discovering the desires of my heart one day at a time

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One last question during my interview last Saturday was to give an advice to my 16-year old self. Okay, so I recalled how the highschool Jassy was and these were the things I thought she needed to hear then.

Hi Jas. You don’t need to wear masks. You don’t need to maintain the image that you’ve created. You don’t need to pretend that you’re strong, that you’re the bully one. You don’t need to pretend that you don’t have a crush. It’s okay to express yourself. It’s okay to be you.

What a heart-warming moment! Needless to say, I cried.

**This was written on Nov 27, 2017, days after my interview for an NGO. Indeed, it was a meaningful interview coz I learned many things about myself and my dreams and desires. Yey, thank You Lord! 🙂

As I read blog posts and notes and reflections I’ve written years ago, I can’t help but be amazed on how I processed my thoughts back then. It seemed like I had so much time, or maybe, I really made time to think things through. I miss that attitude.

Well, I had time maybe because internet was not that accessible before, which means going online was not yet that much of a temptation as it is now. Maybe.

Looking back, I think what made me wiser before were my daily conversations with God. I remember how fruitful my Quiet Times were– tho, okay fine, there were also times when I skipped– but overall during my college years, I learned many things about God and my place in the world as Jesus’ friend. I learned more about God’s love and plan written in the Bible. I was empowered to share to the people I meet what I learned. And I believe that the lessons I learned and shared and applied in life made me wiser. I lived with intentionality, always wanting to share God’s word to everyone.

Oh, memories! I hope to live wiser again this 2018, and even more than that!

I read somewhere in Facebook that the most recent 12 emojis that I used would say how each month of my 2018 would go. Haha. My emojis were interesting, so I thought, why not take time to analyze it? Here’s my analysis:😉 January – wink – maybe some unexpected things will happen🚲 February – bike – more free time and opportunities to travel🌺 March – pink flowers – time to bloom? Pwede! HAHA🌼 April – yellow (and blue) flower – achievements and transitions?😬 May – “Oops, what should I do now” emoji – uncertainies?😶 June – speechless – more space for self-check and growth?💝 July – heart with ribbon – oooh baka naman? Haha pero with reservations pa lolz🌸 August – pink flowers ulit – ligawan stage! Charots. Deh, baka girly feels, ganyan😄 September – happy emoji – happy and meaningful days😅 October – may pawis emoji – awkward moments? Pero masaya hmmm✌ November – peace sign – reconciliation and world peace hehe, and peace of heart💗 December – hearts – a month full of love from God flowing to the people around

My 2018 may or may not end up like how it is here on the list, but one thing’s for sure: God will be with me throughout the year as He has always been in my life since 1992 hihi. 🙂 Am now excited for 2018. Yey!

Oooh earlier this year, I wrote about what would make my 2017 happy and meaningful: Closer relationship with God, family time, Bok in church, organized room, Dream Library, punctual Jassy, God-centered 25th birthday celebration, opportunities to share God’s Word, intentional Jassy.

So, where am I now? Well, I would want to talk about each item on my list but my eyes are stuck on the last item: intentional Jassy. Intentional. Done on purpose. Deliberate. Oooh. And what is my purpose? What do I intend to do? I believe it is to share God’s Word and God’s love to the people around me. How can I do that? What must I do for the rest of the days of 2017 to share God’s love intentionally?

Soak in God’s Word daily.

Post a verse and my reflections on Instagram. Be intentional!

Less convos with friends about crush, more about Christ.

Grab opportunities to talk with a stranger about God’s love and the meaning of Christmas.

Thank You Lord for this day! Thank You for helping me finish my long overdue assignments. Thank You for my kwentuhan with Ate Mai. Thank You for TFP’s email, my heart really jumped for joy! Thank You because I am now one step closer to coming back to teaching. Thank You for friends who rejoiced with me as I update them with this good news. Thank You for their expressed support and for their willingness to be a part of my application journey! Thank You for their moral support, Lord. Thank You for opening this door to me. Thank You!