Happy Second Annual Paheeba Day everyone! Since Pajiba Love is one of the precious few columns on this site written by someone with a healthy, functioning vagina, the show will go on as scheduled.

And this being Paheeba Day, I have to start off with a little something for the ladies: People's Sexiest Man Alive, Mr. Johnny Depp. But in all seriousness, I know most of you ladies love yourselves some Depp but I am not feeling it. Dude used to be a piece but these days he just looks like a greasy gargoyle. (Litelysalted)

OH. MY. GOD. Here is an actual cross-section of Twilight fans who showed up at the New Moon premiere. My favorite is sunglasses-mustache old dude who is proudly holding up the "Team Jacob" sign. (Film Drunk)

And with that, here are six of the emo'est vampires who ever emo'ed. (PW)

Finally, with all this goddamn New Moon frenzy reaching a sparkly pitch, here's a reminder as to why we still hate Twilight. (A Whole Lot of Nothing)

The A.V. Club put together this fantastic piece on the thirty best television series of the aughts, which has similarities to our own twenty best seasons of the past twenty years -- although this one actually includes The Sopranos since we're still not tired of not hearing the end of that. Thanks to Kballs for the heads up! (AV Club)

Oh, yiiiiikes. This could be awkward. Apparently Disney-Pixar's Up shares its name and uh, certain similarities with with a 1976 Russ Meyer sexpolitation flick. Images NSFW! (FourFour)

"Dancing with the Stars" is finally nearing the light at the end of the tunnel or the monster at the end of this book or what have you. (Hairballs)

Zac Efron's attempt at a legitimate and less ridiculous film career has been thwarted by an overzealous movie poster designer. (Agent Bedhead)

I guess at least the guy is fairing better than his High School Musical co-star, Ashley Something-Or-Other, whose biggest post-HSM accomplishment to date is wearing a bikini. (Superior Gossip)

Bob Saget is going to host a new A&E reality series called "Strange Days" which will explore weird American sub-cultures. it actually sounds pretty tits other than the part where Bob Saget is the host of it. (Screen Junkies)

Speaking of unfunny, hack comedians, Rob Schneider made a HUGE ASS of himself on a Palm Beach morning radio show. No, you know what -- Rob Schneider is no Saget. Saget has much more class than this. (Warming Glow)

If you're a horror movie villain in the deep South, chances are you're getting a little mother-sister-father-brother-cousin-lovin' action, so here are the most inbred movies of all time. (Bloody Disgusting)

True story: Sarah Palin's memoir had been described as the "greatest literary achievement by a political figure in [a] lifetime." (Deus Ex Malcontent)

I actually posted this video once before a long time ago, but just happened upon it again today and honestly, I can't think of a better way to cap off my Paheeba Day Pajiba Love. Whether you're digging it again or just seeing it for the first time, here is "Chainsaw Maid":

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.