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Last weekend I went to the MBLGTACC. By far the GAYEST event/conference/thing I’ve been to and rightfully so. A few words to describe said experience: Intensely overwhelming.

It was nice to have a physical, real world representation of the LGBT community AND some pretty girls to look at….mhm

but the college conference also made me realize that I’m in a peculiar place. I am starting to accept my gay identity but have some internalized homophobia issues.

Basically a majority of my LGBT university going peers at the conference are out and in a place of acceptance an pride, and I’m still trying to be ok…

Further news of joy includes:

I AM GOING TO LONDON FOR 4 WEEKS in JULY!!!!!

I got accepted by my university’s new ANTHROPOLOGY study abroad program that includes a physical anthropology aspect of looking at dead Brits skulls AND culturally looking at British myths/rituals from ancient to modern times.

Oh and I get to be all touristy and go to Stonehenge. Hell yes.

I officially broke up with my bf a few weeks ago, so now he is my best friend and my X.

He’s taking….me being gay…pretty good and he is being supportive.

He really is a good person; if this situation was reversed I would not have been so…understanding. The way I think of it….is I have an online community, new friends, books, resources; while society just tells my X to get over it. Since falling in love with a gay girl and then dating her for nearly 5 years isn’t a big deal or anything…..he also gets a ton of shit for being an “ally” and not being gay.

Then I’ve been flirting with someone and it’s absolutely insane, because I am attached, already….

And somehow I still havent made it to my university’s LGBT group. Because go figure, gay people scare me. Especially nice gay people.