How open are british sylheti girls to marrying North American born sylheti boys?

Hello.

I'm a 6foot tall, fair skinned( mentioned my skin tone only to justify my preference for fair skin) religious/pious Canadian born bengali of sylheti origin. I'm at a point in my life where my parent's are considering looking for bridal prospects for me. As crappy as it may sound, I'm actually pretty picky when it comes to picking the right girl.

For me she has to be at least 5ft5( which is a rarity among bengali/sylheti girls), hijab wearing and religious; fair skinned with non- bengali looking face. Finding sylheti girls fitting such criteria in Canada is extremely hard with the biggest drawback being the sylheti girls in Canada are just not religious enough or too liberal, and the sylheti pop is relatively small among the 24 thousand bengalis living in Canada.

I know that the Uk has over 500 thousand sylhetis living there, I've seen plenty of educated, pretty + religious sylheti girls in the Uk before; fitting my criteria for the most part.

This question is for all the british sylheti members on this forum. Based on observations you've made or personal experiences, how open are the families of british sylheti girls or the girls themselves to marrying North American born sylheti boys?

Originally Posted by One World
I could never fathom why Sylheti’s want to get married within their region, people originated from other regions on average are found to be much more liberal in tthis matter?

This very true for Sylhetis. One Sylheti guy once said the cultures of other districts are too different from Sylheti culture.

Of course I did not believe it. The main reason is some inherent bias (to put it mildly and I am speaking in general and not referring any negative about the opening poster in any way). This is common throughout in BD.

Ever heard of BNCC? Barisal, Noakhali, Comilla, and Chadpur - means automatic blacklist with regards to marriage for many in BD. No amount of reasoning can overturn it.

The same thing is also prevalent among Pakistani and Arab culture. Especially the girl's dad will be OK marrying off her daughter with a cab driver of same ethnicity over marrying her to a prince of another nation. Other ethnicity = over my dead body.

__________________
Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself- AJH| Don’t disrespect your life by living aimlessly – set goals and work hard to attain them.

Originally Posted by adamnsu
I don’t understand the underlying reason behind this question.

But how many British females do you see married in North America?

The underlying reason is simple, there are 24 thousand bangladeshis in Canada, only a few thousands from that would be sylehti. I'm a 6ft tall fair skinned guy - who's often mistaken as Pakistani by Pakistanis in the mosque and non-sylhetis - preferring a tall, religious girl who also doesn't look like your average bengali girl. I think my chances of finding such a girl is exponentially higher among a population of 500,000 sylhetis in the UK, hence I ask how open are british sylheti familes in giving away their daughters to sylhetis families in other countries.

The only british born sylheti I know who moved into Canada is my Sasi, who married my sasa who was living in Canada around 1990.

The first gen young sylhetis in Canada are pretty different, a lot of them end up marrying into non-sylheti familes these days, usually those sylhetis that are marrying into non-sylheti familes are pretty liberal and not too religious either. As a result the demand for sylheti wife is not that stringent, and hence they don't even give a second thought about british sylhetis. I've probably attended 2 pure first gen Canadian sylheti weddings in the last decade - both weddings involved religious conservative families. The only sylheti diaspora imports into Canada I know of is my cousin who married a sylheti from Dubai, and another canadian sylheti guy who married and imported a sylheti girl from Saudi.

Taking all into account I can't really gauge the likelyhood of british sylhetis willing to move to Canada, because I don't think it's been attempted much; Hence another reason why I ask the question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roey Haque
Why not Habiganj?

My Moulvibaazari family does not like habiganj people too much, as they are not religious enough and are interested in arts and music far more in addition to being more hindu influenced- something I also myself have personally observed from habiganj people in living in Canada. Also they don't speak proper sylheti.

Originally Posted by shibal
The underlying reason is simple, there are 24 thousand bangladeshis in Canada, only a few thousands from that would be sylehti. I'm a 6ft tall fair skinned guy - who's often mistaken as Pakistani by Pakistanis in the mosque and non-sylhetis - preferring a tall, religious girl who also doesn't look like your average bengali girl. I think my chances of finding such a girl is exponentially higher among a population of 500,000 sylhetis in the UK, hence I ask how open are british sylheti familes in giving away their daughters to sylhetis families in other countries.

The only british born sylheti I know who moved into Canada is my Sasi, who married my sasa who was living in Canada around 1990.

The sylhetis in Canada are pretty different, a lot of them end up marrying into non-sylheti familes these days, usually those sylhetis that are marrying into non-sylheti familes are pretty liberal and not too religious either. As a result the demand for sylheti wife is not that stringent, and hence they don't even give a second thought about british sylhetis. I've probably attended 2 pure Canadian sylheti weddings in the last decade - both weddings involved religious conservative families. The only sylheti diaspora imports into Canada I know of is my cousin who married a sylheti from Dubai, and another canadian sylheti guy who married and imported a sylheti girl from Saudi.

Taking all into account I can't really gauge the likelyhood of british sylhetis willing to move to Canada, because I don't think it's been attempted much. Hence why I ask the question.

My Moulvibaazari family does not like habiganj people too much, as they are not religious enough and are more interested in art and music far more in addition to being more hindu influenced. Also they don't speak proper sylheti.

I hope you the best in your search. As you have just entered the realms of arranged marriage, it is quite common to be picky. TBH you should also forgive anyone reading your comments think that you are quite conceited about your non Bangladeshi looks and height.

Anyways, Sylethis are extremely tribal. From what I have seen they first prefer to marry someone from their own city in UK. Some traditional ones look for someone from Bangladesh l. Only one guy I saw married a Canadian. Girl came to UK, hated it and forced guy to move to Canada.

In terms of stats, are you saying there is 500k sylheti girl’s for marriage? If so then you have got your info quite wrong.

Also if you have seen so many Brit Sylethis surely you would have some contacts which have you the platform to see them?

Originally Posted by adamnsu
I hope you the best in your search. As you have just entered the realms of arranged marriage, it is quite common to be picky. TBH you should also forgive anyone reading your comments think that you are quite conceited about your non Bangladeshi looks and height.

Anyways, Sylethis are extremely tribal. From what I have seen they first prefer to marry someone from their own city in UK. Some traditional ones look for someone from Bangladesh l. Only one guy I saw married a Canadian. Girl came to UK, hated it and forced guy to move to Canada.

In terms of stats, are you saying there is 500k sylheti girl’s for marriage? If so then you have got your info quite wrong.

Also if you have seen so many Brit Sylethis surely you would have some contacts which have you the platform to see them?

Thank you for answering my question my fellow Canadian.

Yes indeed I'm not really trying to show any pride in my looks, I'm just trying to justify why I'm looking for the girl I'm looking for.

I'm just answering the age old question when it comes to guys demanding insanely beautiful girls: "well have you looked at your self in the mirror?"

The total bengali population(both men and women) in the uk is almost 500,000, 95% of that 500, 000 bengali population is sylheti. So the odds are very high for finding the right girl I would say relatively speaking.

Originally Posted by shibal
Thank you for answering my question my fellow Canadian.

The total bengali population(both men and women) in the uk is almost 500,000, 95% of that 500, 000 bengali population is sylheti. So the odds are very high for finding the right girl I would say relatively speaking.

Yes we do have contacts/mediators in the Uk, family is planning on passing on a biodata to them sometime this week . The biggest factor really is how willing is the girl in moving.

The biggest factor is actually the girl has to like you first. You are not the only one picky. That’s why girls and boys here are getting married a bit later than they used to 10 years ago so I have heard.

Most girls I have seen here tend to marry close to their home town.

Educated families here don’t care much of which part of Syleth one is from as long as the family and the candidate come from a good family.

Originally Posted by adamnsu
The biggest factor is actually the girl has to like you first. You are not the only one picky. That’s why girls and boys here are getting married a bit later than they used to 10 years ago so I have heard.

Most girls I have seen here tend to marry close to their home town.

Educated families here don’t care much of which part of Syleth one is from as long as the family and the candidate come from a good family.

Yes I agree that attraction is a factor as well, but before you even get talking with girl for the purpose of attraction, you might be screened out solely because you are not from England despite having checkmarks on everything else.

Yes indeed that's what I appreciate about sylheti people, they care more about family background and religion than education for the most part.

let's see:
- atleast 5'5": check
- religious/pious: not a problem
- "fair skinned with non- bengali looking face": no worries, no one will be able to tell behind the niqab alhamdulillah. Just tell your friends she looks like Angelina Jolie.

Now the better question is, what can you offer a girl that she cant get in the UK?

Originally Posted by shibal
Yes indeed that's what I appreciate about sylheti people, they care more about family background and religion than education for the most part.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shibal
My Moulvibaazari family does not like habiganj people too much, as they are not religious enough and are interested in arts and music far more in addition to being more hindu influenced

Originally Posted by Yankees
Now the better question is, what can you offer a girl that she cant get in the UK?

Oops!!!

__________________
Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself- AJH| Don’t disrespect your life by living aimlessly – set goals and work hard to attain them.

Originally Posted by One World
I could never fathom why Sylheti’s want to get married within their region, people originated from other regions on average are found to be much more liberal in tthis matter?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roey Haque
Why not Habiganj?

Sylhetis are just more insular than other Bangladeshis. I think the cultural differences are minor issues wherever they exist. Language barrier might be a hindrance for some since a lot of Sylhetis can't really speak shuddo bangla.

But it sometimes extends beyond that. Even being Sylheti is sometimes not enough for some people...Sylhetis often have prejudices against Sylhetis from certain other villages. For example, Golapganj and Beanibazar are in the same district (Sylhet district), in fact they are neighboring Upazillas, yet they are mortal enemies. Its kinda funny actually.

Shibal bro, this doesn't even seem like a serious thread, but a few words of advice.

Its OK for someone to have a preference for whatever attribute you're looking for. You have that right. But the pickier you are a) the harder it will be for you to find a suitable spouse and b) people will criticize you for excessive pickiness. So if a girl only wants a doctor for a husband, or its a guy like you who wants his wife to be duudor lakhan shada, everyone has that right to preference without being judged. You want a wife from Sylhet? Nothing wrong with that...I do too and I don't even have rational reason for it. Some people their parents wouldn't accept a non-Sylheti spouse, but mine don't care.

But posting pics of random girls on a cricket forum just to make a point? Thats weird and uncalled for, bro.

Harping on and on about your "Pakistani" looks will come off as being conceited at the best and racist at the worst. There are "fair skinned" or "non-bengali" looking people from every district of Bangladesh. And there are plenty of "bengali" looking people from Sylhet. Religousity is also something that you will find everything off in all districts. Yes UK Sylhetis tend to appear as more "religious" but religiousness isn't defined by wearing hijab, or having a beard, or saying mashallah/subhanallah all the time, or even by going to jummah prayer every Friday.

Shibal bhai, youre in luck. I happen to know the premier sylheti matchmaker in the UK. I've told him about your specific requirements and he found 3 girls. Please see below and if youre interested, we can talk next steps.

1) First up is lovely Amaya. As you can see, she is not short of looks. With a height of 5'8", she is sure to turn heads. She definitely has a wild side, I mean just look at the way she carelessly rides the swings. Why not tame her and make her your?

2) ahh what have we here? Selfie queen? Baap re baap. As you can see, Sumaya is perhaps more British then Sylheti. What she lacks in piousness, she more than makes up for in her appearance. Look at those Pakistani looking eyes, the Persian chin, and those European fingers. A non-bengali looking girl fit for our bengali prince!

3) Last but not least, we have the marvelous Mohona. Broad shoulders, head held high, a high school dropout, what more could your parents want? Definitely the most pious of the 3 - no Sir, no hindu influence in this household. But if you think she can't handle the modern society up in that frozen tundra you call Canada, then let me paraphrase a famous rapper and say what we have here is a lady in the sheets, alhamdulillah on the streets!

I think some of us have answered the OPs question but from what I have gathered he has already made his own assumptions and just wants one of us to yes man you have a better chance of bagging the girl of his dreams.

I think he has more chance of striking gold in Syleth itself as education doesn’t seem to be a factor for him and the population size is much more bigger. A girl from Bangladesh can be more easily seduced to leave the country as to her a tall husband who looks Pakistani and has a foreign passport is quite a lucrative catch. why would a British girl leave her family and friends and move all the way to Canada?

Originally Posted by Yankees
Shibal bhai, youre in luck. I happen to know the premier sylheti matchmaker in the UK. I've told him about your specific requirements and he found 3 girls. Please see below and if youre interested, we can talk next steps.

1) First up is lovely Amaya. As you can see, she is not short of looks. With a height of 5'8", she is sure to turn heads. She definitely has a wild side, I mean just look at the way she carelessly rides the swings. Why not tame her and make her your?

2) ahh what have we here? Selfie queen? Baap re baap. As you can see, Sumaya is perhaps more British then Sylheti. What she lacks in piousness, she more than makes up for in her appearance. Look at those Pakistani looking eyes, the Persian chin, and those European fingers. A non-bengali looking girl fit for our bengali prince!

3) Last but not least, we have the marvelous Mohona. Broad shoulders, head held high, a high school dropout, what more could your parents want? Definitely the most pious of the 3 - no Sir, no hindu influence in this household. But if you think she can't handle the modern society up in that frozen tundra you call Canada, then let me paraphrase a famous rapper and say what we have here is a lady in the sheets, alhamdulillah on the streets!

jazakallah khair brother for your satirical post. I really appreciate the help man. However a girl does not have to be niqab wearing for me at all, in fact I don't prefer that as well and neither does the Quran.

Neither am I looking for uneducated girl. I'm just looking for a girl who is striving to make the time for her deen in her dunya.

On a serious note, what are the sylheti girls like in New York city? The few that I met during my visit were extremely whitewashed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by al Furqaan
Shibal bro, this doesn't even seem like a serious thread, but a few words of advice.

Its OK for someone to have a preference for whatever attribute you're looking for. You have that right. But the pickier you are a) the harder it will be for you to find a suitable spouse and b) people will criticize you for excessive pickiness. So if a girl only wants a doctor for a husband, or its a guy like you who wants his wife to be duudor lakhan shada, everyone has that right to preference without being judged. You want a wife from Sylhet? Nothing wrong with that...I do too and I don't even have rational reason for it. Some people their parents wouldn't accept a non-Sylheti spouse, but mine don't care.

But posting pics of random girls on a cricket forum just to make a point? Thats weird and uncalled for, bro.

Harping on and on about your "Pakistani" looks will come off as being conceited at the best and racist at the worst. There are "fair skinned" or "non-bengali" looking people from every district of Bangladesh. And there are plenty of "bengali" looking people from Sylhet. Religousity is also something that you will find everything off in all districts. Yes UK Sylhetis tend to appear as more "religious" but religiousness isn't defined by wearing hijab, or having a beard, or saying mashallah/subhanallah all the time, or even by going to jummah prayer every Friday.

Thanks for the advice bro. I only posted the pics because a poster straight up was mocking me for having a preference for a "egu re bangali laghe na" look. Again I only harped on what I looked like, so I don't come off as some random bengali guy demanding a good looking girl out of nowhere. I'm turning 28 years in a few months, although I'm very attracted to Pakistani girls, I never dared to chased them or any bengali girl in my life personally in Canada. For the patience, I'd like to think I'm allowed to have some stringent demands. I'm also very aware what I'm looking for is going to be tough hence I'd like to try my chances in the UK.

And yes I'm very aware there are a lot of fake hijabis out there in the UK, that's why my parents are very strict on family and girl background; that's something only a contact in the UK can investigate or can vouch for if the contact/mediator knows the girl and her family personally. The unique thing about the UK sylheti girls is that plenty of them have also gone to those islamic schools where they've been tought both islamic education and western education following the british school curriculum which allows them to get a good university education as well in addition to already having the islamic education.