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OvercomeBullying.org Newsletter #017

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Hi Everyone,

How happy are you? If you are being bullied at work or school (or anywhere for that matter) you might not be able to say you are very happy at all. You won't be happy about the bullying itself but you may have also found that your happiness level overall has dropped and the bullying has affected other areas of your life.

When bullying starts it may not really affect us. We may not even be aware it is happening, as in the case of bullies who go behind our backs to start rumors and skew the opinions of others against us. But as we begin to notice that something is going on and as things escalate it will take more and more time and mental energy to process what is happening. In other cases there will be no doubt that bullying is taking place as the aggressor is blatantly in our face and nakedly hostile. As things escalate and the bully creates more and more negative consequences in our lives it is natural to be angry, confused, upset and depressed that you have been targeted for such undeserved and outrageous treatment.

Of course the direct words, actions and consequences of the bullying contibute to your unhappiness, but how bad things get can be due in large part to things that are within our control.

The effects of bullying can start a cascade of problems that affect all aspects of our lives and contribute to an ever descending spiral of despair. But there are many ways that you can help yourself just by not being your own worst enemy. The more depressed, worried and angry we become the more it eats away at our happiness, the more we want to find ways of alleviating that pain. Some of those ways are not only not helpful but they wind up doing us more harm and making the bully's job easier.

For example, many will start to "self-medicate" using alcohol, drugs and food as a salve for the mind. Of course that leads to even more problems as we run ourselves down physically. But since the root of the problem is our thinking and how our thinking then affects our emotional state another approach would be to get a handle on our thought processes. I'm not saying your thoughts about the bullying and the worry it can create are not justified, it's just that you need to give yourself a break.

Using tools like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn can help you get a handle on your own thought patterns that are doing you more harm than good. Here's a brief descripton of MBSR from Wikipedia:

"Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) is a structured complementary medicine program that uses mindfulness in an approach that focuses on alleviating pain and on improving physical and emotional well-being for individuals suffering from a variety of diseases and disorders. The program was established by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

While mindfulness has its roots in Buddhist teachings, Jon Kabat-Zinn has said that his program is not spiritually based, and is therefore open to everyone no matter what life circumstances they are in. MBSR is practiced by those old and young, sick and healthy, professionals and monks alike. Jon Kabat-Zinn has also said that the psychological principles of mindfulness, on which MBSR is based, have been most clearly articulated by those in Buddhist traditions. Today mindfulness has gained widespread practice in the medical community, and has many modern applications in health science."

If you are new to mindfulness I can recommend the 2 CD set Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Here is what one reviewer on Amazon.com said:

"I have been lucky enough to take two Mindfulness courses and they have changed my life. Both were run by excellent course leaders but nothing compares with hearing Mindfulness founder Jon Kabat Zinn discuss the philosophy and methodology behind it. His wit, compassion and way with words themselves make CD1 compulsive listening as well as explaining the reasons for CD2 which are the practices themselves. I cannot recommend this highly enough to anybody who wants to learn about themselves and especially those seeking release from troubled mind states such as anxiety and depression. Buy it- Mindfulness practitioners will tell you honestly that they make no promises to 'fix things' but it might change your life too..."

In his book, Happiness Rocks, Ricky Powell shares his blueprint to master the art of lifelong happiness. You’ll learn about the painful experiences that made him stronger and how you can choose to be the victor rather than the victim just as he did. You will understand the simple, day to day habits you must form and practice to raise that all important happiness set point and truly begin thriving in every area of your life. Inside these pages are countless tools that will help you open the door to enlightenment, success and happiness beyond measure. Enjoy!

These resources will help you go a long way toward your goal of relieving the stress, anxiety, depression and anger that plague so many targets of bullying.

Anton HoutOvercomeBullying.org

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"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."

~ Martha Washington

What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know

NEW Updated Version now features a new chapter by Ricky Powell, author of "Happiness Rocks."

This ebook is based on real experience. Develop strategies to deal with abusive workplaces and the devastating effects of workplace bullying. Learn how to respond effectively and how to talk to management and HR. Find out how to transform your anger into a force for positive change and explore directions you can take to move forward...

From Conflict to Calm
Cristina Diaz shares her personal story of workplace bullying and shows you how you too can turn conflict into calm. Inside this handbook you'll discover how Cristina went from completely stressed, depressed and even having nightmares about work back to a state of calm control.

I have reviewed From Conflict to Calm and highly recommend it for those experiencing workplace bullying.

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