This is more of a vent...but...

Of course we’ve heard about the mental health crisis for years, but until you experience it you don’t really get it.

FIL (father-in-law) suffered a severe TBI in May. Even while comatose he was flailing around, trying to scoot out of bed, boxing at people. He was in restraints with thick gloves on his hands to keep him from pulling out tubes and IV’s. (He still pulled feeding tubes and IV’s) Once he came to they sent him on to rehab. In rehab he wandered, tried to escape (and did) and got into everything. He ended up needing a sitter 24/7 which cost like $500/day. All he wanted was to go home.

When he was finally discharged to home he wanted to go home. As in, he was home, but no longer knew it was his home. His memory short term was pretty much gone. Long term he was in the 80’s maybe. His memory at home went from about 50% to 20% within a month. They did more scans and said he probably had early signs of dementia before the injury, but now it was basically full blown. He now seems to be in the 50’s. He recognized me early on but no longer does. He seems to recognize his sons, but not always his wife bc she looks old. So, we have brain damage and dementia we are dealing with. He began shoving MIL (mother-in-law) and the live in caregiver. He threatened them with a knife, a flashlight and a metal pole. They finally called 911. He ended up in the psych hold area a week and a half ago. They began to look for a behavioral hospital to try and get him regulated. No one has a bed OR they refuse him because he’s aggressive. Shouldn’t this be a behavioral hospital’s job? To take care of people with behavioral issues?? On Sunday night he tried to punch his way out of psych and was put in seclusion for part of the night. Monday they called and wanted to discharge him because he was fine. WTF. Memory cares have come to assess him and deny him care because of his behavior. Seriously...what do you do? He’s 83. No one will take him. Hospitals that can have no beds. It’s insanity.

I used to work in the Brain Injury Unit of a Rehab Hospital. I knew very well patients like your FIL.
I knew before I read it you would say you/MIL took him home and he still wanted to home and became violent with family and cargivers.

I wish I had some advice for you but I just have empathy. If anything I woul stay adament that he can not come home with family, that it is not an option. They will have to find someplace for him but unfortunately that place may not be close to you all.

Also if you all haven't yet I highly recommend you and your MIL (mother-in-law) have a consultation with an attorney in your state that deals with estate planning to protect her asssests. Don't take any one's advice but a qaulified attorney or possibly accountant special knowledge of the laws. The laws vary from state to state and are very specific and tricky.

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