#1 This photograph is thought to capture the moment that Kim Jong Un began to suspect that General Hyung was committing ration card fraud.

#2 A Venezuelan police office faces off with desperate citizens pleading for him to give them his body armor, which they can sell to smugglers for a week’s worth of food to smugglers who will smuggle them into the U.S. American criminals prize Venezualan body armor for its ability to neutralize hand-guns used for self defense while keeping the wearer cool in hot temperatures. The FBI has reported that a complete set of Venezuelan body armor has a street value of $20,000 on the streets of Washington DC.

#3 This poster, which used to hang on the wall of Ayn Rand’s office, sold for $30,000 at auction in Sotheby’s. It is widely rumored that Ayn Rand would spend hours staring at that poster and that she used it for inspiration when preparing to write love scenes into her novels and described it as a signature example of rational eroticism.

1. Every single one of these guys looks more dictator-y than me. I knew the Mao pantsuit was out of style.
2. No, I swear, this is a shirt, not my toilet paper ration!
3. The recent advertising push to get teenagers to read had…bizarre consequences.

2. In the Venezuelan justice system, bread line skipping offenses are considered especially heinous. In Caracas the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the No Skipsies Unit, these are their stories.

1) He won’t be smirking when I send him to oversee the launch site.
2) Wait, you said meet at the lightposts to hang that hijo de puta Maduro. You didn’t say we needed to bring rope! We traded it all for toilet paper!
3) Words are literally violence. Shaking!

1) The sound of one hive mind clapping
2) The Fashion Police in Venezuela take it very seriously when douches try buy a t-shirt at the merch table and wear it during the show.
3) This is what it looks like when you try to read Atlas Shrugged in Spanish

1) Cake. Where is the damn cake? I like cake. He is a dead man.
2) Somebody’s police force watched Robocop one too many times.
3) We need to institute a department to evaluate if we have enough superfluous laws and recommend any missed opportunities for law making.
/Taos city council