Originally, this piece was just going to be about Robert De Niro stating that ‘[he’d] like to punch Donald Trump in the face’, and how there was a big hoo-ha about it after (even though – I should like to think most of us feel the same). In any case, the plan was to write a short puff piece about expression or an impassioned defence of the individual and the right to say whatever, whenever, since all too often I see comments telling a musician to ‘stick to music, because I don’t like you for your politics’. Because only the selective news or media these commenters follow can address such big social issues. I should really stop reading Internet comments.

I was going to defend circumstance like when Jim Carrey idiotically came out as an anti-vaxxer. People have this view that it doesn’t matter that Lilly Allen’s profession is fundamentally about self-expression. She isn’t allowed to express a political view. It doesn’t matter that Gary Lineker is/was a footballing hero to the man on the street. The public outcry against him apparently shows he’s not allowed to have views that are his own. It doesn’t matter that Russell Brand went from working class to wealthy; his experience of class is meaningless. What the hell kind of mute society is this?

What I mean is that these personalities are just people. They aren’t going to be agreeable all the time, and we should be able to get over that without being childish. Yet these strange “other” people should shut up because it doesn’t matter that ‘politics’ literally means “of people/citizens” (collective plural) meaning everyone is supposed to take part. Let’s just devolve into tribalism in our happy little bubbles. In the age of information and communication it’s become increasingly difficult to understand one another. The proverbial brick wall between us is higher and sturdier than ever.

Most of you reading this probably understood this already. You’re decent people.

And then there’s Dumbf, and his stupid wall.

He mouthed so many inane things by the end of that De Niro week (and every other week since time immemorial) that I gave up on my premise. How do you defend someone being deliberately inflammatory? It’s not even a matter of high passions with him, it’s just pure sewage and poison. And then he has the audacity to act like the world is against him. Don’t say something obviously inflammatory and then get defensive when you’re criticised for it. Free speech doesn’t mean you get to say what you want free from scrutiny. Hilary Clinton may represent a lot of what’s wrong with America’s political system, but Trump is everything wrong with America.

Then the Tories let us Brits down. Again. David Davies came out of his miserable hole to attack children. Such a scared little man who needs to check a refugee’s teeth to feel safe at night. How deeply petty and sad. Just think how far humanity could have progressed by now had we not got bogged down in such fundamentally stupid issues over the centuries. For god’s sake climate change was first proposed in 1896, and we’re barely starting to do something about it now.

By the way, anyone notice how we subtly went from calling settlers, “migrants” to “immigrants”. We all know the reason there’s an “i” in “immigrant” is because it’s code for “illness”. They bring disease and curses when they wash upon our shores!

But don’t fret, it’s not like Britain got its world-standing by building an empire on the backs of other countries – that it still relishes in. It’s not like our national drink is an import from the East.