Are You Marriage Material?

If you’ve ever mulled over the idea of popping the question or have had a girlfriend put pressure on you to do so, you know how life-altering making this decision feels. To help you avoid making any choices you may regret, we’ve compiled a list you can use to evaluate your readiness for marriage. From your demographics to your childhood experiences to your personal values, personality and attitudes toward relationships, we’ve rounded up the five important factors you should assess to determine if you're marriage material.

Demographics

Simple demographics, such as your age when you get married, your level of education and your income can have a surprising impact on the success of your marriage. For example, studies suggest you should be at least 26 years old when you get married (Source: National Survey of Family Growth, 2002, conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics). As well, staying in school seems to have an effect on whether or not you get married at all — 64% of college graduates are married compared to 48% of those with high school diplomas (Source: Pew Research Center). Finally, if your and your prospective mate's combined income is at least $50,000, you have a 68% chance of reaching your 15th wedding anniversary, whereas if your salary falls into a lower income bracket, the likelihood that you’ll ever marry is lower (Source: Pew Research Center).

Made for marriage: You’re headed toward your 30s (or you’re already into them), you have at least one degree under your belt and you and your girlfriend earn a combined minimum of $50,000 per year.

Your attachment style

Your attachment style characterizes the way you behave and feel in relationships, and stems largely from early childhood experiences with your parents. Approximately 65% of children can be classified as having a secure attachment style, with the other 35% classifiable as having one of the other three insecure attachment styles, which are known as anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant (Source: Prior & Glasser, 2006). Adults with secure attachment styles tend to choose partners with secure attachment styles and go on to have lasting relationships. Individuals with insecure attachment styles, alternatively, are drawn toward mates with insecure attachment styles and have higher chances of divorcing (Source: Clarke-Stewart & Brentano, 2006).

Made for marriage: As a child, you had your emotional needs met and were loved consistently. As an adult, your romantic relationships have not been plagued by a pattern of jealousy, continual fear that your partner will leave you or the belief that you’re better off without a relationship.

Your values

Personal values, such as your reasons for getting hitched in the first place and your views on the purpose of marriage, also exert a significant influence on whether you’re marriage material. As well, whether or not you live with your girlfriend before you tie the knot also affects the prospective success of a marriage. Even though it’s now common for most couples to do so, living together before you’re engaged is not necessarily a good test of whether your marriage will work. In fact, it may even be detrimental — as cohabitating actually results in a 6% drop in the likelihood that you’ll stay married for more than a decade (Source: National Survey of Family Growth, 2002, conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics).

That means that if you favor the more conservative route of waiting until you’re engaged to move in, chances are you’ll still be living under the same roof 10 years later. To decide if marriage is right for you, it’s also important to examine what the institution means to you in the first place. According to research, 87% of married people say that marriage is about a lifelong commitment and 81% believe its about companionship, whereas only 59% say it’s about children and a mere 31% site financial stability as a good reason to walk down the aisle (Source: Pew Research Center). What’s more, the quality of the friendship you have with your bride-to-be might account for up to 70% of the satisfaction both of you will feel with the sex, romance and passion in your marriage (Source: John Gottman, 1999).

Made for marriage: Consider it a sign that marriage may be in the cards if you’re ready for a serious commitment, you’ve met someone with whom you have a deep sense of friendship and you’re not rushing into the relationship by shacking up too early.

We have two more things to look at to evaluate your marriage material. That's next...