Archives

Archive for the ‘guru’ Category

Like a lot of you, one of my goals this year was to work on my confidence. Some of my peers thought this was odd because they consider me to be a confident woman. And I am…in some areas of my life. However, I believe confidence is more than one’s overall state. A person can be a confident driver, copywriter, cook or accountant, but a complete wreck when it comes to speaking in public. Another can be confident in one-on-one situations, but nervous in crowds. So confidence isn’t just, “Oh that person is super confident.” It’s about building confidence in the area or areas where you lack it, but wish you had it.

What you might find interesting, though, is that it’s in the areas where I am most confident that I’m actually working on building my confidence even more. That’s the thing. Confidence can make you complacent. You’re all comfy and secure in your awesomeness in some areas of life, that you don’t push yourself — your growth and limits — in these areas. So, what does this mean? How do you build confidence?

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Yes, I know that sounds like an oxymoron. “How am I supposed to build confidence if I’m purposely pushing myself into extremely uncomfortable zones?” My answer is probably best explained by using an example. How will you ever overcome a fear of flying and become a confident flyer if you avoid flying? You won’t. You can’t become confident without getting on a plane and confronting that fear.

Knowledge is Power

You must prepare. Whether that means hiring a coach, taking a class, reading up on the subject — you must arm yourself with knowledge. Yes, there will always be someone out there smarter than you in whatever area, but it isn’t about that. It’s about understanding what you’re up against, what you have to look forward to, and then digesting it all so that you can make the most informed choices and actions suited to the area in which you want to build confidence.

Surround Yourself with People Confident in the Area You’re Looking to be Confident in Yourself

Not the shortest section sub-head, but you get my point. I know people who shy away from the fellowship of like-minded individuals because they are afraid that those people they admire will see that they lack the very skill they are trying to hone. Poppycock. If someone that you supposedly admire looks down their nose at you for this, you’re admiring the wrong person. From my experience, people who are confident themselves are more than willing to share their knowledge, point you in the right direction, and rejoice with you when you succeed.

So forget the myths about confidence. You are confident in some area of your life. Hold on to that feeling, remember how you got that way, and take the steps (outside your comfort zone) to get there again. Always be working on this. Don’t get complacent. The world moves too fast to kid yourself into thinking you know it all about any subject.

When you are starting your business and you’re trying to pay the bills and get your name out there…but mainly trying to pay the bills, you feel you have to take anyone who wants to work with you.

That’s desperation…and it shows.

It shows in how you chase the calendar, and how you chase the phone calls, and how you chase the emails to try to close a sale.

When you decide to set standards and only work with those people who know the value of investing in themselves, who are committed to nothing short of excellence in their work and for their dreams, and who want to change the world with their gifts, you feel like you can move mountains.

That’s inspiration…and it shows.

It shows in what you post, in what you blog, in the conversations you engage in on and offline. You shine and lean back into the work…your purpose.

Notice how I didn’t say that everyone has to be the “ideal” client. “Ideal” can me misinterpreted as “perfect.” And, it’s a fact that you’ll learn more from high maintenance clients than you will from the ones who sprout daisies from their tush.

However, you do decide. You ultimately get to choose how you represent yourself, and you get to choose which clients you want to represent your world and your body of work.

I am lucky enough to have learned this lesson out of the gate. I hired a coach who taught me this immediately, and I listened to the coaching. It’s that simple.

I am attracting exactly the kinds of clients I dreamed about when I started this crazy adventure. I get to work with design and branding superstar, Michelle Ghilotti, body and business transformation coach, Amanda Moxley, best-selling author and all around bad ass, Jen Sincero. I get to help shape campaigns that I know are going to change the world, like Natalie Kling’s Eat & Grow Rich.

I seriously have to pinch myself sometimes when I think back to the days when I thought I’d have to take just any client because I needed the money. It isn’t true.

She’s back on the blog, and this time, it’s personal. I mentioned in a previous blog post about my experience in Jen Sincero’s Nonfiction Book Proposal In A Week Bootcamp, and how I was floored by her aprroach and style, the materials provided, the caliber and encouragement of the group, as well as what I actually got accomplished. (more…)