Reflections

Listening alone doesn't make us vulnerable. We are vulnerable only when we listen with the thought in mind we will remove from our being the beliefs we discover that prevent us from connecting with another. http://www.thelastwhy.ca/poem/

Just this morning, in thinking about how to handle a recent conflict with a friend, I realized that the key was to listen to the emotions, not the words. It's easy to get entangled in a verbal competition that has nothing to do with what's happening underneath. So to stay attuned to what's motivating the words while letting the barbed ones roll off can be a way to just stop the need for defense and competition, the need to win the argument. I think it's a way of putting love first. It's a way of saying, without words, "Yes, there are these disagreements, this pain, this clash of wills. And here I am with you, accepting you in the midst of it."

I especially liked what Krista said about hoping that she would be able to listen in a way that would enable her guests to express something they themselves hadn't put words around before. Listening is not passive. It creates and enables.