Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne is to sell his own grandmother to help reduce the deficit, according to a Treasury spokesman. The move follows Osborne’s announcement that he intends selling government shares in Royal Mail and RBS. [read...]

Michael Gove has announced he’ll hand responsibility for all child abuse to private companies like G4S, Atos and Serco. Mr Gove told the media it was ‘inappropriate and wrong’ for past child abuse to be largely the responsibility of public bodies like the BBC, [read...]

‘Ill people have the unfortunate effect of clogging up the health system, and they can really bring down the people in the call centre with their constant winging,’ said a Government spokesman. [read...]