my god … it's full of stars

What happens is that when the weekend comes I think, “Oh…I’ve been good all week and now I can eat what I want.” Which basically means that I stuff my face full of cheese and bread and scrambled eggs. And then when Monday shows up I feel guilty about how I ate over the weekend. And for me, guilt over food always ends up in my eating more food.

I think the most important thing for me — far more important than actually losing weight — is figuring out my relationship with food. I have no idea why I react to it the way that I do and somehow it has got to change.

Yet another goddamn thing to work on.

And I re-read the rules for the Bally thing and I think I really might do it. Could end up being a really good thing for me.