The last few months have been rather interesting. I learned a lot when I moved us home. The fact that I am still hot enough to make even those who claim not to be insecure and to be secure in their relationships insecure enough to imagine things would be the most startling of realities that I have recently experienced. The last few months are something that require examination as I look back on the events that led to this recent revelation.

My Top Priority

left Arkansas after a number of setbacks. Granted several were self imposed such as waiting for people I knew better than to loan money or allow to use what used to be my good credit to pay me back but not all of them were. I had to have the funds and paying bills that others ran up delayed that time frame. I still am not sure how people that make five times what I do were comfortable trying to live off others but that's life and not everyone has integrity. Now the latest adventures involve more insecure people hiding behind bibles. I was naive to think that I had left them behind in Hell's Hell.

When I moved here I ended up with people who I thought where good, and kind. I made the mistake of thinking they were sincere in their beliefs and words. I was wrong.

I was a built in babysitter and they would volunteer other people's children as well as their own to come up without so much as asking if I minded. It got tiring quickly but I was polite, and never once expressed my belief that they were the laziest, rudest people that I had ever met. I just figured they did not know any better and in time they would learn not to do those things. I was wrong.

There wasn't a problem when I was cleaning up after them, or listening to them complain about their partner but let me need something and the true colors came out brightly. Those who are paranoid and lack self esteem are a bad combination when it comes to friendships. It is always one sided, and someone who hides behind their bible will never remember the part that says you are not supposed to judge others. No this is not about religion but hypocrites.

Recently someone posed the question “Why do people sexualize touch between others that they do not share?” My answer was insecurity. I am not wrong, there are many answers to this question but this one is most often my experience. The most recent was not an exception to this rule. You see no matter how much a woman claims to be secure when her waist is larger than yours and she is sure you are not only more attractive but smarter as well she will find a reason to see things that are not there. It is not something that is new to me, but it wasn't until very recently that a man explained it to me and made me understand that once it starts it will never end.

The fact that that it is something I will have to deal with for a number of years to come is not lost on me so I'll just continue to live my life. A long the way I will remove those who feel the need to have over active imaginations due to their insecurity.

What do you do when people imagine things that are not there? What about when they tell you that you are not good enough? Do you stay or move on ensuring they will not come back for any reason?