Author
Topic: Asked to bring food (Read 2700 times)

missmew

My friends have a habit of inviting me to get-togethers at their house, at the last minute, and asking me to bring specific things, like shrimp rings, or once, a bottle of expensive liquor. They don't ask everyone, it's not like it's a pot-luck.Am I wrong in thinking this is rude? They aren't poor. I think they just weren't raised properly. (For instance, no one got thank-you notes for their wedding presents.)Is there a polite way to decline to bring anything the next time they ask?

Whatever you choose to say, unless you've offered to bring something or it's a stated pot luck, they should not be asking you to get anything for the dinner. But that's just me as a hostess. If I invite people over, I'm doing all the work and should be prepared. I mean if they needed plastic cups I could see asking a guest to make a quick stop, maybe. But a last minute food item? Um, no. They need to plan better. Sorry. Wish I had some better advice. Maybe someone else will!

If these are really good friends who won't be too offended, you might tell them, "I'd really appreciate not being asked to bring things with me when I attend your parties. It makes me feel like I'm being charged an attendance fee."

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Olivia

"I'm so sorry! I didn't realize it was potluck, and I don't have time to stop at the store. Of course, I would never show up empty handed, and I already purchased a nice bottle of red wine as a hostess gift, so that will have to be my contribution. I hope that's OK."

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loopey2u

My friends and I do that to each other all the time, and nobody minds.

If it's 7:00 on a Saturday night, and one of us decides to have everybody over at the last minute to play cards or something because we're all bored, I think it's fine to ask those coming to bring a little something.

But we're talking about bringing a 2 liter of pop or some paper plates or cups, not expensive bottles of wine or shrimp.

I'd be ticked if somebody invited me over and told me what to bring. Especially if it was expensive.

If invited ahead of time and they ask you to bring something tell them, "Sorry I can't do that" and turn down future invite.

If they are asking you at the last minute tell them, "Sorry I won't be there I have other plans."

Your neighbor has you on the "B" list and is having you pay for the honor of being there by telling you to bring X and you doing so. This is obvious because they are not asking this of the others as well as inviting you at the last minute.

The excuse they don't know better because they weren't raised properly doesn't cut it. They are showing that they know better by only doing this to a few people.

missmew

Thanks for your answers. The reason I asked is because it makes me feel like they don't simply want me for my company. If it was some type of formal dinner I would automatically bring a gift, but these are informal get togethers. I've had parties like that myself and usually people bring wine without me having to ask, though I don't expect it. I would never start giving food orders.

I think they ask me because I've known them for years (the husband, the wife I've known for a couple years) We are all in our 30s now.

I considered inviting them to my place to show them how it's done, but I can't, as one is allergic to cats.

I would love to tell them what's on my mind, but I can't because I think it would ruin the friendship.