credits

released 30 April 2013

Produced by Will Yip
Recorded/Engineered by Will Yip at Studio 4 Recording, Conshohocken, Pa - December 2012
Mixed by Vince Ratti
Mastered by Will Yip at Studio 4 Recording
Studio Assistant - Jay Preston
Additional Percussion by Will Yip
Strings by Shelly Weiss

contact / help

I left my head at home,
Buried in the backyard with the dog.
I've thought of leaving more times than once.
I'm leaving you all alone.
I tried so hard to be the rock,
But all I felt like was a wet sponge.

I want to run, I just can't.
The things it takes to be a man.

I'm on a road.
I'm not proud of the things I have done.
Don't let my living bring you down.
You'll never know how much it hurts to nod when I'm the son.
I'll never stand and watch you drown.

I'm under a spell.
This isn't what I want for us.
We've held it all together this long.
My spines deep as well.
My heart is bigger than you know.
This family is just a sad song.

I want to run, I just can't.
The things it takes to be a man.

I'm on a road.
I'm not proud of the things I have done.
Don't let my living bring you down.
You'll never know how much it hurts to nod when I'm the son.
I'll never stand and watch you drown.

Track Name: Life In A Jar

I live in harmony with worms,
underneath the dirt and the soil.
My home away from noise.

I want wake up there.
I wish they'd make a grave.

The guilt I feel for this.
I'm clean, but my world's a mess.
I wait, I wait for it.
Your ghost, I wish it haunted me.
These last few months I felt a lack of love.
I felt the weight drop down on us.

I want wake up there.
I wish they'd make a grave.
I wish you knew I cared.
It hurts to say your name.

Track Name: Outside Of Me

Outside of me there's no one there.
There was never a chance that you could care.
I'm seeing visions in my dreams.
Of all the things you think I'll be.

That's the thing it means everything to me.
But I can't bring myself to be that way just yet.

It's been a long time between us,
And I always know it's what you want.
I'm opening up to let you down.
I'm sorry, I can't be that right now.

Forgive me, I just wanted to feel free.
Sometimes I feel I might have made your life a mess.
That's the thing it means everything to me.
I can't bring myself to be that way just yet.

Outside of me there's no one there.
Never a chance that you could care.

Track Name: Sheltered

All across the universe, for all of us to see.
There's no room for both of us.
Part ways at sea.

I grew up in the woods with nobody's help.
Build my own fort in the trees to keep to myself.

I want to be erased from life if you're still there

All across the universe, for all of us to see.
There's no room for both of us.
Part ways at sea.

I would wait for you to come.
A puppet, you see.
Lose my eyes under your couch.
I can see, but I can't hear.

I want to be erased from life if you're still there.
It hurts me to know how small I really am.

Walked on.
Taking advantage of my love.
You only care about yourself.
Have you ever thought about how I feel?
So used and worn down.

Drain. Drain my head.
I don't want to feel anymore.

Silently choking on my words.

Walked on.
Taking advantage of my love.
You only care about yourself.
Have you ever thought about how I feel?
So used and worn down.

Track Name: Last October

I spent the end of last October crying on your shoulder.
I'll just never win.
We're going through this,
I'm not even there. I'm never there.

My mind, it could use a little peace and quiet.
My soul wouldn't mind a warm place to hide.
My ears are red and sore from always standing in the snow.
My lungs need air. I spent it on all the "thanks yous" and "goodbyes."

My tongue is bleeding red from all the things I can't say.
My hands are clawing at the dirt to dig up anything.
I can't say I didn't wish for this before.
I'm ashamed. I don't deserve to be here anymore.

It's useless. I tried but to no avail,
To tell you how much I know. How much I care.
Come home.

Breathe until your lungs fail.
You can sing till you go deaf.
Everyday that you don't call her,
I can feel it. You're coming down.

I am sick.
I am horrified at everything I hear.
The youngest daughter lost her way.
Everyday repeats itself again.
The cycle of our misery, it drives us all insane.
Please come home.

The poison takes away from us
Now you're sick to death from all the drugs.

Breathe until your lungs fail.
You can sing till you go deaf.
Everyday that you don't call her,
I can feel it. You're coming down.

Track Name: Knew

Tell me all the things that I don't understand.
You wonder why I push away.
You opened up a wound. Taught me to be a man.
Now you're just not listening.

I don't want to be like that.
A spitting image of a man I once knew.
I can't believe I fell for it.
I feel so used.

Tell me all the things that I don't want to hear.
You think that you felt all my pain.
You opened up a wound. You should open up your ears.
Because you're just not listening.

I don't want to be like that.
A spitting image of a man I once knew.
I can't believe I fell for it.
I feel so used.

I don't want to listen.

Track Name: No One's Deserving

Afraid to be myself.
Alone I can't be loved.
I stare through your soul
To find something meaningful.
Something that can't grow old.

I know where you are and why you're there.
It's making it hard to disappear .
I see you in the walls where I sleep.
Your tight grip, it suffocates me.

Picked last. I'm a reject.
At least I was loved when I was a kid.
I'm feeling the distance.
It's so hard to talk when you turn away.
In your home I don't feel safe.

I know where you are and why you're there.
It's making it hard to disappear .
I see you in the walls where I sleep.
Your tight grip, it suffocates me.

No one's deserving to have this feeling.
So overwhelming, to feel this away.

Afraid to be myself.

Track Name: Hole In The Ground

Follow me down, down into a hole in the ground.
I dug it just for you, exactly how you wanted me to.

It's been over a year.
The snow isn't what brought us to tears.
The ambulence came way too late,
And they lied to your face.

I'm calling to see how things are there.
I want you to know how much I care.
I wish I could take away your pain.
I fear I come home to see your grave.

Mother, please dont cry.
I'm states away and begging to die.
I left you all alone.
I'm scared everytime I come home.
We made it through the mess.
The doctor said they're doing the best.
Their best just wasn't enough,
and we cried all through the month.

I'm calling to see how things are there.
I want you to know how much I care.
I wish I could take away your pain.
I fear I come home to see your grave.

Track Name: In On It

Save your breath.
Don't you break your neck.
I'm seeing signs inside my head.
A car crash in the woods.
I'm saving things that I think you'll need.
On and on until you bleed.
Could I be imagining worse things?
Take me for granted and sin.

I'll be in on it.
Feeling all this energy .
Call me up when you feel sick.
I'll be in on it.

I haven't been eating much this week.
Eating's for the strong.
Sleeps for the weak.
Falling in the same routine I see.

I'll be in on it.
Feeling all this energy.
Call me up when you feel sick.
I'll be in on it.

Don't touch me.
I feel hurt when you leave.
Nobody could understand what this does to me.

And I know just what I need,
Autumn leaves and fallen trees.
To feel the cold beneath my feet.

I'll be in on it.
Feeling all this energy.
Call me up when you feel sick.
I'll be in on it.

Track Name: Around The Railing

Hey, I'm sure I've been here before.
I must be in my living room again.
It's a mess but I'm used to this.
I guess my mother came home with her friend.

It's bad enough, I don't need anything.
Least of all, this.

You would cry. I would gladly die.
I would give my life to ease the pain.

It's bad enough, I don't need anything.
Least of all, this.

You are the one who takes and never gives back anything at all,
I want to blame you.
Upstairs, around the railing, you can find me chained to my respect,
I want to blame you now.

I dream of a place where you stayed a child.
I wake up believing it's real.
Dear sister, I wanted to save your life.
You're just as afraid.

You are the one who takes and never gives back anything at all,
I want to blame you.
Upstairs, around the railing, you can find me chained to my respect,
I want to save you now.