I have received and am very pleased with the assignment feedback from my tutor which he “very much enjoyed” . I try as much as possible to follow up all his suggested reading and research and often find myself pressured for time but was reassured I am making reasonable progress. “Judging by both your blog and assignment submissions you are really soaking up every suggestion that is being offered–which is really great to see. I really think this is broadening your photographic awareness and sensibilities” . I am extremely lucky to have Keith as my tutor as memory and post-memory are his “specific fields of interest within photography” . However I was mortified to be informed that I had misspelt Sontag throughout putting Sontang instead !!! I have amended my blog and references accordingly , but have no idea how I managed to do that as I am usually very careful with my spelling.

Assignment Feedback

”Another great collection of themed images …with a truly touching narrative” . I commented that I want this assignment to be part of a larger body of work , and he agrees that this set of ” images will work together as a larger collection further down the line”. I am pleased also that he felt my double exposures “work well” within the theme. However he felt my initial image did not fit in and was “too literal and clichéd for a collection of images that are this powerful” I agree entirely , I felt that too but was at a loss as how to start the narrative. He feels I do not need it and his detailed feedback has given me an idea I will incorporate when I re-do my pdf book dummy–of which he made some observations for me to consider. He suggests “ having the confidence to use a historic image in its entirety to support” my story , and I shall replace and use one as my opening image.

He pointed out that he thought I perhaps needed to re-consider the pdf/book dummy design “I would be inclined to show the historic image on one page in its entirety and the other image on the adjacent page in its entirety” I could kick myself as this was something I actually considered but wondered if I was ‘cheating’ somehow by using old and new photographs making a total of more than the 10 images required for the assignment. I failed to consider the presentation , which unlike prints needs a different approach. He feels “this collection would really suit a book format ” and suggests I try to “work with a graphic designer (if at all possible) …. and watch how they would present both the types of imagery and research and text” . I know just the man –my son-in-law who lectures part time in Graphic Art and also runs his own business. I shall enlist his input and re-do the pdf and then also order a book from Blurb.

On a positive note he commented ” I couldn’t fault your photography from a technical perspective -you really have a close attention to detail and the work is very well presented” . He suggests I think about how I can remain in “full control of the creative output” by considering the format I use , i.e. landscape or portrait — I do seem to always use the landscape format. He wants me to explore historical images in more depth and has introduced me “to the notion of ‘Memes’ (not the internet type!!!…. But the place where the term was first coined …Richard Dawkins –The Selfish Gene (1976) Page 192.” He has given me a link HERE to his own research .

Reading suggestions

Dawkins , Richard . 1976. The Selfish Gene. Oxford University Press
Recommended because ” he actually had some really unique ways of describing human cultural transmission. Have a read about what he says and see if there might be something there for you to use within your photography“.
I have reserved a copy of this today via my local library .

Additionally Keith has recommended a novel he has recently read by Serbian author Dubravka Ugresic , The Museum of Unconditional Surrender. ” It was all about an imaginative investment into historic imagery …might be worth taking a look?” I have ordered my own copy today from Abe Books.

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I have used a variety of focal lengths and different viewpoints using thee different lens’s. A 17-40mm , a 24-105mm and a 50mm prime lens. Creating a cohesive narrative was quite a challenge , I have chosen old photographs that , to me , represent certain times in my mum’s life and as such form a story of loss ,time and memory from girlhood to now but not in a linear way. I tried not to direct my mum too much , simply told her where to stand or sit and took it from there. As I am trying to compile a larger body of work I chose to once again use my black backdrop to maintain visual consistency throughout , even though this set of images are in colour not black and white.

Quality of outcome

I am pleased with my prints and have once again used A4 Permajet fibre Base Royal 325. I did have some problems with my printer chewing the paper but hopefully have resolved this now. I needed to spend quite some time creating the diptych’s but am reasonably happy with how individually and as a set they convey my chosen narrative . I have made a couple of photo books before for family but have never included text and this was something I needed to really consider carefully .The text is brief but reveals the context of the images. I have made a PDF as required for the assignment but also want to obtain a printed book , I really want to make a home made book too but am unsure of the best way to do that so might leave that until I have a bit more time. I have only made a very basic looking book dummy , I am not confident enough yet to try anything too complicated. I actually made about six versions of the PDF varying the order of the images to try and decide which worked best , even though I had already spread the images around the floor—–I am going to obtain a magnetic board like fellow students Catherine and Stephanie use. I was not expecting to enjoy working in colour as much as I did and feel it makes the work more contemporary and because of that perhaps heightens the sense of poignancy when comparing past to present .

Demonstration of creativity

I realise I am lucky owning a case of old family photographs that help me to conceive my conceptual ideas. I wanted to challenge myself further with this assignment and experimented with double exposures. Rather stubbornly I made the decision not to use the live- view mode in my camera to compose the multi exposures , whilst this would have enabled me to compose and see the resulting combined image I preferred the unreliable outcome. “Double exposure can be used in a planned way , but it is always difficult to predict what will happen -and that is part of the excitement” (Fox, A & Caruana , N , 2012 , p.g 87) . I feel my double exposures reflect the inconstancy of memory and I did consider using a whole series of double exposures for the entire assignment but decided against this but have included two of my personal favourites . My only concern is that I hope my mix of diptych and double exposures does not look too disjointed.

Context

As usual I am running way behind schedule but feel I have achieved a reasonable amount since the last assignment and my blog now contains a slowly growing source of resource material.

I have managed to go to two Martin Parr exhibitions which I thoroughly enjoyed. Seeing physical prints rather than looking at images on screen or in a book is a far better way of appreciating the work.

I need to attend more exhibitions than I do , I have a week of work next week and plan to attend at least one exhibition locally. I would love to go to London more frequently as there is a far wider choice of exhibitions but it is not practicable most of the time for me to get there.

I do find the internet a wonderful resource for finding interesting photographs and found three , Ali Mombasser , Nina Roeder and Sarah Dixon , who use different conceptual approaches in their own exploration of time , memory and loss.

I really enjoyed researching the work of Lorie Novak and David Favrod as recommended by Keith my tutor.

I used a black backdrop for this and my previous assignment and I looked at the work of two photographers who also one to great effect , Craig Becker and Rebecca Moseman. I have made a note of a couple of other photographers who have also used black backdrops in their respective documentary projects and will write about them too when I have completed my research.

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“ A photograph is only a fragment , and with the passage of time its moorings come unstuck. It drifts away into a soft abstract pastness open to any kind of reading (or matching to any other photographs) . ( Sontag , S. 1979 , p.g 71)

This is a continuation of my research into time , ageing and loss , a concept used for the 2nd assignment. I decided once again to use a plain black backdrop and the contents from my case of old family photographs , not only to maintain visual constituency but in the hope these images will eventually form a larger body of work incorporating both my second and final assignment images.

The title of my project came to me whilst rooting through my case of photographs I came across a picture of a young and happy couple , friends of my parent’s , and on the front of the photo someone (who?) had written ‘happy days’ . The title is also a pun , I felt sad as I continued to look through the case because “most subjects are , just by virtue of being photographed , touched with pathos. …a beautiful subject can be the object of rueful feelings , because it has aged or decayed or no longer exists . All photographs are memento mori . To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s ( or thing’s ) mortality , vulnerability , mutability . Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it , all photographs testify to time’s relentless melt” (Sontag ,S. 1979 ,p.g 15).

Born on the 4th November 1925 my mum will be 90 later this year , she is no longer the independent and agile child or beautiful young woman she once was , and “through photographs we follow in the most intimate , troubling way the reality of how people age ” ( Sontag , S . 1979, p.g 70) . My narrative reconstructs remembered events and moments during her lifetime , mum’s memories personified to become my own. However memory is unreliable , why do some memories remain and are so signifiant they last a lifetime , yet others fade ? How can fleeting and sometimes inconsequential moments define a person or a life?

I searched through my case of family photographs seeking physical proof of past events yet the pictures I finally chose are merely “fragments of stories , never stories in themselves ” (Hirsch,M . 2012 p.g 83) . A printed photograph ” as opposed to film or video ……. reduces time to frozen moments that linger in our memory . We can choose the image that best fits our memories or fantasises at any given moment ” (Novak, L. 2013 p.g 197). Hence my narrative can only be a finite and subjective retrospective of my mothers life .”What I see when I look at my family pictures is not what you see when you look at them:only my look is affiliative , only my look enters and extends the network of looks and gazes that have constructed the image in the first place” ( Hirsch , M. 2012 , p.g 93)

A (very basic in style) PDF book dummy here as required for the assignment Happy Days in printed book form it will be landscape . I intend to order a book but after speaking to my son-in-law may alter the font/text type beforehand + await tutor feedback.

Time

“A family’s photograph album is generally about the extended family–and , often , is all that remains ” Susan Sontag (On Photography)

Saucer Eyes

Mum had large blue eyes and the other children would shout ‘get saucer eyes to look for it’ if anything was dropped on the floor or lost at school. She hated being called that.

The Red Beret

Aged 9 wearing her new red beret mum walked into the local village with friends. The beret was made from wool and when it began to rain red dye ran all down her face. She remembers the other children laughing at her as she ran home.

Wheels

Aged 17 mum wanted to be a motorbike dispatch rider in the army. She cried all weekend before her parents would allow her to join. She never did learn to ride a motorbike but was taught to drive lorries instead. Despite the war she says these were amongst the happiest days of her life.

Mum in a Swimsuit

Mum’s knitted swimsuit was highly fashionable in the 1940’s but also incredibly impracticable: it grew larger when wet ! Mum was young and nimble then, but never became a competent swimmer.

Woolcraft

Mum loved knitting but has not picked up her needles for many years now. Hands , once so industrious , have become arthritic , knotted and old .

Lipstick Kisses

When they were newly married my parents lived with my paternal grandparents. Mum used to go shopping every day with my nan always meeting friends and neighbours who loved to stand and gossip in the street. Mum always wore bright lipstick in those days and they would chuckle and laugh that my young handsome dad would be covered in kisses when he came home.

The Pipe

I helped my mum clear dad’s things out when he died, she wanted to throw away his pipe. He was never without his pipe , it was a part of who he was. I clearly remember my paternal grandmother telling us about a dream she had when my grandfather died. After his death she threw his pipe away– but he returned in a dream to tell her off. Mum does not remember my nan’s re-told dream but it remains to this day clear in my mind. We kept the pipe .

Self-portrait with Mum

Here we both are ,older and younger together in one frame, I will always remain my mother’s child . But our respective roles have reversed , I have become the parent she once was as she becomes , with age,more dependant on me.

Last of the Lowerys

Mum was one of seven children and numerous cousins. She’s the only one left now, the last of the Lowerys.

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I am still playing around with double exposures . I initially took some self-portraits of myself with my mum on the 18/8/15 , the majority of which have been deleted –my cable release has broke so I was using the timer and running back and forth to get myself into the frame. As I have already decided to include quite a few diptych’s in the assignment I didn’t want to simply do another one. I am pleased with this , its very rare for us to be photographed together.

Another diptych , mum is the last one alive from her large family consisting of seven siblings.

+ I re-took another couple of double exposures using my lipstick kisses on black card and a photo of mum and dad on their wedding day –I am really undecided whether to include one of these lipstick ones or not . I am printing the images this weekend so will play around with the sequencing and see how they look as a set and decide then. Once I have decided on which images I am going to use I will make my PDF.

Original

I have also created another version of one of my diptych’s following a remark made by fellow student Catherine who mentioned “the matching expressions and posture despite all those intervening years” , I must admit this was not something I consciously did. Mum’s eyes are looking down in the first version but thinking about Catherine’s comment I used a different image which does , I feel , fit that criteria and works better.

Original version

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I have been busy taking more photographs and , following fellow student feedback on my previous assignment progress post , have created some diptych’s which I feel are more successful than the double exposures I originally planned to use . I still intend to use some of my double exposures as part of the assignment but need to carefully consider which ones , and only a few.

Books I am reading –I really should say ‘scanning quickly’– at the moment in preparation for the assignment :

More photos of mum in the swimming costume again , I want to compare these with the earlier ones taken with her wearing armbands + she had her watch and Lifeline wrist pendant on in the initial set. Not too sure if they add or subtract to the meaning , any thoughts on this would be welcome. There is such a poignancy when comparing the beauty of youth with the deterioration of the body in old age. Could the Lifeline pendant and arm bands be possibly considered signifiers of the inevitable ageing process and its resulting loss of independence ?

9/8/15
Indoors / 17-40 lens / window light

Photos of mum rummaging through our old photographs trying to convey a sense of time slipping away through her fingers, the aged hands and old photos symbolic of time and memory.

12/8/15
Outdoors / 17-40 lens / early evening soft light

My 2nd attempt at recreating an acquired memory of mum smothering dad is lipstick kisses.
Just as well I like and buy a lot of lipstick as I needed to kiss the black card- lots –not very pleasant !

16/8/15
Outdoors / 24-105 lens / side light

Mum’s mobility is very restricted and she relies on her ‘wheels’ to walk anywhere , sadly never alone . Aged 17 she cried for an entire weekend to be allowed to join the army , she wanted to be a motor-bike dispatch rider. She never rode a motor -bike but did join the armed forces to become a lorry driver.

I really need to start thinking about which images I want to use and consider what order to present them. I need to prepare a PDF as required for the assignment and will also be sending prints to my tutor as agreed and intend to make a Blurb book direct from Lightroom. I have made a couple of books using Photobox but have heard such good reports about Blurb books + I can create the book directly in Lightroom. I would really like to make my own home made book but am restricted to time at the moment , this might be something I do later.

I am wondering about the design of the PDF/ Blurb book too . I want to keep it quite simple with text on one page and an image opposite but wonder whether to include on some of the text pages one or two of my old scanned pictures too . This is something I didn’t initially consider as I was only thinking of the images as prints , I have begun to play around with the book module in Lightroom so will see how it goes. As I am creating two different modes of output , print and book / PDF , I could possibly vary these slightly to the prints , not too sure though.

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I originally planned to finish the third section and Assignment 3 by the beginning of August but have reset my deadline to the 1st September. I’ve been taking photographs for a few weeks now trying out different ideas and ways to communicate time and memory . What I planned to do was reconstruct shared memories , mine and my mum’s , in a way that contrasted mum’s life now with her past. My initial working title following on from my 2nd Assignment: Precious Memories is ‘What’s Left ?’ a narrative about age , time and memory.

As I’ve spent more time doing this I realise the memories I am visually creating are my interpretation of events — on discussing these with mum we have different recollections of the same incidents. Some happened before I was born but seem as real to me as my own personal memories , I have assimilated them and made them my own , a concept explored by David Favrod ( see my earlier research ) .

Some of my ideas worked , others not so well , however having discovered a new technique to try with my digital camera I re-assessed my approach and decided to take a series of double exposures. I made the decision not to use the live- view mode in my camera to compose the multi exposures , whilst this would enable me to compose and see the resulting combined image before I press the shutter I prefer the unreliable outcome. “Double exposure can be used in a planned way , but it is always difficult to predict what will happen -and that is part of the excitement” (Fox, A & Caruana , N , 2012 , p.g 87) Each image for the double exposures can be taken at different times and with different lenses too.

My poor mum , who will be 90 in November , makes a very patient ‘model’ putting up with all sorts of indignities in order for me to get my photographs !
Due to her poor mobility I generally need to take most of the images of her indoors.

28/6/15
Indoors / 24-105 lens / window light

The Yellow Hat

This represents a vivid memory of mine but strangely one my mum doesn’t remember at all even though the incident included her. I used a bunch of fresh chrysanthemums , also known as mums , and an old sunhat to make her a crown of flowers.

I remember , aged about 14 , waiting in the corridor of my grammar school for my mother to arrive for a meeting , but I cannot remember why or what for. Other girls were waiting for their mothers too. The school had a quadrangle surrounded by glass windows through which you could see people walking on the other side , I can see my mum now ,wearing a bright yellow hat which resembled a flower bobbing along , my mum loved hats ! The other girls waiting with me , on seeing her walking along the other side of the quadrangle started laughing about her hat , I was mortified. As she approached me I snarled at her “why are you wearing that stupid hat you look ridiculous ” , she looked hurt but said nothing . How I regret those thoughtless words , yet she remembers nothing about that day . Strange how small and inconsequential moments last a lifetime . I might try a double exposure again as I am not going to use this as it is in my assignment, but finding the right image or object to create personal meaning is important .

4/7/15
Outside / 50mm prime lens / side light

A shy child mum was known as ‘saucer eyes’ at school . I took some close-up portrait images with the idea of perhaps doing a diptych of her and my eldest granddaughter who has huge eyes. Again I won’t be using these as stand alone images , whether I try some double exposures with them is something I might consider .

8/7/15
Outside / 50mm prime lens

My first attempt at double exposures .
I put on red lipstick and ‘kissed’ the paper !
As a young woman my mum wore bright red lipstick , she told me how my nan, dad’s mum , and aunts laughed saying “Ken will be smothered in red kisses when he comes home” . The acquired memory makes me smile , my parents young and in love.
As I want to keep all off my backgrounds black I need to re-do this but not sure if red lipstick will stand out on black card—will have to try .

11/7/15
Outside / 50mm prime lens

Made mum wear red lipstick -something she never does now-initially with the idea of using one as a stand alone image , but these didn’t turn out that well and I’ve only posted this one , not brilliant but as an idea of what I was trying to do.

&

Indoors / 24-105 lens

Mum’s hands –I want to take a double exposure later .

15/7/15
Outside / 50mm prime lens

Double exposures of mum’s hands and an old knitting pattern book. Mum was always knitting when I was young and continued knitting for my children when they were young. Over time a badly broken finger that was never straightened and arthritis mean she is unable to pick up her knitting needles any more.

18/7/15
Indoors / 24-105 lens

Mum told me a story from when she was very young of a red woollen beret she wore . The dye ran down her face when it rained and I attempted to recreate this using fake blood -not successful !!! But I took a couple of shots of her in the beret sans the ‘dye’ , which I felt were better and could possible use later .

19/7/15
Indoors / 24-105 lens

Mum moved to Birmingham as young woman in the late 1940’s and was teased about her strong Geordie accent. She frequently played cards with my paternal grandmother and aunts , who laughed at her pronunciation of eight. A shy person she wanted to blend in not stand out and consequently set out to deliberately lose her lovely accent. I remember if we visited Northumberland or she spoke to relatives on the telephone she immediately reverted to a Geordie accent but at home in the Midlands she had no discernible accent. Interestingly as she gets older I hear the Northumbrian lilt more frequently.

I made the ‘saucy’ 1940’s playing cards from a screenshot printed and pasted onto card.
Again I had an idea for a stand-alone image with the playing cards held in front of her face rather like a police mug-shot but didn’t like these. Hence I did some double exposures.

25/7/15
Indoors / 24-105 lens

I have a wonderful photograph of mum in a knitted swimsuit that she told me ‘grew’ when wet , I even downloaded an original 1940’s knitting pattern but needed someone who could knit if for me , unlike my mum I cannot knit , I planned to take a photograph of mum in it ! This idea never materialised.

Another idea was to make a diptych , mum now and me as a 7 year old child , the age she took me every Sunday for swimming lessons. I can swim like a fish but my mum was never confident in the water and never got her face wet , hence the arm bands and walking frame in the picture I took of her.

29/7/15
Outside /24-105 lens

Double exposures using the swimsuit image

Double exposures using the red beret image.

My mum is the tall girl on the right

Indoors / 17-40 lens

I laid out some of my collection of old photos to spell the word time , I think this would be an ideal image to begin the narrative. It was more difficult than I anticipated and hard to compose and frame. My knees are nearly always very painful and I got stuck on the floor more than once setting this up !

30/7/15
Outdoors / 24-105 lens

I took a double exposure of two old photographs , me aged 7 and my mum in her knitted costume in her 20’s. Happy holiday memories of our younger selves.

Double exposures using the pictures taken yesterday. Not sure that these work really , I think I prefer them as taken yesterday.

Outdoors / 24/105 lens

This image represents a really strong memory of mine about my dad and paternal grandfather.

My granddad and dad both smoked pipes , dad’s seemed to be always in his mouth even if not lit. When my granddad died Nan threw his pipe away but I remember her relating a dream she had later after his funeral — he had told her off for throwing his pipe away , I never forgot that. When my own dad died and me and mum were clearing his things out I was adamant his pipe could not suffer the same fate as that of my granddad’s . My mum doesn’t remember nan’s dream but we kept the pipe and it sits on my bookcase to this day .

Dad and his pipe below

TO BE CONTINUED …………

References / Bibliography

Fox, A and Caruana, N. (2012) Behind the Image: Research in Photography. Lausanne: AVA Publishing SA