Photos

“My mom didn’t like regular family portraits, the ones where everyone cleans up and pretends to like each other, because that would not be an accurate portrayal of her kids. This photo is the second in a series of really freaking embarrassing at the time, but funny as hell now, family portraits. Our only obligation, aside from dressing for the theme, was to NOT smile. This was the most important and we would all get passed if we had to wait for another jackass to stop smiling. Sometimes it took forever. But yes, smiling was not allowed. This picture was the 2nd we had done. The first, we dressed in camouflage and toted water pistols in what has been lovingly named Camp Nicaragua. There was also the Lion Tamer, The Beach, and I think the last one was some Little House On The Prairie theme. But please, don’t smile.

“I had my camera to my face and didn’t see this random member of a Segway tour roll into frame when I hit the shutter. Judging from the groom and his groomsmen’s reactions, I don’t think they saw him coming either.”

“This is a Christmas photo shoot of my three boys, then ages two, four, and six. They were supposed to be posing around that box, which was a place holder for their soon-to-be-born sister (the photographer was going to Photoshop her in after she was born). We were trying to get the boys to look at the box in awe, but they didn’t understand. Then one of my sons found a crabapple and threw it right at the photographer…”