It is my firm belief that the internet needs to be banned immediately. Look at all the crimes committed with the use of the internet! If there were no internet, they would be no rampant child pornography, or for that matter, no easy access to all kinds of pornography. There would be no Nigerian prince-type fraud, or at least it would be much more difficult to perpetrate such crimes. No one would be pirating music or software, they would have to go back to doing it the old fashioned way, making copies at their own computer and mailing them to friends. The post office would not be going bankrupt because no one could send emails to one another. In short, think of all the jobs that could be saved, children that could be protected, and money that could be earned by companies in the music and software business if the internet wasnt around. Therefore, I wish to start a movement to ban all use of the internet by all people everywhere because it is an evil tool. Below is my official document:

WHEREAS the internet is used in the commission of crimes,
WHEREAS the internet is used for the propagation of illegal types of pornography,
WHEREAS the internet is full of sexual predators,
WHEREAS the internet is responsible for the piracy of music and software,
WHEREAS the internet is causing the post office to go bankrupt,

we hereby demand the immediate confiscation of all internet protocol devices, all devices capable of accessing the internet, and the immediate termination of the worldwide system of computers that make up the entity commonly referred to as the internet.