Be It Ever So Messy, There's No Place Like Home: The "Adventures" of a 50-Something Southern California Mom - who used to be interesting... and her teenage daughter.

January 2007

January 29, 2007

It was 6:00 a.m. Saturday morning. For some reason, the husband had awakened REALLY EARLY. On weekends, he often goes to Starbucks to bring me a latte in bed (which I really enjoy). He was already back. He'd only gotten as far as our driveway.

"Someone broke into both our cars overnight."

I'm awake now.

"The passenger side windows are smashed. They took your iPod."

Now I'm really awake. I put on clothes and survey the damage. It's still dark, but it's not hard to see the safety glass still crumbling in the car doors. Bits of glass are everywhere. I had thought that the alarms that came with our cars would go off in the event of a break-in, but apparently, that doesn't work if you smash the window on the passenger side. You learn something new every day.

My husband's iPod was also connected to the sound system in his car, but it wasn't taken. Weird, because mine is a discontinued pink mini, while his is a 30 GB video iPod. We conclude that they just didn't see it in the dark.

Gareth looks for the number for the police. It had been raining on and off all night (yet the cars are not wet; we think the theft may not have occurred too long ago). Our phone line crackles; this happens to us every time it rains. He looks for his cell phone -- then he realizes that he left it in his car and that's missing, too.

I call our cell carrier to report the theft. It turns out that a one-minute call was made on the phone (not by us) at 3:05 a.m. and another one was made at 5:07, both to local numbers ("Probably to another stolen cell phone," I grumble.) This information is available by logging into our account online; we print it out so we can give the numbers to the police.

The cops ask my husband for a physical description of HIMSELF. (WHY?? WE'RE the victims here!!) Age, height, etc. They also asked for one of me. When they asked my weight, I balked. NO ONE GETS TO KNOW WHAT I WEIGH. "About 150," my husband told them. I didn't argue. That's bad enough, but the truth is worse.

They take the report and the numbers from the cell account. We have the option of taking the cars down to Van Nuys division to get fingerprinted. "Is it worth it?" my husband asked. The officer on the phone was noncommittal. Gareth calls the number and finds out that no one is available to do it until Monday. We decide it's not really worth it.

I call our insurance company. Personal items taken from the car are not covered and with a $500 deductible on each car, there is no reason to file a claim, unless it turns out the damage is more than a broken window on each vehicle.

The things we had planned to do Saturday morning were forgotten. We spend the rest of the day trying to fix and replace what we lost. Gareth locates an auto window place that can do the windows that morning if we get our cars there by 9:30. My Volvo is the more difficult model to work with, so I leave first while my husband drops our daughter off at gymnastics.

In the light, we notice that the leather on our passenger seats has been damaged by the glass, and there are big, ugly scratches all over the leather on my husband's center armrest. My glove box had been pried open and now it won't shut properly. We may have to make an insurance claim after all. My car is a lease and it will cost me a fortune if I turn it in with anything more than "normal" wear and tear.

I call one of the other gym moms and arrange for Megan to go home with her after their training -- just in case we don't finish in time.

"I can't believe this! You live in such a nice neighborhood," she exclaims, as if now our street is tainted.

We've lived here over 10 years and this is the first time anything like this has ever happened to us. That's probably pretty good for a city like Los Angeles. Of course, until six months ago, I was driving an ancient, beat-up little Saturn. Not much chance of finding any valuables in that thing. My beautiful new Volvo (which has not been driven enough miles to qualify for its first maintenance service) might have looked like a big bullseye to these guys.

I make the observation that the crooks managed to take the two things I have (other than my husband and daughter) that give me the most pleasure -- my comfortable new car and my little pink iPod. I think about the Buddhist warning against becoming too attached to your possessions. Perhaps this is some kind of karmic reminder of what's really important in life.

I quickly forget about karma. We need to replace my husband's cell phone. The auto glass place is a couple of miles from a mall, so we take a little walk, arriving in front of the phone kiosk just minutes before it opens. We had been told by our carrier that since the phone was stolen, we are entitled to some kind of discount on a replacement. The guy in the store gives us three options: $69 with a 2-year contract extension, $119 for one year or $179 to buy a new phone without an extension.

We had not been planning on extending our contract any further. We've been with our carrier for about five years and we've been happy with them. Our entire family is with them and so our calls to each other are free. However, it seems like another company has been putting more money into their network, and we had all decided to let our contracts lapse so we have the option of switching.

The phone salesman was not willing to deal. A little sympathy to our plight may have made a big difference in our attitude, but this guy simply had no people skills. We walked out and called the cell carrier, who confirmed that our "discount" was contingent upon another contract extension.

We've been angry for some time over the way the cell companies lock you in to long contracts. I know it's the cost of doing business, that these phones are all heavily subsidized by the companies so you will pay for the service. I've calmed down a bit now and I don't care (especially since discovering that my sister broke down a month ago and bought herself a new phone with a 2-year extension). But my husband won't hear of it. That's a subject for a future rant.

Our next stop was the Apple Store. I half-heartedly suggested that I could live without a new iPod and was relieved when my husband insisted that we were getting one anyway. I'm glad, because my iPod wasn't just a way to listen to music in the car... It was an essential tool, making hated tasks like housework more enjoyable, allowing me to boogie to my favorite tunes, even when the rest of the family was watching TV, enabling me to catch up on favorite radio shows when I was stuck somewhere. And I loved the fact that it was a girly shade of pink.

But shortly after I purchased my pretty pink iPod, Apple discontinued it and brought out the Nano. I gotta tell you -- I think the Nano is a little bit TOO small. And even though it now comes in colors, I don't like them as much as the pretty pastel range of the Minis. Plus, an 8 GB Nano is the SAME PRICE as a full-sized 30 GB iPod with video capability.

So I ended up with a full-sized white one. I dressed it up with a pretty pink brushed metal and acrylic case (not pastel, unfortunately), and also bought a FM transmitter so I can play my music in the car again. And last night, I downloaded a couple of TV show episodes, so now I can watch them while I'm sitting at the gym during Megan's training. I'm sure I will soon love my new player. But I had been happy with the old one and hadn't had any intention of replacing it any time soon.

When I was a kid, someone once broke into our house while we were at school. I remember how violated the whole family felt, and this definitely feels the same. I cannot get over the fact that late at night, when everyone is asleep, there are strangers walking down our street, peering into parked cars. I imagine these guys carrying baseball bats and smashing the windows - oh, so carefully so as not to set off any alarms. I'm grateful that's all they did. It terrifies me that someone might try to break into the house.

Saturday night, I woke up at 1:00 a.m., after dozing off while watching TV on the living room couch. All our lights were on, and I considered leaving them on all night. I tried to, but couldn't get back to sleep. I reminded myself that it wasn't likely the same guys would come back again.

January 26, 2007

Today, I begin a series of posts about kid-friendly sites in Cardiff from our recent UK visit. I wrote this in longhand during our recent visit to Cardiff:

I text my husband: "I'M IN HELL."

The Hades in question is 123 Jump, a huge indoor playground for the elementary school set.

The truth, however, is that it's not that bad -- definitely not as bad as one would expect, given the fact that it's a rainy afternoon during Christmas break, and it appears that every harried mum in Cardiff has had the same idea. After all, what else do you do with your energetic little tykes when your home is too tiny to contain them and the parks are too cold and wet for comfort?

No matter how many terrific sites you see on a vacation with kids, they need some time and space to unwind and run around. That's why we try to build park and playground visits on our family trips. And this place happens to be the best run indoor play establishment I've ever visited. It puts Chuck E. Cheese to shame.

Housed in a gigantic strudcture within a modern industrial park, 123 Jump's centerpiece is a monstrous climbing structure. It also boasts a trampoline (supervised and sheltered with security netting), coin-operated bowling, age-appropriate video games, a moonbounce, ball pit, preschool area, and a decent cafe, which swerves healthy meal options in addition to the usual kid favorites like sausage, chicken nuggets and chips.

Unfortunately, we've arrived too late to commandeer a nice table in the cafe, and as I'm laden with all the coats, jackets and backpacks brought by my daughter and two nephews, I'm not in a good position to hover round so I can swoop in on a table as soon as it becomes empty. Besides, there aren't any. The lucky parents already here are in position for the duration.

Fortunately, 123 Jump has plenty of wide, cushioned benches situated throughout the facility, so I at least have a place to dump said accoutrements while I settle in for our visit. I'll deal with the tabvle situation should the kids stop running around long enough to realize they're hungry.

In the meantime, if the noise gets too unbearable, I can move into the sound-proofed quiet room where I can keep tabs on the little monkeys via CCTV.

That never happened. And at 4:00, as the time rolled around for the mums to gather up their kids and start cooking dinner, several tables freed up in the cafe... which is a good thing, because as I predicted, the kids suddenly decided they were hungry. We ended up visiting 123 Jump three times over the three weeks we were in Cardiff, and the kids never got tired of it. Weirdly enough, neither did I. It's kind of nice to have a little time to sit by yourself with a book and know that the kids are happy and safe (the place has tons of staff supervising all the areas. That does not excuse you from your own duties -- but right now, with an almost-11 year old, I don't feel as compelled to watch her every single second of the day in a place like this.)

January 17, 2007

The weather today is cold and dreary (much like Britain) and the sameness of everything is getting me down. I wish I could just stay in bed. And I would, but I need to get the kid to school.

She doesn't feel like doing much, either -- most of her class went off on a three-day field trip to Astro Camp. I didn't sign her up for it because it was too close on the heels of our UK trip and she has a gymnastics meet this weekend and I was afraid going on the field trip would tire her out too much. She's been very unhappy with me. I would have loved for her to go if they'd scheduled it for a different time, but someone in this relationship has to be the parent, and I'm sorry to say that person is me.

So she's been relegated to one of the other (less high achieving) classes while all her friends are gone. Last night, she kept complaining that the homework she was assigned was too easy. That doesn't mean she finished it quickly -- she stalled and hemmed and hawed as much as she always does and ended up dashing the remainder off after dinner last night.

Right now, she's not in any hurry to get ready for school, either - so I will have to turn into my usual morning shrew and get her ready by the sheer force of my nagging. I'd be doing it now except I feel so BLAH.

Fortunately, she only needs to spend a couple of hours in the other classroom. I'm taking her out of school at 10:00 this morning to attend a tour of the middle school magnet we've applied to for next year. At 1:30 is another one, for the one up the street from our house (which needs no application). I've visited both, but I was surprised at how many parents brought their kids -- and yes, that included most of the kids in her class. Whichever one we end up at, it will be her home for the next three years, so I suppose it makes sense to see what's in store (and hopefully, get excited about it).

January 13, 2007

I still have some material to post about our recent visit to the UK -- and a lot to say about what I've been doing since we came back. Those will have to wait. In the meantime, check out my latest post over at DotMoms.

January 10, 2007

The way I see it, I'm not really nine days late. I can't really deal with any life-changing decisions like resolutions until we are home, my daughter is back at school, and I can resume the old routine that needs to be tweaked.

So yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life.

The last several years, I've only had two resolutions:

Take better care of my family

Take better care of myself

The first one usually focuses on things financial -- and I spent a good portion of the morning combing through the mountain of mail we received while we were gone, picking out the bills, and paying them. It's a little more complicated than just writing a check -- I had to download last month's bank statement so I could see exactly how much money came in and out of the checking account while we were away, reconcile it in Quicken and then pay the bills.

It's not a lot of fun. But I resolve to do a better job of staying on top of it this year.

I have also resolved to do a lot more cooking in 2007. This is something I used to enjoy a lot -- but that was before I gave birth to a picky eater and my weight ballooned to the point that the kitchen lost all its appeal to me. Megan's crazy gymnastics schedule was the final nail in the culinary coffin -- my husband HATES anything prepared in a crockpot, and there's little else I can do when I've been sitting at a gym with her until 8:00 and we're not home until 8:30 and I have to get something on the table quickly so she can get to bed by 9:00. So Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are pretty much a lost cause: last night, we had pasta and we'll probably continue to have take-out on the other nights.

But that still leaves me Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. So on those days, I'm going to search out healthy recipes and rediscover my inner chef. That's the plan.

Which brings me back to taking care of myself. A couple of years ago, I lost 20 pounds on the South Beach Diet and I found it very easy to live with. Until I went off the wagon over the holidays -- and never got back on. I tried - but I think that ship has sailed (I know - mixed metaphor - stay with me here).

Saturday, I went on Amazon and ordered their current top selling diet book:

I don't know if I'll like it. If not, I'll keep looking. But if I do, it will be a nice change from South Beach. Over the years, I've concluded that the weight control thing is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life, but the good news is that there is more than one way to reach your goal -- and if something that used to work for you no longer does, it's OK to try something new.

There are other things I need to do for myself that I haven't made time to do in the last few years: exercise, doctor appointments, etc.