Everything works out so great for Oprah. She owns just about everything anyway, so why wouldn’t the acronym to her Oprah Winfrey Network turn out to be OWN? Herewith, a list of five similarly-inspired celeb networks that you won’t be seeing, mostly because they’re so incredibly stupid. ABS—Ashanti Broadcasting System CON—Conan O’Brien Network DAN—Danny Aiello…

There’s a reason science hasn’t announced proof of the existence of mermaids yet. It’s because they haven’t stumbled upon athletica2011’s listing for a dead mermaid baby found on an oyster bed under a pier in south Florida. Now mind you, athletica2011 is no Johnny-come-lately, with a 100% feedback tally of 749 and a purple star…

The next time some “loudmouth” who is taller than you and has a large rock in his hand threatens your girlfriend in a dark alley, what will you do? Well, if you’re following the advice of this ad from an early ’60s men’s magazine, you can either “slink away like a whipped dog bringing shame…

From the blog Bookflaps, where the shopkeeper for the York Emporium book and curiosity shop in York, PA came upon a July 1922 issue of Flapper magazine with a complete dictionary of terrific slang from the era. Some of the terms have actually survived (the entry for “Bee’s Knees” says “See ‘Cat’s Pajamas’”), but most…

When they come for my computer they’re not going to know what to make of it. They’ll find a spoof jpeg of the guy that looks like a thumb from Facebook. They’ll find files with 16th century alchemical drawings. They’ll find a story about a ferret from Hoboken named Alby, and a song about a…

There’s skull culture and there’s pimp culture, and it was only inevitable that the twain should collide in such a fine piece of cast resin glory as this. Honestly, if this isn’t the kitsch of the ’10s then my name is Pimp Daddy Calaveras. Buy it before I do. http://tinyurl.com/pimpskull