Euro 2016 Mascot Shares Its Name With a Giant Dildo

Everyone knows that the first thing you do when naming a new product is to look it up on the internet to make sure it doesn't mean something rude in another language or is a brand of massive vibrating black penis; a step in the process apparently missed by those responsible for naming the Euro 2016 mascot Super Victor.

Any parent sticking Super Victor into Google in the hope of finding images of the wide-eyed, idealised, racially pure, football-liking boy are in for a shock, though, as the US branch of Amazon just so happens to sell a 10-inch black vibrator also named the Super Victor -- although in this case it's been given the full name of the Super Victor 10 inch 25cm Silicon Dildo.

UEFA says the "Super" part of the name actually comes from the boy having footballing superpowers gained from a magic cape, while "Victor" is obviously used to reference the concept of victory -- something alien to any UK-based footballing fans under the age of about 58 -- and actually has nothing to do with the big, black, vibrating penis.