This post will self destruct in 48 hours

If you read my posts, you may find that they change after a couple of days. They remain basically the same, but the grammar and spelling miraculusly, miraculastly, amazingly improves. This is because Mrs Sensible logs onto my blog, switches into skool marm mode and mutters and tuts her way through my spilling mistakes.

Because Mrs Sensible reads my posts, this post will self destruct in 48 hours if not sooner.

Pecora Nera in trouble

On Sunday I was in trouble. I don’t know why, I pondered everything I had done, not done, touched or not touched over the previous three days. I know I had been a bit lax with the old, unloading the dishwasher but it doesn’t normally cause frosty stares and monosyllable answers.

I asked if I was in trouble. I hasten to add this is not a good thing to do…..

In the end I sat down and had a proper Poo Bear think.

A really hard think

And then it came to me, like a bolt out of the blue, a sledge-hammer thought, straight to my left temple.

A day to remember

I HAD FORGOT MRS SENSIBLE’S BIRTHDAY

Panic struck… I tried to remember the exact date that I had forgotten. I checked my phones diary, my laptop for proof of her birthday and even her facebook page. I knew her birthday was around now, but had I just missed it, or was I really in trouble, by at least a week or more? Was my life salvageable?

I checked her Italian ID Card.

With shaking hands the truth stared me in the face…. I had missed her birthday by several days. I was mortified, scared even. It was too late to rush out and buy a big chocolate cake with Mi Dispiace printed across it. I was doomed, my fate was sealed.

I quietly sat back down in the lounge and pondered my alternatives. They looked very bleak. How could I forget my loves birthday???? Should I broach the subject empty-handed? or wait it out until Monday and buy her lots of flowers, chocolate, new shoes etc, and endure another day of being in trouble…

And then I had another thought

Another really hard think

I couldn’t believe I had missed her birthday, so saying silent prayers I quietly tiptoed back to her handbag, dug out her purse and re checked her ID card. The date I had seen in my terror, was the date her card expired….. Her Birthday is in August, on the 12th to be exact.

So I am really really glad, I didn’t play honest Joe and tell her that I understand why she was mad at me and that I was sorry for forgetting her birthday, because I would have dug myself an even bigger hole than I was already in.

The problem is…. I still don’t know why I was in trouble…. and I don’t want Mrs Sensible to read this and realise that I forgot her birthday, so this post will self destruct in 48 hours.

Ah, the famous ‘You’re in trouble’, ‘What have I done?’, ‘Don’t you know? That makes it even worse!’, ‘But, but…!!!’ loop. Women are so good at that. They’re even more puzzling than a game of Sicilian cards. May I take this opportunity to welcome you back and wish you buona fortuna. I have a feeling that you may be needing it!

I have to say that my ex-husband was a pro at this kind of thing.
Driving down the road – frosty silence coming from behind the wheel.
Me: Is something wrong?
Him:
Me: Seriously, is something wrong?
Him: Do you have to ask?
Me: What did I do wrong?
Him:
Me: What? What’s wrong?
Him: You know what you did.
Me: ????????
Him
Yup…there is a reason he is the ex. Oops, was that my outside voice???

You had me laughing. The thing all men dread: Being in the doghouse and not knowing why. We love playing with you, you know.. Sort of like the cat and mouse thing. Please let us know when you find out what you did.

You really are a corker, PN. Do the same as PF and use the date as the code for the photocopier, then you won’t forget. Or maybe you will, anyway. I thought of you today; I got a letter from Mme crétino telling me that the medical certificate I had sent them had been sent to another office by accident, and now it’s lost, and I have to get another one. Don’t laugh. Please. Pass the box of tissues….. 😦

Hey PN! The destruct button hasn’t worked! Or maybe it’s an Italian destruct button that needs an extra 24 hours before it goes into action? News, hot off the press: Madame Cretino is not as Crétine as I thought, because she left me a message on my mobile to say that she’s tracked down my health certificate and is setting up my driving licence! *Happy dance*.

My licence has ground to a halt, I am writing letters to DVLA asking them, nay, begging them to reply to Snr Cretino.

I have been busted, Mrs Sensible has read the post, I am as the saying goes ‘dead meat’. My next post might be my obituary.

Actually, she thinks I made it up and thinks I have a very vivid imagination….. Which is strange because she knows everything else I have written has happened. On the positive side, the shock of nearly forgetting her birthday pushed me to organise her prezzie, which I can’t divulge in case she re reads the post.

Caro Percora Nera, I’m sorry to learn that there are frosty conditions a casa. However, if you could send a bit of ice over our direction (VA) it would be gratefully received as I’m sweltering in 35C

On an aside issue….what’s this I see about Sig Cretino needing a letter from the DVLA? Could this be the reason for the hold up regarding our licence conversions? If so, I could send a pre-emptive letter…!
Incidentally, many Italians believe that I was born in the DVLA! When I was teaching English in Fiat, Torino I used to give the receptionists my licence for ID. To authorise my entry they had to fill in my luogo di nascità (an absolutely critical piece of information it seems in Italy!). Often they’d type in DVLA as my place of birth. I chuckled to myself, but never contested it for fear I’d have to start carrying my passport with me!

Morning! A copy of the letter would be most helpful! Do you need me to send you my email address or is it already visible to you as owner of the blog? Thanks in advance and have a mosquito and frost-free day!

Dear Pecora Nera, it’s 3:20am and I can’t sleep! In addition, i have a confession to make…I may have deleted your email with the copy of the dvla letter. In my insomniac state have just trashed my spam messages and it occurred to me literally seconds (even nano seconds) later that, since I don’t have a Pecora Nera email address in my contacts, your message would prob have gone into that folder. Please forgive me….and would you mind resending it? So sorry for the trouble. Hope you are sleeping soundly!

Only a man could write this 😁. I’m sorry this will self destruct in 48 hours as it most definitely would have made my Friday Faves as a way of thanking you for the laughter you brought into my day. Hope Mrs. Sensible lets you in on the secret of what you did.

Too be honest I have a dreadful memory, I normally use Mrs Sensible’s memory. We can be with friends and they will say, ok I will meet you on Friday at Seven at San Carlo’s bar, and I look towards Mrs Sensible and she will shrug her shoulders. It is not asking her permission to go out, but for her to remember the time date and place, I blame it on my age or my mother.

Glad your post is still up and I didn’t miss this delightful read of your almost faux pas 🙂 Although apparently something was wrong, just nobody but Mrs. Sensible knows what was wrong. Hope the frosty air has thawed by now 😉

Well, (since she reads your blog) let me just say that I think you are a very considerate and attentive husband. Most husbands would just shrug off forgetting a birthday. Even though you actually didn’t forget her birthday, you cared enough to be upset about it. Goodness, I’ve been married for 24 years and my husband STILL get my birthday wrong! All the cold stares in the world won’t get him to remember the correct date, but we’re still married and happily so. Over the years, it’s the being together that’s most important, not whether someone remembers a birthday.

LOL every time!!! better get a big big pressie in time for the 12th August. And while you are at it, get one for Mr Cretino as well, it might help the application along? …. this comment will also self-destruct soon …. BANG!

Heh heh us ladies are very good at making you guys suffer in silence! I wonder what it was that irked Mrs Sensible… I would love to read the other side of PN’s life according to Mrs Sensible, I have a feeling it would make a double whammy of laughs! 😀