Badass: The Birth of a Legend: Spine-Crushing Tales of the Most Merciless Gods, Monsters, Heroes, Villains, and Mythical Creatures Ever Envisioned is an over-the top collection of scrotum-obliterating mythological badassitude so head-compactingly awesome that can't possibly hope to be contained by a single subtitle. The second book I've written about badass shit, B:tBotL:SCTotMMGMHVaMCEE (pronounced BOTTLE-scrotum-vee) is a collection of asskicking maniacs from the pages of mythology, folklore, and pop culture so epic in their legendariness that some third-world countries are imminently in danger of forsaking their primitive beliefs and adopting this book as a religious text. It features 40 of my all-time favorite badass heroes, gods, villains and monsters, ranging from Professor Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes' arch-nemesis and a man so totally evil that he used to work as a mathematics teacher, to the Mighty Thor, Norse God of Hammer-Humping Giants in the Mouth with a Meatnormous Magical Warhammer and then Drinking Enough Mead to Drown Japan. It features ten mythological heroes from the website (reader favorites like Zeus and Diomedes), plus 30 brand-new articles, a veritable ass-load of some of the most bitchin' artwork you have ever seen in your life (example: when one artist asked me for clarification as to what I was looking for him to put together, I responded with the following one-sentence email: "Sauron, Skeletor, and Darth Vader fighting a huge army of motherfuckers while a giant volcano erupts in the background."), plus a bunch of sidebars and features about awesome shit like Native American mythological demons and a list of the most badass animal-headed gods to ever bite apart a man's skull.

OH FUCK I almost forgot to mention that I am going on a book tour. That's right, folks, Badass of the Week is going coast-to-coast. Assuming you live somewhere interesting, there's a chance that I am probably coming to some town within a few hundred (thousand) miles of you, so get ready to get your book signed and then have your face rocked off by one of the most ridiculous PowerPoint presentations ever constructed. Right now I'm locked in for readings/signings in Seattle, Portland, Washington DC, Boston, and Orlando (dates/times forthcoming, but it will probably be around the last two weeks of March), with probably more stuff at some point as well. I probably won't even remember putting this webpage together a few weeks from now (I had seriously forgotten that I did an FAQ for BADASS until I found it by accident while putting this page together), so the best way to stay on top of developments there is to do the Facebook or Twitter thing.

The book comes out on the Ides of March - 3/15/2011 - a date which, before being famous for the day that my homedog Julius Caesar got backstabbed by a bunch of toga-clad soon-to-be-dead chumps, was known for being the Roman festival of Mars, the sufficiently-hardcore God of War. So this is fitting/awesome. Though I do mention both Diomedes and (to a lesser extent) Kratos in the book, so hopefully Ares/Mars won't be too bitter that I'm going to be talking a bunch of shit about him on his big special happy day. If you don't want to anger the God of War, I guess you can just pre-order the book now. Or buy it in the store on the 16th. Either option is acceptable.

The book retails for $16.99, but as of the time of this posting Amazon has it listed for $10. It's a little depressing that a year and a half of my life amounts to roughly the same price as two large lattes, but what can you do. It's available online at these fine establishments:

As an FYI for non-North American folks, I'm told that Borders and Amazon.uk have the best overseas shipping prices and availability. If that helps.

Now, please feel free to enjoy some of the insanely badass art you'll find within this ridiculous tome of over-the-top awesomeness. There are 60 illustrations in the 350+ page book, including full-page artwork for each of the 40 badasses featured within. Behold!