This is what happens when the Pulp Fiction guy and the Desperado dude get drunk in a bar and conjure up a movie together: a wildly uneven yet marvelously enjoyable gonzo crime horror action thriller vampire thingee, featuring Cheech Marin playing at least three different roles, supporting performances by the likes of such genre veterans as Tom Savini (as Sex Machine) and Fred Williamson (as Frost, which isn’t as cool a name as “Sex Machine,” but whatever) and a rather moving interpretive dance number by a scantily clad Salma Hayek (accompanied by a big snake). The plot? The notorious Gecko Brothers (George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino himself) take a family (consisting of Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis and Ernest Liu) hostage and make a mad dash for Mexico in a winnebago; the spicy dive they patronize at the border (called “The Titty Twister,” ’cause writer Quentin says so) ends up being a haven for nasty vampires, with which they engage in glorious, bloody battle. Director Robert Rodriguez, as always, puts on a damn good show, and his cast seems to feel much obliged to have been asked to provide the entertainment.