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Bush's Court Harshes Mellow of Really Sick Dudes

The United States Supreme Court, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of BushCheneyburton Inc, has declared open season on the chronically ill, ruling unanimously to deny America's teeming masses of sick dudes access to life-preserving ganja.

The horrible news had a devastating effect on the entire staff of Seattle Hemp Products. Helpless, I watched from my cubicle as a tsunami of suffering swept through the office, the icy hand of death gripping my friends and co-workers one by one. After years of 20/20 vision, Earl in Accounting suffered a relapse of glaucoma and had to be helped out to his car. Janice in Human Relations, severely crippled ever since a cast iron bong fell on her foot back in college, was able to make thirteen trips to the snack machines a day with the help of sweet Mary Jane. By this afternoon, she was back in a wheelchair, all because Bush won't allow her just one little toot of the only medicine that will cure her.

As an American with a disability, I also took the news pretty hard. When I became disoriented by a strobe light and fell off my beanbag chair, severely injuring my back, I searched high and low for a doctor who would prescribe the incredibly large amounts of medicinal marijuana needed to ease my unbearable pain. I finally found him in Dr. Harry Garcia, the World's Grooviest Doctor. Before Dr. Harry, I didn't have the strength to pass a cast iron bong around my UC Berkeley dorm room without dropping it. A quick trip to Dr. Harry's Roadside VW Van of Healing and I was back to my daily workout regimen. That's all gone now. Bowing to the orders of his Big Pharmaceutical Buddies, Bush has cruelly yanked the macrame hemp rug of hope out from under all those who suffer from chronic illness. My spine is beginning to twitch already.

But we'll fight on. Just as Rosa Parks defied an unjust law and inspired John F. Kennedy to free the slaves, we will fire up our orthopedic hookas and send a clear message to Bush and his big pharmaceutical buddies that...

Dude, You need to take one of Ward Churchill's classes. I took a correspondence course on "Hegemonious Eichmans and the Little Eichmans they Hegemoniously Eichmanize" from him and became not only Latino, but a Latin American Indian. Not only does my new-found ancestral heritage allow me to shoot whales with a .50 caliber as my forefathers did, but I can run a casino out of my parents' garage, and I'm allowed to fire up the old peacepipe for ceremonial rituals.

And I took the class pass/fail. Twice.

I'm going to go fire up Puff the Magic Dragon right now. By Goddess, I'm going to send a clear smoke signal message to remind Washington that I have a Second Amendment right to freedom of non-Christian religion!

I need a little spirit cleansing right now. Where were those Twinkies and corn chips? Dude, my hands are so cool when I type...

Well of course the Hali-Bush-Cheney-Rove-Rums-Rice Reichs Supremes didn't once STOP! In The Name of Love and think it o-o-over--- for the children! There wasn't a better way to provide them with 2 servings of their MDR veggies than in those special Brownies!

This is exactly why I just go with the shrooms. Bu$hitler and his kkkompassionate kkkonservative buddies will never find them. His kkkriminal kkkabinate like kkkondoskkkeza and kkkheney will be all like "Where is it you stinking terrorist" but I won't be able to tell them because I told the pink fox to hide it, and he promised he wouldn't tell any kkkonservative where it is. So take that you kkkristian kkkompassionate kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Augh kkkkkkkmykkkkkkkkkk k kkkkkkkkkbuttonkkkkkkkgotkkkkkkstuckkkkkkkkkkkdamnkkkkyoukkkkkbkkkukkkskkkkhkkkkkkkkkkk

Did you notice how the NeoKKKon/Illuminati/MLB conspiracy tried to hide their fingerprints by having Thomas, Rehnquist, and O'KKKonnor vote against the ruling? They can't fool us, though; plus, they still haven't outlawed my cough syrup, so I can stilalal adkah a htahgeria whenever I want!

But like, wow man. I thought harshmellows, carob and grams of crack..err.. over an open fire made some totally groovy S'mores? Great stuff when ya got the munchies and sh*t, as my good friend Polish Potsherd would rap.

So typical of the Bu$Hitler/Cheneyburton kkkabal. See, it is a dictatorship now with the right-wingnut Republikkkans kkkontrolling all three branches of government. Now the kkkonservative kkkourt is going to force these back-to-nature progressyves to support Big Pharmaceuticals by buying drugs which merely simulate the the relief one gets from tokin' on a good ol' reefer. Next thing you know they'll be putting potsmokers in gulags and urinating on their maryjane.

Che, Dude! Not only that, you can have the Medicinal Tobacco concession and run that without the added burden of paying taxes back to the man. That is to atone for all the pain and sh*t that the man has imposed on Latino Indian midgets through centuries of oppression. It started when they burned the Kama Sutra
because of all the dirty pics in it...of heteronormed men and womyn getting it on.

They didn't like the exclusion of animals, transgendered and NAMBLA.

With the Professym in charge, he will change all that. I hear he is up for team teaching with Ward, or at least passing the credyts around.

What happened..WW.W.W.WW.WW.What happened? I think my plants have been artificially indiscriminated.They seem to talk to me about being deported back to Mexico, where they originated.I keep telling them that just because Pres. Bushitler and the Republikkkkan party hates everybody...they love MEXICANS.Of course my plants believe me and,ask for the black(er)colored(er)the warm light to be turned up.

Great news! The Tokeahookah tribe just appointed me deputy grand chief medicine man and assistant croupier. I can address all your nontraditional/holistic pharmaceutical needs and deal blackjack on Thursday nights.

The glaucoma treatment slows down the pace of game playing, and sometimes we need to stop and try to remember what the object of the game is, but we're making a killing on appetizers.

"Bush has cruelly yanked the macrame hemp rug of hope out from under all those who suffer from chronic illness."

Liberal Larry, with respect to your reference to a hemp rug, can't we truthfully say Shrubya is doing a rope-a-dope on the American people? Personally I think this is an impeachable offense.

And KKKarl Rove has to be behind this Supreme Court decision, particularly since KKKlarence Thomas actually voted against the decision. Clearly another cynical attempt by KKKlarence to burnish his image trying to appear more progressyve.

This is just another transparent attempt by the Twig to rob People of Color of their birthright.

Professor Churchill taught that the Anasazi were peaceful, agrarian-type dudes and all, before the White Man brought his War Machines to totally rape and burn and pillage and sh*t.

And don't be distracted by the fact that the Anasazi disappeared long before Columbus ever landed in Amerikkka - that's what They *want* you to think - that it wasn't Their fault. The blood of the Brown Man won't wash off so easily. When the Native Americans join with La Raza in a great Indian-Latino uprising to retake Azatlan, the Hemp fields will once again stretch from sea to shining sea and the ca-ching of the casino will once again be heard throughout the land.

Fortunately I am happily in exile in an undisclosed location where I can still access my medical marijuana legally and hassle free I wouldn't want to have to try to survive under the Bu$Hitler-HALLIBURTON-Scalia Junta--speaking of HALLIBURTON, is it any wonder that medical marijuana, which we can grow ourselves without paying any KKKorporate profit marKKKups, is being banned when at the same time major pharmecutical companies, many of which have key business ties to HALLIBURTON, are always pushing more and more products that have harder effects and greater health risks than pot? I mean, come on, viagra? that stuff will make you go blind while marijuana keeps my glaucoma from getting worse. Blindness, or sight? I report, you decide. Of course, people like Chimpy McDumbya WANT us to be blind, blind to the injustices of Abu Ghraib and Gitmo! And what about that John Ass-Cross, who is still pulling the strings at Justice (you think President Cheney would actually entrust that department to a Mexican???) who would just as soon put out your eyes as let you see, oh, breasts on a freeping STATUE!!! So, yep, it all comes together now... Bush, Cheney, Halliburton, Viagra, Medical Marijuana... the only thing missing is the Cheetos. Mmmm.... Cheetos...

I'm totally bummed that John Kerry, the Vietnam veteran, got a bunch of Ds at Yale and was actually one point stupider than that idiot BushChimpy.

But maybe this is another one of those KKKarl Rove conspiracies where he changed the progressyve Kerry's grades in his military record and has threatened to have the jackkkbooted military schlubs smart-bomb all the Heinz™ catsup factories if Kerry tries to set the record straight about those lying grades!

See, see, there goes this Bush/Cheney/Haliburton kkkabal again, threatening to do economic harm to another innocent senior citizen like John Kerry (an heroic Vietnam Veteran btw) by threatening to destroy his $100 million dollar nest egg...that is if he didn't pre-nup it away.

Did I mention that John Kerry was a Vietnam veteran who admitted to committing war crimes and then spoke out against the Vietnam War? Took a lot of brains to do that!

Bubblehead,
Good job outting the sellouts that be CNN!! Obviously they've fallen under the controls of one KKKarl Rove and the rest of "The Reich"!! Now they're (the neoCoNewsNazis) LYING about President Kerry and the Shrubdanista making the same grades at Y'all??? I guess they didn't get the memo from the Supremes about their mellow being harshed. They evidently mis read something about "smelling hash(ish)".! It's the 2nd Anti-Progressive story I've read from those sellouts in just a few days!! The other being the one about pro-baby killer/Amerikkkan troops. They (neoCoNewsNazis)
lied about the PentaGoons [Rove controlled] "investigation" finding 5 cases of Koran Rap mishandling by US troops, and 15 cases being blamed on our fine Muslin friends who are falsely imprisoned at Gizmo! The AmeriKKKans have been harshing the muslim mellow so maniacally, they won't even give those precious, oppressed detainees toilet paper!! As is evidenced as of late, they've obviously been forced to supply their own!

The explanation is obvious. The Shrub is just plain dumb - that's why he got crappy grades. But Kerry was smart - he was prevented from studying by the oppressive atmosphere of his fellow neocon students.

Anyone with half a brain can see how Kerry's mood was majorly harshed by the thuglike antics of the Shrub and his knuckle-dragging, frat-boy, jock friends. How can you expect that sensitive, dear boy to study in the company of such Neandrathals?

Tragic, really. That was just a precursor to the Hate Speech of today - that's why speech codes are so important. Words wound.