"Well, when I went to the park the other day to play chess with my buddy, Billie Bob, he wasn't there. So I played with a new guy named Vlad who told me he is the school's interim assistant substitute vice principal in charge of their haunted house and other scary stuff. When he told me all the things they are doing at Wicklund I just had to see it for myself. So we took the number 13 bus, the old Black Cat special, out to Wicklund for a look-see."

"That's nice, dear."

"Hey, it was more than nice, it was fantastic! They've got the whole school made up like a haunted house. You know, doors that creak, window shutters that bang even when there is no wind, spider webs that get in your hair ..."

"But you don't have any hair, dear."

"Yeah, but if I did ... ! Plus, there are gaggles of third graders dressed like ghouls everywhere you look.

"And Mrs. S's entire first grade class can be heard humming the Monster Mash whenever they go out to recess. They look so cute in their zombie get-ups, and lurch around the tetherball court, growling 'My turn, me play now.'

"At one point I thought I saw your brother Willard there but it turned out to be three eighth graders rolling a large pumpkin into the auditorium.

"I'm told Mrs. B's second graders love the haunted house so much they sleep there at night."

"That sounds nice, dear," she said.

"You bet it is. I can hardly wait for Halloween ... I'm going back to Wicklund School!"