Why Are We Closing Gitmo?

Word on the street is that Barack Obama is closing Gitmo, the vacation spot for enemy combatants in the War on Terror.

That's fine by me — although there's been no mention as to where were putting these creeps afterwards. My previous suggestion — housing them in Arianna Huffington's mansion — went ignored. I assume that's because many of the prisoners at Guantanamo are Muslim and she's just racist.

From where I'm squatting, Obama isn't closing it to help America, but to help himself — by gaining yet more approval from balding, pudgy columnists at The Guardian. It's a gesture meant to preserve popularity, not safety.

And yes, I know that John McCain also wanted to close Gitmo. But that was for the same reason: to guarantee applause on Letterman.

If only our leaders knew that by placating our international critics, it only makes them greedier and our country less powerful. More importantly, why would we take advice from countries dying from their own hapless ideologies?