Pages

Labels

Saturday, December 20, 2014

There comes a time in every young man's life when he's tempted to try cross-dressing...

Toby might only be wearing his Mum's slippers, but by heck, he's loving it. I'm the same with Lisa's bras.

Of course, he's not the only one dressing up at the moment. Amelie has spent a lot of the build-up to Christmas looking sheepish with a group of ram-raiders...

I think the one on the right is saying "I love ewe". Personally I'd give her the chop. You can't pull the wool over my eyes, and I think my daughter's being fleeced.

Anyhoo, one person who definitely isn't mutton dressed as lamb is my mother, who celebrated her birthday on Wednesday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her. I'm only saying that because I was up to my ears in work all day, and completely forgot to phone her. But hey, it's the thought that counts. Although I didn't give her one of those either.

The good news, however, is that after seven weeks of work-craziness, I'm now officially getting into the Christmas spirit. I was up before dawn this morning, watching The Search for Santa Paws on Netflix with the kids. They were fairly unmoved (although Toby did feel moved enough to chuck baubles at the TV), but frankly I was blubbing like a baby. It's not every film that features a cute five-year-old singing about the death of her parents on the steps of the orphanage a week before Christmas. I think the only reason it went straight to video was because the cinemas couldn't supply enough tissues.

The other thing currently reducing me to tears is the thought of having to go to Asda on the weekend before Christmas, but I'm putting that to the back of my mind, and attempting to solve the problem by writing to Santa and asking him to bring me a loaf of bread. Let's face it, he won't be bringing Amelie anything, because with a week to go before the big day, she's suddenly changed her name by deed poll. For reasons which completely escape me, she's now calling herself Ameelieamelie. She's a bit like Marky Mark and Flava Flav, but with more talent.

It means we've started to receive cards like this...

And formal notices like this one...

If Banksy would only follow her example, Clacton council could have saved themselves a lot of embarrassment.

Anyhoo, I'm working right up to Christmas Eve this year, so I'll be arriving home with Santa on Wednesday, but I plan to spend this weekend immersed in festive preparations. Lisa's in charge of the presents, the wrapping, the shopping, the cooking and the cleaning, while I'm in charge of this year's Christmas turn. I plan to get Amelie to perform a duet of 'Love is an Open Door' with me. I've already downloaded the karaoke backing track and printed out the lyrics. We're both quite musically talented, so I don't expect it'll take us long. I'm thinking maybe twenty minutes rehearsal time, and we'll have it off pat. Watch this space...