Jim:"im just saying you cant be sure it wasn't you"
Dwight Schrute:"That's ridiculous,Of course it wasn't me
Jim:"Marijuana is a memory loss drug so maybe you just don't remember."
Dwight Schrute:"I would remember."
Jim:"well how could you if it just erased your memory?''
Dwight Schrute:"Thats not how it works"
Jim:"Now how do you know how it works?"
Dwight Schrute:"Knock it off, Im interviewing you"
JIm:"No, when i came in here you said i would be conducting this interview!!!! Now exactly how much pot did you smoke??"

Quite possibly the funniest person on the brilliant comedy, The Office. Dwight is a salesman for fictional paper company Dunder-Mifflin (played by the uber-talented Rainn Wilson). He is one of the best salemen but is socially awkard but nonetheless has great confidence in himself. He is very serious and quite guilable especially things that involve science fiction and magic. He is described by Wilson himself as a "Fascist Nerd" due to his love for power, repsect for Michael Scott, and love for shows like Battlestar Galactica.

Dwight: I now have both the strength of a grown man and a small baby. (after telling of his resorption of his twin in the womb)

Dwight: I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim’s life with a can of pepper spray I had velcrowed under my desk. People say, oh it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace. Well I say, it’s better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose.

Dwight: I would make sure that you were dead. I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips, so you could not be identified, and they would call me the Overkill Killer.
Michael: Okay, you are way creepier than an actual serial killer.

"Jim: No thanks.
Dwight Schrute: Stupid. Identity theft happens all the time. I could become you (snaps fingers) like that. But no one can become me.
Jim: No one wants to be you, Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Not true. And if they did, they couldn’t, because I’m password-protected.
Jim: What’s your password, “Frodo”?
Dwight Schrute: No. (Changes password.)
Jim: Did you just change it to “Gollum”?
Dwight Schrute: No. (Changes password again.)