The Terrorizing Twenties

I said the other day that on a scale of 1-10, Annabel’s attitude was at “teenager.” And while it was a joke, it also wasn’t. The kid can be so moody. Last week, I literally looked at her with a funny face and she screamed “NO!” and ran to her room and slammed the door. If I ask her to give me back the phone or remote or whatever “off-limits” toy she has somehow managed to get her hands on, she’ll throw it at me. OH and she learned the word “ow,” so if I go to hold her hand in public she screams “OWWWWW,” getting the attention of everyone within a three-mile radius.

It’s incidents like these that make me wonder if chewing up my birth control pills will make them more effective.

Living with PMS Toddler can be tiring. Mike is the sweet Daddy that wants to do whatever it takes to make Annie happy. I obviously want Annie to be happy but I am NOT going to be a pushover with her attitudes. So when she shoves Happy Baby, Sad Baby at me to read for the fifth time in ten minutes, I say no. Then I get the lip. UGH. I just read it four times!

The kid and toddler sites I read all say Annie “is going through a developmental spurt” or something (hee, spurt), and the temper stuff is normal. For the longest time the only thing I saw her developing WAS a temper. Forget the Terrible Twos. Annie is in the Terrorizing Twenty (Months).

Finally, FINALLY, I’ve noticed these bursts of awesomeness. Like when she picked up a certain article of my clothing and said, “Mama, dis on…peeeease!” So I obliged:

Or when we were at my friend’s house and right when I was about to pull her away from touching buttons on the oven, she said, “Fee! Four!” then pressed the three and four buttons.

And then she does THIS and I’m like, “You are seriously a delight! I want 87 more just like you.”

But then this happens:

…and I’m back to chewing up my birth control and washing it down with Maalox.

35 Comments

Jenn says:

We totally made my sister’s now 3 year old do the same thing! She knew dog, cat, cow, snake, bear and the list went on! She was so easy when she was younger, but now – girlfriend has attitude! Try to tell her that if she doesn’t sit down in the tub, she’ll fall and you get a gallon of water splashed in your face. But don’t dare discipline her for it because now Auntie Jenny is mean and she doesn’t want her Auntie Jenny anymore. I don’t think I will ever stop being amazed at how much power these little people have.

Jenn says:

Ha!! And if you think 2 is bad??? WAIT til she hits the 3’s!! My 2 oldest were Awesome 3 yr olds so when my BFF warned me about 3’s with my last baby I laughed….until….SHE WAS RIGHT!!!! Good Luck… You’ll do GREAT!!

So true! My first was fine at 2 and 3…I really thought people were making a big deal out of nothing. Then our youngest little miss hit three and OMG. She missed the fireworks on the July fourth for looking at me sweetly and saying “I hate you and wish you would die.” At three! No one in my house or around her EVER talks like that EVER!

Thankfully, it really was the first six months of three. The second half hasn’t been MUCH better. Our big problem now is that our 5 year old spent the summer as “the golden child” who was always the one who did the right thing and now SHE’S having trouble with the fact that little sis is growing up and getting praised for making good choices. She sees any good words said to little sis as taking away from her.

karen says:

holly says:

Both of my kids had the same issues right before they turned two. But once two hit, they were all sweet and innocent again. Maybe that will be the case with Annie, too! But 5? 5 is all eye rolling and “Mommy! Don’t sing and dance in the car!!!! People can see you and it’s “ignoying” me.”! And here I thought I was being the fun kind of mom by blasting music and singing along with my kids.

Mary Ann says:

The bra picture is the best! I am convinced lttle girls start pms’ing as toddlers. If you find an answer please let me know – just stick to your guns and don’t be such a pushover Mike you will live to regret it down the road.

Yep, seems totally normal to me. When all of the meltdowns started at age 2, my friends warned me that age 3 is worse…my daughter turned three 2 weeks ago. We’re still waiting on the edge to see if my friends were right I always thought I wanted another baby – always. Until about 6 months ago and I honestly starting thinking that 1 is enough. Seriously, one is probably all I’m having! But we all have good moments and bad – it’s what makes it worth it. And I LOVE your chair / ottaman set!

I’m in the same boat, Heather. I have a two year old son who can be wonderful and clever and loving and funny….and then two seconds later he’s yelling and throwing himself on the floor….then two seconds later he’s fabulous again. Oh…and if I show any interest at all in what he’s doing, he’ll stop doing it and throw things on the floor. *sigh* Gotta love life with a toddler.

Colleen says:

I will tell you what someone once said about my daughter at that age, “it may be hard for you now, but that attitude will serve her well as she gets older.” She is going to be awesome and will “turn the world on with her smile!” Fasten your seatbelt, it’s going to be a bumpy ride, but once she gets to where she needs to be, she will be unstoppable.

Jeannine says:

Have you read “Raising your Spirited Child” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka?
One thought is that kids go in (about) 6 month cycles. Some kids have a hard time right before their birthday, some have it half way between birthdays. Emotional development can’t keep up with physical/mental development.
I would also highly recommend that she get Omega 3 supplements and maybe even B12. These can help with emotional stability.
And also consider a corn allergy. This tends to cause sudden outbursts. Although wanting a book read for a 5th time is TOTALLY normal and necessary for toddlers

She has always been an epic tantrum thrower. The very first time she started throwing her fits, she would threw herself down on the hardwood floors and gave herself a heck of a goose egg on her noggin. The next time she threw a fit, she stopped mid-tantrum, (very quietly) off to her bedroom, to go get a pillow to throw herself down on.

aqua6 says:

Our pediatrician said, “Oh, she’s in a mood at 18 months — that’s when the terrible two’s really start.” It was the only thing she was early to do!

Yes, like someone said above, there is an idea that they go through 6-month cycles of “equilibrium” and “dis-equilibrium”. At the end of preschool in May, I was so happy because my daughter had just turned 3 and seemed finally to be a bit easier. All the 3.5 yr old parents were saying, “I can’t wait for this to be over.” Well, we had one good month and then baby brother was born, so there goes that phase!

They’re old but still have relevant information, a book series for each year of childhood by Louise Ames:

MissyK says:

Oh boy…the OWWW caused flashbacks! My oldest at 3, now 19, used to scream at the top of his lungs when he was told to do something he didn’t want to do. One day we were at the playground and I called to him and said it was time to go. He let loose like someone was killing him. He was on the OTHER side of the swings from me! My neighbor (who’s hubby was a cop now mind you) came up to me & said “I really owe you an apology. We would hear him screaming & just KNEW that he was being abused. We seriously were going to report it. But seeing him now…no one is hurting him…he is just a holy terror!!” OMG! Temper tantrums almost got me reported to child services. I am so glad he grew out of that…umm mostly… now. :\

Fiona says:

Heather,
I have a suggestion that saved me many broken things in my home and still works today (my twins are 4!)

When Annie has something you don’t want her to have (your iPhone, a Waterford vase, etc.), keep your hands at your sides, go all mushy and say, “Annie! OH, my Goodness! You found it! I was looking for my phone everywhere and you found it! What a helper you are! Thank you so much!”

I guarantee you, she will hold the phone out to you and allow you to take it gently from her. It works every single time. It is flippin’ amazing.

Marie says:

I’m a nanny and I’ve been doing it for 12 years…this is totally normal. My best advice is to ignore, ignore, ignore. Don’t react, don’t watch, never ever give in when she’s doing it. She will grow out of it but if you give her what she wants, she will continue it her entire life.

Karen says:

My girl is only 10 MONTHS and is a terror! She can’t walk yet, but she already stomps her feet when she’s mad, while holding onto her brother’s desk. Phew! She has perfecting this little SHRIEK that just instantly shoots up my blood pressure, and uses it whenever we do something crazy, like keep her out of bathrooms or try and let her brother complete a puzzle without her chewing the pieces. We sometimes call her the Rage Monster, hope it won’t put her in therapy.