i dont think it will really get better for me

I'm in high school now, and obviously it's going to suck because that's what adolescence is. But I keep thinking, wondering if the struggle will really be worth it. I don't think I could be much happier than what I've experienced in previous years.

There's so much bullshit in the world, and it just depresses me when I think about it. But if I don't think about it, I feel like a selfish, ignorant person. Either way, it seems inevitable that I'm just lame. Kind of worthless and pathetic.

Are people meant to be this way? Does it change? I feel like even if I reach a new perspective, the truth is still there.

I'm wasting human resources, sad even though there are people who are ACTUALLY suffering, and I feel really helpless to change it. I think it's actually society and the people that have been molded so perfectly to fit into it that pisses me off.

ok, I just finished high school...and I have to tell you, that those years...and my junior high years were pure hell (I'm sure there are worse hells, but...you don't want to know the stories)...and as you know, a lot of people experience the same thing. That doesn't mean you're going to.
And I'm going to tell you it's worth it,...despite the conformity, the humiliation, the torture (I deserve to be dramatic here xD),
it's worth it because
if you really are passionate, even just a little, about helping this world, about helping the people in it...then you more than likely need to finish college, or at least high school, in order to do that.
For example: I'm joining the peace corps after college (hopefully)
and I want an education so I have something to contribute to other's and to sustain me on my journeys

that sounds weird I know..but...although it's rare, I had a few amazing teachers in high school that changed my life...and I'm glad I endured.
Even though I'm not doing so well now (that's due to my mental issues), I know I will complete college (someday ..
anyway

it DOES change...or if it doesn't, you can change it...I know you can't really choose your high school you can go to a college that's far different, and doesn't act like a factory farm for kid's minds. like Evergreen state college (they don't have grades, they have a really amazing interdisciplinary system, or Hampshire college, more prestigious, but you are in total control of your education..there are many, you just have to research), in college you're going to find more people you can relate to, and more intellectually stimulating discussions...

and yes, college isn't for everyone...but blah blah blah (I'll sound like a parent here): there aren't as many opportunities for people who don't graduate (from at least high school)..and that's seriously true

it's good you're having philosophical crises...I had that too, but I think you just have to keep pushing...and educating yourself along the way.
Be independent, carve your own path..but only if you have goals, otherwise you'll fall through the cracks and it will be difficult to get back.

You are not helpless to change this world, especially if you receive an education...education=power and influence.

Yes, the majority of it is bullshit, yes, school is utter crap..but sometimes...just sometimes, you get those jewels of education, of philosophy, and they're are completely worth it.
Someday, I'll graduate...hopefully with some type of medical training, and be able to offer something to the world,..

perhaps you should be a teacher someday, then you can work on weeding out the b.s.

I don't know what I'm saying anymore, sorry if that did not address your problems at all, I'm in a weird mood. and I'll shut up now <3