Wiener Wars! Oscar Mayer and Ballpark Face Off in Court

Everyone knows it's a dog-eat-dog world, but in Chicago's federal court, it was a dog-sue-dog world. Monday marked the beginning of the end of the lawsuit of the century. Oscar Mayer (owned by Kraft Foods) and Ball Park (owned by Sara Lee), the USA's two biggest hot dog brands, squared off in court in a trial to decide once and for all which frank is frankest.

Monday's trial opened with a ceremonious, "Let the wiener wars begin," from the judge, according to The Naperville Sun. And so the end of a two-year-old meaty legal battle began. According to The Christian Science Monitor, the legal arguments between the two brands began in 2009 when Kraft Foods held a national hot dog taste test. America's preference, Kraft touted, was for Oscar Mayer dogs over Ball Park's. Sara Lee sued, saying that its hot dogs were not prepared or served as they should have been, therefore making the whole test unfair and resulting in false advertisement. According to The Naperville Sun, Sara Lee's attorney, Richard Leighton, said, "The test director expressly ordered [those conducting the test] not to provide buns or condiments." This is important because, according to a quote from the lawsuit reported by Chicago Magazine, "In terms of a hot dog, the bun is the carrier of the hot dog and the hot dog is the carrier of the condiments."

Kraft retaliated by accusing Sara Lee of false advertisement in a 2009 ad that claimed Ball Park hot dogs were "America's Best Franks" and that others were not "even in the same league." Sara Lee took the offensive again and argued that Kraft, which said its Jumbo Beef Franks were made with "100 percent pure beef," was lying, that there was filler in the dogs that consumers would not classify as beef. Of course Ball Park hot dogs aren't all beef either, which led Kraft attorney Stephen O'Neil to deem the campaign "an act of utter hypocrisy."