Here’s the trailer for Freerunner, which seems like a lock to steal the all-time box office record from Avatar. Yes, Sean Faris is doing great. It seemed like only yesterday he was fighting Cam Gigandet in MMA movies and being interviewed by Michigan high school newspapers, and now he’s back, playing an ace freerunner, who’s going to need all his free running skills of being able to climb down stairs and quickly slide across car hoods if he’s going to outrun a mad man who’s been knocking off free runners. But why would someone do such a thing? Well it turns out out he just really hates free running. The best motive is no motive, as countless poorly-written movies have told us.

My favorite moment is at the 17-second mark when there’s an out-of-context shot of a nerd saying “SH*T YEAH!” after Sean Faris captures the other team’s flag. IT’S LIKE HE’S DOING AN IMPRESSION OF ME WHEN I’M WATCHING SEAN FARIS PULL OFF BADASS PARKOUR MOVES! Then there’s a two-second montage that shows 1. parkour fighting 2. sexy dancing 3. Kanye shades 4. vodka drinking. IT’S SO RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS!! WHICH FOCUS GROUP DID YOU USE??!? This could be the hippest movie of all time. It’s so cutting edge it’s already played out. SAVE THEM, SEAN FARIS! SAVE THEM USING YOUR FREE RUNNING!

I hope to god that black and white screen cap is of him wearing an exploding collar from the Arnie flick The Running Man.I am a 28 years old doctor, mature and beautiful.and now I am seeking a good man who can give me real love , so i got a username Andromeda2002 on–s’e’ek’c’ou’ga’r.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!

07.20.11 at 2:36 am

Brundlefly Swatter

1:09 in the Sean Faris abortion:
That asian dude totally blew some person’s head up by screaming at them. Are you sure this isn’t the trailer for the live-action Akira?

07.20.11 at 3:12 am

Ragnarok

My only concern is whether or not the boogaloo will be electric but I expect that they’ll make you wait until ‘Freerunner 2′ to find out.

07.20.11 at 3:48 am

Ragnarok

FREERUNNER – This time the rec center IS YOUR HEAD!

07.20.11 at 7:58 am

Patty Boots

Every time somebody brings up parkour, I think of that episode of The Office where Michael, Andy and Dwight were running around, awkwardly kicking off of things and yelling, “PARKOUR! PARKOUR!”

Seems pretty accurate here.

07.20.11 at 8:14 am

Argentino

run faris, run.

07.20.11 at 10:10 am

MeatJohnDoe

@monsieur: Go read the epic comment thread on the post about the female-directed PUNISHER movie. It’s a classic.