Brad Maddox impersonates Vickie's "excuse me" before walking into the arena. He gets into the ring, takes his shirt off, then issues an open challenge to anyone in the back. Mason Ryan emerges with long hair, looking less like Batista.

* Ted Dibiase pinned Curt Hawkins with a SUNSET FLIP off the middle rope. After the match, The Shield entered the ring and powerbombed both men.

* Randy Orton, Daniel Bryan and the Miz defeated the Shield via disqualification after The Shield used a chair. There was absolutely no animosity between Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan

Intermission

* Bray Wyatt (accompanied by the Wyatt Family) pinned Zack Ryder. For his entrance, Wyatt's vignette played, then the set went black as we heard Wyatt ask, "Hey Lakeland, you wanna see something scary?" The three then emerged with Erick Rowan wearing the goat mask.

Ryback appeared on the video screen. It was clearly a promo that was shot in some other arena locker room, because the Lakeland backstage area couldn't look that nice. Ryback insulted grown men in the audience for asking for his autograph and picture claiming it was for their children, but Ryback isn't fooled. He then challenged John Cena to a tables match for the WWE Title.

Rhodes Scholars begged the indulgence of the audience. Once inside the ring, Damien Sandow asked the sound guy to "sound the trumpets!" (which they did) as he introduced the "Guru of Grooming" Cody Rhodes. Rhodes then asked for a drum roll as he introduced our "Intellectual Savior of the Unwashed Masses" Damien Sandow. Enter Tons of Funk.

* Tons of Funk defeated Rhodes Scholars

* WWE Title Tables Match: John Cena vs RybackCould Monday Night Raw viewers see video of a title change from this night, similar to the night the Mountie beat Bret Hart for the Intercontinental title in Springfield Massachusetts 1992? NOPE! Of course not.

Twice as Cena laid prone on the table, Ryback threw the steel steps at him but missed, breaking the tables after Cena moved. I would expect to see that spot at Payback. Ryback tried to "shell shock" Cena through a table, but Cena escaped and "F-U'd" Ryback through the table for the win. Cena left the arena with no special post-show activity.

Justin Roberts thanked everyone for coming. Fandango's song played as everyone left, but there was NO FANDANGO! BUMMER.

TieGuy13 contributed to this article. Follow Raj Giri on Twitter at @RajGiri_303. Got a news tip or correction? Send it to us by clicking here.