Sunday, April 29, 2012

UNETIDA have denied accusations that the so-called "Olympic Missiles" being planned to be deployed by the British Ministry of Defence in the London area for the Olympics this summer is for defence against an imminent Extra Terrestrial attack.

"Nonsense," said Colonel "Rockets" Thompson, UNETIDA's Missile Defence Commander earlier today. "The tactical high-velocity missiles that the British are going to place on top of populated residential flats would do little against alien tech capable of reaching and attacking the planet."

Colonel Thomson was referring to a story which appeared in the worlds news yesterday where apparently a Higher Velocity Missile system could be placed on a water tower [above] in an East London estate, where 700 people live according to leaflets received by residents from the Ministry of Defence. The MoD says that the missiles will not pose a hazard to residents and "will only be authorised for active use following specific orders from the highest levels of government in response to a confirmed and extreme security threat".

The British Army says the HVM system is "designed to counter threats from very high performance, low-flying aircraft". It says the missile travels at more than three times the
speed of sound, using "a system of three dart-like projectiles to allow
multiple hits on the target". The missiles can be fired from the shoulder, from a lightweight multiple launcher or from armoured vehicles.

Residents of the gated flats on Bow, East London were wary over the plan according to spokesman Brian Whelan a resident and journalist. "From the few people I've spoken to, and the security we have here,
they're not happy about it," he said. "I don't think it needs to be here
at all. They say they'll only use them as a last resort, but... you'd shower debris across the east end of London by firing these missiles."

Mr Whelan, who claims to have seen soldiers carrying a crate into the building, said his property management company put up posters and gave out the leaflets [above] on Saturday.

Colonel Thompson assured the press that if UNETIDA had to fire off any of the class of missiles it controls that debris would be "the last thing folks would be worried about".

1 comment:

vaughan
said...

Thompson I thought he was "Suspended" with pay after that fiasco with Mars last month...I know the man didn't like John Carter but somebody surely told him it wasn't real.

But really Brian Whelan gets the award for man missing the point...he's worried about the debris that will be scattered from a launch? Surely he should be more worried about the debris from an attack that would cause the missile to be launched. You know I wonder how the hell would 21st century Londoners would have coped with the Blitz? not well from this weedy complaining answer.

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