Saturday, December 28, 2013

Saturday Letters.

Dear Keith movie, I loved you. You were such a good movie and I would like to thank you. What for? For reminding me that yes I do in fact still love Jesse McCartney. My fifteen year old self is very happy about his. Dear Chuck, yes. It is a fine morning. Dear Aunt Susi, thank you for lunch. It's always nice when the three of us get to have "girls lunch". And we all love Panera, it would be nice if they weren't five hundred dollars though. And thank you and Uncle Roger for the Christmas presents. You really didn't have to do that, but thank y'all. Dear Aunt Mary, thank you for the Christmas shirts. They're very pretty and I wore my blue one to work Thursday. Dear Momma, thank you for the Christmas presents too. I know that you really liked having me and Greg both together and home for Christmas this year. Lunch Wednesday was fun, but then again we always have fun when we go out together. And it's so funny that we still remember the Nsync choreography. Dear Greg, thank you for my new bear for Christmas. You're right, my old one used to look pretty new like that one too. By the way your new "lady friend" seems real nice. Notice that I said- seems. She might be as crazy as the rest of them, but she appeared to be nice when I met her. Dear Dani, thank you for the Christmas "wreck it" journal and the jar cookie mix. The cookies turned out real good and made it look like I put a lot of effort into it. Dear Aunt Patsy, thank you for the presents. You didn't have to give me that jacket. The shirt and pants were more than enough, but thank you it's very pretty. And smells good too. Dear Uncle Kenny, thank you for cooking dinner. It was very tasty, and you know I love me some ham salad. Dear Uncle Jimmy, thank you for fixing dinner too. Like I said- it was very tasty and that banana split cake was real good. Thank you for not putting coconut on it so that I could eat it. Dear Uncle Darrell, we all had fun when y'all came over on Christmas eve. We should do it more often. Dear radio, I am so beyond happy to not have to listen to the same five Christmas songs anymore. Well, at least for another year. Dear office, it's nice to have you back to normal. I couldn't get the tree and all of the Christmas decorations down fast enough. Welcome back old friend. Dear Netflix, I miss you when you're gone my friend. Dear Jason Momoa, you are such a badass. Seriously. You kicked ass as Conan, I know because I watched it Christmas night, and everything else that i've ever seen you in. Not to mention that look. Yeah, you know which one I'm talking about. Dear John Mayer, why are you Waiting on the world to change? What if it doesn't change for the better? What if everyone all of the sudden decides that they hate John Mayer and not only do they never buy another one of his records again, but also they boycott all of his shows and burn his old records? Think about it Mayer. Dear Kristi, it's crazy that you and my mother are linked from twenty/thirty some odd years ago. Out of all of the girls that my brother could have found, how freaky is that? I guess it really is a small world after all. Dear people reporting about Tori Spelling's husband cheating on her, seriously? Y'all didn't see that one coming? No one is that damn happy. Besides we all know that Donna Martin and David Silver are end game. Duh. Dear wreck it journal, I don't really know what to do with you. I know that I'm supposed to destroy you, and that I can't really mess you up because that's your purpose, but I don't know if I want to. I usually always carry some kind of book with me, but the thought of carrying one around with me at all times filled with dirt, snot, saliva, vomit, hair and possibly poo (not mine some peoples though) really freaks me out and seems...well...disgusting. I'm gonna try though. Dear Shylyn, you and all your black clothes and stuff. I'm not judging, because lord knows that's how I used to dress, but do me a favor? Don't get one of those big ass tattoos across your throat like that dude you like. Please. I love tattoos and don't mind piercings, but that's pushing it. By the way, you made out like a bandit for Christmas. And thanks for the chicken nuggets and tea. By the way, your hair is SO black. Dear The East and The Purge movies,Purge- you were good, but I guessed what was happening before it even happened. Good and scary, but predictable. East- you were amazing! Seriously, I loved it. Alexander Skarsgard never disappoints me. Ever. Dear Gossip Girl, I don't know if I like you or not. I made it through season one on Netflix, but I'm still not sure about it. All I know is even though he's a total douche, I'm still- #TeamChuck. Yeah, I know. Dear Charlie, I'm glad that your daddy is doing a little better. I know that you've been worried. Dear Thursday and Friday workdays, seriously? Could you have went any damn slower? It was like the days that wouldn't come to an end. It was horrible and torturous and I am officially abhorred by you! Yeah, I'm a little dramatic, but both does were extremely long. Dear Tumblr, I love you and all of your pictures. You make my life much simpler. Just saying. And of course thanks to the people who put the pictures and Gifs on there.

If you mustache me a question, go for it.

Chances are, I'm gonna show up in boots.

No doubt about it.

Tayder thinks I'm an embarrassing kind of mom.

I enjoy dressing in camo and wearing antlers.

I have a soft spot for gingers.

And I know everybody thinks their dog is the cutest.... but mine really is.

I was born on the 13th and tell people it was a Friday (it was really a Tuesday).

I love sharing "throwbacks" because they crack me up.

If it ain't Mario Bros on the Nintendo, I give up.

The only marathon I need or want.... like ever.

Sometimes I make random ass collages.... just because.

Remember being seventeen?!

Yeah, it wasn't as great as what you remember it being.

If Lizzy Caplan isn't one of your heroes, you should reevaluate that.

My family has just pretty much given up on me to stop saying f*ck.

They've also given up on trying to get me to wear "normal" pants.

I watch WAY too many true crime documentaries.

The first crush I ever remember having was on Christian Slater... followed by Bruce Campbell.

I have very strange travel destinations in mind.

Told you my hair and face was insane. (Also, booze).

Enjoy your time here.

I just wanted y'all to know that Charlie Kelly is my spirit animal.

If your picture is here.... my bad, homie.

IJTLFAT claims no credit for most of the images posted on this site unless they are blurry and sometimes in questionable taste cell phone pictures of random shit from my actual phone or they're from my past excursions..... something like that. Images on this blog are copyright to their respectful owners. If there is an image appearing on this blog that belongs to you and you do not wish for it appear on this sarcastic, but also sometimes serious blog, please email with a link to said image and it will be promptly removed. And before you even ask, yes, I'm really sorry about it.

If you've made it this far on my blog.... I commend you.

I should also probably apologize for my excessive use of the word f*ck, calling people bitch more often than not, and for talking about literally nothing to the point that it could melt brains. However, I apologize for none of it. BECAUSE I DO WHAT I WANT. Except for the picture notice that's above this. I totally meant that.