On today’s post I want to share the challenge I face as a parent on a daily basis as it concerns digital media/new technology/television.

Growing up we didn’t all have access to it or only had ‘restricted’ access. In my case when school started we weren’t allowed to watch TV so we could concentrate. Yeah, my folks were hard-core like that. We didn’t have much choice in terms of what to watch, it was either “Voltron”, “Sesame Street” or “She-Ra” on television or music videos on Betamax or VHS cassette. Wow, my age don dey show o!

Nowadays my daughters are spoilt for choice as to what to watch on TV with so many different cartoon channels and YouTube on my phone or iPad. I have nothing against mankind’s advancement in technology considering it has made life a lot easier in many ways and saved lives especially in medicine, etc., but as a new parent it’s something we all need to be mindful of.

My 1st born is already a whiz on my phone and IPad and I usually let her watch her favourite shows like “Sofia the 1st”, “Frozen”, “Peppa-Pig”, etc and I did not worry about it too much because most times I have to help her type what she wants to watch so that way I can monitor what she’s doing. Right? Well, sort of. It turns out that there are so many suggestions that pop up based on previous history that can lure kids to get into some adult stuff with parodies of these shows such as “Barbie life in the Dream House”- let me just say it was borderline porn! I was shocked but of course I had to play it cool and just changed it to something more wholesome! Phew!

From then on I always ensure to extra double check what she’s up to. It is not as if she’s deliberately searching for naughty stuff because she’s only 3 years old, but if it’s dangled in front of her like a lollipop, then I can’t blame her for her curiosity but it will not be curiosity killing my little kitty if I can help it! That was my first shocker so I brought my husband’s attention together we became more vigilant.

Another issue is with music videos and shows. As we all know, we live in a highly sexualized world where sex sells just about everything and I find myself worrying about the impact that has on the children we are raising today. In my household we are huge lovers of music of all genres, be it our very own Naija pop, hip-hop, or R&B. And one of my favourite things to do is to dance with my daughters. In the past, I would leave the TV on and watch TraceTV or SoundCity and let it keep showing, now I have to be extra vigilant with all the nudity and shaking of bum-bums. This is coupled with the fact that I have two baby girls and I can’t particularly say I’m happy with the way certain women allow themselves to be portrayed. However that is an entirely different topic for another day.

But back to the matter at hand, I find I have to reduce watching those shows or leave it to when they’re asleep or play the audio version only, or just switch to another channel entirely. When the video that comes up is too risqué and that always causes troubles with my feisty 3 year old.

We really have to contend with a lot these days and I want to encourage us as Mums to be more vigilant with our kids so they don’t grow up too fast and start dealing with things they don’t understand. Till next time.

Apt! Well written and so true. It’s very difficult raising kids these days. The worst part is that they meet all sorts of people in school and discuss all sorts. I can only do my best and leave the rest to God who is their no 1 protector!

Dakore bless you. I just give up on the state of afairs when it comes to nudity. My husband has put an app on our 11year old’s phone and kindle that reports to our phone what she is doing per min per second. I like the shock on her face each time we ask her to explain her downloads. Thankfully we have nothing to worry about but you just never know. All I do is instill the fear of God in her as my mum did. The truth is that role models are now really hard to find particularly on TV. When I say I don’t like watching Beyonce,Tiwa and Co people think I am old fashioned but when you have a daughter, you think twice. It is well.

Really: Most Nigerian movies end up telling you being bad will make you end up bad, so how does portraying a character in a movie make her a contributor to the problem? Anyways I have always bothered about this because their is fun house beside my house where they mostly throw kids parties&they play songs like wizzy’ s Caro, timaaya’ ukwu’ tiwa’s eminado, shoki&the likes. I’m not a spiricoco xtiain into your face, I compose songs&notesbut I don’t listen to these songs, &i don’t av anything against then.if I tune to soundcity&hiptv im always pissed bcs of the videos so I worry so much about the growing kids. Well I think just instill the fear of GOD to ur kids, don’t resist their potential but pray to GOD to always make them sane within any manesss.

I think some of you are missing the point by criticizing some of her past roles. I don’t think she is condemning the existence of these things but rather how readily available they are. Ratings for movies and music videos are much more lenient than they used to be, we can all remember certain movies/shows/videos only being shown on tv after 9 or 10pm but these days, at 10 in the morning ass is everywhere. That’s what needs to be addressed, ratings and time restrictions.

Idgad that I may be the only parent in the world who restricts kids access to devices for only educational purposes. There is just so much perverted info out there even without the click of a button. TV time is 1:30 mins weekdays but despite restricting tv shows to G rated only I still sit to watch these shows with my kids whilst working on my laptop, cooking, reading whatever. I make sure all family members are inthe same living room until bedtime, if one child is not there for 10 mins I’m like hey (insert kids name) are you alright? if the answer is not ‘I’m inthe toilet’ then I’m there face to face in a non threatening way. The poor kids don’t even know I’m being paranoid, they just think it’s all because I love and care for them. Thank God they’ve never given me a reason to mistrust them but the devil is relentless and being purposely ignorant is not an excuse.

Kids are very smart you know. I hope “I’m in the toilet” will not someday become a perfect alibi to get into something they won’t want mummy to know about. They could easily get to realise that being in the toilet grants them privacy from mummy’s prying eyes! So watch that , especially as they grow older. All the best in mothering efforts!

How do you even explain a gay world to these children. My husband says they have to know and you have to tell them gay people are bad people like the thieves. Even some cartoons now have the subtle homosexual messages. I cannot for the life of me understand how the women wear almost nothing in the videos but the men are properly dressed. And the message nko, razz, classless and brainless.

Eaxatly! @ Sum. Wizkid is singing well dressed with an inner teeshirt and a jacket, boxers and pants but ladies that are old enough to be his mother are wearing next to nothing and shaking their injected bums. At the end of the day Wizkid takes the lion share and hands them peanuts. If girls at 28(same ppl who watched voltron and sesame street) are the ones going nake nowadays then i wonder what the children of these days will turn into.

there’s a saying that goes like this, people are born gay but homophobia is a learnt behaviour, just like racism no white person is born a racist they learn it from their parents or environment just like homophobia.

ur kids are going to learn how to be homophobic from u and ur foolish husband, then they go to school and bully another person kid who is gay and that gay kid commits suicide, are u and ur husband not murderers.

So you tell your kids gay people are like thieves? And that’s parenting? What if they join a mob action to stone a gay person based on what you’re teaching them? By all means be watchful, but don’t raise ignorant and intolerant kids. If you don’t tell them the truth, others will

Bless you dear Dakore, Motherhood is incredible cos it changes ones for either good or bad but most times good. totally agreed with you on this topic. my husband has already called my attention on trace urban cos the likes of miley, Nicky ,beyounce etc with bum bum everywhere is scary. I have twins girls and one love music so much that we noticed really on time, she dance and sing b4 a year and still do so. on hearing Beyounce ” my hands are up”she would run from any part of the apartment to dance along with her hands up and shes less than 2years, she can na na la la and shake bum bum too. to some point its funnny but im concerned, but after reading this pieces i will putmore eye on their tv activities, Sophia the first, micky mouse club house, Dora and frozen for now. thank God for free acces to internet which made it possible for us to download ABC , numbers, colors, shapes,and all kinds of songs for them, we stored them on disk and would play on tv for them. the truth is no matter how you like enjoying life its better you show your kids d right way and let them chose the life they want at 18 and not exposing them to things they dont understand as She stated on her last paragraph. kids are like flower or yam plant which needs mans guidance to grow or go, that kids dont like book or not intelligent could be fixed, i ve seen parents who made it possible . so the choice is ours . parenting is not an easyjob, once you make up your mind to marry be ready for a huge task to avoid raising a child that will bring shame to you or goes out there to destroy kids from good home. God bless all mothers

ofcourse some useless 21st century mothers will allow their kids as young as 6 watch the likes of demonic Witches like Rihanna, Nicki Minaj and Lady Gaga . I feel sorry for them including the very useless moms who allow their kids under 18 to have facebook accounts

Useless parents i call em always trying to emulate what the west do cos they think its cute

Thank you Dakore for being a vigilant christian woman – the devil is out to get our kids come what may and they start with cartoons, – watch the words that come out of some of these cartoon mouths. The demonic nollywood have an agenda. So stay vigilant.

I understand your frustration but I’m a bit concerned about how easily you can spew insults. Hope you don’t do this in front of your kids oh so they don’t hv corrosive tongues. Know a kid with an acidic tongue can do as much damage to other kids too like hurting their tender self esteem.

there’s a saying that goes like this, people are born gay but homophobia is a learnt behaviour, just like racism no white person is born a racist they learn it from their parents or environment just like homophobia.

ur kids are going to learn how to be homophobic from u and ur foolish husband, then they go to school and bully another person kid who is gay and that gay kid commits suicide, are u and ur husband not murderers.

Let me infuse some argument. Have you guys ever read the argument for and against Frozen? My kids watch it oh, I am not knocking it but being in the know helps. Walt Disney has an agenda, they are laying it on slowly but surely. That is why we have to be open to our kids, homosexuality exists, there are blended family’s everywhere – this is the truth. Can you re-watch the part of Anna and Kritoff getting to the inn. The inn keeper is gay at least that is the quick silent message. He hails at his family in the steam room. Look again it is another man and kids. After reading the articles online I watched it several times without the kids so as not to arouse their curiosity. Also Elsa’s ending is not the typical happy ever ending -you gerrit? The predominant colours are blue, you gerrit? These are all subtle changes. I am Christian and I have trained my kids not to hate but to accept. They have classmates with 2 mum’s or dad’s, this is the new world! God bless us all!

I am a techie savy mum and very strict on media access. My 6yr rules are as follows- laptop with parental access. Icons of child friendly apps requiring no need for going online 2. No tv monday- fri. I am at work so can’t trust nanny to supervise properly. Only weekend. 3. No tv in her room until 18 4. No access to rubbish naija songs, videos etc. nursery rymes cds in cars, house only 5. Nanny only allowed to watch tv whilst daughter is at school 6. Parents don’t watch anything non child friendly when child is home. I watch soaps and series after 8pm when 6yr is in bed 7. No phones. She knows her address, names of parents and where we work. She can tell an adult or police if anything happens.

But Dakore, I am a little confused. I watch Barbie life in the dream house with my children and it is very child friendly. Am I missing something? Which “Barbie life in the dream house” are you watching? My people please go online and review this show it is light hearted fun for kids. This write up is good and does state the problem but I just don’t get the example used. Maybe someone can explain, yes?

How about taking away all those phones, ipads and TV and get your kids involved in other activities. They can do all sorts of physical arts, play, read books, story time, cultural learning, building things and making crafts?

Take away the tech, kids don’t really need to be watching all that media… ‘supervised, ‘app installed’ or not.

Thanks to Dakore for bringing up a very important issue that we parents are facing and would continue to struggle with. Internet users (DEVIL inshort) are devising ways to lure our kids into sex and pornography that even a very diligent parent can be tricked. So here are few strategies I would suggest 1) For the e-babysitter uses like me, If you have kids less than 6 years, please restrict your kids from using any other apps than ‘Youtube Kids’ or purely educational apps. It’s free and it has all the kids’ related programs from straight from youtube without the harmful suggestions, and its 100% kids friendly. This would help you avoid putting your kids at risks…I once clicked on a program for my child to watch on regular youtube, three minutes into the video, I heard a sexual breathing sound and when I ran to check, here was a picture of someone with open legs. My heart almost stopped.

2) My kids do not have their own ipad or iphone. I tell them its mine (same as their toys :)). That way they don’t have any sense of entitlement to watch anything or add any app. It’s a privilege, you earn it and you loose it. Period. This might change when they get older and more responsible. Its all password coded that if they need to watch anything its unlocked by myself or my hubby. Same as my app store, you cannot download any apps without password. So it all goes through me and I get an email too.

3) No social networking until you are 12 (that would be monitored also till you earn your respect). NO NO NO.. Let your kids learn to socialize in person, it would help them. You might be the evil parent now but they would thank you later. Learning to hold and have a conversation with an adult, learning to occupy themselves internet free, and learning other skills are very important. ..i touched a computer at 16years and now I can say that I am good with my computer/social networking, playing games etc. They are not missing out on anything.

4) Please be aware of hidden apps that can be disguised as calculator, or self distructive apps (that destroy message, photos etc sent by your kids after a certain amount of time). There are so many of them out there and just like viruses, the app developer are ahead of their games in making lives of parents a living hell. A good example I read online is Smart Hide Calculator (Android, free) and Secret Calculator (iPhone, free) that appear as calculators on the icon and when you (a novice parent) open them, Hide it Pro (Android, free) is a functioning audio manager that can be used to turn volumes up and down. However, your teenage would have to perform a combination of tasks in order to access the content, for example, pressing and holding a specific button and entering the password. (SCARY SCARY!!!)

6) Finally but the most important, pray constantly for your kids. The enemy is out to get them, you cant cage them in your house, they go to school, church, see cousins, friends, parties…all these places are traps. Pray pray pray for them…

Just to add to what everyone else is saying 1. Please monitor the people your kids associate with. I am saying this because growing up most of the stuff I learnt about sex were from friends and listening to the conversations of my nannies and their friends. 2. Please have the birds and bees talk asap, if you don’t someone else will give your kids lessons you may not approve of. 3. Be friends with your kids so they can openly discuss issues with you. Don’t be the type of parent that your kids would be afraid to talk to. 4. You are the chief role model for your kids so act accordingly. Don’t be the ‘do as I say and not as I do’ kind of mum or dad.

My 3 year old has become smarter than his age, I now password my phones and ipad because my son has very fast fingers and very intelligent, a lot of the things I know about my phone, i learned from watching him use it. but unknown to me and beyond my widest imagination, he was watching me type in my ipad password and the next day i saw him watching talking tom on it, I asked him whop unlocked the ipad for him and he goes mummy I know your password, its —- and I almost passed out. I magine if i had horrible pictures and videos in my ipad, the other day i was telling my hubby we need to apply age restrictions to the dstv cos he knows how to flip through channels and was even telling his dad to check box office for movies. God help us in this era of technology.