Extinct volcano in the Solent threatens to re-connect the Isle of Wight...

...with the mainland. Scientist's predict that in the aftermath of the recent eruptions in Iceland there is a possibilty of an eruption from an extinct volcano underneath the Solent that could spew out enough magma to fill the gap between mainland UK and the Isle of Wight.
The ramifications for this are many with the most crucial one being the name change required for spoof news site 'news biscuit' to re-name it's novelty section the Isle of Wight to just Wight.
Spokesperson for the site a Mrs Nice Admin Lady commented ' this is just so inconvient. We have only just gone through the painstaking process of rebuilding the site and the thought of more changes is horrifying'.
Asked if it would be any consolation to her that the probabilty of this happening was still pretty low and if it did the whole of the South of England would be drowned in a 600ft Tsunami anyway she replied ' not really. Tsunami or no tsunami i'll still have to administrate this site in life or death but if theres one thing worse than hideously drowning to death in a monster tidal wave is the thought of helping to run this through the voice of some bouffanted grey haired scouse median twat like Derek Acorah'.