Surgery

Yippee Ki Yi Ay.
I’m on my way.
Back in the saddle again…

…not exactly. This time I’m back in the stirrups again. This will be my seventh downstairs-region-surgery and I feel like I’m becoming an expert at donning the theatre garb. I’d prefer to be donning the actual-theatre-garb. Reckon the other patients in here would too. We’re lined up in recliner chairs, hairnets and compression knee highs on, politely smiling at the surgeon and anaesthetists who call on us, trying not to think about the fact that very soon, our hoohas will be seen by those very same people.

I don’t like it.

I have set my jaw in resolute forebearance. My exterior is calm and quiet. Only my blood pressure gives anyone any clue that it upsets me to be back here again. The nurse hums and hahs and goes off to let them know. She’s worried about stroke risk. I’m not, I know it is just a reasonable physiological response to gynae surgery. If you think about it, it’s absolutely ridiculous. I have to suspend my mind, somehow, and not think about the fact that there will be knives in my lady bits, while I am unconscious! Of course my blood pressure is high, that is an alarming thing!!!!

So, off I go. Pretending to be brave again and feeling like a scared kid.(be gentle with me kind surgeon)

I look forward to being on the other side of it.
How do you cope with pre-op nerves?

UPDATE: They were so lovely and gave me lots of nice medicines to make it all okay. I’m out and delightfully ‘lala-land-y’. Resting in bed for a bit now and no lifting for a good long time. Shame I couldn’t get them to instruct that there should be no cooking, child ferrying, washing or otherwise domestic delights for the next six months! Ha. Just thought I’d let you know that it all went really well, the surgeon found two more unhealed incisions to repair from the last surgery, so it is good that I agreed to get it done. Should be good as new now! 😉 Happy days. I’m off for a snooze.

11 thoughts on “Surgery”

Oh Rach, I can relate so much! I too sit there with my jaw set, and a quiet, calm exterior, because it’s not my first rodeo.

But all the while, my fingers rub small circles on my gown, as my insides twist and knot and my blood pressure rises. Because experience is not always a blessing. The fear of the unknown has been replaced by a knowledge of all the things that have gone wrong before. I now know about pain, and about doctors and nurses who won’t listen (or are even abusive). I now know about long recoveries, and sleepless nights, and missing out on events, and tears, and that dark hole that’s easy to slip into while all of that is going on. I know about the disappointment of going through all of that, only to find out that the surgery didn’t help, or has to be redone.

So of course your blood pressure is high. You’ve put your big girl panties on (figuratively, since they don’t usually let you wear undies for gynae ops), and shown up because you’re an adult, and you know that this op needs to be done. But that doesn’t make it any less scary.

Holding your hand <3
xx S.

P.S. Since I'm a Christian, I cope by reminding myself that God is in control, and that I trust Him. I run over Bible passages that I've memorised, and focus on them.

But it doesn't have to be Bible passages. Sometimes I'll even do times tables in my head! (School-age me never thought I'd be doing that as an adult!) Anything to keep my mind focused and busy, instead of allowing it to fill up with fear. xox

Oh sweetie, having spent a lot of my life on the other side being dressed in scrubs I inderstand your nerves. It’s worth mentioning to someone that you’re feeling a bit wobbly and then they can be gorgeous and reassure you. Anaesthetists as much as they can be grumpy buggers can also be very reassuring if you mention that, also theatre staff can be amazingly lovely. Please tell them about the wobbles. I’ll be thinking of you x

Oh my goodness, I totally understand nether region surgery and how tiresome it is, and stressful too. I am very glad to read the update and to know that you are on the mend. I hope you move from strength to strength and that everyone around you rallies to help support you (I know they will). Sending you as much good juju as I can muster. Much love xx