Chilean Miners vow to return to underground captivity rather than face Khloe Kardashian

The 33 Chilean miners have vowed unanimously to return to their underground entrapment rather than face Khloe Kardashian.

Khloe--ever on the lookout for a means of self-promotion-- had scheduled a trip to Chile where, according to her publicist, she would "personally congratulate every one of them for their bravery."

"My friend Luis Urzua came by and told me that Kim Kardashian was coming to visit us, and I was very happy, and was dancing with my family in anticipation" said Franklin Lobos, one of the famous miners. "But then, Luis came back, and I could tell right away that something was wrong".

"We had a meeting, and we made a pact" continued Urzua. "We all agreed. We will return to our underground captivity rather than be forced to spend time with that one. The freedom above ground has been wonderful. But we are still human beings after all. We can only take so much."

Kardashian was reported to be distraught when informed of the news, wanted to "Call their bluff". A source close to the publicity seeking freak said that Khloe destroyed her hotel room, enraged at the put-off, shouting, "Those ungrateful bastards don't know what they are missing. They'll be sorry. I'm calling Oprah and telling her to not let them come her show!"

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