Molson Coors is releasing Animee, a new bloat-resistant beer targeted at women. Supposedly, the brewery spent two years developing the "lightly sparkling and finely filtered" beer that comes in three flavors: clear filtered, crisp rosé and zesty lemon.

I don't know why they bothered with three different flavors since they'll all probably taste like varying levels of piss water. Come on, light and sparkling? Finely filtered zesty lemon? More piss or more water? This is not beer...which, turns out, is kinda the point.

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Animee (a French word that means livened up) is Molson Coor's effort in re-gaining the women beer market by turning beer into something their advertisers and business strategists assume women want. Top on that list? Not feeling bloated. It's unclear how Molson Coors managed to turn Animee into being "bloat-resistant"—all they specify is that the beer is less gassy—so who knows how effective it'll be. I'm probably not alone in thinking this will fail. [Molson Coors via Eater]