Claire's quest for a designer handbag

I thought I should start a diary as I'm hoping it will keep me on track.

A bit about me

I'm 39 and have 2 son's 1 is 13 and the other is 4 1/2 both have special needs and on top of that I have a job so have quite a hectic life.

I need to lose about 6 stone, 4 years ago I did Cambridge for 142days without a blip and lost 102lbs. almost 4 years to the day I've gained exactly that back. I know why, I have an incredibly stressful life and it's easier to grab a chocolate bar or takeaway at the end of a long day.

But thats no excuse, My mum has huge heath problems all relating to her weight as did my grandparents and on top of that I smoke as well. I'm a disaster waiting to happen and I have 2 children who need me so I'm taking action whilst it's not too late.

So on Monday of this week I took action. I thought long and hard about going back to CD but realised that 1, I'm too ashamed to contact my CDC and 2 I really really hated the shakes, soups and bars so I'm not sure it's the right thing to add more pressure by not liking the things I put into my mouth and feel that I'm likely to use that as a reason to fail.

So I'm doing a sort of celebrity slim/CD 820 diet, I like the shakes and I get to have a small meal in the evening of lean meat and veg,with a snack bar in the afternoon at my trigger point where I reach for chocolate. I know myself well and know that I am an all or nothing person I can't do a diet where there's too much leeway and seeing the scales drop by a pound a week for almost 2 years is too daunting a task for me.

So I started last monday and so far so good I've dropped 10lbs and have stuck to this 100%, I'm being realistic and I know that I can only stick to it during term time as having both the children home can take a lot of work and can be very frustrating but I'm determined to stick to it on the days I can and be better on the days I can't .

I'm also hoping that by keeping a diary I can try to pinpoint what my triggers are so that I can keep the weight off this time so I'm not back posting the same thing in 4 years time.

So thats it really, I hope some of you will come on here to chat to me as I'm making some me time so I can have a few moments to myself and reply to posts.

The title of this thread is simple I'm 40 next year and I'm going to London for a girly weekend with some friends and if I've lost my weight, I'm off to a posh handbag shop to treat myself to a proper designer handbag!

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