June 27, 2008

I will be attending a bridal shower tomorrow for an arranged marriage between two Muslims, and I wish both of them the very best, lifelong marriage.

So I was thrilled to receive a Google alert this morning about an excellent article in Pakistan Daily about preparing for a Muslim marriage.

For those of us who are not Muslims, it may seem remarkable that Muslim Americans, many or most of whom marry people they've never dated and didn't fall in love with before the wedding, and who don't consider staying marriage a religious requirement, have a lower than average divorce rate of 33%.

Whether you practice Islam or not, the article makes some very good points about preparing for marriage and not just the wedding.

I learned the divorce rate is slightly lower for Muslim Americans, but still a discouraging 33%. The author offers some good advice about preparing to remain in the other two-thirds.

June 1, 2008

On a beautiful summer afternoon like this one, I recall the pleasures of boating. I want to get out on the water. My husband does not.

Am I being cheated? Is there something wrong with my marriage?

Not at all. We promised to love each other "in sickness and in health," not "by boat and by bicycle." Our marriage is just fine.

He's a handy companion, and I love spending time with him. He'll even get in a boat with me from time to time, just because he loves spending time with me. But I have other friends who share and even amplify my delight with boating, and my life is blessed when I remember to spend some time with them, too.

The first time around, I expected a lot of things besides love, and I often felt cheated. Now I Expect Love and find my life much fuller and happier.