Seriously man, I know times are tight for farmers nowadays, but you can’t bring yourself to invest in a freaking shovel? There are manure piles inside me as tall as some of your stallions! The stench is enough to kill a baby elephant!

If you really love me, you’ll shovel this crap up, and you’ll shovel it pronto. Otherwise I might “accidentally” collapse down on top of you the next time you decide to pay me a visit.