Saturday, April 23, 2011

the power of positive communicating

So, even though this week I've been focusing on my "health" chapter, I've also been working on the general happiness. Since I'm not at work this week the radius has been small, starting around the house and in my social networking.

Example: for whatever reason, it drives my roommate CRAZY when I leave my coffee cup in the sink. I don't know why. To me it makes perfect sense to put water in it and leave it until I have breakfast later and wash all the dishes at once (we don't have a dishwasher). But he has his reasons, like we all do for little things like that; it drives him crazy and I respect that. I've just started washing it. It takes me 30 seconds and then he doesn't get frustrated and then I don't roll my eyes when I notice he's frustrated. See? Easy. Everyone's happier.

Another: it drives me crazy when he doesn't use the compost bin. He's just not comfortable with it. I understand; it's new and kind of gross. But it still bothers me that he won't use it, so I've started cleaning out his coffee pot at night before bed (yes, we have separate coffee pots). That way the grounds go in the bin where I want them and he doesn't have to deal with it. Another 30-second task and everyone wins. (On the flip side, he always sets up my coffee for me at night so all I have to do is hit the button in the AM. Very thoughtful!! Our coffee system is so positive!!!)

One of the other things that is huge... HUGE to me, as silly as it sounds, is people's negativity on Facebook. I mean, it's a social network, after all. Social. I think of it as a big group of friends talking to one another, in front of other friends. I guess people find it easier to say things behind the wall of a computer monitor than they would in person? But A) no one wants to read your status update if all you do is whine all the time, and B) picking a fight on Facebook is lame and unproductive. An example from my friend Jeff's wall (sorry it's so small, click to enlarge):

I left Jeff's name intact because he was both initially positive and gracious in his response (I hope he doesn't mind). If this was my wall my first reaction would have been to bite back.

But why, WHY do people find it necessary to respond in this manner? First of all, it was just a link that Jeff found inspirational and he shared it. If you don't like it, move on. No one is making you read it. Second of all, I'll never understand why omnivores find it somehow... offensive when people choose to not eat meat. This is not specific to omnivores vs. vegetarians; it is also religious, political, environmental, etc. But honestly, why does he care? He has to have meat at every meal? Don't eat at Cafe Gratitude. Who cares? I mean, I personally don't understand why someone would choose to say, spend $80K on an automobile, but it's not hurting me. I would never respond on someone's Facebook wall and be all "oh, that's so irresponsible with your funds and bad for the environment and plus it's really ugly and hard to park." Because in that instance, my opinion really doesn't matter, and all I would be doing is throwing negativity out into the interwebs. Probably sparking someone to retort, thus and furthering the negativity. It's just not worth it.

Happy is as happy does. As St. Therese of Lisieux said, "for the love of God and my sisters (so charitable towards me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so."