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Patrick Cooper

6th grade. It was like every male in middle school discovered the word “virgin” all at once. It appeared on our tongues overnight, like a rabid ulcer. I was slow to pick up on things back then. Slow to care about what the other fellas were into. My mind was occupied with Weird Al lyrics […]

Louis sat in his car and watched her house. At 2pm he grabbed his briefcase off the backseat. His fingers brushed against the fabric warped from his daughter’s baby seat. Mrs. Allen answered the door after the second round of Louis’ knocks. Her dark ponytail was pulled up into an askew bun. Her narrow cheeks […]

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Me: Let’s talk about how it all started. Myself: How what started? And I: Ha! The pickpocketing. Me: Yes, can we talk through that? Myself: Yeah, that’s fine I guess. I don’t get how it’s all that fascinating, or worth its own essay, but we can. And I: It’s cause you were poor, just admit […]