Sunday, August 16, 2009

This is my Panasonic electronic pencil sharpener. I have no idea what the model number was, if it had one.

I don't know when it was bought. I first remember seeing it in my Dad's law firm when I worked there in the summer of 1982 (I ran the copy machine for $2/hour).

At some point it got relocated to our house, and I took it with me to college, then medical school. It's since sat patiently on my desk, heroically and faithfully performing it's services when called to do so. It's been with me for at least 20 years, and likely more.

This week, it passed into the great machine heaven, done in by having to sharpen 6 dozen pencils in preparation for the new school year. It tried valiantly, but just couldn't handle it.

Besides the Grumpy family, it leaves behind many friends, including a stapler, tape dispenser, and desk lamp.

Services will be held in the next few weeks, as Frank requested an autopsy be performed to see what's inside an electric pencil sharpener.

CAPE CORAL, Fla. – Authorities said a patient at a Cape Coral doctor's office bit part of the doctor's finger off after being denied a prescription. Police reported that a 45-year-old man went to see Dr. Paul Arnold Wednesday morning, and the man became upset about not receiving prescription medication.

Police said Arnold turned his back and the man attacked him. The patient reportedly bit Arnold several times, taking off the doctor's fingertip with one bite.

The fingertip was recovered at the scene and Arnold was taken to a nearby hospital.

Police have put out a warrant for the patient's arrest on a charge of aggravated battery.

That's too bad. Now you'll have to buy a new one that was probably made in a third-world country by a child making five cents an hour, and the kicker is the damn thing will probably break in two years!

Such a sweetie, to bid adieu. Bet it'll take a long time to find one with as much history and character, as well as sheer doggedness. It may take several to match the old one for longevity i.e. another sharpener lifetime? (Like the old saying 'it was in the last place I looked' meaning don't have to look anymore after the missing article is found.)

I broke the sad news to its brother which served first for 20 years in my engineering business then survived endless tasks at the hands of many kids who would try to sharpen anything they can jam into it.Truly a member of the "Greatest Generation" of office gizmos now semi-retired, like me, but still functional.My heartfelt condolences.

My dad brought home one of these "electronic" pencil sharpeners (what electronics? I'd have said "electric") as well. It was even older than yours, I think. Ours was blue and white, with a clear plastic shavings-holder.

It didn't have auto-stop like yours, though; there was a little orange light that told you the pencil was ready, but if you didn't pull out, it would cheerfully go on grinding away until you were left with nothing but an eraser.

(Heck, I still remember the hand cranked ones we had in school, most of which were lacking the cover/shaving holder so the shavings fell on the floor under the machine, and you could stick your finger in the opening and sharpen that if you so desired. Can you imagine the liability issues today if such a device was in schools? Come to think of it, my wife teaches in public school, I'll have to ask her if they still have them...)

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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