Great girl and we all love the Rocket. I have to ask why is she sitting in a fireplace? The background is a fleshy tone and besides looking uncomfortable there's no contrast to highlight the babe. Just saying, otherwise a fab set.

Great girl and we all love the Rocket. I have to ask why is she sitting in a fireplace? The background is a fleshy tone and besides looking uncomfortable there's no contrast to highlight the babe. Just saying, otherwise a fab set.

OK, mate. So here’s the deal. What must you do to get Chad’s job? As it turns out the answer is quite simple: submit an application at your local McDonald’s restaurant then slit the tires on his piece of shit car so he can’t show up for his next scheduled shift. He’ll get fired and you’ll be his replacement. Done! Alright, so maybe the “inside scoop” I’m proposing is actually just a fabricated scenario that continually plays out within the confines of my own grey matter but you gotta admit, from our perspective it’s ideal (well, except for the part where you’d have to work for shitty burger joint). Now anyone who may be offended by my suggestion, i.e. that exclusive assembly of so called male porn “stars”, if there really is such a thing, is the victim of his own fabrication of reality. Additionally, should there exist some naïve soul who subscribes to the notion that this mindless chode- er, Chad, (whatever) is getting paid to be a sweaty dildo with a pulse then perhaps he or she deserves a fate that includes an illustrious and lifelong career flipping burgers for an overrated fast food chain. Picture this, if you will: you are approached by an obviously respectable individual who invites you into his abode with a proposal. Once inside you find a couch or bed upon which is perched a smiling and naked Nella, Janet, Holly, Joanne, Liv or Trisha (I like to start with some of the classics; feel free to substitute whomever). After you’ve picked your jaw up from the floor and returned it to its proper location you are kindly instructed to have your way with any or all of these gorgeous representations of the female gender whilst the camera is rolling. Oh, but wait, once you’ve finished, make sure to stop by our disbursing office to receive your handsome paycheck. This- I can’t- there’s no way… it’s just not possible. Every time I try to conceptualize it my head literally throbs as if someone justifiably struck me with a three pound ballpeen hammer. “Oh, hey, now!” one might proclaim. “These guys work hard to promote the one aspect that’s been conspicuously absent from this particular corner of the industry for too long now”. Perhaps, in the strictest and all-inclusive politically correct sense someone could get away with incorporating that assertion in their campaign speech. But as a not-so-casual observer, I feel it’s my responsibility to bluntly point out that this is “All Ladies Shaved”; “All LADIES Shaved”. That having been said, anything else that happens to clumsily migrate into my field of view is nothing more than a lowly prop.

“…Okey-Dokey, Mister, uh, White is it? Says here under employment history you once worked in the adult film industry?”
“Yes, that’s correct”.
“So… you were a director?”
“Oh, no, not exactly.”
“Ah, a cameraman.”
“Um, no.”
“Camera assistant?”
“Nah.”
“Gaffer?
“Nope.”
“Costume designer? Grip? Lighting supervisor?”
“Neh.”
“Makeup artist? PA? Editor?
“None of the above.”
“Ok, so help me out, here. I’m a little confused.”
“I was an actor.”
“Wha- an actor, you say? (burst of laughter accompanied by an exaggerated eye roll) As a male in the porn industry? You mean you were a prop.”
“Uh… yeah… I was a prop. My mom says I was a dildo, you know… with a pulse.”
“Yeah, that’s uh, eh-hmm… Ok, so I don’t want to sound condescending and I appreciate your taking an interest in applying for a position here at McDonald’s. But we are really looking for people with genuine experience who are capable of displaying a professional attitude. I noticed in your resume that instead of a headshot, you’ve included a photo of yourself shoving a fistful of marker pens into your ass. I keep hearing about a studio not far from here that shoots Christian ‘how-to’ videos. Maybe they can help you out.”

…I must commend you on your taste, my friend. This fine young lady possesses a myriad of qualities that makes her stand out amongst a well-established throng of otherwise captivating sirens. Brunette? (‘check’), lovely brown eyes? (‘check’), charming smile? (‘check’), and the freckles? (Oh, the freckles!). However take note, if you will, and I don’t mean to distract from the aforementioned traits, but from the chin down she exhibits quite an astonishing amount of symmetry that I believe places her into a category of her own. I’m even capable of dismissing that nonsense she has inflicted upon her natural beauty that resides just above her left ankle (“why?” I ask. But that’s yet another discussion). On a personal note, Trista, you are an absolute benchmark which many others should strive to emulate. To put it succinctly… GOD DAMN, YOU’RE HOT!!! Hope life’s treated you well. And Pinkbits, I might have an angle on the query you posted regarding Chad’s job. I’ll get back to you after I do a bit of fact-finding. This could prove to be a delicate matter, indeed.