What a Flight Attendant Wish You knew

Whether your traveling 24/7 or planning to go for your first time, there are a few things you should know before you fly (and no, were not talking about the safety procedure)!

1. It's an Airplane, not a Gymnasium
You can stretch out your legs or walk around the plane, there is no problem with that. However do not prepare for cross country! Please don't start doing squats in the isle while I'm trying to serve snacks or drinks. I have had to deal with a woman who was sticking her barefeet up in the air and waving them around; and when I asked what she might be doing, she simply said, "Stretching." Then continued to wave her "Grocery-Store Feet" in the air.

2. Stop complaing about a crying baby!
I know it can get annoying but can I ask you this: Have your ears ever pop? Usually you just yawn or drink something and it goes back to normal. Babies don't know how to pop back their ears, sometimes drinking doesn't work. Anyone who has ever had them pop and pop again knows how irritating, painful and frightening it can be (it feels like you just want to take a needle and stick it in your ear). Two ways that might work to relieve your baby's pain are a) Drink something b) Let them suck on something such as a pacifier or a bottle

3. The number one complaint of all time: The kicking Kid.
I can't recall how many times I have to say to a mother to please control her child's kicking. Now being a mother myself, I know that is a bit tricky, however, if you figure out why he is kicking (Boredom,or anger or just because) try to give him something to do like a watching a movie on a DVD player (which is the best thing for travelling), a coloring book, or something quiet he might like. Also, if your worried about making a scene, then place a bag or something infront so that either he kicks that instead or it will be close enough to his feet so he cannot kick and just say, "I need to put this here," or something like that. Also, let them walk about around the plane to get rid of energy.

4. We flight attendants talk
We talk about the man in row 27 who was being mean to his wife, or that cute little baby girl in first class. It's not all bad things, we can talk about the elderly couple going on their honeymoon and how sweet that is. Or we can talk about the two five year olds kicking, screaming, and crying while the parent screams back at them.

5. Stop the @$*&^% swearing!
Even if there isn't a person younger than 18 in sight, it would be very much extremely appreciated if you cut the sailor talk and don't use anything more than "crap".

6. Please don't sneeze anywhere!
The people sitting around you will thank you if you do not just sneeze in the air without cover up. According to the WHO (World Health Organization), you should only sneeze in your hand if you have hand sanitizer or sanitary wipes available, the other times, you should just sneeze in your elbow.

Whether your traveling 24/7 or planning to go for your first time, there are a few things you should know before you fly (and no, were not talking about the safety procedure)!

1. It's an Airplane, not a Gymnasium

1a. We know that, but your airline is so shitty that everybody's legs get cramped because of the lack of space. I'll wave my legs in the fucking air before I let your airline induced blood clot kill me. THANKS.

2. Stop complaing about a crying baby!

2a. I will when you fucking DO SOMETHING about the crying baby.

3. The number one complaint of all time: The kicking Kid.

3a. My number one complaint: lazy stewardesses that don't tell the kid to sit down, shut the fuck up, and stop kicking other people's seats. DO YOUR JOB.

4. We flight attendants talk

4a. Nobody gives a shit what you say, you glorified sky waitress. We'll never see your ass again.

Whether your traveling 24/7 or planning to go for your first time, there are a few things you should know before you fly (and no, were not talking about the safety procedure)!

1. It's an Airplane, not a Gymnasium

1a. We know that, but your airline is so shitty that everybody's legs get cramped because of the lack of space. I'll wave my legs in the fucking air before I let your airline induced blood clot kill me. THANKS.

2. Stop complaing about a crying baby!

2a. I will when you fucking DO SOMETHING about the crying baby.

3. The number one complaint of all time: The kicking Kid.

3a. My number one complaint: lazy stewardesses that don't tell the kid to sit down, shut the fuck up, and stop kicking other people's seats. DO YOUR JOB.

4. We flight attendants talk

4a. Nobody gives a shit what you say, you glorified sky waitress. We'll never see your ass again.

Screaming babies don't bother me as much as they did before (probably cuz I have one), and they never bothered me as much as stinky people, sick people and stinky food. I was once seated near a filthy gasbag. The guy had his carry on shit in old, wrinkled paper bags. He was so nasty. Another time I sat behind a guy that was sick. Coughing, sneezing, blowing his nose. Then, he started applying some sort of smelly ointment on his head. It wasn't Vicks (I love that stuff) it was like licorice and feet. Oh, and the time the guy next to me washed his feet!!!