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Winebits 514: Millennials and wine, investment wine, beer breasts

This week’s wine news: Millennials are not the wine business’ savior, plus some silly bits about investing in wine and breasts as a side effect of beer

• No thanks: Tim Carl writes in the wine business’ hometown newspaper that Millennials, the 20-somethings who are supposed to save the wine business, won’t: “[N]o business should expect them to be frivolous or willing to pay excessively high prices for anything they buy.” Which, of course, is the opposite of what almost every wine seer, expert, and prognosticator has been telling us since Millennials became a demographic. But Carl explains why that isn’t the case, and adds that he is tired of “many in the same generation that caused the unprecedented mess for the younger generation chastising them for their delayed ‘adulting.’ ” Couldn’t have said it better myself. Which I have, and it’s good to see someone else reject the blather we’ve been reading for so long.

• But what if I want to drink it? The Wine Enthusiast has published its list of the top 100 investment wines of 2017, and you’ll be glad to know that half the wines costs less than $100. In fact, notes the magazine, “In recent years, wine has shown to be a more stable investment than classic cars, rare art and jewelry, and has outpaced the competition in price growth.” Which makes the Wine Curmudgeon wonder why anyone would pay hundreds of dollars for a wine but not want to drink it. Still, it happens. A very good friend reports that he knew someone who had an “investment-grade” collection, but would never let anyone drink any of the wines. And, said my friend, the guy said he had no intention of drinking them – those wines were there for showing off.

• Man breasts: This is the kind of story that defines the New York Post. It warns beer drinkers that the “hops used in your favorite drink could be giving you man boobs. That’s because hops contain a high amount of phytoestrogen — a plant-derived chemical that is similar to the female sex hormone estrogen.” Who knew? I always thought it was all the empty calories, plus sitting on the sofa while drinking multiple six-packs, watching TV, and gorging on chips and pizza.