Monday, April 30, 2012

Unsettled...

I stepped away from this blog last week because I found this
space…a space I created…unsettling.

This has happened before…

…and it will happen again.

Knowing that it will happen again is what gave me pause and
prompted my inner work.

A dear friend has often said that people of color need our
own online spaces because wide-open dialogue too often becomes a Q&A
session that makes a body feel like an exhibit on display.

I see the value in having safe online places for people of
color to dialogue free of outside commentary…just as I see the value in open
dialogue.

But I’ve got to tell ya…open dialogue is emotionally
grueling and a little over a week ago it just became too much.

Well, that’s not exactly true.

I could have blogged last week.

But I honestly think I had crossed over from anger into
rage, which isn’t what this blog is about.

So I stepped away and spent the week pondering whether my
voice matters…whether this blog is worth it…and whether it is time to shut the
school of bitchitude down and move on to whatever the future has lined up next.

Because this space...a space I created...had become
unsettling.

I decided to keep blogging here and to give myself
permission to step away when I feel the need.

28 comments:

Please don't close down the school of bitchitude! Your voice is so astute, so important.

I've decided at long last that it's a fallacy to think this is an either/or question -- it's not about either open dialogue or a closed community. I've chosen to moderate comments and delete the ones that don't participate in a conversation in the same way I wouldn't let an irrational, hateful student hijack a class of mine -- We have a social contract when we enter the room, and some people by their comments show themselves to have suspended the rules of that contract.

I'm happy you decided to continue this blog. I love reading your posts. I respect your point of view and often find I agree with you. You have also opened my eyes to a lot issues. I thank you for continuing my education.

Like anybody else, you are allowedto have a "down" day or week.However, don't give up; youarticulate feelings that I haveand cannot formulate. I quote youand forward you. I look forwardto many years of your postings.

I only stop by every couple of weeks, not as often as I should, but I really hope you don't take down the blog for good. I don't know what your moderating load is like, but given the unholy shit that goes down in unmoderated comments sections, I can only imagine what kind of godawful tripe you wade through. If you need a break from tripe-wading, you've more than earned it with your amazing writing and insights over the years of this blog. But please do know in your soul that your voice is valuable, and it has touched this reader.

Taking care of yourself is the foundation of the work. You can't do anything positive if you're getting broken down by what needs doing. Sending you blessings of peace and beauty to help restore the spirit. Your voice is heard. The world needs it. In your own time.

This longtime lurker wishes she could think of something witty and original to convince you once and for all. You're on my must-read-everyday-list because you GET the whole picture: feminism, race, disability, economic inequality, etc. You know how all this stuff comes together to make life more difficult for average anonymous folk, and you don't let it go unnoticed.

You're a hero to me because of the way you refuse to pretend that bs isn't bs, and beyond that, you actually work to make things better, unlike too many people who see the flaws in the system but never take action to correct them (like myself). You make me want to put on my grown-up pants and be an asshole-fighting bitch too!

Don't let the trolls win. Slap down the ugly words with more and better words. Please stay!

Aw, honey. Don't let the jerks get you down. Delete, delete, delete. I check your blog every day, and a new post ALWAYS makes me smile. You give me lots to think about! Know that you are loved and valued by your many fans.

Do you think that something changed up in the blogosphere recently? I noticed a few months ago that some of my favorite blogs had started moderating comments. It seemed to me as if it happened all at once, although I don't comment that often so I could have missed a more gradual trend. Anyway, thank you for hanging in there: your voice is unique and delightful, and my day is always better for having read it.

Doug, I think it has something to do with the election year...something about it stirs up the worst in people. But there are always trolls out there who love to drop nuggets of hate in comments just to hurt others. Tis pathetic but as predictable as the sun set. Sigh. Thanks for your support!!

"So I stepped away and spent the week pondering whether my voice matters…whether this blog is worth it…and whether it is time to shut the school of bitchitude down "

Whatever your decision might be, I would like to thank you for three points:a) I learned a little American English from your blog, though I am too old to make a great profitb) while reading you, I became more persuasive and efficient on commenting French blogs.c) I could learn a little about Black Americans (the situation of European gipsies http://kopachi.com/articles/roma-in-romania-by-valeriu-nicolae/#more-211seems worse, now, but, if I had not read you, it might have been able to understand it)

I saw some very good blogs disappear because of frustration, and that made me sad..

As one of your Canadian readers, your voice matters. I watch what is happening in the US, through your eyes, and it inspires me to get more involved in protecting human rights in my own country. Your voice is so important and I agree with the rest, take a break when you need, and we'll be waiting here for you no matter what.