Please don't wipe your butt on the carpet. I understand that sometimes you have "leftovers" after you do your litterbox business, but you were given a nice, scrubby tongue to wash yourself with. You do not need to walk through the kitchen and plop down on the living room carpet and proceed to do the "drag and scoot" across the room. It might feel good, but I do not particularly like the brown streaks it leaves. I am tired of having to yell, "Wiper, no wiping!" (even though your name is Ziggy).

I have a tale about Captain Dingleberry, but it's better saved for the gross-out thread.

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That dampness I felt when Luna sat on my lap when I was wearing shorts? Yeah. Ew.

The reason you are kept in a carrier during car rides is for hygiene as well as your safety. You lost any claim to vehicular free-roam when you chose to sit in my lap and defecate rather than use the litterbox I put in the floorboard for this purpose.

The reason you are kept in a carrier during car rides is for hygiene as well as your safety. You lost any claim to vehicular free-roam when you chose to sit in my lap and defecate rather than use the litterbox I put in the floorboard for this purpose.

I love you but seriously - you're gross sometimes.

Love,MommyBean

Ok, yall have got to stop. Im sick, and laughing is incredibly hard right now!

The reason you are kept in a carrier during car rides is for hygiene as well as your safety. You lost any claim to vehicular free-roam when you chose to sit in my lap and defecate rather than use the litterbox I put in the floorboard for this purpose.

I love you but seriously - you're gross sometimes.

Love,MommyBean

Ok, yall have got to stop. Im sick, and laughing is incredibly hard right now!

But seriously. In your lap?

Yep - right in my lap. I couldn't believe it and was seeing red until I could pull over and find a gas station to clean up with the free paper towels at the gas pump.

After my mother passed, the question came up as to what to do with her cat, Crookatail. I couldn't take her, my middle sister couldn't take her, and no one wanted my brother to have her. So it was decided that oldest sister would take her back to Florida with her on the plane. So OS takes Crookatail to the airport in her carrier, where they run up against the TSA. The agent insists that OS remove the cat from her carrier and that OS carry her through the scanner while the carrier goes through the machine. As soon as my sister went through the scanner, Crookatail decided to barf, urinate, and defecate all over the place. The agent says, "You'll have to clean that up." OS says, "how?" and agent says "not my problem." Poor OS had to go to the restroom, clean up Crookatail, get paper towels, and come back to clean up the mess. She then had to fly all the way to Florida smelling of cat.

On the other hand, Crookatail is one of the few cats in Florida that has her own trust fund, thanks to Mom.

After my mother passed, the question came up as to what to do with her cat, Crookatail. I couldn't take her, my middle sister couldn't take her, and no one wanted my brother to have her. So it was decided that oldest sister would take her back to Florida with her on the plane. So OS takes Crookatail to the airport in her carrier, where they run up against the TSA. The agent insists that OS remove the cat from her carrier and that OS carry her through the scanner while the carrier goes through the machine. As soon as my sister went through the scanner, Crookatail decided to barf, urinate, and defecate all over the place. The agent says, "You'll have to clean that up." OS says, "how?" and agent says "not my problem." Poor OS had to go to the restroom, clean up Crookatail, get paper towels, and come back to clean up the mess. She then had to fly all the way to Florida smelling of cat.

On the other hand, Crookatail is one of the few cats in Florida that has her own trust fund, thanks to Mom.

I would have been tempted to just leave the mess. Not saying I would have done it (TSA would probably taze anyone you tried that) but the temptation would have been there. I've never flown with a cat but I can only imagine trying to hold a struggling cat and walking through the metal detector (or nudie-picture-taker, YMMV).

I did see a woman with a very tiny yappy-type-dog (teacup maltese?) get "randomly selected" at LAX. They gave this woman a full physical in full view of everyone (not sure why they didn't move her out of sight but she didn't protest). And she had to hold the dog through the entire thing. Apparently teacup-sized dogs are a sure sign of terrorism.

"I feel sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is so low, in fact, that Miss Manners feels sure you would not want to resort to it yourself, even in your own defense. We do not believe in retaliatory rudeness." Judith Martin