NaNo 2010 Day 10: Dejection from the Past (or, Questions about Quality)

Writers’ Block Moments: Today was just as bad as yesterday. I just couldn’t sit still and look at the darn thing. And when I did, I couldn’t decide where to go. Maybe I needed today’s break, a breather from the words before I began to feel as if they were taking on a life of their own and wrapping an unyielding hand around my neck.

Late Nights: 0

Snippet: *Frowns*

Notes: I mentioned yesterday that upon rereading my older unfinished draft (and some other fiction, not all necessarily mine), I began to feel a sense of discomfort with the quality of the draft I’ve been hammering out.

I’ve already made peace with the fact that this draft is bound to be imperfect, and that that’s okay– expected, even. Still, something nags me about this entire realization. Even when I’m excited to work on my daily addition to the novel, I feel that my work is sub par, and I don’t know what to do about it.

Truthfully, I feel a lot like I felt in all the previous months I’ve spent trying progress with this piece– concerned about my capabilities. I reread that unfinished draft and thought to myself, “Stress level and time restrictions aside, why doesn’t what I’m writing now sound like some of this?” It’s more than just the years that have gone by. Something has changed, and I don’t know what. Maybe it’s the years of sleep deprivation.

I’m actually rather upset, though the last thing I need to be feeling in the middle of all this is discouraged. There’s little worse than feeling as if you’ll get to the end of a month like this with something worthless.