This past week was tough! My hardest week thus far and I’ll try to explain why, or at least what I’ve learned.

- Hot Pumpkin tea is where it’s at!

- My body now recognizes processed food and instantly wants to reject them. I’ll spear you the details, it’s TMI. You are welcome.

- But with that said, I still made less than favorable choices all week. We ate out, I made pasta, and I enjoyed a pumpkin cookie once or twice.

- I’ve noticed a change in my sleep patterns too. I don’t know if it’s directly correlated to the food, or a combination of food choices and stress.

- A lot of personal things happened this week and through them I learned something about myself and my relationship with food.

- When I am stressed or am having negative feelings (sad, mad, anxious, etc.) I either want to pig out on junk food or eat nothing at all. Luckily, I have no junk food in the house anymore. I would have to go out of my way to obtain some, and by that time it isn’t worth it anymore.

- I’ve also noticed that I am not actually hungry in most of these instances where I want to binge on junk. Simply grabbing a bottle of water curbs the issue.

- Something I need help with: changing up breakfast in the morning. Especially when I have to run out the door in a hurry it’s hard for me to get creative.

- My focus for Week 4 has to be on Food. That’s what this is all about, after all. Good, whole, cleanFOOD.

- I’ve already decided that I will do the Whole30 again. I need it. My body needs it.

“When we go into that new project, we believe in it all the way. We have confidence in our ability to do it right.” – Walt Disney

Sometimes, when at work, I have the most brilliant ideas and thoughts. I often surprise myself. As my the big race looms closer I have given a lot of thought to my goals/resolutions/priorities and projects.

For me, resolutions (goals for the entire year) are often made to be too lofty and I lose focus on them because I have a whole year to complete it. It’s one of those things that I always think I have enough time to complete or get to, but in reality I always put it off because there will always be more time.

In the past I have also done monthly goals to go along side the resolutions, to simultaneously help one another get accomplished. Somehow or another one month always proves to be just a tad to short.

Clearly, I struggle with getting my personal goals accomplished sometimes but I really like making them and pushing myself.

Early this summer I secretly made a little “Summer Goal List” which included: unplug, save money, take vitamins regularly, and eat more yogurt.

Over the summer I went from rarely eating yogurt to eating it 2-3 times per week. I take a multi vitamin and Biotin daily. I spent a lot of time off of the twitters, Facebook, and other inter-webs. I didn’t save a whole lot of money, but I did manage to pay off some very important bills and that’s always a win!

Wouldn’t you know that a more manageable list, with a time frame that wasn’t long enough for me to forget about or so short that I felt rushed, worked like a charm! “Seasonal” goals are just right!! For me.

For most Labor Day is the end of summer. Sadly, that is not the case in Florida but I am already in the Fall/Autumn like spirit so I have prepared my Fall Goals!

Maintain an A average in math. – It’s hard, friends! This might be the hardest one!

Workout 5 days a week leading up to Race Day!

Add a glucosamine supplement to my daily vitamins. – Hoping this will help with some foot pains.

More water and more fresh foods.

No Starbucks drink larger than Grande. – I love fall & holiday drinks at Starbucks and can easily drink Venti’s. Downsizing a few ounces is a huge step.

Now that I’ve got my Fall Goals in place I need a cold front to get rid the heat and humidity and few colorful leaves to start gracing my front yard!

For years Disney ran the Tower of Terror 13k, but 2009 was the last year for that race. This year they brought it back as a 10 miler. I was giddy with excitement from the moment we registered.

Picking up where I left off…

We loaded our bus and quickly my nerves took over. I wanted my mommy.

Once we arrive to the parking lot of Hollywood Studios, which doubled as the waiting/starting area, my nerves settled down again. It was a huge dance party with 10,500 of my closest Run Disney friends. We even did the Carlton – Fresh Prince, anyone?

It was a warm 84 degrees at 10:30pm and humidity was close to 100%. I was a hot sweaty mess just waiting in our corral. Soon it was go time. The music was pumping, the MC’s were fun and encouraging, and the fireworks flared to signal the start of each corral. It was a magical send off.

We headed towards the highway and I was feeling really good. The first mile was a breeze, but the climb to the highway was a tricky one – going up an on ramp, on an incline. This didn’t make my ankle feel to good, but we pushed on.

Mile two came and went. Mile three I started to slow down. By mile 4 I was starting to doubt everything. I was in a lot of pain. My side/stomach was cramping and my hand was swelling. I had never had my hand swell before, but it was happening to a lot of other racers too. Paramedics on bicycles were giving people tips and tricks to keep the swelling down.

At this point I was struggling to keep a 15 minute pace and was feeling so defeated. We were at the half way point, I could see the signs for mile 5, but I wanted to give up. Alex wouldn’t let me. He talked me through every step, every mile, and up every bridge.

We cried, laughed, and encouraged other that were struggling – there were a lot who were struggling. The heat and humidity were so bad that people were throwing up on the side of the road. Thankfully, Alex and I were not effected like that but it was heartbreaking to see happen to other racers.

I never felt so many emotions in one time span. Nervous, excited, happy, sad, scared, and disappointed. It was a rush! Honestly, despite my struggles to this point the miles seemed to pass rather quickly.

My one fear all along was getting swept. When I decided to give up I forgot to think how upset I would be if I didn’t finish. More so, I didn’t think how disappointed Alex would be. When that realization set in I was a bucket of tears again and it was time to kick it in to gear.

Mile 6 was off-road and down a gravel path which proved a little tricky to navigate in the night. Mentally I was preparing myself for what was about to happen. The RunDisney volunteers were cheering and officials were reminding everyone how far behind the pace we all were.

Mile 7 was as far as we went. A bunch of us joked that we would link arms and keep on going, but race officials made note of our numbers and told us we needed to board the bus. We all fell so far behind pace that they could not let us go any further. I buried my face in Alex’s chest and cried out all the feelings I had been feeling throughout the night. I was devastated that I didn’t finish, and I was crushed that I let Alex down.

Countless people had been pulled off the course before us, but the 40 or so of us that boarded the bus at mile 7 were the last to get pulled off.

It was an emotional ride back to Hollywood Studios and I wasn’t ready to face my failures. The official on board was perky and sweet – I wanted to punch her in the face! Not joking.

We were informed that because we made it to mile 7, Disney’s “Magic Mile” for this race, we would all receive the race medal.

I got off the bus, took my medal from the volunteer that greeted us, and made my was through the finishers tent. I didn’t even want to put on the medal, or take the official pictures (not to mention the picture line was crazy long!).

Alex tried to reassure me that we had done the best we could and I should be proud for taking the risk. I was in tears again, and they were not the happy tears shed by many of the other runners.

We found Alex’s parents and they comforted me while sympathizing at the same time. They were proud of our efforts and accomplishments.

It was well after midnight, we were tired and starving. Bacon cheeseburgers and a beer were all I could focus on. Once we settled down and my stomach was content I was able to see the bright side of things and reflect on lessons learned.

It was a long, emotional night. Looking back I wouldn’t trade it for the world and I wouldn’t have done with anyone else by my side. Alex was a blessing because I know I wasn’t strong enough to make it that far without him.

We posted pictures of us with our medals on Facebook and sent them to family, just commenting on the fact that we got our medals – we got what we came for. It’s still hard for me to swallow that we didn’t cross the finish line.

The Family Life: It’s not getting any better. I thought things were on the road to recovery, but I should have known better. Normally I would have my dad to count on, as a sounding board, but it seems he have abandoned my ship too. I don’t bring my brothers into, because they’d rather stay neutral and who can blame them! I don’t even want to be stuck in this war! I’ve never felt like such a failure or spent so many nights crying myself to sleep. It’s a horrible movie I wish I could stop from playing.

Angry Run: Twice in the last week I have run just to burn off some anger and frustration. Yesterday morning I was up with the sun and the thought of lacing up my running shoes just seemed right. Without my Garmin, MP3 player or cell phone I headed out of my house. I can’t tell you how far, how fast or how many calories I burned. I can tell you that I ran until I cried. Down the street, around the corner, through the neighborhood, one foot after another — I felt the bottled up emotions leaving my body. In that moment, I loved running. Then I stopped to cry. By the time I got back home I felt relief come over me.

Life Sucked Out of Me: With everything going on I haven’t felt like myself. I’m off balance, I’m behind, I’m not my happy self. I hate feeling like this, more than anything. At night I wish to wake up to better days. I feel like I have become an old, colorless person that has had the color erased from her life.

Time to Move: Anyone who knows me knows that moving out of Florida is what I am working towards. I had a moment of clarity on my run yesterday: staying here is NOT an option. It’s not good for me, or my health. Project Move Sabrina is officially under way. Support on this “project” has come from a somewhat surprising source.

The Boy: Please excuse me as I hold back the tears here. He has been my rock. Hands down, I don’t know how I would be getting through this without him. He has been my happiness, my supporter, my comforter, my shoulder to cry on, and my laughter. When I cry tears of sadness and pain, he always finds the way to turn them to tears of happiness. He says and does things that give me so much hope. He is so genuine. I believe in him, and us. His family is something to be treasured. I met them for the first time on Tuesday and I can see why he is the person he is. We’ve embraced the topic of moving, he is open to the idea once he finishes college in the spring. He closed our discussion of moving with: “You deserve to be happy and you should have all the happiness in the world”. For the first time in my adult life I can actually envision a future with a relationship.

Blogging: I just haven’t felt like blogging. Writing or reading. That passion isn’t there. It’s hard to be passionate about blogging when so many other things are weighing on me. I wish it wasn’t the case. I wish I could write through all the pains and feelings, but the words never seem to come. And speaking of, yesterday was my One Year Blogiversary. I have a “looking back” post that I hope to have up soon.

It’s been a while since I sat down to right, although I have often wanted to. My mind is cluttered with all things and I just haven’t been able to put them on paper. Today is about the main points and I hope to expand on all things throughout the week. One thing is for sure, I miss having the desire to blog more frequently.

You can safely assume that healthy living has been on a vacation.

Last week Alex and I spent four wonder days at Walt Disney World. I didn’t want it to end. Ever.

As of this week I am back on MyFitnessPal. For the moment I am using it to help me be mindful about the meals and recipes I am creating at home, and not so much counting calories.

Yes, Alex and I have been cooking a lot. A few weeks ago we made Taco Salads and yesterday we made a low sodium tomato soup and Ricotta cheese!

Life here is moving forward. Many positive changes in the works and the future look bright.

And may I just say that the weather in Florida has FIALLY dipped into the lower 80’s and upper 70’s, Hallelujah, I never thought the days would come!

It happened! Soon after work Alex and I headed down to our local Planet Fitness to rejoin after a year+ hiatus. Once the paperwork was done and fee was paid, we hit the equipment.

I spent 42 minutes on the treadmill doing random intervals at different inclines. I didn’t keep track of what I did, at which setting, or for how long. I just went with what felt good since this was my first outing in a while, and the first since my plantar fasciitis began acting up.

I do know that I ran at a speed of 4.5mph for a quarter mile. And I was pain free!

After the treadmill I completed a 5 minute cool down and 5 minutes of stretching.

We absolutely love going to Mustard’s. Sitting outside on their patio and people watching is a favorite hobby!

Now, for more deliciousness.

Alex and I found ourselves in a baking mood after our hot dog outing and Cinnamon Scones seemed to fit the bill. Now, I’ll be honest with you guys. Recipes and pictures are not the first thing that comes to mind when I am in the kitchen. Unfortunately, that means I only have one lousy picture to share with you of the end result. Don’t let the picture deceive your taste buds! I’ll get better at this, I promise!

In a small bowl mix flour, baking powder, salt, and the 2 tablespoons of sugar.

Slice the stick of butter into more manageable slices. Then, using your fingers break it apart into small chunks and mix into the flour mixture.

In a small bowl combine the eggs and cream, then add to the flour mixture. Mix everything until just blended together. Sometimes it’s easier to used your fingers.

Place the dough on a lightly floured board and knead for 1 minute. Roll dough into a rectangle that is approximately 8×12 inches.

Brush the dough with the melted butter, be sure to get all the edges too.

Combine and mix all the ingredients for the filling then spread evenly across the dough. Next, you will roll the dough up, jelly roll style. Roll one 12 inch side onto itself so you are left with a roll about 12 inches long. Pinch the seam and corners to make sure they are well sealed.

Cut into 12 one-inch thick slices and place on baking sheet. They don’t need to be in any perfect shape, they still taste good.

Bake for 12-15 minutes until scones are turning golden brown.

ENJOY! They are extra delicious when fresh out of the oven and topped with a little whipped cream.

Yesterday Alex and I hit the gym for workout number two of the new year. I did cardio and weights, he just did weights.

I want to be able to work up a good sweat all while easing my way back into runningjogging. So I hit the treadmill for 35 minutes of cardio and came up with a nice balance of slow and steady. My heart rate was up, I was sweating, and the calories were burning. Best of all, it was another pain free workout! :: thumbs up! ::

It is likely that I will stick to this routine for a few days until it becomes comfortable, then I will change it up. The last thing I want to do is have another set back or flare up.

Once I was done with cardio I hit the weight machines for an arm workout. Man, I hate arm workouts!

I hope everyone has a fabulous Monday. I am working until 1 pm then I will be in countdown mode until the kickoff of the BCS National Championship game. I will be the crazy girl who is decked out from head to toe, yelling and screaming, just hoping my Seminoles bring home the victory!

GO NOLES! >>–;;–>>

Every Sunday morning (hopefully) I will be posting a recap of the previous week (Sunday – Saturday). It will consist of all workouts from the previous week and my weigh in from that morning.

Week one with all the glory of newness and possibility. I spent most of the week getting my head right, cleaning out the pantry, and focusing on a cleaner diet of less sugar and carbs. After myinitial weigh inof the year, and the reality of my “before” pictures, I am really pleased with my loss and efforts this week. Beyond week one, I really want this time to be a New Beginning.