The Awareness Center closed. We operated from April 30, 1999 - April 30, 2014. This site is being provided for educational & historical purposes.
We were the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA); and were dedicated to ending sexual violence in Jewish communities globally. We did our best to operate as the make a wish foundation for Jewish survivors of sex crimes. In the past we offered a clearinghouse of information, resources, support and advocacy.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

For most people, the holiday of Purim brings up great memories of dressing up in costumes and being silly. For others Purim is very difficult and confusing time of the year. It's a time that may conjure up past memories of parents or other adults who cared for them drinking a little too much alcohol and or being drunk. When this happened their parent, grandparent or another adult care provider might have lost their ability to control their anger, impulses and or inhabitions.

For some Purim often mean that families get together, routines are changed, there is also the added stress of cleaning and preparing meals. These issues alone can be extremely stress producing. Unfortunately the reality is that there are parents who are already inclined to use their children as an outlet for emotions and urges. They are even more likely to do so when under the pressure of increased anxiety. Many survivors of childhood abuse report that they were abuse became more intense around and over all holidays (both Jewish and secular holidays).

It is not uncommon for symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) to emerge after times of relative remission and/or intensify in those already struggling. You may experience an increase in disturbing thoughts, nightmares and flashbacks. Thoughts of self-harm, even suicide, may be an issue. The important thing to remember is these feelings are about the past, that the abuse is over, and that it is of utmost importance for you to be kind to and gentle with yourself.

This is written as a reminder to all survivors: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

It's important to remember that whatever works for you is OK --know that you are not alone, not wrong, not bad for having second and third and forth thoughts about how to celebrate and if to celebrate the holidays. Look into yourself and see what you need, then do what you can to do it, and be kind to yourself for needing to make these adjustments.

If you are a survivor of childhood abuse and this is a difficult time of the year for you, please make plans to be with friends or support people. Be sure to call suicide hotlines if necessary. CALL: 1-800-784-2433 and you will be connected to a crisis center nearest to you.

3 comments:

Anonymous
said...

This is excellent down to earth wisdom.I believe there is a strong connection between alcohol use, inhibitions and molestations.One of the worst results is that people "can't remember" the terrible things they did when they were drunk. This makes it difficult for children and others to confront abusers..

I came upon this site through some links, and I must tell you, this was the most wonderful piece of advice about the holidays that I have ever read. Thank you.

I was abused as a child by a parent, and every time I have to get together with family for either a yuntif (holiday), or a simcha (celebration) I get all these PTSD symptoms right beforehand - I am gripped with and immobilized by fear, etc.

This was a great post. It was so well-put. I am printing it out and saving it for those times.

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Survivors ARE Heroes!

The Awareness Center believes ALL survivors of sex crimes should be given yellow ribbons to wear proudly.

Survivors of sexual violence (as adults and/or as a child) are just as deserving of a yellow ribbon as the men and women of our armed forces, who have been held captive as hostages or prisoners of war.

Survivors of sexual violence have been forced to learn how to survive, being held captive not by foreigners, but mostly by their own family members, teachers, camp counselors, coaches babysitters, rabbis, cantors or other trusted authority figures.

For these reasons ALL survivors of sexual violence should be seen as heroes!