The secret to happiness could be about embracing your desired emotions

Could the key to happiness be more than simply feeling pleasure and avoiding pain? Research published in the American Psychological Association, called The Secret to Happiness: Feeling Good or Feeling Right, suggests that we could be happier when we actually pursue and express desired emotions – even when they're negative. In fact, the study's authors believe "happiness is about having experiences that are meaningful and valuable, including emotions that you think are the right ones to have."

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The study may shed some light on the unrealistic expectations that many people have about their own feelings, say researchers.

According to a press release, Maya Tamir a psychology professor at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem and lead researcher said:

"Happiness is more than simply feeling pleasure and avoiding pain. Happiness is about having experiences that are meaningful and valuable, including emotions that you think are the right ones to have… All emotions can be positive in some contexts and negative in others, regardless of whether they are pleasant or unpleasant."

The study looked at over 2,300 students across eight countries. 11% of participants want to feel less positive emotion, e.g. love or empathy, while 10% wanted to feel less negative emotion. For example, someone who feels no anger when reading about child abuse might think they should be angrier, so wants to feel more anger than they do in that moment, Dr Tamir explained. Or a woman who wants to leave an abusive partner but isn't willing to do so may be happier if she loved him less, she suggested.

The researchers looked at the desired emotions of participants and the ones that they actually felt in day-to-day life, as well as life satisfaction and depressive symptoms. The study found that across all eight countries, participants who experienced more of the particular emotions they desired – positive and negative - reported better life satisfaction.

The study reads:

"Although we found that people across cultures differ in the emotions they experience and desire, people were generally happier the more their emotional experiences matched the emotions they desired."

Dr Tamir said that further research is needed to prove whether feeling your desired emotions directly improves happiness or whether it's simply related to some degree. The study also only looked at 'negative self-enhancing emotions', such as hate or anger. Sadness, fear and guilt were not included in the research.

"People want to feel very good all the time in Western cultures, especially in the United States… Even if they feel good most of the time, they may still think that they should feel even better, which might make them less happy overall."

The research was published online in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.

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