Me and my boyfriend just got together and I just recently found out I am pregnant. Since the pregnacy has been going along, I find myself, disliking my partner. I dont like talking to him on the phone anymore (he lives 2 hours away)I dont want him to come up to see because I dont want to see him. A lot of things he does get on my nerve. He hasnt really done anything to wrong, he is a great guy, but I just dont like him anymore. I’m thinking its my hormones from the pregnancy or is there something wrong with me? Please help. I dont want to ruin a relationship because of something I can’t control.

A: I wonder if you are more angry at the situation than you are admitting to yourself. You just got together with this guy and now you’re pregnant. Since you are only in your mid-20s, this may not be what you had in mind for your life right now. To your credit, you’re not taking it out on the baby. But you may be taking it out on the guy.

It could also be that you think your boyfriend doesn’t have what it takes to be a husband and dad so you’re distancing yourself. Perhaps you think you can cut your emotional losses by pushing him away.

Whatever the reason, it’s normal to be emotional at this time. I suggest you find a counselor to help you sort out your feelings and to figure out how you want to go forward in your life. Whatever you decide to do about your relationship, the fact is that your boyfriend is the father of your child and you’ll therefore always be connected in some way. If you don’t think making him your life partner is a good idea, it still only makes good sense to work out an amicable relationship. If he’s a good guy but just not the guy for you, he should be included in your child’s life.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Check out her website at ParentAdvisor.net, follow her on Facebook or Twitter.