So, you finally landed a job writing for a big, hot-shot Internet company. Your mother must be so proud to see what you’re producing for Yahoo! Shine! Unless, of course, she’s like my mother. In that case she’d be appalled to see that you don’t know compliment from complement and that you think pharaoh is a proper noun:

She’d be mortified to think that you put an apostrophe in the plural Kardashians:

She’d be ashamed to realize that you didn’t bother to research Wilson Phillips and Chynna Phillips — just so you got the spelling right:

If your mother is like mine, she’d be grateful that you have a job — and that this article doesn’t have a byline.

But if you’re looking for something that goes well with your wardrobe, you’re looking for something that complements your clothes. Pay no attention to the writer behind Yahoo! Shopping who suffers from homophonic confusion.

Imagine you’re the senior fashion and beauty editor for Yahoo! Shine. Do you think that if you spelled a name correctly once, you could do it again? Nope. This is supposed to be Ihamuotila:

As a fashion editor, wouldn’t you try to spell a designer’s name right, even if it’s Noora Niinikoski?

Imagine not knowing Edie Sedgwick. And not knowing the year. And thinking that makeup could compliment anything (“Your ensemble is fabulous”). Wouldn’t makeup that complements an ensemble be more impressive?

I see that misspelling wasn’t a typo:

Imagine you’re a senior editor for Shine. Would you want your name associated with this?

Some writers have problems with spelling, grammar, and word choice. For them, the services of a competent editor is as necessary as a reliable laptop. But for the writers for Yahoo! Shine, editorial services are an apparent luxury, and writers are left to deal with their literary demons on their own.

Such is the case with this writer, who is unable to complete an article without offering a multitude of mistakes, starting with the opening paragraph:

If you’re referring to the region of the United States, West Coast is a proper noun. If you’re writing a series of nouns, don’t squeeze in a verb.

Lace to dress: You look fabulous! That’s one way a bit of lace might compliment a dress. If, however, the lace improves the appearance of the dress, then it complements it:

Well, the duke and duchess will be attending the BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television Arts) awards. I think the writer almost communicated that, but had a few problems:

The writer’s grasp of geography is as tenuous as her grasp of English. Santa Monica is not in LA; it’s in LA county.

And her knowledge of designers like Diane von Furstenberg isn’t any better:

Look! Look! It’s a repeated word!

She also has a problem with using the Shift key on her keyboard, capitalizing a word here:

and neglecting to capitalize Pacific here:

That’s just one writer’s many writing issues. But as readers of Terribly Write know, there are many more writers working for Yahoo! with many more writing problems.

If you can’t spell, don’t know anything about fashion or movies, you have no business writing a Fashion Report Card for Yahoo! Movies. But you’re the perfect candidate for a Writing Report Card! Let’s take a look at some of your musings and let’s give them a grade (and maybe a snarky comment).

Misspelled glamourGrade: D-
The only reason you didn’t get a failing grade is that it’s almost understandable. The adjective form is glamorous, so perhaps you thought the noun form was glamor. It isn’t and a spell-checker would have told you that.

Misspelled makeupGrade: D
Depending on the authority, the noun is either makeup or make-up. According to all authorities, it’s not make up.

Misplaced word; misspelled Elie SaabGrade: F
This should be “but sometimes even icons get it wrong.” There’s no excuse for misspelling Elie Saab.

Oh, dear. It’s too bad the writer for Yahoo! TV‘s “Primetime in No Time” doesn’t have the benefit of a competent editor to clean up his grammatical gaffes. A good editor might supply the missing word, capitalize Hollywood, and substituted the right complement here:

LeBron would probably get his camel cap (that capitalized letter appearing mid-name) and Charlie’s Angels would be pluralized without an apostrophe:

The rookie mistakes of the misplaced period (in the U.S., it goes before the closing quotation mark) and divided backyard (it’s one word) might be avoided:

It’s got to be a record, even for Yahoo!. How many homophonic errors can one writer make in a single article? Quite a few, if that writer works for Yahoo! Shine. And other errors abound, too. Like the use of nice instead of nicer. Of course, your appears in place of the correct you’re:

The split workweek (it’s one word) is a minor error, but it’s is just horribly wrong:

As are you’re and whomever, here:

(The word should be whoever, since it’s the subject of the verb is footing.)

I can’t believe this gaffe slipped by the editor (assuming there is an editor):

A gift that compliments “the in-kitchen course” would have to be a pretty clever gift (“Oh, nice recipe you got there.”):

More likely, the writer meant complement, meaning “goes well with or completes.” But what the heck did the writer mean here:

Anybody got a guess? My guess: The writer was in a hurry, didn’t read what she wrote, and didn’t ask for the support of an editor or proofreader. If she had, this typo might have been corrected: