The Guild s01e01 — Wake-Up Call

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0:02 So, it's uh Friday night, and... still jobless, yay. 0:07 I haven't left the house in a week. 0:09 My therapist uh, broke up with me... 0:13 oh yeah, there's a, there's a Gnome Warlock in my living room 0:16 sleeping on my couch. 0:32 Wait, so you're firing me? I mean,0:35 you're my therapist. Is that even medically legal? 0:38 How is that legal?! 0:39 I'm sorry Cyd, but you don't seem 0:41 willing to work on your addiction. 0:42 I've been establishing parameters 0:44 like we talked about... kinda. 0:47 You can't grow if you're still immersed 0:48 in an imaginary social environment. 0:50 It's not imaginary I told you it's... 0:52 -Can't get them off you, fuck! - Wait, hold on. 0:54 I'm dying, I need heals! Heal me! 0:57 Incoming! 0:59 Um, I play with real people. 1:01 Have you met them? Face to face? 1:03 I uh hear them. It's good enough for the blind. 1:06 Cyd, you need a genuine support system 1:08 at this time in your life not a.. . 1:09 Ok, Dr. Hammond! You're killing me! Like Literally! 1:11 Can I just call you back, later? 1:14 Hello? 1:16 Forget it. I'm down. 1:19 Repeat. Vork is down. 1:24 Oh my God! That was a total rim job, Codex! 1:28 I was being raped by goblins and you were standing there 1:30 with your staff up your ass! 1:32 Sorry. 1:33 Tinkerballa, Guild Rule #4. No finger pointing. 1:36 She can come to my house, and do 1:37 whatever she wants with her finger. 1:38 Bladezz! Guild rule RULE #12! 1:40 Ooh. Daddy guild leader so angry. 1:44 You guys ever get the feeling we play this game too much? 1:46 Yeah, so then I web surf. 1:48 Look, some chick in China squirted out an 18 pound baby. 1:52 - Check the link. - Damn! 1:54 Clara's back! Sorry for AFKing,1:57 my stupid nanny left without feeding Bellamy again! 2:01 Bell, Gaby tomorrow Mommy's teaching you to use microwave! 2:06 - So, did Zaboo show up yet? - No. 2:09 And I'm docking him attendance points as we speak. 2:13 Let this be a lesson. 2:14 Weird! Zaboo never misses a Guild run! 2:16 Yeah. Even when his Uncle died 2:18 he found WiFi at the funeral home. 2:20 He didn't say anything about taking time off, did he? 2:24 Oh my God, you guys, Zaboo hasn't been on in 39 hours! 2:30 What the heck? 2:36 That's like two days, right? Nursing makes me stupid! 2:39 You're nursing right now? 2:41 - That's frikkin' hot. - I know, right? 2:44 Is anyone else getting their nips sucked on? 2:45 Bladezz! 2:48 I'll be right back. 2:52 Hi! Hey! Hi! Cyd Sherman? 2:54 - These are for you. - Oh, ok. 2:59 Yeah I made them. I spray painted them myself. 3:01 - Craft'd! - Thanks! 3:03 - They're... they're beautiful. - Well thank you. 3:06 You're beautiful. That's why I did it. 3:11 You have a nice forehead. 3:13 - I'm sorry, do I know you? - Of course you know me. 3:17 Remember? I was gored by a Wyvern last week 3:19 and you totally resurrected me? 3:20 And then I bought a blue flower for you 3:23 from the gardens of Bleaklands 3:24 and you know it was totally worth the money 3:25 money but it was a lot but it was worth it. 3:28 Zaboo?! 3:29 Yeah! Yes! Zaboo! Right,3:31 I'm at your doorstep! Doorstep'd! 3:34 Where should I put this stuff? 3:36 God, I haven't logged on in like 21 hours. 3:38 Doorstepp'd?