Personally I think it is perfectly okay that you had Harry and Ron talk like adults. Because for one Harry spent the first 5 years of his life surounded by adults so he would naturally talk like them and Ron would probably try and talk like Harry because he is his best friend.

fickle,fickle,bitchy, pregnant, neglectful lily. I'm dissapointed in you, but at least you're with the man your meant to be with... for now. Next thing we know, you'll be pregnant with Remus's puppies!

Snape, that disgusting b stard, does not seem upset about Lily being pregnant, which means he thinks the fetus is his because she had sex with him. The fact that she had sex with someone so repugnant and who treats Harry so poorly, is bad enough that Sirius should get custody of Harry and make sure she and her lover/new husband have zero access to the Potter money and properties. Her new husband shouldn't be allowed within a foot of Harry Lily's choice to marry the reptile should mean she lives in dreary shacks with no Frech beach houses. After all, she deserves a horrible life for betraying James, Harry and Sirius.