What began as a weight loss journey evolved into a realistic way of looking at food, nutrition and life itself. The number on the scale has become less and less important, and the practice of eating real, honest food has taken it's place

Saturday, January 31, 2009

It's Saturday, and time to present yet another addition of "The Incredible Shrinking Family"- the ongoing saga of how a family of three moves to lose a total of 450 pounds.(The guys are still sleeping ). In this weeks episode, the mom steps on the scale and screams in horror

UP 0.4 pounds

Can you hear the groans all the way over there ? Okay, I should be glad considering as of Wednesday the Wii scale showed I was up 7 pounds, and then I changed my eating plan. But then I find there are the other numbers, which up till now have been moving less than the scale. They moved for the better from last week, and it is making me smile more than what the scale could.

Bust- stay the same ( good thing as I don't have much to lose there)Waist-lost 1 inch ( YEAH !!!)Hips -lost 1/4 inch (YAY !)Arms- lost 1/2 inch (Yay !)Thighs-gained 2 inches (hmmm - and they are very achy like they were beat to death)Neck -lost 3/4 inch (weird)

So, this could very probably mean that while the scale is not moving down, I am burning fat and building muscle . The fat that is moving is that dreaded belly fat, which is amongst the worst to carry. All I can do is keep this up, and next week I should indeed see a nice loss on the scale. Overall for the big picture, this is very good news. As far as the challenge and Team Angie, it sucks !

So here is the details for yesterday, which would be FridayExerciseWii fit 10 min (10 min strength)Bike 20 min ( 10 miles)Abdominal work with the stability ball and Pilates bands 20 min ( Why does this only hurt when I stop ?)

Friday, January 30, 2009

I think I had a really good day yesterday ! I felt a lot more calm and balanced, and I did not have a single bout of the hungries at all. I had been noticing for the last week , the more "filling foods" I ate in the form of whole grains, the more ferocious the hungries would come on. I had also been feeling really tired and had this growing brain fog sort of feeling. Yesterday was the first day that I severely limited the starch carbs, and things were greatly improved. The only reason for the snacks was to make sure I got in enough dairy servings for the day, and then in the evening as a force of habit. And best of all, after switching the day before, Wii said I was down 1.3 pounds for the first time in almost 6 weeks. It seems that grains are indeed my enemy, but an enemy that I need to live with. A few years ago I did Atkins and lost 60 pounds, but developed a case of constipation so long lasting and severe that I had to give that way up. I need the B vitamins that come from grains, as well as the nutrients from fruit and cows milk. Eating vegetarian was not my friend either. I developed a systemic yeast infection from the high level of starch carbs with whole grains and beans that made my hair fall out, my skin crack, constant itchy eyes and nose,incredible abdominal swellings and consideration to take out stock in the company that manufactures Monistat and bowel problems that shall not be spoke of. So it seems I am going to have to go about this in a sort of designer diet type fashion.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

So once again I come to a place where I need to re-teach myself how to eat. Funny, but eating is something that you just take for granted as being part of the human experience, and normally you go on autopilot. Then you come to a place where health, economics or other such things asks that you make changes , and suddenly you have to think about each step you take. Weird feeling.So after realizing that my intake is off in balance, I decided to make changes with the very next bite I took. It's mid week, we have what we have in the house, and I am going to make this work. It's my style. Once i determine something is to be done, I do not wait for the perfect conditions, but instead toss myself into it with full force, make mistakes and slip and slide my way till i find my feet. Such is happening now.

Thanks to all of you who have offered such nice words of encouragement and support ! Trying to lose weight and having the standard means fail you is an awful lot like going through infertility. All around you are people who seem to get pregnant just through a casual glance, and it is not happening for you for what ever reason. Then you discover that it is something that is amiss in your body, and it totally blows your self esteem out the window. Even insects can conceive, so why not you ? Nearly everyone around me is following an eating plan, exercising and dropping pounds. Then there is me , who keeps trying but something does not quite connect, and once again I find myself with old familiar feelings that were my companion in the days when I would attend baby showers and wonder when there would be one for me. Just like then , I know in my heart of hearts it will happen, but it is just going to take some out of the box thinking.

So here are the particulars for the day. I cannot say Just what kind of eating plan I am following any more outside of the guidelines of more protein and only whole grain carbs. Something seems to be kicked in, because last night I kept running to the potty.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The last three weeks weigh in have shown a gain or a maintain, which I have been simply smiling, being patient about and telling myself the scale is not the only way to determine success. Okay, keep plugging. BUT, since weigh in on Saturday my Wii has shown that I have experienced a gain every single day. Wear the same outfit, balance board in the same spot,same bat time, same bat channel. Sunday, up half a pound, Monday up 2 pounds, and today up 4.5 pounds. WTF ??? Not constipated, who knows when and if TOM will come again if ever, no cheats, measuring, weighing and journaling every bite, like taste, no sodium filled foods, so why in the heck a 7 pound gain in less than 4 days ?

So I reveiw my food logs, and looking at the pictures it dawns on me. For my body i am eating WAY too many carbs and not enough protien. I have PCOS and it makes me insulin resistant, so end result is that it takes any carbs I eat, holds onto them like it is starving to death, and packs on the pounds. I can and have literally gained weight eating nothing but lettuce. Add a little oatmeal to that and it acts like it is a sumo wrestler wanna be. I know this, but I keep forgetting in the midst of all the other things I keep having to remeber.

So ,time to retool my own menu. Time to add more animal protien and cap the starch carbs. Perhaps it is not too late to save the week.

It has been said that it is more important to take your passion and turn it into your livelihood in order to live a happy and fulfilled life. Same is true with a blog- find something you are passionate about, write about your thoughts and experiences with it, and you will inspire and help others. It is not the only reason people blog, but it is one of the very best.Those kind of blogs stand out as something very special, and often times you don't exactly know why they are special, but you just find yourself heading back there to read over and over again.

Such is the case with my absolute favorite blog in the world Kath eats real food . From what I have come to understand she began on a weight loss journey and slowly came around to determine that she would only eat real food- nothing made with unhealthy ingredients such as high fructose corn syrup,trans-fatty acids, hydrogenated fats and so forth. She loves to cook, as does he husband who does it for a living, and she would include lots of pictures and the recipes. I stumbled onto her blog through another and i was blown away. She does incredible things with oatmeal, but also with polenta, quinoa, veggies and more. I keep reading her posts every day, and my son would glance over my shoulder. He is a kid who adores reading cookbooks and goes weak at the knees for any show on food network. Well, he started asking me to pull up her bold and started really noticing small details like "mom, she does exercise just like me !" or "Mom, I want to make that kind of oatmeal ", or "mom, she takes cool pictures like you !". But the most importaint was he noticed that she does eat things like cake and icecream and cookies, but only in very small portions ! So here is this cute blond girl who eats incredibly healthy,has a wonderfully healthy and green lifestyle, and may be the best role model in the world for portion control ! I say that because now he his taking his snack portions and shrinking them because , and I quote, "it's just like Kath does." I am beyond thrilled ! While I can do an absolute world of things to help hoim in his weight loss, he still has to do the work himself , and he has to make solid those decision making skills that will serve him when I am not there. What Mom and dad do and say are one thing, but seeing evidence that others do so as well is INCREDIBLY helpful. Thank you Kath. You are a definate angel !

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My back and thighs were rather stiff and aching yesterday still, so I decided to begin the day with a session of Yoga on the Wii fit. Years ago I took yoga as a PE elective and I was pretty good at it. I do not practice it regularly any more, but a lot of the flexibility I gained from the practice remains with me to this day. Sometimes nothing works the kinks out better than a really good stretch will for me. The Warrior is one of my favorites for sore thighs, and for my back nothing can beat the Down facing Dog ! It can be bliss !! So yesterday I was practicing the pose, really enjoying the feel of my back being so wonderfully extended, when in walks my son , who giggles and says "nice butt mom ! ". Gee thanks Mister Boy ! Then he decides to roll a ball under me while I am in the pose. All the time giggling . So I tell him why I am doing it, get him to do it as well, and after a few minutes he decides to walk around on his hands and feet while in the pose, and continues to laugh hysterically.It was too funny ! Then he starts saying "Bottoms up ! ", and I could no longer keep a straight face. They say laughter is the best medicine, an I must admit after 30 minutes of yoga and 5 minutes of my son's observations, I felt like a new woman !So here is how the day broke down with food and exercise:

ExerciseWii fit 30 min (Yoga 30 min)Stationary bike-15 min- I have to get a different seat, this one is killing my tailbone

Lunchtime often involves racing to get things done before the afternoon, and finger foods are my best friend. Yes, bad habit but one that is absolutely nessisary. At least I do not develop food amnesia.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The weather turned cold again yesterday here, and suddenly the prospect of bundling up in 50 layers and having my lungs freeze with every breath was not my idea of a good time at all. So after hubby got home from singing at Mass, I suggested we just spend the day at home. My knee was very tender and my thigh muscles were hurting, so being a lazy wimp was acceptable to my brain. Son and hubby spent time playing games on the Wii , the computer and wrestling each other - they are really the best buddies in the world. I decided to begin a knitting project ( a shawl , simply to refresh my hands on how to do the stitches), and hubby and I spent time just talking and being. It made for a nice , relaxing afternoon. It is going to be a tough week homeschool wise, and being refreshed help me to do what must be done.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

First off, I want to say thank you for all the nice comments and encouragement ! I have no intention of giving up the journey for a lot of reasons, but it is always helpful to get those pats on the back when you are feeling low. This stall zone has been happening for me for the last 7 months, and I have tried mixing up the plan, mixing up the foods, not eating my activity points, eating my activity points, dropping carbs, doing only whole grains,the Wendi Plan and nothing works. For whatever reason, my body in it's infinite wisdom is keeping me right at this weight as it deals with other factors at this time it seems. When it is ready, it will move those scale numbers. Measurements for myself ? Changes but not towards a smaller number either. I have actually gained in my hips, my bust and my neck. For me personally, I have less faith in the tape measure than I do the scales.Yet, I am wearing 2 sizes smaller in clothes, smaller sized shoes, smaller sized ring so something is happening positive. I feel more energetic, stronger, more vital and those are more important things than numbers.

Yesterday as we were heading off to the store my intuition started speaking up, telling me that at this time of the year I need to eat more veggies. Non starchy ones, and perhaps less fruits. I get an average of 12 servings of fruits and veggies per day because I really enjoy them taste wise and I enjoy the way I feel from eating them even more. I think I will try to make it my goal for this week to eat even more veggies to see if this helps. Perhaps I have an inner desire to become a rabbit or something.

Yesterday's particularsExerciseWii fit 30 min ( 5 min balance 25 min run)walk 45 min ( note to self- hold off doing this for a while still if you must go grocery shopping.Your knees do not appreciate this at this stage and complain loudly)

Lunch-so sorry Subway, you ain't veggie enough for me !Homemade veggie sub ( 6 inch Whole wheat roll, hummus,swiss cheese,cucumber,red pepperavacado,spring mix -I was really craving a sandwich like this and broke my no bread rule to have it because I could not think of another medium to make it with)1/3 c marinated mushrooms 1/3 Asian Pear( our try it food for the week)Fuji Apple,3/4 c Baby carrotsDiet Sierra Mist

Dinner- the new comfort foodChicken Asiago Spinach sausage in marinara sauce over whole wheat couscoustossed salad ( spring mix, mushrooms, cucumbers, green onions,red peppers,avacado)Water,Wihbone salad spritzers ( contains high fructose corn syrup and other undesirable things so I am going to experiment with some alternatives when this runs out, like flavored balsamic vinegars- I do love the spray portion control though !)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Well, at least it is not a gain. I had a maintain for the week. Last week 227.6, this week 227.6. The rest of the family had interesting results. Hubby lost 1.0 ( double his usual, yay him !!). Son had a great big gain of 4.2 pounds ,which could have happened for one of a couple reasons. One, last week I let him read the scale and write down the number on his own ( and he has a bad tendancy to transpose and scramble numbers) or he is gaining muscle from finally being able to use the Wii fit. I think it is the latter because he has had no slips or cheats and got in 10 hours of exercise this week.Feel the burn !!!

I want to talk about him for a minute. His journey is the entire reason why we began this journey, and his process is amazing. Whenever I get dissapointed in my own body's preformance I look at how he has been doing and it sparks me on. He is autistic, and so it is not the way a normal 16 yr old would do it. I have to do the measuring, counting and recording for him, and when he gets tempted I have to find ways to bypass his sensory overload and help him get a grip. He has come a very long way to understanding what he has to do and how as well as why, but he still needs a lot of hand holding. When he began, he could not be measured on any home scale , and we estimate he was 425 lbsAbout 14 months later he is 352.6We began measuring him with a special tape measure, because the standard one was not big enough. Here is his progress in those terms:Chest then 60-now 53 (17 inch lost)waist then 60 now 50 1/2 (9.5 inch loss)hips then 84 now 63 (21 inch loss)arms then 22 now 18 (4 inch loss)thigh then 38.5 now 31 (7.5 inch loss)neck then 22 now 17 1/2 (4.5 inch loss)

total loss- 80.5 inches that would be 6 ft 8 inches in height. A small basketball player.

I talk about him this morning because once againI feel rather discouraged by my own progress. Main reason for the disapointment is the two challenges I have entered it seems. I know this is a slow road, and will even be slower because of my age and hormonal challenges. Because one challenge is depending on the team as a whole's amount loss, there is a lot of pressure internally that simply was not there. So rather than let this get to me, I turn my focus on my original commitment- to be a good role model and mentor for my son. While my own progress sucks, I look at him and realize that we really are doing great ! This remains he reason why I chose to keep my blog identity The Incredible Shrinking Family, rather than SeeSaw Adventures with an Old Lady in Training !

Friday, January 23, 2009

Today was a no exercise day because I was sore, tired and I had worked out for the last 6 days in a row. So instead I spent the morning transforming this...

into this ...18 pre portioned dinner meals for 3 people. It is something that saves a lot of time, money and calculation ! Buy mega packs of meat at Sam's club, drag out the scale , cutting board, butcher knife, spend one hour playing butcher and weighing the portions, then pack into ziplocks and toss in the freezer. Meals become an absolute breeze ! I also made up a batch of 15 Chicken Spinach Asiago sausage sandwiches on whole wheat whole grain sub rolls for hubby's lunch. I am not really into sausage as a regular thing, but both he and my son are into this qunitessential "guy food" for lunch. At least with making these it comes out a lot lower in points than the kind at the hot dog stands are. They get there happy fix, stay on program , we save money and it's a win win situation.

Took care of other homey sorts of things today, and kept having feelings of dread about tomorrow's weigh in. I don't know why- I have had a great week with both food and exercise, but the same thing has been true for the last 7 months and the scale just refuses to budge in a consistant fashion. I gain 2, lose 3, gain 1, lose a half pound, stay the same and my BMI has not changed at all. Sizewise , everything is getting bigger, i am looking a lot more tones, am stronger and have loads more endurance. I just get so tired of seeing the same decade of numbers for so very long. Perhaps tomorrow morning if I first speak nicely to the scale and promise it flowers, candy and a weekend in Vegas before stepping on it just might show me some love. Hmmmm

There is nothing quite as satisfying with life in the midwest as the wonderful day that the temperature climbs above freezing after a long stretch in the deep freeze ! Add sunshine and flocks of tough winter birds flying in search of food for the first time in days, and it is almost springlike ! Son and I moved some of our workout time to a nice outdoor walk, and it did me a world of good mentally. I get kind of edgy feeling this time of year from cabin fever. It made me feel so energized that I pushed my indoor work a bit too far I think, and come 8 pm I was so tired I could not keep my eyes open. I turned in very early, only to be awoken around midnight with a lot of muscle achiness. I took some Tylenol to make it quiet down and let me get back to sleep, but no such luck. The remainder of the night was spent tossing and turning, so I belive this is a sign to take a break today. Weigh in is tomorrow morning, and instead of being nervous if I have gained yet again, I am using the mindset that my purpose may be to become the Albert Einstein of weight loss. You know, one of those people who all the rules simply don't seem to apply to ? Einstein never spoke till he was 4 and was labeled as retarted as a result. I follow my diet plan to the letter, exercise more than the minimum reccomendation, and gain weigh or stay the same for 7 long months. Yep...I think a rethinking of my true identity could be very satisfying at this time ! When I did sleep last night I had nightmares of a 8 lb gain for this week. Nothing would surprize me any more.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

It was a busy day of back to normal school yesterday as well as menu planning and lesson planning for me. Things got really tense in the frustration department due to math for son and trying to remember what is happening which day for me. Some weeks I just wish I could call something like Seattle Sutton , pay the money and have them deliver all our meals. But then I remember all the reasons I do what I do, and I buck it up.

It was a good day with exercise , and while the hungries still were knocking on my door , I found that they were best addressed with a cup of green tea. I hate these hormonally based cravings ! Right now , at this time of life, there is no assurance of just how long I will have to battle these because things are simply not regular. Could be a day, could be a week, could be many weeks. So finding solutions that really work for me is critical to my long term progress.

Hubby and I spent the evening watching On Demand episodes of Ruby and Diet Tribe. We both like Diet Tribe better, but both shows sparked a lot of intereasting and meaningful discussions. I like spending time like this with my husband. Some days he can be the best girlfriend I could ever want !

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Yesterday was a day to remember. Watching the coverage of the Inauguration, watching the absolute sea of people cheering and celebrating a day that so many never believed that they would see in their lifetime. I was just amazed. I remember watching the day JFK was inaugurated, the day he was assassinated, the day Martin Luther King gave his speech as well as the day his life was snuffed out, and knew that these were part of those events that made this day possible in the conscious of the American People in many ways. One thing that struck me as the most meaningful though was something that no analist, anchor, interviewer or commentator remarked about. Even with the historic precident of this event, even with the sea of humanity having their collective eyes focused on this rare and intelegent human being, here was a man who was genuinely in love with his wife, and she with him. Throughout the speaches, throughout the walks, throughout the events, you could see evidence of genuine affection between them, and it almost fet at times like you had stumbled into a very private moment by mistake. In my book, that makes the man perhaps th finest to hold that office in the history of the office.

Nuff politics- on to the day of food and movement. It was a good one . Began with 20 minutes work on the Wii fit with balance and yoga followed by Breakfast :

Then out for a 20 minute walk, and 10 minutes on the bike while watching the coverage. I would have done more but my son kept asking all kinds of questions about the day and the process, and we had to hit Google for clarifications on several things. Being a homeschooling mom losing weight sometimes means you set your sights for ideal but realize you wind up doing just pretty darned good.Lunch was a Veggie omlette with egg beaters, asparagus, zuchinni,mushrooms,onions,peppersNonfat yogert with cocoa powde and splenda,apple , Diet Sierra mist. A pretty filling meal, but for some reason I struggled with ravious hungries all afternoon. I suspect that TOM is coming ( and has been trying to start for about 2 weeks now), so i reached for on program sorts of foods to try to shut the monster up

snacksTLC bar ,water, Yo digestive plus yogert, celery, carrots,hummus,sugar free puddingnonfat yogert with cocoa powder and splenda. Nothing seemed to shut it up though. I felt like I could eat linoleum or an engine, and if they could be coated in chocolate so much the better !Polenta, Pork and red peppers, green beans, tossed saladDiet Sierra mist

For dinner I tried something different- Polenta in the crock pot. Definately easy, delishious and satisfying !!! The original said it served 8 to 10 so I just made a third of the amount and rather than chill and fry it I simply spread it on the plate to use as a bed for other things. Everyone loved it and my son asked if we could please, please PLEASE have this some mornings for breakfast. It is a definate winner !

Spray the walls of the crock pot. Turn to high. Measure ingredients andadd to crock pot with the rest of the oil. Stir well; cover and cook onlow for 6 to 9 hours (2 to 3 hours on high), stirring occasionally. Tofry, chill in a sprayed loaf pan and cut into 1/4" slices. Fry in insprayed skillet until browned. Serves 8 to 10.

So the day wound up with a lot to remeber and reflect on, a lot of hope to carry as well as 16 servings of filling foods and 96 oz of water and 50 minutes of exercise. Yay me !

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Somehow, yesterday , they day kind of slipped away. The mainstream school kids were off school but we had planned to have school anyway. Began the morning with some Wii fit , I unlocked a longer run (20 min), and I was amazed that I could push myself to do it . I mean, what a great feeling of empowerment ! Yes, it is running indoors and not the same as running outside for real, but it is a thousand times more than I belived myslf capable of a week ago !Breakfast was 1/2 c cottage cheese, 3/4 cup Flax plus cereal, 1 c blueberries, water& coffee

I was so proud of myself and son decided he really wanted to try the running feature more himself, so I told him to go for it and suddenly it was a little too late to get in our planned lessons for the day. So we declared it to be something I refer to as nosy school, where son is allowed to do anything he desires as long as he is learning something and can show me proof of what he is learning. He decided to investigate Japan, and then it was time for lunchVeggie omlette (egg beaters,mushrooms, onion,red peeper,zuchini,white asparagus)apple, water

I decided to take advantage of the lull and straighten out a dresser drawer, leaving son to his own studies. I got involved in trying to match up some mismatched socks when son announced "Mom, I am reading that math book". Hmm, I had no recollection of a math book other than one of the textbooks, which would be very cool but odd for him to read. I asked which one , and he said "the one that talks about nipples". Suddenly, ,the mismatches socks were forgotten. I head out to the diningroom and asked him what book ? He shows me a book called Sex after 50. My son is Autistic, and becomes Mr Literal at different times. So in his odd little brain, because it had a number in the title and was not written in a fiction style, it was a math book. So, we changed plans again and watched CNN for the pre inaguration coverage.

Monday, January 19, 2009

I have a confession. Throughout my life there has been one activity that I look at , and for some reason see people who do it as a step elevated from the rest of mankind for reasons I cannot explain. That activity is running ! Perhaps it was those stories of the Greek God Mercury( or was he Roman) and the stories of Atalanta's race and apple tossing. I don't know, but it is magical. And it is something that I have, up till now, never tried. In the past it was for lack of opportunity, and as an adult it was on Doctor's orders. When I was 18 I tore my Meniscus ( the thing that covers and connects the kneecap) ,as well as had suffered several broken foot bones, ankel bones and so forth. I have arthritis as a result, and have been instructed to stick to low impact type aerobics. For many years I have been a good girl and listened.

Enter the Wii fit, with all of it's fun and affective exercises. Last week my son and I discovered the 2 P run( 2 player) and decided to try it . Main rason is he is still heavier than the balance board's weight restrictions, has been working hard to get there, but this would allow him to be able to join in the fun at long last. You hold the remote or put it in your pocket and run in place. I discovered that I can do this without pain ! So after the two player I started doing more running on my own, and finally unloocked the free run function, where you run for 10 minutes and can switch the channel to watch something else. I ran over 3 miles with that function and fell in love !!!! Now I wonder if I could attempt a real run outside once the air is warmer and the snow is gone. Till then, I will keep running with the Wii, and remebering those Greek Gods

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Yesterday was our anniversary. For 29 years we have lived together , and such a monumental occasion deserves a celebration. Only problem is there were errands to do, snow to dodge all that fancy stuff. There were existing mountains of snow and boots and hats to don , and then when you got someplace fancy you were covered in road salts and hat hair. Ugggh ! On the road you were faced with constant scenes like this :So we decided to just battle the weather and grab a not so healthy lunch at the grocery store that sells produce. The guys got a slice of Stromboli ( think a pizza turned into a jelly roll) and I got a slice of Chicken Florentine pizzaThere was no nutritional information available, so I am estimating this was 8 points. Crust, slices of grilled chicken breast, spinach and mozzarella. This with a bottle of water made for a really satisfying lunch. Another reason we decided on this option and the one to come was that for reasons unknown to me, my body seems to respond favorably to one day of high fat living. I think it has something to do with the same reasons mixing up the plan or switching to the Wendi Plan works for other weight watchers when they hit a plateau. I don't know. All I do know is that if I have a "bad" food day on Saturday and then am good all the rest of the week, the scale starts moving again in a downward fashion if it has gone up two weeks in a row. I keep trying to avoid doing this because of my son. We do everything as a family, and we both work really hard to set a good example for him. Knowing that his eyes are on our every move makes great incentive to never cheat or stray ! So , any "bad things" have to be done as a planned move, with good reason. One of the things in the past that has gotten the scale moving again for me was indulging in gelatto. For those who have no idea what that is, it is ice cream on acid . Very creamy, not as sweet, and when you get it from small mom and pop kind of places, made with only natural ingredients. It is heaven on a spoon. We decided to get gellato for dinner, part as a celebration, part as an attempt to get the scale moving, and here was the responseIt was delish ! The rest of the day was spent in chopping, mixing, putting foods away, housework and other fancy stuff. Later that evening , after the boy was fast asleep, there was music, small talk, cuddling by candlelight and...

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I wanted to blog about something that you don't always hear about. Something that could be called "When diet and exercise are not enough".

Lets say you follow a healthy eating plan to the letter, exercise 8 hours a week or more and still gain weight. One or two weeks it may be muscle gain. A month or more, enter in other factors. By other factors I am not talking about too much sodium, to many processed foods or anything of that sort. For some, metabolic factors come into play. Then for others, hormonal factors may be the cause. And then, enter in the Queen Mother of all wild cards- menopause ! Ladies, are you familiar with the affects PMS has on your body ? It is simply warming up for the thrill ride known as Change of life.

Sure, everyone knows that when this happens you stop having a monthly cycle and you get hot flashes. What many people do not know is that there are a lot of other things that accompany this time. Just as it is true that with pregnancy you do not just get a big belly , no periods and pop out a baby in 9 months. With menopause there are full body changes. In short, nothing works the same as it has all your life. Your ovaries stop working, your adrenal glands pick up some of that slack and they takes your entire endocrine system with you. Did you know that your cardiovascular system goes through extreme changes ? Are you aware that for the majority of women going through the change constipation is the number one complaint ? Did you know that your hair and skin become thinner as a result and sometimes just sitting on a chair can be painful- let alone anything else more interesting ? Did you know that you may have to take facial shaving tips from your husband as a result of the hormone changes ? Let's not mention those other changes- things that used to make your heart go pitter pat , swoon and want to shave your legs for and now just ...well, there and about as interesting white forsting on a snowman.

All of these changes are hard for the body to cope with. Then if you add the extra demands of weight loss to that mix your body starts screaming "ONE THING AT A TIME !!!" . Weight loss results that you experienced in your 20's and 30's are a thing of the past. Where you could push yourself and lose 3-5 pounds in a week at that time will only net you a half a pound loss now- or worse still a gain. And if you are in the time frame where you are moving into the change, the PMS bloat can become an every other week feature, or something you will not see for six months. No rhyme or reason- it is simply your body's way of moving into a change. Quite frankly, it sucks. It Sucks rancid bilge water with dead fish. But like it or not, if you are born a woman, you will go through it. Hormone replacement Therapy is one possible solution, but not without risks. Both my mother and mother in law took this route, and both are dealing with Dementia now as a possible side affect. No thanks- I think I will pass.

So , a bit of advice to the younger women out there who are half heatedly trying to lose weight- DO IT NOW !!!! While it is hard when you are younger, ,it will become an attempt similar to trying to empty the ocean with a thimble once you move into perimenopause. Had I known then what I know now, I would have forced myself back on track as soon as my son as born , and damn the other issues. Please belive me when I say you will not regret making the struggle . And to those of you who are like me, in that "magical" season of change, why attempt it ? Reason number one is that no matter what the scale says, you will be better equipped to deal with the challenges of menopause because of your efforts. With a healthy diet and exercise you can combat the affects on your bones, heart and mental attitude. You will not always see pounds go bye bye, but you will be stronger, healthier and more emotionally balanced because of your efforts. As that song from the 60's stated "You can't always get what you want, you get what you need"

Why ? I seriously think I am about to get a visitor. I am at an age and time of life where these things are NOT regular , predictable or the least bit of fun. No going over points, no slips food wise, to excessive sodium, plenty oif exercise, plenty of water, plenty of fruits, veggies, healthy fats, fiber, protein and all that jazz. Just the hormonal weirdness that every woman must face until her ovaries decide it's time to quit.

Hubby lost 0.6Son lost 5.4 There are times I hate men ! (not relly, I just envy their consistency)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Oh those beautiful brown tones and that soft fuzzy fur !!!! It has been BITTER cold here the last few days , with temps below zero and wind chills so cold they will snap your face off in 30 seconds. (currently the actual tempurature is -17 with a windchill of -50). We live on the third floor of a large apartment building , and normally our place is so warm you can live in shorts all year. But every once in a while the wind comes directly from the east and it feels very cold. With this cold snap plus all the snow on the ground radiating cold, it is freezing in here. Heat is on, it is just simply too much with the wind and the snow. We lived in a drafty old Victorian house for 20 years and every winter we lived there we froze. You had to learn a lot of old timy survivval skills in that place- and I miss it !

After putting blankets on the window , I went and bought a new microfleece blanket for the bed, and I got the first good nights sleep I have had in weeks . Yay warm !!! The temps are going to warm up today, but more snow will come with that warmth. It is a character building winter for sure !!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I was just re-reading a post at my friend Skye's blog, and I decided to answer a few questions that inspired her for myself. It seems that the answers she discerned will lead her to a totally different place than mine will, but none the less they are very good ones to ask yourself. I believe they originated with Bob Greene

"Why are you overweight?"For me, my weight has served as a cushion- a tool to instantly keep harmful people far away from me. It began with a very silly misinterpretation of a message that good eaters are strong people. Then events in life convinced me that the strong people were also the ones empowered with the ability to say no to what crossed their comfort zone when they were not welcomed. It became time to change that originally when I learned that the extra cushion was preventing me from having children. I underwent therapy, began a program of healthy eating and exercise, and conceived, but gained most of the weight back due to a high risk pregnancy and raising a special needs child.

"Why have I been unsuccessful at keeping weight off in the past?"Hormonal changes that came with pregnancy , and then in my body set of a chain reaction of other chemical changes. Motherhood in the early days was very taxing and I had no time for myself because of various lifestyle changes. I lost my groove and could not get it back. Things are different now , and I want to be done with this journey once and for all.

"Why do I want to lose weight?"I no longer have the need for the padding. I no longer have the need of the insulation. It never really served the purpose I had originally thought it would, so why hang onto it ? I want the last half of my life to be authentic- to be embraced by the real me , who is not cushioned under layers of false ideas. I have forgiven those I needed to and said farewell to those whom I must, so now it is time to peel off this insulation once and for all.

One of those lightbulb moments happened. Just as I was pondering the hows and whys and wherefores of Joelle's headspace, the universe started to unveil to me one of the ways I mirror her inner demons. It's not important what the situation was, but rather that I heard that inner response that has repeated over and over again throughout my life. Normally I would listen and go back to my own comfort zone of bad hehaviors. In the past I would do and grab things that would put myself at a great distance from them intelectually or emotionally, or eat to build a great layer of insulation against it.

Not this time !

Perhaps watching Joelle and wanting to smack her made me aware of just how toxic that behavior and attitude is. The buttons were pushed and the Demon that has been my companion for 48 years was awakened, and I considered listening to it.

Instead I told it to "shut the F**K up , leave and not let the door hit it in the A**". My emotional gut was being ripped out, my heart was breaking , but for the first time in my life I responded with the bike instead of a bite of something. For the first time I honestly belived that I am worth the energy and have absolutely every right to exist, count, and live as I desire because I am me and not an extension of something that makes my personhood invalid.I pedaled to peace. Then I walked to gain some clarity of thought. It did not make the situation go away, but it did allow me to fully embrace the idea that if physical hunger is not the problem, food is not the situation. While the situation that pushed the button lingers like a toxic cloud needing a good stiff breeze to despense it, I feel an empowerment and clarity that I have never before felt in my life. It's a darned good thing .

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

There has been something on my mind all day - last night's Biggest Loser ! At first, while watching the show, my mind kept rooting for Joelle to fall below the yellow line and be sent packing. What whining ! What a bad attitude !

However, as the day wears on, i keep thinking about the reality of her. She is one woman who is a prime example of the phrase "it's not what you are eating, but what is eating you". Let's face it, she is a beautiful woman , and even sexy. Big girls are indeed sexy . Those two facts would be enough to carry most women tho the heights of where they wish to go in life. However, thinking back on several of her comments throughout the show, I have come to believe that she is indeed a person whom , for whatever reason, life has come down heavy upon. One whom the events in life has been lead to belive that they are less worthy than the other people on this planet. Perhaps even one that sees herself as a garbage dump for lifes events. Perhaps she has chosen to use her weight as a vehicle to keep herself an arms length from the rest of the world. Something somewhere convinced her that she is not worth the effort, time or attention perhaps. I don't know. I would love to find out though.

I hope she lasts for a few weeks, perhaps even to the finale . While she is annoying, I also think she is omne of the most complex contestants to appear on the show to date.

Let's face it- losing weight can be tough on your own. Losing weight as a family has a lot of built in support, but it makes it kind of hard on Mom, if she is the one to do the planning, shopping, counting and prepping. Such is the case in this household. Both son and hubby know how to count points and figure points, but they both have a kind of food amnesia. My husband is a wonderful, hard working man who will do more than his fair share for all things household, but if left to his own devices thinks food falls out of the sky. My son can cook and does well, but he does not measure anything so calculating is a trick. Easiest , most workable solution is for mom to do the planning and cooking.And truth be told, I like the job 99 percent of the time. When I have a really busy day ,it becomes another story. For me , one of the best tools in my bag of weight loss trips is planning. I plan the shell, and because we are all at different point levels and programs , snacks and sides for lunch and breakfast are used to customize the plan for each of us. Here is next weeks- just posting to perhaps inspire someone else struggling to come up with their own plan

SATURDAYBreakfast Pumpkin oatsLunch-OUT Sweet TomatoesDinner- Nibbles ( we are never hungry for dinner after a buffet lunch)

It is a grand thing when you see TV imitating life !!!! Yesterday morning my son was in a mood where he was not interested in exercising, and i met with my own desire to just spend the day being lazy. It is not going to get the job done weight loss wise, so persuasion was needed. It is one thing to have to persuade yourself, but a whole other thing when you have to , at the same time, persuade a child to do likewise. Once we got going all was well, but the getting there was rough ! Then as we watched last nights Biggest Loser, I could so totally understand what brought Bob to suddenly "channel Jillian". It made for a GREAT episode last night, and the elimination was just gut wrenching.

Still thinking about what to do for the anniversary on Saturday. One thing I jokingly suggested is a trivia game that asks questions about our past 29 years together. Could be fun. The day is also going to feature such exotic activities as grocery shopping, laundry and a run to the library. What heart pounding excitment , eh ?? We will probably go out for lunch at Sweet Tomatoes the worlds largest salad bar. I don't think you can eat anything there that is not healthy. We all love the place but cannot always go there as it is a little out of our normal route for the Saturday errand shuffle. We absolutely have to make our weekly stop at Caputos Our weekly produce shopping could not happen without that store !

Here is the break down of the specifics of the dayBreakfastPumpkin oats( Oatmeal, water, pumpkin)topped with crasins, almonds, pepitas,flaxmeal,coconut,goji berries,olive oilYo plus digestive yogertwater, coffee

Who are we ?

a 50 something mom with PCOS, somewhere in the sea of menopause who home schools , drug her family along on a weight loss journey and learned some important truths . Like so many other roadways, this one is also constantly under construction or dealing with potholes. The road is life itself, and is never a boring journey