It's an ongoing quest.

November 23, 2015November 23, 2015

11/23/15

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Today went by well. I woke up really early. I was supposed to meet up with a very cute girl here in downtown Chicago to do a photoshoot, but she cancelled. She sent me a text in the middle of the night saying she had family issues so she couldn’t make it. I understood. I just told her … ahhhhh ! I thought I would end this writing with saying that mom didn’t … let’s just call it nagging. It’s not exactly nagging, but it is very similar. No guy likes to be nagged. She doesn’t nag me per say, but constant bitching and moaning and being unhappy about something is very very similar. This time she just went on a stupid and unnecessary rant about the neighbor downstairs who did nothing, basically. All she did was introduce herself to me when I was coming in and she told me she shoveled some ice from somewhere. My mom ranted and got angry for some reason saying that the lady needs to mind her business. Anyways, back to what I was saying.

So I just told the girl that it was no worries and that I hope things go well. I woke up early and went to downtown Chicago, anyways. I roamed the city and took a lot of photos. I was out for a few hours. I could have stayed longer, I suppose, but I don’t want to bail out on my mom in case she wants to spend some time with me or something. But at the same time, I think it’s OK because we’re doing nothing here, anyways. I may go back out. She’s not the explore type. The fact that I’m up and about and finding minor places to go is amazing to her. I feel like I am extremely lacking, and I will amp things up tomorrow. I’m going to go to the zoo. I can’t exactly stay out late. It’s my first time back here in two years or so. I would feel disrespectful if I stayed out all day and night while I am here visiting family, supposedly. Next time I come here, I am staying in a hotel and I will live a little more.

Is it bad that my mind is on these things already? Is it selfish? I think I am balancing things the right way. Good thing I came back home after a few hours because my sister is coming to visit and I could talk to her more.

The location I hung around at was gorgeous. It would be perfect to have someone photoshoot there and now I am so determined to do so. I didn’t have the courage or I didn’t quite see any opportunity for me to meet a new girl on the spot and have her model. I’ll find my girl before I leave.