Frozen in time!

At times you find yourself lost in deep contemplation, reminiscing the days gone by and you’re struck by a disconcerting sense of realisation of how far you’ve come. However, in reality all that you’ve travelled is time, traversing from your past to your unsettling present. Even at that, the rude reality is that your time passed you by, like the rest of the world while you stood frozen in time and now you lie interred in the icy depths of the grave of your broken dreams that you laid to rest with your own bare hands.

The weight of your failures holding you back and the stifling regret over things you didn’t do or the chances you didn’t take, brazenly stares you down, etched on the tombstone that stands over your heavy, heaving chest with your pacing heart resting underneath, tired of running from the reality of your wizened and gnarly present that you failed to envisage while living your past…resultent, you’re still living in your past while the world moved on with time into the present.

The world measures your accomplishments and success in terms of the milestones covered. Right from the time you utter your first fumbling words in your infancy to the first step you take in your toddlerhood to your high school graduation, first prom date, College passing out, first job, first promotion, car, house, marriage, kids and so on.

But there are many who run pass some of these milestones or find themselves stuck between two. No matter how hard they try to move ahead but their feet just won’t budge as they find themselves anchored to the present that turns into their past within a moment. With every fleeting moment and flailing movement of their arms, they sink deeper and deeper into their past as it swallows them alive like quicksand. All that’s left is the wraith as they vehemently brandish their arms in the air in their last feeble attempt to rescue themselves from their own past.

During the course of our journey of life, we all arrive at a point where we find ourselves stuck and no matter how hard we try to muscle our way through our failures, we just won’t budge. We stand there watching others pass us by and achieve different milestones in life while some of these milestones seem to have passed us along with our life while we stood there watching helplessly in despair.

I had posted this poem along with a picture of me on Instagram for a #throwbackthursday where you post an image from your past. Looking at myself in this picture made me realise how little I had achieved from the time this picture was taken to the day I was posting it on Instagram.

This overwhelming sense of failure or lack of accomplishment inspired me to write these few verses to articulate my fragmented thoughts over a “broken” past. And while I was writing this post on Instagram, I was hit by a reassuring sense of repose and solace that made me realise that although I may have not made tangible accomplishments or achieved material success, I have instead gained knowledge and wisdom and learning from my own failures which may not come to those who have never failed in their lives.

Those who acquire wealth and success easily in life find themselves struggling the most to get a handle over it. Easy money turns a prude to profligate; a prodigal of sorts. But those who have yearned for success have learned how to deal with it when it comes to them and keep their feet just as anchored to the earth as they were, while writhing in their failures.

As you stare broodingly at the wrinkled pages of your empty life, with your dampened gaze wading through the vacant lines, the unnerving emptiness apprises you of the fact that you couldn’t cover much miles in terms of the distance travelled from your past to the present.

The lonesome blot of ink stares you back jeeringly, reminding you of where you started, where you stand; frozen in time.

But you stare back with a stronger resolve and determination, drawing motivation from that peevish “blot” turning it into a starting point for your onward journey and a prelude to a successful future.

The ink glides through the wrinkled pages, filling in the vacant lines as you’re no longer stuck. The fire in your belly and the heat of your penetrating gaze melts away the icy grave while you storm ahead leaving the past behind and making up for lost time as you find yourself no longer, frozen in time!

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2 thoughts on “Frozen in time!”

Very expressive.The past always haunts.Too many regrets and unaccomplished goals.Very few are happy with what they achieve .So often I am reminded about Robert Frost’s poem….The Road Not Taken .Are we happy with our decisions and choices in life ? I really liked your post it stirred a lot .you write very well.

Thank so much. Not just for liking and commenting on the post but also for taking the time to read it. You’re right to say that just a lucky few are completely content and at peace with their life and life choices. Most are either haunted by the consequences of the wrong choices they made or the fact they couldn’t make any choice at all and the opportunity passed them by. I guess we all find ourselves in such a sticky situation at some point or the other. I’m sure the poet you referred to is a wonderful artist, however it embarrasses me to say that I’m not really aware of him or his work. I don’t claim to be a well read , erudite person or a Lit major! Hence, I refrain from calling myself a writer. I’m just a story teller and writing happens to be my medium that I’m trying to master. Reading works from refined writers like yourself sure helps. And a compliment, appreciation or an advise coming from a well worded and a well rounded person like you means a lot. So thanks once again and a hundred time over!