An inebriated gentleman in Russia thought it was a good idea to steal an armored vehicle from a paramilitary driving school. While taking it for a spin – crushing a parked car along the way – the chap found he couldn’t turn the daggum thing around on a narrow street, so he rammed it into a family-owned convenience store instead. He then climbed out of the vehicle and made his way through the broken window to steal a bottle of wine. The man, in his late twenties, was arrested.