Giving LGBT families a voice in D.C.

The following essay is part of a series in which dozens of women will reveal what women they most admire. The series is part of “Women Rule,” a unique effort this fall by POLITICO, Google and The Tory Burch Foundation exploring how women are leading change in politics, policy and their communities. See more essays here.

In 2002, when Lisa Murkowski was appointed first female senator of Alaska, there were many controversies surrounding her entrance into the Senate. We all knew who she was, but what would she represent? Would she be an advocate for us as women, working mothers, military women and members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community? Could she stand up and bring the change we need to Alaska — confronting the male-dominated mind-set of the Legislature?

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So, with curiosity, we watched and followed her growth as Republican senator. It was a decade later when we came to appreciate the impact she would have on our family’s life.

I had the opportunity to meet Sen. Murkowski in 2012 at an event in Kenai, Alaska. Months later, my partner, Terri Huebler, and I received a message that the senator was recognizing our family as Angels in Adoption of the Congressional Coalition on Adoptions Institute for contributions on behalf of children in foster care and adoptive children. We made our way to Washington, D.C., four children in tow, for a week of advocacy training and enrichment.

We met with other adoptive families and with members of Congress discussing issues of foster care, adoption and the concerns of LGBT families. Sen. Murkowski invited our family to lunch that afternoon. She listened to our story, and the story of those in our community: the fears and frustrations, the reality of how it is to be LGBT, a parent, a member of the military and a resident of a state where there are no legal protections for those of us who identify as LGBT.

She listened as I described our family and heard my concerns about being openly gay and a member of the Alaska Air National Guard. She didn’t blink an eye. She listened, quietly and sincerely taking in everything and watching us as we did as any couple would do wrangling the kids around the table and looking to one another for encouragement.

In the end, her message was unequivocal: You have a voice in Washington. For us, Lisa Murkowski has not failed in her promise. She voted to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell” in 2011 allowing LGBT members to serve openly. We have seen her stand for the ability of all adults to be allowed to marry, whether gay or straight with her commitment to marriage equality; she has helped end discrimination in the workplace and has assured our community that discrimination has no place in the workplace or anywhere for that matter.

In announcing her decision to support same-sex marriage, she cited being impacted by meeting our family. “Despite signing up and volunteering to give themselves fully to these four adorable children, our government does not meet this family halfway and allow them to be legally recognized as spouses,” she wrote on her website. “After their years of sleepless nights, after-school pickups and birthday cakes, if one of them gets sick or injured and needs critical care, the other may not be allowed to visit them in the emergency room — and the children could possibly be taken away from the healthy partner. They do not get considered for household health care benefit coverage like spouses nationwide. This first-class Alaskan family still lives a second-class existence.”

She has truly taken on issues of civil rights for our community. But it isn’t just about LGBT rights or issues that make this woman stand apart, she is an advocate for all women, families, children, the native community and our military, both active duty and veterans. She helped introduce an amendment to the immigration bill markup to open up visas for many traditionally female positions — this was in response to the college-diploma requirements for new visas and the disparity in access to education for women in some countries. Although it did not pass, it was a stand for the rights of women everywhere. During the infamous government shutdown, she was one of three female senators who stood up to say “enough” and began putting together a plan to get the federal government open again. These women made a difference in ending this stalemate, they started the ball rolling and showed just how powerful we can be!

So why is it that this woman rules for us? For Terri and me, Lisa Murkowski has proved to be a strong, thoughtful, empowering leader for and of women throughout the state and across the country. Working tirelessly for what she believes is right. Empowering women to embrace and reach their full potential through education, persistence and determination. She is a woman with the power to make change. What she did for us was to open our eyes to the reality that one voice can make a difference. Her encouragement and her challenge to us as women, as mothers, as part of a rising community is to let our voices be heard. To continue to be strong and stand for what we believe. She ignited a passion for what can be inside us. We had never stepped very far outside our little box of security and invisibility until that afternoon in Washington. Today, we are advocates for children, women, LGBT families and nondiscrimination, and we take her admonition seriously. Thanks to lunch with the female senator from Alaska that day in Washington, our voices have been, and will continue to be, heard.

Victoria Green is an advocate for foster and adoptive youth and LGBT families, and recently retired from the Alaska Air National Guard. She and her partner, Terri Huebler, live with their children — Mercedes, Kelle, Allie and Leo — in Anchorage, Alaska.