A Woman Explains Female Birth Control Methods

THE RING (aka THE NUVA RING)
• She inserts this flexible ring into her vahoohajaynanny, where it releases hormones similar to those in the pill.

• It’s “worn” for three weeks, taken out for one, and then replaced with a new ring.

• You probably won’t notice it during sex, but you might if you manually stimulate her. Um, try not to yank it out, if possible.

• Because of the way the ring works — it increases blood flow to her nethers, stamps out PMS, and doesn’t eff with her hormones like the Pill — your lady may very well experience a noticeable spike in libido every fourth week.

• That week of unbridled sex craving happens to coincide with her period. If that grosses you out too much to take advantage of her randiness, you’re less than a man.