I understand both perspectives. I admire hg and at the same time i despise hg. “Love me, hate me, never ignore me”. as hg says.

Of course i gain valuable info here. That goes without saying. Of course i benefit frm interacting w the commenters.

Sometimes i do wonder, if i admire hg so much, what does that say abt me? (Just speaking for myself, not judging anyone else). I admire him because he educates in a manner that is informative, eloquent, creative, and humorous too.

I benefit frm the knowledge he provides. So, i admire and praise him. In order to do that, i must put his victims frm his personal life out of my mind for the time being, otherwise no praise would come forth frm me. What does that make me? Selfish. It means i am selfish.

Imagine if ted bundy, manson, or one of those disgusting psychopaths educated pple on avoiding ‘their kind’? Would i praise them and ignore their heinious crimes? I would not, because their crimes are documented with visuals. I have a ‘picture’ in my mind of everything they did. Mind you, hg never killed anyone (well he did kill but that was for another reason, in order to protect someone i believe) so this is an extreme example, but it still leaves me thinking. Because we do not ‘see’ his abuse to his victims in front of our eyes, we can put it aside for some time in order to praise him. This fact disturbs me.

Note: yes i do feel immensely sad for his victims. Yes i do think he is helping thousands of pple thru his writings. Yes i do admire him. Yes i do hate him. Yes i do praise him. It is all contradictory. Our emotions lead us into contradictory feelings. This is the prblm with empaths.

Another thought – never hire an empath to be supreme court judge. That job shud have a prerequisite of ‘intelligent greater narcissists only’ so that decisions can be based on fact only, without any emotions involved.

P.s. These are my own feelings. I am not judging anyone who agrees or disagrees with me. Everyone is entitled to their feelings.

Jenna, from an early age on I have learned not to think of people in terms of ‘heroes’, ‘admiration’, etc. I grew up in a very hypocritical, religious environment. Masks, appearances, pretenders, abusers, men and women that sat front-row in church and acting like devils when nobody saw them.
I always keep in mind that a person could not be what they seem to be. A person like Mandela could be abusive at home, could be molesting his daughter.. how would anyone know? Yet he is a hero and example for many. Your friendly neighbour might have killed someone. You just never know.. what you see is not always what you get. People are never either ‘black or white’. And you can never really judge a person with full integrity, because you have never walked in their shoes.
A person like HG is abusive, he tells you about the kind of abuse in all his stories here. Therefore you know what he is capable of. Still, it’s a disorder. To what degree can you hold people accountable for their actions?
So, I think I’d prefer to appreciate (admire if you like) a persons actions, rather than a person him/herself.

Inability to see person has good sides and bad sides simultaneously – it is splitting, black-and-white vision itself.
Painting narcs black is such an example. But many narcs are moving the civilization ahead. And not many people even know actually what that narcs prefer in their intimate part of life…

It’s not flawed vision to praise really good sides of somebody. It’s more healthy (vision adequate to reality) than splitted thinking (when one trait make the whole person bad).

No, she meant nothing bad saying all of those words. It was just her perspective and her personal way of expressing herself. No problem.

Also, it was an interesting discussion about our interaction with Tudor. I see nothing wrong to express our admiration about Tudor’s work, because it is really a high quality project on all levels. Moreover, Tudor gives us the unique Narcissistic (Sociopathic, if using the real medical term) perspective. That’s very very good.

About our interaction with Tudor in real life. It won’t happen for two reasons:
1. It wouldn’t be professional. The “therapist” doesn’t have to mess with his/her “patient’s” life. It is a professional code and, breaking it, it would annihilate the whole project’s goal. No one would consider Tudor as a serious man and a professional person after that.
2. It would put Tudor in the legal danger. He could be accused or even sued for creating and using his blog to hunt down his potential victims.

I bet, being a very smart man, Tudor understands this perfectly. Plus, it is his primary interest to be successful and leave the respectful legacy to this world. And “messing” with us (his readers) in a predatory way doesn’t add any honor to his work.

So, relax everyone. Read. Educate yourselves. “Seize the power”. Don’t take anything personally. And have a fun, even in this sad place!

Noname
Yes. You summed it up very well. And he is obviously a very smart man out to establish a legacy. He’s going to be very careful not to mess it up.

This is a safe place for learning and support from other people who understand. People work thru their healing in different ways. The way others react or the feelings they share, or the situations they describe may not make sense to all the rest of us, but that doesn’t make them wrong.

“So, relax everyone. Read. Educate yourselves. “Seize the power”. Don’t take anything personally. And have a fun, even in this sad place!”

Noname, you are spot on and that is exactly how I understand HG Tudor’s work and position on this website/blog. I believe that the readers will make progress, and our comments and interactions with each other could be analysed in an experimental way. His work is original and revolutionary as there is no other writer who has expanded the levels and cadres of the narcissists and empaths as Tudor has, making it easy to comprehend. He also drives his message with precision, without sugarcoating and knows the buttons to push which may rally empaths’ emotions. Some can take it, and some are horrified by what they learn. Personally I have found that the narcissistic experiences I have encountered in my life have been articulated here incomparably well via diverse examples helping me put together my own life’s Rubik’s Cube.

Im sure it is not your intent (or Julies), but the repeated warnings to us and attempts to discredit HGs intentions (which he has made known is not a charitable act) come off as that of those who feel they are of higher intelligence and reasoning than the rest of us and can therefore decide what does or does not benefit us in being here. Neither you or Julie have illustrated what danger you think will befall us or offered an alternative to the information provided. We are not here because we lack intellect but rather because we possess enough not to turn down information we feel is valuable and has made a difference despite the source, and have weighed it against any perceived and unidentified risks. We are also free to come and go which cannot always be said about the narcissists we must deal with in our real lives.

I do believe your warnings come from concern and I thank you for that but I got this.

I am here because I learn.
I enjoy the read. When I do this I build strength.
I like many commenters too and think they are great.
I feel thankful and appreciative to everyone that shares and so they help others gain some comfort and strength.

There are bonds here yes..
trauma bonds?
Hmm. Not for me.
I don’t see any trauma bonds I see the bonding of people with a common goal. An objective.
I see the bonds that are perfectly natural toward a man who has offered consideration and practical help and advice.

HG admits he does not care but he is able to cognitively understand our position and guide.
He does care about his work and in that respect he cares that it is put to effective use and this benefits us a great deal if we apply ourselves.

It is inevitable that this is gratifying to him when his work is used. So be it.

Personally I will flatter HG… and do so… with sincerity of heart because what I say reflects my appreciation of being provided facts and information which by being so candid..shocking…enabled me to open my eyes to some horrible truths I needed to accept..to face.

This has propelled me forwards so much faster than would have been the case and shed light on the darker areas I would never have ever known of without his help.

This gratitude is admittedly affectionate and I will make no apology for it.
It does not make me weak..I am not flawed..or trauma bonded or anything else.

My eyes are wide open and i am no one’s fool.
This makes me free to express any emotion in whatever way I see fit because I am in control of my choices.

I am sure I am not alone in these feelings.
We must be careful not to underestimate other people or their reasons for being here.

I flatter yes.. in a genuine way.
because I can
because I want to.
because I’m capable of protecting myself.. 🛡because I am free…
because I am positive.

This site helps many.
HG does not toy with his readers.
He helps them.
This site has a meaningful purpose and many people here benefit.

I know that people who have been targeted by a Narc are called victims. I have been thinking about that. I don’t think of myself as a victim, I think I made bad choices. I don’t care your a Narc. What I care about, is making wiser decisions from what I have learned.

Here’s how I look at it: we’re never gonna cross paths with HG in real life, so he can’t ever hurt us, even emotionally. None of us will get that opportunity. Having said that, this does make him ‘safe’ for us to engage.

If having a playful flirtation with a sociopath online (aka the of the ‘bad’ guys) helps any of us forget the losers with whom we were involved, then so be it!

It’s like having a mafia don give tips on where hit the other mafia members. Just pretend like this is The Godfather and he is the stand in for Pacino’s role. Or maybe Goodfellas.

The assholes from my past will get zero fuel from me, and nor will any narcs in my present life. I don’t mind HG receiving fuel if it gets him to put his gifts to good use.

I will say, however, HG, you are so nice and polite and helpful that I sometimes forget about your dark side. But I have a dark side too…right? Right?

I’m totally addicted.. i transferred my addiction from my narc to.HG & this site – still working on why I find it so enthralling.. it’s awful.. traumabonding indeed.. but this is a much safer place to explore these feelings than w a narc in real life – bc yes, the interaction.via internet provides distance

Iris – We must be mindful of not tarring everyone with the same brush. Or generalizing. Many of us are neither addicted to, nor dependent upon HG. We must be mindful to not project how we ourselves feel, as an individual, onto others.

Hi iris…i can see what youre saying and maybe to some that may be the case but HG hasnt caused trauma so there is no trauma bonding. Addiction and dependancy maybe but not everyone on here is in danger of that. I think the fact HG is gone for spurts of time keeps that in check. Its a good reminder that this is online and not something to use as a crutch. That being said i find myself attached to this site but im here mainly for knowledge. The fact theres some fun humor and bantering is just a bonus to me. I in no way am codependant to this site or feel trauma bonded. To my narc thats another story.

I wouldn’t want HG turning up physically in my life and neither would I want to willingly engage with any Narcissist, but I know I’m not the only one who has gained so much insight from HG. So much! If HG offends you Julie, or if you have a problem with our comments, or believe our thinking must be flawed (Empaths would never make the excuse it’s because they’re Empaths, by the way) then go elsewhere for whatever it is you’re seeking. It’s that simple! It is not for you to judge others. Many of us have found freedom, thanks to HG.

If making his dick grow keeps him pumping out the information that allows people to come to the realization of what they are dealing with and get the information they need to escape those who are breaking their bones and shattering their souls in their own lives then sign me up.

All you offer is negativity without an alternative and could be flawed in your thinking. Also- you are on the internet and may not even be real

#icanteven ladies and gentlemen
If HG is real (cos yes we believe and trust all sources on the internet) you may not even be real….
Then you are heaping praise on a sociopath with psychopathic tendenancies… who destroys people
Literally enjoys hearing bones shatter and break
Sucking the life out of living beings for his own amusement…and survival if you find this attractive Then there is something fundamentally flawed in your thinking… dont blame it on being an empath.
Ladies find a man with narcissistic traits not with a personality dissorder, you know like a guy that spends more time in bathroom grooming than you do.. but has a heart.. HG when you say the word “us” i tend channel Ed Gein, and chase you with a chainsaw its annoying…. no offense but why that one word???
Im not saying youre not a great fictional writer or that i havent learnt from you…..about the topic and of you…. but christ almighty when someone praises you i can literally feel your penis grow!! I am hoping for you its not small

Julie, although HG probably is a real man (who could know for sure?), for me he stays ‘fictive’. Do not take all the communication here serious. HG and the commenters are not going to meet each other in real life. I would not engage in any relationship with a narcissist again (if I knew he was a narc), I perfectly well know what they are capable of.
By the way, if my date would spend more time in the bathroom grooming than I do, there would be no following date.
I don’t know about HG’s penis, to be honest I don’t even wanna think about it, but in return for his good lessons we are kind to him and sometimes flirt a little. I see no harm in that, as long as he does not show up at my frontdoor.

Can you provide accurate information that HG does? If people are thankful so be, if they flirt some here with him and he flirts back so the hell what, this isn’t catch a date with a sociopathic narcissist, This is a site that provides an insight into the ways they think and how to protect yourself from being ensnared again. Oh and let’s not forget many find support amongst those here that actually understand.
Can you provide this to the millions?

If you do not like HG that is your right. I wonder thou if a little jealousy isn’t in the mix.
Are you a man with penis envy? I mean you said you literally feel his grow.

Whenever I find (here or on any other blog )offensive comments such as yours, I always try to find some counterarguments v.s. some possible valuable statements.

But I must say that I could not find ANY single statement on what you wrote here which is worth doing it: no substance, no message, no evidence, no force, no contents, no context, no aim, no meaning:
Nada.
It is what is called a monumental embarrassing failure. I think there is a worldwide word to define it : a fiasco.

It is really very embarrassing to read comments such as yours. Of what I have read here up to now: yours broke the record.