Thursday, July 31, 2008

There is something stirring inside my breast. It swells when the moon is high.

I am worried more about what is above than what is below.

We are all trying to find our way, and as far as I'm concerned there is only one way up.

Sometimes I worry that its all been an elaborate trick upon myself- and the worst part is, is that I've been the one whose done it all. I pretend like I dont care what others think of me, and to some extent i dont. But I know that where it really counts I do- and there is no way around that.I know the secret to an enlightened state. The path is simple and obvious. It's trying to follow it. It's trying to be that person. That is where I falter, because in truth I do care how people see me. I want to fit in, it's not bad being popular. A great fear is being outcasted, and that is what I must do to get to that place that I say I want to be. A great fear is that maybe I could really, possibly be, someone who is special. Someone who can tap that light of the divine in them self. Because if I do have that light- then I am different, abnormal, one to be outcasted. The masses dont want to hear the good news, because it goes to opposite of their lifestyles. I'm more afraid of the light inside of me then the dark. I think I can control the dark seas and tides, I can hold them back. But the light, it pours out, it streams out like from the cracks in dusty floorboards. What if we all have that light? Maybe we do. I am no more special than anyone else in this world, and I think I have it, therefor we all have it. But so few of us let it out.

[When did I become so shallow? When did fame become more attractive than glory?] - when I sold out to the world.

In a quest for right Intention I must look at my intentions in this world and strike out those I find to be un-pure.This begs the question.* Do I really want enlightenment? * Can I handle the trials? *Who do I want to be?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

So as far as general life: I havn't been working that hard- well I have and I havn't. I need to kick my ass into gear. Editing, writing, finding a job. Enjoy everything, remember how truly blessed you are, how wonderful the people you know are, how many people you know, how many opportunities that I have.

With Art: I want to do documentary. Maybe TV? I want to travel. I should start making small films. Work on that resume. Minatour.tv

Remember all the things you used to love. Photography, reading, all the things that were me, acting. Don't forget!

With Girls:Why do I stress out so much? Why do I care? I say I don't want a relationship, but I act like I do. I say I don't want sex, but I act like I do. Start acting like how you want to act. That will be the best move that there is.

Friday, July 11, 2008

I. THE BIO-SURVIVAL CIRCUITThis invertebrate brain was the first to evolve (2 to 3 billion years ago) and is the first activated when a human infant is born. It programs perception onto an either-or grid divided into nurturing-helpful Things (which it approaches) and noxious-dangerous Things (which it flees, or attacks). The imprinting of this circuit sets up the basic attitude of trust or suspicion which will ever after trigger approach or avoidance.

II. THE EMOTIONAL CIRCUITThis second, more advanced bio-computer formed when vertebrates appeared and began to compete for territory (perhaps 500,000,000 B.C.). In the individual, this bigger tunnel-reality is activated when the DNA master-tape triggers the metamorphosis from crawling to walking. As every parent knows, the toddler is no longer a passive (bio-survival) infant but a mammalian politician, full of physical (and psychic) territorial demands, quick to meddle in family business and decision-making. Again the first imprint on this circuit remains constant for life (unless brainwashed) and identifies the stimuli which will automatically trigger dominant, aggressive behavior or submissive, cooperative behavior. When we say that a person is behaving emotionally, egotistically or 'like a two-year-old,' we mean that s/he is blindly following one of the tunnel-realities imprinted on this circuit.

III. THE DEXTERITY-SYMBOLISM CIRCUITThis third brain was formed when hominid types began to differentiate from other primate stock (circa 4-5 million B.C.) and is activated for the linear left-lobe functions of the brain, determines our normal modes of artifact-manufacture and conceptual thought, i.e., third circuit 'mind.'

It is no accident, then, that our logic (and our computer-design) follows either-or, binary structure of these circuits. Nor is it an accident that our geometry, until the last century, has been Euclidean. Euclid's geometry, Aristotle's logic and Newton's physics are meta-programs synthesizing and generalizing first brain forward-back, second brain up-down and third brain right-left programs.

IV. THE SOCIAL-SEXUAL CIRCUITThe fourth brain, dealing with the transmission of tribal or ethnic culture across generations, introduces the fourth dimension, time.

Since each of these tunnel-realities consists of biochemical imprints or matrices in the nervous system, each of them is specifically triggered by neuro-transmitters and other drugs.

To activate the first brain take an opiate. Mother Opium and Sister Morphine bring you down to cellular intelligence, bio-survival passivity, the floating consciousness of the newborn. (This is why Freudians identify opiate addiction with the desire to return to infancy.)

To activate the second tunnel-reality, take an abundant quantity of alcohol. Vertebrate territorial patterns and mammalian emotional politics immediately appear when the booze flows, as Thomas Nashe intuitively realized when he characterized the various alcohol states by animal labels: "ass drunk," "goat drunk," "swine drunk," "bear drunk," etc.

To activate the third circuit, try coffee or tea, a high-protein diet, speed or cocaine.

The specific neurotransmitter for circuit four has not been synthesized yet, but it is generated by the glands after pubescence and flows volcanically through the bloodstreams of adolescents.

(I think MDMA is in part a 4th-circuit activator that promotoes social cohesion - Paul)

NONE OF THESE TERRESTRIAL DRUGS CHANGE BASIC BIOCHEMICAL IMPRINTS. The behaviors which they trigger are those which were wired into the nervous system during the first stages of imprint vulnerability. The circuit II drunk exhibits the emotional games or cons learned from parents in infancy. The circuit III "mind" never gets beyond the permutations and combinations of those tunnel-realities originally imprinted, or abstractions associated with the imprints through later conditioning. And so forth.

But all this Pavlovian-Skinnerian robotism changes drastically and dramatically when we turn to the right lobe, the future circuits and extraterrestrial chemicals.

The four evolving future 'brains' are:

V. THE NEUROSOMATIC CIRCUITWhen this fifth "body-brain" is activated, flat Euclidean figure-ground configurations explode multi-dimensionally. Gestalts shift, in McLuhan's terms, from linear VISUAL SPACE to all-encompassing SENSORY SPACE. A hedonic turn-on occurs, a rapturous amusement, a detachment from the previously compulsive mechanism of the first four circuits. I turned this circuit on with pot and Tantra.

This fifth brain began to appear about 4,000 years ago in the first leisure-class civilizations and has been increasing statistically in recent centuries (even before the Drug Revolution), a fact demonstrated by the hedonic art of India, China, Rome and other affluent societies. More recently, Ornstein and his school have demonstrated with electroencephalograms that this circuit represents the first jump from the linear left lobe of the brain to the analogical right lobe.

The opening and imprinting of this circuit has been the preoccupation of "technicians of the occult"--Tantric shamans and hatha yogis. While the fifth tunnel-reality can be achieved by sensory deprivation, social isolation, physiological stress or severe shock (ceremonial terror tactics, as practiced by such rascal-gurus as Don Juan Matus or Aleister Crowley), it has traditionally been reserved to the educated aristocracy of leisure societies who have solved the four terrestrial survival problems.

About 20,000 years ago, the specific fifth brain neurotransmitter was discovered by shamans in the Caspian Sea area of Asia and quickly spread to other wizards throughout Eurasia and Africa. It is, of course, cannabis. Weed. Mother Mary Jane.

It is no accident that the pot-head generally refers to his neural state as "high" or "spaced-out." The transcendence of gravitational, digital, linear, either-or, Aristotelian, Newtonian, Euclidean, planetary orientations (circuits I-IV) is, in evolutionary perspective, part of our neurological preparation for the inevitable migration off our home planet, now beginning. This is why so many pot-heads are STAR TREK freaks and science fiction adepts. (Berkeley, California, certainly the Cannabis Capital of the U.S., has a Federation Trading Post on Telegraph Avenue, where the well-heeled can easily spend $500 or more in a single day, buying STAR TREK novels, magazines, newsletters, bumper stickers, photographs, posters, tapes, etc., including even complete blueprints for the starship ENTERPRISE.)

The extraterrestrial meaning of being "high" is confirmed by astronauts themselves; 85% of those who have entered the free-fall zero gravity describe "mystic experiences" or rapture states typical of the neurosomatic circuit. "No photo can show how beautiful Earth looked," raves Captain Ed Mitchell, describing his Illumination in free-fall. He sounds like any successful yogi or pot-head. No camera can show this experience because it is inside the nervous system.

FREE-FALL, AT THE PROPER EVOLUTIONARY TIME, TRIGGERS THE NEUROSOMATIC MUTATION, Leary believes. Previously this mutation has been achieved "artificially" by yogic or shamanic training or by the fifth circuit stimulant, cannabis. Surfing, skiing, skin-diving and the new sexual culture (sensuous massage, vibrators, imported Tantric arts, etc.) have evolved at the same time as part of the hedonic conquest of gravity. The Turn-On state is always described as "floating," or, in the Zen metaphor, "one foot above the ground."

VI. THE NEUROELECTRIC CIRCUITThe sixth brain consists of the nervous system becoming aware of itself apart from imprinted gravitational reality-maps (circuits I-IV) and even apart from body-rapture (circuit V). Count Korzybski, the semanticist, called this state "consciousness of abstracting." Dr. John Lilly calls it "metaprogramming," i.e., awareness of programming one's programming. This Einsteinian, relativistic contelligence (consciousness-intelligence) recognizes, for instance, that the Euclidean, Newtonian and Aristotelian reality-maps are just three among billions of possible programs or models for experience. I turned this circuit on with Peyote, LSD and Crowley's "magick" metaprograms.

This level of brain-functioning seems to have been reported first around 500 B.C. among various "occult" groups connected by the Silk Route (Rome-North India). It is so far beyond the terrestrial tunnel-realities that those who have achieved it can barely communicate about it to ordinary humanity (circuits I-IV) and can hardly be understood even by fifth circuit Rapture Engineers.

The characteristics of the neuroelectric circuit are high velocity, multiple choice, relativity, and the fission-fusion of all perceptions into parallel science-fiction universes of alternate possibilities.

The mammalian politics which monitor power struggles among terrestrial humanity are here transcended, i.e., seen as static, artificial, an elaborate charade. One is neither coercively manipulated into another's territorial reality nor forced to struggle against it with reciprocal emotional game-playing (the usual soap-opera dramatics). One simply elects, consciously, whether or not to share the other's reality-model.

Tactics for opening and imprinting the sixth circuit are described and rarely experienced in advanced rajah yoga, and in the hermetic (coded) manuals of the medieval-Renaissance alchemists and Illuminati.

No specific sixth circuit chemical is yet available, but strong psychedelics like mescaline (from my 1962-63 "sacred cactus," peyotl) and psilocybin (from the Mexican "magic mushroom," teonactl) open the nervous system to a mixed-media series of circuit V and circuit VI channels. This is appropriately called "tripping," as distinguished from straight-forward fifth circuit "turning on" or "getting high."

The suppression of scientific research in this area has had the unfortunate result of turning the outlaw drug culture back toward fifth circuit hedonics and pre-scientific tunnel-realities (the occult revival, solipsism, Pop Orientalism). Without scientific discipline and methodology, few can successfully decode the often-frightening (but philosophically crucial) sixth circuit metaprogramming signals. Such scientists as do continue to study this subject dare not publish their results (which are illegal) and record ever-wider tunnel-realities only in private conversations--like the scholars of the Inquisitorial era. (Voltaire announced the Age of Reason two centuries too soon. We are still in the Dark Ages.) Most underground alchemists have given up on such challenging and risky self-work and restrict their trips to fifth circuit erotic tunnels.

The evolutionary function of the sixth circuit is to enable us to communicate at Einsteinian relativities and neuro-electric accelerations, not using third circuit laryngeal-manual symbols but directly via feedback, telepathy and computer link-up. Neuro-electric signals will increasingly replace "speech" (hominid grunts) after space migration.

When humans have climbed out of the atmosphere-gravity well of planetary life, accelerated sixth circuit contelligence will make possible high-energy communication with "Higher Intelligences," i.e., ourselves-in-the-future and other post-terrestrial races.

It is charmingly simple and obvious, once we realize that the spaced-out neural experiences really are extraterrestrial, that getting high and spacing out are accurate metaphors. Circuit V neurosomatic rapture is preparation for the next step in our evolution, migration off the planet. Circuit VI is preparation for the step after that, interspecies communication with advanced entities possessing electronic (post-verbal) tunnel-realities.

Circuit VI is the "universal translator" often imagined by science-fiction writers, already built into our brains by the DNA tape. Just as the circuits of the future butterfly are already built into the caterpillar.

VII. THE NEUROGENETIC CIRCUITThe seventh brain kicks into action when the nervous system begins to receive signals from WITHIN THE INDIVIDUAL NEURON, from the DNA-RNA dialogue. The first to achieve this mutation spoke of "memories of past lives," "reincarnation," "immortality," etc. That these adepts were recording something real is indicated by the fact that many of them (especially Hindu and Sufis) gave marvelously accurately poetic vistas of evolution 1,000 or 2,000 years before Darwin, and foresaw Superhumanity before Nietzsche.The "akashic records" of Theosophy, the "collective unconscious" of Jung, the "phylogenetic unconscious" of Grof and Ring, are three modern metaphors for this circuit. The visions of past and future evolution described by those who have had "out-of-body" experiences during close-to-death episodes also describes the trans-time circuit VII tunnel-reality.

Specific exercises to trigger circuit VII are not to be found in yogic teaching; it usually happens, if at all, after several years of the kind of advanced rajah yoga that develops circuit VI facility.

Circuit VII is best considered, in terms of 1977 science, as the genetic archives, activated by anti-histone proteins. The DNA memory coiling back to the dawn of life. A sense of the inevitability of immortality and interspecies symbiosis comes to all circuit VII mutants; we now see that this, also, is an evolutionary forecast, since WE STAND RIGHT NOW ON THE DOOR-STEP OF EXTENDED LONGEVITY LEADING TO IMMORTALITY.

The exact role of the right-lobe circuits and the reason for their activation in the 1960s cultural revolution now becomes clear. As sociologist F.M. Esfandiary writes in UPWINGERS, "Today when we speak of immortality and of going to another world we no longer mean these in a theological or metaphysical sense. People are now traveling to other worlds. People are now striving for immortality. Transcendence is no longer a metaphysical concept. It has become reality."

The evolutionary function of the seventh circuit and its evolutionary, aeon-spanning tunnel-reality is to prepare us for conscious immortality and interspecies symbiosis.

VIII. THE NEURO-ATOMIC CIRCUITHold on to your hats and breathe deeply--this is the farthest-out that human intelligence has yet ventured.Consciousness probably precedes the biological unit or DNA tape-loop. "Out-of-body experiences," "astral projection," contact with alien (extraterrestrial?) "entities" or with a galactic Overmind, etc., such as I've experienced, have all been reported for thousands of years, not merely by the ignorant, the superstitious, the gullible, but often by the finest minds among us (Socrates, Giordano Bruno, Edison, Buckminster Fuller, etc.). Such experiences are reported daily to parapsychologists and have been experienced by such scientists as Dr. John Lilly and Carlos Castaneda. Dr. Kenneth Ring has attributed these phenomena to what he calls, very appropriately, "the extraterrestrial unconscious."

Dr. Leary suggests that circuit VIII is literally neuro-atomic--infra, supra and meta-physiological--a quantum model of consciousness and/or a conscious model of quantum mechanics by the turned-on physicists discussed previously (Prof. John Archibald Wheeler, Saul-Paul Sirag, Dr. Fritjof Capra, Dr. Jack Sarfatti, etc.) indicates strongly that the "atomic consciousness" first suggested by Leary in "The Seven Tongues of God" (1962) is the explanatory link which will unite parapsychology and paraphysics into the first scientific empirical experimental theology in history.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I knew herWhen the universe exploded into a billion lightsMagdalen,Bright Dark and BrilliantWhose Love and Sadness were EverywhereDesert FlowersRiversDust.When they took meAnd tried meMy agony was in leaving her.Death was simple.Lilies growIn some places Where we Were.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Slightly down today. Not sure why. A multitude of things I guess. What is best is to start writing. Much more writing. That's what I need to be focusing on. I need to work on the Children's Film Screenplay [It needs a title].

So let's sketch something out.

'The Donkey is Tired- No more free rides'

Sometimes I'm worried that I've already spent to much of my magicThat we all have a certain amount, that I tapped inTo Early, To Often, To Constantly

Ridiculous but fearful nonthelessNot worth dwelling on yetNothing is that isn't between the two Scarabs on the wall

One has it's eyes openOne has it's eyes closedMove in between slowly like an act of love

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Love is knowing your mom is always a phone call away, the alpha and the omega of all of this, seeing through the illusion to the true nature that connects us all, being the gathering with family, having faith, the brightest sun in the hottest desert, the blessing of us all, the mud on my feet, covers it all, honoring it all, to act out with patience-kindness-selflessness, the strength to keep your heart stretched open wide enough so you can step aside and let wholeness in, knowing that you belong, bonding with another on all levels, shouting “We Love You”, thinking with your heart, grace…that which flows into us from the universe and out from us into the universe, an open hand extended with glad fingers, living awake in a moment, listening with your whole being, pure and divine, the promotion of life, making beautiful harmony, true appreciation, life’s motive, being a friend no matter what, centered-ness extending into connection, thinking of someone every day, my soul with no control, wonderful, letting go of your prejudices and being free to comfort anyone, the foundation for family, connecting humanity to the world, being nice even when you don’t feel like it, the non-blinking eye looking at another, empowered by the Light of Life, doing something…not talking about it, energy moving, transcendental and awe inspiring, makes you whole, respect, riding the wave of pure truth, grokking everything that is, and really wanting to have the last cookie but letting someone else have it.

Love makes our hearts beat in unison, peace and tranquility, how a person understands their intimate living connection to all of creation, patience, flow, the Breath of Spirit, the willingness to stay present with our experience, willingness to be fully there, courage, Holy, acceptance of constant change, using your heart to hear love, always coming from a place of compassion, and the freedom to be vulnerable and let your guard down.

Love is leaving your guitar under your tarp because it is raining after breaking a string…and coming back and not only is your guitar there…but your string has been replaced.

Love is affection you never forget, remembering wherever you are someone is thinking of you, an undeterred stirring of beautiful minds, the rainbow, tasting spiritual ecstasy at every moment, and food for the soul.

Lust is selfish and love is selfless.

Love is having a green heart, the selfless act of giving yourself to someone and everyone, dancing with your soul open and free, oneness-realization…internal experience of deep deep knowing all of this is one divine organism, makes hard things seem easy and problems more workable, all cosmic beings enjoying acceptance and divine truth, mutual recognition and appreciation, letting out vivacious exuberance, ego-less, home, summer rain in the fields, without fear, being able to give up control, being ever connected with someone, something, and everything while still being free, the presence you feel when you are alone and you still feel whole, exists in everything.

Love is our original instructions.

Love is everything – without it there would be nothing.

Love is my seventeen-month year old daughters’ innocent eyes and beautiful smile…I knew she loved me before I gave her any reason to. Love is the cure-all medicine, and the blissful we all feel when we all feel when our life is in harmony with the Divine.

Love is all…when love becomes One Love…there is no separation: all possibilities become one possibility: which is only love…and thus duality is non-duality.

Love is empathy, when taking on the world is a piece of cake, reminding each other of how beautiful we are, trust in glorious companionship with the Divine and one another, attention to detail, 1 Corinthians 13.

Love is comfortably soft wombish warm and sexlectic.

Love is unlimited unconditional Divine Rainbow.

Love is external reflection of the beauty inside all creation large and small, different for everybody…but fundamentally the same…

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Love is:(Gathered from many sisters and brothers in the forests of Pocahontas County, West Virginia)

Love is blossoming into the full spectrum of rainbow vibrations inside your heart, the connections between, enjoying life and being excellent to one another, a family that you can share life with, a gift to be given, a river of living water that comes down from heaven above, a seed that goes into a tree connected to the root inside of you, kind and beautiful, the hands of the Lord wrapped around you, knowing that you are not just friends but that you are family, trading your sister’s shoes for your own because they were giving her blisters…and then getting blisters yourself, a positive share of enlightenment, an open mind and an open heart, when you are always good to yourself…it shows you how to treat everyone else, acceptance, an unconditional feeling that all is forgiven, constantly changing your perception in order to accept self and others unconditionally, when you look up to a smiling day…knowing life in its wonderment, laying your life down for your friends, and placing your deepest trust in the Great Spirit.

Love is not simply for things or ideas or even people…love is to accept both the adversity and the harmony…the defects and the perfections…the ephemeral and the permanent…the ignorant and the enlightened…all implicit in the symphony of our existence

Love is an ineffable effulgence, the most powerful thing in the universe, Creation, growth from the crack in the void, the ripple of time can only be understood with heart and feeling, being kind in life, the fabric that holds us together, and trust.

Love is everything, it is infinite and finite duality…the only force that unites everything in everyway.

Love is patience and honesty, free and infinity abundant. Love is tenderness, the highest form of creation experiencing itself, to be beautifully and wholly bound to something.

Love is to be a mother.

Love is recognizing each other by looking at each other’s eyes, perfect, to bear another’s burdens, God, on the tips of our tongues, the sustenance of the soul, the key emotion that can saves a species, overcoming the want for materialism and finding peace, not to be owned but shared, here and now, stillness in ever flowing water, opening up and surrendering to the divine, realizing that there is no God, bowing to all being great and small – seen and unseen, and always being able to find happiness…it will follow you and spread…overcoming the negativity around you.

Love is that luscious tickle inside your head, and happens when the ego goes…and the spirit can manifest its expressions into and through the human mind. Wisdom is the fruit of love.

Love is committing yourself to love everyone, not wanting to change you, being here in this moment, being present with all your relations, the eternal orgasm, the quintessence of the universe, that overwhelming rush that fills you, whenever you hug a friend, or give a gift, or see Mother Gaia, bear her beauty before you, respecting the earth, faith, patience, the eternal connection between the super-soul and God, blessing life and everyone with the best most transcendental part of yourself, and the music of angels playing on the harp of our hearts.

Love heals, transcends, nurtures, and shines in the magic of our most high inner selves.

Love is the diffusion of self – the merging into the realm of the other, be now.

Love is a stranger who helps you and asks nothing in return, melting in bliss…absolutely healed…home, the direction away from fear, freedom from yourself, freedom to be yourself, service to others without thought of self, following your intuition, enthusiastic, the bliss you will find…love in a kiss, looking at creation and seeing its beauty, allowing, consistency against obstacles, non-judgmental forgiving, resonance with everyone and everything, peace and contentment, the most important essence in our existence, with each other, the understanding that we are all the same, sharing everything you have with your heart through your hand, a magic happy dance covered in the sauce of time, the joy of creation, taking time in the morning to find beauty in the dew of a spider’s web to the sweet beauty of a sleeping child.

Love is sharing your own beauty with others, the utmost understanding and appreciation of what surrounds us, being safe within a group, the need to take care of someone else, the ability to open your heart to other people, welcome home, when your lady gets her your car impounded and you stay with her anyways, when two people can be in complete silence and are content, love makes life beautiful.

“We talk far too much. We should talk less and draw more. I personally should like to renounce speech altogether and, like organic Nature, communicate everything I have to say in sketches. That fig tree, this little snake, the cocoon on my window sill quietly awaiting its future – all these are momentous signatures.”

A person able to decipher their meaning properly would soon be able to dispense with the written or the spoken word altogether. The more I think of it, there is something futile, mediocre, even (I am tempted to say) foppish about speech. By contrast, how the gravity of Nature and he silence startle you, when you stand face to face with her, undistracted, before a barren ridge or in the desolation of ancient hills. (Goethe)

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I was on a certain thought process in the fall, and I had lost sight of it. But now, in the warmer mad months the idea comes back to me. It's somewhat difficult to explain, so I'll tell a little story to attempt to give it a visualization. ||Last year at the burn, the wonderful Kerry Taylor, was working on the Big Rig Jig.She had told me on the phone that there were going to be two rooms inside the trucks in which you could crawl into. So when the sculpture was opened, I climbed on up, and I got to the first room in the lower fuel container. There was a group of 6 or 8 people sitting in there talking. We talked for awhile, and then I asked if anyone had been to the higher level. One of them women told me "there was no higher level" and continued on talking, and another person told me "not to climb over there, it was dangerous and not meant to go on". After contemplating for a few minutes, I climbed over to the 'edge' and looked up. Sure enough, there was another room up there with 3 people in it. The others from the lower room were distracted, and I pulled myself up into the room.

It made me think about how readily people are to believe that, "there is nothing up there," before they ever even really check. I wonder about all this in regards to mental ability. What can we do with our minds? I'm not sure.But I think there have been extraordinary people on this planet, that have known there was an upper room, and while everyone else was distracted they climbed on up, and got an amazing view of reality from it.

How do you get there? Where is the map? I don't know. The only reason I found the upper room on the sculpture was because someone else, who had already been there, told me about it. Without knowing there was more, I could not have wanted that more. So I struggle to find who has truly been to those places "up there", and how I can follow....but maybe following isn't the best way. Maybe I need to cut through the forests of my interior alone.