Friday, September 21, 2007

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

I'm trying to be positive - I can't think of anything. That's why this post is short. I know you all know what is going on in my brain, in my heart, my chest - so, I won't write it. You're experiencing the same things - I don't know if I can do this for 2 + years...it hurts.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Two things for today. First, my 3-year-old. I love him. But, come 3:45pm each day it gets a little harder...let me explain. 3:45 is when my older boys get off of the bus and walk in the door from school - 3:45 is when O's board shorts out and he becomes some sort of wild maniac. He runs around in circles through the house yelling things like, "YOU'RE GONNA FIND COWS ON A COW FARM!!" or "E I B.Y.U.!!" in a not-so-sweet-3-year-old-roar. Seriously. It is exhausting. When 8:00 finally rolls around I welcome it with open arms and lay my baby to bed. Within seconds (literally) he is asleep. This past week I have had him in bed before 8 - more like 7:30. Sweet Serenity.

Second thing: There is this store, that will remain nameless, that, on occasion I visit, because sometimes their prices cannot be beat. I do most of the time avoid this particular store because I am fairly certain it could be considered a present-day leper colony. I broke down this past week and went there to buy some dishes - I was amazed that there was that fabulous of dishes there to begin with. I originally found them on Am@zon . But with a little bit of research I found them at the other store for less. So, I jumped in the car and ran there, bought them and ran out without any weird happenings. When I got home and was unpacking them I realized that one dish was broke. So, I jumped back in the car, receipt in hand to customer service to a "quick" exchange. 1 hour later (not exaggerating here) I finally got up to the clerk with bleach blonde hair and black roots, sparkly nails that were at least 1 inch long, and b**bs hanging out of her blue vest. (Nothing against big b**bed blondes here - wish I was one instead of a flat chested red-head that I am - it just looked like she had been around the block a few times). Anyhoo, after arguing for several minutes about which price on my receipt was correct I finally got my money back and ran into the depths of the store to grab another box of fabulous dishes. I swerved my cart in and out of people who looked as if they have not visited a shower or a mirror in at least 96 hours. After walking the isles 13 times I realized they were completely out of the fabulous dishes - completely frustrated and frazzled I sprinted out of the store to home down to my basement and ordered them off Am@zon - they should be here in 7-10 days. I swore to myself then and there I would never go back to that store. Sadly, I report, my Mother-in-Law called to inform me we are having family pictures taken there Saturday because she can get like 300 pictures for $5.88. I wonder if that clerk will let me borrow her blue vest for our pictures - It would be only fitting...ugh.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Thanks for listening to me vent and rant and rave. You are all wonderful. You have no idea how much I appreciate your kind and empathetic words. I know it probably sounds weird - but, it is a comfort to know that someone else has dealt with this same situation and made it through without becoming a horrible person.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Update: I am now up to $8.00. Although I did find out G will pay in advance and money doesn't mean much to O...not sure what to do there.

I set a new rule at my house. I get a quarter for every time someone passes gas (while not in a locked bathroom) - fake noises included. I set the new rule this weekend after visiting my parents with E and he flops down on their beautiful leather couch in his sweaty football uniform and proceeds to just let it fly without reservation. G is obsessed right now with armpit farts and continuously did it while sitting at a restaurant on Friday evening. O has no shame and he is only 3. Since yesterday at 6:00pm and I have made a total of $3.25. At this rate my kids are going to pay my way to China. I am SO sick of my kids have no manners and just being completely disgusting. I am sick of having to roll down the windows in my car while it is 104 degrees outside while my boys are rolling with laughter in the backseat. I am tired of having to apologize to other adults in restaurants and grocery stores because my 3-year-old thinks the funniest sound in the world comes out is butt. Honestly, it is exhausting and disgusting.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Today is our 1 year LID anniversary. It is hard for me to believe it has been 12 months. In some ways it has flown by - in others, time seems at a standstill. I am strangely at peace lately. This wait is hard, but, I believe I've accepted it. I've thought a lot about my daughter (I always do), but, she is constantly on my mind lately. I feel so close to her and connected with her. I pray that these feelings will just intensify when she is finally comes home and grows into womanhood. I ache for a daughter. I am very close to all of my sons, but, I ache to feel that closeness with my daughter too. I haven't started her room yet. It's not that I haven't wanted to, it's just that I haven't made the time. Her closet is exploding with "stuff"...clothes, bedding, shoes. Her crib is in our office waiting to be moved upstairs and put together. But, I'm not planning on doing anything right now. It will all sit in boxes, on hangers with tags on until the time is right. But, today, for now, she will live in my heart.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

I cannot tell you what an amazing time I had in Georgia at bloggerfest. I almost chickened out the day before. I am SO glad I didn't. I fell in love with everyone I met and spent time with. If China new the caliber of women that are waiting to bring our daughters home - there would not be this blasted wait going on. I feel completely blessed to have had the experiences there with all of you.

Melissa - you and your hubs are the most generous and kind people I have ever met. Your home is beautiful and you have me wishing I lived in Georgia - even if I felt like I was suffocating in the humidity.

Tracy - you are even more amazing in person. I felt a connection with you since day one and I am lucky to have spent time with you. I truly consider you a dear friend and I am grateful for that friendship even more now. I hope to see you in FLA soon!

Susie - you were a wonderful travel bud - even if you did sleep in FOREVER!! (just teasin') ;0) Thanks for dealing with my bossiness! You truly are one of the sweetest people I know. I am SO excited to travel to China with you. I know it is not coincidence we met

Krista - I thought of you today when I saw a bumper sticker that said - "Margarita-ville University" and, if I drank I would have you make mine! I love your spunky and sarcastic sense of humor...I wonder why??? Someday I will visit you in Daytona ;)

Connie - I never stopped laughing because of you. You are witty, funny, and a true intellect. You are my true fine hair, red-headed friend - a kinship only you and I can understand.

Kris - What can I say? I feel a friendship and admiriation for you. Even on the first night when I put my foot in my mouth - you still gave me a chance - thank you. You are an amazing woman. Thanks for the tips on photog. - I am inspiried by you - truly.

Stacey - You are kind and sweet - I wish I could be more like you.

Maryellen - You are funny, hip and an amazing mom. I need your sense of humor and outlook on life.

Alison and Mali - There is no better pair than the 2 of you. You were meant to be together and it illuminates from you both.

Heather - Thanks for the shovel - I know I will get to China a little faster now! Thanks for making me some virigin drinks...YUM! You are perhaps one of the funniest and beautiful women I have have ever met. You light up the room.

Angela - Your sweet voice still rings in my head and heart. I don't think I've ever met anyone so sweet in all of my life.

Lisa - I could feel the love and excitement you had to FINALLY bring Briana home. You gave me hope that my day will come too.

Lisa and Maisie - Beautiful mom and daughter! Fabulous cook, good friend, and radiant spirits. I am SO excited to see you both again!!

Debbie & Kathy - I didn't get to know you as much as I would have liked, but, I feel fortunate to have met you and hope to meet you again in the future.

I have been working on this post for days now and the words still don't feel right. I don't know how to put into words the connection and friendship I feel with all of you. It started for me as a simple connection of circumstance - we are all women waiting to adopt our daughters from China. Which is a big deal in as of itself - but, now it is deeper. You are my friends, my kindred spirits, and in a way my family. I love you all. It sounds cliche', but I mean it - I really do. Thank you for everything - the memories, the gifts, the laughs, the tears...most of all, your friendship.

P.S.

And, just for the record. Next time I am NOT staying in a hotel - I missed WAY too much.

Friday, June 29, 2007

A quick hello to say we are still homeless and lord help me this is going to be the longest month of my life...

To keep the hair saga going - my hair is no longer old-lady-ish. But, because of a stylist that has a much wilder wild side than me my hair is borderline maroon. I am a real red-head. But, Tuesday I became a "Fake Red-head" - (sorry Kev...I've disappointed our 2% of the population and gone fake...)I've always been proud to be a red-head - but, for some reason I decided the a change needed to happen. And now each morning when I wake I look in the mirror and look at my reflection and say "oh yah, crap...I dyed my hair..." For those of you who may see me within the next 6-8 weeks - feel free to laugh in front of me - I do each time I see myself. I have a sense of humor and I find it refreshing to laugh through a crisis. And yes - this hair is a crisis...

Tawnijo's Blog

This is my place to write about life, the love of my life - John, my E.G.O. boys, my frustrations, moments, and nothings. It is also dedicated as well for recording my journey to our future daughter A in China (LID 8/15/06)...I am coming for you baby.