Archive for 2013

(Is a few days before Christmas, and people are after their last few gifts. I’m stacking shelves when I see a confrontation between a man who is tall and obviously goes to the gym and a boy who is about nine years old.)

Man: “Give me that toy! You’re only going to steal it!”

Boy: “No, I got here first. You should have been more prepared.”

Man: “Shut up you brat. I’m your elder. You should respect me. Just give me the toy or I’ll educate you!”

(Note that the toy in question is big, enough so that the boy has to hold it with both hands. The man and the boy start struggling over it.)

Man: “F***ing let go!”

Boy: “NO!”

(The man raises his fist and I quickly jump up to stop him. However, before I can, the boy kicks the man’s hand out the way and then kicks his legs out from under him, sending him crashing to the ground—all while still holding on to the toy.)

Boy: “I’ll let you know what my sister thinks of the toy!”

(The man quickly runs off, humiliated. It turns out the boy and I have the same karate instructor, and he was one grade behind me.)

(I worked in the tech repair department of computer electronics retailer. I walk up to the customer service desk to do an inspections for a coworker and a customer making a return.)

Coworker:*to me* “Hey, this customer is doing a return and we need the product inspected.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I inspect it and passively listen as the customer and coworker reminisce about the days when he was her soccer coach in a public high school a couple years back.)

Customer: “…yeah, things on the team aren’t like they used to be. With that recent rule change, they’re letting homeschoolers join our sports teams now too. The nerve of them taking positions from kids who are enrolled at the school and actually learning something! Those parents are uneducated idiots to prevent their kids from getting a good education.”

Coworker: “Wow, sounds like there are some issues to be worked out.” *looks at me* “Hey, weren’t you homeschooled?”

Me: “Yes I was, for six years into high school. My mother has a Bachelors in Teaching and father has a Bachelors in Science. I received four tech certifications before working here, and just graduated with a bachelor in Computer Information Systems.”

Customer:*stands their quietly, looking away*

Me:*to the customer* “Everything looks good. You can go ahead with the return.”

(My family owns a private facial studio. The recorded message for voicemail where customers leave messages about appointments says that we will return your call within the hour. In this particular case, a message was left at one in the morning, so I call back as soon as I open.)

Caller:*answers phone groggily* “H-hello?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

Caller: “Yeah, you did. F*** you and goodbye.”

Me:*taken aback* “Well, this is [name] from [facial studio], and I’m returning your call about an appointment.”

Caller: “About time, b****. It’s been hours.”

Me: “Haha, well, you did call at one in the morning.”

Caller: “So?”

Me: “So not only was I fast asleep, I wasn’t even at the studio.”

Caller: “Well, you should have been. The only reason women like you work is to serve men like me.”

Me:*irritated* “Oh really? What do you do?”

Caller: “I’m a plumber. I do all the hard work that pansies like you can’t deal with, so when I want a treat, I expect every b**** to get ready for me.”