Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Monday, April 13, 2009

I have an addiction. It keeps me up nights and stops me from eating. It has caused me to lose friendships and get in fights with my family. When I'm not doing it, all I can do is think about it. I've lost hundreds of dollars and countless more hours dedicated to this addiction. When I am doing it, it's 10 or 12 hours before I regain consciousness again. In the summer of 2005, I did nothing but feed my addiction for three months straight.

It's Sims. Well, Sims 2, but who's counting? I love this game. The thought of a day with nothing to do but watch Sims and reruns of Frasier is utter perfection to me. So you can imagine my glee with the news of this...

Let's just say that post June 2nd, you won't be seeing me on this blog for a while.

I mean seriously, look at the graphics!

Check out the way that light scatters...

And you can zoom in and out from a bird's eye view of the town right into your own bedroom!

This is ridiculous. I'm going to go cry in a corner until June 2nd rolls around.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Is it just me, or has Heroes really been heading downhill recently? It's like the writers gave up midway through their third season. To illustrate this, I decided to make a chart detailing the development of both television series...

The Development of Lost vs. Heroes

As you can see, "Lost" tends to go all over the place. This has resulted in some great highs ("Walkabout", "Catch-22", the end of Season 4) and great lows (Nikki and Paulo, any episode starring Ana Lucia).

"Heroes", on the other hand, was relatively consistent. It got consistantly better in Season 1 as Peter gained more powers, and in Season 2 with all that jumping through the time-space continuum. And then halfway through Season 3 it just...died. The show just took a nosedive in 2009 and has left me frighteningly close to watching Lifetime.

It seemed like the writers of "Heroes" were trying to follow some "Lost" formula. Case in point...

The Indians

Yes, both actors have an Indian background. I'm going with Suresh on this one.

Partially because of the accent, partially because his character is not offensive to anyone from the Middle East.

The Koreans

Oooh. I think both actors are Korean-American, but who cares? Look at those absies...

The Pre-Pubescent Boys

Both characters are secretly bad-ass. Micah because of the whole "Rebel" thing (though, why they chose such a terrible alias is beyond me), and Walt because there's something more to him that we've yet to learn about...

The Double-Agent Dads Who Adopted Their Daughters

Seriously, whose side is he on?!

But there are a few things that the writers of "Heroes" still need to work on...

Claire vs. Claire

vs.

They're blonde, they're adorable, they can't seem to figure things out. But technically, Claire Bennett has yet to graduate from high school. Stop trying to make Claire the sex toy on "Heroes", it's creepy. Also, she has freakishly tiny hands.

Multiple women vs. The same woman over and over again

vs.

For the love of god, just hire a new actress. Until you do, we'll be stuck watching the same woman play what is essentially the same character over and over again. Badly.

Jumping through time vs. Not jumping through time

Oh my god. What are they doing in the Dharma Initiative?!

vs.

I wish Hiro was cool again.

It's simple: (Time x Space) - Logic = Really Good TV

Creepy bald leader vs. Creepy bald leader

vs.

Both are willing to sacrifice lives to attain their goal, but Emile Danko is just not as interesting as John Locke. Get rid of him. His character is very one-sided. He's too evil to be interesting.