Sometimes you have to say enough.

for all of you who are single, lonely, desperate, sexually deprived, highly sexual, bi-sexual, heterosexual, broken hearted, sexually frustrated (hello me), down right dirty, down right innocent and finally never had an orgasm - go buy a CHAI TEA, with hot milk, cinnamon and vanilla!

This has more of a Prose feel to it. It's a little long yes, but not long winded. Not going to lie The M. Definatley stands for someone.
But we don't get to choose who inspires us, we just need to write it down asap!