Now that New York has legalized same-sex marriages, the marital-industrial complex is ready for the floodgates to open. That, of course, means booze will pour. Beermakers are already crafting brews for the river of gay marriages headed down the Hudson Way. Whim Quarterly was able to get a sneak peek of the new offerings from some of the world’s great breweries. Cheers!

Courtesy of contributor Dan McCoy, Whim invites you to spend your extra hour of sunshine in front of a computer, learning about time-saving measures. Readers in Arizona, feel free to ignore this piece.

Gregory Beyer, Whim contributor and perennial candidate for Delaware’s at-large House seat, explains why Representative Charles Rangel was lucky to walk away with a mere censure after being found guilty of ethics violations last week. Recommended reading for all parliamentary procedure wonks.

Keeping in the spirit of Halloween week, please read this aloud in the Crypt Keeper’s voice: “This station is Flay Street Boo-rough Hall. The next stop will be Lurch Avenue. Stand clear of the closing doors…if you DARE!”

The Headless Horseman is well-known by lovers of Bing Crosby-narrated Disney cartoons (rare), lovers of early American retellings of German folk tales (rarer), or lovers of late-period Tim Burton films (non-existent).

While the Horseman deserves his fame for making it so far without a college degree (a severed brain stem is a real stumbling block at most higher learning institutions), he tends to overshadow other horrifying notables whose personae are based on the absence of body parts. As a Halloween public service, we offer this primer on these absentee abominations.