Friday, June 29, 2012

BSNYC Friday FUn CKwiz!

Firstingly:

This blog will be closed next week.

Actually, it won't technically be closed, since you're free to enter and wander about wherever you'd like. It's just that I won't be updating it, nor will anybody be around to clean the bathrooms. If you're wondering why I'll be gone, the detailed answer is because I have to do some stuff. However, once I've did that stuff I'll be back on Monday, July 9th with regular updates.

Secondingly, speaking of America's Favorite Family Fun Park, this coming week Americans will observe Independence Day. If you're unfamiliar with this holiday, it's a magical time during which we take a break from shooting at each other with guns and instead focus on blowing ourselves up with fireworks:

Actually, the narrator of the above video sounds like he might be Canadian, but almost melting your face off with a Roman candle mounted to a department store bike is still very much in the July 4th spirit.

Thirdsly, tomorrow begins the annual touring of France known as the Tour de France, during which the fastest riders in the world who are not injured, suspended, or incarcerated will compete to win the fabled mayo jawn, which is the second-most coveted prize in cyclesport (the first being an exoneration in a doping investigation). Amazingly, it's now gotten to the point that the favorites are last year's winner Cadel Evans and no year's winner Bradley Wiggins:

("Where the hell did I leave my sunglasses?")

The hopes of an entire nation rest on those sideburns, and it will be sad to watch those hopes slowly sink like a bunch of kittens adrift on a pond in a boat made from construction paper. Of course, if he does win, I'll gladly travel to the UK and publicly eat my hat, but only because that's still vastly preferable to partaking in British cuisine.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz, which you'll have a whole extra week to complete. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then get excited and punch the cat, and if you're wrong you'll see the Shark bike.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and if you must light fireworks please refrain from pointing them directly at your face. I look forward to seeing you again, faces intact, on Monday, July 9th.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) Amazingly, the cycling media continues to treat Levi Leipheimer like a serious contender in the Tour de France.

7) The film "Fixed Gear Addis Ababa" is about a rider who, after being forced to walk his fixie up a hill in Ethiopia, experiences the epiphany that he should just grow up and get a bike with derailleurs already.

@Anon 10:05 - exactly, it's his head, his choice, his responsibility. Wearing a helment, probably good idea, though that should be a factor of the risk of the situation/activity. Mandatory helmet laws , not so much.

Today, Phil noted that he hoped the reverberations of the passing peloton would not crack the glass in an ancient French cathedral. That's it, we're moving this party to France, Phil is bogarting the good stuff.

The new Cannondale Evo is made of ballistic crabon developed for the military -just in time for the Tour De Iran. It's even stronger that those old shit aluminum frames some company used to sell, now being used to purify weapons grade uranium.

It was fun listening to Sherwin today explain the concept of 'DZ Nuts' to the 8 people watching the TdF on a flat day with 75 km still left who actually don't understand the concept of chamois cream, and why it's needed.

It's _mostly_ coffee beans. It's ok, I use the 'ole Kopi to wash down that half bottle of Cymbalta I take every morning.After that, I have no issues with listening to a man in France talk to me about smearing creme on his scrotanus.

I regret to report that Dmitri Fofonov was caught up in that train wreck with 25 km to go and finished 13:24 behind the stage winner, thereby putting a serious dent in his hopes for a podium place in Paris. He is now, as Paul would say, in a spot of bother.

Phil: Well, it’s a beautiful day here in France as the peleton is keeping this breakaway under control. Currently, the four riders in the escape have a 10-minute lead, and I think they have a very good chance of staying away, unless the pack catches them.

Paul: I agree Phil – However, I am concerned that if the peleton make up the time gap they will catch them, unless they don’t. Which would be absolutely unbelievable.

Phil: At any rate, this is a beautiful part of France – look at that scenery! Fields, mountains and rivers. Apparently, France is the only country in the world that has fields, mountains and rivers.

Paul: Unbelievable, the rivers around here.

Phil: And now the riders are proceeding through the lovely little town of Scenic Vista, a delightful village at the foot of the Mountains, with a river running through it.

Paul: Surrounded by…..

Phil: Fields.

Paul: Unbelievable. This was actually the little town where in 1743, Eddy Merckx actually rode his bike through the main street and out the other side without actually falling off. Should we tell our viewers who Eddy Merckx was?

Phil: I think it is important to continue to talk to our viewers as if they have zero knowledge of bikes and bike racing, so, boys and girls, Eddy Merckx was a very good rider indeed.

Oh, you non-helmet people are so tiresome. My head, my choice, blah blah blah--until you crash and bash your stupid brains. Then you're all Somebody-help-me-quick-Take-me-to-hospital. Let your precious choice take your concussed brains to the hospital--or better yet home to contemplate the results of your stupidity. Do what you want, but don't expect society to clean up after you.

...wow...a lotta guys paid a big price today but garmin & rabobank in particular took it in the fucking shorts...

...hated to see hesjedal lose so much time when he was working on a nice underdog gc status but that last shot of van summeren slowly but bravely pedaling in, jersey absolutely shredded, was too fucking sad...

...& is peter sagan just THAT good or is he spending, to paraphrase mikeweb paraphrasing a world famous yet deceased astronomer "...billions & billions..." of swiss francs on a top notch chemist ???...

BGW, as I mentioned, I was right on the finish line at Big Bear during the ATOC 2 years ago. Sagan won handily. At the finish, he was fresh as a daisy. He looked like he was just arriving back from a Sunday morning coffee run.

This was a climber's stage, and as the other finishers came in, they all looked like death warmed over.

I told my wife then and there that we would be hearing a lot more about the kid in a few years time.

I wonder if he can still climb, or if he has muscled up too much as a sprinter. I guess we'll find out right soon, no?

BGW @ 7:34 -- Well, I love the sport of professional bicycle racing, and I always enjoy watching the argy-bargy at the front end of the main field as they chase down the break, who are digging into their valises of valor ...

But since I'm not 12 years old any more, I don't think of these guys as heroes, and I don't particularly identify with them. So if one of 'em goes down on a drug charge later, it's "meh".

On an intellectual level, I wonder if doping really may have become the exception rather than the rule. I suspect that at the team level, directors may have finally understood that doping has the potential to dry up sponsorships and make the sport go away. At this point it looks like individual riders are doping on their own initiative, and those violations are getting less blatant. Remember Ricco and Piepoli a while back? They both had huge jumps in performance with sustained power numbers that were way too high -- and they got caught.

So signs point to it improving, though by how much, only the riders and their shadowy Italian doctors know.

Dope only gives you an unfair advantage over people who can't afford it (or the ones who don't want tits and do want working testes). Riders who aren't doping should refer to rule 5.

In other news. I'm still punching the box(cat?) but now it smells REALLY rank, has an attendant army of flies, and a helment!

Nothing fancy, just an old Nutcase with pictures of jelly beans on it that I bought cheap at the local co-op. I don't think box(cat?) really cares about graphics. Which leads me to this question: Should I tape up the vents? Does box(cat?) actually need to be more areo? I'm leaning towards "probably"

Professional hit on Sanchez (2008 Olympic Road Race Champion) or what? Had to be an Italian jobber. To smooth for English or even French criminal element. Dislocated shoulder and borken collar bone. OUt for the duration. Nice to see professionals at work.

Couple of more accidents like this and an Enlander might actually win the 2012 Olympic Road Race.

After a week off the commenting sprinters are looking for a good result on a relatively flat course. There is a .000000001% uphill grade so the punchy guys like BGW, CC, WIWM and Kenny will have a strong go.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!