Sexy Beasts

No, I’m not talking about bearded, flannel-clad college guys scoping the scene at Sam Bond’s. There are two horny sasquatches — Leonard and Dale — who have been captured and caged in a “non-descript warehouse in the industrial section of Eugene” for “scientific research.”

In fact, a tribe of bigfoots have been living in the Cascade Range for thousands of years, stomping around Lost Lake, smoking ganja and engaging in campfire orgies with hikers who have wandered a tad too deep into the woods. These are not your Harry and the Henderson kinds of cryptids. These are the sasquatches of Cum for Bigfoot (books 1-16).

The Cum for Bigfoot series is part of a growing trend in e-books: monster erotica. Sexy yetis are only the beginning. Browse the shelves of the internet and you’ll find loads of supernatural smut. Minotaurs, centaurs, gargoyle kings, aliens, giant slugs and dragons are all having more sex than you.

What about giant squid, you ask? Try tentacle porn. More of a natural history lover? Taken by T-Rex might be the e-book for you. It’s Rule No. 34 of the internet, folks: “If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.”

The e-genre has become so popular that in 2013, after receiving complaints, Amazon told authors like Virginia Wade of Cum for Bigfoot fame and other cryptozoological erotica writers to tone down titles and cover images or peddle their fantasies elsewhere (Cum for Bigfoot can now be found as Moan for Bigfoot on Amazon).

Business Insider reported on the trend (“Monster Porn: Amazon Cracks Down On America’s Latest Sex Fantasy”), as did Seattle’s The Stranger (“Amazon Cracks Down on Bigfoot Cock”).

At this point, if you’re clutching your pearls or putting on your judging cap — judge not lest ye be judged. Monster erotica is not as outlandish as you think. EW caught up with Cum for Bigfoot author Wade and with Ben Panther of the UO folklore program to find out more about this widespread beastly appeal.

“It was just a story idea that popped into my head,” Wade tells me over the phone. Virginia Wade is a nom de plume the author adopted when she dipped her pen in erotica. “At that point I was just writing a lot of short stories. It was just another crazy idea.”

After doing some research, the Colorado-based writer decided to plunk Cum for Bigfoot’s teenage heroine, Porsche, and her band of friends (all characters are 18 and older) and furries in Oregon, where bigfoot sightings are common (see EW’s award-winning feature story “Desperately Seeking Sasquatch”).

The first book in the series kicks off in Mount Hood National Park, where the group goes camping. Before long, the trip takes a hairy turn and, well, I’ll just let Porsche say it: “We’d turned into monster sluts, loved and being loved by our pets.”

Wade describes the sasquatch as the ultimate alpha male. “That whole capture fantasy about being kidnapped and ravished against your own will and ending up really enjoying it,” she says, speaking to her books’ appeal. She laughs. “That’s all fantasy. I would never want it to happen in real life.”

Wade is careful to call this “forced seduction,” steering clear of any connection to sexual assault. Most of her readers are female. “They are the ones who write the reviews,” she says. “When I first started, I thought I was writing for men. It turns out it’s a lot of women.”

Ben Panther, a master’s student in the UO folklore program, has a question for Amazon and other critics of the genre: “Why are vampires and werewolves OK, but bigfoot, chupacabra, the minotaur are not?” He adds, “There is actually a minotaur rape scene in this season of American Horror Story.”

Panther points to the fandom surrounding American Horror Story, True Blood and Twilight, which have storylines with strong sexual undercurrents, to illustrate that this interest in primal lust is not so taboo after all. Neither is the desire to tame the beast.

“These monsters are not just being animals and raping women,” he says. “This genre seems to be interested in crafting the kind of human aspect of the animal … It’s finding that spark of intimacy.”

Panther also notes that these books are not just for women. “If you read any of the Cum for Bigfoot stories, there are moments where it almost could just be bear porn, as in the gay subculture term — a lot of emphasis on the hairy arms, the hairy back, the hairy chest,” he says. “There is still this very humanoid distinction.”

The precedent for “America’s latest sex fantasy” is actually quite old and not all that American. Beauty and the Beast, for example, gained popularity in mid-18th-century France and actually comes from Greek and Roman mythology, appearing in Metamorphoses as Cupid and Psyche. And tentacle erotica has roots in Japan that date back more than 200 years.

“Japan at that time was influenced by Victorian ideals of sexual mores and sexual norms,” Panther explains. “That’s where a lot of their censorship has come about. It was a way to get around the penis issue, of having a penis depicted. Japanese mythology also has all these kind of creatures, especially sea creatures, because it’s an island nation. They know about squids and octupi.” He adds, “But the dinosaurs? I don’t even know.” He shakes his head and pauses. “It could be really interesting.” ™