Forty and freaked about being fat. I had my LapBand placed April 20, 2009. On my Bandiversary one year later-April 20, 2010- I had all of my excess skin surgically removed. I am starting this decade of my life much healthier and happier.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Phat Girls Club

I really enjoyed reading about your different thoughts on "to tell or not to tell" about being banded. Tracy from Metomorphic Journey left a well thought out response, I believe on Sally's blog. She cited the statistics that overweight women earn less- which is one of the reasons I wanted WLS. I couldn't professionally afford not to. She also alluded to the fact that it may not be WLS that people are so turned off by, but obesity itself. "Fatism" if you will. I think she's on to something there. On the flip side of that, though, I've noticed something interesting. The only remote criticism I get is from other overweight women. Women who work out and take obvious care of themselves, have welcomed me to their side with open arms. They seem genuinely excited for my success so far. And then, to bring it full circle, I was thinking how no matter how much weight we lose, we still feel like fat girls who are somehow imposters and tricking everyone into believing we are thin women. You know the feeling of going into a regular store at the mall, you feel like a spy or something, like you don't really belong there. So, my sistas, we are like a secret society or something. Where do we belong? Definitely with each other, but we have lives outside of the battle with obesity and WLS. Food for thought.

Speaking of food I can only think about- I got my fill this morning, and am now on liquids. I went from 2.5 to 3.75 cc's in my 10 cc band. Whoa. This was my third, and largest fill. My surgeon helped to explain the "where does the saline go?" question. He doesn't even keep a running total of how much you "should" have (although he obviously documents how much he puts in each time). He explained that the band itself has folds, and it's nearly impossible to aspirate all the water out of newer bands. So, they determine how much saline you have (approximately) at the time of fill. If that makes sense? It did to me. Oh, and I was the guinea pig for his new NP. She almost stuck me with the boring needle (it touched my skin, and he told her to stop). That would have hurt, yes, but please don't screw up my port... it would have taken a huge chunk if it made it to my device. But, she was a good poke, and I gave her kudos afterwards. When she feels confident, she'll make less mistakes.

2 comments:

I think you are right about overweight people being more crtical about WLS than fit people. I see fit people all the time that are excited to encourage those of us changing our lives. On the flip side I think that fit people are more critical of obesity (ex. the rolling of the eyes when you sit next to them on a plane). I just recently saw my friend (since I was 3) post a comment on facebook about "pigs" at the bar. I was shocked, but it isn't the first time I have heard comments like that from many different people. I think it stems from the thought that if they can do it then you have no excuse. And maybe in some ways that is true. We CAN do it. However, it isn't laziness that stopped me before!

My NP is new too. She has only done a couple fills, and we think my last two fills didn't quite hit the mark. grrr.... Now I have to go back in three weeks to try and have the "not so great with fills" doctor show her how to do it. I am glad everything went well!

You are so right. And so are TJ and Sally and... Right now I am on the fence. I can't even think of one close friend that I have who is fat. They are all thin or only have 10-15 pounds to lose after Christmas. They don't get how difficult it is to lose 50 or 100 or 200 pounds. Perhaps people look at me and say, "oh she only has 60 pounds to lose not like the 160 I have to lose". But it is so hard. My co-workers have no business knowing my life as TJ mentioned in another blog- the problem isn't the people you tell it is the other people that hear. My workplace is gossip central. As I go through this journey, I think I will probably let a few of my bestest friends know how I did it. Because they have always been supportive of me and I think they really care.

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About Me

Lap-Banded 04-20-09 and it was one of the best decisions of my life. At 299 lbs, I refused to see 300 EVER, and decidided something drastic had to be done. The second my insurance covered bariatric surgery, I started my Lap-Band process. I've now lost over 100 lbs!