Prince Harry is “thrilled” that his brother, Prince William, is about to be a dad, which is lovely and hearts and flowers and everything, but really just serves as a reminder that Harry’s got even less of a claim to the throne than he did before. Woo hoo, let’s all party naked in Vegas again, et cetera. (J/K, j/k… Harry says he’s still very sorry that his ginger balls brought shame to the royal family.)

—

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth went on vacation to Costa Rica just so they could recreate the movie poster from their favourite Nicolas Sparks movie. (Not the Last Song. That would be too obvious. This one.)

—

Just like you, Justin Bieber plays basketball at the YMCA. (He just rents the place out before he gets there.)

—

James Franco would like you to know that he was not “trying to diss” Justin Bieber, he just likes making lip-dubs of Boyfriend, OK, and he had a perfectly good wig lying around so huh.

P.S. James Franco would also like you to read the poem he wrote in honour of Barack Obama’s inauguration. Bieber is not mentioned. That is not believed to be a diss, either.

—

Oh yeah, the presidential inauguration. You know, that thing that was the only thing out of all the things that mattered yesterday in America. Here’s what Beyonce sounded like when she sang the U.S. national anthem. And here’s how she did during the soundcheck.