Ease up on the hemp bracelet, bro. I’m talking about actual chili peppers here, not the band, sorry. I’ll admit that headline is vaguely misleading, but I’ll tell you what isn’t misleading and that’s accurate information. Fact: terrorists hate democracy, liberty and Gatorade. Fact: if there was a fourth thing that terrorists hate, it would be the bhut jolokia pepper.

The Indian military has just announced that it will begin using the bhut jolokia, or “ghost chili”, to fight terrorism. Defense scientists will manufacture pepper grenades to be used in place of their current standard issue ones (you know, the regular hand grenades that blow up and act like hand grenades). Chosen for its 1,000,000 Scoville units score, the bhut jolokia is notoriously renowned as the world’s hottest pepper (just like your mom).

For comparison, the average pimento pepper ranges from 100-500 [Scoville -Ed.], and jalapeños from 2,500 to 8,000. For your calculations, that’s about 2,000 times hotter .

What’s astounding is that the pepper, capable of choking terrorists and forcing them from hideouts, is actually edible. In northeast India, the bhut jolokia is not only appreciated for its taste, but is also touted as a cure for stomach troubles and a way to fight the summer heat. [source]

Great call India, now not only will you immobilize the terrorists, but with your new grenades you’ll also help them fight that damn summer heat! *fans crotch with magazine* And in case you just can’t get enough of all this chili pepper talk, below is some guy from New Zealand eating one of the aforementioned ghost chilies. If today you happen to be one of the select few who doesn’t want to spend the next ten minutes watching this guy sweat and blink, here’s a synopsis of what you’re missing: