Week @ Acme 5/25

There are things that certain southerners don’t want to order in a restaurant. OK, don’t want to order out loud in a restaurant. Too risky. People would talk and point fingers. Being southern is cool. Being too southern scares people.

But, of course, there’s a whole other group that have no problem declaring their wishes – to the dismay of their spouse. It usually can go something like this:

“Can you put some Bac-Os on that salad?”

“Honey, they don’t have Bac-Os. This is a nice restaurant.”

“Then just throw some of those potato sticks on it.”

This conversation is not going to end well. Eventually, Lite Chipotle Ranch is requested and something like “Lord, don’t y’all have a refrigerator back there?” sort of brings the ordering to a close.

Which brings us to dip – as in nacho cheese. Not exactly a word people want to say out loud. Even though they’re thinking it’s probably delicious. My father’s idea of a perfect moment involved Charles Chips, French onion dip, and a martini. But he’d never order it in a restaurant. Never. That would be embarrassing.

So, that leaves us in the restaurant trade scrambling for words. “Spread” is popular. But it has its own baggage. And there’s an array of foreign words that provide appropriate cover. “Paté” sounds restaurant-worthy. Because “liver dip?” Yikes.

But sometimes you’ve got to make a stand. Damn the consequences. And smoked mackerel dip may be our Waterloo. But calling it “rillette du poisson fumé” would be, well, a lie. Because it’s a dip, dammit. And it’s delicious. So, if you’re not going to the beach this weekend, let a bit of the beach come to you. Wear flip-flops for the full effect. And call it whatever you want. We’ll know what you mean.

Well, that’s all the news from Carrboro. The staff at Acme look forward to serving you soon.