"Paul Piff, also a psychologist at Berkeley, has shown that higher
status is indeed associated with more unethical and narcissistic behavior. Mr.
Piff found that drivers of more expensive cars were less likely to give way to
pedestrians or to other cars. Higher status people were also more likely to
help themselves to candies that they had been told were intended for children.
He found that they also had a greater sense of entitlement and were less
generous."

my
youngest daughter is a serious student. she is always responsible, shockingly
bright and very hardworking. getting into a great college is what keeps her up
at night and she just turned 15.

friday
morning, i woke with a jolt thinking her alarm hadn't gone off. i jumped, but
then realized that the light had changed and i was mistaken. so i said,
"don't worry, you can still sleep for ten minutes."

she
answered, "it's 6:58 and i've told you over and over that i wake up at
7:15! it is 6:58 so i still have 17 minutes to sleep - not TEN minutes!"

me: "what difference does it make if it is 17 or 10 minutes? in the
end, it doesn't matter how smart you are or what college you get into if you
are making other people feel small or stupid or taken advantage of."

i told
her (like i tell all my kids) that the most important thing they can be is
considerate to other people.

then
the construction workers started shouting and banging in front of my bedroom
window and it occurred to me that, in today's world, it's simply not
true.

many
successful, wealthy people are quite comfortable taking advantage of or hurting
the people who seem "unimportant" to them from the doorman to their
less fortunate neighbors.

the
idea that there is opportunity (or even justice) for an ordinary person - wait,
middle-class, college-educated, living in expensive real estate - is a lie.
clearly, i am not a poor person, but i am disempowered.

so,
after offering to clean up the flood, rent my apartment and fix it up, give me
the money for the repairs or even talk to me - what happened? um, nothing. zach vella went on holiday in the caribbean. AFTER hanging an enormous sign
for his project on the scaffolding outside my building.

my
lawyer asked for them to pay for the repairs or at, the very least, follow up
on all their offers. they simply ignored him. without a lot more money to pay
for legal fees, they knew i wasn't going to do more than make demands.

the end
of the TEDtalk cheered me up. it IS possible for the 1% to feel compassion, as
long as they faced it.

did i
mention i briefly saw zach on the street two weeks' ago? he avoided me and
rushed across the street to his big black SUV. (however, i do have plenty of
friends who prove that the 1% are capable of kindness and compassion)

the
truth is, none of us are perfect. we've all made mistakes or been
inconsiderate, but taking responsibility for your actions, with compassion and
empathy should not be restricted to the 99%.