The Guys cut the week short so we could spend some time with our families and develop more material based on them. So, if you’re bored with your perfect family, here’s my gift to you: Newt, frankincense, and sperm … or, the week in review.

It’s hard to say exactly why Newt Gingrich is starting to flag a little, although there are many reasons going to school instead of building iPads or mopping up. Maybe people remember the 1990s better than their ’90s parties indicate. (Dec. 19, 2011)

This guy found a way to pay for porn and make it tax deductible. Fortunately, the FDA is there to squash that dream. (Dec. 20, 2011)

We’re here to kick ass and chew frankincense, and we’re all out of frankincense. (Looks like Jesus is gonna have to settle for a gift card to Kohls this year.) (Dec. 21, 2011)