"Hey, remember when we were both in Hugo, one of 2011's Best Picture Oscar nominees?"

After last week’s amazing selection of quality cinema on DVD, this week was bound to feel like a bit of a let-down, but really, it’s not all that bad. There’s The Dictator, which was practically scientifically engineered for all of your ‘I’ll wait for the DVD’ needs. There’s also a Jack Black flick you probably missed as well as new flicks from Robert De Niro, Jennifer Connelly, and Dolph Lundgren. There’s a whole bunch of sincere indie dramas, an Oscar winning film, an elevator-based thriller, and a documentary about people who probably have sex less often than you do. Now that’s saying something. There’s even a zombie a-hole.

The DVDs:The Dictator
Bernie
Freelancers
One In The Chamber
Virginia
Home Run Showdown
Let Go
A Separation
Hide Away
California Indian
Elevator
Ecstasy Of Order: The Tetris Masters
Shuffle
Children Of The Hunt
A Day Of Violence
Zombie A-Hole

Can’t remember which one of those won an Oscar? Can’t guess which one is set on an elevator? Really? You can’t figure that one out? Christ, you can be dense sometimes. Lucky for you I break it all down beginning on the next page. There’s even an open letter to Robert De Niro along with the usual Netflix streaming suggestions. You can skip to it right now by clicking here, but that’s kind of cheating unless you’re the real Robert De Niro, in which case, “Hi!”

Cuba Gooding Jr. and Dolph Lundgren as rival assassins is patently unrealistic. If you needed to hire a guy to kill someone, would anyone in their right mind choose the guy from Snow Dogs if they had the option of Dolph, who I’m almost certain has actually killed a dude at least once.

i liked seeking justice. I generally like nicholas cage or at least find him watchable though. january jones is a tougher sell but I didn’t find her unpleasant in it. and then it has guy pearce, Harold Perrineau, and Xander Berkeley. also i thought the plot and everything was pretty interesting.

not sure i understand the jabs at katherine heigl. i also always consider her watchable. but yeah bobby d obviously hasn’t been his old self in a while. did we expect him to to become the next godfather or what though?

I won’t say that Analyze This is a good movie, but I do stand by the statement that most people see Meet The Parents as the turning point in his career -maybe because in Analyze This he was still playing a ‘De Niro’ type. At any rate, one is streaming and one isn’t so the choice on where to place blame was easy.