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patrons

Avast! Pthogonex, the Ancient Blood God of Internet
Patronage, demands that you support Alyra Productions, lest the world plunge
into a state of eternal itchiness! Or something. I don’t know.

I’m supposed to write something here that will convince you
to give me your hard-earned dollars, but Jesus, could anything possibly be more cringey and contrived? We both know if you like our content and you have the means to support
us, you will, and if you don’t, you won’t. You’ve probably already made your
decision. Even this self-awareness feels cringey.

But to appease the anxiety demons in my head, I will say this: if you haven't already made up your mind, I hope you’ll consider us.

We are committed to the purest form of art we
can muster. That means we don't run ads. We don't do sponsorships. We don't accept
money of any kind that would pollute our integrity. We only accept money from
those who directly experience and enjoy what we make. Which is why we need your help.

It is your sacred power as a human consciousness to forge
the cosmos in the image of your intentions with the divine sword of your
willful actions. You have the ability to create a world that is full of art and wonder.

And lo! The internet-goer looked within himself and realized
that it was he who was Pthogonex, the Ancient Blood God of Internet Patronage!
And he smiled. And it was good.

Or you know, plunge the world into itchiness. Either way.

Thanks for reading my earnest little entreaty. Now back to
the melancholic ravings!

Tiers

Alyran Citizen

$1 or more per month

Thank you for supporting Alyra Productions! Your patronage will make it possible to continue our war with Eurasia. Though a lowly plebeian you are, your ability die in battle en masse is instrumental to our success!

At this tier, you will get access to the Patreon feed, where you will see updates on our works in progress, and occasional behind-the-scenes material, and to our Discord

Alyran Dictator

$100 or more per month

By god. The lowly peasants tremble in your midst, fear the very sight of your visage, dare not to even utter your name. Truly, your immense wealth has earned you superiority over your fellow humans. I mean, that's just fair.

At this tier, you'll get to appear in one of our videos. We'll work with you to figure out the logistics, but it will probably involve flying you out to us and having you act in a significant role.

Goals

As of right now, we are but saplings in a great and terrible sea of predatory birds. At 100 patrons, we'll have the resources to release regular content and to stop mixing our metaphors.

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Avast! Pthogonex, the Ancient Blood God of Internet
Patronage, demands that you support Alyra Productions, lest the world plunge
into a state of eternal itchiness! Or something. I don’t know.

I’m supposed to write something here that will convince you
to give me your hard-earned dollars, but Jesus, could anything possibly be more cringey and contrived? We both know if you like our content and you have the means to support
us, you will, and if you don’t, you won’t. You’ve probably already made your
decision. Even this self-awareness feels cringey.

But to appease the anxiety demons in my head, I will say this: if you haven't already made up your mind, I hope you’ll consider us.

We are committed to the purest form of art we
can muster. That means we don't run ads. We don't do sponsorships. We don't accept
money of any kind that would pollute our integrity. We only accept money from
those who directly experience and enjoy what we make. Which is why we need your help.

It is your sacred power as a human consciousness to forge
the cosmos in the image of your intentions with the divine sword of your
willful actions. You have the ability to create a world that is full of art and wonder.

And lo! The internet-goer looked within himself and realized
that it was he who was Pthogonex, the Ancient Blood God of Internet Patronage!
And he smiled. And it was good.

Or you know, plunge the world into itchiness. Either way.

Thanks for reading my earnest little entreaty. Now back to
the melancholic ravings!

Recent posts by Alyra Productions

Tiers

Alyran Citizen

$1 or more per month

Thank you for supporting Alyra Productions! Your patronage will make it possible to continue our war with Eurasia. Though a lowly plebeian you are, your ability die in battle en masse is instrumental to our success!

At this tier, you will get access to the Patreon feed, where you will see updates on our works in progress, and occasional behind-the-scenes material, and to our Discord

Alyran Dictator

$100 or more per month

By god. The lowly peasants tremble in your midst, fear the very sight of your visage, dare not to even utter your name. Truly, your immense wealth has earned you superiority over your fellow humans. I mean, that's just fair.

At this tier, you'll get to appear in one of our videos. We'll work with you to figure out the logistics, but it will probably involve flying you out to us and having you act in a significant role.