Bernice Three Column

Friday, March 1, 2013

Silly Saturday for March 2, 2013

Q. How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?
A. By reaching into the cage.

Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
A: They never cry over split milk!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!

A cat died and went to heaven. God said: "You've been a good cat all your life - a devoted pet. Is there anything you wish?"

The cat replied: "I lived on a farm and always had to sleep on a hard floor so a soft pillow would be great. Then I could sleep peacefully in heaven."

God provided a soft pillow for the cat.

The following day six mice died and went to heaven. God told them: "You have been good mice all your lives. Is there anything you wish?"

"Yes," they said. "We always had to run everywhere, being chased by cats or people. We'd love a pair of roller skates each so that we can get around heaven without having to use our little legs as much."

So God provided each mouse with a pair of roller skates.

A week later, God thought he'd check up on the cat who was fast asleep on his new pillow.

"Is everything OK?" asked God.

The cat stretched out. "Perfect," he said. "I've never been happier. The pillow is so comfortable and those meals on wheels you've been sending over are simply the best!"

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