Appearance: Fascinating – if your idea of a good time is watching every second of the US presidential debates. In which case, hello! If you don't find much to your taste here, take a look around the rest of the site.

Call me psychic, but I'm getting the impression this doesn't have anything to do with spicy chicken burgers. Definitely not. It's about those snappy rejoinders that get American commentators so excited.

Awwwww! I've been looking around the KFC website. "Picture a disco mirrorball hanging from the roof of your mouth and instead of light, it's taste bouncing around your mouth like a tingle wave… That's what the Zinger Burger tastes like," apparently. Apparently… and irrelevantly.