Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Just before we ring in the new year, I thought it would nice to write my last post of the year. I feel that when you start off the year fresh everything is so much more better. You feel happier and have a peace of mind.

Anyways, just a little piece of advice I thought I'd throw out at you guys:D

Sometimes I wonder why life's journey is always going around a cycle. See you start off as nothing, bask in the glory of success, fall flat on your head, and eventually become nothing again. Thus continuing your once gone over cycle. Mhm... why can't we just stay within the glory? Why does there have to be a down point in life? Though there's no point in asking those questions because the cycle will keep on going even if I like it or not. So why is it that I'm still questioning it? I guess I just need answers to things that still bother me. Until then, let the cycle continue...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

All living creatures on this planet have one thing in common. This familiar quality consists of thoughts and particular ideas from the past. This feature allows us to relive the past. These are memories. Memories are not merely moments of your life, but they are also moments which have made you into the person you are today. Without these precious memories, your identity would not exist.

Memories are moments from our past. These moments may or may not hold significance to us. “We do not remember days; we remember moments.” This statement by Cesare Pavese from, “The Burning Brand’, holds much truth. We are meant to remember moments because our brains cannot hold all that information. It’s great that we are able to look back, but sadly the truth is that these memories are not the exact replica of the past. When I was about five years old I had the unfortunate pleasure of fracturing my left arm. My cousins and I were on the floor sitting in a circle, minding our own business after a tiring game of ‘ring around the rosy’. The boys thought it’d be fun to mock us girls, so they got into the middle of the circle and started ringing around the rosy. Tragically when they all ‘fell down’, they fell on me. I learned a very valuable lesson that day: I should always, I repeat ALWAYS, keep distance from my rambunctious cousins! That is pretty much all I remember about that horrific incident.

As I become older and wiser, I’ve realized the importance of these memories. I feel that our memories help us stay in touch with our roots. Memories are what make us, memories are what break us. They show you what kind of person you were and what kind of person you are now. I was like a fall leaf, something shy and quiet. Though it’s that memory which made me realize fall leaves will eventually rustle very loudly in the wind.

What would happen if we didn’t have any memories? As human beings would we be able to function as a society? We’d have no idea where we came from or where we are headed. We would have to rely on our instincts! Is this how people with memory loss feel? To look back and see nothing but blurs, it all sounds very tragic. When I went to India three years ago, half the time there was taken up by visiting people. I’m pretty sure we went to every house in that village. That day, my mom and I had one more house left to visit. We knocked on the door. No answer. We knocked again. No answer. We knocked the third time, and upon hearing the silence we realized no one was there. As we walked off the porch, a very old woman came out behind us. Immediately after seeing her, my mother was in tears. She went up to the old woman and hugged her numerous times. The hugs were not reciprocated. We didn’t end up going inside, just said our goodbye’s from the porch. Later, I found out from my mom that the old woman used to be like a second mother to her. Sadly, she was suffering from Alzheimer's disease. She didn’t remember my mom at all. More importantly she didn’t remember who she was. She couldn’t identify herself. Our identities rely on our memories, our memories complete us.

These memories are sometimes forgotten. These memories are mostly remembered. These memories teach us lessons. These memories last us a lifetime. These memories we will take to our grave.

Wow, it has been quite a long while since I've posted here, over two months now. There's just too much going on right now and I felt that I needed to let it out of my system before I completely combust! So where to begin?

Shall we start off with the agonizing and torturing school work I've been given? Well thank God I'm not alone in this because my friends are suffering with me too :] What's even worse is the fact that we are entering the much feared summatives and exam weeks right after the winter break. Though we start working on the summatives from now. What luck...

Speaking of winter break, I just can't wait for it. Not that I'm doing anything special but I'll get to finally RELAX! And yes I can't wait for all the Christmas sales. Oh how I love the holiday seasons for it's half off sales. It makes me feel so relaxed just thinking about it.

Another thing that's kept me busy is I guess DRAMA! Wow, there's a lot of that going on right now. Mhm, I'm really not going to expand on that because well it's personal matters and I'm not completely over them yet. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about all these different things.

Well I guess that's about it. Jeez, when you write it all out it seems like nothing, wish reality was like that. Alas, we wish for things we could never have... Anyways, I should get back to my English homework.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Sometimes I wonder how my life may have been like if I stayed close to my elementary school days. I mean those 'friends' were what made me into the person I am today. They taught me some great lessons, mainly on how to choose my friends wisely. They weren't all bad, actually they weren't bad at all. After all they did teach me a lot of things.

My very first 'best friend', was in grade 3. We were quite close. Everyday at lunch I'd be at her house because my mom would be at adult school. Those were some good days. I don't actually remember a lot but I miss our friendship. Everything was going well until the last few days of school before summer. Apparently, her sister swore at me and I got mad. Again I was only 8 or 9. We didn't speak for a whole year. Fifth grade came and I thought it would be wise to say let the past be in the past and move on. After that, I don't think we tried to mend our friendship. We were different people, with different friends, in different circles.

In grade four I made really close friendships with two girls. One was the daughter of a close friend of my mom's. We remain friends to this day, but of course not as close as how we use to be. We shared all our secrets, we also shared our first crush. What to say about this girl? She was one personality that comes once in a while. She was fun, outgoing, and just a lot of fun! Our friendship took a hold when she went to India in the 6th grade. She was gone for a whole year. When she came back, she'd missed a year of school and had to repeat grade 6 again. But we didn't forget each other but we weren't the same anymore.

She is the last of my elementary best friends. We had a lot in common. We'd talk for hours on the phone. I guess we grew out of each other. Nothing bad ever happened between us, only that we didn't see much of each other and just stopped talking.

Those were my friends. So for my friends right now, no I don't like them more then you guys. Even though they were friends, they were only special to me then. You guys will always be very special to me. Even if we're like countries away from each other, I'll still LOVE YOU!!!!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ever had those days where everything is perfect for one moment and just after a blink it's all over the place? Though I may sound like something 'awful' happened to me, but you know it can never be that easy for me. Things just have to have a deeper and more complex meaning to them. My mind was at ease, I was fresh, not hesitant, and had a very different outlook on life. And then school started...

You might be thinking, 'what is this girl talking about?' I'm talking about those stupid little feelings you get once school starts. Anxiety, mood swings, humiliation, and all those feelings that were left behind at school the previous summer have come rushing back to me. Am I the only one out there who gets wound up about school this way? It's not that i dislike being in school, actually I like to be in school, but i guess it's just one of those thing I have to get over.

Well that's all I have to say about my day. Nothing special ever happens around here. Sometimes I wish I were in Rome!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Have you ever been in a situation where you look at someone you haven't seen in a while and as you're looking at them you try to remember what their name is?

Today as I was waiting for the elevator I saw a few boys walk in through the door. They all seemed to look like one another and I suppose they were all brothers. In walks the last of the brothers and I suddenly realize I've seen him before. Not only have I seen him before but, I think we use to be good friends at one point. I look at him for a few more seconds. I think to myself, ' What in the world is his name? ' Then he turned around. I'm sure we stood there looking at each other for about a good 5 seconds. He probably thought to himself, 'Why is that girl looking at me?' So FINALLY the elevator came and broke that awkward stare. He left. Another elevator came and I stepped in. still thinking to myself, ' What was is name? ' , about a dozen memories pop into my brain. We use to sit next to each other in the 5th grade. We were always playing tag at recess. For some stupid reason we'd get most of our laughs by kicking each other in the knee. All these memories and yet I can't figure out his name.

Whatever his name maybe or whatever type of person he may have become, I hope for him to have all the happiness and joy he deserves!