We often forget
about maintaining the things that are most obvious in our lives. I’m grateful
for that “Check Engine” light in my car that reminds me to change the oil every
so often, otherwise I’m sure I’d be driving with muddy sludge in my engine by
now. I wish more things in my life had similar indicators.

If Facebook is a
big activity with your kids, it may be time to check under the hood of this
popular website and ensure that security settings are set appropriately. If you
have read any of my previous articles on social networking, you’ll know that the
first thing I suggest is to acquire your own Facebook page and then ask your
kids if they will allow you to be their “friend” (a Facebook term that means
both your profiles are linked together). This will allow you to view their
profile pages and make sure everything they post is safe and acceptable. It will
also allow you to send them messages – but I’d keep to the private ones. Having
Mom or Dad populate their public “wall” with dozens of messages may prohibit
positive future cyberspace relationships.

After taking this
beginning step, next it’s time to start fiddling with some of the finer Facebook
settings – stuff your young one may find extremely boring, yet I strongly
encourage the two of you to work through this together.

Begin with the most
tedious task of all: Having a look at Facebook’s “Terms of Use.” Virtually
every website has one of these pages which amount to the “fine print” of the
Internet. I doubt either you or your teen will have the patience to read this
from top to bottom, but I’d suggested at least taking a look at the sections
titled “Proprietary Rights in Site Content”, “User Conduct”, and “User Content
Posted on the Site”.

Not too long ago,
Facebook users were surprised when they discovered the company laid claim to
everything on their personal profile pages. This meant all your kid’s writing
(okay, it isn’t Hemmingway...) and, perhaps even more serious, photographs were
the company’s property. Fortunately they have changed to their current stance
that says everything is the property of the company except your stuff. In other
words, you can’t steal your friend’s photographs (except for personal use) but
all your pictures still belong to you. However, note in the “User Content Posted
on the Site” section that even if you delete a picture of you with that
once-significant other whom you now detest, Facebook may still keep “archived
copies” of your content but they do not “assert any ownership” over them. In
other words, your images may be kept on a hard drive far, far away for a very
long time.

It’s good to come
back to Facebook’s Terms of Use page occasionally, because one of their terms is
they have the right to change the rules of using Facebook anytime they wish. On
the Internet, nothing is permanent (except that picture you wish you could get
rid of).

That’s enough fine
print. Now it’s time to check some very important boxes in Facebook’s security
settings. To find these, travel to the very top right corner of the page and
click the word “Settings.” A page will appear with a few choices. Note that this
is where you come to change your password. If your (or your teen’s) password is
currently set to your middle name or phone number, start here. Make a good
cryptic password with a mix of letters and numbers. This helps to protect from
others using your account and pretending to be you. This is also a good time to
remind your kids to never ever share passwords with anyone. In this age of
cyber-banking and cyber-everything else, it’s a good lesson to begin teaching
early.

You’ll also find
the ultimate “emergency stop” function on this page. Look for “Deactivate
Account” which will wipe your profile and everything associated with it
completely off of Facebook. (Just remember that little statement about
“archiving” in the Terms of Use.)

The main area I
encourage you move to from the Settings page is the Privacy section. Give this a
click and look through the menus. I’m not going to discuss every option here,
but explore all your choices and discuss them with your young Facebooker. (Of
course, if you are operating your own Facebook profile, you will also want to
consider these choices.) I’ll walk you through a few highlights...

Amongst the options
on the first page that appears after clicking Privacy, you will want to note
that you can block individual users. This is a key tool in preventing someone
from writing and posting on your Facebook profile. Obviously, it doesn’t stop
them from saying nasty things about you on their own pages (of course legal
issues would still ensue) but it will block an enemy from writing notes on your
wall or harassing you with other means.

Next, have a look
at the “Profile” settings (it’s the link at the top of the Privacy page list).
This allows you to control who is allowed to see your Facebook information and
photos. I strongly suggest, especially for young people, that none of these
settings be changed to anything more open than “Only Friends.” Selecting
“Friends of Friends” opens your profile and/or other information up to a vast
number of people. If you have 100 friends and each of them have 100 friends, you
are now sharing with 10,000 people, and you probably don’t know 9,900 of them.
The “My networks” setting is even more dangerous – most profiles are linked to
entire cities or other networks, and the “Everyone” setting should really only
be used if you are attempting to use Facebook as a marketing tool. Finally, note
there are two tabs on the top of the Profile settings: Basic and Contact
Information. Make sure you check the settings on each of these, as they control
who sees your phone number and other personal information.

Now that you have
made changes to your profile settings, you have two more important steps. First,
make sure you click the “Save Changes” box at the bottom of the page. Simply
clicking your browser’s “Back” button or going to another page will not
save your settings. The second step involves my favorite Facebook privacy tool.
Note near the top of the Profile privacy settings page there is a small box that
says, “See how a friend sees your profile.” In this box, you can type any of
your friend’s names and see exactly what information is being shared. This is a
good test to make sure you haven’t missed anything.

Click back to the
main Privacy page and click the “Search” function. Near the top of the page, you
will see a setting for “Search Visibility.” This setting may require some
discussion between you and your teen, as it controls who can search for you on
Facebook. Obviously, one of the reasons most people want a Facebook account is
so others can find them. For those of us who have a few decades of relationships
behind us, this can be particularly fun. This is one of the few settings you may
want to leave set to “Everyone,” however, if you want to limit who can find you
(or your child) if they did a general search on Facebook (and this includes
someone who is not a member of Facebook), then select one of the more
restrictive settings.

Note the checkboxes
under the heading “Search Result Content.” These control the initial search
information that someone can see about you. Assuming you have your profile
locked down in the Profile settings discussed earlier, no one will be able to
gain any other knowledge about you than what is checked here. You can also
disable links to have someone add you as a friend or to send you a message.

Finally, you’ll see
a section called “Public Search Listing.” This created some controversy when
Facebook began offering people’s profiles to be searched by Google and other
search engines. You can uncheck this box and prevent people from finding you
through Google. Also note that minors are automatically exempted from this
feature (assuming they have accurately entered their age into Facebook when they
created their profile).

This is by no means
an exhaustive look at setting up the perfect privacy plan in Facebook. Frankly,
if you are really concerned about your kid’s privacy, Facebook is last thing
they should be pursuing. The whole point of the site is to broadcast your
presence to the Internet universe. However, by keeping an eye on these settings
and Facebook’s legal mumbo jumbo, you will be ahead of many other users in
keeping your information safe and only sharing what you want to share.

Rod Gustafson

Besides writing this column for the Parents Television Council, Rod Gustafson authors Parent Previews® - a newspaper and Internet column (published in association with movies.com) that reviews movies from a parent's perspective. He's also the film critic for a major Canadian TV station, various radio stations and serves on the executive of the Alberta Association for Media Awareness. Finally, his most important role is being the father to four wonderful children and husband to his beautiful wife (and co-worker) Donna.

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