July 29, 2007

If you have relatives like mine, some of them are far than subtle. In my family, the females are vocal, while the males are a cool lot. Well, at least the generation before mine. Before you and me.

Anyway, I happened to drive back to Malacca about three weeks back when I received the news that one of my aunties fell down the mangosteen tree. Climbing the trees behind our ancestral home has always been our annual activity every time musim buah comes. She stepped on a dead branch and she fell about 15 feet. Alhamdulillah, she got away with bruises and grazes. No bones broken or cracked, just muscle strained as a result of falling face down, flat on the ground. I was in the office about half and hour, told my colleague I won't be able to make the meeting that morning, went to my boss and informed her I was taking the day off. Drove on the almost completed south bound North-South Highway, flirted with a biker on the way, and arrived in Malacca in a record time. My aunt is mending now, already driving to work, but taking two to three hours break in the afternoon to relax at home.

But this post, is not about her, actually.

As I sat there in the kitchen, with Mak and my aunties and cousins, food and cuisine and fruits in front of us, all around us, I was asked to eat. I refused the rice, and took only the lauk. But still I ate the bubur durian. Haih. Sedap, I tell you.

Although knowing myself that I am indeed, filling up here and there and everywhere, it kinda gives you a jolt when someone else points it out. Not that I feel sad or overly worried, I just add to my to-do list my visit to the gym (which to date still not being ticked as DONE).

Today, Pak Ngah's family had a kenduri doa selamat. And what else do we do besides reciting the Yassin? Makan lah of course. And the chicken and the lamb and the beef and the pulut kuning all so sedap! Who can resist? Certainly not yours truly! No siree!

July 26, 2007

I believe one of the reasons why I am phobic to coupledom is the fact that I have to make status report every now and then. I am questionable when I didn't answer the phone when it rang. Or the fact that I have to explain myself every time. Worse, when I have to validate and revalidate my actions.

I know. I know. Those are to be expected. And above all, when you have to do all those, it means someone cares for you. A lot. Right?

The truth is that, I went through the cycle, officially, a couple of times. And they just drained me. I feel safer if I keep the people that I care about at arm's distance. I refuse to get too close. I choose not to. It's just too much, and I just don't want to gamble anymore.

But there's just no assurance, no? There will never be. We face everything that's thrown to into our path as they come. One at a time. If it doesn't work out, move on and wait for another. Or just jump to a different path where you might or might not get more options. Heh.

I am not complaining. Far from it. More like thinking out loud. And yes, I know the answers and reasons to my questions and whining. (The curse of being intelligent? haha). I am far from bitter. I'm just drained of emotions. I guess.

I care, but I know it is still far from "love". For when you lose something you love, you'll be devastated. And I just couldn't risk being in that emotional turmoil again. I am not brave enough to venture into such depth. Yet.

I know someone will be hurt when he reads this. And from the bottom of my heart, I could only apologise. I guess I need time. And we have that aplenty, do we not?

I am a free spirit. I like my own "me" time as much as "us" time. I enjoy doing this alone as much as sharing. There are times when I need another's presence to comfort me, while other times I would just like to be left alone. Sometimes I voice out my needs, others it's in my actions and expression. If that makes me complicated, so be it. I do not seem to be giving the right signals every time and that hurt people that I love, care, people that love and care for me. I am a woman. And that is not an excuse.

Dr. John Gray said in his book that men are prone to fix things and women just like to improve them. While men are like rubber-bands, women are like the ocean. And when men retire to their caves, women harshly go to their pits.

At times, the book just screams idiotic suggestions, other times some helpful tips. But bottom-line is that men and women are different. And there is a beautiful reason for it. Though both souls are whole, through their God given differences, they complement each other.

To apologise for my differences, would be appalling. I should only apologise for making mistakes or for hurting. But never because I'm different. So, if you feel you complement my differences, my bet is that we can always work things out.

July 24, 2007

I had a studio suite in The Gurney hotel. Very spacious. And it suited my needs. Which is within my entitlement plus complimentary broadband access. Good deal. The buffet breakfast had a lot of choices. Much better compared to Vistana Penang. Since the hotel is at the Gurney Drive, it's just a walk away to the open air food court. I wonder why the Malay section is so sombre compared to the Chinese section. It was really lively and happening, with old Chinese classics filling the air. I had the over-hyped pasembor. Haih... they just don't taste the way they used to.

I went to the Spice Garden the day after I arrived. After that I went to eat seafood at this one restaurant, forgot the name. I'll look it up. We had a delicious meal. I think I have the pictures some where... I'll look it up. On the way back to Gurney, we dropped by at durian stall and had a blast filling up "gas". Mind you, the stall accepts MasterCard for payment! He he he...

I had Hameedia's famous nasi kandar on my last day in Penang. Just before heading back to KL. So sedap. And my fingers did not turn yellow. That was my first nasi kandar. Ever.

July 21, 2007

Arrived from Penang about 2 hours back. Dem tired. Traffic was not bad. Only one accident; a huge long trailer went passed the divider to the other side, causing traffic to be standstill towards Tanjung Malim. Sekian laporan trafik pada hari ini.

Don't wanna wake up alone anymore Still believing you'll walk through my door All I need is to know it's for sure Then I'll give... all the love in the world

Dem difficult to trust people these days. The saying goes; Once bitten, twice shy. In my case, it's more than that! So, how can anyone expect me to just follow the path laid bare in front of me, eh? A little more time, a little understanding, a little patience.

July 19, 2007

Received this in email this morning. No video attached though... The email forwarded to me had no email addresses of Najib and Bobby. So, out of curiosity, I Googled and found this version of the email. I also found about the cat... (followed below)

Please watch the forwarded video. Maybe this is just one of the reasons whymuslims are strictly not allowed to eat pork. The pigs are created not foreating. The are created for something else.

In the Holy Quran, God mentions in 4 separate verses that we are not allowedto eat pork purely because the pork is dirty. In Chapter 2 Verse172 & 173, God says:

O believers! Eat the clean things which We have provided you and give thanksto Allah, if you worship only Him. He has forbidden you to eat dead meat,blood, the flesh of swine (pig), and that on which any name other than Allahhas been invoked; but if someone is compelled by absolute necessity, neitherto sin nor to trangress, they shall incur no sin.Surely, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

Similar instruction can also be found in Chapters 5: 6, 6: 145 and 16: 115of the Holy Quran.

I have a Chinese friend who went to visit a pig stye in Malaysiaand he didnot eat pork for many months because he saw most of the pigs were eating andlicking the excretion of the other pigs even when the excretions were aboutto come out, they started to lick them. He almost vomitted.

The animal (pig) is an eater of the highest degree. It is shameless andindecent. They have very high sexual desires most of them are homosexualstoo. It is clear now why it is forbidden. The flesh of such an impure animalwill have similar impure influence on the body and soul of the eater.

It is affirmed that the soul will be affected by the type of food eaten andwithout doubt, the result of a bad thing like pig will be bad.

The Greek scientists have shown before Islam, that the flesh of this animalreduces modesty in one who eats and promote shameless behavior.

Eating its flesh causes distancing oneself from the angels and growing ofthe character contrary to good manners.

The pig is much inclined to impurity especially human excretion, which itrelishes. Its flesh, therefore is developed from faeces and eating is likeeating one's own excretion.

So why does God creates the pigs? We'll discuss this issue separately.

I have to thank you for having interest in Islamic knowledge. It is always apleasure to share with you as well with our religious teachers suchknowledge.

Warmest Regards,

Najib Khan Surattee

QUOTE("BOBBY TAN")Bobby Tan wrote:

Hi Najib,

I only know that MUSLIM cannot take pork because it is uncleaned accordingto your religion. No one has explain to me like you does and even the Bibledoes not mentioned on this subject matter.

It seemed to me that you are very knowledgeable and understand the "KORAN"very well. I am glad and honour that you had taken your valuable time andgoing extra mile to to think and explain to people like me.

Thankyou for taking your time to read this article. I have to make a coupleof comments to your statement below before continuing to explain to you whyAllah created the pig in the first place.

I am also glad that you have decided to stop eating pork after watching thevideo. It is for your own good health.

My comments are as follows:

1. The Bible does mention that it is forbidden to eat pork:

It is also mentioned in 4 separate verses (like in the Qur'an).The verses are:

1. In the Book of Leviticus, Chapter 11, Verse 7& 8:

"Do not eat pigs. They must be considered unclean; they have dividedhoofs, but do not chew the cud. Do not eat these animals or even touch theirdead bodies; they are unclean."

2. The above verse is repeated in the Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 14,Verses 7 & 8.

3. In the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 65, Verses 2 to 4: The Lord says:

"... I have always been ready to welcome my own people, who stubbornlydo what is wrong and go their own way. They shamelessly keep on making meangry. They offer pagan sacrifices insacred gardens and burn incense onpagan altars. At night they go to caves and tombs to consult the spirit ofthe dead. They eat pork and drink broth made from meat offered in pagansacrifice..."

4. Also in the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 66, Verse 17: The Lord says:

"The end is near for those who purify themselves for pagan worship, whogo in procession on sacred gardens and eat pork and mice and otherdisgusting foods."

By now I hope you are purely convinced that pork is dirty and disgusting.

2. My second comment is that you should spell out the word "Qur'an" withthe letter Q instead of using the letter K. God swears with the letter Qaf,the Arabic letter for Q, as in the word "Qur'an" (Chapter 50, Verse 1), andnot the with Arabic letter Kaf, as used in the word "kafir" (unbelievers).

If you go to any bookstore and find some Qur'an with spelling "Koran", as atitle, try to look at the author : 99.9% they are non muslims! These arepeople who do research on Islamic studies and are not having the Islamicfaith. Their translation are usually not accurate and biased to theirpersonal perception on Islam. A good example is a book called "The Koran"translated by N J Dawood, Penguin Classics. The author is a Jew. He did notconvert to Islam.

This is part of the CODE of the Qur'an!

Next, let's talk about why in the first place Allah created the pig.

In the book entitled, "Noah's Arkand the Universal Deluge" by Mohamad YasinOwadally, I quote:

"Two species of animals that did not enter the Arkwere seen coming out onMount Judi namely the pig (and the cat). These animals did not exist beforethe deluge, but Allah created them in the Arkbecause the Arkwas filledwith filth and the human excrements that pervaded and unbearable stink. Thepeople of the Arkcould no longer bore the bad smell, so they complained toProphet Noah (may peace be upon him). Therefore Noah passed his hand on theback of the elephant and lo! The pig came out from the anus of the elephant.The pig complied with the Instructions of Allah, it consumed all the filthand the human excrements within the Arkand the stink disappeared." (I willnot write about the cat here.)

So I hope by now you understand what is the purpose of pigs in this world.They are not meant for eating but for cleaning those dirty stuffs.Otherwise you will not find 4 verses in the Bible and 4 verses in the Qur'anmentioning about it.

In addition to the pork, all meat that are not slaughtered in the name ofAllah is forbidden to the muslims. That's why we can't eat those cakes,sweets, food containing gelatine, emulsifiers etc.

I'll stop here for this topic and hope to share with you on some othermiracles of the Holy Qur'an in future. May Allah bless you!

After the pig was created, the rats were seen in a big number in the Ark. They consumed all the food of the occupants of the Ark and filled the Vessel with filth. The prophet Nuh (a.s.) passed his hand over the back of the lion, which instantly sneezed, and the cat started attacking and eating the rats. Please take note that it is not that the cat did not enter the Ark but it was not created yet at that time. It's taken from the same book.

By the way, cats are considered as a very lovable animals. To love and take care of cats is a sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. May Allah bless those who love cats.

July 12, 2007

I'm going to Penang this weekend. This time around, I expect to be busy and have a lot of things to do. Maybe this time, I won't feel so guilty...

I've got some rereading to do. Things that I do, I have to make sure I have the facts on finger tips. It will be so embarrassing if I have to keep on referring to some outdated documentationS or old colleagues in the office.

I miss having my own digital camera. I admit, it wasn't as if I was clicking away all the time, or carry the camera wherever I go. The fact that knowing it was there and if and when I had the inclination to take pictures, I was able to.

Haih. Patience, Jade. Patience.

Thing is, Jade is now known for her patience. She wants everything to be done yesterday, or at least just now.

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He said that he won't ever forget her expression when he told her his age. He said he felt... insulted. She laughed and secretly said to herself, well... You can't blame me for being surprised my dear.

She said to him the other day, "You do realise that I am almost x years older than you, right?" To which he replied, "Yes. So?" She said, "Nothing. Just saying." And he asked, "Is it going to be a problem for you?" She answered, "Well... no." So he said, "Well, that's fine then. Don't mention it again."

Again, she laughed quietly. Luckily it was a phone conversation.

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You know when you start to care for someone, you tend to close one eye to certain things. You start to adjust your priorities, modify your stand in certain things. You start to adapt. You start to get comfortable. You risk being hurt again. Scary, isn't it?

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God works in mysterious ways. Each one of us will have different path to follow to get closer to Him. And the journey? It will definitely differ from one person to the other. Some will get all the good and nice things. They seem not to make any mistakes. Some will have a mixture of good and bad. Some will have all the lesser things. Nothing they do seem to be right. Well, guess what? Every one of them is tested in different ways.

More often than not, we forgot. Faith is not measured by who you are or what you wear or where you have been. And Faith is not to be measured by another human being. Faith is between one person and God.

July 3, 2007

These days, when I feel a little... disjointed, I will listen to this song. It's one of the Grey Anatomy's soundtracks.

ANNA NALICK"Breathe (2 AM)"

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season."Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyesLike they have any right at all to criticiseHypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cableAnd life's like an hourglass glued to the tableNo one can find the rewind button, girlSo cradle your head in your handsAnd breathe... just breathe...Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."Here in town you can tell he's been down for a whileBut, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smilesWanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it

Cause you can't jump the track we're like cars on a cableAnd life's like an hourglass glued to the tableNo one can find the rewind button boysSo cradle your head in your handsAnd breathe... just breathe...Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnelYou shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be outAnd these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them againIf you only try turning around

2 AM and I'm still awake writing a songIf I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of meThreatening the life it belongs toAns I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowdCause these words are my diary screaming out loudAnd I know that you'll use them however you want to

But you can't jump the track we're like cars on a cableAnd life's like an hourglass glued to the tableNo one can find the rewind button nowSing it if you understandAnd breathe... just breathe...Wooo breathe... just breathe...Oh breathe, just breatheOh breathe, just breathe

It's true. When you feel everything is too much to handle all you can do is breathe. Put your head down and breathe. Then you'll realise whatever is bogging you down, is just another test, and you'll get through it.