Father’s Day thoughts to ponder

It seems only fair that Dad should get equal time now, since Mom had her moment last month. So here’s some Father’s Day thoughts to ponder, starting with this poem called, A Salute to Dad, by Jo Ann Heidbreder:

To Dad — Mender of toys, leader of boys,

Changer of fuses, kisser of bruises,

Mover of couches, soother of ouches,

Pounder of nails and teller of tales.

To Dad — Hanger of screens, counsellor of teens,

Fixer of bikes, chastiser of tykes,

Raker of leaves, cleaner of eaves,

Dryer of dishes and fullfiller of wishes!

Dad as seen through the years:

• At the age of four, you’d say, “My Dad can do anything!”

• At 7, “My Dad knows a lot, a whole lot.”

• By the age of 8, you might be saying, “Dad doesn’t know everything.”

• At 12, “It seems like Dad just doesn’t understand.”

• And by the age of 14, “Dad? Like, from nowhere.”

• At 21, “Well, he’s out of date, but what would you expect, right?”

• Then by the age of 25, you might observe, “Dad has got a couple of good ideas there.”

• At 30, “I better find out what Dad thinks about this plan.”

• At 35, “Now, what would Dad have thought about this problem?”

• And at 60, you might say, “Gee, I wish I could talk this over with Dad one more time.”

Youngsters were asked about Dad and had these comments:

• “A Dad is like your next best friend.”

• “Dad is a guy who coaches your hockey team — only he’s not the coach.”

• “Fathers are parents, but are male.”

• “Dad knows when you’re too old to be kissed.”

• “A father is a guy who can’t fix your bike properly, but he’s sure he can if he can just find the right wrench”

• “Dad isn’t the boss of the house, because Mom is. But she lets him stay up later than us so he can watch the news on TV.”

• “Dad is fun to play baseball with, but he has to rest a lot.”

• “Dads are like little boys, only bigger.”

• “Some fathers are policemen, firemen or pilots. Others are just plain Dads and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

• “Sometimes Dad takes us on a car ride. That’s when we get to see all the idiots. That’s the people driving the other cars.”

• “Dad says he knows how to fix his chainsaw, but I never see it working.”

• “Sometimes Dad gets sick and then you have to be really quiet because Mom says he's suffering from something called ‘life of the party.’”

• “Dad says he’ll teach me how to play golf, but I don’t want to score 10 like he does.”

• “Dad always asks Mom if she thinks he’s made of money.”

• “Fathers seem to have a thing about turning off lights; like the thing Mothers have about closing closet doors.”

• “You know, sometimes you have to try really hard to understand Dad, but I think it’s worth it.”

Dad’s version:

• “It's amazing, isn’t it, that your daughters think your clothes are: ‘Like, really from, like’ Nerdsville’ and yet in the next breath they ask to borrow your big sweaters. How ‘nerdy’ can these clothes be if they want to wear them.”

• “Kids discover movies, records and TV shows which are really very old, but they think they’ve just been invented because they just stumbled onto them. Did we do that as kids? I guess we did.”

• “They love HD TV. Me, too. But I can remember when there was no TV, so I’m quite satisfied with regular TV on a huge screen. Remember how small TVs were in the ‘olden days?’”

• “It makes you feel old when a music video in ‘black-and-white’ is considered ‘ground-breaking technique,’ and you can remember when everything was in black-and-white.”

• “What a different attitude they have toward you when they reach 16, get their driver’s licence and want to borrow the car.”

• “Do they think that someone will give them allowance for the rest of their lives? Do they think I’m going to?”

• “Why does homework suddenly becomes so important when there’s lawn-cutting to be done, but the rest of the time homework is way down the list of priorities?”

• “Do you suppose I will ever understand music videos? And, if so, will that be a bad sign?”