Apr 29, 2011

AiNi.. faking her own feeling..

It's been forever since I update my blog .. huhu ...Currently .. in my Facebook life ... Everyone is extremely busy ... *that is what I felt* I dun want to disturb them again by being so childish ...Even I miss some of them ... so bad ....I tried to keep it low ...I tried to hide it ... They just busy ... So my current status at FACEBOOK *as for now* ..mostly about my LIFE ...my life as NOOR HIDAYAH ...my life as AiNi ...not my life as AiNi Aiden ... not my life as aini_aiden ...

I will go with my LIFE as Noor Hidayah ~Basically ... I guess everyone knows that ...Noor Hidayah is for my office use ...For short .. they will called me .. "Dayah".. or "Kak Yah".."Dayah" for Kak Linda, Kak Ain, Kak Amal, Boss & En Haidzar ..."Kak Yah" for .. Abg Shairul, Abg Ubai, Abg Madi & Abg Wan .. =__=*They said.. it's more friendlier* ... Yeah .. I guess sooooooooOoo.. So my office life .. where I tend to called it ..."My Office Family".... I'm close with everyone .. *I think so* ..Cuz I treated everyone equally .. based on how they treats me ...I treats Kak Linda, Kak Ain & Kak Amal like my own sisters ...Since I'm the youngest one.. I tend to act normally ...Just being myself .. Talk a LOT ... Laughing Out Loud ...Goofing around them ... Its so fun ! ><

Lately ... eh.. wait.. not lately ... but ...Hurm.. suddenly .. I felt something different now ...Since that *bitch* gone .. (You know who the *bitch* was aite) ...Kak Ain, Abg Shairul and En Zaid .. *Our company's agent* ...acted so different with me ... Kak Ain seems she "have to" be friend with me !I seriously can feel the "poker face" she plays ...Now I know many of her lies ...Like Allah wanna show me the "different" side of her ...I meant like ..I have to list all to get you guys understand what I trying to say ?...well.. got many ... laaa .... hurm.. I will listed several of them laa eh ~She said .. She didn't contact that bitch again ...I know ... that ...She did contact with her ...How I know ?...I hacked her phone and FACEBOOK.. She said ...She forgave me ...I feel like ...she still didn't forgive me ...How I know ?...Cuz she yelled at me last two days ...*Now... she often yell at me even I didn't make any mistake*She said ...She busy helping her dad recovery .. *Her dad got stroke*I found out that ...She busy doing other things ...How I know ?....She got phone call in front of me ...That person ordered tons of chocolate ! ><..... she got "poker face" right ??...She said.. Her mom doesn't like her to be late ...I knew ...That .. she going out with Yus one day ...I still remember when ...The day when Super Junior's concert ..The day when I cried the most ...The day I can't control my tears ...Kak Linda asking me out ...She thought it going to cheer me up a bit ...She asking me and Kak Ain ...Since Kak Linda with Abg Wan *Her hubby* So I took Kak Ain's car ...Suddenly.. Kak Ain told me ..She can't go ...Did she knows how my feeling was ??...I'm not being a spoil brat ...but ...I was sad at that time ! So I kept quiet ...She asked whether I'm mad with her ...I just shake my head ..like a "No" sign ...I still can't forget it till now .....I'm sorry ...but it's just too painful to erase it ...Just now ..I knew something again ...She doesn't like me being too close with Kak Linda..She said .. Kak Linda was my best friend now ...I'm like .. "Hey! who start it first ??!.." I knew something ...She likes to hang out with En Zaid & Abg Shairul more now ..I didn't thought she was this kind of person ...Who likes guys better than girls ...As a girl ..I prefer to be close with other girls than a guy ...It's would be so much different between me and her now...Now.. my feeling toward her totally way different from Kak Linda & Kak Amal..I hate to see her smile like I hate to see Yus's smile ...I hate everything about her now ...Now ...I'm trying to un-friend with her ...I'm trying to ignore everything about her ...I'm trying to act cool ...Even my heart is bleeding ...Even I'm crying again for her ...Even I know it's was wrong ...

Kak Linda bought me something last week ...Diet milk that cost her .. RM150++ ...She wants me to be skinny as her ..So I would be more confident ...So I can feel pretty about myself more ..To tell the truth ...I prefer Kak Linda more than Kak Ain now ..cuz with Kak Linda.. I feel I can be her younger sister ..She understand me better ...With her I can tell everything about my life ..I can share almost anything with her now ...I can talk freely to her now ...She knew when I was angry ..She knew when I was sad ...She knew I'm just being myself ..Even sometime I lost my temper toward her ..But I will quickly say "Sorry" ... cuz I know .. it's all my fault ...I can't control my anger well ..I will curse if I was so angry ..I know it's bad attitude but .. seriously I cant help it ...Kak Linda respect my music ..She knew I love Super Junior damn much ! She didn't blame me cuz being an ELF ...She knew my hubby is lee Donghae !~She knew how my family treats me ..She did feel sorry but I told her not too ..She told me ... Everything's going to be alright ...She told me to love my parents even they mad at me often ...She told me to have faith in Allah ..A nice person will be happy in the end ...She tried to stand by my side ...She tried to reach me whenever I lost in my world ...She tried to be the best she can be for me as friend ...She tried to help me in everything ...

Kak Amal ...Even she new ...but I can be close with her within second ..She asked me to call her .. "Kak Ngah" ...She called me "Adik" in return ...She is the most friendly person I ever know ..She talks a lot like me too ..She respect me a a person ..Once she was in the same toilet with me .. -__-!!cuz heavy rain and got a lot of lighting ..I was in hurry to pee but have to hold back ..I was scared of lighting and thunder ..She pulled me and ask me to pee while she looking at d other side ..I was ... like ...OH MY GOD ... I'm shy !!~ I can feel like ears hot like hot chicken !!My face was so red !!She hugged me .. and told .. She got younger sister so she knew how I feels..I guess ...She likes to hugging me from the back ...cuz got one time ..She hugged me from behind too.. I was just so shocked every time she does that ... She likes to pick me at home ...So I always make some excuse .. or I'm going early...like today ...In the morning ..She told me to wait at my house cuz it's raining ..but I told her.. "it's okay" ...so I walk ... :DShe angry with me but .. just for a while ...Hehe ...