My Truth

I know I’ve been MIA for months, but as my last post briefly explained I was diagnosed with PPD and spent some time trying to snap out of it. I thought about documenting it on my blog, but it sounded like too much work. How much work is sitting on a computer and typing, right? Welcome to the depression mind.

I often thought about taking my kids to the park down the street and here’s how that thought process went: I have to get myself and the kids dressed. What stroller would I take? Probably the Bob but it’s in the 3rd car garage so I need to climb in there and open the door and when I get back I’m going to have to put it away. It’s hard to collapse. And I need to bring some water because it’s a little warm out. You know what? This is already too much work. I’ll do it tomorrow instead.

That’s how I felt about everything that I didn’t have to do. I wanted to do it, but the process of actually doing it felt overwhelming so I just counted the time to nap so I could lay down myself. And I didn’t even have a bad case of PPD but my experience with it was enough.

I’m confident now saying that I am feeling more like myself. I’m making plans, and getting out to meet people. I’ve lost the rest of the baby weight and feel good about the way that I look. I’m showering every day, I’ve started sewing again, and now that it’s too hot to take my kids to the park we’re going to the splash pad tomorrow. I still have my bad days, but they’re the exception and no longer the norm.

I had this moment of clarity, like I’ve come out of the other side of a storm, when looking at this picture. It’s the perfect example of what’s been going on:

I’m in a swim suit, no shower, no makeup, at the beach on a rainy day. The storm has passed (grey clouds behind us) after it just had a big downpour that was almost enough for us to pack up and leave. Yet, the smiles are genuine and it was a great day. Plus, let’s talk about how cute my munchkin is!