Jon is about this close to activating the parental controls on our DirecTV so that I can no longer watch anything on Discovery Health Channel or TLC. It started a few months ago when I accidentally stumbled upon a show about a new fad in childbirth called Freebirthing where women have their babies at home without the aid of a nurse or midwife or any trained professional. And at one point there was this three-year-old kid going WHY IS MOMMY SCREAMING LIKE THAT?! And the woman is clawing at this head coming out from between her legs, and she’s all GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! Except, there is no one there who knows how to get it out, and her husband is just standing there shrugging like DUDE, THIS WAS YOUR IDEA!

I found the whole thing totally fascinating because you’ve got to have a special combination of bravery and stupidity going on to attempt such a thing, but Jon has not ever recovered from watching it. In fact, one night last month they ran the episode again, and there I was in bed eagerly awaiting the part where the woman has to get in her car, drive herself to the hospital and ask someone to pull out her placenta, when Jon walked in and was all NO WAY, NOT AGAIN, TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF. Oh, come on! Television doesn’t get better than this! The look on that doctor’s face when he says, “You want me to what?” And she’s all, I don’t know what the big deal is, I just had a baby at home in front of my three-year-old and this damn placenta won’t come out, can’t you just yank it for me? Give it a little tug?

And then, of course, there’s that loathsome show “A Baby Story” on TLC that follows real couples through the last few weeks of pregnancy. I cannot stop watching it, even though it makes me violently angry. I just cannot believe the bedside manner of some of the doctors on that show, and I’m not even kidding, twice in the last week I have watched a doctor wave the arm of the newborn infant at its mother AS IT IS BEING PULLED FROM THE WOMB. No, wait. Let me finish. These doctors treated these seconds-old babies like puppets, waved their little arms wildly in the air, and said, “Hi, Mommy!” in a high-pitched voice as if that is exactly what they would sound like and say upon taking their first breaths. WHILE THE LOWER HALVES OF THEIR BODIES WERE STILL INSIDE THEIR MOTHERS.

You have got to be shitting me.

I was telling Jon about these episodes yesterday, my voice getting louder and louder with each gruesome detail, and he decided that this was it. No more cable television while I’m pregnant, just look at how needlessly angry it was making me. I made him promise me that if my doctor looked at all like she was going to treat the baby like a puppet that he should immediately knock her to the floor, because otherwise I would one day show up at her house with a crowbar and then spend the rest of my life appealing an assault conviction. WHO KNEW that you might have to include a line in your birth plan that says, “If at all possible, could you please not play ventriloquist with my newborn baby.”

We got rid of our TV 4 years ago. Well, I did. It wasn’t mine to begin with and I wasn’t about to spend money on one, so there ya go. Actually, an ex’s and I made him take it beg because I needed all things his to go at that time. I DO NOT regret it. However, I do binge at times when dogsitting for friends. Dog and I curl up after they get their exercise and I watch super crappy TV for 4 hours straight. I’m not proud of it.

But to get to the point. I have learned more about birth from you than my family and friends who have gone through it multiple times. I would like to both applaud you and condemn them at the same time. Why are we always left in the dark for all these REALLY important things?! I shouldn’t have to google that shit.

In closing, THANK you. In so many ways.

Amy

Anonymous

#14 there’s a HUGE difference between home births and freebirth. Home births are generally assited by a knowledgeable and trained midwife, the mother has had all her prenatal care, and the birth is decidedly low risk. Many women who freebirth have NO midwife, doula, mother’s neighbor’s sister, ANYONE with ANY training helping them out. They also typically don’t believe in any kind of prenatal care. I, too, am all for natural yet RESPONSIBLE birth.

That being said, I’m at 30 weeks, we don’t have cable.

ria

i’ve jus been looking at freebirthing and the original uk show outlaw births! (ha ha love that title)
clio howie’s water birth was amazing…..can absolutely see why women would choose this option. they have the video on you tube.
good luck

http://www.indiehomeec.blogspot.com HollyLynne

I have somehow managed to miss the episode of Freebirthing where the mother drives herself to the doctor for placenta removal. I’m going to have to Tivo the whole series now until I see that. INSANITY!

callie

It made me insane listening to my phone messages the week before my due date. “Have you had the baby yet?” “When is she coming out?” “Is she here yet?” “Are we there yet?” I only had a few people calling me. You have the whole internet tapping their toes, looking at their watches.

The mucus plug is not a turkey timer people. Just because it popped out it does not mean she’s done…

http://www.plaidandhound.com Valerie W

Man, was I having a DAY, and here you go, swooping in to make me giggle til I feel all better. Thanks woman!

http://aredeaf.blogspot.com Coelecanth

I was glad to hear from Briton #322 regarding this. Although I’m sure that the freebirthers are well educated enough to use a sterile instrument to cut the cord, all I could think reading Ms. Hatch’s comments was: “I wonder what a pregnant woman in the slums of Haiti would say about this debate?” Of course we’ll never know because the truly disadvantaged can’t access the internet. I’ll hazard a guess though. Perhaps something along the lines of: “Send me the ventriloquist Doctor, he can do whatever puppetry he likes so long as I and my child come out of this alive and healthy.”

Priorities, my how they change given one’s situation. Worrying about the birthing “experience” is a luxury of the developed world. A luxury made possible by a medical system that’s there to save you and the child should something go wrong. Oh, and so you can see where I’m coming from, we took full advantage of that luxury and in the end had to discard it.

My wife and I planned a low intervention hospital birth. Oxymoron? No, not really, we found a group of female GPs who were perfectly on board with that idea. Indeed, their stated reason for existing to fill that gap between OBGYN directed hospital birthing and home birthing. These folks were all about letting us direct how the process would go while allowing us to do so in a setting where every possible safeguard was right to hand. Have our cake and eat it too: a pleasant birthing “experience” made less anxious by knowing how close help would be in the event of an emergency.

My wife’s waters broke early. 36 hours later with no dilation, minimal contractions and no amniotic fluid left it was realized our daughter was breech. There was no chance of turning her, labour wasn’t progressing at all and the baby’s heart rate began to drop steadily. Emergency C-section time. My wife cried through the whole “experience” and I only held it together because I had to. Yup, we had the freebirther’s nightmare: full-on medical intervention.

Did the medical establishment let us down? Oh yes. Someone should have seen that the baby hadn’t turned much sooner. Would a midwife/doula have seen it in time? Maybe, maybe not. Would we have all on our own. I can’t imagine it. Three different doctors and at least one nurse palpitated and pronounced everything right. It took an ultra-sound to see what was going on. My wife and I also hold some of the blame for this misdiagnosis. If we hadn’t been so insistent on low intervention maybe they’d have put the ultra-sound on her sooner. Sometimes mistakes are made and that my friends is the human condition.

We worried a great deal about the “experience” beforehand. We did our homework and came up with a plan that seemed to give us what we wanted. And then the plan got thrown out the window. My wife ended up crucified (her word) on an operating table. I spent the whole time fighting my fear and disappointment, trying to comfort my wife. And yet, I say that that day was one of the most wonderful of my life.

I took our little girl from the nurse (a 9 on the Apgar, yay baby!) and lay her on my wife’s breast. Suddenly her tears turned from ones of helplessness and fear to ones of joy. Instantly, completely. I have never seen anything like it. And at that moment I realized that all of my disappointment at how things went meant nothing. All our plans meant nothing. There before me was the whole point of the exercise, a mother, a daughter, the two most important people in the world to me, alive and together.

Experience? What is that? Isn’t it in part how you choose to view the events of your life? In the end joy doesn’t come from your plans and expectations and how closely those are met. It comes from what you choose to remember and value.

I choose to remember and value my wife’s amazing transformation of emotion, and forget the cause of her distress. I choose to remember and value the first sight of those little tiny hands and startlingly black hair. I choose to remember and value all the good that came from that day and none of the bad. I choose to cherish the day my daughter came into the world and to hell with any detail that wasn’t up to my expectations. End of rant.

Best of luck with everything Dooce. Thank you again for providing a place where we all can have our say about this stuff.

Laurie

What I want to know is how many women actually say “GET IT OUT” during delivery. I did. Three times. Even though I knew they were boys I still said “IT” like it was an alien or a Macho Combo Burrito (which it could have been.) There needs to be a statistic about this. Or a montage on YouTube.
Heather…for Gods’ sake…GET IT OUT!

Farnés

Oh yes, you just made my day.. That is by far the loudest I’ve laughed in while.

http://angryredhead.wordpress.com Candice

Man, i was addicted to those shows for the first two years of my university life. no idea why. hurry up and have your baby! i’m excited.

CurlyQ

Indeed, so many births happen in such a way that there is never really a need for any intervention or assistance at all. These are such wonderful births, but certainly, they are not the only kind. Sure women have and still deliver babies in fields and barns, etc., but as many have already said, look at the present and historical data on morbidity and mortality rates of these women and their babies. Hello people!!

Google any of the following and then tell me exactly why it’s not completely insane to deliver without an experienced professional:
Shoulder Dystocia
Amniotic Embolism
Prolapsed cord
Post-Partum Hemorrhage
Placental Abrubtion
Pneumothorax of the newborn

….I could go on, but I think this will do for now.
I have seen all of the above and let me tell you, even if your house is right next door to a hospital equipped to deal with any of the above, you are still TOO FAR AWAY!

There is much claim about how “EDUCATED!” these freebirthers are. They are not educated enough. They have not had the education of seeing and dealing with the listed events unfold, where, without immediate medical intervention, beautiful lives would be no longer. If any of the above situations were to occur, the only thing these people could do would be dial 911 and hope help gets there in time…It’s very likely that there would not be enough time.

If there were no possibility for such grave risks, I could see the beauty of delivering at home with just you and your partner. However, the thought that making such a choice could mean the otherwise preventable death or lasting damage to me or my baby makes this choice damn ugly. There is no beauty in those risks and only stupidity in making that choice.

By the way, from what I have read so far, freebirthing can land you and any accompanying family/friends in jail should any of the dreadful negatives occur!

To the person who asked why we care what choices you make…
Are you serious? It’s because we are human. Some parents choose to believe that it’s ok to abuse their children. Are you telling me you don’t care about that choice? A lot of people choose to do a lot of things that don’t effect me directly or those I love, but when they pose a threat to the innocent lives around them, I CARE!

http://nikkiandnat.blogspot.com nikki

Hahaha I totally agree… A Baby Story is soo awful. WHO ARE THESE DOCTORS! And often, who are these poeple…. Thanks Dooce for undoing a lot of anti-glamorous anti-hip done to motherhood that this show does.

Laura-Lu

I have to comment on a couple of things. Home birthing is just as safe as giving birth in a hospital. Someone mentioned “i am old fashioned i gave birth in the hospital” and thats funny because nothing is as old fashioned as having your kids at home! With the proper precautions, training, research and having an experianced midwife, or even making sure you yourself know all the steps, giving birth at home is a wonderful, beautiful event that most women dont even give a chance because they are led to believe its dangerous. ITS NOT. the statistics back that up 100%.

Yes its unconventional Nowadays, but even 50-60 years ago it was the norm!!

http://sbclgobal.net Shelly in St. Louis

Hi Heather,
This post, like many, made me laugh because like you I enjoy all those goofy baby shows on tv. My husband on the other hand, does not. He did however tape the entire surgery when our oldest was born via c-section, but I still haven’t been able to watch it even 14 years later. Funny how I can watch perfect strangers on tv go through all sorts of trauma, but don’t want to see my own intestines outside my stomach. Ugh.

Good luck on your impending birth. I’m sure not-Maria will be beautiful – just like the rest of her family.

Hugs from the Midwest!

http://gproids.com buy steroids

I’ve seen that episode also and remember that doctor’s face. Reading this just had me spitting iced tea at the monitor.

I was watching all those damn shows with Declan, including Emergency Delivery, or whatever it is called. My OB kept telling me to stop watching them, especially Emergency Delivery, but I wouldn’t. Then Declan came 2 months early, in spectacular fashion. My doc was YELLING at me as she ran next to me in the gurney, “I TOLD YOU NOT TO WATCH THAT DAMN SHOW!!!”

Nearly seven years lately, she still mentions it at ever yearly checkup.

My point being, STOP WATCHING THOSE SHOWS.

====

P.S. This is gonna sound crazy freaky but I dreamed about you guys last night, which is why I came to the site today, to see if labor was upon you. I got the spooky dreams from my grandmother. So, um, watch out.

Anonymous

I’ll never have kids, cute, would like to have them maybe, but whoa…

Lee

Yeah, I can relate to getting addicted to those goddamn birthing shows….especially during the time of month Im getting ready to have my period, at 47 and childless by choice…When I’ve watched 3 episodes, I pour myself a martini and think…….Boy, am I glad I forgot to have kids…best wishes to you folks….and not maria…treats to the dogs

Betsy

For the record – I think doulas, midwives, camcorders and big ol’ tubs are fine, if that’s what floats your boat. And suddenly everyone – even my single friends who are dudes – are running at me screaming “Have you seen The Business of Being Born!!” with their Netflixed copy in hand.

It’s just…what Patrice (29) said. Cracks me up, the “rite of passage” that some women claim, once they’ve done it in said living room, with said doula and scrambled placenta.

http://twitter.com/VictoryTrue Chriss

Can someone tell me when this Freebirthing is on????? I need to see this to believe it.

Danielle

Thank you Heather for clarifying. I did not read your post as a rant against homebirthing at all. I am a huge advocate of ASSISTED homebirth but I agree that going at it completely alone gives homebirthers a bad name at best and is utterly lunatic and life-threatening at worst.

http://WWW.NaturalFamilyBLOG.com Jenny Hatch

“To the person who asked why we care what choices you make…

Are you serious? It’s because we are human. Some parents choose to believe that it’s ok to abuse their children. Are you telling me you don’t care about that choice? A lot of people choose to do a lot of things that don’t effect me directly or those I love, but when they pose a threat to the innocent lives around them, I CARE!”

Me too. I care deeply about the choices that mothers make for and in behalf of their children and it is why I write and speak to everyone in my sphere of influence about the dangers of allopathic medicine.

Crocodile tears? Nope, just pure education and inquiry. I weep for those children being poisoned in their mothers wombs by anti depressants and other toxic medicines. But as stated above, I am not going to be intolerant of anyones decision regarding health care choices made around birth and parenting. That being said, I will fearlessly share the facts with anyone interested in learning more about making healthy babies.

“Yet another psychiatrist has found his way into Sen. Charles Grassley’s interrogation chamber. And this time, the doctor’s employer moved quickly with a reprimand: Emory University disciplined Dr. Zachary Stowe, a prominent psychiatrist who was being paid by GlaxoSmithKline at the same time he was conducting federal research about the use of antidepressants in pregnant women. Stowe hadn’t disclosed his payments from Glaxo, which amounted to at least $250,000 in 2007 and 2008.

Grassley wrote Emory earlier this month, saying that records he’d obtained from Glaxo–which makes the antidepressant Paxil–detailed those payments, which included fees for at least 95 promotional talks on the drugmaker’s behalf, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Meanwhile, Stowe was listed as primary investigator on at least three grants from NIH that involve antidepressant use in pregnant women. NIH requires reporting of conflicts of interest among researchers working under its grants.

In a statement, Emory said Dr. Stowe had come forward to acknowledge his undisclosed conflicts of interest. Perhaps the doctor learned something from the experience of Dr. Charles Nemeroff, another Emory psychiatrist who stepped down as chairman of the department last year after failing to report more than $800,000 received from Glaxo from 2000 to 2006. Nemeroff’s conduct is now under investigation by the HHS inspector general; he remains on Emory’s faculty and maintains that he had acted in good faith to follow the disclosure rules as he understood them.”

“A world-renowned Harvard child psychiatrist whose work has helped fuel an explosion in the use of powerful antipsychotic medicines in children earned at least $1.6 million in consulting fees from drug makers from 2000 to 2007 but for years did not report much of this income to university officials, according to information given Congressional investigators.”

Katie

I thought that said Freebirding for a second. Like Jon and the hospital staff should wave lighters in unison while you’re screaming to a rockin’ guitar riff as Not-Maria enters the world.

Eden

I find it fascinating that Jenny Hatch is vehemently objecting to comments expressing opinions that disagree with hers, yet she is consistently completely ignoring the posts where people are citing very real examples of their own experiences of childbirth in which the babies or mother would have absolutely died without immediate medical intervention. Interesting.

http://figcookies.blogharbor.com Caren

If my doctor did that with my newly born child I’d beat her upside the head.

When I was living in England and pregnant, I discovered “Home Birth Diaries.” Look for it on YouTube. In the UK, they don’t censor anything on television (which makes watching Gordon Ramsey quite entertaining!), so you would see things like a baby’s head hanging out of the mother’s vagina while she squatted screaming over her birthing pool with the midwife, dumbfounded husband, quivering dog and completely terrified toddler looking on. It was then and there that I decided to get the epidural.

My daughter is nearly two, we have been back in the US since she was 7 weeks old, and my husband is *still* talking about that damn show. He was traumatized.

http://WWW.NaturalFamilyCo.com Jenny Hatch

I have known plenty of free birthers who have had difficult experiences. I’m one of them. I gave birth to my fourth child in my bedroom and had to transfer to the hospital because we could not get our son to breath, and I was bleeding out with a deadly crit. Laura Shanley, also an outspoken freebirther had a son die shortly after his home birth and I know several couples who have lost children during a home birth. No one in the home birth community ignores or shys away from these harsh realities. We have written extensively about them in our various books, blogs, and on our chat rooms and discussion boards.

I’m not objecting to anything, I’m just sharing some information that expands the options for birthing couples. And I’m attempting to defend my lifestyle choices a little bit. Believe me, I honestly don’t care how other people live, but I will claim my rights of self determination over my own body and stand up for our community when it is being attacked by popular bloggers.

I also believe that many who are making life choices that harm and/or permanently damage children in utero and are gleefully yelling it out to the blogosphere need to be better informed about toxic drugs. And so in the spirit of honest inquiry, I shared some information about anti depressants.

But don’t assume that all of the choices medically minded mothers make are always right all the time. Often those choices have horrifying consequences for the baby and the mother. We are just a group of people who have weighed it all out and made what we felt were the best choices for our kids.

Live and let live… right?

Jenny

http://www.ohthatissogay.com LifesBeenGood

The really twisted part is that those two shows and the scenes you described sound like they could come directly from the show South Park. (which I’m ashamed to admit is one of my most guilty pleasures. everyone needs a vice, right?)

I think I would rather stab my eyes out than give birth at home or even watch a show about it.

Love you, love the blog, can’t wait for Not Maria,

Jen

Kristi

Jenny,
If your child hadn’t lived after that ordeal, I doubt you’d feel the same. Or perhaps if your child ended up with permanent brain damage for life because of your careless actions, you’d maybe feel a bit guilty over worrying about your “orgasmic” and “sexual” experience rather than worrying about the health of your own child. All your posts seem ridiculously self-centered. It’s not about you bitch, it’s about the kids that are being born! It’s not about your birthing orgasm, it’s about your son breathing, and being able to grow up and have make choices for himself someday. I think you’re delusional, like posting your little links and signing your name at the end of your responses makes you so much better than everyone here. Oh, and saying earlier how you’re not on a crusade about anti-depressants during pregnancy and saying you don’t care, and then mentioning it in detail with a GREAT deal of bias makes you a fantastic hypocrite. How dare you get on here with your pathetic attitude and be filled with negativity and scare-tactics and try to make a PREGNANT woman feel scared or ashamed about her personal choice? Rather Dooce be alive and functioning with an alive and functioning baby than to off herself during or shortly after. I don’t know much about the effects of drugs on pregnant women, but just because you read a couple biased articles doesn’t make you any more informed of anything. You’ve never experienced the pain of real depression, lucky you. Write your little quotes and post your little links, and talk down to everyone here that’s supportive of Dooce and her new baby, but don’t think you have any impact, you pathetic witch.
Sincerely,
Kristi
p.s. Hi Dooce! You’re awesome!

http://joyontheright.blogspot.com Rebecca

Ha. I can’t stop watching Baby Story either. Want to look away, but can’t. My mother had four children–when my first brother was born, doctors shoved a bedpan–upside down–under her to lift her up, and the ob/gyn then went and joked to everyone over and over again (within her earshot) that he had just delivered a baby “into a bedpan”, and wasn’t that funny?

Judging

Jenny, obviously you care and are judging others on their choices because you care. So tell me how does it feel to be depressed to the point you want to end your life? The hormones that give you such a thrill in birthing can tear others apart- if someone is diabetic would you tell them they are wrong for injecting insulin while pregnant? Careful, your true colors are showing here and it isn’t the pretty rainbow you think it is…

It’s time to move on now.

http://www.sheyfeymind.com SheyFey

WOW! You continue to amaze me at every pregnant turn!

http://www.iambossy.com/ BOSSY

Yes, but have you watched Bossy’s addiction: Bringing Home Baby?

It makes Bossy feel oh-so-much-better about her own life.

jennifer

oh no, that sounds horrible!! i am now needlessly angry and i am not pregnant nor have i seen the show.

http://walkingtomaine.blogspot.com Betsy

“Heather has chosen to be a shill for Big Pharma by loudly proclaiming her addiction to Prozac and her use of this dangerous drug during pregnancy….do I care? Sure, I feel bad for her unborn daughter, and any potential heart problems she may have, but does that mean I am going to go on a campaign to convince or tell her I won’t tolerate her lifestyle? No.”

Yeaaaaahhh, but see. You kinda just did.

I think it’s great when certain posts hit a nerve and some rich dialogue comes out of it, and we all read and nod and cock our heads to one side and ponder a bit, and at the end of the day we’re all thinking a little more like the other person. I know Jenny you’re probably thinking that your orgasm is just a (ridiculous) byproduct of doing what’s most healthy for your baby. And so many others think yeah, it would be great to NOT have the cancer ward upstairs, or to get filleted like a fish, as one commenter so eloquently put it. But not everyone is gonna have the same birth story. We’re all reading and clamboring to give opinions because pregnancy and delivery is so FREAKING CENTRAL to our lives. It’s good to hear there are some sojourners and be all “She did it HOW?” and also to have someone say “The same thing happened to me.”

There has to be some admission of grace here, in order for Heather to give us all the bandwith she does.

Mighty K

Freebirthing? Are you kidding me with this shit? OH MY GOD, YES millions of women have given birth since the dawn of humankind without the help of doctors and nurses but isn’t the point of evolution that we EVOLVE from that?

I’m curious just how guilty some freebirthin’ mom would feel if something goes horribly wrong with the birth and there’s no one there except a crying, vomiting husband to “help”. Paramedics must just lurve the freebirthing crowd, you know, keeps ‘em busy when there’s a lull in the traffic accident/sudden stroke/more sudden heart attack game.

http://aredeaf.blogspot.com coelecanth

Oh god, I know I shouldn’t it’ll make no difference. You can’t reason with fanatics. Sigh, I should just go to bed…

Let’s look at one of the claims made above, one citing the Huffington Post article. I chose this one because it had real numbers listed, not just percentages.

From that article:

“Craniosynostosis–the premature closing of one or more sutures or fibrous joints knitting the bones of the infant’s skull–showed 2.5 times more prevalence in infants exposed in utero to SSRIs…”

“Craniosynostosis occurs in about four per 10,000 births according to the National Institutes of Health.”

So, the incidence of craniosynostosis without SSRIs is 0.04%
With SSRIs is 2.5 x 0.04% = 0.1%, or 1 in 1000 births.

Now from Wikipedia:

“Among full-term, head down babies, cord prolapse is quite rare, occurring in 0.4 percent.” This is of course, 4 in 1000.

Cord prolapse is where the umbilical cord is compressed during birth which can cause brain damage to fetus through lack of oxygen. It’s also something that requires medical intervention.

Also from Wikipedia:

“Umbilical cord prolapse is an obstetric emergency during pregnancy or labor that imminently endangers the life of the fetus.”

“If attempts to deliver the baby prompty fail, the fetus’ air and blood supply are occluded and brain damage or death will occur.”

“The mortality rate for the fetus is given as 11-17%[6]. This applies to hospital births or very quick transfers in a first world environment.”

Keep that last one in mind, in a situation where all available medical intervention is present there’s still a mortality rate of 11-17%. I imagine in a unsupported situation the rate in closer to 100%. I couldn’t find any stats on that. Oh, and these rates go up in breech births, but let’s leave that alone, the math get too much for me.

So let’s look at the numbers again.

Risk of craniosynostosis from antidepressants: 1 in 1000
Risk of cord prolapse in normal, head-down birth: 4 in 1000

So our dear Jenny above is willing to take a four times greater risk of having a baby die or suffer brain damage through freebirthing than Dooce is taking of her baby having craniosynostosis from antidepressant use. Hmmm, who should be warning whom about risks?

For the record: both of these risks are so small that neither of them should give them a moment’s thought. This is just to show the lack of reason in the claims made above. Those claims are simply fear-mongering to support a cherished belief.

Anonymous

hahahaha that is hilarious..you would like the show “I didn’t know I was pregnant” on Discovery. Yeah there are people out there who was unaware of their own pregnancy.

Kelly

I’m not getting involved in this one.

Just wanted to let Dooce know that “Maria” has kind of grown on me. Maria Armstrong…nice:)

Good luck!Just remember the second one is usually a bit easier! At the very least you know what to expect!

http://pedalontheright.blogspot.com Alana

When I was pregnant with my daughter two years ago, I was warned not to watch A Baby Story, and instead got hooked on Birth Day on Discovery Health. Since then, I love Deliver Me, and read as many blogs as I can find that are written by labor and delivery nurses.

Because I had such a wonderful experience, I quit teaching, and am starting nursing school next month. I’m also trying to get certified to be a childbirth educator.

If anyone is interested, there is a book called The Surprising History of How We are Born. It talks about the progression of the birth process throughout history, and is really fascinating.

Please PLEASE come be my doula in September. Not that I even want or need a doula… it would just be nice to have a RATIONALLY minded person in my corner…

http://Craftyintentions.blogspot.com Megan

my friend used to tell a good story about a cousin of hers that came here from Egypt. She was pregnant and wanted to give birth in the United States to give her child dual citizenship. Unfortunately she was not at all fluent in English, and communication was mostly between her husband and the doctor, while she focused on pushing a human out of her loins.

When it was all over, she lay back – exhausted – contemplating what to name her new baby girl when she heard the doctor – who had treated her very well – utter what she thought was the most beautiful English word she’d heard. She immediately decided that THAT would be the name of her little one.

Reading the comments and such about placentas reminded me of a story that a friend of mine told me, who heard it from a friend of hers, so it’s totally true.

This friend of a friend was working in the framing department at some Michael’s Craft Store somewhere, when this lady and her husband came in with this dark flat thing (that I imagine resembled a big flat piece of beef jerky) to get framed. Turns out the couple saved the afterbirth, dried it out (I imagine them using a RonCo Jerky Maker), and decided to get it framed, like they did with the afterbirth of their older two children.

What the hell? Who frames a dried out placenta and hangs it on the wall like art? Some families hang all their diplomas in the dining room and other families hang all the mother’s afterbirths.

Also, I wonder what was weirder/grosser: The people coming in with the afterbirth and having to place the sample frame corners and matting next to the afterbirth, or having to deal with someone else’s dried out afterbirth that they leave at Michael’s for framing?

http://d2dmad.blogspot.com/ Dani

I was that way with the wedding shows when I was planing my wedding. Knowing how much those freaked me out I avoided all the baby shows like the plague when I was pregnant. I still won’t watch them & my daughters 18 months old.

Good luck to you. I can’t wait the hear charming/exasperating/hillarious stories about not Maria.

Anonymous

You should check out the movie The Business Of Being Born (really, it’s more of a documentary) which was made by Ricki Lake if you liked watching Freebirthing. It covers the topic much better and gives reasons why women chose to birth at home vs. the hospital. It’s a good move even if you don’t agree with it. Made me cry – lol.

Recommendations from Others on Facebook

Advertise on dooce®dooce® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com, and is also a RewardStyle, Shopsense, and Stitch Fix Affiliate.