Jan. 21, 2015 – Step by Step

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”– Step Nine

Today, this, the Ninth Step, may be second to the Fourth in the courage, strength, honesty and humility required to carry it out. Each of us, in our drinking days, inflicted some injury on someone else, and the Ninth directs us to apologize and make amends to them. Why? Responsibility and consequences. The rare exception to extending an amend is if doing so would inflict hurt on anyone else, for example, someone who isn’t aware that they were wronged and would suffer if the wrong is admitted. Doing so is not fully altruistic, though; in giving voice and accepting responsibility and consequences of our misconduct, we start the process of reconciliation. But not everyone can be expected to accept our amends on our word; if the injured party has heard it before or if the injury cuts too deep, we must be prepared for rejection. Then, our greatest amend may well be to give truth to our voice by staying sober. Today, my sincerest amend to anyone I have hurt will be my sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2015