The Bachelorette Recap: Two ‘Horses’ (Twilley and Sean) Sent to the You-Know-What Factory

Another week, another rose ceremony. The final six horses in the race (Sean’s constant equine metaphors have rubbed off) for Deanna’s heart were whisked away to Palm Springs without the pressure of on-date roses in order to get them “to open up completely and put their whole hearts on the line.”

DeAnna Tells AllBut before there could be fun in the sun, there was a very special Bachelorette episode–a mid-season heart-to-heart with Chris Harrison called DeAnna Tells All, a first special of this type for the series. DeAnna revealed she didn’t know Ryan was a virgin until she watched the first episode, admitted she was embarrassed for Paul and his “tiny bathing suit,” lamented the dismissal of “perfect guy Richard” who she just “couldn’t fall in love with,” recounted the fiascos that were the Bunkhouse BBQ and Graham’s racetrack rebuff, and swore she has “different relationships and feelings for each and every one of the final six” and “faith that my husband is here.”

The Return of Trista and RyanThe filler hour also featured a hometown visit with Trista and Ryan, the First Family of The Bachelor/Bachelorette series in Vail, Colo. It would be so easy to hate Trista after listening to her blather on about her perfect life, husband and kid if she wasn’t so darn sweet and cute. Her picks for the last men standing? Graham and Jason–although she can’t wait to see the exotic overnight dates because that’s when she fell in love with Ryan.

The Remaining Guys: An In-Depth LookNext up, in-depth looks at the boys in their own environments except Graham, whose segment seemed like a montage of past confessional clips. Jason’s piece was also a little short on personal footage as he spent his time contemplating whether DeAnna was ready to become a stepmom. Jesse waxed poetic about his many job-related injuries and his “dude-bro hair.” He gets points for coining our new favorite phrase but really, D, does this guy have long-term potential? Twilley showed off his proficiency for making porno sound effects and copped to feeling more comfortable with a pencil and sketch pad than a pigskin despite the fact that his father played for the Miami Dolphins for 11 years. Jeremy drove around on his crotch rocket, played with his best friend and dog and sweetly admitted he “is completely upside down over Deanna.” Sean, by a brandslide, err, landslide, offered the most amusing peek into his personal world filled with designer clothes, facial creams, Louis Vuitton luggage, sauna for “losing water weight” and personal tanning booth, which he owns “because the darker you are, the thinner you look.” We also learned where he got a haircut in the middle of the competition despite being sequestered.

Let the Dates Begin!After DeAnna closed her special by claiming she doesn’t have a favorite at this point in the game, it was time to descend on the desert and get their R&R on! And what better place for the reality hotties to camp out at than The Parker, a former star of its own short-lived Bravo reality show. Sean got the first solo date and was asked to put the “fun” in funicular. He lucked out as DeAnna’s fear of heights led to some pretty tight hand squeezing and some head-to-chest burrowing on the ride up to the mountain top where dinner awaited. He wooed her with horse and gun metaphors, leading her to invite him back for dessert in her suite. And then, STOP! Hammock time, oh-oh-oh-oh! There was some shoulder petting, usage of the term “baby,” kissing and a declaration from Sean that “tonight was in my favor as far as moving on to the final four.”

The group date note arrived and upon hearing his name, Twilley, who had yet to get a solo outing, was disappointed big time.DeAnna attempted to make him feel more special by reserving one helicopter for the two of them while a second one ferried Jesse, Jason and Graham to a sandstorm for some four-wheeling fun. He couldn’t get the door open for her from the outside or inside, he suffered motion sickness in the chopper and she was afraid he was going to barf in her lap. Back on land, Jesse showed off his extreme skills on an ATV – leaving DeAnna feeling all hot and bothered for the first time.

Later, they retreated to the hotel pool for some fierce chicken fights and cannonballs. Jesse furthered his dude-bro image by chucking the object of his affection into the water at an awkward angle that made a very loud slap and triggered quite a grimace from her. Even more awkward? After abruptly stealing her away from a miffed Jason, Jesse clearly missed all the signs that DeAnna was “sick for him” and wanted to smooch. He just kept talking to fill the silence that should have been occupied by slurping. Maybe he reversed the numbers on Richard’s 80-20 rule… He leaned in 20 percent and her eyes started to close happily and then he babbled some more until Graham came and rescued her, saying he “hoped it wasn’t an inopportune time.” (Watch the clip.) Little did he know, how prescient that statement was. And then, STOP! Hammock time! Graham, it seems, is a faster learner than Jesse. He didn’t hold back his kisses or his abs of steel this week.

DeAnna picked up Jeremy for the last single date in a vintage convertible, and in a signature girls-can-play-as-hard-as-boys move, she opened his door and insisted on driving them to Frank Sinatra’s old pad. There was some hard-on-the-ears karaoke of Old Blue Eyes ballads, some dancing, and a whole lot of smooching in the spa. Even though back at the hotel the competition was calling him a mutant and teasing that he was plugged into the Matrix, DeAnna has clearly taken the blue pill in order to remain in her fantasy world with Jeremy. She said: “He’s that perfect guy. He has everything that any woman would want. I want so badly to fall in love with him.” He said: “I forget that the world is going on around me. She makes me want to take a relationship to a level I have never experienced before.”

And Then There Were FourFlash forward to rose ceremony night. It was obvious that Twilley’s time was up. But the second choice of Sean was a tad more surprising, considering she had previously said that had there been a rose on their date she would have given it to him. By the look on his face, Sean was shocked, too. He managed to get in one last horse race allusion and one more heartfelt “baby” before DeAnna toasted to her growing excitement for next week’s hometown dates with the four remaining bachelores. – Carrie Bell

Tell us: What was your favorite part of last night’s episode? Which guy are you rooting for as we head into next week’s hometown visits?