American Pie 2

American Pie 2 is American Pie with superglue. Same guys, same gals, same goofy-in-the-sack jokes. Only second time round, there's nothing original about it. Even Jim's Dad (Eugene Levy) isn't funny any more.

The director is J B Rogers, who learnt his trade with the Farrelly brothers. This means that the humour is in the pants, not outside. Watching sweet Heather (Mena Suvari) and straight Oz (Chris Klein) having phone sex is so embarrassing you have to crawl under the seat.

After a year at college, the virginal buffoons haven't learnt much. Jim (Jason Biggs) still doesn't know where to put it. Stifler (Seann William Scott) continues to make a pass at anything with breasts. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) doesn't do much at all. Oz is going steady with Heather, even though she's somewhere else, but is much too nice to cheat on her. Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) still fantasises about Stifler's mom.

They rent a beach house and party all summer.

What's a party? Getting wasted, slobbering over girls, peeing on Stifler's head - that sort of thing. Why? Can't think of anything else. What's love got to do with it? Nothing. What's sex got to do with it? Very little. Surely, this is a sex comedy? Not if the main contenders are completely useless. What's with the sticky stuff? Think masturbation. Think lubricant gel and superglue in separate tubes on the bedside table. Think Jim and a dirty video.

American Pie broke barriers when it was released. A clutch of teen flicks, such as Road Trip and Dude Where's My Car, followed, stealing its ideas. The level of humour plummeted. Suddenly rites of passage had a new meaning. The semen on the earlobe joke from There's Something About Mary became state-of-the-art.

Pie 2 wants to be up there on the ceiling. All it can do is drop its shorts. Not cool.