They'll be there with a new 29-year old son they've adopted and then I'll walk in and they'll be like 'but...but...we thought you were dead!' and I'll be like 'yeah well I'm not, and who's this guy?' and they'll be like 'woah he means nothing to us' and I'll be like 'man how quickly you guys forget your loved ones huh?' and then I'll go off and get a burger or something.

It has been brought to our attention by an unidentified user of a online musical website that our he frequented that our beloved son passed away today answering the door. We are comforted in the fact that he went the way he always wanted to go; he would always say “Mom, Dad - if I go, I want it to be quickly, while I’m answering the door”. With his passion for opening and subsequently closing doors, there was always the thought in our minds that he was living too fast. Such was his lust for adventure.

He was a fine son, and will be moderately difficult to replace in our affections.