As bad as expected, but at least it’s laughable

Released around this time of the year where it’s known to be the garbage dump period for Hollywood, most seasoned moviegoers would probably take one look at Gods of Egypt‘s trailer and say, “Nope, no way in hell I would sit through yet another Clash of Titans/Wrath of Titans or I, Frankenstein-like horse crap” while longtime anime/manga fans would think that it ripped off Saint Seiya. And then there are also those who complained about the inaccurate racial and ethnic casting. Well, none of them are wrong, but expect the worst and you might just enjoy the film for its silliness.
Directed by Alex Proyas (Knowing, I, Robot) and written by the duo of poop (The Last Witch Hunter, Dracula Untold), the film’s title is pretty much self-explanatory — the story’s (sort of) based on ancient Egyptian mythology but in the most confusing way (like what happens to Gods who die?) — with a typical throne-conflict plot — when Horus the God of Sky (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is just about to be crowned as the new king by his father Osiris, his evil uncle, Set (Gerard Butler) the God of Dessert and Storm, who has daddy issues, usurps the throne and there it begins the exiled Horus’ RPG video game-like journey to defeat Set with the help of a mortal named Bek (Brenton Thwaites), thief who needs Horus to revive his dead girlfriend Zaya (Courtney Eaton).

By just looking at the opening scene here it transitions from prologue narration to live action sequence, it’s clear that the visual effects aren’t going to be fantastic. Gods here can transform into their battle form like in Saint Seiya but the CGI of that is perhaps only as good as the visuals in Legend of Sanctuary, the 3D animated film of Saint Seiya. Well actually, it already shows in the trailers. So besides its storyline and cliches, the CGI and dialogues are very much like video games, but with worse character development.

Due to the rushed pacing and executions of the film, I was unable to feel attached to any of the characters and hence I care little about their well being during their struggles in the lame CGI-heavy action sequences or why everyone simply gives up and bow to Set as soon as he kills Osiris. The film does not give you much to root for or hate. To begin with, none of the characters are decent. Horus, the hero, is a prince who seems to do nothing other than enjoying his existence. Bek is a thief. Zaya believes in Horus for no reason given, but at least she has the looks and racks to keep some eyes on the screen. The actors score a B for being charismatic when delivering corny lines, but an F in actual acting, especially during dramatic sequences where they all reminded me of Logan Lerman’s deadpan performance as Percy Jackson.

However, despite all that, it would be a lie to say that I had zero fun watching this film. It’s not because “it’s so bad it’s good”. But instead, more like it’s so bad it’s still bad but at least there are some stupid humour, interesting Egyptian mythology, video game and anime-like action (CG monsters and Gods flying around and shit), and objectified gorgeous ladies that somewhat prevented the two hours from being difficult to sit through.

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What I would’ve named the film: “Egyptian Thor”

Malaysia censorship: The violence is so… PG13 so I doubt anything needs to be censored for the public.

To watch in 3D? I didn’t watch it in 3D, but if you’d like to see poor visual effects popping out the screen, feel free to do so.

Second opinion: My friend Joel was initially excited to watch the movie after seeing its trailer, but after the screening, he said, “What a bad movie.”