Pages

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Take the 110+ Point "Filipino" Test

INSTRUCTIONS: Add 3 points for each characteristic that applies to you, 2 points if it applies to your parents, 1 point if it applies to your friend(s). Add the total number of points in the end.
MANNERISM & PERSONALITY TRAITS:

2 1. You point with your lips.
3 2. You eat using hands--and have it down to a technique.
2 3. Your other piece of luggage is a Balikbayan box.
2 4. You nod upwards to greet someone.
3 5. You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbow on your
knee while eating.
1 6. You use a rock to scrub your self in the shower.
2 7. You have to kiss your relative on the cheek as soon as you enter
the room.
3 8. You're standing next to eight big boxes at the airport.
2 9. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir".
3 10. You smile for no reason.
2 11. You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your
eyebrows repeatedly.
2 12. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
13. You use an umbrella for shade on a hot summer days.
2 14. You scratch your head when you don't know the answer.
2 15. You never eat the last morsel of food on the table.
3 16. You like bowling.
3 17. You know how to play pusoy and mah-jong.
3 18. You find dried up morsels of rice stuck on your shirt.
2 19. You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun.
20. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name, i.e. "Jhun," "Bhoy,"
"Rhon."
2 21. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and
say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in
front of the TV.
3 22. Your middle name is your mothers maiden name.
23. You like everything imported or "state-side."
3 24. You check the labels on clothes to see where it was made before
buying.
2 25. You hang your clothes out to dry.
3 26. You are perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your
elbows resting on your knees.
2 27. You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for all events.
2 28. You always offer food to all your visitors.

VOCABULARY:

29. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."
2 30. You say "for take out" instead of "to go."
2 31. You "open" or "close" the light.
2 32. You asked for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."
2 33. You asked for a "pentel-pen" or a "ball-pen" instead of just "pen."
2 34. You refer to the refrigerator as the "ref" or "pridyider."
35. You say "kodakan" instead of take a picture.
2 36. You order a McDonald's instead of "hamburger" (pronounced
ham-boor-jer)
2 37. You say "Ha?" instead of "What."
2 38. You say "Hoy" to get someone's attention.
3 39. You answer when someone yells "Hoy."
3 40. You turn around when someone says "Psst!"
2 41. You say "Cutex" instead of "nail polish."
2 42. You say "he" when you mean "she" and vice versa.
2 43. You say "aray" instead of "ouch."
44. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo."
2 45. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for over
acting, or "TNT" for, well, you know.
2 46. You say "air con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner.
2 47. You say "brown-out" instead of "black-out."

HOME FURNISHINGS:

2 48. You use coconut husks to polish your floor.
2 49. You use a "walis ting-ting" or "walis tambo" as opposed to a
conventional broom.
50. You have a "Weapons of Moroland" shield hanging in the living room
wall.
2 51. You have a portrait of "The Last Supper" hanging in your dining room.
2 52. You own a Karaoke System.
53. You own a piano that no one ever plays.
54. You have a tabo in the bathroom.
55. Your house has too many burloloys.
56. You have two to three pairs of tsinelas at your doorstep.
57. Your house has an ornate wrought iron gate in front of it.
2 58. You have a rose garden.
59. You have a shrine of the Santo Ninyo in your living room.
60. You own a "barrel man" (you pull up the barrel and you see something
that looks familiar. schwing...)
2 61. You cover your livin room furnitures with bedsheets.
2 62. Your lamp shades still have the plastic covers on them.
2 63. You have plastic runners to cover the carpets in your house.
64. You refer to your VCR as a "beytamax."
2 65. You have a rice dispenser.
66. You own a turbo broiler.
2 67. You own one of those fiber optic flower lamps.
68. You own a lamp with the oil that drips down the strings.
2 69. You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging somewhere in the
dining room.
70. You have a wooden tinikling dancers on the wall.
71. You own capiz shells chandeliers, lamps, or placemats.

AUTOMOBILES:

72. You own a Mercedes Benz and you call it "chedeng."
2 73. You own a huge van conversion.
74. Your car chirps like a bird or plays a tune when it is in reverse.
75. Your can horn and can make 2 or 3 different sounds.
76. Your car has curb feelers or curb detectors.
77. Your car has too many "burloloys" like a Jipneys back in P.I.
3 78. You hang a Rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
2 79. You have an air freshener in your car (those lemon-smelling ones).

FAMILY:

3 80. You have aunts and uncles named "Baby," "Girlie," or "Boy."
3 81. You were raised to believe that every Filipino is an aunt, uncle or
cousin.
3 82. Your Dad was in the Navy.
83. You have a family member or relative that works in the Post Office.
3 84. Your mom or sister or wife is a nurse.
85. Your parents call each other "mommy" and "daddy," or "ma" and "pa."
3 86. You have family member that has a nickname that repeats itself,
i.e., "Deng-Deng," "Ling Ling," or "Mai-Mai." etc.

FOOD:

3 87. You put hot dogs in your spaghetti.
88. You consider dilis the Filipino equivalent to french fries.
2 89. You think that eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a
great morning meal.
90. You order things like tapsilog, tocilog, or longsilog at restaurants.
2 91. You distinctively grab a toothpick after a meal.
2 92. You order a "soft drink" instead of a "soda."
2 93. You dip bread in your morning coffee.
94. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of monosodium
glutimate as "Ajinomoto"
2 95. Your Cupboards are full of Spam, Vienna Sausage, Ligo, and Corned
Beef, which you which you refer to as Karne Norte.
2 96. "Goldilocks" means more to you than just a character in a fairytale.
3 97. You appreciate a fresh pot of rice.
98. You bring your "baon" most of the time to work.
99. Your "baon" is usually something over rice.
100. Your neighbors complain about the smell of tuyo on sunday Mornings.
3 101. You eat rice for breakfast.
2 102. You use your fingers to measure the water when cooking rice.
2 103. You wash and re-use disposable plastic utensils and styrofoam cups.
2 104. You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the refrigerator.
2 105. You have an ice shaver for making halo-halo.
106. You eat purple yam flavored ice cream.
107. You gotta have a bottle of Jufran or Mafran handy.
2 108. You fry spam or hot dogs and eat them with rice.
2 109. You think that half-hatched duck eggs are a delicacy.
3 110. You know that "chocolate meat" is not really made with chocolate.

Tally your scores and see what category you belong.

259-345 points: Welcome to America! Judging from your high score,
you are an obvious transplant from the Philippines. There's no doubt what
your ethnic identity is! You're a Filipino, through and through.

173-258 points: Congratulations, you've retained most of the Filipino
traits and tendencies your family have instilled in you.

172 and under: You have OFT (Obvious Filipino Tendencies.) Go with
the flow to reach full Filipino potential. Prepare for assimilation;
resistance is futile!