In the late 1930s, my great-grandfather, Heinrich Hachmann, was a German aeronautics engineer. These were the dark days of the Fatherland, after a devastating world war and before the nightmare that became Nazi Germany. According to family legend, a team of shadowy men visited my great grandfather one night. By candlelight they told him about the Third Reich and the way things were to come. They asked him to build him an army of mechanical wings, so that the each German soldier could reign destruction from the skies.

Heinrich refused.

Instead, he escaped to America, bringing his wife, Else, with him. Those wings were put to good use, for sure: as the wings powering a team of elite soldiers fighting the Nazis both at home and abroad. As a German, Heinrich could not serve in the American army. But under a mask, he could. Heinrich and the men who served with him became known as the "Hawk-men" - a joke, to be sure, at first, for the Americans constantly tried to pronounce Heinrich's last name as "Hatch-man" or "Hack-man." No, he reminded them, it was pronounced like the bird. And they remembered that tale at battlefields like Devil's Cave - stories that became part of the secret war between the Allies, the Nazis, and...something else. Now, the shield - a hawk upon a crimson field - is all that is officially left of the legend of Hawkman.

Today, Hawkman's tale is much different. DC Comics adopted the tale to make the character a true superhero, hailing from Thanagor with a race of winged warriors. Some balderdash about n-th metal and magic scepters also makes an appearance. Granted, old Heinrich was also a bit of a talker when he had his schnapps, so the family legend might not be entirely true, either. (Or even a little.)

Still, many years ago today, the Hawkman took to the skies, providing comfort and inspiration to legions of men and women. The Hachman Twitter account lives on, providing knowledge, insight, and occasional bouts of humor. The Hawkman account has also inspired several talking animals (or those posing as talking animals) to come forward and tell their own tales. It is those we honor in the following pages. Cute critters, no doubt, but with a power and gravitas all their own. Hail!

1@BronxZooCobra

In March 2011, a cobra at the Bronx Zoo escaped, becoming a symbol of freedom for all wrongfully imprisoned reptiles everywhere. Yes, there was an outcry. But BronxZooCobra's penchant for snark has endured, even after being recaptured.(Image Source: VegetarianStar.com)

2@ChoupettesDiary

Choupette’s Diary features the tweets of designer Karl Lagerfeld's cat. Yes, that Karl Lagerfeld. Poor Choupette is a put-upon "spoiled pussy" who has a complicated relationship with "Daddy": "Sometimes I think Daddy loves his gloves more than he loves me."(Image Source: Harper’s Bazaar)

3@KardashianKat

KardashianKat enjoys a pampered life. Unlike Choupette, "Kim Kardashian’s cat" flat-out dislikes her mistress, meowing snarky tweets like "Sometimes, in life, we just have to make important sacrifices. Have mercy. RT @KimKardashian: Up early. Mani-Pedi time. Still half asleep."(Image Source: TheNewsTribe.com)

4@common_squirrel

Common_Squirrel is well, a common squirrel hiding out in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park (or is it Tehran?). The squirrel masks a rapier wit and thoughtful insights behind "dig," "stare," and ""run run run." A touch of schadenfreude can also be detected.(Image Source: Twitter)

5@TheRealPaleMale

Pale Male claims to be the first red-tailed hawk to nest in a building, have sired 25 chicks, and "will pimp slap anyone that says otherwise." Unfortunately, even the bird's chicks have left the nest; the account is down to 13 followers as of this writing.(Image Source: P.S. 6 School Newspaper)