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Though about as far as possible from Detroit both geographically and culturally, the amphitheater formerly known as Pine Knob has been an institution in terms of summer concerts in Southeast Michigan for decades. Love it or hate it, most people have a Pine Knob story, and it usually involves one of these characters:

1. Dancing man covered in oil, wearing only suspenders & shorts

This is a real thing, not some sort of Pine Knob version of el Chupacabra. Affectionately referred to as "Suspenders Guy" -- he’s kind of a legend and can be found gyrating upon strangers at nearly every Pine Knob concert since the dawn of time. We’ll have what he’s having.

2. Sunburned goth kids

3. The half-day skilled trade worker

Probably hailing from Highland or Waterford, he took the afternoon off from hanging and painting Sheetrock in order drink Friday-style in the Mötley Crüe parking lot. Usually covered in paint and likely to pick a fight.

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4. Rednecks from Up North

Apart from four-wheeling, possum’ callin’ tournaments and a few festivals involving banjos, there’s not a whole lot that goes on Up North in terms of aural entertainment. Thus, there’s nothing like a Toby Keith concert in Clarkston to stop traffic on I-75S at Zilwaukee.

12. Solitary Cougar

13. The "I Only Sit in the Pavilion" Music Snob

For some people, the rich cultural biome of a "Pine Knob" concert is enough to warrant $15 lawn tickets and a chance to glimpse a wrinkly rockstar’s face on the big screen. But for purists -- usually the kind of guys who have become guitar virtuosos in their basements for an audience of cats -- no concert is worth going to if you can’t sit in a sonically controlled environment. Give them surround sound or give them death!

23. The Cell Phone Moviemaker

His friends will really appreciate all the dimly lit videos with unrecognizable sound that he uploads to Instagram. No, really.

24. Sleepers on the other side of the hill

Probably went a little overboard on the Little Caesars and White Zinfandel.

25. The solitary person with an enormous picnic blanket

You know, the one who says she is "waiting" on "friends" who aren’t actually coming. There’s no shame in going to see Bryan Adams by yourself, lady. Make some room for all those lovers out there.

26. Friendly housewives at the concession stand

In need of a part-time job to get them out of the house in the summer, they are excited to be surrounded by people -- unless it’s Ozzfest day, in which case you’ll feel their judgy eyes and the overwhelming sense of how glad they are that their kids didn’t turn out like you.

27. The Sweaty Hipster

Flannel. Wool hat. Skinny jeans. Suffering through a $9 macro because that’s all he could scrape together from the seats in his band van.

28. Out-of-their element Juggalos

He’s got a hatchet-man tattoo and half-sweated off face paint; she’s wearing a black and orange tutu with striped-knee socks, both are wishing they were at the Gathering instead.

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