I feel like I need to vent a bit. I'm feeling really anxious about a few events coming up that involve caterers and I'm not entirely convinced that it will be safe. I will bring my own food just in case - instant oatmeal cups, yay - but for some reason I'm feeling particularly anxious. Maybe it's the way they replied to my enquiries that's raising the hairs on my neck. I don't know, but the spidey sense is tingling and I don't get that very often. Normally I bring food anyway and eat that and I'm fine, but something is bugging me more than usual this time.

Any other adults get this unsettled feeling when going to catered events, even if you don't expect to eat the food? This is a whole weekend retreat and I feel a bit vulnerable.

I won't have any way of storing or cooking food on site, so I'm very limited to what I can bring as backup food.

_________________anaphylaxis to tree nuts and peanuts; asthmatic, dairy intolerant, vegan
other family members allergic to to dairy, egg, peanut, peach, banana, sesame, environmentals

Thanks, Alison's Mom. It does get easier, sometimes, but not always. I think what's putting me on edge is how the caterer explained how they handle allergies and didn't listen to my specific allergy accommodations. I feel like they think I'm an allergy extremist, but I need it to be that way to keep me safe. There are still many people out there who don't understand.

_________________anaphylaxis to tree nuts and peanuts; asthmatic, dairy intolerant, vegan
other family members allergic to to dairy, egg, peanut, peach, banana, sesame, environmentals

I find even if I don't get the anxiety about the events, I can never get as excited about them as everyone else. It gets tiring to always have to plan the food, answer people's questions about why you're not eating the event food etc. Then people are saying, "Aren't you excited about your trip to.... or so-and-so's party...?" And honestly I can never get really excited because there's always this underlying anxiety--ok you're right, maybe it's mild after all these years, but it is still there.

So you are not alone, and I totally understand your feelings. Describing it as unsettled, is actually the perfect word. I hope your events go ok, and know that I am in your corner, mentally sending you moral support.

I feel like that a lot, the lack of excitement for some events because of the food burdens.

Turns out I was almost at the retreat (about 90 minutes out of town) when I got a phone call from work saying the person who works the weekend shift called in sick and I needed to work. As I had been looking forward to this retreat's activities for almost a year, I was really upset, there were plenty of tears, and yet I was excited to be able to eat food freely at home. That was really stressing me out and now I feel both upset and relieved.

_________________anaphylaxis to tree nuts and peanuts; asthmatic, dairy intolerant, vegan
other family members allergic to to dairy, egg, peanut, peach, banana, sesame, environmentals

Maybe in future, you could get involved with the committee at work that books these events? So a "friendly" place could be picked?

Yes, definitely! I normally am, but this one was planned by a higher committee and I didn't have the opportunity to get involved with the planning process. I'm usually the one to step up to be in charge of special diets food, to keep myself and others safe.

_________________anaphylaxis to tree nuts and peanuts; asthmatic, dairy intolerant, vegan
other family members allergic to to dairy, egg, peanut, peach, banana, sesame, environmentals

YES! With my kids' MFA, it is so tiring to always plan the food. We are lucky that my mom is great and always makes food specifically for them at family parties, and that we also have some wonderful friends who go out of their way to make food that is safe for them. But with trips, restaurant meals (generally only on trips as we normally just eat at home), and dinners at people's houses outside our normal circle of friends, no, I don't get excited because it's too stressful. And DH is *better*, as in he hasn't left the epipens in the car so far this year, and almost always remembers to bring them when he goes out with the kids, but the food planning, food shopping and food making is all me. OK, vent over : )

SpaceCanada - I'm sorry you didn't get to go on the retreat after looking forward to it for so long! But I totally get the bit about feeling relieved at the same time. When we were due to attend a weekend work retreat at the home of DH's boss, I was really anxious about it as the boss can be intimidating, and I could totally envision things going awry with me making demands in her kitchen. It ended up being OK, but it was nervewracking and I was semi hoping DS would get sick so we wouldn't have go to. . .

SpaceCanada... I totally "get" your anxiety. I've been wanting to chime in ever since I read your original post. I'm sorry you weren't able to attend the retreat, but, at the same time, I also understand your relief in returning to your comfortable "norm". I know you were asking for other adults to comment, but I can completely relate to how you would be feeling because we also have this mixed bag of emotions... excitement & anticipation mixed with fear & anxiety as we go about attending various events & holidays with our son. Go with your gut instinct... you know best!

It's threads and responses like these that make me very thankful to have found such a supportive online group. It helps to know I'm not alone in experiencing anxiety related to allergy accommodations. Sometimes I think I get too hyped up over things because I'm so afraid of reactions. Thank you everyone!

_________________anaphylaxis to tree nuts and peanuts; asthmatic, dairy intolerant, vegan
other family members allergic to to dairy, egg, peanut, peach, banana, sesame, environmentals

Can you maybe follow up with those who did arrange for this event and advise them of the things that needs to be addressed?
It's really a shame that you invested so much time and energy into this event and you weren't able to attend it in the end.
That must have been very frustrating and a bit of a relief at the same time!

Sorry spacecanada that you were not able to go on the get away. I can tell you that you are not alone with your anxiety, I can start to fret as soon as I say yes I will be there! For someone that has had allergies all my life, it is better now than in years past BUT the possibility of a reaction is always there none the less. Planning an evening out or a little get away is not the same for someone without allergies as it is for those of us with allergies. I have often been thankful when gatherings/get aways have been cancelled. We can only plan ahead, yes talk with the ones preparing the food, yes bring food, yes eat when we get home, yes go having already eaten something...... (I must say I would like people without allergies to have allergies for 1 week. They can go grocery shopping (bring reading glasses), have to plan a dinner out with friends, a wedding, and on office dinner meeting!!!)
Yes we know the plan and we will be safe because we are prepared and we also have our epi's

_________________Me-Allergic to Peanut, Tree Nut, Coconut, Shellfish, ASA and Asthma
My Husband and Children No Allergies

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