That doesn't have to be a bad thing, thanks to these expert tips for resolving the not-so-good stuff.

Truth is, you don’t just marry a person—you also marry their family. “The way we grew up influences how we treat, talk to, and divide responsibilities with our spouses,” says Gary Chapman, Ph.D., author of The Five Love Languages. Conflict arises when those values don’t quite line up. “The key is to spend your energy seeking solutions rather than defending your perspective.” Next time you have a disagreement, try to focus on why your husband thinks and feels what he does. Then say, “What you’re saying makes sense to me. Now let me share where I’m coming from so we can figure out a way to make this work.” Instead of setting you up as enemies, this approach helps affirm everyone’s feelings, which brings you closer—and makes it easier to come up with relationship rules that work for both of you.

7 Things He Wishes He’d Known Before You Got Married - Page 2

7 Things He Wishes He’d Known Before You Got Married - Page 2

If you’ve ever endlessly hinted about the birthday present you wanted only to be told he had “no idea what to get you,” you know that men aren’t great at picking up on subtleties. “The danger of expecting your husband to know what you want, think, or feel is that it may cause resentment,” says psychotherapist Marcia Naomi Berger, author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love. “You feel like your needs aren’t being met, and he feels like his efforts aren’t valued.” If you feel resentment building, remind yourself that he’s not a mind reader, and work to be specific about your wants in a noncritical, non-naggy way. So rather than complaining that he never buys you flowers, say “I’d love if you would surprise me with flowers sometime” the next time you pass a florist.