Can’t decide if Roger Bernadina sounds like a park bench real estate agent or a telemarketer. Hey, this is Roger Bernadina– Hey, Roger, I’m in the middle of dinner. I’ll be quick. I just want to inform you that I’m hitting and stealing bases. Okay, is that it? There’s also this great timeshare in Santa Fe that I’d love for you to check out. Bernadina has been a top 20 fantasy producer for the last two weeks and top 15 for the last week. He has 25 steal speed (over a full year), so he can help you in that department even if the power tails off. The power is the odd thing here. He’s never shown this kind of power in the minors, but, at 26-years-old, maybe his power is just developing. It’s all neither here nor there at this point in the season. He’s hitting and should be owned. BTW, for the 3 people who got the title of this post, Eric Ripert thinks Bernadina’s a little fishy but you can’t be picky when it comes to 20/20 OFs. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Aroldis Chapman – Rumors suggest he throws 105 MPH. If I drove my high school car, a Hyundai, 105 MPH, it would’ve exploded. So if Aroldis could throw a Hyundai, he could make it explode. Eat some of that pretzel logic! Oh, and own Aroldis in keepers. He’ll be great until his arm falls off and then goes back to Cuba for their superior health care in Sicko II.

Carlos Carrasco – I’m actually a fan of Carrasco, but in September I have bigger fish to fry than starting an Indians pitcher who could blow up in my face. In AL-Only leagues, I’d start him reluctantly.

Jordan Zimmermann – His first start was the worst case scenario, his next start was the best case scenario. He’ll probably end up somewhere in the middle like Malcolm and Monie Love.

Xavier Nady – Not sure why the Cubs aren’t at least giving Hoffpauir a chance, but trying to understand the moves some major league teams make is like trying to understand a David Lynch film. Nady’s currently hitting and starting.

Matt Lindstrom – I’d own Lyon too, so this isn’t an either or scenario. It’s a play it by ear scenario, something Van Gogh wasn’t so good at.

Jhonny Peralta – When I looked up Peralta’s current stats, I noticed something. He’s earning $4.85 million this year. I understand paying millions of dollars to big name stars. Or at least I can understand the argument behind it. They fill the stands with fans. They sell jerseys, they make the club money, yadda3. When was the last time you ever heard anyone say, “I really want to go see Jhonny Peralta play?” I propose fans have a say in contract negotiations or arbitration. Every time a player is up for a new contract, the fans get 50% of the say in how much they should be paid. Imagine how differently a player would play if they had to win the fans’ love. You think they would hustle? Not throw balls at fans a’la Nyjer Morgan? Play even when they’re a little dinged up? Could players artificially inflate their salaries by kissing up to the fans? Sure, but what’s wrong with a little kissing up? Sycophant me! Anyway, without the shortstop eligibility, Peralta would be as necessary as that Silent H in his name, but he’s currently hitting.

Drew Stubbs – Stealing bases, though by the time you read this he may be back in one of his patented 0-for-45 slumps. His BBQ is still to die for.

Brad Hawpe – Don’t cha just love Hawpe?! No? Yeah, I don’t either. If you’re desperate for power, hire A-Rod’s cousin to track down all the players on your team and trip into them with a syringe. If that doesn’t work, grab Hawpe, but keep in mind he won’t start vs. lefties.

Michael Morse – The Pride of Ft. Lauderdale (unless you count all of their homegrown actors — Ft. Lauderdale aka “I Hardly Know Her Dale.”) has found a place for himself in the every day lineup and he’s hitting for power. I don’t think it lasts, but get in while the gettin’s good.

SELL

Alfredo Simon/Mike Gonzalez – Koji’s the closer, so unless you’re in dire need of saves, I’d lose these two schmohawks.

Adam Jones – This year he’s looked about as good as Jordan’s Hitler mustache and now he’s hurt.

Jason Kubel – Not sure what eggs you have in your outfield basket, but this egg’s got salmonella. And now he has a wrist issue. (BTW, I’m waiting for someone to name their daughter Salmonella. You know it’s coming.)

Ian Stewart – I wanted more from Mini-Mini Donkey, but I’ll continue to argue he wasn’t bad for a 2nd baseman. Now, he’s hurt and there’s no reason to wait around for him to return. I’m pouring out some MGD for MMD.

used to order stubbs sauce by mail .
past couple of years , the guys got his shizz in the major stores .
the hot stuff is just too damn hot , imo .
of course , my stomach’s not getting any younger , either .

What’s up w/ Nyger’s pending 7-game suspension? (Plus perhaps another for charging the mound Wednesday)
Have him in a weekly H2H league, so I feel I need to bench him for now. I sure am missing his speed, though.

I admit to not getting the title of the article. Not a big fan of those chef shows. I am, however, a fan of the Nutty Hairdresser! Possibly the most delusional cast member ever… at least since Sarah (Philly) who had an imaginary relationship with M.J. complete with flirting, dating, the honeymoon phase, trouble in paradise, breaking up, and finally becoming friends… all of which M.J. was neither aware of nor participated in.

So Nyjer Morgan received an 8 game suspension (in addition to the current 7 game suspension) but is appealing the decision, so he should be in the lineup until at least next Friday, when they will hear the appeals for both suspensions.

@Steve: I agree with many of his points, but I don’t dig the “honor of baseball” sort of schtick and think that the conclusion that MLB needs to teach teams when and how to hit a batter is a bit wacky. Dude might need an editor, too. Though I guess if you get hit by enough pitches you can be excused from knowing the difference difference between “except” and “accept” or “threw” and “through”.

johnny cueto left the team (today) to attend to some “serious family issues” .
no timetable was given for a return date .

ah , the lifestyles of the rich and famous .

my friend , don , was supposed to come over today for the start of the yankee/toronto game .
we only get one 2-3 hour window of opportunity per week (since his wife broke her ankle , last month) and this game fit into our plans just perfectly .

at game time he called … (“have a few chores to do , 1st”) from the cvs pharmacy …. less than a half mile from my house …. where he was standing in line with a box of tampons .

@Steve: Yep. So long as participants other than Morgan aren’t treated as blameless saints, I’m on board. A bunch of people made a bunch of stupid decisions. Fortunately, such decisions were highly entertaining, so I think MLB came out ahead! Or at least I did!

by Joe Capozzi
Lost in the drama of Wednesday’s Fight Night between the Marlins and Nationals was right-hander Leo Nunez, who pitched a scoreless eighth inning when the Marlins led 16-10.

That wasn’t to just give Nunez a little work in a blow out. Manager Edwin Rodriguez said Nunez will pitch earlier in games until he can re-gain confidence in his pitches, and Wednesday was his first day on the his new job.

Right-hander Clay Hensley will inherit the closer’s role. For now.

“I talked to Leo about it and we’re on the same page,” said Rodriguez, adding that Nunez confided in his manager that he has lost confidence in throwing his pitches for strikes.

Rodriguez said Nunez could be inserted back into the closer’s role as soon as next week, depending on his progress.”

This is a couple days late but the Borderline starters post has been really helpful. I love sorting through trash. Galaragga, Norris, or Masterson for a weekend start? I was gonna roll Wade D but someone just grabbed him. Doh! It’s a H2H and in this case I need a win worse then K’s or ratio’s…

@Grey: As Jason the poet (RW Boston) wrote, “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” Maybe it wasn’t him… could have been someone less famous.

Anyway, I just loved how in true Nutty Hairdresser style, he told ‘brother’ he’d decided to leave the house and he was so happy about it… after he’d been unanimously voted out and literally locked out of the house.

Out of Nady, Jennings and Hawpe…would you pick up any of these guys for allen, thames, berkman, or uribe? I don’t need runs but hr’s and rbi’s with at least some avg would help! one, two or all three? let me know who you’d dump…thanks.

Justin Smoak – I have him on my bench in my 20 team dynasty league – he came cheap as a free agent – what do you see from him next year or a few years down the road – am I wasting my time with him

Chase Headley been on my team all year – the key here was that he played not only 3B this year but I was able to use him in the outfield

To me it seems last year numbers and this years numbers were abut the same – losing faith in him – I think his parents are also losing faith in him – Not sure if his numbers will ever get better – at least he put up better numbers than Manny Ramírez

Carlos Quentin power numbers are weak – last time I listen to Miss Cleo on drafting a player in a dynasty league

Curtis Granderson – bought low on him

thanks for hours and hours and hours and minutes and seconds of good old baseball writing Grey

Jhonny Peralta – thats the biggest article I ever seen written on Jhonny Peralta

@GopherDay: Well, he pitched Sept. 1, which puts him on schedule to pitch again Monday, September 6, the last game of Syracuse’s season. I suppose they could skip his start and have him take over Olsen’s spot in the rotation (Olsen was terrible last time out). So I guess we just wait and see whether Syracuse pitches him Monday.

delmon young is riding my bench today and kemp is out of the lineup tonight. i need a spot start from someone, do you think its crazy to drop young? its the last 2 days of my league and im right on the edge of making the playoffs. young hasnt been that great this past month, im in a none keeper league.

@Grey: Yeah, that’s what I was leaning towards. I need to slow play this though, since it looks like I’ll get a 1st round bye next week. In 2nd place now, 1/2 game back and I need Erv to not win and Richards to win in SD…

In another corner of the clubhouse, Morrison was sporting a golfball-sized lump near his left eye. He said X-rays came back negative, that he felt fine and that he planned to fly to Philadelphia with the team for Monday’s series-opening doubleheader.

I am currently tied in OBP. I have Matt Kemp left and he has Aubrey Huff. Whoever wins the category wins first place and in my league regular season winner gets some money. I’m considering benching Kemp and betting that Huff doesn’t get on base twice (our OBP is currently .387). What do you think?

@Tom Emanski: Yeah, sitting him makes sense. Although, there’s a good chance Filthy strikes out 6 or more and could also pick up a win. In that case, even if you did lose in WHIP, you win in Ks & tie in Ws, and Freddy somehow scores 3 runs to tie, you’d still win 6-4-2. And if Filthy strikes out exactly 5 and everything else I just said stays the same, you’d still win 5-4-3. Where was I? Oh, yeah, just bench him.

@TheBravesWearPrado: Huff is struggling terribly lately, but Kemp is 9/20 with 3 BBs against Sanchez in his career and coming off a day of rest. I’d start Kemp, but I can see taking the passive route too.

@Razzballers and Grey: 16 team H2H…So I had Ordonez and Willingham in my OF, obviously both are done for the year. I luckily scooped up Andres Torres early enough, and have David Murphy, but with Cruz back from the DL I replaced Murphy with Burrell. Now Torres is slumping (at 32 years old, his season may be an anomole) and my outfield as a whole is my achilles heel. Should I replace either Torres or Burrell with a guy like Michael Morse? Our lineups are set weekly in this league, not daily, and I achieved a bye this week in the first round of our playoffs….so I need someone who plays pretty much everyday. Would you just roll with Torres and Burrell? Some guys available to pick up that would be my alternative to either of those 2 are:
Morse, Rajai Davis, Dexter Fowler, Tyler Colvin, Fukodome…..Is there a Sept. call-up who will play everyday that would be a better alternative? Need some playoff help…..THANKS….

@3FingersBrown: Wow. You couldn’t really do much else. I was up against a dead team too – led 11-0 or 12-0 for the last few days but got pulled back to 9-2 today. Still good enough for 2nd though and a first-round bye.

@Grey: Seems timely to say thanks for all the help thus far and to expect the tone of my comments to become more strident and desperate as I (hopefully) move through the playoffs…

Very true but I’d like to control at least one of those guys now since I have a slot open. None of those guys jump out at you? Wood would get 2 starts that week if he stays on a regular schedule. vs ARI and @ Hou.

Playoffs start tomorrow in my dynasty points league, and we start guys over a two week period. Do I bench either Span or Rasmus to keep Josh Hamilton in the lineup? If he’s out only a week, one week of Hamilton might be better than two of one of the other guys…but he might be out more, eh?

Turns out that Brian Wilson’s two K’s at the end of the Giants – Dodgers game earned me a 2nd place finish and a bye this week. Craziest finish I’ve seen!

So I moved C.Johnson for Morse, Uehara for Valverde and I prematurely dumped Thome so I could bring Slowey off of the DL – thinking I’d be playing this week – the opponent I thought I was playing has 14 starts this week, so I wanted to match up.

1) 16 Team H2H Keeper (keep 5, no other stipulations or requirements): I lost out on second place with a poor performance last week, so now I have to play today in the first round of the playoffs. I need some offense and I need it now. Here is my lineup:

I obviously need a replacement for Hamilton. I’m leaning towards dropping either Chacin or Chapman for Murphy and either the other guy or Peralta for Branyan because I need some pop. I wonder about Chapman because he will probably be the least helpful to my team down the stretch, but would be either a good keeper or good trade bait in the offseason. What do you think? Who gets the drop on ’em?

2) I’ve got Weeks on my bench and Kemp in my lineup in my 8 Team H2H Keeper. I’m not dropping Kemp regardless of how terrible he is. Who do you like more right now: Walker or Hill, and would you drop Weeks (if he’s just a sub) for either one?

Thanks man, and sorry for the long question. I hadn’t asked in awhile, so I guess I’m making up for lost time…

These yawning chasms of nothingness, punctuated by the (very) occasional homer binge do nothing to encourage one to get him into one’s line-up, thus leading to the nasty sonavabenching that one is enduring today.

@Steve: I think it would be reasonable to expect a good week from Stanton. He’s been an extreme Road Scholar so far this year (the part of me that prefers a good story thinks that he’s young and perhaps is more effected by the stress of high expectations at home): .581 OPS at home, .938 on the road.

Wait, he wouldn’t even be able to get in the clubs- isn’t he 20? He’ll have to go to the 18 and over clubs (where they don’t serve alcohol), which I think are universally lame. But I guess then he’d be sober and well rested.

Last year 16 players reached 20/20. So far this year, 4 have: Rios, Hanley, C. Young, and Car-Go. There are several players who have a good shot at making it (Pence, Kemp, Wright, etc.) but we certainly won’t see 16 again. Just curious if this makes the ole slam and legs potentially more valuable going into next year?