Sometimes it seems as if love is elusive – a ‘feeling’ which is held just beyond reach. If you were blessed to be part of a loving and supportive family, you were able to experience what it was like to live in and with love. However, if your family suffered from some form of dysfunction (which most do), love may seem like a foreign concept that is difficult to wrap your brain around.

As for love…you can learn to love and experience the ‘feeling’ of love as you heal your heart from past and present times of hurts and disappointments. As you move towards healing from hurts, you will begin to build a door to your heart that you can then realize you control. You can open it and close it as you need. Shutting it to protect your heart and opening it when you want to let love out…for you see…that is where you begin to love. That is how you learn to become vulnerable without fearing becoming a victim.

God’s love is yours and it is in you now. Your hurts keep you from fully experiencing the joy of that love as you do not feel it is yours to experience. So…continue the work of healing from hurts and learning how to let down your feelings of inadequacy where God’s love is concerned…then his love is experienced in your heart and all of a sudden you are ‘feeling’ love.

When God’s love is experienced in your life, it can’t help but bubble up and spill out of you into the world around you. Love is something that almost takes on a life of its own. It moves, flows and surrounds you when you are willing to open your life to experience the gift of God’s love. It is unconditional, unrelenting, never ending…it is always there and always honest…you do not have to do anything to ‘earn’ it. Learn to let it be yours…

Read and study 1 Corinthians 13. Paul writes how wonderful the gift of love is when we model our lives to live it. When you begin to work on bringing more love into your life – you need to understand that it begins with you living love. Paul tells us what that looks like. Live love, then love will come flowing into your world.

Being single myself, I know that sometimes I feel the void of affection in my world. Sometimes I long for a touch, a hug, the all-knowing smile. But, that it is affection – not necessarily love for which I hunger. Affection is important but is different from love. Affection is a result of being with someone who knows how to live love. But it is important to remember that a life of love can be experienced no matter if I am married or single.

Love is how to live life. Are you patient, kind, selfless, justice seeking? Love is a way for you to live, not something for you to feel. When experiencing affection, you can sometimes experience the ‘feeling’ of love. But, when in the presence of a person who has been mean, abusive, absent from relationship – even if affection is shown, a ‘feeling’ of love may not be experienced. To really experience love in life it is important to learn the difference between affection and love. I know…it is easier said than done. But the journey needs to begin with what you give – not what you receive.

Try living love today…see what happens in your world when you model living a day of love as we are called to live in 1 Corinthians 13. It is yours!

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About Jackie Joens

Jackie Joens is a licensed mental health counselor whose passion is to help people discover the joy possible through healthy relationships, a balance of self-identity and personal goals. If we have a heartbeat we have baggage…how gracefully we carry the baggage is the key to a joy-filled life…Jackie strives to help sort through the contents of our baggage so it is easier to carry.

In addition to her work as a therapist, Jackie enjoys her life through the gifts of her faith, motherhood, being a sandwich-generation daughter, a vocalist, an exercise enthusiast, a lover of learning, and a compassionate friend and neighbor.