Sunday, February 17, 2013

Surviving: Landon is approaching five months. The last three and a half months have been some of the longest of my life. There is just no way to describe how high-maintenance he is. And how sleep deprived I am. None of the other four, not even Carson, were as difficult as babies as he is. I thought I understood babies. I've had five. I have managed to get all of them sleeping well and into a routine by four months. Not Landon. It's all due to gas, but you probably won't believe that. I have tried EVERYTHING. I can only pray that he is an easy toddler. Now, when you see him, he will flash you a huge adorable grin and possibly even woo you with his sweet voice. It's all a show, folks. I promise! Due to this current status, I haven't had much energy to put towards anything else. That's okay for awhile. But it is beginning to drag me down. Wear me out. Take it's toll. I miss having a somewhat tidy home. I miss doing other things that give me satisfaction, such as cooking for fun, scrapbooking, writing, reading....Bible study! I miss friends. All of my relationships are suffering.

MOPS: I still love it. I am still committed to MOPS and passionate about reaching moms. But, as is everything else, my MOPS work is suffering. I am barely present to support the local team. I haven't been able to really plunge into developing relationships as I would like.

Health: Being almost 30 pounds overweight and stuck in maternity clothes for months has had its own effect on my emotional well-being. That, combined with my usual wintertime issues, following Christmas I struggled to eat healthy and couldn't get motivated to work out. With so much to be done that never gets done, how could I take the time to exercise? I was on a downward spiral.

CrossFit: This is the glimmer of light in this tunnel. Thanks to a friend who was brave enough to do it first and then encouraged me to try it. The truth is, all the stuff at home will never get done. I can leave the house and go to CrossFit for an hour and forget all the stuff I left behind. When I am at CrossFit, I get an hour free from thinking about anything else because I am so focused on getting though a really tough workout. My brain gets a rest. I fight through and leave full of adrenaline and satisfied because I accomplished one thing that day. I got one step closer to being healthy. And, many days, the high of CrossFit is what gives me the energy to accomplish just a few more tasks. And, even though I started out supremely out of shape, every time we come back to a lift or exercise that we haven't done for a week or so, it's so exciting to find I can do it better or heavier. I am excited to be getting stronger, as well as leaner. Thankfully, with CrossFit and getting back to Paleo, I have lost 10 pounds over the last month. I am getting closer to fitting my regular clothes again.

So, there you have it. That's what's been going on. I am here, praying ceaselessly for baby to get over his gas issues and sleep like a good boy. And counting down the many, many, many days until summer. If I could have one wish granted to me, I think it would be to live somewhere else from Jan-April. Somewhere warm and sunny, of course!