This blog is about my life as a mom, raising a son with a mood disorder. This is a tough journey and I hope that my words may allow others living with this illness see that they’re not alone. I’m also using this blog as a tool to process my own feelings and let go of the pain that I carry inside. If you’re new to this blog, check out my list of “Important Posts” in the right column and feel free to share your story with me. This blog shouldn’t be used for medical advice.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Cutting Away Negative Self Image

The weekend my oldest son decided to cut his long hair off. He’s been sportin’ a shoulder length shaggy hairstyle for sometime now and held onto it because, “I can hide under it”. Well to our complete surprise, my oldest decided to request clippers at his last haircut. Anxiously I waited for his response as his long locks fell to the floor, but to my relief he only seemed momentarily shocked, but continued on with the cut.

Emerging under all that hair we saw a handsome young man who looks a few years older and has a smiling beaming ear-to-ear. As he puts it, “I feel so much happier now with this haircut!”

I have to admit I shed a few tears of joy as I saw his face in a way I haven’t in years. I was also so proud of his bravery to just “Go for it!”—something we rarely see since his anxieties keep this kind of action at bay.

Now, I pray that he gets a positive response at school, because we all know that what your peers think matter most. In the meantime, I’m embracing this new hairstyle and hoping that along with the long hair left behind, he left his negative self-image on the floor. Don’t we wish it could be that simple?

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About Me

I’m a 45 year old Mama Bear married to my sweetheart for 25 years. We have 3 wonderful boys ages 16, 14 and 12. My oldest started showing signs of a mood disorder around 8 years ago. He is diagnosed with Bipolar NOS and recently Autism (Aspergers) and is taking Lithium, Wellbutrin and Melatonin and is in therapy with our HMO. Our youngest was diagnosed with Autism (Aspergers), ADHD and may also have a mood disorder. He is currently taking Prozac to help with anxiety and depression and has had great success with ABA therapy.