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Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Rebecca Black is Annoying!

Once in a while, we encounter somebody/something that is so annoying that we pray that it would leave our minds and lives the very moment it makes an appearance. It could be an irritating advert on television ("Go com-paaaaaaare!"), a strict teacher at school who gives too much instruction without actually teaching (yes, they do exist!), that gorgeous out-of-this-world boyfriend who continuously picks his feet/nose as you both snuggle up on the sofa (God forbid!), Lady GaGa (do I really need to explain this one?), or a tune that's so catchy, it rapes the hell out of your ears.

Speaking of the latter, there is a song on youtube that is currently getting on everyone's nerves, yet it has received more hits than the "Bed Intruder Song", which I wrote about a couple of months ago. The difference between the two is that Antoine Dodson's unconventional attempt was aimed at the rapist who had attacked his sister in her own home, but it still managed to be infectious while carrying an important message, and Dodson doesn't take himself seriously, which only adds to his appeal, bless him. Rebecca Black, on the other hand, is trying so hard to become a serious artiste with the heavily-auto-tuned "Friday" and fails woefully, but for some bizarre reason she last week managed to obtain more hits than Dodson, although judging by the comments left by angry youtube users, people had only logged on to heap insults on Rebecca. And who can blame them?

The song's video commences with Rebecca waking up in the morning looking tousled but cute. Seriously, who on God's earth looks that good so early in the morning? She even wakes up singing with a suspiciously auto-tuned voice, and wastes valuable lyric space by singing about cereal. Honey, if you ate porridge as opposed to Frosties every morning - oatmeal as opposed to Frosted Flakes if you're American! - you'll be less hyper, and sane enough not to record that stupid song. Just as you are beginning to think that you have seen/heard the worst, she stands at the bus stop waiting for a bus - of course - and ends up with a convertible driven by a gang of underaged teenagers (in England you could be prosecuted for parking in a space meant for buses). Instead of acting like a responsible girl and urging them to return their father's car, she ponders over whether to take the front seat or the back seat. Here's my advice, love - take the bloody boot (trunk if you're American)! As if that's not enough, three of the back seat occupants, including Miss Black, loose the seatbelts and proceed to dance while the car is moving at top speed. A couple of years ago, a Diet Coke commercial featuring British singer Duffy was pulled from television because she was cycling without a safety helmet. What was the "Friday" video director thinking? Cut to the guy who looks like he's in the wrong video, rapping about everything and nothing; his street cred just flew out of the window, ha ha! And whoever teaches this girl English should be shot; there's a line in the song that goes "We so excited". Really?

All this while she sings the most annoying, soulless, useless lyrics you ever heard. Even Jedward are better than her...by far!

Danish version

People have made fun of Justin Bieber for months, claiming that he can't sing, which is a lie because although I do not own his album, I know that he is talented, really talented - he can sing. Maybe they are just jealous because he became so successful so soon. Same with Lady GaGa, who may be equally irritating, but is without doubt a true artiste who deserves all the success she now has. However, if the same thing happened to Miss Black based on this song alone, then music the world over is doomed because let's face it, she probably hasn't worked as hard as Bieber or GaGa - or the X Factor finalists. Instead she is yet another puppet whose strings are being manipulated by an evil Svengali... oh dear.

If those youtube users hate her that much, they should stop leaving those horrible comments because by doing so, they are indirectly watching the video, and thus making her more famous. Don't get me wrong, even I myself am a fan of cheesy poppy music (I have a Jedward poster on my wall at home - honest!), but there is annoying, and there is annoying. At least the tuneless twins from Dublin are entertaining while refusing to take themselves seriously, but the song "Friday" has no redeeming qualities...at all. "Friday" is not a song; it's perversion and masturbation as far as music is concerned - get rid!