Re: Trampled by the Passage of Time

Thank you for the update, mudpuppy... "a helluva year" seems like an understatement.

I too am sorry to hear about your father, and your mother's declining health. I'm not sure that I know about your partner's situation but the fact that thw two of you are able to help each other at all is remarkable.

And yet bit by bit, you are managing to get what needs to be done, done.

Re: Trampled by the Passage of Time

Dr Baxter is right. You are doing incredibly well Mudpuppy. Holy mackerel. Props!

Great to hear from you. Wish I could tap you with a magic wand that makes you enjoy 8 hours of amazing sleep every night! (Or hey, maybe even more... ... not that you would have the spare hours in the day for it though!! ) And yeah, absolutely, crazy full-on or crisis-y times can definitely interrupt or derail our therapy or self care schedules for a while, argh. Good to know our therapist will be there when we are ready. Hope that in time you will eventually get the time and a bit more stability / predictability you need to schedule time in for yourself and be able to know where you'll be and when, etc... yup, it's no fun getting hit with those cancellation fees, blah. In these times definitely no fun handing over money for nothin!!

Re: Trampled by the Passage of Time

Thank you, everyone. Your support means a great deal. Other than Mom and my partner, you're my only support at the moment.

We are all, in fact, coping. Although I gotta say, many days I'm not entirely sure how. Like my partner and I keep telling each other, we'll be okay if we don't look up, just keep looking down and focus on the immediate next step. Not easy, but it seems to be more or less working.

Things have settled into a semblance of a routine, at least comparatively, so I've got an appointment to see the therapist on the 18th. A burst of unbridled optimism booking that far in advance, I know. Fingers crossed that nothing significant changes between now and then.

With luck (barring any more shoes dropping off this millipede), a good chunk of Dad's estate will be wrapped up by next Tuesday. That will relieve a comparable chunk of the stress.

Plus, MHJo, I think you found that magic wand without knowing it! I've managed two back-to-back nights of 9 hours sleep! w00t!!

Also, the X-Mice are doing well. There have been no new litters since last fall as far as I can tell. All the ones I'm seeing (which happens often as them li'l buggers are fearless) are fully adult, and often old. The really old farts have become almost companionable. Two nights ago, Bruce, the mouse in my studio, climbed up on the back rim of my mug and grabbed a quick drink of my Coke while I was sitting there watching him. Poor ol' guy's been through the wars; the end of his tail is missing and the outside of his ears are lace from all the old battle damage. The old fart in the kitchen, Patch, is missing all the guard hairs on the front half of his body, making him two-tone and easy to spot. Given that I saw him try to sniff the flame on the stove not long ago, his condition isn't overly surprising; he may have briefly ignited himself at some time in the past. In the livingroom, Thunderfoot continues to trip over things and generally sound like he's wearing army boots. He lives under the PVR and only glares at me if I lift it up to check. I guess he's too old and arthritic to bother running and figures if I'm going to eat a mouse as tough as him I'll get everything I deserve as a result. I'm seriously considering catching these poor old guys and giving them a caged life of safety and unlimited treats for the rest of their days. They've earned it.

Re: Trampled by the Passage of Time

I hadn't gotten around to catching up with Psychlinks again for a bit, but now that I've had the chance to get back here my heart is warmed by a) my apparent ability to help you sleep Mudpuppy (in reality perhaps it was the physiological effect of you having a moment to pop in here and be heard and having gotten some support that you were needing during this time. I'm really glad! ), and b) the uplifting and deep bond that has developed between you and the X-Mice. I had a bit of a Thunderfoot living in a part of my oven for a while, that shows you how often I was cooking during that era. As much as I feel kinship with all creatures and the life in them, when I finally found and cleaned out what my Thunderfoot had left over time in his little, um, 'apartment' he had found in there, I was not all that sorry to bid adieu to the era of housing my little guest, hahahahaha. Also my cats were finally able to get some sleep after the constant excitement of knowing he was always somewhere nearby, hahaha. Your X-Mice are lucky, they have a very kind and loving mommy. I think there's potential for some viral Youtube videos or something there.

Your support that you get that keeps you able to do all the things you do is so important, we all need it. Hope that if sonething tries to muscle in on your therapist appointment, you might be able to say you have an appointment or meeting scheduled that you can't miss, or something... see if maybe the things that try to push in and get in the way of what's important to you, can be a bit flexible for a change. Hmph! It's often surprising how that may happen if you put a foot down and say your prior engagement can't change. Hmm, maybe I can take a picture of my grumpiest stubbornest face and I'll send it to you and you can shove it in somebody's face if they try to mess up your scheduling of important things that help you.

Re: Trampled by the Passage of Time

The X-Mice are Mudpuppy's quite beloved possibly mutantish dynasties of mice that accidentally bred from two escaped semi-wild/semi-pet mice she originally had. And Thunderfoot is one affectionately named for especially loud and clumsy footfalls.

Re: Trampled by the Passage of Time

Thank you MHJo! I suspect I'm going to find an entire "chicken graveyard" under my stove, based on the number of bones that have miraculously vanished out of the garbage recently. Fortunately, the dogs mostly ignore them (the mice, not the bones... they know in great detail where each and every bone is hidden), which makes life sooooo much more peaceful.

David, The X-Mice, as MHJo so clearly says, are descendants of a moment of bad judgment 2 years ago which allowed a brother & sister pair of pet/wild mice to escape into the freedom of my house. Since there's no outside genetic input into the line (23 years of freerange-mousefree living attests to that), the descendants are both fearless and a tad.... quirky. (X-Men, X-Mice.... like that.) Given that the patriarch of the line managed to get caught by falling into a bucket under the sink, one of their more noticeable traits is clumsiness. Tripping, falling, and other assorted moments of "glory" are among their hallmark accomplishments. Thunderfoot is the epitome of this as he can't seem to go anywhere without making enough noise to track his movements easily. Before meeting him, I had no idea that mice could stomp. Audibly.

Some good news! My therapist talked to the clinic director and was able to make arrangements for me to come in twice as often for half the cost each time. Yay! We're starting EMDR to try to deal with the feelings of dread associated with getting my house under control. I'm sooooooo hoping that works. I'm tired of living this way, but if I try to fix it, I'm paralyzed by fear. *fingers crossed*

Sleep is still wonky. One good night, 2-3 bad ones, but at least it's not 5-7 bad ones and a meh one. I'm counting that as an improvement.

MHJo, I'm going to take you up on your offer, and invoke your name to fend off anyone trying to mess with the scheduling of important things!! It worked for sleep, so dammit, it'll work for this, too!

More good news! My partner got a part-time job with pay that's well above minimum wage, and actually has a future to it! Yay again! Not only that, it's got a much more fixed schedule, so we may be able to have a "weekend" on actual weekends, and more often than only every 2-3 weeks. Things are looking up.

Now, if only Mom can stay out of the hospital for a few months, stability may again ensue. I'm hoping the rest of the year will be a bit more predictable than the last few years. I hesitate to say "normal", because I don't think I want any more of what has been my "normal" in the recent past.

If I can catch Patch, I'll try to post a picture of him. The half-furred look he's rocking is hilarious.