There is no greater thorn in the side of an obsessively compulsive neat freak like… The Unitasker!

It is a loathsome item, often sold on late-night TV or in airplane catalogs. It is evil because it takes up space in your home and your life without giving much in return. It only does one thing, and usually that thing is really unnecessary or superfluous. Take what is, for me, the paradigmatic example of a unitasker: the Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker. A $50 monstrosity that takes up 8″ x 10″ x 5″ of space and does one thing: heat up your dogs and buns. Ask yourself this: how often do you eat hot dogs?

In fact that’s one of the questions you should always ask yourself when buying a tool like this. How often will I use this? The other question to ask yourself before you ever let anything new into your home is, Will I love and cherish this thing for a long time to come?

Actually, I would ask myself, does my chunky behind need an easier way to make hot dogs? Then I’d cry, eat a whole thing of Häagen-Dazs, fall asleep and consider it again the next day, once I get a massive craving for easy hot dogs.

Okay, I’m embarrassed. I bought one for my Dad for a Father’s Day present a few years ago. In my defense he and my mother work opposite shifts and he needs something quick for dinner. He loves turkey dogs and uses his “dog toaster” as he calls it about three times per week.

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