It's Complicated. A blog about my experiences with polyamory, and life in general.

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Letting Go of the Wheel

Ember and I had a “serious” talk a few weeks ago (and several talks before and several after, the usual state of things with us), where we mostly cleared the air about the decisions we’ve made and the implications they have for our relationship with each other and its future. At the time it felt like we’d made some major decisions, but in retrospect, there weren’t any firm conclusions. I still can’t tell you exactly where our relationship is going, only that right now, where we’re going is not an important “us” decision right now. I know what I want, he still has a lot of thinking to do, and we’re going to let things be for now. We’re going to keep talking things over as they come up, and we’re still extremely important to each other (as is remaining in a romantic relationship; we’re not breaking up and we very much don’t want to!).

And as a result, this past weekend went wonderfully. We were more relaxed around each other than we’ve been in a while, and we were able to have a lot of fun and really enjoy each other’s company. We did have some relationship discussions on Saturday (including him admitting that maybe it’d be best if he didn’t come visit for my Match Day; we’ll see), but it was sandwiched between random, lazy banter, and at the end of the night we had a delicious, delightful dinner out at a restaurant. If he doesn’t come for my Match Day, it’ll be six weeks till I see him again (for our sixth anniversary!), but we’ve gone that long before and hopefully he’s settled into his new job enough that we can schedule more consistent time to hang out online. We’ve started watching House of Cards, which I highly recommend. :)

There’s still 30 days till I match, but in a week I can stop worrying that maybe I should be emailing people more, because after the 20th, all lists are final and it’s just a matter of waiting for the computers and committees to finish doing their thing.