DID YOU READ

MVP’s of the Dance Floor

This weekend I DJ’d a wedding for two good friends (that’s right, representin’ both the bride and the groom), and after some deliberation, named Mike, Ian, and Alec (cousins of the bride) MVP’s of the Dance Floor.

John introduced the “balloon” dance, a move in which he inflated an imaginary balloon and passed it around the dance floor, Ian’s power moves were insane, including a slide across the parquet that left a hole in his black dress slacks, and Alec acted as both hypeman and wingman for his brother Ian and cousin John.

(above: John, Ian, and Alec, party starters extraordinaire!)

Though I’m a few weddings and high-profile-after-parties away from considering myself in the same league as Mark Ronson, I felt adequately good about my performance–I played most of the bride and groom’s requests, stayed far away from the hokey-pokey, and managed to sneak in a couple under-the-radar goodies (which, by the way, the bride and groom gave me freedom to play–just so you know):

Most Indie I Got All NightVampire Weekend, “A-Punk”
It didn’t get the “pop” I wanted, BUT–it also didn’t clear the dance floor. “A-Punk” is a couple weddings shy of being in the same league as “Whoomp! There It Is.”

Most Indie I Got All Night With Best Crowd ParticipationFranz Ferdinand, “Take Me Out”
Even if you don’t know the song, that break down at the beginning will get you every time.

Biggest Crowd ReactionThe Isley Brothers, “Shout”
I got away without playing “The Macarena” or “The Electric Slide” (thank goodness), but I had to include this one–it’s one of those classic songs that gets everyone out on the dance floor. To add a little twist, I did a back-and-forth medley between a disco remix of the Beastie Boys’ “Intergalactic.” The stop-down before Adrock’s “D-r-r-rop” gives you plenty of options to tinker around.

Request of the Night
It’s not so much the request, but how it was requested. During dessert, a young kid came up to me, almost looking a little agitated and asked, “When are you going to play ‘Love Shack?'”

Testing the Waters
While the dance tent was empty I played Hot Chip’s “Shake a Fist.” I really wanted to play it during peak reception hours, but I was afraid some attendees wouldn’t vibe with it. After I played the song, a caterer came up to me and asked, “Who is this? They’re good!” Even though Hot Chip didn’t get played during regulation, at least they have a new fan now.

Choreographed Dance Performance of the Night“Rip it Up,” Little Richard
The bride and groom followed their first slow dance by showing off some newly acquired swing moves. Come to think of it, maybe I should have given them MVP’s of the Dance Floor.

The Best Of The Last

The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Your Portlandia Personality Test

Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.

Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…