As many of you
have noted, The Ribbon has been on a brief hiatus. Jamie, AKA
DrMom1955, the heart of The
Ribbon, has been
dealing with the decline of her beloved grandfather for the last
few months. In the past month, the vigil has been more intense
and Jamie has been needed elsewhere. The following message,
thanks to Liza513, was sent to me on March 5th....

Hi
everyone,

DrMom1955 (Jamie) called me this afternoon. Her grandfather who
has been ill for some time passed away in his sleep early this
morning. The arrangements are as follows:

Name of Grandfather: Allen L. Bradford ("Bree")

Woodlawn Funeral Home
660 Thompson Lane
Nashville, Tennessee 37204

The services will be held at the funeral home Tuesday at 1 PM
central standard time.

You can send e-mail cards to Jamie .... DrMom1955.

Hugs to all of you,

Joyce

I know all
of you will reach out and share Jamie's loss. As caregivers, we
all feel the pain of losing a loved one. Whether it is because we
have already lost our own loved one or because we struggle daily
with care and know in our hearts that the pain is yet for us to
face, we embrace each other and give each other strength.

The lesson is reinforced...there is strength in sharing. Reach
out and touch someone.

March 4, 2000. It was Sunday, March 4, 1956. Ann and I went to
church in the morning and then out to a quick lunch. I dropped
off Ann at her apartment to get ready and packed while I drove
out to the farm to pick up Ann's mother and grandmother. Leo and
Shirley Walsh picked up Ann and we all met at the Southern Pines
Baptist Church about two o'clock. There were only about ten
people there, just family and close friends, and Leo and Shirley
stood up with us. The service didn't take more than twenty
minutes at most. We said our I dos, I kissed the bride, and we
walked out of the church husband and wife. We said our thank you
and good-byes got into the old 1951 Mercury and took off to the
mountains for our honeymoon. Yes, it was a very simple and quick
service, but the vows we said were just as important to us as if
it would have been one of the larger more fancy weddings. Surely,
she was my beautiful bride.

That was forty-four years ago today and we are still in love.
What a wonderful forty-four years it has been. We have been
blessed, blessed, and blessed again by the Lord. When I think
back over all His goodness to us I am overwhelmed. There is no
accounting for it except that His love for us is beyond all human
understanding.

I will celebrate this our special day by trying to tell Ann that
she is still my beautiful bride, and that we are still in the
love and care of our Lord and Saviour. I wrote a poem for her
which I will read to her hoping she gets some of it. Love has a
way of piercing through the darkest clouds; maybe it will break
through to her today.

Beautiful Bride

Love more than love became my bride.
She gave of herself in most humble pride.
These many long years stayed at my side.
My Ann, my Ann, my beautiful bride.

Locked in love two hearts became one.
Drawn together by the love of the Son.
Two lovers walking in wondrous stride.
Ann, my Ann, my beautiful bride.

My wife, my women, to her I would sing.
Life's long song as love birds on the wing.
Together we've winged through all life's tide.
Ann, my Ann, my beautiful bride.

Time is fleeting while loving hearts are beating.
Tested by many trials, yet love is still revealing.
His power to overcome, He is always at our side.
My Ann, my Ann, my beautiful bride.

Hi,
I'm a caregiver for my Mother who lives with my husband and
myself. Since my Mother has been with us 10 months. She has
Dementia. After reading all the Emails from so many I feel I'm
not alone. The struggle and sad feelings I have regarding my
Mother becomes so painful. Never thought it would be this hard
taking care of her. At times I get so stress I go to my higher
power. I also say to myself this is your Mother the person who
always took so good care of you. And I want so much to do the
same for her. I hope everyday I will be able to do my best in
caring for her. I want to take care of her needs and want her to
be happy. I feel at times that my stress level is so high. Over
the months I have done a lot better unstinting her Dementia and
have read books on the subject also. I am now planning on a
family support group program. I hope it will help me understand
more just what she is going thought and how I can better help her.
Sometimes I wonder WHY! I'M SO STRESSED.
LINDA/WA

Important
Announcement - Caregivers Chat

Hi Everyone

After careful consideration, we have decided to cancel the
Tuesday Night Alzheimer's and Dementia Support Group. You are all
very important to us and we wanted to do what was best for the
group as well as for ourselves. The following changes will be
effective immediately.

The Caring for Elderly Loved Ones will remain on Tuesday Evenings
but will be moving to 8 PM EST slot and will be in Positive Reflections.
As always, Alzheimer's and Dementia Caregivers are welcome here.

The Friday Night Alzheimer's and Dementia Support Group has
remained unchanged. It will continue to be at 9 PM EST in Health Conference.

Once again we want to thank you all for your support. We have
tried to make the changes without any disruption in the support
network. As always after each chat the private room CSG will be open for late comers or those
just wishing to continue the chat.

Dear
Rita,
I am full of tears right now, having read your letter in The
Ribbon.
It hit home. I know that the very thing Mom would want as she
"passes thru the next portal" is for her kids to "come
together". Your tale is every Mom's wish..that her kids
would continue on with what she had hoped to establish in her
family...lots of love. Wishing you well. Ann

The following e-mail
was forwarded to me by our Webmaster, Weather91, AKA Kevin.

Thank you, Mary!

Community Extends Beyond The Walls of the Community Hospital

Home care is a topic that has received much attention primarily
in regard to Medicare investigation of allegations of fraud. The
real crime attached to the concept of Home Care is that the
members of our respective Communities don't understand what
Home Care is all about, or what benefits they actually have under
Medicare Home Care coverage. What is even worse, they do not know
the many different options available to them regarding Home Care
services.

We are a Geriatric Consulting and Home Care Company located in
Pennsylvania. We have existed in the same location for over ten
years. We are there to service the members of this particular
community. To this day, we, and therefore the services we provide
are ignored by the Hospital Community. This is evidenced by the
comments we so often hear from people who acquire our services;
comments such as, "Oh I never knew you existed; where were
you five years ago when I really needed help with my mother; why
didn't the hospital tell me about you?" The point is
that we have been in this community, and are not known the way we
should be. Why is this? Most people needing geriatric care
services and home care services first find out about such
services while being a patient in a hospital environment. Local
hospitals have their own Home Care services. However these Home
Care services are offered under the Medicare Program. What
exactly does this mean? Licensed by Medicare means that Medicare
will pay for a portion of the services needed by the patient. The
key word here is Portion. By law Hospitals are required to
provide a listing of Medicare Funded Home Care Agencies to the
patient, in order to alleviate any perception by the patient that
the hospital isn't recommending their own Hospital's
Home Care service over any others. However, it is not mandated by
law that this listing include Home-Health Care companies that are
Non-Medicare Certified. And although it is important for Seniors
and Caregivers to have a listing of both types of Home Care
service providers, the majority of Hospitals opt not to include
the non-Medicare Home Health Care Companies.

Why, you may ask, is it important that people know the
differences between a Home Care Agency that provides services
covered by Medicare and Non-Medicare Reimbursed Home Care
Services? Because the majority of services you will need to
acquire for the person needing Home Care will be provided under a
Non-Medicare Home Health Care Company. Lets look at what Non-Medicare
Home Care means. Over the years it has been portrayed to people
that a Non-Medicare Home Care provider is bad and that a Medicare
Licensed Home care Agency is good. Yes, it is that simple, yet
totally false. Whether a home care company is reimbursed by
Medicare (government) or paid privately by citizens (which is the
case for a non-Medicare private home care company), does not, -
let me repeat this, - does not, guarantee that one kind of
provider of these services is better or performs better than the
other. It is strictly a way to differentiate the type, amount of
services, and the way that home care is paid for. And thats
it! The propaganda that has occurred over the past 10 years has
included the notion that if the services are provided by
Medicare, since the government is supervising its operation, then
the Medicare Home Health Care Agency necessarily offers better
quality and provides better care than a Non-Medicare Home Care
Provider. This is propaganda, and nothing is further from the
truth. Quality of Care is attained and maintained, not by
government intervention, but by the motivation of the owner of
the Home Health Care Company, and its employees. Nothing more.
There are owners of private non-Medicare home health Care
companies that have a strong sense of commitment and passion, to
offer the highest quality of home health care service to its
clients, just as there are Managers of Medicare-based Home Health
care agencies who do the same. In contrast, there are horrible
private non-Medicare home health care companies and equally
horrible Medicare home-health care agencies. Private non-Medicare
home health care companies offer services in addition to those
provided by the Medicare home health care companies. The problem
is that people in their respective communities never get to hear,
come to understand or to know about the majority of community
based non-Medicare home health care services because the hospital
who is the patients first contact regarding this type of service
does not adequately inform the community about them. For whatever
reason, representatives from non-Medicare home health care
companies are not welcomed in the majority of hospitals when they
attempt to share information about their services. This practice
by Hospitals negatively affects its patients and families, since
it is at these times when the Senior and Caregivers are most
vulnerable that they NEED as much information as possible so that
they can decide on the best course of action for themselves or
their loved ones. It is the responsibility of all Physicians,
Nurses, Social Workers and Discharge Planners to advise their
patient as to ALL home health care options, not just a select few.
One would think that any type of service that offers quality care
in a particular Community would be welcomed, and nurtured. The
reality is however that services such as the one I have described
to you are not utilized to its fullest potential within the
community, thereby not enabling the community member to benefit
optimally from all services available in his or her community.

I hope that there will come a time when people in their
respective Communities will come to realize that there is much
information, aspects and options relating to Geriatric Care
Consulting and Home Health Care Services that the Hospitals are
not providing to its patients. Hopefully this will be sufficient
motivation for people to work diligently at finding out
information for themselves. In spite of people needing to choose
home health care for themselves or their loved-ones when they are
the most vulnerable, they will need to muster the strength and
courage to be leaders, not followers, in investigating ALL the
home care options that are available to them, and then acting on
them. The rule of thumb in the area of finding quality Home Care
services needed to supplement the very few hours that a Medicare
Home Care Agency provides, is to listen to all recommendations
offered, but then thoroughly to investigate options yourself or
hire a Geriatric Care Manager (Consultant) to do this for you.

Dear Kevin: Hi. I hope that you are well. I am submitting this
article for your review and consideration. I believe that the
people who are members of The Ribbon will benefit from reading
about this topic. Please advise me of your decision.
Thank You.

Dear
Friends:
I now have all the Ribbons in a nice folder to share with someone
else. I have to tell you that I lost the love of my life of 53
years on Dec. 14. With all your help he was able to live a
comfortable life. The Alzheimer's Assoc. was very good to me and
all the legal help you had on line I was able to make new legal
papers and everything has gone well.

I need to tell you that he only had 2 years but in that time he
went so fast. Aricept did not stop it. He took to the end but
could not talk, I feed him to keep from choking, hospital bed,
and all comforts were given by the Insurance. His prayers were
answered of his not having to be taken to a care home. He even
went to daycare in the end 3 days a week. Thank Goodness for all
his friends who gave him a wonderful farewell with full Military
Honors. Family misses terrible but I want to thank you for so much
help of sending me the Ribbon.
Norma Lunnon, Fullerton, Ca.

I took my mother to the doctor last week and she has lost more
weight, now weighing 86 pounds. She has lost 10 pounds since this
past October. Her doctor took her off of Zoloft and Trazadone and
put her on Remeron. Do you know of anyone that is taking this
medication or know anything about it? The doctor said this would
help her depression and should case her to gain weight.

I found a little article in San Diego Union yesterday. UCSD is
studying the effects of caregiving on spouses who are primary
caregivers of people with Alzheimer's.

Eligible participants will receive 10 days of in home respite
care. The Alzheimer's Caregiver Project involves the study of
Caregivers' stress, social support, coping and patient
functioning. Participants will be interviewed three times and
monitored for stress hormones, blood pressure and heart rate
during a two month period. All protocols may be conducted in your
own home.

For more information, the number listed was 858-534-3211 or 858-534-3428.

A warning has been issued by SmithKline Beecham Pharma
that ReQuip (ropinirole), a treatment for Parkinson's
disease, may cause patients to suddenly fall asleep.

A Personal Note

February is always a trying month, what with the ravages of
winter setting in and Feb.'00 has been no different.

Feb. 14th was the first anniversary of the passing of my dear
friend, alzjane198, AKA Jane Levy. For those of you who were
blessed to know her, I know you still feel her loss as well as
her presence in your hearts. I will always be thankful to have
known her, the caregivers caregiver.

For those of you who would like to know more about her, a Special
Issue of The Ribbon was sent out on Feb.21, 1999. You can
view this issue on the web site at www.theribbon.com.
The message board at the site is dedicated to Jane and there are also wonderful thoughts at the
Dedication Garden area.

One last note......this past week I lost a loving person in my
life....my ex-father-in-law passed away at the age of 93.
Although his son and I have been divorced for many years, "Pop"
was still a person who shared many of the major events of my
children's lives....birthdays, graduations, weddings. He was a
kindhearted man and a sterling example for my children of how a
person should be in life and he will be sorely missed.
His struggles with his health over the last few years have taken
a heavy toll on the entire family and on all who knew and loved
him. He was cared for by my brother-in-law who sacrificed much
for his father's care.

I am reminded of a comment made by my daughter, not too many
years ago when she was in college. She recognized that she was
very blessed to have, at the age of 20 or so, 4 living
grandparents. Most of her friends where not so fortunate. Now, my
mother, fighting the battle of AD and living in a personal care
facility, is the only remaining grandparent.

The cycle of life goes on. People come in and out of our lives....touching
us, changing us.....Jane, Bree, Pop....making us better people
for the understanding and love they force us to feel. When I look
at my darling grandson, Coleman, only 6 months old, I pray that
someday he will have these same feelings of love and life in his
heart. The past will shape his future. May it be filled with love.

Karen

I know I speak for Jamie when I thank you all for your
understanding in the delay of getting The Ribbon out to you. We
hope to be back on track in the very near future. Please continue
to send your notes, thoughts, feelings and articles to share in
future issues. YOU are The Ribbon!