Sunday, January 24, 2010

A new day

I woke up without a headache for the first time in ten days today. And I realised that I am so very lucky. Not just in the way of waking up to healthy body, wonderful family, and a warm home lucky... but lucky to be alive. Lucky to have my husband be alive. THAT type of lucky.

I want to share something with you all... I don't talk about it on here much for safety reasons... but my husband is a police officer. In a large, relatively violent city. This city, and the city's surrounding it have been hit hard with grief lately. I put together this video as part of our family video of our year.

Val, Thank you for posting your moving video memorial. It's a very small world. Our family lived in Lakewood for four years when my husband was stationed at Ft. Lewis. Our little ones were born in Tacoma. (We live overseas now....) I am one of those people who cries during the missing man formation and sometimes during the national anthem, but, through experience, I know all those tears are warranted. And that we all have a great deal to feel thankful for.Let God continue to bless you and yours.

Hopefully your physical ills become resolved. I hope you don't disregard any real issues that may not be attributed to stress (I tend to do that - it turned out my gall bladder needed to be removed, IMMEDIATELY).

My heart goes out to all of those police officers and their families. I can't even imagine what they must be going through. My husband is not a police officer but I am so thankful everyday when he comes home from work and walks through the door.

Thank you for your kind words. I didn't know how people would react... I get such mixed reactions when I talk about what my husband does.

All of these killings were within 30 miles of us. My husband had met the Lakewood officers on calls because they share a city boarder. The man who killed them lived 14 blocks from me. Officers in our state have had a black band across their badges since Halloween. And you don't keep them on after the memorial service of the fallen, so that means that someone has died about every three weeks for three months. This has killed my peace of mind and rocked me to the core. And I think that not being able to talk about it (here or IRL) has been the root of my health issues. I don't think they are serious (although thank you for the warning Antoinette) but I have delt with stress/health stuff before, so I don't think they are necessarily unrelated either.

Just before this incident (the first one on Halloween) we had our tires slashed. I posted about that, but deleated it because my dh asked me to. So I think this is the second time I have ever posted about it. Part of me wants to wear my husbands PD hat and shout at anyone who cares to even look at me funny, and the other part of me dreads sending my husband to work each day.

Anyhow... it has been on my mind to share this for a while. So thank you for the understanding and warm reception.

The video is awesome.Part of my family is part of a Police department also, so I understand what you mean about not knowing when to share the info. Sometimes it's better we be still and pray. We are praying for the Police every day around here. Your area seems to be on every departments minds.

(The other part of my bunch are Ironworkers - 100 stories in the air. We pray a LOT at my house!!)

Isn't that just one of the strangest things about blogging, that we share bits, but then often have to keep the most important parts quiet. And of course not being able to talk about all this pain and anxiety would affect your health. I am so sorry to hear about this. My thoughts are with you, your family, and your community. Thanks for daring to share your story.

I am always thankful when my hubby walks through the door. We always pray in this house for the men and women who protect our lives and our freedom. Thank you for sharing. Even if you end up deleting it....it feels good to get it off your chest, I bet. Many blessings to you and your wonderful family.

Val ~ what a moving movie. Thanks so much to you and your husband for the sacrifices you both make every day! I'm not so far away from you (Ocean Shores) where we are laying off officers and not replacing retired officers while our crime rates rise. It's scary and I have so much respect for our LEO's and their families. I hope sharing helps to heal your spirit. If you ever find your way to the beach, drop me a line :)

My friend Leigh has been reading your blog for a while and shared your recent entry. My husband is a Lakewood officer. He was working that day and is one of only two survivors. That was his crew and I know exactly what you are feeling.Interestingly enough, I remember hearing about your tires being slashed and you may remember hearing about my story.Our POV was fire bombed by gangsters at the end of July. My husband's patrol car and our driveway were tagged. The emotions are unexplainable to those that are not LE. My heart goes out to you and your family. We are all part of the same family and even though we haven't met, know that I care for you and yours like you were my own.Be well,Jenn