Nabalzatal is a drug used by women with spouses addicted to any of the following maladies: ESPN, a nefarious substance known as Pron, or the insidious DTV. This medication effectively shrinks the male genitalia into small pea sized organs, which serve no discernible function, causing men to willingly give up their addictions to the aforementioned substances. This medication has not yet been cleared by the FDA (as of this writing, August 2009) and is usually purchased through an underground network of frustrated wives.

Treatment methods vary, but method of intake is exceedingly simple. Nabalzatal is flavorless, and can be mixed into most food substances, while remaining impossible to detect by sight or smell. Despite information to the contrary, it is widely believed to work well when taken in conjunction with alcohol.

Side effects are generally mild, and may include: insecurity, shameless crying, a liking for Enya songs, and spontaneous shrinkage.

"Well, Scott was a couch potato too, but I put Nabalzatal into the pasta a couple nights, and now he begs to do the shopping!"