What Your Favourite Games Console Says About You

Ok I admit it, this isn’t an exact science. There hasn’t been a vast multitude of surveys handed out to every gamer on Earth in order to create enough personality profiles to correctly identify the exact answer to the titular question, nor was there any sort of ink blot or IQ test involved in our ‘research’ for this topic. But hey, this is the internet, what did you expect?

Of course we have used a certain amount of thought in preparation to answer this age old question (read: week old question), so we’re not quite at the horoscope level of talking bollocks just yet. The only difference between this article and the more academic stuff is that instead of backing up our points with boring things like ‘facts’ and ‘knowledge’ we’ve used wild speculation and massive generalisations; because if it’s good enough for FOX News, it’s good enough for us!

There are five consoles included on this list and depending on the article’s popularity a part two may be written to cover some of the others, so if your favourite waste of time isn’t here then make sure to comment so we know what it is. Enjoy.

Nintendo Wii – The Noob

The Wii is a console for two types of people: children and casuals. Most of you reading, simply by the determining factor that you’re interested enough in games to press on this article, probably don’t hold the Wii in very high favour. Those who like playing Wii aren’t full-time gamers, instead only picking up the control once or twice a week to jump around as a brightly coloured character for an hour or two before abandoning the endeavour to do something they actually enjoy.

If you are one of those people then chances are you’re either under 13 or a woman over 40, unaware or uninterested in the vast array of superior and more enjoyable games on other platforms. Perhaps one day you will become a more hardcore fan of the entertainment medium, but for now you probably prefer spending time with your family to the virtual world and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially as you’re probably not reading this paragraph anyway.

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Oldfield is a journalist, reviewer, and amateur comic-book writer (meaning he's yet to be published). He's a man who'll criticise anything, even this biog, which he thinks is a bit crap.
For notifications on when new articles are up and game related news, follow him on his Twitter account @DunDunDUH

Discussion

14 Comments

I own an xbox 360 and apperntly
If you are a 360 guy or gal, chances are you spend a lot more time and money going out drinking with friends or playing football than you do in the world of dragons and zombies, usually resulting in you having more friends than other types of gamers but also being broke more often than not.
That isnt the case for me I rarely play online and just play single player

I own a Wii and a 360. I agree about the Wii. I only play it when im getting drunk with my girlfriend. I’m not a massive online game so totally disagree with ur Xbox comments. Id rather play a game like tomb raider or prince of Persia than COD. Saying that though I do love bf3.

I’m an XBox 360 gamer who is also tee-total so don’t go out drinking at all. At the same time I’m also very much happy to try new games and rarely do I play online unless its a particular game. I would say this article, though interesting, is way off the mark.

What a load of drivel. Blatantly written by someone who would have intercourse with his PS3 if he could. I had a PS3 and got rid of it cause i never used it but kept my XBOX because i prefer it. I’m probably pretty safe in saying that most XBOX gamer’s play everything they can get their hands on with the added bonus that we don’t get flooded with all the samey old rubbish that gets swept in from Japan. Sure i have plenty of friends (obviously unlike the person that wrote this article) but then i know how to be sociable, maybe its about time you get out there and talk to some gamers before making rash judgments on their playing habits.

as a PS3 owner I can say this article was most likely written from the perspective of a PS3 Gamer. I would say Xbox 360 gamers might not be as addicted to gaming as PS3 gamers and PS3 gamers aren’t as addicted as PC Gamers but that doesn’t mean the Xbox 360 gamers don’t enjoy good games, although I gotta ask what you 360 players really think of all these crappy kinect titles… really? you also forgot to mention the nintendo loyalists that bought a wii (and possibly wii u) and nothing else and are in denial about the direction nintendo took with the wii and its mostly casual game library. Lastly, where was the PC Gamer catagory? Those are the real die-hard gamers and also the reason why consoles strive so much. If it wasn’t for those gamers always downloading illegal copies of their games then developers would tend to make higher quality games developed FOR the PC rather than for the PS3/360 and ported to the PC. Luckily Steam has steped in to help remedy this issue. That is all I got.

Yeah, the Wii is for noobs and it doesn’t have good games. Except for Mad world, Metroid other M, the prime trilogy, No more Heroes 1 and 2, Resident Evil 4, Silent Hill Shattered Memories, The legend of Zelda, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, Okami, and of course Dead Space: Extraction. I’m sure that I’ve forgotten some of them but I’m sure that a man who appears to be soooo hardcore and who obviously knows everything about video games instead of just judging based entirely on sterotipes would know about the games I mentioned, and even those that I forgot.

Now take off the games in that list that are not only available on the PS3/Xbox360 but run better, and what do you really have? 6 maybe 7 good titles? “you also forgot to mention the nintendo loyalists that bought a wii (and possibly wii u) and nothing else and are in denial about the direction nintendo took with the wii and its mostly casual game library.” – I think I was spot on with this one xP

This was clearly written from the perspective a PS3 owner only, to be a good writer you can’t be biased. Which you are extremely. Now lets see the Wii has: Xenoblade, Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2, No more Heroes 1, Metroid Prime Triology, Metroid Other M, Monster Hunter Tri, New Super Mario Bros, Legend of Zelda: TP, Legend of Zelda: SS, Super Smash Bros Brawl, Mario Kart, Pandora’s Tower, The Last Story, Animal Crossing City Folk, Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn, Tats vs. Capcom, Little Kings Story, Conduit 1 and 2. These games all sold extremely well and are all exclusives, I bet 360 and PS3 don’t even have this many exclusives, much less good exclusives at that. I own all three consoles and can see why the wii has sold over 90 million units, which is about 20 million more than what 360 has sold, and that is because they reach out to everyone. Not just casuals. I could come up with even more good exclusives, if you played xenoblade I guarantee you would argue that it is the best RPG of this generation. I mean where else can you find 100+ hours main story line? You clearly know nothing about gaming otherwise you wouldn’t stick to such stereotypes. Go learn more about just PS3 gaming you tool. Get a life, quit having intercourse with your Playstation and get out and see the world. Worst written article I have read on this site by far.