Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Give In To The Helplessness

It's easy to feel helpless at a time like this.

This is an unprecedented, unimaginable and extremely vulnerable time for everyone. It's a new and weird place for everyone. As positive as I try to be on a daily basis - I have to remember to give in to the helplessness too.

And you're probably thinking - that sounds like you're giving up.

Well, I'm not.

At the beginning of this quarantine, I was always finding the bright sides and ending every thought on a positive note as I usually try to do. While I do recommend this strategy most of the time, it can also be exhausting. Exhausting because while we try to navigate this time on the surface level, feelings of fear, anxiety, and worry are spiraling below that. It can be hard for our bodies and our minds to constantly overshadow these feelings.

This has made me tired. I'm tired and I'm only really in charge of myself - so I can only imagine what it feels like for someone who has a family to look out for and plan for. Upcoming weddings, showers, funerals, college educations, hospice, heartbreaks all of it. These can already be stressful situations and having them take place and be altered by a pandemic is a new level of unexpected frustration and sadness.

That is why I'm telling you that it's okay to give in to the helplessness. When we pretend to be okay, fake it till we make it, whatever you want to call it, we are not facing our feelings head-on. This makes us feel more isolated, tired, anxious and alone. Being able to let it out, acknowledge how you're feeling and it will be easier to move past.

I encourage you to confide in someone who you trust about how you're feeling. You don't have to go out and scream it from the rooftops, you don't have to tell all your friends or your neighbors - but try to open up to at least one person about how you're feeling. It's okay to be fearful or scared, you don't have to be brave all the time.

Another important aspect of how I think we'll get through this mentally - focus on positivity. Don't put others down and spread your negative thoughts. You do not need to put people down for their decisions. Everyone's quarantine and social distancing are going to look different.

Is it important for us to stay inside and do our part to prevent the spread of this - absolutely. Is it okay for you to be upset and disappointed that things in your life are altered because of this - absolutely. Do not let anyone tell you differently. So many things are being altered in our lives and while it's for good reason, it's okay to be bummed or disappointed. It's a fleeting feeling, which again is important to feel.

Give yourself more space and time than you usually would to process the normal things that happen in your life when you can. Be kind to yourself. We're going to get through this.