Tajikistan bans Facebook

Authorities in the Glorious Republic of Tajikistan have ordered internet service providers to block access to Facebook, over numerous complaints about the country’s beloved president Emomalii Rakhmon.

The head of Tajikistan’s Office of Telecommunications Beg Zukhorov told reporters that the office received many calls from “citizens of Tajikistan” asking him to shutdown Facebook, which he described as a hotbed of slander.

“Unknown people there insult the leaders of the state. They are apparently being paid well for that,” he said. “My phone has literally exploded with calls from grateful citizens who happily greeted the news of the closure of the site, and only a few will see this as a negative step.”

Zukhorov said he would gladly discuss the decision with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, provided Zuckerberg pays him a visit in the agency office in Dusanbe.

“Does Facebook have an owner? I’d like to speak to him. Let him come to Tajikistan. I will meet with him during office hours,” said Zukhorov.

Only about 41,000 Tajiks use Facebook, out of a population of 7.6 million. Well, at least they used to use it.