CBS Broadcasting
CBS announced its fall television lineup today, and the network seems to be charting very familiar territory. While the other broadcast players scramble for the next big thing, CBS is firmly in cruise control. It would be easy to say that the the channel is just going through the motions, but the folks at CBS know what works and know their audience even better, which is why they're still the reigning champs of broadcast television. This year, the channel that brought you NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles, brings you their next surefire hit, NCIS: Somewhere Else, plus another half dozen police procedurals and two new comedies... one of which is actually a really old comedy. In these hardscrabble times, it may be difficult to decide which NCIS to watch, so we've rounded up all the new shows in CBS's 2014-2015 lineup.
Scorpion What It Is: Drama.What's It About: Eccentric genius and his team of misfits battle against high tech threats of the modern age, but the socially awkward group needs a translator of sorts, to help them communicate to the world around them.Who's In It: Elyes Gabel, Robert Patrick, Katharine McPhee.What It Sounds Like: The Big Bang Theory meets Criminal Minds. How Good Will It Be: It looks like This show looks like it might try to mine the same kinds of humor as The Big Bang Theory, which often nosedives into silly stereotyping of nerd culture without being actually funny or insightful. This one isn’t looking good at all. How Long Will It Last: CBS might be trying to find a bridge between the faux-geeky comedy in Big Bang and the litany of cop procedurals on the network. Perhaps the network’s audience will pick up on that. Airs: Mondays at 10 PM this fall.
NCIS: New Orleans What It Is: Police procedural.What's It About: The local field office investigates criminal cases involving military personnel. Who's In It: Scott Bakula, Lucas Black, Zoe McLellan.What It Sounds Like: It’s going to be NCIS, but everyones going to be talking about gumbo. How Good Will It Be: As good as an NCIS spin-off can be. Scott Bakula is great, but we doubt he's going to flourish in this.How Long Will It Last: Forever.Airs: Tuesdays at 9 PM this fall.
Stalker What It Is: Police procedural. What's It About: Det. Jack Larsen and his new boss, Lt. Beth Davis, investigate dangerous stalker incidents. Who's In It: Maggie Q, Dylan McDermott.What It Sounds Like: The inevitable Catfish episode of Law and Order: SVU. How Good Will It Be: CBS already has about 90 other cop shows, and this one isn’t doing much to stand out. There’s a new wrinkle (hey, we’re only going after stalkers in this on) but that’s no enough to separate it from the herd. How Long Will It Last: McDermott’s last show on CBS, Hostages, was a big misfire for the network. Plus, there are already so many procedurals clogging up the network’s schedule. We’re thinking some cop drama fatigue might be creeping in. Airs: Wednesday at 10 PM this fall.
Madame Secretary What It Is: Political drama.What's It About: Elizabeth Cord, the newly appointed Secretary of State, balances work and family life while trying to serve the President. Who's In It: Téa Leoni, Bebe Neuwirth, Geoffrey Arend, Patina Miller.What It Sounds Like: House of Cards without all the murder by train.How Good Will It Be: It looks a little staid compared to the wilder political action available from other dramas of its ilk. Still, maybe a slower drama depicting Washington is a move in the right direction.How Long Will It Last: House of Cards and Scandal has shown that political shows can survive and thrive on TV as long as they’re soapy and ridiculous. Madame Secretary looks a bit tamer than those two efforts so thrillseekers might not be interested. We’ll give it a season or two. Airs: Sundays at 8 PM this fall.
The McCarthys What It Is: Multi-camera sitcom. What's It About: The gay son of a brash Boston family wants to leave the city, but decides to stay when his outspoken and politically incorrect father gives him a position as an assistant coach on the local basketball team. Who's In It: Laurie Metcalf, Tyler Ritter, Jack McGee. What It Sounds Like: That one episode of All in the Family where meathead comes out to Archie. How Good Will It Be: We’re excited to see Laurie Metcalf return to TV, but the story itself doesn’t sound all that original or exciting. How Long Will It Last: Since Fox’s Dads failed to deliver ratings, it seems that we might be a bit tired of the whole "outspoken fathers annoying their sons thing" on TV. This one might not get a back nine. Airs: Thursdays at 9:30 PM this fall.
CSI: CyberWhat It Is: Police procedural.What's It About: Special Agent Avery Ryan is in charge of the Cyber Crime Division of the FBI, a team that solves crimes centered on the Internet.Who's In It: Patricia Arquette.What It Sounds Like: CSI meets the Internet.How Good Will It Be: It depends which The Who song they chose for the theme song. How Long Will It Last: Forever, or at least a handful of years.Airs: Midseason.
Battle Creek What It Is: Police procedural.What's It About: Two bickering detectives with polar opposite world views work together to clean up the mean streets of Battle Creek, Michigan. Who's In It: Josh Duhmel, Dean Winters.What It Sounds Like: A more straightforward version of True Detective How Good Will It Be: Dean Winters is always great, and television heavyweights Vince Gilligan (Breaking Bad) and David Shore (House) are producing. This could be something special.How Long Will It Last: This series seems darker and grittier than the average CBS procedural, which might not click with regular viewers of CBS’ breezier cop dramas. We’ll be surprised if this gets a second year. Airs: Midseason.
The Odd Couple What It Is: Multi-camera sitcom. What's It About: Charming slob Oscar Madison and buttoned-up neat freak Felix Unger become unlikely roommates after the demise of their marriages. Who's In It: Matthew Perry, Thomas Lennon.What It Sounds Like: Well… The Odd Couple.How Good Will It Be: We can’t imagine what new spin this new show could put on the Odd Couple formula since every other sitcom is basically a pastiche of the Odd Couple anyway. Been there, done that. How Long Will It Last: Matthew Perry has been on a serious losing streak so he may be a bad omen for The Odd Couple. we'll give it a season.Airs: Midseason.
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In 1993, the world was introduced to the Matthews family: hard-working mother and father, cool older brother (eventually overtaken by unexplained brain damage) Eric, impish/occasionally nonexistent younger sister Morgan, and middle son Cory Matthews, whose misadventures with friends, relatives, and faculty members were the life force of the now classic Boy Meets World. Although we bade farewell to Matthews — played, of course, by Ben Savage —when the show came to a close, we will be meeting up with the BMW hero once more in the forthcoming sequel series Girl Meets World. An adult Cory (played again by Savage) and his wife Topanga (the character’s original portrayer Danielle Fishel) will star on Boy creator Michael Jacobs’ new show, hopefully instilling the same heart and soul into their daughter Riley that we found in the original program. (And for more Boy Meets World nostalgia, be sure to check out Matt Patches' oral history of "And Then There Was Shawn," in which BMW cast and crew talk about the series' infamous 1998 Halloween episode.)
While many of us can now rest happily, dreaming of an imminent reunion with Cory and Topanga, some BMW super fans still wonder: what happened to everyone else on that show? Savage and Fishel will be recharging their careers on the new Disney series, but what are the other cast members up to these days? What has Minkus been doing? Or Harley? Frankie the Enforcer? And how about Mr. Feeny?
The Hollywood.com staff has lived out its fantasy as a team of private investigators (it’s not as swanky and glamorous as the Bogey movies always made it seem… the Internet kind of ruined that magic) and sought out the post-Boy Meets World career ups and downs of the show’s cast. Want to see where the John Adams High student body is today? Check out what we discovered below.
Name: Lee Norris
Character: Stuart Minkus
Seen In…: 23 episodes, with his last appearance at high school graduation making a joke about how all the characters we hadn’t seen in seasons were just “on the other side” of the school.
You'll Remember Him For: Being an even bigger nerd than early-seasons Topanga.
What He's Up To Now: Two cameos in Dawson’s Creek, “Barefoot at Capefest” and “To Green, With Love,” and playing Marvin “Mouth” McFadden for all nine seasons of One Tree Hill (where he got a six-pack!).
NEXT: What Happened to Morgan Matthews?Name: Lily NicksayCharacter: Morgan Matthews (The Original)Seen In…: 35 episodesYou'll Remember Her For: Playing Cory and Eric’s adorable little sister in the first two seasons. This version of Morgan enjoyed tea parties, playing with dolls, and eating only the marshmallows from boxes of Lucky Charms. She disappeared after only 35 episodes, and was replaced with Lindsay Ridgeway who took over the role with, “That was the longest time-out I've ever had!” What She's Up To Now: Nicksay made appearances in a handful of other TV shows after her Disney debut, including Judging Amy, The Guardian and 8 Simple Rules. She also appeared in Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Redford's 1996 film Up Close &amp; Personal. Nicksay is now 24-years-old, and she recently attended college at the University of St Andrews in Scotland. NEXT: What Happened to the other Morgan Matthews? Name: Lindsay RidgewayCharacter: Morgan Matthews (The Second)Seen In…: 75 EpisodesYou'll Remember Her For: Ridgeway turned Morgan from adorable youngest daughter to sharp comedic sidekick when she took over for the original Morgan, Lily Nicksay, in 1996.What She's Up to Now: After Boy Meets World ended, Ridgeway went on to do what a majority of teenagers do: She went to college. The actress received a Political Science degree from University of California Riverside in 2007 and a Masters in Counseling University of Redlands in 2010. Aside from a few voiceover parts, Ridgeway doesn't have too many credits to her name, but she continues to pursue her passion for singing (which she showed off in the 1997 animated film Cats Don't Dance). She regularly performs the National Anthem for Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.NEXT: What Happened to Jack Hunter? Name: Matthew LawrenceCharacter: Jack HunterSeen In…: 68 EpisodesYou'll Remember Him For: The middle Lawrence brother joined Boy Meets World in 1997 as Shawn's step-brother Jack, who evolved into a Eric Matthew's partner in crime (and comedy).What He's Up to Now: Lawrence was working steadily as a child actor before Boy and he continued to find work on both the small and big screens afterward. He appeared in 2002's The Hot Chick and 2007's The Comebacks. When we caught up with Lawrence for our Boy Meets World retrospective, he was enthusiastic about acting and his work off-screen: ""Besides auditioning and constantly going out for roles, I work in conservation with animals,"" Lawrence said. ""I'm doing this other TV show, it's somewhat reality based, coming up in January."" The actor recently joined his brother Joey Lawrence on the ABC Family sitcom Melissa &amp; Joey.NEXT: What Happened to Angela Moore?Name: Trina McGee-DavisCharacter: Angela MooreSeen In…: 60 episodesYou'll Remember Her For: Being Shawn’s first long-term girlfriend who was on-and-off with him throughout the whole series before moving to Europe with her father in “Angela’s Ashes.”What She's Up to Now: A mother of three, McGee-Davis has made a few TV movies, like All of Us and Business Class.NEXT: What Happened to Mr. Feeny?Name: William DanielsCharacter: Mr. FeenySeen In…: 158 episodes, spanning from the first until the very last episodeYou'll Remember Him For: Living next door to Cory and Eric, and being first their teacher, then principal, then professor, and always their friend. He gave the best advice, and was the greatest mentor kids could wish for. And you can’t forget the legendary Feeny call!What He's Up to Now: Most recently, he befriended and taught Dr. Cristina Yang before dying mid-surgery on Grey’s Anatomy (freeing him up to appear on Girl Meets World!). He also appeared on two episodes of The Closer, one of King of Queens, one of Boston Legal, one of Scrubs, played the voice of K.I.T.T. on The Simpsons, and the voice of a robot pilot on Kim Possible with fellow BMW alum Will Friedle.NEXT: What Happened to Jason Marsden? Name: Jason MarsdenCharacter: Jason MarsdenSeen In...: 9 episodes from 1994-1995You'll Remember Him For: Playing a character with his real name, being best friends with Eric.What He's Up to Now: Marsden voiced various characters in DC Warner Bros. animated series like teenage Clark Kent, Firefly, and Danger Duck, and served as the voice of Max Goof in A Goofy Movie and An Extremely Goofy Movie, Mungo the gorilla in Tarzan. Marsden also landed gigs as the head announcer for Toon Disney, part-time announcer for Disney Channel. Of course, he also appeared in the flesh on occasion, with roles in Fun with Dick and Jane — as the cashier at the gas station — episodes of Even Stevens and Will and Grace, and voiced Felix Renton in Kim Possible with fellow BMW alum Will Friedle. He also continues to voice Nermal, Vito, Doctor Bonkers, and others on The Garfield Show.NEXT: What Happened to Eddie Hunter? Name: Maury SterlingCharacter: Eddie HunterSeen In…: Episode 317 (“The Pink Flamingo”)You'll Remember Him For: Being the trailer park thief who turns out to be Shawn’s surprise half-brother… who was never heard from or spoken of again. Ever.What He's Up to Now: He’s Max on Homeland! Max! Virgil’s socially inept surveillance expert brother! Sorry for all the exclamation points, but that’s how we felt when we realized this.NEXT: What Happened to Desiree?Name: Sydney BennettCharacter: DesireeSeen In…: Episode 203 (“Notorious”), Episode 204 (“Me and Mr. Joad”)You'll Remember Her For: Playing Eric like a fool as his Southern Belle girlfriend Desiree, a senior who uses him.What She's Up to Now: The last we heard from Sydney Bennett — not to be confused with the like-named music artist who performs as Syd the Kid — she had a supporting role in the 2009 Juno-starrer Whip It!, upholding her background as an experienced roller derby performer. Bennett earned her Master’s degree at the California-based Emperor’s College of Traditional Oriental Medicine. She was married in 2007 and gave birth to her first child in 2010.NEXT: What Happened to Lauren? Name: Linda CardelliniCharacter: LaurenSeen In...: Episode 514 (""Heartbreak Cory""), Episode 516 (""Torn Between Two Lovers (Feeling Like a Fool)""), Episode 521 (""Honesty Night""), Episode 621 (""The Psychotic Episode"")You'll Remember Her For: Cardellini appeared on Boy Meets World as one of the few girls to catch Corey's attention, even locking lips with the Topanga-obsessed everyman. The two crossed paths during a school ski trip, when a sprained ankle kept Corey holed up in the lodge with Lauren.What She's Up to Now: After her four-episode run as a sitcom temptress, Cardellini nabbed her breakout role on 1999's short-lived Freaks and Geeks. She continued to land roles, including a recurring role on ER in 2000 and parts in the Scooby-Doo movies and the Oscar-nominated Brokeback Mountain. This year, Cardellini was nominated for the Independent Spirit Awards ""Best Leading Female"" for her performance in the war drama Return.NEXT: What Happened to T.K.? Name: Danielle HarrisCharacter: Theresa “T.K.” KeinerSeen In...: Episode 215 (“Sister Theresa”)You'll Remember Her For: A one-time romance with Cory, which hit a snag when her overprotective older brother Harley — Cory’s high school bully — kept diligent tabs on the pair the whole night.What She's Up to Now: Scaring the hell out of you. The vast majority of movies that a still-active Danielle Harris has filmed have been horrors, and several are currently in production: Night of the Living Dead: Origins, Hatchet III, and The Farm. Harris was also a main player on the animated Nickelodeon series The Wild Thornberries, voicing older sister Debbie Thornberry.NEXT: What Happened to Rachel McGuire?Name: Maitland WardCharacter: Rachel McGuireSeen In…: 45 episodesYou'll Remember Her For: Rachel McGuire was the tall — like, really tall — red-headed girl who magically appeared in Boy Meets World for the purpose of being Eric's and Jack's bombshell roommate (and to cause tension). Of course, the boys begin battling for her love – or at the very least for a date – but in the end they all just remain friends. Though they could never help stare like idiots every time she waltzed around in a towel. (Why'd she do that, anyway?)What She is Up to Now: Rachel — who has blonde roots don't you know? — got married after making appearances in Boston Public, White Chicks, and Rules of Engagement, and is active on Twitter, sharing a lot of cleavage-baring pics, like the time she thought about being Wonder Woman for Halloween. NEXT: What Happened to Corinna? Name: Leisha HaileyCharacter: CorinnaSeen In...: Episode 405 (""Shallow Boy"")You'll Remember Her For: You'd remember Corinna (no last name) for being the super energetic and perky musician who begins dating Eric… for one episode. He's totally into her at first, but then gets turned off by her constant optimism. Instead of working things through, Eric dumps the girl, only to later hear the far-too-familiar song ""Shallow Boy"" on the radio describing their ""relationship"" to a T: I wanna give into my heart / I wanna give up who I am / Cause you trampled on my soul / Cause you don't understand / You're - shal—low / You're - shal—low.What She is Up to Now: Since BMW, Leisha Hailey was most notably on The L Word as Alice Pieszecki and most recently as Victoria on the new show The New Normal. She's also, wouldntchaknow, a real time musician – you can check out her band Uh Huh Her (which was formed in 2007) here. Her band also launched TELUHHVISION, a behind-the-scenes look at making music. She also sparked controversy back in 2011 when she was thrown off a Southwest flight for kissing her girlfriend, Camila Grey.NEXT: What Happened to Harvey? Name: Danny McNultyCharacter: Harvey ""Harley"" KeinerSeen In…: 8 episodesYou'll Remember Him For: Harley Keiner was the meanest, scariest, coolest guy at John Adams High. After failing to recruit Shawn to join his gang, Harley begins to pick on Corey (who he calls ""baboon."") Cory briefly weasels his way into Harley's good graces when he dates Harley's sister, TK, but unfortunately things quickly go sour when Cory decides he and TK are O-V-E-R. Ultimately, Harley gets sent to ""juvenile boot camp,"" at which time a young Adam Scott takes over as John Adams High's biggest bully.What He is Up to Now: According to his Facebook page (he wouldn't accept my friend request for more info), McNulty currently lives in Sedona, Ariz., and spends his time traveling and taking selfies in front of picturesque horizons. He attended the Less Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute, but his Boy Meets World stint and one episode of a 1993 show called Street Justice remain his only acting credits. NEXT: What Happened to Frankie?Name: Ethan SupleeCharacter: Frankie ""The Enforcer"" StechinoSeen In...: 19 episodesYou'll Remember Him For: As the man responsible for putting kids in trashcans when Harley told him to, Frankie struck a terrifying figure. However, as we come to learn, Frankie is a sensitive soul who possesses a deep and profound love of poetry.What He is Up to Now: After Boy Meets World, Suplee went on to make quite the name for himself in films and on TV. His credits span the gamut, from the grizzly American History X to family-friendly Remember the Titans. You may remember seeing Suplee in Mallrats, The Butterfly Effect, and My Name is Earl (on which he had a starring role from 2005-2009). Suplee is currently in production on a number of projects, including The Wolf of Wall Street, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Other fun facts about Suplee include: 1) In 2011, Suplee announced that he lost over 200 pounds by riding his bike. 2) He is a Scientologist. 3) Juliette Lewis is his sister-in-law. He and his wife, Brandy (Juliette's sister) have two children.NEXT: What Happened to Joey the Rat?Name: Blake Sennett (credited as Blake Soper)Character: Joseph ""Joey the Rat"" EpsteinSeen In...: 16 episodesYou'll Remember Him For: Being the smaller, faster-talking half of Harley Keiner's brute squad.What He is Up to Now: Following Boy Meets World, Sennett went on to appear in 6 episodes of 3rd Rock from the Sun. He is best known, however, as the guitarist for the indie rock band Rilo Kiley and frontman for the Elected.NEXT: What Happened to Jonathan Turner?Name: Anthony Tyler QuinnCharacter: Jonathan TurnerSeen In...: 52 episodesYou'll Remember Him For: Mr. Turner was the cool English teacher, the one who rode a motorcycle and had an earring, long hair, and a mysterious bachelor lifestyle. Shawn moved in with Mr. Turner in Season 2.What He is Up to Now: Quinn seems to be interested in finding work wherever he can get it these days. He has had guest roles on shows such as Caroline in the City, Passions, and more recently, Dexter, House, and Pretty Little Liars. Oh, and let's not forget, Quinn had a starring role in the 2009 Christian film, which he called ""very near and dear to me,"" No Greater Love.NEXT: What Happened to Wendy?Name: Jessica WessonCharacter: WendySeen In...: Episode 202 (“Pairing Off”), Episode 210 (“Breaking Up Is Really, Really Hard to Do”)You'll Remember Her For: Being the girl who Cory tricked into dating him after his utilization of Eric’s patented scheme for winning over any young lady failed to land him her heart. The eventual romance was brief.What She's Up to Now: Wesson continued acting straight up to 2001, earning a roles in films like Casper, Flipper, and Longshot, and a recurring spot on Judging Amy. Since she turned 19, Wesson has fallen off the radar (this last known shot of her is from 2001)… perhaps she has taken the past decade to recover from a shattered heart with which she was left following the betrayal of one Cory A. Matthews.Reporting by Michael Arbeiter, Anna Brand, Sydney Bucksbaum, Matt Patches, Leanne Aguilera, and Abbey Stone[Photo Credits: ABC (18); The CW; Twitter; Facebook; FOX; Lionsgate; IMDB (4); WENN (2); Fox Searchlight; Showtime (2); CBS]

Featuring more tears, tantrums, and tonsil hockey than a high school parking lot after the homecoming dance, The Glee Project launches itself firmly into the land of melodrama with its second episode. Seeing as that’s where Glee has lived for the last two — arguably three — seasons, one is wont to think that this means the contenders are rockin’ it. But, because of one itsy bitsy problem, one would be mistaken. You see, the thing is, everyone sucks. There, I said it.
The curtain rises on episode 2 to reveal Rob Ulrich ready to dish out a healthy helping of homework. The theme is “Danceability” (not a real noun) and the contenders will have to choreograph and perform The Go-Go’s masterpiece “We Got the Beat” for this week’s super secret surprise judge/mentor. The days of the kids democratically doling out lyrics seems a distant memory, as the girls take off their earrings and the guys roll up their sleeves to fight to the death for the chance to sing the very best five words. The honeymoon stage of this show is o-v-e-r, over.
That night, back in the dorms, Taryn is losing her s**t. She’s probably having an identity crisis, because Lord knows I have no idea who she is. Is she even on this show? Oh, she’s just stressed and kids are mean and she wants her mom. So she leaves. Immediately. I’m not joking; Taryn packs her bags and white titles roll across a black screen to tell us that Taryn is no longer a contender. So, that happened. Moving on.
Homework day! Rob wears his very best wig to the choir room to watch the kids kick up their heels and shake their moneymakers. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First we have to meet the super secret surprise judge/mentor. Whoever could it be?? This is about dance, so my money is on Heather “Single Ladies” Morris or Harry “Abs of Steel” Shum Jr. Nope — foiled again! It’s (one of the) Glee Project Season 1 winners, Samuel Larson. Does he even count as a Glee cast member? He may be super dreamy in a Burning Man sort of way, but I’m not sure 45 seconds on Glee makes you an expert. Sammy Boy’s got some advice, though, so listen up. “Do you, but do it hard,” he whispers breathlessly behind an oppressive curtain of dreadlocks. And with that, it’s time for some Go-Go’s.
I might as well have fast-forwarded through the homework performance for all that I was able to get out of it. The editors of this show sure do love their quick cuts! All this schizophrenic darting from singer to singer really makes it difficult to decide who draws your eye and who stands out from a crowd. I think maybe Abraham looked okay, and Lily’s got a good energy, but who really knows what the bleep is going on. But when the song finishes, Rob is clapping his hands and pronouncing it the best homework assignment ever. Bold words, Rob. You’ll be eating them later. Samuel gets confused and thinks that Abraham is actually Harry Shum Jr. in disguise, so the fierce Asian wins this time around.
NEXT: What’s old is young.
Robert announces that the music video song this week will be LMFAO’s “Rock Party Anthem,” and all the contenders are excited because this means they are, like, actually invited to a party. (This totally counts, right? RIGHT? This totally counts.)
Into the hall of mirrors the contenders go for some exercises in self-reflection led by choreographer extraordinaire slash life coach (and probably the love of my life) Zach Woodlee. “Please don’t do the stupid wedding dance,” Zach pleads, to which all the kiddies say, “Who, me?” and bat their eyelashes while they surreptitiously lawnmower and shopping cart and electric slide all the way to Zach’s bad side. Lily loves to pop her chest, shake her ass, and make confused faces, we learn, and poor Tyler lacks any sort of internal rhythm. Don’t blame this on the testosterone, child, it’s not the hormones’ fault that you can only move one limb at a time.
There’s no rest for the weary on The Glee Project, as things go from bad to worse in the recording booth. Generic cute boy is up first and he is pretty bad. Then Ali thinks it’s a good idea (which it isn’t) to riff on her “Rock Party Anthem” chorus. Den mother Nikki thinks that is pretty ill-advised and asks her to cool it. Pretty Lily with the Clearasil ad perfect skin seems to have lost complete control of her vocal cords, and Nikki responds by morphing into her catty alter ego Giggles McGee on the other side of the glass. “OMG this is so bad, amirite?” she transmits telepathically to whatever assistant happens to be nearby. I’m starting to worry about Lily, folks.
The contenders must push their abysmal recording sessions to the shadowy recesses of their minds as they gear up for the best. Party. Ever. And let me tell you, the party they create for their LMFAO video is such a party. Such a party. There are Cheetos and 2-liter bottles of Coke and, wait for it, spin the bottle. Holy crap, how did we get to such a fun party?
I’m going to take a second here to make you all aware of the fact that every contender on this show is over the age of 18. They may be gunning to play teens on TV, but for the large part, everyone is an honest-to-goodness adult. So, explain to me, my friends, why everyone is acting like they are in middle school. Nellie announces that she doesn’t want to play (fake) spin the bottle because she thinks kissing is special, and Aylin shows off just how little her conservative Muslim parents know about her by snogging everyone with a face. First, she makes out with generic good-looking homeboy Blake, but then poor Charlie starts to sulk because he was totally flirting with her first, he even touched her wenis! Is nothing sacred?! Good thing Aylin is so nice, she cheers him up with a kiss that is equal parts pity and look-at-me-I’m-awesome-slutty.
NEXT: Does Ryan Murphy have Bieber Fever?
The spit-swapping portion of the music video is over, for now, and it’s time for some choreo. As is to be expected with this uncoordinated bunch, no one remembers his or her moves. Zach shuffles over to the corner, wrought with despair, to mutter to himself. “The horror, the horror!” he chants to Nikki’s sympathetic ear. It’s at this point that all the grownups in the room realize that the contenders aren’t even remembering to lip sync. Oops. It’s the beginning of the end for these Glee hopefuls.
The audience is treated to a viewing of the finished music video and, despite the judges’ bemoaning, it doesn’t seem that bad. The editors must have spent some late, Red Bull-fueled nights splicing this one together. But again, no one stands out to me; everyone is equally unappealing at this point (although I am pretty into Michael’s hoodie. Where can I find one of those?)
Judgment time. Zach, telling it like it is as always, announces that it’s time all the judges figure out who sucked the least. Aylin, Shanna, Blake, and Michael were dubbed the least bad and scurry off stage. Dani, Lily, and Tyler were pronounced The Worst and have to sing for their lives. Here’s the rundown of the Last Chance performances.
1. Dani sings Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide.” Seems not too bad. There is something so watchable about her. I want her so badly to be great. Well, she’s not great, but she’s fine. Dani reveals that she wants to be the voice of her generation, to which Mama Murphy responds, “Okay, but can you sing Broadway and use jazz hands?” Justin Bieber isn’t so sure.
2. Tyler sings Elton John’s “Daniel.” His voice sounds like he inhaled a whole bunch of helium. Everyone is being super nice because he is going through such a huge transition, but I still think his voice sounds like baby Michael Jackson. I’m just not that into him, too bad he’ll probably win.
3. Lily sings Shania Twain’s “Man, I Feel Like a Woman.” Oh my, she’s stripping and dancing and singin’ it like she means it. This is fun! Too bad the judges think she is a sourpuss because she argued with my main man Zach. Mama Murphy is not impressed with her attitude. Lily then breaks the No. 1 rule of job interviews by telling Ryan Murphy that she argues with authority figures a lot and generally thinks her thoughts are more important than everyone else’s. Murphy does not like that one bit.
As the heartfelt voiceovers begin, I realize that since Taryn left on her own volition this week they technically don’t need to send anyone home. This could be the lucky break Dani or Lily needs (because anyone who has seen a promo ad for Glee knows that Tyler is guaranteed to make top 5). In fact, I’m so sure that everyone is staying, and so smug about figuring out the twist ending before everyone else, that I almost don’t even watch the callback list reveal. But as I head to the kitchen for another cookie, I see Dani’s sad, beautiful face out of the corner of my eye. Turns out Ryan Murphy just doesn’t have Beiber Fever. Avril Lavigne swells in the background, as it does each week, while Dani makes her final exit and everyone cries — including me (almost); I liked Dani bunches.
Previews for next week show more tears from the contenders and tough love from the mentors. Nikki drops some knowledge on the wide-eyed and bushy-tailed crew, “Not one of you is ready to be on Glee.” Bam. After more winners than they could handle last season, could this season go the way of Making the Band and dub no one victorious? Only time will tell. In the meantime, just remember to always do you, but do it hard.
[Image Credit: Oxygen]
More:
Glee Project Premiere Recap: They’re Beautiful in Their Way
The New Glee Project Cast: Who Has a Shot at Winning?
Glee Project Winner Damian McGinty Talks About Life on GleeThe Glee Project

A decade-long gap between sequels could leave a franchise stale but in the case of Men in Black 3 it's the launch pad for an unexpectedly great blockbuster. The kooky antics of Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) don't stray far from their 1997 and 2002 adventures but without a bombardment of follow-ups to keep the series in mind the wonderfully weird sensibilities of Men in Black feel fresh Smith's natural charisma once again on full display. Barry Sonnenfeld returns for the threequel another space alien romp with a time travel twist — which turns out to be Pandora's Box for the director's deranged imagination.
As time passed in the real world so did it for the timeline in the world of Men in Black. Picking up ten years after MIB 2 J and K are continuing to protect the Earth from alien threats and enforce the law on those who live incognito. While dealing with their own personal issues — K is at his all-time crabbiest for seemingly no reason — the suited duo encounter an old enemy Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement) a prickly assassin seeking revenge on K who blew his arm off back in the '60s. Their street fight is more of a warning; Boris' real plan is to head back in time to save his arm and kill off K. He's successful prompting J to take his own leap through the time-space continuum — and team up with a younger K (Josh Brolin) to put an end to Boris plans for world domination.
Men in Black 3 is the Will Smith show. Splitting his time between the brick personalities of Jones and Brolin's K Smith struts his stuff with all the fast-talking comedic style that made him a star in yesteryears. In present day he's still the laid back normal guy in a world of oddities — J raises an eyebrow as new head honcho O (Emma Thompson) delivers a eulogy in a screeching alien tongue but coming up with real world explanations for flying saucer crashes comes a little easier. But back in 1969 he's an even bigger fish out water. Surprisingly director Barry Sonnenfeld and writer Etan Cohen dabble in the inherent issues that would spring up if a black gentlemen decked out in a slick suit paraded around New York in the late '60s. A star of Smith's caliber may stray away from that type of racy humor but the hook of Men in Black 3 is the actor's readiness for anything. He turns J's jokey anachronisms into genuine laughs and doesn't mind letting the special effect artists stretch him into an unrecognizable Twizzler for the movie's epic time jump sequence.
Unlike other summer blockbusters Men in Black 3 is light on the action Sonnenfeld utilizing his effects budget and dazzling creature work (by the legendary Rick Baker) to push the comedy forward. J's fight with an oversized extraterrestrial fish won't keep you on the edge of your seat but his slapstick escape and the marine animal's eventual demise are genuinely amusing. Sonnenfeld carries over the twisted sensibilities he displayed in small screen work like Pushing Daisies favoring bizarre banter and elaborating on the kookiness of the alien underworld than battle scenes. MIB3's chase scene is passable but the movie in its prime when Smith is sparring with Brolin and newcomer Michael Stuhlbarg who steals the show as a being capable of seeing the future. His twitchy character keeps Smith and the audience on their toes.
Men in Black 3 digs up nostalgia I wasn't aware I had. Smith's the golden boy of summer and even with modern ingenuity keeping it fresh — Sonnenfeld uses the mandatory 3D to full and fun effect — there's an element to the film that feels plucked from another era. The movie is economical and slight with plenty of lapses in logic that will provoke head scratching on the walk out of the theater but it's also perfectly executed. After ten years of cinematic neutralizing the folks behind Men in Black haven't forgotten what made the first movie work so well. After al these years Smith continues to make the goofy plot wild spectacle and crazed alien antics look good.
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Last year director Garry Marshall hit upon a devilishly canny approach to the romantic comedy. A more polished refinement of Hal Needham’s experimental Cannonball Run method it called for assembling a gaggle of famous faces from across the demographic spectrum and pairing them with a shallow day-in-the-life narrative packed with gobs of gooey sentiment. A cynical strategy to be sure but one that paid handsome dividends: Valentine’s Day earned over $56 million in its opening weekend surpassing even the rosiest of forecasts. Buoyed by the success Marshall and his screenwriter Katherine Fugate hastily retreated to the bowels of Hades to apply their lucrative formula to another holiday historically steeped in romantic significance and New Year’s Eve was born.
Set in Manhattan on the last day of the year New Year’s Eve crams together a dozen or so canned scenarios into one bloated barely coherent mass of cliches. As before Marshall’s recruited an impressive ensemble of minions to do his unholy bidding including Oscar winners Hilary Swank Halle Berry and Robert De Niro the latter luxuriating in a role that didn’t require him to get out of bed. High School Musical’s Zac Efron is paired up with ‘80s icon Michelle Pfeiffer – giving teenage girls and their fathers something to bond over – while Glee’s Lea Michele meets cute with a pajama-clad Ashton Kutcher. There’s Katherine Heigl in a familiar jilted-fiance role Sarah Jessica Parker as a fretful single mom and Chris “Ludacris” Bridges as the most laid-back cop in New York. Sofia Vergara and Hector Elizondo mine for cheap laughs with thick accents – his fake and hers real – and Jessica Biel and Josh Duhamel deftly mix beauty with blandness. Fans of awful music will delight in the sounds of Jon Bon Jovi straining against type to play a relevant pop musician.
The task of interweaving the various storylines is too great for Marshall and New Year’s Eve bears the distinct scent and stain of an editing-room bloodbath with plot holes so gaping that not even the brightest of celebrity smiles can obscure them. But that’s not the point – it never was. You should know better than to expect logic from a film that portrays 24-year-old Efron and 46-year-old Parker as brother-and-sister without bothering to explain how such an apparent scientific miracle might have come to pass. Marshall wagers that by the time the ball drops and the film’s last melodramatic sequence has ended prior transgressions will be absolved and moviegoers will be content to bask in New Year's Eve's artificial glow. The gambit worked for Valentine's Day; this time he may not be so fortunate.

Enigmatic and deliberate Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy makes no reservations while unraveling its heady spy story for better or worse. The film based on the bestselling novel by John Le Carre is purposefully perplexing effectively mirroring the central character George Smiley's (Gary Oldman) own mind-bending investigation of the British MI6's mole problem. But the slow burn pacing clinical shooting style and air of intrigue only go so far—Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy sports an incredible cast that can't dramatically translate the movie's impenetrable narrative. Almost from the get go the movie collapses under its own weight.
After a botched mission in Hungary that saw his colleague Jim (Mark Strong) gunned down in the streets Smiley and his boss Control (John Hurt) are released from the "Circus" (codename for England's Secret Intelligence Service). But soon after Smiley is brought back on board as an impartial observer tasked to uncover the possible infiltration of the organization. The former agent already dealing with the crippling of his own marriage attempts to sift through the history and current goings on of the Circus narrowing his hunt down to four colleagues: Percy aka "Tinker" (Toby Jones) Bill aka "Tailor" (Colin Firth) Roy aka "Soldier" (Ciaran Hinds) and Toy aka "Poor Man" (David Dencik). Working with Peter (Benedict Cumberbatch) a conflicted younger member of the service and Ricki (Tom Hardy) a rogue agent who has information of his own Smiley slowly uncovers the muddled truth—occasionally breaking in to his own work place and crossing his own friends to do so.
Describing Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy as dense doesn't seem complicated enough. The first hour of the monster mystery moves at a sloth's pace trickling out information like the tedious drips of a leaky faucet. The talent on display is undeniable but the characters Smiley included are so cold that a connection can never be made. TTSS sporadically jumps around from past to present timelines without any indication: a tactic that proves especially confusing when scenes play out in reoccurring locations. It's not until halfway through that the movie decides to kick into high gear Smiley's search for a culprit finally becoming clear enough to thrill. A film that takes its time is one thing but Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy does so without any edge or hook.
What the movie lacks in coherency it makes up for in style and thespian gravitas. Director Tomas Alfredson has assembled some of the finest British performers working today and they turn the script's inaccessible spy jargon into poetry. Firth stands out as the group's suave slimeball a departure from his usual nice guy roles. Hardy assures us he's the next big thing once again as the agency's resident moppet a lover who breaks down after a romantic fling uncovers horrifying truth. Oldman is given the most difficult task of the bunch turning the reserved contemplative Smiley into a real human. He half succeeds—his observational slant in the beginning feels like an extension of the movie's bigger problems but once gets going in the second half of the film he's quite a bit of fun.
Alfredson constructs Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy like a cinematic architect each frame dripping with perfectly kitschy '70s production design and camera angles that make the spine tingle. He creates paranoia through framing similar to the Coppola's terrifying The Conversation but unlike that film TTSS doesn't have the characters or story to match. The movie strives to withhold information and succeeds—too much so. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy wants us to solve a mystery with George Smiley but it never clues us in to exactly why we should want to.

The God of Legion secular Hollywood’s latest Biblically-inspired action flick is old-school an angry spiteful Almighty with a penchant for Old Testament theatrics. Fed up with humanity’s decadent warmongering ways He’s decided to pull the plug on the whole crazy experiment and start over from scratch.
Fortunately for us the God of Legion is also a rather lazy fellow. Instead of doing the apocalyptic work himself and wiping us out with a giant flood which worked perfectly well last time He opts to delegate the task to His army of angels — a questionable strategy that starts to fall apart when the archangel charged with leading the planned extermination Michael (Paul Bettany) refuses to comply.
Michael who unlike his boss still harbors affection for our sorry species abandons his post and descends to earth where inside the swollen belly of Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) an unwed mother-to-be working as a waitress in an out-of-the-way diner sits humanity’s lone hope for survival. Why is this particular baby so important? Is it the one destined to lead us to victory over Skynet? Heaven knows — Legion reveals little details its script devoid of actual scripture. What is clear is that God’s celestial hitmen want the kid whacked before it’s born.
But Michael won’t let humanity fall without a fight. Armed with a Waco-sized arsenal of assault weapons he hunkers down with the diner’s patrons a largely superfluous collection of thinly-sketched caricatures from various demographic groups led by Dennis Quaid as the diner’s grizzled owner Tyrese Gibson as a hip-hop hustler and Lucas Black as a simple-minded country boy.
Together they mount a heroic final stand against hordes of angels who’ve taken possession of “weak-willed” humans turning kindly old grandmas and mild-mannered ice cream vendors into snarling ravenous foul-mouthed beasts. They descend upon the ramshackle diner in a series of full-frontal assaults commanded by the archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) the George Pickett of End of Days generals.
Beneath its superficial religious facade Legion is really just a run-of-the-mill zombie flick a Biblical I Am Legend. Bettany an actor accustomed to smaller dramatic roles in films like A Beautiful Mind and The Da Vinci Code looks perfectly at ease in his first major action role wielding machine guns and bowie knives with equal aplomb. Conversely first-time director Scott Stewart a former visual effects artist does little to prove himself worthy of such a promotion serving up some impressive CGI work but not much else worthy of note.

After catching her live-in boyfriend in a compromising position Amanda sets out to find a new place to live. She ends up rooming with four supermodels (Shalom Harlow Ivana Milicevic Sarah O'Hare and Tomiko Fraser) whose apartment has a great view -- especially of Jim the "perfect guy" across the way. When Amanda in a "Rear Window"- type scenario witnesses Jim committing what she thinks is a murder she sets out to prove that he did it. However to her surprise she ends up falling head over heels (literally a lot of the time) for him instead.
The chemistry between Prinze and Potter is near perfect. Potter does a great job of playing a klutzy girl who can't seem to stay on her feet long enough to have a conversation with Jim. But then again who could? Prinze exudes his usual charm and winning smile while at the same time showing great comic timing. The more pivotal moments with the four models who are "struggling " as they like to say are well done and surprisingly hysterical. Who needs a drama when you can have four models who are actually funny?
Director Mark S. Waters and Prinze Jr. are together again after their 1997 film "The House of Yes." "Head Over Heels" is a cross between "Fatal Attraction " "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "There's Something About Mary " which means it's a bit muddled in its direction. Waters tries a little too hard for the shock value while at the same time trying to convey romantic comedy elements almost overshadowing the performances of the actors. But hey then again we get to see supermodels covered in poop. Priceless. Still the fairly clever and darker script plus the winning chemistry between the lead actors makes it worthwhile.