Ned Stark Cake Pops (And Other Severed Heads)

Get more Spoon in your feed.

Get Spoon University delivered to you

You tryna be tricky? That email doesn't look right.

The very first episode of our beloved Game of Thrones gave us an introduction to the blood and gore to come in the rest of the series. Frozen dead bodies on the snowy ground, a white walker with the thirst to kill, and a swift swing of Ned’s sword to slice at the neck of a Crow were just the beginning. Today, I’m going to show you how to make your friends feel more uncomfortable than the genital wart scene in last week’s episode by serving them severed heads served on spikes, blood and all.

We’ve seen countless heads on spikes throughout the seasons of GOT, some familiar, some strangers, but this recipe is in homage to our good friend Eddard “Ned” Stark. Be warned, this is not an easy recipe. Impressing your friends is a difficult task, but it pays off in the end when they quiver in fear of your power to sever cake-heads and put them on spikes.

Note: All recipes were inspired by Jammy Lannister’s cookbook, Game of Scones.

Ned Stark Cake Pops

Prep Time:45 minutes

Cook Time:35 minutes

Total Time:80 minutes

Servings:Dozens (depending on cake ball size)

Advanced Course

Ingredients

1 red velvet or vanilla cake mix

1 frosting container

1 bag of white chocolate chips

2-4 tablespoon coconut oil (or shortening)

wooden skewers

red food dye

Photo by Kirby Barth

Step 1

Make a cake (read the box, make it from scratch, whatever you please). For those strong at heart, buy red velvet cake mix or add red dye to your batter to capture the full effect of a beheading. (Note: for a quicker baking time, make cupcakes instead of a whole cake).

Photo by Kirby Barth

Step 2

Allow it to cool. Do not be tempted by the aroma of the cake – a Stark does not eat cake raw.

Step 3

Use your hands (do you really think you’ll find a KitchenAid in Winterfell?) to crumble the cake in a large bowl and mix it with about half a container of frosting (if it seems dry, add more frosting).

Photo by Kirby Barth

Step 4

Roll out balls of cake about an inch in diameter, or however large you want the head to be (Note: the larger it is, the more difficult it will be to stay on the spike).

Photo by Kirby Barth

Step 5

Put cake balls into freezer for about 20 minutes.

Step 6

Remove cake balls from freezer and slide them about a third of a way down each skewer, starting from the pointy end (one cake ball per skewer).

Step 7

Melt about ½ cup white chocolate chips in a bowl with 1-2 tablespoons of coconut oil at a time (see this video on how to make the perfect chocolate here).

Photo by Kirby Barth

Step 8

Add drop or two of red food dye to achieve desired skin color (Note: Skip this step if you used red velvet cake mix).

Step 9

To prevent the heads from sliding, put a small amount of chocolate on each skewer and allow it to cool to form a sort of wall.

Photo by Kirby Barth

Step 10

Use a spoon to drizzle chocolate over each cake ball until it covers it entirely and place them on a plate or over a bowl to cool. You may choose to freeze the heads for a few more minutes.

Photo by Kirby Barth

Step 11

Begin a feat of artistry to create the faces of these victims, Ned, Crows, and maybe even Joffery if you’re feeling vengeful. Use red gel dye to add full effect. To create hair, mix white frosting with chocolate or simply use chocolate frosting in a pastry bag.

Photo by Kirby Barth

Step 12

Freeze final cake pops until it’s time to show them to your friends in an act of barbaric consumption.