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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Entries in Beyond Bizarre
(207)

A select few of you have virtually met Anne-Marie, my Wrecksistant-Extraordinaire. Since I technically still have a "day job", she helps me and John with comment moderation and handles the bulk of the e-mailed submissions, in addition to having a full-time job of her own. Anne-Marie is one of those rare individuals who is hysterically funny both in writing AND in person, which I know first-hand 'cuz she's also my sister-in-law. (Yeah, I'm lucky like that.)

I realized recently that I was greatly under utilizing Anne-Marie's powers for good when she reduced me to helpless giggles with an e-mail extolling the virtues of actually turning the oven ON when cooking a Christmas ham. It was then that I knew hers was a talent that must be shared. So, without further ado, I give you: Anne-Marie! Take it, Ree!

With the college football Bowl Championship Series behind us, and the Super Bowl looming ahead, the nation's bakeries are hard at work, providing us with an overabundance of sporty buttercreaminess.

Clancy R. shows us what happens when bakers with too much time on their hands play a game of WreckeratorPictionary...

Sheldon: "It's a Dutch Oven!"

Walter: "No, you guys... wait, lemme write something on it..."

The other team: "Whoa! You can't write anything - just draw!"

Walter: "Too late... any guesses?"

Sheldon: "Uhh, a Dutch Oven full of sugar?"

Walter: [facepalm]

Amy G. found this gem:

Quick!

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the OklahomaSooners?

Time's up!

How many of you thought of a disembodied torso in a full-coverage 42 DD Playtex Eighteen-Hour Bra?

Nobody?

And finally, the Steelers were playing the day this was made, hence the black and yellow:

It is supposed to be read as “Go D-fence” (as in ‘go defense’ – see the little fence after it?), but to me and alert Wreckporter Noelle C, it says only one thing:

The Almighty is a Steelers fan.

Many thanks to Anne-Marie for pulling up the slack in the sports arena here on Wrecks. (Yep, she actually had to tell me it was football season.) Y'all be nice to her, now, or else your e-mails just may never see the light of day.

LIFE and Google teamed up not too long ago to create a nifty online photo database of LIFE photographs, 97% of which were never previously released to the public. It's really fascinating stuff, and I highly recommend you do a search for "cake" there the next time you're bored. Most are gorgeous creations that show that cake art has a long and rich history, but a few are a bit more...interesting:

Good to know that handwriting and spacing were an issue even back in 1951. It only looks misspelled, though; that's just a scrunched 'm' in 'recommissioned'.

This one is just odd:

What IS this? Do you suppose it's made of large donuts? And the ferns - why?(UPDATE: Mystery solved : it's a "baumkuchen". Thanks, guys!)

You'll "tank" me for this next one:

See, this is why you don't let guys cut the cake. The archive is full of men cutting cakes with swords, too. [eye roll] Fellas, it's a TANK. Do you really need to "man it up" by cutting it with your rifle?

This one is actually a "dog cake", but I had to include it for the "oh-no-they-di'in't!" factor (Note: put down the coffee and brace yourself):

[dry-heaving] Why? Why did someone feel THIS was deserving of preservation on film? WHY?!?

And finally, a modern-day Wreck:

"Oprah? Is that you?"

All images courtesy of the LIFE photo archive. Thanks to Becca B. for finding Oprah's head and Jessica T. for the doggie Wreck.