Dear Michael: Housewife seeks employment

Friday

I haven’t worked in eight years, what will I do? I’ve applied for jobs that I’ve seen in the paper, but I’ve gotten nowhere. Am I too old? Or has eight years made me antiquated in the job market?

Dear Michael,

I had my first child 11 weeks ago – a perfect, beautiful, little girl. I’m supposed to go back to work next week, but I don’t think I’m ready. How am I supposed to put a 12-week-old baby in day care five days a week? Any advice?

Signed,
New Momma
Dear Momma,

Looks like you’re not going back to work! I suggest a very tight budget. Make a list of things you can do without. This is the price you pay to raise your own child.

Love, Your Diva,
Michael
Dear Michael,

I’m an unemployed housewife and have been for eight years. But in these financial hard times and economic difficulties, I have to go back to work. It’s been almost a decade since my income mattered to this household. The problem is, since I haven’t worked in eight years, what will I do? I’ve applied for jobs that I’ve seen in the paper, but I’ve gotten nowhere. Am I too old? Or has eight years made me antiquated in the job market?

Signed,
Unemployed
Dear Unemployed,

The only thing antiquated is your approach in looking for a job. Any good job is gone before it hits the newspaper -- a computer is how you find a job today. I suggest you narrow your focus and use headhunters and employment agencies. They only get paid when they find you a job, so they want to work to get you to work. It’s a win-win situation.

Love, Your Diva,
Michael
Dear Michael,

My brother and I are very close. We share so many of the same interests, and we are only a year apart in age. He’s always been my best friend. I recently found out he and his girlfriend have been smoking pot. I know this is true because she told me. She thinks we're buddies, but we’re not. I don’t appreciate her smoking pot with my brother. She confided in me, and told me not to tell anyone. So I can’t tell! So will you please print this in the newspaper? My mom reads it every week. If she reads this, she’ll know what’s going on without me actually telling her.

Signed,
Tattle Tale
Dear Tattle,

Of course I will put it in the paper, but avoiding responsibility or conflict is not very responsible. When the article is printed, clip it out and put it on the tray you will use to serve your mother breakfast in bed with. This will open the lines of communication, but it is up to you to take advantage and talk.

Love Your Diva,
Michael

Michael Serode is the owner/operator of Salon Serode in Pembroke, Mass., and your divine advice columnist. Send questions to salonserode@aol.com.

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