"It is long accepted by the missionaries
that morality is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing people
wore."

-- Alex Carey (Australian Philosopher)

"The lack of balance
between the birth-rate of the 'unfit' and the 'fit', admittedly the greatest
present menace to the civilization, can never be rectified by the
inauguration of a cradle competition between these two classes. The example
of the inferior classes, the fertility of the feeble-minded, the mentally
defective, the poverty-stricken, should not be held up for emulation to the
mentally and physically fit, and therefore less fertile, parents of the
educated and well-to-do classes. On the contrary, the most urgent problem
today is how to limit and discourage the over-fertility of the mentally and
physically defective. Possibly drastic and Spartan methods may be forced
upon American society if it continues complacently to encourage the chance
and chaotic breeding that has resulted from our stupid, cruel
sentimentalism."

-- Margaret Sanger,
founder of Planned Parenthood, from her manifesto The Pivot of
Civilization

"Great Spirit gave us
this land. White men came and killed our animals and destroyed our land,
then told us to go to work for a living. We don't want what they call
civilization." -- Crazy Horse

(State
of the Civilization Address)

First
off, let me just say that I am for liberty, freedom, and civilizations. I am
against the uncivilized. And furthermore, I will not tolerate nor negotiate
with any person unless they are wearing a business suit or a military
uniform. Case Closed.

Insurgency from Saddam loyalists will be counteracted with collateral
damage. Muqtada As-Sadr's militia is illegal. Soldiers must have at least a
high school diploma. His fighters do not have health insurance. They do not
have a G.I. Bill to pay for college. The illegal fighters in Iraq do not use
the necessary equipment to fight the American army. Iraqi militias cannot
offer Navy housing or discounts on soaps and other fine products like at our
Naval Exchange. Osama bin Laden and Al-Sadr shop at thrift stores. They do
not represent the future of a unified and free Iraq.

The
American people cry at night. They weep for the lack of Starbucks in
Baghdad. They dream for rivers that are polluted like those in our Great
Basin. The civilized believe Iraq will one day be a jewel for modern and
private prisons. America is proud to host 25% of the world's prison
population, while our noble land hosts only 8% of the world's people. Our
laws are THAT good.

Our
beliefs, those of a civilized nation, are strong and secure. We will not
negotiate with the terrorist entities of Nature. Sharks are biting arms off
young surfer girls. Mountain lions are harassing our beloved cyclists.
Africanized bees may overtake us all. But I have faith in the American
people. We have outlawed Chinese herbs and narco-terrorist plants like
Cannabis Sativa. Our soldiers have instructions to remove these devilish
plants as they overtake our communities.

We are
taking a hard line against the evil-doers who created Nature.

We
have gone to Mars as we look for the terrorists who force these evil
creatures and plants onto this great civilization. I ask you, America, to
bear with me while we pave every river with concrete. Because oceans will no
longer protect our civilization. We need strong decision making regarding
AIDS in Africa. Bill Gates, praise be to him,
has
offered billions of dollars and his knowledge of mass-production to
strike at the heart of the evil-doer virus. As Tony Blair says, Africa is a
"scar" on our civilization. We must show Africa how to be healthy by
introducing low-carb meals and Pfizer pills to their great nation.

Bear
with me America. Our civilization will live on. For this is not only a clash
of civilizations; this is about God. We believe it is the right thing to do.
For the security of the American people and future civilized people: God
Bless.

--
President of the Civilized States of America

Dear Mr. President:

"I have the honor to
inform you that the thirty-eight Indians and half-breeds ordered by you for
execution were hung yesterday at Mankato at 10 a.m. Everything went off
quietly and the other prisoners are well secured."

-- Telegram from
Brigadier-General H. H. Sibley to President Abraham Lincoln after the
largest mass hanging in the history of the United States, St. Paul,
Minnesota December 27, 1862.