Congressman apologizes for being offensive to Munchkins. Fixes it by referring to them as “abnormal.” Plus cornball brothers and Bizarro Jesus!

There’s some strange stuff in the news today, and because I’m bored, I’m going to show them to you. First, Rob Parker of Detroit Free Press fame, goes on ESPN to question RGIII’s blackness.

“Let me say this, I’m uncomfortable where we just went.” Aaaaand cut. Classic. Next thing you know, RGIII will be doing stuff like playing golf and having sex with non-black hookers. Reminds of this guy…

That guy doesn’t have dreads though.

Next up, a guy who may or may not look like Jesus, but looks a lot like what a bunch of people think Jesus might have looked like, gets removed from a darts competition because the ridiculously large crowd of darts-loving drunk Brits can’t keep their stuff together. Apparently their chants of “Stand up if you love Jesus” was too distracting to the players. As such, “Jesus” was removed:

If that guy was really Jesus, he would have calmed the crowd, while simultaneously tossing 10 consecutive bulls-eyes. Just sayin’.

And last but not least, Dem. Rep. Hank Johnson of Georgia, spends over five minutes in an empty room, apologizing for call vertically-challenged people “midgets,” apparently at the request of bat-s**t-crazy Illinois Rep. Jan Schakowsky. He fixes the problem by calling them “abnormally small.”

I like how it’s just Johnson, Schakowsky, and the court reporter.

This would be surprising if Johnson wasn’t the same guy who worried about Guam tipping over a few years ago due to over-population. Here’s that flashback.