Alumni Sandstorm ~ 1/23/01
>>From: Betty Conner Sansom ('52)
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE LIVED IN THE TRI-CITIES TOO LONG WHEN:
~ You wonder why the wind is NOT blowing
~ You consider a layer of dust as "nice table decoration"
~ Dust free air is considered a health risk
~ During the winter, you're wishing it was summer
~ During the summer, you're wishing it was winter
~ You consider a telephone pole "a nice shade tree"
~ If you don't cross a bridge you haven't gone any place,
nor can you
~ A tragic news story remains head line news for over a year
~ The local news hour only takes ten minutes, five minutes
of which are sports and weather
~ You're assessed a "Storm Run Off" tax and it never storms
~ River rock is considered prime street pavement
~ Dining out at a nice place is going to a smorgasbord on
"sea food night"
~ When the car wash gives you a three month guarantee
against rain
~ Your preferred yard plants are sage brush and tumble weeds
~ Your Christmas tree is decorated sage brush or tumble weed
~ You make snow men out of tumble weeds and white spray
paint green plants and grass
~ And real trees are put on the endangered species list
~ You "know" that washing your car will actually cause it
to rain just enough to settle the dust onto your car.
~ Your kids are scared the first time they hear thunder...
ever (they are eight, or older)
~ You are twenty minutes from anywhere you need to get to,
even if you have to drive around traffic.
~ When your kids sing Christmas carols it occurs to them
to sing "I'm dreaming of a BROWN Christmas"
~ You can name five businesses that have been at a
particular address, but not the current one. (Quick..
what's Lamont's called now, or remember where Montgomery
Ward's used to be?)
~ Your kids hold their jackets up like a sail and see how
far over they can lean without falling down. (my personal
record is 50 degrees)
~ Ye Merry Greenwood Faire is a "big event."
~ Over half your friends get their news from the Internet.
~ Over half your friends have high speed Internet because
there is nothing else to do around here.
~ Over half your friends dream of telecommuting to Seattle
from here.
~ When the term "brown out" refers to blowing dust not a
shortage of electricity.
~ When you have all the water you want even though you
only get 6" of precipitation per year.
~ When your kids build forts out of tumbleweeds.
~ You run the sprinklers even when it rains because it
probably won't rain that much anyway.
~ You can remember exactly when and how much snow you've
had for the past 3 or more years.
~ For "sledding" kids go to the nearest hill during the
summer with large blocks of ice from Albertsons or Fred
Meyers.
~ If you've ever said the phrase "...but at least it's a
dry heat..."
~ If you know what "Alphabet House" means (and can
probably identify most of them on sight and by letter)
~ If you know that a "spudnut" doesn't mean "someone that
really likes potatoes