The Soup Standard is currently seeking a Designer to join the family for a contract design position. If you, or someone you know may be a good fit, please review the qualifications below and contact us.

Position: DesignerHours: Part Time, FlexiblePay: DOEStart: 9/ - 11/30 with potential for hireOnsite Work

The Must

Graduate or currently enrolled in an accredited graphic design program

Can a logo make a presidential candidate more electable? No, but we tried anyway. We created logos for the latest 2016 Presidential candidates - before they had a chance to do it themselves.

Nic Cage

“I’ve never turned down a role. So why would I turn down the Presidency?,” says Cage. The actor announced his bid on Tuesday with a well oiled forehead and leather jacket. When asked by a reporter why voters should elect him, he responded, “If you have seen my movies you know I’ve found the National Treasure. Twice.”

Dov Charney

Former CEO of American Apparel Doug Charney, fresh off Unemployment, has high hopes of reforming America’s policy on foreign manufacturing. Charney’s campaign manager, 14-year old lingerie model Madison Taylor, says, “Charney Headquarters is on fleek! The ‘No Ugly Policy’ really keeps it freshie.”

Paula Deen

The Georgia native announced her candidacy in response to the success of Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” program. “The current administration has spent the last eight years trying to get kids healthy - I want to get them happy!,” squeals Deen. “This nation is a mess and nothing will fix it like a slatherin’ of good ole’ Southern hospitality.” Deen’s campaign headquarters in Atlanta even boasts all-you-can eat biscuits and an all African American volunteer staff to “make it feel more authentic.”

Tom from MySpace

The press conference in downtown L.A was a flurry of speculation last week when reporters gathered for what was thought to be MySpace Tom’s first public appearance since 2010. After losing default “first friend” position on MySpace five years ago, Tom has been off-the-grid in the woods of Los Angeles. Instead of announcing his bid for the White House in person, Tom projected his original 2003 MySpace Profile picture and listed his Top 8 campaign advisors. He ended the brief announcement by sending a message to voters, “This time around, America, I’m going to need you to friend me.”

Bernard Madoff

When the FBI and SCC were tipped off last month that Madoff may be running another Ponzi scheme from inside Butner Federal Correctional Institution, they began investigations. “Weeks of digging turned up no evidence of financial or securities fraud,” says FBI Officer James Glenn. “Turns out the guy is just signing up to run for President.” Pundits are questioning the legitimacy of Madoff’s campaign since his 11 federal felonies technically make him ineligible for the ticket. However, the Federal Election Commission published a statement on Monday declaring:

"After careful review of Mr. Madoff’s bid for the 2016 Presidential election, we have concluded that despite his criminal history, a dishonest, wealthy, Caucasian male should never be denied his right for power - including the Presidency."

Mel Gibson

According to his assistant, Gibson fell into “an enraged and intoxicated rant” Monday morning upon hearing that the FEC had approved Bernie Madoff’s bid for the 2016 election. The episode became so heated that his assistant began an audio recording, which now serves as his official campaign announcement:

“Fucking Jews. They fucking ruin everything. You know what this country needs?! Fucking Freeeeeedom! Not another Jew in power. And I’m going to give it to them. Watch me. Watch me do it. I’ll fucking do it!! Mel for 2016 mother fuckers!! I’ll show those little puss boys what a leader is.”

Floyd Mayweather

Still on a confidence-high from his recent April victory over Filipino sweetheart Manny Pacquiao, Mayweather is training for what he hopes to be his greatest match of all time: a fight for the Presidency. Analysts believe Floyd "Money" Mayweather has a very good chance of beating his opponent, especially if it's a woman. Despite being the highest paid athlete in the world, he is not following the lead of Donald Trump in funding his own campaign. Rather, Mayweather posted a check from his promoter for $72,276,000.00 and Tweeted:

"This is my Money. I earned it. Legally. You want me to be President? Fund me.

The Tweet was accompanied with a link to his election campaign's Kickstarter page.

Rosie O'Donnell

When O’Donnell abruptly departed "The View" in 2015, just months after her return, she claimed it was for ‘personal reasons.’ This week, the exit strategy became clear as she told a crowd in Times Square that she will be the First Openly Obnoxious President of the United States. She vows to make sure another Bush doesn’t sit in the Oval Office and to confiscate every gun in America - even toy ones. Her supporters met her with cheers as she threw Koosh balls into the crowd. She then invited her 1996 “boy toy” Tom Cruise on stage and announced that he will be her running mate as Barbara Streisand was not available.

Tyra Banks

“I’m one fierce bitch.” That is how a demure and stern Tyra Banks started off her announcement speech last Friday. The former supermodel, TV personality, entrepreneur and Harvard educated candidate seems unstoppable in her race for the White House and will only be accepting campaign donations from Oprah Winfrey. A spokesperson for Banks said she is “truly saddened” to see Michelle Obama leaving the White House. Banks saw the First Lady as a much needed example of style and confidence for the American woman.

“Look me in the eyes,” Banks demanded of the crowd. “I will do everything in my power to keep that scowling, periwinkle pantsuit wearing granny from filling the closet of the White House with atrocities. Step aside Hillary! You are no longer in the running to become America’s Next Top President.”

Guy Fieri

The self-proclaimed "Mayor of Flavortown" has his sights set on a higher office. Fieri made the announcement on live TV during an appearance on The Today Show. During a summer BBQ segment with Al Roker, Fieri wrapped his mouth around a Habanero Blue Cheese Bacon Cheeseburger Chimichanga, took a bite and while still chewing said. “You gotta taste this America! And I’m not talking about the flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking about me - Guy - for President of the Americans.” Fieri will be setting off on his campaign tour in a food truck next month where he will force each swing state to attempt to give him a heart attack.

Perez Hilton

The celebrity blogger naturally announced his aim for a 2016 election on his own Twitter.

Hilton’s campaign promises more transparency from U.S. politics if he is elected. Proposed strategies include a dedicated Twitter hashtag for senators to express their frustrations during filibusters and a confessional room where White House cabinet members can record and broadcast their true feelings. Hilton is courting musician Taylor Swift as his running mate and has what he calls “A flat out fabulous tour full of DRAMA!!!” planned for the summer.

Michael Vick

Vick was once the famed face of football. Now, at 35 years old, he sits as the Jet’s unsigned backup quarterback. Until yesterday, that is. Upon hearing the news that the FEC approved fellow felon Bernie Madoff’s 2016 bid, Vick knew he had to fetch the Presidency.

However, his off-field antics left him bankrupt so he turned to fellow animal lover Bob Barker for support. It took some convincing, but 91 year-old Barker agreed to be his running mate on the condition that, if elected, their term goal would be to spay or neuter each and every NFL player.

*The Assholes at Soup Standard, LLC of Seattle, Washington would like to remind you that the situations and quotations of the people below are purely fictional. However, any resemblance to their actual character is purely intentional. If you have an issue with that, you can take it up with them directly.

A Word On Branding

I’m in the business of perception. I help create it, and nurture loyalty based on it. My team and I create brands for companies, products - and people. For a person, a brand has countless touch-points; what they stand for, how they carry themselves, the way they speak and dress and the emotions they expect their audience to act on. I could go on and on, but we are here to focus on how all this complex perception can be boiled down into a single mark - the logo.

Naturally, we couldn’t look away as the 2016 Presidential Candidates rolled out their campaign logos, attempting to hit par with Obama’s 2008 mark. Can a logo make a Presidential candidate more electable? No. However, as I tell my clients - a brand is a sorting device. They help you choose between Sensodyne, Crest, Colgate, Toms, or Aquafresh in the dental care aisle. Unfortunately with Presidents, like toothpaste, you never know if they work until you try them. If you are trying, you are buying - and then the brand has done it’s job.

Remember kids, any man can create a logo, but it takes a patient and keen man to earn a brand.

A BRIEF RANT // BY SHAN FOISY

A Brief Rant / Shan Foisy

2 months ago, I could see the Space Needle from my office window. I liked it. It made me feel connected to a city and a legacy- not just this neighborhood atop a hill. I have yet to get overly up in arms about all the development and change happening around here. It scares me, but I know cities change and evolve just like people. Seattle is a living, breathing creature. That said- when I popped my head out the window for some fresh air this morning and saw my view was covered with cranes and condos - I was pissed. I want my fucking Needle back. ‪

Trakstar's CEO David Martin came to us a day after visiting the Air and Space Museum here in Seattle. "As a kid, I loved space," he said. "I still love space."

David had an idea to create some t-shirts, stickers, and a poster for his team to get them excited for a series of software launches they would be working on over the next two years. After listening to David talk about his goals, we gave him the idea to offer his team something more interactive and experiential. Trakstar's 13 person team huddles together like family, dogs and all, in their Capitol Hill loft space. So, we decided to take send on a Mission.

Inspired by the NASA Apollo patches of the 1960's, our team created custom embroidered Liftoff Mission patches to apply to their bags and jackets. Thanks to Linus' dainty hands and Singer skills, we also sewed patches on hoodies we had screened at Sanctuary Arts Center.

Peter built a 6' x 7' magnetic wall board to serve as the Mission headquarters so the team could track their progress and post new ideas. Shan vetoed stickers and worked with Jonathan to develop a set of trading cards that could be handed out as Merits amongst the team. The pack included a few Pluto Demerit cards for "Being a sore loser." Word has it there are even a few "Uranus Demerit" cards that David can hand out at his discretion.

It was a long week of crafting and assembly but we had a blast and most importantly, the client was thrilled. We were greeted with a standing ovation from the whole team when we popped in to drop off some extra swag the day David revealed the campaign. This, renewing our hope in client humanity, remind us of the intrinsic value great design can add. Trust, excitement and partnership in the creative process is what takes an idea from a project - to an experience.

VENDORS WE DIGG // Sanctuary Screenprinting is a non-profit entity all proceeds made from sales go directly toward supporting our various programs for at-risk youth. The production team is made up of homeless and street involved youth enrolled in pre-employment training internships. The internships are designed to teach youth specific vocational skills related to the silkscreen trade.

what we loved about this experience

• Working with our hands • Complete creative freedom

• Seeing the Client's team really stoked to work where they do

• Supporting local vendors who give back to the community

AUTHOR: SHAN, FOUNDER & CREATIVE DIRECTOR // For the first time since I was 17, I’ve been reading through my fast write journal from a Creative Writing class I took as a Senior in high school. It was taught by Tish Knapp, a wonderfully wild and kind woman who came complete with a pet emu and wallaby. She got us out of the classroom often and immersed in other environments to help each of us develop personality and perspective in our writing.

According to an entry on October 3, 2002, Tish had taken us back to the elementary school gymnasium to watch a class full of Kindergartners during a rainy day recess. On a small island, she knew 90% of her students must have many memories in this echo-filled barn with glassy floors and old wooden bleachers. Here, we were to observe the five year olds scurrying about, in their first year of school - as we were entering our last. I think we all froze for a moment and reflected on how fast our childhoods had passed. We were the “big kids” now, and sooner than later most of us would take one last ferry off the island and make a new life elsewhere. Our echoes in the gymnasium and ramblings in the high school halls would be replaced by the next generation, and the next after that.

You never know how small you are - until you grow up.

Reading my passage back today, I sat and reflected as I reached the last paragraph. “These children seem so small to me. I never felt that small as a kid. But I suppose you never know how small you are - until you grow up.”

I’m two months shy of my 30th birthday and within 18 months, my son will be as old as those kids. In everything I’ve done and been through in the 13 years since I wrote that entry, that perspective, that Tish tried to instill and that I experienced that day in the gym, is what slows me down when it all seems to be flying by too fast. In life, love, business - you really don’t ever know how small you are- until you grow up.

AUTHOR: SHAN, FOUNDER & CREATIVE DIRECTOR // After a run to the art supply store today, our designer Linus and I ducked into the our local hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese joint during a downpour. Being the day after Superbowl, we discussed our mutual detest for drunk girls watching sports while we waited for Bahn Mi's for the team. Back at the studio, the guys and I drowned our sandwiches in Siracha and finished up lunch around the table. As everyone got up, I stopped Linus in a sudden onset of calorie driven creativity and demanded he stay put while I ran and got the camera. The afternoon light hit his stoic expression as he sat bundled against the cold brick. He looked like a young solider, posted up in a cold barrack in rural Europe during WWII.

One of the big reasons we moved from the second floor to the third floor of our Broadway and Pike studio was the light. While the second floor had a nice little direct entrance onto Pike Street, the only natural light came from two small windows that overlooked Neumos roof. Great for listening to free shows. Bad for photography. Our bold move to the top floor has provided some of the most diverse natural light we have had the joy of shooting in. Our 50' bank of north facing windows along with a large skylight and 15' ceilings makes for a stable and diffused natural light that lasts most of the day.

We've been lucky enough to begin to shoot custom photography for most of our clients. These shoots range from food, product, lifestyle, business and portrait shoots. Ponce, Peter & I team up to plan, execute and edit our shoots until we reach just the right image. When we work with a company to build a brand, we believe it's vital to curate all the brand assets from ground up so they are 100% ownable and can be crafted to meet all the communication criteria. Take a look at some of the recent photography we've shot for our clients.