The 50 Douchiest Clothing Items Of All Time

Ah yes, the mythical douchebag. Once an easily defined species, the douchebag has evolved throughout time and space to now represents a multitude of shapes, sizes, behaviors and, of course, wardrobes. The epic rise of the Internet has only exacerbated this fact—the enormous influx of information shared has made the douchebag more clever than ever before. As this sect of assholes matured, so did their clothing choices. Items once regarded as classic staples have been unprecedentedly co-opted and bastardized, becoming symbols synonymous with ostentatious tackiness right before our very eyes. And that's exactly why we've outlined the 50 most recognizable garments in the history of douchedom, so that you are better equipped to identify, avoid and, ultimately, protect yourself against their socially corrosive ways. Godspeed.

this list should be called “shit a dude who my girlfriend fucked and left me for owns.” what a fuckboy whoever made this shitty list.

Taylor

Am lost! It’s funny but this post is very contradicting. And very angry!

austotuneZz

Turns out you need to be naked to not be a douche

Andrew

Why is everyone in the comments section raging? I do not own any of the above items.

Sir

y’all some fags for getting pissed at this

Christopher Shawn

Sir, how far does the author have his hand shoved up your as that you feel the need to be his personal puppet?

Sharper Living

I have to say, Seersucker trousers are extraordinarily comfortable, and far better in summer than jeans/chinos/shorts.

http://azbikerbabestattoos.tumblr.com/ MurderToExcellence

LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Perfect comment

bruh

hah if you think your clothing options are only limited to these 50 items i feel sorry for you

MJS

raw selvedge?

Sir

this is the only justifiable comment on this page

Notorious

So everything is douchey? This list just makes you sound like you hate the world. Let people wear fucking sweatshirts, jeans and cargo shorts, who is this person to say an article of clothing defines you as a douchebag? Not everyone needs to dress like a hypebeast, the guy who wrote this sounds like an actual douche

Sir

faggot

TRISTVN SKPN

Some points on the list are great, and JUST what I had been thinking for a long time. Some “try hard menswear shit” really appeals to me, like nonchalant and subtle pocket squares.

Some are just there to bump the list up to 50, and make us spend more time on their site.

suril.

This site is so shit you can’t view anything cus of the ads!

whtTees

I’d like to see what this kid wears lol the first half was funny tho

Sus (Pronounced Sooz)

Lmfao the 5 Finger Shoe douche description is so accurate though.

Sir

yes

Themediabull

I guess if some of these objects had a “Mark McNairy”-tag they would be considered cool by you guys

louisbh

pathetic. this is the least productive waste of internet space I have ever witnessed. A bunch of self-righteous clothing snobs telling everyone how to be cool. The worst thing about the person who wrote this and the disease of their type in general is they themselves have done nothing – created nothing, invented nothing produced anything. All they can do is critic, their job is literally picking apart the creations of others- they are the lowest form of creation, walking breathing anti-matter that expel their polluted unoriginal opinions on things into the web-sphere, in order to gain attention and get “likes” and positive feedback- what a bunch of self-loathing faux ironic nerds, spending their life trying to be cool, what is less cool than that- they deserve our pitty not our praise.

pick a name they said

I want this comment to be on a front page newspaper and everywhere where anything exist.

lol

hating on people who you accuse of doing nothing but hating other people on the internet.

thanks bro

louisbh

That is called a circular argument I could just as easily say you are “hating on me”, you are not making a point?

nosferatu

don’t flatter yourself, he doesn’t give a shit about you bro, let alone “hating on you”

Kevin

If that is how you feel, then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU READING FOUR-PINS YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS DOUCHEBAG (haha)?

Dave Hahn

He made this list.

Ho Malone

At least when James Tirado hated on people it was funny. Welcome to the Four-Pins, bitch.

Bo

Suspenders made this list?! Really? C’mon now. And aviators? What?! What other classic sunglasses style is appropriate for pretty much every face shape? The rest is just terrible as well.

Get a grip people! It’s all in good fun. I find the list hilarious. My bf wears a few of the items on the list or has in the past. Even I wear aviators. Whatever you decide to wear just don’t try too hard and you’ll be fine.

Armando

Stop yelling at me! I hate your writing!

LILB_BASEDGOD

I DON’T APPROVE OF THIS LIST FAM THIS IS NOT #BASED
STAY BASED FAM

Sir

you aint lil b

Zain

BLUD! This list contradicts half of this site. You’ve hit a low point Four Pins.

queb

Fashion parody shirts is #1 as far as I’m concerned. I’m not sure I’ve ever actually seen anyone wearing one in real life aside from the Commes Des Fuckdown ones but they certainly are the scourge of online shops.

Funny how more than half of the stuff he considered douchey, he wears them himself. You really should add wearing Nike running shoes and Canadian tuxedo to the list too buddy

Dave Hahn

Why don’t you grow a pair and post non-anonymously, tough guy?

greg

i’d love to see what the person wears who wrote this…. i’d assume nothing.

scott

Nice list! I would tend to agree with many of them. Sports shirts are for sporting events. Giant belt buckles unless at rodeo or wrestling/boxing. But some (cargo shorts) are just shorts people “that don’t really care what they wear” wear. But aviators…well I kind of agree too, but I’m still gonna wear them!

Wow, there’s a lot of comments on this one. I don’t know if all of these items are specifically douchey? But the majority of them are for sure ugly or bad clothing to wear. In the case of raw selvedge and other items, I think he’s just saying you need to not have a specifically douche attitude toward them…

Cooltop

Jake keep on rockin’ the free world man.

Randy

“Still screaming fuck the free world”

DWEEB

hahahaha, four-pins bout that d-bag life eh? i didn’t even know about leather shorts ’til i became a reader…thanks for dropping knowledge

The Colonel

Ha ha guilty of four things on this list, aviators. but funny enough I sort of agree with their point on them. Boot cut jeans, guilty there also, but they look pretty good over running trainers such as new Balance, they avoid your feet looking too big, in my opinion. Trucker hats, what about E, fomr the Eels, he sports them quite well. Haven;t worn one in years, but used to like them. And vintage band t-shirts. I only wear one, bought it back in the day, hate that term, and it’s the Happy Mondays.
So I will excuse myself a douche there then. As the only two things i wear now are the jeans, and only for work, and the Mondays t-shirt I think I have got off quite lightly lol nice bit of nonsense internet blogging, cheers guys made me smile

This is one of the funiest things ihave read in forever. Thank gawd the art of good humor writing is not dead in this way-to-serious world.

Deej

So… what is left to wear?

nbozich

Adam wears puka shell necklaces.. #letsgetweird

MrC

In one foul swoop you poke fun at some terrible fashion, but also some standards that well, despite your godlike taste, will last longer than you. I like cargo shorts. Why? Because thin shorts are… hmmm… I can’t say. Then I toured your website to find things like short sleeved collared shirt with tea cups on them? Like a bad Hawaiian shirt. You like fads. Cheesy fads. I bet you stand in line for 2 days to buy some super ugly sneakers so your ghetto friends can be jealous. Whatever. Do you keep the tag on your hat? Because we all know how cool that is. How come you don’t talk about people who wear their pants hanging low? Oh, I bet you think that is cool. I could not even make it through your whole list. Why would I. Fleece jackets are going to be around forever. They took a hit, like Timberland did, when they became temporary ghetto wear, but they will bounce back once the ghetto has moved on to some other fad. I could make my own list of Douchiest Clothing with items you push on your site.

Shelly, Faery Queen

I thought the list was fucking funny, don’t know what you’re all moaning about

monk strap god

You guys are getting a little upset over nothing. The list is called “50 Douchiest clothing items of all time” not “50 items that will make you look like a douchebag”.. I see the writer’s point here, some of these pieces have been taken too far and overly used. Mind you I’m wearing a Fedora in this picture lol doesn’t make me a douche

I guess this list is all about being provocative. Im rocking vintage band shirt right now and a hottest chick i’ve seen in a while stopped to say I look good. How cool is dat?

Brandon Hamilton

Haha dont ever write an article again. Your just being a little bitch hating on all these things when half of them aren’t even bad. What the fuck do you wear king? Since you seem to be so much better than everyone else

pinthetailonthefunky

While most of this is on point, I’m not sure how 5-panels, jerseys, and tank tops are unacceptable summer apparel, especially if you live in a hot city. Five-panels and campers are often waxed or made with different materials than (often wool-based) snapbacks, making them more suitable for summer. Tanks and jerseys I shouldn’t have to explain. These pieces been in the streetwear game for a minute,

HolyCanoli

The idiot that wrote this article has the following characteristics:

1. Doesn’t Get Laid
2. Doesn’t Know what dressing up means.
3. Doesn’t Have a sense of fashion.
4. Doesn’t have self-esteem.
5. Last but not the least, certainly a DOUCHE bag who probably owns every single one of the items listed above.

I agree with some of the items listed but the other half, c’mon man have a life, do you want every single one in the world to wear freakin’ old navy shirt and go underwear streaking? Seriously those are the only things you missed!

GOD

OP is a douche tbh

Cameron Douglas

Maybe if the Four-Pins writers weren’t such knobs I could take them seriously

Jimmy Brown

lil wayne and i wear this type key chain…neither of us fit that discription son

SeanSB

That five panel is fucking rad! Does anyone know anything about it?

SeanSB

Good thing I’m a total douche because 1/2 of this shit is still cool to me

KryptoH

Jake woolf be rage-ing 24/7

thisfishcanswim

the grammar in this article is also pretty terrible. This seems to hate on preppy/crunchy/nerdy/hipster people more than other types of douches, but there are also a few things missing imo, like overly graphic gear from the likes of ed hardy or tapout, giant sunglasses instead of just aviators (oakley gas can, etc). What about shit like pajama bottoms or baggy sweatpants in public? Chunky skate shoes? Shirts, hats and socks to match every sneaker release? Loud-ass custom $45 elite socks? I’m also not saying that I think people who wear those things are automatically douchey, just that those seem to be things that fit the ill-formed criteria of this list. Also (I might be guilty of this as well) I think the author is confusing douchey with corny and lame, and needs to remember that people who don’t care about how they look shouldn’t count on these types of lists. To me, the douchiness comes when someone tries hard and looks like it. Like “ah shit look at that new heat! Just released!” *points to new pair of leopard-print crocs,* etc. I also think there is one key thing missing from this list: context. Douchey things come when there is no place for them, or they are being brazenly misused. Also, not to sound racist or whatever, but doesn’t a lot of this stuff appear to be things white guys typically and/or historically wear? (Seersucker, ribbon belts, slippers, critter pants)? Weird.

TheF@ctsoflife

I would love to know how many Complex employees regularly rock this stuff.
I would bet the number is quite high.

http://www.facebook.com/beeflydeesign bLu607

This whole article is hilarious, even if you own some of the aforementioned items. Why be offended? Wear what you like, and laugh at jokes, because, well….they are meant to be funny!

Nathan Hamilton

Whoever wrote this is clearly insecure and probably wears the same pair of jeans from walmart everyday. There is nothing douchy about wearing what you like and what is comfortable for you. The most hilarious one was about the sports shirts. People who wear them outside of sporting events aren’t douchy, they just want to rep their team.

joe

the “five finger shoe” as you call it, was made to give a person a more natural run, not to mention they’re pretty comfortable, so i guess im a douch, oh and i wear boot cut jeans and a giant belt buckle

C

You’re a HUGE douche for the belt buckle though…

jo

Look at all the douches you’ve angered.

Rick Owens

Why do you try to come at fashion. Talk shit post fit fuccboi

lolwut

Do you proofread your articles before you publish them?

Greg

Guilty of colourful laces, wifebeaters and vibram five finger shoes.

Bobby Brown

There was a post on four pins really recently about the best high-fashion sneakers and the Geobaskets were on there, a bit inconsistent don’t you think?

rhian

Everyone in the comment section must be a douche

brooklyn boy

I think everyone is just pissed about the 10 minutes of their life they’ll never get back, as am I. If you’re going to make a bullshit list like this at least make it shorter as to not waste everyone’s time. Because in all honesty it’s not the items that are douchey it’s how one wear’s them. Aviators are a staple part of my everyday look, any style conscious guy should have a pair, and that’s just one example of how you’re so off point.

BlackMinimalist

Hahahaha, in this post they say that high fashion sneakers are “douchey” but then they have another post which is about the top 25/50 (can’t remember) best high fashion sneakers. Oh the irony

Some of this shit on this list is granted, but a lot of this is reaching. It’s not the fucking garment who makes the douche, it’s the douche wearing the garment who makes the douche.

electrelane

A Douche is a Douche, it turns out, no matter the costume.

You’re a douche

The thing is… 90% of people in the world wear at least one thing on this list. 90% of people are douchebags?

NotADouche

Wow so I basically can’t wear a (metallica) tank top cargo pants with the belt and some Jordans without being a douchebag. Wow, not to sound like a douchebag but it really sound like you’re hating big time.

gojira

Author of this post, whatever you do, never ever set foot in Japan. All of these items are fashion staples for the Japanese male. You’ve been warned.

Shaw

This makes no sense WHATSOEVER. Lmao.

Max

The person who wrote this article, is probably the biggest douche of them all. Who cares what other people wear?

Jake

Well written, good humor.
Realized that i looked like a complete douche-nozzle in high school

Howle

NAH JAKE NAH THIS LIST IS NOT OKAY

chris

I agree with everything other than Raw Selvedge. Nobody makes you wear them raw. You can wash them the day you get them if you want.

disqus_uqFj75sE3v

one of the best written articles ahhah brilliant

loloo

I wore them all lol and im super douche, prince of the fadoucheries! I dont care though how people feel about it and rather I enjoy when people tremble in my presense becausre they feel inferior… I wonder how mmany of them ran home to blog abut it xD Its kinda like women with bish-face… we are not as evil as you think we are… but we do secretly love our powers ib society ps kill yaselves unless your a kid that gets bullied in school ^.,~

phil wins

Written by a Hater./?

anna

what about the drop crotch pants? the ones justin bieber wears???

squatty

jake woolf is always complaining about some bro stealing his chick from him… dork.

https://twitter.com/hootiemaniac77 Brooke Guz

Those Five Finger shoes irritate the eff out of me. Those who wear them are the royalty of Douchebaggery…and it’s even more douchy when they drive a Prius. Ugh.

JJ

This list is so fucking stupid. Clearly all he wears is dress slacks or sweatpants.

T.S.F.Y.M.W.Y.H.S.D.S.

what in the fuck…not even the question kind of wtf, but the statement kind of wtf…

Kitty Cat Randy

You bitter bruh?

OGJG

I can agree with some of these items but the other some seems like, As a previous commenter put it, dude got pissed off bc his gf fucked some other dude and these were the clothes he was wearing, Didn’t you probably get a communication degree? It sounds as if you just picked a handful of items for a handful of clothing genres/decades and said. These all suck.

TopJoshDragon

At least I can validate each item I own from this list. I’m only 5’6″ and have dreadlocks.

Casual Bowties: Even the shortest ties I can find go far below my belt. I have to tuck the hidden portion of a tie into my shirt so I can shorten the visible portion without the “hidden” portion hanging at my crotch.

Aviators: Only sunglasses with decent metal arms so I can bend them to stay on my Gerber Baby sized head. Without dreads I wore a 6 5/8 size hat.

5 Panel Hat: Most sweat resistant hat I could find for biking and basketball. Ever played basketball with dreads? Them shits get in your eyeballs every time. Also who doesn’t wanna feel like Wesley Snipes from “White Men Can’t Jump”?

Wife Beaters: These are never to be seen. They are strictly undershirts or pajama tops.

Tank Tops: When it’s over 95° F, it’s either this or shirtless. Which is worse?

Varsity Jackets: Cotton ones you get at the store. Hoodies are a pain with dreads. I like these better than sweaters as my no hood/collar outerwear.

I’m not even a guy, and I made the account just so I could comment. This list TOTALLY degrades a ton of guys who happen to come across a list as demoralizing as this one. Clothes make people feel good, and they’re made to be worn. Why create a list of 50 ‘douchey’ items of clothing, whose contents span across an entire range of styles, just to gain popularity? I don’t know who made this list, but find some common sense and take it down. Douche is a pretty harsh word, too. Why use it to describe the wardrobe of 90 PERCENT OF MEN???? You must walk around in underwear if you think you’re not a hypocrite.

Josh

wait, why are boot cut jeans douchey? Who ever wrote this is out of touch with reality.

SHiieetmathhafooka

carabiner keychains aren’t douchey. I use them. I don’t fit in anywhere. Not a douche. Not a jock. Not a nerd.