Put down your comically oversized bags with $$$ scrawled on the side, slip off your burglarin' shoes and drop the crowbar: the trillion-dollar coin is no more, and with it, your dreams of one last big heist just to see if the team still has some of the old magic. From the Washington Post:

It's not every day you get an email from a former director of the U.S. Mint (unless…
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The Treasury Department will not mint a trillion-dollar platinum coin to get around the debt ceiling. If they did, the Federal Reserve would not accept it.

That's the bottom line of the statement that Anthony Coley, a spokesman for the Treasury Department, gave me today. "Neither the Treasury Department nor the Federal Reserve believes that the law can or should be used to facilitate the production of platinum coins for the purpose of avoiding an increase in the debt limit," he said.

The Treasury also announced it will not mint a trillion $1 platinum coins, nor build a "fiscal trampoline," nor create a trillion-dollar bill, nor "stop spending money you don't have, just like my parents taught me when I was a kid," nor write itself a comically oversized check, nor commission a 40-foot-tall silver statue of Ronald Reagan imbued with the power to cut federal budgets, nor return to the William Jennings Bryan standard, nor declare all pennies quarters and all quarters pennies, nor admit to circulating a three-dollar bill that only men can see.