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One of the main factors of having and keeping a good relationship is being able to trust, and have good communication. In order for others to trust us, we have to be able to become vulnerable, and show our vulnerability. Honesty and vulnerability go hand in hand. You cannot be totally, and genuinely truthful with another, without opening up fully to them.[...]

We are conceived through a connection, of the deepest kind, between a man and a woman, and from the moment that we are conceived, we are connected to our Mother in her womb. When that physical connection we began with is separated at birth, we spend our lives desiring to be connected again. How we go about, and how well we succeed, at re-creating that connection…becomes the story of our lives.[...]

I was raised in a family of givers, and caretakers, and the old fashion way, where the women wait on the men, and take care of the home, but in the world of relationships, that tenancy and upbringing, if taken too far, can get me into a whole lot of trouble with men, and ultimately be the downfall of any relationship. There is a fine line between caring for someone and allowing yourself to be a “puppet on a string”.
When you spend all of your time trying to please another person, at your own expense; they will see you as weak, possessive and clingy.[...]

I was reading an article by Zara Stevens, and it hit on something that has been on my mind a lot these past few years.
"You no longer make me happy anymore."
I heard this statement a lot at the end of my last relationship; that had started out with the most profound happiness that I could ever imagine. Both of us were filled with dreams that we were working to create together, along with supporting each other's individual dreams.
But then there came that "crack", as Zara put it.
I think that so many times part of the problem lies in the fact; that we meet someone, and they begin to bring so very much happiness into our lives, that each of you creates this perfect picture in your mind, about what a wonderful,[...]

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Even though we can count our true friends, and not acquaintances, on one hand, they are our backbones. Friendships are the rocks of our lives. When we choose to enter into an intimate relationship with the opposite sex, they are someone that we believe without a shadow of a doubt is someone that we can truly consider as a friend…our best friend. Or at least it should be.

Amongst all the millions of people in the world, and the thousands upon thousands that we meet in our lifetimes, we trust our friends with our soul, over and above all others…those few, those less than a handful. We have consciously, or unconsciously, simultaneously, chose that special handful, to trust with our inner most fears and insecurities, or at least some of them. To let them genuinely know us, more than anyone else. We trust them to guard and protect that knowledge. We trust them to accept us, to acknowledge us, to protect us, from all those millions of others.

When we take that a step further, and let our guard down enough to become intimate, that is the ultimate of complements…the ultimate in trust. We choose, to attempt to put our fears aside, and let them in, and to see a glimpse of what lies within our soul…our heart…the inner depths of our minds. When we find that person, if we ever feel that we have ever found that person, we feel it in every cell, our heart, our mind, our soul, our entire being. In every single ounce of energy that creates who we are…our sole existence on this earth, in this time, in this place. It consumes us. It envelops us. It takes complete control of us. It is the most glorifying, cherished, feeling, hope and dream, of our entire existence.

When we feel that trust has been betrayed and is shattered, we feel like our life, our soul, our life force, our energy, has been shattered into an explosion that makes the atom bomb appear to be only an itty bitty smoke bomb.

And all the anger that we carry within ourselves, for ourselves, because we feel that we have let ourselves down, by letting our guard down, and trusting, for selling our souls, for giving away a glimpse of our souls, we throw that anger and fear out to the other person…because we let ourselves down.

So we go in search of a release, from this bomb that is building and smoldering within us, and we go out, and lash out, as a way of trying to release in bits and pieces the turmoil festering within us. We hurt them, we hurt us. We hurt.

And just as there is darkness as opposed to the light, all those glorious feelings that grew and grew and consumed your ever existence, when that New York Minute strikes, light a flash of lightning that takes you down in an instant…those dark feelings, thoughts, existence…takes you over as the equal, and just as powerful opposite.

In a New York Minute…everything can change. Our choices have consequences.

All the fireworks, the sunsets exploding in the sky of joy and rejoice…in a New York Minute…can change into a sky with no stars…a sky with no moon…a heart with no light.

What a wonderful and insightful post. It went very deep and "hit home" with me. I looked forward to reading blog when you have a new post. You have a genuine gift and I hope I can obtain half the talent as yourself.

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Come join me on my quest to self discovery, discovering how and where I went wrong, and the healing process on my road to fulfilling my destiny. You might come to discover a bit about you, through me.
We are all here on this Earth to teach each other about ourselves.
See the post Did You Know? to see all those little things that bring "simple" joy to my life.