Spoof news stories from Friday 22 August 2014

The following story is indebted to Anthony de Mello.
"Merde" (real name Jean) Wilson was a knock-kneed youth with freckles that never left him until the day he died. He had red hair and crooked teeth and, despite his six feet in stature, never lost his slim build. His eyesight was none too good either; he wore thick glasses all his life.
The boy's parents both died when their car spun off...

In a medical and technological first, doctors at Bueller University Hospital have implanted a GPS signaling device in the head of the penis of a severely obese man. The surgery was performed earlier this week. The man's name is being withheld in ord...

The wonder mellower-outer cannabis, always said to have a positive, tranquilizing affect on its users, has unfortunately not had such an effect on the normally ego-centered Coloradoans who recently legalized use of it.
"Criminy," said Jim Bames, o...

BILLINGSGATE POST: Martha's Vineyard - White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest today responded to critics who suggested that President Obama should not have played golf immediately after giving an emotional speech condemning the ISIS beheading of J...

Cairo, Egypt - A Cairo imam has given the nod to members of the ultra-conservative Salafist sect to ogle showering women they might want to marry one day.
"Just one of the many aspects of Salafism that makes it attractive to believers," Mustafa K...