No One Ever Writes, No More

It occurred to me, one day, when I went to read my favorite blogs.

No one ever writes, no more.

Yeah, double negative. Deal.

Why don't we write?

Me?

Mostly because I sit in front of a computer, and by the end of the day, I'm so dreadfully sick of myself and of looking at a screen, that I can't think of one thing to say - and really, when I sit in front of a computer all day

what is there to say?

And when you sit in front of a computer, you really can't say much, because your job precludes you from really saying much, because there's that whole privacy thing. It's a strange dichotomy of saying too much and saying nothing at all.

We all had babies, once upon a time, all of us bloggers, we all had babies. And all of our babies grew up together. We were a community. A tight knight community, a place to share and bond and grown and support each other. A place to help and support and be there for each other, to lend a hand and a heart and a shoulder and

And now our babies, they've grown into super cute kids. And those super cute kids are all, don't you tell that story, don't talk about it, it's not about you, it's mine, all mine and you don't dare talk about some of the things that you really do want to talk about because those things, man

those things are the dark things, the deep things, the ugly things, the things that hide in the closet and come out at night, the things with teeth and fangs and the wickedly evil things that scare us and make us afraid. They are the things, the things that if others knew, if they knew, they might not talk to us, they might talk (about) us or (around) us or (over) us or (through) us rather than to us.

I'm now five for six in kids who have been referred for a therapy of some type. I'm not saying what type of therapy, I'm not saying which kids, but I am saying that it does make one feel a certain type of fail as a parent.

People say, "Don't be so hard on yourself! It's genetics! It's environmental! You did all you could do! You've been a great mother! You do more than most mothers out there! You are involved! At least you are getting services for your kids, there are lots of moms who don't! Hopefully, you've gotten help in time and your kid won't end up shooting up a building!"

Words are just words, man.

I'm learning, an awful lot, about a lot of things that I never thought I'd learn about, and that I never really thought I'd ever have a need to know. So, yay for a learning opportunity?

I used to blog, and I used to read and comment on your blog. Now, I am in the season of working outside the house, sports activities, orchestra performances and running around town. Also I returned to school in which I am required to write A LOT. I enjoyed your blog very much in my different season. 😊💕

I tried blogging twice and couldn't manage my way through the first commenters - and they were nice! They just seemed to demand more from me than I wanted to share. I still love reading blogs, and yours remains a favorite, Carmen, because I always feel like either I "get" you, or you "get" me - something hard to describe.

You aren't alone. My youngest is super smart, kind, generous, a leader in his activities, teachers love him and compliment his class participation - but he is completely uninterested in school, and may not graduate high school. Look at all those positives - why do I feel like a GED would break my heart? it's more revealing of prejudices I didn't think I had than anything else. Sigh. Therapies? Check, check, and check. I am trying to be a 70's mom, living my own life and blaming the kids for their own problems. (Was that just my mom? She's great, and I love her, and she will readily admit to this. It seems so much easier. I struggle.)

Can we talk about menopause? Empty nests? Grandchildren? The decay of the body while there are still those older than us Crossfitting their way into the best shape of their lives? Cholesterol? I don't mind if the posts are fewer or shorter, but I would miss the blogging community terribly if it faded away.

Oh Carmen I am so there with you. I have been thrown some major curve balls with our children BUT it sounds like your kids are talking about the things that are in their closets and that is a blessing. One of my kids came to me this year to share something that was a shock......I did respond with grace as did my husband but still.....I have been plagued with guilt and why didn't I see this thing.....but what I am learning is that WE ALL HAVE CLOSETS of both good and bad. I am supremely proud of my kid for talking with us and is now in counseling. Another child is uber smart and blows it away scholastically but is plagued with anxiety and now we are dealing with panic attacks and migraines.....fun times at our house I tell you. This I know - as a nurse and mom, I take my kids to the doctor when they are sick.......we are now dealing with emotional issues and other private (closet) issues so we need help. No shame in that. I refuse to live under shame or guilt. We will get through this and I know my kids will be more compassionate and more grateful and God willing more whole.

Support My New Shoe Fund!

Help Buy Me A Coffee

About Me

Carmen Staicer is a whirlwind of energy and execution, who never sleeps and drinks way too much coffee. She works from home as Social Media Programs Manager for SheKnows, and is the mom to six kids, most of whom play instruments, sing or dance and all of whom are much smarter than she will ever be. In other words, her house is never ever quiet or still. A concentration of asthma, food allergies, spectrum disorders and learning disabilities means that she spends an awful lot of time second guessing herself and Dr. Googling, as well as learning to cook everything the family might like to eat. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boxing (she has her Black Belt in Muay Thai), sleeping, exploring coffee shops, photography, ballet class and cooking. She excels in being a smart mouth and has her major in sarcasm, with a dual minor in BS studies and avoiding laundry.