Doc Love: Get Out Of The Friend Zone

This week's question comes from a guy who made the mistake of being his love interest's shoulder to cry on. Find out if Doc Love can help him get out of the friend zone, and fast.

reader's question

Hey Doc,

First, I’ll come clean: I only found out about you recently after searching for info on body language and reading between the lines to figure a woman out. So, having read some of your advice and being suitably impressed, I decided to use it for my own ends. Note: I haven’t read “The System” yet, so I have a very limited understanding of your methods.

This is about a girl I’m interested in who just got over a breakup with her boyfriend. I always got on well with the girl, who I’ll call Romana. We always had a fun and very flirty relationship, but no romance. Now she’s split with this guy and had a couple of flings and I’m thinking that I want to try to get a bit closer.

playing deep in the friend zone

First of all, I had to get out of the “friend zone” (I helped Romana through her breakup and was there for her always — not very smart, I know) so after her rebound flings I decided to play the “make her jealous" card. I dated a couple of other girls and asked Romana for advice on dealing with them. This seemed to work because Romana seemed shocked when I finally told her that I’d been dating other girls, but she was turned on by my apparent prowess and ability to keep my dating a secret from her — so I had the “mystery” thing going for me too. She’s even referred to me as a “dark horse.”

I also became a little less available to Romana and noticed her calling me up more often, but I responded less. After a few drinks at a bar and some serious laughs, one night she got very touchy-feely. My self-control went straight out the window, and I went in for the kiss, but she backed off. This surprised me. The next day there was no tension between us — we laughed about what happened and nothing seems to have changed.

From what I can tell, Romana shows all the signs of being interested in me, however, I’m not sure if I’m far enough out of the friend zone yet or if she sees me as her little lapdog. Am I being played like a deck of cards or is it worth continuing this pursuit? Where do I go from here?

Savion - who needs some better moves

doc love's answer

Hi Savion,

Figuring out women, now isn’t that what it’s all about? And what you’ll discover someday, pal, is the massive difference between males and females. Unfortunately for you, your knowledge of the proper methods for cracking the mystery of women — my methods — will remain severely limited until you get your hands on "The System." Remember, I didn’t get the moniker “the first man in 6,000 years to understand women” just because I’m good-looking!

You’re right about one thing: It wasn’t very smart of you to be holding Romana’s hand when she was crying over her breakup with her boyfriend. To you Psych majors; you’re not there to play psychiatrist for the woman you want to date. Like the great Doctor Freud once said: “Playing headshrinker for a girl you’re in love with is a bad position to be in.” And he ought to know.

Does Savion have a chance or will he be stuck in the friend zone forever?...