Suspect # 1 | The Easter Teddy

We haven’t called this item “The Easter Teddy” just to confuse you (although it certainly confused US when we first saw it), that’s its actual name. No, we have no idea either. As for what it IS, well, it’s OBVIOUSLY a hat, d’uh! And what a hat it is, too! Unfortunately you’re going to have to just use your imagination if you want to know what it looks like on a head, because either they couldn’t find a model willing to wear it, or they couldn’t find one that looked as good in it as this block of wood, who knows. We’ve always been of the opinion that if you can’t instantly tell what type of clothing item you’re looking at, it’s probably a crime of fashion. We stand by that, but if you feel you can make this look stylish, more power to you.

Suspect # 3 | The Sunblock Hat

This hat can apparently be worn three different ways: we’re not sure if they’re ALL this ridiculous, but we’ll say one thing – it’ll definitely block the sun!

Suspect # 3 | Complex

This jacket is described as a “complex multi-zip jacket”. Clothing shouldn’t be “complex”, people. Getting dressed should be easy. But the jacket isn’t actually our suspect here: it’s the … what IS that, anyway? Is it a skirt? Shorts? A diaper? Is it a crime of fashion? We’d answer “yes” to at least one of those questions…

Join us next week for another Fashion Crime Friday: and in the meantime, don’t forget to follow us on these social networks: