How to deal with family feuds

As far as possible, it is always a better idea to try to diffuse family feuds before they get out of hand. There are times however where it is best to walk away. We can’t choose our family and sometimes, family members are just toxic. Just because they are related to you does not mean you must put up with abuse at all costs.

Open up the lines of communication as early as possible to minimise the chance of misunderstandings growing out of proportion. Keep other family members out of it, don’t go about trying to split the family. Keep the dispute between you and the family member involved.

Do you best to understand the other person’s point of view, empathy allows us to be far more tolerant and this is more likely to lead to a solution rather than sticking doggedly to your point of view. Hear the other person out.

If however you have tried everything and tried to approach your family member in an assertive adult mode, it may be best to cut your losses.

Examples where it is best to walk away:

Theft of personal property

Deception that could cause harm. This does not include random disagreements as this is normal in most families.

Emotional abuse

Physical abuse

Repetitive harmful behaviour

No one likes to give up on family but I do think that trying to work out family realtionships whatever the cost is overrated.