Saturday, October 05, 2013

PLAY DUMB. BE BORING.
DON'T SOLVE PROBLEMS.
AND ABOVE ALL, DON'T BE YOURSELF.

Not exactly what you'd expect to hear from a communication expert, but these counterintuitive strategies are precisely what we need to interact productively and meaningfully in today's digital world. Our overreliance on quick, cheap, and easy means of "staying connected" is eroding our communication skills. Speed steamrolls thoughtfulness; self-expression trumps restraint. Errors and misunderstandings increase. And our relationships suffer.

With startling insights and a dash of humor, Stop Talking, Start Communicating combines scientific research with real-world strategies to deliver a proven approach to more effective communication.

My review: Social media such as Twitter, Facebook and email are here to stay and most of us make use of these services often each day. According to the author, these interactions are low-level communications. When we talk face-to-face and engage in in-depth conversation, negotiation, problem solving, and creative interactions that are deeply personal - these are high-level communications. While low-level communication has many advantages and is an essential part of our modern world, for Tumlin, low-level communication has the danger of undermining and distracting us from high-level communication when high-level communication is the most appropriate or necessary. How many times have you been trying to have a face-to-face conversation with someone who keeps looking at their mobile/cell phone? Or doing their email in a meeting when they need to be fully present? How many of us have been caught up in email misunderstandings, forgetting how limited that medium can be in understanding someone?
In this short book, the author offers a series of practical, and often surprising, strategies for managing communication in our modern society where fast and superficial communication is the norm. It's short, to the point, easy to read, well written - just what we need for our busy lifestyles! The challenge, of course, will be putting the strategies into practice. But if we want good, healthy, meaningful relationships then that is just what we need to do.