A bampot of a Burntisland individual has destroyed the new Forth crossing

A raging Rosyth bairn has eyeballs tattooed with the Dunfermline players’ names

While a flounder the size of Edinburgh is found in Falkland estate pond.

Penultimate

The true Stone of Destiny has been found on Tentsmuir beach

Finally

A pensioner from St Andrews has adopted Donald Trump

Trump settles to being a St Andrews caddie.

*Inspired by an actual recent headline from a Fife newspaper; stramash-fight/scene; bampot-fool; bairn-child; MSP-Member of the Scottish Parliament-sadly now with extra Members deluded enough to think Independence is a bad idea.