Driven? It’s the Back Seat then

The thing I’ll miss the most when I buy my Mercedes is being chauffeured. Of course am sounding fancy here, but the type of chauffeur am really referring to is the taxi driver. And his sharply chesty accountant, the conductor. I detest taxis just as much as the person seated next to me (writing this in a taxi).

They are so cramped there is barely any leg room. The only passengers that seem to be seated comfortably are the bedbugs and the cockroaches we eventually pick up and carry to our houses.

…type of chauffeur am really referring to is the taxi driver.

My ex-girlfriend and I one time had to literally strip at doorway to the house because we suspected, we’d adopted some bedbugs from the taxi we rode home. It was a frustrating experience. For the next couple of days, I was excessively paranoid whenever I felt something crawl up my body.

Of course my lady wouldn’t have to go through this if we had had the proper kind of chauffeuring. Which brings me to the point of this article; which seat is the appropriate seat when you have a driver? A driver you pay and specifically hire to drive you around town, not your mum when she gives you a lift.

… they hire a driver but always seat in the front with them.

Front seat? Probably, but not really.

If you showed up at the Kampala Serena Hotel for a meeting in the front seat of a Jaguar XJ while being chauffeured, no matter how smartly dressed you’d be, the impression would be; a rich friend gave you a ride to your meeting. Even if the driver packed somewhere and folded his seat to take a nap like the always do, someone would find it unbelievable that he isn’t your idle much more successful friend.

Jaguar XJ

Of course we all know someone that has made it so high up in management, they hire a driver but always seat in the front with them.

I’ve seen Fabian Kasi the MD of Centenary Bank do this. The type of rich person that does this sort of ‘modest’ act is one that is used to the success. They have either been successful long enough and they don’t care about appearance anymore, or they simply like the front seat.

Back seat? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If am being chauffeured, the back seat is where you’ll find me. Even when I take an Uber to a location I know the Uber man will easily find, it’s the back seat. Or if I have company, a lady, it’s the back seat. Strictly sitting with a lady in the back seat. And not what we all should be thinking.

The thing about the back seat, apart from the obvious; it makes you feel and look important.

The thing about the back seat, apart from the obvious; it makes you feel and look important. It elevates you to exactly fit your chain on the success ladder or to appear like you are somewhere in your discontented life and job. The back, by and large is also a much safer spot to seat. It is then, the least distracting when you are texting or brushing up on that PowerPoint for the meeting you are being chauffeured to.

It is worth mentioning however, we that fancy the feeling that comes with being seen in the back seat, are often sacredly proud and have our ambitions set higher than Margherita.

But isn’t that what being in the back seat with a driver alone in the front is all about? Basking, in whatever earned or false impression that you exude by the attitude and side eye you give pedestrians when you are stuck in Ntinda traffic jam?

Ian Paul Byamugisha is a writer/author/novelist and car journalist. As a writer for Newslibre, he writes car reviews, cars news, tech news and anything that one might find interesting to read. Currently working on a spy novel collection titled “Arthur Vintage.”