Frustration… Procrastination… Those Damn ‘tions…

English: A Diagram of procrastination cycle. Task features, internal factors, irrational beliefs, behavior and consequences are shown. used for a university assessment. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am at a point now in my life where things are pretty much exactly how I want them (minus the ‘I’m rich’ status). I have an amazing man in my life. He pretty much encompasses everything I ever wanted in a guy (he doesn’t like sports – but I look past that!) right down to the way he touches me and tells me he loves me. There are so many other things that have happened in my life in the last 6+ years… I sat here tonight and thought… “I am truly humbled.”

See, everything was so overwhelming when I first got sober… I had truly hit rock bottom. I was living in my enabler’s basement, my kids were taken from me by Youth Services and I was unemployable. I remember dropping to my knees one night as I sobbed and begged God to help me. God heard me and stepped in. Of course, I had to do the footwork. I did that footwork with such thirst and hunger… I still do the footwork to stay sober. Staying clean and sober is an ongoing process that requires little thought on some days and a lot of prayer on others. I can’t remember the last time I actually craved a drink or drug. I am fortunate in that sense… there are times at meetings I hear people share about how they “want to drink.” I am not saying I am immune to ever picking up a drink, but I can’t go there. Me picking up a drink or a drug is like an average human being walking in front of an oncoming train. Suicide.

FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD

The statement above is one of the truest I have ever read. Think about it. You can pray for a new job, a new home, more patience or a smaller butt, but those things are NOT going to fall into your lap without striving toward them. I prayed for a new job in 2007 and busted my ass looking for one. I found a great one. I prayed for guidance with my previous relationship. All the clues pointed to ending it and I did so. I could go on and on….

Here is where things get iffy. All the ‘tions’ I mentioned in the post title.. those are character defects. Or as my Al-anon sponsor says (I’m ad-libbing here) “character defects are strengths unchecked.”

My biggest character defect is PROCRASTINATION. I am so good at it, I could probably teach it as an art form at the local community college. I come up with excuse after excuse and reason after reason for not doing what I need to do to go where I need to go. Facebook of course is a huge catalyst in my procrastination, but really it is me. I am the culprit; my own worst enemy to throw a cliché out there.

So I started thinking: How can I stop procrastinating? Because procrastinating and not doing what I need to leads to an overwhelming amount of frustration. I’ll tell you how I can stop.

JUST STOP PROCRASTINATING AND START DOING! JUST DO IT ALREADY! There is no magic pill that will help me with this crap. There is no book, no seminar, no class, no pill, no drink, no anything that will help me do what I need to do… I just have to do it.

I want to publish my novel that I wrote in November of 2011… hasn’t happened because I haven ‘t done anything about it.

I want to score a cushy writing deal regarding alcoholism/addiction so I can help others and myself… hasn’t happened because I am inconsistent.

So there is the cycle. I want to change my life… I procrastinate.. I get frustrated.. I give up. And it goes on and on and I am exactly where I always am which is exactly where I do not want to be (in terms of a career).

So if I have faith that things will go the way they should go and I do the footwork to make my goals, dreams and aspirations come true, things will fall magically into place.

Hey Darlene,
I swear you have to be my sister from another mother or something. This post described me from pretty much the beginning to end (and sent me off on a day of looking for a gear–any would have done, lol).

I related most to ‘inconsistent’; doing-nothing-toward-my-dream resonated well too. Too well, actually. I’m trying to do the ‘I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in God’s plan” on the latter, but that could easily double as an excuse. I have, however, spent the last month studying story structure in earnest. The idea is to get the next novel off the ground with the knowledge, to finally finish the trilogy I’ve wanted to complete for about two years now. (And hey, I miss first draft and revision too.)

The ‘lazy hump’: Hmm. Not sure I’d call it that, though maybe I’ve got some serious avoidance going on. (Program keeps me honest, huh?) When I can’t ‘do’ I work hard at teaching myself. I also judge in a couple of fiction contests annually, so when I can’t do I ‘teach.’

Excellent post. Thanks! Keep us posted on how you’re getting past the ‘lazy hump.’ I’d love to read your experience, strength and hope on that one. Have a great weekend!