Gwen Stefani,Aeos ,AeuHollaback Girl,Aeu is one of the most baffling pieces of music of the modern age. It,Aeos got something to do with cheerleaders,Aeithat much is clear, judging from the chanting and the marching band that,Aeos honking and tooting in the background. Beyond that, good luck deciphering the song,Aeos ambiguities. We were so vexed by the mystery that is ,AeuHollaback Girl,Aeu that we have devoted countless hours to its study. Our conclusions are below. The first thing you should know, though, is that Gwen is not singing ,AeuI ain,Aeot no Harlem fat girl,Aeu,Aeiat least, we don,Aeot think she is.

Uh huh, this my shit Gwen is introducing us to her shit.

All the girls stomp your feet like this This talk of shit and stomping has nothing to do with actually stepping on feces. But what does it mean? From a reading of the later text, we can conclude that the song takes place in the world of high school athletics, and that Gwen is apparently leading the girls in a calisthenics exercise. The ,Aeushit,,Aeu we surmise, is what she calls the exercises she,Aeos teaching the other girls.

A few times I,Aeove been around that track So it,Aeos not just gonna happen like that Here, Gwen exhorts the girls to try harder as they jog around the track, reminding them that physical fitness is ,Aeunot just gonna happen,,Aeu but must be worked at.

Cause I ain,Aeot no hollaback girl I ain,Aeot no hollaback girl These lines are the most confusing, but their meaning will become clearer later.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit Gwen repeats this four more times. She wants to make sure that we are well acquainted with her shit.

I heard that you were talking shit And you didn,Aeot think that I would hear it Gwen has been the victim of some slanderous high school gossip, and she doesn,Aeot appreciate it. Gwen is 35 years old sliding into MILF status at this point, but we,Aeoll grant her some poetic license.

People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up So I,Aeom ready to attack, gonna lead the pack Gwen is going to round up a ,Aeuposse,Aeu of her girlfriends and retaliate against the person who,Aeos been talking ,Aeusmack,Aeu about her.

Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out Gwen is going to beat up the person who wronged her, after she completes the cheerleading routine that will inspire the football team to score a touchdown. Gwen has interesting priorities.

That,Aeos right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up It seems the entire cheerleading squad is going to beat up the person who spoke ill of Gwen; they have put down their pom-poms, and they are now ,Aeufired up,Aeu to exact swift and terrible vengeance on Gwen,Aeos behalf.

A few times I,Aeove been around that track So it,Aeos not just gonna happen like that Cause I ain,Aeot no hollaback girl I ain,Aeot no hollaback girl Gwen is apparently the captain of the cheerleader squad; she is the girl who ,Aeuhollas,Aeu the chants, not one of the girls who simply ,Aeuhollas,Aeu them back. Given that the squad is preparing to beat somebody up on Gwen,Aeos behalf, she,Aeos picked a strange time to remind them that she is their leader and they are her sheep-like followers. Gwen obviously rules her squad with an iron fist.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shiti [repeated four times] Again with the shit.

So that,Aeos right dude, meet me at the bleachers No principals, no student-teachers Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one So I,Aeom gonna fight, gonna give it my all We learn that it was a ,Aeudude,Aeu who gossiped about Gwen. She challenges him to a fight at the bleachers. If he imagines it will be a fair, one-on-one fight, he is sadly mistaken. Gwen and her aforementioned ,Aeupack,Aeu will pounce on him like rabid wolves.

Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you That,Aeos right, I,Aeom the last one standing, another one bites the dust Gwen,Aeos pack of furious cheerleaders leaves the boy a quivering, bloody heap behind the bleachers for the groundskeeper to discover the next day.

A few times I,Aeove been around that track So it,Aeos not just gonna happen like that Cause I ain,Aeot no hollaback girl I ain,Aeot no hollaback girl Having completed their ghastly work, Gwen,Aeos squad members return to the field and resume their cheerleading activities, as Gwen reminds them once more that she is the boss and they are all her bitches.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times] By calling her exercise routines ,Aeushit,,Aeu Gwen is showing us that for all her bravado, the character in this song secretly suffers from profound self-esteem issues. She is a complex antiheroine for an age of changing gender attitudes and expectations.

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S Here, Gwen steps away from this bloody spectacle for a moment to comment on the madness and ugliness of what we,Aeove just witnessed, and, by extension, the petty rivalries of high school in general. This shit is bananas, Gwen tells us, and we can only agree. And lest we miss the point, she spells it out. And repeats it another three times.

A few times I,Aeove been around that track So it,Aeos not just gonna happen like that Cause I ain,Aeot no hollaback girl I ain,Aeot no hollaback girl Back on the field, Gwen is still bullying the squad to carry out her routines. But now we see her in a new light, as the sad, lost creature she truly is.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times] As the song fades out, Gwen is left only with her ,Aeushit,,Aeu the mindless exercises that bring her no comfort from the raging emptiness within. As much as she ,Aeuhollas,,Aeu no one hears her cries for help.