The highs and lows of a hopeless housewife.

This week at House Candy HQ...

Candylicious = Cinderella

Fine and Candy = Fairy Godmothers

Candy Pandy = Glass Slippers

Downright dangerous in my opinion.

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With a new royal baby on the way I can understand the furore surrounding Disney’s latest portrayal of everyone’s favourite gatecrasher.

Should a modern day princess still aspire to win the heart of a handsome prince, or should she be more bothered about putting one over on the ugly old cow-bag that kept her hidden away all these years?

Should girls really dream of designer dresses or feel confident rocking up to the ball in their scuzzy old work scruffs?

Is a classic blonde beauty and a size zero figure even relevant to today’s little princesses?

...I mean, this could get deep.

We don’t do princesses at House Candy HQ so I really don’t feel qualified to comment. What we do dig is a bit of Badass Princess interior style.

I’m talking:

Graffiti on the palace wall (Banksy if poss)

Four poster beds and crumpled linen sheets

Deep buttoned chesterfields and gothic skull cushions

Huge chandeliers and vintage furniture

Here’s a Pinterest board to give you more of an insight into my ideal fairytale palace scenario.

You see, I like to think today's princess is way more low maintenance than those of old. (Our Kate for example shops on the high street and bobs in to Waitrose on the way home). And whilst I’m happy to nurture this whole “chase me round town with my lost stiletto” business, I’d also like to think I could treat Prince C to a chinese takeaway and we could hang out watching Netflix in bed.

In fact, ideally my royal suitor, upon finding my glass slipper at the palace steps, would whisk me off to Footlocker and buy me a pair of running shoes to make the midnight curfew easier to manage. This pair would do nicely: www.store.nike.com

And if he’s only gonna marry me if I fit my swollen toes into a pair of pointy heels? ...well I’ll get the Godmother to conjour me up a fit butler instead. These days I really can’t do with Prince Pressure.