From James Alexander

"The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive... The only person left outside was a teenage boy who was lying flat on his back in a flowerbed outside number four."

"Come, Watson, even I could write a better introduction than that, and I am no teller of stories."

Holmes was denigrating his remarkable gifts, as usual. If he had turned his genius to children's stories he could have been a master of the genre. As it was, on that sultry June morning in Baker Street, Holmes was trying to while away the hours in a way that would not agitate his nerves. The pages of The Times lay on the carpet where he had cast them and already several pipefuls of tobacco had been knocked into the grate. I had taken the precaution of removing his Persian slipper of cocaine and also his revolver.

Holmes interrupted me with an impatient laugh. "Derivative! Such literature is nothing more than an agglomeration of cliches taken from the penny dreadfuls and worked up in the antique manner of AA Milne, CS Lewis and JJR Tolkien. Note, Watson, the tendency of such authors to hide behind their initials, suggesting a schoolmaster's reticence and also, probably, a schoolmaster's limited imagination. I have no time for inky fingers, magic and English whimsy. Halloa! What's that!"

There was a knock on the door, and a slender and expensively dressed woman entered. We could not see her face, since it was concealed not only by a large hat, from which several wisps of blonde hair escaped, but also by her gloved hands. When she lifted her head and took her hands from her face we saw that she was a very beautiful woman and that she was distressed.

"Whatever is the matter, my dear?" I asked.

"Oh, sirs," she cried, "I hesitated to disturb you, for I know that you are very busy gentlemen..."

"Really, my dear lady," interrupted Holmes, eagerly, "If you have something to say then we will be all too pleased to hear what it is without unnecessary delay."

"Thank you, Mr. Holmes," she replied, "I should say that the fee is no object."

Holmes waved his hand, and settled back into his chair. And so she told us her story.

Of all the cases which Holmes ever dealt with, the Case of the Anticipated Children's Book is one of the most trivial and, strangely, one of the most popular. Little did we anticipate when Miss Rowling walked into 221B Baker Street that Sherlock Holmes's reputation as England's finest mind would increase tenfold...