• The husband of the Muskegon woman who was caught on tape trying to hire a hit man to kill him has forgiven her and described her as “a wonderful person.” Other than, y’know, that little thing about wanting him dead and all. Hey, we all have bad days.

• So, say she gets a light sentence and they resume the marriage. How’s he going to sleep at night knowing she’s one pillow away? How’s he going to eat anything she cooks? How could you ever go to the Grand Canyon or up the Empire State Building with her? “Hey, honey, get closer to the edge so I can get a photo. That’s it. Closer. Closer. Now turn around …”

• I don’t think I could be that forgiving. Then again, I doubt I’d have the chance. If the lovely yet formidable Marcia wanted me dead, believe me, I’d be dead. She’d do it herself. With her bare heads. Or maybe a frying pan. And she’s so nice people would believe her when she said, “Gosh, I don’t know how it happened but the frying pan must have fallen on his head somehow. I’ll bet he was juggling with it. You know him.”

• Note to the prosecutor: Please make note of the preceding paragraph just in case. I’ve been pretty bad lately about leaving my underwear on the floor, so …

• Film star Mark Wahlberg stuck up for Detroit on Jimmy Fallon’s show the other night. Wish there was more celebrity love out there for Motown. It wouldn’t do anything about the city’s debt situation but it would help the city’s national rep.

• I have an idea – how about a benefit concert for Detroit? There was Farm Aid. What’s wrong with D Aid? Aid in the D? Show for the Mo?

• The recent cold snap made me realize how badly the endless winter and nonexistent spring damaged my poor, little psyche. Seriously, I need this summer. It can’t end now, for cripe’s sake. And yet MLive meteorologist Mark Torregrossa says August is shaping up to be a cool one. Noooo!

• I just read that Jay-Z has dropped the hyphen and is now Jay Z. Somehow I doubt this will live in my memory as an “I remember where I was when I heard” moment.

• My friend MJ just posted this: “My morning's reading brings this nugget: Professional baseball players whose names start with K, the symbol for strikeouts, strike out 9 percent more often than their peers.” That’s so utterly random I love it.

• The world’s first test-tube burger – made from meat grown in a lab - will be served in London next week. You’re thinking, “Gross.” But could it really be any worse than some of the fast-food meat you’ve eaten?

• My two cents: Anthony Weiner would win the New York mayoral race if he legally changed his name to Carlos Danger. It amuses people, and who wouldn’t want to have “Carlos Danger” on their side – as long as he’s not sending you texts.

• Need Has a Face. This week it looks like Mrs. Smith, who recently found a new home for her and her family. But they have no furniture. To help, call Jon Manse, North End Soup Kitchen, 810-785-6911. Information provided by Resource Genesee, 810-767-0500.

• “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” - Dorothy Nevill, 1826-1913, English writer.

Write to Andrew Heller at andrewhellercolumn@gmail.com. Follow Andy on Twitter and Facebook.