Have
you ever been in an audience listening to a speech that never ends? It
is an even more ghastly experience for the speaker who plainly wants to
finish but just doesn’t seem to be able to wrap it up. The sweat
beads on his brow, his eyes dart around frantically seeking a savior,
his hand clench and unclench and words continue pouring from his moving
mouth. And the audience prays for it all to end.

I’ve
been at synagogue services and also at business meetings that suffer from
the same syndrome. Just like the speaker who can’t stop, the longer
it goes on, the less likely it is that anything valuable is occurring.
There is another event that suffers from having no ending.

I particularly
enjoy being a dinner guest when a family’s children are also at
the table. If they are deliberately included in the conversation, their
views can be delightfully off-beat and refreshing. The problem arises
when they leave the table mid-meal. Whether they excuse themselves politely
or simply vanish, they leave unoccupied chairs and an off-balance feel
to the gathering.

But
since they have no idea of when it will end, what are they to do? They
become restless because the meal stretches off endlessly into the future.

Happily,
ancient Jewish wisdom offers a solution. Establish a formal end to every
meal and signal that everyone is expected to remain till the end by labeling
it “Grace after meals.”

The
Torah directs us to thank God for the food we have just eaten with a blessing;

…you
shall eat and be satisfied; then you shall bless the Lord…
(Deuteronomy 8:10)

We are
also taught to thank God for giving us His book, by saying a blessing
before we study the Torah. Ancient Jewish wisdom discusses these blessings
over food and the Torah in the same section to make the connection that
food nourishes our bodies while God’s word sustains our souls. One
who cares only for his body is but half a human as is one who cares only
about his soul.

Why
is one blessing said before and the other after? We say the Torah blessing
before our souls are born aloft by hearing God talking
to us from the pages of Scipture. However, we say the major food blessing
after our stomachs are sated. The reason is because we
always try to progress upwards towards the climax. Allowing God to talk
to us from the pages of His Book is the whole point of reading His word.
The blessing precedes that pinnacle. However, the highlight of the meal
is when we talk to God.

In this
fashion, a Biblical meal never just fades away. It builds to a peak and
goes out with a bang. The solemnity of the Grace after Meals, along with
its joyful melodies wraps the meal in the fabric of an unforgettable experience.

Children
can easily be taught to remain at the table because the meal has a finite
conclusion in the form of Grace after Meals. They readily understand that
leaving the table before thanking God is even worse behavior than leaving
a meal without thanking their parents.

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Good
advice for those in charge of worship services is to emulate the principle
of the Grace after Meals. Instead of allowing the power and the passion
of prayer to simply fade away as people inconspicuously creep to the exits
in order to escape an interminable service, finish with a bang. Program
the most important, and perhaps the most moving part of the service for
the very end. Thus will people leave invigorated rather than fatigued.

Similarly,
arrange business meetings with not only a start time but an equally definite
ending time. Start the meeting with the less important items on the agenda.
Finish it with the most important topics and perhaps with an uplifting
announcement. People will leave energized rather than wearied.

We hope
our Thought
Tool books help you to study God’s wisdom and to enjoy uplifting
conversation at mealtimes. Our two volumes are on a web only “get
two for the price of one” sale right now. They make a delightful
gift for yourself or for someone you want to bless.

Rabbi Daniel Lapin, known world-wide
as America's Rabbi, is a noted rabbinic scholar, best-selling author and
host of the Rabbi Daniel Lapin Show on San Francisco’s KSFO. He
is one of America’s most eloquent speakers and his ability to extract
life principles from the Bible and transmit them in an entertaining manner
has brought countless numbers of Jews and Christians closer to their respective
faiths. In 2007 Newsweek magazine included him in its list of America’s
fifty most influential rabbis.

I particularly enjoy
being a dinner guest when a family’s children are also at the table.
If they are deliberately included in the conversation, their views can
be delightfully off-beat and refreshing.