Sunday, August 1, 2010

It is not evven 0730 yet and I ahve already started

something.

Pretty neat!

Half an hour ago I was taking morning coffee in the driveway, and Lo and behold! I saw with mine eyes, organs of vision, a true target of opportunity! The guy that called the cops on me for telling him I was looking for land mines. He's walking his dopey little dog, one of those yappy little things that I'd like to grab by the ears and punt about thirty yards.

I grabbed my weed digger upper, the one that looks like the bayonet, and started going after a couple of weeds. When he was right next to where I was digging, I looked wide eyed at the wees I was digging and said "OH MY GOD!" I put my tool down and with my fingers started gently moving dirt and twigs from the base of the weed and said to him, "You do not want to be here." Then I started gently blowing dust from the base of the weed.

He paled and took off.

I finished my coffee and grabbed cup number 2 of 2 and waited outside.

Sure enough, the cops showed up.

It was a different officer, and he was friendly enough and we chatted.

When I asked him if he was having a quiet Sunday morning, he replied that he was until this call came in. He also mentioned that this was the fourth or fifth time he had called the department on me.

He said he was 'going to have a little talk' with the guy.

This is good, becausenow I can do wverything under the sun in front of the bastard and he won't dare call the cops on me about anything unless he finds a dead stripper in my trash.