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10/03/2011

Assassination Games (2011)

Assassination Games (2011)-* *

AKA: Weapon

Directed by: Ernie Barbarash

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme and Scott Adkins

"If I don't feel, am I really alive?"

Vincent Brazil (Van Damme) is a
rather stoic hitman. Roland Flint (Adkins) is also a hitman. Both men
have as their latest target one Polo (Kaye), a ruthless murderer,
torturer and drug runner. Naturally, at first Flint and Roland don’t get
along, but they come together because of their common goal of killing
Polo. Both have different reasons for wanting this: Brazil’s is pure
business, but Flint has much more personal motivations. Who will win the
ASSASSINATION GAMES?

We really, really wanted to like this
movie. We gave it a ton of slack. We had high hopes. But the simple fact
is, unfortunately, Assassination Games just isn’t that great. It’s not
offensively BAD per se, but it’s so unbelievably cliched, and is so
predictable, and without so much as a wink to the audience, it grates on
the viewer. If there
isn’t one speck of originality, and there are cliches in EVERY scene,
and it’s totally paint by numbers, that’s one thing. But the movie takes
itself so seriously, you have to wonder if the filmmakers knew just how
hugely cliched it was, or if they actually thought it was original. In
fact, in one scene alone, they manage to fit in three classic cliches:
“He’s the best”, “No loose ends”, and “No more mistakes”. I would say
they were doing it to save time, but this movie is overlong, so it can’t
be that.

To be fair, there are some cool moments, which include
the “Auto-gun” thingy (not to be confused with the President’s
Auto-pen, who I’m told is mounting an election bid in 2012), and Scott
Adkins gives an admirably non-phoned-in performance, but the movie has
that modern, washed-out, green look that so many movies have had in the
2000’s. That in itself is an irritating cliche, as if normal film
doesn’t exist. And
when it’s announced on screen in the beginning of the movie,
“Bucharest, Romania”, we thought, “do they even have to say this any
more?” Isn’t it just kind of assumed at this point?

Plus there
are some stupid CGI gun muzzle flashes, as if THEY didn’t exist prior to
2011. Is it really easier to do it that way? Do they think audiences
like seeing Playstation 1-style graphics horribly mutilated into a piece
of film? Why is that somehow BETTER? Can anyone answer this?

What’s
funny is Van Damme is so Damme wooden in this movie, he makes Don "The
Dragon" Wilson look like Klaus Kinski. But Van Damme was a producer on
this film, and usually in his co-produced movies he cares, so it can’t
be a matter of not caring, it’s just a hilarious choice of woodenness.
The power team of Adkins and Van Damme is out in force once again after
the far superior The Shepherd (2008), and if you have to see one Van
Damme/Adkins team-up, that would be the
one. Interestingly, in The Shepherd, Van Damme has a pet bunny, and in
Assassination Games, he has a pet turtle. Moving on...

I’m
surprised it took us to this point in the review to mention this, as
it’s pretty important, as well as evident, but this movie is pretty much
a carbon copy of The Mechanic (2011) with Statham. We can’t list all
the similarities here for space reasons, but let’s just say, if you do a
double feature, watch the Mechanic first. You may get a feeling of Deja
Van Vu...

As much as we wish it could go in the Van Damme win
pile, sadly it cannot. Adkins tries hard to rescue the sinking ship, but
he can’t. Only Van Damme or Adkins fans should play this Game.

Sounds like this one should be passed up. I'd like to see Van Damme return to the B-level greatness of Hard Target. He hasn't been the same ass kicking mulleted hero since even though he sported one in Timecop. Kind of hard to follow up the greatness of Hard Target though IMO.

Venom: We are not anti-cliche, but in this movie it is just unbearable, it needed more twists instead of the basic storytelling.

The Mechanic remake was a lot better than this.

MarkusWelby1: We completely agree! Van Damme has never been the same after the cut the mullet. His newer output isn't all bad however. We have reviews coming for The Shepherd and Universal Solider: Regeneration which are good newer Van Dammes.

Well that's how I felt about Drive, every critic was practically orgasming over how great it was, and I went in really wanting to love it, but I just wasn't all that impressed by it overall, it wasn't a bad film but I would hardly call it a masterpiece. At the very least AG HAS to be better then the incredibly boring and mediocre "In Hell" and the sloppy and misguided "The Quest"

this was just awful, in any way...I dont get the fact that Van Damme does 3, 4 DTVs, and doesnt care about quality no more..he badmouthed his old movies, that made him famous, but yet he puts out carp like this, his fight against Kamsing wont ever see the light of day , and he did that Behind Closed Doors serial, that showed he needs a psychiatrist bad, its sad to see your former hero walking this path.

I also wasn't too big on The Hard Corps, now THAT film definitely suffered from cliches big time, plus it was kinda on the slow side and there wasn't a whole lot in the way of action. Does AG at lest have good action scenes?

Heh, I actually liked Derailed somewhat, guess that's cause i'm a sucker for Die-Hard-on-a-train films like Under Siege 2, Hostage Train, Death Train, The Last Siege, and Death, Deceit, And Terror Aborad The Orient Express( which the most hilariously overblown title i've ever heard). Hard Corps wasn't bad, it just didn't really feel much like a Van Damme film.

I didn't know this was out yet. I'll have to check it out. Adkins is rapidly becoming one of my favorite action guys; so I'm more curious to see how he fares in this. I liked The Shepherd a lot so I'm hopeful.

AG doesnt have a lot of action, really, it tries to much to be a drama , its always bad if the story cant decide, what its going to be, drama or action flick...im sick and tired of movies shot in eastern europe, just because its cheap.A good story isnt hard to come by, if one wanted to find one. Instead they go for the most stupid stories, that have been done a million times over. Also, a very tight filming schedule, that doesnt even allow for more elaborate fight scenes. The director is a hack. The last Unisols movie also didnt find grace in my eyes, because violence alone doesnt make a good movie,its uninspired , stupid action.They just don`t take chances anymore, they only care for the numbers. At this budget, they will always make some money, no matter if its a good or a bad movie. There are always enough stupid ppl left to recover the costs.

Hmmm, an action film that tries to be more of a drama, that's what alot of people said about Lundgren's recent film "The Killing Machine" I actually like that approach, and I can deal with a "washed out" sometimes that look can be quite effective in films like "The Book Of Eli"

There's also a ton of Die-Hard-On-A-Plane films, aside form the obvious ones like Executive Decision, Air Force One, Passenger 57, Snakes On A Plane and the Turbulence films, there's Mach 2, two films with the name "Final Approach", Air Rage, Sonic Impact, Tail Sting(one of my personal favorites, SoaP borrowed quite a bit from that film), Air Panic, Hijack'd, Air Marshall and Crash Landing.

I skimmed your review because my local RedBox finally got this thing, so I'm hoping to make it happen next week sometime. I'm kind of not surprised it's a dud, though we'll see what happens-- you didn't like Cyborg, and I love that one.

I needed to get in here and be your 30th comment. I finally got this one, and I agree that it was pretty lackluster, but I wouldn't have minded the cliches so much if they were quicker and more stylish. The beginning was great, and so was the end, the middle was just too blah. Also, while I agree that Van Damme was wooden at times, I blame the material more than him, because when he had a chance to do something, he did it. Also, you had to love him dressed like a hipster in the opening scene.

Got to disagree with you guys. I found this one enjoyable. I even have to praise Van Damme's acting. The scene where the hooker taught him how to caress his turtle was the kind of character development I love.