Monday, May 28, 2012

Preparation

If you've been keeping track, you must be aware that my job is ending soon. If you've been paying attention, you'll know that is quite a cause for celebration. If you know me in real life, you might perceive how petrified I am.

For the last 3-4 years, my life has pretty much been all about kids. Babysitting, classes, nannying, student teaching, mini-teaching, more classes about how they learn, how to teach them, and then nannying some more. This is my comfort zone, even if I'm unhappy in it. I know kids, I'm good with them, and I can ace any interview involving them.

And now. Now I'm getting ready to venture into this completely unknown space where there are no kids and none of my knowledge base matters. I'm so. so. SO unbelievably ready for this place, but I'm also scared out of my mind that I won't be welcome there.

I know my personality. I'm a hard worker, I love learning new things, and I am organized and professional to a fault. But personality doesn't show up on a resume, and so as I read job descriptions and begin to think about the application/interview process, I have never felt so unprepared for something in my life. The idea that I'm not actually technically qualified for jobs in most any area outside working with children, and that therefore someone will have to be willing to take a chance on me, is, well, unnerving to say the least.

However... my fear has forced me into an unusual place. I pray all the time about this situation, knowing that for me to find the right job for me in this time in my life will take nothing short of a miracle. It's nothing I can do on my own, because I don't have the skills and experience needed. So I pray before, during, and after I look at job descriptions. I'll be praying later today as I try to piece together a resume that focuses on skills acquired but doesn't include wiping noses (or butts for that matter), teaching the alphabet, or my repertoire of children's books. I'll pray over each email, phone call, or interview, knowing that only with God's help will I end up with something that makes me happy.

I will not allow myself to settle for another nannying, preschool worker, or babysitting job. I am determined to be patient (not my strong suit...sigh) and wait on the Lord while He does the work of preparing me and my future workplace for each other. And wouldn't you know it, in all that praying and practicing patience and forced reliance on God, I'm feeling a little less afraid and a little more hopeful.