If You Don’t Know, Now You Know

Last Friday rendered an introduction other than the much-anticipated weekend. Yes, September 21, brought about something I have long been dreading: fall.

Now, it’s not as though I dislike the season itself. For instance, observing my Instagram feed blow up with photos of luteous-coloured, lo-fi-filtered leaves, anticipating the most delicious dinner of the year (no, not Thanksgiving – Hallows’ Eve, duh) and witnessing Starbucks inaugurate the Pumpkin Spice Latte are all enjoyable parts of fall in my eyes (and tummy).

Rather, it’s the significance of this tease-like time of the year that makes me grimace. It’s an indication that summer has passed; a reminder that winter is imminent.

To alleviate my anguish and counteract my cynicism, I put together a few unconventional reasons why the next few, chillier, months are better than the warmer ones that now rest out of sight until 2013.

The deficiency of UV rays means sunburns are no more. Let’s face it (permission granted to give me a swift kick for that one), crimson pigment serves as nothing other than a public declaration of sun-safety ignorance. This, in turn, causes embarrassment, which only perpetuates the rosy hue you have on display. No good.

The reduced amount of skin shown provides an opportunity to put grooming habits on the back burner. Note: grooming habits are not the same as hygienic practices. Please don’t regard this as a proposal to stop showering. What I’m getting at is that autumn is forgiving when priority is placed on an extra five minutes’ worth of sleep instead of mitigating stubble.

Along the same lines, the increased amount of clothing we wear facilitates a rationale that we need to buy more garments. Perhaps it’s some sort of subconscious notion from our childhoods that September correlates with back-to-school shopping. Whatever it is, keep up the frivolous spending and stimulate the economy people! Let’s keep this province prosperous.

The shorter days are beneficial in that bouts of FOMO, (close relative of YOLO) are less frequent. You know the feeling when you receive an invitation on a nice summer evening, and not possessing the better judgment to decline, you go? It’s as if every set of plans has the potential to turn into the most epic time ever. However, patios shut down, and the constant need to relish every ray of sunshine, goes with them.

An aside: if anybody knows how to appropriately dress for the 20-degree difference between the morning and the afternoon in Edmonton, let me know. I’m not complaining; I just can’t keep up with the laundry!