Healing through God, nature, my beloved hubby and animal family.

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The Awesomeness of One Dog

I buried my dog Brut three weeks ago who was just eight years old. He was bleeding internally and his lungs had spots in the x-rays. Most likely cancer. Brut was my dog. We were very much alike and he was called my heart dog in the dog world. He wasn’t an extension of me or a part of me, he and I were like mirrored twins. What I learned from Brut and what he learned from me made us better beings. If it wasn’t for Brut being exactly who he was, I would have never come to love myself. For Brut was a prickly being to love and I found that was true of myself. I’d become so hard-core and strong-willed that I was difficult to love. I fought against everything as if fighting the world back from my door and I became impossible to love. Yet, Brut loved me anyways. He had an understanding that went deeper than our aggression we vented. We had both been done wrong, very wrong in our lives and we were always trying to rectify it. No one else seem to understand more than Brut how I felt and in my time alone with him personified that. We sat for many times in the wee hours of the night just listening to it. It was like telepathy between us. We could talk for hours like this, not speaking a word. I could call him to me with a thought or talk to him about anything. Brut was unique and special, and terrifying all the same. Everything about him was larger than life and he ruled his dominon with an iron clad paw. Brut was judge, jury, and executioner when it came to his family of dogs. We had some frightening fights between all of them. Nobody ever got hurt (thank God) but I wouldn’t talk to Brut for a couple of days after a fight I would be so mad at him. It took me longer to come around with him, than it did him with me. Eventually I learned the greatest lesson any dog can teach you, unconditional love. And while I’m still working on it, I learned what it means when you have it. And in turn I was able to give it to him, as much as a human could. Brut showed me that even in the midst of cancer, how strong-willed he was and he wasn’t going to die until him, my husband and myself were all ready for him to. He was the strongest dog I’d ever known, mentally, physically and spiritually. And I don’t know if I’ll ever have another dog that even comes close to him. Although his four kids that we have could all run a pretty close second.

Healing with God's creatures and surrounding beauty I have survived the worst of my life. Then came the PTSD from childhood abuse and being bipolar. Now I am in a place of stability while learning to keep my footing as I restart my life again. Thanks for joining my journey.