shout out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention... stay classy!

A shop owner is trying to convince people that the above line isn't shaming women for how they dress, not at all! It's just a shout out to creative gals! Also, slut shaming is just a buzz word! Barf.

My cousin posted that on facebook and also just a second ago posted something like "You can't shake a hors d'oeuvre tree and expect a housewife to fall out".

Which is kinda amazing to me because we had to defend the shiitake out of her when she worked at hooters, slept around a lot and had kids out of wedlock. Why would she turn around and act like she waited til marriage?

Ugh, that is even worse. Maybe your cousin thinks of herself as "reformed" and believes the stuff she did before was bad, and therefore she's okay with saying that? I don't know.

I'm totally perplexed by this shop employee, though, since they really seem to believe that statement wasn't at all offensive. Like if I said, "Shout out to women who don't wear spandex!" that's obviously supposed to mean I don't think women should wear spandex, right? That's the whole reason it was framed that way!

_________________"I feel like it's not a real political discussion if I'm not morally opposed to something I don't understand." - ndpittman

_________________If you spit on my food I will blow your forking head off, you filthy shitdog. - MumblesDon't you know that vegan meat is the gateway drug to chicken addiction? Because GMO and trans-fats. - kaerlighed

shout out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention... stay classy!

A shop owner is trying to convince people that the above line isn't shaming women for how they dress, not at all! It's just a shout out to creative gals! Also, slut shaming is just a buzz word! Barf.

This is such a clear cut comment, how the hell could someone not know what they're saying when they say that?

_________________"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian

Mr T was just watching ESPN and there was something I have never seen before: women's football, with the women wearing basically pantaloons and a sportsbra and pads. I'm sorry, but what the fuckety fork is that shiitake [ETA: besides the obvious jerkoff material; i mean, they may as well have inserted breaks for all the ladies to suck on ice pops and talk about How Very Hot they get playing football.]

You know those suuuuper funny "found the vegan" pictures? This morning I saw a picture of a girl joking about wanting to be raped on facebook and then another girl telling her it wasn't funny and then a lovely comment of "found the rape victim"

You know those suuuuper funny "found the vegan" pictures? This morning I saw a picture of a girl joking about wanting to be raped on facebook and then another girl telling her it wasn't funny and then a lovely comment of "found the rape victim"

"He created her with a womb. And in fact that's the most distinguishing characteristic of a woman. In the American Webster's 1928 dictionary, it says that woman is combination of two words: womb and man. She is a womb-man."

You know those suuuuper funny "found the vegan" pictures? This morning I saw a picture of a girl joking about wanting to be raped on facebook and then another girl telling her it wasn't funny and then a lovely comment of "found the rape victim"

What the fork is wrong with people.

_________________"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian

You know those suuuuper funny "found the vegan" pictures? This morning I saw a picture of a girl joking about wanting to be raped on facebook and then another girl telling her it wasn't funny and then a lovely comment of "found the rape victim"

WOW

_________________"One time I meant to send a potential employer a resume, but I accidentally sent them a bucket of puke!

This man who works at a shoe repair shop by my gym. I've always found him creepy; he stares a bit too long when I walk past going to the gym. Today I brought a pair of shoes to him and he said, "I see you all the time. I see you like tattoos. I hope you don't plan on getting anymore, though." I said something along the lines of, "Infact, I have plans for many more" and he said, "Ohh...." in this really disappointed tone. Then he follows that up with, "I don't like it when women have lots of tattoos. It looks bad. What you have now is acceptable and you still look pretty." I grabbed my shoes and told him nevermind on the repairs and walked away.

Seriously, what the fizzle?! Why is my body and my choices with it up for debate with a STRANGER?! As if I give a shiitake if that guy thinks my tattoos are attractive. fdkjfdsljsdlkfjsdlfksj

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface

We have a gossip problem at my job. When the gossipers are called on it, they like to trot out the "Oh well, what do you expect when you work with a bunch of women?" as if it's a valid response. It makes me want to kick them in the face. I don't talk shiitake about people, I address them directly, and I don't appreciate anyone telling me that because I'm a woman the urge to gossip is part of my forking DNA. It also promotes the idea that women can't be have genuine friendships because we're constantly sniping at one another. It's insulting, and it irritates me that these women don't seem to understand that they SHOULD be insulted by this shitty stereotype.

This man who works at a shoe repair shop by my gym. I've always found him creepy; he stares a bit too long when I walk past going to the gym. Today I brought a pair of shoes to him and he said, "I see you all the time. I see you like tattoos. I hope you don't plan on getting anymore, though." I said something along the lines of, "Infact, I have plans for many more" and he said, "Ohh...." in this really disappointed tone. Then he follows that up with, "I don't like it when women have lots of tattoos. It looks bad. What you have now is acceptable and you still look pretty." I grabbed my shoes and told him nevermind on the repairs and walked away.

Seriously, what the fizzle?! Why is my body and my choices with it up for debate with a STRANGER?! As if I give a shiitake if that guy thinks my tattoos are attractive. fdkjfdsljsdlkfjsdlfksj

THANK YOU. I can't even begin to describe how feed up I have been lately with men commenting on various aspects of my physical appearance. Even if it's just 'those glasses look really good on you.' -all I want to do is shout at them 'thank you for your approval, now my life means something. And when they criticize something (like a piercing), I want to ask them if I am supposed to feel like I need to apologize for letting them down.

There are 3 people on this planet who get to say anything about my appearance and choices, and they are, in order:

Acceptable? I wasn't aware you needed male approval for each and every tattoo.

_________________"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian

Good for you, 4P! I hope that guy realized how completely inappropriate his comments were.

It makes me really sad how entrenched this mentality is. I mean, when I was first dating my husband he once went off on some diatribe about how he thought pierced/tattooed/made up women were unattractive and gross and how women should know men don't like that stuff. I had to literally say, "you realize your opinion about what others choose to do with their body is irrelevant, right?" This is a dude who is otherwise not sexist and is very much a feminist, but was still of the belief that his opinions about women's bodies and choices had actual weight--to the point that he was trying to discourage me (essentially a stranger at that point) from making body modifications. Someone actually had to point out how problematic his attitude was before he could recognize it himself. I mean, fine, you don't dig tattoes? Whatever. But thinking that should influence a stranger's decisions so that they're more attractive to you? Ugh. That's what we're up against.

I think a lot of dudes can't wrap their heads around the fact that just because their penis doesn't like something doesn't mean that that matters at all.

_________________If you spit on my food I will blow your forking head off, you filthy shitdog. - MumblesDon't you know that vegan meat is the gateway drug to chicken addiction? Because GMO and trans-fats. - kaerlighed

_________________"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian

I am kind of shocked at the lack of outrage around the issue of sexual assaults and bullying in the military and the crazy hubbub around allegations of preferential treatment of certain teaparty groups by the IRS. One is about people's lives while the other is really just about money. But then one is about a marginalized group and one is about the people who support the GOP.

26,000 service members were sexually assaulted last year. I was listening to survivor stories on NPR and they were terrible and so sad, and I thought back to j-dub's post that rape breaks people. One story was from a woman who signed up with an Air Force recruiter who then invited her to his house to meet other recruits and learn more about the Air Force. Once there he roofied and raped her. The documentary, on this "The Invisible War" talks about how there are serial predators in the military who know exactly how to target their victims. And a system in place to cover up their acts, down to three star generals dismissing all charges against them. Trigger warning: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... =184206620

i listened to those podcasts too, and the contrast is interesting, isn't it. I think it's really telling that for such a long time the administrative response [or lack thereof] is basically an acceptance of the status quo. I mean, really, since Tailhook this stuff has not been a secret yet it continues to happen. Lack of real response seems to equal acceptance.

THANK YOU. I can't even begin to describe how feed up I have been lately with men commenting on various aspects of my physical appearance. Even if it's just 'those glasses look really good on you.' -all I want to do is shout at them 'thank you for your approval, now my life means something. And when they criticize something (like a piercing), I want to ask them if I am supposed to feel like I need to apologize for letting them down.

There are 3 people on this planet who get to say anything about my appearance and choices, and they are, in order:

sister 2sister 1husband

Really? My husband likes to compliment strangers and friends alike on something that stands out to him, and I don't find it offensive. The people he compliments are usually either happy he noticed something nice about them (friends), or think he's queer (strangers...an unfounded assumption, but he likes to compliment people on interesting jewelry pieces and the like, and we know some people can't comprehend that stereotypes should not be a thing).

Definitely a stranger's criticism of tattoos or piercings challenges my feminism, but I think genuine compliments are just a human being nice to another human.

I'm not offended by compliments, I mean its not like if someone says they like my dress it doesn't mean my life was on hold waiting for their approval. I was just livin ma life and someone complimented my taste and that's cool. It's weirder when someone compliments my eyes because I have no control over what color my eyes are but I'm not offended. The lady who said I had pretty eyes and then that my coworker had pretty eyes too and that we should have children together...now she may have been out of line.

I'm not offended by compliments, I mean its not like if someone says they like my dress it doesn't mean my life was on hold waiting for their approval. I was just livin ma life and someone complimented my taste and that's cool. It's weirder when someone compliments my eyes because I have no control over what color my eyes are but I'm not offended. The lady who said I had pretty eyes and then that my coworker had pretty eyes too and that we should have children together...now she may have been out of line.

Same here. Those things are just general friendliness to me. I posted in the body shaming thread about people asking if I'd lost weight because I looked nice yesterday. I'd have felt nice if they had commented on my hair cut or different-for-me outfit or my new sparkly eyeliner.

Of course people generally don't talk to me, so I suppose I shouldn't complain then when they try to be nice, even if it backfires. They meant well.

_________________"This is the creepiest post ever if you don't know who Molly is." -Fee"a vegan death match sounds like something where we all end up hugging." -LisaPunk

THANK YOU. I can't even begin to describe how fed up I have been lately with men commenting on various aspects of my physical appearance.

I think genuine compliments are just a human being nice to another human.

Well her experience is her experience, and it sounds like it is colored by a pretty hostile work environment (which she posts about upthread).

Not to make you wrong vijita, but it made me think. I posted that I hate it when men talk about how gorgeous my daughter is. And immediately got a few responses to the effect of "relax, he's just trying to be nice." And the thing is, yes, he was just trying to be nice, but why don't I get to have my feelings, without having to immediately think myself into the man's head and try and figure out what his intent was? The thing is that we live in a society where little girls get sexualized so early, and get told over and over how beautiful they are and that has an impact on how they value themselves. And I am responding to that.

The thing is that you can't ever tell how someone is going to take a compliment, so you just do the best you can and be responsible if you end up hurting someone. But if someone says that they don't like it, then it would be great if people could honor that, instead of making excuses, you know?

And that challenges my feminism, that we live in a world, where our experience is questioned, and we have to learn to constantly look at our own experiences through a male gaze as part of our processing.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.