Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

Okay, let me try to rephrase Tom's joke in a way you might understand. Let's pretend you're Cal Ripken and Mitch had just said that you're the best Mexican he's ever seen.

Tom: "Tommy? He's barely a good Puerto Rican."

Now do you get it?

Where the fuck is the punchline? Is the joke supposed to be diminishing a catcher's skills? For it to be a joke, there would have to be an understanding that it's easier to be a catcher than a shortstop. There is no such understanding in baseball. It makes no fucking sense.

That's not even how Tom phrased it, you dipshit. You're phrasing it like that because that's what you think he meant. If he wrote it like that, I would have picked up on his intent. Even if still wouldn't have made any fucking sense. It's far more reasonable to think that he just had catchers on his mind because he was about to talk about Johnny Bench's place on Mitch's list.

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

Originally Posted by HotHamWater

Where the fuck is the punchline? Is the joke supposed to be diminishing a catcher's skills? For it to be a joke, there would have to be an understanding that it's easier to be a catcher than a shortstop. There is no such understanding in baseball. It makes no fucking sense.

That's not even how Tom phrased it, you dipshit. You're phrasing it like that because that's what you think he meant. If he wrote it like that, I would have picked up on his intent. Even if still wouldn't have made any fucking sense. It's far more reasonable to think that he just had catchers on his mind because he was about to talk about Johnny Bench's place on Mitch's list.

Tom, will you please clear this up?

I bet you all the money in New Mexico--i.e. approximately 32000 dollars--that I am absolutely right. And it's pretty universally acknowledged that the most difficult position to play as a fielder is shortstop.

Originally Posted by amyzzz

Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang

I bet you all the money in New Mexico--i.e. approximately 32000 dollars--that I am absolutely right. And it's pretty universally acknowledged that the most difficult position to play as a fielder is shortstop.

Catchers, like shortstops, are often on the team because they can play the position, not because they are worthwhile hitters. And catchers don't last because it is such a strain on their knees, etc. It is by no means universally acknowledged that shortstop is the most difficult.

I mean, really, Tom's mention of Ozzie Smith is not entirely laughable even though he was barely above replacement as a hitter because he was the greatest fielder ever.

Mitch, have you been to Abravanel Hall? If so how often do you go and is there anything you're looking forward to? How is it that y'all get to see Florencia? Why is the USO season programmed so oddly?

Your new job is adding professional sports teams to Salt Lake City. Y'all have the Jazz and Real Salt Lake so the NBA and MLS are done. In what order do you go after NFL, NHL and MLB? What others would you go for? How long do you think it would take to collect them all?

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

I wrote catcher because I was thinking about the choice of Johnny Bench and then I realized i also objected to Ripken so i added that at the beginning but wrote catcher because I had catcher on the mind, but I meant shortstop. Randy has just doubled the net worth of the state of New Mexico.

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

Originally Posted by algunz

Which 3 people living or dead would you invite to your perfect dinner party? All friends and family that you would normally invite are already on the list. What would you ask each of your newly invited guests?

For the record, the first person I would invite to any mythical dinner would be my paternal grandfather -- "Papa" -- who passed from lung cancer when I was three and a half, and of whom I have precious few memories. I'm told he would have had a particular affection for my sense of humor. In fact, if I could have any "Field of Dreams"-type moment, it would be going to a game with my Papa, my Uncle, and my Dad. There is literally no amount of money that I wouldn't pay to go to one afternoon ballgame with those three.

But to answer Gunz's question: I would invite Camus, Hemingway, and Faulker for a far-reaching discussion about existentialism, writing, women, and liquor. I don't have many specific questions in mind; I would just want to be there as the conversation developed.

Originally Posted by buddy

Best piece of advice you've received, or read, and why it impacted or still does?

Something your family members, friends, and even OG Bob doesn't know about you?

If you had to save one song for future generations what would it be, and why?

Wow, these are great questions. The best piece of advice that I ever received was from my father. He told me over and over, from a very early age, to take pride and ownership in my work, irrespective of how great or small the particular task or occupation may be. I've found that when I have lived to that ideal, I have had success in school or my career. It has also helped me feel less alienated from the day-to-day grind of life and work.

I don't think I've mentioned this to anyone, but I would really like to have the sensation of free falling: bungee jumping, skydiving, something along those lines. I've always wanted to do it, but I have been too afraid to try, and wouldn't know who to talk to in order to make it happen. If you're asking for something more internalized, it's probably that I am far more emotionally vulnerable than I let on. I know that sounds overly abstract, but it's hard for me to think of specific definitive secrets that I have, and not just for the sake of avoiding candor.

I'd pick "God Only Knows," as documentation of the pop song's perfection.

Originally Posted by Somewhat Damaged

Mitch, have you ever received a blowjob from what you later discovered was or suspected to be a man?

Which country is most disproportionately proud compared to its accomplishments? (i.e. Puerto Ricans)

No, but is it weird that I kinda feel uninteresting as a person because my answer is "no"?

The Vatican. If we're not counting them, probably France, who, let's face it, has been coasting on nostalgia for a while now. As much as this analogy pains me, France is to contemporary countries what Notre Dame is to contemporary college football.

Originally Posted by Originalbob

If money wasn't an issue, what would be your ideal vacation and the duration?

How disappointed were you when you barely missed the 2012 Coachella lineup thread prediction?

Favorite underrated album of the year?

Probably three weeks: France, Spain, Switzerland, Italy, and Greece.

Extremely disappointed. I really want to win that next year. Already working on it!

Chairlift.

Originally Posted by lehorne

Would you rather have general knowledge in many areas or be an expert in one?

Do you feel like pop music is a waste of time?

General knowledge in many areas. I'm not someone like Robert Caro where I could go and spend fifty years of my life studying and writing about the political career of LBJ, no matter how great I could become just focusing on a singular topic. I need to sink my teeth into new things, and to have a broad base of interest.

No, I adore "low" culture, including pop and rock music. Say what you will of Leaves of Grass, or Huckleberry Finn, or Gershwin, or Pollock -- movies and pop music are America's great contribution to the world's culture.

Originally Posted by mountmccabe

Mitch, have you been to Abravanel Hall? If so how often do you go and is there anything you're looking forward to? How is it that y'all get to see Florencia? Why is the USO season programmed so oddly?

Your new job is adding professional sports teams to Salt Lake City. Y'all have the Jazz and Real Salt Lake so the NBA and MLS are done. In what order do you go after NFL, NHL and MLB? What others would you go for? How long do you think it would take to collect them all?

I've twice been to the Utah Symphony at Abravanel. A truly splendid concert hall, and an experience I really ought to repeat. I regret having not yet taken Originalbob to the Symphony. I know that the USO does a number of summer outdoor concerts, but I'm not aware of how their schedule compares with other regional orchestras, and I couldn't explain the reasons for any differences.

Truth be told, I don't make it to the Symphony often because I am something of a philistine. I've never developed an ear for orchestral music or the opera, and my breadth of knowledge with the "high" arts is largely confined to the cinema and drama, art, and literature produced after the 1850s. Honestly, I haven't even done sufficient cultural homework on jazz, blues, classic Americana, and all of the other antecedents of rock and roll.

I doubt there's interest for the NHL. We would need a real population boom to get the NFL or MLB. I don't think MLB is going to expand again, ever. Outside of the coasts, baseball is something of a dying sport culturally. I've lived here for a number of years, and like a lot of red state America, we're just not a baseball town. The Angels AAA affiliate never sells out. The NFL would be intriguing because, well, what city doesn't want the NFL? It is the national sport, and SLC is a market that could legitimately sustain interest in a new team because we really don't have an established loyalty elsewhere: the Broncos are the closest thing to a "local" team, and they even advertise here, but I don't sense we're really a Broncos market. There are a lot of Niners fans from regional allegiance to Steve Young. After that, you get a smattering of Seattle fans or Arizona fans, and a lot of Cowboys fans, simply because they're everywhere. Locals care more about the Utes and the Cougars than any NFL team, but that could easily change if there were a local team. But let's face reality: LA doesn't even have an NFL team, and we're waaaaaay down the list after that. So if the NFL ever came here, we're talking 20 years easily, depending on the Wasatch front developing into a population corridor that rivals Phoenix or Denver. Who knows, maybe: we have the highest birth rate in the country.

SLC really is the classic old-school, small market, family-owned NBA town. We have some growing up to do before we move up to the next level.

Originally Posted by HotHamWater

Mitch, how do you think Randy feels about being inferior to a Mexican at something that doesn't involve manual labor?

I suspect that he is thumbing through old Baseball Prospectus almanacs as we speak -- even though he doesn't even like baseball -- in order to find a way of continuing the argument and resolving it in his favor.

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

Boxers, Briefs, or Commando?

So you mentioned that because of your upbringing you waited until you were 22 to lose your virginity. What is the specific story on how that happened? For your first time was it everything you hoped it was going to be? How awkward was it the next morning?

Also you've had a very entertaining week, good job!

Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein

Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

Originally Posted by mountmccabe

Catchers, like shortstops, are often on the team because they can play the position, not because they are worthwhile hitters. And catchers don't last because it is such a strain on their knees, etc. It is by no means universally acknowledged that shortstop is the most difficult.

I mean, really, Tom's mention of Ozzie Smith is not entirely laughable even though he was barely above replacement as a hitter because he was the greatest fielder ever.

Mitch, have you been to Abravanel Hall? If so how often do you go and is there anything you're looking forward to? How is it that y'all get to see Florencia? Why is the USO season programmed so oddly?

Your new job is adding professional sports teams to Salt Lake City. Y'all have the Jazz and Real Salt Lake so the NBA and MLS are done. In what order do you go after NFL, NHL and MLB? What others would you go for? How long do you think it would take to collect them all?

Bullshit it is not. I know dick about baseball, but if you're trying to tell me that the position of shortstop doesn't perform more activity and require more agility than any other position during a round of fielding, you're just being an asshole. I'll look up the statistics if you insist, I just happen to know it to be true. Excusing the catcher on the grounds that their position is vital is stupid--a pitcher is even more important than a shortstop, but we're talking about fielding. Catchers have to do relatively little fielding except in the event of bunts and plays at the plate, do they not?

Originally Posted by TomAz

I wrote catcher because I was thinking about the choice of Johnny Bench and then I realized i also objected to Ripken so i added that at the beginning but wrote catcher because I had catcher on the mind, but I meant shortstop. Randy has just doubled the net worth of the state of New Mexico.

You fucking suck. I tried to make you look clever and instead you just fucking sucked.

Originally Posted by HotHamWater

Mitch, how do you think Randy feels about being inferior to a Mexican at something that doesn't involve manual labor?

Interest in professional sports is possibly the lone more substantial indicator of one's low economic status than whether their labor is manual. There's a reason your people are taking baseball from the blacks. Whoever's dumbest plays baseball.

Originally Posted by amyzzz

Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

So you mentioned that because of your upbringing you waited until you were 22 to lose your virginity. What is the specific story on how that happened? For your first time was it everything you hoped it was going to be? How awkward was it the next morning?

I should clarify: part of the explanation for my long period of virginity was my religious upbringing and associated moral guilt and baggage. But a good deal of it also has to deal with the fact that I was totally and completely awkward in dealing with the opposite sex during my formative years. It is very possible that I could have been a late bloomer irrespective of my upbringing.

She was 19 at the time, but was very experienced. We worked at the same temp job over the summer, had went out a few times, and she essentially propositioned me (I think she understood that I hadn't done this before, she certainly made the whole potentially awkward process as easy as possible on me) and I accepted. I'll save the more prurient details for myself, but I will note that in retrospect, nothing particularly noteworthy or amusing happened, aside from me losing my virginity. I enjoyed it, felt no guilt the next morning, and was resolved that thenceforth, my sexual preference would be "often."

Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

Originally Posted by ivankay

Hey Mitch.

Before you get out of here, please answer my go to question: What's the worst physical pain you have ever experienced? Please tell the tale.

I really had to think about this one. I guess that means I have been fortunate to have not had too many serious injuries in my life. The absolute worst that I can distinctly remember happened when I was playing football in sixth grade. We were doing a practice drill where the coach would toss you the ball, and one of the other guys on the team would run at you from like ten yards away and tackle you. You weren't supposed to elude the tackler, but rather work up a head of steam and brace for the direct hit. This of course was a stupid drill for several reasons including the inherent danger involved, the lack of useful football skills being taught, and the fact that I wasn't even a running back. When it was my turn, I of course drew the team's most ferocious hitter, a linebacker who would eventually end up playing college and semi-pro football later in life, and who at that age was already a physical specimen. He stuck me right in the numbers, drove me to the ground, and I suffered what I can only imagine was a serious concussion from the resulting impact. It all hurt like hell, it was something like 90 degrees outside, and I walked around the rest of practice in a total near-blackout haze. Where things really got bad was when I got home. I went into the bathroom, took of my practice uniform and pads, and proceeded to vomit like I never have before or since. I spent the rest of the night woozy and achy.

The worst recent pain I experienced was the result of medical care for an uncontrollable nosebleed I experienced this past winter due to dryness. The docs not once, but twice, had to cauterize a wound deep inside of my nasal passage using silver nitrate. The experience was something close to having a bee sting the inside of my face and injecting the wound with buffalo wing sauce venom.

Originally Posted by guedita

This question is for Mitch and whoever the new person may be:

On a scale from minute to absolute raging, how bitchy do you find Courtney to be?