Thursday, April 23, 2015

Vampiress Review: "Only Lovers Left Alive"

The Gist: A vampire couple worlds apart and living seperate lives comes together to support each other at their lonliest.

Clarification: This movie was universally critically praised and words were used to describe it such as "beautiful" and "artistic" not to mention it was nominated for a lot of awards at many film festivals and from many organizations I've never heard of. In other words fans of this page won't get it and probably won't like it very much. It's pretty much 2 hours of stereotypical high class indy film cliche's shoved into a horror movie that has no scare factor whatsoever. Adam (played by the Avengers Tom Hiddleston) lives in Detroit and is a tortured musician. Eve (played by Tilda Swinton) is....well...I'm not sure what she is other than a chick who looks like an albino and lives in Europe.

Both do basically nothing and have different ways of getting blood delivered to them to prevent from getting diseases because vampirism apparently isn't as fool proof as the other movies make it seem as vampires can get sick from tainted blood.

Eventually Adam contemplates suicide but a phone conversation with Eve where she decides to come to Detroit to see him rejuvenates him. After she gets there the movie is just two people talking along with the occasional sight seeing tour of abandoned buildings in Detroit.

Selling Point: If you like Academy Award style artsy films and not looking for any horror, as said before this is a highly praised one.

Female Vampire Factor: Well they are vampires but they don't drink via biting people due to drugs and diseases etc. Despite this fact when they drink from whatever they drink their blood from their fangs do come out so that's a plus.

Eve after Drinking

In the middle of the lovers reunion they get a visit from Eves little sister Ava (Mia Wasikowska) who is not in any way as reserved and under control as Eve. This becomes the closest thing to horror you get out of the movie as Ava kills Adam's closest human confidant Ian after seducing him (though you don't actually see the bite).

This leads to the movies finale where Adam and Eve ditch Ava and head to Europe together (as Ian was last scene with them before his death) and the grand finally which is the only time you see Adam and Eve attack someone old school style.

So if you're into artsy moody films go for it. If you want a similar film with less art and more sexy Vampire T&A go for the film Kiss of the Damned. I give this a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.