A glimpse into my life…

Month: August 2012

It was inevitable. From the moment I started reading my wedding vows, I also started to sob uncontrollably (in the absolute sloppiest fashion possible).

At the same time, my voice carried across that patio space like a church mouse, leaving my guests with nothing but a few faint squeaks, muffled sounds and sniffles. Definitely embarrassing, and not at all what I had intended.

So today, to redeem myself, I would like to restate my vows in the most concrete and lasting way I know how. And while incredibly personal, vows (and specifically mine) are meant to be shared.

Here’s to my new husband and to all those who came out to celebrate with us this past weekend. What I lack in my voice, I will try to make up for in words:

Before I met you John, I wasn’t sure I would ever find someone special to share my life with,

In fact, I had almost given up hope,

But when we met, everything made sense,

All the pieces fell into place, all at the right time,

And in what seemed like an instant, I had this incredible companion by my side who understood and accepted me for who I was, in spite of all of my flaws,

As I sit here, holding back tears, frustrated to the point where I can barely type, one question comes to mind:

Since when did weddings become about everything and everyone but the two people getting married?

A year and two months ago, when John bent down on one knee, on those untrustworthy, but quaint wooden steps off of Saskatchewan Drive, I was elated. So incredibly excited at the thought of spending the rest of my life with my best friend—the one person who loved me wholly and unconditionally. In that moment, it was only us, and no one else.

Through most of the stages of our wedding planning, it has been entirely about us. The type of venue we picked, the kind of ceremony we wanted, the colours and themes that fit our style—all John and Paige. Which is exactly how it should be.

But then, somewhere along the way, things started to get complicated. And by things, I mean people. Certain expectations were not met, certain feelings were hurt and certain levels of disappointment could not be reversed.

And that brings us to now. The point where I’m starting to wonder why we decided to have a “traditional” wedding at all. Shouldn’t our commitment to one another be enough?

OK, so my previous statement isn’t entirely true. While I was never the kid who dreamed of my perfect wedding day, I knew from the time I started dating John that I wanted to marry him.

For us, our wedding is about sharing how we feel about each other to the people who matter most to us. All the frills, details and traditions are secondary.

The problem is, we happen to live in a culture that is wedding-obsessed. And believe me when I say, it’s dangerously easy to get caught up in that obsession—especially when it’s all you know.

But as I’m sitting here, still upset, my blood feeling as though it’s about to boil, I need to remember the reason behind our big day (which is coming up in a little over two weeks, I might add!).