The Anti-Depressant Project

Friday, December 10, 2010

At least that's the story some researchers are discussing--that there are higher rates of depression in younger generations than older, and it may be a result of over-cleanliness in the environment. We are deprived of ancient bacteria that helps stop inflammation, which is higher in people with depression (even people who are not having episodes when they are studied). This speaks to an earlier post where I mentioned research showing that aspirin helps treat people with depression (perhaps due to helping inflammation).

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Two new research studies on depression have come out, one showing that people who are suicidal have low levels of cortisol in their spinal fluid, blood, and cortisol and that their brains may be more inflamed. This certainly would explain why aspirin is able to help people with depression. The second is about a research group that developed a new protein peptide that may be able to function as a highly targeted treatment for depression (read: new pill! fun!) but with less side effects.

I love reading about research like this but also know it may be a loooooong time before depressed people get any joy from these findings.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Along with everything else it's good for, new research shows that aspirin may be used to treat and prevent depression. I will certainly be busting out my bottle because I am willing to do any damn thing for this episode to lift.

Below is a list of current and past medications I have been on, most of them specifically for "my" depression. Which is a bit of a misnomer because I don't want it, I don't like thinking of it as mine. Saying "my depression" is like the part in Arrested Development when Buster refers to Lucille 2's various problems from vertigo as "our nausea." Too bad I have no one along to share in the fun! But I digress.

Hoped going off it would make my boobs smaller, skin better, weight less. No such luck to date.

Ativan

Made me exhausted but also helped me sleep and calmed me down when the Abilify was making me crazy. Took it to stop food cravings as well, under my tongue, like some sort of sacrament. Felt my junkiest when taking it.

Vicodin

Worked with Excedrin, made me sick without it. Made me feel happy when I took it with Excedrin.

Excedrin

My caffeine crutch. Took it until it actually gave me headaches.

Maxalt

Nice Mentos taste. Gave me serotonin syndrome. Didn’t really work for the headaches but helped some.

Wellbutrin

Made me sick going on and off of it. Took it as a second to Effexor but never really worked. My whole world was upside-down, nausea-wise.

Zoloft

Never helped. No bad side effects except ineffectiveness.

Prozac

Never helped. Took it for PMS at 15 and as a second to effexor. The worst for coming off side effects.

Lexapro

The best in terms of side effects but stopped working after a year.

All these cocksuckers have sexual side-effects. I have desire but no satisfaction.

Again, I would have been dead a long time ago without most of these but this is not better living through pharmaceuticals.

This blog is a blatant take-off of Gretchen Rubin's blog, The Happiness Project. She probably started her project from a point of contentment, of experiencing happiness more often than not. On this I'm obviously just speculating but she seems like she has it pretty together. I am starting my project from a point of profound depression, such that I had to take a leave of absence from school to come live with my parents so that I didn't kill myself. Thus, this project will be a chronicle of my (and others') attempt to treat my depression. I would be thrilled to eventually reach a point of even-keeledness (where the keel isn't scraping the bottom of the Marianna Trench) and experiencing contentment every once in a while. This isn't going to be a stunt project that is so popular these days where I will try something for a year and then write a book about it, because in a year I won't magically not have depression. So this is more of a lifelong project, where I try to do as much as possible to get my depression to fuck off, on a long-term basis.