February 12, 2013

Review: Wal-Mart Our Finest Canadian Blend T-Discs

Once in a while, something which can only be described as an oddity comes along and makes you do a double-take while your brain tries to comprehend what your eyes are seeing. It can be something slightly normal that just doesn't seem quite right... like a lime green Lamborghini sporting pink alloy wheels or it can be something completely absurd and off the wall which defies reality... like Gary Busey.

Well folks, we introduce to you today the Gary Busey of T-Discs, something which appears to be a Canadian exclusive sold only in Canadian Wal-Marts under the in-store brand known simply as Our Finest. It's also the most recent officially-licensed Tassimo product to hit Canadian shelves. Today we check out Wal-Mart's Our Finest Canadian Blend T-Discs.

Brewing these T-Discs resulted in very mild dark chocolate aromas with a faint note of smoke, but once the coffee sat in our mug for a few minutes, the aroma virtually disappeared with only the faintest hint of cocoa. Not exactly the strongest or most unique aroma we've ever experienced out of a T-Disc, so things weren't getting off to a good start.

Flavor was sadly just as lackluster. The first thing you notice are grain-like cereal notes quickly engulfed in in a strong oily taste which was followed up by dark chocolate and... is that... cigarette smoke?!? What the?!? We've heard of some recent K-Cups which others claimed smelled like cigarette smoke, but to have a coffee TASTE like cigarette smoke?!? Blech... no thanks. Wow... this review is gonna be tough to finish, but don't say we never make sacrifices for our readers as we forced ourselves to continue until the bitter, ashy end.

Acidity was masked by the oily cigarette taste, but we were still able to detect low acidic notes in the background. Unfortunately, it did nothing to aid this coffee. Body was medium reddish-brown in color and while brighter shades of orange & red came through when held in front of a light source, paired with the cigarette taste, this only reminded us of a pack of Marlboros or duMauriers. Maybe Kraft should have held a meeting with Phillip Morris instead of Wal-Mart Canada... jeeze.

Mouth feel seemed overly light and watery without any real substance at all and made for a rather disappointing experience while aftertaste was dry and yielded more ashy cigarette notes blended with faint hints of dark chocolate.

Aroma - 2 - While you get some faint notes of dark chocolate and smoky notes during brewing, the aromas disappear within the mug almost immediately after brewing. Thankfully, the smoky notes here are like normal hickory smoke and not the cigarette smoke which yields itself in the final flavors.

Acidity - 2 - We'll throw a few points here since there is some acidity noticeably present, but the overbearing flavors mostly cover it up and prevent it from doing anything useful for this coffee.

Body - 7 - While normally a bright orange and red color in a body would earn high points, we've knocked a few off here since it reminded us too much of the packaging on Marlboros or duMauriers.

Flavor - 1 - The only thing (and we do mean ONLY) that earns this coffee a point is the taste of dark chocolate which is somewhat absentmindedly floating about in the background. Some grain-like cereal notes can do nothing to hide the overly gripping taste of cigarettes which inexplicably appears to be the main flavor note in these T-Discs. No... just... no.

Mouth Feel - 1 - Overly light and watery with no substantial feel whatsoever. It only served to make an already disappointing experience even more disappointing. Aftertaste was rather dry and yielded more ashy notes of cigarette smoke and faint hints of dark chocolate.

Coffee Drinker - How the heck can we possibly describe this one? Uh... do you smoke cigarettes on a regular basis? Ever wish you could get that... er... smoky tobacco flavor in a coffee? Well look no further as Wal-Mart Canada have created their Marlboro Blend... um... we mean Canadian Blend T-Discs which should be right up your alley. Anyone else should follow Chief Wiggum's advice to move it along people, nothing to see here.

Overall Rating: 63 - Don't Drink

Ugh... never in our lifetime have we been more grateful for a coffee review to be over. That... was... harsh. Seriously, come on Wal-Mart Canada... what the frig, man?!? You have the audacity to call that your FINEST?!? If that's the case, then don't ever show us your worst. If Seinfeld's Babu Bhatt were here, we're sure he'd be wagging his finger at the packaging, yelling at it, calling it a very, very bad coffee. We're not entirely sure, but this may also be the lowest score we've ever given on a coffee review, so hey... at least that's a first.

We honestly feel bad and ashamed that this product even has the word Canadian on it, since this coffee is in no way, shape or form the finest that Canadian coffee has to offer. If you want to see what truly decent Canadian coffee can be like, pick up a pack of Nabob's 100% Colombian T-Discs or Tim Hortons T-Discs and steer the heck away from this stuff. If you don't mind your coffee tasting like a used ashtray, then by all means, have at it. All we can say is you can thank us later for saving you the pain of trying this coffee for yourself. Now, if you'll excuse us, we're off to fight other Single Serve Coffee staff for the last bottle of Listerine in our office washroom.

Wal-Mart Our Finest Canadian Blend T-Discs work in allTassimo brewers (dual barcodes for home & professional models are on the discs) and are available in 14-packs for $6.47 CAD at Wal-Mart stores across Canada and online viaWalmart.ca (providing you're daring enough to try them). These T-Discs are (thankfully) not currently available in USA.

A special thanks to SH for providing suffering through this Single Serve Coffee staff review. We would also like to note that we purchased a package of these T-Discs on our own for the purpose of this review.

Thomas Davie: DRM; still no purchase by me (and I suspect many read moreVJS: Rather loud pop this morning followed by a cloud of read moreAshley: Worst Coffee Ever! Especially the breakfast blend. It hurt my read moreVicki: It says on the package to serve with cream, milk,sweetener read moreAO: The marketing they put on these boxes of K-Cups never read more