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Moms of boys: Was to circumcise or not an EASY decision?

The decision of whether to circumcise my son or not was the
hardest parenting decision I have made in my nearly five years as a parent. As a
Jewish mother, I was especially torn because even though I'm
more culturally than spiritually Jewish, the tradition in my
culture made it very hard for me to consider not making the cut.

Almost from the moment we found out the baby
had boy parts, my husband I dreaded the idea that we had to make this choice.
And yet, I'm glad we had the choice to make.

One woman's crusade to end circumcision is having repercussions
all over the country, though the bans have only been truly explored in the Bay
Area (where it's on the ballot this fall) and now in Santa Monica, California.

It's repulsive. For so many reasons.

As a Jewish parent, I take great offense to the notion that somehow one
woman's distaste for a cultural practice could derail something we Jews have
done since the dawn of our faith. It's unconscionable that something Jews and
Muslims feel is commanded by G-d would be banned by the government.

But there are even health reasons for doing it. The American Academy
of Pediatrics has always taken a neutral approach to the issue, but
even they are amending their recommendations to stress the health benefits a
bit more, namely the role of circumcision in preventing HIV transmission. They
aren't outright recommending it, but they're saying it's a choice every parent
ought to have. And it's one San Francisco and now Santa Monica would like to
take from us.

Never mind that the potential ban is anti-Semitic (which it is). Never mind
that the potential ban completely ignores any health benefits circumcision
gives. Mostly, this is an attack on personal freedoms, on our ability to dictate
what is right for us and our family. I hated making the choice, but I am glad I
had the choice to make.

The fact is, part of being a parent is making hard choices. If we start
banning all the things we find distasteful and unnecessary, we would be banning
everything from earrings to braces and beyond.

I hated everything about making that choice. I hated talking to our
pediatrician on the phone for a total of three hours. I hated crying when I
thought of both choices. And I hated feeling cultural pressure to do something I
didn't necessarily think I would do otherwise. But in the end, standing at the
bris, I felt strong. Even as I also felt my heart breaking (I was eight days
postpartum!) and had tears streaming down my face, I realized it was a good
thing. What we did, we ultimately did with intention and love, in a ceremony
standing right beside him. We did it because we love our son and want him to be
part of our cultural history. We did what we felt was right for him.

This is the same way any parent makes a choice. You hold your breath and you
hope it's the right one. What you don't do is become so self-righteous and
sanctimonious in your own choice that you invalidate the choices of others.

I respect and love my friends who chose not to circumcise, but I expect that
same respect and love in return. I thought just as long and hard and did just as
much research as they did. I hated making that choice, but I was glad I had
one.

I don't support the ban. I believe it should be a parents personal choice. If the parents don't believe in circusmcison then they don't have it done, but for the other parents that do want it they should be able to have that choice.

I had my son circumcised, not based on religion, but by research and weighing pros and cons. It was an easy choice.

It wasn't a hard choice for me. The men I know that have not been, had all had to be at some point with major complications and have voiced regret that it wasn't done when they were babies. With 20/20 hindsight I am even more grateful we did, given the battles over basic hygiene and sensory issues we fight on a daily basis. It is one less thing he has to worry about. The ban is stupid. It is a reactionary one size fits all approach to parenting.

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