-- In another
traditional story, the Buddha demonstrated impermanence to the beautiful
Queen Khema by creating a vision of a most beautiful maiden who slowly
aged and decomposed before her eyes. (http://home.earthlink.net/~mpaw1235/id10.html)

-- Feeling is known as
"vedana". It can be pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.

-- Pleasant and
unpleasant are illusions, impermanent. In meditation, we see feelings
arise and vanish.

-- We can become bored
with even the most pleasant things.

-- Equanimity is the
goal: to be able to let go of pleasant and unpleasant feelings (not
worry about them); to be able to accept and observe without clinging.

-- If we do not accept
negative emotions (if we are in denial), we become more unhappy.

Comment: By actively
rejecting unpleasant feelings they are made longer.

Bhante: We need the
courage to let go of both pleasant and unpleasant feelings.

-- If someone is
blaming you or does unpleasant things, thank them as a teacher.

Question: What can
Buddhism do for people who are mentally ill?

Bhante: Meditation;
understanding impermanence. For example, a young man came to Bhante's
meditation group. For 2 years he participated without talking.
Eventually he told Bhante that he had had anxiety, hatred and fear, but
that meditation had helped him greatly.

Question: What if you
have a partner who is very negative?

Bhante: Try to help
them. It is better to help them than to abandon them. Try to be a
positive example to them.

Question: What if
someone is always criticizing?

Bhante: Say thank you,
or don't speak out. Don't show anger. There are various ways to reduce
anger inside, such as meditation, distraction, concentrating on tasks.

-- Discipline brings
concentration; concentration brings wisdom.

Question: What if you
want to see them?

Bhante: Have
compassion, then let go.

Comment: If I choose
not to react, they are a teacher. But sometimes a student is not ready
for a teacher.

Bhante: People who
blame and criticize have a sickness. If you react the same way, you also
get the sickness.

-- If you have an
enemy, think of the person's 32 parts and ask yourself "what part am I
angry with?"

Comment: Bad behavior
has a cause. You can ask yourself, "how can I help this person?"

Comment: Example of a
parent with Alzheimer's: need to avoid the illusion that you can change
them; just accept.

Question: Many
Buddhists in America are psychologists. Is that also true in Sri Lanka?

Bhante: There are many
fewer there. Many psychologists have personal problems. But how can you
help others with their problems if you can't help yourself? You don't
need wisdom or mental health to get a PhD.

-- Buddhism goes
beyond psychology, beyond philosophy to dealing with the real cause of
much of our suffering: trying to cling to the illusion of the ego.

Comment: Sometimes
what really helps people is compassionate listening.

The following are
notes from Say Lee's Blog on this session:

Bhante commenced the wisdom session by
introducing the Five Aggregates (skandhas): form, feeling, perception,
volition (another term that has been used is mental formation), and
consciousness. Form (rupa in Pali; incidentally this has the same
spelling and meaning in the Malaysian language, and this is not the
first such link that I’ve come across) refers to the physical body and
environment, and has the distinguishing feature of being constantly
changing, i.e., impermanent. But often times we cannot see nor feel
these changes taking place, and become attached to form and its various
manifestations: I, me, my, mine, etc. Our failure to detach from form is
a cause of suffering as clinging to and grasping form makes our
existence a painful and stressful one.

Once we understand impermanence, just like Khema, a beauty queen who
used to take great pride in her charming self, but realized impermanence
when she witnessed the transformation of an angel through the ages
created by the Buddha, we can then practice detachment.

On Feeling (vedena in Pali), there are three sensations: pleasant,
unpleasant, and neutral. Our habit is to grasp happy things and reject
unhappy/painful things. But pleasant sensations, though positive, are
impermanent as well. Therefore Buddha taught us not to attach to either,
but just be realistic. When a feeling surfaces, just let it rise, then
let it stay a while, and then let it vanish.

Bhante then narrated a story of a man who after inviting the Buddha to
dinner, blamed the Buddha for anything that went wrong at the dinner.
But the Buddha just smiled at his tantrums. After the man had vented his
anger, the Buddha asked, “what if there has been a last-minute
cancellation of your dinner invitation, what would you do?” “I’ll enjoy
the food,” said the man.

And that’s what the Buddha did. He ate the man’s bad words and his good
food too. The moral of the story: do not react.

Bhante’s teacher once gave the following answer when posed the question:
Why are you born? To die. Because while birth is uncertain, death is
certain.

From discipline comes concentration, and wisdom ensues. One of our
problems is not having enough discipline. There are various techniques
to deal with a difficult situation (e.g., inter-personal friction) such
as stay like a log, let it pass, read spiritual books, chant Amituofo,
have compassion, say thank you.

A body has 32 parts. Next time when we are faced with an enemy, consumed
with anger, just think about which part of the enemy that we are angry
about. And our anger will subside.

Notes:

1) Bhante will be
leading a half day, retreat on Saturday, June 30.

2) The website of
Bhante's group (Dhamma Wheel Meditation Society) is
www.dwms.org