Oct. 5, 2008

October 4, 2008

BEVERLY HILLS–God bless America, and how’s everybody?

• Sarah Palin and Joe Biden squared off in the vice presidential debate Thursday, televised from Washington University in St. Louis. Americans tuned in just to see how many mistakes they would make. That’s why the debate was sponsored by Liquid Paper.

• Steve Fossett’s plane was located near Mammoth Lakes Thursday a year after the billionaire adventurer took off in a single engine aircraft and went missing. His airplane crashed exactly a year before his portfolio crashed. He got out just in time.

• Beverly Hills residents suffered more coyote attacks on their pets Monday. The coyotes deploy females in heat to lure dogs outside, then devour them. In their own defense, the coyotes say the dogs should never have signed up for such stupid mortgages.

• The New York Yankees re-signed general manager Brian Cashman Thursday. The team needs to recapture its focus. Alex Rodriguez cheered up sick kids in the hospital this morning by promising them he would fill an inside straight in tonight’s big game.

• Bill Clinton began campaigning for Barack Obama in Florida on Wednesday. The two men couldn’t be more different. Polls say that Barack Obama seems detached from the needs of ordinary Americans, as opposed to Bill Clinton who was on top of everything.

• Playboy Enterprises sank to $3 a share Friday. Their target readers play video games like Grand Theft Auto. Any game that lets you drive extremely fast without having to pay for gas has replaced anonymous sex as everyone’s favorite fantasy.

• Warren Buffett bought GE Thursday a week after he bought Goldman Sachs. He’s enjoying the bloodbath. Last night Warren Buffett went to a Halloween party wearing the front page of the Wall Street Journal over his face and he won for scariest costume.

• The U.S. Senate passed a Wall Street bailout bill including $200 million