E4500 how to keep stable?

Ok I need to Oc my E4500. I never oced and my system is:
intel p35-DS3L
800mhz 2gb ram memory(one card :\\ )
and I have arctic cooling pro 7 or something like that
i hace e4500 of course and I want to get it to about
2.9-3.0 my 8800 gt.
I dont know almot anything about oc and I want to keep the cpu's life span long. I'm afraid to screw up cause once i do oc on my cpu I no longer have insurance on it.
so can you tell me what to change in the bios and how? step by step?
thanks in advance.

Here are some settings you could use to get 3.0GHz with your E4500 assuming the CPU can handle 3.0GHz at 1.35v or less (this OC is very doable with these settings). These arent difinitive, it is all based on the CPU, but these settings are solid for the board itself and should get you started.

Depending on what bios you have, you might have to press [CTRL+F1] in the main bios menu to access advanced memory timing options.

You also need to download CPU-Z to check settings from within windows. The main CPU tab and memory tab are the important ones. Also use CoreTemp to monitor your CPU's temp at idle and load. To put a load and stress test your OC, run Prime 95. All of these programs can be found in the downloads section.

Here are the E4500 CPU pecs. This is for the M0 Revision. Verify yours is M0 and not L2 by running CPU-Z and seeing what is displayed in the rvision box on the CPU tab:

Thanks! I didn't get all of that completely but I'm sweeping through guides and stuff atm and I'm trying to understand it all better but I need a better version of the bios for my GA-P35-DS3L cause mine doesn't seem capable of Ocing cause its the basic one coming with the card. Could someone link me to a trustworthy bios download?

I have a very similar machine.
I use my onboard video card for actual hands on work, but the machine is used solely for Vista Media Center and accessed using Linksys Media Extenders and remote desktop for administration.

I'm new to this board, and I'm unsure of the best way to find overclock settings based on my specs..CPU, MoBo, Ram.. I like the addition of posting system specs for users. Is there a search that can search people systems settings?

3.0 is very doable. thats where I am at currently with an AC freezer 7 pro. 3.0 ghz 1.265v cpu, bus speed is at 333, i have the ram strap set for 1000mhz, and everything is archived at stock voltages, my max load temp is 45C, everything seems stable after several hours of orthos.
as erieod said everything will depends on your particular hardware.