In this corner we have Clint, a parody of a parody, standing a little over 3'6" feet tall, weighing 30 pounds, the most dangerous of the Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters. Proficient with guns and blades, possessing infra-red sunglasses and a cranky attitude, destroyer of radioactive evil dolls, killer of gunsels and ninjas and passersby, destroyer of the Statue of Liberty, professional wrestling tag-team member, and full-on partier.

In the other corner we have Rocket Raccoon, named after a Beatles song, about the same size, also furry and cranky and willing to shoot first and ask questions later, former chief security officer of a looney bin, an excellent tactician, possessing sensitive senses, and not unwilling to have a good time as long as he can simultaneously complain.

Which diminutive disgruntled fuzzy terror will outshoot and outlast the other?

Knowing I know nothing about these guys i'm going w/ rocket racoon soley based on his forum talk and his ability to fly (so says his power stats on comicvine). He also isn't in bad company as a guardian of the galaxy,

Aw, no love for Clint? I think they're actually pretty even here. Clint definitely has his own awesomeness! (Shown here: a little battle prowess and a lot of random awesomeness. You need 3D glasses for some of these!)

Clint also has a fair amount of toon force, but let's ignore that in this battle.

@turoksonofstone said:

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

Rocket Raccoon

Being from the Space and better armed and all..

Would you say he's better armed? I mean, he's more futuristically armed, but I doubt a standard laser gun (based on how they tend to be used in comics and movies etc.) has a faster rate of fire than an uzi, which can shoot 600 rounds per minute, or 10 rounds per second, and I also doubt that a laser beam would do more damage than a .44 magnum bullet, which doesn't just drill a clean burn hole in you, it wrecks the flesh and bone. I'd rate their weapons about equal myself.

@sandiego008 said:

Knowing I know nothing about these guys i'm going w/ rocket racoon soley based on his forum talk and his ability to fly (so says his power stats on comicvine). He also isn't in bad company as a guardian of the galaxy,

I'm actually familiar with the ARBBH Clint doesn't have the feats to take RR.

They went back and forth, for sure. Sometimes they were fairly inept, but in other situations they, and especially Clint, did pretty well. Consider when they fought the radioactive dolls, he plowed through tons of them. Or more especially in his miniseries, he took out a room full of armed gangsters, plus sumo wrestlers, ninjas, a robot dog. He was pretty competent there.

Hey comic people...I was doing a random Google search for "Black Belt Hamsters" and came across your recent post with surprised delight. I wrote and created the ARBBH, and wasn't even aware there were forums like these with mock battles. I slightly remember the Mike Mignola drawn Rocket Raccoon mini-series for Marvel back in the day, and I liked it. (I actually met Mike before he went pro and bought a lot of his original drawings at Northern California comic cons back in the 1980's) Anyways, I guess RR is part of the Guardians of the Galaxy now at the begging of Star-Lord? That's a cool import of a funny animal back into the Marvel Universe.

In my mind, here's how a "Clint" vs. "Rocket Raccoon" battle would go down. They would have gotten into a scuffle over a hot blonde girl they were both dating without prior knowledge. The battleground would have been in a cozy Italian Restaurant, because the girl was so ditzy she got confused she told both rodents to come meet her for dinner at the same time. Initially, both heroes come unarmed, dressed for a romantic date, and Clint quickly has the upper hand as he is a master in hand to hand (or paw to paw) combat, being a black belt and all and having extra strength from radioactive jello exposure. Clint has Rocket Raccoon in a suffocating choke hold in the middle of a totally destroyed Italian bistro, and all of the patrons are covered in red sauce and noodle bits. Rocket Raccoon manages to get a hold of a stale loaf of sourdough bread and pokes Clint in the eye, as his visor has come off in the scuffle. Both animals have a fencing match with 2 foot long stale loaves of bread until nothing but handfuls of hardened dough nubs remains in their fists.

Rocket knows if he has any chance of surviving, he needs to get his laser pistols out in his BMW parked street side, so he makes a run for it, but not before Clint manages to throw a stainless steel salad fork in RR's bottom (Clint has throwing star kills). Rocket pulls the fork out, grimacing, but only in-fur-iated (fur...get it?) all the more to kick Clint's butt! He gets to his car and gets his laser pistols out. Meanwhile, Clint grabs his date to leave in his KIA Soul, but Rocket shoots out the rear tires of his vehicle, melting them, and Clint crashes into a Indian Shish-Ka-Bob food cart vendor, and his air bags deploy. A little dazed, Clint grabs his trusty .44 Magnum and prepares to face Rocket Raccoon in a showdown in the street like a duel scene out of "High Noon".

I'm going to let you finish how you think the rest of the battle goes down and then give you my take on it. Obviously, more people are going to be familiar with Rocket Raccoon due to his being published by Marvel, but I submit for your consideration that you read the free 10 page previews of the Clint: The Hamster Triumphant mini-series #1 and #2 available on Wowio.com here, before you assume Rocket is a shoo-in to win.

Oops...I just re-read Owie's original post that this fight takes place in the Star Wars Cantina, not an Italian Restaurant. I guess that my battle takes place in a parallel universe, although the fight logistics can work just as well in the Star Wars Cantina. Just substitute "hot blue three-breasted alien girl" for "hot blonde", and "landspeeders" for "BMW" and "Kia Soul". There. All better.

Hey comic people...I was doing a random Google search for "Black Belt Hamsters" and came across your recent post with surprised delight. I wroteed and creat the ARBBH, and wasn't even aware there were forums like these with mock battles. I slightly remember the Mike Mignola drawn Rocket Raccoon mini-series for Marvel back in the day, and I liked it. (I actually met Mike before he went pro and bought a lot of his original drawings at Northern California comic cons back in the 1980's) Anyways, I guess RR is part of the Guardians of the Galaxy now at the begging of Star-Lord? That's a cool import of a funny animal back into the Marvel Universe.

In my mind, here's how a "Clint" vs. "Rocket Raccoon" battle would go down. They would have gotten into a scuffle over a hot blonde girl they were both dating without prior knowledge. The battleground would have been in a cozy Italian Restaurant, because the girl was so ditzy she got confused she told both rodents to come meet her for dinner at the same time. Initially, both heroes come unarmed, dressed for a romantic date, and Clint quickly has the upper hand as he is a master in hand to hand (or paw to paw) combat, being a black belt and all and having extra strength from radioactive jello exposure. Clint has Rocket Raccoon in a suffocating choke hold in the middle of a totally destroyed Italian bistro, and all of the patrons are covered in red sauce and noodle bits. Rocket Raccoon manages to get a hold of a stale loaf of sourdough bread and pokes Clint in the eye, as his visor has come off in the scuffle. Both animals have a fencing match with 2 foot long stale loaves of bread until nothing but handfuls of hardened dough nubs remains in their fists.

Rocket knows if he has any chance of surviving, he needs to get his laser pistols out in his BMW parked streetside, so he makes a run for it, but not before Clint manages to throw a stainless steel salad fork in RR's bottom (Clint has throwing star kills). Rocket pulls the fork out, grimacing, but only in-fur-iated (fur...get it?) all the more to kick Clint's butt! He gets to his car and gets his laser pistols out. Meanwhile, Clint grabs his date to leave in his KIA Soul, but Rocket shoots out the rear tires of his vehicle, melting them, and Clint crashes into a streetside Indian Shish-Ka-Bob vendor, and his air bags deploy. A little dazed, Clint grabs his trusty .44 Magnum and prepares to face Rocket Raccoon in a showdown in the street like a duel scene out of "High Noon".

I'm going to let you finish how you think the rest of the battle goes down and then give you my take on it. Obviously, more people are going to be familiar with Rocket Raccoon due to his being published by Marvel, but I submit for your consideration that you read the free 10 page previews of the Clint: The Hamster Triumphant mini-series #1 and #2 available on Wowio.com here, before you assume Rocket is a shoo-in to win.

www.wowio.com/users/product.asp?BookId=1942

www.wowio.com/users/product.asp?BookId=1943

Have fun!

Don Chin

https://www.facebook.com/donaldchin

Holy Cow! Wassup Don Chin!

I just got through writing all the wiki articles for the Hamsters recently and it inspired me to do this battle. I was a huge Hamster fan back in the day, and had a lot of fun re-reading them in the last few weeks as I prepped for writing the wiki. (I'm missing a few of the old issues and don't have the newer ones so the wiki pages aren't totally comprehensive.) One funny thing I noticed when I was re-reading them was that the owner of my local comics shop (Beachhead) when I was a kid apparently wrote the fake blurbs on the back of 3D#1, which I had had no idea of before.

Honestly, there are very few creators I would really care to say anything to, but ARBBH was a huge blast for me as a teen and the self-aware nature of the comic actually really influenced me as an artist, so it is really super cool to me that you commented in here. Thanks!

My mind is blown. I'm normally kind of a laid-back writer in here, but I am full-on excited.

Anyway, I agree, Clint in the Hamster Triumphant is a fairly tough dude and Rocket is not going to put him away easily.

Pleased to meet you, Owie. I am always flattered by ARBBH compliments I receive to this day. Just the other week a fan sent me this original painting of CLINT he made.

Are you doing comics and/or art these days?

Are you on Facebook? If so, feel free to send me a friend request at the link at the bottom of my first post. I made some typos in my posts that I couldn't correct, or maybe I might be senile, LOL. I love the way the internet can quickly connect folks with similar interests. Have a great day, Owie!

Pleased to meet you, Owie. I am always flattered by ARBBH compliments I receive to this day. Just the other week a fan sent me this original painting of CLINT he made.

Are you doing comics and/or art these days?

Are you on Facebook? If so, feel free to send me a friend request at the link at the bottom of my first post. I made some typos in my posts that I couldn't correct, or maybe I might be senile, LOL. I love the way the internet can quickly connect folks with similar interests. Have a great day, Owie!

Thanks, I'll do that. You can edit posts by hovering your mouse over the lower right corner of the post you want to edit; options to reply/quote/edit/delete/flag will appear. If you want to reply directly to someone else, hover over the corner of their post and quote or reply will appear.

I don't do comics, although I had wanted to when I was younger. But finally I had to admit I just couldn't draw well enough; or at least in a way that I was happy with. So I dispensed with all that drawing stuff and now I'm a conceptual and performance artist.

It was a really engaging series, you could tell it you guys had fun doing it. It had a great anarchic spirit. Great talking with you.