When You Find Out You’re Having Another Baby (!!!)

Then wait 24 hours for your wife to call you into the bathroom waving around a pee stick and asking what you did to put a baby in her stomach! Haha…

“Oh you know what I did!” I jokingly respond back, half in shock and half freaking out… “Yes, but WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW??” my wife cryingly replies – surely not expecting it.

That was about 3 months ago, and now that we’re out of the first trimester and allowed to share it with the world (so far so healthy!!) we’re back to sane-ville again and much more collected :)

But wow what a shock to receive when you’re not planning for it! We always talked about having more kids later, but “later” just seemed so much more later! Haha… That’s how life works sometimes though, doesn’t it? One minute you’re nice and comfy just going with the routine, and then the next you’re hit with an amazing adventure! And what an amazing adventure it’ll indeed be…

WE’RE HAVING A BABY Y’ALL!!!

LIKE IN 6 MONTHS!

My boys are too cute and already coming up with names for it depending on what sex it is. We’ve got “Clara” for a girl, because they know a Clara that they both like, and then “Boyder” for a boy. Because, well, it starts with “boy” and they made it up thinking they were hilarious ;)

But of course we all know what we’re really going to call him/her: Baby Dime. To fit nicely with our Baby Penny and Baby Nickel theme going on here :)

This news also speeds up a few other areas of life as well:

#1. My wife is finally going to get her minivan! Because like a good husband, I promised it to her last year when she was kind enough to let me get my SUV (smooches!).

#2. I’m going to try being a stay-at-home dad now who blogs on the side vs a stay-at-home blogger who dads on the side! :) Something I’ve always wanted to try but wasn’t able to with my first two kids (because I was a *ahem* workaholic), and also because I refuse to shell out another $2,000 a month for daycare! Especially right when we just chopped it down to only $450 due to the beauty that is the public school system, haha…

#3. We’re going to work our way back to my beloved Virginia to be closer to family again. Which I cannot WAIT for because this DC area is just giving me the hives… And not just because of the politics! This was always our mission here once the wife got her career under way, but now with this ammunition hopefully we’re able to pull it off sooner than later…

And finally, #4) It’s time to work less, but live more. I.E. stop working nights and weekends while still somehow getting all my blog stuff done during the day and at the same time caring for a crying/pooping/non sleeping newborn baby :) Shouldn’t be a problem at all?!

I’ll actually be blogging more about this here in a bit, but in a nutshell I’ve already implemented two new habits since learning of this baby news and I’m proud to share that I’ve completed them magnificently:

I’ve only worked 2-3 nights total in the past 3 months (!)

I haven’t opened up my laptop even *once* on a single weekend in 3 months (!!!!)

How???? Because I literally just told myself “no more” and forced myself to cram it all in during the week no matter what it takes. And surprise surprise, when you put limits on yourself like that (and when you’re *serious* about those limits!) you actually get $hit done! Amazing!

Again, more on this later, but if you’ve been struggling with this work/life balance stuff, I HIGHLY encourage you giving one of these a shot above and seeing how you feel afterwards. Hell, start this weekend coming up if you can! See if you can go the entire time without touching your computer once!

(Wondering what I’ve been doing now with all my spare time, btw? A ton of reading (physical books), a ton of relaxing, a ton of exploring and hanging out with my kids, and a ton of – wait for it – NAPPING! Something I haven’t thought about, or done, in the past 30 years! And my wife said she noticed how much more *present* I’ve been as well, so needless to say these habits are for the long haul :))

Now how will this baby stuff effect our finances??

Well, I think we all know the answer to that – hah! – but seeing how I’ve stopped tracking all our baby costs once word of our 2nd kid was coming, we’re very purposefully not going to be finding out how much exactly our expenses will rise so we don’t freak ourselves out too much ;)

I will say though that if we have another boy it’ll be much cheaper since we already have gobs of hand me downs, but if it’s a girl my wallet is pretty much going to have to be ripped out of my hands because I will not be able to stop spoiling her as she will be daddy’s little girl!! And I will enjoy every second of it!

And then there’s the whole health insurance debacle too, but thank GOD we’re connected with my wife’s job now which is about a billion times better than when we were riding solo:

Oh, and here’s something else pretty interesting: Because my wife is now over 35 she is considered “old” and “high risk”, haha… So now she has to take all these extra tests to make sure everything is fine, while I go around talking about how old she is (even though I’m older) ;)

What she does like about this though, is that because of all these new tests and how far advanced technology is nowadays, we actually get to learn the sex of the baby SUPER early compared to previous times! And because I wanted it to be a surprise but she didn’t, my wife actually knows RIGHT NOW what the sex is but I don’t – gasp! And so far she hasn’t slipped!

We’ll see how long that lasts, but I’m going to enjoy it for as long as I can, while secretly hoping for a baby girl so our house doesn’t turn into Testosterone Castle. Can you imagine THREE little boys running around the place PLUS me??

My wife’s going to be in trouble :) But of course, as long as both mommy and baby are happy in the end I will be one very proud and happy daddy/husband.

6 more months to go!! Wish us luck figuring it all out, and may your own baby making goals come to fruition if and when you’re ready too :)

Gotta take your blessings when they’re given, even if they throw you for a loop!

Thanks for being along for the journey… It’s a lot less scary with a community of friends :)

XOXO,

When You Find Out You’re Having Another Baby (!!!) was last modified: November 7th, 2017 by J. Money

I know it will be a lot of work, and, yes, it will be expensive to have a baby. But having an addition to our family is just awesome!

I can somehow relate to your thought process. Mr. FAF and I have been talking about having a 2nd baby. But we are still hesitant since daycare is expensive, and we seem to have our hands full with a toddler. Yet, we still want to have another baby no matter how much work it takes. :D

I think that last part is key – KNOWING that you do in fact want another at some point. This post would have been a lot different had we agreed we were done! (Although I can’t ever imagine hating babies so maybe I”d still be excited then too? :))

Fantastic news! Great to here, and welcome to the soon to be 3 kids club! We have 3 girls and I wouldn’t know what to do with a boy, a lot of people use to ask me ” are you going to try again for a boy”? No way, 3 is enough!!
Also I became a stay at home dad when our 3rd was born, it was a serious transition but sooooo worth it. I still am full time dad and just recently started back part time work while kids are in school.

Great things come in three’s = stooges, musketeers, and now J$ babies. I’m the middle of three girls and had a few quirks come up after #3 was born. I not only stopped talking, but I also went back to crawling. I guess I REALLY wanted to be the baby (and it seems I might have been a bit stubborn). Hopefully, Baby Nickel has a smooth transition to the middle but even if not, the good news is that I turned out pretty good…and I’ve started talking again. ;)

I am so looking forward to following along on this journey. Work should always take a back seat to life. Not everyone has that opportunity but you have a great arrangement that you can flip things around as needed. Enjoy this time and keep being present!! I’m so happy for you all!!

Congrats Jay. One of my friends has three boys and his house is definitely A Testosterone Castle. I hope that baby Dime is a girl so she can bring balance to the force around your home. It’s a game changer to go from two to three kids. Good luck.

Congrats J! Minivans are the best, We’ve been rockin Minivans since we had 1 kid (started with a $300 grey minivan that lasted over a year back in 2006). Now we have four kids, but even when we had 2 a minivan is so freaking nice! The 2 best features about our odyssey are the middle row seat that can be added to seat a total of 8 and the back seats folding into the trunk. I love the space and the mileage isn’t too terrible, we get around 21mpg.

This is certainly a time to be thankful that you and your spouse have worked your butts off and built a life where you can be a stay at home dad / blogger. So few families are able to have 1 parent stay home with a kid, and even fewer dads are able to do that. WINNING!

Congratulations and much happiness. Reminds one that money is just the road to what brings true meaning to life – family, close relationships and love. And you have that in abundance. Savor the moments. Paul

Ekkk! I’m so excited for you guys!! That is awesome. I love ALL of this! New baby, moving closer to family, and part time work. :) And, for the record, I had a mommy melt down when we found out #5 was on the way. It spured this mini-retirement, starting to write and everything else. Sometimes babies are the kick in the pants we need to switch things up!

OMG CONGRATULATIONS THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER!!!! AH!!! More babies! Yay! You and your wife must be so happy. Can’t wait to see cute pictures and see your sleep addled ways hah! I already said congratulations but CONGRATULATIONS!!

Wow that’s awesome J. Congratulations! Also a big congratulations on revamping your work-life balance! That’s big. I have a running joke at work where they tell me I work for the phone company – because at 5pm, I just get up and leave no matter what. But so far so good! and just like you I’ve found that it keeps me working harder.

Congrats, J$! Our third (born when I was an ancient 40-year-old!) has been the perfect icing on our family cake. She has been such a joy for five years and we now know she was the one who was “missing from the table”. We had a hunch…and I am so happy she’s here.

And so far no – no extra smiles or anything that leads me to believe it’s a girl, but hopefully she’s taking this secrecy job to heart and REALLY doing a good job of a poker face!

The true test will come when it’s time to go shopping, haha… If she doesn’t go out and get clothes it’s a sure sign it’s a boy, but if she comes home with anything pink the jig is up! (Actually that’s not true – my oldest son’s favorite color is pink, so let’s go with bringing home a dress :))

Oh dude, believe me – just a few months ago i was BEGGING my wife to let go of all our old clothes cuz it’s killing the minimalist in me, and now all she says is “arn’t you glad I didn’t listen to you??” She’d say it every week to me if she could, but seeing how it would not give up the secret on whether it’s a boy or not she has thankfully refrained :)

I wish the wife luck with keeping the secret of the baby’s sex from you. If it is a girl…she will be looking at all the cute PINK stuff and it will be hard to keep from you. If it is a boy, she won’t have to look to much because you already have a good start.

Congratulations! Like your wife I had to put up with the ‘advanced maternal age’ label (sooo sexy), but the plus side is that you will get to see/hear your baby much more often – more ultrasounds etc. Worth it!

I already asked if that was possible, and my wife assured me it is not right now (and then made fun of me to all her friends for even asking such a stupid question :) but hey – i could have sworn I’ve heard stories of multiple surprise babies happening while another was already in there? No?)

Congrats again J! As far as minivans go, we personally found that used minivans were overpriced so we *gasp* bought a brand new 2018 Honda Odyssey EX. We love it! Let me know if you have any questions :)

Oh, really? Well that doesn’t bode well! Although you are the 2nd person to mention an Odyssey here today so that one is def. going to be at the top of our list once it’s time… But hopefully i can find a way to squeeze 3 car seats in the back of mine to delay it a bit! :)

Congratulations! The best surprise you can have, and if more kids were in your future, sooner is better than later (esp. with an “old” woman – your words, not mine). It’s great you’ve already built some leverage in your business, and it’s great you don’t have to worry about selling a house to mosey on down to VA. Or, as Hannibal would say, “I love it when a plan comes together!” All the best to you and yours!

Congratulations!! I had surprise baby #3, found out I was pregnant on my 29th birthday. We were done with 2 and I was so relieved because #2 daughter had started kindergarten and those child care costs were wayyyy down! Our property was almost paid off, DH had drafted our home he was going to build……best laid plans and all that. So DH had to deal with “hormone hell” as he referred to it with all girls including the dog and chicken! But he was the king of the house (while providing our nutritious meals as he was in charge of food)! The only thing he actually controlled besides the food was the remote control….hahahha!

Okay the best thing about having 3 children, your chances of becoming grandpa increases!! Grandchildren are God’s gift for putting up with teenagers! Thank God we had that third surprise because she gave us 2 beautiful…….wait for it…….Granddaughters!! DH was thrilled (I was thinking he would want a grandson, but his theory was that the boys would go with son-in-law’s family more). We waited so long for those sweet babies.

Congratulations and enjoy every minute, you will turn around and they will all be grown!

Whoa, congrats J!!! That’s outstanding. My money is on a girl… Also, very cool about the move. And more power to you on time management. I’m doing *exactly* the same now. It rocks. Our pace of life has slowed down and we love it. (My blog posting slowed some too, alas, but that’s temporary; November is my busiest time all year.). Look forward to hearing more!

Very cool! Nice to hear that from a fellow blogger as so far i haven’t met a single other person who doesn’t work on weekends at least a little :) I agree it does help slow down time more! And I swear I’m much more creative during the week now w/ that break.

Congrats!!!! Having a baby may be the worst thing you can do with your finances and still have it be an amazing “decision.” I hope he or she soon realizes how lucky they are to be in the house of Money! Good luck. Get some rest now while you can! Looking forward to hearing how you are able to optimize the blog work and how being a SAHD works out for you.

A BIG Congratulations! Super fun to have three kids, there’s one extra vote on what to do, which park to go to, and always have a tie breaker!

Any gender is a true blessing, but here’s hoping you have a daddy’s girl for your wife’s sake. Too much testerone, whew! At least a girl can wear boy stuff during babyhood, it’s a little harder when switched.

If it is a girl there is no reason for her not to have the “boy clothes” hand-me-downs. Dress them up with lace or buttons if you want to be more fancy (though why a girl toddler moving around as much as boy toddlers should be shackled with tripping lace…) and splurge on the fancy clothes.

Heck test out a couple of the outgrown boy clothes in kool-aid ™ dye – a cheap makeover trick and see what colors they turn into! Let penny and nickel color some of the clothes or glue lace and things on them. great inexpensive family time, and they are helping welcome the newest into the family.

In the words of the man himself Rick Flair “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” !!!!

Congrats!!! Little kids are awesome. I think I’ve said it here before but if not here it goes again. The only time I ever hear about people admitting regrets at old age it because they wished they would have had more kids. I firmly believe that we shouldn’t let the the world tell us how many kids is normal, everyone is different, for some its 0 and others 6, we just went till our family felt whole, and for us that number was 4 kids.

Also, “#1. My wife is finally going to get her minivan!” Dude you don’t even know. The luxury of these things now a days are going to make you feel like your Lexus is garbage. Not only that but the ease and convenience of a minivan, I’m not even lying dude, you are going to wish you had got one sooner. Your kids will get in and out themselves, no worrying about tight spots with the way the doors open. Plus its kind of funny pulling up to the grocery store blasting some Rage, Biggie, Avenged Sevenfold, etc…

My eyebrows shot up thinkin about number 3 in general but the two of you are awesome so more little yous sound like a boon for the world.

As a reformed workaholic, welcome to the Parenting First club! I haven’t worked weekends for more than a year and I’m loving the new life that’s about our families and what we can do together and enjoy. I know you will too. ❤️❤️❤️

Awesome news! Congratulations to you and your family. I love that you’ve committed to being more present – blogging and being an entrepreneur can be so demanding, but focusing on those people and things that we do it all for is so much more important.

I’m Team Girl but I know either way Baby Dime will be a welcome addition to your family! My daughter loves to hate the attention from her big brothers but she’s also the boss of them most days. LOL

Congrats J! My wife found out this summer that she was expecting as well – and we’ve got a due date in April – so it sounds like we’ll be having babies around the same time! Sounds like it may not have been totally expected for you – and it definitely wasn’t for us – but we’re extremely happy. Good luck on your hopes for a girl – I never thought we would have a baby girl as my family is pretty male dominated, but we found out via blood test that we’re having a girl! So there’s hope my friend! My wife is 36, so for her it’s a high-risk pregnancy too – which means lots of doctor visits and ultrasounds – but I think it’s fun to be able to see baby girl bouncing around in mommy’s tummy every couple weeks. Love it! Good luck on the rest of the pregnancy!

CONGRATS, that’s awesome!!! I can relate to a lot of the things you say.

1) I’m assuming you have US govn’t health insurance; we also have it through my wife, and I absolutely love it. We’ve found that if you go with the better options, it is genuinely useful, cover-almost-everything-with-almost-any-doctor insurance, and the cost is not outrageous. In fact, we suspect that, if anything, doctors may like it so much that they fall over themselves to treat you!

2) If your wife works for the US govn’t and she’s going to request a transfer to another office, our experience has been that it’s a crapshoot. Some take over a year, some never happen, and some take a matter of weeks (especially “hardship transfers”), all depending on agency needs and other factors.

3) I truly admire how you’re achieving work-life balance. That’s an eternal struggle for me, and nights and weekends are the norm.

1) yeah! it’s gov’t insurance and so far so great! (I’m not sure which plan my wife chose but I know it wasn’t the cheapest and it costs more than I originally thought it was, so maybe we got middle-to-upper tier?)

2) this is what we’re afraid of :( the ultimate goal though would be for her to actually still work where she is now, just telecommute for the majority of time. Which currently seems do-able, however apparently there’s some rule the administration is considering where they may restrict it to only 2 days/week for *everyone* in her agency? we’re hoping it’s bogus as there are hundreds who work out of the office 100% of the time, but you really never know… so send over as much positive thoughts as you can, good sir!

3) i know, it’s taken me almost 10 years to figure out how to make this work :( but the good thing is that if you just commit to it – for real – and do it in steps it’s actually not as bad! You just gottta start with *one* simple thing at a time (like, i am going for ONE weekend not working!) and then when you pull it off you get such a rush and know that the world doesn’t explode and then you keep trying to hack away at other things… The toughest is really working through all those parts of the day where you tend to slack since now you have less room to do that :( But if there’s anything to cut out from the work life, at least that area would be it! haha….

Congratulations! I loved reading this. This is the stuff life is made of and all the money stuff just enables us to more fully embrace it! Excited to find out if you will be adding a little princess or more fuel to the testosterone fire. We are slightly behind you with two boys, so naturally, we are hoping for a little princess, but also adore our boys. Like you said, as long as mama and baby are happy and healthy, it’s all good! Congrats, again!

Oh wow! What an amazing news! Congratulations!!! Money isn’t everything in life, and you said, it’s better not to count how much you are going to spend on the little one just yet!
And if 35 is old these days at almost 40 I now feel almost dead :)
Congrats again!

I love the “no more” approach to life. And holy smokes, good luck with a newborn and the blog. Hopefully yours will be much more receptive to napping and sleeping. Because I’m pretty sure the only time mine slept during my entire mat leave was on the plane to and from FinCon! All the congratulations in the world! Hooray, Baby Dime!

Congrats man, happy for ya! I can understand how you want to get out of the big city life. It’s beyond me how people live with the traffic and everything else that goes with it. I know someone who works in DC and they commute 1.5 hours to and from work everyday. No thanks!

Ha! We were surprised with news that we were going to have Baby No. 2 in May — it was particularly ironic because, after years of trying (our oldest is 7), we had pretty much decided THAT MONTH that we were happy to be a family of three, and then boom! The surprise hit. We are going to fork it up for daycare (about $2700 a month for ONE CHILD up here in the thick of the blue states) but thankfully we are in a much better place financially than we were with kid #1. When she was born, our net worth was still negative (it turned positive at the end of the month she was born). Now we are closing in on $1.25M. :-D.
So there are some benefits of waiting… er, temporary infertility. No mini-van for us, though we are going to spend $200 this week on having the interior of our car detailed (an expense I think I can splurge for 1x every 10 years or so). 11 years of life and 7 years of sweet, sweet kid food between the cushions have left it with a less-than-favorable smell and, in my husband’s opinion, too many germs for an unvaccinated newborn!

Oh yeah – going from 0 to 1 is the biggest change! Then 1-2 is slightly better but still rough, and then from what i hear 3 is the easiest but I feel like people just say that so you don’t get scared even more ;) Regardless, congrats on your own new little bundle!

This might be baby Dunn ! If you are one of these really modern parents, you can tote baby naked all day and hold him over the toilet. Viola ! No diapers. Some people are so foolish. I keep promising hubby that baby oops isn’t planned.

My wife and I just had our 2nd child 3 weeks ago. We waited to find out the gender (also waited with our first) and it was so great. There are not many good surprises that you can control these days and this is definitely one of them.

It’s not for everyone and especially with your third you might want to find out but after we decided not to find out we didn’t even really think about it. Either way enjoy the ride!

Congratulations! Love your attitude and approach! “Gotta take your blessings when they’re given, even if they throw you for a loop!” – count this among the things I’ve learned since I became a mom in January. Best wishes for a healthy happy pregnancy.

Congrats J. Money, that is great news. Excited to see how your life/balance evolves when the new baby arrives. I love how you have focused your work and crammed as much as possible. You’ll find a way to get it done and do it in a way that balances everything out.

How exciting is that J$! So happy for you guys! We stopped at two because my philosophy was that we only have two hand lol! That’s awesome about your priorities about SAHD vs blogger too! I constantly struggle with this same thing and try to let the dad side win out first as much as possible!

Wow, congrats to you and your family! We have two little boys around the same age as your kids. People keep asking if we’re trying for a girl…we considered it but two is a handful! =) But the little ones are so adorable and awesome. I think a minivan is a must with 3 kids! I have a minivan since we often drive another adult or adults (usually grandparents). Minivans are awesome…very practical and I couldn’t care less about “image!” I love #4…I want to live more and work less especially when this time is so precious. It’s a difficult balance…how do I push for FIRE while working less??

It’s tricky, I know! I like to tell people I’m already retired right now “living the dream”, only I still very much need the money ;) Not sure if that’s a good way of thinking or not, but it keeps me sane haha

Great new, J! What a surprise! I do think it’s a bit annoying that healthy women of 35 are considered high risk. That’s a bit overkill! But fun that your wife got to find out the gender early. Great job cutting back on work and focusing on the family!

Wow! Congratulations!! I’ve only recently gotten back into your blog. I was around when the first one came along! Life sure has changed and is continuing to change for you guys. Look forward to the arrival of Baby Dime.

Congratulations! I hope that the pregnancy continues to go well! This sounds like a relatively pleasant looped to be thrown for now that other areas of your life are more in control. I’ve also switched to reading more physical books and my mood has improved greatly.

Also, congrats on being present and focusing on your family. It is so easy in the modern world for people to get caught up in the pursuit of achieving more and more ‘financial prosperity’, that we put aside achieving ‘primal prosperity’, which are the things that really matter in life… family being at the top of the list! :)

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