Oops, excuse us, Instant Message from SFREUD@otherside.com: It is my expert opinion that when a man spells out the name of his sweetie to a reporter, it is a sign that he is really into her.

Our reply: Interesting turn of phrase, Dr. Freud. Have you perhaps read the best-seller ''He's Just Not That Into You''?

Freud: Loved it. Great title! And I would like to offer one additional insight. When a fellow who's been sleeping next to you wakes up, tells you he's been dreaming every night of his old girlfriend, SONIA, and that he still loves Sonia, and that he would like to borrow all the money you have in the bank to take a taxi to Sonia's house and on the way stop and buy Sonia a really nice present, he is not that into you.

''After Ashley'' stars KIERAN CULKIN as a young man whose mother's death is exploited the media. ANNA PAQUIN plays a friend.

Among those in the opening-night crowd were DANIEL SUNJATA, who got naked in ''Take Me Out'' and KATHRYN ERBE, of ''Law & Order: Criminal Intent,'' who is married to the play's director, TERRY KINNEY.

We also saw Mr. Culkin's older brother, MacCAULEY. ''I'm here for SPORT,'' he said, referring to his brother. ''He's fantastic. The role was made for him.'' He laughed loudly as his little brother delivered some very funny lines. At intermission, he ran out into the snowy night and returned with a dozen roses for him.

So Now He Thinks He Can Remember?

ELIZABETH TAYLOR, celebrating her 73rd birthday, went into the ELTON JOHN AIDS Foundation party in a wheelchair on Sunday night. But she walked the entire press line at the West Hollywood party on foot.

And if she looked a bit frail, her mood was cheery as she told reporters that she just wanted to prove to everyone she was alive and well.

Her arrival was appropriately grand, but whose isn't these days? At least Ms. Taylor, who stepped out of a limousine flanked by bodyguards, minders and friends, has earned it.

DAVID FURNISH met her at her car. Once inside the huge tent, she was whisked to Mr. John's sanctorum inside a row of sofas and bodyguards.

The evening's entertainment was provided by Scissor Sisters, whose singer ANA MATRONIC regaled the audience with an obscenity-laden rant.

ROBBIE ROBERTSON, who became famous as a member of the Band, remarked on the differences between his group and Scissor Sisters. ''Desperation wasn't part of the act,'' he said.

One guest, evidently exhausted by it all, grabbed a bottle of champagne from the bar and swigged it like beer.

ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER, who accompanied BEYONC?when she sang ''Learn to Be Lonely'' during the Academy Awards show, complained about the acoustics in the Kodak Theater and said he had not been able to hear the orchestra properly.

Most guests did not seem to pay much attention as Ms. Taylor was led to the V.I.P. area. Many seemed too young to appreciate a star of her stature. Once she was seated next to Mr. John, he presented her with a lavender cake and sang ''Happy Birthday.'' She was all smiles. With Brian McDonald in New York and Nick Madigan in Los Angeles