2009 Darwin Awards

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of
evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene
pool by removing themselves from it.

Sparkleberry Lane
2009 Darwin Award Nominee

(31 July 2009, South Carolina) Two disguised men entered a Sprint store on
Sparkleberry Lane, pulled out guns, and stole wallets, purses, and credit
cards from employees before ordering them into a bathroom. Both men fled,
but they could not flee from their own stupidity. 23-year-old James T. had
disguised himself by painting his face gold.

Yes, in order to conceal his identity during the robbery, James had covered
his skin with spray paint. If this isn't a Darwin Award, what is? Paints
are clearly labelled, do not get on skin, do not get in eyes, do not
inhale. Paint fumes are well-known to be toxic, and the metallic colors
are particularly noxious. James began having trouble breathing (surprise!)
and died wheezing shortly after the robbery took place.

To add insult to injury, the disguise was ineffective. Witnesses were
certain as to the identity of their assailant. Had he lived, James, like
his surviving accomplice, would have been charged with armed robbery.