Many men in relationships feel that their other half doesn't make enough romantic gestures. This can be very bad for their self-esteem and happiness in the relationship. The good news is that the problem has a very simple solution which can be mastered by anyone. Read on for tips and hints.

Steps

Part 1

Show Her Affection

1

Show her affection. The idea is that if you show her affection, she'll show you affection back. Do this regularly enough, but don't smother her (see Step #2). Try the following ideas for guidance:

When walking in the mall, hold her hand, or hold her hand in the movies.

When you greet her, give her a kiss. If she doesn't know you're there, come up gently behind her and kiss her neck.

Snuggle next to her on the couch, with your arm around her, and your fingers in her hair.

Offer to give her a back, hand or foot massage. Girls love to be pampered.

2

Don't overdo it. If your girlfriend tells you that you're too clingy, or she's not really the affectionate type, learn to find a balance between what affection you want to show and what she thinks is reasonable.

If she thinks you're too clingy, showing affection to you is the last thing on her mind. She gets annoyed by some of the affection you show, and thinks that some of it is unnecessary.

Learn to back off a little bit. If you can, respect her feelings and back off a little. Don't stop showing affection completely, but slow down with the kisses and hugs, and focus on putting more emotion into the ones you do give her.

3

Compliment her when she does something nice. Don't be dishonest or prepare a script of what to say; just say what about her makes you happy, what about her makes you lucky, what about her makes you want to have her by your side.

If you notice she's gotten her hair cut recently, react to it: "Did you get a haircut? It makes me notice how pretty you are. Not that I normally forget...."

If she accomplishes something smart/hard/grueling, tell her you respect her: "I'm proud of you. I knew that you were smart/tough/dedicated, but you keep showing me parts of you."

Simple compliments work best. "You have beautiful eyes," or "When you smile, I light up inside" are always winners. When you compliment a girl, remember these tips:

Don't compliment her breasts or butt. Stick with compliments about her eyes, hair, smile, or clothes.

Avoid the cheesy stuff. "You're the sweetest thing I ever tasted, sugar muffin" is cheesy (well, sugary, at least!), but "I'm lucky to have you" is less so.

Deliver your compliments with a smile, in a sweet tone. Act like you mean it. It's often not what you say, but how you say it.

Part 2

Be the Guy She Wants to Show Affection To

1

Be lovable. Make her want to be around you. Be in a good mood, don't complain to her about all the little things that bother you, and be interested in the life around you. If you're a lovable guy, she'll feel like she can never show you enough affection.

Be easy to be around. Surround yourself with happy people, do fun things, and don't worry so much about every little thing! Girls love guys who take things easy.

2

Be playful. Girls are attracted to guys who know how to have fun. This means that you should get in the habit of genuinely having fun around her.

Be silly together. Do impressions of celebrities, or playact scenes you experienced together that day or challenge authority in an intelligent way. Do whatever gets her in a playful mood with you.

Play harmless practical jokes. If she doesn't like jokes, then ease up on her, or play a joke on someone else together.

Tell jokes. Find jokes online, or develop your own list. Even better, make some inside jokes that only you two will understand. The bottom line is that if you make her laugh, she'll want to show you more affection.

3

Practice good hygiene. This includes washing your clothes, brushing your teeth, flossing and using mouthwash. (No one wants to share a smelly mouth.) Wear a pleasant scent cologne or after-shave. She'll enjoy having your cheeks next to hers. Many women find certain scents to be annoying, so stop wearing it if she complains.

When you wear a scent, be sure it's not too much; women hate it when guys feel the need to wear a lot of cologne. Guys often put too much on.

Wash your hair regularly and let her play with it. Girls like playing with their boyfriends' hair. Give her an excuse to go through your soft, clean locks.

Make your best effort to look clean and put together. Even if you're going for a grungy look, you can still look put together. Girls can tell when you don't care about your looks.

Part 3

Go the Extra Mile

1

Bring her something special out of the blue. When you go to meet her, bring her something one time. It doesn't have to be anything big, it could be a candy bar or a funny card. It's a nice gesture to show that you are interested in her and want to please her.

Try bringing her lunch or dinner out of the blue. If she doesn't expect it, all the better. Figure out what she likes and eat it with her.

Write her a nice letter once in a while. Handwritten is best. It doesn't have to be long or mushy. Tell her you think about her all the time; tell her why she's special to you.

Pick up something she wants. Girls will often drop hints about what they like, like musical artists, clothing items, or accessories. Remember what she likes, and go out and get her something reasonable. She'll be stunned.

2

Plan special dates. Special dates are great because they are exciting. She doesn't know what's happening, and then you come and sweep her off her feet. If that's not a recipe for hugs and kisses, a recipe doesn't exist!

Plan a movie-date, a dinner-date, or an activity (such as bowling, ice-skating, cooking classes, or a sports game). If she's really interested in something, try to fit that into the date.

Get her friends to help you. Try planning a surprise birthday party with her friends or with her family if you're close to them.

3

Don't play games with her. Do not wait for her to do it first, or wait on principle. Be the kind of person you know she'll respect. Remember, if you wouldn't want her doing it to you, don't do it to her.

4

Spoil her. Make her feel as if she is the only girl on earth who means something to you. This will make her comfortable, relaxed, and happy. When she's spoiled, chances are she'll show you how spoiled you make her feel.

Small things, like opening the door, or asking for her opinion, often go overlooked by guys. Be a gentleman.

If you know she's having trouble with something, like a homework problem, a long grocery list, or a CD she can't find, help her out. Show her that you think about her even when you're apart.

Be there for her when she's sick. Bring her warm soup and soda, along with some movies you can watch together.

Never forget the flowers. Every moment is practically an opportunity to get her flowers. Don't go overboard, but get her flowers she loves from time to time. You can even pick flowers for her if you're close to nature. Flowers are a great way to get her to kiss or hug you.

Community Q&A

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What if I'm in middle school and I don't have enough courage to even hold her hand? Can you give me some tips on how to get her to hold my hand and hug me?

wikiHow Contributor

Ask her to hold something for you. When she opens her hand, put your hand on hers, slide your fingers in between hers, and now you're holding hands. It's cute, quirky, and also just silly and surprising.

If this question (or a similar one) is answered twice in this section, please click here to let us know.

Tips

Make her laugh.

Fit her emotions! When she's sad, be more solemn and calm yet cheerful enough to comfort her. When she's happy, be happy and joke with her. She'll feel like you really care about her emotions and special.

For a first date, take her somewhere you can actually talk to each other. If you take her to the movies, then you can't really talk to each other. You just end up sitting in silence for hours on end. Instead, take her somewhere calm and relaxing like a café, the beach or mall, or rent a few scary movies and invite her over for movie night. In these places, you can talk openly and freely and really enjoy being with each other.

If your girlfriend is sad and she's been crying, try to make her happy.

If you are nervous about giving the first kiss, be ready for her to; if she leans in to kiss and you back away without knowing she's trying to kiss you, you'll look like a fool. And she will feel horrible.

Always think of her when you're alone because this will help when you're with her.

If she hunches her shoulders, cringes or moves away, she doesn't like it. Kissing on the neck is a very private gesture and most girls would rather have it happen at home. But keep in mind cringing does not always mean she doesn't like it. It may mean that she is just nervous.

Take her to a place she likes or wants to go to. If you're new with her get to know her better but not too fast.

Don't be too secretive but don't make it too obvious, you are in a relationship.

Do super nice things to them and tell them how you feel.

Note down the feelings you have about her when you are alone, and show them to your her once meet again. It shows how deeply you love her.

If your girlfriend has gad a bad day at school or something then take her somewhere she would love as a surprise.

Warnings

Don't talk about your exes or first kiss unless it was with her!

Be prepared for rejection, but do not become so paranoid that you are afraid to take chances!

Don't do anything like pressing or touching her breasts in a public place. She may like it only in private. She may not even like it at all.