Unless you believe that political outrage justifies any kind of violence, you probably aren’t the biggest fan of Kino Jimenez right now. He’s the 30-year-old accused of stealing a 16-year-old’s MAGA cap and throwing a drink in his face at a San Antonio Whataburger earlier this week.

Now, of course, there could be plenty of qualifications behind Jimenez’s alleged act. Maybe they have the wrong guy. Or maybe, as a single witness attested to, the incident was brought about because the 16-year-old and his friends were engaging in racist banter. (This report has led to several media outlets backpedaling and nobody seems to be able to corroborate the witness’ story as of Saturday morning, mind you, but it’s out there.)

Well, as it turns out, neither of those is the case — at least according to Jimenez, a man who desperately needs to be listening to his lawyer. On his way out of jail on Friday, Jimenez decided to deliver a de facto confession to KSAT-TV, saying he assaulted the teen because a MAGA hat is equivalent to Klan robes, as far as he’s concerned.

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“On his way out of jail early Friday morning, (Jimenez) tried at first to avoid a KSAT 12 News camera,” the station reported.

“Once the camera was turned off, he spoke briefly, saying what happened was a lapse in judgment that was out of character for him.

“Jimenez said seeing the hat had the same effect on him that a Ku Klux Klan hood would have had.”

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Okay, firstly: The right to remain silent doesn’t end once you get out of police custody, Kino. Apparently, your lapse in judgment didn’t just stop at Whataburger.

Secondly, a MAGA hat has the same effect as a Klan hood would have had? Really, now? You realize almost half the voters in the 2016 election voted for the person that hat represents. His approval ratings are also hovering in the neighborhood of 50 percent.

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You believe that half of our country is akin to KKK members, Mr. Jimenez? And that makes assault okay? You’re going to have a difficult time getting on in society, then — particularly in the state of Texas.

Oh, and by the way, this is more or less a tacit admission that even if the teens had made untoward remarks — which is again just the unverified report of one witness — they weren’t the impetus for the crime that Jimenez committed. (“Allegedly,” of course, since he’s still not been convicted of anything, but our viral genius seems perfectly happy to admit to what he’s accused of doing.) He assaulted a kid entirely because of the hat he was wearing, which was like a Klan hood to him. Pathetic.

Oh, also pathetic is the fact that authorities aren’t actually charging him with assault — which clearly seems to be what this was from the video evidence — but instead felony theft.

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“Officer Carlos Ortiz, a police spokesman, said SAPD has heard from a number of people who believe Jimenez should have been charged with assault rather than theft,” KSAT reported. “A felony theft charge is unusual in a case like this, Ortiz said.”

Perhaps thankfully for Jimenez, the 16-year-old victim isn’t exactly looking for a pound of flesh from the alleged perpetrator.

“He has a right to his opinion,” Hunter Richard told the San Antonio Express-News. “I’m down for other opinions, and I’m open to conversations. Let’s talk through this and come to some sort of agreement or neutral ground.

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“Let’s have a conversation if you care so deeply.”

Of course, Richard also got a replacement direct from the Trumps, which is probably why he’s somewhat more chill than most people would be. (He’s also told Jimenez he can keep the hat.) Nevertheless, that response is a whole lot more mature than saying you ripped someone’s hat off because it was like a Klan hood to you. We still have to wait to find out the full story here, but one thing’s for sure: Kino Jimenez needs to do some serious growing up.

Writing under a pseudonym, Cillian Zeal is a conservative writer who is currently living abroad in a country that doesn't value free speech. Exercising it there under his given name could put him in danger.

Writing under a pseudonym, Cillian Zeal is a conservative writer who is currently living abroad in a country that doesn't value free speech. He became a staunch right-winger at the age of three: While watching a clip of Ronald Reagan, he told his mother (to her great horror), "Mom, I'm a Republican." Except for a brief, scarring and inexplicable late high-school dalliance with Ralph Nader and his ilk, he's never looked back.
Aside from politics, he enjoys spending time with his wife, literature (especially British comic novels and modern Japanese lit), indie rock, coffee, Formula One, and football (of both American and world varieties). He is the proud owner of a very lazy West Highland white terrier and an extraordinary troublesome poodle mix of indeterminate provenance.