Thursday, February 18, 2010

Sachiko Murakami - oh, lymphic poetry

It's strange, but I almost wish I were back in Vancouver. I've been working on a poetry manuscript for some time about Vancouver's conception of itself - the vague, frantic rhetoric of the World Class City, the rapid building up and tearing down that's happened over the past century, the strange relationship it has with its lack of "native" architecture (and its troubled relationship with its Native heritage)... all of which are really coming to a head with the Olympics. And now there are so many Olympic-reaction events happening all over the city: Riot Songs at the Tent City, Safe Assembly (including the - luckily webcast - Short Range Poetic Device readings, Abandon Normal Devices at W2... Thanks should be made to organizers like Steve Collis and Nikki Reimer for getting the word out, especially to farflung folk like me.

I'm just not much of a sporting person. Competitions aggravate my anxious temperament. In team sports, someone throws a ball at me and I duck/run away. I suppose I just don't get it, the way the people who are screeching GO CANADA in my Facebook feed don't get why we can't all just shut up and enjoy the games. In the spirit of anti-competition, then, over on my blog on Tuesday several poets helped me out in writing a collaborative poem. Here is what it ended up looking like. (Original is here.)

If you prorogue willinglyIf your spirit says something other than go, go goIf suspending democratic rights allows you to cheer wholeheartedly for your countryIf your country is representedIf its citizens areIf a red mitten, no snowIf you are prorogued without consentIf while cheering on your country you find yourself in contact with a citizen who disagrees with youif neither of you own a red mittenIf poetry is a competitionIf the world is watching youIf I am Canadian!If the poet ends up on the podiumIf you prorogue poetry for the duration of the OlympicsIf your spirit does not involve the nationIf the nation is a piece of fan fictionIf you skiIf you skyIf you sighIf you do it not for the nationIf not for the stateIf for youIf against usIf you're not with us (in red mittens)If you confuse poetry with a Molson's ad, with pablum, with one muzzled voice.If your country is more than hip checks and TimbitsIf nationalism makes Timbits no more or no less deliciousIf contests trump context and contracts make dog actsIf you can skate on frozen Coca-ColaIf poetry is written by committee and dignity is reported as ignominyIf a collaboration is more useful a spectacle than a competitionIf the ice makes a pleasant sound while crackingIf men in black jackets, white cars, say "dance!"If smurfs boogie-woogie on the bonafide WonderlandIf you can swing your hips nowIf you can locomote, without a Coca-Cola, but a big fat cheese-curdy poutine in handIf you unhinge your inner RielIf Ben Mulroney makes you twitch, twitch, twitchIf you can resist innumerable Spirit Bears lobbed at you in Lite Brite,If you feel underestimated in fourth placeIf a fly can't bird, but a bird can fly, give them both silverIf positivity is compliance, spiritualizedIf lymphs swell proud as woolen mittens Then pus white Then redIf your noun is unsanctionedIf your protest is brandedIf ifIf you take the slam out of poetryIf publicIf pedanticIf iceIf the mittens make us itchIf didacticism wakes us up in the morning and lyricism stopped answering our phone calls when we called it an idiotIf we once referenced modernism in a crowd of academics when we should have referenced post-modernism and then were quickly reminded of our irrelevancyIf we live in a country that confuses criticism with jealousyIf we're always either too snobby or not snobby enoughIf we are lessIf glowing adulation makes us think we're the ones with the problemIf we refuse to believe that charisma should cover for talentIf "jejune" was our middle nameIf my we is not your weIf nationalism makes us uncomfortableIf tepid makes us feel safeIf not now, when?If not us, who?If farmed salmon causes throat swellsIf you drown in quilt-size maple leavesIf you fled from polar GodzillaIf you cried when Celtic Satan flew down on his space canoe to destroy the Na'viIf only "D'oh the Podium"If priorities are the wrong Ministry and privilege is assumed like a national emblemIf the torch could keep us warmIf fashion before functionIf we need a medal to beIf you couldn't find a single TV in downtown Olympic Vancouver to watch the men's short program figure skating during the hockey gameIf the male employee in HomeSense told you, eyes bulging, in his blue employee shirt, his hand on your shoulder, that the GENERAL CONSENSUS for the nine HomeSense TVs is hockey and the female employees said "Sorry, I like figure skating too," nine TVs of hockeyIf the nice female employees at the Telus Booth in Pacific Centre told you that they are legally bound to play CTV on the giant TVs at all times so, no, you couldn't watch figure skating here, just hockeyIf you don't have a sponsorIf you then went to the Mac glowing cave in Pacific Centre to watch the figure skating on live stream on the web (somewhere?) and were told by Mac employees, no, because Sportsnet, because you can read cookbooks on an iPhoneIf you feel unCanadian in a downtown colonized by hockeyIf you went to a peaceful protest overseen by police on horseback in yellow riot gearIf the enforcement of peace through hockeyIf hockey in Earls, black glass and girls with reservations and boyfriendsIf hockey players in riot gearIf figure skating in the streetIf the Canadian identity is debated on the CBC with Shaun Majumder, Ian Hanomansing, and a poetIf Owning The Podium and Racial Identity can be mentioned in the same sentenceIf giant polar bears roam around the Tent CityIf Homes truly are a Civil RightIf red jerseys colour the streetsIf ten-year-olds with backbacks wearing red jerseys make you fall over by leaning their full body weight into you on the 135 when it's stopping short. And the bus driver packs everybody in past the yellow line.If flags are fashionIf national pride is a human interest storyIf you prefer IPA to CanadianIf you sort of love Shaun MajumderIf cherry blossoms, crocuses, and daffodils beat out snowIf green is the new redIf F.U. hand stitched on red mittensIf we all "owned" our "own" podiumsIf the north was just the northIf the weather protests loudest