Stephen Curry Is a Monster as Warriors Outgun Heat

The Warriors unleashed unholy three-point terror on the Heat Thursday night, raining long balls aplenty in a 123-114 win. Stephen Curry was unconscious all night long, scoring 36 points on 8-15 from three to go along with his 12 assists. Former Florida Gator David Lee constantly killed the Heat inside, scoring 32 points on ridiculous 13-17 shooting while grabbing 14 rebounds.

The Heat didn't have a problem scoring -- that was indeed NOT the problem. Five players finished in double figures, led by LeBron's 25 points, five rebounds, and five assists. Scoring, not the problem. The problem was the Golden State Warriors went full "Splash Brothers" Thursday night, topping nearly all Heat opponents' records for the season. The team shot an insane 79 percent in the first quarter, scoring 38. Opponent highs for quarter, half, and game all fell to the Warriors, who caught the highs as they fell and put those in the basket too.

It was an off night for LeBron, all the way down to his shoes. His infamous LeBron 11's struck again last night, this time blowing a tire as he was going 90 on I-95. LeBron scorches the earth when his shoes fail him. Nike needs to model his next shoe after a tank or something.

In closing, Stephen Curry is terrifying, and I'm glad he is at Golden State, far, far away from the Miami Heat.

Celebrity chef Guy Fieri was in the house for the game, and we're gonna talk about it here because the Warriors are our daddy, and that's enough about the game. Fieri took the fam to the Heat game for his son Ryder's birthday. Afterward, they all ate the shit out of some Southwest egg rolls -- I'm guessing, probably.