43 comments:

i'm pretty entertaining. i'm told just repeating my name is good for a giggle or two. but you want a story? what kind of story? i realize you have the attention span of a gnat right now, but you need to be more specific. romance, comedy, tragedy, mystery, ghosty???

so, wait, exactly what is the euphemism for that that gets translated into the list of ingredients? because i know i've read the side of the tube and while there were all kinds of suspicious polysyllabic words i'm quite certain none of them ever said "batshit."

otoh i really did see "placenta" listed in some hair product or other.

...yeah. truth is, if we ever learned all the ingredients of everything that went into we consume, never mind how it got there, i'm fairly certain a lot of us would retreat to a small wooden (hand-hewed) hut in the middle of the forest somewhere and live entirely off hand-grown herbs, or...

okay i'm now suddenly having this moment where EVERYTHING seems totally disgusting.

wah! that's not ENTERTAINING. now i want to go scrub my brain out with soap...which is probably made from rendered gnome fat or something...

...I wonder if it's just mascara, or eyeliner too? Not that this would necessarily stop me. (I mean, that would just mean a key ingredient in my nocturnal palette is, not to put too fine a point on it, used bugs. Which, hello. Tres gothique.)

Yeah...I just put up a poop related post on my blog tonight, too. With a 2-year old and 4-year old in the house poop is very important and often discussed (with me saying in exasperation, "Guys, everybody poops...).

(I mean, that would just mean a key ingredient in my nocturnal palette is, not to put too fine a point on it, used bugs. Which, hello. Tres gothique.)

I seem to recall reading that lipstick actually includes butterfly wing scales. I think it was in a book called The Secret House - if you read it, you may never want to consume dairy products or use toothpaste ever again.

Hey, BD, I'm going to be in NYC June 7-11 if you want to get together in a well-lit public place or something.

first there are people testing this shit to see which disgusting ingredient provides the most luscious product;

then presumably you need to -get- the shit (and i do mean literally) from somewhere;

do they have darkened rooms with thousands of bats hanging from the rafters/cages in the factory somewhere? or do they have people specially trained to go spelunking in caves and collect the stuff? is there a refinery plant where it all gets processed before it goes to L'Oreal or whomever?

i know about the mica for glitter, that was actually pretty depressingly exploitive.

so, okay, do "animal cruelty free" products include GUANO? or do they go, "oh well, harvesting shit from 'em doesn't HURT them or nothing, so...IN WITH THE BATSHIT!"?

seriously, i'd love to see exactly how that transaction worked itself out. so, what, after someone in design/lab has this -brilliant- idea, it's some flunkie's job to scout out...your friendly local mohel, or whatever wing it is of your hospital more likely; and says, say-hey! you don't really NEED those after you remove them, right? because, we might have a deal for you. waste not, want not...

A story: I grossed out a friend, who more of a friend of a friend, by sending a group email which included her.In this email, I discussed my clots and the mess they made on the bathroom floor.She was offended, I think.I haven't emailed her since.The End.

Some of them have diseases humans can usually only catch through cannabalism.

However if you heat anything up hot enough virusii and bacterii cease to be a problem really.

However, bat guano does make up a major part of a lot of cave ecosystems' nutrient source, to such a degree that there are centipedes out there that are specialised at climbing up cave walls and catching bats in mid air so they can eat them.