Have you ever been in a BDSM relationship that went totally wrong? Do you think that any of that was caused by not knowing what you were getting into? If not, what was the ultimate demise?

Also, have you tried to turn an existing relationship
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Have you ever been in a BDSM relationship that went totally wrong? Do you think that any of that was caused by not knowing what you were getting into? If not, what was the ultimate demise?

Also, have you tried to turn an existing relationship into a BDSM relationship? How did that work out?

I haven't been in a BDSM relationship gone wrong, but sure, I've turned an existing relationship into a BDSM relationship and it's worked out great (still together to this day). We're closer than ever before and I'm certain that opening up to each other about our kinks contributed a lot to that.

I've never had one go wrong, but then most of my life was spent trying to get vanilla partners to be kinky. It's not like I ever got far enough down that road with most of them to get it to go wrong. I had one relationship with a guy when I was very young that I tried to turn into a 24/7 deal (without knowing what any of it was due to my age). Yeah, that was a major failure, but I mostly blame that on being young. Didn't help that we were both subs and I was trying to get him to be a Dom. Yeeahh... Research is good for things like that. That was also before the internet was what it is today, so it was harder to get good info.

My current relationship was never fully vanilla. From our first kiss we kinda established a D/s dynamic. It started out BDSM-light and grew from there. We now do a 24/7 dynamic after many years of building the trust needed to allow for that and pushing each others' limits in the bedroom. It's still a new change for us, but so far it's been a very good one.

my first Domme was an abusive, alcoholic. She was not a good candidate for Domme-hood, even though she had lots of experience. She hurt me emotionally, very badly, with long lasting effects, though thankfully all the physical pain was the good kind, no actual injuries.

my current relationship started as a regular dating relationship, though i made pretty plain from the beginning that i wasn't vanilla and never would be. W/we made the switch to add a D/s dynamic fairly early but certainly not from the get go. It's been a little tricky to change habits as W/we've added rules and protocols to our relationship but so far it's going well overall. W/we're making the change gradually, adding in protocols a few at a time to see how it works, building a contract slowly as W/we find what fits and suits U/us and what doesn't. She is still my Girlfriend, which helps when we're in the company of vanillas or "muggles" but i also call her Mistress or Ma'am now. it has been a wonderful journey so far and i'm so blessed and lucky to be Hers. It has been an experience of opening up, communicating and bonding in ways neither of U/us has never experienced in past relationships. i believe it's helping U/us build a stronger relationship with crisply defined, black and white boundaries and expectations and it all makes me very happy.