WWF RAW is WAR

31.1.0

BLAH

I GET LETTERS:
From JB: Just wanted you to know that there's another
guy who's sick as hell of
singing along with the Rock. It's funny to think, all these Rocky marks are
probably the same people who liked the New Kids on the Block when they were
cool, and then pretend they never did. We'll see who's laughing when
everyone else finally gets sick of the weakest finisher in wrestling
history.

Testify!

QUICK QUOTE:
WWFE 15 7/16 (-
9/16)

DISCLAIMER:
Blame civic duty

TONIGHT:
Championships will be decided LIVE on RAW! Kane (without Tori)
takes on Triple H for the WWF Championship! It's Olympic Champion vs. the
People's Champion as Kurt Angle takes on the Rock! Chris Jericho and X-Pac
once again for the Intercontinental Championship! You think they're
worried about Ric Flair? OH HELL YEAH! (Well, MAYBE.)

BLAH

RAW

5.2

TV-14-DLV One World Leader Attitude - WWF!

Cloesed captioned symbol - Opening credits

Let the pyro fly - WE ARE LIVE for a night of Champions from the Igloo in
Pittsburgh, PA 31.1.2K on the USA Network - tonight - RAW ... IS ... WAR!

NEW AGE OUTLAWS v. HEAD CHEESE for the
tag team championship - If you're
confused by the rapidity with which we go to a match, let me just tell you
that there's no point in the WWF trying to give us a promo opposite Ric
Flair, so we'll have this match now, and work on the storyline later.
Dogg's a poet - I didn't know that. Sing along with the Champs! If Snow
and Blackman won tonight, I'd be the HAPPIEST boy on earth. "All right,
listen up - I'm sick of all these names - Head Count, Snow Bunnies - and
especailly Head Cheese - now loock, we have a chance to win the tag team
titles tonight, so let's concentrate, go out there, and kick some ass."
"All right - but I've got one more - Snow Storm. Straight and to the
point, what do you think?" "Whatever." "Okay, Perfect! You're gonna need
this!" and he hands him a Bert & Ernie umbrella and a yellow slicker. "You
better bundle up, 'cause here comes the Snow Storm!" Blackman says with
every bit of emotion he can muster, "Knock it off! I'm serious!" "You're
not open to Snow Balls?" and he brandishes a jock strap. "Steve...Steve?"
Out they come and it's time for some WRESTLING - right? Holy crap! Screw
the wrestling, there's DEAN MALENKO,
CHRIS BENOIT, EDDY GUERRERO and PERRY
SATURN arriving and sitting in the front row!
"What the hell is going on
here? We know, it's all over the Internet, they thumbed their noses at
their last employer..." Well, it's over, folks. As Snow shakes their
hands, the Outlaws doubleteam Blackman. Dogg takes Blackman's head to the
corner, and fires away with rights, whip into the opposite corner is
reversed, monkey flip fails, elbowdrop misses, dropkick from Blackman.
Kick, off the ropes, reversed, slides under, enzuigiri misses, Dogg
dropkicks him in the back. Snow tags himself in, duck, left, left, juke,
jive, Snow grabs the right and delivers his headbutts - is Snow fired up
seeing his four old friends in the crowd? Off the ropes, reversed, Gunn in
the back, boot from Dogg, tag to Ass. Open shot, head to the buckle, Snow
slides out of the whip attempt, duck, neckbreaker by Gunn for 2. Powerbomb
coming up - but Snow breaks free, headbutts Ass repeatedly and covers -
nope. Off the ropes, Snow holds on - but runs into a press slam. Is that
a "head cheese" chant?" Ass splash in the corner - tag to Dogg. Dogg off
the ropes with the wiggly wobbly wooxly kneedrop - for 2. Another look at
the Four. Off the ropes, reversed, up and over, Dogg holds on, Blackman
clotheslines him from the apron. Snow stomps away as referee "Blind" Earl
Henber is distracted by Ass. Snow with a near fall. Dogg punches back.
Big-time face rake by Snow. Into the ropes, Dogg's trick knee acts up.
Hot tag to Gunn! Blackman in, Gunn on both men in a big way. Biiiiig back
body drop to Snow, got Blackman for the jackhammer - "See ya later, bitch!"
Snow breaks the count, though. Now Dogg in, and Snow out. Dogg following
- whip into the barricade is reversed - and Snow hits a flying heel kick!
Dogg falls into the front row - as he gets up, there's a staredown as Dogg
was in their laps - now Dogg takes a swing - punches are exchanged (!) and
Dogg takes the worst of it - everyone climbs over the barricade and to the
ringside area - as Hebner tries to control the other three guys stomping on
Dogg, Saturn is in the ring with a suplex on Ass - Guerrero with a frog
splash on Ass! Dogg rolled back into the ring - Malenko in with a suplex
for Dogg - in position for the TOP-ROPE HEADBUTT from Benoit on Dogg!
Snow's music plays (No final bell - No
contest? 5:00?) as the Four walk up
the ramp and back to the locker room - WHAT THE HELL'S GOIN' ON HERE??
Well, Ross said about a hundred times that they haven't signed a contract -
now WHY don't I believe him?

"Moments Ago" footage shows Dogg hitting Benoit first - so it's all HIS
fault. I wouldn't be surprised if that frog splash collapsed Gunn's
ribcage. There's Benoit's headbutt again. MAN it's good to see those four
guys in the WWF - Kidman's a dink, by the way. I hope he, Douglas and
Konnan are very happy

Cactus Jack thanks the Four for accepting his invitation. Saturn: "I
haven't had fun in a long time!" Jack asks them how it felt to look out
into the crowd - and see people! "Our fans pay to be here!" "The way to
get noticed in the WWF is to make a lot of noise - and we'll have a LOT of
fun - ALL NIGHT LONG..."

6.1

ANGLE
is out...and striking a familiar pose. "Finally, your
Olympic hero HAS COME BACK to Pittsburgh! And as you all know, I am STILL
undefeated here in the World Wrestling Federation! And tonight, I will
face - the Rock - thank you, thank you! And as history has taught us from
our previous encounter, the People's Champion is no match for the Olympic
champion!" "Rock E" chant. "And since this town has very little to cheer
about, I am officially naming myself YOUR NEW hometown hero! And we all
know it's not Mario Lemieux anymore - that's right - but if he had a little
more courage, maybe he would still be playing hockey today, and he would be
able to save the Penguins. But do not worry - where Mario left off - where
Mario left off - I will gladly take over, and to start tonight, your
Olympic hero will defeat the Rock for the second time, right here in this
ring, in front of his hometown fans!"

Here's the first of the three WWF SuperBowl commercials - a bunch of babies
pick up WWF mannerisms - that's probably the best one of the three

"WrestleMania 2000" for the N64 ad

Local spot hypes SmackDown! on UPN 44

WWF SmackDown! is coming to San Jose - whoops, no it's not! Once again the
ad only goes about five seconds before stopping in favour of the national
spot

And now, the Slam of the Week, brought to you by THQ's WrestleMania 2000 -
from SmackDown! last Thursday, Edge is powerbombed through Christian and a
table by Buh-Buh Ray Dudley

The Outlaws want to know what the Helmsleys are gonna do about the Four -
Helmsley says that those guys don't even work here, why'd they start all
that up by throwing the first punch? Just go beat their asses! Big Show
interrupts proceedings to show off his eyewitness, security dude Jim
Dotson. Dotson said from where he was standing, it looked like the Rock's
feet hit first. Helmsley says that isn't enough proof to give Show the
title shot - he needs some videotape evidence. Show says he'll bring it
Thursday - but his patience is short and he's about ready to just take what
he wants from Triple H. I guess I should note Tori sitting with X-Pac in
this shot - bleah

CHRISTIAN (with Edge - you think you
crow him) v. D-VON DUDLEY (with
Buh-Buh Ray Dudley) - Slugfest to start, off the
ropes we go, crossbody by
Christian (or, if you're Ross, "Edge"), repeated right hands, referee
"Blind" Tim White breaks it up. Dudley in control in the corner, whip out,
Christiadn up and over, gutshot, right, on the second rope, tornado DDT,
off the ropes, Buh-Buh Ray pulls his leg. Edge walks over, White outside
to keep him away, Christian with a springboard plancha onto Buh-Buh Ray.
Just to entertain me, Jim Ross embellishes every utterance of the word
"Dudley" with "damn" - "those damn Dudleys, that damn D-Von Dudley, these
damn Dudleys, those damn Dudleys" - Jesus, he's just BEGGING to get his ass
kicked. Christian back in - D-Von slides him into the ringpost. Pounding
away with rights, and kicks. Here's a double feature of Christian hitting
the ringpost as D-VOn hits a flying forearm smash. Big-time punches. Got
him up by the hair - that's a Slop Drop. Off the second rope - the
headbutt misses. Christian back with rights, big back body drop.
Apparently the Four are to be known as the Radicals. Atomic drop, side
Russian legsweep, 1, 2, no. Into the corner, Christian has a head scissors
- Dudley pulls him out of the corner and drops him to the mat face-first.
Christian reversing - setting him up for the Tomokaze - but Buh-Buh Ray is
up on the apron, distracting Christian, D-Von from behind, Edge up and in
the ring with a thrust kick right on the button, and Christian hits a Slop
Drop for the pin (3:21)
and once again, although the (damn) Dudleys have
lost the match, they'll win the war - Edge taken outside the ring over the
top rope, Edge dropped on the barricade head first. Buh-Buh Ray produces
two tables (Lawler: "Who puts those tables under there?") There's the
"headbutt to the graun" spot on Christian. Finishing the set up of the
table in the ring, Buh-Buh brings a chair into the ring, chair placed on
Edge on the table, but before they can do the spot, the HARDY BOYZ are out
and on the (damn) Dudleys. SUPER DDT OF D-VON THROUGH THE TABLE BY MATT!
Buh-Buh Ray taken into the STEEL steps. A second table is set up and
Buh-Buh is placed on it - Jeff with the SENTON BOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! The
REFS &
OFFICIALS
are out too late

2.0

6.4

as we watch some replays. Buh-Buh
Ray is bleeding from the mouth in an Edge-esque fashion. Big Show and too
Cool are NEXT! Let's git to the ads quicklike!

You know, I was just thinking. That last segment was all spots! Now that
I think about it, I have *no idea* WHY I enjoyed it so much!

Backsage, the Hardy Boyz, Edge & Christian are introduced to the Radicals -
and now the Mean Street Posse walk by and offer words of advice for the
strangers - "don't mess with us!" Cactus Jack offers a formal introduction
- and the Four promptly punk out the Posse with dispatch. Jack and the
others look on with amusement.

TOO COOL v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW in a
Handicap match - While I have you
here, I have to add that this week's show is just a LITTLE bit better with
Tony Chimel making the intros instead of Lilian Garcia - I'm sorry, but
that's just the way it is. Have I yet mentioned Show's new "I'm Buff and
I'm the Stuff" haircut? Did I follow it up with "What the HELL was he
thinking?" Well, I MEANT to. Last Thursday, Show did a number on the Rock
and also double-chokeslammed Too Cool - he's powerful, you see. We are
told that Rikishi is NOT in the house tonight - he had a bit of an ankle
problem following last Thursday (aha). They decide to rush him - and fail.
Taylor's out. Sexay down with one punch. Clubbing forearm in the corner,
whipped into the other corner, charge sidestepped, Scotty on the back,
Sexay dropkicking, twice, third is swatted away - Taylor taken over, double
dropkick, nope, double DDT DOES take the Big man off his feet. Double
clothesline, double legsweep. They're gonna make a wish - ouch. Sexay
choking away and it's time now for the Wurm. You'd be better served not to
pose here - Sexay into the big boot off (sorta) from the ropes - he's got
Hottie by the throat and up high - ahhhhhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAAM - boot in the
gut for Sexay - POWERBOMB! Scotty is covered - 1, 2, 3.
(2:15) No
sweat, mimes the Big Show.

We take a look at the Rock backstage

We come back to see the Big Show watching the EntertainmentTron showing the
Rock.

"Finally, the Rock has come back to Pittsburgh!" Rock says the Big Show is
no longer a long-haired seven feet five hundred pound piece of monkey crap,
he's a SHORT-haired seven feet five hundred pound sack of monkey crap. He
doesn't care about the eyewitness - just listen to the fans chanting his
name. Then he advises him to go back to Supercuts and get his five bucks
back. Turning his attention to Kurt Angle, the Rock says Angle NEVER (and
he means never) beat him (which is a lie), and tonight, he'll go out there
and win a gold medal for kickin' his candyass all over Pittsburgh...if ya
smell...and so on

Notice how never denies that he DIDN'T really win the Royal Rumble?

WrestleMania 2000 for the N64 ad #2 - I bet we get two more tonight before
it's all said and done...

All right! Another funny

2.1

6.7

The "Snow bunny" playing field is being prepared ...as we pan up to see

OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST, CELEBRATED REAL
ATHLETE, HOMETOWN HERO, INVENTOR OF
THE POLIO VACCINE, GROUND-BREAKING THEORIST AND ALL AROUND SWELL GUY KURT
ANGLE v. LA ROCA - Angle tries to attack before
the bell, and fails. Rock
quickly going to the stomps and punches as only he can. Head ot the
buckle. Right. "Rock E" chant. Off the ropes, Angle with a kick, Rock
with a clothesline. Angle goes outside. Rock follows. Here's a taste of
the barricade for you. Angle blocks a table shot, Rock blocks a table
shot, Angle FAILS to block a table shot. Rock appropriate's Ross' water
and spits in Angle's face. Finally Angle comes back, blocking a
timekeeper's table shot and delivering one of his own. "What is wrong with
you people? What is wrong with you? I was born in this town! I was born
five blocks from here in Mercy Hospital!" Rock from behind - and taking
the mic. "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU WERE BORN!" Dropping him on the
barricade. Hey, back in the ring! "Rock E! Rock E!' Vertical suplex
coming up - 1, 2, shoulder up. Rock with a right, right, right, right,
right, right, threatening referee "Blind" Earl Hebner, right, right, right,
right, threatening Hebner again, Angle with a low blow. Angle with a
belly-to-back suplex - 1, 2, NO! Angle puts Rock in the corner and punches
almost as many times as the Rock did. Standing on the neck. Angle trying
to quash the chant - and failing. Rock with punches, Angle with a
fantastic belly-to-belly suplex - but only 2. They wouldn't put Angle over
here, would they? Right, right, Angle choking blatantly, standing on the
neck again. Out of the corner, whip is reversed, Angle's boot is up,
running into a gutshot and DDT, however - 1, 2, NO! Right hand, right,
right, right, kissed right by the Rock. Off the ropes, reversal, but Rock
held on - Samoan Drop garners another 2 count. Angle rolls outside to take
a break - in fact, he's going ot leave - but TAZZ is out and putting him
back in the ring! Right, right, right, off the ropes, swung around into a
spinebuster - must be time for the People's Elbow - they say it's the most
electrifying move in sports entertainment history. 1, 2, 3! There's the
first pin of Kurt Angle - I think Rock owes Tazz a little something there.
(5:32)
Post-match, Tazz is ready to clothesline Angle outside the ring but
Angle ducks and runs off - and Tazz ends up taking off *the Rock's* head
with his clothesline before going after Angle. One would imagine that the
Rock couldn't be too happy about THAT....

Back in a dressing room, the Acolytes are trying to play cards - but the
Posse barges in demanding a little help. The Acolytes ignore them until
they offer to pay for their help - then they empty their pockets on the
table. After finishing their card game, they'll help them out, but before
they get THERE, a light goes off in Bradshaw's head - "hey, I got it! The
Acolyte Protection Agency!"

Chris Jericho (and Chyna?) are WALKING!

Meanwhile, X-Pac (and Tori) are WALKING!

Are you kidding me? It's only been ONE hour of this show? I have a
feeling my ShootAngle.com column is already obsolete!

The Farm Club is NEXT! You'll watch because Dr. Dre and Eminem ASKED you to!

The Radicals are introduced around to various folks - Venis, Test,
Godfather - heh heh, D'Lo Brown and Eddy Guerrero take turns saying "nice
MOVE" to each other - Saturn asks "where are the GIRLS?" which seems
strange, considering...well...you know

X-PAC (with Tori) v. CHRIS MONDAY
JERICHO (with RAW credits and TV-14-DLV
ratings box) for the Interchrisinental
championship - before the champ
enters, THAT SLUT
CHYNA is out with her Bazooka - you know, she
might
as well just strap on that thing between her legs before...oops, sorry.

2.2

7.2

As Chyna walks to the ring, we take a look at this week's Newsweek
cover and story about wrestling (pix of Rock, Chyna, and Vince McMahon)
hey, you know, if it weren't for that plane crash, that cover would have
been featured in the weekly MSNBC magazine cover roundup - the fickle
finger of fate... wait, why IS Chyna in the ring, then? Say, remember when
she had the DX thing going and had this relationship with X-Pac and and and
oh my head hurts. "All right, Pittsburgh! Welcome to RAW is JERICHO! And
X-Pac, I am THRILLED that you were able to hook up with Tori - for the
first time in your entire life - you finally got to kiss a GIRL! How'd it
feel? And even better than that, through some strange miracle, you've
found the one woman in the whole universe who's even more stupid than you
are! So maybe you can con her into giving you a full massage, after I give
you a beating that will never, EEEEEVER forget!" Oops, this is a NONtitle
match, sorry. Jericho stomping all over the place. WHY is Chyna out
there? Spinning heel kick from Jericho. Springboard dropkick onto X-Pac,
who flies from the apron to the floor. Outside goes Jericho - the chase is
on - X-Pac puts Jericho into the STEEL steps. Chyna apparently seconding
Jericho tonight even though she gets a separate entrance and a bazooka.
Back in the ring, X-Pac kicking away on him. Off the ropes, Jericho with
woooo chops, and a clothesline. Right hand, chop, into the opposite
corner, reversed, Jericho puts up an elbow, and runs into a spinning heel
kick from X-Pac - for 2. Rear chinlock from X-Pac - Jericho elbowing out -
right hand - off the ropes- double underhook into a backbreaker - but only
2. Right, off the ropes, dropkick misses - X-Pac comes off the ropes with
a Lightning legdrop for 2. Elbow to the back of the head. X-Pac has him
in the corner, there's an open-handed slap of his own. Knife-edge chop,
again (woooo!), and again. Jericho turns it around and does some chops of
his own. X-Pac reverses yet again, kicks, whip into the opposite corner,
Jericho steps aside and X-Pac crotches the second turnbuckle. Two punches
from Jericho, whip into the ropes, duck, flying jalapeno from Jericho, off
the ropes again, reversed again, Jericho with a powerslam for 2. Elbow to
the back of the head, reversed whip, martial arts kick from X-Pac. Head to
the turnbuckle, kick, suplex, X-Pac on the second rope and here's a fist in
the gut as he comes down. Jericho with the poewrbomb - 1, 2, DOUBLE
POWERBOMB! Lionsault - finds the knees! X-Pac puts his head on the
buckle, hits a spinning heel kick, set up for the broncobuster, but Chyna
pulls his feet out from under him - AND hits a right! Jericho puts him in
the Walls of Jericho - but Tori has the belt - WAFFLE - Jericho's out on
his feet and X-Pac hits a gutshot and the X Factor - 1, 2, 3.
(5:34)
Chyna, after clocking Tori, gets in the ring to check on Jericho.

Bradshaw brandishes an aPa logo for Faarooq. The Dudley Boyz appear and
ask for some protection against Christian & Edge and the Hardy Boys. They
don't have any money - but "we'll write you a cheque." Faarooq says
okay...but "if that cheque bounces - so do you."

Out come the Lumberjills for the next match - here's B.B., IVORY, JACKIE,
LUNA TUNES, MAE YOUNG, and FABULOUS MOOLAH. Apparently
it WASN'T a
bad dream - Young is still (for storyline purposes) pregnant. Already the
lumberjills are throwing snowballs at each other.

ERNEST

2.8

7.4

MILLER v. HERVINA for the
Women's Championship in a
Lumberjill "Snow Bunny" match - Kat is wearing -
well, not too much -
opening her robe to reveal a white bra and panties (complete with
cottontail right on the ass). Lawler: "I love a little fuzzy tail!" Ross:
"I know you do, buddy." Hervina (annouced from Intercourse, PA) is more
appropriately attired for the snow - and also to hide the fact that SHE'S A
MAN, BABY - anyway snowballs are flying everywhere - this match brought to
you by snowball.com, I hear - double leg takedown by Hervina - elbowdrop
misses. Kat throws Hervina into the snow. She's on the corner of the pit,
slips, but still manages to land on Hervina for 2. Shove into the snow.
Apparently, her thong is too far up the crack of her ass because we cut to
a crowd shot, and don't come back until she's been shoved back sitting into
the snow. Kat decides nutes to this, but Jackie won't let her leave.
There's some snow thrown in Jackie's ample cleavage, Jackie shoves her back
into the snow - or was it a snowball to the face? Hervina covers - 1, 2,
3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Women's champion.
(1:14)
MICHAEL
KING COLE is out to talk to the new Champion -
after asking where she's
from, a very masculine voice says "I'm from Walston, Mississippi" and he's
quickly outed as - oops, my bad, it's really HARVEY WIPPLEMAN. "That's
right! I'm harvey Wippleman - a LEGEND here in the World Wrestling
Federation and now I AM the World Wrestling Federation champion!" Cole has
the audacity to laugh at Wippleman, since he's the World Wrestling
Federation WOMEN'S Champion, and gets pushed into the snow for his
troubles. This leads to the lumberjills dogpiling Harvey (as well as
referee "Blind" Mike Sparks) and basically stuffing snow everywhere snow
can be stuffed. Oh boy, and they're all wet, and...I'll be right back.

Cactus Jack and the Radicals - are - WALKING!! Jack suggests making the
arrangement permanent - maybe they should go knock on Triple H's door...

Here's a look into WWF New York - is that Lilian Garcia in that crowd?
Ahhh, that explains that. Word is, we'll hear about a great big press
conference to take place here on Thursday...maybe later?

WrestleMania 2000 for the N64 ad #3 (#3, right?)

Cactus Jack tells Triple H that these are four of the greatest wrestlers of
all time, and they're willing to work for him! Well, him and Stephanie,
yeah. Jack says he's tired of seeing the Mean Street Posse on this show,
look at who he can have! H says this is THEIR show. Stephanie says that
they're just a bunch of troublemakers - they heard the stories - how they
spent all that time backbiting, fighting their management down south, and
even fighting amongst themselves! Benoit says all they want is an
opportunity. Triple H says he'll file the offer in his computer and
they'll think about it before he offers them an opportunity.

phonefree.com presents WWF No Way Out, from the Hartford Civic Center 27
February!

HARDCORE & CRASH HOLLY (with Scale
Holly) v. VISSSSSSSSSSCERA in a Handicap
match - Double clothesline from the big man to
start. Bealing Crash over
as referee "Blind" Teddy Long tries to get Hardcore outside. Off the
ropes, knockdown. Ten story vertical suplex. Off the ropes, alleged
spinning heel kick COMPLETELY misses but Crash sells it. That kick DOES
connect, off the ropes, tag, knockdown, off the ropes, Hardcore with the
Best Dropkick in the Business - Viscera falls into the ropes and as he's
tied up, Hardocre kicks away. Choke on the second rope. Ross says they
should sign the Four tonight and put 'em on SmackDown! Thursday. Crash in
and peppering him with punches - not really having an effect, but
Hardcore's kicks and chipping away at him. Viscera right back on Hardcore,
here comes Crash again - he's SPUNKY! Hardcore with a kick, choke, on the
second rope and choking again - Viscera to the face to stop THAT. Coming
up later, Austin interview highlights, Lilian Garcia from WWF New York, and
the commercial ABC banned! Holly kicking the knees, grounding the big man,
THE CROWD GOES MILD! Still working the knee - there's an elbowdrop, and
there's another. Dragging him to his corner, tagging Crash, who promptly
kicks on the OTHER knee - oops. Anyway, on the back, Viscera gets up -
Crash calls in Hardcore - no tag, but who cares. Into the ropes, reversed,
fat ass splash - Samoan Drop, Crash breaks it up. Hardcore to the eyes,

X.X

6.8

, tag to Crash - you know, it just doesn't work for him. Splash
misses - top rope - Thesz press attempt caught - there's a powerbomb -
Hardcore breaks it up at 2. Viscera up, got Crash - scoop - Hardcore going
up top to crossbody block the whole shebang, then outside to hold down the
leg. 1, 2, 3!!! (4:51)
Viscera is quickly back up to curtail the
celebration - he tosses Hardcore through the ropes, dumps Crash onto the
mat and then splashes him.

Your hosts are a pair of kings, LARRY
KING and JERRY
LAWLER. They
introduce the commercial rejected by ABC - I have no idea what was so
offensive about it, but then, I'm a young man and haven't been around the
world as many times as some of those Standards & Practices folks

Here's another look at WWF New York and the massive crowd that's gathered
there - apparently, they were handing out yellow sheets for signs at the
door

Here's an exterior of the arena. Tonight's show is sponsored by Chef
Boyaree Overstuffed Ravioli, Castol Motor Oily, and Burger King!

Here's highlights from last night's Halftime Heat interview with Steve
Austin. Why don't they have one of these with Droz? Oh...I see, it's all
about MONEY - oops, was that too controversial for ya? Anyway, you want
the specifics, go find the Heat report - hopefully it was covered there...

LILIAN GARCIA,
live from WWF New York, tells us that there will be a big
news conference this Thursday - all we are told about it is it will involve
the WWF - and pro football! Ross professes ignorance - like I'm supposed
to buy that. Anyway, we'll find out - THURSDAY!

WrestleMania 2000 ad #4 - may that be the last one until Thursday (since
"ever" would just be wishful thinking)

Hey, how about another Farm Club ad? All-righty!

MATT HARDY (with Jeff Hardy) v. BUH-BUH
RAY (DAMN) DUDLEY (with D-Von
[Damn] Dudley) - I'm a little surprised to not see
the Acolytes helping
them out, what with that cheque and all. Buh-Buh Ray has his trance face
on and sports some nice bruises. Ahh, HERE are the ACOLYTES as Dudley
rushes the ring, and promptly finds himself on the wrong end of a barrage
of punches and kicks from Hardy.

X.X

6.7

Dudley to the eyes to finally turn
it around. Open-handed slap - Hardy coming back - elbow from Dudley - back
and forth we go - off the ropes, Dudley with a clothesline. Right hand.
Head to the turnbuckle, open-handed slap, through the ropes, now
monopolizing "Blind" Tim White's time while D-Von - does nothing?? What's
up with that? Suplexing him back in. Stomping away - Hardy comes back
with a kick to the nards, right, right, choke, right, in the corner, out of
the corner, reversed, avalanche splash from Buh-Buh Ray. Into the corner,
Hardy puts a boot up, there's a tornado DDT. 1, 2, no! Off the ropes,
reversed, back body drop by Dudley. Asking for a chair - but D-Von threw
it over his head and Matt catches it! White warning him not to do it -
swing and a miss, clothesline ducked, WHACK (DQ 2:57) and before Jeff can
help on a doubleteam, the Acolytes come in and completely work over the
Hardyz. Here come EDGE &
CHRISTIAN as the [damn] Dudleyz hit 3D on Matt
Hardy - the Acolytes don't even let them in the ring, taking care of them
on the outside. Christian brought in the ring - 3D - Dudley Death Drop.
Now Buh-Buh Ray asking for a little help moving furniture. One, now two
tables - "I paid you, bitch! I paid you!" A third table is placed on top
of the first two. The Acolytes starting to think that what they paid for
didn't involved this - but going along with it for now. Buh-Buh Ray
throwing the top of the STEEL steps into the ring, and D-Von positioning
them at the centre of the apron. D-Von putting the boots to Jeff Hardy
while Buh-Buh Ray tells the Acolytes to "do your job" keeping Matt on the
top table. Jeff is placed on Buh-Buh Ray's shoulders - and there's the
poweromb THROUGH MATT, THROUGH THE THREE TABLES! For added effect, one
doesn't break! Here's replays from several angles - Buh-Buh Ray ain't
blinkin'. Ho-lee-shit.

Outside, Cactus Jack talks with the Radicals. "Even Triple H can't be
stupid enough to pass up on you..." and right on cue, here are the
Helmsleys in the picture. They've been thinking about it, and they don't
require their services in the WWF at the present moment - in fact, it's
probably time they left. A couple cops are produced to escort them away.
"We'll walk out - we've walked out of buildings before when we've not been
wanted." Jack: "Hey Hunter - I'M thinking, too - I'm thinking you've just
made a very big mistake..."

Here's a look at the four collectors' TV Guide covers - Ross and Lawler
reveal that last Thursday SmackDown! set record ratings with the President
Clinton's State of the Union Address as it's sole competition - then they
draw the obvious conclusions.

TREBLE H (with Stephanie Ono) v.
THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE
- This is actually a build from an angle during yesterday's Cleveland house
show - neat, huh? Champ enters first because TRADITION BLOWS. Or there's
an angle a brewin' - hey, where IS Kane? Triple H has THE STICK. First,
let's pause for this "slut" chant. "Kane-uh - now I know you're back
there." "Asshole" chant at this point. "Now Kane, you're probably sittin'
in some hole back there, shakin' like a leaf, cryin' - I can't very much
blame ya - I wouldn't want to get in the ring with me either - I mean let's
face it - after the week you've been having - I mean, you can't hang with
X-Pac, I mean, really - you can't HANG with X-Pac, so Tori's gotta dump
your burnt little ass and go with a real man... You've been beat up,
you've been humiliated, and now you have to come out here before ME -
before The Game - before the Man - before the World Wrestling Federation
Champion,

X.X

7.3

and you have gotta get your ass handed to you LIVE on
national television - I can't blame you for standing in the back,
cowering...so Kane, I tell you what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna give you a
chance to come out here and be a man. If you don't, I'm gonna come back
there and drag your Big Red Ass in this ring - let's get this done one way
or the other - Kane, you've got ten seconds to come to this ring. Ten,
nine, eight, shut the hell up, I'm trying to count - seven-uh, six - ah to
hell with this, I'm coming to get you." But CACTUS JACK's music plays -
and here HE is at the top of the ramp. Stephanie takes third headset,
woof. "Triple H - Triple H - I invited four guests at my request to the
World Wrestling Federation - and you had the gall to throw them out of the
building? Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Eddy Guerrero - four
men that I have bled with, four men that I have sweated with, four men who
can tear the house down in any country in the free world! And more
importantly, four men that I actually like - and you throw them out?! You
see Triple H, you said you had to do somet thinking, well I did some
thinking on my own. You see, I sat back there, I thought 'well Cactus
Jack, maybe I'll just forgive and forget.' 's not gonna happen! Then
Triple H, I thought about letting bygones be forgotten - the most
ridiculous thought I ever had - and now what I'm thinking through this
brain is that maybe I'll just come in and take a piece of your ass. And
throw it to the ground in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!" He rushes the ring
and waylays all over him. Bangbang! Bangbang! Stephanie, who has joined
the commentators, lets us know that she hates Cactus Jack. Running knee in
the corner. There's a clothesline and now everybody's outside. H manages
to put Jack's face into the STEEL steps. Shut up, Stephanie, sheesh. Back
in the ring, belt shot - MISSES! Off the ropes, he holds on and rolls out.
Stephanie definitely suffering from "Shane-itis" on the mic. All we need
is a "Booyah!" As Helmsley backs up the steps, the RADICALS are out again
and taking him back into the ring. Four-way beatdown ensues - this is the
WWF Champion they're taking to school! Cactus Jack's music plays again.
Benoit with a knife-edge chop. Helmsley sent into Jack once again, who
once again delivers a belt to the head. They all walk off together up the
ramp - Cactus Jack, Eddy Guerrero, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, and Chris
Benoit. Remember these names, folks. Credits are up - we are outta time!