I don't mind having a 5 day week of Q&A here. In fact, I look forward
to it. Still, while intellectually I knew there was a 50-50 chance I'd be doing the column today, it
seems nobody remembered to clue in my body. So I'm sending the signals to type to my hands but they're
saying "No! We still need sleep! Don't force our little fingers to move!"

Of course, brain beats hand 9 times out of 10, so here comes the column for you. Of course, aside from
my body still being in weekend mode, it's also an unseasonably hot day today, so if I start moaning like
a zombie some more, don't be surprised.

First off, I just saw Akira in my local artsy theater and let me say...WOW!
I've been waiting for this moment since I first got into anime. It was the
new Pioneer re-dub and done very well. Vash played Kaneda and Young Knives
played Tesuo, and it made more sense too! One of the things that Pioneer
does that impresses me is their ability to actually pronounce Japanese names
correctly. (A lot better than Streamline could at least) *Stands up and
waves on the tomatos cause he knows he's right*
Okay, question now. I just got through the first Vandel Hearts and managed
to turn Ash in a God...Sorry, Vandalier...and was wondering if there was any
MAJOR thing I had to do that was kept secret in the sequal that I'm gonna
play after I get through Wild Arms 2. (I'm gonna kill ALL the bosses this
time!) I know there's more than one ending...but I just gotta know before
hand. Thank you for your time and attention.

Googleshng:
Ah, Vandal Hearts. Great game that. Vandal Hearts 2 on the other hand is a big stinking pile of smurfing
smurf. Anyway though, Vandal Hearts 2 has 4 endings, and which you get depends on whether your friends
die or not. Yuri dies if you don't become a Vandalier before you fight him, and Clive dies if you don't
tell him to protect Rosaly at one point. I think that "What do you want to do when you grow up?" question
towards the beginning is also a bit of a factor, with be king skewing you towards the bad end, and be
sappy skewing good.

Nintendo vs. GameArts

Dearest Holy Slime,
The most unthinkable thing has disrupted my petty, worthless life. My
Nintendo tumbled of it's perch to hit and break the Lunar 2, disc one
innocently sitting below.
1) Is this a bizzare, preprogramed thing which Nintendo has programed into
its console since the 1980s to destroy its competition?

Googleshng:
My guess would be no, since let's be honest, in the 80s Nintendo didn't HAVE any competition.

2) Is there anyway I can fix this without buying a new disc or burning a new
copy? You can't...glue discs, right?

Googleshng:
Well, in theory, if you could hold the two disc halves in JUST the right place and hold them together
tightly without touching to black side, it actually MIGHT run in a skippy fashion. I've seen discs with
much worse scratches than a hairline fracture all the way through. However, the only way I could see
that working would be if you taped it together, but then it'd tend to bend in the middle so that's no
good. Most likely, it's time to buy a new copy.

Googleshng:
Nah, just desperate. THIS is a foolish question: "Would your answer to me asking if I may have $100 be
different from your answer to this question?" Make it "the same as" though and you can trick people into
all sorts of things!

4) Does you remember the animated Legend of Zelda series? Was it truly as bad
as I have heard?

Googleshng:
I seem to recall a time when Monday-Thursday there was a Super Mario. Bros. cartoon, with Zelda instead
on Fridays. Don't recall whether it sucked or not, but I seem to recall it's where the Little Fairy That
Annoys the %@#$ Out of Link first got started.

5) Since you must be privy to the most secret mysteries of the cosmos, do you
know who Reno of the Turks likes? It isn't Yuffie...is it?

Googleshng:
Rude. Definitely Rude.

You know what's scary though? The very fact that I said that made at least 5 people suddenly start drawing
disturbing doujinshi.

6) Why is my life a hideous montage of agony and defeat?
Thank you for even taking the time to cast thine eyes upon my pathetic letter
filled with useless questions.
Always ready with a katana,
Minion Mary

I just got a GBA with Super Mario World, which I've already beaten, and have little money to spend on games. What's a good one, preferably that can be saved anytime? A lot of my playing is done in class, and I have to be able to put it away quickly Thanks!

Googleshng:
Golden Sun or Advance Wars would both most likely suit you quite nicely, and can be saved at any time.

FFT

Goog, slime, or whatever you prefer to be called,

This is a fairly simple question, which will make me look the fool, but I just really want to know the information more than the poetntial for embarrasment.

Anyway, I want to know what Square meant when they said the FFT port to the GBA was going to be a "quasi-sequel." I was just wondering how much would be knew and how much would be the same as the PSX version. I'm just wondering so I don't get excited about buying the same game twice.

Well, thanks for you time, even if you don't print this little drivel of a letter,

Davus

Googleshng:
That sort of wording could mean one of many many things. Of course, since a good number of those could
be given better names, I'm going to have to be a skeptic and assume the best you can hope for in terms
of new content is MAYBE a little short little epilogue chapter stuck on the end.

Three little questions

I don't do intros, so here are my questions. My first question is for Super
Mario RPG. My friend said that he saw a 'Best equipment code' on some site
somewhere, and on this code he saw best equipment for Luigi and Wario. Now I
highly doubted this, but he was hell-bent that he'd seen this. I was
wondering if this was true? And if it WERE true how do you do it? (I still
hope you know. Luigi kicks ass)

Googleshng:
I'd be willing to believe your friend saw such a thing on a site somewhere, but if so, I can say for
sure that said site totally made it up.

My second question is for Xenogears/Xenosaga. How long do you think it'll
take for each game to come out? I mean are they working on them one at a
time? If you know that'd be great. And (I think you said this earlier but I
wasn't clear) Are they going to remake Xenogears for the PS2? Maybe spiff up
the graphics and loading time?

Googleshng:
Well, the Xenosaga series is one of those obsessive masterwork concepts, so rushing isn't going to come
into play. Therefore, I'd expect the average length between games to be at least 1 year, maybe two. Therefore,
I can say with near-absolute certainty that you won't see Xenosaga 5 (AKA Xenogears remake) on the PS2,
because the PS2 will be dead well before them. How do I know this? Because consoles don't live longer
than 5 years. It's like an unwritten law of the universe. Oh, and there's also the fact that Sony's already
at work on the PS3, for which they have some unbelievably stupid concepts in mind, but I digress.

My third question is for a possible Chrono Break? A third game in the Chrono
Trigger series? Have you heard any details, if any?

That's it thanks,
Ragnarok

Googleshng:
Someone who had nothing better to do looked up various things Square has copywrited. On the list was
Chrono Break, but also on the list was Ultimate SaGa, Final Fantasy 15, and a few other such things.
This means pretty much squat. Companies as a general rule patent every single name they'd ever consider
using for something as soon as they think of the names. From there, they might do something with them,
or sit on them forever, but they've been known to wait years before even making such a call. So no, I can't
give you details about a game that does not exist, at least for the time being.

Questions and Comments

Xenogears spoiler for that one person who hasn't played it.

Hey Slimer,

Just to let you know, Chesh made a mistake. The reason as to why Shion Uzuki and Citan Uzuki aren't related, is due to the fact that Citan Uzuki isn't actually Citan's real name. It's Hyuga... Argh, forgot the his last name. I'll now have to play Xenogears, cause I would like to know it. Anyways, Hyuga isn't actually a Uzuki, it's just the alias he was going under while being with the ~Lambs~.

Googleshng:
No, there's a much much better reason. Remember how Xenogears starts with the really big ship blowing
up with only one person surviving? As I seem to recall Xenosaga 1 is set primarily on that ship, the only
relation any of the characters could have to characters in Xenogears would be if they were reincarnated
as them. Of course, Shion there kinda looks like a female version of Citan, so I suppose THAT'S possible.
One could also speculate people in later years grabbing last names off the crew registry of said ship,
explaining that bit too.

In any case though, I expect XS1 to have a real DOWNER of an ending. 8)

Oh, might as well add a question or two.

1) I actually got stuck on the supposed last boss of Lunar 2. Is level 50 enough to get me through him? If so, then I probably need some more healing and magic healing potions.

Googleshng:
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Cast White Dragon Protect every round.

2) What's your opinion on Arc The Lad: Collection Series? Just liked to have an experienced voice of opinion on the game before I actually purchase it. If not from you, then I'd be willing to take the opinion of someone else at RPGamer. I'm not picky, I would just like someone to help me out.

Googleshng:
Well, RPGamer's review copy is currently stuck in limbo, so I can't steal it and play it long enough to
give an answer, so I'll just have to consult with the caretaker of limbo... who's taking his time answering.
"I would say Arc is a decent package for tactical RPG fans. It's not very engrossing until the second game, but you really should play them all, or end up spend that much time working on your characters anyway."

Oh, and I tried becoming one of your many minions, but alas! It was then that I found out that you must also have had Googleshng to reply to your letter at least more than once... So I failed and can't join now... Oh well...

D.J. ~it's my nick; I'm not a disc jocky~

Googleshng:
OK, who is running this admissions board and why haven't they talked to me? I say anyone could be an evil
minion of mine, just as long as their hair isn't any whiter than mine. So unfortunately, Steve Martin
won't be eligible for a few more years. I probably won't be COMPLETELY white haired until I'm 30.

The Last Laugh:

It's too hot for quickies today. It's also too hot for sitting in this chair more than another minute,
so I'll see you all later tonight when things cool off and I have air conditioning.