Signs That You're Drinking Too Much Coffee * Juan Valdez names his donkey after you. * You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. * You answer the door before people knock. * You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. * You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. * You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. * Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. * You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. * You walk twenty miles on the treadmill before realizing it's not plugged in. * You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. * You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee. * You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. * You ride an exercise bike to work. * You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. * You use coffee flavored mouthwash. * You help your dog chase its tail.