Love That Lasts

It’s Valentine’s Day, a fun and special day for so many reasons. I met our girls in Russia four years ago and flew back to Moscow on Valentine’s Day. Never mind that our plane was diverted and I ended up spending six hours in the Nizhny Novgorod Airport with a very kind stranger who took phone messages and sent texts for me, until finally, at long last we returned to Moscow, tired and hungry, very late at night.

Over the years, we’ve made Valentine’s Day a treat for our four children, and yes, for the two of us. Not that we have to celebrate on that exact day if we happen to be traveling, or otherwise engaged, but still, who doesn’t need to be told that they’re loved?

Love is what holds our family together. This year, Benedetto and I will celebrate our 35th anniversary in the fall. (Yes, I was a child bride. As in four years old. That means I’m still in my 30s if anyone’s trying to do the math.) We’ve continued to grow together, rather than apart. It can be done.

Enter four wild and crazy older kids from Russia, and we had to learn to speak some love languages that were similar to an uncracked secret code.Â Either crack the code… or we would crack.

Some adoptive parents think that their child’s love language involves things. Throw electronics, or other flashy items at the kids and they’ll be your friends for life.

Au contraire.

The love language is time, spending time together as a family, or one-on-one, however it happens, acknowledge each child as valuable and important. Same for us as husband and wife.

Time. That’s our secret. It’s the road less traveled, and the Old World approach, but let’s face it: your loved ones want “you”.

Take time to listen, time to connect, time to pause and smell the roses. On our schedule, easier said than done. It may require sacrifice on your part. But it’s worth it. Never mind the Herculean efforts it takes to get us there and rearrange inevitable, last-minute emergencies.

The other day, Benedetto and I went out to lunch, sitting by a roaring fireplace in a quaint location on a rainy and chilly day.