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capturing the essence of the form

…It is entirely appropriate that the Army never acted upon suspicions raised by [Maj. Nidal Malik] Hasan’s earlier, perhaps troubling to some, behavior. It is appropriate because—and we must continually restate this as almost a mantra until progressivism sets our collective heart in the right place—he is an American whose very presence completes our national identity. And although we deplore the acts of violence Hasan allegedly committed, we deeply cherish his contribution to America’s diversity.

—Doug van Gorder, Stars and Stripes, 28 December 2009

…Some propose overturning laws that made schools gun-free zones even for teachers who may be licensed to securely carry concealed firearms elsewhere. They argue that barring licensed-carry only ensures a defenseless, target-rich environment.
But as a progressive, I would sooner lay my child to rest than succumb to the belief that the use of a gun for self-defense is somehow not in itself a gun crime.

(First time listener, first time fan. No idea what I’m doing here. Made a couple of left turns when I should have turned right while looking for info on the Politician’s Breviary by (perhaps) Mazzarino. Thank you again for your indulgence.)

Is this “Doug van Gorder” a creation of yours? He reads like satire, and his line: “A level barrel is fair to all fish” seems to be either jocular pun or the worst possible choice of words–come on, “A level barrel” in a discussion of school shootings! I’m as liberal as the next guy, but anyone who would sooner lay his child to rest than succumb to ANY belief needs to be the recipient of a retroactive abortion. And come on, “we deeply cherish his contribution to America’s diversity” !!?? This has to be a plant. Even the target rich environment of Boston Academia couldn’t generate this statement in earnest.