Most people would consider getting fired due to their increasingly bizarre antics a wake up call. For Charlie Sheen it's an opportunity for an even bigger payday. Chuckles has inked a deal with Lionsgate Television to create and star in a new sitcom. A source says, "Charlie's character will be very similar to the one he played on Two And a Half Men, however the show will be a lot racier." That's great, because we're running dangerously low on dirty, unfunny comedies. A bidding war is currently underway between the networks, and TBS is the frontrunner. Charlie won't be paid $2 million per episode, but he stands to "make more money than ever before" — if he manages to hold it together through the first season, that is. [Radar]

In a blog post about Ryan Dunn's death, Johnny Knoxville says he loved him and calls him his brother, but adds, "I'm becoming upset now because this isn't right, goddamnit. Ryan, I had to go wake up Madison and tell her you were gone. Do you know how hard that was?!! She loved you so much and I know you loved her, so why, buddy? Rocko will never get to know you like she did, nor will my daughter that is coming in October. I cry a lot about that." [TMZ]

A Texas gold trader bought Michael Jackson's "Thriller" jacket at auction for $1.8 million and plans to use it to raise money for children's hospitals. It's also a wise investment, because when the dollar collapses pop memorabilia will become our currency. [RS]Yeardley Smith says that Michael Jackson handpicked a MJ impersonator to sing "Happy Birthday Lisa" because his record label wouldn't let him. TMZ calls this a "bombshell," but haven't Simpsons fans known this for years? [TMZ]

Yesterday Chris Wallace tried to backtrack on his statement during his interview with Jon Stewart that Fox News tells "the other side of the story. "Jon seemed to think it was a big deal that we tell the other side of the story," said Wallace. "While I wish I had said the 'full' story, here's what I meant." He then spent several minutes explaining that the network tries "to provide a fuller perspective." [The Wrap]

The Backstreet Boys would be willing to appear on Glee. No one from the show has expressed any interest, they're just saying. [Hollyscoop]

Julie Benz is engaged to Rich Orosco, her boyfriend of four years. [People]

Dawn French says she recently lost four-and-a-half stone (or "uh, like a lot?" for you Americans) for health reasons. She adds, "I never really care much about what the shell is and everybody is much more interested in it than me. And I'm quite surprised about that." [Daily Mail]

Shia LaBeouf says of his February bar brawl, "He was just being demonstrative, antagonizing me in front of a crowd of 50 or 60. My mother said it was below your dignity to engage in it ... There's something in a 24-year-old mind where you're in front of a lot of people you respect and love and you're getting ready to ship off and go do a movie about the most violent brothers in Georgia who sell moonshine [his upcoming film The Wettest Country In The World] and you're sort of rooting for a certain mentality. And somebody approaches you and you're in the wrong thinking and you're drunk. I have no excuses. I'm not happy with it, but I don't think it's a calamity." [Us]