Cousins arrested after refusing to stop having sex during funeral ceremony

Talladega, AL | An Alabama couple has been arrested after refusing to stop having sexual intercourse during their grandmother’s funeral ceremony.

Tiffany Bates, 31, and Clifton Bridges, 19, who are in fact close relatives, were apprehended by Talladega County Police after employees of the Talladega Funeral Home complained that the couple was having “loud sex,” “perturbing funeral services” as well as “scaring the guests.”

Tiffany Bates and Clifton Bridges, who were both attending the funeral ceremony of their grandmother with other family members, decided to skip away from the funeral ceremony and indulge in sexual activities only meters away.

“We alerted Talladega police after several unsuccessful attempts to stop them from having sex on the property of the funeral home” explained Talladega Funeral Home employee, Jane Andrews.

“The woman just kept screaming and the boy just kept pounding her like he was in a porn movie. They both looked high as fudge,” said another employee.

Both suspects admitted being under the influence of amphetamines, GHB, and crystal meth when apprehended according to Talladega County Police Officer, Samuel Johnson.Loving cousinsApparently, Tiffany Bridges and Clifton Bridges are first cousins and had been living together as a couple for the past 6 months according to family members.

“There is no law against first cousins having consensual sexual relationships in Alabama, so no charges will be pressed on that account” Talladega County Deputy Sheriff, Adam Watts, said yesterday.

The couple faces 26 charges for lewd and lascivious behavior, disturbing the peace, obscenity in a public place and drug possession.

Logged

Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Of course we knew. Right guys? I mean, we were stringing Buzz along because clearly he didn't know. Just having some fun at Buzz' expense because we knew it was fake the whole time and we knew Buzz is easily taken in. So yeah....spotted that a mile off.

Guys?

Logged

Boy, giraffes are selfish. Just running around, looking out for #1....getting hit by lightning.....

That’s the thing about the internet and all of these humor blogs. They tend to hook the old people. You’d think the “quote of the year” would give it away. But for those bordering on senility, it doesn’t register.

But why can’t you just let these morons have their fun?

More importantly, you need to be Liking posts in your birthday thread. Not poking fun at our elderly