Waiting All of My Life

by Theodore R. Westfall

Carole and Theodore Westfall

The nagging pain had been distracting
me for over a week.
Laura, sitting next to me, had
been distracting me much longer.

Riding together in my car, I reached
for Laura's hand while pushing “Play”
on the CD player. The lyrics spoke for
me: “I've been waiting all of my life
for a girl like you.” She squeezed my
hand back. We both had lived six decades
of life, but the pheromones felt
as exciting now as when we were still
teenagers.

When we arrived back to my apartment,
I winced as the nagging pain
worsened. Laura urged me to see a
doctor as soon as possible. A colonoscopy
confirmed that a large polyp had
penetrated the intestinal wall. I learned
that it had been there for possibly ten
years. I was diagnosed with Stage III
colon cancer.

Three months after surgery, Laura
and I took a cruise. I hid in a corner of
the ship wearing a long sleeved shirt
and wide brimmed hat, shading myself
from the sun. “When I beat this thing,”
I thought aloud, “I will spend my life
on the water and traveling the country.”
Laura's face showed her disappointment.
Being closely attached to her children
and grandchildren, she didn't share
my enthusiasm.

Sadly, I began to see that we had
different goals in life. Having no children
of my own, I longed for the quiet
isolation of my apartment. I needed all
of my energy to focus on my healing.
Our days in the sun as carefree young-at-heart lovers had burned out. Hugging
Laura goodbye, I wished her well as I
ended our future together.

I began the next phase of my life
living with cancer, grateful for the
healthcare I was receiving and the support
of my employer and coworkers.
At home, I found solitude, surrounded
by my music and my dreams.

Now, seven years later, I am one of
the lucky men coping with cancer. Laura
is married, and her husband is now my
fishing buddy. Shortly after my five-year
survival, I met my lovely wife, Carole.
She sits beside
me hand-in-hand
listening to a
song I dedicate
just to her: “I've
been waiting all
of my life for a
girl like you.”

Hey guys,
don't laugh. At
my age, I haven't
time to learn new tricks when the old
ones still work just fine.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

This article was published in Coping® with Cancer magazine,
July/August
2008.