Here are a few questions to ponder. Would you let a 2 year old drive a car? Would you let a child play with matches? Would you throw someone who has never been swimming into 20-foot deep water without a life raft? Would you let a teenager perform brain surgery? Of course you would not, you say. It would be dangerous and irresponsible.

Following this reasoning, would you send a brand new Christian/Messianic to a pagan or a Satanist for guidance? Certainly not, the very idea. Yet, it has been my observation that some groups in the Christian polygamy community appear to do just this sort of thing. It would seem that there are some who align themselves with anyone who is poly-positive, regardless of their philosophical position or spiritual beliefs.

When I was very new to this concept, and researching extensively on the subject, I visited many sites on the net and talked to many people. As a Christian/Messianic, I was looking for scriptural validation of it and insight into the lifestyle, so I visited the sites presented as Christian. Imagine my surprise when I found links to pagan and new age polyamory sites and links to blatantly deviant sexually oriented sites whose common denominator was that they were pro-polygamous. I could not then, nor can I now understand the reasoning behind such association. I suppose the motivation was to direct people to other pro-poly resources, but I ask again. Would you send a baby Christian to a Satanist?

We in the Christian polygamy community need to remember that the principle of patriarchal polygamy is but a part of our belief structure and lifestyle. An immensely important part, surely, but a partial picture only. The overriding interest of any Christian/Messianic should be to witness the Gospel and as witnesses we are charged to “walk it like we talk it” as it were. The primary goal here is salvation, ours and those we witness to.

As a group of people attempting to present the concept of Christian/Messianic polygamy to the world at large, we face some huge hurdles. Misconceptions and cultural biases, particularly in the west, hamper our witness and cause credibility problems. There are those who will link us with cultists and sexual deviants in spite of our best efforts at education and fellowship. How much more will they do so if we align ourselves with the very groups whose images we are trying to negate? How can we present as devout people living a blessed and Godly lifestyle when we ourselves associate ourselves with those who are diametrically opposed to said lifestyle? What have we to do with pagans and sexual deviants? Do you see the dilemma?

We are charged to be in the world but not of it, separate, in scripture. We are also told that light cannot abide in the dark. Those of us who love and serve Elohim (God) and who are presenting Christian/Messianic polygamy to the public for their education and edification need to keep these two concepts in mind. Just because a group or individual espouses polygamy, it does not necessarily follow that it is profitable to associate with that group or individual in support of our own cause. Again, if an individual or group is poly-positive but is spiritually anathema to what we believe, the association does far more harm than good. For instead of promoting the concept of Christian/Messianic polygamy, we are in fact promoting beliefs and value structures that are in reality opposed to what we claim to believe. Would it not seem logical that would cast some doubt on our own credibility? If we must swim upstream on this journey, lets do not help the world build a dam to further impede our progress.

I have not mentioned any names or named any sites because it is not the intent of this piece to do an exposé. Instead it is a call to those of us involved in Christian/Messianic polygamy to use some discernment in our associations, particularly our public associations, with others. May we be wise as serpents and gentle as lambs.