Hi All,
I'm new to this site. This will be my very first post. I have been around a while, but on a different site. I've met a coule nice guys, but got a red flag after a while. One - always came to my house...I was never invited to his...made me seriously wonder. We only live 10 minutes from each other. The other was just to far and our schedules conflicted.

I am beginning to think that I am not cut out for the dating thing. I work with a lot of guys that do nothing but gripe about how their wives & girl friends dont "let" them go out with the guys, tell them what to do all the time, get really jealous, etc. yet they stay with them...I am SO the opposite of that. You want to go out...go, and have fun! I'm the exact opposite of jealous, and I'm not hideous to look at. I have a great job, my own house, I'm fun...(ok, borderline quirky) What is the problem?? I've been single now for years...YEARS! Is it my age? Am I TOO passive?
I really like who I have become in my 37 years of living... why cant I find someone else that can too?

21Comments

Hi All, I'm new to this site. This will be my very first post. I have been around a while, but on a different site. I've met a coule nice guys, but got a red flag after a while. One - always came to my house...I was never invited to his...made me seriously wonder. We only live 10 minutes from each other. The other was just to far and our schedules conflicted.

I am beginning to think that I am not cut out for the dating thing. I work with a lot of guys that do nothing but gripe about how their wives & girl friends dont "let" them go out with the guys, tell them what to do all the time, get really jealous, etc. yet they stay with them...I am SO the opposite of that. You want to go out...go, and have fun! I'm the exact opposite of jealous, and I'm not hideous to look at. I have a great job, my own house, I'm fun...(ok, borderline quirky) What is the problem?? I've been single now for years...YEARS! Is it my age? Am I TOO passive? I really like who I have become in my 37 years of living... why cant I find someone else that can too?

I just came out of a relationship. It will be three weeks April 22th. I found out that he was a constant complainer, never took me anywhere. Only offered to take me to a book store or a paint shop for a price quote for my car. He only came over , talked a blue streak, kept trying to make out with me and drank my coffee. Rven when I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk , he refused. And he supposedly likes long walks.
He hated all my interests and hobbies and was obssessed with his hunting, fishing, camping, archery, scuba diving , photography.We only had music and photography in common.
I am a huge NY Yankee fan and he would tell me that he hates Baseball. I never said I hate hunting.
Every week it was the same old redord, I hate my job, I hatemy boss,,I hate my apartment and so on. Worst thing he wouid say was , I hate this ride out here. I was only 30 minutes away.
Meanwhile he is telling me daily how beautiful and sexy I am. How we are soulmates, meant to be, been looking for a woman like me all his life, so glad to have me in his life, best thing that ever happened to him, most important thing to him, he misses me all the time, thinks about all day at week ,dreams of me at night, blah , blah.
I found out this man has a lot anger issues inside of him .
Worst thing I found out that he has an unpredictable explosive temper.
We were just talking about scuba diving since he was in the Navy at one time and suddenly he just stood up and screamed , "I don't have to stay here". I watched this man turn from Jekyll into Hyde and quite frankly it scared the hell out of me. I have not heard from his since. No I am sorry, no nothing. So as far as I am concerned it is over. Only thing was , that he had 3 of my new DVDS and I wanted them back, So I waited a week to email him , Very simple , not demanding .
He comes out to my place on Easter , knowing I would be with my family, and he left them . along with the cd boombox I gave him, the 30 cds that I took the time to burn and type the song titles to, and worst the photography coffee table book I gave him this past Valentine's Day,
The jerk admitted that I was the only girlfriend that he ever gave a Valentine's gift or a birthday gift to. . And the gift I gave him was the first one he ever got and probably the last.
He was being spiteful and childish because I would not forgive him for his unappectable behavior.Now I know why he has never been married, probably never will, and why he can not keep a girlfriend. I was number 4 and lasted 7 months. Number 3 lasted 3 months and numbers 2 and 1 lasted only 4 months. Hey I broke his record.
But, I am not giving up and neither should you. Join other sites , like I did. Get involved with your community, get invloved with your church, get involved with clubs of your interests and hobbies, voluntneer,take classes in your interest and hobbies. But don't give up. If I give up , then my jerky ex wins.

At lease you git dates, I am 24 and have only been on two dates and never had a boyfriend... I think guys can be blind and dumb. I either don't git asked cause their to shy, or something happens (like a lack of good taste on my part) and the guy agrees to the date only to be a no show, or like my only two dates... I played it safe and asked out guys that I wasn't much interested in but knew liked me enough to show up. I also had plenty of offers for sexual stuff with no strings but after the first and only time of doing that I decided I want someone I can care about so hear I am going with the flow and hopping that some guy that I can connect with will show up one day and sweep me of my feet... well I'm beginning to think I should burn my romance novels.... its obvious they have corrupted my mind with dreams of happy ever after. Oh well... I'm always an optimist so I'll keep on hopping and maybe one day all of us will git what we want.

The really funny thing is this.. I may get discouraged, but one thing that has remained with me throughout my life, and has helped me greatly, is my determination. Even when I get discouraged, I don't give up, I keep going back and re-evaluating the situation and trying to see what can be done about it... it's driven my family crazy for years.... but, what the heck, it's gotten me this far, so I must be doing *something* right! *GRIN* (Of course, driving people crazy isn't always a good idea!)

You are absolutely right sweetcarmel... that is a risk you take when getting involved with someone who is separated. However, I personally don't think that someone who is separated should be out of the question... I think it just means you have to do a little more work to really find out what the situation is really about and then make your decision if it's something you want to deal with.

Chris, don't let anyone discourage you. I personally understand how sometimes you are caught between the date the divorce is final and getting on with your life. I have a friend in the same situation and she just wants to be able to go on without being accused of cheating or something. I told her that she knows the truth and that's all that matters. Good luck sweetie!

i agree to a certain point ...it's funny i got into a debate with a guy on a similar subject on another site ....even though u are right that some people tend to jump to conclusions when they see separated ...the thing i've found in MY experience is that there's always one party who is not ready to let go...even though the other party has made up her/his mind ... i even had a friend once who's boyfriend although separated -his wife would come up with the most stupid excuses to get him over there...it put a strain on their relationship but in the end he got divorced and is now currently married to my friend, but those years were hell for her ...PERSONALLY...i like to see divorce since it means over, offically u are single.. but i understand where u are comming from since i saw what my friends guy with through ...it takes alot

parrot,
It's like this: If it were easy,and happened on a dime this site wouldn't be here. Dont give up.Finding something that's real, and works is HARD. Make no mistake. Out here are the player, the fakes, and plety of other who just plain don't know what they want. Sometimes it takes a long time. You gotta dig through a lotta dirt to come up with a diamond.

NAUGHTYBUTNICE1963 write: In regards to calling it quits, I can relate, all too well. For some reason, some people see "Separated" and jump to conclusions or assumptions without asking questions, and, quite frankly, I'm tiring of being treated like I'm trying to do something wrong, when all I *AM* doing is trying to get on with my life, to bring back into it a joy that has been missing for far too long.

Chris, don't let anyone discourage you. I personally understand how sometimes you are caught between the date the divorce is final and getting on with your life. I have a friend in the same situation and she just wants to be able to go on without being accused of cheating or something. I told her that she knows the truth and that's all that matters. Good luck sweetie!

In regards to calling it quits, I can relate, all too well. For some reason, some people see "Separated" and jump to conclusions or assumptions without asking questions, and, quite frankly, I'm tiring of being treated like I'm trying to do something wrong, when all I *AM* doing is trying to get on with my life, to bring back into it a joy that has been missing for far too long.

People really need to think before they write, and if they are going to voice an opinion, make sure they have their facts straight, and not make assumptions based upon what had happened in the past.. heck, if every one based his or her actions solely on the past, how would anything new happen?
Life itself is a risk. Take a chance, people, say hello and get to know the people... life is out there waiting to be lived :-)

I really understand. I have been posting ads on various sites for a few YEARS now and every single man that I have met wants casual sex; not a real relationship. More and more people tell me that the internet is not a place to meet anyone "real" and I always said no but now I am beginning to wonder....

Hi All........ I just want to say at least u are not alone.... there are many of us in the same situation. I have met a couple really nice guys but they just want to date not ready for a real relationship.......sometimes I get down about it but most of the time I am ok and just don't give up because u just never know when the rite one may just come along..... good luck to all.

I can completely relate, Parrot. I go through periods where I'm so frustrated I don't even want to think about dating--so I take a few months off, then jump right back in. I think Bubs had a good point in that you shouldn't pin all your hopes on just the internet. Get out there in real life & be seen! Someone *will* be able to appreciate what a great catch you are. ...And once he does, could you please set me up with his brother or cousin? ;-D

I think you all maybe need to remember this site is called Large FRIENDS ?...
Its about friendship, as well as dating.
I have met some lovely people here, and yeah, ok a few weird fellas too...But I enjoy the forum a lot, and the chat room that goes with joining the community too...
Please dont pin all your hopes and dreams on meeting the love of your life here, or anywhere else, for that matter..and who knows what or who will creep up and bit yer bum when u least expect it!!!

I know how you feel. I moved about a year and a half ago, and I've just had NO luck meeting someone special here. I tried a different site too. Got *one* date from it after 3 months. But I stay positive, think happy thoughts and hope that there's still someone special out there for me. Giving up would be too depressing to think about.