DJed last Sunday at Mars Bar, Dawn was going to join me (I have her to thank for the gig!), but wasn't feeling so hot, so I went solo. Doing next Wednesday as well, come on out! Here's Sunday's playlist:

Going on the diet as of the 6th. On the 5th, I want to have one last send-off meal. What's the greasiest, most indulgent calorie bomb restaurant in Detroit? Upscale/downscale, it don't matta. Everything from the Forest Grille to the Bread Basket has been tossed out. If you had a last meal, what would it be?

No pop, no alcohol, no fast food for all of July. Starting the Paleo diet on the 5th of July. Nothing but protein shakes for breakfast, home-cooked paleo meat and side for lunch and meat/side/dessert for dinner on weekdays. Got the page-long shopping list full of veggies to prove it. Gonna have an epic cookout, then portion out and freeze. Skirt steak fajitas, blackened catfish, jerk chiken, pot roast, pork chops and kraut, roasted root veggies, grilled cabbage with bacon dressing, marinated mushrooms, jamaican zucchini, gazpacho, peaches with almonds, and bananas with pears and honey. Should last me until the 16th, at which point I'll review my plan and come up with some new recipes if necessary. This is on top of biking to the gym, working out, and biking home three days a week. I'll be damned if I don't get my fucking six-pack now.

Just got back from my first ride on my new bike, a Bianchi Camaleonete II. Oof, hills are hard. I sought long and hard for the right bike, and now that I've ridden it I think I made the right choice. Forgiving but rigid frame, street tires just wide and cut up enough to make the occasional lawn job detour, good components without being snobby, and forgiving to the newbie without being a dead-end leisure bike should I eventually not suck at this. Yay! By the way bike folks, just how am I supposed to secure my lock to my bike while I'm riding it so that it doesn't end up rubbing my wheels, or worse off sticking in my pedals?

Just did the first. Deadlifts first brings to light a serious deficit in back stretching. Ass-to-ground squats are grinding my hip joint, must correct form and use hip drive. Third set of EVERYTHING makes the world suck for a minute. I CAN DO A DAMN CHIN-UP NOW. 12 in fact. DOUBLE my previous record, which has stood since grade school, when I barely weighed anything anyway. Straight-leg raises can be easy or impossible, the difference is half a second of holding at the top. Going to be pushing for more like 15-20 min on the elliptical. Feels good man.

After 6 years, I finally need a new PC at home. The graphics card is failing, resulting in hourly crashes and severe artifacts and slow display response. It's sad to see the ol' girl go, and it really wasn't that slow except with full-screen FLV files, but it's just plain time. As you may know, as big a console gamer as I am, I don't game on my PC, and instead build my personal machine like a little bitty server. ROCK MOTHERFUCKING STABLE. Here's the scary geek words:

And I'm reusing my Samsung 226bw LCD, Logitech LX8 mouse, and Unicomp Customizer 104 USB. Yes, it's massive, massive overkill. No, I do not care. I fully intend on this machine lasting another six years, and I don't want to open that case once in that entire length of time once I start installing the OS.

Oh, and in other news, I've officially gained my first five pounds of muscle from working out. Woot!

I can do this now. Just did. Phew! Gonna follow it up with some more planks, then get a shower. Was going to go to the gym, but I played video games until after they closed by accident (thought they did 6a-10p every day but Sunday). Ahh well, this works in my computer room, less stinky old dudes wobbling their cocks around right next to me.

EDIT: just did most of the routine again. Fuck, that trainer isn't kidding about improving stamina. He just kicks my ass an order of magnitude harder each time. My abs and lower back thank him!

Third visit to the gym complete. First personal trainer session was yesterday. He confirmed my suspicions: first, I have zero lung capacity. Second (and directly related to the first), I have zero stamina. Working on both. Five minutes on the treadmill for the trainer to figure something about my heart rate, then about 15 minutes of calisthenics to see how many squats/jumping jacks/plank-to-pushups-on-a-ball I could do before collapsing. Not many. But more than I could have done a week ago.

Tonight, I circled the track for 25 minutes. 5 minutes walking to warm up, then 3 laps jogging, 1 running. Ended up walking like 5 laps, but averaged 9 minutes per mile for 2.3 miles in 20 minutes. Was told not to walk at all by the trainer, but I'm becoming extremely well versed at kicking my own ass and can handle that quite effectively thanks. Tomorrow's my day off, then the next trainer session. Got some of that "turbo super advanced wheyabolic" bullshit from GNC, doing 30 grams after each workout. We'll see how this goes after a month.

Walked 24 miles last week, then skated 8 at Kensington. Unf. Slow's BBQ and Belgian beer were consumed, though, so this week I'm hitting the pavement extra hard. TDS Metrocom gave me an iPod Touch, so I've got motivation. Feels good man. Starting weight is technically unknown, but with full clothing, various crap in pockets, just ate, in the middle of a long night of poker (and thereby beer), I was 186. Current naked weight is 174.2. If I can count five pounds for shoes and clothes, and one for phone/keys, I've lost 5.8 pounds in just over three weeks. Fuck yeah.

Anyone want to buy some switches? I've got a 24-port gigabit, two 24-port 10/100, and one 48-port 10/100 with 2 gigabit ports and 2 SFPs. Let's say $300 for the set or $150 for the all-gigabit, $100 for the 48port, and/or $75 apiece for the 24s. All rack mountable, all managed. HP ProCurves. Cute and cuddly Cthulhu not included.

So, after nigh 18 years of a sedentary lifestyle of pizza and video games, I've decided I'd like to be in shape. I'm about 175 pounds and a 34" waist now, which I suppose isn't bad. I'd like to be about the same but with a much, much lower BMI when I'm done. Right now I've got a burgeoning beer belly and about 1 1/2" love handles. I'd like to have a flat stomach and sides, a slimmer face, bigger legs, and the overall slight suggestion of muscle tone beneath taut skin. More Edward Norton in Fight Club than Brad Pitt.

To do this, I've started walking. I'm going to walk 4 miles a day, three days a week. I'm going to take in about 1300-1900 calories per day whether I exercise or not. It's actually pretty cool to get to be downtown every other day. Seeing neighborhoods, gardens, people passing by. The first day went badly overall, but was interesting. Decided I needed a goal and a reward, so I got two beers at Ashley's, which was my turnaround point. Of course, walking 4 miles burnt 400 calories, and two beers is 400 calories. On the way back, some jackass in a Miata was already over the crosswalk when I was trying to cross, and then started inching when I entered the street. Fucker actually nudged my knee. Sure, it was at .2 miles an hour and didn't even leave a bruise, but the asscactus hit me with his car. I responded by sitting down on his hood and putting my ring down pretty hard on the paint. He drove away, knowing if he said anything it would have to start with "so I hit this guy with my car, and..."

Today, I bought a pair of running shoes and a pedometer, and switched the beer for a 0-calorie drink. No booze tonight plus extra lean diet today means I took in 1100 calories and burned 400. Going to try to return the shoes, the lady said they don't come in different colors but their website says otherwise. I wore them home, so maybe I'm screwed, but meh. I can live with looking weird in black pants and silver/white/blue shoes. Thighs are a bit chapped again today, I don't even know if they make "walking shorts". They're probably just flabby, either they'll shrink or the skin will toughen up soon.

In the eating department, I'm still going to eat fast food every workday lunch. 3 tacos from Taco Bell with a bunch of hot sauce is still 490 calories. Hell, my favorite Quizno's sub is still only 700. Still going to eat nukables for dinner. Trying to keep those under 600, but that doesn't take much, most nukables are diet food anyway. On the weekends I'm going to eat whatever the hell I want, but maybe take ridiculous portions home with me instead of wolfing it all down.

So if I keep to this regimen, the internets say I'll lose 2 pounds a week without even taking exercise in to the equation That means I only have to do this for 5 months to get down to 140. With the exercise, maybe I can do it in 3. Maybe in the real world where I drink beer, slack off, and pig out, 6 months. Now I don't expect to ever actually weigh 140, that's just what I figure I weigh without any body fat or increase in muscle mass. In the end, I'd like to add 20 pounds of muscle mass, mostly in my back, tummy, and calves. So in the end, I'll be 160, but have a BMI closer to 21 than 28. The muscle building I'm partly doing now, but I plan on losing the weight and building the endurance first. Then I'll up the calories to about 2600 per day, add three eggs a day, cut the walking down to the YMCA and back, and start lifting weights and using machines. No funky protein shakes, no 20 pills a day. Just a multivitamin, some eggs, and enough daily calories to support an increase in muscle mass. I'll do this until I'm happy with myself, then recalculate what I need to do to maintain that weight with little to no exercise. Yes, I'm going to go right back to being lazy, just not eat as much. We'll see how it goes.

From: Guy I work with
To: Me
Bingo!
_____________________________________________
From: Me
To: Guy I work with
Then they screwed up their reply-to, or they’ve configured that address to refuse incoming mail
since it’s just for mass mailings and they want you to contact someone in particular. Check
for “do not reply to this” in the original email, it may be there.
_____________________________________________
From: Guy I work with
To: Me
Still doesn’t make sense, I replied to their email?
_____________________________________________
From: Me
To: Guy I work with
It means the address you sent to is wrong according to [their mailserver]
_____________________________________________
From: Guy I work with
To: Me
Kevin, what does this mean?
_____________________
From: System Administrator
To: Guy I work with
Your message did not reach some or all of the intended recipients.
[blah blah error message]

Gul-dernit, there seems to be no such thing as a rental cabin somewhere within 2 hours of Asheville, NC that has AC, is near swimmable/tube-able water of some kind, has a good view, has hiking, and is more than 100 feet from any adjacent buildings, but is accessible without having a bogger truck. Tarnation and such!

Doors as always at 10PM, drinks 'til 2AM, close at 4:30 or whenever you just can't take the blistering awesomeness in your face any longer. 18+ welcome, 21+ to get plastered. $3 to get in before 11PM, a scant four bucks thereafter.The Amazon Goddess, the Killer Beauty, and the Living Legend join forces in the name of truth, justice, and rocking your fucking asses off! Be there or miss the hottest Industrial DJs in the D!

Because you're my awesome friend and you rule so hard, please repost the crap out of this! It's clubgoer-tested, DJ-approved.

Doors as always at 10PM, drinks 'til 2AM, close at 4:30 or whenever you just can't take the blistering awesomeness in your face any longer. 18+ welcome, 21+ to get plastered. $2 to get in before 11PM, a scant four bucks thereafter.The Amazon Goddess, the Killer Beauty, and the Living Legend join forces in the name of truth, justice, and rocking your fucking asses off! Be there or miss the hottest Industrial DJs in the D!

Because you're my awesome friend and you rule so hard, please repost the crap out of this! It's clubgoer-tested, DJ-approved.