Writers Block. The ailment which afflicts every writer from time to time. The brain freezes up and the paper (or screen) becomes a featureless wasteland with nothing to tempt you into it. Even a passing cloud is enough to distract you from creating something meaningful.2000 words a day? I've not written anything worth a damn since June, and I have to get the new book out this year.I've tried all the standard remedies. I went for several long walks—and caught a cold.I read stimulating literature to encourage the creative juices. I nodded off.I tried a little meditation but I ricked my knee.Phone a friend? I did. She had just lost her dad and we both ended up bawling our eyes out.Start at the middle? What middle?And what about the more transcendental treatments? Taking mescalin? I want to unblock my mind, not expand it.Taking cannabis? I'm admitting nothing, and anyway it was so long ago that I can't recall, but even if I did partake of a spliff or two when I was younger I wouldn't remember now whether I had to smoke it or place it under my tongue.So there we are then. Devoid of ideas. Maybe I should give up writing and become a nude model or something. I've done it before you know, it was really interesting. There was this one time that. . . Hang on! That's it! Tell them those experiences. Of course! Why didn't I think of that? Thank you so much for suggesting it. Now. Where's that laptop?