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A couple of weeks ago I posted an entry entitled “You Fell In Love With ANOTHER Straight Girl.” Basically it describes my terrible habit of falling in love with straight girls because of reasons I would like to know. Wouldn’t it be great if a consequence of being gay was that you could only fall in love with other lesbians? Actually that might be terrible because some people just fall in love with the person and you could miss out on a chance with a girl that only currently identifies as straight. But I digress… As mentioned in the previous entry, I have fallen in love (or whatever it was) with more than my fair share of straight girls. While I admit I am the type of person that falls quickly, I think the feelings I developed for these girls were not completely uninfluenced. My feelings grew stronger overtime because in one way or another, I think, these girls reacted positively to my advances.

But recently, one of those said straight girls (who is now one of my best friends) told me why I attract so many straight girls. To put it simply, she said that she and other (straight) girls didn’t see me as someone of the same gender, but more as my own species. In other words, those girls were never attracted to other girls, just me. The first thing I did was smile because what an ego boost. The second thing I did was frown because if they were attracted to me in some way, why couldn’t they admit it or just take a chance with me for my own sanity? Obviously I understand why none of them ever took the chance because a decision like that could potentially shift their lives and it’s difficult to coast out of your comfort zone. If I ever found myself becoming attracted to a man I would most likely be hesitant as well. I say “most likely” because even though something is out of my comfort zone, there is always a high probability of me expressing my emotions.

With this said, was it fair for these girls to express any kind of interest beyond a platonic friendship with me? In principle, hell no. No one likes to be an experiment and the toll each girl has taken on me has been pretty severe. However, I’ve learned from them what I like and dislike and what I deserve. I also appreciate them taking the time to explore their sexualities in the most passive way possible, even if I was at the expense at some point in time. Whenever I can help someone find their path in life I am all for doing.

I hope my grey relationships with self-identifying heterosexual women are coming to a close; and if there are heterosexual women out there who are genuinely curious about their sexuality and want to experiment here are a few tips you can follow:

First and foremost make damn sure you clearly communicate what your intentions are with the lesbian subject.

If you didn’t expect to become attracted to the lesbian subject and you kiss them, and then kiss them again on more than one occasion it is not okay to brush those interactions under the rug.

If the lesbian subject starts to show signs of attachment and you’re not at that level with her, let her know.

Don’t get angry with lesbian subject if she gets angry with you for talking to guys because you have yet to communicate with her.

Don’t be an asshole.

If this is a close friend, know that you are putting your friendship on the line.

Try as best as you can to match up your actions and your words… i.e. Don’t continuously have physical contact and spend absurd amounts of time with each other and ultimately tell her you’re just friends. That’s mean.

While I may seem bitter over straight women, I still believe that lesbians and previously identifying straight women are capable of falling for each other just like lesbians are capable of falling for men. In fact…

Just love who you love damn it. Don’t be afraid to jump. You never know what could happen.

I have just come out to the world , now at my tender age of 45, and i find this happens A LOT!!…for some reason straight girls..or..lost kittens …as i call them…just seem to be totally infatuated with me and fall me hook line and sinker..ok..this is an enormous ego boost..but then I cannot get rid of them..they will never consider a gay relationship…but as they say…its only with me…there is something in me….I call it my woman cat-nip..but i wish I knew what the hell it really is..I dont flirt…I dont make moves..it just..happens……..

Well I HV never looked at girls but I’m dating a woman she is butch and I luv it but I’ve never been so respected and loved and treated like a queen before…She knows I’m straight and I’m scared as hell but were taking it very slow even though were together all the time…but I really see us together long term and I see us possibly married. Never thought I would say that but there is ALWAYS AN EXCEPTION

Sounds pretty fair to me. Why does the Sponge Bob song come to mind, “Don’t Be A Jerk”? Good advice for anyone with a pulse, but especially in the situations you are descrbing…Maybe you’ll have to be the more direct one, to save your own heart.

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