Zak Jones avoids sanction, wins chook raffle

Zak Jones may as well buy a tatts ticket after avoiding sanction, for an offence against the very soul of the AFL, something they would surely have thrown the kitchen sink and the bible at. Here at The Swans Blog, we’ve been lucky enough to capture an excerpt of the discussions had the Match Review Panel.

“What do you think of Zak Jones?”, one panelist asked.

“Permit me in commonplace lieu, in determination of motive, this visage of fate, no mere veneer of vanity, suggest the character of this persona. Set upon by voracious violation of volition, cast vicariously as victim, ghastly, unspeakable, unmentionable, disgraceful coward, violently vicious.

“A visitation of a bygone vexation, I stand vivified to exact vengeance and I vow to vanquish this venal and virulent vermin. The only verdict is vengeance”, the other panelist responded, his face turning red, dancing across the table, with pen in hand, waving it through the air like a sword.

“Are you like a crazy person?” the first panelist asked, perplexed at his response

“diiiii heee aarrrrrbbbbeea yaarrrrrr weeeaarrr”, he yelled, before picking up the cat and throwing it at the other panelist.