Monday, March 28, 2011

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I resist change with a passion, and today's change was no exception. I have to admit that when the specific change is my idea I think it's great but when someone else suggests it, that's another matter all together.

This was my husband's idea... and he has a really good track record for having awesome ideas.

But good track record or not I was willing to bet that this new scheme wouldn't work. See, this time I knew what I was talking about. I was raised with a sponge mop and they work miracles! Even a wimp like me can wield it fast enough to mop the entire kitchen before the kids realize what's happening and run in to see if they can slip and slide before mom chases them out with her amazing speedy cleaning machine (or someone falls and gets a huge goose egg, whichever comes first). I'm not interested in change. I'm happy the way I am.

So anyways, he came home with the Thing about two months ago and I haven't touched it. Until today. Company was coming (about 20 people) and he really wanted the floor to be clean so he showed me why his mop works better than my old Speedy Sponge and then he left me alone with the String Thing and my thoughts as I tried it out:

For a few months in the middle of the wet, gray, rainy part of winter, I had two nursing infants and two toddlers- three out of four in diapers. It was physically, as well as emotionally, intense. I can remember around this time taking the garbage out and just standing outside the door taking some deep breaths, getting ready to go back in. (When taking the garbage out becomes a "destination," you know you are really in the trenches!) It was somewhere around this time that I realized I had better strike the word overwhelmed from my vocabulary. God gave me this to do. I may not be overwhelmed about it. I can try as hard as I can, and maybe fail sometimes. I can try as hard as I can and fall asleep at the dinner table. I can try as hard as I can and be completely burned out at the end of the day. But I may not be overwhelmed. Actually, I may very well be overwhelmed, but I may not say that I am overwhelmed! The words have a very real power over us. If you say it, you allow it for yourself. You give yourself that little bit of room to say "But I can't!" When God gives us children, it is work that He is giving. Work that comes with huge attendant blessings and bonuses, but work nonetheless.

So imagine yourself delegating a task to someone (your children come to mind!). Imagine you are asking them to clean up a room. You can see the work that you are giving them. You know that they need to pick up the dress-ups, the plastic food, and the books. You also know that what you are asking is well within their abilities. Now imagine one child looks at it, takes a deep breath, and dives in. But the other picks up one piece of food and then lies down to cry a bit about all the rest of them. You know as a parent that lying down and whimpering about the tasks does not get it done. It makes it harder, slower, and more difficult in every way. The child who is really working faithfully will see progress, will see that the task is do-able. The child who is feeling sorry for himself will never get past that emotional low without some intervention.

Do you see yourself in this? When you get up in the morning and the house is a mess, and the kids are being a little edgy, and you didn't get to the grocery store, do you like to drape yourself across the work that God gave you and whimper? Or do you just dive in? Do you like to dwell on the discouragement? ...But God loves a cheerful worker. I am still frequently in over my head. Actually, most of the time! But deciding to not wallow in that fact has removed one of the biggest obstacles to my work- my own calculations of how hard the job is.

I am sure that I still say "overwhelmed" from time to time but it is no longer that little crutch for droopiness that it once was to me. In that same early and intense phase with the twins, I developed the 20 minute rule. If things started seeming really out of control, I would look at the clock and note the time. Then I would tell myself that in twenty minutes this would be over. If I just kept my head down and did the work, twenty minutes was all I needed. And actually, it was true. Twenty minutes is enough time (if you are moving quickly and not moping) to change three diapers and one complete outfit, discipline one disobeyer, tuck two people into naps, and sit down to nurse the other two. The storm would have passed in twenty minutes if I was cheerfully getting things done. But that moment when you first discovered the blowout (and all the rest)... well, that moment. What was it? A moment. It passes. But when it passes, you will be very glad if all you did was work right through it. The super intensity will almost always be over in twenty minutes!

Now another day is breaking,
Sleep was sweet and so is waking.
Dear Lord, I promised you last night
Never again to sulk or fight.
Such vows are easier to keep
When a child is sound asleep.
Today, O Lord, for your dear sake,
I'll try to keep them when awake.

Friday, March 18, 2011

I can't go on living this way! My blog desperately needs an update but I can't decide what to do. The orange owl was my personal touch and I felt a little twinge of regret when I took him down.

I even thought about using him to make something new. If he was on paper I would tuck him away under my bed for old times sake (along with all the other meaningful things I can't find under there).
But I digress. Thinking up something cool and artistic that defines this blog is so perplexing that I didn't sleep a wink last night... or maybe that was the cup of coffee I drank too late in the evening. Hmm...

Anyway, it feels so wrong to post photos while the site is under construction but I can't resist. I filled up a cf card today in my attempt to capture the perfect shot for the header and I ended up with...

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Yesterday was such a good day... everybody was (mostly) cheerful, we worked, we learned we played...

I even got to work out!

My little guy discovered the "ball" in the sky

(he didn't believe me when I told him it's called the Moon)

My big boy discovered a new hiding place...

I felt like a really good mom. So happy and thankful for everything in my life.

But that was yesterday.

Today is cold and rainy.

I'm sore from that awesome work out.

The pile of dishes and laundry makes me feel guilty.

My kids didn't take good naps and they are really, really grumpy.

I taught them Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining or arguing"

(between you and me, I don't think my 1 yr. old was paying attention ;)

I keep reminding them to be cheerful and thankful... but what about my own heart?

Makes my think of a Chris Rice song I listened to when I was a kid...

"Oh, why do the good days end?
Makes me wonder now
With the way I feel
If yesterday was even real
And why, oh why do You seem so far away
Could it be that I’ve gone too far this time
And can I make You change Your mind, oh...
Why should any day,
Be like today?

Do I wallow in my insecurities?
Do I trust what my feelings are tellin’ me?
Or do I rest in the promise You made me
That You’ll never leave?
Oh, today my heart believes
That the truth remains
You never change
Your love for me is still the same, oh...
Why can’t every day,