God said to Adam, "I've got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a penis. The bad news... I've only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"

Boy: Do you like parties?Girl: Yes, why?Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!

HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight?WIFE: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

At 2/8/2011 5:02:26 PM, Mirza wrote:What is the thing called that is usually long, and has something white coming out of it after reaching a certain point?

An erect penis after reaching orgasm.

What works faster if you work it slower, but works slower as you work it faster?

a computer?

a spitroast. I actually said the answer earlier

the reasoning behind it: If you spin a spitroast too quickly, the fire won't heat up the meat quickly across the surface area so there is more exposure for substantially less time. Meanwhile, if you spin it slowly, you get more exposure on the same spots also for substantially more time. Thus- slow spinning = fast cooking, fast spinning = slow cooking.

A pregnant Jamaican woman fell into a coma before she gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. When she woke up, the doctor told her that her brother had named them. "Oh no," she said. "My brother's an idiot. What did he name the girl?" "Denise," said the doctor. "Oh, that's not bad," she said. "And the boy?" "Denephew."

A woman went to a doctor with a black eye and told him that every time her husband comes home, he beats her and she doesn't know what to do. The doctor told her that, when her husband comes home, she should gargle water. Just keep gargling and gargling. A few days later she came back to the doctor bruise free. "Wow!" she said. "I did what you said. When my husband came home, I just gargled water, and he didn't hit me." The doctor replied, "See what happens when you shut the fvck up?"

A woman was walking by a large pit when she saw a frog that was trying to get out. She took the frog out of the pit and placed it on level ground. "Thank you!" said the frog. "For your kindness I will grant you three wishes. But for every thing you wish for yourself, your husband will get it 10x greater."

So the woman said, "I wish to be the most beautiful woman in the world." The frog said, "Okay, but your husband will be 10x more beautiful."

Then the woman said, "I wish to be the richest woman in the world." The frog said, "Okay, but your husband will be 10x richer."

At 2/9/2011 12:35:00 AM, nonentity wrote:A pregnant Jamaican woman fell into a coma before she gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. When she woke up, the doctor told her that her brother had named them. "Oh no," she said. "My brother's an idiot. What did he name the girl?" "Denise," said the doctor. "Oh, that's not bad," she said. "And the boy?" "Denephew."

: A woman went to a doctor with a black eye and told him that every time her husband comes home, he beats her and she doesn't know what to do. The doctor told her that, when her husband comes home, she should gargle water. Just keep gargling and gargling. A few days later she came back to the doctor bruise free. "Wow!" she said. "I did what you said. When my husband came home, I just gargled water, and he didn't hit me." The doctor replied, "See what happens when you shut the fvck up?"

At 2/9/2011 12:55:16 AM, nonentity wrote:During a flight to Paris, a stewardess walks up to Rene Descartes and asks, "Would you like something to drink?" After a moment the French philosopher answers, "I think not." And he disappears.

At 2/9/2011 12:39:45 AM, nonentity wrote:A woman was walking by a large pit when she saw a frog that was trying to get out. She took the frog out of the pit and placed it on level ground. "Thank you!" said the frog. "For your kindness I will grant you three wishes. But for every thing you wish for yourself, your husband will get it 10x greater."

So the woman said, "I wish to be the most beautiful woman in the world." The frog said, "Okay, but your husband will be 10x more beautiful."

Then the woman said, "I wish to be the richest woman in the world." The frog said, "Okay, but your husband will be 10x richer."

So the woman said, "Now give me a mild heart attack."

I prefer the one where it's only two times, and the guy wishes to donate a kidney.