Tuesday Quotes: Merry Christmas!

“Whatever we here at EIB — me and the overrated staff — mean to you, you cannot possibly compare it to what you have meant to all of us and my family as well. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, folks.”

“We built the glitches in version 1.0 of our iPhone app so we could show improvement real fast. Yeah, it’s smart marketing.”

“By the way, if there’s anybody out there offended by me saying that the Communist Party USA and the DNC are identical, just ask them to name one significant issue where they differ — just one!”

“Maybe I could get Donovan McNabb as a guest host on this program. I’ll bet you that McNabb has a lot of things he would like to say about a lot of people. We might think about that. We should call him after Christmas.”

“Charlie Crist is the poster child of No Labels: a loser.”

“From a guy named Tom: ‘Dear Rush: I think that caller needs to stop worrying about what other people think of her. My wife hated you when I’d listen to you, so I divorced her.'”

“Too many people are forced to back down from who they are, but the inner Limbaugh is on display here each and every day. So to those people who think that I’m hiding something — ha! You don’t know the half of it!”

“Here’s what happens. My wife gets in the car and drives during the commercial breaks. Then when the program starts, she pulls off to the side of the road and covers her face.”

“There is no problem on the Internet. None. In fact, as in most of life, there wasn’t a problem until the liberals went in search of one so that they could control people’s behavior.”

“When I was on William Shatner’s show, he just stopped and said, ‘How do you know?’ And I said, ‘Because I do. It’s my job to know.'”