Do not tell anybody, but sometimes, I feel like a cookie monster. Not the Cookie Monster, just a cookie monster. For unlike the Cookie Monster, when I see other people’s food, I do not go crazy and gobble it all up without a thought of the consequences or concern for whoever’s food it is. Instead, I wait until he is done and ask, “Are you going to eat that?”

I have been asking if people are going to eat their leftovers for as long as I can remember. It is because I just do not like to throw away food. I hate food to go to waste. If I was to place any blame on this response to uneaten food, I would place it squarely on my mother’s shoulders. She was the one who said, “Eat all your food. There are starving kids in Africa you know.” Of course, there are starving kids all over the world and I am not making light of them, but I bought the notion that any food left on my plate might somehow be used feed starving kids in some faraway land. Still, I cannot blame my mom. She was just trying to get me to eat my food instead of play with it.

Kids nowadays know that the uneaten food on their plates would not be able to feed anybody anyplace else. So when my kids are done with their meals, I just ask, “Are you going to eat that?” Or I just eat their leftovers after they clear their plates. I know it is a disgusting thing I do, but I just hate to see food go to waste. Then again, I hate to see it go to my waist too.

(It seems that I have gotten away from the topic at hand, but it is all relevant.)

Somewhere along the way, I changed from just asking people if they are going to eat their leftovers to desiring what was on their plates. Mostly, it happens when I am famished. When I walk from my classroom through the lunchroom at school, I can barely resist the urge to reach out and snatch that person’s piece of pizza or another person’s sandwich or somebody’s candy bar. And if someone has a cookie, I need to close my eyes and walk away before my mouth starts watering. It takes every ounce of my will power to keep from yelling, “Cookie!” while simultaneously grabbing and gobbling it down with one messy bite. Maybe two if it is a huge cookie.

I suppose if I had blue fur and googly eyes, I could get away with such antics and people would think it normal. After all the Cookie Monster gets away with it even if cookies are his sometimes snack now rather than his favorite source of nourishment. Then again, if I was always eating other people’s food or disrupting lectures by eating props or other necessary equipment I would be considered a nuisance rather than a cute cuddly character.

I guess I should leave the monster business to those who are good at it. For even though I feel like a cookie monster when I am famished, I am really just a fairly normal human being who still believes his mom, at least subconsciously, that other people far away might benefit from that last bit of food left on his plate. Still, it would be fun to yell, “Cookie!” then, pounce on somebody’s snack and gobble it up in an instant without any fear of reprisal. It would be fun to be the Cookie Monster instead of having restraint and keeping it all bottled up inside. But please, do not tell anybody that I am a cookie monster.

[Note: I could not resist posting this even though I am changing my eating habits and health routines. Check out my new daily (6 days a week) blog at MichaelTMiyoshi.com.]