St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Oscar Taveras was exceedingly drunk when he crashed his car in the Dominican Republic last month—killing himself and his girlfriend—according to the Associated Press. The AP quotes a spokesperson from the Dominican attorney general's office, who says that Taveras was "legally intoxicated…»11/12/14 8:06pm 11/12/14 8:06pm

This weekend's Snowflake Regatta in Riverhead, New York, had to have the least competent group of rowers ever assembled in one place. Here's an attempted catalogue of all the damage: »11/12/14 12:30am 11/12/14 12:30am

High on the list of shit you don't wanna deal with when you're hammered is "carrying stuff." Having to carry literally anything that is not a slice of pizza while drunk is one of life's biggest drags, because your inebriated subconscious will do whatever it can to drive you to drop or misplace that stupid purse or… »10/13/14 5:21pm 10/13/14 5:21pm

Welshman Jamie Donaldson sealed a Ryder Cup victory for the European team with a brilliant wedge shot on the 15th hole this weekend. The next morning, news cameras caught up with Donaldson to see how he was enjoying his victory. »9/29/14 10:47am 9/29/14 10:47am

Sometimes the meandering course of one's #winning finds one drunk and craving Taco Bell of an evening, so one does the natural thing and has Gary fire up the car and take one's hammered ass to the drive-thru. »7/16/14 1:51pm 7/16/14 1:51pm

An inebriated Santa and his female helper in Poland went to the hospital for possible concussions Monday after their horse-drawn sleigh crashed into a wall. It gets worse for the holiday pair, though: Police might press drunk-driving charges against them. »12/25/13 11:22am 12/25/13 11:22am

This would seem to be University of Michigan president Mary Sue Coleman delivering a speech during halftime of yesterday's Wolverines game against Nebraska. She sounds HAMMERED. »11/10/13 9:21pm 11/10/13 9:21pm

An Idiot on the Field might have made history for being the drunkest Idiot ever recorded as she allegedly tried to jump onto the field during Saturday's Northern Illinois-Iowa game in Iowa City. »9/01/13 4:03pm 9/01/13 4:03pm

The surprising Minnesota Vikings are 6-6 right now and still in the hunt for a playoff spot in the NFC. Their make-or-break game is this weekend against the Bears at the MetroDome, and linebacker Chad Greenway wants fans to show their support by getting shithoused at the game. »12/06/12 2:30pm 12/06/12 2:30pm

Some drunk fans decided to mess with a Fulton County cop's motorcycle outside Turner Field after Saturday's game. He responded with a fist and a Taser threat, and they responded with drunk sincerity. The deputy is under investigation. »4/21/10 9:15pm 4/21/10 9:15pm

For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings.»11/27/09 11:30am 11/27/09 11:30am

Last week, we brought you
the story of Ivan Ukhov, »9/11/08 3:30pm 9/11/08 3:30pm the high jumper whose drunken jump has exploded on the internets. More than a million people have watched the you tube video which we've handily relinked for you below. Now comes news that mother Russia is not pleased with him. In fact, they're angry. How angry?…