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Sunday, August 15, 2010

After a long time, I happened to listen to the tracks of Slumdog Millionaire today. I don't listen to those tracks often because they remind me of the driest of days - The days in Madurai. February-March 2009. Yuck! I wish I could just delete them from my life. Monday, Feb 23rd 2009, when the world woke up to the news of the double Oscars, I woke up too, at 4 AM to catch a glimpse of Rahman walking down the red carpet. Few of my colleagues (I should say co-trainees) dropped in as early as 6 AM to see if he made it. But, in vain. They left to work by 9 AM, when his turn hadn't come yet. I wasn't going to miss this to go to a place and copy, paste code from one workspace to another, all day.

"And the award goes to A.R.Rahman", was all I heard and I was running in and out of the hall, celebrating the joy, taking calls and making calls. And then came the performance and one more. My joy knew no bounds. And it lasted for about 15 minutes, after which it sunk in that I had to go to work. Dad wasn't home. My roommate who was back from Cbe that morning had left to work too. Alone was the word. I wanted to shout aloud, "God! Sling me away! Far from this place". The worst was, that day I was to be seated amongst employees, who pocketed a nice, fat pay-cheque and did not have to worry about being sent home soon enough. The rest were being shifted to another location and I was arranged a temp machine to work with. Two more days and I had to go to my college to attend the interview for the job of a lecturer, which went well, but a department merger ruined any chances of getting in. Even if I could, it was not until June/July.

Family issues were at a peaking rate. Almost everyday, an argument with dad leading to one of us yelling at the other and me storming out of the apartment to a colleague's place, so that I could be amongst people who really understood what it meant to be me. Signing out of yahoo hurriedly to avoid a fight with my sister or a friend. All of them were really supportive, but the mind needed a tad more than that. The problem was I din know what that was. Soon enough, calling a friend/classmate needed double thinking because even a birthday wish ended in discussion about recession and job hunt.

The hurried weekend trips to Coimbatore came as a big breather. The toughest of my uncles had begun to say, "Can't help it. Be patient!". It was good to meet friends who never said the usual stuff like "You'll find your way out", but laughed along for the dumb jokes of being "almost" unemployed. When I board the bus, the heart would sink again. During one of those trips, I lost my mobile, which definitely was one of my priced possessions. Like a madman, I drove my bike for around 20-30 kilometers looking for it, at 4:30 in the morning.

The worst part was when some of them started to leave. I remember looking at the screen of a friend greedily, as he filled in the resignation form. The many calls from people who wanted to help, but couldn't offer more than a startup company, some even without a fixed pay until they won a project. The two other offer letters I had (from campus interview) were just a set of printed papers now. The world had never seemed so secretive; Nil response for the 60 odd job related query mails sent out. Attaching a resume to a mail had become as much as a habit as not expecting a reply. And finally, the day came. Around 10 of us had applied for a development job at a company in Bangalore. When the first person got a mail to attend the interview the following day, the rest of awaited ours. At least for a few hours, I thought that my day had come. But, it hadn't. 2 of the 10 of us saw the rest of them off at the bus stand. All we could do was wish them luck. It wasn't their fault.

I went home dejected. Argument again. Yelling again. I did not have anywhere to storm out. The rest were on their way to Bangalore. I cried that night. Like a little child. Like a pressure cooker that seems like it is going to burst open, I opened my mind to the air in my room, well I should say, to the heat filled room. With reddened eyes I reached office the next day. All hopes shattered. The little enthusiasm left, flushed down the drain. And there it came. The same company had called the two of us for a testing vacancy. It was April 1st and I thought some idiot was playing a prank on us. That night on the way to Bangalore, we heard that we had another interview the day after that, in Chennai. In the end, I was unemployed on one Thursday and was considering the pros and cons of two offers, the next.

A couple of days later, it was my turn. I checked if I had missed out any fields before I clicked the Submit button of the resignation form. The promise was made. Three weeks later, I was on that side of the bus, where the people on the other side still hoped, "Our day is on its way". As I prayed for them, I also remembered to wish myself.

Happy Independence Day!

Lets promise to take care of ourselves.

Lets not spread trouble, if unable to spread happiness

Lets not punish others for small mistakes that we don't like to punished for.

Lets not honk at the vehicle in the front; some people still wait for the Green signal.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I'm a proud Leo. I feel so strongly about it because I see this great mindset match with people who are Leos too. I'm not a fan of astrology and don't care about the negatives of the same. But, it is always great to believe in positive thoughts and good ideals. I fit into most of the categories of a Leo. Dominant, organized, attention-craving, naughty and the list goes on.

So, Whats up?
Looking back is a tricky thing to do. Who doesn't have regrets when he is 23? I shouldn't have chosen this course; what was I thinking? It shouldn't have discarded my passion at its learning peak. Should I have told her earlier; Would that have made any difference? The whole attitude change I went through, I don't think it was worth it. Why am I working on something that I don't care about? A few of them at this age. But, its not only about the regrets. Well, at least not today. Its about hope. Its about commitment. Its about reality. Its about passion. I usually promise myself a lot of things this day, every year. Except last year, I've never kept any of those promises.

I've gotten bored of this promise deal. In the practical world, not all promises can be kept. I want to be practical. Aren't we missing out on the thrills of life? So, no promises (at least not aloud) this year. No hopes. No dreams. Lets get into some live action and see how things unwind. For a change, I'm going to practice "happy-with-what-I-have".

About today

To that note, when the clock strikes midnight, I'm wishing myself a very "Happy Birthday". I had planned to get myself an important gift yesterday, but, decided to postpone it. Certain things are more important than getting a gift at the right time. :) Its a good thing, also because I can dedicate an entire post as to why I wanted to get that and what I'm going to do with it.

Last afternoon, one of my friends asked me to suggest 10 of my favorite songs for some compilation he was working on. I gave him 5o songs in 5 mins. So, that kindled some real want to go back to my good old music. Spent three hours listening to marvels of our Indian musicians. And an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. What more can I ask for????

Sweet Memories

Back to the looking back thing, thanks to technology and my uncle, I was lucky to see how my family celebrated my first birthday. Nothing like the feeling of someone wishing you from the beyond. Please note that I'm not SREERAJ and it was a spelling mistake made by I-don-know-who.

22 years ago..

I loved this clip. Hope you enjoyed it too. Its really good that people don't know what you'd grow into, else they'd be careful on what they invest on you.

Thanks to everybody who've been with me all these years. The little good I've done till now wouldn't have been possible without you people. I have no specific names. There are so many of them. I'd want each and everyone of you with me till the very end.

Chiju

August 10th 2010

PS: Having regrets when you are 23 is not a big deal. What's important is to revert each one of them down the line.

Friday, August 06, 2010

DisclaimerMy thoughts and me are absolutely harmless. Suing would be absolutely unfair.

WarningKeep away any fragile items. If you love your hair, I'd not recommend this one.

These days there is technology in everything. Especially, music and technology are intertwined is an understatement. Instances follow.

Human-Computer Interaction

If humans understood zeroes and ones (binary digits), there would be no need for programming languages (like C, C++) to interact with the computer. Binary digits are the nature of how a computer works.

Movie - MozhiSong"Iyarkayin mozhigal purindhuvidil,

Manidharin mozhigal thevai illai."

TranslationIf the language of nature is understood,There is no need for human languages.

Common Admission Test

For the newbies, its called the CAT - something you write right, to get into the top B Schools in India. Once you get a clean shave in that, you are entitled to steal the best mermaids enlisted in Matrimonial websites.