For the past few months, while I clearly have not been writing, I’ve been on the job hunt. Now you may be thinking “Rachel, all you’ve been doing is traveling the past few months, doesn’t really look like you’ve been on a ‘job hunt’”. You might also be thinking “I literally don’t follow you on any social media and do not care about your life at all and didn’t even know you were traveling. I accidentally clicked on this link and now I’m gonna go back to browsing my feed for some softcore porn.” To those people I say, you are just jealous that I am extremely cultured now. I am sorry and truly feel bad for you, good luck with your future endeavors . But regardless of what you’re thinking, I really have been looking and let me tell you, it is causing me lots of stress.

But do you know what else stresses me the fuck out? Guys. I came to this conclusion after my friend made a very good point the other day. She said “The interviewing process feels like my relationship with most guys. They seem really interested at first and everything is going well, then they ghost you for a while, just to come back to tell you they miss you and want you back.” This resonated deeply with me because this is my life. My life is full of lots of interest to start, long periods of waiting around, and no end result.

Now maybe I should rephrase something: Maybe it isn’t just “guys” that are stressful, but it’s the process of dating, beginning to know someone, and getting into a relationship. This seems to somehow go hand in hand with the process of applying, interviewing, and getting a job. Let me explain:

First things first, you start doing some research. You hop on Indeed, LinkedIn, ZipRecruiter, and several other sus job sites. On the other side, researching for a guy can be a little trickier. Maybe you’re on Tinder, maybe you’re at the club, shit maybe you’re even Christian Mingle. Regardless of what that is, you’ve started scoping out some baby daddies. After this, you start doing some stalking. Check them out on LinkedIn, Glassdoor, Google, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. But the reviews can get confusing. Some people are telling you that they’re wonderful. Other people are saying it’s a scam, not what they signed up for!!! Some people are saying he has a big wiener. Other people are saying that it might be big but he doesn’t know how to use it. Whatever the case may be, you decide to take the leap of faith and find out for yourself.

So, you go for it. You have done your research and you’re ready to make a move. Some are pickier than others and will only apply to one or two, but most are little sluts and will go for about 10 at a time. You put yourself out there now you have to wait and see if they’ll respond and share a mutual interest.

After a few days of checking your phone constantly, they finally respond. You’re in. You’ve graduated to the next step: the interview/date. If we are trying to be optimistic, it goes great. You guys have great conversation, learn about one another, and think that everything is going smoothly. It like feels like soooo like organic. They seem to really like you and you feel like they are totally interested. You leave this first encounter feeling confident. You’re like Bret Michaels after the first episode of Rock of Love. Absolutely unstoppable. Every bitch in that room wants you. It all seems like it’s too good to be true. You say you’ll be in touch, and you are. The next few days/weeks/years??? you’re exchanging emails, texts, phone calls, tagging each other is memes, etc. But then, it happens.

All of a sudden, you aren’t hearing back. Hit with a huge curve ball. You’ve been casper the friendly ghosted and you aren’t sure where you went wrong. You start looking through your messages, and over thinking every tiny detail. Do I say something? Should I give them another call? Were they not as interested as I thought? Was I too much when I said I would love to do lunch soon? Should I not have invited him Christmas dinner? Do I let it go? Do I make myself feel better and booty call my old manager from Panda Express? All of a sudden you’re back to square one.

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Once this bullshit is all said and done, you kinda feel stupid. You had your hopes up. Sometimes you never find out where you went wrong, or if you even went wrong at all. Getting left in the dust by someone can be so unbelievably frustrating because all you are asking for is a simple explanation, a “what could I have done better”, if you will. Over the years I have personally learned that communication is key, for businesses and guys alike. If people were just straight forward, so many situations like this could be avoided. Yeah okay maybe we’ll get a little butthurt at first, but a simple “we filled the position” or “you seem like the kind of girl who would only enjoy missionary position” would suffice. Because when you get a clear answer as to why it’s not gonna work, it’s on to the next one, or five.