The Toddler Years

When will toddler bond w Dad

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pdxfog wrote:

My son asks for me constantly to the point my husband often cant comfort him or do for him. Its annoying as heck because even when husband takes over, the house is a loud, cranky nightmare and it's impossible to rest. Plus I feel bad for my husband because he puts in the effort and my son just does NOT care. What to do?

How old is he? We dealt with bad separation anxiety in my middle from 14mo-24mo. He had been a HUGE daddy's boy up to that point but then only I could comfort and console him. For us it was due to the new baby, and I think it was his was of making sure I was still available to him. We just pushed through. Dh did his best and there were plenty of times I couldn't help because of the baby, but eventually he did grow out of it.

Having a dd that is very much a mommy's girl, my best advice would be to make sure that daddy gets alone time with him. My DH takes our dd to daycare in the mornings, so he always gets at least that much.

My dd is almost 4 now, and she still prefers me most of the time, but is doing better about letting dad be the caregiver. Oh, the other thing I've done is to push a little when dad offers to do something, but she says "no, I want mommy". I'll sometimes look at her and say something like "daddy offered, not mommy. If you want X, you have to let daddy do it".

My daughter was a complete daddy’s girl to the point of hubby teasing me good naturedly. But now I have to leave the room at bedtime for her to cuddle daddy and go to sleep. I think it just ebbs and flows with time.

Have him take lo on field trips...to new parks, to the pet store to look at the fish and birds, out for ice cream, anywhere cool. Have him introduce a fun new toy during the day or have him read books to lo at night. Kids bond over play and experiences. Your lo probably goes to you for comfort and structure but can learn that dad is fun to play with....it’s a start. My los are closer to me because I’m home all of the time but they think it’s such a treat to go somewhere with dad. They looove story time with him, or ‘helping’ him fix things.

I’d start leaving the house here and there (go get your nails done!) so Dad is the only one in charge. That’s how my husband initially bonded with my baby, and now they are best buds. He was nervous at first but now he loves his 1 on 1 time with her and she adores him. :)

I used to do everything and my DS found me to be his comfort. At 8 months old I turned over bath time and bed time to DH. I showed him the routine and hung around a few days, then I just left him to it. When DH comes home, he changes his clothes anf then plays with DS for a bit, then it's bath time, get dressed for bed, have a bottle, and put down to sleep and DH does all of it. Honestly, DH is now the favorite and it's awesome. I'm a SAHM and I love that DS is excited when DH comes home. He's 18 months and I can finally take a break, make dinner, etc. I really think tge daddy has to do some care taking for the LO to bond. And yes, leave the house!! Do groceries, get your nails done, window shop, meet up with friends, whatever... just get out and let DH bond with LO... LO needs to find comfort in him and not rely on you, which can't happen if you're home. Good luck!!

My son used to be similar, IF I was in the house. When I ran errands without him, he was fine. I went out to lunch with a friend, then we went shopping and saw a movie. I was gone for about 6 hours! My son was 100% fine without me, and went to bed fine even!

Now my son asks for daddy to do bedtimes sometimes, and just wants me to kiss him goodnight at the end.

So I second (and third) the comments that say you have to let Daddy go it alone for a while!

my son appears to hate hubs but he really doesn't. kids tend to prefer the parent they are around most. so it's no surprise most are all about mama. as they get older and can bond with dad over activities I think it changes. but many are all about mama for the first couple years

Start sending them on short trips to the store together! My son used to hate being left with dad, but once he started taking him out(which DS loves). He's started asking to hang out with dad! It's better to let them bond without you there. Your husband will warm up to him and enjoy their time together more! He may cry a little the first time or two upon leaving but will begin to enjoy it once he realizes he gets to come back to mama soon and he'll start to trust dada to take care of him too!

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