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Change

Change is scary — I think everyone, at one point or another, realises that. Change is, however, necessary, and think that we can all recognise just why this is: it causes us to develop, adapt and ultimately advance.

When your best friend has a change in their life, you wouldn’t immediately expect it to affect you directly. Sure, there will be new conversations to be had, and things might be a little up-in-the-air for a while, but that should be pretty much it, right?
Wrong.
My best friend doesn’t live near me at all, but we’re used to that. I see them from time to time at sport training, and we always meet up in school holidays, when they’re home from blindie boarding school (which is even further from me than their home is). This year, however, they’re moving boarding schools, to somewhere further away but, in the long-term, better for them. Of course I’m thrilled that they’re going there — after all, it’s what they want, and I’m confident that it’s where they will be able to excel in all areas. However, with a new placement comes big changes, and that is hitting our friendship with a hard, solid blow.

Unfortunately, due to this new school’s location (and excellent sports facilities), it would neither be suitable nor necessary for my friend to come to the sport training sessions that I attend, and therefore I will not see them regularly any more. I will still see them in the holidays, and I suppose that will just mean that that the time we spend together will mean more and be more special to both of us, but it’s not going to be easy. Our level of contact by phone and internet will not change; I know that for sure — I hope. Still, as I’ve always said on this blog, things aren’t the same if you can’t see each other in person, and things will be difficult as we both adjust to that.

I’ve cried myself to sleep over this; it just really upsets me that this change is happening. Somewhere, I can’t help but panic that something about our friendship is going to change, that they’re going to find new people at their new school. Obviously, I have no issue with this, but they’ll naturally be spending more time with these people, and it worries me that maybe I will be `replaced”‘ by someone else. Maybe it’s ridiculous: I know my friend well enough to know that they would never do that to me, but then again, neither of us have been in this situation before, so neither of us know what’s going to happen.

This person has stuck by me through thick and thin; they’ve seen me at my worst and at my best, and I’ve seen them in their darkest moments and in their times of celebration and joy. More than anyone else, this person means the absolute world to me, there’s no doubt about it. Besides them, I can think of no other single individual who has stuck by me through everything, supporting me when times are difficult and helping me see the positives when my sky is filled with stormy clouds.

Things have never been easy for us: distance, irregular visiting and both of our hectic sports schedules lead to a ridiculously difficult friendship which, theoretically, shouldn’t have ever worked. In practice, it doesn’t really work; there are just too many complications that have an impact on the amount of time we have, both on and offline. Regardless, we plough on, and with some practice and flexibility, we’ve made this friendship work — no, we’ve made it thrive. In my eyes, this is just solid evidence that any friendship can be made to work if each component (i.e person) really wants it to succeed.

Am I being paranoid, though? Honestly, I cannot tell if it’s stupid to think that my closest friend would abandon me when they’re thrown into this new environment, this new situation. In reality, it’s a new situation and a new environment for us both: our friendship is suddenly on new turf. Still, that worry presses on, and I cannot quite conclude whether my anxiety is valid here. Only time will tell — neither of us can predict the results of a situation that neither of us have experienced before, especially when the results are based on individuals’ actions and reactions.

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33 thoughts on “Change”

Im sorry to hear that this is happening to you but, and I know it sounds cliché, it’s all for the best. If this person truly is your best friend, they’ll stick by you – no doubt about it. You really shouldn’t have worry about anything on that front. You’ll get through this and become better friends as a result of it 🙂

I can understand all that you’re feeling, the paranoia everything. And believe me, it’s a completely valid question, “will I be replaced”? And to be honest, only time will tell. It definately doesn’t mean it’s the end for both of you. Both of you have already kept up being long distance in the first place and now that you both are becoming even ‘longer’ (does that make sense?) distance will only stengthen your ties.
They WILL meet new people and adapt into that life BUT they’ll definately not forget you and your friendship.
But don’t worry, whatever happens will happen for the best (too much cliché juice ugh, sorry)

hey, I know what this feels like and it sucks, it really does My best friend moved like 6 hours away a few years ago and we used to do everything together. I was scared, too, that I would be forgotten and replaced and it would have been all for nothing, especially since she was going through a lot of family issues too. However, amazingly, we are still friends now, just as close – if not even closer – than we were before. That goes to show that if you’re really good friends – as it seems to be in your case – there’s no doubt you’ll stay in contact 🙂 It’s difficult, not gonna lie, as like you said it’s not the same as in person, but then when you do meet up it’s like no time even went by. You can do it! I really really hope you stay friends but if you put all the effort into keeping into contact, I’m 100% sure you will 🙂

Aww L, I am currently the person who is moving away from my home, my life, my school and friends, and I cannot tell you how hard it has been. But, even with distance and so many differences I’m going to try really hard to make my old friendships work. If you both put the effort in, it could just be like old times. I guess time will tell, and if you’re missing them call them or something, and it might just be the case they’re missing you back! I hope it all works out anyway, but if it doesn’t (hopefully it will) I know you’ll only bounce back stronger 🙂

By the way at the end the (hopefully it will) bit was hopefully it will work out. Just a clarification because it kind of sounds like I’m hoping it won’t work out, ugh I should really proof read my comments…

I love your confidence in me, but I really am, I once told my classmate with a dilemma that, and I quote: “you could always turn your emotions off.” To be fair though, she just started telling me all of her problems out of the blue and I didn’t even know her xD

Me and two other friends have been a crazy close knit trio for years, literally since we were like 7. One of them moved away two years ago, it’s 5 hours by car and 7 by train. At first I was also worried about being replaced, but I have realised that through constant messaging and plans to get together, even though things have changed they are still good, and we are still a little trio of best friends. And that the move has made her happy because it has enabled her to go much further with her music, because her new school focus on music a lot, and so do her new town, so she’s out doing orchestra all the time, which makes her happy. And it just means that whenever we do see each other, it’s just that little bit more special, and the memories are even more important. Don’t stress yourself over it, there isn’t anything that you can do to change it, and I hope it works out as well for you and your friend, as it did for my group. I have a feeling that this will strengthen your friendship. 😊

being paranoid about getting replaced is definitely something i’ve experienced. but considering you’ve made your friendship stay strong over so many difficulties, you will probably still keep in touch and stuff. just because either of you makes some new friends, doesn’t mean your existing friendships must end. plus it can make it more special in a way, help you both realise how important your friendship is. anyways i hope it’s all good for both of you. and in the tiny chance that it doesn’t go as you’d hoped, remember that it doesn’t mean you weren’t important to that person. for however long your friendship lasts, you will both be making an impact on each other.

Oh I definitely get your situation. When I graduated elementary, my friends and I just moved into separate paths and I was just so afraid they would replace me with someone better and special than, abandon me and slowly forget about. God, I always think that back in summer after the graduation. It’s okay and yup, it sucks. But if this happens, it’s your friend’s loss. I’m sorry about that but that’s kinda true. You’re an awesome human being and god, I don’t know you personally but I want to be your friend. Also, your friend might not abandon you because as I said earlier, you are awesome!

Hey, I get how change can be terrifying. But I am POSITIVE that they won’t forget you: you two have been through so much, I can tell, and friendship can’t easily be forgotten. Your friendship may be a little affected, but that’s natural, as much as it hurts. You’ll still have that trust and respect for each other, because distance can’t change that. It will be difficult, but you can work through it. Tell them your fears, your worries, cry at them if you want. Moving to another blindie college may put a bit of a strain on things, but we adapt to change, right?

Change is terrifying and I understand where you’re coming from. Distance can affect your friendship greatly but if you and your friend both put in effort, you can still find a way to make it work. Best of luck to you! 🙂