ZOMBIES, NUDE NUNS, SAMURAIS, AND SPEAKMAN

THIS WEEK ON THE WALL!

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–DG PICK OF THE WEEK–

Out of all the sub-genres beneath the horror label, zombies are the hands down favorite of The Wall. While the past few years have been a boon for lovers of the undead, we have seen a lot of crap (I’m looking at you RESIDENT EVIL) and not enough cool stuff (THE DEAD). Too many people picking up a camera and grabbing some cash to turn a quick buck before ever thinking about stories. Zombies have been hitting the theaters since the 1930s. We have seen the idea move from voodoo-enslavement to the Romero inspired zombie we see today. Along the way however, they ceased to be scary. Instead, they became a prop for action scenes.

THE DEAD set out to make zombies scary again… and they succeeded. This is a stunning and horrific film set against the barren landscapes of Africa which adds to the authentic feel of the film. You are going to dig this, Bastards! Look for a full review later this week but in the meantime, pick this bad boy up.

The Wall hasn’t had a chance to catch this flick but judging by the skinny… we’re in!

Upon taking her vows to become a nun, Sister Sarah is abused, brainwashed and drugged into submission by the corrupt clergy. On the verge of death from a lethal dose of drugs, Sister Sarah receives a message from GOD telling her to take vengeance on all those who did her wrong. Armed with God’s will and an arsenal of big guns, she dispenses Judgment Day on her former tormentors. When the church hires the merciless motorcycle gang the “Los Muertos” to track down and kill her they soon realize that this SISTER IS ONE BAD MOTHER!

This was going to launch Jeff Speakman into the action stratosphere… it didn’t, but it should have. Speakman is fast, tough, and mean. He had all the cool he needed but he just never caught on. This is an above average white-fu flick.

Clocking in at 105min this flick overstays its welcome, but damn this is a trippy joint. I feel obligated to warn you though that this has a lot of ugly people bumping dirty; ugly, hairy, sweaty people. You have been warned. This pressing is limited to 500 prints so get on it.

The Wall is a HUGE samurai nerd and someone over at Criterion is as well because they go full-tilt when they get a title with swordplay. This is one of the best films of the genre getting the first class treatment from the highfalutin purveyors of cinematic crack. Dig that cover art, Bastards! Fucking flawless.

We haven’t seen this yet but we have the director lined up for a future Featured Filmmaker spot. Here’s the skinny on the flick:

On the outside Adam appears to be a normal teenager… but between the past traumas he has suffered and the gory films he watches, the lines between real and pretend have disappeared. Adam’s mind has been so rotted that he has transformed into a deranged killer!

DEAD SNOW it ain’t. The outline for this flick is cooler than the film itself but it still manages to deliver the goods, just not as consistently as it should.

The Wall has no idea what the fuck this flick is but it has Danny Trejo and Mark Borchardt (AMERICAN MOVIE) so we’re in.

Hard-boiled and tough as nails. If you dug the first film in this series, then get ready because ENEMY WITHIN is even better. The story is more involved, the action is faster, and the directing in general is more competent. The Wall looks forward to getting eyeballs on this again.

This is a very unsettling film, there is a constant stream of insanity that runs throughout, and it’s brilliant. This just missed a spot on DG’s Top 10 list but after watching it again it deserved to be there.

The first HUMAN CENTIPEDE is a sick and twisted flick that delivered a pretty unique experience, the second one though is just boring as hell.

That’s it for this week, Bastards.

We’re back next week with: MEATBALLS (Blu), BONG OF THE DEAD, and more.