Life, Musings, Infidelity, Recovery

The Plot, the reveal, the more!

I have had a couple of ideas with regards to how I should reveal the rest of this plot, and I thought and I wrote and I deleted, but there is no better way as to do it this way… well not for me…

Before you continue – Pardon the language within some sections

Just remember that some of these discussions were simultaneous… and I tried to add as much as possible, but also had to remove some of the details and changed some of the words, and I’m sure some of it got a bit lost in translation, but I know you understand why… o and there might be a bit of my own comments and thoughts in brackets.

Continuing from so I lost the plot, Yeah I did, want to take a guess what I did?

I messaged her… Yes I did… I Messaged Lady 2 and here is how it went down…

13:06 – Me: I just want to tell you I know. I know you fucked my husband! It is out

13:08 – Lady: 2: I can’t believe that you would think that, I would never do something like that to you

13:09 – Me: I look like an idiot but believe me I am not, he also confirmed it, he confessed it to me, are you saying he is lying?

13:12 – Lady 2: He is talking shit (well that is a nicer word than what was used but lost in translation)

13:14 – Me: Whatever, I even has the hotel booking sheet, and confirmed the date ( I couldn’t believe it was so easy to get these kind of things if you apply your mind to it) He confirmed that it happened on his birthday, and I even have photos of your boobs (the books is not necessarily taken that day but I just had to throw it in there). I also found the photo of your underwear which he sent to you (now the underwear is the same I found in his pocket, but then he took a pouting photo with the underwear which he sent to her – did I say not a clear cookie). I also have messages where you told him you loved him; I have it all so stop lying (and Yes everything about this whole thing says she will still lie). I must be honest, I don’t know the details for your husband but don’t you think he should know (Yes the bitter, sad, broken me is talking here right now)

13:15 – Lady 2: Let him tell you with whom he has been in a relationship with for 2 year (and later on it becomes 3. Anyway she was confused how long, but its 3)

13:15 – Me: You (and here I know it is not just her, but hey just for the hell of it)

13:15 – Lady 2: Not at all (Oh no he just buy you stuff and sleep with you in hotels)

13:15 – Me: well if he is lying about it, it will cost you your marriage (Just letting you know, laughing at myself)

13:19 – Lady 2: I know the both of you for so long, why would it happen now? (Yes that is true, so why the fuck don’t you tell me why now, because he sure as hell aren’t)

13:21 – Me: Look he says it is you, he says he slept with you, so why lie

Then she tells me that everyone needs to meet because my husband would need to say this in front of her and her husband… interesting right… I wonder what she wanted from this anyway. Maybe she wanted my husband to panel beat hers, who knows, maybe she wanted him locked up, lol who knows… She also then tells me that she is no home wrecker, Oh Lady 2 whatever… I mean really, you’re not a home wrecker, so what about your own family, and what about your own 2 kids or do they not exist in your little dream world… I told her that I know they have been messaging one another every night about the whole night, I kept on telling her that he says they slept together on his birthday and that the hotel booking even confirmed this, but she kept denying it. Shame someone would do this, and then not have the backbone to confess when all the details are even confirmed. Did she realise how stupid she looked and does she realise that in my eyes she still looks stupid. I mean really, I have everything confirmed and proof of but you still deny… how stupid. I even told her to stop and think, think what you’re saying especially after I have told you what I know and have, but she kept going…

But then

13:24 – Lady 2: Do you know that Lady 1 has been sleeping with your husband for 3 year (On boy, and you just had to throw her under the bus didn’t you, I like it) Are you aware that everyone here at the company knows about it and they have been caught before in the offices, do you know they have been called in before however not one of them wanted to acknowledge the relationship and both denied it (do they?)

13:25 – Me: I don’t understand, why would he say it is you then? (Oh yes I was slow here – It took me a while to realize that she has thrown another lady under the bus to save her own skin)

Then she go on telling me that she needs to find time to discuss this with him, she doesn’t know why he would say it is her, I told her that the photos proofs otherwise, the photos shows her, photos of her breasts, and others… (I’m leaving those to the imagination) So again I said to her that I can’t believe that you would say it is her and impact her marriage like that if it wasn’t true, and again she told me that she doesn’t understand why he would do this to her and her marriage, but 2 seconds after the next message she came back telling me she talked to him, and that he is saying that he never confessed… Oh boy, Oh boy… and you will see a bit later the conversation between us

She goes ahead answering me on stuff I asked, so about her underwear, she comes out and tell me that it couldn’t be hers, because she doesn’t wear garments made for ladies, she wear men briefs, and I then sent her a whole bunch of the photo proof I had, to think that even with all that I sent her where you can clearly identify things she still denies everything (am I slow here) and of cause, she blames him then, she says that he is a real dick for saying that they slept together and she asked me if it would be okay for her to call me… (What, did I read that right??? What are you thinking? You want to call me, are you even more stupid) I just kept sending more and more proof until I ended it with Need I say more

Anyway… this conversation continued the next day, and I will come back to it, but here is the conversation between me and hubby

For some reason, during the conversation with Lady 2 (and I am saying for some reason because I didn’t diaries why…) he called

14:21 – Me: Why are you calling me, I have tried to talk about this shit and you never wanted to

14:23 – Me: Do you know Lady 2 told me about your affair, shame on you, both married. How do you think both their husbands will feel, did you even think of the kids

14:45 – Him: When you feel like talking call

15:04 – Me: Lady 1 and Lady 2 really, fuck man really? WHY???

15:15 – Me: You go for every female at work, 3 years ago to the beginning of this year Lady 1. And now lady 2, I am done, I am over it, you lie, and lie, lie, and how many married ladies do you want to fuck? Don’t you have any respect for any marriage and then above it all you make me the liar, you told me that you are in a relationship with Lady 2 and then you turn around and tell her that I am lying, decide how you want to lie and to who you want to lie, you’re sick

And then the whole emotional game starts, He tells me that I have been sending messages to everyone (and here he is only referring to lady 2, but she becomes everyone) and that their HR and their big boss called him in, that I will be costing his job, that I now managed to get that right, I sent him a message back saying that I am not sending anything to anyone except to the one who wouldn’t go rat on them because she is as guilty and this is the response

15:39 – Him: Get out of my life, Fuck out of my life; I am done with you, just get out

15:39 – Me: So you fuck around and then blame me, right then

15:40 – Him: Everyone knows now

15:39 – Me: Who told them?

15:39 – Him: Just leave me alone

15:41 – Him: Sell everything; let me go, just do what you want I am tired

This is how Lady 2 Named and Shamed Lady 1 …

The next day

So the messages between me and my husband were far and few

Basically it started with him calling me and screaming and shouting because one of his ladies received something that he wasn’t happy about, some email that was sent, but this email was sent from an created account which was so easy to deceiver because all the details contained in the message, Lady 2 sent this to the husband of Lady 1, telling her husband he needs to think back…

So after the screaming on the call I sent him this:

Today I want to tell you only 1 thing, People who doesn’t know what a marriage should be and that now suddenly stress about their marriage, you make me sick. You blame everyone but will never take your own blame. I am tired, and through all the emails and turmoil I stood behind you and I just kept on asking that you tell me the truth so I rather hear it from you than from a stranger, but as always I was the last to know, I pulled the shortest straw, I will always be the one person who will be treated like a doormat, I am sorry, I am done playing these games, it was nice for all of you but now this is your fucking problem. Don’t call me about anything that has to do with you and their situation. I am no longer prepared to help.

It was such an emotional morning for me, and during the initial phone call I even threatened to commit suicide, I have seriously just reached my limits. I just couldn’t anymore, and the more I thought that I would be able to move on from the one thing to a better place, the more information just came out that pulled me down under. Through this all he was more concerned about who was behind the emails than to actually safe which could be. He just wanted to find out who was sending all the proof, who was sending emails and he wanted this person to take responsibility and get the person exposed, nowhere did he actually care about what this person was actually revealing, until it was too late. I told him on 29 August to be exact – that through this all he could even be honest and open with me, and even though he saw that the truth was leaking out bit by bit, he still didn’t open up, that it would have been a bit more easier to hear the truth from him and not through some stranger. I told him that I don’t understand why it even matters anymore who is sitting behind the emails because now it is all out; all that is still needed is for the entire story to be told so that everyone can get it over and done with. That their husbands will feel eventually what I have felt and that they will suffer the consequences of the actions of their own wifes as I have for my husband. That morning he told me that he wanted to work on our marriage and shortly after that he didn’t want to work on our marriage, and I still said to him that I just don’t understand him anymore.

That night I told him that I feel sorry for him, that based on the conversations I had with Lady 2 it is very clear that she will not admit anything, but that I feel that what she is doing to say such bad things about him, and the way she says it that I feel sorry for him, I know that he may thought that she was a stronger person, and maybe she told him that she will stand behind him, but the total opposite happened, and I could see that when I told him this it did hurt him, he asked me that if I had to speak to her again, if I would ask her something: I said I will see, he said: Please tell her that even through all this and you that have badmouthed her, I always defended her, ask her why she is the one that say all of these bad things about me, why is she badmouthing me?

And the messages between me and Lady 2 continued…

I started off just asking if we can continue the conversation from the previous day to which she responded that it would be no problem to talk (I’m guessing she did this as she still believe that she got away) Anyway… So I asked her that we needed to go back to the conversation of the previous day. I asked questions about when he saw Lady one – she didn’t know (but I know, they saw one another only one weekends when both were working) she told me that my husband declared his love for Lady 1 and that there are others that can confirm, because my husband apparently declared it to them, she told me about situations that happened and that they were called in and that the record were set straight, she told me that Lady 1 became more bossy and confident during this time and and and, so I replied, so it is all hearsay right? (Yes I believed it by now – I just wanted to test the water)

08:39 – Lady 2: I take it he didn’t confirm that he had a relationship with Lady 1 not me right?

08:39 – Lady 2: But he is talking shit about me, That is not true the liar

08:39 – Me: He did say he had a relationship with her but it’s over long ago

08:40 – Lady 2: he is busy now; as soon as he is done I’m going to tell him to confirm this with you

08:40 – Me: And again I ask you why would he do this to you if it is not true

So she went on about she sent him a little heart message (that’s the message that was on the spycam) and that it was inappropriate, she even told her husband that. She just wanted to thank him for some work he did. So again I mention then how did her boobs appear on his phone, and she asked me why I would even think it is hers and when I told her that he told me she kept on telling me that she can’t wait to hear what he has to say about these lies, she works specific hours to accommodate for travelling to pick up her children she even gave me the times. Over and above the boobs photos, there were also photos of herself (face photos – so come on am I so stupid, really) S

So she tells me

08:48 – Lady 2: I never leave the house without my husband and my children. Never (Oh Come on, we all leave the house sometime without our kids or husbands, so saying never oh come on, just really)

08:48 – Lady 2: My day is just too busy to meet at places, I don’t have time for that, and I will talk to him (Yes, run quick, run because guess what he is not going to defend you)

08:49 – Lady 2: I do not have time to drive around and meet up, so why do you say that (you don’t have the time, but you constantly went for lunch, you met him for lunch all over and even lied to your employer as to where you were, but right you don’t have time)

08:50 – Me: Maybe because with you it only happened 1 time yet (or shall I say 1 time he told me about, and she still denies)

08:51 – Lady 2: I am not that type of girl you know (Sorry but I have to snort laugh here)

08:51 – Me: Maybe because with you it only happened 1 time yet. Do you know I have proof of the Hotel? Why if you were in a relationship don’t you admit it to me?

08:55 – Lady 2: Because I am not in a relationship with your husband (Maybe just sleeping right)

08:55 – Me: So you want to tell me you just jumped in bed with him

08:55 – Lady 2: Is that what he says? (he says a lot, and you to but both lies)

08:56 – Me: Oh Yes honey, he says that and I even have the proof of the Hotel (I gave her the name of the hotel that was booked to show her I know, but oh boy)

08:56 – Lady 2: I really don’t know what to tell you anymore you will not believe me anyway

08:57 – Me: Be Honest

So here I decided that I will do my husband the favor so I can get him the details he asked for:

09:29 – Me: Why would he say he slept with you if that is not true

09:29 – Lady 2: Because he is the biggest Dick under the sun, he destroyed my entire marriage. Because of him my marriage is fucked (So she still don’t see that it is because of him and her, why does she just blame him, I don’t understand her logic)

09:32 – Me: but now you can have him right? So why not take him?

09:32 – Lady 2: Not even if you pay me, he is not my type; I will not give up my family for him or anything

09:33 – Me: Wait – He is not your type??

09:33 – Lady 2: I am not attracted to a man of a different race than me, we have cultural differences and I am not interested. I will not give up my family.

And then she kept on telling me that she would never give up her family, he kids are fair and that it is not necessarily the skin color but there is definitely cultural differences, I asked her then:

09:35 – Me: So if you were or are in a relationship, why would you talk about him this way

09:50 – Lady 2: Because he is definitely not the man I though he was, he showed me that is is different to what he said he is (Oh come on really, do you think people say everything you don’t even but you expect that from others). The things he is doing right now makes me say that (Yes and what is he saying, for once he is owning up and telling the truth and now he is such a bad person). He walks around here at work looking like a sick puppy all sad as if someone stole his food (I can imagine this actually, I do think that this is because he thought you would stand behind him and he got a real wake up call.)

But …she ended the conversation telling me that she will not be blocking me on her phone and the chat applications but she will no longer talk to me (as if I care, you don’t come clean, you think I am stupid and I just had enough anyway). She tells me that she hopes I find peace, and that even if I send something she will no longer respond. (How is anyone suppose to find peace, find peach with your lies? Find peace with what? Will you find peace knowing I know and that I can talk anytime?) To which I ended telling her that she can block me if she wants, I have nothing more to lose, that I have enough proof and that she doesn’t have to validate anything, and the fact that she questions my intelligence by not admitting even when I shared so much with her that she could see was valid, she still lied. I told her that I told him that sooner or later I will be ready to share this with maybe their spouses. Maybe one day I will, maybe not, but let me tell you something, I would have been better if they hear it from their own partners. (thinking back I could have dealt with some stuff differently, I could have treated things differently, I could have not threatened her with telling her husband, but honestly i just felt, and I still feel like Karma didn’t get tot hem yet)

Look I must be honest, this wasn’t easy at all for me, and the days leading up to this and after this wasn’t either, but the more I read this, I realize that life goes on, not just for them but for me as well. I feel sorry for their families because I don’t think that they thought about any of the consequences to their marriages and kids before allowing this, but it is their problem now. It is also their problem as to how they will tell their husbands, and should it ever come out, may their husbands not feel the same pain as what I did, may they be more open and honest then.

He had to give the attorney an answer the end of this month, he didn’t, he also never spoke to me about anything he thought about or what he felt, the only things that kept on happening is that more and more of the crap leaked out and they never thought it would..

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2 thoughts on “The Plot, the reveal, the more!”

I can’t believe all the lies…..oh hang on…yes I can….they are all liars and driving you crazy. Not sure why you call them ladies either….lol….you are being too polite.
I am sorry you are here writing about this. It is mostly a safe place here in blogland as there are many betrayed spouses here trying to make sense of something we may never understand.
Again…sorry you are here . Xx

I would never have thought that so many people go through this, and I have to admit, it helps talking about it even if it is just here in blogland
I think I am trying to be polite, it is definitely not how I feel inside but I think the more I react politely the more my anger subside a bit, because believe me when I tell you I haven’t been calling them ladies all along