Madonna Kisses and Tells

Madonna ought to count herself lucky that she’s only had to explain her tonguing of Britney Spears to her nine-year-old daughter Lourdes.

Lourdes is slowly learning that mom really isn’t a prim and proper English countrywoman and that she a walk-in closet full of skeletons. Here is the exchange between the precocious little scamp and Mommy Dearest, as related to Out magazine, via People:

“’Mom, you know they say that you are gay?’ And I'm, 'Oh, do they? Why?' And she says, 'Because you kissed Britney Spears.' I said, 'No, it just means I kissed Britney Spears. I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star. And I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her.'"

Lourdes will be able to save money while explaining all this to her future therapist by just handing him the magazine.

While this flakey, earth mother excuse might work for now (or at least convince her daughter not to bother asking any more questions), I can’t wait to hear how Madonna explains Denis Rodman and her notorious Sex book.