Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Show & Tell, Version 5.1

I suspect that we've done over 100 art shows by now. I don't want to sit down and count them up because I fear the actual number would make me feel exhausted. The shows are a lot of work, but that's how we earn our living. Plus, we never fail to get some funny, um, morsels dropped on us by customers flying past. Some things overheard at recent art shows...

"Did you take all these," he asks. Yes sir, I answer. "I hate you," he says.

"You should call that one, 'Floss Daily.' "

He turns to his female companion, "This is what I see when you smile, sweetie." Then he sheepishly whispers to Tracy, "She says way worse things to me."

"So you just go out and sit there and wait to take pictures of animals that go by? " she asks. Yeah, I answer, something like that.

She's incredulous, "So did you actually get that close to grizzly bears?" No, I answer. Those are black bears.

She shows her friend "Huckleberry Heart," and her friend replies, "Yum!" Then her friend shows her "Elk Mist," and she replies, "Yum!" Only in Montana - make that, only in Montana and Idaho.

She asks, "Do you have family?" I have a wife and two dogs who depend on me. "Hmm, I figured you for a bachelor." Nope. But my wife does encourage me to go out alone at night in prime grizzly bear habitat.

He asks Tracy, "Is your husband a Star Trek fan? That ["Harrier Stare" below] looks like a Romulan Bird-of-Prey." Just part of my never-ending battle with Klingons...

Two "Birds of Prey," one alien and one native.

"I gave it ["Peaceful Lamb] to a woman with breast cancer," a return customer explains. "I put it in with a fake boob."

She and her girlfriend are looking at "Mountain Matriarch," a photo of a black bear sow with three cubs in three different colors. She turns and tells her friend, "Looks like that momma's been messing around."

After looking at the photos in my booth he tells me, "Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you." I have no idea what he was refering to in the booth, but I certainly know the feeling. I think the phrase pretty much sums up our 2011 show season.