Jim Harbaugh wearing $8 khakis from Walmart famously became part of the Jim Harbaugh uniform late in the 2013 season, much to the amusement of everyone. Harbaugh was even caught in the wild buying Walmart khakis. Naturally, a company saw this thing people liked and figured there was a way to make money off it. And so Jim and his wife, Sarah, did a fake-PSA commercial for Dockers to put a stop to Dad Pants, as though Dockers aren’t also Dad Pants.

Harbaugh’s media session on Wednesday was at times acrimonious as he had little interest in discussing his feelings about the holdouts by Vernon Davis and Alex Boone, but it did include this exchange with a local reporter:

“Are those the good pants you’re wearing today?”

The good pants? Harbaugh has no idea what that meant.

“The ones in the ad, when you’re barbecuing and stuff. Are those those pants,” the reporter asked.

No, Harbaugh answered, though he admitted he owns a few of them.

But then why, Jim, won’t you wear them? Even now that you have a pile of them, and a lovely wife who so clearly wants you to look more fashionable?

Look, everyone knows that Coach Harbaugh tells the press one thing and does another. I’m sure that he would be willing to ditch his Walmart khaki’s if another manufacturer made a pair that was younger, faster, more heavily decorated and was more efficient on the seams.

How glorious would it be if the new stadium was named Walmart Stadium? Besides free khakis for Jim, I would love all of the outrage from the wine and cheese crowd who was hoping it would be called Whole Foods Stadium.

I haven’t been this disillusioned since I found out the truth behind Leonard Little’s “Don’t Drive Drunk and Kill a Woman Then Get Off With Probation, Even When You Get Popped For DUI Again Later ” PSA.

I hate all parties that allowed fucking Dockers to position itself as the cool alternative. Dockers could never be made to look cool – even if a cool person wore them, the pants would suck the cool out of that person and fling it into the universe as dark matter.