Recounting adventures of my daily life!

Criticism- Flurry of Thoughts

These are my thoughts in no order of importance, just the sequence in which they occurred to me!

My inner voice is my biggest critic.

Most of my girl friends and female cousins also suffer from having horrid inner voices. These can range from mildly unkind to debilitatingly harsh voices! Sad, but true!

Motherhood has made me sensitive and more prone to worrying. Hence, I can ‘sense’; sometimes incorrectly, criticism in feedback or advice!

I try not to be critical after becoming a mom! Since, I have realized that what works for one family might not for another. Let’s face it, Hubs and I don’t see eye to eye on loads of topics when it comes to parenting.

Related Confession: I do judge people who insist that Hubs or I follow their parenting techniques. Do you know if it suits my kid or our family ideologies and values? Is it necessary? Will it work? How do you know we have not tried it? I mean sharing your strategies is great, I shall keep it in mind but insisting we follow it is silly!

While social media is a boon and the various technologies to connect are simply splendid; it also comes with a flip side. That anyone and everyone now has a chance to criticize others. The same platforms that make it simple for me to stay in touch with my geographically separated family and friends also inflict criticism from random people I don’t know and who don’t know me either! Thankfully, I am not famous; so, I don’t have many trolls in my (virtual) life. Plus, I know how to use the ‘Block’ options. But it still feels unfair and upsetting. Throw in points 1-3 and it can make a woman really miserable.

Whenever I think of criticism, I always remember my mom’s advise on my homework. I need to critique a literary piece of work for my English class. I do not recall the title of the poem, just that it was a very sombre poem. Hence, I had put an overly critical and mostly negative assessment. [because i liked happy texts; still do!] My mom looked it over and asked me how I would feel if it had been my poem.

I changed it. Sure, I included the flaws but used the Sandwich technique to insert them between the merits. And that changed the tone of my essay entirely. I aced the homework but more importantly I learnt a life lesson- how to deliver ‘a critique’ : with careful choice of words and empathy. (Like my mom did with my essay)

Talking about great ideas, I recently read about the technique of ‘feedforward‘ on Marshall Goldsmith’s blog! What a fabulous idea! I am definitely choosing this strategy for advising, critiquing or giving feedback!

On that note, please leave your comments and suggestions for improving this blog and my writing. Feedforward please!