Hello:Have returned to severe anxiety breakdown . Usually don t medicate but recently started generic remeron , 20 days, trying to cut already. Am Xanax survivor. Am now middle aged. Have lot of fear. Was doing well last few years til more stressors n's triggers occurred again few months ago. Think have separation anxiety, abandonment fears. Have CFIDS too. Argh Feel fragile and needy and at times am strong. Had bout in hospital, mental health, which never has helped. This time had horrid depression and insomnia too. Grasping for hope again.EOMid age female :)

My "severe" anxiety started when I was working on my Ph.D. 10 years ago. Before that I had a couple previous panic attacks and was definitely "high strung." In 2003, I was teaching 5 classes, taking my last 3 classes and working on my dissertation. I was also taking care of my two small kids; my husband had a full time job and was in the army reserves, so a lot fell on me. I started getting numbness in my right arm and was sent to many different doctors and given so many tests. No one, even not myself thought it was anxiety because I was fine and then all of the sudden I was very sick. I saw neurologists, rheamotoligists etc, was put on trazadone by the first neurologist. He didn't explain why and I was honestly so freaked out I didn't ask until I started having severe side effects ( which tightened the muscles in my neck and left me with a permanent headache for 3 1/2 years. Another neurologist put me on Neurontin to help the severe headache. I didn't help the pain and I gained 50 pounds, went from a size 6 to a size 18 in 2 months. I took a semester off school and got off the Neurontin. Kept the weight and the headache and began searching for another doctor. My neurologist was convinced I had fibromyalgia and sent me to a rheumatologist who didn't agree. I was kicked back and forth to so many doctor until finally my gp sent me to a school psychologist to help me deal with pain. She was convinced I had an autoimmune disorder and secondary anxiety. She sent me to a psychiatrist who was so perplexed by me that he sent me to another who finally diagnosed me with GAD and PAD and somatoform disorder. Essentially my anxiety manifests through body. By this time I was having rolling panic attacks throughout the day and was in so much pain from muscle spams, and really strange neurological symptoms like burning feet, electric like shocks and headache. She put me on Topamax which almost immediately started helping my headache and a low dose of klonopin. By this point I had been suffering for over two years while I struggled to complete school. The combo of Topamax and klonopin really helped. Within a year and a half the headache was completely gone. It's been almost eight years since I was diagnosed, I still struggle with panic attacks and GAD. I finished school 7 years ago and as weird as it sounds, very few people know what I went through. I forced myself to ignore the pain and I think that made it worse.

I am twenty six years old, and I over the past few months I have developed a certain phobia that my GP called carcinophobia. Which I would say is a specific form of hypochondria. Next week I will have my first appointment at the psychosomatic department of the local hospital and I could not be more nervous.

All my life I had been nervous whenever I felt something was wrong with me, or that I might be sick, and whenever a trip to the doctor was necessary I suffered from extreme anxiety. But all has changed after a very nice vacation a few months ago, during which I knew that a girl I knew had a brain tumor. After reading a few articles online about brain tumors and what the symptoms can be I was convinced I had a brain tumor, even though I had no specific symptoms, not even headaches. And that’s how it started.

Over the next weeks, I rushed as much as 6 times to the ER or to my GP convinced something was wrong with me: lumps on my back (lipomas), unequal pupils (physiologic anisocoria, confirmed by 4 different doctors) and finally having a side of my abdomen bigger than the other. That was when my GP told me that this has developed to a phobia and confirmed to me that I had been suffering panic attacks (I did not know they were called such, when someone shakes all over, heartbeat goes over the ceiling, feeling of dizziness and nausea…).

In December, I took an appointment at the psychosomatic department, which will be in a week. During this time I suffered from a normal cold, which convinced me that I had leukemia, lymphoma or throat cancer because of the relatively enlarged lymph nodes and tonsils. Despite the assurance from my GP that the size of my tonsils/lymph nodes was not concerning, I could not believe her. That is when she prescribed anti-anxiety pills for me to take twice a day.

Knowing that I have a phobia, does not make me less scared about being sick. It does not make me believe that there is nothing wrong with my body, and that is my main issue. I am hoping to find help, and maybe some support from people with similar problems in this forum.

Hi I am 24 and from the UK. I started with anxiety about a 1 year ago, a few months after my Dad died from bowel cancer (aged 47). My anxiety is mainly about health I am very rarely ill, I don't even get colds (neither did my Dad) so therefore any small symptom I have I blow out of all proportion and assume it is the worst case scenario e.g pins and needles = MS, cramp in one leg= DVT, abdominal pain= appendicitis, you get the idea. Th irony of it is I have spent a lot of time over the last year wishing I was dead yet when I think I am ill with something that might kill me I have a panic attack, I think it is the thought of having an illness that will ruin your life or cause a slow and painful death that I am actually anxious about. I also have a fear of being left alone, which as I spend the vast majority of my time being alone, is not ideal. I know this stems from a time when away at University, living alone and somebody tried to break into the house while I was in it the police were called but never came. Before my Dad died whenever I was left alone this anxiety would manifest itself as Bulimia but since I have gotten control over that it now just causes panic attacks. I have never been to see anyone about anxiety, my local GPs generally shove you out of the door with anti depressants which I don't want, I have tried to talk to my mum about anxiety (she used to be a nurse) but she just tells me I am obsessed with being ill and need something to occupy my mind, which is correct to some degree, If i have something to focus on anxiety does not manage to creep in as often but once it gets a hold of me I can't concentrate on anything else. I am so sick of feeling terrified and alone I just want a my life back.

I don't really know when my anxiety first started. For a long time I thought I was, well, crazy. Things would happen (really silly things like my girlfriend wouldn't reply to me for an hour) and too many thoughts would go through my head for me to even process and I would just freak out. I have a tendency to hit and scratch myself and sometimes pull my hair while I'm having an anxiety attack.One night, when on ***** with my girlfriend, her sister walked in an interrupted us. I threw the laptop away and scratched my face so much that I had to claim a dog had jumped on me. The scratches stayed there for around three weeks.Things like that kept happening. Anything and seemingly nothing could set me off. I found it impossible to sleep, I would just lie in the dark and all I could think of were bad things that could happen, money, how much I'm wasting my life. I'd lie there until around six AM when I would finally crash, then I'd wake up again at two PM mad at myself for wasting so much of the day.I am a recovering self-harmer (which started when I was twelve, I am nineteen now), and one day I got scared that I would harm, and I really didn't want to. I just couldn't stop crying and it was all I could think of to calm me down. Anyway, I called NHS24 who told me to see my GP immediately (or any doctor available at the time) and to call them back if I couldn't see anyone today. I managed to get an appointment and the doctor told me she thinks I have anxiety and an "inability to process emotions" (which I still don't really understand) due to the fact that anger seems to be my go-to emotion, even when there's no reason for me to be angry (like, I should be disappointed, but instead I'd be angry). She told me she would refer me to counselling for cognitive behavioral therapy as she said drugs would only mask the problem, not cure me, which is what she wanted to do.It has been weeks and I haven't heard anything, so I'm now suspecting that maybe I am just crazy and she wanted to get me out of there.

I grew up in a happy household , great parents and now I am also a dad. Reason for reaching out is I now realize early in life that I suffered from panic attacks but was always able to cope and I "snapped" back into being "normal". I only noticed it starting to affect my day to day life when my wife got pregnant and I started to have acute lower back pain. At the time I didn't put the two together. I tried the chiropractor , x-ray , nothing worked I was in tears for months. Then my wife went through a very successful no complication labor. I should of been happy but that's when I had a severe panic breakdown. I didn't sleep for the first three weeks of my daughters life , I was scared to hold her and I was in a constant panic where my heart would not stop beating painfully and I even at the time wish to die....hurts bad to say this......I was unable to go back to work for months and felt crazy. I eventually went to the DR. and was put on a AD and went to weekly counseling. I eventually was managing and went back to a stressful job and I thought I was a healed from this pain.

Now 4 years later after working under an extremely stressful job I start to go numb again unknowingly a few weeks ago and suffer the worst panic attack to date. on the verge of hospitalization I went to a psychiatrist for the first time last week. I am a week on new meds and i have been off work for a week now with another to go........in the middle of the storm right now fighting my way back.

My anxiety started about 5 years ago. I was 24 and had just finished up my second semester of nursing school when I had my first anxiety attack. I also had a hubby and 2 year old at home that I was trying to care for. I went to my GP and she put me on cymbalta -- it didn't work for me so I requested to try prozac -- after about 2 months I started to feel better and finally was feeling like myself again. Fast forward 5 years, a second child, and 100lbs of weight gain and I decide I need to get healthy and get off the prozac as I have done well for the last 5 years. About 3 weeks after weening off the prozac I suffered an anxiety attack in the middle of the night (I always get them at night?!) so I immediately started back on my prozac and started seeing a counselor. It has help some but I am still suffering the physical symtoms of anxiety. Once day I do well and the next I am a wreck. This past week I had to do a week of night shift orientation with Friday night being my last night. So, Saturday morning I came home and slept for 4 hrs and got up and went about my day. Had a nice relaxing evening with my hubby while the kids were at a sitter. Then I came home and went to bed -- I couldn't sleep -- I was having feelings of numbness and weakness in both my arms that was keeping me awake but not actually the racing thoughts of anxiety I usually have so I was confused as to what was happening -- so, this morning I went to the weekend clinic to see if I could have my labs drawn and make sure there was not electrolyte imbalance or dehydration -- while I was there the MD seemed really concerned after I told him my story and wanted me to have an MRI to r/o MS and to check me for Lymes disease -- all the while fully crediting the fact this this all could be anxiety but he wanted to be sure an rule all else out -- this made me feel better and anxious all the same time -- happy he was being thorough but anxious because of the possibility of MS!!! I am really just hoping this is sleep deprivation, my body being confused between night and day, and maybe a little bit of SAD d/t a long, cold winter so far. Regardless of what this is I just want to feel myself again -- I'm tired of the brain fog, lack of concentration, vision problems, generalized weakness, headaches, neck ache, appetite problems, and general feeling of unwell. This is so not me and I can't wrap my brain around it!!! I have an appt with my normal GP tomorrow and will hopefully schedule an MRI to shut down the possibility of MS or a brain tumor!! Anxiety is something I would not wish on my worst enemy!!!

Hey all. Just going to speak a little about myself and the problems I have been facing through out the last two years. So I guess I first started when I join my first highschool and I had anxiety towards the school, every time I walked in through the front doors I would breakdown and cry, shake and just feel horrible in general but In good faith I seemed to shift the problems I was facing in school and return to normality. My age is now 17 and my anxiety has returned for the last 4 months it has been restless nights and constant worrying towards and about everything. My weight was just below 17st before this anxiety started, I'm now 13st.10 pounds, I can no longer eat properly I fear for my life when I force my self to eat a chocolate bar, I fear every food is bad for me to a point where I have completely lost my appetite so I'm always sick to my stomach... I'm also suffering with chest and arm pain, joint pain, muscular pain, I feel nauseous constantly yesterday my condition hit an all time low, I had the paramedics come to my house because I thought I was having a heart attack for the second time, they checked my blood and pressure, felt my chest and stomach, BMI which was low because I had not been eating, I had my second ECG scan and got the all clear, I have suddenly lost all hope laying in bed at 6:39am wide awake.... They gave me beta blockers today which I'm to nervous to take the medication so there isn't any point of me having them. I have been taking council 1 on 1 sessions which have yet to provide any results so I'm still sat here thinking that I'm dying of a deadly Terminal Illness which I commit rid from the ever worrying brain of mine, no longer can I do anything normal without thinking of the worst outcome of it all. I'm really looking for some salvation just some help in general or I do think the worst or just borderline insane. Thank you if you spent your time to read just this small part of my life because it is really killing me and I could use some/any kind of help... Sorry for rambling. Much appreciated; thanks.

My story started back in 2012, it was the night before my Grandpas funeral and I was 5 months pregnant. I woke up ***** 5 am, sweaty, nausea,heart pounding,racing, screaming; & crying. I thought I was dying. Little did I know that was the start of my problems. I literally though I was dying several times a day. After the funeral we headed back home 15 hours away.. Well the next two nights back, I literally called 911 BC I thought I was dying. Its a horrible feeling. I'm so lost. I'm 24 newly married w 2 small children and I feel lk a complete mess! HELP

Hi i am a mom of three great kids...i have been really batteling hypochondria for so long...it has become who i am...i am not the wife i could be...or the mother i could be because i am so convinced that i am dying of either ms or parkinsons...been to neuros...bloodwork mri normal.....but my hands are tingly and i am dizzy all the time....i think about ***** often....i feel like thete is just no way out..i am 37......tried therapy...meds... u name it...been diagnosed with severe anxiety.......l am so lost

I'm nearly 27 and for the last 2 months, I have been suffering from severe anxiety. It all started when I went to my doctors because my heart kept skipping beats. I thought it was nothing but cautionary when the doctor suggested I have an ECG;I really just thought they'd say it was nothing. However, going back a few days later I discovered there was an anomaly and the ECG was referred to a cardiologist. When I asked what, I was told they suspected I had a heart condition (I can't even write down what condition as it still frightens me). I made the mistake of looking up this condition and all I saw were the words "could die in their sleep". Well, that set me off. I could not sleep; I didn't want to sleep. I had moved back home 2 years ago and now I was getting my mum to stay in my bed with me. I was crying constantly and getting pains in my chest, which made things worse. I was convinced I was going to die, that I wouldn't see Christmas or the New Year, I wouldn't see my god-daughters grow up or my best friend get married. The doctors couldn't prescribe me anything until they knew whether I had the condition or not. It took weeks for a diagnosis, all the while my anxiety was getting worse. A couple of days before Christmas I found out that I didn't have the condition but the damage was already done. The anxiety was awake and it wasn't going anywhere. I was prescribed 20mg of Propranolol to take 3 times a day. I don't feel like much has changed for the better. OK, some days I can sleep on my own but most days I feel restless. I constantly feel like my breathing is restricted, even though I know I am breathing OK. I feel useless and tired and most days I cannot be bothered with anything other than work. The thought of socialising in a large group, with alcohol, scares me. Or a future relationship. I constantly have thoughts about how rubbish I am and that I'll never amount to anything and that I would be better off dead. I think my depression is clawing it's way back and I want to try meditation but feel like I'll just give up on it. I feel like I am just existing at the moment and wish I could just go back to feeling normal.

I remember in kindergarten I was scared to go to school. I would cry and make my sister hold my hand until I got to my classroom. I use to fake sick from school a lot until high school, then I became home schooled. When I was 14 I had my first panic attack, I wasn't really sure what was happening and I felt embarrassed by it. I have had periods in my life where I am really social and other times I isolate because of this. I have always excessively worried and I know that contributes to the depression and anxiety. When I was 20 and in college I was in an abusive relationship and I started having panic attacks 6-7 times a day for 3 months straight. The doctors said I have social anxiety, panic disorder, and depression. I have been on various medications and do therapy. Shortly after the 3 month panic attack my dad got cancer and I started drinking heavily to cope. I dropped out of college, worked at a bar, and got pretty much blacked out drunk every day for the next few years. I mainly stayed at home, but I did go to the bar a lot. During the time period I dated another abusive guy. We drank, popped pills, and smoked. After that I decided to go to therapy and get help. I have been in therapy for almost 3 years and went back to college and am attending part time and I am engaged. I overdosed about a year ago and it was then that I found out that I actually have PTSD. Since then I have been trying to heal and cope properly with PTSD. Lately, I find that hard because I just lost my grandfather who was my biggest supporter. I am struggling with fear and anxiety and a lack of motivation to do the things I need to do to get better.

I'm 20, havnt been suffering from anxiety for that long only a couple of weeks but its starting to really bother me! I am a hypochondriact I worry about every little thing! I constantly feel like something is wrong with me or the worst is going to happen to me. I keep thinking every little pain is serious when its probably just in my head. No one really understands how it makes me feel.

Ok here I go. I can't believe I'm about to tell my story about my anxiety, so here goes....I have been suffering from anxiety since I can remember, and I can remember it clearly in the 6th grade after my parents and I moved from Iowa to Arkansas (where my grandma lives and I grew up).

I seemed to be doing ok in Iowa for 3 years from 8 to 11 years old because I had regular friends to play with and spend nights over at our house, but I was a shy and quiet kid in school.

After we moved back to Arkansas and was enrolled in school, that second year I believed I had become the class's laughing stock, meaning no one had respect for me, but rather made fun of me, so from that point on, I had no friends, and my anxiety started to grow and grow. I had social anxiety then, but had no clue at the time what was wrong with me.

I suffered with some of those same classmates for several years and anxiety got worst, and major depression took root as well. Sadly I couldn't take it anymore after one school day I was severely made fun of about my hair on the bus riding home, so I didn't go to school the next day, I hid under the bed I believe and missed the school bus on purpose to avoid the torture. I never went back to school, I dropped out.

For years I stayed to myself and didn't visit family much. I've always lived with my parents and even worked a couple jobs, but I couldn't keep jobs because we lived so far out in the country from the city, and the car was even wrecked by a family member and tolled (I didn't wreck it).

So for years I became more and more isolated from the world, basically housebound, but I would of never guessed it made my depression and anxiety crippling, and much much worst.

I moved to Florida and married my husband, then after I had our daughter, I suffered postpartum depression, and it was crazy and I didn't feel like myself at all. I just felt like running away from life and everything.

When my daughter was 4 mos old, I seen a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with major depression and social anxiety, then was checked into a psychiatrist hospital because I didn't care to live. I was in there for 2-3 days, then prescribed some anti-depressants and sent home.

I guess I didn't really believe this was gonna help me because I didn't take them very long--maybe 2 weeks or so and never went back until last years -- Jan 2013 when I was still a mess and took celexa for 8 months but then was taken off of medicaid and left with no way to get these meds. Now I'm still suffering with severe crippling anxiety and I think depression too. I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety last year.

Though I am so confused on what ALL I really feel, because I do believe I suffer from more than just anxiety. Its really hard to explain all my feelings and symptoms. I don't think anyone will really understand, but God.

I'm in the process now of seeking something more safer and natural to take for my anxiety and depression. No more prescriptions for me.

I admire you all for your courage, I have tried my hardest to forget what is the worst part of my life. But today I will share my story.

April 2011- it was a sunday and the start of a weeks annual leave with my partner. I decided to get a bath before having some lunch. I got out of the bath and leant over to clean the tub. All if a sudden a pain in my head, and my head suddenly just dropped (just missing the tub). I tried to stand myself up as I was now lying naked on the bathroom floor. I couldn't get up, dizziness took over, nausea followed soon after. I screamed for my partner, who came in and scooped me off the floor and carried me into my dressing room. My head was spinning, either that or the room was. All of a sudden my life force was drained, sweat pouring off me, i couldn't talk and couldn't even hold my head up... ( i had never experiences anything so traumatising in my life)

I had to be taken to a&e, my partner had managed to dress me like you would a child. I couldn't do anything except hold the bucket that I was violently being sick into and by this point, it was blood i was throwing up. When we got to a&e my partner had to get them to come out with a wheel chair, it was humiliating. There i am in a and e being violently sick and I could tell people were staring. I was rushed through, blood pressure was dangerous and they admitted to a ward, where I was given fluids, anti sickness meds and monitored. the whole experience completely traumatising. This is what made it 100x worse...... ok so Get this, super low blood pressure- still vomiting and cant even hold me head up... And they discharged me. Yes they sent me home and I was left to carry this on for the whole day and night- I couldn't lie down so no sleep came to me, just sat there terrified holding my sick bucket like it was a life line.... like this at home.

The hospital They said it was a freak incident. The Next sunday, due back in work the following day- as I lay down- to go to sleep.... it started again. Dizziness, vomiting, room spinning, inability to even crawl, another night awake hugging my bucket.... So I am taken to gp the following day... They tell me... A freak one off incident (even though this is twice in a week). This is when anxiety crept in, I didn't even realise it until it was too late... When I finally went back to work after a few days off. I was nervous and my other half was working away. my mum stayed at my flat with me and she came on train to work with me.... I was terrified I would collapse again. i mean they said it was a one off and it happened twice..... by the time I got to work I had bad palpitations, I was being sick, I had a horrendous headache and dizziness. Then Im ended up in a taxi straight home.

I developed IBS-D, tension headaches, social anxiety and a mild case of agoraphobia. I was at the doctors every week, sent for camera procedures, ct scans, referred to neurologists, gastroentologists etc. I argued it wasn't stress related. It took me 12 months to realise It was all as a result of anxiety. My family tried to sympathise, they claimed to understand, they pushed me to 'get over' it. But all it did was agitate me. They couldn't understand no matter how much they tried..... In the end I tried therapy..... But after a few sessions I realised I was my own worst enemy, I was the one obsessing, I was harbouring negative thoughts...

So here I am a few years later. After pushing myself to go places on my own and gradually increase the scare factor of each trip I am sooo much better. Okay I do have those moments of terror every now and then but i have relaxation tapes on my phone. I also know all those little things I do subconsciously when I am getting nervous, it helps me catch it early. I am still socially anxious and I am still not the person I once was..... But I have come a long way, I can now accept that what happened was out of my control, and I am confident that I can still one day slay this monster which has a grip on me...