Monday, April 6, 2015

He said what!?!

So this story is a few years old when my daughter was a mere 8 maybe 9 months old. Have you ever heard of a thing called mastitis? If you haven't, pray that you never know what it is like to have it. It is pure hell. My boob felt like it was on fire and that my nipple might rip off at any second. I had a high grade fever, a migraine, and I was throwing up. Put all that together with the fact that my daughter was exclusively breastfed. She wouldn't drink out of a bottle even if I pumped. We also had no family anywhere near us and my husband was on nights so he was absolutely no help. My daughter and I lived in the guest bathroom for 3 days straight.

Since we were still new to the area I didn't have a family practitioner so I decided to use the doctors office that a couple of our friends recommended. Luckily one of my friends was off work and was able to watch Selah while I went to my appointment. I get to the office and I look and feel like crap. I'm wearing some capri yoga pants and a Bass Pro t-shirt with no makeup and my hair in a bun. Heck, I'm lucky that I was able to get myself off the bathroom floor and drive to the Dr. I found out Friday I had mastitis, but there was no openings until Monday morning.

They finally call me back after filling out an abundance of paper work and waiting an hour. I think I even said the phrase "oh thank you Jesus" when they called my name. Thank goodness I didn't have to use the Target bag I had brought with me just in case I got sick. So I go to the room and wait and wait. Finally this young Doctor comes in. At least, I think he was a Dr. heck, he could have been a nurse practitioner. I tell him what is wrong with me and he looks terrified. Like he is so afraid that he might have to look or heck even touch my breast... Really dude, get it together it's just a boob. After I tell him what I am pretty sure I have he just agrees with me. I have never seen an Indian blush, but he sure was red. I swear he was acting like a 12 year old boy who was watching a sex scene in a movie for the first time while sitting beside his mom.. So he goes to pat my leg in reassurance that things will be ok, and he said "Oooh prickly, hahahaha!"

That did it. I work really at having a filter. If anyone knows the old me, they know that I use to say what I thought and didn't mind if it was offensive or hurtful. Well, the old me came through. I looked at him with this look that I must have summoned from the Devil and said "Excuse me! I'm sorry that in the midst of my vomiting, migraine, nursing and caring for a baby, that I forgot to shave my legs in the odd chance that some Doctor whom I've never met would feel the need to touch my legs. However, if you feel so strongly about it you are more than welcome to nurse and take care of my daughter so I can shave my legs." Was I wrong for going off on him?? Mmmm... probably.. I just can't get this situation out of my head. I was lucky enough to make it to the office without barfing while driving to even think about shaving my "prickly legs". Heck, I had them mostly covered, I was wearing capris. Good enough. . Or so I thought..

With all this being said, if you have been sick and are going to the doctor.. Wear pants!