Tuesday, 18 August 2015

STUPID NUMBER 7

[ONE FROM THE ARCHIVES. NEW BLOG TOMORROW]

Here’s another
unbelievable story for you; unbelievable in a ‘dear god are people
that utterly stupid’ kind of way.

Recently in Abu Dhabi, an
area rife with money beyond one’s comprehension, a mobile phone number sold at
auction for £2.1 million pounds. I’ll let you sit with that one for a moment.
Yes, a phone number, not a house, or a yacht, or a priceless work of art, but a
simple set of digits. The number 777-7777 (okay fine, it’s easy to remember,
but honestly? Get a notepad if you can’t remember numbers) sold at auction to
an anonymous (moron) individual, but as with anything in life, there is a
catch. This proud new owner of said number doesn’t even own it, they are just
renting it essentially from the government. But on the flip side they are lucky
recipient of a two-year contract, which
includes 22,500 phone minutes, 22,500 text messages, and 100GB of data every month.
Gosh darn did they hit the jackpot, come to think of it, they better start
limbering up their texting fingers.

I don’t know about you, but I locked
myself into a two-year contract almost 2 years ago and I have been counting
down every single day until my liberation. I think if I had paid 2 million for
it, I’d be a lot more depressed. The other catch, cause this story just keeps
on giving, before the bids were placed, the bidders were warned from the phone
regulators that they had the right to change or withdraw the special numbers at
any time. And yet, the auction went ahead and one lucky minted individual with
clearly too much cash to burn bought himself a two-year contract. I may be
frugal, but even if I had a billion dollars, I would not be shelling out that
kind of money for a number. Then again, I don’t have a billion dollars.

I suppose for some (obviously), there is
real power in a number. I’ve had the same mobile number for over 10 years, it’s
nothing special, but I figured it’s helped keep my brain from turning to mush
as it’s not all 7’s. Where’s the challenge in that? Funny enough, certain
numbers no matter what you do stick with you over time. To this day I still
remember my best friend’s number from childhood (don’t worry MF I will not repeat
it) as well as a restaurant that delivered on my college campus (which speaks volumes
about what I did my freshman year) over…well, many years ago.

The most surreal part of this story is
not that people have this much money (although the disparity of this world is
depressing at best), but that they spend it on this sh*t as opposed to putting
it to good use. My advice to the upper money set of Abu Dhabi, challenge your
brain and get a more complicated phone number and give your money to charity.
You’ll feel a whole lot better I promise you and may even stave off dementia
for a few more years.