Get the same feeling about someone at the same time in your cycle month after month? You’re not alone

Get the same feeling about someone at the same time in your cycle month after month? You’re not alone

I recently received an email from a Hormonology reader who read a blog post I wrote about what it’s like to miss someone in each week of your cycle.

This got her to thinking about how there’s a specific week every month in her cycle when she misses an ex-boyfriend who’s been out of her life for two and half years–and she wants to know if this kind of one-week longing every cycle is common.

Though there’s no research examining this specific topic, I think based on each cycle week’s distinct and unique hormonal influences, it’s perfectly reasonable to assume this is true and that it’s normal to have the same feelings about a partner you’re no longer with (or a crush you were never with) crop up at the same time every month.

For instance, during Week 2, the longing and attraction you have for other people peaks due to high estrogen, so you could find yourself having the same one-week crush every month. Personally speaking, I can attest that I get the same one-week crushes month after month during my own Week 2. (Yes, I’ve been with my husband for over 20 years, but he knows if Ryan Gosling came knocking on my door during that cycle week, we’d have to part ways.)

Or, regret over breaking up with a partner or the pain of loneliness can peak in your premenstrual Week 4 due to plunging estrogen accentuating negative feelings. As a result, you could have pangs for a past partner or sadness about not having someone to share your life during this week cycle after cycle.

So, how can you know when a desire for a specific someone is just due to hormonal influences or it means you want him or her back in your life? I like to recommend the four-week test: If you’re attracted to and long for a certain person in all four weeks of your cycle, then that person is probably a keeper. If you’re only missing someone during one week out of your cycle, it seems like it’s just hormones at work. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about it except to remind yourself that once the next cycle week rolls around, this longing will fade again.

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Gabrielle Lichterman, founder of Hormonology® and a longtime women’s health journalist, pioneered the growing movement among women to live in sync with their menstrual cycles and know more about all the ways their hormones impact their moods, health and behavior. This movement was launched in 2005 with Gabrielle's groundbreaking book, 28 Days: What Your Cycle Reveals about Your Love Life, Moods and Potential, and her creation of Hormonology®. She offers a variety of tools--including her popular free Hormone Horoscope® app, eBooks, infographics, videos and tips--to share vital information about hormones.