Beauty

I became a beautician for a reason: to make the world beautiful. I mostly deal in nails, so I’m not quite there yet, but I can’t help but sit in the café, sipping my coffee and thinking longingly about what I’d do to people walking by if I owned a café and they came in, sat down and said ‘make me look fabulous!’.

Oh, the possibilities. But with the way beauty therapy is going, I’m going to need more than a TAFE degree to keep up with the latest tech. Nowadays in Melbourne, cosmetic tattooing is all the rage. We never even learned about that when I was doing my beautician course, either because it was barely a thing or it hadn’t yet reached Australia. And don’t get me wrong: I love it. Gosh, cosmetic eyebrow tattooing…that sounds thrilling to have done and do to someone else!! But right now, I’m just not qualified. Maybe I could learn- I’ve done a lot of that in the job so far- but I don’t know…the whole procedure sounds so permanent, I’d hate to mess it up. Like, sorry honey, you now have eyebrows that look like caterpillars. But we’ll make this one free. See you next time!

I was never that good at the ‘school’ part of school. I was always a girl who got more done by doing, and learning from that. Always got top marks from all my practical exams, not so much when I had to write stuff down. That’d be why I went to TAFE in the first place. I asked Johnny and he said he’s the same: always had to be doing, not so good with writing. And look how he turned out: best coffee shop around for miles. He’s basically a businessman, and all he had to put in was hard work.

I can do it. I know I can. I’ll wrap my head around Melbourne’s new anti wrinkle injections, laser hair removal…and then I can really start making the world a more beautiful place! Just don’t ask me to write stuff.

I don’t often feel the need to dress up too much for work. I mean…I work in a cafe. Sure, I have to look clean and nice, but when I’m making sandwiches and steaming coffee, I don’t want false eyelashes falling in or…I don’t know, my makeup running when it gets too hot. I’ve made that mistake precisely once so far, and it’s not one I’d like to repeat. A simple ponytail, that’s all I need. Please, I’m fabulous enough as I am.

Still, work-life balance gets in the way, as it tends to do…like for Shara’s wedding. I managed to get the afternoon off so I could come to the reception, which worked just fine for me because I don’t really like Shara and the less time spent with her around the better. But I was told there there are places in Melbourne that do eyebrow tattooing, so I wanted to be all over that. Because that’s how it works when you have to be around someone you don’t like: the trick is to look as fabulous as possible to make them look worse by comparison. A tricky thing to ask when the person is all dolled up for their wedding, but I felt like I was up to the challenge. I was confident that my eyebrows were the only thing holding me back, because they’ve always been sort of thin…like, two caterpillars who don’t quite reach each other. I got that eyebrow tattooing and was incredibly happy with the results, but I was told to stay away from heat sources for a while.

Um…well…okay then! Sure! I broke that promise almost instantly. I was in the kitchen for that morning, and it can get pretty hot in there when things are cooking. Fortunately I noticed before I ruined someone’s baguette, but my eyebrows were dripping. See, this is why you should listen to the experts, kids…

I managed to mop myself up and Johnny’s put me on the tables, but the damage was done. All that treatment and I go and ruin it. Oh, and for the rest of the day I looked like the caterpillars had been brutally crushed and had dribbled down the sides of my head. Melbourne’s finest cosmetic tattooing: not even once (if you don’t plan to listen to what they say).