Funny True Stories
Sexual Urges

I never quite figured out why the sexual
urge of men and women differ so much. And I never
have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head
and women with their heart.

For Example:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually
says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you
to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't
you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night,
I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice
lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed department
store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different and very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd
just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair
for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked
out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...
she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all
of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally
said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."