Why I’m Not Hiding Behind My Camera Anymore

I love photography. I love images. I love nature. And I love being outside. I write about my adventures, but hardly ever post any images of myself doing those adventures because I have been hiding behind my camera.

I’m not hiding anymore.

As part of my journey to learn to love myself and who I am, I reconnected with my love for the outdoors 4 years ago. I allowed myself to not believe what most advertisements showed me (that anyone who does outdoorsy activities are super thin, flawless looking people), so I gave it my best shot at finding appropriate clothing to wear at MEC to get myself started with reigniting my passion for being outside. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much luck at MEC so have been wearing my favourite jeans and whatever shirt works for the temperature of the day. I don’t need appropriate clothing anyway, the point is to just enjoy being outside.

Part of learning to love myself is to accept what I look like in pictures. So, I’m going to start taking more photographs of myself and posting them so that I can accept myself completely. I am a beautiful person inside and out. And, I hope to inspire a more authentic representation of the people who love adventure and outdoor activities.

Doing what I love. Being outside and making photographs.I’m not hiding behind my camera anymore.I decided to go back to school for photography because my camera gets me outside!Going after my dream of being a photographer and am in my second year of a 2-year program.

This year I have done the most challenging adventures yet! I did my first-ever 4-day solo canoe trip in Algonquin Park just a couple of days after the ice melted off the lakes. I had rainfall warnings, snow and wind to deal with. But I did it and it was an incredible accomplishment!

Paddling my own canoe. Solo!

In August I did a 320km, 12-day canoe trip in Quetico Provincial Park with my husband and averaged about 26km/day of paddling and portaging (working on a 4-part blog and video series). I have been building my skill level for the past 3 years to do a trip of this magnitude and I can thank my husband for making it all happen. I honestly didn’t know my body was capable of such hard work and by the end of the trip I felt amazing and super strong. When you paddle for 20+km/day, you can really notice it.

Portaging between the Maligne River and Minn Lake in Quetico Provincial Park.

So here I am, a person who is absolutely in love with nature and the feeling it gives me when I am surrounded by it. There is no need to hide behind my camera anymore.

The best things in life are free.Here I am, by myself in Algonquin Park on my first solo canoe trip! What a feeling of accomplishment!

This is beautiful, Cobi! Like you, I’m way more comfortable behind a camera than in front of it. I also struggle to find outdoor clothing that works for my body. I’m slowly embracing the new me – the one who has raised up teenagers and has trouble staying active because of bad knees. I still love the outdoors and am embracing it on my own terms.

Thank you so much for the comment, Tara! It’s hard to come out from hiding, but I know it’s going to feel liberating. There are no rules for who or how we enjoy being outside. We just have to own it. This is me owning it! I’m glad you’re embracing the new you, even it it’s a slow process, at least you’re doing it!

I love this so much! I can relate, it’s so far out of my comfort zone to take pictures of myself, and if I do, all I see are my flaws, what my hair is doing, is my tummy pooching. I have found that others don’t focus on those things, and the point is to show yourself being out there, and be relatable. I loved your series about your solo trip, and I never once thought you were less than beautiful. We need to focus on what our bodies can do and not our perceived flaws. Thanks for being so honest!

Thank you so much for the comment! I think we have to realize that we’re our own worst enemies. And I think you’re right, we’re the only one looking at and drawing attention to what we believe are flaws. I appreciate your comment so much!!

I love this post so much! I’m like you, behind the camera most of the time. I only post “approved” pics of me and I need to get over that. Reading your post made me realize that, so thank you 🙂 By the way, you look beautiful!

I always “approved” photos too, but I have to get over it too. I bought a remote for my camera so that I can take a photograph with myself in it. I can set up the shot and have more control. I hope that will also boost my confidence with making a good composition. There is nothing worse than someone taking a terrible picture of you and you know you don’t really look like that. I appreciate your comment so much Anonymous! 🙂