Does it really end like this? I only felt sick when they brought in the geraniums. I was fine before that. I'm looking at them now and can't help thinking it's all wrong. They're not supposed to be here, not like this, among the bottles of pills and the smell of disinfectant.

I'm trying to see the beauty in them, like I used to. Trying to imagine the brushstrokes I'd make but can't. They look gauche. The petals are on the orange side of red - the wrong side of red - and it jars in this room. Funny that, the only bit of real life in here and they're the one thing that look artificial.

I know what you'd say, I can hear you. You'd say: stop looking at them so hard pet. Take a break. Try looking where they're not, the space between. Yeah, that's right, look at the negative space. Draw that, draw the nothing and the something will just appear.

Well I'm doing it again now, I'm focusing on the something too much and I can eel the nothing getting closer.