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THE TRIBUNE
oiro. p. huckkht
tailor and
Publish
ANN III R- HCCKEI1
RICH HILL
MISSOURI
It Is srducrlpg to Jcarn that th
JKika are exterminating the elk fur tb
tke cf Us teeth.
Iowa ha a young woman who cart
tbat she pan !! a mnn properly cn 8
ceuts a (lay. U she man to J?
It Is the privilege of the talker to
misquote. The writer haa to look It
tip iu the ilotlonary i f quotations.
Nearly ",0i0 books were published
In thla country Inst year. You didn't
read more than half of them, perhaps.
"It Is essential that a woman' armf
should bo pretty," sajs a fashion ex
pert. And that a min'i arms should
be strong!
A New York man who ftb hit
tome a pint of whisky haa been fined
J25 -preyuniaWj for wasting whisky
on a horse.
The weather bureau's monthly re
port has a learned dissertation on
"icean"temDT8ture. Everybody knows
what It Cleans.
The original of Dickens' "I.ittV
Don-it" Is tu; alive, at the age of to.
But sba has changed ao you would
carcely know her.
The Chicago poet who haa offered tc
write 5.000 poems for a dollar apiece
will be the envy of thousands of othei
poets If he get the Job.
Mrs. Chadwlck Is now raid to havf
SLOOO.OOO cached. The only urpr1
contained In this piece of news is th
emallnes cf the amount.
Thla Is certainly the age of blgthirc
as Is proved by the fact that a blotch
on the sun's face 80.000 miles Ir
diameter Is called tpot.
The soirlde who wrote to aa tinder
taker. "Lay this body on a shelf In
your back room and 111 Eft It later,
tad a grim notion of humor.
Carnegie Is to receive $1.50 a daj
for going to Cleveland as a witness
The possibility of his being able to die
poor la becoming more and more r
cote.
One would not rare, we should
thick, to go through a severe civi
service examination In order to bf
placed on the Russian grand duke ell
gible list.
If Herr Hoch had as much present
of mind as Adam had, he would put on
an Innocent look and declare that bf
wasnt to blame that all those womei
married him.
That French physician's "oystei
cure," requiring patients to eat l
dozen of the bivalves daily, should bf
a great thing for the health of th
oyster dealers.
If the garter purse Is generally
adopted It will become popular to tak
street car rides on the chance of see
ing a party of ladles quarreling about
who will pay the fare.
Down in Maryland there is a mar
who has the euphonious name ol
Freezer Fry. He oukM to live In St
Louis, where the people are under th
necessity of doing both.
The venerable Captain Adrian C
Arson says batting is a lost art. bu
the veteran Colonel John L Sulllvar
way be trusted to prove him wroni
by getting on another one.
Why should any one be surprise1
because P. T. Bamum'i autograph
sold for tlnee times as much as Hrj
Clay's? Henry Clay never ran such
big circus aa P. T. Itanium did.
Apparently the Russian student!
tUnk a temsky sobor will be entirely
too tame an affair to give satlsfactior
after the riotous times to which th
people over there have become ac:u
to iced.
The Baltimore professor who thlnkf
It would be wi ll to chloroform all trier
when they reach the age of 0 sayi
nothing about the women, probably
because he realize- that no woman
ever gets that old.
Apparently Mr. Alexander and hi
fellow-directors regard Mr. Hyde ai
too Krenchy and frivolous for th
presidency of a great life ineuranr
corporation. Query: Were they ta
vited to the 1 00.000 ball?
Fire in a New York theater. tb
ntfcsr dsv. caused a lot of chorus glrli
who were dressed only In tlfchts tf
rush to the streets. They are report
A ta have been greatly embarrassed
but most of them are glad now that It
happened. They can all demand lead
Ir.g parts on the strength of the ad
vertiising they got.
The Nashville American denounce
tho comic valentine with Its airocl
ties of conception" a a cheap, wit
has and spiteful abomination that it
stupidity condensed. That editor mus
l.cve nrelved a skillfully aeiecie
one.
A Spokane woman has secured a dl
Tone from her husband because bf
insist on squandering bis earnings
(!' I (1 IP in invent a flying machine lu
rttad of buying the necessaries of life
l..r 1.1 family. That woman fcta
let el head.
ROOSEVELT AND FAIRBANKS TAKE OATH
Thousands of Visitors
Greatest
rROCRAM.
IC:4S a. m.
President li ft White House for the
Capitol.
11:5 a. m.
President entered Senate chain
her. 12 Noon.
President pro tcm of Senate ad
ministered oath cf office to Vice
President-elect Fairbanka. who
delivered his Inaugural addrct.8.
12:30 p. m.
Entire assemblage proceeded to
stand at east front of the Capi
tol, where President Roosevelt
took oath of office and delivered
his Inaugural address.
2 p. m.
President returned to White
House. Grand parade followed.
7:30 p. m.
Illumination of city and display of
fireworks.
p. m.
Inaugural ball, opened by Presi
dent and Mrs. Roosevelt.
Theodore Roosevelt was on Msreh
transformed from president by
chance into president by choice; from
president through an assasin'e bullet
into president through the ballots of
the people.
Under the shadow of the gray-
domed capitol, gazing Into the placid
marble features of Oreenough's statue
of the first president, the twenty-sixth
president of the United State a wore
faithfully to execute the laws and to
preserve, protect, and defend th con
stitution. There were represented In the
throngs that had journeyed to the cap-
Hal to greet President Roosevelt men
from the North, South. East and West,
and from distant Islands of the seas;
from the Philippines, from Porto
Rico, from Hawaii from every land
where floats the emblem of the Re
public. In the great parade there rode
governors of states, both North and
South. The president's old rancher
friends, with lariat and chaparejos and
wiry bronchos, made strange contrast
to the stiff-backed, pouter chested
young men from the national military
schools. Rough Riders from San Juan
Hill, volunteers from Santiago, Jackles
from Manila bay shared the plaudits
of the multitude with modest, every
day soldiers, for whom the title Reg
ular Is distinction quite enough.
Political clubs from East and West,
militiamen from ' North and South,
blue-clad veterans of the sixties,
heroes of the Spanish-American war,
miner from Pennsylvania, the entire
legislature of the state of Tennessee,
the president's neighbor from Oyster
Bay all contributed to the national
character of the splendid pageant
There were waiting fur the presi
dent when he emerged from the white
house thirty picked men from the
Rough Riders under Gov. Brodle. With
the crack squadron A of the First
Cavalry. U. 8. Army, they formed his
escort to the capitol. As they swung
aiound the treasury building Into
Pennsylvania avenue a division of the
G. A. R. with Gen. O. O. Howard and
staff in the lead, which bad been
standing at salute, wheeled Into the
column, while the raralrymen checked
'their pace to accommodate the slower
footsteps of the aged veterans. A
mighty wave of cheers swept along
the avenue as the president's carriage
came In sight. Throughout the whole
route the president, with hat In hand,
kept bowing In acknowledgment of the
greeting. On his arrival at the capi
tol he was conducted to th president's
room, in the rear cf the senate cham
ber, where he Itesaa at once the sign
ing of belated bills. At noon he en
tered the abode of the senate to wit
ness th lnsttllstton of Senator Fair
bank as vice president. This cere
mony concluded, he proceeded to the
etaed on the east front of the capitol
to receive the oath from Chief Justice
Fuller and to deliver bis Inaugural ad
dress. Immediately upon Ita conclu
sion the prestdent was escorted back
to th white house, where, after lunch
ing with the official of the Inaugural
committee, he took hi position on the
stand In front to review the formal
tnauaurwl parade.
Inauguration Csrsmonlse.
Th broad plaza whose level surface
stretches sst from the national capi
tol ran accommodate an army. For
hour Washington poured Ita own pop
ulation and a vast Increment of vis
itors Into the front yard of the seat of
government. Eight acre of humanity
reread fan shaped from the focus
made by a little covered shelter, open
at the sides, where the president was
to stand. Over toward the Imposing
facade of the congressional library It
extended, literally a "sea of faces."
There may have been only to, (too;
probably there were nearer lfHi.ooo in
sight of the president when he took
te oath.
Throng National Capital to Witness tho Ceremony Procession tho
Seen in Washington Sinco tho Close of tho Civil War.
Th Imposing form of Associate
Justice John Marshall Harlan, who I
almost heroic In stature, was the first
to catch tho eye of the vast, crowd.
Flanked by th marshal of the Su
preme Court and the marshal of tho
plHtrlrt of Columbia, JuMioe Harlan
led his colleagues, garbed In flowing
robe of black, topped w ith satin skull
reps, to their seats at the left of the
tribune. After a brief pause, Count
Casslnl, the Russian ambassador and
dean of the diplomatic corps, mar
shaled forth the ambassadors and
.ministers of foreign countries.
Mrs. Roosevelt and Mrs. Fairbanks
were next escorted to seats Just out
side the tribune. The president' chil
dren were with Mrs. Roosevelt, and
Mr. Fairbanks' two sons, students at
Yale, and his daughter. Mrs. Adelaide
Tlmmons, were with Mrs. Fairbanks.
Mrs. Rooeevelt was gowned in a se
verely plain tailored suit of electric
blue; th'j round skirt was trimmed
In bands of Ilshtcr shade panne vel
vet, and the short, modish Jacket had
a vest of the panne braided In silver.
Mra. Fairbanks wore a beautiful dress
of brown velvet, trimmed with chiffon
and white ermine. Her hat and gloves
were also white. Vice President Fair
banks, accompanied by the secretary
of the senate and followed by the sen
ator and ex-senators, was next In
VICE-PRESIDENT
Inaugurated
order. Then came Speaker Cannon
and the bouse of representatives. The
Instant the tall form of the vice presi
dent appeared a swelling cheer burst
from the crowd. Mr. Fairbank bowed
repeatedly before taking his chair.
Secretary Ha and other member
of the cabinet were ushered to their
chairs, and at their heels came Ad
miral Dewey and Lieut. Gen. Chaff-.
Billow of cheers greeted Admiral
Dewey, and the hero of Manila bay
showed that he waa pleased.
The governors of state and terri
tories and the other invited guests
followed in Indiscriminate fashion, and
In a short time all waa In readiness
for the coming of Uie chief executive.
President Roosevelt advanced from
the door of the capitol. arm In arm
with Chief Justice Fuller. Instantly,
from all parta of lb eight acre of
humanity, arose a prolonged, tumultu
ous shout. Behind tb president and
hi white h sired companion came
James H. McKlnney, clerk of th su
prcrr.e court, bearing a ponderous
Bible. When the demonstration ceased.
Chief Justice Fuller, hi snowy lock
falling to hi shoulder, pronounced
the oath. President Roosevelt voice
wa easily audible at some distance
when he repeated the formal declara
tion prescribed In article II of the
Constitution : "I do solemnly swear
that I will faithfully execute the office
of president of the Uuited Slates, and
will to the best of my ability, preserve,
I rotect and defend the Coustltution of
the United State."
A second later he bowed ud
pressed hla Up upon the open page
of Holy Writ. Again erect, he faced
the pp!e, and for an Instant perfect
alienee held. A signal had been
Cashed from the dome of the cm pi
tol to the navy yard, whence came
the boom of a ten-inru gun, first of
JSSC J'; ;l
Iss.1 1. 111.0 sj X-1 1 i f sv i st, it i as i n a I bwss
Cashed from the dome of the capl- Ahead of tb parade proper Presl- I
tol to the navy yard, whence came dent Roosevelt and hi escort, this I
' the boom of a ten-inrh gun, first of time composed aolely of the Rough
THK PROCESSION IN PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE.
twenty-one. fired In honor of the newly
Inaugurated chief executive. The
tension was broken, and a roar of
leers resounded) fsr and wide acrosa
the plaza. For many minute th
Jangle of sounds rontinued before the
picsldent could find a chance to be
gin bl Inaugural address.
The conclusion of the address we
the signal for another ovation, dur
ing which Mr. Roosevelt rhook bauds
with nioet of the notables who pressed
about the tribune. Then he was es
corted back to the rotunda of the
Capitol and thence to the executive
clamber, where he held a brief recep
tion before leaving for the White
House.
Vic-Preident Sworn in.
Senator Chrle Warren Fairbank.
Oi Indiana, became vice-president of
the United States shortly after the
marble-faced clocks of the senate
chamber registered noon.
At that hour Senator Frye. presi
dent rro tern., hammered the marble
desk, and announced In set formula
that the senate of the Fifty-eighth
con reus was adjourned sine die;
then he Immediately called the extra
ordinary session of the aerate of the
Fifty ninth congress to order.
Mr. Fairbanks was forthwith ush
ered Into the chamber, the senate
member of the Inaugural committee
FAIRBANKS.
March 4, 1 JOS.
acting a hi escort. He proceeded
tc the rostrum, where Senator Frye
administered the usual oarh. The new
trice-president's first official act waa
to call upon the senate's chaplain. tli
Rev. Dr. Edward Everett Hale, to
pray.
Mr. Fairbank then delivered his
Inaugural address, and. at It con
clusion, he Instructed the secretary to
rrd the president' proclamation
convening the extraordinary session
of the senate. Next th new sena
tor were called to the secretary'
desk and took the oath.
President Roosevelt was then
ercorted bark to the executive cham
ber, adjoining the marble room, pre
paratory to going tp th east portico,
h.mself to take the oath of office. The
other distinguished visitor filed out
of th chamber In the order of official
precedence, and went to the seal as
signed tbem for th president cie
nooy. Th Great Parsds.
With atandards waving, guldlons
whipping la the breeze, and regl
ntutaJ color flaunting. Infantry, cav
alry, and artillery tramped, pranced,
std rumbled through historic IVnn
lvat)ta avenue.
Experienced observer declared
that th procession beat alt Its pre
decessors, even thst of McKlni.f s
stcond Inauguration. Not since the
review of th Federal arusy after the
Civil war has th Avmue s--n so
n any and such variety of soldiers
1 her were between thlrty-tbre and
thirty-fire thousand men In line. For
three hour the mobilization pro
gressed along First street. Pennsyl
vania avenue, and confluent street
about th Capitol,
Ahead of the parade proper Presl
dent Roosevelt and hi escort, this
time composed solely of the Rough
Rider and Squadron A, at a hrtsp
clip proceeded up tho Avenue to tb
White House, where tho president, af
ter bl lunch, took ponlilon in the
Kiarnl reviewing atand, surrounded by
member of his cabinet, the diplomat
nd other notable. Then, to the
blare of buglen, the big procession
started.
The first brigade was headed by
I !eut. Gen. Wade, In command of th
entire military nctlon. After him
crme the Fifth band, artillery corps,
stationed at Fort Hamilton, New
York. This waa first of forty bauds
in the parade. Sustaining their repu
tation of being the most perfectly
drilled body of troops In the world,
next followed the corps of cadet from
the United States military academy.
Naturally they divided honor with
the future admirals from Annapolis,
who marched Immediately behind,
dtessed In catty suit of navy blue,
the Jolly Jack-tar spirit fairly shin
ing In their boyu-h faces. Then came
the regulars, real enlisted men. five
hundred or the Second batalllon of
englneera swinging along behind their
cwn Land.
Then came the etate troop. To the
number of 14,000 they occupied nearly
two hour in passing a given point. In
otder to prevent dispute as to pre
cedence each state contingent cam
In alphabetical order, ao that Ala
bama, with a alngle company of be
Third regiment, led the way. Indiana,
Vic Preeldent Fairbank' home tat.
had only a company to her credit,
sixth la line, while th president
state. New York, with the largest
quota, three full regiment and aevcraj
separate bodies, totaling nerly 4,000
men. wa tenth in order.
Although soldiery wa the chief feav
ture, the civilian organization form
ing the aeoond section of the parade
showed up strong in number. March
ing la the open order affected by po
litical clubs, they spread all over the
avenue. There were abcut lS.Ooo in
line. They seemed to be passing aa
kutermtnaUe time, mostly wearing
top hats and twirling fragile walking
sticks.
Ohio, which usually manage to
make her presence felt, kept op her
reputation. She had In line the fa
mou Rail splitter of the Toledo Lin
coin club, the Tippecanoe club of
Cleveland, the famous singing organ
izations of Columbus, the Buckeye and
Republican glee club, the Knight ct
Maccabees and th Flelschmann Re
publican club of Cincinnati.
Th Spanish war veteran followed
the Q. A. R- veterans, there being
about I.wiu all told of these two ao
cletle.
The Ball.
Inaugural hall are the biggest so
cial functions that occur in America.
The evening reception at the Pen
alon building exceeded In grandeur i'.i
predecessor In th grot edlflce.
There were la the neighborhood of
1 :.i) person at the ball.
Mr. Rx)sevelt's ball gown was
made of a special weave of a new
shade of light blue silk with figure of
dove In gold tinsel. Th shade h
ben named "Alice blue." In honor of
the president's daughter, who select
ed the material at tho St. lxniis fair.
The dove, which are represented a
fljlng diagonally across the blue of
the dress, are of varying sizes, from
two Inches between the tips of tho
wing down to the size of a bee.
Mrs. Fairbanks wore a gown of
white satin duchease, embroidered
with rose of gold In the natural else
of the flower. The Uce trimming wa
of Brussels point d'applique, with a
design of bow-knot and marguerite
Interwoven.
The decoration of the ballroom
outdid anything that ever before ha
b4-o attempted. Wall, column, win
dow and every nook and corner were
covered with grevu and cut flower,
palm and fern, flag, banner and
bunting, so that th thousand of
guest might look with Interest upon
something el of beauty than dazzling
gown and glittering Jvwsls.
Th door of tbe Pension building
wer thrown open at I o'tWk. but
the president and hi party did not
arrlv until o'clock. They went Im
mediately to room specially prpard,
carpeted and decorated for their recep
tion, and a half hour later the grand
march commenced. President aud
Mr. Itoosrvell l.-sdln. All fvstlvltlea
closed sharply at mldnltiht, because It
aa believed best to Irespana no Sab
bath principle-. Thus the usual prac
tice of the president leaving at
nildnlKht ami Honing the hall over
to the populace to dance until day
break had to be abandoned.
Coucert will be given at the Pen'
klon office next -k, so that those
who do not sitend the ball may hav
en opportunity to see tbe decorations.
YEt. LOW CRUST ON BABY
Would Crack Optn and Scab Causing;
Trrlbl Itching Curad by
Cuticura.
"Our baby had a i How crust on M
head wiileh. 1 could not kerp away.
When I t hour. lit 1 had succeeded In
getting Ms bead clear, it would start
an.iln by the crown of hi head, crack
and sea In, and cause terrible Itching.
I then got Cuticura Poap and Olut
tuent, washing the scalp with the soap
and then applying the Ointment A
few treatment made a complete cur.
I have advised a number of mother
to us Cuticura, when I have been
asked about tbe same ailment of their
babies. Mr. John Doyce, Pica Bush.
N. Y
A Neat Complimsnt.
It is not always the critic who pul
verizes tbe poet. At a literary tiiruicr
the other day, the New York Tribune
says, two minor poet were heard la
conversation.
"I saw your villanelle In the Blank.
Magazine," said one.
"Did you?" said the other.
"Yes, and I heard rather a neat com
pliment passed on It by a young lady."
"What did she say?"
Th first minor poet Implied.
"Why," he replied, "she wanted to
know If I had written It."
Not Quit 8uch a Fool a H Looks.
Cholly So Miss Tartun loosened up
and said a good word about me, did
she?
Archie Yes; she said that when,
one got better acquainted with you one
found you were not half as big a fool
as yon appeared to be. Chicago Trib
une. IMPOSSIBLE AMBIDEXTERITY.
Speaker "I defy anyone In thla
audience to mention a single action
tbat I ran perform with my right hand
that I cannot do equally well with my
left.'
Voice from the Gallery "Put yer
left band In yer right-hand trousers
pocket!" Chicago New.
Foreigner: What Is the significance
of the eagle that Is stamped on Ameri
can money?
Unlter States Citiren It is the em
blem tf Its swift flight.
The marked-down ha'jit wss strong
In her. She had been telling her hus
band that her dearest woman friend
had made her feel so cheap.
"Uke SO cent?" he queried.
"Like she replied.
DERAHGDHERVES
DISTLUTSISij TROUBLES LEFT EI
ST. YTTU3 ASD GRIP.
TtTassaw A S IMI fc esrs hy gtrms(w
wits Wf NttSBbMa WsshSM-M
Hmm i'rM- tivsiiaw
When a! wa fuwrteen yswr old, Mrs.
Ma L. Ilruwa had St. Vitus' daoce.
Kb flually got over th zoos nototble
feature of th strange ailment, but wss
till troubled by very nncotufictable sen
sations, w hkrli she recctilly U-rriUd aa
follow :
' Oue Land, half of my face, aud half
of my tongue woultl get cold and numb.
These feelings would come on, last fur
about ten tuluutew, and then g away,
several time a day. IWules I wmid
have pftljuUDoa of the hrt, aud n v
strength would g t ao low tbat I could
hardly broath. A time went oh these
1 11 kept coining ofieuer and growing
worse. The uumboes would sotutlioxe
exletid over half my body."
" How did you get rid of tliem V
"It seened for a longtime as if I never
con Id get rid of tbem. It was ml until
liut six yearsatf') that I found a remedy
that ha1 virtus enough in It to twli my
case. Tltat was lr. lUiama' link I'll:
f-ir I'aJe Peple, aud the uavo aiuce en
tirely cured in."
Did it take long to effect a cure? "
"No t I hadu't taken tb whole of the
first bog leftT I saw a great improve
ment, hoi kept on nslng tbem, gmwin
better all lhUroe.until I bad tsJmo eight
boxe aud then 1 was perfectly weil, and
bar remained in aod liUU ever
aiuce with on exception.
What wa thai T" .
"Ob I that wa when I had th grip.
I wa in bed, under th doctor' rare,
for two weeks. When I got up I had
dreadful ettaeksof disaiuraa. 1 had to
grasp hold of s.aietMng ur I Would fail
right down. I wa Just miserable, and
when I saw the doctor waa Hot helping
ns, I U'gait tolak It. Williams' Pink
1M1 again. In a short time they cured
tiieof that troubl too, and I hav nsvrr
bad auV disy spell si nee."
Mr. Brown Uvea at No. 170.1 TVWilt
trset, Maltooii, Illinois. Ih Williams'
Pink Pill are without an eo,ual f-ir the
rapid and thorough cure of tirrvi.ua pros
tration. They Blel th poison left in the
srstein by such diseases a grip and are
tli bee! of totiii in all rM of Wiwk
iiCs. They are soid by svnry diuk'i.l.
Likely to Rmmbr.
Proud Mother You haven't kissed
the baby.
Bachelor Uncle Umcr I'll try t
remember next time. Ml kiss her when
er -coma back from Europe.
"When will lhat her
"I. me see. About sixteen years."
"He's out a good deal nih'. Isn't
he?" "He was last i.lkht,. I won a
hundred from LI in." Cleveland Plain,
!ealer.
Try m Just one and t an aur to
eouis again. iNlunot htfireh.
Quills never occupied a uio, promi
nent place In bat trWiinilmts. t lan now.
Sirs. Wliialnw's ,l.iM Svnm,
FINANCIAL NOTE.
"I met thst rleh Mrs. Nri-Mn to
day. And I roublnt lo ly ti.iiit.i:nj
"Ye."
" that sometime when morn t
U usee mi bad l.rlu;,,.ti.'Tu fe.