For my next act: questions about divorce

So I'm pretty sure this will have to be my next step. Having never gotten a divorce or actually not really knowing anyone I could comfortably ask about them, I once again turn to you. I've gotten a lot of insight reading all of your comments on mine and others posts today. I know I will need to get a lawyer. I will call our employee assistance line on Monday and get a referral.

But for now I'd love some advice.

He leaves for his job in another state in 3 weeks. Should I just pretend everything is ok until he goes? I feel like if I bring it up now that I want a divorce he won't leave and it will be 48585858 times harder.

In the past when I have asked him to leave, he just flat out refuses and me, being the total wimp that I am when it comes to him, always give up and accept his apologies. Mostly because although logically I know it's not all my fault, I feel a lot of embarrassment, guilt and fear about getting divorced.

That feeling has just increased since we had a son because I could never explain why I would have a child with 1. Someone who abused me for so long (although really no one knows about that) and 2. My parents have been married for 32 years and I just thought having a good example of marriage is so important and I want to give that to my son.

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