It’s kinda sad when you set your expectations really low and a movie still manages to disappoint. Just how low did I set my expectations? Imagine a Limbo Stick is my expectation. Now place said stick flatly on the ground. You can see I didn’t go into this film with great hopes.

“I’m still going to see this film despite what you say!” you mutter in defense of a movie that basically hates you and thinks you’re stupid. I say, “Go ahead then.” Just be forewarned, you’ll need a shovel to dig a hole deep enough to place your Limbo Stick of expectations so that you can enjoy it.

Chernobyl Diaries comes to us just in time for Halloween. This is ironic, as it’s just as predictable as Halloween falling on Oct. 31: Shady tour guide goes missing, unseen things pick off twentysomethings one by one, car is sabotaged, etc. Sadly, somewhere lost in this by-the-numbers bore fest is a good idea from Oren Peli, who created the Paranormal Activity series.

A group of young people embarks on an “extreme tourism” trip by traveling to Pripyat, a small city where the workers of Chernobyl lived. It is now a giant ghost town forever stuck in the fateful day back in 1986 when one of the world’s biggest nuclear disasters happened. It seems the perfect setting for what could have been a very effective ghost story. Instead we get the rather lame radiation-turns-people-into-flesh-eating-mutants story.

The film is full of thinly sketched characters making thinly thought out decisions, which works out wonderfully for this thinly realized horror film. A truly great scene is when the tour guide spends hours trying to reach someone on his two-way radio. It would have been a good plan if the other radio weren’t turned off in the glove box of the van they were in.

None of the characters seem to care that they are walking around buildings and opening doors to rooms that still contain lethal amounts of radiation. But it’s OK that they don’t care, because you won’t really care what happens to them either.

Chernobyl Diaries has a very interesting setting and that’s about it. It is full of creatures that we never can fully see, minutes of completely dark screen-listening to characters snivel and whine while being chased, and only one truly jump-in-your-seat moment, involving a bear.

The average episode of Golden Girls offers more chills than this tepid horror film. If you’re looking for a good movie this Halloween, steer clear of this mess.

Moonrise Kingdom

Wes Anderson fans, rejoice. His new film Moonrise Kingdom is an ever-enjoyable, charming and delightful movie that comes from the director’s heart. Fans familiar with Anderson’s films such as Rushmore, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, and The Royal Tenenbaums will recognize his trademark touches all over his latest film.

Moonrise Kingdom takes place on an island off the coast of New England and tells the tale of 12-year-old boy scout Sam Shakusky and his pen pal/true love, 12-year-old Suzy Bishop. The two plot to run away together. Their plan is set in motion while Sam is at scout camp and he sneaks away one night to meet Suzy in the woods. Their disappearance sparks concern among the adults, especially upon news of an approaching hurricane.

The film is packed with all the terrific images that you would expect in a Wes Anderson film. The main two child stars give great performances and are likable. They carry the film, even one with such talented performers as Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton, and Frances McDormand.

If you enjoy Wes Anderson’s films, you’ll be sure to love Moonrise Kingdom. For non-fans, it’s still a quirky, fun and charming tale that will keep you captivated throughout.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Steve Carrell and Keira Knightley star in this com-drama about the end of the world. The film begins with the world having only three weeks left. Dodge (Carell) has had his wife abruptly leave him, his friends decide to live out their days with an anything-goes attitude, and his job as an insurance agent become meaningless.

It looks like the end of the world has come just in time for Dodge, until he meets Penny (Knightley). The two take a road trip so that Dodge can visit his long-lost high school love one last time and so Penny can be with her family for the end of the world. Along the way, the two predictably fall in love.

I really enjoyed this film and found the funny parts to be laugh-out-loud funny. Problem is, the film doesn’t know whether it wants to be a comedy or a drama and shifts gears suddenly.

I would recommend Seeking a Friend for the End of the World with the caveat that it is neither a comedy nor a drama, but a weird mixture of both.