Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Mary Worth 707

Kurt's Email: Day 2

Kids, be warned. Free spiritedness may look fun now, but it will lead you down a dark, dead-end road where you sit pathetically for years under the yellow glow of a blinking, humming streetlamp, longingly looking at scrapbooks of the good ol' days with the one that got away: a bald, overweight, ham sandwich gulping moron. And then you die.

Well, since Kurt was really as geeky as Wilbur, his real father must have been pretty geeky, too.

Abby must have liked geeky guys. Is this story over yet? The only "interesting" character was ol' Helen-the-lush. Maybe if we signed a petition, we could persuade Moy to move ol' Helen-the-lush to Charterstone.

This is really one of the strangest Abby flashback photos. I can't quite put my finger on it (no pun intended) but she just has a weird smirk on her face as if maybe this photo is a publicity still for a sitcom or something.

I wish there were this many pictures of me with people I knew taken when I was in college floating around. I would love to relive those day with an endless series of snapshots of us having cookouts, going to the beach, etc. If only we had had the foresight to hire a photographer to follow us around and snap pictures.

Take a lesson from Toots, kids. Now that you have digital cameras, cameras on your phones, etc., make sure you document and archive these memories and you will have ample opportunity for soulful reminiscence later!

"This is the story that doesn't end, Yes, it goes on and on, my friend. Some people started drawing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue drawing it forever just because...This is the story that doesn't end..."

It was a BIG deal taking pictures "back in the day" with our little brownie cameras! Unlike the camera cards of today, you only had about twelve or twenty-four shots, depending on the film you bought. Then when your film was used up you had to take it to the drugstore or send it off in envelopes to "Seattle Labs". You'd be soooo excited to see the pictures about a week later! There was often disappointment, though.Usually you had some bad overexposed shots that were a complete waste, so maybe 10pix were any good. If it was color, it was AWFUL color that looked faded!

So, I'm not buying any of this, unless Wilburrrr is a lot younger than he looks.

What in the heck is the moral of this story? Is it: "decisions you made early in life will haunt you forever and screw up everyone else's lives too"? Or is it "the past is the past and nothing you did in the past is really your fault"? Or is it "if you are a bastard, you will always have a restless feeling"? Someone help me here!

I wouldn't mind seeing some Facebook-esque shots of Wilbur and Abby where one of them is holding the camera with arm outstretched and the two are grinning like fools in a warped, up-close shot. Either that, or doing faux model poses.

I'm still hoping for one more appearance by boozy Aunt Helen. Maybe she had a crush on Wilbur, back in the day, and that is the reason why she ended up becoming a lush? Her burning jealousy over Abby is the reason why she could never accept Kurt as family. I'd love to see a flashback photo of young, sober Helen- perhaps wearing pearls, a fringed jacket, and a long., flowing dress- gazing longing at young mod-hair Wilbur.

Vicki, I don't remember the jingle, but I do remember the horrific bleached pictures those Polaroids produced!

3/18 - For the love of all that is good and right, how much longer can this possibly go on? I'm beginning to think there is no end. That this will continue until 25 years down the road when the strip might actually die. And the thing is, I don't really want it to die because it's capable of such inadvertent hilarity. Basically I just want to harpoon Wilbur and throw him into the sea where he belongs.

This story is NEVER going to end! I can see Kurt bringing his future children to visit their faux grandpa & faux aunt. One day, at Wilbur's funeral, Kurt's grandchildren will be weeping by the casket, over Great-Grandpa Wilbur...

When developing the plot to a story the concept of motive is an important ingredient. Motive is also important in determining guilt in the commission of a crime. Actors need to understand the motivation of their character to give a credibile performance. Without motive, the actions of the characters take on an element of madness. There is obviously no motivation for Kurt to seek out Wilbur and tell him he is his father, when he knows for a fact that Wilbur is not. There is no motivation for Wilbur to so willingly accept him as his son. All of the characters appear to be looney tunes. The premise is ridiculous and the story would be graded a D- in a high school reading class. What you need, Karen, is a few classes in creative writing.

Links I Like

Copyrights

Mary Worth is the work of writer Karen Moy and artist Joe Giella and is owned by King Features Syndicate. All images from the comic strip are owned by King Features. This site is meant to critique, parody, and promote Mary Worth and falls under the Fair Use doctrine of copyright law. Personally, I hope that King Features will agree that fan interest in this great strip is a good thing. My only ambition is that somehow my meager efforts might serve to enrich Joe Giella, Karen Moy, and of course King Features Syndicate.