The reality, however, is a deeply clever and distinctly non-terrifying system of maximising athletic ability, and it’s already being used by several top players.

More after the break

Pioneered by DNAFit, a simple test of 445 gene variants, taken via a mouth swab, gives feedback on how an individual’s body responds to certain exercises, their speed of recovery, vulnerable soft tissue and most suitable diet.

“My results were uncanny,” says Fulham’s Bryan Ruiz. “DNA testing will revolutionise how clubs train. It could extend careers.” Liverpool’s Glen Johnson says: “I was sceptical, but the science is fascinating. I can now train smarter.”

DNAFit founder Avi Lasarow adds: “Elite athletes are using the test to refine their training, but whether you’re playing for your country or a pub team, it can bring out the best in anybody.”

Want to feel the benefit? The test can be taken at home. Send it to DNAFit’s lab and you’ll get a detailed email outlining your fitness plan, dietary options and injury risk.

Costing from £99, find out more at dnafit.com or Champneys Health Spas