Metro exclusive: Read some Miley Cyrus dinosaur erotica

Authors Christie Sims and Alara Branwen gained Internet notoriety after writing several volumes of dinosaur erotica, including “Taken by the T-Rex” and “In the Velociraptor’s Nest.”

The two friends met at Texas A&M University, where they are both students, and found that writing erotica was not just fun, but also profitable. They decided to write lurid tales of ancient, scaly creatures having their way with women (under pen names, of course) and saw their novel idea take off. Branwen spoke with Metro about her strange success and even offered up a bonus: an amazing, Metro-exclusive, dinosaur sex scene with everyone’s favorite pop star, Miley Cyrus.

Metro: How did you get into dinosaur erotica? Is it really just for the money?

Alara Branwen: I first got into dinosaur erotica because I was burned out on doing dragon, were-creature, and the other kinds of erotica that I was doing at the time. I so burned out on writing it that I thought about quitting. However, as I was going for a walk one day, I thought about “Jurassic Park.” My mind immediately went to my work and I started picturing huge dinosaurs having sex with young women. I died laughing. I thought that writing a dinosaur erotica would be fun and would possibly reignite my passion for writing. So I wrote a dino word porn. The story was fun to write and it rekindled my excitement for writing.

Do I write it just for the money? No. Of course, money is part of the reason I write. Since I am a writer, writing is my job and therefore [money is] part of the reason I write. However, I write dinosaur and fantasy creature erotica becasue it’s unique, funny, fun and it is fresh enough to give me new ideas each time I sit down at the keyboard.

Where do you draw literary inspiration for your prose?

I get a lot of my basic writing structure from, believe it or not, Isaac Asimov. I am very fond of his simple style that is very clear and makes it easy for readers to connect to him. When it comes to my sex scenes though, I draw a lot of inspiration from R. A. Salavatore. His combat scenes are what taught me how to write action oriented scenes. Piers Anthony and Robert Hienlien are also big inspirations for my work for various reasons.

How did you get your books noticed in the first place?

I think they got noticed at the level they have been noticed because someone made fun of my art covers and story titles on their blog. Other people made fun of my work on their own blogs. Jezebel saw the stories and did a piece on it, as did the Daily Mail. Then my book titles spread like wildfire. Now they are all over the place.

How do you two divide your work?

Christie and I both write together. Basically I write until I get tired, and then Christie takes over. Together we are able to do about 5,000 to 9,000 words per day on working days.

Who are your readers?

If you want a breakdown of our fans its about 60 percent men and 40 percent women. Most of our readers seem to be between the ages of 24 to 60, with most of our readers being in the 30 to 40 age range.

Do they seriously fantasize about dinosaurs or is there some sort of irony on their part, too?

I think they do seriously fantasize about dinosaurs, dragons, minotaurs, centaurs or whatever the story is about. However, some readers buy the stories just because they think they are funny or crazy. It doesn’t matter to Christie or me why our readers buy them, just as long as they derive some kind of enjoyment out of them.

Do your friends know you write this stuff?

Yes, and they all think it is either cool or hilarious.

Who illustrates your covers?

A good friend illustrates our covers.

Do you think you’ll get sick of dinosaurs at some point?

Christie and I have actually started talking about when we are going to retire and go into things that are not porn related. However, we plan to write monster erotica for the next couple of years. We are still having fun with it. I, personally, am going to keep writing it until it’s not fun anymore. When a creative medium stops being fun, that is when you should move on, or at least that was what I was told.

Finally, here’s a wild card: Can you give us a sample on how you’d write up a sex scene between Miley Cyrus and a velociraptor?

(Warning: the following content contains adult material, and is probably NSFW)