When we first started taking our kids out of school for a family trip, the school asked them to keep a travel journal while they were gone. They saw it as a way for the kids to do a little work while away from school and I think it is a great way for the kids to record their memories of their adventures. Plus, they get to share their journal with their classmates upon return. Win/Win! This idea of a travel journal is such a big hit in my family, that my older kids STILL do it, even though they are no longer required to do it for school.

You could just BUY a kid travel journal, but personally, I am not a fan of the “fill in the blank” type books. I think it limits kids creativity for writing. I mean, what if your kid’s best memory of the day was losing a shoe on a ride and then they had to hobble off the ride and try to find it, but couldn’t and then got a new pair of shoes? There isn’t a space or spot for that in the pre-printed journals. This is why I like to have the kids create their own.

Now, most of you know I am not crafty, so creating a travel journal has to be quick, easy, and fuss-free. And it totally is in 5 easy steps.

Creating a Kid Travel Journal

Get a spiral notebook: Spiral, in my opinion is a must. It holds up better under kid-conditions than one that isn’t wire bound. I prefer the personal sized ones for a travel journal (like the ones we used to use as assignment notebooks back in school), but you can pick whatever you think is best. You can usually find some plain ones at the Dollar Store or you can get ones that have a little more flair via Target or Amazon.

Help your child decorate the cover: You can use whatever you’d like. Sometimes we just use a little construction paper, write “Travel Journal” and secure it to the front of the book. The journal can be decorated however your child would like. Just make sure any glue is dried before packing!

What to write: The travel journal possibilities are endless and are dependent on your child’s reading/writing abilities. Younger kids could just draw a picture of what they saw/did that day. If able, they could add a word or two. Help them write the date for each entry. Older kids can be a bit more detailed with their writing.

Save room to add some photos: Totally optional, but my kids like to leave a place in their travel journal to insert a favorite photo from the day. They usually tack on one or two to each day’s entries. They also like to add favorites at the end of the travel journal (after the last entry). Sometimes add a few to the journal’s cover. We used to add these once we returned home. With the addition of the hpSprocket to our house, we can add them instantly! Right in our hotel room! Just make sure you bring extra photo paper!

Carve out time each night during your trip for your kids to write in their travel journal: This is always somewhat of a challenge for us. We tend to really pack it all in each day. Planning to settle in a little earlier gives your kids time to reflect on their day and write. It is a great way to unwind before bed. It’s also a great opportunity for quality family time while you recount the day.

Enjoy the memories

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to create or use a travel journal. The point is for your kids to document their adventures–as they see them. The really awesome part of your kids keeping a travel journal is that in a few years, they will go back through them some random, rainy, Saturday. They will giggle and gasp and say “oh I remember that”. Those moments will be priceless. Family travel is all about those memories you make. Those memories they will carry with them forever!

Gender reveal parties are an exciting way to announce the gender of your baby to friends and family. This was not something that was done back when my other five kids were in-utero, but with baby #6 we, and by we I mean my kids, have decided to share our big news in a big way.

So what do you need to plan a gender reveal party. Here are my 5 best tips for planning your big reveal.

Gender Reveal Party Tip #1: Decide who will know

Decide who will be the bearer of good news. Do you and your significant other want to know and then share with family and friends? Do you want to be a part of surprise? Deciding who will be the “keeper” of the secret until the party is your first step. When I planned my sister’s gender reveal party, she and her husband knew the baby’s gender and decided to plan that portion of the party, so that all guests would be surprised. For my party, I had the ultrasound tech place the gender results in a sealed envelope and gave the envelope to my friend who was in charge of that part of the party. I tell you, not knowing is HARD but knowing that someone else knows is even HARDER!! So decide who you want to keep the secret. Could be you, a friend or family member, or even just your local baker who specializes in gender reveal cakes. There is no right or wrong way to do it.

Gender Reveal Party Tip #2: How Will It Go Down

This is probably the most fun–planning the HOW of the reveal. Here are some suggestions

Cake/Cupcakes/Cake-Pops You or your friendly neighborhood baker can bake a cake in which the cake contains either pink or blue frosting in the center. When cake is cut or guests bite into cupcake, the gender is revealed! Here is a great tutorial from Craftsy on making gender reveal cake-pops

Balloon Box Purchase pink or blue helium latex balloons from your local party store. Seal them in a large box. when box is opened, voila!

Pop the Balloon Fill a black balloon with appropriate confetti and helium. To reveal: pop the balloon!

Silly String Purchase cans of silly string in the appropriate color. Wrap the outside of the can TIGHTLY with construction paper so no one can see the color of the string. At the same time, have everyone spray the string. This is a great idea if you have other kids.

The possibilities are endless. A simple google or Pinterest search can yield a TON of additional ideas.

Gender Reveal Party Tip #3: No Gifts

Okay so maybe not a tip so much as a guide. This isn’t meant to be a party with gifts. It is a time to share your great news with your friends/family. Some people are put-off by the idea of a gender reveal party because they think it is just another “gift-giving day”. Let your guests know ahead of time–no gifts. Some people will still feel like they want to give you a little something, which is fine, but it should not be the expectation.

Gender Reveal Party Tip #4: Record the Guesses

You can do this any number of ways:

a chalkboard or poster board where guests write their guesses

stickers/pins/beads/clothespins in pink/blue that guests wear to display their guess

photo booth–using a props, capture your guests’ guesses and print out the photos. We used our hp Sprocket for this and it was awesome to see everyone’s guess displayed during the party.

Again the possibilities are endless and an internet search will definitely help you find the perfect way to record guesses. It fun to see who was “right” once the news is revealed.

Gender Reveal Party Tip #5: Have Fun!

This isn’t an event that should stress you out. Have fun with it. It doesn’t need to be an elaborate event with hundreds of guests. Close friends and family are good or even just your own family make for a great party. This is supposed to be FUN so don’t stress the small stuff.

So there you have it– my 5 best tips for your gender reveal party. Have you hosted/attended a gender reveal party? What was your favorite part of the event? I’d love to hear about YOUR experience in the comments below.

Check out this article about the Disney themed gender reveal party I hosted for my sister

Are you a new or expecting parent? Know someone who’s expecting? If so, and you will be in the Chicago area you must plan on attending the 2017 Chicago Baby Show!

What is the Chicago Baby Show?

“The2017 Chicago Baby Show, on August 26 & 27 at Navy Pier will be part of the largest show series for new and expectant parents in the country. Built off the 7 years of success with our New York Baby Show and our inaugural LA Baby Show last year , no other event provides a better experience for thousands of expectant and new families from Chicagoland, seeking a family-friendly jamboree of top brands, great speakers and seminars, big giveaways, and lots of learning, support, bonding, and fun as you make your way into parenthood.”

Normal ticket price is $30 per family (for 2 adults and up to 4 children), and $20 per individual.

But….I’m giving away 10 FREE TICKETS.

Yep. That’s right. The first 10 people to click on the link below will receive a free ticket of their choice (family or individual) courtesy of MomTrends.

What’s the catch? Nothing! This is just a great opportunity to check out the latest in baby gear, get some great parenting info, and have a great family day.

So, click the link below, and share this post with your friends and family who might be interested. I only have 10 and once they are gone they are GONE!

Well it looks like Tiny Bits of Magic will be adding a new category to our site: Pregnancy.

Yep! In case you missed the big announcement on our Facebook page or Twitter, our family is about to become a little more magical as Baby #6 is due to arrive 1/8/18.

Shocked? Yeah, us too!

I’ve done a pretty good job of not freaking out that I’m an old..er….mama, and that my oldest is getting ready to start his senior year, and that my youngest just turned six….

Okay, maybe I AM a little pregnancy freaked. For the most part, however, I think my prenatal panic has been kept in check mainly due to this horrendous morning sickness.

And who named it morning sickness anyways? It would be a blessing if this debilitating nausea only occurred in the morning but UGH! NO! Morning, noon, and night. Sometimes it even wakes me up while I’m sleeping. Which brings me to my hunt for morning sickness remedies.

Over the years, I’ve tried EVERYTHING–after all this is not my first rodeo. While some things seem to have a temporary effect, not every thing works every time. Here are some of my best tips for combating morning sickness (still hate that term).

Morning Sickness Tips #1

Don’t let your stomach get empty. At least for me, that is always a sure way for me to become overwhelmed by nausea. And this is a hard one for me to follow too, as you can imagine with 5 kiddos, I run around constantly and most days I forget to eat. No bueno when you’re pregnant. So remember to eat–even when you’re not hungry and even if it is just a bit.

Morning Sickness Tips #2

Keep bland food handy. This goes along with #1. I keep a baggie of Cherrios in my purse and in my car. Just a handful or two can really help. And I keep some saltines next to my bed too–like I said sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night overcome with nausea.

Morning Sickness Tips #3

There is not one thing that works for everyone and what works today may not work tomorrow (or for subsequent pregnancies). That’s probably the most frustrating. I have spent WAAYY too much time looking for ways to ease my suffering only to realize that there isn’t any ONE thing that will do it. Here are some things you can try that might be helpful for you or at least ease your nausea.

Ginger. I hate ginger but Gin Gin candies were tolerable and actually helped somewhat (at least they prevented me from vomiting at my daughters’ audition. (See Amazon link below) You can also try ginger gum, ginger ale, or even ginger chews. Just be sure to look for REAL ginger on the label.

Salty/Sour. This worked better in my previous pregnancies but not this time around. Lemonade and plain salty chips. No not the healthiest choice, but it helps to calm the queasiness so maybe you can feel well enough to get some good food in. With this pregnancy, I discovered Hi-Chews, a Japanese candy (Amazon link below)I found them at Epcot at the Japanese Pavillion while I was in desperate need of relief. They are a chewy candy and they come in a sour mix (lemon, lime, grapefruit). They help with queasiness but then once I’ve finished eating it I feel queasiness from eating something with sugar 🙁

Vitamin B-6. Yeah, this one never worked for me, but I know many people have had luck with this. Check with your doctor about the correct dosage for you.

Mint Gum. This is helpful too–sometimes, but not all the time for me.

Morning Sickness Tips #4

Don’t be a hero. Morning sickness sucks and it is real. It is hard to get through the day when you feel awful ALL. THE. TIME. Take time to rest. Cut out activities that are just not necessary. Your house will be dirty, your kids may not have fancy lunches…etc but it’s okay. It won’t last forever. And for goodness sakes, let your healthcare provider know that you are feeling awful. They may be able to prescribe you medication that can help or at the very least be sure you are not suffering from something more serious like hyperemesis gravidarum.

So what is your BEST morning sickness remedy? I’d love to hear it, so comment below–maybe it will be my miracle cure!

Okay..did that title just make you cringe? If so, you have come to the right place. I have spent a good number of years on kids’ science fair. And while we may not have had any national winners in our house, I have learned a great deal about what makes a good project and what is needed to make this a positive experience for your child. So here are six tips for your next science fair project.

#1 Know The Requirements For YOUR Science Fair:

All schools/districts/competitions are different, so know what it is the judges will be looking for. At our elementary school, only science EXPERIMENTS from 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders are eligible to move on to the regional competition. In case you don’t know:

A science EXPERIMENT tests ONE variable : Like which battery lasts the longest. The variable tested here is the battery.

A science DEMONSTRATION shows a science theory in action: Like making a volcano or a potato battery

The requirements for our middle and high schools are different too. So my point is before you start helping your child choose a project, look over the information provided regarding your school’s requirements. If you are still in doubt ASK.

The basic science fair project board components are:

Abstract

Background

Purpose

Hypothesis

Materials

procedure

Data/Results

Conclusion

You will also need a few photos taken during the experiment and, depending on your fair’s requirements, a works cited page.

Again, I cannot stress this enough… be sure to double-check YOUR SCIENCE FAIR REQUIREMENTS before starting your project. Every grade level, every school, every competition is different so make sure you understand what is expected of your child.

#2 Choose An Interesting Science Fair Project:

May sound easier than you think. Choosing a project can be challenging. While you’ll want to help your kiddo pick a project that is “cool”, the best results come when your child has a project that he/she is excited about and is within their learning level. Our go-to site for project ideas is Science Buddies. It’s a great site that has tons of project ideas. You can search for a project by subject material (chemistry, biology..etc), project duration, difficulty, and cost. You can also use their topic selection wizard tool which can help find a project based on a few questionnaire answers. Whatever topic your child chooses, make sure it is something that really interests them. They will be spending a good amount of time on the project and it will make the process much easier if it is a subject that is interesting to THEM.

#3 Start Science Projects EARLY!:

Okay, I always fail on this tip–ALWAYS. Something always comes up and next thing I know it’s two weeks until the project is due. Life is so much easier when you start it as early as you can. It will ease frustrations and keep the chaos down to a minimum…especially if you are like me and have multiple kids doing projects.

#4 As A Parent, You Will Need To Help With Science Fair:

Yes, it is their project. Yes, they need to do the work.

However…..

You will need to help. How much help your child needs will depend on their age and the project. I am in no way suggesting you become lab partners here but they will need help. Whether it is gathering/purchasing supplies, holding a timer, proofreading an abstract…etc your little scientist will need you.

As a side note: Sometimes, especially at the elementary level, the kids are not well versed in the terms necessary for science fair. Sometimes, parents are not well versed in the terms necessary for science fair. If your kid is at the elementary level, you may need to teach them about the scientific process. This is a great (short) article about the scientific process . Students at the elementary level just haven’t learned about the scientific process yet, so it is important they understand the concept before the project starts.

#5 Make Sure the Science Fair Project Board is Eye Catching:

Make sure the project board is aesthetically appealing. Make sure your categories, written sheets, photos, and tables/graphs are all evenly spaced. Add in decoration/cutouts that are related to the experiment give projects a little extra appeal, but DON’T OVERDO IT! The focus for anyone looking at the board should be the project, not the glitter and flashing lights. Typing is ALWAYS better. If you have access to a computer and printer, type everything. Type everything in simple, easy to read font size and style. The rule is that The headings should be visible from across the room and the text (project write ups) should be easy to read if someone is standing in front of your board. Again, here for the younger Einsteins, parents may have to help with this part, as little fingers can get quite fatigued!

#6 Enjoy The Science Fair Experience:

So often I hear from other parents how science fair sucks and they don’t have time for that kind of hassle and it is not worth it. Okay, parents I say this with love…lots and lots of love. If science fair is something your kiddo wants to do, if it is something that interests him/her, something that excites him/her….then science fair is not something you should think of as an inconvenience.

Don’t get me wrong, science fair time isn’t always joy and roses around here–no sir. There are instances of..ahem…”raised” voices and frustration. But there is also a lot of good that comes out of doing these projects.

You GET TO watch your child learn and apply new knowledge and skills. You GET TO see their “lightbulb” moment. You GET TO spend one-on-one time with them. But best of all you GET TO see their faces fill with pride and excitement when their project is complete. So don’t think of this as a hassle (even though it can sometimes feel like it), think of this as a gift, an opportunity to share in something really special with your kid and then enjoy the experience.

I know, I know. Right now you’re thinking you cannot possibly add any more to your already busy holiday schedule. I get it, but trust me when I say you are going to WANT to find time for these family holiday traditions!

Family Holiday Tradition #1

Stamp wrapping paper. This is not a Christmas exclusive tradition; you could stamp paper for Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, winter, or even Festivus. I started stamping Christmas paper with my son when he was 7 months old. He is now 16 and we have created our own unique wrapping every year since. Start off by purchasing wrapping paper that is actually paper—anything that has a shimmer or gloss will not hold the ink as well. We like to buy a large roll of plain white wrapping paper, found at any craft store. We roll the paper out on our kitchen floor into sections and stamp way. Once we have filled the exposed part of the roll with festive and colorful stamps, we roll the stamped section and roll out the next blank section. Repeat until you’ve stamped the whole roll

Family Holiday Tradition #2

Kids’ Secret Santa. What a better way to teach your kids to embrace the spirit of giving during the holidays than with a Secret Santa exchange. It works well in our house, since we have five kids. If your household is a bit smaller, feel free to incorporate grown ups into the fun. The rules in our house are simple; you have to leave a secret gift for the person you chose at least once a week. Gifts can be small or handmade. One final and a bit larger gift is given during the “big reveal” on Christmas Eve. Our Secret Santa fun starts the weekend after thanksgiving when we pick names. I then take the kids to the Dollar Tree or Five Below where they pick up supplies for their gifts. The older kids use their own money earned from doing chores around the house while I help the little ones financially. The kids get so excited on “shopping day”. It is truly incredible to see how much thought they put in to the gifts for their siblings. Remember, the gift doesn’t have to be expensive or even purchased. Getting creative is part of the fun…. a homemade coupon book, handmade bracelets or pictures, the sky is the limit. The point of the tradition is three-fold, and it is not about the gifts. Number one, you are teaching your kids the true meaning of the holidays by giving them the opportunity to truly GIVE to one another. They are sacrificing their own time and money to purchase or create gifts of their own idea for someone else. Second, you are creating an opportunity for each kid to really see their sibling as a person. It’s a chance to really THINK about what their sibling’s interests are and what their sibling would really like. That kind of consideration doesn’t come easily to kids…especially if you have a large age gap between your oldest and youngest. It gives the chance kids to get to know one another and really see each other as people, not just as another kid in the house. Thirdly, your kids are making Christmas memories TOGETHER, memories they will keep forever.

Family Holiday Tradition #3

Cookies: If you are not doing this, give it a try. Yes, I know it’s messy and takes a ton of time and it’s messy (did I mention that already?), but really it’s worth it. You don’t have to make 70 different kinds of cookies. You don’t even have to make your own dough, buying refrigerated cookie dough or the pre mixed dry packaged cookie dough will suffice. The kids will not care. The fun comes from making their own treats with you by their side. Each of the kids has his/her own favorite, but their collective vote for cookie is definitely for sugar cookies. Not only can they cut the cookies into shapes shapes, but they can decorate them too. Yes, I did mention messy…but trust me, it is so worth the clean up!

Family Holiday Tradition #4

Let the kids pick their own ornament. This is a yearly tradition in our home as well. We let the kids pick out their own ornament, something that represents who they are right at this moment in time. Yes, my Type-A mama personality does guide them a bit but for the most part, I let them go at it. It is great to see what they pick and it is even more exciting to open the boxes of ornaments every year and see all of those memories.

Christmas can be such a busy time. With all that we THINK we need to get done during this time of the year, it is easy to lose sight of what the season is REALLY all about. Creating traditions within your family makes your family stronger, provides opportunities for everyone to interact with one another, creates a bond between family members, and makes each member feel as though they a part of something special. Traditions are important, so take a deep breath this holiday season and go make some family memories!

Today is election day. You gotta get out and vote, regardless of how angry or disenchanted you feel about the election and the candidates.

Now that we have that PSA out of the way, let’s get real for a moment about this election. I know many of you are frustrated, angry even, over the choices we have before us. Perhaps you feel, as many do, that the two candidates do not represent you, or your ideals, or what you think the united states should be. I get it. I really do. But what you have to remember is this:

YOU AS A PARENT WILL

LEAD THIS NATION

That’s right folks, YOU!
You may not be president, but you have the POWER and the ability to shape our great nation through your kids. One man or woman will NOT/does NOT define this country. We, as individuals, define ourselves and this country. We, as parents, define our households and in turn shape our communities. We, as parents, have the ability to create a nation full of caring, loving, HONEST, and hard-working people.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE ELECTION RESULTS WON’T MATTER

Harsh, right? But it’s true. Tomorrow morning, regardless of who our president-elect is, our lives will go on. There will be spelling tests to study for or a basketball game to play. Life as we know it will continue and I don’t say that to belittle the election but to give you all that light at the end of the tunnel. The election IS important and you SHOULD go out and vote, but tomorrow is not the first day of the rest of our lives. We, as parents, will continue to nurture and teach our children–just like we do EVERY DAY. We will continue to create kids with morals and values, who look to help their fellow humans in time of need, who will see the value of hard work, perseverance, honesty, and be pure in heart.

LISTEN UP PARENTS!

You are the ones who will lead our great nation. You are the ones who have the power to change the imperfections of this country. You are the ones who can bring together both sides of the isle. Our great nation starts right in YOUR living room. It starts with raising good people. So while the next four years may suck from a political stand point, I do NOT believe that this country will by any means be going backwards. While Washington progress may come to a halt over the next four years, our nation as a whole will not because every day, all over America, we have the chance to make a difference through our kids.

Everyday presents an opportunity to teach our kids how to be good people, to frame the future of this country. We can raise our kids with those same ideals that founded this great nation! Never, EVER, forget that this country is not defined by one leader, but collectively by its citizens! So, let us go out there and continue to raise our kids to become a nation of good people!

Well you asked. You wanted to know how I was doing after dropping our last baby off at kindergarten. I didn’t want to tell you because it is really something I don’t think you CAN understand. Our roles in our kids’ lives are different–both essential, but different. You come home at the end of the day for dinner and bedtime, so whether the kids are here or not during the day really has no bearing on your normal daily events. For me, the kids have been my full time job. Their constant care and well being the center of my very existence. With our last one off to school, I guess you could say I feel…….unemployed.

Picture for a moment you walk into work tomorrow and your “boss” tells you “Thanks for all of your hard work for the last twenty years, but you can go home now. Oh and by the way, you can never work in the rubber and plastics industry again. Have a great rest of your life.” What would you do? Your whole self is now changed–gone, abruptly and irreversibly, because that which has defined you for so long is over. How would you feel? Chances are you’d feel lost. I mean, you’ve spent a major part of your life at this company. You’ve worked hard and it wasn’t just a job but an integral part of who you are. But it’s over. And not only is it over, but you cannot go back to doing that very thing you loved, the thing that has defined you for so long. Now what?

Now what, indeed.

For the past 16 years, raising our kids has been my job. It has been the center of my every day for those 16 years and has been what defines me, my purpose for existence entirely since giving up my nursing career 11 years ago. There are no regrets of being an at-home mom, of giving up a job I loved–NONE at all. I have embraced every moment and am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be with our kids, to have raised them, to have been there to teach them, play with them, and love them. I think I’ve been pretty great at it too. But now what?

The tears I shed when dropping off our baby at school isn’t just for her, it is for me too. Yes, I miss her like crazy, just like I miss all of her sibling. But I know she is ready and she will go on to do great things. I cannot confidently say those same things about myself.

If you were to lose your job, your friends and family would rally around you, offer words of wisdom, comfort you for as long as it took for you to figure things out.

I have lost my job…

and yet I am expected to be happy. I am supposed to be celebrating this new-found freedom and be willing to “let them go”. But I don’t want to let them go. I don’t want to let them go because I don’t want to let myself go. It’s not that I don’t want our kids to move on to greater things in life, because I do. I just don’t know how to move on by myself–as just me.I

So, my tears spilled, dear husband, are not just for my babies growing up. As sad as I am to let them go and as much as I miss them, I knew it was inevitable, as it is part of life. My tears are shed in mourning for who I have been for the last 16 years. They are tears for the uncertain future of me.

I’m sitting here at the DMV waiting for my son to take his permit test. It’s nerve wracking, first for the actual test and second that he is actually on the “road” so to speak, to becoming an adult. It’s scary how quickly kids grow up. Really, wasn’t it just last week he was having a light saber battle with his brother? Okay, that actually did happened last week. But seriously, it doesn’t seem that long ago I was rocking him to sleep or dancing to The Wiggles with him.

I can remember people saying to me how I should enjoy every minute with my kids because it goes too fast. I have definitely savored every moment but I will be the first to tell you it goes by entirely too quickly. What’s even worse is that the bigger the kid, the bigger the problems. I can remember when my biggest concern with my oldest was getting him to sleep through the night or making sure he was eating enough vegetables. Those concerns are so miniscule compared to what lies ahead. This simple test he takes today opens a whole new can of kid-worry worms. Give me the sleepless nights with a newborn any day because the worry you face with a teenage driver pales in comparison. Makes me feel a little dumb for those moment when I felt overwhelmed by the stress of potty training. I thought I knew parenting stress but, goodness, I have been on easy street.

I tell my sister, who just had her first baby, to enjoy these days with her sweet baby girl. This is the easy part. She , of course, laughs at me and thinks I have forgotten the demands of a newborn. Oh no–I certainly do not. But, I long for the sleepless nights, cold meals, and showerless days. I’d take them back in a heartbeat. Little kids equal little worries

and nothing, at least as of this moment, can compare to the anxiety I feel as my son begins to drive. As I am ending this post, he has just passed his test. The excitement in his eyes is contagious. While I know this is not going to be easy, it is a rite of passage–a step in growing up. As much as it pains me to think about it, that was always the goal of being parent right? For now, I am going to continue to enjoy whatever stage he’s in because I know it won’t be long before this, too, is a distant memory.

I know, I know…..I can hardly believe I am saying it myself and I am most certain that my husband just gasped as he read this title, as he admittedly suffers form triskaidekaphobia (the fear of the number 13). When the clock struck midnight, announcing the start of the new year, my husband was filled with dread, as he was most certain that 2013 would be a terrible year. I thought he was crazy…but after these past 12 months, I’m thinking that perhaps there is something to his paranoia.

It started with a few household mechanical breakdowns–each getting progressively more expensive. Not a big deal–not enough to make me a believer. However, by summer our year continued to spiral downward as we lost my mother-in-law quite unexpectedly, DH’s uncle, and watched as one of our beloved friends lost his dad–all within a 7 week period. It was during this time that we were dealing with our greatest challenges yet, as individuals and as parents, as we were faced with our own health crisis.

It started in May when DH returned home from a business trip and started complaining about a sore throat. No big deal, I thought. I figured he just caught something while he was away. His throat continued to feel “thick” for two more weeks before I began to get concerned. He said he thought his neck felt swollen. Being an RN I figured I’d poke around, see if he maybe needed to go get checked out. Holy cow! I was so not prepared for what I felt. His left lymph node was a bit larger in size than a golf ball. The other was relatively normal. Unfortunately, being a nurse sometimes works against me in situations like these, as I immediately jump the worst case scenario. I urged him to call his doctor first thing in the morning, which he did but his doctor was not working that day. He spent all day waiting for a call for an appointment from her back up–which he did not get. There was no way I was going to wait for Monday for answers, so I convinced him to go to urgent care–a place my family is usually forbidden to visit unless it is a life or death situation (you leave those places sicker than when you went in!). I sat anxiously awaiting his text updates: “waiting in room” ,”swabbing for strep”, “having X-ray”. Finally he saw the doctor, who said she had never encountered a lymph node that large and suspected that, pending results of the other tests, that it might be lymphoma. However, a few minutes later, his strep test came back positive –never thought I’d be that relieved for strep! The doctor prescribed him antibiotics but was still suspicious about his lymph node. She instructed him to call his doctor on Monday for a follow up and would send all the tests results and xrays to her. Meanwhile, if the node was enlarged due to strep, it should decrease in size over the weekend as a result of treatment.

Needless to say, it was a long weekend. I must have palpated that node a thousand times and drove DH crazy. By Monday, the node seemed smaller to me, so when he called his doctor that morning, he figured there was no harm in waiting till Wednesday for an appointment. Then, we got THE CALL.

The call was from the radiology department where he had his chest X-ray–his precautionary, cover-all-our-bases chest X-ray. I figured they were looking for payment. I couldn’t have been more wrong. They informed DH that the xray found a 5mm node on his lung. They advised him to see his doctor right away for follow up testing–thank you, have a nice day.

I can’t honestly say I saw that coming. The next couple of days were a blur of worry and feverishly searching the Internet for something, ANYTHING that would tell me he would be okay, but the Internet is really full of crap and bad news. There wasn’t anything remotely reassuring. As a matter of fact, it made me feel worse. Cancer, cancer, cancer–that’s all that Google could find. Even when found at a small size, the chances of survival were 80%. That meant I had a 20% chance of losing my husband–that was not good enough for me!

At his Wednesday appointment, his doctor was quite reassuring. She was certain that this was probably nothing, especially given his age, history, and non-smoker status, but she sent him for a CT just as a precaution. The news was WORSE! The CT showed the node was actually larger than the xray had indicated–8mm. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. What next? The industry standard, is, since he doesn’t have any risk factors, to wait and see and do another CT in 6-12 months. His doctor, who is really so good, offered to set up an appointment with a pulmonologist. After frantically contacting anyone I knew who would have a recommendation, we settled on one that was said to be the best, and made the first available appointment, which wasn’t for two weeks.

It was only about a week later that I was getting out of the shower after coaching DD8’s softball game that I noticed “IT”–“IT” being a lump in my armpit and yes I could actually see it. I wasn’t going to waste any time. I called my doctor at 8am that next morning and they were able to get me in within the hour. I wasn’t even going to tell DH, he had enough on his plate, but I figured the kids would spill the beans that I was gone with Baby Girl that morning. My doctor, too, was very reassuring. Thought it was just a lymph node and wanted to wait and see for two weeks, at which time we would do a mammogram. Okay, so I lost it at lymph node. Really lost it. How could this be happening? How could DH and I be facing such major issues–what if we both had cancer? How would we care for each other? Who would take care of our kids?

I’d like to say that in those two weeks I found inner peace or came up with a reassuring mantra–but I didn’t. Every single one of those days I struggled every minute to keep it together, for DH and for the kids. I tried so hard to be that rock he needed and keep our kids in the dark about what was going on. For two weeks I lived minute to minute, one foot in front of the other. There wasn’t anything profound that I discovered, nothing that I can share that make anything easier. I was scared as hell every single second–nothing profound or inspiring about that.

Like I said, I was, we were, living minute to minute, playing outside with the kids, sitting, trying to enjoy the summer evenings with a beer. We tried to maintain some sort of normalcy for the kids, despite how jazzed up we were on the inside. However, things started to change between DH and I. We were saying “I love you” daily, something that had been lost somewhere in our 16 years of marriage. We went out of our way to be kind and the petty arguing slipped away because quite honestly, it wasn’t worth the time we had. We lived life like each day was our last and did not spend a moment taking each other, or anyone else, for granted.

I spent a lot of time with the kids that summer doing what we called “life lessons”. Facing my own mortality, I worried who would be around to teach them stuff if I were sick–or not around at all. There was this sort of overwhelming panic that set in, I felt like I was running out of time. They needed to know how to change a diaper, do laundry, mail a letter–simple everyday things. We also spent time talking about what it means to be a lady and a man, how my “men” should treat a lady and how my “ladies” should expect to be treated by a man. Not the strangest dinner conversation we’ve ever had, but probably one of the more important ones.

DH’s appointment came and went. The pulmonologist stated that the node was too small for a biopsy and that there wasn’t anything to do but watch it. DH’s rescan and follow-up were scheduled for three months later, three days before his 42nd birthday. My two week recheck showed no change in the lump in my armpit and my doctor scheduled a mammogram for the next week. I spent that whole week googling the size, shape, and hardness of my lump which was a total waste of time. There wasn’t anything anyone could tell me. I knew there was only one way to find out for certain what that lump was and it wasn’t though the Internet. My Google searches about mammograms were almost worse, scaring me so much about the procedure itself that I almost did not go. I remember sitting in my parked car outside the the building and seriously considering NOT going in. My rational side won. I went in, alone, by my own choice. My sister, DH and BFF all offered to go with me, but I didn’t think they needed that kind of burden-especially DH. The last thing he needed was to sit in that waiting room, thinking about my fate-our fate. I waited for my name to be called and stood there, squish after squish and laid on the table during customary ultra sound. The news was good! The lump was (is) a normal lymph node. It was our first piece of good news all year. I cried as I got dressed and texted DH the news. Our relief was short lived as we headed “home” right after my appointment to make arrangements for my mother-in-law’s funeral.

I spent all summer in conflict, trying to savor every moment but wishing September and DH’s appointment would arrive quickly. Finally, the day arrived with the second best news we could’ve received from that appointment (the first, of course, being that the node had completely vanished). The node had not changed in three months. However, since it had not, a biopsy still could not be done to definitively rule out cancer and we would have to wait 18months for his next follow up. If all looks the same March 2015, he will be in the clear. Not great news, but better news.

I feel like I should enter a disclaimer here for those reading this who know us personally. DH and I are not the kind of people who air all our laundry via social media sites nor did we feel like we should burden those around us with worry over all that transpired. Talking about it and telling people made it more real, and we just we not ready for that. I hope you will understand.

The rest of this year moved forward with other unfortunate events, that individually would not be a big deal, but combined with the rest of our year, make our snowball of misfortune bigger. There are 3 days left in 2013, and I can tell you we are anxiously hold our breath until that clock strikes 12. As I am writing this, DH has our dishwasher pulled out–apparently it has a crack and is leaking water all over the kitchen floor…….

By now you are probably thinking “I thought this was supposed to be about how this was the best year”, so I will finally get to my point. This year, I have learned a lot about myself and others. The events that occurred, both of us facing cancer, losing DH’s mom, watching our good friend lose his dad…etc, made me realize how much I take for granted and how petty I had been. I had been living my life getting angry, and mostly at DH, over stupid things that didn’t even matter. I was wasting my time, my precious time, with him by being mad rather than loving him like I should, like he deserved. I took for granted that he would always be there, there would always be time. I realized there would come a day when that would not be the case. The idea of losing him was, and is still, such a crushing fear that makes it difficult to breathe.

I realized that my views on things, regardless of how “right” I think I am, isn’t always correct. That inability to see things from others’ point of view has cost me two of my best friends and everyday I feel that sadness deep in my gut. A lot of time has passed–maybe too much to ever get it back. I will keep trying, but I know there are some times in life where there just isn’t a second chance. A new day means a new opportunity to keep trying to make a change, set things right, to make the most of every moment you are given because you never know when what you have will be gone.

As for DH and I, well the fear of losing one another has strengthened our relationship. Every day we say “I Love You” and we make it a point to spend somewhat alone time together by going out to dinner a couple of times a month-just us and Baby Girl (that is the nice thing about having a teenager–he can watch his younger sibling for a couple of hours). I’m not going to lie and say we don’t bicker because we still do sometimes. What has changed is the harboring of anger about these stupid things for days or even weeks. We have learned the importance of appreciating each other and have been reminded that although we promised to love one another forever, we don’t have forever.

So to 2013 I’d like to say good riddance but in the midst of all that we have endured, I have become better, my relationships are better, and life, in this moment, is good. That is what has made 2013 the best year yet.

I'm Marge, content creator and mama of five. Here you will find my best advice, tips, and information on parenting, family travel, and healthy family living. Real information for real parents--coming from my own "in the trenches" experiences with my very own tiny bits of magic--my kids.