I didn’t watch the Emmy Awards last night. Honestly I can’t remember the last time I did watch the Emmys. It was probably when I was producing Laura Ingraham, and had to watch all the awards shows to edit the most ridiculous bits for the show. That was a couple of jobs ago now.

The Emmys, the Oscars, MTV’s awards show for videos that MTV doesn’t even air anymore…it’s all about the 1% televising their self-congratulation. I caught up with DVR’d Falling Skies while the Emmys were on.

So last night during the Emmys, Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara did a cute little bit where a bore from the awards show droned on while she stood on a rotating platform looking like, well, herself, so everyone would pay attention.

In case you don’t know who Sofia Vergara is, well, here.

I’ll probably get in trouble if I post any more, but you get the idea. She’d catch the eye of a drone circling overhead at 15,000 feet. And she’s out of your league.

So she does this little bit on the Emmys, which makes fun of herself and also makes a little fun of TV, the medium that the Emmys are all about. Not a ROFL funny bit, but harmless. Anyone who doesn’t think that TV is more about appearance than anything else is kidding themselves. Even on Falling Skies, Noah Wyle’s Tom Mason character is complex and great, and Wyle plays him well. But the producers wouldn’t have hired a homely man for the lead in that series. They didn’t hire an average woman to play his wife, either, they hired Moon Bloodgood. Who looks like this.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fine actress.

Vergara’s pedestal joke was self-referential and harmless. Unless you’re the left’s scolds. These people are incapable of getting through a day without getting outrageously outraged about something.

The gag was immediately slammed on Twitter and some news sites: “A very troubling turn,” wrote HuffPo. “She was treated like a literal object,” fumed Jezebel. “A bizarre, objectifying Emmy moment,” headlined Salon.

Yet when asked whether the stunt was sexist and demeaning, Vergara shot back: “I think its absolutely the opposite. It means that somebody can be hot and also be funny and make fun of herself. I think it’s ridiculous that somebody started this—I know who she was—who has no sense of humor [and should] lighten up a little bit.”

The same people cheer when entertainers go out of their way to slam America or offend, say, Christians. So, you know, they’re just being babies.

As Mollie Hemingway and Ace point out, the same people who are blasting Vergara for her charming and harmless little joke are all about the “empowerment” of Beyonce strutting around on stage wearing barely anything in a sexualized stage performance that’s ultimately aimed at teenage girls.

Both Beyonce and Sofia Vergara have become very powerful women in entertainment, in similar ways: They’re both scorching hot and have talents beyond their looks. Did Beyonce have any more or any less say in her act, than Sofia Vergara had in hers? That’s unlikely. They both know what they’re doing.

It would be nice if the scolds of the left could at least be consistent. But that would take away the advantage of surprise, I guess.

Bryan Preston has been a leading conservative blogger and opinionator since founding his first blog in 2001. Bryan is a military veteran, worked for NASA, was a founding blogger and producer at Hot Air, was producer of the Laura Ingraham Show and, most recently before joining PJM, was Communications Director of the Republican Party of Texas.

The woman on the pedestal is obviously attractive, but the sketch was unfunny and boring. Beyonce's performance was something akin to what you'd see on a cruise ship. Admittedly, I'm not exactly in their demo, but she rakes in a lot of dough so who am I to criticize?

This is not a requirement. That's because whatever they believe about Beyonce is right and whatever you believe about Sofia is wrong. The same principle applies to all progressive beliefs. They're not interested in consistency. They're interested in being right.

Consistency means you occasionally have to agree with the other side's point - for consistency. Being right means you never have to concede a point to the other side, because the other side is always, by definition, wrong.

So all this talk about consistency and hypocrisy and double standards is pointless. Different game. Different rules.

Thanks for the beautiful pictures. Now, go see her shine in Dave Barry's Big Trouble, one of her early appearances on the screen, and an excellent comedy. With just one nuclear weapon. Also with Tim Allen, Rene Russo and Zoe Deschanel, if that matters. Now go watch it!

No, I did not know who Sofia Vergara is, but now I do. Thank you. Really, thank you. She is indeed out of my league. Way, way out. But as a wise man once observed, one of the elements of happiness is not getting everything we want.

Probably more than Obama at this point, Beyoncé can do no wrong in the eyes of the media. She could have beheaded one of her backup dancers during her performance and they would applaud her for it. The femanazis at Jezebel, Salon, etc. do not understand humor. What Sophia did WAS A JOKE. They missed the point completely.