training

My husband and I own a 14-month-old male JRT who has already been neutered. He is so aggressive that his vet claims "he must have a hidden set of testicles." He regularly starts fights with dogs on the street. In addition, HE walks US, by pulling on the leash in the direction he wants to go. Often times my wrist becomes bruised from this. To make matters worse, my husband has allowed him to drink from glasses and take over our bed so that he can sleep in between us wherever he likes. What worries me most is that our lack of control over him could cause a premature death; I have heard horrible stories about JRT's dying because they got off of their leashes and ran in front of cars, not obeying their owners. I hired an obedience trainer last week in the hopes that we could finally walk him down the street without our neighbors being scared to walk on the same side of the street. The trainer was pretty harsh in her technique; she made him wince more than a couple of times as she pulled his harness when he wouldn't listen to her commands. Interestingly, after only an hour or so, he began to listen. Once my husband saw this "mean training" he put a stop to it. He says that it is unneccesarily cruel and that he'd rather get the dog to listen with positive reinforcement. In the meantime, nothing has changed and my dog is a holy terror. What do you suggest?