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3.01.2013

March Madness: The Prequel

I must be crazy.No, seriously, I have to be crazy.Today, whilst babysitting, I checked Twitter (for those of you I babysit for... pretend you didn't just read that).I saw a tweet regarding "March Madness Fitness Health Food blah blah blah" - the exact wording escapes me.The point is this: I have decided to design my very own, month-long, diet-and-fitness-oriented, insane March Madness experiment.Commence guinea-pig mode... NOW.So, at one in the morning on this, the first day of March, I am crafting a month's worth of dietary and fitness guidelines. I am going to lay them out here as best I can, and I urge you to chime in with helpful recommendations and/or warnings as you so please! Let the games begin!

The Food Part:

March 1-3: Dr. Oz's 3-Day Detox Cleanse... Because what better way to start a month of grueling dietary upheaval than by completely liquidizing my diet? For real, though - after hours of "3-day cleanse" research, I chose this one for three reasons: 1) It costs only $16 a day, which I can actually afford. 2) It doesn't require a big, loud, messy juicer (which is all I have) - just a blender. And, 3) It looks the least like something that will make me shrivel up into a raisin-like version of myself.

March 4-9 (a.k.a. Week One): Sugar-Free Me... No processed sugar or artificial sweeteners! And yes, this includes alcohol sugars. Those suckers will get you! And by you, I mean me. And by me, I mean someone who is obviously of the legal drinking age.

Replacements: honey, Stevia, agave nectar.

March 10-16 (a.k.a. Week Two): Gluten-Free Me... No wheat products, ladies and gents! This means bread, cereal, and the occasional stalk of wheat I chew on. I am from Kansas, after all.

Replacements: carbs will come from good old-fashioned fruits and vegetables!

March 17-23 (a.k.a. Week Three): Dairy-Free Me... This one won't be too difficult, considering the fact that I'm mildly lactose intolerant. This week it'll be time to cut out any and every milk product, including that creamy, delicious, protein-rich Greek yogurt which I have grown to love. Don't worry, though... absence will make the heart grow fonder.

March 24-30 (a.k.a. Week Four, a.k.a. IS THIS OVER YET?): Meat-Free Me... And for the grand finale, I will be taking a hiatus from all meats! This may surprise some of you who think I'm still a vegetarian. Well the joke's on you, because I gave up on that dream the moment I tasted my mom's ground turkey chili (What's that I hear? You begging for a recipe?).

Replacements: tofu, seitan, tempeh, beans, nuts.

March 31 (a.k.a. The Final Stretch): Three Words... Treat. Yo. Self. I'm eating whatever I want, and there's nothing you can do about it.

The Fitness Part:

Disclaimer: I want this month-long challenge to be more diet- than exercise-focused, so this section is going to be very general.

March 1-3 (Detox): No exercise. Great start, right? It's important to rest if you're doing any type of cleanse or detox - your body isn't used to the decrease in calorie intake and there's danger of exhaustion or dehydration. If you feel you absolutely MUST exercise, light yoga or Pilates would be ideal.

Sundays: Rest. God rested on Sunday, right? I could take a page out of his book (a.k.a. THE BIBLE).

The Rest of the Time: Exercise 4-5 times per week, as dietary change and schedule allows. Truth be told, I'll probably keep doing what I'm doing, which is a solid mixture of cardio, yoga, Pilates, and zumba. Maybe throw some more weight training in there?

So, here's the deal.

I'm not looking for some crazy, life-changing, lose-5-pounds-a-day regimen. It's not possible, and if it is, it's not sustainable.

I'm just looking to shake things up a little bit, and to remind myself what self-control feels like.

Why does self-control matter? Check out this video about delaying gratification and how it predicts success levels.

And that's pretty much where I'm at!

If you're interested in joining me, let me know - I'd be more than happy to have an accountability partner or two (or fifty).

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Meet the Writer

First and foremost, I am a normal old (well, young, really) human being. Beyond that, I'm a student (of the online variety), teacher (of the yoga/Pilates variety), dancer (of the "spastic" variety), singer (of the Disney Princess variety), writer (of the blog variety), and artist (of the amateur variety). I find joy in spending time with people, and peace in being alone. Join me as I use myself as a human guinea pig in my slightly obsessive quest for mental, emotional, and physical health. Here we go!