The best hairdos in gaming – Reader’s Feature

A reader takes a critical look at the good, the bad, and the ugly of video game haircuts – from Cloud Strife to Leon S. Kennedy

Lists. Silliness. Completely irrelevant trivia. The human mind craves such things. On this day I strive to sate your needs. Yes, you – you personally. Today we celebrate the best haircuts in all of gaming! I shall give you the three best boy’s and girl’s barnets for the sake of balance. So, let’s cut to the chase! Boys first because, you know, we’re better…

Virgil – well, he is evil

3: Virgil, Devil May Cry 3
I’m not allowing Dante on this list because he has Liam Gallagher’s kind of mop head. No, when Just For Men’s Just Not For You, you need to look like an uber-fascist. Virgil knows how to work it, baby.

Cloud Strife – that must take a lot of gel

2: Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy VII
Because Sephiroth is a big girly-girl in a dress, I nominate Cloud – king of the spiky-haired anime heroes, in the number two slot. Look at that hair, you could hurt yourself on it and I respect that.

Leon S. Kennedy – the floppiest and the best

1: Leon S. Kennedy, Resident Evil 4
How could this man be anything less than number one? Look at that beautiful, blond fringe. Elegant and manly, dashing yet delicate – it is perfection. What was that? Me and Leon should go get a room? Shut up. You cannot destroy our love!

And now, as the Sugababes may have once said, here come the girls!

Barbara – her teeth aren’t great though

3: Barbara the Barbarian, Rayman Legends
Any man who claims he does not have a weakness for red-headed women is either a fool or he is lying. And it is only himself he hurts. Barbara’s wild flames make her a very recent entry to the hairstyles hall of fame, but they secure her place with an axe. And I’m not going to argue with that axe.

Fran – a very long-haired rabbit

2: Fran, Final Fantasy XII
She may look like a star of the adult film industry with real bunny ears, but so what? Such ladies tend to have great hair – even if it is helped along by extensions half the time. In actual fact, Fran looks exactly how I imagine Tina Turner to have looked after a particularly crazy night during the 1980s wearing one of the outfits that Cher deemed a bit too much.

1: Rose, Street Fighter series
Ah, Rose. Lovely, Italian Rose. Would a Rose by any other name still smell as sweet? Well, maybe not actually, considering that she is really Bison’s good side in feminine form and as such probably doesn’t exist. But let’s not think of such things! Being Italian, Rose gets to be at the very height of style and glamour, darling. And a magic scarf. Not even Tom Baker had a magic scarf.

Rose wins this because she has wavy hair and that’s a true rarity in video games, it being so much easier to programme baldies, ponytails and straight, short styles. So, Rose’s purple waves win the day. For herself, for her game series and for her country. To get the Rose look for yourself at home, what you need to do is… oh heck! I don’t know! I’m just a bloke, you work it out!

And there you go. It may surprise you to not see Bayonetta on the list, but her hair is sort of plastered on, so she is disqualified. And it covers her entire body. I respect the natural look, but at some point personal grooming must be considered.

But what have we learned from all this? Absolutely nothing! I have completely wasted your time! And to paraphrase the very wise Tim Bisley: ‘Yes! And I’d do it again in an instant! Hahahahaaa!’

By reader DMR

The reader’s feature does not necessary represent the views of GameCentral or Metro.

You can submit your own 500 to 600-word reader feature at any time, which if used will be published in the next appropriate weekend slot. As always, email gamecentral@ukmetro.co.uk.