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The Courage of Zazen

I was at a full-day zazenkai yesterday and the dharma talk caused me to reflect:

There is the courage of the soldier, and the courage of the mother holding the child. There's the courage of the father and the farmer and doctor - the everyday courage of facing things.

There is the courage of zazen - and it takes a lot of courage - to still still and be alone with whatever comes up - watching it go by - and letting it go. There are times when I want to get up and run away screaming - but I sit in place. There re times when tears stream from my eyes - like yesterday - and I found the strength to sit.

The courage of zazen - it is there for us - sitting together throughout time and space. Thank you for practicing with us, with one another, with me. I used to be a solitary sitter - alone with my fears, delusions, and narrative. Now I sit with others - it is very powerful, and it encourages me to show up on days and at times when I would rather be distracted and hide in my fears.

I am only now discovering how powerful it is to sit in a Sangha - it enriches one's own practice and there are times when in turn we are really "there" for someone else who is struggling or having difficulty in practice or in life. When we take a vow to "end suffering" our act of zazen is a realization of that vow.

Hi Yugen. I have found a big difference between sitting alone in a kuti in the woods, without social stimulation, and sitting alone in the world, with many interactions and responsibilities. Alone in the woods is easy, attractive, but it also brings to mind the line from Hamlet."O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space". Sitting alone in the world is very different, and very hard, and although there is nowhere to slide back to, backsliding happens anyway. I need the ritual and shared effort. It makes no real difference whether it is bricks and mortar or online, it is all concrete enough. All the times of real transformation and deepening of practice have been times of deep Sangha involvement.

Gassho Daizan

Last edited by Daizan; 08-25-2013 at 11:27 PM.

As a trainee I ask that all comments by me on matters of Dharma be taken with "a grain of salt".

I was at a full-day zazenkai yesterday and the dharma talk caused me to reflect:

There is the courage of the soldier, and the courage of the mother holding the child. There's the courage of the father and the farmer and doctor - the everyday courage of facing things.

There is the courage of zazen - and it takes a lot of courage - to still still and be alone with whatever comes up - watching it go by - and letting it go. There are times when I want to get up and run away screaming - but I sit in place. There re times when tears stream from my eyes - like yesterday - and I found the strength to sit.

The courage of zazen - it is there for us - sitting together throughout time and space. Thank you for practicing with us, with one another, with me. I used to be a solitary sitter - alone with my fears, delusions, and narrative. Now I sit with others - it is very powerful, and it encourages me to show up on days and at times when I would rather be distracted and hide in my fears.

I am only now discovering how powerful it is to sit in a Sangha - it enriches one's own practice and there are times when in turn we are really "there" for someone else who is struggling or having difficulty in practice or in life. When we take a vow to "end suffering" our act of zazen is a realization of that vow.

Deep bows
Yugen

It does take ALOT of courage doesn't it? I remember one sitting,liking it to climbing mount everest twice over. I remember that's how i felt, I remember thinking to myself in the midst of the storm of sitting still that that's what climbing mount everest twice over might feel like.LOL, In hindsight perhaps that's a major exaggeration, but i sure as heck remember feeling that was true when i i felt it.

Not always so amazing and sincere, Clark. I have not worn the Rakusu sown here for some time, and have sat mostly alone and offline. Only coming around here to peck out thoughtful words from time to time. The words are from a real enough place, but life is messier than text, and it adds up to insincerity. With apologies and respect.

As a trainee I ask that all comments by me on matters of Dharma be taken with "a grain of salt".

Hello Yugen,
Thank you for your testimony, which touched me deeply.
I practiced zazen alone for some time, but it did not satisfy me. It was for me as "Hinayana", since my heart is open to the path of greatness.
The Sangha is very important to practice zazen with a joyful spirit (kishin).

Thank you for this. The only thing I'll add is something I said on the tea party yesterday. Sitting in a group is great, but sitting alone is great too. There is no difference except in our minds. It is about pushing our boundaries and if sitting in a group terrifies you at first, it is ok to sit alone (but never alone). This practice is not the same without a sangha, but for those who have taken a giant leap just to come here and sit at all, it is ok to work on that before taking another giant step to sitting with folks. In the end you will come to see the enrichment that Yugen speaks of...but in time. Just being at Treeleaf and reading posts like these is always big step and a giant one for folks like me 5 years ago!

Not always so amazing and sincere, Clark. I have not worn the Rakusu sown here for some time, and have sat mostly alone and offline. Only coming around here to peck out thoughtful words from time to time. The words are from a real enough place, but life is messier than text, and it adds up to insincerity. With apologies and respect.