Monday, March 31, 2008

First, the good news: I'm back from the Crimson Moon spanking party, which was a rousing good time, and I'll write more about it another day. The trip down and back was uneventful, which is always good. And baseball season has started and the Minnesota Twins won the season opener 3-2 over the Angels! Whoo-hoo!

The bad news: It snowed here today--I thought we'd finally gotten to a point where that wasn't going to happen anymore, but the darn white stuff is back. I also have a nasty cold--out of nowhere on Wednesday I started coughing and could feel each one like a burning sensation in my lungs. The cough persisted through the party (which was annoying, but not overwhelming). It apparently was just waiting for Sunday because it kicked in with a vengence once I got back home. I coughed so much my abdominal muscles are actually sore today. It's getting better--I'm just hoping it doesn't turn into a bout of bronchitis. I went through that once before, and I don't particularly care for a rerun. And the last bit of bad news is that while I was gone, some @%#^ spammer posted a "comment" on one of my posts--you know, the type that make it sound like they know you and have your permission to do this--that "So good to talk to you, I'm leaving for the airport now, but if you want to make money click HERE" kind of crap. Well, I don't know you, I hope your plane crashes and everyone survives but YOU, and I don't want you posting your B.S. here!

I deleted the comment, and I'll do the same anytime I see this sort of thing crop up in the comments section of any of my posts. If it gets too bad, I may have to start moderating the comments.

So that's where we are right now. I'll write a bit about the Chicago party when I feel better. Here's hoping all of you are only getting good news!

Friday, March 28, 2008

I've been going through some old floppy disks (Technology being what it is, I'm almost tempted to say, "Hey, anybody out there remember floppy disks?") when I came upon this cartoon. It's a little reminder to me that good things can be found if you take the time to look for them. Anyway, I thought I'd share it with you:

Sorry about the quality--it's not particularly sharp and clear--but that's the way it was posted, so that's the way I saved it. If your eyesight is like mine and you can't read it, the caption says, "Excuse me, but you did say I needed a good fan belt, didn't you?"

And this picture, which looks like an old Nu-West photo, reminds me that I'm going to be in Chicago this weekend for a Crimson Moon party. That means no updates for a few days--but then, I don't exactly update every day anyway. If any of you out there are also going to be at the party, come on up and say, "Hi." I won't bite (I'll spank, but I won't bite....)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

In my "Musical Interlude" post, I devoted a verse to several of the characters from the TV show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer--Buffy, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar; Willow, played by Alyson Hannigan; Anya, played by Emma Caulfield; and Cordelia, played by Charisma Carpenter. Each of the ladies is young, attractive, and oh so spankable. Of course, that's probably what every spanker says regarding the cast of his or her favorite TV show.

In my verse, I had them running afoul of a Spanking Demon. It's not that far-fetched, considering some of the other creatures Buffy and the Scooby Gang had to face. I can only imagine how Joss Whedon, the creative force behind Buffy, would have written it.

I can just see the aftermath now:

SCENE--INTERIOR, BUFFY'S HOUSE, THE KITCHEN

(The back door opens and the gang starts to file in. They are all carrying weapons, which they place upon the kitchen counter upon entering. Buffy enters first. She is carrying an axe in one hand, and with her free hand is gingerly rubbing her bottom)

BUFFY: A Spanking Demon. Who knew?

(Willow enters next. She, too, is rubbing her backside)

WILLOW: The ten arms should have been a giveaway.

(Cordelia enters. Her hands are tenderly massaging her derriere)

CORDELIA: Not to mention the five laps!

(Next in is Xander, the lone male of the group. He, too, is rubbing his butt)

XANDER: I think I speak for all of us when I say we will never talk about this again! Ever!

(Anya is the last in. She, however, is briskly rubbing her bottom and has a huge smile on her face)

ANYA: Personally, I found it exciting! And by exciting, I mean...

(Xander spins towards Anya, pointing)

XANDER: EV-ER!

ANYA: Okay, Mr. Grumpy Pants. Geez!

(Anya starts to leave the kitchen, but stops next to Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia)

ANYA: Funny, he's never complained about it before......

(Anya exits, the other girls smile and try to refrain from laughing out loud while Xander looks like he wishes the floor would open up and swallow him as we.....)

Monday, March 17, 2008

I won't be doing much celebrating this year, since St. Pat's falls on a Monday. I'll work my usual shift and make it back home shortly before midnight. So, no wild St. Patrick's Day party, no drinking of the green beer, no eating of the green food (green food?? Hmmm...might be time to throw out those leftovers!)

I will, however, certainly be keeping an eye out for any ladies wearing this:

Friday, March 14, 2008

Okay, that's admittedly a bit short for a blog entry. On the other hand, it's not like there's anything new to say on the subject. As Dave of The Cherry Red Report says in one of his wonderful "Get Your Spank On" entries on his blog, there are a lot of spanking blogs out there, and it seems like every topic has been talked about already. So, I think it's safe to say none of you are going to read this and go, "Egad! Safewords? Brilliant!" and break out the Guinness.

What I--and all the other bloggers out there--can do is take a topic and give our own experience and our own perspective in regard to it. So even though there may already be 900 posts about safewords, each one is a little bit unique and has something the others won't have.

So--back on topic. You all know what a safeword is, or at least I hope you do. It's a word that the bottom can use to stop the action. It should be a word that normally does not come up during a spanking, thus making it easy for the Top to pick up on. "No", "stop", and "ouch" are not good safewords, for example.

I bring the subject up because it seems to me that a lot of new people coming into the spanking scene don't use them. They tend to gloss over that part and just want to get to the action. Don't do it. A safeword is a standard safety precaution, and you really do need one, and make sure the person you're about to play with knows what it is.

Some people have them, but they wind up afraid to use them for fear they'll seem like they're wimping out. Trust me--no one will think less of you if you safeword, and your bottom will probably thank you later. :-)

The most common, and perhaps the most popular, safewords use the concept of the traffic light. When the spankee says, "Red", everything should stop immediately and the spanking is over. The reason she uses the word isn't really important--maybe she feels that her bottom can't take anymore, maybe she's become uncomfortable with something that is happening. If it's important, she'll tell you why she called, "Red", but she doesn't really owe you an explanation. It's enough that she used the safeword, and that means, "Okay, that's it."

"Yellow" means slow down, or wait. It could just mean there's something she wants to talk over. Maybe she's developed a leg cramp. Maybe your knee is digging into her stomach and she needs to reposition herself. It doesn't mean the spanking is over, but she needs to have you pause for a bit.

"Green", of course, means everything is fine, and go, man, go!

Now obviously, if you're playing with someone who has been your spanking partner for the last 5 years, you already know the other persons safewords and don't have to go over it every single time. But if you're playing with someone new, a safeword is a very good idea.

I was at a Crimson Moon party many years back with a very nice lady, and she got herself into a bit of a situation. We were in the hospitality suite, so there were other people about, and one gentleman approached her and asked her to play, and she agreed, so he started spanking her there in the suite. She thought she knew the safeword, he thought he knew the safeword, so there was no discussion beforehand. The problem was--they were different safewords.

Without going into too much detail, something developed that she wasn't comfortable with, and she wanted to stop, so she said her safeword and--nothing happened. The spanking continued. So she said it again, and again nothing happened. At this point, she told me later, she just panicked. Her mind went into overdrive, her body felt like it shut down, she couldn't move, and all she was aware of was that she was in a bad situation and couldn't stop what was happening.

Fortunately, one of the party organisers was nearby, realized that her distress was genuine, and stepped in to stop the action. As they talked it out, they discovered the problem of the two different safewords. Needless to say, she made a vow to herself to never let that happen again.

We were talking later and she said, "So, Ken, what should I use as my safeword?"

I suggested, "Lorena Bobbitt". Hey, if that doesn't get a guy to stop what he's doing immediately....!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The first Chicago Crimson Moon spanking party is coming up fast. My bags aren't packed, but I'm ready to go. (At this point, I know you're worried that I'm going to break into a chorus of Leavin' On a Jet Plane....especially after the recent "Musical Interlude". Let's see, the parody would be "Spanking on a jet plane--don't think they'll let me fly again.....")

Okay, that's enough of that....

I'd like to attend as many parties as possible, but monetarily, it's just not feasible. There's airfare, cab fare, hotel expenses, party admission fees. A weekend of spanking fun can be costly. I usually stick to the Chicago parties, because Chicago is the easiest--and the cheapest--to get to from Minnesota. Shadow Lane in California, Florida Moonshine, the Texas All-State party--these are all terrific venues, but the further I have to go, the more I have to spend on travel. So Chicago wins, hands (palms?) down, and I hope to make three of their parties this year--March, July and October.

Naturally, I can't wait for the first party of the year. If it's Crimson Moon in March, can Spring be far behind? Ah, ice thawing, snow melting, green grass growing, trees budding, warmer weather Spring. After our usual 5 (sometimes 6) months of winter, I always look forward to it.

Well, that and the first spankings of the year, as well.

While March means the first party of the year to me, for others it may be their first spanking party, period. And for some, it's a chance for their first spanking experience, ever! Naturally, those people have all sorts of questions running through their heads, and that's really what this blog entry is about.

The first bit of advice I would give to the newbies would be, "Do your due diligence". Find out what you can about the group hosting the party. For example, there's a link here on the blog to Chicago Crimson Moon. Go there, read the site, read the FAQs, look at the party reviews, read the rules. The more you know going in, the better. If the party host doesn't have a web site, look for a Yahoo group or something similiar. Join the group and use the message boards or chat rooms to ask questions. Network beforehand. Post an informative introduction. "Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be at the party in March" tells us nothing. How old are you? Where are you from? Are you a top, bottom, or switch? Is this your first spanking experience? Or your first spanking party? You don't have to publish an autobiography, but some bits of information do help people get to know you. In return, you get the chance to know a little about some of the people attending the party, and you may even be able to make arrangements to play with someone ahead of time. Do it before the party, and you won't find yourself sitting alone watching people wandering off to play while you're nursing a soda.

If the group hosting the party sends you material, read it. It probably contains vital information that you need to know. They likely have a code of conduct. You should read it and understand what is acceptable, and what isn't. If they have an orientation for newcomers the first night of the party, be sure to attend. They can shed light on any unanswered questions you may have. Find out what the rules are, and follow them.

You might wonder about how you should behave at a spanking party. Well, take the word "spanking" out of it. How do you normally behave at a party? That's what you should do. Be polite, be courteous. Mingle. Introduce yourself to people. You don't need to wear a tuxedo--jeans and a t-shirt are just fine--but the clothes should be neat and clean. Take a shower before the party. Depending on the hotel, you may have close to 100 people mingling in one hospitality suite, so personal hygiene really is important. Use deodorant, people--it's not a new concept!

Your greatest aid to a good time is going to be the other people attending. For example, if you're a female bottom at her first party or looking for her first spanking, talk to the other female bottoms. They can point out potentially good play partners for that first experience, as well as steer you away from someone who may play harder than you'd like, or someone no one knows anything about. The grapevine is active at every party, and it's one of your best resources.

Hopefully, you will find people who want to play with you. It's why you came, after all. But nobody HAS to play with you. Just because they're there doesn't mean they're available. If you ask somebody to play and they say, "No", accept it and move on. They're not being mean and it's nothing you did. They're not rejecting you as a human being, it simple means that they have other plans. They may be attending the party for the sole purpose of meeting with a select few people, or certain old friends. If you're told "no", smile, say "thanks, anyway," and go chat up someone else.

If you do find someone to play with, be sure to talk things out first. Establish a safeword. Go through the negotiations--agree on what is okay. Skirt up or skirt down? Seat of the panties, or is bare bottom spanking okay? Hand only, or can implements be used? If so, which implements? The more you can cover ahead of time, the less likely you'll have a bad experience, or have to keep stopping to talk things over.

You might find yoursefl in a situation where a seemingly normal girl may come up and put an ice cube down your shirt. That's called "bratting", and is almost always an invitation to play. There are "brats" at every party, and you'll see them practicing their art, giving the Tops in turn a chance to practice theirs. But do NOT brat anyone you have no intention of playing with! That's just bad manners. There are also plenty of Tops who don't like to be bratted, and will not respond to it. You can find that out by chatting with them, or you can use the grapevine to find these things out. (If bratting doesn't feel right for you, don't worry.....simply asking someone, "Would you like to play?" is all that's really needed at a party.)

A lot of people go off to their hotel rooms to play, while others will play right there in the hospitality suite. Playing in the middle of a crowd of people may not sound like your thing, but a lot of people feel it's safer, since at a party you're likely playing with someone for the first time and, in some instances, someone you just met an hour ago! If people are playing in public, give them room and let them be. Don't hover. Nobody--especially a bare-bottomed spankee--likes a guy who comes and stands behind them two feet away and just stares. Likewise, don't interfere with or interject yourself into someone else's scene. If two people are busy playing, it really isn't the best time to try and talk to one of them. In other words, use some common sense and don't be rude.

Don't be an obnoxious jerk, either. I know that sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised. I can think of a person or two who have attended parties in the past and who have come in going, "I'm a great Top and I've been spanking women for 23 years and I know exactly what every woman needs and this is the way it should be done and I can do this and I can do that" and blah blah blah. Guess what--you're not the ONLY person who knows how to spank. You're at a party with, oh, 50 other tops. And every one of them could make the same claim, if they were so inclined. And the odds are that the women listening to you go on and on have had a chance to play with those 50 otherTtops before. Guess who they'll choose to go off and play with? Saying what a fabulous Top you are doesn't make you one. If the lady you're playing with says you're a great Top--well, now you're talking. Be an obnoxious jerk at a spanking party? Let me know how that works out for you.....

Do not take liberties. It's a spanking party, not a sex party, and spanking is the only sanctioned activity. Just because someone is willing to go bare-bottom over your knee for a spanking doesn't mean you should feel free to let your fingers do the walking, if you know what I mean. Enjoy the experience, but keep your libido in check.

Finally, a little tip for the spankers. It's something I've been doing ever since I started spanking, and I never thought anything of it until one lady appreciatively commented on it. When you're done playing with someone, it's customary--once all the clothing has been readjusted--to share a hug afterwards, and the spankee usually says, "Thank you." Now, you could, of course, say, "You're welcome", or "It's what you deserved" or some such comment. But when a lady says, "Thank you" to me after playing, I always respond, "Thank you." It's a spanking party, after all--she could be playing with any number of other gentlemen, but she chose me, and I want her to know that I appreciate it.....that I appreciate her. We know you have your choice of other spankers--thanks for flying Dr. Ken.

Good manners lead to a good reputation, and in the Spanking Party world, that can take you a long way!

Spanking parties are not for everyone. It may not be your cup of tea. That's a decision you have to make for yourself. If you do decide it's something you'd like to try--I hope some of what I've written will help. I know I didn't answer all the possible questions you may have--but it's a start.

Monday, March 10, 2008

In the lyrics of my previous post, "Musical Interlude: Sing Along With Dr. Ken", the chorus stated that "We all just wanna spank TV stars" and one of the stars mentioned was the "Cashmere Mafia's Lucy Liu." Apparently that line didn't sit too well with her. Here is Ms. Liu's response:

Frankly, with that attitude (and the way those jeans are fitting), I'd like to see to it that she didn't sit too well for a bit.....

(Okay, just kidding. I did not hear from Lucy Liu, who I daresay has better things to do than read this humble blog. The photo is actually from the October 2001 British Edition of Esquire magazine, photographer unknown.....The only truth to this post is that her butt does look good in those jeans!)

Saturday, March 8, 2008

One of my favorite songs recently has been "Rockstar" by Nickelback from their CD All The Right Reasons.

One of the favorite recurring topics on spanking message boards has always been, "What TV star would you like to spank, or like to see spanked?"

So I've combined the two. The result is this song parody called, "TV Stars". If you don't know the tune, you can probably find it on the web. I believe there's a version of the video on YouTube--just search for Nickelback-Rockstar.

You can, of course, just read this as a poem, but I think it's more fun to sing along....

And if you recognize all the shows and the ladies named--you watch too much TV!

Sing loud, now.....lyrics start after the picture:

I'm tired of watching TV and nobody gets spankedI wish some guest would take a paddle to Tyra BanksThese TV shows today aren't what I hoped they would be

I'd like to see some spanking around the dialOn Cable and Network--that would make me smile'Cause all the ladies on the air sure look spankworthy to me

There'd be bottom-warmings for Desperate HousewivesAnd Girlfriends would get the spankings of their livesThe women of Friends would all get the wooden spoon

Kari Byron would get her butt bustedAnd Rachel Ray would get her seat dustedYou could set your evil designs on Heidi Klum

I'd like to see some spankings on my TVI'd like it even better if the spanker were me

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Hi, there! If this is your first time visiting Spanking Minnesota, make yourself at home, consider yourself welcome, , and I hope you find enough interesting things to read that you'll come back again and again.

Oh...and use a coaster. Where'd you grow up, in a barn? Honestly, I clean and I clean.....(sigh)The blog is now about a month-and-a-half old. For those who have been here before--in case you haven't noticed, I've made some minor changes.

I've added a few more links to other blogs. I hope you'll take the time to check them out. The latest addition, Hermione's Heart, is a brand-spanking new blog, exactly one day old as of this writing. I've seen Hermione's comments on other blogs (including my own), and she's going to be worth reading. Take a trip over there, leave a comment and wish her well.

I've also added a link to the Chicago Crimson Moon web page. I've been a member of CM since it began in 1993, and frequently attend the spanking parties that they hold. In fact, they have one coming up at the end of March, and I plan to be there. I talk about Crimson Moon often enough here and elsewhere, so it's only fitting that I put a link for them here.

Lastly, for my own amusement, I've added a counter at the very bottom of the page. Blogging is sort of weird. You write this posts and put them out there, and if no one leaves a comment you have no idea if anyone is reading it. Looking back over previous posts, I could easily come to the conclusion that my blog is read by about 9 people. So, early on the morning of March 5, I added a counter to give me an idea of the traffic that comes through here. I thought about setting the counter to, say, 1,000 just so it wouldn't look strange to visitors ("He's been bloggin' since mid-January, and he's only had 6 visitors?! Lawdy mama, get me outta here!"), but decided against it and started at 0--or, to be more accurate, 00000000.

Imagine my surprise and delight when I signed on to write this post and discovered I'd had 242 hits in less than 24 hours. It's a very gratifying--and somewhat humbling--feeling.

So, that brings you up-to-date. And thanks to everyone who has been kind enough to grace this page with their presence.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

This was sent to me as part of a larger post. An unnamed advertising agency attempted to put the big number, "1 billion", in perspective. The next time you hear politicians bandying around budget or project costs in the billions, think of this:

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Friday night I finished work, went to Blockbuster and rented a couple of movies, picked up a pizza, and went home. In retrospect, I should have skipped the pizza. O Waistline, Where Art Thou?

The plan was to eat, drink, and be entertained. I really didn't expect to stumble across a little peek at a spanking scene. But that's what I found.

The movie was The Amateurs, starring Jeff Bridges, Ted Danson, Judy Greer and Lauren Graham, to name a few. Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls) and Judy Greer (Arrested Development) are only in the movie for about 5 minutes, so saying they are "starring" is a bit of a stretch.

Jeff Bridges plays Andy. Andy lives in a small town, and is going through a bad patch. He can't get and keep a job. His wife divorces him, taking his son with him, and now she's with an incredibly rich man who can give Andy's son anything he wants--the boy's room is a basketball half-court, complete with scoreboard. Andy, needless to say, is not happy with where his life is. As he puts it, "I'd had enough of not having enough."

One day he's sitting in the local bar, thinking--always a bad sign--while his friends sit nearby, and he finally makes a decision. He stands up and announces to his friends, "We're going to make a porno!"

It's hardly a new premise for a movie. We've seen it before--high school boys make a porno film; college guys make a porno film. Now it's small town folks make a porno film. Not exactly uncharted territory, here. In the first two examples, though, the plot line is primarily an excuse to trot out a lot of T&A shots and rake in some dough as a Summer release. The Amateurs, however, has something those other films don't--heart.

This is, ultimately, a film about love--love between friends, love of family, love between two people. It's what drives most of the main characters, and some of the minor ones. Even the closest thing this movie has to a villain is motivated by the love he has for his sister. I find it an oddly sentimental and endearing film.

The spanking? Ah, yes. I did mention a little scene, didn't I?

The writer/director in the movie, who is Some Idiot--that's not a judgment, by the way; that's what his friends have named him--and his cameraman have just filmed the obligatory Lesbian scene for the movie (because every good porno has to have at least one good Lesbian scene). The guys are gathered at Andy's to watch the raw footage, and we--as the viewing audience--are watching them watching the film. The two girls that agreed to do the shoot turn out an amazing performance, prompting Andy to proclaim, "We Love Lesbians". As the footage runs, we get a close-up of a bare-bottom spanking taking place. We see a couple of spanks, and then the camera pulls back giving us a better view of the two ladies, one applying the spanks while the other one lies over her lap, her legs bent at the knees and kicking in the air. That's really all we see. There's only a few spanks delivered, and they look very light and playful. Later in the movie, when they start to edit it together, we get another little glimple of the spanking, but it looks very much like the same footage we already saw.

The movie clocks in at 96 minutes. If you're looking for a little light entertainment, you might consider taking a look at The Amateurs. I wouldn't suggest buying it, but you can rent it from your favorite local movie store.

About Me

I'm Dr. Ken, 63, and single. I'm a Spanker, I live in Minnesota--hence the blog name! Spanking Minnesota is updated daily.
While the main thrust of this blog is adult consensual spanking, it's not the ONLY thing you'll find here. There will be posts about spanking, of course, but I reserve the right to post about anything I want. So you'll find song parodies (usually spanking related), photos with captions that I make up (usually spanking related) and photos of ladies with very spankable bottoms (obviously spanking related) and occasionally posts about non-spanking related topics. I think spanking is fun, whether it's "mock punishment" (or "funishment"), something a little more disciplinary, or a spanking just for the heck of it, and I want this blog to reflect that..
I'm a member of the Minnesota Spanking Group on FetLife, , HankySpankyMN (check out the Yahoo group), and a long-time member of Chicago Crimson Moon. I've been known to attend other parties around the nation, such as the Texas All-State Spanking party. If you see me at one of these events, feel free to come up and say, "Hi", and if you'd like to play--just ask me!
. So, do YOU need a spanking, young lady?