Friday, September 30, 2011

I've just returned from my brief trip to the Okanagan Wine Country (Wine Country always sounds like a made-up place, doesn't it? Much like Villainville or Cellulite City). Many hours were spent exploring the Naramata region, sipping as much wine as one could stomach on serpentine streets. My palate may not be refined enough to detect notes of forest floor in a glass of Pinot Noir, but that doesn't mean I couldn't thoroughly enjoy the experience and guess the easier notes, like raspberries and currants. When in doubt, amateur oenophiles, always say raspberries and currants. As for me, I'm already planning my next trip to a sylvan area, so that I can finally sample that famous forest floor.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Did you know… that I am an ambidextrous calligrapher? My left-handed cursive is the ugly sister, but a sibling nonetheless. This self-taught skill was a result of my war paranoia – a childhood fear that I could be drafted at any time (even as a woman! even as a child!). Recurring nightmares had me driving ambulance cars (for obvious reasons), looking for family members in a sea of people, and watching myself get shot from a convenient new body. In daydreams, I would survive by having my right arm amputated, so the clumsy left would need to become my livelihood – a sinister thought, indeed! I guess you could say I liked to be prepared, although I still don’t have a driver’s license so I should probably dream up a new wartime occupation. Paranoia is a full-time job, isn't it?

Thursday, September 22, 2011

It's that time of the year again, folks. Time to pull the wellies out of storage and dust off your old edition of Swann's Way that you've been meaning to read for a decade or so. 'Tis the season to be cultured and start getting hipsters' Proustian references.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

If you had told me last year that leopard went with everything, I would've promptly included your name in a special list I reserve for tacky people, alongside Liberace and Tammy Faye (you should be so lucky!). Then again, I read The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste from leopard cover to leopard cover years ago and have been biased ever since. Now that I've been sporting feline footwear a few times a week, perhaps it's time to revisit some other déclassé items on that list. Stay tuned for photographs of my new lava lamp and Twinkie addiction.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A couple of nights ago, I found myself scouring the potato chip racks of a 7-Eleven in my neighborhood. The cashier snickered a bit, so I assumed he was judging the quantity or quality of my purchases (fair enough). He then accused me of having gone to St. Joseph's, which I naturally assumed was a prep school with killer uniforms. He snickered again and claimed it was a NIGHTCLUB. I assured him I would never set foot in such a place (not anymore, anyway), but he didn't believe me because "It sure looked like you in that purple dress." I made my escape before he had a chance to say that I'd supposedly grinded with him or done body-shots off his bros, but this case of mistaken identity has had me thinking. If you happen to see thisdoppelgänger doing the Jersey Turnpike in a purple dress near you, please know that it is not I. Most nights, I am too busy brushing up on Camelot couture and watching Cami Secret infomercials, which leaves little time for purple-dress-clubbing.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Have I ever mentioned I'm a TV addict? Mad Men, Property Virgins, Jersey Shore - I watch it all, though draw the line at I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, for obvious reasons. Tonight I watched the Jacqueline Kennedy special and I have a feeling some of you may have as well. Did you tear up at the sight of the tombstone that read "baby girl Kennedy?" Did you take mental notes of Jackie's outfits for upcoming cocktail parties? Did you find satisfaction in her nonchalant use of vocabulary you'd previously only encountered in books? (So that's how you pronounce détente...). No? Okay. I guess it was an exciting night of television, what with the Billy The Exterminator marathon and all.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Have you heard? Yew Restaurant at the Four Seasons is now a seafood restaurant! I was one of the lucky many who got to attend the reopening on Wednesday evening. After being treated to a fête of oysters, tuna tartare, and an entire table of salmon "snacks," my taste buds are still reminiscing today. Of course, I had to stay true to myself and down some cocktails throughout the evening, a sure cure for my reticence. The dessert table was off-limits (hello, lactose intolerance!), but the pastry chefs offered me some delectable vegan cookies instead. When I wasn't busy chewing, I managed to meet and mingle with food writers and fellow gourmets, thus completing Yew's new tagline: Modern. Coastal. Social. Social, indeed!

Salmon on the rocks.

Meet the Menu.

Shipwrecked had a hint of jalapeño.

There's nothing like a freshly shucked oyster.

What a swell party this is!

Figments of the feast.

Blouse, Tommy Hilfiger. Skirt, Brooks Brothers. Handbag, Ann Taylor.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this review are my personal views and this particular restaurant review was not sponsored or paid for in any way by the company or an agent working on their behalf. I just love to eat, okay?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Looking at these photos, I'm kicking myself for not pairing navy with pink more often (I last raved about it here, a human gestation ago). And, as usual, I'm behind on my posts so this is not the ensemble I'll be donning this eve for the reopening of Yew Restaurant at the Four Seasons in downtown Vancouver. Any local bloggers out there who'd like to join me (and act impressed by my drinking skills)? The first Boulevardier is on me.

Monday, September 5, 2011

As some of you already know, I've been raping people's Twitter profiles. The offensive tweets have been linked to weight loss (appalling!) and alleged photographs tooted about in teenage girl lingo (OMG, LOL, and everything else I abhor). I still don't know what I did to deserve this kind of hacking/spamming, but I'd like not to have my account suspended again. Aside from repeatedly changing my password, I don't know what else I can do. Any advice, fellow twits?

Friday, September 2, 2011

One of the best things that happened to me in London was getting caught in the rain sans cover while looking for Harrods. Drenched, desperate and disoriented, my sister and I entered Harvey Nichols instead, where Max Mara was having a little soiree. After I de-racooned my eyes and my sister wisely buttoned up her trench coat over a Superman tee, we put on some airs and waltzed into the Italian boutique. Champagne flutes were chugged and umbrellas were given as party favors, so we walked away elated. Convincing the British Airways clerk not to charge me when checking in the umbrella (considered a weapon as a carry-on and 40 pounds as an extra piece of luggage) was another story with a happy ending. It's all about the little (gratuitous) things, isn't it?