Monday, September 21, 2009

ANDREW BREITBART DESPERATELY TRIES TO SUSTAIN THE HIGH

If you do powdered drugs, at a certain point you get a tad antsy -- you get worried that you won't be able to sustain your high. Andrew Breitbart has recently had the profoundly enjoyable experience of unleashing the ACORN videos on the nation and watching them become a moderate-sized scandal (and no, I wouldn't go further than "moderate") -- and now Andy wants more.

So he's saying LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME -- which I strongly suspect he wouldn't be doing (he wouldn't have to) if what he had next were going to have anything resembling the impact of his ACORN stories.

Mike Flynn and John Nolte, writers for Breitbart, wrote yesterday, in a post titled "Pregame Report: The NEA Conference Call,"

Tomorrow at noon ET, explosive new information....

No, really -- LOOK! LOOK! I desperately need the attention!

Is he going to have something? Oh, sure. The huge hint being dropped is that this will be in connection with an earlier story Breitbart broke, about a National Endowment for the Arts conference call in which it seemed that artists were being encouraged to work on the Obama agenda.

The NEA's communication director, Yosi Sergant, was reassigned after that story broke. (And Glenn Beck, not Breitbart, got the credit.)

But for most Americans it was a big yawn. Why? Well, the ACORN story had hot buttons for heartland America: Money! Hookers! Negroes!

But if there's an NEA story ... um, where's the sex? Where are the nude women smeared with root vegetables and naked guys with bullwhips up their butts?

Instead, what we're apparently going to get later today is something connected to this:

But, there is even a larger issue that hasn't yet received much attention in the press. Among the Obama Administration officials on the call were Buffy Wicks, Office of Public Engagement and the lead White House official on the President's Serve.Gov initiative to promote national service. Also on the call was Nell Abernathy, Director of Outreach for Serve.Gov.

Omigod! Not Buffy Wicks! If Buffy Wicks and Nell Abernathy go down, the Obama presidency can be measured in days!

Er, who the hell are these people? I'm part of the vast left-wing conspiracy, and I've never even heard of them. You?

Look, it's wrong if Serve.gov got politicized. But it's a venial sin. America doesn't give a crap about Serve.gov. Discipline or fire a couple of people and move on.

Ah, but no: Breitbart & Co. are going to tell us that this is all part of THE OCTOPUS!!!!1!!!!:

As Dana Loesch recently reported at Big Government, the Serve.Gov portal funnels citizens to volunteer or service projects connected with ACORN and other leftist groups. The taxpayer-funded website is evolving into a cyber-recruitment tool for the progressive movement.

It's the Obama Civilian Army! This is how Hitler started!!!! Glenn! Draw a really insane-looking chart!

Oh, good Lord. If Obama really were building a "civilian army," is that where he'd be starting? With artists? In America? Artists are the kids who got beaten up in high school in Iowa before they decamped to some big city or college town. No one in America gives a rat's ass about artists.

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Then again, the focus on artists might be Breitbart's obsession. After all, the ACORN story broke on his new site, BigGovernment.com, but for a few years he's been running BigHollywood.com, a site devoted to the alleged suffering of right-wing artistes, and the site has been much mocked and little quoted. (The current teaser is at BH, not BG.) And in today's Washington Times, Breitbart has an op-ed in which he tediously boasts about his brilliant technique for breaking the ACORN story ("Thus was born a multimedia, multiplatform strategy designed to force the reluctant hands of ABC, CBS, NBC, the New York Times and The Washington Post. Videos of five different ACORN offices in five separate cities would be released on five consecutive weekdays..."), and what does he call the piece?

Damn you people! I am Michael Moore! I am Karen Finley! I am making great political art!!!

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UPDATE: The big honking story is up now, and a glance at the "EXPLOSIVE" quotes from audio of the NEA conference reveals just about what I expected -- people you've never heard of not quite grasping where there has to be a wall between government and partisan advocacy ... and doing it in the dullest, least titillating way imaginable. This is what Breitbart thinks is going to make pulses race?

* "I just first of all want to thank everyone for being on the call and just a deep deep appreciation for all the work you all put into the campaign for the 2+ years we all worked together."* "We won."* "I'm actually in the White House and working towards furthering this agenda, this very aggressive agenda."* "We"re going to come at you with some specific asks here."* "I hope you guys are ready."

This is not smart at all, to be sure ... but as far as a real NEA scandal goes, where's the damn naked flesh smeared with yams?!