My whole life I have lived as a prisoner of OCD. I can remember even as a child and teenager feeling obsessed by crazy compulsions that I needed to complete. When I drank a glass of ice water, if the ice melted even a little, I had to race back to the freezer and refill it to the top. The foods I ate could never touch on a plate. If it did,I felt uneasy.

OCD Changed and Grew as I Did

As I grew into an adult, my OCD
trappings became more intense. I could never run out of paper towels or toilet
paper. If I did, I had to stop whatever I was doing and run to the store to get
more. I never let my car gas gauge get below a quarter of a tank (At least that
compulsion was convenient and kept me from running out of gas).

My life ran on routines and
very strict schedules. One day a cashier at the grocery store asked me, “What
are you doing here? It’s not Friday at 6 a.m.” I had become so predictable and
rigid in my life, even the grocery store staff knew it.

Everything in my house always
had to be my way. I once overheard my husband warn our young daughter not to
touch something in the house or else I would “freak out.” Up until that point, I didn’t think my OCD affected
anyone but me.

My OCD made me feel like a
freak. I hated being a slave to these ridiculous impulses. I hated the way it
was, but I was convinced it would never change. Thankfully, I was wrong.

Near Death Experience Woke Me Up

Four years ago, I had a scary
night in the emergency room and almost died. From there, I was forced to have
complicated surgery with a long recovery. Approximately six weeks into my
recovery, the love of my life suddenly left me. To say I had hit rock bottom would
be an understatement.

From the depths of despair,
however, came insight and healing. I found spiritual techniques like tapping
(EFT) and daily meditation through an unlikely source. These things combined
with the support of friends and family helped me put my life back together. As
a side effect of all the healing, I also kicked the habit of OCD.

My Miracle Cure for OCD

Part of my journey of healing
and recovery included change. I have always been terrified of change. I believe
my OCD is linked to my extreme need for consistency, comfort and control. I eventually
decided that if I was truly going to kick my habit, I had to change everything,
and be comfortable with it.

I changed how and where I ate.
I change my clothing. I moved everything in my house around. I changed my
habits and my lifestyle in every single way. I changed my schedule, my work and
my thinking. All of my behaviors have changed as a result. The modifications to
my life were so profound that years later people are still commenting on them.
The other day, a friend asked me why I had no ice cubes in the freezer, and I
said: “I don’t use them anymore.” He stood there for a minute stunned
remembering my strange obsession with them before.

The miracle of freeing myself
from OCD occurred slowly, and naturally the more I changed things. I left no
room for OCD to creep in; I was like a moving target.

Keep it Going

I have continued on this
journey of change and healing, and I make sure not to start any new patterns. I
don’t want to swap an old habit for a new one that might get me caught up again
in an OCD hailstorm. As long as I keep changing things and I remind myself to
keep moving and evolving, I will remain free of any OCD symptoms.

I have left that part of myselfbehind, and now I am much more comfortable with uncertainty. If I go too longwithout changing something, I get hungry for it and I need to shake things up.I cannot believe how different I am. I am grateful for the hardships I enduredas they brought me the most miraculous healing when I needed it the most.

Dawna M. Roberts has spent much of her career in web technologies writing content, blogs, marketing materials and website copy for her clients. She enjoys crafting well-written, compelling content that keeps readers coming back for more. For more information, check out her website at dawnamroberts.com