It’s amazing the transformation I can make from oversize t-shirts and Nike shorts at class on Friday to the finest ensembles the Oxford Square has to offer at the Grove on Saturday. Hotty freakin’ Toddy yall. TSM.

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Hope you enjoyed getting the shit kicked out of you by some rich, wrecked hick in Oxford after y’all got owned by the JSU Gamecocks. I’m sure it’s ok because you got a homecoming shirt from two years ago out of it when you ran back to your sorostitute house at five in the morning. Could his contractor, new-money daddy even afford to pay for your plastic surgery, or did yours have to?

Just because you’re some busted fatass Old row legacy at alabama and jealous of how some girls actually look pretty when they try doesn’t mean you have to hate on the ones that do. Go home to your socalled old money house in Mountainbrook and slit your wrists; although I’m sure you don’t have it, because no one who was raised in a good, wealthy southern family would be caught dead with your attitude.

Just because you’re some busted fatass Old row legacy at alabama and jealous of how some girls actually look pretty when they try doesn’t mean you have to hate on the ones that do. Go home to your socalled old money house in Mountainbrook and slit your wrists; although I’m sure you don’t have it, because no one who was raised in a good, wealthy southern family would be caught dead with your attitude.