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Simplicity

Life is complicated. Relationships are complicated. Friendships are complicated. Life choices are complicated. Or are they? Is it possible that our excessive need to complicate life is just merely giving us something to do?

In our utter and complete fear of being bored are we perhaps overcomplicating every single thing in our life for the mere fact that it just gives us something to think about incessantly, or to complain about to our friends, or to distract ourselves from ourselves?

Could it be that our fragile little egos claim they want happiness, and inner peace, and simplicity from life situations but deep down are deathly afraid of this because in order to have true happiness and simple joy and uncomplicated relationships with others would mean the death of a majority of the jibber-jabber mind chatter that our ego spews out all day long?

Without over-thinking, worrying, complaining, and complicating everything to the point that we overanalyze every single situation the ego would lose 90% of its hold on us.

Our true self thrives in simplicity, in fact it is simplicity. It knows that anything outside of simplicity is merely our ego or false self begging for our attention.

As long as it has our attention we won’t pay attention to what is real and true… which is that we don’t need to spend so much time thinking about how we can go about achieving happiness. We already are happiness. We don’t need to spend all our time trying to get love from another person, we already are love.

As long as the ego can overcomplicate every situation to the point that we don’t see that all is well and perfect, it has already won. But the reality of the situation is, it doesn’t have to be this way.

As Confucius said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

Here are five ways you may be making your life more complicated than it needs to be:

1) You live in your head too much

Our minds are constantly trying to make sense of everything. They are going over every single “what if?”, “why did they do that?”, “what does this all mean?” so much so that they forget that all of life is happening in the present moment.

Literally only this present moment exists. So mulling over past conversations, or stressing about future events literally just drives us mad. We spend hours playing out scenarios in our head that have never happened and may or may not ever happen. We overthink everything that we are completely disconnected from what is real and the beauty of experiencing the present moment when it actually happens… in the present moment.

2) You want to make everyone happy all the time

Trying to please everyone might work every once in a while, but most of the time it will be an impossible feat. In order to please one person, it is inevitable that you will upset another person to some extent.

There will be times when everyone in your life is going to have their own opinion on how you should live yours, so trying to satisfy them all would be undoable. How about you just do what makes you happy?

Yes some people will have something to say, or may be disappointed, but this is your life right? Once people in your life catch on that you have made yourself your first priority, they will be less inclined to ask you to go out of your way just to please them.

Also, they won’t be so shocked when you tell them “no” instead of desperately trying to prevent them from being upset by just doing exactly what they tell you to.

3) You believe your perception of life is the absolute truth

Here’s a secret: Your perception does not equal truth, it only means just that… YOUR perception. So the cashier at the store isn’t necessarily a rude witch, just because you perceived her that way. Did it occur to you that maybe she is dealing with a problem in her personal life? And the girl/guy you went on a date with isn’t necessarily an insensitive jerk.

Maybe they’ve had a really difficult childhood and they don’t know how to open up to people very easily. Regardless of the situation, we must realize that there are always two sides to every coin.

When we stop convincing ourselves and others that we know exactly what is going on in other people’s heads and why they act the way they do, we stop wasting so much time judging, complaining and criticizing others.

We simply see things and people as they are, without imposing our own little story on them which may or may not be anywhere near the actual truth.

4) You don’t trust that there is a higher intelligence at work

Whether you call it the universe, or God, or Source, or the all that is, there is a force that is working behind the scenes in every single aspect of our lives. There is never a moment that we are separate from its presence because in all actuality we come from it, meaning we ARE it, just a tiny little slice of it.

Our feeble little minds can’t comprehend this, so because of that we try to make our own plans and agendas on how things in our life will go. News flash: things rarely go the way we thought they would, right?

This is because the higher intelligence knows what’s best for us, even though we are convinced we know. The higher intelligence sees a bigger picture, it knows the reason your car wouldn’t start today was because there was going to be huge collision on the highway right when you would have been driving on it.

Accept and surrender to whatever it brings to you or brings you to. It is always giving you exactly what you need in any given moment, your only assignment is to: TRUST

5) You’re not honest with yourself

This is a big one and actually a lot harder than it seems mainly because so many of us hide ourselves from ourselves so much that we don’t even know what the truth is anymore. Believe it or not a lot of people are comfortable in their misery. They have become so accustomed to it that the mere thought of not having something to be miserable about sounds like the scariest thing ever. So they fool themselves.
admire the simple beauty in life
They rationalize, justify, and make excuses of why they still need to work at the job that they feel sucks the soul out of them, or they need to continue to cling on to an addiction of whatever the object of their desire is.

As long as they can evade actually being honest with themselves, which 9 times out of 10 is that they are afraid, they can stay comfortably unhappy. This for some reason sounds better than simply admitting that whoever or whatever or wherever is never going to bring them any closer to the happiness they claim they want.

Life really doesn’t need to be hard. In fact, when we start to simplify it we realize that the simple life is where true joy and happiness actually lives. We take things and people at face value. We trust the process of life and don’t overanalyze everyone and everything. So, if you do anything, do this… keep it simple.

I’m a recluse as much as the next guy… At least, that’s what I thought.

After a recent move to a city that welcomed one too many nights out and one too many clubs to name, I came to the harsh realization that my aversion to nights out and the company of others was not normal and I was coming off as, well, rude.

I thought there was nothing wrong with choosing to spend Friday night in the company of myself and my empty apartment.

I thought it was okay to enjoy walking alone more than with a friend. I thought it was healthy to relish in all those moments of solitude.

To people trying to be my friend, or at least use me as a pawn in their game of nights out, I was the antithesis of everything they wanted.

I tried to make myself go out more, push myself to spend Friday nights in the company of others and try to enjoy all that mindless chit chat that came with money spent on too many drinks.

Soon, I began to hate myself and those around me. I started worrying about insignificant nonsense that shouldn’t bother me.

And after one too many nights spent around everyone but myself, I decided that enough was enough and I would spend as much time alone as I ******* please.

I like my company, even if it’s just a little too much, because there’s something beautiful about being at peace with yourself. There’s something comforting about knowing I can come home to myself every night and love it.

There should be more respect for people who can relish in themselves. There should be more admiration for those who aren’t scared of being alone.

There should be some nice words about the loners and the introverts who are content with themselves and don’t need anyone to feel better.

Because loving your alone time is many times a lot healthier than hating it. Those who bask in their own company are the ones with significantly fewer worries than those who need to be around people to fill that void.

The loners, introverts and asocial people of the world are the ones spending their time creating and growing from themselves, rather than worrying about what everyone else is thinking.

They never worry about how they come off

People who like to be alone are more secure than those who are so good at showing face. They are the ones who are never second guessing their actions or working on their appearance.

They don’t care what people think of them because they, themselves, are their harshest critics.

They never worry about what they just said

The only times people who like their alone time are going out is with people who deserve their shared time. They don’t spend it with people who will judge them or people they worry about taking what they said the wrong way.

They don’t spend hours lying in their beds thinking about what they said or didn’t say back there. They are confident around the people they choose to talk to.

They never worry about acting like they have something to prove

People who enjoy their own company are not the types to put on airs. They never have to act like they have something to prove because they never have anyone to prove anything to.

When you meet them, you will see they are completely themselves, because that’s who matters to them. If you don’t like them, that’s just one fewer person they need to worry about hanging out with.

They’re never worried about doing things they don’t want to do

They don’t sit in bed wishing they didn’t have to go to a party where they hate most of the people just so they won’t spend Saturday night stuck with their own thoughts.

They never replace alone time with empty interactions. Their solitude is never rationalized or bargained for by trivial moments with undeserving people.

They’re never worried about ending up alone

They don’t have that irrational fear of never finding someone. If anything, they fear they will never understand how to share their alone time.

They don’t date people just for the company or settle for unfulfilled love just so they won’t end up alone.

They never worry about finding something to say

Because they’re not constantly putting themselves around others, they’re not constantly searching for new topics and talking points.

They know who they are and what they like and they don’t have to pretend to be interested in things just to keep the conversation going.

They never worry about missing out on something

They never have fear of missing out because there’s no place they’d rather be than with themselves. They don’t find it a wasted evening when they don’t go out.

In fact, they see it as the opposite. In our hectic schedules, getting a night to ourselves is easier said than done.

They never worry about being single

They search for meaning in themselves and take pride in that relationship. They don’t need to feel validated by the significant others they’re supposed to have.

They make sure they are completely in love with themselves before they worry about finding someone else to love.

They never worry about needing time to think

They spend their alone time exploring all the unexamined spaces of their mind. They don’t go to parties or friends’ houses wishing they could just have a moment to think, alone.

They are constantly thinking and constantly wondering. They are never without moments to ponder those questions that need time.

They never worry about having to lie or exaggerate

Their lives are complete by themselves. They don’t have to name drop or worry about being cool enough around the people they’re with because they don’t care about impressing current company or making new acquaintances.

They aren’t about collecting friends or racking up phone numbers. They know who they are and there’s no need to exaggerate about that.

And then there are very old souls, such as myself, who aren’t even impressed by their own Twin Flame… as in… “Whatever, I’ll see you on the other side.”… : D

Simplicity. It’s the simple things in life that capture us. Simple living and simple pleasures in life ground us and make us feel all warm and cozy inside. Extravagant dinners, jewelry, and sparkly gifts may be the key to some people’s hearts but not an old soul.

Impressing us is so simple, it’s scary. An intimate conversation on the beach with a candle or a night of camping under the stars is like heaven on earth. Give us experiences and most of all, give us your time.

Alone time. Old souls are pretty intense, spiritual people. It’s not a facade or front we put up, but a lifestyle we live to stay connected to ourselves and to our spiritual path. Time to decompress, detach and meditate are crucial to our well being. So if we turn down an invite to a bar once in awhile, don’t take it personal. Instead, understand our need to be with ourselves because there is probably a reason we are needing some alone time.

Dreamer. As most people only dream when they sleep, we dream constantly. Daydream that is. Sometimes we need a partner to snap us back into reality, but also one who understands our dreaming is what excites us, dreaming inspires us.

Romantics. –ahh, sigh– We love romance and everything that comes with it. Sometimes, expecting a little too much from people trying to win our affections. This can cause some let downs and learning experiences for both partners. Old souls need someone that can pull them out from the clouds when needed and bring them back to a beautiful reality.

Comfort. I’ve always felt like the “grandma” of my friend group. Throwing on a big comfy sweater, staying in to cook dinner, and snuggling up while someone reads to me would be like, so amazing. Going out is good here and there, but know for us, being comfy with our significant other takes the cake.

Free bird. We want freedom. Freedom to chase whatever is worth chasing to us. Nothing holding us back or stopping us from pursuing our dreams and desires. Rather, someone who encourages us to chase and to succeed. Aside from longing for a stable and simple life, we want room to grow and follow whatever path our spirit is leading us on.

An unusual approach to life. Not really conforming to the expected way of living, we view the world and our lives as a blank book and we want to write it. I definitely have very philosophical views and it deeply effects all of my relationships. Being with someone who likes that about us is key!

Not-so material world. Possessions and money are nice, but it is not number one for us. Intellectual conversations and meaningful experiences is what takes our breath away…

Intuition. You may hear this a lot from an old soul, “I don’t know, I just have this feeling.” Following our hearts more than our minds makes us a bit more in touch with our intuitive side. You can either go with the flow or turn and run, intuitive people can be a bit intimidating. It can be very daunting to some, to have an intuitive partner…especially if the significant other is trying to be sly. Good luck!

We’ve got dreams, big dreams. Idealistic dreams of painting the world like our very own canvas. Ending world hunger or starting a business that benefits people in some positive way is not far from an old souls list of lofty ideas. Helping mankind is on our dreamy To Do List!

I’m sure a lot of you out there can relate to some of these traits or have come across an old soul yourself. Maybe you’re realizing you are one…what qualities do you have that make you or your partner an Old Soul?