Tuesday, May 10, 2011

tortorici, italy

So Narm has been gone now, what five, six days? By this time he has grown fatter on some of the best food in the world, drunker on some exceptional wines, and awash in the progressive, sunsplashed, and naked atmosphere of Italy with his darling/hummingbird wife.

What this really means is that he is stumbling down a topless beach, arms outstretched to gain balance. And the all of the onlookers are screaming bloody murder about some fuzzy American bear terrorizing all of the naked chicks, offering to apply suntan lotion. And the “Polizia” are definitely on their way.

So there's that.

But what really matters is this blog. This blog that he so tenderly tends to/occasionally neglects. It's like the bonsai tree that Mr. Myagi would have had if they ever made a “Karate Kid VIII”. You know, the sequel they would have already made if they would just listen my idea of JUST KEEP MAKING SEQUELS.

Ahem.

But they let a few original scripts get through (uh, duh, “Thor”) and so now there's no “Karate Kid VI: Karate Kid Goes to Sri Lanka” and there's no Bonsai tree, and there's nothing good, and Narm left this blog in my hands. Which is kinda like leaving a piece of cake in the hands of a fat kid, right before dinner.

Omnarmnarm?

But like a fat kid after Bariatric surgery, I'm stuck feasting on lemon rinds and raisin skins. Fats McGee has no room left at the inn for this slice of Internet pie. So I'm going to wait till nobody is looking, slide this thing back under the cake server, (and by that I mean his iBook, which he left on his coffee table, which is in his living room, which is at 1405 Westwood Ave, Lakewood, OH, 44107).

(You know, for the fans, And if...if you wanna check out his place. Ummm, keep an eye on it. While he's gone.)

And I'm just going to wait till he comes/is deported home to take care of this little pet pine tree. Because then you'll hear about what an amazing time he had.