Painstaking research of boobs has revealed these truths (17 Photos)

Breasts. Boobs. Tits. Knockers. I could go on all day. You love looking at them, but how much do you actually know about them? Lucky you, we’ve done all the research so you can just sit back and enjoy! In fact, I could probably type just about anything right here because you definitely stopped reading already. Your mom!

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85% of women on the planet are locking their breasts in a boob jail (bra) the wrong size. As a man, I figured this just created the whole “push-up” effect, but apparently I don’t know wtf I’m talking about.

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According to the prestigious UC Berkeley and Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, giving the tit a nice healthy squeeze may prevent breast cancer. I am available for preemptive breast cancer exams.

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All boobs can produce milk, not just the ones with their own zip codes. The fatty tissue that gives breasts their mass doesn’t matter.

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A man’s hunger level can dictate what type of boobs he prefers. Hungrier men tend to prefer bigger boobs, while satiated men like the handful variety. No word on correlation to “thirst.”

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Men’s level of wealth can also influence their preference: Financially secure men prefer smaller breasts, while men on the poorer side prefer big breasts.

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All boobs are not created equal – the left one is usually a little larger.

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Larger breasts also seem to be more appealing to men who want to become fathers. I guess sharing really is caring…

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Humans are the only primates who have permanent breasts. All others only have front humps while still feeding their young.

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Men who prefer a submissive partner are more attracted to smaller breasts.

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Thought the myth that staring at boobs extends a man life has been debunked, happier people live longer lives and staring at boobs makes us happy. Take that science!

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Some women can achieve orgasm just from nipple stimulation.

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Bras actually increase the rate at which a woman’s breasts sag. Burn it!

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The average boob weighs 499 grams

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1 out of every 20 women in America has had breast augmentation.

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The largest natural breasts in the world belong to Anne Hawkins-Turner (NSFW) (not pictured here), measuring 70 inches (177.8 cm) around chest-over-nipple. That’s a 48V cup size. Talk about FLBP…

Benjamin DeLisi

Benjamin DeLisi, Editor/Reporter/Co-Owner [email protected] Ben is a Computer Science major, and Co-Owner of Bored Nerdist. He serves as Editor-in-Chief, and reports on various facets of culture, and nerd news.