On Reddit the other day some chap called cptsweatpantz decided to start an online petition to get Tool to re-release their albums on vinyl. A noble suggestion, however was met with the usual cries of “online polls don’t do shit!” – something I agree with despite signing anyway.

Lo and behold the creator of the petition receives an email from Danny Carey (screenshot of which is below) in which he says:

The petition won’t really matter. We are already in the process of remastering all of our albums for release on vinyl in the near future.

Thanks for your enthusiasm Josh,

D.C.

Good news on the surface of things, since I suspect many would embrace the opportunity to grab some legitimate, and reasonably priced Tool vinyl. “Near future” can be taken to mean anytime between now and End Times.

It should be pointed out that it’s pretty easy to spoof email addresses, so I’d suggest some caution here (though I have no real reason to doubt this random Reddit guy). Fingers crossed it’s legit though.

Okay, hold on. That was harsh. What I mean to say is,- remasters would entail far too much effort and WORK. What they should do is reissue them as is, on CD only, since that format is pretty much irrelevant now. But with a twist. Record a brand new 40 second soundscape of, I don’t know, maybe a fan blowing. Chop it up in 4 increments. Undertow comes with seconds 0 through 10 tacked on, Aenima with seconds 10 through 20, and so on. 200 dollar price tag each,- 800 dollars for all 4. But wait,- there’s more value! Each CD comes with a photo copy of the same ticket stub from one show from last year,- AND a photo PERSONALLY screenshotted by Adam Jones (or an assistant, at least) from a YouTube video from the same show. (Maynard won’t be visible in the screenshot, of course).

I seriously doubt this is true. What was the curveball again? The Opiate video? That hasn’t even been released so what would make anyone believe that remasters of all of their music is in the works? It’s probably someone trolling Tool fans.