Note: Larger screencap HERE for those of you that wouldn't be caught dead(!) at Sears.com

Sears, in the spirit of Halloween (or zombie apocalypse) has created a zombie department on their website. I took a look at it, it was hard to navigate because I don't know what 'zhabbanh mahn zamblahz' means. Then the dog farted in her sleep right next to me so I had to get up and walk around the apartment to air out for a minute. By the time I sat back down I had lost all interest. In living. I'm serious, her ass is really that bad. Silent by violent, futile but brutal, yo. Love you, Chloe! (now go sleep by your mommy)