What My Best Friend and I Say When We Talk About Our Breast Cancer

One year ago, one of my best friends was diagnosed with breast cancer — just a month after my diagnosis. Our journey's would be so different. She celebrated at my pre-chemo party with me (above, right) and the next day told me of her own diagnosis. We wrote this piece together shortly afterward, but she wasn't ready to share her story. Now she is. Now, just a year after her double mastectomy, Ashley Phillips is not only ready to share her journey, she's also an inspiration to me and will be to so many others when you read what she just did!

Phillips with her family.

Eva Qin Photography

My breast cancer is different than her breast cancer. I got to keep my boobs. She lost hers. I had 6 months of chemo. She didn't have any. I have no family history. Her mom is a two-time survivor. My hair is slowly growing back. She is still a beautiful blonde. I look in the mirror and see short spiky hair and still find it hard to believe. She looks in the mirror and sees scars that she is proud of and still finds it hard to believe. We are both strong. We are both positive (for the most part). We both have our moments.

We bump into each other at the hospital — on purpose during my chemo, and by chance for both of our many doctor's appointments.

Since I have been so honest and open about my journey, I receive calls and emails daily from others just diagnosed. Not with just breast cancer ... but all kinds of cancers. I speak to many women, men, patients and spouses daily. And we all inspire each other. When Ashley told me she was running the New York City half marathon exactly one year after her double mastectomy, I began to cry. I thought that her story needs to be told. Her journey, so different from mine yet so important for others to hear. This is another example that anything is possible. This conversation with Ashley Phillips proves it.

DENISE ALBERT: Did you ever think one year ago you would run again?

ASHLEY PHILLIPS: About one year ago, on March 30th, I was lying on my couch recovering from my double mastectomy wishing I could run the Brooklyn half marathon. I was signed up to run the race before I knew that I had breast cancer. I was so depressed that I couldn't do it. I made it my goal then that a year from then, if I was healthy, I would run my favorite race: the New York City half marathon.

DA: How did you train?

AP: After my reconstruction surgery in September, my surgeon gave me the okay to start running again in early December. I started running at a snail's pace. I was surprised how challenging it was. I was slow. I remember thinking, "I was really good at this ... what happened?" However, it is truly amazing how your body remembers. It wasn't long until I was back running 3 to 4 times a week.

DA: How did it feel?

AP: It felt amazing to be back at it and to feel like my old self again. I have always loved the "runner's high." It has always been how I would release stress and zone out. I thought it would feel strange to run with my new body. However, I was actually surprised how normal it felt.

Phillips looking strong after running the New York City half marathon.

Courtesy of Denise Albert

DA: Why was it so important for you to run?

AP: I wanted to show my little girls that Mommy could get back up even when life knocked her down; that if you stick to something and work hard you can accomplish anything. I could have sat back and made a million excuses for myself about why I shouldn't do the run. But I knew that wouldn't make me happy. I had to take the challenge to prove to myself that I was stronger than my cancer. That life goes on and it's my life to live the way I want to.

DA: What did it feel like to actually be running the half marathon?

AP: At the start of the race, I was excited. I felt back in my element surrounded by people that loved running as much as I did. I had my biggest fans, my husband and my two little girls, cheering me on and rooting for me. As soon as I ran over that finish line I was shocked by my emotions. I couldn't stop crying. Happy tears all the way home.

DA: What message to you want to send to others going through medical issues or changes to their bodies like a double mastectomy?

AP: Make a goal for yourself and stick to it. Prove to yourself that you're stronger than you think you are.

Denise AlbertDenise Albert is co-founder of The MOMS, a multi-media life style brand and event company.

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