Psalm 23 for guitarists.

The Lord is my plectrum
I shall not drop
He maketh me to plug into vintage amplifiers
He leadeth me beside the knobs eleven
He restoreth my eardrum
and leadeth me in a DADGAD tuning
for Ravi Shankars sake

Yea, though I suffer the bitching of the singer
I will touch no volume
my riffing is endless
the wah wah pedal, it comforts me

You lay for me a blues jam
in the presence of mine enemies
You annointeth their eyes with wonder
my solo runneth over

Surely feedback and sonic distortion
will follow me around the druids circle
of my pedals for ever
and I will deafen the lead singer
all the days of his life
Amen