workouts

I lay in bed last night, knowing that if I was going to actually get my cards in a row, I had to do it now, not a few days from now, but this week. Or at the very least, start doing things right.

It was pouring rain last night and I didn’t feel like walking to the gym. It’s abut a mile and a half walk and I usually love the walk through downtown San Francisco, but through the windy, cold pouring rain, I wasn’t up for it. And for the rest of the night and even today, I felt guilty for it. It was one workout, just one, that I missed.

The simple truth is, if I don’t put 10% effort into getting into prime shape and losing weight, I won’t lose it. I can’t go half-assed about this. I’m in my 50s and weight loss doesn’t happen without complete commitment. And I’m ready to commit to it.

I passed my Personal Trainers renewal Sunday. I had studied weeks for it. I was so happy, that I allowed myself too much celebration I think.

But it is time to put the effort into my training. And also, into this blog. So, my friends, the time is NOW. Don’t put anything off, don’t wait until it is too late!

I belong to a particular running group in Facebook specifically for slower runners. It’s a fun group, for the most part, but sometimes some of the posts sadden me.

Many people, through a harsh life’s history or intense medical problems or something else, suffer from a negative self-image. Because of the magical power of running, they a strength within themselves they never knew existed and believe in themselves again. Others continue to struggle, trying to cope with those inner voices while posting backhanded criticisms of themselves.

Some of the ones I see a lot:

“I’m really slow…”

“I’m not a real runner…”

“Everyone is faster than me…”

“I’m afraid of being the last runner…”

And there are so many more.

Self-esteem is not an easy thing to grow, nurture, if it was never given the chance to blossom. But we have to find a way. We must. I was a drunk for much of my adult life. I drank to escape the real world. If my life had been great, I wouldn’t have wanted to escape, would I?

When grew tired of hangovers, black outs, missing money, lost friends, etc, etc, I quit drinking and spent years telling myself I was an OK person. And I am. And you are too.

As they say in AA, “fake it til you make it.” Because one day, you will make it. One day, you’ll realize that you’re not such a horrible person and that you’re doing all right. It might take some time; it might not be perfect. And you’re going to mess up, we all do.

But one thing is certain: you’ll never make it if you keep telling yourself you suck. You need to stop that. NOW.

YMMV….these simple initials, meaning: Your Mileage May Vary, cover a very wide territory. When learning something new, facts and information are given in the most general sense to cover the widest scope possible, so many times it isn’t always a perfect fit.

While studying for my personal trainer’s certificate, we were taught to encourage clients to use a treadmill over running or walking outside. As a runner, this goes against my very core, no my heart.

I understand why the educational system does that. They’re teaching students who most probably will be working at big gyms with lots of clients using lots of equipment and they want those clients to stay in those gyms using all that equipment.

But treadmills? Ug. No wonder people hate running if they’re subjected to those things. A mile on a treadmill feels like 10 miles outside. Treadmills were first designed as torture devices for prisoners and for me, it feels just like torture to run on them.

Running, first and foremost is about freedom. How is it freeing to be stuck on a machine going nowhere? That seems to me to be more like trapped. It’s the opposite of the emotions I want. Even walking isn’t pleasurable when spent on a small, movable surface inside. It just isn’t the same as being outside.

I walk every Saturday with a small group of senior ladies. I couldn’t imagine doing the walk on treadmills. It wouldn’t happen. Part of our fun and joy is being outside, seeing the lovely sights of the city and the togetherness of the walk. We’ve seen some great things too. Sea lions, wind surfers, brown pelicans and sail boats all have been part of them. We’ve watched the exciting ending of a swim race from Alcatraz to Aquatic Beach, we’ve wandered through massive wooden sailing ships docked permanently at Hyde Pier.

“Watch TV while you’re on the treadmill!” People suggest. No. I run or go walking to get away from television, to get away from drama, current events, advertising.

I think if I asked the ladies they’d say the same thing; they wouldn’t go walking if they had to do it on a treadmill. We love the feel of the breeze, even if the weather isn’t always the greatest, but it is our release for the built up stress of the week.

Many people enjoy the treadmill, and I understand that. Maybe they don’t particularly like running, so they can get it done quickly without going outside. Maybe they’re nervous about running outside. These are understandable concerns. But I say to this, just once a week, step outside and go for a run or walk. Find a nice place in your area, listen to music quietly if you like, or if it’s a trail, listen to the birds and the rustle of the wind. Just try it. Once a week. You might find it more pleasurable than you ever thought.

The 40th tallest hill took me a while to get around to running it. I wasn’t thrilled about it, to be honest, it’s not the most scenic spot in San Francisco. In fact, if you’ve spent any time in the city, you’ve been here. At 250 feet, it’s the same height as a few other hills but what makes it different is that a shopping mall stands on top of it.

Even on a foggy day, the view is nice

Yes, there’s a Best Buy and Target on this one. The cross streets are Geary, Presidio and Masonic. It’s an extremely busy intersection. The views of Downtown are pretty nice, if you go to the top of the parking lot. Other than that, it’s not that special.

On Geary at the base of Mount St Joseph

Because I wasn’t that thrilled with the 40th place, I’m including some pictures from my run this last Sunday at Mt Tamalpais. It was a wonderful 7 mile run from Mt Tam to Stinson Beach. I don’t get up there very often because the bus ride is long and expensive. But I’ll do it again when I can.

Near the top of My Tamalpais

Top part of the Matt Davis trail

The top part of the trail is dry, yet the bottom part is so damp, like a rainforest

Life is good. Things are not perfect, but when is it? My running and workouts are the best part of my day and I can’t ask for more.

A great tragedy struck recently. Netflix didn’t get a new contract with Fox entertainment so they are cancelling Fox shows effective April 1st. This includes my favorite television show of all time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No shows has been able to show the angst, pains and loves of growing up quite as well as Buffy. Combining searing drama with humor and a little horror, plus even a musical episode, Buffy has been my favorite since its inception.

And now it’s going away…..

Because of its impending disappearance, I’ve been watching as many of the 7 seasons as I can. One reason why I loved this show so much is that it took time to bring out life’s problems and dealt with them in a very well-written, entertaining way, sometimes with vampires, other times with the Apocalypse or even worse. Yes, worse!

So, there was one episode I watched last night, “Normal Again” in Season 6, that really hit home. It was one where the evil trio of the time, Warren, Andrew and Jonathan created a demon who stung Buffy and made her think that her whole life was just her imagination and that she was really confined in a mental hospital. The demon made her think that everything that was real was false and that she should stay in the created world because the false one (the one with her friends in Sunnydale) was part of her sickness.

It would have been easy for Buffy to stay in the safe place, in her imagination. To stay with her mother and father (who in her imagination had not divorced but were happy together). It would have been simple to live in a comatose state, her brain thinking that the pretend world was real.

But she couldn’t. She had an evil to fight and had to find a way to reality.

We also have to fight our way to reality. It’s very easy to dream of what our lives might be like. I find myself doing this a lot, especially when things aren’t going so well, like now. I think of what my life would be like living in an area where I could hear birds singing from my apartment, or hey, having green grass to walk on, instead of hopping over dog poop. I dream of having enough money to pay my bills rather than choose between paying a bill and buying fresh produce. It is a challenge.

But the more we daydream and pull ourselves away from what we need to do, what we MUST do, the more we pull ourselves away from the Here & Now.

We must focus on what is to be done, today, right now, this very moment. If we can complete today’s tasks, then our tomorrow will be brighter. This is a fact!

Sunday mornings are usually my favorite time of the week. I set my alarm early; sometimes as early as 4:00am, go to bed extra early on Saturday night while my neighbors are heading out to have fun and wake up in the darkness looking forward to that week’s long run.

Everything changes with an injury. My IT band problems are keeping my from running for at least a month if not longer.

Sunday, I woke up late. I didn’t set the alarm as there was no morning run. In fact, my leg ached a bit, so I woke, did my morning stretches and figured out what else to do besides my long run. Unfortunately, I didn’t choose the smart and sensible thing. I ate a large breakfast and watched Netflix.

I’m not used to being side-lined. I’m not used to not having my favorite activity to plan. What to do, what to do…..the responsible person would get their fast spreading butt to the gym to get a decent workout in. At least I could clock in some stretching and cardio, but not this Sunday. I couldn’t get myself out of a funk.

This sorry state has lingered longer than I would like, but learning to cope with delay and disappointment is part of life, so I’m working my way through it. Sometimes, getting through a rough spot means just putting one foot in front of the other, so I will do that….

I fell asleep at 10:30 last night. New Year’s Eve isn’t my deal. I don’t drink and the thought of being around a club or bar filled with people partaking doesn’t appeal to me. Maybe if there was a band in town that I’d like to see I’d go out, but it seems like the best time to cuddle up under the covers, get some rest and wake up early on New Year’s Day.

What I DO love is running early New Year’s Day. Even though it’s really cold out, I love it!

Conservatory of Flowers

So, I forced myself into the cold, dark morning street air. All was quiet as I walked to the bus stop. Surprisingly, there were quite a few people on the MUNI 5, making their way or to work or to wherever they were going.

I started my run on the Panhandle, trying to stretch out the distance on the park as much as I could, for I knew that Ocean Beach would be colder and windier. Very few people were out. There were a couple other runners, dog walkers and cyclists, but really, Golden Gate Park was near empty. And that’s exactly why I went out early. The weather was, in spite of being cold, beautiful. There was hardly a breeze until I got to the beach.

Empty park streets

I noticed the clues of the high surf on the beach. Small pools of water remained close to the sidewalk, far away from the ocean. I don’t think I’d ever seen the surf that high before, so when the weather warning says “Dangerous High Surf”, it’s probably a good idea to pay attention.

I finished out my run on the Great Highway. By then, there were a few runners and walkers out and I had finally gotten warm. I’ll be running the Hot Chocolate 15K next week right here and it was worth nothing how the weather was this morning.

Ocean Beach – windy & cold

During my run, I thought of the year passed and the one ahead of me. I probably set my goals too high last year, as I didn’t reach half of them. I am running faster, I got my personal trainer’s certificate, I did finish the San Francisco Marathon and I finished running 1,000 miles, but I didn’t run all the races I wanted to, I haven’t found the job I’m looking for and I have yet to lose the weight I would like. So, there are things I need to work on this year.

And I will work my hardest to get them done. In essence, what I want to accomplish this year, can be said in three words: Fit, Fierce, Frugal

I need to keep running, keep sticking to healthy eating, stay on track at the gym. I must not be afraid by self-imposed fears of inferiority, instead I need to jump in and take chances and go for what I want. I also have to keep track of my finances. Things are going to be tight, moneywise in 2017. I will not have the choices to do many of the fun things I did in 2016, so I have to take stock in priorities and never lose track of the prize.

May you All have great 2017s, and may you run many miles and do great things!

So, I’ve had a cold for a few days. I don’t feel too bad any longer. I did make it to work today. It felt great to leave the house and be in contact with other people. I contemplated going for a run tonight, but decided against it, figuring I will go out tomorrow night instead. I’ll rest one more evening and be more than ready for an easy run Thursday night.

During my down time, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (and eating unfortunately). I thought about starting another website to promote health and fitness for folks 50 and over, but then I reminded myself that even though that sounded like a great idea, one is enough for me and I can combine whatever I want to do within here.

Eventually, I will add more to this site. There will be more in 2017. I will add more recipes, more health info and a lot more content, especially for those of us who are no longer on the shy side of 40. I will be adding interviews with inspirational and professional people I think readers will enjoy. I’m excited about the improvements and additions I’ll be including and I really can’t wait for 2016 to end. I will write more about how the year was for me, but it’s not making an easy ending for me, I’ll say for now.

Until my Holiday post, I hope you don’t drink too much egg nog (there’s like a thousand calories in that stuff), keep working out, be kind to those around you, (we’re all stressed out) and take a little time out to appreciate what’s really important ( the material things aren’t it).

If you ask me when the best time to visit San Francisco is, I would say early October. The weather is warm and there’s less chance of high layered fog and wind. The city always gets late summer here and I wait anxiously for it.

Sun Setting Earlier Over the Bay Bridge

In my older years I’ve grown to not like the cold much. In fact, I plan to move to a warmer climate in a few years. Until I can afford to do this, I’ll enjoy these warmer days we have right now…..

This past weekend, I run a couple great runs in the warmer weather. I’m soaking in the sun as much as I can, as the nights are getting darker faster and soon I won’t have that wonderful Golden Gate Park trail to run Friday evenings any more.

View of Aquatic Park & the Bay

I also invested in some new running gear. I bring many items with me on my runs. I don’t own a car, so it’s essential I have everything with me when I go out. Must haves for me on a run are: phone, keys, glasses, water, mascots Buster and Alfredo.

I have an Ultimate Direction hydration vest I really like. I’ve owned it for two years and it’s the best pack I’ve ever owned. But it is bulky and sometimes I’d rather not wear a big vest.

Just recently I purchased an Ultimate Direction Access 10 Plus waist pack. I’ve used it for a week now and really like it for the most part. What I appreciate about it is it doesn’t move around, it stays where I want it to stay. The small water bottle is perfect for short runs under 10 miles, which is just when I want to wear it. It has two pockets which is better than the usual one pocket styles I’ve seen. There is another waist pack with a larger bottle, (the Access 20 Plus), but I’m not sure if the pockets are larger.

Access 10 Plus

The minuses, there’s only one negative about it is that the pockets are small. The first, to hold my phone doesn’t hold my phone if I have headphones plugged in, and I don’t have a giant phone. I have a Galaxy S6 Edge, so it’s not huge, but I have to keep it unzipped a little if I want to listen to music. The second pocket is barely big enough for my glasses and keys. I’m afraid I’ll break my glasses because they have to squish in there sometimes if I need to add fuel for the road.

Ultimate Direction makes great big waist packs, but that’s too much for a shorter run. If they made this one with one of the pockets even a half inch longer, that would make all the difference.

As a company, I highly recommend U.D.’s products. Their customer service and gear are top of the line. The pricing is good and delivery is fast. Just make that pocket a teeny bit bigger and I will recommend the Access 10 Plus 100%. 😉

In a fitness instructor group I belong to, someone posted an article stating why lifting is the new running for women over 40. Many of the trainers chimed in how they hated running and how they were so happy when they stopped running.

Well…. I of course, had to add my voice asking why does it have to be one or the other? Why can’t those of us who enjoy being fit like both? I love to run, obviously, but I also really enjoy my time spent at the gym. Maybe I’m not a “serious lifter” like some, but I do plenty of tough work with dumbbells, kettle bells and barbells.

Ever since I can remember there has been this invisible and sometimes not-so-invisible divide between lifters and runners. Fortunately, stereotypes have been shed and more people on either side are agreeing that each has its merits. So when I saw this today and the agreements of how running is supposedly bad, it brought me back to the bad old days when lifters routinely discounted running.

I also saw this divide while studying for my trainer’s cert. Somehow, running has gotten a bad rap by the gym crew a while back and it’s still there.

I am all for adding strength training into one’s regular workouts. It has helped with my weight, my endurance, my strength and my lack of injuries. Frankly, I can’t imagine I would be running at all had I not added in strength training. But I also suggest that lifters stop their prejudice against running. Some seem to have an all-out dislike of cardio all together. Maybe because it’s difficult when one starts. But, like anything worthwhile, it takes time to master.

I only hope one day we lifters and runners can join together and understand we are both on the same side.

I have been away from my writing. Many things have been going on and not all good but I won’t bore anyone with all the torrid details. Except to say that stress sucks and I’ve had plenty of that. I have stress so bad right now that I grit my teeth at night (even with a mouth guard) that I have constant jaw pain. I take Advil for it and am trying to find solutions like meditation and changing my profession to ease out of it. I know will find a way and as most everything in my life, I know it won’t be easy.

But I’m still running, still getting out there and doing it. I am now more determined than ever to lose the weight I need, get the part-time personal trainer’s position I want and run like the wind!