The Dog Paradox

If you haven’t had the pleasure and pain of laughing so hard you think your ribcage might combust, then being struck by a truth-induced sadness it just about makes you weep, I suggest you visit this comic (and the rest of the Oatmeal’s while you’re at it).

In it, Inman (the Oatmeal) charts, though succinct, sassy statements and definitively brilliant cartoons, how his dog isn’t afraid of large wilderbeasts or garbage trucks, but is skitteringly terrified of cats and hairdryers.

He writes of ‘friendbeasts’ and ‘invisible horsebeasts’, of unbridled excitement at you arriving home irrespective of how long or short a time you’ve been away, and of dogs’ apparently unrivalled sense of smell that still involves them getting up close to sniff another dog’s butt.

In fact, the blog’s so uncannily accurate that anyone who’s ever lived with and loved a dog will wonder if Inman’s been spying on them.

It’s best you read it yourself because I certainly can’t convey its aptness here, but my favourite part involves the phrase with which I now pepper my conversations: ‘Lick balls sooper clean. Lick balls even moar clean.’ And really, who knew a well-drawn syringe could be so image-finishingly hilarious?

The whole thing’s made even cuter and more hilarious when you see a real-life picture of Rambo, the dog on which the comic, book, poster, and plush toys, are based. He’s an adorable and sufficiently odd-looking Maltese–Shitsu-type dog—not nearly as ferocious and fierce as his cartoon persona would have him be.

Oh, and the Oatmeal just keeps giving. There’s also this cartoon about how he sees his dog and how his ‘squirrel enforcer’ dog sees him. The butthole as the ‘eye of Sauron’ and the crotch being the ‘slip and slide to the heart’ are somethings that will forever stay with me.

Suffice to say, I’m a slightly huge Oatmeal fan. Doubly so because he’s one of the few people who’s successfully built a career producing and releasing free online content. Which is all the more reason to buy The Dog Paradox book, the poster, and the fluffy merchandise—Inman presumably makes some margin off those so he can continue producing and posting comics for us to enjoy (and develop laughing-related hernias) free.

*I thought I’d actually blogged here about the dog paradox comic, but now can’t find the post. Maybe I just spammed you with an excited email saying, ‘Check out this comic!’

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Fiona Crawford

Fiona Crawford is a freelance writer, editor, blogger, proofreader, and voracious reader. She regularly appears as a book reviewer in Australian BOOKSELLER+PUBLISHER magazine.
Fiona is also (unfairly) known as the Book Burglar due to her penchant for buying family members—then permanently borrowing—books she wants to read herself.
View all posts by Fiona Crawford