The kiss is more explosive than you had envisioned. Hearts racing as she makes inaudible pleasurable uhmms and ahhhs. Excitement oozes like myrrh across the dimly lit room. You look into her eyes, so pure and enchanting. You look into them for signs, a little nudging to proceed with the passion. They tell nothing, but she leaves her slim hands across your back, pressing you further into her.

I want you, she whispers as she works her moist tongue into your ear lobes. You want to explode. You oblige her. Like a mamba working its way through the evergreen plantation, your hands expertly fink its way to her knickers. You’re almost there. Pause. You look bewildered. I thought you wanted this, you can barely even hear your voice. Your look of disappointment meets her look of uncertainty. The paradox swims in the air. She wants you, but just not yet it seems.

This is an all-too-familiar scene. Most men would find themselves trapped in this ever-burning bush of desire at one point in their lives. And frankly, there are many connotations to this and I don’t intend to be a bore. This is the Holy Grail – the plucking of the flower; the virgin lily. Being a girl’s first kiss or taking her precious virginity is the ultimate male fantasy, hedging you forever in the annex of her mind for eternity. Euphoric as this may be, there are facets of making her a woman that could be less than pleasurable. Before you pull down her knickers, her chastity belt, know what you’re getting into.

If you don’t like watching girls cry, don’t sleep with a virgin. Losing one’s virginity is one of the acts that can never be taken back. Like words or time, once used, can never be taken back or recovered. Girls freak out a lot, and with virgins, the probability of her freaking out is sky-scraping. Because so much importance is put on her virginity, her first time is bound to be an emotional experience, which means that you might have to deal with panic, sadness, guilt, and other unpleasant reactions. She has probably imagined the event for a long time and wants it to go absolutely perfectly. If even the slightest thing doesn’t go according to plan, it could result in tears and tantrums.

If you don’t want a last relationship with a virgin, don’t sleep with her. I don’t profess piety for my life. There are deeds for which I still rue over, but deflowering a pure girl and leaving her comes to the top of that list. (Maybe this post is an act of penance, maybe not). It is more than likely that a girl who’s been devigirnised will expect to have a strong, long lasting relationship with the guy that bedded her, so think carefully before “pulling down the knickers.” Although, I have met girls who just wanted to get it done and over with, without an aorta of emotion involved – a rite of passage into womanhood it may seem. But what I’m saying in essence is this: If you’re not planning on becoming her boyfriend, or at least continuing to date her, don’t sleep with her.

If you don’t want inexperienced or sloppy sex, don’t sleep with a virgin. And this is obviously a big reason for me not to engage in precipitated sex. There are exceptions to this, of course, since there are plenty of skills a girl can learn before she loses her actual virginity these days. But even with the talents learnt by a virgin, I doubt if the experience would be pleasurable for you. Like I quoted, I’m no saint, but I find a lot of disdain for dudes who would want to take a girl’s virginity because the power trip it produces. Their balls should be plucked out and hung on a stake. If you desire a mutually satisfying sexual experience, you should look for someone who has had time to develop some sexual skills.

If the sight of blood makes you squeamish, don’t sleep with a virgin. No further comment.

On a final note, unlike having sex with an experienced woman, a virgin doesn’t know what to expect. You’ve to put more effort and time. You’ve got plan ahead. You’ve got to pass the gruelling convincing on your part of getting her to bed. If she’s not ready, she’s just not ready. Capice? Also, the older she is, the harder it will be. If she has managed to protect her virginity all teenage years and into her 20s, it will be that much more difficult to persuade her that she should give it up to you, especially when the prospect of a long-term commitment is not available.

As you can see, taking a girl’s virginity is not all that it’s cracked up to be. There are groundwork concerns, emotional issues, commitment questions, technique problems, and other more tangible messes to deal with. So perhaps you should leave the devirginising to the secondary school boys and look for a sexual encounter that isn’t quite so complicated.

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‘DB here, an update on photo of the week competition, please drop your twitter handle in the commentbox before or after your title.

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