Just doing this wonderful thing called life. Journies, Love & Marriage

Feeling Fat in a Skinny World

Really early on in my blogging, I had wrote a blog about women’s self image. This is still the number one blog that women contact me about. As women, our bodies can go through massive changes through a short amount of time: pregnancy, medication, mental illness, and chronic illness are all things that pack on the pounds.
I want to share my story with you again. In December 2013, I went on a drug that packed on the pounds. I went from being a trim size 6, to an uncomfortable size 14. Mother Nature also gifted me with too many stretch marks to count and some pretty little dimples from cellulite. Also, at this time I was engaged and had to buy a new wedding dress that I didn’t care for five weeks before my wedding.I wish I could say my self confidence came from the inside, but I needed my then fiancé (now husband) to constantly reassure me that he was still attracted to me, I had to buy a whole new wardrobe, and pretend a confidence I didn’t have. It was absolutely depressing to see family that I haven’t seen in a long time rudely comment on my body shape or have people ask me if I was pregnant.

Now it’s been a year and a half, I still have the extra weight. If I start a new medication, I can easily pack on twenty pounds without any change in diet or activity level. If I focus on the constant body fluctuations, my mental health will go down the hill. Here are some ways I am learning to love myself even though it is a constant changing battle:

1) Self Hatred Gets me Nowhere:

I used to focus on the changes to an excess. I would stare in the mirror and see all the changes and be disgusted with myself. I would question why all of it is still there no matter what I try. Words are very important so no at least once a week, I stare and tell myself at least three things I love about myself.

2) Do What You Can to Love Yourself:

Three times a year I go clothes shopping. I focus on buying clothes that are flattering to my body. I also make sure I put on a little makeup and throw a curling iron through my hair.

3) Be Proud of the Inside:

I focus a lot on self growth. I read books, I listen to podcasts, and I do my best to focus on others. Whatever I can do to help those without any expectation. Growing on the inside and becoming genuinely proud of yourself can change your whole world view!

I hope in sharing my vulnerability that you too can walk this road with me to self acceptance and a peace that will take over your mind. The healthiest and most beautiful people are those who have a genuine love for others and themselves.

2 thoughts

Hi, I recently just had a quick chat with you on Instagram! You are completely and utterly gorgeous and the way your husband looks at you is so heart warming. I am a teenage girl whom has been told by a doctor since 8 that I was over weight. I just have a hard time losing it and losing the determination to do so. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and he is my first “teenage” love, lol. He is a very fit guy too, and indeed do I constantly need to be reminded and reassured that he loves me.
You are incredibly relatable and inspiring. I don’t usually read blogs but your catchy titles and posts are so powerful and fun to read. I will read as many of them as I can tonight 🙂 and if you haven’t done one yet I would like to request one of your connection with your mother or father. Something along those lines because my bond with my mother isn’t very strong but my father and I are super close, I agree with the TV male role models post for sure!! They need more positive ones! Anyway, thank you for dedicating your time to make such great blogs!

Hi Alyssa, you are absolutely inspirational! Thank you so much for taking the time to support and read.. Your comment here is so humbling that his little blog I wrote for fun is relating to people in a impacting way just by sharing my thoughts. Have a wonderful Tuesday!

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Gwendolyn has lived in Winnipeg, Canada for the past seven years. She is married to the love of her life Rob who also is co producer and editor of GFiola blog. Their lifelong goal is to relate and inspire others through the sharing of their own experiences.
They love their cozy home, watching stand up comics, and have a lovely little pup Charlie!