Any ideas?

The past couple weeks I have been depressed and all around negative. I hate the way I have been acting of late and how it has impacted those around me. The other night I began pondering why I have been acting the way I have. Stewing in my misery when I knew the ways to solve the issues that bothered me. Not knowing why I wasn't taking action was making it so I couldn't stand to be in my own skin. I know where self loathing can lead, and decided I needed to figure out where it was coming from bc I was stumped. Well to make a long story short I realized that I was still experiencing the emotions of being told I was a miserable excuse of a being bc of original sin ever since I was a toddler. I thought I had stopped buying into that ages ago but it was so deeply imbedded in my mind that it still haunts me. I'm sure this is going to be one of those things that will not entirely go away but I would like to rid myself of it as much as I can. Would anyone have any ideas on how to do this? I was thinking of using "I deserve to be happy!" like a mantra since it was “your a worthless sinner” repeated over and over that got me here.

Replies to This Discussion

This guy talks sense. If there are any spiritual connotations, just ignore them, but I don't even think this particular one refers to any spirituality at all. Its just good common sense. If I had to belong to any religion, Buddhism would be the only possible one I could even consider.

I love a line in the recent HBO series, The Pacific. The GIs had just taken Tarara with many losses. After the battle the captain saw one of his men in tears and said, "don't dwell on it."

You're not the only one who went through religious indoctrination. Be glad you were smart enough to figure out that it was a scam. Think of the things that make you happy and dwell on them. Don't let yourself think about the bad times.

Don't let any indoctrination control your brain. You be the one in charge! When you begin to feel down about anything, immediately change your thought process. Remind yourself that it was a fairy tale the whole time. Enjoy the idea that one day people will look back and ask, "did people really believe that stuff?" just like people ask about Paganism or Greek mythology. Keep a positive attitude, the best way I have learned to do so is to keep improving my surroundings. Good luck!

Early childhood programming is very powerful. At the same time, adult programming can be just as powerful. Once you recognized the source was childhood programming, you brought your adult rational skills to bear and began looking more objectively at your behavior and emotions. That is great work. While you were given that program as a child, as an adult we can reprogram ourselves. We do it all the time - we generally call it skill building - but it is essentially programming or reprogramming. The power to self reprogram is available to non-theists to a much greater degree than theists because they have programs that constantly interfere with any new program that threatens the god program. It appears that you are experiencing one of those 'Interference" programs designed to prevent you from programming the idea of original sin out of your mental model. Religions know that as long as you keep certain key ideas or programs, you can be manipulated back into the religion. Once those programs are defused or chopped up, the control is broken. Take blasphemy for example. The whole idea of blasphemy is common to all the major religions. Why? because it is a perfect program for keeping people from questioning and reprogramming. Original sin is a similar program. Keep on working, you are on a strong track. Be sure you do some healthy reading on the subject. I would recommend Albert Ellis' A New Guide to Rational Living. It is a book you have to work at, but very rewarding once you grasp the concepts of rational emotive thinking.

Finally, if you have a Recovering from Religion group near you, take your concerns to the meeting and share them. I think you will find other people who have been through it as well.

Darrel Ray, author if The God Virus and founder of Recovering from Religion

Thanks I'll have to look for that book. I wish there was a Recovering from Religion near me. The closest one is almost 200 miles away. I would like to start one up but life is a bit to chaotic right now. I have recently joined a atheist meetup group I'm sure I'll be able to talk to those guys about such matters.

I agree with Darrel Ray its the early childhood programming thats causing the problem,it causes me some problems too sometimes.If there is one of those Recovering from Religion groups near you,i think it really would be very useful it helping you work through the issues.