Things Toddlers Say

Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday! We’re on VACAY this week, so this one is a shorty… but I wouldn’t leave ya without some funnies. Enjoy!

Staring out the window during breakfast…
Hubby: What are you looking at, J?
J: The trees and they’re so beautiful.

J, one morning: And then we could have ice cream! But right now we can’t have ice cream.

EK to J: Your peanut looks like a tail! (peanut=penis)

J, singing a song he made up: When a bulldozer goes bye bye…

EK to J: Yeah, Mom can call the police officer and tell them to put the bugs, and crickets, and stink bugs…
J: and crabs and crickets!
EK: yeah and put them into jail. Can you do that mom?

Hubby was on the phone…
J: Dad! DAD! DAAAAAD! Can you, can you, um, get me some, some, some, um, some milk?

J, to Hubby while he was practicing mandolin: Dad, excuse me! I need to talk to you!
Hubby: What’s up?
J: You’re the best and I love you.

EK, handing me a doll: Will you hold the baby?
Me: Sure! (I hold the baby for a minute.)
J: Mom, let me shake that baby for you.
Me: Umm…

J: What’s that red store, mama?
Me: Target!
J: Can I get in there?!

Hubby: EK, this is Holly.
EK: You mean there’s a second Holly in the world?! (Her aunt’s name is Holly, too.)

J, coming down the hallway from the bathroom, crying, pants around his ankles: Moooooom I need help!
Me: What happened?
J, crying: I need new pants!
Me: Did you pee in your pants?
J, wailing now: No, but I got pee on them and it’s on my face!
Me, noticing his hair is wet, and trying not to laugh: How did you pee on your face?
J: I thought it was pointing down! (Cries more.)
Me: (LOSING IT BIG TIME)

J: MomDad (said as one word), can I put on my trunks and get in that hotbathtub? (Also one word, meaning hot tub.)