My little man and me

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How do you help a friend who has just found out she has a really bad form of breast cancer and is also going through a messy separation and custody hearing right this instant?!

I have told her I will do anything for her except vomit – never been good with it but improving now I have the little man to deal with when he is sick. I will wash, clean, shop, bake, fold, iron, pick up/drop off her kids to care, take them to the park and absolutely anything else that she may require during this time but I still feel like it may not be enough. I would even go wig shopping with her if she wanted me to.

I’m staying positive when I am with her but feel like crumbling when alone as no one deserves this and especially a mother of two adorable boys who are not even school age. My sister in laws sister (get that?) was diagnosed about 4 years ago when she was breastfeeding her youngest and due to her living in Sydney I didn’t have a lot to do with her but remember hearing the stories from my brother or sister in law.

It is harrowing.

I will stay as strong as possible for her but I’m sure there will be times when we will have a cry together as well which will be good for both of us.

She had a heap of scans on Friday and waiting to get the results this week as well as in court this week to sort out the custody of her kids with her ex. Talk about everything happening at once in her life!!

If anybody out there knows of some great things to do for someone who is ill please let me know or what to take with you whilst you are having chemo etc…. I have some ideas but not sure what is right or wrong on this situation.

I finally got to go and see Monet at the NGV in Melbourne the other Friday night with a girlfriend. We had been talking about it since it first opened and I think we attended the week before it closed!! Nothing like cutting it fine…..

It was a light rainy night in this great city of ours and the queue was longer than I had expected, luckily I had pre booked tickets on line so we were able to ‘jump’ the queue. We decided to have a glass of champers before seeing the exhibition so that we could have a quick catch up and relax before wondering around.

We finally entered the exhibition and we were surprised at the number of paintings there that we had never seen before and how when Monet liked an image he certainly grabbed hold of it and painted a number of paintings on that image. Lily pads were definitely a favourite of his! Mind you they were all slightly different and amazing!! He painted some portraits of his family as well which were interesting as I never knew he had done this.

When he had eye issues his whole style changed from pastels to dark reds/oranges and the brush strokes changed of a light dab feel to strong harsh strokes on the canvas. Ver interesting to see how much his eye sight affected what he saw and how he painted, upon getting glasses that corrected the vision (as much as they could) he was back to painting his pastels and delicate brush strokes.

It was annoying that we couldn’t take photos in the exhibition but totally understandable at the same time.

Instead you have to see some images of Melbourne that I took on the night after we had a bite to eat.

Lovely exhibition and if it is coming to a town near you definitely go and see it.

Late last year I lost my best friend/soul sister and I was devastated and to this day I still have no real reason as to what went wrong between us. I tried to talk to her face to face and she would not come and meet me and in the end wrote me a card telling me why, in a way, as to her decision.

There was a misunderstanding regarding a cot but it was not worth in my opinion of pulling up stumps on a friendship that has spanned for over 20 years and one that had never had any hiccups or bad words ever over this time period.

I had supported her through numerous breakups, an abortion, miscarriages and her recent marriage issues and in return I received the biggest slap to my face by being told it was over and that we had ‘grown apart’.

It sounds like I haven’t moved on and in some respects I haven’t but in other ways I have as there is no point dwelling on something that I know I can never change. I just feel lost without her and the mutual friends we have that also seem to have disengaged themselves from my life.

One mutual friend has been fine and I showed her the letter and she was shocked at what was written to me and that she thought it was a load of crap and something else was going on. She thought the words were very hurtful towards me and couldn’t believe that she had said what she did.

I am writing this post as I read one the other day on lifeloveandhiccups about friendships and I have had this post in my mind for months and finally decided it was time to share.

I think it is more devastating than losing a boyfriend/partner as there were no real signs of the total cut off that was received and how it was delivered.

All I can say is I miss you Honey and wish you all the best and fingers crossed for you and your husband that it all turns out the way you want it to. I miss you terribly and think about you every day of the week. I will move on but it will take me time and the tears I have shed over this are starting to dry which must be a good sign for me at least.

We have been on a few adventures as the little man likes to call them. First off we went to Collingwood Children’s farm with a girlfriend and her daughter. Again a beautiful sunny winter’s day for us to be out in the fresh air. The little man was a bit disappointed as last time we went we had free pony rides and tractor rides; this time neither were on offer.

Duck having a bath 1

Duck having a bath 2

old plough in pigsty

After wondering through the farm and getting up-close and personal with some goats we decided that they had had enough so time to depart. Although the best part for me was seeing Chris Judd there! Pity I hadn’t put the little man’s Carlton jumper on that day as I might have gotten it signed!! He was there with his family enjoying the sun as well.

We also went back to Werribee Zoo to see the animals and go on the safari bus. The little man loves this bus and I have to keep telling him to keep his arms in the windows as they might get bitten off!! Not really but only thing that makes sense to him.

my safari boy

riding a hippo

This is a great zoo for kids around the age of 3.5 as it only takes about two hours to see everything, One hour walking around and seeing the animals in their natural habitat, having a bit of a play on the old ‘wrecked’ boat and digging for dinosaurs in the sandpit. Then onto the safari bus and you are done and dusted around the two hour mark. Home before the tantrums begin or the whinging sets in.

I just realised that I last posted on May 6!! That is nearly two months ago. So much has happened in-between drinks, no I mean posts!

I had a car accident and still don’t have my baby back and I’m hoping it will be here before the end of July but not holding out much hope. I will explain all in another post and pictures as well of the damage.

I have changed jobs and starting to settle into my new job share role with a girlfriend of mine. We work a 5 day fortnight so one week I work 2 days and the following week 3 days. Still trying to get my head around all the new processes and data but seem to be settling in quite well. Again more in another post as I need to start writing again.

More issues with the little man’s father and that is doing my head in. I’m lucky I have the will power to only have 1 glass of wine, when a bottle is open, and not the entire bottle at times!!! A little teaser for you, the little man had gastro the other week and he vomited in his dad’s car on the way to his house. When I arrived to get him the next afternoon waiting on the doorstep for me was the car seat, clothes and Pooh bear all soiled from the vomit the previous night. What sort of parent and step parent doesn’t clean up vomit??? The mind boggles, well mine does anyway.

I’m starting a new exercise training program tomorrow and very excited about that as need to loose the baby weight from nearly 4 years ago. Looking forward to doing something different and for me for a change and I have never seen or heard of this training method but results are meant to good.

Another girlfriend has just told her husband that they are over so trying to be a shoulder for her and some advice of what to do and what to look out for. I don’t have all if any answers for her but can only tell her about my experiences and I was never married!

Keep your eye out for some upcoming posts as I really want to get back into this as it is solace at times for my well being and a venting outlet as well. Although I do try to not do this that often as no one wants to hear about my woes.

Feels good to be taping away at the keys again, hope you enjoy hearing from me again as well.

On Sunday we went off to see Carlton vs Melbourne at the iconic MCG. Catching the train into Richmond station as much easier than driving and we haven’t been on a train in ages so that was a fun element for the little man.

At Richmond station we met up with my friend Bevan, also a Carlton supporter, and the little man was very excited to see him and couldn’t stop jumping on him and running around him like a headless chook. Up to the G we walked all the while the little man talking about nothing of great importance but didn’t want the adults to exclude him. Mind you he was very polite as every time he interrupted he said “excuse me Bevan” and then prattled on about nothing.

We got seats on the bottom stand and we could see Captain Carlton on the boundary line so Bevan wandered down there with the little man and the next thing I could see was Bevan taking a photo and the result is below

First off the little man was thirsty then he was hungry and didn’t want any of the food I had packed for him. I offered hot chips which was met with a resounding yes and I’ll get them with Bevan you stay here scenario. Off they went to purchase some hot chips and the game started.

The little man was not overly interested but clapped with the crowd be it for or against Carlton and at times even yelled out “go Carlton go” which seems to be his catch cry these days.

By mid-way through the second quarter we had hit our limit. It was a late starting game than normal 3.20pm instead of 2.40pm, so I was not surprised by his lack of enthusiasm and attention span of zero. I said we would leave at half time in a minute; mind you there were another 20 odd minutes to this time! Naughty mum, for telling her son a little white lie so that she could stay and see more of the game.

Half time came and we said our farewells and walked back to the station for the train ride home. After waiting in the biting wind on the station the train finally arrived 30 minutes later and we got on and sat near a couple in their 60s. The little man proceeded to talk to them and then made the lady make all these animals from the newspaper! There was an elephant, then a monster, a snail, a snake, a butterfly and finally a dinosaur. Unfortunately I didn’t get any photos of these ‘creatures made from the newspaper’ but it did keep him entertained for the 25 minute ride home. Got to love strangers – at times of course….

On Sunday we met up with a mum and her daughter from mothers group and the kids had a scooter around the council car park as the skate park was occupied with two 6 year olds ‘things’ I didn’t realise 6 year olds were meant to know how to do on a skateboard!! Ignorant I know….

We then heading to the park for a bit where they climbed over everything swung on the swings and slid down the slide. We then realised the little kids had gone so it was our time to hit the skate bowl and see their scootering skills. It was very cute to watch as they both just went around and around the bottom with little rides up the incline, but hey they enjoyed it and that is all as a parent you can ask for.

Then as the weather seemed to get colder by the second we decided it was time to go home. On the way out of the park this is the image we as mums were looking at.

Two beautiful children holding hands as they chatted on the walk home. Too cute for words and melts your heart.