Ferdie da Birdie: "Walter's Big Problem." Guest-Starring Walter the SparrowFerdie: Hello, I am Ferdie da Birdie and this is my cousin, Walter the Sparrow.Ferdie: We live in the middle of a city, in New York's City Park. I live here the entire year, but Walter flies South in the winter. Today is November 17th, and he must go South now.

Walter: But I can't do that. I have a big problem. I'm ashamed to say that I can't fly. That's my problem.
(*Author's note: Don't ask me how he made the trip before. Maybe he went on airliners. I don't know. I have no clue why Ferdie's in NYC, either. Maybe he went to college or a high school study abroad program??)Ferdie: That's terrible! Are you sure you can't fly?Walter: Yes, pretty sure. I've tried and I've tried, but I just can't do it.

Walter: (sob!) I'll NEVER get South! I'll freeze to death!
(*Yes, I know, 'will' is German for 'want'. I didn't know that at the time. Still, if you translate it directly, it's fairly entertaining. I never want to go South! I want to freeze to death! ahaha moving on )Ferdie: Don't be like that, Walter. You will fly, because I'm going to help you.

Walter: (sniffle) You will?Ferdie: Yes, I will. I'm an expert on flying.
(*Let's pause for a moment to laugh heartily at this, shall we? What's that old adage again? Those that can't doteach. My parents are teachers, so normally I hate that phrase but it fits so well here )

LATER Walter: (peering over edge of branch high above the ground) Are you sure this is going to work?Ferdie: (shrugs) Yeah, mostly.

Walter: (alarmed) Only MOSTLY?!?Ferdia: Of course.

Walter: (folds arms stubbornly) Then I'm not going to do it.Ferdia: (rolls up 'sleeve') Oh yes you will, Walter!

Ferdie: (jumps off branch) Here I come!Walter: (off panel, but still screaming)(*I would like to take a moment to point out that I cannot see Ferdie voluntarily jumping off a branch that high up without some absolutely, Earth-shatteringly huge motivating force, like an approaching meteor or incoming missile or trained sniper or something like that. But we'll let that slide, shall we?)

Ferdie: (catches up to still-screaming Walter) You have to flap your wings, Walter!Walter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!(*Kindly ignore the fact that their arms have magically transformed into wings. Maybe this whole comic is a dream. That certainly accounts for the ease with which the fabric of reality is being warped each passing panel )Walter: (stops screaming) What?Ferdie: Flap you wings!

Walter: (beats wings. Behold the many uses of 'Schlag,' which in these circumstances mean 'flap'.)

Walter: (beating wings furiously  something Ferdie doesn't seem to have to do ) I'm flying!Ferdie: Yes, but we're still going down

Walter: (looks down) Oops.Ferdia: Yeah.
(*Why don't they just fly up? Because I've got a Mack truck here, and I need to fit it through a plothole SOMEWHERE )

(The two disappear into the thick canopy of the park's trees. Evidently Ferdie picked a rooftop garden as the starting point of Walter's flying lesson. Or the laws of space/time could be being blatantly brushed aside again )Ferdie: Ouch!Walter: Oof!Ferdie: Ow!Waleter: Aaa!(Ferdie and Walter land with a 'Thud!' in a bird's nest. Yes, 'Dumpf!' roughly translates to 'Thud!')Walter: We've landed.Ferdie: I noticed.

Walter: We're in a nest.Ferdie: I noticed that, too.

Red Bird: (chases them away) Get out of my nest!
(*Let me take a moment to say that this is not Iiwi. Not. Iiwi. Definitely not. I don't know who it is, but this comic is far too old for it to be Iiwi, and even if it wasn't, it *still* wouldn't feature Iiwi.)

Red Bird: (settles into nest) Crazy boys!Ferdie: (propped up in grass) So, Walter, now that you can fly, are you going to fly South?
(*Ah, yes, so nice to see that, even in this distorted mockery of reality, Ferdie can still be incredibly dense. Kindly ignore the fact that while Ferdie's wings have reverted to arms, Walter's are still present.)

Walter: (shakes Ferdie's hand. This is made difficult by the fact that he still has wings.) Yes. Later, cousin!

Walter: (flies away)Red Bird: Get over here, young man, so I can yell at you! I'm very angry with you!(*Why is she angry? I don't know. Maybe the guys tracked dirt into her nest or something.)

Ferdie: (Flying. Now we know it must be a dream, because Ferdie most definitely CAN NOT fly.) Walter! Wait for me! I'm flying South too!Walter: Why? I thought you stayed here year-roundFerdie: I've changed my mind!

Walter: Why'd you change your mind?Ferdie: (looking behind him) I have this big problem...Red Bird: (flying after them) Get Back Here!!!

(*Final Note: Now that I've translated this and you've read it, let us never speak of it again.)