The Aroma Of Bad Luck

I don't actually smell, I don't think, but I definitely am covered with that lightly greased film that settles in when you haven't had a decent shower for a couple of days.

Sure, I've taken a few birdbaths since we lost our hot water, and I have managed to fight off the worst of the funk by liberally lubricating high-friction body parts with manly-man, towel-snapping deodorants. But the bottom line is, I'm still musky.

Granted, I could have taken a cold shower, and I would have if I didn't so strongly believe that cold showers are reserved for 13-year-old Catholic boys trying to avoid eternal damnation, palm whiskers and blindness.

Anyway, the reason my house has had no hot water is because we are caught up in one of those cycles where everything breaks at once.

It began on one of the hottest days of the year, when the AC in my car suddenly surrendered.

Then we had the thunderstorm, during which lightning grazed our house, knocking out several electrical outlets, a new DVD player, an old TV and the invisible dog fence.

Now, let me just take a second here to note that while I think this series of misfortunes is basically random, the dog seemed to be particularly happy about the loss of the invisible fence, and I wouldn't put it past him to have been out there standing on it during the height of the storm waving a golf club over his head.

The final piece of bad news -- so far -- came two days after the lightning incident, when it was determined that the water oozing up through the carpet in the finished basement was coming from the bottom of the hot-water tank.

At the risk of overstating the cost of replacing a hot-water tank, understand that it was enough to have me seriously re-evaluating my previously held position on cold showers.

All this has left me contemplating the best course to follow when adversity piles on.

First, don't go into denial mode. A losing streak needs to be acknowledged. The quickest way to end up living under a bridge is to disrespect a losing streak

Second, don't try to hurry it along. You know the phrase, ``It can't possibly get any worse?'' Those are the words usually uttered just before things get significantly worse.

Third, don't taunt it. When everything is going wrong is not a good time to ask for a raise or get a face lift.

On a positive note, if your run of bad luck involves the loss of a shower, take comfort in the knowledge that, as bad as you may reek, after a few days you really can't smell yourself.

Contact Jim Shea at shea@courant.com. His political humor column can be found on Page A2 Wednesdays.