London and looking to your left

So here I am in London all by myself….I came here to be alone. Isn’t strange that I chose a city with millions of people where I want to be alone?!

I decided I was a bit upside down lately and the best way is to spend some time in a city that is totally upside down. There is no place where you can plug anything to charge battery, you never know where to look when you cross the street, the hotel rooms are so small that you cannot event sit on the toilette with the door closed cause there is no room for your legs….and I am a short guy for the record!

Have you ever felt that you wanna go somewhere and get lost in the crowd? With no plan, no direction, no friends….just spending your days being quiet and just observing the world spin around you. Walking on the streets with no real purpose and without searching for any address in particular.

Most of our life we want a direction, a clear path to go but don’t you feel sometimes very tired of that? Don’t you long for those childhood times and you played careless in the middle of the street? I do. I remember when I used to get so excited about rain and started to jump around getting soaking wet and not caring a bit of what people think, if I got sick or got into trouble. Funny how now we bitch about weather, hide in our cars and never forget our umbrellas home. Now we got complicated hairdo to worry about, make up that will wash off and show our true beauty, clothes that get wet or expensive shoes that get ruined. We care so much…about the wrong things sometimes :(

So I came to London with no plan, except that I have tickets to see and Arsenal game. Even this is not a good plan since I found sits only with the supporters of the other team. Let’s just hope that this experience will not turn bad. If Arsenal will score I will have to employ my best acting skills and pretend I am sad. That will be interesting…

I walk around here and there, looking at things I don’t really see, searching for answers I don’t need. I asked myself if I want to see anything… and I thought and I only want to see myself maybe, to take a good look at what I do and what I feel like doing from now on. Suddenly that felt more complicated than anything else and my sense of direction kicked in and I bought a ticket for Book of Mormon Musical. Can’t just walk around doing nothing. I heard the musical is funny and kind of need funny in my life.

I thought also that life is sometimes just like the Mormon religion… dress the same, speak the same, just follow and don’t think too much, don’t get out of the ordinary. So let’s see what is funny about that dear Book of Mormon Musical!

They also have here in London the best fantasy book store I ever saw, Forbidden Planet. Any book you can imagine you can find there. Strange, I am here for 2 days and still did not pay it a visit. What is wrong with me? Instead, I am sitting here in a Starbucks and writing this depressive crap. By the way, did you know that they have a Starbucks now where they sit you down with a menu, they take your order at the table and also serve wine?! Now this is a direction I might take in my next 2 days here :)

Where is your place you like to hide? Come on, give me some ideas. Where do you feel like nobody can find you, not even the problems in your life?

Or does a foreign faraway place make you feel lonely? Do you think loneliness does not touch you when friends are around? Do you think that all the people that surround you really know you? Will they help you in times of need just because they are so conveniently close? How much you depend on other people for your happiness status?

It is a positive part about being alone in a foreign city. People see you exactly who you are at that point with no bonds to the past. They will not say you used to be so skinny and now you are fat, you grew so old, you used to be so pretty or weren’t you supposed to be a famous singer? They don’t know you so they see you exactly what you are at that point in life. Is almost as a fresh start with no judgment and no expectations. Yup in London nobody will tell me….Marius, you go to see a musical?! Man you should be in one, not go to see one!

Well, If you haven’t been to London than I dare you to drop anything you do right now and buy your flight ticket cause you are missing on life. Go and see all there is to see or simply wonder around like an idiot….just like me. Feel free to dress ugly, swear, eat crap but look to your fucking left cause otherwise you will be dead.