Friday, June 26, 2015

summer, man. it's hot as balls in Seattle, which is totally fine because Gemma has swimming lessons at an outdoor pool 4 days a week. after a morning of playing in the sun, i so look forward to nap time when i can shut the blinds, eat my cheese sandwich and watch the new season of OITNB. holler!

i've got some random shit in my brain this fine afternoon, so i thought it would be nice and vain of me if i popped (hahhaa i just typed "pooped" on accident) in and let you all know what exactly that random shit is.

1. #summer

2. can someone please tell me why all of the employees at PetSmart have blue hair (like legit blue, not old person blue) and face piercings?? this trend is making me feel seriously out of the loop.

3. do you know where my son sleeps at night? he sleeps in the kitchen. we sleep trained him at 6 months and then he got sick and i let him nurse 48x/night and then we sort of let the sleep training go. he is such a happy-go-lucky guy that his lack of sleeping through the night didn't bother me. now he's nearly 9 months old and i'm tired, dammit. we are currently on night 5 of him sleeping from 7pm-6am, but Gemma sleeps from 8pm-7am and really enjoys waking him up at night when she gets into bed (coughing loudly, scream singing and kicking the wall are her favorite forms of night assholery). in the morning when he wakes up, Beau sighs heavily and yells "DAAAAAAAAA! BAAAAAA! MAMAMAMAMAAAAA!" until Gemma grumpily says, "BEAU. just. be. quiet. GO BACK TO SLEEP." and Beau laughs. justice! an eye for an eye. anyway, the kids sharing a room has come with its challenges. i know it has been wonderful for many families, so i remain hopeful. plus it really is cute when they are in there together talking to each other. warms a mother's heart.

4. i am ALL about baked zucchini lately. i'm going to give you my extremely complicated recipe: i slice it thinly, spread the slices on a cookie sheet, drizzle with olive oil, top with salt, pepper and a sprinkle of parmesan. bake at 350 for 30 minutes, and OHMYGOD they're practically like potato chips!

5. Cleo had a portrait session. the likeness is incredible, isn't it? i missed my calling as a chalk artist.

6. Gemma is obsessed with Kinetic Sand. it keeps her entertained for 40 minutes at a time. the only other thing that keeps her occupied that long is TV. also, that is Elsa dress #3. -__-

7. Gemma has the opposite problem of most people and always has to poop when we aren't home. more often than not we find ourselves in unavoidable shituations. by the time she tells us she has to go, the turd is def touching cotton, so we have no choice but to let her do her business right then and there. we had photos taken recently at the beach and JJ refused to take her into the porta-potty "THAT'S WHERE HOOKERS DO HEROIN, LACIE" so she pooped on the grass. just took a big fat dump on the grass like a dog. in his defense, she told us she only had to go tinkle. the poop was a surprise. and just last week we went blueberry picking with my mom and sister. G ate too many bluebs and had to do the duty. the only option was a porta-potty that i'm 100% sure hadn't been cleaned since 1984. so i basically just held her tiny bum over the reeking hole until she was done. omg so gross. and then she had the audacity to ask ME, "did you toot, mama? it stinks."

8. nothing depicts childhood quite like a collection of dirty band-aids covering a 3-year-old's legs after eating shit at the playground.

9. old man Hansen is at it again with his flowers this summer. he's been feeding them miracle grow and takes pictures of the growth every week. he has more photos of petunias in his phone than his own children. if you happen to come over to our house this summer, do me a solid and mention the beautiful flowers. the only thing JJ loves more than the flowers is people commenting on the flowers.

Friday, June 12, 2015

our house is a tiny little house. when i was pregnant with Beau, the neighbors across the street asked me, "where are you going to put another baby in your house?!" i laughed and told them the kids were going to share a room. we have plenty of room for Beau! don't get me wrong, things are tight up in this bitch, and we have dreams of expanding, but we adore our tiny little house and it's perfect for us right now.

when we brought our sweet baby boy home, we still had the vintage Barbie prints hanging over the crib. there they hung for far too long (second baby, yo). we finally got around to making his side a bit more masculine to balance out Gemma's super-girlie side, without sacrificing a somewhat cohesive feel to the room. 'twas a challenge, but i love the way it turned out. per usual, thanks to my pal Sandi for taking these pictures!

i love these prints. they are all so special to Little Beau Blue's story :)

HI GUY!

i lost years of my life trying to get these damn letters straight. and i promise they are. you just have to be looking at them from perrrrrrrfectly straight on. which just so happens to be nearly impossible to reach as a grown adult wielding a camera.

there it is! it has been the most perfect, cozy and peaceful little space for G&B.

if you want to see more of this room and its transitions, check here and here.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

so you'd like to keep at it with the obnoxious vacay photos? well HERE YA GO!

we were up bright and early the next day in order to make use of the extra magic hour we were awarded for staying at the Disneyland Hotel.

while Gemma was sleeping, Mickey snuck into our room and left her a birthday present on her bed! her very own Elsa dress!

we did the Dumbo ride per JJ's request:

looked at the whale's sharp teeth:

"dis is NOT a whale, mama. he is a DOLPHIN"

got sickeningly dizzy on the teacups:

and then it was time for a little Birthday Surprise!

the

bippity

boppity

boutique!

it was the sweetest thing i have ever seen in my entire entire entire life. if you have a daughter who loves to do girlie things, put this on her bucket list. it was the BEST!

off to see Minnie:

and Mickey. so Beau could repeatedly smack him in the face:

then a few rides on Goofy's roller coaster!

we had some jalepeno cheese stuffed pretzels...one of the very few delicious food options Disneyland has to offer.

another is the giant pickle:

hugs for Dad.

my crew on the move!

we stopped to feed Beau and change his diaper and he peed all over the stroller, which leaked into the basket below, all over Elsa and the extra snacks. dammit! that sneaky little weenie!

as the afternoon wore on, our very own Elsa began to grow a bit frosty. she chose the discreet place of RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CASTLE to have a wicked good meltdown. so we hog tied her and dragged her out of the park strapped her to my back in the Ergo, where she PTFO within 20 seconds. i got the shit end of the stick on that one, as i had to walk roughly 400 miles while carrying her.

we sadly decided it was high time to head out. we reluctantly walked toward the exit. i bought a mug and we made our way to the car. when Gemma woke up, she was in the carseat and had peed her pants in her sleep. needless to say, the trip did not end on a high note for her. she sobbed and sobbed, "I DON'T WANNA LEAAAAAAVE!" it's hard to say goodbye to Dsienyland. it really is.

we had the best time! Disneyland is my place, man. JJ never really loved it before, but this trip definitely changed his tune. there's just something about seeing Disney through the eyes of your kids. so magical!! until next time, Mickey! we love you!

Saturday, June 6, 2015

last week we were strolling around Disneyland, filled with magic and happiness! this week i have a brand-new 3-year-old with an unhealthy attachment to an Elsa dress and an 8-month-old with croup. vacations can't ever end in the Hansen Household without a bang.

to celebrate Gemma's third birthday, we ditched the idea of throwing a party and we planned a little Disneyland getaway! JJ had a business meeting and we also wanted to make a trip down to visit JJ's family. three birds! one stone!

and before i go on, i have to give some thanks. first, one giant digital hug to my dear reader Adrienne for the set of Disneyland tickets! we talked about your kindness the whole trip. what a wonderful gift you gave our family! YOU. ARE. THE. BEST. we love you. next comes JJ. he bought me another set of Disneyland tickets for my birthday last year and we never got around to going in the fall like we had originally planned. it ended up being the perfect occasion to use them! and finally i have to thank JJ's parents who put us up for a night in the ever-so-fabulous Disneyland Hotel. Gemma loved it. every time we walked by the hotel, she would yell, "MAMA IS DAT ONE OUR ROOM IN MICKEY'S VERY TALL HOUSE?!?!"

and so, an irritatingly long post about the first day of our trip in one million pictures and some babbling:

arrive in Disneyland approximately 48 minutes behind schedule. Load up the stroller. READY TO GO AND EVERYONE IS SO FUCKIN JAZZED, ESPECIALLY BEAU:

i had read over and over again how important it was to arrive early in order to get fast passes to meet Anna and Elsa before they ran out. i thought we might have missed that boat entirely since we were late, but we decided to give it a try. when we got there, the employees working the Anna and Elsa fast pass machines said, "it is incredibly empty here this morning, go on in!" and then we waited FIVE WHOLE MINUTES THAT'S IT before Gemma's dreams came true:

she was completely star struck and stared at them very seriously. probably not too far off from how i would act if i ever met Zac Efron or Jim Carrey IRL. it was the most perfect way to start off our day! (and i'll add that a few hours later, the line to meet the Frozen Gals was 135 minutes long. we got so lucky!) *sidebar: can you even imagine if your job was being Elsa? so many smiling, adoring faces all day long. so many people to love you! but then like, your work day is over and you're you again. you walk to your car in a tshirt and flip flops and no one gives a shit about who you are anymore. talk about some highs and lows in one day! i wonder if the girl(s) who play Elsa is(are) in therapy?

we promptly walked straight into a store to buy Gemma an Elsa doll, as promised. and on we went! JJ was Eager Beaver about Cars Land, so we wandered over there to hang out with "Lightming" and the gang in Radiator Springs

we had time for a quick carousel ride before heading to Ariel's Grotto for brunch with the princesses, which was delightful(ly overpriced).

the little bent knee! with Ariel

"DAT'S RAPRETZEL!"

Snow White

Tiana "dat girl with the very big dress"

Cinderella

after paying $800 for shitty food (MY ONLY COMPLAINT ABOUT DISNEYLAND IS THE FOOD. WHYYYYYY IS IT SO SHITTY?!), we stopped for a romp in a giant treehouse:

some fun was had:

some Beausmirks were caught:

some kisses were given:

dramatic gestures were definitely not performed:

"BEAU YOU JUST STOP IT! STOP KICKIN' MEEEEEE!"

some popcorn was eaten:

some side-eye was given:

some sidewalk nursing was in order:

a lollipop was purchased, and SOME DANCING ENSUED:

we watched the parade. Beau cared not:

our dogs were barkin' at this point, so we opted to check into the hotel for a little bit of quiet and calm rest.

we popped back out for some dinner (a nap for B) in front of a fireplace before deciding to call it a night, as the next day we were set to be up with the sun!

there were two queen beds in our room and JJ enthusiastically asked Gemma, "do you want me to sleep with YOU tonight, buddy?!" Gemma immediately responded, "no Daddy! dis is my bed. you have to sleep with Mama." burn!