Anxiety - I am having major panic attacks. I live alone and I am so scared. My boyfriend of seven?

My boyfriend of seven years just left me a week ago, so I am even more anxious. He left me in a city (I moved for him) where I don't know anyone. I work from home so I am isolated day and night. My anxiety has turned to hyper focusing on my breathing and not feeling like I can catch my breath or I am doing it right, if that makes any sense. I am in the process of moving back home to be closer to my family, but even that is making me anxious. I feel so lost. Does anyone else live alone? How can I get through this? The nights and first thing in the morning are the worst times. Thank you for your time.

Responses (4)

Hi peaceofwork,I'm very happy that you are moving back to your hometown, that is a good idea. I think you may be depressed, is that a possibility? You sound like you may be. Feeling like that in the morning is a dead give-away. You really need to find a good psychiatrist to help you with some medication, even if you don't want medication you can still be helped by a good shrink.There are medications that will make you feel like your old self again, yet I wonder if your anxiety/depression isn't situational, or have you ever had anything like this before in your life? Ever felt anxious at social gatherings or while alone? Isolating yourself will make it worse, most likely, IF you are normally a social person, as you'll keep focusing upon how you feel, just my opinion.I do hope you seek out a doctor very soon, you can get a referral from your pcp.Good luck and I hope this all blows over quickly,Lara

Hi. Thanks so much for your response. The thing with meds is that I am deathly afraid of them. I have had anxiety in the past, although I feel not this bad. I have tried them all, but had two very bad reactions to one of them, and that just caused me to be very scared to take them, which if you have anxiety already, is not good. Maybe if I lived with someone, I'd have a little more courage trying something, but not being alone like I am. I'd be too scared of another reaction. My depression is situational for the most part. I was in an unhappy relationship, away from family and friends for years, no social life, except for my boyfriend who became increasingly distant, and and in a career I don't particularly enjoy, so imagine. There is a lot going. I think I may have a bit of OCD which explains the obsessing about my breathing.

My heart goes out to you, peaceofwork. Any way you can post the medications you've taken for anxiety or depression?Also your reactions to all of them if you can recall side effects, would be so helpful for others to answer your question. It's not uncommon, when depressed and or anxious (especially anxious) to be a bit obsessive. That's just this girl's opinion though.Do try to list any meds you've tried, it really will help everyone that tries to help you.I hope you are planning that move very soon, is it soon?Lara

Can you go for a walk or go for coffee at a coffee shop just to get you out! I think you are alone too much and that is not helping with the anxiety. It's good that you are heading home to see people you know. Once you are there you will settle and hopefully feel less anxiety.

Thank you, smileyhappy. I think being at home all day and night was my downfall. People are envious of me b/c I work from home, but trust me, when you are anxious and alone with your thoughts, it is NOT a good set up. And to answer the med question, I have been on so many, but I will try to list most of them: Zoloft (worked first time, second time caused insomnia and more anxiety), Celexa (insomnia), Prozac (more anxious), Lexapro (a bit of insomina), Lamictil (dizziness, anxiety, insomnia), Wellbutrin (seizure type activity), Xanax, Lunesta, Klonopin. That is all I remember for now. The Wellbutrin is the one which turned me completely off to meds. Do you blame me?

Hello Peaceofwork. peace is calm, happy, contentment. you are a peacefull person working through a change. Is it possible to have someone from back home to help get you packed and spend a little time with them as you do this? I find when things don't seem normal, do something normal. It gives you back some control. Like clean, or sing, or call a friend. Make a favorite dish or try something you have put aside for these past years. It is all there for you and you never lost the way. All you did is set things aside.

When I broke up with someone a long time ago, I swirled into a depression. I felt as if I would always be alone or making tons of mistakes. I wallowed in self pity and isolated myself even more. A friend was concerned and reminded of an important fact: "I am loveable, found love that was not true. It doesn't change my ability to love and be loved. There will always be someone to love. Give it time and find something to do!" Well, I did have to admit that my fears had gone too far. Saw a therapist and found selfworth, talents were no longer being denigrated, and I did have options to meet new people. Five years later I found my husband. We are married 30 years. I grew a lot living on my own. Became very responsible, solved problems and found that every guy I met I didn't have to date. Desperation was lost.

You really will be found once you love yourself and start exploring those talents and jobs or school you have set aside. Boy did I make mistakes with relationships. Thank goodness I put the time in to find what I was needing to learn.

Panic attacks are a nasty thing. I have had them. Infact, that is how I found this site. Used Xanax regularly until my antidepressant worked and I felt like things will somehow work out. I got happy again. Always we have something to learn. Stopped using it once things settled down. Also found an excellent therapist where I can tell it all and learn what is needed.

Remember one thing: you will be fine. Don't lose that thought. Every day can be different. Wishing you sweet dreams tonight and peace in your heart. You will be fine. Karen

Thank you so much, Karen. This gives me hope. I know I am going through a rough time and just fueling my anxiety with my own fear. I have let things go to the side. I have forgotten about me and let someone else be the center of my world. That never works. I became super dependent on him for my self worth, friendship, and even financially. I was also an independent person, so that never really sat right with me. Now, despite all the anxiety, I have an opportunity to reinvent myself and be independent again. I have my family helping me as much as they can through this being that they are a little far from me right now. As much as I never wanted to move back home, i realized I need my family more regardless of their location.

You go girl! It will get better. Now remember what you have learned. Mommy and Daddy are not to be the support system once you get grounded! Lol. You are a strong lady and know the road to happiness. Enjoy the journey. :-) Karen

Hi - I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out. I had terrible anxiety and get inside home for several years - but had to leave the house to take care of our sick daughter. It's rare that anyone up and moves a large distance away just for a love relationship. Lol! Were things getting really hard in other areas, such as going to the grocery store etc? I found some help with alternative meds plus behavior therapy. It would be a shame to leave all the wonders of living in the city without experiencing it. I think this might be deeper than just your love relationship ending. I hope you can find out why this is happening, so you can embrace your life and have fun!! EJ 23

Hi there. Thanks for your response. I have been living here more than 4 years so I've experienced a lot of the city and surrounding areas since it's a small town. I never made friends here, partly because i am very shy and it's just not easy making friends after a certain age. For now, I want to be close to family. I have actually spent the weekend with them and felt practically no anxiety or the lack of breathing sensation. I know I was already unhappy before the end of my relationship and having anxiety. I am not happy with my life, career, failed relationships, etc. I know this is an opportunity to start over and follow my bliss but i just don't know what that is. yes I do feel nervous going to stores or driving long distances but I still force myself.

Well good - yay! As someone else posted, let family help for now, then look to new friendships for support. Mommy and Daddy can't always be there. You will need to build yourself a good support system. Hey, we all do - it's part of Life! I wish you well - EJ 23