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I was asked by one of my coworkers to try and make the large selection of Israeli posters featured in our Sunday auction a bit more “fun.” Given that my commentary tends to dip into the inappropriate and oftentimes borders on the bizarre, talking about an Israeli poster is risky–sort of like discussing politics and religion over canapes. Poor taste, just poor taste (at least that’s what Mother claims).

That said, I am not one to back down from a challenge. And so I present Unto Thee (as my Fertile Crescent Forefathers would say) an Israeli poster of my choosing:

Welcome to the Tel-Aviv Zoo. Like that scene in Jurassic Park where they first see the Brontosaurus, a massive Photoshopped Rhino lunges off the page towards us with Spielberg-worthy grace and intent. Oh, the magic of the animal kingdom–so big, so graceful, so…..deadly.

As Sam Neill and the rest of the JP cast ultimately found out, the giants are not so gentle…and I think that the little girl in this poster is mighty aware of it. That frown implies volumes, from the rancid smell of Rhino-poop in Middle Eastern heat to the fact that her smiling companion probably plans on tossing her to her death by way of Rhino impalement. Forget terrorists, its the disgruntled boyfriends you really have to worry about! I’m guessing it was a bad date, but maybe she’s just not that into him (oh, Drew Barrymore references!).

Now, as a total aside, I also present Unto Thee a point of confusion: if this is the Tel-Aviv Zoo, what’s up with the background? That flag is for the Convention Party of Ghana…and Ghana is a good 3 hour flight from Israel. Perhaps this was a travel poster? If so, frowning tweens is not really the best way to beguile tourists to come spend money in your country. That is, unless you wish to attract the clinically depressed, in which case, the Rhino is an aptly miserable-looking creature to get everyone on the Prozzak bandwagon.

Hopefully, all this has made you want to own this bit of confusion….or perhaps travel to Israel. Either way, you should definitely come and see it on display before Sunday, after which all our Israeli posters fly back to our Homeland. Shalom-style.

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No, this is not a screen-shot from a Mario Brothers game where a giant head comes out and eats the castle just before you save Princess Toadstool. I wish they made posters of that, but, sadly, none yet (emphasis there on the ‘yet’).

What this actually is is one of the niftiest posters in our entire auction (and a personal favorite on my end….but that’s the BA in Modern German art talking…er…typing).

For those out of the musical loop, every year in Salzburg, Austria there is a pretty famous music festival. This has been going on since 1877, minus a brief sabbatical c. WWI. After the war, it made its big comeback, championed by the epic Hugo von Hofmannsthal, Richard Strauss (yes, that Strauss), Alfred Roller, Franz Schalk, and the incomparable Max Reinhardt. This poster is a byproduct of that golden time for the festival.

What makes it important is that it’s still used today as the symbol of the Salzburg Festival. Seriously, Google their webpage, you’ll see it. It’s their icon. You’ve got the Salzburg flag on the left, the Hohensalzburg Fortress up front, and the theatrical comedy mask on the right.

Now, the less-known, but far more interesting aspect of this poster is that it’s made by one of the original students of the Bauhaus, Leopoldine Wojtek. And yes, for those who can’t figure it out, Leopoldine is a girl. Yes, a girl. In an era where female artists were forced to work in the ceramic or textile divisions, ‘Poldi here actually created an iconic work of art that has outlived most of what her male contemporaries created. She’s a feminist hero!

So, in summary, why should you want to buy this:

1. Anything from the Bauhaus era in German art is the awesome. Not just awesome–The Awesome. The human race will never see cleaner, cooler, more fabulous design.

2. It’s got gold in it. I can’t capture it on camera, but that background is metallicalicious.

3. Giant head eating castle.

4. You get to be a feminist without appearing psychotic. Who needs a poster of Hillary over their bed when they’ve got this baby in the house. Ooooh yeah.

Like this:

“Ok, Merrill, when you go to jump the fence, let go of the reigns a bit, lean back, smile, and give me a big thumbs up!”

It’s a Christopher Reeve moment waiting to happen.

And I think poor Fido there is about to be trampled, too.

Meanwhile, Lucinda (yes, Lucinda…I have poetic license when naming anonymous girls in posters) is standing at a safe distance, waiting for the right moment to take a home-video of Merrill’s death. Yes, boys and girls, Lucinda is an early snuff-film director. History in the making.

That said, this is not the cover of an Agatha Christie novel (They Do It With Horses? The Body in the Pasture?). It’s an ad for the Pathe-Baby mini movie camera, an early 1920s product launched on the good housewives of Europe. It really wanted to be what the IPod is to us today; however, all things eventually are surpassed and technology has since brought us the cameraphone and the iFlip.

What cannot be made redundant, though, is this poster–available for a limited time only in our May 3rd auction. So, come get your mitts on this one before it’s too late!

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Miss Fourteen-Year-Old Brunette here has somehow managed to fall down on her way home.

Have no fear, though, Mr. Chivalrous Fellow is nearby, ready to help her back up and escort her the rest of the journey.

Oh, but his pinch-faced wife (or mother mayhaps?) seems not to approve, shaking her fist of female fury in his general direction. But why such animosity, such anger, dear woman? Surly nothing this small girl has done could be as distasteful as pinning that parrot to your head.

Ah wait, I see…..the flushed cheeks, the blank stare, the rather ragamuffin aesthetic this child seems to be channeling–oh and did I just get a whiff of whisky? She’s obviously had one too many. I should read the lower text more often. It would save me tons of interpretative trouble.

I see this poster as a precursor to those DARE programs in the 1990s–a traveling troupe of underpaid, under-talented actors roaming our nation’s schools to teach unsuspecting children about the dangers of alcohol. If only they had had the forethought of making t-shirts, they too would be sported by hipsters everywhere.

Now, of course, you want to know the cruel truth. I’m fairly certain that “one too many” in 1890s parlance sadly did not mean to imply that this little girl was trollied. Given that Fogg’s Ferry was a family-friend traveling show, I imagine she just got into some Pipi Longstocking-esque misadventures, accompanied by a bit of romance and a bit of scolding.

All that aside, this happens to be one of the least-expensive offerings in our May 3rd auction–an opportunity I feel too many of you out there are overlooking.

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Before I begin with my snarky commentary, let me tell you what’s actually going on in this poster:

Printed in the late 1920s, this image is supposed to represent how back during the turn of the century, many people doubted the possibility of safe, reliable air travel. Now, the ghosts of those skeptics, as the lower tagline reads, are watching their progeny rush to catch planes on a daily basis. Yay airtravel.

This, however, is the story I see in this poster:

1. Spirits from the Other Side will try to warn you not to get on that plane (or, at the very least, try to tell you that you’ve dropped a shoe). They will subsequently look dumbfounded when you ignore them.

2. The Tale of the Haunted Plane! You are about to embark on a perilous sky-bound journey where ghosts will terrorize you, William Shatner-style.

3. Only after you’re dead will you look back on this flight as a truly awful idea.

Now, if after all that, airplane history and/or well-dressed spooks tickle your fancy, this little darling of a poster can be yours in our May 3 Auction. With an estimate of $1,000-$1,200, it won’t cost you much to have endless hours of interpretive goodness either!

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In the left corner, we’ve got Jane Wittlebone, a fiery, red-headed lass from Merry Olde. Donning some rather brash scullery-style attire, complete with bonnet and char-woman boots, this buck-toothed, red-nosed filly isn’t gonna give up without a good ol’ British fight. Go Biscuits Anglais!

And in the right corner, we’ve got Mademoiselle Annabelle LeMonnier, a fine-featured lady from the Provencal region. This ebony-haired beauty, decked out in lavender silk and black lace, is the underdog in this challenge, folks.

English biscuits have been the gold standard for decades–this is sure to be a landslide victory for Old Blimey.

And there’s the bell!

Oh, Anglomania takes the first punch, dipping her lard-laden biscuits in her piping hot tea. Oh, she’s whipping out the clotted cream! Oh, the jam! The jam!

But wait, what’s this?! The delicate flavors and flaky buttery goodness of France is rearing its pretty head. No tea is necessary to savor these babies! Deliciousness all around! Oh, it’s a biscuit massacre out there!

Like this:

A friend of mine’s family is all about Cappiello posters. They have them in their living room, their bedroom, their bathroom, the company offices, the summer homes, the other vacation homes, their children’s apartments….and yeah, the list just gets weirder after that.

Keeping that in mind, one shouldn’t be surprised when the sister commented on how she wanted to put this poster in the new baby’s room.

Ok, sure, children love elephants and you love Cappiello, I get it.

That said, I really have to assume that she can’t read French….or has a very odd sense of child-appropriate advertising. For those non-Francophones out there, this poster reads “I don’t smoke anything but Le Nil!” Apparently Dumbo here’s a smoker.

Thinking about this poster and the odd desire to place it in a baby’s room, I am reminded of Joe Camel. We all remember Joe–he was The Fonze of the animal kingdom. And precisely because every child loved Fonzie, he was yanked off the advertising circuit in 1997.

Giuseppe Elephant, on the other hand, never suffered such an embarrassing government-mandated fate. He got to trumpet about his love for Le Nil as long as their was billboard space and advertising francs. And just look at him, all swanked out in that red carpet. Who needs a leather biker jacket when you have a good Oriental rug on hand? I bet all the little madmoiselles and petit monsieurs were totally enamored of this super-cool pachyderm.

…And that’s how a generation of French children got hooked on cigarettes and died a horrible emphysema-related death.

So, to my friend’s sister, should she be reading this, you may have fabulous taste in posters (this is, personally, one of my favorite Cappiello’s), but you have questionable decorating morals when it comes to a baby’s room. Why not hang vintage Cocaine posters up while you’re at it?

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I know, I know, it’s not like this blog isn’t an endless ego-stream of how awesome the gallery I work for is (or, at the very least, how awesome/crazy/hilarious some of the vintage posters we sell are); however, the time has come for some shameless PR:

As of last Friday, we opened our pre-auction viewing. May I be so bold as to say that it is one of the most all-encompassing, beautifully-presented gallery shows I’ve ever seen (and this means a lot coming from me, a gallerina and all-around art-opening-whore). I mean, I’ve pretty much seen it all, from the epic Saatchi Sensation exhibit in ’97 to the far more sedate and posh BADA Fair last year.

Of course, looking at these photos our handy-dandy, red-headed resident photographer snapped the other day, some of you may be asking, “Why, Posterette? Why is this show worth my time?”

Well, dear reader, I will tell you:

1. Where else are you going to see over 500 lots actually on display? Even Christie’s doesn’t always put their entire auction on view before the sale. We show you everything, Full Monty-style….with art, that is.

2. In one, fabulously-presented little gem of a show, we will give you an entire visual history of the poster. From Art Nouveau to Art Deco, Modern to Contemporary, European to American, German Secession to Puerto Rican Avant-Garde, we really do have it all. It’s an interactive text book at your disposal.

3. I’m here…..almost every day. And I will gladly answer all your questions and possibly even get you totally turned on to the wondrous world of vintage posters.

So, my dears, I highly suggest you high-tail it over to the West Side Highway and take a gander at this epic show. If nothing else, we’ve got a view that will make you cry…no, really, it will…but don’t worry, we have tissues on hand.

The show is open til Saturday, May 2nd. We’re here every day, Mon-Fri 9-5; Sat/Sun 11-6. You can find us at 601 W. 26th St (Btwn. 11th and 12th Avenues), on the 13th Floor. And yes, we’re in Manhattan all you out-of-state readers.

I see this as the equivalent of those paintings old women have done of their fluffy Pekingese or yappy shitzus, which then go on to populate the walls of their bedrooms. The only real difference here is that this woman is advertising her obscene love of the canine kingdom to the world via a large-scale poster.

With a nose only a blind man could love, Ms. Clary certainly looks like the type of woman destined for spinsterhood. And despite the fact that her wardrobe choice looks rather well put-together, one can’t help but notice that her fashion sense has extended to her doggy friends, with each member of her ‘family’ donning a matching red bow. Yes, she probably has full-blown conversations with them….and yes, she might think they talk back to her.

Now, of course, I’m not being overly fair. A quick look in a history book lets me know that Arlette Clary was a semi-famous animal trainer; so, being surrounded by her pupils isn’t all that strange. That said, she is wearing that hat of a military General, so I may be so bold as to say that she probably took herself way too seriously. And here she is, Militant Mama gently coaxing her sweet little pooch friend to stand on his hind legs in the palm of her hand….because that’s a really useful skill for any smallish pet to have. Just ask Paris Hilton, lover of pint-sized pets.

Frankly, I’d be much more impressed if she was teaching a dog to make me an espresso or to deliver a baby, cuz sitting on my hand just doesn’t seem like something I’d ever ask an animal to do, even for novelty’s sake.

However, if you happen to love pets as much as Ms. Clary, or if you happen to work for a Veterinary clinic which is in dire need of unique artwork, you can totally grab this odd bit of ephemera up for as little as $1400 in our May 3 auction.

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This is a prime example of an advertising angle which just doesn’t resonate today the same way it did at the time of its printing.

Here you have a giant Aspirin-like pill, with medicine bottle legs and an elephant head, ravaging the earth of its foliage. And Mr. Tree looks mighty miserable, too.

Now, wipe that WTF expression off your face and answer me this: which of the four options listed below do you feel best captures the artist’s intent:

1. This is what happens when you genetically modify animals: they aimlessly destroy the planet.

2. Hybrid elephants will save us from anthropomorphic tree aliens.

3. Deforestation is AWESOME!

4. Geniol is a powerful, pain-fighting drug that will rip the sources of discomfort right out of your body, granting you near-instant relief.

If you answered 4, you obviously can either read French Spanish or have no sense of culturally irony….but you’d be correct. For all the rest of you out there, just take pride in knowing that we’ve evolved as a society beyond the point where killing trees is a happy and acceptable pastime.

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Vintage Poster Blog

Often irreverent, always informative, the Rennert's Gallery Vintage Poster Blog is the only news source covering every aspect of the vintage poster world. From pop culture to haute couture, if it has to do with posters, you’ll find it here.