Thursday, August 06, 2009

I was babysitting for my mom's friend Kathleen's daughter the night I wrote that first fan letter to John Hughes. I can literally remember the yellow grid paper, the blue ball point pen and sitting alone in the dim light in the living room, the baby having gone to bed.

I poured my heart out to John, told him about how much the movie mattered to me, how it made me feel like he got what it was like to be a teenager and to feel misunderstood.

(I felt misunderstood.)

I sent the letter and a month or so later I received a package in the mail with a form letter welcoming me as an "official" member of The Breakfast Club, my reward a strip of stickers with the cast in the now famous pose.

I was irate.

I wrote back to John, explaining in no uncertain terms that, excuse me, I just poured my fucking heart out to you and YOU SENT ME A FORM LETTER.

That was just not going to fly.

He wrote back.

"This is not a form letter. The other one was. Sorry. Lots of requests. You know what I mean. I did sign it."

He wrote back and told me that he was sorry, that he liked my letter and that it meant a great deal to him. He loved knowing that his words and images resonated with me and people my age. He told me he would say hi to everyone on my behalf.

"No, I really will. Judd will be pleased you think he's sexy. I don't."

I asked him if he would be my pen pal.

He said yes.

"I'd be honored to be your pen pal. You must understand at times I won't be able to get back to you as quickly as I might want to. If you'll agree to be patient, I'll be your pen pal."

For two years (1985-1987), John Hughes and I wrote letters back and forth. He told me - in long hand black felt tip pen on yellow legal paper - about life on a film set and about his family. I told him about boys, my relationship with my parents and things that happened to me in school. He laughed at my teenage slang and shared the 129 question Breakfast Club trivia test I wrote (with the help of my sister) with the cast, Ned Tanen (the film's producer) and DeDe Allen (the editor). He cheered me on when I found a way around the school administration's refusal to publish a "controversial" article I wrote for the school paper. And he consoled me when I complained that Mrs. Garstka didn't appreciate my writing.

"As for your English teacher…Do you like the way you write? Please yourself. I'm rather fond of writing. I actually regard it as fun. Do it frequently and see if you can't find the fun in it that I do."

He made me feel like what I said mattered.

"I can't tell you how much I like your comments about my movies. Nor can I tell you how helpful they are to me for future projects. I listen. Not to Hollywood. I listen to you. I make these movies for you. Really. No lie. There's a difference I think you understand."

"It's been a month of boring business stuff. Grown up, adult, big people meetings. Dull but necessary. But a letter from Alison always makes the mail a happening thing."

"I may be writing about young marriage. Or babies. Or Breakfast Club II or a woman's story. I have a million ideas and can't decide what's next. I guess I'll just have to dive into something. Maybe a play."

"You've already received more letters from me than any living relative of mine has received to date. Truly, hope all is well with you and high school isn't as painful as I portray it. Believe in yourself. Think about the future once a day and keep doing what you're doing. Because I'm impressed. My regards to the family. Don't let a day pass without a kind thought about them."There were a few months in 1987 when I didn't hear from John. I missed his letters and the strength and power and confidence they gave me and so I sent a letter to Ned Tanen who, by that time, was the President of Paramount Pictures (he died earlier this year). In my letter I asked Mr. Tanen if he knew what was up with John, why he hadn't been writing and if he could perhaps give him a poke on my behalf.

He did.

I came home from school soon after to find an enormous box on my front porch filled with t-shirts and tapes and posters and scripts and my very own Ferris Bueller's Day Off watch.

And a note.

"I missed you too. Don't get me in trouble with my boss any more. Sincerely, John Hughes."

Fast forward.

1997. I was working in North Carolina on a diversity education project that partnered with colleges and universities around the country to implement a curriculum that used video production as an experiential education tool. On a whim, I sent John a video about the work we were doing. I was proud of it and, all these years later, I wanted him to be proud too.

Late one night I was in the office, scheduled to do an interview with a job candidate. Ten minutes or so into the call it was clear that he wasn't the right guy, but I planned to suffer through.

Then the phone rang.

1…2…3…4…a scream came from the other room and 1…2…3…my boss Tony was standing in my doorway yelling, "John Hughes is on the phone!!"

I politely got off the phone with the job candidate who was no longer a candidate and

Hit. Line. Two.

"Hi, John."

"Hi, Alison."

We talked for an hour. It was the most wonderful phone call. It was the saddest phone call. It was a phone call I will never forget.

John told me about why he left Hollywood just a few years earlier. He was terrified of the impact it was having on his sons; he was scared it was going to cause them to lose perspective on what was important and what happiness meant. And he told me a sad story about how, a big reason behind his decision to give it all up was that "they" (Hollywood) had "killed" his friend, John Candy, by greedily working him too hard.

He also told me he was glad I had gotten in touch and that he was proud of me for what I was doing with my life. He told me, again, how important my letters had been to him all those years ago, how he often used the argument "I'm doing this for Alison" to justify decisions in meetings.

Tonight, when I heard the news that John had died, I cried. I cried hard. (And I'm crying again.) I cried for a man who loved his friends, who loved his family, who loved to write and for a man who took the time to make a little girl believe that, if she had something to say, someone would listen.

Thank you, John Hughes. I love you for what you did to make me who I am.

1,415 comments:

Everyone and their mother is writing a post on Hughes after his death but yours is by far the most honest, open, heartfelt and sincere. I think he would be touched by how much you still care. This is a beautifully written and incredibly moving post and it's nice to know that there are filmmakers who care more about their fans than they do the studios. I hope there are more out there like him

What a beautiful tribute to a man who touched so many with his too-true-to-life stories. You were lucky to have had such amazing exchanges with him and you must feel his loss that much more deeply than the rest of us who felt connected to him. Thank you for sharing with us what he shared with you.

Like Bunny, just a few short weeks ago, I was lamenting to my husband that John Hughes wasn't making films any longer. We had just watched a miserable film, full of morosity (that isn't a word, but I think it's a new film genre) ok, full of moroseness. My husband didn't know who he was and I tried to describe his art as somewhat akin to a punk Frank Capra. I wondered about Mr. Hughes, and thanks to this very sincere and authentic blog entry, I can see that he had made a courageous choice that is not too surprising, and that his friend's passing had a very moving impact on his life's direction. This short writing says much about both men. Thanks for sharing.

What a tremendous story you've contributed--and fast too. I did not know he had left Hollywood for any reason....and the John Candy story he told you--that is just incredible. Thanks for doing it. Damn. Gawker should do more stories that elicit better emotions than cynicism.

I was blessed to know John most of my life. He IS who you say he IS and you've touched his family deeply with such a beautiful portrait of his character. I will miss him always and I thank all of you for the kindness in your words. John Hughes deserves the best! He will live on in the people that loved him.

Alison, thanks for posting this beautiful message. John Hughes and his films helped me through those painful high school years a "neo maxi zoom dweebie." Your loving tribute to him was a real comfort as we all mourn a great loss. Keep the dream alive.

Thank you for that moving tribute to John Hughes. His films affected me too and inspired me to write my own. It was wonderful reading about your relationship with him over the years and I love the way you wrote it up.

There are so many stories now out there about how John Hughes' films influenced the lives of so many of us who were young (or even not quite that young) in the '80s. Your more personal tribute "for a man who took the time to make a little girl believe that, if she had something to say, someone would listen" truly moved me. Thank you.

Thanks for writing this. My mother was a casual friend of John Hughes. He shopped at the local bookstore where she works and came in fairly frequently. She texted me yesterday with the news that he'd died. Honestly I didn't think much of it, since my mother often sends me news of local gossip, especially when it's bad news. However, your post made me realize how sad my mother must actually be. I forwarded her the link. Thanks for posting.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with John Hughes. In a world where the insignificant (money, fame, power) is glorified, it's nice to really know that one of my childhood heroes was honest caring in real life and not just in the art he made.

Thanks for writing this. My mother was a casual friend of John Hughes. He shopped at the local bookstore where she works and came in fairly frequently. She texted me yesterday with the news that he'd died. Honestly I didn't think much of it, since my mother often sends me news of local gossip, especially when it's bad news. However, your post made me realize how sad my mother must actually be. I forwarded her the link. Thanks for posting.

Thank you, Alison. I feel like you wrote those letters for all of us. Sharing with him the things we would have liked to share, hearing the things we would have liked to hear. Finally, thanks for sharing your private correspondence with us.

Thank you, Alison. I feel like you wrote those letters for all of us. Sharing with him the things we would have liked to share, hearing the things we would have liked to hear. Finally, thanks for sharing your private correspondence with us.

What a truly amazing, unique and special experience you had with Mr. Hughes... he clearly had a huge impact on so many generations by depicting the "cruelty" of being a teenager. How blessed you are to have his experience and guidance intertwined in the fabric of your life.

What an amazing gift he gave you and a legacy he left that lives on in you, in addition to his family and his films. I am absolutely sure that you have paid it forward, and will continue to do so...

It was sad news to any of us who were so affected by his films. He was so young. I feel terrible for his family...there's not really a "but..." in this other than, but I am sure they and he were happier when he left Hollywood, and he must have had a great life.

Thank you for sharing such a BEAUTIFUL story. I hope you write a book about this, I would love to read it. It is refreshing to learn and sort of confirms what I though about John Hughes, that he would be so down to earth to become pen-pal with his fan to take the time and listen. I loved the "The Breakfast Club", his film are apart of my youth.

I love you for sharing this with us...I truly love you for this. I am horribly sad for you today. John will be missed by all of his fans who admired him from afar, but you will miss him more than the rest of us who followed his work, as you had a special relationship with him.

This is a post that should be featured in a magazine. Perhaps in a tribute to the late John Hughes - I would buy many copies if I spotted it upon the newsstand. :)

Thank you for giving us the man, the human being, not the public image. You're in a unique position to give us something real. I feel that I know something of John Hughes through your words. I doubt that I'll find that anywhere else.

just when i thought i couldn't be anymore affected...your story is so powerful and so inherently authentic. you just put a face to the mythology and i cannot thank you enough for that.i feel a loss because of his stories. i am so sorry for the personal loss of a man who was your friend.

the other day, i was saying how much i craved received a real, handwritten letter. then, via twitter-friend recommendation, i happened upon this story. you have defined the voice of a letter received by mail. it has closer voice than often digital mail has...and much more tangible.

I was in high school on Chicago's north shore from 1984 to 1987. In fact, I knew many of the extras and 'day players'. Those movies, like for every teenager in America, were my life. Those and Blues Brothers were what made me pursue a film career. I was lucky enough to even work on one of his projects.

Wow, Allison. I was sent over here from Crazy Days and Nights - as I'm sure many have been. I have always loved John Hughes' movies and this is such a special post - what a unique relationship you had with him, so special!

Thank you for the most amazing tribute to John Hughes that I've read in the past day. I feel lucky that I came across it. He was so right about the business sucking the life right out of you -I hope he got to enjoy a real life in the years between Hollywood and this week. Best, FR

I cannot find words to express how much your post has touched me. I wish I had thought to have written him a letter...but I guess I thought he was too busy & too famous to really have time to talk to little girls like I was. I am glad to learn he 'really' understood us after all. My heart aches for his family, friends, and all of us...his fans forever. Thank you for sharing this.

I was about to say something like "everybody's said what I wanted to say", but realized that would be disrespectful towards both you and Mr. Hughes. I'm so touched by Hughes' kindness and, though I'm a bit young to have seen all of his films (I'm nineteen), I definitely mourn his loss--and the world's. Great piece, Alison (though that adjective alone does not do it justice). Fight on.

Born in 1988, I was not lucky enough to live through the acid wash jeans, concert tees, leg warmers, big hair, and neon lycra. Instead, I faced baggy jeans, dark lipstick, the perm, and the likes of Nash Bridges and Doctor Quinn: Medicine Woman (and the classics that came later--Dawson's Creek, ER, Buffy, etc.) on TV--not to mention the explosion of boy bands and mostly talentless teens.

Then, I saw "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Ferris was a god. Much to my mother's disappointment, "The Breakfast Club" was next. That was my high school. Sure, the clothes were a bit different, but that was my life.

The wonderful thing about John Hughes was that every one of his movies were like that--you fit right in. You saw your classmates, your friends, yourself.

Thank you for sharing your story! It's amazing! He will be missed, but we will have his movies forever.

Allison...this is a fabulous article about someone that really formed a generation with his movies...This makes me want to canel the plans for the weekend and start a movie marathon, starting with Ferris, my hero!!!

In my heart, my oldest son's name will always be Jake Ryan... even though my SIL took it first (and she hadn't even seen 16 Candles)... and my fave band will always be Squeeze... because, how can you not like a band that Molly Ringwald loved in the 80s? LOL!

I LOVED JOHN HUGES and his amazing movies. This is an excellent post. What a fun and meaningful memory to share from your teenage years... that so many of us can relate to!

After a morning of being bogged down in irritating minutia, I read this and it was the most bittersweet, yet uplifting thing I've read it a long, long time.As all the others have said, I too have been a huge John Hughes fan since I was a pre-teen. And then to hear that he was just as amazing as a human being as he was with his movies...well. He rises even father on my list of the best people in the world.This reminds me how very important it is to acknowledge young people, no matter how busy or high-falutin' we think we are. Not only do we learn from them, but hopefully by taking the time, we can in some way make a positive impact on their lives. How proud he must have been of you.All the best to you...Liz K.

Truly sorry for the loss of your friend - the time it takes to write to someone with thoughtfulness and purpose is time well spent - the words remembered, and taken to heart. How wonderful to have had such a friendship.

It feels as though you were speaking to him for all of us who shared the same 80s. Thank you for it. I'm sorry we all lost John Hughes, the writer and director, but I'm especially sorry you lost your friend.

Okay. Third time's the charm. And I am not computer illiterate but for the life of me... I'll send it as anonymous but my e mail is jknopq@aol.com.

I had written a pour-my-heart-out note twice, and I think the third recap, this one, will be a bit colder, hopefully not. I had to tell you your story left me brimming with tears -- only b/c I'm a guy, and not about to start bawling on my own. And that not only I thought this is a movie I'd love to see (others share that thought, I see) but is one I'd love to write into a script myself. But don't take it as me not really getting the true meaning of your story but take it as the power of your tale. This is how much it moved me. I guess all that is left is to thank you immensely for this opportunity, and to share a hug through cyberspace, and sadly a poor substitute. All my very best wishes to you, I hope you recover your smile now, and please have a wonderful heart-fulfilling life, for you and your loved ones. Again, all the very best. Sincerely. ML

A friend posted your blog post on Facebook. Thanks for sharing this more personal side of John Hughes with us. I love your frank response to receiving the official fan stuff inspired him to start writing to you. Makes me wish I'd written to my teenage hero.

I wish I had the courage as a teenager to write John Hughes and tell him how much his work meant to me. I absolutely LOVED your story. Thank you for sharing your years with John Hughes.

This story HAS to be made into a movie. Hell, if "they" can make a movie about about a woman inspired by Julia Child than the powers that be need to make this into a film. I would see it opening night.

This story is amazing in so many levels... Thanks for sharing this... makes me smile to think of a talented and well known movie maker who took the time to be the pen pal of a teenager who needed of needed of someone to believe in her. What a tribute to the guy srsly.

Congratulations on what you're doing now. And thanks again for sharing this with the world.

John Hughes made films like no-one else. He seemed to have a unique empathy with teens; their hopes, fears, anxieties, and dreams and expressed them in a raw, honest way. They meant a lot to me when I was growing up in the eighties and have stood the test of time in that they are still great today.

Mr. Hughes has been taken from us far too soon. But his humour, warmth, talent, and his insightful voice will live forever through his films.

There could not have been a more thoughtful or appropriate tribute to him than yours. Thank you for sharing it.

I'm too young to have seen many of his movies in theaters, but dreaming of having the movie ending he created kept me going when high school sucked. It is incredibly nice to know that he had a very real connection to what he did. I'm sorry for your loss.

This is an incredible story. Thank you for sharing it. My heart goes out to you and everyone who knew him. He sounds like a truly wonderful, giving person. As big a loss his death will be to the film industry and movie fans, it sounds like it will be a hundredfold for his friends and family.

I live on the other side of the world and i'm probably a lot younger than you...but I was a teenager too and The breakfast club is still my favorite movie...your story is completly amasing, it's wonderfull that you shared it with us

thanks for sharing this. John Hughes was such an amazing guy, it's hard to believe that he's gone. I spent a good deal of my childhood watching Home Alone, its sequel, and Christmas Vacation over and over. It's awesome to see that one of Hollywood's most gifted muses had such a huge heart!

Thank you so much for sharing. I grew up watching all his movies, too. I always knew he was a great movie maker, but now I know he was a truly good human being, too. I am so sorry for your loss. The refrain of "Don't You Forget About Me" keeps circling in my head from the Breakfast Club. No, we all can never forget you, John. You spoke to our generation. You will be greatly missed but your movies will live on.

That was an AMAZING story. You were so lucky to have had the opportunity to have that kind of dialogue with the one, the only John Hughes. I just did a write up of your wonderful post for the website babble. Check it out here if you'd like. Again...I really loved that you shared your story.

Allison, found your blog posted on facebook today. OMG... Thank you! Thank you! You were able to tell John Hughes what the rest of us were all thinking and feeling. His movies were inspirational to us as teens..the first one that HIT me was Some Kind of Wonderful. Thank you again, keep writing!!

This is one of the most beautiful things I've read, and a most glorious tribute to John Hughes. I was so saddened to hear of his passing, as I like many teenagers at the time, connected with his movies in so many ways. I still consider them to be favorites and treasures.

But the connection you shared with him sounds phenomenal. Thank you for sharing your personal relationship and the wonderfully human way that he connected with you.

Mr. Hughes will be missed, but this was one of the loveliest tributes to anyone I've ever read. Thank you.

I stumbled onto your blog while looking online for more information on Mr. Hughes' life and work, and I am so very glad that I found you!

While I am truly saddened (for his family, for you and for every 80's teen that loved John Hughes' work) knowing that John has left us so early in life, I am also really happy that someone like you was so deeply and genuinely inspired by John's work. That you even managed to keep in touch with him personally over the years is both a validation of and a testament to his beautiful, insightful soul.

On behalf of every misfit kid who wanted to shake John Hughes' hand, and guy who STILL finds glimmers of himself in 'the jock', 'the brain', and 'the criminal', thank so much for letting John know how important his work was to all of us.

It is hard to imagine John Huhes at 59 having a heart attack because he seemed -- and I mean this in the best possible way -- forever young, inquisitive and sad that people eventually embraced realism over idealism.

Thank you for making me cry at my cubicle at work. :) What an amazing story that you will have with you for the rest of your life. I enjoyed so many of his movies, and knowing that he took the time to write back to you as your pen pal is the perfect example of just how much he understood about relationships. His movies reflected upon summer family vacations, teen angst, the struggles between teens and their parents, and he took the time to develop a relationship with you as a teen because he understood what you were going through. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Your blog story made me cry. Thanks for sharing it. I was a little older when I saw John Hughes' movies, but they really resonated with me, since I was an outsider in high school too. I think Hughes made the right move for his kids getting out of Hollywood, and I am sure they turned out pretty well. Good luck with your writing.

Thank you for your loving tribute to John Hughes. His gentle spirit was apparent in his films, but it's inspiring to know he was a genuine, caring person in real life too. It hurts to lose people like him- but while he was alive he made a tremendous difference in so many lives, including your own. You are truly fortunate to have cultivated a friendship like his.

Oh man.Thank you. Just... Thank you.For writing this. For making the man human (especially when you have people saying "He was a celebrity. Get over it").And for the sheer beauty of this post.Thank you for sharing your story.

I knew John Hughes' movies very well, but not a lot about him. Your story changed all that. Being Canadian I was especially moved by the part about how Hollywood killed John Candy and how upsetting it was to the good man that John Hughes clearly was.

Be strong Alison, and listen to the things John told you. He had it all figured out. This world has clearly lost a very good man.

Wonderfully written tribute to a man whose movies also meant the world to me. Thank you, Allison, for sharing your special relationship with the man who made those movies that helped me feel like someone understood me. I can only hope that someday I will be able to write as well as you or tell a story on film as well as Mr. Hughes.

Remarkable. Thank you for being the surrogate for so many of us all those years ago and for meaning so much to him; it's clear how much his correspondence meant to you, as well it should. What a wonderful gift. x

This was posted by a friend of mine on facebook and i can't tell you how much I love it. Thanks for sharing. I too was a huge fan and find the fact that he left Hollywood fascinating. Living here I can see why and see why he made the comment about John Candy. I love it that he was such a special and sensitive person. Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing this. Take care and sorry for your and our loss.

What is most interesting and sad to me is, that an exchange such as yours would be hard to imagine today, despite, and probably because of, our (overly) connected world. Too many people seek too much access and want to take, take, take from those in the spotlight.

It's not only a reminder of a person who's left us, but a time. Thanks for sharing.

I don't know if its your blog, or the comments by the anonymous, 39-year old executive from California, but, at this very moment, in the middle of a very crowded Panera bakery, I am fighting a losing battle attempting to restrain some really persistent tears.

Thanks for your loving tribute to such a beautiful soul.

And thank you, Mr. Hughes, for reminding the world that even young hearts feel pain, too.

Thanks for this. I only knew Mr. Hughes through his movies and the stories my cousin John, a Teamster in Chicago who worked on his films (he was in the polka band in HOME ALONE), told me. I work in Hollywood and while I love it at times, understand how soulless it can be. This is a beautiful tribute.

Thanks you for sharing this. I once worked with a woman who told me the story of working for her high school newspaper in Illinois, and getting Mr. Hughes to speak with her about the process of filmmaking, and how great of an experience it was for her, and how much it inspired her to write further. I've been thinking of how this event must have shaken her, but have had no way of getting in touch.

Your post is a balm. It's wonderful that he reached out to other young people, like you, and it's wonderful that neither you nor my friend were likely the only people he connected with, wrote to, and inspired. It confirms what we always wanted to think of him after watching his visions and listening to his words.

Dear Alison, we're all connected. I feel connected to you and also to all those who were moved by your post. Become a connection point for as many people as you can and maintain it. The internet is tailor-made for this activity. I personally prefer the phone as well as letter writing. I am connected to Peace Corps Volunteers and also to the people of my beautiful island of Saipan for the last 43 years. Its a great investment in time.

Alison,As if you don't already have enough comments, I figured I'd leave my two cents..Your relationship with John sounds beautiful and inspirational. When I was 14, I was in a staged version of The Breakfast Club and it was the first play I ever did. The experience made me fall in love with each of the castmates as well as John Hughes and the messages that he communicated through his career. In the years following, I took a lot of grief from people for having a passion for arts in a conservative setting, but I'm now in college, majoring in Acting and planning to make a career out of it. The Breakfast Club and John Hughes kept me determined through high school, so thank you for strengthening the image of John Hughes that's inspired me from the very beginning.-Josh

While I was never a big fan of The Breakfast Club or 16 Candles, I will always love Family Vactaion, Christmas Vacation, and the Great Outdoors. They are some of my all time favorite movies as well as being very special to me. You see, I lost my father in February of 2008 and these films were some of his favorites as well. Whenever they came on, him and I would watch them. I thank Mr. Hughes for giving me those memories so that I will always have a part of my father with me.

What a wondeful tribute. I love his movies, but never gave any thought to what kind of man John Hughes was. Knowing such a kind man was behind them will somehow make the most treasured movies of my teenage years mean even more to me. My husband has never even seen Pretty in Pink or The Breakfast Club (truly shocking to me, although he was a popular jock while I was an angsty redhead with a prolonged "awkward phase"). I am going to introduce him to them this weekend. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us.

Thank you so much for sharing Alison. This story has moved me more than I would have imagined and gave me a greater appreciation to the human side of John Hughes. With all the crap on the internet and the uselessness of social networks this bit of "light" makes it worth it.

Alison:I think every teenager in the 1980s felt as though they had a special, personal relationship with John Hughes ... and you were lucky enough to have a real one. What a fantastic story you shared. Your appreciation for the connection you had with John Hughes is so evident and makes your story even more enjoyable to read.Thanks for writing about it.Robin

Thank you for publicizing your very private relationship with Mr. Hughes. I am sorry for your loss. He will be missed my millions. You are a fantastic writer. Have you thought much about continuing the work that Mr. Hughes started? Sharon

that's some wonderful writing, and a very nice story. my girlfriend just sent me the link because she said it reminded her of how i'm always leaving notes for people or writing people back or complimenting someone out of the blue, and it's made some significant others mad, but i think people should always tell everyone how they feel about them, or that they have a beautiful smile, or that they affected them in third grade, or whatever. i'm not writing this to say i'm a swell guy. i'm writing to say that it's wonderful that you had this experience, and to urge other people to express themselves even if it means putting yourself out a bit. that someone who never knew how much his or her friendship meant would love to hear it. cheers! johnny

I only hope I understand my teenage children as much as he did his. Thank you for sharing, What a joy to know that you've brought together hundreds of fans under one umbrella of thanking one man for chaging our lives. Those of us born then will always be the brain, the athlete, the basket case, the princess and the criminal.

Mr Hughes's work not only resonated with teenage life in the United States but also small towns like mine called Llandovery (5000 people.. ish).

I am of course saddened by the news today. However, your post provided some light on this, a very sad day.

It proved that he was not only a great writer & director but more important than any of that.. he was a great man.

Sadly, very few heroes actually live up to the mark in real life.

However, my high esteem of John Hughes has been taken to a whole new level by the correspondence that you have shared today. I always wondered why he left Hollywood, at a time that his star was at it's highest.

I am crying. I read it twice.. In his life and in his death... I am jealous of your relationship with such a strong and powerful mentor who we all think "got us". I enjoy watching my now teenage neices and nephews watch the movies and I can see in their head.. "Oh my god he gets us"

What a unique situation. You reached out to connect and what a gift you both gave each other. This is a lesson in taking the chance, in asking for friendship, even across a great distance of space, age, and other differences. How kind of you to share yourself and very personal connection to a gift filmmaker. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing this. It brought tears to my eyes, too. I think we all needed to read this story of such a good man helping a faceless teenager, and shaping so much of what they would become. I'm so glad he kept "I'm doing this for Allison" in his mind - I'm sure it kept him on exactly the right path in his life. The little things like that stick, don't they? Because you and John were, what I would deem as "close, I am especially sorry for the loss you are feeling and the pain that it brings. Know that he left you with so much, though...part of who you are, and that's a wonderful thing I think he'd be proud of.

What a great tribute. I didn't know John Hughes, but he knew me. He was a voice for all of us who were on the fringe and otherwise. He made movies of truth in such a wierd time in history, movies that spoke to us and for us.

Thank you very much, Alison, for posting this remembrance of John. You really captured his spirit in this piece.

I was lucky enough to work on that movie about young marriage and babies. I spent four days filming a wedding scene as a groomsman. One story I hope I'll never forget: John was shooting one scene, over and over and over. I looked over to where he was, and he wasn't watching the monitor -- he just listened to the actors and said "again"... "again"... "again"..... All of a sudden, the voice saying "again" was different. It was one of his assistants. John had gone out to the lawn of the church where we were filming to play with Kevin Bacon's dog. He always found time for the important things.

I'm not surprised he left hollywood, and I'm sure his family is better for it, just as I'm sure hollywood wasn't. He was a great talent and person, and is missed terribly.

damn it! you brought tears to my eyes while I'm at work!! I hate that!! I felt your intensity 100%! John's movies were a huge part of my teenage years. They were my companions when I was home alone with nothing to do. They screamed my feelings which I couldn't speak about. They gave me ways to grow.

This is the best thing I've seen since I heard yesterday at work, and had teary eyes then too....thank you, from the depth of my soul, thank you.

An old friend just forwarded me the link to this inspirational story. I'm a 34 year old musician (and movie nerd) from Brooklyn, NY who grew up on JH's movies, and - like Alison - was affected by his earlier films, as I identified with the themes of being a social outcast, unpopular, and, basically, a typical male adolescent growing up in the 1980s.

My music has always been '80s-tinged, with many of my influences among the great artists whose tunes typically elevated JH's flicks to a greater emotional level. In 2005, as a tribute to Mr. Hughes' films and the music that accompanied them, I wrote a song about a breakup and called it "John Hughes," as the lyrical and musical themes reminded me of something right out of "The Breakfast Club" or "Sixteen Candles". I always pictured Andrew McCarthy bursting thru the doors of the lunchroom cafeteria in slow motion to confess his love to Molly Ringwald during the last chorus of my song. So the title seemed apt :)

I wanted to send JH a copy of the song, but I'm afraid I was never as bold as Alison. A few months ago, some friends volunteered to film a video for the song, sticking to the same themes of teenage heartbreak in the video's theme. We filmed it at Abraham Lincoln HS in Brooklyn.

I surely didn't know JH intimately like Alison did, but it makes me wish I would have sent him my song, as Mr. Hughes appears much more compassionate and human than, well...the average human. And that's a rare quality these days.

John Hughes' gifts extended beyond writing and directing - we need more like him in this world.

If you'd like to hear the song or see the video:http://www.ilike.com/artist/qball

I love reading things like this. Thanks for sharing your John Hughes story. His movies were an indelible part of my adolescence. Somehow it restores my faith in the world that a man that could make films that spoke to me, spoke to the teenage experience, would take the time to engage with a teenager. A sincerity, honesty, and integrity comes through. Beautiful post.

thank you for sharing such a wonderful personal letter and memories with us! i grew up with all the classic films..any movie i ever saw that had john hughes name in it i made everybody else watch too and made many new fans of his work..from what i see he was just as great a man as artist! so sorry for your loss and hope he is happy and reunited with his friends somewhere out there..Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." kbyrd...god bless!!