RU a single motherless mother?

Kate - posted on 02/05/2009
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8 moms have responded
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I am 28yo & my mum passed away (quite suddenly to cancer) when I was 24yo. My dad lives overseas, but he comes to visit once a year. My daughter is 3mths old now. I just find it so hard not having a partner or either parent around sometimes & just wish I had that maternal/paternal support. And at other times I just wish I could have one of those motherly hugs, only a mum knows how to give. I hug my daughter so much and tell her I love her every time I put her down, be it in her cot, capsule or pram, or anywhere actually! There is this little part of me that is so worried if something happens to me that she will be all on her own.

I know how you feel. I lost my mom last year to a brain tumor. My dad is a truck driver so he isn't home all the time but he is just a phone call away. I am older than you but it isn't easier at any age. My mom was my daughter's babysitter while I worked at a full-time job. Now I work part-time and my teenage son babysits my daughter after school til I get home. Sometimes it gets overwhelming not having my mom and sometimes I miss the mom hugs too. An aunt or other older friends hug can be almost as good for you as your moms so if you have any friends that are your moms age talk to them and tell them how you are feeling and they will more than likely provide some support. I too worry about what will happen to my kids if anything happens to me. Thankfully I know that my teenager will take his sister but then what? He is just a kid himself.

Thank you, but I am actually still pregnant. Due on Mothers Day!! Geez. So I know the hard part is still coming but like Ashley said above, I am so looking forward to doing the things with my mom as a little girl. Since she died I have just lived in houses, home left with her. Well, now I can create that for her.

There is a book called Motherless Daughters that I highly recommend reading!! I read it again every time something big changes in my life, equally as much as pregnancy books. It is a collection of womens stories and thoughts who lost their mom of all ages, experiences, ect. It has always been such a comfort.

Can I ask what type of cancer you all lost your mom too? Mine died of Breast Cancer just after turning 40.

I lost my mum 2 cancer at 23yrs old, i had my little girl at 26 and it hit me hard not having my mum around. Her dad decided not 2 b part of her life (although he is now) & i found it extremley hard 2 cope without havin the emotional support and unconditional love only mothers can give. I found myself picking up the phone 2 ring her when ever I needed advice. It hurt that my daughter didnt have any grandparents either, i lost my grandparents at a very young age and i always remember wantin them as a child. It hurt me more that my daughter wasnt a part of my mums life, she would of been her 1st grandchild and i kno she would of adored her. That stage does pass, my daughter is nearly 4 and although i still miss my mum terribly, i find comfort from my daughter doing every day things i did with my mum as a little girl, and realised my mum is very much part ov both r lives, i am her and my daughter is me. Everything i do 4 my little girl, my mum taught me which makes me smile and proud 2 have had such a lovely mum, i appreciate more the sacrifices she made . Dont dwell on the thought of not being around when she is older, make every day count and teach her well cos one day, however old she is, the time will come wen ur not ther (i kno its sad 2 think of) but she will find strength she never knew she had and it will have come from u....and u will 2

I totally understand what you are feeling. I lost my mom when I was 14. I have wanted children more then anything in the world, but when I found out I was having a little girl, I cried for so long. Not having a mom around makes the mom experience a hard and emotional road, especially when you were already alone. I hope you find some comfort, nothing is gonna happen to you, we always assume we have the same fate as our moms but its not true.

Thanks Alyssa. Being a mum is absolutely the best decision of my life. Even though it is emotionally draining at times and incredibly tiring, it is the most rewarding job in the whole world!

I'm sorry to hear you lost your mum too. I hope you are enjoying being a mum and everything is going well for you. xx

I totally understand what you are feeling. I lost my mom when I was 14. I have wanted children more then anything in the world, but when I found out I was having a little girl, I cried for so long. Not having a mom around makes the mom experience a hard and emotional road, especially when you were already alone. I hope you find some comfort, nothing is gonna happen to you, we always assume we have the same fate as our moms but its not true.

I often worry about if something should happen to me what would become of my daughter. But I have both my parents close by and my sister as well. Do you not have any other family who could help you? Sister? Brother? Or even just a good close girlfriend who you consider to be like a sister?

I have a younger brother but he doesn't help at all. I have some good friends though, but it's not the same as the unconditional love family give you. I have an aunty has been wonderful, so I am grateful to have her. She is going to babysit so I can go back to work one day a week. I don't know what I'd do without her!

I think about what would happen to Amelia if something happened to me.. I must write a new will and decide who would take care of her so it's not left in the deciding hands of a stranger!

I often worry about if something should happen to me what would become of my daughter. But I have both my parents close by and my sister as well. Do you not have any other family who could help you? Sister? Brother? Or even just a good close girlfriend who you consider to be like a sister?