Thursday, October 07, 2004

A question for you

You have the chance to meet someone with whom you can have the most satisfying love imaginable- the stuff of dreams. Sadly, you know that in six months the person will die. Knowing the pain that would follow, would you still want to meet the person and fall in love? What if you knew your lover would not die, but would betray you?

Yes, without even batting an eye or thinking twice. Love doesn't come around every day and eventually, the heart can heal itself...but I would say yes today and yes tomorrow. True love is too beautiful and precious to let go of so easily.

The knowing part is kind of a catch-22, especially with the betrayal. If you KNEW, it would probably prevent you from fully experiencing the love, I think. If you knew the person was going to die very soon, it could prevent you from being as attached, and therefore leaving you unfullfilled.

If I knew he would die? Maybe. I would enjoy knowing that I had enriched the last months of someone's life. Having lost dearly loved ones already I know that I can cope with the grieving process.

If I knew he would betray me? Never. I've been there before and there nothing more painful, more difficult to cope with.

Having said all that, I also believe that love is a both a short-term and long-term affair. Six months is nothing in the scope of a lifetime and, after five years, I find this stuff more heady and sublime than the heart-pounding early days when we were getting to know each other.

Ok, now seriously. I would seriously go through it, even though I know I wouldn't be miserable,... but the feeling would be more of a melancholic happiness. It'd be a bit ironic to feel a beautiful sadness when the person, for which I would've glady taken my own life away, ends up dying first.

It's been nearly two years since she left and I still wonder. The most intense love I've ever given or received, and a learning experience that opened my eyes to the possibilities, the human potential. To have had that, to know it exists, and to know (now) that I'll never see it again, and you want to know if it was worth it. I think so, and I believe that in maybe five or ten more years, I'll be certain it was worth it.

It's like performing open heart surgery on yourself without anesthesia - you get a glimpse of the wonder of your own beating heart, but Oh! the pain afterwards.

Very thought-provoking question. (On a side note: I so appreciated the eloquent answer in the Anonymous post just before me.)

I definitely would indulge. Love like the kind you describe doesn't come along often. Yep, I'd jump on it like I was breaking a green horse!

The second part of the question is one for which I can't seem to find an answer inside myself. Oddly, there is a love like that within my grasp even now and my biggest fear is that betrayal if I did choose to embrace it. Fear is a powerful thing, no?

The stuff of dreams huh, sign me up. pain is always a growth experience. If I know going into it that it is limited quantity and unimaginable quality I would do it. It's the rug out from under my feet suprise that I can do without.

Death is an unpredictable and often emotionally destructive force, but I believe I would still be able to meet and love this person. If we were to be together until her end, knowing without fear of the final moments, and believing that we'd both be able to find happiness again thereafter, then yes, I believe I might be able to do it. As for betrayal...I don't think so. I've felt betrayed too many times in the past, and have sadly betrayed others before as well. That kind of hurt lingers with a different kind of pain, and makes you ask the question, "If our love was the most satisfying, and the stuff of dreams, why would it ever have to end?" Of course we could sit here and contemplate all of the circumstances and consequences, and maybe settle on an understandable and "appropriate" betrayal, but who wants that kind of brain freeze? Life is full of consequence, surprise, sadness, and contentment. I don't think any of us can truly know how we'd think or act until actually given the physical opportunity...but would we even then? :)

By the way (and I'm sorry for the enormousness of this comment), I was reading back through some of your earlier posts, and felt the need to compliment you on your mastery of erotic story-telling. You've got quite a vividly visual technique, and I'm sure I'm not the only reader who felt a little jolt from your exploring your imagination. Keep up the incredible stories, and I wish you luck in balancing your current life stresses. If you ever want to chat on AIM, my name is the same.....take care. :)

I keep re-reading this post and whenever I do, a song from Garth Brooks called The Dance keeps ringing in the hollow halls of my cerebrum. I won't quote it all here, but I do want to quote one little bit of it..Our livesAre better left to chanceI could have missed the painBut I'd have had to miss the dance.I think that sums it up nicely.

I went into my last relationship knowing it would end at some time and knowing it would hurt worse than any pain I had ever experienced.It lasted much longer than I expected - almost 15 years.Was the ride worth the ticket? You bet it was! She enriched my life beyond my wildest dreams.

I had already commented about this post but still felt a need to add more. As I read the most current comments, Patrick is correct with Garth Brooks' song lyrics. You can take the pain away but what else do you lose? If you feel no pain after a relationship then there were no real feelings to begin with.

I have been hurt a variety of ways at my young age. People I trusted with every fiber of my being have betrayed me. I never knew love could hurt but without that hurt, I wouldn't know my own strength. And, I would not be the person I am today, the good and the bad. Every relationship you have can and does affect your next; good or bad, a lot or a little.

I also find it relevent to mention the current cicumstances I'm facing. I have talked to GW about this and she knows what is happening and the potential circumstances, good and bad. I am taking a huge chance with love. I know that it could be the best thing that happens to me or I could end up hurt again but that is the chance taken with love. You also must realize that it could be taken away at any moment; celebrate it every day.

1. Yes. Been there--not with death--but with intense connection, intense love which fades after a bit. The funny thing is, when it was that good, I didn't kvetch when it went away. I didn't think about what might have been or where I screwed up.

2. No. Been there. I don't need it again. I can live the rest of my life without another betrayal. I have experienced all the growth I can possibly get from being betrayed.

I love this question and love reading everyone's responses! I too would have to choose love. However, I believe that the most satisfying love imaginable could only result from both people feeling that kind of love for each other mutually. In that type of relationship I can't imagine betrayal crossing either person's mind! At least I would hope not! Therefore betrayal would not be something I would worry about. I guess the question says that you KNOW your lover's going to betray you... in that case I couldn't see that person as my lover. So no, I wouldn't want to meet that person and fall in love if that be the case.

I also wanted to say that like so many other's, I too really enjoy your blog! I think it’s amazing! In fact, I want to say thank you for inspiring me to begin posting my own stories and ideas! Keep up the excellent work GW!

Also, please forgive me for removing my last comment. I am such a nerd... I didn't mean to do that! It basically said the same thing as this, so you didn't miss anything juicy! ;)