Will Somebody Please Teach Trump How to Shake Hands Like a Human

Step one: Extend hand. Step two: Grasp the outstretched hand of the person in front of you. Step three: Grip firmly, but not too firmly, and shake for approximately five seconds. Step four: Even if you ignore these very simple instructions, just make sure to do the exact opposite of whatever it was Donald Trump was doing when he shook the French president’s hand for what felt like an eternity — actually 25 seconds — earlier Friday as he was wrapping up his trip to France. (The same trip during which he told the French First Lady Brigitte Macron she was in “such good shape.”)