Just when you thought it was safe to eat that rum-soaked fruitcake*, the December / January issue of Aphelion is lurking just around the corner. It may pounce any minute now... well, within mere hours... well, in the next day or so.

A new novella by Ian Donato, 14 short stories (including some professional-quality stuff!), another installment of "Thoughts on Writing", poetry, and an end-of-the-world editorial (or turn of the baktun, anyway)... all for the low, low price of the editors' sanity.**

My wife Valerie uses a cranberry orange, banana nut bread batter (her recipe) and adds mediterranean dried fruit (not the multi-colored, square-like tiles you buy in hermetically sealed containers in the 10 year old or less bargan bin at the grocery store). Dates, figs, dried plums, raisins and so on and she adds lots of cream to rehydrate the fruit as it bakes. That way, the cake comes out moist.

That and coffee laced with either Grand Marnier (orange-flavored, brandy liqueur) or Amaretto (almond-flavoured, Italian liqueur) and wow!

The voices in my head AND my shrink agree that I'm 'sane enough' - their words, not mine.

Of course, there appear to be no records of a Doctor Nicholas Scratch anywhere on Earth, so BD's shrink may just be a voice in her head with an accompanying visual hallucinatory component. She needs a third opinion. (Especially since she is now convinced that she is an editor...)

My wife Valerie uses a cranberry orange, banana nut bread batter (her recipe) and adds mediterranean dried fruit (not the multi-colored, square-like tiles you buy in hermetically sealed containers in the 10 year old or less bargan bin at the grocery store). Dates, figs, dried plums, raisins and so on and she adds lots of cream to rehydrate the fruit as it bakes. That way, the cake comes out moist.

That and coffee laced with either Grand Marnier (orange-flavored, brandy liqueur) or Amaretto (almond-flavoured, Italian liqueur) and wow!

My wife Valerie uses a cranberry orange, banana nut bread batter (her recipe) and adds mediterranean dried fruit (not the multi-colored, square-like tiles you buy in hermetically sealed containers in the 10 year old or less bargan bin at the grocery store). Dates, figs, dried plums, raisins and so on and she adds lots of cream to rehydrate the fruit as it bakes. That way, the cake comes out moist.

That and coffee laced with either Grand Marnier (orange-flavored, brandy liqueur) or Amaretto (almond-flavoured, Italian liqueur) and wow!

You'd better be nice to her . . .

Lester,

You will soon have your very own Mediterranean fruit cake coming your way! I hope you will enjoy eating it as much as I enjoy making it.

You will soon have your very own Mediterranean fruit cake coming your way! I hope you will enjoy eating it as much as I enjoy making it.

Merry Christmas,

Valerie

P. S. Please send me your home address by private message.

Wow! What a wonderful thing to do! Normally, I'd say something like, 'Please don't go to all that trouble just for me,' but -- for all the spam I kick here -- this time I'll say, 'I'm worth it!'

Thank you!

Lester,

Because I want your fruitcake to reach you as fresh as possible, I'm baking and sending it Wednesday, so it won't sit in some postal warehouse. Along with it, you'll be receiving 2 shots of Disaronno Amaretto for your coffee.

Because I want your fruitcake to reach you as fresh as possible, I'm baking and sending it Wednesday, so it won't sit in some postal warehouse. Along with it, you'll be receiving 2 shots of Disaronno Amaretto for your coffee.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Valerie

Wowwwww . . . my Christmas bonus is even more awesome, now . . . y'know, the human species might be worth saving after all . . . a few of 'em, at least . . . guess I'll have to work on expressing my gratitude . . .

Because I want your fruitcake to reach you as fresh as possible, I'm baking and sending it Wednesday, so it won't sit in some postal warehouse. Along with it, you'll be receiving 2 shots of Disaronno Amaretto for your coffee.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Valerie

Wowwwww . . . my Christmas bonus is even more awesome, now . . . y'know, the human species might be worth saving after all . . . a few of 'em, at least . . . guess I'll have to work on expressing my gratitude . . .

Lester,

Your package will arrive on Friday. I hope it gets to you safely. Watch for it!

It's here! I was worried, because my mail delivery got held up for two days.

I was surprised at the size of the package, but I see you made good provision against the ravages of the delivery monkeys. They did manage to burst a corner of the outer carton, but everything inside is intact.

I'm surprised at the size of it, too; I'm so accustomed to seeing fruitcakes being about the size of a paperback book (or less). This oughtta keep my mouth happy for an extra long while!