Atlas Shrugged producer threatens to go Galt over looting critics

After the critical masses came ringing their lepers’ bells, looting the recent Atlas Shrugged: Part I of all its rightful box-office profits by judging it on standards of their own sick “morality,” its producer has threatened to stop the motor of the world, retreat to Galt’s Gulch, and not make any of its planned follow-ups. “Critics, you won,” John Aglialoro said to the L.A. Times, lamenting the fact that he spent 18 years of his life and $20 million out of his own pocket to create the first part of his Ayn Rand homage, only to have his potential revolution shackled and dragged down by the “people,” whose obvious political bias convinced them that it looked kind of boring.

So far the film has only grossed $3.1 million, and even though Aglialoro—the CEO of gym equipment manufacturer Cybex—believes he’ll make back his investment selling DVDs, he says he’s having second thoughts about starting work on the sequel this fall: “Why should I put up all of that money if the critics are coming in like lemmings?" Aglialoro said. "I’ll make my money back and I'll make a profit, but do I wanna go and do two? Maybe I just wanna see my grandkids and go on strike." Ah, and then the world will be asking itself, “Who is John Aglialoro?” and just as it’s starved for innovation and overcome by the collapse of all industry, that’s when Aglialoro returns to lead us toward a more enlightened society based in self-interest, right?

Or maybe not: Aglialoro, a former U.S. Poker Championship winner, is instead developing a dramatic script called Poker Room, saying, “Maybe the critics will be kinder to that one.” So says the hero Aglialoro to the hearing of the world.