By some accounts the verified world record holder for old age was a French woman who lived to be 122 years, 164 days (Jeanne Calmut, 1875-1997). Not verified were her last words: “Je suis si fatigue’”---French for “Man, am I pooped.”

122 years (and 164 days) is a long run. That’s older than some Hostess Twinkies. But just like every other “oldest living person in the world” before her, Jeanne’s reign finally ended. There is no precedent for anyone regaining the title.

Of all the records achieved by humans, ‘oldest person’ might be the hardest to train for. And even then, once you finally made it, anyone you might really want to impress wouldn’t be around.

You’d show up for your 100th high school reunion---and be the only one there. That means you’d be stuck paying for the entire keg. Plus, you’d have to dance with yourself.