Innocent Bystanders

What Do You Think This Is? December 14, 2007

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking: “Holy shit! Some demented weirdo cut a cow and her calf in half and pickled them in a tank, and this is the police photo documenting the heinous crime. And Michael [you are thinking] is one sick son of a bitch for posting this freakish picture.”

You are wrong to think such things. That, my uncouth friends, is an important work of Art.

Note the hot chick behind the tank. You can tell that she’s ordinarily just a shallow coquette, because her scarf teasingly conceals her cleavage. However, at this exact moment her rapt expression signifies that she is having an epiphonic experience as she groks the Art.

LONDON – Multimillionaire English artist Damien Hirst said on Thursday he was donating four major works to Britain’s Tate Gallery, including a sliced and pickled cow and calf.

It is the first time Hirst, who recently sold a diamond-encrusted skull for $100 million, has made a major donation to a museum.

“It means a lot to me to have works in the Tate. I would have never thought it possible when I was a student,” he said.

I saw Michelangelo’s David in Florence. Note the freakishly large gnarly hands. Some professor in college told me the reason why Michelangelo deliberately made the hands so big, but I have forgotten it. It probably signifies that he’s about to kill Goliath or something (David is holding a sling over his shoulder).

An English professor told me that the word was used as sort of a password. Oh shit, I forget who the other people were, but they couldn’t pronounce it properly so if spies or infiltrators used it they’d be caught.

“Shibboleth” is in Hebrew and another Semitic language (Samaritan?). The Hebrews pronounced it one way, and the other Semites pronounced it another way. Thus, one could tell which group a person belonged to based on how he pronounced “shibboleth”.

The reason the he had extra large hands (and an extra large head too) is because he was going to be mounted on top of the Duomo Cathedral in Florence along with a bunch of other statues. Since he would be so high up (and far away from the onlooker), his hands and head were made bigger so you could notice them. They wouldn’t have looked so big from far away. David is not really meant to look at from so close like he is. Michelangelo would have probably been embarrassed by the way he is shown currently.

Daveintexas:
You want to see some really cool art? Check these out:

Pieta – Michelangelo

Daphne and Apollo – Bernini

There is lots of good inspiring art, its just that all the garbage gets all of our attention.

Bernini is the stuff. Seriously, his David is far and away better than Michelangelo’s.

The “shibboleth” thing turns on the Hebrew letter “shin,” which can make either a “sh” or a “s”, depending on whether it has a daghesh (a little dot in the middle). As Musli explained, it was used to identify one group, but not spies. They were traitors who wouldn’t join the Hebrews in battle against their enemies. It was far too early for the Samaritans — I’m thinking the story is in the Book of Judges. And I’m racking my brains to remember who the people were, and drawing a blank.

The point is that the word was either created or chosen (i don’t remember) because the other party couldn’t pronounce it.

The word was chosen. “Shibboleth” refers to flowing water (Strong H7642b) and was used to identify Ephraimite traitors at the fords crossing the Jordan (thanks to Sobek for pointing at Judges 12):

(Judges 12:5-6 NIV) The Gileadites captured the fords of the Jordan leading to Ephraim, and whenever a survivor of Ephraim said, “Let me cross over,” the men of Gilead asked him, “Are you an Ephraimite?” If he replied, “No,” they said, “All right, say ‘Shibboleth.'” If he said, “Sibboleth,” because he could not pronounce the word correctly, they seized him and killed him at the fords of the Jordan. Forty-two thousand Ephraimites were killed at that time.

For those who are interested, the shibboleth is alive and well, or at least it was in pre-revolutionary Russia.

My great-aunt was accosted, during a pogrom in their little town in what is now the Ukraine, by a big Cossack type on horseback with a sack of loot over one shoulder and a saber in the other hand.

Briefly, he said to her (and the story was always told to me orally, so I may have the spelling wrong):

“Say, cucu ruse!”

(whatever the hell that means)

The point is, Jews in that time and place would not be accustomed to the “r” sound in “ruse” but would say something like “cucu khhuse.” And be slaughtered, or have whatever happen to them.

But my auntie was top of her class at the gymnasium (what they called the local gifted school – how she got admitted is another story) and her Russian was perfect , so she looked right up at him and trilled,

“Cucu rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuse!”

The villain grumbled, what was it, “E dik chort” (go to the devil) and rode off to rob the next house.

So … ?

Well, you had to hear her tell it. ‘Fraid she isn’t here anymore so you have to settle for my version.

During World War II the Dutch underground would have people they had their doubts about their true identity pronounce ‘Schreveningen’ — the name of a beach near Den Haag . Pronounce it correctly and you were Dutch, mispronounce it and you were German.

I don’t know about back then, but nowadays tops are optional for the ladies and Schrevenigen is a popular destination and I have to guess it isn’t because of the balmy North Sea water temperatures.

Sobek, I’d say Bernini’s David is different, not better, just as Donatello’s David also captures a different aspect of the shepherd king. I don’t think you can really compare the two (or three), because the moment that each artist was trying to capture was totally different. Bernini’s is slightly more to my taste, but that doesn’t mean Michelangelo’s isn’t also a great work of art.

And yes, we have made our reservations at the Galleria Borghese. I can’t wait.

Michelangelo’s is too static. The technique is flawless, of course, but there’s no energy to it.

My favorite Michelangelo piece is the Pieta’. Compare it to other Pietas and you can instantly see his solution to the akwardness of a woman holding a fully-grown man is ingenious. And he avoids the problem I have with a lot of Catholic art, of trying to substitute gore for emotion.

I suppose Massachusettsians could do the same thing with Gloucester and Worcester.

I had a customer in MA (Christmas Tree Shops) who was opening a store in Worcester. I flew into Boston and was renting a car for the drive to Worcester. I asked the rental car clerk for direction to ‘Warcester’. After a puzzled look and me writing the name for her we agreed I needed to go to ‘Wooster’. lol!

utter fukin shit… and a disgrace that this cunt gets to be rich…
sum people work thier guts out, grow crops, build houses.. only to get split-arses like hirst getting all the luxury…
Hirst… ure a fukin disgrace, and if i ever see u, i’ll crack ure skull.

actually.. i’m not sure who’s worse… maybe its them hob-nobbers at the tate for makeing a mountain out of a slop of dung.
better a lazy hippie getting the dough than those stuffy morons.. still..
i hope he actually does sumthing worthwhile with his oh so easily aqcuired millions..

The piece is called “Mother and Child Divided.” It’s supposed to show the mother and child separated, with their life like external characteristics still very real. Then it shows them divided so that you get the realization of their deaths.

It’s not stupid that Damien Hirst makes so much money because this is his life’s work. Sure, he may make a lot of money by selling pieces to personal collections, but he didn’t make any money by donating this and three other pieces to the Tate Gallery. Don’t be ignorant and threaten him when you obviously don’t understand.