About Me

Some of us have a tenacious grip on reality. We observe and assimilate and take care of others. We engage with our community and tend to the business of family and friends. Sometimes this grip can become calcified. Sometimes it becomes unutterably painful. At that point we have to open our fist and see what’s in the palm of our hand.

I want to introduce you to my friend Lisa. In her outstretched palm I see compassion, creativity, the blessing of faith, the gift of humor, and the grace to share it with others.

Welcome to A Gripping Life.

*Lovingly written by my very gifted and beautiful friend, Vickie Lester.

Thanks for deciding to follow my blog. Just a few suggestions before any serious reading…you might find it helpful to partake in an alcoholic beverage (or if that isn’t your fancy, I highly recommend a large quantity of sweet tea), find a suitable comfy area to recline, put up your feet, indulge in reading, and occasionally scratch where it itches…lol. Most of all just have fun.

Thanks Lauren! I try to mix it up a little. I mostly enjoy the great comments. I’m so impressed by everyone I’ve encountered, it’s such a great community of blogging friends. Glad you joined in. I look forward to your contributions!

I thought it would be a good safety net. I started out doing a post every day and adhering to this format — fast forward 5 months and I’ve fallen off my “schedule” and I’m posting only 2 or 3 times a week!!! haha! Now I’m in the willy-nilly club! So glad you stopped by!

I’m trying to become more acquainted with your blog. I really like what I’m finding, but I have a few questions. First (not related to your blog) from the comments you left me this morning I have to ask, are you a member of the Church? And second, your not Lily in Canada’s mom, are you? If you are it would make sense (in a good way)

Yes, indeed. I am Lily’s mom, something I’m very proud of. I’m also LDS. My mom is a convert and my dad is Catholic. I started going when I was 6 or 7 and got baptized when I was 8. I grew up in New York where, at the time, there weren’t so many LDS. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel, even when I went to BYU. I just do what feels right. I definitely embrace the spirit of the law, I’m not so much a letter of the law kind of gal. I hate all the check lists and “shoulds”. Anyway, I appreciate your style and openness and non- judgmental ways. Very refreshing.

I’m becoming increasingly impressed with the Church, through its members. I sit and watch President Monson give a uplifting, touching talk, interspersed with humor and wonder “why don’t all the members have a sense of humor?” They do, they just haven’t shown it to me yet.

I know that feeling – when you find regular/normal Mormons walking around it’s a happy thing! I’m pleased that you have that fresh perspective, a sense of humor and you don’t get uptight. It can be a tricky balance sometimes. I often remind myself that the Mormon culture and the gospel are two very different things. Members often forget this, the line gets blurry. (especially if you grew up in the church). Don’t be sucked into the culture. This is why I LOVE converts.

Thanks, Robin! I started out with good intentions and stuck to my schedule, but now that the weather is nice my posting has slowed down significantly. Oh well.
I’m glad you’re enjoying it. There’re a bunch of great people on here – you’ll get a kick out of reading the comments. Lots of funny bloggers.
Welcome!! Glad you’re here!

If we lived closer… I would so love to be having this conversation over Monday coffee!
Sometimes it takes a lifetime to build a friendship. Other times you just “know” right away that in a second you are going to be friends for a lifetime…
Hey that’s good… if I do say so myself… lol.

You seem to have a nice structured and entertaining blog here! I’ve been trying to set a schedule for my blog since I started it. I have come to the conclusion that I just can’t do it. My whole blog is potpourri. Anyway, I’ll certainly be back.

I’m glad you stopped by! Yeah, I started out sticking to the schedule and then it all fell apart. Now it’s like a potpourri hodge- podge mess! haha! I hope you re-visit! By the way, you look just like my younger (beautiful) sister. : )

Great intro! And I don’t believe in writer’s block, sometimes its time to write, sometimes its not. Just go with the flow! You write beautifully and are interesting. You’ve got me hooked already, so you are already transitioning! And I’ve got 20 pounds to lose too, so when you find a way, please let me know. Blog it or something…Lots of love, Yaz

Thanks, Yaz! Your comments are very kind and encouraging. I think I need to either get rid of my current schedule which I haven’t followed in months. When I first started it gave me structure – it was also like a security blanket. haha!
I’m trying to get serious about losing this weight, in fact I think I’m going to take a long walk right now. The weather here in Northern Illinois is BEAUTIFUL.
Have a wonderful day and thanks again!
Lisa

Having a schedule like that is a fantastic idea! Even if you don’t follow it at least you have some rough inspiration and guide to what you could write about.
I recently joined the gym over here in Russia but made the mistake of not asking to see the gym before paying out and signing up. Turns out it’s just one tiny room with one of each machine in it (for roughly £25/month). My enthusiasm for going to the gym really dropped after that.

That shouldn’t make me laugh but it does! It’s almost what you’d expect, right? i just joined a gym, too. I’m sure they’re VERY different! haha! At least you have something to write about.
I’ve fallen off my schedule and I’m thinking of making a new one. I think I just wanted a safety in case I started running out of ideas.
Thanks for checking in : )
have a great day!!
Lisa

Hey Kid, I thought I would clutter up your world a little bit by giving you a reader’s appreciation award…you can find it at http://liferevelation.wordpress.com/…hope you enjoy…btw let’s get together this coming week and take over the world…be encouraged!

Hi again Lisa,
Your picture and friendly face is still shown in my community section of sunshinefactor.wordpress.com, so I decided to say hi. I loved your about page! I think your schedule was good but also okay if you don’t always follow it. Me…I tend to mostly write on weekends for the week ahead. Oh yeah – since we’ve talked, I’ve started another blog too for anyone who has a friend or family member with cancer (cancerchatroom.wordpress.com). It’s fun to do both blogs…
Take care, and I’ll keep reading! 🙂
Debb

Hi Debb! Yeah, I’m afraid I fell off the writing schedule wagon several months ago. The only one I sometimes do is Whiny Wednesday, because who doesn’t love a good whine!? haha!
I think I’m on here far too much. I need some balance in my life.
The cancer blog sounds wonderful, so worthwhile and valuable to those struggling. Good for you.
Thanks for reading and following. I’ll check in with you, too.
Have a great weekend!
Lisa

Hey thanks! Lately I’ve been off my writing schedule – trying to write ’em as I feel ’em. It’s not always easy. I think I have to do an overhaul and get back on some kind of program. I’ve got such good intentions. Haha!
Thanks to Mags, I’m looking forward to reading more from you, too.

Hi, Lisa. Oh wow…you’re really coherent. What do yo u mean? You have a schedule and everything. I can see why you say we’re similar in our blog approach. Definitely. I believe I use that “T” word “Transition” as well. Like you, I probably write about everything except the transition, whatever THAT is! It’s very nice to meet you! Amy

Thanks, Amy. Funny that we’re both in transition, huh? I keep saying I’m going to change my ‘about’ page and freshen it up, especially since I haven’t followed my schedule for many moons. ha! I just never get around to it. It’s like cleaning out the junk drawer in the kitchen. I can’t be bothered. 🙂
Nice meeting you, too!
Lisa

I know…I was very reluctant to write the “About” page, and now, why I can’t change it! People have committed to liking this page. Luckily, I’ll always be searching for the truth and will probably be in transition for awhile yet!

I will always have a junk drawer. Where else am I supposed to keep, batteries, hair clips, eye glass cleaner and spare keys that no longer have a purpose? The junk drawer is like the ghetto in my house. You’re right, it is very grounding.

“Transition” into the second half of your life perhaps. Moving from the external pursuit – chasing success, competing, building family, marriage etc, etc,, to the internal pursuit – spiritually centered, wisdom gained, contemplative, endowment of life’s treasures. Right? We all get a shot at it! Too many miss out it seems or the dismiss it…’this too shall pass’ Ha! Well, I’m aware, praise that Higher Power of yours and mine, and I’m not going to miss it.

Ever read any Richard Rohr? I’m reading two of his books now, as I crisscross the US on business, wishing I were home in one time zone. Reading “Falling Upward” and “Breathing Under Water”.

I think you’ve got the right idea. When I started this blog I was married. Now I’m separated and my life has been turned upside down. I think the idea of pursuing internal things, even though I’d like to think I was doing this all along, can now be given full attention and energy. Good plan.
I’ve never read Richard Rohr but I will look into both books – I like a good book recommend! Thanks.

Ugh! I hate the idea of crisscrossing through the country. I used to like to travel when I was younger- not so much anymore.

There’s no real good place to put this but I have a question/suggestion for a future post by you. Basically I’m curious what you think about the following situation:

Person A is a female who is educated, gets along well with her parents, and very independent. On the surface, she appears to be like any person with their life together. She meets a guy, Person B, (let’s pretend it’s not me) and he is very kind to her. Not overly kind. He doesn’t do overly cheesy things or anything like that, they barely even know each other. By nice he’s honest in his compliments and encourages positivism (I’m told this is the correct word to use here). Person A is completely turned off by anything positive Person B says. Person A is incredibly negative (she calls it honest and surly) and has very little filter. After all, she’s from England. Finally after appearing to do everything possible to drive Person B away, he tells her there’s no way they’re ever going to date anyway so he doesn’t really care what she thinks of him. Something sparks and now Person A is very interested for the first time. It takes Person B saying “I hate everyone and I like to see people suffer” for Person A to have interest in him.

What do you think Person A’s issue is? Keep in mind I’m not asking you what I should do or anything like that because I already burned that bridge. I’m not someone willing to be mean just to get someone to like me. I’m just really curious on what your assessment of this girl’s situation might be or if you’ve heard of something similar. It seems too sitcom to be true…

First of all, you of all people can email me anytime. Seriously. You’re my son, what could you be thinking?
Okay, it does sort of seem sitcomish. My gut tells me that she has low self esteem – even if you can’t see it. As soon as the rejection happened something in her got triggered (remember I posted about “repetition compulsion?”) I’m guessing either her mother or father is emotionally unavailable to her. When you dissed her, that feeling of familiarity got triggered and all of a sudden you were attractive on a level that she doesn’t even understand. It’s sub-conscious. I was the same way. I would lose interest very quickly in the guys I dated that were sincerely nice. (It’s like the Woody Allen quote – “I wouldn’t belong to any club that would have me for a member.”) Her interest in you is coming from a sub-conscious desire to win your love and approval — the same psychological task she faces with one or both of her parents. Until she gets in touch with her issues, she’ll continue to reject people who like her and show big interest in those who treat her badly. I’ve been down that road, and as you know, it ain’t pretty or happy.

Hope that makes sense and helps. You can ask me anything you want, anytime, Tim. I’ll always be here for you.
Lisa

Oh I debated on emailing you but it’s not something I needed to necessarily keep private, just away from my own blog because she reads it. Yikes!

Thanks though for some insight. I’m still not quite sure. I didn’t like her much at all anyway which is strange because it wasn’t until I admitted it that she liked me. There were more details too I plan on writing about at some point but for now I’m good with some rationale on what was wrong with her.

Let me just add she was probably the meanest person I have ever met. It takes a lot for a person to make me feel belittled and dumb but wow….she did it, liked it, and knew she was being a bitch about it. Anyway, enough about this. Thanks again haha

Did you read her post on Abbreviations? It was for you. Yup, you’re the “older reader” she speaks of. Better go check it out. It’s before the Mariah Carey post.
Is this new lay out weird, or should I keep it for a little while?

Well, I’m not big on change, but it actually does a better job of promoting your articles. So, I say keep it. The rest of us can get use to it. Thanks for the heads up on Lily. I’ll go over there now. All joy. HF

I hear ya. I hate change, too. I just thought it could be freshened up a bit? I’ll probably change it a bunch of times before I land on one that I like – and then return, finally, to my old one! haha!.

Thank you, Lisa. Just read your post at her site. I think it will really help her at least I am hoping so. It’s a bit like watching a train wreck happening and feeling powerless to stop it. I read her words and I just want to tell her to “kick his ass” and move on, but you certainly understand it’s not that simple. This blog world is amazing. I write because I am a writer and love to tell a story. That poor woman writes because her pain and confusion is overwhelming and she is turning to her blog world for help. Amazing the times we live in. HF

I think we make a good therapeutic team. You play the heavy and tell these women to kick ass, and I’ll finesse your message. Deal? You were right, she was grasping at straws, headed down the wrong path, I hope what I wrote was simple enough… it’s a complex issue, but I figured if I could boil it down to it’s simplest parts she could get a handle on it. I hope she walks out the door and never looks back, but I know that won’t happen. This will be her life’s journey – at least for a long time.
This blogging world is amazing, indeed. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now had it not been for such an outpouring of love and support. It kept me buoyant through one of the lowest points of my life. I’m still struggling, but I guess that’s to be expected. Thanks for notifying me of this lost soul. Somehow helping others sustains me – it’s reciprocal.
Lisa

Hi Lisa – great blog, just great!
I’m retired – for a man, that’s a bit like the nest emptying is for a woman.
About August last year I set myself to blog every day – so far so good, although there have been times when it was close. I counted posting at 2 or 3am as ‘today’ as I hadn’t been to bed yet.
David
PS thanks for dropping in at http://ja2da.com

Thank you David! I’m sorry that I didn’t see this comment sooner. You’re very kind. I’ll have to go back for a visit to your blog. I think getting engaged with the people in this blogging community is a very smart thing to do. Thanks again and have a wonderful day!
Lisa

Hey Lisa, I am Leisa Also lol
Great blog, I love the the open and honesty of your blog, good on you.
I have only been blogging everyday now for the past 2 weeks. I have had my blog up and running for around a year, but never really new what to talk about. I started my own home based business in Success Education and Instead of worrying to much about what to say, I thought I would just share my life stories and other great life stories along the way. Cheers to you and I look forward to following you! http://successfromhhome.com/

Hey Leisa,
I think I sent a reply when you posted this comment but apparently it didn’t come up? I’ve been to your blog and I think we have a lot in common. (For some reason, when I meet Lisa’s I notice the similarities.) Anyway, hope you’re having a great weekend and I look forward to corresponding a lot more with you!
Cheers!
Lisa

Hi Lisa,
sorry to hijack your “About” thread but tho’ I’ve left a more detailed reply over at Beguiling Hollywood regarding your lovely The Date Pt III comment, I just wanted to come over here and give you a mushy THANK YOU! You are a Doll! Unless that’s sexist in which case I’ll just say you are fabulous 😉
Yours, a very flattered and pleased, George the Scribbler

Dearest George,
You can hijack my “About” page anytime you’d like. 😉
I think I’m the one who should be thanking you. What a treat it is to read your story. To put it in perspective, I enjoyed reading your comments probably more than I do most blogs! To have a tantalizing piece of fiction to follow is a thrill. So, I thank you, George!
And when choosing your words like, “Doll” and “Fabulous” please know that you never need to censor yourself – I happily accept all labels. 😉

And while we’re on the subject of Fabulous, isn’t Vickie just the most divine? What a gift she is, right? *deep sigh*

Aw, Lisa, I’ve had a mostly horrible day and have been feeling quite miserable (sorry to pointlessly whine, webfriend) but your words make me feel happy! Truly your comment about *my* comments gives me a warm glow. 🙂 You are an admirable, gracious, and glamorous lady (I know, I have to work on the charm business. I’m no Cary Grant)
As to Vickie : *deep sigh*, indeed. She is *beyond* divine, transcending heavenly, keep it – very tightly – under your hat, but I, like you, *love* her! When people talk about beautiful souls it’s usually bunk, but Ms Lester is an exception…oh, there aren’t superlatives enough to describe her – and she’s hilarious, too 😉 Practically Perfect in every way… Doesn’t she heal your Heart? Uhm, I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough!
Thank you, dear Lisa for your kindness and for lifting my mood.
If it isn’t too “oogy” from a man on the ‘net, please accept a *Hug* from –
George
PS A story of mine appears on Beguiling Hollywood in the morning, I hope you like it, forgive the flaws.

Wow!!! How totally sweet of you to think of me when you watched that! Seriously, Pete. You are the sweetest. 🙂 I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.. Wasn’t that just AMAZING and no doubt the audience adored it. It was emotional and so perfectly performed.
You are a kind one… Too bad you’re not a little older… I think you would be my husband. 😀
Thanks, my Pete! You’re the best!!!
Xoxo

Awh thank you 😀 if only there were more women like you round my neck of the woods haha 🙂 I love Attraction they’re definitely the best act I’ve ever seen on any of those types of shows, you know how good an act is when they bring Simon Cowell to tears haha!

Did you decide to stop writing A Gripping Life? I hope you are doing well. I thought you were taking a break for summer, but realize you might have decided to end your blog. I hope the best for you, Hallie