Thursday, 4 September 2008

Lesson

The happy family Grit and Dig spend the morning mooching gently about the summer broads, accompanied by the beating of dragonfly wings, the rippling ping-ping-ping of jumping crickets, and the grating of Tiger's feet, rasping against the gravel like a cheese grater on parmesan.

Tiger is fed up with walking. And she is complaining. She says it is not fair because I forced her to the top of a drainage windpump. Pah! Forced her!

OK. I admit it, I did. I forced her. Not exactly tied her arms together, strapped gaffer tape over her mouth and stood behind her with a pointed stick, but I appealed to reason and, when that failed, added gentle persuasion. Like if you stay down here on the ground, alone, that Chihuahua with a nasty glint in its eye will savage you to death.

And I know, Tiger, that a drainage windpump in the middle of a flat field of nothingness does not sound very exciting unless you are male, aged 55, living at home with your mother and, in the shed, part-way through a 25-year project to build a scale-model drainage windpump out of matchsticks and belly button fluff, but there is one thing you must understand. We home educators are legally bound to educate you. Now do you want to find out about the digging of the broads and the pumping of the fens from a black and white photograph of a windpump in a 1978 geography book, which incidentally you must share with 25 other people, and which has the words Curtis is a c*** crayoned on page 2? Or would you like to climb to the top of that windpump, feel your heart beat as you wait for those sails to turn in the storm, and listen to daddy Dig tell you stories of peat, wind, water and engines? See that Chihuahua?

Anyway, I tell her, this afternoon you can sit down all you want, because there is a happy band of home educators booked on a boat trip along the broads where you are going to look at birds and do nature studies, science, wildlife and educational activities, like tick a sheet then whoop with delight that you saw a swan.

Well, this is where I also discover there must be some secret balance to the universe, because for my hubris and misdeed this morning in forcing Tiger up the windpump, I am now roundly and justly punished. With nearly three hours on board a boat where I am locked in and cannot get off.

I could feel the rising panic set in as I crossed from one world to the next; from land to water via the gangplank, to that special part of floating hell called a Norfolk Broads boat trip.

The full horror of what was about to happen really struck me when the access to land was lifted away and we set off, listening to the monotone of Roger, who was steering. After five minutes of staring at a grebe's rear end I suddenly realise what I want to do with the rest of my life. It is never step on another boat as long as I live. After fifteen minutes of being hypnotised by water I realise there are no more grebes, no more lovely ducks or swans, just hours and hours of grey water and reeds at less than three miles an hour. And I cannot get off until it is over.

And I do not know what it is about boat trips, but within moments they close down the essential valves of my soul, sending it into complete torpor, boredom and stupidity. I am rendered helpless, powerless, miserable at the whim of Roger at the helm, and all I can do is stare at the water, dribble, and wish it were all over.

Tiger, on the other hand, is enjoying every minute of this aquatic experience, and is happily counting up grebes far and near.

Shark too is delighted and thinks being this close to a grebe's backside is the best thing ever.

And here is Squirrel's face when she is told there are another two and a quarter hours to go.

Tiger knew with her drainage windpump that pumping engines are probably not for her. But it has taken me years, and several boat trips, to discover I am one of those people who loathe boat trips.

One small child, aged all of four, already has wisdoms and knowledges far beyond mine. With an hour to go, he descends into his mother's arms, writhing and kicking; throwing his head left to right to left to right and yelling with all his might GET ME OUT OF HERE! And really, I cannot resent him for it. Because he is expressing what is screaming from my soul.

And next time, with an eye to the balancing scales of justice, and all the punishments available to the universe, I might just meet Tiger eye to eye and say 'Windpump? You don't fancy the windpump? Well that's OK. So long as I don't have to do the boat trip.'

I hate boats too. For my 40th birthday DH and I (with NO sons in tow) went via the car ferry from Portsmouth to Caen to spend a week in Normandy and Brittany. Overnight crossing, Deluxe cabin both ways, calm seas, complimentary hamper of goodies, and where did I pass the time? Up on deck in the open air because I couldn't stand being shut in below-decks! And, no I am not normally claustrophobic. Never doing that again even if we ever came back to the UK. Think this also means no luxury cruising round the Med either.

Other stuff

We have educated triplet girls to age 16 by never sending them to school.

At age 16, one daughter is now at 6th form for A levels, so you can find out about culture clash.

The other two daughters are taking a year to think what they want to do next, because we run at our own pace.If you are looking for primary, try the archives under 2011 or 2012. Ideas? Try Seven days with elephants.

Secondary home ed? Try 2012 or 2014 through to 2016.

Exams made life boring for us all and the blog stopped for long periods so the home educated could concentrate on enjoying some teens.

From 2016, expect the blog to start concentrating on me, me, me, because it's my turn.

Home ed style: Secular, philosophical, eclectic, autonomous.

Exams: own choice IGCSE courses. The HE-exams group is a must-join. I gave formal lessons in nothing.

where is everybody?

This blog is a record of a home educationwrit for parents thinking about home edwrit for the LA who need an education about home edwrit for Grit's friends and relations who drop in once a yearand writ for Grit's sane and lovely mind.

The internal DCSF Consultation Report, made public 23 January. (pdf)In Annex A, 94% of respondents disagreed that the local authority should have the power to interview a home educated child alone.When this comes out Ed Balls' mouth in the Second Reading Debate, 94% against turns to:'The vast majority of parents would be happy to let that happen'(Hansard 11.01.10, Children, Schools and Families Bill, col 437.)

Love it or loathe it? The petition still broke a record.Press release in the Mirror, Channel4 news, the Guardian.

'Even if you don't currently see yourself home educating, you never know what the future might hold, and if a time comes when you find yourself needing to pull your child out of school, I hope the option is still available to you, and you don't regret thinking *it's nothing to do with me*.'

Read the Right to Reply'Home educators are renowned for their strong opinions and independent spirit. They come from all faiths and none. They have as many approaches to education as there are children. They rarely agree on anything. And yet they are remarkably united in their opposition to these proposals. There is great concern that their way of life will be legislated out of existence.'--Response to the Badman Review of Elective Home Education in England and reaction to the Select Committee hearing.

The problem with home educators is that they are impossible to define. The only things that links them is respect for their children. And did the state just stagger foolishly across that line?Are we sandal wearing tree huggers who let our kids run wild or control mad Jesus freaks who don't want them learning about sex and evolution? Are we hot housing or leaving them to watch TV and play computer games all day? -Firebird.The UK government suggested that we home educate our children to cover up our abuse.On that issue, would you like some statistics?

'The Department [for Children, Schools and Families] is aware that attempts are being made on the Internet to vilify and harass the author of the review. It is the Department's view that, whilst dealing with each request on its merits, this situation will have to be taken into account in dealing with any relevant FOI requests. ... we anticipate the need to consider whether it is in the public interest to release information likely to intensify any such campaign, or to lead to harassment or distress to individuals.'Hello DCSF. Vilify: to make vicious and defamatory statements about.Like putting it about that home educated children are abused by their parents? Isolated? Unsocialised? Denied an education?And the latest one, that their mothers have Munchhausen's Syndrome by Proxy, and benefit from their child's suffering.

... compulsory registration, entry to the home, inspection according to external standards, and power to see the child without the parent present.By implication this applies to anyone who has their child at home with them: particularly parents with under 5s, but also those with school-aged children who are at home in the evenings, over the weekends, and throughout the summer holidays. Think on: the possibility of parental inspection, with or without your presence, based on the very human whim of a local authority officer.Is that okay with you?Renegade Parent on the implications for all parents from the Badman review of home education.

'Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children'.(Universal Declaration of Human Rights, 1948, Article 26.3)

Photos and text copyright Grit.This is Grit's blog. The pictures come from her broken phone camera, and they are hers by right.

The words too are Grit's, Grit's, all Grit's. This is not to say you cannot use any words that Grit uses - after all, she is the unhinged woman who once banned SOIL - but you just cannot lift them in the long, complex and lovely arrangements, like the ones Grit has writ.

Please ask! If you wish to take images from this site, please send an email to gritsday@gmail.com

Keywords you may need for grit's day

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