Commentary on the Gospel of Sunday, October 7, 2012

Fr. George Vayaliparampil, cmf

There was a husband and wife who lived happily and they had a son. But as the time went by the husband lost the interest in the wife and came closer to his secretary and decided to diverse his wife and marry the secretary. One day evening he told his intentions to his wife and she was shocked and asked the reason but the husband was not in for to reveal the reason. That day they never spoke again. The next day the husband came from the job and presented his draft divorce agreement which stated that she could own the house, the car, and 30% stake in the company of the man. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

In the next day she presented another draft agreement. It begun saying, the one month from now they both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. The reasons were simple their son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with the broken marriage. This was agreeable to him. But she had something more, she asked him to recall how he had carried her into the bridal room on their wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration he carry her out of their bedroom to the front door ever morning. Though it looked crazy he agreed for the agreement.

The first day it looked painful. The second day he could smell the fragrance of her blouse. He realized that he hadn't looked at his wife carefully for a long time. On the fourth day, when he lifted her up, he felt a sense of intimacy returning. On the fifth and sixth day, he realized that his sense of intimacy was growing again. As the time passed by the husband realized that his wife had grown so thin, that was the reason why he could carry her more easily. On the last day, when he held her in his arms he could hardly move a step. The son had gone to school. He held her tightly and said, he hadn't noticed that their life lacked intimacy.

On that day, the short drive that he used to have to his office looked so long. Finally he reached the office and said the secretary that he had no intentions of divorce anymore. His marriage life was boring probably because she and he didn't value the details of their lives, not because they didn't love each other anymore.

Now he realized that since he carried her into his home on their wedding day he was supposed to hold her until death does them apart. The secretary seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave him a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. As he drove back to the house to tell his wife of his new decision, at the floral shop on the way, he ordered a bouquet of flowers for his wife. The salesgirl asked him what to write on the card. He smiled and said ‘I'll carry you out every morning until death does us apart’.

In the Gospel and the first reading we see the teachings of the Bible on marriage and diverse. These days the values of marriage and families are thrown apart and many have become individualistic and opportunistic. On the one hand people prefer to live with persons of the same sex; on the other hand many married people have no problem divorcing even for a simple reason.

Vary often the small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationships. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend/ friends with whom you live and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

There is no guarantee that the life will be smooth. Even the Holy Family of Nazareth had to undergo many problems. But what matters is how we manage to face them and to cope with them. There is a need for a lot of adjustments and understandings in family life/community life between spouses, between parents and children and between members of same order. The Holy family is our example for family life.