This chapter is from the book

This chapter is from the book

In this chapter

10 Keys to being a good communicator

Communicating with parents

Communicating with league administrators

Communicating with opponents and referees

As a coach, you're called on to do a lot of communicating. You address
players, parents, other coaches, league administrators, and referees. You communicate
in person, on the phone, in writing, one on one, and within group settings.
How well you communicate with these groups significantly influences how successful
your season is, how enjoyable it is, and how much your players learn.

Of course, you've been communicating all your life. It can't be
that hard, right?

Right and wrong. If you haven't coached or taught before, and if you
aren't used to instructing and leading youngsters, you are entering uncharted
territory.

Consider this chapter your roadmap to help you chart that territory.

The 10 keys, presented first, will help you hone your communication skills
as a coach. These keys are written with players in mind, but they apply to
all groups with which you will communicate. Following the keys, we'll
focus on the specifics of communicating with parents, league administrators,
opponents, and referees.

10 Keys to Being a Good Communicator

Most people tend to think only of the verbal side of communication.
That’s important, but there’s so much more to being a good
communicator. Here are 10 keys to good communication:

Know your message.

Make sure you are understood.

Deliver your message in the proper context.

Use appropriate emotions and tones.

Adopt a healthy communication style.

Be receptive.

Provide helpful feedback.

Be a good nonverbal communicator.

Be consistent.

Be positive.

Know Your Message

Coach Caravelli gathers his players near a basket at the practice court and
says, "All right, guys, today we’re going to learn how to box
out." He tells David to help him demonstrate, and asks Alex to put up a
shot. Alex shoots, and as he does, Coach Caravelli spreads his legs and arms
wide and sticks his rear out, trying to find David, but he keeps his eyes on the
ball and the basket. David easily slips by him, untouched, and grabs the
rebound.

"Just a lucky bounce," Coach mutters.

"But Coach, my dad says you’re just supposed to find your man
first, and then box out," one player says.

Coach Caravelli considers this a moment before saying, "Actually,
let’s just focus on shooting today. You guys like to shoot, right? Who
wants to box out, anyway?"

The player was right; Coach Caravelli didn’t know the technique for
boxing out. He didn’t really know his message.

Three issues are involved in knowing your message. You need to

Know the skills and rules you need to teach.

Read situations and respond appropriately.

Provide accurate and clear information.

TIP

Coach Caravelli came to practice unprepared. Don’t let that happen to
you. Know what you’re going to teach and how to teach it, including
showing the proper technique. And if you don’t know the proper technique,
either shelve it for another practice so that you can learn the technique, or
have your assistant coach or a skilled player demonstrate the technique.

Know the Skills and Rules

Coach Caravelli didn’t know how to teach the skill of boxing out. He
might be a smooth, coherent, and clear speaker, but that’s not going to
help his players learn how to box out. Smoothness doesn’t make up for lack
of knowledge. You have to know the skills and rules.

Read the Situation

As Coach Caravelli teaches his players how to correctly execute screens,
Kenny and Sam are quietly goofing off, not paying attention. But Coach Caravelli
doesn’t address the situation because they’re not really disrupting
his instruction and he’s a little behind schedule. As his players begin to
practice screens, Kenny and Sam are not executing as instructed. Kenny is not
stationary when he sets screens, and Sam leaves a wide berth when running by the
screener.

So Coach Caravelli stops the action and tells them how to properly execute
screens. Then he lets them proceed.

Coach Caravelli delivered an important part of the message—Kenny and
Sam need to know how to execute screens—but that was only part of the
message he should have delivered. The real issue here was that the players
weren’t paying attention, and Coach Caravelli didn’t correct the
situation when it was occurring. He should have corrected that on the spot.
Barring that, he should have told Kenny and Sam that the reason they
didn’t know how to execute a screen was because they weren’t
listening when he was teaching how to do so, and that they need to listen to his
instruction the first time around.

CAUTION

Eloquently stating and aptly showing how to perform a skill doesn’t
mean you’re a good communicator if you can’t keep your
players’ attention.

Sometimes knowing your message goes beyond understanding the content. You
have to read the situation as well and tailor your message accordingly.

Provide Accurate and Clear Information

Knowing the content of your message isn’t enough. You need to be able
to deliver that content clearly and accurately.

Imagine a portion of a coach’s preseason letter to parents reading like
this:

"I’m really looking forward to coaching your child this
season. Our first practice is next Monday at 6 p.m. See you then!"

Too bad the coach didn’t remember to note where the first
practice is being held. As a result of not being clear in his letter,
he’ll have to spend a lot of time on the phone calling parents to deliver
the information.

The same goes for teaching skills. Perhaps you know the proper technique for
shooting, but your instruction is so technical and confusing that your players
are worse off than if they had received no instruction at all! They’re
confused, you’re frustrated, and no one learns how to shoot.

Know what information you need to deliver, and deliver it clearly so that all
concerned understand. That’s sometimes easier said than done.

Make Sure You Are Understood

As you can imagine, if you are not clear with your directives, you can create
a lot of confusion. Take the following example:

"Okay, Dion," Coach Hagan says, "the next time you’re in
that situation, make a crossover dribble and you’ll shoot right past your
defender. All right? Let’s try it again."

Dion gives Coach Hagan a puzzled look, but Coach Hagan, in the midst of
conducting a drill, doesn’t notice. He’s already getting the drill
going again. Dion just hopes he’s not in that same situation, because he
has no idea what a crossover dribble is.

Just because something is clear to you doesn’t mean it is clear to
whomever you’re delivering your message to, be it a player, a parent, an
administrator, or anyone else. You need to watch for understanding and be ready
to clarify your message if the person on the receiving end is confused.

When you state your message clearly and simply, you increase your chances of
being understood. But don’t count on that; instead, watch your
players’ facial expressions and read their body language. If they look
confused or unsure of what to do, state your instruction again, making sure you
use language they understand.

And watch how you say things: When you tell a player to "move to the
vacated spot," she might not know that you mean to rotate to the open area
that her teammate just left. Likewise, shouting out "Pick and roll! Pick and
roll!" doesn’t help if your players don’t know what a pick and
roll is.

Speak in language your players understand, and watch for their
understanding.

TIP

A quizzical eye, a slumping shoulder, or a glazed look on a player’s
face speaks volumes. When you are able to understand your players’
nonverbal communication, you are on the road to being a better communicator
yourself.

Deliver Your Message in the Proper Context

In the first game of the season, Karim has just put up an awkward shot, using
poor form. The ball is rebounded by the opponents, and a foul is called. As
Karim moves downcourt before the ball is inbounded, Coach Grantham cups his
hands to his mouth.

"Hey, Karim! Use your fingers, not your palm! And square up your
shoulders and hips to the basket! Remember to bend your knees to get a little
momentum for your shot! And bend your shooting arm elbow to 45°.
Don’t forget to follow through!"

What’s wrong with this? First, it’s probably humiliating for
Karim to have everyone in the gym witness his coach trying to instruct him on
how to shoot. Second, it’s not the time or place to give such detailed
instruction. That should come in practice, not in games. The instruction itself
wasn’t incorrect; the timing of it was.

CAUTION

Players’ focus during games should be on the game itself, not on you
giving them in-depth instruction.

Consider your context for delivering your message. Give brief reminders of
tactical or skill execution during games, but save the teaching for
practices.

Use Appropriate Emotions and Tones

Emotions are a natural part of basketball. Both you and your players (and
their parents) can expect to experience a range of emotions throughout the
season. In terms of communicating with others, your emotions can significantly
affect your message.

How? Let’s look at a few examples:

Situation: Devon, your point guard, is stationary, dribbling near
the top of the key as his teammates are moving and cutting to get open. Jeff
cuts toward the basket and is wide open for a moment. Devon is late with his
pass, though, and the ball is knocked away and stolen.

Response #2: "That’s all right! Let’s get back on
defense! Hold them, now. Let’s get it back!"

Don’t ever berate a player, publicly or privately. Remember that even
National Basketball Association players make plenty of mistakes. Your players
are going to make mistakes; what they need is instruction if they’re not
sure how to make a play, and encouragement, regardless. Help them to keep their
focus on the game, not on how well they’re pleasing you.

Situation: You are moments away from beginning the game that will
decide your league championship.

Response #1: "All right, this is it, guys! There’s no
tomorrow. We’ve been playing to get to this game all year long. Show them
what you’re made of. I want to feel that championship trophy in my hands
at the end of the game. How about you? Are you ready to go out and
win?"

Response #2: "Okay, let’s play basketball like we
know how. Keep your focus on the fundamentals. Let’s move the ball around,
look for the open guy, play tough defense, and box out on the boards.
Let’s go have some fun, all right?"

Pep talks are better saved for the movies. Such talks often backfire because
they get kids so sky high that they can’t perform well. Your players need
to focus on playing sound, fundamental basketball.

Situation: While practicing free throws, Terrell awkwardly slings
the ball toward the basket, not using his legs at all.

Response #1: "Hey, Terrell, you look like you’re
shot-putting the ball up there! This isn’t track and field, this is
basketball!"

Response #2: "Use your legs, Terrell. Bend your knees to
get a little momentum and strength. You can do it."

Sarcasm will get you nowhere. Terrell doesn’t need sarcasm, or any type
of humor. He needs instruction and encouragement.

Adopt a Healthy Communication Style

A lot of what you’ve been reading has to do with your communication
style—whether you over-coach during games, offering too much instruction;
whether you keep your emotions in check, or are too excitable or high-strung;
what your tone is as you communicate; and so on. But there is more to consider
concerning your communication style. It has to do with the bigger picture, with
how you communicate on a daily basis. It has more to do with personality,
outlook, and attitude than with reacting to a specific moment. And some styles
are more effective than others.

Here are a few of the less-effective styles some coaches fall into:

Always talking, never listening—Some coaches feel
if they’re not constantly talking, they’re not providing the proper
instruction their players need. Carried to the extreme, some feel that their
players have nothing to say. Coaches who always talk and never listen tend to
have players who stand around more in practice because their coach is talking,
and those coaches don’t get to know their players, thus missing out on one
of the real joys of coaching basketball. Deliver the messages you need to
deliver, but don’t feel you have to be talking throughout the entire
practice.

Always in control, too directive—Some coaches run
practices like drill sergeants, snapping orders at players, exerting their
authority, and squelching fun wherever it begins to appear. When practice
doesn’t go exactly as they have choreographed it, they become irked. When
players don’t progress according to schedule, it drives them crazy. Be
in control of practice, yes, but don’t squelch the fun and don’t
obsess over things you can’t control.

Not in control, too passive—Other coaches take the
opposite tack, either because they’re unsure of themselves or
they’re too laid-back and give the impression that no one is in
charge. They don’t provide the guidance or discipline players need. Not
comfortable in the spotlight, they avoid it, and discipline problems begin to
crop up. If you’re a quiet or laid-back person, don’t change
your personality but do exert your authority as coach. You can be in charge and
provide instruction without being loud and obnoxious.

Seeking perfection—There’s a fine line
between seeking to improve and seeking perfection. When coaches cross over the
line into perfectionism, they are rarely satisfied with anything. Their forwards
get rebounds, but their blocking out is not quite right. Shots go down, but
there are flaws in the shooting mechanics. Even the gyms are not adequately lit
or swept, at least in these coaches’ eyes. Players are on edge when they
play for a perfectionist coach; their focus turns from playing the game to
pleasing the coach. Help your players improve their skills, but allow them
margin for mistakes. You can strive for improvement without putting added stress
on the kids. Celebrate improvement even if it’s still not
picture-perfect.

Not in control of emotions—Some coaches throw up
their hands in frustration when players are trying hard but having difficulty
learning a skill. They shout in anger at a questionable call made by a volunteer
referee. Their voices drip with sarcasm when players ask them something they
feel the players should know. They respond with overzealous enthusiasm when
their team scores a basket late in a game they are in control of, and this
response is interpreted by all as unsporting behavior. The point is not to
suppress all your emotions, but to be in control of them. Consider the message
you send with the emotion you show. Do suppress any urge to show your
frustration toward kids who are trying to learn the skills, as well as any
desire to express your anger on the court. Maintain your respect for the people
involved in all situations. Your players need you to be steady and need to know
what to expect from you.

Not aware of nonverbal communication—Some coaches
watch what they say but not what they do. They express their frustration or
anger nonverbally, and if someone confronts them about that expression, they
likely will say, "What? I didn’t say anything." Remember that
you’re communicating every second, whether verbally or nonverbally. Keep
your nonverbal communication in line with your verbal communication, and make
sure that both are positive, instructive, and encouraging.

Buddy-buddy with the players—It’s good to be
friendly with players, but it’s inappropriate to try to be their friend.
Coaches who do this show a lack of maturity as they try to impress their players
with how cool they are. Have fun with your players, but maintain the
coach-player relationship. You’re there to help them become better
ballplayers, not to become their pal.

So, what should be your communication style?

You should provide the instruction your players need in a way that helps them
improve their skills. To do this, you need good listening skills as well as good
speaking skills, and you need to be encouraging and positive as you instruct and
correct. Maintain respect for your players as you communicate with them. Be
friendly and open with them, but don’t try to become their friend. Create
an enjoyable learning environment, maintain control over your emotions, and
watch your nonverbal communication.

When you adopt this type of communication style, you’re paving the way
for your players to learn the game, improve their skills, and enjoy the
season.

Be Receptive

A common mistake of new coaches is to assume that their sole role in
communicating is to talk. Athletes are there to receive instruction, to
be coached. Their focus should be on listening to you, on soaking in your
instruction, on carrying out your commands.

CAUTION

Communication is a two-way street. If you make it one-way, athletes will
eventually tune you out because you tuned them out when they attempted to talk
to you.

There’s plenty of truth in those statements, but they don’t
reflect the whole truth. Give your players room to speak, to ask
questions, to voice opinions or concerns. In doing so, you can get to know them
better and are better tuned in to their needs. Thus, you are more likely to pick
up on issues and problems you need to deal with; see the following sidebar,
"Dealing with Issues As They Arise."

Work at not only sending messages, but receiving them as well. As you talk to
players, if you notice that their eyes are wandering or their bodies are turned
partially away from you, they’re sending you a message ("We’re
not really listening"). If their shoulders are slumped, their heads are
down, or they’re dragging their feet, they’re sending one or more
messages ("I’m tired"; "I’m discouraged";
"I’m bored"). If they’re giving you a blank stare or have a
dazed look, they’re telling you they are tuning you out or are
confused.

Don’t ignore these signals. Handle them on a case-by-case basis. Each
player will respond differently. Tune in, address the issues that need to be
addressed, clarify instruction, and provide encouragement as needed, and keep
your players on as even a keel as possible.

Dealing with Issues As They Arise

You might come across some discipline issues and other concerns you need to
address as the season progresses. Here are some pointers on how to handle those
issues:

Let players know at the first practice how you expect them to behave,
and let them know what the consequences of misbehavior will be. Write this down
as well and give it to players or send it directly to their parents. This list
needn’t and shouldn’t be long; it should be simple and clear and
framed in a positive manner.

Rather than just "laying down the law," consider involving your
players in making team rules. Do this at the first practice. When they take part
in making the rules and setting the consequences for breaking them, they might
be more apt to stick to the rules. Giving players this type of responsibility
promotes their emotional and social growth.

When a player misbehaves, follow through as you had said you
would.

Don’t tolerate razzing of teammates, taunting of opposing players,
or other poor sporting behavior. Put a stop to such behavior, and follow through
on any prescribed penalties.

When a player needs extra help at practice in learning a skill, try to
provide it on the spot, ideally using an assistant coach or a parent who
volunteers to help. If the help can’t be provided during that practice,
other options might be to provide further instruction immediately following the
practice or immediately preceding the next practice, in a one-on-one situation,
if possible.

When a player needs medical attention, provide the appropriate care
immediately. You’ll learn about this care in Chapter 4, "Safety
Principles."

Provide Helpful Feedback

Tyler has been having trouble learning how to be a good defender. He tends to
lunge for the ball, wanting to make a steal every time, and as a result he
commits a lot of fouls. After one such foul, Tyler and his teammates return to
the bench during a timeout.

"Tyler, you need to stay on your man and play good defense," Coach
Dixon says.

Is Coach Dixon telling Tyler something he doesn’t already know? Hardly.
Is he helping Tyler improve his defensive abilities? No. His feedback
isn’t helpful at all; if anything, it just adds to the pressure Tyler
undoubtedly already feels.

Coach Dixon should focus on giving specific, practical feedback that will
help Tyler improve his defense. You’ll learn about this type of feedback
in Chapter 6, "Player Development." For now, know that such feedback is
one of your duties in communicating with your players, and when it’s given
properly, it can reap great dividends in terms of player improvement.

Be a Good Nonverbal Communicator

Studies have shown that up to 70% of communication is accomplished
nonverbally. You just read about the importance of reading nonverbal
cues—watching facial expressions and body language. You also have to pay
attention to the nonverbal cues you send:

"Way to go, Alex!" Coach Garner says, arms crossed tightly across
his chest and a scowl on his face.

The same words were used, but Coach Garner sent a vastly different message
than Coach Dintiman.

Nonverbal messages are being sent constantly—both with and without
words. Consider your facial expressions during practices and games. Sometimes
it’s appropriate to show that you’re frustrated—for example,
when kids are goofing off. But when kids are exerting themselves on the court
and not executing well, keep your frustration in check. Consider what messages
your expressions and body language are sending, and make sure those messages are
what you want to be sending.

Be Consistent

Your players need consistency from you in three ways. They need
consistency

In the messages you send

In how you treat them

In your temperament and style

Consistent Messages

If you hear different messages from the same person on the same topic, what
happens? You begin not to trust that person. The same happens if one week your
players hear you say, "We’re hurrying our shots! I want to see at
least three passes each time before we put up a shot," only to hear you
follow that the next week with, "Terry, you were wide open for that shot!
You’ve got to take that opportunity when you get it!" (This latter
advice came after Terry received the first pass and was dutifully looking to
pass.)

Confusing? You bet. If you do this often, the players will not know what to
believe, no matter what you say. Be sure you send consistent messages.

CAUTION

Remember, if your body language conflicts with your words, players will be
just as confused as if you told them one thing one day, and the opposite thing
the next. Keep your body language in line with the verbal messages you send.

Consistent Treatment

Make sure you treat all your players in similar fashion. If Dan breaks a team
rule one week and you discipline him accordingly, and the next week Zach breaks
the same rule but you overlook it because he’s one of your best players,
what message does that send to your team? That it’s okay to break the
rules if you’re good enough?

Likewise, if you spend more of your time with your average and good players
in hopes of turning them into good and great players, respectively, what does
that say to the lesser-skilled players? That they don’t matter because
they can’t shoot or defend as well as their teammates?

TIP

So how do you fairly penalize a starter and a substitute for the same
infraction? One approach is to take an equal amount of playing time from them
both—say, five minutes. Start the starter, but take five minutes from his
time.

The main point is to think through your penalties and assess them as evenly
as possible.

All your players need your attention and guidance to improve. They
need to adhere to the same team rules and be treated the same way if they break
those rules. And they all need to know that they are equally valued by you,
regardless of their playing abilities.

Know that after your season starts and you name your starters, players (and
parents) will feel that the substitutes are not quite as valued as the starters.
At the younger levels, you might rotate starting responsibilities from game to
game and thus avoid this dilemma, but at older levels, you’ll be starting
your best players.

So how do you handle this? First, make sure you give equal attention and help
to all your players in practice. They not only deserve this attention, but they
need it to contribute in their substitute roles. It helps your team when
everyone improves, not just your starters.

Second, let players know how the middle and end of the game is just as
important as the beginning. If you have 5 or 10 or 15 minutes to play, no matter
what segments of the game those minutes come in, the team needs every player to
contribute.

Third, emphasize that not everyone is going to be a scoring machine, and
reward players for all the other things—big and small—that
contribute to wins: rebounds, tough defense, steals, assists, and so on. Find
ways to tangibly reward substitutes who play well, doing the "little
things" that often go unnoticed. Don’t let them go unnoticed on your
team!

Consistent Style

They also need to know what to expect from you. If you are patient and
encouraging one practice and moody or volatile the next, the learning
environment suffers (as do the players). We all have mood swings, and
we’re not robots. But do strive to be even-keeled and consistent in your
approach from practice to practice, setting aside any personal issues that might
affect your mood and your communication with your players on any given day.

Be Positive

Kids learn best in a positive environment. Give them sound instruction,
consistent encouragement, and plenty of understanding. Note, however, that being
positive doesn’t mean letting kids run all over you, and it doesn’t
mean having a Pollyanna attitude where you falsely praise a player for almost
getting a rebound if, by using good technique, she should have easily gotten the
rebound. It means you instruct and guide your players as they learn and practice
skills and give them the sincere encouragement and praise they need as they work
to hone their abilities. You’ll learn more about how to use praise in
Chapter 6.

NOTE

These 10 keys not only apply to how you communicate with your players, but
should also guide your communication with parents, referees, other coaches, and
administrators.