Posts Tagged ‘Z’

Zelda, the Queen Kitty, and everyone, especially our boxer Norman, knows it. When he attempted to overthrow her as ruler of the house, she made sure his face bore the scars of his failed attempt. Now both our dogs live in fear. Zelda is so mean she harasses them endlessly, sneaking up on them and attacking without reason. Not to mention the suffering of the poor birds and rabbits in our neighborhood whose parts I have found everywhere, including in my van. She is definitely one mean kitty!

Zea’s favorite sport is to get my attention. I cannot type without her on my lap, I cannot go to the bathroom alone, and my sleeping nights are now her on my pillow and me without it. Jealousy is also part of the game…my hubby cannot kiss me without her hissing between us. A constant loud purring is now part of any of our discussions.

The funny part is, besides that, people don’t believe me when I tell them there is a cat in the house. She hates people so much she hides until they leave, so she doesn’t have to deal with them. Few people actually meet my cat. Hopefully this page will prove to them I am owned by one.

Flowers destroyed shortly after photo. Also, human.

About the pictures. The pic with the flowers was a deal a made with her. If I took the pic, she could destroy the flowers after, which is exactly what she did 5 seconds after the flash. After I took the pic on the desk (below), I got claws in my face.

You are so dead...again, as I already killed you once.

You would think I would have learned my lesson after that, but no, I had to try a pic with that santa hat. Boy I really made a mistake with that one. Let’s just say it’s a good thing the sight of blood doesn’t make me faint

Don’t get me wrong: Zhenya is the most beautiful, intelligent and affectionate cat, but he is also very possessive and at times possessed! I still have a prominent scar on my left hand as a souvenir from the morning Zhenya had a fit because I was going to work and leaving him on his own for a whole day! Were it in his power I would never leave the house. I usually have to trick him by throwing a toy to the other side of the room and sneak out…

You go to work, you suffer the consequences. Actually, I want you to go because I got me a hot little tabby coming over for catnip later.

He really loves it when I’m on sick leave and in bed all day, but on the other hand he has no problem with waking me up in the middle of the night if he wants service. He drops the alarm clock to the floor, then he tries to switch the light on (he can push the switch down with his paw but can’t push it to the bottom so it only flickers irritatingly). If that doesn’t work, he pulls down the curtains by hanging from them! He is the most stubborn feline I’ve ever met and NEVER gives up.

Zhenya is a street urchin. I found him on the sidewalk during my lunch hour. He was a cute little ball of fur and when I stopped by, he climbed on my knee and started to purr so I didn’t stand a chance. I took him with me and next day went to see the vet to have him vaccinated. Though Zhenya weighed only 2 kg, it took two vets to hold him still! He’s also a bit of a daredevil.

Outside his acrobatic stunts Zhenya’s favourite activity is to drop things to the floor and he also loves to harass and torture the other cat, Hermine, who is ten years his senior. Eating is quite complicated when Zhenya’s around (and he usually is!) because he tries to steal food from eveyone’s plate!

My house is not a kitty litter box. But yes, I do want to go into the kitty litter box.

What makes Zeus so mean?

* This cat owns one of Typing Slave’s readers

Here is Zeus aka THE BASTARD. He was at the No Kill Shelter for 4 years, only being let out of his “house” for less than 30 minutes a day since he would wack the crap out of the other cats. He would race around and grumble, growl and complain when told to get back in his “house”. He was also noted for smacking and wacking the workers as well and for having a very bad attitude.

When my sister told me about his “unique” personality, how beautiful he was and how he had very expressive/intelligent eyes, I was sure we could handle him and he wouldn’t have to be in the cage all the time. So she brought him home at Christmas time in 2006.

The first week he was wacking everyone right and left while letting out this horrible yowl. Once the other cats learned to give Zeus his space and we refused to back down from his attitude, he settled in for the most part. We can give him hugs, kisses, pets and some very quick cuddles if we have his payment of crunchies right on hand.

If he acts up while walking across the room smacking and grumbling we suggest he go eat his crunchies or go sit on the hope chest and look out the window. If he persists we whip out the big guns: “YOU WANT TO GO IN YOUR HOUSE??”

As you can tell by his name, he is convinced he rules the universe and the rest of us are mere peasants put here to do his will. When he wants something, he will follow me, meow and trip me until I give in to his every whit and whim. These Japanese Bobtails have attitude!

I can forget ever being allowed to eat my own food; Zeus must have his share first and then, and only then, if he has had enough, I can finish his scraps on the plate. There is no hesitation on his part to force his head into my bowl of cereal or ice cream, and if he hears a potato chip bag crackle, I am guaranteed to have to hand them over.

Zeus is also a snob; he hates strangers and since he considers everyone strange, no company is welcome here. If a visitor dares to try and pet him, he will draw first blood.

Yesssss, your tribute pleases me, human worshipper.

When I took him to the vet he was so bad they were afraid to handle him. The woman in charge insisted on going to their basement and getting a box; she then taped, yes taped, him in it with several yards of medical tape, leaving just a few air holes before they would return him to me. They said they could not even touch him in the cage to do tests and neutering without sedating him first.

We are in Punxsutawney, Pa. Zeus’s next goal is to hunt that danged groundhog!

We knew soon after we brought him home that this kitty was a mean one! When he was a kitten, he would decide play at 3 am and attack us in our sleep. Then at 5 am he would bother us to feed him.

As an adult he has retained his unique personality. He hates almost everyone except me and my boyfriend. When we have visitors, he hisses and tries to scratch them or hides and sulks. He used to love to scare my former housecleaner, he would hide in the clothes hamper and jump out when she walked by. Not surprisingly, everyone fears him. I tried to find someone to watch him when we went on vacation and there were no takers. If he comes near my best friend, she freaks out and asks me to take him away. Once my boyfriend’s parents came over for lunch and his mom was sitting on a chair he liked to sit on. He jumped up on the chair next to her and pushed and scratched her to try and make her get off his chair.

I swear I didn't touch the darn dog!

We got another cat a few months ago and he hates her too. He howls at her, swats at her with his paws and sometimes chases her away.

He hates to be brushed, but I have to do it because his hair ends up everywhere if I don’t. I bought leather gloves to protect myself from the bites and scratches he inflicts on me when I brush him. The whole time, he howls like it’s the worst torture in the world.

He also loves to destroy things. Once he chewed apart my computer modem cable right before I had to send a project to a client. He has also ruined my curtains and torn apart the wallpaper in our apartment one night when he thought we stayed out too late.

Zero has been known to jump off my second story balcony to attack strange kitties she sees below. Just last week she jumped off and chased the neighbor’s cat all through their apartment.

One time, she ran out the front door to attack a strange kitty. When I tried to get her to come back in, she attacked me. I had to go to the emergency room (thought I needed stitches) to get my wounds cleaned and receive a tetanus shot.

She loves her catnip, as you can see in the picture. It seems to be the only thing that mellows her out.

She also likes to torment the dog. She will wait for him to abandon his rawhide bone then she will go lie next to it, using it as a pillow. She’ll often lick it and rub her face against it as he looks on.

That blankie up there is looking a bit festive. I may have to take it out.

What makes Zephyr so mean?

My cat is a neutered furball of angry mess. His name is Zephyr, and his nickname is Zephyrelli. Now, when he was first taken off the cold streets, he adored being in a nice warm house. We loved having him here! Until his mean kitty side started to show. We have definitely learned a few things:

1. He HATES anything festive. If it involves a holiday, and there is a decoration for it, it is banished!! He will stomp and crash everything he can reach. Christmas trees? Not on his watch! We tried a very small one, no bigger than a milk carton, and even THIS is too festive for Zephyrelli. He jumps onto the table and smashes it all to the ground. Of course, this is followed by a very luxurious sleep that involves sprawling out in all directions on the table.

2. All tables belong to him. Never mind placemats, those are for the ground. The way he knocks these (and other things down) is this. He will start slowly pushing it to see if he can move it. If successful, he will make a full swat and it will crash down.

3. He must be petted, but only on his time. This is common for other meankitties, and it is the same for Zephyr. If you touch him at any other time, it is instantly playtime, and sharp, hazardous teeth will be embedded into your fingers.

4. Then there is playtime. This involves Z latching his arms around your wrist, biting your fingers, and kicking furiously at your forearm with his back claws. And I mean FURIOUSLY. If it didn’t break the skin, he’ll try again!

5. Ah, the topic of ruining things. Zephyr stops at nothing to get attention. No door can stop him! He has BITTEN the wood off the bottom of the bathroom door AND the carpet in front of the front door! How dare anyone leave Zephyr by himself?!

6. We had to make a sleeping arrangement for Zephyr. He is NOT allowed to sleep in the bedroom anymore. When we first got him, we let him sleep with us. We learned quickly that sleeping humans are NOT tolerated. He walks across you as if you are not even there, sleeps ON your head, paws insanely at your face and even bites your nose. We leave him in the living room and close the bedroom door at night. Which leads to…

7. THE CONSTANT MEWING. Zephyrelli has sleeping radars! If anyone is in the bedroom talking, he doesn’t seem to mind. BUT if anyone is in bed sleeping or whispering softly (saying goodnight, talking about our day etc.) Zephyr pushes his head against the door and meows at the top of his lungs. He sounds like he swallowed something awful and it is affecting his voice, but really, it is just his “LET ME IN, LOVE ME NOW!” mew.

8. Strange urinating habits: Our bathroom also has to have a closed door at all times. Zephyr likes to pee down the drain of either the sink or the bathtub, whichever is free. He’s very good about it though. It’s only pee, and he makes sure he scratches it all down the drain when he is finished. Also in the bathroom is the toilet, which he drinks profusely from. His bowl is always full and yet the tasty toilet water is what suits his fancy.

Also in the department of strange urinating habits is anything in bucket form. Like my boyfriend’s lunch bag for work. Zephyr has decided this is a much better place to pee than his litter box.

Go directly to my litterbox. Do not pass the fridge. Do not collect 200 dollars. Unless you want to get me a scrap of ham. In that case, leave it under the foot of a bed by 1 am sharp.

What makes Zoe so mean?

Zoe was an orphan who wandered onto our front porch, infested with parasites and half-starved. We have no idea how long she was on her own, but the vet said that she was very anemic and would have died if we hadn’t saved her. We named her Zoe because she is a survivor like Zoe in Firefly, and because she has black stripes around her neck like Zoe’s necklace.

She doesn’t trust anyone in the house except my 12yo daughter, who is her “mommy.” Zoe loves her with all her little black kitty heart, but the rest of us can just go straight to he…r litterbox. But she is not above taunting us with her cuteness, laying out of arm’s reach and looking adorable, wriggling on her back as if she wants to be petted. And when we reach for her ZING! she bolts away, chortling, “You will not have me, ugly two-legged troglodytes!”

Her kitty superpower is invisibility. No guest to our home has ever seen her. Most of the time, we don’t even see her. Just kitty footprints on top of the stove, or the sound of desperate scratching as she tries to cover yet another of Kaylee’s endless poos. Kaylee is a more recent addition to the family. They get along well enough, but Kaylee eats everything in sight, spurring Zoe to employ her finely-honed scavenging skills from her earlier life. That, and her invisibility, means that bits of ham and bread crusts often disappear from our plates, right under our noses.

Meankitties Zoe and Kaylee can disrupt a camera’s focus…with their BRAINS!

Zoe’s motto is semper pro mater – “Always for mother.” She decloaks at the foot of my daughter’s bed every night, and I sometimes find her being clutched like a teddy bear at 2am. It is the only time I am able to touch her, when she is safe in her mother’s arms.

About Us

Meankitty's been online since 1999 or thereabouts. Srsly.

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How can a cat be online? Typing Slave, aka Jody Wallace, maintains the website for Meankitty, who sadly lacks opposable thumbs.