A Blogger’s Confession: I’ve got nothing!

That’s what is says at the top of my screen, where the title of the document should be. But there is no document. There is no title. It just says “Blank”.

This is one hell of an accusation to a writer. “Blank”. It’s as if my computer is saying “You’ve got NOTHING! And you call yourself a writer. Ha! Blank!”

Okay, maybe I’m projecting my own subconscious thoughts onto this device. But it really does say “Blank”, and that word is sitting there, haunting me.

Why? Because sometimes I really do have nothing.

I love writing. I’m not too bad at it either. I love to discuss topics that are of interest to me. Anyone who knows me well can attest that I am rarely one to be at a loss for words. But some nights, I just sit and stare at an empty page. Nothing. Absolutely nothing coming to my mind.

And it’s not from a lack of topic ideas. I’ve got a whole list full of different topic ideas. And more come to me each day. In fact, I have so many ideas for things to write about that I feel great confidence that I will be able to keep writing for a long time to come. So many topics that I sometimes can’t decide which one to write about. And I often don’t even look at that list for days or weeks because of all the new topic ideas that come to me, either by my thoughts or from things that others say or ask.

But even with all those ideas, sometimes I just have no clue what to write about. Some might refer to this as “Writer’s Block”, but I feel like that is more about being stuck within a project and not being able to come up with the words to continue. This is different. I just can’t seem to find a single thing to say.

So I stare at the blank screen. And it stares right back. I know it isn’t actually laughing at me, it just feels that way. In the last 5 months I’ve published over 80 blog posts (plus numerous other writing pieces). And I have a list of 50-odd ideas of things to write about. But tonight, I’ve got nothing. Absolutely nothing.

So many things I want to write about. I want to write about my frustrations with people trying to rope me into their personal drama. I want to write a clever piece about my first experience with anal sex. I want address some issues that relate to the kinds of websites we really need in the Consensual Transactional Sex community. I’d like to reply to comment that someone left on my website today. There is a need for me to write about some serious problems with greed and selfishness in the CTS community. So many things.

So instead of posting some clever or informative or intriguing commentary on one of the many important issues of the CTS community, I am giving you this rambling diatribe of nothingness. I hope you will take some time to explore some of my actual work on the website. Posts from when my brain was actually functioning at a proper level and the screen was far from blank.