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'Game of Thrones' Premiere Recap: The Season of the Woman?

By:
Shaunna Murphy
Mar 31, 2013

Hmm. For a show currently about "The War of the Five Kings," Game of Thrones is certainly ignoring said Kings right now for some more interesting subjects... mainly, the ladies. And I have to say — I don't mind at all! The captivating Margaery Tyrell has taken King's Landing by storm, and with Dany's army growing by the thousands, I'm thinking that the Iron Throne may have a ferocious female on it by the end of this series — for good. But that will be like ten years from now, so let's stop focusing on the future and just hop right to it!
North of the Wall: And we picked up… right where we left off. Samwell Tarly, scared s**tless by an army of White Walkers, had been abandoned by his Brothers in Black and was running around aimlessly in that North of the Wall wilderness. He saw a decapitated head and almost lost his own when a White Walker with an axe attacked, but in the last second, Ghost (and the Old Bear) saved the day.
RELATED: The Book Lover's Spoiler-Filled Guide to Season 3 of 'Game of Thrones'
Sam was then scolded for not sending the ravens — his "only job" — because now they were f**ked. Well, I mean, everyone on this show is f**ked, but Sam and his Brothers were in grave danger of freezing to death. And they had to get back to the Wall quickly, the Old Bear said, because "before winter is done, everyone you know will be dead."
And with those words… welcome back to Game of Thrones! It's been a long year, but I'm extremely excited to share the madness that is Season 3 with you all, my fellow Westerosi psychopaths. I must mention that I am a rabid R. R. Martin book reader and will occasionally throw in some comparison/analysis, but this is a NO SPOILER zone, because I am not a total jerk. Still with me? Good. Away we go!
Wildling Camp: Jon Snow, abandoned to the Wildlings as a spy by Qhorin Halfhand, has absolutely no idea what he's doing. I mean, way to leave detailed instructions Halfhand, emIright? He saw his first giant and nearly peed himself to the amusement of Ygritte, who loves nothing more than when Jon doesn't know about something.
Ygritte and her grisly friends brought Jon into Mance Rayder's tent, but not before he was pelted with rocks by the local schoolchildren. "Don't worry," Ygritte teased. "If Mance Rayder likes you, you'll live another day. And if he don't…." She was smiling from ear-to-ear. Such a capable flirt, that Ygritte.
So they went to Mance's tent and pleaded his case, which was basically just "I killed Qhorin Halfhand!" He got on his knees and said "your grace" to the wrong guy — Tormund Giantsbane —which was just hilarious to the Wildlings. They don't kneel to anyone beyond the wall, explained the real Mance Rayder, who quickly caught on to the fact that Jon and Ygritte want to make love in this club. Jon was just so tremendously uncomfortable during this entire interaction, but then Rayder shook his hand so everything was cool. Rayder HATED half hand — and actually, he was the guy that took HALF of his HAND — so Snow was pretty neat in his book.
"Why do you want to join us, Jon Snow?" he asked. Jon said he wanted to be free, but Rayder didn't buy that load of BS. So then he told the story of the dead baby boys and the White Walkers back at Ole Craster's house, and how Mormont already knew about the Walkers' existence and that was just so not cool, and Rayder bought that hook, line, and sinker. Snow was in, and he was in deep. Like The Americans style, just with less fancy wigs.
King's Landing: The Lannister family was just in shambles. Shambles, I tell you! Tyrion had his squire Podrick interrupt Bronn's sexy times in order to accompany him on a visit to Tywin, and their walk through the castle grounds allowed us to see the damage that Stannis' attack had done. But first…
Cersei entered Tyrion's seriously downsized room to further torment her "little" brother, which is her favorite thing to do now that Sansa is sort of a non-entity. She wanted to see his face, she explained, when asked about her intentions. "They said you'd lost your nose, but it's not as gruesome as all that." This is a nod to the injury Tyrion received in the book — there, he actually did lose his nose, and it was totally gruesome. I spent all of last season wondering how they'd deal will Tyrion's injury — I don't think they'd want to make Dinklage impossible to look at — and I'm not at all surprised that they just have him a little scar. Anyway.
Cersei knew that Tyrion planned to meet with Tywin that day, and she wanted the scoop on his agenda. Tywin hadn't visited Tyrion once, which is absolutely terrible and so very Tywin of him. "You're going to make me cry," Cersei said. This reminded me of the hilarious scene in Arrested Development where Lindsay Bluth tried her best to fake tears, and I laughed. Oh, how I laughed.
Cersei was very nervous about what Tyrion was going to tell Tywin, but I think if he was going to spill about the Jaime/Cersei situation he would have done so long ago. Also, Tywin hates him and "loves" his other two children, and would therefore never believe him. So.
The father/son meeting went like this: Tywin accused Tyrion of spending his days as Hand of the King drinking and whoring, when we all know that he spent them coming up with a badass plan to defeat Stannis' army, so, not fair. Also, he was only bedding one whore, which is totally romantic. So Twyin was a big evil grump, and when Tyrion asked for some payment for bleeding and almost dying for his family, you knew it wasn't going to be good.
What did he want? Why, what was owed to him, of course — Casterly Rock (that's the Lannister's mansion/home base, FYI). Though Jaime was the eldest son, he was also in the Kingsguard, so he was unable to hold land or title. Tywin's response?
"I would let myself be consumed by maggots before mocking the family name and making you heir to Casterly Rock…You are an ill-made, spiteful little creature, full of envy, lust, and low cunning. Men's laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colors, since I cannot prove that you are not mine. And to teach me humility, the Gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about, wearing that proud lion that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse. Go now, and speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock."
EPIC. BURN. Also, probably the cruelest thing I've seen a parent say to their kid on TV, ever. Except for maybe when Caroline on The Real Housewives of New Jersey called her daughter fat for like an entire season. Oh, and one more thing: "the next whore I catch in your bed, I'll hang."
That was intense. Let's move on to err, happier topics. Sansa and Shea seem to have developed a friendship, and now that Sansa isn't tortured by Joffrey 24/7, she has time to do things like stare at boats. Littlefinger approached the daughter of his lady love, and she begged him to take her out of King's Landing. He was waiting on an assignment that would send him far from King's Landing, and Sansa should be ready to leave at any moment. Good for her… right? Err, maybe not.
"Watch out for her," Roz — who has been promoted to Littlefinger's Executive Assistant — said to Shae, of Sansa. "I always do, Shae replied. (Another big departure from this books. That Shae was most definitely NOT loyal to Sansa.) "Watch out for her with him," Roz emphasized. I mean, yes. Littlefinger is a total creepshow.
Finally, it's time for a Joffrey and Lady Margaery update. Joffrey my cat is actually sick with a cold, so there's your update on him, but let's talk about the on-screen version now. Margaery in the books was always sort of a mystery — she never had her own POV chapters, so we haven't gotten to know too much about her. But Margaery on the show is a DYNAMO! She already has all of King's Landing eating out of her precious little hands. She walks around without guards, feeding and telling stories to the poor with at least 80 percent of her breasts exposed at all times. They LOVE her. She listens to their sad tales about that time their father died protecting King Joffrey, and honestly seems to make them feel better. She's a true politician, and I already love her. Oh, I love her so much. "Under King Joffrey's leadership, your fathers saved this city. They saved us all. From now on, we're going to take care of you. All of you." They gather around her like she's King's Landing's version of Jesus — that character from the Roma Downey series The Bible — and she tells the orphanage owner lady to come to her whenever they need food or clothing.
Joffrey watched her with awe — why don't they like me like that, he wonders? I honestly can't think of one reason, Joff! But at least one person seems to like Joffrey a whole lot better than Margaery: Cersei. See, Sansa was easy for Cersei. With her father's head on a spike and her family condemned as traitors, she could control her. Margaery? Not so much. Margaery's family barged in and saved the city during Blackwater, and brought in loads of foods and attractive women.
Cersei's way of dealing with this as of now is with backhanded compliments, but Margaery is just as, if not more, cunning than she is. She deals with Cersei with ease, and our pal Joffrey is smitten. Good drama is on the forefront, methinks. But let's move on...
Ugh, Davos: So Davos is alive. I mean, I knew he was going to be, but his scenes on this show are such a total snooze-bomb. Actually, that's sort of how I feel about everyone involved with Stannis' plot line. Oh well. So he was marooned on some tiny pile of rocks and managed to flag down Salladhor Saan's (the pirate) ship, so yay. Rescue for Davos.
Saan gave Davos an update on the couple we shall now and forever refer to as Stannisandre: Melisandre had burned everybody on Dragonstone who didn't believe in the Lord of Light, and she had sang as she did so. Nice. Still, Davos was just DYING to go back there because he's an idiot, and I guess the following quote from Saan meant yes: "When you're dead, I'll gather your little balls in a sack, and let your widow wear them on her neck."
Let's not speak of Davos for this rest of this recap, yes? Yes? Ugh. No. We have to. Let's make it brief. Saan dropped him off at Dragonstone, and Stannis the Smiley and Melisandre were not in a very good mood. Davos tried to tell Melisandre off for murdering everybody, but she turned it around and said it was somehow Davos' own fault that his son and all of the other men died at Blackwater, because she wasn't allowed to be there. Yeah, totally his bad. Also, she said that he should be happy about his son's demise since death by fire is the purest death, and Davos, understandably, did not react well to this. He tried to go after her, but we all know that Melisandre will never ever die because she's annoying and this show only kills off people we like. They threw Davos in the dungeons, and hopefully he'll stay there silently for awhile.
Camp Robb: Robb Stark, who has TOTALLY morphed into a manly man before our very eyes, approached Riverrun expecting a battle with The Mountain (Gregor Clegane), but when they got there, 200 northmen were dead. Somehow this was all Jaime Lannister's fault, even though Jaime Lannister hasn't been able to do jack s**t since Season 1. Robb's men assured him that Jaime wouldn't be free for long as they had their best man after him, so — FORESHADOWING! Obviously. Jamie is f**ked.
This was also somehow Catelyn's fault, so Robb had his men find her a chamber that would serve as her cell. It's sort of like when kids put their parents in sh**ty nursing homes. Not cool, Robb. But, anyway — this is all we saw of Team Stark this episode. That's what happens when your show has 57 main characters. Moving on.
Across the Narrow Sea: Hey guys, did you know that there are dragons on this show? DRAGONS! Emilia Clarke really doesn't have to do anything besides stand there and look hot and regal and let her Dragons run around and do tricks. Millions of dudes would still watch the show.
But yeah, the dragons are biggish now, and they (and Dany, and the remainder of the folks she had with her in Qarth) were sailing toward Astapor on the ship they bought with Xaro Xhoan Daxos' stuff. I'm really glad he's off the show now, so I don't have to write his name after this ever again. They were there to purchase an army of slaves, even though Dany is a Civil Rights activist and doesn't believe in slavery.
They land, and meet with a slaveowner who says crude things about Dany in a different language while she barters for her army. Bad move, dude. But his beautiful translator gives her the PG version version, explaining that this army of 8000 "Unsullied" are castrated non-men who fear nothing, not even death. To prove his point, the slaveowner walks up to one and cuts his nipple off and just throws it, while the dude stands there without filching. "This one is pleased to have served you," the Unsullied said.
Oh guys. The Unsullied are just so damn weird. And we're going to be with them for quite some time, so buckle up. Get this — in order to earn their shields, they have to rip a newborn babe from its mother's arms and kill it right in front of her, to prove that they have no emotion. This is insane and after last year's slaughter of the Baratheon bastards, Game of Thrones has officially become the most baby-killing-friendly show on TV. But at least they give the mother's owner a silver coin for her troubles. They're not unreasonable, you know?
Dany leaves to think it over, and consults with Mormont. She's not too happy about hiring 8,000 men that have rid their world of 8,000 babies, but Mormont thinks she needs them, and would be a better owner than anyone else who would buy them. To drive the former point home, an androgynous child (a girl, right?) rolled Dany a ball. Cute, Dany thought. A game. But no! A hooded man ran out and knocked the ball out of her hands just in time, before the thing opened up and released some sort of horrifying spider/scorpion combo. The man stabbed it, then revealed himself as Ser Barristan Selmy, the old knight that Joffrey kicked out of the Kingsguard back in Season 1.
Selmy begged Dany for her forgiveness for not protecting her family back when Robert Baratheon took over, and he humbly pledged his service. Now, in the books this mysterious man was not revealed to be the long gone Selmy until near the end and it was a well-earned moment that was somewhat spine-tingling, but we knew that this would be visually impossible for the series to accomplish. So, welcome, Ser Selmy. It's good to have you back.
What did you think of the Game of Thrones premiere? Did you love it, or were you hoping for more action? Are you excited to see more from the Real House-B**ches of Westeros? Or, are you still reeling from what happened on The Walking Dead and full from Easter candy so you need some time to process things? I belong to that latter category, so sayanora for now and see you next week — you, and Arya Stark. (She's in next week's episode, I swear!!)
Follow Shaunna on Twitter @HWShaunna
[PHOTO CREDIT: HBO (3)]
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That Bobby Cannavale was so much nicer on Will &amp; Grace.
When the last season of Boardwalk Empire closed out with a bullet to the head of Jimmy Darmody — the character whom many considered to be the backbone of the HBO series — fans felt more or less unconvinced that the show could carry on with the same weight or emotional investment it had managed through its first two years on air. Season 2 especially lent its primary focus to Jimmy, shifting away from Nucky for entire episodes to lend development and examination to Michael Pitt’s tortured war veteran, absent father and husband, criminal protégée to the Atlantic County treasurer, and incestuous son to Gretchen Mol’s Gillian Darmody. Boardwalk seemed like Jimmy’s show, where it had begun under the premise that it was Nucky’s alone. The mentality behind this strategy — shifting gears only to drop Jimmy in the end of the season, thus reverting back to Nucky as the central antihero — was perplexing. The aftermath does seem to bear evidence to its birth from this confusion.
Nucky’s story kicks off, on the eve of 1923, with Steve Buscemi’s master crook conducting business — with partners Munya “Manny” Horvitz (William Forsythe), Mickey Doyle (Paul Sparks), and right-hand-man Owen Sleater (Charlie Cox, now a cast regular — and instituting a new procedure for the distribution of alcohol. Nucky will sell exclusively to Arnold Rothstein (Michael Stuhlbarg), a fact that disappoints the likes of George Remus (Glenn Fleshler), et al, but particularly enrages season newcomer Gyp Rosetti (Cannavale).
We meet Rosetti in the episode’s introductory scene. Automotive complications land him roadside, taking a favor from a passing dog owner with a case of oil in his car. An innocuous remark from the good Samaritan sends Rosetti into enough of a rage to bash the man’s head in with a crowbar; later on, this rage (albeit not exacted) is apparent in Rosetti’s conversation with Nucky about the latter’s decision to cut off his distribution of alcohol. Nucky’s decision is sparked by the advice of his politician “friend” Harry Daugherty (Christopher McDonald), who wants Nucky to be more careful lest he find himself (and his allies — Daugherty included) the subject of a news story for illicit business. Thus, Nucky tidies up his act to the point of dealing only with Rothstein. But obviously, Rosetti was not introduced into this series to be the kind of guy who takes news like this calmly.
So what’s the angle here? A rougher, more unpredictable enemy? That seems to be the sell: Rosetti’s actions are meant to shock us, to suggest that he’s the exception to this organized game. As if most of Nucky’s would-be assailants so far have maintained spotless records of calculation or professionalism. Detective Van Alden (Michael Shannon) is a venerable psychopath. Al Capone (Stephen Graham) is a childlike hothead. We’re reminded of the latter in this very episode. This show has never had its deficit of unbalanced foes, so what makes Rosetti so compelling or unique that he should be able to lead the peril (for Nucky) in Season 3? And if he isn’t meant to do so, then who or what is?
I suppose Margaret (Kelly Macdonald) might provide Nucky with a fair share of enmity, although of a different sort. In the premiere, we see a refresh of her feministic values — she celebrates female pilot Carrie Duncan’s pioneering of the breakdown of gender barriers, and looks toward the institution of a program for the hospital (of which she and Nucky are benefactors) that would help teach pregnant women about prenatal care. Her ambitions get in the way of Nucky’s business; this disparity in interests will undoubtedly escalate toward the crumbling of their marriage this season. Nucky is already seen enjoying extramarital encounters. The question is, how significant will the destruction of Nucky’s and Margaret’s relationship become? Will she also pose a threat to his career? Will his love for and investment in her children become the real issue for Buscemi’s character? Or will he prove entirely heartless and risk or discard everything in the name of success and glory?
The memory of the fallen Darmodys is more present over in an Atlantic City brothel run by Gillian, although it is not Jimmy’s mother who is holding onto the spirit of her son or his wife Angela (Aleksa Palladino, who was murdered by Horvitz last season) — it’s Richard Harrow (Jack Huston), the series’ breakout character with a hopeless devotion to both deceased parties (Angela especially). While Gillian is bent on erasing all recollection of Jimmy and Angela in the mind of their son Tommy — her son now, as far as she’s concerned — Richard makes it a point to teach young Tommy about his beautiful, golden-hearted mother... until Gillian catches an earful and demands ever-so-manipulatively that he keep his mouth shut. “Look to the future,” she suggests. He’s not really into that. Instead, he heads out for the night and shoots Manny Horvitz dead right in the man’s doorway.
As interesting a character as Richard is, it seems unpromising to think that Huston will be shafted alongside young Tommy this season. The murder of Manny might suggest that Richard will be out on the warpath of revenge, maybe hunting down the likes of Eli Thompson (Shea Whigham), Mickey, and Nucky himself. Of course, then the show would really be over, so we shouldn’t actually expect that.
Meanwhile, over in Illinois, Al Capone is still a hot-blooded gangster, but another old friend has turned over a new leaf: Van Alden, who is now going by alter ego George Mueller, working as a door-to-door salesman, and living in a cramped apartment with an unhappy Sigrid (Christiane Seideil) and his daughter Abigail. But Van Alden is pulled back into the game by chance, when he happens upon a run-in between Capone and Irish gangster Dean O’Banion (Arron Shiver). Helping O’Banion out of a jam with an improvised performance as the man’s hired gun, Van Alden earns the crook’s favor and a job offer. He might be getting his first full-fledged step onto the criminal side of the prohibition deal… and perhaps might see his first shine of financial fortune since we met him.
Of the stories introduced in the premiere, Van Alden’s is the most interesting, if only to see where the depths of his psycho character will fall next. The man has no discernible sense of reality. His staunch appreciation of right and wrong cannot be defined, as he is so far gone from a sane mind that any viewer would be hard pressed to identify what he deems appropriate. All this, delivered expertly by Shannon, makes for an undoubtedly exciting story to come this year.
Unfortunately, Nucky’s case does not hold the same luster. Sure, Cannavale might be a fun addition to the series. But is he really anything new? Just another egomaniacal crook with his finger perpetually on the trigger? Jimmy’s absence is palpable in this premiere, as you can’t forge the kind of relationship that he and Nucky had between any other two characters on this show. Their mutual broken-hearted hatred, sorrow, distrust, sense of betrayal, it was the show’s lifeblood. And now all we have is another angry mobster who wants his rum. Hopefully, Van Alden’s adventures to come are strong enough to carry both stories. Maybe with a little help from Richard?
Episode Body Count: 4
Season Body Count: 4
[Photo Credit: HBO]
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There's an allure to imperfection. With his latest drama Lawless director John Hillcoat taps directly into the side of human nature that draws us to it. Hillcoat finds it in Prohibition history a time when the regulations of alcohol consumption were subverted by most of the population; He finds it in the rural landscapes of Virginia: dingy raw and mesmerizing. And most importantly he finds it in his main character Jack Bondurant (Shia LaBeouf) the scrappy third brother of a moonshining family who is desperate to prove his worth. Jack forcefully injects himself into the family business only to discover there's an underbelly to the underbelly. Lawless is a beautiful film that's violent as hell striking in a way only unfiltered Americana could be.
Acting as the driver for his two outlaw brothers Forrest (Tom Hardy) and Howard (Jason Clarke) isn't enough for Jack. He's enticed by the power of the gangster figure and entranced by what moonshine money can buy. So like any fledgling entrepreneur Jack takes matters into his own hands. Recruiting crippled family friend/distillery mastermind Cricket (Dane DeHaan) the young whippersnapper sets out to brew his own batch sell it to top dog Floyd Banner and make the family rich. The plan works — but it puts the Bondurant boys in over their heads with a new threat: the corrupt law enforcers of Chicago.
Unlike many stories of crime life Lawless isn't about escalation. The movie drifts back and forth leisurely popping in moments like the beats of a great TV episode. One second the Bondurants could be talking shop with their female shopkeep Maggie Beauford (Jessica Chastain). The next Forrest is beating the bloody pulp out of a cop blackmailing their operation. The plot isn't thick; Hillcoat and screenwriter Nick Cave preferring to bask in the landscapes the quiet moments the haunting terror that comes with a life on the other side of the tracks. A feature film doesn't offer enough time for Lawless to build — it recalls cinema-level TV currently playing on outlets like HBO and AMC that have truly spoiled us — but what the duo accomplish is engrossing.
Accompanying the glowing visuals and Cave's knockout workout on the music side (a toe-tapping mix of spirituals bluegrass and the writer/musician's spine-tingling violin) are muted performances from some of Hollywood's rising stars. Despite LaBeouf's off-screen antics he lights up Lawless and nails the in-deep whippersnapper. His playful relationship with a local religious girl (Mia Wasikowska) solidifies him as a leading man but like everything in the movie you want more. Tom Hardy is one of the few performers who can "uurrr" and "mmmnerm" his way through a scene and come out on top. His greatest sparring partner isn't a hulking thug but Chastain who brings out the heart of the impenetrable beast. The real gem of Lawless is Guy Pearce as the Bondurant trio's biggest threat. Shaved eyebrows pristine city clothes and a temper like a rabid wolverine Pearce's Charlie Rakes is the most frightening villain of 2012. He viciously chews up every moment he's on screen. That's even before he starts drawing blood.
Lawless is the perfect movie for the late August haze — not quite the Oscary prestige picture or the summertime shoot-'em-up. It's drama that has its moonshine and swigs it too. Just don't drink too much.
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The basic premise of most crime revenge dramas is how much of our humanity we're willing to trade to get back what the other people — the ostensible baddies — have taken from us. Oliver Stone returns to this familiar stomping ground with Savages a splashy adaptation of Don Winslow's novel about a unique love affair a major marijuana-dealing business and an increasingly violent pissing match between two SoCal growers and the Baja Cartel.
Stone's frenetic visual style is in full swing but even this Oscar-winning auteur can't quite raise the film from mediocrity. It's hard to care whether or not Ben (Aaron Johnson) and Chon (Taylor Kitsch) rescue their gorgeous mutual girlfriend O (Blake Lively) from the cartel if O isn't engaging enough to persuade us she's worth the bloodshed. O (short for Ophelia — an allusion to her earthshaking climaxes) is not a well-written character to begin with but she's even less engaging as played by Lively. Johnson is unconvincing as the bleeding heart Ben and the details his character is given — extra earrings a shoddy-looking tattoo on his neck even white boy dreads at one point — undercut his believability even more. Kitsch is given a few prominent scars and a mean squint but he doesn't quite bring the weird slightly empty vibe of Chon to life.
On the villain side Benicio Del Toro chews every inch of scenery from Laguna Beach to Tijuana as Lado. He's rocking an intense moustache that he strokes when he's lying or being a creep (which is most of the time) a vaguely mullet-like wig and a fondness for torture. Salma Hayek takes no prisoners as the head of the cartel nicknamed Elena la Reina who is both a frustrated mom whose college-age daughter is blowing her off (aw!) and a brutally tough woman in a man's world. John Travolta definitely enjoys a bit of Pulp Fiction ridiculousness as Dennis a DEA official who's in Ben and Chon's pocket. It's hard to tell just how funny Savages is aiming to be. Lado Elena and Dennis are cartoonish but Ben Chon and O are earnest — which is to say a little bit boring.
The double- and triple-crossing is practically moot as is the wacky technology that Ben and Chon employ; it's like The Social Network meets surfers. The real meat of the movie is the flash and violence but it's not the kind of thing that stays with you like Stone's Natural Born Killers. Savages doesn't have the same lingering aftertaste. It's not that a movie needs to have some sort of message with its pointed commentary on the media's bloodlust but the gist of Savages — that we're all savages at heart or that we can easily become a savage given the right circumstances — is not that interesting or unique.
Oddly enough Savages pulls a few punches when it comes to its source material (hard to believe when the movie kicks off with a glimpse of an abattoir-like enclosure and close-ups of men begging for their lives just as a chainsaw revs in the background). Winslow's book is a quick enjoyable read with an interesting on-page style that's hard to replicate verbally. It has a sort of ADD-addled feel that the movie tries to but doesn't quite capture. While it's not always fair to compare an adaptation to the book it's based on Winslow is both the author and one of the screenplay writers so some of the choices made behind the scenes don't quite add up. Cut are significant and menacing back story for Lado and all of the zestiness out of O. Why add in certain plot points and take out others unless it was to give one of its big name stars more screen time? The most interesting part of the story the love story is treated like a wink wink homoerotic thing than an actual relationship between three people who adore each other which is how it's portrayed in the book. It's hard not to be a little disappointed especially given Stone's no-f**ks-given attitude. (Or as O would say baditude.)
That said it is a somewhat entertaining diversion and a nice tour of lifestyles of the rich and criminal. Lively is all tangled tan limbs and luxurious hippie clothes and the homes they frequent whether on Laguna Beach or a desert compound are meticulously decorated with exquisite expensive taste. Santa Muerte imagery also figures heavily in the background of many scenes. The scenery is gorgeous — even the marijuana looks amazing. It's good for adults to have another R-rated choice in what's usually a season dominated by blockbusters but in years to come you'll more likely to reach for your old True Romance DVD than Savages.

A decade-long gap between sequels could leave a franchise stale but in the case of Men in Black 3 it's the launch pad for an unexpectedly great blockbuster. The kooky antics of Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) don't stray far from their 1997 and 2002 adventures but without a bombardment of follow-ups to keep the series in mind the wonderfully weird sensibilities of Men in Black feel fresh Smith's natural charisma once again on full display. Barry Sonnenfeld returns for the threequel another space alien romp with a time travel twist — which turns out to be Pandora's Box for the director's deranged imagination.
As time passed in the real world so did it for the timeline in the world of Men in Black. Picking up ten years after MIB 2 J and K are continuing to protect the Earth from alien threats and enforce the law on those who live incognito. While dealing with their own personal issues — K is at his all-time crabbiest for seemingly no reason — the suited duo encounter an old enemy Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement) a prickly assassin seeking revenge on K who blew his arm off back in the '60s. Their street fight is more of a warning; Boris' real plan is to head back in time to save his arm and kill off K. He's successful prompting J to take his own leap through the time-space continuum — and team up with a younger K (Josh Brolin) to put an end to Boris plans for world domination.
Men in Black 3 is the Will Smith show. Splitting his time between the brick personalities of Jones and Brolin's K Smith struts his stuff with all the fast-talking comedic style that made him a star in yesteryears. In present day he's still the laid back normal guy in a world of oddities — J raises an eyebrow as new head honcho O (Emma Thompson) delivers a eulogy in a screeching alien tongue but coming up with real world explanations for flying saucer crashes comes a little easier. But back in 1969 he's an even bigger fish out water. Surprisingly director Barry Sonnenfeld and writer Etan Cohen dabble in the inherent issues that would spring up if a black gentlemen decked out in a slick suit paraded around New York in the late '60s. A star of Smith's caliber may stray away from that type of racy humor but the hook of Men in Black 3 is the actor's readiness for anything. He turns J's jokey anachronisms into genuine laughs and doesn't mind letting the special effect artists stretch him into an unrecognizable Twizzler for the movie's epic time jump sequence.
Unlike other summer blockbusters Men in Black 3 is light on the action Sonnenfeld utilizing his effects budget and dazzling creature work (by the legendary Rick Baker) to push the comedy forward. J's fight with an oversized extraterrestrial fish won't keep you on the edge of your seat but his slapstick escape and the marine animal's eventual demise are genuinely amusing. Sonnenfeld carries over the twisted sensibilities he displayed in small screen work like Pushing Daisies favoring bizarre banter and elaborating on the kookiness of the alien underworld than battle scenes. MIB3's chase scene is passable but the movie in its prime when Smith is sparring with Brolin and newcomer Michael Stuhlbarg who steals the show as a being capable of seeing the future. His twitchy character keeps Smith and the audience on their toes.
Men in Black 3 digs up nostalgia I wasn't aware I had. Smith's the golden boy of summer and even with modern ingenuity keeping it fresh — Sonnenfeld uses the mandatory 3D to full and fun effect — there's an element to the film that feels plucked from another era. The movie is economical and slight with plenty of lapses in logic that will provoke head scratching on the walk out of the theater but it's also perfectly executed. After ten years of cinematic neutralizing the folks behind Men in Black haven't forgotten what made the first movie work so well. After al these years Smith continues to make the goofy plot wild spectacle and crazed alien antics look good.
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In This Means War – a stylish action/rom-com hybrid from director McG – Tom Hardy (The Dark Knight Rises) and Chris Pine (Star Trek) star as CIA operatives whose close friendship is strained by the fires of romantic rivalry. Best pals FDR (Pine) and Tuck (Hardy) are equally accomplished at the spy game but their fortunes diverge dramatically in the dating realm: FDR (so nicknamed for his obvious resemblance to our 32nd president) is a smooth-talking player with an endless string of conquests while Tuck is a straight-laced introvert whose love life has stalled since his divorce. Enter Lauren (Reese Witherspoon) a pretty plucky consumer-products evaluator who piques both their interests in separate unrelated encounters. Tuck meets her via an online-dating site FDR at a video-rental store. (That Lauren is tech-savvy enough to date online but still rents movies in video stores is either a testament to her fascinating mix of contradictions or more likely an example of lazy screenwriting.)
When Tuck and FDR realize they’re pursuing the same girl it sparks their respective competitive natures and they decide to make a friendly game of it. But what begins as a good-natured rivalry swiftly devolves into romantic bloodsport with both men using the vast array of espionage tools at their disposal – from digital surveillance to poison darts – to gain an edge in the battle for Lauren’s affections. If her constitutional rights happen to be violated repeatedly in the process then so be it.
Lauren for her part remains oblivious to the clandestine machinations of her dueling suitors and happily basks in the sudden attention from two gorgeous men. Herein we find the Reese Witherspoon Dilemma: While certainly desirable Lauren is far from the irresistible Helen of Troy type that would inspire the likes of Tuck and FDR to risk their friendship their careers and potential incarceration for. At several points in This Means War I found myself wondering if there were no other peppy blondes in Los Angeles (where the film is primarily set) for these men to pursue. Then again this is a film that wishes us to believe that Tom Hardy would have trouble finding a date so perhaps plausibility is not its strong point.
When Lauren needs advice she looks to her boozy foul-mouthed best friend Trish (Chelsea Handler). Essentially an extension of Handler’s talk-show persona – an acquired taste if there ever was one – Trish’s dialogue consists almost exclusively of filthy one-liners delivered in rapid-fire succession. Handler does have some choice lines – indeed they’re practically the centerpiece of This Means War’s ad campaign – but the film derives the bulk of its humor from the outrageous lengths Tuck and FDR go to sabotage each others’ efforts a raucous game of spy-versus-spy that carries the film long after Handler’s shtick has grown stale.
Business occasionally intrudes upon matters in the guise of Heinrich (Til Schweiger) a Teutonic arms dealer bent on revenge for the death of his brother. The subplot is largely an afterthought existing primarily as a means to provide third-act fireworks – and to allow McGenius an outlet for his ADD-inspired aesthetic proclivities. The film’s action scenes are edited in such a manic quick-cut fashion that they become almost laughably incoherent. In fairness to McG he does stage a rather marvelous sequence in the middle of the film in which Tuck and FDR surreptitiously skulk about Lauren's apartment unaware of each other's presence carefully avoiding detection by Lauren who grooves absentmindedly to Montel Jordan's "This Is How We Do It." The whole scene unfolds in one continuous take – or is at least craftily constructed to appear as such – captured by one very agile steadicam operator.
Whatever his flaws as a director McG is at least smart enough to know how much a witty script and appealing leads can compensate for a film’s structural and logical deficiencies. He proved as much with Charlie’s Angels a film that enjoys a permanent spot on many a critic’s Guilty Pleasures list and does so again with This Means War. The film coasts on the chemistry of its three co-stars and only runs into trouble when the time comes to resolve its romantic competition which by the end has driven its male protagonists to engage in all manner of underhanded and duplicitous activities. This Means War being a commercial film – and likely an expensive one at that – Witherspoon's heroine is mandated to make a choice and McG all but sidesteps the whole thorny matter of Tuck and FDR’s unwavering dishonesty not to mention their craven disregard for her privacy. (They regularly eavesdrop on her activities.) For all their obvious charms the truth is that neither deserves Lauren – or anything other than a lengthy jail sentence for that matter.
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Last year director Garry Marshall hit upon a devilishly canny approach to the romantic comedy. A more polished refinement of Hal Needham’s experimental Cannonball Run method it called for assembling a gaggle of famous faces from across the demographic spectrum and pairing them with a shallow day-in-the-life narrative packed with gobs of gooey sentiment. A cynical strategy to be sure but one that paid handsome dividends: Valentine’s Day earned over $56 million in its opening weekend surpassing even the rosiest of forecasts. Buoyed by the success Marshall and his screenwriter Katherine Fugate hastily retreated to the bowels of Hades to apply their lucrative formula to another holiday historically steeped in romantic significance and New Year’s Eve was born.
Set in Manhattan on the last day of the year New Year’s Eve crams together a dozen or so canned scenarios into one bloated barely coherent mass of cliches. As before Marshall’s recruited an impressive ensemble of minions to do his unholy bidding including Oscar winners Hilary Swank Halle Berry and Robert De Niro the latter luxuriating in a role that didn’t require him to get out of bed. High School Musical’s Zac Efron is paired up with ‘80s icon Michelle Pfeiffer – giving teenage girls and their fathers something to bond over – while Glee’s Lea Michele meets cute with a pajama-clad Ashton Kutcher. There’s Katherine Heigl in a familiar jilted-fiance role Sarah Jessica Parker as a fretful single mom and Chris “Ludacris” Bridges as the most laid-back cop in New York. Sofia Vergara and Hector Elizondo mine for cheap laughs with thick accents – his fake and hers real – and Jessica Biel and Josh Duhamel deftly mix beauty with blandness. Fans of awful music will delight in the sounds of Jon Bon Jovi straining against type to play a relevant pop musician.
The task of interweaving the various storylines is too great for Marshall and New Year’s Eve bears the distinct scent and stain of an editing-room bloodbath with plot holes so gaping that not even the brightest of celebrity smiles can obscure them. But that’s not the point – it never was. You should know better than to expect logic from a film that portrays 24-year-old Efron and 46-year-old Parker as brother-and-sister without bothering to explain how such an apparent scientific miracle might have come to pass. Marshall wagers that by the time the ball drops and the film’s last melodramatic sequence has ended prior transgressions will be absolved and moviegoers will be content to bask in New Year's Eve's artificial glow. The gambit worked for Valentine's Day; this time he may not be so fortunate.

Enigmatic and deliberate Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy makes no reservations while unraveling its heady spy story for better or worse. The film based on the bestselling novel by John Le Carre is purposefully perplexing effectively mirroring the central character George Smiley's (Gary Oldman) own mind-bending investigation of the British MI6's mole problem. But the slow burn pacing clinical shooting style and air of intrigue only go so far—Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy sports an incredible cast that can't dramatically translate the movie's impenetrable narrative. Almost from the get go the movie collapses under its own weight.
After a botched mission in Hungary that saw his colleague Jim (Mark Strong) gunned down in the streets Smiley and his boss Control (John Hurt) are released from the "Circus" (codename for England's Secret Intelligence Service). But soon after Smiley is brought back on board as an impartial observer tasked to uncover the possible infiltration of the organization. The former agent already dealing with the crippling of his own marriage attempts to sift through the history and current goings on of the Circus narrowing his hunt down to four colleagues: Percy aka "Tinker" (Toby Jones) Bill aka "Tailor" (Colin Firth) Roy aka "Soldier" (Ciaran Hinds) and Toy aka "Poor Man" (David Dencik). Working with Peter (Benedict Cumberbatch) a conflicted younger member of the service and Ricki (Tom Hardy) a rogue agent who has information of his own Smiley slowly uncovers the muddled truth—occasionally breaking in to his own work place and crossing his own friends to do so.
Describing Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy as dense doesn't seem complicated enough. The first hour of the monster mystery moves at a sloth's pace trickling out information like the tedious drips of a leaky faucet. The talent on display is undeniable but the characters Smiley included are so cold that a connection can never be made. TTSS sporadically jumps around from past to present timelines without any indication: a tactic that proves especially confusing when scenes play out in reoccurring locations. It's not until halfway through that the movie decides to kick into high gear Smiley's search for a culprit finally becoming clear enough to thrill. A film that takes its time is one thing but Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy does so without any edge or hook.
What the movie lacks in coherency it makes up for in style and thespian gravitas. Director Tomas Alfredson has assembled some of the finest British performers working today and they turn the script's inaccessible spy jargon into poetry. Firth stands out as the group's suave slimeball a departure from his usual nice guy roles. Hardy assures us he's the next big thing once again as the agency's resident moppet a lover who breaks down after a romantic fling uncovers horrifying truth. Oldman is given the most difficult task of the bunch turning the reserved contemplative Smiley into a real human. He half succeeds—his observational slant in the beginning feels like an extension of the movie's bigger problems but once gets going in the second half of the film he's quite a bit of fun.
Alfredson constructs Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy like a cinematic architect each frame dripping with perfectly kitschy '70s production design and camera angles that make the spine tingle. He creates paranoia through framing similar to the Coppola's terrifying The Conversation but unlike that film TTSS doesn't have the characters or story to match. The movie strives to withhold information and succeeds—too much so. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy wants us to solve a mystery with George Smiley but it never clues us in to exactly why we should want to.

At some point in the early years of the 21st century a bunch of Hollywood executives must have gotten together and decided that animated films should be made for all audiences. The goal was perhaps to make movies that are simultaneously accessible to the older and younger sets with colorful imagery that one expects from children’s films and two levels of humor: one that’s quite literal and harmless and another that’s somewhat subversive. The criteria has resulted in cross-generational hits like Wall-E and Madagascar and though it’s nice to be able to take my nephew to the movies and be as entertained by cartoon characters as he is I can’t help but wonder what happened to unabashedly innocent animated classics like A Goofy Movie and The Land Before Time?
Disney’s Winnie The Pooh is the answer to the Shrek’s and Hoodwinked!’s of the world: a short sweet simple and lighthearted tale of friendship that doesn’t need pop-culture references or snarky dialogue to put a smile on your face. Directors Stephen J. Anderson and Don Hall found some fresh ways to deliver adorable animation while keeping the carefree spirit of A.A. Milne’s source material in tact. Their story isn’t the most original; the first part of the film finds Pooh Piglet Tigger and Owl searching for Eeyore’s tail (a common plot point in the books and past Pooh films) and hits all the predictable notes but the second half mixes things up a bit as the crew searches for a missing Christopher Robin whom they believe has been kidnapped by a forest creature known as the “Backson” (it’s really just the result of the illiterate Owl or is it?).
The beauty of hand-drawn animation all but forgotten until recently is what makes Winnie the Pooh so incredibly magnetic. There’s an inexplicable crispness to the colors and characters that CG just can’t duplicate. It’s a more personal practice for the filmmakers and should provide a refreshing experience for audiences who have become jaded with the pristine presentation of computerized imagery. The film is bookended by brief live-action shots from inside Robin’s room an interesting dynamic that plays up the simplicity of youth ties it to these beloved characters and brings you right back to memories of your own childhood.
With a just-over-an-hour run time Winnie the Pooh is short enough to hold the attention of children but won’t bore the parents who will love the film mainly for nostalgic musings. Still it’s the young’uns who will most enjoy this breezy bright and enchanting film that proves old-school characters can appeal to new moviegoers.