Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

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Woman Wins ‘Psychic’ Contest

I didn’t know that there was such a thing as the International Battle Of The Psychics, but if anyone shows up other than the winner, I think the whole thing is a fraud (because the others should have known they were going to lose). And I had to laugh when I read the start of this article about the woman who won last year.

June Field, a 53-year-old widow, karate expert, euphonium player and the ‘world’s greatest psychic’ is perched on the edge of a slippery faux leather sofa in her Dundee semi.

She is breathing in the smell of scented candles, telling me to sit up straight because otherwise she can’t see my ‘energy’ properly and is poised to give me one of her world-class readings.

‘I’m just going to sit in your vibration for a little while,’ she says. ‘But before I begin, there’s a lady who’s been popping in and out all morning. She’s got a big smiley face, she’s quite robust — and she’s what we call the “door-opener”. Ooh, I can feel people pulling all around you . . .’

Come on, that’s just plain funny. If you don’t sit up straight I can’t see your “energy”? Comedy gold. The competition, by the way, is judged in part by fake ‘psychic’ Uri Geller. Because that’s credible.

June, meanwhile, is a medium — passing messages between this world and the next with the help of four spirit ‘guides’ or ‘angels’.

‘My job is to prove that people don’t die — that they’re living on the other side and are still connected with you.’

Prove. You keep using that word…

And finally, what about the money — the £19,000 prize money she was hoping to spend on her son, a new boiler and some time off?

It turns out that, somehow, thanks to a dodgy-sounding clause in the small print of her contract, STB can choose whether to pay out or not. And, in this case (rumour has it because she was not Ukrainian), they have chosen not to.

Poor June. What a blow.

What a shock, a competition about fraud is, itself, fraudulent. She should have seen it coming.

Comments

‘I’m just going to sit in your vibration for a little while,’ she says. ‘But before I begin, there’s a lady who’s been popping in and out all morning. She’s got a big smiley face, she’s quite robust — and she’s what we call the “door-opener”. Ooh, I can feel people pulling all around you . . .’

seem really dirty?

I mean, there’s women I’d want to sit in my vibration for a little while (or longer…). Maybe not June Field, though.

It turns out that, somehow, thanks to a dodgy-sounding clause in the small print of her contract, STB can choose whether to pay out or not. And, in this case (rumour has it because she was not Ukrainian), they have chosen not to.

However, as compensation, they are going to present her with twice the amount of the prize money when she gets to the other side.

You know, something just occurred to me. Psychics who refuse to take Randi’s $1 million challenge frequently make an objection which has always sounded strange. They say they won’t bother to be tested because they don’t believe Randi has the money. No, he’s lying. There is no million dollars.

Of all the concerns they could come up with, the fact that this one is common has puzzled me. I mean, it’s not that hard for someone who has been successful in show business and who has a large foundation to raise that kind of money for a cause which gets a lot of publicity. It’s not an extraordinary claim. Expressing extreme skepticism on this particular issue looked random, as if they’re lamely groping for any excuse and aren’t particularly imaginative.

But maybe there’s a fair number of them who’ve had the personal experience of being burned. Is that possible?

And, in this case (rumour has it because she was not Ukrainian), they have chosen not to.

Yeah, I’m sure it’s her lack of Ukranianness (Ukranianity?) that led them to not paying. It couldn’t possibly be because there was never a £19,000 to begin with, the whole thing was a fraud, and the predator has become the prey in what was an obvious bamboozling of a bunch of people who are bamboozlers themselves.

@2 – it sounded scatological to me. If someone told me “‘I’m just going to sit in your vibration for a little while,” my first thought would be “the silent toot I let out when I was sitting in your seat must not have been that silent.”

Also known as the Keymaster, for Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

Moggie, I award you my internet for the day. I’ve never seen that monologue printed out, and I read a full sentence before I realized what it was. If anything, it is loonier written out than spoken. And now I’ve had my major LOL of the day. Thanks!

@Sastra #5: I’m not sure where to look this up, but I recall Randi saying in one of his talks that the $1 million is in the form of an insurance contract through Lloyd’s of London, rather than being a dedicated amount parked in an account somewhere. That’s an even less extraordinary claim, considering some of the things Lloyd’s has insured against.

That’s actually standard procedures for contests that feature a large cash prize. It may even be required by law in some jurisdictions. It reduces the risk to the contest holder and prevents fraud. For example, the contest holder can’t get out of paying by declaring bankruptcy.

STB has been really clever in writing their contract. The Vibrations that I’m picking up suggest that they have recently taken to watching Bugs Bunny and Road Runner cartoons for inspirations in subtle deception and misdirection.

Yes, folks, they’ve used a Portable Hole.

Poor June, on the other hand, must have labored so long and so hard in her helpless and hopeless attempt to become a real, Real! Loony Toon.

So she tours the country giving public demonstrations in town halls and civic centres, travels to the U.S. and Canada at least twice a year for work and can manage up to four half-hour, £60 readings a day (‘but not every day’) before she feels too depleted and tearful.

Even before taxes that is way more for 2 hours than I make for a 7.4 hr working day. For that money I’m willing to sit on your vibrator.

The sad thing is that so many folks that are vulnerable and desperate pay this bogus waste of space wads of cash just to to be convinced and think that they have a continuing and an ongoing relationship with their departed loved ones.

It is the scam that hides behind semi-religious over tones and that protects it…it is a natural camouflage.

What could possibly be more excepted then a t’uppenny ha’penny imagined rip off pretending righteous roots.
And the greatest rip off in the history of humanity smiles benignly and feels a sense of smugness and all knowing Savoir faire and give the scam a tacit nod and a wink…they even have a pretend institution within the theist camp that deals with errant and ‘evil’ spirit manifestations, to the point os bogus made up ceremonies to rid the ‘demons’ and ‘spirits’ that they can ‘apparently’ tell from hysterical psychosis.
When was the last time anyone ever heard a leader of a religious cult ever condemn this utter criminality…never because it is to closely allied to their scam that is why!