A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

William Rivers Pitt Writes Off John Kerry

He's on a roll! After months of being in a dry spell of doing nothing but copy & pasting dull news stories and even duller Democrat policy papers, Pied Piper Pitt is back in action with his second DUFUable post in two days. In this DUmmie THREAD titled, "The writing on the wall is getting clearer for Kerry and an '08 run," Pitt in effect writes off Kerry's chances by posting a Boston Globe ARTICLE in which Teddy Kennedy indicates that he might not support Kerry this time around. This is Pitt's way of saying that he has finally gotten in touch with reality and has figured out that there is no chance that Kerry will ever hire him for a Presidential campaign, especially after his recent ADMISSION of personal incompetence. Of course, an element of anger against Kerry for failing to see Pitt's previous sense of his own brilliance is probably a strong factor here and this is Pitt's way of backstabbing Kerry just like he has already betrayed Dennis Kucinich. The question is WHERE does Pitt go from here? True, he provides loads of comedic entertainment for the readers of the DUmmie FUnnies but it is not something of which he can make a career. Investigative journalism? We saw where that went with his Karl Rove scoop last May 12. As far as writing books, outside of providing therapeutic material for patients of insomniac wards, that is also a dead end. And, of course, we know that teaching is out for Will for reasons best unsaid. Is there an opening for a bartending job at Bukowski's? Come to think of it, my teetotalling bartender uncle Marty, would caution against hiring bartenders who indulge themselves in alcoholic endeavors. So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt write off John Kerry in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who may soon be endorsing a Presidential candidate whose identity will shock all, is in the [brackets]:

The writing on the wall is getting clearer for Kerry and an '08 run.

[The writing on the wall is getting clearer for Willie and any future career.]

Kerry and Kennedy have been political partners for approximately ten billion years. For Kerry, this statement below is pretty much the political equivalent of finding three flat tires on his car right before a trans-continental road trip.

[It's still better than finding out your car had four flat tires on the road trip to nowhere last May 12.]

Kennedy drops support for a Kerry presidential run in '08By Rick Klein, Globe Staff December 11, 2006

WASHINGTON --Senator Edward M. Kennedy Monday dropped his public commitment to support Senator John F. Kerry in a 2008 presidential race, saying that he won't wait "indefinitely" for Kerry to declare his intentions while the Democratic primary field takes shape.

Kennedy said he doesn't currently plan to endorse another candidate and still might support Kerry if Kerry decides to run. But in an hourlong interview with the Globe's Washington bureau, Kennedy offered strong praise for two of Kerry's possible presidential rivals: senators Barack Obama of Illinois and Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York, calling them "formidable figures" who are connecting with rank-and-file Democrats.

Kennedy said his oft-stated commitment to support Kerry again was based on the assumption that Kerry would state his intentions by early 2007. Since Kerry pushed back his decision in the wake of following an election-eve "botched joke" that damaged his public standing, however, Kennedy said he has informed Kerry that he may get behind another Democrat for president.

"I was under more of the impression before that he was going to run and was waiting in time (to declare his candidacy), but now he's deferred that decision," Kennedy said. "I have no plans of supporting anyone else at this juncture. I'm also not going to just wait indefinitely until he's made a judgment or a decision."

Kennedy's comments come at a difficult time for Kerry. Early polls show him far behind the leading Democrats in potential presidential fields, and many party activists want Democrats to look for a fresh face in 2008.

Aides and associates said Kerry has been assessing the political fallout from his comment _ eight days before midterm elections _ suggesting that poor students "get stuck in Iraq." When Republicans blasted him for insulting the troops, Kerry apologized, calling it a "botched joke" meant for President Bush.

[Kennedy has assured Kerry that he will be swimming across the Chappaquiddick Channel to find an emergency team to rescue Lurch's sinking campaign. And now to hear from the rest of the DUmmies...]

Okay, I will take the first flame-thrower shots here. Good for you Ted. We need better than the same old crap.

[Teddy has Kerry's back.]

I admire Kucinich but he has "Dukakis" written all over him.

[He has DU-Kaka written all over him.]

Kerry offers an opportunity for a genuine new kind of Democrat. someone who is his own man.Not only that but someone who gets it right most of the time and could actually lead this country. He is by far the most qualified candidate.

[Is that you, John Kerry?]

I gave a bunch -- $$ and time I was on on the phone, booking a flight to OH when his concession was announced. Talk about a kick in the guts.

[You're only $10 away from being kicked in the guts again.]

Time to move on, John. You tried, now let others carry the torch in '08

[Kerry can now only stand by himself on shore and watch the Barack Obama Superstar wake wash past him.]

He had his chance and f*cked it up.

[Kerry or Pitt?]

Kerry is running until he says he isn't. Kennedy still supports him!

[Until he doesn't.]

Not only witll Kerry not run for prez in 08, he won't run again for Senate. He is so unhappy that he could not defend what he felt was most important to him: the honor of his service in Vietnam. That is so sad, but it is true. It comes from one of his closest political advisors.

[It's kind of hard to stay in the Senate when even your fellow Democrats there diss you.]

Kerry could change his mind.

[The sun could rise in the morning.]

Jeez. Now I feel dumb for having posted it.

[Pied Piper Pitt, taking a cue from his non-mentor, Kerry, has flip-flopped before we even reach the end of this thread.]

You only have to read in between the lines to know that Ted is really saying. Don't waste your time, John!

[Don't waste your time, Will!]

He still doesn't have that knack of connecting. He's too stiff, among other things.

[Yeah but his jockstrap is still larger than yours.]

Mr Pitt, you should know better than to jump the gun on anything reported in the media.

[We all know how Mr. Pitt resisted the temptation to jump the gun on reporting Karl Rove's indictment last May 12.]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

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