The days of peace-loving, dharma quoting hippies are largely over, today surfers are more likely to be angry flexers, guzzling caffeinated sports drinks and protein powders, training in the dark arts of choking foes...

Did you sell a kidney and order one of those Aviso carbon thingies? or maybe you put down payment on the jet-board SUP? or… are you basically riding exactly the same shizzum (albeit wider nosed, shorter, flatter) as...