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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Cauliflower Pizza, or How to Fumigate the House

I live with men who pale at the thought of a vegetarian supper (read: ashen and gasping for breath). No way would they even entertain the thought of a cauliflower crust pizza. It happened that I was home alone on a Sunday evening and thought it would be the perfect opportunity to try out the new recipe.

Back in the day, TV recipes almost always produced an embarrassing occasion. Never, ever would we be caught serving and untried TV recipe to company on the Sunday evening! These days, it's when I find a recipe on Facebook that I get in trouble.

The first hurdle I had to clear, was the fact that I have no working food processor. Is this chopped finely enough?

After chopping the cauliflower by hand, to minuscule, tiny pieces, it had to steam for 15 minutes. My entire house reeked of cooking cauliflower. As it turns out, this was the MAJOR drawback of the whole exercise. My second problem is, my house is not equipped with gas masks.

The smell dissipated some, or I became innurured to it. Cheese and basil pesto now wafted through the air. How bad could it be? Pizza is pizza, right? Have a glass of wine and.... You know, I cook with wine. From time to time, I even added to the food.

The moment of truth. I was starving. I couldn't wait until it cooled to became "a foldable pizza crust". Initial reactions were: I need a fork, this is a veggie medley with cheese, it's certainly edible, nothing like pizza! Good thing the guys weren't here. I won't make this one again.

Let's have another glass of wine.

When I woke up burping cauliflower gas at 3am, I decided: I definitely will not be making this again!