Slashing through the lane
In their Nike Shox
Through defenders they go
They’re shook out of their socks
Soles on sneakers squeak
Making ankles snap
What fun it is to scream “Shit’s weak!”
And give their man a slap

Oh, Raptors ball, Raptors ball
Raptors all the way
Oh, what fun it is to watch
Jose get beat every play
Raptors ball, Raptors ball
Raptors all the way
Oh, what fun it is to watch
Banks do nothing and get paid

Last Saturday night
I thought I’d watch a game
The Raps could play no D
It seemed nothing had changed
Their O was tight and hot
Though it just was not enough
Andrea’s attempt at help defense
Resulted in a stuff

Oh, Raptors ball, Raptors ball
Raptors all the way
Oh what fun it is to watch
Antoine Wright attempt to play
Raptors ball, Raptors ball
Raptors all the way
Oh what fun it is to witness
CB4’s dismay

Raptors ball, Raptors ball
Raptors every night
To find his way to the basket
‘Drea may need a flashlight
Raptors ball, Raptors ball
Raptors now and then
Suicide rates will double
If Bosh leaves in twenty-ten

"Last Saturday night
I thought I’d watch a game
The Raps could play no D
It seemed nothing had changed
Their O was tight and hot
Though it just was not enough
Andrea’s attempt at help defense
Resulted in a stuff"

By far the most fluid stanza - and the funniest. PLus it puts Bargs in a positive light - not too shabby.

Happy X-mas (Toronto Raptors) - a la John Lennon

So these are our Raptors
And what have they done
They've spent 15 years playing
Losing much more than they've won
And so these are our Raptors
Losing hasn't been fun
They say they've been trying
And that the franchise is still young

Yes we love our Raptors
We're still here to cheer
Players come and they go
But Fans will always be here

And these are our Raptors
Our future looks strong
But we need to win in the playoffs
Or else Chris Bosh will be gone
So let's cheer for the Raptors
Home game wins are the key
This season's too important
So let's not give up on this team

Yes we love our Raptors
They're Canada's team
Let's hope this season's a good one
Cuz we'll need Bosh to succeed

And so these are our Raptors
Owned by MLSE
They tell us they've been trying
And so has BC
And so these are our Raptors
We want a championship team
We hope it'll happen
As fans it's truly our dream

Yes we love our Raptors
We're still here to cheer
Players come and they go
But Fans will always be here

Win a title, in our lifetime
Win a title, now

Happy X-mas (Toronto Raptors)

Last edited by James Ballswin (Realizar); Mon Dec 14th, 2009 at 11:35 AM.

Slashing like a pro
He passed up an open trey
Toward the rim he goes
But little does he know
Waiting 'neath the rim
The Big Diesel he will find
Making Raptor fans cringe
As Kid gets knocked on his 'hind

DeRozan fell, DeRozan fell
Everybody pray!
Oh, how we hope that he's okay
'Cause the future's kinda gray! (Hey!)
DeRozan fell, DeRozan fell
Not a soul thinks Bosh will stay
Oh, how we need a decent young piece
With our cap space on the decrease

The fans are out of their seats
But on the floor he lies
That's not a nickname, Devlin
It's actually a cup size
The Kool-Aid has been drunk
He is the future of this team
Now who will get the highlight dunks?
And don't say Sonny Weems!

DeRozan fell, DeRozan fell
Everybody pray!
Oh, how we hope that he's okay
'Cause the future's kinda gray! (Hey!)
DeRozan fell, DeRozan fell
Not a soul thinks Bosh will stay
Oh, how we need a decent young piece
With our cap space on the decrease

Deck the halls with Reggie’s trophies
Fa-la-la …
Instead of John they’ll call you Sophie
Fa-la-la …
(When) he returns you’ll be in trouble
Fa-la-la la-la-la …
(He’ll) reach right through and take a double
Fa-la-la-la-la …

While he roams there on the sideline
Fa-la-la …
Giving fashion tips if you’re blind
Fa-la-la …
(Don’t) let his smiling face now fool you
Fa-la-la la-la-la …
If he can he will de-ball you
Fa-la-la … …

This Rift (sung to 98 Degrees - This Gift)

The shots aren't falling, and nothing is right
My eyes are bleeding watching Raptors tonight
And I'm not alone
Lose the game at home
We're out of luck – no pizza again

The night is violent
And clipboards break here
I couldn't ask for more from Chris Bosh this year

But I love you, Raps
I always will (perhaps)
But now I know the mojo ain't right
The mojo ain't right

'Cause I've been waiting to mend this rift tonight
His game is so wrong, but his words is Wright
It's something to hope for as long as he's gimped
Tonight we need some toughness (Oh, lord!) from Reggie Evans, pimps!

I thought he'd give us a big shot or two
Instead turnovers came from Turkoglu
But I realized
When there is no pride
There's some things that money can't buy!
(Oh, no!)

I fear the Magic, whenever they're here
I fear them even more with Carter this year

But I love you, Raps
I always will (perhaps)
But now I know the mojo ain't right
The mojo ain't right

'Cause I've been waiting to mend this rift tonight
His game is so wrong, but his words is Wright
It's something to hope for as long as he's gimped
Tonight we need some toughness from Reggie Evans, pimps!

You know I'll always be tuned to you
And you know I'm online on the boards, too
(Oh, oh yeah)
ACC, on the road, or anywhere
You know I'll be pulling my hair!

'Cause I've been waiting to mend this rift tonight
His game is so wrong, but his words is Wright
It's something to hope for as long as he's gimped
Tonight we need some toughness from Reggie Evans, pimps!

Waiting to mend this rift tonight
His game is so wrong, but his words is Wright
It's something to hope for as long as he's gimped
Tonight we need some toughness from Reggie Evans, pimps!

You better not...

You better not drive
You better not kick
You better not rebound
That isn't our schtick
Not how ball is played in... this town.

You better not rotate
No talkin' on D
Don't get back in transition
Hey you passed up a three!?
Not how ball is played in... this town.

And now a word of warning
If you don't play like you're supposedta
Although it pains us to have to say,
We'll break your shin like Garbajosa

So,
You better not drive
You better not kick
You better not rebound
That isn't our schtick
Not how ball is played in... this town.
(reprise last line)
If you wanna do that shit, go and play in Cleveland with Lebron.
Whoooooa yeeeaaahhh!

There stands Rasho N., there stands Rasho N.,
Camping in the key
Jose and Marco and all his bitches
Giving up the threes
Mesh is swishing, fans are crying
Just an ordinary day
Realgm has to change their pants
When Rasho says “Let’s NBA”!

There goes Rasho N., there goes Rasho N.,
Jogging to the net
He’s got the knees of a very old man
But he’s still our trusty vet
Watch him move at a snails pace
He just might leave his feet
Rasho N. lost his virginity
While you were at your Mother’s teet!

There sits Rasho N., there sits Rasho N.,
Resting on the bench
He’s so deep and quiet
His mind’s like an ocean trench
Heaven knows we’re Rasho’s children
Our Mother’s could not resist
Rumour says under his beard
He has an extra fist!

There walks Rasho N., there walks Rasho N.,
Tto the lockeroom
When Jose hands out gatorade
Rasho beats him with a broom
Hungry children will find food
If we pray to Rasho at night
Rasho N. wears no left shoes
Because Rasho is always right!