Boyfriend’s Secretive Behavior Raises Questions Of Sexuality

Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am 19 and love my boyfriend a lot. He is very sweet and would do anything for me. However, I am beginning to think there may be someone else. The someone else is male.

My boyfriend has become very secretive lately with his phone, and I’ve noticed he’s followed a lot of male modeling accounts on Instagram. Should I confront him about it, or am I overthinking things? — CONFLICTED IN IOWA

DEAR CONFLICTED: You are not overthinking. Because you are having doubts about your boyfriend’s faithfulness, ask him why he has become secretive with his phone and why he is viewing male models on Instagram. Unless he’s trying to become a model, it is possible that he may be bisexual. If that’s the case — and you are correct that he would “do anything” for you — he should level with you about it.

P.S. If you have been having unprotected sex with this young man, I urge you to be tested for STDs as soon as possible.

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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 15-year-old girl in my sophomore year. School is going really good, I’m getting my grades up, I made the varsity lacrosse team, and I have amazing friends. But our school tells us that during our sophomore school year, we should start to look at colleges. Neither of my parents went to college, and I’m not sure what I should be doing to prepare. I’m only an average student, and I don’t really know what I should ask my guidance counselor or look for in a college. What do you think I should do? — STUDENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR STUDENT: That your parents didn’t go to college doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t. If your grades need improvement, ask your teachers what you need to do to earn better grades. Make an appointment with your guidance counselor and explain exactly what you have told me. When you do, I am sure the person will be glad to help you.

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DEAR ABBY: My best friend is being married, and the wedding invitation lists the attire as “black tie.” I understand this usually means the men should wear tuxedos. Several of the men who have been invited have told me they plan to wear dark suits instead. Is this appropriate for a black tie event? I suppose there’s no way to force anyone to wear something they don’t want to, but I’m wondering if black tie is a requirement or a suggestion. — WEDDING ATTIRE ETIQUETTE

DEAR ATTIRE: If an invitation specifies “black tie,” it means that formal attire is preferred. The rules of etiquette dictate that guests should comply. However, breaking a rule of etiquette is not a felony. If these invitees prefer not to go to the expense of renting a tux, ask your best friend if he/she would be offended if they wore dark suits and conservative ties to the wedding instead.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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