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This marriage amendment is an embarrassment to the state of Minnesota. Many people voted the Republicans in for their financial policies (which I think are stupidly uncompromising in and of themselves, but I'll keep that out of here) and because they were sick of nothing getting done, not their social policies. Although we certainly do have our fair share of social conservatives here now, especially with the considerable number of transplants moving to the Twin Cities suburbs.

@Freaky: As it stands right now, Democrats are more likely to be friendlier to general human rights than their GOP counterparts.

What got you into supporting gay rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?
My personal views of what basic human rights consist of and exactly how far those should extend, as well as highly liberal teachers in elementary school teaching about accepting people for who they are.

@Drew: WHAAAAAAT. That's so weird. :( Reminds me of a member (don't think they're here anymore) that said he was gay, but was gonna marry a woman and have kids. I don't remember his reasons, but I felt so bad and concerned. He shouldn't have to hide who he is to make...whoever he was trying to make happy.

I think it's unfair to endorse Obama until we know who the GOP candidate will be. I say that especially since we have two moderately pro-LGBT candidates running and an openly homosexual man running, as well.

I don't want to turn this thread into a debate, though. I'm just saying that this endorsement is pretty premature.

I think I'll join. I'm not gaymyself, but I have plenty of friends who are, as well as being part of the GSA at school...which is interesting because Notre Dame won't accept it as an actual student organization even though it's applied 15 years in a row.

Hey Toujours, welcome! Have they given an actual reason for not accepting the group? It may not be appropriate given it's a Catholic school (gay-friendly as the school may be, it's not exactly in the official Catholic party line and may be hard to explain to higher-ups?)

Welcome Impo! Well, I think as an asexual you're represented by one of the A's at the end anyway, so you fit :D

OK. Now the official business is over, I can actually get discussing stuff

On the "who chooses to be gay" line, I've actually come across a lot of parents who perpetuate this with their denial. Like, "oh he's just doing this to be rebellious" etc, simply because they can't get their head around the fact that the life they had envisioned for their child will not be the life their child gets. I think the worst thing a parent can do for a child is to want things for them. Let people want for themselves.

On the "who chooses to be gay" line, I've actually come across a lot of parents who perpetuate this with their denial. Like, "oh he's just doing this to be rebellious" etc, simply because they can't get their head around the fact that the life they had envisioned for their child will not be the life their child gets. I think the worst thing a parent can do for a child is to want things for them. Let people want for themselves.

I don't like how some parents won't accept their child's sexual orientation. My mother is always telling me that I can be whoever I want and she'll always love me, which I think is great (I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm gay though, but it's nice to know if I was she wouldn't try to change me).

I'm a closeted asexual, particularly because during my age (school mostly) people will consider you rather... disorientated.

Ah, parents. This has actually given me inspiration for a new topic to introduce.

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Or, if you aren't of a minority sexuality and are posting here as an ally, tell us what it's like on the other side. Has anyone ever come out to you? Were they scared of how you'd react? How did they do it?

On the "who chooses to be gay" line, I've actually come across a lot of parents who perpetuate this with their denial. Like, "oh he's just doing this to be rebellious" etc, simply because they can't get their head around the fact that the life they had envisioned for their child will not be the life their child gets. I think the worst thing a parent can do for a child is to want things for them. Let people want for themselves.

Well that's really one of the biggest fears of anyone really, gay straight or whatever is for your parents not to accept who you are or who you've become. Yea it'll be harder for gay kids because being gay is still a fairly rare thing compared to being straight and there are so many different opinions its near impossible to know exactly how your parents will react to such news.

Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Well i'm not offically 'out' so to speak as there are still a large quantity of people that don't know yet but i did come out to my friends last summer. I only came out to one of my friends first because i thought that we'd got to know each other so well that i felt like I wanted to tell him about me. I was having a conversation with him over facebook through comments on some status, about half way through this conversation I got this urge to tell him. I can't really explain it but it was a bit like an epiphany moment x] So we moved the conversation over to MSN. Here i did this weird build up of making him promise he wouldn't tell anyone until i said he could, so after he swore he wouldn't i finally told him. It kinda killed the whole moment that he didn't read over the message properly and i had to tell him to go and read it again ¬.¬ But after that he went quite and we didn't talk much until we went offline. So unfortunately he wasn't really cool with knowing it and lets just say we don't talk any more.
But in-between all of the drama with the last guy i told i also told another one of my close friends. This time i wanted to see if it was any easier to tell someone in person rather than have that horrible part of silence over IM when the other person is typing. To do this when i met up with him i said i had something to tell him, because he was the really annoying noisy friend i knew he wouldn't let it drop until i told him. So we went the whole day and we met up with one of his friends and by the end he was starting to loose it because i'd still yet to tell him lol. After walking his friend home i thought i'd say it, this was actually a billion times harder than doing it over IM xD i was so nervous when the words came out of my mouth my entire body went tense. My hands went into fists so tight that my finger nails drew blood from my palms. But after that we decided to take the long way back to my bus stop so he could ask questions and such. He actually took it quite well which was a relief. He still finds it funny to take the mick out of me because of it though ¬.¬
And then after that i thought i'd try getting someone else to tell them, so i got the friend who i told in person to tell two of my other friends that i was gay. To be quite honest i found it amusing as usually they don't stop arguing and never shut but after he told them they went completely mute. There ok with it too, so everything worked out fine there.
And then finally i thought i'd tell the rest of my friends via facebook. I posted a status that someone on PC helped me write because my english skills suck xD At first people thought it was a joke and someone facebook raped me but once it finally sunk in i got a few messages saying that they were cool with it, and even better not a single message saying something negative :D about half my friend list did un-friend me over the next few weeks but still, at least they did it discreetly :D

__________________

"I am confident that if anyone actually penetrates our facades, even the most perceptive would still be fundamentally unprepared for the truth of House Dimir."

As an ally of this place, I have known people who are gay, but no one has really come out to me. I'm not exactly the person who is everyone's best friend. I've known people who are gay and stuff, but I haven't had anyone come up to me and tell me that they are gay.

Anyway, this has brought me to thinking. Last year for a project, someone I knew who was in one of my certificate courses made a video for a totally not-related subject. Anyway, he made a mini-movie based on what like would be like if the whole gay/straight thing was reversed. So it was normal to be gay, and considered "weird" to our society today to be straight. I can say it sure was interesting.

Anyway, this has brought me to thinking. Last year for a project, someone I knew who was in one of my certificate courses made a video for a totally not-related subject. Anyway, he made a mini-movie based on what like would be like if the whole gay/straight thing was reversed. So it was normal to be gay, and considered "weird" to our society today to be straight. I can say it sure was interesting.

...That sounds like a blockbuster-movie idea. It does sound interesting, sometimes I wonder why people think it's wrong to be gay. Considering I don't see anything wrong with it and I'm not gay, I don't see any reasons for others to see it as wrong.

I tried to tell my mother about 6 years ago, she literally said "No you're not" and I agreed with her and made like it was a joke or something (so I basically re-closeted myself), a few years later she asks "If you were gay you'd tell me right?" to which I said "Of course! But I'm not so don't worry". When I first hit high school she sent me to an in-school program, that was run by the church which basically shoved gender stereotypes in our face and told us to act and look a certain way.
I did tell a friend of mine a few months ago, he didn't take it well, he has nothing against gay people but he wasnt exactly happy about it, we dont talk to each other anymore.
I met an FtM recently who just assumed that I had no interest in the opposite sex however I dont really plan to tell anyone else for a while now.

Hi, I've been lurking this thread lately, but I'd like to join. I support the LGBTQ community 100% :). Anyway, I'll answer some of the new topics here so that I can keep the conversation going.

No, I haven't come out of the closet, but I've told two of my friends. I knew one of them wouldn't accept me, so I had to explain to her that homosexuality wasn't a choice, and that it is the way people are. I remember she said something about an "It Gets Better" video that she was looking at, and she had kind of set me off. She didn't know how hard it was for some people, and she asked me why I knew about all this, and I said it was because I'm gay, because I wanted to be honest. I told her that she was the first person I had told, and it was fine, but it was kind of a shock for her. It had caused a little anger with me from her, but we made up again. Then I told my other friend. She doesn't like inappropriate jokes, and is mostly set off from the other kids, so I told her, and she was completely fine with it. So far, these are the only people I've told.

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

Or, if you aren't of a minority sexuality and are posting here as an ally, tell us what it's like on the other side. Has anyone ever come out to you? Were they scared of how you'd react? How did they do it?

I advocate passively being out rather than actively coming out. Heterosexuals don't have to come out, so why should others? It draws unnecessary attention to the situation and reinforces the idea that it's so different that one felt the need to announce it.

I'm trying to convince two people that are close to me (friend and family member) to come out of the closet and tell people. But, it's not working out to well, they're both girls, and they don't really want to be judged. My friends mom and dad are deeply against gay/bisexual marriages and people. I don't understand why they do, but they don't let any of her gay friends come into their house or at least while they are there. She once asked her parents what they would do if she was a lesbian and they told her that they would probably disown her. I really thought that was horrible, but I highly doubt her parents would do that.

As for my cousin, my family judges. A lot. But, I'm trying to get her to tell her mom, not her dad tho. I'm pretty sure her mom will be more understanding than her dad. Her mom is nice and all, but she's a bit suspicious because she overheard a part of our conversation. Her dad on the other hand is strongly against it. He even said all gay people should go shoot themselves because it's unnatural. He's the type of person who wouldn't be scared to beat his kids, and he even said 'If I end up killing one, I'll just make another one.' So yea, I don't know if I should still help them some out with it, but I told them I'm here for them.

Hey Toujours, welcome! Have they given an actual reason for not accepting the group? It may not be appropriate given it's a Catholic school (gay-friendly as the school may be, it's not exactly in the official Catholic party line and may be hard to explain to higher-ups?)

Their "explanation" is that we have something called the Core Council, which is a panel of 8 students that's like a GSA, except without open acceptance of everyone since it's a panel. They try to tell the GSA that it's unnecessary because it's redundant due to the Core Council, as much as the Core Council itself tries to explain otherwise.

I advocate passively being out rather than actively coming out. Heterosexuals don't have to come out, so why should others? It draws unnecessary attention to the situation and reinforces the idea that it's so different that one felt the need to announce it.

I totally agree, I've often thought this. If we stop making it a big deal, then it will stop being a big deal - but unfortunately, talking about it and actually being in the situation are two different things, so this change will be very slow and gradual at best.

Quote originally posted by Ctrl.Alt.Geak:

I tried to tell my mother about 6 years ago, she literally said "No you're not" and I agreed with her and made like it was a joke or something (so I basically re-closeted myself), a few years later she asks "If you were gay you'd tell me right?" to which I said "Of course! But I'm not so don't worry". When I first hit high school she sent me to an in-school program, that was run by the church which basically shoved gender stereotypes in our face and told us to act and look a certain way.
I did tell a friend of mine a few months ago, he didn't take it well, he has nothing against gay people but he wasnt exactly happy about it, we dont talk to each other anymore.
I met an FtM recently who just assumed that I had no interest in the opposite sex however I dont really plan to tell anyone else for a while now.

Wow, you seem to have had a rougher time of it than anyone ever should! That's terrible what your mother said, I can't imagine how you'd react to someone saying "No, you're not." I think I'd get defensive and be all "uh, excuse me, I think I'd know!"

Also, your friend - if he didn't take it well and doesn't talk to you anymore, are you sure he doesn't have anything against gay people?

Quote originally posted by Toujours:

Their "explanation" is that we have something called the Core Council, which is a panel of 8 students that's like a GSA, except without open acceptance of everyone since it's a panel. They try to tell the GSA that it's unnecessary because it's redundant due to the Core Council, as much as the Core Council itself tries to explain otherwise.

I'm joining. I wasn't a part of the social group, so hopefully I'll be active in the club. As for how I identify: genderqueer biromantic asexual

I haven't come out as anything in real life. My parents are very religious (my mother particularly so), and they're really not open at all to anything different than "normal". Especially trans* issues. Anytime they're presented with an opportunity to learn, they ignore. So I'm keeping my identity as much of a secret as I can from them. It's also from their raising that I wasn't even aware of gays until I entered high school, which was the experience that completely opened my mind to...everything. (That, and the Internet, of course.)

Plus I know a lot of other close-minded people who assume that I should act more of how my sex says I should act rather than the way I'm most comfortable being. (To give some insight, I'm a female assigned at birth, who has a fluid gender, presents as androgynous, and prefers either gender-neutral pronouns [zie and zir] or male pronouns.)

Then there's the fact that some of the people that I spend my days with don't have good views on people who are bi. And asexuality isn't that well-known. So if I do come out, there's a lot of explaining I would have to do, and some days I'm just so tired of explaining everything every time.

On the plus side, there are a few people that know what I am. Only one person in real life knows, and he accepts me no matter what I do, so knowing him helps me get through my days. And all of my friends online have some idea about me because I'm more comfortable online. Which is quite obvious from this post.

Hi, Asty! :D Good to see you joining. Also.. biromantic? Haven't heard that term. Sounds it would be something like dating either gender, depending on the person, even if you don't have any physical spark with them. Like.. a mental type crush, or something. That might be just typical asexuality, though.

&Ctrl.Alt.Geak, sorry about how your mom reacted some years back.
I feel bad for anyone who's parents either deny, ignore, or try to talk them out of it. My mom did a bit of the ignoring the issue for awhile, but apparently it was still on her mind a lot, even if she didn't want to bring it up with me, and pay attention to it. She eventually did, though. I can't understand how some parents would disown their own child, or deny their feelings, etc. It's depressing to think about.

Since asexuals don't have any sexual attraction to any gender, we further identify mainly by who we become romantically and aesthetically attracted to. A biromantic like Astinus is open to having romantic relationships with either gender, heteroromantics like myself are primarily attracted to the opposite gender, homoromantics are attracted primarily to the same gender, then you've got panromantics and aromantics as well. XD

Just because an asexual doesn't feel the need for sex doesn't mean we don't have the same emotional needs as everyone else. :P

For further study, here's a good resource for a lot of the terminology used by asexuals: [link]

Wow, you seem to have had a rougher time of it than anyone ever should! That's terrible what your mother said, I can't imagine how you'd react to someone saying "No, you're not." I think I'd get defensive and be all "uh, excuse me, I think I'd know!"

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I didn't really come out of the closet. It was more like I was exposed. The first time I was exposed was when my father started to dig around my browser history & found out what I was looking up on the internet. It's normal for a teenage boy to be curious about that kind of stuff. Don't judge. Anyways...you can imagine he wasn't pleased to find out his only son was looking up two guys kissing. He confronted me about & I remember his exact words to this day. "If you choose to live that kind of lifestyle you can no longer stay under my roof.". I was 14 at the time.

Two years later I decided to come out to a friend who I thought I could confide in. I was wrong. She went told everyone she could. Eventually I lost a few friends & after a while my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, stopped talking to me & avoided me like the plague.

A year passed & this time I decided to come out to some of my family members. I told my mother first & she kind of expected it, but to this day she won't accept my sexuality. I told an uncle (dad's brother) next & he had the opposite reaction my dad had. He assured me that I was still his nephew & no matter who I was or what I did he would still love me. A year after I came out to him, another uncle of mine confronted me about my sexuality. Somehow he knew, but his reaction was the same as my other uncle. I was shocked by what he did. I was expecting the same reaction I got from my mother because they're both very religious, but instead he told me he still loves me as if I was his own son & gave me a hug.

So the moral of the story is people will disappoint you & they'll abandon you. But only the most loving & caring will stay by your side. /hallmark moment :'-)

Quote originally posted by Alternative:

Anyway, this has brought me to thinking. Last year for a project, someone I knew who was in one of my certificate courses made a video for a totally not-related subject. Anyway, he made a mini-movie based on what like would be like if the whole gay/straight thing was reversed. So it was normal to be gay, and considered "weird" to our society today to be straight. I can say it sure was interesting.

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