>> Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I was reminded today that I needed to update on how the service went. It went fine. That's really the best word I can use to describe it. It turns out the things I was worried about were not the things I should have been worried about.

The graveside service was my favorite. It was much more intimate, only close family and friends. It was much simpler, but much more meaningful for that very reason. My Father-in-Law had served our country in the Marine Corps. in his youth, so he was given a military burial, complete with 'Taps' being played on a single trumpet and a flag draped over the coffin before being folded and presented to my Mother-in-Law. Both of my boys were fascinated by the trumpet player, who stood at quite a distance from us, as they do. With incredible precision, the Marines took hold of the corners of the flag as is lay over the casket, and then 'popped' it up to flat so they could begin folding. It was really neat. Elijah thought so, too, and in the midst of all of the silence he said "Wow! That's cool!" Mark's Uncle Rick said "You are absolutely right, young man, that is very cool." It was a sweet moment and I know my Father-in-Law would have loved it.

The service at the church was simply what it was. I do not want to disrespect anyone on this blog, so I won't say much. I will just say that I do not agree with the teachings of the church where the service was held. I had my eyes opened to some things I didn't know and it has changed my opinion of this particular denomination. I still believe they are Christians and are lovely, wonderful people. There was just an area of doctrine that I used to consider a gray area that I no longer do. It was preached yesterday in black and white and it is something I believe to be wrong. Needless to say, that colored my opinion of the service and so I have very little positive to say about it.

The luncheon afterwards was nice. The church was very generous in the spread they provided and it was nice to visit. Some of my husband's relatives that I consider among my favorites live very far away, so it was nice to see them and catch up a little bit. The thing that was interesting was that instead of finding myself defending the joy of the Lord and peace I was feeling, I found myself having to defend my life choices. A lot of Mark's family members do not understand my decision to stay home with our children if we can't afford to buy a home. This is a priorities issue and we just have different priorities. None of them were unkind. They mean well, they just don't understand.

So now it's done. It was relatively painless and sometimes downright pleasant. Not that I need to do that again anytime soon. Nor do I want my own memorial service to resemble it in any way. But it was what it was. Now we can begin putting our life back together again. I feel like the last couple of weeks have had us in a holding pattern. Unable to really start finding normalcy until the services were over. I have felt like we've been kind of treading water, keeping our heads just enough above the surface. Meanwhile laundry is piled up and I almost forgot to pay for Elijah's preschool this month. Tonight we will have dinner with a few of Mark's out-of-town family but then tomorrow I will not be getting out of my pajamas. The kids and I will lay in bed in the morning and watch cartoons together. Then we'll get up and have a fun, productive day. Clothes will be washed and bathrooms will be cleaned in between games of Candy Land and Legos. And we will begin seeing what normal life feels like without my Grandma Kay and my Father-in-Law, Lee.