Wednesday, September 03, 2008

A Little About Canadian Culture and Unique Achievements

Canada is a nation in search of an identity. In fact the government spends tons of our tax dollars trying to invent one for us by keeping American culture away from us - but it doesn't work. It just delays us from discovering US cultural trends.

Canada is by nature basically a milder version of American culture. But we are 10 or 15 years behind. We imitate most every trend and practice that begins in America, but being so far away from it, and being at least a decade behind and having not generated it ourselves naturally out of our own culture and people, we don't ever quite get it.

We have imitation US sitcoms, imitation US gangsta rap, imitation imitation wrestling. McDonald's and KFC's are everywhere making us fat and lethargic.

We are mostly imitators, but we do have some slight differences and some unique talents.
For one thing we know something about America, but Americans barely even know we exist. They think Toronto is the capital. Americans know more about Mexico than about their more similar neighbors up north.

When Canada does have something truly unique, we have this awful tendency to get rid of it.
Canadians make great beer, much better than American beer. Even so, I'll still see Canadians in Canada buying cases of Bud or Miller and it shocks the Hell out of me! The stuff tastes like rat piss!

Canadian beer used to come in manly brown bottles called "stubbies". Our beer is so superior to US bottled pee that it deserves a handsome and unique container like this. Yet Canadian businesses are so eager to imitate US business, that they will copy even inferior ideas, like putting beer in long neck girly bottles for modern man and his skinny fingers. Real men's hands need to firmly grasp short thick stubbies.

Labatt 50, the most manly and tasty Canadian beer is now in these wimpy pantywaist American style skinny bottles.

Canada also s the quart beer bottle which is extra manly. That's what we drank from when we were 12.

Canada makes the worst pizzas - they make it with white Velveeta cheese and luncheon meat. It sort of looks like a pizza but tastes like a grilled cheese sandwich with fried bologna on it that they call "pepperoni".

BUT they make up for that with something called "Montreal Smoked Meat". This is kinda liked corned beef but much tastier and juicier. If you are in Toronto, go to Mel's on Bloor street for a great variety of smoked meat sandwiches. In Ottawa, Dunn's is good. Montreal probably has it everywhere since they invented it.

Canadians all have summer homes in the wilderness that we call "cottages". There is a whole world of unique culture that happens at cottages. That's where we shed our American ways and revert to barbarism.

There was a TV show about cottagelife in the 80s called "Mosquito Lake" starring Canada's funniest man, Mike McDonald. Unfortunately it was written by bad Canadian writers trying to imitate bad American sitcom writing, instead of having Canadian comedians (like Mike) write the show sincerely in a Canadian way.

Canada grows comedians and then tends to export most of them to the US. Those of us who don't play hockey in the winter, have nothingbetter to do than hole up in the basement for months, drink from stubbies and make fun of each other. This is a great training ground for comedy.

Then when we grow up the Canadian government which controls and restricts the entertainment business, while trying to force us to be uniquely Canadian, sends many of its most unique talents to the US, where the market is much larger and slightly more open. It used to be a lot more open to originality, talent and competition, until they deregulated the entertainment companies and caused American culture to degenerate into severe blandness, that today is no longer that differentthanCanada's media culture - just a Hell of a lot more expensive.

Americans think that there is no bacon in Canada, so they invented something called "Canadian Bacon" that is chopped ham stuffed in a tube. You can't find this substance in Canada but it' all over the States.

ACTUAL CANADIAN BACON

We do have an extra meat called "Back Bacon" or "Peameal Bacon" which is super tasty and lethal.

THE TOQUE (pronounced "tuke")

Americans always laugh when I say "toque". They don't what it is, but they stole it from us. It was invented for function - it's meant to keep your head and ears warm in freezing weather.

Americans wear them to be be cool and gangsta in the middle of summer, just like they wear their pants underneath their underwear.

In Canada, toque styles change every year. The classic toque has a pompom on top.Of course Canadians have the best Hockey players, but the Americans spend zillions of dollars to steal them from us.

We have great fighters because the drinking age is 12 in Canada, and so drunk kids always fight each other on the streets - especially in Quebec, where adult teeth were a rarity when I grew up.

This is all background for the origins of Canadian Style animation.

There are some unique naturally Canadian cultural things, but the Canadian media and the Government cause Canadians in general to abandon them for superficial imitations of American culture. We copy good things and bad things about American trends indiscriminately.

We even have Canadian hip hop and homies now.

The government reacting to US influence encourages non-creative people to come up with uniquely Canadian symbols and properties and forces them upon us.

We had "Ookpik" in the 70s, but Ithink he died an ugly well-deserved death.

In 1967, to celebrate Canada's independence, the government commissioned a new flag and
accepted a design that looks like a bargain basement corporate logo designed by a Sheridan College design student.

Canada's image is like a blander imitation of the United States. It's a shame, because there is a ton of natural talent in Canada, but it isn't encouraged honestly or intelligently.

It's the same way for animation. Canada produces some of the best animators in the world, but the general commercial style is a bland imitation of American style...which is an bland imitation of classic American cartoon style.

I'll get into more details, bit by bit.
Here are the main 3 ingredients of the Canadian style of animaton.

Those 3 influences, government meddling, plus America's constantly degenerating culture have led to the modern age of Canada's exciting style.

61 comments:

I'm from Indiana. I had a friend who grew up in Mississauga who lived a proper, private-school, buttoned-down adolescence -- except in the summer, when the family packed up and went to "the cottage" for the summer. She always spoke excitedly about going "up there" (guess it was north of them) and the promise of a less buttoned-down life, at least for a few weeks. Every chance she got, she was out someplace getting laid. Dunno if this is what you meant when you said "barbarism" and "unique [cottage] culture," John!

I visited her in Mississauga once. It was the year the Canadians invented ice beer. It was a big fad and that was all anybody was serving. The stuff was worse than any of the rat piss we drink here. Never saw a bottle of 50 the whole time I was there. Think I missed out. Should have gone the year before.

Man, I grew up too late to have never even heard of stubbies, let alone drink from one. I agree though, those are amazing and we damn well should have them back. Huh, never drank Labatt 50 either, now that I think about it. I'm an Alexander Keith's man, m'self.

I do agree with the Canadian style and how it's seriously lost it's identity over the years. Even animation in the NFB is all but gone (mind you, I never found that any NFB works could produce anything more innovative than squiggly lines. Ooh, and Log Riding). We're a nation of imitators, sadly.

Im not sure canadians lost on their animation talents, I do know Disney animation is getting really pathetic with its animations their making movies that suck constantly.I"ve noticed that kids could watch an older Disney film over and over but when it comes to one of their recent ones most kids get up and leave.

The most fun I ever had in my life was in Canada. I played in a band that toured Quebec, Montreal, Sept Iles, Gaspe and others. The beer there is exquisite, flavorful and much stronger than anything you can get in the states. Our first stop every time we went there was a liqour store right across the border and our favorite was Molson. And the women, dont get me started on Canadian women, they are so much freindlier and open than women here.

I love Canada, and being an American guy there was an amazing experience. They made me feel so special up there. I dont know about the rest of Canada but the French speaking sections are superb.

HAHAHAHA!! You know, I can STILL find those stubby bottles around the woods of my home. Actually, the most popular place to find them, is under sealed-off back patios. Obviously, everyone was drunk when they built their houses in Canada.

Out east, we have a lot of those 'cottages', but we also have the lesser version of that, the 'bungalo' -- which is your deceased grandparent's dilapidated shack on a river. You can tell the difference between a 'cottage' and a 'bungalo' by the spider-filled outhouse with poop older than you.

I have to disagree with your pizza theory, though. Sure, the pizza in Ontario is crap, the pizza in Montreal isn't so great neither. For that, the pizza isn't so great in Halifax. But the pizza is FANTASTIC in Cape Breton!! It's the real deal! You see, Cape Breton is so detached from the mainland, that it take extra-long for things to catch on here. Out of necessity, we developed good pizza skills.

POULTINE! How can you forget POULTINE, man?!? My Canadian boyfriend and I disagree on some things, but one thing we can agree on is the awesomeness of POULTINE!!! It's a big fuckin' tub of delicious heart attack!

Maybe it's a French Canadian/English Canadian thing. I dunno.

But more seriously, the one thing I've really noticed in common about almost all of the Canadians I've known is that they're pathologically nice compared to Americans, and really reluctant to rock the boat. Maybe this comes from living in such a harsh environment where you have to be cool to each other, because if you don't, you'll end up out in the freezing snow.

That is a fantastic post. Your comment at the beginning reminded me of an MST3K joke. When a mulleted character walked on screen, a character said, "Well, this movie either takes place in America 10 years ago, or in Canada today".

Writer Sarah Vowell had a great bit on Canada in her book "The Partly Cloudy Patriot". She attributes the American vs. Canadian attitude to how each country gained independence. Unruly rebellion vs. politely waiting your turn. John Wayne vs. Dudley Do-right.

Yes, America has crap beer; but just like good art, you have to go to the indie labels for the good stuff. Try some Harpoon or Stone. There was a great book written by two Canadians a few years ago dispelling Canadian myths (such as higher alcohol content, which, when adjusted for measurement by volume, turns out it's actually lower).

Four of my favorite Canadian things: Skinny Puppy, Frontline Assemply/Delerium, D.O.A., and Rush. Of course, like many great things Canadian, Skinny Puppy now live in L.A.

Finally, after going to some hard parts of Montreal, I will never ever think of Canadians as the stereotypical "nice guys" again. I saw worse things there than I've seen in Tijuana.

As someone who's had plenty of Labatt and Moosehead, I can honestly say they're no better than Miller. Budweiser, sure.

At the end of the day, give me a New Glarus Spotted Cow (New Glarus, WI) or a Big Boss Bad Penny Brown Ale (Raleigh, NC) or a Rogue Dead Guy or any one of a thousand delicious beers from a small (or not so small) brewery over a supermarket brew....

Gotta say. I've lived in Canada my entire life and never had a stubbie, Labatt 50, a cottage or a bad pizza and I don't like Michael Mcdonald. Must be an east coast thing. Because there isn't really an accent in BC. I hear it from people who come from the praires and further east. I do however wear Toques and use pencil crayons. And to say Canada always copies American T.V is a gross over statement. I think American T.V. dominates our networks and people don't recognize the Canadian content. But it is there and it does get recognition. Just not in the states. Canada is very successful in European markets and other colony countries. I think you just think it fails because you've been away from it so long. There are imitator shows, but those tend to be the shows that you notice most. If you actually sat and watched you notice tons of gems. Honestly I think there are better Canadian shows than American shows. They just never get the due attention.

Im not sure canadians lost on their animation talents, I do know Disney animation is getting really pathetic with its animations their making movies that suck constantly.I"ve noticed that kids could watch an older Disney film over and over but when it comes to one of their recent ones most kids get up and leave.

A Toque is a winter hat or in other words a skully. There is no difference. My grandfather was from Montreal, so I was raised saying Toque. Every time I say it in front of a group of people, I have to go into a five minute discussion of what a toque is. I thought this was always common knowledge?

I LOOOOOOOOOVE Labatt 50!! My friends make fun of me for drinking it, because its the beer their grandparents drink, but it's soooo good and cheap that I sort of don't give a fuck what they think. It's got this weird sort of fruity, almost this sort of wheaty, taste. It almost tastes like it came out of a can even when it's in a bottle. My dad drink Labatt Blue, though, which I hate. Do you like Blue, John? How about Rickards Red? I have to admit, I enjoy MGD, it's nutty.

HAHAAHA!! I have never been more proud to be Canadian! I work on an American show, in Canada, as a character designer, and we were given that Arthur scene as reference. Ugh.By the way, that charming chap beside Arthur? Matt Damon.

A hat (if you are referring to a baseball cap) can only cover the top part of the cranium, while a toque is stretchy, and may be worn tightly fitting the skull or loose on top (the latter being the preferred standard).

I love wearing a toque (tuk is how I pronounce it), but only during the winter. I can never understand, especially for you nutty Americans, would ware a piece of winter gear during the hot days of summer. I think of it in the same sense of someone wearing their clothes in reverse; it’s silly, impractical, and it would make you look like a dork.

Anyway, I grew up with Canadian bacon, but I only had the stuff in its more traditional form, with the meat taken from the sides, belly, or back of a pig that has been cured, smoked, (or both) and has been sold in plasic packages.

I need to find some of that ‘Peameal Bacon’, because it looks scrumptious. Also, in my opinion, Canadian glazed Ham is superior to its American branded cousin.

As for the Animated films that were produced here in Canada, I’ll talk about it on a later date.

Great post! I do love me a Labatts Blue now and then. American beer is probably the worst thing you can put in your body. I can only think that people like that shit because its cheap and they can drink a case of it and be alright...those marathon drinkers.

Holland has my vote for the best beers.

GSP is the man. However, your other Canadian figher Patrick Cote is going to wish he played hockey after he feels the wrath of Anderson Silva's knees across his head.

One consequence of the lack of small firearms in Canada is bar fights. Since they're rarely fatal & health care is free, it's seen as a form of cheap entertainment. When I started drinking, they still had 2 entrances in bars: one for ladies & escorts which led to a typical barroom & an entrance for men which led to a tiled vomitorium lit by harsh fluorescent lights. No use trying to lie to yourself that you're a social drinker if you drink there.

I always thought Canadian bacon WAS back bacon. I guess it's because we called American cheese 'back cheese'.

I remember cottage life, too. There were a group of kids you grew up with but never saw except 2 or 3 weeks in the summer. You could experiment sexually knowing that they'd never hear about it at your junior high.

Let me state that you are super, super right about the government and how blandoids are trying to dictate Canadian culture.

Let it be known that the CBC is a Crown Corporation. It's a state-run network masquerading as a counterculture venue. A bunch of cold dullards hand-pick what qualifies as Canadian culture and makes people who don't like it pay for it.

The US wouldn't stoop to that level. They don't have to. Canada would have a much better culture if "proud Canadians" stopped trying to invent one.

John,Hilarious post man.One bit of canadian food/visual culture you left out was the Old Dutch potato chips, which have amazing packaging and mascots. Canadian's have ketchup chips of course, which American's somehow never figured out, and so old dutch has an amazing anthropomorphic ketchup man as mascot. Good chips too, get 'em in the praries.

John, would you consider doing a album cover commission for a Winnipeger/Montrealer with a heart? My rock band is doing an album about eskimos, zombies, seals, caribou, and the like. If you don't do the cover, we will probably just cancel the whole album project. Let me know your price so I know which house in Westmount to knock off.

I dunno, John. When I think of Canada, I think of the NFB and Fredric Back. Mr. Back makes me think of Canada's beauty which the government is desperately trying to preserve to atone for past abuses to the St. Lawrence River. From this concern for environment sprang Canada's main industry: environmental conservation which the U.S has been trying to imitate for years. Curb side recycling? That's a Canadian invention!Go Canada!

I live across from Fort Erie, yet my only knowledge of Canadian culture is from the tourist traps in Southern Ontario (NF's Clifton Hill and Skylon Tower, Hamilton's African Lion Safari, Mississauga's Playdium, and Toronto's Harbourfront, Science Centre, Zoo, and CN Tower).

If Canada is a decade behind America, they must be having their Golden Age right now.

My only exposure to Canadian culture before I read this post was the 'Red Green Show' which aired late night on a local TV station growing up. Watching that show was fun because I found it so confusing. The jokes were so foreign to me. I felt like an ape staring at the black monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey. I just kept asking myself, 'What is this?'

My first girlfriend was Canadian. Her family moved down here to Minnesota from Alberta. Through her I learned all about the ways of Canadian culture.

I live a couple hours south of Winnipeg. Every weekend, the Canadians will drive down and infiltrate Grand Forks and Fargo to go shopping. Probably to escape all those dreadful Canadian taxes. Visit Target on a Saturday in Fargo and 90% of the vehicles have Manitoban plates! That percentage is probably higher lately because of the weak US dollar.

There is one thing that distinguishes Canucks from Yankees though - "just put a maple leaf on it!" Any time I'm in Winnipeg I like spotting the little red leaf on signs - McDonald's, Wendy's, Arby's, etc. - they're all there! We should slap some stars and stripes on all our US Tim Hortons franchises.

This post is amazing!!! I love Canada and have always been a big fan. Great to see some inside looks from an actual native! I would really like to try the stubbies and actual good beer but have no idea how to obtain it.

great posts!! but what was the genesis of the saggy sausage nose thing? Was this in response to how depressed the Canadian animators were at having a lot of limited animation to do, did this make their wieners droop ??? Or Was this sort of like a gay association how the gay hand used to be knows as, you know the hand than flops over in men as seen as gay, so did the droopy nose characters have gay personalities or qualities ??

Nobody does Manly beer bottles like Australia. Canada may have embraced the stubbie, but Australia perfected it.

(Note that Darwinians don't actually drink the Darwin stubby, because they soon realised that in the tropics, 2.2 litres of beer gets warm before you've finished it. Regardless, it is unsurpassed in Manliness.)

Hey John, What was the name of that cartoon with the racoons that wear sweaters? I used to watch that as a kid on HBO or something like that. You posted another picture the other day and it has bothered me ever since...

Back in the mid 70's, I worked at a Baskin & Robbins in Central Sq, Cambridge MA. A plaid-shirt-wearing patron identified himself as Canadian, and I naively used the *C* word in jest. This *C-word* fellow charged the counter, and I had to brandish the baseball bat we kept under the counter for such occasions. But seriously, if Caribou Barbie and Walnuts get elected, we might be looking to relocate our famliy to our fair northern neighbor.

We have stubbies in Australia too! Our's are also a dying breed... but we do still have one: the mighty Victoria Bitter! And we call our "quart" beer bottles long necks. We drink them out of paper bags. We also steal all our culture from America. It used to be England. We are pretty lame... But. Lots of good beer!

They think Toronto is the capital. Americans know more about Mexico than about their more similar neighbors up north. , this is not true, people in the U.S. do not know anything about mexico, they think that everyone is like Tijuana, just have an interest in Cabo San Lucas and think that we all have a hat like speedy gonzalez!

Often we forget the little guy, the SMB, in our discussions of the comings and goings of the Internet marketing industry. Sure there are times like this when a report surfaces talking about their issues and concerns but, for the most part, we like to talk about big brands and how they do the Internet marketing thing well or not so well.