Danish Porn Site Hosts Smallest Penis Contest

We know not all junk is created equally, but we have our fellow lady friends to thank for creating a “good” and “bad” standard-- the big italian sausage versus the cocktail weenie. It’s tough enough being a guy, and having subpar manhood is just grounds for living a life akin to Rainy Day Randy’s. But over in Denmark, small packages are finally snagging the spotlight, if only briefly.

The porn site Singlesex.dk is on the hunt for the man with the smallest penis. In this contest, miniature manhood rules, and participants must send a picture of said teeny weenie with a measuring tape next to it. What happens if you beat out all other competition with your bologna pony? You get an iPhone, and runners up will receive an iPad! Yeah, tiny penises!

Morten Fabricus, the owner of the host erotica site, believes “the competition exposes a problem that rarely sees the light of day,” that problem being guys with small penises are continuously denied access to the latest Apple products.

Do you have a two or three-incher on your hands? Entries are accepted until January 31st. You might also want to get in a decent amount of wang-and-bang sessions before that stuff goes viral and your chances of getting laid become approximately zero.