The prickly relationship between romance and food has been well documented in memoirs, movies (When Harry Met Sally met Katz's Delicatessen), and, lately, the proliferation of ever more stylish food-porn blogs. Still, we're always hungry for more. And if New York City culinary critic Gael Greene, author of Insatiable: Tales From a Life of Delicious Excess, perhaps the most titillating men-on-the-menu memoir of all time, had a hip, 34-year-old, Rag & Bone–wearing little sister, she'd be Alyssa Shelasky.

Three years ago, when Massachusetts-raised Shelasky, now an editor of New York magazine's addictive food blog, Grub Street, was a plucky reporter at People, she pitched a hot, scruffy food dude she'd seen on Bravo's Top Chef for the magazine's annual bachelors issue. Her editor nixed the idea, but Shelasky had a wild, sixth-sense feeling that she and the chef would fall madly in love, if only they could meet. So she approached him anyway, specifying that their interview should be in person. The next day, Shelasky confessed: There was no article in the works, just a serious crush. Within months, she had moved to Washington, DC, to live with him, a romance she chronicles with corresponding recipes in her memoir, Apron Anxiety: My Messy Affairs In and Out of the Kitchen (Three Rivers), out now.

But sometimes mixing food and sex can get messy­­—and not just in the way you're thinking. Shelasky writes that a few weeks into her DC arrival, Chef was juggling appearances, food parties, and late-night shifts at his new restaurant. (Though Shelasky never names Chef in the book, some light googling will lead you to Spike Mendelsohn, the Top Chef season-four bad boy who came in fifth on the show but still attracts a cool crowd—including the Obamas—to his Capitol Hill restaurant, Good Stuff Eatery.) Lonely, bored, and determined to impress her new man, Shelasky taught herself to cook a few simple dishes. Of her first attempt, she writes, "I collect [a pile of recipes], close my eyes, and pull just one. Deep inhalation. It's truffle and cognac cream macaroni and cheese, a photocopy from...oh, fuck my life...Top Chef: The Cookbook." Within a few months, in February 2010, Shelasky launched Apronanxiety.com, a diarylike blog in which she muses on burned carrots, fallen cakes, and occasional successes (say, her perfectly crispy, juicy roast chicken). What started with lust for a chef had quickly become a love affair with food, which ultimately outlasted the relationship. One year and an engagement later, she gave Chef his ring back. He'd scheduled a food event on their planned wedding day, and she was fed up.

Shelasky moved to L.A., but not even cross-country distance soothed her. "I'd wake up really anxious after the breakup, really sad," Shelasky says. "I had two options. I could either start drinking or [I could] walk over to the farmers market and get some fresh berries and make a batch of whole-wheat muffins to bring over to my neighbors." Cooking became her therapy, a process she shared with her blog's loyal fan base. Today, her site remains a refresh­ingly honest standout in the highly saturated sphere of lipstick-and-ladles food blogs—which are all too often dumbed down by a "she's pretty, and she cooks!" mentality. Shelasky shines both online—where her slogan is "My burning desire to cook, without burning down the house"—and in person, with a warmth that makes it easy to see why Chef and a few other food dudes since him have fallen for her.

The best parts of Apron Anxiety confirm that dating a man who can cook—late night TV marathons with Gruyère grilled cheeses—really is as good as we suspect. (Shelasky's edict: "Every woman has to experience sex with a chef.") She even finds ways to make grocery shopping sound sexy: "You put your hair in a perfect messy ponytail, roll up your boyfriend jeans, throw on your favorite ratty T-shirt, listen to Adele, and nibble on carrots as you walk through the aisles."

She's set a few new rules for her love life, though. "I, Alyssa Shelasky, will never date another chef," she tells me. And to celebrate the launch of her food tome, she's invited nonfoodies: a mix of power publicists and media-ites, her new boyfriend (not a chef), childhood friends, and "some singles, just to see how the night will go after a few pitchers of sangria," to gather on a spring evening on the rooftop of her apartment building in Brooklyn's hip DUMBO neighborhood, just as the Brooklyn Bridge begins to sparkle in the setting sun.

She's cooking, of course, and has chosen recipes from Apron Anxiety to prepare what she calls the meal of her life, in which each dish tells the story of family, her post-Chef kitchen foibles, and her current food-writing gig. The salad dressing is her grand­mother's recipe; the herb-crusted entrée, dubbed Chicken for Hungry and Important People, is a dish she made for a Hollywood dinner party after escaping to L.A. post-breakup; the simple Gorgonzola pasta has Gwyneth Paltrow's roasted tomatoes recipe in it. Nothing Shelasky is serving is too complicated, too staged, or set in stone. Like any hostess worth her embroidered oven mitts, Shelasky always has a backup plan: "We live in New York City, so worst-case scenario, I burn the pasta or the chicken is undercooked and you order a pizza and drink a couple of bottles of wine!"

Shelasky gives a teary toast before guests can tuck into the family-style dishes. "Alys, is this the pasta?" asks her younger sister, Rachel, referring to a romantic rigatoni with slow-roasted tomato sauce that Shelasky and Chef made while vacationing in Greece. "No!" Shelasky shrieks loudly enough to halt all other conversation. "This one," she declares, "is my pasta."

1. Using a meat mallet, pound the chicken breasts between sheets of plastic wrap to 1/2- to 3/4-inch thickness.

2. Arrange the chicken in a 15" × 10" × 2" glass baking dish. Pour the lemon juice over the chicken, cover, and refrigerate for one hour.

3. Remove the chicken from the dish and pat it dry with paper towels. Preheat the oven to 450°F.

4. Melt the butter with the oil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Set aside to let cool slightly. Then mix the bread crumbs, basil, parsley, rosemary, salt, and pepper in a medium bowl.

5. Brush the chicken breasts on both sides with the melted-butter-and-oil mixture. Then coat the breasts on both sides with the bread-crumb mixture. Place the chicken on a baking sheet and bake until the bread crumbs are golden and chicken is cooked through, about 20 minutes.

6. Transfer to plates or serve family-style on a single platter. Garnish with the lemon wedges and serve.

1. Combine wine, apple, orange, and raspberries in a pitcher. Add simple syrup to taste. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes and up to 1 day. Serve over ice, garnish with mint, and top with a few splashes of club soda, if desired.