Archive for 2020

Tourist: Why does everyone on this train look so sad? Everybody looks like they’re having the worst day. [To girl sitting next to him] Are you having a bad day?Girl: No.Tourist: Probably because it’s so cold here. Is it always so cold here?Girl: No. It’s really cold for March.Tourist: It’s too cold to go swimming, isn’t it?Girl: Yes.Tourist: Oh, well. We’re headed uptown. What do you think my chances of seeing Woody Allen are?Girl: Very slim.

Teen girl #1: I like him cause he’s tough, but he ain’t thug. Teen girl #2: Oh, he’s thug. He got that tattoo, he wears his pants all baggy and he got that great big coat. Teen girl #1: Yeah, he got that tattoo, but them other things…he just short.

Suit: Where are you going? Guy: Why does it matter to you? I never got in someone else’s cab before. Suit: How about an area: Midtown, Downtown, West Side? Guy: Maybe if you got into a cab on a downtown avenue and not 2nd Avenue, you would have your own cab.

College girl: Whenever I tell anyone that I was there when you dislocated your shoulder they ask if it’s my fault ’cause we were having sex.20-ish guy: Hahaha! Yeah, me, too. I had one guy ask me, ‘Did it happen while you were [pelvic thrusts] uh, uh, uh?’College girl, excitedly: That’s exactly what my dad said!

Woman on cell: Well, you can’t just go handing out sanitary napkins to everyone!

–15th & Union Square East

Loud girl on cell: Yeah, so he was going for it, and I was like, “No, baby, I can’t tonight,” and he was like, “Why?” and I was like, “I got it today,” and he was like, “Aww, then nothing for a whole week!”