Single? 4 Steps to Become His It-Girl

When you are single, be upfront about your agenda, and your intentions

Are you single? If I can give you one piece of advice, it's this: Don’t be a name on a list. You’re better than that. With sincerity and confidence, you can easily become his #1 It Girl! Try these steps to be his one and only. You deserve it!

If you are single, first and foremost, be yourself. Have you ever found a good shirt, and bought it in five different colors, just because it’s there? Guys do this with women. Hooking up with five different girls that lack depth or personality can become a mindless form of habit for a guy with a wide selection. After a while, it’s human nature to crave a deeper connection, someone you can actually hang out with outside of a dingy bar or make conversation with in the light of day. I know, it’s fun to “be that girl” once in a while and you’re not always looking for a serious relationship. But when you are, remember that you are your own best asset. If you actually get along with a guy, and you think it’s worth making into something a little more than a weekend fling, it’s time for step 2.

Be upfront about your agenda, and your intentions. It’s not as crazy as it sounds; I only recommend that you don’t act surprised by your hook-up’s other situations and prospects if you sell yourself as a good-time girl with no need for commitment. I can’t sympathize with a girl that catches her boyfriendmaking out with another girl at the bar, after hearing that she wasn’t honest about her real intentions. Let’s be honest: whose fault is that? Do yourself a favor and tell your man that while you understand his desire to see and meet a lot of people, you’re not interested in being anything but number one. It might be hard, but it’s worth it.

I know it’s difficult to be assertive at times. But ask yourself sincerely: Are you okay with being one of many? If you can handle that pressure and you’re not a jealous person, then full steam ahead; you’re a stronger girl than I. Otherwise, will you be risking a worthwhile friendship if he turns you down in favor of other girls? Furthermore, is it even a meaningful relationship if he’s willing to lose you just in hopes of hooking up with other people? The answer isn’t always easy, but with closure comes peace of mind, and the freedom to move on to the next one.

If you’re getting the feeling that you’re his no. 2-go-to girl, and you’re not okay with that, face the situation head-on, but not aggressively. When he inevitably texts you around 11:00 p.m. on Thursday night, with an invitation to come over, reply with something that gets your point across without being a total bitch. “Look,” you can say, “I’m into you and I love hanging out. But if you’ve got other girls, I’m not interested. You’re free to be with whoever you choose, but I’d like if it were with me.” Without pointing a finger of blame, you can state your case: you’re into him, you’re into being with him, but not if you’re one woman of many. The answer you receive should give you plenty of insight about where you stand, and you can make your decisions accordingly.