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Dallas's Deep Ellum Brewing Company is one of the fastest growing breweries anywhere. With that in mind, they assembled a new team to lead them into the future, and based on their truly spectacular job titles alone, they'll likely be bigger than InBev in the next week or two. That photo above is the crew; below are what they've been allowed to call themselves. Sorry, junior associate deputy vice president:

Jeremy Hunt – Yeast Whisperer

David Hauptman – Hop Czar

John Wiewel – Sales Samurai

Terry Leonard – Van Diesel

Christian Rasmussen – Thorgrimsen Keg Viking

Josh Mowell – Numbers Guy

Chris Eiland – The Vansporter

Jason Harrington – Assistant Brewer (this is what happens when you skip initiation)