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December 11, 2009

The Fanboy and the Hitman

Any ambivalence I had about the Franco and Jason scenes of Thursday's episode went quickly out the window today, because the entirety of their time together had me giggling with delight. Delight that rivaled the look of delight on Franco's face whenever he looked at Jason!

Franco, offering Jason snacks: Chips and dip, M&Ms...only have the red ones, though. The other colors taste different. Have you ever noticed that?

(He REPEATEDLY offered Jason chips and dip throughout the episode and pointed out that the dip was spinach and artichoke, as if that would sweeten the pot!)

Franco: Conviction set aside for the murder of Luis Alcazar. Acquitted in the trial of his brother Lorenzo. What is it with you and this family?...and you shot up a church. Ever worry about eternal damnation there, Jase?

Franco: I would have thought that you'd see it instantly.Jason: See what?Franco: Us. We're the same.

Franco: Let's review: we're both obsessed with death, but today, who isn't? We're both obsessed with death. And we're both artistes.

Franco: Like I said, soulmates! You don't give a second thought to those you kill. You're not eaten up with regret, guilt. You murder, and then you leave the emotional baggage for someone else. THAT is art.

Jason: Is that what you do? Do you kill people? How many?Franco: Gosh, who keeps count these days? Do you actually put notches somewhere?

Franco: I've killed dozens of times, in many different ways ::breaks into a demented, blissful smile:: All in my imagination!

Jason: About Claudia Corinthos--Franco: 1,023 [seconds. He counted the seconds! DIES AND IS DEAD--Ed.]! That seemed like that took forever, didn't it? From now on, I'm not counting on you to pick up the conversation.

Franco: I swear, I almost started crying, for joy.

Franco: Unless you left [Joey Limbo] for me? So we could work together? Thank you...thank you so much. Now tell me we weren't separated at birth!

Franco: You and your girlfriend slamming into that cabin like Starsky and Hutch...

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

It's like the show finally said, "You know what? I am an absurd, terrible, murder-fetishizing show with an unhealthy love of a morally corrupt killer. Why not just go all out?" And then it did. And I enjoyed every minute of it.

The fact that I am now on the record as unreservedly praising General Hospital is shameful enough (although I hope to retain a small amount of street cred since I do recognize that some of the greatness of this Franco story is of the "so bad its..." variety), but how am I supposed to cope with the fact that I am unreservedly praising Bob Guza's words? He wrote all the Franco story, dialogue and all...dialogue that literally made me laugh out loud and clap my hands like a demented seal.

Damn it! You've won this round, Guza.

(Although the Franco half of the dialogue wasn't too much of a writerly stretch for him, was it? It's not like he needed to search for inspiration for how to write a Jason-obsessed maniac)

(Also, the fact that he knows that Michael killed Claudia confirms that he will be murdered by Jason. We all assumed that, but now it's a certainty)

The parts of the show not dealing with the epic Jason/Franco romance varied from very good to very bad to "Write about it? I'm going to pretend I never saw it."

If Franco didn't exist, Diane would have been my favorite part of today's episode, on her way out the door after trying to explain to Sonny that (A) he doesn't get to decide when the cops close a case and (B) dry-humping a new girlfriend while his wife is still considered "missing" isn't the best of ideas.

Diane: Stop acting like a hormonal teenager. No wonder there is such a surplus of Corinthos progeny!

Ha!

Ugh, speaking of Sonny being a hormonal teenager: are we supposed to swoon at the elaborate setup he planned to get Olivia into a hotel room with a romantic meal all set up? Because I have to tell you, luring a woman to an empty room under false pretenses and jumping out of the shadows doesn't come across as "romantic hero" so much as it does "horror movie villain".

Spinelli overheard Maxie and Sam discussing the former's rendezvous with Franco (the one that she claims she was powerless to, because he was as mesmerizing as a cult leader, or something) and I prepared myself for angst and wounded looks and horribleness.

But Bradford Anderson gave a tremendous performance. And that's not me being a bitch, although that's an easy assumption to make since this performance actually had no words. I mean it, though! He was silent, but he conveyed a whole world of hurt without speaking and I think it was really effective. And that's coming from someone who has no emotion at all invested in this pairing. Kudos, to BA.

How much did I love Dante and Lucky? SO much. I loved Lucky figuring Dante's deal out, I loved their banter, I loved how they teased Lulu and I love that two cops were allowed to be all smart and charming.

Dare I hope that this signals the dawn of a new era? This IS GH, so, um, I probably shouldn't, since I'll only wind up disappointed.

I have no idea what the hell is going on with Rebecca taunting Nikolas and wanting Lucky, and I don't particularly care (sad, isn't it, that my fondness for Rebecca lasted all of one hour? Boo!) but it led to Liz's hilarious

Elizabeth: Is that bitch insane?

The answer is yes, and also I know she is, but what are you?

Because REALLY, Liz, what are you thinking? You know Steven wanted to ask her exactly that when she confessed to him that she's engaged to Lucky but sexing Nik. But he didn't get the chance to ask her, because there was absolutely no follow up to that scene at all! NONE! The least the show could have done was not have Steven leave, off-screen, but just had Elizabeth explain to Nikolas when he showed up, "My brother is here, passed out. He lost consciousness due to the horror of hearing about the thing we've got going on". It would be follow up AND a rational reaction to hearing that news!

Comments

Franco blah blah blah. That's exactly how I feel about him. I am not impressed and isn't this just story number 384938493 of a person obsessed with Jason. Personally I found Manny a heck of a lot more interesting.

And praise the lord for people FINALLY realizing the problem with the ladies like Rebecca, Nadine and I am sure there are more ain't the ladies but the lackluster poorly acted character of Nikolas portrayed by a boring repetitive actor by the name of Tyler Christopher. I haven't seen so much sleepwalking, eyerolling, "understated" acting since I watched the zombies in Night of the Living Dead and even the Zombies were more interesting. When I see how interesting Rebecca could have been had she been working with someone you know who actually acts interested and engaging on screen, it's mind boggling. The character is at the lowest point as far as appeal and the actor, well, maybe someone can throw a bucket of ice cold water on him before scenes to wake him up or at least prescribe him some nodoze.

I can't add anything to the TC critiques except a big, fat WORD. He both sucks AND blows, and yet it's his female counterparts (who are actually TRYING) that get shitcanned. I'd love to him get thrown off this show on his doughy ass.

And SummerJay and Beth, I'm a NL fan from almost the beginning, and I love to see others spreading the love too! :)

Shirleedee, I think that Franco's drink is supposed to be Absinthe. It's banned in the US because of its really high alcohol content, but it's pretty big in Europe and has been around for years. Hope that helps!

To all here TC is an absolute joke. Oh and he's supposed to be good today professing his love for Liz with the gratuitous JJ one tear running down his face. GMAFB. He still sucks and the fact that he can bring it on at times tells me honestly what a pile of crap he actually is. He's actually worse than Mo and Steve I think.

And I agree with whoever said I hope Mr. "It's just business" is congraduating himself on collectively with the writers getting his acting partner of so many years fired and I hope he also congradulates himself on contributing to getting the actress who played Nadine fired also. As far as I am concerned, both those actresses should be on GH and his lame ass should be collecting unemployment.

I have to wonder when GH turned into this awesome show. Perhaps it's because I don't find James Franco at all interesting and I guess I should be ashamed for not going all gaga over a movie star.

What I do like is Lucky and Dante together. Now of this show would actually team them up as partners and actually let them solve some crimes in PC I might actually enjoy them.

And I watched today. I have no idea who is saying Nikolas/TC was great. He was average which is an improvement over the way he usually is which is boring and tedious. I hope the bloggers do a post on him or devote part of a post to the character of Nikolas. I don't get why the actor still is employed. OF course I could say that about a lot of the actors on this show. IR is another one.

I have to wonder when GH turned into this awesome show. Perhaps it's because I don't find James Franco at all interesting and I guess I should be ashamed for not going all gaga over a movie star.

What I do like is Lucky and Dante together. Now of this show would actually team them up as partners and actually let them solve some crimes in PC I might actually enjoy them.

And I watched today. I have no idea who is saying Nikolas/TC was great. He was average which is an improvement over the way he usually is which is boring and tedious. I hope the bloggers do a post on him or devote part of a post to the character of Nikolas. I don't get why the actor still is employed. OF course I could say that about a lot of the actors on this show. IR is another one.

I apologize for having a personal opinion, guys! I am not saying that anybody needs to enjoy the Franco storyline or anything else on this show (and I warned you months ago that I am powerless to James Franco! It was only a matter of time before I went crazy praising his story)--feel free to love, hate, love to hate or "hate, like, really HATE" whatever you want and disagree with me all you want. It's fine! Just be polite about it.

Sorry Mallory. Perhaps it's because I've never been a Franco fan that I kind of laugh at it. And Maybe I am supposed to laugh at it or with it. I will say he does have charisma on screen and is pretty . I'm just tired of yet another storyline with some madman fascinated with Jason. The only diff to me with this one is Franco is a known star so he gets more airtime than the likes of Manny, Faith, Lorenzo, and the rest.

I think Guza needs to give up his pay cable subscription channels...sounds like GH has gone from Sopranos to a Sopranos/Dexter mix....wow. That was painful to type.
2 good shows, now half-assedly butchered by Guza in the form of a daytime soap. Proof that 2 wrongs do NOT make a right.

Mal. Do not apologize and feel the need to defend yourself. Your posts ALWAYS make me burst out laughing at work (not good..thanks alot!). Whether I agree or not with your take on things, your posts always prep me for the good, the bad, and the often ugly, that is GH. Keep up the good work ladies.