I can only say that positive thoughts are healthier than negative ones. Having said that I totally get where you are coming from because I still have this friggin tumor intact in my decending colon. I also know that based on the first 6 months of 2017 I am lucky to be alive so I have no choice but to stay optimistic. I weathered some really bad infections, colitis and a blockage which nearly killed me. I realize that there are no guarantees but like Susie and many others have told you there are so many survivors whose CRC involvement included nodes and more.

I wish you strength, hope and faith for what lies ahead... YOU CAN DO THIS! Yes, you are stronger than you imagine and I honestly say this from my own experience. You have much to live for and you will make it through the ugly side of chemo to find the rainbow and the pot of NED gold.

Stop reading negative stuff...if you want it, the internet will not disappoint. You have to think about you as you are different than everyone else. If they did not find anything on your scans in terms of metastasis it’s likely there is nothing there. i am with you on getting the treatment right away, the sooner the better! I just had a PET scan to compliment the earlier CT scan (which did not show any metastasis) and am hoping for the same result. i am confident it will be fine.

Tomorrow morning i have my port placed, then it’s oxaliplatain round one on wednesday morning with my start of two weeks of Xeloda twice a day orally.

Teacher...it’s out of our hands at this point, what is done is done. this is our fight now to get better! and - you will. there are things we cannot control in this fight, but you can try and stop worrying about the things past and look forward to the future and getting better. life is never over until it’s over and we all have more living to do. i guess try not to get stuck, it’s the most difficult thing to do, but you must try and move forward...

we did not know this was in us and now we do...now we know what we have to do to rid ourselves of this disease and WE WILL!

I just returned from a 4 mile run...it was damn humid and i know it will not always be like that through my treatment, but i am going to try and have as many days like today with that run as i can...keeps me going, clears my head, and reminds me that i am not a quitter, not on myself or my family...

I could get hit by a bus tomorrow...

We are all here for you Teacher and for each other...give yourself the benefit out any doubt and make your own odds, you are NOT a statistic!

I can only say that positive thoughts are healthier than negative ones. Having said that I totally get where you are coming from because I still have this friggin tumor intact in my decending colon. I also know that based on the first 6 months of 2017 I am lucky to be alive so I have no choice but to stay optimistic. I weathered some really bad infections, colitis and a blockage which nearly killed me. I realize that there are no guarantees but like Susie and many others have told you there are so many survivors whose CRC involvement included nodes and more.

I wish you strength, hope and faith for what lies ahead... YOU CAN DO THIS! Yes, you are stronger than you imagine and I honestly say this from my own experience. You have much to live for and you will make it through the ugly side of chemo to find the rainbow and the pot of NED gold.

Hugs to you from one of your fellow warriors!

Shana

Thank you! I really need a good kick in the ass from time to time. I have to stay off the fb groups. They are so frightening.

DonutHead wrote:Stop reading negative stuff...if you want it, the internet will not disappoint. You have to think about you as you are different than everyone else. If they did not find anything on your scans in terms of metastasis it’s likely there is nothing there. i am with you on getting the treatment right away, the sooner the better! I just had a PET scan to compliment the earlier CT scan (which did not show any metastasis) and am hoping for the same result. i am confident it will be fine.

Tomorrow morning i have my port placed, then it’s oxaliplatain round one on wednesday morning with my start of two weeks of Xeloda twice a day orally.

Teacher...it’s out of our hands at this point, what is done is done. this is our fight now to get better! and - you will. there are things we cannot control in this fight, but you can try and stop worrying about the things past and look forward to the future and getting better. life is never over until it’s over and we all have more living to do. i guess try not to get stuck, it’s the most difficult thing to do, but you must try and move forward...

we did not know this was in us and now we do...now we know what we have to do to rid ourselves of this disease and WE WILL!

I just returned from a 4 mile run...it was damn humid and i know it will not always be like that through my treatment, but i am going to try and have as many days like today with that run as i can...keeps me going, clears my head, and reminds me that i am not a quitter, not on myself or my family...

I could get hit by a bus tomorrow...

We are all here for you Teacher and for each other...give yourself the benefit out any doubt and make your own odds, you are NOT a statistic!

DH

Thank you DH. Love your rationale and pep talks. We got this. We just need to start!

susie0915 wrote:You definitely will feel more in control when you start treatment. I understand you anger. I still worry. I have a 6 month scan next Monday so anxiety issetting in. There are so many on this forum with lymph node involvement that are doing very well. I cannot tell you not to worry. Please try to have positive thoughts as difficult as it can be. On a side note, how is your bronchitis? Hope you are feeling better.

Good luck for a clear scan! As for my bronchitis, I'm on antibiotics and don't really cough during the day but at night I'm a coughing mess! I'm hoping these antibiotics work!

susie0915 wrote:You definitely will feel more in control when you start treatment. I understand you anger. I still worry. I have a 6 month scan next Monday so anxiety issetting in. There are so many on this forum with lymph node involvement that are doing very well. I cannot tell you not to worry. Please try to have positive thoughts as difficult as it can be. On a side note, how is your bronchitis? Hope you are feeling better.

Good luck for a clear scan! As for my bronchitis, I'm on antibiotics and don't really cough during the day but at night I'm a coughing mess! I'm hoping these antibiotics work!

Thanks. I am feeling positive but there's always that little bit of worry, because you never know. I hope your antibiotics work as well. When are you starting chemo?Did you talk to your oncologist about the bronchitis and if it should be postponed until you finish antibiotics? Also, how is your surgery recovery going? I hope you are doing well with that as well.

susie0915 wrote:You definitely will feel more in control when you start treatment. I understand you anger. I still worry. I have a 6 month scan next Monday so anxiety issetting in. There are so many on this forum with lymph node involvement that are doing very well. I cannot tell you not to worry. Please try to have positive thoughts as difficult as it can be. On a side note, how is your bronchitis? Hope you are feeling better.

Good luck for a clear scan! As for my bronchitis, I'm on antibiotics and don't really cough during the day but at night I'm a coughing mess! I'm hoping these antibiotics work!

Thanks. I am feeling positive but there's always that little bit of worry, because you never know. I hope your antibiotics work as well. When are you starting chemo?Did you talk to your oncologist about the bronchitis and if it should be postponed until you finish antibiotics? Also, how is your surgery recovery going? I hope you are doing well with that as well.

Hi-I'm planning to go back to work on Monday full time. Chemo won't start until the end of the month. The healing from the surgery was uneventful. Healing great, reg bowel movements, zero issues. She doesn't want me to start until this bronchitis is over. I want to get started. The sooner I start, the sooner I finish. I think my immune system is just run down due to the stress I just had. Being home is terrible. My mind goes crazy. I worry about more surprises. Everyone says "you'll be fine" but we all know there are no guarantees. I am trying to psych myself out that this needs to be done to be ok. But it's all so hard. I really appreciate life more after this.

Received the port this morning. Right side and they have me set up for ready access tomorrow for round 1. I have my Xeloda and oral Ativan and Zofran as well. The port install was uneventful. It was much like the prep for my colonoscopy with the IV and review of what was to be done. Then it was a short walk to the OR and prep on the table, then i was out.

I woke up just like after the colonoscopy and could somewhat feel the catheter in my neck. looking at it you really cannot tell it's there. With the leads attached you can see it if you really look, but i am satisfied with it not getting in the way of anything. although i miss hugging my wife and my boys after being radioactive yesterday and now this!

The doctor told me not to do any lifting over 10 pounds and not exercising for at least 7-10 days. However, once the glue and tape come off i am good to go, weight lifting, running, no real limits other than my own...

Right now it kind of hurts, the anesthesia is wearing off. I have a high threshold for pain so it's kind of like what the incisions felt like from the lap surgery immediately following surgery, but without the need for pain medications. it's a bit like having whiplash on the the righ lower side of my neck and feels like i got hit in the chest hard below the collarbone

i had a broken collarbone from football when i was younger so feels a little like that. it's amazing how those muscles keep your neck stable and help you to turn your head, you never think of it. i have a somewhat bad headache as well, but that is likely from all the stress and tugging, pulling on the skin and muscles from the port install. Took 30 mins.

it's not unbearable, just dull and nagging pain, which should subside in 2-4 days.

Now just waiting on the PET scan results from yesterday with fingers crossed. Whatever the news, will keep pushing forward and get through this.

Thank you! I really need a good kick in the ass from time to time. I have to stay off the fb groups. They are so frightening.

This forum is much more supportive and encouraging than other groups I have visited. Yes there are sad stories of loss but there are so many positive ones and I see more and more of those these days. Let's take heart in those success stories and stay positive!

DonutHead wrote:Received the port this morning. Right side and they have me set up for ready access tomorrow for round 1. I have my Xeloda and oral Ativan and Zofran as well. The port install was uneventful. It was much like the prep for my colonoscopy with the IV and review of what was to be done. Then it was a short walk to the OR and prep on the table, then i was out.

I woke up just like after the colonoscopy and could somewhat feel the catheter in my neck. looking at it you really cannot tell it's there. With the leads attached you can see it if you really look, but i am satisfied with it not getting in the way of anything. although i miss hugging my wife and my boys after being radioactive yesterday and now this!

The doctor told me not to do any lifting over 10 pounds and not exercising for at least 7-10 days. However, once the glue and tape come off i am good to go, weight lifting, running, no real limits other than my own...

Right now it kind of hurts, the anesthesia is wearing off. I have a high threshold for pain so it's kind of like what the incisions felt like from the lap surgery immediately following surgery, but without the need for pain medications. it's a bit like having whiplash on the the righ lower side of my neck and feels like i got hit in the chest hard below the collarbone

i had a broken collarbone from football when i was younger so feels a little like that. it's amazing how those muscles keep your neck stable and help you to turn your head, you never think of it. i have a somewhat bad headache as well, but that is likely from all the stress and tugging, pulling on the skin and muscles from the port install. Took 30 mins.

it's not unbearable, just dull and nagging pain, which should subside in 2-4 days.

Now just waiting on the PET scan results from yesterday with fingers crossed. Whatever the news, will keep pushing forward and get through this.

DH

Sounds like you got your armour to do battle. Kick its ass, my friend. Take no prisoners. I will be you in a week or two.

The results of my PET scan are in....I am clean! NO metabolic activity, no metastesis, no hot spots, no active anything! Not sure what that means exactly with chemo to start tomorrow, was too busy jumping up and down! Regardless, I have the port and I still want some chemo just to be sure...though I am not sure it will be necessary to go all 12 rounds??? Oh my gosh, i cannot stop pacing now...keep fighting everyone!

DonutHead wrote:The results of my PET scan are in....I am clean! NO metabolic activity, no metastesis, no hot spots, no active anything! Not sure what that means exactly with chemo to start tomorrow, was too busy jumping up and down! Regardless, I have the port and I still want some chemo just to be sure...though I am not sure it will be necessary to go all 12 rounds??? Oh my gosh, i cannot stop pacing now...keep fighting everyone!

DH

Alright! Sounds like the day just got better! Woohoo!!! That's huge! You made my day too!

DonutHead wrote:The results of my PET scan are in....I am clean! NO metabolic activity, no metastesis, no hot spots, no active anything! Not sure what that means exactly with chemo to start tomorrow, was too busy jumping up and down! Regardless, I have the port and I still want some chemo just to be sure...though I am not sure it will be necessary to go all 12 rounds??? Oh my gosh, i cannot stop pacing now...keep fighting everyone!

DH

Alright! Sounds like the day just got better! Woohoo!!! That's huge! You made my day too!

DonutHead wrote:The results of my PET scan are in....I am clean! NO metabolic activity, no metastesis, no hot spots, no active anything! Not sure what that means exactly with chemo to start tomorrow, was too busy jumping up and down! Regardless, I have the port and I still want some chemo just to be sure...though I am not sure it will be necessary to go all 12 rounds??? Oh my gosh, i cannot stop pacing now...keep fighting everyone!

DH

Alright! Sounds like the day just got better! Woohoo!!! That's huge! You made my day too!