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Moving is stupid. Don't do it. Unless you want to end up lying on your carpet on your back trying to blow up an inflatable mat, because all the beds are moved and you don't have the right inflator thingy.

You may also find yourself contemplating setting things on the various lawns of your neighborhood, just to get rid of them. Or at least putting garbage in the trashcans of your neighbors. And you will ask yourself whether the local thrift store accepts condiment donations. And you will cry, but not really. You will threaten to cry, but then nobody will rescue you because surprise! You're the Mom! Lucky you.

*So stay put, people. Just stay where you are. And when you think to yourself, maybe it would be fun to go somewhere, remind yourselves that it's actually just a not-good idea. And you'd better just take a walk around the block.