Roger Goodell made it illegal to bring purses into stadiums. The scourge of women fans who love the NFL just as much as we men may finally come to an end, thanks to fearless Rog. Personally, there's nothing worse than when an attractive girl dons the jersey of her favorite player, puts her ponytail through that team's baseball cap, and pounds just as many beers as the menfolk while rooting her team on to victory. I mean, blech! It's worse than 20 fat girls twerking, amirite? Roger has only our best interests at heart. Really.

The Niners (and I'm sure other teams are doing this too) a coupon to pick up a free clear plastic bag with the team logo on it so that we can bring stuff into the stadium. Even though my gf's purse (and every other woman's) was searched before entry to every game. So I'm not really sure WTF this is supposed to accomplish, other than alienating up to 50% of each team's fanbase. Oh, and we can no longer bring in seat cushions, either. Because those are obviously deadly weapons as well. If you don't know how they can kill you, you're probably already dead and just don't know it yet.

Roger is the man. I wish Peter King would write a love letter to him in EVERY issue of sports illustrated. I mean, how many pushups did he do this morning? 10 million? 50 million? The people demand to know!