Like many of you, I’ve learned so much homeschooling my kids. Understanding how they learn best, tricks for organizing our home, and choosing just the right products are just a few the skills I managed to pick up along the way.

But, there is one lesson that sticks out above the rest. Really, when it comes to homeschooling, at least in our home, it’s probably the single largest contributor to our success.

It has to do with me.

And this one secret I’m about to share is what made all the difference in my kids’ learning, their productivity, their happiness in our homeschool, and my satisfaction with the whole process.

Getting out of my own way

There it is. The greatest lesson I’ve learned while teaching my kids at home is how to get out of my own way. Turns out, learning to spot my own behaviors and how, in fact, I was threatening our homeschool, was a critical realization I had early on. Thank goodness I spotted that, too. Because recognizing the background and mind-set I brought into our homeschool, and realizing how those could sabotage my kids, turned out to be the crucial step to leveraging the power of homeschooling and achieving a level of success.

Today, I’d like to share some examples of this self-sabotage, where ones background and way of thinking can potentially undermine the homeschool, thus, the kids. In my work, I’ve noticed these are common in other families, too. So, while you’re reading, I’d like you to consider whether these threats also speak to you, and whether maybe this kind of sabotage manifests in your homeschool, as well.

Your Previous Background

What’s your background? What kind of training and experience do you bring to your homeschool?

I am a college professor and school teacher by training. I taught on campuses and in classrooms for many years before becoming a homeschool parent. When I tell my ‘teacher-turned-home-mom’ story in public, I get lots of acceptance and support (since non-homeschool audiences assume I know what I’m doing). However (long-time homeschoolers may understand this) I was actually at a great disadvantage by bringing my teaching background into our homeschool.

Let me explain.

You see, my education and my training was all about institutional school-type stuff. I learned to follow textbooks, organize lessons, deliver material, issue exams and check off daily boxes. I learned to treat all the students in my classrooms equally, and I was taught to expect the same outcomes from every one of them, too.

As you can imagine, my background in teaching to large groups of people at one time did little to prepare me to be an effective homeschool parent to a small group — specifically, my very unique children, who were all different ages, all with differing needs and habits, all at the same time. If anything, my classroom experience worked very much against my goal of providing an extraordinary homeschool education. Looking back, I was doing a lot of ‘bossing everybody around’ and telling everybody how to think.

It took a couple of years for me to notice how I was behaving. It really wasn’t until I learned to get out of my own wayand trust the possibilities of a true home education that my kids really began to flourish. Leaving my training behind was one of the major keys to our success.

Listening to Others

Do you listen to what others say? Do you have a tendency to believe what you hear?

As with anyone doing something slightly different, homeschoolers are highly prone to receiving advice from others. Between family members, friends, and even total strangers, it seems everyone has an opinion about homeschooling and how we should raise our kids. I could not even begin to count the number of well-meaning (and not so well-meaning) educational and child-rearing tips I have received over the last 20 years. (But, if I did, I’d need to count by the hundreds…)

Now, should you be part of the lucky few who manage to completely ignore these outside opinions, you’re invited to skip this section entirely. But, if you’re like the rest of us, you understand how those darned outside voices can really get into our heads…

It’s a constant battle at times, trying to fight the mental battle of “What if’s” and “Should I’s” when it comes to our kids. Hard as that is, it’s especially why we need to get out of our own way. Homeschool parents have to remember to look upon their own situations and the reasons they chose homeschooling to begin with. They need to personally reaffirm their own decisions, so they can avoid the temptation to adopt the framework used by everyone else.

Getting out of our own way, and listening to our own experience and intuition, is the only way to avoid the self-sabotage of allowing others to influence what we do. Make sense?

Worrying About the Future

Do you worry about your child’s future? Do you wonder if you’re doing the right thing?

Worrying too much about the future is perhaps the ultimate sabotage to what could be an extraordinary homeschool experience. By constantly measuring children against standards, worrying how kids are going to “turn out”, and continually seeking evidence of homeschool success in the research and literature, we prevent any possibility of really tapping into the potential of homeschooling. The risk of being so fixated on worry is that we miss out on things like customizing the school day or getting creative with the curriculum. We also severely limit our potential for joy along the way.

Though lots of evidence exists for homeschooling successes, we need to get out of the way and trust in the process. After making an informed decision to engage in homeschooling, we need to get to the business of doing it, and just leave it at that. The logical mind has a terrible way of questioning every decision we make for our kids! Worrying too much about the future doesn’t just make homeschooling miserable and difficult, it steals from your kids probably the most influential experience of their early lives.

Your Task

I think a valuable exercise for each of us is to take a few minutes to reflect on what we bring to the homeschooling table. Take a minute to check if your behaviors, actions or ways of thinking could be contributing to the types of sabotage I’ve just talked about. See if “getting in your own way” is something you manifest, too.

Leave a COMMENT. I’d love to share in your realizations, and encourage you the rest of the way, too.

To your success,

Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau is a college professor who traded in her tenure to become a homeschool mom 20+ years ago. A homeschooling pioneer and the founder of many groups and organizations, she works to advance home education, and is an outspoken supporter of education reform coast to coast. Her book, Suddenly Homeschooling: A Quick Start Guide to Legally Homeschool in Two Weeks, is industry-acclaimed as it illustrates how homeschooling can rescue children and families from the public school system, and how anyone can begin homeschooling within a limited time-frame, with no teaching background whatsoever. A liaison for regional school-to-home organizations, a homeschool leader, and a women’s life coach and trainer, Marie-Claire mentors in a variety of areas that impact health, education and lifestyle. A conference speaker, she has appeared at FPEA, H.E.R.I., Home Education Council of America, Luminous Mind, Vintage Homeschool Moms, iHomeschool, and many other events. Her articles have appeared in and on Holistic Parenting, CONNECT, Homefires, Homemaking Cottage, Kiwi, Circle of Moms, and hundreds of sites and blogs nationwide. Marie-Claire can be reached at contactmarieclaire@gmail.com.

This isn’t the kind of thing I usually write about. If you’ve been here very long, you know my posts are usually informational. I try to be encouraging. And, generally, try not to bring anybody down.

However, something is troubling me today, and I wanted you to know.

It’s time to start a conversation. Because things just aren’t right.

Get ready for a longer post than usual. And thanks for reading all the way to the end.

In the last few years, I’ve noticed something. Or maybe I’m just now paying attention.

More and more rude status updates on social media. More and more mean things written as comments, too.

Have you?

You know what I’m talking about.

Snappy criticisms. Snarky comments. Nasty references to other people.

Sure, sure. They’re JK. Or end with a smiley. But, sincere? I think not.

With the homeschool year just beginning for so many, I’ve begun hearing folks talking about things that went down last year, too. And I have to tell you, I don’t like it. A woman I hardly knew approached me at Target the other day, apologizing for something I wasn’t even aware of. Um, thank you, lady. But, wait…what?

So, I’m a realist. I know this happens. And I know it isn’t limited to homeschool circles, either.

And in case you find me judgmental, let me stop you right now. That’s not what this is about.

But I care. And, the honest truth is, I guess I’m a little over-protective, too.

You see, this is my space. My community. My people. It’s about tradition, too. And it’s undermining a pattern of community and sharing that has been the trademark of homeschooling for so long.

When I began homeschooling, a small group of moms gathered at a nearby park once a month for conversation. Everyone was invited.

There was a sign-up sheet for field trips. No pressure, but everyone was invited.

And, occasionally for a party or two. No pressure, but everyone was invited.

You had a question, it was answered. By another mom who cared. By someone who remembered where you sat, and wanted to make your seat a little bit more comfortable since she’d been in that same seat before.

You had a baby, you got a gift basket. You were sick, you got a meal. You had a question, they gathered ’round to help.

Everyone was invited to everything. And everybody came.

You were supported, you were loved. Everybody cheered. Yea, that’s right — everybody.

Today, the growth of homeschooling equals more people, more groups, more discoveries, more opinions. That’s okay. It’s all good.

But, in another way, it’s also not okay.

It’s not okay for us to compete so much. To clash so publicly. To judge so much.

Actually, it’s not okay at all.

If we have learned anything along the way, ladies, it’s that homeschooling is different for everyone. Surely, we all realize there is no right way, and certainly no wrong way. We know this, right?

If we remember anything, it’s that homeschooling is still good, no matter how it is done, and by whom. We know this, right?

If we do anything right, it is by recognizing that all children deserve the chance to belong, to be included, to be successful, to join in, and that the mistakes of us moms must never impact our kids. We know this, too.

So, I’m thinking some of us have forgotten.

Or we’d never be acting this way.

So, let’s turn this around. I’m happy to shine the light on this problem if it may be of help to others.

I’ve been poking around some, and I don’t find that much has been written about this crisis. I see that Upside Down Homeschoolingwrote about it once. And Busy Momalluded to it, too.

So, I’m writing about it today. And I’m asking you:

If you have an opinion (a helpful, thoughtful, honest one), post a COMMENT.

If you know a solution (a real one, not a cheeky one), post a COMMENT.

If you have a reference to an article, link or blog (one that helps, not for self-promotion), post a COMMENT.

Or, if you just plain old have something to add to this conversation (without bashing), post a COMMENT.

I’ve started it. Now, let’s finish this together.

And if you feel led to share this post with others, do it now. A conversation is only that when we start talking to one another.

Love,

Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau is a college professor who traded in her tenure to become a homeschool mom 20+ years ago. The founder of homeschool groups and organizations, she works to advance home education, and is an outspoken supporter of education reform coast to coast. Her book, Suddenly Homeschooling: A Quick Start Guide to Legally Homeschool in Two Weeks, is industry-acclaimed as it illustrates how homeschooling can rescue children and families from the system, and how anyone can begin homeschooling within a limited time-frame and with no teaching background whatsoever. A liaison for regional school-to-home organizations and a homeschool leader in Florida, Marie-Claire also mentors homeschool families nationwide. A conference speaker, she has appeared at FPEA, H.E.R.I., Home Education Council of America, Luminous Mind, Vintage Homeschool Moms, iHomeschool, and many other events. Her articles have appeared in and on CONNECT, Homefires, Homemaking Cottage, Kiwi, Circle of Moms, and hundreds of other blogs nationwide. Marie-Claire can be reached at contactmarieclaire@gmail.com.

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I know you just got here, but I wanted to make sure somebody stood up and waved, welcomed you aboard and said, “I’m glad you’re here!”

You are just getting started, and maybe you have questions. You’re excited. Probably a little nervous. Maybe worried, too.

You want your kids to do well. You want them to be normal. You wonder if you’ll measure up as a teacher, too.

I remember those feelings. Everyone has them. I’m just glad we are having the chance to meet, so I can tell you how normal you are.

When I first started, one of the first things I remember is the other moms. I called around, asked questions, and one day showed up in the park where they were meeting. I met moms who were very in control and moms that were very relaxed. I met moms that were planning every single hour of every day, and moms who seemed to take every day at a time, never quite knowing what they and their children would be doing next.

Though I didn’t see any moms exactly like me, those meetings put me at ease, and I knew I would eventually find a place either among them, or some similar group nearby.

I hope you’ve met moms like these, too. If not, I hope you find some soon.

When I first started, I remember hearing so many different things — all at once. Terms I had never even heard of. Products I had no idea where to find. Names of books, courses, and other people. I tried to soak it up (taking notes, cause that’s my style) and research them all. I knew I could do it, but it was a lot to take in all at once.

Has that happened to you? If it hasn’t, get ready…it might.

How are things going?

Are you handling it all okay?

Are you firm in your decision to homeschool, or still thinking?

Have you begun the research and the reading, or are you still looking for information to help get started?

We have never met, and maybe never will. But I feel as if I know you, because you’re a lot like I was.

I feel like I know you, because you are me so many years ago.

I feel like I know you, because I have met hundreds (thousands?) of moms just like you over the last 20+ years.

We haven’t met, and maybe never will. But I feel as if I know you, because you are a lot like other moms I have met before.

In the world of homeschooling (or really, in the world of parenting) we’re all so different, yet still so very much alike. We love our kids and want to do the best we can. We’re busy in the present while worrying about the future. We’re handling details of today and planning for tomorrow. Somehow, we do it. It’s noble work, but not easy. Not by a long-shot.

So, welcome! I’m glad you’re here.

It may take time, but you’ll do fine. I know, because I did. You will, too.

But, if you need me, I’m here. I can work with you to select courses, choose products, plan schedules, find resources and meet other people. Let me know how I can help. (Click here to get help.)

No family is immune to the occasional bad day. Whether homeschooling or not, life just isn’t predictable. When something unexpected happens, even the most well-planned day can fall to pieces within minutes.

How families tackle these challenges and interruptions is crucial to homeschooling success. Handling situations promptly, then swiftly getting the family back on track is the best way. Crumbling under pressure and quitting homeschooling altogether is not.

New homeschoolers may not always recognize the signs of a homeschool day about to go wrong, and may not be aware of the tactics other families use to avoid certain kinds of problems. Parents new to homeschooling haven’t enough experience under their belts to diffuse situations, and haven’t always acquired the knowledge need to figure out some other way. They may become very stressed and lose confidence. Sometimes, they throw in the towel too soon.

For new homeschool parents, the best advice is staying calm and reassessing the situation. This is almost always the most effective way to go. Taking a time out, either with or without the children, and looking at the problem objectively will help to reframe what is going on. Only after everyone is calm can parents brainstorm solutions, then apply them. It is never a good idea to make significant changes while everyone is still upset.

Some bad day problems are easy to solve. If children are tired, hungry, fighting or misbehaving, first handling the specifics, then getting back to work, is all it takes. If children are uncomfortable or whining, often checking simple things like an uncomfortable chair, the room temperature, the difficulty of a question, the grip of a pencil, or something relatively easy, will set the family back on course in minutes. Dealing with easy problems is very helpful in the long run. After addressing these kinds of things several times, parents will come to recognize the signs and handle them (or prevent them altogether) the next time.

Other bad days are not so easy to diffuse. In fact, some even require a couple of days off from homeschooling until a solution becomes clear. If a certain curriculum isn’t working, for example, it could take a day or two to figure out what to do next. If illness strikes, it could be a week of irregular schooling (or none at all) until everyone is feeling better. If out-of-town relatives come to stay or major equipment malfunctions make it impossible to accomplish anything, families have no choice but to school somewhere else or take time off. When new babies arrive, it can take even longer to reestablish a regular, “good” routine.

For seasoned homeschoolers, bad days take on a completely different form. Having already learned to expect the ups and downs of homeschooling and family life, these families are unaffected by trivial things, since they have already mastered lots of ways to turn bad days around.

For veteran homeschoolers, bad days seem to develop from longer-term challenges, like a growing boredom over a routine, lack of enthusiasm over a curriculum that has turned stale, difficulty teaching/learning more challenging material, adjusting for attitudes/needs of growing teenagers, or something of this nature. Parents who have been homeschooling for many years may also experience fatigue, a feeling they are running out of ideas, a desire to be done with it all, or a growing feeling it is time to resume a career and move forward with other things.

When bad days persist like this, a variety of factors may be at play. In these cases, more serious assessment needs to happen. Just as homeschooling takes many years to hone and fine-tune, so these kinds of situations can take some time to resolve. Long-term bad days are not impossible to solve, but require deeper thought before arriving at the right answers.

Just as suggested above, these families must also take a time out. Parents in particular should take a serious step back and assess the situation from all angles. This could take a few days, or even a few weeks, but should be long enough for the anxiety and pressure to wear off a bit, for the family to reconnect on some level, and for truly objective analysis to occur. During this period, families go on field trips and family outings, select relaxed schooling activities they love to do, or take an actual vacation from school.

Next comes taking a look at priorities. With a fresh perspective, it is time to list what is important and what is not. This creates the opportunity to remember why the family is homeschooling in the first place. It is also a time to evaluate which activities do nothing but add stress and confusion, and should be stricken from the calendar from now on.

After a time, families will be able to resume schooling with a new perspective. Should any solutions have been uncovered, or changes to homeschooling discovered, they should be implemented. Usually, bad days will vanish homeschooling returned to normal, happy functioning.

This is much more to this topic. Check the links, below, for further reading. I also invite you to CONSULT with ME for additional techniques to help restore joy to your homeschool and your family.

Thousands of pinners and bloggers are eager to share their homeschool photos and experiences all over the web. I hope you are encouraged by these resources, as they provide a continual stream of ideas and inspiration for homeschoolers everywhere.

Lest anyone become discouraged by looking at these photos or feel bad for not doing everything they see, I thought it might be helpful to hear from families who are less-than-perfect, too!

Today, I am going to post some of the things we don’t do here in our homeschool. My hope is that you’ll be equally encouraged hearing not every homeschool is perfect, nor all parents infallible, either.

In the interest of keeping it real, I present my list called:

What we Don’t do in our Homeschool

I don’t…

…have/spend tons and tons of money. My total spending varies each year, and I admit to splurging on big items once in a while, but overall I try to do things as inexpensively as possible.

…have a picture-perfect school room. When we first started homeschooling, I designed and decorated a functional and happy classroom, equipped with everything from handmade felts to colorful manipulatives to educational wall art. As the children grew, however, I opted to dismantle the classroom and use the space for something else. (Our kids now study anywhere they like!)

…grade and record every single assignment my children complete. I used to; in fact, I did this for many years. In later years, however, this became too much of a chore. Besides, I knew my kids so well, this was no longer required. Now, I grade what I deem important to grade (which varies by child), and I glance over everything else, making mental notes to myself of what is mastered, and what needs more work. On many papers, I review with the child what needs to be corrected, instead of assigning a grade at all. Papers are then filed, in date order, under that child’s name and/or subject area, in case I need to look at them again.

…plan meals every day, all year long. I fluctuate between meal planning, and not. This is due to our schedules and the variety of foods available to us at any given time. Presently, we receive produce deliveries every two weeks, and order meats and poultry as affordable deals become available within commuting distance to our home. Our meals are based primarily on what surprises arrive in our food bags, plus whatever else I have on hand to combine with those items. Other times of the year, I rely on store sales and what’s in season/looks good when I arrive at the market, making it harder to stick to a rigid meal plan, as well. Much as I love meal planning and try to be consistent with it, the reality is I cannot. (So, I don’t.)

…have a spotless home. Though I would like to (this is my goal someday — to have all rooms clean at the same time) for now, it’s not. I wish it were — I’m a clean freak and this bothers me a bit. But, spotless just isn’t possible here. We live in our home. We also school and work there, too. Spotless is out of the question for any family that spends as many hours at home as we do.

…always stay cool and collected. Even though I have been doing this a long time, I still feel worried when my children are upset during school, angry over very difficult problems (or incorrect solutions, ugh!) and I disappointment when something I have planned goes terribly wrong. It has been a long time since I questioned my ability to homeschool or worried very much about any of this, but like many of you, I had moments like those early on, too. (It happens to everyone.)

…assign every chapter, every assignment, every question, every day. I pick and choose what my children do. If it’s relevant, something they haven’t done before, and sounds worthwhile to me, I’ll assign it. On the contrary, if a book/lesson/experience is just duplicating something we’ve done a thousand times before, or if I just don’t like it for any reason, I tell them to skip it. If they need a little practice, I may assign only odd or even. Or if I think there is some merit to any part of the assignment, I’ll modify it the way I prefer them to do it. (I don’t stress whether questions are missed and sections of books are left undone. So long as mastery is there, I’ve done my job.)

My children don’t…

…always remember where their books and supplies are. Despite elaborate organizing systems and labeled bins and drawers, sometimes they forget. This isn’t a desperate or ongoing problem, or I’d do something about it. I lose things, too, so it doesn’t bother me one bit if the kids do it, too.

…always dress the way I want them to. They did when they were younger. I insisted upon it, and certain style dress was required for certain outings and occasions. As my children grew, however,I allowed them more freedom to choose what to wear and how to accessorize. Due to proper training in modesty and appropriate dress early on, my children make good choices now (usually).

…get every problem right. I won’t lie. I have really smart kids. But do they do everything perfectly? Gosh, no! They get problems wrong and fail tests, too. Everybody does. I accept they’re not good at everything, which is normal. They are, simply put, who they are. What a boring world it would be if every child were exactly alike! (I take their failures seriously, and make changes if/where I need to change.)

…remember to be respectful or supportive of their siblings all the time. It takes understanding and compassion — plus a whole lot of practice – for siblings to live together, study together and to cooperate on tasks 24/7. I’ve said it a million times — I have great kids. But, perfect they’re not. They forget to be nice once in a while, too. It’s something I hear from every family I meet. Not fun, but normal. (We all get grouchy sometimes, don’t we?)

I hope this glimpse into our home helps put your mind at ease that not every homeschool family is as perfect as you may imagine. Good grades and good manners aside, we’re all just like you — we mess up every now and then! And, overall, none of it matters, either!

Here’s to your success, no matter how less-than-perfect (ahem…normal) it may be!

As a homeschooling mamma for the last couple of decades, you can just imagine how many questions and comments I have heard over the years. Honestly, it is really fun for me to answer homeschooling questions, because I get to talk about something I really love and believe in.

I know I have answered common homeschool questions before, but I thought it might be time for another round. I thought you’d have fun hearing some of the things that people have asked me over the years, and my usual responses. I always try to answer in that way that either educates or doesn’t make the other party feel bad for asking, or both. But, remember as you read — I’m only human 🙂

Here are TEN questions that immediately come to mind, and my stock answers:

Do the teachers at the schools tell you what books you have to use? No. But even if they did, I probably wouldn’t use the same books anyway. The nice thing about homeschooling is that we can choose our own books or whatever other things we want to use to teach our kids. We don’t have to follow the exact same program the kids are learning over at the schools, which is something we really like about homeschooling.

Are you sending your kids back to school in high school? No, homeschooling continues up until 12th grade. I mean, we can choose to send our kids to a school or a college to take a couple of classes if we want to, but our kids will always be learning with us, not anywhere else.

Does someone come to your house and test your kids? Gosh, no. If they did, our dogs would never let them in! But seriously, yes, in some states, homeschoolers are tested or monitored somehow, but not in their own homes. We can have our kids tested if we want to, or we can ask teachers to look at their work, but we just mail a copy of the results to the school district.

Do your kids have any friends? Yep, sure they do. But they’re closest to our other kids, because they all spend so much time together. We like that our kids have become best friends and really support each other. But we get out all the time, so the kids meet tons of other people pretty much every day.

But, you’re a teacher. I could never homeschool my kids. Sure you could! It just so happens I was a teacher before my kids were born, but most homeschool parents aren’t teachers. The neat thing is that if there was ever anything I couldn’t teach, or didn’t want to teach, there are a zillion other ways my kids could learn it. I don’t have to teach everything myself. Being a teacher doesn’t make me a good homeschooler. I actually wish I didn’t know so much about schools sometimes, cause it influences how I do things at home.

Does your church tell you to homeschool? I know a lot of families at our church homeschool their kids, too. Yea, it seems like some churches do have a lot of homeschool families. I guess it depends on where you live. You can find large numbers of homeschoolers pretty much anywhere these days. We just do it because we want to, not because anybody recommends it. I’m not the kind of person who follows any trends, so I just do what I think is right for my kids.

Did your parents push you hard in school, and that’s why you homeschool? You know, my parents were actually great role models and really hard-working people. They did teach us things at home, but not any more than most good parents probably do. They were more just all-around unbelievable parents who instilled great values and cultivated really strong family bonds among us. That’s probably what makes family so important to me, and I know I got that directly from them. My husband feels the same way about family, so homeschooling was just a natural choice for us.

Are your friends or family mad at you for homeschooling? Nope. I mean, why would anyone be mad at someone for doing what they think is best for their kids? It’s called being a good parent. I guess if anyone were “mad” at me for homeschooling, I would compare it to any other parenting choice, like not letting kids eat candy all day or not letting them roam the streets at night. People don’t really react to homeschoolers the way you might be thinking. It’s actually very common now.

Are you allowed to go out? Of course! We can do anything we want to. Most homeschool families I know don’t stay in the house all day. I guess the public still has a picture of homeschoolers sitting at a table, but that’s not really how it looks like all the time. That’s what’s really great about homeschooling, is that we can do our schoolwork wherever, and just live our lives and interact with the world all the time.

Do you like homeschooling? Yes, we love it. For us, we would never, ever do anything differently. We actually never even think about it because it’s just what we have been doing for so many years. It’s like a part of our lives and we never even think about school, really, it’s just part of everything else we do every day.

BONUS: Do you have to wear special clothes? (Okay, I was only asked this once, but will never forget it, so I’m including it here. Frankly, I can’t even remember what I said, but I am sure I stumbled over my words, trying to figure out how to respond without a puzzled look or even giggling out loud. Remember, people still have many different ideas of homeschooling and some stereotypes still exist to this day!

I remember worrying about stinking at it when I first started homeschooling some 20-ish years ago. Not all the time, but it would grab hold of me every once in a while. I wondered about it every now and again for the next few years, too, usually after a particularly bad homeschool day or during our recovery from some period of burnout or exhaustion.

Fear of not doing a good job became an unwelcome visitor for probably the first 6 or 8 years of our homeschooling adventure. It came around when I least wanted it to and, while the thought lasted but a brief moment, it always bothered me just long enough to steal my confidence and sap my kids of the extra joy they might have experienced if I wasn’t so worried about doing everything right that day.

Is it grabbing hold of you right now? Do you worry you may ‘stink at’ homeschooling?

For me, the worry faded after a few years. And though it didn’t concern me nearly as much in the later years as it did at the beginning, truthfully, it probably only entirely disappeared after my oldest student entered college, started studying what he loved, and it was obvious he was happy and alright. Only then were my choices and his efforts validated and rewarded. I suppose it was because our homeschool experiment finally rendered real evidence from its first ‘test-subject’ and erased any remaining fears from my mind forever.

My guess is that most homeschool parents wonder at one time or another if they stink at it. I’ll bet there isn’t a homeschooling mamma or daddy out there who hasn’t wondered at least once if they’ve ruined the children. Or if the kids are actually learning anything. Or if they’ve all possibly gone crazy. Or will ever get a job. Or a crack at college. Or earn money. Or live a ‘normal’ life.

No doubt, it’s the reason lots of parents never take the plunge. Afraid they’ll stink at it, that is. Fear of failure is a deterrent to other enormous life changes — surely fear of stinking at homeschooling must rank right up there.

I didn’t know all of this when I first started. I wish someone had had this conversation with me.

It would have been so reassuring if someone had taken me aside and said, “Listen. You’ll probably worry whether you’re doing a good job every once in a while. We all do at first. But, be patient with yourself. You’ll get over that feeling eventually. Just remember things are never as serious as you think they are. You’re gonna be just fine.”

I wish some sweet homeschool mamma with a half a dozen kids or more had said to me, “You know, there is probably a teeny-tiny little chance you’ll stink at it. But, I have been homeschooling a long time, and I’ve never met anyone who stinks at homeschooling. If they can do it, you can do it, too.”

If only some perceptive homeschool dad had come up to me and said, “You know, my wife and I used to worry about doing a good job homeschooling our kids. But, they’re learning so much and so happy, we know we’re doing the right thing. Even on a bad day they learn so much more than if they’d gone to school.”

Nobody told me any of that stuff. That’s why I’m telling it to you now.

If I started homeschooling all over again, knowing what I know now, I would begin with confidence, clarity, and calmness. I’d be 100% sure it would work, because I now know that it does. I’d never worry about not being good at it, either, since I’d understand that kids learn all the time — even if parents do nothing at all to help them – and even more if they do. I’d know that the end is worth the journey, and that it all works out at the finish line. And I’d never doubt myself, because worry is just a waste of time.

Now that you know what I know, I hope that you will start homeschooling knowing you probably won’t stink at it, either. In fact, you’ll probably do a very good job, too.

As lives become busier than ever and our nation’s schools continue to disappoint, however, parent questions have taken on a new focus. Basing their assumptions on homeschool as the superior option, parents now ask, “How do these people do it?” and “What’s the secret?” instead. Though still interested in specifics, today’s families strive to learn if and how homeschooling will fit in with their daily lives.

Believe me — if there were one secret, one formula, one quick and painless tip to follow, or one tip that would guarantee homeschool success, I would surely share it with you now. If you follow my blogs, my books, and my videos, you already know I’d share this information with you right away!

Unfortunately, it isn’t quite that simple.

BUT…the good news is — it isn’t hard, either.

You see, there isn’t just ONE secret to homeschool success.

Actually, there are TEN.

In truth, every successful homeschool family has found what works well for THEM. Either naturally, by accident, or using years of trial-and-error, productive and happy homeschoolers have each discovered a formula for their own success.

Years of research, observation and practice have led me to the discovery that homeschool success involves a combination of things — primarily a combination of TEN GREAT HABITS – that contribute to a great experience.

I now know what these great habits are. I see them in thousands of other families. I practice them myself.

Many of these habits come naturally to many people. Even if they don’t, most can easily be learned.

What if everyone had a list of the habits of the most successful people? What if every homeschooler had a list of successful homeschool habits, too?

In my e-book, The Way Homeschoolers Do, I reveal the TOP-TEN great homeschool habits. You may think of these as the SECRETS to homeschool success, if you like.

In The Way Homeschoolers Do, readers are given a glimpse into what makes successful homeschool families tick. More importantly, readers learn the specific characteristics of homeschool families (the habits) that explain how these families do it.

Now, when new and prospective homeschoolers ask me, “How do homeschoolers do it?” I am able to share my list of the 10 great habits that explain this success.

When family and friends ask you how you do it, you can refer them to this list, too.

I think you’ll enjoy this compilation and explanation of the TEN HABITS of successful homeschool families.