10 Things Writers Say That Just Aren’t True

We’re writers. It’s a known fact that writers are pretty mysterious creatures whose lives are the stuff of myths and legends. What do writers actually do? What do they think? It’s a great mystery.

So we’re here to debunk some of that mystery. Why? Well, we feel we should be honest with you, blogglings. Writers often say things that just aren’t true.

Except for us. We’re practically perfect in every way of course.

Oh, and just so you know, we make fun of things…buuut we’re totally nice people.

– people think i’m crazy and insaneCAIT: Don’t mistake “crazy” for having different interests. We call people “soccer crazy” and “music crazy” and “art crazy”…but yet when we say authors are “crazy” we actually mean straight-jackets-and-asylums-crazy. Whyyyy?!

MIME: The thing is, everyone’s crazy about something. And people are always going to think passionate people are weird, because passionate people are happy, and that makes them unusual.CAIT: Plus most people don’t really think you’re anything. They just ignore you. Worm.

MIME: BURN.

– i need coffee/tea to write

MIME: Tea is weird, coffee is worse. I kid you not, I drink neither.CAIT: THAT’S IT. YOU’RE OUT OF THE HERD. I love coffee. I like the smell. I like the taste. I like it when it’s mixed with ice cream and given to me in large quantities. Can I write without it? Yes. It’s too distracting, anyway.

MIME: Yeah, and if you give a writer coffee, chances are you’ll have to tie them to the chair, anyway. Hyperactive writer? You don’t want that.CAIT: Especially if you have a short attention span (like me). Coffee will NOT help.

MIME: And do you know how difficult it is to have a hot drink while you’re writing? Because if I actually get some writing done (shocker) chances are, I’ll forget about my drink.

– i never go outside and exercise CAIT: Frankly, if this were 100% true…you’d be incredibly unhealthy. Isn’t that right, Mime?

MIME: There is nothing wrong with the Great Indoors. It’s a wonderful, safe place where you are extremely unlikely to get sunburn.CAIT: That’s why I make you exercise, Mime. I have you fetch things for me all the time.

MIME: Woof.

– i never go to bed/ need sleepCAIT: Remember that time you stayed up all night writing, Mime?

MIME: Was that the time you bought me a pet pig with wings? And we ate a litre of ice cream each?CAIT: Maybe you should have just stuck with the first example, because we could actually do that ice cream challenge…. BUT NO. It’s very hard to stay up all night writing! Why? Because it’s very hard to stay for 15 minutes writing.

MIME: Who has that kind of concentration?CAIT: Squirrel??

– i read a lot

CAIT: Well, actually, I do.

MIME: LIAR!CAIT: Get back witch. I’ve read 60 books this year. How many have YOU read?!

MIME: Yeah, but you haven’t been writing all this year, have you?CAIT: You avoided my question.

MIME: So did you.CAIT: Peasant. Well, it IS hard to find time to read if you’re writing. Balancing the two? Ha ha. Not likely. Well, except for me of course. I do everything and I do it all perfectly. I’m amazing.

MIME: Someone get the kryptonite.

– my book is full of symbolism

MIME: Here’s a fun fact. The best scenes, those ones that you adore? The author had no idea they were coming. Actually, that’s not true, because I’m not every author ever. But I think a lot of the time, inspiration is unexpected, and the reader always loves truly inspired writing best. It’s so much more emotional.CAIT: Well, my books are full of symbolism, aren’t they Mime? There was the scene with the apple.

MIME: Yeah. It’s a symbol of your eternal hunger.CAIT:

– i’m so proud of my poetic prose but my writing sucks

MIME: Writers are one of two things: extremely proud, or incredibly insecure.CAIT: You’re insecure.

MIME: And you’re incredibly proud?CAIT: Why, yes, dear, but you’re getting off topic. A lot of time when we writers ask for opinions on our work, we phrase it like this: “Oh can you read my piece of writing that I’m so proud of?! Please…I know it sucks and is unedited…buuut, read it anyway?”

MIME: Oooh, don’t mind me, I’m just fishing for compliments….CAIT: Half the time we HAVE edited it. We DO think it’s awesome. We just want you to agree. Because we’re insecuuuuuuure. Don’t know what for! Turning heads when you walk through the —

MIME:

– my characters/books are like my childrenCAIT: If this were true, we’d be calling the police. YOU ARE LIABLE FOR MURDER OF YOUR BABIES, YOU ANIMAL.

MIME: Well, when you put it like that…CAIT: Besides, I don’t think of my 50-year-old characters as “my children”. And also, how can you be in love with your characters and also have them as children? This is fundamentally wrong.

MIME: You’re in love with your characters? Aren’t most of them deranged killers?CAIT: Shhh. My baby psychos will hear you.

– i have writers blockCAIT: Correction. You have procrastination.

MIME: It’s amazing how similar the two are. The moment the writing starts to not work, everything else is suddenly really important. But an answer to a lot of writer’s blocks? Sitting down and “skipping” ahead by writing really roughly where it doesn’t work until it smooths out a bit.CAIT: She speaks truth. (Don’t let it get to your head, Mime.) But writer’s block is 90% internet and 10% actual block. But wait! I’m not saying writers block doesn’t exist. It does! It’s just we usually use it as a whiny phrase instead of knuckling down and blowing up some words.

– i love writingCAIT: I hate writing.

MIME: But that is only mostly true. See, if you weren’t passionate about writing, you’d have given up a long time ago. It’s too much work for something with no reward.CAIT: I was going to say money….

MIME: Unfortunately, we found out money isn’t a good reason to write.CAIT: I hate writing.

MIME: But writing gives the writer a rush. I don’t know which part of the process. It’s different for everyone. There’s the feeling of words under your fingers, or having written, or having people enjoy your writing, or being remarkable simply because you write. Or the whole “Rise My Glorious Creation” thing.

CAIT: Aw, well, I guess writing is okay sometimes. But I don’t know any writers who LOVE writing all of the time. Most of us just hop around the Internet, clicking on GIFs and pretending that’s social networking.

MIME: Is that what you do with your time?CAIT: Of course not.

are there any more myths about what writers say that you want to debunk? any of these you don’t agree with? and writers speak up! what do you think? discuss! HUZZAH.

Cait thinks Mime laughs like a psychotic maniac. It’s kind of scary. Sometimes she feels the need to hide while Mime laughs. Cait is concerned that this laugh is indication of things to come….Mime is nearly 16. Do laughs summon vampires? Get the garlic.

Comments

LOL! Best post I've read all day. This is absolutely hilarious, especially that last one and the one about never reading books. i love my coffee even though my mum has restrained me from it for the last few weeks 🙁 but I did buy one the other day on my way to school, ehehe. Lovely post, girls! <33

Every time I read your blog, I'm left wondering why y'all don't have a million or so followers? And I'm left wishing y'all posted several times a day. I can't think of another blog I've ever enjoyed as much as yours. Is this kinda like fangirling over a blog? I don't even have a clue… And the crazy thing is, I've probably read one of the books you've mentioned on your blog during the past year. Or maybe, maybe two. Yeah. I'm really into your genre. 🙂 That should show you how much I like y'alls writing style.

Exactly. We should have a million followers. We should have a million followers who send us regular presents of chocolate cake with coffee icing (we're specific, also). XD Also, can I just say THAT THIS COMMENT TOTALLY MADE ME DAY. NO MAKE THAT MY WEEK.

I agree with you 100% Aidyl 🙂 These amazing girls deserve a prize for being the most brilliant awesome bloggers in the blogosphere.And, Cait? Please, please, PLEASE, never stop blogging. The highlight of waking up in the morning for me is knowing there's going to be a new post on Notebook Sisters to laugh over. (Yes, I'm that sad.) Your wit and craziness (good craziness) never fails to amaze me. Keep up the good work!And Mime! Come back! I know you're busy with school but I miss your posts. :)Erk. What a freaky comment.

You two should write posts together more awesome 🙂 reminds me of me and my sister. These are all so true! I don't like coffee and I only drink Thai tea (it's delicious). And a lot of the time I hate writing as well. I do, however, enjoy reading what I've written. IMPRESSIVE READING EFFORT BTW. I've managed not to either write or read much this year…oops…

DO YOU HEAR THIS, MIME?! READ THIS RIGHT HERE. Heeeh, Mime is a very busy person which is why we do less of these then we used to. School. Music. Episodes of Supernatural. You know, it all catches up. x)Thai tea is one of the great wonders of mankind. I like to READ and drink tea/coffee at the same time. That's entirely plausible because you only need one hand for a book.

I hate that coffee / tea one! I swear nearly every writer says that, as though they need it to function. YOU DO NOT, PEOPLE. YOU DO NOT. Water, water is what you need to function (says a frappuccino addict like myself)

They do! And you're right! IT'S WATER THAT IS LIFE. I've heard that most humans are dehydrated, they just don't know it. And drinking lots of water actually helps disband writers block. (I found that out while…having writers block and procrastinating.)

Since me and my sister are on a "let's watch one/two years of TV in three days" spree (and our current show is Young Justice), the kryptonite thing…(Tea is underrated. It's yummy. Why isn't it just rated? Why isn't anyone just whelmed? Is aster the opposite of disaster? OK, now I'm getting TOO weird here…)

Mime and me are currently doing just that with SPN. We're wonderful. And our eyeballs will probably fall out, BUT HEY. Life's short. Tea is…eh. I still think it tastes like burnt water. I DO. I'm not a tea lover. Mime is. She likes it so much she steals people's mugs. The only thing I like tea for is warming my hands when it's cold. WEIRDNESS FITS FINE AROUND HERE.

This post is so cute!!! And so funnly accurate about a writer's life… I like how you said 'writer's block' is actually 90% procrastination. Oh yes, that it. Hear, Hear!And characters being our babies… I think they are more like alternate people I'd like to live in if I could… you know. I don't know. I am not making any credible sense so I will shut up. But anyhow… you are so much fun, girls – thanks for debunking our myths!Blessings,Joy @ joy-live4jesus.blogspot.com

I know what you mean about alternate friends. Absolutely! If I could hang out with some of my characters, I'd have the best social life ever. Except for that person… and that one… they might try and hurt me. Hmm.

A lot of these are true. I do drink coffee a lot because I'm not naturally hyperactive. I've had too much on occasion (I also prefer it cold) that my fingers are hopping up to the wrong row on the keyboard and adding in a lot of unneeded spaces, but I get over it. Hyperactive actually helps me when I can occasionally manage it. When I was younger, writing action scenes, I sometimes had to get up and make a lap around the house thinking about my sword fight or whatever because it made me jumpy, but I like to think the energy got on the page.

Ooh, that's a good point! I should try that! (My actions scenes are usually like, "He hit her. She screamed. The light blinked, and she smacked him in the face." Not exactly energetic.) I should definitely give that shot. Maybe give myself a sugar rush?

HAHAHA! OMG 🙂 You two are hilarious! One of the best posts I've read today. You sure got my chuckling and giggling. I've actually seen so many of these things being posted on authors' twitter accounts, especially with the book being their baby and and with their wanting coffee all the time. I do know one author though WHO READS A LOT like she reviews 2-3 books a day: Nenia Campbell. Man. I think she was interviewed once because she read and reviewed so many books in a year haha!Love this post so much. How about 10 things bloggers say that just aren't? 😉 /hint hint /poke pokeFaye at The Social Potato Reviews

Yeah, what is this with coffee. The secret is CHOCOLATE, PEOPLE! Delicious, creamy, and unfortunately fattening. BUT! If authors were consistently brilliant, and skinny, the world might break from their fabulousness. Ahem. How do these people do it, eh? I'm flat out reading a book a week at the moment. If only time grew on trees…

OH DEAR GOD. Coffee ice cream. YES. And coffee cake, and chocolate covered coffee beans. Basically Coffee = <3. Pretty much every writer says it, (I don't NEED it to write) but I do need coffee to be a nice person. I went without it for one day and apparently I get bitchy. The<i> "people think i'm crazy and insane" Book people too! Non-bookish people think we're weird (not that I don't find them just as weird.) Hilarious post, loving the gifs! Kirsty @ StudioReads

Yes, coffee ice cream, yes coffee beans, but coffee icing! That is brilliance. I once found a t-shirt that said, "I'd be nicer if you gave me chocolate." I thought it would be pretty accurate and sum me up well, but it was really skungy, so we didn't get it. Sigh.

Ehh, Cait. We're gonna have to leave you to drink your coffee when we go out to get lunch. Mime and I will go and have some hot chocolate. You know, the smell of coffee? Ew *makes a face* Though, I'm pretty sure that I/we are in the minority since most people loooooove coffee. I see Miranda Kenneally and Liz Norris constantl talk about their excercising so that's definitely a myth (with most authors). The never going outside thing? Perhaps with um.. deadlines? Haha, I've come to realize that some authors read more than others and well done Cait with 60 books. Mime, I kid you not. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF AVOIDING QUESTIONS lol. "CAIT: Well, my books are full of symbolism, aren't they Mime? There was the scene with the apple. MIME: Yeah. It's a symbol of your eternal hunger." HAHAHAHHHAHAHHA :'D "But writer's block is 90% internet and 10% actual block." That is very true. I don't really have a block of writing my thesis *gives it a glare* but I do feel like without Twitter, blogging and goodreads I'd be able to function much better and finally write the damn thing. So much awesomeness in this post, you guys!

Thanks! I actually do avoid going outside. I see the sun and turn into a vampire. Complete with acting like I'm 300 years old. Cait thinks it's funny. Same thing when it rains. I usually make a comment about, "AAAGHHH! I'M MELTING." Cait then convinced our three year old nephew that I'm the Wicked Witch of the West.

I love the both of you together, and this was so entertaining to read. 😉 I definitely think there are some myths about writers, and I think you addressed some really great ones here. I, for one, love tea and iced coffee, but I also agree that, especially with hot tea, if I get on a roll with writing, I'll just forget about it, and it'll get cold and eugh. Also, YES to the writer's block thing. I'm guilty of that. *slinks away* But really–most of the time, you just have to push through it and keep going until you reach a steady pace/rhythm again.

Iced coffee! YES! Iced chocolate? Even yesier? (Yesier? What? I'm more tired than I thought.) Writer's block is so much easier to post on Facebook than, "I'm a procrasinating slacker" eh? And of COURSE I'm not talking about myself right now. Ha. Why would you think that? No way.

This was cute and fun and what I needed to read this morning. I love the writer's block myth because I have been thinking a lot about that very thing … writer's block. And I found a quote on Pinterest: "There is no such thing as writer's block. There is only procrastination, and fear, and perfectionism and pure laziness. That is all." – Travis Thrasher. I agree with Mime about the way to smooth over "writer's block." I don't drink coffee or tea when writing. I am passionate, not crazy. My characters are my best friends, not my kids. I always need sleep. I do love going outside, getting fresh air and walking. I love my writing … really I do! And for the record, I've only read 10 books this year. (Writing, y'know?) And I don't write ALL the time … definitely not. (Where would I find time for school if I did?)Great post, Cait and Mime! Thank you!

You girls are so perfect and awesome and hilarious when you write together! I was in stitches through most of this, I swear, because (1. you guys write awesomely together, and (2. it's so true! Like, you guys did an amazing job with this debunking. The one direction thing was hilarious, especially with the grumpy cat meme. XD And the writers block thing– FINALLY SOMEONE HAS SPOKEN THE TRUTH. Writer's call it "writer's block", the rest of the world calls it "the internet". And the reading thing, thank you for making me not feel alone in the world, haha. I don't read very much but I write all the time. And people are always like "O.o" and I'm just like "*awkward chirping of crickets*". And the tea and writing thing. *head desk* what is the deal with that? WHAT IF ALL THE TEA VANISHED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH? What would happen to all the "tea writers"? I do enjoy coffee while I write, but I agree with Mime, that it's not very helpful because it makes one way too hyper to sit for hours and write stuff down.Awesomesauce post, girls!Kate

I think all the tea writers would die. Or at least, start responding like it was an apocalypse. Hey! That could be interesting. They'd all, like, turn into zombies or something. CAIT! New story for you! Thanks so much, Katie! Your comments make me smile. 😉

Haha I LOVED this post (: Totally hilarious and quite accurate with most points ^.^ Awesome gif usage also. Lol personally I'm like Mime. I don't really enjoy coffee or tea. I get even more odd though as I don't enjoy milk either. What do I drink then? Mainly water lmao. Orange juice and lemonade too 😛 The writers block thing being just an excuse? Totally accurate. I always find myself saying that I have writer's block in my creative writing class when I just don't feel like writing. It takes a lot of blame from me haha. "I'm so proud of my poetic prose but my writing sucks." HAHAHA OMG THAT'S SUCH A BIG LIE. I definitely prefer my writing over my poetic prose. I can't write poems in the least.Wonderful post girls! (:

N'awww, THANKS, LARISSA. Of course, Mime and I never procrastinate. We are machines of productivity. And GIFs. We love our GIFs. Buuuut, no tea OR coffee OR milk? You strange creature, you. No tea, for moi, but yeessss. COFFEE.

LOL. Cait and Mime, this is hilarious! You two should write more posts together. I love the GIFs! I agree with everything, especially that writers always drink tea and coffee. I despise tea. Coffee keeps me up all night (which can be helpful, but that's beside the point). Splendiferous, post, girls!

YES WE SHOULD. (Do you hear this, Mime?!!) Mime is often busy *sobs* and therefore we only write posts when she is less-busy which *sobs* isn't often. I despise tea too. It's….agh. I understand why the Americans threw it into the sea.

We are surprisingly less awesome in reality. NO WAIT. I DIDN'T ADMIT THAT. We are amazing with awesome and superhero capes and sometimes we think we'd like to visit the US of A so we could meet all our weird bloggling friends. That would rock.

I agree with you whole-heartedly!:) I'm extremely guilty of that last two. I'm trying to break that habit. Another phrase commonly quoted by authors that I can't stand: "Writing is easy." Are you nuts!!! There are sometimes that it's so hard that it make sme just want to stop writing altogether! Like when you get 30K words into a story and realize that 80% of the plot needs to be reworked. That's frustrating and any serious writer will not tell you it's easy (I basically just hear that phrase from newbies).

I'm extremely guilty of the Internet instead of writing. *sigh* But what's life without a bit of fun?Also, YES. That "writing is easy" is almost always an exaggeration. I mean, it used to be easier for me before I "knew" how to write (not saying I know all there is, but I sure know more than I did when I started!).

Hehe, wonderful post! I definitely agree with lots of them, especially the pone about tea/coffee. I ALWAYS read about writers 'needing' coffee to write, yet I've never ever had coffee. I DO have tea, sometimes, but not always. And I love Mime's comment about getting a rush from writing. Some people get their kicks from doing drugs/alcohol… I get them by writing fiction. ^_^Also, I LOVE the minion gifs. <3 They're just so adorable.

Minion gifs are just the best. I was tempted to do the whole post in them, buuuut, variety is the spice of gif-ing. I don't "need" coffee to write….I NEED coffee when my family drags me on shopping trips. It is the only key to remaining sane. Agh. Shopping. Agh.

I don't drink tea unless I have a pile of gingernuts to help choke it down with, and my Mum won't let me near coffee as she thinks I'll get addicted (which I will XD)and will never sleep again (that will probably happen too XD). I am strictly a water girl. WATER FOREVER.Great post, girls! 😀

I'm a writer and I can identify with the hardness of writing and not forgetting you have a hot drink slowly getting colder.Writer's Block? I think there's a bunch of different causes for it. Sometimes you just don't know what to write and have got the blank page phobia. This one is sometimes cured by outlining, or reading lots of books if you haven't read a lot lately. Other times you've thought about the story too much and want it to be perfect and so it's really hard to figure out and you've strained yourself with expectations of perfection so much that… you can't write a thing.And then there's the procrastination we don't realize is happening. Our fingers just have a way of guiding us AWAY from writing.

I love your reasons for writers block and yes, definitely agreeing. I think writers block is more like an accepted mentality so now it's just A Thing You Get. It doesn't have to be! I had writers block earlier in March…but I was still writing. I just wasn't flowing…how I solved it? WRITING. Dang. Sometimes I wish the answer was chocolate. Okay. I always wish the answer was chocolate.

Omg these are so funny! And I totally agree that these aren't true. Especially that part about writing all night! I'd probably drop after two straight hours of writing. I just HAVE to stop every ten minutes. Or five. Or three… *hides*

You two are so entertaining…and hilarious! I love it! And I love how you debunked these writer myths. 🙂 I can't wait to read something of yours, especially if you guys are this hilarious just on the interwebz. =)

I love your posts! You always get me giggling 🙂 I don't know what I would do if I didn't have your posts to look forward too – yup, I am that sad! Never stop posting!!!! 🙂 I love sleep but I can stay up till ridiculously late at night writing blog posts – it's currently 1:27am. I am going to regret this A LOT tomorrow.

OMG YOU TOTALLY ARE THE BEST. This made me smile SO WIDE I practically look like a Cheshire cat. (Okay, no comment on that one.) I love sleep too. It doesn't love me back, but still…if I wasn't sleeping there are things I would do that aren't writing. Like Supernatural for instance… x)

Aw, gosh dang, thaaaaanks. XDD Our actual books are a lot less fun because a) we use proper sentence structure and all that baloney and b) we don't use gifs. I mean, what really is the point WITHOUT GIFS?!!

THE TEA WRITER'S APOCALYPSE! Bwahaha. XD That would be awesome. Y'all should write it! At least a short story if nothing else, it would be hilarious!& your posts always make me smile! So we're even! Haha (:

You guys always have the best discussion topics! 🙂 "people are always going to think passionate people are weird" THIS. Cannot agree more. Love this so much because it's all so true. I only write occasionally, mostly during the summer, but YES to all of these! Especially the symbolism, almost always unexpected 😛

Mime- The vamp episodes tend to be my least favorites. Except the ones with Gordon (who you haven't met yet, but you will, and he's horrid). Cait – You're gonna use brute force and smash them with a hammer??? lol.

Gordon needs a hi-five in the face with a big big chair. And yes, that's the plan. After I put them in box and put that box in a box and mail them to myself. (Buuut there are some NICE vampires out there. So I'll be cautious.)

Sorry, Cait, I'm with Mime on the whole tea/coffee situation. In fact, I'm not a great hot drinks fan at all. I'll have the occasional Horlicks before bed, but I get to sleep better with my thoughts than with a drink. Besides, one has got to follow Sheldon's whimsy: "I only drink hot chocolate in months with an r in them." *innocent look* What? It makes perfect sense.You are mad to have managed to balance reading and writing! 😛 I can't do either. Well, maybe the occasional chapter a day at *looks at clock* 11.30pm in the holidays when I'm too exhausted to write…"But writer's block is 90% internet and 10% actual block." Tehe! For me, it's more like 99% internet and 1% staring-at-wall-trying-to-think-way-around-problem. And, actually, I'll have you know, my novel IS full of symbolism!Alex 😛