Imagine that you have just entered a room
full of strangers. The room is buzzing with
conversation, canapes are being passed,
wine is flowing and your heart is pounding.
You are wondering, “Why in the world did
I agree to do this?”

Welcome to a networking event.

We all have varying degrees of anxiety
when we attend an event where we don’t
know anyone. It’s OK to feel uncomfortable. If you feel out of place, chances are
that others feel the same way. However,
whether an event is social or professional,
you can reduce your anxiety and make the
event more enjoyable.

First, plan to have a wonderful time.
Visualize yourself smiling, shaking hands and
talking to people who are excited to meet
you. Put on a positive attitude, a bright
smile and your best listening skills. Think of
yourself as a host and introduce yourself to
others; offer your name first and shake
hands. Introduce other people to each
other and make them more comfortable.

Take time to ease into the room and get
a feel for the event. Get a drink or sample
some food, but don’t do both at the same
time. Keep your right hand free to shake
hands with people you meet. Approach a
congenial-looking group and listen. Never
barge into a conversation. Wait for an
opportunity to comment on the subject
being discussed. Large groups are often easier to join because everyone will assume
you know one of them. Small groups can
be tough to break into, especially if they are
discussing something personal.

Be prepared for the question, “What do
you do?” Create your 30-second commercial — a personal sales pitch that will pique
interest and inspire further conversation —
before you go to the event. Make it short,
snappy and to the point. Focus on who you
are and what you have to offer. For example, “I’m a computer consultant specializing
in manufacturing information systems. I
work with businesses to increase productivity without increasing headcount.” This is a
first encounter, so avoid the hard sell.

Use small talk to break the ice and
warm up the conversation. Safe topics can
include current events, movies, vacations,
weather, sports and books. Before a meet-

your career,
your life

ing, read articles
about likely topics
of interest, such as
industry news. LINDA
Avoid off-color or CONKLIN
inappropriate jokes. Beware of dominating
the conversation — some of the best conversationalists do the least amount of talking.

Express genuine interest in the people
you meet. Get them talking about themselves, and they may think you are brilliant.
Have a few open-ended questions ready —
start with how, why, what or when to get the
conversation flowing. You might ask, “What
attracted you to this event?” Then listen,
really listen, to the answer. Don’t interrupt
or change the subject. Don’t appear distracted or as though you are looking
around the room for other prospects.

If you run out of things to talk about,
you can always give a compliment, which
can help establish rapport. Smile, look the
person in the eye, be sincere. You might say
something such as, “I always run out of
things to say at these events, but you seem
so at ease. How do you do it?”

A networking conversation should last
about 10 minutes, so you can meet many
people. Don’t monopolize someone’s time
and don’t allow yourself to be monopolized.
Learn how to exit gracefully. You might say,
“I enjoyed talking to you, but there are
some others I need to talk to. Please excuse
me.” Or simply, “I need to refill my drink.
Will you please excuse me?” It is easier to
extricate yourself if you first welcome
another person into the conversation so
you don’t leave someone standing alone.

A few other suggestions: Dress appropriately — it is better to be overdressed than
underdressed. Eat before the event; the
emphasis should be on meeting people and
making contacts, not the quality of the hors
d’oeuvres. Limit your alcohol intake. Focus
on making other people feel welcomed
and you will feel more comfortable, too. ■

Linda Conklin, GAA manager of Alumni Career
Services, provides career coaching and monthly teleclasses, including the April teleclass on networking. Contact her at (919) 962–3749 or
linda_conklin@unc.edu.
Her advice and other career-related information can be
found at
alumni.unc.edu/career.