Healthy Rants, Episode 2: People who count the number of items in your shopping cart

Listen, my husband will be the first to tell you; I am a rule follower. I walk in crosswalks, I wait my turn in line, I use my blinker, etc. HOWEVER: if I have anywhere from 15-20 items in my shopping cart and the limit is 15 items, I feel that it is my right as an AMERICAN to take the liberty of going through an express line.

The point of an express line is to be FAST. I promise my extra THREE ITEMS will not delay all of the important things you have to do today for more than 15 seconds.

I’m not going to be ageist here, but I am going to say that the only people who do this are over 65. They are the one in front of you and casually (not casually) look into your cart and then at you dead in the eye. WHAT? BUZZ OFF BETTY NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

Also, there are some legitimate questions that need to be answered here

How does one count bananas? Is it “one” bunch?? Do seven bananas count for seven items?

What about a Buy one, Get one deal? This second item is free, Betty. Therefore, does it technically count as an item I’m purchasing? Don’t ruin BOGO’s for everyone. They are one of life’s precious treasures.

It is important to note that if some person walks into the line looking like they’ve bought enough for a family of 7, they’re an a**hole, or they didn’t see the sign.