In the aftermath of a politically-tinged controversy, the days in which Hank Williams Jr. introduces Monday Night Football games with “Are you ready for some football?” theme songs have come to an end. Depending on who you believe, Williams either quit or was fired. Maybe both happened. But in any case, fans who are sick of the tired jingle came out ahead.

As we’ve said repeatedly, AnnualCreditReport.com is the good website to go to when you need to pull a credit report, because it’s actually free. The others, including freecreditreport.com, use the promise of free the way an angler fish uses its forehead-worm-thing to trap dumb little fish. The FTC has decided to fight fire with fire by releasing its own jingles. To be honest, we’re not 100% sold on them—they have kind of a squaresville, PBS vibe, which is gonna really hamper their viral power. Check them out below.

Nick Padmore at A List Apart has produced an extraordinarily nerdy and detailed breakdown of the various qualities of 115 of the most successful “copy shots” in advertising history—you know, those short phrases like “Where’s the beef?” (1984) or “Don’t leave home without it” (1974) or “it takes a licking and keeps on ticking” (1956) that you’ll carry with you to your grave, unless you develop some sort of “good” Alzheimer’s that only wipes out the commercial jingles part of your brain. (Somebody assign a stem cell researcher to that!)

Words fail to describe this Starbucked version of Jefferson Starship’s “We Built This City,” written for a Starbucks leadership conference last year. Luckily, projectile vomiting or rushing into your local Starbucks and kicking every one wearing a green apron in the crotch doesn’t. Thanks, we guess, to Adfreak for finding this.