In a transcript for a never-before-seen installment of Iwata Asks unearthed by Nintendo Gamer, the president of Nintendo explains to legendary director Steven Spielberg why it would not be acceptable to put Mario in the fridge.

Here at Kotaku we've become big fans of Nintendo Gamer's Iwata Asks parody series, riffing on Nintendo's own interview series by pairing up the executive with some unlikely celebrities and public figures. Figures like British deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. Fake Iwata poses the tough questions to fake Clegg, such as why do people dislike his association with UK Prime Minister David Cameron.

Iwata: Is it because you said ‘we will not raise university fees'. But then, when in power, you say ‘we will raise university fees'? [Laughs]

Clegg: Probably.

Iwata: In a similar way, we promised Skyward Sword for early 2011, but did not deliver the game until November 2011. Only that was a videogame, and this is people's livelihoods. [Laughs]

I prefer Matthew Castle's installment from earlier this month myself, in which Nintendo's boss takes on one of Hollywood's biggest names.

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Iwata: In a similar way, audiences expect to see their Belgian hero Tintin come alive. But when they look into his eyes, they know he is far from alive. [Laughs]

Spielberg: That's a little unfair.

Iwata: You could say, he has the dead eyes of a serial killer. [Laughs]

Spielberg: [Silence]

Iwata: Your new film, War Horse, is about horses. Horses have big eyes. I hope the horse did not take acting lessons from Tintin. [Laughs]

It's so amazingly dead on I'll never be able to look Iwata in the face without breaking out laughing again.

Hit up the links to read the full Nintendo Gamer Iwata Asks saga. There are only two right now, but they've promised us Uggie the Nintendo spokesdog for the next installment. We can't wait.