It’s rare when someone teases me about my weight. But when it happens, it hurts. And it hurt today. As today is Star Wars Day (May the Fourth), I posted a picture on Facebook of me wearing an X-Wing Fighter flight suit. It wasn’t a real photo — it was taken with the Disney Side App, which superimposes items like goggles and helmets over a selfie. Because of the way the image was rendered, my face actually looked slim. Distorted, but slim.

One of the places I can see my weight gain most prominently is in my hands. My fingers are chubby and stubby, and they remind me of sausages. There’s a noticeable layer of fat on my palms. My wedding ring feels tight.

Fingers

Palm

It seems weird to wish for thinner hands and fingers, but these are the body parts I see most frequently during the day. I see them when I’m writing, typing, eating, driving, tapping on my iPhone and iPad, using the remote control — pretty much all the time.

Every time I turn around, there’s a subtle reminder that I’m overweight. I just pulled something out of the oven, and it was a struggle to pull the oven mitts over my pudgy hands. There are dozens of little incidents like this every day, and they really eat away at my self confidence.

Another reminder: I need a haircut. This is something I enjoy, right up to the end when the barber (Footnote 1) pulls out the mirror to show me the back of my head. That’s when I see the rolls of fat on the back of my neck. I realize, again, that this is how others see me when I am facing the other way.