In the 1930's, make-up legend Max Factor came up with an invention combining phrenology, cosmetics and a withering pseudo-scientific analysis of a woman's physical flaws. Meet the Beauty Calibrator, a Clockwork Orange style device that analyzes facial ugliness:

"Flaws almost invisible to the ordinary eye become glaring distortions when thrown upon the screen in highly magnified images... the device, remotely resembling a baseball mask, fits over the head and face with flexible metal strips which conform closely to the various features. The strips are held in place by set screws, allowing for 325 possible adjustments. If, for instance, the subject's nose is slightly crooked — so slightly, in fact, that it escapes ordinary observation — the flaw is promptly detected by the instrument and corrective makeup is applied by an experienced operator."

The idea that the face has "flaws" which can be detected by a wire mesh cage wrapped around the head and then "corrected" with pancake make-up is so outrageous (in the truest sense of the word) that surely it must demand a t-shirt be made in order to share this outrage. Isn't it? We thought so.

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Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:01 pm

al(phonic)

Joined: 12 May 2005
Posts: 779
Location: maine

guess i didnt see this shirt the first time around. thats a bad ass design

i cant believe the calibrator device! actually i can, but good lord thats evil. way to sell beauty products, yes, but the poor ladies' must have felt so flawed after such a 'test'. i wouldve gotten fired because i wouldve told all them that their 'test' came back to prove they were a goddess and didnt need any makeup or cosmetic help

may have to buy this for some beauty

Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:36 am

breakreephomophobic yet curious

Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Posts: 6627
Location: Fifth Jerusalem

I for one would like to welcome our new moderator, SFR Announcement.

Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:57 am

LastManOut

Joined: 05 May 2007
Posts: 16
Location: Las Vegas, NV

Coffee Mugs...

I'd love to an SFR coffee mug or a B. Dolan Failure mug. Anything like that in the near Merch future?

Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:07 pm

Klone

Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 383

Re: Coffee Mugs...

LastManOut wrote: I'd love to an SFR coffee mug or a B. Dolan Failure mug. Anything like that in the near Merch future?

hahahaha.
i hope so

Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:11 pm

Dream Inspired

Joined: 09 Jun 2006
Posts: 2121
Location: genoa

sfr beer steins!!!
and bongs!!!!!!

Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:21 pm

malpracticepost haste

Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 1706
Location: ohio

this is a great shirt.

not the greatest photo, but you get the idea.

also, perhaps i should dust off my mirror.. haha. jeez.

Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:09 pm

Sage FrancisSelf Fighteous

Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21671

ah, thanks for posting that photo. I want to start a collection of people wearing our shirts. There have been some good pictures lately, including the one of that Japanese hardcore singer.

Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:46 pm

malpracticepost haste

Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 1706
Location: ohio

Sage Francis wrote: ah, thanks for posting that photo. I want to start a collection of people wearing our shirts. There have been some good pictures lately, including the one of that Japanese hardcore singer.

i will get a better one thats not a ridiculous myspace mirror shot. hah.

Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:24 am

Oh Daesu

Joined: 11 May 2005
Posts: 1848
Location: Vancouver

I would love a knowmore travelmug. Possibly with some facts about starbucks, disposable cups, and/or the coffee industry.

Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:26 pm

Inedible Condiment

Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Posts: 1045
Location: Halifax, NS

Oh Daesu wrote: I would love a knowmore travelmug. Possibly with some facts about starbucks, disposable cups, and/or the coffee industry.

I would love a KnowMore mug. It has to be stainless, though. KnowMore leaching. Something like this, though I'm not sure how you get fair wages and labor in China.

Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:30 pm

Sage FrancisSelf Fighteous

Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21671

still have no idea why we want with the "designer cage" statement over "designer chain."

But that's what we did and we all live with it. You do too.

>:-O

Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:47 am

redball

Joined: 12 May 2006
Posts: 6878
Location: Northern New Jersey

I think that the "[decorated cage] is still a cage" thing is an older expression. I don't know the origins of it. So the thought was to play off of that and use it to criticize fashion, when normally it's used to say that even if you dress up a prison you're still trapped and it doesn't change your situation. Also, while the chain idea is a nicer play on words it doesn't tie into the calibrator's imagery nearly as well. It's a complete package.

Fri Oct 31, 2008 1:19 pm

poisonfree

Joined: 23 Aug 2002
Posts: 1525
Location: Macramento

excellent, my GF is always complaining on the lack of tiny shirts.

I try to explain to her that we are all fat, but she still says "That's no excuse"

*rubs belly*

Purchasing nao!

Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:38 am

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