Professional Football is GayMood: irritated
Originally posted 10/20/2004

Over the past few years, I've been working on a theory that America's obsession with professional Football is indicative of massive amounts of deep seated homosexuality. I think that having this all organized in writing will help me to develop the theory.

Let's start at the beginning. What is the objective of a game of Football.

The game is played by two teams consisting of big strong muscle men wearing tight shiny pants.

One team of big strong muscle men in tight shiny pants goes about attempting to "penetrate the endzone" of the other team of big strong muscle men in tight shiny pants.

The other team of big strong muscle men in tight shiny pants is trying to prevent the other team of big strong muscle men in tight shiny pants from "penetrating their end zone".

The action of the game centers around the Quarterback. At the beginning of most plays, the quarterback lines up behind the center. The center is on all fours while another man steps up behind him in a simulation of gay sex.

Whenever one team successfully penetrates the end zone of the other team, you will see grown men spanking each others buttocks to celebrate.

After the game, two teams of big strong sweaty muscle men go back to their locker rooms, strip nude and shower together.

Let's take a look at some of the names of positions."Tight End", "Wide Receiver", "Slap Back"

Let's take a look at the names of some of the teams in the NFL."The Buccanners" Butt Pirates anyone?, The Green Bay "Packers" What are they packing?, "Browns" This one explains itself. The Raiders, The Titans, The Oilers, etc...Many of the names have obvious homoerotic overtones.

The uproar over the "Janet Jackson Incident" at the Super Bowl wasn't really over indecency. It was because the great homoerotic love fest was interrupted by a woman's breast.

I grew up in Pittsburgh, hating football. This is like growing up on an island and hating fish. About 8 or so years ago, something like 40% of the people in and around Pittsburgh actually voted YES to an additional 0.05% sales tax because the team was threatening to leave town.

These people were ready to financially take it in the rear just to keep a sports team here! I don't get it.

My Dawg, the president.
As I sit awake watching election returns on TV I can't help but celebrate a little. It would appear that GWB has won reelection. 4 more years of my favorite President during my lifetime. It's a good thing.

Israel is a bad friend
I've been trying to put into words how I feel about the situation with the "War on Terror".

Time and time again, middle eastern Arabs and Muslims say that the US's unconditional support of Israel is the number one reason why they don't like us.

I'm not going to assign blame for their conflict (arab/israeli), both sides have done some pretty awful things. What I will do is compare Israel to an old college buddy who gets into a barfight every time you go out with him.

It may or may not be his fault, but how many times do you have to get a busted lip or sore knuckles before you realize that this isn't someone that you want to go out with?

I say "no more". We should end all financial and military aid to Israel. We should maintain neutral diplomatic relations with them, but they shouldn't get the special protection that we provide them.

Want to make America safer? Let our friend learn to get along with his neighbors on his own.

Wife KillersMood: incredulous
I've been passively following the Scott Peterson murder trial. Time and time again I keep hearing about how guilty he has been acting. What I don't hear about is any actual evidence. It looks like the prosecution doesn't have any iron-clad proof of his guilt. I suspect that we'll have another OJ-esque situtation where someone who appears to be as guilty as hell gets acquitted because the prosecution screwed the pooch. I can't wait to see how "White America" responds when Scott Peterson gets away with killing his wife.

My friend, the PresidentMood: incredulousTopic: Politics
Maybe I'm too much of a cynic or conspiracy theorist, but I keep reading about how President Bush is stomping ass all over John Kerry in opinion polls.

This is at the same time that all of the hollywood elite is working hard to mobilize the base of the opposition. I keep finding myself thinking that this is about lulling the Republican base into a false sense of security. Making us complacent so that when election day comes, we will think that we have it in the bad and won't turn out in force to support our candidate.

Here I sit in Pennsylvania, a big Democrat base of support, I don't think that my vote will mean much. I am still going to the polls anyway. I urge my fellow Republicans to do the same.

OMG, disregard previous "Hot Women" entryMood: amorous
I have now come to the realization that Jenna Von Oy (Blossom & The Parkers) is THE hottest woman on television. All of the women I named in my previous entry are still very hot, but Jenna is the current leader of the pack.

Kate Faber!!!!!!!
After wondering again who it was that has accused Kobe Bryant of rape I decided to google around a bit. I found out that the name of his accuser is Kate Faber. I have an ethical objection to "rape shield" laws, so repeating her name on my Blog is my own way of protesting the collection of grossly unfair rules that are known as "rape shield laws".

It's official, Will Smith is a bitch.
I was browsing through the Internet Movie Database and I happened upon the page of Jada Pinkett-Smith, the spouse of Will Smith. On this page she is quoted as saying "Will is a very interesting, unique man, and I'll tell you why. He makes love like a woman. He loves to touch, massage and feel. He makes love like he's in touch with himself, who he is. And he's a very sensual, incredible lovemaker."

Let me repeat the interesting part "He makes love like a woman."

Instead of just hitting it real manly, Will Smith is all about touching and massaging and feeling. F-That. Butch up and be a MAN Will Smith.