Classic Dick

Oh yes, that’s right. That’s what I said. And I said it because it’s true. All women are cheaters.

I don’t mean this to be a provocateur or to prance around in the realm of the hypothetical like some kind of dandy. I mean, flat out, that every woman in the world is a cheater, has cheated, and is probably cheating at this very moment.

Getting a woman to cheat on her husband or significant other is not like getting a woman to go to the gym — by heaping shitloads of gifts and attention on her like a spoilt child and then ultimately getting no burn for your earn. Getting a woman to cheat is like getting a duck to eat bread crumbs or a rat to eat rubbish. All you have to do is toss it in front of their face.

It’s not a hard conclusion to draw, so let’s just look at the facts. Getting attention from men is a woman’s lifeblood. That’s why women worship men in the form of menial tasks that they’re not very good at — because men control our attention like the gods of old controlled the sun and the crypt. We giveth and we can taketh away.

Good attention, bad attention, the worst kind of attention; it doesn’t matter. To a woman, being in a Girls Gone Wild video is just as laudable as serving in a highly respected public office. They stack up eyeballs like empty pie plates at a NOW convention.

So let’s compare: a woman’s lust for attention versus a man’s desire to consume or waste things — something very manly indeed. Take throwing a sandwich in the street for example. Do you know what’s better than throwing a sandwich in the street? That’s right, throwing two sandwiches in the street. Now what if that sandwich cost twice as much as the first? What if you had to wait in line again to get it? I would probably still do it and I’m betting that most men would. But what if dealing with two sandwiches cost you your dignity, your job, and your soul?

Women, of course, have none of those things — or at least don’t have 2 out of 3. That’s why when we change ‘sandwiches’ to ‘men’ and ‘throwing them in the street’ to ‘getting any kind of attention from them’, we can easily draw the conclusion that women would do anything, and would stop at the destruction of nothing, for more of it.

Not even guilt will stop women from being the cheating harlots that they are. That’s because women think that cheating requires some kind of expressed willingness or premeditation on their part to actually count. I shit you not, that is exactly what they say. To a woman true cheating requires a planning and malice on par with a bank robbery. If the only evidence of infidelity you can produce is that she got drunk and put herself in a compromising position, you’re up argument creek without a chance in hell.

Can you believe that? It means if a woman can somehow convince a co-worker to force himself on her, or to “rape” her, that doesn’t count as cheating. It’s just another horrible thing that’s happened to poor defenseless her in this dog eat dog, man-world of rape happy abusers. That’s obviously a bunch of bullshit, but stand back because it gets worse.

Women also don’t count miring themselves in twisted, Dynasty-styled emotional affairs as cheating. For instance, a woman may hang around with as many as five or six of her ex-boyfriends without batting an eye. She may accept niceties from male co-workers or university staff members without ever questioning the motive of a free backrub. That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to be handing out, isn’t it? A free backrub? They’re like porno pamphlets in Vegas. Sometimes I can’t even get to work without getting two or three.

Bullshit.

Like any virus, women are not content with ruining their own lives. Ultimately, they seek out the lives of decent, honest men and tempt and corrupt them until they appear to be cheaters as well when nothing could be further from the truth. Cheating is like getting pregnant. It’s 100% a woman’s fault 100% of the time.