15 November 2006

A Single Tear Drips off a Prepubescent Moustache

Erielle is in a horrid mood today. She yelled at some students at school this morning, and she didn't yell quietly. The two children (well, one of them has a moustache so it is doubtful whether or not he can be considered a child) were not doing anything intentionally malicious, thus, the remainder of the class is now terrified of their crazy teacher.

Now safely locked in her office, Erielle is disappointed in her irrational anger, which tends to surface randomly and cannot be suppressed. Still fuming, she plans to squelch her lingering fury by checking out the newest German porn sites during her planning time. To hell with the censors on the school computers. Let them come and get her and cart her away.

On second thought, Erielle decides she is not interested in porn sites today, and will instead eat the entire plate of chocolate cherry cookies that she made especially for her students but too bad for them they’re a bunch of jerks and they’re not going to get any.

In the event that the consumption of these cookies does not diminish Erielle’s angst, please list further anxiety-relieving procedures that come to your minds, preferably those that can be followed within the confines of a windowless cube that is engulfed by the cacophony of a seventh grade band that is playing the same song that the seventh grade band has been playing every single goddamnit year for the five years of Erielle’s short-lived career as a mean middle school orchestra director who makes pre-teens cry.

(Events in this dramatization have been modified. Erielle has not made any students cry for at least 1.5 years, and she doesn’t visit German porn sites. She does, however, have students with prepubescent moustaches, and prepubescent moustaches gross her out, so she likes those students less. They don’t get any cookies.)

Chocolate Cherry Cookiesfrom Cooking Light

The cocoa powder gives these cookies a wonderfully strong chocolate flavor, and the dried cherries give each bite a fruity tang. There is not even a full stick of butter in the recipe, and only on egg, but somehow the cookies turn out chewy and moist with a crunchy outside. What more can you want from cookie?

1 cup flour1/3 cup cocoa powder (I used Shaffern-Berger, the good stuff, but if you’re making it for ungrateful middle school students who don’t know how to behave, just use Hershey’s cocoa powder)½ tsp. baking powder¼ tsp. baking soda¼ tsp. salt

In a small bowl, combine the dry ingredients and whisk until combined.

In a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar.Add the egg and the vanilla and mix until blended.

Gradually add the dry ingredients, scraping down the side of the bowl to incorporate all of the batter.

Fold in the chips and the cherries.

Scoop tablespoons of batter onto a greased baking sheet.Bake for 12 minutes, then let cookies sit on baking sheet for an additional 5 minutes. They will not look done when they come out of the oven, but they will continue to cook on the baking sheet.

Annie, the cookies are heavenly, just like you suspected. Unlike moustaches, which are not heavenly.

Jess, aren't they great? I will have to check out the windowpane cookies. Isn't it sad when dried cherries are nowhere to be found? They're at the Co-Op right now, I stocked up.

Aoife, good one. I would have a blast.

Aria, yes, ew. I apologize for the ew. Couldn't help myself. It's always good to get a good laugh in at the expense of a crying pre-teen.As far as german porn interpretive dance in a grizzly bear costume, that's brilliant, and I hope it makes someone one cry.

I found you by way of 101 Cookbooks. You had me in tears! Seriously! As a fellow Chi-town music teacher I can feel your pain. (Even worse than the middle school mustache? The middle schooler with their tongue peirced! Yuck! And it is always the kid who is creepy enough without it.)

Ehem... The cookies look fabu. I will have to try to modify them and make them gluten free. I miss my chocolate covered cherry cookies we made every year. Your recipe would be so much easier to modify and would take FAR less time.

Hi,I heard about your blog from from TAJ but anyway just wanted to say love your blog! I made the brussel sprouts and the cherry chocolate cookies today. The sprouts were heavenly.

However, due to my lack of recipe following skills I unintentionally made the cookies very dietetic by only putting 1/3 cup of sugar instead of a whole cup! I thought I would have to throw away the cookies but they were surprisingly edible. Just wanted to share. I can't wait to make them "right" though. Thanks.