NBA Round-Up: Long Live The King*!

After the Miami Heat defeated the Boston Celtics to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals, LeBron James told reporters that he was sorry for the way “The Decision” happened. He claimed that he knew that the only way he could ever beat the Boston Celtics would be teaming up with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, and that’s why he chose Miami. Apparently he was so blinded with rage and ambition after he gave up lost to the Celtics in the playoffs last year that he was willing to forgo his future as the game’s biggest star to create a miniature Dream Team, which is fine because it’s certainly working out well. LeBron admitted that he’s been through a lot since that fateful TV programming blunder, and he is simply sorry for it.

Responded the entire city of Cleveland, “Aw, it’s cool, boo. We were just playing.”

Miami Heat 97, Boston Celtics 87 (Series: 4-1 MIA)

LeBron finally overcame his greatest nemesis, the Boston Celtics, blah blah blah. The Heat and their massive fan base celebrated an emotional Game 5 and semifinals victory over the Celtics as if they had won the NBA Finals last night, and that’s cool because I recognize the significance… to an extent. Look, the Heat won the series 4-1. That’s a blowout against a team like the Celtics. LeBron looked like he was exhausted and emotionally drained after Game 5. Again, 4-1. It’s not like this was a 7-game series with overtime every night. This was a 5-game series featuring some of the sloppiest basketball we’ve ever seen, and from Game 1 we knew that the Celtics were mismatched and desperately regretting that Kendrick Perkins trade. While the Chicago Bulls and Atlanta Hawks have yet to finish their series, let’s just keep in mind that Chicago owned Miami this season. The battle is far from over (but realistically, I can admit it’s pretty much over).

On a side note, as I forgot to tackle this the other day, how the hell was Pat Riley not the outright NBA Executive of the Year? I know that the Bulls had the best record in the NBA this year and that deserves applause, but Riley pulled off one of the biggest free agent coups in professional sports history. He convinced two superstars and Chris Bosh to take less money than they could have made anywhere else. He made the Atlanta Hawks look ridiculous for making Joe Johnson the highest paid free agent.

On the other hand, Gar Forman signed Carlos Boozer and hired Tom Thibodeau. That’s it. That’s all he did. Sure, Tom won Coach of the Year, but it’s pretty easy when you’re given an awesome team. And any moron could have drafted Derrick Rose, but that didn’t even happen this year. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking anything away from the great team that the Bulls have put together, but if Riley should share the honor with anyone, it should be Wade. (And yes, I know I probably just answered my own question.)

Oklahoma City Thunder 99, Memphis Grizzlies 72 (Series: 3-2 OKC)

Talk about running out of gas. Memphis, which was seemingly the hottest NBA team not displaying its talents on South Beach, laid a giant bronze turd last night. Marc “I can’t believe I’m the better brother in these NBA Playoffs” Gasol was the only Grizzlies player to score in double digits. Zach Randolph had just 9 points on a craptacular 3-9 shooting. Things weren’t much better for the Thunder, though, except for that whole winning the game thing. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook combined for 30 whopping points, and I know I’m being overly critical of a team that won (and that I picked to go to the Finals) but they dropped 70 the other night, so I expect some consistency from them. What’s that? That game went into triple overtime so they were clearly going to be tired? You people and your semantics.