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The Phantom Affairs

2:47 PM

I have been blamed and accused for plenty of things in the past but never really something so significant as to attack my character. I have cheated once in my life while being in a committed relationship with another ex-girlfriend - I had been cheated on as well even before that. That fact I can admit without a second thought because I have always been honest, especially when it came to my significant others. I cared too much to hide anything from anyone. As we all know, we do really silly and immature things while we were young and I am glad to say that "cheating" episode happened while I was young. That is still not an excuse. Cheating is simply wrong, ladies and gentleman; I don't care who you are.

With that said, not one of my ex-girlfriends would ever accuse me of lying to them or accuse me of having an affair with a married woman (or women). It is somewhat insulting yet amusing as I have been indirectly (or directly, depends how you see it) accused of having affairs with married women. Is it my fault that older women find me attractive? Of course not, but this does not automatically qualify me as a 'home-wrecker'. I have too much respect for the bond between a man and a woman. It does not matter if that woman is having a turbulent relationship with her husband or that she's going through a divorce. It is not a good idea to be involved with a woman who is in some shape or form still involved with her husband or soon to be ex-husband.

I'm single, yes. Am I attractive? I believe so, even though I do know there are better looking lads out there. Am I charming? The ladies have led me to believe so from their own first hand accounts. Of all these various reasons or characteristics, nothing in this world would posses me to have an affair with a married woman. Anyone has the ability to ask any of the females in my life - with my ex-girlfriends included - if I am nearly capable of doing something that drastic. They will admit to you that I am a gentleman. My reputation is at such a level not a single person (both male and female) can ever imagine me having an actual physical affair with a married woman. I can also admit I have been intimate with three of my ex-girlfriends, whom I have had a solid committed relationship with, to think I would have a 'one-night stand' is unimaginable. What would posses a certain person to get the ignorant idea in his or her head that I would be involved in such an act? Bitterness? Envy of specific individuals in their lives? Low self-esteem? The list goes on.

My concern is not of the behavior of this accuser but the importance of his or her reputation to the rest of the world. When the majority rules to my favor with valid reasoning, what makes you think you are above me by laying down such accusations? The accuser, I'm sure, is reading this post. Don't worry sir or madame, you are not that important to my global audience that they would know who you are and what your name is. I would dare not to spread slander about someone who is clearly delusional out in public. I have class, I am above such petty behavior and self-involved people. The record is now clear. To the rest of you, do the same and I assure you those who have nothing better to do but act as if they are still in high school will fade into the distance...

- Gentleman Tip of the Day -

Know your signs because women love to send a large amount of mixed signals, gentlemen. If you want to avoid embarrassing yourself, it's important to know the signs they tend to give off. Having the upper-hand is very important, take a step back. Remember, expect nothing and have pure intentions. It's better to befriend her rather than trying to dive right into her pants. This is a lesson learned by a man who is genuinely interested in a woman. To avoid the entire "signs" episode, you simply have to put yourself in a position to never having to deal with those signs. The thing is she (whoever she is) already knows you are interested in her. It's not that difficult or complex to see a man is interested in a certain woman. Women love to keep you at the edge of your seat but even then, subconsciously they are welcoming you to get closer to them. Is closer good? There is no right or wrong answer to that, especially when you can't read their signals from the start. Always remember even in this type of situation, never expect anything of your pursuit of this woman so you will never be left with disappointment. It's easier to be friends with her and finding out things that way gradually. You have to be patient; you must learn to do things smoothly. Play that role of the "smooth criminal" (like in my earlier post) to get to the end of the tunnel. The outcomes are simple, yes, she is interested in you or she isn't. If she isn't interested in you, there is nothing to it and you walk away with that swagger as if nothing negative came out of that pursuit. If she is interested, well, you know what to do...just don't mess it up, she's probably a keeper.

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