Thursday Special ~ Medical Humour

The following alternative medical definitions of some common words come courtesy of The Washington Post:

Abdicate : to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.Balderdash : a rapidly receding hairline.Circumvent : an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.Coffee : the person upon whom one coughs.Esplanade : to attempt an explanation while drunk.Flabbergasted : appalled over how much weight you have gained.Flatulence : emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.Gargoyle : olive-flavoured mouthwash.Lymph : to walk with a lisp.Negligent : describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.Pokemon : a Rastafarian proctologist.Rectitude : the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.Testicle : a humorous question on an exam.Willy-nilly : impotent.