My Sexy Opthamogist Tried To Kill Me

Cripes. I went to the eye doctor. I like going to the eye doctor. My opthamlogist is a very pretty brunette with a remarkable shape under her modest smock. She looks deeply into my eyes and asks me to talk about myself. Swoon. The climax of our annual assignation is when she dilates my eyes and pronounces them healthy. I leave with a head full of fantasies involving exam chairs, eye charts, and lingerie. Then I step outside, and try to ride home in the unbearably bright sunshine, with eyes that can't see well. The route home involves streetcar tracks, heavy traffic, bridges, narrow bike lanes, and today it seems an inordinate number of large trucks. I can't see my helmet mirror. When I look behind me I see glare and whiteness. Looking ahead is a shifting blur of roadway and large moving things. I know the route well so I ride it partly from memory. Of course today happens to be a blazing hot day with not a speck of cloud to attenuate the midday sun. Somehow I made it to the refuge of my shady neighborhood pub where I am giving thanks for my survival with a thick black pint. My eyes are almost normal and the three blocks home should be drama free. I hope it was as good for her as it was for me.

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Is it better, with dilated pupils, to drive a car or ride a bike? Tough call, I think. One risks you killing people. The other risks getting killed.

My eye doctor in NJ is a mensch, and while I don't have clothingless fantasies, I looked forward to seeing her every year or so. Unfortunately, I moved. I did fix her husband's MTB once. And one of these days, he's going to show me his Frejus.

I have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter. --Blaise Pascal

Is it better, with dilated pupils, to drive a car or ride a bike? Tough call, I think. One risks you killing people. The other risks getting killed.

Hmm, it is darker in the car. I don't think I could ride the bike after the eye appointment. In a car you are under roof and you have the visor that you can flip down. The main problem when your eyes are dilated is really the bright sky. You can't block it on a bike, but you can block it fairly well in the car. Then again, my thoughts come from first, living out in the middle of nowhere, and second, living in PA where you only see a portion of sky that is directly in front of you because the hills and trees block the rest.