Mariah Carey is cleavagey

Mariah Carey launched her new perfume “M by Mariah Carey” at Macy’s in New York yesterday. She also stood next to a vase and showcased her healthy bosom. I’m sold. Order me 100 bottles. I don’t care if it smells like the sensual Living Tahitian Tiare flower. She had me at boobs. Will you accept a check?

Say what you want. Mariah is looking very intelligent. I want to award her the Nobel Piece Prize. As I hand it to her I’ll trip and my face will fall right into her mounds of Intelligence. Saved from falling by her bra. How smart is that?

if anyone who has become acquainted with the aesthetic is in some sense unhappy, but anyone who hasn’t is a dumb brute, then someone with gruesome titties who denies or ignores that they are in fact obscene is just a moron.

it’s like walking around with a cleft palate, claiming that all god’s children are beautiful on the basis of some brain-dead scheme of openminded equality