would you go?
late notice birthday bbq

It's DP's mothers birthday today, about 2pm DP msg'ed me saying that she will be having a bbq today but he doesn't know what time and will get back to me.

I msg'ed him back saying that if it is going to be late then we won't be able to come over as its a school night and everyone here is pretty tired. I think DP is a bit disappointed but understands where I am coming from.

I rang him to explain to him that we are all really tired and a bit more in to it, any meal at his place is always served at least 2 hours later than planned, so being invited for dinner at 6 or even 7 which i could potentially get away with won't be served usually til 8.30-9pm! Then time for eating etc means no one here is getting home til at least 10.

Would you go to a bbq in these circumstances? I am sticking with my decision but part of me feels crappy because it is her birthday and no doubt she will whinge at DP for us not coming over.

*note: us not coming over is just the boys and I, DP lives with his mother and of course will be there for dinner with her.

I would go but say you will have to leave early as it is a school night and as the other posters said bring something to eat in case it takes ages! I have a friend like this too..It can be frustrating when you have kids.

we actually live very close, so travelling isn't really a problem (other than i would have to leave my nice aircon'ed house and drive in the hot car ).

However leaving before the time she would accept us leaving is unlikely to happen... she is fondly known as the time vortex as you drop in for 5 min to drop something off and you leave 3 hours later!

I actually do like her, that isn't a problem just in case anyone thinks its a personal thing against her. I just know how late we would get home, the last time we left DS1 was in a meltdown as she likes to be inside his personal space and he can't cope with that when he is tired.

I wouldn't be going...they've known it's going to be her birthday for a whole year and couldn't organised something sooner.. let them know that little kids who need to be in bed at a decent time on a school night restricts you to lunchtime celebrations only.

If she is miffed then she needs to be miffed at her adult son, who is dating a woman with two young children and can't get organised enough to tell her of an event held at his own home, the date of which he would of been aware of his whole life, in advance.

If she is miffed then she needs to be miffed at her adult son, who is dating a woman with two young children and can't get organised enough to tell her of an event held at his own home, the date of which he would of been aware of his whole life, in advance.

Don't feel guilty. This isn't on you.

he isn't organising it... he had no knowledge of this before today although he suspected it would be announced at some point today. she is organising it... at some point...

this is the way that she is i have found, i was trying to go with it but the stress on the boys and I who already live very busy lives was getting to me... i am hoping that if i start refusing to go then she might realise this needs to change... the last two events i said very clearly before we went over that dinner needed to be on time and neither time was food served before 9pm.

Oh ok, read your last post. Yeah, I'd say thanks very much but its not going to work for you. I have rellies who invit us over for 'lunch' at 12.30 and its served at about 3pm. We now feed the kids before we go.

Given your last reply I would probably give it a miss. If I thought I could just go for a short time and still have the chn home at their normal bed time then I would but if you know that just isn't going to happen then save yourself the stress.

he isn't organising it... he had no knowledge of this before today although he suspected it would be announced at some point today. she is organising it... at some point...

this is the way that she is i have found, i was trying to go with it but the stress on the boys and I who already live very busy lives was getting to me... i am hoping that if i start refusing to go then she might realise this needs to change... the last two events i said very clearly before we went over that dinner needed to be on time and neither time was food served before 9pm.

My Inlaws are like that, everything is a last minute rush or idea and dinner is served "whenever".

QUOTE (tibs @ 24/02/2013, 04:13 PM)

I probably wouldn't go but spontaneity isn't my strong point ;)

Same. I wouldn't go. It wouldn't bother me if it werea late night, but I'd need time to mentally prepare for it. Lol I'm really useless without notice.

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

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