My Work Tarting Up Other Places

Thursday, February 6, 2014

"New business idea," writes Janet in response to Taste Like Your Worst Nightmare. "Gourmet edible undies for foodies -- stuff like Meyer
lemon tart that you sprinkle powdered sugar on after said panty wearer
has them on. Molten lava cake that comes with whip cream lube. Then
there's the savory edition so you could actually skip dinner and go
straight to the sex--sushi flavored panties in assorted fancy rolls,
beef wellington, and for the vegetarian, quinoa with chick peas and
kale. I think there's a big opportunity here:)"

The recipe contains hot sauce and liquid smoke, which seems problematic,
but I suppose if you're come to terms with the other accompanying
comfort issues inherent with crotch/dried meat contact, you're probably good.

Isn't this wasteful? asked one earnest commenter.

"Where is the waste?" answered another. "They are edible. No doubt the plan is to eat
them off your partner. [D]epend[ing on] the size they would be good for more
than one fun time activity, pretty much guaranteeing they will be
consumed to the last bit."

So, yeah, problem solved. You gnaw away at it until it all gets too sexy and arousing and the meat underwear must --must, please now!--be savagely and hastily removed. Then, next time you're feeling randy, drag those raggedy-ass, half-eaten jerky pants out of the pantry and don them suggestively. Maybe run around a bit or do a few squats, to further arouse your partner as well as soften them up for easier chewing.

My favorite comment was from one Wazzupdoc. "Let's bump this up a notch. Jump in the hot-tub to soften things up a bit and chew away! Secondary benefit? Soup!"

xoxox
jill

ps. In Bed With Married Women is currently the #1 highest-rated and #3 best-selling erotica blog on Kindle. Clearly Amazon has a pretty loose definition/strange concept of erotica, but I'll take it. Though I do feel a bit sorry for anyone buying it expecting some sexytime reading and instead discovering a big ol' picture of meat underwear.

8 comments:

I finally found a usable (if you don't count the huge "STOCK PHOTO" written on it) pic of the garbage bagish edible underwear from yesterday. Here tis: http://www.inbedwithmarriedwomen.com/2014/02/tastes-like-your-worst-nightmare.html

Why bother with edible underwear? Went to have some afternoon delight with a favourite hotty and it seems she had had hot chilly noodles for lunch. Forget French Kissing, this was toe curling Deep Shanghai Kissing. And as for a Hot Blow Job, woooooow! Definitely a better way to "spice" up your sex life than edible undies!

About Me

I write In Bed With Married Women, a blog about sex in all its boring, strange, funny, smokin' hot glory. My work has also appeared in Salon, AlterNet, Cosmopolitan, Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, Jezebel, Mad, Games and the Los Angeles Times. I am currently fretting about..something.