Sharma Howard: Children can learn, adapt to difficult economic times

Monday

Sep 29, 2008 at 12:01 AMSep 29, 2008 at 11:17 AM

For us, and many other middle-class American households, it’s not going to be a Wii Christmas. Bonuses, raises and cost of living are all being taken off the table in this economy for hosts of people. And those are the lucky ones. The unlucky are unemployed.

Sharma Howard

There’s one word no parent wants to hear before Halloween: Christmas.

But it’s been uttered in our home, of course.

For us, and many other middle-class American households, it’s not going to be a Wii Christmas. Bonuses, raises and cost of living are all being taken off the table in this economy for hosts of people. And those are the lucky ones. The unlucky are unemployed.

But many children won’t understand these nuances, and to bemoan them will only stir worry they already have intuitively understood.

Understandably, Christmas is a time associated with presents. For better or worse, it’s how we have come to celebrate the “season of giving.” So I officially banned the mention of Christmas. It’s not to be a Scrooge, but to get my sons to look at it with another lens.

It’s a discussion parents might want to have now, rather than later. I didn’t want it to present a negative approach, which is easy to do right now when President Bush has basically declared the possibility of a “Grapes of Wrath” scenario as federal officials try to bail out Wall Street. Images that have been seared into memory about the bread lines of the Great Depression are all you can conjure, making the unknown even scarier.

I’ve long balked at Christmas being a materialistic free fall, but it seems whether parents do that or not, they are doomed to be swept into the vortex of the season. Who doesn’t want to make her child happy at Christmas?

Now that my sons are older, I would like them to begin to understand the giving side more, especially in these hard times.

It seems to me the warmth of Christmas is felt most profoundly with the traditions families hold dear, time spent together and reaching out to those less fortunate.

Baking cookies, watching favorite movies with some home-baked goodies, caroling and bringing food or toys to an appropriate organization will all help regulate the excitement that escalates during “the season.”

Reach out
“We are such a materialistic society. To get interactive with things might help,” said Liz Prete, a child and adult therapist who practices in Waterford.

And by reaching out to others less fortunate, Prete said, children will feel better.

“By turning it into a giving situation instead of getting, it helps kids feel good,” she said.

Another important aspect of the season is to respect others’ religious observances, and gently remind your children to recognize some of their classmates may not be celebrating Christmas.

This year, we will be asking our boys to spend their own allowance on each other, declining gifts from them ourselves, except for handmade ones. We are sure to be met with groans of protest, but it will ultimately bolster their pride, as well as the understanding of the work that goes into giving.

Of course there will be disappointments this Christmas under a lighter tree, but if children truly understand you are proud of whatever you are able to do, most will follow suit with the spirit and ideal of whatever you are able to do, and most will follow suit with the spirit and ideal of Christmas. Children’s compassion, and inherent resiliency, after all, could be what buoys us all through these difficult times.

The Norwich Bulletin

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