3.25.2007

As you’ve probably noticed, I haven’t been able to dedicate the time to Tabloid Whore lately as much as I have in the past. So, after much thought, 1,613 posts and 21 months slaving at the computer (in addition to having a full time job), I’ve decided it’s time for Tabloid Whore to come to an end. I'm just too busy to keep the blog up the way it deserves to be, plus, priorities have changed and I want to focus on some other things and pursue other fun writing projects. And seriously, how long do you think a person can write about celebrities getting divorced, this girl or that guy going into rehab, so and so having a baby but not marrying the daddy or this actress and that actress doing coke on “da club’s” toilet seat before they check themselves and realize that this is not what life is all about? Not to mention, after Britney shaved her head, everything else in gossipland became dull and just paled in comparison.

Thanks to all of you who were loyal readers of Tabloid Whore, those of you who posted comments faithfully (you know who you are!), and those of you who sent me emails over the past couple years saying such nice things. You guys made it fun and all worth it.

If you are looking for a couple fun blogs to visit that mix it up beyond all the repetitive gossip you can read everywhere else, please check out the sites of my two all time favorite bloggers, MK at POPBYTES and Distressed Jeans at CONVERSATIONS WITH FAMOUS WRITERS. Their writing and blogs have always inspired me and I am so lucky to now have them as friends.

3.23.2007

The official results of Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy are not set to be announced until Monday morning, but The National Enquirer and Star Magazine have joined news gathering forces and claimed to have cracked the case! Obviously we won't know for sure if this contributed to the death of Anna Nicole until we hear from the medical examiner on Monday, but this sounds quite intriguing. Plus, at the rate The National Enquirer and the mag's editor-in-chief David Perel have been breaking stories of late (so much that other websites steal 'em days later and claim them as their own), I wouldn't be surprised if The Enquirer and Star were dead on.Excerpts from their websites, The National Enquirer and Star report:

Anna Nicole Smith died with a toxic level of the sleeping medication chloral hydrate in her system.

The ENQUIRER and Star have also learned that Anna Nicole had a raging blood infection.

The infection was caused by an unsterilized needle and contributed to her death. The infection was so serious, it would have killed her if she had not overdosed.

The ENQUIRER learned that just before she left the Bahamas for Florida on February 5, three days before she died, Anna Nicole received an injection in her left buttock. Tests did not reveal what that substance was.

"As she boarded the plane for Miami, Anna Nicole developed a painful abscess at the site of the injection," said a source with knowledge of the case. "The needle wasn't sterile. The pain kept getting worse as the abscess got larger and larger very quickly."

Anna Nicole, unaware that her blood was being poisoned by infection, had also developed a second infection from a virulent form of norovirus, which causes intestinal problems.

It was at this point that Anna Nicole — and her entourage — made a fatal mistake. She refused to go to a hospital, a decision that would have saved her life. Instead, Anna's people gave her an ice bath to control the fever, administered the antibiotic ciprofloxacin by mouth and gave her an over-the-counter flu medicine.

On Wednesday, February 7, Anna seemed somewhat better, but she wasn't, the source said. "She was still vomiting and suffering diarrhea," said the source. "Again, she spent the whole day in bed, as the abscess continued to grow. She was in such pain, she just wanted to sleep."

And that's when the final fatal mistake was made. Sometime overnight on February 7, Anna ingested the sleeping medication chloral hydrate. The drug is extremely potent. The dose was too much — and in fact it was a toxic level, the ENQUIRER and Star have learned exclusively.

Preliminary analysis indicated the cause of death was systemic sepsis syndrome, a lethal blood infection. It was caused by the abscess of the left buttock.

Further investigation revealed the fatal level of chloral hydrate. Chloral hydrate can cause depression of respiration, especially in a person who is already sick because of an infection and dehydration and it can cause death within a relatively short period of time.

Anna Nicole also had scarring from numerous injections she got in the buttocks.

3.22.2007

"Everyone always wondered if Calvert was an actor playing a character, but in reality he was just himself -- a genuine, modest and nice man." - David Letterman

I am so sad!!! I just read that David Letterman announced on last night's show that Calvert DeForest (best known as Larry "Bud" Melman" died on Monday. He was 85 and apparently had been ill for a long time. Man, if you watched Letterman for years like I have, you will be very familiar with this guy. So sad. His shtick with Letterman brought many, many laughs over the years. Rest in peace my friend.Source: Contact Music

Not that it's any of our business, but all those rumors about Kevin Federline getting bank from his divorce settlement with Britney Spears are just that, rumors. It appears the "iron-clad" pre-nup that was signed before the couple married is standing strong, and Federline will end up with around $1 million and 50/50 custody of the kids when the divorce is settled. After Britney proves to have her act together, she reportedly will get full custody and Kevin will have visitation. Wait a minute. $1 million would still be bank to me. Everyone's making a big deal out of the money thing saying that he is ending up with nothing, but damn, boy just needs to cut down on the gold chains and forties, get a good investment banker and that mill could last him a very long time. Source: TMZ

Not to sound heartless, but the world of celebrity gossip has become so incredibly boring. These days, the headlines are either so and so entered rehab, so and so is pregnant (but not married) or this guy or that guy is getting a divorce. So much for creativity in Hollywood! Anyway, Jesse Metcalfe, the guy who played the gardener on Desperate Housewives that Eva Longoria's character was schtooping, is the latest of young Hollywood to enter rehab. His rep released the following statement:"On Monday, March 19, Jesse Metcalfe entered a rehab facility to deal with alcohol issues. He realized he had a problem and was anxious to deal with it immediately. The actor, best known as the hunky gardener on the ABC show 'Desperate Housewives' and the star of the film 'John Tucker Must Die,' hopes that the media will allow him the privacy to deal properly with his treatment."

Okay, maybe it's just me, but I find the line telling us he was the "hunky gardner, etc. etc." completely odd and out of place in the middle of a rehab statement. Sad that they have to remind us who the kid is.Source: Page Six

3.21.2007

I am beside myself with excitement over the return of The Shield April 3rd on FX!! It is one of my absolute favorite shows on television and all the people involved from the cast to the crew are incredibly talented, not to mention, so darn nice. Although I am still tragically scarred over the death of Lem in the season 5 finale, I can't wait to see if my man Vic Mackey finds out that his best buddy and Strike Team partner Shane was the one that did Lem in. Damn you Shane! For all you fans of The Shield, you must watch this fan created season 6 tribute video I came across on YouTube. It is intense and so well done, plus, gives you a sneak peak of Lem's funeral scenes, something you do not want to miss. Big thanks going out to MrMemphisDD for creating it! Plus, to check out FX's official "promosode" of The Shield Season 6, click HERE.

Hey, hey! Today we've got the return of the fabulous Celebrity Dirt updates brought to you by the awesome Jackson Blue! He's been sorely missed over here at Tabloid Whore and I'm so happy the Dirt has returned! Today Jackson brings you a Celebrity Dirt Short all about Pamela Anderson and her new vow of celibacy. Make sure to check out his website for more fun stuff and Celebrity Dirt Shorts.

Jane interview excerpt:I ask Avril about an old Playboy interview in which Deryck said, "When I'm coming down from coke, I can't be alone for some reason."

"He doesn't do drugs," Avril jumps in. "Clearly, he used to, because he talked about it, but I wouldn't be with someone who did, and I made that very clear to him when we first started dating. I've never done coke in my life, and I'm proud of that. Oh my God! I could never. I am 100 percent against drugs."

"Do you ever get paranoid that groupies are throwing themselves at Deryck when he's on tour?" I ask.

"No, we have a really good, strong relationship. There's a lot of trust. I know how much I mean to him, and..." Avril pauses, then smiles and says, "I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him."

Cute. But personally, I would just like to know how she deals with knowing he's been inside Paris Hilton.

So did anyone check out Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's new television show "Tori and Dean: Inn Love" on Oxygen Tuesday night? Yeah, the name of the show is lame and I probably could have done without learning that Tori had really bad gas during sex with Dean in her first trimester, but other than that, it's a really cute show and you should all check it out. On the subject of the new parents, The National Enquirer is exclusively reporting now that she has given birth to her son Liam, Tori is quickly going back to her cosmetic touch-ups including Botox and Restylane, something she gave up while pregnant. The only thing different is that this time around, Dean's getting some work too. Aww. How cute.

The Enquirer reports:New parents Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott plan on treating themselves to a post-baby gift – his-and-hers plastic surgery! After their 6-pound, 6-ounce son Liam Aaron arrived on March 13, sources say Tori made appointments for her and Dean to get facial touch-ups. “Tori and Dean are going in to get Botox injections. She’ll also have her lips plumped with Restylane,” an insider told the ENQUIRER. “While Tori usually gets injections every two months, she put them on hold after she got pregnant. But the last time she went in, she took Dean along for some Botox and made a convert out of him.” And Tori, who’s admitted to having breast implants and a nose job, has told pals that she may undergo yet another procedure called mesotherapy. The treatment uses combinations of different medications injected into the fat layer under the skin in small quantities. It was originally used to treat osteoarthritis and chronic pain, but doctors found it also helped reduce cellulite, wrinkles, hair loss and fat deposits. Mesotherapy injections typically contain a mix of vitamins, homeopathic medicines, herbal extracts and pharmaceuticals. “Although it’s still a controversial treatment, many people feel it’s potentially less dangerous than liposuction,” said the insider.Source: The National Enquirer

Okay, I am running out immediately to get the new issue of The National Enquirer simply because I am totally freaked by the creepy picture on the cover of Anna Nicole's supposed killer caught on camera and the story of how this murderer staged her death as an overdose. Speaking of her death, when will we get those autopsy and cause of death results already?? Also in this week's issue, just in time for her release from rehab, The Enquirer welcomes Britney Spears back with what looks to possibly be deets on those scandalous pictures being shopped around of her allegedly doing naughty, naughty things with those club dancers who she was caught on camera with changing into their bikinis. With a headline like "Cocaine and Sex" it looks like Ms. Spears may have borrowed more than skanky bathing suits and fishnets. Eech! Cover provided by The National Enquirer

3.20.2007

Oh I am sooo tired of this paternity thing with Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead that I just want it over. It looks like my wish might come soon since Vergie Arthur's lawyer reportedly is telling people that the judge in the Bahama's ordered today that a DNA test take place to determine who is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn. The samples are reportedly going to be given tomorrow and who knows? Maybe by the end of the week we will finally know who Dannielynn's biological father really is and everyone can move on.

This week's episode of The Hills begins over at Heidi and Lauren's, where Heidi just so matter-of-factly lets it be known to Lauren that Spencer asked her to move in with him. Lauren, having found out days ago, tells Heidi that she already heard the thrilling news through her true friend Lo. Heidi's face drops as she hears this and Lauren also does the perfect job of acting like she couldn't give a shit about Spencer asking Heidi to shack up with him. Lauren then calls Heidi out oh-so-delicately, telling her that since something like that is supposed to be a big deal, she was surprised she told Lo before her. Heidi then totally lies and gives Lauren some shoddy excuse like, "oh well, I just found out." Little does she know, Heidi also shared the news with blond girl at Bolthouse, the bathroom attendant at Area, her waxer AND the butcher over at Whole Foods. Heidi then says how sweet she thinks it is that Spencer wants them to live together, and Lauren kills Heidi's buzz right away by saying, "to be honest, it kind of freaks me out." Lauren is sure to add that if she was dating a guy and he asked her to move in with him after only a few months, she'd be like,"WOAHHHH, WHOAHHH, SLOW DOWWWN." She then makes sure to hold up both of her hands in a "back the hell up!" gesture for stronger emphasis while she says this. Heidi is thoroughly disappointed at Lauren's ability to crush her dreams and normally, I would feel bad for Heidi, but since I hate Spencer so much, she's shit out of luck. When Lauren asks her if she wants to move with Spencer, Heidi first humms and haaas and then tells Lauren she told Spencer she wasn't going to do it and that she is really happy she decided to stay there with Lauren. Again, Heidi's dreams are crushed when Lauren, instead of being all shits and giggles because Heidi chose to live with her instead of Spencer, says the last thing she wants for her 21st birthday is to spend it dealing with a new roommate. She then twists the knife in Heidi's back even more by comparing losing her as a roommate to losing a good pair of jeans. Sorry Heidi, but Lauren was right when she said, "a good pair of jeans, you hang on to them, no matter what."

Over at Audrina's, Heidi stops by to talk about the surprise party they are having for Lauren's 21st birthday. The two girls hatch this sinister plan to make Lauren think Heidi is flaking on a special birthday dinner that was supposed to be a strictly "Lauren and Heidi night." Okay, considering how fragile things are between those two and the venom that might spit out of Lauren's mouth once she believes Heidi is giving her the bump for a bigger name with a penis again, I don't know if this is the best idea. Audrina on the other hand, is probably secretly thrilled at the prospect of looking like the good guy in Lauren's eyes once again. Tee Hee! So the plans stands that Heidi will flake on Lauren for the birthday dinner, Lauren will of course call her second choice side kick Audrina and Audrina will get Lauren to go out, leading her to the secret surprise birthday destination at Hyde. Poor Audrina, after standing by Lauren while Heidi was caught up in Spencerville, she still comes in second fiddle.

Over at Teen Vogue, Lauren and the fabulous Whitney are once again sorting through clothes. Whitney brings up Lauren's birthday and asks her what she's going to do. Lauren tells her how she and Heidi have plans, but that she was hoping she would have some big sha-bang for her 21st birthday. Whitney, in all her wisdom, tells Lauren that she didn't do anything huge for her 21st birthday and that the fact that she turned 21 was good enough. I love Whitney and don't understand why Lauren doesn't spend more time with a smart girl like her instead of the knucklehead, drama filled friends she chooses to spend her time with. Oh well, to each his own. Whitney can be my friend instead.

Back over at Bolthouse, Heidi is on the phone with big toothed Spencer talking about Lauren's birthday party at Hyde. When blond Bolthouse co-worker hears that Spencer is on the line, she does another one of her classic reactions like last week and rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Okay, first of all, Heidi obviously learned nothing the past few weeks by inviting Spencer, Lauren's mortal enemy to her birthday party. To make matters worse, she then tells him to bring Brody, the guy who just macked on two-toned Jen (TTJ) and helped break up Lauren and TTJ's friendship. Dingbat! Ugh, next thing you know, who walks into Bolthouse, but TTJ and Heidi looks less than thrilled to see her. Shuffling her outside, Heidi tells TTJ she can't talk to her because she is, hello, working! Okay, what the hell is wrong with TTJ that she shows up at someones work in the middle of the day to chat because she hasn't seen them in a while? Who the hell does that? Granted, Heidi's job seems to primarily be crossing names off a clipboard, but still, after the age of 16, you don't pull shit like that. So, TTJ asks Heidi if she thinks Lauren is ready to talk to her and Heidi is just like, "Um, no TTJ, I don't think she wants to talk for a while." Heidi then tells TTJ that she broke the girlfriend code which is, "You don't hook up with your friend's exes or past hook-ups." Jen doesn't understand how one night with Brody could mess up their 15 years of friendship. Anyway, Heidi is really no help and keeps acting distracted, telling TTJ she is "busy! busy!" and must get back to work. TTJ finally leaves with her tail between her legs and without an invitation to Lauren's birthday party, boo hoo.

After work, Heidi goes home and straight up tells Lauren that Jen "Bunney" stopped by her work to talk. Heidi totally embellishes the whole thing, lying to Lauren by saying she told TTJ how inappropriate it was to come to her work and to never come back there again. The girls then talk about how desperate TTJ must be and how she must not have any other friends to chase after Lauren when Lauren is not ready to talk to her. Oh the humanity! Jen Bunney is sooo in the Bunney house.

Next up, it's the night of Lauren's birthday and Lauren and Heidi are getting all dolled up for their date together. Suddenly Heidi gets "the phonecall" and in a horrible acting job, pretends Spencer is on the other end of the phone and that he needs to see her immediately. She tells Lauren that Spencer needs to talk to her right now in person and that she will call her. At this point, Heidi is like practically out the door and Lauren is about to have a break down about what is taking place. She's having none of it and tells Heidi to stop leaving her for Spencer, but Heidi just books and says, "I'll call you." Like clockwork, Lauren calls Audrina to bitch about what a bad friend Heidi still is. Just as planned, Audrina tells Lauren she will take her out and of course, Lauren takes the bait.

At the birthday party, the usual crowd is there, plus my two favorites, Whitney and Lo. Thankfully, Lo looks more like herself than she did last week. Audrina and Lauren walk in to hoots and hollers and finally, Lauren forgets that she was mad at Heidi and is finally, filled with shits and giggles. She then proceeds to flirt with Brody, choosing not to hold any of the blame for kissing TTJ on him and instead, drunkingly asks him if he yelled "Happy Birthday!!!" with everyone else when she walked in the door. Ugh, stupid girl. As the two get to talking more, Brody starts playing with fire and asks Lauren if she has talked to TTJ lately. What a cocky son of a bitch. The conversation then turns to how much Lauren now hates TTJ and that she doesn't speak to her anymore. Lauren then teases us again by telling Brody TTJ was also the reason why she and Lo didn't talk for two years, but still doesn't spill any more dirt as to exactly why. Okay, there must be someone out there reading this recap who knows someone that knows someone who knows this secret, so please, find it out for me and then post it in the comments because I can't stand it anymore. One thing is for sure, I'm glad my girls Lo and Lauren are friends again and who the hell cares about TTJ getting the dump. So after all the Brody Jenner nonsense, it's time for a birthday toast to Lauren. Just take a guess who of all people gives the toast to Lauren? Yep. Her mortal enemy Spencer. The dude must have been practicing it in front of the mirror for days to ensure prime camera time, and it went something like this: "Heidi the love of my life (as long as Playmates aren't around), loves Lauren more than anything in the world (except when she's agreeing with me about what an unreasonable bitch she is being to me), so that makes Lauren an amazing person (at least for as long as I'm being filmed for this toast). We don't see eye to eye (because Lauren knows the truth that I am sleazy), but they do (on clothes and hand bags). So at the end of the day (when I am trying to get Heidi to have sex with me), we all see eye to eye. Cheers (Bitch!)."

The next day, Lauren and Brody are out to lunch together. After Lauren makes fun of Spencer's birthday toast, Brody brings up TTJ again. Actually, they keep referring to her by her full name, "Jen Bunney." Who does that? Lauren tells Brody how Jen thought the two of them would friends again by her birthday and Lauren puts on her tough act for Brody saying something like, "Yeah, right, don't come to my birthday! It's myyyy birthday, don't come, for realz! I hate you!" She then tries to make Brody regret his night with The Bunney even more by telling him that people don't like TTJ because she has had a lot of problems with her female friends because she hooks up with their sloppy seconds and thirds, blah, blah, blah and then lies about it. Brody does some annoying reaction where he jokingly tries to act all innocent, mocking the fact that he in fact did that to Lauren too by hooking up with TTJ and looks up to the sky saying "oh really?" At this point, I just want to slap the guy. She tells Brody that Jen has a history of pulling stuff like this on her friends and we learn that TTJ made out with Jason the same night Lauren kissed him for the first time. Whore.

Now things get good. That evening, Lauren is all glowing over her lunch date with Brody and the doorbell to her apartment rings. She opens the door and it's TTJ, Jen Bunney standing outside. TTJ looks at Lauren and asks her if she can come in to talk about everything. Lauren must have been expecting TTJ because she just lets her in the door without slapping her or calling her a bitch or anything. Straight up, Lauren tells TTJ to say whatever she wants to say because by the way she is stalking she and her friends, she obviously needs to say something. TTJ tells Lauren that she thinks that everything got blown out of proportion, to where Lauren quickly shoots her down saying "I don't feel that way" and "that's because it didn't happen to you!" THEN, TTJ throws out that ridiculous line, usually reserved for a shitty guy excuse and tells Lauren, "what you don't understand is that I never really meant to hurt you." Don't you just love when people say that? Lauren is still having none of TTJ and tells her that she wasn't thinking of her at all because she was only thinking of her two-toned self and probably how cute she'd look on camera with "the Brody Jenner." After TTJ tries to make more excuses, Lauren tells her that she is pissed because TTJ did something really shady behind her back and that she is evil and conniving for macking on Brody, not because she liked him, but because he was the first guy since Jason she was able to have a crush on. At this point, TTJ has her hands covering her mouth and she looks as though she is trying not to laugh. She tells Lauren that it was a mistake and that she "messed up, one night." Lauren continues to ream TTJ about what a shitty friend she is and tells her that she screws up her friendships because of guys. She then brings up TTJ playing the whore and making out with Jason back in the day. TTJ calls the incident with Jason a joke and tells Lauren she shouldn't even "go there." Lauren tells TTJ that she has been burned by so many friends lately and has every reason not to trust her sorry ass anymore. Then, looking like she will get her toenails pulled out if she doesn't say it, TTJ tersely tells Lauren, "I'm sorry I hurt you," and Lauren answers back even more tersely, "I appreciate that, thank you." Then Jen puts in a final plea asking Lauren, "so there's nothing I can do, nothing I can say?" and Lauren quickly answers "NO. You've done and said enough." After that, there is complete silence and Lauren gets off the couch and shows TTJ the door. As she is leaving, TTJ tells Lauren, "I'll let you call me when you're ready." And with that, Lauren slams the door hard on TTJ's ass without a care in the world.

Oh that charming JT and his grumpy little mug are still popping up everywhere. This time around it's in the April issue of Details magazine which goes on sale in NY/LA today and nationwide next Tuesday, March 27th.

Here's a samplin' of what he had to say this time around and you can also check out the entire interview HERE.

§On the tabloids: "I despise what they do. They create soap operas out of people's lives. [Cameron and I] had our thing, and it's over. They edit that stuff like MTV edits reality shows. It's a spin game, and I choose not to take part in it."

§On being considered the New King of Pop: "I tried so hard to be an R&B artist [with first solo album Justified] and it was the pop album of the year, and I was like, 'Fuck. That's the last thing I wanted but I was like, 'So everyone considers me a pop artist? Well, fuck it. I'm going to do whatever I want to do."

§On surviving the boy-band apocalypse and becoming a man: "I could give you a bunch of analogies about why I'm still around that would sound like hippie self-help bullshit. 'I saw an opportunity and I took it?' Fuck you. Sure, there's a lot of luck involved. But on some level I have to believe in my ability. And I'm not apologizing to anyone. I worked fucking hard to get here."

§On being used by the Grammys for ratings: "I'm the nice guy who follows through on the things he commits to. But I don't know if I'll be going through that sort of thing again. I feel like the Grammys used me for ratings. And look at it-they were up 18 percent."

Okay, for those of you who thought Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee were getting back together because some paparazzi recently caught them smooching, don't get your hopes up. Yeah, Pamela and Tommy look like they will aways have a connection, but many of us know, sometimes that is not enough to have a satisfying relationship. For now, she's happy working taking care of her boys and who can fault the lady for that?Pammy addressed the recent "are-they-back-together?" rumors on her website diary:

"Just to catch up - it’s been a rough month - I'm amazed at people's opinion about my relationships. We all learn and grow every day - my biggest concern has always been my boys - they are completely well adjusted and happy and thriving - their Dad has been in their lives in a productive but small way over the years - I've tried to remarry - move on - like any other single mom I've tried to create a healthy example for my kids always, that's why I realized early on that we are better off on our own right now and work on our friendship if nothing else with their father who's admittedly made mistakes but adores us. People do need time to grow up sometimes. I have faith that we’re heading in the right direction. I'm really not interested in bringing any other men into our lives. I have plenty of friends and acquaintances who struggle with much worse and have really seen how I've done a good job by sheltering my kids and kept them out of the craziness - it's my most important job, its spending most my time with them and growing up myself in a bizarre existence...full of strangers who judge."

3.16.2007

Just a couple week's ago I was talking with one of my friends about David Lynch's TV show Twin Peaks and how it sucked that the second season never came out on DVD. Next thing you know, an email arrived about Paramount Home Entertainment's upcoming April 3rd DVD release of Twin Peaks season 2! I can't believe that this awesome show originally aired in 1990 (yes, that's 17 years ago, oh my!), so some of you probably have never even heard of it, watched it, let alone were toddlers when it was on television. Lucky you, because now you can experience for the first time in it's entirety, the wonderfully, weird and often freakin' scary town that was Twin Peaks.

The story of Twin Peaks revolves around the mysterious murder of the town's high school beauty, Laura Palmer (played by Sheryl Lee), whose dead body was discovered washed up from the river naked and wrapped in plastic. Kyle McLaughlin plays Agent Dale Cooper, who comes to the small fictional Northeast Washington town of Twin Peaks to help solve her murder. During his journey, he uncovers dark, twisted secrets about Laura's family, friends and the town itself. Complete with a dancing midget, a Log Lady, a Giant with secret clues, damn good cups of coffee and a horrifying guy named BOB, all set to Angelo Badalamenti's haunting musical score, Twin Peaks brings you television as you've never seen it before.

Twin Peaks--The Complete Second Season features a six-disc set containing all twenty-two newly remastered high definition episodes and is loaded with new in-depth interviews, audio commentaries, featurettes and introductions. In stores April 3rd, make sure not to miss it!

Check it out! The U.S. Postal Service and Lucas Films, Ltd. have teamed up to promote a new stamp commemorating the upcoming 30th anniversary of Star Wars. Debuting today, approximately 400 of U.S. Postal Service mailboxes across the country have been wrapped to look like R2-D2 from Star Wars. The Star Wars commemorative stamp is set to be revealed on March 28th.

Okay, first off, I never thought a mailbox could be so darn cute and I want one. Seriously though, even though it's sooo against the law, those suckers are going to be stolen all over the place and popping up in the homes of Star Wars geeks everywhere! Loves it!Source: NBC4 , USPS-Star Wars

Angelina Jolie says now that little Pax Thien has joined her family and the Jolie-Pitt child count is up to four, she will take a break from movies be a stay at home mom for the time being. In an interview with the Ho Chi Minh City Law newspaper, as translated by the Associated Press, Jolie said, "I will stay at home to help Pax adjust to his new life. I have four children and caring for them is the most important thing for me at the moment. I am very proud and happy to be their mother."

Jolie also commented on the media attention surrounding her most recent adoption:"Photographs and press coverage will make him upset. I'm very worried about that. I would like to say I'm sorry for bringing this into Pax's life."

Huh, didn't see this one coming! Larry Birkhead and Debra Opri, the attorney representing his paternity case in California, have parted ways. The news came today when Opri released the following statement:

"Larry Birkhead and I have terminated our attorney-client relationship effective immediately. I wish Larry the very best of luck in his continuing efforts to prove that he is Dannielynn's biological father. My prayers will be with Larry and Dannielynn always."

Birkhead is in the Bahamas today at a custody hearing that will hopefully determine who is the biological father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn. He is being represented by a Bahamian attorney. Obviously, there is more to the story about Opri and Birkhead terminating their relationship as she tells told the TV show Extra:

"I can't represent a client who has a middle man by the name of Howard K. Stern. I feel very comfortable in my decision, and I wish Larry the best. But I am worried about him."

"I just don't like the influence of this middle man, Howard K. Stern, and it was just too much to handle. I couldn't continue with the way things were going."

3.15.2007

The 5th season of The Simple Life is currently in production and as you may have heard, Nicole Richie was rushed to the hospital a couple weeks ago after complaining of dizzyness and was treated for dehydration. She was given intravenous fluids for 15 minutes and then released. Nice to know she is keeping up with her healthy diet. Anyway, so far it's only been reported that Nicole and Paris Hilton will be camp counselors for the 5th season of their trainwreck show, but now, The National Enquirer revealed in this week's issue exactly what kind of camp the girls are working at. According to The Enquirer, Nicole and Paris will be counselors during "fat camp" week at Camp JCA Shalom in Malibu, CA. You heard me.

Considering she last checked in weighing somewhere in the range of 88 lbs, I'm sure this idea to have Richie counsel kids that need to lose a few pounds is a pathetic attempt at irony. Forget irony, it's more annoying that anything else. It's bad enough today's youth has to be subjected to these horrible, skank girls as role models on every cover of every magazine. Now, to make matters worse, the poor, fat kiddies who need to go to a camp to lose weight are going to be counseled by one girl who is a former drug addict and alleged anorexic and the other being an alleged cocaine user with the herpes? Gross. Saddest thing about it is that the way these girls have acted towards people on their show in the past, they will probably be laughing and making jokes about all of these children behind their backs at the end of the day.Source: National Enquirer

Last week, Hello! magazine had some pictures of Elizabeth Hurley's wedding. Here she is again on this week's cover of the Canadian edition of Hello! at another one of her ceremonies. This time it looks like she had an Indian one in honor of her husband. So many weddings. I don't get it. Plus, she's still dressing her son in clothes that one day will get him beat up on the playground for.Source: Hello! Canada

Check out this video of a Carmen Electra crash and burn while walking down a runway at a Max Factor event. If watching the fabulous Carmen totally bite dust wasn't bad enough, Days of Our Lives star Allison Sweeney comes out on stage and also goes down for the count. Seriously, it looks painful. You know some bitter production hand probably greazzed up the runway and is laughing his ass off.

Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, "Prince" Frederick Von Anhalt, the douchebag who is claiming he very well could be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynne, is suing Fox and O'Reilly Factor host Bill O'Reilly for defamation and $10 million dollars. Back in February, when Von Anhalt was going on every and any television and radio show that would let him spew his nonsense, O'Reilly commented on the situation by calling him a "fraud." Now Zsa Zsa's husband has filed a lawsuit over the comment because he claims he is now gets dirty looks and snide comments from strangers when he goes into the grocery store. "They say, 'Look, here comes the fraud,"' he said. "I get lots of e-mails from people bad-mouthing me. It's very embarrassing." Yes, and I'm sure it's all Bill O'Reilly's fault. How sad. First this fake prince is running around, going on TV telling everyone that he had a decade long affair with Anna Nicole Smith, and now that the spotlight is off of him, he tries to get back in it by suing Bill. No one has heard from or seen Zsa Zsa in ages, it makes you wonder what kind of state she is in while her husband prances around on television with tales of an affair and now probably spending her money on this lawsuit. Lame!Source: CBS

It's officialllllll! Angelina Jolie & Maddox have picked up the newest member of the Jolie-Pitt family. Little 3 year old Pax Thien (pictured above), wearing brand new clothes, was greeted by his new mother & brother Thursday morning. His first name Pax means "peace" in Latin and Thien means "sky" in Vietnamese. Jolie reportedly renamed the child who has so far been referred to at the orphanage as Pham Quang Sang. Pax was reported to be crying when his new mommy approached him with her burly bodyguards, but Angelina soon greeted the little fellow with a hug and a kiss and everything was okay. Maddox apparently held his little brother's hand so he wouldn't be scared. Yeah, right. Pax was probably crying because Maddox probably greeted him with a raspberry and a warning that no matter how new and cute he was, Maddox will always be king. To no surprise, the group was greeted by psycho, crazy paparazzi as they left the orphanage and entered their vehicle. The razzi's reportedly attacked the car by pounding on it and throwing things underneath. Good Lord, that little boy must have been terrified. Although we must blame the incident on the paparazzi and not Angelina, welcome to your new life kiddo.Source: AP

3.14.2007

The National Enquirer broke the news in their latest issue about Britney Spears and her new rumored "rehab romance" with Jason Filyaw of the band RIVA (never heard of them, checked out the music on their MySpace, not terribly impressed). Now TMZ is talking to the guy to find out if their is any truth to the rumors that he is romancing Ms. Spears. He reportedly wont confirm or deny he is involved with her (dead giveaway) and told TMZ, "I love her, I support her 100% and we are close."

The pair apparently are old friends and have known each other since 2003. They hadn't seen each other in a while, but ran into one another at an AA meeting a few weeks back. Hey, isn't one of the rules of AA something like you are not supposed to get romantically involved with anyone during your recovery? One thing Filyaw did reveal is that he is "helping Britney with the spiritually "deep" part of her recovery." If that is true, that is great, but seriously, lets hope that's the only thing dude is getting deep into. Girlfriend needs to lay off the men for a while and focus on getting healthy and being okay with not having a man!

Synopsis:WAITRESS is the story of one woman trapped in a life from which she dreams of escape. Jenna's (Russell) secret ambition is to save enough money from her waitressing job to leave her overbearing and controlling husband (Sisto). Jenna is a sharp, sassy woman with a gift for making unusual pies whose recipes are inspired by the trials, tribulations and circumstances of her life. An unwanted pregnancy changes the course of events giving her an unexpected confidence via letters to her unborn baby.

The infamous O.J. Simpson book, "If I did It," whose publication was cancelled before it found it's way to bookshelves, just might be that much closer to seeing the light of day. At the request of Fred Goldman, a Los Angeles County Superior Court judge ordered on Tuesday that rights to the book be auctioned off to help satisfy the $33.5 million civil judgement against Simpson for the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Although Goldman does not wish to see the book published, he took this to court because the rights to "If I Did It" are one of the few things Simpson has assets to and and Goldman doesn't want him to ever get his hands on a penny of it. Goldman's lawyer, David Cook, said, "The Goldman's were horrified as to the content, but the real horror was that Simpson was profiting." "O.J. is now on the block. On the right hand we get to sell the book, and on the left we get the money."

Congrats going out to Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott on the birth of their baby boy, Liam Aaron Spelling. Liam came into the world on Tuesday and guess who was there to welcome him into the world? Grandma Candy! Yes, that's right, Tori's estranged mother Candy was at the hospital for the birth and this can only be a sign of she and her daughter's efforts to reconcile their relationship. In an interview with PEOPLE, Candy told the magazine, "Words can't describe the joy and elation I feel at this truly happy event." "I am looking forward to doting on my new little grandson and all the memorable fun that comes with it." After the death of Tori's father Aaron Spelling, lets hope that Tori and Candy's relationship continues to heal. Now with the birth of her baby, Tori should only be experiencing the happiness (and sleepless nights) that come along with being a new mother, not the stress of family feuds.

Oooooh! Lotsa, lotsa good stuff going down this week in The Enquirer. What, oh what could be the secret that is "tearing Brad and Angelina apart" and who is accusing who of cheating? You know what people say, if you end up with someone as a result of an affair you had, you will always have a fear they will do the same thing to you while you are with them. Hmmm....also this week in The Enquirer, it looks like Britney may have found love in rehab, although the fellow that they have pictured on the cover does not look like her type. Plus, just when you thought it was almost over, they've got more news on the never-ending demise of Anna Nicole Smith. And lastly, The Enquirer has all the dirt on an American Idol "sexual assault cover-up" (oh the humanity!) which I have a feeling will be all about the icky lawsuit that has surfaced about past contestant Mario Vasquez and the alleged scandalous reason why he abruptly left Idol during his height of his popularity. Yikes.

3.13.2007

Those were the infamous words spoken today by Larry Birkhead's lawyer, Debra Opri, after the pair went back to court in Los Angeles, California, to continue their on-going paternity battle of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn. Birkhead asked a judge to order Howard K. Stern to come back to California and take the test determining who is the real daddy of the 6 month old baby. According to Fox News, Opri said the judge "refused to make Stern a part of the paternity court action but said he would review he matter in two weeks after he considers the law more closely." Opri, never one to mince words, spoke to the press after the court hearing. "We are confident that Howard K. Stern will be submitting to a DNA test here." "Howard K. Stern cannot avoid this jurisdiction. If he wants to be the father, he has to put up or shut up. He can't hide behind this fake birth certificate." I just love how subtle she is, don't you?

In the meantime, Birkhead said he was busy building a nursery for Dannielynn and that his meeting the baby in the Bahamas was one of the greatest moments in his life. He added, "That was my delivery room just to get to meet her."Source: Fox News

It looks like Angelina Jolie will get her greazy little hands on the Vietnamese child she is hoping to adopt, very, very, soon. Reports say that her application is "being processed quickly," and Vu Duc Long, Director of Vietnam's International Adoption Department, said that the child should be added to Angie's global brood by the end of the month. Jolie is adopting a 3 1/2 year old boy, who was abandoned shortly after birth. The kid reportedly likes to play soccer (I'm sure one of Maddox's requirements for a baby brother) and is shy. For those of you who are annoyed that it looks like Jolie is getting a speedy adoption, Long said Jolie's is being processed more quickly because she has selected a boy at the Tam Binh Orphan Sponsor Center already. He added,"Moreover, a celebrated person is certainly treated a little bit different from others." Uh huh. Now Jolie and Pitt will have 4 kids, ages 5 and under. That's a lot of kids.

Jolie reportedly will receive a notice next month telling her she can get the child. After that, she has 3 months to pick him up. When she does, there reportedly will be a ceremony in HCM City where she will be given the boy. A ceremony?? I hope that is common practice.Source: Fox News , Vietnam Net Bridge

UPDATE: Angelina and Maddox have arrived in Vietnam to pick up the little boy. That was fast! Very cute that Maddox went along to welcome his new kid brother. Read about it HERE.

A big fight broke out yesterday in Israel over Leonardo Di Caprio, 32, and his Israeli model girlfriend, Bar Refaeli, 21. The couple, who has been dating for a year, were in Jerusalem touring the tunnels of the Western Wall when madness ensued between paparazzi and Leo's bodyguards. Apparently Leo and the model girlfriend were being shuffled away somewhere and the 'razzi's went nuts, then the bodyguards went nuts, punches were thrown all over the place, people claimed to be injured, equipment was damaged and Leo's bodyguards ended up being taken in for questioning. TMZ is reporting that after the bodyguards were questioned, several 30-day restraining orders were issued on the paparazzi. Thankfully, Leo and his model girlfriend did not receive any scratches during the incident. To be honest, I liked him when he played the kid with "special needs" in the movie "What's Eating Gilbert Grape," but other than that, I could care less about the guy. Maybe it's his reputation that he only dates models. I can hear it now, "Oh Leo, your so waaaahnnndahful!" How lame.Source: The Rock Radio , TMZ

This week's episode of The Hills starts off with Lauren and her new BFF Audrina, doing some shopping at Tracy Ross. Since this was filmed a few months ago, and is the New Years episode, the girls are discussing who will be going out that night to celebrate. Lauren tells Audrina that she invited her old friends from Laguna Jill (who?), Natania (who? who?) and Lo (hooooray!). If anyone watched Laguna Beach, you know that Lo rocks and her personality and the comments that come out of her mouth are sorely missed on The Hills. There is no one else like Lo and when Audrina asks Lauren if she is "anything like two-toned Jen," Lauren, queen of fabulous expressions, gets a repulsed, "are you f'ing kidding me?" look across her face. Then she reveals that one of the reasons she and Lo got in a big fight and didn't talk over the past couple years "was because of Jen." Agh! Damn you two-toned Jen! Unfortunately, Lauren does not shell out more information as to what exactly went wrong between them and I am dying to know. Whatever it is, I'm just happy that Lauren and Jen are now in a fight and that Lo will be the one showing up for New Years and not TTJ. Hoorah! Lauren then tells Audrina that she expects Heidi will be with Spencer all New Years Eve and that he was banned from the limo the girls are taking. Lauren also adds that she hopes this New Years will be better than last New Years when meathead Jason was all allegedly drunk and coked up and totally ruined her night.

Next up, Lauren and Audrina are watching darling Whitney play baseball. After the obligatory "hitting the ball with the bat super far the way only Whitney could do" for the cameras, she sits down to talk to the girls about New Years Eve. Whitney then reveals that last year was her "sluttiest New Years ever" because she says she kissed like three guys in one night. Oh Whitney, if only sluts could be more like you. Lauren then tells the girls she was irked when she asked Heidi about New Years and her response was, "I don't know, what are you doing?" Because, like before, it would automatically be assumed that Heidi and Lauren would be spending New Years together. That tool Spencer ruins everything!

Ugh, speaking of Spencer, we next see the most annoying couple on the planet Earth shopping at Milk for a New Years outfit for Heidi. They start to discuss their plans for the evening and Heidi tells Spencer that the two of them will go out to dinner alone and then meet up with the rest of the gang at Area. Seriously, I know Heidi works there and all, but you would think they would get tired of that place. Anyway, when Spencer finds out Lauren will be there, he tells Heidi adamantly, "I am DONE hanging out with Lauren!" Surprisingly, Heidi tells Spencer that she is really looking forward to hanging out with Lauren on New Years, and that she wants to be with her two favorite people, Lauren and her poopie. Just kidding, Heidi wants to be with Lauren and Spencer. On second thought, what the hell ever happened to the poopie Bella? Unless she has turned into the cat Lauren throws across the room every time it jumps on the couch, Bella certainly has not been seen around Hillside Villas. Do you think Jordan got the poopie when he and Heidi broke up last year? Huh. Okay, even though pondering about what happened to the poopie is much more entertaining, back to Spencer...

As the two of them continue to talk in the clothes store, Spencer tells Heidi he has some big news. He then asks her what would she think if he moved out of his condo and got a house for himself and "Princess Heidi?" At this moment, Spencer has his arms wrapped around Heidi and is rocking her back and forth, to where Heidi's arms are up against his chest, practically pushing him away. Yuck. Someone call a body language expert in here puhlease. Heidi actually looks terrified at the thought of moving in with that ass Spencer, but tells him, "Obviously, I would love to move in with you, but I made a commitment to live with her (Lauren) and I'm trying to work things out, I feel like that would just make things worse." Upon hearing this from Heidi, Spencer is not pleased and tells Heidi that her answer was really annoying and that it doesn't help their relationship. Then Spencer tries to shove a knife in Heidi's stomach by telling her that she and Lauren are not best friends anymore and that Lauren spends all her time now with Audrina. Dick.

Over at the Warrenn Tricomi Salon, Lauren is getting her hair done all pretty and Heidi and Audrina are also there. Once again, everyone is going over the New Years plans. Lauren announces that she is bringing some guy from Colorado that she met a couple nights before as her date. She adds that she asked him out, she called him, she's picking him up and that she made all the moves on this fellow. She also said that he is not her usual type. Huh, I guess that means he must be sober? Anyway, Heidi then asks what Lauren's New Year's resolution is and Lauren tells her that she and Audrina are going to take kickboxing. Upon hearing this, Heidi looks longingly at herself in the mirror, probably thinking how Spencer was sooo right about her and Lauren not being "best friends" anymore. Boo hoo. Then Lauren starts laying it on a bit thick, flirting with Audrina in front of Heidi about how the two of them are going to have "twin hair" for the night and order pizza and drink champagne. Heidi can take no more of this and bolts, telling the girls she will see them later that night at Area.

That night, Heidi and Spencer go to Dolce *shocker* for New Years Eve dinner. Between Geisha House, Les Deux and now Dolce, you would think they are members of the Mike Boogie fan club. On second thought, I am sure Spencer is a card carrying member. Spencer tells Heidi that he wishes they could both just go home after dinner for a little bom-chicka-bom-bom. Heidi agrees with him and Spencer goes, "Oh, why can't we? Oh that's right, because you have another boyfriend named Lauren Conrad that we have to meet at da club!" I'm sorry, but I am so over all this "club" lingo. The only person who can say "I have to go to the club" and not sound like an idiot is Ricky Ricardo. Enough. Heidi is now gritting her teeth and is not amused with Spencer's smart ass comments about Lauren and when he asks her if she has "given any thought to his offer?" Heidi tells Spencer she would like to live with him sometime in the next couple years, but moving out right now would compromise her friendship with Lauren. Spencer at this point is seething with jealousy and frustratingly asks Heidi, "why can't Lauren just live with someone like Audrina????!!" Not very smooth Spencer, not very smooth.

Next we are back at the Hillside Villas, where finally, we see the return of Lo! For some reason, Lo looks like a 40 year old housewife, but I will blame it on the awful red lipstick she was wearing and the matronly way she wore her hair. Other than that, it's great to see her again. Lo asks Lauren where the hell Heidi is and Lauren tells her she is with Spencer. Lo then tells the girls how much she loves Heidi and how sweet she thinks she is, but adds that she heard "Spencer was an (and says in a whispered tone) *ass!*" And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we love Lo.Over at Area, the girls arrive and as Spencer and Heidi pull up we hear him begging her again to not go in to da club. Lauren is chatting with her Colorado boy who is a very tall, cute fellow with a curly, shaggy mop. And yeah, he seems nothing like Jason. Then Spencer and Heidi walk in and as always, Heidi has to do her annoying yell whenever she enters into da club and sees her friends. Lauren points out the evil Spencer to Lo and as she looks at him, she does the obligatory, "I'm a good friend, so I will give him a dirty look for you" thing.

Later, when Heidi and Lo are talking, Heidi asks her, "my boyfriends cute, right?" Lo, of course has to tell her, "he's totally cute!" because, c'mon, what is she going to say? "No, Heidi. Your boyfriend is not cute. He is a big veneer toothed, annoying, homeless man's Matthew McConaughey wanna-be?" Although she hasn't mentioned it to Lauren yet, Heidi feels free to tell Lo that her cute boyfriend also wants her to move in with him. The two girls then pow wow about what a serious move that would be. Next thing you know, the clock strikes twelve and as Lauren is shoving her tongue down mop-heads throat and everyone is twirling sparklers, Heidi stands alone, looking on at her old friends enjoying their New Years without her. Then, when everyone walks out of da club at the end of the night, Lauren, Mop head, Lo and Audrina all take off without saying goodbye to Heidi. Of Course, Spencer points this out to Heidi immediately and tells her how horrible her friends are. Oh well Heidi, sucks to be you. Where was TTJ tonight by the way? Hopefully home in tears with a carton of chunky monkey! Mwahahaha!

A couple days later over at the Bolthouse offices, Heidi and blond Bolthouse girl are tackling the new task of unstuffing envelopes instead of stuffing them. Good to know those girls know how to do something more than just work a clip board. Anyway, Heidi starts whining about how her New Years kind of sucked because she wanted to spend it with Lauren, but Lauren basically blew her off and barely acted like she was there. Blond girl tells Heidi that it probably happened because the girls probably didn't even want Spencer there. Ha. Heidi was not pleased. She then proceeds to tell blond girl how Spencer asked her to move in with him, blah, blah, blah. Then, in a classic move, when Heidi tells her how Spencer said "everyday I love you more," blond girl looks at the camera and rolls her eyes. I love blond girl! Then Heidi earns her dingbat title even more by saying how she has never been in love like this before. Puke.

Next we see Whitney and Lauren having coffee and Whitney asks Lauren how her New Years was. Lauren tells her about mop head and how she was happy that she could use him up for a New Year's kiss, but part of his appeal is that he can now "go away" because he lives out of town. Then the girls talk more about Heidi and how they are both shocked she and Spencer are still together. Yeah, join the club sweetheart.

Heidi and Spencer are now out to dinner together at I Cugini, a very delicious restaurant in Santa Monica that has now been tainted because Spennnncer has entered the establishment. Spencer starts to lay in to Heidi about how much baggage she has because of her friends (can we say emotionally abusive anyone?). He then tells her that he thinks it's "really rude" that she chooses Lauren over him and Heidi tells him that she thinks it's "really rude that he makes her choose." Although I find these two incredibly annoying, I like how Heidi seems to be standing up to Spencer's bullshit comments more. He then has the nerve to say that Heidi is choosing to live with someone who "abandons her in front of clubs." Huh. If only Heidi would have just blurted out, "Playboy girls!" that would have shut him up good. By the end of the conversation, Heidi basically alludes to the fact that she is going to move in with Spencer and now, will have to break it to Lauren. Sooo much for standing up to Spencer!

Next up at Cafe Sushi, Lauren and Lo are having dinner and in a charming little moment between friends, Lo is eating her sushi and practically chokes from ginger juice going up her nose. They start talking about New Years and how they heard two-toned Jen was planning to go to Area that night, but probably ended up not going because she realized she didn't have anymore friendships to destroy. Ouch! Lo then tells Lauren how happy she is to be back in Los Angeles (woohoo!) and the girls say they would much rather have a small group of real friends then a whole lot of fake friends. THEN, Lo innocently drops a bombshell on Lauren when she asks her, "who is moving into your apartment when Heidi moves in with Spencer?" (Cross fingers that it will be Lo). Upon hearing this, Lauren freezes with edamame stuck in her mouth and asks Lo, "Did she tell you that??" Lo tells her that Heidi came up to her on New Years and told her about the moving in with Spencer thing and that she was thinking about it. Lauren is shocked that Heidi hadn't said anything to her about it and says that she doubts Heidi will move in with him because it's just too soon. Silence hits the table, and in true Lo fashion, she squeaks out, "awkward!" and the girls leave the restaurant and walk into the night.

Next week on The Hills: Lauren has her 21st birthday, Brody Jenner returns and Lauren and two-toned Jen face off!