Sometimes I really can't stand people. I hate it when people overreact and blow things out of proportion. I hate melodrama. I hate it when people do things just to get attention. Life will suck sometimes, but we just need to try to move on. Never ever take anything for granted. Sometimes you do need help, so don't push people away. The next thing you know, you're alone if you do.

Sometimes I feel like an observer. I watch what everyone does in the background, and no one ever sees me. I feel like I'm suspended over nothing. My biggest fear is that the tears will stop and I won't feel anything. I don't want to be numb. If I'm sad, I want to cry; I'm deathly afraid that something bad might happen and it won't affect me at all. I don't want that to happen; I don't want to adapt to sadness that much.

I cried more than I ever had before at the Relay for Life last night. I try not to think about the fact that Michael's dead, and I did then. He was so full of life and so happy--then he was gone. I missed my chance because I was afraid.

Please, don't ever miss out on something you want more than anything. God knows I learned that lesson the hard way. Please understand, I didn't write this for sympathy; it's how I feel right now.