New Skills for a New Hire

"I have a tough time developing relationships at a new job. Colleagues roll their eyes instead of trying to get to know me. How can I overcome this?"

by
Ari Tuckman, Psy.D., MBA

Most people are nervous at a new job. Create a plan with specific examples of what to do more and less of, then remind yourself of the list each day. Put a little note on the corner of your desk with prompts; make them cryptic, so a casual observer won't be able to decipher them.

If you still talk too much, admit it by saying, "I tend to talk when I get excited or nervous. Just stop me if you need to." Saying this straightforwardly indicates that you accept this habit about yourself and that you're OK with interruptions. If you discover that you've asked a question twice, say, "There's a lot to learn, and I want to do a good job, so sometimes I forget that I've already asked something." You may also find it helpful to jot down important information in a notebook, at least until you get settled. Remember that everyone was once the new kid at the office; you just need to get your feet under you.