"Overweight" child

I'm not sure how I feel about this. My child came home from school today with a letter saying she was over weight. I am so glad I opened it before she did. I have always struggled with an eating disorder. I have aneroxia- you never over come it. I look at my dd and I do NOT think she is over weight. Yes, she is chunky. She eats healthy. I make sure all of my children do. No, she is not as active as she should be, but she does get plenty of exercise. My question is, how do I handle this? I can't cut out any junk food, because we don't eat any. There are no sodas in our house. She has a dairy allergy, so that is not in her diet. We do not eat out. She does ride her scooter, plays outside, runs and plays. Obesity does run on both dh and my families.

I have 4 children. I have one son that is thin and lean. My other two are average weight. My "overweight" child is 7. I am sad that they labeled her like this- maybe because of my eating disorders and I don't want her to feel insecure about herself. I shared this with my sister and dh. They do not think she is overweight either.

I know this is all over the place. I'm sure there are plenty of grammer and spelling mistakes.

Comments (98)

I like that schools are drawing attention to this but I think it is somewhat reckless as well.

For a non medical person to tell a parent that their child is overweight could have some terrible consequences if the parent isn't given medical advice.

For example, my son is probably 10-15 lbs "overweight". If I got that note home from school and just saw that and didn't research further and tried to get my son to lose weight to his "ideal" weight he would be so unhealthy.

--

Erin

SAHM to 3 boys: P: 10/6/2005, E: 5/6/2008, B: 4/3/2010

"The natural consequence of breaking your arm is having a fucking broken arm" Katoannie

I was a morbidly obese child and still am as an adult. It doesn't mean that I can't do physical activites or had a lack of. When I was a child I did these activites every year I was in elementry school : tap, ballet, jazz, gymnastics, and softball/teeball. Come to find out I have medical issues that make it next to impossible to loose weight. I didn't find these issues out until I was 31.

My older dds are overweight. I am well aware of it. Dh and I are obese. I had an eating disorder in high school, but I must be cured since I am fat??

Anyhow,.I have consulted with the girls' pediatrician. She encouraged them to pay attention to their serving sizes, be more active, and that was it. She said she didn't want them dieting, just to not gain any more weight as they grow taller. My oldest is 4'10" and weighs 110 lbs. Poor kid also has wide hips and already wears a "c" cup. She is 12 and has the hardest time finding clothes.

The pediatrician pointed out that with their genetics, they have a tendency to put on weight and will need to be aware of that. She also noted that dd2 is a thick kid, build-wise. And noted that dd1 has way wide hips. She also told them to eat more veggies!

I am sure they would get notes sent home, but they are homeschooled, so you bet their educator is well aware of their issues. I make them play outside every day, and participate in youth sports. Its taken a few months to get them there, but they actually like playing outside now.

They have been learning about nutrition, vitamins, minerals, and being malnourished. I think many of us don't realize that even though we feed our kids, they can be malnourished because they don't eat the right foods.

Talk with their pedi first. If you can go in once with out your DD there so you can show him the letter and get his/her opinion. Be sure she is checked/tested for anything medical that could be contributing to the weight. Then as a FAMILY get more active, and get on the right healthy eating track. Find activites you all enjoy and can do together. Fun stuff. Remember what it was like to be a kid outside playing all day? How great you felt, how much fun you had, and how it seemed like bed time was always to early because you could just keep playing? Get back to that.

If you have access speak with a nutritionalist as well. They can point you in the right direction to be sure as your improving your meals, that you don't cut down protein too much, and help ensure your getting proper calcium and fiber and other vitamines/minerals your whole family needs.

"This child is female. She is 5'4 and weighed 130lbs at start of school and is now down to 110lbs"

that is NOT obese! It is well within normal weight range. So your gym teacher needs to be slapped upside the head.

OP, your dd is a bit overweight. Her height is right around 50 percentile for her age and weight is 95 percentile or above. Big boned is not an excuse (bones don't weight that much!) and it irritates me when people use that one! Changes don't have to be much to make a big difference. Make sure you stick with natural foods ... cut the dyes, the HFCS, and any artificial sweetners. Fill up on whole grains. From what you posted, it sounds like your dd eats pretty healthy. Watch portions! and cut carbs. My ODD tends to put on weight (my family problem) and I guess around 6 or 7 was when the doctor alerted me to watch her diet because her percentile for weight was creeping up (in fact, right about where your dd is for both height and weight!!!) -- only diet changes we made was to read labels and cut the artificial everything, switch to whole grains and cut out the hydrogentated and partially hydrogenated oils (cutting those oils is hard! You gotta read a lot of labels)

Maybe you can get her into some organized sports like dance or swimming that would help burn energy. I thought I saw you post what activities she does but I can't find it right now (and have to run out to bring my kids money .. they have an hour break in dance today and ODD left the money on the table here!) .... though at 7, even organized sports are a lot of taking turns and standing around ... still, get her in now and in a couple short years they'll be kicking her but. My girls dance. A lot. In younger years, as I said ... a lot of standing around, and taking turns, plus only a couple classes a week. But now ODD is 11 and YDD is 10 and they are each taking around 12 classes a week, plus ODD is in acting classes and school play ... we rarely get to sit home. Honestly, playing outside for hours would be much better ... as a child I was outside in the woods any time I wasn't in school! BUT - I live in a developement now with no trees to climb or streams to catch salamanders in, and a town of paranoid helicopter moms who won't let their kids outside to play without supervision. And then there is the other end where middle and high school kids are alone all afternoon and out causing trouble (those are the ones that I worry about my kids running into.) That's why I let my kids submerge themselves into dance. Gets them out and with other kids. Children need a lot of excercise!

Anyway - this is a PERFECT age for you to make changes for your dd. As I said, that was about the age I became aware my ODD was heading toward a weight problem. Your dd is about to hit some big growth spurts, so don't try to lose weight (though my dd dropped 5 pounds with our diet changes, without even trying!) but try and hold her weight steady for a bit. She'll grow into it. Sadly, my dd still thinks she's fat though... she's 57" and 90 pounds which puts her at 50 percentil for height and weight ... but somehow there seems to be a lot of really thin girls around and dd feels fat. She's not! She does have more muscular legs (another trait from my family ... we tend to bulk up muscle) but not fat at all! But her bff is the same height as her and weighs maybe 70 pounds, and my YDD is built small and for some silly reason it's only those kids that dd notices ... plus she doen't believe me that girls lie about their weight ... half the kids telling her that they weight 75 pounds are closer to 100.

anyway - gotta run - good luck to you and your dd! read those lables, and get her out more!

^I was still tripping on marmaladema's story this morning. I can't believe that toolbag is still employed. If that shit happened to MY kid, I would be shitting lawsuit and damnation all over that place.

Sometimes kids become a little chunky right before a growth spurt. My ds got a letter like that home when he was in middle school. It was right before he started getting taller. He's now tall and thin - you'd never know that at one time he was chunky.

my pedi says that they are each growing "on their curve" - meaning if they are 75% height and 75% weight (meaning taller than and way more than other girls their age) thats it not like all the sudden they were in the 20th % and now they are over 100%. He said he'd also have issue if they were at 25% height but 100% weight.

So one of two things will solve the perceived "issue." Either your dd has to get taller or she has to weigh less. I say eat healthy, stay active...and wait. She'll grow taller! Thats a lot easier than putting your dd on a "diet."

I only read the first 2-3 pages, and i'm sorry if this sounds rude or if I repeat anyone's advice, but based on your dd's height and weight I would be very concerned. my 5 yr old dd is 46 inches and 42 lbs,and my 9 yr old dd is about 56 inches tall and around 65-70 lbs. I would be seeing my pediatirician or a nutrionist asap before her weight gets more out of control.

What is the school district doing assessing your child medically in the first place? They're paid to teach kids academics, period. Last time I checked, our public school system was 20th among industrialized nations so how about the schools just concentrate on what they're paid to do. Those are enrollment papers, not adoption papers, after all. Is there anything the government doesn't think is their business?