Whenever I am asked what inspired me to write my book, How Learning to Say Goodbye Taught Me How to Live, I have to pause before answering. Many factors seemed to have conspired to get me to write this particular story. I have written in the past but usually screenplays or fictional stories. I enjoy writing not just for the creative outlet, but it gave me a chance to live inside my characters in situations removed from my daily experiences. It is almost like I got to travel to wonderful new places whenever I wrote and got to see life through my characters eyes. It was fun, exciting and always fulfilling. I was at a time in my life where I desperately wanted some of that creative fun.

I had just come out of an eight-year cycle of loss, and when I say loss, I am not kidding! During those eight years, I lost my mom, my only aunt, and uncle, my career and income, my New York City home and life, a beloved family mountain home, and appeared very soon my best friend Rob who was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. It was not just that the rug was pulled out from under me, but the whole damn house and everything in it fell on top of my head. It was brutal, but I did my inner homework despite my pain each and every day and eventually found myself on the other side of the void with more than when I entered it. I had finally begun to see the clouds part despite the fact that I still had the loss of my best friend fast approaching.

I knew it was time to start dreaming and creating again. I was constantly hearing my Higher Self (inner voice) saying, you should write. However, every time I would think of a story, I would lose interest very quickly. Nothing seemed to awaken that creative side. I kept trying but to no avail. I began to wonder if I would ever dream and create again. It scared me and frankly hurt as much if not more than all the past losses. Luckily, I noticed my Higher Self had amended her suggestion to include not only you should write, but also you should write about what you havegone through and learned. Now, in all honesty, I did not want to do it. So I ignored her for almost a year. Until one day when the fear of not being able to dream and create combined with the fear of losing my dearest friend was just too much to bear.

I knew I was at a crucial turning point. Either I could do nothing and sit in pain and fear, or I could try what my Higher Self suggests and write about what I had gone through and learned. So I surrendered and decided to see what would come out onto the paper. At first, I just wrote what I thought were short essays, not quite knowing how they would fit together. I was not sure anyone would want to read them, but I kept with it.

However, it was when I began to write about Rob and what she and I were going through in story form that it took on a life of its own. My creative storyteller had awoken at last! It quickly became a journal of not only what was going on, on the outside, but more importantly what was going on, on the inside as we both took this journey together. As I wrote, I began to realize just how much growth I had experienced and found I wanted to share that with others. I also knew Rob’s side of the story was a great mirror for me and would be for others as well. It surprisingly became a triumphant story of self-discovery and self-love rather than a story about loss and death. What at first had sounded like a horrible suggestion became one of the most creative and spiritual fulfilling projects of my life. Next time, I will not wait a year to listen to my Higher Self because I know she always takes me out of my black & white box into full technicolor living.

Until next time be the light the world needs and stay in love for all.

Joffre McClung is the author of two books, How Learning to Say Goodbye Taught Me How to Live ( Kirkus Indie Reviews “Heartfelt reflections on the lessons and strength to be gained from grief and loss….A thoughtful think piece.”) and The Heart of the Matter ( A Workbook and Guide to Finding Your Way Back to Self-Love) due out in spring of 2017.