Just Saying

Friday, 11 April 2014

The Lonely ‘I’ in every ‘We’, An Article by HAC

'We’ are together, ‘We’
are in a Relationship, and ‘We’ are
in a Love, people often use sentences like these. Most of them use it at
regular intervals and few of them are courageous enough to use it once or twice
in their life.

For me, ‘We’ is the most exposed synonym for Sacrifice. ‘We’
is the most appropriate word that can give meaning to togetherness. This word ‘We’
has so much hidden inside it that we can never figure out the actual meaning of
it. Online Dictionary says ‘We’ is the word used by a speaker to refer to
himself or herself and one or more other people considered together. But
practical life is on the other side of the coin. Are ‘We’ together, really?

Picture Courtesy: HJ-Story

The word ‘We’ can be equated with ‘I+I’. Two persons can
together form a We. It is like the mathematical situation where two negatives
combine to form a positive. This word ‘I’ is quite opposite to ‘We’, ‘I’
represents alone where ‘We’ represents accompany. ‘I’ can be used for an
individual and ‘We’ cannot be used for the same. If they are that opposite then
how is it possible that two ‘I’s’ form a ‘We’?

‘I’ is selfish, it just thinks of itself. ‘We’ can’t be
selfish, it puts a break on thoughts and decides the best for both the individuals.
Wow, is this word that pure that it does some magic and make people care for
each other. Is it that powerful that it can actually make two selfish ‘I’s’
think of each other before thinking about themselves as an individual? The
answer is very simple. Yes, it is that powerful.

Now the obvious question that arises is- If this ‘We’ is
that powerful than why relationships break? What makes this ‘We’ weaker? What
adulterates such a pure word?

Answers to these questions are very complicated. What makes
this strong bond powerless? The first culprit is ‘Past’. Everyone has a past. ‘Past’
is something that forms the person we are at present. Past can be nasty or past
can be a beautiful journey. It does not matter what is your past, but if you
have a past, your ‘We’ of present is weaker. It is powerless. But how?

Ever heard of this word called Compatibility? Can anyone
tell me why people feel incompatible with someone and feel compatible with the
other one? The answer is hidden in Past. Past forms the person you are at
present and there are no chances that the two persons have experienced the same
things in their past. If the past is different, than apparently we are left
with two mismatching ‘I’s’ and a powerless relationship.

There are these lonely two ‘I’s’ and irony is that their
past taught them that do not trust anyone easily. It taught them not to love
anyone, not to let your feelings and emotions control you, and so many other
things that I can’t even list. People learn lessons, so do our lonely ‘I’s’.
They learn different lessons and they know that the other person can’t
understand what they understand, which apparently gives birth to distances and
relationships break. Two brains can’t think the same way but two hearts do beat
the same way. However, one of the lessons is ‘Do not think with heart and think
with the brain.’

People feel lonely in a relationship because the other
person cannot understand them. They bottle up everything in their heart. Don’t
do that. If there is something in your brain, speak it out. Let the other
partner know what you feel and what you think. The cure to this venom is ‘Sharing’
and ‘Understanding’. Share what you feel and understand what the other partner
shares. This sounds difficult but once you implement it in your life, it can
actually make your life easy.

Other thing you can do is, do not implement the lessons you
learnt from past. Learn in your present and learn from that person that forms a
‘We’ with you. Life will be easy and beautiful.