Thanks for the memories: That quintessential harbinger of...

April 18, 1986|By Skip Myslenski & Linda Kay.

Thanks for the memories: That quintessential harbinger of optimism

--Opening Day at Wrigley Field--is here at last, and to celebrate we present (drum roll, please) a Cub flashback. It was the winter of 1935 when San Francisco Seals` owner Charles Graham called his Cub counterpart, William Wrigley. I have a young center-field prospect I`ll sell you for $25,000, said Graham. No way, said Wrigley, who wondered about the knee injury the player had suffered a year earlier. Well, said Graham, take him on a trial basis and if you`re not satisfied, I`ll void the deal and return your money. Once again Wrigley said no. With that Graham turned to the Yankees, who purchased the prospect, and in 1936, Joe DiMaggio began his Hall of Fame career by hitting .323.

And did you hear the one . . .

. . . about Lou Stringer. He was the Cubs` rookie shortstop on Opening Day of 1941 and, that afternoon, he earned a spot in the record book--for most errors (four) by any shortstop on any Opening Day. Those two tales of disrepute are among the many in the second edition of ``The Baseball Hall Of Shame,`` a sometimes humorous, sometimes bittersweet, sometimes incredible (as in, can you believe that?) look at the not-so-great moments in the history of that sport. ``I grew up in Rockford and as a kid all I read about were Cub heroes, who were bumblers and buffoons,`` says co-author Allan Zullo, explaining his empathy for the error prone.

``And I was always attracted to stumblebums,`` adds Bruce Nash, his partner in levity. ``As a kid, I had a hall of fame for them in my bedroom.`` ``Now we`re creating a niche for ourselves,`` notes Zullo.

``And little did I think that my niche in life would be as a chronicler of shame,`` concludes Nash.

As compilers of lesser moments, the two are already at work on a third edition of baseball follies, on another featuring football`s follies, and on two others tentatively titled ``The Total Sport Hall Of Shame`` and ``The Mis- Fortune 500.`` Oh, and they are also busy with one other matter. They have begun a campaign to get the Hall of Fame moved from Cooperstown, N.Y., where

(legend has it) Abner Doubleday invented the game, to Hoboken, N.J., where

(the facts tell us) Alexander Cartwright arranged the first game of baseball on the old cricket grounds of Elysian Fields. Says Zullo: ``That`s now our mission.``

Round the ring

Using every available outlet: Heavyweight champ Michael Spinks hired Compubox, Inc. to help him prepare for Saturday night`s title defense against Larry Holmes. Every time he sparred, a computer counted and categorized the punches he threw for later analysis. . . . They all come out: Any heavyweight championship fight is a peacock`s party that attracts the greats, the near-greats and the greats-only-in-their-own-minds. This one is no different, with ``Moonlighting`s`` Bruce Willis, Oscar nominee Whoopi Goldberg and the omnipresent Don Rickles scheduled to be on hand along with four macho men: Don Johnson (complete with four bodyguards), Telly Savalas, Jack Nicholson and Tom Selleck. . . . Former Pistons and Bucks center Bob Lanier will also be there, but he has a job: hyping the beer that helped make his size 19 feet famous. . . . CBS News will be in Las Vegas, but not to cover the fight. Its task:

covering the journalists covering the fight. . . . Maywood, Sportsman`s and Balmoral racetracks air the fight over closed circuit television for their patrons.

News, notes and nonsense

Wonder why the Black Hawks flopped in the first round of the playoffs?

Friday (Channel 11, 6:30). . . . Jack Brickhouse chats with Eddie Stanky Saturday on ``Cubs Scrapbook,`` which follows the game on WGN radio. He talks with Bill ``Swish`` Nicholson after Sunday`s game. . . . Former Cub Richie Hebner is back digging graves at his father`s cemetery in the Boston area. . . . Ryne Sandberg picks up where Michael Jordan left off when a commercial for Chicagoland Chevy dealers debuts on WGN-TV before the Cubs` home opener Friday.

And finally, this could be the start of something big: Cubbies Bobby Dernier, Keith Moreland, Scott Sanderson and Dennis Eckersley expose themselves to the scissors Sunday night at the Limelight disco, where the Hair Performers hold a Cut-a-Thon to benefit Cystic Fibrosis. We suggest the Performers bring in Bears wide receiver Willie Gault for the evening. The haircut (???) he gave quarterback Jim McMahon last summer helped launch a legend.