K-Dough's Canada!

Friday, September 04, 2009

THUD Toronto campaign

K-Dough is hereby challenging all Toronto cyclists to help control the horrid lack of road safety displayed by other cyclists every day by policing ourselves and joining the THUD Toronto (Torontonians Heckling Unsafe Drivers) campaign. The prevalent opinion that has emerged over the past week in the media, however misguided as it may be, is that poor innocent cyclists are daily persecuted by crazed anti-bike car drivers. Well, the reality is that the majority of cyclists on our city streets are a bunch of law-ignoring, cocky/stupid jackasses who flirt with their own demises every day, flouting rules and riding like pompous 8 yr olds with entitlement complexes. So it's really up to us- the cycling community- to make sure they know how the respectable and law-abiding among us feel about their retarded behaviour on the road. What can you do? Every time you stop at an orange or red light and witness some stupid idiot riding gingerly half-way across the intersection and then through it; or someone speeding through the red light with no regard for their own, or others' safety yell as loud as you can: "THUD!!!" THUD is the sound of a body crunching under the wheels of a car or truck.Or, yell THUD as you are taking a picture of them with your cell phone and post it online. Better yet, get the attention of a police officer and have them chase the idiot down. It's not enough to whine and whinge about how cyclists are getting a raw deal when so many of us are ignorant, reckless idiots. Do something about it. Remind a stupid THUD near you that he/she is being watched.

Framing the Discussion

Metro Morning just interviewed the huggy feel-good Yvonne Bambrick from Toronto Cyclists Union and the context they have put this tragedy in is one of cyclists rights and education: Should cyclists be licensed? How can cars and cyclists get along?

Of course, the feel gooder said cyclists need to feel more welcomed by society. Yup. That was her response to a question about how to help the problem of rampant ignorance of traffic rules. She went on to say, of course they need to obey rules, but they also need to break them to stay alive.

Hm Yvonne. Does include running red lights? Riding on sidewalks? Riding in oncoming lanes when its suits them to get around red lights?

Let's get it right people: the Bryant incident was about people and rage: assault. It had nothing to do with the mode of transportation each chose.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Psycholist's Death Mourned by 1,000 Fools

Someone has to say this.

Yesterday, approximately 1,000 cyclists disrupted Toronto city streets, ostensibly to mourn the death of a guy killed while attacking the car of Ontario's former Attorney General after a minor fender-bender.

But what was their message? What were these fools really doing? While a handful may have been truly mourning, the rest were displaying a mixture of dysfunction: blind allegiance to a nutty, geeky cyclist sub-culture that thinks cyclists are never guilty of infractions and that some evil car culture persecutes them; thumbing of the noses of the mundane and mediocre at the fallen mighty because all public figures deserve ridicule when their humanity is exposed; or, at its worst, this was a display of lawless, ignorant rage similar to the same rage that ultimately became that man's undoing.

The fools demonstrated publicly, crying "murder" despite published eyewitness accounts that clearly indicate this was no ordinary case of evil car dragging innocent cyclist. They rode in support of a fucked-up criminal, wanted on 64 outstanding charges in Alberta, who was drunk and removed by police from a property less than an hour earlier, with his own friends saying he was too drunk to drive. If he had gotten in a car at that point and killed a child, we would be publicly vilifying him. But because he rode a bicycle (which he reportedly threw at the car he attacked) he is a victim?That is indescribably fucked up.I have true sympathy for the life of the man killed. According to media reports, he had to deal with a lot of unfortunate shit while he was alive. So have I. So have a lot of people I know. What drove him to to pay the ultimate price we can't change and the question of placing blame on others is for the courts to decide. We can only soberly think about that tragic example next time we want to punch someone in their car, on their bike, on the TTC or....anywhere.

But one thing is clear: This protest wasn't about cars versus bikes or the rich versus the downtrodden. This is about the glorification of crime, akin to gangbangers becoming legends in their hood once they are gunned down.

And even when the courts decide who really is at fault, and Bryant is exonerated to the sour milk cries of preferential treatment for the rich and powerful, the fools will learn nothing. Because they are fools.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Are the Spanish Retarded?

The Spanish Olympic men's basketball team posed for an ADVERTISEMENT in which they all pulled their eyes up at the side into a slant before the Olympics and they seem to see nothing wrong with it. I'm sorry? In an article that erroneously says the Spanish basketball team is trying to diffuse the damage they've done by mocking the physical characteristics of Asians, one Spanish player said this, "If we thought that it was going to offend anybody we would not do it. But if you think this is offensive you're not thinking in the right way, because it's not even a joke. It's just because we are coming to Beijing, we have this kind of eyes." The coach, Aito Garcia Reneses, pulled his baby bed covers over his face and said "Everybody is talking about something that I cannot understand."

Might as well have said "I'm a retarded Spanish dude. What the fuck do I know?".

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

New K-Dough Blog: Coming NOW!

Yo kids: Pls visit a fresh new joint, published by K-Dough starting NOWish. This summer, I will be blogging about road safety in Toronto and publishing descriptions, licence plate numbers and possibly photos of Toronto's Road Idiots as often as necessary.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Where It's At

I got two-turntables and a microphone. Sorry, couldn't resist.But seriously you sick little monkey-fuckers, I just wanted to let anyone know who's actually wondering where I'm at, uh, where I'm at.The real K-Dough is busy writing a book right now, so that's where all my creative juices are collecting like gravy from a well-choked, but still slightly moist chicken.Someday I may be back. You can only hope, I guess.Love you all like my own sister. Wait, that didn't come out right.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Media Mogul Mao Harper

What is this bullshit about a new media centre that Harper and his retarded flying monkeys are building? (HERE) Has Canada somehow been time-machined back into 1960s China? Next he'll be buying his own newspaper and torturing journalists in a dungeon, just like Conrad Black.Dictatorial cocksucker.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Cry Baby Tory Blaming Others

When questioned today about why he included funding for faith-based schools in his platform, even though 3 years ago his party knew it would flop, John "Cry Baby" Tory said: "I never had control of the message." Hm. If the central issue of this election was leadership, does it sound very leader-like for the leader of a party to have never had control of his own party's message?Then, blaming the media for his dismal performance, he said "Did I say it (faith-based school funding) was the issue of the campaign? Never once." Who the fuck cares what you say is the issue of the campaign John Q. Tory? You released your platform and people focussed on what they wanted to focus on. That's democracy John, you spoiled, corporate hollow man. Take off the tear-stained dress and suck it up princess.

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