I went out last Saturday, with a buddy of mine and a other gay-friend of mine. Before going out they both warned me to not do any game stuff, and be myself. I was like okay, I'm going to be fun and the likes.

Start

It was a cool start, we kinda wandered around the city and I “try” to make eyecontact with girls. However not a lot of girls look at me. I began questioning myself am I ugly, why do woman not look at me. I hear all these great things about presence, masculinity, friendly smile. I adjust and do these things externally but I don't get a reaction, or I don't see it maybe I'm blind.

Everything was quite empty still when we arrived. I split up for a second with my budds to go to a friend of mine who was Djing(albeit a empty room) I still think it was awesome. I chatted a bit with him, and I asked him to explain me about the DJ-turntabel etc. Was cool, got to learn something there.

I broke off, and followed my way back to my buddys. They went to a cafe, which can be considered alternative but the people in there are generally really friendly and non-judgemental. I had fun, I tried to apply some principles I learned in my coaching call.

I looked around my immediate area, and I cheered a guy with my glass of beer(BEER OMG!). It was a real cool convo, and I saw my gay friend being isolated so I included him and introduced eachother.

Social mindset, it was cool to merge groups.

However after that some cute girls began drippling in, and I began losing my social mindset.

There was a group of 6 across the room(about 8 steps wide)... but those 8 steps looked like the green mile, long horrendous. I began getting in my head, and getting excuses. My state dropped to 0, and it began to freeze. I never opened them and they left......

Second bar

Was fun, we saw a other guy we know DJ(lol I know a lot of Djs). Was very cool music, the place was called “Motown” and it's classical motown music, very chilled and very black hahaha.

I went to talk to the DJ, but I was totally zoned out after that. I was “trying for eyecontact” while there were some damn cute girls next to me, and across me and behind me. I didn't open any of them!

I got frustrated.... slowly but surely angry at myself. Fighting this resistance, was making it even worse. But ofcourse, you don't remember that “yet” in such situation.

Third bar

Well basicly, I didn't find it fun at all. And I actually managed to be so boring and not fun. I made it not fun for my 2 buddy's. I was enormously pissed at myself. And it reflected on the mood of my budds. So I went home. And at home I was angry, frustrated and crying at the same time. I went outside and fucking screamed like a madman. That really felt as a relieve....

Focus points

1.Fear of escelation in any form
2.External validation(Eye contact)
3.Why don't I just say hi?

13/10/2009 FR: Train ride.

Can't even call this a FR.

Sat across a girl in the train, I was looking at her and I could clearly see her fidgeting but not looking back. She was shy.... and I didn't say Hi.... she left the train, and I broke my own hearth.

Why didn't I open her logcially I was thinking it's weird, there's a girl right to me and a dude next to me. I felt so weird, I wanted say hey... your cute what's your name.

I didn't do it, I felt relaxed how-ever. But I didn;t do it, fun times are gone now with that girl.

So today was a good day, had philosophy class and we got together in groups. I was figuring out what kind of social experiment I could do today in class.

I decided to try and work on my eyecontact, I read a little experiment somewhere.

It basicly goes as following

You hold eyecontact with the girl your attracted to, despite other people talking.The results were pretty cool, the longer I looked at her the more eye-contact/frequency she put back. I can see how this is very powerful in night game and a set to explain non-verbally. It's deffinately something I'm going to try out Friday and/or Saturday

Hesitation
After the rest of the schoolday went by, I went to my train. I saw a cute blonde standing alone, and there was a cute turkish girl next to me. I hesitated in openening them, I really want to use direct game. But I feel awkward when people can here me talking like that.

Train ride

In the train I said fuck-it and I opened a 2-set after they where laughing very loudly. Had a short interaction with them, I tried some tension techniques I learned from 60years of challenge(See woman are tension AFCs). It really helps to put pressure on the interaction, for example.

You ask a question that is "closed", you just hold your stare... and after a while she will reply and give in to your frame(for example saying WHAT, or Begin laughing nervously or anything other just to break the tension.

I want to play around with it more.

I did how-ever kill the interaction soon, because I didn't push it. I tried to kino on her, and she accepted non-verbally she was mad verbally ;)

Other then that, a other guy got involved and he was really chill. Might go-out with him sometime, he's a real networker :)

Hey man keep pushing your boundaries. I admire you honesty when you write but you need to hold yourself to a very high standard, meaning don't allow yourself to cop out. Approach 3 different women every day even if all you can do is say 'Hi'. I find the three second rule helps. It doesn't let me sit there an analyze whether she has a boyfriend or whether she wants to talk to me or not.

Don't worry about hesitation and being afraid of rejection. You will always have to deal with it.

I've been collecting and working on my inner game for a while now and I've written this article mainly for myself.... to achieve less self-doubts, stronger frames and any good that can come out of it. It's about accepting yourself, and seeing why some inner game techniques are more prone to failure and effefiency infield.

I do however like to have FEEDBACK on this article, although I do not care if you will... I hope this helps you in your way, and I WILL work on it, but I do not see it as a magic PILL.

It's another VIEWPOINT and TOOL, to acces your BEINGNESS / ARENESS of the CORE, YOU already are.

This posts will contain my first serie of INNER game techniques, and I will explain MORE and probably EXPAND it in the future.

p.s DO note these are techniques I HAVE used, and the last one is my NEW viewpoint on INNERGAME.

-Bjorn89

Mode - Pallitations
The first thing you can do is what Elbert Ellis calls “Pallitation”, and that is to work to change your inadequacies. Notice in all the things your ashame for, your daming yourself for your inadequacies or other

Thoughts –> Your not good enough to be loved, your not good enough to be marvelous at something.

Plan of action → You can work on these inadequacies, go to the Gym, eat right, you can discipline yourself, do sports, study, take cosmetic chirgery etc.

But that's harder because → you will always beat yourself down and compare yourself to others.... OH SHIT I'm a loser because XYZ I don't have this achieved.....

Next mode

Mode - Derivations

These are techniques such as Yoga, Medidation, Positive Thinking, Being busy, Imaginative Techniques.

They break you from thinking about adequate you are.

Explanation of above techniques

1.Meditation,Yoga, Being busy → Self-explenatory
2.Imaginative Techniques(These are the techniques where you close your eyes, and imagine(calming scenes) white beaches relaxed sounds etc etc also called “Psychosynthesis”)
3.Positive Thiking (These are mostly “reframing” techniques) such as, you think that you clearly suck at something → Applying positive reframing, you would look at it this way → I'm getting a little bit better each time I practice it

The trouble with these techniques
The trouble with these techniques are, they can temporaily fix your feeling of inadequacy. They can get you away from feelings that you get, thinking how inadequate you are. They do work to a certain extent, however they are temporarily fixes from feeling ashamed/inadequate. Another point to argue these techniques are only useable to a certain extent is that, these techniques can easily be broken again. Imagine yourself going into a train, and/or getting out of a yoga position and back to daily life!

Another Mode – Question the assumptions your ashamed
It's a way to question the things that you feel ashamed of. And argue if they are truly something to be ashamed of or not.

Example
Question if you are doing things wrongly or poorly, now sometimes this is the wrong question to ask. Most of the times, it has no clear evidence behind it. For example you say “I masturbate 20 times a week, and THATS BAD. Now is this bad or good? If you look at it, the only thing you can say about it is that you can only say the fact is you masturbate 20 times a day. IF you look at the things your ashamed of, you can easily see that the reasoning is flawed and that they are not real facts.
Another example is that certain people are ashamed you have certain thoughts, and ofcourse these can very bizarre, these can easily be some lulu's or phantasy's you've been going around in your head. While your fucking or masturbating and you go like → OMG, what a bizarre phantasy how awfull!But in this technique, you question “WHY IS THIS SUCH A BIZARRE PHANTASY?” But your neightbour or people you know might have these or even more weird Phantasy's. The technique is to question these thoughts if they're really bad, moral bad or no good. This ofcourse also applies to non-sexual thoughts, and considered evil. For example, killing your own mother... now while these thoughts cannot be judged bad or good. Actually killing your mother is not the greatest thing in the world. But it's actually a common shared thought.

Mode – Philosophical Attacks

The essence of shame is not that you think your poorly at something, but that you “must, need, ought too” need various peoples love and approval. You need to proof yourself too 10's, even 100's of people to feel not ashamed anymore.

Way 1 to Attack
The first way lies there-in to be “anti-perfectionistic”, and that is to accept the fact that you DO make errors, and your prone to that. And your a pallible fucked up human like the rest of us, you will and always have a inadequecy because your human, with the exception of jezus ... and see what happened to him ;)

You have very little chance to achieve perfection, and you can ask yourself the important question “Why the fuck do I need to be perfect?” do this as much as possible, until you consistently get the answer “I don't have to be anything” and “maybe it would be nice if I would be perfect, → I can do all kinds of stuff I can't do now”, but do you really want that? Who the fuck would be your friend, lover etc... people would feel inadequate with you

Another part of this is called “Anti-self raping”

Because shame is a result of your own EGO, self raping..... this is basicly saying because my “ performance is good that's why I am good. This is saying that your performance thinks for you

So what you can Practice here is Anti-Ego..... ask yourself Why do I have to proof myself? and that not only means “Why must I always do well, and why am I shit if I do not do well” But also practice ANTI-Pride, because the opposite of Shame is ofcourse Pride it's a very destructive feeling, they are interlinked to each other and you need to give up both. Pride means, I did XYZ “ Beautifully, marvously, exceptionally” and therefore I am Noble, Godlike, Pure etc → you allow yourself to say “I am a great person”.

The question that ofcourse rises is “Well, if I give up pride and shame, should I sit on my ass all day?” and not do anything. The Answer
You should desire to achieve things for the right reason. As argued before Pride and Shame are interlinked with the NEED for achievement → if I don't “I'm no good”.... if you give up the “I HAVE TOO” you go right back to the basic and that's the “DESIRE to”.... the questions and statements will arrise as the following I'd like too achieve XYZ(I'd like to be a unique indiviual, I'd like to fuck a lot of girls, I'd like to follow my dreams, ambitions etc.... which basicly comes down too “I want → I like → I do → these things for ENJOYMENT, for a MORE pleasurable EXISTENCEAND. NOT to PROOF myself, and not to show YOUR A WORTHWHILE BEING on one HAND, and ON THE OTHER HAND YOUR NOT YOU WANT TO-DO THIS FOR THE RIGHT REASON TO FUCKING ENJOY YOURSELF, HAVE A BLAST ETC. AND NOT the NEED FOR ACHIEVEMENT, NEED FOR RECOGNITION, not even to feel a sense of “ME”.... you want this because you want it to ENJOYYYY your EXISTENCE more.... and not proof that once you get off this life I was a worthy human being..... ofcourse there's also a other side of the coin.... and it means the Shit side of the coin and that means NO matter HOW BAD you DO, no matter how POORLY you are.... no matter how many PEOPLE do NOT care for you... or say “Your the worst indiviual people have ever met... NEVER down YOU.... [I] this does not mean, you can't get feedback on your ACTS(DOING).... and IMPROVE those. This does not mean you down YOURSELF... because you acted BADLY.... not SELF-doubting... no SELFBLAME of any KIND... this also means you don't DAMN OTHERS, and OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.... YOU CAN HOWEVER give FEEDBACK on their ACTIONS(Which have a set of good rules to give good feedback)..... and ofcourse add a WHY you think they gave a bad PERFORMANCE(ACTING)... and you say “I don't like you DOING XYZ, because X,Y,Z causes TROUBLE to YOU,ME,WORLD etc... give REASONS, DO NEVER DOWN THEM.... otherwise you think of them as “SLOBS, LESSER PEOPLE, RATS etc”... and sooner or later you tend to DOWN YOURSELF.... NEVER DOWN ANY HUMAN BEING FOR ANY REASON.... ofcourse this is a HARDLINE to follow, and YOU WILL HAVE MOMENTS YOU DONT FOLLOW IT..... but in the END it'll result in not DOWNING YOURSELF ANYMORE... which is ofcourse CRAZY.... you will still DAMN other human beings, which ofcourse is SAD... but your still a HUMAN BEING.... I'm not telling you SHOULD follow my ways, because if you think about it that way you can EASILY say “I should not because I told you not TOO” and condemn yourself AGAIN. I'm just saying it would be BETTER... if you work against those negative feelings. And if you MAKE a slippery mistake... justl ook at it as a ERROR... now ask yourself WHEN am I GOING to CORRECT this ERROR.... and see your ASSESING this persons individual PERFORMANCE and not his BEING. SO you WORK and WORK on this, until it's STUCK..

Then the Next thing is
Expanding on the previous is to learn to ACCEPT yourself UNCONDITIONALLY, without any CONDITIONS whatsoever, dispite WILLFULL responsibility's... and MORAL ethics... as you remember not a lot of your ACTS are willfully, responsible etc... because sometimes you can't do ANYTHING else then HARMING others.... or you were BORN with a abnormality so you do actually HARM eachother(For example a enormously large penis :P)... or for example you have a very IRRITATING VOICE(Raspberry).... and people CRINGE at hearing your voice.... your better not BLAME yourself BECAUSE you MAYBE be able to change it(through speech lessons) but maybe it's a function in your BEING/Phsioglogy and you WILL speak that way.... you don't have to ASSUME responsibility to a lot of these KIND of ABNORMALITIES...

To be continued.....

Sources
Elbert Ellis Ph.D – Clinical Psychologist and founder of RETT(the base of CBT)
Eckhart Tolle – Writer of the Power Of Now
Devon White – Installing Inner Game – And all of his INNER GAME products

And more and various articles here and on other places...

PLEASE DO PM ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS... about it OR state it HERE in this TOPIC

My buddy was like let's chill at home, I'm like let's go for a fucking drink. So we both went out to this bar, and had some drinks. I'm like okay I'm here to have fun, not to pick-up chicks(big fallacy I've been having lately), I was trying to be present with myself and the envoirment. Which was pretty well working.

And I didn't really cold approach, I however did have some short interactions, VERY short ones.

I saw a old classmate of mine, and said Hey, what's up... "BOOM IGNORED". I was like hmmm okay, not going to plow through this shit cba. Second one, was a girl who bumped into me(I saw this as her being interested)... I said, wow arent you dangerous one.

She looked at me like I just painted my face with a big, fuck you on it.... and ignored me?!?! I was like okay.

Third interaction, was with a classmate who is currently in my class, she's chilled very social she came talk to me had a short interaction for 5 minutes, but I'm not really interested in her sexually.

I saw two girls sitting at a table, and one was really cute.... I procrastinated, and they went out.... and I lost them, damn should've just opened them, they actually looked kinda inviting.

Last SET

We were on our way home, to chill out at my buddy's dorm, when he saw a guy he knew talking to 2 German chicks. One was well pretty fat, but the other one was pretty cute for my taste i'd say a 7 orso(little pudgy but cute face). She was all over me instantly, and very giggly etc(probably drunk), they were like come party with us etc etc. However we already had an appointment with a friend of ours to hang out.. so we stayed in set, I ran off a bit with her(should've closed her there now I think of it), but I didn't. I think my EGO came back, and said WHY would you want to CLOSE her.... she's litterly gaming you. (Now I recall it, lol). We went home.... and I never got my dick sucked last Friday, which is too bad.

Sorry for the shitty FR, but I don't really feel like eleborating on this stuff ATM.

Lessons learned
1.Open, Open, Open....
2. Stop the fuck listening to your friends, about "GAME". My buddy was saying, stop being pick-up mode etc. I wanted to smash him, and say he should encourage me the dick, he actually hold me back(argh... I did hold myself back, because I listened to him)
3. Close WHEN POSSIBLE(Sometimes Ho's before Bro's?)

Was chilling whole day listened to Sphinx of Imagination and some stuff by Devon White, fucking fell asleep 2x when I was in trance. Fun experience ;)

Went out to my buddy's dorms and chilled a bit there... got a call from a other guy who is semi-active in the scene and he went out with us(cool I meet people over forums, and some are creepy as hell some are awesome).

After some hesitation, some laughter and a two state pump excercises with my natural buddy we went out. Bicycle time.

Set 1 - Bicycle Set – No go
Saw 2 cute girls on the bicycle, but they where clearly 14 orso, I felt kinda weird but I did want to open them LMAO, purely as a warm up set.

Didn't do it though, maybe for the better :)

Went to this bar called “The Splinter”, it's a alternative bar I think I mentioned it before in a post. Saw some familiar faces there and I met some new girls, one girl was uberhorny and wanted to get fucked. But she had really short hair, and I hate girls who have short hair... I think it's so damn ugly. If she'd had longer hair I probably considered trying to pull her or escelate. Other then that, she was very nice and had some usual Playfull banter/Cocky and funny with her.

She was looking at my shirt(which has these big-ass letters on it), and it really screams READ MY SHIRT... so she tried to-do that and I just said, hey... stop undressing me with your clothes... and she kinda flirted back by pulling her bra up, I took her shirt abit forward and said.

Hmm, you have hard nipples... she laughed I laughed good times. Should I fucked her dispite my standards? I don't know, maybe... but nahh ;)

After that, we went to a other party which was held at a place which regurlary holds concerts etc. Some other people texted me to come over, and we went there.

Enter the “Peron 55(Which means basicly Station 55, in English).

8 euro's of entree money fuck that, I need to learn how-to get in more cheapely.

Self-amusement deluxe, bought a ticket and let the check-in girl stamp my forhead, hahaha I thought it was funny.

Went inside, empty as fuck. Only 2 CUTE girls(atleast 8) and one avarage 7. I didn't feel like gaming so I socialised a bit with the other guys, and we had some fun designing these stupid dances(Ever tried dancing with your legs full on straight, and tensioned... looks retarded but it's fun haha). Night went along, met some new people through “social circle”. Which was cool, I think I met about 5-8 new people this night( I clearly need to remember their names somehow). Had a lot of fun, then the band/electro dj came and we began moshing into each other... I felt some sort of ANIMAL surge coming up... feeling like destroying the fucking room. I felt ALIVE, like a motherfucker.
Sparks of nimbus? I don't know, I felt centered I did some Awareness/Presence excercises to become more aware. Had even more fun.

Skip..... fun times, drinks hi how are you etc etc.

Stop... continue story.
Went outside, to talk to my budds because they went for a smoke, some fun stuff little convo etc.

I said there where 2 cute girls, I want to speak to them before going home.

BAM, went in hesitated friend pushed in my back(thanks for that) walked towards them... tick tick... turn around, she felt a moment of awkard or it was a shit-test NO IDEA.... stick out my hand... no response, made a COME HERE command with my hand(YEAH MORTAL COMBAT). She came... danced a bit with her, leant in... state dropped fuck... I went interview mode deluxe.... She was 18 looked like fucking 16. My opening line was something, Hey I'm Bjorn, I thought you where cute... I wanted to meet you, what's your name. She told me had a little fluff talk(about 2 minutes), I didn't believe she was 18....I told her to show her ID to me (dont have it). Lost my intentions of desire, lost dominance, went analytical monkey brain and became mr.interview guy.... I blew myself out

I NEVER FELT SO FUCKING ALIVE, my buddy's where like yeah awesome I'm like aww well, I expanded my comfort zone.... opening is nothing..... I should do it more often.

What I learned

1.Physical openers deluxe
2.Stay in set, and push no matter what(if she opens)
3.Involve her girlfriend
4.Open open open.....
5.Chill out and socialise not go for seduction only, have fun :)(I don't know how many times I need to re-realise this one)

Maybe I should do a write-up of my FRs and other stuff at the end of the day ;)

FR 20/10/2009 - Philosophy girl

Cool, 12 o'clock going home with a positive review of our for a class in my college. Good times, although I was already happy no matter what.

Was waiting for the bus to-go to the station, a classmate of mine said hi in a weird way(he was like standing next to me, and just walked against me slowly... and pushing me a bit).
I was a bit startled haha, he was like a ninja coming up. Oh well, I could deffo laugh about it :D

Train times

Just chilled with my classmate, chitchatted a bit untill he started doing some sodoku puzzles and games in the newspaper. I was like okay, let's see what's up around here in the train... I saw a girl from my philsophy course, so I was like let's go sit next to her...

After about 2-4 minutes of discussing with my mind. I went like, fuck you mind.... let's talk to her. Jumped up and walked towards her, It was so funny when I decided to start walking my anxiety just dissapeared.
Had a very fun conversation.

Happens out that she was studying Swedish, because her boyfriend lives in Sweden(There's something magical about sweden e?). Was fun to talk to her, but after I heard she had a boyfriend in Sweden I completely lost interest in her. Because I think any guy deserves a cool girl like her, especially ones who invest time in them, and on the other hand... I'd probably wouldn't break up anything if there's a strong bond :).

I learned some cool personal stuff, and we laughed. I now realise you don't have to be mr seduction mode always, although I do intergrate alot of stuff lately.

- Strong Eyecontact no matter with whom
- I get more and more tuned intto my body and more relaxed
- When I start walking, most of my anxiety dissapears(I guess this is finnaly a combination of 1. Taking right action 2. Using CBT/Sedona and Hypnosis regularly to enhance my thoughts patterns, and scramble negative ones and last but not least... I began asking myself "how can I make this fun(Thanks Tim).