What would happen if one man was challenged to shoot five individual sex scenes (and five loads of cum) in twelve hours with five of porn’s biggest stars?

Find out as POPPORN brings you along for the ride as they film a porn movie like no other. Starring Alexis Texas, Kagney Linn Karter, Charley Chase, April O’Neil, and Cherry Torn, watch as Anthony Rosano not only attempts this sexual feat, but also tries to memorize and perform some of the most hilarious porno dialogue you’ll ever see.

Hosted by POPPORN’s Spock Buckton, POPPORN’s Man Vs. Pussy will take one man and pit him against five vaginas in twelve hours. Can he do it? Could you? [text copy-edited slightly; nothing I could do about the run-on sentences though]

Oh. My. God.

Just let that sink in… not only does Anthony Rosano have to do his regular job of being a porn performer (which is not easy), he has to do it five times – from beginning to end, from learning his lines to getting comfortable with his partner, to doing some acting and following that up with some fucking, to actually “finishing.”

2. All five scenes must be completed within twelve hours – also, got it

3. If he fails, a stand-in will complete Anthony’s scenes – Marco “10 women in 3 hours” Banderas is on hand with an entire camera crew from Canal Plus just in case

4. If he fails, Anthony must face the camera and exclaim “I am a loser!!” to his audience – he’s a “loser” – seriously, a loser – if he can’t do this??

5. Ridicule is encouraged – so they’re gonna try to mess him up??

Yes.

Let’s begin, shall we?

Scene #1: Anthony, in some sort of “pizza accent,” faces an angry Kagney Linn Karter (she’s been waiting for pizza for three hours!!).

Scene #2: very poor English speaking ESL teacher Anthony must impart some new vocabulary on his pupil, April O’Neil. In a different accent from the one used in Scene #1, Anthony delivers the best line that has been uttered in any film ever – “I will teach you English with my cock.”

Scene #3: Anthony, now speaking with a “drunk accent,” is partying alone in a hotel room. He is wearing a chicken suit. Officer Charley Chase comes in to ruffle his feathers.

Scene #4: Anthony has sex with fetish/BDSM model Cherry Torn. This is the only woman he didn’t know before Man Vs. Pussy. For whatever reason, my dvd player wasn’t happy with this scene, so I don’t know exactly what happened.

Scene #5: tennis instructor Anthony, who is now speaking in some sort of leprechaun accent, casts a spell on tennis angel Alexis Texas.

(pictured: adorable!!)

There is no way to describe the agony and the ecstasy and the intense drama that is watching Anthony struggle – and I mean struggle something fierce at points – through this challenge. It was the most nail-biting, heart-stopping, and occasionally near-tears experience I have had in a very long time. And I confess it: I laughed my ass off, too.

…and it’s not just me!! Fleshbot reviewer Ottimo Massimo was equally impressed with Man Vs. Pussy. Aside from offering a really detailed description of Anthony’s journey (here), he had this to say about the three hour movie: “This is one of the funniest things ever produced by the adult industry, it has some of my favorite people in it, and it deserves a place of honor on the shelf of every porn consumer in America.”

Dang!!

But you may be wondering… Aside from the obvious creativity and humor, why did I like Man Vs Pussy so much? Because although I totally agree with Ottimo’s and others’ positive reviews of this film, I thought there was even more to it. These are a couple of things Man Vs. Pussy made me think about:

Intimacy (??): Now when I said earlier that this film was “even” hott, like I was surprised… well, that’s because I was!! The sex in this film is not presented like typical porn sex (even gonzo) – you see all the bts, including awkward position changes, instructions from the directors, etc etc, and the scenes run through from beginning to end (no editing)… not too hott or sexy if you’re looking for standard porno-stylings, but in Man Vs. Pussy you do get to see the real connections that occur between scene partners (some more than others). This is where the hottness comes in. Scene #2 between Anthony and April O’Neil was particularly good in this respect.

Imagine you are Anthony Rosano. You are already well-known and well-respected at a job that only a handful of men can ever even begin to think about succeeding at (be honest…), and you’re considered to be somewhat of a go-to character actor in an industry filled with folks who are not necessarily known for their acting chops.

One day, some producer approaches you with this challenge, and tells you you are loser – a loser – if you can’t amp up your performance by 500 percent in one day… Imagine the pressure!!

Imagine it.

(pictured: too funny for words!!)

The entire time I was watching Man Vs. Pussy I was wondering why in the world would Anthony agree to this project in the first place. And I was wondering about masculinity and hegemony and heterosexual ideologies and every possible interaction and intersection amongst and between. What does this movie say about masculinity? And what impact will it have on men, adult performers and otherwise, who watch it?

[*SPOILER* — And after the film ended, I was wondering… who the hell will agree to perform in Man Vs. Pussy Part 2?? Because this is supposed to be a series, and Anthony succeeded… What kind of “mega loser” would another man be if he failed?]

Camaraderie: At the beginning of the film, it seemed like everyone behind the project was doing everything they could do to ensure Anthony failed – messing with his head, coaching the girls to mess with his head, making bets against him, etc etc. But as time passed, everyone switched gears and seemed more inclined to encourage and support Anthony on his epic quest… why?

Was it because they wanted to make sure they got the production out of him? Or was it because they began to realize the impossibility of what he was about to potentially do? Something else? Regardless, folks began to rally around Anthony as the scenes progressed, and this made me wonder about camaraderie… hmmm

But enough of my gender socio-isms!! In sum, Man Vs Pussy was incredible. There was so much going on in this movie/project on so many levels that there is no way I could ever begin to touch on them all… so you’re just gonna have to watch this film for yourself.

Trust me – it’s worth it.

Recommended for: everyone!! If you are looking for sex, it’s here; if you are looking for a behind-the-scenes porn production peek, it’s here; if you are looking for humanity and/or if you have ever wanted an idea of what a man porn performer must go through on a set, it’s here. This is anthropology and sociology all at once. And it’s also porn, and it’s also funny. Man Vs. Pussy is amazing.