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Travel, Dance, Minimalism (Some poetry, some books, some art)

christian parents

So whenever I’m on a phone call with my boyfriend and the conversation is kinda stunted we do questions from this article: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love. I definitely recommend this list to people in long distance relationships… one question usually opens up the whole conversation, we generally don’t get through more than one per day.

Anyways. Today’s question was “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

He didn’t have much to say about that. I have mostly one thing… I wish there would have been talks about consent.

“Sex should not be a “duty.” It shouldn’t be an act we feel obligated to perform for other people. It should never be manipulated or coerced. It’s hard for each woman, individually, to operate inside this system where we’re beaten down into thinking things like I have to have sex with him or he’ll leave me.

But we shouldn’t accept this status quo. As the magnificent and wonderful Nicki Minaj put it: “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that.” That’s the attitude that should be accepted and normal. Consent is only the absolute minimum baseline, not the goal. It should be so commonplace for women to be comfortable, and happy, and trusting, and respected during sex that anything else would be as incomprehensible to us as building a bicycle seat out of a cactus.”

This is the first I’ve heard of something called “enthusiastic consent” which means not bare minimum okay-whatever-yeah-do-it consent (or “grudging consent”).

I love Feminism. For now for always. Don’t have any new music for you today, sorry.