Interviewer: In 1974, President Richard M. Nixon was forced to resign in shame following the 'Watergate' Scandal. One of the great mysteries of this event was the identity of 'Deep Throat', the person who broke the story to Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein. Well tonight, we're going to find out. Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein, good evening.

Bob Woodward: Good evening.

Carl Bernstein: Good evening.

Interviewer: Let's get straight to it - who is... 'Deep Throat'?

Bob Woodward: Well, first of all, we're not telling you. And second of all, I thought I was going to be the only guest on tonight's show?

Carl Bernstein: [Bitchy] Well I guess you're not, Bob.

Interviewer: You know, you guys are getting pretty old now...

Carl Bernstein: Well, what do you mean by that?!

Interviewer: Well, I was just wondering if you were ever going to reveal who Deep Throat is ever, before you die.

Bob Woodward: Well, a lot bigger names than you have asked us that, so I don't think we're going to reveal it here.

Carl Bernstein: No, not on a little show like this.

Interviewer: [Exasperated] You know what I think? I mean, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I don't think there ever was any such person as 'Deep Throat'. I think y'all just made it up.

Carl Bernstein: Yes there was! Deep Throat was -

Bob Woodward: Don't say it!! He's trying to trick us!

[Bernstein covers his mouth and moans]

Carl Bernstein: [Putting a hand on Woodward's shoulder] I'm sorry...

Bob Woodward: [Slapping the hand away] Don't ever touch me.

Carl Bernstein: Bob, I said I'm sorry!

[They begin to have a childish physical fight]

Bob Woodward: Don't... will you... you smell like cabbage!

[They fall over the table; the clip cuts out and the movie opens]

[Arlene and Betsy accidentally meet G. Gordon Liddy again in the White House]

G. Gordon Liddy: Young lady, I am a very busy man...

Betsy: Hey, you look familiar. Have I seen you before?

[Liddy recognises them; his eyes widen]

Betsy: Are you that guy that sells corn dogs at the mall?

G. Gordon Liddy: As far as you are concerned, young lady, I have no identity. In fact, [sinister] I'm not even here...

[He hurries off]

Betsy: He's way weirder than corndog guy.

[When Nixon offers the girls the post of 'White House Dog Walkers]

John Ehrlichman: What's going on? Who are these girls?

Henry Kissinger: I dunno. But it doesn't look constitutional to me.

Arlene Lorenzo: How dare those people treat us like we're stupid teenage girls.

Betsy Jobs: We are stupid teenage girls.

Arlene Lorenzo: No. We're human beings, and we're American citizens. And four score and seven years ago our forefathers... did something. I don't know what. But I do know one thing - Dick's ass is grass!