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When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery - but rather they were intent on taking their revenge after Sean stole their "Rock Smoothies" idea (luckily, all that did was bust up his teeth and make the Yugoslavian sound like a Scottish man). Anyway, in an effort to exact revenge, George and Neal designed Sean's costume for his 1974 epic, Zardoz. The costume looked like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Zardoz_zed.jpg Job well done, boys!

In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustration of law enforcement across the nation, these new handcuffs were easily removable. As a result, hundreds of criminals roamed free because of Neal and George's invention. In an effort to turn lemons into lemonade, George and Neal renamed them Slap-Bracelets, and made millions because junior high kids loved them (almost as much as the criminals).

In 1954 George and Neal patented a "Made in China" sticker that could be added to products that were made in China. Today production of our stickers has skyrocketed and we have expanded our product line to include "Made in Taiwan", "Made in Korea", "Made in Mexico", "Made in Honduras", and many other "Made in ..." stickers. We also produce stamps, tags, and labels. We are very proud of our business since all of our stickers and other items are 100% American Made and our factories employ 750,000 Americans and only 150,000 illegal immigrants. And our business is one of the few that keeps growing as more and more American manufacturing jobs are shipped overseas. We are happy to be doing our part to keep American jobs at home.

So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go back in time and force John and Paul to join forces with Mick and Keith. Thus, the band "The Rolling Beatles" took the music scene by storm.

Finally... satisfaction.

Photo by: Neal

The music was so astonishingly good that other musicians gave up in defeat and besides the music of the Rolling Beatles, almost no other music has been produced since 1968.... Almost. Neal and George got such a rush from combining two musical groups that they went back in time to do the same thing a few more times over. Now, instead of debating "Beatles vs. Stones", the world debates "The Rolling Beatles vs. Hammer | Hendrix." Most agree, it's a toss-up.

What time is it? All Along The Watchtower, the Clock Strikes HAMMERTIME!

Photo by: Neal

(As an aside, most agree that it's best not to acknowledge Reznor/Hanson inappropriately named collaboration, "The Nine Inch Hanson Brothers" nor the Prince/Pearl Jam collaboration, "Prince Pearl".)

In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three grizzly bears, a pair of jaguars, three red-tailed hawks, six rattlesnakes, one mongoose, a vast assortment of spiders, a man-o-war jellyfish, a tyrannosaurus rex, two alligators, a couple of venus flytraps, and one big dude with glow-in-the-dark blood, awesome mandibles, greenish skin, rad dreads, and some pretty cool weapons. We've been asked back to do a follow up special where we'll attempt to catch the elusive Nashville Predators.

Chris Hansen with our catch of the day. Let me tell you, this guy was not happy. He kept muttering about how he was only after the queen. Later we had to call an exterminator to clean up an infestation of Internecivus raptus, but since this was To Catch A Predator and not To Catch A Parasite, those clips didn't air.

In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was a hit, especially in the "Males, ages 13-18" demographic. There was much praise. And lawsuits. Lots and lots of those.

In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack, roulette, he tried everything to no avail). Eventually, Neal was completely broke (had even sold his shoes, pants and shirt) and had finally resorted to singing parodies of Weird Al songs in the hopes of earning a few cents or a crust of bread. An unusually sympathetic transvestite chorus girl (guy?) decided to give him a break and tossed $5 in his plastic tip cup. He immediately used it to play Keno at the Mirage, and won! And he didn't stop winning until he had earned $1.5 million, plus a new pair of pants! By 2030 Neal was a multi-billionaire and George won an Oscar for their documentary, entitled "Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend".

It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and George invented the letter E. Until that time A and E were sometimes replaced with I and U respectively (although they were omitted completely if found at the end of a word and one letter was omitted if they appeared next to another vowel). Thus, George and Neal were known as Gorg and Nil and this chronicle was known as "Th Grind Sig of Gorg und Nil's Idvunturus Through Tim und Spuc (und Pudding)!".

In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make Christmas snow globes that featured a nativity scene and played "Joy to the World" while the snow swirled around baby Jesus and the animals. But when our Chinese manufacturer shipped the snow globes to us everything was perfect (well, baby Jesus was replaced by a frog, but hey, whatever sells), until the music started with "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!". But they sold really, really well! Even better than our "Oh Holy Night" whoopee cushions.

It was an honest mistake since the snow globe doubled as a wine stopper and came with a bottle of Three Dog's Mighty Fine wine.

In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the case may be). The book was a best seller... for them, which means it really didn't sell well at all. Here's a sampling of a few of the more than 300 insights they collected:

"Boy, I feel kind of bloated today." Carl Sagan"What a weird day." Steven King"Who ate all my nachos?" Camille Paglia"My feet stink." Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart"I should have just stayed in bed today." Napoleon Bonaparte"I wonder what George and Neal are up to. Maybe I can steal some of their ideas!" Bette Midler"Man...I could really go for some Arby's." Gandhi"This is SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!" George A. Custer"I've fallen and I can't get up!" George A. Custer (a few minutes later)"That was a great play!" Abraham Lincoln"Shhhh, did you hear that?" J. S. Bach"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." Colonel Sanders"Someone get me a mirror and a hairbrush, please." Albert Einstein"Not tonight, I have a headache." Salvador Dali"Mufwa ad mub wum afwormin dut." Ozzy Ozborne"Meh weema ehs meh leef min." Bob Dylan"Today's shaping up to be a movies and PJs day." Queen Elizabeth II"That was a two flusher if I've ever seen one." Alan Alda"Hey you, get out of my closet!" Joan of Arc"They may take our cullen skink, but they'll never take our haggis!" William Wallace "Does this nemes make me look fat?" Cleopatra"Does this baseball cap make me look fat?" Dom Deluise

By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con, Com-Con-Chameleon, Thimblecon, thousands of local comic conventions, and many more) that George and Neal decided to found the first annual ComConCon. This convention was to promote awareness of other conventions. Participants were encouraged to come dressed as their favorite convention. For the first year Neal dressed as the Cleveland Comic, Card and Nostalgia Show and George dressed as Awesome Con DC. The annual ComConCons were a huge success until a small scandal in 2042 when the manager of long time ComConCon participant Illinois Government ComiCon, Ryan Hodge Blagokowski, was convicted of corruption and masterminding a scheme that hoodwinked millions of people out of hundreds of dollars (he claimed to be selling pre-release copies of the seventh book in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, however he was taking the money and had no intention of ever delivering the books, much like Martin himself...). This grand scam was dubbed the ComConCon Con. After spending 13 years behind bars(with 'A Dream of Spring' still listed as 'forthcoming'), R.H. Blagokowski was forever referred to as 'The ComConCon Con Con'.

Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention. The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

In early 1986 Bon Jovi was working on their album Slippery When Wet. Because their previous album wasn't as successful as they had hoped, they hired professional songwriter Desmond Child as a collaborator. He helped write some of the biggest hits from the album, including "You Give Love A Bad Name" and "Livin' on a Prayer". The other Billboard Top 10 hit from the album, "Wanted Dead or Alive" was very nearly a disaster. Written by Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora, the song wasn't originally quite as cool as it turned out to be. Luckily George and Neal stepped in just in time and recommended that the lyrics be changed to "I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride, I'm wanted dead or alive, Wanted dead or alive" from the original "I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride, three year olds want me, want me to get off their ride." We felt most people would agree that guitar toting outlaws riding motorcycles is much cooler than hogging the mechanical horse at the local five and dime.

The original album cover is also something we recommended be changed. But in hindsight, maybe Bon Jovi should have kept it...

Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway musical it was based on, which also starred Tom Hanks and, coincidentally, Neal. Neal played the iconic role of Wilson in the musical, however Tom Hanks got tired of carrying around Neal's severed head and wanted to share the screen with a volleyball for the movie. Neal wasn't too upset though because after his head spending 36 weeks on Broadway his body was starting to get hungry. So George hot-glued Neal's head back on and he had his first meal in months. Ironically, Neal chose coconuts for his first meal.

Neal was just as excited by Hanks' hairy chest and nipples as Hanks was to make fire.

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The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.

So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).

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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.

This site. The best. Bigly good. Those other sites? SAD. So sad. But George and Neal? I mean, trust me. I know good people. I know - I'm the best at knowing good people and you'd be amazed at what those guys can do. Fantastic job, you two.

Well, how about that! We got a comment from someone other than Clem or evil Bette. Thanks for your support Rich, we hope you're doing well, too. It's been a long time since we've talked, so we'll head back to 1998 and pay you a visit then. Bucket run?