A bunch of inane cynical rants on gaming and other entertainment by a stereotypical British person, who is so self conscious he has to hide under a pseudonymn called John Smith (or shortened to Jonith.) Also has a fondness for tea.

Welcome all

Hello all and welcome to my blog (this is one of the nicest things you will ever here me say), in which i will whine and be cynical about different things until you'll either want to put a bullet through your head or drown yourself in your own piss.

I am now Jooseman, the Artist formerly known as Jonith, and I have stopped using the name Jonith regularly (however do still have many accoun named Jonith, so go by both) as it got confusing, So call me Jooseman or Joose or whatever. Call me TwatBucket if it pleases you.

Our Youtube ChannelRants up on this blog on Friday if I've done one, just too add a little bit of schedule here.

Friday, 14 May 2010

Opinionated D&@ks

God I hate people reviewers, who the f@&k do they think they are the fat basteds, sitting at home eyes glued to the TV, occasionally glaring at their shatty laptop to write down the thoughts on whatever the f&@k they were watching like it is a matter of life and death (which wouldn’t matter for them as they can all die for all I care.) Using their c&@tish hands and their c&@tish brains. The c&@ts.

To be honest though I hate anybody with opinions, why the hell do ordinary people need opinions, it’s not like there politicians or protest groups (actually I hate them as well, who do they think they are blocking traffic and such things just to get us to believe in what they do. I have an idea to stop protesters however, whenever a protest is going on with their crappy little signs we have a lone sniper, waiting on the rooftops and suddenly BAM a dead protester, the rest of them run scared and confused, so at that moment we send in the police, not the ordinary police however but robot police (or Daleks if you can get the rights, that would be so much cooler and everyone would love the Daleks, they would be really chummy when nothing his happening and will happily pose for photos, but as soon as a protest starts happening, they turn into vicious killing machines, exterminating people left, right and centre, think of how cool that would look on the front page u newspapers. Actually I would also ban them-except the guardian-but that can be saved for another time) so as I was saying we would get robot police to march into the protesters with shot guns, and body parts would fly everywhere and It would be kind of funny to see, In a horrific, depressing sort of way, if you were a sociopath, or a serial killer.)

Anyway if you haven’t got the point yet its f&@k off you little opinion s&@ting machines, you should all shut up, and if you don’t want to do that then we will force you to shut up, probably with storm troopers, but even then you will probably have opinions on that, spurting self-important proclamation after self-important proclamation out of your bloody big self-important gob.

Never has there been more chances in history to give your opinions, you can print it in newspapers, text and phone into the news channels, give it on them shatty chat shows, shout it on the radio, write it on your computers or just say it in real life, take your pick, because this next thing applies to all of you, we need to kill everyone with opinions, and here is how. We need to replay every opinion which has ever come out of the gobby little mouth, into their ears at deafeningly high volumes, through headphones which cannot be removed until their head finally blows up and we could televise this, asking viewers for their opinions to the carnage their seeing, before tracing their phone calls and doing the same thing to them, until eventually the Earth has only one person left on it, me. Sitting back in my reclining armchair laughing about what I am seeing. This is pretty much my answer for everything.

Anyway you may be thinking now that this thing isn’t going anywhere, but it is because all this leads onto opinions about you tube videos, for example s&@ty Raywilliamjohnson (who coincidently will be one of the first to die) makes regular videos expressing his opinions on internet clips. I hate him and I hate everyone who copies off him.Which is where one of the stars (well I say stars I mean crap factories) of the website your reading this on comes in. He had made a video called =p, which is an exact copy of Ray’s =3 except with shatter sound and him reviewing mainly his own video clips as if he wants others who don’t know him have no f@&king idea what he's on about. Takes one episode, it’s called one ball and is about this guy who supposedly lost his ball, however the whole bloody episode doesn't mention the fact about his one ball until the end, were he says if you have any plastic balls, please donate them. I bet the viewers at home were like “WHAT THE F&@K, why is it called one ball and why do we have to donate a plastic one.”

Anyway that is all from me now as I am bored, so go away and remember DON’T GIVE OPINIONS.

-In Fairness to =p Paedo dog was funny but it was already used on =3 so doesn't count.