General Question

What is the worst thing you have ever done? Do you think you can ever forgive yourself?

I mean worst in your own eyes, not someone else’s. I am asking this simply because I am curious about the whole range of human experience and how people practically interpret their personal ethical beliefs.

I drove away my best friend by telling his mom he was bulimic. It was wrong because it was none of my business. I will never forgive myself.

@Blondesjon Hm I guess the anonymity of this site is not quite enough to encourage the level of frankness I was requesting. I don’t want to seem to pressure you to answer, but I just want to point out that you could answer using a different name if you don’t want it attached to “Blondesjon”, Fluther says they allow that for this purpose.

I hacked into someone’s photobucket and deleted all of their family photographs, KNOWING the photographs weren’t saved by him anywhere else. He also hadn’t seen his family in years.
He forgave me; l I have not.

The lessons learned from past mistakes are far more powerful than the mistakes themselves. True enlightenment can only manifest through enduring suffering of our own doing, moving past it, and being grateful for the opportunity of that terrible experience.

What I did will go to the grave with me. I can never forgive myself for something so egregious, even if the persons I wronged have forgiven me or even forgotten about it. I saw a question like this before, and my answer to that one was pretty much the same.

In fifth grade, I decided to make a newsletter thing that I’d give out to the class once a week. Crossword and everything, it was hot shit, if I do say so myself.
This one dude decided he’d try to do the same thing, which SUPER pissed 10-year-old me off, so one time at recess I snuck into the classroom and deleted his from his desktop since he’d stayed logged onto his account.
He cried and went “WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT!?” over and over and everyone felt really bad for him and I just did the shifty eyes and never apologized or anything, even though everyone knew I did it.
I still think back to that sometimes when I’m stoned and it totally ruins my high.

I was on the bus ride home from school and it was yearbook time. The bus driver gave us assigned seats that year and I just sat by the window while my busmate talked and stuff. Well on this day I heard her making fun of one of my best friends and pointing at her picture in the yearbook laughing and I just sat there and didn’t say anything, like a pansy. I should have stood up for her.

I’ve lied about some pretty huge things. Lies that ruined my life at that point in time, and hurt people. I also did something that I’d have to say is one that I’m most ashamed of. Actually, there are two of thoses, but I can push the one out of my mind better than the other.
Why would I have to forgive myself, if I hurt others?

I broke up with the woman I loved. She slept with another guy, but was full of regret, and really wanted to make it work. I was to hurt, and broke it up. That was the most stupid thing I have ever done in my life.

@casheroo I think the motive behind forgiving yourself is that you believe you can still be the person you hoped you would be. If you think you have done something unforgiveable you know that you can never be that person.

@oratio I stayed with my wife after she cheated. Several times. Five years later, I finally felt like I could trust her again. A week later, I found out she was making plans to leave me for another guy. She was making these plans for eight months before I found out. She begged and pleaded for me to keep her that time as well. We are currently separated, and she told me she wants to start dating. I don’t think you did anything stupid at all.

I was manipulated into telling my best friend not to contact me anymore. My girlfriend at the time was jealous of my female friend, so she wanted to be sure there was no competition. I stupidly broke down and did it to save our relationship.

I later married the friend I had pushed aside (after I was used up by the ex-girlfriend), but I still wonder if my earlier stupidity partially led to the seemingly unrelated problems that developed later on and ended our marriage.

She is still my best friend, so that makes it easier to deal with what I did.

I think I may have hit two girls on a motorbike once. I was too blinded with anger at the time to stop, it was not that I was scared of the cops or anything like that. Luckily it was a busy street so I like to think that, even if they did get hurt, someone took them to hospital. Or that they kept their balance and never fell off that bike (we weren’t going that fast). But I never checked.

We all have done things that we regret later. You have to and you will put it in a place in your mind so you can, and do, move on. If you want to say you will never forgive yourself. The you are just your own martyr. Learn from it and get on with your life. (as we do)
That is a great question, we tend to be hardest on ourselves. Good or bad, these experiences make us who we are. I regret, I reflect, and I remember. That is about all we can do. Life it hard enough, no need to beat yourself down any more then you have to.

Not the worst, but probably the worst I am willing to answer on here. Also the worst I can currently think of because I have likely blocked some of the others.

I punched my mom in the stomach in 7th or 8th grade. We were arguing and I clenched my fists. She dared me to hit her, so I did. I felt terrible immediately, but never showed it or apologized. I’m not sure about the forgiveness angle, but I think we have both moved on from those years in order to have a better relationship now.