Other Other TopicsDiscussion of arts & entertainment, pop culture, food & drink, health and exercise, fashion, relationships, work, and just about anything else in life except poker, sports, religion and politics.

A friend of mine recently told me that he wipes his arse sitting down. Is this crazy? I have spent my entire life standing up and bending forward to wipe my arse and cannot imagine doing anything else. I just assumed everyone else did it the same way.

Wiping is one of those things that you learn when you’re young - and one of those things that you do so often, you never really think about the fact that there could be other ways to do it. The thing is, I can’t remember when I learned to wipe my arse, is it our mum’s who teach us to do it ourselves, or do we just work it out? Could how we chose to wipe be a reflection of who we are as people?

I thought I would take a moment to discuss the pro’s and con’s of standing vs sitting before I pass judgement:

STANDING:

Pros: Easier access to affected area, immediate gratification of seeing what you made in the bowl, appropriate for quick tactical strikes when out of the house (wipe, flush and trousers up in one movement)

Cons: my friend argued that standing may cause your butt muscles to clench and smear poo before ass wiping can take place. (I’ve never had this problem)

SITTING:

Pros: Relaxing, can continue to read/jerk until fully satisfied

Cons: poor access to affected area, risk of incomplete wiping, potentially slow and undesirable in public

There are of course other considerations when wiping; back to front or front to back?, tissue or wet wipes? Neatly folded or single sheet?...But I’ll leave those for another debate.

I remember the first time this thread happened. I was absolutely stunned it was almost 50/50. Prior to that thread if you would have told me there were adults who stood up to wipe their butts I would have assumed you were talking about people in a mental institution or something.

People who wipe standing,
1) Wipe standing 'til you think your done.
2) Wipe sitting down and look at the TP.
3) Get really excited that you learned something new.
4) Think about it a little more.
5) Cry for hours while sitting on the toilet (and possibly masturbating).