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"C.T.C."

Short for "Cinnamon Toast Crunch," a combination of my Mama and my Daddy's bloggy names! I am a little man who likes to eat, sleep, smile, and go for rides in my really sweet stroller wheels! Sometimes I fuss a bit because of the bubbles in my tummy, but Mama thinks I am one pretty easy going dude! Click on my picture to learn more about me! :o)

"C.C."

Short for "Cinnamon Crunch," my most favorite breakfast bagel treat! I am a 30-something, totally Type-A, slightly OCD, yet somehow cluttered woman of FAITH. I love JESUS, my husband, my family, and my SON!!! I value peace, yet appreciate what God has taught me through the trying and sometimes painful circumstances of life in this fallen world. I enjoy writing (especially blogging), reading, watching tv, and playing with our dogs. My continual prayer for this blog is that God will help me to share the experiences of my life in a way that would minister to others and bring glory to Him!

Allow me to introduce myself...

"Double T" (D.T.)

Short for "Double Toasted" ~the way he likes his bagels prepared~ D.T. is my very handsome, European-born, multi-talented singer, chef, motorcycle loving, theologian husband! Like everything else in his life, he enjoys a plain or sesame bagel very "well done!" I am so blessed that God brought Double T all the way across the world to be with me, and I look forward to growing very old together!

Time in Romania

Bucharest

Goldie Marie

Our 4 year old pound puppy. Also affectionately known as Golda, Maria, Mitzi, Itsy, Itsy Bitsy, and anything else Double T can come up with! :-) Goldie loves to play with squeaky balls, race around the back yard, chew a good bone, bark until she gets what she wants, and ignore her annoying little puppy brother.

Benjamin Henry

Our 2 year old "Jackabee" (1/2 jack russel, 1/2 beagle) puppy that was born on Super Bowl Sunday 2008 . Also affectionately known as Ben, Bennie, Boo-boo, Moo-moo, Mushu, Mushulika, Mushulescu, and once again, anything else Double T can come up with! Ben loves to attack his older puppy sister, howl, chew sticks, pull stuffing out of toys, watch TV, and curl up in anyone's lap for a good snooze.

Guests since 1/21/2008

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My weight loss goal!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I haven't posted for a while. Even though I have so many things that I want to write about, I can't seem to put my thoughts into words. My heart is heavy. Have you ever had something you wanted so badly that it literally hurt that you couldn't have it? You couldn't buy it. You couldn't borrow it. You couldn't work for it. You told yourself it didn't matter... you're better off without it... it would cost too much anyway. You pushed it to the back of your mind and moved on to the next thing in life. But like a wound that isn't completely healed, the infection grew back. It looked okay on the surface for a little while, but underneath, it festered and became painful and ugly. Eventually, it opened up and needed to be cleaned out.

It's been over 8 years now since my husband and I started trying to have a child. That is more than 96 disappointing months. Some passed by unnoticed and others dragged painfully on. If you had asked me 10 years ago where I would be today, I would have said married with children. I never really saw anything different, yet here I am. Sometimes I wonder if anybody really understands how it feels.

Looking back in my journal on December 2, 2002, I poured out my heart to God. I told Him that the desire of my heart remained to have a child, but not at the expense of going against His will. No matter how much I wanted a child, I understood that my desire to keep His commands was more important... After I finished praying, I opened my Bible to the passage for that day. I read from I John 3:7-24 (NKJV), and verse 22 seemed to leap off the page. God responded directly to my commitment to keep His commands regardless of the answer to my prayer. He said, "And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight." I had just asked God to give me the desire of my heart ~ a child. And I had just told Him that keeping His commandments and staying in His will was more important to me than moving ahead on my own. Now, I have never been the "name it and claim it" kind of Christian, but I joyfully believed God's promise that day was specifically for me and my desire. Many days since then, I have struggled to remind myself that He will do what He says He will do. This week was one of those times. Unknowingly and unintentionally, someone asked me a question which ripped open my wound... I thought I had bandaged it so beautifully, covering it so noone could see. I had covered it so well, I almost forgot about it myself... but it never really goes away. Even when it heals, the scar remains to teach me and to remind me... Do those things that are pleasing in My sight... Keep My commandments... Rest in Me... Know that I am God... I know the plans I have for you...