Forcing Choice or Focus Doesn’t Work.

Maybe, I’ve been watching too much Grace and Frankie on Netflix. Maybe I’m homesick but don’t know which home I miss. (I hate that the computer is the only place all of my loved ones exist at the same time, floating on Cloud.) I am tired of “maybe” in my life.

Maybe, we could live in Mexico full time.

Maybe my husband and I could be limited enough that we won’t be able to move at all.

Maybe I could write a book that contributes to developing damn good leaders and wonderfully productive, vital workplaces that are good for customers and the people who serve them.

Maybe I could write a memoir. I have had an interesting life, funny and poignant. People are always telling me I should write about my live when I tell them a story that a conversation triggered for me.

Maybe I could read my self to death—until death. Every moment reading a book is worth it.

Maybe I could devote myself to grandchildren, far and wide and give that piece of impact to the world.

Maybe, I could work harder to disseminate I PRAY ANYWAY: Devotions for the Ambivalent (with it’s guidebook coming out in April) and do some good and help soothe souls that are aching.

Maybe I could focus on enjoyment only or on making my health a full time job.

I wrote the above yesterday. I was turning possibilities into a burden. Today, I find it embarrassing.The list is one of wonderful options. I was trying to make myself choose and choice is always involves a ‘yes’ and a ‘no’. I was assuming my timeline to create and produce was limited. It could be. But what I say to clients is, “Let the universe say ‘no’ to guide you, but never say ‘no’ to yourself.

I was trying to make myself say “no”. . Here’s what shook me out of this stance. My soon to be 83 year old husband just published his first column in the San Miguel newspaper, La Atencion. The title is Old and Joyous. It will be a bi-weekly article. He says, “yes”.

Speaking truth always helps and this blog is dedicated to TRUTH Burps. What is my truth now? “Clarity will come. Keep talking. Keep moving in many and all directions. You are exploring while producing. Congratulate yourself. Onward.” Think I will let go of forcing focus and choice and, as a friend said to me, “Let it simmer.” Thanks Carol.