Flo already misses The Mooch. This is not the Donald Trump I voted for.

In my dreams, Flo sees The Mooch entering a D.C.-area pastry shop. There is a dispute over whether the Mooch or another man is next in line. The Mooch makes the other guy leave the store, and then pulls a gun on the hired help. “Give me the pastry box,” the Mooch says. “Do I look like some kind of pussy to you?” After the terrified clerk gives The Mooch his pastry box, The Mooch shoots him in the foot.

Much later, President Trump and The Mooch are driving on some lonely night highway. The Mooch is at the wheel. He is fucked up on drugs and has an accident. Their SUV overturns into a ravine. President Trump gets out of the wrecked vehicle and holds a handkerchief over The Mooch’s nose and mouth until he is dead.

That’s the kind of stuff Flo wanted from the Trump administration. And now I’ll never get it.

I suspect that if he actually attempted such a thing, it would be an impeachable offense. There's this thing called checks and balances and its Congress with control of the check book, not the President. Sadly, I can definitely see Trump blundering his way into causing a Constitutional Crisis.

Any 70-year-old father without a legal education would write a letter that potentially implicates him in legal troubles for for his 39-year-old son. Junior's just a baby! He doesn't know what happened!

But why stop there? We should also stop the shameful and bigoted practice of holding charity drives for the poor and food-insecure, as this is essentially discrimination against the rich and well fed. And why do we let people raise money on facebook for people who need expensive treatment? This clearly excludes the healthy based on their medical history - more discrimination. Where is the free money for the well-off and healthy? They have it tough too!

I think Trump is on to a winner here. This is one area where he can score points with people inclined to support him. Another good tack to take would be to harp on how Christians are also way oppressed.