Sure, we're in the midst of a military quagmire. But hey, check out our package!

"Your country has never been prouder, and neither have you!"

- Sales pitch for the Patriot line of briefs from Australian underwear maker AussieBum, which features a flag motif from the nation of your choice and the company's revolutionary "Wonderjock ball/extension support technology" that, AussieBum founder Sean Ashby says, "separates and lifts, protruding everything out front instead of down toward the ground."