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Saturday, 17 July 2010

The Referendum Bus.

Remember Cast Iron Dave's Cast Iron Guarantee? Cast iron is tough stuff but it's brittle. Nowhere near as brittle as a politician's promise. The EU continues to dictate from afar and even the Coagulated Cleggeron tug their forelocks and say 'yes sir, yes sir, have three bags full of money sir'.

Yesterday I received an Email from this group (apologies for not responding sooner, I was busy with important smoky-drinky things). I quote:

We launched our petition due to the announcement in the Election 2010 Coalition Government manifesto under Political Reform that under new legislation they will ensure that any petition that secures 100,000 signatures will be eligible for formal debate in Parliament and that the petition with the most signatures will enable members of the public to table a bill eligible to be voted on in Parliament. This has created a unique opportunity to embarrass and hold the government to account.

Manifesto promises aren't worth the glossy paper they are scrawled on any more, and this government defines 'listening to the people' the same way the last one did, so the chances of it being debated in parliament are slim.

However, if it turns up in my town, I'll sign it. No, I don't believe the Coagulation will listen but this action is going to get people's attention in a way no online campaign ever could. It will reach those who have never and will never use the Internet. It will reach those whose only interest in the news is the latest celebrity to pop out a boob. It will reach those whose only TV channel is the Mindless Drivel Channel.

The government won't listen. Maybe the people will.

I hope it arrives in Scotland in time for the Scottish elections. Al the Oily Fish promises independence from England but what he doesn't shout so loudly is that he plans to swap it for enslavement to the EU. Oh, it's not just the smoking ban that gets me riled up, but the smoking ban is right at the heart of it. I am not going to listen to 'If we are re-elected we will do away with this ridiculous ban'. I don't believe you. Manifesto promises mean nothing.

So, Al, you're up next. 'Exchange partial control by Westminster for total control by the EU' is another of your new slogans.

It works for all the parties, with minor tweaking. I'm getting quite a collection ready.

Vote for me and I'll sell your body parts to EU millionaires.

Vote for me you smoking scum, and see what real suffering is like.

Oi. Fat boy. Vote for me and I'll put you on a treadmill for six hours a day.

Vote for me if you like a drink. I'll soon put a stop to that.

Vote for me and have Spanish police kick your door in at dawn.

Why bother voting? Just send your money to the government. We're going to take it all anyway.

The best part is, as New Labour proved, none of them have to be even remotely true. Manifesto promises are not binding in law. You can say what you like during an election campaign and nobody can force you to actually keep those promises.

There's another Email waiting in there with some very interesting information on councils and smoking bans. Later...

“Al the Oily Fish promises independence from England but what he doesn't shout so loudly is that he plans to swap it for enslavement to the EU. “

Many years ago that nice Mr Blair negotiated away our rebate in exchange for nothing. He did it for a reason. It was so that the beloved EU could offer to the Scottish people a ‘better deal’ than they enjoyed under the Balfour Agreement, which, I believe, is worth about £1,000 per person. I forget how much that nice Mr Blair gave away, but accumulated over time it will allow the EU to say unto the Scottish people: “forsake ye the yolk of Westminster for we can benefit you the tidy sum they offer without the stain of Sassenach gold**”.

Whatever TB (the human not the other disease) gifted to the EU per annum, it is not enough to replace Balfour. Those nice eurocrats are saving up TB’s gift to buy the Scots at some future date, but the amount they will have (less their not inconsiderable fees) will only be a few years’ worth of subsidy at Balfour rates. Then the Scots will be on their own and totally under the thrall of the EU minus Balfour.

Hmm, I can see some rather nice posters superglued to the insides of toilet cubicles across the land (you need male and female conspirators) adorned with your slogans and an appropriate mug shot. Kind of a captive audience... And you might catch people in a reflective mood, or who need something to read.

PTB - If it was behind the toilet door, the cleaners wouldn't notice. They don't close the door when they're in there cleaning. So posters there could last a while.

DP - if that's true then the Oily Fish is most likely aware of it. He's certainly smart enough to have realised. He's also smart enough to have realised that once the EU take over, he's just a local manager.