Thursday, 17 July 2008

Imagine the scene.A woman has spent all day entertaining, feeding, cleaning and tidying up after her children. She is exhausted. Her husband walks in after a day in the office and she says "Am I glad to see you, I'm so tired. They've been really hard work today."He says "Well why don't you get a job?"What he is doing is trying to fix the problem. What she wanted was a little bit of support and understanding.Imagine the scene.A man has had a tough day in the office. A promotion that he was sure would be his, has gone to someone else. He arrives home in contemplative mood and isn't very talkative. His wife says "Did you have a good day darling.""OK." he says with a sigh."Are you sure?" she says "You seem down.""I'm fine." he says as he walks away from her upstairs.She follows him "Is there anything I can do?""I'm fine." he replies with more than a note of irritation.What she is trying to do is empathise because, correctly, she has sensed that her husband has something troubling him. What he wanted was a bit of time and space to come to terms with what happened during the day, on his own.