Is Cleveland Cool? A Confused City Ponders No Longer Being A Punchline

Growing up in California in the 90s, I was basically only aware of Cleveland as a punchline. Even now I can still remember a handful of them. Major League. That scene in Naked Gun 2 1/2 where Priscilla Presley says she came out to get some fresh air, but it turns out she’s standing in front of a giant pile of dead fish. “I grew up on Lake Erie,” she says. “There’s nothing quite like it.”

Then came the ironic Cleveland love on shows like Drew Carey, or the 30 Rock episode where Liz Lemon goes to Cleveland to see her new boyfriend played by Jason Sudeikis, and it turns out to be a magical paradise. It’s funny, because who would expect that? Not from a city that’s literally used as a euphemism for unimpressive cities. How else to explain the oft-repeated quote, “there are only three cities in America: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. Everywhere else is just Cleveland.”

Usually attributed to either Mark Twain or Tennessee Williams, best anyone can tell, the quote first showed up in a 1975 book review written by neither of them. Cleveland hasn’t actually been a punchline since the Gilded Age, but it seems fitting that people in the 1970s wanted it to be, and 30 years later many have come to believe it so.

It’s tempting to feel sorry for Clevelanders about this, but I suspect that was partly the point. The plucky underdog role seems as much an identity they’ve chosen as something foisted upon them. After all, the corollary to that fake Mark Twain quote of which Cleveland is a punchline is that there are thousands of other unnamed Clevelands out there that people don’t even deign to shit on. I should know, I grew up in one. And in the rest of them, mediocrity didn’t beget cool slogans like “you gotta be tough.” (To be fair, I’ve never had to dig a car out of the snow in the morning. I honestly can’t even imagine. My people probably aren’t that tough.).

Point being, shitting on Cleveland is a pastime that seems to have been promoted most enthusiastically by Clevelanders themselves. When I told a Cleveland-bred friend in San Francisco I was going there, she said “oh, Cleveland,” discussing the place with the kind of patient smile normally reserved for a seven-year-old eating crayons.

I heard that they are working on a show for him in the vein of the Skip and Shannon show on FS1. It’ll be him and Mel Gibson talking shit about movies on the new Turner movie channel for millennials, Turner Movies Extreme.

I live in Winnipeg, and have off and on for most of my life. It’s hard to explain how much of a psychological blow it was when the Jets left, and consequently how happy people were when they came back.

In a 1990s context (the Jets left in ‘96) of budget cuts and an increasingly empty and poverty-ridden downtown, losing a major league sports team felt like confirmation of what everyone else said about Winnipeg. If the city is already a punch line, the residents will come to accept that about it.

On the flip side, getting the team back coincided (and contributed to) something of a civic renaissance, so for the city, it felt defiant, like “We know what you think about us, but hey, we’re not just a Podunk shithole, we’ve got a professional sports team in the smallest NHL market.” I’m not even a huge hockey guy but I can’t deny how exciting it was to be in the city the summer when they announced the Jets were coming back. So I get it when you say Clevelanders reflexively talk about their sports teams.

It was a solid review of the new biopic about him staring Teller. Vince used “Italian face” in the headline so I fear its been banished to the Uproxx detention camp for re-education with the naughty comments.

Great piece, Vince. I grew up in Cleveland and I periodically return for rad stuff like local pro wrestling shows and even UFC 205 last September. It is weird to see so many people out in downtown and people with a sense of pride. Seems foreign.

Also, since I know you like jiu jitsu, hope you got a chance to train at Brasa Strong Style in Independence. It is where Stipe and Jessica Eye train and they have a great facility and nice culture too.

There is still unfortunately, and I’m guilty of this myself, young people leaving after high school or college. After I told my physical therapist I was going to grad school out of state, he, with all sincerity, said, “that’s ok, just come back after you graduate.” I felt like a traitor.

Ok, last comment. The condescending “Oh Cleveland” people drive me crazy. I meet so many of them out here, and I don’t understand it. Poor Cleveland, they barely have any dumb haircuts and neon yoga studios.

I can’t tell you how good it feels to hear someone else point out that a lot of our current town pride stems from everyone suddenly wearing trendy pro-Cleveland t-shirts. I felt like I was taking crazy pills.