‘Hello’ I said slowly. ‘What did you do that for? Do you know what you just cost me? A relationship I have worked for, for two years. Gone down the drain, just like that.’ Lade screamed. ‘Babe calm down.’ I replied. Why was he shouting now? Is he the first person that his relationship will scatter? People that have broken up after six years didn’t shout like this, it’s now you. Ordinary two years. Mscheww. Abeg let me hear word.
‘I should calm down? Really? That’s all you’re going to say? Calm down?’ he screamed again. ‘I don’t even understand what’s going on. What exactly happened?’ I said, feigning ignorance. ‘Is anything the matter?’ I heard Emeka ask. I made a hand gesture for him not to worry as I stood up from my chair and walked towards the rest room. Lade had already explained how his girlfriend read the message I had sent him. ‘How was I supposed to know that she would see it? I didn’t even know she was in the country’ I said, trying to defend myself. ‘Are you serious? I told you to stay away from me already and you come with this stupid message?’ he answered. Stay away kor, stay away ni. If I leave him alone, do I know anywhere else? This one better deal with the fact that I am here to stay. No retreat, no surrender. ‘Honey I am so sorry. I had no idea. I was just missing you and and…’ I broke down into crocodile tears. Lade had to believe I was actually sorry and for that to happen, he had to think I regretted what I did and was crying about it. He didn’t say anything as I was shedding my tears. ‘Darling I said I’m sorry, it won’t happen again I promise you. Please forgive me. Please’ I said again. ‘How can it happen again? Nadine and I are already done. It’s no use’ he said. ‘I will make it up to you. I promise. Please, let me.’ I said in my shaky voice. ‘Fine fine. We can talk about this later. I need to clear my head now.’ He said. ‘But you don’t sound fine. Where are you? I can come and meet you there. I started this, I want to take responsibility for it’ I said. ‘Fine then. I am going to be at Ocean Basket. In VI’ He said. ‘No problem. I would meet…’ I was still talking when he hung up. How can you be hanging up when I haven’t even finished my statement? Mscheww. Na me kuku find trouble. Make I no complain.

I walked back to the table and met Emeka still eating his food. This one is slow sha, two wraps of pounded yam that he was served ages ago, he was still moulding it up and down. ‘Babym, are you alright? What happened?’ He asked. ‘Yes I am. Thank you. I have to go now, thank you for the food. I really appreciate.’ I answered. ‘Just like that? Me nko? What will happen to me?’ he asked. See me see trouble o. He wanted me to leave my Lade and sit down there with him, discussing containers on the high sea. Such nonsense. ‘Emeka, I don’t understand. You’re still eating. I can’t wait for you to finish. I have to attend to something that needs my attention urgently.’ I answered while walking away. Only for him to grab my wrist and drag me back. With hand that he had used to play with pounded yam. Ewww. Which kain life abeg? ‘Bia this girl, where do you think you are going? You want to eat my money and run away? Athink?’ he said in his deep igbo accent. This illiterate was out to fall my hand in public and I couldn’t let him. I knew shouting at him wouldn’t solve the problem, I had to be sweet. ‘Run away ke? How can I run away? In this Lagos where you run things? Mba o.’ I answered. ‘It’s like they have sent this one this evening. What kind of embarrassment is this?’ I thought to myself. ‘Emmy, I already told you I was hurrying somewhere. Let me give you my number, so you can call me later. Biko’ I added. ‘Ok, give me your number’ he said, while handing his phone to me. I typed my number, gave him back his phone, then turned to walk out again. ‘Wait o. Let me call the number and make sure it is not fake, because you girls of nowadays ehnn’ I heard him say. I halted and waited for him to call the number. As my phone rang, I brought it out of my purse and showed him that the call actually went through. The idiot now started smiling sheepishly again as I walked away.

I walked towards the gate to get a cab as I didn’t have time for the wahala of an Uber driver. After successfully finding a cab and settling price, I got into the cab and went straight to Ocean Basket. It didn’t take me long before I got there. I alighted from the cab, did the sign of the cross and walked into the restaurant. I looked round and I didn’t find him anywhere, so I called his phone. ‘Hey, where are you? I’m here’ I said. ‘Come upstairs’ He said. I dropped the phone, looked round for the staircase and went upstairs. ‘Hey bubba. How are you?’ I said, as I tried to give him a kiss. He moved away and left me kissing the air. ‘Do I look fine to you? After that useless stunt you pulled. You expect me to be fine?’ he said, with a straight look on his face. I quickly switched to my pity face and said ‘I’m really sorry. I didn’t know it was going to get to this. I was just missing you and…’ ‘Missing me? Whatever for? Didn’t I already tell you to leave me alone?’ He yelled. What was his own sef? Small play, he was already flaring up and ranting. If I now recorded video and sent to the babe nko? That means he would have killed me na. This was not going to deter me sha, he was just doing initial gra gra, because me, I wasn’t moving an inch from there. ‘Lade, I apologise. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to scatter your relationship. I would do anything to make it up to you. Anything at all’ I said. I had already worked up tears to roll down, so that he would soft pedal. He looked at me and saw tears in my eyes and his face went from angry to pitiful. ‘It’s okay. Don’t cry’ he said, as he moved close to me. Just as he was about to hold me, my phone rang. My mother was calling. Jesus. My mother was the kind of woman that had antenna ears. She could pick any sound from the background and tell you were not where you were supposed to be. Me I knew I was going to lie about my location, as always, but with Lade present, I didn’t want to lie in his presence, before he will look at me like all these loose girls that have no respect for their parents. Fuck it… ‘Hello mummy…’