The irony is that this film tries to convey the notion that the universe is full of love and will do everything to accomodate true love while all it actually does is reaffirm that the universe really is a vile bitch/asshole (pick your gender) that is set out to make you as miserable as possible by, for example, flinging nonsensical shit at you for 118 minutes.

(He's also been nominated for two Razzies. If there is any justice in the world, the third is coming very soon.)

Descriptions of the crazy plot details -- evil Russell Crowe, immortal demons fighting for control of New York, [FAMOUS MOVIE STAR REDACTED] as the Devil himself -- all convinced me that this would be a fun time at the theater. But, alas, no. There are a few laugh out loud moments, including every second involving [FAMOUS MOVIE STAR REDACTED], but otherwise, this is too serious and sincere to drift too far into camp territory. Weirdly, even though this is Goldsman's first movie as a director, it's…

The tagline for Winter's Tale reads as follows: This is not a true story. This is true love. Oh, okay! Thanks for letting me know this is a fabrication Mr. Goldsman, I honestly had no idea! You had me there for a moment, Winter's Tale. I'll let you in on a small secret my little magnum-opus, I actually did think that Will Smith was Satan. And that Russel Crowe was Irish. And even that Colin Farrell would allow himself to sport the most astonishing and off-putting haircut in all the land. You are not artificial or mawkish in the slightest but rather a stunning, philosophical examination of life itself. Well done first time director Akiva Goldsman who had the nerve…

I'm actually raising the score on this, because as it turns out, when you watch more movies, you don't just see more good ones... you also see more bad ones. Also, this is funny enough that a one seems harsh.

The ONLY thing holding this back from being an amazing bad movie is it's length. Shave off thirty minutes, and this would be masterpiece level. I just wish that this and Daredevil weren't my first run-ins with Colin Farrell.

It might be unfair to give this film a one star rating after only watching ten minutes; but by that token it's also unfair that I would have to sit down and watch this utter poo for 2 hours before I could state my first impression, "this is poo".

A steady stream of endless gobbledygook. It frankensteins together a wacky hodge-podge of random mythology. Everything's coated with so much thick sap, I'm not sure who this is even supposed to appeal to. People who can rank all of the Disney Princesses, maybe? Weird wild stuff.