Contents

Synopsis

Tim
Bisley (Pegg) and Daisy Steiner (Stevenson) are two London
twenty-somethings who meet by chance in a cafe while both are flat-hunting. Despite
barely knowing each other, they conspire to pose as a young
professional couple in order to meet the requisites of an
advertisement for a relatively cheap flat in the distinctive
building at 23 Meteor Street, Tufnell Park, which is owned by and also
houses the landlady, Marsha Klein (Julia Deakin). Also in the building is
Brian Topp (Mark Heap),
an eccentric conceptual artist who lives and works on
his various pieces in the ground floor flat. Frequent visitors are
Tim's best friend, Mike Watt (Nick Frost) who ends up becoming a lodger
after Marsha's daughter Amber "flies the nest", and Daisy's best
friend, Twist Morgan (Katy Carmichael).

The series largely concerns the colourful and surreal adventures
of Tim and Daisy as they navigate through life, decide on what they
want to do with their lives, come to terms with affairs of the
heart, and try to figure out new and largely unproductive ways of
killing time. Tim and Daisy repeatedly stress that they aren't a
couple to everyone but Marsha, but despite (or because of) this,
romantic tension develops between them, particularly during the
second series.

Main
characters

Tim Bisley (Played by Simon Pegg): Tim, often seen with his
skateboard, his Chocolate beanie, or his PlayStation controller, is an aspiring comic book artist (his
surname is an homage to real life comic artist Simon Bisley),
amateur skateboarder, and passionate follower of cult
fiction in many forms, including video games, science fiction, and especially - at
least initially - the original Star Wars trilogy. He is a rather grumpy
and short-tempered soul, quick to irritation at the slightest
provocation, mostly because his girlfriend, Sarah (played by Anna
Wilson-Jones), broke his heart and dumped him after an affair
with Tim's friend - Duane Benzie (played by Peter
Serafinowicz). He's currently writing and illustrating a graphic novel about
an orphaned boy who has been inadvertently transformed into a giant
mutant bear by an "oxypheromalkahyde" steroid created by the
experiments of the crazed Doktor Mandrake, who now is trying to
find this bear so that he can replicate the results. Tim hasn't
actually tried selling his work, because he's afraid that people
will laugh at both it and him, as shown by flashbacks in-show of an
evil-looking man (who is later found to be Damien Knox, editor of
Darkstar Comics) laughing at Tim's work. A traumatic incident in
his childhood when attempting to cure a fear of dogs merely left him terrified of
dogs, lightning and bamboo instead. He initially works as an
assistant manager at a comic book shop, "Fantasy Bazaar", alongside
its manager/owner, Bilbo Bagshot (played by Bill Bailey). In the second series, he
lands his dream job as a graphic artist at
Dark Star Comics. Tim consistently demonstrates more of a work ethic than Daisy,
although his adverse reaction to Twiglets makes him violent.

Tim and Daisy

Daisy Steiner (Played by Jessica Hynes):
Daisy is an aspiring writer, although she tends to spend most of
her time actively avoiding doing any writing - or any other actual
work for that matter. Whereas Tim is often grouchy and sour, Daisy
is sunny, enthusiastic and cheerful, and at times overwhelmingly
so. She can also be aggressive and confrontational at times, as
demonstrated when she joined an employment agency only to lose most
of the jobs she was assigned through her negative attitudes
(including snapping "Fuck you!" to customers when presented with
reasonable requests). She considers herself to be quite
intellectual, even though she only graduated from Kingston
University with a third class
degree in Humanities. She has a tendency to babble in
conversation, making social interactions rather more difficult to
navigate than they necessarily have to be. She also has a tendency
to interfere in other people's problems or lives as a way of
avoiding focusing on her work or her own problems. Daisy bestows
most of her love in a shockingly high pitch upon her dog Colin, a
Miniature Schnauzer, whom she
rescues from being put down. Daisy also possesses an innate knack
for martial arts,
although this is seldom called into use. Her greatest desire was to
go to India and see the Taj Mahal, a goal which she
accomplished between series one and two after having actually
published some articles for a change (her trip was also aided by
inheritance money from her deceased aunt).

Marsha Klein (Played by Julia Deakin):
Marsha, the permanently sozzled landlady, is never seen without a
lit cigarette in one hand, and a glass of red wine in the other.
Once a promising young athlete, she retired from athletics after
receiving a leg injury and became a groupie instead, resulting in several marriages
that ended bitterly and a teenage daughter, Amber, with whom she is
near-constantly arguing. She passionately lusts after Brian, an
attraction which stems from a hazy, torrid incident in the past
where rent negotiations became somewhat more sensual than usual as
a result of Brian's sheer poverty. She's utterly delighted to have
new, young friends, which is slightly awkward, as she's the only
one who doesn't know that Tim and Daisy aren't actually a
couple.

Brian Topp (Played by Mark Heap): The lodger in the flat below Tim
and Daisy's, Brian is a rather bizarre and somewhat angst-ridden
and pretentious artist. Quietly spoken and intense, Brian gives the
impression of being almost psychotic and sociopathic; in fact, he's
just very shy and timid. His main artistic drives are anger, pain,
fear and aggression, and his art is, according to him, 'a bit more
complex' than watercolours. Both his artistic drives and
his social maladjustment can be traced to the death of his
childhood pet dog Pom Pom, run over by a truck when playing with
Brian (who used to dress him up in period costumes and photograph
him). He frequently behaves in a tormented fashion, particularly
when Marsha's lusting after him. He is in love with Twist, and
embarked on a torrid relationship with her before they broke up
towards the end of series two. Despite this, his sexuality is quite
complex and frequently alluded to throughout the series, as he
seems quite undecided at times. When directly asked if he's gay he
replies that he is not, but in a manner that suggests he thinks he
ought to be. At the start of the first series, he has a strong
dislike of contemporary art, but is quite
talented in its use, and by the end of the second series he
overcomes his disregard and proudly displays his abstract portrait of
Twist in public. The character of Brian was originally written for
Julian
Barratt, who had previously worked with Wright, Pegg and
Stevenson in their previous series Asylum. Barratt was unable to
play the role so Mark Heap was cast instead.[1]

Mike Watt (Played by Nick Frost): Mike is Tim's best friend. He
wishes dearly that he could join the British Army, but unfortunately is
ineligible owing to the detached retinas he received following a
painful childhood accident when jumping from a tree after being
egged on by Tim, and as such, must console himself with membership
in the Territorial Army
instead. The first series revealed that Mike had been thrown out of
the TA because he stole a Chieftain tank and tried to invade Paris with it while on weekend
manoeuvres in France. At a
readmission hearing, it is revealed that Mike's invasion plan
failed because he stopped at Euro Disney and was
apprehended on Space Mountain. Mike is granted readmission
by the end of the first series however, and even advanced to the
rank of sergeant during
the second series. Mike is very protective of Tim, and subtle
suggestions over the course of the series indicate that Mike may
have a slight crush on him (evident in such 'subtle' indications as
Tim and himself holding hands at the start of some scenes, most
obviously in the Paintball episode: their hands are parted by a
tree). Despite his military pretensions, Mike is a sweet and caring
individual who is deeply hurt by being put aside in favour of Tim's
growing relationship with Sophie (played by Lucy Akhurst) in series two. The character
was based on a recurring joke character between
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (who are best friends outside of the
series). When writing Spaced, Pegg included the character
and persuaded Edgar Wright to cast Frost.

Twist Morgan (Played by Katy
Carmichael): Twist, Daisy's best friend, is (in the words of
Tim) either 'sweet, but stupid, or an evil genius'. She 'works in
fashion' (i.e. a dry cleaner) and is an atrociously
superficial 'fashion fascist'. She is prone to giving backhanded compliments to Daisy,
particularly about her size, weight or clothing choices. It is
never mentioned in the series how Daisy and Twist met, though
various extras on the DVD boxset state that they met at university.
Although she and Brian are social opposites with apparently
incompatible fashion sense, they did have an intense love affair,
mainly based on sex, which ended badly. It is alluded though that
they both still love each other. Tim has said she is like "Cordelia Chase
from Buffy the Vampire
Slayer".

Episodes

Style and
references

According to Simon Pegg, the series Northern
Exposure and its frequent use of fantasy sequences was
"one of the key influences" in the creation of the show. In fact,
he and Jessica Hynes pitched the show to LWT as "a cross between The Simpsons,
The X-Files
and Northern Exposure."[2][3]

References to popular culture — particularly but not exclusively
to science
fiction and horrorfilms, comic books and video games — abound in Spaced to
the extent that the DVD of Series 2
includes the "Homage-o-meter", an alternative set of subtitles
listing every reference and homage; for the "Definitive Collectors
Edition" DVD boxed set, the Homage-o-meter was added to the first
series as well.[4]
Providing the artwork for Tim's comic 'The Bear', drawings and
doodles were 2000 AD artists Jim Murray and Jason Brashill,
who also provided other incidental artwork for the show. In Episode
Two of Season Two: "Changes", Bilbo wears a 2000 AD comic T-shirt
whilst lecturing Tim about The Phantom
Menace.

Spaced has a distinctive cinematic style set by
director Edgar
Wright and shot (unusually for a sitcom) with a single camera. In addition to borrowing
liberally from the visual language of film (in particular genre films), it has
particular stylistic mannerisms like the recurring device of scene
changes occurring in the middle of a pan. The series' atmosphere is
also established by the use of a particular flavour of contemporary
dance music on its
soundtrack.[5]

The series is also noted for its regular references to recreational drug use, from its
title onwards. Tim and Daisy smoke marijuana on a number of
occasions. The plot of "Gone" is mostly about cannabis use and consumption of alcohol. In "Art", Tim and Mike
take speed and some of the episode revolves
around that. Also, in "Epiphanies", it is implied that all the
major characters (Tim, Mike, Daisy, Twist and Brian) take ecstasy while clubbing.

DVD

Spaced Series 1 and 2 were both released on DVD in the
UK, followed by a boxset which collects the previously released
single-series DVDs and adds a bonus disc with a feature length
documentary "Skip to the End" behind the scenes of the show and a
music video by Osymyso.

Music rights issues long prevented the release of
Spaced in Region 1 (U.S. and Canada), and despite the
raised profile that resulted from Pegg and Wright's movies Shaun of the
Dead and Hot
Fuzz, no DVDs surfaced between 2004 and 2007. In an
interview, it was suggested a deal with Anchor Bay Entertainment failed to come to
fruition over the music rights.

Music

Spaced: Soundtrack to the TV Series

In 2001, a soundtrack of the first series was released in tandem
with the first series on DVD and VHS. A second soundtrack was not
released. A remix of "Smash It" by Fuzz Townshend was
featured heavily in series two.

Spaced-Out features the full details of the music used in series
two at this link.

The series 2 finale makes prominent use of the Lemon Jelly track, "The Staunton Lick". Fred Deakin, who is one
half of Lemon Jelly, also runs design studio Airside, who produced
limited edition Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz
t-shirts upon the release of the films.

Future

A third and final series has been eagerly requested from fans
and considered for some time by the cast and crew (with Simon Pegg
joking that it would end with a Blake's 7 style shoot-out) but a
rumoured movie is not in the cards. Edgar Wright told the official
fan website Spaced-Out that he is "torn" about making more
Spaced and that "we have genuinely talked about it and
have some neat ideas that could work in a Before Sunset
/ Whatever Happened to
the Likely Lads? kind of way". Soon after series two had
aired on television, the official Spaced website announced
that, "despite what certain national newspapers might have said,
Series 2 is not the last series of Spaced. There will be a
third series of Spaced - we just don't know when."[8]

Many see the movie Shaun of the Dead as a natural
extension of the television series because it used the same
creative team (having been written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright,
directed by Wright, starring Pegg, featuring Nick Frost in a
prominent role, and Jessica Hynes and Peter Serafinowicz as minor
characters) and was set out in much the same way. Wright and Pegg
have acknowledged that the zombie sequences in the episode 'Art'
were a key inspiration. Wright, however, points out the
differences: Shaun has fewer pop-culture and movie
references, and tries to avoid the clichés of recent horror
parodies in favour of a more naturalistic style as its story
progresses.

Shaun of the Dead achieved unexpected success, both in
the UK and the US, and provided an opportunity to produce a second
movie entitled Hot
Fuzz, released in the UK on 16 February 2007 and in the US
on 20 April 2007. In a 2006 Radio 4 interview, however, Simon Pegg
stated that he’d like to bring back Spaced for a one-hour
special to "tie up all the loose ends".[9]
However, there have been no formal or significant commitments to a
third series of Spaced, and no indication of a new series
or special being commissioned.

Spaced premiered in the U.S. on Bravo in
2002. Only four episodes were aired. In 2004, the now-defunct Trio began
airing the show regularly. BBC America began airing the series on 23
June 2006. It currently airs in Canada on Showcase.

While there is little indication that a third series will be
produced in the near future, the recent Spaced: Definitive
Collector's Edition DVD box set contained a documentary, "Skip
to the End", examining the making of the show and its cultural
influence. While primarily factual and based around interviews with
the cast, crew and outside commentators, this documentary is
notable in that it features an in-character 'epilogue' of sorts to
the series in which Daisy and Tim briefly appear in the doorway of
the flat, holding a baby - a brief conversation establishing that
the baby (a female baby Tim wishes to call 'Luke') is theirs and
that they are now in a relationship.

During an Australian interview for Hot Fuzz with Sydney
magazine The Drum Media, Nick Frost stated “It’s dead. I
know Simon doesn’t like to disappoint the fans so he says ‘ooooh,
maybe…’, but I don’t have any sort of emotional attachment to it so
I can just say it’s not happening.”

During a March 2007 interview on a New Zealand radio station,
the interviewer asked Simon Pegg if Spaced was "an ongoing
production", to which he replied, "No, I think that's done".
Furthermore, at the Los Angeles screening of Hot Fuzz,
Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright both confirmed that the show would not
return in any form, as the actors are all now "too old", and they
fear it would ruin a good thing. An article published on August 2,
2007 states that the third season of Spaced will not
happen[10].

On Saturday 10 November 2007 the BFI Southbank (London) hosted a
Spaced marathon screening both series in their entirety
(broadcast versions). Spaced cast members (Pegg, Frost,
Mark Heap, Katy Carmichael, Julia Deakin and even Aida the dog) and
Edgar Wright
attended the screenings and a special "Spaced on Stage"
event. Jessica
Hynes and Michael Smiley (Tyres) sent messages for
the fans apologising for being unable to attend. While being asked
the question where the characters would "be" right now. Simon
explained that he once wrote down thoughts/ideas he had on that
topic. After giving updates on where he thinks the characters end
up he concludes by stating Tim and Daisy were always going to end
up together from the beginning. He describes a moment he envisioned
for the show where they both realize they love each other. A video
of this Q&A event was posted on Sep 24 2009 on Edgar Wright's
Blog [1].[11]

However, in a public response to a Deadline Hollywood post,
Simon Pegg declared that the makers of Spaced "have never
categorically ruled out the possibility of more. Tim, Daisy, Mike,
Brian, Twist, Marsha and Colin all have destinies locked in mine
and Jess's collective grey matter, who's to say they won't some day
be played out."

It has since been confirmed by Nick Frost during an interview
that "Simon only told the fans that there was a possibility of a
third series to keep them happy." Simon & Jess had apparently
decided that series 2 would be the end whilst writing episode
7.

On 30 December 2009, Pegg stated on Twitter that if given the chance to make a
third series, he would decline.[12]

American
remake

On 29 October 2007, it was announced that Fox would commission a
pilot for an American version of Spaced. Variety reported that it was
unclear how Pegg and Wright will be involved, but that they may be
advisors to the series;[13]
however, Wright later confirmed via his MySpace blog that neither
he, Pegg nor Hynes were at any point approached regarding what
Edgar infamously termed "McSpaced" due in part to the involvement
of film director McG (as picked up
quickly by fans and internet press who disliked the idea of a
remake) and will have no involvement. Wright expressed that he was
upset that "they would a) never bother to get in touch but still b)
splash my and Simon's names all over the trade announcements and
imply that we're involved in the same way Ricky & Steve were with The Office." Wright also expressed
anger at the media for overlooking Hynes' role in the creation of
Spaced by connecting the series to Shaun of the
Dead and Hot Fuzz in news articles. Pegg, Hynes and
Wright have complained about a "lack of respect" shown by the US
makers who have left them out of discussions.[14] It
was announced in May 2008 that, following a generally negative
reaction to the pilot, the American version Spaced would
not be commissioned. [15]

From Wikiquote

Spaced is a British television
situation comedy written by and starring Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson, directed by Edgar Wright, and broadcast on Channel
4. The show concerns Tim and Daisy, two young people pretending to
be a couple in order to rent a North London flat. It is notable for
its almost constant dropping of pop-culture references. Two series,
each of seven episodes, have been broadcast (in Autumn 1999 and
Spring 2001). The first series was a nominee for Best TV Sitcom in
the 1999 British Comedy Awards.

Season 1

Beginnings
[1.1]

Tim: You're scared of mice and
spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two
species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of
mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in
order to steal cheese.

Tim: [sarcastically] Only if you
bring it back. [pauses] You can HAVE a tea-bag, Brian, you
can't borrow one. [turns around, sees Brian dressed as a
painting] You've got paint on you.

Brian: It's a literal tribute to the self
reflexivity of Rembrandt.

Tim: Did he like it?

Brian: He's dead.

Tim: Bloody hell, that really backfired.

Brian: What are you playing?

Tim: Tomb Raider 3.

Brian: She's drowning.

Tim: Yeah.

Brian: Is that the point of the game?

Tim: Depends what mood you're in really.

Brian: What sort of mood are you in then?

Tim: Well, I got a letter from my
ex-girlfriend this morning, 3 months too late, explaining why she
dumped me. It was full of 'you'll always be special' and 'I'll
always love you' platitudes designed to make me feel better whilst
simultaneously appeasing her deep seated sense of guilt for dumping
me, running off with a slimy little city boy called Duane and
destroying my faith in everything which is good and pure.

Paintball player: Yeah. I've always fancied
myself as a bit of a soldier.

Tim: Yeah, I've always fancied myself.

Mike: I've always fancied you...

Tim: [quickly] Not here!

Paintball player: You've done this before,
then?

Mike: You could say that.

Paintball player: What do you mean?

Mike: Well, let's just say the last time I was
in this situation, I wasn't using a paintball gun.

Paintball player: [in awe] You've
seen combat?

Mike: Yes, yes I have.

Paintball player: Where?

Mike: Umm, on the television!

Paintball player: But you just said the last
time you were in this situation you didn't use a paintball
gun!

Tim: He didn't.

Paintball player: Well, what did you use?

Mike: Erm, it was a big stick...?

[About Duane]':

Tim: He's made this personal.

Mike: I thought he made it personal when he
slept with your girlfriend.

Tim: Well, he's made it more
personal.

Mike: I don't think it gets much more
personal than sleeping with your girlfriend, Tim.

Duane: You Know what they say about love and
war.

Tim: Yeah, one of them involves a large amount
of physical and psychological pain and the other's war.

Duane: See Tim, that's the difference between
you and I. Organization. Careful thinking. Forward planning. And
that is why I sleep in the arms of a beautiful woman and you spend
your evenings alone in your bedsit. With cheap porn.

Tim: It's not a bedsit. It's a flat.
[Shoots Duane in the groin]

Chaos
[1.5]

Daisy: In the end, our relationship
was just like a sandwich toaster. You know, you just forget you've
got one. And it just sits there on the top of the cupboard
collecting a layer of greasy fudge. And even if you do see it you
just assume it's broken, you think if it's working I'd be using it
all the time, but you don't and it just sits there. Then one day,
you get an overwhelming desire for toasted sandwiches, you know?
And you get it down and it works, and you can't believe it, you
know? And then you make every kind of toasted sandwich there is,
you have toasted sandwich parties. You make Marmite and cheese,
chocolate and...

Tim: Pilchards.

Daisy: Banana and...

Bilbo: Acorns.

Daisy: Acorns. And then as quickly as the
desire comes, it just goes. And then you put the toasted sandwich
maker away. And, you know what?

Tim: What?

Daisy: You don't miss it.

Bilbo: So what you're saying is 'Don't hide
the toasted sandwich maker away, use him regularly and you'll get
the most out of him'.

Tim: Yeah, that's how it all starts, with oohs
and ahs, but later there's barking and biting! He's a ticking
timebomb of death, Daisy. You give him all the love in the world
and spend years of your life doting on his little furry head, and
then one day you get back from aerobics and there he is, panting
over the half eaten remains of some hapless handyman you left
fixing the tumble dryer.

Daisy: We don't have a tumble dryer.

Tim: You will, my friend. You will.

Daisy: Look, Tim, I know that I've been
insensitive, and I do appreciate that you are riddled with deep
seated pyschological disorders -

Tim: Thank you.

[While stoned]

Brian: That's chaos theory. The
belief that the future is in fact a mathematically predictable
preordained system.

Daisy: So somewhere out there in the
vastness of the unknown there's an... equation for predicting the
future?

Brian: An equation so complex as to utterly
defy possibility of comprehension by even the most brilliant human
mind, but an equation nonetheless.

Tim: [In dawning realization] Oh my
god...

Brian: What?

Daisy: What?

Tim: I've got some fucking Jaffa Cakes in my
coat pocket.

[They all cheer]

Tim: [Sings] Oh Mummy, Oh Daddy, Lets
all play Kabadi.

Tim: Mike, I'll see you back here at
twenty-two hundred hours. Everyone else, I'll see you back here at
ten.

Epiphanies
[1.6]

[After Mike's tragic story of an Eskimo roll that went
wrong]

Tim: So it wasn't so much an Eskimo roll, as a
case of rolling right Inuit.

[Mike stares, confused]

[After Mike is crying about being kicked out of the Rough
Ramblers]

Tim: Oh, Mike, they're not ready for you,
you're too good for them. You're a renegade, a soldier of
fortune.

Tim: Yeah, you're like Mr. T. but white and
hairy. And I feel sorry for anyone who says you're not.

Mike: I pity the fool.

Tim: I pity the fool.

Mike: [Mr. T voice] I ain't goin' on
no plane, sucka!

Tim: [irritable] Stop that.

[Preparing to go out clubbing]

Mike: I had to dress up as an elderly Israeli
woman once.

Tim: Really?

Mike: I didn't have to.

Tim: We should talk.

Tyres: Last night was an A-1, tip top clubbing
jam fair. It was a sandwich of fun on ecstacy bread, wrapped up in
a big bag like disco fudge. It doesn't get much better than that, I
just wish sometimes I could control these FOCKING MOOD SWINGS!
[calmer] So what did youse two friends do last night?

Mike: In 1994 while on weekend manoeuvres in
France, I commandeered a Chieftain tank without the permission of
my immediate superiors. I then attempted to invade Paris. However,
en route I stopped off at Disneyland Paris, or Eurodisney
as it was then called, and was subsequently apprehended on Space
Mountain.

TA Officer: Do you have any explanation as to
why you might have done this?

Mike: Well sir, at the time, I was suffering
from serious emotional problems that had clearly affected my
judgement. I had immersed myself in a fantasy world of my own
creation and as a result I became very insular and
uncommunicative.

TA Officer: Why do you think that was?

Mike: [Shrugs] I dunno.

[Mike is undertaking a Rorschach ink test; the first card
is very obviously a couple having sex]

Tim: I just had a moment of clarity, you know,
I woke up. It's like... you know when you have an orgasm on your
own? [Daisy looks increasingly disgusted and uncertain during
the following:] You know, you're sort of lying on the sofa
watching some porn movie you bought on a drunken lonely night in
Soho, and you're lying there and everything's going really great,
you're getting totally turned on by these absurdly graphic images,
everything seems so right, and suddenly - phht! Bingo! You wake up.
And you're lying there sweating, desperately looking for the tissue
which you know is still in your pocket, and the remote
control which is somewhere on the floor, and it's like
walking in on yourself, you know? It's just like "What you doing?"
That's how I felt tonight feeling my heart miss a beat everytime
the door opened. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Daisy: Well, that's... love, isn't it? Load of
old wank.

Tim: Life just isn't like the movies is it?
We're constantly led to believe in resolution in the establishment
of the ideal status quo, and it's just not true. Happy endings are
a myth. Designed to make us feel better about the fact that life is
just a thankless struggle.

Change
[2.2]

[To a Star Wars: The Phantom Menace fan]

Tim: You are so blind! You so do not
understand! You weren't there at the beginning. You don't know how
good it was! How important! This is it for you! This jumped-up
firework display of a toy advert! People like you make me sick!
What's wrong with you?! Now, I don't care if you've saved up all
your fifty 'p's, take your pocket money and get out!

[The little boy runs off, crying]

Tim: What a prick.

Bilbo Bagshot: I was like you once. Blonde
hair. Scraggly little beard. Childlike ears. Full of beans, and
spunk. I let my principles get in the way of things. I punched a
bloke in the face once for saying Hawk the Slayer was
rubbish.

Tim: Good for you.

Bilbo Bagshot: Yeah, thanks. But that's not
the point, Tim. The point is I was defending the fantasy genre with
terminal intensity, when what I should have said was "Dad, you're
right - but let's give Krull a try, and we'll discuss it later."
[pause]The Phantom
Menace was eighteen months ago, Tim!

Tim: I know Bilbo, but... it still hurts, you
know? I mean, that kid wanted a Jar Jar doll!

Bilbo: Kids like Jar Jar!

Tim: Why?

Bilbo Bagshot: What about the Ewoks eh? They
were rubbish. You don't complain about them.

Tim: Shhh...[places a finger over Daisy's
lips] Don't cheapen this. [moves the hair from her
face]

[Daisy and Tim move closer, apparently about to kiss, when
Mike opens the front door.]

Mike: [suspicious] What's going
on?

Tim: Uh, I was just coming - to the pub, with
you.

Mike: Yeah, I think we should take the Private
down to the shed.

[Mike goes to another room.]

Daisy: Hmm, what's up with Mike?

Tim: Nothing, he just, he usually likes to be
Philippa.

[Talking about the robot's axe, both covered in plasters
and bruises]

Tim: I think we should lose the axe.

Mike: I like the axe.

Tim: I like my face.

Mike: I like your face.

Tim: Let's keep the axe.

[Trying to figure out who destroyed 'Private
Iron']

Tim: I think I can guess.

Mike: This isn't the work of amateurs, Tim.
Private Iron was taken apart by someone who knew what they were
doing.

Tim: Right, and what happens now?

Mike: Well, if we can't fix him in time, we're
automatically disqualified. Runners-up go through.

Tim: And they are?

Mike: [Gasps, as if realizing] Dexter
and Cromwell!

Tim: Right.

Mike: ... So who did this?

Tim: They did!

[After having smashed Tim and Mike's robot]

Dexter: Ah, Michael. Heard about your robot.
Crying shame.

Tim: What do you mean, 'crying shame'? You're
the one that did it, you fucking... plum.

Robot Club Leader: Gentlemen, welcome to Robot
Club. The first rule of Robot Club is, you do not talk about about
Robot Club. The second rule of Robot Club is, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT
Ro… wait, I… got that wrong. [Unfolding a crumpled up piece of
paper and pushing up his glasses] The second rule is, no
smoking.

Gone
[2.5]

Mike: Right, I'm off for a night of
running about in the dark with a gun, so you've got to stay here
and be good for your Uncle Michael. [To Colin, while polishing
his glasses] So sit back, relax and get comfy, because you my
friend... are going nowhere. [Looks down to see that
Colin is gone; in a whimpering tone:] Oh, bollocks!

Leaves
[2.7]

[Tim, Mike and Brian are trying to persuade Marsha not to
sell the house]

Tim: Okay, listen. When we get there,
let me do the talking, okay? I am the only one here capable of
serious communication. [Instantly regretful] Sorry, sorry!
That sounded bad. I didn't mean to suggest that you're not good
communicators, okay Mike?

[Mike grunts non-verbally]

Tim: Brian?

[Brian whimpers non-verbally]

Tim: Marsha, they say the family of the
twenty-first century is made up of friends, not relatives. If
that's true, then you're the best auntie I've ever had.

Tim: Right, right, sorry. See, my mum used to
use "going next door" as a euphemism for being dead.

Mike: Whoa, hold on, does that mean my
rabbit's dead?

Tim: It's been eighteen years, Mike, where did
you think he was?

Mike: [whimpers] Next door!

Miscellaneous

Skip To The
End

[NOTE: Although 'Skip To The End' was primarily a
factually-based documentary concerning the making of and influence
of Spaced, it did contain a brief 'epilogue' to the series
with Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson in character]

[Daisy exits the house; Tim follows her a moment later with
a baby in his arms]