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"The Christianity of history is not Protestantism. If ever there were a safe truth it is this, and Protestantism has ever felt it so; to be deep in history is to cease to be a Protestant." (-John Henry Newman, An Essay on the Development of Christian Doctrine).

"Where the bishop is, there let the people gather; just as where ever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church".-St. Ignatius of Antioch (ca 110 AD)a martyr later thrown to the lions, wrote to a church in Asia Minor. Antioch was also where the term "Christian" was first used.

“But if I should be delayed, you should know how to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of truth.” 1 Timothy 3:15

"This is the sole Church of Christ, which in the Creed we profess to be one, holy, catholic and apostolic." -CCC 811

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Anti-Catholic's Guide to Catholic Comboxes

I’ve been a Catholic blogger for a few years now and I’ve noticed that angry atheists and just plain ol’ anti-Catholic folks can’t seem to stay out of Catholic comboxes. Like moths to a flame they just love igniting flame wars in our comboxes. I think there’s probably some good news in that because they know they’re missing something and I think part of them coming back is to fill that hole in their lives.

I think many Catholic bloggers don’t see the angry anti-Catholic coming. So I offer this as a “What to Expect when you’re expecting anti-Catholic Commenters.”

As far as I know there is no “Guide to Catholic Comboxes for Anti-Catholics” but I thought it would look something like this:

1) If the writer of a Catholic blog has raised the specter of something being immoral (like say abortion), the angry comboxer must bring up the sex abuse scandal as a way of discounting anything or everything any Catholic writer says about anything. In fact, any topic a Catholic blogger wants to discuss can be derailed by accusing them of ignoring the abuse scandal.

2) Anytime a conversation actually starts where something might be learned it’s always helpful to accuse the Pope of being a Nazi. It’s a last ditch thing but surprisingly effective. If you don’t know the name of the Pope during WWII, just say, “The Pope” helped Hitler kill Jews or something like that. And there’s always accusing Pope Benedict XVI a “Hitler Youth.” Sure, registration was mandatory but who cares? It’s a cheap shot and will have Catholics bending over backwards to explain it when the whole time you just want the word “Nazi” and “Pope” linked together as often as possible.

3) In the 21st century it’s become commonplace to accuse opponents of “hating.” These days, if someone isn’t publicly rooting for “gay marriage” you can say “You hate gays!” If the writer is male, also accuse him of being “homophobic.” After you do that, sign into the combox under another name and wonder aloud if the writer who’s now been proven to be “homophobic” may be gay himself.

4) Introduce the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Always a combox hit.

5) Confuse infallibility. Pretend to believe that when the Church says the Pope is infallible it means that Catholics believe he’s some kind of demigod. Confusion is rampant on infallibility. You should take advantage of the confusion and score some easy points. Even the Toronto Star recently had this to say about the Pope:

Though most in the Coptic Orthodox community send their children to Catholic school, they are not Catholic themselves. The differences are slight — they use the same liturgies, though Orthodox Christians differ from Roman Catholics in their belief that the Pope is a human being, not a divine figure

Ha! With help like that in the media, we’ll be scoring easy points for years.

6) Accuse Catholics of only caring about babies before they’re born. This one works quite well in that Catholics often speak out against abortion and don’t talk often about all the Church does for young people with their schools and hospitals. Use their humility against them. We should ignore all the schools, charities and hospitals and just keep accusing them of not caring about anyone outside the womb.

7) Insist that 99.999999% of what Planned Parenthood does for women has nothing to do with abortion. We all know that’s a lie but hey, as long as the media has our back on this one we would do well to continue with it. DO NOT!!! I repeat. DO NOT get into a detailed argument about abortion. The more that’s brought into the light the worse it is for us. If it starts getting too detailed just say that millions of women died from back alley abortions. Actually, just make up the number.

Oh. And don’t defend Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood. She kinda’ was a racist and eugenics supporter. So just keep saying that 99.9999999% of what Planned Parenthood does has nothing to do with abortion.

8) Say that the only reason the Church is against abortion and contraception is because they want more people in the pews to donate money. It’s all about the Benjamins baby! Say this often but don’t get into an argument about it because it doesn’t really make sense because we also say that the Church’s outspokenness on these issues is what’s driving so many people out of the Church. Those two things are kinda’ mutually exclusive but as long as we leave at least five comments between them we should be fine.

9) Scream something IN CAPS about the separation of Church and state being in the Constitution. This will start a long treatise from some Catholic about how it’s not in the Constitution and how it was taken from a letter by some dead white slave owner or something blah blah blah. Let them keep arguing history while you say things like “keep your rosaries off my ovaries” or you can invent your own rhyme if you’re a creative angry person.

10) If your comment is deleted, then sign in under another name and yell about being censored or something.

11) Write “Judge not lest ye be judged!” as often as possible. And then call the Catholic a hypocrite for judging. I know we don’t like quoting the Bible but it’s awesome to use Catholics’ own book against them. There’s currently no greater sin than being caught judging. And if a Catholic says anything is a sin or evil just tell them they’re not allowed to judge.

12) If none of this works, then just string together a bunch of curses.

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266th Pope of the Church

PRAYER FOR POPE FRANCIS

Lord, source of eternal life and truth,You have looked with mercy upon your servant Francis and called him to follow you.

Give him a spirit of courage and right judgement, and a spirit of knowledge and love.

By governing with fidelity those entrusted to his care, may he, as successor to the apostle Peter, Servant of the Servants of God, Bishop of Rome, son of Ignatius of Loyola and disciple of Francis of Assisi, build Your church into a sacrament of unity, love, mercy and peace for all the world.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, Who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.

About the BIBLE

"As Catholics were responsible for writing the New Testament (under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit), the Catholic Church doesn't "interpret" the Bible. We explain it. Protestants can only "interpret", because they are not the author (guided by the Holy Spirit), and therefore, can only guess at the possible meaning of a chapter, passage or phrase, just as anyone can only guess at any author's intentions in any other book. As the author, the Catholic Church is the only proper authority to consult in matters pertaining to the Bible." -Catholic Truth

The Original Names of the 12 Apostles

It’s one of those first things that you memorize in 2nd grade or in religious education: the names of the 12 Apostles of Jesus. We’ve all heard their names in Scripture and in prayers countless times. Also, they are probably some of the most commonly given names in the world! But Jesus would not have called them John or Thomas or Andrew or Peter, etc… those are all Anglicized version of the names of the Apostles. The English language didn't even exist at the time of the Apostles!

So what would their names have sounded like when spoken by Our Lord and what did those names mean? Here are the original forms of the names of the 12 Apostles and their meanings:

Peter The name Peter is derived, via Latin "petra", from the Greek word πέτρος (petros) meaning "stone" or "rock". According to the New Testament, Jesus gave Saint Peter (whose given name was Simon) the name Kephas or Cephas meaning "stone" in Aramaic.

Andrew English form of the Greek name Ανδρεας (Andreas), which was derived from ανδρειος (andreios) "manly, masculine", a derivative of ανηρ (aner) "man".

James the Greater & James The Lesser English form of the Late Latin name Iacomus which was derived from Ιακωβος (Iakobos), the New Testament Greek form of the Hebrew name Ya'aqov. The name comes from the Old Testament figure, Jacob (later called Israel) who was born holding his twin brother Esau's heel, and his name is explained as meaning "holder of the heel" or "supplanter", because he twice deprived his brother of his rights as the firstborn son (see Genesis 27:36).

John English form of Iohannes, the Latin form of the Greek name Ιωαννης (Ioannes), itself derived from the Hebrew name יוֹחָנָן (Yochanan) meaning "YAHWEH is gracious".

Philip From the Greek name Φιλιππος (Philippos) which means "friend of horses", composed of the elements φιλος (philos) "friend, lover" and ‘ιππος(hippos) "horse"

Bartholomew From Βαρθολομαιος (Bartholomaios), which was the Greek form of an Aramaic name meaning "son of TALMAI".

Matthew English form of Ματθαιος (Matthaios), which was a Greek form of the Hebrew name מַתִּתְיָהוּ (Mattityahu) meaning "gift of YAHWEH".

Thomas Greek form of the Aramaic name תָּאוֹמָא (Ta'oma') which meant "twin". (Apparently Thomas looked very much like Our Lord).

Jude (Thaddeus) & Judas Iscariot From the Hebrew יְהוּדָה (Yehudah) which meant "praised". From Ιουδας (Ioudas), the Greek form of JUDAH.

Simon The Zealot From Σιμων (Simon), the New Testament Greek form of the Hebrew name שִׁמְעוֹן (Shim'on) which meant "he has heard". This name is spelled Simeon, based on Greek Συμεων, in many translations of the Old Testament