Welcome to the BlackLOG, this is the story of me, my wife - the long suffering "Mrs B", our cat "McG" and the various friends and acquaintances that we meet through life. It is all based around what happens to us, but is often stretched in an attempt to entertain. I do not deliberately set out to upset people but it occasionally happens (I have a fairly dark sense of humour at times).

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Sunday, 24 March 2013

How to fail to make it into a Hollywood film....Plus a 4th concert Photo pass

Paloma Faith – (Cambridge Corn Exchange)

When I booked the tickets Mrs B was not due to have surgery just a few days before, however, having missed out on Paloma’s set at Somerset House in 2012 (being in Hong Kong with work at the time) she was determined to attend this one. Unfortunately it was standing and not seated and so I valiantly gave free reign to Mrs B to stand where she wanted…..She chose a spot at the back and within a short while a group of tall people came along and stood in front of us….I was struggling for a view so Mrs B can’t have seen anything at all. I could tell she was not 100% as she was not in the mood for moving. The show was good although the sound quality was not a patch on the Somerset House gig and I only had the Mini Mega Beast with me. There was definitely a party atmosphere though as it was the last night of Paloma’s Tour.

Pictures with Mega Mini Beast

"Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?"

Can't I have a bit of both?

"My Legs Are Weak"

﻿Al Lewis - (St Pancras Old Church)

My 4th Official photo pass and thanks to the generosity of FK, Al’s Manager, I was given free reign at a rather charming venue “St Pancras Old Church”.

Being such a small venue it was interesting to see a different approach on the door with attendees being ticked off a list rather than having to produce tickets, giving everyone the feeling that they were on the guest list.

The support was the lovely Lottie Mullens – I was chatting to her after her set when FK piped in:

FK - “Careful he’s a stalker”

Lotte laughed.

While I said “Thanks FK, I’ve been called a lot of things but never a stalker”

FK -“No not you ”

Lottie - “That’s good to know”

He was talking about the odd guy who had been trying to get Lotte’s phone number just as I arrived

Lotte did a blog diary a few years back about the problems faced by females trying to make it in the music business. The rights of which have been purchased by Hollywood so it might be making its way to a big screen near you soon…..

Extract from Lottie’s diary

THE SIDE-BOOB HUGApparently Madonna never hugs anyone – it’s a firm handshake or nothing. Unfortunately when you’re an aspiring nobody you have to be a bit more compliant otherwise people think you’re just cold. There’s a bizarre over-familiarity in this business – I wouldn’t hug or kiss my bank manager. It all seems to be part of the 'we’re friends therefore we do business' culture – designed to lure you into a false sense of security.I’ve often tried to be business-like and go in for the handshake but guys nearly always disregard it and pull me in for an awkward sweaty hug. The new breed of pervy hugger seems to have sussed that this is a potential groping opportunity and that if he (it’s always a he) extends both hands towards your armpits he’s likely to get a fingerful of breast. Prime suspects are middle aged record label executives chancing their luck, or the lone fan that turns up to the gig two hours early hoping to catch you at sound check and ‘hang out’ for three hours while you wait to go onstage. They know where you are – MySpace and Facebook have told them.

Unfortunately fortunately I won’t be appearing in the film as I didn’t attempt to hug, kiss or molest Lotte in anyway.

Mrs B, having been to Paloma Faith the night before, was excused and given the evening off, so I invited along my Italian friend Elena. She took her role as Mrs B’s substitute surprisingly seriously to the point where she only just made it for Al’s set. Having gone the wrong way when she left St Pancras Station and taking a very long route to the venue….I’ve always enjoyed the challenge of driving through London. So far I have avoided paying the congestion charge and on all but a very few occasions have found free parking close by. It pays to research the internet before setting off for a new venue and checking the local parking signs when you arrive, even at venues you know fairly well. It is not beyond the specialist skills of local councils to change parking rules between visits. I’m convinced that this is an underhand attempt to increase revenue…. As it was I found free parking about 30 meters from the venue, which proved of great relief to Elena, who was worried that she would face a second long walk of the evening.

Remaing pictures with The Beast

St Pancras Old Church

If your names not on the list you are not getting in....

Lottie Mullans

"Can't Find The Words"

Al Lewis

"Battles"

"The Truth In Growing Old"

You get inconvenient hair inall the wrong places....

Kaiser Chiefs - (O2 Academy Brixton)
I got it wrong again – it was the anniversary of Mrs B failing to make it to see Kylie – who happened to be playing at a venue only about 25 minutes from her desk. When I booked the tickets for the Kaiser Chiefs I forgot that it was Mrs B’s ‘even busier than normal’ busy week. Despite it being half way across London Mrs B made it in time for the encore…..I had a much better time of it, being able to use my O2 mobile account to skip to the front of the rather lengthy queue. As a bonus I even managed to sneak in The Beast….

"My Place is Here"

"Never Miss a Beat"

"People Need Light"

AmDram

Through work I went to a one act play followed by a magic act and musical interlude. Unfortunately copyright meant I was not allowed to take any pictures of the play – apparently you are allowed to take pictures during rehearsals but there is a rather hefty fee involved for taking pictures during production, even at an amateur level….

The play started off rather promisingly with the first three characters being more than competent. In fact the lady playing the character of a cleaner was brilliant. It had the effect of making the remaining actors look worse than they probably were…..Think Helen Mirren or Meryl Streep turning up at your local kindergarten’s Nativity play as the third, surprisingly large, sheep whose every movement had you convinced that it was only a matter of time before it ended up at a local restaurant served with two veg and some mint jelly….

The magic show was marvellous, with money from the audience magically disappearing (No I don’t mean the entrance fee) and then then magically re-appearing from inside a lemon. If only the magician had used an onion I’m sure he could have reduced the transfixed audience to tears…..If you like a magician with balls, this was the show for you, hundreds of them spilling out all over the stage floor…..and then, with the untimely drop of a stage prop flap, the illusion was shattered as the secret of the ‘sawing a woman in half’ trick was laid bare in the best traditions of Tommy Cooper. Unlike the great man himself our magician didn’t die on stage (Sorry Tommy, harsh but fair) but rose above his misfortune and laughed in the face of adversity…. I’m afraid to say The Beast and I were laughing too hard to capture the moment for posterity.

The musical interlude….Sorry Diana you were correct we should have left after the magic show but then I would not have got to sit next to one of the actresses and keep a straight face when I asked why she was not singing in the show.

Her response, “I can’t really sing”

It took all of my will power to stop myself saying “It’s a shame that line of thinking didn’t stop you when it came to the acting”. But hey who am I to judge? My acting makes Sylvester Stallone look like an Oscar contender.
﻿

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When life gives you lemons sod making lemenade Pull money out of them.....

Sorry for the extended break - sometimes life gets in the way and I find it difficult to find the time to put the BlackLOG together...hope to catch you next time