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Friday, May 25, 2012

Worst. Date. Ever.

When I was writing about the bachelorette, I mentioned that Kalon reminded me of a guy I went out with in college. Julia wanted to know the story, and I decided this story deserves to be its very own post. I tell it to my classes all the time. Everybody has the really awful date story that becomes more of a legend than a truth. This is mine.

One morning my friend Charley took some graduation pictures for me. (not a critical part of the story, but I needed a reason to put this picture on the blog. I have a distinct memory of what I wore on that date and I feel like you needed to visualize it with me) Later when I was at home a cute boy in my apartment complex came over and asked to borrow some nail polish. He explained it was great for marking parts on your engine, it wouldn't wear off as easily as other things. I told cute boy yes. He had a friend with him, but I didn't pay any attention to him. They returned a few minutes later and cute boy said, "We have an extra ticket to see [some BYU folk dance performance]. Do you want to go?" I said sure, he said be ready by 6. So I was. Only it wasn't cute boy that came to my door, it was friend. I asked about cute boy. Friend informed me he would not be joining. I got the impression that this had always been the plan, they just didn't feel the need to tell me. . . first flag.

So Friend and I get into the car. What are you majoring in?Family and Consumer Science, I say. You? Well, I'm at UVU for a very exclusive pilot program. It was quite obvious that he didn't want me to think he was not BYU material. I'm sure he came from a long line of BYU grads and was so ashamed his interested pulled him away from the Lord's University. Also, he added, I have several small businesses. He listed about four or five. I can't remember even one of them!

While we're sitting down he asks, How many kids in your family. I'm the oldest of six, I say. Wow! Thats a huge family! There's just me and my brother in my family. We're very close. As if my family was way too big to be close.

So Kimberly, what instruments do you play, you know other than the piano? At this point, he's been talking up stereo types of typical Utah girls and I knew this would fit right it with his idea of the "typical Mormon girl". So I'm sorry to say, I lied. Did I tell you I played the piano? No, I just assumed.Oh because I don't. I play the guitar. He was stunned. And I was going to tell the truth, that I do play both the piano and guitar, but I play the guitar very badly. But he was just so smug I though I would be forgiven for this small white lie.

After the show was over he took me to get dinner. Things were about to get . . . weirder. To be continued. . .

KIM! You have a blog besides your design one??? I did not know this until now. And it is so funny. I am cracking up/crying in all of your posts! They are great! Can't wait to read about the rest of this date! :) I went on a date one time where the guy drooled into his food. Yep, drooled. (it wasn't billy :) )