Bubble Gum

was talking with a girl at the hospital last night and she knows about the site asked me about the sexual double standard. it was the typical, “why aren’t guys sluts for banging a bunch of girls but if a girl fucks a bunch of guys she’s a total slut.” *sigh*

even with the key/lock analogy, i wasn’t getting through to her. the hamster was strong with this one. so i had too change tactics and go in for a direct assault-

“marrying or committing to a slut is like finding a piece of chewed bubble gum on a park bench and deciding that it’d be a good idea to put it in your mouth.”

this got her. she made the face. you know the face, the face that shows a light bulb went off. she tried to throw it back at me by saying that that applies to men as well. and i simply told her that the analogy doesn’t apply to men because in terms of relationships, women don’t care about gum. the more chewed the gum, obviously the better it is since everyone wants a piece.

i FINALLY got through to her, and i asked her how old she was and if she’s had at least 5 sex partners. she admitted she had and she was 19. i asked her if it were safe to say she typically dates 2-3 guys in a year. she again, said that that sounded about right.

“then, by averages, you’ll have slept with 15 men by the time she’s 24 (her prime in the SMP as i explained to her) IF she were to only date 2 guys a year and 20 if it were 3. “you my dear are on the carousel. the cock carousel. now i’m only including BF’s. i’m not counting the miscellaneous hook-up’s you might have. and see, the guys you’re turning down now. they’re the ones that are probably marriage minded, will probably want NOTHING to do with you when you decide you want to “settle down”. part of my site is to teach guys how to spot the chewed bubble gum from the fresh pieces. and i tell men they need to post-pone marriage until they get in their 30’s, because then, they have more options. and you’re natural hypergamous instincts (had to explain hypergamy to her) means the older you are, the less likely the men you’re attracted to will want you. since, you know, she’s chewed gum on a park bench. and since a 32 year old guy typically has his shit together better than a 26 yo guy, that 32 yo man has MANY more options than a 30 yo woman. hell, i haven’t had more than a FWB deal with women in their 30’s for the last 4-5 years. the women i date now tend to be 19-24. and i’m damn near 40.”

this had her on the ropes. i explained to her that this indeed the time to figure what she needs with a guy, and i know all to well that a former slut can see the err in her ways and make a change and doesn’t mean she’s rooned, but….that her partner number counts to quality men. she of course replied that she’ll be maried by then. i el-oh-el’d and told her i’d bet money she’ll end up pregnant, then get married, then divorce in about 5 years. that i had seen this happen NUMEROUS times in my 19 years in the military. AND after the marriage ends, she’ll probably be close to 30 and her chances to find another long term partner will diminish significantly. then told her the story of my friend back in san deezy. how the SAME.EXACT.THING happened to her. she’s now 29 and she’s finally to a point where she’s sick of men and instead will concentrate on her son. she was basically a pump and dump for every guy she dated after her divorce. her relationships didn’t last more than 6 months (hello, my “rule of 3’s) after her marriage ended. the i NAILED her-

“but of course, this won’t happen to YOU right?” she said nothing. i told her i wasn’t trying to be a dick or to scare her, but just wanted her to be aware of the reality of the modern SMP. from a man who’s knee deep in it and has a LOT of experience with this shit. all the emails i get from women, reading the testimony of women and men who’ve been through divorce. i can only tell her the truth, what she does with it is on her. “just food for thought, you do the dishes girl.”

chewed bubble gum is my new go-to analogy for the SMP in regards to partner count.

“Having multiple partners also makes it harder for men to bond as well.”

That is correct. That is why historically men with a high count have been referred to as cads (not alphas, as the more deluded in the Manosphere believe). They cannot bond. I have seen this more than once. To use one example I know a guy with a count of about 100 women. He has never loved any woman and says if he had to do it over again he’d be a high-school coach instead of a doctor. He told me regrets his ruined life. And I’ll point out when you reach a certain age it is nearly impossible to change yourself.

The male equivalent of a slut is a cad…and all of them are liars and cowards. I have never seen an exception to that.

For once, I’m happy i -don’t- recognize myself all the way in your analogies. 30, divorced – yup. Not a single pump n dump since the divorce, and not a relationsship either, cause I made a choice to stay outta the game to clear my head and to sort my own head before jumping into something new.

I’ll be up against 20-somethings when I get back into the scene, and they wont have kids and exhusbands. On the other side, they’ll have bitchy attitudes and lots of one night stands in the age gap I was married. Maybe it’ll even the score a bit. I hope so! 😉

for me, single mom’s need to put their time into the kids, i get that. however, that leaves little time for me. and i don’t kids, much less deal with someone else’s kid/s. i remember when my mom started dating again-

I’d never introduce my kids to anyone i wasnt very serious about and was just dating. The thing about this society, though, is that fathers are very in on the patenting, so when there’s divorces, the most common thing here, is sharing the kids 50/50. That leaves time to missing your kids, yup – but also time to getting to know someone new in your life.

The weekend at their dads every other week is a very rare solution here nowadays.

sadly, i know MANY single moms that DON’T make the kids their priority. i was “seeing” a single mom when i first moved out. by “seeing” i mena i was a booty call when her ex had the kids. it never really went anywhere b/c she was just waiting for the house to sell then she was moving.

it was PERFECT. lol. never met the kids directly. i was kept DL, which was fine with me.

trust me, i’ve seen some single moms WAAAAAAAAY too often at my local. i think to myself, “it’s 9pm, why aren’t you at home with your kids” (i knew she had full custody). sad.

Yup, dont get that either. There’s no way I’d get my kids babysat just to go out for a casual drink. It’s different if it’s an important friends birthday or something, but seeing as I do have days where the kids are at my exhusbands, I make a principle of doing the social bit there, and just nesting with my boys when they’re with me.

I was introduced to that concept by a male friend also. He said though, that men are “studs” cuz convincing a woman to sleep with them is hard and requires skill. For a woman, it’s so easy that a woman who sleeps with many men is just being easy.

well Im interested to see this power shift y’all keep talking about…. 27 here. college town. Graduate in 9 weeks. then i move back to a big city and spend the next 3 months in isolation studying for a licensing exam. past 3 years though, only been coming across entitled 19-23 year old alpha bitches. when does that shift finally hit home?

Learned this hard last night; tried to chew the bubble gum, thinking it might be worth a shot.

Her; 34; two children, different fathers, divorced from one, never married to the first; kids are 16 and 13. What is sad is that the kids are probably the best part of her. I feel for them. They know she’s crazy. They love her anyway. That’s the nature of children.

I saw her briefly last year, and she’s put on an easy 30 lbs since then. She’s hitting the wall of the SMP hard, started taking diet pills a couple weeks ago to try and lose the weight. Last year, I trained with her to complete a Tough Mudder. She’s been on a downhill slide physically since then.

I have myself to blame, she broke it off last year. Shortly thereafter, I went red pill. We ran into each other and then she came back. Apologetic for a time. I thought she might have changed.

MY mistake this time was giving her another chance. I didn’t sleep with her the first time. I did the second time.

Two weeks ago, she admitted she’s selfish. She can’t love a partner unconditionally.

Again, going with her, again, was MY mistake. I reverted to Beta and thought I could fix her.

Almost 37; attorney, solid and steadily improving work prospects, I keep in pretty damn good shape and am raising a Spartan boy. I can work on a home with the best of them. (shit, if I make enough money, I may quit the attorney gig and become an electrician. It’s more rewarding.)

The reason? I didn’t “fit” her lifestyle.

Say what? Her lifestyle? The lifestyle of being completely out of control and unable to accept responsibility? Buying a car that she can barely afford? Unable to really maintain her home (in either the sense of maintaining the structures and improving it, or cleaning. She had the most disgusting kitchen sink I have ever seen.) She works sales, does a good job at it, but her lifestyle, such as it is, would be destroyed in an instant if she lost that job.

I think there is one additional lesson here. If a woman’s circle of close friends consists of other single mothers that tend to have multiple children by multiple fathers…then she tends to fall into the category of used bubble gum.

I’m pretty mad. I may be for a while and then I’ll move on. I am mad at her, but I’m mad at failing myself…

Until then, I keep reading the 16 Commandments at CH. My mission is going to be my boy, my job, and staying in the best shape possible. I’ll either find a woman that recognizes my value, or the Japanese will develop the sex bots. I’d rather try to build a relationship. I just don’t know that it will happen any more.

You sound a bit like me. I am 48, divorced twice. I have one 13 year old son who lives with me half of each week. I have joint custody. My son is my priority. I will never trust a woman totally again. I work out every day for at least 4 hours and am much happier now that I am not a slave to any hamster.

[…] So virgin brides are least likely to divorce you and will bond strongly with you but there is another reason for choosing a virgin bride. Consider how a man, if he has not been shamed into thinking otherwise or simply does not care, views a woman who has had sex with other men. For that I shall quote Dannyfrom504, […]

[…] This evokes a feeling in a girl that will help her to understand. However, since this comment has been made, Danny has come up with an analogy that can really help send home the idea of a high N girl that girls and women can much better relate to (while I absolutely love the key/lock analogy, it elicits little feeling beyond anger (and how clever it is)). Used bubble gum. […]

Absolutely fantastic post, and spot on, on many levels.
The game has been stacked against men:
-no expectation of virginity from a prospective wife
-no expectation of regular sex from a wife
-no expectation of domestic skill
-no expectation of respect
-CLEAR expectations of financial support, regardless of wife’s behavior