It’s a happy home on the set of ‘House’

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FULL ‘HOUSE’: “House” comes back on the air tonight on Fox-Channel 2 after a hiatus. The cast includes (clockwise from top center) Hugh Laurie, Jesse Spencer, Lisa Edelstein, Robert Sean Leonard, Jennifer Morrison and Omar Epps.

AT LUNCH the other day my pal Zoe looked at me and said, “If I had your job, I think I’d just shoot myself.”

This from a woman with various TiVOs and a television gadget closet that is more high-tech than the local TV station’s.

Well, I’ll tell you what keeps me from being bundled up for the loony bin: shows like Fox’s “House.”

After a month off the air, “House” is back tonight right after “American Idol” — and it’s smokin’. If you’ve never seen an episode, it centers on brilliant diagnostician Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie), whose self-involvement distances him from his patients and most of his colleagues.

Laurie’s considerable acting talent combined with great writing makes House an intriguing character with biting wit that brings humor to the medical drama.

Last month, a group of TV critics toured the “House” set in Los Angeles. Our tour was led by Robert Sean Leonard, who plays oncologist — and House’s lone friend — Dr. James Wilson, and Jennifer Morrison, House’s beautiful team member Dr. Allison Cameron, who has a crush on her mentor.

“House”9 tonight Fox-Channel 2

The first stop on the visit was the new pediatrics set.

“Didn’t we have kids on the show before?” asked Leonard, who hadn’t seen this part of the set before.

“We put them on the maternity set,” Morrison said, showing the same crisp efficiency as a tour guide as she does in her “House” character.

We walked through the sliding doors, which are actually glass doors opened by two guys using fishing wire.

“They just stand around and open those doors when we are shooting those scenes,” says Morrison. “I have no idea what someone would be paid per hour to do something like that.”

Ah, the reality of TV sets. Which prompted Leonard to reveal that his hospital name badge has always said “Jack Wilson” instead of his character’s name James.

“I keep telling them to change it to James, but they say no one can see it anyway,” Leonard said, a bit chagrined.

He brightened up a bit when we mentioned digital and HD capabilities might force the wardrobe people to give him a correct badge.

As we moved along to the next part of the tour, Leonard remarked that the atrium used on the show was right around the corner.

“There’s the atrium with the trees and the… um, It’s gone!,” a surprised Leonard said.

“We haven’t had that since the first few episodes of the first season,” Morrison told him.

“Apparently, I don’t even work here,” Leonard said a bit forlornly.

“He isn’t in a lot of scenes around here,” Morrison whispered to the tour group. “He’s mostly in his office, or on the roof, or in the elevator.”

“I do spend a lot of time in the elevator,” Leonard confirms. “I guess I need to get out more.”

Next stop was the operating room, where special effects wizard Tyler Patton demonstrated a handy little thing that allows an actor to lie down with the head exposed and the rest of the body hidden under a model of a human body used for the surgery scenes.

“The actor just slides underneath this open cavity,” Patton explained. “It’s much better than the old days when we used make-up. Especially if they need to go to the bathroom.”

Good to know.

Apparently Jesse Spencer, who plays cute Dr. Robert Chase, another member of House’s elite team, doesn’t get to take pictures while he’s on the clock. He happily snapped away through most of the tour.

“This is great,” he said. “I’ve always wanted to take pictures of all this, but we never get a chance to hang around here unless we’re working.”

Then Patton showed us some cool stuff, like the scalpel that allows (fake) blood to seep out. Spencer started snapping again.

As we walked past the office of attorney Stacy (Sela Ward), Leonard pointed out that it was Stacy’s old office, and they would probably use it for something else later.

“Wait. You guys knew that right? That she was only guest starring for a limited number of episodes? It’s not a secret, is it?” Leonard pleaded.

Not any more.

Moving on to House’s office, we learn that the famous red ball that he used to toss and play with while pondering a tough diagnosis isn’t around any more.

“Someone took it and sold it on eBay,” Leonard said. “And I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you that either.”

Too late, baby.

Over to the left is House’s outer office, where most of the action takes place during the show. And there’s the famous white board where House jots down the symptoms and the possible explanations. The board used to be clear. Then it was white. It used to be on wheels, but it kept rolling away.

“Now it’s so solid and heavy, you’d have been in a week of traction if you tried to move it,” said David Foster, one of the show’s writers.

Foster says that they get ideas for the series from friends, the Internet and medical journals.

“You use those sources for inspiration, but then you have to take these rare diseases and stretch it into a four-act play,” Foster said. “That makes it even more rare.”

The tour ended at the main lobby of the hospital, where Laurie was swarmed by “House” fans posing as critics.

Laurie said he’s still living in a hotel and hasn’t decided to move his family over from England just yet.

“At first, it just seemed like there was no reason to do it, because statistically not that many series go to a second season, and I wasn’t that sure audiences would watch a show about a damaged genius,” Laurie said. “Now, I have a child who refuses to leave his friends, so what can I do?”

And he was asked about how, as a British actor, he is coping with the horrors of Hollywood, especially after Gillian “The X-Files” Anderson had proclaimed a few days earlier that she had fled Hollywood for London because Los Angeles was “soul decaying.”

“Well, I’m having a good time,” Laurie said. “I don’t like palm trees, but I don’t think they are decaying my soul.”

House. You gotta love him.

If you have any questions about TV, you can reach Susan Young by calling (925) 416-4820, e-mail at syoung@angnewspapers.com, or fax at (925) 416-4874.

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