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Sunday, November 20, 2011

When you need a soulful song to lull you through a hard break-up, or just want to listen to someone belt out a melody packed with the residue of relationships past, Adele should be the one album on your iPod set to repeat. As I’m sure all of you know love, relationships, marriage, and all in-between aren’t always pathed with rose petal pathways leading to eternal longevity and happiness. Sometimes love hurts, sometimes love becomes chaotic, but ultimately there is light at the end of the tunnel. Adele captures every facet of love in the lyrics of some of her most recognized chart topping singles, and in this interview the reader truly gets a fly on the wall look into how these transcending and phenomenal songs came to be. If you get the chance please check out the magazine; and check out the spread…

Do you remember when I said I would dedicate this entire month (Due to my recently celebrated 5th anniversary [insert loud “What,What!” and fist bump]?

Remember how I profusely expressed my utter Fan-tastic (like that play on words don’t cha!) love of Indie Films?

Do you also happen to remember how LONG it’s been since I posted an Indie review?

So do I, and what better way to bounce back into action and produce a blog dedicated to love, than by blogging about such an amazingly funny, sarcastically driven, and ultimately original tale of new found love, relationship struggle, and everything in between like Beginners. I honestly think I have fallen in love all over again with Indies because of this film. It was Crisp, funny, sad at times, character driven, and superbly written. All-in-all, it was the perfect film to finish off a rainy day spent curled up on my couch with snacks and hot chocolate.

The Cast

Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer, Melanie Laurent, Goran Visnjic

The Story

Beginners is a romantic comedy-drama written and directed by Mike Mills. The film engages the audience by telling the story of Oliver (McGregor), a man reflecting on the life and rather unexpected death of his father Hal (Plummer) all while trying to fortify a new romantic relationship with a woman dealing with her own father issues.

Oliver

Is a man with a lot of emotional unresolved issues. As Oliver begins to unravel the coping phase after the death of his father Hal, the film sets the tone for several flashbacks of his relationship with Hal following the death of Oliver’s mother Georgia just years prior. Just after Georgia’s death Hal announced he was gay and began exploring his newly found social surroundings which leads him to a new (and much younger) boyfriend Andy (Visnjic). As Hal finally begins to find happiness in his life, despite Oliver’s confusion, Hal is then diagnosed with terminal cancer. Following this emotional diagnosis, Oliver decides to care for his father until his death. Months after Hal’s death Oliver meets and begins dating…

Anna

Anna is a French actress with a rather peculiar relationship with her own seemingly unstable father. Oliver’s unresolved emotions surrounding his father’s death and ultimately his parents’ life together, along with Anna’s conflicting feelings about her father, aid to a rocky but over-the-top funny relationship, and force both Anna and Oliver to reconcile their feelings for each other and ask the million dollar relationship question…Is it all really worth it?

I loved this film and I really think you will all love it too! Happy Indies everyone!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Veteran's Day is almost here and luckily enough, there are restaurants, vendors, and companies in general that are kind enough to honor our Vets and Military Personnel by way of snazzy perks, discounts, and even a few freebies here and there. To this, I figured I would share some info from one of my favorite sites themilitarywallet.com to get your creative juices flowing for all your Veterans Day plans and/or needs. Enjoy the information, and most of all enjoy your day! We all deserve it.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

She was a 23 year old sassy and outspoken, often ridiculously clumsy, unapologetic for her dreamer like personality, free-spirited firecracker that knew what she wanted in life, and refused to be tied down by someone else’s opinion of how she should behave. He was a 27 year old Navy Seabee, with equally ambitious life goals, a need and liking for structure and routine and often stubborn beyond humanly possible. Who would have ever thought a pair with such variations in likeness would make so much sense when brought together, inevitably taking that walk down the aisle, and committing their lives to one another? Let alone make it last.

Well… we did! And apparently the Universe was in the know as well.

And last it has. Almost 5 years after saying our “ I Do’s” we have found ourselves in the exact same place as we were the day we sealed the deal and locked that ole’ ball and chain…happily head over heels in love. Yes, love is officially in the air and it’s wafting it’s delectable fragrance everywhere I seem to turn my head, and filling me with reminiscent memories of how I met the love of my life turned husband. Our 5th anniversary is officially just around just a few days away, and to commemorate our union I have decided to dedicate all post this month to all things love and marriage.

To kick things off I figured I would play one of my favorite Adele songs that has (since originally hearing it) always reminded me of my hubby and I- even though the song is really about her and her best friend. The complexities and dynamics of two people coming together with two very different perspective and somehow completing each other has always been a factor of relationships that amazed me. I know that Adele has been played to NO end throughout blogs and the radio, but I still love her British songstress ass to pieces and feel that this song fits. Enjoy my favorite Songstrella everyone, and happily ever after to all!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

The last 45 days have been nothing short of a challenge for me. Between work, taking care of my family, and a few other stressors life decided to throw my way, I feel I have completely maxed out my bullshit-o-meter for the next century or so. All in all, life lately has been more of a pain in the ass than I care to deal with. Although things haven’t been stellar, I have found a way to foster a much more positive attitude to help me work through the rough thanks to our marriage counselor that we have been seeing for the last month or so.

Now I’m not usually one that likes to sit down with a complete stranger and air out my dirty laundry, just to have them pick my brain and tell me what I already knew I needed to do, but for the sake of wanting (technically needing) an outsiders opinion to help us see each other clearly I decided to give it a go. And you know what? I couldn’t be happier that I did. Despite my original hesitation and skepticism, seeing a therapist has been the best decision we have ever made. Thanks to therapy the hubby and I are communicating again, really communicating in a way that I honestly never thought I'd see again. He’s also listening to my feelings, and showing me that he has my back no matter how uneasy he was about the outcome. This has been a huge struggle in our marriage, and hearing our therapist not only acknowledge my feelings but agree with me 100%, had such a huge impact on him that it changed him almost instantly. Therapy has been so good in fact, I figured I would blog about some of the tools I’ve learned in hopes of sharing what I think is useful information with all of you. As I’ve stated before marriage alone is difficult, but marriage to someone with PTSD could be downright murder; I know for me it’s always good to hear others coping mechanisms and information they use to get through their rough patches, here are my favorite 5.

Listen-

Understand that listening is not just you patiently waiting for your chance to speak. To listen you must take the other persons words, feelings, and expressions into as great of consideration as you expect them to take yours. By listening you are not only showing the person that you care, you are now able to truly understand their concerns and find the best resolution for them and yourself.

Open-

Open yourself to seeing the situation from their vantage point. It’s the same as walking a day in someone else’s shoes. You might find that their perspective has valid and substantial points that you should consider. This practice of openness will not only remove you from only reflecting on your feelings about the situation, it will also give you a clear scope of how your reactions impact the situation itself as well as the other person

Willing-

Be willing to understand that you may not be the only person who feels hurt or wronged. If you are willing to admit that you have also played a role in your current situation, you will be able to truly move forward.

Strength-

Strength is more than just overcoming hardships, hurt, or anger. Strength is much more then physical or emotional. True strength comes from your undiluted understanding of your own weaknesses and your courage in working to correct them. It’s not just enough to overcome a circumstance that makes you strong, it’s what you learned from it that allowed you to correct it for the future that creates strength.

Passing the past-

The past is called the past for a reason. You have to be willing to step away from the past, learn from it, and truly move on. You can’t say you moved on from the past if you continue to talk about it. You can’t say you are a stronger person than you were if you continue to allow your past to surface itself in your present. Leave the past behind you, and be willing to carve out a new path for yourself today.

Learning new ways to help evolve myself and work through the austere days I sometimes face has been a mission of mine for the last few years. I may not always have the answers or always have the best solutions to life’s problems, but I feel that I am getting there, and carving a much more blissful path every step I take.

What tools do you use to get through your rough patches. Send me an email, I would love to hear about them, or feature them on this blog.

About Me

Welcome to this blog! Our names are Ayana and Emily and we are wives of Combat Veterans. This blog is all about inspiration, sharing resources, and building a community for combat veteran wives, family members and more. Want to know more about us? Check out our " Meet you bloggers" tab.