Bless This Mess

This whole week I’m showcasing the best tweets from every Follow Friday post from 2011. I’ve collected the best of the best and am featuring them here, along with my 100 favorite photos from the last year. I hope this is as much fun for you to read as it was for me to put together. Enjoy.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

louispeitzman There’s a thin line between Bette Davis eyes and “You look like a pug-human hybrid.”

wordlust The expression “Shame on you!” isn’t working. We need to invent a shame hose.

KeepingYouAwake Whenever I say “one of these days…” I like to motion at a calendar so people have an idea of when to expect it.

simontarr If I start screaming for an ambulance later, someone remind me that I just ate a ton of beets.

theRratedBull The only reason I know this is the real world and not The Matrix is because my phone malfunctions at least twice a day.

BillCorbett “You are not aware of how aware you are. Are you aware of that? You are, more than you’re even aware!” — my upcoming self-help book

louispeitzman Everything I was into as a kid now terrifies me as an adult: clowns, robots, the United States.

thejennui Did a load of laundry with a chocolate heart in SOMEONE’s pocket. It looks like everything has Pooticles on it.

matthewbaldwin There’s no business like show business. Well, except taxidermy. Remarkably similar, it turns out.

ethanharrison I hate when bathrooms have timed lights. It’s like I’m trying to defuse a bomb in my pants. If I fail, everything goes black.

KeepingYouAwake Suddenly, and with no reason, parts of The Eagles – Life in the Fast Lane just made sense to me. I must have had a stroke.

markleggett A stranger looked at me while I was wiggling my finger around in my belly button, and I didn’t bother to stop. This is who I am now.DamienFahey Guy Fieri’s shirts are dangerous. How will anyone know if he’s ever ACTUALLY on fire?

dirtyvicar Wow my 200th Tweet! Seems like only yesterday I was saying how cosmically superfluous Twitter is. Well, that was yesterday, but I’m a hypocrite.

Gen_with_a_G Craig and I just had a sarcasm showdown and Sam ran in and shouted “Listen up, guys! Fighting is not cool.” Me 0. Craig -30. Sam 1.shinyinfo Since the book cart isn’t motorized, I basically just dance around the cart while someone pushes it. #GhostRideTheBookCart

popcandy Confessed my love of jigsaw puzzles to my pal Laura, who replied, “It’s OK, I do puzzles by Thomas Kinkade. He is the painter of light.”

YUCKYBOT Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I’d like to read a medication bottle and see “MAY CAUSE AWESOME CHOREOGRAPHY!”

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

This whole week I’m showcasing the best tweets from every Follow Friday post from 2011. I’ve collected the best of the best and am featuring them here, along with my 100 favorite photos from the last year. I hope this is as much fun for you to read as it was for me to put together. Enjoy.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

lafix When people ask if they can get me anything, I always ask for a jetpack.

simontarr Pretty sure my father in law buys a new printer when his ink cartridges run out. He might actually be a genius.

shinyinfo They’re still publishing Murder, She Wrote books! This makes me happier than is appropriate!

louispeitzman Those damn commercials make me feel like such a murderer when I use Mucinex. That globule had plans, you guys. He had a family.

thesulk Why are you calling me? Just text me a couple of letter-words like a normal person.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.