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The Agent’s Best Worst Birthday Ever

So, now that Halloween is officially over (I personally don’t stop celebrating until Thanksgiving), I can start talking about other things that happened last month. Things like how my birthday was both the most painful experience I’ve had in recent memory and yet one of the best from a personal growth standpoint.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned how I normally love the month of October because my birthday coincides closely with Halloween. However, this year was quite difficult to enjoy.

A fair chunk of the issue is that this is my first year living on my own since getting out of college. As such, I’ve had to dedicate a huge swath of time and energy to making a comfortable life for myself. This means that most of my time has been spent away from friends, family, and even my roommate.

But it was the day of my birthday that hit me the hardest. I had just pulled up to my apartment after working all night. I was exhausted and emotionally drained after a half-hour of repetitive complaints from my boss that I had no power to fix; a daily morning routine for me for what felt like several months at this point.

I saw that my parents had called my cell phone, so I returned the call. After what felt like several minutes of explaining that I had to work that night and that I couldn’t see them, I had had a moment of lucidity.

I had not seen anything outside of the walls of my apartment or the rest stop that I work at since I moved. In my attempts to escape the trappings of my old reclusive live, I was stuck in a brand new box without the people I cared so much about.

As the realization that I was falling back on my shut-in behavior that I tried to distance myself from came over me, I wept. I wept like I never had in years. I just fell on the steering wheel of my car as I sat parked in front of my building and started sobbing. I had finally been broken.

But then, a strange thing happened. As I did my usual run of posts on Twitter and Facebook, I read the birthday wishes that others had sent me. It reminded me that there were those out there that still remember me and cared enough to take five seconds to let me know that. Still, it wasn’t the same as seeing a smile face.

That’s when my roommate came knocking at my bedroom door. She grabbed my best friend from work, got me a key lime pie, and didn’t want me leaving for work that night without it. Something about that small gesture just made the whole day seem worth being pulled out of bed. I went in to work that night with no regrets.

If there are two lessons to be taken from this, I’d say that the first it’s that – as sappy as it my be – there’s a reason that you’re here on this earth; because at least one person cares enough to need you in their live.

The other, less romantic lesson is that so-called ‘mature adult responsibilities’ will always be B.S. until they can be made to not interfere with the time you should be spending with the people that actually matter in your life.