Saturday, March 17, 2007

Shamrock-hard arteries

First of all, let's discuss my outfit: I am wearing white cotton pajamas with cherries and bluebirds all over them (not literally. PICTURES of cherries and bluebirds) and my pink robe with yellow duckies and bubbles. I am 41 years old.

So, a shout out to my sister-in-law, who sent me the Sweet Earth solid perfumes! She said, "Anything to get rid of that new-doll scent." I was so excited! They smell EXACTLY like my childhood, when I would stand in front of gramma's vanity, playing with her makeup. I wore my new/old perfume over to Renee and Dan's last night.

Who loves her some links today?

Yesterday was Dan's birthday, so Renee had a little dinner party for him. They are incredibly healthy eaters most of the time, so for his birthday Dan wanted steak, thin french fries, cake and ice cream. Given his cholesterol and mine, I thought it'd be fun to see who died first in the evening.

I was worried about the whole gift thing. I think I hate that part the most about not spending. But I am happy to report that I brought that elaborate flower arrangement I got from work (and I do not even know how to describe it. It is nothing like any flower arrangement you have ever seen) and it was a big hit.

Did I mention that on top of the steak there was garlic butter?

There were other couples at said gathering, and party guest Juan Valdez and I were critiquing the art of Dan and Renee's daughter Charlotte, who is going to be two. There was one painting that was all done in black paint, and we figured that was her dark, Courtney Love period. Then another green painting we decided she did under the influence of absynthe. Of course, it would have to be absynthe in a sippy cup.

Who got kicks of of themselves? Was it Juan Valdez and me?

Naturally, Marvin Gardens and I turned into an informercial for not spending, which is what happens whenever we go anywhere. I have never mentioned here how I came up with this idea in the first place, and people always ask. It was a yoga magazine. A FIVE DOLLAR yoga magazine, that had an article about people who made a decision not to spend. I was reading it while Marvin and I were at a restaurant, cause I'm polite that way, and I said, "Let's try this!" and he said, "Okay."

So that's that exciting story.

Well, happy St. Patrick's Day. I am gonna throw down later with some green tea. Whoo! Erin go Braless or whatever.

Since we met last month, I've become hyperaware of how I spend my nongrocery money. And you know what is a great way to cut spending?

Getting sick.

I took the wife out for a quick dim sum lunch last Thursday (the credit union she works for gives her a whopping 45 minutes to eat, so we like CBS seafood, in LA's Chinatown; it's faster than Mickey D's -- you're biting into your first dish 30 seconds after you sit down.)

I don't know if you can get Montezuma's Revenge from eating dim sum. Maybe it's Emperor Tsao's revenge, but it's just as debilitating.

And I'd like to add that the revenge part kicked in at midnight before multiparty yard sale I had committed to be in started the next morning at 8. I was useless. I could lift nothing more than a shoebox of Christmas balls from the 99-cent store and a baseball glove (not pink). At least I could count the cash. Each family made about $300, then I came home, showered, and went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, Emperor Tsao was continuing to push his troops farther into my digestive system -- and I pulled a shoulder muscle! Now, it had become impossible even to transfer my still-sealed roll of quarters from the counter to the drawer.

I'm so lame right now, I can't even manage to fiddle with the coffee maker. To get my caffeine fix, I'm now digging into my supply of unused black tea. I've spent probably $40 on good loose-leaf tea in the past three months, then drunk a cup or two of each blend, then I'm jonesin' for coffee.

So being sick and injured, I can't go down and spring $2 for an Americano; I'm enjoying all the great tea that's further aging in my reach-in.

That's $8-12 bux saved over the last four days. Not to mention, when I move next March, I'll have 272 milligrams less tea to pack and ship.