2016’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 1!

(Well, I don’t always mean “best.” Sometimes just “noteworthy.” I hope you can forgive me this trespass. “2016’s Most Noteworthy Halloween Junk Food” just sounded so clunky.)

This will be a multipart series, because my #1 goal each Halloween season is to eat everything and then spend November singing an a cappella version of Man in the Mirror whenever I take a shower.

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Bag of Bones!

THESE ARE PERFECT. Joining the Bag of Bones family is this all-new Flamin’ Hot version, which replaces the original’s bone white cheddar with fiery red death.

I might like this version even more. I get that the white cheddar Cheetos let us create more classically appropriate skeletons, but that’s kinda my point. Skeletons are spooky, but they have nothing on fleshy remains. With these, I feel like I’m creating the first acts for Hellraiser movies. They look so evil!

Plus, white cheddar Cheetos are good in theory and even good in practice, but they’re not so good when you’re on the couch and you have all day and you just don’t give a fuck. If I’m going to plow through fifty ounces of Cheetos, I don’t want it to feel like work. I want to do it obliviously and deal with the fallout later. I feel like I could do that with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

GRADE: A+.

Cauldron Skittles!

Love this concept! New Cauldron Skittles present a bewitching blend of eerily-named flavors, like Petrified Pear and Bogey Berry. The color of the mix feels distinct (note that there are no reds), and it really captures the spirit of a cartoony witch’s brew. It looks like the sort of magic gunk that might morph into a demon frog. We’ll call him Ribbad.

Most of the flavors are pleasant in a benign sort of way, but I gotta give up it for those Bogey Berry Skittles. (Mercifully, they named the blue ones that instead of the expected green ones.) They have a sweet-but-sharp flavor that to me felt more on the level of Starburst candies. Course, they’re blue, so I’d pick them even if they tasted like dishwater.

GRADE: A-. (My heart says “A+,” but my brain knows that there’s still room for improvement. Black bags would help. And also maybe a witch mascot with a giant strawberry for a head. And then they can add rare black Skittles that only turn up once per bag. C’mon, Schwartz.

White BOO-tterscotch M&M’s!

I’m thrilled that M&M’s came up with another new Halloween flavor, but I wish they hadn’t picked one that I was guaranteed to dislike.

White Chocolate BOO-tterscotch M&M’s do not go light on the butterscotch. You’ll be overwhelmed by how butterscotchy they smell immediately upon opening the bag. The stink hits you like it’s made of granite. You don’t so much smell it as just try to weather it.

I don’t like butterscotch in general, so these M&M’s didn’t stand much of a chance. The flavor was just too reminiscent of fermented syrup for me to consider them as anything more than a distraction from problems far larger than iffy M&M flavors. But that ain’t hay either, I suppose.

GRADE: C+.

Darkness Kit Kats!

Oh man, the name on these! Darkness! Just Darkness! Not Chocolate Darkness or Darkness Delights or any other bet-hedging bullshit. They’re just plain Darkness, and I love ‘em for that.

I am eating DARKNESS. My actions will inspire poems from the disaffected.

I’m not big on dark chocolate, but I think it’s accurate to say that these are dark chocolate in a milk chocolate kind of way, y’know? They create the illusion of exotica. And they crunch like particle board.

GRADE: A. I don’t prefer them to normal Kit Kats, but they couldn’t be more perfect for a Halloween release. I can’t wait to hand these out to trick-or-treaters. I don’t care if kids hate dark chocolate.

Scary Berry Ghoul-Aid Jammers!

So yeah, they changed Scary Blackberry Ghoul-Aid into Scary BERRY Ghoul-Aid. Criticizing the Kool-Aid Man makes me itchy, but he kinda screwed the pooch on this one.

The newly-blue Kool-Aid tastes nothing like Scary Blackberry, and it’s no improvement on it, either. Picture a half-melted store brand popsicle being run through a cheesecloth. Sure, this new Ghoul-Aid may have half the calories of the original, but at what cost?

Truth is, I don’t really care what it tastes like, and the color IS pretty fetching. My problem is that they’re still calling it Ghoul-Aid, complete with a slapdash packaging upgrade that couldn’t have taken more than five minutes. Imagine if they’d called it “Berry Boo” and had a witched-up Kool-Aid Man stirring his own head on the boxes. People like me wouldn’t be criticizing — we’d be getting fucking tattoos.

Grade: C. If this blue stuff is gonna be Kool-Aid’s new Halloween standard, I can live with that. But we’re gonna need a name change and new packaging. And a return of the Wacky Warehouse. And… pizza? Yes, let’s see if we can score a pizza out of this, too.

First, let me just say that I’m impressed that you spent money on candy you knew you wouldn’t like. Thanks for going the extra lengths to feed the blog.

Second… I think maybe I’ll try and track down the Darkness Kit Kats for my trick-or-treat bucket this year. I always have a bucket for trick-or-treaters, just in case. I haven’t had a trick-or-treater here in 20 years. So it may as well be something that sounds good to me, right?

I dropped a ridiculous amount of money at Target this week on snacks for a video (that should be out next week, if I can get editing well!) and man, those butterscotch M&Ms were disappointing. Not nearly as bad as the Smores ones, though. Those…man, I want a refund.

William Sircin

How about “noteworthiest”?

Jeff

Aw man, I was just at Target to day and didn’t see any dark chocolate Kit Kats. Which sucks ’cause dark chocolate is the best.

Also, those butterscotch M&Ms are great. If you like butterscotch, I guess. Which I do. SO THERE.

My girlfriend is the one who goes nuts over Halloween themed stuff. Sadly I’ve reached a point where as long as I get a box of Frankenberry, Brach’s Autumn Mix, and a couple of Reese’s pumpkins I’m good.

Haha thanks, I try to stay consciously objective when I know I have my own biases against something, but I just didn’t think the M&M’s worked.

As for the Ghoul-Aid, kills me to say anything bad about Kool-Aid ever, but I just want to help them. Next year, put this in a new box and give it a new name. We’ll king you.

Derek Lang

I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s mind immediately went to Hellraiser upon first sight of the Flamin Hot Bag of Bones

Madra Rua

Everyone knows the best flavor of any candy is red. No not strawberry, cherry, etc. RED. Why would Skittles forsake me like this? They even used a red one to dot the i just to remind me of what I can’t have. Cruel.

Terry

I saw those Flamin’ Hot Cheetos a couple of weeks ago, but passed on them figuring I would have plenty of opportunities to pick ’em up.

Those Kit Kat’s and Skittles are a must buy as well.

Right now I have like 5 Halloween junk foods on my shopping list. I don’t think I am doing this whole adult thing correctly.

Yeah, the Ghoul-Aid change just seems like they were trying to sneak one past people. “Oh, the kids won’t care…” And it makes me wonder what the whole reasoning was in the first place. I can’t believe that “generic-berry” was more popular than blackberry, considering it’s sold well as-it-was for years. And it can’t be that they couldn’t get their hands on blackberries. Blackberries are one of the most obnoxiously hardy fruits there is. They’re like kudzu out here. Growing them isn’t a problem; not growing them is a problem.

I believe the new version has fewer calories, for whatever that’s worth. My working theory was that they were trying to eliminate names that suggested outright inclusions of fruits (blackberries) where the vaguer “berry” would suffice.

I was so let down by the new Ghoul-Aid! There are definitely still Blackberry’s (or more accurately blackberry flavorings) in it. I didn’t notice the lower calorie count, but I did think that it tasted like “diet Ghoul-Aid.” First thing I did was hit Google to try to find out why they changed it. This yielded no results so then I had to cope with the crushing existential emptiness you feel whenever you Google something it seems no one else has ever Googled before you.

My tip to fix it and redeem your Halloween beverage needs: Mix it with Ecto-Cooler. I did this the other day. It felt like something that needed to be done, even though I assumed there was no way it would ever be good… And it was actually quite pleasant. I’ve been calling it simply “Halloween Juice.”

Sammy Hain

Ok, all in here, I like to be positive but there seems to be lots of missteps this year

Yeah, my initial impression of the 2016 junk food/candy season is that it’s good but not legendary. Thank God for that Wayback Burgers promotion!

Whalley Range

The night. It comes to me
like static to a 1986 Sony Watchman,
the water-resistant model,
impervious to my tears.

Yet, on this midnight dreary,
I recall the pallid visage of Matt the Madd.
Safe within his particle board fortress
of soulitude,
befriending corpses,
harmonizing with lepus,
braving horrors beyond imagining.
Matt the Madd, consumer of
darkness.

And, lo, I am lifted. With
Madd’s appetite for shade, there is
less to consume me! There is
hope.
And a whip-poor-will sings in the night:
“Forevermore! Forevermore!”

Not sure why but it’s always difficult to get Ghoul-Aid round here. otherwise most of the snacks have been pretty easy to get this year, was even lucky enough to get a can of Black Phillip.
Been avoiding picking up Cauldron Skittles since I can’t be trusted with a big bag just to myself. There need to be other people around to bite some of that bullet.
Has anyone else seen this year’s Hostess Scream Cakes and Glo-Balls? They absolutely nailed the packaging this year. Completely deserving of a spot on any mood table.

Doctor_Who

Wondering if I should try the Skittles. I’ve never been able to really enjoy their more “out there” offerings, regular Skittles are always superior. Except for the sour ones, those are cool.

Hobgoblin238

I hate dark chocolate. I think I am ellergic to it.

Rydolton

That’s disappointing about the M&Ms. I saw these in a target and put em back on the shelf. Then decided it was time to try them and they haven’t been in Stock since.

Maybe it’s for the best.

The only way DARKNESS could be cooler is if they made the wafers inside Blood Red!

I have a couple of cases of Ghoul Aid that I bought from Target a few weeks ago and I didn’t even realize they changed the name, the taste and the color! What?! I obviously haven’t tried it yet and it’s just cooling in the fridge but now I need to know! I definitely want to try the flaming Bag of Bones and the Darkness Kit Kat…the M&M’s and Skittles don’t really appeal to me despite the cute packaging. I might just end up buying ’em for decoration!

starwenn

The Kit-Kat bag is the only one I’ve seen at work so far…but it’s the only one I’d take out of this batch. I looove dark chocolate, even when it’s not that bitter. If I can’t find my usual York Peppermint Patties shaped like pumpkins, I might have to get those at the after-holiday sales.

Haven’t seen anything else listed here yet. I might be willing to give the M&Ms a go, but I’m not a big fan of Cheetos or anything remotely spicy. Skittles are too sweet for my taste. I don’t usually haul juice home, either, although I do remember the original Ghoul-Aid being pretty decent.

(I did see this year’s Monster Cereals in the back storage area looking like they’re a day or two from being loaded on the shelves, so I know those are on their way.)

Jobee818

Good but still not Cheetos Paws. I long for the day of their comeback. I would give up almost all junk food for those

I’m still trying to find the skittles…I think the M&Ms are a sure thing if I hit my local Target.

So Ghoul-Aid…they just up and got rid of blackberry? I see the package in your picture…so is that last years that you just happened to have a spare one to compare with? A shame if that’s so…I actually liked the blackberry…it was the one kool aid flavor that actually had FLAVOR…for years kool aid has been really bland. The last good flavor they had IMO was that Ice Cool Green Apple. Damn that was the bomb…anyone remember that? Even warm it had a cooling sensation…it was my everything for one summer…

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

so then…is the Scary Blackberry gone forever? I will try this…Scary Berry, but…hmm.

I am ALL SYSTEMS GO on these Cauldron Skittles, damn. Can’t wait to try. I won’t eat any of the other featured items, but I do love the gimmicks. I was walking in the candy aisle at the Acme the other day just enjoying all the new wrappers and packaging the standard candy comes out with for this time of year. I can’t eat a lot of it, but I do enjoy the atmosphere and aesthetic. I like that is bleeds over into the cereal and snack aisles now too.

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

challenge accepted. Will report back.

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

because actual fruit juice isn’t an ingredient, methinks. haha

TikiMonster

Please do, let me know that I’m not alone in my madness.

Retrocity

I enjoyed the M&Ms but I like butterscotch. I was a little disappointed that they kept the Pecan Pie M&Ms at Walmart, since they’ve typically done a new flavor at both each year. They weren’t bad, but they were really sweet to me.

I want to try the brunch flavored candy corn they have at Target, but I’ve kinda been on the fence.

ChimChamChum

a few years ago when Ghoul Aid made it’s triumphant return it was branded as a “Limited Edition” which I took to mean that it’d never hit store shelves ever again. I bought, and this is absolutely not a lie, 50 bucks worth of Ghoul Aid packages. Not for some attempt at eBay fortunes, but because I genuinely love the flavor of Ghoul Aid. The upside is that I had so much Ghoul Aid that I started inventing things to do with it. For example that halloween we had a “Witches Brew” cauldron in the middle of our snack table. The rule was when a liquor bottle (No wine) got to 1/4 left you had to pour the rest of the bottle into the cauldron. So in, went all flavors of rum (I.E. Coconut, Mango, basically the entire gamut of tropical flavors) Tequila’s, Vodka’s of every flavor, absinthe, Cinnamon fireball, literally anything that wasn’t wine. Then 5 packages of Ghoul Aid.

It was like drinking nectar straight from the gods. I don’t remember much of that night, and neither does pretty much anyone else who drank any of it. I do remember that it tasted damn good and no hangover.

ChimChamChum

OH! The point behind the story was that I recently found like 80 more packages of that stuff. In a tupperware bin in my closet.

Sarah

Bag of Bones Hot Cheetos is literally the best idea. It really is perfect. I love hot cheetos and I have had copious bags of them in my life time (I used to dip hot cheetos in a seasoning similar to Tajin. For extra oomph, ya know). But hot cheetos shaped like bones? Pure delicious genius.

Brew Berry

Totally with you on the M&Ms, I like butterscotch, and I like the butterscotch syrup that hardens into a crunchy shell after you pour it on ice cream, which is what these M&Ms tasted a lot like. But after trying several handfuls, I decided what they probably tasted most like is butterscotch-scented candles, cause DAMN they’re waxy. I hate wasting food, even “food” that requires quotes around it to avoid any confusion with actual food, but I ended up throwing out the bag, which was still mostly full.

Brew Berry

Not just bones. Bones lightly coated in charred flesh. Which makes them the ultimate awesome movie snack to eat when you’re watching the skeleton fight in NOES 3: Dream Warriors.

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

million dollar (25 cent) question: if the flavor was changed on the Jammers this year…what’s the status of the powder packets?!?!

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

what ratio of each flavor did you mix?

Pirate John

My thoughts:

Cheetos: Saw these earlier tonight, and I might have bought them if they were normal Cheetos, and not the Flamin’ Hot variety. Normal Cheetos are the only flavor I’ll touch.
Skittles: They look appealing, but I don’t really eat Skittles anymore.
M&Ms: I do like butterscotch, and white chocolate is the only chocolate I can eat (due to the absence of caffeine), but I hate how M&Ms invariably makes their white chocolate-based candies larger than normal M&Ms. Completely changes the mouthfeel. Give me normal sized white chocolate M&Ms (preferably without additional flavors), and I’ll buy them by the dozen, even if I won’t eat them that way.
Kit-Kats: Since, as mentioned, I don’t eat non-white chocolate (that sounds racist), I can’t eat these, but I agree the name is perfect.
“Ghoul-Aid”: Nope. Total agreement here. You can’t just change the flavor and color and keep the same name.

Scott Southworth

This…”Diet” Ghoul-Aid is really disappointing especially after drinking so much sugary Ecto Cooler

See, I like butterscotch, but even if the M&Ms are good butterscotch, I’m disinclined to try them simply because butterscotch is not a “eat it by the handful” flavor to me — and M&Ms are not a “nibble on one or two” kind of snack.

TikiMonster

I just poured a packet of Ghoul-Aid and a juice box of Ecto into a cup.

TikiMonster

I actually kinda wish they had just dived all the way in with this line of thinking. Instead of “Scary Berry”, I think “Scary Artificial Fruit Substitute” sounds a lot more frightening.

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

came across the Cauldron Skittles just now at Rite Aid (yes, I went out looking at 3:30am), but only in the big bag of little Trick or Treat size packs, no individual bags, will look elsewhere for those.

When the new Ghoul-Aid blue color is nice but I think I prefer the darker NyQuil shade of green of the Scary Blackberry version. Feels more Halloweeny.

BobSlobNards

I can’t find Bag o Bones Cheetos any damn where.. Sold out in Walmarts across multiple zip codes. But they sure as hell are selling for 10 bucks a bag on Amazon. It’s pretty bad when you’ve got Cheeto Vultures Scalping Halloween Edition Cheetos. The hate welling up within me wants to describe appropriate punishments for these a- holes but I will leave it up to the imaginations of your readers.

It does. I’m not going to blast blue Kool-Aid because it’s always been one of my favorite K-A colors, but the original was more on-point. (And I think was actually more purple than the photo suggests, since that pack is two years old and probably dulled by now.)

I’ve only seen LARGE bags of Cauldron Skilttles, not the standard size — I’m not sure if they made those. Think I saw the T-o-T sized ones, but they’re stuck in there with a bunch normal Skittles too, right?

I don’t really want to try the Brunch Favorites candy corn, but I have to. It’s Brunch Favorites candy corn! It shouldn’t have happened and will probably never happen again and sometimes you just have to share in those moments. And I’m going to take careful note of exactly where I am and what I’m doing when I try them, so that later when people are comparing their “Do you remember where you were when ________ happened?” stories, I can say “No, but I can tell you what I was wearing, how I was standing, and exactly how many ceiling tiles were over my head the first time I tried Brach’s Brunch Favorites Candy Corn.” That should derail the conversation pretty quick.

Brew Berry

That shouldn’t be a problem with these, because they taste almost nothing like M&Ms at all. When I took the first handful, my main criteria for evaluation was that previous M&M Halloween flavors have been largely underwhelming, so if they tasted anything like butterscotch I’d consider them a success. And they do and I did.

But after the second handful, the waxy aftertaste and mouthfeel put me in mind of things that smell good but you’re not supposed to eat, like tealight candles and scented soaps. I put the bag down after that and only picked it up again to throw it out. Butterscotch M&Ms just aren’t my thing.

Brew Berry

When you look at all the kitchen and craft magazines in the checkout aisles boasting the best recipes for seasonal treats, it seems obvious that any truly epic and mindblowing holiday food is going to be homemade. But a lot of us here, myself included, get way more excited about prepackaged brand name stuff that’s often just the same old thing only with bats (or Santa, bunnies, leprechauns, etc) added to the package art. Is it because you can make whatever you want at home any time you like, but the appearance of seasonal foods are entirely subject to the whims of the Elder Snack Gods? Or is it just really cool to see the holiday stuff move in and take over the shelves, and there’s such a strong urge to support that happening every year, we buy junk food we wouldn’t normally want just to keep it coming? Or maybe there’s another reason? Genuinely curious here. Also about to go buy some Brunch Favorites Candy Corn because someone has to, dammit.

Brew Berry

Yeah, but it does make a certain kind of sense. Ghostbusters phantoms like Slimer clearly love their sugar fix, but ghouls are so obsessed with weight loss they often trim their waistlines by letting most of their internal organs shrivel up and fall out. And as the great philosopher Garfield famously said, you can’t spell “diet” without “die”, so potentially carcinogenic sugar substitutes sound like perfect ghoul food ingredients.

1) The big brand Halloween candy is how each season gets “marked.” When I think of, say, Halloween 2014, the first thing I think of is Fruity Yummy Mummy. Last year, that damn Whopper. So it’s kind of like taking part in an event.

2) There is camaraderie in the shared experiences. Yes I can make much more interesting stuff at home with a bit of effort (and the effort is FUN, too), but there isn’t that abstract sense of camaraderie. Kinda works on the same principle of watching a movie on TV when you already own the DVD.

3) It’s fun to see how existing brands manage to “get spooky” — there really is an art to it, and some companies have pulled it off better than others. When we’re looking at this stuff, we can see which ones are really clicking and which ones are just sort of there. (And we reward the ones that click with attention and money!)

4) We can’t buy costumes every day, and we can watch horror movies all year. The candy/food stuff is really that one thing that constantly refuels throughout the season, and it’s that one thing that can let us have fresh tastes (figuratively) of Halloween whenever we need them.

I tried the Brunch Favorites! The strawberry waffles were the best, chocolate chip pancakes were overpoweringly cocoa-y, and the french toast was adequate but still highly edible. As the kids say, “I got you, fam.”

Brew Berry

All excellent points, especially about the community aspect of it. A lot of formerly shared cultural moments are completely gone now thanks to our on-demand media options, and not everyone can get in on the same local events and traditions, so it is pretty great that there’s still a few milestones we can all join in at the same time. And when that milestone is a quest for Spookylicious Pop Tarts, that’s all the better.

Brew Berry

Is it wrong that I was hoping there’d be at least one “Oh God WTF were they thinking???” flavor? I think these weird flavor mixes are always a lot more fun when there’s a Russian Roulette aspect to them.

MandieBea

I got standard size bags of the Cauldron Skittles from Walgreens.

Jadeb

Found caramel apple Hostess cupcakes yesterday. Good, but, like so many of these seasonal treats, not as good as the food it’s impersonating. (And not as good as the pumpkin spice Hostess cupcakes.)

Vincent Lorre

Can I take a minute to applaud the majesty that is Little Debbie? While the world seems to have gone pumpkin spice crazy the past few years, Little Debbie has been producing Pumpkin Delights every season for DECADES now, well ahead of the “trend.” If I’m to be honest, I will even say these are still the best pumpkin treat on the market, and I don’t think (at least to me) they’ll ever be usurped. I genuinely look forward to these every year, and just when I thought I was absolutely over and done with pumpkin-spice-whatever, I saw the Pumpkin Delights on the store shelf again. You’re damn right I still bought a box, and an extra one to freeze for later, and I will next year, and every year hence that I am able. Other seasonal items will come and go, and the fun of finding new creations from junk food companies has already been veering towards the coffin, but my love and appreciation for Little Debbie Pumpkin Delights is eternal. Overly sentimental and dramatic? NO! You heartless wampyr, you. Respect the Debbie!

Vincent Lorre

I found the Brunch favorites vile. Forget the attempt at three different flavors. To me, they all tasted like syrup that’s been sitting for the past fifteen years in a diner that you know is really a meth lab, never being used for its purpose, but rather just a container for roaches to breed in. I hate that I bought these. I do. I feel like I need a Silkwood shower for having had these in my mouth. But I have to admit I appreciate that something finally came out to make me want to seriously be done with what food companies are doing now. No more onslaught! I refuse!

Vincent Lorre

Please reconsider the Brunch Favorites purchase. See my reply above. Save yourself, unknown friend! Though I suppose, like taste in music, food likings are also subjective and vary wildly for everyone. Fare the well, all the same, on your sugary journey.

Brew Berry

No, this is good news! That’s just what I expected and sadomasochistically kind of want!

I may have deeper problems that need to be looked into someday. But not today! Today I’ll be too busy buying Brunch Favorites and writing down the details in a special journal I’ll also need to buy just to commemorate every last little bit of pointless minutae about the event! It’ll be like my own little analog blog, except super pointless because no one else will get to read it. #ihavepoorlifegoals

Deb Wilson

I’ve been seriously dedicating myself to losing weight since mid-June, but I cheat a little for a bag of Paws.

Eric Bellavance

My biggest question is do the new Cheetos crumble all over you like the White Cheddar ones did? I always looked like a Head and Shoulders commercial gone wrong after only one handful no matter how careful I was.

Deb Wilson

I saw the Flamin’ Hot Bag of Bones Cheetos at my local store right next to the white cheddar ones last week. I figured they were new. I’ll stick to white cheddar. I’ve never had Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, but they sound like a bad case of diarrhea waiting to happen.
I like hard butterscotch candies, but I am not sure if I’d go for butterscotch M&Ms.
Kit Kat Darkness sounds awesome! I love dark chocolate, and you’re totally right about the name.
It’s a pity they changed the flavor of the Ghoul-aid Jammers. I loved the original flavor. I wonder if the calorie-reducing change is also a response to concerns about excess sugar in kid’s drinks/snacks/cereals? Maybe the berry flavor was the best they could do with less sugar.

Modok

The Brunch Favorites are kind of underwhelming. The french toast ones sufficiently taste like maple, but the other two are letdowns. The strawberry waffles just taste like strawberry, while the chocolate chip pancake ones just taste like weak chocolate. There’s no real pastry/bready taste to any of them, which makes me wonder why they called them french toast, waffles and pancakes. I guess they were banking on the power of suggestion.

I feel like Brachs came up with the maple flavor, but didn’t want to release it on its own, so they threw in two existing flavors and gave them similar sounding names to unify the theme. They’re not bad if you just want a sweet treat, but they don’t live up to the billing.

Modok

Mars should be ashamed of the Cauldron Skittles! That may be the worst Halloween packaging I’ve seen in a long time. I first saw these a few weeks ago next to some other Halloween candy and didn’t even know why they were there at first. It took a close look to reveal that it’s a Halloween edition. The cauldron is so subtle and minimal that it looks like a regular design element. And the bright orange bag and rainbow make it look like “Summer Skittles” or something.

Put it in a black bag. Throw in some bats or a full moon. Anything! Let’s face it…we know what’s going on here. Mars wanted a share of that sweet, sweet Halloween money, but was too chicken to actually dive into it, so they did this half-ass version instead.

I don’t think any candy company has ever been chicken to dive into Halloween. It’d be like a turkey company not embracing Thanksgiving. And Mars has certainly shown willing on other products, such as the M&Ms. No… I think what happened here was just a good old-fashioned failure. When I look at the Cauldron Skittles, I don’t see a half-assed attempt… I see a full-assed attempt by someone whose reach exceeded their grasp. You’ve got the cauldron at the bottom, bubbling up strange witch’s brew with bubbles that are (almost) turning into Skittles. You’ve got the rainbow upside down, suggesting weirdness and wrongness. You’ve got an orange bag, for Halloween orange. It just doesn’t come together. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if this was designed by somebody who was relatively new to graphic design — the ideas are there, it’s the execution that’s falling short.

After reading your take I can’t fully disagree, and admit that if they went all-in on the design, it’d be a bigger deal. But I do like the subtlety! (And I really love that they’re called Cauldron, which makes so little sense that I’m contractually obligated to love it.)

LD rules, no doubt. Sadly I’ve already covered my favorites from “her” in prior Countdowns, so she doesn’t get as much play here, lately. But I still think those little diamond-shaped pumpkin brownies are as perfect a Halloween treat as there can be.

I’m all about the Bat shaped brownies she also delivers. To the point that I will ONLY buy the bat ones. Knowing full well that it’s the same product, just in a different mold. Funny how people have preferences. 🙂

I know that feeling…I still have a box from last year…debating with myself if it’s safe enough to drink…I mean…it can’t go that bad in a year….can it? lol…

dwite fry

dude, thank you. I was hoping you’d get one of these out before I went on holiday (to America) i genuinely use these posts as my guide to importing halloween-y candy so I wanted at least one to help me know what I can buy in actual physical stores. Cheers! A Point, does any Floridian readers know if Ecto Cooler’s still knocking around where you are?

ludovicotek1

I live in South Florida and the only time I ever saw Ecto Cooler was at a Cinemark theatre. They still have them available by the can.

Brew Berry

Outside of New York and Jersey, it’s mostly only available through online ordering from Walmart, HEB and Amazon. I couldn’t track down a single juice box anywhere I went.

Vincent Lorre

I’m a grown a$s man, but the Kit-Kat cat mascot gives me such school girl delight, I’m rethinking everything I knew about myself. Each bag/version has the cat in a different get up, too! It’s utterly adorable and amazing. I want each version of the cat tattooed on my legs. And Matt, you are right. Simply naming a product DARKNESS is something we should all take glee in.

Modok

I view it as the opposite. Even a child could design Halloween packaging. There are too many strange choices here for it not to have been intentional.

They’re “cauldron” Skilttles, yet the cauldron’s barely on the package at all. There’s nothing beyond the lip, so it just looks more like a ring or hole in the ground. There are no other Halloween graphics, apart from the “cauldron” font.

Then there’s the name. Not “witches’ brew” Skittles or something like that, but the far less controversial “cauldron” Skittles.

And while the package is orange, it is not anything resembling a Halloween orange. It’s a bright mango. If there were “summer tropical” Skittles, this would be the bag’s color. And the rainbow isn’t even upside-down–that’s the way it normally is.

The backstory I imagine is that there’s a Skittles brand manager who abhors Mars’ Halloween re-packaging. They’re the kind of person who believes Harry Potter is devil worship. This manager has had a mandate foisted upon them to get in the Halloween game, but they refuse to go along quietly. They’ll only permit the absolute bare minimum because no one is going to Satan up their beloved Skittles brand.

Tyler Ham

My favorite Halloween candy was those little Skeleton candies that came in a plastic coffin – Called “My bones” or something – They made a skeleton, kind of a puzzle. I dont think they make them anymore.

Vincent Lorre

Sweet Tarts has their own Halloween version of that. Sweet Tarts, shaped like skulls and bones! Saw them in Target just today. It’s not the same as Mr. Bones, no, (I, too remember those fondly) but maybe a decent placeholder.

Jobee818

It would be nice just to know that if i wanted some all i had to was go to the store and there they would be

Vincent Lorre

Or if they really went all in and used the tagline “Let IT consume YOU!” I would fill a fallout bunker with Darkness Kit Kats if the bag said that.

I want a revival of Mr. Bones even more than monster cereals or Madballs.

Whalley Range

The juice boxes are still fully stocked in Cub supermarkets. Not sure if Cub is in Florida, though.

Sarah

Just hit up Target and they only had the white cheddar bones. Such disappointment.

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

there’s one walking distance from me, and it’s 24 hours, guess I’m going back out in the wee hours of the night tonight… (it’s right across the street from the Rite Aid I went to last night, WHY DIDN’T I GO THEN?)

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. You’d think they would have maybe rolled them back out since they brought back all those retro flavors this past year.

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

sir, the large bags ARE the standard here, pal!

Teddy Ray

I beg to differ. You’re crushing the whole adult thing.

Teddy Ray

That was beautiful. I have been moved to tears.

Teddy Ray

Oh, did they do the Pecan Pie M&Ms last year? I bought a bag a couple of weeks ago and I was really disappointed in them.

I have a bag of the brunch flavored candy corn, but I haven’t tried it yet. They sound good to me, I hope I’m not disappointed.

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

co-sign

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

I saw him on a bag of candy last night and had that exact same thought.

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

Agreed on all counts, and come on, who doesn’t take gleeful Halloweeny joy in eating Skittles that were obviously made in a giant cauldron instead of some boring candy factory?

Teddy Ray

I haven’t noticed any crumbling.

Teddy Ray

I went to Walmart and Target on Wednesday and I picked up the Cheetos (which are awesome), the butterscotch M&Ms, and the Cauldron Skittles (I haven’t tried the last two yet). I also got the caramel apple cupcakes, caramel apple Twizzlers, a bag of Haribo Gummi Ghoulies (I think that was the name…I ate them last night and the bag is in the trash), Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups Skulls, a bag of Brunch Favorites candy corn, and a box of Halloween Junior Mints. I haven’t eaten the Junior Mints yet, but according to the box, they taste the same as regular Junior Mints, but the centers are black and orange. Spooky!

After reading this, I’m going to have to go pick up a bag of THE DARKNESS. I think I’m going to skip the “Diet Ghoul-Aid,” though. Also, I noticed one of those big bags of Willy Wonka candies for trick or treaters…you know, with the Laffy Taffy, the Sweet Tarts, the Nerds, and the…Bottle Caps, I think? Anyway, I noticed that the Laffy Taffy in said bags were flavors I’ve never seen before: “pumpkin donut” and “apple crisp.” Those flavors were only in the big bags, with like 185 pieces of candy or something like that, which cost around ten bucks, so I didn’t get it…but I’m definitely going to pick up a bag the next time I’m out.

EDIT: I just did a quick Google search for those Laffy Taffies and it appears that they sell a bag of just those flavors, called “Fall Favorites.” I didn’t dig too deep, but I did see that they were found at Dollar General…not sure about anywhere else.

Vincent Lorre

Target has them in great quantity. Assuming every Target nation wide gets the same kind of stock, you shouldn’t have any issue.

AdamX

I got one today, I liked it it but still doesn’t beat a bag/box of Pieces on their own.

dwite fry

thanks, all

J Smith

Try Walmart that’s where I got mine they where in front of the store

M.Oleman

My goal this year is to buy one of everything Halloween food related and group them all together for a photo shoot to add to my seasonal slideshow. “No Hostess Glo Balls, you can’t sit next to Herr’s Wings and Webs. Key Lime Slime Twinkies, stop with the bunny ears! Is Cheetohs Bag O Bones in the bathroom again?” I will photograph them then I will eat them all.

Butterscotch and dark chocolate could be wiped from the face of the Earth and our collective memories and we’d all be the better for it. I’d be the only one who remembered, and I would be happy they were gone.

You’re Driving Me Crazy

How were the butterscotch M&Ms disappointing? Weird taste? Not enough flavor? Too much like those hard candies? I was so excited to try them!

BatmanJesus

Ghoulish Games was my favorite Jewel Halloween jam.

Surfer Sandman

I want those Darkness Kit-Kats. I love Kit-Kat variations, which there aren’t enough of. I want a mint Kit-Kat.

Michael Underlin

I’m so glad I saved back a couple Scary Blackberry Ghoul-Aids from previous years.

I liked them, but it was like…you got hit by butterscotch at first, then like five seconds after you were done eating it you got slapped by white chocolate. I like white chocolate, I just think it was executed really strangely!

Chris Striegel/@ChrisIsHCFest

pumpkin donut and apple crisp Laffy Taffy? That sounds almost as absurd as those Brunch Favorites candy corn.

I barely even *like* Cheetos and a full-size Bag O’ Bones (original, haven’t seen Flamin’ Hot here yet) didn’t even last an hour around me. Even at 37, I just can’t resist being actively encouraged to play with my food. Yeah, I’m going to be the really annoying senior in the home flicking peas at people then looking around like “Who what done and did that?”

You say absurd, I say wondermous. 🙂 Also, I’m actually really digging the Brunch Favorites candy corn. I have the bag in a drawer and everything in that drawer smells like maple syrup now, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Just coming back to say that I’ve since gotten Cauldron Skittles and they’re GREAT.

Derek

I’m in Central Florida and I saw it at Publix just once. I’ve been getting it from Amazon.

Derek

I feel feel like the S’mores ones were the same? Different M&Ms are different flavors?

Derek

The Flamin Hot Cheetos was the only way these could have improved and they did – it was something I didn’t even know I wanted. They were giving out the Cauldron Skittles (and Halloween Star Burst -which has cute Halloween packaging) at Mickey’s Not-so-Scary Halloween Party at Disney so I got those. The Kit Kats are amazing lol
I wish Ghoul Aid was a whole sub line to itself and had several different themed flavors. But yeah, they’re definitely marketing it as a healthy alternative.

Yumi Fujiwara

You went to Disney? Cool! Which one did you go to, Disneyland or Disney World? And did you have fun?