Universal Halloween Horror Nights

Halloween is 11 days away! What the hell happened to September and October? Ready or not, we leave for our annual Halloween trip to Orlando in 3 days, maybe 4 if we decide to put together some extra costume props. Between costume anxiety, travel prep, a flu shot today, and a busy local Homecoming week for Landon, I feel like Rob Zombie’s “Living Dead Girl”. So this will kind of be a Halloween free for all. My brain is like a bag of crazy cats right now. Or bag of crazy dicks. Or whatever that saying is. One of my three regular readers can let me know.

The kids and E revolted on me this year and said no makeup, they wanted “easy” costumes to wear to Disney World’s Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party, which we’ll attend the night of October 29th. I don’t know what they all were bitching about because last year’s costumes were about as no fuss as you can get.

Okay, 4 hours total of makeup and 7 inch monster boots might have been a bit much. It still made the most epic Christmas card photo ever.

A few people know what we are dressing up as this year, most people don’t. I’ll post a picture on Facebook and Twitter (again on October 29th), so be on the lookout for it.

I have extreme anxiety about this year’s costumes because I have gained some weight in the past year but it is what it is. If you’re watching CNN late next week and hear about an arrest made at Walt Disney World, though, that will be me because if one little snot nosed Cheerio muncher asks “Mommy, why is (insert character name here) fat?”, I’m going to lose my shit.

I had to take my very form fitting costume into the Vietnamese tailors for a little fix last week. You may recall how that went last year. It went really well this year, meaning I didn’t get laughed at in a different language. I guess “normal” costumes give you a lot more leeway with Vietnamese tailors than star spangled rock leotards do.

Halloween in Orlando is like nothing else and I’m not the only one who thinks so. Horror Nights Orlando has been named the best Halloween event in the world the past 7 years by the people over at The Golden Ticket Awards. Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party is the perfect place to go if you have younger children. It is also the only amusement park which allows costumes and that’s one of the reasons this party has become a tradition for us. Here’s a little inside look at both of this year’s events.

I was telling E and Gracie that in the second room in the HHN 25 Years Of Mayhem And Monsters House, if you enter chanting “Bear! Bear! Bear!”, the infamous HHN bear would make an appearance. Gracie thought for a moment and then said, “Like… a real bear?” This is my National Honor Society student, y’all. I told her, “Yeah, Universal got sick of crap being said about the house not being scary enough so they said ‘Oh, it isn’t scary enough? Screw you, we’ll put a live bear in there. See how you like that, suckers!’ Yes, I really said it like that because Gracie was in the room but y’all know what I really said in my head.

I hope your week is going well! I’ll leave you with “Living Dead Girl”, which also happens to be one of my most favorite Halloween songs.