A McMorgan is one of the sweatier mammals of our day. McMorgans are known to repeatedly lift heavy objects over their head, for no reason. The usual attire of a McMorgan is something sweaty, often a raggedy Packers shirt, soiled with a cheese product. A McMorgan can, will, and may imitate a tornado at any given time. This is when a McMorgan is most dangerous. They like making purses too.

At Sonic the other day, I saw what I believed to be a McMorgan lifting his car over his head to prove that if he didn't receive his Breakfast Toaster in a timely manner, he possessed the ability to make everyone's day a little worse. I immediately offered my sweet tea as a sacrifical offering to this McMorgan beast who obviously escaped the zoo only moments earlier. Scary, son.