Sisko: You will all find a phaser under your chair. It will fire one shot, and one shot only, so pick your target carefully. Welcome to Cardassian roulette. I'll be back in an hour to see if any of you are still alive.

Garak: Oh, my, well this won't do at all.O'Brien: Excuse me?Garak: Don't mind me, I'm just commenting on the handiwork.O'Brien: Look, would you mind not critiquing my handiwork as I'm working?Garak: Oh, it's not your handiwork I'm concerned with, my dear Mr. O'Brien, it's the horrible stitching on your uniform, really, you'd think Starfleet would put more thought into their fashion...O'Brien: Oh, I thought you were...oh never mind, let me get back to work...Garak: Oh no, that won't do, that's the sign of poor workmanship...O'Brien: Listen, could you critique Starfleet's fashion sense another time, I'm really busy here...Garak: I wasn't commenting on the fashion that time...

Sisko: I've seen this before...looks like someone tried the famous Sisko jambalaya recipe...

Bashir: Replaced by a shapeshifter....yeah, right, like they'll fall for that one...

Worf: Man what in the world is happening down at the end of the hall? I don't have a clue? Let's check this thing out!Sisko: What is happening here? Something's going on that's not quite clear. Somebody turn on the lights, we're gonna have a party, it's starting tonightWorf: Oh, what a feeling! When we're dancing on the ceiling! Oh, what a feeling! When we're dancing on the ceiling!

It was best not to see Worf until he'd had a chance to braid his hair in the mornings.

Bashir: My god! I have an identical twin! And in Starfleet, no less!Changeling: ...er, yes. (Humans really are useless before their first cup of coffee!)

Worf: It appears to be a...pancake.Sisko: They're neural parasites, Mr. Worf. Shoot to kill.Worf: Why not scrape it up with a spatula? Sisko: These 'pancakes' have a vicious streak two klicks wide, Mr. Worf! They're killers.Worf, preparing to use rifle as club: I shall take care of the pe- AGH!!!!!!!!Sisko: I WARNED YOU!

Ezri: "Oh! I was not going to try on Jadzia's bras... no... that was the last thing on my mind. Not that you needed to ask. As we're obviously not the same size. So not curious...."

O'Brien: "Get that damned light out of my face, ye damned spoonhead!"
Garak: "Someone needs to cut down on his raktajino."

Sisko: "Looks like the whole conduit blew out. Anyone working here would have been incinerated instantly."
Kira: "I guess the chief won't be wanting his raktajino then."

Bashir 1: "I'm you from the future. I'm here to stop you sleeping with Leeta. You'll give her an STD, which she'll pass on to Rom when she leaves you, which will mutate and infect the entire Ferengi Alliance. They'll all suffer shocking lobe reduction, which will spur them to a devastating war with the Federation, who they'll blame."
Bashir 2: "Leeta leaves me... For Rom!"
Bashir 1: "Missing the point here."

Worf: "What's that noise?"
Sisko: "The plumbing under the O'Brien's quarters."
Worf: "Raktajinos?"
Sisko: "Or Keiko's cooking. Who knows?"
Worf: "Someone ought to repair that."
Sisko: "Are you going to tell O'Brien that his bowels are causing that?"
Worf: "I may be Klingon, but I'm not foolhardy."

"My plan is this, Founder. Send a changeling to replace a target. Then, without telling the first changeling, send another changeling to take that form and expose the first changeling. Thus, when the first changeling is revealed to be a changeling, the second will be assumed to be the real deal. And thus will no longer be under suspicion of being a changeling!"

Thanks for the win LeadHead!
Ezri: Constable!
Odo: It's okay Dax, every humanoid does it when they're on their own, though next time I suggest more discretion lest someone else catches you with a hand down your trousers...

Nog: (whispering) Chief, Garak's in the midst of a murderous rampage! What do we do?
O'Brien: I know what to do! Say Garak, you wouldn't mind playing a game of Kotra?

Sisko: How many times is it now?
Kira: Seven I think, this is the seventh time she's blown up the science lab.
Sisko: As I keep warning you, Dax's can be impulsive.

Bashir to the left: (thinking) Oh fuddlesticks, I can't believe I got myself trapped behind this forcefield while the real Bashir escaped!

Worf: Sir do you hear that sound?
Sisko: I do.
Worf: It's sounds like thousands of Jem'Hadar are stomping their boots on the ground in time.
Sisko: They must have copied that from the orcs.
Worf: Orcs?
Sisko: In Lord of the Rings: Two Towers, before the orcs stormed Helms Deep, they made a right raucous trying to intimidate the Rohan defenders... Why, you're not scared are you Mr Worf?
Worf: No, no sir!