Monologues for Men | "The Puppy Room" by Gabriel Davis

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Convicted murderers. Why don’t we lock them away ... with puppies? I can engineer a totally lifelike, indestructible super puppy.

Now, we take a room full of the puppies. We put the most hardened gang banger in there. At first they may try to kill the puppies. That’s why these puppies are indestructible. Soon, the murderer exhausted will begin to cry in despair “Why, why can’t I kill these puppies! Why!?” At that moment our super puppies close in, licking and nuzzling and staring with their perfectly round adorable eyes. Their little puppy paws will target ticklish spots. The murderers will giggle.

Imagine it, someone who has grown up in a violent landscape filled with conflict and abuse. Instead of putting them into a locked environment filled with more of that, what if we said “Put him in the Puppy Room!”

At first they might say “No, please, no, no … not the Puppy Room!” Because what self respecting hardened man or woman wants to commune with puppies. Cuteness is the enemy of toughness. But faced with this unbearable cuteness their anger, their fear, their hate will be overwhelmed by love.

Yes, I have a dream of invincible super puppies. They will not just be cute and unkillable, a marvel of modern engineering, but they will lift humanity out of the darkness.