It's not easy. It's actually quite difficult. There are times where I've wanted to give up but a glimmer of hope shined through the darkness. Here I am today sharing my experiences in the hope that you will find comfort and strength. It's not hopeless. We spouses, girlfriends, etc are not alone.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Counseling and therapy

Staying with and through the chaos is hard. Giving up is easy. Stand up, grab your belongings, and off you go. Yeah, a divorce and child custody case may be involved but when it's over, that is it.

Staying may require therapy or marital counseling. I personally recommend counseling. Counseling gives you a third party perspective that maybe you and your spouse have overlooked. We had experienced counseling twice. Initially, it was through an on-post resource. She helped us some in helping us realize the error of our ways in certain situations. The second experience was through a previous pastor. He helped us to realize we needed to form our own "ways" of doing things together rather than basing our actions of off things we had witnessed through other marriages. It also helped us to recognize what Godly and worldly advice looked like and who gave what kind of advice. An example of worldly advice would be "Don't let him/her get away with it!" whereas Godly advice would be "Think about how you are going to approach the situation, pray about it, and let your actions reflect His will." We now know who can give us the Godly advice.

Now don't get me wrong! There's nothing wrong with worldly advice. Sometimes the worldly advice may seem practical or realistic. Ultimately, people will do what they want. I personally have found the Godly advice to be more practical though. I mean, He does know what the outcome will be!

When my parents got divorced, I went through therapy as a child. I later went to therapy as an adult for problems I was having with my life at that current moment in time. My husband went to therapy a few times, some of which were mandatory. Sometimes working on yourself as an individual will help. You have to build yourself up before you can successfully build up others.

My thoughts: if you don't have it already, you need to download the bible app, YouVersion, onto your smart devices! It's not just the bible. They have reading plans and devotionals you can follow. I assign myself multiple devotionals at a time so that I can find the inspiration and word when I have time. If you have time to tweet, YouTube and Facebook, you can certainly spend 5 minutes in YouVersion!

Prayer: God, help us to seek your will for our lives. Help us to be able to help ourselves. Build us up in a way that would be pleasing to you. In your name, we pray, Amen!