Welcome to Remake Radar, where we take on Hollywood’s penchant for remaking films for better or worse (which is most of the time). This month’s movie:

“The Crazies” (1973)

Stars: W.G. McMillan, Lane Caroll, and Harold Wayne Jones

Director: George A. Romero

Story: A military plane carrying a dangerous bio-weapon crashes outside the small town of Evans City, Pennsylvania. Troops and scientists are dispatched to contain the area. Meanwhile, the biological agent infects the town’s water supply causing death and permanent insanity to the residents. When the troops show up, all hell breaks loose.

What do we know now?: Pretty much the same plot. Tim Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, and Joe Anderson star. Breck Eisner is directing.

Welcome to Remake Radar, where we take on Hollywood’s penchant for remaking films for better or worse (which is most of the time). This month’s movie:

“Poltergeist” (1982)

Stars Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams, and Heather O’Rourke.

Director: Tobe Hooper

Story: Steven Freeling (Nelson) is a rest estate agent who moves his family into newly designed suburban housing. When strange things begin to occur and his daughter Carol Anne (O’Rourke) sits and points at the TV showing static and saying, “They’re here!” he decides to get to the bottom of the matter. His boss tells him that his house rests on an ancient Indian burial ground. Great. Matter are further complicated when Carol Anne is taken hostage by the malevolent spirits and thrown into another dimension. Steven calls on parapsychologists who are immediately humbled and bring in a small medium for their large request: bring back their kid from the other side, and get rid of the ghosts.

What do we know now? When there’s a remake / in MGM’s neighborhood. Who did they call? / Vadim Perelman! In a case nearly unprecedented by surely the way the Studios are going MGM greenlit a remake of the movie, picked a release date of November 24, 2010, then picked a director (Perelman) and screenwriters Juliet Snowden and Stiles White. Perelman directed “House of Sand and Fog.” Snowden and White co-wrote “Knowing” and “Boogeyman.”

Story: Ren McCormack (Bacon) is a street-wise teenager living in Chicago when his parents move the family west to a small town where dancing and rock music are as illegal as any progressive thought post-1950. Ren gets interested in Ariel (Singer) and with the help of classmates tries to lift the ban only to run up against the Bible-thumping preacher Rev. Shaw Moore. With a rockin’ soundtrack from Kenny Loggins (who does the main theme), Deniece Williams, Bonnie Tyler, Quiet Riot, Foreigner, and John Mellencamp, how can he lose?

What do we know now?: Aside from being turned into a Broadway production, it’s slated for release on June 18, 2010. The director is Kenny Ortega (“High School Musical 3”) and the two signed-on cast members are Chace Crawford (as Ren) and Julianne Hough (as Ariel).

Welcome to Remake Radar, where we take on Hollywood’s penchant for remaking films for better or worse (which is most of the time). This month’s movie:

“The Stepfather” (1987)

Stars Terry O’Quinn, Jill Schoelen, and Shelley Hack.

Director: Joseph Ruben

Story: Loosely based on the “John List” story, a guy goes around looking for divorcees and widows with families in order to secure the “perfect family.” When the family comes up short on expectations, he kills them and moves on. He next sets himself up as a real estate agent. When the teenage daughter begins to suspect that her mom’s new interest may be a wanted killer, this “perfect family” comes under threat.

What do we know now? Substitute a boy coming home from military school (Penn Badgley) for the teenage girl, Sela Ward as the mom, and Dylan Walsh taking Terry O’Quinn’s spot, and ya got yourself a remake. The director is Nelson McCormick, the same guy who directed the “Prom Night” remake.

Welcome to Remake Radar, where we take on Hollywood’s penchant for remaking films for better or worse (which is most of the time). This month’s movie:

“The Karate Kid” (1984)

Stars Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Elisabeth Shue, and Martin Kove.

Director: John G. Avildsen

Story: Daniel LaRusso (Macchio) and his mom leave New Jersey for the sun and surf of Reseda, CA. Being Italian and from Jersey, Daniel doesn’t quite fit in. Matters are further complicated when he asks a local girl out and is ganged-up on by others (12 of them) who begin kicking his ass karate-style before being fended off by Mr. Miyagi (Morita). Miyagi then teaches Daniel-son to “wax-on/wax-off” while building up his esteem so he can take on the leader of the gang in a tournament. Gotta love the crane kick.

What do we know now? The remake may or may not be titled “The Kung Fu Kid,” and it’s being produced by Will Smith and stars his son Jaden Smith as the title character. Here’s a rundown from WorstPreviews.com:

Sherry is offered a transfer to China. Considering the US office is about to lay off everyone, it’s really her only choice; especially since nobody else at the office has been offered a transfer. With her young son Dre (Jaden Smith) in tow, the single-mother makes Beijing her new home. Needless to say, not knowing Chinese, and experiencing a bit of culture shock, they both find it a little hard to settle in – – Dre especially.

Like Daniel Larusso in the original film, Dre (who, unlike Larusso, is a skateboarding video-game buff) immediately catches the attention of the local bullies – in particular, Lui Wei Cheng. And before too long, Dre is going home with bruises (he tries to hide a black-eye under a cap by pulling it as far down his face as he can) and whining about wanting to return to the states.

Dre’s enrolled into a strict Beijing Middle School. His first day there is a bit of a shambles – the assistant principal spots his bruises, and assumes he’s been fighting (which, of course, they don’t accept under any circumstances), and he turns up in a school uniform, something he didn’t have to wear that day (there’s only certain days when a uniform is required).

The Mr Myiagi character is actually named Mr. Han (Jackie Chan). He’s the maintenance man of the apartment lock that Sherry and Dre have moved into, and meets the new residents when he’s called over to fix their hot water service. From the bathroom, Han spots Dre practicing martial-arts kicks (unsuccessfully) in front of a video-game, and catches his black eye. Later, of course, he’ll agree to teach him – both martial-arts and the Chinese language (so he can impress his mother by haggling over apples).

The ‘John Kreese’ character – the character played by Martin Kove in the original film – is Li Quan Ha, the owner of the Fighting dragon school of Kung-Fu. One visit to the school – in which Li Quan terrorizes his students (who range from the age of 3 onwards), namely Lui Wei Cheng – and Dre is immediately put off.

Story: Four students at the New York City High School for the Performing Arts are followed from audition to graduation.

What can I say about the original? It won Academy Awards for Best Score and Best Song (“Fame”). It was the sixth film by Alan Parker who preceded it with “Bugsy Malone,” and “Midnight Express,” and followed it with “Pink Floyd: The Wall,” “Angel Heart,” and “Mississippi Burning,” among others. Finally, it gave a career to Debbie Allen.

Why is that last bit important? After winning some Oscars it became bound for TV where it was remade into a TV series in 1982 that ran for six seasons; Debbie Allen played Lydia Gant. In 2003 Debbie Allen started her own version of “Fame,” making it a talent show. Finally, Debbie shows up once again in this year’s remake as Principal Simms.

What do we know now?: Just short a few cast members of a “Cheers” or “Frasier” reunion, Kelsey Grammer AND Bebe Neuwirth are in this one, along with Charles S. Dutton, Kay Panabaker and every other guy or girl who can sing, dance, or act. It’s set for release on September 25, 2009.

Story: It’s the end of Sixties/beginning of the Seventies and two girls go to the city to see their favorite band. After the show they’re raped and killed by newly escaped convicts. On the run, the convicts seek refuge, unknowingly, in the home of one of their victims. The parents piece together what happened and begin their revenge…