Now
that your eviction appears imminent I am sure you will have some regrets
about how you played the game. I'm here to tell you, sir, you should
have NO REGRETS! You played a respectable, honorable game and I am very
proud of you. Never for a minute believe anything less. Sincerely. I
mean that. Without a doubt.

I'm sorry you didn't win more
competitions. On the contrary, I wish you could have stayed to lose
many more.

I'm sorry you were unable to force
Jee to use the Power of Veto by squeezing the life from his little
body.

I'm sorry I picked FBIGUY.COM
instead of JEE-GUY.COM for a URL. (Is it too late to get JEE-GUY.COM?)

But as it is, you're not yet quite
gone. There is still some small tidbit of hope remaining in me as my
FBIGUY.COM world crashes down around me. Sometimes as I lie awake at
night, I wonder:

Are you sure they can't let you
back into the house armed?

Perhaps you could start a spinoff
show or something. (My idea for a TV show: FBI Guy goes mental on
the houseguests with a bullwhip and a taser).

Was it really so unthinkable when
Julie asked you if you wanted to win the veto to just say,
"Hell yes Julie, I want the power of veto. Let those bastards
eat PB & J for the remainder of the show!" YOU COULD HAVE
SAVED YOURSELF! YOU COULD HAVE SAVED FBIGUY.COM FROM RUIN!!
AAHHH! At the very least you could have left a curse on them
for the rest of their days. YOU COULD HAVE SMOTE THEM LIKE THE WRATH
OF GOD! WHY DIDN'T YOU!!? AAHH! AAAHHHHHH!!1

No, Jack. I am not thinking any of
those things. You can, however, let yourself safely believe that:

I am sorry to see you go.

Your kind nature, sense
of humor, and cute fruit-hatted head will be sorely missed.