Tag Archives: taking up space

I believe that body positivity started out as a reaction to the under-representation and negative representations of non-thin and non-white women in the media. Women in particular had become sick and tired of not seeing themselves reflected in the pages of magazines or on television. It was really a grass roots effort to be seen and appreciated.

But as the years have gone on, body positivity has come to mean different things to different people.

For women of color it has become about becoming visible and being represented in a way that reflects our diversity and cultural richness.

For those with chronic illness or those who are differently-abled it is about showing our strengths despite a society that tries to limit us with negative descriptors.

For fat women it’s about so many things, including giving ourselves permission to wear what we want when we want. By now everyone knows what a fatkini is, right?!

For many it’s about anti-dieting and how this billion dollar industry shames people into believing that a very specific body type (ie. thin) is the only standard of beauty we should ascribe to.

What I understand is that body positivity is really a movement about being seen, heard, appreciated and having equitable access to resources and positive representation across the board. It is constantly changing to be as inclusive as possible, as any well-intentioned movement should. I know my views have changed over the years and I’ve learned so much about my own biases. I do my best to stay open and learn from others who have different experiences than I do.

If you’ve ever wanted to blog about body positivity, join me this Saturday for a super fun class on BoPo Blogging 101. Early Bird tickets are just $15 and available through this Wednesday.

I’ve been to the mountaintop and we are in the midst of a re-evolution. And by that I mean change is coming. A strong wind is picking up speed and new ideas are ripe for implementation.

I believe we are constantly evolving, and that important movements get impeded by greed and the desire to be the in the limelight. But now we are in a time of recognizing that the isms of our society must be addressed in a more holistic and inclusive way. No more 2nd wave feminism that excludes women of color. No more vilifying fat bodies. No more leaving oppressed peoples out of the conversation.

The universe must evolve beyond stigma and hate. It must evolve past judgment and stereotyping.

Women are prepared to dismantle the patriarchy and all its hideous cousins — misogyny, racism, homophobia, and ableism.

Fat folks are taking back the “F” word, and refashioning in it into a big “FUCK YOU” needlepoint doily for the dieting society.

So you see, it’s inevitable. We’ve tried the white, male, cisgender, abled way of doing things for more centuries than I care to count. And it doesn’t work. Well, it works for them. But it sure as fuck doesn’t work for us.

Now is the time for female led, POC (people of color) led, LGBTQ led, and differently abled led, social movements. We must take up space instead of asking for permission.

The oppressed must stand in solidarity if we are ever going to create sustainable social change. And that happens through a sincere desire to learn from one another, and an awareness of our intersectional privilege. And it also requires action.

No more crossing your legs because you don’t want to take up space. Spread em’ wide and get comfortable in your body. Stand tall and proud. Claim the right to let your ass jiggle and your thighs wiggle!

I have the right to take up space. I have the right to spread out and make myself visible. And at 5′-8″ and 230 pounds, you’d think it would be easy.

But it’s not.

Women have been taught to make themselves small and invisible in a myriad of ways. These are just some of the ways in which we are encouraged not to take up space.

Be thin and shut up.

Don’t be too loud or vulgar — it’s not feminine.

Think before you speak. You might offend someone.

Don’t be too smart or no man will like you.

Don’t be too aggressive or you’ll be perceived as a bitch.

Look at these ads with thin models and use all your energy to try to look like them. You never will, but keep trying anyway. That way you don’t have the energy to engage in conversations about the oppression you are experiencing.

Don’t be too emotional if you want to be successful in business, because people will think you can’t handle the job.

Wear clothes that you find uncomfortable and restrictive so you can reinforce the idea that your worth is measured by how you appear to others.

Tell your daughters it’s their fault when they are sexually assaulted or get unwanted attention from men.

When you’re sitting on an airplane, bus or train, keep your arms and legs crossed, being sure not to demand any space.

I watched this amazing poetry performance by Lily Myers, and it resonated with me very deeply. Let me know what you think.

The next post will be about how you can start taking up as much space as you fucking well please.

How have you been taught not to take up space? Leave your comments below.