Progressive Guesswork

Description

If you are talking with a person about something where they may know better
than you, then make short statements and test for agreement at each step. This
is better than speaking at length and possibly getting yourself into trouble
when they effectively tell you that you are talking nonsense.

Testing for agreement can be done in a few ways. Firstly, you can directly
ask them, pausing to ask if they agree or understand. For example you can ask
'Is that right?' or 'Does that make sense to you?'

Another approach is to use tag
questions, such as 'The world is round, isn't it?' This offers the chance to
disagree but is largely rhetorical so it will be less likely that you are
challenged here.

A final way of allowing challenge is to pause, giving space for listeners to
interrupt. This can be encouraged by looking directly at them and raising the
eyebrows in an unspoken invitation.

This method can be used to build
rapport when you want to sound
like you understand a person. Just make brief statements about them and listen
to their response. If they disagree, say something like 'of course' or thank
them, perhaps looking a little surprised.

As necessary, use reframing to make it all seem intentional. Then move on,
asserting and testing the next point.

Example

The house should have three bedrooms. Is that enough? And a
big kitchen. ... And a manageable garden ...

She is qualified, isn't she? And she has experience? Then
she is the right person, wouldn't you say?

You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Would this be right for
you? ... You will have a thrilling romance with him. ... Would you like that?

Discussion

By inviting or allowing comment, you let the other person into the
conversation, showing interest and concern for them. This leads them to like you
more and hence reduces the chance of critical challenge.

When you give brief space for questions, many will not challenge either
because it seems impolite or because they cannot think of a response at that
time. Then, having had their chance, they will be less likely to challenge you
in future.

This is an approach that mentalists and 'mystics' may use when reading your
character or foretelling the future. It allows them to make a string of
assertions, discarding those that do not stick and building on those that are
accepted. This gives them much useful information about you. It is also used by
sales people and those who want to quickly build
rapport.