I wasted away to nothing, 5’10,” 100 and nothing. How could a person that worked in the fitness and health field, struggle with substance abuse? Trust me when I express to you, my reader(s), it’s as possible as athletes, doctors, nurses, psychologists, musicians, police officers and criminals, all eating lunch together, at rehab.

The disease of addiction, does not discriminate and it is a family disease, which means, it has the ability to destroy families.

Now, I am almost 5 years old (sober age) and I have more than learned how to walk again. All my motor functions have returned. The body is a remarkable machine. To a point, the body and its organs have the ability to regenerate.

I learned to walk again, I learned to eat again, I learned to push and pull weight again. I am more than off to the proverbial races. My confidence is higher than it has ever been. I walk into a health club and I have supreme confidence.

NOSTALGIA

When I used to work at health clubs, I used to train on the same floor, where I worked. I always suggest doing that, if you are a new trainer. It’s good for members, to see you, training where you work. You may turn a member, into a client because they may be more willing to talk to you and not as defensive, as if they thought you were trying to prospect them.

Sure, you may not get a hard training session in but you can always get a membership at another health club; you can even turn part of your home, into a workout space.

The pictures from up above, are pictures of my primary workout facility. I chose it, based on what I call, “the nostalgia choice.” I used to work here from 1996 to 2004. It was my very first, real job. Every time I walk into this place I rediscover memories receive great energy, from them.

I put my wireless head phones on and my training mask, which allows me, to get into, my necessary zone. It allows me to prepare to take my monster, out of his cage, for a hour or two, each day.

Headphones go on, mouths go shut.

The music beats hard and the accompanied lyrics, deliver knock-out, caliber, strikes.

Music is incredibly important; it is one of the greatest motivators in life. What are some of my other motivators?

Function – I want to perform everyday activities without being out of breath. I want to be well balanced, especially in the winter, when it is slippery out. I want to be functionally strong, so I can lift things, or people

Aesthetic – I want to look good, for me, for her. I want my body to turn her on and back to that function, I want my body, to perform well, for her.

Longevity – Since I almost died, twice, I want to live once. I merely existed, when I was abusing substances. Instead of just existing, I want to live. I want to embrace my time on Earth; with proper diet and fitness, I should be able to increase my life span…the Universe, willing.

Form follows function and function is extremely important to me. I used to play soccer and that sport, dictated the type of training I did. I knew there was a purpose, to the training. The ability to run the equivalent of 6 miles, for 90 minutes, was paramount.

Therefore, my cardiovascular training, had to be on a whole other level.

To be able to serve a ball, 50+ meters, to a teammate’s foot, required a lot of leg training. This was my functional work, at that time. Well, that’s been over. I have not played in a soccer match, in more than 4 years and I lost my passion for it, much longer than that.

Now, I want to be able to perform, everyday, life activities, without injury or loss of breath. Add, my need, to want to perform incredibly well, in the bedroom, is another, motivating function, now.

My next girl and I won’t be turning on football on Sundays, watching a bunch of overpaid, adult children, running around a field, playing a collision sport.

My next girl and I will be working out together, lifting weights, for that foreplay and taking it to the bedroom, if we can make it out of the home fitness center, that is.

Needless to say, I train to develop functional, sexual, activity. Oh, I also train to be able to move furniture, around.

I train consistently and I eat consistently, well. I take pictures and videos, all the time. I do this so that I can keep myself accountable. I do this so I can motivate myself, through progress. I do this, so I can inspire you.

In 2013, I weighed barely over a 100 pounds. I destroyed my body, inside, out.

If I can do it, you can too. The biggest challenge will continue to be… finding one’s will, to do the uncomfortable. To strive for greatness, is to enjoy the journey. The reward is in the desired progress and mini-accomplishments, by way of personal records and aesthetic change.

If you want to work with me, I can send workouts, specific to your goals, to your email, weekly. If you want advising sessions on Skype or Snapchat, I can do those too. Contact me for more info and to see if you qualify, to work together. Must possess DDD’s (Discipline, Dedication, & Determination).

I’m home, in peace, love and nature. I am incredibly grateful, today, to be able to appreciate, so many things. My Sober Coach asks me daily, what my word for the day is and I always say, “gratitude.” To be here, laying on this hammock, right off the dock, was not always promised for me. In fact, my fate, was nearly ill-fated.

I don’t need to go back there though, not anymore. My blogging on addiction, and recovery, can be searched through my site or directly accessed through the links in this sentence. you are presently reading. I also wrote a book, my Intimate Recoverycan be bought onAmazon,Barnes & Noble, iStore, and also read at Scribd.

I have always wanted to write a book, after all, my undergraduate degree is a Degree in Language, Literature and Writing, from Eastern Michigan University. My minor was Communications and Theater Arts, which gave me a curriculum between both my Minor and Major that I really enjoyed. When I came to the realization I did not want to teach, I began studying exercise science so I could train people. In a sense, I still taught but I traded an academic classroom for a fitness classroom. I’ve ultimately bounced back and forth.

I am very grateful that my first book is a self-help book. It really is for those people that are willing to get sober and stay sober. I am happy that it has been well received and I am grateful for the feedback. I want to also thank so many of my closest friends fam, that have supported my book by donating, buying it and sharing it. Which by the way, it can be shared on Facebook (Like & Share) and via the book’s website, intimaterecovery.com. I also want to thank Nicole, who manages Intimate Recovery, on Facebook. She does a great job maintaining it and forwarding me, the messages.

If the book is good to read, on a hammock, during the day time… what happens when… night falls?

Watch the Intimate Recovery Short Film Trailer at IntimateRecovery.com

When night falls, it’s time to put Intimate Recovery, the book, down. When night is at its darkest and most eerily, silent, then is the time to watch the Intimate Recovery, the short film, trailer. Turn the volume up and hold on!

I’m extremely appreciative to have been inspired to do this film and it’s because of the visionary Director, Arturo Rivera, that we are bringing people this visual interpretation of Intimate Recovery.

That’s a Wrap

Arturo is no stranger to film making and was a cinematographer on the feature length film, Krampus 2. He has been so incredibly active in 2017 and NY Elite Magazine did an article on Arturo, which included highlighting Intimate Recovery.

Arturo has been a vital part of my recovery and rekindling an old love… the performing arts. You see, I am a college educated and trained, Thespian. Having mentioned that, acting for film is much different than acting in theater. I was much more comfortable with stage acting, than I was with acting for film.

In theater, all movements have to be bigger and louder, almost exaggerated. After all, the audience is sitting more than 50 feet away but in film, movements are much less animated. It was a difference I was not quite used to.

I am a has-been, model, but I am familiar with playing characters, I’m used to playing a role. When I decided I had enough courage to take on this role, the real growing began.

From pre-production to principal filming, Arturo has been a hands-on director, a passionate story teller and an inspiring artist. I have to thank both him and Jerry Reid for this amazing journey. It is 1 of 2, of the biggest projects of my entire, professional & personal life.

I have learned so much about film, that I never knew before. I have also learned that when given an opportunity, guidance and a goal… it’s hard to then miss your mark.

Working with Arturo Rivera has been rewarding and I have been taken back by who else I have met through the making of this film. I want to thank, cast mate and multi-talented Musician/Artist, Jay Ohso.

Jay is so well respected in Detroit, as an incredible recording artist/lyricist. Jay plays multiple characters in Intimate Recovery and I must say, one of the most committed artists, I have ever worked with.

When deciding who should play my other half, there was much thought put on it. We talked about what this person should possess. This woman would ultimately be a person who compliments this man’s strength in recovery by being just as strong, just as courageous.

This woman’s mere presence is enough for our leading man’s heart, to begin beating, an inspired beat. Her love and care is consistent and trusted. Her loyalty is unquestioned and her ability to move a room is apparent.

She needed to contrast his darkness, with her light.

What happens when your best friend wants the role but you don’t ask her?

What almost happened was me, not asking Kristina Spillane, also known as Model Kristy Ann. I am glad I finally did ask her.

Kristy Ann

Kristina is one of only a couple people in my inner circle, that did not know me, during my substance abuse issues. I met her when I got sober and we became fast friends and she even became the Face of my So Crucial brand.

In this day and age, a great many people are self-consumed and do not have much interest in others. Kristina is much different of a person and she sees the good in everyone. Her heart is uniquely, one of a kind. She helped rebuild part of my brand, professionally and personally, has helped me through a great deal.

I would like to think I have helped her some, too.

She does not owe me anything, though. Yet, she was the first to donate to my book. She was also the first to share it.

She does not owe me anything.

Who else encompasses what my better half, in Intimate Recovery, should possess? Who else but Kristina?

I put myself out there. I asked. It made me feel slightly vulnerable. People don’t understand, this project is the most important of my life and if someone you respect so highly, if they say “no,” then it would be tough. Although, it never came to that because Kristina agreed to do it and complimented me by really wanting to do it. It’s great when a respected artist works on the same project with you but it’s even better when they are just as anxious, to be apart of it.

I am very happy that Kristina was apart of it because acting is never that difficult when it’s fam.

A post shared by Kristy Ann (@modelkristyann) on May 2, 2017 at 9:06pm PDT

It’s a Small World

On a photo shoot, shortly after Kristina and I filmed our sequence for Intimate Recovery, Kristina met Antoinette Marie. This was not a planned meet and they so happened to both be in the same state for a photo shoot. Antoinette and I met years ago and is one person I have an extremely spirited connection with. I find that everything in the Intimate Recovery Universe has happened for a reason. It has truly put the right people together, at the right time.

It’s a honor to be amongst these great authors, at Treehouse, Farmington.

As of this published blog entry, I have been sober for more than 4 years. I was not supposed to make it out of the hospital but thankfully I did. I was finally ready and willing to do whatever it took, to stay sober. You see, everyone that struggles with substance abuse, has to be willing to get sober and stay sober. The person who struggles, can not do it for work, family, children, etc. No person, place or thing can ever keep someone sober.

I had to do it for myself and it took almost giving up my life, not once but twice, to realize that I wanted to live.

I went back to a familiar place, when I returned to Metro Detroit. I returned to the place that I had not been to in years. I returned to The Treehouse for Earth’s Children, located in Farmington, Michigan. I had originally visited The Treehouse when I was a teenager and had my very first Wheat Grass Shot! I was hooked after that. From there, I went away to attend EMU and traveled the world, post bachelor degree.

Fast forward to today, I walk into The Treehouse almost everyday for a few of my favorite food items.

Produce Arrives Weekly at the Treehouse!

I have a chapter in my book, that I talk about diet. Having a proper, healthy diet (comprised of raw food), has helped my body repair and feel better than ever.

I have more energy at 36 years of age, than I had at the age of 20. I find that consuming living enzymes from whole raw foods has made the difference.

I have trusted The Treehouse for Earth’s Children, with my nutrition needs. I have built my body back, with the help of The Treehouse and their knowledgeable, kind, thoughtful staff.

My favorite produce selections include –

Bananas

Potatoes

Spinach

Arugula

From the Cafe, I tend to order –

Raw Potato Dish (ask Lisa about it)

Power Drink (ask Lisa about it)

Kale Salad

I also make it a point, to attend The Treehouse Buffet, that takes place every 3rd Sundayof the month. Included in the spread are Raw Foods and Gerson Book Foods.

I want to thank The Treehouse for believing in me and supporting my book, by making it available for people to purchase. If my book can help just one person, than that is my reward. To save just one life, will have made my life worthwhile. I would encourage people to check out The Treehouse for more than just the produce, cafe and lunch buffet, once a month.

The Treehouse for Earth’s Children also has massage therapy and many other alternative medicine services. There are all kinds of classes running throughout the year also! People from all over Michigan go to The Treehouse. People go for the wealth of knowledge made available to them but also the kindness and wonderful energy that surrounds everyone.

I wish everyone well on their respective health journey. If you see me at The Treehouse, feel free to communicate with me! I am sure I will see many of you at the Monthly Treehouse Buffet!

Also, for those that did not know, my book, “Intimate Recovery,” is in film production and will be coming soon; the trailer is below! Thanks to The Treehouse, they helped fuel (via glorious food) my fitness training sessions, for the last sequence of the film that requires me to achieve a certain body aesthetic.