GOP Victory Party Set for Alabama Gun Range

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On Tuesday November 6th, the Republican party of Alabama plans on celebrating election night the way any gun-toting, capitalism-embracing, communist-hating, true American should, at a gun range. That’s right, no lame, quiet hotel for these guys, instead the Republican Party plans on celebrating by inviting supporters to the “52,000 square foot Hoover Tactical Firearms for a ‘victory party’ Tuesday night.”

The party is going to include drinks, a live band, two hours of range time, and a guest appearance by the current Miss Alabama, Anna Laura Bryan, who will be singing the national Anthem. If you ask me this party can’t get any more American unless Reagan himself came by to fire off a few rounds while drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels. Meanwhile, I am sure most of the Democratic election parties around the nation will be occupying the nearest hookah bar.

The Republican Party is so sure about Romney’s success that they aren’t calling this an election party, they were quoted as calling this little shindig a “victory party.” The party communications director has made several statements on behalf of the party’s decision to host this “victory party” at a gun range, but the most important thing she has made clear is that “drinking won’t be allowed while people are shooting.” One can only hope that Dick Cheney will be stopping by to make an all-star performance and shoot off a few hundred rounds.