Working Mum's, Real Life, Real Issues, Real People

You all know the days I’m talking about; you feel grumpy and snappy but can’t explain why. Speaking to people requires a huge amount of effort as well as motivation and it appears that anything and everything you turn your hand to simply doesn’t work out. Of course it’s not really as bad as this. A non sufferer of anxiety will just put it down to ‘one of those days’ and plod on. For others however, such as myself, the feelings are intensified by the knot of ‘murrness’ lurking deep within the pit of the stomach. It’s like it just sits there lurking in the wings, desperate to make an unwanted appearance, resulting in butterflies the size of bats fluttering around the stomach with a side portion of paranoia! ‘That client emailed me ‘this response’ so he MUST be thinking I am incapable’. ‘A particular company hasn’t got back to me so they MUST be choosing to ignore me’! ‘My husband has asked me if there is a clean dress for our youngest so he MUST be hinting at the giant washing pile I have discussed in a previous post’! And finally, ‘My friend has not replied to me for a couple of days so that MUST mean she now doesn’t want me in her life’! Let’s break it down……

Image says it all…….

So the client I have decided thinks I am unable to carry out the work due to a recent response has not actually said those very words. His emails are always short and to the point as is his telephone manor. I know him well enough to understand that any issues would be brought immediately to my attention. Situation and analysis of problem number one dealt with.

Let’s move on. The company that happen to have not yet responded or as I worded it ‘are ignoring me’. Three days waiting for a response is not a long time in the grand scheme of things. I am notorious for being impatient yet can seriously take my time when it comes to responding. My friends (the close ones of which I’m lucky to be blessed with a handful of) all understand that when I don’t text back or call it’s just because I am busy/useless (tongue in cheek). I have one friend who will text me the same message repeatedly, every day until I answer. Another friend will text my phone, call my phone, ring the house phone then bring out the big guns by sending a text to my husband who will say ‘Helen, can you call this person and let them know you are still alive please’! Getting back to the lack of response from ‘said’ company, businesses have a lot to deal with on a daily basis, not just me – shock horror I know. You mean I am not the centre of the universe? Second issue analysed to the max and dealt with. Patience is a virtue.

Worry number three – the washing….. let’s face it, this one doesn’t even deserve a second thought. Husband was not hinting, just required some form of clothing for the child. If he was hinting then tough boobies – he knows where the washer is!

Final thought swimming around my brain is the lack of contact from a friend. Given what I have just said about my response process I don’t think this one requires any further question! The real friends are those that you don’t speak with for months on end then run into whilst out shopping and chat as if you saw each other the previous day.

If I can part with any worthy knowledge at all it’s the fact that people are strange – myself probably more than most! I can just hear certain voices laughing hysterically at my last statement given some of the recent conversations I’ve been involved in regarding alien abduction and reptilian likeness for Rhesus Negative individual’s (I may expand on this in future posts but possibly run the risk of losing readers)! I think I shall revoke the word ‘strange’ and replace it with ‘unique’. Everyone has their quirks, their issues, insecurities, paranoia’s and anxieties. It’s how we deal with each of these that matters. A logical thought process requires many to take a step back in order to work through the problem. Good old fashion laughter is a great back up. Keep smiling everyone 🙂

As any mum will know, there is seldom time to be poorly when you are a parent. There is nothing worse than waking up with a stinking cold, a stomach upset or a rotten virus come bug type episode that knocks you off your feet for a good few days. Children are built with a finely tuned instinct designed to recognise any weakness that happens to crop up and have a magical ability to hone in on this almost instantly. ‘A ha…. mum is poorly – I will shout at the top of my voice in order to get my sisters into trouble’! ‘Mum’s looking peaky – perhaps now is the time to create that mural on the bathroom wall with that fabulous new lipstick she spent a fortune on’, and finally ‘Oh pants – mam’s not well – my P.E kit won’t be washed’! The latter comes from my eldest – I must teach her to use the washer! Let’s face it, as a parent we simply cannot afford to be poorly.

To be fair, I am one of the lucky ones. My husband will take care of the children which involves feeding them and getting them to school if any illness happens to be during the week. I can usually tell when his limits have been met as voices will raise a little, doors begin to slam and he comes in and out of the bedroom constantly looking for ‘washing’; and things to ‘clean up’- this is the danger sign telling me I need to neck some strong pain killers and get moving pretty sharpish! Once I am better I can then clean up after them all (a wink to hubby should he be reading)!

I can’t help thinking that the stinking man flu I have just endured is Karma giving me a kicking after the recent experiment I performed. Let me first just set the scene for you. It’s Saturday evening. The children are in bed and my significant other is at the pub. I am sitting in my office at home (whilst Harry Styles stares back at me on one of my three screens – not only am I far to old to like Mr. Styles I am a geek), in my P.J’s and am going to indulge you in a story about washing. Yes, you read that correctly – I am going to tell you all about the experiment I did with my WASHING. ‘Wowzers’ I hear you all gasp! ‘Things are about to get exciting’!

Where I live is home to five people and that makes five pairs of pants on a daily basis (minimum – if I sneeze it could be more [massive joke there, we have a six year old with bladder issues]), five pairs of socks, five tops, trousers, vests, bra’s and whatever else anyone decides to fashion that day. By evening time the wash basket is full. Washing goes in, comes out, get’s dried. Here comes the clever (or tricky) part…….. Each person owns their own basket which goes into the bottom of their wardrobe. Anything that needs ironing gets folded and put into said basket. Other items are hung up straight away or put into drawers as necessary. With me so far? This is the method I have always adhered to and you know what – it works. It really works. The amount of washing remains under control and as long as at least one load of washing is done very day, myself, husband and children usually have everything we/they need. If this routine is carried out by me and me only all is well. When others get involved (namely the male of the household) it all goes pear shaped. ‘Please can you put a load in today’ I ask. And that is what he will do. In the washer, out of the washer, socks and pants on the breakfast bar, trousers and skirts folded, towels and tops in disarray on the dining table. Do they move from their newly allocated homes? Yes! Who moves them? Me!

Let’s minus a wife & mummy altogether. What happens then? This is where my tactical experiment came in. I decided to do no washing whatsoever over the past 8/9 days. What a cafuffle! Kids were scrabbling around every morning for school uniforms, PE and swimming kits were nowhere to be found and socks – man alive – I have never seen so many people scuffling in the sock box to find a matching pair. One morning my husband told me he had no fresh socks…….. I diplomatically decided not to answer!

Thursday arrived and admittedly I caved. It had become too much for me to bear. Not only was the kitchen adrift in odd socks, pants and swimming costumes, the foot of the bed had become home to three overflowing baskets of items desperate to be placed. The wash baskets of which we own three of were overflowing and the floor was becoming littered. Three hours I spent sorting out what was what and what should go where. When I had finished I sat and realised what a waste of time it was. Those three hours I could have spent doing something fun with my children. Should never have caved!

Anyway, I got my point across and hopefully the washing routine will kick in. Either that or I will be writing the exact same blog in three months time! I am guessing the latter is far more likely!

Just to be clear, comments I make in my blog posts are done so ‘tongue in cheek’. I wouldn’t change what I have for anything in the world. When it comes to daily life and relationships, everyone ‘goes through the motions’ from time to time. It’s how you deal with certain issues that counts. Humor certainly helps in our house. We manage to laugh about most things and I think this is the best medicine for everything – including those rotten times when you feel poorly.

Take vitamin C, exercise regularly and maintain a healthy diet. If, like me, this proves to be too much of a chore, enjoy your family and friends, eat nice and naughty food sensibly, try and get decent sleep and have a drink once in a while! Each day is what you make of it folks! Plod on and don’t let the washing rule your life!

Look at this innocent girls’ face – pretty, happy, full of life – Amanda Berry, lost a decade ago and found just this week by a neighbour. Ok, so this post is quite different from my first two but it’s a story that has touched me. I cannot comprehend what this young lady along with the other two missing for 9 years have endured. My heart goes out to each and every one of them, along with the 6 year old girl also found and believed to be Miss. Berry’s.

My thoughts move onto the family and friends of the three involved. How would you cope with this? Fingers crossed, touch wood and pray to whatever you may believe in that such a tragic event NEVER happens to anyone you know. I am lucky enough to have no experience on either side of this awful truth and am not even sure I could imagine the turmoil experienced on a daily basis. Lost, never found, no trace, how would I cope? You have to cope – it’s what we do. We get on with things yet never give up – not really. I am fairly certain there will always be that ray of hope lingering somewhere.

Just a short one today as I really must get some work done. I would like people to think about this story, look at friends, family and loved ones and appreciate them. We all have bad days. A bad decade does not bear thinking about.

To Amanda Berry, Michelle Knight and Gina DeJesus, my heart goes out to you all. I hope you can learn to deal with past events and move on with your lives in the best way possible.