An Answer to Unschooling Doubt

So many of our fears are a destructive cocktail of conditioning mixed with expectation. This is something we need to be intentional about exploring and dismantling but as well as that there is another thing we often forget to consider.

A lot of things that seem like concerns are instantly solvable by the simple fact that you’re there. You’re not helplessly watching as things unfold like a movie, you are there to actively invest in solutions alongside your child. Any potential conflict you might face as you live a life without school with your family will have your presence and your perspective.

Always remember: you contribute to this story. You do not have ownership, you do not control it but you are a part of it. And a far more dynamic influence than schooling could ever be; you can adapt and meet the specific needs of your child as they occur, the answers are not predetermined or standardised as they would be within a schooled circumstance.

Are you worried about socialisation? You’re there to seek social opportunities, to find the spaces that satisfy your child’s personal preferences for connecting with others.

Are you concerned your child might not understand a historical reference within pop culture? You’re there to explain it and fill them in if they’re curious.

Are you anxious that your child is not yet feeling competent enough to fill out a form? You’re there to assist until it is no longer necessary – just as you did with tying their shoes or preparing their food.

Are you freaked out at the prospect of your child staying up “all night”? You’re there to support them in navigating their feelings, needs and any difficulties that eventuate from their choices.

When you have a fear, step back and consider the validity of the concern but also; where am I? What can I offer to this situation?

Stripping away school and then further than that curriculum and arbitrary expectations and conditions may seem like you’re removing all the scaffolding. But your child is not navigating the world alone. You’re there — to problem solve, to fill the gaps, to guide, to help hold all the pieces together till they build their own support structure.

You can find the answer to your doubts. You can be the answer to your doubts.

You are there, together. Consensually and collaboratively, you can figure this all out in the way that makes most sense to your child and their actual life. And when you consider it from that perspective, could there really be any way that is more reassuring?