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In Theaters… Green Lantern

I had such high hopes going into this movie. Thor was stunningly good. Super 8 blew my mind (and many other’s). I was starting to think that this summer was going to be different. That maybe Hollywood had decided that we were smart enough for movies that were more then just pretty people preening. I think I was wrong.

There were so many things that made me want to see this movie:

Ryan Reynolds – he’s funny, his timing is great and in the past he has made decent movies (save that Sandra Bullock crap, but I blame her)

Peter Sarsgaard – he’s one of those actors that I ma drawn to. I’ll see it if he’s in it.

Story – I have always loved the idea of the Green Lantern

Curiosity – the suit was fully computer generated

Sadly, it was these things that made me walk out of the theater after the credits (yes, there is a short scene halfway through hinting at sequels) shaking my head, wondering why I can’t have that 106 minutes and $11.25 back.

We’ll take these one at a time:

Ryan Reynolds – he was funny, sure, but totally annoying. “I can’t do it. I’m not good enough. I’m scared even though everyone that will listen I tell I’m not.” It was clear that he was not really trying on this one – just a fatty paycheck.

Peter Sarsgaard – He spends half the movie screaming. Not yelling. Not hollering. Screaming like a stuck pig. It’s a terrible sound. Also, anyone could have played this part. I hope he was dramatically overpaid, for his sake. Seriously, with the makeup/CG it could have been anyone.

Story – Slow. Slow. Slow. Slow. RUSHED AS ALL HELL. Credits. There are some serious pacing problems here. Also, this is a case of a trailer lying. This is not the movie advertised.

Curiosity – The suit is distracting. It does not add to the movie. In fact, some times it looks down right bad – mostly in long shots.

I give it a C. See it if you are interested, but I might recommend waiting until you can do it sitting on the couch with an adult beverage.