Anonymous Showbiz Confessions Post #7

All of this week’s posts are written by my fellow Green Room Bloggers (not myself…or are they?), but I have published them all under my username to protect their identities. Hope you enjoy their confessions!

I am over living in NYC. Well, kind of… sort of… I think the correct way of saying it is I’m over the bullshit that is existing as a low income artist (and person) in NYC. I love this city and I love the community I’ve made but I do not like the things that come along with being low income and the daily struggle of living in the most expensive city in the world. The roots I’ve planted and the community I’ve made are what’s keeping me here right now but I’m not sure that will be enough in a few years. Lately, I feel as if I pour all of my energy into empowering other people but I am not particularly empowered. I want to upgrade my life but am feeling stuck creatively and financially.

“Playing the indie-NY theatre game” for close to five years (defined in part as: auditioning for lo/no pay/ deferred paid work, self producing in leaky basement theater(s), self producing in festivals, being one of six hundred applicants for two spots of a “prestigious unpaid internship” at a “name theatre”, battling for funding, kissing the asses of people who are supposedly important…) has become so uninteresting to me in the last few months that I’m reconsidering another career path and having theatre as something I do for pleasure. I do not doubt my talent, ability or role in this industry as I am fortunate enough to have my “art” as a primary source of employment but I am questioning whether I want to “play the game” forever. I miss the spark and passion that I once had for this and I know it is not missing but buried underneath some of the truths I am realizing not only about this industry and the world (after all, art reflects life, right?).