The Walk She walked along the beach as the sun was rising. The day was going to be hot so the water felt cool on her feet as she moved down the sand. The air was fresh and it tinged with salt. The few birds...
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My Darling Daughter. My dear girl it is so amazing to watch you grow.
I never knew there could be so much joy in your discovery of who you are.
You light up my life and bring me such happiness. To see your f… [more]

His Hands My Hair...ahhhh I love to lay in his arms as his hands stroke my head.
I don't Know why but it always makes me feel so soft and wonderful.
His hands are big and cover the side of my head and I feel safe… [more]

If Only I Remembered Attitude Counts! The longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, t… [more]

There is something so special about being free to explore new things and new parts of yourself you either never saw or never understood. It is a beautiful thing. I must confess that I never thought this level of peace was attainable. I saw it very rarely in others but never thought it was for everyone to experience. It is for everyone you just have to find it and allow it. The right person needs to open the door and show you the way. it is about trust and belief and love. There is so much to these that give our lives meaning. Allowing someone inside you is difficult but well worth the journey. Once you do you can be free to share it all and have the security in knowing there are no secrets… [more]

I can't believe this, it's so real and hot in my gut. It's something so new to me but now I understand him so much better. It is ripping me a part and filling me with so much I cannot describe. I am unsure of everything, lost, dazed and confused and questioning myself. I never knew what this was till this moment. My understanding of him and all his questions is now real and such a part of me. I cannot believe I did not see this before. For this I caused in you I'm so sorry. I could never have felt this before or understood your pain till now. I get it and I am so sorry. I was so wrong to have caused this terrible pain In you. I will never cause this ever again because I can't live with it … [more]

To set things right. To look in your eyes and say how badly I blew it. How I now look and see what a terrible horrible thing I did and how awful I was. I stumbled in my growth and when I stumbled I went ahead and fell all the way down. It wasn't good, it wasn't nice but even out of this good can come. I can now say I saw new things about me and I get it, and I would never have seen them before. My weakness and my faults and the way I can get. I can say I learned something very valuable and I can say I am sorry and look you in the eyes and mean it from the depths of me. I didn't reach out for help I just lashed put. I didn't trust in your strength I doubted it. I didn't ask for your help … [more]

I made a huge mistake...no not even a mistake because a mistake is something you don't choose and I chose my path. I was given ample opportunities to correct my actions and I chose to keep going down the wrong path. Now as I sit here in the puddle of destruction I created I look at it and wonder what the hell I was thinking. My problem is that I wasn't thinking...it was my old self rearing it's ugly head and I was reacting. I was fighting my Demons and in the wrong way. I doubted myself and so that fed my demons and allowed them to regain in strength and next thing I know they have reasserted themselves today. I blew the trust of the only person that ever mattered to me over non issue. T… [more]

I feel like I spend all my time looking deep inside me to see who I'm and what changes I'm making. I'm always looking inside, studying and trying so hard to know who I Am as it is changing so quickly these days. I haven't been able to stand up and see me yet because I'm always afraid of what I say what I do and struggling so hard to keep the old me dead. But what happens when the support I have doesn't support? What happens when the doubts begin to creep in and the questions arise out of old habit and nothing I say or do can make it better. This is where my searching takes me. I have to keep pressing forward inspite of it all because I love the new me. I love the changes that are occurring,… [more]

Forest you got it right. Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get till you open it and take a bit. Sometimes you take a bite and get the most delicious flavor, it fills you and surprises you. Then other times you take a bit and it's nuttiness is powerful and filling and delightful. Then there are times you bite straight into a turd that is covered in chocolate and disguised to look yummy. But whatever you get you can always start over tomorrow because it is a new day and it is quite an adventure worth tasting! … [more]

Today is just another day. It just seems like I am missing so much out of this life. I'm not where I want to be. I'm not who I want to be and I don't know how to get there. When I was younger my life was full of adventure. I traveled everywhere saw so many wonderful and not so wonderful things. But then I settled down, tried to control my life a little. Settled into a family and work, went to school got educated and I'm seeing nothing for this hard work. It is so annoying and now I am so restless. I ask myself why did I settle down,why did I take out such huge loans to get a masters degree and to work so hard in my company when they just don't want to get bigger, reach higher and be success… [more]

Death is an important subject...one I don't fully understand. I don't fear death because I think my sense of time is messed up. So from what I get is that people are somewhere inside them afraid to die...they live with a small memory of this fear and some peoples lives dictated by this....now some people not so much and they live on the edge but I think it's because they need that adrenaline rush and want to fear death so they push the envelope....I never even think about it. So my daily interactions don't ever involve the fear of death...this plays such an important part of why I don't think about aids, guns killing me, approaching the wrong person and being killed, car accidents or any ot… [more]