Thursday, April 24, 2008

Mad

********************************************************Divorce cost him an arm and a leg, so how much doughhas Sir Paul McCartney got left? Find out with TheSunday Times Rich List, the final word on who's richerthan who in Britain today.http://tinyurl.com/45my3d********************************************************

Philip Pullman may be one of our foremost atheists but his son got married at the weekend in a Catholic church with full mass, a choir and a soloist who sang Ave Maria. Pullman even gave a reading from Corinthians ending "God is love", to one or two raised eyebrows. He didn't, however, take communion.

-----------------------------------------------------A writes: “When I worked at HMV in the early 90s MikeNolan was browsing through the cassette section. Iwalked up to him and asked if he needed any help orwas just making his mind up? He didn’t smile. At all.”-----------------------------------------------------

>> Where's Maddie << The joys of community journalism

The current trend in news journalism is to let the viewers do the work. But the rise of photos and videos from amateur mobile phone cameramen is not without peril, thank God. One 24 hour news network didn't spot that someone was sending them in photos of the London Olympic torch procession and photo- shopping images of Maddie McCann into the crowd. Oops.

Which late night TV show presenter pairing are all smiles on screen but once the cameras stop rolling the mutual hatred is bubbling up. The longer-haired presenter is jealous at the attention the other is getting. And the other can hardly hide his contempt for what he (somewhat correctly) considers the other's lack of talent.

Which Pirates of the Caribbean star is still talked of in hushed tones by Bahamian locals, where II and III were filmed, thanks to his super-human habit of drinking three bottles of very fine red wine every day?

-----------------------------------------------------“Gossip keeps people’s behaviour in check becausethey want to look good to others and don’t want tobe thought badly of”, according to scientists.”-----------------------------------------------------

>> The Ken and Eric show << Finding Cantona in Salford today

Ken Loach is making a biopic of Eric Cantona's time at Man Utd, provisionally titled Finding Eric. The director hasn't lost his “man of the people” credentials. Rather than staying in the posh Lowry Hotel he's in a big standard 3 star place, refusing the services of a chauffeur and spending his 35 quid a day per diem in Pret a Manger on food for his staff. He and the Cantona family have been travelling around by tram or minicab.

Madonna and Guy dined at Cecconi's last week. People on the next table report the famous pair spent the evening chatting happily with each other.

Our spy escaped to the restrooms to call a friend. She didn't see that Madonna had also gone to the bathroom, and as she stood by the basins excitedly whispering down the phone Mrs Richie came out of the cubicle and walked straight past her (without washing hands) back to her seat. Cue an uncomfortable rest of meal.

-----------------------------------------------------Meg Ryan has been in London with her adopted daughterDaisy, who is “cute enough to sell on to Madonna”.Meg's forehead doesn't move much but she's ditchedthe Daffy Duck lip implants.-----------------------------------------------------

>> Klaxon alert << Jools Holland guests beware

BBC Entertainment has a new joke. Q: What's the definition of a bad party? A: Two many Klaxons, not enough beer. The band for some reason went all to the filming of Jools Holland's show and sat in the audience drinking just about all of the free booze set aside for the “talent”. And Pixie Geldof, taking after her sister, started to snog the fat Klaxon whenever the camera was on them.

There's a weird new theory that Sonny Bono didn't die in an accident, he was assassinated. Some FBI agent reckon drug and gun runners killed him on the ski slopes, through a staged ski accident. One investigator said that he sent Bono evidence that top US government officials were linked to arms and weapons dealers. Less than a month later, Bono was dead.

-----------------------------------------------------Nigella Lawson shopping in DKNY Selfridges. She hadbird shit on her arse.-----------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------Karen from Will & Grace (Megan Mullally) was theoriginal choice to play Tom Cruise's hookerfriend in Risky Business.-----------------------------------------------------

>> Pigs in space << Moon landings almost go Loony Tunes

celtiagirl writes: “A lovely old chap at the BBC who'd been in charge of covering the first moon landing once told me that if the NASA mission had gone wrong, the only tape they had lined up to cut to was a Warner Bros Porky Pig cartoon. That's all folks.”

The world's leading centre in Medical Primatology is in the Georgian breakaway republic of Abkhazia. Sadly, this post-Soviet, post- conflict Research Institute of Experimental Pathology is now little more than a run-down zoo, housing 286 inbred, traumatised monkeys. The institute was started by an eminent Soviet biologist, Ilya Ivanov. In its heyday it provided the monkeys that went up into space.

Ivanov pioneered the science of artificial insemination to create inter-species hybrids, like the Zeedonk (zebra/donkey). He was really attempting to create a human-ape hybrid. In the 1920s Ivanov inseminated two female chimps with human sperm. It didn't work. He moved to Guinea to get human females pregnant by chimp sperm, but was stopped by the French authorities. He started the Institute in Georgia to carry on his work but eventually fell out of favour, and died in a prison camp.

Siegfried and Roy's secrets finally look set to be revealed. A new book about the tiger loving twosome claims:

* Siegfried and Roy enjoyed foursomes with Liberace and his boy-toy Scott Thorson * Siegfried was so scared of the animals he'd never even hold their leashes. * Their tricks are done with body doubles and concealed panels. * Roy died for a while during surgery after being bitten by Montecore the tiger. * Shirley MacLaine is one of many of their friends who believes Roy did die and that Siegfried parades around a hired lookalike. * the animals had to be zapped with electric prods to perform.

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