Fear & Motherhood

If you are anything like me, you have stopped watching the news. My husband had to make me to stop tuning in because I was starting to get sad all the time. I mean, how could you not? It is devastating to see everything going on around the globe. I was even starting to feel guilty for living a happy life. I thought, if so many people are suffering, how could I be happy?

It is important to know what is going on in the world so I constantly read trending topics on Facebook and talk about current events at work. But when things start to get too strong, I will remove myself from learning any further. That is, until today.

Today I realized that I have been living my life in fear. In fear of the truth, in fear of the what ifs, in fear that something big is going to happen and we might not survive. When I take the NYC subway to work in the morning, I am always on the look out because of fear. This horrible (and annoying) thing called fear has been taking over my life.

But it shouldn’t any longer. Why? Because I am a mother. Now, I am not saying I will never be afraid because knowing myself, well, that is just not going to happen. But I am saying that us mothers should try our very best to not live in fear.

Let me tell you why:

We pass fear on to our children. Growing up, my mother would take me to the emergency room for anything. She feared so much that something would happen to me that she had to have a doctor see me immediately for any little pain. When I went to my first prenatal appointment during my first pregnancy the doctor asked why did I go to the ER six times in the last year and (with a very stern and scary voice) told me not to do that with my kid. Errrr… talk about embarrassing. But my mother passed that fear on to me. Now, fear is something normal but we want to avoid raising children who live in constant, irrational fear.

Stress and anxiety sky rocket. I have never felt so much anxiety as I have in the past year and I blame it all on the fear I have been having. When I feel anxious, I need me time. Like, just me and nobody else time. I don’t know about you, but I cannot assist my children when I am sitting alone in a room taking deep breaths and drinking water.

You can’t enjoy the now. I am just speaking from my own personal experience. But when I am living in fear, I can’t focus on enjoying the moment. My mind is constantly thinking about the what ifs. Just remember, right now you are okay. Right now your family is okay. Right now is a great moment to sit back, relax, and enjoy your family.

There isn’t much we can do. Somethings are just out of our control.

There is hope. As Mr. Rogers once said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things on the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people helping.'” I am a firm believer that there is more good than there is bad. Unfortunately, the bad overshadows the good. But there are always people there to help. You and your family will not be alone.

The future is uncertain. We truly do not know what will happen tomorrow. But one thing we are sure of is now. I encourage you to enjoy today and this very moment. I also encourage you to make a plan in case something big does happen. We shouldn’t live in fear but we should be ready for any disaster.