Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Button-Accent Sheath Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Happy Friday, everyone! I know a lot of readers really like New York & Company for workwear, and if you’re a fan you should check out their crazy end-of-season sales. This sheath dress caught my eye and looks like a really nice basic dress, particularly if the buttons hit right at your waist. (If you’ve got a much higher or lower waist, that might be a problem.) And you see a lot of crazy side slits these days, but I think the slit on this dress is perfect. It comes in black, blue, and pink in regular (XS–XXL), petite, and tall sizes, and it’s on sale for only $29 from $64.95. Button-Accent Sheath Dress

Comments

Last night, a good friend told me that she’s leaving her husband, although holding off on divorce. She’s apartment hunting for somewhere that can accommodate her plus three kids (ages 3-9). My question is: how can I best support her during this time? I definitely trust she’s making the right decision, but she’s getting a lot of pushback from other friends and family who don’t think she can do it on her own(she was only 20 when she got pregnant and has never been on her own.) For those of you who have been in a similar situation, what was the best thing friends did or should have done for you?

how you can support her: help her check out apartments; once she moves, offer free childcare/babysitting if she needs it; bringing over meals, any hand-me-down furniture or other home furnishings, and just a shoulder to lean on.

That’s exactly what I did last night when she told me. I really appreciate everyone’s perspectives on this! It going to be a difficult year for her, but hopefully she will come out stronger and happier.

+1 Just keep telling your friend there is nothing she cannot handle. I left my husband when I was 10 weeks pregnant. I did not think for one second that I would survive (although I knew I made the right decision). Without the support of my friends and family, I not only survived but I thrived.

I have a pretty flexible job that lets me make phone calls and surf the web during the work day with privacy. One of my friends who was going through a divorce did not. I searched online for apartments for her, made initial calls to see if they were still available and met her minimum criteria and then set up the appointment to view it on the weekend. I then went with her to view them. I did have a few people find it very strange I was calling instead of her and I just said my job allowed that flexibility while hers didn’t.

A very good friend, indeed! Fortunately, my friend has a flexible boss (she’s a bar manager). She had been a stay at home mom for most of the last decade, so the fact that she’s back at work is what’s empowering to go out on her own.

I am also in the same situeation. As another blonde lawyer, I helped my freind when she was divorcing her ex for haveing s-x with his secretary in their home while she was supposed to be takeing care of her mother. Her ex did NOT even care and kept at it even after she walked in to their bedroom to catch them in flagrente delecto! It is funny, but she wound up with the house, but she got a new bed and mattress b/c she could NOT fathom the idea of sleeping in the same bed that her husband was doing the dirty deed with his secretary! FOOEY!

If she has asked for advice, urge her to gather up as much cash as she can before she goes. Raid the joint accounts — they can sort it out later but she will need a lot of dough to set up housekeeping and who knows how cooperative he will be after she breaks the news?

I really, really miss the good old days when I could just ignore Trump because he was just a garbage human being with a reality t.v. show. Now it’s an endless nightmare that still, almost a year later, doesn’t seem quite real. He’s the president? Really? People WANTED him to be in charge? Some not insignificant portion of the population AGREES with what he says?

that’s my point. Trump wasn’t/isn’t qualified to be president and, to put it lightly, he’s doing our country a real disservice (on top of being a garbage person). a liberal celebrity president isn’t the fix – a qualified person with actual political experience is the fix.

Someone said this to me recently and although I kind of hate it, it’s 100% true: Being electable is a job qualification for the president. If you cannot get elected, then you are not qualified. If you can get elected, then you have met the #1 criterion of being president.

No it’s not true. That’s like saying ‘getting the job is the number one qualification for holding the job.’ By that logic, no one would get fired, there would be no malpractice suits of any kind, no stories about unfit teachers and babysitters… yes, being electable is a necessary qualification, just as being born in the US is, etc., but it is hardly the no. 1 criterion.

Also, a side note: we are generally terrible at predicting electability until after the fact. No one thought Trump would win, the main argument against Obama in the primaries was that he was not electable, John Kerry and Edwards were nominated precisely because the powers that be decided a war hero with a southern VP would win against Bush. You will almost always lose if you try to game this. And we don’t need to make our political system an even bigger joke by nominating Oprah or Tom Hanks or someone else completely inexperienced to run against Trump because ‘they can win.’

I’m a D, and the idea of Oprah running scares me. We need an experienced politician to run this country, not another celebrity. (I acknowledge that Oprah would be a lot better than our current president, but still doesn’t mean she has the experience necessary)

She runs a media empire though. And is entirely self-made. She’s a businesswoman and isn’t a mere celebrity. We have elected so, so many people who have never been in charge of anything (like I think being a mayor or governor should be a prerequisite if you don’t run your own company).

SRSLY — woman made herself a billionaire. How exactly is she not qualified?

Is this a serious question? Your premise is that being good at one difficult thing (or incredibly successful at it) means that you are qualified to do a totally different incredible difficult thing.
This is silly. Simply because she possesses some skills that a president also needs to have (by virtue of her business experience or that allowed her to achieve her success), this does NOT mean that she has the skills and experience necessary to do this job. Does she have any experience governing? Knowledge of how the government works? Understanding of the constitution and basic legal frameworks applicable to the job? Diplomacy? International relations?

I don’t get this logic. I actually think it would be harder for Oprah to win then others. She is a black woman, two big strikes against her in this country. As sick as it makes me, I think there are a lot of people who don’t like Trump, would be happy to vote against him, but will never vote for a black woman. If the concern is electability, then the Dems should put forth an old white man

I think, if we had a system of government where there was a head of state, whose duties were largely ceremonial, and a separate person who was in charge of running the government, then someone like Oprah might be a good choice for head of state (in part, because she can project a message of unity). But we don’t.

Just no. It is not the responsibility of Oprah or Michelle or Kamala, to fix this mess. This country doesn’t deserve them. How about one of the millions of white women who voted for him or who didn’t vote for him but didn’t talk their friends and family out of voting for him, step up to fix this mess. How about one of the elected democrats who sat back and did nothing while Barack was disparaged for 8 years (because of their own prejudices) step up and do something, as they are partly responsible for this mess. Black women and other magical negroes should be done being the beasts of burden in this country.

In what world do you think it is a woman’s job to talk her family and friends out voting for someone? I don’t like Trump either, but to say that I have responsibility for the actions of another human being, well, just no.

My ancestors: from India, raised by a single mother who is a high school graduate and worked low wage jobs her whole life to support me and my sister.

Me now: Ivy leave graduate, married to an Ivy league Indian immigrant whose parents are both high school graduates, went to law school on a full merit scholarship, former Big Law senior associate, now a well regarded appellate attorney who regularly argues in the 9th Circuit and other federal courts of appeals.

My great-grandparents or grandparents all immigrated in the 20th century, from Ireland, Wales, Germany and Mexico. My Mexican-Irish father, now about 80, was the first in his family to go to college and has a master’s degree. My paternal grandfather crossed the border at age 14 or 15 to avoid forced service during the Mexican civil war and did manual labor his entire life to support his 10 children. His grandchildren now include a lawyer, a web designer, an RN, a nonprofit housing agency administrator, a high-end chef, several teachers, and a number of entrepreneurs with thriving businesses.

I am from one of the -stans in Central Asia. My husband is from DPRK. I have JD/PhD and am biglaw, my husband has PhD/MBA and is an economist. We cannot vote (YET), but pay over 100k a year in fed taxes. Whee.

Does anyone have fit tips for NY&Co? I’m considering a big order of a bunch of their LS dresses – they have a few cute basics similar to this choice. I typically take a Tall in pants at BR, but wondering if NY&Co does long-waisted talls or just longer hemlines.

I worked there when they were first starting their tall and petite lines. We had a big training push that fit was a proportion, not a height. So the talls were slightly longer through the rise and the petites slightly shorter. Not as much as some places, but definitely noticeable. Also, size down if you order tall and up for petite, in other words, 10P=8R=6T.

Hiding in my office after being made fun of this morning, followed by an insincere “We only poke at you because you’re part of the team so don’t get your feelings hurt” half-apology. Weird, I thought we left middle school 20 years ago?

This is the first time I bought something after seeing it here! I seriously need new work clothes, too many of the dresses I’ve been wearing every week are starting to fall apart, or attract stubborn stains, or just not fitting anymore, and I’ve been wearing some of them for so long that I feel okay saying goodbye but I also know I need new dresses ASAP, and this looks like a solid candidate!

This is the time of year. Some of the sales are incredible right now, and I always find fall/winter clothing a better bet for work basics than spring/summer.

You might consider checking out higher priced stores for their clearance sales. I’ve found some great stuff deeply marked down at Neiman Marcus recently – basically lower end department store prices for higher end merch.

A recommendation for those of you looking for a jardigan-type piece– I bought this in black at Anthropologie the other day. It’s soft and comfortable, but polished-looking, especially in a business-casual environment. I also have the longer jardigan from MM Lafleur, and the anthro piece is much looser fit. Both fit nicely in my wardrobe!

I retired my last over the shoulder bag a year ago and never replaced it. I’ve been using crossbody bags, which I love, but I need a bigger/standard sized option (not a huge tote). I need it in the next 30 days as I’m attending my company’s annual conference whereby all partner-level employees (finance, not law, but same concept) come together for one part business/two parts boondoggle. My work laptop tote is too much, but I’ll be out and about and a crossbody is just too small, so it’s time to replace my retired one. There are about 20 women out of 300 attendees. More senior women will have Prada, Chanel, and other wow-factor brands. I don’t have that kind of money, nor do I want a bag like that.

I have give or take $500 to spend. I’m on the hunt for something I can put comfortably over my shoulder, isn’t “twee” in look or brand, but is clean, crisp, neutral and helps my pregnant self look more polished than I feel these days. Zip top not required.

The last bag I had was a number of seasons older version of this, which I found highly practical (not too big, but fit a ton, good interior pockets): http://www.coach.com/coach-edie-shoulder-bag-42/20334.html?dwvar_color=DKHGR

+1 to Dagne Dover. I posted here before that I got mine from ThredUp. The more I carry it, the more I love it. It truly is a bag for women who go places and do things and need to keep things organized.

I beat the heck out of my Dagne Dover work bag (charlie, in leather) and it still looks like new. Would highly recommend them. LK bennet also has some gorgeous things on DEEP discount at the moment – check the US site.
https://www.dagnedover.com/collections/all

I don’t know if you’re open to this but I bought a couple of truly vintage Coach shoulder bags on eBay – one in tan, one in black, and am reminded how great the brand used to be. I like a zip top but the classic flap style is easy to find too.

My 17 year old daughter immediately stole the tan one so I think that’s a high endorsement.

I really wanted a Dagne Dover bag but got an unbeatable deal on a Ted Baker bag that I love. It’s structured, not too heavy and sits on my shoulder. The only drawback is that there are no internal pockets but I use pouches to create my own internal storage.

If this is one of those things where purse game matters (because we can be grown women still in middle school), I’d suggest increasing the budget a bit (if possible) and going with Chloe. It’s significantly cheaper than Prada/Chanel and recognizable enough to the people that care. Alternatively, Cuyana is a good brand because everyone loves their bags (including the ladies with Prada/Chanel). You can get a much better bag there than Coach or Tory.

I’m in a professional ecosystem that sounds similar to yours and tend to also buy bags in the $300-500 range. If I was in the market for a bag right now, I’d buy the LK Bennett Regan. I also second others’ comments that you can’t go wrong with Cuyana.

I’m a die-hard Coach Edie fan, and I’ve passed on multiple higher priced brands because I love the clean look, size, and organization of the Edie. If the brand doesn’t matter for your situation, get another Edie. My whole seasonal purse rotation is various colors of Edie and the Michael Kors Jet Set Large Shoulder Bag.

I’m flying into the Charlottesville, VA airport tonight and arrive around 10pm. I need to get downtown/Belmont area. Uber or Taxi? I always like to ask because this is so airport specific (i.e. i would always recommend a taxi at LGA)

I took an Uber when I flew in there last year. No problems, very fast pickup.

There aren’t many flights that land there, so my (very chatty) driver said that he lives by the airport and times his night to the flight arrivals so he can pick up a fare at the airport, then bring them downtown where he then drives around drunk college kids all night.

You can apparently book taxis online at the CHO website, but I don’t know how well that works. This is definitely a case where, if you’re visiting someone with a car, I’d see if they could pick you up.

Oh also, while you’re waiting for a table at Mas (since they don’t take reservations and are always full), head to Tavola back bar (down the alley to the left of their main entrance) and get whatever the drink special is. Or you can’t go wrong with the browned butter washed Alpha & Omega.

I need tips on focusing at work! I started a new job at a very small company where I’m often alone in the office. When things are quiet, and there’s nobody around, I get distracted so easily and end up surfing the internet or scrolling through instagram or shopping online or refreshing this s!te…basically anything except working. Part of the problem is that I’m still easing into my role and don’t have a ton of stuff to do yet, but I feel guilty when I’m slacking off. Help.

Find some industry-related news sites or webinars for when you don’t have any other tasks, and install the Forest chrome plugin. Add this site, your most common shopping sites, fb, Pinterest, etc to the block list. Grow your little tree!

I’m attending a cousin’s wedding in February – dress code is “formal”. Any suggestions for dresses? I’m a person who wears a LOT of black, but that’s probably out for a wedding (right?), so my next go-to is grey, navy, or burgundy, but I just found out that the bridesmaids’ dresses are burgundy, so that’s out! I don’t really like floof or patterns, but am totally fine with some sparkle. Trying to spend less than $150, and I’d like to purchase it (rather than Rent the Runway) because I don’t own any formal dresses. The wedding is here in California (Oxnard) at a hotel, and knowing my cousin’s fiancee, will be pretty fancy. Thanks in advance!!

IMO, black is fine for weddings especially formal ones. I suppose if you are in a very traditional southern location, you’re better off with grey, but I have worn black to east coast weddings and not been the only one.

I’m a NY girl, went to a wedding recently in the south, was the only one in black but I felt and looked like *me* so I don’t regret it. Wear what makes you comfortable and confident. Black is also fancy.

I feel like Adrianna Papell gets recommended for this kind of event. There’s a ton of options on Amazon, but a lot of the longer ones are closer to $200.

Are you looking for something on the simpler side that you can wear again? There are some pretty dresses on Macy’s –

In navy: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-crepe-halter-gown?ID=2916271&CategoryID=5449#fn=SPECIAL_OCCASIONS%3DFormal%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D5867%26ruleId%3D96%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%7CBOOST%20ATTRIBUTE%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D16

In a gorgeous teal, with sparkle! https://www.macys.com/shop/product/lauren-ralph-lauren-keyhole-gown?ID=4852775&CategoryID=5449#fn=SPECIAL_OCCASIONS%3DFormal%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D5867%26ruleId%3D96%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%7CBOOST%20ATTRIBUTE%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D37

First of all, if black doesn’t “feel” right for a wedding, don’t wear it! Unless the dress code calls for it, then do. Just because it’s not a universal rule doesn’t mean it can’t be a personal preference. Navy is a great color for a wedding! If you’re open to other color suggestions, I might expand the search to include deep purples and emeraldy greens.

Not sure if this is formal enough, but this is what I wore to my friend’s wedding and I felt amazing in it! https://www.macys.com/shop/product/sl-fashions-embellished-tiered-shift-dress?ID=1480311&CategoryID=5449

Anyone use one or either: The ordinary’s AHA30% BHA2% v the Drunk Elephant sukari babyfacial? One is 7.20 for 30 ml vs 80$ for 50ml and I’m wondering other than the branding, if one works overall better than the other, particularly for combo-dry skin types.

I have not tried Drunk Elephant but recently did the Ordinary one. I can’t comment on how they compare to each other but I was was pleased with the effects of the ordinary. Baby soft skin after 10 minutes and to your point – $7. Give it a whirl?

I got a sample of DE from sephora and I loved it for the 3 uses it lasted me., but I probably won’t buy again as I just use the TLC framboos nightly. They’re apparently carrying Ordinary now, too, so see if you can grab a sample of that?

I love The Ordinary AHA/BHA and feel I got results similar to my last medi-spa mini peel, no lie. But, nothing I have gotten from The Ordinary has disappointed me yet. I’ve quit buying more-expensive products because why would I want to, when I can get the same results from The Ordinary at 1/3 the price (or less)? Put together a $25 get order so you can get free shipping and try it. I would recommend also trying the Buffet serum, any of the retinoids in squalene (I use 5% because I can tolerate it), and the azelaic acid, which really helped fade some old acne scars I had. I do not love the Vitamin C suspension with HA spheres because of the texture (very gritty, I can only use it if I mix it with another water-based moisturizer, which then apparently diminishes the effectiveness).

They usually wear uniforms, so I am not an expert kids’ clothes shopper. It’s all Lands End by mail for 90% of their clothes. Girls are very tall (one a bit stocky, one very very skinny).

I don’t need the kid version of Forever21, and would favor something more junior bridesmaid than promtastic. But where do I get kid sparkly fancy dresses (that is hopefully in a mall nearby and also hopefully not very expensive).

I know that Payless or DSW will be where we get shoes from for this, so that is covered.

My tall, skinny tween loves the brand “Love, Nickie Lew” at Nordstrom. You can often find their dresses at 40 to 50% off, bringing the price under $30. The styles are a little more sophisticated and less froofy, very age-appropriate for kids over 8.

My 8/yo received some adorable dresses at Gap, and my MIL purchased a few cute ones for her from J Crew. I’ll post links, may be a bit young depending on your girls’ taste. FWIW, my daughter will probably wear the rose gold one at the upcoming daddy daughter dance, too, w/ tights and a cardigan and some cheap glittery gold booties we found at old navy or whatever other fancy shoes fit her anymore.

Zara often has good options.
https://www.zara.com/us/en/shiny-tulle-party-dress-p01165734.html?v1=5328011&v2=541826
https://www.zara.com/us/en/sequin-dress-p00371706.html?v1=5330001&v2=541826
https://www.zara.com/us/en/polka-dot-tulle-party-dress-p05767720.html?v1=5363001&v2=541826

Has any used a billing supplemental program like Billing BFF? (horrible name, BTW) I’m looking for something similar that will keep track of how much I’ve billed and break down how much I need to bill per day to stay on track while accounting for holidays and vacations. Thanks!

No experience with fancy software, but I was able to set up a pretty simple spreadsheet to do this in Excel. If you’re just looking at total number of hours, and not some complex breakdown, you can set up columns for monthly totals, and then various columns after that that do the math on what the expected amount for each month would be, how far over/under you are, how many days/weeks/etc. of vacation that translates into, and what your daily/weekly/monthly hours should be for the rest of the year to hit target.

It seems that every professional I know who is on LinkedIn has 500+ contacts while I am well below 250. There are more people I know on LinkedIn, but I am holding back on sending contact requests because I feel it has been too long or the interaction was too cursory or some other reason why I think they might not remember me or if they do remember, that I’m not worthy of being a contact. Am I being overly restrictive? How do other people decide to make contact requests, and any tips on upping my number? I would love to reach 500 and then forget about it!

I don’t think the number matters a whole lot. I only have about 150 and haven’t had a problem getting jobs…People use LinkedIn in different ways and some people only add close connections. I think you’re overthinking it.

I was at 900 connections a couple of years ago and have been culling my connections list slowly. I’m now under 250 and happy with it. I had tons and tons of connections I had never met or really interacted with – disconnected from those people. People from high school who I hadn’t talked to since high school and who have low-level jobs in a different state than the one I live in – disconnected. People I met once at a conference 10 years ago and have never heard from again – disconnected. People from jobs I had 15 years ago who now live in another country – disconnected. I even had to disconnect from 5 people who I knew had died!

After I culled my connections, amazingly I stopped getting less spammy inMail and fewer connection requests from people I didn’t know, and my news feed showed me “news” from people I was actually interested in hearing about. It’s been great!

Let’s face it: regardless of what LinkedIn started out trying to be, it’s something different now. Most people I know barely use it. In looking at some people’s profiles, it was clear they hadn’t updated in years. Abd let’s face it – am I ever going to reach out to someone I don’t know or barely know for job help, through LinkedIn? I’ll ask people I know, who know me. Probably IRL.

So’t worry about getting to a certain number of connections, worry about making connections with people who matter and you’re actually interested in networking with. And if you want to network, join a non-profit board or professional organization. That will work for your career more effectively than LinkedIn.

You’re overthinking it. I scroll through my suggested contacts from time to time and click on “send request” for anyone I’ve ever met before, regardless of how long ago the interaction was. I’ve also requested people who I haven’t met but where we have a bunch of mutual contacts and are in the same industry.

I connect with anyone who adds me, and also periodically scroll through the “People You May Know” and add people. My criteria for adding people from that section is “Would I think it weird if I got a connection request from this person?”

Also, I can totally commiserate with your feeling – once I hit 400 connections, I was anxious to get to 500 so that my profile would switch to “500+” rather than displaying the actual number. But it all depends on what you want to use LinkedIn for – you might find that a network of 200 is more than enough, while someone like a recruiter can never have enough connections because they want broad reach.

Lastly, for the “LinkedIn doesn’t matter” crowd: I was an advisor to a start-up who was recruiting for a CEO. One of the things we did for each candidate from the search firm was to pull up their LinkedIn profile to see their number of connections and the “people also viewed” column – trying to get a sense of what their network is in and who they are associated with. I would have found it odd if someone at an executive level had fewer than 500 connections, and I want to see that a CEO is a known part of the industry ecosystem. This is a pretty specific use case but it does happen.

Help me shop? Sneakers seem to be trendy now so I’d like to take advantage of the opportunity to wear on-trend shoes that are actually good for my feet. I’ve never owned a pair for everyday wear so I have zero idea where to look or what to get. Like, what’s the difference between a typical workout shoe and fashionable sneakers? And what color should I get? I’ve seen a lot of white on pinterest… are people really wearing white shoes? Don’t they get all scuffed and icky looking? Help!

Stan Smiths are having a moment (but yes, the white part of the shoe will inevitably get dirty).

Basically anything you would wear to work out (running or cross training shoe) should not be worn casually (i.e. with jeans, while touristing, etc) unless you are comfortable being frumpy or you have foot health issues.

I wear trendy sneakers for this reason, and while they’re better than ballet flats, my workout shoes are notably more comfortable. Trendy sneakers tend to be low profile, with less support and padding throughout, and often have a lower vamp than a regular sneaker. If it’s your thing, Keds have a Rifle Paper collaboration with lovely floral all over their shoes; otherwise, go with white or a solid dark color. I have a black pair of New Balances that go with everything.

This has some good ideas. http://www.whowhatwear.com/sneaker-trends-2018/slide10

There’s a recent article in Racked called “Why Are Running Sneakers So Ugly?” which talks about the loud colors of actual workout shoes. Fashion sneakers tend to be either throwbacks to pre-running shoe styles, like Supergas or Chuck Taylors, or simpler, less colorful versions, like Pumas, Nike flyknits, or Vans.

White is a thing, but I wouldn’t do it. I like sneakers in either red, silver, or black. They go with all my clothes and I don’t worry about scuffs and stains.

I feel like sneakers are an area where you can get something cool that you like and to heck with trends. I, personally, would not recommend Stan Smiths because they are so ubiquitous that they are headed toward over (meaning looking dated in a year). I’d go for some kicks in colors that you love or with details that you love and not worry about it.

I think the difference between actual workout shoes and just sneakers is performance look. If they have super huge treads or crazy soles or something, they are probably for working out. Plus workout shoes will be more expensive.

+1 to all the suggestions NYNY makes although Chucks, Vans, and Supergas aren’t necessarily going to be good for your feet – they have very little cushioning. Call me a nerd but I also love (some) Keds.

I like a good, colorful, old skool (meaning not mesh fabric on top) New Balance. I like these – https://www.zappos.com/p/new-balance-classics-wl574-team-red-metallic-gold/product/8917201/color/704024

and also these: https://www.zappos.com/p/new-balance-classics-wl574-retro-sport-sea-salt-chinese-red/product/8869314/color/683053

And these – https://www.zappos.com/p/keds-double-decker-sequin-knit-black/product/8937371/color/3

I have Keds triple decker in a gray flannel like material. They are very comfortable, much more so than the regular keds. My regular Keds went to goodwill after two wearing a, while the triple deckers are my go to travel shoe, as well as for regular wear. They are about a year old and have held up well.

Simple Green, diluted. They make a “natural” line, but I use the regular, which works great (ie, no experience with their natural one). I don’t know what your (or the) definition of all natural is anymore, honestly!

Hi! I need a durable bag that can handle “harsh” use (commuting, being overstuffed, etc) but still look nice.
Has anyone used Cuyana bags? Quality? Durable?
Looking to spend around $200 on a durable leather cross body bag that can handle the above type of use.
Any other suggestions are welcome!

I’m from one of the states that asked the government to allow work requirements be tied to Medicaid. I’m a democrat and usually against these kinds of restrictions but even the liberal politicians in my state seem to be behind this. Here are some of their main talking points for why it is not overly burdensome. It exempts anyone caring for a child under 18, pregnant people, people who can’t work due to illness or disability, elderly people, people in treatment for addiction, people caring for a disabled or elderly family member. You can also substitute education/vocation programs, volunteer work, or a job search in place of the work requirement. I know in other states, people are pushing back hard at our state, and others, implementing this. I’m looking for some of the reasons this is such a bad requirement since I can’t get any dissent to read in my local press.

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far. It doesn’t address the transportation issue for rural people to get to work. They might not have the money to get a car. There are people that are too sick to work but that because of their illness don’t get to the doctor to get the certifications they need to be disabled. The disability standard isn’t yet defined well. Is it SSDI level disabled? Or any letter from a doctor disabled? Will the work put them over the income limit to receive Medicaid but not make them enough money to afford healthcare through work or privately?

A good portion of people probably work under the table too and that won’t count. I’m not really against stopping that though since most employers that force under the table labor are taking advantage of their employees.

I guess the number one reason I can think of to be against it is people have a really hard time navigating the system as is. The more hoops and red tape you add, the more people will just not bother even if it is to their own detriment. We will all pay more when these people are uninsured.

I’ll also add that I don’t believe there are tons of people out there just happily collecting benefits and not working forever. I don’t buy the rhetoric that they need to be taught the pride of a hard days work. I think this requirement is to fix a non-problem in the first place.

Right, I think that this push ignores the fact that a majority of non-elderly adults on Medicaid are working and that this doesn’t touch the bigger buckets of Medicaid spend on those who can’t work (elderly, disabled, children). Can you maybe shave some money off with this back to work initiative? Perhaps. I don’t think it’s the savior its being marketed as.
One of the most eye opening things I did last year was particapte in a poverty simulation experiment put on by a local non-profit. I highly encourage people to take one if the opportunity is offered in your area.

Aside from the many moral arguments, it’s a complete waste of money to implement all these checks, money that is better spent elsewhere. Are there really numbers that support this idea that all of these able-bodied adults with no one to care for and no medical issues are completely refusing to job search or work on education because government benefits are so great? What are their numbers? How much will it cause to have to complicated program spun up?

And enforcement of this requirement – which will only apply to a small percentage of Medicaid beneficiaries – will be expensive. I doubt that there will be a new revenue stream to fund enforcement, so it just means less money for benefits. With Paul Ryan salivating to cut funding for social safety net programs, anything that diverts Medicaid funding from providing patient care is a distraction.

Setting aside my personal belief that people should not die or suffer for lack of health insurance and my belief that providing access to preventative care reduces the costs for everyone because it cuts down on the amount of emergency care for which hospitals are not paid (and for which we all pay indirectly because the hospitals pass it along) and the number of people who end up collecting SSI when they become disabled as a result of a preventable or treatable condition – the number of adult Medicaid beneficiaries who can work but chose not to is so small (especially when you start excluding everyone with a child under 18) and the costs of administering a program like this one are so huge that I just do not see it paying for itself. It just creates a whole new level of bureaucracy for people who are already challenged to navigate.

My husband and I are having a disagreement about the type of bag that professional women use. I recently bought a Lo & Sons Seville and he insisted that “no one” carries leather totes anymore. Please give me some data to confirm or refute his claim:

Until recently I carried: Leather Fossil tote + company issued laptop bag
Now: Lululemon Everywhere Backpack 17L (on sale right now) which has a dedicated laptop sleeve. I put my wallet/phone/keys in my coat pocket if I need to run into a store since I always have one on this time of year.
– Work in advertising operations
– 20’s

If I have a meeting I swap to the leather tote by itself (it does fit my laptop if not full)

Every day laptop bag: for commuting, backpack #backpackislife, Dagne Dover once at work, Cuyana leather tote on the weekends
Travel bag: Lo & Sons OMG
Occupation: media specialist/spokesperson in the town with the big white House in the middle
Age decade: late 20’s

I carry my laptop in my everyday bag which is a Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM in damier brown print. I guess its not technically leather. When I travel its the bag I use. I am a marketing manager in a large medical device company. I am 35.

My bag was a gift and I had asked for a bag very similar (saffiano leather) to the Lo and Sons. FWIW I think your husband is wrong.

I’m an IT consultant and I don’t know a single woman who carries a company-issued laptop bag that is not a backpack. I do see a lot of backpacks in IT. However, in other fields I see more totes and I have carried a tote myself for years. Laptop bags don’t hold enough and so you have to carry a separate purse which doesn’t work for most air travel (unless you stuff your purse in your suitcase). I have several colleagues that are young women in their 20s that live/work in NY and they all carry totes or backpacks.

Also, literally no one carries the company-issued laptop bag. I have one as does everyone else in my firm; it has our logo on it and I’ve never seen anyone use it. I’ve worked with… probably 300+ of our attorneys nationwide.

Fwiw I carry a Tumi for work and professional travel. I think non-leather has become more popular because it’s lightweight and doesn’t scuff but I see plenty of leather bags too. Mid-30s, lawyer.

I’m a lawyer, and I have never see a female attorney carry a company-issued laptop bag. I’ve seen a backpack or two, but the fancy, highend ones. I rarely see either on the metro on people who appear dressed for work (i.e. not students with backpacks), but once in a while.

Yeah, I threw out the company laptop bag years ago. Not only was it ugly, but it weighed 20 lbs. Husband is an IT consultant in insurance industry…so maybe that’s it! I’m a consulting manager in software/analytics.

You can pry it out of my cold, dead hands. Cuyana zip leather tote every day. My anecdata supports you – in downtown SF I’d say I see my bag everywhere, carried by women of all ages. I appreciate the monogram option for this reason.

When I’m home, I carry the cuyana zip leather tote too. Mine still has my maiden name initials- eventually I will get another (loving that burgundy color!) with my new initials. I have a neoprene sleeve for my laptop, and everything else is organized in cosmetics bags. I usually use the small lululemon bags for lunches and put that inside my cuyana tote or carry it separately.

When I’m traveling, either the OMG or the company issued patagonia backpack, depending on length of trip. I’ve been eyeing the dagne dover legend tote for more formal meetings, as the OMG is easy to overstuff and look sloppy.

everyday bag with laptop – Longchamp tote (the fancy one with the thicker sides and black leather handles)
sometimes I do my neverfull, DM like Ranon above
I’ve tried the backpack + purse as well
I’ve also loved my MK jetset saffiano leather (like a leather neverfull with laptop padding)
I’m not stuffing my laptop into my prada although I have coworkers who do.

– Don’t carry a laptop on the daily, but if I did it would fit in my Dagne Dover (not sure name of it now but it’s the 13″ w/ no fold down handles.) It’s coated vinyl w/ leather handles.
– I travel w/ Dagne plus a clutch for evening events.
– Financial ad visor (and also mom which I do believe is relevant to bag choice.)
– Age 30

My next bag will be Dagne Dover’s Allyn in oxblood whenever it’s back in stock. (Leather)

-Alternate between two stella and dot bags, which are leather (ish) and a corded canvas (like ottoman?)
-Travel bag is the same; just a laptop in a sleeve, in the bag
-Attorney working in higher ed admin
-32

My every day bag is a Frye black leather tote (the casey, I believe). I also use a black leather tote from Artifact in Omaha for my overflow. When I travel/fly I take a backback and a small crossbody. 39 year old in house counsel.

Sometimes for travel I use a braided faux-leather backpack. The only person I have seen carry a backpack for business is my sister-in-law who is super-high-up in Biglaw, a sleek and pricey Tumi. Never have I ever seen a female professional carry a company-logo laptop bag.

– Hunting for a new one – likely Tumi leather/saffiano leather
– I bought the Lo & Sons OMG (OG?) because of recs here. I use it for travel, but strongly dislike it. It’s not crisp, looks like a diaper bag. If I get the Tumi from above, I’ll use that here also.
– I-banking
– 30s
– Your husband is wrong.

I don’t usually carry a laptop anymore, as my new workplace uses desktops (and I’ll remote in from my personal laptop when necessary), but my standard bags are all capable of carrying a laptop if needed:

Late to the party on this one:
A Tumi sinclair nina in gull grey, matching to the sinclair blair for travel. Columbia backpack for travel if it’s more than a 5 day trip. 30s. No one looks at your bag in tech. What your laptop and daily driver operating system matters way more.

This week, I was traveling with a team of otherwise all male sales and ops people from my organization. Our company had sent an email to everyone earlier in the week, reminding us to be budget conscious when traveling. When I arrived at the hotel, I opted for the self park option (1/3 of the cost of valet, and the parking structure looked really safe and was right next to the hotel). When we went to check out this morning, guess who was the ONLY one who didn’t valet?

I cant help thinking this is gender related- that I was the only woman and I was the only one trying to save the (admittedly, huge and definitely not financially hurting) company any money.

Yep, things like this were very common when I worked in Big Law. Definitely splits along gender lines.
And I’m not sure I agree with Anon above about opportunity cost – whenever I’ve valeted I’ve always had to wait a long time for them to retrieve my car. Unless the parking structure is a mile or more away, walking and getting my own car is usually faster.

If it’s not policy, but just a reminder, to opt for self-park then I would valet every time, too. If the higher ups aren’t interested in developing a true policy, then I don’t go out of my way to make it less expensive for the company unless I’m getting something out of it.

There are ways for a company to be budget-conscious that don’t require everyone to guess at what is appropriate and what is not.

Some companies will give the employee a portion of the saved money back as a bonus. So if self-park was $75 and valet was $225, the person who did self-parking would get half of the savings ($75) to take home. That way, the company saves money and the person has an incentive to save money.

The other thing to do is to sit down with the most senior person present and ask them to make changes appropriate to the trip. Trust me, it doesn’t take many times to fly business class when the SVP is in coach, or valeting your car when the head honcho self-parked, to tone it down.

I am craving something different for my hair and have an appointment in two weeks. Currently, it’s a deep red (although not wine red, more auburn?) with it lifted gradually at the bottom to a lighter almost blonde color. The cut is a slightly angled bob. I know this color style is off-trend and my hairstylist is itching to get rid of it – haha. In the past, I have done a very deep auburn red on the top with a very dark, almost black, red underneath. I feel that is probably dated also. My skin is fair with pink undertones and I have hazel (green leaning) eyes. My eyebrows and natural hair color are on the darker side of what I call mouse brown.

Red suits me, but been there done that. I don’t want to go light because of maintenance, which I suppose only really leaves me with a rich brown. I haven’t been a brunette since I was 15 (22 years ago). Do I go back to that? HALPPPP ME

Oooooh. I like the last suggestion. I know that any color will apply slightly unevenly due to the lifting on the ends, but I can avoid that until it grows out. Would love a hidden purple streak! It would have to be hidden because of the work dress code, sadly.

Agreed & personally, I would kill to be able to be a dark brown brunette (waaayy too much maintenance for me as my hair is naturally blonde). I think that sounds like a great option. I also think people look best with amplified versions of their natural color.

Thanks everyone! I know my current hair is out of style, but I manage to get away with it because I do not live in a place that could even remotely be called trendy. HA! However, I agree it’s time to get rid of it. You all have convinced me to go very rich brown and I will try to talk my stylist into the hidden purple streak!!

Sounds like we have exactly the same natural hair color, skin tone, and eyes. I dye my hair a medium auburn and constantly get compliments on the color. Have you thought about just going regular medium auburn without the two-tone?

My warmest is made by Pajar. I’ll post the link below. I think it’s overkill for all but the coldest days in Chicago, honestly- I wear it only when it’s below 15 degrees farenheit or so. It’s much warmer than Canada goose – partly because the hood is lined (not just trimmed) with rabbit fur. It’s very, very heavy, so I appreciate the internal suspenders.

Not down, but insulated and water/wind-proof with the most glorious hood I’ve experienced (hood does snap off for times you don’t want/need it)… Lands End Women’s Squall Insulated Parka: https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-squall-insulated-parka/id_320965?sku_0=::3LC

Mine’s a few years old so not exactly the same as the listing, but I have worn this in -30*F windchills with only a blouse/thin cardigan under, and my upper body was toasty warm. (Obviously also wearing gloves/scarf/etc)

I’m Canadian, live in a very harsh climate, and I take winter coats seriously. Canada Goose is the best I’ve ever had. Yes, they’re trendy and very pricey, but I adore mine. I got a long one so it goes almost to my ankles. The hood is the best part about it. It completely blocks the wind from my face thanks to the fur. I never wear a hat in the winter, I just use the hood. Also, I’ve experienced crappy zippers on some other brands (North Face and Lands End come to mine) but the zipper on my Goose is great quality.

Has Canada Goose gone way up in price now that it’s super trendy? We had those coats when I was growing up 20 years ago and I can’t imagine my frugal parents spending $900 on a coat. They were willing to spend money on quality clothing that would last (from stores like LL Bean, but even that they would refer to as ‘expensive’)…

North Face! I got this one to replace my Lands End parka when I wanted something with a liiiiitle more shape. I like that the down pockets are shaped, and not just the quilted squares. This baby got me through the Boston Snowpocalypse of 2015! https://www.thenorthface.com/shop/womens-miss-metro-parka

Huge, Huge, Huge fan of the Eddie Bauer Sun Valley Parka. It’s very warm. It’s the coat I wear daily when it is VERY COLD in Boston. I love it because it comes in a ton of colors, petites, talls and plusses and it’s often on sale. You will not regret it. Also, the paneling is flattering. It is thicker, but that’s what makes it so warm! I’ve had mine several winters and it’s holding up well.

Anyone with a pixie manage to shower at night instead of in the mornings? Wondering if it just isn’t possible for my hair type.

My fine, ultra straight hair pixie is still something I am getting used to. So far – I wash it every morning, using shampoo one day and a conditioner/shampoo thing the next day. Then I add a leave in spray, blow it dry, and use various products. Usually, I wake up with crazy hair the next day, before I get in the shower.

Do any of you wash your pixies at night, maybe don’t put in product, and somehow style/revive them the next morning?

Yes. I do this sometimes, but I prefer showering in the am. I do find that I need to wet my hair and style as I would after a shower. Also, check out bandlands dry shampoo. The brand is something like R Co? It’s more like a paste or texturizer. It was a game changer for my fine hair pixie.

My stylist told me after using my wax/goo to style, to just end with some baby powder (which he called dry shampoo and said it is cheaper to use than an actual dry shampoo) to remove some of the stickiness and give it a little more body. But I have never tried dry shampoo on its own.

Actually, it doesn’t turn my hair gluey at all. Maybe it depends on your hair and what products you are using. And my hairdresser said that baby powder is the main ingredient of dry shampoos. He has told me it isn’t worth paying more for dry shampoos.

My hairdresser is great for recommending cheap dupe products. His recs are very economical. He has run his own salon in Chicago for decades.

+1. This is what I do on the rare morning when my pixie isn’t completely crazy. Unfortunately, it’s not foolproof and I can’t reliably fix my pixie cut every morning this way. My hair is usually easier to style and looks better after washing in the morning.

Have you tried wetting your hair with a spray bottle in the morning? It’s a pain to get it properly soaked that way (wear a towel around your neck!) but still less time than a full shower, and you might be able to spot-fix bed hair without wetting it all. That worked for me at least sometimes when I had a pixie–it depended on how long it was.

In case it’s helpful, I also have a fine, ultra straight hair pixie, and this is how I handle my hair for minimal a.m. maintenance.

Morning, Day 1: Shampoo, condition, blow dry

Morning, Day 2: Rinse off in the shower and don’t get my whole head wet, but my hair gets a bit damp regardless, and then when I get out of the shower I run my wet hands through my hair to kind of reshape it how I want. If there is a particular area that is not behaving, I’ll wait until it dries 5 minutes after I get out of the shower and then spray the roots with some Living Proof Full Dry Volume Blast (this stuff is magical) and then run my fingers through it to reshape it.

Morning, Day 3: Repeat Day 2 with maybe a little dry shampoo in this one area of my bangs that tends to get greasy. For dry shampoo, I am currently using a random mini one from Sephora (don’t even remember what it is) and it lasts forever because I use it sparingly and only on greasy spots.

At the beginning, you’ll have to train your hair to be shampooed only every other day, so you may have to use dry shampoo liberally on your non-shampoo day. It shouldn’t take that long for your hair to get used to it though and then you can train it to go a third day. I now shampoo my hair only every 3-4 days and my morning hair maintenance is literally 30 seconds on mornings where I’m not shampooing. On mornings where I am shampooing, it’s only an extra 5 minutes to blowdry.

In summary, if you train your hair to go longer without shampooing, you will find you basically need to do nothing with your hair on most mornings.

I have the Longest Lands End Coat and it is not chic but I love it because it is warm, and when it is 10 degrees, who gives an F? I have a more “cute” but less warm North Face coat that I wear more in the 30s and 40s.

Any scripts for rejecting some guy who’s way senior/older than me (though not having direct power over me) who I talked to at his company’s holiday party and who felt inexplicably that it was a good idea to ask me out afterward? Haven’t responded yet. I’m a client of his company though don’t work with him directly–he’s a senior partner.

I don’t see just ignoring someone who asks you out in IRL (unlike a online dating query), so this calls for a polite rejection. Maybe something like, “thank you for the invitation, but I make it a practice not to date anyone in firms I work with” (if that’s true), or “thank you for the invitation, but I just don’t see us as a potential match.” (I had to say something like this to the older friend of my law partner who asked me out –
after he handled my divorce. Bleh, indeed.)

Don’t give him any hope of the possibility for the future. I had this happen with someone who worked at the same company as me, but who I only rarely came in contact with. “Thank you for the invitation, but I must decline.” You do not owe him an explanation, nor should you give him any hope for the future.

“No, thank you.” I might even add “I’m not interested you that way” or “I’m not feeling it.”

I recommend not making excuses to spare his feelings. “I don’t date coworkers” leaves the door open for him to ask again when he leaves, or you leave, and he may expect a yes now that the reason you wouldn’t date him is no longer an issue.

I just sent over a writing sample to a potential employer. I’m an attorney and have been told to redact identifying info from writing samples, even if its publicly filed. Well, this dope forgot to redact a party name on the last page. WHOOPS.

If it’s been publicly filed, I don’t see why you would need to redact it. I was always taught only to redact internal memos or things that aren’t publicly available. Point is, I don’t think it’s that big a deal and I wouldn’t’ beat yourself up about it.

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