"Finally, I suspect that it is by entering that deep place inside us where our secrets are kept that we come perhaps closer than we do anywhere else to the One who, whether we realize it or not, is of all our secrets the most telling and the most precious we have to tell." Frederick Buechner

Come in! Come in!

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a Hope-er, a Pray-er, a Magic Bean buyer; if you're a pretender, come sit by my fire. For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!" -- Shel Silverstein

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Dignity at Work

Four clergy from The Episcopal Diocese of Newark have submitted a resolution
to Diocesan Convention, asking the bishop to convene a Task Force to
develop a policy to address the bullying, harassment and abuse of clergy
by lay persons.

It is very much worth reading the supporting information.

While Title IV
Disciplinary Canons address in detail policies and procedures for
bullying, harassment and abuse by clergy, there is no policy or
procedure to address bullying, harassment and abuse of clergy.

Click on the following link to read the resolution and supporting information:

Unfortunately, I'm told by friends across the pond that, "The problem is that not all dioceses have done much about it. A number
have not officially adopted a policy, let alone published it. Where
they have the identity and contact details for the harassment, advisers
can be almost impossible to find so it is a policy on paper only."

Meanwhile, in other parts of the church: Citing bullying and isolation, a group of United Church ministers has
teamed up with Canada’s largest private-­sector union to create
Unifaith, the nation’s first union for clergy.

The formation of a union comes amid unprecedented upheaval in the
United Church, with the closing, on average, of one church a week. That
pressure has been tough on ministers and congregations, leading to
problems such as bullying, said Rev. Jim Evans of New Vision Community
Church in St. Thomas.

“Somebody once said to me: ‘You can’t kick God, but you can certainly
turn to God’s representative and kick her,’ ” said Evans, who served as
interim president of the union chapter.

Evans said the wider church is aware of issues of workplace violence
and harassment and has made efforts to address them. But ministers,
often working in isolation, need more support than the church has
provided.

This is a complex but not complicated problem.

The causative factors are simple enough to understand. Bullying and harassment are always perpetrated by an imbalance - perceived or real - of power.

The "solution" is simple: We ought to have a Zero Tolerance Policy for Bullying and Harassment. At all times. By and for all people. Everywhere. Especially in the church - by and for laity and clergy and, yes, by and for Bishops.

In the church, the simple solution is made more complex by the power structure inherent in our admittedly
(whether or not we want to admit it for whatever particular purpose)
hierarchical structure of governance.

I have heard concerns that the above resolution will "disempower laity even more . . . . . . devolving into a place where laity fear speaking up."

Here's my response: Generations of laity who have
known their clergy as 'Father' (and now 'Mother' ) and laity who have
assumed the attendant roles as "God's children" in "the church family" complicate the power dynamic.

I think the problem is not that
the laity do not have any power. They DO have power. Our canons are
guided by the principle of a balance of power between bishops, clergy
and laity.

One example: The bishop has the power to ordain, but the ordinand
must have congregational (laity) support and endorsement as well as the consent
of the Standing Committee - made up of clergy and laity. Without that,
the bishop can't ordain.

Balance of power. It's a beautiful thing. When
it works. When the balance of power is maintained.

The problem is not that the laity don't have power. It's that they
don't think they have it or can use it. (It's the old "church family"
dynamic stuff about "Fathers" and "Mothers" and "children").

Or, it's the dynamic of "magical," "mythical," "archetypal" powers some
ascribe to priests.

Or laity have lived in a hierarchical structure
long enough that they really don't believe they either have power or can
use it. This is a set up for passive-aggressive - or just flat out
aggressive - behavior.

Or, they simply don't care to engage in conflict or have the emotional energy to invest in the situation and so they walk away. Or, walk to another church. Or, another denomination.

That, I think, is another part of the problem.

Bishops
and diocesan leadership who avoid or ignore or are otherwise adverse to
conflict add to the complication.

I know more and more clergy - good,
competent, wise, experienced clergy - who have had breathtaking and
heartbreaking experiences with a few, hand full of parishioners who have
driven the congregation to near rupture or complete rupture and the
sent the clergy fleeing for the protection of their hearts and souls and
minds and yes, even bodies.

I understand - unofficially - that there are more clergy out on Medical Leave for PTSD
following congregational conflict than ever before.

One clergy person
out on Medical Leave whose bishop and canon essentially added to the
conflict, tells me that whenever the CPG representative calls, there is always a profusion of apology.

Are there incompetent, controlling, unwise clergy
who have broken boundaries, betrayed trust, bullied, harassed, and
driven good Christians from their spiritual homes?

No doubt.

We have
Title IV Canons - flawed and faulted as they are, in my opinion - to deal
with these clergy and situations. That is prime facia evidence of the existence of clergy who have bullied and harassed members of the laity.

The flaws and faults I see in Title IV Canons, I believe, are part of the problem.

The balance of power has, in my opinion, been "over-corrected," placing too much power into the hands of the bishops, changing their jobs from "Chief Pastors" to "Judge and Jury". Clergy are now presumed guilty until proven innocent - and all in the name of "reconciliation"

The balance of power is decidedly off-balance.

I have heard the argument that "legislation is not the solution". You won't find an argument here. Title IV, I
think, proves that point.

But, please, do read this resolution again. It does not call
for legislation. However, our polity does require the legislative process to ask the diocesan bishop to appoint a Task Force to
look into the issue and develop a policy.

The legislative process is just how we roll in The Episcopal Church. It's how we got the Title IV canons in the first place.

In my opinion, this diocesan resolution is a pretty modest request. Indeed, it allows the bishop to appoint whatever members of his choice to the Task Force. It is certainly within the realm of possibility for him to set up a small group of people who will be blind and deaf to the problem and see no reason for a policy and process to be defined.

He won't, I'm quite certain, and while it is certainly a cynical view, it certainly is true that it places the power to define in his hands.

That having been said, the resolution is an important first step to
admitting that there is a problem and that we have nothing in our polity
- no tools, no policy, no canon - with which to address it, beyond the
unsatisfactory 14 day excommunication which then sends the problem to
the bishop's desk. (See that discussion above and below).

In my experience, excommunication simply creates martyrs and martyrs
live on longer than the original conflict - or, worse, perpetuate the conflict, long after the initial incident has been resolved.

Besides, the 14 day
excommunication is the "Father/Mother" in the "church family" equivalent
of being sent to one's room without any supper. It's a rubric which
emerged from another time in the life of our church that, perhaps, also
needs to be reexamined and reconsidered.

A policy which defines the problem and begins to define a process to
deal with the problem is, I think, the intended goal of this
resolution. (But, please do read the supporting information.)

A diocesan policy to balance national canons is a pretty modest attempt to provide an avenue of some remediation for bullying and harassment of clergy by laity.

Forgive me if I repeat: The "legislation" of Title IV is not a solution to
the problem. In fact, I believe it is a contributing factor to the problem.

It places enormous power in the hands of the bishop, who,
if they are adverse to conflict and/or unskilled in dealing with
conflict (as so many are); or, as is the increasing case, are of the
attitude that "clergy come and clergy go but the congregational pledge
must always increase - at least incrementally", they tend to either make
the situation even worse.

I have heard some clergy describe the feeling that some bishops see clergy as "ecclesiastical toilet paper," (this term was actually heard by an office worker being said by a bishop who, in absolute horror and disgust reported it to her rector) wiping up the mess in congregations, tossing them out and getting another in.

Wipe, rinse, mess, repeat.

Some bishops always see the clergy person as at fault and the
"solution" to the "problem" is to initiate "dissolution of a pastoral
relationship" (without a thorough examination of the situation or
characters or actors or dynamic involved, so "the problem" continues).

Or, some bishops simply strongly - but earnestly and tenderly and kindly- suggest
to the clergy person to leave - quietly, sometimes requiring the clergy
person to sign a statement that they will never speak of the situation.

And then, these same earnest, kind, tender bishops hang them out to dry in the deployment process while the
congregational members continue to make phone calls and run a whisper
campaign.

Is it any wonder that there are so many "unhealthy, dysfunctional congregations" in the Church?

Are there bishops in the church who are strong leaders, more concerned with congregational health and vitality than the congregational pledge to the diocese? Of course. Unfortunately, the anecdotal evidence strongly suggests that they are few and far between.

Then again, since silence is such a big part of the problem, how would we really know?

As President / Convener of The Episcopal Women's Caucus for 10
years, I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with clergy -
mostly women, but some men - who have been under attack by a small group
of congregational members. The stories have sickening similarities
which are all there for the reading and understanding in a series of
excellent books by various authors on the subject.

8 comments:

Pepper Marts
said...

Absolutely first rate, Elizabeth. The problem has been around as long as I've been in the Church (now well over 60 years) and I have seldom seen it addressed honestly. The most common scenario has involved throwing the problem at the bishop who is usually clueless and is looking for a quick, easy solution.

"Jesus described for us the reign of God on earth. We settled instead for the kingdom of the Church … and pushed heaven out the door." – From _The Little Red Book: Sayings of Chairman Pepper_

Pepper, thank you for that affirmation. I've had some private emails from clergy thanking me for raising the conversation. I haven't. This conversation has been going on for a long, long time, with some excellent books being written on the subject. Some folks have simply looked the other way and/or said, "Oh, that doesn't happen in OUR church." I think naming it - correctly - as "bullying / harassment" also has helped to break the silence which, of course, only perpetuates the problem.

While I don't know the particulars of the politics or institutional systems of the Episcopal Church, I can say that as a public servant, it is not just in the church that bullying and harassment has turned from top down to bottom up. Ask any teacher in a public school.

I am glad to read that this issue is being taken seriously and hope that all institutions begin to address it. I just have zero tolerance.

Thank you for this discussion. The last congregation I was with is truly wonderful and supportive. But there have been some tough times before that and the cumulative effect has a lot to do with the reality that I have nothing to with church anymore except reading my friends' blogs. I don't miss it either. Life "in the world" is simpler and happier.

Excellent discourse on a very real situation. I speak as a priest persecuted by a narcissistic inexperienced bishop with an ambitious agenda of self promotion, intent on destroying the ministry of good priests, especially women. The problem with this is there are no sanctions keeping such bishops in check, and don't they flaunt the power!

Follow Telling Secrets by Email

Search This Blog

Translation, please

I Am Episcopalian

Episcopal News Service

Wordle

No Anglican Covenant Blog (click on image to visit website)

Telling Secrets

The opinions expressed in this Blog are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Episcopal Church or any of the Episcopal Churches I serve, the Dioceses of Newark or Delaware, or those of any local, national or other organizations I serve. If you wish to reproduce anything written here or link to another site, you may only do so with the express permission of the author, and only with appropriate attribution.

"Plagiarism occurs when a writer deliberately uses someone else’s language, ideas, or other original (not common-knowledge) material without acknowledging its source."

PLEASE NOTE: If you have a difficult truth to tell, please do so in the comment section, but identify yourself, please.

If you want to say a painful truth or provide something helpful but, for various reasons, need to remain anonymous, I completely understand and encourage you to leave comments.

However, I do not support cowards, gutter snipes and blowhards.

No mean-spirited, uncharitable, ANONYMOUS comments will be reproduced here.

About Me

I am a joyful Christian who claims the fullness of the Anglican tradition of being evangelical, Anglo-Catholic, charismatic, orthodox and radical. Since 1991, my canonical residence has been the Diocese of Newark, where I was a member of the Women's Commission (since 1993), the Department of Missions (2 terms), The Commission on Ministry (1 term), The Standing Committee (4 years, one as President). I served as an elected Deputy to General Convention in 2000, 2003, and 2006. I have served as a board member of Integrity, USA, and as a founding member of Claiming The Blessing. I am national Convener of The Episcopal Women's Caucus, and am now member of the national board of RCRC. I attended the Lambeth Conference in 1998 and 2008 representing EWC. I graduated in May 2008 from Drew with my doctorate in Pastoral Care and Counseling and was Proctor Fellow at EDS, Spring Semester 2011. I am a GOE reader. I consult and counsel at Canterbury Pastoral Care Center in Harbeson, DE.

Followers

Franciscan Four Fold Blessing

Cartoon church?

Facebook Badge

Quotes from some of my favorite Bloggers and Friends

"How can you initiate someone and then treat them like a half-assed baptized?" - The Rt Rev Barbara Harris

Those who know the deep acceptance and love that come with healing and forgiveness can lose the defensive veneer that wants to shut out other sinners. They discover that covering their hair or hiding their tears or hoarding their rich perfume isn't the way that the beloved act, even if it makes others nervous. Katharine Jefferts Schori at Southwarck Cathedral, UK June 13, 2010

"If you have never been called a defiant, incorrigible, impossible woman … have faith … there is yet time." ~ From Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

If you want to protect Holy Wedlock, by all means padlock the church door whenever guys who love Judy Garland come-a-knocking. But if you want to protect marriage push for a constitutional amendment to ban divorce.

And . . . If that wasn't outrageous enough for you, there's this:

From where I sit, the entire Republican Party should head to OZ – looking for a brain, a heart and a pair of testicles.Helen Philipot

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Thomas MertonEileen the Episcopalifem

"I can only conclude that the social contract that binds us all together in such a single unlikely country is greater than each of us who make it up." Counterlight.

"There ain't nothin' more powerful than the odor of mendacity . . .You can smell it. It smells like death."Tennessee Williams, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Lord, take me where You want me to go, let me meet who You want me to meet, tell me what You want me to say, and keep me out of Your way. Amen.Fr. Mychal Judge, OFM, Chaplain, NYFD, First official recorded victim 9/11 attack

"You can call the dogs in, wet the fire, and leave the house. The hunt's over." James Carville after the 2nd Presidential Debate

"Literalism in any form is little more than pious hysteria."John Shelby Spong, Bishop of Newark, retired

"Start where you are.Use what you have.Do what you can."Arthur Ashe.

"Ask for help when you need it. Take it graciously when it comes. Try not to be disappointed when it doesn't. Be thankful for something every day. Do something for someone else as a way of saying thank you for your life."John R. Souza