Control, Vines: A Reflection of Growth

Does anyone else look at their work from when they were younger and realize years later what you were making work about? I’ve been thinking about the ring that was donated to me for my heartbreak project and I realized that without knowing it, I’ve
done work about creeping control.

I used to be very closed off from feelings. It’s still my natural response – keep calm and carry on. It’s so clear to me now that my obsession with crawling veins growing around and constricting movement (on the runway they could barely walk, their arms are pinned with bands) it wasn’t a hidden metaphor. There used to be an element of fantasy in my work. Sometimes you can be in such denial about your life that your art practice is telling it to other people for you.

I remember being so frustrated with myself that my peers were all developing their conceptual art practice and I still felt so unsure. I was developing mine, I just wasn’t ready to jump into the dark with my eyes open. A late bloom is better than never blooming at all. To recognizing yourself later, and continuing what you started with your eyes open

You’re afraid to be told who you are isn’t good enough. Lean into it, other people will recognize you.

I now recognize that this work I was making five years ago was about serious stuff, but I created an empty fantasy to make it feel comfortable. To avoid vulnerability. Now I’ve come full circle, and I have a ring about constricting, control and pressure. This time I can tell someone else’s story more wholeheartedly then I was able to tell my own at the time.