Superfly ‘Guay

Players in the Uruguayan national team had to vacate their rooms last night after a termite infestation was discovered in one of their beds. According to the media, the players believe this to be part of a dirty tricks campaign to put them off tonight’s game against England. They are still recovering from the shock and disappointment of losing the team’s favourite teatime treat, dulce de leche, after their consignment was confiscated by customs on their arrival in Brazil, and it’s thought that this latest incident will undermine team morale further.