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FRIDAY, AUGUST 21, 2009 |

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Here's a tip, and no, it has nothing to do with your caloric intake. It has to do with your experimental noise intake. The LA sound machine HEALTH is planning a new release called Get Color on September 8th. We'd recommend purchasing the physical CD, because HEALTH has gone Willy Wonka on us all, and hidden 66 prize tickets in the first shipment. Quickly preorder, and the 'color' you 'get' could be gold!

The tickets come in several colors, with the single gold ticket being the grand prize. Finding the gold ticket means a "Los Angeles Adventure" with round trip airfare and a few days of hanging out with the band, a pretty sweet prize all things considered. But the other colors aren't too shabby: they include personal items, free VIP tickets, intoxicated video chats, even copies of the LP signed in blood... the prizes range from kooky to downright creepy. But hey, as we well know, these guys can be a bit eccentric.

You need to read the complete prize list, written by the band, to believe it. They have a particular taste for writing in all caps. They aren't yelling (we think...). Check out these prizes:

GOLD.
1ST PRIZE.
LOS ANGELES ADVENTURE
ROUND TRIP AIRFARE. THREE DAYS AND TWO NIGHTS OF NON STOP ENTERTAINMENT. YOU ARE STAYING WITH US. WE WILL TAKE YOU TO MAGIC MOUNTAIN. WE WILL TAKE YOU THE ZOO. WE WILL BRING YOU BREAKFAST IN BED. WE WILL LOVE EACH OTHER.
DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE BEEN REMANDED TO EITHER A PENITENTIARY OR A MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY FOR A CUSTODIAL SENTENCE UP TO OR EXCEEDING 30 DAYS, PLEASE PROVIDE US WITH FULL DISCLOSURE. THIS IS FOR OUR SAFETY AND YOURS.

MULTI COLOR
2A - 2B
CARE PACKAGES.
THESE WILL BE COMPRISED OF PERSONAL ITEMS FROM EACH MEMBER.
SURPRISE CONTENTS MAY RUN THE GAMUT FROM A REJUVENATING FACIAL MASK TO A FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH OF B.J'S MOTHER.

VIOLET
4A - 4D
INTOXICATED VIDEO CHAT + ARTS AND CRAFTS TIME.
WE WILL GET STEADILY INEBRIATED WITH YOU OVER I-CHAT WHILE WORKING ON A PROJECT TOGETHER. WE COULD MAKE A BIRD FEEDER OUT OF A MILK CARTON. WHEN WE ARE DONE WE CAN SEND EACH OTHER THE FINISHED PRODUCT
NOTE: THE UNITED STATES POST OFFICE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO SEND BODILY FLUIDS VIA STANDARD MAIL.

ORANGE
5A - 5E
AUTOGRAPHED VINYL
WE WILL SELECT A FAVORITE ALBUM FROM OUR COLLECTIONS, SIGN IT AND SEND IT TO YOU.
NOTE: AUTOGRAPHS WILL BE SIGNED IN INK, AS THE BLOOD FEATURE APPLIES
ONLY TO 3A - 3C

RED
6A - 6F
AUTOGRAPHED BOOK.
WE WILL SELECT A BOOK FROM OUR PERSONAL LIBRARIES AND INCLUDE A SIGNED INSCRIPTION. FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS ANY GENRE PREFERENCES BUT BARE IN MIND THAT COOKBOOKS AND INSTRUCTIONAL/SELF HELP GUIDES ARE OF LOW AVAILABILITY.

GREEN
7A - 7G
GUEST LIST FOR TWO
WE WILL PROVIDE YOU AND A FRIEND WITH FREE TICKETS TO A HEALTH SHOW NEAREST YOU. ADDITIONALLY, WE CAN SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER BACKSTAGE. BEER AND SNACKS WILL BE COMPLIMENTARY.
NOTE: RESTRICTED TO CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES

BLACK
8A - 8H
1 HEALTH T-SHIRT
IF YOU PREFER, YOUR FAVORITE MEMBER OF THE BAND WILL WEAR THE SHIRT FOR AN ENTIRE DAY BEFORE IT IS SHIPPED TO YOUR DOORSTEP.

BLUE
9A - 9I
AUTOGRAPHED 7"/ AND A LOCK OF A BAND MEMBER'S HAIR.
REALISTICALLY, THE LATTER ITEM WILL COME FROM EITHER JOHN OR B.J., DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE THE MOST LOCK WORTHY HAIR.

MAGENTA
10A - 10J
MISCELLANEOUS
10A A HISTORICAL THEMED PHONE CALL FROM THE BAND.
10B A RECORDING OF BJ COVERING A 90'S SONG OF YOUR CHOOSING.
10C A RECORDING OF A SHORT STORY READ BY A BAND MEMBER.
10D WE WE'LL PERSONALIZE YOUR VOICEMAIL GREETING.
10E A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS FROM THE BAND.
10F AN ASTROLOGICAL CONSULTATION WITH JUPITER'S MOTHER.
10G A COPY OF JOHN FAMIGLIETTI'S STUDENT FILM.
10H AN UPLIFTING PHONE CALL FROM HEALTH'S MANAGER.
10I A PERSONALITY TEST HAND COMPLETED BY A BAND MEMBER
10J A BAG OF JUPITER'S CAT'S HAIR PLUS A PHOTO OF HER.

On second thought, some of this might not be so good for you. Personally, we're crossing my fingers for "A recording of BJ covering a 90's song of your choosing." We've always wanted to hear HEALTH's idea of "Semi-Charmed Kind Of Life."- joe puglisi