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It's the truth. He is your dad.... and...Why did you not tell me?Both sound a little stiff. Might be a regional language thing, though. No big whup.

The BELL chimes signaling the end of lunch.INT. CAR - DAY - LATERTommy jumps into the family car.Might need a judge's ruling on this one, but I don't think you need the LATER tacked on unless it's pretty common to end lunch and go get in your family car.

Pg2 TOMMYYes I did. Dad.Should be a question mark after "Dad" rather than a period.

TOMMYYeah. You're dad's Santa Claus,and he gave you presents. My dad'sRobin Hood and he took them fromyou.LOL!

Alright, that was cute, even if Ed's goin' to the big house. Dumb@ss.I kinda like that you didn't sell out and Americanize your work.Favourite and pyjamas are one thing. Conkers and mum are another.Cool.

Nice little story, I have no idea who the audience would be for this, maybe just something fun to do/shoot, easy enough.

Why would the dad track mud all over the house? No grown person would do this. Especially if they'd gotten muddy breaking into someone's house. At first I thought you were just covering your bases and letting the audience know that he was out stealing presents. But in the last line of dialogue you hit us over the head with it.

JIMMYI don't even like the SMELL. SMELLS horrible.

TOMMYIs that what that SMELL is?^Too many "smells" too close together. Reads weird.

The end. I really like the whole robin hood thing with the stealing of the presents. But at the end it's this weird situation where everyone in the room knows that he stole someone else's presents and gave them to his own kid, and everyone's okay with this somehow. It's such a strange message. Almost like the moral of the story is that it's okay to steal as long as you tell your kid you're robin hood. Also, that last line is really beating us over the head with the whole "My Dad's Robin Hood" bit. The audience will get it. I don't think you need this line.