Reviews of Adelaide's Finest Restaurants, by Someone Who Knows Nothing About Food

About

Greetings fellow feeder!

The story of The Feed Report

I was never much into food. I have no desire to cook, much as I have no desire to clean the toilet. As such, I’ve never bothered to cook. I do like to eat food, but the rest is just another chore. I’ve been through the frozen food phase, then I started going to an all-you-can-eat place near where I used to live… every night. There was nothing else close by.

That was a good solution.

Then I moved closer to the city. I found a new place, with better food. I went there almost every night for a few months. I ate everything on the menu, more than once, and would always look forward to the days when the Specials Board changed, because I could eat something new.

Then came the time when the specials board didn’t change. I think I had eaten the same meal about five nights in a row, and one night, I finally cracked. I thought “Why am I eating here every night?” So I hopped in my car, and headed to the nearest other restaurant. The meal was okay, but it was great to just have something different for a change. The following night, I didn’t go back there, but decided to go to another restaurant, with even finer cuisine.

There was no going back to routinely eating at the same humdrum place, or foraging for McCain’s in the freezer.

I marched out onto the street, and tore away my suit and tie, to reveal a gleaming “F” and a blue cape. Then I flew off into the city.

Since that day, it has been my mission to go to a new fancy restaurant every day.

This site chronicles that mission.

Scores

My feedings are scored thus:

10

Amazing.

9

7

8

Good-tasting restaurant food.

6

5

Mediocre, but not distasteful. No better than a pasty or frozen meal at home.