Some minor suggestions:
* use domus rather than villa (which suggests a country house)
* use the more common noli timere
* nomen ei (dative) rather than nomen eius
* the verb censere (to take a census)
* use deversorium for "inn"
* pastores for "shepherds"
* magi for "wise men"

Thank you very much! Funnily enough, the corrections I received from my teacher turned out to be pretty much the same things that you mentioned! People should make sure to always ask you their Latin questions!!