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How to break up for good

Whether you have been together for two weeks, two months or two years, breaking up is hard to do. And more often than not, it feels like you break up only to make up and then break up again. But fret not. If you are looking for a clean break the next time around, just follow these simple tips and make your breakup stick.

Plan aheadSudden breakups are hard to pull off. You are unprepared to deal with the situation and end up further messing it up. So, take the time to plan. Make a case for why things have to end. Solid reasoning may make it easier for your partner to handle the breakup. At the same time, it will prevent you from going back and forth in your head on whether you are doing the right thing.

Don’t idealise a relationship that had problemsWhen you are no longer with someone, it is easy to only remember the good times and forget the bad moments. In this case, remember why you decided to break up in the first place and how difficult things were while you were in the relationship.

Focus on yourself, not your partnerThere are times when you know the relationship is going nowhere, yet you think about getting back together with your ex because you feel guilty about hurting him. Avoid this situation. Don’t focus on your ex. Instead, focus on yourself and what you want from a relationship.

Set boundariesIf you are both looking for a clean break, you need to be on the same page on the rules of engagement. It may be something as simple as not calling each other every day or something as elaborate as unfollowing/blocking each other on social media.

Get some supportIf you and your ex spent a lot of time together, you will feel an immediate void when he is no longer a part of your life. At this point, it is easy to miss him and want to meet him. You can circumvent this problem by reconnecting with your friends, going on holidays or indulging in hobbies you never had the time for earlier. This way you won’t feel lonely and reminisce about the old times

Don’t get intimate with your exIf the breakup was amicable and you remain friends with your ex, avoid getting physical with him just because things are comfortable between you two or you are unhappy being single. It will just set you up for a harder heartbreak later and you may lose a friend in the bargain