Seriously though, this is how awkward I feel like I look in my new heels.

2. Heel pownage

I’d still like to WALK in my new heels. But seriously, I just got legit stripper lucites and I can’t even climb in them, let along do stuff where my feet touch the ground.

3. Straight leg inverts

Yeah, right now I’m kinda doing that crunching thing.

4. Aerial inverts

I actually haven’t attempted this at all but it seems much, much harder, no?

5. All my students from this term to come back

My current regulars are so rad!!! 10/10 stars ladies, you’re so fun and excited to learn it makes me pee a little. Please come back FOREVER 😀

6. A few really awesome-yet-not-slutty dance vids I can safely post somewhere

The ones I’ve shot so far have been a strange combination of awkward and unintentionally raunchy (CAMERA ANGLE CHANGES EVERYTHING).

7. My pole to finally break in

Seriously, how long does this f***ing take?! I come home all excited to try something I just did in the studio and fall on my ass. Or worse, my face. Yes, that happened. Yes, I am ashamed. No, don’t tell my mom.

8. New pole shorts

Black + cotton + Forever 21=mad cheap looking after two washes. I want some from the place I got my shoes but they were like $25. Pole shorts, Y U SO SMALL YET SO EXPENSIVE?! Honesty, there’s so little cloth… I don’t understand.

9. Mastering spin pole

By mastering, I mean not screaming and jumping off. Seriously, why is my g-d pole like one of those rodeo bulls on spin mode?

10. A way to work a Silence of the Lambs reference into my curriculum

“It takes the lotion off its skin or else it falls off the pole again” is not working. Seriously no one gets it. Suggestions? Was EVERYONE born before 1994? I can’t even.