A youth sports blog written by Bob Cook. He's contributed to NBCSports.com, or MSNBC.com, if you prefer. He’s delivered sports commentaries for All Things Considered. For three years he wrote the weekly “Kick Out the Sports!” column for Flak Magazine.
Most importantly for this blog, Bob is a father of four who is in the throes of being a sports parent, a youth coach and a youth sports economy stimulator in an inner-ring suburb of Chicago. He reserves the right to change names to protect the innocent and the extremely, extremely guilty.
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Why, In A Time of Concussion Hyper-Awareness, I Let My Son Play Football

In May, when a former, oft-concussed Super Bowl champion quarterback mused that maybe it wasn’t the best idea for his kids to follow in his footsteps because of the risk of head injuries, I wrote a piece called, “If Kurt Warner’s Not So Sure His Kids Should Be Playing Football, Should Your Kids Be Playing?” In the article, I noted I had successfully used the concussion issue to talk my teenage son, whose only organized football was a touch league in fourth grade, out of joining his high school’s football team for his sophomore year in 2012.

Well, about that…

Today, Aug. 8, the first day of fall sports practice at his high school, I dropped off my 15-year-old son so he could join the football team.

I can’t say my wife and I are thrilled that he’s doing this, but we’re not stopping him, either. It’s one of those many make-or-break (perhaps literally, with football) parenting moments in which you weigh your desires against your child’s, and it’s one of those moments in which you’re never 100 percent sure whether you’ve made the right decision. (Though you can feel free to comment below to tell me whether we did.)

In his freshman year, my son’s role on the football field was playing bass drum in the marching band, and watching the game when he wasn’t. That seemed to plant a seed for his football interest. As I’ve mentioned, he played touch football in fourth grade, but hadn’t shown much interest in the game otherwise. (Though, unbeknownst to me at the time, his early childhood years were spent, like his old man, playing no-pads tackle football with his friends.) After marching band was over, he noted that he would be allowed to do both football and band, just like the team’s star running back, also a drummer.

Through the rest of his freshman year, my son played chess, continued with the band, and participated in his school’s JROTC unit. His only sport was track and field, where he ran the 300-meter hurdles. I hoped to use his interest in track and, especially, in JROTC — which has physical training competitions — to persuade him to run cross country in the fall, like his old man did in high school. He seemed to be a little interested as his listened to my pitch while pretending to be the Army Black Knights in EA Sports’ NCAA Football 12 for the XBox.

Last week, while driving my son to one of his summer JROTC workouts, I decided to ask him again about fall sports, given practices were starting soon. “So, have you given up on football?” I helpfully pushed.

My son sunk in his seat as if he was about to confess to an illicit love affair. “No,” he said, ashamedly.

And then it all came out. My son had been studying up on football for months. He had, thanks to his video game experience and YouTube watching, learned rules and plays. He had researched injuries and injury prevention, not only studying concussions, but also looking into the tragic story of Rocky Clark, a player from another high school in his district who was left a quadriplegic after being hit in a 2000 game. (Clark died in 2011 at the age of 27.) And, my son said he enjoys playing football, whether it’s with his cousins in the backyard, or a version of the game called “commanderball” that he played with his JROTC unit. (Commanderball is sort of like Ultimate Frisbee with a football.)

I asked my son if he felt this strongly about football, why he didn’t say something earlier. He said it was because, given the signals his mother and I were sending, he wasn’t sure we would say yes to him playing.

Now, at that moment, given all the injury worries I have and all I know, thanks to writing this blog, about concussions, I could have exerted my parental authority and just said no. I have done that before with sports. When my son said he was “kinda interested” in hockey after going to a few camps, I said no because for the massive expense of hockey, I wasn’t going to pay for “kinda interested.” However, my wife and I have made clear with all four of our children (ages six to 15, two boys, two girls) that if there is an activity they are passionate about, we will find a way to make the time, and money, so they can do it.

I talked to my wife, and despite our reservations, we agreed that someone who has spent months conducting deep research about everything football-related in order to build a case he was afraid to make qualified as “passionate.” Also, we’ve learned over time that our kids aren’t necessarily going to be passionate about things we inherently understand. As an example, we weren’t initially thrilled about the idea of my son being so passionate about the military. But he’s thrived in it, really finding his personality. We could say no to football, but in the end, would that really be the best thing?

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Comments

I think you made a good choice in letting your son pursue his interests. Trust me I know what it’s like to be worried about your child’s health. I struggled with the decision to let me son play football but am glad that I let him do it. Yes he’s had some minor injuries but he loves every minute.

I feel your pain. It’s a tough call. I know many people who won’t let their kids play football but let them play lacrosse and soccer, which also carry a risk of injury, including concussion. One of my sons tried football in 3rd grade, got the wind knocked out of him for the first time ever at his first practice, and suddenly lost enthusiasm for the game. My husband, who played in high school and loves football, was disappointed. I was relieved.

When your son starts to drive will you urge him to text? We live in a world of risk. Bad things happen. But for those who choose to ignore medical science, the probability of something bad happening goes up. I certainly would have allowed my son to play when he was in high school. With what we know now? Not a chance. Research at Purdue shows even when the player suffers no concussion he performs more poorly on basic mental tests as the season progresses.

What’s your opinion of college presidents who support a sport that causes brain damage? If you were a college president, what would you do?

i must admire your decison, it is really good if you let your child play football. i know there is a little bit chance of injury there but this is the age in which all child learn more skills about their interest. and this not only improve his football skills but also his mental and physical skills will be polished with this . if it is not possible for you to send your child far away from home to play , then there are many other ways to find teams or clubs near your location , like you can go online and check local teams , there are many good sites such as http://www.icorner.com/ etc, which help you to find local football teams near your location, and you don’t need to worry about your child..

All my children play sports and one of my son’s plays football. We as parents understand that there are risks to playing sports, but aren’t there risks to anything you do? We take them to a chiropractor who wrote a blog post about youth sports injury statistics. You should all check it out. http://www.northeastspineandsports.com/blog/2014/06/sports-injury-statistics-youth/