Monday, October 3, 2011

Because we must

Well, I firmly believe that writers blog for the same reason they write. They must. It's similar to mountains and mountain climbers. It's there, so it must be climbed. The words exist, so they must be put down. Hell, I've been writing stories since elementary school. In my case, I always felt the stories churning around in my head and had to get them out on paper. It's like a sore in your mouth. You know it hurts to touch it, but you still poke at it with your tongue.

I can't help but write. I get antsy if I don't write, but I also have a love-hate relationship with writing. I'll go through spurts where I write nonstop. I throw every word in my head onto the page and then some.... And then I look at what I've written and trash it because I am convinced it sucks. I feel like it is the worst writing that has ever been since the first caveman (or woman) spit paint around their hand. I understand this is a common problem with writers. We are our own worst critics.

I haven't figured out how to get past that yet. I'm open to suggestions, because I have several half-started books kicking around and random story bits that never seem to get finished. Part of it may be my ADD/perfectionism, though. I have so many partial projects and so few completed ones. It's scary. I think that's where my difficulty in applying to grad school is stemming from as well. What if I get in, and I'm told my writing sucks. I can take constructive criticism, but to be told that I CANNOT write would be horrible.

It doesn't even matter that I know I am at least a passable writer. It doesn't matter that I have had people nag me to finish stories so they could read them... I still am convinced all my writing is horrible... So I hide it away and only let it out occasionally. I want to finish my book(s). I know where I want the stories to go. Unfortunately, I sit down to work on them and end up getting distracted by revising... Which leads me to reading them... Which causes me to think: "This is horrible! No one wants to read this!" And then I abandon writing it for another few months, only to start the process again.

I think, this November, I am actually going to buckle down and do NaNoWriMo... Anyone want to do it with me?

2 comments:

When I write, I just keep writing down my thoughts whether or not they make sense. I don't worry about grammar or sentence structure, I just put raw thoughts on paper. Usually I begin with one or two thoughts and they lead me to other thoughts. By the time I'm done, I go back to adjust what I wrote. Usually when I let my thoughts free flow onto the paper, it doesn't need a lot of revision.

I'm finding for me that the key to most things in life is stop trying so hard.