A man named Alpha Lorenzo Walker and his conspirator Tamara Eileen Diaz were arrested earlier this month for trying to extort Stevie Wonder and were the subject of myriad tired late-night show monologue jokes for fucking up what you'd imagine for obvious offensive-punchline-type reasons would literally be the easiest thing in the world.

But the plot thickened last night when reports surfaced that Walker was blackmailing Wonder with the wackadoo tale that Walker, Wonder's nephew, was the product of a sexual encounter with Wonder and his sister. He originally demanded $5 million from the singer, then lowered it to $10,000, and was nabbed by undercover cops who were posing as Wonder's guys to orchestrate the handover. [Bossip]

Pamela Anderson rescued a dog from the slums of Mumbai and gave it a safe home between her breasts and it didn't even have to use its hard-knock life experience to win a national television quiz program. [Minute 15]

Melissa Joan Hart is keeping the sex of her baby a secret from her husband, which is incidentally listed on Google Reader as "Melissa Joan Hart Baby Sex Secret" and just made me choke on my coffee. [Contact Music]

Pete Doherty sold a painting that he and Amy Winehouse made with their own blood for $45,000. [E! Online]

Three of the four singers on The Voice U.K. judge Will.i.am's team are sick and can't stop puking long enough to perform, thus confirming that The Voice U.K. is basically a modern Canterbury Tales with mediocre Lady Antebellum covers instead of chapters. [Express]

Coolio was pulled over in Vegas for yet another mundane traffic violation because Stars Are Just Like Us. [TMZ]