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Funny satire stories about FIFA

Aliens from the distant planet of Tharg have officially protested to FIFA that they were not invited to the 2014 football World Cup currently taking place in Brazil.
A spokesman for the green-skinned race of decapods said, "We were very sad not to...

Nigel Farage could stand to lose UKIP a substantial amount of votes after stating that the computer game Pro Evolution Soccer is only played by "fucking homos" and "dykes".
Mr Farage, a huge fan of the FIFA franchise and good friend of Richard Scu...

Li Win Don, a Chinese teenager living in China has become the first player to unlock the secret code on FIFA 14 after he scored with both Ameobi brothers in the same match.
The miracle feat occurred at 14:30 GMT last Wednesday, to which EA Sports...

Sammy Caruthers of Guildford announced yesterday his own provisional 23 man England football squad for the World Cup 2014 in Brazil this June.
Sammy, who goes to school at St Margarets Church of England primary, said that changes could be made l...

It's the moment that nerds have been waiting for for months. Who will play the next Doctor Who? Who? The 12th actor to play famous British sci-fi character Doctor Who was revealed last night. Matt Smith, who has played the role for the last few years...

He was elected the president of the World Society of Friends of Suspenders in the 1970s. He incurred criticism from female footballers in 2004 when he suggested that women should "wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts to create a more female aesthe...

Salisbury, MD - Local roommate Mike Harron "is really having trouble believing the guy dodged all those fucking shots." The Salisbury University junior, "honestly cannot believe that just fucking happened."
"He was on the ground in last stand, wha...

Wembley HQ, England: With Team GB consolidating their third position in the Olympic tables, now it is time to shout a big "Hurrah" for the England Football team, who are third best at infighting, shagging each others wife's, getting boo'ded at by th...

After last nights penalty shoot-out against the cool Italians, England and the FA have decided to sue both the EUFA and FIFA on the grounds of crimes against humanity, mental torture and a flagrant show of discrimination against England, English play...

Qatar - Did he fall or was he pushed? An unfortunate dunking in Qatar's equivalent of the Diana, Princess of Whales Memorial Fountain this evening saw Premier League chairman Sir David Richards wet himself all over in the Doha Shangri-La Hotel's dec...

Beer and sex must be sold at all venues hosting matches in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, football's world governing body, Fifa, has insisted.
Fifa General Secretary Jerome Valcke said the right to sell beer and sex must be enshrined in a World Cup...

FIFA president Sepp Blatter has been credited with solving the long-running Stephen Lawrence murder case after a gang of white racists agreed to shake hands with the parents of Stephen Lawrence.
"I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner," s...

At a press conference celebrating the impact of pay per view viewing on football Sepp Blatter sensationally claimed today that there was no such thing as racism in football and he had no idea what the "dark skinned races" were complaining about.

Professional football stadiums will have to use much smaller pitches than are currently used for playing matches if FIFA, the governing body of the sport, passes a new rule currently being considered in Zurich. The idea to make the professional socce...

The result of an All African Games qualifier between Nigeria and Ghana has been hotly disputed after 'mysterious objects' were found in the dressing room, according to reports in the Niger Delta Standard.
Nigeria, who had chalked up a 3-1 first l...

Finalists from Britain's Got Talent, Stavros Flattley and Son, are being sent in to Greece to help solve the country's economic crisis.
British Home Secretary Theresa Mayormaynot, has confirmed that the huge-personalitied gentleman and his son hav...

Having come to an arrangement with the International Olympic Committee over a suitable allocation of free tickets and heavily-subsidised (if not completely free) hotels as part of his new term of dictatorship over FIFA, Sad Bladder has announced some...

England manager Fabio Capello has ordered his players to let Switzerland "have some" in the Euro 2012 qualifier.
Switzerland is famous for having spawned Sepp Blatter and for making cheese with holes in it.
Capello is tipping in form striker Da...

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