Friday, December 08, 2006

I said relationship is about prioritizing. Always prioritize the one you love. I’ve been thinking & would like to add one more thing.

It’s ‘compromising’.

You want the person you love to compromise. On the way you act, the way you work or the person you work with. You want the person who loves you to compromise. On the way you talk or the things you joked about. You want your lover to compromise.

On YOU.

Tapi yang sering terjadi mau ngajak kompromi, yang ada malah kesannya maksa. Maksa supaya pasangan kamu mau nerima & ngerti, that this is the right way to go. That this is the right way to act, especially towards the things he/she despises. Because you’re so sure that compromising is good for him/her. That life is better that (read: your) way. But let’s be honest. Gut-wrenching honest. You know that mostly, because it’s best for YOU.

Well, this is not the kind of compromising I’m talking about. Karena yang aku maksud adalah saling kompromi. 2 arah. Kompromi yang menguntungkan dua-duanya. Kompromi yang bikin kedua belah pihak ngerasa nyaman & secure. Coz I think insecurity is a very dangerous thing. Ngeliat pasangan kamu sepertinya santai & asik-asik aja ngga berarti everything is okay. You have to understand that relationship is like putting two different souls in one body. You can’t expect your spouse to be YOU. Who thinks the way you think. Acts the way you act. Or takes things the way you take. Some people just couldn’t say “Shit happens!” from the bottom of their hearts. On the other side, some people just couldn’t get a grip, why is it sooo hard to let something/one go. Some say you don’t use your brain. Others say you simply don’t have a heart. I think, basically, you have to understand. You have to be WILLING to understand.

Begitupun sebaliknya. Saatnya untuk nanya ke diri sendiri. Udah segimana hebatnya pengertian & ‘kompromian’ kamu ke pasangan. Have you been compromising on him/her for being jealous, instead of forcing him/her for not being jealous? Have you been compromising on his/her interests, instead of trying to 'convert' him/her to your interests? Instead of ‘accusing’ him/her for being such an annoying spouse, have you ever think why that particular ‘problem happened in the first place? Have you ever think that mainly, it’s because of YOU?

If you think you have & you’re THAT good, please double-check it to him/her. You might be surprised. Good luck.