I Got Drunk Last Night, Now Give Me All The Fast Food

Earlier this year, Medical Daily published Why Binge Drinking Is Followed By Binge Eating. Researchers used mice to test their theory, which showed a correlation between alcohol consumption and “shameful” eating that typically follows a night of partying.

Although they acknowledge it’s obviously unethical to conduct the same experiment on humans, I don’t know that they’d even need to. I’d wager that there’s a reason why Taco Bell has marketed Fourth Meal, why their drive-thru line is always backed up from midnight until 3 a.m., why I used to house two or three Whopper Juniors with cheese on my way into work the morning after a night of drinking, and why Sunday Funday brunch is the cool thing to do.

I love Jimmy John’s, and have wondered how many days in a row I could eat there before tiring of it. However, the half-dozen or so times I’ve ever polished off The J.J. Gargantuan, I drank too much the night before. Now I know that Captain & Cokes, Jäger Bombs, and whatever the cheapest beers were triggered the Agrp neurons in my brain to eat like a garbage disposal.

Because science, I will continue to pace myself to avoid that walk of shame through the Golden Arches the morning after.