When Britney shaved her head

Years before Britney shaved her head, I remember cutting off all my hair when I was 16. Of course due to my first break -up. People didn't understand why she did what she did, but I understood more than anything. I remember feeling a bit free. Of course, days after, I was filled with regret. Anyhow, my hair never grew back as beautiful, thick, and as long as it was before. My mother has a way of making me feel self-conscious about it. My mom makes me feel self-conscious about things I never worried about before.

I just can not stop crying the past few weeks. I cry uncontrollably. Cutting is the only thing that really helps at the moment. The stinging from the cuts momentarily makes me forget about the real pain. I need to stop calling my dad. He only hurts me. Today when the conversation got too heavy, he just hung up the phone. He hangs up on me a lot. He treats me like an ex-wife. It is so easy to hang up versus being a real parent. I best his wife and my half brother are happy when he hangs up on me. They have never really liked me. My father's mother even treats me like a step-grandchild. I have never met people so cold.

I know my mom cares about me, but she isn't always nurturing. I remember being in a hospital once and I was in group therapy. I started crying uncontrollably and the nurse came over and hugged me and started crying too because she could relate to my situation. I remember wishing my mom could be like that nurse. I can't always be strong and I can't always turn off my feelings. Things are just so hard right now.... I can't sleep and I can't do anything. I used to love watching movies and I can't even do that anymore.

I'm so sorry you feel that way...I think people over thought of what britney did...even rich people can get sad and depressed...I mean we put them on pedestals just to watch them fall...that's what being a star is...people think its all glamor and easy life...but it aint...

have you ever told your mom about this? Ask her to hug you...I know its hard to ask that...my family isn't very cuddly either...

as for your father...I'm sorry he is like that...I don't know why parents put children in the world but don't take their responsibility...maybe one day you're the one who'll hang up on him...

my dad abused me, neglected me and now he came crawling back because he's realizing that he's getting old and no one's going to take care of him...so whatever he's doing is going to come back to him...

Thanks for all the support and sorry about your dad. I have tried telling my mom. She just yells at me and tells me to stop being weak. I think it is much easier for her. She has a career and a life unlike me. She tells me that she is miserable too, but at least she has some real friends left unlike me. She doesn't have to deal with the never ending studying anymore and staying up all night.