Judaism and the 12-Step Program

Foundations for attaining life-long recovery.

First published in 1939 in the book titled Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps were developed by the founders of AA as a method of recovery from alcoholism. It has since been adapted to address a myriad of compulsive and obsessive behaviors ― either addiction to substances like narcotics, or a process, such as gambling.

More than 50 different programs have evolved during the past 70 years, with millions of people across the globe having directly benefited from 12-step recovery.

Because much of 12-step recovery exists within the confines of anonymous group meetings, it's difficult to evaluate in a controlled, peer-review process. Therefore, some in the medical and scientific communities are hesitant to testify to ifs effectiveness over other, more clinical approaches. However, ask most people who have spent significant time in the "rooms of recovery" and they will tell you they didn't stand a chance to succeed prior to engaging in twelve-step help.

Judaism has been teaching 12 steps for 3,000 years.

Interestingly, the Twelve Steps is built on a paradigm of self growth that Judaism has been teaching for 3000 years.

The first thing that sticks out upon delving into the Twelve Steps is that the addictive behavior is mentioned only once ― in Step One: "We admitted we were powerless over fill in the blank ― that our lives had become unmanageable." No where else do the steps directly speak about the compulsive habit, for the founders of AA understood addiction to be a three-fold disease:

Physical: intense cravings.

Emotional: using the behavior as a medication and distraction for dealing with challenging issues in life.

Spiritual/intellectual: Not accessing God to help arrest the behavior; stubbornly thinking I can do it on my own.

Therefore, the solution needs to include these three aspects of recovery:

Spiritual/intellectual: Humbly understanding that I am powerless over this behavior and asking God to do for me what I can not do for myself.

The sages have taught that this prototype is the foundation for both individual and global existence.

"Shimon the Righteous says: the world stands on three things - on Torah (spiritual/intellectual), on service (physical) and on kind deeds (emotional)." Ethics of our Fathers, 1:2. The process of teshuva (self-growth and repentance) is rooted in these three pillars of our being.

Intellect can be directed either toward arrogance, or humility (and connection with the Creator).

Emotions can serve jealousy and selfishness, or loving-kindness and caring for others.

Physical instincts can be let loose toward lust and self indulgence, or restrained and channeled for a higher purpose.

Judaism teaches us that a person has three ongoing relationships at which he must excel: 1. with himself; 2. with others; 3. with God.

A relationship with self means an honest assessment of my character strengths and defects, awareness of my purpose for living, and taking responsibility for my actions.

A relationship with others translates into fulfilling my unique role in this world, how I can benefit others, and being aware of the impact I have on those with whom I have contact.

A relationship with God connects me to the Infinite Power in this world, tapping into ultimate pleasure and allowing me to humbly see my place in the grand scheme of creation.

STEPS ONE TO THREE

Looking through this prism, we can see how the Twelve Steps address these three relationships in the recovery process.

Step one: "We admitted we were powerless over fill in the blank ― that our lives had become unmanageable."

Step two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Step three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

The steps begin with an intense self awareness and admission as to the root of the problem ― an inability to change the behavior through willpower alone, and acknowledging the consequences of my conduct (step one: man's relations to self).

Steps two and three transition to man's relationship with God, first recognizing that the Creator of the Universe can in fact change my behavior (step two) if I take the requisite actions (step three). Simply put: "I can't. He can. I think I'll let Him."

Some erroneously argue that admitting powerlessness runs contrary to Judaism's characterization of free will ― "If I truly set my mind to something, I will be able to conquer any challenge."

The Talmud, however, tells us just the opposite. We are taught that a person's yezter hara (evil inclination) grows stronger and renews itself every day. And without God's help, we are powerless to overcome it. (Kidushin 30b)

A fundamental Jewish tenet is that everything is in the hands of the Almighty except for fear of Heaven (Berachot 33b). The sole autonomy we possess in this world is perception (yireh)- - to see ourselves in relation to the Creator of the Universe, with the subsequent awe that results from that observation. We have the freedom of choice, but it's entirely up to the Almighty to allow that choice to successfully develop into action.

The disease of addiction is nothing less than the yezter hara, the lower self, as it manifests in those people given this particular challenge in life. Without God's help, we are truly powerless.

STEPS FOUR TO SEVEN

Step four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step five: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step six: Were entirely ready to have God remove our shortcomings.

Step seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

The recovery process continues with a courageous and comprehensive personal inventory (cheshbon hanefesh). Step four focuses on, among other things, the challenges of arrogance, selfishness, and indulgence that are often found in an addict while in the throes of compulsive behavior.

Acknowledging these character defects to ourselves, to God and talking them out with another person well versed in recovery is critical in correcting the conduct. This is not confession, or seeking absolution, as some mistakenly conclude. Rather, it's a three-fold method of identifying and concretizing specific flaws in order to construct an effective action plan. It's anything but lip service.

Spiritual accountability is a bedrock in Judaism for character development. Working with a partner (chavrusa), or a rabbi to speak out issues and devise strategies for improvement is an encouraged practice (steps four and five: man's relationship to self).

In steps six and seven we again see a transition to man's relationship with God. We recognize that He is the source of success in achieving our spiritual growth and we are enjoined to be proactive in requesting that assistance.

STEPS EIGHT TO TEN

Step eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Step ten: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

How can we ask God to forgive us if we're not accountable for our actions?

Responsibility for our interactions with others is clearly delineated in these three steps. Addictive behavior can take a toll on people far and near the addict. Recovery is in large part a healing process, not only within ourselves, but for any relationship we may have adversely affected.

The universal custom for Jews to identify schisms with those close to us and to ask for forgiveness is a staple of our pre-Yom Kippur activities. How can we ask our Creator to forgive us if we're not willing to be accountable for our actions with others?

STEPS 11 AND 12

Step eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Step twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics/drug addicts/compulsive overeaters/compulsive gamblers etc..and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The steps culminate in collective responsibility to continue investing in our individual connection with God, as well as our communal obligation to use our recovery to help others. Simply put: "You can't keep it unless you give it away." As Maimonides teaches, the highest level of fulfilling the mitzvah to Love God is to enable others to do the same.

We see a synopsis of our three-fold relationships in these final two steps. Strong, long-term recovery requires a consistent focus on physical abstinence from the addictive substance or behavior, as well as continual attention to emotional and spiritual growth. Complacency is a capital crime when it comes to addiction.

In truth, it's a fatal sentence for all of us, addicts or not. The only guarantee we have in this life is death, and therefore every moment is a precious opportunity for growth. This realization, perhaps, flattens a final roadblock some might encounter before engaging in 12-step recovery.

"I already have a religion, I don't need this. It's not from a Jewish source."

The founders of AA were extremely careful to distance this process from any organized religion for fear of turning away an alcoholic that might otherwise benefit. They understood that only through a physical, emotional and spiritual course of action could one attain life-long recovery from the dreaded disease of addiction.

As Jews, this certainly resonates with us. Not, God forbid, as a substitute for our mitzvah observance. But rather as a tool to enhance our Jewish practice and relationship with the Almighty. Does Judaism by itself possess the necessary tools for self growth and improvement? Absolutely!

However, addicts can certainly benefit from a process designed specifically to address the immense challenge that for so long has baffled so many. Numerous Jews who have entered the rooms of recovery battling multitude addictions testify to the betterment of their Jewish observance by the removal of the cloud of compulsive behavior.

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMC, is a Certified Nutrition, Wellness and Weight Management Consultant. He and his wife, Zakah, founded the non-profit organization Soveya (which means “to be satisfied” in Hebrew). They provide educational programs and coaching services in Jewish communities throughout the world addressing nutrition, wellness and weight management. Prior to founding Soveya, Rabbi Glaser learned at Aish HaTorah in Jerusalem from 1991-1996 and worked for seven years at Aish branches in Washington, D.C. and Boston, MA. He can be reached at eli@soveya.com or www.soveya.com.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 39

(30)
An addict,
June 15, 2017 1:50 PM

Loved this article

In most twelve step fellowships, there exists the concept of using my behavior as a drug, even in gambling, the drug for me is my obsession with outsmarting the system etc.
Also not all people have an easy time with religion in the rooms, some have to drop it for a time and never end up coming back and others come back after a period of solid sobriety and recovery so that they are ok once again with the God of their youth

(29)
Anonymous,
October 14, 2016 8:19 AM

AA Meeting to attend in Bay Ridge area

My daughter is an alcoholic and lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Can you refer me to a Jewish AA meeting she can attend in this area. Or any quality AA meetings in that area. Thank you!

Anonymous,
June 18, 2017 11:33 AM

Replying to your question

Call the nyc aa intergroup 9149491200There are quality aa meetings all over, just try them out, if you like a particular meeting then find another one, unfortunately there are lots of aa meetings today where they don't share on the solution, I have found that big book meetings are usually solid meetings, and open discussion meetings are just plain sick people without a solution email me if you need help sobrietyyizlyf@gmail.com (any 12 steps)

(28)
MrWmA,
November 23, 2014 2:34 AM

Sobriety

I have been sober for 8 months...I am in AA...yes most meetings are in churchs and Christianity is the faith of most.... there has been no pressure on me. I seek my G-d's help but the meetings have been quite helpful for me

(27)
eli,
October 27, 2014 10:20 AM

true origin

Im sorry... the 12 steps are NOT built on any jewish teachings... if we find parallels its a mer coincidence....

ben Yosef,
July 9, 2017 1:52 PM

Why are you sorry?

Why are you sorry? Your comment is factual.

micha,
January 23, 2018 7:54 PM

Christian notions of salvation

12 Step programming comes from the Oxford Group, a missionary organization, and it shows its distinctly Christian roots. The person is taught that they are a sinner, can't be fixed, and has to rely on God to save them.

In Judaism we don't wait for God to remove our shortcomings. We take ownership of the job. In many schools of Jewish thought, self-refinement is the central job of life! We pray to God for help, for success, but not to do it for us.

We have a strong mussar tradition, beyond but including that of Rav Yisrael Salanter. Why not advocate a way back from addiction that is actually based in Jewish teachings?

(26)
Anonymous,
July 19, 2014 12:41 AM

are there any jewish 12 step meetings in south florida?

(25)
Anonymous,
March 13, 2013 10:48 PM

gambling

Due to my extreme emotional distress after my work ceased and my heart was broken(my parents died 3 wks. apart) i had given up. i knew my very best was given to them, but they were gone.
I fell into gambling. i spent all i had, even selling my home and moving across Country to try to get a cure.
I went to a 12 step group for gamblers. my first mtg. was a big disappointment. i had a jewish man confront me. he hurt me with his words but he cared. i have been successful after asking him to be my sponsor. that was 4.5 yrs ago.
12 step programs work and accountability matters. i would not be alive today without this marvelous unity. awesome. i love the 12 step group.
I did it just as much inmynewstste. i

(24)
Tricia,
March 13, 2013 9:54 PM

I would also like to add that Rabbi Twerski holds high regard for The Twelve Step programme and has written many wonderful books..... also, I 'opened' a meeting around 8 years ago for an AA group in The London Jewish Family Centre for 3 years and I must say that they welcomed an AA group there... I would also like to add that through the Twelve Step programme and using the 'tools' ( to the best of my ability) on a daily basis I have,by the grace of G-d been sober since Feb 2002

Anonymous,
July 3, 2016 6:20 PM

Looking for a male Jewish AA group in NW London

Looking for a male Jewish AA group in NW Londonis there still a Jewish AA group running anywhere in NW London

(23)
Anonymous,
March 5, 2013 1:08 AM

Recovery

As a recovering addict and orthodox Jew I thank G-d for NA. The personal intimate relationship I have built with my loving and caring Creator came through non Jews and sitting in churches. Through working the steps it has brought me right back to my Yiddishkeit. I am well aware though there is a danger of floating out on a cloud of religious zeal. Recovery must come first. Our lives depend on it.

(22)
Anonymous,
March 4, 2013 11:59 PM

Yiddeshkeit and the 12-steps tag team to squash porn addiction

I have seen many testimonials from alcoholics, and for me, that is enough for any addict to see that the program really works if you work it. However, I wanted to add my own experience in recovering from porn/sex/lust addiction through Judaism and the 12-steps. I am a baal tshuvah and I mainly started becoming more religious as a defense from my porn addiction that robbed me of my life for many years and countless relationships and opportunities. I had a great deal of success spiritually, but I simply could not gain much ground in the physical abstinence from my drug from yiddeshkeit alone. It was not until I walked into my first Sexaholics Anonymous meeting in April of 2012 that I was able to achieve real-lasting sobriety by gaining valuable tools and coping mechanisms. B'H my sponsor is a Yid and I am always amazed at the amount of observant Jews that are at every meeting, many of them frum Rabbis in observant communities. They all attest to the fear of being found out in their communities that came along with that first meeting. They also attest that, despite many doubts, the 12-steps gave them an added tool in overcoming lust addiction. I and many others suffered from addiction to internet porn. Others would visit massage parlors or prostitutes. Whatever the addiction, SA gave us the support from other real-life people who had done it and were actively doing what none of us thought was possible: a new life free from addiction. It's an ongoing process as "change is a process, not an event," but my quality of life has improved dramatically and continues to improve each and every day. I have had one relapse, but unlike the other countless times I "relapsed," I had the support of my sponsor and fellow addicts to hold me accountable and get back up. I am also a member of the online community "guardyoureyes.org" which is a Jewish tool for breaking free from internet "shmutz." How can we be an eved Hashem when we are captive to our addcitions? May Gd grant us recovery!

(21)
Barbara,
March 4, 2013 4:32 PM

Why are most 12 step programs held in church rooms not synagogues?

AS a Jew I sought recovery in a 12 step program many yars ago. BH I am still abstonate from my addiction. However, I always felt uncomfortable chasing my recovery in churches, and saying the Lords prayer at meetings- which I don't believe is from Judiasm.
How come Jews don't welcome 12 step meetings at Shuls?.

Michael F,
March 7, 2013 3:58 PM

Meetings in shuls

The tendency to engage in "Jewish Geography" runs counter to the requirement of anonymity with regards to these groups. It's too likely that someone will be recognized in a shul.

(20)
Sandie,
March 4, 2013 3:16 AM

Recovery changed my life

On March 1st I celebrated 22 years of recovery from gambling. I do not attend many GA meetings any more as my sponsor died last year. I keep the 12 steps in my heart as they really did save my life. I figured if I continued gambling I would spend my golden years pushing a shopping cart up the Las Vegas strip. I thank G-d for my blessings everyday. Thank you too for this wonderful article.

(19)
Anonymous,
March 3, 2013 10:26 PM

How Profound.

I am an 81 year old Jewish recovering alcoholic. I just celebrated eight years of sobriety. I've always said that the 12 step program is a "recipe" for living life as G-d meant it to be, and should be taught.in elementary school. This article put everything in the right perspective. Living a Jewish life, is, "takeh" a 12 step program. The AA fellowship, worldwide, is the most diverse group worldwide, with one common thread, to live a sober life and help other alcoholics to do the same. I am a very satisfied customer of AA. Thank you for this article.

(18)
J. Langfeld,
March 3, 2013 8:56 PM

YES!

As a Jewish alcoholic I often felt pretty alone at times. But the longer I stayed in those rooms and found and kept coming back, I found that so many of the 12 steps and 12 traditions run parallel to Jewish teachings and that they complement each other nicely. This is the best article I have read on the subject. Bottom line, G-d does for me what I cannot do alone. I would be dead or in jail if not for AA. Finally, it was AA that led me back to my Jewish faith, a faith I had abandoned and lost hope in during my darkest days of alcoholism and addiction.

(17)
Alan levy,
March 3, 2013 7:57 PM

12=steps came from evangelicals

This program was a "non-denominational" adaptation of an evangelical Christian program for spiritual growth started earlier in the century which, of course, was ultimately rooted in many truths found in judaism

(16)
Joel F Peres,
March 3, 2013 4:10 PM

AA & Judaism.

AA has saved my life, Judaism has allowed my soul to live, thrive, and to pass on the concept of a Jewish life and identity to my Son. AA has made me a better Jew, without AA, I would have perished and I would not have been granted the privilege to be a member of the Jewish community that has become my heart and soul. I love both, AA for saving my life, Judaism, for finally becoming my life. By the way, my first sponsor was a Rabbi, who had no clue I am Jewish. No matter what, we have a way of finding each other, even if its in "them rooms." :)

(15)
Yitzchak,
October 27, 2012 6:56 AM

Asking for help

I asked for help on November 29, 1979. That was the date of my last drink. I am a Jewish Alcholic. There is no question of my being Jewish and my being an alcoholic. I had to drink.
Once I asked for help, I was given that help without question by those that had recovered from this disease. This is the point as far as I can see. Alcoholism is a disease. It is not a question of not enough will power. I have always had will power. I had no choice but to drink.
My allergy of the body demanded I drink. So, Jewish will power has nothing to do with a Jew not able to quit. I had to ask a higher power for help to a place where I could use my will power once again.
I was granted that power to live a life without alcohol, provided I no longer put it in my body. The steps are the path of recovery that I as a Jew can do to reach becoming recovered from my hopeless state.
Steps one, two and three release me from that bondage of powerlessness. They also make my connection with G-d open only because I asked for help to do for me something I was not able to do myself.
Steps 4 through 9 allow me to ask for forgiveness for all my wrongs to others. As a Jew my life needs clarity and release from hurtful deeds that I caused. the remaning steps are the continued self growth along with helping others, that as a Jew I need to live by.
If I look at alcoholism as a disease, I have no need to think my problem is a lack of will power or self choice. Once recovered using the steps I have regained my power to live. I have a higher power back in my life and I am aware of both that power and my spiritual connection.
I have soberity for just 32 plus years. I am looking at a long life being a Jew. I am growing and learning in my Jewish life.
I hope that other Jews and non-Jews alike who are aflicted with this disease find what I have found. I can live as a Jew and use the 12 steps as written. I can and have found prayers that work.
Thank you for your writting,
Yitz

Carly,
March 3, 2013 4:57 PM

Thank you for your encouraging testimony,

Thank you for your experience,strength and hope. And mat G d continue to work in and through you .

(14)
Anonymous,
May 28, 2012 11:04 AM

Truthful, concise and beautiful!

This is something I have been looking for and wondering about for years. I've wondered how Judaism and the 12 steps could be intregrated. Now this is the most powerful write-up I've ever seen on the subject

(13)
Anonymous,
September 1, 2011 11:30 AM

one year sober

I am a 30 year old living a wonderful and free life thanks to the fellowship of AA. It true what they say, you do not waltz into recovery with peace in your heart and a smile on your face, but you can acquire these seemingly impossible gifts from the 12 step program. I was not raised with any religious undercurrents in my home, as my parents thought it best for us to make up our own minds. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article and feel there is more than a connection between the twelve step program and Judaism.
12 months on with a 12 step program and there is finally a sense of peace in my heart and a smile on my face. A higher power, God, has definitely restored me to sanity and for that I am ever grateful.

(12)
Anonymous,
November 12, 2010 1:48 AM

recovering from compulsive overeating with the 12 steps has enhanced my Judaism

I am ever so gratful to my 12 step program I have lost over 185 pounds and forged an amazing loving connection to Hashem by allowing Him to do for me ,what I was unable to do for myself.I searched for other solutions and my yiddishkeit has been enhanced by the clarity, freedom, and serenity I have achieved. One day at a time for the rest of my life with Hashem's help. Ain od milvado.

Anonymous,
November 23, 2012 2:05 PM

Amazed by Your Recovery Baruch Hashem

I read your comment-you are an inspiration. How are you doing now? I am in recovery too bh for the last 6 months and see results and still learning one day at a time.

(11)
Anonymous,
November 26, 2009 4:21 PM

Living Life for with the 12 steps

I am so blessed to have found the 12 steps and to have learned to live my life for the first time in over 50 years. With the help of my G-d and loving relationships I have made in the program, especially with my fellow Jews, I have learned that no matter what is going on in my world... I can have peace and serentiy.
The 12 steps has taught me how to have relationships with my G-d, myself and with others in a healthy way.
Addiction is a family disease and can and will affect everyone no matter whether they are the addict... living life based on the 12 steps allows me to be free, not feel the quilt and shame of someone else, and to love no matter what.

(10)
B. Justice,
May 18, 2008 1:34 AM

Religion alone was not enough to recover?!?!

I am a Christian who is in a 12 Step Program, I really loved reading this article. I just would like to add that for many, religion alone was not enough to overcome addiction. There is something powerful/spiritual in one alcoholic/addict helping another to recover. The support and understanding of other recovering people is so very important to lasting sobriety. AA is not a religion but it is spiritual in nature. I just hate to see anyone suffer from the disease of addiction when real help is available. Before making up your mind, just vist a couple meetings then decide for yourself. Based upon first hand knowledge not second hand heresay. Finally, if you have real concerns talk with your Rabi and/or maybe contact the AA central office. I know that there are special meeting open to only certain professions (e.g. Doctors, Lawyers, Nurses, Pilots ect.) Thanks. Sorry for being such an advocate.

(9)
Anonymous,
May 2, 2008 9:30 PM

12 step program for Jews

www.jacsweb.org is the 12 step program for Jews, and there are observant people who belong. I would like to share a prayer by an observant woman named Gilda who included it on the website: I want to share that I found, in the book Fiftieth Gate (Reb Nosson's prayers based on the teachings of Reb Nachman of Breslov) a paragraph that has become a very good third step prayer for me. It reads:

"Grant me inner peace,...Let my body be completely subordinate to my soul and have no other will or desire but to follow the desire of the holy soul, which is to do Your will. Let peace reign between my soul and my body. Let my body be sanctified and purified until it becomes united with the holy soul, and I carry out all Your commandments and do everything You want of me, body and soul, willingly and with great joy.

Let my body and soul unite in love and peace to do Your will sincerely, until I attain complete inner harmony and am ready to order my prayer before You perfectly. Let my prayer rise before You like the incense and perfect sacrifices offered by those who are whole and perfect."

(8)
Anonymous,
May 1, 2008 10:19 AM

Out of the Fog

How wonderful to be Baal Teshuvah. My experience in AA is that reliance on a "Higher Power" has helped me to get sober...I couldn't do it on my own. Most importantly, it's the 12 Steps, having a Sponsor, going to Meetings and the Fellowship of AA that keeps me sober. G-d works through people...and I have to commune with people to reach G-d. I'm out of the "Fog" and grateful.

(7)
jayb,
April 30, 2008 10:58 AM

12 step programs

With 21 years of clean time in the twelve step programs of AA and NA, I would like to just comment that no Jews are losing their souls in AA or NA. There is no contest. Without a "higher power" I would not have stayed clean in this program so long. My "higher power" is Hashem. I refound my soul and Hashem thanks to my program. So I am happy for the Jews who find Hashem in the Steps.

(6)
empyrean,
April 29, 2008 9:39 PM

Discovery then Recovery

The Twelve Step recovery program is often considered, in the beginning, a discovey...to a different way of living. Recovery, the actual living, is working the 12 steps. My work, in recovery over 22 years, has led me to Judaism, which to me, is the tap root to learning how to live according to G-d's Will. Without one, I would never have seen the other. And what is important today, right now, this moment, is that I see...that the study of Torah and the action of mitzvah observance keeps my vision clear. How do I know this? The facts, over three thousand years of rabbinical commentary coupled with the history of the Jewish people...how they live as confirmed by the deeds of their lives teaches me over and over again how to conduct my life on a daily basis.

(5)
Anonymous,
April 29, 2008 6:58 PM

12 step works

I also tried to stop drinking without the help of the fellowship. I would stop for a while on will power alone,only to pick up again. I now have seveteen months in the program,and my life has changed for the better. I go to meetings everyday. I have a sponser. I am on step seven. I do service. I just got a sponsee. I do what is suggested to me,even if I don't feel like I have to. My relationship with G-D and Judisiam is so much better. All in all, I love being completely sober. Not all areas of my life are great,but I can handle everything that comes my way without having to get drunk or high. I can see clearly now. Thank G-D that the 12 step program exists. If it was not for AA I do not know if I would be around to write this. Anyone out there thinking about entering a 12 step program, take it from me ,like they say,it works if you work it.

(4)
GMN,
April 29, 2008 6:29 PM

The 613 Step Program

I'm a dedicated Ivri and I would never dare look anywhere but in the Torah for help. I found it, and and I'm recovering and thriving without AA or any other program. My answer is from Hashem. I'm very sad that there are jews that are losing their souls to AA.

Yitzchok,
March 4, 2013 8:58 PM

Recovery is absolutely kosher

I have been in recovery for almost a year. I am a sexaholic. my recovery comes from SA meetings and phone meeting through Guard Your Eyes- an organization for those Jews who are inordinately challenged by lust. I am observant. I have found NOTHING to be against Torah in recovery, quite the opposite. Everything I have seen in recovery has a source in Torah, as far as I can tell. Recovery is kosher. Staying stuck as an addict is the non-kosher problem.!

(3)
Catherine Manna,
April 29, 2008 11:29 AM

very good article thank you

This is a good article and thank you.This proves again, and again, that we cannot live without the wisdom and guidance of our creator.and that we should always try to emulate his way. Because he made us in his image. He is holy there fore we must strive to be like him clean moral and ethical. And when we for some reason cannot or when we are not, then we can look upon him to help us strengthen us to make us perfected to achieve this level of Holiness we were meant to have with him. I believe that we need God to do this. WHen we dont put God into our lives we fill it with everything else, including addictions, filling the spiritual need of God and his guidance, through TOrah would fill that need and then we can break free of any addictions...God = TorahTorah+God=complete love and lifethank you Catherine

(2)
Anonymous,
April 29, 2008 9:36 AM

REPLY TO ANONYMOUS REGARDING JUDAISM AND OA

DEAR ANONYOUS, PERHAPS THE REASON WHY MUSSAR ALONE WAS NOT ENOUGH LIES IN THE FOLLOWING REASON. I PRESUME THAT YOU WENT TO OA MEETINGS. A KEY ASPECT TO OA SUCCESS, LIES IN THE FACT THAT IT TAKES PLACE IN A GROUP SETTING. THIS GREATLY ENHANCES THE INDIVIDUAL TO MOTIVATE HIMSELF AND TOGETHER WITH THE 12 STEP PROGRAM HE CAN BRING HIMSELF TO CHANGE. THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT TRYING TO CHANGE BY FOLLOWING THE 12 STEP PROGRAM ALONE WOULD NOT BE AS SUCCESSFUL AS WITHIN A GROUP. IN FACT THE REAL MUSSER SCHOOLS OF OLD ALSO RELIED ON A SYSTEM OF GROUPS, WHERE EACH PERSON WOULD REVEAL HIS SUCCESSES AND FAILURES TO THE OTHERS. TODAY THIS FORM OF LEARNING MUSSER IS NOT PRACTICED AND THEREFORE ONE NEEDS ALOT MORE MOTIVATION. THERE MIGHT BE OTHER REASONS AS WELL, BUT THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ONE.

Anonymous,
August 22, 2016 7:19 PM

You know, I think you may be right! I never thought of that! Indeed, mussar schools WERE in groups. Thank you for that idea!Ironically, what helped me challenge the fear/reluctance of the idea of attending meetings "for the rest of my life," was reframing the meeting as a "mussar vaad." Mussar vaadim (groups) do indeed still exist nowadays, although they are hard to find. I know there are some in Israel. A few years ago I signed up to be notified if any mussar vaadim open in my community, but haven't heard anything. So here's my mussar vaad, I guess.

Btw, for anyone who is searching for help, here is info on some lesser-known 12-step fellowships, which have been helpful to me personally:Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) - also for children of other types of dysfunctional families, this fellowship helps people accept their feelings and love themselves, and restore sanity to their relationships. Also generally focuses on helping the "Adult Child" grow up and take responsibility for himself.Underearners Anonymous (UA) - for people who are chronically underearning or underperforming or underbeing, not being what they could be, who go on "time wasting binges", they often have a fear of success, etc.Bracha v'hatzlacha!

(1)
Anonymous,
April 29, 2008 5:51 AM

Judaism and OA

I am an Orthodox Jew and my life was changed and enhanced by OA. I realize that there is nothing in the 12 steps that contradicts Judaism, but it always bothered me that I couldn't get to recovery with Judasim alone, and I nedded OA to improve my conatct with G-d. You related to this in your article, but I still feel that I don't have a full answer. Why can't I get to recovery by reading the wealth of Jewish literature and practicing what I read?

I’ve been dating a young woman for the past two years and we are starting to think about marriage. The problem is that she is not Jewish. I would want her to convert, but in a way where there would be no doubt about its validity, so that we and our kids don’t have problems later on. How do you recommend that I proceed?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I appreciate your desire to do the right thing and proceed in an authentic way.

The process of conversion is challenging and involves a process of a year or two. This benefits the person converting, to ensure he fully appreciates the responsibilities he is taking on.

According to the Code of Jewish Law (Shulchan Aruch), a valid conversion replicates the experience at Mount Sinai of 3,300 years ago, when the Jewish nation accepted the Torah. For your friend to convert, she must:

believe that Judaism is the true religion, not just accept it by default

study what it says in the Torah

commit to observe all the Torah's commandments

Further, a conversion must be motivated for the sincere purpose of getting close to God and His Torah, not for ulterior motives. Thus, your friend would have to embrace Judaism and the Torah for its own sake, not in order to marry you. She should have the exact same desire to convert even with you entirely out of the picture.

If your friend studies Judaism and feels it is right for her, she would then approach an Orthodox conversion court and explain her situation. The court would then decide if it feels she is a sincere candidate for conversion. If yes, she would begin the lengthy process of studying and practicing to become a true convert.

Of course, to have a successful relationship, you will also need a high level of appreciation and commitment to Judaism. Perhaps you could begin your own study program to discover how Torah values enhance our lives and form the bedrock of civilization.

You should endeavor to live near a Jewish community which has adult education programs, rabbis you can consult with, Shabbat hospitality programs, etc.

In 1273 BCE (Jewish year 2488), Moses completed his farewell address to the Jewish people, and God informed Moses that the day of his death was approaching (Deut. 31:14). Amazingly, the anniversary of Moses' completing his teaching coincides with the date in 1482 of the first printing of the standard format used for Jewish Bibles today: vowel signs, accents, translation (Targum), and Rashi commentary.

Lack of gratitude is at the root of discontent. In order to be consistently serene, we must master the attribute of being grateful to the Creator for all His gifts. As the Torah (Deuteronomy 26:11) states, "Rejoice with all the good the Almighty has given you." This does not negate our wanting more. But it does mean that we have a constant feeling of gratitude since as long as we are alive, we always have a list of things for which to be grateful.

[Solomon] was wiser than all men (I Kings 5:11), even wiser than fools (Midrash).

What does the Midrash mean by "wiser than fools"?

A man of means was once a Sabbath guest at the home of the Chofetz Chaim. He insisted upon paying the sage in advance for the Sabbath meals - an insulting demand. To everyone's surprise, the Chofetz Chaim accepted the money.

After the Sabbath the Chofetz Chaim forced the guest to take the money back. He explained, "Had I refused to accept the money before the Sabbath, the thought that he was imposing upon me might have distracted from the man's enjoying the spirit of the Sabbath. Although it was foolish of him to feel this way, I wished to put his mind at rest."

Not everyone thinks wisely all the time. Some people have foolish ideas. Yet if we oppose them, they may feel they have been wronged. Insisting on the logic of our own thinking may not convince them in the least. In such instances, it may require great wisdom to avoid offending someone, yet not submitting to his folly.

By accepting his guest's money, knowing that he would return it to him after the Sabbath, the Chofetz Chaim wisely accommodated this man's whim without compromising on his own principles.

A wise person may be convinced by a logical argument, but outsmarting a fool truly requires genius.

Today I shall...

try to avoid offending people whom I feel to be in the wrong, without in any way compromising myself.

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