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Sunday, December 22, 2013

I apologize
for the public forum in which I now write to you, but as I have received only a
few cursory replies to my inquiries and résumés, I feel I have no other choice. As my initial suggestions seem to have fallen
on deaf ears, I am taking this opportunity to elucidate a three-pronged
strategy to save your network. I only
hope that the public rallies behind my ideas and pressures the corporate power
structure to adopt these much-needed changes.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

It’s that
time of year again: the time when random people tell you what movies they liked
from the previous year.And while
generally these lists only provide you with information about who spends too
much time watching movies, I feel as if I can offer a unique perspective unlike
any you are likely to find anywhere else.So here they are, Folks, listed in order of how many hands the movie
would cause me to wave in the air if I had enough hands to do so.

10) The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - I thought this was going to be a
movie about spontaneous combustion.I
kept expecting people to burst into flames in every scene.This caused me a great deal of anxiety, or
would have if I’d actually seen it.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

This morning
I came across an old journal entry from December 26th, 2010 in which I shared with
myself two dreams from the night before.
Having reread the entries I now realize how imperative it is that I
share these dreams (one is more of a vision) with the world.

1) I dreamed
that President Obama appointed Andy Griffith Attorney General.