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reminder: breathe

it’s monday night, and it’s after 10. i’ve only been home an hour, and i’m sitting in bed, cuddled in a faux fur blanket from pottery barn, watching the most obnoxious couple ever to grace house hunters, and perusing my favorite blogs. i can almost feel my muscles uncoiling, my breath slowing into a rhythm.

i love new york. i do. but sometimes, i feel like it moves too fast for me. work is too stressful, life is too busy, the subway is too crowded. it’s like the city closes in on you and all you want to do is just BREATHE for a second, but the stale subway air smells like moldy umbrellas and it’s muggy and rainy outside and there’s a guy rapping along to his iPod holding the same pole as you are.

in those moments, i think to myself, i could live somewhere else. i could ditch these sidewalks and just get the hell out of here. i could drive a used prius down quiet suburban streets, and go out to bars that close at 1am. i could shop in grocery stores that never sell out of fresh produce, sit in cozy coffee shops all day without a single homeless person asking me for a dime.

but if i just remind myself to breathe, and i take the time to walk home, like i did from soho tonight, just me and my fryes kicking up the slush – no instagram, no phone calls, no music – just me and my thoughts and the cool winter air, it all falls back into place. and i love the city again, and the little life i’ve built for myself here.

so, note to self: when it all gets to be too much, just breathe. in, and out. that’s it.