Isolated. Alone. Misunderstood. Unloved. Depressed. Teens and young adults are suffering all over the world. I hear and feel you; I know your struggle to find a place to ‘be’ that is safe. I see it the emo movement, which is now quite prevalent even in middle school life, and by the angst on fb and other web posts. Many energetic forces are working against you, so the more knowledge you have, the better your chances of rising above and into a more peaceful and happy state.

There are many universal forces out there, all about – this is a time of great upheaval and move towards a new state of being. There are many biblical references coming to pass, as well as other ancient visions being realized. The current way is life is no longer working energetically, and Gaia and those within her are pushing towards a new dimension. This is not the time to be afraid, it is a time to be aware, and to begin researching the wonderful, diverse, and exciting possibilities. The more tools you have in your holistic tool belt, the better your life experiences, and the more you can manifest the life that deserve.

I would like to do some articles on different modalities of healing work – an introduction to the rich and vastly different way that energy and light workers offer assistance in this chaotic time. Many of you do not have access to this ancient, yet valuable knowledge, so I feel led to share some of my friends and colleagues with you. If you would like to recommend a modality for me to research, or know someone who has helped you holistically, please let me know. I’d love to write about it. So, be on the look out for a sprinkling of these wonderful facilitators between my other articles on well-being and finding the best mate for you.

The supernatural is discussed in almost every book forum across the world; it is no secret that people are fascinated by what dwells ‘across the veil’. Spirits, sprites, angels, ghosts, demons, animal spirits, the fae, Greek gods, vampires, were wolves – we make these fiction authors millionaires.

As a medicine woman, I see, feel and hear all of these energies, and am amazed; constantly, that the same people who devour these fictional works are terrified to experience them in reality. Whether or not you choose to accept it doesn’t mean these creatures are not living, moving and existing near and right there with you. Now. As you read this post or watch that new episode of ‘Supernatural’ or VC.

I have paid attention to this wave, an insurgence of new age fumbling with the old, ancient texts, language, spells and incantations spun in shadow and with only half truths for guidance. There are careless experiences with Ouija and voodoo, an overall lack of respect for plant medicine, the irreverent use of animal remains, tooth, feather or bone. The lack of love for Nature, the four directions, our Earth Mother, even the air divas, as well as total ignorance in working with the animal kingdom is painfully adding to the daily destruction of the world, and our life, as we have known it.

I hear and see that many talk of being ‘seekers’, yet there is little action. I watch people ‘playing’ with crystals, bragging about spells they’ve learned or done, or how someone is looking for a teacher. Yet, when someone appears, they run the other way, or when a valid reader tells a client personal things and gives honest, earned knowledge to help the client heal and improve his/her life, why is it neither followed nor appreciated?

The integrity and honor of this work is a sacred calling; it did not manifest overnight. When I ‘take’ the pain, it is exactly that; I am transmuting pain, disease, heartache, the entity, miasm, tumor, or cyst and pulling it from your tissue, and releasing it through years of knowledge, experiential study, channeling, and prayer. I always carry it from your energy through mine, and then outward, to the Universal flow. It takes great skill and years of practice to keep these higher vibrations from settling in my body or making me sick, and the work does take its toll over time. You can learn that these pains are lessened through dietary choices, meditation, water, and a move to a less carbon diet. The more raw, plant based food you ingest with love, the better, especially things you grow yourself.

Never underestimate the intimacy and love that flows from plant to owner, especially over time. Plants have a huge capacity for unconditional love, and give of themselves that we may live, in harmony with humans as long as we continue to create or re-discover our connection to the natural world. Plants dance, feel, and even think, with sensitive systems that are more highly developed than our own. The Creator has given us a cure for every disease from the plant pharmacopeia, and it is our duty to curate, protect and resonate with the natural world, both plant and animal.

Once you begin to see the value of these esoteric connections, and learn about how we strengthen these bonds, we are then more able to see clearly the true value of the other humans around us, as well. We become more sensitive to the inner workings of the opposite sex, and can begin to communicate without words, but with the harnessing of energy.

We sense when the other is near, or in danger, or thinking of us. We can prolong or bring on the orgasm of the other or ourselves, and learn ways to intensify the pleasure of both of you with guided imagery and energetic exchange, strengthening the bonds of intimacy, pleasure and connection over time, instead of drifting apart. Through guided meditation, partner work, reiki, Native American healing and other forms of energy work, connections between the spiritual and physical body are developed, strengthened; pulling your authentic self back together, giving you a new view of life. There is a stronger desire to live, a more positive outlook, better health, and vigorous, passionate love relations that are mind blowing.

There is expansive, priceless and much sought after knowledge to be found in taking time to study and reflect on the old way of doing things. The brief pleasure of instant gratification is forgotten once one is saturated in the lasting glow of a developed practice that is mastered over time, with respect and in following sacred principles from the ancient ones.

It is becoming more difficult to find that special someone, but have faith – you can!

I wrote in an earlier post about how it is crucial to get beyond the looks of an individual, http://bitylink.info/tg45, as daydreaming is a dangerous trap in the beginning of the ‘getting to know’ phase.

After reading scores of online articles that were either designed to sell a product or just offer bad advice, I’ve come up with five secrets to finding the best type of person for your individual life style, whether a male or female.

You must get out of ‘the box’.

Once we hit our 30’s, it feels dangerous to veer from our daily routine, as this gives a single person presumed stability and safety. However, this is most likely why you aresingle. Going to different grocery stores, eating at new restaurants, walking on different tracks, or even walking indoors, like local malls or museums can get you in the vicinity of other singles. Think up new ways to help with old issues. For example, men can decrease impotency by 50% if they take up a low level weekly exercise like gardening! There are ways to become healthier in the natural world. Try something new!

2. Volunteer.

If you’ve always admired long-distant walkers or biking, volunteer at a local 10-k run or tough mudder, for example. Showing interest in the contestants can lead to interesting conversations, advice, and perhaps more.

Studies have shown that when a person can share his/her passion, it improves self-esteem and builds stronger relationships. Volunteer to help on your child’s sport team or after school activities, or the Special Olympics. Even if you’re not a sport pro, you can offer support from the side lines, help with snack and fund raisers, and meet other single parents.

If you’re an animal lover, help out at the local shelter, or equine therapy stable. There are many groups that help rescue certain dog breeds or neglected horses, for example.

3. Be more open-minded.

This has tremendous potential for finding a lasting love. Be willing to learn about a few things potential dates enjoy that you DON’T like, so you can find commonality. The more giving you are to participate in something because it pleases the other (as long as it doesn’t demean you), then more bonds are being created that draw you to each other. If the local mechanic has potential, ask him to come out and explain how he fixed the issue, perhaps getting him to show you what he did to your car. You can learn something and get closer to him. Men LOVE and NEED to have authority when they can.

If you think Amelia in the next cubicle is the ‘one’, and you find out she rushes from work to make the hot yoga class at 6, do a little research and start asking her how has bikram yoga helped her focus and breathing because you have trouble staying on task, for example. Find ways to be authentic and get to know the genuine side of the one on your mind.

4. Learn something new about your dating demographic.

Everyone knows you don’t go to a dance club if you want to find someone who’s ready to settle down, or you should start a new hobby to find someone with similar interests, but that doesn’t always help. It may just help you find more friends. Sigh.If you’ve had a difficult time finding worthwhile dating material, learn more about the type of person you wish to attract. A suggestion –

Although many people may find it hokie, there is a deep and ancient importance in learning about your astrological sign, either the strengths and weaknesses of your zodiac or from the Native American wheel’s earth sign. By studying about our polarity sign, our opposites, as well as our compatible signs, we can gain valuable insights into what makes us tick, and what we are truly looking for in a great match.

For example, if material items are not important to you, but you want a lover who will be reliable, trustworthy and family oriented, then a Cancer can be a great match. However, you must consider if you will be too bored after a time, and need lots of stimulation mentally, and new scenery. Then, a Cancer may cause long-term issues for you, especially if you are an Aquarius. I, however, loved having my opposite most f the time, but had to work hard at my male Cancer’s insecurities over the years. At the very least, it is interesting to consider the underlying desires and drives of the potential dates around you by researching this a little.

5. Make sure to give yourself quiet time to unwind each day.

Being single can bring on feelings of sad or loneliness, and we often fill our lives to overflowing so we don’t notice them so much. However, when we take time to reflect on our daily events, still the mind in relaxation by listening to quiet music or short nature walks, our stress levels lower, and our heart rate and breathing become more natural and healthy. Walking is also crucial for bowel health, which means feeling more comfortable and keeping disease at bay.

The more you are willing to open your mind and give new things a chance, the better your opportunities at finding the perfect fit for you. There is hope!

Money may be harder to come by, ‘things’ may be a strain to purchase, yet it is crucial to bless that which we DO have, continuing those blessings and the more to come.

One example of this is in the cooking ceremony, and something like old-fashioned cheese grits is the prefect way to send love to yourself and those in your household.

Old fashioned, stone ground flours/meals are a highly vibrant addition to the overworked American diet.

For my breakfast this morning, as snow whirls around and wind rattles the tin-roof barn, I set aside fifteen minutes to use this coarse, yellow corn stone ground grits from a little mill in NC from 1896.

I imagine the stone turning, the gears cranking, dust motes dancing between sun stripes and shadow in the old mills I’ve visited in my past, in both NC, MD and PA. They are amazing structures; the old cranks, belts and gears humming from water to wheel, while I stand over the little simmering pot of my own four serving breakfast.

Shaking my Himalayan salt through the steam, cutting a pat of butter to slide around between white and yellow grains, I know I am sharing love and energy with all the other ‘simple’ folks who bought and are buying these products since the 1800’s, or even before, depending on which mill you order from.

I give thanks for whatever’s on my mind at this moment; asking for blessings for my family, thinking warm, loving thoughts for those whose bellies will be warmed by this gentle respite from over due bills, school tests, bullies in the halls, job searching…

In this moment it is me, Creator, and the energy of our ancient friend corn who has fed our ancestors , since around 7,500 BC. A little leaf of bay adds to the salt, butter, and sprinkling of ground black peppercorns. 1/4 c. grits per 1 c. of water, and grated cheese to taste (we like to ‘taste’, so 1/2c. sharp cheese at the end of cooking 3/4c grits).

I hold the little steaming bowl in my hands, letting the warmth caress my face, and just give thanks to a loving Creator, and send love outwards to those that may need it, wherever they live, whatever their situation.

Take a little time, and you can find a mill (grist and/or roller) in your own area to patron. Children of all ages are fascinated by the old technology, and the history, as well. It is well worth the drive to visit one for the day.

Be brave and try some today, starting with this easy and yummy recipe.

Butternut Squash Soup

2 – average sized butternut squash

6 -8 c. chicken or vegetable broth

3 garlic cloves

¼ c. thinly chopped onion

Cayenne flakes to taste, about ½ t.

½ t. cinnamon and nutmeg to sprinkle on soup before serving

2 TBL. butter

1 TBL. sea salt

Pre-heat oven – 350 degrees

sauce pan, cookie sheet

————–

With care, cut squashes in half, and place on cookie sheet.

Add 1/2 c. water to cookie sheet. Let cook about one hour, until tender. Add more water as needed so it doesn’t dry out.

De-seed squashes, scrape out meat, and put meat in the blender. Add to that 4 of the 6. c of broth. Pulse until well-blended. Add in the cayenne and last 2 c. and pulse until well-blended. Add more broth as needed to thin to your desired consistently.

Warm sauce pan and add butter. As it melts, add garlic and onion, stirring until tender.

Add the blended mixture to the pan, and stir until warm and steamy, about 4 minutes.

The cold and flu season is upon us, but it doesn’t have to get you down.

Here are some simple, but worthwhile tips for keeping both you and your loved ones healthy and vibrant- super-charged and congestion free!

Buy a diffuser, which simply has a gentle heat source and a water chamber where you add a few drops of your favorite anti-bacterial essential oil. Lavender, Thieves, cinnamon, myrrh, and oregano are great ideas! Many warming foods are also aphrodisiacs, and can help spice up your love life – ginger, garlic, cayenne are top choices!

Add a good quality apple-cider vinegar several times a week, by dabbling on fresh salads, or adding 2 Tbl. To 10 ounces of juice in the a.m. it assists the bowels, helps cut down congestion, is full of nutrients, and helps alkaline the pH, keeping bacteria and germs at bay. It also helps one lose weight.

Invest in a Ninja processor/blender. It is the easiest way I’ve ever seen to get the full benefit of raw foods with little waste. The smoothie texture is a big draw to get kids to try it, too! If you’re new to this, try a Hamilton Beach juicer or blender. I have used both, and now use the Ninja. The travel cup size is a life save for the high speed, travelling person! Both are also on sale at Wal-Mart.

Our lives are hectic, stressful; depleting us of much needed vitamins, minerals and energy. It is crucial to our well-being, this ability to be fully present and in the moment by incorporating live food to our tables. Being vibrant, joyful, aware and energetic draws those types of relationships to us, allowing more endurance for more fulfilling sexual intimacy, complete health, and a vigor for life in general. Foods like this are also calming and aid the person with autism, who often has digestive issues.

Store bought yogurt is nothing compared to live, fresh yogurt, but it does have some beneficial cultures when you aren’t near the farm. It is helpful to get the highest quality yogurt you can afford, plain organic is best. I will soon be adding recipes that add life to your food, such as adding buttermilk to your yogurt, and making panir at home.

Making your own tzatziki is an excellent, easy way to add important supplements to your daily diet. I made this, and ate it from a spoon all day long in addition to my weekly juice for my GERD and ulcers. Cucumber and lemon are very beneficial to an overworked system, and aid in weight loss.

Recipe –
2 c. plain yogurt (drained in cheese cloth for at least 3 hours)in sieve in a cool place 1 medium cucumber 1 tbl. fresh lemon juice
1 t. salt 1/4 t. coarsely ground black pepper 2 t. olive oil 1 tbl. chopped fresh parsley (1/4 t. yellow asafoetida powder)
Semi-peel the cucumber, leaving a little of the green underskin. Slit in half, and scoop out seeds. Grate coarsely, then use a paper towel to remove excess liquid. Put drained yogurt in a bowl, adding the other ingredients, except oil and asaf. powder, if you are using this fragrant seasoning. Otherwise, mix the oil in, as well, chill and then serve. You can put the oil in a pan, warming, and then adding the yellow asaf. until it emits its lovely scent. Quickly remove from the heat, and mix all together. Chill for several hours.

In my quest to be gluten-free (or GMO free), and move towards a completely vegan lifestyle, I will be sharing my experiences with you on the recipes, as well as the results for my family and myself.

As a medicine woman who works with people having both very serious emotional and physical illness, it is crucial that I keep the mHZ of my organs and body as far above 90 as possible, as most of our organs require that level of energy to stay well. The fresher, more raw the food, the higher the energy that we ingest. Avoiding meat as much as possible has many positive ramifications, as well as is an ethical obligation due to the way the majority of our meat makes its way to our table. From an energetic standpoint, the move away from the dense, dead tissue is paramount for intuitives and healers, or those that care to evolve.

(I am curious as to how to bake without eggs, so will keep searching for that remedy)

I want this transition to be as peaceful as possible, and with an 85 year old mother and two teen boys, changing diets can be like pulling teeth. I incorporate as much fun stuff as I can, and yesterday was one of those days. We made mini-doughnuts, gluten-free and chocolate!, which were really yummy and not greasy(no deep fried cholesterol) as we steamed them in a doughnut cooker like a waffle iron, but with holes for the batter. It was a great find! You can also use this as waffle batter, it should make 8 waffle sections. Baking pans for doughnuts are also an option.

I always mix my fats and sugars first; hand mixing if using a liquid oil.

(In a separate bowl, I presift all of my dry ingredients together. Sifting is essential to well-blended dry ingredients. )

Next, I stir in pre-whisked eggs with my fats/sugars, and then add the coffee, as well as the other liquids, whisking more to combine.

Then, slowly add the above to the dry, sifted ingredients, until just combined. Fill your waffle iron or doughnut cups, and wait for the green ‘ready’ light to come on. Silvana uses doughnut baking pans, so she heats the oven to 350 and checks with a toothpick to test doneness, about 18 minutes.

I then rolled mine in a mixture of 1/4 c. cocoa sifted with 1/2 c. of confectioner’s sugar, but Silvana makes a glaze by stirring together 1/4 c. of boiling water with 6 oz. of Ghirardelli chopped semisweet chocolate. When melted, she added 2-1/4 c. confectioner’s sugar, with 1-1/2 tbl. of corn syrup and 1 t. pure vanilla extract, stirring until smooth.

We’ve come a long way from the paper cut outs in elementary school, but the excitement is still there…

Valentine’s Day; hearts aflutter, tin-foil Cupids dangling from a string tacked to the ceiling, the wonder and anticipation of the anonymous gift left on your desk, the potential text from an old flame, the hope that someone will start a conversation on your online dating profile… …and then the anxiety and sadness that no one will.

Being single again, especially as a single mom, can be a difficult and trying time. The older we get, the slimmer the pickings from the ‘ole gene pool. We often long for a connection, the closeness of snuggling together on the couch, waking up with another’s arm around you, listening to the slow, comfortable breath of another beside you in the waning hours of night.

Being alone and feeling OK about it is quite difficult for some, especially for those for whom a past love has passed on, or the other’s feelings drastically changed after a long relationship. We long to find ways to patch up the hole quickly and easily. However, finding a fulfilling and rewarding relationship can be difficult at this time. When you are single, but wanting to be in a relationship more than anything, even if you are not currently having sex, it does not make you celibate. Your goal is to find another guy, preferably super hot, rich and totally into you so you can settle down and be happy together. The intention is to have sex; deliciously steamy, prolonged and erotic, as much of it as you can get. I am not blaming you, by any means; sex between two consenting, like-minded individuals is a dream come true in certain situations.

Whether you are in a committed relationship, or if you both are looking for a NSA, clear communication and honesty make all the difference. What messes most dating potential up is the lack thereof. I have shared quite a few of my personal past dating experiences with you in these posts, some of which I had to delete, as my occasional foray into the erotic side of humanity upset some poor soul who felt my blog was only for ‘mature’ audiences. Therefore, the best segments were deleted so that I could get full use of tags, etc. So, if you are new to this blog, you can’t see just how much I have enjoyed the single again life in that respect, at times.

On the other side of the coin is the strong desire to express unconditional love of my self by taking quiet time away from the noise and clutter of ‘needing’ a man, or ‘wanting’ this guy or that one due to his hot looks or his persuasive texts, or just craving some hot sex and to be held afterwards.

When I take time to separate myself from the confluxes of text messages from five different PD’s(potential dates) a day, pick up texts from younger guys looking for a ‘cougar’ or a ‘mother figure’, and come to peace with the fact that I am currently alone because I haven’t yet found a mate that meets or excels my current requirements, I can then come to a place of quiet surrender with my existence. This is complete free will, not self-imposed isolation, and can be revoked at any time. What is the value of this, you ask?

If you can take a ‘break’ from this almost addicting need to find the ‘other’, searching under every rock and around every corner in the hopes you will bump into him or her, you may find that there is deep and satisfying gratification in taking time to fully explore ways to develop past talents that were thrown to the side while you furthered your first love’s career, take up new hobbies that you would not have been brave enough to try because a past date didn’t ‘approve’ or ‘enjoy’, and actually start to prioritize and nurture self-development. When you can take a step back from the obsession to do something to be the ‘right’ one for an ‘ex’ or even a PD, you may actually begin to enjoy life more.

Time with friends become more precious, you find the beauty in things forgotten, and actually experience a deepening and acute awareness of your senses when they are aroused because you aren’t inundated with constant stimuli.

Take a little time to read books by any of the Tibetan monks, whom many of us thought didn’t feel or experience sensually. You would be quite surprised to read some of the more personal memoirs they give after being released from prison. They expressed just how more in tune they were with emotions and feeling, having deep experiences once they were freed from their torture and allowed to live freely.

Time to yourself is crucial if you wish to develop in a way that will draw a strong, mature catch to your net. It is difficult to get quiet and let your heart speak, especially if you are a survivor of deep trauma and/or abuse. However, you must go here if you wish to attract that special ‘other’. As long as you have open emotional wounds, other people will be drawn to you with the same issues, as well as predators who can feel those weaknesses, taking advantage of your needs because they will be hard to hide.

Taking a break to be celibate because you are not desperate to find a way to make each one you meet be the ‘one’allows you to take an interested distance in getting to know someone. There is no hurry, no reason to come off as ‘needy’. You don’t have to make the date work, don’t have to pretend to like someone that obviously isn’t a good match. You know there is plenty of time, and the right one is out there. No hurry. No push. Just go easy, and walk away if it doesn’t feel right.

Remind yourself that there are 100 more where that one came from; because there ARE.

As an aside – I love gardening; especially flowering plants of beauty. My husband would always bring me lovely bouquets of flowers on my birthday and Valentine’s because he appreciated this about me. Since his wrongful imprisonment, I have not received any flowers for over three years. I have a wonderful friend that’s like a sister to me; we have known each other over 19 years. She knew I was saddened by my struggle to have my husband released, and on my birthday, out of the blue, she sent me a bouquet of flowers. I was so taken aback that it made me cry.

Because of my choice to be celibate these past several months the flowers were like special creations of the finest Japanese silk; the roses tight and full of soft petals, the iridescence of the creamy white Asian lilies emanated the most decadent and lovely scent that I hadn’t smelled in a long time. It touched me to the core of my soul to receive this gift, more than she could know. It reminded me of happier times, peaceful and loving memories, and the love of a kind, dear friend who understands that being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely.