I am delicate and fragile. I need to be protected and not just training me up to be strong.I am a parasite. I need someone who I can depend on and not just training me to be independent till I dont need you in my days.I am blunt and agressive. I need someone who appreciate my blunt and agressiveness during work.I am constantly in anxiety. I need someone who could calm me down during my stress moment.I am a doubtful. I need someone who can give me assurance.I am a stubborn bitch. I need someone who can just accept how stubborn I am and move on. And if things go wrong, I will crawl up to you like an obedient little kitten and apologise to you the things I have done wrong.I am a dumb and self-centre lover I need someone who can tell me what he wants. I cant guess what you want because I cant read you. I am self-centre but my love is abundance. I show all my love in a period of time and then no love for a moment and then love in abundance again. I need someone who can accept my love epidemiology.I am a moody and emotional person I need someone who can withstand my emotions. I am cranky like a baby due to my stressful environments. I am moody because I do not know how to solve it. I am emotional because I am full of hormones.I am a fairytale person. I need someone who can make my fairytale comes true.

I miss out alot of things in life due to my studies and work.I asked myself each and every time if it worths, I simply cant reach for an answer.

I am uncertain of what I want and what I need.However, I am very sure I could not lose every of you(s).I am confused with all the feelings I had.I asked myself that do we love each each because we could not find someone better to love or we simply for no reason just love like Allie and Noah.If so, why do we live under our darkness?Am I the only one who crave for fairytale where it would be just a dream?

A very good friend of mine told me this, "Life is always a fairytale, if you believe in it and have someone to make, it's an everyday fairytale for you."I never be able to forget this statement. I begin to ask myself that are we too afraid to let go or we are loving each other too much.You told me that our love has grew to matured love,is this how a matured love like?I am not seeking for puppy love anymore.I need someone who could bring the best out from me.

"People think depression is about being sad. They think it’s just when you ‘feel down’. It’s not. It’s like a darkness that creeps over you and fills you. It drains all your emotions. It takes everything from you, and leaves you feeling hollow and numb. It’s not sadness, it’s not anger, it’s hopelessness. Imagine waking up and there being no color. Walking outside and feeling no wind. Eating a meal and tasting nothing. Holding someone and feeling completely alone at the same time. When you’re depressed, it’s not a bad mood. It’s a numb, empty, hollowness that seems to never leave. It’s feeling alone in a room full of people. You feel like there’s no hope left."

Within our relationship, we need to understand that it’s not all about fun and games. Sometimes we will go through tough times. Times that will deliberately push us to the limit of our breaking point. It’s not that we don’t want it to happen, it just does. All we can ever do is fight for what we have. Don’t let is slip away this easy because you never know that what you have right now may be the best you’ll ever see. Show them how much worth they have to you, show them you’re not ready to let go, show them you’re not going to let go.

Though you may be going through this downhill stage in your relationship, always remember to fight. It’s the effort that counts. Remind them why you love them, remember the times where you were at your happiest. Bring back those memories to where you made them last. The butterflies, the smiles, the love. All you can ever do is prove to them how much you love them. Don’t let go so easily, bring back that joy into your relationship. I know how much you really do love to see them smile. Don’t you miss the way they smiled at you? If so, please don’t let go. This relationship of yours is worth too much to throw away. Make it last. And always remember that you’ll do anything just for a shot of their love.

I am so busy recently with my thesis write-up.I used to believe that writing up a thesis would be the same as writing any report during my undergrad.

However, it is different! The stress pressure is high. You will get more panick when the deadline is closer as each day passed. Plus, making figures were the worst ever, I can feel my eyes are sore now. It is 5.31AM here and I am still up doing results!

Do you see this guy? Alexander Watson. Yes he’s Emma Watson’s brother. But he’s more than that, he is one of my real idols, his past inspires me on how to live my life better.

In this picture he may seem to be smiling like any other normal, happy, blessed child but what you don’t know is his past. In actual fact he isn’t completely Emma’s brother, he’s her step brother. He was adopted approximately a year just before Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone started filming and originally he was supposed to cast for Draco Malfoy. One day the producers found out about his past and was negligent about casting him, getting worried that if Alexander became famous one day, crazy fans would dig up his past, exposing it and end up embarrassing him.

So this is what happened to Alexander, at the age of 3 his biological parents had died in a terrible car accident when they were on their second honeymoon. His biological uncle had been “looking” after him while they were gone, after the terrible tragedy, Alex’s uncle became his respective guardian and was to take care of him until the age of 18. However what the Judge didn’t know was that during the time Alex’s biological parents had been away, Alex was constantly sexually harassed and touched by his uncle. His uncle even made him sit in a dark room with no lights naked and cuffed him to the chair for over 30 hours with no food and only a bowl of rain water. When he became older he started to realise that this wasn’t normal and often tried escaping his uncle. He tried running away to a neighbours house at the age of 5 but his uncle still managed to find him. Alex then became hooked with bad habits such as stealing and hurting other kids. All of these actions were reflected from his uncle’s actions. Then one day he was caught stealing a toy from a store with a couple of his friends in their school uniforms, his school was called and they were all suspended. Alex was then arranged a meeting with the principal of his school and counseling sessions. Alex’s 10th birthday marked the day his life finally became better starting from one of his counseling sessions, he was really upset because his uncle had just abused him the night before and he unconsciously told his councillor.

The councillor found this odd and ordered an investigation, it turns out the uncle really had been doing all these horrible things to him but Alex still had the resilience to keep on trying and living. The night before his uncle went to trial Alex prayed to God, he was considering on ending his life earlier than others since he didn’t believe God had given him a fair life. God heard his prayers and the next day God sent a young couple (Emma Watson’s biological parents) to visit Alex, they pitied him and took him in since at the time they were confirmed not able to have babies (but obviously they were blessed and managed to have Emma watson, which was once again God’s work and miracles to her family and all of us). Alex’s biological uncle was sentenced to 30 years.

So, all I’m trying to say is that God has a plan for your life. Don’t end it just because you think you can’t do this anymore. You can. Give it to God, give all your troubles to God and he will deal with them, I promise. Trust and have faith in God and good things will come your way.

Alexander inspires me to just live life to its fullest and just his story, it means so much to me. It may be “just another story” for you, but for me it’s not. It’s so inspiring and since he’s had such a rough past, it’s amazing how God can just turn that all around.

If the hero never comes to you If you need someone you're feeling blue If you're away from love and you're alone If you call your friends and nobody's home You can run away but you can't hide Through a storm and through a lonely night Then I show you there's a destiny The best things in life They're free

Chorus:

But if you wanna cry Cry on my shoulder If you need someone who cares for you If you're feeling sad your heart gets colder Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh let me know There's a place in heaven where we'll go If heaven is a million years away Oh just call me and I make your day When the nights are getting cold and blue When the days are getting hard for you I will always stay here by your side I promise you I'll never hide

Repeat chorus

What real love can do What love can do What real love can do What love can do What real love can do What love can do

“And I love you more than I did before. And if today I don’t see your face, nothing’s changed, no one can take your place. It gets harder everyday. Say you love me more than you did before, and I’m sorry it’s this way. But I’m coming home, I’ll be coming home. And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay.”

The hardest part is always wanting to be with each other. But the only thing that makes it easier, is using every alternative method there is to be together. Phone, webcamming, etc. Settling for what we have at the moment pays off in the end though.

It’s a test. Seeing how much we really want to be together. Whether we want to enough, to be patient and deal with all the bullshit that happens before the next time we see each other, or finding out that it was all just a waste of time and effort. I don’t want it to be a waste of time. I don’t think you do either.

But until then, I’ll be happy with what we can have right now. Because a little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing. And a little bit of something means a whole lot of everything if it’s with you.

He was a wonderful man. And when a man is that special, you know it sooner than you think possible. You recognize it instinctively, and you’re certain that no matter what happens, there will never be another one like him.

I’m afraid of time…I mean, I’m afraid of not having enough time. Not enough time to understand people, how they really are, or to be understood myself. I’m afraid of the quick judgments and mistakes that everybody makes. You can’t fix them without time. I’m afraid of seeing snapshots instead of movies.

”Don’t attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you’re lonely. Loneliness is the human condition where no one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself and know what you want.”(Source: eletheowl)

I’m scared. I’m scared I am going to lose you. Scared your going to fall in love with someone else. Scared that we’re going to change and become different people. I’m scared of so many things when I am with you. But I cant help it. I don’t care if we’re too young, and I don’t care if we’re at different points in our lives. All I know is that I love you too much already, and for once I can honestly say I’m happy.

I want you to moan. I want you to gasp in my ear, pretending like you’re trying to hide the sound, like you’re trying to smother it, but I still hear it. I want your fingernails to dig into my skin and your lips to move faster and harder and deeper against mine. I want your eyes to roll back in your head and your body to push into mine, until we’re sticking to each other’s skin. I want to feel the heat radiating from your skin, I want to feel your muscles shake against my flesh. I want you to beg and I want you to throw your head back, shuddering for breath. I want your neck to be exposed for me to bite and your chest to be bare so it can be skin on skin, flesh on flesh. I want my legs wrapped around you, I want us to grind on each other so hard it makes your muscles clench and your jaw drop and your face to tense in ecstasy.

The best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and best friends. It’s when you have more playful moments than serious moments. It’s when you can joke around, let each other have piggy backs, have unexpected hugs and random kisses. It’s when you two give each other that specific stare and just smile. It’s when you’ll rather stay in to watch movies, eat junk food and cuddle, than go out all the time. It’s when you’ll stay up all night just to settle your arguments and problems. It’s when you can completely act yourself and they can still love you for who you are.