My ex and I had regular discussions (read: arguments) about me not making enough time for him, and being more interested in the gym than in hanging out.

(Picture: Getty/MylesGoode

Fair enough.

If you’re used to seeing someone four times a week and suddenly find yourself barely seeing them just once, then that’s bound to feel uncomfortable. Even the coldest of fish would feel a bit rejected.

And that produced a lot of guilt on my behalf because of course, I didn’t mean for him to feel that way.

I wanted to maintain the amount of time we spent together but training hard can be antisocial. All you want to do is go home, get in the bath and go to bed – not schlep round to your boyfriend’s house with your dirty gym kit.

Clearly, loads of people manage to juggle both – just not me. I get easily overwhelmed which means I find it difficult to give my full attention to lots of different things.

I wonder how many other gym-goers, runners, triathletes and cross-fitters find themselves looking to date people within their classes, gyms and sports because of the distinct time pressures and lifestyles they’ve adopted.

They want to date someone who they’ll see regularly. If you’re exercising every night, it might be quite nice to do it in the same place as the bloke you’re seeing… so that you actually get to see them.

Training for an endurance event is hard, and it’s time-consuming, but it doesn’t last forever (unless you’re dating a madman like Ross Edgley who does triathlons with trees strapped to his back – in which case you’d probably have to settle in for a continuous cycle of insane training).

Those evenings that would have previously been spent down the pub or watching Netflix with my boyfriend became PT sessions down the gym or 10k jogs. Saturdays became reserved for Body Attack classes while Sunday mornings were reserved for long runs.

That, coupled with minimal alcohol consumption and a lean diet meant that it became a bit harder to arrange meeting up for a casual drink or dinner.

Of course, some people find their relationships improving when they get stuck into training.

He basically just picked up his trainers one day having had enough of being unhealthy and has now run three marathons. While not as extreme, Charis is an active member of her local women’s running group where she’s a run leader.

Lucy also tells Metro.co.uk that for her, training has only improved her relationship.

‘Personally, I think it benefits my relationship. My partner and I gain a lot from going to the gym/training together regularly.

‘It adds a sense of achievement and productivity to our time together and leaves us feeling motivated by and proud of each other.’

And that’s how I’d hoped it would be for me. My ex is very fit – a keen footballer and regular gym goer. And in fairness, we have been to the gym together before, but anytime I asked if he wanted to come to for a run, he declined.

Understandable.

Not everyone wants to jog around London during their free time – particularly if they’ve gymmed during the week. But when you’re short on time anyway, working out together can be the easiest way to bond.

I guess it depends on how smoothly things are going before you change your training routine.

All you have to do is Google ‘marathon training ruined my relationship’ to find hundreds of articles from people who have either had their relationships destroyed or are sharing how to avoid letting those 26 miles cause full marriage meltdown.

For a while, I had anxiety dreams every night, unable to pinpoint the precise trigger. And the day that I was shafted, the dreams ceased. No word of a lie.

(Picture: Deirdre Spain/metro.co.uk)

Of course, marathon training wasn’t the sole bone of contention in the relationship, but it somehow managed to crystallise everything.

According to psychologist and fitness coach Pete Simon, there’s a high divorce rate in triathlon/endurance sports for just that reason.

When it comes to things like Ironman challenges and ultra-marathons, there’s a risk of committing what he calls ‘Divorce by Triathlon’.

‘Much like “Suicide by Cop”, the individual begins to cause a situation in their relationship with their significant other that forces the desired result. In this case, that result is divorce,’ he writes.

‘When you have an athlete training especially for Ironman distances it is not uncommon for them to put in 15-20 hours of training a week for months on end. This puts a great amount of stress on that person’s spouse especially if they have kids and a job on top of everything else.

‘Usually, the spouse tolerates this for the race, the triathlete finishes the race, calls themselves an “Ironman”, and everyone goes back to life as usual. However, some don’t stop there. They find that this lifestyle is quite nice and decide to continue to race and train for future Ironman events. We are entering into a new realm, I believe. This is no longer a one-time event but a lifestyle change. Enter “Divorce by Triathlon”.

‘Now there is no end in sight to the individual’s training, racing, and time away from their “old” life. Most spouses tolerate this depending on their ability, but ultimately the end result is “Divorce by Triathlon”.

‘The non-competing spouse becomes frustrated, and problems begin. In my opinion, it is not fair or reasonable to expect this from one’s spouse. I know because I did it and have come to realise that it wasn’t worth it.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Now that is extreme – I’m certainly not doing an Ironman (would definitely die), and I’m not married. But the takeaway is the same. Maybe some of us use our training as a way of getting out of situations subconsciously.

For those of us who find ourselves back being single just a month before the big day, it’s a confusing period. There’s not enough time to ruminate on the end of the relationship, and there’s no energy to actively try to get them back or to start dating afresh.

But at least there’s a solid period just to focus on ourselves.

And let’s face it, at least we’re in bloody good shape when the time comes for returning to the dating world.