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Thursday, November 8, 2012

A Letter to Nice Guys

Thank you for not falling into the trap of being an asshole. But I don't think right now, you're going to like this letter. I know it seems like all of the assholes are the ones getting the pretty girls. Well, because they can. The truth is the pretty girls just want to be the one the asshole changes for. These girls don't know right now that that's the longest of long shots. Every girl everywhere won’t admit this, but they want to be the one. Not that stupid terminology of “the one” meaning 'forever and ever, babe' and rings and shit, but more so those girls want to be the one girl that asshole stops being an asshole for. John Mayer anyone? He’s ripped through the hearts of countless other girls, yet for some reason this guy has no trouble snatching the heart of another foe. Maybe it’s his abs, maybe it’s his eyes, or maybe it’s the fact that every girl on the whole damn planet thinks they can be the girl “John Mayer” retires his bad boy attire for, trading in for the knight in shining armor look. PS: ladies – it’s probably never going to happen. We keep on dreaming but we keep on trying.

But nice guys, you see all that is no good for you right now. I'm sorry I can't see that. I know somewhere deep down in the crevices of my heart, you’re the guy I want to end up with. You’re the guy who opens the door, who kisses my forehead, and who gives me flowers because it’s my half birthday. You’re the one I want to marry and have children with. But right now nice guys, I don’t want you. You almost literally get on my nerves. "Got plans tonight, pretty lady? I know of a good restaurant that has a great red wine. :)" ..... ugh. Why can't I eat that up?! I can't. Because right now, I want someone who is going to give me a thrill, give me a chase and make me not so certain of their feelings for me. Why? Because I am somewhat of an idiot. Nice guys, you’re the definite bet, you’re the 100%, and with you, I roll a 7 with two dice every single time. Right now, I still want to gamble with my heart on some asshole, but yet, I sadly expect you to wait. What's wrong with me? It’s not fair I know. I expect you to still be there ready to take me on a date and swoon me away into the sunset on a horse drawn carriage while the asshole would only take me to Burger King and with that, the only horse I would see is the toy that comes with the Big Kids meal.

I promise though, one day I will get my shit together and be over these risk taking, heart wrenching ways. One morning, it will all piece together in my head and your arms will be the ones I come running to. But that moment isn't today. I know I’ll hate myself for not noticing you sooner. Instead of blowing off your sweet texts and gestures, and rather being intrigued in a 2am “come over” text from an asshole, I’ll love the fact that you text me during normal business hours. You will win one day. Nice guys do finish last, but trust me, they end up with the girl. So nice guys, I’m sorry I can’t notice that now. I’m sorry I can’t notice you now. I still have a few more chances to take and a few more dice to roll.