Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds... Read more

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It i... Read more

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer ˜ you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfie... Read more

Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes?
Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock?
If we make sweaters out o... Read more

It's thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits.
"Late evening sees... Read more

TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!
A bar called Drummond's (in Mt Vernon, Texas) began construction on an expansion of their building, hoping to "grow" their business. In response, the local Southern Baptist Churc... Read more

In this particular branch of the Army's officer training school, the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security number.
In the early hours of a morning, the instruct... Read more

IT'S SO HOT in Texas.....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.
.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
.....hot water comes from b... Read more

My friend has a bad habit of overdrawing her bank account. One day before we went shopping, I complained about my lack of funds and lamented, "Guess I'll use plastic."
Unconcerned, she whipped out her checkbook and said: "I'm using rubber."... Read more

COULDN'T RESIST ADDING THIS ONE!
Romney – a.k.a. America’s crown prince of running for president, really grabbed England by the crumpets when he said he found London’s preparations for the games 'disconcerting.' That is the same classic Rom... Read more

The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution. It had been a long day.
Father1: Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it?
Father2: Shall I open the window?
Father1: No, t... Read more