April 16th 2004

Well, I did it again. I updated PHQ. Yes, I guess I'm addicted to it, a workaholic, I'm addicted to positive criticism, I'm addicted to attention. I'm addicted to my minority complex. Sounds like fun? It isn't. Everything you do has to be absolutely perfect. So, maybe perfectionists are just children with minority complexes. I'm a child. Everyone's just a child. We never grow up. We never leave our dreams behind. We just realize that most of our dreams we had aren't possible in this world. We realize that existence must be a sadistic joke. We realize that life is not meant to last forever. We realize that people can die actually. We realize that our hands, our youthful skins and bones and bodies will be buried one time, buried or burnt. And forgotten. We realize that everything we do and even though we're trying so hard to leave a mark on this planet - in the end we'll be forgotten, we'll be just a senseless blood stain in someone's endless book.

April 14th 2004

Reporting in. I'm still alive (or the opposite), I've got a few additional ideas for HQS and at the moment I don't feel like working on PHQ anymore for some weeks. The reasons are just human and the more I think about it and my current situation the more I realize that things have gone into the wrong direction from the first moment. Single player is better than multi player. Because one human is intelligent and the more people there are the less intelligent people you'll see. I'm not insulting anyone and I don't want to offend anyone. All I want to say is that games featuring player versus player fights/competitions do not feature a happy end.

At the moment PHQ has no end at all, but we're far away from happiness.

But the good side effect - as weird as it might sound - is that I have more time for Halfquake Sunrise now. And for the comics, hopefully.

The next song for Halfquake Sunrise is almost finished and today I might continue working on my world.