Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"doctored"

For my initial post, I thought I'd share something from one of my private journals. Perhaps you will find it entertaining, perhaps enlightening. Originally written 03.03.06

Here's a theory for you. This one actually has a pretty high coefficient of adaptability (in that it's quite easily worked into harmony or at least agreeance with other theories), in my humble opinion. (Haha, thinking of all this scientific and rational thought about theories of relationships and women...ultimately is this blog looking for a Grand Unified Theory of Women? haha. Moving on...)

The Ph.D Theory

Suppose for the sake of argument one has two females of above average stats (namely intelligence, personality, and appearance). All other things being equal, I will suggest that the more attractive girl is the one with the greatest Potential hotness Difference, or Ph.D

If I may digress for a moment into a scientific analogy. Across many different sciences we come across the notion of potential difference. This of course is an element, a quantifiable measure of a base, a zero point, and the object's relation (or change with respect) to it. In the case of gravity, it's the height of an object when compared with the relative ground. Obviously, an airplane flying high in the stratosphere has much more potential energy than a swinger at the top of her arc. If you've taken an E&M science class, you would of course know of electric potential energy, used in capacitors and other elements to store electric charge.

Now we relate it back to the double X chromosomes. Just as in basic kinematics, you can choose the zero point to be anywhere convenient to measurement- the actual importance comes from the relative differences. In this case, I'm proposing the greatest attraction derrives from the greatest difference between a girl's positive* outward appearance (in a social sense- how she acts in public, in the daytime, to your parents and friends, her reputation, basic societal qualities deemed "proper" such as virginity and piety, sweetness, kindness, femininity, pink sugar and spice and everything nice) and her negative* private appearance (known ideally only to the significant other, this entails her primal sexual urges, her uninhibited raw energy, her sexuality, drive, libido, dirty talk, costumes, fantasies, and other such elements- how she acts in the bedroom, the opposite of her outward appearance).

Now, for an example.Girl A and Girl B:

Girl A maintains an image of a pure innocent girl to the world. She generally dresses conservatively, goes to church, and one could reasonably assume she is a virgin.Girl B has no such qualms, instead prefering to wear revealing clothing, flirting, and even bragging about her sexual conquests and experience.

Now, assume for the sake of the example, in the bedroom, both are the same girl. Passionate and sensual, they both exhibit confidence and sexuality, enjoying the emotional and physical components of intimacy shared with a partner.

By the Ph.D theory, Girl A is hotter, because of the greater difference. With Girl B, the outward and private components are nearly the same. What you see is what you get. With Girl A, there's an element of mystery, secrecy, of knowledge by her signficant other that while her friends and family know her as a sweet and innocent girl, (and she truly may be!, one could hope), when the lights go out she is not timid or insecure, but instead sexual and aggressive.

Potential hotness Difference.

"I've been searching for the daughterOf the devil himselfI've been searching for an angel in whiteI've been waiting for a woman who's a little of bothAnd I can feel her but she's nowhere in sight"

-One of These Nights by The Eagles

*Note that "postive" and "negative" do not carry traditional connotations. They are not "good" and "bad", but used in a scientific sense, to denote one direction from another.