I feel like I'm being targetted

You may want to look for help. I did and it feels better to have professionals to assist me in making my life better.

I have a very charged life, tried to kill myself when I was a young teenager.

Weird stuff happened in my life too and I understand 100% what you say about when you try to get your life straight and life bites you back.

I told all the weird stuff to my psychiatrist (yes, I have one) and first everybody taught I was downright psychotic, then they checked my story and
they help me deal with the situation. (I live in Canada, and I can tell you public healthcare is great)

But the most important is to talk about your situation with people you Really Trust, and ask to the life all the good things before you go to sleep,
it proved handy for me.

Perhaps you don't back down because you feel there's a purpose to living on and that there's hope? Compared to me, I've had none. I've had much
trouble seeing purpose. Furthermore my mind has been very unclear from lack of sleep and whatever else like maybe lack of peace and nature in my life.
It's hard to get things done like that.

I dont understand. I came here thinking that people understood that many of these societal structures don't really work. I have found myslf to be
very nihilistic (and I'm trying not to be), and lacking faith in this society. This makes it much harder for me.

Psychiatrists? I thought the majority of you agreed that the psychiatric drugs mess people up in the long run.

One cannot also deny reality.. those who put on the view of extreme positivity to the point to the point of being extremely militant and hold a harsh
view of reality cannot deal with problems without denying them, and are possibly delusional. Just because I am not extremely positive doesn't mean
I'm also the coward of cowards, neither am I evil, or lack morality, stupid etc. SpartanKing... I understand you may be trying to help but I think I
noticed a hint of belittlement from your post at me because I was not as cold as you are. Or maybe it's just me. Im just sayin this is what I
noticed.

I know I have my own issues to deal with, I'm not denying them. I'm willing to try new things... but there are certain things I believe simply
don't work, by experience, or even lack of.

I just had a friend who I worked with and knew very well over the last 2 years stab knife in my back so I know how you feel.

on top of that this recession crap makes my employer abuse my talents so I need to quit that too.

people are so most unpredictable and corrupted by sex violence, drugs and profit that society makes me sick and depressed too, never loose yourself,
than you lost it all, only the uncorrupted might end up in a better place after shis prison.

Perhaps you don't back down because you feel there's a purpose to living on and that there's hope? Compared to me, I've had none. I've had much
trouble seeing purpose. Furthermore my mind has been very unclear from lack of sleep and whatever else like maybe lack of peace and nature in my life.
It's hard to get things done like that.

I never back down because there is always a purpose to living and there is always hope.

How do you know I've never been where you are?

Why would anyone need a purpose to exist?

I need no other purpose to exist than that I draw breath.

If your mind has been unclear due to a lack of sleep, you need to get rested.

If nightmares are what causes your lack of sleep, those might be your own "demons" that you will not face, and you need to face them.

I have faced all of my demons and I conquered each and every one of them.

I can speak through my experiences, and of those I've helped throughout life, but I cannot jump in to save you, using the metaphor of a drowning
person here, you are drowning, and if anyone jumps in to assist you, you will only drown them in what seems to be your own desire to seek a reason to
exist.

When I counsel people, I tell them specifically, I will never jump in to save you, I will instead cheer you on from the strong dock, holding out my
hand, and grab yours when you have fought against the current.

The current here being your own negativity, and perhaps depression.

I am not counseling you, nor would I counsel anyone on ATS, but you need something to bring you back to a modicum of neutrality, and not everything
helps everyone.

You have to find your balance.

Seeking it here on ATS, might not be for you, however, I found mine here.

I found mine, through many years of searching, and I am thoroughly happy for it.

The mechanism is based on the belief or fear you give it. I have a theory that for example, it might start with an "agent" whether it be
extraterrestrial or government in origin, or even normal humans (think pagan/"magical" systems which work on belief and movement of energy, allowed
by belief and throught systems) who's purpose is to get you to fear, and believe in it, thereby giving it more power to continue and make it even
worse.

"black magic" works on thought systems, powered by belief. If nobody believed in it, it would have no power.

Its possible that this is the case, or also psychological operations, done by government or even extraterrestrial in origin. Yes technology like this
does in fact exist, if you could just resaerch and find the patents there are for such tecnolog you would know that it does exist.

It can even be human in nature, just simple collective belief in bringing people like us down.

Thetoughy bit might be in recognizing what is the initial engineered event or the initial event that would have fear give it the power.

Most people really don't know what possibilities really exist out there, because they have been hidden from us, even since ANCIENT times.

I have thought that I've been a target for at least one of these. If so then that can explain what I've been experiencing.

so why do you ask for help and then belittle people and not respect thier advise? thats pretty rude dude, try to take it to heart, even the bad stuff
or things you may not like, people are worse of out there just remember that

Originally posted by l neXus l
so why do you ask for help and then belittle people and not respect thier advise? thats pretty rude dude, try to take it to heart, even the bad stuff
or things you may not like, people are worse of out there just remember that

man where have you seen me belittling others and not respecting them? You have got it twisted and then you wonder why it seems like every attempt to
get to the bottom of an issue seems to always get thwarted. This always happens, people think I'm crazy, and disrespecting them and not taking
advice, and they end up seeing me as an enemy.

Originally posted by l neXus l
so why do you ask for help and then belittle people and not respect thier advise? thats pretty rude dude, try to take it to heart, even the bad stuff
or things you may not like, people are worse of out there just remember that

man where have you seen me belittling others and not respecting them? You have got it twisted and then you wonder why it seems like every attempt to
get to the bottom of an issue seems to always get thwarted. This always happens, people think I'm crazy, and disrespecting them and not taking
advice, and they end up seeing me as an enemy.

Hey TQS. I'm not going to waste your time with the BS and attitude some other posters are giving you. It's blatantly obvious from their posts that
even the well meaning people have no clue what you're going through. They have no idea that things sometimes just don't get better.

The fact that you're engaging online with others is a good sign, but of course it also means things are not as rock bottom as they could be. Every
word you've written I could have written. I'm not about to do this in a thread so I'm going to U2U you. If you ignore it I'll U2U you again just
to make sure. I have no axe to grind, no agenda to fulfill, I simply see myself in you and would like to offer what little solace I can.

This content community relies on user-generated content from our member contributors. The opinions of our members are not those of site ownership who maintains strict editorial agnosticism and simply provides a collaborative venue for free expression.