1974 Schlitz Malt Liquor Recipes For Drinking And Dining

Spice up your next swingin' key party with a tray of Schlitz "Malt Twisters" and a table full of Schlitz-marinated pork.

Lady Hophead visited an estate sale on our street recently and picked up what has to be the greatest, most hilarious example of misguided beer marketing I have ever seen: a 1974 pamphlet from Schlitz full of food and "cocktail" recipes featuring the malt liquor.

Oddly, all the food recipes call for pork. For example: "Lone Star Ham Kabobs," consisting of ham marinated in a glaze of French dressing mix, chili powder, vinegar, salad oil and a can of Schlitz, then speared with orange chunks and green pepper and grilled.

The drink recipes are just as unrealistically aspirational. There's the "Malt Hopper," a jigger of white creme de menthe and 8 ounces Schlitz Malt Liquor poured over ice. Or the "Malt Sangria," a punch made of Schlitz and ginger ale with orange, lemon and lime slices -- and a maraschino cherry on top.

But the ultimate example of trying to class up a hopelessly low-class beverage is the Maltini. The recipe: "8 oz. Schlitz Malt Liquor. Green Olive. Pour Schlitz Malt Liquor over ice cubes in a 13 oz. double old-fashioned glass. Garnish with a green olive." I can think of a few other names for this drink that would be more fitting than "Maltini," such as "Tragecomedini," "Dying Alone-ini," "Last Drink-ini" or "Suicidini."

The pamphlet opens with "Facts about the Bull," such as "Fact 1: Bold. The bull is the symbol of Schlitz Malt Liquor with good reason. That reason is because it's bold -- as bold as the Bull himself! It's different than beer -- different because it's brewed under a different formula. Formula -- that's the key. That's what creates Schlitz Malt Liquor's unique zesty flavor!"