3 Struggles of the INFJ Idealist

Most INFJs have an
idealistic view on the world. Not only do we notice everything, but we also see
it through the eyes of an idealist. However, this is not an advantage all the
time. In some instances, it can be a huge struggle for INFJs to perceive the world
as we do. It can be pretty overwhelming actually.

Seeing the world through the eyes of an INFJ

Those of you who have
followed me for some time and read my articles know that I’m a hardcore
idealist. No matter what bad things are happening in the outside world, I’m an
eternal believer that good always prevails. Which is why I sometimes face an
inner struggle only INFJs understand.

Because I see the world through the eyes of an idealist, I’m more likely to
feel disappointed by the actions of others. If I see someone asking for food on
the street (this is what happened yesterday), my immediate reaction is to go to
the nearest bakery and buy a couple of meals. But not everyone thinks like
that.

Also, being a protector, I believe that everyone is good and kind by default. This way of thinking caused me many sleepless nights when facing reality. As much as I love my idealistic INFJ nature, it gives me headaches sometimes.

That’s why I’ll share 3 main struggles an INFJ idealist faces, and hope they will help you better understand this phenomenon that is unique to INFJs.

3 struggles of the INFJ idealist

1. We see the world how we are.

I deliberately put this as a struggle because not everyone has your heart my INFJ friend. Few do, actually. When we look on external events and people, we create this idealistic trait that often makes us feel lonely and misunderstood. Our eyes see all, but they also cry a lot when they do.

2. Loneliness is amplified tenfold.

INFJs already feel lonely as it is. So, when you expect others to have the same levels of empathy and desire for feedback as you do, the result can be terrible. Our personality is prone to anxiety, and to a feeling you’re probably all too familiar with: Not belonging anywhere. Our loneliness is increased to a level where even the support of our loved ones is disregarded.

3. Withdrawing into isolation.

Don’t get me wrong, we love our alone time as all introverts do. But when our inner INFJ idealist feels upset by everything wrong going on around us, withdrawing to an unhealthy isolation as a protection becomes all too real. Our communication is reduced to a bare minimum, and we lose the will interact with people all together.

All the struggles I wrote
here, as scary as they may sound, are real for the rarest personality type. But
that doesn’t mean they are permanent. You can overcome them.

Being an INFJ idealist is a gift, not a curse

No matter how many times
you feel disappointed or saddened by what you notice, every emotion is better
than indifference. I always say that I would rather feel all the sadness of
this world and experience happiness afterwards, than not feel anything at all.

It’s not in our INFJ nature not to be idealists. Regardless of how much sh*t is
happening, you keep being you. There is enough negativity as it is, so be the
one who will spread that sparkle of positivity. You will be outnumbered, but
hey, quality over quantity, right? J

If you ever hear that being an INFJ idealist is a curse, remember this:

It
takes only a small ray of light to pierce a well of darkness.

Keep shinning my dear
INFJs, even when it’s hard and challenging. You won’t have the support of
everyone, but that’s okay, we don’t like big crowds anyway. 😉

A Safe Space for all INFJs

We understand how difficult it can be to be an idealist. This is exactly why there’s an entire community of INFJs here waiting for you to sign up!

I really enjoyed reading this. One thing I have found is that so many people appreciate my “positivity.” I always have a smile and laugh easily. Life is really hard, but I find that there is ALWAYS some good – even if it just the sun piercing the clouds after a rainy day.

I love being an INFJ – I have found my place and a few close friends who encourage me to live this amazing life.

Thank you for your thoughts. I always enjoy them, and learn from them.

I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed reading the article Rebecca, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. 🙂 I agree with you, there’s always good to be found behind every smile. 🙂 So wonderful to hear you love being an INFJ, you are so welcome!

Really appreciate this article Marko! You’re spot on with how INFJs feel. It can be a struggle to be able to see everything how it “could” be instead of how it is. But it’s a gift to be such a visionary and to be able to see the possibility for improvement in everything and everyone!

Thanks for your article, Marko! I’ve always been so sensitive and empathetic since childhood and I’m in my 50’s now. It’s taken until my late 40’s to discover that I’m an IFNJ and HSP, and though rare, knowing that there are other people like me and that there is nothing “wrong” with me helps!! In fact, I like knowing that I am a rare type! The negatives are really hard. I have struggled with clinical depression for many years, generalized anxiety disorders and social phobias. Feeling the pains of other people and the world’s problems in general is so overwhelming especially when I’m at a very low point of depression, that it can make me not want to live (rare to be that low…) But I always pull out of that because of my faith in God and self-care I have learned. I am extremely sensitive about animals and hearing or reading even just headlines about animal cruelty upsets me so much, that I cry as if it happened to my animal, and I feel that I hate people, but I know there are good people who do good for animals… Sometimes I almost have to ‘numb’ myself emotionally to animal stories because I cannot handle the pain. I care about humans, too, of course, but I can’t help that I’m even more sensitive over animal cruelty. Maybe it’s their vulnerability and innocence?