Did You Divorce Your In-Laws When You Divorced Your Ex?

"Blood is thicker than water," the old saying goes, but is that always true? I'm asking because I came across this article on Yahoo titled "10 Things Every Woman Should Know About Getting Divorced," and one of the items on the list didn't ring true for me at all. That would be item number 9: "You also divorce his family."

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I got lucky on this one.

I love my in-laws. They've been a second family to me for decades, and since they're almost all geographically closer than my family has been for all of that time, I've actually had more face-to-face interaction with them than with any of my family. In this age of Facebook and email and Skype, we've managed to keep touch even as they've moved a little further away.

When Peter left, that didn't change. They waited a few weeks after he emailed them all, and then a few of them reached out to me - not to take sides or to get the juicy details - but just to see if I was okay. To see if I needed anything. To let me know how very sorry they were to have been given this news.

And in return, I didn't tell them any ugly truths or trumped up theories distorted by my anger, I didn't bash him to them (and I never will), or malign his girlfriend, and my relationship with his family has remained good to this day. My in-laws are my extended family, and I cherish that. I was lucky when I married into them, and the last thing I want to do is give them the boot just because my marriage is over. And just like with my kids, I respect the fact that they all have their own relationship with him, and they shouldn't ever be made to pick sides.

Of course, it does help that we don't see each other often - our contact is primarily through Facebook - so there's no real danger of me trying to infringe on his time with any of them.

Like I said, I got lucky in having such a great group of in-laws in the first place. By keeping our interactions respectful, we've managed to keep each other, and I'm glad.

What about you? Did you lose all your in-laws when your marriage ended? Was that a sad thing - or a surprisingly happy thing?

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