Divorce Attorney Long Island Offers Tips to Save Your Marriage

Divorce should be a last resort

You owe it to yourself, your spouse & your children to try to save your marriage before seeking a divorce in Nassau County or Suffolk County

As a Divorce Attorney on Long Island I meet with countless individuals considering their options about divorce who are not yet ready to take that step. They are in my office because they feel their marriage is falling apart and they want to know what will happen in the event of a divorce. I am more than happy to answer their questions, however, I immediately ask, “Have you told your spouse how you feel?” Some say yes and some say no.

Now, I am no marriage counselor, however, I view my role as an advocate and advisor. It is not my place to convince anyone that they need to seek a divorce. That decision belongs to the individuals involved, not me. So, when I am faced with this scenario, here is some of the armchair advice that I give:

1. Marriage Counseling: Most marriages have their ups and downs. Honestly, I see a lot of couples throwing in the towel without even considering counseling. It is always worth considering, especially if there are children involved. So long as there is no domestic violence involved, I think the couple owes it to themselves and their children to give counseling a chance before seeking a divorce. I have worked with many couples who started a divorce proceeding, and at some point decided to give counseling a chance, and because of counseling, saved their marriages. I have even received cards from those individuals thanking me for not pushing a divorce and supporting their decision to try to work it out. I am not saying that counseling is the magic pill that will save every marriage; however, if haven’t tried, how will you know? So, before ending your marriage, make sure you have no regrets.

2. Romantic Gestures: A client recently told me that her spouse was unhappy because he didn’t feel loved. She told me, “He has some nerve. When was the last time he told me that I was pretty. I can’t remember the last time he took me on a date.” I immediately thought to myself, marriage is a two-way street; you each have to put in the effort. I recently saw a post on social media that marriage isn’t 50-50, it’s each spouse giving 100 percent of themselves to their spouse. All too often I see that couples get comfortable with each other and take their spouse for granted. So, if your marriage is going through a rocky period, try to spice things up. Plan a date. Don’t tell your spouse the itinerary, keep him or her guessing. Go away for a night, a weekend, a week. Go out to dinner at a new restaurant. Do anything that isn’t your normal routine. Buy her flowers. Get him a new tie, shirt, etc. But stop complaining that your spouse doesn’t treat you the way that he or she used to if you’re not putting in the effort either.

3. A Trial Separation: OK, you went to counseling. You did the romantic thing. Your marriage still seems to be falling apart. Before committing to something as final as a divorce, you can give separation a try. I don’t mean a legal separation, I mean a physical separation. Try staying apart for some time. The couple can sign a letter agreement wherein they acknowledge that they are giving physical separation a try and that no one is abandoning the other and that neither party is giving up any legal rights to property or the children. The couple should also include who will pay what bills during this time in the letter. Some time apart may clarify the relationship for the couple. Maybe you will miss your spouse. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you will realize you can’t live without him or her. Or, you may realize you are better off apart. Either way, you will know that you pursued every avenue to see if your marriage will work before throwing in the towel.

So, if you are considering a divorce, ask yourself “have I done everything I can to work on my marriage?”. Maybe your marriage can’t be saved, or, isn’t worth saving; that decision lies with you. However, if you are meeting with a divorce lawyer to get information about divorce just in case, maybe your time is better spent coming up with a plan to save your marriage.

Receive a Free Consultation from an Experienced Divorce Attorney Practicing in Nassau County, Suffolk County, Long Island

As a Divorce Attorney on Long Island, I never mind meeting with anyone who is seeking legal information about a divorce. Therefore, if you would like a free, confidential divorce consultation with an experienced Long Island divorce attorney, please call today. Our telephone number is 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get right back to you. I look forward to meeting with you.

Download our Free New York Divorce Guide

Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced divorce lawyer Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.

Related Posts

As a Long Island divorce lawyer, I see that for most divorcing couples, compromise can be very difficult. Many of these couples believe that while “other” couples might be able to find common ground, it will be next to impossible in their case. Communication is Key to Reducing Stress and…

As a Divorce Lawyer on Long Island, I counsel my married clients in Nassau County and Suffolk County that they are entitled to become legally separated if they do not wish to divorce. Many couples choose separation rather than divorce, and they have a variety of reasons for making this…

I am a paralegal in an unrelated field of law. I phoned Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today intending to refer a client to their office. Instead (and despite that we are the midst of the present crisis), Mr. Hornberger himself graciously accommodated my questions over the telephone, and was generous with his time and adroit in his response, saving our client a small fortune in unnecessary legal fees. I have not had any similar experience, in which counsel was so generous with his expertise, in 22+ years of interacting with prominent, local attorneys, and the client is overjoyed. Based on this experience, I would now whole -heartedly recommend this firm as trusted professionals to any client requiring a firm expert in family law and related legal issues.

Everett Roberts

14:30 18 Mar 20

Going through a divorce was very challenging and emotional. Searching for an attorney can be challenging as well when you consider everything that is at stake. The choice I made to work with Rob Hornberger was surely the best choice available. His professionalism, expertise, and understanding made him and the entire team perfectly suited to achieve the outcomes I desired. Rob was always available to answer my questions and give me advice and legal considerations that affected my situation. The support I received from his staff was exemplary as well. The staff was courteous, kind, and also very professional. Thank you so much Rob and team for a worry free experience.

Annemarie Cusumano

21:41 17 Mar 20

Being in family court especially when your children are on the line is extremely emotional and stressful but working with Robert and Christine put me at ease and made the process as pleasant as a situation like that can be. I have a now 3 year old daughter (who is the most important person in my life) and I've been working with them for over two years since my daughter was 7 months old, the case has been up and down and through it all Rob and Christine have never given up. My original case was due to a neglect charge. Cps is not easy to work with, but Rob and Christine were vigilant and I ended up getting my daughter back within 8 months and did not have to plead guilty to the neglect. Currently I am in family court to figure out a custody agreement. They are professional, empathetic, and patient. They have always explained everything thoroughly, informed me of all my options and advised me of what my best option would be. They always respond quickly when I contact them with questions or concerns and most importantly they fight for me in court and don't give up even when things get rough. Before hiring Rob and Christine I met with other attorneys who did not make me feel confident or comfortable at all about my case, so I am very grateful to have found Rob and Christine and to be represented by such great attorneys. I highly recommend them for any family court matters and will definitely continue to use them in the future if needed.

Steven Frierman

02:25 07 Mar 20

After meeting with 3 different lawyers, we felt Robert understood us best and he genuinely had our best interests at heart. This helped us resolve a few minor issues in a timely fashion and make a potentially stressful situation go more smoothly.Thank you

Randi Gottlieb

18:47 03 Mar 20

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. - Mr. Robert Hornberger and his staff are beyond professional, they quickly gave me my consultation appointment, and helped me with an after-Divorce issue. Mr. Hornberger was empathetic and explained to me what I should expect. Mr. Hornberger was extremely professional and advised me of my options, he helped me proceed with accurate and smart decisions. I wish I had Mr. Hornberger and his highly recommended staff when I was getting divorced. I would highly recommend Robert and his staff to anyone who is getting a divorce or in need of help with situations after the divorce!

Reviews

I have known Robert for more than 8 eight years. Robert has represented many of my family and friends. Each and every one has raved about Robert’s professionalism and expertise. He is knowledgable, friendly and truly cares about his clients. I would not hesitate to continue to refer Robert and his firm in the future!

I’ve known Robert for most of my life, and feel very fortunate that I have been able to turn to a good friend for various kinds of legal advice. He is very intelligent, straight forward, and professional. Most importantly though, Robert always finds the fastest resolution, and will not waste your time or money. He is NOT in the habit of dragging things through litigation if there is no need for the added expense. I have referred a few of my friends to Robert, and they have all been more than satisfied in their experience with him. Highly recommend!!

* indicates required

First Name *

Last Name *

Email Address *

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. | 631-923-1910

Copyright 2020. All Rights Reserved. Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

445 Broadhollow Road, Suite 110, Melville, NY 11747 | 631-923-1910

Long Island Divorce Attorneys, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Mediators, Family Law Attorneys serving Nassau County, Suffolk County and the five boroughs of New York City.

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full Privacy Policy

Attorney Advertising. This web site is designed for general information only. The information presented in this site should not be construed to be formal legal advice nor the formation of a lawyer/client relationship.