Tuesday, September 6, 2011

this is why road trips are only fun when you're young. and stupid. and childless.

waiting for something?

like some posts about my "picnic" themed dresses promised to begin today?

uh, yeah. about that...

we took advantage of the long weekend to make a (long overdue) trip out to visit family. yesterday's drive home, while a fairly long one, was begun in time to get us home before dinner, tucked like bugs in our beds before resuming school and work again today.

instead we pulled into the driveway at 1:30 am, about 15 hours after we began what was supposed to be a 7 hour drive.

now, i can't lie. we did stop and do some shopping. but that was in the blissful beginning part of the trip--well before the torrential downpours, horrendous traffic, and major accidents that turned the turnpike into a parking lot and we sat in one spot for over 3 hours.

that was before i knew i'd be jogging across and along the side of the highway, looking for a spot to hop the fence and get over to the wendy's before i peed my pants right there in full view of the truckers and vacationers also sitting in their cars.

and the spot i finally chose? well, i got caught in the wire fence.

couldn't move.

so i stood there debating my options--none of which were pretty as i'm sure you can well imagine. the googiedaddy could hardly leave a car full of kiddos parked in the left hand lane of the pennsylvania turnpike to come rescue his stranded wife.

and there wasn't a whole lot of people offering to run to the aid of the crazy lady straddling the fence (is that a wet spot i see on her butt? lock the doors dear. she has a wild look in her eyes.)

really, i should have gone with my first idea--which was to knock on the door of the motor home parked next to us and throw myself at their mercy.

i ended up tearing my pants to free myself.

desperation is a funny thing. desperation, and the feeling that your bladder is about to burst in a big gooey explosion.

this was also before i held my two-year old on the side of the road as the "mommy potty" because she'd already peed her pants once andi had no more blankets to sop up her car seat with (and i'd learned my lesson once about trying to hop the fence, so its the roadside for everyone under 30).

or held a different blanket up as a guard for another daughter to relieve herself right there between mile markers 100 and 100.2 (you may not want to walk there).

or just gave up completely and laughed hysterically when little man just stood in the open van door and let fly.

the boy got some serious distance.

(seriously, you really don't want to walk there. the googie family left their...uhh..mark.)

it was not our proudest moment.

this was also well before gigi completely lost it and went crazy bonkers, screaming for the last two hours of the trip that her arm was going "over dere" and her seatbelt was TOOO TIIIIGHT.

i really don't know what that first thing means. but it was clearly quite traumatic.

it was rough.

so i'll just get back to you tomorrow on that whole "picnic" thang, k?

in the meantime, in case you missed it~~here's the post that was up over at bugaboo, mr, mini & me last week! it's kind of the intro to this...