Anna 2.0: Newest Sexy Russian Spy Isn’t Much of Either

Anna Fermanova, a 2005 graduate of the venerable Ogle School of Hair Skin and Nails in Dallas, attempted to board a JFK-to-Moscow-bound flight with unlicensed munitions. Namely, a $7K Raptor 4X Night Vision Weapons Sight thingie and some other stuff that she scoped out online. They were for her husband in Moscow, aw! Most likely, the couple were hoping to make a quick ruble reselling the wares to the local bribe enforcement. Or she was bringing her hunting aficionado hubby toys from abroad. No, she isn’t a “spy,” just a girl who used UGG-stuffing where Fedex would have been more prudent.

The Russian press has already dubbed all this hoopla as a media witch hunt for spies, which is a tad inaccurate – it’s obviously just a media witch hunt for nOOdz (pending). Anna [for all intents and purposes] Blonde and her belly button ring weren’t up to anything seductive or scandalous like Anna Red. Also, Anna Blonde is a smidgen tackier, but after all, unlike NYC-floozing Chapman, Fermanova was merely “infiltrating” Texas.

So, all this “sexy spy” nonsense should simmer down shortly. Meanwhile, let us now analyze this particular case of Russian feminine mystique, in pictures:

And henceforth, your Russian Facebook thighs shall be famous!

It’s customary to casually pose in front of your most expensive kitchen appliance.

This is why it’s news, everybody.

Facebook: Bringing you all sides of the story.

Anna’s best Hilton impersonation.

This is why “dirty jerz ” is an international concept.

Even more news.

And even more news.

That cat’s name is “Craigslist”

Clothing logos must be clearly displayed and documented at all times. That’s stylin.