Also, the body may contain only 55 words or fewer, and the title may contain up to 7.

Some of these bend the rules a little, but I try not to let it come between us. These are too short to node separately, so when I think of more I'll just add them here. Also, they're roughly in order of how good I think they are, so stop reading as soon as you stop liking them.

It began as the Romantic Robot, and was later the center of great public confusion and uproar when it was marketed as the Ro-Bot. Rather than change the name back, they just took out the hyphen and slapped an orifice onto all the other robots. Everyone was pretty happy with that.

Being poor but very much in love with Ethel, and knowing how much she loved jewelry, Alister cut off his legs from the knees down and sold them for a beautiful gold ring. Ethel, in a similar situation, cut off her hands and sold them for a stunning pair of leather shoes.

After the Nuclear War

"Jenny, remember when you said that you'd help me repopulate the Earth if we were the only two left alive?"

"Yeah, I lied," replied Jenny, casually plunging a knife into her chest. Adam looked around at the piles of canned food lining the dimly lit shelter, and thought to himself, "well, crap."

Having offended the deity of sandwiches with my claim of having created the best sandwich, I'd found myself surrounded by a dour-looking pantheon and a nervous mortal audience as the judges prepared to taste the competing creations....

And, actually, that was the worst part. Afterwards, the only real conclusion we came to was that we should do it more often. Mmm, mmm!

"Well, I killed your husband like you asked, now will you marry me?" asked Tony, the sack in his arms falling to the ground with a wet thud. "Of course, darling, nothing can come between our love now," said Alicia, knowing that she had Gunther to fall back on next when this marriage turned sour.

"Also, you were spurned by a man wearing a coat with decorative buttons. No...cufflinks. They were blue."

Liza stared. "Well, okay, that was pretty good."

The Gun Hidden Behind the Mantelpiece

"Now, Prime Minister," said the nefarious turncoat, reaching towards the mantelpiece behind him, "if you’ll just hand over the deed to the country, you can be on your way, and I can escape to the helipad! Now- what- I could have sworn I put it in there!" And things only went downhill from there.

Grolx, Eater of Planets

I am Grolx, a sentient organism so large that I must consume entire planets for sustenance. Unfortunately, over the course of my lifetime I have consumed many other sentient races, which have evolved to survive in my bowels and give me indigestion out of spite.