SAN ANTONIO — Ask Gregg Popovich about Tim Duncan, and the San Antonio Spurs coach will espouse the merits of his beloved big man.

Ask him to talk about himself — specifically Duncan's claim that, impossible though it might seem, his occasionally uncouth coach has grown even more fiery with age — and Popovich will deliver a wisecrack.

"Timmy's a pain in the ass, and I'm tired of coaching him," he said this week. "Anybody else (have questions)? Good. Have a good day."

Yet as the Spurs march in search of a fifth NBA title with their coach, holding a 2-0 lead against the Memphis Grizzlies in the Western Conference finals, the secret about Popovich's surliness is no more. The real Popovich is as cultured as he can be crass, as thoughtful as he can be short-tempered.

The rough exterior isn't a ruse so much as a reflection of this Spurs environment he has built with owner Peter Holt and longtime general manager R.C. Buford. They decided long ago they would be all about the task at hand and selflessness, with a total lack of concern for outside perceptions.

But slowly, some 17 years into this incredible run, with a better winning percentage than any other coach in the four major North American sports, the Popovich his players and associates have cherished for so long has emerged as never before. Spurs beat reporter Jeff McDonald of the San Antonio Express-News perfectly captured the one-of-a-kind experience of working with Popovich in a Sports Illustrated article last month. He told writer Jack McCallum, "There's a kind of Stockholm syndrome. You start to feel affection for your captor."

But this is nothing new, this sentimentality that surrounds Popovich, who, believe it or not, does have a softer side.

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Part-time Spurs advance scout Rick Duque has known a different Popovich than the rest of us since their days together as recruit and coach in the mid-1980s at Division III Pomona-Pitzer in Claremont, Calif. There was a bond built that remains to this day, a decade after Popovich's hard-wiring as a disciplinarian learned at the Air Force Academy, back when his foundation that has so much to do with the player-coach relationship was being formed.

As is so often the case with Popovich, it all began with a shared love of wine and basketball. Duque's father, Henry, shared a passion for Popovich's favorite pastimes, so he and his wife, Judy, became instant friends with their son's new coach. Some 30 years later, Popovich still checks in with them.

"When I graduated and (Popovich) left (for the NBA), he still continued to stay in touch with my mom and dad and with me as well," said Duque, who would only agree to be interviewed after receiving Popovich's permission. "He'll write handwritten notes to check in and see how they're doing and let them know how his life was. He still remembered who they were, even though he'd moved on to something bigger."

Duque, who coaches the varsity boys and girls teams at Webb School in Claremont, Calif., when he's not scouting his typical 15 or 20 games a season for the Spurs, also was part of a historical event of sorts: the day Popovich didn't try to win. Popovich, a former assistant under Larry Brown at Kansas, got a non-conference game between Pomona-Pitzer and the eventual national champion Jayhawks in 1987. But it came with the condition that Popovich's overmatched team didn't take the David vs. Goliath approach.

"The pregame talk (from Popovich) was about, 'Hey, guess what? We're going to lose, and we're going to have fun doing it,'" Duque recalled. "'And as far as (Kansas star) Danny Manning goes, if he's going for a dunk, no one tries to block it. If you have a chance to take a charge, you don't take a charge on him. We just let him go, because we want to get out of here.' "

They lost by some 50 points. But losing, it's safe to say, wouldn't be part of Popovich's legacy for long.

Game 3 in Memphis: Grizzlies vs. Spurs -- Marc Gasol (33) backs down Tiago Splitter during the first half. Despite a big game from Gasol, Memphis shot 39.2% from the field and 55.6% from the free-throw line.
Spruce Derden, USA TODAY Sports

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While Popovich will never sing his own praises, his record does: a .681 regular-season winning percentage, four titles, the NBA's longest tenure. Next longest: the Boston Celtics' Doc Rivers, at nine seasons. Over Popovich's 17 seasons, the other NBA clubs have averaged seven head coaches.

"He's actually, I think, a little more fiery now, if you can believe that," Duncan tells USA TODAY Sports. "Obviously he's been doing this for a long time, and I don't think his passion has changed. That's tough for the period of time that he's done it. And as I said, I think he's even more fired up now and wants it even more than he did before."

As Jerry West noted recently, the coaching tree that has sprouted from Popovich's success is as good an indication as any that he's rightfully revered. Among current NBA head coaches, the Cleveland Cavaliers' Mike Brown, the Orlando Magic's Jacque Vaughn, the New Orleans Pelicans' Monty Williams and Rivers played for Popovich.

Popovich took over full-time as Spurs coach in 1997.(Photo: Kevin Geil, AP)

The NBA's front offices are filled with executives with Spurs ties, too, among them the Oklahoma City Thunder's Sam Presti, the Atlanta Hawks' Danny Ferry, the Indiana Pacers' Kevin Pritchard, the Utah Jazz's Dennis Lindsey, the Magic's Rob Hennigan and the Pelicans' Dell Demps.

"I've always been one of his biggest fans, tremendously impressed with his interaction with the players, how he's not afraid to get on his better players. There's incredible respect in watching him," West said.

"There are three key elements that have been there. (The Spurs) brought in players that other people haven't thought have been that good and have been very, very good. They have people working with players that make them better. And a system. He's just a remarkable coach. You'd like to have a lot more coaches like him."

Six years after stopping a young LeBron James and his Cavaliers in the NBA Finals and winning a fourth championship in nine seasons, the aging Spurs have a chance to put quite the finishing touch on this remarkable era.

That championship drought has everything to do with the increased urgency and fire Duncan speaks of, knowing chances for a title don't come along as readily.

The Spurs learned that the hard way a year ago against the Thunder, when they were up 2-0 in the conference finals before dropping four in a row.

Popovich, more than anyone, understands this.

"The opportunity to go to the Finals and to win a championship is very rare," star point guard Tony Parker says. "He realizes that and has got that fire from last year, too."

Popovich is known for his blunt interviews.(Photo: Soobum Im, USA TODAY Sports)