The definitive matchup: Los Angeles versus Seattle

I’ve had the good fortune and immense pleasure of living in Washington for decades and California for half a decade. As a whole they’re remarkably similar. Both have super varied environments – from deserts to old growth to epic Pacific coastlines. Both have strong traditions of farming, tech, military.

But the distinctions become laughably sharp when we look at their biggest cities, Seattle and Los Angeles. These cities are opposites and awesomely so.

Weather

LA too damn hot and sunny for its own good. This is a blessing, of course, but as the sun beats down and dries out everything under the blazing blue dome of the sky the moisture is sapped from the sparse thirsty soil and creates an evil layer of dust that fornicates with car exhaust and broken dreams to form a ubiquitous black grime that settles on every surface far and wide.

329 days of sunshine is pretty nice though…but eventually you miss weather and the fluffy texture that clouds bring to the sky.

In SEA it doesn’t rain as much as you might think, but it’s overcast and dreary and drizzly and rainy for a solid 5 months a year with periodic lapses of sunshine when the population scurries outside squinting like mole people and try to warm their soggy skin before the grey curtains of clouds close back in.

BUT when late spring rolls around (and it always does my friends, it always does) a green paradise matriculated with swollen rivers and perfect blue bird afternoons emerges from the gloom. The Summer/Fall is in the PNW is epic. All that water that was falling from the sky is now lakes, bays, creeks and trees and oh snap, it’s 80° and the sun doesn’t set until 10pm!

Geography

WA / CA both have deserts, forests, wetlands, mountains, volcanos, coastline and old growth. WA has the distinction of having a rain forest (fitting huh?) and CA is home to Death Valley, the hottest place on earth (134° at Furnace Creek, recorded in 1913). The vastness of LA is hedged by desert, ocean and sun blasted mountains and the small footprint of SEA is hedged by forests, bays and rain drenched mountains. They are opposites.

City

SEA is smaller than you think. LA is bigger than you thought.

SEA’s downtown is a prominent feature of the city, fringing the shore of Elliot Bay.

LA’s downtown is usually viewed from several miles away as a tiny island of high rise buildings obscured by haze and swallowed up by a sea of urban sprawl. Traversing LA is a herculean feat and after an hour or two of driving I feel physically drained and I develop a terrible vampiric jonesing for In-N-Out Burger.

The sheer number of cars on the road piloted by frantic, frustrated, stressed out, tired, high, deranged and delirious drivers is staggering. Try not to dwell on the fact that you are in constant competition with at least a half million people at any time, like a rat running a maze of filthly concrete towards some distant slice of discarded pizza. SEA has a population 1/6th than that of LA and as far as major US cities go it’s actually quite small, and more importantly, it feels small. The neighboring communities make the whole footprint considerably larger but the city of SEA is only 84 sq. miles.

Compare that to LA’s 469 and the city of angeles dwarfs the city of emeralds.

Culture

LA is unlike any place I’ve ever been in that people are flocking here from all corners of the multiverse. LA is a nexus of dreamers and seekers, arriving to make it big or just make a better life. The Latino influence obviously can’t be understated – there is no LA without Mexico and Latino culture. More Spanish is spoken in LA than English, or so I’m told. I’ve lived in Hollywood – West and East – and the culture in this neck of the city is a bit strange but it’s also very cool. I know only living in the Hollywood area limits my experience and understanding of LA considerably but I try to make up for it by exploring the wider city when I can. Ultimately, if feel like if you can handle the heat and the traffic and the trash and the crime and the humans then LA is a pretty awesome place. You just have to find your niche, the neighborhood that you love and can barely afford. There is a surplus of distractions and art and collaborators and schemes, you just have to find yours.

The Pacific Northwest has a distinct vibe… if you’re imagining a Seahawks fan decked out in nauseating neon green and blue 12th man gortex paddling in a kayak next to Orca you’d be pretty close. But if you imagine a hipster millennial slurping a Rainier listening to some OK band in a dive bar or a tech start-up CEO working from a Starbucks, or an University of WA student or a longshore worker lining up at the Union Hall …you get the idea. SEA’s culture is a consequence of nature, history and (more and more),art and tech. Seattle has been generating music and art and rebellion since its early days and nothing has changed. There is a small riot or insurrection every couple of years.

I think the fact that the sun goes to sleep around 4 in the afternoon all winter and it doesn’t matter because it was raining anyways has been a tremendous generator of art and food and culture. In the months when you’re not frolicking in the green splendor of the summer you have to do something. SEA’s is a product of PNW ethos and the psychic and physical pressure of the surrounding environments.

WA and CA share the undeniable West Coast spirit that celebrates relaxation, good vibes, personal freedom and a love for life.

Food

LA perfected the food truck and tacos are what the fuck is up.

SEA is where you go to eat salmon when you’re not in Alaska.

Style

SEA: black, layers, North Face, rain resistant, fashion forward in a dapper or hipster sort of way. It drizzles half of the year and nobody but tourists carry an umbrella.

LA: light, shorts & flip-flops, sun’s out gun’s out, fashion forward…or not. The styles of these cities are predicated on the weather and the culture. LA is either hot or warm. On a sunny day in SEA it could rain three times. The culture in LA is hard to pin down, there is no one culture…it really depends on which corner of the colossal city you’re observing. SEA’s style is easier to conceptualize and seems to fall into several archetypes; the casual PNW native in a flannel or t-shirt and blue jeans, the nature freak decked out in REI, the hipster (skinny jeans, beanie, jean jacket blah blah blah), the 12th man, the business/tech pro, the frumpy yokel, the boho artist, the leftover Occupy protester/panhandler.

If you live in Seattle then according to this asshole your style probably falls into one of these categories.

What pisses me off most

CA – My food while driving through the Central Valley.

WA – Conservative yokels that I went to high school with.

LA – The crazy drivers who want you dead, constant cacophony.

SEA – Rental prices, the Bertha fiasco.

Fave place outdoors

CA – Redwood National Park + Joshua Tree.

WA – Olympic National Park + Mt. Rainier.

LA – Any beach when the surf is good. Topanga State Park.

SEA – Volunteer Park, Burke Gilman bike path

Socializing

In LA it is notoriously difficult to get people to commit and actually attend an event or party. FOMO in a city like LA is constant menace; what if there is a better/cooler/closer party with better music and cooler people and more drugs and, and, and…let me check Waze… fuck! the traffic is terrible! You’ll have 500 people ‘interested’ on your FB event page and 5 show up…You can’t blame people…the thing you were interested in on Wednesday is a cross-city migration against impossible odds and almost certain death on Friday.

In SEA…it may not take an hour and half to cross the city…but people act like it does. That said, people are not nearly as unintentionally flakey as they are in LA. BUT overall, it’s easier to meet people and make friends in LA.

Firstly, there are waaaay more people in LA, so the odds of finding a kindred spirit are high (getting them to drive across town to meet you are however not high). It’s a very social city and people are generally open, if not opportunistically so. I’ve heard SEA can seem to have a cold shoulder, the ‘Seattle Chill’’, I haven’t experience the chill but I’ll concede Seattleites are not as warm as Angelenos and I would chalk it up to weather.