The Proper Greeting Is A Neutral One

The "critic's choice" is "I'm glad to know you." Which response do you prefer?

Gentle Reader-You may take it as a rule that people who go around criticizing other people's manners (and no, that does not include Miss Manners, who always waits politely until she is asked for her opinion) have no better knowledge of other rules of etiquette than they do of the rule prohibiting minding other people's business.

The rule is that one does not offer a personal assessment on credit, before an acquaintanceship has begun. Thus, the proper greeting is not any version of being pleased, but a neutral "How do you do?"

This can, however, be sweetened by attributing a compliment to someone in a position to know-"Annabelle speaks so highly of you," or "Of course, we all know of your wonderful work."

Dear Miss Manners-I have a beautiful house that I'm proud of. When people visit, do I show them around? I don't want to sound as if I'm showing off.

Gentle Reader-When last Miss Manners checked, suggesting that people take a special look at one's possessions, out of pride and in order to solicit admiration, was the definition of showing off.

But there are alternatives.

With overnight guests, one can say "Let me show you around," under the implied excuse that they need to know where things are so they don't get lost going back from the bathroom at night.

The best way to show off only among good friends is to be frank: "I've done over the bedroom, and I'm so thrilled with the way it came out-would you like to see it?"

Next best is mentioning some point of interest for which you (and your taste and money) are obviously not responsible: "The house is quite old-are you interested in old houses?"

When all else fails, you may pass this off as a foible of yours: "I'm always so interested in the different ways people arrange their houses, so I'd be glad to show you around if anyone has a special interest."