Too many couples say 'I do' without the dough: BMO

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OTTAWA — The world's most famous bride-to-be has the comfort of knowing not only that she and her fella won't break the bank with a big flashy wedding, but also that they won't have to scrimp afterward in order to live in style.

Kate Middleton can also sleep easier knowing that Prince William's wealth is a matter of public record, so he's not going to be able to hide his pounds and pence away if their marriage goes south.

But there aren't many couples coming down the aisle who can say the same. In fact, considering the degree of intimacy that marriage entails on other levels, it's surprising to learn how coy most still are about their bank accounts.

A BMO Financial Group survey released Wednesday suggests that, while most Canadians believe couples need to be on the same page financially, fewer than half of newlyweds discussed money ahead of the marriage. There was no premarital talk about how much debt they were bringing to the union, or their saving and spending habits — let alone a discussion about a financial plan to establish a firm fiscal union.

"There's no doubt (William and Kate) will face numerous challenges during their marriage. However, given the wealth of their respective families, it's pretty safe to say that financial challenges might not be at the top of the list," BMO corporate communications spokesman Nini Krishnappa said ahead of a recent wide-ranging discussion sponsored by the bank about love, marriage and money involving a wedding planner, a mortgage specialist and a retirement specialist.

"Things are quite different for the vast majority of Canadians, as we all know, when it comes to planning their weddings and settling into couplehood."

The online survey of 1,500 adults, conducted by Leger Marketing earlier this month, found that ahead of the day, just 45 per cent of couples had discussed how much they were worth — or how much they owed — and only 24 per cent had broached the topic of a financial plan. A mere 22 per cent had discussed retirement plans. A margin of error for the survey was not provided.

"Before two people get married, it's important that they have an open dialogue about their current finances," says Tina Di Vito, the head of BMO's retirement institute. "This is the ideal time to start developing a financial plan as a couple, including identifying short- and long-term investment goals."

BMO advises couples to get the money talk out of the way early. And be honest: that way the problem areas can be dealt with — and won't come back to haunt the happy couple later. And it doesn't hurt to make sure you're on the same page as far as spending and saving goals are concerned.

It would be helpful if couples could get together on that financial page during the wedding planning process, suggests Rebecca Elias, a wedding consultant for LUXE Destination Weddings.

CNNMoney.com reported in 2008 that the average wedding cost $22,000, Elias said.

The Middletons and the Windsors are splitting the cost of their wedding. According to the media briefing book from St. James's Palace, the Royal Family, with a "private contribution from the Middleton family," will pay for the wedding — dresses, service, flowers, carriage procession and dinner — while the government will take care of incidentals such as security. There was no dollar figure given on the cost, but estimates have put it at anywhere from $15-68 million.

"Traditionally, the bride's parents paid for the majority of costs, but that's not the case anymore necessarily," says Elias. "Parents will split the costs, brides and grooms will split the bill themselves. There is no norm anymore with weddings, so make sure obviously to have that crucial discussion about where money is coming from before you get the ball rolling."

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Too many couples say 'I do' without the dough: BMO

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