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What's my name, fool?

I’m the Janel. I’ve recently entered adulthood and it appears there’s no turning back. I used to have interests and hobbies… and then I had kids. I'm married to a man that knows how to push my buttons in ways both good and bad. We're blessed with four incredible children and a dog that we couldn't give away if we tried. I have a degree but I don’t have a job; I can be difficult and overly emotional. I like cheese, breakfast at all hours of the day, Swatch watches, baseball, fast cars, Weezer and painting my toenails. I’m not so great at making decisions, unless they’re for other people. I fall going up the stairs far more than I ever fall going down the stairs. I drink iced coffee but I can’t stand hot coffee. If I don’t know the answer to a question, I might just make up the answer as I go – and you’ll never be able to tell the difference. I always screen my calls. I prefer to text. I have über-strong thumbs but I’ll never win a thumb war. I think dolphins are way overrated. I’m not perfect but I like to pretend I am. You’ve been warned; read on at your own risk.