That's the fascinatingly detailed dress code currently posted in the window of Tropical Liqueurs in Soulard. The beloved Mizzou bar famous for its frozen alcoholic slushies opened its first St. Louis outpost in July, and suffice it to say, it's since developed a long — and we mean looong — list of rules for visitors.

The complete list:

* No skull caps or bandanas
* No hoods
* No baggy pants/sagging (must cover undergarments)
* No slippers or house shoes
* No MAN BAGS of any kind
* No large bags, backpacks, fanny packs or luggage
* No clothing (shirts, pants, jackets, etc.) considered to be vulgar, offensive, or likely to cause a disturbance.
* NO PAJAMAS
* Excessively torn or tattered jeans/pants/shirts/jackets
* No dirty clothing or clothing that emits an unpleasant odor
* No excessively long shirts
* NO SURGICAL MASKS

Also banned from 7 p.m. to close: sunglasses, wife beaters or tank tops on men, sweat pants or slides.

The dress code also warns that entry is entirely at the doorman's discretion: "Don't look, dress, or act like an idiot," the sign warns.

So what's going on here?

We're told the neighbors have been hard on Trops — one reason the bar had to develop vacuum-sealed go cups, even in a party-hearty neighborhood where open container laws are oft flouted. We've also heard speculation that some of the neighbors' angst is related to the fact that Trops' Soulard clientele looks less like a pack of drunk sorority gals and more like, well, this diverse city.

Even in light of all that, though, we can't help but think this is some bizarre stuff. Since when are surgical masks something to guard against? And who knew "man bags" were a scourge to be combated?

Honestly, wasn't everything so much easier in college when you could just roll out of bed in your pajamas and start drinking?

We welcome tips and feedback. Email the author at sarah.fenske@riverfronttimes.com