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Can’t tell you how sad I am. I’m posting this while laying in my bed listening to sad country music.A Fourth of July with no fireworks is like watching a basketball game with no African-Americans. Sure it may still be semi-enjoyable but you won’t see anything too impressive.

It hasn’t rained in texas for like 20 years so my favorite miniature WMD’s are illegal in almost the entire state.

If you didn't know, the red is bad.

The annual Austin Symphony Performance followed by a massive display of fireworks at Auditorium Shores in Downtown Austin has been cancelled. When they announced that there wouldn’t be fireworks, the symphony was like “who wants to just sit around and listen to classical music in the dark on the 4th? That’s a little gay. We’re out, we’re gunna go get drunk on the lake.”

To my followers in other states, please blow something up for me today ❤

Please throw some black cats in a neighbors mailbox.

Please shoot roman candles at that “friend” you hang out with but don’t really “like”.