What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!

Dude, I have a Little League game to pitch later this afternoon and I am SO WASTED. Ha. Tossing back a few cold ones next to a costumed freak; welcome to just about every day of Macaulay Culkin's childhood. Intrepid reader Matt Theil of KQCH/KEZO radio in Omaha snapped this photo during an Omaha Royals Thirsty Thursday promotion last season, and upon discovering Minor Enterprise recently, dug through his files and sent it to us. He included this report:

I took this picture last year at Rosenblatt. I didn't notice the kid with the Miller Lite bottle until I got home to upload the picture. I was pretty faced myself at Thirsty Thursday (also the same game where Donovan Osbourne signed my '92 Cardinals Anniversary ball to complete my day), and I was probably just taking a picture of the dumbass mascot, Casey. Enjoy!

When I was a kid, catching a foul ball was all that my friends and I aspired to at a game; it never occurred to us that getting hammered with the team mascot might be fun. (Casey's furry hide comes equipped with a hidden bottle opener, we're told). What the hell; it's not like these kids are going to be driving home, right? OK, if we're guessing, we'd say that the Omaha Royals do not condone serving alcohol to minors. We salute them anyway ... and also for being the only team to have their stadium organist ejected from a game.

Some other upcoming promotions:

• Juan Marichal Appearance. Sunday, May 20, Fresno Grizzlies (Triple-A Pacific Coast League). If you've got a copy of that famous photo of Juan Marichal swinging a bat at Johnny Roseboro's head, now's the time to bring it down to Chukchansi Park to get it autographed by the Dominican Dandy himself! The Hall of Famer and Giants pitching legend will appear courtesy of Bar-S Foods. Mmmm, high leg kick.

• Salute To Indoor Plumbing. Monday, May 21, West Virginia Power (Single-A South Atlantic League). If you can't make it out to this must-see event, don't fret, the Power have other treats in store. On Thursday, May 24, it's the World's Largest Tighty Whitey Race and the World's Fattest Man Contest, which we just pray to God are not won by the same person. Then on May 26 it's Game Show Night featuring a Bob Barker Tribute. But we've got June 21 circled on our calendars, when the Power will present Insignificant Events Night.

• Urban Meyer Appearance. Thursday, May 24, Clearwater Threshers (Single-A Florida State League). Yes, the head coach of the National Champion Florida Gators will join Threshers fans at Bright House Network Field at 6 p.m., and be advised: "This is the only appearance by Coach Meyer in the 5 County area!" Autographs will be available (determined by raffle). Please do not jostle coach Meyer, or ask questions about Miami. He will not sign body parts.

• Bassackwards Night. To Be Determined, Ogden Raptors (Rookie Pioneer League). Things are really getting weird in Utah. From the Raptors' latest press release: "I am often asked what one new thing will we be putting on this season. One new item will be "Bassackwards Night". The players will be wearing shirts with the Raptors name and numbers displayed backwards. All fans will be admitted free but will have to pay to get out. In other words, if you leave in the 1st inning, you will pay $9.00. It will decrease a buck an inning. If we go extra innings, I will give every fan a $1.00 Raptor Buck for each extra inning. Also, the game will start in the 9th inning and work backwards. It should be quite fun!" [Travis Clemens]

• Bobblehead Of The Moment. This week I welcome Mr. Celery into my pantheon of bobbleheads, thanks to the Wilmington Blue Rocks of the Single-A Carolina League. The Blue Rocks held a very successful Mr. Celery Giveaway Night last week, and I received mine in the mail yesterday. Thanks! I am the luckiest boy in the world. The bobbing vegetable mascot statue occupies the top shelf of my collection now, along with the venerable James D. Watson bobblehead. In fact, if any teams are looking for ideas for a promotional giveaway, you really can't go wrong with the likeness of the Nobel Prize-winning molecular biologist who was one of the discoverers of the structure of the DNA molecule. You really can't.

• Mascot Of The Week. Snappy the Turtle, Beloit Snappers (Single-A Midwest League). The Snappers have a promotion in which Snappy wanders around town, and those who spot him are awarded two free Snappers tickets. One catch, though: The person must yell "Snappertastic!" in order to win the prize. But be careful; Snappy doesn't really look all that much like a turtle, so you wouldn't want to make a mistake and yell "Snappertastic!" at some random person at the mall. Oh, that would be unfortunate.

We want your minor league tips! Send photos, info on upcoming promotions and all recyclable bottles to RickChand@gmail.com. And thanks!