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help...babysitter

This is the first year I have had to use a sitter that was not family. For the first month of summer she went to a day camp, VBS, and a dance camp, now she is at home with a sitter she has been here 2 weeks. Well DD,6, said she is boring and will not play with her. Okay well I know how DD can be so I just told her to ask her to play every once in a while. Then she took DD with her to the post office, I gave the okay, when I got home DD was in her pjs and hair a mess, DD said she asked her about getting dressed and was told she was okay. Then when I ask DD what she had for lunch its oh I did not have anything or the sitter will say she did not say she wanted anything till 330 and just got her a happy meal.....really I make sure the kitchen is full of fruit, veggies, and yummy foods...no junk DD has allergies. DD also told me that the sitter had a guy over 3 times, never told her she could have anyone over, yet I would not mind if I was asked.

So needless to say I have let the sitter go and I have another one coming in Monday and I need to know how I should layout the rules? Like DD is to get dress, have a good meal at the right time, does some work sheets, plays outside.....ect. with out seeming like the crazy mom.

I think you need to have some house rules that the babysitter needs to enforce. You can state them as such. Everyone dressed by 10am in regular play clothes, Eat healthy foods available for meals. 2 worksheets a day. 1-2 hours outside for playtime weather permitting etc. What time does the sitter need to be there?

I have to be at work ay 8 so I have told her to be here no later then 745, so that I have time to get to work.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I think you need to have some house rules that the babysitter needs to enforce. You can state them as such. Everyone dressed by 10am in regular play clothes, Eat healthy foods available for meals. 2 worksheets a day. 1-2 hours outside for playtime weather permitting etc. What time does the sitter need to be there?

Yep, you are the boss. Give clear expectations of what you expect. Make a loose schedule for dd and tell her you don't expect it to be followed to the letter but it should be a rough plan for the day. I always appreciated when parents did this for me verses just letting me wing things.

I am the type of babysitter that i need to know house rules and expectations so i know how to plan the time accordingly. Children from age 3-8 try to tell me that their mom/dad said something was ok when i know that is against a particular rule. I do my best to back up the parents so there is that consistency there.

If you want things to go a certain way you need a schedule. There is nothing wrong with that when sitters or nannies do all day work a schedule is a big help. Then you know the parents wishes and it is hard to screw up. When you just let people go they tend to do things there way and as you have seen that is not always appropriate. And if you don't want people over unless they ask permission first let that be known.

IMO...I'd tell her "after our last sitter I've learned I need to say how I want things even though they might be obvious, so please forgive me if you feel like I'm talking down to you, we've just had a bad experience." Then go on with how you expect things done.

It sounds like the things you want/expect are common sense, but I guess if this is a younger girl without children it would be good to make a schedule...or maybe just a list. I guess I would ask, as an interview question, what would a day look like that she planned. Maybe ask her how she would plan a day and then go from there, you may only need to add a few things or just give some advice.

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