Monday, December 2, 2013

A photo of Scarlett Johansson's Ass...

...will get you web traffic.

I was on Facebook yesterday, don't ask me why. And someone posted the above screen grab from maybe Tweeter or Instamagic or some fucking thing. Which is a picture of a famous celebrity named Scarlett Johansson who a) is a pop singer, or b) a movie star, or c) has a sex tape, or d) stars on Celebrity Rehab.

Or all of these. Or none. I honestly don't know, and I'm too checked out to ask the Googler. I've heard the name. I've seen her on the cover of supermarket tabloids. That's plenty.

I clicked on the photo. Of course I did. Two million years of evolution and survival of the fittest demanded it. Reason is a raisin taped to the head of a 2,000 pound charging, raging bull of primal drives.

So, as I say, I clicked on it. Which brought me to a nice inspiring blog called Go Kaleo, and a post about how women should be proud they have cellulite. Which is cool with me. I'm proud of women who have cellulite. I'm proud of people who talk about personal tragedies on television. I'm proud of dogs who have three legs. I'm proud of everybody.

But digging deeper, I found some research which suggests that most people who clicked on that photo were not really all that interested in cellulite. If you look at the amazing graphic below (click to enlarge), you'll see that by a significant margin, the largest group of people who clicked on the photo were men who wanted to get a better look at Scarlett's Johansson's ass (48% of all clickers).

Following that were women who wanted to get a better look at Scarlett Johansson's ass (33%). This suggests that 81% of clickers just wanted to see that ass a little better. If you add in the 7% who didn't know why they clicked, you've got an astonishing 88% who probably didn't even realize the article was about cellulite. Only 12% of clickers were women who were concerned about cellulite. Not one man (0%) shared their concern.