Bar of the week: Out Of The Blue at The Berkeley

Every week, we scour the city to find the best bars our capital has to offer. Whether you're a cocktail kind of guy, or a man who enjoys a decent draft beer, there's a GQ-worthy drinking spot to suit every taste.

Valentine's Day ideas that are guaranteed to impress her

From gorgeous gifts to romantic getaways and the best places to take your beau out to celebrate, we've compiled the ultimate list of Valentine's Day ideas for her - as chosen by the women of GQ - to treat your better half with this 14 February

Bar of the week: Out Of The Blue at The Berkeley

Every week, we scour the city to find the best bars our capital has to offer. Whether you're a cocktail kind of guy, or a man who enjoys a decent draft beer, there's a GQ-worthy drinking spot to suit every taste.

Valentine's Day ideas that are guaranteed to impress her

From gorgeous gifts to romantic getaways and the best places to take your beau out to celebrate, we've compiled the ultimate list of Valentine's Day ideas for her - as chosen by the women of GQ - to treat your better half with this 14 February

#MeToo: Cut! The films and TV shows left in limbo

How to talk to women on Tinder

Swipe left, swipe right, super-like – all before you’ve even said hello. If you don’t want to be the douche she screenshots for her WhatsApp group called “why men are dicks”, but do want to be the guy she downs shots with on a wild night out, your chat game has to be strong. Here’s how to talk to women on Tinder

Tinder introductions

Saying "Hi" or "Hello" is apparently not enough anymore – I don’t know why, I’ve always found them perfectly serviceable – so maybe open with something slightly surreal, but not creepy. “What three items must be in your ideal fry-up?” “What’s the one thing everyone likes except you?” “If you could sum yourself up in a gif which one would it be?” “Favourite dinosaur?” even.

Charm and humour

There is room to be charming, so long as you remain the right side of sleazy. Don’t be afraid to be funny, but it’s not an open mic night; you don’t have to “win”. Most men overdo it and either get salacious too early on or try to be really arch and come off as superior. Be natural. Give her room to show her personality too. Oh, and don’t be ironically sexist, like, ever. Answer all her questions with humour, but honestly. You’re allowed to be confident, as excessive self-deprecation can be very wearing, but don’t brag. Cockiness can be sexy, arrogance not so much – if you’re not sure where they cross over, avoid both.

How to compliment on Tinder

It can be hard to get this right. Yes, you cry, it was easier when men could just say “cracking tits” at random women in the street, to which I’d reply errrr no, it wasn’t easier for women at all; they really didn’t like it. It’s true some women have no problem with catcalling or very direct, objectifying compliments, but you can never tell which they are until it’s too late, and there’s no internationally agreed symbol for “feel free to compliment my breasts using Seventies tabloid-speak”. Err on the side of caution. “I like your eyes” is “nice jugs” in new-man’s clothing, I’m afraid, so instead look into their pictures and compliment what’s happening in them. Ask where it was taken, say you love their outfit, tell them they look really happy or like they’re having a wonderful time, or that you went somewhere similar once, or that it reminds you of something. You can say she looks great, or is beautiful, and she will very likely take it with good grace, but don’t go any further than that over chat.

Advertisement

Good conversation topics for Tinder

Telly; movies; travel; the news (not Trump); the city you live in; your job (a max of three statements allowed, don’t go all “Here’s a PowerPoint of my last three sales conferences”); your ideal weekend; food, especially breakfast items; things you love to hate; style (do not slate hers, nor be a grooming bore – save it for the blog); books; writers; me. Largely, keep things “up”. No whingeing.

Read next

How to get out of your dating rut

As any serial dater will tell you, dating is almost a full-time job

ByJustin Myers, The Guyliner

Bad conversation topics for Tinder

Politics (especially Trump – there is nothing new to be said); your exes; being single and how hard it is; surviving the apps; how clever you are; how dumb everyone else is; your favourite motorway route to Aberdeen; wanking; Eurovision.

Sliding to IRL

After a couple of nights chatting, it’s fine to ask to meet for a date. Let her take the lead on location and time, so she feels safe, but if she’s happy to let you decide, suggest a pub, somewhere you know will be busy enough but not intimidating, or ask if there’s anywhere she’s always wanted to go. Chatting about the dos and don’ts of particular venues can be a bonding experience; it’s reassuring to know someone else hates the same places you do. Remember to remain 100 per cent non-creepy at all times.

If they don’t reply at all, it means one of two things: either they’re desperately in love with you or they’re not interested

Advertisement

If the chat is drying up

Maybe you’re both tired, maybe she’s got ten other chats on the go, maybe you’re sick of her story about how she used a defibrillator on a sick crab on her gap year. No matter. Just say you have to go, that it was nice talking and you hope to catch up soon. She might be in a different mood next time you speak. If she doesn’t block you.

Spotting a lack of interest and dealing with rejection on Tinder

If they don’t reply at all, or are monosyllabic, it means one of two things: either they’re desperately in love with you and too shy to show their true feelings, or they’re not interested. In fact, that was a lie. It’s never, ever, ever the first one. Don’t take it personally. Yes it’s dispiriting, especially if you put loads of effort in, but there could be a million reasons why she’s not into it and there’s little to be gained in pressuring her to tell you. Accept the ghosting with good grace, put it down to experience, wish her a nice night (sincerely), and move on. Hearing “you’re ugly anyway” from someone you’re not remotely interested in in the first place is NBD – you’d only be winding yourself up.

Read next

Why do women keep asking if I've read 'Cat Person' on Tinder?

ByEleanor Halls

Other stuff you can do:

Give your Tinder pics a once-over

That pic of you in a London 2012 T-shirt is not brand-new. Your photos should, unless particularly impressive, be no older than one year. Get a female friend to take some. Make sure she knows Photoshop, but not too well. It has to look like you. Exceptions: very funny ones; super stylised pics; a portrait drawn by someone who is now dead; a photo of you with a Hollywood A lister where you don’t look like a competition winner. And even then at least two of your photos must be present day.

Advertisement

Absolute no-nos: childhood snaps; a pet; football club badges; a random motorbike; leaning on the bonnet of a car; anything involving a “thumbs-up”; you and your ex – unless your ex is the afore-mentioned Hollywood A lister.

If you’re not super confident with words, either get a friend to help you (think sympathetic, articulate woman rather than blokey pal who talks in doubles-entendres) or keep it short, direct, and friendly. “I’m Miles (only works if your name is Miles), I’m 31, and single and looking for someone who’s after fun nights out, chilled weekends and likes the odd football match – all teams accepted. Don’t have a type (because why you would be so prescriptive in your bio, it’s just boring), but someone around my age would be good.” I mean, that’s fine. No need to mention your thoughts on feminism (it will come across as too desperate or absolutely toxic, depending on your views), your favourite movies, or your political leanings. All that crap can come out in natural conversation – you’ll find you’re willing to overlook certain things once you know what they’re like as a person, and they will be too. Which is lucky, because now you can tell them all about that Lego under your bed.