Wednesday, June 15, 2011

These cookies are the kind of item where you walk by in the grocery store and go, "Whoa! Are those new?"
Then for a moment you think you may have already tried them at some point and you almost turn away. Almost. But then your eye zeroes in on the "NEW!" label up in the corner, and it's GAME ON.

Chips Ahoys newest creation is yet again, a new spin the the classic chewy chocolate chip cookie. This time, instead of just adding chunks of a popular candy bar, they have gone another route. This time, the CHEWY GOOEY CHOCOFUDGE cookie promises to have what appears to be a liquid chocolate center. This idea seems too awesome and futuristic for me to actually be able try in the year 2011. This is the kind of technology I didn't expect to see in my lifetime. Liquid chocolate somehow housed in the belly of a chewy chocolate chip cookie?! IMPOSSIBLE.

So I ripped into them, excited to try this miracle hybrid of baking and science. If they are successful, it could open up infinite snacking possibilities. But...

First off, look at how small this thing is. It's as big as a fifty cent piece. How on Gods green Earth could a cookie this small hold a reservoir of chocolate inside? The answer simply is, it can't. These tiny, poker chip sized cookies are the same old Chips Ahoy chewy cookies, The only difference is this time there is a tiny bit of choco-fudge in the middle. A tiny bit.

Refer back to the package. That fractured cookie has a tsunami of chocolate flooding out of it. Now look at this picture. Very much not the same, at all. The cookie is chewy. It is slightly gooey with chocofudge, but it won't be transporting us to the next generation of snacking. It will just be another of the many types of Chips Ahoy on the shelf,
Are they bad? No. They just aren't awesome. Nobody will tell you that these are their favorite cookies of all time. They are very forgettable. But that being said, the bag vanished pretty quickly here. Attribute that one to either the simple fact that they were cookies in a house full of fat guys, or that they don't 100% suck.
I give these a C. Very run of the mill. The C also stands for , "come on guys, these could have been amazing."

Friday, June 10, 2011

Lays has been busting out new flavors in the last few months, and, after a long wait and a horrible photoshop job, I am here to review.

I'll go in order from bad to best.

Honey Mustard: Not good. I don't know what I was thinking when I thought they may be good, since I don't really like honey mustard. I guess I was hoping they'd be more like Uno's honey mustard (which is delicious) and less like... well, mustard. They are very mustardy, and I feel like even a lover of honey mustard wouldn't want that flavor on a potato chip. I'm assuming these won't last. They certainly didn't do it for me. If you want half a bag a month old, feel free to raid our trash can.

Creamy Mediterranean Herb: I don't know what creamy Mediterranean herb even means, but these chips are good. They taste kind of like a creamy ranch with parmesan and maybe oregano mixed in. It's a very unique flavor, and it works. They're kettle cooked too, so they're crunchy as hell in addition to having a really unique flavor. Don't eat them if you don't like ranch. If you do, and want ranch with some extra pizazz, hit these up.

Spicy Cayenne and Cheese: These are also kettle chips, and are awesome. One minute they're really cheesy, the next they are burning you with cayenne heaven. If you don't like spice, stay away. They aren't too spicy, but mixed with the strong cheese flavor, it works really well and produces that nice constant burn that can only be satisfied by eating more.

Honey Barbeque: These should be called Smokey Honey Barbeque, because that's what they are. The greasy dregs of chips at the bottom tend to be super sweet and honey-ey, but most of the chips have an awesome smokey-ness to them that make these really good. These have been around for awhile in 99 cent bags, and I say bravo to Lay's for finally bringing the sweet and smokey-ocity (I've already created 2 words, why not 3) of these chips to the big leagues. Delicious.

Garden Tomato & Basil: You wouldn't expect a fat pig to list Garden Tomato & Basil as his favorite out of this list, and you probably wouldn't expect the same guy to say that these are his favorite chips to come out in years, but I'm saying both. These are FANTASTIC. They're like ketchup chips with an extra kick. They're really strong on the tomato flavor and really unique. Everyone I've told to eat these has pretty much had the same reaction- a pause, an inquisitive look, and a "wow.. these are neat. I like these!" and then I fight the bag away from them. I have a really hard time stopping eating these, and have probably single handedly kept them off the shelves.

Lay's is great at creating new flavors (in fact, I just looked at the website and there's like 15 other flavors I've never even heard of), so who knows when these will disappear, but please, please, please Lay's, at least let me keep the last 2 flavors. Or at least tell me when they are going out of production, so I can buy 100 bags of Garden Tomato & Basil and cryogenically freeze them.