Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

Does this explain why other states were represented in the inaugural parade by world-class marching bands and decorated war veterans but Illinois was represented by a bunch of guys in purple ponchos doing the "cross and toss" maneuver with old lawnmowers?

Mentioning His Daveness in the same sentence with my soon-to-depart governor is a crime against nature.
(I just finished watching Blago's 'closing argument', which consisted almost entirely of eloquently defending himself against minor controversies about how he accomplished his Many Good Deeds for Seniors and Babies, and totally ignoring the audiotapes which were the cornerstone of the prosecution. Looking forward to the rebuttal in a few minutes. Chicago...where the fun never stops!)

This is easily settled. We know where Blago was between approximately 10 and 11 a.m. CST (Central Sucking Thighwound?) today. Now all we need to know is where Dave was. No, "posting on the blog" doesn't cut the mustard.

And come to think of it, "The Blog" and "Blago"? Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not.

Oh, God, I see that Meanie had already done "The Blog" vs. "Blago" thing. I hadn't noticed, possibly because a 1.75-liter bottle of vodka was obscuring my view of the monitor. In any case I wish that this person, although obviously one of the most intelligent beings in the universe, would stop anticipating my posts.