Related Posts

Share This

John Travolta Vs Tom Cruise: Gay Off

Tom Cruise and John Travolta have a lot in common. Both are A-list stars, both have careers that have spanned decades, both are Scientologists, both are married to beautiful actresses and both have been dogged by gay rumours for years. I, personally, love a lot of their films and do not care for their private lives. So in order to quell the rumours I have devised an Alfred Kinsey-esque scale that will once and for all decide who is (hypothetically. I don’t want to go to jail) the gayest. The questions are awarded points as follows: +5 = Carson Kressley, 0 = neutral, and -5= John Wayne.

Team Straight

Team Gay

Contestant Number 1: Tom Cruise

Abusive Childhood: 0 points

Bullied at school: +3 points

Acted in plays at school: +5 points

Wanted to become a priest: +5 points

Got fired from the high school football team for drinking beer: -5

Is a vegetarian and doesn’t drink: +5 points

The volleyball scene in Top Gun: +5

Drives race cars: -5 points

Married Mimi Rogers: +5 points

Voted sexiest man alive: +5 and -5

Married Nicole Kidman: -5 points

Wore adult braces: +3 points

Has adopted children: +4 points

Has biological daughter: -5 points

T.J. Mackey in Magnolia: -10 points!

Collateral: -5 points

Blackmailed by gay pornstar Chad Slater: +5 points

Married Katie Holmes: -5 points

Sued Bold Magazine for claiming they had gay pornography of him: +5 points

Sat on top of the world’s tallest building: -5

Total Gay Score: 8

Contestant number 2: John Travolta

Did musical theatre as a child: +5 points

Favourite film is Yankee Doodle Dandy: +5 points

Cleft chin: 0 points

Nailed the actress playing his mother in The Boy in the Plastic Bubble: -5 points

Currently you have JavaScript disabled. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page.Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser.