Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Stars

For every 5 pounds we lose at WW, Kelly gives us a star for our star catcher. I'm proud to say I reached another 5 pounds this week. I lost 2.4 for a total of 140.6. I'm thrilled. Plus Claudia reached lifetime tonight and came dancing in to zumba music (nice touch, Kelly!) as she had on her skinny jeans and a long shirt which hiding underneath was her thong! LOL We had a great time celebrating with her. At one point Kelly said she remembered me motivating Claudia when she first started to which I ended our celebration by telling her that SHE motivates ME because I want to be standing up there saying I met lifetime like her. I've still got a way to go but I think if you know me you know the determination I have to reach that goal. I was so hoping to meet the 140 goal before I go to the doctor at the beginning of November. I know she will be thrilled.

I wish the rest of life was going so smoothly. Each day has been a real struggle with work being one of the most challenging I've had in many years. Every day I come home and feel exhausted. Then there has been a lot going on with my son and his girlfriend. They are good as a couple, it's dealing with all the rest of the drama. Today I honestly felt like I was on the edge ready to jump off. I must be more tired than I realized for the tears have flowed easily tonight. My internal struggle is tremendous. I try telling myself to take each day one at a time but boy is that easier said than done. I'm being pulled in all directions and feel like I'm spiraling out of control at times. *sigh* Now if I'd only figure out how to put another 3 hours in a day. Maybe then I'd not feel pulled apart in 100 directions.

I can't seem to stay on topic for anything. I've considered giving up blogging. Why would people want to read what I write? But then I think back to why I started the blog....and it wasn't to get followers (good thing too!) but it was to be a place for me to express myself. If you've hung in there and read this far....thanks.