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No Shame

I used to be a bunny rabbit with sex in my younger years. I couldn’t have enough of it. I even was guilty of two guys in one night when Gary lost the air in his sails one evening. I literally got a text from Jase whose ringtone was “If you’re horny..”while I was straddling Gary and his limp dick. HaHa. I got dressed so fast to say goodbye to Gary and head over to Jase’s place. I was a bit of a sloot back then. No shame. If one wasn’t enough or didn’t satisfy me, I was always up for another go around. I loved sex.

In my seasoned years, I haven’t lost my love for sex, but I have learned that quality is better over quantity. Yes, majority of women could have sex whenever they wanted. We have the cookie jar. We have the V-card. I used to be such a cranky bitch when I was going without sex. It would only be a few weeks or a month. You would have thought I was dying of that dick hunger. The thirst. However, I now go three to nine months of no sex and I am perfectly okay. Granted, I do put my toys to good use in that timeframe. I am human. Everyone still needs an orgasm a day to keep the grumpiness at bay.

I recently was on a five month sex hiatus. I then got some vitamin D in my life. You would typically think that once you have that itch scratched you would be good to go for a while again. Nope. Not the case with me. I ended up being friskier than ever. The dick awoken Miss Lucy the ‘Cookie Monster.’ I found myself squirming from the desire to have an orgasm at least once every day. It was like a fire inbetween my legs of heat and wetness. No one wants to see a broad squirming in their pants. There are just too many options as to what the problem is with her down there. Most of them are not cute because no one thinks women get that frisky.

Another reason that I could never have my clit pierced. I am frisky enough with my pants rubbing down there. I would be a walking orgasm if I got my clit pierced.

Anyways, I was getting myself off before bed, in the morning, after work, and I even thought about it when I went home on lunch to let the dogs out. Lawd, child, calm down Cookie Monster.I was getting ready to go meet one of my girlfriends for food and drinks and got the urge. I was all dressed and ready to walk out the door. I turned around and headed straight back to my room for a quick “O.”

It is crazy to think one fuck could turn me back into the energizer bunny that I once was in my life. Maybe, I will get lucky enough to find a firefighter to put out that fire ::wink, wink::Until then, thank God that sex toys are now rechargeable or I would be burning through some double A batteries like no ones business.

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Have you ever wondered if you left a lasting impression on someone or made your mark to be remembered? How do you even go about leaving that kind of mark or impression on someone? Is it out of your control? Lezbehonest, no one wants to be forgettable.

I started talking to a young, southern stud over a year ago. Keaton did not live in Florida, but he was in the state every so often for work. He was ten years younger than me but that doesn’t matter when its sexual attraction. We kept in touch over a year. We would text, Snapchat, and sext. I definitely gasped when he sent me a picture of his dick. It was a beautiful and big. It was the kind of dick picture that made you want a cigarette after seeing it. It was fun because it created pent up sexual frustration between us.

After a years time went by, Keaton was in town for work. I was going a few months of no sex. He told me where he was staying while in town. I wasn’t sure if I should seize the opportunity. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Why the hell not?!’I was factoring in my hiatus from sex, his big dick, age and if I could successfully ride that stud.

My girlfriends basically smacked some sense into me. I decided I would go to his hotel, but I needed some liquid courage. My friends and I started ordering shots while I was tossing some beers back. I had a solid buzz on and the time seemed to be now or never, so I ordered my uber. Yes, I ordered an uber to take me to have sex. I got to the hotel lobby and asked the man behind the desk where to go for Keaton’s room. He handed me a map. Oh, this was going to be a fun excursion finding his room drunk. Therewere groups of men standing around in the parking lots whistling and so on. I felt like a hooker. I found extreme humor in this situation. I finally found his room.

Keaton greeted me shirtless with a big smile. I’m pretty sure I was immediately wet. ::Whew:: He was thankfully drinking and offered me a beer as well. We all know first times are better drunk. We bullshitted for a little bit until he took matters into his own hands. He pulled me into him and started kissing me hard while running his hands over me. Clothes started flying off. The next thing I knew he was pushing that big dick in me. Lawd, baby jesus, I thought I saw the light. It was that good hurt. We rolled around for a while before finishing. We laid there for a little bit. I attempted to get up and start putting my clothes on when he grabbed my arm and said, “Where do you think you’re going?” I assumed we were done. I was wrong. Keaton pulled me back in bed on top of him. We went for round two. It was just as good if not better than our first go around. Our sexual chemistry was amazing!

I looked at my phone to find my friends were blowing me up. I looked at Keaton and so badly wanted to stay in that bed for round three. Yes, he was ready to go again. However, I knew I needed to get back to reality and meet up with my friends. He kissed me one more time on the lips and I kissed him goodbye on his forehead. I got in the uber to head back to my friends. I walked into the bar and they all started clapping and cheering. Fucking dicks. Ha.

The next day, I woke up with my right boob hurting really bad. My nipples were extremely sore. I figured that was going to happen. I went into the bathroom and turned on the light. I looked down at my chest. Holy Shit, there was a huge bruise on my right tit. You would have thought that someone used it as a punching bag. It was already gnarly looking in less than a days time. I wasn’t even mad about it. I was impressed. Keaton and I were so into the moment that I didn’t feel any pain. I sent him a picture of the mark he left me. Poor stud felt so bad. I emphasized that it was truly okay. It was an awesome sex battle wound.

It was humorous since I could not even lay on my right side to sleep. I had to go up and down stairs carefully. Any bouncing motion sent pain through me. I learned that it is very difficult to keep big boobs from bouncing. Keaton left his mark alright along with a lasting impression. He’s welcome to bruise me more next time he comes through town ::wink, wink::

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If you do not plan on eating your fish for dinner, you would catch and release it. You can use this same idea for having sex. This type of sex is not for everyone. There are many people who are not comfortable with a one night stand or mid day rendezvous. I find it exciting to indulge in it every now and then. Different strokes for different folks.

I tend to go on Tinder when I’m bored to swipe through the men deck. I typically do not look at their details. It is for shits and giggles. Well, I matched with this 22-year-old. Lets call him Charlie Conway from the ‘Mighty Ducks.’ He was a good-looking guy. His beard made him look a little older. We exchanged a few messages. It was nothing serious. Charlie ending up messaging me the following day to find out what I was going to do for the day. I told him I was going to the beach with my friends. He mentioned that we should meet up. I dismissed the message and closed the application. I was looking forward to a day with my friends, soaking up some rays and throwing back some beers.

Jude and I walked up to the tiki bar on the beach to order some drinks. I noticed a guy sitting with a group on the other side of the bar. He looked familiar. Hmm. I opened Tinder on my phone to Charlie’s profile. I asked Jude if he thought the guy at the bar and on my phone was the same person. Jude thought if it wasn’t the same person then they must be related. I messaged him to confirm our thoughts. He wasn’t picking up that I was at the same place as him. I heard him say, “The chick from Tinder. She’s 32.”Come on now. I messaged him and said, “Stop shouting my age like a football score!” He looked shocked and told his buddies that I heard them. They all started looking around for me. I waved with a smile. I owned it. I walked over and talked to him.

I quickly learned that Charlie was in college, on the hockey team, and flying out later that evening to go home. This would be the perfect opportunity for a catch and release afternoon delight for me. Yes, it also would make me an official cougar since he was ten years younger than me. Ain’t no shame in my game. Him and his one teammate kept saying they needed a shower before heading to the airport. Jude knew what I was thinking without me saying anything. Jude signaled for me to go for it. It would make for a good story. I invited Charlie and his buddy back to my place for showers, beers and food. Charlie asked me to join him in the shower. I stripped down and jumped in there with him. We started in there and finished on my bed. It was pretty good minus the end. I told him to cum on my chest. He must not shoot the puck often on the ice because he shot wide right. I luckily sensed his poor aim and turned my head. Whew. I saved my hair. We got dressed then Charlie and his buddy left for their flight. My friends and I grilled out then watched a scary movie. It was a successful day.

What were the chances of running into Charlie that day. There are probably quite a few of you judging me. That is okay. You get to read about it because I lived in the moment. I did not think I would hear from him again since he lived in the northeast. I was wrong. Apparently, the younger men think they are entitled to receive pictures after they have sex with you. They also do not understand that most people do not have a catalogue of naked pictures saved on their phone to send out on a whim. It is quite comical. I did save the best part for last. You may think I came up with his character name due to him being younger and playing hockey. That contributed to it, but he had a tattoo of the ‘Mighty Ducks’ on his ass. Charlie definitely worked the flying V angle.

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A BIG“Hello“ to all of you that follow or take the time to read my blog! It has been just a little over a year since I started blogging. I have a little under 50 followers. There are 82 posts up on my site and 60 comments. I do not write all the time. I would like to start being more consistent. It is a slight roller coaster ride. I developed such a passion for writing while obtaining my bachelors degree at Duquesne University that I wanted to find an outlet for it. The majority of you, who know me well, know why I chose the blog topic. There is humor, honesty, and real feelings in my writings on here. This blog is not for everyone. There are people who like to keep what goes on in their bedroom behind closed doors. There has never been any shame in my game.

This hobby of mine helped me figure out what career I could see myself flourishing in the very near future. I am currently studying for the GRE that I am set to take in November. I will hopefully be starting grad school next fall in ‘Rehabilitation and Mental Health Counseling’ program with a concentration in ‘Marriage, Family and Sex Therapy.’ I have been in the healthcare industry since 2007. I learned that I am not built to be a corporate person. I do not like being put in a box because corporate people hate not being able to categorize you in life. I have never been able to fit in a box. My personality colors outside the lines. A therapist would be the perfect fit for me. I would be able to help people. That is what I want to do. It feels great to be able to be there for someone and help them. Those are all reasons that flow into coaching volleyball. I love being a coach. You get to be a role model for young kids. You teach them skills in the sport and in life. It is hard work growing up as a girl. There are mean girls, emotions, and life that get in the way.

I used to think that after high school people were adults and grew up. I quickly realized that not everyone grows up. There are women in their 50’s and 60’s that still act like children.Do you get upset over these types of people? No. You cannot live your life for other people. You cannot please everyone. You would kill yourself trying to do it. Not everyone is going to be a fan of yours. There will always be a small section of people waiting to see you fail in life. Your job is to focus on yourself and the huge crowd of people rooting for you. See the positive. Ignore the negative.

This year alone..

I had one person using another one’s identity to message me on Facebook. I told the real person that they had been catfished. I blocked the fake account and went on with my life. A month later, this person then found their way to my blog and tried to write a nasty gram on here. I spammed their comment and moved on.

I had another person leave a comment on my blog about being a bigger girl. I took that opportunity and posted their message on my social media to show how sad and unfortunate some people are in their lives.

I recently heard their was a group of ladies bad mouthing me in Pittsburgh. I left that city over three years ago. Why would my name come up? What is there to even say about me? Do they not have anything else to talk about? I have not thought about those people let alone the time or care to talk about them. I had someone there to stick up for me and shame them for their child like antics. They lived to tell about it since I am now writing about it.Ha.

I may have let those types of people have control over my feelings when I was younger. Now, I am in control of how I feel. Those ladies talking bad about me did not make me look bad. They made themselves look bad. It is humorous and sad that they are lacking that much substance in their life. If you have that much extra time on your hands, you should go get another job, hobby, or help with a charity. The negative, hateful Trump’s in the world are holding us down as a society. Imagine if these people took that time and turned it into something positive for their everyday life. I try to live the mantra of PLUR. The world would be a better place if everyone tried to see the light in others and took each day as an opportunity to make a positive impact on it.

I am a compassionate and honest person. I am the type to send out birthday, anniversary, and thank you cards. A letter in snail mail has a big impact. It is nice to receive something other than the every day bills in the mail. Someone gets married, has a kid, or loses a family member and I am the person to send them a card or a gift. My one good guy friend in college lost his sister. I sent him flowers. My other good guy friend lost his grandmother in college. We sat around passing a bottle of Bacardi 151.Did I want to drink that?No, but I did it anyway. Another good guy friend was in the city for the holidays while everyone else was with their families. I took him a couple of plates of food from my family dinner. There was a group of girls that bullied me in Pittsburgh. One night, one of those girls was hammered and left by herself at a bar. I knew she lived somewhere on my route home.I had someone help me carry her to my car. She passed out in my car, so I had to call a mutual guy friend to help me find her house. I woke her up and helped her into her house. Did I have to do that?No.Would she have done the same for me? Probably not.Did I expect a thank you?No. Why did I do that? Because that is the type of person I am at heart.

I have done some things in life that I would have done differently today. I cannot go backwards in life. I can only go forward. We all sin differently. Those mistakes, falls, bumps, sins and so on help make us who we are today. I am human. I am not and will never be perfect. I can only hope to learn and grow as the days, months and years pass. I have one full-time job. I also have one and sometimes two part-time jobs. I own my own home. I have lived in different cities. I have made lots of friends that turned into family along the way. Some of those people left such lasting impressions on my heart and soul.

I have and always will be bluntly honest. That is why this blog is fun to write. It is pure honesty with some fun humor and serious undertones. It is a way to connect to people. There are other people out there that have had the same experiences or are going through them. So thank you to all of my followers, friends and family that have been supporting me on this fun journey. I would also like to thank the negative people who try to throw bad energy my way. It truly tests people’s characters on how to deal with those types of negative vibes. It helps me sit back and reflect on how far I have come in life. I appreciate all of you! And here’s to another year of writing. Stay tuned!

With Love, Britney Leigh 😉

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How many people actually know what vestiphobia is without looking it up? I never even knew it was a phobia. Vestiphobia is a branch off of claustrophobia. It is when a person feels suffocated by anything on their body. Clothing especially tighter material triggers anxiety or even a full-blown panic attack. It goes all the way down to woman’s bra and panties. Majority of us would think wearing clothes is more of a comfort than being naked. A lot of people are truly self-conscious about their bodies. Some of them would be happiest wearing a burqa or maybe a potato sack. However, if you have vestiphobia, you prefer your birthday suit for all events.

A coworker of mine at work yesterday had her bra in her hand at the end of the day. I had a perplexed look on my face. Kirstie advised me that she is claustrophobic of tight clothes. I was not sure if she was feeding me a load of bullshit or not. She told me that she had not worn underwear since before her first day of kindergarten. I am sure the little boys in school loved looking up her skirt. They got a peek at her pikachu.

Kirstie said that anything on her body at any point in a day can cause her to have extreme anxiety that leads right into a panic attack. It gets to be so bad that she feels like she cannot breathe. She goes home every day after work and puts on comfortable, loose-fitting clothes. She feels much more at ease. I can agree with that. I love sitting on my couch in my underwear after working all day. No snail trails though. That is unacceptable. Kirstie has a hard time getting through a full work out in the gym because of how her sports bra makes her feel. She also cannot really handle cuddling because it makes her feel claustrophobic. Her boyfriend is not a fan of her phobias. You would think most men would love a girlfriend who preferred being naked and did not want to cuddle. Kirstie admitted she is okay at being the big spoon. The little spoon is what makes her feel claustrophobic. Granted, a broad being the big spoon does not make the middle of the night slip it in sex easy to accomplish.

People with this phobia might be better suited in a nudist colony. No shirt. No shoes. No problem. Matthew McConaughey may even have vestiphobia since he enjoys playing conga drums on the beach in the nude. I would put vestiphobia in the same category as sexomnia only because not many people have heard of it or experienced it to be able to believe it is real. The world could be a better place without the restrictions of clothing. I would venture a guess that people who live near a beach are happier in life wearing swimsuits majority of the time. It would be less friction, less stress, and less worrying about what you are going to wear each and every day.

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Anyone can have sex at anytime. It depends on how much you want it or how desperate you are for it. You could truly love sex. I have heard of people using Tinder as a bet to see who could get laid before 2:00am. I have always been a “in the moment decision” type of person. I went nine months of no sex by choice. I could have very easily of had sex with someone in that time. I was actually going to see if I could make it a full year at that point. I was interested in becoming a born again virgin. Ha. ::clean that slate::

I started the sex hiatus after douche bag Bill. I went through some medical scares. I was over men at that time. I wanted nothing from them. I was perfectly content with my double A batteries. I realized that I made it to nine months. I was surprised that I made it that far. Did I miss sex to the point of wanting a random pickle in my jar? No.Did I think about sex? Yes. Everyone enjoys sex. It is human nature. I even had my one guy friend, Jaxon, just cuddle and lay on me once during my hiatus, so I could feel the weight of a man on me. ::queue Sex and the City quote:: I have come a long way from my young twenties. The old, younger version of me acted on every Energizer Bunny impulse. The seasoned broad that I am now is more selective on the produce that enters the store in-between her legs.

I made it to nine months of no sex. I started entertaining the idea of going a whole year. It meant my Miss Lucy was tight and right. Sharon Osborne supposedly said she had vaginal tightening surgery done to her. You could go the easier route of indulging in no sex and ben wa ball exercises. The thought of making it to a year was ended by one of my gorgeous Ron Burgundy friends. Grayson and I met three years ago through one of our mutual friends. I had a boyfriend at the time when him and I first met. When Peter and I broke up, Grayson and I started text messaging and snap chatting one another. It was so easy to talk to him. It was even easier to sext with him. We were both pretty good at exciting one another. This went on for two years between us. The build up of sexual tension was beginning to be wound up tighter than Joan River’s face. It was fun to fantasize about the day we would finally get to feel each other’s naked bodies.

That day happened when I was on my hiatus. He was in town for a gig. We were exchanging messages throughout the night. I was definitely feeling pretty good. Alcohol gave me confidence and took away my nerves. Okay, okay, I was drunk. It probably was better for the situation though. Two years of sexual anticipation had a lot to live up to. It started to pour down rain. I showed up to his hotel room drunk, frisky, and wet. There was polite chit-chat before we started ripping each other’s clothes off. I am pretty sure my Miss Lucy was drooling at the sight of him and his big dick. Whew. The first thrust was the most titillating sensation I have felt in a long time. The thought of it right now gives me the chills. Lord, baby Jesus. I remember him saying a few times how tight my vahjayjay was when he slid in and out of me. Nine months of no sex and kegels truly paid off. We went a few rounds. It was salacious.

I still laugh thinking about how drunk I was that night. At one point, I remember I sucked his balls in my mouth like I was the powerball machine. :: yells 35, 23, 18:: All bets are off when I am drunk. Ain’t no shame in my game. He left me with some lovely markings to remember the evening. I had to wear fashionable scarves for a week to work. Do you think I was bummed that I did not make it to a year of no sex? Hell no. That was worth every bit of the two years we had in conversations and pictures. It was one hell of a way to end my nine month sex hiatus. He can pokemon my pikachu any day.

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Do not lie to yourself and say you have never been a hot mess. Everyone has had probably more than one night they thought they could party like a rock star. It happened to me a lot in my younger twenties. I threw back shots like they were going out of style. It was always a good time though.

One of those times, I was down with friends visiting Cameron at his college. We were getting into bars since we were 18 years old. My girlfriends and I split from Cameron and his friends. We wanted to go to a different bar. It was never a big deal since we all would end up back at the house together. The girls and I made friends with one of the bar managers. We did an absurd amount of shots. I do not know how I could walk let alone do a cart-wheel on the sidewalk as we were walking home. Granted, I did fall on my ass and my tube top came down. I sat there laughing so hard at myself. My girls came over to pick me up. Katie told me to put my boobs away as she pulled my top back up over my chest. My memory is a little hazy from that point. I remember being up in Cameron’s room in bed with him fooling around. He went to do something and I told him to stop. I said, “Cameron, I still have my tampon in!” He told me to go to the bathroom and take it out. I said to him, “I am too drunk. I can’t get up.” I was a hot mess. He stepped up and took one for the team. Cameron reached down and pulled my tampon out. He then threw it into a shopping bag. We went at it like business as usual after that situation.

I am sure Cameron really wanted to get laid that night. We all have done things that are not desirable in life. My one girlfriend was so drunk and needed to puke, but she could not make herself puke. I stuck my fingers down her throat to make her puke. It is not something you do for random people. We all have over indulged and threw out the word moderation. Sometimes we get lucky enough in life to have friends step up and be true friends when we are riding the hot mess express.