial goals. Have your boyfriend read the book too and talk about your options together. When my husband and I had our first child we were both in college and living off of student loans and part time jobs. Thank goodness WIC gave us food! But we have always stuck to a budget and we have always had financial goals. It is hard work to get ahead, and it takes a lot of self control, but it is definitely possible and in the end it is worth it!

check out dave ramsey online and get yourself on a budget. Its not the end of the world if you need to stay at home with your baby. Is your BF looking for a job? You can do this. Just focus on creating income and taking care of the little on growing inside of you for the next 6 mos. Save your money, don't spend anything that is not an absolute necessity. Buy second hand items, don't go out to eat, etc.

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