Survivor: Man vs. Food

So, I was going to write this recap…but then someone offered me a cupcake and I was like, “OK! I’ll have that instead!”

Man oh man, does it ever irk me when people drop out of an Immunity Challenge to eat food. You’re there to play the game! So play! Do you know how badly I want to be on Survivor? (I’m Canadian, which in reality TV terms is basically like being dirt – you can apply for The Bachelor and that’s about it.) So badly! I would quit my job just to start physically preparing for the game if I were cast! And here these people are, jumping out of a challenge for a lousy cookie.

What happened to Jay (and Kim) last night is a perfect example of why you never step out of a challenge. Jay felt secure enough that he would give up Immunity for chicken wings and beer, but he was trusting the wrong people and wasn’t safe at all. Kim understandably felt secure in her position when she gave up Immunity for cupcakes, but a lot can change in an afternoon. By the time Tribal Council rolled around, her name had been thrown around. I bet she would have felt a lot better had she had that necklace around her neck.

DIY Distaster

Sigh. I hate do-it-yourself challenges. First of all, having Troyzan narrate what’s going on instead of Probst really highlights the skills of Jeff Probst, so if that was his intention then well played, sir. We clearly need you. Second of all, the challenge was super lame.

The tribe split into two teams and then each person threw a rope at a ladder for points. It was pathetic, and since each person only got one try it meant there was no room for improvement. Anyone can flub their first try, so plenty of players didn’t even score.

Troy, Jay, Tarzan, Kat and Alicia ended up winning the reward, which was a BBQ on the beach.

Girl Power!

Meanwhile, the boys are getting nervous about their position in the game while the girls are actually beginning to pity them. “I feel bad because I think deep down they know they made the wrong choice already,” said Kim. Chelsea wasn’t feeling great about her decision to vote the guys out though, since she’d given them her word. Sigh. Chelsea is way too wishy-washy and emotional, I’m SO glad I got Kim in the office pool instead of her. She also gave her word to the ladies, would she rather backstab them? There’s no coming out of the game with clean hands at this point.

The girls had no patience for Chelsea’s feelings, either. “Chelsea got all sensitive,” said Alica. “That really pissed me off.” For once, I actually agreed with Alicia. “Put on your big girl panties and make a big girl decision,” said Sabrina. Ha! I love how far these women have come since the first few days of the game. They’re runnin’ this joint now!

And really, I have no one else to root for. First of all, y’all know I love a strong female alliance. As I said in my recap last week, there have been far too few of them over the years on Survivor. And the men are too stupid to root for! Case in point: Jay saying “I didn’t really want to send Mike home.” Then why did you vote for him, genius?

Jay asked Kat if she’d be OK voting off Alicia next, and she brought in the other gals to confer. They all said yes, but you could tell they were squirming. Jay asked “So can we make that set and not derive from it?” (he meant deviate) but he shouldn’t have trusted them so readily.

Troy wasn’t so quick to believe them. “If the girls were smart — they got six of them — it wouldn’t be that hard to knock off me or Jay.” Good counting, Troy! Did you need an abacus for that? Here’s the thing – the girls are smart. Even Kat knows the ladies should stick together, and she doesn’t know what an appendix is.

Hungry Hungry Hypocrites

Immunity challenge time! And it’s an infuriating one! Well, the players were infuriating. The challenge itself is a favorite – stand barefoot on a small perch with your arm tied to a large bucket of water. Drop your arm, the bucket falls and you’re out. Or, drop out willingly in exchange for food and my eternal judgment of you.

Tarzan was out of this challenge before Probst had even finished saying “This challenge is officially on”. It was pathetic, as was Christina’s performance – she dumped her water over seconds later, before Probst had even revealed the first food temptation.

Sabrina dropped out right away for cookies and milk. Next Kat and Kim dropped out for cupcakes and milk. Sigh. Way to show all your cards, ladies – you always want your opponents to think you’re at least feeling a little vulnerable. Next Alicia bailed for unrevealed food, which was absolutely moronic (yet, not the most moronic thing to happen!). Alicia knew she was supposed to think going home was a possibility. She knows Jay isn’t supposed to know she’s in the alliance. Yet there she is, acting like being voted out isn’t even a slight possibility! And yet, with that important information, Jay still bails for chicken wings and beer.

Props to Troy, who wanted to win but just plain failed. At least he tried. It came down to Chelsea and Leif – and mad props to Chelsea for being the only person in the strong girls’ alliance to stick it out. I might hate her emotional strategic game, but at least she shows up to play in the challenges. And she conned Leif into dropping out of the challenge, telling him that losing would help him look like less of a threat.

I’m sorry, but seriously Leif? Why? You are a dwarf, you do not look like a threat! At least not with Jay and Troy still around. Yet he bought Chelsea’s argument hook, line and sinker. It was absolutely idiotic. Chelsea walked away with a well-earned immunity necklace.

Split Votes

Kim knew there was a chance that one of the guys could have the Immunity Idol, so she decided it would be best to split the votes – the majority would right down Troy’s name, while a few would throw their votes Jay’s way just in case. It was a solid plan, especially if they really did have Tarzan and Leif on board. Why on earth Tarzan and Leif would ever vote the way the girls asked them to, I do not know. I think Tarzan has given up playing and is just lending a helpful hand in strengthening the girls’ alliance. Maybe he is a feminist! (Doubtful.)

It was also smart to vote Troy over Jay because, as the girls pointed out, he’d actually tried to win immunity. Troy loves the game and is trying to win. You know who else is trying to win? Kim. And that means Troy is more of a threat to her than chicken wing loving Jay.

But the drama didn’t stop there. Troy was still very suspicious (and rightly so), so he decided not to leave his fate up to the women he’s aligned with. He’d play his Immunity Idol, just in case. Smart. You know what wasn’t smart? Telling that to Jay, who was still convinced he could trust the women. Now, I know Troy didn’t know that Jay was planning on going final three with Kim and Chelsea. But he knew Jay felt confident about their alliance with the girls, much more confident than he did. So why tell him? Why not just play the Idol and see what happens?

Troy went too far. He told Jay that he was playing the Idol, and he tried to get him to change his vote to Kim. That was too much – Jay wasn’t willing to betray Kim, so he ran and told her about Troy’s plan. And thus, he sealed his fate.

Kim was feeling nervous (and probably regretting those cupcakes) after she heard her name being thrown around, but I think she knew she’d be OK. The votes were cast, Troy played his Idol, and then it got interesting. (Tribal Council itself was much duller than the scrambling that preceded it.)

One vote Kim. Two votes Troy. Two votes Alicia. Five votes Jay. Since Jay gave up the information about the Immunity Idol to Kim, she knew to change around the votes so that a girl definitely wouldn’t go home. She’s a smart cookie, and Jay trusted her way too much.

I can’t wait to see how Troy will react to this next week. I understood why he played the Idol – it would have been a huge risk not to – but now he’s super vulnerable. The girls would be idiots to keep him around any longer than they have to, so if he doesn’t win immunity he should be toast. And what was up with Tarzan and Leif this week? Normally they’re sort of a pair, but Tarzan voted Jay and Leif voted Alicia this week.

Since I am rooting for the girls (and Kim, obviously, since I want to win the pool) I’m hoping they knock the guys off one by one even though it’ll make for a few boring weeks. With the exception of Christina, the girls all seem to be under the impression that they’re going to the final three and I want to see how that shakes out.

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