tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5126003718768021472015-07-21T04:59:03.736-04:00Kooz Top 5All the top 5 you can handle, in one convenient package.Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.comBlogger418125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-73285787830762857422015-06-08T12:33:00.003-04:002015-06-19T17:20:28.495-04:00New Book!<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span data-reactid=".3t.1:4:1:$comment923577057693951_923859204332403:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$text0:0" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">From one of the author's of the Kooz Top 5 comes, this book!</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span data-reactid=".3t.1:4:1:$comment923577057693951_923859204332403:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$text0:0" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br /></span></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MIg9mAxA_pg/VXXD0Z_8j_I/AAAAAAAB05Q/utFIhfrQPVM/s1600/11412394_923577057693951_9047853576543165334_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MIg9mAxA_pg/VXXD0Z_8j_I/AAAAAAAB05Q/utFIhfrQPVM/s320/11412394_923577057693951_9047853576543165334_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span data-reactid=".3t.1:4:1:$comment923577057693951_923859204332403:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$text0:0" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span data-reactid=".3t.1:4:1:$comment923577057693951_923859204332403:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$text0:0" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />Get it now in ebook format!</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span data-reactid=".3t.1:4:1:$comment923577057693951_923859204332403:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$text0:0" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span data-reactid=".3t.1:4:1:$comment923577057693951_923859204332403:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$text0:0" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">Only $1.49 on</span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Google Play:&nbsp;</span><a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fbit.ly%2F1KVkHWL&amp;h=rAQH4Ivbj&amp;enc=AZMES56FtwRYzqQxPNMwTlwyEXbvYEfUma-tza1juo_lAs1ZwWIPyhurmGRDxnrAn7QTJq3bbJ2MZV0EMZCrj3jw2rCCrExWGSbrP_uuL1VEY7FjeebnxQzw1y11paWo3Fab5UNzavqar23YLNyy8N4xQylYZN_HkbImRwMBg5-UqQ&amp;s=1" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/1KVkHWL</a><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">B&amp;N Nook:&nbsp;</span><a href="http://bit.ly/1IxFQmJ" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/1IxFQmJ</a><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Amazon Kindle:&nbsp;</span><a href="http://amzn.to/1TeCNFY" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://amzn.to/1TeCNFY</a><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br />Kobo:&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/1FJJIwD" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/1FJJIwD</a><br />Goodreads:&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/1eoomiX" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/1eoomiX</a></span></b><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span data-reactid=".3t.1:4:1:$comment923577057693951_923859204332403:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$text0:0" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br /></span></span><br /> Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-11575731937485828342014-08-27T12:20:00.000-04:002014-08-27T12:20:36.640-04:00Top 5 Ways to Write Better Articles<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Writing isn’t an easy task for many writers. There are some topics that just stump them and leave them wondering where to start. Getting a direction for an article takes some work sometimes. In order to provide the best content for the readers, writers have to get creative, think fast and put it all together in a cohesive thought pattern in terms that anyone can understand. It’s not as easy as you think, and even </span><a href="http://www.vorongo.com/freelance-writer-hire/"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">freelance writers struggle to accomplish</span></a><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">the task. A few pointers are below to help writers produce better articles.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Browse References for Ideas</span></b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">It never hurts to search the title of topic of the article you’re preparing to write. Reading another writer’s approach to a topic is helpful. It lets other writers see what has already been written and leaves room for them to build their own thought process on the topic. &nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">While browsing reference materials, </span><a href="http://www.education.com/reference/article/taking-notes-reading-assignments/"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">take a few notes</span></a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">. It will help the flow of the writing and will help ideas come more naturally as the content starts to take shape.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Use Simple Terminology</span></b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Unless otherwise stated, keep terminology simple. Getting technical automatically tells a reader the content will be boring. Your introduction needs to grab the audience’s attention; if it doesn’t all that time spent composing the article was for nothing. Most readers just want to enjoy the article and the content. Don’t make it more difficult for them than it has to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Write First, Title Last</span></b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">For some writers, coming up with a title is the hardest part. A great tip is to write the content first, skim over it and then title it. The content is important but the title is what makes an audience want to read the content. The more creative and exciting the title is, the more likely it is to be reviewed by more readers.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Use Visual Stimulation Items</span></b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Sometimes </span><a href="http://www.domtesta.com/blog/writing-tip-visual-stimulation"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">visual stimulation helps</span></a><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">a writer to be more creative and produce a better piece. For writers, visual stimulation is generally abstract art, something similar to Picasso. The story behind the painting or piece of art is what helps guide the mind. It also acts as a good mind clearing tool to help a clear direction form. It’s truly amazing what art and music can do for a writer, it’s just calming and helps the words flow better.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Write from Start to Finish</span></b><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">Tell the story from start to finish. All good stories have a beginning, climax and conclusion. An article is essentially an informative story that is used to draw in the attention of a broad audience. Within the story you’re telling, you need to fit a little personality into the words. Imagery is what paints a picture in the reader’s mind. The picture helps tell the story and helps the reader develop their own thoughts on the topic. If you have to, create an outline and work from that. For larger pieces, over 700 words, it is ideal to use the assistance of an outline. It helps the article, your facts and your thoughts all come out in proper order and tone.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Keep in mind that revisions may be required from time to time, that comes with the territory of being a writer. Perhaps a comment is too controversial or is not explanatory enough, a few simple fixes will have the article approved and published in no time.</span>Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-86083186529301335052013-11-06T17:11:00.001-05:002013-11-06T17:11:07.069-05:00Top 5 Comments about Toronto Mayor Rob Ford<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ki7yh9A9PMY/Unq4xwKdfmI/AAAAAAAB0Gk/ojX_alWd35o/s1600/Toronto+Mayor+Rob+Ford.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ki7yh9A9PMY/Unq4xwKdfmI/AAAAAAAB0Gk/ojX_alWd35o/s320/Toronto+Mayor+Rob+Ford.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Rob Ford, the Mayor of Toronto, a city of 2.5 million (more populous than all but 3 cities in the U.S.), recently admitted at the <a href="http://torontoist.com/2013/11/mayor-rob-ford-admits-to-having-smoked-crack-cocaine/">most awkward press conference ever</a> that he smoked crack last year while in a drunken stupor. &nbsp;Here are the funniest comments about or fake quotes about the incident:<br /><br /><b>5: He </b><a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/4183"><b>lives in a van,</b> down by the river</a>!<br /><br /><b>4: Marion Barry:</b> "Ford would make a fine Mayor of Washington D.C."<br /><br /><b>3: Rob Ford:</b> "Can't you [the media] use a picture of me smoking crack instead of that one of me having an accident [pictured above]?"<br /><br /><b>2: Headline: </b>Chris Farley Found Alive, Though Not Well, in Canada<br /><br /><b>1: Rob Ford: </b>"I'm sorry; I was in a drunken stupor and high on crack at the time of that press conference."<br /><br />Sorry Rob, but you brought this on yourself. &nbsp;Have you heard any good ones about Rob Ford? &nbsp;If so, share in the comments below!<br /><br /><i>The site is back in operation, and will be making occasional posts as the mood hits us. &nbsp;Thanks for enduring our delay! &nbsp;Twitterers, follow me <a href="https://twitter.com/DaveKozlowski">@DaveKozlowski</a> or <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">Like the Kooz Top 5 on Facebook</a>.</i>&nbsp;Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-47900566843345974982013-05-29T12:50:00.004-04:002013-05-29T12:50:46.759-04:00Not Defunct, Just Dormant Like Mothra<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wzlps7-TvZ4/UaYv_LVoxsI/AAAAAAABz8Q/Zt-M5iyPrPw/s1600/Mothra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wzlps7-TvZ4/UaYv_LVoxsI/AAAAAAABz8Q/Zt-M5iyPrPw/s320/Mothra.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />You'll notice that we haven't updated in a while. &nbsp;We are still here, but we're on hiatus.<br /><br />The truth is, the Kooz Top 5 is a lot of work, and trying to bring you the funny every day is overwhelming for &nbsp; our one and a half person staff. &nbsp;Especially since there is no money in this. &nbsp;None. &nbsp;No "donate" button; nothing. &nbsp;Hell, we have ads, but we bury them at the bottom of the page (they are so ignored that over the life of the KT5, the ads haven't generated enough revenue to qualify for actual payment!).<br /><br />Still, we want to continue. &nbsp;We are looking for contributors. &nbsp;Can you write (even a little)? &nbsp;How about a "top 5" once a week? &nbsp;If so, <a href="mailto:kooztop5@gmail.com">email us</a>.<br /><br />Here's some stats: the site, dormant as it is, still gets about 400-500 unique visits per day (and that's from Google Analytics, not the jive, spam-filled stats from Blogger). &nbsp;Each article, depending how well it is promoted and how interesting it is, gets between 50 and 200 unique views on its first day. &nbsp;After that, it gets archived by Google and shows up in searches.<br /><br />We can offer you no pay. &nbsp;But, you'll write, and your writing will be read by real people! &nbsp;Oh, and if you have a website or something else you want to pimp, that's fine too. <br /><br />Sound cool? &nbsp;Join the dark side...Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-79829200305677867032013-02-20T01:08:00.000-05:002013-02-20T01:08:02.837-05:00Gilbert Gottfried's Bird Voice Acting RolesGilbert Gottfried has made a career out of voicing birds. &nbsp;Oh, and being a comedian. &nbsp;But the bird thing is really weird--he plays a lot of birds...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KlWpsDmrZ5M/USRnl6rcNnI/AAAAAAABzrI/idthF4jCONM/s1600/Timon+and+Pumbaa+Woodpecker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KlWpsDmrZ5M/USRnl6rcNnI/AAAAAAABzrI/idthF4jCONM/s1600/Timon+and+Pumbaa+Woodpecker.jpg" /></a></div>5: <b>The Woodpecker</b> (<i>Timon &amp; Pumbaa</i>) - Gilbert plays a mean looking woodpecker in this straight-to-video sequel to The Lion King.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v7uII_szTVU/USRnilrzBXI/AAAAAAABzrA/um0c2YT6xjg/s1600/Lemony+Snicket+Duck+Gilbert+Gottfried.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v7uII_szTVU/USRnilrzBXI/AAAAAAABzrA/um0c2YT6xjg/s1600/Lemony+Snicket+Duck+Gilbert+Gottfried.jpg" /></a></div>4: <b>Duck</b> (<i>Lemony Snicket's: A Series of Unfortunate Events</i>) - Don't care about the movie at all; didn't see it; whatever. &nbsp;But I understand Gilbert plays a duck.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h0j5RPXYLig/USRnfaO7xpI/AAAAAAABzq4/300rTspyG_o/s1600/Digit+Cyberchase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h0j5RPXYLig/USRnfaO7xpI/AAAAAAABzq4/300rTspyG_o/s320/Digit+Cyberchase.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>3: <b>Digit (<i>Cyberchase</i>)</b> - I've watched this show with my kid, mainly because it has Gilbert doing this bird's voice and Christopher Lloyd as the bad guy.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-apadYdDqaeY/USRncj2mNII/AAAAAAABzqw/mTCP4Vz1O2Q/s1600/Aflac+Duck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-apadYdDqaeY/USRncj2mNII/AAAAAAABzqw/mTCP4Vz1O2Q/s1600/Aflac+Duck.jpg" /></a></div>2: <b>Aflac Duck</b> - He was fired form this role after Tweeting some jokes about the Tsunami that ravaged Japan a few years back. &nbsp;Aflac then hired a much cheaper hack who sounds exactly like Gilbert to voice the duck. A cynical person would say Aflac used the opportunity to dump Gilbert's salary and hire someone much cheaper. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9dmATGUqjQ4/USRnaEJAT5I/AAAAAAABzqo/JxWRa553xVg/s1600/Iago+Aladdin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9dmATGUqjQ4/USRnaEJAT5I/AAAAAAABzqo/JxWRa553xVg/s320/Iago+Aladdin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>1: <b>Iago</b> (<i>Aladdin</i>) - I'm so ticked off, I'm molting! &nbsp;Great movie, great character, great gig for Gilbert. &nbsp;He didn't even need to do a voice--it's just him.<br /><br />I would personally love to see an animated bird acting out Gilbert's telling of The Aristocrats, but maybe that's just me. &nbsp;Comments below, like us on Facebook, find us on Twitter @KoozTop5, yada yada yada...Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-16787352291029062432013-02-14T08:24:00.003-05:002013-02-14T08:24:48.184-05:00Inappropriate Valentine's Day Candy Heart Messages<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">These Valentine's Day candy heart messages are not necessarily bad, but they really shouldn't be in the box of candy your kid is bringing to school. &nbsp;Not that we're judging...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JEDhvAY_bvo/URzlNwdoeTI/AAAAAAABzqM/Hx2pUxc6Xbc/s1600/Valentines+Day+Hearts.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="314" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JEDhvAY_bvo/URzlNwdoeTI/AAAAAAABzqM/Hx2pUxc6Xbc/s320/Valentines+Day+Hearts.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>5: Gave You STD<br /><br />4: Aunt Flo Says No<br /><br />3: Pee on Me<br /><br />2: No Gag Reflex<br /><br />1: U Have Acute Angina<br /><br />Happy Valentine's Day! &nbsp;Here's hoping you don't get any of these. &nbsp;Or do. &nbsp; Whatever makes you happy! Show us some love by liking us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">Facebook</a>!</div>Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-34728128408252227762013-02-13T11:02:00.001-05:002013-02-13T11:06:22.815-05:00Things To Make With SnowNext time Nemogeddon strikes, get your gloves and be prepared to make the following.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U3Nqisw2O1E/URu47ALWDFI/AAAAAAABzp4/Sx1T6zlC208/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U3Nqisw2O1E/URu47ALWDFI/AAAAAAABzp4/Sx1T6zlC208/s320/photo+(1).JPG" width="239" /></a></div>5: <b>Snow Angel</b> - Best way to get freeeeeeezing cold. <br /><br />4: <b>Igloo </b>- Yeah, by the time you pack the third block, you're ready to go inside.<br /><br />3: <b>Snowman</b> - To do it right, get some coal, a carrot, a pipe, a scarf, and a top hat. Don't feel like investing a fortune? Naked with rock eyes, nose, and smile is fine too.<br /><br />2: <b>Snowballs </b>- Because what else are you going throw at passing trucks?<br /><br />1: <b>Snowcone </b>- Yum! Delicious, and calorie-free since you don't have all that sweet flavoring... Wait... No sweet flavoring. Let me rethink delicious...<br /><br />So, if you're still among those waiting to be dug out, or if you're just waiting for the next nor'easter, keep these tips in mind!Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11694928116881302188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-75794386144929024522013-02-11T08:47:00.003-05:002013-02-11T08:47:30.644-05:00Reasons the Pope Will Step DownPope Benedict XVI is stepping down on February 28th. &nbsp;Here's our thoughts as to why.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-j71--gfm0ZE/URj2MV5YC5I/AAAAAAABzpk/fh659We-r2o/s1600/Pope+Benedict.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-j71--gfm0ZE/URj2MV5YC5I/AAAAAAABzpk/fh659We-r2o/s1600/Pope+Benedict.jpg" /></a></div>5: The world ends March 1, and he wants to get one good night of partying in.<br /><br />4: He just learned the Pope can't date!<br /><br />3: Just once he'd like to sleep in on a Sunday.<br /><br />2: Neck problems--that hat is heavy!<br /><br />1: He's got to get ready for Spring Training.<br /><br />The Pope actually cites deteriorating strength, and we wish him well. Abdicating a position of absolute authority is rare in history--good for him for putting the needs of his group ahead of his ego. &nbsp;Don't even try to lie and say you don't have your own theory. &nbsp;Tell us below! Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-51426590155027133362013-02-09T00:05:00.000-05:002013-02-13T08:12:27.513-05:00Winter Storm Nemo Alternate NamesThis just in - <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/winter-storm-nemo-arrives-connecticut-worst-yet-come-214800607.html">Winter Storm Nemo</a> may now be referred to by any of the following:<br /><br />5: <b>Snowpocalypse</b><br /><br />4: <b>The Snowfall to end all Snowfalls</b><br /><br />3: <b>The Day the Earth Stood Chill</b><br /><br />2: <b>Sandy's Asshole Brother</b><br /><br />1: <b>Nemogeddon</b><br /><br />That is all. &nbsp;(Unless you've got a better name, in which case, tell us!)Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-12776330948329125622013-02-08T09:05:00.005-05:002013-02-08T09:05:31.270-05:00Things to Avoid Before a BlizzardPredictions for snowfall from <a href="http://www.weather.com/news/weather-winter/winter-storm-nemo-20130206">Winter Storm Nemo</a> in the northeastern United States have ranged from inches to feet, and everyone is preparing for one of the worst storms to hit the region in years. If you're ever caught in these conditions, avoid these blizzard preparations. <i>Don't</i>--<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-euEinMYOkME/URUFrHuJR2I/AAAAAAABzpQ/qeYXuTaJpXE/s1600/photo+(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-euEinMYOkME/URUFrHuJR2I/AAAAAAABzpQ/qeYXuTaJpXE/s320/photo+(2).JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just started and already I'm sick of it.</td></tr></tbody></table>5:&nbsp;<b>Plan on ordering in</b>. Because if you can't get out of your house, neither can the pizza delivery guy, genius.<br /><div><br /></div>4:&nbsp;<b>Take a vacation/sick day at work</b>. They are going to close the office. Don't burn your own paid time off; let them do it.<br /><br />3:&nbsp;<b>Fly</b>. Take advantage of the airlines waiving change fees and reschedule your flight as soon as you can for the best availability. You don't want to trudge through the snow and traffic just to find out your flight was cancelled once you actually arrive at the airport, or worse, keep getting delayed and then finally cancelled so you've spent your whole day in the airport and can't even get home because the roads are closed.<br /><br />2: <b>Pre-treat your driveway with saline</b>. You don't know what you're doing and will inevitably end up with a sheet of ice that will make the snow impossible to stand on.<br /><br />1: <b>Go shopping</b>. Everyone is shopping, buying enough bottled water and cans of beans to survive a nuclear winter in a bunker. That's overboard. And crazy. In two days, these folks will be slightly regretful.<br /><br />What I do recommend as preparation is getting a 30 pack of Coors Light and honoring the WCSU case day tradition of spending snow days with beer. &nbsp;Or you could dig around in the Kooz Top 5 and see if you find anything funny. Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-85152454276908942402013-02-07T10:16:00.006-05:002013-02-07T10:16:46.822-05:00Children's Toiletries you can BorrowHaving kids is worth it if only for the toiletries you can borrow! &nbsp;For example:<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hxt0zbqEtiU/URPERonZHxI/AAAAAAABzo8/u6PBL0PsJpM/s1600/Aquaphor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hxt0zbqEtiU/URPERonZHxI/AAAAAAABzo8/u6PBL0PsJpM/s320/Aquaphor.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />5: <b>Aquaphor Ointment</b> - It's Vaseline minus the sickly yellow color, and it's great for chapped lips and paper cuts.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N3ENykXWoO0/URPEOLkcGjI/AAAAAAABzo0/Woiz5AzDUFc/s1600/Mr.+Bubble.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N3ENykXWoO0/URPEOLkcGjI/AAAAAAABzo0/Woiz5AzDUFc/s320/Mr.+Bubble.jpg" width="223" /></a></div>4: <b>Mr. Bubble</b>&nbsp;- By the time you have kids, you don't have your own bubble bath but you do occasionally have the chance to take a bubble bath. Why not bathe with Mr. Bubble?<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zT1NTpboyZA/URPELwr9coI/AAAAAAABzos/MeouFJrRsIc/s1600/Themed+Band+Aids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zT1NTpboyZA/URPELwr9coI/AAAAAAABzos/MeouFJrRsIc/s320/Themed+Band+Aids.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>3: <b>Themed Band-Aids</b> - Even if you think you're too old, Bugs Bunny is going to make that booboo feel better.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M61tF5DiV5A/URPEJZR_FFI/AAAAAAABzok/7OCfXm6S1gU/s1600/L'Oreal+2-in-1+Shampoo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M61tF5DiV5A/URPEJZR_FFI/AAAAAAABzok/7OCfXm6S1gU/s1600/L'Oreal+2-in-1+Shampoo.jpg" /></a></div>2: <b>L'Oreal 2-in-1Shampoo and Conditioner</b> - When you don't have the luxury of enough time to do both steps separately, this stuff works like a charm. I'm partial to the delightfully scented Madagascar Penguins Orange Mango kind. Don't worry, it smells like the fruit, not the animal.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-swudqqyiJ9g/URPEGH5EMkI/AAAAAAABzoc/hzCQnuPyn28/s1600/Bubble+Gum+Toothpaste.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="136" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-swudqqyiJ9g/URPEGH5EMkI/AAAAAAABzoc/hzCQnuPyn28/s320/Bubble+Gum+Toothpaste.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>1: <b>Toothpaste </b>- Because sometimes you want the taste of bubblegum without that annoying chewing and simultaneously clean your teeth while avoiding the whole fresh breath thing.<br /><br />Any other health or beauty products you steal from your kids? &nbsp;Share them with us in the comments below. &nbsp;And don't forget to like us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">Facebook</a>!Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-63332322404404843022013-02-06T11:17:00.001-05:002013-02-06T11:17:13.537-05:00Worst Lance Armstrong Traits<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">Lance Armstrong sucks. &nbsp;Okay, this has been sitting in the hopper for a while, and in light of Lance's recent <i>mea culpa</i>, we feel the time is right to unleash our top 5 worst things about Lance Armstrong.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_K7BXN0pz8s/URKBv8qDEZI/AAAAAAABzoI/eLaFacuw3JM/s1600/Lance+Armstrong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_K7BXN0pz8s/URKBv8qDEZI/AAAAAAABzoI/eLaFacuw3JM/s320/Lance+Armstrong.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>5: <b>Shitty author</b> - His book, "It's Not About The Bike," is terrible. &nbsp;It's poorly written and so chock-full of hyperbole, it's almost unreadable. &nbsp;Also, it's a "with" book (as in written by: "Lance Armstrong with Sally Jenkins," which means it was actually written by Sally Jenkins), so maybe we should blame this one on Ms. Jenkins. &nbsp;I haven't bothered to read any of his others, but I'll assume they all suck, and refer to them collectively as "his book."<br /><br />4: <b>Cheater </b>- Steroids.<br /><br />3: <b>Bad husband</b> - His wife was his support through his struggles with cancer. &nbsp;After recovering, he dumped her for Sheryl Crow.<br /><br />2: <b>Self-centered, egotistical jerk</b> - He is so obnoxious and he doesn't even realize it. &nbsp;His book makes it clear that he realizes his pre-steroid scandal story should be inspiring, but his ego prevents him from figuring out why. &nbsp;The "It's Not About the Bike" title is appropriate--it's about how awesome Lance is and always has been! &nbsp;And now we know he's full of shit. &nbsp;So awesome.<br /><br />1: <b>Liar </b>- Lied about steroids for years, even in the face of multiple accusations. &nbsp;In fact, he claimed that his&nbsp;<a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/cycling/2012/10/22/lance-armstrong-tour-de-france-doping/1650693/">accusers were the liars</a>.<br /><br />Livestrong has worked to distance itself from Lance to some degree, which is good. &nbsp;They do a good job supporting cancer patients (as opposed to working toward a cure--both are needed, but the former is often overlooked). &nbsp;But I digress. &nbsp;Lance is a douche, with a capital D double O S H.<br /><br />That was almost timely. &nbsp;Share your thoughts below...</div>Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-18260175679529930382013-02-05T10:19:00.001-05:002013-02-05T10:20:48.089-05:00Top 5 Fruity Songs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ezHzDlzE5F4/UREigc137lI/AAAAAAABzn0/7TTog8bsXKA/s1600/Fruit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ezHzDlzE5F4/UREigc137lI/AAAAAAABzn0/7TTog8bsXKA/s1600/Fruit.jpg" /></a></div>These songs all make me hungry. Not as hungry as songs about cake or ice cream, but hungry nonetheless. Here are our favorite five songs about fruit.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/vmaF6IOODFc/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vmaF6IOODFc&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vmaF6IOODFc&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>5: <b>Peaches</b> - Makes me want to move to the country.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/F13JNjpNW6c/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/F13JNjpNW6c&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/F13JNjpNW6c&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>4: <b>Tutti Frutti </b>- Not about fruit, <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2013/01/top-5-songs-with-gibberish-sounds-in.html">I know</a>. And yeah, it's a fro-yo chain. But makes me want some sort of sticky-sweet fruit dessert.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/PMigXnXMhQ4/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PMigXnXMhQ4&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PMigXnXMhQ4&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>3: <b>Banana Boat Song</b> - <i><a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2011/10/top-5-best-tim-burton-films.html">Beetlejuice</a></i> introduced me to this song and I have loved it ever since.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/Tbgv8PkO9eo/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Tbgv8PkO9eo&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Tbgv8PkO9eo&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>2: <b>Coconut </b>- Coconut may not be a fruit, but when you put the lime in it, it comes close.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/ZFtD1DMal3o/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZFtD1DMal3o&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZFtD1DMal3o&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>1: <b>Cherry Pie</b> - Yes, I'm pretty sure this is an innocent little song about baked goods.<br /><br />Any fruit songs that you're a fan of? &nbsp;Use the comments to tell us, and find us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">Facebook</a> where you can like our page for more fun stuff!Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11694928116881302188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-58728976288603648352013-02-04T08:09:00.000-05:002013-02-04T08:09:46.585-05:00Top 5 Superbowl Commercials of 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9SXFfJ7-MSk/UQ-zFW3wVnI/AAAAAAABzng/2HiqscOZNwo/s1600/Superbowl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9SXFfJ7-MSk/UQ-zFW3wVnI/AAAAAAABzng/2HiqscOZNwo/s1600/Superbowl.jpg" /></a></div>Sprinkled amidst a blackout, a two-quarter rout, and a two-quarter comeback that fell just short were some pretty funny commercials. &nbsp;In case you missed them (and have ignored the rest of the internet, as everybody is writing the same thing this morning), here are the top 5 funniest commercials from last night.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/BiVrBbWZQdQ/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BiVrBbWZQdQ&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BiVrBbWZQdQ&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>5: <b>Samsung Mobile, Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen </b>- Both get called in to audition for "the next big thing"--they insult each other until finding out they are there to work together. &nbsp;Ah, mishaps.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/2EFfZ3_0Uro/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2EFfZ3_0Uro&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2EFfZ3_0Uro&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>4: <b>Go Daddy, Close Up Kiss </b>- An overweight geek and a gorgeous woman are the perfect match. &nbsp;Watch them make out. &nbsp;Now go get a web page from GoDaddy.com. &nbsp;By the way, the geek is the smart one here (obviously), as it took 45 takes to get this right. &nbsp;Brilliant.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/7qClxiBZrE4/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7qClxiBZrE4&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7qClxiBZrE4&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>3: <b>Kia Sorrento, Space Babies</b> - A dad tells his son where babies come from, but when the son attempts to correct him with the truth, the dad gets his Kia to play some kid-friendly tunes. &nbsp;It doesn't make a ton of sense, but it's funny.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/_afZ0H7V0vQ/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_afZ0H7V0vQ&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_afZ0H7V0vQ&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>2: <b>Taco Bell, Viva Young </b>- A group of old people (sans Betty White--she'd have been in it last year) neck out for a wild evening of tattoos, sex, an general dukes debauchery. &nbsp;Props to the old man pressing his bare, flashed chest up against the restaurant window. &nbsp;Now that you're thinking of old people humping, who wants some tacos? <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/HY4L1ihRkaY/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HY4L1ihRkaY&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HY4L1ihRkaY&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>1: <b>Doritos, Goat 4 Sale </b>- A man with a neck brace and crutches is selling a goat, so of course a passerby buys it. As the goat proceeds to make his new owner's life miserable by eating bag after bag of nacho cheese snack, the owner determines to sell the goat himself, but he goat catches him painting the "goat 4 sale" sign.<br /><br />Someone had to be left out, and this year it was the Doritos dad, which would have been funnier and more impactful had Facebook not thrown it in my face for the two weeks leading up to the game. &nbsp;That's okay for Doritos, they still scored the top spot. &nbsp;What were your favorites? &nbsp;Share in the comments or on our <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">Facebook page</a>.Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-11100662493119589862013-01-31T11:23:00.002-05:002013-01-31T11:23:38.285-05:00Top 5 Things That Are Hard, Lyrically SpeakingLots of things are hard, right? Like <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2013/01/top-5-parking-laws-that-should-exist.html" target="_blank">finding a parking spot</a>, or not being able to find a <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2011/09/top-5-sweets-that-dont-exist-anymore.html" target="_blank">food you used to love</a>, or coming up with five things to write a <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">blog</a> about everyday, for example. &nbsp;Well here are our favorite difficult things, according to songs.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/tbad22CKlB4/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tbad22CKlB4&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tbad22CKlB4&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>5. <b>Breaking Up</b> - It's hard to do.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/Ft-J72YnMFI/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ft-J72YnMFI&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ft-J72YnMFI&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>4. <b>Me </b>- I'm hard to handle now. And the lyrics that follow are hard to understand. Double whammy.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/zSm0M-BbVdY/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zSm0M-BbVdY&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zSm0M-BbVdY&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>3. <b>Day's Night</b> - And sorry, lady, but I think it's all the cowbell in the song that makes it alright<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/VastXQ_hPb0/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VastXQ_hPb0&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VastXQ_hPb0&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>2. <b>To Say Goodbye To Yesterday</b> - It's also hard not to sing along to this song.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/0Cxr1-b6Xkc/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0Cxr1-b6Xkc&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0Cxr1-b6Xkc&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>1. <b>Being Snoop D O Double G</b> - I assume that's why he had to change his name to Snoop Lion.<br /><br />Are you still singing that Boys II Men song? &nbsp;Me too. &nbsp;Let us know what you think in the comments, and find us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5" target="_blank">Facebook</a>.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11694928116881302188noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-73529959698278834312013-01-30T09:20:00.002-05:002013-01-30T09:36:13.540-05:00Top 5 Parking Laws That Should ExistParking. &nbsp;We've heard your parking complaints, and we're here to help. &nbsp;Finding a parking spot can be brutal, but we can make it easier with some simple legislation. &nbsp;Here are the top 5 parking rules that should exist.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vc-NLN9BlD4/UQksD18RoEI/AAAAAAABznM/CgbtbdE321Q/s1600/Full+Lot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vc-NLN9BlD4/UQksD18RoEI/AAAAAAABznM/CgbtbdE321Q/s320/Full+Lot.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />5: <b>No teasing.</b> &nbsp;All tiny cars should be required to pull in only far enough to have their rear bumper line up with the normal cars next to it. &nbsp;Stop teasing people into thinking a spot is empty!<br /><br />4: <b>No stealing.</b>&nbsp; If a car is pulling out and you have your blinker on to claim the spot, but someone comes from the other direction and pulls in, you are permitted to park behind them and block them in.<br /><br />3: <b>No teasing II.</b>&nbsp; Cars that are backing out of a spot only to straighten out and pull back in should not be permitted to do so in crowded lots when other cars are waiting for them to pull out and leave.<br /><br />2: <b>No making me look stupid.</b>&nbsp; If you park in some bizarre crooked way that in turn makes me have to also park that way, you should be required to stay and wait for me to leave before you. &nbsp;No leaving first and making ME look like the one that as no idea how to park.<br /><br />1: <b>Signaling.</b>&nbsp; All cars should be required to have turn signals so you know when they are going to turn into a spot. &nbsp;What's that you say? &nbsp;All cars DO have turn signals? &nbsp;Well from what I've seen they are an option that no one pays for.<br /><br />It is completely permissible for you to flip off violators. &nbsp;Yeah, even if they have kids in the car--you are teaching those kids a valuable lesson in not being a jackass! &nbsp;Help us get support for these propositions; share this post and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">like us on Facebook</a>. &nbsp;And if you've got anything to add, do so below.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11694928116881302188noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-53831252328953939692013-01-29T10:28:00.001-05:002013-01-29T10:28:16.611-05:00Top 5 Songs with Gibberish Sounds in Them<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-a3rmNw8ScZI/UQfqdDM5gNI/AAAAAAABzm0/MbR13USAYFo/s1600/Music+Note.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-a3rmNw8ScZI/UQfqdDM5gNI/AAAAAAABzm0/MbR13USAYFo/s320/Music+Note.png" width="232" /></a></div>Heard two of these in a row, which got us thinking about how many songs have gibberish sounds thrown in--sometimes to force a rhyme, sometimes just because. &nbsp;Here are our favorites, let us know your favorites in the comments.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/NHozn0YXAeE/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NHozn0YXAeE&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NHozn0YXAeE&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>5: <b>MmmBop (<i>Hanson</i>)</b> - "mmmbop, boppa du bop"<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/cmjrTcYMqBM/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cmjrTcYMqBM&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cmjrTcYMqBM&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>4: <b>Witch Doctor (<i>David Seville</i>) </b>- "ooh, eee, ooh, ah ah, ting, tang walla walla bing bang"<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/QFq5O2kabQo/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QFq5O2kabQo&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QFq5O2kabQo&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>3: <b>Tutti Frutti (<i>Little Richard</i>)</b> - "a whop bop a lua, a whop bam boo"<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/_LBmUwi6mEo/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_LBmUwi6mEo&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_LBmUwi6mEo&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>2: <b>The Lion Sleeps Tonight (<i>The Tokens</i>)</b> - "aweem o way"<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/8Q7FFjUpVLg/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8Q7FFjUpVLg&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8Q7FFjUpVLg&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>1: <b>Oh Yeah (<i>Yello</i>) </b>- "din bow bow"<br /><br />Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. &nbsp;Hanson. &nbsp;But that was a fun song (shout out to Marc, Rob, and ??? at Spring Sing 1997!). &nbsp;Anyway, find us on Facebook and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">like our page</a>!Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11694928116881302188noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-91739321938066020922013-01-28T10:21:00.001-05:002013-01-28T10:21:13.831-05:00Top 5 H. Jon Benjamin Character Voices<i>Archer </i>began this season with one of the greatest openings of all time--Archer with amnesia thinking he is Bob of <i>Bob's Burgers</i>. These shows are on different channels and are entirely unrelated, but they notably share one thing: the main character on both shows is voiced by <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2012/08/top-5-favorite-voice-actors-currently.html">H. Jon Benjamin</a>. But are they his best voice roles? Read on...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/QpF2VEmhSXM/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QpF2VEmhSXM&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QpF2VEmhSXM&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>5: <b>The Master (<a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2011/11/top-5-best-current-adult-cartoons.html"><i>The Venture Bros.</i></a>)</b> - One of the best animated shows of all-time, so naturally it had to find a role for Benjamin. The Master is a powerful magician who occasionally shows up to tell the Necromancer, one of the regular characters, what he's doing wrong. It sounds heavier than it is, just watch the clip.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TiR4bWoTbc0/UQaWEskYsDI/AAAAAAABzmg/oKI8dskg5KE/s1600/lucy-the-daughter-of-the-devil-season-ender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TiR4bWoTbc0/UQaWEskYsDI/AAAAAAABzmg/oKI8dskg5KE/s320/lucy-the-daughter-of-the-devil-season-ender.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nothing on Youtube, so click <a href="http://video.adultswim.com/lucy-the-daughter-of-the-devil/season-ender.html">this link</a>&nbsp;for video.</td></tr></tbody></table>4:<b> Satan (<i>Lucy: Daughter of the Devil</i>)</b> - This show lasted a heartbeat, and rightly so as it was pretty mediocre and full of missed opportunities to be funny. One of the few bright spots is Benjamin as the devil having all the typical problems any father does when trying to deal with his young-adult daughter.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/8ic9-R49IWs/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8ic9-R49IWs&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8ic9-R49IWs&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>3: <b>Bob (<i>Bob's Burgers</i>)</b> - I wasn't sure about this show at first, but the characters have settled in and the voice actors are good and keep it funny. Bob, his wife, and his three misfit kids run a burger shop and try, without much success, to live a normal life.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/YriUTQjcED8/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YriUTQjcED8&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YriUTQjcED8&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>2: <b>Sterling Archer (<i>Archer</i>)</b> - Archer is a narcissistic James Bond-type with mommy issues who works with his ex girlfriend and a bunch of misfits for a private spy organization run by his mother.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/43Zzu2nVKKU/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/43Zzu2nVKKU&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/43Zzu2nVKKU&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>1: <b>Coach John McGuirk/Jason Penopolis (<i>Home Movies</i>) </b>- If you don't agree with this choice then you don't know the show. Both characters are absolutely classic and voiced great. Add to the mix that Benjamin ad libbed half the lines and you've got a winning combination. <br /><br />This list is obviously chock-full of personal bias, so please share any disagreements below. Seriously, he can do no wrong, so whatever you like him in is certainly worthy of a mention. And if you like us, prove it by <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">liking us on Facebook</a>!Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-48641972567222671892013-01-25T00:39:00.000-05:002013-01-25T00:39:16.879-05:00Top 5 Lamest Comments Overheard on the Commuter TrainThere are always tons of drunk lawyers and businessmen returning home from long days of fucking up our economy. They usually drink a few beers on the train ride, making their inane comments inanier (?). Here's some of the worst stuff I heard over the course of one ride.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RMsZhRG5diI/UQILzTbrXHI/AAAAAAABzmQ/GPF6o6qKQks/s1600/Metro+North+Bar+Car.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RMsZhRG5diI/UQILzTbrXHI/AAAAAAABzmQ/GPF6o6qKQks/s320/Metro+North+Bar+Car.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />5: <b>"iPhone 5 has an app for that."</b> &nbsp;Okay, it's been out a long time now, and apps have been out even longer, and that whole "we have an app for that" concept has been out forever as well. &nbsp;What are you gaining by saying this (besides polite but uncomfortable laughter)?<br /><br />4: <b>"Beer me!"</b> &nbsp;(Followed by uproarious laughter as though it was the most original, clever moment ever uttered.) &nbsp;Has no one heard this before? &nbsp;It's not funny. &nbsp;It's what you say when you need a new beer and someone is closer to the cooler. &nbsp;Screw this idiot, but shame on all those morons who laughed.<br /><br />3: <b>"...and I was like, 'you are the weakest link, goodbye.'"</b> &nbsp;Wow, when did that show last air, a decade ago?<br /><br />2:<b> "Cold enough for ya?"</b> &nbsp;Anyone who says this should be kicked. &nbsp;No, I didn't kick the guy--he was bigger than me--but someone should have kicked him. &nbsp;What a meaningless, stupid phrase. &nbsp;I'm convinced it's what dumb people say to make small talk. &nbsp;These are the same guys who go up to girls in bars and ask, "what's your sign?" &nbsp;Like it's 1972 and anyone cares.<br /><br />1: <b>"At least it's Wednesday." </b>&nbsp;What? &nbsp;That would make sense if it were Friday--a day we all recognize as the end of the work week. &nbsp;But this person basically said, "at least we get to get up early and grind our way through two more work days before getting to relax!" &nbsp;I should note, this was said without any sense of sarcasm--he was actually happy it was Wednesday.<br /><br />Remember, that was one ride--this is repeated every week day! &nbsp;Make our misery a little less miserable--<a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">like our Facebook page</a> and leave us a comment below!Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-77642856654031672462013-01-24T01:02:00.000-05:002013-01-27T14:32:26.106-05:00Top 5 Worst Comic Book Movies (Prior to Batman Begins)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div>Guest blogger <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/search/label/Mike%20B.">Mike Bednarik</a> brings you today's top 5:</div><br />Most of these were prior to two of what I consider among the best comic book movies (which if Kooz allows, I will follow up with my Top 5 Best Comic Book Movies (Since <i>Batman Begins</i>).<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VreDI4Xjf20/UP6bF_4Ie1I/AAAAAAABzk4/S1tYCyutWNU/s1600/Hulk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VreDI4Xjf20/UP6bF_4Ie1I/AAAAAAABzk4/S1tYCyutWNU/s320/Hulk.jpg" width="224" /></a></div>5. <b>Hulk (2003)</b> – As <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2013/01/top-5-movies-from-decade-ago-2003.html">Kooz said previously</a>, Ang Lee’s career took a serious hit with this. &nbsp;Horrible story, weird comic book panels and pop up bubble shots for no apparent reason than to tell us he was making a comic book movie. &nbsp;And worst of all, Nick Nolte as some kind of shape-shifting, mom-murdering, gamma ray-infused-dog-creating, homage to the Hulk’s TV show alter ego (David Banner) for a villain. &nbsp;For a first budget studio attempt at a <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2012/09/top-5-images-of-hulk.html">Hulk</a> movie, this could have been so much better on every level.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YxjN-tIvPG0/UQDNaRLOHiI/AAAAAAABzlc/CzaqnjtbX44/s1600/Elektra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YxjN-tIvPG0/UQDNaRLOHiI/AAAAAAABzlc/CzaqnjtbX44/s320/Elektra.jpg" width="214" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U8JgIHoiJ2I/UQDNX87nY_I/AAAAAAABzlU/mh6GFsbIuKg/s1600/Daredevil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U8JgIHoiJ2I/UQDNX87nY_I/AAAAAAABzlU/mh6GFsbIuKg/s320/Daredevil.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>4. <b>Daredevil (2003)</b> <i>and </i><b>Elektra (2005)</b> – Sure, Jennifer Garner, looks like a fanboy’s dream in red tight leather as Elektra, but if anyone has ever read either of these comics, especially in the 1990’s, Elektra and Daredevil were actually pretty gritty, bad-ass characters. &nbsp;Instead, in <i>Daredevil </i>we get horrible Ben Affleck trying to act tough by growling at an okay-but-still-joke-of-a-villain-as-Bullseye&nbsp;Colin Farrell, and the talented Michael Duncan Clarke as a underdeveloped Kingpin. &nbsp;<i>Elektra </i>was a PG-13 train wreck with some b.s. story told in flashbacks about how her mom was murdered and she was the chosen one from some blind guy. &nbsp;Yet another CMB wussed out by Hollywood.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Joq09rGZpc/UQDNocej8KI/AAAAAAABzlk/p61JFMGjSME/s1600/Superman+III.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Joq09rGZpc/UQDNocej8KI/AAAAAAABzlk/p61JFMGjSME/s320/Superman+III.jpg" width="212" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-M8N04XJLHOE/UQDNsoY_W5I/AAAAAAABzlw/xIFB5TgBljk/s1600/Superman+IV.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-M8N04XJLHOE/UQDNsoY_W5I/AAAAAAABzlw/xIFB5TgBljk/s1600/Superman+IV.jpg" /></a></div>3. <b>Superman III (1983) </b><i>and</i> <b>Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)</b> – I have faith that the new one coming out soon will be pretty good. &nbsp;But let’s face it, this particular franchise should have stopped at number two. &nbsp;<i>Superman III</i> had Richard Pryor as a computer geek who causes Superman to become a douche. &nbsp;Then he fights a supercomputer because they figured that Lex Luthor was overdone. &nbsp;I guess, but a super computer? &nbsp;Lame. &nbsp;And Superman IV... my God. &nbsp;I admire the 80’s relevant theme of him trying to get rid of all nukes in the world and the return of Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor, but again, the main foe for Supes was horrible. &nbsp;Nuclear Man?!?! &nbsp;Wow... how original, a Superman clone who becomes a pansy in the shade. &nbsp;And Jon Cryer as Luthor’s nephew? &nbsp;WTF!?!?<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CptE4bG-WE4/UQDNylMlTAI/AAAAAAABzl4/jw_NfrDj3ZA/s1600/Captain+America.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CptE4bG-WE4/UQDNylMlTAI/AAAAAAABzl4/jw_NfrDj3ZA/s320/Captain+America.jpg" width="175" /></a></div>2. <b>Captain America (1990)</b> – Haven’t seen it? &nbsp;Be glad. &nbsp;The story actually wasn’t terrible and was close to the comics, but it looks and sounds like a bad TV movie version of a comic book movie. &nbsp;Spandex reigns and Cap’s shield (his trademark) looks like a plastic disc you can take for a ride on the big hill on a snowy day instead of an indestructible kick-ass weapon. &nbsp;And the villain, Red Skull, is basically a guy in a bad mask with a bad German accent. &nbsp;No one associated with this movie in any capacity ever did anything relevant in Hollywood again. &nbsp;That pretty much says it all. &nbsp;Still, if you want to get a good laugh and see it on somewhere, you have to check it out for the cheesiness factor alone.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-43PWq5wVjog/UQDN080JlDI/AAAAAAABzmA/uxh6NHronYk/s1600/Batman+and+Robin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-43PWq5wVjog/UQDN080JlDI/AAAAAAABzmA/uxh6NHronYk/s320/Batman+and+Robin.jpg" width="215" /></a></div>1. <b>Batman and Robin (1997)</b> - Two words: Bat Nipples! &nbsp;This awful trend can be blamed on <i>Batman Forever</i> where things started getting craptastic. &nbsp;I actually thought Clooney was a good Bruce Wayne/Batman choice but too much going on here by Joel Schumacher--namely too many villains and good guys. &nbsp;Overacting raises the cheese and camp factor to eleventy. &nbsp;The Governator as an one lining Mr. Freeze, a non sexy, Uma Thurman in green spandex as Poison Ivy, and Bane, one of the nastiest Batman villains in print, (redeemed in <i>The Dark Knight Rises</i>) reduced to a grunting, mono-syllabic, idiot bodyguard for Uma Thurman. &nbsp;Damn you Joel Schumacher!!!<br /><div><br /></div><div>How is that for terrible? &nbsp;Hollywood sure is getting better at this! &nbsp;For example, <a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2011/10/top-5-best-comic-book-super-hero-movies.html">these</a>. &nbsp;Let me know what you think of my choices in the comment section below. &nbsp;And go "like" the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">Kooz Top 5 Facebook page</a>!</div>Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-74224347655355191102013-01-23T10:19:00.000-05:002013-01-23T10:30:31.859-05:00Top 5 Ways to Make Food BetterNo, no, no. Not better FOR you, just better to eat. We aren't a health food blog, folks. &nbsp;But if you are wondering how to make your culinary creations taste even better, keep reading. <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/ifong/ifong1011/ifong101100010/8111185-scoop-of-vanilla-ice-cream-isolated-on-white-background.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/ifong/ifong1011/ifong101100010/8111185-scoop-of-vanilla-ice-cream-isolated-on-white-background.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here's the scoop.</td></tr></tbody></table>5. <b>A La Mode it </b>- Top anything with ice cream and it becomes more interesting. Apple pie? Eh. Apple pie a la mode? Yes, please! Similarly, you can mix just about anything into ice cream for a better overall product. Thank you, Coldstone.<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/39225033/Kevin+Bacon+123185134061442.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/39225033/Kevin+Bacon+123185134061442.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, not THAT Bacon!</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">4. <b>Wrap it in bacon </b>- I'll have the filet mignon, please. Oh, it's wrapped in bacon? I'll take two. And people that normally pass on the shrimp or scallops tend to change their tune once they see them wrapped in bacon. &nbsp;&nbsp;</div><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.wisegeek.com/rock-salt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="202" src="http://images.wisegeek.com/rock-salt.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Kooz Top 5 approves of salty language.</td></tr></tbody></table><br />3. <b>Sprinkle salt on it</b> - I imagine the humble pretzel didn't make it big until someone thought to salt it. And caramel has made a huge comeback what with it's recent salting.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/usr/1/12981/deep_fried_twinkie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/usr/1/12981/deep_fried_twinkie.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sadly, Twinkies are now extinct.</td></tr></tbody></table>2. <b>Deep fry it</b> - Everything has been thrown into the fryer lately and mostly we've been happy with the results. Who knew Oreos could be improved?<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.foodnetwork.com/FOOD/2011/06/07/FNM_070111-Only-In-004_s4x3_lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://img.foodnetwork.com/FOOD/2011/06/07/FNM_070111-Only-In-004_s4x3_lg.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The life of pie.</td></tr></tbody></table>1. <b>Dip it in Chocolate</b> - Before everyone started deep frying things, the chocolate dip was the way to go. In fact, I think I've seen pretty much everything from the items above, including bacon, dipped in chocolate. &nbsp;Chocolate rules.<br /><br />Of course if you can find yourself a food that includes all of these categories at the same time, you've hit the motherload. &nbsp;You will also probably soon be making an appointment with your friendly cardiologist for a bypass, so try not to go too crazy on these treats. &nbsp;Even though we aren't a healthy living blog, The Kooz Top 5 really does care about your health. &nbsp;Kind of.<br /><br />Agree? &nbsp;Disagree? &nbsp;Have anything to add? &nbsp;Tried something delicious or wacky and want to let us know about it? &nbsp;Please tell us in the comments below! &nbsp;And bon appetit.<br /><br /><br />Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11694928116881302188noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-88412569560635188632013-01-22T08:59:00.002-05:002013-01-22T13:30:55.143-05:00Top 5 Movies From a Decade Ago (2003)I can't believe it's been ten years since these movies came out.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VreDI4Xjf20/UP6bF_4Ie1I/AAAAAAABzk4/S1tYCyutWNU/s1600/Hulk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VreDI4Xjf20/UP6bF_4Ie1I/AAAAAAABzk4/S1tYCyutWNU/s320/Hulk.jpg" width="224" /></a></div>5: <b>Hulk </b>- Bad cgi nightmare about a&nbsp;<a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2012/09/top-5-images-of-hulk.html">beloved 80's TV show</a>&nbsp;and comic book character. The movie that almost derailed Ang Lee's&nbsp;<i>Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon</i>&nbsp;success.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yE9IRXlXZRA/UP6bCte-WwI/AAAAAAABzkw/kl--MHfXufg/s1600/Big+Fish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yE9IRXlXZRA/UP6bCte-WwI/AAAAAAABzkw/kl--MHfXufg/s320/Big+Fish.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>4: <b>Big Fish</b> - A son finds out his dying father's tall tales are true, sort of. The last really good movie directed by Tim Burton.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oQ5kreuptrY/UP6a9svkDZI/AAAAAAABzko/_G_zceLe3K4/s1600/Love+Actually.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oQ5kreuptrY/UP6a9svkDZI/AAAAAAABzko/_G_zceLe3K4/s320/Love+Actually.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>3: <b>Love Actually</b> - 8 people have a Christmas to remember, or forget. Remember how charming Hugh Grant used to be? &nbsp;Currently in post-production,&nbsp;<i>Bridget Jones's Bab</i>y. &nbsp;Seriously.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4Slxk8u_sIo/UP6a511uaRI/AAAAAAABzkg/MBB_sV-lIrA/s1600/Finding+Nemo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4Slxk8u_sIo/UP6a511uaRI/AAAAAAABzkg/MBB_sV-lIrA/s320/Finding+Nemo.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>2: <b>Finding Nemo</b> - An animated fish gets lost and his father has an adventure searching for him. And nobody with kids has been able to lose him since.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qaQX9-Mzhz0/UP6a1gwJ1-I/AAAAAAABzkY/KYR8Im7Vkhk/s1600/School+of+Rock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qaQX9-Mzhz0/UP6a1gwJ1-I/AAAAAAABzkY/KYR8Im7Vkhk/s320/School+of+Rock.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>1: <b>School of Rock</b> - Jack Black teaches kids rock-n-roll. &nbsp;Yep, it's been a decade since America collectively said, "Okay, Jack Black, enough."<br /><br />It was a good year for movies. &nbsp; I addition to the three good ones listed, <i>Lost in Translation</i> came out in '03. &nbsp;But holy crap, it seems like yesterday. &nbsp;Just wait, you'll feel really old when we do our top 5 songs from 2003! &nbsp;We love your comments, so leave hem below and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">like us on Facebook</a>!Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-71466554469560285762013-01-18T08:13:00.006-05:002013-01-22T13:31:10.489-05:00Top 5 Strange Foods My 2 Year Old Has Tried<a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/2012/07/top-5-things-my-2-12-year-old-says.html">My kid</a> is 2. He loves to eat and is open to trying new things. &nbsp;He also hasn't put together that meat is animal. &nbsp; He thinks that food is just named after animals. If you ask him if he eats cow, he says, "yes, but the meat kind, not the animal kind." I am taking full advantage of this because when he puts it all together, I suspect he will get finicky as hell. &nbsp;For now, here are the most exotic foods he's tried.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FHuoOgjyx70/UPlKYEh_-8I/AAAAAAABzkI/urSbVobMxXE/s1600/Bison.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FHuoOgjyx70/UPlKYEh_-8I/AAAAAAABzkI/urSbVobMxXE/s320/Bison.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>5: <b>Bison Jerky</b> - Not a huge fan--he said it's too spicy.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zL98McllxVw/UPlKVOOM_fI/AAAAAAABzkA/P20cqzKQoMs/s1600/Duck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="229" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zL98McllxVw/UPlKVOOM_fI/AAAAAAABzkA/P20cqzKQoMs/s320/Duck.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>4: <b>Duck</b> - He didn't like it. &nbsp;He likes ducks (the animals) and I think this may have hit a little close to home--it was the first thing he seemed a bit turned off by simply because of the name.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AM86PtZKmb4/UPlKR28ky4I/AAAAAAABzj4/i8tFUpwmuw4/s1600/Gator.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AM86PtZKmb4/UPlKR28ky4I/AAAAAAABzj4/i8tFUpwmuw4/s320/Gator.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>3: <b>Alligator </b>- He gave this a big thumbs up. &nbsp;Although it was in fritter form, so it was almost indistinguishable from any other kind of meat.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KYq-ZyWFtjI/UPlKOFdZ5LI/AAAAAAABzjw/wxzVVz0eNNM/s1600/Kangaroo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KYq-ZyWFtjI/UPlKOFdZ5LI/AAAAAAABzjw/wxzVVz0eNNM/s320/Kangaroo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>2: <b>Kangaroo Jerky</b> - He would take a bite, then hop around like a kangaroo. &nbsp;He loved he stuff!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MenubXQeC9Y/UPlKJPgaRLI/AAAAAAABzjo/p2pNuv9Sbkc/s1600/Shark.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MenubXQeC9Y/UPlKJPgaRLI/AAAAAAABzjo/p2pNuv9Sbkc/s320/Shark.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>1: <b>Shark</b> - He liked it. I liked the idea of it more than he food. &nbsp;Something kinda cool about it in a "man bites dog" sorta way.<br /><br />Did you try anything strange as a kid? &nbsp;How about kids in your life--every give them an out-of-the-ordinary food? &nbsp;Tell us in the comments below or <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">on Facebook</a> (where you can "like" our page)!Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-26218077343265771212013-01-17T08:47:00.001-05:002013-01-22T13:31:22.824-05:00Top 5 Reasons You Might Be Older Than You Thought<a href="http://kooztop5.blogspot.com/search/label/Sooz">Sooz</a> here, feelin' old and bringing you today's top 5.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gMUt84-SAtg/UPgBBMz28qI/AAAAAAABzjY/kjas_JUTwGs/s1600/Old+Lady.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gMUt84-SAtg/UPgBBMz28qI/AAAAAAABzjY/kjas_JUTwGs/s320/Old+Lady.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>5. <b>You rush to the dry cleaners</b> before they close to pick up the clothes you dropped off last week...and already picked up two days ago.<br /><br />4. <b>The station you watch</b> only shows commercials for canes, walk-in tubs, and <a href="http://www.greatcall.com/jitterbug/">The Jitterbug</a> phone.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />3. <b>You can't figure out</b> why medicine won't come out of the bottle and then realize you didn't open it first.<br /><br />2. <b>While shopping for clothes</b>, you overhear the women next to you discussing which sweater would be best for hot flashes.<br /><br />1. <b>When writing your blog</b> you either can't remember what you meant to write next or you repeat what you just said.<br /><br />1. <b>When writing your blog</b> you either can't remember what you meant to write next or you repeat what you just said.<br /><br />All true. And sad. Commiserate with me in the comments or on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">Facebook</a> (where you can "like" us as we'll).Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11694928116881302188noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512600371876802147.post-67688165132175735002013-01-16T11:42:00.001-05:002013-01-22T13:31:34.239-05:00Top 5: Yesterday Was A Good Day<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">I bitch a lot. &nbsp; But sometimes, there's nothing to complain about... &nbsp; Here are the good things that happened to me yesterday.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6_nY6_nKVlA/UPbYTSvMQnI/AAAAAAABzjI/8feeycwvZho/s1600/Portion+Control.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6_nY6_nKVlA/UPbYTSvMQnI/AAAAAAABzjI/8feeycwvZho/s320/Portion+Control.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>5: <b>I ate a single portion for dinner, and felt full and satisfied</b>. &nbsp;For some people, this is normal. &nbsp;For me, it's an accomplishment!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S5TDqMZ6GfE/UPbYRpsR13I/AAAAAAABzjA/un42y9PRPC0/s1600/LEGO+Penguin+Mini+Model+Mini+Build.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S5TDqMZ6GfE/UPbYRpsR13I/AAAAAAABzjA/un42y9PRPC0/s1600/LEGO+Penguin+Mini+Model+Mini+Build.jpg" /></a></div>4: <b>I stopped by the LEGO store and got a free mini build model</b>! &nbsp;Look at the picture--very cute, and free!<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9cySQzyIZU0/UPbYO3ELUtI/AAAAAAABzi4/SRMMO9gyPso/s1600/Package.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9cySQzyIZU0/UPbYO3ELUtI/AAAAAAABzi4/SRMMO9gyPso/s1600/Package.jpg" /></a></div>3: <b>Something I ordered online was waiting for me when I got home</b>. &nbsp;Is there anything better than coming home to a package? &nbsp;Well yeah, lots of things, but it's still pretty cool!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lH7iJ7VvvFY/UPbYNNn65jI/AAAAAAABziw/-zErLPTJ-Iw/s1600/$40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lH7iJ7VvvFY/UPbYNNn65jI/AAAAAAABziw/-zErLPTJ-Iw/s320/$40.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>2: <b>I thought I lost $40 last week, but found it in the pocket of my pants</b>. &nbsp;So it's &nbsp;a free $40! &nbsp;Sorta.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KULNMd0O9bs/UPbYKsxb55I/AAAAAAABzio/kc2Tc2ljzZY/s1600/Metro+North+Seats.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KULNMd0O9bs/UPbYKsxb55I/AAAAAAABzio/kc2Tc2ljzZY/s320/Metro+North+Seats.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>1: <b>I got seats on the train</b> going to and coming home from work, faced no traffic, and heard actual radio and no commercials for the cumulative 20 minutes I was in the car.<br /><br />All in all, not a bad day! &nbsp;It's the little things we need to remember to appreciate. &nbsp;To give us a good day today, share your thoughts/comments below, or just leave a note and say hi! &nbsp;Or, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/KoozTop5">visit us on Facebook</a> and "like" us!</div>Koozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10289919826520110862noreply@blogger.com2