Thoughts on happiness, depression and spirituality

In this week’s video, Mark and Darren discuss the journey to real, lasting happiness and the difficult road of those who are really serving others.

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Spirituality is not about happiness. Spirituality is about serving others. It’s about helping other people. It’s about taking responsibility for the planet as a whole and doing the very best we can for others who need our help.

The happiness that you get from money or even relationships cannot compare to the happiness that you will eventually feel through doing the right thing; through making your life first and foremost about helping others to realize their divinity.

I think you have to be very careful when talking about depression. This is another mistake I think that is sometimes made in the New Age movement, and spiritual circles generally, is regarding depression as some kind of failure, and regarding happiness as some kind of success, and then measuring someone’s spiritual accomplishment by their level of happiness, and sometimes spiritual people kind of bending over backwards to try and show you how happy they are.

Spirituality is not about happiness. Spirituality is about serving others. It’s about helping other people. It’s about taking responsibility for the planet as a whole and doing the very best we can for others who need our help.

Now, this is inevitably going to cause a certain feeling of depression. It’s going to cause stress. It’s going to cause all kinds of suffering in anyone who is serving. If you don’t suffer at all in your life you are not serving. It’s as simple as that.

If you don’t suffer at all in your life you are not serving. It’s as simple as that.

So, obviously, all things being equal, it’s better to be happy. It has a nice vibe. It makes other people feel good. It’s a good thing. Happiness is a good thing, but it should not be your main goal. In fact, I’m not sure it should be a goal at all. It should be more a side effect of doing good.

And I think one of the biggest causes of depression on this planet is people’s obsession with happiness. And particularly today through the media we’re presented with certain so-called ideals of beauty, wealth, ease, fame, power… very readily. It’s more accessible to us than ever before in our known history. And there’s a temptation to compare yourself to others. “I’m not as good looking as so and so.” “I’m not as fit as so and so.” “My relationship isn’t as good as it should be. It isn’t as good as I’m being told it should be by advertising and TV” etc. These things are very damaging. If we can detach from that unhealthy obsession with trying to be perfect in a materialistic sense, then I think happiness will come to us effortlessly.

Not all the time, because you can’t be happy all the time. That’s not what the human mind is. And I think that’s another problem. We expect to be happy all the time. And if you are not happy, then there’s something wrong with you, or there’s something fundamentally wrong with your life. Nonsense! Happiness and unhappiness are natural peaks and troughs in life. We learn different things from the happiness and from the unhappiness. These are the things that make us who we are.

So, I’m not saying that we should celebrate depression as a virtue but I am saying that we shouldn’t judge someone spirituality by how happy they are. You could be happy or unhappy and still be spiritual. And you could be happy or unhappy and still be unspiritual.

The two do not correlate directly, except insofar as if you are really serving others you will have to go through periods of unhappiness. There’s no question. Conversely, if you are really serving others then ultimately you will find a state of being that makes ordinary worldly happiness seem silly in its smallness.

The happiness that you get from money or even relationships cannot compare to the happiness that you will eventually feel through doing the right thing; through making your life first and foremost about helping others to realise their divinity.

This series features Mark Bennett and Darren Ball. Mark Bennett is an International Director of The Aetherius Society, and co-author of Prayer Energy and the award-winning title Gods, Guides and Guardian Angels. www.markinfo.co.uk

Darren works as a volunteer for The Aetherius Society and is the creator of The Twelve Blessings website. You can learn more about Darren here.