The Best Not-Taco Tacos in Dallas

The Pig Carnitas at CBD Provisions
Let me tell you what happens when you order the Berkshire Pig Head Carnitas. You get a big half of a pig's head -- teeth, cheek, tongue and all -- with the skin-crunch so deep you feel it in your socks. It comes with radishes, kick-ass salsa, and tortillas. Unnecessary personal note: This meal was the way I treated myself for my 30th birthday. My family and I ordered two. (Side note: If you order two, one-half pig heads, is it halves of the same head? Just curious. Asking for a friend)

Even with two this thing doesn't sit for long. If you're feeling weird about the pig head, push past it. Just quickly open your hand, put a tortilla and a pile of pork-radish-salsa in it and you'll forget about it. You'll forget about every thing else. This is a death row meal.

Two Hundred Korean Tacos at SSahm BBQ
This is one of Dallas' best Not Taco that's under 10 bucks. You probably don't need two hundred, but they're that good. Each is three dollars. If you get the spicy, but just-touched-with-sweet pork, you're in Not Taco but Taco wonderland. Comes with lettuce dressed with sesame and soy, cilantro and onion, "Korean Salsa" roja, and -- the best part -- spicy mayo. And cheese. Food sometimes tastes better when you're standing up.

The Migas at Jonathon's in Oak Cliff
There are few things that make the food center of the brain dance more than when you get a to-go meal from a great Dallas restaurant, in the styrofoam flap container, and it's got a heaviness that indicates you've got a meal. So, this one's a heavy pile, but it comes with tortillas folded delicately like dinner napkins, and they make for brilliant Not Tacos. You're looking at turkey chorizo, egg whites, cheddar and spicy-salty potatoes. The salsa is smoky and savory, and makes them sing. I got sour cream too, which makes them more Not Taco than taco.

Courtesy Lockhart Smokehouse

The Brisket Tacos at Lockhart Smokehouse
You already know Lockhart and their brisket, which means you should already be in the car, fish-tailing into the Bishop Arts district with a quivering hand full of money. I mean, look at those things? It's happy (they don't have them every day, so you might want to call ahead). It's chopped brisket -- you know, from Lockhart Smokehouse -- with cilantro and pico. If you add a pickle or two, that'd be OK too. Do it. You're already eating Not Taco Tacos. Note: best consumed with a Antarctic-cold beer.