America has been diagnosed with Talent, and the only prescription it can get is MORE TALENT! Or more SOMETHING (whatever it is that happens on America's Got Talent). We're in New York (again, right?) and the first act is husband and wife doctor duo, Rak and Tak. Their "talent" is singing, though. Not saving lives. As doctors, it should really be their duty never to sing for people, because it's painful and it's not helping anyone.

Next up, we have a dangerous motorcycle act. I think "danger acts" are great for this show, but they're not my personal favorite thing to see. It probably took about four hours to set up, so it better be good! Or at least as good/dangerous as that guy who blew up hot water bottles. This is one act that I hope does not fall off the edge of the stage. They drove their way straight to the Las Vegas quarter-finals.

After that, the Sally Gould Dancers moved through, and I liked them because I love that they wore wigs and none of them were Sally Gould (and yet ... they all were?). Then a guy sang "Hallelujah," which is the most manipulative vote-me-through song ever, so of course he moved through. A limbo specialist moved on next. Just another day at AGT!

Um, then this old guy was really ripped and tan and that was his talent? That was quite enough of that.

Returning from his retirement from the entertainment world, it's Leonid the Magnificent. Do you remember him? Did you block him out? He's wearing a balloon suit, which quickly turns into a dress. I think he's doing Quick Change! It's the best/weirdest thing he has done. The Titanic hat was appropriately nonsensical. It was a tribute to New York? Or just a tribute to Things In General. The audience has since warmed to Leonid the Magnificent, so he's finally through. Take that, Hoff!

Rachel Zamstein moved to New York to be a singer. Now she's on America's Got Talent. By the way: bullying and drugs and hardship. That about sums it up. She was OK. You know, no Rak and Tak, but she was fine. She's going to Las Vegas, but I'm not sure how much farther she'll go based on this performance.

Sandy Kane the Naked Cowgirl performed for/with Nick Cannon in tonight's self-indulgent hosting/judging moment. The act itself was not anything. Maya Sinstress vs Zombie Apocalypse was possibly also performance art? Satori Circus, was another one-man weird-fest. You know what I loved, though? Narcissister. Why NOT wear a mask on your face and the back of your head? Why NOT be a backwards and upside down person sometimes? I would like to see this live somewhere. And Narcissister is through!

As an appropriate bookend to this episode, Sam B is to dancing what Rak and Tak are to singing. But what he lacks in genuine dance talent, he makes up for in enthusiasm. Really, watching Sam B dance is truly delightful. So Sam B will be bringing the heat to Vegas.