It’s Hot And I Want To Get Drunk: 10 Refreshing Summer Cocktails

What is it about oppressive heat that just makes you want to set yourself on fire? Look, life is unceasingly rough. There are a lot of reasons to drink in this world, and I’m happy to use any of them.

Because I am exceptionally privileged and lucky, my life has actually been pretty easy and I don’t really have that many reasons to drink. Except that I like it and it’s delicious and oh for fuck’s sake I can’t even write this because it’s so goddamn hot that my brain has melted down my spinal cord like froyo and is now collecting around my kidneys. This is just basic science.

Anyways, you’re probably melting like I am (or maybe you’re one of those terrible humans who always looks put together and elegant even in crushingly hot and humid climates, in which case, you don’t get any cocktails because your life is perfect and you’ll get yours, one day), and you need a pick-me-up that will cool you down while dulling your senses.

I’ve put together 10 refreshing summer cocktails with delicious, cooling ingredients like cucumbers, citrus, and mint. So go home, strip off all of your clothes, and drink up. You deserve it.