Lesbian Sex Tips for Men: Orgasms and Oral Sex

By Playboy.com StaffJanuary 13, 2014

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<p>Jincey Lumpkin, sex expert and a lover of women, gives guys some sex tips from a lesbian perspective. </p>

Are there any sex tricks a
straight man can learn from how lesbians get it on? Are there any sexual
secrets that girls who love girls can clue guys into? Sex advice columnist,
former lawyer, breast lover and lesbian pornographer Jincey Lumpkin, Esq. says
yes! Here are Jincey’s insights for men on oral sex techniques and how to give
your girl some prime orgasms.

Playboy.com: My girlfriend doesn’t come from the ole rabbit-rabbit-shoulder. How can I make her orgasm?

Jincey Lumpkin: That’s not surprising. I went to a workshop recently where I learned masturbation techniques from the legendary Betty Dodson. Betty’s motto is “clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration!” There’s not really much, if any, clitoral stimulation during missionary position. But the problem goes far beyond that. There is a ridiculous amount of pressure about simultaneous orgasms. It’s not necessary to orgasm at the same time! In fact, it’s extremely difficult to do this. It’s hard to focus!

Don’t worry so much about making your partner come with your cock. It may shock you to know, but women don’t always understand their own bodies either. The best place to start is by asking her what she likes. But you might not find out your answer. With a lack of education about sex and a tremendous amount of shame about sexuality, it’s often hard for us women to even verbalize what we like.

Therefore, you might have to do some exploring to find out. Transport yourself back to junior high school. Remember how fucking arousing it was just to put your hand on a girl’s thigh? How achingly awesome it felt to push slowly up the inside of her leg and finally feel the seam line on her panties? Live there. Try to recapture that feeling from youth about everything being fresh and new.

Look, the truth is that we all have “lesbian sex” until we lose our virginity. All that hot dry-humping? Lesbian sex! Finger-banging? Lesbian sex! See how it’s not so strange and so foreign anymore?

(Courtesy Jincey Lumpkin, photo by Dennis Ho)

Playboy.com: Any “secrets” for cunnilingus for men?

Lumpkin: Oh, yes. Actually, I never even liked oral sex until just a few months ago, so I’m serving up some fresh, test-driven lesbian secrets!

Okay, so for me, I just “didn’t get it.” I didn’t feel much when women went down on me. Sometimes it even hurt a little bit, and I certainly couldn’t come. Here is how I overcame these issues.

First, I have to be really turned on before oral starts. For me, I love it when she bites my neck. Making out turns me on. I lose my damn mind when she breathes in my ear. I’m already good and wet before she even makes her way past my waist.

Second, licking is not always what works for me. I love it when she kisses my clit. I don’t mean like a “soft kiss.” I’m talking about a wet French kiss. She makes out with my pussy. Her lips touch me, move away, go back. Her tongue comes in, out, back. She presses her chin against me, brings it back. There are varying sensations, friction levels and degrees of pressure. That seems to work better for me than licking in one motion.

Third, in order to come during oral sex, I also need penetration, so after a few minutes I ask her to put her fingers inside me. She usually starts with two and works up to four or five.

Four, after she has her fingers in and we’re deep into the process, consistency is key. I get into a groove and I just start to feel really engaged in the sex. I usually say, “Don’t stop, don’t stop.” And pretty soon after that I have a strong orgasm. If the orgasm is really hard, I need her to take her fingers out immediately and stop touching my clit right away. My post-orgasm pussy has to have a minute to take a breath!

Jincey Lumpkin, Esq. is the “Chief Sexy Officer” of Juicy Pink Box. She’s a former lawyer, a diva and a lover of breasts. She pens sex columns in both The Huffington Post and Curve Magazine. Known as “Lesbian Hugh Hefner,” Jincey is widely recognized as an expert in women’s sexuality, having lectured at TEDx & Harvard University. Out Magazine named her “one of the most influential gay people in the world.” Follow her on Twitter @JuicyJincey.