Diary of a Working Mom

Well, geez, I got the first “kidHaven ain’t what it used to be” comment recently.

I knew it was coming…it was just a matter of someone saying what we’ve all been thinking – kidHaven is in dire need of some updating! When’s the last time I checked my email? I couldn’t even tell you.

This working mama has been busier than busy. I wake up, do the morning shuffle, go to work, do the evening shuffle and make it through bedtime without falling asleep with the kids about 50% of the time. Repeat daily. Lately, I rejuvinate by sitting at the beach with the kids all weekend. I once had the mountains as my escape, my place to unwind. Now, it’s the sand through my toes and sun on my skin that I long for (that I need) to recalibrate week after week. This once stay at home mom who used to go, go, go looking for exciting weekend adventures has somehow turned into a working mom that needs some serious weekend down time. Crazy how life can change so dramatically so quickly. It’s all good though. I love my work. I really, really do. The paycheck is also a necessary element in our lives that I must admit is a driving force for so much change.

I guess the point of me sitting down tonight was to give a slight explanation of what’s going on with kidHaven lately. I cannot tell a lie – it just ain’t up to snuff these days. I’ve been swamped, plain and simple, and something’s had to give. I was driving the other day (when I do my best thinking) and decided this time off from kidHaven has been my own little sabbatical. I’m in the middle of a pretty big transition in my life and need to find my new rhythm. kidHaven is still a part of the equation, I just haven’t quite worked out the details yet.

So, thank you for this sabbatical. I shall return in due time. Until then, here’s to life’s twisty, winding roads! ~kim

Well since I’m the one who wrote “Kidhaven isn’t what it used to be” I’ll follow up a little. I do really understand how life can become overwhelming and that working full time is huge when you have kids. But Kidhaven isn’t just a personal blog. If it was you could walk away from it no problem. You created Kidhaven and people found it useful and came to rely on it. That’s something you should be proud of. But when you got a job I think you could have found people to help with it to keep it going. Kidhaven used to have content. You had people writing for it that had something to say. Now it’s just a bunch of promotions for local businesses. And of course the weekend listings aren’t being kept up. So where Kidhaven used to be a community resource, it’s just left to flounder. I think that’s a shame. I guess what I’m saying is that I think you should have made arrangements to keep kid haven going. (PS. I’m not volunteering! :) )

Things change. Peoples lives evolve. You do what you need for your family. Better to let it go a bit or all together then turn a loving hobby into a dreaded burden. Kid Haven has changed but thats life. If you couldn’t do it at all anymore it would be a shame but it would be understandable. It’s obvious you care about it so people shouldn’t be getting all mad. besides it’s not your job to entertain all of Ct. Learn how to google your own events people if you don’t like it.

I think it is amazing that you have admitted the truth, others would run or hide. Personally, I am with Kathy, what thongs could others do to help? Complaining never solves anything unless you are willing to help change it.

DebE–really? If you feel so very strongly about it, you should be first in line to volunteer, instead of complaining. Offering unsolicited advice and admonitions with no offer of help is really pretty outrageous.

SBJ: I absolutely can’t offer help for a number of personal reasons. Does that mean I’m not allowed to express my opinion? What I’m trying to say is that if you build a resource for the community and then walk away from it, you leave a lot of people (including me) disappointed and disillusioned. That’s my opinion and I’m sure others share it even if they don’t have the courage to say so. If you can help, good for you — help! I can’t right now and I’m not one to extend an offer of help and then renege.

Deb.E
Given your inability to help, for whatever personal reasons, you might strive to have empathy for Kim in her situation, rather than chastising her. She has described her personal reasons for not being able to continue at the level she has previously. Kim offered a service to the community and now she can no longer do so at the level she has previously. I don’t see how she’s obligated to keep her service going in perpetuity or ensure that it continues in perpetuity. Things change.

Oh, wow. I just read Kim’s post and all the comments and have a feeling I shouldn’t get involved (as a former kidHaven contributor)….. And yet here I am, typing away. :D I don’t think an argument is going to help anything. When you create something that resonates with folks as much as kidHaven has, people will notice when things change. Some will speak up and some will just sort of go away without saying anything. I think the people who speak up are actually doing everyone a favor. Criticism can be a good thing. And I didn’t find Deb’s comments to be nasty or mean-spirited.

I’ve been very grateful to Kim for creating kidHaven, for allowing me contribute to it, and for all her late-night hours working on it. :) I do hope she can find a way to revive it… and I do offer my help if she wants it.

In any case, Kim, I hope you find a balance that works for you. Clearly you have a lot of supportive friends out there, people who are willing to help. That’s amazing.

Just so you know, Kim — I just moved here from Colorado and used your weekend listings to plan three lovely, fun, yet low-key events with my son — the Tuesday planetarium show (which I found thanks to your listing of their Sunday event!), the Carillon Concert at Yale, and the Berry Festival at Lyman Orchards. This is a wonderful resource and I am very appreciative to you for having these listings available, which has helped me to ensure that my little family has events to help us get used to our new, beautiful home here in New Haven!

Out of curiosity, are there other good places to look for happenings in the area as well? I like this resource, but if you are taking a hiatus, I’d appreciate other useful places to look… again, being new to the area, we can use all the help that we can get!

Wow just seeing this now and I’ve had a bit of a physical reaction to some of this…. I am a working mom who first wants to show support understanding and empathy to everyone I can, especially working moms. I am a working mom who tries their hardest not to judge others and to teach my children by example to do the same. Life is hard, and we do our best. One day turns into the next and you end up somewhere you didn’t expect to be. I always tell my children to be part of the solution not part of the problem. Kim’s very honest post must have been very hard to write and it clearly sounded to me like she could use a hug and a hand, not criticism (that IS what it sounded like to me, even if it wasn’t intended as such) It’s no wonder why it’s so hard to tell the truth…

Kim, I just read all these blogs about your much needed sabbatical. I wondered all those months back “how on earth can Kim be working full time, managing a family, and working on KidHaven at the same time”…. That would be something along the lines of “super woman” and in all honesty, you wouldn’t be able to juggle all those things and do any one of them well so something had to give. I am so glad to read your post about taking a break, you have to do what’s right for you and your family.

I wish I could help with Kid Haven, but can’t obviously because I am trying to stay on top of my own work:) LOL. But perhaps a great solution would be to find someone who can help with Kid Haven as it truly is a great resource for families in the area.