News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

We’re a proud town, this lot here in the centre of the west side of Devon, we often refer ourselves as North Devon, but west centre Devon we are, so close to the border we live, that some people like to put the cream on top as unacceptable it is. But Holsworthy is about to become famous again after our Welly Wangers made records.

The town which we know as the home of the largest ASBO ever issued to a house has now got another achievement up its sleeve. It appears that Holsworthy has become a regional storage centre for scaffolding.

Many brands have come together to share parts of the town to store their massive erections, long hard metal beams and tightly gripping joints, the odd plank here and there, oh, and some wood flooring for the planks to stand on.

The addition to the Regional Scaffolding Storage Centre will hopefully attract tourists to Holsworthy in the same way Bude Tunnel does for them, accept, we can climb our scaffolding drunk. Good luck doing that with your Tunnel you bunch of scone hating VW molesting surfers.

We spoke to the Mayor of the town, Saint John of Hutchings, he had this to say:

Having this amount of scaffolding is amazing, we’ve never seen our town stand out so bright with this amount of sturdy, strong erections, planks everywhere.

We spoke to our MP Mr Cox who had this to say:

Cant talk right now, trying to get another promotion, sod off.

The Holsworthy Mafia are as always, pleased with the towns accomplishments, it never fails to amaze us how well Holsworthy can do.