Lady Gaga was born this way, for one disappointed reviewer: "a convoluted, disjointed exercise in excess that was far less enjoyable than Gaga's previous road show, the Monster Ball Tour," according to a post in the San Jose Mercury News.

The 26-year-old superstarlet's tour rolled through the Bay Area and played to a capacity crowd at the HP Pavilion in San Jose on Thursday night, according to the newspaper. According to critic Jim Harrison, Gaga displayed "flash and little else."

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What, no meat dress? And no bubble dress, either.

The 2-1/2 hour show sure sounds heavy on the visuals, according to the review. There's a three-story medieval castle. There's an outer space segment with a disembodied head. There's a giant, anatomically-correct torso, through which Gaga is "birthed" in order to sing "Born This Way." There's an awful lot, actually -- in fact, too much, Harrington concludes.

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"She went through costume changes, storylines, theatrics, dance routines and special effects at breakneck speed, to the point where the only constant was change itself," he writes.

Did 13,000 other Gaga fans share his feelings? In any case, there's little risk of Gaga's worst fear.

"Don't you ever (expletive) forget about me!" Gaga told the fans on her way out.