Joshua Shaw – I typically only use first names, but this one was irresistible to me, repeat this name out loud quickly. It’s fun. It’s like Bob Loblaw.

GEORGIA
Georgia is a sleeper BCS-bowl pick by some college football scribes, but I don’t see it. If the success of their season is dependent upon their freshmen’s names (and it’s not), then they are in trouble.

Demetre Baker – I personally prefer the Russian spelling (Dimitri) but this works too.

Kenarious Gates – Defined as curiously cunning. Jimmy, while appearing to be daft to most observers, was actually quite kenarious when it came to matters involving money.

Kolton Houston – When we were researching boy baby names, Colton or Kolton came up a lot. As did Colby, but we felt like we had ice cubes or marbles our mouths every time said these names out loud.

Hutson Mason – One of those names that seems like the first name and last name have been reversed.

Kosta Vavlas– The Greeks are the best. Although, this is a very tame (in terms of length) name for those folks.

KENTUCKY

Dig. We are Kentuckkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Not a strong showing here either by the Wildcats.

Nermin Delic– Nervous vermin?

Tevan Eatmon-Nared – Could be iced tea or sandals. Either way, this is an exceedingly hard name to slog through.

Burt Mingey – I wonder if “Burt” will make a comeback. It should.

Jewell Ratliff – A friend of mine went to a Jewel concert with his fiancé and evidently she yodels (Jewel, not his fiancé). He did not expect this and laughed uproariously as she was doing it because he thought it was a joke. It was not.

SOUTH CAROLINA
Some good ones here, but the depth is lacking.

Sharrod Golightly – A very unusual first-name/last-name pairing. Sharrod is not similar to Holly.

Ace Sanders – His real name is Tracy … I’d do the same thing.

Cadarious Sanders – Hard not to think of the word cadaver here.

Tramell Williams – You know what? I like this name. A lot.

TENNESSEE

Now this is a star-studded freshman class, I might put these guys against anyone. Prepare to be wowed.

Da’Rick Rogers– A much sweeter version of Derrick. Or another way of saying: The Rick.

Dontavis Sapp– I love the name Donte (and all of its iterations), but adding the “vis” at the end does spice things up a bit. Another thing, if your last name is Sapp, it sure does seem like you have a fantastic chance of becoming a good athlete. It’s a close second to Rolle in that regard.

Alfy Hill – Sounds like he could be Benny Hill’s brother. Sounds like it, but is most definitely not.

Arie Kouandjio – This reminds me of that singer India.Arie. I’ve never heard a thing she’s done, but I’ve always been annoyed by the period between the first and last names. Am I supposed to pause between the names? Do I say India “Dot” Arie?

Keiwone Malone – Keiwone a piece of me!?

DeMarcus Milliner – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, even though “blank”-Marcus is becoming pedestrian, it still intrigues me. You could put De, Da, Ra, Jo, in front of any name now and it sounds familiar.

Petey Smith – Reminds me of my No. 2 movie of all time, Goodfellas… “And this is Petey…” ” There must have been a dozen of Peters and Pauls there…” “This is Marie…” “… and they were all married to girls named Marie.”

Ranzell Watkins – Cousin of Rahzel, the Human Beatbox.

DeAndrew White – See what I mean? JoAndrew would work just as well.

Jarrick Williams – And variations on “Derrick” have been creeping up all over the South as well.

AUBURN
Auburn rarely disappoints either.

Twun Bonner – Twun and done.

Jessel Curry – If your ball bearings are sticking, just pour some Jessel on it and they’ll loosen right up.

Tunde Fariyike – The Frozen Tunde…

Codey Frederick – If I was him, I’d go by “Code Y.” The “e” throws people off.

Demetruce McNeal – A truce over French sauces.

LaDarius Owens – You’d think LaDarius is a rare name, but…

Ladarious Phillips – … you’d be wrong. It’s so common that it’s spelled a variety of ways.

Jawara White – All I can think about are those slaughtered, little, traveling salesmen in Star Wars

ARKANSAS
What Arkansas lacks in numbers, they make up for in might. These are some GREAT names.

Jatashun Beachum – Jatashun us a dialect spoken by the nomadic tribesmen in the hills of Afghanistan.

Javontee Herndon – I feel like this name alone could have .14 seconds off of a 40 time.

Maudrecus Humphrey – With most names I can find a root or at least figure out how the name is similar to another, but this one… I’m at a loss. Maude is an octogenarian female name or Ned Flanders’s dead wife, but I don’t know where the “recus” comes from. It actually sounds like Rodriguez and it’s really a shame that isn’t this cat’s last name.

Marquel Wade – I know it could be Mar-Kel, but I really hope it’s Mar-Qwel. It just sounds cooler.

LSU
It’s becoming apparent to me that the SEC West might be the home of the best names in the country.