How to Catch a Cheating Spouse

Expose the lies and deception

Welcome to our site dedicated to victims of infidelity. If you are looking to join an infidelity forum, or a local support group, please see the sidebar for relevant links. PLEASE READ THIS REMINDER : When leaving comments, do not include your personal details (real name, phone number, email, facebook, or real life address). We do moderate the comments, and sadly blogger does not allow us to edit out your personal details, so if you would like to be able to display your comments, do not include the above info or we will not post it for your own privacy. Posting your ex-husband / wife / boyfriend / girlfriend's personal information because they cheated on you is NOT ALLOWED. Also, please do your own research on state laws before using any spy tools, we will not give you legal advice. All information provided is for educational purposes only.

In order for this kit to be even slightly useful, you'd have to apply them to all articles of clothing your spouse has used during the day/week/month or however long your investigation lasts. That means potentially hundreds of dollars will be used just to keep buying these sperm detectors until you are satisfied that no cheating is going on, not very efficient.

If you've read the signs of a cheating spouse article, in it I mention one of the common signs a cheater displays : heading immediately to the bathroom when they get home. They do that to double check their clothing, and clean up their bodies. Another sign is packing a change of clothes with them, real common for cheaters who use the "gym" excuse to leave the house. Your kits will be useless against a smart cheater, and although semen stains can last for a few months when left alone, if the stain is properly cleaned, it won't be detected by the kits nor any type of UV black light.

Reasons you SHOUDN'T buy a semen testing kit :

These test kits are mainly designed for men to catch their wives or girlfriends cheating. If you're a woman, you wouldn't need to detect for semen unless you suspect the affair happening at home, or in the car. Even then it's still unreliable because there's always going to be an excuse for it : "I masturbated"; the results of your test won't count for anything because of that excuse, and what I always recommend is NEVER confront unless you can 100% prove your accusations.

It's EXPENSIVE. $30 to $50 is not, but the amount of strips you are going to need will not be as little as you think. You'll use up the 5 or 25 strips you buy, then you'll start thinking "what if I just missed it? I should get more". A box of testing strips (25 stirps) will cost you $50, how many articles of clothing, bedsheets, or car seat covers are you going to check for semen stains? This could last as little as a week or a month, especially if you're at that stage where you just recently discovered possible signs of an affair and are extremely paranoid.

For men : you could mistakenly detect your own semen. Semen, when not properly washed out of clothing, will stain it; semen stains can last for several months unless cleaned properly. While you may feel like some kind of CSI or private eye doing your own sperm test at home, you will need to make sure there was absolutely none of YOUR own semen on the clothing, bedsheets, or car covers you are testing. This is not a DNA test, it's a simple semen detector, so you won't be able to tell if it's yours or someone elses. You might even need to test everything twice, once where you normally go about your life, and again after you withhold any type of sexual encounter with your spouse to eliminate the chance of you detecting your own sperm.

For those who still want to buy a semen detection kit

Make sure you buy a cheap UV blacklight along with your semen detection kit, it will save you a lot of money on wasted strips.

A UV blacklight will illuminate any dried semen, along with any other types of bodily fluid stains on your clothing, bedspreads, or car seats. From there, you can smartly use your test strips to determine whether or not it's semen.

There's so much more cost effective options available to you than doing your own semen test at home, which I still don't believe contributes anything for catching a cheating husband because of the above excuse I mentioned.

Maybe if the kits only cost $5 per 25 strips, I would happily recommend using it, but $30 for 5? or even $50 for 25 strips? Not worth it to use for women, and expensive to use for men; not a recommended way to catch a cheating spouse.

Note : I just saw the top semen spy kit being talked about on Jay Leno the other day! Someone was selling it on ebay for $80!

Helpful Links

If you're 100% sure that your friend is cheating on their spouse, would you tell their spouse?

Would you sacrifice your happiness and stay in a disfunctional marriage for your children's sake?

Ways To Take Action

National Domestic Violence Hotline (US Only)
If your spouse is physically, sexually or emotionally abusive, or you know of someone who is being abused, talk to them and make them call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Government trained counselors will give you advice and help you select from all the available local programs you can join for dealing with domestic violence. Help is available in more than 139 languages. Don't be afraid to "out" your abusive spouse, especially if you are a man being emotionally abused.
http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/

Surviving Infidelity Forum
Vent your infidelity problems. This is another huge help in your recovery. Let others know of your problems, and how you've dealt with it, as well as listen to their stories. Our forum is moderated, and allows you to be anonymous. We don't tolerate spammers and flamers. Update 2014: Due to large amounts of spam, we've frozen both forums. It's almost impossible to keep up with the spam unless we get volunteer mods. You can still leave comments on either blogs.
http://howtocatchacheatinghusband.blogspot.com/p/forum.html

Join a support group
Alcoholics have alcoholics anonymous, victims of infidelity have anonymous infidelity support groups. Being a former attendee, and Mike being a former coordinator, we believe this to be a huge help in recovering from an affair. This is not only limited to Americans, search the list of countries here.
http://www.beyondaffairs.com/BAN/cities.htm