Which you can swallow or not, but I have a beef with this part in particular:

“However, the 20 year mark is simply when the last of the incentives expires. The Gigafactory itself will continue contributing economically to Nevada for much longer. Our automotive plant in California has been in operation for over 60 years with no foreseeable end in sight.”

Well, first of all, there’s nothing to stop Tesla or its successor from threatening to move away unless it receives another massive subsidy from the people of Nevada, right? So that’s just wrong.

But, more importantly, what’s up with this “over 60 years” thing? Let’s take a look.

Fremont Assembly began operations in 1963, right? 2014 minus 1963 = 51 years, right? 51 years is less than “over 60 years,” right?

And that doesn’t mean that this place was “in operation,” all that time, right?

And actually, it didn’t make sense to have such a big old GM factory in the Bay Area so it shut down in 1982. Let’s get some more deets:

“Operated as GM plant from 1963 to 1982, then became the site of NUMMI, GM’s joint venture with Toyota and the only major auto assembly plant remaining in California. Closed April 1, 2010, partially reopening as the Tesla Factory, an automobile assembly plant for Tesla Motors”

I’ll tell you, Supervisor Scott Wiener, for one, lives in fear of running afoul of these people, the very same people who vandalize the “no dogs allowed” signs our Feds put up on certain parts of our Federal lands:

Click to expand

Our Feds wonder why Bay Aryans can’t abide the rules the rest of America accepts with no trouble at all…

So look out, little Western Snow Plover. The dog pacs of the world say that you’re nothing special and that, in fact, you don’t even exist – they say there’s no such thing as a Western plover anything. OK fine.

So, unlike the disastrous America’s Cup and 8 Washington campaigns, the Golden State Warriors project is based around stuff that San Franciscans can actually benefit from.

So that’s a good sign.

Remember, the more you complain now, the better this deal gets for San Francisco. You the public are the bad cop and genial SFGov figurehead Ed Lee is the good cop. And of course the good cop won’t be able to get the best deal possible for San Francisco without the bad cop.

If Ed Lee doesn’t like this game, then he can just retire, right? Or go back to his old job the way he promised to in the first place, right?

“Another thing Elizabeth Stampe would like to see is “road diets.’ ”They take a road that’s kind of fat, like Sixth Street, which has a lot of lanes, and they reduce the number of travel lanes,’ Stampe said.”

So there I was feeding Pendragon and Tatsu yesterday (Veteran’s Day 2012) when I get a robocall at 7:07 PM* from Your Golden State Warriors basketball team, Caller ID 888 479 4667.

Appears that I’ll need to opt out to avoid getting another call at 7:00 PM tonight (a national holiday, Veterans Day 2012, observed) that’s going to turn into some big conference deal where I, yr obdt srvnt, will get to ask Management “any question” I want!

1. My first question will be this:

You motherfuckers want to charge us a 13% rate of return, guaranteed, on the new taxpayer-subsidized waterfront stadium deal? WTF? Isn’t that nuts? Isn’t that kind of shady?

“As presented in the Conceptual Framework, no public monies will be used to fund any portion of the multi-purpose venue or any other structure. The rehabilitation of Piers 30-32 will also be privately financed by GSW. The City will reimburse GSW for the infrastructure improvements to the Pier, which will remain in City ownership, up to $120 million with a 13 percent annual return on costs.”

Follow-up: What other Easter Eggs do you have hidden inside this deal, SFGov / Golden State Warriors? And does Willie Brown get a piece of the action, like with the wasteful and expensive Central Subway? Or like with Rose Pak and 8 Washington? Or like with Thomas (“Coates Likes Boats”) Coates and the America’s Cup financing boondoggle? Or like with Ron Conway and the corrupt Twitterloin? I mean, who’s profiting off of this public private partnership?

2. My second question will be this:

Do you promise not to allow Larry Ellison to ever ever ever be involved with the new stadium deal?

Let’s get that in writing, why not. I mean, I think we’ve had enough of that deadbeat wanting us to fund his hobbies, am I right Warriors Fans? That America’s Cup is costing us eight figures, which is money that Larry Ellison should reimburse us for, like right now, the deadbeat.

3. My third question will be this:

Is Casey on the line?

Or Karlee or Amira? You know, somebody who’s a veteran Warriors Girl. No rookies please. And then I’ll have a bunch more inquiries about what it’s like to be a WG in the 510.

Oh, wait a second, I’ll be at the office,** so your call just might go to VM, Warriors.

Oh well.

*The 20th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. Do you make all your spam calls on national holidays, GSW? Do you pay your robocallers, you know, a little extra for working evenings on a Sunday / national holiday? I hope so.

**Do I have the day off? No. Do I get paid extra for working on a national holiday. No. Oh well. Poor Pendragon. Poor Tatsu.

Now, Ocean Beach Dog, ooh, somebody over there got an off-leash ticket from the Feds a looooong time ago. (Can you guess what year by looking at the website design? Sure you can.) Oh well. Well, the Feds don’t like Ocean Beach Dog and people what behave like Ocean Beach Dog. The Feds consider us Whacko City, USA because of outfits like OBD, oh well.

Most dogs don’t bother the boids, of course. Can you see the snowy plover?

But some dogs do harass the birds. (These aren’t actually snowy plovers near Lawton and the Great Highway but the dogs don’t know or care about that.)

(Get those Ocean Beach birds, good boy!)

And here’s the sitch up in Crissy Field:

See the birds, see the unleashed dog?

Is is surprising to you that an unleashed dog could find and chase these plovers? What was surprising to me was to hear that this particular boid flew up from Morro Bay (where it was banded and which is like way south of here) all the way up to the Marina District:

PORTLAND, Ore.— In response to a Center for Biological Diversity lawsuit, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service today designated 24,527 acres (38 square miles) of critical habitat to protect the Pacific Coast population of threatened western snowy plovers in Washington, Oregon and California.

“Protecting critical habitat will help this lovely shorebird continue on the path to recovery,” said Tierra Curry, a conservation biologist at the Center. “Species with federally protected habitat are more than twice as likely to be moving toward recovery than species without it, so this puts a big safety net between plovers and extinction.”

Snowy plovers were listed as a threatened species under the Endangered Species Act in 1993, when the coastal population had dropped to 1,500 birds and plovers no longer bred at nearly two-thirds of their former nesting sites. That Endangered Species Act protection allowed the population to increase to more than 3,600 adults by 2010.

Plovers are recovering but still face many threats, including widespread and frequent disturbance of nesting sites by humans, vehicles and off-leash dogs; crushing by off-road vehicles; global climate change; pesticide use; and habitat loss.

The western snowy plover was first granted 19,474 acres of critical habitat in 1999. In 2005 the Bush administration illegally reduced the critical habitat to 12,145 acres, eliminating protection for thousands of acres scientists believed necessary for the snowy plover’s survival and abandoning key habitat areas crucial for recovery. In 2008 the Center sued over the unlawful reduction of the plover’s habitat protections, leading to a settlement agreement with the Service and today’s revised designation.

Today’s final rule includes the reinstatement of habitat areas identified by government scientists as essential that were improperly withdrawn in 2005; inclusion of some areas not currently occupied by plovers but important for their recovery; and addition of habitats such as back-dune systems in an attempt to offset anticipated effects of sea-level rise caused by climate change.

The western snowy plover is a shy, pocket-sized shorebird that weighs less than two ounces and lives for three years. Plovers forage for worms, insects and crustaceans in wet sand and in kelp that has washed ashore. The word “plover” is thought to come from the Old French”plovier” or “rain bird” because plovers were seen on sandy French beaches during spring rains.

The Center for Biological Diversity is a national, nonprofit conservation organization with more than 375,000 members and online activists dedicated to the protection of endangered species and wild places.”

By Monday afternoon however, the lawsuit had almost become moot, because the America’s Cup organizers dropped the news on our unsuspecting mayor that they were pulling out of almost all the development anticipated around the races.

I THINK THERE WAS A LOT OF “SUSPECTING” ON SUNDAY – ANYWAY, THE MAYOR _WASN’T_ SURPRISED. HE’S MORE CLEVER THAN HE LETS ON…

The first wave of tweets announcing the lawsuit did not come from San Francisco; instead the first barrage of tweets came from San Diego. This is not terribly surprising because if we do manage to screw this up, San Diego is going to roar in and take our event away from us, given that they already have shore facilities they have been expanding since they hosted the Cup in 1988.

WHO CARES WHAT SAN DIEGO DOES? AND HOW IS THIS “OUR” EVENT? WHO CARES IF SAN DIEGO WANTS TO HOST THE RACE?

It would not be the first time. After all, we lost out to New York City for the right to bid for the 2012 Summer Olympics.

And then we followed that up by enthusiastically coming up short by a country mile for the right to bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics.

WELL, BRAZIL WANTED IT TOO, RIGHT? THEY’VE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE. DON’T THEY DESERVE A CHANCE?

This performance mirrored our still unexplained belly flop on the bid to host the World Cup, where people still don’t know whether we actually submitted our bid or not.

OOH, THE WORLD CUP? BUT DIDN’T THE BAY AREA ALREADY HAVE ONE OF THESE?

Right in the middle of all this we also managed to chase the San Francisco Grand Prix bicycle race out of town. So it’s not like we don’t have a track record at screwing this sort of thing up.

WHY DO WE NEED ANY OF THESE EVENTS? OH, AND YOU’RE FORGETTING ABOUT THE WORLD EXPO. YOU KNOW, THE EVENT THAT CHINA LOST A BUNDLE ON, AND BEFORE THAT, THE JAPANESE, AND BEFORE THAT, THE GERMANS.

And at this point it has gone past just your garden variety NIMBY-ism to become a genuine threat to the growth of our city.

WHY DO WE NEED TO GROW?

Which brings us back to the Cup. Three things have to be made clear here. First off, enough of the “we hate Larry Ellison” blather.

WHY’S THAT? HE _IS_ A DEFECTIVE HUMAN BEING, RIGHT?

We can’t negotiate with the America’s Cup because they are backed by a billionaire?

NO, IT’S BECAUSE HE’S A BILLIONAIRE IS WHY HE EXPECTS US TO PAY NINE FIGURES FOR A BOAT PARTY IN HIS HONOR.

Newsflash for the irretrievably clueless: with the exception of the Green Bay Packers, every sports team in the country is owned by a bazillionaire.

THAT’S FINE, BUT WHAT HE WAS OFFERING WAS WAY OFF. IT WASN’T EVEN CLOSE.

It’s odd, isn’t it? When we hear about the city negotiating with the 49ers, the Giants, or even the Warriors, the net worth of their owners never enters the conversation.

THE WARRIORS AREN’T ASKING US TO PAY FOR THEM. THE GIANTS AND THE NINERS AREN’T EITHER. WHY IS IT THAT THE 1% SPORTS NEED THE MONEY OF THE 99% BUT THE 99% SPORTS ARE ON THEIR OWN?

But when it’s Ellison, people head to the barricades. This is just another sports team, one where none of the sailors racing in the cup make as much as your average football player makes on one Sunday.

IT’S A DECIDEDLY UNPOPULAR TEAM, ONE THAT NOBODY KNOWS OR CARES ABOUT. WHO ARE THE “PLAYERS?” NOBODY KNOWS OR CARES. WHY SHOULD SAN FRANCISCO EDUCATE PEOPLE ABOUT A SINGLE RACE THAT A SOLITARY BILLIONAIRE CONTROLS?

Yes it’s Larry, yes everyone seems to hate him, but it should have no bearing on this.

WELL, IF HE WERE KICKING MONEY IN, THEN PEOPLE WOULD LIKE HIM MORE. WHY DIDN’T HE OFFER A HALF BILLION OR SOMETHING?

Second, let’s talk about the development deal that just went off the table. People seem to be all bent out of shape about what we were giving up, but here is the thing: We actually didn’t give up anything, as those piers are unusable today. One Supervisor gave me the actual price tag to fix up all the piers on the waterfront, and it’s enough to make your hair stand on end (hint, it’s over $2 billion). The city does not have the money to fix them, and it probably never will. Someone is going to wind up developing those piers for profit instead of the city, and that’s just the sad truth.

WELL THAT’S OK. ANYTHING’S BETTER THAN THE AMERICA’S CUP DEAL.

Third, in current San Francisco fashion, we are only looking at the short-term. Having Ellison’s group lay in some serious investment, including development deals, means greater incentive for them to stay in San Francisco if they successfully defend the Cup.

THE AMERICA’S CUP IS A JOKE, RIGHT? IS IT A LEGITIMATE SPORT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

All this development is for this Cup. If we get another Cup, or even two down the road, then the city makes out like a bandit. But by pulling all their development off the table, the Cup organizers have shaken the hook out of their mouth.

FLY AWAY FISHY. YOU DON’T WANT TO BE HERE, IT LOOKS LIKE, SO WHY DON’T YOU LEAVE?

Once again, San Diego is grinning and rubbing their hands in anticipation.

‘CAUSE THEY MADE SOOOOOO MUCH MONEY ON THAT RECENT WORLD SERIES EVENT WHAT NOBODY WENT TO SEE?

We have arrived at the point where today the only development deal that has a chance of being approved is one that is utterly perfect in every way.

And it’s also not coincidental that the same day we get the news about the Cup, Salesforce.com announces they are halting their new development in Mission Bay.

ACTUALLY, DUDE. IT _IS_ COINCIDENTAL.

At some point it has to stop. To never change anything, to never create new development with a new tax base and new jobs and new residents is to risk us becoming the Detroit of the West, with the Hibernia Bank Building as our Parthenon of Passivity.

THAT BUILDING HAS OTHER ISSUES, BUT ANYWAY.

What, you don’t know that building?

I THINK MOST PEOPLE IN TOWN KNOW THAT BUILDING. IT’S THE ONE THAT PATTY HEARST DIDN’T ROB

You should, as it stands as another icon of our inability to get rational development completed in this town.

WELL THAT’S ONE OPINION. BUT DO YOU WANT THE CITY TO PAY TO FIX UP THIS BUILDING? THAT WOULD BE LOTS CHEAPER THAN THE AMERICA’S CUP OR THE CENTRAL SUBWAY.

Even worse, at some point our reputation for being impossible to work with will make all of this a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t think that’s likely? When we were shot down for the 2016 Olympics, one of the reasons cited by the bid committee was a “damaged reputation” due to failed negotiations surrounding the 49ers’ stadium.

WELL MAYBE WILLIE BROWN SHOULDN’T HAVE FIXED THAT ELECTION. WHY NOT LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

In other words, if you can’t even get a stadium figured out with own team, how are you going to figure out an Olympics?

WHY DO WE NEED THE OLYMPICS? WOULDN’T MOST OF THE BENEFITS ACCRUE TO THE POLITICAL AND BUSINESS AND MEDIA CLASS? HOW WOULD SAN FRANCISCANS AS A WHOLE BENEFIT?

A boat race is a strange place to draw the line. But the Cup really does represent all the political insanity that we seem to trade in these days. Don’t do business with the 1%.

NOT ON THESE TERMS, THAT’S RIGHT, DON’T DO BUSINESS WITH THEM.

Fight anything that smacks of gentrification. Make decisions that are more policy statements than legislation. Get a bunch of piers fixed that we can’t afford to repair? That sounds like a horrible idea.

UNDER THE TERMS NEGOTIATED, YES IT WAS.

All those construction jobs you just wiped out?

THEY WEREN’T WIPED OUT BECAUSE THEY NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Not a big deal either, because we showed Larry.

ACTUALLY, WE _DID_ SHOW LARRY, THAT FUCKING DOUCHE.

At night we can return to our homes, and smugly watch as our piers collapse into the bay one after another. On the other hand, it will give us something to do before the Cup comes on television.

NOBODY WILL WATCH THE AMERICA’S CUP ON TELEVISION. (BY THE WAY, THE AMERICA’S CUP PEOPLE ARE _PAYING_ NBC TO BROADCAST THIS EVENT. WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?)