Posts Tagged ‘million dollar question’

A person whose blog I follow and respect tremendously addressed the question if there was a magical pill that could take autism/Aspergers away would she give it to her child. At first I was very insistent saying that I would take it in a second without giving it a second thought. There are many holes in my life which I blame my Aspergers for. For example, I don’t have the best social life, I am 27 and have never had a girlfriend or got intimate with a girl and I still live at home. On the outset who would argue with my decision from the outside it looks like a terrible life. However, if you take a bigger view of my life I have an incredible family, friends who care about me a great job and things that I am passionate about. If I were able to take away my Aspergers at this point in my life not much would change because I have grown into patterns and if there is going to be any serious intervention in someone’s life it has to happen when they are young. It is not something simple like avoiding alcohol for an alcoholic but it means changing the most basic way I interact with people and that kind of change is much harder.

So if I was a child again would I take it? I don’t really know is the truth. I am not going to say that having Aspergers is a blessing but I am not as convinced as I once was that it is a curse.They say that a butterfly flapping its wings can create natural disasters on the other side of the world and that you can’t know the immense effects on your life if you went back in time and made small adjustments. Getting rid of my Aspergers would be a major adjustment.

Therefore, I may be better at sports and be less socially awkward but I would also likely not have the same incredible relationship with my family. Part of the reason why I am so close with my family is probably because I did not have as many friends and therefore relied on them more than usual and my life would not be as rich without these relationships. I have an incredibly strong relationship with my siblings and parents who I love dearly. If I did not have Aspergers maybe I would not have appreciated as much having tea every night with my parents. Or have a private book club with my mom where we sit together and read our books. Through this I have been exposed to so many incredible books and have been as rich as a king by having these books at my fingertips and it makes me as happy as a bug in a rug.

If I was not so disorganized, my sister may not have had to develop as maternal instincts and alot of people would be poorer for it. My sister is great whenever someone new moves into their co-op housing she goes out of her way in order to befriend them and make their lives better. Would she have had this same level of compassion if she did not think of how cruel the world can be and saw how much I struggled? It’s most likely as she’s a really nice person, but you never know. It’s the same with my brother who has raised almost half a million dollars for women affected by aids in South Africa.

If I did not have Aspergers then I would not have this chance to try and be a spokesperson for the cause and try and make life better for other people with the same disability by raising awareness through my stand-up comedy and my blog. I also would not have as much material for my stand-up career. Not having enough material or even stand-up comedy alone is not a good enough reason to justify having Aspergers but I am happy about the spokesperon part.

Having had to work for everything has also helped me accomplish great things like achieving my masters degree instead of being lazy and slacking off. Lots of people who are neurologically normal, even from middle-class homes, end up drinking all the time and may never achieve anything worthwhile. I, however, enjoy drinking with my friends but also know the value of hard-work.

In the end I don’t know if my life would be the same if you took away my Aspergers or if it would be unrecognizable, and ultimately, the good in my life outweighs the bad.