Kim Kardashian: Officially More Annoying than Snooki AND Lindsay Lohan

Not that we needed a prestigious magazine survey to tell us this…

Kim Kardashian is officially the most annoying celebrity in existence. It’s not that I love to spread hate about her it’s just that I’m so glad I’m not the only one who finds that high-pitched whine pretty much equivalent to fingernails on a chalkboard!

According to recent ratings by Parade magazine, 29% of survey participants ranked Kim “Most Annoying.” Charlie Sheen was almost a winner, as he raked in 27% of the vote. Other celebs on the ballot? Snooki, Lindsay Lohan, Donald Trump, and
Brad Womack.

Seriously, when you’re generally thought to be more irritating than a man in the midst of a public and possibly psychotic break, a dim-witted alcoholic, a kleptomaniac/drug addict/trainwreck, a wealthy toupee, and a guy most of us haven’t even heard of, you KNOW there’s something wrong with your life. And by wrong, I mean in the as-yet uncharted territory of “unbelievably, unparalleled, messed up beyond all repair.”

Perhaps had the vote been a few months earlier, the results would’ve gone differently, but the “I don’t give a crap” sentiment surrounding the most famous Kardashian celebutante has been magnified beyond belief by her recent wedding to pro basketball player Kris Humphries, who, incidentally, was recently called out as an “absolute jerk” by his previous teammates.

This match made in celebrity hell has been all over the media, to the point where you can’t even stand in a grocery store line without seeing either her butt, her face, or her bikini-clad self wrapped around her
Stretch-Armstrong hubby. Really, the mere mention of the Kardashian name makes
most normal people want to vomit. I mean, props to her PR folks, but wow.

Now, kids, there’s not a lot to glean from a woman who’s made a career of being vapid on the small screen, but here’s your real-world lesson for the day, however small it may be: strive constantly to speak in a voice that doesn’t resemble a whine, to always behave better than a starlet on drugs (literally), and to always, always, ALWAYS keep it classier than a guido Cheeto with a busted weave.

Emmie Scott is an English major-turned-marketing exec, with a passion for writing, humor, sharing knowledge, and "pink drinks." After hours, she started Are Toe Rings Professional Attire?, a blog for college grads and twenty-somethings looking to find their way through that daunting labyrinth called…