HASBRO Threatens ISIS With Lawsuit, Claims Copyright Infringement

In a press release from international toy company Hasbro, company executives say that are ‘strongly considering’ a lawsuit against militant terrorist group ISIS, who the company says have ‘stolen the look and nature’ of G.I. Joe characters COBRA.

“For decades, G.I. Joe have been the ‘Real American Heroes,’ and they have fought against their nemesis COBRA, a group of violent terrorists who often wear hooded masks while performing their heinous tasks,” said George Prime, legal spokesman for HASBRO. “With the recent media coverage of the soulless terrorist group ISIS in Iraq and Syria, we were able to get a rather good look at their wardrobe, and we couldn’t believe that they’d resign to using COBRA costumes.”

HASBRO has owned the creative rights to G.I. Joe since 1964, and the toy line has seen many iterations, including action figures, a Saturday morning cartoon, and more recently, a series of feature films.

“Throughout all of it, though, we have owned the rights to names and likenesses, and that includes dark, hooded masks, at least when they are being used in a terrorist or menacing nature,” said Prime.

The company has sent an ultimatum to ISIS leaders to change their look, or they will bring legal action.

ISIS, short for the militant group named Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, have been waging an offensive that have seen large chunks of Northern Iraq fall out of government hands. ISIS is an al Qaeda splinter group that wants to establish an Islamic state that would stretch from Iraq into northern Syria.

“In the G.I. Joe world, COBRA is run by an evil, shadowy figure aptly named Cobra Commander. In the real world, ISIS is also run by a shadowy operative, and although it is not 100% known if he partakes in the same dark headwear often, one can only assume that he’s taking cues directly from our action figure line. We at HASBRO can only hope that they are, because in the end that means those monstrous sons of bitches will be quickly dispatched by real military heroes.”

HASBRO says that they have sent multiple messages to try to meet with ISIS leaders, but to no avail.