Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Criminal grossness may be an understatement

"I don't know where I am"

Say hello to Marisol. She's a shoplifter.

"Big deal" you say, shoplifting is nothing special, who gives a shit?

Well kids, Marisol is something special. I shit you not. Very special. You know how some survival experts say to play dead if confronted by a bear? Well, Marisol has a very special defense against department store security guards.

When the guard confronted her about the items that she allegedly shoplifted, her fight or flight response kicked in.

Marisol shit her pants.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

After shitting said pants, Marisol reached deep down into the back of her pants, grabbed a handful of brown matter and smeared it on the guards face.

HOLY SHIT! SHE SMEARED POOP ON HIS FACE!!!

I would have completely lost my shit!

I'd like to publicly thank Tex for sending me this shit. All you freaks go out and buy some Gerbing Heated Gear to keep your shit warm. If you don't like it, Tex will run a vintage motorcycle race of your choice race in a sundress. I suggest Vintage Days at Mid-Ohio for the best exposure.... and shit.