Friday, May 9, 2014

Filled To The Top And Overflowing

It's been a good day. Really and truly.
I walked and damn if I didn't encounter a dog way down the path when I was walking (against advice) in the woods. I looked at him, I turned around, I went the other way. I've been dog-bit too many times to force that particular issue. But it was fine. He didn't follow me and all was well.

Then I went to town and got my glasses. I put them on and I said, "Oh hell. I can't see anything out of these." It was a sharp shock but within a very few minutes I realized that if I just let myself relax into vision, I could see. And in fifteen minutes I was seeing better than I've seen in years. My brain is going to have to adjust. I know that. When I take them off now it's all screwy but I have faith. It's going to work.

I went to the MALL! I looked at stuff. I tried some stuff on. I found a shirt I really liked. It was aquamarine and floaty but it was 100% polyester. Do you know how hot it gets in Cozumel? I took it back to the rack. I went to the Gap and bought one very thin blue sleeveless cotton shirt that I'll probably wear at least ten times. And a "bra." I went to Forever 21. Stop laughing. They have a huge selection of knock-off shit, some of it quite lovely. There was a T-shirt with a glittery beaded Rolling Stones Tongue. I sort of yearned for it but then I wasn't sure if it was ironic or not. I left it where it was.

I went to the Verizon store to talk to someone about the sucky battery life on my iPhone. I really want a new phone. Mine is two years old which is like four million years in dog's life. The woman who helped me was one of the most beautiful human beings I've ever seen up close and personal. So beautiful that I finally said, in the middle of her telling me about the Verizon Cloud, "I'm sorry, but I just have to say this. You are beautiful. You are a glorious example of a beautiful human being."
Because I am an old woman, I can say things like this without it being weird.
She lit up even more than she already was which is to say, the entire universe got a tiny bit brighter. Like a comet had entered our atmosphere.
"Thank you!" she said. "You just made my month."
"Well," I said. "It's true."
"You just made a whole lot of cool points with me," she said.
And I was glad I'd told her that.

I picked up prescriptions. My hormones, my Celexa. I shopped at Publix and Lily was on her break and walked around with me. I came home and unloaded everything and put it away and then Maurice and I took a little nap. Mr. Moon came home and we got dressed and went to the funeral home for MawMaw's viewing.

You know, I sort of changed my mind about viewings tonight. Not that I want one for myself but MawMaw just looked so beautiful in her casket, as did PawPaw when he died. And no, it's not them. They're not there but in a way, it's like a fine statue, a representation of the earthly body. It's not going to be here for long and that, too, is all right. But you can look at that person's body and you can remember their earthly presence for the last time. You can kiss their cheek, cold as it may be, tell them one final good-bye and it's all right. We are born in these bodies, we die in them too. There is something to be said about respecting the body that carried the soul, doing its hair, putting on a favorite shirt. It's an art to do all of that beautifully.
I got that tonight.

The girl working the desk at the funeral home got up out of her seat and approached me.
"Do you have a daughter named May?" she asked.
"Yes, I said.
"I knew it. As soon as you walked in and I saw you and heard you, I knew you were May's mother. And your aura! I knew it!"

I was so honored.

We went to supper. We were quietly happy, even in our sorrow which is sometimes death's gift to us. We held on to each other. We ate delicious foods and told each other how much we love each other. We talked about our trip- how lucky we are to be able to go away and play together. To leave it all behind and just love each other.

The dishwasher at the restaurant where we went is someone we have been seeing forever. He is black as ebony. He is deaf and does not speak with his vocal cords. He speaks with his eyes and his hands and his beautiful smile. I hugged him hard to me. We gave each other thumbs up. We are well. We are still here.

Now we are home. Tomorrow is the funeral and the burial. The children at the church next door are shouting in glee as they are released from the confines of worship. The cat is watching me type. Mr. Moon is coming to love her even though he denies it.

This has been my day today. This has been my evening. Here is what my glasses look like. I do not think they are fabulous in any way except that I am not having to close one eye to type and in that, they are way beyond fabulous.

That's another magnolia blossom in the picture up top. Mr. Moon brought it home with him tonight and gave it to me.
"Happy Mother's Day," he said.

There are so many connections in this post -- so many people you encountered and talked to in positive ways. I think that's what gave you such a good day. There's a lesson here somewhere. I feel like I need to stop being such an old grump! :)

I'm days behind on reading, so I hope you get to see my comment! I was touched by the connections you shared in this post. Telling the girl at the phone shop she is beautiful. Hugging the dishwasher. That is what it is all about! For me, those kinds of things make my heart swell. I am reminded of how life can be so awesome when it is awesome :)

So much going on. It does me good to give compliments to people in some way. There are so many beautiful people in this town that it is nearly impossible not to gawk at times. But I don't do that because it would be rude and would get my neck out of whack.

I love this post. I love your glasses. I love the magnolia blossom. We travelled all day Mother's Day, two moms and their daughters, and the gas station I filled up at had 2 magnolia trees. I picked a blossom and our car smelled amazing for the four hour ride. I brought it home and it still smells wonderful. Mr. Moon has great taste in flowers. I vow to live again someday soon where they grow.xo

I try very hard to answer every comment I get. This is important to me because otherwise, it's not a dialogue. Sometimes life gets busy and I can't, but I do try.
Please e-mail me for any reason whatsoever at mmerluna@aol.com