Jonathan Wynne-Jones is the Religious Affairs and Media Correspondent of the Sunday Telegraph. He was described as "the scourge of church and state" at the Britsh Press Awards for 2009. He tweets @JonWynneJones.

Muslims are the top card in humanist version of Top Trumps

A Christian version of the card game Top Trumps, called Testament Trumps, has been released, apparently to help children learn more about biblical characters. Not to be outdone, the humanists have also launched their own version, called God Trumps.

A pack has been sent to me from the New Humanist magazine, and it's brilliantly satirical, as you'd expect. With the caricatures by the Guardian's excellent cartoonist, Martin Rowson, it pitches Catholics against Anglicans and pagans against Mormons.

It goes without saying that the Anglicans, represented by a jam-holding woman cleric who looks suspiciously like June Osborne, the Dean of Salisbury, are thumped by the Catholics, beaten in every category, from age and wealth to follower dedication and daffiest doctrine.

In fact the Church of England, whose followers are summed up as "hobbyists, hedge-betters, people who like a song on a Sunday morning", is one of the worst cards in the whole pack. It is the Reliant Robin of the religion world. Only the Rastafarians fare worse.

Although it's debatable whether scoring high is actually that desirable, particularly when it comes to daffiest doctrine.

Born-again Christians come top in this category for their belief in the Rapture, when they believe Jesus will return with trumpets, a gathering of saints etc. They score 10 out of 10 along with Scientologists, Jehovah's Witnesses, and Sunni and Shia Muslims.

Rather unsurprisingly, secularists are deemed to have the least daffy doctrine, which is "no rules, just individual morality". Their weapon of choice is "logic, reason, science, sarcasm and Dawkins", which scores a healthy 7 out of 10, only being beaten by born again Christians with their "threats of hell fire".

Top trump is the Muslim: "Well done to the extremist section of this faith for making it impossible to have any kind of reasoned debate, or even a good-humoured laugh around this subject. You trump everyone – even the integrity of this game!"