Thursday, May 7, 2015

Ball Sports: 'Roid Rage and Road Rage

Back in the late 20th century, while still deeply in thrall to Fred-dom, I used to read the "rec.bicycles.tech" group, where Brandt used to tell everybody what was what. Like any Fred I was highly susceptible to the newest and latest gew-gaws, to the extent that I emptied my savings account to purchase the very first iteration of the Ksyrium. (It was an illness, I realize that now.) Even so, Brandt's authoritative and at times irascible posts resonated with me, and I began to realize and embrace the fact that I had retrogrouch tendencies.

The Kysriums didn't last long. One day I was Just Riding Along in Manhattan when a hormone-addled teen ran out into the street and kicked my rear wheel for no apparent reason. I didn't break stride, but the wheel went wildly out of true, and it was never the same after that--nor was my faith in bicycle marketing.

Whereas Sheldon Brown's Internet presence was that of the benevolent sage, Brandt was the admonishing parent, and his passing is a loss to cycling, because all of us who ride bikes need people to tell us when we're being fucking idiots. I won't pretend to be anything close to a proficient wheel builder, but thanks to what I learned over the years from reading his posts I've cobbled together some cheap wheels that have far outperformed those stupid Ksyriums, and I've also kept other wheels going by swapping the rim and saving the spokes. I've even got a Mavic MA2 still in service, which I consider a nod to him.

Sure I've still got a gimmicky wheelset or two, because when you're a bike blogger in the 21st century it's unavoidable that these things will come into your possession. I'm also still pretty Fredly, which means I remain liable to be seduced by new bike stuff. Still, Brandt's attitude informs my underlying attitude about bike stuff, which is that above all it should be serviceable, sensible, and sound. There's a lot of junk food out there in the cycling marketplace, and while most of us partake in it from time to time, it's important to see it for what it is.

I know very little about Barry Bonds because I don't care about baseball. I wouldn't say I hate baseball exactly, but it is one of those things I don't think about it until something reminds me of it, and then I think to myself, "Yeah, that should just go away." When people ask me "Yankees or Mets?" I struggle to figure out which team I give fewer fucks about, but I suppose if I had to choose a team to root for I'd go with the Mets, only because there's a strong correlation between driving like a fucking dickbag and having a Yankees logo on your car or person.

Anyway, apparently Bonds has become a born-again Fred (which is the worst kind of Fred really), right down to the Rapha jersey:

And funding a cycling team is laughably cheap when you've got professional baseball money:

According to public documents and records provided by Twenty16, Bonds has donated $104,800 to the team -- roughly half of that through the Bonds Family Foundation -- and raised $96,500 from friends and associates, including Will Chang and Trina Dean, members of the San Francisco Giants' ownership group. Cranmer's management company, Tam Cycling Inc., has 501(c)(3) status, and the team's entire 2015 budget is projected to be under half a million dollars.

However, naturally Bonds's association with doping makes some people uncomfortable:

"There's part of me that feels he can contribute," says veteran pro rider Robin Farina, CEO and co-founder of the Women's Cycling Association advocacy group. "On the other hand, it paints the wrong picture. We're trying to keep an image of clean sport. The sport does need people of his stature and stardom, but we don't need a mixed message for young athletes." Farina says her view is personal and not a WCA position.

Many people bemoan the fact that women's cycling receives so little support, and of course I agree. (Perhaps this is a calculated move on Bonds's behalf, since it's easier to deflect criticism by pointing out just how badly these particular athletes need money.) At the same time, it's hard for me to get too worked up over gender inequality in professional cycling, only because pro cycling as it exists is inherently unethical, and therefore it's unreasonable to expect anything good from it. It's sort of like fundamentalist religious groups: if these people are batshit crazy enough to encase themselves in plastic bags on airplanes, then how can you possibly expect these nutjobs to have anything approaching the common sense it requires to treat women as equals?

So anyway, here comes Barry Bonds with his money and his Rapha jersey and his crabon Specialized or Pinarello or whatever it is to save the "little girls:"

Those benefactors now include Bonds, who said he has no desire to throw millions at the problem but felt compelled to help. "I saw these little girls... and forgive me if I say 'little girls,' they're all so tiny to me -- how much passion they had for something they love to do, for nothing," he says.

My first thought upon seeing the photo was that in Portland hood ornament horseshoes has become the new bike polo, but apparently the driver (or the driver's mother) and the tall biker got into some sort of altercation, and then the u-locks started to fly.

As for the second cyclist with the mismatched socks, as it turns out he merely happened upon the situation as it was unfolding, and he was kind enough to email me an account of what he witnessed. Here it is, from the point of his arrival:

At this point, the gold BMW was exceedingly close behind us, blaring its horn. As I looked behind me, the lock was thrown (if I had to guess where it connected, I'd say license plate). As the tallbiker pulled a u-turn to retrieve his lock, he effectively cut me off, and I stopped. At this point, the car swerved onto the sidewalk and both passengers exited. I asked the driver (daughter) what was going on as the passenger (mom) charged the tallbike (it appeared to me as though she was ready to knock him off of the bike). The tall biker defensively extended his foot as he passed, neither party seemed to suffer any damage (though mom's phone dropped), and the tallbiker continued on his way. At this point, mom's attention turns to me, and the first thing she asks is if "this is what [I] represent". I tried to explain that I was just riding around my neighborhood, but it became clear that I was being yelled at by an extremely angry person, who was predictably less-than-reasonable. I left after mom started accusing me of being complicit, taking my photo, and denying all culpability- though she made sure to mention that she occasionally rides to work, lives between two greenways, and has friends in the "cycling community." As mother is yelling at me, daughter has retreated to the car, visibly and extremely upset.

Only in Portland does a motorist in the throes of road rage point out that she rides to work, lives near two greenways, and has friends in the "cycling community."

Here they just glower at you from beneath the flat brims of their Yankees caps, point their Jeep Grand Cherokee Limiteds at you, and gun it.

The inventor was very persistent about sending me a pair, but I refused for a number of reasons, not least of which is that when you have kids your bike lights become their toys and I don't need mine showing up at at school with an illuminated scrotum.

Also, I'd never use it in a billion years.

I'll give them one thing though, which is that it takes a rather large pair to ask over $11,000 for what is essentially a novelty item.

Maybe Barry Bonds will fund it. They could even offer a miniature set as an homage to his steroid use.

Never fell for the Ksyrium game, but I did buy a used set of Rev-X wheels. I guess that I was lucky that they never assploded on me, like all the critics said they would. Building and rebuilding wheels can save you tons of coin over the years.

apparently i'm early to the comments, but way late to internet phenoms like the Freshly Sealed Jew. 2013...wow, i need to check my internet - i always miss the good stuff and am left with things like Foxnews and BSNYC...

I for one am amazed they could find a helmet for Barry's massive skull.

This whole thing with "women's cycling needs more attention" is so annoying. People don't watch amateur cycling on TV either, it has nothing to do with gender.

I was a victim of Title IX in college. My sports in HS were swimming and crew. Both of the sports were dropped from varsity sports at my college during my time there because of the need to "balance" the programs for women and men.

I know it's the misapplication of Title IX as its intent was not to defund men's programs, but fund more women's programs, but the whole gender equity thing is crassly overblown. Especially when it is used by a cheating liar looking to earn back some public kudos.

I'm a longtime and consistent reader of your column. Every once in a while I leave a comment in the hopes that it encourages you to continue writing (if indeed you need any encouragement to do so).I thoroughly enjoy your writing and am grateful you continue to do it. Please keep up the fantastic work.

It happens in SLC too. I had a lady try to run me over and while I was yelling at her and telling her to watch where the fuck she was going, she was kind enough to tell me that she too rides a bike sometimes as though that made it okay that she had just tried to kill me. It was years ago and I am still somewhat flabbergasted by the arrogance and stupidity.

Oh, as for the Ksyriums: I had a pair once. They gave me years of reliable service. I don't think I ever trued them in spite of the fact that I am a fat bastard and I rode a lot. The rear wheel died when rim cracked and one of the spokes ripped out, but I think the front wheel is perfectly serviceable.

Unrelated: My buddy told me a story yesterday. He was biking like a mile home from his job and he had neglected to wear his helmet. While stopped at a light a motorist near him proceeded to heckle him about his unprotected dome. Then she told him he should be walking it if he's not protected.

I have mixed feelings about Mr. Bonds, but my good friend and bandmate (R.I.P. Mark) used to ride with him on informal rides in the Ventura/Ojai area. He said that Barry is a pretty affable fellow out on the roads, and exhibits none of the dickishness he was known for in the SF Giants clubhouse.

Heaven forbid he should "taint" the squeaky-clean sport of cycling with his sponsorships, though.

Excellent writing Snob. I lol'd at the Yankee drivers reference and my fellow slaves wanted to know what was so funny so I read it to them and they lol'd too. You'll be seeing a few more hits until you insult them and they run off.

Still riding my Ksyriums…nine years with no problems that I'm aware of, although they're harsh as shit compared to my HEDs.

1. Female*.2. 14 years to 24 years of age.3. No discernible baffi.4. I.Q. 14 to 24.5. Willing to consume vitamins and medicines for the good of the team.6. Not averse to night workouts and special one on one consultations with team director sportif Super Mario.7. Did I mention no baffi?

Trivia: Peter Magowan, the owner of the SF Giants during the run out of Barry Bond's career is, I believe, of the same Magowan family as Felix Magowan, CEO of Velonews during Lance's heyday. I believe Peter is uncle to Felix. Safeway money.

Way back in 1984, after reading a Bicycling mag article on custom wheels I decided to build my first set of nice wheels. I checked out Jobst Brandt's The Bicycle Wheel from the library and taking his advice I bought some 36 hole Campagnolo Nuovo Record hubs, a handful of DT Spokes and Mavic E2 rims. Following the instructions I laced, tensioned, stress relieved and finally trued them using the brake calipers on my bike. Those wheels lasted for many years of abuse, including 2 seasons of cat 4 racing finally and terminally tacoed the front. It's now 2015 and I'm still using that front hub now laced with DT spokes to a Mavic OpenPro rim.

Jobst was an uber curmudgeon, but when he was right, he was right. And 36 hole, box section, double eyeleted rims laced with DT spokes to a low flange hub is about as right as a wheel can be.

A couple of days ago I put a copy of The Bicycle Wheel in my Amazon basket. I didn’t complete my purchase right then (I needed to add a new card), but when I returned to my task the next day — after Jobst Brandt had died — I found that the price had gone up by more than a dollar.

Why the weird animosity towards Barry Bonds? The guy has done a shit ton of charity work over the last 25 years (that he doesn't seek press from--he actually detests the press). Have you seen how big he was/is? Every freakin' woman looks little to him, especially 93lb cycling waifs.So he doped--although it was actually never proven in court. The guy gave some money to needy cyclists shouldn't we just say "OK, I guess that's cool" and move on? Seems like you have a silly double standard when someone wealthy advocates for cycling as opposed to someone poor. More cyclists = better for all, 'nuff said.

Snob, You are known as a resident expert in the field of velo related useless information. What I want to know is do you think that Jobst Brandt would have lived past 80 had he, back in the day, ridden wearing a helment?

I followed his book the Bicycle Wheel religiously for building dozens of wheelsets for self and friends. Solid. Appreciated the way he called Brooks saddles "Ass Hatchets" for their tendency to reform with a ridge in the middle after being wet. Made me laugh. Love my Brookses... all 5 of them.

Look what happens when you dope. You make Barry Bonds money! And now he'll give you some!

You know what happens when you stand between two mirrors pointed at each other? It's like that.

The sad thing really is that $500,000 is actually paying maybe two people on that team besides the team manager. One of them earning barista wages. The rest are "pro" in name only. Basically, free travel and some discounts on kit. USAC takes a nice tax on that sponsorship too!

I've just finished reading your Manifesto. Very interesting take on who should live and who should not. Hey! I'm sorry I can't supply you with the C4 plastique that you require to finish your project. I'm all out of stock. Keep in touch. J.J.

Excellent remembrance of the ultimate retro-grouch, snobby. Jobst was as bad ass as he was unique - industry outsider, inventor of "underbiking", and a brilliant mind. With Sheldon already gone and now this, who is left to carry the torch?

I think it's one of the Top Ten Commandments that the well Pharaoh brought down from Mt. Everest. Commandment 8.5, article 6, whereas it states, 'One must totally encase oneself in polyethylene plastic while flying over graveyards.'

I hope you guys are also following voyage of the recreated French ship Hermione, even though it was reported more than two weeks late by NPR.

It surely will be the event of the late spring / summer, and every news outlet, including BSNYC will be forced to cover it.

The NYTimes covered it timely, as did many other news outlets. It left France April 18, and has already sojourned for five days, May 1-5, at the port city of Las Palmas, Gran Canaria, part of the Canary Islands, a Spanish possession, off the coast of Africa.

After reaching Yorktown, Virginia, planned for June 7, it will make its way up the eastern seaboard, and help New York City celebrate the Forth of July, when it docks in NYC July 1-4.

The website is: http://www.hermione.com/accueil/, and I have to say, they are right on top of the social media, and their blogues, in French, are the best, and there is an English mirror site, but I like the French better.

It is going to be the event of the season, and right NOW, they are making their way, little by little, in a tall, newly built ship, across the Atlantic!!

Let's give them a little prayer that all goes well and that there are no deaths and no one falls off the rigging and is lost at sea.

Dear Shipsnob: The Hermoine sounds swell. It reminds me of my days Tramp Steamer racing out of Patagonia. We flatted coming around the corner at Terra del Fuego and had to lay up while they waited for a new tube to arrive from southern Chile. We had to send the first one back because it was a schrader valve, and not a presta valve.

Excellent post, Snobi Wan. Loved the bitty balls bit at the end. Heh heh. I needed a chuckle today. Oh, and Thank You for mentioning the struggle for parity between the sexes. Hats off. You are a gem amongst men.

So on the CBC's show The Current this morning, there was a piece about pay disparity between the sexes. Even amongst women who have the same education, the same experience, who work the same hours and who have not taken time off for child rearing, women earn (on average) $8000 less per year than men. And you may not be aware, but it costs a fuck of a lot more to be a woman, too. Look at the price of haircuts. Clothing. Drycleaning. FUCKING TAMPONS!! Feminine hygiene products have a fucking LUXURY tax on them, as if any woman could do without them.

So. I am sorry you think it's crass, Mr Potbelly Joe, but I take exception to your comment about gender equity. At last year's Superweek, the organisers were bragging about how there was pay parity between the mens and women's races, and yes, the podium prizes were the same, but the primes at the crtieriums were unbelievably unfair. The women had a hundred dollar prime every five laps. The men started at a hundred, but not only did they have way more primes, they also had prizes ranging from one hundred to eight hundred dollars a lap. And so as a man enjoying more money for the same job it is more than a little crass that any man should object to somebody raising the whole gender equity issue. It is a far fucking way from overblown.

"I've just finished reading your Manifesto. Very interesting take on who should live and who should not."

Not sure what you have read, but if it says "who should live and who should not" someone else wrote.

"I'm sorry I can't supply you with the C4 plastique that you require to finish your project.

I finished my part of the project, as I agreed to after my writings were published in 2 major newspapers. While I was working on it I used black powder I made myself, by hand, from raw materials. I did not need materiel manufactured by the Industry Complex.

I remember when Barry Bonds was a skinny young playa for the Buccos - Bonds and Bonilla - never delivered a Series but they made many playoff runs - like Lance I think personality had something to do with the level of scrutiny applied to the drug abuse

AND I find myself in Portland for workie - here at same time as Mr. President - just saw Chris King on the news (talking about exporting beik parts)

just fyi, Bonds is/has been dating Mari Holden (Word TT Champion, Silver Medal Olympian) who is one of the team directors of Twenty16....... for a number of years. So it isn't SO MUCH of a coincidence that he's pretty heavily involved. He's been going to Tour of California with her and riding in the team car for at least a couple yeras.

Remind me why biek-riders have to represent the wholedom of biekers including the ones who run red lights blah blah blah? None of the other oppressed and/or menaced minorities to which I belong seems to carry this obligation.

I'm bitter my favorite sports were effectively cancelled because of the misapplication of a law.

I get that races and prizes are heavily titled towards men, but there are also typically far more male racers, and therefore races, meaning they also have a greater share of sponsorship $. It sucks.

I work for a company that actively balances pay for men and women. I support equal pay for men and women based on their merit.

When it comes to sports, you should be paid on take at the gate and concessions. If they are lower for women's events and the participants are equal in count (i.e WNBA) guess what has to drop? compensation.

And yet studies consistently show that men are evaluated on potential whilst women are evaluated on performance. There are fewer women in the sport because there is less exposure for women's events. It's a chicken and egg sort of thing whose causes are many and deep rooted. Like systemic racism. It is a conversation we are duty bound to hold, no matter how distasteful the discourse.

While there may be multiple Ted K's, I am thus far the only Ted K Critic. Well except for all the other Ted K critics (lowercase c). Anyway if he doesn't post any more manifesto bits then I guess I'm out of a job.

I agree that evaluation of women and men in the work place should be fair and equitable.

Just as i believe that sports should be fair and equitable.

If more fans pay more money to watch and more TV viewers watch so sponsors pay more, why should it not be that men's sports are better supported?

On one hand you preach equity and the other you preach the opposite.

I think sports are crucial to the development of boys and girls and teach valuable lessons. Pro or compensated sports are different than youth leagues through to college. Once it's away from amateur participation, compensation, sponsorship and all else should be on the performance of that event to bring in its own dollars.

Well said potbelly. sad that the snob is playing it safe on the topic. It's entertainment you're not entitled to an audience or a living . There's either a market for it or not. not an example from the pros. But checkout the field for the recent mission crit. maxed field of ~60 men and a field of 8 women. Same payouts is that "fair"? considering most of the money came from people buying tickets to mainly see the men racing and entry fees from the men.

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!