dear cooper

Sunday, September 27, 2009

my dear sweet precious cooper,

i loved how you slept with your arms in the air like you are in this picture. i wonder today, if you would still be sleeping this way at 10 months old. yes, today you would have turned 10 months old, so hard for me to wrap my mind around.

fall is upon us. the air is crisper, the leaves turning and the wind is blustery. fall is one of my favorite seasons and it is a welcome sight, an assuring sign that life continues.

as you and i have discussed many times, you are going to have a little brother to watch over. it has been an interesting 18 weeks so far, a constant see-saw of emotions, but i think i am learning how to handle them and am taking them as they come. we see dr m in a few weeks and she will do a fetal echo cardiogram of the bean's heart.

i want you to know, even though i know you do, that this baby will never replace you, nor will it change my love for you. you will always be my first child. it is because of what you taught me in your short life that i am able to put my fears aside, have hope, and want to be parent. cooper, you taught me how much i can love, and that is one of the greatest gifts you could have given me. the bean is very lucky to have his very own guardian watching over him.

your dad had his first tattoo appointment on friday, the one that he is getting for you. it is a work in progress, but i think that it will be a reminder to those who see it just how much he loves you. as for me, well i have to wait until your brother is born, but i too will have one in your honor. and i think your uncle luke will as well. you made such an impact on us all.

i miss you terribly, cooper, but i know that you are with me all the time.

4 comments:

Cooper - Although winter is setting in here in AK, I saw some beautiful swans on the water the other day, they made me think of you. There is also this woodpecker that sits outside my window everyday and pecks at the tree or the side of the house. Sometimes I wonder if he is pecking out morse code. We think of you daily and those thoughts warm our hearts.

Lucinda, you just "nailed" the greatest impact of being a parent...and that is finding out just much you can love. You're right...it is an amazing gift, and it's one like no other, not even love for spouse. Neither is more or less...just different and both quite wonderful to experience. I've been blessed with both and am so glad you are too.Much love, Kay

With your first baby you discover how much you can love. With your second baby, you learn that your heart can grow. That there is room to love two people more than you ever thought you could. It is just as amazing. I am so happy for you!