Wednesday, November 30, 2016

If the best man's faults were written on his forehead, it would make him pull his hat over his eyes.-- Gaelic proverb

When we deal with our faults and imperfections, we are dealing with the basic issues of being a person. We can become bitter and cynical about the imperfections of others, or we can realize every person is incomplete but growing, just as we are. The way we look at the faults in others and the way we look at our own are closely tied together. In our spiritual journey, we must begin with the premise that no person ever achieves perfection.

Perfection apparently is not what this life is about at all, since perfection is nonexistent. We are lovable, and we can love in the process of living our lives. Since we are not perfect, we have to be accountable. We must have standards for our behavior and hold ourselves to those standards, admitting our mistakes and making repairs where we can.

I will try to acknowledge my mistakes and give up the idea of ever becoming perfect.

Today, understand that a substitute chemical to replace alcohol that alters my perception of reality is not working toward recovery from an addictive personality. May I also understand that "mind- and mood-altering chemicals" may not necessarily include prescribed medications. If depression continues to be a condition even in sobriety, for example, let me listen to reasons why anti-depressants may not compromise my sobriety but may even improve its quality. The debate in AA and other 12-step programs that any substance which alters mood costs us our sobriety is as old as the program itself. But the program admits it is not a medical one, and that tells me it is my responsibility to seek knowledge from qualified sources to determine if my sobriety is at risk. Today, understanding that the substances I ingested are not the same as prescribed medications, let me also consider the possibility that acting as my own physician may be writing my own relapse somewhere down the road. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016

AA Thought for the DayWe have slips in AA. It has been said these are not slips but premeditated drunks, because we have to think about taking a drink before we actually take one. The thought always comes before the act. It is suggested that people should always get in touch with an AA before taking that first drink. The failure to do so makes it probable that they had decided to take the drink anyway. And yet the thoughts that come before taking a drink are often largely subconscious. People usually don't know consciously what made them do it. Therefore, the common practice is to call these things slips.

Am I on guard against wrong thinking?

Meditation for the Day"The eternal God is thy refuge." He is a sanctuary, a refuge from the cares of life. You can get away from the misunderstanding of others by retiring into your own place of meditation. But from yourself, from your sense of failure, your weakness, your shortcomings, whither can you flee? Only to the eternal God, your refuge, until the immensity of His spirit envelopes your spirit and it loses its smallness and weakness and comes into harmony again with His.

Prayer for the DayI pray that I may lose my limitations in the immensity of God's love. I pray that my spirit may be in harmony with His spirit.

Reflection for the DayIf you're a negative thinker and are not yet ready to do an about-face, here are some guidelines that can keep you miserable for just as long as you wish to remain so. First, don't go to meetings of The Program, especially discussion groups. If you somehow find yourself at a meeting, keep your mouth shut, your hands in your pockets and your mind closed. Don't try to solve any of your problems, never laugh at yourself and don't trust the other people in The Program. Above all, under no conditions should you try to live in the Now.

Am I aware that negative thinking means taking myself deadly serious at all times, leaving no time for laughter - and for living?

Today I PrayIf I am feeling negative, may I check myself in the mirror that is the group for any symptoms of a closed mind; tight lips, forced smile, set jaw, straight-ahead glance - and not a glimmer of humor. God, grant me the ability to laugh at myself - often - for I need that laughter to cope with the everyday commotion of living.

Many who are active in AA work come to feel that they just can't carry on any longer. There is so much to do; so little time can be spared to do it; so few to do the work. There is a limit to their endurance. After all, a guy has just so much health, strength and patience.

When the burdens get too heavy and too numerous, take it up with the Big Boss, tell Him you like to do His work but that it is more than you can handle - ask Him for more help - and you'll get it.

A disorder means out of order, not the way things should be. Are we convinced that addictive behavior is counter to the way we are intended to function? Or do we harbor, somewhere in the back of our minds, the idea that we'll never change our habits?

Fear of change, unwillingness to change, and lack of confidence in our ability to change are all roadblocks to recovery. Believing in our capabilities is the first step toward clearing those roadblocks and realizing our potential in recovery.

Somewhere along the line we developed an addiction, but we don't have to be under its power forever. We can think about what a Higher Power would want for us, and we can decide to move toward that positive goal.

The roadblocks of fear, unwillingness, and lack of confidence will give way as we immerse ourselves in the Twelve Step program. We need help, and we have help. We give help, and we receive it. Changing to constructive habits may be slow sometimes, but it's always possible.

If I'm faced with a roadblock today, I will call on my spiritual resources.

Today, if my candle is burning at both ends with responsibilities, obligations and expectations, I will not complain or seek adulation and, instead, will practice gratitude and humility that I now am trusted to carry out what is asked and expected of me. But if I feel overwhelmed at times, I can fall back on the the edict "First Things First." The first thing is sobriety. Without it, there is nothing; with it, there is everything. The benefits sobriety bring include service to the sufferer who needs and wants to hear the message, and I should not shirk or complain about being in service. Not only does what I contribute to another soul strengthen my own against a possible slip or relapse, I need only to remember the days when I was drunk literally 24/7 and ask if those days were better than now. Today, my yesterdays are nowhere better than today, and today is where I will stay without complaining, without seeking recognition and instead ask in humility for His will and the power to carry it out. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016

AA Thought for the DayThe AA way is the way of sobriety, and yet there are slips. Why do these slips occur? Why don't we all accept AA and stay sober from then on? There are many reasons, but it has been proved without exception that once we have become alcoholics, we can never drink successfully again. This has never been disproved by any case we know of. Many alcoholics have tried drinking after a period of sobriety from a few days to a few years, and no one that we know of has been successful in becoming a normal drinker.

Could I be the only exception to this rule?

Meditation for the Day"We are gathered together in Thy name." First, we are gathered together, bound by a common loyalty to God and to each other. Then, when this condition has been fulfilled, God is present with us. Then, when God is there and one with us, we voice a common prayer. Then it follows that our prayer will be answered according to God's will. Then, when our prayer is answered, we are bound together in a lasting fellowship of the spirit.

Prayer for the DayI pray that I may be loyal to God and to others. I pray that my life today may be lived close to His and to theirs.

Reflection for the DayContrary to what some people think, our slogan "Let Go and Let God" isn't an expression of apathy, an attitude of defeatism or an unwillingness to accept responsibility. Those who turn their backs on their problems are not "letting go and letting God" but, instead, are abandoning their commitment to act on God's inspiration and guidance. They neither ask for nor expect help; they want God to do it all.

In seeking God's guidance, do I realize that the ultimate responsibility is mine?

Today I PrayMay I not allow myself to be lazy just because I think God is going to do everything anyway. (Such apathy reminds me of my old powerless self, the one that moaned that the world was going up in smoke, civilization was going down the drain and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.) Neither may I use "letting God" do it as an excuse for shrugging off my problems without even trying. May God be my inspiration; may I be an instrument of God.

Monday, November 28, 2016

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face,And show the world all the love in your heart,Then people gonna treat you better.You're gonna find, yes, you will,That you're beautiful as you feel.--Carole King

"Act as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows.

Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally, focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us.

The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about.

My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head-on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day.

" ...(W)e launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions."Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, Ch 5 ("How It Works"), pp 64-5.

Today, the "vigorous action" of the Fourth Step cannot and should not be done in one sitting. In our impatience and zeal to get sober, we risk skirting the depth of some steps, and the Fourth is vulnerable. Without depth and absolute honesty, and neglecting to come to terms with some issues identified in our moral housecleaning, the benefit and effectiveness of subsequent steps may be less than what they could and should be. I am required to submit to Step Four and honestly assess both my character defects and attributes. But I should not expect that I can honestly compile a thorough list in one attempt, particularly when identifying the "causes and conditions" of which alcohol was "but a symptom." After all, those defects will likely still be there tomorrow if I need a break today from the "vigorous action" that the Fourth requires. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016

AA Thought for the DayThe AA way is the way of sobriety. AA is known everywhere as a method that has been successful with alcoholics. Doctors, psychiatrists and clergymen have had some success. Some men and women have got sober all by themselves. We believe that AA is the most successful and happiest way to sobriety. And yet AA is, of course, not wholly successful. Some are unable to achieve sobriety and some slip back into alcoholism after they have had some measure of sobriety.

Am I deeply grateful to have found AA?

Meditation for the DayGratitude to God is the theme of Thanksgiving Day. The pilgrims gathered to give thanks to God for their harvest which was pitifully small. When we look around at all the things we have today, how can we help being grateful to God? Our families, our homes, our friends, our AA fellowship: all these things are free gifts of God to us. "But for the grace of God," we would not have them.

Prayer for the DayI pray that I may be very grateful today, I pray that I may not forget where I might be but for the grace of God.

Reflection for the DayOur faith in God's power - at work in us and in our lives - doesn't relieve us of responsibility. Instead, our faith strengthens our efforts, makes us confident and assured, and enables us to act decisively and wisely. We're no longer afraid to make decisions; we're not afraid to take the steps that seem called for in the proper handling of giving situations.

Do I believe that God is at work beyond my human efforts, and that my faith and trust in Him will bring forth results far exceeding my expectations?

Today I PrayMay my trust in my Higher Power never falter. May my faith in that Power continue to shore up my optimism, my confidence, my belief in my own decision-making. May I never shut my eyes to the wonder of God's work or discount the wisdom of His solutions.

Today I Will RememberOur hope in ages past, our help for years to come.Hazelden Foundation

Knowledge is of great value, and nothing of value is acquired without price. Wisdom is even more to be desired than knowledge, which can be but an accumulation of facts. Humility is greater than wisdom for there is no real wisdom without humility. The wise are humbled by the knowledge of the limitations of their knowledge.

No man is born with these characteristics, they are born of the vicissitudes of life. Sorrow, despair and failure are their breeding grounds.

One gift of sobriety is the growing awareness that we are complex, whole individuals, more than just our dark side. Defeated, we came into this program of recovery certain that our lives would be forever fraught with problems. Little in our experience made us proud. Surviving our hateful, painful, and confusing lives was our proudest achievement.

The moment we admit our powerlessness over our drug of choice and over other people, a fresh start commences. Becoming willing to let a Higher Power influence our lives gives us a chance to glimpse the brighter side of our being. We discover it was there all the time.

We'll always have both sides, the dark and the light. We're human. Nevertheless, we tend to strengthen the part of our self that calls to us loudest. Which side we hear is up to us.

I am a complex human being. I have the next 24 hours to live as I choose.

"There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen - we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don't delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), p 83.

Today, I can't take on guilt - or be guilted - if I am in absolute honesty cannot make an amend to someone I have hurt if that amend further injures them or someone else. This is a vital qualifier of the Ninth Step - that we make amends directly "except when to do so would injure them or others." But this isn't an out from making amends or accepting responsibility. It is possible to postpone making an amend if an immediate one inflicts hurt. It is just as possible that I can never make amends to someone if that person cannot be found or is no longer available. In any case, if for no one other than myself, I can make "indirect" amends by admitting my wrong in writing, in a private journal even if no one else will read it. In doing that, I am at least giving voice to a silent wrong. The benefit could be that the guilt or fear of being "caught" is powerless because I have admitted my wrong and responsibility. If today I take the Ninth Step, I must temper my "confession" with the qualification that an act of atonement now could do what the Ninth warns against - inflicting further hurt. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016

AA Thought for the DayThe way of AA is the way of sobriety, fellowship, service and faith. Let us take up each one of these things and see if our feet are truly on the way. The first and greatest to us is sobriety. The others are built on sobriety as a foundation. We could not have the others if we did not have sobriety. We all come to AA to get sober, and we stay to help others get sober. We are looking for sobriety first, last and all the time. We cannot build any decent kind of a life unless we stay sober.

Am I on the AA way?

Meditation for the DayTo truly desire to do God's will, therein lies happiness for a human being. We start out wanting our own way. We want our wills to be satisfied. We take and we do not give. Gradually we find that we are not happy when we are selfish, so we begin to make allowances for other peoples' wills. But this again does not give us full happiness, and we begin to see that the only way to be truly happy is to try to do God's will. In these times of meditation, we seek to get guidance so that we can find God's will for us.

Prayer for the DayI pray that I may subordinate my will to the will of God. I pray that I may be guided today to find His will for me.

Reflection for the DayThe Program shows us how to transform the pipe-dream of our pasts into reality and a true sense of purpose, together with a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. It's alright to keep our head in the clouds with Him, we're taught, but our feet should remain firmly planted here on earth. Here's where other people are; here's where our work must be accomplished.

Do I see anything incompatible between spirituality and a useful life in the here and now?

Today I PrayMay my new "reality" include not only the nuts and bolts and pots and pans of daily living, but also my spiritual reality, my growing knowledge of the presence of God. May this new reality have room, too, for my dreams - not the drug-induced, mind-drifting fantasies of the past or the remnants of my delusions - but the products of a healthy imagination. May I respect these dreams, anchor them in earth's possibilities and turn them into useful creativity.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Reflection for the DayIn the past, and sometimes even now, I automatically have thought, "Why me?", when I'm trying to learn that my first problem is to accept my present circumstances as they are, myself as I am, and the people around me as they are. Just as I finally accepted my powerlessness over my addiction, so must I accept my powerlessness over people, places and things. Am I learning to accept life on life's terms?

Today I PrayMay I learn to control my urge to control, my compulsion to manage, neaten, organize and label the lives of others. May I learn to accept situations and people as they are instead of as I would like them to be. Thus, may I do away with the ongoing frustrations that a controlling person by nature, faces continually. May I be entirely ready to have God remove this defect of character.

"Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic (spouses) and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. ...A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 7 ("Working With Others"), p 97.

Today, just as I was responsible for the consequences of my drinking, so I am also responsible to sobriety and recovery. Both are a gift, and they require nurturing and work to grow. "(T)he foundation stone of ...recovery" is helping others, that is, carrying the message to others who need and want it. But in our work, we must understand that we are also required to stress individual obligation to sobriety, that it is neither a right nor given without responsibility. The work of the truly effective and committed 12th-stepper is seldom limited to just talking to someone who cries for help. But the work to carry the message and in the process holding onto it is nowhere near the work needed to get and stay drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016