Violence Erupts During Anti-Violence Rally

Two rival anti-violence activist groups clashed today on the steps of City Hall during what terrified witnesses describe as a gangland style drive-by slapping, choking and hair-pulling attack by the notorious 8th Street Peace House Pimps. Reportedly the Peace House faction felt disrespected by not being included in the anti-violence rally sponsored by Westside Love, a socially alert quilting collective. As anti-violence advocates moved in to calm the disturbance, they were themselves attacked by anarchist anti-violence activists who hit them in the face with hammers. Special Police Anti-Violence Units (SPAVU) arrived shortly after, dispersed the crowd with robust discharges of spicy pepper spray and all the violence ran right down the street.