Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Cold Play

You know what, Bitches? I don't care how impossibly rich/beautiful/educated/married to a rock star/popped out a couple a' kids with no visible impact to your bod/celebrifried you are.

You STILL shouldn't wear your clothing two sizes too small:

Here's how the dress, designed by Miss Vicky "oy!" Beckham, should drape. Cute, no? Sophisticated, too.

But worn the other way makes Gwyneth look like some kind of weird amalgamation of space alien street hooker and the paper sack holding her can of Colt 45.

Alas, Gwyn first started hiking her skirts and tightening her bodices a full two years ago:

And she seems determined to clutch that trend to her bosom with an ever tightening grip. Hon, we know. You have epic gams. But give it a rest, will ya? And for goodness sake, get yourself to a colorist for some highlights.

She and Blake Lively are competing for shortish dresses... thing is, Blake Lively is YOUNG and Gwennie? Well, the mother of two should consider adding a few inches/yards to her clothes. I think it all started when she started working out with those dang bands that Madonna loves so much, which led her to "create" GOOP (don't get me started) and then apparently, her clothes began to shrink. Weird.

i do not like this woman. the things she says in foreign press makes me scream:

“I like living here because I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans"

really? well, heres a goopy TIP on civilization you slag...dissing an entire nation that buys tickets to your totally frivolous movies isnt smart and it isnt GRACIOUS. thinking it is one thing, saying it out loud is wrong. who the F died and made you the queen of deciding which nations are and are not civilized. go suck on an englishmans plaque encrusted mouth, BEEEEOTCH!!!!