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Like most of America, I headed out with my family over the weekend to view the Jurassic Park franchise reboot, Jurassic World. Walked in wanting dinosaurs, snark, and absurd situations (come on… there’s a scene with people in hamster balls! Who does that?). I walked out happy because that’s exactly what I got. Sure the film has its flaws, but I’m not expecting Schindler’s List here.

My bottom line is that I want my summer blockbusters to be a couple hours of fun, where I don’t focus on my real life. And that’s what I got.

I liked it. I’d happily see it again.

But I do want to discuss a few things- let’s just say spoilers lay after this point, to be safe.

First of all, what insurance company in their right mind approved this place being open? Sure, it’s been 20 years since the park first tried to open and disaster struck. However, there were two films after that… and it’s only been 14 years since the last one. And in the second one, a T-Rex destroyed parts of San Diego. These creatures are clearly dangerous! Lots of people have died or been seriously injured! In public ways! So how the hell did they get insurance? And don’t tell me that the billionaire bank roller was able finagle it… no company would insure this place. Ever.

Secondly… um, Bryce Dallas Howard was lovely, but her character, “Claire”, needed to be bitchslapped. Right out the door she is designed to not be liked. And really… though she had some growth moments, it didn’t matter to me whether she made it through the film. Which is not good as she was the female lead. I’m supposed to connect with her! I get that she’s trying to be a big fish and break the glass ceiling and all, but did she have to be so cold and off putting? I don’t like that you have to be an Ice Queen to succeed.

However, number three on my list of importance is Claire’s Heels. A) what? B) how? C) holy moly! How did she manage to wear those shoes for the entire film? My feet were killing me just watching it. Those things must have the most amazing Dr. Scholl’s inserts. I mean… they were what? 3 inches? And she wore them in the jungle, running over and around rocks, from dinosaurs, on all types of flooring, and um… just… the movie didn’t end with her kicking them off and having a deep bone weary sigh of contentment for not wearing them anymore. Those shoes were amazing. I walk 4.5 miles at work everyday (seriously)… I need these shoes.

I suppose I should talk about Chris Pratt. I just adore him. He’s delightful on screen. The Han Solo swagger, with some John McClane snark, and a touch of Mad Max badassery. Oh, and all that wrapped up in his performance of Owen… with just a touch of every-character-Dennis-Quaid-played-in-the-80s. I wanted to smack him, in a good way, and then kiss him before sending Owen back out to stop the dinosaur apocalypse! Good times.

Fifthly- what’s next? All the victims suing InGen? Is the fifth film going to be a courtroom drama? I mean… to quote Dawn, “where do we go from here?”

Next is the dinosaurs. Okay, it was obvious what the indominous rex was from the very opening shots, and because honestly, anyone playing around with dino DNA was bound to throw raptor in there. But overall, the dinos were fun. I would’ve liked more of Owen and the raptors. They were fun. And I’m sorry- the scene of him on his motorcycle in the middle of the speeding raptor pack? Rocks! So fun to see how the CGI/dinosaur technology has improved in 20 years. I mean… I still remember that first moment in the original film, with the T-Rex eye dilating… and then being able to see the entire beast as it roared… it was breathtaking. Not gonna lie- I was a little weepy with the T-Rex remaking a couple of shots from the original film. Nostalgia, mmmmmmm.

Alright there you have it, my thoughts on Jurassic World. How long do I have to wait for the next one? I want more dinosaurs!