Comments on: Why I am Child Free By Choicehttp://gofitgirl.com/2012/07/why-i-am-child-free-by-choice/
Diet, health and fitness tips for average women. Site created and maintained by Ann Chihak Poff.Mon, 25 Jul 2016 14:16:00 +0000hourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=5.0.4By: Lisa S.http://gofitgirl.com/2012/07/why-i-am-child-free-by-choice/#comment-508
Wed, 01 Aug 2012 21:47:45 +0000http://gofitgirl.com/?p=9555#comment-508One of my favorite phrases is “Your children are not a retirement plan.” It’s the responsibility of every adult to figure out their plan for old age, and to follow through.

(I say this as the mom of an only child. In fact, I think we have to be extra-careful not to be a burden on her because it’s not like she’ll have siblings to share any of the Mom & Dad Are Aging madness.)

There is no one perfect choice or template for making a family. I think your family is perfect just as it is!

Sorry I’m a little late but I really enjoyed this post too! I couldn’t agree with you more… I wish more people who have kids put the amount of thoughtful consideration and planning into having children as you have put into your decision not to have children.

So many times people don’t actually “decide to have children” so much as, they fail to consider if or when they even want them, how they would raise them if they did, or whether or not they have a partner they’d want to be the mother/father of their child. They just have sex, find out they’ve “made a baby” and wing it from there.

Raising a child is too important to go about it like that. People put more consideration into buying a new car, deciding where to live, go for a vacation or what job offer they should accept.

When people talk about why they want kids, they give selfish reasons all the time… “I want someone to love”
“I want someone to love me”
“I need someone to take care of me when I’m old”
“I want to someone to carry on my name”

So it really bugs me too when people say those who don’t want children are “selfish”. How dare they?!?! Whether to have children or not, is a personal choice.

When I was around 10, I thought I wanted to have a kid when I was 20. I thought it would be cool to be a young mom. Plus, at age 10… 20 sounded old enough. When I got to be 20, I was in college and knew there was no way in the world it was time to have a kid.

Like you, when I was younger I always figured I’d eventually get married and have kids. Although I don’t think that was based on a deep desire to be a mom… I think I just figured that’s what I was “supposed” to do.

I always knew that if I were going to be a mom, I’d want to have a husband to help me raise my child(ren) though. Not that I have anything against those who are single parents. I just know that raising children is a lot of work and I never wanted to be a mom so bad that I was willing to intentionally do it on my own, such as through adoption, sperm donor, etc.

So now that I’m 38, not married (and no bf), I don’t have children… and I’m perfectly fine with that. I’m also realistic; even if I were to meet my husband today, had a whirlwind romance and was on the fast track… the soonest I’d be married would be in a year. And again, that’d be fast-tracking it! By then I would be 39 and wouldn’t want to have a child immediately anyway. I’d want to enjoy time with my husband for at least a couple years, make sure my marriage was stable, etc. before having a baby. By then I’d be 41/42 and at that age, could have trouble conceiving anyway, but even if I didn’t and got pregnant right away, I’d be close to 43 by the time I gave birth. Knowing that at that age, the chances of having a child with birth defects is much higher, plus the fact that I’d be 50-years old when I should be playing with my kid or that I’d be at retirement age when my kid was graduating from high school… does not appeal to me.

So I suppose initially I was child free by circumstance but now I’m child free by choice as well. Oh yeah, I’ll share one last thing… one of my employees (who has 9 children!) once said that I “needed” to have kids. I said, “No I don’t Martha… because you already had enough for both of us.” LoL ☺

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Sat, 28 Jul 2012 02:39:30 +0000http://gofitgirl.com/?p=9555#comment-506Wow, I am overwhelmed at the positive comments and responses I have received on this post. I have to admit I was a little nervous to write this. But I felt it was important, especially because it is such a big part of my life. Almost everyone who responded was a mom and they all were supportive and gave me kudos for know what I want. And Alicia, my fellow Child Free By Choice friend, well, of course, I knew you would be supportive.
I am overwhelmed by the support and love I received in my honesty.
Thanks to everyone who commented, whether e-mail, in GFG! comments or via Facebook. I truly cherish all of you and all of your comments.
And Mama Tirado–thanks for the Mexico City info. We are so looking forward to our trip. The best part of travel is the food and booze! We can’t wait.
]]>By: The Maamm Tiradohttp://gofitgirl.com/2012/07/why-i-am-child-free-by-choice/#comment-503
Wed, 25 Jul 2012 17:29:13 +0000http://gofitgirl.com/?p=9555#comment-503Ann,
I love the way you write! You have a great way of weaving a thought into a great story. 🙂

I loved this article that you wrote. To be as young as you are and to know what you want is a wonderful tool for you in your life. I like that you realize that you have the option to change and make choices about your life at ALL times in your life. It’s a gift.

I see that you plan on going to Mexico soon. I have great restaurants that you should try. I’m not sure what your plans are but here are a few suggestions: Hacienda de los Morales, they have great margaritas, ask for them with the Don Julio tequilla, the food is a bit pricey but so worth it and the location is a beautiful old hacienda. Another place that is delicious and not as expensive as Hacienda is a place called Charco de las Ranas, it’s a taqueria that has the BEST tacos ever! They have delicious fish tacos there too but their taco de pastor was fabulous. Their salsas are delicious too as is their specialty if I remember correctly was a fried cheese, called chicharron de queso, yummy!! 🙂 It’s been a long time since we lived there but while we were there we definitely sought out the good food!! Hope this helps. 🙂 Safe and happy travels.

]]>By: Nicolehttp://gofitgirl.com/2012/07/why-i-am-child-free-by-choice/#comment-502
Tue, 24 Jul 2012 21:48:06 +0000http://gofitgirl.com/?p=9555#comment-502Hi Ann, great post. I also never had a strong urge to have a child, and I don’t think most babies are particularly cute (toddlers, on the other hand, are adorable). And I agree, you’re a kid magnet; I think kids and babies recognize and are attracted to authenticity….hence they love you! You know the rest of the story for me…we (fairly apathetically) went w/o birth control and a couple of years later, Emi showed up! The joy of our lives, but I can also very much understand the decision not to have kids. –Nicole
]]>By: aliciahttp://gofitgirl.com/2012/07/why-i-am-child-free-by-choice/#comment-500
Mon, 23 Jul 2012 15:33:33 +0000http://gofitgirl.com/?p=9555#comment-500everytime i tell someone i don’t want children i feel like i’m almost “coming out of the closet” and have to mentally prepare myself for all the same questions and comments that i know i will get. the one comment that i dislike the most is being told that i am selfish. i find it strange that when people say they want kids they are never questioned on why. i guess because having kids is just what people do and what society expects that it is considered “normal”. kind of like women dropping their last names and taking their husband’s, which i don’t believe in either.
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