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VOLUME 8. _SATURDAY MORNING* SEPTMEBER11% 18T4. ; "' ?NUMBEB^3
Coroner's Inquest on tho Body of
James W.Browning.
\ i - -
? jjitt 1 ? ??..?? ;>:
held at bamberg on sunday, 3?tii
august, 187-1, by 'oliver ?ewett,
trial justice, acting AS co ron er.
Information having been laid in this
case by F M Hamberg, a lawful jury of
inquest was duly summoned, composed
of the following persons, to wit : II J
Brabham, foremuu, lion. James M
V, .Smith, G Y Patrick, W E Patrick, J S
B Jones, J F Jones, W W Smoko,S T
Faiiy, Ilcury Smith, Andy Hamilton)',
Jack Jenkins, G A Bice aud Jerry
Thomas.
Tho jury haviug viewed tho body,
then lying iu a room of B F Slater's
store houso, and a post, mortem ol the
body having been made by Dr. J F
Boggot in the presence of the jury, the
following evidence was taken :
Dr. J F Baggot sworn : Have made
post mortem examination of the body of
James TV Browning, and am of opinion
that the said James W Browning came
to his death from a pistol shot wound,
tho ball entering the right breast, near
tho right nipple, ranging through the
?" lower lobe of the right lung
(Signed) J F Bacuot."
William L Connclley sworn : 1 do not
fcnow anything of the shooting of James
W Browning; was at Murphy's store,
and heard the shooting.
(Signed) W L CONNELLEY.
Brooks F Slater sworn : On Satur
day evening, 29th August, 187-1, after
?supper, James W Browning came inu>
my store, came bihind the counter, and
asked me for a pistol; I asked him what
lie wanted with it; he sajid that J W
Crum had threatened to shout hitn; I
?nvc him a pistol, a small sored shooter,
and I weut with him; we walked from
uiy storo up towards Dixou's storo,
agoing towards and along the rail oad
platform; when wo hud passed a mul
berry tree, near Dixou's, Mr. Crum
=ppokc. He (Crum) was standing right
by tho trc.c. Mr. Browuing had passed
: <he tree. Crum asked, "Who is that '{
Mr. Browning replied "it was him," tnxd^
turned around; 1 saw a Hash from ti
pistol in the hand td'Cruut; 1- recognized*
Mr. Crum from the light of the Hash of
the pistol; previously ldidu>t rocog
XX170 Mr. Crum's person, only by his
Voice; Crum was about four feet IVom
Mr. Browning when he fired; alter Mr
<Crum fired, Mr Browuing eith r struck
?Crum or pushed him; Crum feil, with
Mr. Browuing on top of him. Mr.
Browuing said as soon us he was shot.
"?He has killed me." I told him I d d
taot think he was hurt; a sccoti I shot
Was fired when M r. Browning was t n
Crum; I do uot know %who tired the
?fbot; after tho second shot, and while
n Mr. Browning was on too of Crom, I
I beard a pistol pocked; I got down ou my
?knee:5, and took a pi.-tol out of Crum's
?hand; it was cocked when I took it out
"Of his (Crum's) hand. The pistol 1 now
produce is the one 1 took out of Mr.
Crum's baud; AIr. Browning was nut on
Crum over a half minute?a very short
time; Mr. Browning got off Crum of his
own accord aud slrrted for my sto?-e; on
entering tho store, Mr. Browning re
pealed that "he was killed" more than
once; 1 told hiin "1 did not think he
?was." He went into tho back room aud
"sat on the floor;! got hitn on the be i; j
just as I bad got him on the bed, aud
Went back to the door, two other shots
were fired somo distauco in front of tho
?office; it was very dark during the time
of tho fracas; Crum wits in the shad ?w
of the tree. All of this happened in
the town of Bamberg on Saturday even
ing, August 29, A. D. 1874, between
the hours of 8 and 9 p. m., I think Mr.,
Browning died about five minutes after
he entered tho storo; I sent for Dr.
Baggot and he got there just us Mr.
Browning was dyiog.
(Signed) B F Slater.
Eduard F Slater sworu : At Bamberg
on Saturday evening, August"29, 1871,
about 8J o'clock r. m., I camo down
from FM Bambcrg's; I came to a "prido
of India" tree standing opposite to
Crum's storo; I heard Crum s iy some
thing about Mr. Fairy and Johu Smith's
fight; 1 beard him call both names;
Crum said "it was not so;" Mr. Brown
ing was present and asked if he meant
that for him; Crum replied "that he
could take it to himself;" Crum got up;
Mr. Browning was sitting ou the bench
in Crum's piazza; Mr. Hrowuiug had a
chair iu front of him, and when Crum
rose ho pickod up the ehair und pushed
hitn (Crurr) down with it; he (Crum)
apparently fell buck against the wall;
Mr. Browning ruu out of tho piazza of
Mr. Crum's btore around the corner of
Hartzog's store; as Crum got up Mr.
Browniug was running around tho cor
ner, as nbovo stated; Mr. Crum said:
"I'll be d?d if 1 don't kill Browning,"
ho (Crum) went into bis storo; J P
Murphy was standing outside of Crum's
Btore; Murphy said to"bim, "Dou't you
go down thero, Crum," Murphy had
reference to Crum's going down to
Frank Slater's storo; Crum suid,"I am
going down thoro toseotkogontl-i nan;"
be als? said, "I'll bo d~d if I dou't
kill him;" Murphy endeavored to koep
him from goiug; Crum started towards
Frank Sl.itor's store bareheaded, and
wont in the street towards Slater's, close j
to Isaac Licbmnn's piazza; I started bo
hind him; I saw Mr. Browning come
out of 13 F Slater's stove; Slater was
with him; thev came towards Licbmnn's
store; Crum, as he got opposite the inul
berry tree by Dilan's shop, stoppe 1; he
got behind tho mulberry tree; I stoppe 1
within about fifteen feet of hint; as Mr.
Browning got pretty close, I wont ab >ut
six feet, where Crum was standing;
when Mr. Browning got about four loot
from him, Crum said, "la that you,
Browning!"' Mr. Browning replied.
"This is mo." Ah soon as Crum said
the words, he throw the pistol right
against Mr. Browning and tired; Crum
had tho pistol in his right hand; he put
the pistol to Mr. Browuiug's breast and
shot him; as soon as Crum shot Mr.
Browning struck him and knocked him
(Crum) down, Mr. Browning exclaim
iing that "he was shot " I said to Frank
Slater, "I am d?1 if I an going t)
stand this;" I started towards Crum an 1
Browning; Frank Slater ran in bst.wco i
tnc and Crum and Browning; Frank gut
on his knees, and appeared to got h >ld
ol one of the combatants; I went to go
around Frank, but hcjumpe I up and
got between the combatants au 1 myself
Mr. Browning got up and slappcl his
bunds on his breast and said, "I am
killed;" Crum jumpcl up an 1 started
off, and got about thirty lest; [ started
oil towards Frank Slater's store with
Mr. Browning; I wheeled and ran after
(.hum, an I said I was n it going to I t
him get away Ab .tit that time Mr.
Browning and Frank Slater got on the
stoie stops; 1 was ab tut forty feat from
them; Mr. Browning said,"I am going
to lall;'* I went back to them, an 1 went
to the room with Mr. Browning an 1 |
Frank Slater; Mr. BroWnhi r went to
;ecl on the bed in the room, but fell on
tho side of the bed. I said, "Frank, put
hiui on tho bod I'll git t!i i d ictor." * I
ran out and. sent two oolore I in iu to go
ofrdr the d ?et ir I asko 1 three or fo ir
eol >rod men standing outside tho d i ?r
to help nie ca'ch him. I scat one of
them to tell F M Bamberg that Mr
Crum had ?bot Mr. Browning. I was
not .present wlion Mr. Browning dim!.
^Signed) K F Siarocn
William J Jones sworn : Am a resi
dent of tho town of Himburg. On
Saturdiy cveuiiig, 2'J h August, IS71,
aMcr supper, hoi ween S and ? o clock, I
left home and went to Frau'c Slater's
store; I left his store an 1 went 11 Mr
Cruuiai store; when I got there 1 luir I
J V Murphy trying to quiet Crum. lie
told him "not to hive any l\m; n it to
I do that " Ho apparently was trying t >
pacify ('rum. My curiosity was excited;
I looked und saw Crum have ?* pistol in
his hand; ('rum walked out of his store;
Murphy said, "l can do nothing with
you," and Murphy loli; Crum started
towards Frank Slater's store; ho walko I
a little below Mr. Dixon's shop, and
said, "Is that you, Browning ?" Mr. J
Brown ng replied, "This is me," o ?
words to th it effect; on the reply, Mr
Crum fired; Mr. Browning, I think, f, 11
to his knees and rose, and I think struck
Crum. who fell with Mr. Browning on
fop of him; Mr. Browning exclaimed'
"He has killed mo," or words to tint
effect; Crum got up and left. About
twenty stops trom where the fuss ocur
red, and iu the direction that Crum
went, two pistol shots wore fired, but I
do not know who tiro 1 them; I heard
only one shut tired when Crum und Mr.
Browning got together; am positive of
that; when .Mr. Browning wont iu the
room he asked me to pull off his shoes
and to put so nothing under his boa 1; 1
searched for a pistol; Mr. Browning did
HQt have one then; I si v Frank Slater
at the shooting; \V II Green was noir
me at tho tini* of the shooting; both of
us loft the store of Cram together,
when Crum and Murphy wero talking
at tho store, from their conversation I
was made aware that Mr. Browning
was tho man meant by Crum, aud
whom ho was angry with.
(Signed; \V J Jones.
State of South Carolina,
Baiinyvem. County.
An inquisition indented, taken at
Bamberg aforesaid, the thirtieth day of
August, A. B. eighteen hundred and
seventy-four, before O.ivor Hewitt,
Fi.sq , trial justice, acting as coroner.
Upon tho view of the bo ly of James
W Browning, then and there being dead,
by the oaths of H J Brabham, forooiin,
James M Smith, O Y Patrick, VV F
Patrick, J S B Jones, J F Jones, \V
W Smoke, S F Fairy, Henry Smith,
Andy Hamilton, Jack Jonkius, O A
ltiou and Jerry Thomas, being a la.vful
jury of inquest, who, buiug charged and
sworu to mquiio for the Stato of South
Carolina when and by what means the
said James W Browning canio to his
duuth, upon their oaths, do say :
That the said JJ YV Browuing camo
to hia death by being shot iu the right
breast, uoar the right, uipple, tho boll
rouging through tho lower lobo of the
right luug, said wound being iuflictod
by a pistol ball, shot from a pistol in
the hand ot'J NV Crum, in the town of
B?mberg, botwoju the hoars of 8 und U
o'clock, on Saturday evening, August,
tho twenty ninth, A. I), eighteen hun d
red nnd seventy-four; and so tho jurors
a!bresa:d, on theiroaths nforeviid, do say:
That, the aforewtiid J W Browning was,
iu manner und form aforesaid , by the
said JW Crum, then and there felon
iously killed, against tho poi3?aud
digni y of tho sami State aforesaid.
In witness whereof 1, Oliver liewitt,
trial justice acting coroner afonesiid.
and the jurors aforesaid to the inquisi
tion, have set our hands and seals, tho
day and year aforesaid.
(Signed) olivkr IIeWITT,
'J'rial Justice, acting Corot or.
II J Brabham,.foreman : Jas M Smith,
G Y I? trick, W V Patrick, J S I*
Jones, J P Jones, \V NV Smoko, S T
Fairy, II \V Smith, (-.J A ltice, Andy
x Hamilton, Juck x Jcnkcns, Jerry
x Thomas.
Story of a Postal Card.
A prominent merchant in St. Josoph ,
Mo , J. B. Johnson, Ksq., has got hi*n
self into trouble, the postm i-t,>r of St.
Joseph into trouble, the postmaster of
Chieago into trouble; and the .-ver n
ment of the Unite I Status iuto trouble
all "rowing out of a bit of pasteboard
with some writing on it.
Some weeks ago Mr. Johnson, hav
ing occasion to ord >r s ?.tu g in Is from
Chicago, paste I a label about the size of
a postng! stun;), bearing his business
uddress, on tho postal card.
The Chic igo corresp indent received
tho card in due time, but had to pay
six cents extra postage, aud so notified
M r. .I ubiisou .
As the hitter had been in the habit
of postiug these labels for so no time and
had never before been called noon f,r
extra postage, he causultod 'lie post
master of St. Joseph, Mr. Aluholdt
about it.
Tbo latter authority informed him
that ho had a right, to label the cards
and could continue to do so 'vith sifoty,
unless the cards were going to Chieago,
whose postmaster didn't underst'uui tho
aw.
Thereupon, in a happy frame of mind
Mr. Johnson uddrcssed a card to tliJ"
Chicago house in his best handwriting,
and; withn feeling of exultation, n-r
umphnntly and iu a bold baud wrote
these words:
'Our postmaster saya your postm ister
is an ass.'
'J'he Chicago postmaster forwarded
the obnoxious postal ear 1 to Washing
ton
Mr Cresswell put ou his spectacled
au I read tbo St. Joseph postmaster's
I pithy .opinion of the Chicago pistmis
tor.
The sesult of the reading was a postal
card from Mr Cresswell to the St Louis
postmaster which neirly lifted the latter
functionary out of his boots, ami made
him realize as he had never done b'o'bra
how frail the tenure of a post mister may
be.
Thereupon the postmaster called up
on Mr Johnson, and informed him tint
he had never said the postmaster uf Chi
cago was an ass.
Mr Johnson brushed up his memory
and after awhile, ooncluJc 1 t!i it he w is
mistaken iu the language he used; and
gave his postmaster a statement to that
effect.
This relieved the postmaster
He forwarded the statement to Mr
Cresswell, and once more felt secure in
his office.
But it did not end here, for on Th?rs
day lu-t an order came for the arrest of
Mr Johnson for using .scurrilous Ian
puhgeon a i ostal card, and that night
he wits arr :sti d
Thus for the sake of a litile business
label about the size of a dostage stamp
the St Joseph merchant got into a dilti
oulty with the St Joseph postmaster and
the Chicago postmaster; got the St Jo
soph postmaster and tho Chicago post
master by tho cars; got the St Joseph
pCBtiiiustcr iuto trouble with the govern
ment, aud has got himself into a tight
place, iu which he may have, to pay from
8100 to ?1.000, or go to jail and stay
from one year to ten years before he can
extricate himself.
Sundry 31 tit tors
If there is no insurance upon the
barn, one should bo procured without
delay. The vapor from a barn ful of
new hay or grasn is ono of the best, co i
ductor of lightning. Batho tho while
body with cold water every night, and
rub briskly with a dry towel. This
brings refreshing sleep, aud conduces
to health. Uive the men and boys a
bucket with soap and towels , that they
may do the same. They will work tho
better for it.
A married lady, who is in the habit
of spending most of hor time in the
sosiety of her neighbors, happjuel t? be
taken ill, and sent lur liUib.ml in groat
haste for a physician. Thebusbaul
ran a short distance, and then returned,
exclaiming, ".My doar, where shall I
find you when 1 come back?"
Honor Your Calling.
It in a good aign when a man is proud
of hiiV-vvork. Yet nothing is more com
mon lhau to hear men finding fault con
stantly with their particular business,
and deeming themselves unfortunate be
cous.c,,;fastened to it; by the nccjssity of
gaining a livelihood. In this spirit, men
i'rccj Vind laboriously destroy all their
comfort in work.
Occasionally, a man fails in lifo be
cause' he is not io the place fitted for
his peculiar talent; it happens ten times
oi'lencr that failure results from neglect
and even contempt of an honest busi
ues.vj'*' A man should put his heart
into everything that ho does. There is
not a profession iu tho world that has
not its peculiar cares and voxu-.io is. No
man will escape annoyance by changing
business. No mcchuuical business is
altogether agreeable. Commerce, in its
endless varieties, is affected like all
other human pursuits, with trials, u;t?
welcomo duties, and spirittiring necessi
ties. ..It is tho very wantonness of folly
for a man to search out the frets and
burdens of his calling, and give his
mind; cv.ery day to a consideration of
them. They belong to human life.
They* arc inevitable. Brooding, then,
only gives them strength.
Oil' tho other hand, a man has p
p >woif. given him to shed beauty an I
pleasure upon tho humbles toil if he is
wisc.VLct a man adopt his business,Hud
identify it with his life, and cover it
with! pleasant associations. For Heaven
has given us imaginat ions not alone, to
make some men poets, but. to enable all
men: to beauli y homely things Lrmk
at good things. Accept your lot as a
Miailj' docs a piece of rugged ground, and
begin to get out the rocks and routs, to
deepen und mellow the soil, to enrich
and plant it. 'i hero is something iu the
most forbidden nvouution around which
inay twinc pleasant fancies, out of whio h
may he developed an honest pride.
A man can impart to a business a
flavor of honor by his own conduct,
which shall make it hereafter more cred
itable to any one who enters it. Frank
lin left upon the printing office an im
press which has bcuefittcd the profession
of printers ever since. Blacksmiths
-liiViVXtn gpeak of. the uticunoni/.ed Flihu
Burrrtt. Oneo lot. a man convert his
business into an instrument of honor,
boiievo'ene : and patriotism, and from
(hat moment it is transfigured, and men
judge its dignity and merit, not, by what
it externally is, but by what it has done
and can do. It is better to stick to
your business, and by patient industry
und honorable enterprise to crown it
with honor, than to run away from it,
and to seek prosperity ready-made to
your hand. It is not what a man finds
that docs him good, but w hat he docs.
' The Hood old Times"
\Ye shall hear from a thousand
stumps tho Democratic clamor fir a ro
turn to.'tllC good old times.' M any a
hungry .politician will hear the sound
and believe it the promise of the good
time when the cry. '1 am a Democrat!'
will open to the faithful tho fattest
offices of the land. No doubt Tweed,
the dethroned king of Tammany, as he
sits with stripped suit and shaved in
his forced retirement anil moralizes over
the degeneracy of the times, looks for
ward to tho hour when the Democratic
wau l .-hall open his prison doors aud
reinstate him iu the political kingdom
which he lost Wo have no desire to
welcome tho return of the 'good old
times.' Wo have had enough of them.
They cost us over $3,030,000,000 and
over half a million lives. Wo are doing
our best to repair the injury, au I hope
iu less than it score of years to wipe out
the list Iraco of Democratic misrule.
We have reduced tho debt nearly ?100,
000,000 in I) little over five years, and
shall continue its reduction until ever
cent is paid. But wo protest against
the retu.ru of tho times which forced
this burden on the nation. Once in a
thousand years we might enduro a like
experience, but to go through it again
during the present century would tix
good nature beyond tho point ol endu
rance. We might live through an epi
demic, bo tranquil over tho escape of
Tweed; read the details of tho Brooklyn
scandal every day in the year, but noth
ingshort of u direct interposition ol
l'rovideuce could make us submit with
cheerfulness to tho good old times of
Dcmocrney. May the sacrifice ucver be
culled for.
A pig was born recently in Columbus
with a half human face aud head, per
fect chin and mouth, signs of u large
tusk on ono sido of the mouth, und u
perfect elephant's trunk extended from
the forehead, with cars similarly shaped
to those of an elephant. It will bo uu
interesting fact to psych dogists te know
that a circus h id passe 1 through Coluui
bus somo months before this pig was
born, and that there was an elephant
with it Tho maternal sow may have
scon tli3 clophuht?hcuuo the ubovo
monstrosity .J
The Fellow that Looks Like Me.
Max Adder, who writes for a Phila
delphia paper, has a frieud named Slim
mcr, who deserves pity. He was goiog
up to Heading not long since, and
when reaching the depot he happened
to look in the lady'3 room. A woman
sat there with a lot of baggage and
three children, and when she saw Slim
mer she rushed toward him, and before
he could defend himself she threw her
arms about his neck, nestled her head
upon his breast, and burst into tears.
Slimmer was amazed, indignant, con
founded ; and ere ho could find uttcr
auce for his feelings, she exclaimed ?
"O, Henry, dear Henry! we are
united at last. Are you well 1 Is
Aunt Martha still alive ! Haven't you
longed to sec you; own Louisa ?"
And she looked into Slimmer's face
and smiled through her tears.
"Madam," said he, solemnly, "if I
um the person alluded to as Henry, per
mit me to say that you have made a
mistake. My name is Lemuel, I have
no Aunt Martha, and I don't own a
solitary Louisa. Oblige mc by letting
go my coat; it excite? remark."
Then she buried her bonnet deeper
into his waistcoat, and began to cry
harder than ever, and said ?
"O, Henry, how can you treat me so?
How can you pretend that you arc not
my husband?"
"Madam," screamed Slimmer, "if you
don't cease slopping my shirt bosam,
and remove jour umbrella from my
com, I shall bo obliged to call the
police. Let me go, 1 say."
'?The children are here," she per
sisted. "They recognize their dear
father; don't you, children ?"
'?Yes, yes/' tliey exclaimed, "it's pa;
it's our own dear pa."
And then they grabbed Slimmer by
his trowscr legs aud hung to his coat
tail.
"Woman !'' he shrieked, "this is get
ting s.eri>.tis. Unhand me, 1 say."
And ho tried to disengage himsc If
from her embrace?while all the brake
men aud the baggage master, and tho
newsboys stoid around, and said his
conduct was iul'amous.
In the midst of tho struggle a
stranger entered with a carpet bag. He
h.okod exactly like Slimmer?and when
he saw his wife in Slimmer's arms be
became excited, and floored Slimmer
with that carpet-bag and sat on him,
and smote his nt.se, and caromed on bis
head, und asked him what he mornt
Slimmer was removed ou a stretcher,
and the enemy went off with bis wife
aud family in a cab. lie called next
day to apologize. His wife had made
the mistake beeaeso of Slimmer's like
ness to hitn. And now Slimmer wishes
he may soon be kicked in the face by a
mule, so that he will resemble uo other
human being iu the world.
-? \utu . - . ?1 . .
How They Finally Got Married.
One long simmer afternoon there
came to Mr- Davidson's the most curi
ous specimen of an old bachelor the
world ever heard of. Ho was old. gray
wrinkled and od 1. Hehnted old wo
men, especially old maide, nnd wasn't
afraid to say so. He and Aunt Patty
had it hot whenever chauco drew them
together; yet still he came, and it was
noticed that Aunt Patty took unusual
pain with her dross whenever ho was
expected.
One day the contest waged unusul'ay
strong, and Aunt Patty left in disgust
aud went oat into tho garden.
?That boar; she muttered to herself as
she stopped to gather a Dower which
attracted her attention
'What did you run for.'' said a gruff
voice behind her.
'To get rid of you ?'
'You didn't do it, did you ?'
'No; you are worse than a burdock
bur.'
'Von won't get rid of me, either.'
'I won't eh V
'.Only iu ono way.'
'And that?'
'Marry mo.'
'What! us two fools get niarriod !
What would people say ?'
'That's nothing to ub. Como, say,
yes or no; I'm in a hurry.' >
Well, no then.'
'Very well; good by, I shan't come
again.'
'Stop a bit?what a pucker you'ro
in.'
'Yes or no!'
'1 must cousclt?'
'All right; 1 thought you wcro of age.
Uood-by.'
-??<??>-.??? anM?i
"Would my little Ezra, askod a fond
mother, "like to be a missionary, aud go
preach to tho suffering heathen ?"
Tears?bright pearly drops of fooling!?
gliatencd iu little Ezra's eyes as bo iiiur
mured : "No, I wouldn't; but I'd liko
to bo on tho pcrlicc long enough to put
a tin roof ou the big luuiuiux that stuck
shoemaker's wax bu my seat to-day at
school."
?11
According to Dr Mag in, no oigar
smoker cvor committed suicide.
Useful Information.
; llhub?rb jloaycs Scattered arotmd will
k'illand drive away crick its.
To clean marble, rub first with soda
and soft soap, then wash ?s usual with
water. <j
. 3 i i ? 11) . 1 . .1
Tlie fumes of a brimstone match will
rcuiove berry stains from a book, paper,
or engraving.
A little black peppar in some cotton
dippied in sweet oil is ono of tho quick
est remedies known for earache.
To rcmovo iron rust from linen, ap
ply lemon-juice and salt and expose to
the gun. Make two applications if nee
cssary.
Simply bind chips ^of wood, four or
five inches long, to tho hen's legs, leav
ing only the hip joints in working or
der, and this will euro her of sotting.
Calves do not injure a.n orohard, but
usually improve tho fruit by picking up
the wormy fruit as soon as it falls, and
thus destroy tho insect eggs. 'Calves
seldo n are inclined to gnaw the bark
or to injure even small trees; they will
sometimes rub against the trees, but
could do no damage uule33 to tliG3o new
ly set.
A Boston Negro's Opinion of Beoch
er.
Rev. DoWitt Talmago tells the old
story hnre again; how, a few years ago,
he walked iuto a Presbyterian church
in Boston. As he entered, a colored
sexton, now attending the colorod con
vention in Saratoga, bowed and said ,
'Have a scat, sah V -Plenty of saats
di.s mornin', sab.'
'No, 'hank you, can't stay but a. xud
meut Just stepped in to see tho church
What is the name of the clergyman ?
Can't see very plain.'
'That, sah; is Kcvarand Henry Wad
Bcccha, sah !
I 'Fine preacher, isn't he?' reiumod
Mr. Talmage.
'Well, sab. peoples has dificront no
tiona 'bout preachers?'
'But ho 8000)3 quite animated/
?Yes, sah; cousib'blo animated,' ?
'And appoara to havo talent/ . j
'Well sah, as I said afo, peoples has
such different notions 'bout preachers.
Par's some dat tinks he's mighty goad
on do words. I tink mysolf he's a far
man, sah?a very far man sah; but not
of the prima facie class. He's a good
man, sab?a well meanin' man, but not
a talented man. He's a New York man
sah.'
A gentleman at Lake George, after
waving his handkerchief for half an
hour or more at an unknown lady, whom
he discovered at a distant point on the
shore, was eucouraged by a warm ro
sponso to his signal to approach his
charmer. Imagiuo his fcolioga when,
on drawing nearer, ho saw that it was
his own dear wife, whom he had left at
the hotel but a short time before.
"Why, how remarkable wo should have
recognized each other at so great a dis
tance," exclaimed both in the same
broath, and then they changed tho
subject.
If your sistor fell into a well, why,
couldu't you rescue her 7 Because
you conldu't be a brother aud assist her
too.
Not ono of the many balloon ascen
sions made this sumtuor has produced a
fact to confirm the notion of a steady
easterly currents in tho upper air.
Don Piatt says shrewdly; ,Humor
is to a newspaper what a tail is to a
kite?very absurd but very necessary to
its ascension/
Hair brushes with musical boxes in
their covers aro tho latest invontion.
A cockney says they will play a hair
while you are brushing your 'air.
For removing grease spots from any
fabric, use ammonia, nearly pure, then
lay white blotting paper ovor tho spot
aud iron lightly .
A 6tudent of auatomy says he has
not yet beon able to discover tho *bono
of contention.' but ho thinks it must bo
situatod near tho jaw boucr
'John,' said a father to his son ono
day when ho caught him shaving the
down off his upper lip, 'don't throw
your shaving water out whon there aro
bare footed boys, for they might got
j their feet pricked,'
Wo'often hoar ol pooplo who aro too
poor to marry, but a California couple,
who had becu engaged for eomo time,
married because they could not afford to
keep two scparato rooms in a boarding
house
A lad who borrowed a dictionary to
road returned it nftor ho had got through
with tho remark: It was werry nice
reading, but it somehow ohauged the
subject worry often.' It was his sister
tor who thought the first ioo oroam oho
tasted was a lcctle touched with the
frost.