My Journey as a newly submissive wife

Tag: vanilla life

This week we are back to our normal schedule. We had a break last week with all the snow but now that that’s over back to training hard for the dogs. I have so much going on. I have 3 dogs in classes. One is actually in two classes, nosework and novice obedience. Plus keeping the house clean for Sir and cooking dinner. I am also involved in numerous groups and organizations that have meetings. Ugh! And I’m trying to keep up with the blog. I know I haven’t been writing as much as I normally do but just bare with me.

Also in the last couple of days I’ve had to make a pretty hard decision about trying to go back to work. Not as a police officer but as a Crime Analyst for the department. The position opened up the 27th and closes on the 6th of February. I have until then to apply for it. This is the second time this job has come up in my line of sight. I applied for it once when I was on light duty the last time but backed out because I got better and decided to go back to the street. Now that I am definitely not going back to the street its funny that this position opens up. I think it might be a sign. So I am definitely going to apply for it. I am having a friend help me get my resume’ together and I am going to ask a couple of people to write recommendation letters for me (people as in my sergeant and major). I am nervous though. 75% is based on experience and 25% is based on an excel exam that you have to take. I got the experience part nailed I think but that damn excel test is going to be a pain in the ass. I’ve already started studying for it. So if I do get the job I will being working 8-4, M-F. Let’s talk about the good things…..1) Will have secondary insurance, which will help with our ever-growing medical bills due to my Lupus. 2) Will allow me to use the degree that I paid close to $20,000 to get. 3) Will keep me in the work force for another 13 years. 4) Will be working with a great group of people. I toured where they were the last time I applied and everyone seemed extremely nice. Ok now for the bad things…1) It won’t allow me to have a lot of time training my dogs. 2) I will have to put the kennel business on the back burner for now. 3) nervous about learning how to do a new job, I mean I’ve been doing the same job for the past 7 years. Learning something new will hard. 4) I will be taking somewhat of a pay cut. I think I currently make somewhere in the mid 20’s and hour. If I take this job I will only be making $17.30 an hour, which isn’t bad but it’s still a pay cut. I think the quality of the good things definitely outweigh the bad things. So here I go, wish me Luck!!!! 🙂

Yep, we’ve had our first snow and that dropped the temperature down. I’m glad I only have one puppy that needs “assistance” going to the bathroom. The rest I can watch from the door. I hate the cold, just letting you know. I would rather it be sunny 90 degrees all year round.

I have plenty of under armour to get through training sessions with the dogs but its the simple fact that I just hate the cold. I hate working in the cold, its just a nuisance. Cold doesn’t bother Sir seeing as he works in a freezer, he actually wears shorts in cold weather. CRAZY!!! But anyway I hate driving in the snow and cold too many people that can’t drive. Last night I was coming home from dog training and almost got ran off the road TWICE by two different semi-trucks. I’m terrified of semis anyway but this has made my fear worse. I was shaking because they were so close to hitting me. I prayed the whole rest of the way home and stayed away from any semi-truck.

Saturday I went to our local sub lunch. It was a lot fun, met two new subs and had great conversation. I love our little group of subs that meet, they are all so sweet and knowledgeable. We always have a great time. Next Saturday we are all going bowling…it’s gonna be a busy day for me. I have the Dog Show in the morning. I will probably be done with that around 1pm, then I have have Bowling @ 4pm-6pm then our training club is having a party from 7-9pm. Gonna definitely be a busy day. But this sub is used to having busy days here lately.

Since I’ve been in the hospital and sick my housework has gone to the way side and the house is horrible. It’s kind of like I’m at that spot where I don’t even know where to begin in all the cleaning. But it makes me sick looking at it all.

So last week my mother in law called me and asked me if I needed any help cleaning my house. Well let me tell ya when she says clean…she means…clean. We cleaned under couches and everything. So we cleaned my entire basement, living room, and kitchen spotless and sanitized. I was so wore out by the time she left. She said we’d clean the rest at another time. I didn’t think that time would be so soon. She called last night and wanted to come over today to help clean some more.

We have one room in our house that’s an extra bedroom but me and Sir have unintentionally turned it into our “closet”. So there’s clothes and miscellaneous stuff that we have thrown in there and forgot about. God, I had forgotten how many fucking shoes I have. I am not allowed to by another pair of shoes for a long while, LOL.

So that was the room that we decided to work on today. Clothes everywhere, clothes that had been forgotten about and new clothes that needed to find homes. We had tubs to sort out the clothes so we sorted all of me and Sirs clothes and shoes out. I hadn’t seen the floor in that room for a while, its very sad to say….very sad. Did a lot of laundry, that’s still going ugh! I hate laundry but now that I’m somewhat caught up it shouldn’t be so bad. We worked all day! I even put my uniforms in tub to get them ready to be sold when I retire.

I am so tired and achy right now LOL. But I feel good about what we have accomplished today. She’s coming over again tomorrow to help finish cleaning that room and help me fold more laundry. She is the nicest person in the entire world. She refused to let me pay for lunch. But it is nice hanging out with her. I miss my own mother so much, its’ nice to have someone being maternal toward you.

I always have New Year’s Goals. I don’t call them resolutions, just goals I would like to obtain in the next 365 days. It was hard to sit and think about the goals I wanted for 2016. Since after February 29th, I will no longer be a police officer anymore. There are so many uncertainties right now in my life about 2016 so it’s kind of hard to make a goal-list. But here goes anyway.

I would like to get my kennel/boarding business up and running with a partner of course. I hope I can find one and then start the process for turning it into a business with the state and finally to find funding for it. This will help with income into the household. I may be retired from policing but I also would love the chance to do something that I love.

Show my dogs more. I am starting this in January. I will be showing my girl Heidi in four Rally shows. And in order to do that I am going to have to take more classes and work with them more. I am willing to do this as long as my health stays good.

Be more active in Local BDSM Community. Towards the end of the year we kind of slacked off in our involvement with our local community. We need to get back in touch with them and continue to attend weekly events and outings.

Concentrate on our own BDSM relationship and grow within it. Since I’ve been sick our BDSM has really gone down the tube. So hopefully 2016 will be a healthier year for me and we can continue to explore BDSM with each other.

Be more available for my friends. I feel like this year I really didn’t see a lot of my friends. I need to be the one to reach out to them. Make the lunch and dinner dates.

So there you have it my 5 goals for the next 365 days. I am going to work hard on them and provide periodic updates on my progress with each. I will have a few small goals that I will want to get to as well. Like with my Thirty-One business and making extra money for the household. I would like to also dig deeper into my submissiveness which I guess can be lumped into #3. But I also know that I need to take it slow, with my health. I don’t want to end up back in the hospital. Especially not knowing where our health insurance is going to go from here. I will be covered by Sir’s work so I will have insurance but I do not know if we can afford or if we should get a supplement policy because of my terrible health issues and how much will it be because of my health issues. But that’s worrying for another day. Happy Tuesday night everyone!!! LOL.

I haven’t written in over a month, wow! That’s crazy! Well what have I been up to this last month???? Preparing for Christmas, Starting two new organizations, being stuck in the hospital and keeping Sir happy. So it’s been pretty busy. Let me break that down.

Well company #1 is the kennel business. We have had 5 boxers living with us. 3 are ours and 2 are boarders. So its been crazy in our house trying to get a schedule down and keeping to it. One boarder just left to go to his forever home and I miss him so much. He was such a little cutie. I know the family will be happy to get him. Organization #2 is a regional leg of the USA Boxer Association which promotes the European Boxer in America. They hold and trials and there is not a regional leg in our area. So me and my breeder decided to start one. We have our first board of directors meeting in January. So getting that together has taken a lot of time up.

A week prior to Christmas I was put in the hospital with a bad lupus flare. Stupid me went to a different hospital and the doctor I got wouldn’t listen to me about giving me prednisone to help with the flare. It got so bad that I couldn’t even walk without being assisted. Finally me and Sir decided it was time for me to leave that hospital and go to the one that I normally go to for help. They weren’t helping me at all at the first hospital. So When we got to the second hospital they listened to me and got me out in 2 days, giving me prednisone every 6 hours and pain meds. I was discharged just in time for Christmas on December 23rd. I had no energy whatsoever. We missed Christmas Eve with His aunt and uncles because I was so weak.

We were able to celebrate Christmas morning with His family, but I wasn’t a bundle of laughs. I was tired and could barely open my gifts. I fell asleep in the afternoon. Woke up to find an odd rash on my leg. I still don’t know what it is. I don’t know if it’s my blood disorder acting up or if its just an allergic reaction. I don’t want to go back to the emergency room because i’m scared that it is my blood disorder and I will be hospitalized again. But it could not be I guess. I don’t know. Waiting for Sir to come home and we’ll make a decision on what to do.

I am feeling a bit stronger today. Although because of not knowing what this rash is on my leg I’ve been ordered to take it easy and not do a lot to provide risk of cutting myself in case it it my blood disorder. If I can hang on until tomorrow I can call my hematologist and schedule a CBC blood test to see what my platelet count is and if its low enough he will admit there or it could be something that I don’t have to be hospitalized for. He might be able to treat it outpatient. Ugh, I hate being sick. I will try to write more although here lately nothing kinky has been going on, but I guess just writing helps me to destress.

So I decided that I need to separate my Boxer-business from my D/s blog. So I made a new blog site http://www.hausofboxers.com. So if you like Boxers and wanna hear about me and Sirs adventures in this babysitting/training business, please feel free to go to the site and follow it. I am still setting it up and I just made the first post so be patient for information!

Didn’t really know what to title this piece so D/s I guess will do. Recently our D/s has taken a nose dive. Healthwise I haven’t been good and we’ve been crazy busy in our personal lives. I know that sometimes life takes over and the time for play and D/s takes a back burner. I hate that.

I still call Sir, Sir. I still wear his collar. But I kind of don’t feel worthy of it. I don’t feel submissive enough. I still have some protocols that I have to follow, but I feel like its been a little relaxed and I know it’s because I don’t feel well or because we are too busy. Its kind of making me feel less of a submissive. I think these are things that definitely need to be talked about with Sir. We just have to figure it out and how to make time for our D/s and Play. Its not so much the Play, but the strict protocols I am missing. And I guess doing all that kneeling is not realistic. I don’t’ know maybe it is. It was for us for a while, but then we got busy and I got sick.

Everyone elses D/s around me seems to be going great and I am happy for them. I guess I just need to have the talk with Sir and see where and how we can fit D/s back into our life with our busy schedules and my unpredictable health. I have met so many wonderful people while being on this journey of D/s so I’m sure this is the path that we were meant to be on.

I don’t know, I will follow up this post when I talk to Sir about things.

Sorry I haven’t written much about our D/s or kink here lately. Its kind of taken a small backseat for a minute while we get adjusted to life with 4 Boxers. But I am working on a D/s post related to Play Parties. Hopefully will be able to post it later today.But not only are we boarding the one Boxer but we have to train him has well. So right now I’m having training sessions with three of the Boxers.

Heidi is training for Rally and Novice. Capone is training on his basics, like sit, stay, down and walking nicely on a lead. Armon poor thing is just learning what his name is. So I have to keep straight what I’m working on and with what dog. I try to do at least two training sessions with Heidi a day and three with Armon and Capone. The rest of the time is divided up into feeding them and making sure they get enough exercise. Full time job. But I love doing it. Its not all glamour I mean the puppies poop and you gotta figure out which personalities get along best. Like Heidi, Capone, and Presco can go outside and play together Armon is too small to play. But he can go out with Presco because Presco is gentle with him. Its not that the others fight or anything, they just play a little rough and Armon is too small for all that. Although he doesn’t think so, lol.

So my breeder now wants us to take one of her dogs and board it for at least a month. She will pay us of course and provide the dog food. Furi is a puppy a little younger than Capone. So her and Armon would be a perfect pair together. Sir is a little worried about having 5 dogs in the house. To be honest I’m worried too. But I think we can do it. If we can do 4 and live than 5 shouldn’t be that much of a difference. Plus its me that’s with them the most. I will be expected to board and train this puppy too. If we decided to take Furi on, that would be three puppies.

This is exactly what I want to do after I retire but maybe not so many dogs. We will see and I will understand what my limit it. I think 5 is where we will draw the line. Absolutely no more boarders until we get rid of the others.

Well I think that is all for this post…oh yeah today is Election Day so go exercise your right to vote. You can’t complain about anything if you don’t vote!!!

Well it’s Monday…and I haven’t had my coffee yet. I think writing is a little dangerous right now LOL but I’m going to do it anyway. Maybe watching a the Halloween marathon on AMC will help. Well this weekend was a little busy. I had a submissive’s lunch on Saturday and on Sunday I attended my first SIG Discussion.

I’m so glad that our community has started to have submissive lunches. They are so much fun, we go to a different restaurant every time. It’s great getting to meet other submissives and talk about all the events that are happening. There are so many things happening in 2016, Sir has to choose which ones we are going to attend.

SIG is Special Interest Groups. Its where Dominants, Switches, and submissives get together and discuss a topic. We split up into our separate groups and discuss the topic then we get back together and have a big group discussion. It was my first one. It was pretty awesome. It was very engaging. I met some really cool people and saw some people I already knew. Conversation was great. I still get a little nervous when I have to say that I am a police officer. One of the topics yesterday was “What do you do if the police come to your house?” so I answered as a police officer and what I would accept. They seemed very grateful for my point of view and some didn’t even know that consensual beating was illegal. I will definitely be going to the next one where we will talk about grief.

As far as today is concerned, I’ve been feeling a little weak and tired the past couple of days. Having 3 dogs, it takes a while getting used to. Especially training a new puppy. So today I am going to focus on cleaning the house. Sir has given me some tasks to complete. I also have physical therapy for knee and hip today. Not really a busy day. But I think it is going to be tiring. It takes me twice as long to clean the house as it would a normal person because I have to take breaks. But anyway Happy Monday to all!!

Well, this is probably going to be the only time this week I will be able to blog. I’m taking a last minute trip to Wisconsin. Our newest puppy Capone will be shown in an international show on Saturday and I am going along for the ride. We are leaving Thursday night after his training class. I will meet my breeder at her house in Walton, KY and then we will travel with two cars and I think four or five dogs to Wisconsin. I will be gone three days Thursday-Sunday. Also away from Sir, which I hate but these things have to be done.

In between now and Thursday, I will be training the puppy, doing my regular duties with all three dogs, making sure that my female that was just bred has her vitamins. Make sure that I have enough of my medications to last the whole trip while I’m gone. So I don’t have to get refills while on the road. I also have to leave step by step instructions for Sir on how to take care of the two adults while me and the puppy are gone. I have to pack, and take care of some bills early in the week. I have some last minute doctor’s appointments for myself and some Veterinarian appointments for Capone on Thursday. I have to also get my hair done on Thursday, make sure I’m all packed up, and take Capone to his class at 7:30PM. It takes me an hour to my breeders house. We plan on leaving by 10:00PM. I don’t like driving at night but its best because of all the traffic. We have a total of four drivers so no one has to drive for a long time. It will take us about 9 hours to get to La Crosse.

Wednesday we are going to our local community’s Humpday Coffee and Pie, in the evening, which is always fun. I am going to miss the monthly Slosh and our Skills Workshop and Play party :-(. But luckily there are two more play parties this month and one is on Halloween. I still haven’t decided on a costume, ugh! With everything that happened last week and dealing with all the funeral stuff, I’m still exhausted from all of that. I hate missing events in our community. I think it is very important to be involved in your local kink community.

So with all that explained I probably won’t be hopping on here to write until Sunday when I get back. Don’t worry I will fill you in on every detail of the show and hopefully Mr. Capone will win. So keep your fingers crossed or say a little prayer if thats your thing for Mr. Capone to win. He has a great shot at it.