As we enter the last couple of weeks of the year, it is an ideal time to look back on the year gone by. Perhaps many a day was mundane, quite a few days could reflect pain especially when we reminisce about a loved one who has departed but look again and most days would have been actually joyous for never a day must have gone by without some laughter. That we are alive to read this is a blessing, that we have the eyesight to read is a blessing , that we are blessed with riches and resources is a precious gift denied to many; oh just look around and you will realize you are blessed beyond imagination.

The tapestry of our life mimics the changing seasons; there are the monsoons, the winters, the spring and the summers. Individually we all have our preferences for the season we like best and the season we dislike; yet we value each season for it is essential for our survival. The seasons also influence the environment around and bring us the varied joys that nature has blessed us with. True when the season is at the extreme it brings with it pain, suffering, destruction and disruption but from that chaos we have only grown bigger, better and stronger. Look back on the year as well the years gone by and you will recollect with fondness how every event has helped shape you to be the individual you are.

This is a time for thanks and this is a time for hope.

We must be thankful for not just the blessings but many a time, it is the pain that helped us become stronger. We need to be thankful for the people who hurt us; because of them when we realize the value of the people who stand by us and those we love. We need to be grateful for the times when we fell and bruised our self, for that is when we understood how strong we are. If we had not failed, we would not appreciate the value of getting things right and if we had not occasionally lost our temper, we would never know our limitations. We may not be proud of the vain things we did but for sure it taught us that we have a mean streak in us. We hate those who criticized us and gossiped about us but certainly if we pause and reflect we must thank them for opening our eyes to our own faults. Most of all we must be thankful for the love we are blessed with; family, friends, colleagues and strangers who in varied ways stepped up when we needed them the most.

As we round of the year, it is wonderful time to look forward in hope. It is that time of the year when we jot down our New Year Resolutions. Yes a large part of the list must be carry forwards from the year just ending, but now we can hope to begin anew and succeed. Oh yes, we have new dreams that we need to realize during the coming year and we have the faith and hope that we can attain it in the coming year/s. We have hope for our loved ones to discover their own individuality, chalk out their own paths and make a smooth transition towards their destiny. We hope that the world would change for the better and that we would be part of that transformation. Most of all we must hope to play an important part in contributing to that hope through our thoughts, words and deeds. Unless we have hope, we will never have the courage to ‘stand up and be counted’.

Try these:

Begin with making your New Year Resolution list. You have still have 3 weeks to reflect and update it but you need to start now.

List out 2 things that you will do in the coming year that will enable you to :

As we grow up there is a tendency to think more rationally, behave more maturely and respond more circumspectly. The fact is that with age comes responsibility, pragmaticism and the need for socially acceptable interaction. However, in the process we often end being artificial, contrived and awkward for we have lost our natural grace, spontaneity and exuberance. We curb our enthusiasm, react with restrain and seek to fit in. The adult in us desperately tries to hide the child in us, fetters us with chains of social norms and nearly suffocates us as we behave artificially to meet social norms. Apparently life is fun but it is a put on, we project it as fulfilling whilst in reality it is suffocating and beneath the surface we crave to express ourselves unfettered, carefree and joyously.

Ask yourself when are you most happy. The weekends for sure especially when there is a policy to drop the veneer of power dressing. Picnics and outings come a close second for there are no shackles of do’s and dont’s. Informal social gatherings, where you are at liberty to be your own person. Holidays, when you fully control your life and do pretty much as you please. When you are enjoying a social event be it a musical program, a theater event or a party with friends. Don’t forget the treks, the boys/ girls day out and the ever favorite class mates meets. Pause and ask yourself what makes these events special moments for me. The answer is obvious, you drop your mask of being someone you really are not and become the real you.

The challenge is to seamlessly integrate that child like enthusiasm, spontaneity and exuberance into daily life and balance it with the social norms and pressures imposed on you as a professional, an executive and an adult. It may look a tad difficult but in reality it is the child in us that we often curb that allows us to retain our sanity, allow us to cope with stress and most of all make life fun. We discuss the latest headlines with colleagues giving it our own touch of interpretation, we argue and differ with others, we plan a meal out with colleagues spontaneously and we get all agog when we talk about something passionately. We can do more; we can personalize our workstation to reflect our individuality, we can surprise others with a gift or a treat most unexpectedly, genuinely appreciate something about another person, personalize a sharing with individuals (example you know a person is an avid gardener and you come across an excellent article/ book / clipping on gardening and you make it a point to share that with the individual concerned).

One danger though, of bringing out the child in us, is our over enthusiasm that results us in misusing social media and irritating others. Mindlessly posting, forwarding and liking just to garner attention to ourselves, simply because of the ease of doing it, is a very real issue for then we are childish not childlike. There is definitely a need to balance our adult like maturity with our child like enthusiasm. Life out there is fun because the adult in us takes care of our future needs and the child in us allows us to experience the wonders around us that makes life colorful, magical and enjoyable.

Try these:

Revisit old photo albums and make a collage of the pictures that bring out the special moments from your life. Share it with family and friends at a special occasion like a milestone birthday or anniversary.

A week or two prior to your birthday, review and list out all the fun times, high points, special moments, awkward moments and people who made the year gone by special for you. If inclined to, share them with your friends and family.

From early childhood, most of us have unconsciously adopted the undesirable trait of making excuses to rationalize non performance. It begins with us making excuses for our poor handwriting, our inability to meet deadlines or stick to our schedules, not doing homework etc. Later it manifests in us having various regrets be it in our academic performance, tardy work output, out inability to meet targets and deadlines and our constant rebuttal of any criticism directed at us. Unfortunately, in a highly competitive world, all that matters is results and no excuse is ever good enough for not meeting the expectations set. So achieving results is simply a matter of eliminating excuses.

Here are some tips to overcome our tendency to create excuses to rationalize non performance.

1 Have goals – The major difference between successful people and those who are not successful is the goal focused approach of the former set of people. When goals are set, one can direct one’s energies to focus on the goal. When the end objective is clear, we would always finds ways and means of overcoming all obstacles on the way. More importantly goals give a purpose, a direction and meaning to our life. A student who targets a certain rank or percentage in the exams knows that he/ she can attain it only if the studies are planned, prepared and diligently adhered too. Similarly, someone who has set his/ her eyes on a specific career choice would also then chart out the progress systematically, get appropriate inputs and suggestions and pursue the goal with passion.

2.Inbuilt motivation – A goal helps one to see the and aim for something specific. However, very often the goal is at a distance, the efforts required herculean, the obstacles along the way challenging and we are prone to give up and make excuses to justify our stand. Hence it is essential that we have some strong compelling motivation to keep us going even when our spirits are drooping, our physical energies failing and our mind wavering. A good motivation is the perfect antidote for our tendency to make excuses. Have you noticed that when one is eagerly looking forward to something pleasurable like going for a picnic, an holiday or even to see a movie we would find a way to overcome any obstacle that crops up for we are deeply to motivated to attain that goal.

3. Avoid giving in to temptation – Perhaps the single most common excuse comes from the fact that we succumb to the temptation to chase pleasurable alternatives rather than focus on the goal in front. Going for a friend’s birthday party or watching an interesting match on the day before a crucial exam or running errands that could have been postponed, to avoid studying are examples of giving in to temptations. A strong sense of priority, a firm resolve to remain detached from pleasurable alternatives, a deep desire to attain the goal set are essential to ensure that one doe not waver from the plans laid out. A very strong motivation like proving your mettle, surprising your critics, being with the best would surely be torch light that beams on the goal and guiding you towards it.

4. Relish achievements – Life would be both boring and stressed if we are only obsessed with attaining our goals. Every goal is actually a series of smaller goals being realized along the way. It is essential that we are aware of each of the sub goals and more importantly pause to enjoy and relish the attainment of these sub-goals. When we are able to relish the small achievements, they provide us added motivation, inspiration and energy to pursue our larger goals. If we take the case of academics, there would definitely be a subject or two that we do not enjoy as much as other subjects. The challenge then is to remain enthused to focus on those subjects so that the learning and subsequent results contribute significantly to one’s larger goal of academic excellence. It is important to enjoy the thrill of completing the set targets especially for those subjects that one finds tough or boring.

5. Don’t give up easily – Many a time, it is not the temptation of alternatives but the sheer pressure of the effort that would deflate our enthusiasm, sap our energy and depress us. Those low periods are the times when one is extremely vulnerable to throw in the towel and quit. Giving up is easy and the excuses will flow but the reality is that your goals remain unattained dreams. When the going gets tough, that is when one has look within for inspiration, motivation and positive action. Maybe a short break would help rejuvenate, perhaps the counsel of an elder or expert would bring fresh perspective or maybe you just have to change tracks and pursue the goal by traversing a different path; what is important is to continue not stop.

Remember that when excuses are gone results are got !

Try these:

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