Sara Sampaio Is My New Favorite Portuguese Person

It used to be Vasco da Gama, because I love pepper and it’s bullshit that before da Gama, you couldn’t get cracked black pepper on your salad at fancy restaurants. But now I’m going with Sara Sampaio because her tits look like perfect globes and she didn’t give syphilis to 80% of the world like da Gama. I’ve worked on photo shoots before and there’s always that awkward moment when you have to ask the model if maybe she could pull her top down to be artistically relevant for a certain look. You’re lying, you just want to snap her boobs. But when she says yes, there’s a weight off everybody’s shoulders because the uncomfortable song and dance need not occur. Also, you’re now officially getting paid to have a boner.