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Re: St. Patrick's Day Jokes

Re: St. Patrick's Day Jokes

There was a German, an Italian and a Paddy on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: 1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." (Boom, he was dead instantly). Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.) Then the Paddy said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Paddy fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy. Then the Paddy said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?" The Paddy replied, "You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom!"

Re: St. Patrick's Day Jokes

Re: St. Patrick's Day Jokes

An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint and he went off to work!"

Re: St. Patrick's Day Jokes

Re: St. Patrick's Day Jokes

Paddy & Mick decided to get their good mate, Murphy a "special" birthday present for his 65th birthday As Murphy opened his front door, there stood a drop-dead-gorgeous and very sexy 5'-10" blue-eyed blonde. "Uh, may I help you?" Murphy drooled. "Why no, Murphy. I'm here as a gift from your old mates. And every night, all this week, I'm gonna give you SUPER SEX." Murphy looked thoughtful for a moment and finally sighed at his inability to measure up to the situation... "I guess I'll take the soup."

Re: St. Patrick's Day Jokes

Re: St. Patrick's Day Jokes

Two Irish blokes are out hunting in the woods when Paddy says,"I'm dying for a shit,but I haven't got anything to wipe my arse with." Mick says,"Have you got a fiver Paddy?" "Yes," says Paddy."Well use that," replies Mick.So Paddy goes off for 5 minutes and comes back with shit all over his hands and clothes.Mick says,"What the fuck happened to you?" Paddy looks at him and replies,"Have you ever tried to wipe your arse with four pound coins and two 50 pence pieces?"