Our son is 16 years old and struggles daily with autism since age 3. I identify with my son for different reasons. I'm transgender knowing since age 4. Emily.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Life Lessons: Adapting to change

I have learned throughout life that we are always moving forward and changes are inevitable as we experience living, aging and maturing. We sometimes experience change in our personal life. We also experience change in our professional and working life. As part of evolving and maturing we will have to adapt to the many changes in our life and always maintain a healthy sense about it. Sometimes change may be hard to initially adjust to because it takes some getting used to and if change involves learning new things or getting used to a new set of procedures and meeting new people it is certainly understandable. Sometimes I feel it is hard to really get attached to people and situations because of the possibility of change. Sometimes you have to almost distance yourself from your feelings and always maintain the same level of professionalism and almost remain aloof to some degree. It is most important that you keep in mind that making changes are vital to growing and learning and we all should welcome change and always stay open minded about it.

Our son has made strides in his new school setting and he has adjusted well to his new teachers, new classmates and new school. It was a bit difficult for him initially because he missed his old school and his teacher and his former classmates. It is very common that autistic children tend to resist change and it takes some getting used to for them. They have a level of comfort with consistency so if change evolves they tend to react in ways that may not seem the norm. Our son now loves his new school and enjoys having several teachers and changes in classes. He is growing and maturing and we are very happy that he is making progress and that he is able to focus on his homework and act very mature and with respect. It is a relief for Maria and I knowing that our son is able to cope. This is what we want for our son which is that he develops confidence and that he is happy.

I have always tried my best to be polite, professional, agreeable, respectful and always maintain a nice way in conducting myself with others. I always try my best to treat everyone with the same level of respect and feel it is important to establish relationships built upon honesty, integrity and mutual respect. I also feel we have to always try to go that extra step and always work to the best of our ability and that we should always have hope and never get discouraged. It seems life is to short to let our fears and anxieties get the best of us. We need to be strong and have faith and believe in ourselves that we are worthwhile and do deserve opportunity. When we are given opportunity we should make the most of it and always be appreciative of the chance. We may make mistakes along the way but it is important that we learn from them and that we look at the bigger picture. We are all meant to work to make a living so we can provide for our families and we are also meant to provide to our employer the level of respect and dedication we learn as a professional and always put forth our best efforts. We are trained so we can take on responsibility and make choices and act prudently. Life is a series of challenges and we need to always face them and do our very best in taking them on and striving for success and pleasing others. We are dependent on others and they are dependent on us so we need to always keep this in mind.

The harder changes we will have to face are life event changes like experiencing the death of a loved one. These unfortunately are very painful changes and sometimes they come with no warning. We always have to be prepared but will always have our share of difficulties and emotional hurts. It is always important that we try to be honest with ourselves and try as best we can to get through that difficult time. It may take some time but we have to do our best to cope and get back to a normal routine. Life is too short to lose sight of this. The sooner we get back to a normal routine the better off we will be in the long run. It is understandable that we will always feel the loss and the pain. We do however have to be strong in our mindset and welcome getting back to a new normal routine. This does take time and we can not assume that we all will get over the loss at the same length of time. For some it may take awhile. We just have to remember that we will always have the pleasant memories and should always hold on to those special memories.

In talking to my son about loss and coping it is my belief that he has to understand that we will all one day die and for this very reason we should live everyday of our life to the fullest because there is no guarantee of another day. We plan to be here for another day but we just don't know. In talking to him about change I tell him that we all have changes in our life and changes are necessary because that is how we learn. He seems to understand this and is getting used to the idea though he still likes things to be the same as every autistic child wishes for.