Friday, June 19, 2015

June Makes Me Think of Cancer

Sweet Miss Bekah

June makes me think of cancer. I don’t forget cancer for the rest of the year, but particularly in June it sneaks in to occupy my quiet moments and brings it all back to the forefront. It’s a good thing. I remember how lucky I am, how differently things could have gone, and how beautiful and perfect my life is, even if at times it seems otherwise. Perspective. Gratitude. Gravity. These are the gains. There were great costs and significant losses, but none of it can be undone, and we must learn to love what we have and appreciate its value. I am well on my way to reaching that goal. The old wounds still sting a bit, but I am blessed to have many years to let them continue to heal and for the scars to fade and melt into memory.

This year, the day before the seventh anniversary of the stem cell transplant that saved my life, marked the first anniversary of the loss of a very dear cancer sister, Bekah Furey. She was a bright and brilliant young woman, gifted with boundless wisdom and a truly lovely soul. If there are words to accurately describe her beauty and grace, I don’t pretend to know them.

She is missed beyond measure. She is loved beyond measure.

Cancer has touched the lives recently of people I care about. While this month I celebrate living with cancer in the rear view, many are dealing with it head on, and most of us will, in one way or another. According to the National Cancer Institute, 39.6% of us will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in our lives (http://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/what-is-cancer/statistics).

I sincerely hope that you aren’t included in that nearly 40% of us, but if it isn’t you, it’ll be someone you know and love...and in either case, what do you do? You do everything you can do.

If it’s you, you do everything the doctors tell you. Everything your body tells you. Everything your heart tells you. You do it all. You are stronger than you know.

If it’s someone you love you make sure they have everything they need to do all of that. AND, you tell them...in person, in writing, in an email, in a hand-written (gasp!) note, in any way you can and as often as you can, that you love them, that you’re thinking of them, that they are strong and beautiful, that this seriously sucks, that you want it to get better, that you are scared that it won’t and you know they are too, that it’s ok to be afraid, that it’s ok to be angry, that you are on your way over with a movie, that you wish you could do more, that you are right there with them.

Bekah did that for me. She did it for so many of us...too many to know or count. I just read through all of her emails and blog comments and forum responses….and I cried and cried. I might still be crying a little, but don’t tell anyone. She made me know that she was there, even though she was a thousand miles away, and that she was holding my hand and that we were in it together.

Some choice quotes from Miss Bekah:

“Knock it down one day at a time, cupcake, we’re all cheering you on.”

“Somehow, I’m not sure how, but we find a way to reach into our souls, and the strength of others...to find a new, better, improved life.”

Oh, Darcy! This is so beautiful. I love the way you live and savor each day. It inspires me regularly to focus on how beautiful and perfect my own life is even though it seems otherwise at times (lately, most of the time). You are truly an inspiration. Keep on rocking it, my dear! xo