Starting in July, Air France customers flying on the Airbus A318 will be able to send text messages and emails from their cellphones. Fantastic. Not so fantastic: Three months later, they'll be able to make voice calls (shudder).

During the trial run, each customer will be asked to fill out a questionnaire about the service at the end of the flight—hopefully most people will be smart enough to write that the service drove them to contemplate gruesome suicide, otherwise Air France will be deploying the tech, which uses a "leaky cable" for signal conversion, on all of its flights.

We can only hope that if worse comes to worst, the probable $2.50-a-call fee will cause fliers with "leaky" mouths to do their best to keep them plugged.