Are you waiting on things outside of your control? 9 Tips to keep you going!

In September – We knew we were moving back across the ocean to the land we call home

In October – The move was stopped and from morning to night and from day to day, what we were doing and when we were doing it changed, as things changed within the company

In early November – we were moving again and it looked impossible not to be home for Christmas

Then week after week and weekend after weekend – through Thanksgiving, and Christmas, our Anniversary and New Years we would do what we could do and then wait – on the company, the movers, the government and Harley Davidson

11 days ago – all of our household things were loaded into a container for overseas shipment

7 days ago – our motorcycle was crated and taken to our container

It’s almost mid-January and we’re still waiting – for paperwork to clear so we can leave

The emotional roller coaster has been intense:

Sad to go – So many tearful goodbyes – not knowing if or when we will see many of our friends and neighbors again

Sad to stay – Missing so much at home that we thought we would be a part of this year

Frustrated with all the barriers – There is so much we don’t control

Impatience, questions, anger, tears and numbness have all been a part of the process…

A neighbor recently commented that she doesn’t know how I’m still smiling. Another friend commented on my patience.

The reality I that most days I can smile because I do the 9 things I recommend below, but I’m also human and I have bad days too.

Christmas Eve is my favorite day of the year, and it’s been 4 years since I’ve been able to celebrate it in the way that I’d like to. (When I know we aren’t going home and set my expectations accordingly and I can navigate that day very well.)

This year I was so sure that we would be there, that I struggled to adjust those expectations as the date approached. When I woke up on Christmas Eve, I cried and dried my eyes and tried to focus on something else and the tears came again. …Over and over, for half the day, that process repeated itself. That’s not normal for me, and it wasn’t how I had imagined spending the day. But I got it all out and I am smiling again.

How you cope with a season of waiting is a choice – that impacts how you emerge from it.

Pray: It’s ok if some of your prayers are confidently claiming scripture, while others are filled with gut wrenching questions, and others are peaceful and accepting.

Turn up the volume on your favorite tunes: And listen to beautiful melodies and lyrics filled with truth an inspiration.

Be authentic with your friends: Their understanding and support will help to carry you with new perspectives, advice, encouragement, prayers, distractions, laughter and if you’re as spoiled as we’ve been – maybe even meals!

Get some exercise and fresh air: Just getting out and walking changes the scenery and gets your blood pumping.

Look back and remember: Other big seasons of waiting and change that were really tough that caused you to emerge softer, and stronger and wiser.

Dream about the future: Who do you want to connect with, what do you want to do… What can you do now to prepare for that?

Keep others that are waiting in your thoughts, prayers and messages: Who do you know that is in a season of waiting? How can you support them?

So many of our friends and family are waiting for things that are bigger and harder than what we are dealing with.

Friends all over Louisiana that had their homes flooded in August and are still waiting to get back home. …Many are staying with friends, some with family, some in FEMA trailers.

They’ve waited:

On flood waters to recede

On insurance companies for estimates

On banks to clear insurance checks

On construction crews to be available and to get started

While they’ve waited: They’ve lacked privacy, and lost personal freedoms as they’ve adjusted to life in the homes of others.

Other friends have waited for:

Medical testing

Then waited for test results

Then waited for treatment plans

Some are now waiting for treatment to start while others are waiting for treatment plans to work.

And we are surrounded by people that live outside of their home countries and away from their spouses and children for years at a time to provide a better future for their families.

They wait for vacations – Often waiting months and years past the promised date.

When there is a family emergency back home they wait for approval to leave – and often don’t receive it. (So they often miss the births and weddings of their children, miss helping family after a natural disaster, miss visiting a loved one in a hospital, miss saying goodbye to and burying parents when they die.)

President, Giana Consulting

Chery believes that:
• Anyone can be a leader.
• Everyone knows something that the rest of us don’t.
• We all need to leave our workplaces, communities, nation and world – better than we found them.

Those beliefs caused her to instigate change from every position she ever had and continually provided opportunities to lead system-wide change from the middle and the edge of organizations.

Her faith and my firm belief that leaders need to walk their talk were the reasons she agreed to move to a part of the world that she once feared. As an expat she embraced daily opportunities to meet and learn from people that represent the nations in our world.

Today Chery is The Founder of Giana Consulting, listed as a Great Leadership Speaker by Inc., writes a recognized leadership blog and has co-authored two leadership books.

She leverages true leadership stories and expat experiences to inform, inspire and emphasize life skills that cause her clients to be more energized and productive.

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YOU ARE INVITED: To add your comments and to share your professional, personal and faith-based stories. Diverse opinions, compassion, and inspiration are welcome! (I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.)

6 thoughts on “Are you waiting on things outside of your control? 9 Tips to keep you going!”

I wish I could move things along for you but of course that’s part of the insanity of this all.

You share such powerful tips with us on how to endure a wait. I love your idea of being authentic with your friends. There is nothing like our support systems to help us get through tough times.

I sometimes wait for long period of times for new client perspectives to make their decisions. It could take months for organizations to decide whether or not to move forward. Of course my life is not one hold as is yours but we are all waiting in life sometimes.

I am sending love and light your way. It will happen! In the meantime, just be your amazing self.

Thank you Terri! I have wished for magic wands, transporters, and that the warm thoughts and prayers from friends would speed things up too! I’m also looking for learnings and opportunities to add value right where we are.

Great reminder that we ALL wait on something, sooner or later so it is wise to learn how to navigate it and to realize we are not alone.

Such a heartfelt article, Chery! Waiting is hard for all of us and I love your list of 8 ways to get through it…I would add “Be grateful.” Even in the midst of a crummy situation, when we choose to be grateful it changes the way our brain thinks about it.

P.S. I am among those who are praying that you will soon be stateside 🙂 We miss you over here!

We lived in China for 6 years, Thailand for 5, and Vietnam for 1. When we decided to return to the US, for me it was a return. My wife’s Australian. We spent three months living in a hotel in Hanoi, travelling back and forth to the embassy in Ho Chi Minh City, trying to get my wife a visa and finding that we needed “one more piece of paper.” So yep, waiting, and out of our control.

I coped by studying the NC Driver’s Handbook and writing a novel, but that’s because I’m a weirdo. What we remembered is that we were able to get Jan a visa in only six months. The typical time to do the same thing while in the U.S. is more than two years. That doesn’t do much for the emotional frustration of waiting, but the logical side was pleased.

My class found your information insightful and especially helpful in processing their experience. They all mentioned that their future planning will include your wisdom and they stated that their newfound awareness of the natural processes you outlined will help them retain their positions, maximize their outcomes, and offer support to those in their circle of care.

Chery is a smart, kind, brilliant, clever, charismatic, and adaptive business professional.
She is a true servant leader with unwavering integrity and ethics.
Chery is a progressive and thought-provoking consultant that works collaboratively to grow and guide people, empowering them to practice compassionate accountability; an essential element in competitive sustainability.

Conference question and answer sessions thrive or die based on the facilitators ability to be professional, prepared and perky! Chery Gegelman does an excellent job of using all three qualities to put the audience at ease, engage them in meaningful dialogue while keeping the conversation on topic!

If there is one person who knows how to work a crowd, it’s Chery!
I have had the honor of working with Chery on two leadership events that consisted of panel discussions and Chery served as the wonderful facilitator. Not only was she professional, well-spoken and poised, but her connection with the audience members was outstanding!
I received many compliments from guests after the event about how much they enjoyed her!

Giana Consulting successfully completed a complex study on the establishment of a new training facility for the community college system in our state. It was done on time and on budget and exceeded our expectations. She is a true professional and was a pleasure to work with.

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About Chery Gegelman

Hi! I’m Chery,
I deeply believe that:
• Anyone can be a leader.
• Everyone knows something that the rest of us don’t.
• We all need to leave our workplaces, communities, nation and world – better than we found them.
Those beliefs caused me to:
1. Build bridges of communication and understanding between people in different positions, organizations, races, religions, and cultures.
2. Instigate change from every position I’ve ever had and continually provided opportunities to lead system-wide change from the middle and the edge of organizations.
Today I am The Founder of Giana Consulting, listed as a Great Leadership Speaker by Inc., write a recognized leadership blog and have co-authored two leadership books.
My faith and my firm belief that leaders need to walk their talk were the reasons I agreed to move to a part of the world that I once feared. During the four years I lived as an expat, I embraced daily opportunities to meet and learn from people that represented the nations in our world. Today - I combine my passion for character-based leadership with our Saudi experiences to help people learn to lead themselves, their people and their organizations at a higher level.