The Life and Times of an anarcho-syndicalist group of Bears, formerly of Manhattan, now living in Canadia.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Kitties Across Canadia

This is Wolf "Stompy" Blitzoo, back with more on our fast breakin' story concernoo the massive protests set off against Bears Baitin'. The movemoo to end Bears Baitin' has gone internationoo, as kitties across Canadia have joined in the protest. Spike the Cat has started a paw-signing lettoo campaign against Bears Baitin'. He was willing to go to Alaskoo to take on the hunters directly, but there was some fear he might eat too much peanut butter, and he's not supposed to be eatin' fatty foods because of his livoo.

Sargeant Mauja, recently of Canadia, but now living with us in Manhattoo, knew Spike the Cat directly. We go now to the sofa, where our own Spike the Bear is talking live with Sargeant Mauja.

Spike the Bear: Thank you, Stompy. I mean, Wolf. So, Sargeant Mauja, I understand you knew Spike the Cat. What insights can you share about him?

Sargeat Mauja: He bit my head.

Spike the Bear: Thank you for that fascinating view of Spike the Cat. Back to you, Stompy. I mean, Wolf.

Compelloo stuff. Thank you, Spike. Uh.... Spike the Bear, that is.

In addition to Spike the Cat's involvement, Chuck the Cat will be walking around counters in the hunters' headquartoo, knocking stuff onto the floor. And Ativan (also a cat) will be drooling on the floor, so the hunters slip and fall down.

If the Democratoo Partoo had the kind of strategoo planoo that these cats from Canadia exhibitoo, I'd be arguing that the rafs vote put me over the top of Kerry, not Bush.

Oh, let's cut to Papito for the Hispanic Bear perspectoo.

Papito: Que?

Uh, is Blinky back from Maine? I don't know what Papito is saying without a translatoo.

Spike the Bear: Blinky's on the bed. He hasn't gone to Maine.

I thought he was going to Maine, to foment insurrectoo.

Spike the Bear: He hasn't been able to get tickets yet, cause he can't find Jim's 'Merican 'Spress Card.

19 people left us caaaandy:

Chuck and Atavan are concerned about the true extent of the Bears commitment to this cause. If it is true that there are bears intended to go to maine who re-maine on the bed, we fear the downfall of the movement before it begins. Also, does daphne-rose choose to be nonpartisan?

I'm only on the bed because Jim hid his 'Merican 'Spress Card! Because the last time we found it we bought lots of caaaandy, and a digitoo cameroo so we could take pictoos of ourselves protestoo. We are all fully commited to the cause, as you can see from the dashing protest pictoo we linked to.

*sigh* I hope this isn't this going to end like so many movemoos for social change, breaking down into factionalism about whose commitmoo is greater.

We're startoo to understand how that whole Quebec leavoo Canadia thing comes up so often. You break up very quickly up there. First Coral says kitties are ready to leave the allioo because Blinky couldn't get to Maine fast enough, and now Julia says other kitties are ready to leave our allioo because we didn't make it through Bubba Ho-Tep. It seems Canadia must be based on a kind of rugged individualism, that quickly breaks down any larger social groupings Bears might form to bring about social change, like our movemoo to ban Bears Baitin'.

The kitties of Canadia wish to let the bears in on a little canadia secret,eh? Quebec wants to seperate because it's a cult. Like that was so hard to figure out. What a bunch of eastern hosers they can be. While us kitties are oot and aboot, they traipse around behind us getting all like "we're gonna make our own laws and stuff, but we get to use your monetary system". Us kitties are devoted to the bears cause dammit, but don't go bringing up sour grapes or rotten eggs,eh? Us feline/ursuline type creatures gotta stick it to the man, okay? You know the elmer fudd felt hat plaid wearin' oh so homophobic lookin' eats to much meat and has bad poo smellin' breath 'cause they need to go on a cleanse and clean out the works, and who really thinks they can avoid being smelled downwind by the bears when they got that funky reek going on anyways....what the heck was i saying? yeah i dunno. Go Bear solidarity...anti-baiting (as opposed to de-bating). I think it's late. I have to brush my teeth and go to bed. bye

Oh and by the way, none of the kitties actually threatened to leave the alliance, as we feel strongly about the issue. Is there perhaps some subterfuge at play? I think there may be an infiltration into the bear ranks. Are all those on the bed truly in on the cause? Who's the narc?Where's the narc, There's gotta be a narc narc.

Dear Bears,I was wondering if you would like to come for tea. I fear we may have stepped off on the wrong paw. I do not have any caaaandy per se, but I am more than willing to make some scrumdiliumptious chocolate chip cookies, along with beverage of choice (I assume tea is okay?)

I promise to put chuck in the bedroom until your visit is over. He can't handle all the bear goodness.

Ahhh, this explains why Chuck went running by with a huge curly rainbow ribbon this morning. I thought he was just on his usual destructo-run, but now I see he was making himself pretty for the partoo.

[eyebrow] This also explains why my good china was out on the counter. Chuck has a fear of the wine glasses, though, as his head got stuck in one yesterday.

Yeah, so don't inhale the jelly cups with the weirdo white solid chunk in the middle. I believe they have been taken off the shelves. Bears..have you seen Jen eat sushi? It truly is a sight to behold. What's really really super duper funny is when you take her to the buffet and there's some dude scoping out the same ship full of sushi that jen is and then he takes one salmon roll more than his share and Jen gets all excited like and makes her friends go up and take a roll for her on their plate so that she gets her share before they take the boat away 'cause it only gets replaced every twenty minutes. You haven't seen Jen funny until you've seen jen sushi funniness. Priceless I say. Truly Priceless.