Career Opportunities For Losers and Lazy People

Wiping down the poles at the strip club

With this job you can get in the strip club for free and be around all those beautiful women. Just try not to creep them out with stories about your ant farms and spider collection.

Here’s some advice if you get this job try not to scare people with your stories about your favorite insects. No one cares. Do not speak to or try to touch the women without their permission. Do not sniff the pole before you wipe it down. Do not kiss or lick the pole after the women get off the scale. Do not say things like “Hey Candy you left the pole really clean tonight, unlike peaches who always leaves her bodily fluids all over the pole.” If you follow these rules you’ll be okay. Matter of fact try not to make eye contact with anyone and say as least as possible.