Tucker Carlson called smoking a “masculine” activity that represents freedom, while Clayton Morris expressed outrage that female superheroes have too many clothes on.

The hissy fit began when Carlson and Morris discovered leaked images of the new Popeye without his tattoo or pipe. The duo claimed that without his pipe or tattoo, Popeye is now a wuss with Carlson actually going so far as to say that smoking is a manly activity.

Then the pair complained that female superheroes aren’t sexually exploited enough in films and comics, despite the fact that children are a large part of the audience for both platforms. Then host Clayton Morris revealed his inner-creep when he said he wants to see the new Wonder Woman wear short shorts and a halter top in the Batman Vs Superman movie. According to him, all women who have great bodies should “flaunt” them on film.

CARLSON: This is a sad story.

MORRIS: This is a very sad story. Get out your tissues this morning… According to leaked photos, the new Sony Pictures version of Popeye will look like this: Without the iconic anchor tattoo and the smoking pipe! Are they wussifying Popeye?

CARLSON: Of course, they’re wussifying. Nothing is scarier to a modern liberal than tobacco. If Popeye were driving around giving the morning after [birth control] pill to fourth graders, that would be totally fine. But smoking a pipe, a symbol of freedom and masculinity in America itself, the reason this country exists, tobacco, that’s like, ‘Oh, that’s outrageous. That’s a major sin.’

KOOIMAN: The thing with Popeye is that Popeye was designed for one reason because it had a nice message for children… Popeye taught you to eat your spinach… And if you smoke, you might get lung cancer.

CARLSON: No child has ever smoked a pipe because of Popeye.

MORRIS: I watched Popeye as a child and I never felt the need to smoke a corncob pipe.

CARLSON: Well, I did, because of Popeye.

Of course, the images Carlson and Morris whined about were from test footage that won’t even be used in the film. Once again, the “fair and balanced” button on Fox must be out of order.

Then the pair complained that female superheroes aren’t sexually exploited enough in films and comics, despite the fact that children are a large part of the audience for both platforms. Host Clayton Morris revealed his inner-creep when he said he wants to see the new Wonder Woman wear short shorts and a halter top in the Batman Vs Superman movie. According to him, all women who have great bodies should “flaunt” them on film.

CARLSON: If you think that’s bewildering, take a look at this. This is Thor. Now you may notice something a little different. Popeye lost something, Thor has added something, a couple of them. That’s the new bustier Thor because Thor is now a chick.

After some brief whining about gender equality, Morris changed the topic to Wonder Woman.

MORRIS: Look what we’ve done to Wonder Woman over the years. I want the iconic primary colors of Wonder Woman…but they’ve shoved her into that Batman Vs. Superman movie and given her these dark tone colors. And in the comic book, they’ve taken her from that beautiful, you know the short shorts, and they’ve stuck her in a pantsuit like she’s on her way to an accountant’s office.

KOOIMAN: Some people would say that this is an important thing that we’re not sexualizing these women so much. It’s the same for men. I mean, we make sure they have perfect figures, actually larger-than-life better.

It’s good point to make. After all, not only do children watch these movies, women want to be taken seriously in these roles. They don’t just want to be eye candy for a bunch of drooling Neanderthals like Carlson and Morris. Covering up is not only practical, it forces the audience to focus on the acting instead of how much skin is showing.

Carlson then compared women covering up in superhero comics and films to Sharia law, even though many conservative “Christians” believe women should cover up because it will somehow help them avoid being raped.

CARLSON: That’s a good Islamic point. We should cover them. We should cover the women because, otherwise, it just incites the men. It’s immodest as we say in the Sharia.

MORRIS: I want to see Wonder Woman in the original short-shorts, and the halter top.

KOOIMAN: I think she looks great. I actually like that outfit better.

MORRIS: If you’ve got the body, flaunt it. That’s what I always say.

Here’s the video, via Raw Story:

Of all the things in the world that Fox News could whine about, they chose to complain about Popeye not smoking or having a tattoo in some test footage that won’t appear in the final film and they bitched about women not being naked enough in comic book movies. And while the men around her were acting like perverts, Kooiman had to just sit there and take it. How she’s able to sit between these guys and listen to their sexism is what’s truly bewildering on this show. Not every movie has to feature breasts and asses on full display. If that’s what Carlson and Morris want, they should go home, select a porno from their secret collection and go watch it in their man caves. Meanwhile, the rest of us will enjoy watching female actresses kick butt without focusing our attention on their butts.