I know what you mean. He was madly in love with me. Or so he thought. I believe it was more infatuation than anything though I could be wrong. Even his voice would piss me off. Anything he talked about...I ended up learning to zone him out. I decided that I couldn't handle it anymore. I just couldn't. He wasn't a bad person and everyone else seemed to like him. I just couldn't understand it because I couldn't stand him. I used to feel bad about 'breaking his heart' but he started spreading rumors about me so that put a stop to my pity and was replaced with apathy. What an ass.

Thanks. I’ve had quite a few people say the same thing. At 34, I’m not getting any younger, and I’m starting to realize that I need to suck up my pride and move back home for a bit if I need to, but also be an adult and actually have this discussion that I’ve been avoiding for so long now.

You’re younger than I was... you’ve got the world at your feet. It’s a fact of life, albeit a shitty one, that after a certain age women are considered less desirable. I can personally attest to that... I’m invisible now (which has its benefits!), so if you’re hoping for another relationship, don’t wait. 😔

It wouldn't make me angry per sa, but I'd just get annoyed by everything. I tried not to act annoyed, because to get annoyed at him for sending an unfunny meme, telling an unfunny joke, or just calling me is just an over reaction. Such a great guy, but man... just thinking about it... yikes. Why did I keep getting back together with him over the span of 6 years??

Sounds like my last relationship. Towards the end I would get annoyed at him and I couldn't understand why like I couldn't tolerate some of his shit anymore. My friend and I were talking about this recently and she experienced the same thing with her ex.

I just went through this with my ex. Everything he would say or do annoyed me. He didn’t have a car or a steady job so that meant it was me paying for everything and planning everything and it started to get to me. I felt resentful and lovely but still toughed it out with him bc I loved him and he kept saying when he gets himself right, that the roles will reverse. But he never gave me a time frame so would this continue for another year? Or 5? I’m 28 and want to be in a relationship where a future looks promising rather than anxiety driven bc of his instability.

He kept telling me I was complaining when I would bring my concerns to him, babe you need to get a better job. How about meeting me halfway with things like planning activities. Nope everything was too much to ask of him so eventually I started not looking forward to seeing him bc that meant more work on my part which led to me getting annoyed even when I saw him or he’d open his mouth. I knew this isn’t how someone’s supposed to feel about their SO

My ex did the same thing. I asked him to randomly get me flowers sometime during the year (because they make me happy and it is an easy yet thoughtful gift) and what do you know, an entire year went by and he didn't get me flowers once. His excuse? "I didn't know where a flower shop was."

One year he also didn't do anything for our anniversary, my birthday or Christmas and claimed he had no money yet he had no problems dipping into his savings to purchase a $5000 gaming computer.

That's what happened to me! Except he never said he would, he just jumped into the 'did nothing' part... And the bit that instead of conversations with my best friend, it was actually with.... his, lol. And not the last part about wearing and saying, but yeah... When they know they're hurting you and don't care and keep making the choice to do it because they, you know, don't care... it's CPR on a dead thing...

When I finally started realizing that I was being fed empty promises and nothing was changing in spite of how well and often I had communicated my needs to him. I no longer was happy to hang out with him, I wasn't excited for upcoming holidays because I knew I would be disappointed, and I no longer saw myself marrying him or having his children.

I just kind of woke up to the glaring incompatibilities and the poor treatment and realized I deserved better. No one changes unless they want to so it was pointless trying to convince him to be a better partner- he didn't want to be. I shouldn't have to teach someone how to be a good partner.

I know breaking up and the fear of the unknown is terrifying but in the end if it's better for your mental health and wellbeing then you owe it to yourself to make that difficult choice. I was rewarded by my bravery- ending things was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I'm in a much healthier and happier place now.

Yup, there it is - I realized I deserved better. I deserve someone who won't call me awful names or tell me he wished he had cheated on me during an argument, I deserve someone who doesn't break a tv when he gets caught flirting with his ex.

I deserve someone who makes me feel loved, even when he's mad. Someone I'll never have to walk on eggshells with or feel my anxiety spike when I see his truck in the driveway.

We got into a huge fight at my best friends wedding, and he left. I had way more fun without him than with him after he left. I realized he was pretty much a wet blanket our entire relationship and I didn’t want that anymore.

And even if they do change it was at the expense of your own happiness. So maybe they're a better person because of you but unfortunately you can't be together because of resentment. If they wanted to keep you they wouldve never put themselves in a position to lose you.

When the sex stopped. I mean I feel like there were other things happening simultaneously but that was when I knew it was probably over. It’s hard when nobody has done anything wrong, it’s just not working out. Even harder to realize when it’s time to move on.

When a very attractive person started becoming unattractive to me. I am a beauty comes from the inside kind of person, so when I start seeing someone as "ugly" it is because of the ugly I think is coming from the inside out.

That’s slightly comforting in a way... if you’re ugly, then you know people are around because they really like you. I guess that’s easier than trying to win people with looks, although nobody wants to be repulsive.

I’ve had amicable breakups, but the worst one, the relationship went totally sour. I stopped imagining myself with him in the future — when I’d daydream about the future, he wasn’t there. Plans no longer included him. I fantasized about breaking up and I found myself complaining to my girlfriends about him every time they asked about him. Everything he did annoyed me, even the way he chewed. I kept reading articles online trying to justify the breakup. I had zero respect for him.

Now, this was for a few reasons, the big one being quitting his job and leeching off me for months. The resentment was a slow build but once it was there, there was no coming back.

This is exactly how I felt. I didn’t even realize that he wasn’t in my daydreams until after a big fight. I started to daydream about the next person I might date. The imaginary person had qualities that were very different from my BF at the time. Then I realized that all my daydreams were somewhere other than where we lived at the time. I had created a whole different life. I was stressing about the breakup, because I knew it would be ugly. We lived in the same apartment complex and had a shared group of friends. I ended up staying with him for 6 months after that. Most of the time I was planning my escape. I eventually had to move across the country and cut off all contact with that group of friends. It was the best decision I ever made. He married another girl from our friend group. I pity her, because she is actually a nice person.

Yep. It took me ages to break up with him, too. Started with breaking off our engagement. Then asking him to move out. Then four more months of hand-wringing trying to make the separation permanent. He ended up assaulting me one day when he came over to “talk” and that was the last straw. I know the feeling and it sucks.

My partner is wonderful, we’ve been together for almost four years now and getting rid of the dead weight was the best decision I ever made.

One night we were having sex and he said “you’re mine forever right?” And I started crying because I knew it wasn’t true.

He didn’t put as much effort into the relationship as I did. On Valentine’s Day I went out and bought him a really nice watch and planned a cute night for us. He said “sorry, I didn’t get you anything. I didn’t know we were doing presents”. ITS VALENTINES DAY. I don’t even care about the material aspect of it, I would’ve been damn happy with a hand written card.

After that, the little things began to annoy me too. I had to ask him to cut his toenails multiple times. I had to tell him that he can’t wear basketball shorts to my friend’s fancy birthday dinner. And I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I knew the end was near.

I hated being around them near the end. Everything they said just made me shake my head or have some negative thoughts about them. Stopped having sex. Stopped telling them all the little things about my days like I used to. Didn’t look forward to spending time with them and every time some form of intimacy was initiated (cuddling, kissing, hugging etc) I just felt gross because I didn’t want it.

He seemed disinterested in me. We went from talking hourly, to every other day, to just me initiating every now and then. He was going through a hard time, but wouldn’t talk to me. He turned to the bottle instead. Broken hearted I broke it off. I still love him, but I don’t think he loves me.

All I needed was for him to to say look, I need some space and I would have been ok with that. Or any sort of communication to say that he needed time, wanted me to stick around but he was struggling. I tried hard to be there for him. But I can’t stay when he’s drunk at noon and showing up to work hung over and won’t give me any sort of idea of what’s going on. I’ll wait for him for a little bit. But I can’t wait forever.

When I realized “sorry” meant nothing to him because he kept doing the same things over and over. That “I love you” meant nothing because his actions didn’t back it up at all. I talked to him and talked, communicated and it went unheard. I realized I was the only one putting in any work into the relationship. Not to mention the money that was frivolously spent instead what it was needed for and in spite of kids needs, never taking responsibility for his kids or actions, never helping with kids or house, never participating in family functions unless forced. I could go on and on. One day I just realized I was fighting for something that wasn’t there and he wasn’t fighting for at all, he enjoyed the fact that I did everything and he got to skate through everything free of responsibility and still boast he was a “family man”. Oh and on top of all this he was a drug addict. I also realized it was better for my kids to not have that in their life, I had been trying to salvage a marriage for their sake because I thought it was the right thing but it wasn’t.

When I realized “sorry” meant nothing to him because he kept doing the same things over and over. That “I love you” meant nothing because his actions didn’t back it up at all. I talked to him and talked, communicated and it went unheard.

It has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with who you are as a person and how you work in a partnership.

My ex and I had a lot in common, and that was great.. but he wasn't motivated, his things were always more important than my things, hew was kind of selfish and egotistical. Early on, it just came off as confident and charming. After a year and a half... I wanted noting to do with it. It was juvenile.

Honestly, in my situation above it was an amicable breakup and my thoughts were irrational. It wasn't "I broke up with him because everything he did annoyed me," it was more like "we were 110% over so everything he did began to annoy me." Realistically, he didn't do anything wrong except be incompatible with me.

I began to notice toward the end how practically every person who wasn’t physically repulsive and was even a little nice to me would ignite strong romantic interest and feelings. I’d been so lonely for so long that I was basically starving for any semblance of intimacy and affection. I’m almost comically monogamous, so the wandering eye is a reliable sign that I’m very unhappy in a relationship.

This was another thing.
I get practically face blind when I am in a relationship. I can barely tell you if someone is good looking, because... meh.
Then one day, right after I realized I could not fix the relationship, but before I had left, I had a guy I had seen about a hundred times before come into the bar I was working at (I used to bartend at several VFWs in my area, as a side gig.), and I was slapped in the face by how good looking this dude was. Had never noticed it before, and then-BOOM.
And that was the final nail in that coffin.
If I am looking at other guys, and wandering what it would be like to have their arms wrapped around me, it is completely dead, buried, and decomposed.

Omg me too!! I’m experiencing this now. I’m very loyal and barely even glance at other men when in a relationship, I have no interest in others. But now my marriage is dying it’s like my single gal eyed have reopened, and I notice all guys again and I am getting crushes etc.

We lived quite far apart but used to see each other on weekends. We dated for years and things were pretty serious. When spending time together became a chore rather than something I’d look forward to, I knew things were coming to an inevitable halt between us. That, and I also realized that I wasn’t thinking of him as much throughout the day anymore. That bit hit me hard though, as he was such a big part of my life.

My ex prioritized his emotions over mine all the time. His needs were always more important. Anytime I went to him with a problem he would argue how I misunderstood the situation and invalidated my emotions.

The final straw was when he let his mother abuse me and him during a family vacation. My kid was around and exposed to this. When I got home I packed my things.

When trying to communicate your issues with how things are going is too upsetting to them and they shut it down.

Context- my relationship seemed fine, except one day I woke up and it didn’t feel that way. I told a close friend, who advised I sit down and write out my feelings and share them with him. When I first broached the idea he accepted it. But later that day when I told him I’d written some things down, he got upset with me over text and said he wouldn’t respond anymore that night because he was upset and needed to study. I’m a very conflict avoidant person so I lied and said I agreed with him and had thrown the list out.

The next day, he sent me a text message saying he was happy I had thrown away the list, that it was just going to cause an argument. I was standing with my therapist - we had just finished our session - and I turned to her and said “this relationship is over.” I avoided him for two weeks until he pulled the plug.

Bonus: Three months later he sent me an email to hash out the relationship. I started writing an angry response when my Mom walked over and asked what I was doing. When I told her, she asked me if it was really worth responding. I stopped typing and closed my laptop and went off to do something else. Left it in my drafts. Never wrote another word but have revisited it for drunk laughs.

With my last relationship, I had no idea til 5 seconds before I broke up with him. It was an impulse that turned out to be right. Although looking back on this I should’ve been tipped off by 8 months of unhappiness punctuated by an lsd trip that was basically a very long, very strange and beautiful goodbye to him.

Isnt it funny how LSD really gives us the answers to how we feel or are compatible with someone? For 8 years I tripped with different partners to no end, and am now engaged to the man I first tripped with.

Yeah, when I tripped with my ex, that was the most disconnected I ever felt from him but I knew that was the truth. I also got to appreciate what we did have together and how significant it was to my life at that point. It sounds cliche to talk about how beautiful it was, but it really was... That really helped me process my feelings and I think saved me from possibly many more months of denial.

After 4 years together, he still didn't know if we had a potential future together. I wasn't asking for a marriage proposal now or any time soon, just wanted to know if he thought we might go in that direction. He didn't really have any thoughts on it besides "idk if I can see a future with you." Ouch. I took that as a sign, that if you don't even know if a future together is a possibility you might go after after that many years, I'd basically be wasting even more of my time waiting for something that was never gonna come. After I broke up with him, he admitted he just didn't wanna try in our relationship and apologised for stringing me along, saying he should have broke up with me earlier.

He started telling me that me kissing him goodnight and caring about him And his well being (waiting up for him to get home if he was out late and I hadn't hear from him and such) was all too boring and routine and annoying, when usually he was a huge sap. I knew something was up. Turns out he was trying to get me to dump him cuz he was cheating on me and didn't have the balls to dump me himself.

I let him get away with too much. Verbal abuse happened and I let it slide because I told myself it wasn't a big deal, it was only words I thought. Next he smacked me in the face while we were walking to school one morning, I don't know why I didn't do something right then and there but I kind of played it off and he definitely noticed. Later that same day he tried to show off in front of his friends I guess because for no reason he pulls me by my hair like you would a dog by a leash, and I lost it there.

And realizing that while I'm no Einstein, he was not very smart compared to me. Sound shitty and egotistical, I know. But when you have conversations with someone on a daily basis...you need to be able to understand one another.

I’m at this stage atm and not hopeful it can be recovered. I wish I didn’t feel this way.

I notice I find him annoying every time he talks, I don’t care to listen to stories about his day and I roll my eyes at his jokes etc. his appearance hasn’t really changed but I no longer think he’s a total babe. I used to want to spend all my spare time with him and looked forward to seeing him at the end of the day, now I would rather do things alone. I don’t want to have sex with him or kiss him anymore. I don’t want to do favours for him anymore like pick him up from work. I feel like we’re friends or housemates.

Bit of both I guess. He’s always been depressed and refused to get treatment for the 3 years we’ve been together, and the last 9 months have been so shit. As a result of his moods he never wants to leave the house, go on dates, be outdoors (all the things I love to do) and it’s made me bored and resentful. He recently started meds and counselling but I feel it’s too little too late. Three months ago I caught him chatting to girls on tinder trying to make himself feel better after we argued, and this was a pattern of behaviour on and off whenever we fought for 18 months. There was nothing sexual but it was flirtatious and he’d made small lies to them and that was enough to make me feel betrayed. Just the fact that he went on at all was enough. There’s other things as well that are factors but ultimately I’ve been telling him how my feelings have turned sour for maybe 3-4 months and he doesn’t do anything about it, he doesn’t wanna take me on dates or talk it out or woo me. He just wants to stay home and play games while I do the chores and then go out alone. It used to bother me, but now I don’t care anymore. On top of everything I was so lonely for so long I developed a work crush and that’s sealed the deal because I’m not even thinking of my SO anymore, I want someone else. I believe I’ll be dumping him after we get back from our Xmas holiday.

Bit of both I guess. He’s always been depressed and refused to get treatment for the 3 years we’ve been together, and the last 9 months have been so shit. As a result of his moods he never wants to leave the hoodie, go on dates, be outdoors (all the things I love to do) and it’s made me bored and resentful. He recently started meds and counselling but I feel it’s too little too late. Three months ago I caught him chatting to girls on tinder trying to make himself feel better after we argued, and this was a pattern of behaviour on and off whenever we fought for 18 months. There was nothing sexual but it was flirtatious and he’d made small lies to them and that was enough to make me feel betrayed. Just the fact that he went on at all was enough. There’s other things as well that are factors but ultimately I’ve been telling him how my feelings have turned sour for maybe 3-4 months and he doesn’t do anything about it, he doesn’t wanna take me on dates or talk it out or woo me. He just wants to stay home and play games while I do the chores and then go out alone. It used to bother me, but now I don’t care anymore. On top of everything I was so lonely for so long I developed a work crush and that’s sealed the deal because I’m not even thinking of my SO anymore, I want someone else. I believe I’ll be dumping him after we get back from our Xmas holiday.

He was disinterested talking to me and would focus on other things. Had a sharpness in his voice when I asked how was his day/work. Said I love you less and less as it seemed like a chore. Had a talk about our contrasting ideals of the future.

When he stopped talking/texting as much. When we’d have petty little arguments all the time. When he refused to let his emotional affair girl “friend” go and said she wasn’t his type at all, despite getting with her after we finally broke up. That last part told me all I needed to know after the fact.

He started making fun of his ex’s physical appearances constantly, I would tell him to stop being so petty but then the breaking point came when his ex contacted me, crying, to tell him to cut it out. I knew I couldn’t be with someone so childish and immature.

We had been together for two years, and I moved away to grad school, but we decided to try long distance. He didn't have a car, so I had to do all of the traveling. Soon after school started, my grandfather died. I had to go home to the funeral, but my boyfriend couldn't come with me due to not having a way to get to where my family lived. My grandparents were together for over sixty years. I realized that bf couldn't be a true partner to me. Things ended a month or so later.

When all my background thought processes started running breakup speeches and plans. This was after he quit a new job that was 'driving him nuts' after having been unemployed for several months and holding that one for less than 2.

I started enjoying my alone time far more than I enjoyed being around him. That was the first red flag.

One day he gave me the silent treatment on the way home from a family trip because I had cussed (in a joking manner) during a conversation with my moms boyfriend. When we got into his vehicle I started crying and he let me sit there and cry, begging him to tell me what I had done wrong, and then dropped me at my gate and made me walk home in the dark by myself. I should’ve ended the relationship that night.

The final straw was when my period was two weeks late (this was about a week or two after the silent treatment episode) and I realized that I DID NOT want to raise a child with this person or bring them up around his dysfunctional family. The thought of having a child with him - which I was previously okay with - now terrified me. Period showed up a week later but I didn’t get the balls to leave him for another three months.

Best decision I’ve made for myself in quite some time. Still enjoying my alone time. :)

With his weird reclusion into video games...pretty much. I remember helping do some chores, id finish and then he'd ask me to leave. he was tired or had a headache. He then would be up for 3-4 hours play games. I got laid off and he told me i was depressed 2 weeks after the fact. I was a wreck and i needed a hug. He forgot v-tines day. He told me i was unfair asking for a hug at 10:00 pm when he was still up (we didn't live together) was unfair or reassurance that he loved me (i never needed to ask) We'd dated for a while and talked about engagement...errr...

Last christmas. I could tell he just wasn't feeling it, didn't bother to help me with the tree or any decorating or even shopping for presents. And what he got me was not even something I wanted, it was something he thought I would like based on my profession along with random candy he bought in the aisle at check out. So I did christmas by myself with a bystander on his phone in the background. His family really enjoyed the presents though. And it's the last they'll get from me.

There was more, but I learned that christmas things were not going to get better and after many years, finally cut ties.

He started distancing himself because I wouldn't apologize to him "properly" when I already had BEFORE he demanded (another) one. If he had acknowledged my apology (not necessarily accepted it), we might still be talking to one another, but probably not.

When he started to be more dry with his replies with sentences less than five words. I just thought he was busy with his midterms and a major exam so I just gave him more space. Funny thing is that we had our anniversary dinner the week of. He just looked tired and didn't seem to care about anything I said with replies less than five words. I think I knew too much but I said I'd put it aside. Maybe he cheated, I dont really know. I did my part to the best of my abilities and he's missing out.

Back then I had problem to tell what's love and what is not, because of what happened during my childhood.

At that time I was 16 and after one abusive relationship. The relationship before was with a guy(lets call him guy 1), that mocked me in every way possible, wanted to know where I was and with who, was jealous, destroyed my self confidence by saying how I need to lose weight, because I was fat (I wasn't, I was thinner than I should had been)

(Before you ask, He wasn't like that when we met or when we got together... He started guilt tripping and I was naive to think that it was truly my fault)

I broke up with the guy 1, even though he was saying that he was going to kill himself and so on. I was so scared to let him ruin me more.

After 2 months after break up I got together with different guy that I knew for quite some time. Aaand 1 year into relationship and he did the things I described earlier. BUT I still didnt want to recognize the problem, because the thing he had done were less worse than the things the 1 guy did.

Aaah, okay. Well I hope you understand your own value nowadays and are in a much better place.. I've been single for nearly 15yrs and as lonely as I am, I'd rather be single than miserable and Wish I was single.

When I realized that I wouldn't mind if we broke up. When I noticed that I was daydreaming about breaking up. When I started wishing that he would break up with me because breaking up with him constantly fell through. When I started using any excuse I could find as cause for break up.

Just wasn’t responding or communication with me the same way. We then had a bunch of very serious talks and I could tell he was feeling confused and defeated about everything. The last time we had sex felt really foreign (it always felt so loving prior but these last few times felt purely sexual/lifeless, which was so unlike him). I remember it was so weird because he initially didn’t want me to come inside his place but then invited me in and took me to the basement instead of his bedroom... something that had never happened before so I was like WTF.

I then proceeded to suggest a break a few weeks after and he agreed then said we should break up. Haven’t spoke since but it was honestly for the best. Our differences were blatantly obvious for months.

So my question to all the women who left their spouse due to annoyance of his being and not necessarily him doing anything wrong to you (because I’ve read comments where some of you explained there was nothing wrong with the guy other than you not just being into it for unsaid reasons) , I ask, are any of you in healthy working relationships now? And what exactly do expect out of a guy to continuously want to be with him? Because some comments were, to my taste, a bit shallow with no real reason for not wanting to be with someone.

I knew my first relationship was close to ending because I began thinking “I can do better than this”. I came to the realization that I was in the relationship for so long because I was too insecure to leave it.

His temper with me was so short and he literally would shut down and stop talking to me when he got upset. At first I tried to work with him through it but we were both adults (me 23 & him 25) so I stopped ignoring the red flags I was seeing and let that ship sink.

I always knew when my relationships were ending when I started feeling envious of couples I'd see at the store or park and start fantasizing about being with someone else. No one in particular, just anyone that wasn't the person I was with.

I usually broke up with them within a month or two of these thoughts occurring.

When I asked my mother (I was 17) if I had to go meet him. I would rather have stayed at home (where I had been cooped up all week) with an abusive father than go sit on a sofa bed, watching TV and listening to him stuff his face AGAIN like I had every weekend for months.

When I stopped caring about how he felt. He was controlling and I stopped caring about it. Did what I wanted. Was a lot more busy. When he knew I was done and threw a hissy fit and broke up with me to prod me into doing what he wanted I just nodded and left. I did not care. I got in my car and went about my life. I dont think I ever cried about it after the fact either. He wore me down until I disliked him so much I didn't care.

In my last relationship, the almost-breakups were becoming more frequent and I knew one of them would stick eventually. I was also being told by pretty much everybody to leave because he wasn't good for me. I was losing interest in him and beginning to develop crushes on other guys. It was a long time coming but I finally got out.

I had a previous one that was nearing a close when we began fighting all the time. It went from him being super agreeable on everything to him picking on every flaw. The last month or so of the relationship was mostly fighting and I think I knew it was over, just didn't want to admit it to myself.

On the rare times he would try to initiate intimacy, I found I would rather take care of myself. In our whole relationship I never felt the urge to masturbate, but towards the end I would wait for him to go to sleep so I could do that instead. The last six months of the relationship he developed chronic stomach issues (likely due to the chronic weed habit he refused to acknowledge or control) and while I took care of him at first (giving back massages, buying medicine, attending doctors appt, making him soup, drawing him a bath...) after a while I just stopped caring. He would complain about his stomach (refused to quit smoking or drinking so the issues returned repeatedly) and eventually I stopped feeling sorry for him. If he refused to take care of himself, so why should I bother? Ultimately, I knew it was over when I received my dream job offer that would take me abroad and he was the last person I bothered to tell. I knew he wouldn't be that happy for me and would more than likely say something to make it about himself. He did. I was done.

Like many of the other posters...everything he did pissed me off or disappointed me. Some things he did on purpose to piss me off, so I started growing resentful of that and towards the end, I couldn't deal with anything he said or how he laughed, etc. Wish I wouldn't have dated him from the beginning and I knew something was up. There was this feeling in my gut the entire time, I just didn't listen to it.

The fact that we dated for 2 years and he never made a move. Never kissed, held my hand, cuddled, or anything intimate. This is partly my fault because I always had anxiety being touched. But I got over that with my current boyfriend because he’s just so overly affectionate. Even though it made me anxious at first, it was like electric basically and I started to love the feeling of affection.

We were always fighting. But we always came back together. Very passionate. But it got worse and worse. The last time we gave things a try, even in the "good" moments, I'd look at him... and I just felt really... emotionally sober, if that makes sense.

I finally realized this isn't what I want. This isn't who I want. I want someone like __. I want to be able to do ___ with my partner. I want a partner that will/won't _____. Y'know?

I wasn't blinded by love anymore. I saw him for all of the bad he was and gave, without rationalization anymore. That breakup was the last one. And even though I hate giving up on things, I never looked back since. I finally felt and knew in my heart that he wasn't the one for me.

I feel like every chance you give is a slow sawing of the rope bonding you together. After it's cut, it's cut.

I was annoyed to even say "I love you too" because I knew it wasn't true. I hated saying it back because it's not in my character to be disingenuous but I really didn't want to hurt him. After a coworker started flirting with me I started to entertain that a little more. I enjoyed being bad and going behind his back to cheat on him. It was fun and I was getting the sex I was yearning for for the past few years. My ex and I bickered about him not pulling his weight in the relationship but then he finally started to after I checked out. He did things like made me dinner and I hated it. It was so forced. I ended it.

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Plot twist: The coworker who flirted with me is now my boyfriend of a few years and I could not be any happier.

I stopped feeling the same way about him, and like many others found a lot of things annoying. Plus it was an LDR and when the effort involved stopped seeming worthwhile (I can't think how else to word that, but perhaps not the greatest word choice) it was kind of a sign

I knew my previous relationship was close to its end when I started to have this gut feeling that something was off. To be honest, I sort of felt that way early on in the relationship but didnt heed my feelings. Then as the relationship progressed, I just felt this distance between us emotionally - like I felt that I wasnt being heard or that he was working at our relationship anymore. Also things were just about the physical (and even that wasnt all that great).

Well I ignored all the initial signs—not ever having anything to talk about, getting annoyed at every little thing he did, barely wanting to be around him anymore—and tried to make things work for a while, thinking maybe my feelings would come back. But at one point I realize I just didn’t see a real future with him. That was the biggest thing for me. That was the one thing I couldn’t fix and I knew I had to end things when I found the right time.
It was honestly the best decision of my life because had I not broken up with him when I did I would’ve never met the love of my life. We have such an amazing relationship and I couldn’t be happier.

For the women who said they became annoyed or disgusted by their partner by the end, was it because of something they did (or just being incompatible), or was it a capricious reaction on your part? As someone who has been on the receiving end of this but never felt it from my end, it seems bizarre to me to have such a feeling toward someone you love/loved if it's the latter.

Guy here if allowed.
I knew it was over when suddenly after 3 years the criticism started... the passive aggressive cynical hostility that she used to create discourse to the point of forcing me to sour on her and break it off.
Her perniciously building on frail specious theories repeatedly did the trick.

The signs were there all along about how incompatible we were/how uninterested in me as a person he was. Like, he said he loved me but he didn't want to hang out with my friends, wasn't really interested when I was talking about my day, and he rarely complimented me. Like the biggest complement he ever gave me was "you look really nice" when I was wearing a cute top. All the while I would actually listen to him when he talked about his day, was willing to hang out with his friends (though that never happened, he rarely hung out with anyone outside of me), complimented him etc etc. There was a ton of other things too, but really those were the core things. I wanted someone to live life with, not to leave at home and then have him uninterested in whatever stories I had to tell about exciting events in my life.

Near the end I went on a work conference for a few days and I had SO MUCH FUN. I also learned a lot about something I was interested in too. When I got back I am telling him about it and he's just not paying attention. He wasn't even pretending to be interested in what I was talking about. If I'm having more fun with friends than I do with him and if my friends are more interested in my day and my life than he is, what is the fucking point? Once I finally came to terms with that I couldn't put up with it anymore. I was in denial for a while but when I finally faced it I was just done. I still loved him and cared about him, but I did not want to live my life like that.

Now I'm in a relationship with someone who I consider my best friend and it's night and fucking day.

When it seemed as though we had reached the end of all of our on-going conversations.

There were a lot of obvious signs, but this was the clearest indication. We went for dinner one evening, and neither of us said a word to one another. Worst night of my life. How or why we stuck it out for another whole month after that, I will never know.

We had a very toxic, on-and-off relationship. He had trust issues from a past relationship, maybe even from his childhood, and constantly held me under fire for everything he feared I might do, even though I did none of it and was always honest with him. He was controlling: going through my phone without my permission, asking me gross hypotheticals waiting for me to say something he could find fault with, criticizing the clothes I wore as “too flirty,” sleeping with other girls during our “off” phase but saying he’d be so done with me if I ever slept with another guy, demanding I cut contact with certain people he feared might get too close to me.

It was so unhealthy and I knew it couldn’t last, but the good times did a number on me and I couldn’t pry myself away from him. The sex was great, I loved our moments just lying together and laughing together, he took care of me when I was sick, we were comfortable with each other, I liked his confidence and charisma. I went over to his place one night after we broke up (we were still sleeping together) and somehow we got into an argument that resulted in him screaming “Fuck you, you fucking bitch.”

I was devastated in that moment because I knew I would never, ever allow myself to be with someone who would disrespect me like that. I could never introduce such a person to my family or friends. Somehow I tolerated all the other bullshit, but not that. In a way, it was a blessing. Who knows how long I would have continued on with that self-destructive relationship if not for that jarring realization.

I haven’t been the same since. That relationship really brought up a lot of insecurity and self-doubt. My view of relationships is far more cautious and jaded than it used to be.