When to report? When you are aware of an emergency or abuse, do you report it?

One evening around 11 p.m., I heard angry shouts coming from my neighbour’s house, with loud thumps and, eventually, terrified shrieks. This was in a rural area in another country, and the house was about a half-kilometre away, behind some trees. I could not make out the words being shouted, but the screams left no doubt that someone was in dire straits. I called the police, and gave them the location of Mr. and Mrs. X’s house.

For the next 10 or 15 minutes I waited, listening to the shouts and shrieks continuing. I called the police a second time and was told they were on their way. My neighbourhood was on the outskirts of town — no wonder it took the police a while to reach. Soon, I saw the lights of the police car in the neighbour’s drive. The shouts and shrieks stopped. By now, it was after midnight. I could turn in.

A few days later, Mrs. X came by to thank me. Her husband had become mentally ill and attacked her. She had locked herself in her bathroom, and the police came before he was able to knock down the door. Mr. X was found too mentally ill to stand trial, and was confined to a mental hospital. Mrs. X could now live out her life, quietly.

A few years later, I learned from two friends after worship service that another church member I knew was in the hospital. Her grandson had knocked on her door. When she opened it, he hit her over the head with a log of wood, knocking her to the floor. She was in the hospital now with a concussion and possible skull fracture. I heard from my friends that they had not reported the attack because the youth’s mother did not want him reported.

Thinking this over, at home, I could not approve of this silence. I called to report this elder abuse. I had to call three or four times to reach the right authority — one police officer said “not in their jurisdiction.” Another gave me a number at the other end of the province. Finally, I reached the right person to investigate, and told her the story, giving the name and place of the incident.

It took her awhile to find the victim whose home was back in the woods, behind the youth’s home. But by talking with friends of the grandmother, she was located. The youth was arrested and brought to justice. The grandmother later thanked me. Yet it took a person who heard the story secondhand to get a report to the police.

Direct victims may hesitate to report — they may lay themselves open to vengeance and more harm. But when family members, friends and neighbours know of violence, they have a moral obligation to report it. Yes, it is hard to report — you get brushed off by telephone contacts, you may have to ask to speak to a supervisor, or make repeated calls. But persistence is important.

If you see violence but are torn between protecting the perpetrator and helping the victim, remember that peoples’ future behaviour is most likely to be similar or worse than their past behaviour. When you report violence, you also protect the perpetrator from being in worse trouble — saving him from perhaps being a murderer later on, by reporting his assault now.

Reporting is also needed for self-harm or other emergency situations. One day, a student of mine phoned me and said, “I have a gun to my head, and I’m going to pull the trigger.” Then he immediately hung up. What to do? I knew this student was a young combat war veteran who was suffering what would now be called PTSD. He had not completed his term paper or taken his final exam, although I had given him the option of taking a make-up. He failed my course as he had not completed the work. He had told me he had ordered so many guns through the mail that the post office would no longer deliver them.

I knew the name of his psychiatrist and I knew how to reach his father. I called each of them right away. The father left work to go home to look after his son; the psychiatrist said he would increase the young man’s medication. This was not a time to be an inactive bystander. If I had not reported this, I would have been complicit in his illness and possible death. The young man did not pull the trigger. I believe his threat was a cry for help. I hope my reporting helped him get the assistance he needed.

Don’t be an inactive bystander. Perhaps it may take many neighbourly reports to get the authorities off their duffs. The police forces seem better trained to respond to violence after it is committed, than they do to preventing violence. But threats, harassment, bullying and vandalism are all acts that can evolve into actual bodily harm and even death. So if the lesser acts of harm can be stopped and help given, perhaps the most serious crimes can be prevented.

Maida Follini lives in Halifax.

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1 being least likely, and 10 being most likely

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