Paige Zaferiou, 27, Professional Witch and Writer in San Francisco, CA

I adore Paige’s website, Paige Z’s Tarot and Tea and I was completely envious when my friend Xandra spent last midsummer getting witchy with her. Paige writes about all things practical magic, but she’s also really down to earth, as evidenced by her love of pizza and pop culture. She works with clients to help them clear their heads and open their hearts. And her writing is perfect for anyone wanting to infuse their life with magic and learn more about the sacred arts. Paige also has a pretty special tattoo and she’s here today to tell us more about it.

How old were you when you got your first tattoo? What was it?
I got my first tattoo at 25. I’d been dreaming of tattoos since before I was legally tattooable, but felt paralyzed by indecision. I was only able to actually get this tattoo, which is a field of colors and stars, because a good friend pressed me into getting matching tattoos! I never in a million years would have guessed that I’d end up getting matching tattoos with someone. But I don’t regret it one bit.

How many tattoos do you have now?
Just the one…for now.

What are your thoughts on tattoo regret? Have you ever had any?
I have absolutely no tattoo regret whatsoever, although my tattoo was very impulsive. In terms of avoiding tattoo regret, I think the most important thing is to seek a professional artist and to pay for quality and talent. A poorly executed or botched tattoo is a big fear of mine!

Do you think tattoos need to have a special meaning or can they be purely aesthetic?
As a magical practitioner and tarot reader for whom symbolism is very important, I personally would not get a tattoo unless it had a special meaning for me. That said, I think “this is beautiful and makes me happy” is a perfectly valid reason, if that’s your jam! To each her own.

What’s the story behind your tattoo?
I adore my one and only tattoo; it has a very silly story behind it. A friend from university came out to visit me in San Francisco. Somehow, we wound up side-by-side on the table, getting inked together to commemorate our hi-LA-rious architecture professor, whose delicious demeanor and…unique way of phrasing things has given us many years of hilarity and joy.

He told our class – with a completely straight face – that, “to the artistic community, Einstein’s theory of relativity was about colors and stars. And these were things that they were very interested in.”

TICKLE ME KITTENS

Naturally, we’ve been all about colors and stars ever since.

To me, it also symbolizes my commitment to the sacred arts and the importance of my community. Plus, it acts as a reminder for me never to take things too seriously and always be an example of positivity, enthusiasm, and lightheartedness. HUZZAH!

Are there any artists you’re yearning to get work from?
Oh, yes! Canadian artist Jessica Wright does majorly drool-worthy work. I’d love to get some of that all up on me.

Thanks so much, Paige! It’s so much fun to know the rich story behind your tattoo. I love that it so seamlessly blends humour and a deep connection to who you are. I can’t wait to see what you add to your collection!

If you want to see more of Paige, be sure to check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

At some point or another, we’ve all measured our lives against yard sticks we didn’t create. We have internalized ideas about what successful relationships, careers, bodies, lifestyles, and families look like, even though they’re completely irrelevant to our own lives.

Either we’ve decided to forge our own path but haven’t created a yard stick to measure our progress, or we’re chasing someone else’s definition of success and constantly falling short.

Both are surefire ways to make ourselves miserable. We’ll wind up constantly comparing ourselves to other people or feeling confused that we never feel good about getting the things we’ve been chasing for so long.

Your definition of success will depend on your values, the lifestyle you want, and the goals you set for yourself.

(Shameless plug: the Define Your Dreams workbook will help you get hella clear on those things. I’ve created an extensive exercise in my upcoming ebook that walks you through creating your own yardstick but getting a clear vision for yourself is the most fundamental step.)

Once you start trying on your own definitions of success, it’s a whole lot easier to throw out the ones that don’t fit you. Here are a few powerful mindset shifts that will help you start using your own yard stick:

Enjoy the journey. If you’ve constantly got your nose to the ground chasing the next shiny penny you’re missing your entire life. While there are totally times to put your head down and do the work, no dream is worth constant misery. Find ways to make the journey enjoyable and if that’s utterly impossible, it might be a good idea to go back to your yardstick and figure out whether this dream is really a good fit.

Accept where you’re at. Longing to be somewhere else is pointless. Taking consistent action towards where you want to go is powerful but stop beating yourself up for not being there yet. Remind yourself that the journey is part of your story and it’s all shaping who you are. Learning to be okay with where you’re at (and even love it!) is what will get you out of the comparison trap and allow you to fully step into your own life.

“Good for her! Not for me” is a real gem from Amy Poheler. We get to want whatever we want but we don’t have to want “it all.” Sometimes it’s easy to get sucked in by the shiny allure of other people’s success and this phrase is an easy way to snap us back to looking at our own yard stick, without diminishing how great those things are for someone else.

Next time you find yourself feeling like an utter failure, ask yourself: are you measuring yourself against your yard stick or someone else’s? Take a moment to revisit your goals (I like to reread mine every morning) and decide on a small action that will bring you into better alignment with your own definition of success. Everything else is good for her, but not for me.

Sarah Von Bargen, 35, blogger/ghost writer/internet awesome-i-fier, usually in St. Paul, Minnesota (though she travels three months a year)

Over the years, the blogs that I read have changed a lot. As I’ve changed and grown, the things I’m interested in reading about are a lot different than they were way back when. And the people whose work I found helpful when I was younger, isn’t necessarily what resonates with me at this stage of my journey. But one of the blogs that has constantly been in my reader since I discovered it in 2011 is Sarah Von Bargen’s Yes & Yes. Perhaps it’s because Sarah doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out, yet she’s still plenty inspiring and wicked knowledgable. She’s incredible at helping people be more awesome online and showing how to make life more fun and adventurous. Sarah’s amazing at curating guest posts on everything from incredible real life stories and travel to style and food. More recently she launched a small business blog and helps people take their online lives to the next level. From starting her own business to travelling for three months a year and peppering her life with everyday adventures (she also inspired my birthday list!), Sarah is pretty rad at making her dreams come true. I’m so excited to have her here today for our next Inspiration Interview.

How would you sum up what you do?
I write things that help us all remember that yes is more fun than no – in life, online, and in your business.

What unconventional career path brought you from there to here?
I’ve been doing writing-related jobs for 15+ years … all those things you do when you know how to string a sentence together: public relations, newspaper, ad agency, English teacher. When I started Yes & Yes I’d been living abroad and working as an ESL teacher for five years. I wanted to read a lifestyle blog that was funny and smart, helpful and flippant. I wanted to read a blog that acknowledged that humans can’t be pigeon holed and sometimes adulthood looks a bit different than we expected.

I couldn’t find a blog like that so I created one.

After about three years of daily blogging, people started asking for my help. They wanted advice on navigating social media, content marketing, how to write blog posts people actually read. So I hung out my proverbial shingle and I’ve been self-employed ever since!

What does self-love mean to you and what role does it play in your life?
It means making the choices that are right for you. Sometimes these choices aren’t particularly popular with your family, your friends, your clients, your employer, or your partner but if they’re right for you, they’re worth pursuing.

My self-love takes the form of professional boundaries (no business emails after 6 pm and never on the weekends) and telling people what I need rather than devotedly hoping they’ll figure it out.
Boyfriend, could you please do those dishes?
Sister, could you bring wine and dessert to Easter brunch?
Friend, could you meet for lunch and give me advice about That One Thing?

Where does your inspiration come from?
Everywhere! Most often I get my best ideas from conversations with my painfully clever friends. I also get a lot of good ideas when I’m out and about or when I’m moving my body. Inspiration rarely occurs when I’m sitting in front of a screen.

What advice would you give for someone with a monumental dream looking to make it a reality?
Work backwards and break your big goals into tiny steps. Let’s say you want to move across the country in six months. What needs to be ready at the five month mark? The three month mark? The two month mark? How can you break that down even further into little steps that won’t overwhelm you? I love using Trello for big projects – you can assign tasks, deadlines, even give yourself checklists and see how much you’ve got left!