What happen to my life?

I would be lying through my teeths if I tell you that I dont care about how others looked at me. I don’t want to go back to the vicious cycle yet I’m back. I care a lot about what others say about me. I care alot when people stare at my face. I care a lot when people especially my family starts to worry about me. I hate to see the kind of worried face they had because of my face. Why is god doing this to me?