This is a story about an Australian man who wanted a yin & yang tattoo but went home with a wiener on his back instead. Plus a bruise after being punched by the "artist". Wow. I know where I'm going for my next tat!

Detective Constable Paul Malcolm said a 25-year-old man had gone to the alleged offender's house and "somehow in the course of the conversation the subject of tattoos came up".

"The victim wasn't interested at first but he was talked into it and he said he wanted a yin and yang symbol with some dragons," Malcolm said, according to Ipswich's Queensland Times.

"The bloke started doing the tattoo and there was another bloke standing there watching saying, 'Mate, it's looking really good'."

The victim was then allegedly punched on his way out, before he could check the ink work, which reportedly also included a misspelled comment about his sexuality.

"When he got home he showed it to the person he lives with and she said: 'I don't think it's the tattoo you were after'," Malcolm said.

The 21-year old inkster is being charged with two counts of assault, one for the permanent wiener, and one for the punch. But I propose he also be charged for misspelling, bullying, and not being able to tastefully hide a peen in a yin & yang tattoo. I dunno, make the little circles the balls or something -- get creative!

Thanks to Oliver and Peter, who have never been tattooed at a person's house who convinced them to get something because they "need the practice". Good decision making, guys (I have a monkey lobbing a hand grenade at an armadillo on my buttcheeks).