If any of you, my readers*, have noticed, I haven’t posted anything relating to me partying since September 29th. That’s because, in an attempt to transform myself into a mature adult and due to lack of invitations, I’m staying away from partying on purpose. I can’t handle it; I end up wanting to party all the time and I’m a worthless human being during the daytime (f.k.a. [formerly known as {f.k.a. is a time saver}] the time in between partying).

In that regard, my social time has been and remains occupied primarily by old people and children. And I really think that my recent q.t. (quality time [another t.s. {time saver}]) with them is shaping me into a well-rounded grown-up girl.

Without further ado, my adventures of adulthood thus far:

Old Person: I can’t find my keys. I know I had them a moment ago; they were in my hands, and now they’re gone!Me: Are they in your bag?Old Person: No, they were in my hands.Me: What were you carrying when you walked in?Old Person: My keys and the apple pie.Me: Could they be IN the pie box?Old Person: That’s very possible.

* * *

6 year-old cousin: Mommy, what is the difference between poop and poo?Her Mother: One is a verb and the other is a noun.Me: Nope. That is incorrect.6 year-old cousin: An action verb!8 year-old cousin: Because something is happening!Their Mother: Yes, good job! Both of you!

8 year-old cousin: What is mature?Me: That was sarcasm. He was being sarcastic. You don't know what that is, do you?8 year-old cousin: No. What does mature mean?Me: It has something to do with adults. 8 year-old cousin: Huh?Me: Like, making decisions and stuff. Being an adult.

(click on photo to watch video)

Let me tell you – there is no feeling more amazing than the one you feel when you’re able to pass on valuable and precious knowledge to one of your own kin. Purposefully not getting party invites has proven to be a best decision I’ve ever made.

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