#791 Snagging the armrest at a movie theater

Let’s see, they made the seats taller, screens bigger, cushions comfier, and gave cup-holders permanent status. They want us to sit back, relax, and enjoy a nice, quiet evening in our perfect seats.

There’s just one problem, though: that armrest.

Yes, armrests are the only shared space between you and Hairy-Forearm Frank on your left or Pointy-Elbow Elaine on your right. And you can’t share that space, you can’t go halfsies, you can’t do a time share. People, there can be no softly rubbing elbows with a stranger during previews, are we agreed? And honestly, I don’t care how softly the rubbing is or how much you want a corner of that arm rest. Just don’t do it.

So really, we’re left with only one thing you can do, folks.

Get there early, eye your prize, and claim that space and claim it quick. Plant your sharp, bony elbows on both armrests and get ready for the most comfortable movie watching experience of your life.