Monday, June 15, 2009

Jack for all trades

“Ah!You’ve inherited my Number One”, said granny when we moved into our new home in her backyard.What she alluding to was yellow, strong smelling and exactly what you were thinking of: A small innocuous variety of Jackfruit that she’d planted in the corner of her garden, now the driveway to our home.

In the twelve years that we’ve been here, Number One has faithfully yielded smallish yet absolutely delicious crops of crisp, non-fibrous fruit- the best I’ve ever tasted.This year however, it’s gone crazy.Over 30 huge fruit dangle obscenely from various parts of its long spindly trunk.We think the extraordinary yield is because it’s finally managed to pierce through the crown of the heavy mango tree that had been shading it all these years.

The produce from Number two, a much heavier yielding though marginally less crisp variety in our backyard, has always been reserved for friends, visitors and colleagues. This year, the thought of dealing with the bumper crop from both the trees is enough to make us all ignore them steadfastly, rather than deal with the sticky mess of cutting them down and processing them.

At work, this time of year has always been eagerly anticipated.All my chakka*-starved mallu colleagues at work would wait eagerly for the season, so I could bring and dump some yellow goodness on them.“In my nayteew, we used to get like this oLLy. My andy used to make jaam with jayckfruit, yinnow, chakkavaratti?” They’d say. “Blurgh yes. Notte quiteh my favouriteh”, I’d think.

The Tam gumbal would pipe up from random corners of the office “Bunrotti palaa* you have eatena?Supera irukkum”, they’d say.“What on earth possessed anyone to name a village Bun-rotti?” I’d think.

Last year, an oldish gentleman walked in from the road and helped himself to a fruit off Number One.He was making slow progress down the road thanks to the weight and prickliness of the fruit.“But, aunty gave it to me”, he said with a practiced expression of goggle-eyed innocence when we caught up with him.Aunty (my mother), who under normal circumstances would have paid him to get the fruit off her hands, quickly snatched it back from him.She did not take kindly to people her age calling her aunty.

As for this year, I don’t think we can pull off ignoring the bumper crop any more.The trees are groaning with the weight and the squirrels are making rude noises at us while they tunnel through the ripening fruit.We’ve already commenced negotiations with Numbers One and Two in an attempt to convince them not to ripen too quickly (or ever).I’m also making a Tibetan-style endless-loop CD with the words “Must deal with jackfruit”, set to a tinkly contemplative tune to play while the family sleeps.

If all the above doesn’t work, we’ll need some help.Any volunteers? Be fair warned that you will have to deal with the cutting and scooping yourself.We’re too posh for all that soht of thing dahling.

78 comments:

Harini
said...

ohh...fond memories!! :) ..we used to have jackfruit trees in my dad's factory and every jacfruit season we used to have lots of them promptly delivered to our house...which of course wud be then be distributed to all thattas, pattis, attais, chittapas, maamas, athimbers, neighbourhood maamis and random people who visited home :)...ahh the pleasure of being a tam brahm household I say! :D

I volunteer I volunteer *Jumping up and down*....will cut scoop clean up the whole mess...in short will do yanithg to get may haands on this chakka...need my address brother?? nopes it's not of Kerala u see othervise why will I write to you?? para para...

Long time ROTFL lurker....howda maraayare, halsina hannina happala thindiddeera? yenthaa ruchi antheeri??!!! Flicked the nostalgia switch - used to participate with grandmom and assorted aunties in peeling and making happla in the summer - of course had to stand guard over the drying happlas and kaka ootufy too :)....keep the blogs coming - love the talkies, lunchtime in Electronics city almost caused a hernia :))

(For this only, my F-i-l, level crossing putting no, big gate, that one he fixed in the compound. After that, around tree thorn bush brought and put.Where, we'll see, my children, now how robbing you will do?)

Missus has a Mangalore uncle, who related this one. Priceless I thought, though not many have shared in my mirth, but what the hell.

There is a girl in uncle's office in mangalore, the telephone operator, who had been, for decades, trying to get married. Sadly, severe horoscope issues prevented this from happening.

Uncle was thus extremely happy for her when she landed up one morning with a basket full of sweets and distributed them around the office. "Maduve agutade anta" (getting married it seems) explained a co-worker (kindly excuse glitches in lingo).

"Who is the lucky man", uncle asked, gallantly, of her when she came to give him sweets"Avaru Napoleon, sir", she said, blushing."Napoleon? Christianaa?" Uncle was puzzled. She came from a conservative Hindu family. Marrying a christian would probably meet with opposition at home."Illa sir. Pure hindu avaru. Napoleon."she reiterated

It took uncle a good bit of cerebral effort to figure out she was marrying someone from Nepal

aaahh....bikerdude..... found ur blog quite some time back..... thought u were hibernating in siberia or somethin! yes, hamaare yahaan kathal ki sabzi banti hai... am a thorough panju from delhi! glad to know people still have gardens and fruit trees in their homes.... not much such luck in delhi...

Great post, left me in splits! Also made me yearn for Jack fruit in the middle of the night. Brought back a lot of childhood memories, with dad peeling it & sis & I gulping it down... one large fruit devoured in a matter of minutes... LOL

haii where you had tolged kannaa? just the other day i was describing jackfruit to my boss. she was not very excited when she heard 'it kind of looks like a massive bee hive'. kindly send parcel for me no. my mother makes me eat canned jackfruit. it is the most horrible thing you can imagine.

OooooooooooooooooooooooooDon't share it with too many people. We luuuuuuv this fruit. I buy canned ones and my kids make funny faces. We are arriving on July 19. Pliss to keep few fruits for us. We buy them in Jayanagar complex and my little one munches them and finishes them before get home!!!! No sharing there!

In Mysore my mom even uses the jackfruit seeds for kolumb. Yummmmmmmmmmm.....Thanks for the lovely post. A picture is worth a million words :D???

madras Paati's "pala mushu' and Bama mamiyar's style of cooking it...looks like there is a Bama and her 'mamiyar' to talk about in every Tam Brahm family. now I tell mine 'pala mushu' resembles mutton curry, i can guarantee u ,they wud stop cooking this 'booring' dish! thanks for the idea!

Aye, thoo ninna! Jesht I came to yuvar blaag eegeega, read-u, enjaayed so very muchu (my friends & I talk like this vanly, what you know?)..I must have read every bleddy WORD from start (125B.C, when you opened this writing business)to finish, thinking, 'now he will write, now he will write'..then saw minss, next posht did not forthcame ataal. Rraiitrrs block va? Entha money oru khunsistency illathathu?

hey biker,i wonder where you get so many good ideas.by the way,my dad's office is full of jackfruit trees.he never brings any home(against his ethics,calls it stealing).His boss had a close shave with a falling jackfruit.it been chaar saal baad and the trees havent improved their aim.

HAA. You reminded me of all the halsina hannu season craziness at my place. Removing those 100 pound fruits from the tree is such a pain, since it is rainy season at the same time. We almost have to call fire brigade to do it ! But in the end the yellow fruit is worth it!

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