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I know it’s been a good chunk of time since my last entry, but I’m not even gonna bother going back to catch up on what I’ve already written… because honestly not a whole hell of a lot has been different, so I don’t have that much to write about. We’ve had a couple decent snow storms, and a couple days where the temps were in the negatives in the morning, so that’s managed to keep me at home just as much as my normal anxiety issues usually do. 😏

One out of the ordinary thing… I did take a trip to ‘Da Boat with Bri for two nights last week. 😊 We’ve talked about it for months, and have had it in the planning stages for the past several weeks – so we were relieved to have pulled it off, considering that both of us have any number of things that could have popped up to wreck the plan. 😳 Last time she was down there with me was years ago when Dezzy also came along, and they couldn’t even get onto the boat back then.

So of course that’s why we were really looking forward to this trip, since she could see and do everything along with me this time. We took a bunch of outfits and props and shit, just in case we decided to do baby belly photos, but it was too easy to just be lazy in the room or going up to the boat to have fun… so very few pics were actually taken, and that was absolutely fine with us. 😋 Our luck would come and go, but it was good enough at times that I could actively see the gambling bug taking hold of her brain right before my very eyes. 😅 Heh… it wasn’t really like that, but she did have a good time and played enough to where she developed favorite machines and everything.

This past week or so has been nice… not having any appointments, not forcing myself to worry about any responsibility stuff. 😐 Heh… that sounds bad. I just mean that I let myself take a break from all of the adulting for a while, although I’m picking back up where I left off here in a bit. (Catching up on the bills that have been stacking up in the mean time) Oh… I do have another “since our last episode” story that I almost forgot about. It’ll be coming up a bit later, if I manage to get through all the bills this evening…

But this trip… I dunno… the more that I think about my medical stuff, the more that I want to do stuff with my friends while I still can. 🤒 I have no reason to think that I won’t be able to do things for years to come – but just in case, ya know? Even Dad, a while back, reiterated that point to me a few times… that I need to stop worrying so much, and sometimes just do the fun thing while not worrying about anything else. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’m right in the middle of a “spell” with my lower back. 🙁 It happens a couple times a year, and I’ve even been to the ER once (several years ago) while it was happening – and the scan or x-ray or whatever that they did, it didn’t reveal any damage or specific thing that could be causing it. (Because of course it didn’t. 😠) So, even though I woke up today essentially unable to walk or take steps due to the unpredictable random jolts of pain – I’m still planning on waiting it out, and then the next time that I feel this coming on I’ll make plans to go to the ER again to see if I can get some answers.

It’s hard to describe the pain and that effect that it has if you haven’t experienced something similar. Cautiously and slowly taking each step, being unable to predict what movement is going to cause a jolt of pain that would knock me over if I didn’t have a wall to grab on to. 😳😢 Even just getting out of bed required five minutes of rolling, twisting, sliding, bending – all to find the one way that allowed me to sit up. And I do mean allowed. Because no matter how much pain that I was determined to accept, there’s a point where pain dictates what the body does, and when it doesn’t wanna allow you to put your weight on one leg, it’ll be happy to let you fall to the ground to avoid it. 😔

But anyway, today is the price that I’m paying for yesterday’s activities. I went up to Columbus to take Cassi to her doctor appointment, and it was actually helpful to spend so much time sitting in my comfortable car seat with the heating elements set to max. ♨😋 I think that’s actually what allowed me to function as well as I was during the moments when we were out of the car. 🤷🏻‍♂️ I also gritted my teefs and made a bunch of phone calls to handle appointments and things that I’ve been needing to take care of. 📞😬

I had $80 in free slot play, and $30 in dining credit, so after her appointment we went over to Hollywood Casino. By the time we got there we were both starving, so we opted for the buffet and absolutely poofed ourselves before we played. 🧑🏻👱🏻‍♀️🍕🍗🥙🍔🥩🥓🍟🥗🍖 I let her play on my free money, and I took the same amount in cash to play along side of her. By the time we left she had won over $240, and I was able to (again) walk away with the same amount that I took, which is absolutely fine with me. 😁 So that “Meh… why not?” side trip ended up being a good experience for both of us.

We then went to the huge thrift store across the way from the casino, and she picked up a handful of new black pants for use with her work uniform, along with some extra shorts and tops thanks to the unexpected winnings. 💁🏻‍♀️ I found a couple of shirts that I liked, but no jeans. 😒 I’ve finally started looking for jeans that have a waistband that’s one size up from the ones that I’ve been wearing for the past many years… not something I’m too excited about… and I’m hoping there’s still a medical explanation that can eventually be fixed so I can stick with my normal “almost fat” sized pants.

So yeah, even though I felt miserable, and feel even more miserable today, I wouldn’t have done anything differently. 🙂 I like when I can do something fun with a friend and it ends up actually really helping them out at just the right time. And when I got home… I was still hurting, but no worse than I had throughout the day… so I certainly wasn’t expecting this when I woke up today. 🤔🤨 I’m going to be taking it super, super easy for the next couple of days though, so I can give it some time to hopefully recover a bit. 🧘🏻‍♂️🙏🏻 I mean, I know I’ll get better – because I always have – but it’s still scary when your ability to walk becomes questionable at best.

I’m sort of feeling guilty for taking a day off when I was feeling good, because today I had to take the day off because my back is fucking killing me. 😣 I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about, because it seems to happen every couple of months, but I do have to be careful how I sleep tonight so that I don’t aggravate it. 😳 Odds are good that I’ll just sack out in the recliner, which rarely fails to give me a decent night sleep… at least in so far as it doesn’t injure me during the middle of the night.

I just got back from Aunt Sharon’s though, because I told her that I’d go over there tonight to work on her PC a bit. 🖨🖥🔍🤓 Someone gifted her a spare printer, so I took one of my extra USB cables over for her – and then her BIOS was reporting that one of her fans wasn’t working, so I took it all apart to check the boards and connections. Nothing looked burnt or broken, but the rear exhaust fan simply won’t spin up. 🤔 There’s an additional exhaust fan on the front, and one mounted directly to the heat sink on the CPU, so as long as she doesn’t leave it running day and night I think she’ll be okay.

I’m walking all gimpy due to my back, and I think it accidentally made her feel bad for having me come over in that condition… but it’s not a big deal. It’s one of those pains that I’m used to having every now and then, so at least on “day one” it hasn’t got me feeling too twitchy yet. 🤪 Now that I’m back home and settling in I’m gonna grab the heating pad and start working on a to-do list of what I want to accomplish tomorrow. 📓🖊🤨 It’s almost all stuff regarding medical stuff, appointments, medication approvals and such – and I’ll have time to do all of that while I sit in my car and wait for Cassi at her doctor appointment.

I know this one is falling pretty close to her mama’s appointment, but this is her first time back after quite a while – since she got her insurance activated again and wants to make the most of it. Something that I definitely encourage. 👩🏻‍⚕️👱🏻‍♀️👨🏻‍⚕️ I’m also sitting here looking at the list of “free slot play” on the calendar that Hollywood sent me, and it works out that a few of them combine to be a decent amount tomorrow, so I think I’ll take her there afterwards to play. 😃🎰🎰🎰 Plus we can use up the $30 in food credit that I’ve got as well. 😀🍔🍟 That should make the drive up to Columbus feel less like a “have to” and more like a “want to” hopefully.

This trip to ‘da boat was one of the better ones that I’ve had in recent memory, at least since the times when me, Mom, and Dad all used to go together. 🙂 Great weather on the way down and back (which is more important than you’d think), awesome lightning over the Ohio River during the couple of evening thunderstorms while we were there, and Cassi and I were able to play and play and play – and I still came home with the same amount that I took to spend, and she was able to go home over $200 ahead and with some comp’d jewelry and goodies from the gift shop. 😃

Oh, and of course we poofed ourselves on the awesome brunch buffet. Mmm… 🤤 not just the regular buffet food, but also all of the important breakfaststuff at the same time. 😁 They must be doing alright, because the entire place is in the middle of renovations. From the giant entry way, to the lobby, to the hallways, to the rooms… everything is getting cosmetic updates. 😯 They’re still in the middle of ripping up all of the faux “stone” flooring in the giant common area and laying down “wood” strips… and for the rest of the hotel, the entire color scheme has changed. The only inconvenience in all of that was that the updated WiFi wasn’t working yet. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Our time on the actual boat was limited the first day, because the machines kicked our asses. 🙄🎰 That was okay though, because the trip was as much about “just getting away” as it was for gambling. We got one of the nicer rooms with probably the best view of all of them, looking right out onto the boat, the river, and the outdoor patio area for the indoor pool. 😎🚢 And, as it often goes, we took our swimsuits but couldn’t muster the “oomph” required to go down and actually swim with the larger-than-normal amount of assholes already in the pool. 😏 (For some of them, I think it doubled for their weekly bath.)

Day two on the actual boat was much better. 😀 I hit a big enough bonus that I was able to set back (to take home) the amount that I took with me to lose, and still have enough to keep playing and to share with Cassi so she could do the same. 🤑 And it wasn’t just that one win. (I missed catching all the winning “sevens” in that video… meh) But both of us kept hitting nice “little-big” amounts that kept us going for the better part of the day. It felt like a totally different experience than the day before. 💁🏻‍♀️🎉💁🏻‍♂️🎈

It sucked to wake up after that second night, knowing that we had to head back home, but the winning came at a time and in a way that it let us both come home with a decent amount money, so we sure couldn’t complain. Besides, we were both anxious to get home to our kitties… especially me, since I knew that Maven was all by herself and probably wondering if I had permanently disappeared. 😿 She was happy to see me when I got home of course, but she didn’t even act grumpy… so perhaps I wasn’t as missed as I had presumed. 😄 We absolutely had a good time on this trip… the last one we might be able to take for a while… but it was sure nice to be home again too.

Like I sometimes do on holidays, I decided to go to Columbus to grab Cassi so she could stay for a couple of days here. Genesee also made sure that the Easter Bunny took care of me again this year with lots of goodies to eat and play with. One of the things was a small box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean jellybeans… the ones that taste like ear wax, boogers, vomit, soap, grass, dirt, earthworm, etc. I haven’t had those since I worked at TS Trim and took a bunch of them in for the people on the line to try.

Believe it or not, we got a couple inches of snow on the night of Easter, with about an inch of it sticking as it fell. It was the middle of the night, so man was it pretty as it silently covered the yard. And then today we had thunderstorms and tornado warnings. I actually missed most of the real excitement though.

Back up in Columbus today, I decided that we should go over to the casino for a minute since I had such good luck the previous time. So we actually went in there right when the first tornado warning sirens were blowing – but we didn’t realize how bad it actually was, and not too awful far from us. It wasn’t until we caught a glimpse of the news on one of the TVs, where we saw the radar and some images of power poles crushing cars and buildings missing their roofs and such. We’ll probably know tomorrow if it was truly a tornado.

But our luck was pretty good. We were able to play and play, I was only about $50 when we left, and Cassi was actually ahead. I’m not greedy… if the place and the games just keep me playing all evening, that’s good enough for me. If I hit something good that’s just gravy – but being able to have a little unplanned fun and not having it really cost me that much, I can’t complain. The weather was still shit though when it was time for me to head home, so that did wear me out.

When I say it was raining, I’m meaning it was RAINING. Late, dark, rain coming down in sheets, people forgetting how to drive… oh, and a bunch of lightning… yeah, it was kind of a “butt puckering” drive home, trying to keep it between the lines and away from the other assholes out there. So after the fun, dropping her off, that crappy ride home… it took away my buzz, and whupped my ass mentally and physically on top of that. And it’s around 3am now, so I don’t think I’m gonna be worth a shit tomorrow. I’ll go ahead and call it a “day off” right now – and if I end up making something of the day, then yay for me.

Yesterday was an all around recipe for failure. 😒 I was still dealing with the pharmacy issues and already feeling like shit, but I had made a promise to a friend and I was determined to not be a disappointment again. 😞 For her birthday, a couple of months ago I bought Cassi two tickets to a concert she wanted to see at the Newport, and that show was last night. It was never my intention to go with her, as I just can’t do it right now (I didn’t even go see Skillet at Winter Jam) but I wanted her to be able to take a friend or her sister to share the fun with.

Unfortunately they didn’t have a ride to get to the show, so I went up there, picked them up, took them to the show, dropped ’em off, and then I had to find something to do until the show was over and I could pick them up again, take them home, and then make my way back home myself. 🤔 I didn’t mind doing that at all… it was part of the gift. But I was already in bad shape before I left, and the sea of humans and traffic on campus only made things worse. 😬 I was gonna just find some thrift stores or something to kill time, but there were just too many people so I needed to go elsewhere.

That lead to one of the high points of my evening at least, after deciding to go over to Hollywood Casino. I hadn’t been there since maybe last summer, and I remembered that being in a casino often masks my pain… but not so much last night. 😐 It was fun, but not fun, if that makes sense. 😏 Too much time in the car, too much sitting in uncomfortable chairs… and it just kept getting worse. The one saving grace is that I kept losing and winning at a rate that had me only slightly down from when I walked in – and then right when I was leaving, I hit on a machine that Jim always says I should play. 😃🤷🏻‍♂️ This makes the second time he’s picked a winner for me.

But anyway, by the time I got home around 11pm… omg… worst neck pain that I’ve had in months. 😓 I’m not yet going to assume that the steroid injection is wearing off, since there were other factors, but yeah… it took exhaustion to finally make me sleep, because there wasn’t a single position that I could turn to that would make it go away. That sort of pain that makes a person go, “Oh shit… I’m really screwed if it just stays like this.” But like I said, thankfully, today the pain was down probably 90% from yesterday.

I guess I should wrap this up. 😏 Waking up feeling somewhat okay today… it’s allowed me to sit and plan my way towards the weekend in a way that I might be functional and okay. Don’t get me wrong, I hate that have to do any of this, and I hate that I have these days where I know I should do absolutely nothing, before baby-stepping my way out of it… but despite how it makes me look or how it may affect others, I have to start figuring out how to not be physically miserable and emotionally fucked because of it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Cassi and I made a trip down to Cincinnati again this past weekend. We didn’t even realize it until yesterday, but it’s apparently become kind of a tradition to visit the boat during this time of year – because we’ve got photos from last year and the year before, with all of the Christmas decorations there behind us. This year we only decided to make the trip since we couldn’t make the cheap-o day-flight down to Orlando work.

The Jack casino gave us a 6th floor room at the Holiday Inn on Broadway, which has a great view of the weird apartments and condos that are built into the hillside on the other side of the highway. Those places must have an amazing view of the city… I’d have a camera set up 24/7 to catch sunsets and storms and time-lapses and shit. 😏 Normally we’d just go down for one night, but since they’re willing to give two nights we’re not gonna refuse. It’s nice to be able to wake up the next morning and not have to immediately jump up and pack to make sure you’re out of there before check-out time.

It was a pretty standard trip, but since we weren’t actually staying at the boat we used our “full day” to just drive over there and back. So, no swimming or hot tubbing while we were there, but we did take advantage of the slot comps and free breakfast buffets. 🤤 They finally took all of the Cashman machines that Mom used to play off of the 4th floor, but they replaced them with Quick Hit slots which Cassi and I both like, so it was neat to sit up there and play in Mom’s corner for a while. ☺ The whole place looked a lot better than last year when we were there. (Lots of updates)

It was a nice trip, weather was nice for all three days, didn’t lose my ass, free room, free food… just a nice getaway for a couple of days. 😎 Oh… heh… and that Playstation VR that I ordered the other day? Yeah, it got here on the day that I left, so it was sitting on my porch for the better part of two days with nobody coming along and swiping it, so that’s one good side effect of living outside the city. 😛 Even though I’m excited that it’s here, I probably won’t have the oomph to hook it up and thoroughly mess around with it for a couple of days.