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Epic Proportions.

Epic Party Bro Jared Guynes Is Back And Now He's Going After A Guinness World Record.

Hey, remember Jared Guynes? He thinks you do.

For those blanking, he was the big ol' manboy that threw that “epic” Ninja Turtles and Vanilla Ice reunion party at South Side Ballroom a few years back. In spite of the $50 ticket price to see Mr. VanWinkle and a handful of other past-their-prime performers of hip-hop's past, Guynes somehow managed to raise more than $72,000 via crowd-funding to put the thing on.

To date, he's sold almost 430 tickets to this bring-your-own-Nerf-gun sucker at $16 a pop (that's $1.50 less than it normally costs to get into the stadium for a tour, for what it's worth) — but it should be noted that the thing won't happen at all unless at least 650 people buy tickets in advance.

Guynes and Co. previously attempted to set this Nerf gun battle record in conjunction with that Vanilla Ice party, although the Guinness folks weren't satisfied with their verification methods. Since then, the record's been broken a few times, going from 430 participants to 601, where it currently sits. That is to say, if this event happens at all, it's at least guaranteed to set the record. So there's that.

Additionally, some $2,600 of that pledged money will be donated to tornado relief. At the time of this writing, Jared's sold 428 tickets to his epic Nerf battle, and has 35 more days to find the other 222 pledgers needed to give the thing a go, which actually seems pretty doable.

If being part of a group record that one man alone expects to take entire, sole credit for sounds like your idea of a good time, feel free to sign up right here.

Cory Graves is the Associate Editor at Central Track. He enjoys not only writing about Dallas and its local music scene, but being a part of it as a member of the band Vandoliers. Courtney Love once referred to him onstage as “my fucking therapist,” which he immediately put on his resume.