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Do You Know?

Do you know pain? The creeping, dark fingers, that start with a twinging, almost delicate touch and gradually, over an hour or a day or a week, grasp and claw and grab so tight and so hard that the imprints will never leave you?

Do you know pain? The sudden lightning bolt of agony that stops you, right in your tracks, and leaves you clinging, hanging on for dear life, to the back of a chair, the wall, the bathroom sink, thin air?

Do you know pain? The beast that lives in your pocket, hangs round your neck, drags behind you like Linus’ blanket, always there, reminding you, even though you’re incapable of forgetting?

Do you know pain? The attack on your body which in turn becomes an attack on your mind, turning headache into heartache, inflammation into preoccupation, agony into anger?

I want to reach out and give you a big hug. I’ve been thinking of you lots and hoping you were doing OK. So sorry to hear that you’re doing it tough. I hope the kitty cuddles are a help. My Tilly used to curl up in the small of my back when she knew it was sore. I hope this time passes soon and you’re back on your feet toot sweet. x

I can’t imagine the constant pain needed to survive, the shorts bursts of pain of illness is bad enough. The worry and the angst of recurrent pain even with the knowledge that it’s saving your life must be so hard to endure and my first hand experience is that it’s hard to watch and feel so helpless. Hugs to you and the family.

Thanks Nanette, it is hard. But some days I’m fine, virtually no pain, and then others (like the day I wrote this post) the pain is shocking. I am just keeping my eyes on the prize of 5 years remission.