The news of Will and Kate's impending arrival has the tabloids in a tizzy -- and scrambling for anyone, anyone at all to be quoted about it. I've compiled a sampling of the best of these random, mostly anonymous sources, all of whom state how Kate and Will will be good parents (as if anyone is going to say that she's going to become a baby-smacking alcoholic and he's planning on raising the baby as a racist). The best of the bunch, with an added bonus of Snooki (say what?) commentary:

"Kate will be a firm but fair mother. Kate will let her children have fun and freedom, but she will also make sure they do what is best for them." A "pal" of the Duchess of Cambridge, per Us Weekly

"I can see William wanting to take time off in the modern paternity-leave style, so that he bonds with his child." A "family friend" to www.dailymail.co.uk

"[Kate and Will] both try to be as normal as possible in their private lives. ... Everyone's always said what great parents they'll be, since they are such a caring couple and very relaxed. They will lavish love on their children." Jessica Hay, a "childhood acquaintance" of Kate's, to Australian tabloid New Idea

"This couple want to raise their baby just like us." Jane Ridley and Dana Schuster