I would challenge you to write it up high school style. Maybe not as you wrote in High School, but as those you knew in high school wrote..lost of disjointed and unnecessary purple prose...implied rather than stated encounters and great sense of self importance.

You have all that here...unnecessary lore and such...but it is a little too polished to be real satire, but doesn't have enough love to real nostalgia. Go to Comment

Definitely captures the old school feel of a traditional campaign big bad evil girl, just the kind of villain to threat a group of adventures, since without team work the chance of defeating her is minimal. Go to Comment

A. You don't, power corrupts
B. The priesthood of Nahual is restored and a Cult of the Catwomen is born
C. Strength of Will, a powerful woman becomes the Catwoman and resists the effects of the idol. Go to Comment

There is more to Plutopolis than meets the eye, and everything was simply too much to put into a single mega submission.

Plutopolis is a world city, in that the players of a game are never going to leave the city because there is no reason to, this isn't a function like Dark City, there is a world that exists outside of it's borders, but aside from rare and specific missions there is nothing of interest outside.

Regarding positives for living in the Plutopolis: there are plenty of them.

Outside of the city, life is different, Plutopolis doesn't exist in our world, and traveling across the continents is going to reveal a landscape ravaged by violent wars, rampant poverty and banditry, and for the resident country (America) it is an absentee police state, there is no civil protection unless it's coming down on you. The American dream isn't to own a home, and have 2.5 kids, it's to move to Plutopolis, because the City of Riches, crime ridden as it may be, will never taste the misery of war or genocide.

Likewise, Plutopolis is plutocratic democracy, and the government changes, mayors come and go, and various other offices rotate, meaning that there are no petty tyrants lording over the city. The powers that be rather than embrace the innate and latent negativity of the city have a strong desire to see good people, honest people find their way to positions of power, and be replaced before they succumb to the corruption innate to the station.

Holidays in Plutopolis put our holidays to shame. Christmas sees the black buildings lit with holiday colors, and the corps and wealthy families put out their charity, and there are many public Christmas displays (heavy on the pagan aspect, light on the Jesus aspect). Same goes for other holidays, with parades, and ticker tape, and again the giant corps pumping money into said parades. On the downside that means there is corporate ownership and sponsorship of holidays (Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade) but on the upside, it has made these holidays more commercial, and more strongly recognized.

Out in the farmland, the government is holding farmers hostage for their food, and in the mountains there are tiny sectarian wars, and the air is smoke and the water is poisoned, but in Plutopolis there is a 97 float, balloon and marching band parade going on for St. Patricks day. Go to Comment

Very well described in places. Awesome canvas for gaming (or in your case, awesome locale for a novel I imagine.) An entire world really, inside of a city. Besides Gotham, I get a bit of a Basin City vibe, along with for some reason, a fascimile of futuristic novels of the 40's, 50's, and 60's, decrying the "metropolises" they describe.

As per usual, no positives are mentioned about "life in the big city", of which there are many. Then again, I imagine that's by design. :)

With the exception of "Space Trucks" this is almost a point for point rewrite of the discussion of space commerce in the old Star Wars West End games source book. Nothing wrong with that though, the cosmic era is about folding in things from other genres and the convergent evolution of speculative fiction.

But lets get down to the juicy details. How much space traffic do you want there to be in the cosmic era? I thought that humanity had not yet left the solar system in the cosmic era and the alien invasion had not happened yet. Yet you mention stuff "Most of the container ships are involved in terraforming operations". How many terraforming operations are going on in the solar system? How many people live an extraterrestrial lifestyle? Are they self sustaining yet?

But also might space hauling be more like log flows. Let us say you have harvested and lumped together using some sort of ionic net 400,000 tons of carbon floating about 10 million miles from the rings of Saturn and you want to get that stuff to the Solar powered molecular fabrication plant (takes carbon and then builds super strong material from the atom up) sitting behind Mercury. How much energy do you need to get that 400,000 tons of carbon there. With a geeky dose of planning and one good push, couldn't that chunk just move that way without a lot of course correction? How much energy and time do you need to invest in order to ensure that there are course corrections? How long will it take?

Scas this is a huge disappointment from your FANTASTIC other stuff(I am totally a fan of the cosmic era . you are by far my fav sub person and you let me down 2.5/5 (dont hate me ) Still think space whates are best thing since sliced bread Go to Comment

I think they don't even want to restore her, or to substitute the hormones. Why deal with puberty when you can have a perfectly stable kid general?

Possibly, I'd revisit what kind of body she chooses for herself; it might not be girlish teen androids. The gamer in her might choose a body that appears imposing, epic and still cool, an iconic over-the top sculpt that has nothing to do with how she might have looked if not for her sickness. Go to Comment

Can I say, I feel bad for her? Which is a good thing. A somewhat tragic powerful presence, messed up in head, and a damn interesting character for a novel. I imagine you can go many ways with her...good, bad, other. The 27 pounds of brain and suspended viscera is a jolting image.

I'm going to have to look up what the heck an Ender Wiggin is now. Go to Comment