How does one small thing prohibit you from going ahead

How does one small thing prohibit you from going ahead further

There is something that cuts our wings, makes us to withdraw from the game, go to the shadow, ensures we let it go. This thing sometimes sits in us deeply, quietly, so that even you do not know about it, but it waits patiently, blocks you, says in your ear “no”, says “you are not good enough”, “you are not ready”, “you are not doing well”. It’s something that constantly makes you lose, resign, give up ….

Do you know this someone?

Do you know who we are talking about?

It has many names, but one of them is

Lack of faith in own abilities. Lack of self-confidence …

Of all the things that block us, this is what I would place as the No. 1.

Because, how many times you have told yourself:

– “Oh no, I’m not ready to take this position yet”

– “I have too little knowledge to do it”

– “I will not ask for a raise, because I do not deserve it”

– “Do others know that I know so little …?”

– “I’m stupid …”

– “I will not take it, because I cannot do it …”

In all these things our mind is the limit. It is this what forbids us to go forward, sit in the first row, raise the hand up, come out with initiative. It is this what plants uncertainty in our soul. After all, we lose so much only because of our thinking …

Why do we always think that others are better than us? Why we do not have faith in ourselves, but we grant it to the others in an unlimited way?

In this aspect, women act quite differently than men. For example, when we offer a high position to a man and a woman. The former will take it without thinking, regardless of whether he has knowledge or experience. A woman with great probability will hesitate, maybe she will withdraw, and if she accepts a position, having “Cheater syndrome”, may feel that others think about her that she is better than she really is. She will feel like a liar.

While observing women and men at various meetings, we can notice some kind of trend. Men answer most often and most willingly. Women often withdraw from the discussion, considering in their minds whether to speak or not, whether they are right or maybe they are wrong. Men speak much more often and more willingly, they are not afraid if they miss some knowledge of the topic. Are they losing on this? – No. A person who does not speak is losing much more….

Examples can be multiplied. Motherhood also adds something to this practice. A woman always thinks that maybe one day she will become a mother. And when she is already a mom, that she cannot get involved in the activities too much, since she has children at home and should devote most of the time to them. The unfortunate equality, for which we fight co much, leads us to a situation in which we would like to become superwomen. To combine work with home and motherhood in the best possible way, the ideal lady of the house with an ideal wife, a hit woman with a quiet mouse. It can be discussed further, but in the end, it all leads us to a kind of schizophrenia.

We demand a great deal from ourselves and we criticize ourselves as much as possible, not being able to see that we are already great.

I think it is worth to mention the cultural and historical background, because still somewhere in our heads there is deeply rooted the division of woman-man roles and the rights assigned by the society to each of the sexes. There is something in this, that old views continue to rule us …. That still many people are convinced that a woman is responsible for raising children, cleaning and cooking, and a man for work and professional success.

Women are also often perceived to “embarrass” themselves in the eyes of others when they say what they exactly want. Comparing lady with a men, if the former is aware of her reasons and manages the team firmly, she can be treated as a nasty cunt, which is said to “rule”, while behaving in the same way a man, is probably more likely to deserve for social recognition. Unfortunately, there is something in it that women are expected to be gentle, calm and sometimes also standing in the second row … And under the pressure of the environment, we often enter into this type of role …

In the end, a woman appears, unaware of her values and strengths, sitting at the back seat. Of course, this is extreme situation, but unfortunately it happens too often ….

SO

Lady, believe in yourself!

Do it today. But you must know that working on yourself in this area is not the easiest way…
However, you can start with small steps ….

If you do not know where to start, just start with anything. Taking the first steps always causes the next ones, and thus will bring you closer to success.

As Sheryl Sendberg says – “Join the game” – sit in the first row, raise your hand up, speak out – show that you are!

Are you afraid to perform in public? Are you afraid to speak out loud? – Exercise. Read aloud at home. Watch your behavior in the mirror. Play the situation. Speak loudly. And when you stand in front of a large auditorium, your fears will be smaller, because you’ve already said this what you have to say “to someone”.

Whenever you think you cannot do it, recall these situations when you’ve done it. They show that you can be effective.

Stop worrying about what others will think. In psychological terms, there is cognitive style called field-dependence, i.e. it is nothing more than simply taking care of how we can look in the eyes of others, people who exhibit field dependence tend to rely on information provided by the outer world. This dependence captivates us, negatively affects our emotions, inhibits our actions … As women, we waste too much time thinking about what is in the heads of ‘others’. It’s time to end this once and for ever!

If you do not believe in yourself, you will not speak out loud about your ideas, and nobody will ever hear them …

Fight! Trust your ideas and fight to convince others. At the beginning you can fail, but with the time being people will start to believe in these ideas.

Take a risk. Take on tasks that you would never have thought possible that you could do. Because you can do it, you just do not know it, because you’ve never tried it ;-).

Do not be afraid of failures or difficult tasks. You have to learn something after all.9. At the end stand in front of the mirror, tell yourself: “I am cool girl. I can do a lot. I can achieve even more. I believe in myself! ” And just start working :-)!

And once you believe in yourself, then others will also believe in you :-)!