How losing a mate made me rethink organ donation

R's decision to donate his organs means 10 people have been given another chance. (Getty Creative Images)

For many families the topic of organ donation is an emotional and divisive one. But sometimes it can take the saddest of events to help make up your mind. For the ABC's Pacific Correspondent Campbell Cooney, the death of a mate who wanted to donate, and the respect of his family for his wishes, were what convinced him.

Recently the people who make up the close knit community of friends in the Melbourne bay side suburb we all call home, lost one of our own.

One morning the word went out that overnight 'R' had been rushed to hospital and diagnosed with an aneurysm. During emergency surgery the doctors found there were two, not one aneurysm. Five hours of surgery followed.

The next day 'R' suffered a massive stroke, which brought with it the realisation for us that this could end badly.

Four days later 'R' passed away in his sleep. It was half-expected, but still a massive shock.

Aged 42 'R' had worked in a variety of jobs in the community, until deciding to become a teacher. His easy going nature, understanding and empathy meant he was highly respected, if not loved, by the staff and students, although apparently many of them were mightily impressed with his martial arts skills which he demonstrated on the willing student guinea pigs during PE.

He was a smoker and a drinker, and like many of us sometimes to excess.

He leaves behind an 18 month old son, a family in grief, and mates still stunned by what happened. We have to remember now when we get together for a chat, a beer or a meal, that he won't be along soon to join us.

Over 500 people paid their respects at the memorial service, and the wake lasted well into the next day at a number of the venues he'd been known to frequent.

In fact more than one person pointed out that the party was of such magnitude that it probably provided the breeding ground for another aneurysm.

But R's passing has provided the gift of life.

At some stage during his life 'R' had signed up for the Australian Organ Donor Register.

His family, although unaware of this until his death, was prepared to respect his wishes, and allowed the organ harvesting to go ahead.

What we now know is that R's decision means 10 people have been given another chance.

I can't think of a better way of describing it, other than to say that since his death R's heart, his lungs, liver, his left kidney and pancreas, his right kidney, his corneas and his sclera tissue have found new homes. At some time in the future his skin, bone and tendons, will do the same.

The other night a group of us were discussing this, and one came up with the prediction that in a few years time the recipient of R's liver will walk in the door of our local and declare, "I don't know why, but I had the sudden urge to come in here and order bourbon and dry!". Unlikely I know. But if it happens we'll have a laugh, share a round with him or her, and make them welcome.

But what R did has made us all think long and hard about being an organ donor.

In April this year the ABC's Four Corners program looked at organ donation around Australia, talking to the family of those in hospital and likely donors, and those whose names are on a long waiting list.

Some statistics from that story stand out. Organ donations are on the rise, but in 2012 around 40 per cent of possible donations were still refused, with the national authority coordinating donations, DonateLife, telling the program, that in many cases the potential donors haven't talked about their wishes with their family.

As mentioned that was the case with 'R'. Despite that his family decided to respect what he wanted.

Four Corners also followed the progress of Mark Colvin, the presenter of the ABC's Radio Current Affairs program PM, who had been on dialysis for three years after kidney failure. Mark is one of those who is a recipient of new kidney, in his case a kidney donated by a live donor, and the program followed him through that surgery and part of his recovery.

At the end of the story Mark described what he had been given as "the most gracious gift you could have".

I don't know Mark personally but I agree with his feelings. I am proud that a mate of mine was prepared to provide that most gracious gift. I am also proud that his family let him.

But a lot of us in our little bay side community are sad, and maybe a little embarrassed, that it took the loss of a mate, prepared to provide that sort of gift, to make us think seriously about doing the same.

Since then many have signed up, including me. Some of you may be opposed to organ donation on religious or social grounds. So be it, that's what makes the world a diverse and interesting place. But don't try and convince me of the merit of your arguments. I’m not buying anymore.

Just a final note, or perhaps a word of warning to future recipients of my parts. Given the thickness of my glasses the corneas will come with an up to date optometrist's prescription, and just so you know, I do intend to get the most mileage out of what I have got, before I go.

Campbell Cooney is the ABC's Pacific Correspondent. View his full profile here.