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Author
Topic: Worried yet again - reply needed (Read 7273 times)

I had protected vaginal sex with a high risk woman. During the sex she begin bleeding, but we continued. When i took the condom off it was about 'half-way' on my fella, but i was pretty 'soft', could something have got in the condom since it was fairly placid???

Also, ofcourse I began having strange symptoms, aches and pains all over (pits,insides of feet,groin,sore throat,sun-burned look to face,etc....) and have caught a couple colds this season which is very rare for me.

I tested at the 7 week mark at a local aids charity center which they take care of people w/ the disease. The test was a oral swab test, and i swabbed the upper and lower gums 1 time across. Is this effective? I realize that a test prior to the 3 month mark isn't conclusive.

Should i be worried like i am??? Thank you guys for your help and have a great holiday.

You need to understand that people are NOT high or low risk, ACTIVITIES are high, low or no risk.

Along with reading the Transmission Lesson linked to in our Welcome Thread, here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER TESTING OVER THIS INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I have been following this forum for some time and would like to first thank you for all you do here. I had a particular incident about 3 months ago which hasn't let me at ease since. The encounter was with a promiscuous woman who i later found out to be heavily involved w/ drugs. We had protected vaginal intercourse although she "tore" midway through and bled quite a bit. We kept going though which is what concerns me. I became pretty limp and am worried that the condom may have not been as tight of a fit as should be, b/c it had slid down about halfway.

To make things worse, by girlfriend has been having very wierd 'symptoms' lately. She is always in perfect health so this is odd. She's been having very severe back and stomach pains,headaches,general aches,sore throat with large visible reddish white bumps in throat (this one really scares me),and is very fatigued and gets dizzy to the point of having to lay down.

I tested w/ an oraquick at about 5-7 wks post incident. Please tell me if i should re-test so that i can get back to living a normal anxiety-free life. Thanks again for your help and happy valentines day to all

First of all, please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread. I have merged your threads here.

Limp or not, you had a condom on and it stayed on. So the conjectures you're making about the woman you were with and her bleeding and everything else are irrelevant. You had a condom on. HIV+ blood, if it was even present, did not "sneak" into your condom and your penis.

Your gf's health issues are something she should be discussing with her doctor if they are problematic. Yours is what I call a classic guilt reaction. You strayed, you're a cheating dawg like many of us here and you're carrying a load of guilt and shame about it now. Give it up, you did what you did, let it go and get on with your life. There is no need for any testing other than if you're going to make yourself nutz over this. If that is so, get tested and collect the inevitable negative result.

I keep playing the "what-if" game, and thats what is getting me I think. i.e.,the sex was very rough, but I need to remind myself that when we were done, even the the condom was practically hanging off an inch or so, it was still on which is what counts,right?

Andy, you are right, the guilt of this situation has really made me feel lousy to do such a low thing. Atleast I learned something out of this.

Are you having unprotected intercourse with your girlfriend? If so, I hope you are securely monogamous and have tested TOGETHER before the condoms came off.

You cannot assume to know anyone's hiv status. A person doesn't have to be promiscuous or involved in drugs to end up hiv positive.

You did NOT have a risk when you had sex with a condom, regardless of the presence of blood or the fact that the condom slipped down a bit. The head of your penis was covered and so you were covered where hiv is concerned.

However, if you've been having unprotected intercourse with ANYONE, not just someone you percieve to be promiscuous, then you have had a risk and should test at three months past your last unprotected incident, regardless of who it was with (unless it's your gf and you've met the requirements I've already mentioned). Please go back and re-read my first response to you.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I've posted here before but it has been a while since putting myself in a position of worry. I did it again a couple of days ago. Here is my concern-met with what I found out to be a very promiscuous tranny (has her computer on the bed with webcam pointed at bed First her place was pretty nasty which concerned me, but for some reason I continued.....then received unprotected oral (very spitty i must add) until finishing. I've read on the body that this is considered low risk, and here that it is no risk. I understand that there have been no documented cases atleast isolated to receiving oral, but I am still over anxious over this episode. I will do what I always do, beat myself up until the 6 week point where I will test for peace of mind, and feel much better. Are my fears unwarranted? I guess a lot probally has to do with guilt over the experience since this is not me to do these things but rather the wrong head doing the thinking. Know this is ridiculous but I also sat bare butt on her bad where I noticed stains, is this a concern? aslo watched her masturbate with lots of lube that splatted on my, but this doesn't concern me nearly like the oral ...To any who respond, thank you so much.

Please keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" thread which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

I merged your threads. It doesn't matter how long it's been since you were here last or if you're asking about something different, we need you to stay in one thread. Thank you for your cooperation.

As you have already learned through your reading of this forum, getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Sitting on spotty sheets is also not a risk for hiv infection and neither is being splattered with lube. Hiv is not transmitted outside the body in those types of situations. You're worrying over nothing.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

ann, So your thoughts are to put this one behind me? (regardless of any extenuating circumstances that may have taken place, ex. high viral load if infected, blood in mouth during the bj,etc.)?Testing isn't warranted in your opinion (i think the answer would be no since you say this is no risk for hiv).thank you again for your help

No testing is necessary. You had a lot to say of a judgemental nature about the person you were with. It's too bad that's how you see or evaluate someone with whom you choose to have sex.

But all of that aside, the important thing is that you did not have unprotected vaginal/anal intercourse. Those are the only two confirmed means of sexually transmitting HIV. As long as you consistently use condoms for those activities you will be well protected.

Other STDs are easier to acquire so if you are sexually active it's a good idea to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least once a year and more often if you actually have any troubling symptoms.

so no one has contracted the virus by receiving a bj to date? I'm sure that many have tested after definite exposure so this must say alot. Do you feel that any factors like high viral load if infected, traces of blood in saliva,on and on would effect the need for testing after single event?

i am sorry to beat a dead horse, but something came up that has made my fears worse. I asked the person if he always had protected sex and ofcoarse told me yes. Yesterday i see photos of this person having unprotected anal. This raised a major ?I have been very worried today that for some reason this bj may be different and am consumed with fear. Are you confident saying that I have nothing to worry about as far as hiv from this oral episode? this person does not look like they have the best oral health the more i am thinkgin.

Then stop it, ok? You're not so special that you're going to be the first to become infected from a blowjob. You got your dick sucked, now get over it.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, [If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result orno-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I will not continue posting like a lune. i just have a question concerning the opinions of other reputable sites such as dr. bob at the body. His opinion on oral is that it is very low risk, and you guys here stick to the no risk policy. i gather that he is being rather conservative. i feel that a test at the 6 week point would help ease my mind, since i still keep worrying about this insertive episode. would you consider a neg. 6 week result pretty assuring (I'm pretty sure yuo will since you've all said this is a non-risk encounter). ?I thank you again for everything you do here

You didn't have a risk. I don't read that other website, but I would imagine that Dr Bob is talking about GIVING blowjobs, not getting them. Being blown is absolutely, positively NO RISK for hiv infection.

You didn't have a risk. It won't matter when you test - as long as it is three months or more since your last incident of UNPROTECTED anal or vaginal INTERCOURSE, it will be conclusive.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hi, I was able to put this BJ behind me, but have another concern while being tested that i could use your opinions on. While being tested by a positive counselor at the 40 day mark (for peace of mind), while talking some of her spit flew onto a pretty fresh cut i had on hand, and scared the you know what outta me. Should i worry over this?

You've been coming here long enough to know that HIV is not transmitted through saliva or in any airborne matter. Have you bothered to read our lesson on transmission before going into another fear attach? There's a link to that lesson in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

So in case I haven't already made it clear, there was absolutely no risk for HIV transmission in your latest incident of concern.

andy, i did read the lesson and do feel much better. would you feel confident in saying that my GF's flu-like symptoms lately are in no way related to hiv? we did have unprotected intercourse and the last month she has been having terrible headaches, extreme fatigue, and horrible stomach cramping. this only brought my fears back to light.

Your gf's symptoms are something she should be discussing with her doctor.

You say you have unprotected intercourse with her. It's not clear if you consider yourself to be a securely monogamous relationship and that includes both having reliably tested negative together. Those are the only circumstances under which you can safely give up using condoms for intercourse.

If your current concerns are still based on lingering fears about your having gotten oral sex elsewhere, then you are worrying needlessly. There was no risk for HIV in that incident as you have been told repeatedly. We're not going to get into another worry cycle with you about that one or you will very quickly find yourself getting another Time Out.

i recently learned that i have contracted herpes, which must have happened from receiving oral from last episode. any chance that i would have also contracted hiv during this oral? tested at 40 days, neg.

I've just re-read your entire thread and I'm left wondering if you have ever read a single thing we're taken our time to write to you.

Now listen up.

GETTING A BLOWJOB IS NOT A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION!!!

Did you get it that time?

Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact. Hiv is not.

You keep going out and scaring yourself with bits on the side and then go home to your girlfriend and have unprotected intercourse with her. Does she know what you're up to behind her back? I have to wonder if you've passed on your herpes to her. Poor woman.

Keep coming back with more blowjob concerns and you'll be given a second time out.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Greetings. I had another lapse in judgement and met with a rather promiscuous person. I received oral for a few minutes, that was very "aggressive". You all have repeatetly stated that this carries NO HIV risks, but others say that it is low and theoretically possible. I had accepted the no risks part, until 2 days afterwards I got a bad sore throat and fatigued. Any relation here, or can I put this behind me?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts