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When Movies Make You Want Salisbury Steak

Week before last, I made Salisbury Steak. I’d been watching Kramer v. Kramer on the DVR because I wanted to say I’ve seen Kramer v. Kramer 438 times instead of 437, and there’s a pivotal scene in the movie where Dustin Hoffman has made a Salisbury Steak TV Dinner for his seven-year-old son Billy, whose mother, Dustin’s wife, had abruptly left weeks earlier.

Billy, in a cross mood that evening, had been picking at his Salisbury Steak, calling it gross and yucky and spitting out bites here and there. Dustin, not in the mood for Billy’s tactics, reminds him that he’d eaten it just the week before and had declared it one of his favorite meals ever. Billy replies by complaining about the stuff (gravy and onions) on top of the steak (which isn’t really steak at all, but a ground beef mixture) and Dustin uses his knife to scrape it off and cut up Billy’s meat. He then orders Billy to take a bite: “It is not YUCKY, Billy!” Dustin commands. “Eat it!”

That’s when Billy puts on a cherubic face, bats his eyelashes, and changes the subject. “Did you remember to bring the chocolate chip ice cream home?” he asks his father.

Dustin answers sarcastically: “Yes, I did ‘remember to bring the chocolate chip ice cream home’ but you’re not going to have any of it until you eat your dinner and your peas and…”

Then Billy immediately gets up from his seat at the table, walks over to the freezer, retrieves the carton of ice cream, and brings it back to the table, his father all the while admonishing Billy that he’d better not, he’d better stop, and he’d better put the ice cream back.

But Billy continues unabated, keeping an eyelock on his father in order to size up just how serious he is. He lifts the lid off the carton. He sticks his spoon into the ice cream. At that point, Dustin expression changes from stern to serious to grave.

“You put that ice cream in your mouth,” Hoffman warns, “And you are in VERY, VERY, VERY big trouble. Don’t you dare go anywhere beyond that. I am not going to say it again. I am NOT going to say it…”

And then it happens. Billy shoves a huge spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

And it all goes downhill from there.

Furious, Dustin grabs Billy around the waist and carts him to his bedroom, tossing him onto his bed and telling him what a spoiled, rotten little brat he is, and that he’s had it.

As Dustin is storming out of Billy’s room, Billy cries and screams “I WANT MY MOMMY!”

And Dustin yells back, “Well, I’m all you’ve got!” and slams the door.

I’m crying as I write this, because the scenes that follow are even more heart-wrenching. Dustin, distraught, rushes to the living room and pours himself a stiff drink. He takes a shot, wincing from the pain of both the liquor hitting his throat and the realization that he’d just lost his temper with his little boy, whose mother had left without a warning. Dustin rests his head in his hand and rubs his temples, the weight of single fatherhood—and all the personal, professional, and emotional complications it had brought—on his shoulders.

Later that night, after he’s calmed down, Dustin reenters Billy’s room. Billy’s sound asleep by then, and Dustin tucks him in and straightens up his room a bit. Just as he’s tiptoeing out of the room, though, Billy wakes up and calls his dad over to his bed.

This hits Dustin like a ton of bricks. Taken aback, he realizes how much Billy must have been internalizing his mother’s departure. So he begins to explain (in a whisper, which somehow adds to the emotion of the moment) how it was his fault, not Billy’s, that Billy’s mom had left. How he hadn’t made time for her and had been wrapped up in his own things. How he didn’t know she was unhappy. How she didn’t leave because of Billy, she left because of him.

As I said, I’m crying now. And as I wrote my post for Salisbury Steak, I cried as I remembered the scene.

I don’t know if I’m writing this because of Salisbury Steak, or if I made Salisbury Steak because of this, or if there doesn’t necessarily have to be a logical reason for this post. It’s just an illustration of how much I love Kramer vs. Kramer. The film is brilliantly acted (Meryl Streep is breathtakingly good. Dustin Hoffman is perfection. Justin Henry, who plays Billy, is heartbreaking.) and portrays the pain of divorce so realistically.

But it’s also one of a million examples of why I love movies in general. They stay in your memory and hide in your heart. And scenes and dialog and moments pop up when you least expect it.

And before you know it, you’re crying about Salisbury Steak.

Next up, I’ll write about cherry desserts and wax rhapsodic about The Witches of Eastwick.

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Comments

Well now you’ve done it..I HAVE to see this movies again. It’s been way too long, thanks Ree!

Maureen

Now you have me crying, remembering being a kid when my parents divorced. I think all kids tend to think they did something to make it happen, so sad. . . I am reading your book, “the Pioneer Woman: Bleck Heels to Tractor Wheels” and I can see that your Parent’s divorce had a profound affect on you too, though you were much older when it happened. Just goes to show how damaging divorce can be at any age!

Thanks for an impactful post! Guess I will never look at Salisbury Steak the same way again! LOL!

Leanne K

Can’t even eat fresh cherries because of Witches. Dumb movie, and I’ll watch it every time!!!! Love all 3 actresses.

http://www.confessionsofadesigner.blogspot.com/ Ana (Confessions of a Designer)

I love how some movies become part of our own memories. You watch them a million times and they still make you feel so much emotion, right? =)

http://successalongtheweigh.blogspot.com/ the Mrs @ Success Along the Weigh

Cherries Jubilee for everyone! “Have another cherry!” I was OBSESSED with that movie as a kid and now I must go downstairs and rifle through the DVD case and watch it today!

(I know that’s not the point of the post but I can’t be held responsible for what my brain picks up on.)

Casie

Honestly one of the best movies ever. The elevator scene at the end. Meryle’s raw emotion and the way she cries. I love that movie. Running to the hospital and the “sleepover”. Love it.

Meme

Sniff. Sniff. WHAAA!

Jane

I also have certain movies that I’ll re-watch every so often when I need a good cry, or a good laugh, or just need to bring back old memories. Just like a favorite old song, or a good meal of comfort food. I know how exactly how you feel. Thanks for sharing!!!

Mary W

Wow, I’ve never seen this movie before. I’m adding it to my Netflix list right now!

Yogamama

It’s one of my favorite movies of all time!

http://mylittleexpatkitchen.blogspot.com/ Magda

I love Kramer vs Kramer. And I cry every single time I watch it.

I love movies for exactly the same reason you do, Ree.

Paula

There is NOTHING better than a movie that can make you feel, can make you cry. I have a short list of them, and I save them to watch when no one is home and I’ve had enough of real life and I need to just let loose a bucket of tears. Then I pull one out and watch it.

And am I the only one who, when watching a movie that I KNOW will make me cry, spends half the movie crying in preparation for the real cry at the end? I watched Stepmom the other day and cried every time Julia took a picture of the kids that I knew would end up in the gifts. I cried when the kids got to dad’s house because I knew Susan and her son were going to have that same conversation, about visiting in dreams, at the end of the movie.

And that’s why I can’t watch them with anyone else around – because they mock my premature crying. 🙂

http://cowpattysurprise.blogspot.com Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise)

The first time this Ozark Farm Chick saw this movie, it was at Tiny~Towns one and only Drive~In Movie. Your probably too stinkin’ young to remember ’em. We’d let the kiddos watch the cartoons then snuggle ’em down in the back seat go to sleep while we enjoyed a ‘night out’. Heeehehehehe!!!! :o)

Thanks for the memories!!! (sang in my best Bob Hope voice)

God bless ya’ll and have a bang~up week from the happy hills and hollers of the very nostalgic Missouri Ponderosa!!!! :o)

zoom

When I saw this movie in my 20’s my reaction was totally different from my sentiments 30 years later. When Dustin Hoffman asks Billy, “What grade are you in now?” the first time around it was amusing. Now, I realize his total disconnect with the child and family. I have much more sympathy for Meryl Streep now than then.

Carolyn

I’m embarrassed to say I’m 40 years old and have never seen Kramer vs. Kramer. I need to watch it soon.

Pam S.

Love, love, love Kramer vs Kramer. It was one of the very first movies I ever saw in a movie theater. That and The Champ. Both movies are tear jerkers…and amazing.

BigCooker

Now we are having Salisbury Steak and PLEASE something Cherry dessert. I always make Cherry Pie but your ideas are so inspiring. Inspire away, I need it…

BigCooker

Thanks for the well wishes, we love the Ozark Farm Chick posts, these Arkansas Ponderosa happy hills say the same. Have a bang`up week , too!

Pollyanna

Me too – I never make french toast without thinking of this movie.

Carol

Are you a Practical Magic fan? Great movie & music…….

Kimsue

Ree, thanks for reminding me why I love K vs. K! As for The Witches of Eastwick, there are some scenes, such as in the pool, where I find Jack to be very sexy. But don’t tell anyone, that will be our secret…

JJ

I think the little kid in this movie is JAKE the love interest in 16 Candles! Wild huh?

oh goodness.. great movie. I was tearing up reading your post then saw the comment above about Stepmom and almost truly busted out crying.. and I now want to see them both again. Dont know that I could watch them in the same week much less same day.. Another one that rips me apart is Beaches..