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The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.

Name: Chiffon

Do you like actual coffee? Then Chiffon likes you. Tea-drinkers, she can tolerate.

Do you worship at the altar of Starbucks? Get out of her store.

A smart-mouthed barista, she favors independent anything- from coffee shops to music to designers. Her blunt language has lost her plenty of jobs, but there are certain stores that favor a smart, dedicated employee unafraid to lay down the law with anyone in the store- customer and co-worker alike.

It might have gotten her killed, but her memories are fuzzy and she's more concerned with finding more coffee aficionados to brew for. Coffee is her calling, even if customer service isn't- and she has the bad references to back that assertion up. The only thing that can keep her polite is coffee- and lots of it, as fresh as possible.

Now, she works as a barista at Stars With Moon Cafe, mostly to support her own coffee habit and her beloved cat, Delilah.

Dislikes: Instagram, Starbucks, people who don't like cats, people who put more than one spoon of sugar in their coffee, people who talk too loudly, people in general, mooching off the wi-fi without even a token purchase, people who assume she buys into their more-hipster-and-cooler-than-you-bullshit.

Seasonings: White cake mix, ethically-sourced coffee beans, a few cat hairs, a Burning Man brochure, and a dash of rainwater.