Author: Patrick Non-White

Bedford New Hampshire School Superintendent Chip McGee is a sensitive man. Chip McGee is sensitive to his duties as an educator. He's sensitive to the instruction and welfare of his students. He's sensitive to the constitutional limits on his power as a government official.

A number of students at Bedford High School were disciplined after making remarks on Twitter about Superintendent Chip McGee’s announcement on the social networking site that classes would resume on Wednesday.

It seems students said rude things about McGee's insistence they attend school the day after a blizzard. Chip McGee understands that the students have a right to speak their minds. After all, the Constitution guarantees even students the right to free speech. But with that great power comes a great responsibility, the responsibility not to upset Chip McGee.

I want to stress that the widespread rumors that Rod Stewart inserted a wombat into my anus are just that – rumors! No credible witnesses have come forth to support these allegations. And if any do, they'll be suspended, and it will go down on their permanent records!

“Kids said some very funny, clever things,” McGee said on Thursday. “And some kids stood up and said, ‘Hey, watch your manners.’ That was great. And some kids — a few — said some really inappropriate things.”

And so Chip McGee suspended four of them, for tweeting, from the privacy of their homes, about just what an appalling dildo-bat Chip McGee actually is.

“It’s been a really good exercise in issues of students’ right to speech, on the one hand, and students’ and teachers’ rights to an educational environment that’s conducive to learning,” McGee said. “Kids have the right to say whatever they want about me.”

However, this does not mean students should expect to be able to make inappropriate comments on social media without consequences, McGee said — even though the tweets were sent outside of school.

Actually, the First Amendment means that students do have the right to say that Chip McGee is an appalling dildo-bat from the the privacy of their homes, even on social media, without governmentally-imposed consequences. And Chip McGee, for whatever reason the citizens of Bedford, New Hampshire in their wisdom decided, is the government. Schools may discipline students for speech that disrupts the classroom (shouting, during math class, that "Chip McGee is an appalling dildo-bat") or for speech advocating illegal activity,

But it is not illegal to call Chip McGee an appalling dildo-bat, or "the Gimp" at Rod Stewart's last anal wombat insertion party, from the privacy of one's home, or even on social media. In the first case, this is protected opinion (I sincerely and genuinely believe that Chip McGee is an appalling dildo-bat), and in the second, mere hyperbole. (It was probably just a ferret, or maybe a mongoose.) Particularly given that in Bedford, New Hampshire, Chip McGee is the government. He is The Man, as that wombat, and Rod Stewart, could assure you. And if these students and their parents sue Chip McGee, and win (as they assuredly would) he'll never pay a dime.

“The First Amendment right means you can say what you want, (but) it doesn’t mean that you are free of repercussion,” McGee said. “It can’t disrupt what we’re doing in school … If something disrupts school, and it (occurs) outside school, we not only can take action, we have to.”

McGee said he hopes that students will learn from this incident about “the line” of decent and appropriate commentary.

“You only learn that by checking where it is, and having something happen when you cross it,” he said.

"I support free speech, but" is the eternal cry of the government censor who knows censorship is illegal, but abuses his power because, fuck it, he's the government. In Chip McGee's case, it's a very big but. A but large enough to fit a wombat.

On behalf of Ken and myself, sorry. It would be difficult to write about this infuriating, monstrous crime without saying something one or the other of us would later regret. Perhaps later. Please feel free to discuss this atrocity among yourselves.

In the meantime, some cartoons, for your reading pleasure:

And finally, a reminder that France prosecutes people, indeed "national symbols," for speech far milder than what Charlie Hebdo had to say.

I'll confess that I don't watch much television news, but I have run across Greta Van Susteren through the years, principally when she served as an analyst during the O.J. Simpson trial. Since then, it would appear Ms. Van Susteren has parlayed her expertise into a nightly primetime show on the Fox News Channel.

Where she pontificates on matters outside her expertise.

For instance, Ms. Van Susteren, who may be highly qualified to discuss the criminal law, also feels qualified to discuss computer surveillance, security, and international intelligence. But on these matters she has no more business giving opinions than do I. Less, in fact. I know this, because I am one of her sources of news.

Screenshots follow, to punish the guilty.

Now, it may well be that Ms. Van Susteren has been to North Korea three times, and she may well read a bit about the country, but if she is obtaining her news from "the North Korea state-owned news twitter feed," she is obtaining it from a dubious source indeed. The feed's actual author, me1, has never been to the Korean peninsula at all, and cannot read a word of the language. "The North Korean state run media" is a parody, derived in tone more from Soviet Russian newspapers (which I could read) than from Korean propaganda.

How could this have happened? Probably confirmation bias: the Tweet was too good to check. If Ms. Van Susteren had scrolled further down the feed, she'd have found such gems of news as:

We're told, by the media, that we should trust their authority, that they have "layers of editors and fact-checkers" at their service. But sometimes they're no better than bloggers, particularly when they venture outside their areas of expertise, or they fail to consult actual experts.

This is not a slam against Ms. Van Susteren or Fox News in particular. The "North Korea state-owned news twitter feed" has taken in many journalists through the years, at publications and websites more and less prestigious, on the right and left sides of the ideological center. It is to say, rather, that we as consumers of what the news media purvey, should be careful about what we're buying.

Trust but verify. Caveat emptor.

UPDATE:

Despite multiple comments at her own site warning Ms. Van Susteren, THIS IS A PARODY, meaning, "Go back and look," Ms. Van Susteren (who has updated her post) merely concedes that "some say" the "North Korea state-owned news twitter feed" is a parody. I myself, and others, have tweeted her multiple times to tell her: "Yes it is."

It is a sweet puppy. Again, this isn't ideological criticism of Ms. Van Susteren, or of Fox, but an example of confirmation bias. When I want to get ideological, I do it with Juche. SECOND UPDATE: If Ms. Van Susteren replies or addresses this, we will update.

Remember when I said this gentle bit of media criticism was non-ideological?

Slate, hardly a bastion of right-wing thought, has just fallen for the same bait (here's a cache). According to Slate, North Korea is enjoying a massive breakthrough in internet technology.

Again, a screenshot to punish the guilty:

To its credit, Slate has left the story (mostly) intact, and published a correction. A most grudging correction, which hardly acknowledges that author Lily Hay Newman was hacked by … her own gullibility, and again, confirmation bias.

It isn't a "misstatement," Ms. Newman. It's a failure to read. Again, if you'd only scrolled down the feed a bit, you'd have discovered this recap of the 2014 World Cup:

All-conquering victorious heroes of Korean People's Football Team defeat Japan, USA, advancing to World Cup final against Germany.

From the reports and the debates on these reports heard at the last city council meeting, it is evident that we are dealing with the following main facts.

First, the wrecking and diversionist-espionage work of disgruntled city employees, among whom a rather active role was played by the police, affected more or less all, or nearly all, of our organizations – economic, administrative, and sewage treatment.

Second, sabotage and espionage are being carried out at the social media level, including Facebook and Twitter.

Jeff Powers of South Pittsburg Tennessee exhorts city workers to crush internet sabotage and wrecking

Third, some of our city employees, both at the center and at the periphery, not only failed to discern the face of these wreckers, spies, and killers, but proved to be so careless, complacent,and naive that at times they themselves assisted in sabotage by failing to discipline or terminate the wreckers.

These are the three incontrovertible facts which naturally emerge from the reports and the discussions on them.

WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED, FELLOW CITIZENS?

How are we to explain the fact that our city employees, having a rich experience in the struggle against all sorts of jay-walking, littering, and sewage leaks, proved in the present case to be so naive and blind that they were unable to discern the real face of the enemies of South Pittsburg, that they failed to recognize the wolves in sheep's clothing and were unable to tear away their masks? What negligence, friends! And how shall it be punished?

Can it be claimed that the wrecking and sabotage of the agents of disgruntled city employees operating in the territory of South Pittsburg can be anything unexpected and unprecedented for us? No, it is impossible to claim this. This is demonstrated by the wrecking acts in various branches of the road maintenance department during the past ten years, beginning under the previous mayor, as is recorded in the minutes of the July 2014 council meeting.

Can it be claimed that in this past period there were no precautionary signals or warnings about the wrecking, spying, or terrorist activities of the disgruntled agents of the water department? No, it is impossible to claim this. We had such signals, and the city council has no right to forget about them.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE?

What are the facts which our city employees have forgotten about, or which they simply have not noticed?

They have forgotten that city employees at all times act as representatives of South Pittsburg, whether at work, at home, in church, or on the internet. They have forgotten that there is no right to privacy in South Pittsburg. We have an accepted habit of chattering about the cold coffee in the council meeting room, but people don't want to ponder about what this thing is – sabotage by Myrtle Huffines, the mayor's secretary, who has been told, again and again, that we want Folger's, not Maxwell House from the Piggly Wiggly. Sabotage is not a myth, it is a very real and ever-present threat. by wreckers who wait for the opportunity to attack South Pittsburg, to crush it, or to undermine its might and to weaken it within.

It is this main fact that our city employees have forgotten. And so we must bring down the fist of the united peoples and government of South Pittsburg upon these enemies, to remind them of their duty. Henceforth, fellow public servants, fellow citizens, the eye of South Pittsburg shall be upon you all. All of these traitors, and all enemies of the peoples of South Pittsburg must be reminded, that criticism of the city council and its departments is a termination offense. We will pursue these enemies to the death, as we did with the raccoon that was knocking over trash-cans on Woodleaf Road.

The mistake made by the dissenters on the council is that they fail to notice and do not understand this difference between the old and new South Pittsburg, the changes wrought by the traitors of Facebook and Twitter, and, not noticing this, they are unable to adapt themselves to fight with the new wreckers in a new way. I move that the revised policy on social media use by city employees be passed.

It was late when Zach arrived back at the mall from the newspaper office. The entrance was blocked by a restraining order, partially shredded. Zach and Tom walked on, past the two Human Rights Commissioners the government had stationed to prevent further Hate Speech against the Corleone family, and the good name of Italian-Americans everywhere. The door was opened by another Human Rights Commissioner. wearing an outsized coat and vest over a big belly. Zach thought the Commissioner sure was fat, then banished that thought, as a form of body-shaming. As the over-sized Commissioner held the door, Zach reflected:

Body-shaming is ubiquitous and abhorrent; it happens everywhere, to pretty much everyone, at one time or another. It is especially levied against women, who are shamed for being skinny, for being tall, for being short, for having large breasts, for having small breasts, for having tattoos, for not having tattoos, for body hair, for dressing as they will, for being sexy, for being prudish, for being smart, for having interests outside STEM. Women are shamed at some point for being pretty much anything while also being female, including for being ugly (and failing to serve a purpose as a beauty object) and for being pretty (which must mean they are vapid or dumb). Zach shuddered that he had fallen into the trap of fat-shaming. The vest was no doubt padded with writs, for the protection of the Corleone family and others against harassment and hate speech, but even if it wasn't, the Human Rights Commissioner had a right to dignity, and to revel in his own body.

Inside, Sonny, Clemenza, and Tessio were waiting. Sonny came to Zach, and took the young student-columnist's head into his hands, saying kiddingly, "Beautiful, beautiful, that police captain sure knocked you up real good."

It was Tom who spoke first, over the stunned objections of Clemenza and Tessio: "Sonny, 'knocked up' is an outdated phrase used by anti-woman bigots and mansplainers to describe pregnancy. It implies, to right-thinking people, an element of physical violence, and if I may say so, using that term is a monstrous form of Hate Speech. It denigrates women, and it denigrates choice, the choice that each woman has to decide for herself whether to terminate an unwanted fetus."

Tessio spoke up, "Pete, has it occurred to you that Zach might not be a Catholic, that Zach might not be a Christian, that Zach might be an Atheist, or a Muslim, or a Jew? When you invoke that name, you're excluding people of faiths outside Christianity (which I might add is responsible for 2,000 years of genocide and repression), and people of no faith. You're talking Hate Speech, and if weren't for the law of omerta, I'd turn you in right now."

Sonny added, "Sal, you're right, but I should add that referring to the Don as 'the Old Man' is ageist. It connotes senility, and at the same time grants him an authority he doesn't necessarily deserve. We can do better than this. It's a form of Hate Speech, and it should be against the law, if it isn't already."

All five men remained silent, for a few minutes, reflecting on their crimes.

Finally, Zach broke the silence. "What have we heard about the Turk?"

"JESUS CHRIST!" the other four interjected, then hung their heads in shame.

"Mister Sollozzo is holed up with that police captain," Tom said at last. "He's untouchable with that kind of protection. What you have to understand is that no one has ever attacked a New York police captain. All of the five families, and the Human Rights Commission, would turn against us."

"You get me a gun, and I'll kill him," said Zach. "And I won't do it out of any racial or religious animus. I'll do it out of respect for my father."

Sonny hugged Zach, violently, smiled, and said "Tom, this is speech, and this man's taking it very personal. It ain't like the war. You gotta get up on top of them until you see the whites of their eyes and then BADA-BING! All over your nice Ivy League suit!"

Clemenza sighed, "Sonny, I wish you hadn't said that. The Bada-Bing is a strip club in a racist melodrama that denigrates Italian-Americans as gangsters, sexists, and thugs. The media have promoted this stereotype through a plethora of mafia movies. It's fair to say that a disproportionate number of Italian-Americans have been portrayed as hoodlums by Hollywood. Though not to the same extent as people of color, marginalized European-Americans, such as Italian-Americans, Greek-Americans, Serb-Americans, and Ukrainian-Americans, are generally reduced by screenwriters to a caricature of what Anglo-Americans deem them to be. Tragically, this marginalization at the hands of White society leads these maligned peoples into prejudicial conduct against women and people of color, the true victims of Hate Speech. If we're ever to move forward, the sort of speech in which you just engaged needs to be outlawed."

"So there's no hope for us?" Zach asked.

"I guess not. We should turn ourselves in to the Human Rights Commissioners," Tessio agreed.

Our friends at Quarter to Three, one of the best gaming sites on the web (and one not involved in #Gamergate!) are compiling a list, with detailed reviews, of great horror movies from the past two decades. 31 movies in 31 days. You know all about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Night of the Living Dead, but have you seen Audition? Did you know that "The Call of Cthulhu" has been filmed, and that someone, somehow, actually made a decent film based on H. P. Lovecraft?

One of my rituals, every October, is to watch a mix of classic and newer horror movies. The people behind this series know what's good, and I'm looking forward to watching their recommendations. But if you're squeamish, don't click!

SCIENCE IN THE HANDS OF ANGRY LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS: That DOJ attorneys are threatening scientists with criminal prosecution for the "return" of Kennewick Man, to Indian tribes whose ancestors were in Siberia when he died, is disgraceful. If only the Tsar knew what evil his ministers are doing.

YOU NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND! Unfortunately, we all too often leave man's best friend behind:

Even if it did come at some additional cost, so what? Going by simple cost-benefit analysis, the military wouldn't go to such great lengths to retrieve the bodies of fallen soldiers or protect the American flag, and yet it does. Why? Because everyone understands that such obligations are morally required and vital to morale.

"There are those who consider our military working dogs to be pieces of gear," Ferrell says in Glory Hounds. "I, for one, do not believe that at all. To try to remove your heart from the situation is really asking too much of a handler."

If you believe it's wrong for the army to abandon its dogs in the wilds of Iraq and (coming soon) Afghanistan, why not call your congressional representatives to let them know you support Walter Jones' bill prohibiting such practices, and may vote accordingly come November?

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. I'm only drawing them. Women's bodies have taken this form over the millenia."

Kid, if you have "forty years of experience" but you think that comic book covers depict women realistically, it's time to drop the pencil and maybe … go out and meet a few? Of course, comic books are hardly the worst media offenders with regard to horrifying displays of the female body. That honor goes to glossy "women's magazines" and the fashion industry to which they cater.

The giant brains in our administration seem not to have a clue on how to handle Putin. They could learn a lot from the Finns, who are masters of asymmetric warfare. An engineer of my acquaintance, who served as a frogman in the Finnish Navy, once told me that in the event of war the Finns would block access to the Baltic by destroying cargo ships at the mouths of Russian harbors. I believe him.

As Richard Dawkins has pointed out, a world view or, ahem, "umbrella subject," which can't be verified through testable means, is not science. It's religion. But dress it up in technical-sounding gobbledygook, and the "reality-based community" will bow down and worship it all the same.