Episode #87: She’s Not Feelin’ The Goobers

My God – my throat is so sore. I mean, dude. It’s unbearable. It started with seasonal allergies, now it’s just like I gargled with broken glass. Like the punching bag in my throat turned into a swollen ham sandwich covered in marshmallows.

But enough about me – you people don’t care. I know you don’t. You’re all sheltering in place, watching your Netflix, complaining about shrimp ramen. But here we’ve brought all the beauty of this world under one banner of chocolate. This is the third Easter show we’ve done this year. That’s a lot of Easter chocolate. So sit back, enjoy, and stay safe, because we’re all in this together. Actually, the walls are closing in and you’re alone. So join us.

Episode #86 – Easter Encounters Of The Third Kind

Good morning. It has come to my attention that COVID-19 (hereafter referred to as Space Rabies) is a new phenomenon sweeping the nation, and even further, the globe. It is such a popular topic of conversation – it’s like the Beatles was in the 60s! Two things are certain in these uncertain times. First, McDonald’s will continue to supply you with amazing and diverse menu items for your locale at an economic price. The other is that The Chocolate Break will remain a guiding light in your life; a recovery method in your daily regime of not touching your face. We are, and will be, here for you. So sit back, relax, watch this (and all episodes of this program), and then treat yourself to a John Waters marathon by watching Desperate Living, Pink Flamingoes, and Polyester. It will make you extra weird to combat the disease of the new era.

STAY SAFE – STAY WEIRD.

Social Distancing & The Thin Shelled Chocolate Ovum Of The Domestic Hare

Well, it’s that time again – the time of year where the natural order enters chaos mode. Rabbits and hamster laying eggs. Eggs made out of chocolate. Even eggs flavored with sour watermelon. Yeah. It’s not necessary. Really. Enjoy.

Second Annual Easter Extravaganza

Welcome to hell. This episode is coming to you directly from the dark hole of not-very-far-from-Kirkland – where all the sick be at. Our little boy’s school district is shuttered for the next two weeks. Everyone around here is freaked out. But we have chocolate. Good or bad, we have chocolate and that’s pretty good. Everyone – stay indoors and watch the chocolate break if you know what’s good for you. There has been talk that watching our program can cure any disease or condition – donating to our Patreon actually will bring peace to the world as well! Yeah. Believe me.

Broken Dreams Of Chocolate

Hey – yeah you – with the physiognomy that weakly resembles a face! You’re a freeloader (unless you’re one of two exalted wonder-people. This is the fund drive episode. So yeah. And chocolate. So yeah. Thanks.

Episode 81: Star Wars: Milk Boy

Wait a second – did I forget to include a post from last week too? Wait… Oh okay no I didn’t. This is from a new set we did a couple weeks ago. Fortunate! If I ever forget like I did a few weeks back to not do an episode upload and leave you all in the lurch, forgive me. But who are you all? Anyone? Anyone at all?

IT IS YOUR TIME TO DO OUR DIRTY WORK. I’m activating you all. Tell people about the show. Force feed people the show. It is your duty as fans. To do anything else would sadden us, and as your corporate overlords, tis the way of things. Nowm enjoy some tasting.

Well, this is a special occasion. Ten years after our first conflagration in the physical universe, outside the confines of the full duplex telecommunications stream you people call the telephone, we come together to tell of the mysterious juxtaposition of fruit and nut and the feet you can eat. Cheers.