Jeez, there are so many of these movies….you know the ones: I’ve never heard of this film, but look at the cast? Can’t be too bad, right? Right? Uh, right!

Lotta names, but the performances will not be on any of their “best roles” list. Here’s the cast, listed in order of ‘worth’ (best to worst performance).

Julie Delpy – clearly the best of the lot

Sarah Michelle Gellar – surprisingly, the best of the rest

Kevin Bacon – More Bacon being Bacon

Brendan Fraser – The Horse Whisperer

Andy Garcia – The Horse Screamer

Forest Whitaker – If he ain’t being Idi Amin he’s being Caspar the Milquetoast (without a saxophone)

This one is deep. Makes you feel stupid for not riding that existential wave. No. Makes you feel stoopid for wasting your time. Ah….I’m being too hard on it. Pretentious, to be sure, and chock full of outrageous coincidences. I’m not against crazy coincidences in film, but they have to make you forget just how impossible they are. Thus one doesn’t even try. It actually seems to revel in its own outlandishness. Oh well….