Putting My Head Back In the Sand...Maybe

This is a discussion on Putting My Head Back In the Sand...Maybe within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I've appreciated all the comments and information that I've learned on this forum. I thought I would share what's been on my mind lately.
I ...

Putting My Head Back In the Sand...Maybe

I've appreciated all the comments and information that I've learned on this forum. I thought I would share what's been on my mind lately.

I have a very public and interactive sales job (Real Estate Agent). I started shooting handguns with a friend of mine a year ago. Since then I've been more and more involved with learning and preparing myself for the responsibility of CCW. (LFI-1, LFI-Advanced Handgun, CCW-Utah, IDPA matches, Body Language Study, etc).

For the past 6 months I've carried 90% of my waking hours. I've never had anyone "make" me or anything like that but I think carrying is hurting my sales.

By that I mean, since I've read so many stories on forums about what a crazy dangerous world it is it makes me a bit too apprehensive.

Perhaps if I didn't have a job like this it wouldn't matter much but my job is my love and interaction with the community.

None of my family or friends have mentioned anything like "you're acting more reserved, or you seem apprehensive, or why don't you come out anymore" but I think that by carrying all the time I have this "threat" mindset that is mentally effecting me and my interaction with my clients.

I don't think I was a naive person before I started carrying but I certainly didn't think about person to person violence nearly as much. This isn't to say I haven't experienced it myself or viewed it in my community. In the past 10 years I've been very close to being stabbed (Ecuador) Kidnapped (again Ecuador) mugged twice (hometown) and other odd situations.

Some people might not agree with me but I believe that there is far more going on out there than the basic senses we have. Meaning, our thoughts go out into the world and people subtlety feel these thoughts and it effects their actions and feelings toward you.

My sales in the past 6 months have been horrifically low, but I don't feel that I've worked less effectively. If anything I've done much more in terms of business development in the past 6 months than in the past two years.

Perhaps to a degree my sales are reflective of the economy at large but I wonder if there is a correlation between this and my carrying.

I don't want to stop carrying, I think it is something that makes sense for some people and not for others. I am an advocate of personal responsibility and CCW is another example of that mindset and lifestyle.

Anyone out there have any advice?

Oh, I thought I would mention something else. Carrying has become more comfortable for me (physically and mentally) over time and the deeper I carry concealed the less I worry about having someone discover me. And the less it feels like I "mentally print"

Forgive me if I'm being naive of if I'm off base, but it sounds like your problem is an issue of mindset, not an issue of carrying or not.

In what way do you feel it's effecting your business performance and/or sales?

Are you limiting the places you will and won't go because of carrying?
Are you refusing to work with certain people because of carrying?

I guess my point here is, the real reason your performance changes when carrying isn't because the gun is on your hip - it's because your mindset changes when you're carrying.

Keep up your level of caution, but relax a bit! Situational awareness is good, but paranoia is not - it shouldn't affect the way you live.

Try an experiment for me. I'll hope you have a little snubby .38 or etc... for this, but throw a "pocket gun" in a zip-up jacket pocket (one that you'll be sure won't come unzipped on its own) and just forget it's there (within the law, don't take it where you legally can't).

I definitely think it's time for you to take a break and relax. Take that however you want---keeping yourself healthy in mind and body is #1 on the list of priorities. As far as 'mindset', your every day though patterns and ideals----everyone is affected differently---for some the time period may be short---others seem to be un-phased. If you're starting to get the notion that you're being paranoid---clear that notion from the memory banks now. As for your sales and client's reactions of recent times---it seems to me that now is a bad time for home sales at least. Record foreclosures this past year. The economy is to blame in my opinion. Do what you need to do, and maybe stop thinking too much about all that stuff. Good luck in anything you do.

Reading these forums and carrying can make changes in you, both good and not so good.
If you take too much of this world with you to your everyday life it can disrupt you attidute.
Take a friend to lunch and ask him/her why you sales are down. Ask if they have seen a behavioral attitude change. Let them talk. Ask what they think is your best sales tool and if they perceive it to be up to par.
Hopefully you are just in a slump and can work out of it.
Reading posts in these forums can cause you to take some negativeness if read in the wrong light.
Best wishes to you.

Forgive me if I'm being naive of if I'm off base, but it sounds like your problem is an issue of mindset, not an issue of carrying or not.

In what way do you feel it's effecting your business performance and/or sales?

Are you limiting the places you will and won't go because of carrying?
Are you refusing to work with certain people because of carrying?

I guess my point here is, the real reason your performance changes when carrying isn't because the gun is on your hip - it's because your mindset changes when you're carrying.

Keep up your level of caution, but relax a bit! Situational awareness is good, but paranoia is not - it shouldn't affect the way you live.

Try an experiment for me. I'll hope you have a little snubby .38 or etc... for this, but throw a "pocket gun" in a zip-up jacket pocket (one that you'll be sure won't come unzipped on its own) and just forget it's there (within the law, don't take it where you legally can't).

Just my two cents, hope I'm not way off base.

Peace,
Pete Zaria.

No you're not off base at all. That's just it there is a very small physical component but the vast majority of it is mental. I'm not changing anything in terms of who I work with , where I go or anything like that.

Specifically, it's hard to explain how I feel, it just seems that fewer people are responsive to me. Reduced returned phone calls, more hesitancy etc.

I never want to blame not making my goals on "the market" I think that if you work efficiently and work hard you'll be able to do what you want. With that said the overall sales volume of my type of inventory is down about 70%

Yep, I have a j frame don't remember the model number but it' the scandium/titanium 357 Smith and Wesson.

Part of the mental thing is just knowing that my weapon is on my hip, it sort of keeps me thinking about it to a degree. I really would hate to bend down to pick something up and then my client thinks "oh what the h__LL is my agent carry a gun for"

I definitely think it's time for you to take a break and relax. Take that however you want---keeping yourself healthy in mind and body is #1 on the list of priorities. As far as 'mindset', your every day though patterns and ideals----everyone is affected differently---for some the time period may be short---others seem to be un-phased. If you're starting to get the notion that you're being paranoid---clear that notion from the memory banks now. As for your sales and client's reactions of recent times---it seems to me that now is a bad time for home sales at least. Record foreclosures this past year. The economy is to blame in my opinion. Do what you need to do, and maybe stop thinking too much about all that stuff. Good luck in anything you do.

Hello,

I think the majority of the people on these kind of forums aren't paranoid (but I can see how some members of the public would think that). And I don't see myself or believe that I act paranoid.

It's more of a "in the back of your head" kind of thing. It's not a bad thing to have a consciousness of saftey but I'm just concerned it's effecting my work.

Maybe I should just stop reading the "tactics/scenarios" threads and lay off the forums.

I believe it is more 'other peoples' mindset. If I was in the market for a big ticket item, and prices were falling, I would not want to be one that did not 'buy at the bottom'. Who wants to pay (multiple) thousand dollars more for a house that is depreciating?

It appears from your post that you have been a real estate agent for two years, with the first one and one half years being good for business and the most recent six months bad. I have never been an agent but I have been around a long time. I don't think your slump has anything whatsoever to do with the fact that you have been carrying for the last six months. Zip, zero, ziltch, nada. I almost wish it was otherwise.

Real estate is cyclical. A prolonged boom period ended a few months ago. Being in the business you're probably very aware of the market sitiuation. New home construction is way way down and that's because there is no or almost no demand. The same thing happened in 1974 when Carter was president. I remember talking to an agent at that time who said the business was horrible.
If the '74 scenario repeats itself it's going to be at least three years before real estate percolates again.

Also, don't forget that in the single family homes market people don't want to do anything after about Sept. because of kids in school and the holidays comming up but they sure want to be listed by April. IOW you should see activity pick up soon especially if you're working single family homes. Good luck!

My dad's wife is a realtor, her sister is a realtor. They would tell you that it is the market. Our area isn't being affected as bad as others right now but it has seen a downturn. Btw, they both carry because of a seminar on safety and reccomendation from the officer there.
You shouldn't be consumed by the "what if's" in life. Enjoy what you do without looking for the best cover or the fastest exit is all the time, you can do that in a second or so without consuming too much thought. That's another way of saying relax a little. Wearing your CCW shouldn't give you anymore thought than the sox you put on. It's just a part of your wardrobe. Being guarded and being on guard are 2 different things. If your on guard all the time, it's going to affect you in a negative way.
I'm going to a water slide park this weekend with my kids. I'll be nekkid except for my swim shorts. I'll get the layout of the place as best I can, make a few mental notes but I'm gonna have a bunch of fun. Hope that wasn't off track too much.

I think wvshooter and kpw hit the nail on the head. The real estate market isn't exactly hot right now.

From the seller stand point it's a horrible time to have to sell a home, Sure it's a good time to buy (especially if you have cash) but even buyers are hesitant these days with all the lender issues that have been on the news lately and it's not just those who need sub-prime loans.

It doesn't have to be a personal crisis when facing a situation where it's illegal to, or you would just rather not carry. And make sure to keep what you read online in perspective. A college friend of mine was terrified about having to fly to France for an academic year abroad. When I suggested that she take the QEII (which then still made regular transatlantic passages), she said that she was even more afraid of sharks! It happened that she had a fascination with airline disasters and shark attacks, which she reinforced by avidly reading stories about them. Instead of developing an understanding of sharks and commercial aviation that would allow her go about life more informed or prepared, she cultivated a near debilitating fear. Forums like this should help you learn about your right to self defense in a good way. If you are somehow withdrawing from your professional life, perhaps you're developing a genuine paranoia.

You obviously put quite a bit of thought, time, and study into carrying. You seem to me like the type of person that analyzes things, takes his time, and then makes a decision. This is usually a great thing.

This is one of the times that I think you're over analyzing the situation. Your mindset changes when you're carrying and it should, to a point. Do you carry around friends and colleagues? This is great practice to learn to remain yourself despite your heightened awareness.

The market's down and that's hard to accept when your livelihood is effected. It'll come around, continue to focus on working hard and persevering and you'll pull out of the downturn that you've had.

IMHO I too believe it's a market thing. I sell cars for a living and believe me I feel your pain. Sounds like you can conceal quite well. Sometimes I am feeling grateful and happy but I forget to tell it to my face and telegraph unintended emotions or sentiments. Not good for sales. But those are things I can work on. I sell good products and provide a great service. When people come to me they come with a purpose and they generally don't care how I feel nor do they care nor sense how I perceive them. They are for the most part oblivious. If you wear a gun remember It's not the clothes that makes the man. The mind set, you can work on. Perhaps motivational sales tools or seminars can help with that. Perhaps deeper concealment is also in order. I don't think you should compromise on your security. Give it time I am sure things will get better and you'll view all of this through different glasses. Good Luck.

Your current sales slump has nothing to do with the fact you CC a firearm. Watch the news in any major city in the USA and you will hear the same thing. Real estate sales are way down and foreclosures are through the roof. This is a nation wide problem. I say take a deep breath and relax, many realators I know out in CA. take a part time job when the economy slumps like this.
NCH

I haven't read all the previous posts. Personally I don't think your sales are off due to the mindset of you carrying. All I can say is "lighten" up a bit while ccw, in fact with your job and ccw you ought to feel somewhat better. Personally I'd feel distracted and vulnerable if I were unarmed. I know of one real estate agent that was found dead up in the attic of a house she was showing.....and no leads today. I'll bet she was unarmed.