Kent occasionally has these moments of "fuck this. We work hard. We deserve SOMETHING."

His "something" is that damned Brokeback Fantasy Football Draft Weekend Extravaganza--now with tiki bar! (No, seriously. The place they rented this year has a tiki bar. I am planning on hitting up Dollar Tree and sending him with a suitcase of fake grass skirts, leis, and coconut shell bras. And using the ensuing photos as blackmail). Well, he decided that it isn't fair that he blows a couple hundred bucks to go be stupid and I don't get something out of it (other than 5 days where I don't have to hear about football and can eat/drink coconut EVERYTHING without the risk of aggravating his allergies. That is a GOOD thing).

Heart. Joan Jett. Cheap Trick.

"Well, why not? We can afford it. You deserve it, and I know how much you love Joan."

He also knows I would have never spent the money myself. I'm not good at that. I told him that there was a Harley Quinn watch at Chapel Hill Comics and he said "You're averaging how much in tips now? If you want it, just buy it on payday. If it makes you happy..."

If it makes you happy...

I have a weird relationship with money. I grew up poor enough that I know you need to hoard it. Spending it scares me. I feel like I need permission. I manage to feed the two of us on about $80 a month, and get tense when I go over the grocery budget. Then I go spend $45 at Walgreens. It's weird.

So...I'm going to a concert. And, oh yeah, I WILL be buying tshirts. I may start telling my regulars. I can probably save up enough tips between now and September (the shirts will probably cost more than the tickets).

Next on my list? A coverup tattoo on my right hip. I've been wanting it for ages. Since what I want is blackwork (the album art from Blackstar), it's not nearly as expensive as I thought it would be.

It's weird to think we're comfortable. His bionic eyeballs have been paid off. My medical bills were taken care of due to the settlement. I got student loan amnesty. We don't have a car payment or mortgage. We can order in if we're too lazy without checking the account first.

It's weird, y'all.

But....concert! I've never seen Heart. And Joan Jett is one of my sheroes. <3 <3 <3

Nathan and I have a very similar dynamic. Even when I'm buying things I NEED (like underpants... or a new computer. Or the fuse to fix the air conditioner in my black car with black leather upholstery when it's 100 degrees out...) I have a hard time pushing the button and going for it. Even though we are FAR more financially comfortable than my parents ever were.

I saw Joan Jett when I was in my very early 20s at a relatively small venue. It was back in the days before getting up front required you blow a roadie or pay obscene amounts of money, and I was able to weasel down to the very very very front so I could gaze up with my shining eyes.

At various times through the concert, she'd interact with the audience and gave me lots of eye contact and smirkysexyrocker smiles, pointed at me with her strumming hand (pick still clutched between fingers) in that "yeah, you" way, and basically made me fall in love with her.

I imagine she still remembers that fondly. ;)

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I saw Cheap Trick around the same time at the very same venue, but it was not the same experience. Alas!

I grew up poor as well (my dad liked to call it "constantly broke" for whatever reason), and money is so weird... I scrimp and save and do all these things for bills and groceries, like you were mentioning, then am like "oh hey, $15 on a restaurant meal whoo!"

Then like an hour after eating at a restaurant I will feel horrible, shriveling guilt. It takes so long to get over, it's bizarre.

I bet Joan Jett will be awesome! Cheap Trick played our county fair quite some time ago, and I didn't go to the concert itself but sat on my grandparents' porch and listened, and it was real good. And Heart! Oh man!

I'm convincing myself to spend $25 on a Queensryche ticket and am way nervous about that :) Then another $35 on Sturgill Simpson, and I'm unemployed so the whole thing is breathakingly scary, but I also feel I need to relax about it... idk, it could still be the dysfunctional relationship with money rearing its head, though.

I super-duper want to; I even spent time convincing a bunch of other people to go, so I'm pretty much 100% on it but still have to buy the ticket. I think I'm going to this week, once my next unemployment check is deposited. Since I'm spending money on basically nothing but bills right now, it's probably okay to do one fun thing.

I have a weird relationship with money too. (Living with Jason's "father", he only gave me money if he could see/knew with certainty exactly where I was using it and what I was doing with it. He also stole my belongings so I left him with nothing, and didn't expect to ever get child support for him. When I actually began receiving child support for James, at first I was sincerely mind-boggled and had no idea what to actually do with what seemed like a lot of money at the time.)

I am the same way, but we lived the first fourteen years of our marriage living on tips and the hopes that the Lord smiled kindly on my tippers of the night, but working with vultures really did out a dent in our budget. I am still not used to it and am afraid I never will be. I don't take things for granted.... However, a splurge once in a while does not hurt.... It's something I need to work on.