Woody Allen about his newie movie: “I always loved shooting abroad. But now, where can you go that’s safe? So I’m in Coney Island. And needing a title because now with ‘Coney Island’ being in so many names already, I can’t use it.”

I schlepped past scrap-metal junkyards to his armpit filming area. Offseason Coney Island’s unterrific. Cold, rainy, seagulls, litter, stragglers and a crew shooting a nifty blonde running up the boardwalk in high heels, crappy green waitress uniform and carrying a schlocky purse. Between six runs, her hair got retweaked under an umbrella.

“Kate Winslet,” he said. “The action is, she sees killers exit so she goes for a phone. Some of her runs weren’t good for the camera because it’s on a dolly. Also the mike was in one shot.

“This movie’s set in the ’50s, and we’re re-creating the Parachute Jump. Even sunny beaches. It’s no longer my job to have to run around and find that anymore. Today we live in the future. While I’m home, some nerd wearing glasses in an office with a computer turns dials and creates sunny beaches.

“Justin Timberlake, Jim Belushi, Juno Temple are in this. We’re filming in The Bronx and all over the city.”

Inside this greasy burger stand near the rusty sign “fried shrimp and shish kebab,” he said: “I’ve taken 6,355 steps today. I checked. And notice I keep standing. The longer you stand, the longer you live. That African who won the marathon? He’s still running. He’ll probably outlive Methuselah. If you sit, you die. To keep fidgeting is even better.”

Suppose after 10 hours standing and fidgeting you need this palace’s john?

After Kate rehearsed a few lines with him, I suggested grabbing a hot dog. He shuddered: “No, no. Can’t. If I eat one, I’ll have guilt and be up all night.”

Then: “I like dramatic, romantic movies with passion and some laughs. Today it’s all car crashes. I like that old-time stuff. I remember the days with beat cops. I remember when milk went to 11 cents my mother said:

‘Impossible. Used to be 2 cents.’ ”

He next went off on bikers. “Please. They’re not for a sane metropolis. New York’s a walking city.”

And then Woody Allen bought me a hot dog. With sauerkraut. The guy’s a sport.

Kirsten Dunst: “Everyone perceives me as sweet, but I have a dark side”. . .

Enough with candidates’ womanizing stuff. In 1865, Jefferson Davis escaped gunfire in his wife’s overcoat. The president of the Confederate States of America in women’s clothes popularized the song “Jeff in Petticoats” . . .

Channel 7’s local news, 4:05 p.m. Tuesday, the anchor gave her important update on the presidential campaign, referring to “Donald Tramp.”

Bits & Pieces

Emily Blunt, star of “The Girl on the Train,” to the Hollywood Reporter about the world’s double standard in terms of having a drink: “A guy’s a partyer, a player. A woman is a drunk, a whore” . . .

Céline Dion’s son René-Charles mightn’t be Mama’s fan. She says: “He hated my voice and used to cry every time he heard it.”