Apologies to those whom i offended. I was just making an opinion on the first two pages of responses, which seemed a little rude and not helpful.

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Originally Posted by lolita*neko

And directly to Axelai: who the heck are you talking about? I never see anyone being flat out rude to newbies in the style in my years of being into lolita, yet I still hear stories like this - I'm beginning to think people are either too sensitive/paranoid or there's some secret douch-bag lolita community. xD I'm honestly curious as to who talked to you like that. :c

Well, specifically to me, the people at Anime Expo. There was a very nice lolita girl who sold me a Bodyline dress at a shop in the dealer hall. She was VERY very nice. I bought the pink dress and a petticoat. When i wore it the next day, i saw a lolita in a super nice dress. A white dress with a blue ice cream type pattern on the bottom. I complimented her dress, and she gave me this sneering look. Later, i went to a stand at Artist Alley selling lolita accessories. She gave me one look and ignored me.

It was like... the first time i wore anything lolita. And everyone was so standoffish and snobby that it made me feel like i was doing something wrong. I found out later that the black shoes i was wearing weren't lolita enough, and i needed more accessories. But how was i supposed to know that? No one had told me at the time. Everyone either glared at me or ignored me. If they had told me the rules of the fashion then and there, i would have bought the needed additions at the con and everything would have been fine.

In this forum too, i don't see people being outright rude, but i see some people being a little... i don't know how to say it. Elitest? Like, acting superior for their knowledge. It really upsets me. This is just a fashion. A fashion with a lot of rules, but a fashion nonetheless. So when people act better than others just because they know the rules, its upsetting to me.

But making the style unique and stand out is difficult. Anyone can just wear a pink blouse with a pink dress with pink accessories and shoes. It gets difficult when you start adding different colors, changing the style to fit another, then it becomes a bit more difficult.

It's not molecular physics, but having an unique style in a fashion that's already pretty unique is a hard thing to do.

@Axelai: I think you may have encountered one of the more infamous snotty elitist. When I first started lolita I had a bunch of elitiest sneering and turn up their noses at me. Even years later after refining my style, I still get one or two girls who think they're all that and make fun of anyone and everyone just because they can. People like this shouldn't ruin a fashion for you, there's always that on jerk who dampens your day but be better than them and don't do the same to others. Just learn more about the style, get involved in the community, and enjoy lolita for yourself!

wow. Just wow. XD How does someone ask for advice and then throw it back in their faces? This is just ridiculous! Seriously.

Yeah, Lolita is a strict style that doesn't allow much room for creativity. Sucks, I know, but those of us who choose to wear it enjoy it, and if you don't like it, then it isn't a style for you. There are ways to incorporate lolita into another style, you can be as free as you want, make arm warmers and still have a cupcake skirt with it, whatever. But don't expect lolitas to buy it and don't intend to sell it as lolita. Call it something else if you want it to be lolita inspired. It's like calling a donkey a horse. Sure, they are similar, but they are completely different.

But making the style unique and stand out is difficult. Anyone can just wear a pink blouse with a pink dress with pink accessories and shoes. It gets difficult when you start adding different colors, changing the style to fit another, then it becomes a bit more difficult.

It's not molecular physics, but having an unique style in a fashion that's already pretty unique is a hard thing to do.

I understand that there are many rules to this particular style. My point was, that it is just a style of clothing, nothing more, nothing less. I find it rather a waste of energy to put down people who don't do exactly what maybe a select ten people who 'pioneered' the style would do with an outfit. It seems to me that anyone who would put so much money, energy and time into looking a very specific way might be lacking a sense of purpose in their personal lives. Just seems that kind of energy and perfectionism should go towards something with more meaning.

Didn't you basically just describe cosplaying as well in that paragraph of yours? "So much money, energy and time into looking a very specific way"? You love cosplay, no? Well, we love lolita. That's pretty much all there is to it. Our energy and perfectionism are very well spent.

Didn't you basically just describe cosplaying as well in that paragraph of yours? "So much money, energy and time into looking a very specific way"? You love cosplay, no? Well, we love lolita. That's pretty much all there is to it. Our energy and perfectionism are very well spent.

I actually have only cosplayed a handful of times (3 or 4 tops), and I've spent very little time and money on all of the costumes.

As long as you're happy with yourself. So many people involved in lolita spend so much of their time criticizing the fashion choices of others that it seems unlikely that they are.

So anyone with a hobby is wasting their time? Cool to know.
On my free time sometimes I like to con crit outfits. Its just what I do... I like seeing what people come up with and putting my two cents in if they ask for it because I love clothes and the their endless possibilities.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axelai

Well, specifically to me, the people at Anime Expo. There was a very nice lolita girl who sold me a Bodyline dress at a shop in the dealer hall. She was VERY very nice. I bought the pink dress and a petticoat. When i wore it the next day, i saw a lolita in a super nice dress. A white dress with a blue ice cream type pattern on the bottom. I complimented her dress, and she gave me this sneering look. Later, i went to a stand at Artist Alley selling lolita accessories. She gave me one look and ignored me.

It was like... the first time i wore anything lolita. And everyone was so standoffish and snobby that it made me feel like i was doing something wrong. I found out later that the black shoes i was wearing weren't lolita enough, and i needed more accessories. But how was i supposed to know that? No one had told me at the time. Everyone either glared at me or ignored me. If they had told me the rules of the fashion then and there, i would have bought the needed additions at the con and everything would have been fine.

To be honest no one's going to come up to you and give you outfit tips. I'm sure you would've been much more put off from a girl giving you random outfit crit to your face than a few people not paying you any mind. I know I would be put off by it which is why I would never to it to another person. >_>
Although that one chick was being a jerk doesn't mean that all or the majority of us are like that or the people that were ignoring you are like that. I know at conventions I'm desensitized to other lolitas. I won't come up and chat with one unless I know them or I'm prompted to talk to them some how. I'm sure its the same for others - its kinda like whether or not your doing it wrong to some people its like 'oh, another girl dressed up all frilly.' - its nothing to take personally. I see so many lolis that I don't know at cons and we never speak the entire weekend; its no big deal. With that said, don't let one incident stop you from wearing lolita! Especially just because people didn't react to your first lolita outfit as great as you would've liked. You have to start somewhere.

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In this forum too, i don't see people being outright rude, but i see some people being a little... i don't know how to say it. Elitest? Like, acting superior for their knowledge. It really upsets me. This is just a fashion. A fashion with a lot of rules, but a fashion nonetheless. So when people act better than others just because they know the rules, its upsetting to me.

I'm sorry you see it that way... If we were elitist in anyway I'm sure girls like Meiki wouldn't wouldn't take their free time to make all those sticky posts to help out newbies and keep it updated. We wouldn't take the time to host panels IRL to help out others or come here regularly. I admit I'm fairly blunt when I comment here mostly, but I feel that's the most efficient way to post. I don't comment here to start drama, show that I'm better than someone or argue, I'm here to help out people who need it, share my knowledge and chat about lolita. Its really annoying to come here and try and talk or debate about something in a civil matter only for people to think your try to start crap because you don't sprinkle smileys all over. :c

To be honest no one's going to come up to you and give you outfit tips. I'm sure you would've been much more put off from a girl giving you random outfit crit to your face than a few people not paying you any mind. I know I would be put off by it which is why I would never to it to another person. >_>
Although that one chick was being a jerk doesn't mean that all or the majority of us are like that or the people that were ignoring you are like that. I know at conventions I'm desensitized to other lolitas. I won't come up and chat with one unless I know them or I'm prompted to talk to them some how. I'm sure its the same for others - its kinda like whether or not your doing it wrong to some people its like 'oh, another girl dressed up all frilly.' - its nothing to take personally. I see so many lolis that I don't know at cons and we never speak the entire weekend; its no big deal. With that said, don't let one incident stop you from wearing lolita! Especially just because people didn't react to your first lolita outfit as great as you would've liked. You have to start somewhere.

I didn't mean to say i expect people to give me tips. Just not like, ya know, sneer at me because my shoes are wrong. If my outfit is so wrong, tips are better than acting like i have the plague or something.

Quote:

I'm sorry you see it that way... If we were elitist in anyway I'm sure girls like Meiki wouldn't wouldn't take their free time to make all those sticky posts to help out newbies and keep it updated. We wouldn't take the time to host panels IRL to help out others or come here regularly. I admit I'm fairly blunt when I comment here mostly, but I feel that's the most efficient way to post. I don't comment here to start drama, show that I'm better than someone or argue, I'm here to help out people who need it, share my knowledge and chat about lolita. Its really annoying to come here and try and talk or debate about something in a civil matter only for people to think your try to start crap because you don't sprinkle smileys all over. :c

I didn't mean to say EVERY lolita is an elitest jerk. I'm just saying that a lot of the comments come off that way. It seems a lot of the things posted when people ask for help, isn't helpful, but more of "ugh, you should know this already" mindset.

Its just a HUGE turn off to people trying to start in the fashion if everyone acts like they suck because they're new. A lot of lolitas i meet irl act like that, as well as people posting in here. If everyone were nicer and more friendly with the help, i'm sure we'd have less stories about rude lolitas.

Edit: For what it's worth, I stuck in a pic of the broadcloth dress. It's meant to be cosplay, but I'm the type who makes everything as clothing rather than costumes anyway. I think she's worn it as a dress since then, and I hope to everything she pulled the petticoat higher.

Fai and Sakura?

God, I love broadcloth. Relatively cheap, but decent quality and perfect for most of my Loli and cosplay needs!! Gets wrinkly easily though >.<

As far as deviating from the "rules" as long as you are well informed, experienced and know what you are doing, I have seen amazing outfits that break some of the general guidelines, but no one would go "THAT ISN't LOLITA!!!" It is all about coordinating and knowing what you are doing.

And in order for something to be considered loli, it doesn't have to have lace. Usually it does, but sometimes it doesn't. Innocent world has a lot of laceless dresses.

__________________ Yaoi is my blood, my heart, my mind and my soul.

Cosplays in progress
Kurogane and Syaoran -Tsubasa- Artbook (The one with the signs and Fai's Middle Finger)

Wow, way to make some very broad generalizations about a fashion that thousands of people wear.

What I don't get is the notoriety lolitas receive even though they act just like everyone else, where most people are really nice or average and there are a few bad apples. But of course, negative people get all the attention, build a stereotype, and then even moderate bluntness coming from a perfectly nice person with a bow on their head forever associates them being rude or elitist. So everyone who says there are lots of rude lolitas have no right to complain about people who hate Hetalia/yaoi/Naruto/KH/etc fans because it's doing the exact same thing o_O

And come on, cosplayers can be nasty to each other too, and judge people based on their costume construction or how they acquired it.

Yeah regardless of whatever sub-category you're in there will always be that certain amount of jerks. I've yet to meet a bitchy lolita but they probably exist. Maybe it's just more rememberable because lolitas are supposed to be all fluffy, modest and nice and one being a bitch to you just stands out.