"So I says to heur, 'come on mooladdo, just da tip.' She agreed, and dat is when I fell in love vit da moofies."

If you missed any of ESPN’s

This 10-minute movie focuses on the years before Arnold Schwarzenegger was the “Universe’s Perfect Specimen,” when the young Austrian seized upon an opportunity to use the sport of bodybuilding to catapult himself to international stardom. Barrack escapes, tanks, and borrowed underwear all play key roles.

It focuses on Arnold’s lesser-discussed early years, having to desert his military responsibilities, and the societal forces that shaped him into the maid-impregnating mulatto ass lover we’ve come to know and love. He describes his borrowed posing trunks in his first competition as as “all ferschmutzed.” I don’t know what that means, but if it’s half as bad as it sounds, it’s pretty gross. Watch it below.