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Oliver, the groomsdoghttp://blogs.thestarphoenix.com/2008/01/12/oliver-the-groomsdog/
http://blogs.thestarphoenix.com/2008/01/12/oliver-the-groomsdog/#commentsSat, 12 Jan 2008 02:57:00 +0000/saskatoonstarphoenix/blogs/weddeddiss/archive/2008/01/11/oliver-the-groomsdog.aspxI was perusing a new online wedding magazine called Wedding Star to see if there were any detectable traces of funk, or whether it was a total cheesefest. (The jury of me, myself and I are still out on this …]]>I was perusing a new online wedding magazine called Wedding Star to see if there were any detectable traces of funk, or whether it was a total cheesefest. (The jury of me, myself and I are still out on this one).

I was immediately drawn to the “novelty accessories” segment of the site (That sounds naughty, right? It’s not just me?) and that is where I found these: Wedding attire for pets.

Dare I risk the wrath of pet-lovers everywhere when I opine these get-ups are uber-dorky? Well, they are.

Although I was peripherally aware some people go ga-ga for their pets, with hairdos and Christmas presents and other unnecessary expenses, I admit the realm of pets in weddings is new to me. It doesn’t surprise me, though.

So, I forwarded the peculiar pet outfits to newsroom colleague Cassandra Kyle, a fellow bride and the proud mommy of an excitable pup named Oliver.

“Oh, didn’t I mention?” was the gist of Cassandra’s reply. “Oliver is in the wedding.”

What!? How can a dog be in a wedding? He has no idea what’s going on.

Indeed, Cassandra and hubby-to-be Scott have already found a similar tuxedo-collar thingy for Oliver to wear at their August nuptials. Her vision is that Scott will stand at the front of the aisle, then beckon to Oliver (“Here, boy,” etc.) and the decked out Yorkshire Terrier/Shih-Tzu cross will come bounding down the aisle, propelled by the loving spirit of the day.

During the ceremony, either the last groomsman will hold Oliver on a leash, or he will sit on someone’s lap in the front row.

“It depends what mood he’s in,” she said.

When did she decide she wanted the dog in the wedding? The day after the couple got him last May, Cassandra says.

“He’s just like a part of our family now,” she said. “I can’t imagine life without Oliver.”

Fair enough. Some people’s pets are like their kids, and you wouldn’t leave them at home for your wedding. I respect Cassandra’s yearning to have her dog in the wedding, even if I can’t understand it.

Here’s what would worry me about a dog, or a cat or a lemur or a ferret or any pet other than a goldfish, as part of a wedding.

- Dogs like barking, especially when excited and meeting new people. How can you guarantee a quiet dog during the ceremony? Guests who can’t hear over the yowls might be annoyed they’re missing the big moment.

-Unless a doggie diaper is part of that wedding outfit, there’s no guarantee Oliver, or any other animal, won’t mark his territory in the ceremony hall. Warning to the last groomsman: Bring a pooper scooper and a baggie, and keep an eye on your shoes.

- Put an animal on stage and it always, always steals the show. Maybe Cassandra and Scott know this, and are actually trying to deflect attention away from themselves on this special day, but I doubt it.

I suppose there are eight months left until her wedding. There’s still time for Oliver to be trained in canine wedding etiquette.

Good luck, Cassandra. If I’m not invited (which may be a sure thing after this post), I insist on seeing the wedding video.