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My 4b/4c hair is sooo dry and so thick! It naturally grows thicker–like a sphere, not down towards my shoulders. It will get big–like a big balloon or Afro around my face but it won’t likely ever hit my shoulders. Having long hair and having a lot of hair are two different things, and I think while I help my hair become healthy and strong–I’m going to have a lot of it.

It isn’t a bad thing. If my hair decides to just get big, good for it. I’m not going to manipulate it or use certain products that will change the way it grows. Some natural girls have a very defined curl pattern but…I don’t! My hair, even though it is twisted every night, is very straight. Yes, it is straight. It’s like a ball of fluff. Fluff isn’t really curly, is it?

<—This is my hair after a twist-out with tons of product in it. Maybe I should have had more defined curls, but no…I just had no definition it it…it still looked the same as it always has. My hair doesn’t “curl”. I guess I do just have Afro hair, and not curly hair. It would be such a misconception to call it Curly hair but not having an curls in my hair.

I used to get soo much hair envy when I saw naturals with all this endless hair but I realized my hair is not like their hair. My hair is just my hair. If it will get long and thick, boy am I going to work for it, but my hair isn’t going to magically grow, sprout curls and be perfect. I’m not going to walk into a hair and beauty store looking for the “solution to my hair” because my hair is not the problem. My negative views about my hair is the problem. Whether I like it or hate it, my hair is going to remain the same.

I can understand why going natural can be so daunting. You see all these beautiful women with long, gorgeous curly hair and you wonder how your own dry, coarse cottony hair can ever look like that. And the best thing to do is just be realistic, don’t set absurd expectations about your own hair. You could be pleasantly surprised or deeply disappointed. Not everyone is a hair mixtress or a Youtube diva, and not everyone has the time or money to do what those girls are doing to their hair. And you guys have different DNA and different hair and bodies. You eat different foods, exercise differently. It is hard to say if your hair will turn out the exact same and grow in the same amount of time as the Youtube girl. Just love your hair, even if you don’t know exactly what it is.