Marika Tsircou: “There Is No Comparison To A Mother’s Milk”

The latest advocate for attachment parenting comes to us from the TV series, Beverly Hills Nannies. Marika Tsircou and her attorney husband Kyri are proud parents to son Xander, 13 months, and they use a part-time nanny on the new hit reality show

Marika opens up to Celebrity Baby Scoop about being an attached parent and the benefits of co-sleeping and breastfeeding. “It will make your baby healthier, stronger and smarter,” she claims of breastfeeding on demand. Marika also dishes on the average paycheck of a Beverly Hills nanny and the over-the-top demands of wealthy families toward their children’s caregivers. Read on.

MT: It’s about a group of nannies in Beverly Hills and the families they work for. It’s about relationships, motherhood, nannies trying to figure out their place in the world in terms of who they are, how much they make per hour, etc. It’s a slice of life into homes you’d never normally see.”

CBS: Tell us about some of the over-the-top demands from wealthy families toward their nannies that we’ll see on the show.

MT: “I got smeared in the blogs for asking Justin for a foot rub on the pilot. I suppose it was over the top however my baby was 2-months-old, I’d been wearing heels all day while out shooting the pilot and carrying Xander around and my feet were killing from gaining 65 lbs. while pregnant.

Plus – and most importantly – what the cameras didn’t show was Justin refusing to change diapers or help out with the baby. He had no baby experience so I tried giving him other jobs, such as rubbing my feet and organizing my frozen stash of breast milk. He never ended up doing any of the above. People need to remember that with editing they don’t always see the 100% true and accurate picture of who someone is.”

CBS: How do you communicate with your nanny? Are you friendly? Is she viewed as a member of the family? Or an employee?

MT: “I am a very open and honest person with all my friends, family and employers. I’m the most loving mama and friend anyone could ask for. So yes, I’m friendly with my nanny. Amanda seemed like a girlfriend to me, which was so much fun because it was great to have someone helping me around the house a little bit who I enjoy being around and chatting with.

After the baby would go down for bed we’d chat and have a glass of wine and hang out before my husband got home from work. I really love her and have so much respect for her, as a friend and a nanny. It was fun doing the show together and she was very sweet with Xander.

It’s extremely difficult for me to leave Xander with anyone. We are pretty much always together as I’m practicing attachment parenting with him. I’m a breastfeeding, baby-wearing natural mama and it just feels normal and natural for me to take care of my baby and be with him all day. He completes me and makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. So I needed a nanny on the show who understood that I would pretty much always be around (except for when I’m in my studio painting), and would therefore need help with other things rather than just caring for my baby and handing my baby over to her.”

CBS: What is the typical fee for a nanny in Beverly Hills? What are the hours? Do they travel with you? Sleep overnight?

MT: “Every single person I know pays $12-$15 an hour. I only know one person who pays $20 and that’s for two kids, and even her nanny admits that is on the high end. I honestly don’t know where Kristen’s nannies get that they should be paid $40 an hour for a service that everyone else is paying $15 for.

I have the utmost respect for Amanda and Justin and if I had billions of dollars and money was absolutely no object, I would gladly pay them $100 an hour. Unfortunately that’s not the case and while we certainly have money and live very comfortably we need to buy a bigger house when I get pregnant again and we have many expenses.

We therefore don’t have the luxury of spending $40 an hour on a nanny, especially when we know that everyone in our circle pays $15. Until my hubby turns into Bill Gates we’re going to have to stick with a $15 an hour nanny.

The hours of nannies in Beverly Hills totally depend on what each family needs. We only need a part time nanny as I’m a stay at home mom and absolutely love taking care of Xander more than anything in the world. Therefore the only time I really need a nanny is one or two days a week so I can make it down to my studio to paint and sit at my desk to catch up on bills and emails. The rest of the time I am with Xander. He nurses a lot and we are very bonded and it wouldn’t seem natural to me to not be raising him myself 99.9% of the time.

We also, of course, need a nanny a couple nights a week as we go out twice a week. I always put Xander to bed myself though, as nursing is a big part of our bedtime routine and I enjoy giving him dinner, bath and reading books before we nurse. We have a routine. However, when we go out it’s very important to have someone here that Xander knows and that we trust implicitly in case he were to wake up.

Depending on the trip we would take our nanny. I’m very close to my mom so when we all travel together as a family (such as our Hawaii trip in June and Sun Valley, Idaho trip in August) we don’t need a nanny as that’s our special time to bond and Xander gets to spend extra time with his grandparents.”

CBS: Tell us about your baby Xander. How old is he? What is he into?

MT: Xander just turned 1 in August. It’s been the fastest year of my life. He’s the most amazing, sweet baby and when he smiles and laughs it truly melts my heart. He has captivated every single part of me and I’m more in love with this baby than I ever realized I could be. Obviously I love my husband tremendously but the love I have for my baby trumps any love I’ve ever experienced in my life.

It is because of this love that I want to be with him all the time and it feels only natural to be together all the time. Overnight I became a natural mama who is committed to extended breastfeeding, baby wearing and attachment parenting. Nothing else matters besides my baby. I would give everything up for him if it every came down to that.

He’s into everything! He’s a very active little boy. He started crawling at 5 months and started walking at 12 months. Instead of being a shoe fanatic I’m now a toy fanatic and have bought him all the most popular and fun toys to have in the house. He loves to play and laugh and talk. We take lots of classes every week, a music class, mommy and me class and baby gym class. He is very social and loves people and other kids. I love to take him to classes to see him interact with the other babies. This is the best time in my life nothing makes me happier than spending my days with Xander.”

CBS: We hear you’re a breastfeeding expert. What are some of your best breastfeeding tips?

MT: “My breastfeeding do’s and don’ts:

· Whatever you do, do no…I repeat do not listen to the nurses at the hospital who try to push formula while your milk comes in. Colostrum is the best thing for your baby and though it will be painful, difficult, exhausting and very challenging let your baby suckle all day and night if need be to stimulate your milk.

· Colostrum is all your baby needs until your milk comes in, so please be patient and work though the initial pain and frustration. It will get easier…I promise!

· Caving in and giving formula in the hospital before your milk even has a chance to come in, is setting yourself up for failure.

· Tell the nurses, ‘Thank you very much,’ but you’re sticking it out and that you’re 1000% committed to breastfeeding. Give it a chance before jumping to formula!

· Ask to see a lactation consultant in the hospital twice a day if you need to. Tell them you want to use the hospital grade pump to further stimulate your milk.

· Either rent a hospital grade pump to take home with you or buy a very high quality double electric pump (I had great success with Medela pumps).

· Once you’re home, if your milk supply is low, pump after each nursing session to increase your milk supply.

· Don’t forget that the first month or so is the most important, as that’s when your milk supply is being established. So this is the time to hunker down and nurse, nurse, nurse.

Feed on demand! Here’s why:

· Please, whatever you do, do no put your baby on a nursing schedule. Feed on demand!!

· Beware of the results; you’ll have a very happy baby and simultaneously boost your milk supply!

· If your milk supply is on over-drive, no need to pump more than once a day. I always recommend pumping at least once a day in order to start a reserve freezer stash.

· Invest in a deep freezer and pump a lot before your baby starts solids (the first six months is when you naturally produce the most milk before your baby starts solids).

· Working moms — In order to build up your freezer stash and have milk for a year to come or if you plan to go back to work: pump, pump, pump!

· Milk can be stored in a regular freezer for 4-5 months and in a deep freezer for up to a year. I use the ‘Medela milk storage bags’ and labeled them with date and ounces.

· Be sure to freeze in varying increments because once you defrost you cannot reuse or reheat. I stored in 2oz, 3 oz, 4oz, 5oz and 6oz increments.

· Be careful of blocked milk ducts if you plan to try to sleep through the night. Xander is 11 months old and I still haven’t night weaned him for a couple of reasons: a) to keep him happy and well fed, and b) to keep my supply up. He goes to sleep at 6:30 p.m., I pump at 11 p.m. before bed to add to my freezer stash and then he wakes at about 3 a.m. to nurse.

· It’s also a time of bonding for us when I go in and cuddle him in the middle of the night. I love our middle of the night feedings as they are so peaceful and tender and all about cuddling, love and true nurturing.

· Your baby will not want to wake up in the middle of the night forever, so my thought is to enjoy it while it lasts.

· Look at things positively instead of negatively. If you see it as a bonding time instead of a dreadful duty you will wake up happier.

· Please don’t make the mistake of having your hubby do a middle of the night feeding while you sleep. This is a sure fire way to lose your supply and get blocked ducked and/or mastitis.

· This goes for any time of the day your baby gets a bottle. Please have your nanny tell you the exact time she’s giving your baby a bottle and pump at that exact time so you’re on the same cycle. I can not stress how important it is to be on the same cycle.

· If you get blocked ducts and engorgement freeze cabbage leaves and put them inside your bra for instant relief. Our freezer was stocked with frozen cabbage for months!

· Whenever your baby gets a bottle you must pump.

· I still nurse Xander on demand and believe it’s always the best way. At eleven months sometimes he wants to nurse after four hours and sometimes after two, but I always take his lead. It’s far less rigid and more organic and natural to allow your baby to let you know when they’re hungry. I do pretty much always offer him the breast every three hours though and he lets me know whether he wants it.

Co-Sleeping helps build milk supply and is a great bonding experience.

· I believe in co-sleeping for the first six months. There are many ways to co-sleep. There are co-sleeping attachments for your bed or co-sleeping bassinets you can put in the middle of your bed. Or you can go the old fashioned route and just have your baby snuggled up against you, with the covers pulled down of course.

· I tried them all and eventually when Xander was 2.5 months old went the route of snuggling. He slept nestled in my breasts for six beautiful months and it was an amazing experience. Sure, I didn’t leave my house at night for that time or have plans with friends or see a movie or do anything but nurse and be with my baby, but nothing can ever take that away from us. Hands down I will do it again with our next baby.

· Six months is a perfect time to transition your baby to the crib. By this point, the baby will be on pureed solids and will be able to sleep longer stretches and will not be too overly attached to co-sleeping.

· Yes, of course it will be a slightly difficult transition, but co-sleeping for the first six months is invaluable for your milk supply and for meeting baby’s needs by easily nursing all night long without having to get out of bed. It’s easier on mom and baby.

· I also use ‘More Milk Plus’ supplements and ‘Fenugreek’ when needed. They can really help to boost your supply but must be taken regularly.

· Of course, eat oatmeal every day and drink a dark beer at night, these are both great for your milk supply. Limit the beer to one, though.

And lastly, words of encouragement: Don’t give up!!

· Breastfeeding is not without challenges but it is so worth it! I had severe blocked ducts, engorgement & mastitis. I had to go on antibiotics twice.

· I had a lactation consultant come to the house three times to help relieve my engorgement and help educate me on what to do. I did a ton of research. I refused to give up.

I promise there is another side to the madness at the beginning and it does get easy and becomes second nature. It will be something you will always fondly remember and cherish and something no one else can give to your baby. This is what we were meant to do as mothers. There is simply no comparison to a mother’s milk. It will make your baby healthier, stronger and smarter. Just say ‘yes’ to breastfeeding!”

CBS: How long are you planning to breastfeed your son? Is breastfeeding in public frowned upon in Beverly Hills? Do you proudly breastfeed whenever/wherever?

MT: “My original goal was one year but Xander has no idea he just turned one and to him it’s just another day he’d like to be nursing. He loves to nurse and I love to make him happy so I have no plans to wean anytime soon.

Sure, it’s a massive commitment and I can’t go out of town or leave him for more than a few hours, but honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. Ideally I’d love to let him self-wean. I want to get pregnant again this spring or summer so we’re just taking it one day at a time.

There are a great deal of women who nurse while pregnant and then even tandem nurse. I’d be a nursing rock star if I got that far. I just take his lead. I still nurse him whenever he wants. I’m not strict with him or on a nursing schedule. We are very organic with nursing and that’s what works for us.

I absolutely proudly breastfeed in public. When Xander was younger I used to use a cover but now that he’s older he tears the cover off faster than you can say ‘boob,’ so we leave the covers at home. It is the most natural way to feed your baby and it’s the norm in other countries to nurse until a child is three years old. If someone doesn’t like it, they can look away. The law is that a mother can breastfeed her baby in public, uncovered, anywhere and anytime and I am a law-abiding citizen.

I see many nursing mothers in Beverly Hills and think it’s great. I am the biggest breastfeeding advocate. I think it’s very sad when mothers who have milk opt to wean early just for convenience. Of course, it’s a personal thing but breastfeeding your baby is the greatest gift you can give and there is no substituting the bond you will always have with your child from extended breastfeeding.”

i have 6 kids, i nursed 4 of them….the one i nursed the longest has been my most UNhealthy child….colds, ear infections, strep throat etc……so really the healthy thing isn’t necessarily true. this woman is totally irritating anyway.

Anonymous

And you think the cause of this was breastmilk??

May

Wow, I thought she was annoying before, now she’s just too much. Seriously, no matter what Justin did or didn’t do, asking him to rub her feet was flat out disrespectful.

K

Wow, she seems very adamant in providing your child breast milk. Seems like the choice is up to the mother, no? I personally don’t feel my bond would be any stronger with my child than giving her formula. She’s very healthy as well. Guess it depends on the child and the family.

Anonymous

Of course the choice is the mother’s. No one said it wasn’t.

Daniella

Okay, seriously, a foot rub? Disrespectful.

And yes, I’m all for breastfeeding, but to say that formula-fed babies don’t bond with their mothers as well as breastfed babies is totally false. I was formula-fed, yet I’ve always had a very strong, consistent bond with my mother. Yeah, the early years are important, but I’m personally convinced that the older years (especially the teenage years) are where a bond will truly be tested & solidified. I’ve known an equal amount of breastfed & formula-fed kids/relatives whose bonds with their mothers didn’t survive those pivotal years, no matter how close they were in the infant years.

Ms.

Love Marika.
She is hilarious and very sweet.
Excellent article and while I don’t agree that the longer the better, I think it’s great that she has found what works best for her and her baby. It’s not a proven one fits all type scenario. We’re all different and sometimes breastfeeding isn’t an option.

Mamabear

Being from Australia I have no idea who this woman is or anything about her show.

What I am stunned to read though is that formula is pushed in hospital? Wow. Over here it is the reverse. I breastfed all three of my babies with a lot of perserverance and support from the midwives and nursing staff over two different hospitals. In my experience, if you want to formula feed here, it takes some convincing to get the staff on side!

Allison

And I think it’s sad you look like a tranny. They’re my breasts, and I’ll do with them what I like. Mind your business.

Anonymous

I think it’s sad that you are so affected by what a complete stranger says in an interview.

What a sad little fool you are!

http://goofymominaseriousworld.blogspot.com Jaime

I love Marika and I for one think it is awesome that a celeb is coming out saying that she does attachment parenting. She is one celeb mommy who is so hands on with her child, and that is amazing. And you know what? She isn’t saying that if you formula feed, then you and your child won’t be bonded! She’s simply highlighting the benefits as provided by professionals and her experiences. I am a formula feeding mom and really hate that everything is turned into a bf vs ff battle! I failed at bf and you know what? I still know that breastmilk has more benefits than formula, and I won’t bash the bf moms who vocalize the benefits of nursing out just because I feel guilty about my failure. Seriously look at the bigger picture, people; Marika loves her son so much just as we all love our children, and was trying to give advice to women who hope to have a successful breastfeeding experience.

Lakesha

When did foot rubs become disrespectful? I thought all partners did this.

Lakesha

Was it the nanny that was forced to do the foot run? If so, I do see everyone’s point.

Suzie

Marika is an amazing mother….she is very loving and nurturing! She clearly does everything within her emotional and physical capacity to provide Xander with the most fulfilling life she can offer…If you watch the show, you’ll notice she’s rarely even in a different room than her son. She’s doing the best she can, and no one has the right to judge a mother who clearly does her best to care for her child, regardless of what it may ‘seem’ like on TV.
Additionally, she asked Justin for a footrub, simply because he clearly wasn’t doing anything else to take care of the baby other than make cruel and jealous comments if Marika wanted to splurge on her child. At the end of the day, Justin, has given himself the self-proclaimed title of a ‘ladysitter’….which should entail taking care of the ‘lady’, especially since he was getting paid and wasn’t event caring for the baby at all! Justin couldn’t organize the breastmilk in the packages, he couldn’t care for the baby- so he was basically getting paid to do absolutely nothing but talk negatively about Marika for airtime.
Anyone who is half-way intelligent should be able to see how Justin just used Marika to gain popularity on the show, by targeting her as human pinata to make fun of her….Justin is very manipulative and made a name for himself at Marika’s expense….he’s still doing so, because of unintelligible viewers who think that making fun of a mother is entertaining….
Why should Justin or any other nanny get paid more than the market value of $15-20 an hour? Just because Marika might be able to afford to pay more doesn’t mean she should pay above market value….this is a capitalistic society and people get paid for the SKILL SET and RESPONSIBILITIES the job entails, never what the employer is capable to payout…FYI- staff who work at your local McDonald’s is paid minimum wage, but they are on their feet all day and work 100xs harder than Justin….McDonald’s franchise owners can also afford to pay more than minimum wage to employees, but they don’t because jobs pay out according to market value and skill set….Same justification as to why there’s is absolutely no reason for Justin to think he deserved higher pay. He might be getting paid $40hr now, but he also takes care of 4 children and I’m sure Ms. Faulkner’s child support payments from her ex-hubby are footing the bill….so that’s nothing to her either way…
Marika does everything in her power to best care and nurture for her child, if she feels closer to her child through breast-feeding….that’s great for her! No one, especially not another mother, should feel the need to judge a mother who does everything with the best of intentions, with love and provides a safe/healthy environment.

Anonymous

Suzie… you need a hobby.

Suzie

Anonymous- why do I need a hooby? Lol….were the basic principals of economics too much for you to comprehend? Is that why you felt that you needed to retaliate with a sarcastic comment to make yourself feel better? Sweetie, honey, booboo, I was simply stating my opinion. This is a public forum, no need to attack me and especially not Marika. You’re probably just another jealous viewer. Don’t hate, congratulate my dear… If you don’t have anything nice to say about Marika, you should get another hobby and stop being so rude towards a woman, a mother who is so loving towards her child. Stop the negativety…..I simply wanted to state my opinion in full, apologies if it’s too complex for your comprehension. Marika is an amazing mom and woman, I wanted to clarify just a few reasons why….

Tania

I 100% agree with everything Suzie said! She summed everything up so perfectly and gave me so much more of a wider perspective! Marika is an awesome mother and it’s so true that Justin did make fun of her for airtime! He was also so out of his mind to expect so much pay for sitting around to do nothing but talk cruelly about her!

Rhonda

Tania/Suzie- I agree with you guys too! Suzie totally hit such great points that I totally oversaw!

I’m sorry, but this irks me. “We therefore don’t have the luxury of spending $40 an hour on a nanny, especially when we know that everyone in our circle pays $15.”
Can BH nannies survive on $12 an hour? This woman buys dior slippers for her baby and says she can’t “afford” to pay a fair, living wage to the person who helps take care of her most cherished possession?

Hey lady, how about you raise the bar a little within your circle of friends? Maybe buy a little less and pay for what’s most important…