IF Hearts players are as creative as their fans they will win the league next season by 15 points.

The Jambos have been going above and beyond in a bid to raise funds for their club after it fell into administration.

The talk at the club shop last weekend was of the fan who pawned his wife’s jewellery – with her blessing, thankfully – to buy season tickets.

Midfielder Jamie Walker has even been offered £200 to deliver doughnuts to supporters – which is exactly the policy adopted by Vladimir Romanov that got them into trouble in the first place.

Former Jambos striker Scott Crabbe, now a driver, pulled up at lights the other day and a taxi owner handed £50 through his window to add to the season-ticket pot.

A legends’ game will be played at Spartans on July 21 and there’s even talk of a fundraising concert at Tynecastle. It’s just a pity all the best singers in the capital are Hibees, including Fish from Marillion and The Proclaimers.

Surely they are as likely to become involved as Rod Petrie doing an encore of “Hearts, Hearts, Glorious Hearts”.

Youngsters Kevin McHattie, Dale Carrick and Jack Hamilton have offered to host a lunch for a fan, with bidding currently at £350. It was the brainchild of the players and agent Gordon Reid. He said: “We’ll probably go to one of the guys’ usual haunts.”

Nando’s it is then.

Scottish schools, like Nigella Lawson and her man, have broken up and our teachers have fled to the pub.

But wait! Anthony Smith and Alan Taylor from Webster’s High in Kirriemuir have kicked off their Clarks and tucked away their tanktops to take up a demanding challenge.

They have just embarked on a 1000-mile cycle around the 42 SPFL clubs and the 18 Highland League sides and aim to complete it by July 12.

Anthony, a maths teacher, said: “I cycled round all 38 senior Scottish clubs in the space of a week 32 years ago.

“I decided to do it again and convinced Alan to join in but on a far more ambitious scale.

“On my last trip I visited Bayview, Shawfield, Broomfield, Boghead, Brockville and Annfield. This time I will be visiting the new homes of East Fife, Clyde, Airdrie, Dumbarton, Falkirk and Stirling Albion.”

The tour will raise funds for Webster’s pupils to visit their twin school, Litein High, near Nairobi.

Hampden has been rocking all week to Robbie Williams but my SFA mole hated every minute.

He said: “I sat in the South Stand next to a woman who sold insurance for a living – and through it all she offered me protection.”

Here’s hoping after that epic SPFL meeting on Thursday night Scottish football doesn’t Come Undone any time soon.

The last time yours truly heard the phrase “Jack high” it was a question from Sharon to Ozzie in an episode of The Osbournes.

But an email dropped in from the Rangers Supporters Erskine Appeal giving details of their successful bowls tournament in Renfrew last Sunday.

Record Sport were going to enter a team but didn’t want to be accused of showing bias (that’s one for the bowlers). The event raised over £4000 and the winner was Jamie Durrant – Ian’s big brother.

Durranty’s not a bowler but was known to pull on a pair of white trousers when half of Glasgow hung about Panama Jax in the late eighties.

The Botego do Brasil in Glasgow’s Trongate has been jumping during the Confederations Cup.