Spot on!! I remember this as leaving you very vulnerable and honest to people you trusted and felt safe with, back at LHS. Gregory Bateson wrote about this experience as a “double bind”. He really saw it as crazy-making. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregory_Bateson#Double_bind for a short explanation or Steps to an Ecology of Mind for the full academic treatment. This insight really helped me gain perspective on my own detached, but “loving” family.

I know that the “three little words” can be used as a wedge or a passive-aggressive plea, but as a parent of a kid who is just learning to talk, I want to say it to my son as much as possible. That’s not because it’s gratifying to hear him say it back (though it does make me happy), but because I want him to hear it from me all the time.