Could this be you? You’ve read volumes on investing, even attended some classes. You understand stocks, bonds, and the value of diversification. You own a few funds in your retirement account.

Still, you continue to ignore or neglect your money, even though you know better. Why?

Blame it on traditional financial education…where the emphasis is on filling your head with facts rather than fostering your courage to change.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been given the tools to boost Self-Efficacy, the most powerful predictor of financial well-being. (I didn’t think so)

Self-Efficacy—a concept developed by the Stanford psychologist Albert Bandura—is a person’s belief in their ability to succeed in a given task or goal.

If you don’t believe you can invest wisely without screwing up irreparably, you likely won’t even try. Or you’ll stop at the first stumbling block. Or worse, unconsciously make bad choices that reaffirms your limiting belief.

Enhancing financial Self-Efficacy is the secret sauce for financial success. It’s the difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it, between being competent and feeling confident.

Yet, I doubt you’ll be shown how to shore up Self-Efficacy by most professional advisors. But thanks to Dr. Bandura’s research, here are 4 powerful techniques to do just that:

Find Role Models—Observe friends, family, even perfect strangers who are financially savvy. Watching others successfully complete financial tasks provides not only inspiration, but a template to follow.

Get Encouragement—Hang around with people who will cheer you on because they truly believe in you. Those who say, “I know you can do it!” Stay away from naysayers.

Manage Emotions—if you’re depressed, traumatized or anxious, the inner work is crucial. Read self-help books. Find a counselor. Join a support group. Talk to a friend. Whatever it takes to relieve your pain, stress, worry and fear.

What can you do today to increase your Financial Self-Efficacy?

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Every time you log into Facebook, you risk falling prey to a debilitating disorder. I call it The Compulsion to Compare—judging yourself against others successes and coming up painfully short.

Lord knows, it happens to me. A lot! To keep from spiraling into self-recrimination, I repeat a rhyme my grandpa taught me long ago:

If every man’s eternal care

Were written on his brow,

How many would our pity share

That hold our envy now?

Those words remind me that virtually everyone struggles with their own ‘internal cares.’

But what distinguishes the Successful is that they don’t let their fear, worry, self-doubt or whatever burdens they bear stop them…at least not for long.

They feel the fear, suffer the distractions but stay the course. And when they fall down, as they always do, they get back up and keep going. The truth is, Greatness can only be achieved by transcending your inner turmoil.

I’d love to know: Have you ever struggled with The Compulsion to Compare?

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I have a theory. Each of us has a Patron Saint of Risk. Every time you dare do something different—make more money, write a book, start a business—this benevolent cosmic being sends a flock of angels (disguised as negative people) to tell you what a dumb idea it is.

These folks serve a very important function. They come to test your level of commitment. If you notice, the more tentative you feel, the more pessimistic they sound.

If they succeed in discouraging you, be grateful. Deep down, you just didn’t have enough moxie to make your idea work. If on the other hand, you are determined to succeed despite all the naysayers, you most likely will.

Face it. Without commitment, you can’t possibly succeed. But once you commit fully, you can’t possibly fail.

Commitment is what keeps you going despite rejection, disappointment or failure.In fact, to someone committed, failure doesn’t exist. It’s simply one more thing that didn’t work.

What’s frustrating however, is when you vow to accomplish something but to no avail. Projects fall apart. People renege on promises. Opportunities dry up. Your enthusiasm wanes. What then?

This may be a sign you’re on the wrong track. When you’re attempting something at odds with your authentic desires, your resolve will fizzle at the first hurdle.

A few years back, I was determined to learn to ride a motorcycle. My husband, a Harley fanatic, has two in our garage. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could ride alongside him? But the moment I took a tumble on the first day of motorcycle class, that was it. Clearly I wasn’t committed. I’d be just as happy on the back of hubby’s bike.

When you find yourself perpetually thwarted with a project you’ve tackled, here’s my advice. Instead of beating yourself up or struggling mightily to make it work, step back and dig deeper. Is this something I want so badly that I’m willing to fall down repeatedly until I finally succeed? Is this my soul’s yearning or simply an arbitrary ‘should’ I put on myself?

As D.H. Lawrence once suggested: “If it doesn’t absorb you, if it isn’t fun, don’t do it!”Amen to that!

What clues do you look for to determine if what you say you want to do is really an authentic desire? Leave a comment below.

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I’m making myself crazy. I’ve been doing it for months. Ever since I decided I was ready to birth my next book. In a fit of over-zealous optimism, I gave myself till summer’s end to finish the proposal.

Well, summer is quickly coming to a close. My proposal, however, is nowhere near completion. Not even close. I’ve been beating myself up—unmercifully—for missing my goal.

The trouble comes when I don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, I scold myself severely for screwing up.

Oh the absurdity of artificial deadlines! Yet, on reflection, I realize I’ve done this my whole life.

In fact, I suddenly realize, it’s actually a habit that’s been hardwired in my brain. And the very thing I’m writing my book about—3 steps to rewiring the brain—is precisely what I need to put into practice. Yes, there’s hope!!!

I’ve already begun the 1st Step: Recognize. I clearly see that chastising myself for falling short of an arbitrary deadline is unhealthy, unproductive and habitual. Sure, deadlines can be motivating. But self-flagellation is no way to foster creativity.

Now, the 2nd step, Reframe. I need to see this differently. Looking back, I realize (big sigh!) proposals always got written, projects always got completed…just not on my schedule. Instead of defying the current, what if I deferred to Divine timing? Only in hind sight can I possibly know what’s actually in my own best interest.

Finally the 3rd step, Respond Differently. I make a promise to myself. From now on, if I’m feeling stuck, if doors stay closed, if nothing flows freely and it ceases to be fun, I’m viewing these as indicators that it’s time to surrender and reassess rather than doggedly pursue a rigid decision.

The essence of my rewiring experience boils down to this: I’d rather live with the tranquility that comes from trusting a Higher Power than the stress of self-imposed pressure.

Are you still pursuing a goal that’s past its “expiration date”? Why? Leave a comment below.

Going through the reWIRE process can be challenging. Let me mentor you in my 5-month personal Mentorship and group coaching program, reWIRE Mentorship. Learn more here.

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Think about it. How often do you gloss over praise, deflect admiration, deny an achievement or respond with self-criticism?

Receiving is to your Soul what eating is to your body—a source of strength, nourishment, and growth. When you fail to receive, you’re literally starving your Soul.

But here’s where it gets tricky. Many gifts come camouflaged and are easily overlooked. To receive fully you must suspend judgment. Nothing that happens is ‘good’ or ‘bad, ’right’ or ‘wrong,’ ‘negative’ or ‘positive.’

Everything, absolutely everything, no matter how it feels, is a gift, a message, a lesson, a form of divine communication.

This, of course, is counterintuitive. It’s easy to receive a compliment from a friend, but a reprimand from your boss? That too can be a gift when you mine it for its deeper meaning.

To quote a Zen saying, the obstacle is the path. “So that like oxygen to a fire,” writes author Robert Greene, “obstacles and adversity become fuel for your potential.”

To receive fully means this: Every frustration, disappointment or even failure is, in truth, a source of guidance, support, and strength building…a gift, that if fully received, will increase your success exponentially.

I’d love to hear your experiences of how past disappointments turned out to be gifts in disguise. Share your story in the comments below.

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I have always found myself yearning for more…more money, more success, more sales, more ­­­­______ (fill in the blank).

I proudly considered this constant yearning a healthy sign of a robust ambition—until I began studying neuroscience. Then I realized how truly unhealthy this kind of thinking actually is.

Here’s why. We literally sculpt our brain by what we dwell on. The more we think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger that neuropathway becomes in our brain.

By constantly hungering for more, I was inadvertently telling my brain “I don’t have enough.”

The more I repeated that thought, the stronger the “not enough” neuropathway grew, until I’d unconsciously do things that kept reinforcing my experience of “not enough”.

Slowly it dawned on me. How can I expect more, if I repeatedly focus on what I had not yet attained?

Clearly, I needed to shift my focus to rewire my brain. So I decided to experiment. Every time I felt myself coveting anything, I stopped, took note and shifted into appreciation for what I currently had.

More money? I took a peek at my bank account, and gave thanks for the amount presently there. More success? I gratefully reviewed what I’d achieved up to now. The moment the thought creeps in, “but it’s not where I want to be…” I stop and refocus on how far I’ve come.

I invite you to join me. What if you shifted to gratitude for what you already have, rather than gazing into the future, longing for more?

I’m not asking you to give up your desires. But I am suggesting that you view your desires through the appreciative lens of how they’ve been at least partially fulfilled.

Then watch what happens. If your experience is like mine, you’re in for a few miracles!

Leave a comment below to let me know if practicing gratitude for what you already have creates miracles in your life.

I was newly divorced, raising 3 daughters, when I got tax bills for over $1m. My ex was responsible, but he left the country…leaving me with very little in the bank. My father refused to lend me the money. I was angry & terrified, but had no choice. I had to get smart about money.

I tried going to classes, reading books, but nothing made sense. I felt immobilized. Nowhere in those books or classes could I find a solution for my paralysis.

So I took matters in my own hands. I stopped focusing on the practical mechanics of money and started plumbing the deepest recesses of my psyche. Writing in my journal proved profoundly revealing. But most of all, it was freeing.

I became aware of a familiar voice that kept telling me how stupid I was. Instead of ignoring it, letting it hold sway, as I usually did, I began a dialogue with that voice, asking it where it came from and what it wanted.

I remembered my father telling me, often and in no uncertain terms, that managing money was a man’s job. So of course, I was terrified that if I tried to take charge, I’d botch things up badly. I’d make mistakes, blow it all.

My inability to understand money was actually an act of self-protection.

“If we seek something we’re afraid of, attainment of it won’t be what you really want,” A Course in Miracles warned me.

Deep down I didn’t want to get smart. I didn’t want to take charge. I did not want to risk losing everything.

But once I understood my unconscious assumption (women are incapable of managing money) and its source (my father), I was able to discredit it. My paralysis disappeared. Learning about finances actually came quite easily.

The financial industry eschews the Inner Work of Wealth as “touchy feely.” But I’m here to tell you, financial success doesn’t come from what you do as much as it comes from how you think.

Or as author Clark Moustakas put it “When a person acts without knowledge of what (she) thinks, feels, needs or wants, (she) does not yet have the option of choosing to act differently.”

Until I was aware of my false beliefs, I was virtually unable to act differently.

What false beliefs about money are holding you back? Leave me a comment below.

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Her book is based on her own unhealthy relationship with food and her experience teaching others what she learned during her weekend retreats.

Just like my book, Sacred Success, is based on overcoming my own devastating dealings with money and helping others do the same.

Her method of healing women’s relationship with food, similar to mine, mixes a hefty dose of spirituality with emotional transparency and practical actions.

The key to success is not to focus on dieting…or budgeting.

Instead, success comes from combining self-awareness exercises with specific practices to heal the deep-seated wounds that lead to compulsive behaviors, like chronic busyness, over eating, binge spending.

In fact, my favorite quote of all time came from Geneen: “The only people who don’t have insane relationships with money are those who were willing to examine their insane relationship with money.”

Gosh, I wish I’d said that!

Have you thought about what you’re trying to fill up with compulsive behaviors—whether with food or money issues? Leave a comment below.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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