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Christmas Presence 2012

I’m a little late getting into the Christmas spirit this year, partly because I missed my traditional opening to the Christmas Season, Christmas at Hycroft, thanks to the month-long Death Flu of Death flu that sent me to the hospital a couple of times instead of to the mall to see Santa like normal. But today at Starbucks I did indulge myself in a new Christmas album of jazz/lounge standards, of which I have an extensive collection, and I’m taking this as the official start of the season. It’ll sit nicely between my Ren & Stimpy Christmas Album and that one by the Gospel singer with the incredibly moving voice who was convicted of beating his wife.

But there’s one Christmas tradition that never gets old for me: pimping out my Christmas List to tens of thousands of people on social media, in the vague hope that one or more of them will weaken and buy me something. So without further ado, here is what I want, and how and when I want it.

That has never worked for me on OK Cupid, so I might as well try it here.

a pony. I’m fat now, Santa, so make it a sturdy Welsh Cob or Connemara pony.

a new hat, to replace the one that got stolen, my lamented and loved Official Indiana Jones Stetson which I bought on the very last day that Woodwards was open.

Chanel Allure perfume

Viktor & Rolf Spice Bomb perfume

any of Biella Coleman’s books or books about WikiLeaks except Julian Assange’s Cypherpunks, which I already have

an MP3 player, preferably an iPod Touch (used is fine) so I can get back into running without getting bored out of my mind

iPhone and a Virgin plan, because of all the places I’ve tried Virgin is the ONLY company that always has great service

enter the fool into a gd mall??? Wtf you are a thief a grifter a liar of astronomical proportions. Narcissistic personality disorder is indicative of an opathy that you know you have its easy to diagnose in your case you’re a Sociopath simply put. You steal, of this you take pride, you fawn over
yourself thinking that all feel that way about you but I know you the read the words you leave behind. Simple words. Those are the verbiage of the undereducated. If you made manic use of the Temple of Books you’d have at minimum the ability to fool persons unknown to you for a lot longer ergo your booty would be large and all that have removed your masks could have