Saturday, December 24, 2005

Steal A Suit For Your Son To Wear To His First Big Dance Day

Steal A Suit For Your Son To Wear To His First Big Dance Day!

You are an impoverished single mother and your teenage son is in love with a girl who has two working parents. He confided to you that he wanted to ask this girl to the upcoming winter formal, but that he was afraid she would say no because he was poor and she was not. You did all you could to reassure your son that that girl shouldn’t care about anything except for his character. You tried to give him the courage to march right up and ask her to be his date. It was a wonderful day when he came home beaming with the news that she had said yes. Then you both became aware of a small hurdle that needed to be surpassed.

“I need a suit,” your son said.

“I know,” you told him.

“Did Dad leave any behind?” he asked you.

You shook your head. “I threw all his clothes away.”

“It can’t be from the Salvation Army,” your son said. He was starting to panic. “I need a new suit. A real, new suit. Marion will be able to tell the difference.”

You promised your son, “I’ll take care of it.”

You’re going to have to steal a suit for him from one of the apartments that you clean as a visiting maid. The apartment you clean on Saturdays is occupied by a low level record executive in his twenties. He’s about as tall as your son, maybe a little bit taller. You were shocked the first time you opened his closet door by how many suits he had. Steal one today.

No matter how much you implore your son to be careful to keep the suit clean, he’ll end up catching the suit on fire when the car he’s riding in crashes into a telephone pole. Your son won’t be hurt, but you’ll have to figure out how to replace an $800 suit before the owner notices it missing.

Have a car wash. In the end you’ll make enough money, but the owner will discover that the suit is a replacement by some detail you won’t think to consider, and he’ll have you fired from the cleaning service. But don’t worry. When you confront the suit owner with the reality of what a hardship he’s brought upon you and your son, he’ll fall in love with your feistiness and end up being a surrogate role model for your boy.