5 Minutes for Books — Just Tell Me What to Say

Thanks to Shannon for hosting the Bloggy Giveaway carnival. To find many other giveaways, click on over.

Betsy Brown Braun has written a wonderful book aimed at parents of 2 to 6 year olds (and beneficial to parents of older school children as well). Just Tell Me What to Say offers “sensible tips and scripts for perplexed parents.” I would offer humorous to the mix as well, but otherwise that subtitle sums it up quite well.

The first two chapters address general communication principles, and discipline do’s and don’ts. These chapters in particular are especially applicable to children older than six as well as the targeted age group. Several of her tips were arrows aimed right at me pointing out communication mistakes that I regularly make:

demanding eye contact (which requires so much effort for some kids that your message is actually lost)

spelling or talking about your child in front of them as if they aren’t there (which shows disrespect)

ignoring or tuning out (as much as that preschool flow of words requires of me, I need to take advantage of the communication, because unanswered questions eventually become unasked questions)

Other sections are devoted to sibling rivalry, tantrums (how to handle them and why they are a normal stage of development), food issues and nutrition, and social graces. The last few chapters offer help talking about difficult topics, such as the birds and the bees, a serious illness in the family, death, and natural disasters and war.

In each chapter, Braun first explains her take on the issue at hand (which is gleaned from thirty-seven years in practice as a child development specialist and raising her own triplets to adulthood). Then she offers bulleted lists in a “tips and scripts” section addressing the issue. I love the scripts! For example, if you have trouble standing firm on discipline (as I admit that I do) and not giving in to your child’s diversionary tactics, it’s much easier if you have an answer ready to go:

I have made my decision, and I am not going to change my mind.

You choose your behavior, you choose your consequence.

I am done talking about this.

If you’ve ever wondered what to say or what to do while dealing with the normal development of a preschooler, you will find this book helpful and encouraging. To find out more about the author or the book, visit her website, JustTellMeWhattoSay.com.

One reader who leaves a comment will win a copy of Just Tell Me What to Say (that can ship to the U.S. or Canada). Be sure to check back next week to see if you are a winner so that you can be on the lookout for an email from me with the book title in the subject line.

These lucky readers have won Trail of Crumbs, the book we featured last week. You should have an email in your inbox (or your spam filter) to which you can respond with your name and address.

About Jennifer Donovan

Jennifer Donovan has been a part of the 5 Minutes for Mom team since 2007. She writes product reviews, covers events, and manages the 5 Minutes for Books weekly column and website. She lives in Houston and blogs at Snapshot about life with her family.

I have a toddler, but I know I’ll need all the help I can get when she hits preschool age. I’d love to win this goodie! I love to read books on parenting–the only experience I have so far is my one year of mothering, and that’s not much!

Our son has 3 children – boy 6 from first marriage, and 2 girls from present marriage. All parties on great terms, thankfully. But, when daughter-in-law 2 has all 3 kids all weekend, it is sometimes “bedlam” to say the least. She tries so hard to be equal in her discipline, and doesn’t want to “rock any boats”. Some fresh ideas would be helpful.

I think most any mom would benefit from this book….but I sure hope it is me. I need a few special ‘go to ‘ phrases like the ones above…my 4 year old is a lawyer in training…I need all the help I can get.

This would come handy! My two year old is an incrediable commicatior, and many times I forget he’s only 2…The first point you brought up, demanding eye contact when it is probably too much effort for them, really sold me!

Sounds like something that would be really helpful around my house with my daughter. She chats up a storm at times and it’s really hard to stay on target. She also has a really hard time with eye contact. 🙂

Will the books tell me how to deal with my 6 year old’s tendency to launch in 30 minute monologues about random things while I’m trying to read, watch something, or talk on the phone or stop my 11 month old’s loud, ear-piercing shrieks when he doesn’t get his way? LOL

This looks like a very interesting book that I could use ideas from. I have a creative five year old who manages to finagle her way around a lot of things I say. Some days, giving her directions is like writing a how-to manual. 🙂

Thanks for offering this great giveaway and making me aware of this book. If I don’t win this copy I may have to look into buying this book on my own, with one year old twins we are rapidly approaching all this issues. Thanks for the heads up.

I could definitely use this! I especially am interested in the NOT demanding eye contact…we’ve always required our kids to look at us when we’re talking, so I”m interested what they have to say about it.