About me

My name is Andi, I was born in June 1993, I’m 20ish years old, saying this means I won’t need to update it again until I get to 25ish!

I live in France with my baby boy, and I have another son who social services sent away from me because I was wrongly diagnosed with Apsergus Syndrome. My first son is called Neil and was born 10 weeks early in 2011, when I was 17. This scared me and made if hard for me to bond with him, the whole day I was meant to be pumping milk off and it didn’t leave me much time to do anything else.
My second son, Alexandros was overdue and was born when I was 19, not long after I’d moved to France. His pregnancy was so much easier because I wasn’t ill and I only found out 17 weeks before giving birth! That was a very big surprise and I still don’t really know how I did 24 weeks of pregnancy without knowing.

I grew up in the south of England with a normal family of my mum and my dad, then later on my pet brother, he is and always will be my pet brother. I wanted a dog, I got him, therefore he’s my pet, but I love him really.
When I was 13 my dad got cancer and was very ill, eventually it killed him when I was 15, it was a very hard thing to go though and I still miss him. Watching someone dying is very difficult, and I was a teenager, which is never easy, but it was a horrible couple of years and I hope none of my children have to go through that.
I didn’t do normal school either, I was a mixture of homeschooling and out of school learning, I’m not a people person. I’ve always found it hard to learn from a teacher and I prefer learning alone as I concentrate better, that and I was bullied so it wasn’t safe for me to stay at school. That’s acutally left me nervous around people my own age, even to this day I’m not great with them.
I never made it through college because the first time I got kicked out for fighting, the second time I was really ill with morning sickness, and the third time I had to leave because of stress, I want to go back because I know I’m capable if I put the effort in, but for now it isn’t possible.

When I was 17 I moved out of my mum’s right up until I got pregnant six weeks later. Then I started vomiting, and vomiting, and vomiting, and then I didn’t stop vomiting, the result of this was I lost 14kg. Instant diet, yay! However it was because I was pregnant, even though my midwife said I was annorexic. When the vomiting didn’t stop I moved back in with my mum, I was so thin none of my clothing fitted, it was horrible. Then at 30 weeks and three days pregnant I had really bad constipation, or so I thought, turns out it was labour pains, so I gave birth to a scary little foetus. It was horrible, I couldn’t do anything for him, and I was scared to look at him and worried I’d lose him. That and I was tramatised by giving birth and disapointed I didn’t get the homebirth I’d organised and planned.
I spent six weeks pumping off my breast milk to feed him, but I was being pressured by everyone to give him bottles.
He did get better, but because I’d been misdiagnosed with Aspergus Sydrome and someone put in a few malicious refferals to social services they wanted to do a foster assesment with me and my at the time boyfriend, but they never bothered doing my assesment, they gave me a pathetic ammount of contact and there was always someone watch and criticising me when I held him and he slept and everything I did seemed to be wrong, then they stopped my contact for a year, that year is almost up, but I’m not sure they’ll be restarting it now I’m in France which is horrible. I just want to see my son, he’s my son after all, he’s only got the one mother.

The second time around I got pregnant and I didn’t notice for 24 weeks, impressive huh? Social services came to see me at 33 weeks and said everything was fine, I was even getting my homebirth and everything, then at 37 weeks and a day pregnant I got a letter saying they were taking my foetus at birth for adoption. I was horrorfied, I didn’t want to risk fighting it in the UK courts so I got a train to London and the Eurostar to Paris. It was the scariest journey of my life, not to mention there was a bomb scare and I only made my train by five minutes because the underground had been shut down. Since then I’ve been living in France, I had a six week parenting assesment and it turns out I’m a good mother who doesn’t have Aspergus Syndrome, I’m just a little awkward around people I don’t know and don’t like talking to people. Oh, and I have a little post natal depression, but it’s okay, I don’t get sad much, I keep going for Alexandros, he needs me.
I’ve been brestfeeding him since birth and I plan to do so at least until he gets teeth, and I use cloth nappies too. In Frace few women breast feed, most of the ones who do aren’t actually French, they’re African, and nobody uses washable nappies, but I don’t care, I’m doing it my way.

I like sewing, I love making my own clothing and baby clothes for my sons, I also like to knit. I don’t have my sewing machine at the moment and it’s one of the many things I miss, I still have my knitting needles but I never seem to find the time. I’m so proud when I see my kids in something beautiful that I’ve made.

I’m full of opinions, and I do things weirdly, like I’ve had two natural childbirths, although the second one was medically induced against my will. I’m trying to keep my second born paraben free, and without mineral oils and all that crap and I’ve been trying out cloth nappies. I want to live a life that’s not going to take the world away from my grandchildren. As it is humanity is pretty much fucked if we don’t sort out climate change.

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You are a very brave and inspirational young lady! I wish you much love and happiness with your beautiful little boy and I hope that one day soon you will be re-united with your other precious son. Please take it from a much older woman who has had many ups and downs in life…being a mum is the most important thing in the world! (I have two sons too). I wish you much happiness. Stay strong …xx

Oh wow, Andi… your life is anything but uneventful—not yet 25, but already endured so much heartache! Cancer took my dad after only 1/2 a year. I’d already been married/living out-of-province, by then… Still, it made life unbearable 😦 I hope your firstborn son will be returned to you soon, and that life’s struggles will ease up for you all! I’m so glad you found my blog, so that I could find yours 🙂 ♥ ❤

I need to update this page because so much has changed since. I’ve always joked about the uneventful life because mine is too complicated.
Things have slowly been getting better though. Thanks for your comment 🙂