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LONG BLOG

I don't even know if this is going to be worth reading. I'm not going to mince words, I'm emotionally affected by the subject matter of this post. I'm hurt. And I'm going to use lots of colorful language, loads of hyperbole, and I'm going to try to be constructive about my level of upset. Please pardon my venting, I'll try my best to make sure it's at least an interesting read.

Over the weekend, IGN (in)famously broke the news that The Last Guardian had been canceled. The game was done for, and the thing that captured so many imaginations (mine, too) was no more. Then, Scott Rohde, Software Product Development Head for Sony Worldwide Studios America, Tweeted how this simply wasn't the case. The stage was set for E3 to be the long-awaited next showing of a game that needed its day to come.

And for as great as the show was, and for all of the great things they showed...The Last Guardian was not part of it.

Imagine the feeling of a kid left out in the rain, their parents forgetting them after soccer practice in a torrent that magnified the sadness with every drop, multiplied by every second passed. Or someone special to you completely forgetting your birthday. Picture the abject disappointment that person must feel, the loneliness, the isolation, the feeling that your wants, needs and desires just aren't fucking important enough for anyone else to give a damn.

Like I said, it's gonna get hyperbolic. But I feel like that right about now, or at least as close to those things as not seeing a videogame you've waited eight long years for can approximate. You could say the same thing for Half-Life 3, and you'd be right - except for the fact that HL3 has never been officially announced or had footage shown for the game in question. TLG had both. It's much more cruel that way, to be honest.

See, I think they missed out on a golden opportunity, here. This was their chance. This was the time to have shown off something that Microsoft and Nintendo just weren't capable of doing. This is the time to stop showing the remastered games and the sequels, and show off something that's been cooking for almost a decade. I mean, God Of War fans have seen seven (yes, fucking seven) titles in that series. Killzone, four (on consoles). Shit, even Uncharted just got a fourth game announced (at the point of the show where TLG should have been, no less).

The Last Guardian? We get reassured that the game still exists. Again. No video. No teaser. Nothing at all. No sign of life. Just a "sorry I couldn't make it, but I'll be there next year, for sure" from someone who's been absent every year running for almost a whole goddamn decade. And who wants to wait on someone like that, really?

Sony fucked up. Plain and simple. You can't even use the "we're waiting for TGS" excuse, because the Japanese are more concerned with mobile games than anything else. Consoles and their AAA titles are still alive and well in the West, and when you consider that wowing those audiences can provide fiftyfold (is that even a word - fuck it, it is now) the sales number compared to the Japanese market at the very least, and not advertising something long-awaited and totally unique is a very poor choice on multiple counts.

I wrote a cblog a few months back about this game, and I had hope. I was full of it. Just this Saturday, I recorded an episode of Radio Destructoid where I talked about how The Last Guardian was the only thing I was looking forward to from E3 2014, and then heard live during recording that it was cancelled. I reacted with "that's hype, just give it a few minutes" with the confidence only reserved for some sort of religious zealot. Then, minutes later, as if ordained by heaven itself, the tweet arrived. I said something along the lines of "the true believer is rewarded for their faith." It was a joke, of course. But, like all jokes, there was an edge of truth that allowed that blade to cut the way it did. I felt utterly justified. Righteously so.

Then, tonight, Sony drops the ball. Again. On top of again. On top of again.

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think. I don't want to give up on this game, something I have such blind faith in thanks to the previous games in the series and the profound effect they have had on me and my life. There are very few "experiences" that I've had playing games - I've had lots of fun, and I've got lots of memories, but very few actual moments that are indelible flashes of remembrance when the word "experiences" pops up.

Ico and Shadow Of The Colossus are two of those brilliant, shining moments. I was ready for this game. I've been ready for this game. My bags have been packed and I've been waiting patiently. And suffice to say, I've been disappointed for the last time. I will not allow myself to get any more emotionally invested than this point, right here. And to do this, I must cease to care about this game. I have to stop waiting on a friend who will never show up. I have to stop hoping for that moment.

I am officially giving up on The Last Guardian. This is probably the saddest day I've ever had in this hobby, and that's out of twenty-eight years playing video games. This day, right here, is when I watched the purest of videogame hope die. That's not hyperbole. That's very real.

And Sony, you giant, sprawling multi-national corporation, you. On the beyond remote off-chance that you're out there reading this, I'd like you to know one thing and one thing only about that hope: you killed it. With your bare-mother-fucking-hands. Nobody else. Nothing else. And I am sure as shit that I'm not the only one who feels that way right now.

"But Urrday, it's not like they canceled it." You might as well have, at this point. Stop dicking all of us around and just decide on whether or not you're going to put a bullet in it already. Now you're just being cruel for the sake of being cruel, and if you can't see that, you're far worse than your fans ever thought you were. Just shit or get off the fucking pot.

With that said, I'm going back to the week's E3 coverage. It's going to be interesting if I can muster up the energy to care anymore. I certainly won't get this emotionally invested in a videogame ever again, that's for sure. This hobby used to be about inspiring that childlike sense of wonder...now, I guess they're more in the business of extinguishing it.

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About Everyday Legendone of us since 1:32 PM on 08.24.2009

I am the Everyday Legend, and I am a male, 31-year old Florida native and videogame fan of the most epicurean order. I'm also the father of a very precocious (almost) three-year-old daughter, and a newborn daughter as well!

My natural state: very, very tired.

I got into gaming when I was 5, and my Aunt and Uncle had an NES that they had bought because they thought it was the coolest thing ever. As a matter of fact, they weren't too far off of the mark. I was introduced to Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt (naturally), and soon followed up with the very first Zelda. I remember the very first game I beat by myself - Megaman 2, in 1989. I was six at the time.

Shortly after that, I played Street Fighter II for the first time in a local skating rink and was hooked. Bad. Like, smack-habit bad.

I remember playing against the college kids that would come in there to hang out and chill - there was a lounge connected to the place that you had to be 18 to get in - and a lot of these guys used to come in and spend a ton of time and money on playing SFII. I learned how to play from these guys, and within a year, I had become just as good as they were. I was hanging out with people almost twice my age, and conversing with them on their level about a mutual passion - and that's where I've been ever since.

Videogames don't make up my entire life: I cook, I write, I sing, I have a full-time career in IT and am still attending college for a degree in Computer Science, then moving into a Masters in Information Systems Management. Gotta have goals.

Nothing beats a good trip to a good bar where they serve good beer and have a good selection of good tunes. Also, chilled Junmai Ginjo (unfiltered) sake is the nectar of the gods, in case you weren't aware. Of course, those trips are very rare these days, because there is always another diaper to change, and leaving your kid at home in the crib is never an option if you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror.

Oh, and I really, really love sushi. I can put away amounts of that stuff that some may label as borderline genocidal. I put species of fish on the endangered list singlehandedly. I'm not ashamed. It's their own fault for being born so damn delicious.