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So, I'm really sorry about this, but I have to change the topic again. Apparently, there's a girl who would like to go out with me (Yeah, she's already crazy if she wants that, but I can't help her), and my friends are constantly trying to set me up with her. They're non-stop talking about nothing but that girl, and I have to come up with a reason to why I can't go out with her. What should I do? I can't just say "Sorry guys, I'm gay, can't go out with her" or something like that. I'm really clueless, my friends can't stop talking about her, and I can't come up with good excuses to not go out with her... what should I do?
Sorry for changing the topic, but I need advice fast, or else I might end up completely avoiding my friends, or worse, admitting to them that I'm gay.

I'm guess I'm not aware of your history or preferences, but this might be a good time to come out, if you're willing. Making excuses probably isn't going to get you very far to be honest. And the old "I don't like her that way" may not fly either. But coming out will definitely solve this problem, and hopefully if your friends are true friends they'll accept that. If you're not willing to come out, you can try to say you don't like her, or maybe that she's annoying or something (I have no clue what she's like). But in my opinion, this would be a good time to come out.

Coming out would definitely be a good thing, if you think you're ready. Guys don't have to like every girl they meet though. Just say you're not interested, she's not your type, she's butt ugly, w/e. I don't see why they couldn't accept that.

You could just say you don't like the idea of dating someone you don't know. Personally, I don't like the idea of forcefully setting someone up. Just because you're a guy that doesn't want to date a female doesn't mean you're gay, and just being male doesn't mean you're easy to get with either.

If you actually do know her, just let her know you aren't interested. If she gets mad/upset she probably wasn't worth dating anyway (the same goes for guys who get upset at girls who put them in the "friendzone").

But guys who don't put on their bravado (meaning talking about women and how much sex they would like to have with women) are going to have their masculinity questioned, which is likely to make people wonder if you're gay.

There was even a lesbian present in the conversation and no one ever said anything about it. Then again, these are people that would be completely accepting of it in the first place. Could be different for people who wouldn't.

Well, I think Alex lives in one of those places where people are more hyper-masculine than you see in a typical America/Canada town so that's why I said what I said. 'Cause, you know, the world is moving toward acceptance of gay people, and there are people and places who are doing it more slowly than others, but then there are ones that are actively going backwards in reaction to progress. It's part of the reason I'd never travel to a lot of the world, as much as I'd love to visit lots of places and see lots of things.

Alex, are you sure your family and friends are completely against the LGBT community? Or have they just never said one way or the other? I mean, either way it's freaky wondering how people will react, but if you come out just remember that even if people react poorly at first, they'll have time to come around. It's basically "The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind" idea. Even if they are against homosexuality, a lot of time when it comes to someone they care about, people's opinions will shift.

Originally when I posted in this thread I had the mind set that I was a Gray-A. Turns out I had that all wrong. I was mistaking the signs of a Gray-A for what's actually proven itself to be demisexuality to me. I discovered it fully because of an ex-partner of mine recently.

I realized that my lack of desire in general and such applies to every being I know... untiiiil I actually come to love and or care about them on a deeper level. I didn't pick up those signs until my ex-partner ended up showing it to me inadvertently. .//////.

Go figure. It's similar to being a Gray-A, but your loving feelings end up applying just to that person who gives you feels. >//^//>

Demisexuality is one of those things I don't completely understand. That's just me though, I can see it actually happening though because I know of people who are so reserved in themselves and would never dare open up to someone sexually unless they had some sort of connection like that. That's cool though.

As for people who call themselves "demiromantic" I feel like they have no idea how interpersonal relationships work.

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you are a despicable piece of ♥♥♥♥ that doesn't belong in the D&D section.

Demisexuality is one of those things I don't completely understand. That's just me though, I can see it actually happening though because I know of people who are so reserved in themselves and would never dare open up to someone sexually unless they had some sort of connection like that. That's cool though.

As for people who call themselves "demiromantic" I feel like they have no idea how interpersonal relationships work.

I-I guess the best way I can explain it is that I can't feel desires for people based on lovely appearances or anything instinctive. Those kinds of things don't get to me at all. ;w; I have to already be 'attracted' to someone on a deeper level. The way I usually describe it is if I'm not already in love or caring deeply for someone, I'm asexual. XDD;

That usually helps to get the meaning out there better. Hope it helped a bit. ^^; Demisexuality is a project to explain, dfkjdslj.

I'm sorry I've been so horridly absent guys, my life has been keeping me away big time. I haven't forgotten about you though, I've been watching this thread like a hawk but I just haven't had the time in any one sitting to sit down and formulate an actual post .

Phantom, you should continue to spill your feels, because I'm going to do the same about a guy I went on a date with in a minute

Firstly though, Victini, I'm so happy you've sorted out what you can identify as! Though I thought demisexuality was in the Grey-A group? Also I'm happy you've decided to come back and share with us again, it's been a while since we've seen you around!

OK so now let me all tell you about the date I went on last night!

I was on Grindr and came across this guy named Jesse. Grindr is usually full of horny freaks who want nothing more to get into your pants so I was thinking of giving up on the whole thing altogether when I came across this guy and his picture was cute so I decided to talk to him.

We hit it off quite well, talked about music and TV and stuff, and I said we should do something some time and he said yes. This was the first time I've actually asked a guy out so I was really happy when he didn't reject me

Anyway I had to go to work so I said I'd talk to him later, then I didn't see him online on Grindr for a few days. Then on Friday night I saw him again and he talked to me and he said he was feeling emotional because he was thinking about his best friend in the world that died six months ago from an epileptic seizure in her sleep. So I really felt for him and asked if I could do anything to help him feel better and he said he'd like to go out for a slushie. I got excited that he wanted to meet me so I ran around and got changed but then he changed his mind but said we should do something soon.

I gave him my number and he gave me his and he texted me on Saturday morning and we ended up making a plan for last night. It was very awkward at first, as it was always going to be, being a first date - and he got a phone call near the beginning of the date and he told whoever called him that he was "just hanging with a friend" so that was a little discouraging but at the same time took a lot of pressure off the whole outing. So the awkwardness eventually subsided and we talked and laughed and went driving around to various places (as it was a Sunday night and there's not really anything to do on a Sunday night ).

Eventually we got to this lookout and we were looking up at the stars and talking and laughing and he was showing me some awesome YouTube videos (by the way, if you haven't seen Nigella Talks Dirty, then my GOD you have to) and he snorts whenever he laughs and I find that absolutely ****ing adorable omg.

Anyway so we stood up and he goes "can I ask you a question?" and I said "sure" and he said "Can I hug you?" and I said "sure" so we hugged. And then I said "I owe you a hug anyway, I promised you one when we were talking the other night (about his dead friend)" so we hugged again and then he said "Damn you're nice to cuddle" so we kept hugging. The hugs were lasting longer each time until they were minutes at a time.

Then we started rubbing each others backs while we were hugging and when we came out of each hug we were sort of lingering closer to each other and then I said "Can I ask you a question?" and he said "sure" and I said "Can I kiss you?" and he just looked at me and smiled and then we kissed!

And we kissed again. He told me I was a good kisser which was really awesome since that was actually my first kiss (I've done sexual things with friends before but never kissed anyone I was interested in).

Aaaaa so exciting! We ended up making out like seven times and then we had to go because it was midnight and he goes to bed earlier than I do

But yeah I'm seeing him again tonight! We're going to see Pitch Perfect and it shall be awesome!

A little while ago, an older gentleman (50+) came out to me at work. He's known all his life, but never actually came out to his family. He had a boyfriend, but long story short, his boyfriend hung himself with a dog collar =(

I was reflecting about how hard it must be for older generations, especially in my highly republican area, to come to terms with their sexuality and keep it a secret for their whole lives. I couldn't imagine having to carry that burden around for so long.

AAAAND, how long has it been since I posted here? ._.
DID I MENTION I GOT MY FIRST BOYFRIEND? Like, almost four months ago but I honestly think it's been that long since I posted here. . . .
I'm not sure where to start. :x . . . So, I think I'ma just let my post end at this awkward cliff. *plunge*(Also, I'm now in love with P!nk but that may or may not be completely irrelevant. :>)

Ooooh, I guess that's where I can start.
That seems like an awkward story to tell. Well, time to make an attempt, lol.

I think I knew him for about a year, perhaps a little more, before we started dating. AHAHAHA, but the circumstances of our meeting is where it gets a bit awkward. Not at the time, but when I tell the story now it is.
At that time, he was dating my sister. :/ Well, technically my step-sister. WELL, if you get really technical she's not even that; her mother and my father have been together for, like, ten+ years, but they're not married. They refer to themselves as being married though. (Oh gosh, I sound like I'm making excuses. I guess I am. xD)

Let's put it this way: my sister is a bit of a psycho and knows how to be a major b****. She randomly decided that she hated his guts this summer. She stopped dating him a few months before that, when she pretty much dumped him to chase a long distance relationship that didn't end up lasting anyways. (I think I've already been dating him longer than my sister did.)
He's bisexual. I've known that since she was dating him, and I suppose I had a crush on him for a while and . . . oh my, I don't even know. @_@ Long story short: we liked each other and started dating September 16th. There's . . . about a three year and nine month age difference between us, (apparently completely legal in NY) lol. The only time I even notice it is when it comes to talking about school or all them privileges you get when you turn eighteen, which he did October 1st. //pfft

Originally when I posted in this thread I had the mind set that I was a Gray-A. Turns out I had that all wrong. I was mistaking the signs of a Gray-A for what's actually proven itself to be demisexuality to me. I discovered it fully because of an ex-partner of mine recently.

I realized that my lack of desire in general and such applies to every being I know... untiiiil I actually come to love and or care about them on a deeper level. I didn't pick up those signs until my ex-partner ended up showing it to me inadvertently. .//////.

Go figure. It's similar to being a Gray-A, but your loving feelings end up applying just to that person who gives you feels. >//^//>

You see, I think, it's nice that you kind of "figured it out" and got to know that you were actually wrong the first time around. But... does labeling really matter that much? Of course, it's good to know who you are etc. but when it comes to sexual orientations, I sometimes get the feeling that people limit themselves too much. Does it matter if somebody is hetero-, bi-, homo- or asexual?

I think it's best to tell yourself: "Well, right now, I seem more like this, but if I come to like something else, it will be fine, too."

I don't know why I'm even typing this. Maybe because so many people are going on and on about what orientation suits them best. When I read your post, the same thought ocurred to me... Sure, you can call yourself whatever you want to, but isn't it easier to just "let it be how it is" and not keep thinking too much about orientations?

I hope, this didn't sound too harsh...

By the way, demisexuality doesn't sound so uncommon to me. I guess, I'd have to call myself this way as well as I don't seem to be attracted to people unless I develop feelings for them. However, I know a lot of people who are like this and I don't see a reason why it should be so unusual.

I guess, I could call myself demihetero and homosexual? You see, I only find guys hot when I have feelings for them but when it comes to girls, I find them attractive regardless of feelings.
(Haha, sorry, I'm just joking around with the terms a bit. Nothing meant too seriously.)

You see, I think, it's nice that you kind of "figured it out" and got to know that you were actually wrong the first time around. But... does labeling really matter that much? Of course, it's good to know who you are etc. but when it comes to sexual orientations, I sometimes get the feeling that people limit themselves too much. Does it matter if somebody is hetero-, bi-, homo- or asexual?

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