Sydney White

The latest Amanda Bynes vehicle, Sydney White, gives "Snow White" a college try. I know what you're thinking: they still make Amanda Bynes vehicles? Abandon all hope, ye who enter the unhallowed halls of Southern Atlantic University. There, Rachel Witchburn judges herself "still the fairest of them all," since she's #1 on the school's MySpace "Hot or Not?" list. That's about as clever as this storyline (which might as well be credited to the ScriptBot 3000) gets. The picture wears its Dopey-ness on its sleeve, especially when the "Seven Dorks" show up: a bunch of nerds who unaccountably continue to take up campus housing though they're no longer enrolled. You'll nod in agreement as Witchburn yells at her pledges, "Welcome to hell, skanks!"