Monday, December 20, 2010

The girls have been here for nearly a week. I have hardly had a moment to shower or use the bathroom. Im transporting the eldest to and from school, out of district and it's a PITA. I have a list of no less than 13 providers, and last Friday, my phone rang 22 times. Most calls regarding appointments or information for the girls. Things have been going well. The older one is emotional, and that is to be expected. All are well behaved, and eager to please. All are developmentally behind, we had a sort of group therapy session with their psychologist today. The eldest goes once a week, the others every other week. We had a birthday party for the little one yesterday. She is now 3. Her sister turns 4 on the 29th.

Friends, family, and perfect strangers have been amazing about helping out for Christmas. I have only had to purchase a few items, and the girls are going to have a very merry Christmas indeed. Children's services is going to throw a party for all foster children on the 22nd. Their Mother will be there, and my mom (the social worker mom) is driving all the way to Portland to go with us.Each girl has a sparkly new holiday dress for the occasion. The social worker is on vacation, and they have asked me to semi supervise the visit, my Mom thinks this is a bad idea, since I have never met the mother before, she she is tagging along to keep an eye on things. In general I am happy but anxious, exhausted and excited. There are not enough hours in the day and the mountain of laundry in the utility room grows ever more gigantic. I should probably go tend to it now, before it explodes.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I actually managed to get a good chunk of that done yesterday. I have a parent teacher conference with the kindergarten teacher tomorrow at 1.30pm. the social worker and the speech pathologist will be there as well. I have a booster seat, but will have to get Brian to set it up. The rain is coming down in a torrent and we have no garage, so he is likely to get fairly wet doing that. Streets starting to flood a bit. I slipped in the mud last night and hurt my hand and shoulder. My one good shoulder that does not have tendinitis in it. I feel like such an old lady. I got another container to store the toys, the diapers and hair things. Did you know that a package of 56 girls pullups is 21 dollars!?! Im looking to buy some old school plastic training pants. It seems that the little one is still in regular diapers, so Im guessing shes not potty training at all. She turns 3 next week. I think that now is the time, and I have to say that Im pretty good at potty training girls. Speaking of peeing pants, Ive been so excited that I feel like I could. I can hardly imagine a nicer Christmas present for me. I know its selfish, because I know this is a dreadful time of year to move the girls. They see their Mother every Friday, and will do so tomorrow. Then they are coming here! We are to serve them dinner and drive them home. They will be here from 4:30 to 6:30.
It seems that the girl's current foster parents got their court appointed lawyer invovled yesterday (girls lawyer) and the caseworker had to spend some time convincing her that it is the right thing to do. Lawyer is on DHS's side now.

Ive been in contact with one particular clinic in Guadalajara. I sent some basic info to the doc. This could be a trip for summer of 2011. We will see how long the girl's stay. Im pretty set on an IVF at this point, but still debating a mini IVF or saving for a regular one. Even if I miscarry again, I will be able to say that I did everything in my power to give Brian a child. And hopefully have some peace, of some kind in 2012. Embryo donation is not yet totally off the menu, its just not going to happen anytime soon.

Anyone have an idea of what I should serve the girls for dinner tomorrow? Something safe like chicken nuggets and fries? Pizza? I dont want to feed them junk right away, but I want them to be able to relax and enjoy their meal without worrying if they dont like it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Ive started making a list of things that either need to be done in order to prepare for the arrival of the girls, and things that I must not forget to do once they get here.

1. purchase child sized bed pillows and pillow cases (dont forget plastic mattress cover for larger bed)
2. purchase and install a booster seat in the van for the eldest
3. toiletries.. shampoo, detangler, brushes and combs, ribons, bows and hair ties, teeth cleaning implements, body wash etc.
4. pull up diapers for the middle one to wear at night, and the youngest to use all the time. flushable wipes.
5. some more storge containers for toys.
6. figure out how the school bus is going to transport the eldest, from out of district. (I already bugged the social worker about this, so hopefully its being seen to)
7. make appointment to meet with the kindergarten teacher.
8. try to get their pediatrician on the phone to ask general questions about their asthma, and health.
9. see how we can get on the list for the middle girl to go to Head Start
10. figure out when all of their appointments are
12. grocery shopping for kids
13. get a general idea of what the two younger ones might like to do for their December birthdays.
14. Try not to think about their infant sibling too much.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Brian and I have a play date with the girls set up for next Friday. They will visit with us at our house for a few hours. Then on Saturday, we will go to their current foster home. Sunday they have a farewell party with their foster family, and Monday they come here. It seems a little truncated, the transition. But I can live with it, I just hope their little hearts dont break again. Its a damn shame that they have to be shuttled around.

The caseworker said today, that she wants to speak with me more about fostering their infant sibling after mom gives birth in late jan/ early feb. That would make for an awful full house. Of course I want the newborn here. I guess we will just let it play out. Its totally possible that mom will split the state.

Considering the cost of IUI with injects here in Portland (probably around 2500 dollars per cycle) I started thinking, maybe I want to do IVF instead. Ive been looking at clinics in Guadalajara, Mexico. They have many US and UK trained RE's, who speak English. I love the state of Jalisco and have always wanted to venture inland from the coast. So my feelers are out, Im making calls. Asking around on message boards, been in contact with one couple from the UK that has done this, another from the US. A regular IVF with nothing fancy like PGD or donor eggs, would cost at least 15 thousand dollars where I live. A regular IVF in Mexico would cost anywhere from 3-6 k depending on the clinic. They are also offering a mini IVF, which has appealed to me. They mostly stimulate with clomid, and throw in a few shots. Try to get one or two goood eggs out of it, and transfer. Pregnancy rates a bit lower, but still higher than what I could expect with a donated embryo FET. To consider all of this, I have to ignore the RPL demon sitting on my right shoulder and whispering that I will just miscarry anyhow. That my eggs are all rotten. For my family, coming up with 4 thousand dollars and travel expenses, is still a LOT of money. This is a huge risk and I have to weigh it all very carefully and begin to squirrel away the cash.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Still waiting. The current foster family has been informed, and they are freaking out. Two social workers are going early next week to explain more about why the girls are being removed, and how they will be transitioning them. You would think this would be normal part of foster parenting. Some situations just are not a good match. A little more foresight might have prevented this from happening but thats not certain.

So now they say start transition the week of the 13th. I can live with that, but will be awful irritated if we wait for over a month all told, only to have it fall through in the end.