Obradovich: His book shows cancer survivor merits a medal - for courage

Aug. 7, 2012

Above and Beyond Cancer Kilimanjaro Climb 2012.

Written by

Kathie Obradovich

More information

“We Call Her Kili” by Dave Bartemes is available in Des Moines at Divine Treasures and Cokesbury bookstores, and at Barnes & Noble, Amazon and AuthorHouse.com. Find Above+Beyond Cancer on the web at Aboveandbeyondcancer.org.

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The Olympic Games are all about inspiration. The competitors represent the pinnacle of athletic achievement, and the stories of those who pursue their gold-medal dreams are all the more compelling for the trials and adversities they had to overcome.

But not all athletic achievement ends in a gold medal, or even a race completed or a mountain climbed. Sometimes, the achievement is simply about mustering the courage to set foot in the locker room.

Dave Bartemes’ story won’t end up on television, and you’ll never see his face on a Wheaties box. But it is as compelling as any that you’ll see from London this week.

Bartemes, of Des Moines, was one of 40 cancer survivors and caregivers, many of them Iowans, who joined an expedition to climb Mount Kilimanjaro last January. The trip was organized and sponsored by Above+Beyond Cancer.

The group’s founder and the expedition leader, Dr. Richard Deming, is the medical director of Mercy Cancer Center in Des Moines. Its executive director, Charlie Wittmack of Des Moines, is a lawyer and an adventurer known for his Mount Everest climb and completion of a World Triathlon.

Bartemes, diagnosed with prostate cancer 23 years ago, was the oldest of the Kilimanjaro trekkers at 73. His book about his experience, “We Call Her Kili,” self-published through AuthorHouse, came out last month. The proceeds benefit Above+Beyond Cancer and Kilimanjaro Orphanage in Tanzania.

I met Bartemes about six years ago because of his work as a permanent deacon in the Diocese of Des Moines. He invited me last March to an event at Drake University, where he and another trekker and cancer survivor read excerpts from their not-yet-published books. Watching Bartemes stand in front of a crowd of people and read a chapter called “The Locker Room” permanently shifted my definition of courage.

It’s this chapter that makes me detour from my usual political subject matter and recommend this book. It’s intensely and unflinchingly personal. Before Bartemes even left Iowa, he had to scale a mountain that has defeated more people than any pile of rocks in Africa. He had to face the locker room.

Bartemes trained for the climb at a local fitness center. An athlete in younger days, he’d never had concerns about changing in locker rooms in the past. But after surgery for prostate cancer, the locker room was an intimidating place. Bartemes writes:

“But why hesitate? I know that men in locker rooms undress in plain view. I know they walk to the showers naked as the day they were born; not nearly as pretty, but just as naked. I hesitate because I’m afraid they will know. I don’t know how they will know, but somehow they will know. Someone may tell them that I’m part of a cancer group that’s going to Kilimanjaro. Someone may notice that I slip a pad into my shorts while I’m dressing. I need the pad because I drip, and when I exert myself I spurt urine uncontrollably. They will figure it out, and they will know.”

After his first workout, Bartemes ducked into an unused nook in the locker room to change. But when he returned the next time, he forced himself to change in the main locker room.

Over the weeks of training, he gradually let go of his fear. Now, he writes, “I understand a little bit more about locker rooms. I also understand a little bit more about me.”

It’s this understanding that helped Bartemes cope with the trials he would face in Africa. It’s an understanding that many of us — cancer patients or merely couch potatoes — could find worthwhile.

Bartemes’ book, which is not quite 100 pages, won’t top the best-seller lists. But every dollar donated to Above+Beyond Cancer helps more cancer survivors find their personal gold medals.