Zoltron is not just any interplanetary conqueror / destroyer, Zoltron is also a kind and sensitive slavemaster who, as you can see in the picture below, happens to love nature and even has a plant that is his friend.

A vote for Zoltron is a vote for happiness, which is why his campaign slogan is “Think of the puppies”.

With Zoltron as your undisputed Lord and Master, you’ll never have to worry about getting a job because everyone will automatically be employed for Zoltron. You’ll also never have to feel self-conscious about how much you earn because everyone will earn the same amount!*

So c’mon. Be a pal and vote Zoltron. You know it’s right, I know it’s right and Zoltron, well, there is no right and wrong for Zoltron, just his undisputed rule or a slow and torturous death.