Monday, October 29, 2012

what's inside my brain

i was looking at him, all perched on that post, pretending that his body is small enough for his whole self to fit. squirrels are just clogging up my life, with their bullshit antics. i'm tired of it.

1. MOTHERHOOD.COM: I AM NOT PREGNANT 100% OF THE TIME. whyyyyy do they still send me deals on maternity clothes?!

2. Seattleites: nothing in life is more stressful than heading to the freeway and being stopped at a light going uphill on James St. AM I RIGHT?! when it turns green you're all "OHMYGODDDDDD PLEASE CAR GO FROM BRAKE TO DRIVE SMOOTHLY SO I DON'T ROLL BACKWARDS AND HIT THE CAR BEHIND MEEEEEEEEEE" and then you end up peeling out because you went from brake to drive too fast. i cannot even imagine the angst that comes with having to drive a stick up this hill. i get sweaty and nervous and i just can't deal.

3. i watched Arthur last week. and i literally can't get through my favorite scene without laughing my ass off, rewinding it and watching it again.

7. i want a pearly pink Mary Kay car without actually having to do all the hard work selling that much makeup. is that so much to ask? probably.

8. you guys. i am the worst. i was giving Cleo a haircut and i sliced her ear with the scissors. i feel like a real jerk. after googling, i learned that i need to place a comb between her skin and the matted areas that need to be cut, so that i don't do this again. wahhhhh i'm sorry Cleobabyyyyy!

9. JJ lost my keys this weekend. i said, "did you check all the pockets of the coat and pants you were wearing when you drove my car??" he said "OBVIOUSLY L, GHODDDD." we searched literally everywhere. even the garbage. twice. which was so disgusting. Gemma's poopy diapers mixed with coffee grounds and a rotten banana are not the makings of a pleasant potpourri. after searching for 3 hours (taking breaks to eat candy corn obvs), JJ walked up to me holding my keys. "i found them in the jacket pocket i was wearing when i drove your car." aksdjfklajsdfkladjs

2 comments:

Hahahahaha. I always get mad at McKay because when he drives my car he brings the keys clear upstairs instead of just leaving them on the seat and I never realize it until I get in the car. Love the pic of you!...and the squirrel. ha!