Law of Attraction: What Can I ‘Do’ To ‘Control’ My Thoughts?

If you are working with an idea like the law of attraction, you have probably started paying a lot more attention to what is going on in your inner world. You are examining your beliefs. You are more in tune with your feelings. You have become much more aware of the raging river of thoughts that is constantly running through your head.

And this is certainly a good thing. But it can also be problematic because now that you have an understanding of how your inner world is creating your outer, it is all too easy to become fixated on your ‘negative’ thoughts. ‘Fixing’ them becomes your new mission, and they appear to be quite the formidable foe, and you often feel like you are fighting a losing battle.

Today’s post was based on some questions I received from a reader, and I thought there were lots of great nuggets in there to be analyzed.

I (for the last year) have been battling to get my thoughts into alignment just by thinking and to be honest it was a real pain! But can you tell me how I would feel better by doing the same things each day (99% of the time I am) and feel better about it? Is it just about trying to change perspective? But wouldn’t that be battling thoughts again? Or is it a mixture of action (doing the same things each day) and finding ways of looking at it differently?

Also I would love if you wrote a blog post specifically about how to change your vibration without battling those thoughts, I think the way you write it is fantastic!

Also about one month ago I was reading a topic on the Abe forum and a user was saying that if you focus on your desire it will always feel good but if you think your focusing on your desire and it feels bad it means your actually looking at the “But thoughts” and “What Ifs” so it immediately struck a cord and i managed (for the first time) to continuously focus on a some of money (£500) and feel absolutely brilliant.

I did it for I think 3 days and one morning I was heading over to my granny and grandas house and I brought my grandpa his paper with a scratch card for myself and made my way up, and guess what? There was £500 on that card!

But my problem now is I can’t seem to “think” my way into that state of mind again and I very much am struggling to pin point what I thought, but I knew I had installed a certain “back bone” belief of “you’ll know if you feel bad, you are looking at the buts and what ifs” and that made me focus purely on the desire but for the life of me I don’t know how to get back there!

Marty

The Heart of Our Manifesting Struggles

One of the first things asked of me was asking what set of actions could be done day in and day out to overcome negative thoughts and get in juicy alignment. And this is an understandable question. Consciously engaging with our energy is going to be an important part of this process, as we have a lot of programming to uproot and replace.

But this question speaks to what I personally believe to be the biggest contributor to our manifesting difficulties–we view the law of attraction as some sort of ‘tool’ to be utilized, and make it all about action.

We focus in on things like affirmations and visualizing; we are always on the hunt for different tools and techniques. Again, important part of the process and super-helpful. But these things are not manifesting.

Manifestations do not result from actions we take; they result from our energy. There is no exact blueprint where if you do X, Y and Z, a manifestation is guaranteed to materialize.

Our mind is very action-oriented and it carries this approach over to our work with this sort of teaching. It wants to know what it can ‘do’ to control the process and ensure a specific result but it doesn’t work like that.

You can ‘do’ these things all day long but if energy is not changing in any significant way, nothing will change externally.

Again, conscious engagement with our energy is important so having some tools and what not that you personally resonate with, and engage in on a regular basis, is super-helpful for shifting energy and I would recommend you gather some. In the moments you are using them, you are focusing positively, activating energies that serve you and breaking down ones that don’t.

But as for what is ‘best’ that comes down to what resonates with you–they in and of themselves have zero power. Maybe it is meditation. Maybe it is a particular type of visualization. Maybe it is scripting your desired outcome. Maybe it is making a vision board. Maybe it is affirmations.

This idea of the law of attraction as a ‘tool’ you can bust out to get ‘stuff’ sounds super-appealing and this was a big draw for most people. But it is a really big misconception, and this leaves many who were excited by the promise of deliberate creation quite disillusioned.

They are ‘doing’ everything they are told and nothing changes. So then they worry they must be doing manifesting ‘wrong.’ But you can’t do it ‘wrong’ because it is not something that happens on the level of ‘doing.’

Your Mind is Always Going to Do What It Does…Make Peace with That

The word ‘battling’ came up a couple of times, and I noticed it immediately because it speaks to how we often view the process of changing our thoughts and belief system. We have to ‘battle’ these evil parts of our being that are fucking everything up for us.

It is some sort of ‘fight’ between our consciousness and the thoughts and feelings we are observing. These things are something we must conquer and overcome.

And inherent in this approach is a shitload of resistance. We are fighting against something. For anyone who has been at this conscious creation thing for awhile, you have probably seen how that works oh so well–heavy sarcasm alert in case you missed it.

The story of how Marty managed to manifest the money and then wanting to know how to ‘get back there’ again is a common thing we experience. We are vibing nice and high and we let in some sort of really cool manifestation-. It was the state of mind, not anything specific that was done–really really remember this.

But then we have a new manifestation in our sights and all the worry, doubt, fear and limiting beliefs rise to the surface. You would think all our previous manifesting ‘wins’ would put all that to bed, but alas, that is usually not what happens.

This is a whole new issue and nothing that happened before matters to your mind, which is conditioned to go right to the ‘crap.’

Every day you are observing the results of the limited, fear-based thinking in which us humans are deeply entrenched, all around you, in a vast variety of ways. You will probably never completely extract yourself from all of that.

This is just what your mind does and you want to make peace with it–it’s never going to stop. It is also important to note lots of ‘negative’ thoughts may pop up here and there, but that isn’t necessarily indicative of your predominant ‘energy’ on the matter. They are just habitual thoughts we may think in a given situation based on conditioning,etc… That is only something you can know for yourself though, and the assessment will take some honesty on your part.

But giving some more deliberate thought to past manifestations can help build some momentum there. You can drastically alter how you respond to your mind chatter, how much you get sucked into it, and how much it influences your choices, behaviors and actions.

But as for trying to eliminate all sorts of negativity altogether or even striving to reach a state of complete emotional neutrality when it strikes–I wouldn’t make that the aim.

Also it is important to keep in mind that different desires will trigger different pieces of resistance. A particular belief or fear may not have been ‘activated’ by previous desired manifestations because it wasn’t ‘relevant.’

But it is to this new desire, so it is coming to the surface. And you’ll have to look at it and transform it.

This is another thing you have to make peace with–you’ll likely always be bumping up against some sort of limiting belief or fear. It’s not as bad as it sounds though, trust me. The key is not looking to deal with it from a space of resisting it and seeing it as something you have to fight against.

It All Comes Down to Control

The reason we are so focused on ‘doing’ everything right boils down to the need to control. If we can concoct the perfect mixture of techniques and tools, we’ll always be able to get our desired result and we’re golden.

This is also the reason we are so fixated on trying to understand exactly how something like the law of attraction works–if we can understand it, then we know how to ‘game the system.’

But it’s not about what we are ‘doing.’ It’s about what we are ‘being.’ We’ll never, ever, ever be able to understand exactly how it works. We’ll never get that step-by-step breakdown our mind so desperately wants, nor that exact ‘blueprint’ of actions that will guarantee a manifestation.

In order to really become a true co-creator with the Universe, in order to really allow your reality to change in any significant way, you are going to have to develop some more trust in the process, and understand you can’t control said process.

You are going to have to become more comfortable giving credence to the strong intuitive resonance you feel about the ideas of your inner world creating your outer world, the Universe being a supportive force that is designed to work for you and support your highest good and happiness and all that wonderful jazz.

That alone can begin collapsing the variety of problematic beliefs and thought patterns.

You are going to want to engage with your energy on a consistent basis, while remembering it is the shifts from doing so that really create your reality, not the actual tools you are using to facilitate said shifts.

You get to want whatever you want, but you want to be open to how it comes, and what it will ultimately look like. Realize your control comes in the form of managing your vibration, not trying to control every aspect of your external reality, and looking at the Universe as your ‘servant’ who is there to do your mind’s exact bidding.

Work on feeling good and working on your state of mind for the sake of feeling better, and not just to ‘get’ something. This makes it a lot easier to make these inner shifts because you are not fixated on getting some sort of result from doing so.

The inner shifts will naturally lead to manifestations–inner dicates outer so things have no choice but to start changing. It’s not the focus on specific things that makes them come, it’s being in a vibration where you can finally receive them.

Be aware of your vibration and take note to strong reactions, etc…but don’t obsess about every thought and feeling.

Make your well-being a priority as that naturally will make you feel better–the better you feel, the higher your vibration. And that creates space for all sorts of great things to show up–solutions to problems, opportunities, encounters, stumbling upon a great tool that really resonates with you, inspirations and ideas.

So that’s that.

Your Turn

What did you think of the post? Anything resonate in particular? Do you have any good tips, preferred tools,etc… for dealing with mental chatter or getting into a better space energetically?

And I am one of those creative junkies who loves new tools and things to help and inspire me.

My problem lives with consistency.

I was exposed to the Law of Attraction around 3 years ago and since it has truly changed my outlook on life and my positivity.

Iuse to be a very negative person always looking for the “realistic” answer. Where as now 3 years on I am much more grounded in the being. Although I totally lack consistency. For example the tools available are amazing and I will use them for a period of time and then drop out of that circle of working on my mindset in the here and now. For example being thabkful each day and writing in my journel, meditating on a daily basis with guided meditation material and going to Yoga and trying to make a habit of these actions and when I do them I feel more abundant and amazing. But then for some reason I stop. And I can’t explain why. Maybe this is my inner chatter? I’m not sure. However I feel right now in my life I am a little but lost on where I want to be.

I think it’s because I lack routine and self discipline for sure. As I decided to leave my full time job in July this year to pursue my network marketing busienss and work freelance with Dance and drama teaching and since then I am getting work in slowly with my freelance. But my business has taken a dip and it’s definatley due to my self discipline. I’m not sure how to control this and money is coming in slowly but obviously since leaving full time work it’s not reaching where I wanted it to be right now.

So for me my inner chatter is somtimes what we’re you thinking leaving your full time job when your busienss was going well when you was working full time on your job and part time on your busienss.

I feel like I have gotten lazy because I don’t have any one to be accountable too but my self. And then there’s the fact I am usually such a hard working individual but with my busienss as ive got so much time I let my self off so much and my inner chatter is saying that this is OK. When I really know it’s not.

Then I have the inner chatter telling me I shouldn’t do the business anymore because I’m not doing what I’m suppose to be doing with it and so what’s the point doing something that I’m doing half heartedly.

My inner chatter is extremly confusing. And I change my mind of what I want all the time which drives me crazy.

Apologies for such a long long response to your blog and hope you don’t mind.

Hi Rebecca Thanks for your comment and sharing your experience–I am sure a lot of people can relate to your issues. As for stopping what is good for us even though we are seeing benefits, that is just usually good old-fashioned self-sabotage. Our mind sees us changing and it gets kind of freaked out. Our problematic behavior serves us in some way and that part of us wants to keep things as is as there is some sort of fear of something ‘bad’ happening or it can also be a part of us doesn’t think we deserve to be happy or have what we want so once we start getting closer, we pull back. As for your business, doing what you did took courage and it is just bringing up a lot of limiting beliefs and fears, and while it may be uncomfortable to look at them, that is what will lead to transforming them more quickly. No matter what ends up happening, you can never make a ‘mistake’ or the ‘wrong’ choice–in any moment we are being shown something that is helpful for us to see and gives us more clarity.

Hi MS Thanks for your comment and I am glad you enjoyed it. You are not alone in not liking uncertainty–we are pretty conditioned to look at the unknown and the future with trepidation. It is a formidable ‘foe’ at times but ultimately just a habit of thought that can be changed with some deliberate effort at redirecting when we find ourselves going down that road. Coming up with some sort of ‘affirmation’ or reminder phrase could be a helpful thing when you catch yourself doing that.

Excellent reminders..the importance of and real time benefits of feeling good for it,s own sake and that concurrently can enable desired wants to ,physicalize, in a better version than I expected. Significant. This post alone, l feel is , if take in earnest, say,s it all. Many thanks kelli!,

Hi Earl Thanks for your comment and I am glad you enjoyed the post. I know it can be hard sometimes to drop that ‘ulterior motive’ to raising our energy–and we may never fully which is cool–but we can definitely make some good headway on it. If we can remember it is the vibration that creates and it’s all good no matter what, it is easier to take our focus off specific things.

Love this post. It makes it all make sense. I had a better response lined up but my mind wandered, lol. Love this site, love your authenticity, and love seeing the photos of the places you’re visiting. Cheers!

Another great post, Kelli! Thank you for sharing your insights and wisdom! This one really resonated with me because this is an issue that I struggle with. Thanks for bringing clarity to the topic. Keep up the good work!

Truthfully, if you are in the exact vibration of what you want, things can manifest immediately, but oftentimes they don’t for a few good reasons,

1. We may have the expectation that a manifestation is going to take awhile (and this is usually a sign that we have tried to decide how a manifestation will appear, which limits the universe’s capacity to bring you what you want in an infinite number of ways) 2. Through noticing that it hasn’t manifested yet, we often push it away longer than it needs to wait.

Therefore, I think it’s a really good idea to dream up what you want, try not to think about “how” it is going to show up, and then drop the subject and distract yourself from it. If you make it a non-issue, I’ve found it’s quicker and easier for things to manifest. Deliberating too much about the time buffer can make them take a very long time to appear.

Hi Joan Thanks so much for your comment and your advice. I totally agree that thinking something can take longer certainly makes it take longer. I think the key is establishing that balance between realizing we may have a bit of ‘work’ to do on our vibration and we may not be in that ‘sweet spot’ right now while understanding that things truly can change in an instant. Making it a non-issue is certainly key as well–the more we ‘care’ about something, the more there is that sense of ‘need’ around it happening, and therefore the more we try to ‘do’ to manifest it.

THIS. Just… totally this. I have done this to myself constantly in my life; trying to find a boyfriend, trying to find new friends, trying to find “the perfect job”…. Obsessing over things is hard. I am able to manifest small things pretty quick (usually discounts on purchases) because I am all “Ooh, I want that,” and then get distracted. Bigger things are easier to notice the lack of and wonder, “Why hasn’t that come yet?”, because distracting oneself from big things (jobs, relationships, etc) is easier said than done.

Thanks a lot indeed for sharing such an amazing post.. If one knows how to control the thoughts than he/she might do anything wonderful. Especially when come over any negative thoughts happening to them they can step forward to thw world of success. Such an inspiring post I must say

Thanks for your insight Kelly. You give great tips for dealing with negative thoughts and emotions. Research has proven the only way to allow them to pass is to first experience them fully. So this article made me curious about a somewhat related topic- how would you suggest dealing with intrusive thoughts (the kind someone with anxiety, OCD, certain types of migraines and other neurological causes might experience)? And does repetitive thinking (and feeling, if a certain thought bothers someone who has it) in this case have the same power as set intentions, even if the intrusive thoughts are unintentional and limited to times of stress/hormone fluctuations? Do you think LOA can be used to empower these people (instead of making them scared to use it in case their fears come true)?

Hi Anne Sorry for the delayed response–this got lost in the shuffle. I think the idea we can influence our reality with our energy is empowering no matter what but this realization can also freak people out a little bit too as they may become hyperfocused on their thoughts and constantly worrying they are going to attract ‘bad’ things to them. As for people like that, their approach to a teaching like this would probably be a bit different than someone without these sorts of issues but it would be hard to say specifically what to do because that would likely boil down to lots of individual factors. For example, someone with OCD would likely start with examining the root fears that lead to their behavior and clearing those fears would help clear the behavior.

Thanks Kelli, and it’s totally fine 🙂 That sounds like great advice. Do you think it could also be helpful (after first identifying and addressing the root problem) to follow any negative thoughts that crop up with positive ones (thus reframing them and creating a new habit)? Like if someone’s stressed about work and it triggers intrusive thoughts that aren’t necessarily directly related, would it help for them to think “oh there’s another symptom that’s saying I’m nervous about work. Thanks for letting me know there’s something going on in my life I’m nervous about but I’m dealing with it now so please go away bc you’ve served your purpose” and then move on to wish well on others, think positively , etc.? Generally do you believe that strong positive thoughts and feelings can counteract negative ones? Sorry for all the questions I just find it all interesting theoretically 🙂

Hello Kelli, I really loved your article! I personally have just one problem: I don’t know how to manage my vibrations. It is said that the best way to deal with your wish is to make it, stay positive and not always think about it or try to send as many visualisations as you can to the universe because it only shows worries and so on. However, my thoughts completely drive me crazy. I just can’t stop and I permanatley think and think and think. I am in such a negative energy because of that. It is because my wish is connected to such a big dream for me and it is hard to just “leave it” and let the universe do the rest because I also have to work for it to see results. For example like someone who loves football and wants to become a football player. He has got to work for it to improve. The same goes with me. But while I work for my dream (every day) I always have all those thoughts, struggles and doubts which impede my improvement. And because of that it is so hard for me to manage my vibrations and stay in a positive energy. I wish I could just accept my current progress, work with a more positive attitude, have trust and leave the rest. Because I love what I do but I am so obsessed that I can’t let go. Do you know what could help me?

Hey Nora Your thoughts are normal and understandable. You are right that there will be a variety of actions we take towards our manifestations. But by and large they should feel good. Sure we have our moments but if all that worry and anxiety is dominant, you are likely trying too hard or taking the actions from a space that doesn’t feel very good. It might be good to re-evaluate your approach and see if you need to pull back for a bit or make tweaks to the action part of the equation. It is also important you examine the thoughts and feelings, especially if they are this strong. Trying to ignore it in the name of being ‘positive’ won’t work. Obsession and true love for what we are doing and doing it for the love of it really don’t go together so it is also important to see why it is so important this thing happens for you–it is usually very ego-driven and fear based, for example, not wanting to feel like a failure or fear something bad will happen if this thing doesn’t happen.

What I would like to know is if I put anger/hatred to something like that cause I didn’t want that to happen and kept saying “I don’t want to feel like a failure” over and over again does that definitely make things worse and puts me in a reality where it reflects back to me of being a failure

Hi E Whatever we focus on the most and the feelings it evokes will be mirrored back to us in some way. How exactly this energy shows up in our lives is not something we can know for sure. Focusing on a specific situation that you don’t want to happen doesn’t necessarily mean that exact thing will happen but if those feelings and energies are strong, you will likely manifest something that feels the same way to you as that situation.

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About Kelli

Hi, I'm Kelli! Welcome to my blog. In a nutshell, I am a writer and coach taking advantage of my mobile sources of income to indulge in my passion for travel. If I can get an internet connection, it's all good, and since May 2011, my husband Ryan and I have been 'citizens of the world.'

This blog is a result of the wisdom I have gained on my own journey to becoming the person I want to be and living the life I want to live. It is my hope what you read here will inspire you to do the same.