Welcome to the Official Website of the Disjointed Jewish Communities of Creedmoor.
Dovid Schmoigerman is the Admou"r meCreedmoor, leader of an extremist anti-Zionist Chassidic communiity comprised of his own 150 quintillion multiple personalities, all registered for welfare, food stamps and other entitlement programs while residing in abandoned buildings located on the campus of the Creedmoor Psychiatric Hospital, as well as in Alcatraz and on the Former Planet Known as Pluto.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Urgent Request!

Rachmones cases bnei rachmones cases:

We are very sad to announce that over 19,000,000 of the Admour's multiple personalities are about to be stricken from the welfare rolls of the state of Alaska. Apparently, the Alaskan authorities are suspicious of the fact that they have more welfare recipients than the entire known population of the state, including salmon, grizzly bears and the occasional polar bear. In addition, "Blimi Werczberger-Schmoigerman" and "Joel Feketeszar", to name just two examples, do not seem to be authentic Alaskan names. All protests that these are ancestral Inuit names spelled in Mandarin fashion are falling on deaf ears, and the authorities are about to persecute the perpetrator of these supposedly unauthentic welfare registrations.

So, we are asking all supporters, moral, athletic, and otherwise, of the Creedmoorer chassidus, to please recite 80 names from page 90 of your local phone book, followed by 90 names from page 80 of said book, 170 times while standing on your heads. The heiligkeit of the gematria pay tzaddik is very well known, and in the zechis of this hyliger gematriya, we know that all of these names will remain on the welfare rolls at least until the Admou"r manages to figure out that Inuit and Ingarish are two different languages.

About Me

I am the Creedmoor Chronicler, the journalist who found Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman wallowing in three tons of ashes produced by the burning of a multi-use warehouse complex in Red Hook just before real estate values there skyrocketed...