Beyond Cigarettes (for Wild)

Tired. Angry. Hurt. Worried. Sad. Never happy. It was all negative. She had never felt so pessimistic in her entire life. Never.

Standing in the alleyway, Ava was beyond cigarettes. Nothing was going to soothe her. Her mother was in danger, and if something happened to her mother, she wouldn’t know what to do, she would be beside herself. The girl couldn’t stand still. She paced back and forth between the walls of the shops, running a hand through her hair so many times it was almost stuck against her head before she tied it up and out of the way.

The strings on her coat served as a replacement. Her fingers twisted and tugged at them, constantly looping it and unlooping it until her fingers were marked with lines. She glanced towards the street so often, it must have looked as though she had a nervous tick to any passersby. But she couldn’t help it. Ava was a ball of nerves posing as human.

Her conversation just the day before rang in her ears, making her head throb painfully.

“Miss Seymour, are you aware that you have been fraternizing with a known enemy to Agrona’s Force? It doesn’t matter either way. We have seen you doing so, and would advise against it. Those cigarettes might be bad for your health already, but have you spoken to your mother lately? She has not been doing too well, Ava. She will not get any better if you continue these questionable activities. Do you understand?”

Anger flared up inside her again, causing tears to spring to her eyes, tears she angrily wiped away. She wasn’t going to do this anymore. Her mother didn’t need to be brought into this.

For the first time since she started meeting Ed, her pockets were empty, leaving nothing for her to grab and hold on to in order to distract herself. Sunlight streamed into the alleyway, brightening the day somewhat comically, illuminating her hair so it looked like it was on fire. She hoped nobody saw her. She was doing the right thing, she knew she was. She had to be doing the right thing. She was saving her mother.

Edward headed down the alleyway where he and Ava first met. The last time they interacted was still ingrained in his memory. The Winter smiled as he thought about it. But the smile quickly faded when he approached the girl. She looked upset, in an angry way. He frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked her. Did Argona and her minions tell her to do something she didn't want to? Did he do something wrong?

He'd made it. Finally. Some part of her felt relieved, glad that he had come and she could end this faster than it had started. Ava barely stopped herself from smiling at him, the last time they'd seen each other fresh in her mind and causing her cheeks to prickle slightly, but she pushed it away, the real reason she was here quickly taking over.

There had been a speech she wanted to give him, a whole monologue about how it wasn't him it was her. Because that was true. It wasn't Ed's fault. She, Ava, had made the bad decisions. But facing him now, she lost all her courage. She couldn't give him an explanation.

"I can't see you anymore." It was blunt. It sounded like she was breaking up with him. Were they even a couple? They had that thing on Valentine's Day, but that didn't make them a couple, they were just...into each other. And they couldn't be anymore.

His stomach twisted itself into knots. "What?" he asked in disbelief. "Why not?" Was this her way of breaking up? So was it something he did? He took a step back from her. Why couldn't she see him anymore? Questions kept rushing through his head as he waited for the girl to respond

Ed was reacting differently than she had expected, and it was throwing her off, preventing her from saying everything she wanted to. Why did he have to make it so difficult? The girl scowled, an ugly look that ruined her normally dainty features.

"You were a part of this thing, you know what it's like when you're not doing what they want," Ava said. There was more venom in her words than she meant for there to be. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "They know I've been seeing you. They told me not to anymore. That's that."

Edward grew angry. He sighed. "I should've known something like this would happen. What did they threaten you with?" he said, trying to stall for as much time as he could with her. If he could help her, he would. But he couldn't even begin to help if he didn't know all the details.

Her mother. It had been her mother. Ava hesitated long enough that her response was unbelievable. "The usual," she told him with a shrug of her shoulder, meant to brush it off but not accomplishing what she wanted. She held his gaze evenly, however, silently challenging him to question her further. "All you need me for is information and drugs anyway, you can get that from someone who hasn't been found out."

"What do you mean 'the usual'?" he pressed further. He knew there was something else going on, something she wasn't telling him. "And you should know that you're the one I want to be meeting. I don't want just anyone bringing me VX. And there really hasn't been much information anyway."

Ava ignored his question about what "the usual" was. She had said it hoping he wouldn't question her about it, but she should've known better, she should've known it wasn't going to be easy. The girl could feel herself starting to shut down, her brain not wanting to say anything else.

"I don't know what else to tell you, kid. You're just gonna have to find somebody else to do this because it's not safe for me anymore." She kept her eyes down, refusing to look up at him. Usually a fairly confident person, Ava suddenly wanted nothing more than to disappear.

Edward sighed. "I can't do that, Ava. You should know that. If they're threatening you, or someone you love, let me help. I would have no qualms about going after those Argona goons. And you can't deny that having me help would be beneficial. You of all people should know that they never carry out their end of the bargain. They'll keep twisting and manipulating you until there's nothing left of the original Ava." He told her, looking directly at her. Sure, he was using Ava as an excuse to knock some heads in, but it wasn't all for his benefit. He did actually care for the older girl. Whether or not she agreed to his help was irrelevant. He was still going to keep a close eye on the girl.

"How do you know what the 'original Ava' is like?" she asked, suddenly looking up at him with a somewhat accusatory look on her face. Ava was trying something else to get Ed to drop it. She hoped that if she went on the offensive, he would be mad enough to not want to stick around at all. "We barely know each other. I bet you don't even know what my gift is." She had a strong idea of what his was, with the drug he came for, but she wasn't confident in her answer. Jaw locked, she continued staring, hard, up at him.

"I never said I did know who the original Ava was or is. Nor did I say I knew your gift. I'm just saying that that'll all be stripped away! They'll be nothing left of you to go back to your family if you have one. You'll be an empty shell. Drained of all humanity by the end of this." he said. "If you try and go this alone, then you're dumber than I thought you were. Why do all you goons have to be so damn stubborn?" he shouted at her. Getting him mad was not the smartest decision, but if it got his point across then so be it. "I never had a chance to get help. You do. Make the smarter decision."

"Yeah, that's me, the dumb goon," Ava practically growled. She took a step forward, trying to make herself look scarier than she was. "Dumb enough to start talking to you in the first place. Dumb enough to think I was making the right decision and maybe fixing my life by talking to you. But it's landed me here instead, hasn't it?" Her hands had balled into fists, ready to defend herself in whatever way she needed. Not that Ed would try to hurt her, she knew that, but she was reacting instinctively.

"If I hadn't started talking to you, they wouldn't have to threaten me. If they hadn't assumed there was something more between us, I wouldn't be in this position." Ava's heart pounded. She didn't want to argue this. She wanted out, but Ed wanted to understand and she wasn't going to help him with that.

Edward almost laughed at the girl. She tried to look scary, but she didn't. "Well, you did make those decisions, and frankly, they're better than any decision you've made yet. Honestly, we could get this over with a lot sooner if you'd just accept my help!" He stood over the girl, looking imposing. "Honestly, girl, if you'd actually let me help, we'd probably be done by the end of March. But noooo, you just have to be stupid. I thought you understood what it was like to be in Argona's Army. Apparently I was the only one who got treated the way I did. That's why I like you so much. I thought you'd understand. But apparently not! I'm the idiot who believed that someone else could actually relate to my experiences. Well maybe I should just let you go kill yourself trying to right the wrongs that you chose to do!" He was beyond the point of trying to save her now. There was no holding back from this point. All his anger and frustration was going to come out on Ava whether he wanted it to or not. He got quiet as he spoke next. "One more thing: do not, I repeat, do not try and blame me for what mistakes you made. It was your choice. You could've walked away at any fucking time you wanted to. But you didn't. Blame me for something you did again, and I will make you regret it."

If the street outside their alleyway hadn't noticed their presence, there was no way they were being inconspicuous now. The way Ed talked to her and stood over her lit a fire in Ava that she hadn't felt in years. In an effort to make their physical statures somewhat more even, she took a step back from him so that he wasn't standing over her and allowing her to not have to tilt her head back so far. With more confidence than she felt, she let out a sharp laugh, meant to mock his threat.

"What can you do to me that's worse than what they've threatened?" Her voice wobbled slightly and Ava plowed on, trying to cover it up. "And don't flatter yourself, I'm not trying to make this all about you. Believe me, if I thought you were going to let your ego get inflated, I never would've come to you in the first place. I don't recall asking for your help. I don't need it anyway, asshole, I'm perfectly capable of handling this myself."