Laughing my way through breakups + bad hair days

How I’m Working on My Health One Day at a Time

Working out (in a traditional sense) has never been something I’ve loved. When I’ve done it, it’s usually because I’m being forced/threatened by a coach, I’m trying to lose 13 lbs in 4 days for an event that I forgot about until yesterday, or because I got a burst of energy for a week and a half. That’s basically it. I was the girl in high school who, during the mile portion in gym, would hide behind the big blue mat used for track meets halfway into lap #2. By my senior year, my cheerleading coach would legit have to threaten me if she wanted me to run, and even then, I can’t recall a time where I did it without 5 minutes of negotiating first.

I’ve always struggled with my weight and body image, which is, unfortunately, not new for many girls. There was a year or two in high school when I would consider myself to be a normal size (never thin, but not heavy), but for the most part I was overweight. I try to keep it open and real on this blog, so I’ll just say it- I reached my heaviest weight of 230 lbs in August of 2015. That’s a number I don’t think I’ve ever shared with anyone before because I was so ashamed. I was working at a job that made me miserable, ordering seamless every night and was never active. I’d been in the city for just over a year when for some reason, I woke up one day and decided I’d had enough. I began working out every day, eating super clean and in just over two months, I was down 30 lbs. I struggled a little to manage the loss because I’m normal and I like junk food, but I found a routine eventually, and another 30lbs came off over the next year. All of a sudden I was getting attention from guys, getting compliments from my family, friends and colleagues, and feeling really confident. But I still hated doing any workout that wasn’t the elliptical or Zumba, which are my comfort spots.

July 2015 – Corporate Headshot

April 2017

July 2015 – 4th or July weekend in Maine

July 2017 – Nashville trip

A few months ago I signed up for the J.P. Morgan corporate challenge in NYC. It’s a little longer than 5k through Central Park, something that was laughable to me because I couldn’t even run a mile without stopping. Literally I’d be winded at 0.75 miles and have to stop. I almost didn’t show up on the day of the race. Luckily, some of my friends from work also signed up and encouraged me to go with them. One of my good friends Danielle (of @packinglightly) told me about the Nike Running Club app and told me I absolutely had to download it. I almost didn’t, but I’m SO glad I did! I finished the race feeling so insanely proud of myself, and then started playing around with the app and set a goal for myself to run a 10k (6.2 miles) in October, and then the app created a plan for me. If you have any doubts whatsoever about downloading an app or thinking you could ever be a “runner”, hear me out. In the last 8 weeks, I’ve gone from not being able to run one single mile to being able to run 4.5 miles without stopping. I’m not fast by any means. I run at a 5 mph speed. Grandmas with walkers could probably pass me if they wanted to. But 4.5 miles without stopping?! Hell yes!

6/1/17: Group shot right before my first 5k – you can tell I was thrilled

FINISHER!

Danielle of @packinglightly – I owe it all to her!

7/28/17: 2 months down, and 4.5 miles without stopping!

My health has become less about losing weight (although there’s about 30lbs more that I wouldn’t be sad to see go), and more about seeing how much my body can accomplish. Don’t get me wrong, 4.5 miles isn’t a breeze for me. I’m sweating like a pig, huffing and puffing towards the end and red faced for about an hour afterward. But my body can do that. I’m so psyched about it, and I find myself pushing myself to keep going towards the finish line, even when I feel like giving up at the beginning of mile 2. The other perks haven’t been bad either- my arms are a little slimmer, my tummy is a little flatter – my hair is constantly a sweaty mess which is something I could live without bc ugh, hate washing my hair every day (you already know the struggle).

The best advice I could ever give to 12, 16, or 21 year old me would be to push myself. Forget about all the unnecessary nonsense that truly doesn’t matter. Be a good person, be kind to everyone, and be kind to myself. Treat myself to ice cream, and then treat my body to a nice little run after. I wish I’d started being kinder to myself earlier in life, but so happy I started when I did. If you’ve been looking for a sign, or some encouragement to get started, here it is. Throw on some sneakers, run (or even walk!) just to the stop sign and back if that’s what it takes. Just do it – then tell me how it went 🙂