Captain 2024

Contents

Mission

Captain For President is a non-profit organization seeking to educate the American public on the newly formed Magical Dancing Potatoes party and the advantages of electing our Captain to presidency in the 2024 election.

The Magical Dancing Potatoes Party

TMDPP is the ULTIMATE political party. It is a fusion of conservative politics, and inde. Folk music.

The party was formed by Captain about, like two weeks ago.

Campaign Promises

If Captain is elected for president in 2024, he will:

Give everyone in the United States one dish of home-made apple sauce

Change the national anthem to "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round"

Make bus transportation affordable for everyone and make it the major form of public transportation.

Make the official American Hat the "Captain Hat"

Presidential Cabinet

Vice President: David S.

First Lady: Joe C.

Secretary of State: Brandon G.

Secretary of Internal Security: Scott R.

Secretary of Nuclear Missiles (formerly known as Secretary of Defense): David N.

Secretary of Public Health: Matt B.

Secretary of Transportation: Mr. H.

Secretary of Agriculture: Aaron W.

Ambassador to the U.N.: Anders Z. (he also serves as vice head of the TMDPP)

Head of the FCC: Matt P.

White House Chef: Ben P.

Assistant White House Chef: Taryn G.

Attorney General: Austin Z.

Official White House Bouncer: D.J. D. (for when the guests get tipsy)

Head of the Secret Service: John E.

White House Entertainer: James R.

National Geek and Webmaster: John R.

Campaign Advertising Tactics and Goals

2006-2024- Become extremely popular with young people through the extensive use of Myspace, Facebook and YouTube.

2007-2024- Give away promotional bumper stickers and buttons

Produce the No.1 radio show: "The Capitan Show"

Around 2022-Put together a super-group, and make "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round" A #1 chart busting hit.

After America falls in love with the song, come out publicly and tell them that Captain will make it the national anthem if they elect him President.

Superbowl 2024- Air a Campaign ad featuring our new smash hit.

Endorsement Quotations

"Voraciously Authoritative" - Anders

"It's like caffine... for yur' sooowl" - Matt P.

"And I saw Dancing Potatoes rise up out from under the great ass and the great elephant, and the earth and the people rejoiced greatly." - Revelation 16:8 (paraphrased from the DGV)