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Saturday, February 11, 2012

King of Liechtenstein - Take Two

"Holy Mother of God, this woman is driving me crazy, she is indeed! I don't know what else to do, I've tried everything! But she keeps playing with me and my heart. I've even started to neglect the Principality's duties! Ludwig! What am I doing wrong?"

This was one of those evenings when the prince had yet another love attack. And like any other occasions he needed to talk to Ludwig, who'd been his advisor for many a year.

"Tomayto, tomahto, Ludwig, you're not being helpful with these subtle remarks."

"Sorry, sir, I only meant ..."

"I mean", continued the prince out loud, "let's see the facts here. She's been in this relationship for how long? Three years? OK, so what? Does she like me? Yes, she does! Does she think we'd be great together? Again, she does. Then why does she keep telling me that she'd like to give that loser another chance?"

"No idea, sir, I'm myself quite a novice in the realm of women, but for what I know they can be very unpredictable sometimes".

"And she's from such a poor Swiss family".

"You're right on that, sir", said Ludwig with a wide smug smile, "I've heard that her father's gardener has to wash his Mercedes by himself. So much poverty in the world, sir. But anyway, sir, if I may suggest, maybe you should... how shall I put it... talk to the guy, maybe he'll come to his senses and leave her alone. Perhaps some pecuniary stimulus would do. In the end, he's not that well off either, his maids have now a subscription at the Michelin restaurants, to get the discount."

"Ludwig, you're as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike! I can't do that, she'll smell that in a blink of an eye and suddenly I'll cease to be the not-like-the-other-guys guy. I need something else".

"In that case, sir, you should do something extraordinary. You should show something that very few mortals have shown so far. You should use the ultimate aphrodisiac: Power! And you should do it in style, sir".

"OK, clear, any suggestions?"

"Sir, this one will make Chuck Norris weep. To start with, your highness has now the right to veto the results of any people's referendum, right?"

"That's true".

"As you're aware of it, there is a referendum planned to remove your power to veto the results of any referendum, right?"

"Heard of it, yes".

"Now let the referendum go, sir, and then just veto the results! It's legal and they will never take that right from you".