Tags:

Fandom: XM:FCTitle: By Faint IndirectionsAuthor: kianspoBeta:secret_chord25 ♥Pairing: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles XavierRating: R for nowWord count: ~ 13 600KWarnings: please read the premise. Holocaust references, age difference (May/November), period appropriate attitudesSummary: Erik is in his ~50s, and lonely and bitter. He survived the Holocaust and was only ~14 when the war ended; and even ~40 years later, living in a country that helped to end WW2 and the Third Reich, homosexuality is still a taboo topic. Then one day, he stumbles over Charles, who is young(early 20s) and bright and smart and cheeky and full of energy and beautiful. And moving in the same street where Erik lives.A/N: written for this prompt @ xmen-firstkink. The second part will hopefully appear some time soon.The title comes from Walt Whitman's Among the Multitude.

Tags:

So, following the fact that my email was hacked, Yahoo in its infinite wisdom now doesn't allow me to reply to mail or to send it. Basically they are blaming the victim, which, don't get me started.

Point remains, I rather liked having a separate account for LJ notifications, and fandom things (as opposed to personal email). I want a new one, but obviously not on Yahoo. I do like Gmail, but keeping two of those seems inconvenient. Which host domains do you use/like? I'm looking for a new fandom mail home...

Tags:

Please ignore any emails that's been sent to you recently from my Yahoo account. Apparently, it's been hacked and everyone whose address is in there has probably gotten some weird email from me with links or something. DO NOT OPEN THOSE, THEY ARE NOT FROM ME. I haven't the slightest idea what's inside.

I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. /o\

ETA: If you need to verify something, use my gmail address if you know it, PM me here, or come say hi on tumblr. Again, I'm so sorry.

Tags:

Clean your computer. No, not the software. The actual computer, and by cleaning I mean nothing too elaborate, just swipe off the dust. I lost 32 hours of work which I'm not going to get back any time this week, because starting now my life is officially a crazy train. Also I'm now $300 poorer.

Tags:

As previously announced, in one month's time three of my ST Reboot stories will be taken down from this journal. If you have a particular fancy to them, you have that much time to download them. I will ask that the stories not be reposted anywhere afterwards, though I have no objection to a private exchange.

Tags:

Coincidentally, my niece and nephew made me watch a Japanese cartoon this weekend where a girl adopted herself into a panda family, she was to be a daughter to panda-father and a mother to panda-son. I swear it makes sense within the film. XD

Anyway, thank you, you should have seen my grin. ♥♥♥

Tags:

I've been couch-bound for the last few days, and haven't been online, with the exception of occasionally checking tumblr from my phone. (Anti-perks of no longer having a laptop.) Now the internet seems a new and scary place. :)

I'm feeling better, though not quite back to norm, and no, I still have no answers. I'm working on it. It's frustrating, though. I've been jogging every other day since mid-May, and while I generally have lousy stamina, I improved dramatically. Well, for me anyway. I ran for longer distances, I ran the entire way as opposed to jogging-to-walking switch, and I could go on. It felt nice. Now, when I attempt a very slow walk on an even terrain for, like, 500 meters there and another 500 meters back, I'm so short of breath it's not even funny. Hell, I'm short of breath after loading the dishwasher. I hate this.

But anyway, I promised no more gross health talk, at least for a while. Any news I should be aware of? Anyone? I feel like an alien here. *g*

Tags:

It's been a while since I've been as aware of my heart as I am now. In the physical sense, not in any interesting way. I can't get my pulse down. It's been... I think it's been over 24 hours. It doesn't hurt exactly, it just doesn't go down. My chest is heavy, I feel like I can't take a deep enough breath, and I feel my heart without having to listen to it. I'm so tired. I just wish it'd stop. I guess sleepless nights and having to drive people to airports at 5 a.m. two days in a row probably had something to do with that. I've taken every OTC medicine I had, within reason, I drink camomile tea by the liter. So far no luck.

My point is, I'm sorry if I didn't get back to you in wherever it is we interact. I have a few emails and messages to answer. I'm not ignoring you, honest.I hope I'll feel better soon. I'll keep you posted.

Tags:

So, starting with the things that only happen to me, or so I like to pretend. After my spring writing spree was over, I stalked around the net, feeling useless, and stumbled over a prompt on kinkme_merlin. It was mostly about porn, so I thought I'd quickly write some 4-6k as a quick distraction not requiring a lot of brain power and be done with it. 1.5 months and 26k later, I finally am done. Surprising, coming from me, isn't it? </sarcasm>

Anyway, all throughout it and even now as my poor beta struggles with it, I've been reading a lot of XMFC fics, and been falling progressively more in love with it. You all know what happens when I run out of fics to read. I desperately need to write some. I know most of you guys around here are not in that fandom anymore and/or at all, but I'm still vaguely hopeful.

My point is, would anyone care to prompt me something Charles/Erik?[+++]I'd normally just go to the kinkmeme, but for some reason all the prompts there are a page long or longer, and I can't really write when someone's outlined the whole thing already. And I did write 2 stories before, but they were both some sort of accident. Curve Fitting started with a single line (incidentally the opening line) that wouldn't let me be until I did something about it. I'm still not sure where the rest has come from, but I'm not complaining, I love it when that happens.

And I'm not saying give me that one line, of course, but maybe you have some ideas? Because right now I'm watching Firefly (again) and all I can think about is wee!Charles being sent to companion Academy and trained to seduce people. I could write it, of course, but there's this nagging consideration that I might be sent to jail after that and mine won't be as comfortable as what they have in Norway. Okay, so maybe it's not as drastic as all that, but still, you get the picture.

So any Cherik prompts? Anyone?

(I'll be probably x-posting this on Tumblr at some point, sorry if you see this twice.)

Tags:

I haven't read all the fics that have been posted to the fest so far, and I'm afraid my recs won't do justice to the fics right now, but I have to try. I'm afraid the best I can do now is say 'I like them because of reasons,' but if it sounds like it, at least trust me that they have to be REALLY GOOD reasons for me to make a rec. Just this once? :)

This Silly Ol' Dance is Perfect for Two (80567 words) by SlantedKnittingSummary: Arthur is young, gorgeous, talented, and captain of one of the best football teams in England; his life should be perfect. But he can't keep a girlfriend for more than a few months, and it's not just because he isn't ready to settle down. When his most recent girlfriend dumps him, he has a rough night at the pub and has to be dragged home by his neighbour, Merlin. Merlin is an archivist, a Ph.D student, and he hates football almost as much as he hates Arthur. They both have their own reasons for not wanting to spend time with each other, but after that disastrous night, remaining silent neighbors doesn't seem like much of an option anymore. Modern AU.

[Thoughts:]Thoughts:Okay, so I couldn't not immediately think about There Are No Gays in Football. But this story, while exploring a similar (ish) setting, has a completely uninfluenced and original take on it, and the one I liked very much. It's a long fic, even by big bang standards, but it's set at a perfect pace, with no stalling and no rushing, and it's incredibly rare and all the more precious. I loved characterization, goes without saying. Merlin is a bit more flamboyant than I normally prefer, but it totally works here and at no point it's over the top. It pushed me so very slightly out of my comfort zone and I love it when that happens. Arthur was endearing and endearingly a prat, but just as in canon we see how desperately he struggles to do his best and what's best for everyone, and one can't remain indifferent, not even if one wanted. Supporting characters are used beautifully, and the relationships around the main pairing are a gorgeous study all by themselves. I love how balanced this fic is, and how absolutely engrossing. And there's a scene between Arthur and Merlin there that is so electric you can feel it come through the screen. A wonderful read.

Stars Above, Stones Below (46843 words) by DestinaSummary: After the disastrous end of his betrothal to Gwen and the regret of his offer to Princess Mithian, Arthur swears off finding a wife until he's ready to wed. When Merlin offers himself to Arthur as bedmate, Arthur suggests they hand-fast in secret for a single year of mutual pleasure without obligation. As their year together unfolds, and secrets and betrayals unravel around them, Arthur and Merlin learn there is no such thing as uncomplicated pleasure. Everything they thought they knew can change in the span of a single year.

[Thoughts:]Thoughts:I selfishly try to stay away from canon AUs right now, for obvious reasons, but I couldn't walk past this one and I'm so happy. This story is just... precious. The careful, touching, heartbreakingly fragile way in which Arthur and Merlin build their relationship here is moving beyond what I can say. It has all the bittersweet grace and thrill of a doomed romance, one that blossoms in the end, but nonetheless. It's gorgeous, and if it was a painting, it would have been a vibrant watercolor. I can't put it better than that. I loved the thoughtful consideration that went into rebuilding a well-known setting, the infusion of legend, loved how there was a place for everyone and how it all made sense. The magic reveal was handled beautifully. I loved this story so, so much.

The Lonely King (56779 words) by Cori LannamSummary: The Prince of Wales at his school. Merlin was sure it was all just a very bad joke. A modern royalty AU.

[Thoughs:]Thoughts:There can never be enough modern royalty AUs. The amount of thought and detail that went into creating this fic is glaringly obvious and clearly staggering. It shows without being actually seen, and that's a stamp of quality writing right there. Merlin was... absolutely impossible. I'm saying this, grinning from ear to ear. Seriously, he freaked me out, made me laugh out loud, roll my eyes, and fall more in love with him than I already am. Arthur was steadfast and regal, as I imagine he really would be in such a setting. The story itself is also breathing with fresh findings and original plot twists, while incorporating all the unapologetically romantic tropes we love so much in fics like that. Because let's face it, this story just never gets old, and this fic is a wonderful proof of that. :)

We Are All Diamonds (134304 words) by Footloose[Summary]Summary: As the precocious heir of a diamond magnate and a famous designer, Arthur lived his entire life sheltered, protected, nurtured and spoiled. He always knew that he would have to step out from behind the scenes and into the limelight to run the family business some day, but he never expected that it would happen so soon or that he would encounter resistance from a board of directors who believe that his disability makes him unfit to lead.

Merlin has stood on every stage in every city in the world, performing to critical acclaim, but after years of globetrotting, he's well and truly burnt out. He didn't quit -- he ran away from stardom, dropping to obscurity in the blink of an eye, forgotten, just another face in the crowd. He's aimless and without purpose until a friend asks him to fill in on a job.

Neither Arthur nor Merlin are looking for salvation. They don't think there's any for them, that things are just too rotten, too far gone. But in the end, Arthur's quiet strength will be a balm to Merlin's broken soul, and it will be in Merlin's steadfast faith that Arthur finds courage.

Thoughts:I've said this before, I'll say it again, nothing compares with the pleasure of reading a piece of quality writing from an author who knows precisely what they're talking about. Well, very few things do. I felt uncomfortable at certain moments because of how close to the truth it hit sometimes, and I had flashbacks to the mineral shows I've been at or written about, which is not exactly the same thing, thank God, but it was too realistic not to feel it. Then of course there was Arthur, who wasn't heroic so much as was forced to be by the people who have no consideration or tact or desire to show those, by people who find themselves superior for reasons that should never qualify as such. Because sometimes it doesn't take ill will, just ignorance to hurt someone, and this story is a perfect advertisement of that.

The story of Merlin and Arthur here is the kind that makes you wonder about if people really want to be saved and what they're willing to do for it. And the universal truth that it's easier to be there for someone than to allow someone to be there for yourself. If Merlin and Arthur haven't met, I'd like to believe they would have found their way up eventually anyway, but considering where both of them started, it's hardly a given. It makes you appreciate how lucky they were even more.

I don't know. I have a lot of thoughts about it, but you should just read it really. It's compelling from the first word to the last.

Tags:

As previously announced, in one month's time three of my ST Reboot stories will be taken down from this journal. FFN account will probably go down at that time as well. If you have a particular fancy to them, you have that much time to download them. I will ask that the stories not be reposted anywhere afterwards, though I have no objection to a private exchange.

Tags:

So karma's always on guard, you know? While stuck on the beloved frying pan of Friday afternoon Moscow traffic, I was angered enough by someone to speak up about the stupid thing they said. Of course, the higher powers instantly swooped in to remind me that I'm the stupidest of them all because that same day I caught another virus on my machine, I have no idea what possessed me to do what I did when I've been through the exact same thing before several months ago and it killed my system, but there. Maybe it's my screwed up sleeping cycle or I'm having blackouts or really am possessed. Go figure. That same night I had a heart-to-heart with my father, which was painful in so many ways, and I'm still unsure if I did the right thing, and why I am this person who never knows when to speak up and when to shut the fuck up. The next morning I woke up in actual physical pain because that's just my lousy timing for you, or stress making it go ahead of schedule, or whatever. What can I say, I love my life.

I haven't written anything in a week, been completely useless. I'm late with my recs, too, though I've been reading a lot. Some nights ago it was corilannam's big bang that kept me awake. Last night it was red wine (shut up, needs must, okay), and loaded_march's story, which I wanted to put down so many times (because sleep deprivation) but couldn't. Worst of all, I'm so burned out, I can't even scrape together enough words for the recs I want to make. I'll be working on it.

And then there are people who want to see more DNSB... I don't know what to tell you guys. Sometimes it's flattering and encouraging when people ask you for sequels to your old stories or next parts of those. But sometimes... sometimes I just want to crawl into a corner and cry and beg to please not ask me for things I can't give you. I want to. So much, you have no idea. I can't, sometimes just now, sometimes ever, but it's so hard sometimes to hear you ask. It must be alike to what parents feel when their kids that they love more than anything ask them for toys they can't afford to buy. I apologize for the drama queen mode, but sometimes I honestly feel like it's killing me. And then if you never ask, I'd feel that no one wants that anymore... So no, I don't know what to tell you. Just, I'm sorry, I guess. I really do wish I was a different, more capable person.

Right. So that was a bucket of sunshine. I'll come back with recs and taking fic down announcement a bit later.