Friday, April 29, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Little known fact but by tradition at the after Royal Wedding reception whoever catches the new princesses garter becomes the ambassador to Sweden... I think most Patriot fans were braced for Bill Belichick to trade the pick that ended up being Ryan Mallett to a team that needed a QB but ended up being very happy when the Pats actually took the QB for their own. That happiness was compounded with the realization that the move basically came down to trading a pretty much washed up Randy Moss for Ryan Mallett (the Pats used the pick they got from the Vikings to pick Mallett)... Wow - this is a pretty cool move - Bose Founder Gives Majority of Company to MIT... If the Reds Mike Leake was a normal guy I could see doing the diversion program which will get his record wiped clean as 1st time offender. However, given the fact that I'm doubting that he'd be this stupid again and that nobody is going to forget he stole that T-shirts - the program probably isn't worth the time... In my opinion Roy Firestone getting Rod Tidwell to cry in Jerry Maguire still greater than Suzy Kolber getting Mark Ingram to cry at the end of the first day of the NFL Draft... The only question I have regarding the Royal Wedding is whether Richard Petty invoked his right of prima nocta.

One piece of Royal Wedding trivia jumped out at me this morning. As part of the ceremony the Queen invested her grandson as Baron Carrickfergus. That of course made me think of the the above song. If you listen to the video make sure you stick around for the bonus joke at the end

I haven't seen any of the Royal Wedding but I have caught some of the snark about it on Twitter. I can't help but be reminded of Alexis de Tocqueville who was shocked by how just any guy would be referred to as "Sir" in American society... The conspiracy theorist in me wonders if the NFL made the Vikings take Christian Ponder at 12 to insure nobody would collect that $10 million for having the first round correct... I still think Two and a Half Men should replace Charlie Sheen with Ellen DeGeneres and just pretend nothing happened just like they did with the Darren's in Bewitched... John Elway is a fan of traditional type QB's so I have to wonder if the Jaguars took Blaine Gabbert because a deal is in place to trade him to the Broncos for Tim Tebow once NFL allows player trades... Derek Lowe was arrested for DUI last night... If you played the Jon Gruden "This Guy" drinking game - you would have been hammered before Jacksonville picked Gabbert. He must have had between 75 and 100 "This Guys" last night... ABC should re-make the TV show Barney Miller with Dave Attell playing the lead role and with Abe Vigoda reprising his role as Fish... Kansas City should have a Royals Weddings promotion for rest of season. Renting out the boxes/suites next to dugouts has to be about the same price as renting a hall. Allow a 15 minute ceremony on the field before the game. This would be a winner if the PR person in charge had thought ahead... In my mind I pictured Jeff Fisher watching the NFL Draft at home with beer shooting through his nose learning of the Jake Locker to the Titans pick... Knock knock. Who's there? Control freak. Now, this is the point where you say "Control freak who?"... I think the Cleveland Browns really got the best of that trade that landed the Falcons Julio Jones. The Falcons gave up the 27th, 59th, and 124th 2011 picks plus a 2012 1st and a 2012 4th round pick for a WR with health questions... I know my ass from my elbow but I honestly couldn’t tell you the difference between a castle and a keep... I think one thing that really could have helped the NFL Draft last night would have been ESPN getting comments from a guy dressed as a giant Mr. Potato-head and pretending to be Mike Holmgren... Back in 1978 Robin Yount held out from Spring training because he needed to decide if he wanted to be a pro baseball player or a pro golfer... Over / under for Cam Newton interceptions next season has to be around 20 - right?... Sick bastard... There should be a word to describe the act of drinking the milk straight from the bowl after you have eaten the cereal... As a symbolic gesture - whatever NFL team wins the Super Bowl this year should vote Judge Nelson a full playoff share... Bobcat on a Saguaro!... The things you learn on the Internet (via Mental Floss): "The wife of Atlanta Hawks GM Pat Williams had a baby on draft day in 1974. To celebrate, Williams drafted his son in the 10th round."

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

People who can't believe President Obama's birth certificate also can't believe Parkay is not butter... Sad news - Alice Ward, mother of Micky Ward and Dicky Eklund, has died... The Most Interesting Man in the World's catchphrase is "Stay thirsty my friend"? Is that code asking me to actually drink Diet Coke? Because Diet Coke is the only drink I can think of that still leaves you thirsty after drinking it... Victorian Star Trek... Appointing General David Petraeus to the CIA is a good move on many levels. For President Obama it puts a potential severe critic into a position where Petraeus' public comments will be limited. For America it removes a politician with no experience and replaces him with a man who understands firsthand that leaked secrets can get soldiers killed. The bottom line is that it is a good move for America... At some point the Red Sox have to consider Jed Lowrie as an outfield replacement for JD Drew next season. Lowrie's not that good a shortstop but his offensive numbers could be very similar to Drew's... Very interesting story of a neurologist trying to finish his last paper - on the disease that's killing him!... Dustin Pedroia better win the AL Gold Glove at 2nd this year... According to Moe Lane - Barack Obama has a 116 IQ

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Just saying but Richard Nixon saying "I am not a crook" became a punchline - so too will Jim Tressel saying "I am not a cheat"... A chart of which voice actor does which character on The Simpsons... The things you learn on the Internet (via Mental Floss): "In 1970, Portland fans voted to name their new NBA team the Pioneers. Since a local college was using that name, Trail Blazers was selected"... What marshmallow peeps do the other 364 days a year... I'm pretty sure that the girls on either side of the Most Interesting Man in the World in the Dos Equis beer commercials don't speak English (not that it really matters)... Fan offers Cam Newton $1 million to take lie detector test... Piers Morgan is reportedly down to just 265,000 viewers. I'm pretty sure that re-runs of Larry King could beat that... It has been 25 years to the day that the accident happened at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant causing the worst nuclear disaster in history...

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Pretty Funny Joke

Donald Rumsfeld and President Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had President Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Michele will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The Kraken sounds more like a hangover with the shits than a black spiced rum. I feel awful this morning - I have THE KRAKEN!... The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Red Sox edition: the good - Red Sox starters have a 1.17 ERA over the last 7 games; the bad - the Red Sox are hitting just .232 as a team this season; the ugly - the Red Sox catching situation... Strangest starting pitcher stat line I've ever seen - Miguel Batista 0.0 IP 0 H 0 R 1 BB 0 K then pulled after rain delay... Not that there's anything wrong with that but Charlie Manlove has to be gayest name in baseball history and he was a catcher!!... Since being traded to Red Sox Josh Beckett has 4.22 ERA. Meanwhile in that same period Anibal Sanchez has a 3.73 ERA for Marlins. Just saying... It is easy to forget but Omar Vizquel is only 193 hits away from 3,000 for his career... Andre Ethier very quietly has put together a 19 game hitting streak... How bad did the Celtics lay the beatdown on the Knicks last night? Right after the game "Massacre Square Garden" started trending on Twitter... The Angels have a give-away of Angels logo wrestling masks on May 10th to set record of people wearing wrestling masks in one place. Then on May 11th another record will be set - the number of local gas stations robbed by people wearing wrestling masks... If life gives you melons - you may be dyslexic... Do you think Theo Epstein would still be interested in a Jed Lowrie for Chris Iannetta trade?... St Augustine did something very bad when young and his guilt turned him to Christianity. Wonder if what he did was worse than Kirk Cameron doing Growing Pains?... BREAKING: NFL scout's say FSU's QB Christian Ponder could be second coming of Ken Dorsey... I was amused by this.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Things would have been much better for baseball if it was the author Frank McCourt of Angela's Ashes fame who bought the Los Angeles Dodgers instead of the Frank McCourt who actually did. I know that the author has now passed away but admit it many people still think it's that Frank McCourt anyway... Did you know that the first pro baseball player was Lipman Pike and that he was also first pro Jewish player? You can look it up... Robert Redford was in a movie called Havana and it wasn't half bad - Sean Connery was in a movie called Cuba that wasn't half good... Deposition suggests Cubs threw 1918 Series. For anyone with half a brain this really isn't news. It is silly to think that the 1919 Black Sox came out of nowhere and that baseball fixing didn't exist prior to that... Speaking of forgotten history - the Hitler Cup... Did you know that Gene Hackman was the original choice of show's producers to play Mr. Brady on The Brady Bunch but the studio insisted on Robert Reed?... Very cool indeed. San Francisco now features the world's coolest garage door... On this date in 1864 the U.S. Congress passed the Coinage Act which mandated that the inscription "In God We Trust" be placed on all coins minted as US currency. Part of the reasoning behind this was because the US Constitution does not talk about God while the Confederate constitution did. This was a measure in part to show that the Union wanted God on their side... This is SPARTA!... Happy 52nd birthday to Red Sox manager Terry Francona. I hope the team gets you a win for your birthday... I find Brian Wilson and his bread shtick tedious. I also don't think he's that great a closer but I admit that this was pretty cool... Hard to imagine but it's been seven years since Pat Tillman was killed in action.

This week some journalist will drive the Boston Marathon route from Hopkington to Boston and they will not be able to beat Kenyan racer Geoffry Mutai's time. That will make a nice story for out of towners but locals know that's just the way the traffic works... President George W. Bush to host 100 km bike ride with wounded Iraq and Afghanistan veterans... The only excuse I can think of for Mike Leake was if he was rookie hazed into stealing ala Animal House Food King run... I saw that Gary Glitter was trending on Twitter and I really hoped it was because he was dead... This Jim Thome video promotional video for the Twins is awesome... There should be a word for when a guy wades into the ocean and the waves break over his groin and he finally feels OK to dive in. We all know that feeling but there is no word for it... Some of these ideas are pretty nifty... I agree that the trip on the screen by Garnett was the key to Ray Allen hitting game winning 3-pointer. As a Celtics fan though you felt they were going to win no matter what. Even if they lost you had the feeling they would still win the series. I imagine that Knick fans were feeling just the opposite. I also have to think Knick fans are thinking, "We traded away half the team for that?"... These were pretty amusing... Next week is bad for me. Jonas Brothers are in town.

Dr. Melik: This morning for breakfast he requested something called "wheat germ, organic honey and tiger's milk." Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties. Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or... hot fudge? Dr. Aragon: Those were thought to be unhealthy... precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true. Dr. Melik: Incredible.

You can watch the lecture here. I fully recommend both the book and the lecture. If you don't have the time to read the book then the lecture will give you a good flavor of the incredible hardships and the immeasurable impact Magellan's fleet had on the history of the world.

The book is a fascinating account of the Portuguese Magellan who ended up leading a fleet of five ships for the King of Spain in an expedition around the world to the elusive Spice Islands. Magellan had to suppress violent mutinies and navigate vast unknown lengths of the world. It is a heroic tale of a three-year odyssey. For a understanding of how truly incredible Magellan's feat was consider that his circumnavigation of the world was not duplicated for another 58 years until the equally heroic Sir Francis Drake was able to equal the feat.

I am going to try and do one of these book reports each Sunday. Please note that they really aren't for you the reader but more for me the diarist. I see it as a way of noting what I thought or learned from a book at the time of reading.

Also please note that I have updated the books at the top of the blog. Originally I was posting books that I have read up there. I have changed that to books that I have on my Amazon Wish List. Please feel free to purchase one of those books for me if you feel I've provided you with some worthwhile entertainment here on this little corner of the Internet.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Troy Tulowitzki didn't have a HR yesterday? What gives? Was he hurt? (Does Blogger have a sarcasm font?)... I can't help but wonder how often Mark Cuban thinks about letting Steve Nash leave as free agent back in 2004. He must regret the move. I think the Mavericks would have an NBA title by now if Cuban had kept the Dirk Nowitzki / Steve Nash dynamic duo intact. I wonder if in his heart of hearts Cuban thinks the same thing... How bad is it for the Red Sox? Jarrod Saltalamacchia has an OPS+ of 11 - think about that for a second... Regarding the FBI closing down the online poker Big 3 sites I can't help but think of the following quote: “The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly” - Abraham Lincoln. Hopefully this will be the catalyst to finally get a bad law off the books. Poker is part of the American fabric - part of our very soul. It is a travesty that it should be illegal... Is it too early to ask if A-Rod can hit .400 for the season? (Really a sarcasm font would be so helpful.)... You think of Steve Nash as assist guy but he's also just 72 points from passing Pistol Pete Maravich on all-time scoring list... If Alexander Hamilton was alive today - would he be a Mets fan or a Yankees fan?... "Too Big to Fail" would be a good title for an Andre the Giant biography... Carl Crawford's OPS+ is -4. Yup - Crawford in negative numbers. That means the Red Sox would have been better off not having him swing at all like a scared little league player. I'm sure he'll break out of his funk but damn it's been ugly so far...

I agree that if you asked pretty much anyone who ever got their hand caught in the cookie jar - they most likely would say it wasn't worth it. However, I can't help but remember that Barry Bonds made $135 million AFTER he started juicing. Was that $135 million worth it?

Consider that Barry Bonds was picked with the 6th pick of the first round of the 1985 MLB Draft. The following players went before him BJ Surhoff ($20 million in earnings after 1998), Will Clark ($10.9 million but out of baseball after 2000), Canton Mass's Bobby Witt ($2.1 million and out of baseball after 2001), Barry Larkin ($38.5 million) and Kurt Brown a catcher drafted by the White Sox who never played a game in the big leagues. That means that if you accept that Barry Bonds started juicing after 1998 then he made almost double the money of all the guys drafted ahead of him combined from that point forward. Combined.

Was that worth it becomes a different question altogether. The question then becomes more akin to "Would you spend a year in jail for millions of dollars?" How would you answer that question?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

You can't have good without evil yet Christianity has official blessings but no official curses. I think that may be a missing ingredient... People remember Jean Van de Velde's meltdown at 1999 British Open but can you recall who won it? Likewise I think people will remember 2011 Masters more for Rory McIlroy's final round meltdown than for Charl Schartzel winning... The fastest marathon humanly possible may be only 76 seconds faster than the current record... After seeing the ESPN special on Tom Brady and the 2000 NFL Draft - I am amazed that some 49ers fan hasn't created a fake Gio Carmazzi Twitter account yet. I think that would be classic. The fake Carmozzi can tweet about what his goats are doing while Brady is throwing touchdowns... Quote for the day: "The message leaps from heart to heart by way of the brain, and where the brain is unpersuaded the message cannot pass." - Joseph Campbell... I listened to Bill Simmons podcast with Norm McDonald. I found it interesting that High Stakes Poker was not mentioned even once. It was mildly interesting but that interest was offset by it being just an ESPN/Disney pimpfest (Norm's new show is on Comedy Central a member of Team Disney)... Every time I see that Water for Elephants commercial I think, "Hey Cedric Diggory lives!" I then wonder if the jealous husband is really Voldemorte... Bible thought for the day: Do you think Eve fed Adam the apple so he would know that it was wrong to have sex with the animals of the Garden of Eden?... With Rory McIlroy being from Northern Ireland - I was disappointed that I didn't see any Sunday, Bloody Sunday U2 references made regarding his dismal final round at The Masters. "This is not a rebel song. And this is not a song about Rory McIlroy's final round at the Masters. This is Sunday, Bloody Sunday"... This is pretty cool. It would be awesome if the Navy could put these on the heads of freakin sharks... By the way Paul Lawrie won the 1999 British Open.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

Glad to see ex Red Sox pitcher Justin Masterson off to a hot start for the Indians. Masterson is now 2-0 with a 1.35 ERA to start the season. Masterson is one of the nicest guys in baseball... Cool story. Rory McIlroy and the Augusta Entourage house... Happy 75th birthday to NFL icon John Madden... Chase who? The top 5 hitters in the Phillies batting order are all hitting better than .333 to start the season... He lives! Abe Vigoda is still alive! Long live the Vigoda... There is a slight chance that Johnny Damon gets to 3,000 hits and election to Hall of Fame while Manny Ramirez gets to be on outside looking in. Who could have guessed that? Damon is now tied in 72nd place on the all-time hits list with 2,574 along with retired Richie Ashburn and retired Manny Ramirez. Damon needs 9 more hits to tie Ernie Banks... RIP to Sidney Lumet one of the all-time great directors. Strange Lumet tidbit - he wanted to direct Death Wish (1974) with Jack Lemmon in the leading role. That would have been a completely different movie... VAN GUNDY!!!!!... The Skeleton in the Closet. You know this became a story just because people wanted to make gay Geiko caveman jokes... Strange Sidney Lumet tidbit 2 - the Lefty Lumet was once father in law to Righty humorist PJ O'Rourke... Happy 29th birthday to Dodgers all-star outfielder Andre Ethier... I think one of the effects Twitter will have on the English language will be the almost elimination of the word "the" and most articles in the grammar sense... I may be alone in this but my favorite Sidney Lumet film was Murder on the Orient Express...

Saturday, April 09, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

My thoughts on Manny Ramirez "retiring"? Manny made over $200 million in his career. Owners and general managers were happy to pay him even though many must have had suspicions. Now he gets to enjoy that money but he doesn't get a spot in the Hall of Fame... Just saying but if Tiger wins the Masters he is sooo getting laid Sunday night... Well played, Dewey Decimal system... If Freddy Couples wins this year's Masters at age 51 - is that a bigger deal than Jack Nicklaus winning at age 46?... The situation with Manny Ramirez just makes me sad for guys like Fred McGriff. I think he's one of the real victims of steroid abusers. Yes I don't know for sure that the Crime Dog wasn't also injecting but I'm pretty damn sure he wasn't... Am I the only one who reads the NFL headlines about Judge Nelson and thinks the story will somehow be about Judd Nelson and a Breakfast Club sequel?... Not right now. Batman is busy!... I haven't seen the Rebecca Black Friday video nor the 2 Girls 1 cup video and God willing I never will... Have you seen that Viagra commercial where the guy has a classic car with an overheating radiator? He fixes the problem by just pouring in some bottled water. In real life wouldn't steam have blow up in his face or the radiator cap have burned his hand at the very least?... This was silly but it makes me smile every time...

OMG! The Red Sox have lost their first six games! I blame myself. This is all my fault. In my hubris I started a Magic Number countdown before the first game was even played. Announcing your plans is a great way to make God laugh.

Of course I'm kidding about being worried about the Red Sox. I'll leave that to the national media and jackasses like Dan Shaughnessy who is probably already hard at work on his new book The Curse of Jason Bay.

I saw a few people make this analogy the other day but if you compared where we are in the baseball season to where you would be in an NFL season - the Red Sox are at the NFL equivalent of halftime of the first game of the season. Would people be panicking if the Patriots were losing 7-3 at half of the first game?

Speaking of Jason Bay - I recently looked at the trade that brought Bay to the Red Sox and I think that may end up being Theo Epstein's masterpiece. Bay came to the Red Sox as part of a 3-team trade with the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Los Angeles Dodgers who sent Bryan Morris (minors) and Andy LaRoche to the Pirates while the Red Sox sent Manny Ramirez to the Los Angeles Dodgers plus Craig Hansen and Brandon Moss to the Pittsburgh Pirates.

The Red Sox got a season and a half of Top 10 MVP caliber play out of Bay and in exchange they gave up Craig Hansen (who is now out of baseball), Brandon Moss (who would have no place in the Red Sox organization) and Manny Ramirez. During Bay's season and a half with the Red Sox he hit 45 HR and had 156 RBI. During that same period Manny had 36 HR and 116 RBI. Clear win for Team Theo.

Not only that but by letting Jason Bay walk as a free agent the Red Sox ending up getting pitching prospect Anthony Ranaudo as compensation for losing Bay to the Mets. Ranaudo may turn out to be a bust but some scouts have his upside comparable as Chris Carpenter.

So the national media may expect Red Sox fans to be wearing sack cloth and ashes but excuse me if I pass on that.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Flotsam and Jetsam

Miscellaneous thoughts and observations.

It will be interesting to see who posts better offensive numbers as a C/1B this season - Mike Napoli or Victor Martinez... Sad to say but I think if 100 Americans were asked where the Island of Libya is located on the globe at least half wouldn't argue with you about Libya not actually being an island... The things you learn from the Internet: Sobering statistics for the day - Causes of death worldwide in March 2011 - Starvation 3,000,000; Malaria 250,000; Car Crash 100,000; Earth Quakes and Tsunamis less than 28,000... Who knew? I always assumed Bon Scott was the original lead singer for AC/DC but that honor actually goes to a guy named Dave Evans. He was replaced by Scott after a year... You don't see the media going out of their way to interview Cindy Sheehan now that Bush is out of office. If I was Fox News I would have her on to see what her thoughts are on Libya and if she thinks her pain and suffering were used for political purposes. My guess is that it would take very little to get her to call President Obama a "chickenhawk"... If Clifford the Big Red Dog got so big because of Emily Elizabeth's love - does that mean Chihuahua's are so small because of racist hate?... April 4 is an important day in computer history. On that day in 1975 Microsoft was founded by Bill Gates and Paul Allen and 19 years later in 1994 Marc Andreessen and Jim Clark founded Netscape. The creation of the Internet browser will go down in history as one of the more important developments in technology. Michael Lewis included the story of the founding of Netscape in his overlooked book The New New Thing: A Silicon Valley Story