Preview — The Art of Misdiagnosis
by Gayle Brandeis

The Art of Misdiagnosis: Surviving My Mother's Suicide

Award-winning novelist and poet Gayle Brandeis's wrenching memoir of her complicated family history and her mother's suicide

Gayle Brandeis's mother disappeared just after Gayle gave birth to her youngest child. Several days later, her body was found: she had hanged herself in the utility closet of a Pasadena parking garage. In this searing, formally inventive memoir, GayleAward-winning novelist and poet Gayle Brandeis's wrenching memoir of her complicated family history and her mother's suicide

Gayle Brandeis's mother disappeared just after Gayle gave birth to her youngest child. Several days later, her body was found: she had hanged herself in the utility closet of a Pasadena parking garage. In this searing, formally inventive memoir, Gayle describes the dissonance between being a new mother, a sweet-smelling infant at her chest, and a grieving daughter trying to piece together what happened, who her mother was, and all she had and hadn't understood about her.

Around the time of her suicide, Gayle's mother had been working on a documentary about the rare illnesses she thought ravaged her family: porphyria and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. In The Art of Misdiagnosis, taking its title from her mother's documentary, Gayle braids together her own narration of the charged weeks surrounding her mother's suicide, transcripts of her mother's documentary, research into delusional and factitious disorders, and Gayle's own experience with misdiagnosis and illness (both fabricated and real). Slowly and expertly, The Art of Misdiagnosis peels back the complicated layers of deception and complicity, of physical and mental illness in Gayle's family, to show how she and her mother had misdiagnosed one another.

Gayle's memoir is both a compelling search into the mystery of one's own family and a life-affirming story of the relief discovered through breaking familial and personal silences. Written by a gifted stylist, The Art of Misdiagnosis delves into the tangled mysteries of disease, mental illness, and suicide and comes out the other side with grace....more

Community Reviews

I can't believe I haven't reviewed this book until now—I was lucky to read an advanced copy. As someone who lost multiple family members to suicide, I found this to be an outstanding memoir. Brandeis is a gifted writer, capturing the terror, the complexity, the grief of losing loved ones to suicide.

Gayle Brandeis's mother disappeared shortly after Gayle gave birth to her youngest child. Several days later, her body was found hanging in the utility closet of parking garage of an apartment building for the elderly.

THE ART OF MISDIAGNOSIS is a gorgeous read about a less-glamorous time. Gayle is struggling with grief and heartache, as well as the soupy surreal time of postpartum. Gayle takes this dRazor-sharp, raw, poetic memoir about mothers and daughters, suicide, mental illness, and grief.

Gayle Brandeis's mother disappeared shortly after Gayle gave birth to her youngest child. Several days later, her body was found hanging in the utility closet of parking garage of an apartment building for the elderly.

THE ART OF MISDIAGNOSIS is a gorgeous read about a less-glamorous time. Gayle is struggling with grief and heartache, as well as the soupy surreal time of postpartum. Gayle takes this dichotomy of death and birth and weaves it into a coherent, poetic narrative that brings readers into the grief experience.

What's more is the family history surrounding a series of bizarre medical symptoms that often masked themselves as psychoses. Or was it psychosis, after all? It's hard to say because the symptoms tend to overlap: delusions, paranoia, factitious disorders; Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, porphyria. For the last few years of Gayle's mother's life, she was working on a documentary about these disorders, called THE ART OF MISDIAGNOSIS. Gayle takes that script and braids it, along with her own feelings and experiences into the narrative.

I found the writing clear and glittery, the medical mystery fascinating, but most of all--I wondered, what really happened?

From the back cover: "Written by a gifted stylist, THE ART OF MISDIAGNOSIS delves into the tangled mysteries of the disease, mental illness, and suicide, and comes out the other side with grace."

For those who enjoyed PIECES OF MY MOTHER (Melissa Cistaro), THE FAR END OF HAPPY (Kathryn Craft) and THE GLASS EYE (Jeannie Vanasco) will find THE ART OF MISDIAGNOSIS resonates with similar themes.

For all my reviews, including author interviews, please see: www.leslielindsay.com. Special thanks to Beacon Press for this review copy. All thoughts are my own. ...more

A brilliant and harrowing peek back through the author's childhood illness, exaggerated and fostered by her brilliant but mentally ill mother who ultimately dies by suicide. Brandeis writes with a poet's beauty and a journalist's keen observation, making herself vulnerable as she pieces together the threads of her mother's mind as it intersected with her own health and sense of self. A beautiful, insightful, powerful memoir.

Wow. I read the first line, “After my mother hangs herself, I become Nancy Drew,” and didn’t look up until I was 80 pages in. I looked up and dove back in again. This memoir about Brandeis’ mother’s suicide and so much more is a work of art. The title comes from the title of a documentary film her mother worked on for years. Gayle and her sister Elizabeth were both sick as teenagers, their suffering exacerbated by doctors who couldn’t see what was really wrong with them. Meanwhile, neither theirWow. I read the first line, “After my mother hangs herself, I become Nancy Drew,” and didn’t look up until I was 80 pages in. I looked up and dove back in again. This memoir about Brandeis’ mother’s suicide and so much more is a work of art. The title comes from the title of a documentary film her mother worked on for years. Gayle and her sister Elizabeth were both sick as teenagers, their suffering exacerbated by doctors who couldn’t see what was really wrong with them. Meanwhile, neither their mother or her doctors acknowledged the mother’s worsening mental illness that ultimately led to her death. Brandeis has created a quilted narrative that includes pieces of her mother’s film, posthumous letters to her mother, information uncovered in her detective work, and the day by day narrative of the events leading up to the mother’s death and beyond. The author has torn the bandage off every wound here, sometimes bleeding all over the pages, but it’s such a gripping story I couldn’t stop reading. At first, I wasn’t sure I could read this book. My uncle hanged himself the year before Brandeis’ mother committed suicide. I did not want to revisit that event. But she drew me in, and the book is wonderful. ...more

Too often, we ignore difficult emotions and hard conversations--until we have no choice but to confront them, which is what happened for Gayle Brandeis when her mother committed suicide. And while that's not a situation (thankfully) that many of us will ever face, the author's honest, moving, and at times even funny reckoning with her larger-than-life mother is something all of us can learn from. In giving ourselves permission to, in the unintentional humor of one of Brandeis’s relatives, “knowToo often, we ignore difficult emotions and hard conversations--until we have no choice but to confront them, which is what happened for Gayle Brandeis when her mother committed suicide. And while that's not a situation (thankfully) that many of us will ever face, the author's honest, moving, and at times even funny reckoning with her larger-than-life mother is something all of us can learn from. In giving ourselves permission to, in the unintentional humor of one of Brandeis’s relatives, “know hard feelings," we not only give others permission to do the same, we open the door that leads back to the sunlit place where we’d like to live our lives....more

This was a painful read, and I don’t know how she brought herself to share so much. But I do appreciate her candor and found so much of her journey interesting, and certain areas are just fascinating. Her writing is style is sophisticated and poetic, and I found her skill set combined with the often dark subject matter to be an interesting aspect in and of itself.

A strangely fascinating journey that grips you from the start and doesn't let go until you feel as if you know the whole family personally. The unraveling of her mother's (and her own) life yields insights for all of us. It took great courage to write this book, and share it with all of us. The story starts with her mother's suicide and takes you down the rabbit hole of mental health issues. Gayle Brandeis uses scorching honesty and her gift for words to open the story up layer by layer. Her stoA strangely fascinating journey that grips you from the start and doesn't let go until you feel as if you know the whole family personally. The unraveling of her mother's (and her own) life yields insights for all of us. It took great courage to write this book, and share it with all of us. The story starts with her mother's suicide and takes you down the rabbit hole of mental health issues. Gayle Brandeis uses scorching honesty and her gift for words to open the story up layer by layer. Her story is unique, and yet, by the end of the book, you see so much of humanity in it - you might even see yourself. I am awed by the author's ability to take us on this journey with such grace, transformation, and yet gritty, squishy, awkward, humble honesty. Powerful....more

A lyrical, searing memoir about sudden and devastating loss, this is one 2017 book not to be missed. Moving between the time surrounding her mother's suicide and a posthumous letter to her mother, Gayle Brandeis has drilled into the center of complicated maternal loss in her beautiful poet's prose. She has also inserted transcripts of a documentary her mother created surrounding medical misdiagnoses, offering necessary insight into her mother's mental instability, and explores motherhood (her thA lyrical, searing memoir about sudden and devastating loss, this is one 2017 book not to be missed. Moving between the time surrounding her mother's suicide and a posthumous letter to her mother, Gayle Brandeis has drilled into the center of complicated maternal loss in her beautiful poet's prose. She has also inserted transcripts of a documentary her mother created surrounding medical misdiagnoses, offering necessary insight into her mother's mental instability, and explores motherhood (her third child was born one week before her mother's suicide) as both mother and daughter. Rarely am I this captivated and moved by a memoir, and this one soars to the top of my favorites list....more

As an ardent fan of Gayle Brandeis' words, I pre-ordered the book and had it delivered on publication day. Then sat down and devoured it. The subject is difficult, no doubt about it, but in the end, this poignant memoir says far more about life than it does about death. Relationships are complex, as often "misdiagnosed" as the maladies of our bodies. As great writers do, the author captures the most specific details to underline universal truth, in this case the fine line between sanity and insaAs an ardent fan of Gayle Brandeis' words, I pre-ordered the book and had it delivered on publication day. Then sat down and devoured it. The subject is difficult, no doubt about it, but in the end, this poignant memoir says far more about life than it does about death. Relationships are complex, as often "misdiagnosed" as the maladies of our bodies. As great writers do, the author captures the most specific details to underline universal truth, in this case the fine line between sanity and insanity. The words are those of a poet, carefully chosen, each meaningful, always insightful. The compelling story, exquisitely woven, will resonate and echo until the next reading....more

I read Brandeis' book in less than 24 hours. I was mesmerized by the story, the mother-daughter tensions and traumas, the writing, structure, self-exploration, and other relationships. A story that begins at the end - with a death - and somehow keeps me turning the pages even though I know what "happens," is truly a work of art. The other book about mothers and daughters where that page-turning up-all-night urgency happened for me was Ariel Gore's The End of Eve; it's appropriate, then, that GorI read Brandeis' book in less than 24 hours. I was mesmerized by the story, the mother-daughter tensions and traumas, the writing, structure, self-exploration, and other relationships. A story that begins at the end - with a death - and somehow keeps me turning the pages even though I know what "happens," is truly a work of art. The other book about mothers and daughters where that page-turning up-all-night urgency happened for me was Ariel Gore's The End of Eve; it's appropriate, then, that Gore blurbs Brandeis' book because they are of the same genre. I'd argue, however, that Brandeis' book reaches even further into the self, digs even deeper, and she thus comes out with more compassion and depth, in the character of the narrator and in the feeling I'm left with as a reader, which is to say, gutted. The use of creative structuring to tell the story - the letters to the mother, and the pull quotes from the mother's documentary film, after which the book is titled, along with general narrative is a three-stranded weave that really works, even with multiple characters and time-settings in the mix. I felt deeply for Brandeis a child, due in part because I grew up in the same area and felt both that adolescent pull, and even the mother's grandiosity, of wanting to fit in among "stars" in a wealthy suburbs where look good often trumps actual good. The Art of the Misdiagnosis is, for me, a real beacon of what a memoir can accomplish - in story-telling, in truth-telling, and in the truth that is "art saves lives." ...more

When I saw two copies on the new book shelf, I figured it must be a well-reviewed book. although I'd never heard of it. It was a compelling, but uneasy book. about a writing teacher/published author dealing with her mother's suicide.

You know this from the start. The book braids her history of serious untreated mental health problems, a TV documentary the mother was producing dealing with underdiagnosed illnesses, and the daughter's past history and current dealing with the aftermath of the suiciWhen I saw two copies on the new book shelf, I figured it must be a well-reviewed book. although I'd never heard of it. It was a compelling, but uneasy book. about a writing teacher/published author dealing with her mother's suicide.

You know this from the start. The book braids her history of serious untreated mental health problems, a TV documentary the mother was producing dealing with underdiagnosed illnesses, and the daughter's past history and current dealing with the aftermath of the suicide.

But for me, it had that MFA feel of being Perfectly Constructed and Beautifully Written. While the mother had a huge desire to be center stage, it felt to me that the daughter/writer did, too. In the end, it felt as though she may have written it to help herself cope, she'd published it for recognition of All I Went Through and maybe make a few bucks at the same time.

This may be unkind, but there was always a measured quality to the whole book -- is this making an impact?...more

I have had this book on my shelf for almost a year. A recent issue of O, The Oprah magazine had a section on suicide including input from survivors of attempted suicide. So, I thought this would be a good time to read this book and the timing was right.Brandeis is an excellent writer. She manages to intersperse portions of her mother's documentary (with the same name as the book), portions of what is happening in the now, her reflections immediately following and in the months after her mother'sI have had this book on my shelf for almost a year. A recent issue of O, The Oprah magazine had a section on suicide including input from survivors of attempted suicide. So, I thought this would be a good time to read this book and the timing was right.Brandeis is an excellent writer. She manages to intersperse portions of her mother's documentary (with the same name as the book), portions of what is happening in the now, her reflections immediately following and in the months after her mother's suicide and her reflections and memories her psychiatrist asked her to write. Although it sounds confusing, it all flows resulting in a better understanding of what happened to her, her sister and her mother when it comes to misdiagnosis. It is a book that asks the reader to reflect and does a good job of it. ...more

Lyrical language plus a daughter trying to understand her mother's suicide does not sound like the formula for a good read. But, it is in the hands of the right author. Gayle Brandeis leads the reader into her family dynamics, with three strong women -- her mother, Gayle and her sister. Her mother's untreated mental illness is the background noise as Brandeis explores the tangled threads of illness affecting each of them -- physical/mental, real, imagined, self-induced? The journey, though fullLyrical language plus a daughter trying to understand her mother's suicide does not sound like the formula for a good read. But, it is in the hands of the right author. Gayle Brandeis leads the reader into her family dynamics, with three strong women -- her mother, Gayle and her sister. Her mother's untreated mental illness is the background noise as Brandeis explores the tangled threads of illness affecting each of them -- physical/mental, real, imagined, self-induced? The journey, though full of compassion, is also unflinching. Brandeis does not avoid the hard questions -- of herself or anyone else. I imagine there were some challenging conversations between the sisters before the book came out. Highly recommend. ...more

I saw Gayle Brandeis read from her memoir, The Art of Misdiagnosis, at the Last Bookstore recently. I bought the book that night and when I got home, I immediately reread the passage she had read that made me cry. I still do. It starts on page 183, in case you’re curious. Gayle’s writing is like music and her story is unforgettable. She’s weathered the effects of her mother’s mental illness with forgiveness and pureness of heart. There’s a lesson for all of us there about accepting people and loI saw Gayle Brandeis read from her memoir, The Art of Misdiagnosis, at the Last Bookstore recently. I bought the book that night and when I got home, I immediately reread the passage she had read that made me cry. I still do. It starts on page 183, in case you’re curious. Gayle’s writing is like music and her story is unforgettable. She’s weathered the effects of her mother’s mental illness with forgiveness and pureness of heart. There’s a lesson for all of us there about accepting people and loving them, even when it’s difficult to do so, yet never at the expense of not protecting ourselves....more

This was an incredibly tragic story of a mom who died by suicide and her daughter's search for meaning in her actions. Despite being an intense story, it felt disjointed - I wasn't always sure what one thing had to do with another and how all of the pieces fit together (or didn't). It was partially about physical health - both the author's mom's health and her own - and partially about mental health. And while these are inextricably bound, that wasn't always clear in this book. It was a sad readThis was an incredibly tragic story of a mom who died by suicide and her daughter's search for meaning in her actions. Despite being an intense story, it felt disjointed - I wasn't always sure what one thing had to do with another and how all of the pieces fit together (or didn't). It was partially about physical health - both the author's mom's health and her own - and partially about mental health. And while these are inextricably bound, that wasn't always clear in this book. It was a sad read and at times a compelling story, but it never quite worked together....more

Fascinating story and a compelling read about a complicated relationship between mother and daughters. The author weaves into her story excerpts from a screenplay for an unfinished documentary her mother was working on at the time of her death. I found these insertions somewhat disruptive and I don't think I understand their presence in the larger book. Downrated to four stars because of my confusion on that issue

This is riveting read about growing up with a mentally ill parent. Ms. Brandeis mother was obviously an intelligent and driven woman who was mentally ill but seemingly never diagnosed. The book details the extreme circumstances of the effects of her illness on her two daughters and Brandeis' coming to terms with the lose of her mother not only as a child due to her erratic behavior but also as an adult and new mother herself.

What if the best thing and the worst thing that can happen to a person happen in the same week? The memoirist's son is born and her mom commits suicide a week apart, and for Gayle and her family, nothing is unaltered. The Art of Misdiagnosis is a harrowing, searing book, as much for the beauty of Gayle's writing, which causes the text move into you like a weapon, and for its topic, a child's mournful cry for her disturbed mother.

Friends, get this memoir. Get it because it's beautiful, because it's haunting, because it's truthful without being cruel. Get it because it will teach you how to do all these things in your writing and life, too.

I am a bit biased since I get to call Gayle friend, but this is one of the best memoirs I've ever read.

I gave 4 stars because I think she did what she set out to do and did it beautifully. The last half flew by and I really could not stop reading. My only issues were that the last few sections felt rushed and, at times, I found the structure distracting. Highly recommend it though. Well worth your time.

Powerful memoir with an intimate and honest look into mental illness and the impact it has on a family. I loved the layering of narrative, letters to her mother, and excerpts from her mother’s documentary. Brandeis does not shy away from sharing her most personal stories nor does she use devices like humor or sarcasm to cover her vulnerability. Thank you, Gayle.

I received a an advanced reading copy of this book through Goodreads. I didn't enjoy this book. It is a tragic and sad memoir of mental illness and suicide. That said, I got nothing from this book. And can't recommend this book.

I almost did not share a review of this book. Because of my reference point as a psychologist and psychotherapist, I likely did not experience this read like most others. Its a sad story but I found myself mostly being frustrated. Enough said.

Riveting, a tender, ferocious, and engrossing story of surviving her mother's suicide. I’m not sure how Brandeis does it but she manages to write this heart-breaking memoir with care, humor, and many, many moments of transcendent grace.

Gayle Brandeis is the author of Fruitflesh: Seeds of Inspiration for Women Who Write (HarperOne) and the novels The Book of Dead Birds (HarperCollins), which won the Bellwether Prize for Fiction of Social Engagement (judged by Toni Morrison, Maxine Hong Kingston, and contest founder Barbara Kingsolver), Self Storage (Ballantine), Delta Girls (Ballantine), and My Life with the Lincolns (Henry Holt)Gayle Brandeis is the author of Fruitflesh: Seeds of Inspiration for Women Who Write (HarperOne) and the novels The Book of Dead Birds (HarperCollins), which won the Bellwether Prize for Fiction of Social Engagement (judged by Toni Morrison, Maxine Hong Kingston, and contest founder Barbara Kingsolver), Self Storage (Ballantine), Delta Girls (Ballantine), and My Life with the Lincolns (Henry Holt), which received a Silver Nautilus Book Award and was chosen as a state wide read in Wisconsin. Her poetry collection, The Selfless Bliss of the Body (Finishing Line Press) and memoir, The Art of Misdiagnosis: Surviving My Mother's Suicide (Beacon Press) will be published in 2017. Her essays, poems and short fiction have been widely published and have received numerous honors, including a Barbara Mandigo Kelly Peace Poetry Award, the QPB/Story Magazine Short Story Award, and a Notable mention in The Best American Essays 2016. She teaches in the BA and low residency MFA programs at Sierra Nevada College, where she was named Distinguished Visiting Professor/Writer in Residence, and the low residency MFA program at Antioch University, Los Angeles. Gayle served as Inlandia Literary Laureate from 2012-2014 and was deemed a Writer Who Makes a Difference by The Writer Magazine. She lives in North Lake Tahoe....more