The Journal to Stella, by Jonathan Swift

Letter 38.

London, Dec. 29, 1711.

I put my letter in this evening, after coming from dinner at Ned Southwell’s, where I drank very good Irish wine,
and we are in great joy at this happy turn of affairs. The Queen has been at last persuaded to her own interest and
security, and I freely think she must have made both herself and kingdom very unhappy, if she had done otherwise. It is
still a mighty secret that Masham is to be one of the new lords; they say he does not yet know it himself; but the
Queen is to surprise him with it. Mr. Secretary will be a lord at the end of the session; but they want him still in
Parliament. After all, it is a strange unhappy necessity of making so many peers together; but the Queen has drawn it
upon herself, by her confounded trimming and moderation. Three, as I told you, are of our Society.

30. I writ the Dean and you a lie yesterday; for the Duke of Somerset is not yet turned out. I was to-day at Court,
and resolved to be very civil to the Whigs; but saw few there. When I was in the bed-chamber talking to Lord Rochester,
he went up to Lady Burlington,1 who asked him who I was; and Lady
Sunderland and she whispered about me: I desired Lord Rochester to tell Lady Sunderland I doubted she was not as much
in love with me as I was with her; but he would not deliver my message. The Duchess of Shrewsbury came running up to
me, and clapped her fan up to hide us from the company, and we gave one another joy of this change; but sighed when we
reflected on the Somerset family not being out. The Secretary and I, and brother Bathurst, and Lord Windsor, dined with
the Duke of Ormond. Bathurst and Windsor2 are to be two of the new
lords. I desired my Lord Radnor’s brother,3 at Court to-day, to let my
lord know I would call on him at six, which I did, and was arguing with him three hours to bring him over to us, and I
spoke so closely that I believe he will be tractable; but he is a scoundrel, and though I said I only talked for my
love to him, I told a lie; for I did not care if he were hanged: but everyone gained over is of consequence. The Duke
of Marlborough was at Court today, and nobody hardly took notice of him. Masham’s being a lord begins to take wind:
nothing at Court can be kept a secret. Wednesday will be a great day: you shall know more.

31. Our frost is broken since yesterday, and it is very slabbery;4
yet I walked to the City and dined, and ordered some things with the printer. I have settled Dr. King in the Gazette;
it will be worth two hundred pounds a year to him. Our new lords’ patents are passed: I don’t like the expedient, if we
could have found any other. I see I have said this before. I hear the Duke of Marlborough is turned out of all his
employments: I shall know to-morrow when I am to carry Dr. King to dine with the Secretary. — These are strong
remedies; pray God the patient is able to bear them. The last Ministry people are utterly desperate.

Jan. 1. Now I wish my dearest little MD many happy new years; yes, both Dingley and Stella, ay and Presto too, many
happy new years. I dined with the Secretary, and it is true that the Duke of Marlborough is turned out of all. The Duke
of Ormond has got his regiment of foot-guards, I know not who has the rest. If the Ministry be not sure of a peace, I
shall wonder at this step, and do not approve it at best. The Queen and Lord Treasurer mortally hate the Duke of
Marlborough, and to that he owes his fall, more than to his other faults: unless he has been tampering too far with his
party, of which I have not heard any particulars; however it be, the world abroad will blame us. I confess my belief
that he has not one good quality in the world beside that of a general, and even that I have heard denied by several
great soldiers. But we have had constant success in arms while he commanded. Opinion is a mighty matter in war, and I
doubt the French think it impossible to conquer an army that he leads, and our soldiers think the same; and how far
even this step may encourage the French to play tricks with us, no man knows. I do not love to see personal resentment
mix with public affairs.

2. This being the day the Lords meet, and the new peers to be introduced, I went to Westminster to see the sight;
but the crowd was too great in the house. So I only went into the robing-room, to give my four brothers joy, and Sir
Thomas Mansel,5 and Lord Windsor; the other six I am not acquainted
with. It was apprehended the Whigs would have raised some difficulties, but nothing happened. I went to see Lady Masham
at noon, and wish her joy of her new honour, and a happy new year. I found her very well pleased; for peerage will be
some sort of protection to her upon any turn of affairs. She engaged me to come at night, and sup with her and Lord
Treasurer: I went at nine, and she was not at home, so I would not stay. — No, no, I won’t answer your letter yet,
young women. I dined with a friend in the neighbourhood. I see nothing here like Christmas, except brawn or mince-pies
in places where I dine, and giving away my half-crowns like farthings to great men’s porters and butlers. Yesterday I
paid seven good guineas to the fellow at the tavern where I treated the Society. I have a great mind to send you the
bill. I think I told you some articles. I have not heard whether anything was done in the House of Lords after
introducing the new ones. Ford has been sitting with me till peeast tweeleve a clock.

3. This was our Society day: Lord Dupplin was President; we choose every week; the last President treats and chooses
his successor. I believe our dinner cost fifteen pounds beside wine. The Secretary grew brisk, and would not let me go,
nor Lord Lansdowne,6 who would fain have gone home to his lady, being
newly married to Lady Mary Thynne. It was near one when we parted, so you must think I cannot write much to-night. The
adjourning of the House of Lords yesterday, as the Queen desired, was just carried by the twelve new lords, and one
more. Lord Radnor was not there: I hope I have cured him. Did I tell you that I have brought Dr. King in to be
Gazetteer? It will be worth above two hundred pounds a year to him: I believe I told you so before, but I am forgetful.
Go, get you gone to ombre, and claret, and toasted oranges. I’ll go sleep.

4. I cannot get rid of the leavings of my cold. I was in the City to-day, and dined with my printer, and gave him a
ballad made by several hands, I know not whom. I believe Lord Treasurer had a finger in it; I added three stanzas; I
suppose Dr. Arbuthnot had the greatest share. I had been overseeing some other little prints, and a pamphlet made by
one of my under-strappers. Somerset is not out yet. I doubt not but you will have the Prophecy in Ireland, although it
is not published here, only printed copies given to friends. Tell me, do you understand it? No, faith, not without
help. Tell me what you stick at, and I’ll explain. We turned out a member of our Society yesterday for gross neglect
and non-attendance. I writ to him by order to give him notice of it. It is Tom Harley,7 secretary to the Treasurer, and cousin-german to Lord Treasurer. He is going to Hanover from the
Queen. I am to give the Duke of Ormond notice of his election as soon as I can see him.

5. I went this morning with a parishioner of mine, one Nuttal, who came over here for a legacy of one hundred
pounds, and a roguish lawyer had refused to pay him, and would not believe he was the man. I writ to the lawyer a sharp
letter, that I had taken Nuttal into my protection, and was resolved to stand by him, and the next news was, that the
lawyer desired I would meet him, and attest he was the man, which I did, and his money was paid upon the spot. I then
visited Lord Treasurer, who is now right again, and all well, only that the Somerset family is not out yet. I hate
that; I don’t like it, as the man said, by, etc. Then I went and visited poor Will Congreve, who had a French fellow
tampering with one of his eyes; he is almost blind of both. I dined with some merchants in the City, but could not see
Stratford, with whom I had business. Presto, leave off your impertinence, and answer our letter, saith MD. Yes, yes,
one of these days, when I have nothing else to do. O, faith, this letter is a week written, and not one side done yet.
These ugly spots are not tobacco, but this is the last gilt sheet I have of large paper, therefore hold your tongue.
Nuttal was surprised when they gave him bits of paper instead of money, but I made Ben Tooke put him in his
geers:8 he could not reckon ten pounds, but was puzzled with the Irish
way. Ben Tooke and my printer have desired me to make them stationers to the Ordnance, of which Lord Rivers is Master,
instead of the Duke of Marlborough. It will be a hundred pounds a year apiece to them, if I can get it. I will try
to-morrow.

6. I went this morning to Earl Rivers, gave him joy of his new employment, and desired him to prefer my printer and
bookseller to be stationers to his office. He immediately granted it me; but, like an old courtier, told me it was
wholly on my account, but that he heard I had intended to engage Mr. Secretary to speak to him, and desired I would
engage him to do so, but that, however, he did it only for my sake. This is a Court trick, to oblige as many as you can
at once. I read prayers to poor Mrs. Wesley, who is very much out of order, instead of going to church; and then I went
to Court, which I found very full, in expectation of seeing Prince Eugene, who landed last night, and lies at Leicester
House; he was not to see the Queen till six this evening. I hope and believe he comes too late to do the Whigs any
good. I refused dining with the Secretary, and was like to lose my dinner, which was at a private acquaintance’s. I
went at six to see the Prince at Court, but he was gone in to the Queen; and when he came out, Mr. Secretary, who
introduced him, walked so near him that he quite screened me from him with his great periwig. I’ll tell you a good
passage: as Prince Eugene was going with Mr. Secretary to Court, he told the Secretary that Hoffman, the Emperor’s
Resident, said to His Highness that it was not proper to go to Court without a long wig, and his was a tied-up one:
“Now,” says the Prince, “I knew not what to do, for I never had a long periwig in my life; and I have sent to all my
valets and footmen, to see whether any of them have one, that I might borrow it, but none of them has any.”— Was not
this spoken very greatly with some sort of contempt? But the Secretary said it was a thing of no consequence, and only
observed by gentlemen ushers. I supped with Lord Masham, where Lord Treasurer and Mr. Secretary supped with us: the
first left us at twelve, but the rest did not part till two, yet I have written all this, because it is fresh: and now
I’ll go sleep if I can; that is, I believe I shall, because I have drank a little.

7. I was this morning to give the Duke of Ormond notice of the honour done him to make him one of our Society, and
to invite him on Thursday next to the Thatched House: he has accepted it with the gratitude and humility such a
preferment deserves, but cannot come till the next meeting, because Prince Eugene is to dine with him that day, which I
allowed for: a good excuse, and will report accordingly. I dined with Lord Masham, and sat there till eight this
evening, and came home, because I was not very well, but a little griped; but now I am well again, I will not go, at
least but very seldom, to Lord Masham’s suppers. Lord Treasurer is generally there, and that tempts me, but late
sitting up does not agree with me: there’s the short and the long, and I won’t do it; so take your answer, dear little
young women; and I have no more to say to you to-night, because of the Archbishop, for I am going to write a long
letter to him, but not so politely as formerly: I won’t trust him.

8. Well, then, come, let us see this letter; if I must answer it, I must. What’s here now? yes, faith, I lamented my
birthday9 two days after, and that’s all: and you rhyme, Madam Stella;
were those verses made upon my birthday? faith, when I read them, I had them running in my head all the day, and said
them over a thousand times; they drank your health in all their glasses, and wished, etc. I could not get them out of
my head. What? no, I believe it was not; what do I say upon the eighth of December? Compare, and see whether I say so.
I am glad of Mrs. Stoyte’s recovery, heartily glad; your Dolly Manley’s and Bishop of Cloyne’s10 child I have no concern about: I am sorry in a civil way, that’s all. Yes,
yes, Sir George St. George dead.11 — Go, cry, Madam Dingley; I have
written to the Dean. Raymond will be rich, for he has the building itch. I wish all he has got may put him out of debt.
Poh, I have fires like lightning; they cost me twelvepence a week, beside small coal. I have got four new caps, madam,
very fine and convenient, with striped cambric, instead of muslin; so Patrick need not mend them, but take the old
ones. Stella snatched Dingley’s word out of her pen; Presto a cold? Why, all the world here is dead with them: I never
had anything like it in my life; ’tis not gone in five weeks. I hope Leigh is with you before this, and has brought
your box. How do you like the ivory rasp? Stella is angry; but I’ll have a finer thing for her. Is not the apron as
good? I’m sure I shall never be paid it; so all’s well again. — What? the quarrel with Sir John Walter?12 Why, we had not one word of quarrel; only he railed at me when I was gone:
and Lord Keeper and Treasurer teased me for a week. It was nuts to them; a serious thing with a vengeance. — The Whigs
may sell their estates then, or hang themselves, as they are disposed; for a peace there will be. Lord Treasurer told
me that Connolly13 was going to Hanover. Your Provost14 is a coxcomb. Stella is a good girl for not being angry when I tell her of
spelling; I see none wrong in this. God Almighty be praised that your disorder lessens; it increases my hopes mightily
that they will go off. And have you been plagued with the fear of the plague? never mind those reports; I have heard
them five hundred times. Replevi? Replevin, simpleton, ’tis Dingley I mean; but it is a hard word, and so I’ll excuse
it. I stated Dingley’s accounts in my last. I forgot Catherine’s sevenpenny dinner. I hope it was the beef-steaks; I’ll
call and eat them in spring; but Goody Stoyte must give me coffee, or green tea, for I drink no bohea. Well, ay, the
pamphlet; but there are some additions to the fourth edition; the fifth edition was of four thousand, in a smaller
print, sold for sixpence. Yes, I had the twenty-pound bill from Parvisol: and what then? Pray now eat the Laracor
apples; I beg you not to keep them, but tell me what they are. You have had Tooke’s bill in my last. And so there now,
your whole letter is answered. I tell you what I do; I lay your letter before me, and take it in order, and answer what
is necessary; and so and so. Well, when I expected we were all undone, I designed to retire for six months, and then
steal over to Laracor; and I had in my mouth a thousand times two lines of Shakespeare, where Cardinal Wolsey says,

“A weak old man, battered with storms of state,
Is come to lay his weary bones among you.”15

I beg your pardon; I have cheated you all this margin, I did not perceive it; and I went on wider and wider like
Stella; awkward sluts; SHE WRITES SO SO, THERE:16 that’s as like as
two eggs a penny. —“A weak old man,” now I am saying it, and shall till to-morrow. — The Duke of Marlborough says there
is nothing he now desires so much as to contrive some way how to soften Dr. Swift. He is mistaken; for those things
that have been hardest against him were not written by me. Mr. Secretary told me this from a friend of the Duke’s; and
I’m sure now he is down, I shall not trample on him; although I love him not, I dislike his being out. — Bernage was to
see me this morning, and gave some very indifferent excuses for not calling here so long. I care not twopence. Prince
Eugene did not dine with the Duke of Marlborough on Sunday, but was last night at Lady Betty Germaine’s assemblee, and
a vast number of ladies to see him. Mr. Lewis and I dined with a private friend. I was this morning to see the Duke of
Ormond, who appointed me to meet him at the Cockpit at one, but never came. I sat too some time with the Duchess. We
don’t like things very well yet. I am come home early, and going to be busy. I’ll go write.

9. I could not go sleep last night till past two, and was waked before three by a noise of people endeavouring to
break open my window. For a while I would not stir, thinking it might be my imagination; but hearing the noise
continued, I rose and went to the window, and then it ceased. I went to bed again, and heard it repeated more
violently; then I rose and called up the house, and got a candle: the rogues had lifted up the sash a yard; there are
great sheds before my windows, although my lodgings be a storey high; and if they get upon the sheds they are almost
even with my window. We observed their track, and panes of glass fresh broken. The watchmen told us to-day they saw
them, but could not catch them. They attacked others in the neighbourhood about the same time, and actually robbed a
house in Suffolk Street, which is the next street but one to us. It is said they are seamen discharged from service. I
went up to call my man, and found his bed empty; it seems he often lies abroad. I challenged him this morning as one of
the robbers. He is a sad dog; and the minute I come to Ireland I will discard him. I have this day got double iron bars
to every window in my dining-room and bed-chamber; and I hide my purse in my thread stocking between the bed’s head and
the wainscot. Lewis and I dined with an old Scotch friend, who brought the Duke of Douglas17 and three or four more Scots upon us.

10. This was our Society day, you know; but the Duke of Ormond could not be with us, because he dined with Prince
Eugene. It cost me a guinea contribution to a poet, who had made a copy of verses upon monkeys, applying the story to
the Duke of Marlborough; the rest gave two guineas, except the two physicians,18 who followed my example. I don’t like this custom: the next time I will give nothing. I sat
this evening at Lord Masham’s with Lord Treasurer: I don’t like his countenance; nor I don’t like the posture of things
well.

We cannot be stout,
Till Somerset’s out:

as the old saying is.

11. Mr. Lewis and I dined with the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who eats the most elegantly of any man I know in
town. I walked lustily in the Park by moonshine till eight, to shake off my dinner and wine; and then went to sup at
Mr. Domville’s with Ford, and stayed till twelve. It is told me to-day as a great secret that the Duke of Somerset will
be out soon, that the thing is fixed; but what shall we do with the Duchess? They say the Duke will make her leave the
Queen out of spite, if he be out. It has stuck upon that fear a good while already. Well, but Lewis gave me a letter
from MD, N.25. O Lord, I did not expect one this fortnight, faith. You are mighty good, that’s certain: but I won’t
answer it, because this goes to-morrow, only what you say of the printer being taken up; I value it not; all’s safe
there; nor do I fear anything, unless the Ministry be changed: I hope that danger is over. However, I shall be in
Ireland before such a change; which could not be, I think, till the end of the session, if the Whigs’ designs had gone
on. — Have not you an apron by Leigh, Madam Stella? have you all I mentioned in a former letter?

12. Morning. This goes to-day as usual. I think of going into the City; but of that at night. ’Tis fine moderate
weather these two or three days last. Farewell, etc. etc.

1 Juliana, widow of the second Earl of Burlington, and daughter of
the Hon. Henry Noel, was Mistress of the Robes to Queen Anne. She died in 1750, aged seventy-eight.

2 Thomas Windsor, Viscount Windsor (died 1738), an Irish peer, who
had served under William III. in Flanders, was created Baron Montjoy, of the Isle of Wight, in December 1711. He
married Charlotte, widow of John, Baron Jeffries, of Wem, and daughter of Philip Herbert, Earl of Pembroke.

3 The Hon. Russell Robartes, brother of Lord Radnor (see Letter 3,
note 7), was Teller of the Exchequer, and M.P. for Bodmin. His son became third Earl of Radnor in 1723.

6 George Granville (see Letter 14, note 5), now Baron Lansdowne,
married Lady Mary Thynne, widow of Thomas Thynne, and daughter of Edward, Earl of Jersey (see Letter 29, note 3). In
October 1710 Lady Wentworth wrote to her son, “Pray, my dear, why will you let Lady Mary Thynne go? She is young, rich,
and not unhandsome, some say she is pretty; and a virtuous lady, and of the nobility, and why will you not try to get
her?” (Wentworth papers, 149).