Did I Tell You About The Time…

My dog is currently in the process of dying (bone cancer) and it’s been a LOT of fun, let me tell ya. *headdesk* I’ve spent every free waking hour with him for the past three weeks and while petting and cuddling with my furry little monster is good for my blackened soul, it does little in terms of intellectual stimulation. Naturally, I turned to internet dating.

It was pretty good timing too, seeing as I’d just received a message from a dude that wasn’t along the lines of “hey sexi. you give me numbr. we shud fuk.” Turns out the dude himself wasn’t interesting… but his profession was 😉

Yes, my friends, I found myself conversing with a sex toy demonstrator.

Apparently he does demos at parties like typical passion parties except, you know, for the live demo aspect. Usually to a crowd of 20 women who apparently get really into it and tell him what to do, when to do it and how. He also takes direction (among the other things he takes) for the climax of the event… I learned a lot.

I learned even more when he invited me to chat over Skype.

For instance, I learned what he looked like naked.

Next, you know that Miley Cyrus pic that was going around teh interwebz a couple weeks ago? Her with the fisting toy? Yeah, apparently that’s a real thing! People actually use that! And so did this guy. He also used the BBC to pleasure himself. No, not the British Broadcasting Corporation. In this instance, BBC stands for Big Black Cock. And damn, was it big.

The whole experience was eye opening. As in, my eyes were open so wide I was afraid they’d pop out of my skull. Of course, then I started laughing because the experience, on the whole (hehehe), was so out there.