Life is full of little amazing events that we go through and rarely take notice of or appreciate. This is an attempt to take snapshots of our ordinary existence as we navigate the miraculous maze of Life; Trying to keep hope alive through our journey to parenthood; Like it or not Infertility is a guest in our house until further notice; and sharing a little of my love of photography and cooking.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Baby Hunger

My friend gave me a book to read titled “Baby
Hunger: Biblical Encouragement for Those Struggling with Infertility”. It
narrates and analyzes stories of men and women in biblical times who struggled
with infertility or loss of children. It also compares their stories to our current time. I don’t consider myself very high on the
religious scale despite being raised catholic since it seems somewhere along
the years I lost interest in organized religion. I do still have a relationship
with God and all my Saints just not in the traditional way… yet that doesn’t change
the fact that I liked this book.

The book is a short read and very to the
point. The writer is basically telling the stories the way SHE imagines it
happening back in the day. All in all a good book even though she lost me a bit
in the adoption chapter. The Bottom line is that everything will happen “In Due
Time”; HIS time; whether we end up getting pregnant, adopting, or just being at
peace with a child free life things will happen “In Due Time”. I like the way she compares Our Hunger for a baby to the way God
feels about us humans, after all we are HIS children. I don’t want to go into
details about the book but it was a good book to read and I feel it came to me
at the perfect time. One thing i'm not so sure about is the idea that our stories have
been written since before we even were conceived.

The book brought some peace to some of my
concerns but opened the door to a whole new pile of questions. When do you know
it’s time to stop? When will we know THIS is the child for us? Is it when
things work out it means this was the child for us? I really want to stop
analyzing every little thing in our life but going through infertility makes
you Google every twitch and freckle “just in case it means something”; I even Google my feelings and thoughts about something to see if there are other people who are the same as me. In my
opinion the book kinda gives you a way out if that’s what you are looking for;
Essentially pray about everything, all the time, and if it’s in your cards it will
happen “In Due Time” otherwise HE will help you find peace to deal with your
prayers not being answered the way YOU want them to be answered.

A lot is up in the air and a lot to digest.
I’m not sure how I feel about the idea that no matter what I do I’m still never
going to be in control of what happens in my life. Does it mean if I go way out
of my way to make something happen it will end up not being a happy ending because
I forced the situation? I don’t know. Maybe HE wanted me to do it this way or
maybe not! and by the way I'm totally not trying to be sarcastic. Where do we start taking responsibility for our actions and when do we blame it on "Our Life Story" that was written on our behalf before we were born?

2 comments:

I think that it is helpful to consider that as long as we are doing all we can to educate ourselves on the options available and then take that knowledge to God through prayer, He will support us in the choices that he gives us the agency to choose. I don't necessarily believe that our story is written for us, but rather He knows us as His children well enough to know the choices we will make. So we still choose our own way, but He has a plan for us if we will follow Him. I am applying to adopt through foster care after several years of dealing with infertility and am finally at peace...although I still have no idea which children I might end up with, I trust the way will present itself like you said...in Due time. Best Wishes!