The acrylic of diploma. Checked.

July 19, 2016

written by
oksanakart

I want to tell a story about one fulfilled desire, accompanied by a difficulty on the way to its implementation. The desire was fulfilled a little differently from what I had imagined, but this does not negate that fact of its implementation. Once in my list was the point “Draw graffiti on the wall.” Thanks to my friend’s of friend’s, my name was noted in the commentary to the post of a stranger to me the person that she was looking for someone who could paint the wall. “Why yes?” – I thought then. We have agreed with the customer, agreed to meet also. When I received examples of what she wanted to see on her wall, she gulped with uncertainty when she saw that I could manage it. But nothing is impossible, I thought then. The impossible just takes a little longer time. And I had plenty of time, as it seemed to me then. For a month and a half, while the customer was abroad, painting the wall in 5 square meters is a very real thing.

The project has begun.

When the main drawing was already ready and there was left to do the background, I decided to send customer on the email pictures of what already had done. Then I received a not very inspiring answer and expressed doubts in my abilities. A blow to self-esteem. Full defocusing. And the most remarkable opportunity with a crash to fail seems to be not such a hopeless project. The limited of pixel communication made it impossible to count emotions and make sure my understanding was correct. It would be seem – nothing fatal. Just understand what the customer wants, catch her wave and do it. But the blow to self-esteem and information pressure on the main job have undermined confidence into myself and in my capabilities.

Third days I “sat in a hole”. “I was sitting in the pit,” and I understood that I needed to get out of it.
Still continuing to “sit in the pit,” I talked to people. Tried to suppress emotions and think rationally. I was looking not so much for support from the side, as for the opportunity not to listen to my negative thoughts, which greatly hampered me. I went to the shop and bought a couple of tubes of the necessary to paint, still thinking that by them I can do more fade. Then I came home, I tried to draw a small sketch on paper. It turned out garbage. Because in my head was the bullshit.

Panic. Light psychosis. And the desire to burrow into a sleek and demand upon hugs. But there was no plaid on hand. I had to go back to the above mentioned wall and fight against it with my head. Because otherwise there was no supports to stay on the ladder, painting over the background. Apparently, 5 square meters of wall gives more opportunities to swing than miniature sheet A4.

I began to work successful.

Negative thoughts went out. If this time the customer will not like my work, then I will take this wall with me! But I liked the work as a result. And finally the customer, and her son too, in whose room this wall was painted.

Yesterday was the day of IKS. Day of payment and delivery of the project. I feel the euphoria and ease of a successfully completed project, as if I would be pass again University diploma. Although if I will think about it again, to be sure, this wall is a kind of my diploma in the research of properties and the taming of acrylic in general and in the style of esoteric graffiti in particular.