The Carnival Triumph is being dragged sadly back to dock today after more than half a week of floating aimlessly in the Caribbean without power. About 4,200 passengers have been subjected to interminable days and nights of unsanitary conditions, horrible food, and profound boredom. But is that. . . really that much different from what normally happens on a cruise?

To investigate, we compared reviews of Carnival’s functional ships and quotes from Triumph’s hostages. See if you can see which descriptions apply to which situation:

A. “Having been on many Carnival ships in the past, this was, without a doubt, the most disappointing cruise ever.”

B. “this Platinum VIP will never set foot on a Carnival ship again”

C. “First time on a cruise, last time on a cruise”

D.“the most un-fun cruise I’ve ever experienced”

E. “My mother is a cruise travel agent so this is not my first rodeo. I have sailed many, many cruises, many, many cruise lines. This was, by far, I have to say, the worst.”

F. “I now know how my grandparents felt coming to America on a ship where people got sick, the food was awful and they did not leave the ship the whole time.”

G. “food poisoning”

H. “everyone on the ship was outraged”

I. “Everybody wants off of this. It’s a big mess.”

J. “This is one ‘Dream Class Ship’ that was a total nightmare!”

K. “Any cruise we take in the future will most definitely not be on Carnival, never again!”

L. “Room smells like an outhouse. Cold water only, toilets haven’t work in 3 1/2 days”