He claims librarian Lynn Snodgrass-Pilla's decision to extend Dominick's access to the library through the end of the year sends the wrong message.

"That's not how you stop crime, Snodgrass-Pilla," he says.

Instead, he suggests taking a similar approach to when his uncle caught him smoking and forced him to smoke an entire carton of cigarettes to cure the bad habit. Colbert whips out an enormous box of books and threatens to send them to Dominick.

"I bet you love Harry Potter, huh? Well, let's see how much you like this special collector's box set of all seven books signed by me!" he says.