Before we lose this detente mojo, we need to tackle one more area of controversy: Let's negotiate a peaceful coexistence of bicyclists and motorists.

You know the dispute. No doubt you've encountered it during your commute to work or in the middle of your morning ride. The bikers think drivers are aggressive and self-centered. The drivers think bikers are bottleneck-inducing traffic-law violators.

The conflict exists all over the world, according to Joe Mizereck, a cycling enthusiast and founder of 3 Feet Please, an organization that advocates for laws to ensure biker safety. "There are a lot of people who think they're in control," Mizereck told me. "Certainly for the past 60 years, motorists have been in control. Vehicles are certainly the big guys on the block. But there are some changes taking place here, and we've got to get along."

And soon. Hundreds of Ride of Silence events have popped up throughout the world to honor the increasing number of cyclists injured or killed in accidents with motorists. In Doylestown, Pa., Bev Bongiorno worked to establish a ride in memory of her sister Valerie, who was killed more than three years ago after she was struck during a ride by a trailer attached to a passing truck.

I used to side with the motorists. I remember thinking bikers had a sense of entitlement that seemed to grow out of their Spandex shorts. They were posers -- Lance Armstrong wannabes with expensive carbon-framed bikes, designer shirts, padded pants, and flashy helmets. They took up too much space, seemed to relish slowing down traffic, and thought nothing of blowing through stop signs and red lights. And the more their ranks grew, the more they thought the road was built for them.

By now, three Tours de Shore have afforded me a whole new perspective from the bicycle seat. I now know, for example, that many bikers ride along the white line because it offers the smoothest surface -- a far safer path than the field of potholes and debris often found a few feet to the right. I also recognize the alarm that the blowing of a horn can cause for a biker. And I understand the hazard that a closely passing car can present.

I'm convinced that bikers have a legitimate right to use the roadways. But ending the kerfuffle between them and motorists is going to take some compromise on both sides.

Here's a starting point: Bikers should recognize that hitting the road means obeying laws as every other vehicle does. So ride with traffic, stop at lights, and yield when appropriate. Recognize that not all roads are meant to be pedaled.

And stick to single-file lines. That doesn't mean hugging the guardrail or the side of the road. Cyclists who give themselves a couple of feet will make it more likely that drivers do the same.

Drivers, meanwhile, should give cyclists at least three feet of clearance when passing. They should stay off the shoulder, even when the car in front of them is making a left; it's meant for bikers and emergencies.

And stop honking at bikers to make a point. Treating them like vehicles on equal footing with cars will go a long way toward keeping everyone safe and civil.

"Still, to this day, every time I see a rider while driving, or even when walking the dog, I can't help but think about Valerie," Bev Bongiorno told me. "I hope that bikers are riding safely and that all the drivers on the road are watching out for everybody else on the road, but especially the bikers."