Month: January 2016

Here at Lazy Planet we believe that travelling the world shouldn’t be a hassle. But so often it bloody is. So we don’t bother.

Our dedicated team of Lazy Planet bloggers firmly refuses to travel the globe searching for the best spots to eat, the most amazing sights to see and things to do, preferring to let others do the work while sitting with their feet up and a grande latte in their hands, surfing the web. Sometimes they just make stuff up. We’re those kind of people.

It’s said that if you want to know more about a place you have to act like you live there. Or actually just go live there. And that just sounds like too much hard work. So, we’ve guessed.

We hope you find some useful titbits that will enhance your visit to whatever marvellous city break you’re going on or fabulous beach resort you’ve discovered, but if you don’t, I’m afraid we honestly don’t give a spaff.

Here are some pictures of people enjoying themselves we’ve stolen off of the internet.

One of the most vibrant cities in the Southeast of England on the Thames Estuary. Whether you’re just here for the day, or tied to a life of toil and drudgery by actually living here, we’ve come together to pull together the best places to visit and sites to see!

London is England’s Capital and there are all kinds of Capital attractions here for the visitor and the resident alike. Here are some of our top picks. And if you go by bike there’s a discount on all travel in fact its free.

1. The London Eye. You’re watching it. It’s looking back at you. Freaky and unnerving. Get there by cycle route CS1.

2. The Houses of Big Ben. Technically Big Ben is the bell or whatever. You’d recognise it. It’s where the MP’s live. Bike parking is underground and requires a pre-arranged cabinet position.

3. Buckingham the Palace. Built in the something-hundreds, Buckingham Palace is a huge draw for tourists all round the world hoping to get a glimpse of the Queen but she’s not that stupid. Buy a ticket and enter a prize draw to get a glimpse of one of her shoes. Or hide in one of the cupboards hoping to surprise her. Cycling not permitted in the corridors.

4. Old Street Roundabout. No explanation necessary. Try this for a challenging cycle during rush hour.

5.Oxford Street. For the ultimate shopping and bumping into people experience. Cycling is only permitted on the escalators and a helmet is advised.

6. Tower Hamlets Community Centre. I’ve done it. We’ve all done it. So should you. Front wheel replacement and new recycled bike locks can be purchased from No. 24. If the dog is barking just come back later.

7. The Italian Embassy. Necessary for all visas and permits to work. Best visited with an Italian who needs to tackle an issue relating to their conditions of entry. Guided tour not available. Ask the receptionist for your free I Love Berlusconi Handlebar neon effect face mask.

8. Madame Toussauds! Have they made a wax work of you yet? Not likely, you nobody. Why not try to get a finger up a waxy effigy of your favourite celeb. Don’t forget to sign the petition.

9. The Toliet. No visit would be complete without one. Men only in the men’s please. Costs vary. No bikes.

10. St Paul’s Cathedral and Tube Station. Don’t get them mixed up! Lighting a candle in the tube is dangerous and illegal. Seriously. Boris bikes are available for cycling the gallery but need to be carried from street level.

11. And many more! Harrods! Sports Direct, Brixton! The Natural History Museum Dinosaur bit! The Olympic park! Dog shit! And of course Brian’s Bikes! Where you come first! – if you’ve booked.

Editor’s note. Due to time constraints and some problems with the email this morning the team weren’t able to submit their own bios so I have done my best. Our Founder, Brian did manage to send me the following:

Do I look like I give a monkey’s bollock? Can’t you do it?

Brian Smudge – Founder of Lazy Planet

Nice hair. Brian May.

Brian has been working in blogging for all of five minutes now and already knows he’s destined for greatness. Frequently hungover for no explicable reason, Brian has various allergies that impede his ability to interact with keyboards. He once met Lionel Blair, who is not, as far as we can tell, aware of the interaction and has resisted all attempts to rekindle the relationship. Brian lives with his mother, and has two cats. Or possibly that’s the other way round.

Linaeus

Arty.

Linaeus joins us from Sweden where he recently graduated from a degree in plasticine modelling. He likes girls, talking, wearing scarves, coffee, photography and being admired by strangers from afar. Pet hates include Tube passengers who put their feet on seats and the serial mis-management of nuclear waste. He has several pairs of identical trousers.

Bethan

I don’t think this is her.

Bethan is the only girl on the team but she hates it when people draw attention to it, almost as much as we hate it when she uses it as an excuse for not getting a round in. She likes reading, travelling and meeting new people. Recently Bethan took up knitting, complaining about the Great British Bake off on Twitter and sky diving. Bethan will be celebrating her eightieth birthday this May.

Dean

Where?

Dean likes music. Mainly his own, which he records with his mate Ropey Pete. They are going to have a band. That’s what he says. A band.

SidneySidney is the only member of the team to have served time for armed robbery. He likes respect, crisp shirts and to be brought nice things. He has had a tattoo a year since he was five, although it’s impossible to tell how old he is as ninety percent of these are on his inside thigh and no-one has ever ventured down there as far as we can tell. Sidney is very excited about the project and is particularly keen to understand when his expense account will come online.

Emily

WTF?

Emily is the only other girl on the team but don’t tell Bethan. Emily likes horses, partying and the lesser well-known poems of John Hegley. A recent graduate of the University of Durham, Emily is excited about adding new skills to her CV and progressing into a proper career in journalism as soon as it humanly possible.

I expect you’re wondering why I brought you here. Well, the fact is, one of us is a murderer and I intend to find out who it is.

Sorry, force of habit.

I expect you’re more likely wondering what the devil Little Writing Apps are all about.

Little Writing Apps came about because I write – and there were a handful of little shortcuts and ideas I came to rely on in my own writing. When designing a cast of characters I would reach for the Enneagram so I could be sure I had a diverse group at my disposal. When coming up with ideas for episodes and stories I would always turn to the same universal Themes for ideas. To structure, the Hero’s Journey would help both fire my imagination and keep me sort of on the right track.

I wanted these things with me all the time, so I could tinker with my ideas and capture them. And I thought others might feel the same.

The result is a combination of this blog and the apps. The apps let you have these shortcuts with you at all times in a fun and interactive way, this blog explains the thinking behind them, and for what it’s worth, how I use them.

As it takes less time to create a blog post than it does to write an app ( now there’s an understatement), I expect the blog will be somewhat ahead of the apps… So if you like a post and would like to see an app – let me know!

Disclaimery bit

I don’t claim these ideas are all mine, and I will let you know where they’re from so you can check them out first hand if it helps. I don’t claim they’ll help you make brilliant stories, with vibrant characters who have clear things to achieve in the rich worlds they live in, which you’re able to convey to the reader with an eye for pared-back detail that brings a scene to life through a few choice words and promises conflict and emotional journey. That’s your job. But they might help that journey be more fun.

Enjoy.

Happy Writing.

James

Welcome

Hi, I’m James Marson, a writer based in South London. My novel, a sci-fi comedy, “The Colour of Robots” is available from Amazon now. Please check it out and some of my other blog posts….