Posts Tagged ‘Magnificent And Important Advent Calendar 2012’

And so it is complete, all 24 doors ripped open, the destination reached. What a time it’s been, as we’ve divulged our 24 favourite games of 2012, and you’ve expressed why we’re wrong. Please do continue to do so, as you spend a tired Christmas afternoon exploring our celebratory articles, while your relatives begin the traditional zebra jousting in the courtyards.

Each number above uses some form of internet voodoo to link to the relevant article. Remember, they were in no particular order, except for the 24th which is our game of the year whether you like it or not. We only don’t include Horace’s Endless Christmas in the list out of misplaced modesty. You can see the complete list of included games below.

Our Senior Scottish Correspondent makes a welcome guest appearance to talk about an important PC game that wasn’t in our just-concluded advent calendar, but perhaps should have been. This is also an ode to the mysteries and the magic of the device we choose to play our videogames on.Read the rest of this entry »

And so our journey comes to an end. Santa, King Of Hell, has been slain. And all that remains is for us to divine the game of the year from his black and smoking entrails. But what could that be? And what is love? Haddaway didn’t know. But we do. Read on for enlightenment.Read the rest of this entry »

Twenty-two is a number that is important for all sorts of reasons, but perhaps the most important is that it is the neighbour of the eerie and secretive 23. Twenty-two is our only good way of keeping an eye on what twenty-three is up to, and it’s often on the phone, reporting his activities. That weird bastard… I bet he has a gimp locked in the basement.

Some games stand in the light, and allow us to examine their mottled skin. Others cower back in the dark, fearing the searing beam of our critical gaze. But which of these is Game Twenty-One? YOU DECIDE!

Children of all ages, from Bronze to Instagram, anticipate Horacetide with a cloying sense of anxiety in their gut and a glimmer of fear in their eye. When will Ursa Infinita blot out all the stars and gleefully coil around our planet, bestowing the gifts of terror and trembling? No one can say, although some children believe that when the calendar ends, the world will too. Silly children. The next entry is thinking long and hard about those children, and what to do with them.Read the rest of this entry »

Oh good grief, it’s less than a week away. But we haven’t even bought the sacrificial turkey yet. Horace’s infinity doesn’t include infinite patience! Quickly, we must panic! Meanwhile, please rip open the 19th door on the calendar to see the latest of our 24 favourite games of 2012.

The heavens align on the eighteenth day. So it was written, so it shall pass. And when the great conjunction occurs, then the enpurpling of the world shall be complete. And no-one shall say that dub-step is over-used in trailers. Because it will be the music of the heavens, and the angels shall open their mouths to utter “Wub Wub Wub”. And we will shall be merry.

The Seventeenth Day Of The Calendar Of The Endless Bear is one that is still celebrated with maypole dances in some British backwaters. The village of Elastic-Upon-Tweed makes it their bloody pseudo-Christmas, where a foreigner is eaten alive by children trained from birth in the art of man-hunting. So very British. What better way to celebrate then, than with this wholly unrelated videogame?Read the rest of this entry »

Day Sixteen of Advent is of course St. Angela’s Day, the day on which we remember that despite our differences, we can all get along if we just ignore each other and internalise our hate into some sort of ulcer or embolism. So with this in mind, let’s gently peel back the flap to see what’s behind Horace’s unwelcoming glare today.

Try to imagine a world without Christmas… Right, it was the absence of an RPS advent that first hit you, wasn’t it? Sorry to have put you through that, but it’s important to remember the things you value. Fifteen days in I was worried you were taking it for granted. But what does Horace have in store for you today? What gaming treat of 2012 lies behind his sulky-faced door? Will you agree that it should be so celebrated, or become ENRAGED at its inclusion? Stick your finger into that poorly perforated gap and prize it open to find out.

There are many theories about the true meaning of Christmas. The local department store reckons the season is all about attempting to overcome the economic tribulations of the year by selling you some underpants with a picture of a reindeer on them. More sensible folk believe that the year is simply breathing a sigh of relief and inviting them to relax for a moment before the next begins. Those theories are fine but there are darker mutterings too. Some of those can be heard behind the next window of the advent calendar.