RoadBlock #10: Too Many Personal Stories

I wrote that number ten was: “Especially for U.S. and Canadian tellers, you are telling too many disconnected and without-context personal stories.”

I believe that when we say “storyteller,” the general public usually thinks of either a children’s entertainer or a stand-up comedian.

So, what does the average stand-up comedian do? They tell stories about the people they know, the situations they have been in. Most of them are funny, some of them a little touching. A comedian interacts with the audience, without the fourth wall, talking right to them and sometimes using what the audience says as part of the things the comedian says on stage. Sometimes they use “naughty words” that offend anyone over 21 but those words are part of the culture the comedian comes from and it is to that culture they want to speak. Maybe when the comedian uses those words, someone from outside that culture will gain knowledge about another way of thinking.

Storytellers are quick to point out that we’re not stand-up comedians.

So, what does the average storyteller do? They tell stories about the people they know, the situations they have been in. Most of them are funny, some of them a little touching. A storyteller interacts with the audience, without the fourth wall, talking right to them and sometimes using what the audience says as part of the things the storyteller says on stage. Sometimes they make cultural references that are lost on anyone under 21 but those references are part of the culture the teller comes from and it is to that culture they want to speak. Maybe when the storyteller uses those references, someone from outside that culture will gain knowledge about another way of thinking.

Oops. Perhaps those two careers are not so different. When I speak in some “Storytelling 101" classes at community colleges, every student in those rooms want to be a comedian, so they take the storyteller class. They hope I can teach them how to “make it” as a comedian. Why? For them, the choice between storyteller and comedian is this: one pays better than the other and will get you famous while the other will give you warm fuzzy feelings and get you booked at birthday parties for children. We have so much work to do in educating people about our craft. To do so, we must be categorically different than other performing arts. At the moment, we are not.

What’s wrong with telling personal tales?

In the U.S. in particular, too many professional storytellers are telling too many personal tales and further blurring the line between our art form and the work of comedians. If storytelling continues on this path of telling personal tales over the classic tales of myth, legend, tall tale and fairy tales (aka world tales), we are going to see our art form continue to slide off the radar. If storytelling and comedy were to arm wrestle right now, they would appear evenly matched to the storytelling community. But, an audience-centered art form is not about what we want or what we see. Due to the way the world moves, comedy is going to win that arm-wrestling match and be the most-listened to voice while deep, rich world-tale storytelling will go and join the broom makers at the “Old Tyme Country Renaissance Faire.”

Why the over abundance of personal tales? From my couple of decades experience, I see several reasons:

First, some storytellers are fearful or just don’t want to work hard on their stories. Perhaps they are simply uneducated in how to adapt a world tale. So, they are abandoning classic world tales because they are afraid of violating someone else’s copyright. And so they should be wary. But, if you are doing the work of storytelling and building your own versions of world tales, then you have nothing be worried about. Are you doing the work of storytelling or are you echoing the style and choices of storytellers you have seen?

Second, personal tales do take some work to dredge up but overall are easy to tell. I know this will cause some to sputter, but personal stories are easier to tell as the audience has no benchmark against your experiences. If you tell “Beauty and the Beast,” that will elicit comparisons to other versions. That is scary for some tellers. However, who can benchmark your story of “Uncle Ted and the Big Green Snake?” I think the proliferation of storytellers who have invented family members and stories who then use them as the basis for their presentations speaks to the general ease of developing personal tales and the ease of telling them to modern audiences.

Third, some storytellers are seeking therapy in telling personal tales. I’ve been in discussions where storytellers talk about “clearing out their emotions” through personal tales. Sounds great for therapy or for support groups and visits to your shrink, but it’s wrong to do that to your general audiences or otherwise force support-group status on the unsuspecting.

Should we tell personal tales?

Yes, we should. There is a place for personal tales. An occasional tale in the midst of other world tales is a good break and can create an affinity between audience and teller. It is also possible to interweave personal and world tales in the same telling. This creates the same stand-up sense that audiences flock to but also gives the audience an exposure to the greater gifts of the story and storyteller. Some personal tales are for used for historical purposes and education. Again another valid use in the correct setting. What better way is there to teach the culture of the “old southwest” than a family story passed down from storyteller to audience?So, I suggest the following for the working storyteller:

Research, learn to tell and use at least one world tale for every personal tale you develop.Tell your world tales to an audience that is not composed of children locked into a school classroom, a public library or to an audience of just your storytelling groupies. So, find some 19-30 year olds and start telling.

Develop one interlocking world tale and personal story and tell those stories as a singular experience. I am not talking here about framing: “My Uncle Ted once was bitten by a snake so that is why I am telling you now about the story of the Snake Leaves.” Go beyond framing and interweave the stories. You’ll learn more about both stories in the process.The official blog for K. Sean Buvala, storyteller and storytelling coach.

8 comments:

Hey, I get warm fuzzy feelings when I get paid after being booked at birthday parties.;)

Seriously, though, this is a good post. I have heard people tell stories that sounded like personal stories, but ended up being urban legends. For example:

I heard a singer/guitarist tell the tale of the wronged wife who sews shrimp into the hems of a set of curtains, and I bought the whole story! (In the story, he was one of the kids in the neighborhood who helped the wife with her revenge, and the punchline was that the husband and his girlfriend took the curtains with them when they moved.)

It is fntastic that you do birthday parties and that you do them well. Good on you!

I can't tell you how many "chicken soup" style stories I hear told. Eeek. The worst is when the teller claims that it IS THEIR STORY and presents it in first person. Heard that at a business training event once. She finally admitted it was not her story and that she had read it in a book- but claimed it as her own. "BUZZ! Thanks for playing and losing the integrity game!!" Oh, makes me crazy.

Thanks for the comment. More Bday parties to you! I hope it is a delightfully fun and rewarding place for you tell.

This is a great post, Sean. You've nailed some things that have bothered me but I could not define about personal stories. I attended a festival where the tellers told one personal story after another. Only one told folktales, and she was mesmerizing.

I tell a few personal stories, and I also weave some of my personal stories into traditional tall tales. I agree with you--we need to tell the old stories as often or more often than the personal stories. And personal stories must be true and real, and have meaning to all listeners. The teller needs to know what meaning(s) listeners will find in the tale, what "perennial truths." That, I think, is the only way personal stories have meaning for those who listen.

I'd like to see this in Storytelling Magazine or like venue where every storyteller could read it. It's a classic piece, Sean.

Although comedians and storytellers share the same format, their motives are different. Comedians are court jesters, speaking truth to power, mocking authority and custom, pointing out that the emperor is wearing new clothes. Woe betide the storyteller (in the storytelling community) that dares to challenge the status quo with anything other than a warm and fuzzy recollection of an earlier era. They won't be invited back to that festival ever again. Storytellers who dwell in personal memoir aren't court jesters-- they take the role of court musicians who play dinner music... a soothing escape from the workaday world.

Thanks for the comments, folks. I am grateful that you stop by and dig in to the discussion. It's all about all of us moving forward. Peace. If folkw want to subscribe, there is a subscribe box on the right hand side of the main pages.

Hi SeanThis is a wonderful discussion.Your comment: If storytelling and comedy were to arm wrestle right now, they would appear evenly matched to the storytelling community. Not sure I agree -- the storytelling community generally tends to reject comedy as 'not story'. A bit of snobbery going on and a narrow definition of story, IMHO.And yet, the paying public generally chooses comedy over storytelling -- they want to laugh. So if our stories and storytelling concerts are going to survive, then we need to make sure that thirst for humor and laughter is satisfied.sue

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About Me

Sean has been engaged with storytelling and communication since
1986 and probably before that. He started his work by accidentally using active storytelling to
convert a classroom of slightly (but comically) homicidal 8th-grade
teenagers from angry kids to storytelling practitioners themselves. From
then on, both the kids and Sean were sold on the influence of a great
story.

From kids in classrooms to bosses in boardrooms, he has taught the art of storytelling to thousands of people since 1986. With the big jobs of creating workshops for some of the best-known companies to the intimate work of writing "how to" books for parents and fatherhood programs. Sean's deep immersion into the art of storytelling helps you communicate with great clarity.

Along with his many coaching and training duties, he is an author and accomplished performance storyteller adventuring across borders and ocean waves to share his stories and training. Sean is the director of one of the oldest and most diverse storytelling websites at Storyteller.net.

Recently released "Apples for the Princess: A Fairytale About Kindness and Honesty" in a children's book. Find it at Amazon.