Thursday, May 16, 2013

Sky Rockets in Flight! Afternoon Delight!

This post is part of the series introducing you to my co-authors of the best-selling book "I Just Want to Pee Alone".

Rebecca Gallagher is a blogger, mom, wife and poop scooper, not necessarily in that order. She writes at her blog, Frugalista Blog, which isn't about couponing. She likes movies, Daniel Craig, tea and lip gloss. She can be found driving her mini van to PTA meetings and heading to Target in yoga pants and cashmere. She spends too much time on Pinterest checking beauty tips and not enough time cleaning her house. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter @FrugieBlog. And you can buy the book she co-authored called, I Just Want To Pee Alone on Amazon.[Editor's note: she is also gorgeous and incredibly funny. xo. Lydia]

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Wait a minute. This isn’t going to be a post about…..about…. sex is it? Actually, it’s a post on the fact that it’s time to clean my shower and marital relations under running water can be dangerous.

It was a Saturday just after lunch. Both kids were out of the house and me and the hubby were just home alone. Yeah. Alone. Now I don’t know about you, but after the kids are in bed, one of us, is usually snoring on the couch. There’s drool involved and the dog curled up next to that person. We are just SO tired by the evening. If we don’t figure out a way for any interludes during daylight, there’s usually a long spell of no relations.

So I go upstairs to take a shower. I casually mentioned, “oh, what do you know- we’re alone and the kids aren’t home. Excuse me while I go take a shower.” Hint hint. Eventually, I’m in the midst of deep conditioning my hair when the bathroom door opens.

Dialogue exchanged:

Me: “What took you so long stud? (in my best Mae West voice) Are you serious about this? (changing immediately to my own worried voice) One of the kids could be home any minute.” (Emma is far too aware of things that go on behind closed doors.)

Him: “It’s okay, I’ll lock the door. We’ll be quick.”

(yeah, that’s true actually.)

Me: “You sure? We kind of suck at shower sex. One of us could get hurt. Like me.”

Him: “Hey, might as well try, I’ve got to shower anyway.”

He walks into the shower and wraps his arms around my waist.

Me: “OH MY GOD YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE ICE!!! WARM THEM UP FIRST!!!”

Him: “Sorry, I’ll put them under the hot water.”

Me: "AAAAAH! THERE’S WATER IN MY EAR….. YOUR DRIBBLING WATER IN MY EAR WITH YOUR HANDS UP AGAINST THE SHOWER HEAD LIKE THAT!” (I hate water in my ears, just so you know.)