Sunday, 23 July 2017

Being Quiet Isn't a Bad Thing

The only negative thing my teachers ever had to say about me at parents' evenings was 'she's very quiet', to which my dad would always reply 'well that's not a bad thing is it?' My dad may not think it's a bad thing, but unfortunately most people do. As a quiet person that makes things difficult. I'm quiet because I'm shy and not all that confident so for it to be the general opinion that being quiet is a bad thing just makes me less confident, shier and, you guessed it, even quieter. Vicious circle eh? A few weeks ago Rachel put this feeling into words much better than I ever could so pop over to her post, but I thought I'd try and stick up for all us quiet gals and list the reasons why I think being quiet isn't a bad thing (and just FYI, being loud isn't a bad thing either).

We make the best listeners | Just because we're not saying anything doesn't mean we're not listening. In fact, we're really listening. If you ever want someone to rant to we're your gals because we'll let you talk it out and only give you advice once we've considered everything you've said (and only if you want it.) I actually secretly love being the person that people rant to, it makes me feel useful.

We can keep secrets | Not being the biggest talkers (and often being fairly reserved souls) means that we're unlikely to shout about our own secrets, never mind yours. This may be a sweeping generalisation as I'm sure not every quiet girl is a good secret keeper, but well, I am haha.

When we speak, people listen | This is my favourite thing about being quiet and it's something I always mention in job interviews when asked about a negative quality. People aren't used to us talking so when we do speak up, people listen and automatically think that whatever we have to say must be important (until they realise that I mostly talk drivel...)

Just because we're quiet doesn't mean we're boring | In fact I kind of feel bad for loud people because I feel like they have a reputation for being fun that they must feel they have to keep up, whereas a lot of people expect quiet to equal boring so if you're even a little bit fun or interesting you disprove that.

We can come across as mysterious | I don't know if this is just me being weird or if other quiet people feel like this too - let me know? - but sometimes I like to think that because I'm quiet it means that I come across as mysterious. Because I don't put myself out there I like to think that people wonder what I'm really like (the answer is just quiet and not mysterious at all but yanno, it's nice to feel powerful).

Are you quiet or loud? What do you think are the good things about either?

Just a side note - I'm not sure why I thought photos of my back related in any way to me being quiet, but lets roll with it shall we?

I'm somewhere in between - I am painfully shy when I first meet people and tend to be a bit uncomfortable in large groups. A lot of people don't bother to take the time to get to know me and think I'm stuck up or boring (so annoying) but then those that do bother to put in the little bit of effort get the other side of me which is pretty outgoing and bubbly! I'm a mixed bag!

Such a good post Amy and I completely agree with everything you said! I was really quiet when I was younger and my teachers would say the same at every parents evening. I'm a lot less quiet now but still not really loud - I think I'm pretty outgoing if I meet someone one-on-one but I'm still hopelessly awkward in large groups and revert back to quiet me, so I guess I'm a bit of both nowadays. Quiet DEFINITELY doesn't mean boring, can't believe people think that - plus I totally agree on the mysterious thing haha! Gorge photos xxx

I can be quite when I am not feeling Ok with some people, but normally when I feel comfortable I tend to speak more :) You are right, your father too, being quiet is not a bad thing. And yes, secrets are kept, quiet people are good listeners, all true. As I said, I am know for telling some stories, etc :) And when I am quiet, then the person knows I am not feeling comfortable with them. It happens with two girls I lately have to bear. I feel so bad in their presence, but as I said, I have to bear them for personal reasons. People then ask me "why are you so quiet today?" And I can't say the real reason :) So, being quiet is not bad when it's to protect the peace of family, too :) Hope you have a very nice week! XXXDenisesPlanet.com

Love this post so much! I'm a quiet person too (INFP) and some negatives can be that people might assume we are standoff-ish but it's always the opposite. I like the mysterious part, like I want someone to get to know me over time than just telling them everything in one day. I have noticed that when I step up and plan something, everyone listens. It's like a secret power. Hehe x

I never know whether to describe myself as quiet or loud - around my family and close friends, I'm quite happy to be a bit loud, but in new situations, in big groups, or with people that I don't know well, I'm usually the quiet one! I definitely agree that being quiet makes someone more empathetic and a good listener, and those are excellent qualities to have! I'm in total agreement with your Dad here!