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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Assuming "terror" is another word for cake, of course.

Which, at least with these cakes, I'm pretty sure it is.

Sure, this may look like a fuzzy potato wearing a Skeletor mask and a literal banana hammock, but I think it's supposed to be a monkey. (Yes, a monkey.) Which kinda makes Shara's Curious George Wreck look positively cuddly by comparison, huh?

Still, it could've been worse. That banana hammock could have been made with these:

Peeling Lucky, punk?

Well, I wouldn't advise it; Lucky here has one nasty split personality.(She gets it from hanging out with a bunch of sour grapes.)

Hey bakers, do you have too many customers? Is the constant stream of business interfering with your "me time"? Tired of making all those cakes? No problem!! Now you can scare those paying customers off with THE FACE OF PURE EVIL™!

What's with the green butterfly wings and poo branches on Mr. Well-endowed Potato? The feminine banana I just don't get. (Cross-dresser's birthday cake?)

The last one looks like it came from the meat department. Until I saw the pretty fondant cake to the left. ew. Why would you want to order a pig face? or maybe this is a really small store and there's a little cross-contamination going on in that case....

I actually kind of like the last cake. Maybe you would serve it at a RenFaire or other medieval-themed dinner? My first thought was the "Boar's Head Carol": "The boar's head in hand bear I,"Bedecked with sage and rosemary..."

The last cake is creepy... imagine you see a yummy roasted pig, take a slice of if and it tastes like... wait a minute...CAKE?? What's next, meat pie with sprinkles and buttercream on the outside? :D :D

When I was in a Renaissance music ensemble, we were hired every year to play at a Boar's Head feast. Every year, they brought out the boar's head on a platter and sang a song about the boar's head. Judging by the looks of it, they used the same boar's head every year.

Perhaps I should recommend Baker #3 to them since the ol' boar's head was getting a bit shabby after years of use. At least they could eat it after the feast...

Heh. On the "monkey" cake, I thought the yellow things were feet, not banana bunches, until I read your commentary! (Take a look at the middle one and especially the one in the upper left - looks like it has some gnarly toes and a really big toe nail!) Makes it seem quite surreal. :-)

I'd love to know what the baker was thinking when he/she decided to make a boar's head cake!

A turd in a skeletor mask, a banana with the face of a western movie 'gal' and some strange head. It looks like the red villain (name lost) form the Powerpuff Girls. It might be the cakes form hell, but at least we can make fun of them.

At least the banana cake is pretty carefully done. It took me a while to realize that the tomb-like monkey had his little arms in front of him to hold a bunch of bananas. I thought he was wearing a yellow foot for a necklace.

The third cake reminds me of the pig heads I used to see around the holidays, when we'd get a full roasted pig, complete with a head. The only thing missing is the apple in its mouth. So...it kind of made me feel nostalgic. I have to admit, it *does* look pretty realistic.

Granted, a boar's head cake is kind of creepy out of context, but if there was a good context for it, I wouldn't consider it a wreck. Like maybe some pub called Boar's Head ordered it. Then it'd be kind of cool.

I've made some pretty gory cakes that were highly appreciated in their proper contexts (usually RPG sessions).

Now, if it was something where the decorator went with their own random gory design and the situation didn't call for it, then it'd be a wreck.

A cake boar's head would certainly be preferable to the real thing. Every year, at a college where I worked, there was a medeival dinner complete with a frozen boar's head. They got a new one every year, which meant that the old one ended up in all kinds of places - including, one year, FACE UP ON THE TOILET SEAT IN MY APARTMENT. I don't think I've ever screamed that loud. It weighed over 30 lbs and was gigantic. I wish it had been cake, instead of thawing nasty pork.

I'm just guessing here, but that pigs head might actually be really good! In World of Warcraft (10 million players, online game) there is a giant feast that looks a lot like that! It made me think of it right away so, if that's what they were going for, they did a great job!

cake #3 Wow! Lord of the Flies cake! I wonder what flavor? Liked the book, the cake, well, I'm not sure, it might be growing on me. The supermarket in the town I grew up in had massive pig's heads for sale every harvest suspended in the freezer section, it could be pretty startling, walk around the corner & bang! Rows of huge pigs heads hung & "looking" back at you. Like the poster above, I could see it at a RenFaire, or for your kids birthday if you find them really, really disturbing. As long as it doesn't taste like head cheese, bleh!

I have to say, though, if I were a literature teacher who worked for a school that allowed for twisted humor (instead of the usual "Oh God, oh God this kid drew stick figures kicking each other call the therapists!!!"), that hog head cake would be perfect for our end-of-the-semester Lord of the Flies theme party.

i thought the first one might be one of the singing 'california raisins'; the second one a seductive moon/banana hybrid, and i can only guess that the boar's head is for a luau, or maybe for the 'boars head' meat company's annual employee party.-helenwv: persness- 'will the persness who made these cakes please consider early retirement?'

Could the boars head cake actually be an Arkansas Razorback? The way it is laid out on a platter, though, I think this might be the cake the opposing team would order for tailgating, not one the Hog fan would order.

Our Episcopal Church has a Boars Head Celebration every year. It is a big formal occasion with the symphony and opera singers. There are amazing costumes, and the whole thing is an analogy of the triumph of good over evil (ie, Christ being born into the world). I was recently on vacation and had the opportunity to see a wild boar in the wild, and I can assure you it would make one happy to see its head on a platter! Those things are big, brave, and frightening! But I digress, we use a paper mache boars head but a cake like this would be amazing.

Thank you so much for raising money for TWLOHA for Christmas! It is so appreciated and we're putting it toward our IM Alive project, an live online crisis center (more info here: http://www.twloha.com/move/imalive/). We're partnering with the Kristin Brooks Hope Center to get this started.

Right now we are currently in the running to win $1 million from Chase Community Giving to help fund this project, we just need our supporters to vote for us. It's really easy to vote and it takes about 3 seconds...Any help you can provide would be amazing! Tell all of your friends! To vote, go here: http://bit.ly/7si7Be.

Thank you so much! We love your blog (definitely adds some light to our heavy days!)

Okay, I have a really good imagination but there is no way, no how, that I look at the first cake and see anything having to do with monkeys. Wow. At least it will probably taste good--if it's cake, I'll eat it! =)

LOL that banana is sassy.

The pig's head reminds me of a prop (pig's head from a butcher shop) that we used in a haunted house one year. Bleah!

Thanks to the caption at the bottom of the Sugary Pig's Head of Horror, I not keep getting a visual of the thing sitting in the window of the bakery yelling random apocalyptic, bakery-themed stuff at people XD

That first cake looks like some sort of Death Mask-wearing tree-stump entity. Even for a Death Mask it looks grim. I'm pretty sure I'm going to wake up one night and find that thing watching me through a window.

My daughter works for the National Pork Producers and as part of her job, she sends out recipes for things like a whole hog roast, or a Holiday Boar's head (or Head Cheese). I'm sure Cake #3 is not quite what she is looking for.

WV dewari. After looking at the cakes today, we need to have a little more Dewari on the rocks.

Hey, what about the geeks' worst fears? That pig cake is CLEARLY Ganon, probably from Zelda 2 where the reason you didn't want Link to die was because the monsters would sprinkle his blood on the ashes of Ganon to revive him. (shudder!)

What is wrong with me? I kind of love that last one. As in it's pretty to me. And looks delicious.

(And, Anony at 12:12, I can remember more words than that, if not spell them: "Caput apri defero, reddens laudes Domino." Our version then switched to English: "The boar's head in hand bear I, bedecked with bays and rosemary. And I pray thee, Master, merry be, qui estes in convivio."

Hey Jen,Love the site.For some reason, the last couple of posts aren't showing up on Google Reader. I have to physically click the link to come to your site -- which I don't mind terribly, but would like to have remedied if it is possible.Did you get a new Web format that Google doesn't recognize? (Or something else that sounds tech-smart but which I really have no clue about.)Yours,Amie

"Medium" just came on the tv, which I am not paying attention to, and it's not exactly a comedy. My husband just walked in, to see me chuckling quietly, my body shaking a little. Then I burst into laughter and tears. He said "are you looking at cakes again?" Ha! Yes, yes I was. He knows, this site is my happy place. Thank you :)

My guess is that the boar's head is to celebrate the New Year. It's a central European tradition (I know it from Austria) to eat pig's head for luck on New Year's Day. Thanks anyway... I'll have the cake instead!

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