What if God used Unix?

The Online Book of Genesis (To justify God's ways to the 21st century)

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said:

$ Let there be light!
Enter user id.
$ God
Enter password.
$ Omniscient
Password incorrect. Try again.
$ Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Try again.
$ Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
$ Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
$ Create light
Done
$ Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
$ Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
$ Create firmament
Done.
$ Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
$ Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the
dry land appear and
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
$ Create dry_land
Done.
$ Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
$ Create lights in the firmament to divide day from night
Unspecified type. Try again.
$ Create sun_moon_stars
Done
$ Run sun_moon_stars
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
$ Create fish
Done
$ Create fowl
Done
$ Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
cree-peth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl
after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
$ Create cattle
Done
$ Create creepy_things
Done
$ Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
$ Create man
Done
$ Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
do-minion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over
every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
$ Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
$ Insert breath
Done
$ Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
$ Move man to Garden of Eden
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
$ Create Garden.edn
Done
$ Move man to Garden.edn
Done
$ Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
$ Copy woman from man
Done
$ Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 3 errors.
$ Insert woman into man
Illegal parameters. Try again.
$ Insert man into woman
Done
$ Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
$ Create desire
Done
$ Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
$ Create freewill
Done
$ Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
$ Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
$ Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
$ Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
$ Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
$ Create good, evil
Done
$ Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
$ Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
$ Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has en activated.
$ Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
$ Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
$ Break
$ Break
$ Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR
DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
$ Create new world
You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
$ Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
$ Destroy earth confirmed
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00
AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
Approx. funds remaining: $0.00.