You wouldn't expect to see much drama in an official family portrait [like the one taken on July 9 on the day of Prince Louis's christening and released yesterday. But ask professional face reader Dan Hill, author of the forthcoming book Famous Faces: Decoded, and you get a very different story.

CAMILLA, DUCHESS OF CORNWALL

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"Camilla is the most interesting thing in this photograph," Hill says, pointing out the way her upper lip is flared, which signals disgust and anger. Additionally, the lower lid of her right eye is tightened to a straight line, which is the most reliable sign of anger, he notes. "I don't know if she's having a bad day or just really tired of being photographed, but she's the least happy of everyone here," Hill says. "Although she has some competitors."

PRINCE CHARLES OF WALES

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Hill notes Charles's lopsided smile, as evidenced by the very subtle difference in the height of his cheeks, his right side every so slightly more pronounced than his left side. "It suggests the smile is more forced," Hill says. "Whenever you see an asymmetrical smile, it's a little unsettling. I think he's being a good boy and putting it on for the photo."

PRINCE WILLIAM, DUKE OF CAMBRIDGE

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Above, William has much to smile about—ahem, a third child! "It feels like a forced smile," Hill insists, although it's impossible to know exactly why. And yet? "I'm not saying he's unhappy, but the boy in his lap is a lot happier than his father is."

PRINCE GEORGE

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Someone is happy to be alive and king of not one, but two siblings! That. Smile!

KATE, DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE

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"It's not the most ecstatic smile I've ever seen," Hill says, although he's quick to peg Kate as the happiest adult in the photo. But note the curious way her left eyebrow is raised: "You arch your eyebrow in surprise or fear," Hill says, hedging it's the former. "She has a pleasant smile to go with it—it's as if the new child is her pleasant surprise."

At the same time, Kate's right eye, which is slightly droopier than her left, signals exhaustion. Of course, this checks out with her status as a newborn baby's momma, with a "relaxed twinkle in her eye," Hill notes. #ThirdTimeMoms, amiright?!

PRINCE HARRY, DUKE OF SUSSEX

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With some tightness in the lower eyelids, and a smile that ranks on low in the joy department, Harry's expression distinctly hints at anger and toughness he frequently displays when all eyes are on him, Hill says. As someone tasked with putting on a happy face, Hill adds, Harry pales in comparison to his brother and wife, an actress in her former life.

MEGHAN, DUCHESS OF SUSSEX

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"She can be pretty exuberant, but this isn’t an exuberant smile," Hill says of the former actress's facial expression, which he describes as "bland" despite her father Thomas Markle's assertion that she looks terrified and under too much pressure. "Her eyes are flared a bit, and they look a bit wide, which could be a sign that she's on alert, surprised, or angry, but I wouldn't go too far down that road," he says. "There's nothing particularly notable there."

PRINCESS CHARLOTTE

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Turned to look directly at her baby brother, Charlotte's mouth is pursed. "I don't know if it's concentration or annoyance for getting usurped for attention from her mom, and I don't want to judge," Hill says. "But that could be a pouty look on her mouth—there's no radiant smile, that’s for certain."

PRINCE LOUIS

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Just gonna leave this here ^ because they don't stay young forever! May all royal babies be this precious!

Elizabeth NarinsSenior fitness and health editorElizabeth Narins is a senior editor at Cosmopolitan.com, where she covers fitness, celebrity body language, health news, healthy food, and more.When she's not working or working out, you'll find her honeymooning with her husband and Instagramming away.

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