The World's First Goateed Robot Is Unbelievably Creepy

Why is no one asking about the United States' humiliating failure to compete in the robots-with-facial-hair race? Though American scientists were at the forefront of the bearded robot revolution, a new collaboration between the Japanese company Geminoid and Danish professor Henrik Scharfe has produced the first-ever robot with a goatee (to the best of our knowledge). This is Geminoid DK, modeled on Dr. Scharfe. You should be nice! Someday, "barber for robot" will be the only job left for humans. The ones whose bodies aren't being harvested for energy by the global robo-consciousness, that is! [Geminoid DK]