Sunday, November 19, 2006

Jake/Ashlyn--Can I have my life back, pretty please?

I’ve decided to go to Texas and talk to Stephen, the new me, in person. It’s a bit of a waste of money because we could have the conversation on the phone—but I just want to look him in the eye when I ask for my old life back. Art and I have discussed his theory at length now, and he has convinced me. As soon as the Inn is open again, we can start the process of getting our lives back.

My biggest hurdle is the question of whether or not the new Jake will relinquish my life back to me. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that things were going really well for him—that’s really an understatement. Things have gone phenomenal for him; it’s like everything he touches turns to gold. It kind of drove me nuts that someone could walk into my life and do so much better. I’ve discovered through many sleepless nights of obsessed web searching that one of his secrets of success is a business partner--a silent business partner who has invested large sums of cash into the new business. I’ve searched and searched for info on this silent partner, but the best I could come up with were the initials “S.A.”.

It’s been interesting to me how differently Art and I are handling the possibility of returning to our old lives. When I was convinced I was going to spend the rest of my life as Ashlyn, I was really pushing Art and myself to adapt and get on with our lives. I was even looking into classes next semester at Northeastern University and I started taking Ashlyn’s birth control pills. I don’t have any current plans to sleep with a guy, but the curious part of my brain was telling me it might happen some day. So I decided to be prepared. I guess my point is that I was starting to make long range plans as Ashlyn.

Now I’m all confused on what I should be doing. If the original Ashlyn is going to be back in this life in six months, should I sign up for classes she wouldn’t be interested in taking? I’ve promised Josh a second date—and I’ve managed to put him off so far—but the original Ashlyn broke up with this guy, aren’t I doing both of them a disservice by going out on dates with her ex?

Most fascinating is the change in attitude in Art. Now that he doesn’t consider living Liz’s life a lifetime prison sentence, he’s been a lot more comfortable in her skin. Now it’s a big adventure to him and the investigative reporter side of his brain has kicked in. He keeps telling me this going to make a great book someday—I keep telling him he might as well call it fiction because no one will believe it.