JAY: No problem. You really laid into Obama on Benghazi and the AP seizure scandals. Really makes you wonder…

MITT: Well, like I said earlier, “It’s better to win than to lose, but in the scheme of life, losing an election was not the end of the road.” Speaking of, this isn’t the route I take to get home. Where are we going?

JAY: I thought maybe we could have a picnic, just you, me, and the stars. Would…would you like that?

MITT: Well, sir, there’s nothing in the world I’d like more, so long as I get to hear one honk of your old-timey horn.

JAY: Mitt, you can honk my old-timey horn whenever you want.

MITT: Never replace me with someone younger who’s more handsome, more charismatic, more likable, more “hip.”

There are 47 percent of the people who will watch Jay Leno no matter what…who are dependent upon bad jokes, who believe that he is funny. …These are people who make The Big Bang Theory the #1 show on television. …and so my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.