The fat, Afrikaner, make-up put on with a cement mixer, hair-do like a bulldog’s arse, manager of the Cat Nap Guest House in Springbok for her inability to take a booking 3 whole weeks in advance. Moan about the check in time, lie about her presence prior to us checking in and then only say that we had booked one night when two were requested. I hope you catch the clap from a toilet seat and you choke on some worm infested biltong again. Congratulations, your golden Oscar is in the post.

We’ve also added some additional categories for those that were worthy of such an acolade.

They are:

Toughest Day : 8th April 2009, Butare, Rwanda after visiting a genocide memorial. (I talk about it HERE)

Most adventerous moment: Boarding a tug boat to travel down Lake Tanganyika en-route to Kigoma, Tanzania

The 5 best highlights (in no particular order):

1. Getting up close and personal with 5 Silverbacks in Parc National de Volcans, Rwanda
2. Being pamered in Madikwe Safari Lodge, South Africa
3. Juming out of a dhow, after spotting Dolphins, onto the best beach in Africa. Praia de Chocas, Mozambique
4. Standing on the precipace of the plateau in Dogon Country, Mali
5. Giggling at the confluence of the Atlantic and Indian Ocean’s at the southern most tip of Africa

From Burkina Faso’s, gloriously named, Ouagadougou (waga doo goo) and Po to Ghana’s Bolgatanga and Kumasi. Ouaga was, for me, a strange town. We were there for the end of Ramadan which was a blessing and a curse. There was a huge amount of hussle and bussle right up to the last day fo Ramadan , buying food, goats chickens, and whatnot. Then, nothing. Nobody. And nothing going on. The whole city felt deserted apart from the odd street seller. The 3 days celebration at the end of Ramadan causing all Muslims to travel and be with their family. The city really felt ghost like ! We sorted out Ghana visas quickly and left Quaga within a couple of days. Po being next up for the chop.

Po is really just a transport town. Being the last stop before Ghana everything there feels transient. Everything and everybody coming and going, including us. BUT, we stayed for a few days as the people there were particularly cool and very welcoming. The day after arriving we ventured to a small town called Tiebele and in particular the Chiefs Palace. A village made of mud. Huts built in the shape of the figure “8” and housing all of the chiefs family, namely his many wives….Brave soul ! This place was really caught in time. Many hundreds of years old and, essentially, still there. An impressive place but full of a mysterious religion called “Animism”. Everything from the shape of the buildings to the colours and shapes painted on them meant something. Nothing was there by accident. Hard to describe really…!

Tiebele - Chiefs Palace

Once we crossed the boarder into Ghana we hit Bolgatanga. Again, just another transport town but now, as Ghana is not as poor as Burkina, with money. A notable difference. We arranged a trip into Tongo and Bongo. More of the Tiebele huts but no where near as ornate. There was one massive difference with Tongo though, and that was the sacraficial tables and shrines. We were required to go to the shrine topless ….!!! Nedless to say Molly didn’t. I did (side belly and all) to witness various amounts of decaying meat, bone, rope ( used to haul the animals up the cliff face to be slaughtered and then offered to the spirits), skulls, bows and arrows and many burly black fellas (there for the hauling). It was an appaling place with a pungent smell of death. And in the middle of it all a man. Praying to the spirits who had just despatched a chicken. Then, me. The white man there to view it all. It was al very odd and the explanation didn’t help and it was given in pidgen english! After the viewing we moved out to the precipas of the shrine for Molly to take a pic. It look like something outta Lord of the Flies. A pic I will not post I’m afraid….

Mali was a good ginch and the more rural we got the better it got. Food was good and got even better as my new favourite, Capataine a la Bamkoise (fish with banana and tomato sauce), was had in copious amounts. The Niger river was a riot of colour at sunset and the trip up to Segou Koro (old Segou) was the muts nuts. The 15km trp up the Niger river was leisurely on a large pinasse with our new guide and friend, Vieux. A while ago someone asked me “Why travel in Africa?”. It was a simple answer; Big Sky! And the trip on the Niger River reaffirmed this for me.

Our Pinasse on the Niger

Segou we instantly loved. With its wide dusty streets, good food, friendly laidback people and COLD BEER !!
Its street artizans were also a pleasure to deal with. Mostly Tuareg with kind chisled faces, softly spoken and will always welcome you into their shop / tent for a cup of “African Tea”. After promising Baco I’d drop into his shop for tea he offered to show me the basics of playing the drum. I accepted, drank tea, ate biscuits and banged my fingers, in the darkness, on a very ornate drum, until they were a tingle with pins and needles. I’ll look forward to seeing them again in February for the Festival of the Niger next year. Strangely, I found that Yves Saint Laurent had moved his business to just around the corner…

YSL

We had a bit of trouble leaving the next day and a bit of a frakah at the bus station. It probably looked worse than it actually was as we have found that everyone likes to get involved in a good ol’ arguement! So, the next day we hit Bobo Dioulasso in Burkina Faso instead of hitting Sikasso on the Mali border as planned. Bobo, the second biggest town in Burkina Faso was busy enough. And we found the Hotel L’Auberge easily. Swimming pool etc was available and dually used! When we resolved to go out that night we were highly surprised to find our mates from Germany, Yves and Thomas, walk through the door for a frosty one. I suppose this is bound to happen!!! Banfora was next on the hit list as there were waterfalls and a nice lake with Hippo’s there. We booked the tickets and headed off 3 days after checking in…