“We have proof that last week, now 10 days ago, that chemical weapons were used, at least with chlorine, and that they were used by the regime of (President) Bashar al-Assad. (…) Our teams have been working on this all week and we will need to take decisions in due course, when we judge it most useful and effective.”

Jonhy P. delivering once again. Especially if you haven’t heard enough “fucks” and “cunts” yet this week, do yourself a favour. Of course, it’s about Count Dankula’s sentencing for the video below, in which he taught his girl’s pug to do Nazi salutes while saying “gas the Jews”. The judge deemed “context to be irrelevant” and found him guilty of “inciting racial hatred”.

“The players of identity politics on the far right continue ever-so-pathologically to beat the anti-Semitic drum, pointing to the over-representation of Jews in positions of authority, competence and influence (including revolutionary movements). I’m called upon–sometimes publicly, sometimes on social media platforms–to comment on such matters, and criticized when I hesitate to do so (although God only knows why I would hesitate :))”

Well, we don’t know man, we just work here. But if the speculations are even trending on 9Gag, you better get your PR in order. Some are rushing to his defence, inserting that it’s an innocent toothpick (below), while others are counterclaiming that it looks like a toothpick because the bag is now folded between his fingers. Anyhow, the freshly appointed Slovak Prime Minister Peter “The Snowman” Pellegrini has some explaining to do.

It’s worth pointing out here that Cathy is not making this stuff up. Being the investigative TOC journalists that we are, some Twitter searches on “Cathy Newman cunt”, “Cathy Newman bitch” definitely do result in near-endless hits.

A search on “Cathy Newman execute”, however, only resulted in a tweet saying “Cathy Newman would have voted to execute Socrates”, which, well, you know, is probably true.