Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Re-focusing for 2010

This year was really busy. Kind of insane, really. When I look at everything I had to deal with in 2009 I sometimes wonder how I got through to the other end with my mental status still registering normal. Well…normal for me, anyway.

However, the year is almost at an end, and despite all the brouhaha kicked up in the past twelve months, the lack of publishing success, the questioning of my goals – in writing, life, etc (you name it, I questioned it), the belief that I was living under a dark cloud that kept chasing me everywhere I went, I am actually looking forward to the holidays.

And not because that means 2009 is almost at an end. I made the mistake of saying at the end of a rather trying 2008 that I should look on the bright side – 2009 couldn’t be any worse. Then the sh*t storm that was 2009 hit and, well, I learned that yes, Kelly, it could get worse.

I also learned that what doesn’t kill you makes you scarred and bitter and angry. Oh no, wait, no…that wasn’t it…hang on, I wrote it down here somewhere…just give me a minute…ah, here it is: it makes you stronger. Hm. Well okay then. I suppose it beats the alternative. Not to mention much more attractive than scarred, bitter and angry.

So I will not say 2010 cannot possibly get any worse. I’ve learned my lesson on that account and there’s no point in throwing that challenge out to the karma gods yet again.

But I will tell you what 2010 will be. It will be a year of re-focusing. Of getting my head back in the game. And even more importantly, getting my heart back in the game. Re-discovering my joy of writing, the rush of can’t-get-to-the-keyboard-fast-enough, the wonderful play of words and ideas and emotions. And the craft. I think the past two years I got so caught up in the business of writing, I forgot to have fun. I forgot about the craft.

I forgot that I love to do this and can’t imagine any other alternative.

Given all of that, 2010 shall henceforth be dubbed the Year of Re-focusing. Actually that sounds kind of blah. How about The Year of New Beginnings? I like that better.

This year, I’m going to play. With words, with ideas, with new genres. I’m going to invest my time in the craft and improving my skills and rediscovering why I do this and why I can’t not do this. I’m also going to update my blog more regularly. Hopefully once a week. I swear.

And speaking of new beginnings, I’m starting off the new year with a new addition. A fur-baby in the form of a fuzzy golden retriever pup who will be ready to bring home on my birthday in mid January. And this time, I don’t care what catastrophe befalls me, this puppy is going to stay.

Great post - I like the honesty about "what doesn't kill you"...hopefully you will get to call 2009 your "annus horriblus" and look back at it as nothing but fodder for your writing. "It's all copy" - there have been many a time I've had to recite that myself. All my sincerest wishes for the season and a brand-spanking and very shiny new year:)