I e-filed my taxes on 22 March. I got my “the IRS has accepted your federal return” email on 22 March. Then I waited for my refund. I expected my refund within a couple weeks, as usual. I kept waiting, and waiting, and waiting. On 17 April I got a letter from the IRS saying they needed more information “to verify my identity;” that I needed to call their secure phone number or use their secure website. I used their website, answered a few questions (which anyone who knows me fairly well, or even researched me would be able to answer!) and got a lovely message which said:

Congratulations, we’ve verified your identity. We will continue processing your return. Due to our system being over burdened at this time, your refund will take up to six weeks.

What the absolute fuck, IRS?! Six weeks?! Six fucking weeks?! How about, next year, I do the same to you? How about I wait until 17 April, and then tell you that I need you to verify your paperwork or some such bullshit, and then tell you I’ll get back to you in six weeks?

“Over burdened at this time?” As if you did not know that 15 April was the tax deadline? Was it a surprise? Were you unprepared?

I cannot begin to tell you how irate I am with you. I understand that you are a necessary evil, but you have no excuse for this level of incompetence. Zero excuses! You rely on people’s willingness to cooperate with your over taxation of the lower and middle class, while you refuse to fairly tax the upper class and corporations. I’ve always filed my taxes early, and paid if needed, yet this is how you treat me. So, SCREW YOU! Screw you, with no lube, not even any saliva, over and over and over!

I’m still waiting for the results of my endoscopy. All the discharge paperwork says, other than that they took biopsies, is that they found gastritis.

I would normally lock this post, due to the personal information, but I feel that the warning about Kaiser is worth leaving it public.

I was supposed to go see Dr P, this morning, at the Kaiser Psychiatry Department. I cancelled, because he’s not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, as I asked to see, over and over and over (as they don’t have any there for you to see), he doesn’t believe individual therapy works and he just wants to push me into group therapy (as all the doctors there do), which I refuse to be a part of. If you want to see a psychiatrist, you need a “first come, first served” appointment, at a different facility! Kaiser is absolutely worthless, if you need actual mental health care! If you need casual mental health care, what I call beginner’s mental health care (just a counselor or a therapist, there’s nothing wrong with that, but some people need more serious treatment), then Kaiser might be OK. If you need serious mental health care, then Kaiser is 100% worthless! I have PTSD. I was told, flat out, that I would not be treated for my PTSD because I “did not face death.” Well, screw you, Kaiser! Millions of PTSD sufferers have not faced death. They flat out refuse to acknowledge my MDD and Anxiety as serious disorders. They act as if they are trivial, and want me to talk, in a group, about “what tips I use to move forward.” That’s not going to work, if I’m still re-living past trauma, and you should know that. The first counselor I saw there, in under an hour, tried to diagnose me with Borderline Personality Disorder. Are you frakkin’ kidding me?! A BPD diagnosis, in under an hour, with not knowing any of my thirty-plus year medical history (which you expected me to summarize in thirty minutes!)?! Absolutely worthless “doctor.” Horrible! I do NOT have BPD! Pretty much an entire building of incompetent doctors!

These are more examples of huge problems in our failing mental health care system.

If you need actual mental health care, stay away from Kaiser Permanente, at all costs, literally and figuratively!

I go for an endoscopy later this morning. They had better find something. Anything. I do not want to hear, “Everything looks just fine.” Everything is not “just fine!” It is not normal to start coughing in my sleep, which wakes me up, because the last cough was coupled with vomit. It is not normal to be sitting on the couch, watching TV or surfing reddit, start coughing and end up vomiting. Sometimes, when I’m sitting, the coughing starts with a tickle at the back of my throat. Sometimes it starts with that icky, dull burning sensation either just under my diaphragm or in the V shaped area between the sternal head. I also start to belch, a lot, and I cannot not belch.

I’m so tired of this! I’m tired of “sleeping” on the couch. I’m tired of getting only a few hours of sleep a night. I have to sleep while almost sitting up. I’m tired of the pain in my gut and in my chest and in my throat. I miss my appetite. I love eating. I love food (well, some food, I’m a picky eater). I barely eat these days (for at least the past month), but I don’t lose weight. I joke with Craig that I haven’t lost any weight all this time because I’ve got a big ass tumor in my gut that keeps me at the same weight. We used to joke about me being pregnant with evil triplets, but that was just too scary.

The prep for the endoscopy is no food or water after midnight. OK, that’s typical. My procedure is scheduled for 11:00. I had originally asked for the latest possible appointment, since I must have someone with me, so Craig would only need to take a half-day off work. Prep was the same. No food or water after midnight. I asked why, since the later procedure was five or six hours later, and for me, that’s a long time to go without food, and especially water (I drink water all day long). All the lady would say was, “No food or water after midnight. It doesn’t matter what time the procedure is.” I understand they don’t want me aspirating anything, but there is no way that a gulp of water that I take at 03:30 is going to be in my stomach at 11:00. Hell, it won’t even be in my stomach at 03:45.

To add to the fun, I’ve had a cold the past three weeks, so my throat is a little irritated from that, too. At least I’ll get some rest with the anesthesia.

Hello. I’ve refrained from chiming in about this, as I couldn’t care less about sports, but the more I think about it, the more it bothers me. I am confused, I am angered, I am disgusted. Why you are throwing away over $8 million on a single piece of art (which is utterly hideous, by the way), that will sit and collect dust and bird poop, when that money can educate, house and feed thousands of people? You’re not even investing that money in local artists! How many shelters turn away people every night? How many food banks are in need of food? Heck, how many animal shelters are in desperate need of funding? There are so many better things to spend $8+ million on, than an Entertainment and Sports Complex and one piece of art. There is so very much wrong with what you have proposed and nothing at all right.

Please tell me how you justify spending $8 million dollars on a piece of art, from a guy in NY, when we need to take care of the people of Sacramento. That $8 million needs to go into the community here. That $8 million needs to go into the people of Sacramento. That $8 million does not need to go into the bank account of some guy in New York.

Thank you,
–me–

My questions are honest, and I want answers. The city is ready to throw over $9 million to “sports and entertainment” and a single crappy piece of art. WHERE IS THE MONEY FOR THE HOMELESS?! WHERE IS THE MONEY FOR THE ANIMALS?! We need to get our priorities straight, people!