Shanna Moakler Totes Supports Breastfeeding But Her Own Attempt Was ‘Incestual’ And ‘Gross’

Shanna Moakler isn’t the first mother to encounter a sexualizing hurdle when contemplating whether to breastfeed. The mother of three and ex-wife to Travis Barker says that she opted out because she found it to be “gross.” Free to be you and me and all that but calling herself “selfish” for her decision certainly isn’t necessary.

TMZ seemingly accosted Shanna in an underground parking garage, hurling breastfeeding facts at her as they swarmed her with cameras. But where most of my Mommyish co-workers would have been flipping the bird, Shanna actually participated, admitting that she didn’t breastfeed:

“I just look at my breasts as like sexual, and I think it’s like incestual,” she said. “It’s gross. I don’t like it. I was selfish… I couldn’t do it,” she said. “But I totally support it. I think it’s awesome.”

Try as outlets currently are to frame this Shameful Formula Confession as a full on attack on breastfeeders, I don’t see any slings or arrows here. Just a mother who chose to feed her babies accordingly and then was asked by creepy dudes with cameras to speak about her experience. Sure, she found the practice to be “gross,”incestual,” and “couldn’t do it.” But she was using that language to talk about herself. Not you.

I think she is absolutely entitled to her opinion….I think it’s an opinion that many women also hold, but are too afraid to openly acknowledge for fear of repercussions from “lactivists.”

Lactivist

You mean the fact you’re poisoning your children and destroying the environment with your sick closed-minds and ignorance? Of course you support her! She’s just as stupid as you are.

Justme

Oh, hello there troll! So nice of you to come out from under the bridge.

http://twitter.com/carinnjade Carinn Jade

If anything I just think it’s sad. Definitely no need to go after her, she’s just doing her best with her own baggage.

Justme

But why should not feeling comfortable breastfeeding be considered “baggage?”

http://twitter.com/carinnjade Carinn Jade

I don’t think it has to be. I was referring to her feeling that it was incest — I don’t know her history but I had thought that was some sort of trigger. That word signaled something more (in my mind) than just not feeling comfortable.

Justme

I was never molested and I had that same feeling, but never said that word because of the connotation and I was afraid of how people would react.

http://twitter.com/carinnjade Carinn Jade

Yeah, I think that is a pretty strong word to put together with nursing a baby. Incest is horrific. There are laws against it. It’s one thing to feel forced to have to breastfeed (no one should be) but to link it with incest because of an uncomfortable feeling seems harsh and offensive to survivors of incest (who may or may not be interesting in nursing their own children). Breastfeeding should be a choice, but incest is indefensible and always inappropriate.

Victoria

What she was talking about was a feeling that she was trying to identify. She wasn’t linking it with incest for everyone. Survivors of incest have no reason to feel threatened or invalidated by her comparison, in my opinion.

Justme

I just hate the argument that people who see their breasts as sexual therefore making it uncomfortable to breastfeed have some sort of hang-up or need to go to therapy and grow up. We are all wired differently either naturally or due to circumstances in our lives and if a woman doesn’t want to breastfeed because it makes her uncomfortable, then nothing more needs to be said. I would think forcing an already uncomfortable mother to breastfeed her child would do more harm to the relationship with her child than if she fed by bottle.

http://twitter.com/carinnjade Carinn Jade

Yeah, I never made that argument. In fact I wrote about a parallel issue last week about doctors and psychologists shaming mothers into using the words penis and vulva with their young children. A parent should not be forced to do anything “for the sake of their child” (aside from keeping their child safe) that makes them wildly uncomfortable — and this idea of further shaming them for having those feelings isn’t helping anyone, parent or child.

So I am with you on this.

Justme

I know you didn’t make that argument, but it reminded me of those statements that I’ve heard from people and read online.

http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

But can you really blame her when society sexualizes breasts so much?

Toodles

I agree Carinn. A lot of women grow up with only thinking of their breasts as sexual only. But she could have pumped her breast milk and fed it by bottle. Even if she only gave breast milk for a few weeks all those antibodies which are not in formula would greatly help the babys immune system. Breasts are not just Moms but belong to the baby as well. The milk belongs to the baby. You should breast feed if you can but there are many reasons a woman cannot do so.

Victoria

She could have, but if her past (which is her own business) caused her to feel uncomfortable doing that, she shouldn’t be stoned for it. We are taught -sometimes long after a bad incident or childhood- that our bodies *are* our own. Including our breasts. If we have a child, definitely we try to overcome any sexualization problems. But she couldn’t, and was disarmingly open about her flaw. No harm, no fowl from me.

Simone

I disagree; breasts do not belong to the baby. Breasts belong to adult women, no-one else. I agree that maybe she could have tried expressing, but really, who gives a hoot? It’s her baby, her body, her boobs.

Justme

I believe your statement was supposed to say:

“I agree that maybe she could have tried expressing, but really, who gives a HOOTER?”

SoThisIsIt82

My body, my rules. My body belongs to me, not to my baby. If I CHOOSE to breastfeed, it is choosing to share my body–not giving something that belongs to another. That’s like saying my vagina belongs to my husband because sex is beneficial to my relationship.

KyukiYoshida

No a womans breast are her own, and belong to no one else, not even her baby. No part of a womans body belongs to anyone. That’s like saying a woman’s vagina belongs to a man because they are married.

Lactivist

Because you’re making your children unhealthy and taking away these natural advantages they should have for your own sick pathetic minds and your ignorance.

Lindsey Sweet

I also felt like that; not so much the incestual part of it, but all the rest. And yes, you don’t hear much on it, because people act like your putting your baby in the oven if you actually CHOOSE not to breastfeed.

http://www.facebook.com/courtney.wooten Courtney Lynn

I totally disagree with her BUT, that’s how she feels. There’s nothing anyone can do about that and there’s no reason to chase her down, either. Let her have her opinion, however weird it is. She’s not hurting anyone, really, she isn’t.

Great Mom

I felt the same way she did. Feelings aren’t wrong- if a woman feels uncomfortable with breastfeeding, for WHATEVER reason, it is not going to work for her child.

Good for her for speaking her mind and making a choice that felt right!