Jessie Darker’s 5 Ways To Make An Ass Kicking Mom Happy On Mother’s Day

Jessie Darker is the main character of DARKER DAYS, the book I just finished. She and her ass kicking Mom, Klaire, have a very unique relationship. Jessie doesn’t have a ton of cash and hates to shop, but wants to show her Mom some love on Mother’s day. Here’s her top 5 Mother’s day gift ideas.

Jessie Darker’s 5 Ways To Make An Ass Kicking Mom Happy On Mother’s Day

1. For the neat freak Mom—Clean up the corpses. Just get done with a particularly messy trap and slap? Forget doing the dishes. Let Mom put her feet up while you dispose of the otherworldly body bits.

2. For the Fashion savvy Mom—Tell her you’ll take Pet possession duty for the next month. Does your Mom constantly complain about the fact that demon drool stains? Does she groan when the call comes in to say Fido down the road is breathing fire and peeing acid on the carpets? Trust me. She—and her wardrobe—will thank you.

3. For the frugal Mom—Buy her a bulk bag of quartz powder. Forget flowers and lameo “World’s best Mom” charm bracelets. What good are those things when trapped and staring down the stinky nose of a Zombie?

4. For the sensible Mom—A good pair of running shoes. There’s nothing as priceless as a good pair of kicks. Giving Mom sensible footwear so she’ll be able to outrun the big bad on her ass is going to ensure years of companionship and plenty of memorable, late night Mother/Daughter demon hunts.

5. For the hip Mom—An IPod loaded with a catalog of musical kickassery. Everything from Hardcore punk, to those weird hair bands she loves so much.