James Randi to debunk magic of FA Cup

SKEPTIC investigator James Randi has set out to disprove the magic of the FA Cup.

Jesus drank Budweiser from it at the Last Night Out

The James Randi Foundation has offered a million pounds to anyone able to demonstrate a sense of wide-eyed wonder in the world’s oldest beer promotional tool.

He now wants to resolve whether the tournament has a supernatural element or is merely a series of athletic events involving England’s second best footballers until the quarter finals.

Randi said: “I and my colleagues will attend every fourth round match to look for any event that falls outside the realm of the mundane, such as nobody being vile.

“We will also scrutinise any commentator’s claims of magic to see if there’s a rational explanation for a ball being positioned in a particular part of the pitch by 11 men with relatively poor employers.

“Yesterday’s evidence involved a bucktoothed racist handballing his team to victory against a club whose chief executive adores Margaret Thatcher.”

The field of sporting scepticism has been growing in popularity following Richard Dawkins’ latest book TheWimbledon Delusion and Simon Singh’s Who Gives a Monkey’s Fuck About the Ryder Cup?

Randi added: “Science is still unable to explain Adrian Chiles, but I suspect he will turn out to be nothing more than a weather balloon.”