Living life like everyone else

The first marriage license issued in Pike County to a same-sex couple went to Sean Strub and Racmel Javier Morales of Milford's historic Hotel Fauchère.

The first marriage license issued in Pike County to a same-sex couple went to Sean Strub and Racmel Javier Morales of Milford's historic Hotel Fauchère.

They have been together for 21 years, and their relationship is part of the story in Strub's recent book "Body Counts, A Memoir of Politics, Sex, AIDS, and Survival." The book is riveting and deeply personal.

So it was surprising when this public couple declined to be photographed or interviewed after Pennsylvania legalized same-sex marriage, other than to promote the hotel as a great place to have a wedding.

Both were completely gracious, but explained that it was private.

Another couple beaming while entering and exiting the courthouse, getting their long-awaited marriage license, also declined an interview.

It's private, they said.

Wait a minute! Don't you want to flaunt your gayness? Show a little gay pride maybe?

After all, a favorite complaint of homophobes is "I don't care what people do; just don't throw it in my face."

Well, nobody threw anything in anyone's face in Milford this week. Probably because the fight to marry has never been about advancing an agenda or a lifestyle.

It has always simply been about being treated with equality.

Starting this week, children growing up gay in Pennsylvania can dream without interruption of their wedding day. They can assume that finding unconditional love without shame will be a part of their future.

They won't have to describe why the right to marry matters because they will go to the courthouse for a marriage license without making the news.

Too many people have watched their partner's hair turn gray before being able to be legally married.

"I never believed it would happen in my lifetime," said Cary Giacalone, 59 of Dingman Township. He and his finally-fiancé Kris Jarmann, 54, got a marriage license in Milford this week.

It has been a long, loud fight, but it won't really be over until all states recognize that all people are created equally.

It is worth noting that for every activist fighting for the right to marry — holding signs, filing lawsuits or having public ceremonies — there are plenty of people who have privately waited for this day.

They will privately get married, live their private lives, and their marriages won't have an impact on anyone else because equality works every time it is tried.