OT: does it change

I have heard stories about how the first year of marriage is hard. That there are alot of fights, getting to know each other, and alot of people break up short term to try to fix things. Me and df have known each other for 3 years. Been together for almost 2 years & engaged for almost 1 year. We have lived together for over a year. I have a son from a pervious relation**** who df considers his own and we are expecting our first together. We were talking about being married and he said "nothing's really going to change except you'll be my wife and entitled to 1/2 my ****" lol I couldn't help but laugh because I sort of feel the same way. I only have one really good friend who got married after being with her husband for 5 years and having 2 children and she says its changed, but for the good. I know marriage is more than a piece of paper but does being legally married actually change anything?

I have heard stories about how the first year of marriage is hard. That there are alot of fights, getting to know each other, and alot of people break up short term to try to fix things. Me and df have known each other for 3 years. Been together for almost 2 years & engaged for almost 1 year. We have lived together for over a year. I have a son from a pervious relation**** who df considers his own and we are expecting our first together. We were talking about being married and he said "nothing's really going to change except you'll be my wife and entitled to 1/2 my ****" lol I couldn't help but laugh because I sort of feel the same way. I only have one really good friend who got married after being with her husband for 5 years and having 2 children and she says its changed, but for the good. I know marriage is more than a piece of paper but does being legally married actually change anything?

DH and I were together for four years before our wedding and lived together for about 1.5 yrs. After the wedding I didn't feel like anything changed except I was able to call him my husband which I love! I have felt being pregnant has brought us even closer than we were before, I felt a change then because we had just created a life together which as everyone here knows is just such an amazing feeling and such a bond.

DH and I were together for four years before our wedding and lived together for about 1.5 yrs. After the wedding I didn't feel like anything changed except I was able to call him my husband which I love! I have felt being pregnant has brought us even closer than we were before, I felt a change then because we had just created a life together which as everyone here knows is just such an amazing feeling and such a bond.

I have only been married 6 months and there is some changes :) we didn't live together prior and had a long distance relationship. Some good, some not so good. A lot of adjusting. You guys will be fine!

I have only been married 6 months and there is some changes :) we didn't live together prior and had a long distance relationship. Some good, some not so good. A lot of adjusting. You guys will be fine!

It hasn't changed anything for us and we've been married just over a year. First year was great! We were together 6years before and living together for 5 so there wasn't really any reason for anything to change. If your expectations of eachother are the same as they were before you were married then I don't think it should be too rough.

It hasn't changed anything for us and we've been married just over a year. First year was great! We were together 6years before and living together for 5 so there wasn't really any reason for anything to change. If your expectations of eachother are the same as they were before you were married then I don't think it should be too rough.

My husband and I were together for about 12 years before we got married. We started living together after only about 2 months of dating. I thought nothing would be any different since we had been together for so long and already have a daughter together, but for some reason it got better. It may have more to do with him growing up a lot but he's so much more just...there. IDK how to explain it but there is a difference. And I'm the one who didn't want to get married because I'd always felt it was just a piece of paper too.

My husband and I were together for about 12 years before we got married. We started living together after only about 2 months of dating. I thought nothing would be any different since we had been together for so long and already have a daughter together, but for some reason it got better. It may have more to do with him growing up a lot but he's so much more just...there. IDK how to explain it but there is a difference. And I'm the one who didn't want to get married because I'd always felt it was just a piece of paper too.

I think the more stressful things are the game changers: buying a house & first baby for the guy. First year of marriage was great (& the following 4)- big stress/responsibility things caused a few weeks of bickering.

I think the more stressful things are the game changers: buying a house & first baby for the guy. First year of marriage was great (& the following 4)- big stress/responsibility things caused a few weeks of bickering.

I totally agree with newmomma! I think marriage is all about expectations. And that can be taken any way you want to take it. My husband and I have been together for 8 consecutive years, living together for 4 years, have a three year old (and one on the way!), but we've only been married for 7 months! Nothing has changed for me, but that's because I expected our relationship to stay the same. We also eloped, and sometimes I wonder if a large wedding can cause one to create and/or have expectations. For some, a marriage is critical and crucial, and others feel they had that commitment regardless of the "paper". Be honest with yourself with what is important. The only thing that has changed for me is my last name! I have to say though, the first year after having our daughter was the worst. He was very uninvolved and not helpful. That really added to my PPD. Just remember that all these tiring baby stages and lack of sleep is temporary and for most people, it really does get better.

I totally agree with newmomma! I think marriage is all about expectations. And that can be taken any way you want to take it. My husband and I have been together for 8 consecutive years, living together for 4 years, have a three year old (and one on the way!), but we've only been married for 7 months! Nothing has changed for me, but that's because I expected our relationship to stay the same. We also eloped, and sometimes I wonder if a large wedding can cause one to create and/or have expectations. For some, a marriage is critical and crucial, and others feel they had that commitment regardless of the "paper". Be honest with yourself with what is important. The only thing that has changed for me is my last name! I have to say though, the first year after having our daughter was the worst. He was very uninvolved and not helpful. That really added to my PPD. Just remember that all these tiring baby stages and lack of sleep is temporary and for most people, it really does get better.

I knew my husband for 4 years before we dated, dated for eight months and then we were engaged for a year, got married and have been married for almost 8 years now and nothing has changed. We had our first child after being married for 4 years and we are still best friends and love each other just like we met yesterday... The reason marriages fail is because people rush into relationships not truly knowing the person or they have been in a messed up relationship for a long time and feel they won't be able to find someone else... Time is everyone's friend and can make a marriage last

I knew my husband for 4 years before we dated, dated for eight months and then we were engaged for a year, got married and have been married for almost 8 years now and nothing has changed. We had our first child after being married for 4 years and we are still best friends and love each other just like we met yesterday... The reason marriages fail is because people rush into relationships not truly knowing the person or they have been in a messed up relationship for a long time and feel they won't be able to find someone else... Time is everyone's friend and can make a marriage last

Being married didn't change anything. Having a baby changed everything. At first it was bad changing now its great. I love that we are a couple that works things out and learn rather than cAll it quits. :)

Being married didn't change anything. Having a baby changed everything. At first it was bad changing now its great. I love that we are a couple that works things out and learn rather than cAll it quits. :)

Everyone asked me if being married felt different. I said no, because it didn't. At first I thought maybe that's a bad thing, but the women who have been married for a long time said it was a good sign that nothing felt different.

Everyone asked me if being married felt different. I said no, because it didn't. At first I thought maybe that's a bad thing, but the women who have been married for a long time said it was a good sign that nothing felt different.

It changes the way other people see you I think. After marriage people feel completely comfortable in asking you questions such as "will you buy a house?" or "are you planning on having kids?" which they wouldn't ask an unmarried couple. When I was younger I found people presumed we were a bit boring when they found out we were married! I think I feel a sense of security that I didn't have in previous relationships, but that could just be because this is my longest relationship by far... 7 years. We got married because we wanted to stay together in the same country so marriage itself wasn't a big deal to either of us... But now I quite like being a wife.

It changes the way other people see you I think. After marriage people feel completely comfortable in asking you questions such as "will you buy a house?" or "are you planning on having kids?" which they wouldn't ask an unmarried couple. When I was younger I found people presumed we were a bit boring when they found out we were married! I think I feel a sense of security that I didn't have in previous relationships, but that could just be because this is my longest relationship by far... 7 years. We got married because we wanted to stay together in the same country so marriage itself wasn't a big deal to either of us... But now I quite like being a wife.

For me it did. I'm with dh 14 years so we kinda grew up together. We moved in together at 18 and fought alot and broke up every other month. We got back together after a short separation and he proposed, that was seven years ago and we haven't broke up or separated since. For us, the commitment meant we couldn't just walk away. Divorce isn't that common here and I know a lot of married couples stay even when they are really unhappy. That's definitely not the case for me, but I think being married makes us try that much harder to make it work. Every situation is different though and very few of my friends are married yet together a long time, it just depends on the couple.

For me it did. I'm with dh 14 years so we kinda grew up together. We moved in together at 18 and fought alot and broke up every other month. We got back together after a short separation and he proposed, that was seven years ago and we haven't broke up or separated since. For us, the commitment meant we couldn't just walk away. Divorce isn't that common here and I know a lot of married couples stay even when they are really unhappy. That's definitely not the case for me, but I think being married makes us try that much harder to make it work. Every situation is different though and very few of my friends are married yet together a long time, it just depends on the couple.

For me it was more psychological. Like if my feelings got hurt I would vocalize it as opposed to no dealing with it and blowing up later. For me it was like I need to make more adult decisions and not be immature for the sake of our marriage cuz I'm married. It's not like he or i could just walk out and be done with this marriage. We need to get the court and lawyers involved. It's more complicated than just breaking up and moving out.

For me it was more psychological. Like if my feelings got hurt I would vocalize it as opposed to no dealing with it and blowing up later. For me it was like I need to make more adult decisions and not be immature for the sake of our marriage cuz I'm married. It's not like he or i could just walk out and be done with this marriage. We need to get the court and lawyers involved. It's more complicated than just breaking up and moving out.

I think it'll give u feeling of more security... Changes the way you look at bills and things because legal u are in it together... Changes taxes, you can't walk away as easy... It's not a bad thing...You might miss out on honeymoon phase as u already had it... You'll be fine ... Just do it.. The longer you put it off the harder it will be... Make it real, if your sure About each other why wait..

I think it'll give u feeling of more security... Changes the way you look at bills and things because legal u are in it together... Changes taxes, you can't walk away as easy... It's not a bad thing...You might miss out on honeymoon phase as u already had it... You'll be fine ... Just do it.. The longer you put it off the harder it will be... Make it real, if your sure About each other why wait..

DH and I live together for 5 years before we got married. Our son was 2 1/2 by the time we got married, nothing changed for us, just my last name and health insurance carrier. Great health benefits that man has lol.17 tears later, we are still together and expecting our 3rd. :)

DH and I live together for 5 years before we got married. Our son was 2 1/2 by the time we got married, nothing changed for us, just my last name and health insurance carrier. Great health benefits that man has lol.17 tears later, we are still together and expecting our 3rd. :)

Things didn't change for us. We've been together 6 years and married one. We have a 3 year old son and already have a house together. It did mean I could call him my husband (which I love) instead of my boyfriend (which sounds so non-committal to me, especially since we already had one kid)

Things didn't change for us. We've been together 6 years and married one. We have a 3 year old son and already have a house together. It did mean I could call him my husband (which I love) instead of my boyfriend (which sounds so non-committal to me, especially since we already had one kid)

I had a fantastic boyfriend that became a fantastic fiancé and husband. I don't think marriage or a baby will change the personality of a man. But when you have an awesome one that respects you and loves you major events like marriage/having a baby will bring you closer. DH was emotional at our wedding and it was touching for me - definitely brought us closer.

I had a fantastic boyfriend that became a fantastic fiancé and husband. I don't think marriage or a baby will change the personality of a man. But when you have an awesome one that respects you and loves you major events like marriage/having a baby will bring you closer. DH was emotional at our wedding and it was touching for me - definitely brought us closer.

It really didn't change much for us. We have been together for 11yrs, married for 4.5. The biggest adjustment was having our dd. we didn't live together before but stayed most weekends together when we were in college. I think marriage adds another level of commitment to each other. It's definitely work and you have to make an active choice to be there for each other everyday.

It really didn't change much for us. We have been together for 11yrs, married for 4.5. The biggest adjustment was having our dd. we didn't live together before but stayed most weekends together when we were in college. I think marriage adds another level of commitment to each other. It's definitely work and you have to make an active choice to be there for each other everyday.

I've been with my husband for 5.5 years. We've been married for 1. We saw each other mostly on weekends before we for married and talked in the phone all day everyday. We moved in together after we got married and the first two months were horrible! But we are so happy now. We are very close. I love it

I've been with my husband for 5.5 years. We've been married for 1. We saw each other mostly on weekends before we for married and talked in the phone all day everyday. We moved in together after we got married and the first two months were horrible! But we are so happy now. We are very close. I love it

Ours changed for the better, especially with my step daughter. She was able to feel secure that we would always be a family, as her mom up and left one day (they were never married). Honestly, I love calling him my "sexy husband" and having the extra insurance coverage for the pregnancy is definitely a plus!

Ours changed for the better, especially with my step daughter. She was able to feel secure that we would always be a family, as her mom up and left one day (they were never married). Honestly, I love calling him my "sexy husband" and having the extra insurance coverage for the pregnancy is definitely a plus!

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