Pages

Monday, January 11, 2016

(Don't) Fear... The Leapers!

Every four years, we experience what is known as Leap Year: the insertion of an extra day into the calendar so that over time, Halloween doesn't eventually fall on Valentines Day, baseball season doesn't begin in November and volcanoes don't explode in Manhattan.
Also, every four years, we deal with these clowns...

The Leapers

Less a gang of criminals and more a gaggle of annoying boobs, The Leapers are dormant for four years between crime waves. It's not like we don't know (and dread) their arrival, but because of what is obviously a deep-seated desire for attention, they always feel the need to warn us anyway.

"Dear Unbelievables,The time of The Leapers is almost nigh! Try to stop us if you dare!! Or if you feel like it (please try to stop us; we bought new outfits and everything this year).Leapity leap leap leap!Sincerely,Larry, Louis, Leonard, Lewis, Lester, Larry (a different one) and Lionel"

Their thing is that they run around and leap. That's it. They leap while robbing banks. They leap when they kidnap an heiress. They leap when they jaywalk (see illustration above). That's it. Standard, garden variety criminals who jump up and down. As such, they're very easy to capture; just let them launch themselves upward and wait for them to come back down, because of gravity. Still, they are criminals. Relatively harmless and silly criminals, but criminals none the less. As such, we're obligated to stop them.

They won't start really acting up until February (Leap Month) 29th (Leap Day), but we need to get ready for them.