In a mixer with a paddle attachment, combine the flour and the salt. With the mixer running on low speed, drizzle in (don’t just pour) the olive oil and mix until combined. Pour in the yeast mixture and mix until combined. It’s important you don’t get distracted by, for example, your ex calling.

Coat a separate mixing bowl with a light drizzle of olive oil and tip the dough in. Form a ball and toss to coat the dough ball in the olive oil. Cover tightly with plastic wrap (assuming you still have some after she left) and allow to rise for at least 1 hour, or up to 3 to 4 days in the refrigerator.

When your dough is ready, preheat the oven to 500 degrees F.

Divide the dough into two equal parts, roll out one part as thinly as possible and place on a baking sheet. If you want to make two pizzas, do the same with the other piece of dough. You probably shouldn’t eat both right away, though, if you’re just by yourself. Invite your friends over, so that you have an excuse to make two pizzas.

For the basic pepperoni pizza: spread the sauce over the pizza base. Top with the sliced mozzarella and pepperoni. Add extra cheese if you’re feeling risque, or possibly if you just don’t care anymore. You know what, go ahead. Add, like, a fuck-load of parmesan cheese (around 10 oz). You aren’t going out for a while, and you deserve a treat.

Put both pizzas (yeah, you’re making two. It’s okay, no need to hide it.) in the oven and wait anywhere between 12 and 15 minutes, or until the crusts are golden and the cheese is bubbly. Make sure to check on them periodically. Try not to get too distracted by your friends calling you and telling you they can’t come over, but that they’re there for you if you need to talk or whatever. Also, avoid thinking of her, because you’ll get caught in memories past of long walks with her and intimate moments you both had in this very kitchen. It’s okay to cry, just make sure you don’t cry on the pizza when you check on it. MAKE SURE YOU CHECK ON IT, OKAY?

When they’re finished in the oven, take the pizzas out and lay them on the counter for a couple of minutes to cool off. When that’s done, slice them however you want (traditional wedge slices are recommended), grab a beer, and go watch the game or whatever’s on TV. Remember to put the slices you don’t eat in a plastic bag to save for later.