Otherwise entitled, “Dear lord, Hornets, you had two previous chances to hit that elusive .500 mark by beating weak ass teams like the Knicks and the Raptors and you lost both games. Well, tonight you have the reeling Bulls, who lost a game in which they had a 35 point lead AT HOME. I know you suck on the road this year, but come on.”

Look, Hornets, we need to talk. You want to be over .500, right? Well, mathematics says that before you can be over .500, you have to actually be .500. As in, at the balance point at which you have as many wins as losses. That’s just math, guys. Math is your friend. And yet you are treating it like it it not. You have been looking at math like it is some crazy nigh-un-overcome-able weird mental block. But it’s just math.

Or look at it this way. You are currently the 15th best team in the NBA. Yay for being incredibly average! Nay, the very definition of average. But there are some teams above you that you can be better than. You can be better than OKC (they’re .500). You can be better than Miami (they’re a one-dude team like you, and they’re in the East). You can be better than San Antonio (they’re not lookin’ pretty this year) and Utah (ditto). You could be better than Houston if you tried as hard as they do and had their coach (they got even more nobodies than you on their team and they’re 17-12!) Pass ONLY TWO of those teams and you are in the playoffs despite one of the more depressing starts in the league.

.500 game. Let’s try this one more time.

P.S. It’s Devin Brown’s 31st birthday on December 30th. Should I get him something?

In lieu of actual Hornets content, I felt I had to share this with you. I didn’t make it. @BringEmOut02 did. But it is indeed great. The Peja elf in particular looks like he really loves being in that outfit…

Chris Paul could not be stopped tonight. He had 30 points, 19 assists, and 9 rebounds. He was 7-7 in the third quarter. He was inside, he was outside, he was in the lane (finally, yes, we can all exhale a bit to see him dominating from there for the first time since his ankle injury), at the line. There was a stretch of the third to fourth quarters in which he had 22 out of the Hornets 24 points. There was a point when the Nuggets made a mini-run to close the gap, and Chris Paul checked back into the game, and his very presence, solely by being on the floor, was magic.

And there it was, in the building tonight, the Thing We Don’t Talk About. The players knew it. The fans knew it. And then in the fourth quarter I noticed something. Namely that Darius Songaila and Emeka Okafor weren’t on the floor, which was a little unusual. And that Devin Brown was, which was also a little unusual (but unsurprising considering neither Collison nor Thornton had a good showing tonight). The Hornets went with a crunch time lineup of Paul/West/Posey/Stojakovic/Brown. I think it is not coincidental that those five guys were all there last April, and were playing inspired and scrappy ball tonight. I think they wanted to close this out. And I think they deserved to.

If you’ve ever seen the movie The Sting, it’s about two con men who get revenge on a big mob boss by running an elaborate con and cheating him out of a quarter million dollars. But, the one character warns the other, taking the boss’s money isn’t going to be enough– it’s not going to change the past. And at the end, the other guy turns to the first guy and says, “You’re right. It’s not enough…. But it’s close.”

Where we semi-regularly give you the best pickings from the Hornets twitter feeds. What’s up with the guys? Well, the weather’s been on their minds, just like all of us regular people. (IS IT GOING TO FREAKING STOP STORMING EVER? Seriously. This is the second straight week.)

(‘Cause ya live in next to somewhere over there Plaquemines Parish, son. Get used to that thing. It’s always parked around there. Haha.)

@Bbrownsix was a little freaked out by the weather, and even posted a vid from what appears to be his rooftop window (And, since New Orleans isn’t exactly a large city, we now know which building he lives in. Haha). He’s also got a new custom background by @ejkiewicz_com.

This rain and wind just woke me up… All I gotta say is Wow!!!!!!

Man I dnt kno wat just hit the NOLA but it was crazy… I need to get back to LA… Geesh

Where I’m from I’m use to Eartquakes and a lil bit of rain.. Not mini Hurricanes and Thunderstorms…Oh Dipppppppppp!!!!!!!

So let’s get back on the hype side of things. Peja’s hosting his bowling event this week, and all the money raised goes to help kids. And guess what? It’s going to be live streamed this year, so you can watch online even if you don’t go.

Here’s the press release and info on how to get tickets if you want to support the event:

SwaggMedia to stream the 3rd Annual Charitabowl for the Peja Stojakovic Children’s Foundation

New Orleans, LA (PRWEB) December 11, 2009 — New Orleans Hornets forward Peja Stojakovic announced that he will dedicate a basketball/volleyball court at Delgado Park in Lakeview as part of his foundation’s “Court for Kids” initiative on Tuesday, Dec. 15 at 3:30 p.m. That same week, on Thursday, Dec. 17, Peja will host his 3rd Annual “Peja’s Charitabowl” fundraiser at the All Star Lanes in Kenner.

In partnership with SwaggMedia, the Charitabowl event will be streamed online free of charge at www.peja16.com and on http://swaggmedia.com. This will be the first time that Peja’s Charitabowl will be available to fans globally.

Lane sponsorships start at $1,500 for one lane and $2,500 for two lanes. Each lane includes bowling for four, one celebrity bowler, four bowling shirts, dinner and a special gift bag. Multiple lane sponsors and other corporate sponsorship packages are also available at a variety of price points. Lane sponsorships and tickets for the Charitabowl can be purchased by calling (504) 208-2274 or by visiting www.peja16.com. VIP (non-bowler) tickets are also available at $75 per person. The VIP tickets include early entry at 6pm as well as dinner, gift bag and opportunity to bid for live and silent auction items. General admission tickets are available at $35 for adults and $15 for children under 16. The doors for general admission open at 7:30pm.

Hornets players, Honeybee dancers, Hugo and other local celebrities and athletes will attend the event. The Charitabowl will also feature a live DJ, photo and autograph opportunities, as well as a live and silent auction with memorabilia and other distinctive items. Prizes will be given away throughout the evening.

“I’m very happy to be able to continue efforts to support the local community of New Orleans through the foundation. Thanks to the last year’s Charitabowl event we were able to help many children and their families by distributing books, food and refurbishing basketball courts. This is a result of the hard work of many people — not just me,” said Stojakovic.

Proceeds from the bowling event will go toward Peja’s “Courts for Kids”, a continuing initiative of the Peja Stojakovic Children’s Foundation, aimed at promoting health and fitness education through the game of basketball. The project installs new basketball courts, refurbishes existing ones and distributes basketball equipment in economically disadvantaged areas of New Orleans, providing children with an opportunity to stay off the streets.

“SwaggMedia is honored to be able to contribute to such a great cause. Technology is the future so the synergy was perfect,” says SwaggMedia CEO, Craig Noble.

About SwaggMedia

Swagg is that something unique and forward-thinking that breaks out from the pack. And SwaggMedia is bringing exactly that to the world of new media. Masterminded by legendary music industry executive Craig Nobles and co-founded by professional basketball player David West, SwaggMedia represents the evolution of internet distribution. SwaggMedia has built proprietary technology to launch a platform in 2010 that will be the one-stop destination for news, commerce, social networking, original content and live streaming video. Users can purchase music, TV and movies, share their experiences with their extended networks, watch live events and get up to the minute information on all facets of pop culture. More than a website, SwaggMedia will encompass a lifestyle, giving users across the globe access to a world they could only imagine. We look forward to introducing you to SwaggMedia.

About Peja Stojakovic Children’s Foundation

The Predrag Stojakovic Children’s Foundation, a non-profit organization strives to brighten the lives of children who suffer from displacement, poor quality of life, and loneliness. Mission of Peja Stojakovic Children’s Foundation is to provide and educate children and their families on issues of critical concern such as food, shelter, economic self-sufficiency and hope. Since the Hornets move back to New Orleans, Peja Stojakovic has been active with his organization by building basketball courts for kids, distributing food and necessities to needy people as well as distributing books and school supplies to youth organizations (First Book being one of the beneficiaries). As a recognition of his charitable work, Stojakovic received the NBA’s Community Assist Award for the month of December 2009. Peja Stojakovic Children’s Foundation’s mission is to provide and educate children and their families on issues of critical concern such as food, shelter, economic self-sufficiency and hope.

I don’t care what you or anyone thinks. This game was fucking embarrassing. TT6 thinks I was embarrassing because I was so angry about this game. I think everyone in the stands should have been furious. The Knicks scored the last 18 points. Let that sink in. A team with 3 wins last week just torched us. Think about it. The last few sloppy games haven’t been “off games.” Nope They are us. TT6 also says I can’t “Shit List” our own team. Too bad. They deserve it.

And so do we, of course. I mean, we always have. It took me exactly one preseason game to become Marcus Thornton’s biggest internet fan. This kid is just flat out making this season fun to watch for me. But Lil Buckets got a lil press this week. Hoopsworld did a piece on him for their Life As A Rookie feature. Some quotes:

“I feel like I have to work harder than everybody else – go above and beyond what everybody else is doing – to maintain this role and not lose it.” – Marcus Thornton

“Thornton is a deadly shooter. He can really heat it up. I’ve seen him in one game get 32 and make like 5 threes.” – Tyreke Evans

“He’s more than just a shooter, and we try to remind him of that. He can slash. He can get to the basket. He’s unbelievably athletic. We want him to show the world that. Don’t just show us that. Show everybody else that.” – Chris Paul

Thornton on busting out of his weeklong shooting slump last Friday night: “That’s one of the things I’ve had to work on, if my shot is not going, to work on the other aspects of the game like rebounding, cutting to the goal, getting easy buckets so that my offense starts to generate. Once I started doing that (against the Kings) everything started flowing.”

All nicknames for CP3 in China. Keep that in mind, China. Oh, yeah, you too Houston. There’s also this guy in Phoenix called Steve Nash. Don’t know what his nickname is in China, but I can tell you this much: he’s better this year than Tracy McGrady. For those of you that don’t already know, the NBA released the first tallies of All-Star votes. Naturally, Kobe was the highest rated Western Guard. But second? Tracy McGrady. Tracy fucking McGrady.

People, Steve Nash is having a stellar year; and Chris Paul, provided he is healthy from here out, is still CP3, the best point guard in the League (who after having a miserable 15-14 night in Minnesota, is hailed by box-score watchers as having a great night. Um, I guess. I mean, he hit the game winner, but other than that, was not his usual brilliant self; but even half of CP is better than your point guard). Point?

STOP VOTING FOR TRACY MCGRADY.

Maybe it’s ignorant to blame China, but really, are people in Houston that insane to actually vote for a guy who has yet to play a fucking game all year? It’s not that the Chinese are natually not as with it, but at least they are a half a world away and more likely to vote for the few players they have national ties to. Plus if only 10% of people in each country are dumb enough to think McGrady should be even on the ballot, well, there are at least four times as many of such idiots in China, based on population figures.

So listen, did I say it yet? STOP VOTING FOR TRACY MCGRADY. Seriously, I’m going to go all “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back” on people and track you down by your votes and beat your head in.