Council bans minorities from saying they're not offended by Christmas

Suburbiton Council has called for more government funding and uniformed manpower as it extends its war on seasonal festivities.

"Banning Xmas was just the start," said Dave Trotter, Global Diversity Csar for Suburbiton Council, "now we are extending our zero tolerance task force to target another group: the enablers, the people who say they're not offended by Xmas."