Season 2, Disc 4 has some Bonus Features on it and I figured I could share them with y’all as a little extra sumthin’ sumthin’ between seasons…

So there are only 2 Special Features for the whole season. The menu says, “see other discs for additional special features” but that’s a load of shit. Trust me, I checked. At least we get that amazing photo of the Tanner family that accompanies the menu. Where could they possibly have been going that required them to dress like that?

So anyway, the special features are, “Full House Rules of Parenting” and “Full House Trivia Challenge.” I thought the “Rules of Parenting” might be pretty great because it would provide an overview all of the backwards parenting methods you see on the show, like, “pay way too much attention to your kids so they act all pushy and obnoxious all the time, ” or, “if you’re gonna fuck your daughters Spanish teacher, you’d better wait until after the semester’s over.” But unfortunately it’s just a clips montage.

The clip are really choppy and fast-paced, so much so that they often feel taken out of context, and there are really cheap animated gags inserted throughout the collection. The “Rules” themselves are fairly arbitrary, and only serve the purpose of introducing a few quasi-related clips. One of the “rules” is, “always make a good impression,” which ironically prompts a collection of Joeys horrendous impressions, and the final “rule” is, “always remember to…have mercy.” So basically the whole thing’s just a total waste of time. Why would anyone want to watch a collection of clips from the second season at the end of the DVD set anyway? I just saw all those scenes. My guess is that some intern got his video editing credit at film school for putting this thing together and since it didn’t cost anything to make it fell right within the budget of this DVD set.

The other special feature is a trivia challenge that utilizes a series of interactive menus to ask you multiple choice trivia questions about moments from Season 2.

Even though the questions were written for the type of braindead fuckwit that would actually watch this show for laughs and they were all based on episodes I’d just watched, i cant help but feel a deep sense of shame for having gotten a perfect score. I actually earned the rank of “Full House Fanatic.” Man, what a wake-up call! Why couldn’t I have just peed blood? Why’d I have to get the Full House wake-up call? Fuck my life.

I don’t know if you can tell by my pic, but I actually came across a t-shirt in a department store that has the same picture that they used for the special features. Why they used this bizarre photo of the Tanner family looking like a Hawaiian vacation threw up on them (except for Uncle Jesse, who obviously thought such get-up would tarnish his image as a Elvis-lovin’, Harley-ridin’ stud and opted for green corduroys instead) I’ll never know. In fact, why they chose ANY photo of the Tanner family is beyond me. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the fact that whoever produced these shirts actually expected people to pay real money for this. I almost wish that I’d seen someone wearing this shirt out in public so I could punch them straight in the face.
And thank you for this blog, from one of those the people who fuck around all day at a desk job