Apple Special Event Liveblog

Tim Cook begins by saying that Apple sold out of iPhone 5. But we all know the truth, which is that Apple sold out the day Woz left.

10/23/2012 5:03:54 PM

When we announced the new, super-thin iPod touch, we were so excited to see the Verge say, "We rubbed the iPod Touch on ourselves until the loop button popped up."

10/23/2012 5:08:34 PM

There are now over 125 million documents stored on iCloud, and nearly 70 million of them are accessible at any given time.

10/23/2012 5:08:53 PM

We have over 28,000 messages being sent every second on iMessage, with nearly 44,000 iMessages being received over the next 4 to 6 weeks.

10/23/2012 5:09:56 PM

Apple is incredibly proud to have pioneered the TABLET CAMERA, which you can see in action in this image from our video.

10/23/2012 5:11:49 PM

Now to iBooks. In iBooks 3.0, we’re adding new themes, and support for four different weights of Marker Felt for your reading comfort, and we’ve made the pages kind of krinkly, and there’s a krinkly sound effect.

10/23/2012 5:13:01 PM

iBooks is extremely popular in grade schools, so we’re adding a new mode that automatically replaces π with 3 in order to comply with Texas schoolbook laws. Apple Maps shows the Earth as being flat, centered on the United States and wildly inaccurate, and thus is already compliant with Texas educational law.

10/23/2012 5:14:46 PM

But since normal people hate books, let's quickly move on to the Mac.

10/23/2012 5:15:16 PM

Phil Schiller kicked offstage by Tim Cook

10/23/2012 5:17:10 PM

Tim Cook brings Phil Schiller out to talk about the Mac. Then, disgusted, he immediately sends him back offstage.

"How many of you remember Magsafe 1? What if I told you that we could make Magsafe even BETTER?"

by Paul Ford10/23/2012 5:19:57 PM

"And you know what else? We've created a way to rotate our new laptops even more slowly for commercials."

by Paul Ford10/23/2012 5:26:26 PM

Our new lens.

10/23/2012 5:30:00 PM

Phil Schiller explains the extraordinary pain that confronts anyone who gazes directly into the new Facetime camera on the MacBook Pro 13" or new iMac.

10/23/2012 5:30:39 PM

We've made a remarkable new iMac, and we're excited to announce that we're bringing back the Blue Dalmatian finish.

10/23/2012 5:31:45 PM

Isn't it amazing how making something new forces you to throw out a perfectly good computer? We've been honing our work in that area.

10/23/2012 5:32:44 PM

"If you attempt to open this computer you will actually merge with the molecules inside. It's FILLED with molecules."

by Paul Ford10/23/2012 5:33:25 PM

"But don't worry. You will never open this computer."

by Paul Ford10/23/2012 5:33:41 PM

Blue Dalmatian iMac

10/23/2012 5:36:54 PM

An exclusive shot of the beautiful new Blue Dalmatian iMac.

10/23/2012 5:37:11 PM

Our new Fusion Drive integrates Flash memory with traditional hard drives, but the bad news is the fan spins up and is super loud any time you use Flash.

10/23/2012 5:38:36 PM

The new super-thin iMac ships in December. Promptly on December 26th. You're welcome.

10/23/2012 5:39:44 PM

Tim Cook did just say that the iPad is "fast and fluid", and 100 marketers' heads just exploded over at Microsoft.

10/23/2012 5:42:49 PM

"Let's face it, this is so much cheaper than teachers."

by Paul Ford10/23/2012 5:43:32 PM

Back in January, we released iBooks Author, which you might know as iDVD but for books. The big news is that iBooks has now replaced PowerPoint as the most popular platform for creating Macromedia-Shockwave-1997-level teaching materials that nobody reads.

10/23/2012 5:44:15 PM

Today we announce the newest version of iBooks Author. To the six templates built in to iBooks Author, we’ve added two more, one which comes with the name of your favorite rock band already carved into the cover, and the other looks like it’s covered in a book cover that you made out of a grocery bag.

10/23/2012 5:45:55 PM

"With this new feature, we're responding to America's overwhelming demand for math."

by Paul Ford10/23/2012 5:46:37 PM

We've delivered the superior ease of use LaTeX to the iPad.

10/23/2012 5:46:43 PM

by darth smallberries10/23/2012 5:48:08 PM

For the fourth time, Tim Cook calls Phil Schiller on stage, telling him each time he gets halfway out to go back to the wings. "Sit down, Schiller."

10/23/2012 5:48:55 PM

"You can hold this in one, incredibly giant, hand."

by Paul Ford10/23/2012 5:52:49 PM

iPad Mini - it's for almost everyone.

10/23/2012 5:55:23 PM

Apple is not a hateful company, so the new iPad Mini works for almost everyone.

10/23/2012 5:55:39 PM

iPad mini is great for reading magazines like National Geographic, Readers Digest, and any other magazine that's not as big as a normal magazine.

10/23/2012 5:56:21 PM

With iPad mini, you can use Garage Band to make slightly shorter songs than with the regular iPad. You can play Angry Bird. You can Draw WIth Friend.

10/23/2012 5:57:23 PM

We're also making ENORMOUS GLOVES to cover the giant hands you use to hold the iPad mini in one hand.

10/23/2012 6:01:46 PM

by darth smallberries10/23/2012 6:03:28 PM

We’ve updated Find My iPad to support the new iPad Mini by including a mode where it tells you if you’ve accidentally dropped it between your sofa cushions.

10/23/2012 6:04:58 PM

We took a look at what’s available on the market today in the 7” tablet market. They’re mostly Android tablets, and they’re really weak in terms of battery life. More troubling, they have a devastating impact on their users’ self esteem.

10/23/2012 6:05:14 PM

Our new iPad Mini Smart Covers give us a new take on a classic Apple theme: They’re lickable. By which we mean, they’re actually flavored.

10/23/2012 6:05:26 PM

We know lots of folks get squicked out by chewing noises, so you can turn off the moist mastication music that plays while people lick your smart cover. But it’s on by default.

One of the best features about the iPad Mini is if you like reading in bed: Now when you fall asleep holding it up, the device that hits your face weighs 9 ounces less.

10/23/2012 6:06:21 PM

In honor of Amazon’s Paperwhite display, we’re bundling 50 Shades of Gray with each new iPad.

10/23/2012 6:06:34 PM

Nobody has ever brought this kind of screen clarity, or this kind of computing power, to a form factor that fits easily on top of the water tank of your toilet.

10/23/2012 6:08:47 PM

And one more thing: We're excited to announce iTunes 11 today.

10/23/2012 6:12:38 PM

iTunes 11 with Klout sidebar.

10/23/2012 6:12:57 PM

The most exciting new feature in iTunes 11 on the desktop is that we've eliminated Ping. And replaced it with Klout.

10/23/2012 6:13:30 PM

We’ve taken the iTunes everyone knows and loves, and we’ve added the ability to read email and track your stocks.

10/23/2012 6:13:57 PM

And finally, we’re also introducing a number of Lightning adapters to cnonect your new iPad Mini or iPhone 5. Lightning to SD Card, Lightning to VGA, Lightning to EGA, Lightning to RCA jacks.

10/23/2012 6:14:26 PM

Lightning to the old ADB mouse port, Lightning to Jaz drive, Lightning to this SCSI housing that you have to manually terminate.

10/23/2012 6:14:30 PM

Lightning adapter for the Duo Dock.

10/23/2012 6:14:42 PM

Lightning Adapter for Duo Dock

10/23/2012 6:22:38 PM

Exclusive screenshot of the Lightning adapter for Duo Dock.

10/23/2012 6:23:11 PM

Eddy Cue shows of Klout for iTunes

10/23/2012 6:23:54 PM

Detailed view of the Klout for iTunes integration, as demoed by Eddy Cue.

10/23/2012 6:23:59 PM

the two new themes in iBooks Author

10/23/2012 6:24:28 PM

iBooks Author added two new exclusive themes, one which comes with the name of your favorite rock band already carved into the cover, and the other looks like it’s covered in a book cover that you made out of a grocery bag. Pictured below.

10/23/2012 6:25:06 PM

That concludes today's special event! Thanks to everyone for coming out. Be sure to share this liveblog with all of your friends!