Treasures: Planning A Wedding Not An Easy Fete

I have discovered it is much easier to decide to get married than it is to actually do it.

I have discovered it is much easier to decide to get married than it is to actually do it.

I said “yes” to the most patient, loving man almost a year ago. But if I thought he was patient then, he must be close to sainthood now. I’m certain he’s wondered on more than one occassion if we would ever actually go through with the deal.

It’s not that we haven’t tried. We come up with dates, only to have one obstacle or another interfere with our plan. It makes me remember why a different me at a different time in a different life thought eloping was a good idea.

Unfortunately, I remember all too well the look of disbelief from my best friend and the sadness from important people and the fact that Mother didn’t speak to me for almost six weeks. Eloping is completely out of the question.

So after discussions and calendar-checking and more discussions and, well, almost an entire calendar year, we (meaning I, because he keeps saying he’ll marry me today, no matter what day it is) finally set a date for our big day.

And then I got all caught up in at least another dozen projects, and quickly put the wedding at the bottom of the list.

Wednesday, I had a mini meltdown when I realized the wedding is just slightly more than four months — and I have done absolutely nothing.

I panicked. I almost cried. I snapped just a little.

My fiancé calmed me, reminded me we have actually accomplished some things (I have a dress; we have a venue; and we’ve set the date.) and vowed to help me mark one thing off our list each week until the list is complete.

While the smart thing to do would be to actually make that list, I just continue to sit here a little dazed and overwhelmed about what all needs to be done for our “simple, nice” wedding.

Several months ago, I decided I wanted a popcorn bar at the reception. I’ve seen candy bars at weddings, but we have this whole Old Hollywood theme going. Popcorn makes much more sense.

And we happen to have this great little place in Fort Smith — Popped Popcorn Co. — that has a myriad of flavors. I could just envision what a fun addition this would be.

I ordered 100 small white popcorn boxes and thought I would design and make a sticker that could go on the front of each box with something cute like “Happily Ever After” and the date. I thought about how I would set up the bar, but that was the extent of my planning.

When my fiancé said we should do something this week, we chose to take care of the popcorn. We asked questions. We sampled flavors. We thought things out and decided we needed sweet, savory and spicy. And we made our selections.

And you know what? It was fun. It was easy. And hopefully, those moments will be a memory I cherish for years to come.

It makes the idea of marking the next thing off the list a little exciting and the thought of how long the list is a lot less daunting.

Then, just as I was wrapping my head around making that list, my daughter and I had the opportunity to spend some time with our friends Miles and Luann and their children as they celebrated Miles’ mother’s birthday.

I had just intended to pick up my daughter when I stopped by Mrs. Williams’ house last night. But Miles and Luann, their children, Miles’ brother and mother and my daughter were all enjoying such a lovely evening (and eating a delicious cake) that I just had to join them.

We sat there and shared stories and laughed and teased, and my heart swelled and tension and anxiety drained from my body.

I watched Luann and Miles and knew exactly why I want to marry that patient, loving man. I want what they have.

Yes, I want the beautiful ceremony, fun celebration and delicious cake, and oh yeah, the popcorn. But what I really want is the family we will create. And for that — I’d marry him today.

Tina Dale is the features editor for the Times Record. Email: tdale@swtimes.com.

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