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Vanity Fair’s Sarah Palin Story Is Totally True, Says Vanity Fair

A mysterious person called “Gina Loudon” who allegedly lies about everything also allegedly lied when she claimed to know the reporter who wrote the new Vanity FairSarah Palin story, which claims (for the first time, we’re sure!) that Sarah Palin is a paranoid fraud who savagely destroys anyone who crosses her. VF writer Michael Joseph Gross has a new article on the magazine’s website claiming this Gina Loudon just makes up stuff and then Ben Smith of the Politico just repeats it — and then, the zombie-slob army of Palin worshipers all say (in unison, on Facebook), “Librul lamestream media lies to kill Trig.” So what was actually untrue in this latest magazine article about how Palin is a monster? “In briefly describing a scene in which I saw members of the Palin family (Sarah, Todd, Piper) just before Sarah Palin spoke at an event in Independence, Missouri, I assumed that the child with Down syndrome who was among the Palins was their son Trig,” Gross writes. “This was a mistake, and I regret the error. The child turns out to be Samuel Loudon, the son of Gina Loudon, an acquaintance of Palin’s.” Whoops! This is exactly morally equivalent to doing the whole Holocaust, in the mind of Palin (who just heard about the Holocaust on the History Channel, we bet, in a program called Hitler’s UFOs: Untold Stories of the World War II). Anyway, so this Loudon lady is furious because come on so she, being an “acquaintance of Palin,” allegedly is spreading this elaborate and total fabrication about her conversations and dealings with the Vanity Fair writer, even though they’ve never met or communicated in any way at all. And this is how the next presidential election will be decided! [Vanity Fair]

Barbara Boxer now has a four-point lead over mean jerk-lady Carly Fiorina, which makes sense because Boxer is the three-term Democratic senator from the Dem-leaning state of California, while Fiorina is just some mean jerk-lady who personally destroyed California’s economy when she fired everybody from HP, which continues to be in the news for horrible things, all of which are probably Carly’s fault, too. Meanwhile, Jerry Brown just finally started his campaign for governor and is automatically just two points (within the margin of error) behind unwanted eBay item Meg Whitman, who has spent the past half a year dumping millions of dollars per month on teevee commercials nobody has noticed. [CNN]

New unemployment claims supposedly dropped to 451,000 last week, hooray! But eight states (including California and Virginia) didn’t actually report jobless numbers last week because of the Labor Day holiday (ha), so the U.S. government just made up the numbers from those states, and those numbers are lower, hooray! “The total number of people receiving unemployment insurance was little changed, while those getting extended payments rose.” [Bloomberg]