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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Comparison

They say comparison is the death of contentment.
To a point, I beg to differ.

If when we compare, we either beat ourselves up or set the other up on a pedestal, then yes, comparison would bring the death of contentment.

If, however, when we observe a situation and filter it through it's applicability in our lives, and use it to change something in our life for the better, then I would disagree with those who say comparison is the death of contentment.

If all you got out of the first lines of this post were "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah", let me give an example.

When my children interrupt me, I'm faced with some options:
1. Stop my conversation or train of thought to answer my child
2. Ignore said child.
3. Place my hand out to halt them.
4. Say politely, "Don't step on Mommy's words, Honey..."
There is another option, but I reserve this one for when no one else is around.
It goes like this:5. "CAN'T YOU SEE I WAS TALKING????????? DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!!!!!!"
Yeah, not exactly the response I should use...but I do. Terrible, I know.

UNTIL-----I observed my friend Theresa and they way she deals with her little man's interruptions.
I compared her way with my way and thought, "Hm. I like that much better. It's something I could easily implement. I'm going to work hard to change the way I handle interruptions."

Now, had I said--"Oh man...Theresa's a waaaaay better mother than me. Look how she handled that. I'm such a bad mom. No wonder my kids don't like me."--that would have been the death of contentment.
Instead, I used it to change something in my life for the better. Ahhh...contentment.

Would you like to know what I try to (but don't always) do now when my rude little children interrupt me?
I tell them to put their hand on my arm (if I'm sitting) or my knee/leg (if I'm standing) and when I'm finished talking, I'll talk to them.
Mother and child both feel better than when using response number 5--take it from me.

2 comments:

Thank you so much for this post Melissa! Many times I compare myself to others. But I like how you look at it. Instead oh I am such a bad mom compared to her, you said how can I learn from her. I love that!!

Funny that I actually learned this (besides from a good book) from a mom and sister of mine (who also read the book) that I love and admire and am continually challenged not to negatively compare myself to :). Glad we can all get some good ideas from each other!

About Me

I am a wife and mother, seeking to do that which the Lord requires of me: to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with my God.
Our children are Nathaniel (20), Isaiah (18), Linnea (16), Andrew (13), Christopher (11), Elijah (8), Ruby (8), Ivy (6), Elizabeth (4) Abram (3) Cecelia (2), and Silas (7 months). We believe that the Lord is the Author of life and that He alone opens and closes the womb. We are happy to welcome more children! My husband is a dairy farmer and I stay at home to care for him, the children, and this house in which we live.