Are you enamored with the size and curvatures of our big, loving government? Do you yearn for a quick and easy romantic bonding? Try screening procedures at your local airport. You’ll establish an intimate bond for life. Critics may call it a “junk bond,” but that’s true only according to their old-fashioned value system with its absolute standards — an absurdity in the era of relative Keynesian morals and redistributive justice.

In the eyes of the big, loving government you are a “junk asset” in need of security and equal protection. In practical terms this translates to an equal redistribution of pat-downs, as well as massive participation in the making of completely unbiased naked videos regardless of age, gender, body type, or membership in a certain murderous cult you may or may not belong to.

That’s what happens when you subscribe to the principle to each according to his need without reading the fine print: the government gets to define your needs for you. As a result, even those who didn’t vote for this administration are getting their junk squeezed. It’s called redistributive justice.

For this particular purpose, the government has an arm called the Transportation Security Administration, or TSA. It has been put in control of the airports, to which it lovingly refers to as “junk yards,” operating under the slogan “if everyone is a suspect then no one is a suspect.”

The objective of redistributive justice at the airport is to make homicidal jihadist maniacs feel as uncomfortable about wanting to blow up the place as their fellow passengers who may not have entertained such thoughts previously. An equal redistribution of guilt presumes an equal redistribution of criminal intent. That makes equal treatment of all passengers as terror suspects a fair practice.

As an added bonus, universal pat-downs promote an equal redistribution of venereal and other infectious diseases when the TSA agents don’t change their gloves. So when Barack Obama promised to spread the wealth around from the bottom up, he meant it literally. Someone should tell the government to make it the official motto of the TSA.

My friend Rocco, on the other hand, believes in old-fashioned standards. That means he also prefers the old-fashioned profiling. A man of Sicilian ancestry, he is easily mistaken for a Middle Easterner. By his own admission, he used to be singled out for security screenings more often than others, but it only made him feel safer because he knew the system was working. That was in the pre-TSA days. He has since signed up as a building contractor in Iraq and feels safer being mistaken for an Arab.

Five years ago, all passengers on New York subways were subjected to “unbiased” random bag searches in the name of equal redistribution of homicidal intentions. The People’s Cube responded to that with an editorial which equally applied the same “unbiased randomness” to all other activities by the city agencies and officials. Thus, the Fire Department would randomly douse one house per neighborhood per week, inevitably soaking a real fire every so often. The Sanitation Department would remove random objects from people’s driveways — a garbage bag, a car, and sometimes a random family member. City hospitals would perform random heart surgeries and treat patients for random diseases without bias towards their actual malady. And Mayor Bloomberg himself would invest his money randomly, by spinning the wheel at Atlantic City to see what he should do with his billions.

After a few short months even the progressive New Yorkers found the practical implementation of their own ideas of fairness and redistributive justice too absurd to continue. Fast forward five years. Our big, loving federal government picked up the same concept — only now it upgraded it from “random” to “universal — or as they say in New York, “the whole schmear.”

The loving government also got an upgrade, adding the letter “g” before “loving.” Well, hello, junkies!

One wonders, if universal strip searches are such a great idea, why doesn’t the government also abandon common sense and objective standards in all those other departments? Come to think of it, redistributive justice is still largely neglected in fire prevention. Why isn’t equal house-to-house soaking considered a good way to fight fires? Neither does the FDA require all Americans to take equal doses of Thorazine to prevent individual psychosis. And the government-run Fanny Mae doesn’t engage in an equal redistribution of subprime loans … No, wait, scratch that. Rather, if Janet Napolitano’s personal broker decides to invest equally in all stocks regardless of their performance, she will most definitely sue him for the losses and take her money elsewhere.

How come government officials who otherwise rely on old sensible standards are quick to abandon them in the matters of our life and death? Those of us who still want to live need to know. From where we are getting groped at the security checkpoint, it looks as if the government’s main concern is not protecting our lives, but something entirely different.

A few years back America used “Shock and Awe” to subdue Iraq. Today, it seems, America is itself being subdued with a subtler, gentler version of “Shock and Awe” at its own airports.

29 Comments, 20 Threads

We’ve got Lefties saying they want to ‘feed’ the poor children and we’ve got the Lefties saying the “poor” are chronically OBESE.

WTF is wrong with this picture?

Every idiot, panty-waist pansy who will allow liberty and freedom to be summarilay taken away from ALL Americans for the “safety” and “greater good” of a “PC” dips*it society deserves to be shot into outer-space with a “kick me” tattoo engraved on their tuckus so the aliens can laugh too.

If Richard Redd had been given a hot shot and been burred wrapped in pig skin,and the crotch bomber was already inline for trip to the virgin camels I might, repeat might believe defense of the Nation and it’s citizens was a priority. If half of the scum in Gitmo were now dead and a bunch more in line MAYBE I would be less disgusted with the Federal government.

Why must Conservatives always accept liberal terminology? These people are not ‘progressive’ because they live and behave like animals. They steal, lie, cheat and now, they sexually molest the public. They are dictatorial busybodies who sanctimoniously declare that they do good works in the best interests of other people and this is the biggest lie of all. They do things only for one of two reasons: either they seek absolute power or they are too stupid to realize that they are being used as stooges by those who seek that power. The TSA needs to be disbanded, Napolitano needs to be in jail, and the liberals need to be chased out of the nation with pitchforks and torches. And our terminology needs to be changed from ‘progressive’ to Neanderthal.

We need to frequently ask, “What are the ‘Progressives’ progressing towards?”
In “The Bamboo Prison (1954)” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046746/ the “preogessives” were the POWs who turned collaborators with the enemy.

We live in a nation where a mother can go to jail for snapping a cute picture of her near-infant child in a bathtub, or at least end up on a sexual predator database for the rest of her life, but government officials can make a naked scan of your body, or grope you like a Russian women’s prison (sorry, Oleg). As Annie in post number 6 said, they should not be called progressive, they should be called Neanderthal, but the left, through the true believers lame stream media, and the education system, have long ago won the battle of labels. “Up is down, and wrong is right”, Michael Savage often quips. And failed, statist tyranny of the past is called progress, I might add.

Metallic ink that shows quite well with airport body scan! My only problem, I saw no choice for a custom message on T or boxers – I wanted a message of ‘F* U TSA!’ in four inch tall letters! Hell, big as I am, probably even room to add DHS to it as well!

I had been contemplating a Vegas trip just to KO a TSA agent, spend a couple jail days, get it thrown out of court upon testimony of ‘junk fondling’, but I like this shirt even better! Especially with my revised message!

In the 80s and 90s I used to fly a lot from Europe to New Zealand and stopped over in the US frequently. I once had a bad experience with customs at o’ Hare International, extremely rude and unprofessional custom officers, but otherwise I enjoyed stopping over in the US.
Great country with great people.
I am sorry but I now fly over Asia to avoid the full body scan and the pat-down searches.
“Security” personnel (a misnomer in this case) in the US could learn a thing or two from the Israelis.
I would feel safer flying with El Al than with any US airline.
They are professionals and know the value of profiling.
Safety before political correctness.

Yes, Swedes are awakening. I was over visiting friends in Stockholm and there-abouts nearly three years ago, for about a month. For the Islamic ‘immigrants’, the Swede fondness just doesn’t exist any more, and they refer to them as ‘black heads’ often when you get in conversation with English speaking Swedes.

I saw article earlier today about the Stockholm suicide bomber, and as my Swede buddy commented about an hour ago, ‘at least bomber did what he was supposed to, took himself out without killing others’.

I gave up flying three years ago, and today don’t dare enter any airline terminal because once one is in it, one is the TSA’s property, to fondle, grope, probe, and harass at any random goon’s pleasure. I would simply get into a confrontational mode with the first fed I saw and be tempted to give the “agent” a pat-down he or she would never forget. Of course, I would wind up being charged with assault, not being indemnified from the crime as the TSA and its employees are. I simply refuse to submit to the TSA’s version of Islam — “I say you’re going to let me feel you up or subject you to cancer-causing back scattering, or you’re going to jail and you will burn in incarceration forever” — I will not be conditioned to being treated like a piece of government inspected meat. I refuse to be treated as “guilty” and then proven “innocent” I do not answer to the government for my existence; the government should answer to me for its behavior.

The whole purpose of airport screening now is to condition Americans to being treated like government-owned property granting them the “privilege” of flying. There is no other purpose. Neither the DHS nor the TSA has detected and stopped a single hijacker/bomber. Not one. The FBI, hamstrung as it is by political correctness and Attorney-General Holder, has foiled more plots than the TSA could ever dream of or even be capable of foiling. Its gropers and probers and scan-masters are the dross of the population, unemployable or untrustworthy in the productive sector, universally on the dim side. No, the whole “enhanced security” procedures are simply an exercise of power for power’s sake.

A brilliant and accurate article by Oleg Atbashian. May such commen sense increase!
Sparrowhawk’s comment: “The whole purpose of airport screening now is to condition Americans to being treated like government-owned property granting them the “privilege” of flying.”
There you have it.
It is conditioning to normalise total personal invasion and thereby control.
It works in jails, after all.
Whatever the front men say, that must be the purpose. Nothing else makes sense.

Random testing can be surprisingly effective. If you set up drink driving monitors outside pubs and bars, it is amazing how many drunks you catch going out and how many potential heavy drinkers you deter from coming in!

David::
“If you set up drink driving [sic] monitors outside pubs and bars….” you cannot call it ‘random testing’ — as in all things the only solution is to attack the real problem, not to increase the number and types of victims.
Or is it that terrorists only fly to work?
TSA is just another Big govt. fig leaf that can’t hide the sucking sound, just face that fact.

I’m one of the lucky people that don’t have to fly for business or pleasure, so I can state unequivocably that I will not use an American airport or an American airlines anywhere. I will not fly into or out of the US or anywhere within the US. I will not be stripped naked by government agents nor accept molestation by them. Simply, it is not worth it to me to be humiliated, to lose any self respect I may have or to agree to the destruction of my human rights in order to fly. Not worth it at all.

Same sex groping of private areas is a homosexual act by any standards and the people who initiated this have been promoting homosexuality for decades and now they have, under the guise of security, forced it on the general flying public.

I suggest you start a petition demanding the “right to be groped” by a woman instead of a man during the screening procedures. Enhanced pat-down with romantic music and candle light is desirable but optional.

But seriously, it’s really unfair that gays get to have their genitals groped by same-sex TSA officers, while many straights can’t get the same treatment from members of the opposite sex at the airports or anywhere else for that matter.

After reading this one would have to sumize that only Conservatives, and Republicans are traveling abroad or coast to coast while there Liberal Base must drive those highly sought after Electric Cars bypassing the strip searches and hand Job’s otherwise how in the world are they to putting up with all the BS !!!

We’ve been on this road for a long time. First we started random drug-testing of high school athletes. Then we started road blockades to randomly test citizens for drunk driving. Then drug-testing teachers. And so on. And at every stage the reason was crime “prevention” and “safety”. And a good portion of our fellow citizens – perhaps some on this very page – had no problem with it. Well…. this is where it has gotten us. I saw it all along and spoke out, such that I could. And it will go even farther. In fact there is no end. Our government is seeking, step by step, to throw off ALL limits to its power. I hate to break it to you but either the fourth amendment is absolute or it doesn’t exist. Either the government CAN search without a warrant or probable cause or it CAN’T. Period. And no matter how much power you give government crime cannot be prevented: it can only be dealt with after the fact. We will either return – completely – to our Constitutional principles or we will become a totalitarian state. There is no middle-ground position which can be held for any appreciable length of time: nor should we seek one. First the second amendment was abrogated. Now the fourth. What’s next? The First? Looks like it. Let me ask you this: when do we lose the right to a jury trial – at least in some instances, you know, when it’s necessary? For safety. When do we lose the right to an attorney? The right not to incriminate ourselves? (For the greater good, of course.) If we don’t start back the other way – and quickly – I think not much longer at all.

We all know that, when it comes to security, the Israelis have it right and we have it wrong. What we need to do is to emulate them. We can do that by immediately defunding the TSA, and giving each airline the authority to decide who rides on their aircraft. I’m serious, each airline would be responsible for its own security, much like El AL has been for several decades. By doing so, each air traveler would have the freedom to choose the level of security that they are comfortable with, and each airline would be allowed to use whatever method they deem appropriate for their airliner. If you want airline security done right, leave it to the private sector. If you want it botched, give it to the federal government.

In order to do that we would have to repeal (or challenge and have ruled unconstitutional) the Civil Rights act, which should be done. This act protects no one’s rights: it does the opposite of what it’s title states: it takes away our right to free association – which necessarily includes the right not to associate – with anyone we please on any grounds (or no grounds) whatsoever. Until this is done any airline that tried to exclude anyone who was not drooling and/or carrying a Hanna Barbera style bomb with a ticking clock taped to a stick of dynamite would open themselves up to endless lawsuits in the millions of dollars.

You must be out of your mind, the article discusses the differences in values. While both Party’s may be somewhat complicit, the base ideology from the grassroots is like night and day. Just observe the aftermath’s and premises of The One Nation rally in D.C. and the 9/12 Tea Party protest.

Sorry comrade, but you must get a grip on the hustling hurricane of hope hysteria. That banana boat doesn’t float.