Scientists Find Link Between Birthdays & Longevity

Scientists at the US Institute For Health today released findings from their 6 year study on birthdays and mortality.

The report was compiled using just $7 billion in US taxpayer money. According to the findings, accumulating birthdays could lead to a longer lifespan.

Dr. Ken Dostick explains, “Case after case we have studied show that their is a direct correlation between how long someone lives and how many birthdays they have had. A great example is a lady from Duluth, Georgia that we studied, she had 89 birthdays and was 89 years old. Compare that to her sister who had only 72 birthdays, and she only lived to be 72 years old. This pattern has been consistent in case after case, study after study.”

The big question is how exactly more birthdays lead to a longer life? Dr Dostick responds, “Well that’s the $7 billion dollar question. By that, I mean we are going to need $7 billion more to find an answer.”