Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The overeducated and overindebted are well aware of the loneliness, despair, and financial desperation associated with pay cuts and joblessness. The feeling was summarized by Toiletlaw in the best couple sentences blogged recently:

...sending out resumes is a lot like being on a deserted island. Except in this version of castaway, we’re third tier toilet grads supping on ramen noodles, and instead of a painted volleyball, Wilson is instead the name of the Sallie Mae bill collector calling every 30 minutes asking when their money will come in. Other than that, metaphorically, we’re living the same meaningless life with little to call our own...

The literary professions are particularly hard hit during these times as set out in the post below - actually, come to think of it, where's my fucking paycheck Hardknocks?!?! - but I digress. Times are tough all over, and even Aunt Sallie's own are getting a taste of the toilet. Its CEO will need to somehow get by with a 35% pay cut:

An Associated Press calculation shows student loan provider Sallie Mae's CEO got compensation of $5.4 million last year, down 35 percent from 2008. The biggest cut was in the value of stock and options CEO Albert L. Lord received -- $3.1 million in 2009, down from $6.6 million...

Wow, brutal. Hey Al, if you need some recipes involving pasta, ramen, peanut butter, or cans of tuna, feel free to give me a shout. I'm here to help buddy. But Sallie Mae's executives aren't the only ones suffering:

When the government cuts corporate welfare, the business sector's loss is the taxpayers' gain.

Still, "it's tough when somebody eliminates 90 percent of your business through legislative mandate," Christopher Chapman, president and chief executive of Access Group Inc. in Wilmington, told me.

Yeah, that is tough. Real shame. Of course, I know how that feels since my business took about a 90% header following the Lehman Brother's failure, and I didn't even have a business model designed to ladle non-dischargeable debt onto unsuspecting 22 year olds. But, in any case, I feel for you, man.

Of course, on the bright side, graduates of New York Law School won't be quite as lonely!

Access has already cut 50 workers as the volume of newloans drops, and is trying to keep the other 365 staffers busyservicing old loans, Chapman told me.

Looks like Access Group debtors can look forward to a collection call every 15 minutes, instead of 30. That should help with the loneliness.