Tag: anti-bullying

Empathy! Feelings! The explanation of feelings helps to teach empathy and instill kindness in children. Kids can be mean! And the best way to teach them kindness is to help them see how others feel.

A little girl who comes to school wearing pretty and expensive clothes makes an unkind remark to a little girl who doesn’t wear that type of clothes. Why? Because her parents can’t afford them or she doesn’t feel comfortable in them.

Sympathy and empathy are not the same thing. Children can be sympathetic when they view a situation through their own eyes and or experiences.

In contrast, empathy requires that a person has the ability to “step outside” of himself or herself. That person must enter the “internal” world of another person. When this happens, a person can experience the other’s emotions from that person’s vantage point.

Sometimes situations, events or people can jump start a child’s ability to empathize. When children’s hearts are touched, often they automatically react with empathy. When empathy comes into play, a child’s attachment to himself or herself takes a “back seat” to trying to help. The following video tells it all.

When The Best Of Us Steps Up, Our Nation Stands A Little Taller…Share this…Credit to: Canadian Tire

Empathy! Feelings!

In the picture above, the two children that Rugby is speaking to must be guided into a state of empathy if they don’t arrive at that state naturally. Maybe the little girl in the dress has been told that how someone dresses reflects her value. Maybe she has been taught that she is pretty too often and she begins to equate what she has and how she dresses with who she is. As young as she is, she may have become vain and self important.

Hence, an approach might be to ask her how she would feel if her parents could no longer purchase expensive clothes for her. What if she had to go to school in clothes like the other girl is wearing? How would she react if kids made fun of her and her clothes? Would she feel better if someone tried to understand how she is feeling and say or do things that might help her feel better?

Finally, a parent or teacher… or dog friend might tell a child how proud he or she will be if this child shows kindness and acceptance of the little girl who is so sad. Honest praise goes a long way!

Do you know a lonely kid who needs a friend? Maybe the lonely kid is your kid or maybe the kid is someone else’s kid. It doesn’t matter whose kid it is. What matters is that you do something to help that lonely kid because all kids need friends.

Maybe the kid is different in some way or maybe the kid is new to the school or neighborhood. Maybe the kid has a learning disability. Whatever the reason is that the kid doesn’t have friends, you need to help in some way. Sometimes adults understand things better than kids do so you need to take charge and do something to help the kid.

How to Help a Lonely Kid

There are some easy things you can do. If the kid isn’t your kid, you can suggest that your kid makes friends with the lonely kid. If the kid is a student and you are a teacher, you can do something to get the kid involved with other kids. Like you could break the class into small groups and do it in a way that the lonely kid would be in a group of kids that would be nice. That way it will be easier for the lonely kid to make friends.

If the kid is your kid, you can connect with other parents and invite other kids over to your house so that your kid has a chance to make friends. If the lonely kid is your kid, a great thing to do would be to get the kid a pet to love. I especially like dogs and you can probably guess why. Dogs are amazing friends for kids. A lonely kid won’t be as lonely if the kid has a dog for a best friend. Dogs get what lonely kids are feeling. Dogs just love and love and they make lonely kids feel less lonely.

The most important thing to remember is that you need to do something to help a lonely kid. You will help a lonely kid won’t you?

I’m on a mission to stop bullying. Do you want to know why? Well I’ll tell you. I had a bad accident and after that, I had to start using a wheel chair to get around. I learned that sometimes, people and animals that are different in some way get bullied.

That makes me very unhappy because being different is a good thing. The truth is that being different is a great thing. And I know that from personal experience!

Bystanders Must Be Standuppers

Now I want to talk to you about bullying and something that is very important. Do you know what a bystander is? A bystander is someone who just stands by and watches while someone is being bullied.

A bystander doesn’t help and in fact bystanders can make things even worse for the bullied kid. When bystanders say nothing and do nothing to help stop the bully, the bullied kid thinks that they agree with what the bully is saying or doing to be mean. That makes them even sadder.

Please don’t be a bystander. Be a “stand-upper” for the bullied kid. I want you to challenge the bully by standing up for those who get bullied. It isn’t hard and there are simple things that you can say. If you are worried about anyone’s safety, tell an adult right away.

Otherwise you can defend the bullied kid and say something like, “Joey is really nice, leave him alone.” Then try to get other bystanders to defend the bullied kid and say something to stop the bully. The more bystanders that become “stand-uppers” and defend the bullied kid, the less likely the bullying will continue.

After the bullying event is over, try to become friends with the bullied kid. Invite him or her to sit with you at lunch or on the school bus.

Please help me make your schools and neighborhoods no bully zones. It’s up to us and I want you on my Rugby Jones’ No Bully Zones Team. How about it? Can I count on you?

Teaching Empathy begins early. Recently I overheard a comment made stating that preschool children are too young to teach empathy. I beg to differ! Newborn babies cry when other babies cry. At very young ages, babies begin to react to the facial expressions of others. Loving and responsive parents teach empathy and love when they respond to their children’s needs.

If you watch young children interact with others, you will see that ones who have been taught empathy are conscious of the feelings of others. It is the parents’ and teachers’ duty to teach children that they are also capable of doing something to lesson the sadness of others.

Young children can be taught to watch faces and listen to what is being said by others. A mother can bring her child’s attention to the sadness of others. “Look at your little brother’s face. He is sad isn’t he? Can you think of anything you can do to help him feel better?”

How does a child learn to be empathetic? There is a theory and it makes a lot of sense. Parents and teachers, you can do an experiment with your kids and you might be surprised at the results.

Ask them to do some playacting. Tell them that you are sad and ask them imagine how you are feeling. Tell them to make a sad face as though they are experiencing sadness right along with you.

Research is showing that a person who imitates a particular emotion via a facial expression shows brain activity that is characteristic of that emotion.

What does that mean? Simply put, it means that a person’s empathetic ability can be strengthened by mimicking the facial expression of the person who is really experiencing the emotion.

Teaching empathy begins by setting the example to children and helping them to be sensitive to the emotions of others. Empathy is the cement that bonds people together. Compassion is the foundation on which they thrive.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

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Beverly N Smith, Med Reading Consultant Specialist

Written from a cute and smart disabled dog’s mouth, Rugby Jones reinforces children’s “Growth Mindset” that they can do anything if they believe they can! I highly recommend this book as a wonderful springboard for parent/child discussions as well as use in a classroom situation followed by discussions and writing opportunities.

Written from a cute and smart disabled dog’s mouth, Rugby Jones reinforces children’s “Growth Mindset” that they can do anything if they believe they can! I highly recommend this book as a wonderful springboard for parent/child discussions as well as use in a classroom situation followed by discussions and writing opportunities. - Beverly N Smith, Med – Reading Consultant/Specialist