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Dec 29, 2010 4:41:32 PM

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas, happy holiday and profitable 4th quarter!I can’t wait to run the numbers to see if my company actually made money again this year!For Christmas this year I’m most excited about getting one of those Kodak compact video cameras that downloads so easily to youtube, FB, my blog etc…I think I’m going to start a Vlog with grilling stuff.Since the hubby and I grill so gosh darn much, I think I want to document our exploits on the grill!Stay tuned to see if I can actually figure it all out and learn how to edit and post.THAT should be interesting!I want to discuss a topic that’s on my mind a lot and I know it affects many of us mom’s.MOMMY GUILT!!

I left my career of 9 years to become a stay at home mom (like my husband and I always planned I would do).Three years into living my dream of being that “ideal” stay at home mom (whatever THAT is!), I had an idea for a business, followed that dream and completely derailed mine and my husband’s expectations of the "perfect family". It is HERE that I feel my guilt radiates from. Growing up, my mother was a stay at home mom and my two younger sisters and I agree to this day that our childhood was just about PERFECT. Our home was loving and caring and unbelievably happy. Because of this, I wanted to do things exactly like the most perfect mom in the world... MINE. (Which meant being a stay at home mom.) I never planned on having any kind of light bulb moment where I would find this urge... (Compulsion really) to start my own company, but I did. Now I wrestle daily with what I can't help but feel are my "selfish" desires to be a successful entrepreneur. I hate that I feel this way and on an intellectual level, I know that these thoughts and feeling are RIDICULOUS, but I can't help but feel "mommy guilt" none the less. I have realized that my guilt stems from my preconceived notions and life experiences which tell me that the most perfect childhood comes from having a mom that devoted herself completely to her children. Well.... as happy and wonderful as my childhood was, I am learning through new life experiences that a "perfect childhood" can come in many different shapes and sizes. I do feel like our home is full of happiness, TONS OF LOVE, encouragement and all the things that make for happy, healthy, well balanced adults in training and the best part is, I'm showing them that it can be done "differently". My daughters were 1 and 3 at the time of my "deviation" so they have always grown up thinking all moms were also "entrepreneurs" or inventors. With this, I am hopefully breaking the chain of mommy guilt with them and showing them that happy childhoods don't necessarily come from 1 perfect formula. It's too late for me, but maybe I am leading by example so that the next generation of mommies won't suffer from the mommy guilt syndrome quite as much.Okay… that’s my soap box for the day… comments??

Leslie Haywood, Founder and President of Charmed Life Products, Inventor of Grill Charms™www.grillcharms.com

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Leslie Haywood

5 Comments

Jen Cannon

posted on Thursday, December 30, 2010 10:54:16 AM America/Chicago

Oh Leslie - what a great post - simple and to the point. I cannot tell you how I wrestle with this issue. I have the added complication/blessing of having had two motherhoods if you will. When my now 25 year old son was young I was divorced, working 2 or several jobs at any given time and doing the back and forth thing - it was tough. I did not have a big "career" per sey at the time my first daughter came along 18 years later, however, I had a lucrative run as an Executive Assistant for many years and for some very interesting people. Being a stay-at-home-mom is harder than any job I have ever had in Corporate America! No one comes home and says "my hell honey, those toilets sure do have a nice shine on them today - great job!"
Now, as a freelance writer and wannabe social media maven I am striving to find a good balance between "working" from home and everything else that goes into running a household where daddy is gone 3-4 days per week.
On of my resolutions this year is to focus on more balance and less guilt! What I know is that we're all doing the best we can, and that's okay :).
Happy New Year Leslie! Wishing you and yours all the best 2011 has to offer!!
XO

Carrie

posted on Thursday, December 30, 2010 3:09:29 PM America/Chicago

Leslie, I never felt I had to be a stay at home Mom in order to give my kids the perfect childhood. The things they will remember is that you were there for them when they needed you, there was happiness, love and encouragement in the home, and you were able to attend the big events in their life. As a working Mom, I must say I never missed a baseball, football or soccer game. I worked my schedule around my kids schedules. I have never heard Matt or Josh complain about growing up with me working and I always worked. Kids are flexible and resilient and I don't think there is any reason for guilt. In fact I think you are setting a great example for them by balancing your company with your home life. By working and bringing in that extra income, you are allowing for all those extra fun things that make memories for them. No need for guilt. You are doing a great job and as long as you are there for them and loving them like you do, they will grow up happy!! xoxo

Melinda Knight

posted on Monday, January 3, 2011 11:51:24 AM America/Chicago

What a wonderful article Leslie!!! It's so easy to feel guilty, but I think if our children are loved and get the attention they need they will get more out of seeing their mommy follow her dream. When you have that entrepreneurial drive in your heart you just have to follow it. It's tough to balance at times, but as long as there's a give and take we should all try to stay guilt free. I know that's easier said than done. You are wonderful role model for your children to look up to. God bless and Happy New Year!

Tammy Gentry

posted on Monday, January 3, 2011 12:38:35 PM America/Chicago

Thank you Leslie! Sounds like we had very similar childhoods - which is so great! But it also makes for tough expectations to meet! And I struggle with mommy guilt as I try to manage Penny Stones. But I too am seeing that we can be a good example to our kids by showing them how you can come up with an idea and bring it to market in America. Love that!
Will you be at the gift show in Atlanta this month? If so, I'd love to meet up! If not, Happy New Year!

Leslie Haywood

posted on Monday, January 3, 2011 12:48:46 PM America/Chicago

Thank you all for such wonderful comments! This is an issue I have been struggling with I started the company. Tammy, I will not be at the show :( So sorry I will miss you!