Top 10 Tips for Parenting Teens

Parenting teens in today’s world is not for the faint of heart. Peer pressure, technological temptations, multi-media onslaughts, slippery moral slopes, and roller coaster values can make life pretty tough to understand for parent and teen alike. Kids nowadays are more visually oriented and lead fast-paced lives. They know more about the world than their parents did at the same age. Parents likewise lead hectic lives, with two-income schedules, stepfamily adjustments, and competing demands for time and money.

But parenting teens effectively has never been more important. Coming from differing generations and having kids at later ages than previously, parents may feel more confused about their role as teen disciplinarians and guardians. If you or someone you know is struggling with the issue of parenting teens, the following ten tips may be of interest.

1. Learn more about parenting teens.

Until you have done it a few times, parenting can be overwhelming with the first child or two. Check with teachers and school counselors for recommended resources like books, workshops, audiotapes, films, and other items that may help you, and perhaps your child, learn more about successfully navigating the teen years. No parent is born an expert, so don’t be afraid to seek help when needed.

2. Network with other parents of teens.

Parenting can seem scary when you go it alone, so hook up with other parents through the school’s Parent Teacher Association, a church’s parenting class, or a community support group. Exchanging tips and sharing experiences is a great way to become more familiar with what is normal versus what is not. Parenting teens does not mean going it alone.

You may want to get acquainted with neighbors who have teenagers so you can take turns keeping an eye on the kids wherever they are at and report inappropriate or questionable behavior to parents before something happens.

3. Encourage social interaction.

As children turn into teenagers, they will begin to spread their wings and fly. This is the time for parents to stand back and let kids learn about life on their own terms. One primary way for this to happen is through social interaction. Keep an eye on your teenager’s friends, but support wholesome friendships and activities that help kids to develop social skills and learn about the outside world while still under their parents’ protective custody.

4. Monitor academic progress.

During the teen years, a bevy of factors may interfere with your teenager’s academic development. Hormones can kick in, distracting them with thoughts of the girl or boy next door. Growth spurts may cause excessive fatigue and naps from time to time. Budding social activities can get in the way of homework and study time. Although all of these things are inevitable, maintain a guiding presence in your child’s life before he becomes overwhelmed with influences like these.

5. Consider extracurricular activities.

Depending on your child’s intellectual development and educational progress, you may want to consider urging her to play sports, take up piano, or study art. Make sure that taking on an extra class or commitment won’t interfere with class assignments. Generally, teens who get involved with extracurricular activities tend to try harder to get good grades. If you are unsure about your teen’s ability to manage both, schedule a talk with the teacher for more in-depth information.

6. Determine your child’s love language.

Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, offers terrific insight to the fact that each of us expresses and accepts love language that may be different from other people. Understanding your teen’s primary love language, as well as your own, can help you coordinate affectionate communication to promote a strong bond between you. The five types are acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, and physical affection. Some teens hate a pat on the shoulder but appreciate a sincere compliment. If you don’t want to get that specific about your teenager’s love language, try asking what makes him feel special, and follow through with it on occasion.

7. Support your teen’s unique talents and special interests.

Everyone is born with individual interests and personal gifts or skills. Study and talk to your teen to find out what these are. If she enjoys animals, you may want to get her a puppy to raise or a heifer to show at the county fair. If he likes woodworking, perhaps his dad or a trustworthy neighbor would be willing to teach him how to use the right tools. Learning a skill and developing a talent helps to build self-esteem and pave the way for other kinds of learning, as well.

8. Be willing to forgive and forget.

There are times while parenting teens that a child will make a serious mistake, such as driving recklessly and crashing the car.

Obviously, this type of error comes with its own consequences. You may want to lecture your teen and issue a few extra penalties and consequences of your own. But if the mistake was unintentional or the dues have been paid, put it behind you. No one likes having the past dredged up again and again as future reminders. Allow your teen to learn from a mistake and build character from it without continually rubbing his nose in it.

9. Discipline consistently.

With every member of most families on the run each day, it can be hard to catch up with your teenager to issue and monitor suitable consequences and discipline when needed. Both parents should agree privately how teens will be disciplined, and then follow through as needed. Failing to check on teens occasionally and discipline unwanted behavior can lead to larger problems down the road. If you state that the teen will lose driving privileges for a week if she gets a D on her report card then be sure to do that if she brings home a D, or your word will soon come to mean little.

10. Don’t neglect spiritual training.

Parenting teens requires several types of guidance that can train them in a variety of ways. Spiritual training through a specific worship system and/or moral guidance is irreplaceable. Give your children something positive to believe in, and set a positive example with your own behavior. Families who worship together tend to be stronger than families that are not faith-based.

Parenting teens is hard work. To do it well, you have to be willing to put in the necessary time and effort, and even then, there are no guarantees. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. And don’t hesitate to admit a mistake if you have made one. Everyone falls short sometime, and raising children is an area where it is easy to misgauge a situation.

When you accept your teens’ shortcomings graciously, they will be more willing to accept yours. But be sure to keep in mind that you are your children’s parent, not their best friend, although it is good to have fun together as a family. You are the authority figure that must set and preside over the rules, although you may want your teen to have input to house rules and chores. Parenting teens is probably the hardest and most meaningful job you will ever have, so make the most of your limited opportunities before the teens leave home permanently for college or a career.

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