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Author
Topic: DAMN! I Thought I was Finished with this. (Read 4722 times)

I just received a call from the Doctors office that did my stool testing a few weeks ago and it appears he has discovered that a couple of the test he ordered did "NOT" actually get performed. The nurse said he also wants to redo some of the other test because it is not uncommon for some of them to test negative the first time.

I "AM" glad that he wants to be for sure but "DAMN" I hate the ideal of having to bottle up my shit again. It is very unpleasant but we do what we have to do "Right"?

Ain't that the truth! When I was in the hospital with PCP, they kept asking for a stool sample to test for _______ (I can't remember what now). They wanted me to take a dump in this little bowl that hangs in the toilet and call them to come get a 'sample'. I couldn't call somebody in to dig around in a bowl full of my crap, so I filled their little container for them. I didn't think to ask how much they needed (evidently it wasn't much), so I filled that little jar full. When the guy came to get it, he kind of picked it up, looked at it, tossed it up, and then caught it. He commented "Now this is a first." Do they even give you a 'bowl' thing to take home or do they expect you to fish it out of the water? I really would hate to have to do that. Maybe this will add a little humor to it...

1 - put a mask on2 - put goggles on3 - take a shit on a paper plate4 - use the little spoon they provide to put a sample in the little jar (usually it will mix with something to preserve the sample)5 - do not puke yet, you're not done.6 - take the plate, put it upside down on your toilet bowl7 - flush8 - throw away the plate in your enemy's trashcan9 - enjoy not being the one who will have to analyze your crap.

David, No, you have to supply your own container and it cannot hit the water and you cannot pee in it. Mine is what I call "pissing shit" so it is very messy to begin with and then you have to fill these Little jars which have a spoon attached to the cap about the size of a q-tip. last time I used a plastic spoon or it would have taken all night to fill those jars. The jars are not that big but I don't care to fill them a drop at a time. It is somewhat comical, I would hate to know someone was watching me does this routine!

Iggy, Yeah I know, I have some real winners, don't I!

Thanks Milker, Good advice, but I don't know about the paper plate, maybe a bucket?

The poop in a jar thing is never fabulous. The last time Frau Eva tried to make me to do it, I refused.

Eva: Well, you'll need to provide three stool samples in these jars and . . . MtD: Listen, I'll tell you what I told that German pervert. If you want someone to shit in a jar, drop your drawers and do it yourself.

1 - put a mask on2 - put goggles on3 - take a shit on a paper plate4 - use the little spoon they provide to put a sample in the little jar (usually it will mix with something to preserve the sample)5 - do not puke yet, you're not done.6 - take the plate, put it upside down on your toilet bowl7 - flush8 - throw away the plate in your enemy's trashcan9 - enjoy not being the one who will have to analyze your crap.

Milker.

You forgot "1a - Breathe through your mouth and not your nose, even with a mask on."

Well, for shits and giggles, I see I am the first female to post here. I wouldn't have a problem giving a stool sample, but that's just me.

Dan, Thanks for the post but just to clarify, The CDC clinic in Jackson is "NOT" the ones doing these test. I did call them when I started having this problem and they told me I would have to see my GP Doctor which referred me to this GI specialist in Dyersburg. I suppose the CDC clinic does the best they can do but it is typical of them to always tell me when I call them to see my GP Doctor. I would think, given my circumstances, they would be more involved in my care for what ever is going on with my health. I can ONLY speak for myself but unless it is about my routine lab work they do not seem to care what else goes on with me. This is how I feel but it may be totally different for you. Maybe I expect too much.

Well, I am glad that I haven't had to give a stool sample in years!! In fact, the last time I did -- it was for a class in college -- you see, I used to be one of the one's who analyzed the shit! Of course, I later moved on to an Andrology lab and spent my days analyze semen and washing it for insemination!

shit sure does smell -- but try working all day smelling semen (i.e. bleach).

Thoughts of those tiny spoons (the ones the size of a Q-tip) take me way back. I don't know if anyone else knows what I'm talking about, but I used to use those spoons, only I got mine from McDonalds before they quit making them, for coke spoons. Edited: Of course, probably only my mind would go there. But if you don't use the little spoons, take them to some dope fiends and sell them! Might as well make a profit.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Dan J.

Dan, Thanks for the post but just to clarify, The CDC clinic in Jackson is "NOT" the ones doing these test. I did call them when I started having this problem and they told me I would have to see my GP Doctor which referred me to this GI specialist in Dyersburg. I suppose the CDC clinic does the best they can do but it is typical of them to always tell me when I call them to see my GP Doctor. I would think, given my circumstances, they would be more involved in my care for what ever is going on with my health. I can ONLY speak for myself but unless it is about my routine lab work they do not seem to care what else goes on with me. This is how I feel but it may be totally different for you. Maybe I expect too much.

I've done this twice already. In the Dutch toilets it's rather easy. because they have this built in "stair" on which the poop lies, so they can inspect it before they flush to see if all is OK (really!). So you just have to scoop from there. This stair also prevents men from pissing while standing so there's another bonus - live with a guy and never have to put the toilet back down.

How about if you just put a lot of paper in the toilet and then take you sample from the top of it, all you need is a small amount. That way you won't have to dispose of a plate etc.? Regarding smell you can put a bit of aftershave/scented something just under your nose then you will smell it much less.

Logged

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

1 - put a mask on2 - put goggles on3 - take a shit on a paper plate4 - use the little spoon they provide to put a sample in the little jar (usually it will mix with something to preserve the sample)5 - do not puke yet, you're not done.6 - take the plate, put it upside down on your toilet bowl7 - flush8 - throw away the plate in your enemy's trashcan9 - enjoy not being the one who will have to analyze your crap.

Milker.

Thanks, I was wondering how to do this myself!

I put an icecream container in the bath, and was going to hang my ass over the edge and do it that way.. but havn't been able to work up the courage (and keep taking more imodium to prevent it)

J

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"The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn`t mean that God doesn`t love heterosexuals. It`s just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavne

Hey Mike, I agree not much of a trade off there. I guess it takes a special person to do that kind of work.

Betty, I know exactly what you are talking about, I have had my time with the "coke spoon" glad those days are over.

Hey Dan, I sort of figured it was like that for everyone but I can only speak of my own experience. I know I am getting off subject here but I started the thread so I guess it is okay to Hijack my own thread..lol

In the 5 years that I have been going to the clinic it is the one and only place that has never billed me for any copay. I have come to my own conclusion that it must be some type of state rule that they are limited to what they can treat within their guidelines. The only problem, for me, is that when I see any other Doctor, they are aware of my HIV and they don't feel they are as educated in the field as Dr. Guidi and they perfer he does all my treatment because he is a HIV specialist and deals with it everyday. I can understand both points of view but it leaves me caught in the middle and not always getting the care I may actually need. I hope that makes sense

Dragonette, Thanks for the tip..

poz1970 That might work..

Betty Darling, it will get done. I actually have not picked up the" little jars" yet and everyone is just helping me find some humor in this messy situation.