In Evolving, A Mind, Moody attacks the religious indoctrination of children, arguing, among other things that it is “horrifically despicable to inflict upon a child the notion of damnation.”

Isla talks about the satisfaction that comes from reality and authenticity in I believe in me.

And this was the beginning and the end of the second beer.

And ‘Pod was bored because it had sent away all of its freethinking friends, and there is nothing good on TV, for the Writers and Producers continued to forsake each other. And ‘Pod said, Let there be a book full of contradictions, anachronisms and archaisms and let it be called it the Bible, for verily, I am crazy like that.

And it came to pass that many worshiped the book and carried it to every corner of the earth, which really had no corners, being a squat spheroid, but this did not deter the many followers of the Bible.

Behold, the skeptics met the onslaught of the believers with the scientific method, intelligent questions and historical analysis:

And ‘Pod said, Behold, that was fun. Verily, I shall mess with the heads of people some more. Let there be fundamentalist believers in political power throughout the world. Let them commit all manner of atrocities, yea, even burning embassies, passing Christian bills in secular governments, and voting for Mitt Romney.

Behold, once again, the freethinkers defended their political liberties through the application of wisdom and careful argument:

And ‘Pod ordered yet another. And the Bartender said, Have you not had enough? For behold, are ye not shit-faced?

And ‘Pod slurred, Nay, let there be another beer. And ‘Pod sent forth a multitude of plagues of unreason, harmful superstition and bigotry.

And it came to pass that as ‘Pod waved its tentacles with glee, that the atheists stood up in force and one among them said:

Let us be strong in logic, and in the power of the scientific method.

Put on the whole armor of reason, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the dogmatic.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the irrational ideas of the televangelists, creationists, and Jesus Camp graduates and against those who desire to hasten the end of the world, and against religious intolerance in high places.

Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of intelligence;

And your feet shod with the scientific method;

Above all, taking the shield of logic, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the superstitious.

And thus prepared, rushed into battle with the forces of theism once again:

And ‘Pod was laughing drunkenly. And behold, when it looked upon the Bartender, it saw not one, but three blurry, continually moving Bartenders. Nevertheless, ‘Pod said, Let there be another beer. And the Bartender reluctantly provided, but only after he taketh ‘Pod’s keys.

And ‘Pod slurred, Lissssten, if you thought that was hilariousss, behold thisss great challenge: Let there be men and women acrossss the land who claim to heal sicknessss through faith thereby taking advantage of the dessssperately ill.

And the atheists and skeptics and the freethinkers created the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and sent his Noodliness to attack ‘Pod. Behold, there was a mighty drunken brawl and titanic fragments of pasta and tentacle were scattered across the surface of the earth. No one knoweth who won, for the Bartender spake not concerning the matter.

But it did come to pass that many feasted on delicious calamari and spaghetti for many days.

Notes:1. There is considerable debate among scholars over the meaning of “beginning.” Most of the discussion revolves around the question, “The beginning of what, exactly?” Some scholars argue that “Beginning” refers to the name of the bar. back

2. This reference to a stout has lead some scholars to refer to this text as the “Book of Guinness,” but mostly in informal debates in pubs, and not in the scholarly literature .back