Finding right woman was a long, painful journey for me

Sunday

Dec 23, 2012 at 12:01 AMDec 23, 2012 at 3:38 PM

I had my heart broken many times on my way to finally finding happiness.

I had my heart broken many times on my way to finally finding happiness.

My romantic life began with a rocky start in high school. I begged this girl I really liked to go to a bonfire with me and some friends. It apparently meant more to me than it did her because we ended up sitting in the sports car of an upperclassman. I spent what was supposed to be my first official date watching the girl hold hands with another guy under a blanket in the front seat while I sat silent in the backseat.

And so it went. My high school was a stupid place full of stupid kids. Everyone wanted someone else, always ignoring or injuring the ones who wanted them.

By the time I joined the Navy my nerve endings had been seared. I had given up on relationships, seeking solace in one night stands in Virginia Beach and drunken debauchery in European brothels.

Then I met someone who changed all that. A beautiful wild-eyed Texas woman who accepted me for who I was. She got my sense of humor and made me feel alive.

I was stationed in Philadelphia; she was living in New Jersey at the time. We were set to marry on Christmas Day 1994.

I arrived unscheduled two days early and entered her apartment to find her nude on the couch with a guy she had said was just a friend.

With my ride not returning for three days, I had two choices: Stay with her or hit the road. Hitchhiking that 60 miles back to the shipyards in the bitter cold left me numb, both physically and emotionally.

Hurt and lonely on Christmas Day, I called home to North Carolina from a payphone on the docks. My mother wanted me to speak to a young woman visiting my family from Louisiana. That young woman was just as uncomfortable with the set up as I was. But we did talk for a few minutes and agreed to write each other.

Her husband — her high school sweetheart no less — had left her after three years of marriage.

I just explained my situation.

We exchanged letters and spoke on the phone a couple times a week for the next several months. Our relationship grew warmer as winter retreated and springtime bloomed. We were both in a vulnerable state and shared most of our secrets and insecurities.

I went home in April 1995 and we met face-to-face for the first time. She was beautiful. More beautiful than any woman I had ever been with. And she wanted me. For the first time in my life I found a woman who burned for me as much as I did for her.

At the end of our first official date we parked in the woods near the Rocky River. We talked about how much we had been hurt by other people. I kissed a single tear on her cheek.

We were not intimate that night. The self-restraint served to strengthen our relationship.

I was discharged in late July and we married Aug. 1. Two broken people became whole together. Nearly two decades later and our bond is stronger than ever and I am living one of the greatest love stories of our time.

Contact Daily News Senior Reporter Lindell Kay at 910-219-8455 or lindell.kay@jdnews.com. Follow him on Twitter and friend him on Facebook @ 1lindell.

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