Faithful Followers

Saturday, September 29, 2007

My kids don't always have the best ideas. Or sometimes they have good ideas, but the execution of their ideas leaves something to be desired. I made a list of a few examples in an attempt to show my older kids just how their best laid plans, sometimes don't work out so well. Please, feel free to use this as a teaching tool with your own children.

Good idea - making up games to play with younger siblingsBad idea - taking off every couch cushion and dragging out every blanket in order to play gameReally bad idea - tying blankets to and stacking cushions by the front door, prohibiting anyone from entering your house

Good idea - writing and illustrating a book to read to siblingsBad idea - soaking pages of book in pickle juice to give it an "aged" lookReally bad idea - putting the pages in the microwave to dry (this is a really, REALLY bad idea)

Good idea - helping mom by sweeping up the dirt mess you made on the kitchen floorBad idea - sweeping dirt under the rug while mom is watchingReally bad idea - lying to mom and telling her that you didn't just sweep the dirt under the rug

Good idea - making a little snack for you and your siblingsBad idea - making homemade caramel without a recipeReally bad idea - burning brown sugar and butter until the smoke alarms go off and then abandoning mess, leaving it for mom to clean up

Good idea - playing ballBad idea - in the houseReally bad idea - using glue to try to fix the vase you broke (ok, so I stole that one from the Brady Bunch)

After I made my bed this morning, my little boy came in my room, jumped on my bed and proceeded to roll himself up in my comforter. Errrr! Clayton! Look what you did to my bed! I just made it! Come out from there now! A little voice, muffled from the confines of the comforter, said, "But I can't come out. I'm not a butterfly yet." A few seconds later, he emerged from the wrappings of my comforter and "flew" off my bed, wings arms flapping.

I was typing away on my computer this evening when my son walked into my room and said, "Mom, do you have any medicine for overgrown toes?"I continue typing, not really paying attention. Several seconds pass until what he's asked, finally clicks in my head."Overgrown toes???" I look down at his feet. Sure enough, he has an "overgrown" toe, the product of a baseball stuffed into the end of his sock. I burst out laughing.I love when they do something goofy like that out of nowhere.

65 comments:

Dawn,We watched Harry Potter today too! The goblet of fire!!! We love those movies...I'm glad that you let your kids watch it, I get a lot of flack from my friends for letting my little ones watch it. They think it's too scary. Oh well.Thanks for the fun post!!! Have a good night!!

Oops, and a question: how on earth do you have time to do everything you do!??!!? I am AMAZED!! Harry Potter, photography, cooking! Cleaning blue off kids faces, burying hermit crabs, writing this blog, WRITING A BOOK!?, flying to NYC???? I am in awe, and just a little bit wishing my life was yours (but with half as many kids--I can only handle my three!)

I love the ideas you've suggested. If this list works let us know and I'll suggest some things for my kids on a similar note. And I'm glad mine aren't the only ones who remove couch cushions. If only they'd vacuum out the cereal while they're off I wouldn't mind so much.

OK .. so blogger was still doing that wierd TOS Violation thing tonight. Was wondering what the heck you did beside exceed 1 miilion hits .... hmmmm (picture Dr. Evil here). Enjoy NY for the day. Maybe we can all get ABC to do a family special with you all and treat you to a week at Disney! Man, that would be cool.

Hold on tight to that baseball moment.... its worth its weight in gold.

Trust me, you will need it to get through his senior year in high school. I'm currently waiting on mine to get home from Homecoming... so I can decide between grounding him (yet again) and just choking him this time.

I'll go with grounding (yet again) I'm sure, but every woman has to have a fantasy life. ;)

Thanks for making me laugh! I just love hearing that these things don't only happen to me. I do have to tell you that your blog gave me nightmares. Was I the only one that thought scorpions were crawling all over me? I've lived here 10 years and I've never seen one! May God continue to bless you and give you patience and rest you need with all this attention you've been receiving.

I was going to comment on each entry, because I was out of town and got behind on reading your blog, but I don't have time for that. I was gone one night and I have to clean up after the festival the family must have had during my absence.

I digress... I love the pickle juice to age a book. I think that I will have to try that at school to see if I can age our class constitution.

I wanted to thank you for your words of wisdom about forgiving your enemies. I needed to hear that this week. It reminded me of how I need to deal with people that drive you crazy.

Your gang sound like they are a very imaginative bunch, with a wonderful, collective great sense of humor...which can only mean they must have terrific parents. You guys are doing a great job...and we sure love hearing all your stories! It is a bit like a sitcom, only waaaay more funny!Keep it up, and God Bless You!

The overgrown toe story is hilarious, but the butterfly story melted my heart. What a sweet sweet boy with a lovely imagination. You're definitely doing something right by these kids of yours, Dawn. Keep up the good work! And thanks for sharing. It's refreshing to read other real life mommy tales!

i love this post one of my faves, my siblings and I always did silly things.How cute is your little en, don't you love the innocence of how a child can you make you laugh.Horray for kidskaraxand great parents

Hi Dawn,Thanks so much for reminding us all of the power of forgiveness. In my busy life of hubby, 6 kids, Watoto fundraiser, Sunday school teacher, refugee volanteer, and much more, I too have to choose to forgive! ( If not I'm sure ,no, certain I would be in the loony bin!).Hay, we could do with seeing you on one of our T.V programs down here in Australia. I think its just the medicine alot of women need!God Bless!Luv Clairebcboucher@dcsi.net.au

Hey I can relate to the bed making thing. My just turned 4 year old daughter does this to me regularly. This makes me nuts but not as nuts as spending the entire morning after I send the other 3 to school to clean the house and they come home and it looks like I've done absolutely nothing all day. Of course my husband comes home after them so this is all he ever sees. He told me one day he's gonna come home early just to see the house clean..I'm recalling your earlier post about never having a clean house...My little doll pretends she's a puppy and IN CHURCH nonetheless. She tries to crawl on the floor and bark..what these people must think of me!! I guess a flying butterfly isn't so bad, at least butterflies are quiet. LOL!!!

Hi Dawn, do you know there are still problems reading your blog, or rather getting into the blog? I managed, somehow, but I think some of your readers may get lost, because it's become really difficult (still/again that stupid TOS thing). Anyway, I managed, and I'm happy to be able to read your blog again. In these last few weeks, I've become sort of dependant...:-)Love, Kristina (Sweden)

Your writing just absolutely cracks me up! My kids are all grown up (so they think) now and I have been blessed with grandchildren! Just let me say that I liken your writing to that of Erma Bombeck (God rest her soul). Her writing was awesome as is yours! Thanks for the laughs and the recollection of memories!!!

Day after day, you crack me up! My four are teens and twenty-somethings, but, oh, do you bring back the memories....we used to take off the couch cushions, stack them up just the other side of one end of the l-shaped couch, start running at the other end, swan dive off the end with the cushions, and then do it all again. (The kids did this, not me)

Or, we would just make a very large tent with sheets, using the coffee table (as the roof), and cushions as the walls. This provided hours of entertainment, however, bad idea when the inlaws would pop in to see the grandkids... oh, well, it was fun!

We have at least a dozen popsicle stick crosses in the backyard as a result of all of the hamster funerals. I think having them has helped my kids deal a little easier with the whole process when it comes to human funerals. I would have the kids write a goodbye letter to the hamster and we would put it in the coffin (made from those boxes that your bank checks come in) before lowering same into the ground. The sobbing, hugging and blowing of noses were all part of it, and by the end of the day, life was almost normal again.

Thank you for writing. As one other comment stated, you are an inspiration to so many of us.

I'm new to reading your blogs but I must say...You Girl are absolutely hilarious!! And you make the rest of us with nutty households seem a little bit normal. I've only got 2 kids but at times it feels like 12. I don't know how you do it...actually, yes I do...with humor! Thanks!

Thank you so much for your Blog and your honestness about being a mom! I have been very tired dealing with my 2.5 and 1 year olds :) Its great to see another mom with kids that get into things and Its been great to get in a much needed smile from readding your blog :)

oh I told my hubby about the site lucking up and he said with so many people looking at your site you have probibly gone over your bandwith for the month. Just something to look into :P

Hey Dawn,I got this email a couple days ago, and thought you might like it,and all the others who read your comments cause you know, we never get any laughs at your blog:)The reports are out:

Number One Idiot of 2006>I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.>> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>> Number Two Idiot of 2006>> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to> steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in> getting it out of the plane and home.> Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a> Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.> It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator> beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer> employed at Boeing.>> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> Number Three Idiot of 2006>>> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the> Branch and wrote "this. Put all your muny in this bag."> While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he> began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.>> So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells> Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to > the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. >> He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at > Bank of America.>> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it> anyway.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> Number Four Idiot of 2006>>> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that> measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later> received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead> of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.> Several days later, he received a letter from the police that> contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.> He immediately mailed in his $40.>>> Wise guy........ but you still get a sign> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>> Number Five Idiot of 2006>>> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded> all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash> in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the> counter on the shelf.> He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier> refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."> The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him> because she didn't believe him.> At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet> and gave it to the clerk.> The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21> and she put the Scotch in the bag.> The robber then ran from the store with his loot.> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address> of the robber that he got off the license.> They arrested the robber two hours later.>> This guy definitely needs a sign.> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>> Idiot Number Six of 2006>>> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving> revolvers.> The first one shouted, "Nobody move!">> When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.>> This guy doesn't even deserve a sign>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> Idiot Number Seven of 2006>> >> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided> that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,> grab some booze, and run.> So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the> window.> The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the > liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.> The whole event was caught on videotape.>>> Yep, Here's your sign> (Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>> IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:> I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the> local township administrative office to request the removal of the> Deer Crossing sign on our road.> The reason:> "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.">>> From Kingman , KS>______________________________________________________> IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:>>> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked> the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was> sorry, but they only had iceberg.> He was a Chef?>>> Yep...From Kansas City !> ______________________________________________> IDIOT SIGHTING:>>> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,! "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?> To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I> know?"> He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask.">>> Happened in Birmingham , Ala.>_______________________________________________________> IDIOT SIGHTING:>>> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.> She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.> I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.> Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing> driving?!">> >> She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS> ___________________________________________________> IDIOT SIGHTING :>>> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.> She was leaving the company due to" downsizing."> Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We> should do this more often."> Not another word was spoken.> We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.>>> This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.> ________________________________________> IDIOT SIGHTING:>>> I work with an individual who plugged her power> strip back into itself and for the sake of her own> life, couldn't understand why her system would not> turn on.>>> A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no> less.>> ____________________________________________________> IDIOT SIGHTING:>>> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile> dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys> had been locked in it. We went to the servic> department and found a mechanic working feverishly> to unlock the car, we were told the keys had been> locked in it. We went to the service department and> found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the> drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger> side, I instinctively tried the door handle and> discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced> to the technician, "its open!"> His reply, "I know - I already got that side.">>> This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton ,> Mississippi !>_______________________________________________________>> STAY ALERT!> They walk among us and they REPRODUCE ...!!!

By the way sweetie here's a link to a "When to call the doctor" article... Thought you might find it useful, and save you those $20 next time!!" LOL!! ( http://www.parenthood.com/articles.html?article_id=4950 )I absolutely LOOOOVE you!!!

Do you ever get sleep? Girl you are busy!! I started a day job outside the house this past week and let me say WOW there is very little time to sit back and do nothing. I can only imagine how busy you must be. I hope the book is coming along well.

I have worked on making scrapbook gifts to sell on my website all weekend. These days my days are filled working so the weekend is it for scrapbooking. If you have anyone needing a gift for someone special send them to my blog to see my latest album and from there they can find my site.Have a great week!Stacey

I swear earlier today when I tried to view your post I received an error and was unable to do so until now. W-E-I-R-D! But I'm glad I can view it now b/c I love this list! I know I may not be saying this later when my son, and any other child(ren) we may have, does things but I can't wait to experience these things myself and have something funny to tell other people:)

Dawn, you seem to have a VERY SERIOUS problem with that TOS issue! i notice you've only got about 50,000 additional "reads" since like last week (wednesday) when you hit a million!!! methinks it should be more like about 100,000 a day??? You might have to inquire or something, the one time i had to hit refresh a lot of times before it finally came up! I really hate to have to be the one to tell you that there is something wrong, here. I personally use Greatest Journal, You Tube, Myspace and know nothing at all about the TOS for blogspot, very sorry. it seems like they will usually let you know what is wrong, though, try e-mailing them to let them know anyways. Otherwise, i would just like to wish you All The Best with your works!!! You might try a "videoblog" entry sometime, too!!!

Good idea, picking flowers for mom.Bad idea, adding some tree branches.Really bad idea, bringing tree branch and flower bouquet into the house where some ants, and other various insects decided the inside of my house was better then outside.

Good idea, play with little brother (9months old).Bad idea, thinking he looks like he is ready to walk.Really bad idea,rolling him on the floor like a barrell (I kid you not!).Funny part, the little guy didn't even udder a whimper, but thought it was the most fun which is why mom didn't notice until daughter is rolling baby brother into the kitchen!

thats so funny about the butterfly!! my daughter 3 1/2 years does the same thing she gets any blanket and says she is going to crack into a butterfly and then she flaps her wings away.they are so cute!!April

To Julie: cold black tea can also be used to age paper, and for a more authentic look you can also dry the paper in a very low temperature oven until you can crumble the edges a bit, but it's tricky, sometimes the whole page will crumble to nothing or it will just burn. Another method is to hold the corners and edges very briefly over a flame and put it out immediately it catches. Be careful not to let your kids see this because to them it looks like fun and you may lose homework sheets etc. this way, not to mention the burnt fingers on the five year old......(he's 30 now)

NO! It is not true! Taking all the couch cushions off the couch for a game, especially one involving blankets is NOT a bad idea! Not at all! My mother said the same thing, but all four of her children have grown up and not committed murder and three of them have jobs (the fourth doesn't, but she's the baby and never thought to take the cushions off the couches with which to create). Come on, people...be a little realistic. If you don't want your kids using your furniture as toys, you shouldn't be buying furniture in the first place. Simple as that.

Seriously, though, some other things you might want to keep an eye out for:It's wise to not let big brother pin little sister and drop Tabasco sauce into her eye.It's wise, during the period in school when kids learn about Native Americans and their food habits, to explain that draping bacon from willow tree branches is not going to produce jerky. And even it it does produce jerky, it is probably not safe to eat.It is wise to not even have stairs in the house ever, but if there are stairs, it is wise to make sure they are not used for games involving pulling siblings by their legs from the top to the bottom in the dark.

I just thought you might want a heads up on some other good ideas children sometimes have.