It has been less than 24 hours since I first saw Sports Illustrated’s Jimmy Traina Tweet the infamous video of the disappointed Twilight fan, but it has already gone from 301 to 229,609 views. That’s how you do viral, people. It either takes a person crazy enough to be that insane over an actress cheating on her actor boyfriend or someone brilliant enough to fake it. Either way, the Internet went bananas yesterday over the revelation that Kristen Stewart had cheated on Robert Pattinson with her Snow White and the Hunstman director, Rupert Sanders.

Plenty of Twilight fans are outraged that the kingdom of PattiStew could ever be corrupted, but most of them just can’t believe that Bella could cheat on Edward with a muggle. Wait, am I getting these terms right? Whatever. So despite the revelation by US Weekly and People, and the fact that Stewart and Sanders both issued apologies through their PR teams, the majority of Twihards or Twihearts believe that this is a massive conspiracy. (UPDATE: Pack his bags, he’s outta here, K-Stew don’t love him and K-Stew don’t care.)

As for the conspiracy, it’s mostly Ted Casablanca’s fault. Casablanca, a former E! Online “reporter” and current managing editor of The Wrap, Tweeted that this entire ordeal was staged. It was all downhill from there.

I’m just glad someone is willing to point out the inherent insanity of this stupid non-story becoming not only a worldwide conspiracy theory, but the birth of a truther movement! TRUTHERS! For KriRobPatStewensonert!

Pretty much all of my knowledge about this came from Burnsy’s Twitter rampage last night, but she released a statement apologizing for the affair, right? I mean I know these “fans” are insane, but why go through all this trouble when she openly admitted it?

I sensed something was wrong when my two cats, Bella and Edward, snarled at each other last night as we were all watching “Jeopardy” together. I hope this doesn’t upset Renesmee, their lovely kitty-baby. She’s SO sensitive!

Right at the very moment where she says K-Stew apologized (0:28), my dog and I released loud, perfectly synchronized farts. That’s never happened before, and I do not believe in coincidence, at least not when it comes to matters of cross-species flatulence.