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Happy belated birthday, America. Nevermind that your present came a day late. Maybe you were born a day too early.

In perhaps the most stunning opening to a World Cup final ever (except for that time Messi scored a hat trick in the opening 16' of a major international final...oh wait, that didn't happen), Carli Lloyd just picked up our nomination for player of the year and President of the United States with her unbelievable – seriously, we can't believe it – hat trick in the opening minutes of the USA-Japan final.

Feast your eyes on goal #3 or, as we like to call it, the moment the United States collectively lost its mind:

As you watch the above, bear in mind that Carli "I Came Here To Score Goals" Lloyd has another 45 minutes to score another hat trick. Not that we're entirely sure what it's called when you score 2 hat tricks in a row. Maybe a top-hat trick? Back-to-back hats? Someone will figure it out.

Either way, if it happens, we're immediately launching a Carli Lloyd super fan club. OK - to be honest - we're probably launching that club either way. Yep, we just did.

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Matt Jenkins jenkins@the18.com | @jenkinsIt's a rare sport that counts its fans in billions. It's an even rarer sport that counts as fans everyone from Prince William to Will Ferrell, Pope Francis to Russell Brand, Sheikh Mansour to Shakira...more