Wednesday, July 22, 2009

OMG! You just can't believe it happens to you till it happens.I mean I've heard all the stories, read all the articles, and I just thought it was just good PR on behalf of Facebook. I mean really you don't see stuff like this everyday and when it happens wow!My day started like every other day. I mean one minute I'm at my Job Search Room at the podunkHRA supported agency on my computer. Now they keep on telling me and my other job search participants that we should use the computer for job search only. (That's why even though my Case Manager is a part-time actor and would really love this site I can't show it to him because he'll do his job and report my ass.) But as it was beep that I mean I'm only here for a job training course in order to get my licence to become a Security Guard. (Don't ask! Need money, steady job, etc.) So looking for work isn't going to take up must time. However the point is that we're allowed to be in our e-mail so that we can send resumes and stuff so there I was when it happen.

I was looking through my e-mail when I saw the subject line: 'Codie G------ is requesting to be your friend on Facebook. No other important words meant so much to me as to see her name on a subject line requesting to be my friend. A little back story:When I was a young hip wanna be writer and artist (unlike now when I'm a late 30's gonna be writer and artist.) I moved in with my Dad while going to college. My Dad had moved to Harlem shortly after his separation from his long time live-in girlfriend. (Him 55, she 60 something. It's a story, I'll tell ya later) Anyhoo, we moved from Hell's Kitchen to Harlem to this one bedroom apartment. My Dad sleeping in the living room and me with a bedroom all to myself. For a couple of months this was bliss and I just left dorm life and boy wasn't that a big waste of a college loan! (Again, you might hear more of this in another post.) Well, as I can recall it was the Fall of 93 or so and I was just sitting on the steps in front of our apartment building when this medium height chocolate brown gal in braids stepped into my life with one hand full of shopping and another hand holding this adorable toe-head child of hers. At the time I was pretty bummed. It was my 1 st year here in Harlem and I lived in a building full of either ultra shy or really stuck up people, (depending on who you finally got to say 'good morning' to), and I was really lonely and self-conscious. It didn't stop me however from being the over-friendly cuss that was the bane of my mother when I was a child. For me the saying a stranger is a friend you just haven't met yet was not just words it was a blooming lifestyle!Anyhoo! There she was coming down the stairs and there I was sitting on the stairs. I immediately remember my manner that were drummed into me by both parents at separate time in my life and got up to give her and her sweet toddler some room to go down the stairs.I said "Excuse me " or something like that and then preceded to open the apartment building door for her. She said "Thank you. Your so kind" or something to that affect and we both went into the building together.

At this point as we waiting for the elevator and since nature and Clueuin (M.R) abhor a vacuum I started to blather. "Your new here? I have just moved here." And other pleasantries that I this point in my life I'm lucky to remember my own name much less what was said 16 years ago. All I do remember is we just started gabbing like we were old friends forever or something. I cooed at her son, she told me that she lived in the building for quite sometime, and schooled me on the inhabitants of the building. I told her about my downstairs neighbor who hated me and my Dad and took every opportunity to complain about the so called noise I was making and about living with my Dad. And she said just the right thing, that my neighbor was a stuck up bitch and my Dad sounded like a sweetheart. (Leaving crumbs on the counter and collecting cans and putting them in the closet non-withstanding. But hey I loved him and still do.)I just thought though that Codie was the coolest, smartest (street smart), funniest person I ever met and she made me feel like I was the coolest, smartest (book smart), funniest person she ever met. It was if God said "Honey I know you miss your dear departed sister Beverly and I know no one can replace but how about this kid as your friend and companion." And said after knowing her a few years till she moved.

Oh the times we had! We laughed, we cried, we both yelled at her boyfriend when he was acting up, and tease him unmercifully when he was being funny. (And that was a lot, Anthony was one crazy cuse!) It was like every other day I was at her apartment laughing, sharing, and occasionally drinking the night away. (Hey sometimes the gal had to kick me out. I mean a gal gotta sleep sometimes. LOL.) Then she had to move down south and I was the most bummed creature on earth. I cried, she cried, the boy cried, we all cried, but she had to go. Codie had her son to think of and she needed a better life than what she was living then. I still had the crazy idea that my life would be perfect if only I had my own apartment. (Pfft. Who knew?) I was thinking that she was the luckiest person on earth and I was going to be stuck living with my Dad (as nice as he was/is) and going from job to job without getting published which was/is my dream. Now I didn't even have a best friend to chat with. I had her new phone # (which years later I lost) but it wouldn't be the same. I thought.So that is the brief saga of meeting my bestest friend in the whole wide world next to my step-sister (whom I will always call my sister) Beverly. Here in lies the rest of my Facebook saga which had me reunited with my soul sista:

So where was I? Oh yeah on the Internet, looking at my e-mail, and finding that friend request in the subject line. It took all the discretion and strength I had not to jump up and scream. ('Cause I didn't want to get busted.) I immediately went to Facebook while shiftily looking from my screen to my case mgr.'s desk in order to contact my soul sista with the quickness. I accepted her as my friend, she e-mail me, I e-mail her. Called her the next day and we started chatting like it was yesterday and I was in her kitchen at her apartment telling her about my day. Except now I was at my Job search center instead of her kitchen and she was oh, just 500 miles away with three kids instead of the one and that toe-headed child is now 16 years old.I must say this I don't care what anybody has to say about Facebook the company, the President of Facebook, it's trails, tribulations, or criticisms of it in any way shape or form. I love Facebook and I will be a loyal user till I die or whenever they go out of business and close down their site. (Which I don't think will happen anytime soon, thank you very much!)If it wasn't for Facebook I would still be search on a Internet search engine for my friend Codie (because like a dumb ass I lost her number and her mother's number) wonder what was happening in her life and thinking that she must think I'm the worst friend in the history of friendship. Which she doesn't, God bless her, she says that when ever anyone ask her about who is her best friend, Codie says M-------. I love you Codie and yeah.......

Friday, July 17, 2009

Yes ladies and gentleman the final installment of "The Guy in the Tie" or "The Guy with the Tie" whatever the case maybe because if I don't start writing this it will never get finished and I know my fans are getting antsy, all two of them. LOL So without further ado.......

So I went with the Guy into Starbucks and we looked around for a seat. There on the left of use just to inches from the entrance where some booths, tables, and seats. A man and a woman were sitting in the booth and two chairs were there in front of their table. They were well dressed and filled with the aura of comfortably well off Yuppies till one of them spoke, then they went even lower in my estimation. (You'll see what I mean in a minute.)

So Guy when up to them and asked the man if he could take two of the chairs. Now at this point I was already having misgivings. "Why I'm I here? Just look at the stuck up Yuppy? Why didn't I just tell him that I had an appointment and leave."

Flashing back I realized that he had said that I could ask him any question I'd like and that he didn't have any intentions of trying to get into my pants. So I sighed and paid a little more attention to what my new companion was saying.

The Yuppies in the Booth was claiming that they were saving the seats for they friends and the Yuppie Guy was quite adamant about not giving up the seats. I'm thinking, "Great maybe we can sit somewhere else." And "Or Maybe forget the whole thing. Nod smile keep it moving"

Well Guy in the Tie was wasting time trying to get the Yuppie Guy to compromise. "Are you sure I can't just have one chair...for the lady at least? I promise it won't take long." Well Yuppie Guy, heretofore now to be called Euro-trash guy, wasn't having it. " No. I told you that thee chairs, they are for some else. Now go away!"

After that little effeminate statement I almost saw red. I mean o.k Guy with the Tie may have pressed his issue a bit too much but, damn! " It's o.k. *-------." I said brusquely and tiredly. "Let the little man have his chairs. O.k? I'm sure we can find somewhere else to sit. Umph!" I sort of snorted after that sentence. Well the Euro-trash guy sort of bristled after that and tried to bring my ass into the little disagreement. " I just told this old man that dees seats they were taken. Is it my fault that he is deaf?" I turned back and said to him; " Don't you bring me into your shit, o.k? You've made your little point you little Euro-trash! Now if you will excuse us we will be leaving now. Come on *------ let go!" Well have you ever met a man that never has the common sense to just let a woman have the last word. Well Euro-trash was that man.

"Who are you calling Euro-trash! I'm from Brooklyn!" (Yea, right!) "Your from Brooklyn? With a phacaca accent like that your from Brooklyn. Well hon, I'm from Brooklyn, New York USA, and if your phony ass self is from Brooklyn then I'm Tyra Banks! Come on *-----!" And with that I took Guy with the Tie by the arm and walked to the counter where they keep the Coffee condiments where I leaned on the window up against the wooden bar.

"Now you said something about talking?" I said trying to drag back my usually cool demeanor. " Sorry about that *------, I usually don't lose my cool like that but rude people like that set my teeth on edge." I said after I notice the Guy with the Tie's bemused look on his face. " No, don't worry about it. Look we can't sit here and have a relaxed conversation with you standing here like that I'll be right back." As he went I noticed that he was going right back to Euro-trash's table. "Oh, no *------, don't go there it's o.k! We can get a seat...."

But by the time it took for me to finish that sentence, GWTT went off and grab the chair. It was just then I notice that Euro-trash was joined by only one other person besides the woman that was with him from the start. " Why that little lieyer!" I thought "Here he his making a big deal about saving seats when he only needed one. What a bastard!"

So GWTT came back with the chair to where I was standing looking at him bemused and bewildered. And him coming back as if he personally slay a dragon for me or something. I laughed shook my head and hell yeah I sat down. "So go ahead asking me anything and remember you can ask anything you want. Just ten questions and you will find out all about me." GWTT said smiling. "O.k GWTT as Sherlock Holmes said to Watson the game's afoot!" I thought to myself as I began to ask him questions in my quest to see what his game was. Here below are my questions as best as I can remember them and his answers.

1. What's your religion?

When I ask him that he was quite taken aback because he didn't expect that question. Little did he know that I was really asking him that question to gauge what his game was because if it was some kind of religious conversion trip he was trying to take me on. I was going to ask him a couple of follow-up questions;(like are you some kind of missionary?), then politely and firmly tell him good day. I don't take to prostenlizing because I believe that any Christain's actions should speak for themselves louder that any preaching can. (For more on my issues stay tuned for upcoming posts.) Well GWTT's answer was that he was raised Espipalian in Boston but has not been to church for quite sometime.

2. So does that mean that you don't believe in God?(Follow up question just in case and just in case he was some kind of cult recruiter. I don't take kindly to any kind of prostenlizing in any religion and MR does not shave her head for no one!) GWTT: "Well yes of course it's just that I believe in God all around us. In the earth, the trees, nature, you know in the people we met, etc."For awhile there I was nervous because I felt; "Oh, here we go now he'll expound on his little group in the basement that just hangs out and talks about nature while smoking funny leaves and banging drums. (Not that I have a problem with that or anything as I meditate twice a month and I practice some visualization techniques but now funny leaves now MR don't mess with that. See previous statement about issues.) However after he pauses and asked: "Do you? I mean you don't have to answer that of course, for some there religions views are a private matter." I relax and told him that we sort of shared the same views. (Which of course I won't go into here, right now.)

3. Have you ever been in a relationship?Now I know what ya'll been thinking and no this was not my little cute way of a pick-up line. Geez folks I'm in my late 30's and GWTT was in his 60's if he was a day. I just wanted to see if he was looking so I could see if he was using this question and answer time to try to pick me up. You know if his reply was going to be something cute like; Why are you looking for someone? Or I'm looking for a young girl like you what do ya say, kid?, so I can drop the bomb on him and say, Oh no y0u didn't! It was just a question, geez what's wrong with you and leave in a huff. You see I was setting a trap and hope (maybe not because he was quite a nice old man and it would have sicken me to find out that was what he was really after.) that he would jump in so I could do that. I think I this point I really was worried about whether I should continue this conversation with a stranger and wanted to be put at ease. Any any rate he said that he was married twice and divorced (yea you guess it) twice and was not looking for another opportunity to try for that experience ever again in his life.

(Now this was just me being nosy and shut up!)

4. What happen in your relationships for you to feel that way?

GWTT explained that his relationships didn't work out because of his job in radio and that he didn't spend enough time with wife 1 and wife 2 had issues. They just didn't work out. I told he that he didn't have to go into that if he didn't want to and we move on.

5-10. Was just about his hobbies, his interest, what was the most interesting book his every read. Mostly questions just to fill the time and to find out if we had any common interests as friends. (And nothing more so keep your mind out of the gutter!) F.Y.I His most interesting book: "Wind in the Willows" and some intellectual political tome I hadn't heard of but it open up a conversation on both our literary views and political ones.

In the sweet by and by I noticed the time and told him that regretfully I had to go. I wanted to go to the Pasterria and then go and find a book at Barnes & Nobles before going home to cook. It was getting late so I wanted to do this before those places closed. We shook hands, hugged, and he asked for my phone number.

(Sound of brakes squeaking)

What? No, Naw, uh, uh. I don't ever give out my phone number to strangers I've barely met. Not even if there my age and a damn site cuter than Guy with the Tie. However he and I had this rapport and I thought that it would be nice to give him my e-mail address. I offered and he replied, " I don't have an e-mail address and I don't believe in them." At this point I raised my left eyebrow. He explained. " You see I believe to face to face contact and voices on the phone connecting. It's from my time in radio." At this point he could have been regurgitating the Genesberg Address for all I cared. I heard it all before from technophobes and the like who just didn't understand the Internet. I was firm yet polite and tried to do my usual, 'You know you should really try it there is so much your missing out of and it's not that hard to learn speech.' Of course he was firm and polite about it and even at the mention of my poetry blog he didn't bit. For all I said I could have been speaking Mars language. At any rate we left it at that. I went to the Pasterriea and Barnes and Noble ate a deletable apple tart with chocolate stripes and read a really good Gaimen book with a warm feeling of having had a good conversation and a pretty good time.

That was till I saw him at Barnes and Nobles and he saw me and walked up to me saying, "Hi, fancy bumping into you here. I smiled wanly and he finally noticed the book in my hand and said; "Well again, it was nice meeting you. I don't want to interrupt your relaxing ready so till we met again." Then he waved and went on his way.

I am such a typical New Yorker. Sigh.

Well I hope you enjoyed my little adventure. Stay tuned in to my little blog for my next Post and a totally different topic. And hey tell your friends, the more fans the merrier.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Gee, I hope all my fans got a chance to see a picture of me on my blog because as of today I'm taking it down. Already I've gotten a friend request from some guy in real estate; so I'm thinking it's time to take it down before we have a starker situation up in here.

Now to all my friends, fans, and such like I just like to say thank you for showing up! Sometimes you make new friends and sometimes you lose them before you get to know them better. At anyrate I just wish that some of those friends who decided to break things off would tell me why and any new friends in future to try to keep an open mind. Not every person is going to agree with every person they meet but in the end it's the caring about people period that matters.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Will be getting that third part of the true to life story sometime next week. To hold you over if any of you are Facebook fans you have up to five days to take a look at my photo. Drool your little hearts out or laugh till ya bust don't care just do it in five days! Look at Clueuin's Facebook badge.

Peace,

Clueuin

P.s Don't go using my real name in any comments please. 'Cause try as I might I can't hide my name on facebook don't ask me why. But well anyway five days counting from now so if you don't see the badge after that......

Mike Falzone

Witty guy, shares his wit and wisdom with all on Youtube.
Check Out his new book- Never Stop shutting Up: A Book of Advice and other Things You Didn't Ask For.
More wit and fun than you can shake a stick at! (If you in to that sort of thing. I mean shaking sticks at wit and such. Whatevers!) Read The Book!

Clueuin

Born and raised in Brooklyn in the 70's. (That all the info. your going to get about how old I am so don't ask.)African/American/Carribeen. Love animals,(cats especially),a spritual activist, and one day hope to be a fully paid, and well-known published author.(Even though my spelling sometimes needs work.)P.s I have a bit of a temper, so don't mess!