Love Letter To Myself - by Alex-san
Note: An original Sailormoon fanfiction story. All disclaimers apply. Sailormoon belongs to
Naoko Takeuchi. This story is rated PG for language and themes. All comments, good or bad,
are greatly appreciated. Please send them to xmainpimpx@aol.com.
***
I can't believe I've never written a letter to you, and now my first letter will also be my last.
I want to tell you some things from the hidden in the bottom of my heart, things in which I have
never had a chance to tell you.
I remember when I was still a silly teenager when I met you at the temple.
It was always rather boring working at the temple with my grandfather and having just about no
one else around.
But however boring it was, I thank the gods, for that is where I met you.
You are the only man I shall never forget.
From since I was a child I've enrolled in all-girls schools. Save grandpa, I never had much
contact with the opposite sex. Out of the small amount of males I knew, you were the most
special one of all.
I remember one incident involving you quiet vividly. I was walking back to the temple by myself
after going out with some friends. I was very tired that day. And suddenly, a voice came up
from behind me as I stood waiting at a bus station alone.
"Hey, sexy!" I lifted my head up to find a who the voice belonged to: a punk teenage boy with
bleach blond hair and a cigarette in his mouth.
I decided I was safest not to speak. However, the boy begin to look at me at lust and begin
muttering profanities to me, then, his right hand begin wandering around near my rear. I was so
scared that I could no longer speak or yell out for help, and besides, there was no one else
around.
But before the boy came into any physical contact with me, you planted yourself between you
and him. The punk immediately backed off and began to apologize; but you wouldn't let him
leave. You insist on hurting him in some manner.
"You are not going to get away with touching her!"
"I didn't touch her, I swear! Please, I'll never go near her again! Just don't hurt me!"
But you didn't want to listen. Your instinct at the moment was to protect me.
"It's all right." I interjected. "He didn't touch me. Let him go."
"But......"
"Please."
You stared back at me blankly. I knew you didn't want to let him go, but since I insisted on it,
you wouldn't ever do otherwise.
"Get the hell out of here!"
"Thank you, Miss! I'll never bother you again!!" And with that the teenager ran off.
And after that, we both walked to the temple together wordlessly. I couldn't even bring myself
up to thank you until after we arrived at the temple.
"You must be careful. A beautiful girl like yourself shouldn't wander around alone. You should
also put on an extra layer of clothing to cover yourself some more. Better safe than sorry." And
with that I smiled. And you smiled back.
That must have been the first time I actually noticed your smile. And that same day after, you
offer me to come to your place. How could I possibly refuse?
I thought you were the quiet, shy type; that was until we really started to talk. You weren't
afraid to express yourself at all. You talked about all the different places besides Japan that
you've been to: Europe, different areas of Asia, North and South America, and many other
places you've seen. You told me about the people, culture and other interesting things.
That night I stayed at your place and we talked all night. And by the morning on my way to
school, we were both so tired we feel asleep on the bus. And as I begin to fall asleep, I leaned
on top of your shoulder. And to this very day, I still remember that wonderful feeling of being
close to you.
That day I told my grandpa my first lie; I told him I stayed with some classmates for a study
session.
I feel a bit guilty for doing it, but it didn't matter anymore. I lied for you, and I knew from that
moment on I would do anything for you.
From that day on, we both knew in our hearts we had countless things to say to one another.
Everyday at the temple you would come by and talk to me. Looking back now, I realized it was
that period in my life where I was the happiest.
You know something? I wished that part of my life would never end.
And the summer, we knew we were going to go back to school soon. So I became quiet and
less expressive of myself. You asked me many times if I was okay, or if I was ill. In actuality, I
was simply afraid after your summer job at the temple ends, we won't have an excuse to see
each other everyday anymore.
I was afraid I would never hear your voice again.
Do you remember our first kiss?
That night you worked at the temple late, around two in the morning, when you were about to
leave, in between a casual conversation, you kissed me. But after the kiss, I cried. And when
you asked me why, I told you the truth: I am afraid we'll have a lot of difficulty meeting one
another again.
Your reply was even more painful to me: I am going to a faraway place soon. The ending of this
story is also the beginning of another story.
I was angry at you that moment, because I feel I've been betrayed.
You walked away wordlessly from the temple as I sat in my bed crying that night. You didn't
even apologize. I feel even more naive for ever thinking that you loved me.
After school started, you never came to visit me anymore.
And it was only today I found out what you meant by your last words to me.
Yesterday afternoon after school, Grandpa stopped me as I returned home. He told me you
have left us.
At first I didn't understand what he meant, since you loved traveling so much, I simply thought
you moved to another place.
But Grandpa told me I was mistaken. The night after our kiss, Grandpa told me you collapsed
on a street corner. A good Samaritan took you to the hospital and it was reported that you had
a chronic heart problem that we never knew about before. You didn't die that day but lasted up
until yesterday, when you finally left us.
I don't wish we could meet in our dreams, because if that was so, I would never be able to
wake up.
I don't even know where I am going to mail this letter, I don't even know if you'll see this letter.
Is this letter for myself, rather than you?
All I know is, if it was possible, I wish I never left you that night.
Rei Hino
P.S. I Love You, Yuuichiru.