What it\’s really like to be a phone actress from one point of view

In my last post I focused on the down side of being a phone sex operator. That wasn’t really my intention, but as usual, my rants seem to find some sort of focus. Never fails to amaze me. There is a lighter side to this job, it’s not all bad. If it was, I wouldn’t do it. For one thing, there is very little to no stress involved. Except when it comes to money, but that stresses everybody so that’s null n’ void here. Setting my own hours has been a huge plus for me. I have a life and I don’t like being at the the beck and call of a boss. Then again, who does? I also have kids and I like being home for them. So if they get sick or have a day off from school I’m not using up vacation days and making requests to some asshole who doesn’t care that I have a family. Wow! I gotta tell you, that last sentence is very empowering. I don’t have an asshole for a boss! I think I’m feeling a natural high right now. See I told you – no stress. While the money I make is not great, it is easy. It doesn’t take a genius to moan into the phone and tell a client how much you want to be banged by them. At the same time it is challenging, and definitely not boring. No two days are alike and no two clients are alike. I personally hated doing the same job every day with absolutely no change in my routine what-so-ever. Besides, getting that much needed kudos was nearly impossible. No, it was impossible, that was why I quit. I found more satisfaction in turning my clients on sexually. There is your ego to consider. While not all clients are respectful, or even decent, there are many who succumb to the charms of a sexually confident woman. More often than not, I find my clients are thanking me for my services or telling me how incredible their orgasms were. You can really hear the gratitude in their voices, and then you know it was a job well done. There is no end to the creativity involved with this job. From the more mundane issues of any job – trying to make more money – to using your imagination to create a fantasy. I once read an article that said the most common male fantasy was the “Naughty Nurse”. I’ve never once received a request for a nurse. Besides, where would the challenge be? I have to admit, that the most common request I get is to describe blow-jobs. This isn’t really surprising if you think about it. I’ve also learned that phone sex is not limited to the lonely male population either. I have gotten calls from lesbians, gay men, transsexuals, couples and men on three-way. There is nothing safer than phone sex to explore your most lurid fantasies without causing any undo damage to yourself or your relationship (assuming you have one). Couples who want to explore including a third person in their sex, but aren’t really comfortable making it a reality, can use a PSO to make their fantasy much more realistic and satisfying. And there is absolutely no judgement or messy emotional issues to deal with. Once they hang up, they are back in their cozy and safe world knowing that they can add a kinky spark when they choose to. Helping people explore their sexuality is also very satisfying. I am not a professional equipped to handle the psychological impact of a sexual identity crisis, and I make that very clear to my clients. But I am an open minded individual that won’t make a client feel guilty for exploring new avenues of their sexuality. The most profound thing I’ve learned so far is how limited my own views on sex was before I became a PSO. I no longer view porn as the enemy and I have a healthier outlook on my own sexuality. I used to feel so threatened and angry if my husband used porn as an outlet for his release. It took me a long time to learn that it only gives him a little variety and is not used to judge me against the perfect hard-bodies portrayed. This job has also brought us a lot closer. And rather than turn away disgusted when he would watch a porn, we now watch them together and find that sex has become more fun because of it. We also talk openly about things we never would have before, from infidelity to hidden fantasies. I never talked about my personal fantasies before, I thought it was wrong or would make him angry. Boy was I wrong! A lot of women seem to think that if a man is calling a phone sex line he must be unfaithful. Nothing could be further from the truth. In my last post I said that I have received offers from clients that get too attached. What I didn’t tell you was that every single one of those clients was not only unattached, but haven’t been able to find the partner they are desperately seeking. Half of my clients are single, but just as many have girlfriends or wives who are not available. Whether they are away on business, out for the night or simply sleeping, these men miss their partners. I can’t begin to count how many times these men have described their partners to me and said how much they love and adore them. But they’re horny and they can’t seem to get the satisfaction they crave. So what do they do, they call me to talk about their wives! More often than not I don’t have to say much. The client just starts talking about their partner and soon he’s got a great fantasy to make his night. There was another side to phone sex I never would have considered, I perform a civic duty. With the war in Iraq, I have been getting many soldiers either just returning home or getting ready to leave. They all have one thing in common, they want to get their mind off of it, even if it’s just for a few minutes. I don’t want to know what they’re thinking about or what they’ve seen and they don’t want to talk about it. CNN and numerous blogs answer any questions I might have in that regard. They, like every other client, are seeking an escape from reality into a fantasy world where stress is left behind and sexual pleasure is the only concern. It doesn’t hurt that I have a thing for men in uniforms either. I talk to many people from many walks of life all over the country and they all want one thing, sexual satisfaction. And I get to provide it on my own terms. If I’m not comfortable with a particular fantasy or don’t know how a client wants me to perform a particular fetish, I just tell them. That’s my right. I may not be able to hang up on them, and there have been times I’ve wanted to, but I can set limits. You want me to be the sexy babysitter? Can do. You want me to be sixteen? Sorry Pal, not happening! The power I get to exert is exhilarating and I’m only limited by my imagination. Maybe it’s not the perfect job, but I could do worse, and I have. Just like there are good days and there are bad; there is an upside and a down. I hope I’ve illustrated them well. Like I said, I’m not here to lure clients. I’m here to tell it like it is. You don’t like it – not my problem. Was that harsh? Maybe, but that’s the beauty of the blog.

One of the most daunting tasks of my job is trying to provide a fantasy for my clients. I usually get an idea of what they’re into depending on what Whisper Tag I get before a call is put through. Some of you may have heard of these, some companies provide them, some don’t. Although I have found that these tags can be very misleading. I once received a tag for Domination, when what the client really wanted was a Virgin. That was fun trying to scramble to accommodate! I was all set to describe a whipping/paddling session answering the call with my most sexy and demanding voice and the first question the client asked was, “So, are you still a virgin?” It was a good thing I didn’t say I was a Mistress! That happens sometimes, you lose a client because you got the wrong tag line, but for the most part the most common Whisper Tag is Female Fantasy. And this is a catch-all for everything. My most common approach is to feel the client out. Sometimes they want to get right to it asking if I’m a dirty little slut or something like that. In which case I spend most of the call screaming and moaning into the phone saying whatever the client demands. I often end those calls wishing I had an oxygen tank! Usually I have clients that don’t really know what they want. They’re horny, that’s the only given, or they wouldn’t have called in the first place. I have gotten more than a few clients claim they’ve never called a phone sex line before and leave everything up to you. This is where some serious acting comes into play. As I said before I feel a client out for what they’re in to. I ask what they are wearing, what they would do if I was there with them, what’s the most unusual place they would want to have sex. Once you warm up the conversation with sexy, but not over-the-top questions they give you a clue. Here’s another little trick I didn’t know about when I first started, I assumed most of my clients were “up and running” so to speak. I quickly learned that some of them like me to get their engine going. I accomplish this by telling the client what I look like, what I’m wearing, my favorite position or anything else they might ask me. Of coarse, I’m not being interviewed, so there’s a lot of flirting and giggling going on. It only takes a few minutes before things start to get good and heavy. And then you just have to decide what you’re the most comfortable with. Do you want to describe a blow-job? If that’s your niche make sure you know what you’re talking about! Do you want to ride him like a cowgirl, you should know that there is in fact a position known as the Cowgirl and how to do it. I once read an article about a very successful phone actress who went on to start her own phone sex company. When asked how she kept her clients, she referred to using everyday situations to build a fantasy on. I tried that approach a couple of times and fell flat on my face! Maybe you’ll have more luck than I did, in which case I want to know what you did! For the most part I think that sticking with what you know is the best way to keep a client. I use real situations I have been through to describe fantasies and so far, have had the best result with those. My other source of inspiration? The porn industry is suddenly mybest friend. I have a collection of magazines and movies that makes even my husband jealous. Most recently I’ve been using the world wide web for inspiration. I use it mostly for fetishes that I’m not familiar with such as domination or TVTS clients. Since I’m not really a “chick with a dick” this has been the most helpful. Once you get the client involved in a fantasy you find yourself in a groove and then it’s a piece of cake from there.

I just have to get this out! Without fail, every night I get at least one question that annoys the crap out of me. Usually it’s something along the lines of, “Are you really ______?” Just fill in the blank.

“Are you really 18?”

If they want the honest answer, it’s usually a resounding NO. When it’s comes to this I want to scream with frustration. Most of my clients already know that I’m probably not 18 and they really don’t care. I am a verbal fantasy. My voice is my lure and I use it well. Those who call in should not allow themselves to dwell on how “real” the person they are talking to is. If I describe myself as a 19 year old college sophomore with long blonde hair, blue eyes and a 24″ waist, don’t think about it! Just go with the fantasy, that’s the fun of it. You can imagine I’m a hot little number and enjoy my services, that’s what I’m there for. Believe me I’d like to be 18 again too.

“Are you really wearing stockings?”

Again, I have to say no. If you’ve read my first blog, you know that I work in an office. This requires professional dress. While most men find stockings, heels and a skirt a turn on (including my hubby), most women don’t. After eight hours of running around the skirt feels constricting, the stockings are pinching and the heels are killing me! Sure at eight o’clock in the morning I thought they were pretty hot too, but definitely not at six in the evening.

This is my favorite: “Are you really playing with yourself?”

This one has everyone’s attention who has ever wanted to know anything about phone sex. The truthful answer is… sometimes. Any phone actress may tell you no, she never touches herself, but that is probably a lie. Some clients sound creepy and perverted and give you the heeby jeebies, but on the other end of the spectrum are the clients that have voices that are just the right pitch to make a girl sit up and listen. Think about it. Would you want to talk to a PSA with a squeeky high pitched laugh like Fran Drescher or a sexy drawl like Angelina Jolie? So, back to the original question; when a client has the combination of an incredible voice and describes the sexual fantasy with great detail it’s hard not to be turned on. That doesn’t mean I actually get off, but I certainly am sorry when the call ends.

Sorry it’s been so long. I usually try to post at least once a week, but with the holidays it’s been hard to keep up. I’ve been wanting to blog about the items I use during calls for a while, but there were just too many other things that were way more interesting. Since I’ve started my job as a PSO I’ve learned that it’s a good idea to keep a few things on hand while you’re taking calls. It never occured to me that I might need tools other than my phone and my voice. But if you want to really satisfy your clients and make the experience a little… steamier, these things may help. A couple of nights after starting a client asked if I had any toys, giggling I told him I did. He wanted to hear it! I had a couple of issues with this request. First, the toy in question was across the room and well out of reach of the phone. Second, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to include a personal item in my phone calls, but I decided; what the heck, it can’t hurt anything. I couldn’t believe the reaction I got after I put it up to the phone! Suddenly my client was telling me what to do with the toy, how to use it, etc. Please keep in mind that I don’t actually masturbate on these calls. Who has the energy for that?!? Anyway, the point is, it really made his night. The other item I have found to be very useful is a silk stocking. One of the most common fetishes I get are leg, foot and stocking fetishes. The silk stocking helps me describe the feel and texture with more sensuality than just trying to remember the last time I wore them and what it felt like. When in reality the last time I wore them I couldn’t wait to get home and rip them off. Ahh, the subtle differences between reality and fantasy never fails to amuse me. So along with my silk stocking and sex toy I also keep a legal pad and pen. It helps to record my calls so I can recognize repeat clients and know who they talked to. In case that last statement threw you off a bit, I created characters to help facilitate client’s fantasies. You know – the blonde, blue-eyed babe, the sultry burnette and the naughty red-head. All in all, I have found that all of these things not only keep my clients happy and satisfied, it also helps me to keep it all straight and give them the best experience I can.

I received my first female caller last night! I don’t think I’ve ever been excited about a client this much before. Every PSO has heard stories of women calling in, but usually they are described to be shy and just beginning sexual self exploration. Not so with this client. She was very sure of herself, she definitely knew what she wanted. But unlike most male clients she was less demanding and more into the moment. The other difference I noticed right away was how verbal she was. Most clients will begin by talking normally, but it doesn’t take long before they are silent as stones. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the strong silent type, but it’s very hard to know if your performing well for the client if they never have a reaction. I once even had a client fall asleep on the phone when he was done! After talking with this client I now understand why men like to call in so much. A woman’s voice has the power to be soothing, guilt inducing, and enticing. Before I never quite understood what the attraction was. Listening to her moaning in my ear and hearing how much my own words brought her pleasure only managed to increase my desire to please her. I find I do the same thing with male clients too. The more verbal they are the more encouraged I am and I enjoy my job more. Maybe it’s an ego thing, whatever it is, I enjoy clients that respond to my verbal stimulation. Also unlike my male clients, she stayed on the phone for a couple of minutes chatting about how much she enjoyed our conversation. I very rarely have a male client do that. Maybe one in twenty will say anything final before they hang up. More often than not, there’s an abrupt end to the call and it’s onto the next. Of coarse, I have only had one female caller, so I could be wrong. But as a woman myself I know that we are rather chatty creatures and enjoy talking much more than men. Well, it was an experience, and one I would gladly do again.

Okay, I’m a little late posting, life has this annoying habit of getting in the way. I’m learning as I delve deeper into this fantasy world I now employ that there are just some things better left alone. I’ve heard of some pretty unusual fetishes, so far nothing I can’t handle. Understanding them though, that is something entirely different. One of the most common fetishes I get a request for besides the usual stocking, shoes and domination is the infantile fetish. I can’t pretend to understand it, but I’m going to try. In one night I had two clients request this fantasy. My first client wanted to be changed and breastfed. The other wanted to be changed also, but wanted his ba-ba and binky. For those of you not familiar with this, there are adult diapers (both disposable and cloth) that can be used for this fantasy along with bottles, pacifiers and other “toys”. These clients want to be dominated, but not abused. They want to feel secure with their partner, not whipped. If there was ever a situation where a person can be completely and utterly dominated, it’s as an infant. An infant relies on it’s caretaker (usually the mother in these fantasies) for everything. But this fetish works both ways. The “Mother” figure usually requires some sort of thanks in return for the care she has shown her “baby”. I’m sure you can figure out for yourself what that might be, it is sex play after all. Of all the fetishes I have encountered before, this is the most interesting. Men are naturally dominant and often prefer traditional domination fantasies in which they are forced (by their own choice) to be submissive to a very sexually confident woman. With the infantile fetish the “baby” is truly giving total control to his partner, I think that demonstrates a level of trust that’s very hard to find in a relationship, even an established one. I’ll admit that if my husband told me he harbored this fetish I might freak out a bit. I don’t want that kind of control over a physical partner. But as is the general rule in the phone sex industry… anything goes. For those of you wondering if this is legal, the simple answer is ‘yes’. But there’s some gray areas that need to be tread carefully. For instance, the whole molestation thing comes into play. This fantasy is most common in male/female relationships and often the man is the baby and the woman is the mother. However, the man does not want to fantasize about his real mother! He just wants to be mothered. Boy, a therapist could really have a blast with some of this stuff! And because this is a form of domination the woman takes a role that while caring, is very sexual and commanding in nature. She wants to control when her “baby” eats, sleeps and when he’s changed. These things are done in a very suggestive manner with both partners merely playing these parts, not truly thinking they are mother and child – at least, I don’t think so, but I could be wrong. I think I’m getting to in depth with this one, but you get the point. Unusual? Yes. Hard to understand? Not really. Just goes to show that you really do need to have an open mind.

One of the most common fantasies that I’ve noticed is domination. This is huge subject! It’s not simply leather and whips, domination is so intricate and detailed that there should be sub-topics on it. This has become a unique challenge for me, because while I can easily slip into a Dominatrix role in real life, it’s much harder to recreate that atmosphere over the phone. Not to mention the fact that because there are so many ways to dominate your partner it’s hard to know exactly what the client is requesting. Humiliation is a form of domination that’s very easy to do over the phone. The client will often volunteer the names and insults they want to hear during role play, and as we all know, humiliation is almost entirely verbal. The most difficult domination request I received was from a client that wanted to be strapped to the floor naked with several women dangling stilettos from their toes. Up to this point it sounded pretty good even to me. A little fetish, and little bondage… just the right mood for a good domination fantasy. Then it got a really hard to understand what he wanted these women to do for him. Were they supposed to tease him by dangling their shoes in his face denying him the pleasure of licking them? Did he want to feel the spiked heels against his skin? Was I supposed to give a detailed description of what they looked like, was he into stockings? I tried a couple of those with no response and it wasn’t long before he hung up. I have no idea if he was just so excited by the idea that he finished quickly or if I was completely off the mark. This is where I have trouble with domination. It’s such a delicate balance between partners that it’s nearly impossible to create the right atmosphere in just a few seconds. In a real life Dominatrix/Slave scenario it can take weeks for the Domme to find out what her client is into. And the relationship, while founded purely on physical stimulation, is very personal. Not something easily done in five minutes or less. I have no doubt that there are women who can perform the domination role with no problems over the phone. I am just not one of them, at least not when it comes to hard core domination. Maybe I’m just too nice. Although I seem to do wonderfully well with homosexual, transvestite and cross dressing clients. But that’s another blog all of it’s own. I will admit that any suggestions on this topic are more than welcome. I just can’t leave it alone, must be the perfectionist in me.

I am still very inexperienced with my new job, but it’s starting to grow on me. I have to admit that I was very worried that I would have moral issues or I just wouldn’t be any good at it. I’m learning that moral issues don’t even exist for me. I have had several clients call and tell me flat out that they have a wife/girlfriend away on business or otherwise not available and they miss her. Think about it girls! How many times have you used your toys to help alleviate how much you “miss” your guy? There are toys out there for men, but even I have to admit that they may not do the trick and they don’t look quite as discreet or inviting as a vibe. So I am only an aid for men who otherwise would much rather have the real woman of their dreams with them. On the other hand, I have also had clients that can’t share their fantasies and desires with most partners because it may be too kinky, taboo, or any other label you want to attach to it. Whatever the reason may be prompting them to call I have found that I am perfectly comfortable with and happy to oblige. In the beginning I had worries that I would be terrible at this. I’m starting to learn what to listen for and what questions to ask. I can’t say for sure that I’m great at it, but I’m guessing I’m pretty good since most of my callers have been very satisfied with my services. Part of this service is creating an illusion in their minds. The most common fantasy so far is men wanting to dominate a younger woman. In today’s society where women are strong, independent equals to their male counterparts it’s no wonder that men are looking for a place to be dominant. From purely a genetic and historical point of view, males have always been the dominate species. Men are taller, more muscular and heavier than women. What woman hasn’t sighed at the sight of a well toned man with broad shoulders? Go ahead, I dare you to recall the volley ball scene in Top Gun and not smile! This is a sign of dominance and strength! And women are natural caretakers. We are not the “weaker” sex, if men had to endure what we do they would be on their knees! My own husband has confirmed this lol. It’s only natural that men desire a fantasy that is a part of who they are. So to help out I’ve had to create girls’ that accommodate their wishes. I don’t always know which girl to use with any given caller, so I use a different girl on different nights creating a pattern so that if one girl works then the client can choose to call on that night to talk to her. I have to admit, it’s really fun! One of my girls is naive and just lets a man take control working to please him. I’ve also got a girl who’s more experienced and down right naughty. This one likes spankings… My third one caters to fetishes, I use her to describe sounds and sensations to the clients of the particular object they desire. Of coarse I have to be ready to accommodate anything, but I use that as my guideline. And as I learn more about what my clients want I will continue to fine tune my girls’ to be thier fantasy.

I’ve become the proverbial genie in a bottle. Clients call and ask, and I grant. Girl on girl? No problem. You want me to tell you how hot you look in pink panties? Can do. It takes all kinds, and so far I’ve had no qualms performing for my clients. My favorite calls are the ones that start out as normal conversation and naturally progress as the client’s desire does. And I really like it when they know what they want. There’s nothing harder than trying to pin point what a client wants and trying not to upset him. You never know how a client might react if you suggest the wrong fantasy, usually they get angry and just hang up. Being the perfectionist that I am, I try to make their fantasy a reality verbally. However, it sometimes becomes difficult to grant their every wish. I had one caller that was really into slapping, and ironically he was really nice. When it got a little rough (punching and kicking) I had to pull him back a little bit and he actually apologized! I feel bad when that happens. I’m there to supply a fantasy, but I can’t do that if the fantasy takes an illegal or uncomfortable turn. Luckily I was able to find a middle ground and he seemed very pleased. Besides, I make a much better genie than I do a punching bag. A lot cuter too lol. I had one client that was super sweet. It was really a pleasure fantasizing with him. And when all was said and done he said “thank you”. For those of you who read this and decide to call one of these lines take note… Treating the girl on the other end of the phone respectfully will only make her work harder for you. If you’re nice to her, she’ll do everything she can to rock your world. And if you’re not too shy, a thank you will forever be cherished. I know that if that particular client ever calls back, I will go out of my way to please him.