Lively Introduction to Prayer

Tapping into one of the most potent forces in the universe.

Dateline: 1997. Psalms were being recited in synagogues around the world. Women had accepted the call to light Shabbat candles for the first time. Just before Shabbat, the hostage's mother, Esther Wachsman, made a dramatic and emotional appearance on Israeli television, pleading with the public to pray for her son Nachshon who had been kidnapped by Hamas. Earlier that day, the terrorists had released a video of Nachshon begging the government to relent to their demands.

The entire country spent Shabbat in tense apprehension, not knowing the fate of the hostage. When Shabbat was over we received the horrible news that Nachshon had been murdered during a rescue attempt by the IDF. The Wachsman family sat shiva, and thousands of Jews from all backgrounds flocked to their home in the Ramot section of Jerusalem.

The broken father barely answered the reporter's questions, until one correspondent had the audacity to ask, "Well, what happened to all our prayers?"

The room fell silent as all eyes fell on Yehudah Wachsman, who quietly replied: "All of my life I have been asking God for things, from health to spouse to job, and He always answered me positively. But it is a father's prerogative to say 'no' every so often. This time He said 'no' to our prayers."

The main point of prayer is to build a relationship with the Almighty. The ability to "talk things over" with our Creator and to feel that He hears and reacts to our input is the true power of prayer.

Why Pray?

"Would it spoil some vast eternal plan, if I was a wealthy man?" demanded Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof. This attitude places our entire concept of prayer into question. Is it not chutzpa to tell the Almighty how to run His world? "You made this guy ill, I think You should make him well! You made that guy poor; I think You should make him rich! You sent the Jews into exile, how about redeeming us already?!"

Is it not chutzpa to tell the Almighty how to run His world?

Some questions: 1) A Jew stands before his Creator three times a day, 365 days a year, proclaiming that God is "great, mighty, awesome, etc." We then proceed to request all of our needs ("Give me this and give me that"), and end with our tremendous thanks. But is it really possible to "butter up" God with our praise and then try to get everything out of Him? Is this what prayer is really about?!

2) It's unlikely that this method would work for even a mortal king. Imagine going to the palace every day, praising the king's benevolence and greatness -- and then requesting favors and cash!

3) Furthermore, very often a person is not even aware what is to his benefit and what is not. The concept of a "blessing in disguise" is when something occurs that seems to be negative, but in the end it turns out to be very beneficial. So why bother articulating our needs and desires when one cannot flatter the Creator nor tell Him how to run His world -- especially when we don't even know for sure what is to our own benefit?!

The Concept of Prayer

We live in a world of action. "Six days shall you do all your activities, and rest on Shabbat." This teaches that it is a very important mitzvah to support one's family, and one must try every means to do so. It's not enough to "just have faith" and to pray. We must make the effort to cure our illnesses, find jobs, and protect our security.

On the other hand, anyone accepting the Torah's concept of the Almighty must believe that ultimately, God cures us, not the antibiotic. God finds us the job, not the headhunter. God protects the country, not the Air Force. Without the will of God, all human efforts are meaningless!

How do we bridge this apparent contradiction? On one hand, we sweat to earn a living, and then believe that it all came from above and was decreed on Rosh Hashana!

Prayer is the bridge between our necessary efforts and our faith in the Almighty.

The answer is prayer. To connect with God and realize that we have a "long lost Father" in Heaven who wants only our benefit. If you suddenly discover your long-lost father who happens to be a billionaire and wants to help you out, you would not demand, "prove it!" but rather ask "what's your phone number!" (heard from Rabbi Noah Weinberg)

A Jew, three times every day, must remind himself that he constantly stands in front of a "great and awesome" God, and must exhibit humility. He must remind himself that in spite of the fact that his business (which he sweated to establish) is prospering, he must still request all of his needs from the Boss, and not to forget gratitude.

We live on a dual plane. We take the antibiotic, and pray. We maintain armed forces, and pray for their success. Prayer is the bridge between our necessary efforts and our faith in the Almighty. Learn about it, become proficient, enjoy it -- and reap the eternal benefits!

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About the Author

Rabbi Avi Geller has been a senior lecturer at Aish Hatorah since 1980. He is an alumnus of Lakewood, Be'er Yaakov and Mir yeshivas, and gives a popular weekly parsha class in Jerusalem's Old City. His audio lectures are available at Aish audio center, including tapes on the entire Chumash, Mitzvah series, and Holiday series. He lives in Jerusalem with his wife and 8 children.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 6

(6)
Daniel Shkop,
May 2, 2010 4:35 PM

hoshienu.org

I thought you might be interested in hoshienu.org - an online community of people who learn and pray for the well being of our brethren.

(5)
Miryam,
October 21, 2004 12:00 AM

Wonderful article!

This is one great article Rabbi Geller, you touched the pure point and meaning of praying. Thank you for this article, noone could have explained it better and with enough detail than you.

(4)
BEATRICE SCHLESINGER,
October 20, 2004 12:00 AM

About prayer you are right I do pray to G-D for health and Health of children and the world. All your writings are wonderful. Thank You for giving me a lift. Peace and Faith.

(3)
Talia,
October 20, 2004 12:00 AM

In the book, Israel; Life In The Shadow Of Terror, is the personal acount of Esther Wachsman. In her acount of the shocking period when her son was taken by Hamas, she relates to us what was felt by the world wide Jewish community. I live in England, and I can say that every single Synagogue in the whole country was saying prayers for our brother in Israel, and for every other brother and sister who risked their lives daily for the sake of the protection of the Jewish people and her homeland. Mrs Wachsman said that G-d did answer her and every other person's prayers, it just wasn't the answer that everyone was hoping and praying for.
G-d does give his helping hand, but we mustn't take advantage of this. We must work for our livings, and not mock The Almighty's kindness.

(2)
Noelle Stills,
October 18, 2004 12:00 AM

Thanks for the article

Thanks for the important information in the article.I want to thank AISH for the website and all the healthy information they provide for me.

(1)
Bryan Bridges,
October 17, 2004 12:00 AM

Blessings in Disguise

When I was sixteen, I was diagnosed with bone cancer. My family and friends sincerely prayed for my recovery, but I lost my leg to the disease and needed to undergo two years of chemotherapy. However, I think that the cancer was a kind of medicine that I needed. I was a straight-A student who had begun slipping in school and hanging out with the wrong crowd. The cancer (really the treatment for it) enabled me to see who my real friends were (those who continued coming to the hospital to visit me--not my new friends, who quickly lost interest). The time in the hospital allowed me to mature a little and regain my focus on academic success. Finally, losing my leg taught me (a high school athlete) how to slow down (literally and figuratively) and to value and nurture the real me (what's on the inside). I ended up graduating from an Ivy League college. I'm 32 years old now and have been cancer free for 14 years (Thank G-D). I now teach public high school in Harlem. Sometimes I wish that I had two legs, but I wouldn't trade the experience of losing my leg and going through chemotherapy for anything; I'm a better man because of it. So, ultimately, I feel that the prayers of my friends and family were answered--just not according to their design.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!