Herman Cain Begins Operation Pantomimed Ambivalence

It’s been a full 24 hours since some woman has stepped forward with allegations of his sexual misdeeds, so Herman Cain now must go to greater lengths than usual to command the news cycle. Enter: Operation Pantomimed Ambivalence. Last night the multi-talented pizza tycoon told Fox News “personality” Sean Hannity that he will spend the weekend deciding whether to persist in slowly losing the Republican presidential nomination. “I’m going to make a decision before Monday,” he said. “We haven’t worked out the logistics yet. The decision could be, we’re going to continue with this campaign full speed ahead. The decision could be that we’re going to suspend the campaign. That’s why I’m doing the re-assessment.”

For some historical perspective, know that the last time a Republican presidential candidate suspended his campaign, public polling on the move was disastrous—and that was a legitimate candidate attempting to work through a time-sensitive problem of public interest. Cain’s myopic sex-scandal sabbatical might have the direst of unintended results: a nation forced to pay attention to Mitt Romney.