I am the essence of overconfidence! I am speculation, adventure; the spirit of pursuit; the stag howling for its winsome yet anonymous mate. I am the love call of evolution; the perfume and color of the flowers as they offer their pollen to the gentle buzz of the bees.
I am sex itself, gentlemen. I am life. I am appetite!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Movie Review: This nonsense called 'Don' - 100% Style 0% Substance

It is funny why people have guns in this movie. More funnier when they choose to point guns at Sharukh Khan. Nobody can shoot him. Even from point blank range. He quickly grabs the gun and does some fight like thing and they are all knocked down. From the first scene until the last scene he does this. 2 or 3 duffers point a gun at him at point-blank range. He turns and grabs the gun like he is grabbing a lolli pop. The other guys do nothing except get knocked down. In line with the 'no substance' theme of this movie - There is a pathetic pre-title Bond-like intro scene. You expect 'Don' to squeeze out of a tight situation in an intelligent fashion. The moment you understand that all he does is grab guns before the other guy can shoot, you are prepared for a 2 more hours of sub-Rajinikanth level logic, which really doesnt stop until the shabbily done moonraker-rip off scene at the end.

This movie fits into the bollywood stereo type though. A handsome actor, 2-3 hot babes, expensive locales, completely choclatey, nothing resembles anything real world. There are agents from interpol, Indian police etc in Malasiya. It almost seems like Indian ploice has a station in Malasiya. None of the twists and turns in this movie makes any sense. Dont even expect logic. I almost puked in one scene. Vijay replaces 'Don' and caims he has amnesia. In a kindergarten like logic he reasons (almost talks to the audience) that something big needs to be orchestrated for him to regain his memory. So De Silva and Vijay arrange a police-chase. All Vijay does to create the 'big event' is take his car under a truck and then take an exit ramp. Thats the big event and voila! he has his memory back. I would like to find out who wrote these trashy, cheap and cliched dialogs and kill the person. The writers of starwars have done shakespearian work compared to these writers. There is a scene where 'Don' is supposed to go for a deal. Narang wants Roma to accompany 'Don'. Don objects then later his wife objects. Roma's retort to Don's wife must be saved and archived some where. She spits out some crap, which must have had the audience vomitting in unision.

There is this pretense that 'Roma' has a role with substance. But she does not. Nobody has any role that is anything more than superficial. Kareena loses her husband, cries 2 tear drops and wipes it with a corner of her hanky making sure her make-up doesnt go away and in 5 seconds she is seducing Don - in a silly scene. Roma's dialogs are banal and she cant act at all. My god nobody is more below average than this chic. There is this guy who plays a role called Jasjit. Among the people who could not act in this movie Jasjit couldn't act the most. He is what Seinfeld would call a 'Mimbo' (while Roma, Kareena etc are Bimbos). I wonder who that actor is. I havent seen many SRK movies. This is probably my second or third ( I know I saw Dilse. I cant recollect anything else). He is stylish has that spunk about him and looks cool. But he is no Amithabh Bachan. Seriously! None of these new guys beat Amithabh. All the twists and turns in the movies second half are poorly poorly done. 1 hours before that twist comes the director practically writes it on a board and announces it to us. None of those twists are a surprise and if you couldn't guess it your IQ is less than Farhan Akthar's (in short its less than 3). This director is the epitome of show biz. He has made every frame in the movie rich and plastic. Every single frame. Even the villages in India look like a scene out of Wizard of Oz.

One word: Superficial

See the video from the old 'Don' featuring Amithabh to flush out the bad taste of seeing the new 'Don' from your mouth. Don should never have been redone. The original was just too good and far ahead of its time. It gives an impression that Hindi cinema hasnt improved from the time the original Don was released.

25 comments:

Like this only I thought about 'Umrao Jaan'- the Aishwarya starer. How can Aishwarya replace REKHA etc?.But when I saw it I was pleasantly suprised. The UJ 2006 adds more dimensions to the story and the character than the 1981 version. I also have to admit that I liked Aishwarya's portrayal of Umrao Jaan better than Rekha's. -- I think I should write a post not take up your comment space. But if you get a chance watch it.

The lastest Don was not made to over take its predecessor . One can never think of making better product than its original .

Even if u see chandramukhi which is a mega hit in Tamil Nadu, there are a number of silly points in it like the person who makes the keys for the door will die and our mega hero does not even get a small bash .

Another fab movie vettaiyadu vilaiyadu is also a utter crap , where one uses Raghavan's scence to find criminals where the FBI is holding its hands and seeing him.what is joke it was ...

If u say that Hindi Cinema has not grown , it is so with all other Indian Languages which include Telugu and Tamil which i see a lot .

Mr I says Hindi film audience is the stupidest in the world.Then how does he know that Hindi films are bad if he is not one among the audience.

My bottom line , Dont find loop holes in a movie if u are able to enjoy it .

oh no ..he isnt amitabh..there can be no one like amitabh .women like him because he has perfected the art of playing this romantic loverboy called raj/rahul.However i did like him in swades..restrained acting for the first time

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Hawkeye somehow managed to get educated, switch careers from engineering to business and secure gainful employment. He got employed because he failed to achieve his ultimate goal of becoming a house husband. He does not believe in luck but thinks he is the most unluckiest man in the world (read disclaimer). Such self-contradictory thoughts continue to separate the author from reality. He claims he can 'do humor' because he cant be taken seriously.Hawkeye is a nomad, a wanderer who has studied in more schools and lived in more places than he cares to remember. He has travelled to many many states within India and has seen almost all the important vacation spots. He constantly tries to bring in "I went to switzerland for my honeymoon" in unrelated conversations (like this one) and hopes to visit all the other countries in Europe. Loves to visit and learn historical information about Indian Temples. He is ramping up on the ancient metaphysical philosphy called Vishishta-Advaitha ( Qualified Non-Dualism) and loves to talk about it with anybody who claims to be an expert.