The big thing in Las Vegas, and perhaps an extension of their trashiness, are these decadent buffets. There are <a href=”http://www.lasvegasdirect.com/topbuffet.html”>rankings and some serious competition among the hotels for the best food feast</a>. Access to the buffets is not exclusive in that non-hotel guests can go to the buffet. So, in short: You aren’t limited to the shitty buffet in your hotel and can easily head over to another hotel. It all sounds a little stupid because it is stupid.

Though <a title=”Who said I had to tip room service?” href=”http://130Greene.com/2012/06/26/who-said-i-had-to-tip-room-service/”>I stayed at the LVH Las Vegas</a>, I quickly checked out and left to visit the Aria’s buffet. It was recommended through a friend and a self-considered “Las Vegas buffet expert” so I really trusted them. I ate the world, but literally: the buffet offered world cuisines with great sushi, naan, hummus, Italian pizza and pasta, and then an exorbitant amount of treats and crepes and wow magic bars. I was blown away and I couldn’t stop.

The sad and pathetic part is that, about an hour in, I was away from the table grabbing more food and the waiters had assumed, given all of the empty plates, that I was done and proceded to clean the table. They were shocked and sincerely apologetic when I returned – two big plates in hand – to the empty table and instantly served me another Diet Coke. I ate all of that and ended the meal with a strawberry gelato. I tipped very generously as I felt terrible that they’ve had to refill my Diet Coke and clean at least twelve plates over the two hours.