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The following is a transcript of The Zero Hour Radio Broadcast and Podcast originally aired on March 7, the evening following the Bloomington Blast.

(BEGIN TRANSCRIPT.)

(CUE INTRO MUSIC.)

Conspiracy Carl:

This is The Zero Hour and I am Conspiracy Carl. Tonight! Everybody is talking about it—the Big Bang in Bloomington, Kansas!

Co-host Mark Devin:

Oh man.

Carl: I know, right? Did you see the YouTube feed? The one from that cop’s dashboard?

Devin: Amazing. Just amazing.

Carl: He pulled someone over for speeding, or drinking, or whatever, and then in the distance, there—

Devin: BOOM.

Carl: And they were what, ten miles away from the epicenter?

Devin: At least. At least ten. Highway Patrolman, I think.

Carl: And then, you know, you see this bright flash in the distance, and then that shockwave hits. Flattens some trees, throws the cop and the speeder right on their backs and the picture cuts out.

Devin: Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.

Carl: Really? Gives me a boner. That video has gotten like a million hits already, and it’s not been a full day!

Devin: And all from a fertilizer plant explosion? Really?

Carl: That’s the official report, which, you know, we never go by. But for those of you out there who don’t know what we’re talking about . . .

Devin: Shame on you.

Carl: You uninformed schmucks are what’s wrong with America! We’re talking about a major explosion that flattened Bloomington, Kansas. Killed a ton of people. I think the current number is three hundred now, probably more, with injuries reported in the thousands. That doesn’t include the airliner that got hit by debris and then crashed onto a cornfield. There were probably at least a hundred on board that thing. No survivors. Hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of damage. It’s a mess!

Devin: What was the damage of the Oklahoma City bombing? It was big. I don’t think it was this big, but it was big.

Carl: No, this is bigger. Everything within a five-mile radius was just flattened. Gone.

Devin: There wasn’t much there to begin with. I mean, Bloomington’s a pretty small town.

Carl: Yah, it’s plenty rural. Lots of farmland and cows and stuff. Still. Have you seen the satellite pics?

Devin: Not yet.

Carl: Check these out. These were taken about two hours after the blast. Listeners can see them on our website. Look! You have this crazy blast radius that goes on forever—-but look at the center.

Devin: Weird!

Carl: No crater! The blast surface is so smooth. Now how do you explain that? A blast that big having no crater?

Devin: Daisy cutter, like they used in Iraq. All they do is surface damage and scare the hell out of—

Carl: I don’t think so. This is no daisy cutter. This is new. You listen to the “official” story, and the government loads you up with all this nonsense about a fertilizer plant with dangerous working conditions, like that time out in Texas.

Devin: It’s happened.

Carl: What? Like this?

Devin: Then what? A bomb? Who would want to bomb Bloomington, Kansas?

Carl: I’m just saying . . . you know where the epicenter is?

Devin: It’s hard to tell.

Carl: I cross-referenced this pic with Google maps, and according to that, it originated at a Quickie Mart.

Devin: Where was the fertilizer plant?

Carl: Ten blocks over! It wasn’t even a real plant so much as a waste treatment center.

Devin: Maybe the fuel reserves got lit up at the Mart.

Carl: Quickies only sell groceries. The one gas station they have is on the other side of town. WAS on the other side of town.

Devin: I know you’ve got a theory.

Carl: I always do!

Devin: Spill it.

Carl: I’ll tell you—right after the break! Stay tuned, folks. Zero Hour will be back in a flash!