Friday, May 25, 2007

I wish Call My Bluff was still going. One day I think it will return. It's been away and come back before. When I'm a proper old man I'd like to spend some years being a team captain on Call My Bluff. It seems like the perfect job for a man of senior years. Not that anyone will best the Muir/Marshall or Coren/Toksvig axes both of which were sublime. Rod Liddle? Sorry. That just wasn't right.

Bearing this in mind you can probably imagine how delighted I was to be asked to write a foreword to a collection of the Observer's Everyman cryptic crosswords. Truly.

In their previous collections the forewords have been written by the acting greats, Prunella Scales and Timothy West and I think it was about time they looked outside their marital home. It amuses me to have done it because, well, because I don't think people probably regard it as the kind of thing someone of my generation should be doing. I'm sure a huge proportion of people who buy the book won't have a clue who I am but every now and then, someone is going to pick it up, see my name and think, 'What? Him? The ill-defined comic and story-teller chap who vainly doesn't like it when people think he's a stand-up? What an odd choice.' And really that's reason enough for doing it.

And if I'm wrong and people see it and think, 'Of course... that's exactly the kind of thing I'd expect him to do' well that's okay too. Because somehow, I think that every time someone thinks that, I get a little bit closer to my goal of the Call My Bluff team captaincy-pension plan.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

This afternoon I scored a goal at a Premiership football ground. It wasn't against a Premiership team and we weren't playing on a full size pitch but then that's not really important. What's important is that I. Scored. A. Goal. At. West. Ham.

Soccer six was a ridiculously enjoyable day out and while it's a charity event and nobody takes the games too seriously... it's impossible not to get competitive. Our team failed to qualify from our 4-team group - notching up a (disputed) 1-1 draw, a (luckless (honest)) 4-2 loss and a (should have done better) 3-1 win. To a man I think we all really wanted to get through if for no other reason than we wanted to play some more. Normally when I play on grass the pitch looks like it's been recently ploughed so there's a real joy in playing on such an amazing surface... I think everyone finds their passing-game is improved when the ball stays true on the turf. Maybe if our whole squad had turned up - we were without former pro Mickey Thomas for a start - it would have been different. Heigh and indeed ho.

Delighted to have been there, gutted to have gone out when we did. It was a nice goal though.�

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I'm very much looking forward to this weekend... because I'm going to be playing football at West Ham Utd. I'm taking part in the Soccer Six event which is raising money for Samaritans. Some people who are very close to me used to volunteer for Samaritans so I know how valuable a service they provide and how much support they need. But let's not pretend that the charity is uppermost in my mind... the truth is I'm just very excited to put my boots on and play at a Premiership ground. Which it still is. Just.

I'm not quite sure how I came to be invited to play what with not being a proper celeb and, in particular, not being in a band as they seem to make up the majority of the teams. If you're in a band I guess that's your team selection sorted while I'm playing in a team with a few other bandless folks, like Angus Deayton and Oliver Skeet. Should be fun. If you want to come along and cheer us on (as well as Razorlight, Babyshambles or whoever) you can get tickets from TicketMaster or by calling 0870 534 4444. Should be

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Saturday, May 5, 2007

The recording dates for the next series of Genius have been sorted which means that tickets are now available. We'll record three episodes in June (11th, 14th & 18th) and another three in July (2nd, 6th & 11th) and they'll all be in central London. You can find the details and get tickets - which are free - here, although if you're on my mailing list you'll already know that.