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Topic: Invisible's Strength Post (Read 9691 times)

cocobars

I'm worried about Invisible. I know she's very depressed and needs so much support right now. I sent her a PM, knowing that would notify her and she wrote back that she is depressed. She has every reason to feel the way she does! I hope she's feeling better soon but would like to have a special post for her that she can check when she comes through.

She has had to listen to people telling her she is unlovable and now her GD has started. She has already lost her son, but this from her GD? She needs us. I would like to let her know how truly loved and beautiful she is. Somebody needs to tell her. I think we could be that "somebody" here. I hope she has other "somebodies" too! God knows she needs them...

Invisible, please check your posts! We're here for you, even if you feel so weak right now! Talk to us too! Even if we don't have the answers, we have the love and support waiting for you!

When I went down for the count after my son's death and his wife's (widow's) attack, the only thing that helped me was to know that I was fine before he was born, grew up (?) and married her...and I had once had a full life without either of them. With that in mind, I started to experience my life as full instead of empty and eventually, not overnight, that became real for me.

That may not help you...we are all so different.

I am sending all kinds of love and caring and "pings"...heart-to-heart.

Invisible

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for caring and expressing your care to give me strength. I do feel better knowing all of you emotionally support me.

I am depressed about the situation. I would be a cold and insensitive person if I weren't depressed. The loss of my only child has broken my heart beyond comprehension. The problem has been compounded by the hate overtly expressed towards me by my DIL. I know she has mental problems but that does not make the words or actions hurt less. She did not love my son and she wants nothing to do with me. I understand.

In this situation everyone looses. But my GD will suffer the most. What a shame.

Luise.volta your words ring true. I must learn to fulfill my life without my son or GD. As a young girl I was pregnant with my son. We grew up together. Losing him I lost my past, present and future. As my son would have said, " It is what it is." Thank you again for caring.

When I went down for the count after my son's death and his wife's (widow's) attack, the only thing that helped me was to know that I was fine before he was born, grew up (?) and married her...and I had once had a full life without either of them. With that in mind, I started to experience my life as full instead of empty and eventually, not overnight, that became real for me.

That may not help you...we are all so different.

I am sending all kinds of love and caring and "pings"...heart-to-heart.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for caring and expressing your care to give me strength. I do feel better knowing all of you emotionally support me.

I am depressed about the situation. I would be a cold and insensitive person if I weren't depressed. The loss of my only child has broken my heart beyond comprehension. The problem has been compounded by the hate overtly expressed towards me by my DIL. I know she has mental problems but that does not make the words or actions hurt less. She did not love my son and she wants nothing to do with me. I understand.

In this situation everyone looses. But my GD will suffer the most. What a shame.

Luise.volta your words ring true. I must learn to fulfill my life without my son or GD. As a young girl I was pregnant with my son. We grew up together. Losing him I lost my past, present and future. As my son would have said, " It is what it is." Thank you again for caring.

Invisible,Your situation has been so difficult for you to live through. Having your son while you were young really would make you feel as if you are losing your past and your present.

It doesn't have to mean losing your future, even though I know right now you feel it's gone... You still have a full life ahead of you and I believe your son is able to smile on your life (and your GD's) from where he is right now. None of us knows what the future has in store for us. I've had so many unusual experiences that I have based my belief's on. I know not everyone has the same belief's I do, and they can be hard to hold onto when life gets in the way and something takes your breath away like this.

What I'm trying to say is that I pray for you each day and believe you have alot of life out there waiting for you! I believe God, or your son (loved ones), guardian angels or anyone from the other side sometimes reaches out on our behalf here and makes our lives better. It never seems like it when you are walking through that darkness and feeling so alone. I have never suffered the loss of my child, and can't begin to understand how what you have experienced has so deeply hurt you. I can only imagine, because it was my biggest fear as a parent! I hope you come to a place where you can see yourself as a survivor and can look ahead to that future, because I believe you have a very bright one. You are truly one of my hero's and I want you to find a wonderful future! I believe that son of yours is smiling down on you and his daughter, and all will be well for you both and if you truly look (watch) for signs you will find that to be true.

The future is something nobody can take away from you. NOBODY. It's something you can create if you can start dreaming for yourself. I believe you have reached a place where you care enough for yourself to start looking there and stop believing you have lost that "future." After all, I lost my future three years ago, and I'm still here. Not through the loss of a child, but it was devastating and paralyzing to me, along with other things that had happened at the same time.

I always felt such a connection with you. What you don't know about me is that I truly had lost everything too. Three years later may seem like too long to some, but each of us takes our own time healing. I haven't spoken about everything here because some of it is just too painful even now, but what I can say is that you have to give yourself time - time is the best healer. So many people don't understand that - but they don't have to know. You know why - because they are not you!

I am so proud of you! You remind me of something, a quote that I thought related to me also. I keep this on my bathroom mirror to remind me of who I am and where I'm going. It's a pretty simple little saying, but explains so much to me that my own future is still there and waiting for me to make it my own, yes even at my age. LOL!:

Just when the caterpillarthought the world was over,it became a butterfly!

Silly, huh! You find that thing that puts hope in your heart again, and start building from there! I believe there is a butterfly coming out of all this! I really do...

I hope you come back and find this. I know it's corny to some, and I am corney to some, but you have to look inside yourself, search outside yourself for signs and find the answers that are right for you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks...

Some of us walk through nightmares that others can't imagine or survive. I believe you can. If I can with my little life, then I know it's possible for someone like you! You are a hero, no matter what and your heart will tell you that someday! Well, besides me telling you that! You are my hero!

« Last Edit: February 07, 2010, 02:20:33 PM by cocobars »

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Marilyn

Invisible,extending heart felt sympathy.I'm a newbe, so i don't know your whole situation.I can't imagine how unbearable the pain and heart ache is for you.But I'm sure this web site is one of Gods way of helping you cope.Coco writes so beautiful,what she wrote is so true.The women here amaze me,so much compassion and support.Have you ever read, The Shack....by Wm Paul young, It's about God,and coping with the loss of a loved one.I loved it,and know a lot of people who felt the same way.

I'll keep you in my prayers,hoping you come back soon

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Marilyn

Invisible,just another thought.......we feel the way we think,look at what Luise wrote again.When she kept looking at her self the way she was,it became real for her.Your not unloving or invisible.Your "Incredable" how about changing your name from invisible to Incredable,because i know your going to be an Incredable role model for your GD,just a suggestion.

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cocobars

Invisible,just another thought.......we feel the way we think,look at what Luise wrote again.When she kept looking at her self the way she was,it became real for her.Your not unloving or invisible.Your "Incredable" how about changing your name from invisible to Incredable,because i know your going to be an Incredable role model for your GD,just a suggestion.

I'm so happy we have such compassionare women here! And yes, she is incredible. I hope she does..

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Hope

Dear Invisible (I MEAN INCREDIBLE),I'm even a newer newbie than Mominwaiting so I wasn't familiar with your story. When I read your post, my eyes teared up and my heart broke. I can tell that you are a special woman with so much to offer - you deserve to be in relationships with loving people and it hurts me to know that your dil doesn't fit the bill - to put it lightly. I can feel your pain on so many levels. I agree with these wise women and I just know your future has some sunshine and rainbows in store for you. Simply put, time does heal. I hope you can feel my love and hugs, dear one.

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cocobars

Dear Invisible (I MEAN INCREDIBLE),I'm even a newer newbie than Mominwaiting so I wasn't familiar with your story. When I read your post, my eyes teared up and my heart broke. I can tell that you are a special woman with so much to offer - you deserve to be in relationships with loving people and it hurts me to know that your dil doesn't fit the bill - to put it lightly. I can feel your pain on so many levels. I agree with these wise women and I just know your future has some sunshine and rainbows in store for you. Simply put, time does heal. I hope you can feel my love and hugs, dear one.

Well, Hope! You have chosen a fitting name! You definately belong here with your large heart!

I like how you started your post! You have put value where it belongs and we are so honored to have to here!

I've seen invisible fluttering around talking on posts. I think she will be back as a butterfly in time! She has that heart, you know, of a butterfly!