Struggling Single Christian

Sunday, January 22, 2012

As a teacher and as a Christian I want to be supportive of my students (actually all students of the school). I want them to know that I care about them. I want to be visible to them outside of the school walls. Therefore I try to attend extra-curricular activities, especially sporting events, as much as possible.

Yesterday I went to some basketball games that students were playing in. The first couple of games included students that I teach everyday. I love being there to cheer them on! Often when they see me, they say hello and/or wave to me. I also went to a game for younger students. I had a parent tell me that he really appreciated that I was there to support the students (he had also seen me at the earlier games, as his daughter played in one and he was the coach). He made sure that his younger daughter told me thank you for coming to her game. It really made me feel like I was doing something good.

Then today I got another thank you from a parent (her daughter was on the younger team and her husband coached). She said that after the game a bunch of the girls were talking about how I was there! They just thought it was really cool! She said how much she appreciates it! I told her that I love watching the students play and try to see all the different teams play at least once (I am going to more games next weekend for some teams I haven't seen play yet).

The impact of those thank-yous were pretty big! It really made me feel like I am doing something important! In the past I have had someone within the school question my commitment and my priorities. I just wish this person could hear all the thank yous that I get in circumstances like this. While lesson planning and grading are important parts of being a teacher, I also think that showing students that I care about them (especially about them as more than just bodies in the classroom) is an important part of my vocation!

So I guess in response to those thank yous I say "You're welcome" and thank you for recognizing my dedication and commitment to the students and their families.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Wow! Two posts in one day....within less than an hour. You must be thinking wow!!

Well I wanted to just say thank you to those of you who read my blog and leave encouraging comments! I had realized before how many comments and encouraging words people have left for me. It really means a lot to me and will provide me further motivation to write on here more frequently.

It has been a really, really long time since I wrote on here. At least a year and a half....not sure if anyone is even going to see this......

I've decided to write on here again because a couple of my friends on Facebook have blogs and they have recently mentioned them. That got me thinking about how I haven't written on here in a while. Lots of stuff has happened....yet some things have stayed the same.

As my blog title says, I have my struggles....some are new, some are not. I have had my struggles with my vocation over the past year. Things changed a lot this school year. I am teaching less classes....and helping in other ways instead (some of it by my choice, some not). I don't want to go into a lot of specifics on here, but let's just say it has been an adjustment for sure. I have spent a lot of time thinking about next year. Decisions are upon me and uncertainty awaits. It is hard to not knowing what is going to be happening over the next few months....at times I feel ready for it...other times I dread it. It is really just a big mixture of emotions.

Two months ago today, my maternal grandfather passed away from throat cancer. He was first diagnosed about a year ago. He underwent radiation and the treatment had worked. Then in September, they found out that he had a tumor again. His only option for treatment was surgery. It would have taken out his voice box and included a long recovery. Because my grandfather was 86 years old, he decided against surgery. He wanted to spend the last days, weeks, or months of his life at home on the farm. Hospice came in to help my grandmother take care of him. My brother and his family from New Mexico and I were planning on making a quick trip up to Minnesota for Thanksgiving to see him (in case something happened before Christmas). The Monday before Thanksgiving (we were going to get there on Wednesday) I received a phone call from my mom late at night (about 11pm). My grandfather had passed away that evening. So instead of getting to see my grandfather at Thanksgiving, we were there for his funeral. It was a good funeral and I know that he is now in heaven, free from pain. We have said, that I guess Grandpa wanted to make it convenient and cheaper for us.

I will leave it on that note tonight. Perhaps I will come back again soon.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The past couple of weeks have been difficult for me. Two weeks ago something happened school related that really made me feel defeated. I'm not going to go into it a lot on here, but let's just say that it didn't leave me with a lot of self confidence in my abilities as a teacher. I really felt like someone had lost their confidence in my ability to do my job.

Tonight has also been difficult, because I've been thinking of that fact that I don't get to see any of my family for thanksgiving. Holidays can be a difficult time for me because my family is so far away. I know that I have been blessed with so much and that I get to see my family at Christmas, but it's hard to remember that when I see peoples' statuses/comments on Facebook about seeing family. Thankfully I was invited somewhere for Thanksgiving. It would have been much, much harder had I not been invited anywhere (like I was my first Easter here).

Tonight as I was watching a "Biggest Loser" special, I kept telling myself that I need start working out again! I cannot let myself keep going down this road. I've gained weight since the school year started and I need to reverse that. I guess you could say that I was having a "pity party" for myself. I was thinking about all the things I'm struggling with-my weight, never having been kissed or in a relationship, being away from family, still being lonely, school stuff, needing a new car (but not being able to afford one), low self-esteem.

Thankfully I have a counseling appointment on Monday. I guess I'll have a lot to tell her.

I do know that I have SO MUCH to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!!! God has blessed me with so many wonderful things!!! I just need to remember that!!!!!!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I was actually looking forward to my weigh in yesterday; I felt like I had lost some weight. Well, I gained 0.2 pounds!! I gained! Now, it know it's not a lot, but I've been taking at least a 1 hour walk everyday except for Sunday! I've also been trying to eat better, more veggies and smaller portions of the "bad" stuff. I was kind of frustrated when that happened. Thankfully my supportive friend, told me not to give up! When I talked to her on the phone, she told me to keep it up! I think what my be deterring my weight loss is my lack of sleep. I haven't been getting enough sleep for the last few weeks. I'm probably averaging 5-6 hours a night. I need to be getting at least 7, hopefully 8. They say getting enough sleep helps with weight lose. Another friend reminded me that I'm probably gaining muscle. I just know that I need to keep working at it. I'm going to try and add some variety in my workouts by doing a walking DVD at least a couple of mornings a week, because it adds some muscle strengthening.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. It's been a while since I've even logged on and read some other blogs. I guess it just haven't "felt" like it the last few months. Don't ask me why. These past few days I've been thinking about the blogging world and decided that I want to start being a part of it again.

Here are some things that have been going on in my life lately:

The school year ended and I'm now preparing for the next one. We start 3 weeks from today. I have a lot to do in that amount of time. Things are going to be changing for me a little this year. I'm going to be teaching some different subjects (more social studies classes). I'm excited, because I love social studies, but it is going to take some extra planning at first.

My summer has gone by fast. I went "home" for a couple of weeks near the end of June and beginning of July. I spent time with my family. It was good to see my parents and spend some time with them. My mom and I got along pretty well while I was there. We only got into a heated "talk" a time or two, which is better than other times. I was awesome to see my brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew. The kiddos are growing so much and are as adorable as ever!! I just absolutely love them and wish that I could see them more often. The week that they were at my parents house we kept plenty busy, including spending time with the extended families. It was great!

The day after I returned down south, a friend from college came to visit. It was so great to spend some quality time with her. She decided that she wanted to help me clean my bedroom (since it was a major mess when she got here). She helped me do that and some other organizing/cleaning in my apartment. I've also started doing some more decorating. I've still got some stuff to finish up that we started while she was here.

This friend and I are working together to loss weight (she doesn't have as much to lose, since she's been on weight watchers for a few years). Every day we email each other what we ate that day and if we exercised any. We have been doing that for two weeks and in that two weeks I've lost about 2.5 pounds. I've been trying to workout pretty much everyday. In the last week and a half, I've went on a walk 9 times. At least 7 of these times I've walked for one hour (or more). I'm just hoping that I can keep up the working out once school starts. It's going to be tricky, since I won't have as much time in the morning to walk outside due to having to be at school on time. I think I'll have to start using my workout videos again. My short-term goal is to be down 7 lb more by labor day (that would be about 9 pounds total).

The rest of the summer I've been trying to relax and filling in some at summer camp at school. It's been nice to earn some extra money. Plus, if I have stuff to do occasionally, then I plan and manage my time better. I've spent some time with friends here, but not a ton. One friend has been gone one business part of the summer. The other friend has been going through a lot, so she's been traveling to see family and spending lots of time with her husband. At times, it's been hard and I have felt left-out. I know that this is just an emotional response. Logically and rationally I know that she's going through a lot (I talked with my counselor about this a lot at my last appointment).

Okay, it is time to email my friend what I ate today and then head to bed (read my book first, then sleep). I hope to come back again soon! Take care and God bless everyone!!
-Single Lutheran

Saturday, March 27, 2010

It's hard exactly put into words how I've been feeling lately. It seems like a lot of thoughts have been going through my head since the last time I wrote anything on here. I can remember thinking in the past few weeks "I should write something in my blog about this" but never actually getting around to it. I don't particularly like when that happens. Sometimes I think that happens with my therapy appointments. I think of stuff I could talk about in-between appointments, but then I can't always remember them when I actually go to the appointment. I'm just going to start somewhere and see here it takes me.

School-It has been kind of busy and crazy. A lot is going to be happening between now and the end of the school year. We've been back in school a week since spring break and it was a exhausting week just trying to get back into the swing of things. This following week is going to be busy too. I've just got tons of stuff going on.

Spring Break-I didn't go anywhere for break. I just stayed here and tried to get some work done. I did get some time to relax and work on some extra school-related stuff. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to (like my taxes, which I finally did on Thursday instead). It was kind of a lonely week because my two closest friends here were both gone (one was visiting family, the other was on a business trip). That made parts of my break very hard. I just didn't have a chance to really do anything socially. I just wish that I could reach out more to others, or that they would reach out to me more. I wish that I would have had enough money to go visit my brother and his family. Then I could have spent lots of time with my niece and nephew. I guess I'll just have to settle for seeing them this summer when I go visit my parents. At this point I don't think I'll be able to make a separate trip to New Mexico to visit them.

Friends-Do you ever feel like your best friends don't want to spend time with you? It seems like lately I've been feeling that way. It seems like my best friend down here and I don't do much together anymore. There are times when I would like to do something together, but so often she has other plans. I've been feeling like she's willing to take the time to make plans with other people but not with me. I know I can't expect to be able to do something with her all the time, it just seems like the amount of time we are able to spend together gets less and less. Another friend (one from college) is hopefully going to be moving closer to me this summer (only 4 1/2 hours away instead of 7). I'm hoping that this means we'll be able to see each other a bit more. I'm hoping that she'll come and visit me sometime, since she's only been here to see me once in the 3 years I've lived here (and that was for only about 12 hours). I do get frustrated though because she does take trips to other places and even mentioned something about going to visit a friend out in South Carolina this summer (which is probably at least 3 times farther than coming to visit me). I just feel like people don't see me as someone they really want to spend time with. I don't feel like I'm on their "priority" list. Thats a hard thing to deal with, when I so badly want to know that people care about me.

About Me

I'm a twenty-something single Lutheran. While I'm originally from the state of Minnesota, I now teach in the south central United States. I'm a teacher, who when I'm not busy with school and church activities, loves to read. I love spending time with my family, especially my niece and nephew. I love getting comments (who doesn't???). I thank God for the numerous blessings in my life, including my readers and followers!