Sunday, September 14, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors: September 14, 2014

Welcome
Warriors, and Snipsuns. So glad you could stop by for a visit. :-) Holy speeding-by-year! September is almost half over!

Weekend Writing
Warriors is a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HEREat wewriwa.com, then post 8 sentences of
their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday
and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment,
critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart
good.

Snippet Sunday group from facebook--not us, but many of our participants do both, can be found HERE

The
travelers are now on the boat that is taking them upriver into the
Firce Mountains. Tayden has just asked Wiley(river driver) if his Maker
ever answers when he talks to him. Wiley's answering him, telling him a
story from "back before this hair was gray." :-) We
are still in Kad's POV.

So, on a day when best I should’a stayed home and been countin' my money instead’a
hauling foreigners into questionable weather, I headed upstream. That heavy sky
opened up and damnation poured down. Chunks of ice like broken glass pelted us, and the lightning tore open seams in
the black clouds."

Tayden, who’d looked just a tad dubious when the old man had begun, now listened, unblinking.

Wiley looked toward the water, the riverbanks, then his passengers, but didn’t
seem to actually see any of it; his gaze was distant, at a place and time in
yesteryear. “The hail and strikes weren’t nothin' compared to the wind that
came cursing down the river. Was the breath of the devil himself, I think. Fore I knowed it, that old wood boat was taking a tumble in
front of a wall of water.”

That's
it. What works, what doesn't? Thank you so much for visiting and
sharing your opinion! I'm grateful for each and every opinion, and each
and every one of you!

Terrific 8, Teresa. Wiley's voice is very clear, and I love your descriptions, esp. the wind cursing! I do agree with FC and think you can reduce the use of dialect a bit without sacrificing the clarity of his tone. :)

Although I like the country sound of it, I just got back from a writer's conference where an editor told us not to drop letters from the ends of words, but instead show the country voice in occasional internal thought. I bet another editor might say something totally different.