Archive for April, 2013

Yeah, folks, this one is a doozy. The problem is, it really shouldn’t be. But the human trend of being overly emotional, irrational, and just plain nuts rules the day on Planet Earth, and so we have this fracas that, as Marc Barnes so eloquently put it, has all the sense and reason of a Snorlax who just snorted his weight in high quality crack cocaine (Note: They weigh about 1,000 Ilbs).

Which is to say, NONE.

RESPECT MY OPINIONS, YOU BIGOT!!!

With the recent reviewing of the Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8 by the Supreme Court, and the surrounding media mess, I figure that it might as well be time to put up my thoughts on the entire situation, from same-sex marriage itself to the origins of homosexuality.

See, I happen to think that this whole “Gay” movement has only gotten as far as it has due to misinformation, misunderstanding, misrepresentation, and general falsehood, intentionally or unintentionally pursued and promoted by either side of the debate. Well, that and a toxic mix of hypercharged fear and misplaced compassion.

So now that I am dropping this multi-megaton bomb on y’all, I might as well lay out how I intend to go about it. My position, and the subject itself, is far too nuanced and complex to cover in a single post without addling the brain. Because of this, I will be covering it in many, many parts.

Part 1: The Big Gay Dance-Introducing the Gay Rights movement and why they have the power they have. Part of this is the Opposition’s fault.

Part 2: In Which I Rip the APA and Kinsey a New One- You know, for being scientifically unprofessional and intellectually inconsistent. Because, you know, they were just enlightened and so far ahead of the rest of us…

Part 3: You Sold Me Queer Giraffes-Dealing with homosexuality in the Animal Kingdom and how it pertains to the debate.

Part 4: Starscream, Shine on You Crazy Diamond-Breaking down homosexuality into its base components. Also, pertaining analysis of the transgender issue.

Part 5: Putting Together the Rainbow-Final thoughts and a conclusive message on where we should go from here.

I reserve the right to extend various parts into multiple posts if I have to. Get ready, because it has begun!

I also reserve the right to interrupt this flow with anything I find cool enough to write about. ‘Cause it’s my blog.

So, I have managed to come up with a rather fun idea to pass the time, and I think the rest of you would enjoy it as well. The concept was inspired by, or almost ripped entirely from, to be honest, this photo:

Pardon the language, of course.

HORDOR!

I found this humorous.

Anyway, the rules of the Super Hero League Game are as follows: Use Google Image Search. Find a random image of a group photo. Facebook is also good for this. Proceed to give them heroic names and assign each superpowers or gimmicks based on how they look in the image, and leave a link in the comments! Here is one of mine below. Naturally, you don’t have to choose kids, but I wanted to stay in keeping with the original.

The Youngbloods, from Left to Right, Top to Bottom: Whiz Kid– Super Speedster, Witty Remarks Thin Lizzy– Able to stretch any part of her body into any dimensions she desires. The Xander– Team Leader, Smarter than a Fifth Grader, Master Strategist, Kung Fu Prodigy Witcheye– Her gaze is powered by the arcane, and pierces all barriers. Also, firebolts. Iron Jane-Invulnerable, Super Strength Specs-Technological Genius, High-tech Battlesuit equipped with the latest weaponry, finances team off of patent royalties. Princess Andronica the Enchantress-Penchant for pomp and circumstance, and a spellcaster from another dimension, where her true form was a pink alicorn. Is also, of course, obsessed with ponies. Chrissy, the Devourer– Unceasingly hungry, her hyperactive metabolism gives her superhuman healing, speed, reaction time, and strength. She must constantly eat to maintain consciousness.

It really, really is. It is one of the greatest travesties of the Modern Age.

Wait, you thought I was complaining about racism or sexism or homophobia or something like that?

How wrong you were….

I think the entire concept of Hate Crime is ludicrous and in direct violation of the First Ammendment. I’ll prepare my battlements for the undeniably massive wave of angry partisans bearing torches and machetes that now comes to claim my life and sanity.

But still, there, I said it, and I feel better.

Why do I hate the concept of Hate Crime? How could anyone who loves diversity and tolerance hate Hate Crime?

Well, firstly, the fact that I can appreciate diverse worldviews, cultures, and lifestyles has nothing to do with this. Neither does the fact that I can tolerate the existence of behavior or schools of thought I find obscene or worthy of ridicule.

I hate Hate Crime because it is entirely unnecessary and punishes a man further than he has already been punished based upon his beliefs. I do not care if those beliefs include a raging hatred of Catholics, Europeans, people with brown eyes, or any other thing that I am or believe in. People have the right to hold those beliefs and preach them to the multitudes. It makes no difference whether a man assaults me because he does not like my face, or if he harms my person because I am partially Irish or German. The law already punishes the crime of assault, but with Hate Crime, it punishes the ideology of the criminal as well. Therefore, it gives the state a sudden power over what I can and cannot believe. It also opens up a giant can of worms as to what specifically constitutes a Hate Crime, and takes things to a near-1984 level of police work.

Doubtless, many of you reading this will scream “But what of the poor African Americans and Hispanics and Homosexuals and Jews and Muslims and and and and and…? Who will protect them from bigotry-induced violence?”

As already mentioned, the law actually covers threats of all varieties, harassment, physical abuse, assault, robbery, vandalism, and pretty much every way you can harm a human being. The perpetrator will be punished regardless of motive, so why add the extra punishment due to his motive? It is folly. I am perfectly fine with letting down this so-called extra protection against people like Neo-Nazis, Radical Islamists, and the KKK, all of which HATE Catholics and have a history of violence against them. Any of them can come after me and, once they have dealt with my response, which will be very not-fun for them, they will deal with the entirely effective laws already in place.

There you have it, America. Get rid of Hate Crime. It is irrational and wrong-headed.