Thoughts on everyday life and inspiring others to contribute to life in a positive way.

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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Holding On To Stress

Once upon a
time, I presented workshops on Stress and how to manage it. At the time, I was
winding down my teaching career and entering into the counseling portion of my
life. My stress workshops were an outgrowth of my teaching at a technical
college on business and leadership, and I have to say I miss teaching still
today. I miss counseling even more.

To a degree,
each of us faces stress. For instance, a batter in baseball approaches the
plate and there is a certain amount of stress he feels, should feel, as he
faces the pitcher. After all, his team and his manager expect him to get on
base. Now, add a runner or two on base, add an out or two, and add in the
scoreboard indicating that the batter’s team is behind by one run in the bottom
of the ninth. The stress is amplified quite a bit from one scenario to the
other.

I may have
written this once in the past, but folks, I’m not a very good basketball
player. Yes, I could coach the game, but I give credit to the players much more
so than any coaching I did. I had wonderful, coachable players, and I think I
was more of a motivator than anything else. But I remember as an eighth grader
standing at the free throw line in the closing minutes of a very close game. A
nail-biter, as they might say. Pressure was on. I felt stress. I still feel it
today, many years later. I missed. It clanked off the rim and fell into the
wrong team’s hands. I couldn’t tell you if we won or lost that game, I truly
don’t remember, but I can tell you the result of that free throw.

As I said, each
of us feels stress. Some of it we place on ourselves, while some of it is given
to us. Some stress is healthy: a baseball player, a NASCAR driver, someone
headed into a room for an interview for a job or promotion. That kind of stress
comes and goes and sharpens our senses and our reflexes while it is present,
and then we can relax and move on.

But then there
is a different kind of stress.

Recently, I
found a very short video on Facebook. A psychologist had a glass of water, and
some of the students wondered if she would ask the question, “Is the glass
half-full or half-empty.” She didn’t.

Rather, she
asked, “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?” There were guesses
ranging from several grams to many grams. What she said was that, “The weight
of the glass doesn’t really matter. It’s how long I hold it that matters.”

She went on to
explain that if she held it for a minute or two, there wouldn’t be any problem.
If she held it for an hour, her hand and arm might cramp up. If she held it for
a day, her arm would feel like it was paralyzed. The weight of the glass didn’t
matter, but the length of time she held it did.

She stated that
stress and anxiety are like a glass of water. If we hold on to it for a short
time, nothing happens. If we hold on to it for a long time, we start to cramp
up- emotionally, perhaps physically. And if we hold on to it all day, we feel
paralyzed and are unable to think or to act.

It isn’t healthy
for us to Hold On To Stress. It hurts us and it hurts our relationships with
others. We begin to question ourselves, our actions, our decisions. Self-doubt
creeps in where once there was none.

It’s best to let
it go. Seek out a trusted friend, an ear to listen, a hand to hold, a shoulder
to lean on. And where possible, we can be that trusted friend, the ear for
listening, a hand for holding, and the shoulder for leaning. Something to think
about . . .

Live Your Life,
and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

I was asked to
write a guest post for the blog, Thriller-Writer by Eric Gates. I chose to
write on character development and if interested, it can be found at: http://bit.ly/1XwLVZ1

I’ve been asked
where readers can find me, so I’m letting you know that I can be found on: