Random thoughts: Who should the Rays bring back?

It's a shame that Hugh Hefner, the greatest offense in history (he always scored), has died. I say we all wear pajamas to mourn.

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Lucas Duda?

– Takkarist McKinley of the Falcons lost a dread on the field last week. This week, he saw it on eBay for $51. Yes, I have a birthday coming up, but I have all the hair I need. Especially someone else's.

– Is it just me, or would it be nice if Flo the insurance salesperson would slap Larry the Dr. Pepper guy, like, hard?

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Logan Morrison?

– I understand the NFL protests. I just roll my eyes, however, when Reggie Bush says that Colin Kaepernick is being blackballed. According to Bush, Kaepernick is “better than every NFL backup quarterback and some starters.” Reggie, Kaepernick won one game last year and two the year before. How many starting quarterbacks survive winning three games in two years. Of course, Bush didn't have the best vision when he played, did he?

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Brad Miller?

– I hope Odell Beckham was amused as he pantomimed a dog urinating last week as a celebration. It cost him $12 thousand. That's a lot of Alpo.

– On the other hand, why doesn't Georgia ever fine Uga?

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Adeiny Hechavarria?

– Did you see where Florida doesn't want O.J. Simpson after he's paroled. After Danny Rolling, Ted Bundy and Aileen Wuornos, we've suffered enough. I know. Let's move him to the Nebraska part of Florida.

– Now, this makes sense. The new trend in the NFL, it seems, is to kneel before the Anthem, then stand during it.Who has a problem with that? (Second choice: Standing on your heads during the coin flip).

– I read where Kirk Cousins makes $24 millions but still lives with his parents in the off-season. Which makes me wonder. Do you think my 22-year-old daughter secretly has a $24 million job she isn't telling me about?

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Kevin Kiermaier?

– A lot of fans want to see Chicago bench Mike Glennon for Mitch Trubisky. On the other hand, so does Ryan Leaf. That'll make you think that maybe you're in too big a hurry.

– Did you hear about the kid who went into a Gamestop wearing a Colin Kaepernick jersey and had two members of the Washington Redskins (Keith Marshall and Rob Kelley) buy him an X-Box. I'll be back later. I'm off to the BMW store wearing my new Kaepernick jersey.

– Question: Should the Rays bring back Steven Souza Jr.?

– This is not a joke. In a proposed movie, Bill Murray has been discussed to star as Joe Maddon. What's the movie called? Curse-busters?

– Did you read where former UConn coach Jim Calhoun has unretired to coach Saint Joseph. The NCAA immediately launched an investigation.

– It's sad when the Chicago Bears can't even handle a tweet from Butterfinger candy. After one barb, the Bears replied "Stick to football." And Butterfinger came back with "Stick to football. Oh...wait." Remind me to buy a Butterfinger today.

– Rick Pitino would know this, but who is the last guy to know less about his program's rule-breaking? I'm guessing it's Vito Corleone.

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About Gary Shelton

• No one covers Tampa Bay like Gary Shelton.
• No one has seen as many moments, as many athletes, as many coaches as he has over the last quarter of a century.
• No one has won more awards, including two national Associated Press Sports Editors Best Columnist awards and eight top 10 finishes. He also just received his sixth Sportswriter of the Year award for Florida by the NSSA.
• No one has seen more big events, including 29 Super Bowls, 10 Olympics and 11 Final Fours. Gary still goes into the locker rooms to obtain his stories.
• No one has made you angrier, or laugh louder, or think harder about what he has written.

Now, he begins a website designed to keep him in touch with the readers who have grown up on his words.