I was reminded this week of something that happened in gym class back in high school. In the locker room, someone found a pair of skidmarked underwear that was so bad it looked like they'd been a miniature runway. So, naturally, the guys used sticks to pick them up and fling them at each other. This more disgusting version of lacrosse went on for a little while until a fat kid intercepted the underwear with his bare hands. Then he looked at the racetrack he was holding and got upset and started chasing the other guy for about 30 seconds until he got winded and exhaustedly threw them at the wall. Finally a coach or someone showed up and put them in the trash, and he was also using a stick.

I forgot where I was going with this, but it's time for Weekend Web anyway.

The Doll Forum

There's a whole community out there for people who buy multi-thousand dollar sex dolls and post about boning them. It's definitely as pitiful as it sounds.

Honey, I love you, but putting my ding-dong inside a fake woman is my life. Don't try and change me.

Eh guys? Eh? EH?

The only thing weirder than boning a dummy is boning a dummy that looks like it's crying.

That whole "being alive" thing is overrated.

Keep on reaching for that restraining order.

I can just imagine some bald fat guy with a laptop and a gun breaking down doors to find his plastic lover.

(indecipherable yelling as eight heroes stand still in an ankle-deep wavepool)

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.