heart

There is such simplicity in saying be kind, and at the same time, deep down in my heart, there are days where I feel as if I wasn’t as kind as I could be, or that I could have done something this or that way. Perhaps that’s just the empathetic side of me that feels this way. Last year I wrote a post about speaking from the heart because I find that it doesn’t happen the way it used to. There is an effect that technology has where we have the ability to talk online, which may cause us to be less emotional. When we talk in person, being raw is sometimes perceived as a weakness when it shouldn’t be.

Kindness is not those who do it to gain something, those who do it for attention or those who want to be perceived a certain way. True kindness is one that could be completely invisible to the eye but felt by others. It’s important to note that true kindness is ultimately loving yourself. It’s funny how sometimes we’re much kinder and far less judgmental towards others, but when it comes to ourselves, we can sometimes be harsh critics. It makes me think to when I had depression quite badly, there were thoughts that were so terrible and awful, that I’d never say to anyone else, but I said it to myself.

Being kind from your heart means seeing a person for their character and actions, rather than appearances. It means seeing a person on the street with a sad face, and picturing giving them a big warm hug (does anyone else do this as well!). Taking the time to listen to a friend and be there for them. Sometimes kindness is being very honest, which can make us feel unkind. However, it’s far better to be honest to a close one if you think they’re doing something wrong. It means you care for them and want the best for them. Kindness from your heart could be spending the time to cook a meal for a loved one.

It’s the ability to be tolerant and understanding, without judgment towards someone. It’s the time taken to help someone, not for any rewards, but simply because it gives a sense of connection. Helping and having compassion is something that encourages others and ourselves to do more of. It’s the ability to truly understand that every person is different and that we can’t change people. Sometimes it means knowing when to say yes and no. This one is important. Honesty has a strong tie with kindness because the truth will always reveal itself.

Actions speak louder than words. Think of Pride & Prejudice, and the way Elizabeth felt Darcy was incredibly arrogant and full of pride when really he was simply shy and reserved with his words. However, his actions showed that he was loving, caring and kind. We are all capable of spreading a light in our lives. You know that feeling of catching a smile from the distance, and feeling positive energy run through your body. No one can be happy all the time, but when we’re kind to other’s, we can spread that light and form a silent connection. Kindness is an invisible way of healing and gives a feeling of warmth and love.

Photography by Milton H. Greene

The moments we show our true colours is when the layers are peeled back. No one, not anybody, can be truly defined by their job, their appearances, how much money they earn, what education they have, what car they have, what clothes they wear, what house they live in, how many friends they have or what photos they’ve taken. External definitions do not bring long term happiness. The true happiness that we feel are the moments we act with kindness and love, lend a helping hand or spend time with loved ones. It’s the kind that we feel in our heart. I recently listened to a video here, where he reminds us to be a selfless and loving person even in the heat of the moment.

We may have times where we’ve compared with someone else, and automatically it can bring ourselves down. No one can be happy by comparing themselves or pretending to be someone else. The video mentions about taking off the mask. This is something that really spoke to me because I believe so deeply in being true to yourself. At the same time, as an INFJ, I tend to be very private and not show many people the true me completely. As much as I value being oneself, there is that slight contradiction where I do strive to be myself, but at the same time, not everyone will see me for me at a glance. But perhaps only over time, if not years!

As much as I love writing about fashion, art, film and books, the one thing I feel most important to write about are topics like this. They are messages we need a reminder of. The way we value life shouldn’t be of materials or from the way things look. Everyone is capable of kindness and improving themselves. The kindness that’s important, is doing things even when not a soul will see it. We often judge things from the way they look. People may judge a person the way we judge a painting or a book cover at a glance. Things are most often not what they seem to appear. Imagine the way the water looks on the surface, with its dark blue peaceful ripples, and picture a beautiful magical ancient ruin beneath. There’s a story hidden inside that we don’t see at first.

The title reads What Is In Your Heart Will Eventually Show from how much beauty, we may or may not see in someone the more we become closer. What is in our heart shows through our actions. When people start to open up to each other, there’s a part of them that’s unlocked. Their personality and a certain rawness start showing more and more. A beautiful person is seen from their heart, where over time it opens like a sleeping rose. In 1 Peter 3-4 reads: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder means that when the ones we love aren’t with us, they become more dearer to us. Phrases words it as The lack of something increases the desire for it. Long distance makes one grateful for the time you can spend with your loved ones. Whether it’s your family, friends or partner. The scent of Jasmine beside my bedside table reminds me of the country side. It’s amazing how much smells, music, food and places can give you familiar memories of the time you spent with loved ones. Long distance relationships tend to rely on regular communication in order to maintain a strong sense of closeness.

Staying in love and staying in touch is a choice. It allows for you to miss the other person, and reminds you why you’re with one another. Distance can often strengthen a relationship, when both are committed in making it work. Distance also means knowing more of who you are as an individual. It’s extremely important to know your own interests and independence. Space can make one miss their other half more, and it can make one love one another even more. For most of us when we left school, the likelihood of us keeping in touch with everyone is very slim. It shows that even through distance and absence, our true friends, family and loved ones will always keep in touch.

It can also widen your perspective and gives time for the both of you to realise how important you are to one another. It gives time to think and talk about things you really want to express, as well as bringing both of you closer. There’s this sense of longing and waiting that makes you excited for the next time you see your other half. Absence also allows us to know what our heart wants and what we want for our future. It gives us time to think and reflect. I do believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It refers to not only LDR’s, but also family and friends. If you see your family rarely, then the time spent with them is deeply appreciated.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. -Helen Keller. A beautiful reminder that reminds us to place more value on how we can become a better person through our mind and heart. Everything that is important to us in our lives are never materials or appearances. They tend to be our loved ones, the world we live in and the relationships and memories we have in our lives. “I have always loved the desert. One sits down on a desert sand dune, sees nothing, hears nothing. Yet through the silence something throbs, and gleams…” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince.

“There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.” ― Audrey Hepburn. Women in the media are constantly seen only by their physicality. They’re judged by their appearances which can cause many people to put more self worth in the way they look. Women should be seen through their wisdom, intelligence, abilities and strength. A women is more than a pretty face. There is no amount of makeup or amount of clothes that can hide an ugly heart.

I have to express that, because it seems strange to me when people are more often celebrated for their body and appearances than what is inside. I read an article titled The Beauty In Real Sex Appeal, which unfolds the quote in more detail: “Audrey Hepburn. The woman of her time. She was the face of classiness in Hollywood during the Sixties but she did not succumb to allowing herself to be viewed as a mere sex-object. Rather she was esteemed as a legend in the realm of wholesome beauty and class…What does this mean? She is so eloquently saying that just by being created a woman that she is sexy.”

This explains how much our society needs to really grasp the message of true beauty. In the article, Leonhardt also writes: “Audrey Hepburn celebrated her womanliness, her sex appeal, not in some minuscule attempt by unveiling the mystery of who she is in the bedroom to the entire world but instead by showing her grace, class and wholesome beauty through the way she conducted herself. She showed the extraordinaire of her body through ordinary things like simply standing in the rain. That inner confidence of beauty is real sex appeal.” Social Media is now a common example of millions of people who receive attention for showing their body and face.

“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.” ― Audrey Hepburn. You can tell a lot about someones heart, from what they say to other people. This is extremely true, as this often shows our true nature. You can also tell a lot from how someone treats other people. A person that only speaks about other people by gossiping, is likely to be untrustworthy and focused on others lives. A person that doesn’t go into others business, but speaks words of kindness and truth, reflects a lot about themselves.

When we look with the heart, we remember what is important in life. “What is essential is invisible to the eye.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince. It’s those moments we laugh that give us the greatest joy in life. It’s the feeling of helping others and bringing a smile to their face. The most simple things like being surrounded by nature, can give us the feeling of great peace and appreciation. Think of the feeling when you wake up to look at a sunrise, listen to a song that moves you or that feeling of embracing someone you haven’t seen in a long time. That kind of beauty touches our heart.

Audrey Hepburn photographed by Sam Shaw in Paris,1957

We see the world differently through our own eyes everyday. I feel like there is this part of myself, that wishes I could tell anyone who has ever felt alone, left out, worthless, ugly, hurt or question what their purpose in life is, I wish I could tell them how beautiful they are as a person. Not in the superficial way. Not in the surface leveled way, but the kind of goodness that goes far far deeper. I truly believe every person is born with goodness in their heart, and every person has the ability to be kind to others. There is a certain beauty we all have that is so different, and that’s what makes us who we are. You are capable of so much more than you know. We all share the same thing in that we were all born into this world, and we will all die on this Earth. I hope this can speak to anyone, on their best days and on their worse days.

You are beautiful through your kindness and heart. It radiates warmth and light into others life and brings a smile to their face.

You are beautiful the way you smile and the way you cry. Your honesty in expressing your emotions, and feeling the raw feelings straight from your heart is beautiful.

You are beautiful the way you respect your body and feed your soul with good words. Your mind and body is thankful for the kind words and good food.

You are beautiful for sharing love in this world. For helping other people and praying for those in need. For not judging but opening your heart to try understand.

You are beautiful with your bare face in the morning. Your inner self shines through and your personality surpasses any physical beauty.

You are beautiful for treating those as your friend. You do not feel better or higher than the person beside you, but you treat them as your neighbour.

You are beautiful because even when you face failure, you keep trying. Life is not perfect, but you always keep trying and you pick up your feet even when you fall down. You learn from the mistakes to keep improving.

You are beautiful in your honesty and faith. Self belief and truth are two beautiful characteristics. When you believe in yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to. You don’t build the walls in your mind that stop you in life.

You are beautiful when you help others without expecting anything in return. You help because you truly care from the bottom of your heart. You have good intentions.

You are beautiful because you are compassionate. Compassion makes us human. You have empathy and sensitivity towards others.

You are beautiful because of your abilities and intelligence. You are amazing in your own ways, with more potential than you give yourself credit for. You are so beautiful through your intelligence and wisdom.

If you are the sort of person who tells yourself that you are not beautiful, I really pray that you could try tell yourself once a day in the mirror, and say “I’m a beautiful person.” because you really are. Everyone is going through their own struggles in life and living their daily challenges. We are all walking on the Earth on our own journey. When I tell you you are a beautiful person, I hope you can understand that your beauty comes straight from your heart. Your experiences make you stronger, and the strive to live a positive life and bring light into the world makes you such a beautiful person!

“People where you live,” the little prince said, “grow five thousand roses in one garden… yet they don’t find what they’re looking for…”

“They don’t find it,” I answered.

“And yet what they’re looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water…”

“Of course,” I answered.

And the little prince added, “But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

The title is an excerpt from the book, The Little Prince: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

I highly recommend reading the book if you haven’t. There are many lessons in The Little Prince. One of the lessons that stand out to me, is the topic of love. What is truly important can only be felt and seen with the heart. This world needs love. We can do many things and never be joyful, but perhaps our happiness could be found in one simple thing (“in a single rose”). Our eyes may indulge in temporary beauty and what lies on the surface. But money and materials are unimportant. The true beauty of a person comes from their heart. Whatever you do today, remember to look with the heart.

How many of us truly speak from the heart? Not through a filtered lens, glassed window, technology device or cage of distractions, but purely from our heart straight to others. I have thought this for quite a long time, and have always been intrigued in the way we present ourselves a certain way with people. It makes me realise, what are we hiding? Why do we feel the need to cover our true selves, and most of all, why do we need to cover our weaknesses and mistakes, when it reminds us that we are all human. Especially in the adult world, how many lies are probably told each day in order to hide something? As a sensitive person, I can feel (though, not always) when someone is trying to fit in or aren’t speaking from their heart. The level of emotion, sensitivity, facial expression, eyes or content of speech sometimes gives a clue.

In a society, where talking from the mind is normal and expected, it is easily forgotten to speak from the heart. It is often seen as too emotional, but imagination and creativity all comes from the heart. As mentioned in an article here, children are very often suppressed at a young age to take in facts and neglect their full creativity. The idea that showing emotions is weak becomes more apparent, when it certainly isn’t true. From meeting many new people over the years, since leaving high school, it’s interesting to see the way we interact with one another. The ability to see if someone is speaking from the heart does not need too much thought, because it’s more something that is felt. Words that touch. Words that make you feel and affect you in a different way.

If we were to only speak in a way to impress others or to live for others sake, then how could we ever live a fulfilling life? The heart is honest, kind and good. It’s easy to become trapped into the way things go and to follow the crowd. It’s easy to live a life based around materials, possessions, online and physical image. But it can never truly complete your true purpose if the only reason is to fit in or to be someone you aren’t. A part of me wishes that there would be less systematic talking and emotionless conversations. For the world to be a better place, we must first start from the heart.