Idiot Packers Fan In Florida Burns Himself When He Tries To Put On Flaming Cowboys Jersey

And by “flaming” we mean that it was actually on fire, not one of those Ezekiel Elliott crop top jerseys.

According to TC Palm, a 27-year-old moron in Indian River County sustained third-degree burns late Sunday afternoon after he tried to wear a Cowboys jersey that was engulfed in flames. The fact that it happened in Florida should have made it obvious, but yes, he did this on purpose.

Authorities said Timothy Salyers told them he and 22-year-old Brianna Hook had made a bet going into Sunday’s Packers-Cowboys game in which the fan of the losing team would have to burn his or her jersey. Salyers, the Packers fan, was no doubt thrilled with Aaron Rodgers and company’s last-second 35-31 win, especially since his jersey was still going to be wearable for weeks and months to come.

The duo planned to capture the Cowboys jersey burning on Facebook Live, but that never happened because…wait for it…Salyers “grabbed the jersey with his right arm and attempted to put it on while it was on fire.”

Salyers not only sustained third-degree burns on his right arm and hand during his latest bout of shitdickery, but he also suffered second-degree burns on his back. It was a far cry from Christmas Eve 2013 when he was “feeling blessed” after winning 100 bucks on a scratcher…