3. The sooty tern:

One day a young sooty tern was flying over the sea with its parents when the mummy bird ran into a cliff and dropped to the ground.

Oblivious to his mate’s fate, the daddy tern flew on, but the young bird swooped to the foot of the cliff in a bid to save her.

Alas the mummy tern was already dead and the tearful young bird was taken under the wing of a family of seagulls.

A week later, the head of the seagull family announced, “You’re a well behaved bird but I’m afraid we can’t keep you. However we’re going to find a tern that can adopt you and act as a replacement mother.”

So the seagull put an ad in the local paper which read, “One good tern deserves a mother.”

4. Difficult customer:

A man walked into a smart Downtown bar and sat on a stool at the counter.

“Sir, what can I get you to drink?” said the bartender. “A beer maybe? We’ve got an excellent special brew on offer this evening.”

“I’m sorry,” replied the man haughtily. “I don’t drink alcohol. I tried it once but I didn’t like it and I haven’t touched a drop since.”

The bartender tried to engage the man in friendly conversation by offering him a cigar.

“You can’t smoke it in here,” said the bartender, “but perhaps you can enjoy it later.”

“No thank you,” said the man with a sneer. “I don’t smoke. I tried it once but I didn’t like it and I haven’t smoked since.”

Again the bartender attempted a little banter but the man was having none of it.

“Listen,” he said. “I appreciate you’re merely trying to be sociable but the fact is I wouldn’t even be in this place at all but for the fact that I’m meeting my son here.”

“That would be your only child, I presume?” the bartender remarked philosophically.

5. Lady in the Casino:

The Las Vegas casino was virtually deserted and two male dealers at the craps table were idling away their time in the hope that business might soon improve.

Suddenly a stunningly attractive, buxom woman appeared and said she wanted to bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

“Certainly mam,” said one of the dealers, happy to relieve the boredom.

“There’s just one thing though,” said the woman.

“What’s that?” said the dealer.

“Well I hope you don’t mind,” said the woman, “but playing topless always brings me luck. There’s hardly anyone about, so I’ll take off my blouse and bra before I roll the dice.”

She then quickly removed those garments exposing her ample assets and threw the dice, before yelling “I’ve won! I can’t believe it! I’ve won!”

She then scooped up all the money, picked up her clothes and disappeared in an instant.

The two dealers were stunned. “What did she roll?” asked one.

“I don’t know” said the other. “I thought you’d be watching the dice!”

Please share with your friends on social media:

So did these prove to be the priceless jokes you’d hoped for read reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share it all with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.