Author
Topic: Suicidally depressed about a low GPA. (Read 3806 times)

I am a senior in college and my cumulative GPA is really horrible because I screwed up and didn't take school seriously when I was younger. I am embarrassed to say how low it is. Now, I am 27 years old and I'm getting straight As in upper-level courses. Unfortunately, it is very difficult for me to raise my terrible GPA because I already have 114 credits. I would do anything to go back in time and fix the mistakes I've made in the past. Now, I will never be able to get into any graduate program. I am an anthropology major interested in pursuing a career in archaeology, physical anthropology, or forensic anthropology. I think about committing suicide every day, but I am scared of dying and my parents would be devastated if I would kill myself. I feel like I don't want to live anymore, but at the same time I'm too scared to kill myself. What should I do?

If your are truly suicidal, then you need to talk to your doctor NOW. After investing 27 years in life, it is a waste to give it all up prematurely.

If you are doing well in your upper level courses, talk to some of your favorite instructors. Perhaps try to get a summer research grant. There are also internships available. You're interested in archaeology. You can try to join a dig somewhere. There is always a place for people to help moving dirt.

If you're 27, do you have other "interesting" experience? Point out on your applications that you are not the "typical" 22 or 23 yr old college graduate, but you have 5 more years of experience.

Try doing well on your graduate school entrance exams. Write a good essay, and have someone review it if necessary, and get some good references and recommendations.

I ended up taking a year of post-bac studies, but I think they just averaged the GPA with the undergraduate studies.

I wonder if you could enroll as a post-bac student, but take graduate level courses, which you could then claim as applying towards a graduate degree when you try to get into a department and perhaps a stipend. It might be tricky, but you might be able to get "new stuff" weighted better than "old stuff" that way.

There are some people who actually get a second undergraduate degree (more work than a double major, I think, but less than the first degree).

I know nothing about the US educational system, so there is nothing I can add to the advice from Clifford. However, I worked for several years with people who attempted suicide, or frequently self harmed.

From reading your post two things are evident.

First, you care about others and are concerned about the pain your death would cause to your parents.

Second, you are taking some positive action, even posting on a forum like this shows that you have not given up.

There are people out there who will offer help and support, both with the educational and emotional sides.

Look for the help and take it. I think you will find you are worth the effort, and that's what counts in the long run; your belief that you are worthwhile, in yourself. Achievements can follow.

Ten years from now, almost everyone will be permanently out of work (due to AGI - artificial general intelligence) and will live off a standard income which will likely be higher than the average wage of today. Those who do still work will also be selected on the basis of their actual capabilities rather than mere qualifications. No one should be thinking about killing themselves over a short-term problem relating to imaginary future work opportunities - universities are full of people who are training for the past. Think further ahead, and if you really want to dedicate your life to work (which will doubtless still bring sufficient reward to compensate for taking up your time), try to look for something genuinely futureproof. Don't kill yourself over debts either - people who have gone into debt in search of an education should not be ashamed if they are unable to pay it back as they have been guided down the wrong path by politicians, and it's the politicians who are 100% to blame for this. However difficult things may get in the short term, you should fight hard to keep your head out of the water, because the storm will come to an end when the old order is blown away and the people's wealth is recovered from the thieving elite who have stolen it from us and impoverished us out of raw greed. They cannot win the fight against AGI: AGI will take our side, and not theirs.

To say humanity will replace ourselves in a decade would be a bit optimistic. No doubt that as we increase automation, then those who build the automation and those who control the natural resources will hold much of the worlds wealth, perhaps until there is a wealth redistribution revolution.

Undoubtedly tasks such as factory work will be increasingly replaced with automation.

Archaeology, anthropology, historical restorations, and etc may benefit from increasing sophisticated tools, but may be slow to replace the people. And, while there are some online education resources, it will be some time before the universities are replaced.

You should not judge the future rate of progress by the past. As soon as machines equal our level of intelligence (and they will do soon), they will leave us trailing within a matter of hours and they will quickly go on to work out all the missing algorithms required for good vision and robotics all for themselves, soon making archaeology something that can be done far better by machines. The level of expertise of the system will surpass that of all the best human archaeologists combined, to the point that allowing humans to dig will soon come to be seen as an act of vandalism. If you want to work for longer into the future, your best bet is to work in the arts, but even there there's nothing certain - a machine could simply use human feedback to steer its creative process, thereby writing the most appealing books possible despite not understanding anything about how they work in terms of how they move us. The rich will not be able to hold onto their ill-gotten wealth - there will necessarily be a system for distributing wealth fairly amongst all people regardless of whether they work or not. Anyone trying to run the world with warped AGI aimed at maintaining their own priviledge will necessarily create dangerous AGI which will be a threat to human survival, so it will not be allowed to happen.

Will it happen within a decade? I think so, but then I've thought that for the last 15 years. My own work should have got there long before now if it wasn't for illness - sitting/standing in front of a machine all day nearly killed me and I'm now only able to work at a fraction of the rate I used to, but the finish line looks tantalisingly close. I'm on the verge of being able to program via natural language, and it's clear that others are in the same place with their work. Ten years is a long time, and I'll walk naked from Lands End to John o' Groats if the AGI revolution hasn't happened by then.

The advantage of going that way is that you don't have to walk up Struie Hill. Back in the 70s I was one of a team of 10 who did the walk the other way, as a relay; doing 5 mile stretches. One of my stretches started at the bottom of Struie Hill, and finished at the top. Sort of sticks in your mind.

What is your aimed goal in your life? Why do those cumulative GPAs occupy such a great part of your life? Do they have something affecting your path to the goal? I think only GPAs cannot determine what your life would be. You should, perhaps must, go to see the psychologist. I think you have much difficulty dealing with stress. I mean you will be going through many more stressors during your entire life, which are much more mentally severe than getting low GPAs. If I were you, I would be relaxed and tried any possible ways to find solutions to this problem. But, I don't think you alone can bear all of this by yourself. Probably, the best way is to ask for suggestions from a psychologist. The real problem is not that you've got low/high GPAs, but it is, you should admit, that you are having few signals of a mental disorder.

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