Deadliest “Warrior”! 09/22/2011

by Joe

Anybody watch Spike TV’s “Deadliest Warrior” show? If you’ve never seen it, let me give you a quick rundown. Each episode showcases two different “warriors” from around the world and pits them against each other based on historical data, weapons, combat experience, tactics, etc. Of course, the two competitors are from similar times, so you wouldn’t see a US Army Sniper versus a Japanese Ninja. You would, however, see a Ninja versus a Greek Spartan (which actually was an episode!). All the data is inputted into a “special program” that simulates thousands of battles based on the numbers. This is the part that I think is silly. A friend of mine put it best: They’re just typing numbers into an Excel spreadsheet. :D But, it is an entertaining show and you do get to see some cool weapons (ancient and modern) in action.

Anyways! The last episode had such a neat concept that I had to watch it: zombies versus vampires! Yup, they gathered data like bite strength, claw strength, speed, etc. and, like every other episode, the data was crunched and battles were simulated! It was interesting to see zombie and vampire “experts” weigh in their opinions, such as Steve Niles of “30 Days of Night” fame and Max Brooks, writer of “World War Z”. Yes, they are fiction writers, but zombies and vampires are fiction too, so it made sense :D

If you want to go watch it, stop reading here because I’m going to spoil :D

The simulated battle (which is dramatized at the end) revealed the victor: vampires! Now, they didn’t put 3 vampires up against 3 zombies, since the zombies’ main advantage was their strength in numbers. Instead, it was 3 vampires verses 150 or so zombies. The vampires’ speed, strength, and intelligence eventually won over the zombie mob, but not before losing 2 vampires to the horde. I wasn’t surprised, but the ending did make me smile. The last vampire ended up suffering bites and the very last scene of the simulated battle showed the vampire being taken over by the zombie virus. I instantly thought of Andrius :D

Check it out! It’s not the greatest show, kinda like a bloodier version of Mythbusters, but if weapons and ballistic gel dummies spewing fake blood entertain you, you should be thoroughly entertained :D

PS. I think a Ninja could kill a Spartan, no problem :)

Enjoy Scene 17 – “Empty Promises”!

Please continue to vote and get yourself a Cubert wallpaper! :D Thank you for voting everyday!

Loved that episode of Deadliest Warrior. i just think that they could have done a better way of figuring out how many zombies they should have had per vampire. I was also rather disappointed that the zombies didnt win in the end lol, but so glad when the last remaining vampire died.

laserheadon September 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm

That was thrilling =D. And I haven’t seen the deadliest warrior in quite a while now!

Jaccepon September 22, 2011 at 2:10 pm

wait.. i wasn’t first! c’mon…..

i cant believe Annika would Follow Bernie..
and then now what? sounds are loud
Zombies got out fast.

great scene… Still, i would watch that deadly warrior episode, but i can’t… Hope they show it in spain soon

Blueson September 23, 2011 at 1:26 am

Don’t tell me Bernie will turn into a vampire too!!!!! Will he be lovey-dovey-vampey couple with Rosa?! Wait… There is his father who could or could not be a vampire executioner… That’s 3 good or Ex-good vampires or whatever…

NeoWarrioron September 23, 2011 at 2:02 am

Annika pushes Bernie out of the way, right? OR Bernie slaps the soldier in the FACE! By summoning Arbiter or something.

Save them with your crossbow Butch! (I think his name was Butch, right?)

Taraon September 23, 2011 at 8:16 am

YEA ive seen DW.Also that was scary at the end when the zompire soilder,because the elder got turned,at the last second CRAP!

Grayon September 23, 2011 at 8:18 am

Oh s*** things got pretty intense now :O

Also, I think the ninja would defeat the spartan if he could do it stealthy, otherwise I think the Spartan would have a little advantage :P

Keteron September 23, 2011 at 8:50 am

Bernie next move: KAMEKAMEHAAAAA

Drakhaton September 23, 2011 at 9:15 am

@Alex: *Raises Hand Also*

Leviticuson September 23, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Goodness knows I’ve tried to like DW, for the ‘awesum kewl’ factor, but that show is just so offensively dumb!
It’s like a big factory of dumb pumping dumbness into the atmosphere!
Ninja vs. Spartan? There are only A THOUSAND YEARS between those two disciplines. And they made no distinction between the steel of the ninja’s weapons and the softer bronze of the spartan arms and armour….
And the ninjato is a purely fictional weapon from martial arts movies…
(Yeah… I know. Being a history buff can be tiresome for those around me!)

I’m pretty sure author joe is going to take this down *spoiler*, i remember in the second chapter somewhere, when outer joe -dream- talked to andy for one more training session where andy gave two guards for joe to mind kill and bust down a barricade door… well joe was in a sense of sleep walking, joe did kill two guards and as seen on the video, bust down that same barricade. so it’s not entirely joe’s fault. anyways… thumbs up by me XD

Next Scene: Chuck Norris comes from the roof shouting ‘THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAA’ and roundhouse kicks the sh1t outta the vampires.

Why I say vampires? There’s one explaination: Rosa didn’t become a zombpire when she was bitten. So,I guess Dom became a zombpire because Cross couldn’t give him the vamp virus Dom arleady had. Maybe the strongest virus comes inside the victim instead of both. Btw,@Alex *Raises Hand*

Happy Vampireon September 23, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Deadliest Warrior? Never seen it, how about deadly ROBOTS? ive seen this epic show known as Robot Wars where somewhat metal clad RC Cars (aka robots) smash each other to bits, there was a brilliant but dangerous arena and some cheating House Robots but were permitted only in the corners.

Robion September 23, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Mother of god, joe (The real one) you are a fucking master #_#

Yay!on September 24, 2011 at 12:48 am

Dear Norman D. Landings: Nijatos are real weapons, that were used in japan before the creation of the samurai system that was used in Japan until the eighteenth or nineteenth (i can’t remeber XD). They are the predecesors of the katanas, and the main diference is that the ninjato is not a curved sword, unlike the katana (but still, ninjas didn’t use ninjatos)

Blueson September 24, 2011 at 3:35 am

Appreciate the info, Blues, but it’s something I’ve looked into, and I have to concur with Stephen Turnbull on this one.

There certainly were straight-bladed swords -chokuto- in early Japanese history, but they predate the Samurai class system, and THAT predates the advent of the ‘true’ Ninja (i.e. the Iga & Koga hereditary Ninja clans) by some 500 years.
And you’re right, they bear no resemblance to anything the Ninja used.

The Ninjato is strictly modern martial arts/movie inspired. No connection to the chokuto, which was probably of Chinese origin.

Really, I spend far too much time on this stuff! :)

Norman D. Landingson September 24, 2011 at 8:30 am

I admit I love the balistic gell experiments n the trying to chop a carcass in half with a sword, but other than that, the show is stupid. I mean Ninja Vs Sparten should of been 2 seconds long. simulation starts, it’s just a ninja in the field…where’s mr spartan? oh that’s right, the ninja snuck into his house last night while he was asleep and poisoned his food, then left. the spartan died at 6am this morning with stomach cramps, cause that’s how a ninja rolls. he dosen’t sneak up on a ninja in the middle of the day in the middle of a field! n if I remember right, one of the spartan Experts talked about how if a ninja threw ground up glass and hot peppers into his eyes, the sparten would just “shake it off”……shake off having ground up glass in your eyes….It’s basicly just 2 fan boys trying to say their stuff is cooler. n the Vampire vs zombies one is a fail too cause there’s no one type of zombie or vampire. you got Anne Rice, Twighlight(accept it), 30 days, nosferartu, dracular, Alucard (of hellsing, fyi, him vs anything, he wins) n white wolf’s Vampire Masqurade (and many more n zombies u got Georgio a Romerio, Original Night of the dead, Remake Dawn of the Dead, Day of the dead, Left 4 Dead, Night of the living trekkies, Resident Evil, even world of warcraft!! (and more) no such thing as a simple “Zombies” vs “vampires” match