NOT SUITABLE FOR MOST ADULT CONTENT!
My blog is full of swearing, bad words and very tasteless humor.
Some of it is sweet and fun and glittery. be warned! My bush baby just slammed its tender bits in a door...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

These are so cute!

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make smalltalk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap andwalked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on theman's, he said, 'I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'.

* *

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.'

* *

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'llwant to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking,and swimming with me like you do now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.'

* *Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed. 'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!

* *

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandsonasked my son the question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place? he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust.'You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't know the answer.'

* *

Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told him. 'I'm going to Iraq .' 'Why?' heasked. 'Don't you know there's a war going on over there?'

* *

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS and blood diseases. One afternoon he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know that Newman was a famous movie star, explained, 'That's the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?' Blank stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on his lemonade carton." An eight-year old girl perked up and asked "Why, is he missing?"

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now as to the love I have been getting from my followers that comment, thanks!
I am having my rough times, I am pissed, I have every right to be.
if I don't get this out safely I will hurt myself.
I always do.
so this is the place that I have to vent. my choice.
it will be rough to read, it is hell to feel it.
this is not a happy shiny place any more.
read if you want but the disclaimer reads like this:
ugly and putrid, welcome to the shit that sits in my head and is killing me slowly.
it will not be fun, it might be funny. it will be raw and like an open sore that you are picking at even though you know better. this is the shit that I torture myself with, that leaves me with no hair and open wounds on my body, cause I can't stop tearing at my self. None is actively abusing me but me. there are assholes, and if you give it you will get it in spades, good or bad.
you have been warned.