shippings!!!

Okay so as
basically every other person out there I am blown away by the latest Yuri on
Ice episode and in a state where I just have to rant about it to even think
about calming down. Prepare for lots of Viktor, and also both our precious Yuri’s.

With just
one look and one line of dialogue, the whole show turned on its head and we can
now watch it from a completely different perspective, more correctly, Viktor’s.

FOLLOW ME
UNDER THE CUT TO READ A MEGA RANT I
PILED UP IN SOME HOURS ABOUT VIKTOR NIKIFOROV AND A LOT OF REFERENCES TO THE
FUTURE

I’d say it’s
safe to assume that Viktor was the one who fell in love first, and that all
Viktor did after that moment was motivated by the fact that he fell so heads
over heels in love with Yuuri during the banquet. Yuuri showed him how to live,
how to have fun, how to connect with someone and how to love someone, something
it’s fair to say Viktor never experienced before. All his life revolved around
skating, and thanks to that his life also suffered. He paid for those medals
with his own personal well-being, on the emotional plane, and was ultimately
very unsatisfied with his life.

Just look
at him after winning yet another gold medal.

At this
point, it means nothing to him. His life is empty, void of affection and love
and genuine happiness. In the shots he shared with Yuuri during the banquet, he
looks thrilled, much more thrilled than winning gold in yet another final. At
27, it’s obvious that his career as a skater is quickly coming to an end, and
yet he decided to press on for yet another season, because I believe he simply
don’t know about any other life. Skating is all he has.

Until Yuuri came into
his life.

There’s
been tons of debate about the look Viktor has here. Was Yuuri just a random fan
that offended him by turning him down? Was he offended another skater turned
him down? Did he just think Yuuri was some random guy that just happened to
walk past in that exact moment? I’ve seen a lot of theories about this, and now
we finally might know why he looks so disappointed.

Basically
there are two interpretations: the first one is that the photo scene takes part
before the banquet, and the other is that it’s afterwards. I didn’t realize
that it could be beforehand until I had spent 5 hours writing and editing this
so I’LL JUST DISCUSS BOTH please don’t murder me for keeping a potentially
incorrect interpretation.

Let me
quickly talk about the fact that it could be before the banquet. I didn’t
consider this until basically 5 minutes ago so I’m only going to wing it (I was
just about to post the original when I was informed of this so now I’m a bit
salty about how dumb I was), but the past meta written by many amazing people
stand; Yuuri can’t allow himself to be in a photo with Viktor, for he deems
himself unworthy and leaves without a word out of shame. This puzzles Viktor,
and leaves him especially curious of this Japanese boy once the banquet starts.
You can see how he looks at him once Yuuri arrives. I hope the rest of the meta
stands fairly well against this point as well, despite not being written around
it. In short, Yuuri piqued Viktor’s interest after initially turning him down.

NOW LET’S
JUMP INTO THE ORIGINAL POINT I WAS GOING TO MAKE I spent too much time on it to
just delete it and it’s a fun way to look at things.

Let’s go back to the
start of the scene. Viktor doesn’t notice Yuuri at first, since he is coaching
Yurio, but once Yakov takes over he finally notice that Yuuri is looking at
him. The screens for this are interesting, and cute.

As we can see,
at first he has a look of civil politeness. We’ve been told he’s always nice to
his fans and seems well liked and skilled in the public sphere, so I guess this
is a common look for him once he’s in the eyes of the public. When he feels
that someone is looking at him the smile drops, however, only to be replaced by
genuine joy when he realizes Yuuri is the one who has sparked his attention.

We know now
this was never just a photo; it was Viktor inviting Yuuri into his space again.
He wanted to immortalize this Japanese boy, not as one of his fans or a fellow
skater but as a human being whom he felt a connection to. Maybe he also thought
to use this as an opportunity to speak to Yuuri a bit more before they parted
ways, to see the person behind the drunkenness. It would have been easy to
start a chat while taking the photo, and a nice way to acknowledge what they
both (in Viktor’s eyes) felt during the banquet.

Instead, he’s
turned down, and his heart breaks.

As we can
see, his first look is not of disappointment, but one of surprise. He could
never foresee that Yuuri, after asking Viktor to be his coach and grinding up
to him, would refuse this innocent request. I feel really bad for Viktor
actually because for the first time in his life he connected to someone and
felt a need to establish a deeper relationship and the man of his affections
just turn his back on him without a word and leaves. He’s disappointed, as we
can see in the screenshot above, but he must also be confused and sad, wondering
what he did wrong, if he just imagined everything, or if he just fooled himself
into thinking Yuuri was interested because Viktor himself crave a connection so
badly. It’s a shitty position to be in, and the fact that he lets Yuuri go with
just this look makes me believe that he felt terribly rejected and thought
there was no use to pursue Yuuri further, since his intentions were clear.

It’s rather
fascinating, considering how their future relationship is built upon the
foundation of good, emotional communication as opposed to the tired miscommunication
cliché used in many other shows. Here the tool of miscommunication is used amazingly,
however.

Fast
forward until Viktor sees Yuuri skate his program.

Me and my
sister got into the show right after episode 2 aired, and we had next to no
spoilers, so when we came to this scene we both reacted on the look on his
face. My sister even pointed out that she was concerned about Yuuri now,
because Viktor didn’t look pleased AT ALL while watching the video. I’ve been
musing about this now. Is it just that he’s in a private space and that’s his
resting face? Or is he, somewhere, a bit salty about Yuuri rejecting him so he
goes into the video with some negative emotions? It’s like “this guy danced
with me and grinded up to me and made me feel alive only to violently turn me
down and now he’s also skating my program?”
As
for the idea that they never met once the banquet was over, I can only imagine
that the video basically played the same role; it fueled Viktor’s interest once
again. I’m unsure about this, but now it’s
obvious he didn’t pack up his whole life and move to Japan for the sake of one
video.

Not
entirely, anyway.

I’m going
to derail myself a bit perhaps but we all know that Viktor skating “Stay Close
to Me” is incredibly meaningful. The lyrics speak of a man trying to find love,
and hating it at the same time, until he finds another (male) lover and he
opens up to the beauty of it again, leaving his bitterness behind. I don’t have
any proof for this except my gut feeling but it feels like Viktor might have
been dissatisfied with his performance? It’s incredible, of course, but he had
no one to skate for. He is the lonely, seeking man, but he hasn’t found his
lover yet. He looks rather sad while he performs, which might just be an
artistic choice, but it’s interesting nonetheless. Maybe the parallel between
Yuuri and Viktor also mirror this. Yuuri looks solemn, and content, while he
skates, and Viktor looks sad. Maybe Viktor’s sadness stems from the fact that
he thought he lost the person he wanted to stay close to, while Yuuri skates
for that said person still.

Yuuri skates
for someone. More correctly, as we all know, Viktor.

When Viktor
said Yuuri create music with his body I don’t think he lied, but it’s obvious
Yuuri’s take on “Stay Close to Me” touched something deep within him, again. Maybe
he thought Yuuri skated it as it should have been skated; longing for someone and
desiring them to be with you, something Viktor lacked. Maybe Viktor thought
Yuuri had changed his mind after the photo rejection and used Viktor’s own program
to reach out to him.

Stay close
to me. And Viktor willingly obliged. In episode 4 he says he never thought he
would leave St Petersburg; it’s a line that tells us a lot about what Viktor
saw for the future: Very little. He didn’t seek or strive for change. He’s lost
but unable to see a future beyond his town of birth. St Petersburg is skating,
and skating is his life. What happens next is a mystery to him, something
scary. And yet Yuuri evokes so much emotion in him that he just packs up and
leaves. Yuuri is his future, be it in coaching or in romance, or both. At least
this is what Viktor hopes. He’s certain Yuuri is interested again once he
reaches Japan, filled with new found passion and hope, and yet his plan once
again ends up beating him in the face.

I get the
feeling Viktor went all the way to Japan, expecting things to pick up right
where they left off. Yuuri, physically and emotionally close to him. I think it’s
fair to say that Viktor is both emotionally and sexually attracted to him, and
expects the feeling to be mutual, in his once again sparked love sick naivety.

And yet all
he gets is this.

HE’S ONCE
AGAIN SO CONFUSED. He wanted to be close to Yuuri and build a relationship with
Yuuri for months now and finally felt he got the invite he needed to do so, only
to be rejected AGAIN. It takes a whole other meaning now, especially if we look
at this screen.

I always
joked with friends like “aww look he’s sad Yuuri didn’t allow him to sleep in
his bed” and other said the tears were just of the kind you get when you sleep
sometimes, but no. Viktor Nikiforov cried and hugged his dog for comfort during
his first night in Japan because Yuuri rejected him. This is not just some
silly crush at this point. Viktor is genuinely in love with Yuuri and is
saddened to the point of tears when his affections go unanswered. I just need a
minute to process how much Viktor always loved Yuuri. He fears he got rejected
again, after dropping everything and everyone he knew just to be close to this
guy. Yakov said he can’t come back if he leaves, and he leaves anyway. He drops
everything and faces his future willingly just because he thought Yuuri desired
him. What if he was wrong? Has he thrown his only comfort away, skating, on a
mere whim? Skating for Viktor, I suspect, is both a prison and a security.

We often
see comments that Viktor is selfish, only caring about himself and rarely
looking beyond his own interests. I don’t see this, since he appears fueled to
inspire and motivate others since others success inspires him in return. Him
getting angry at Yuuri for ignoring Minami is a good display of this. What if
his, most likely extreme, dedication to his career as a skater was misinterpreted
as selfishness? He dedicated all of himself to his skating, sacrificing all
other aspects of his life that didn’t revolve around his sport. He gave
everything to his success as a skater, and in return had little to give back,
for every fiber of his being was consumed by his dedication to his career. He
seems out of touch with other people’s emotions, but I don’t think this is out
of ill intent but more because he never gave enough time to develop the
necessary skills. Skating consumed all of him, and he came out a bit broken, a
bit misunderstood, in the process.

Yurio’s storyline is
also flavored by what we got to know in episode 10. We don’t know if Yurio was
aware of Viktor’s crush on Yuuri, but he might have been. The promise Viktor
made Yurio a few years back, that he would help him during his senior debut,
was incredibly important to Yurio. Enough so to make him smile for himself when
he remembers it.

It was
something he looked forward to, something he worked for. Important enough to
make him drop everything as well and go to Japan to bring Viktor back home.
This also provides some interesting tidbits into Viktor’s character.

We learn
that Viktor is a scatterbrain who’s awful at remembering promises. He forgot
what he promised Yurio, which is understandably upsetting considering how it
had fueled Yurio for years, and he also forgets the new promises he makes in
just a week. The guy let the boys compete about him in a skating rink and yet
manage to forget what he promised to give the winner. Incredible.

But he
never forgets Yuuri’s request. He never forgets Yuuri. In fact, I’d say it
fueled his artistic creativity.

I’m going
to go out on a limb here and say that Viktor probably was mildly or even
strongly obsessed with Yuuri ever since the Grand Prix Final. Not a creepy
ehehehe I shall stalk all your internet presence and all your friends
obsession, but another kind. Maybe not even obsessed with Yuuri himself, but
the feeling Yuuri awoke in him. I believe that Viktor crafted Agape and Eros,
for himself, with Yuuri in mind, but his uncertainty about their relationship
and about Yuuri left him hanging. He couldn’t decide what program to use,
alongside feeling unmotivated that he can’t surprise people anymore. The programs
are interesting though. He made one for unconditional love and one for sexual
love, even though he only needed one short program. Maybe this could represent
his inability to put his finger on what exactly he felt for Yuuri?

We know
Viktor had lovers, since he starts talking about them, but I highly doubt any
of them was agape. To me Viktor feels rather secure in his explanation of Eros
as a program, while he’s much more subdued about Agape. He leaves Yurio with
some kind of vague “oh it’s a feeling” remark, and I wonder if this is because
he’s unsure himself what agape really is. I think we can assume, judging by his
comment that he has neglected love, that he simply hasn’t experienced a
romantic connection with someone before. Sexual connections, surely, but not a deep
romantic one. Until Yuuri, that is. I’m pretty sure Yuuri is Viktor’s first
actual love, and when he falls, he falls hard. He wants Yuuri both sexually and
romantically, and it might be a bit confusing for him as well. Not confusing enough
to force him into silence, of course, but it is clear that he mostly shows
interest in a physical manner. I guess that’s where he feels most comfortable.
Viktor isn’t all that great with emotions, after all, as we’ve come to see.

He picks Yuuri over
Yurio because Yuuri performs Eros better than Yurio performs Agape. I’ve seen
people argue that Viktor was wrong, because Yurio was technically better, but
they miss the point. It was a competition on who could fuel the most emotion
into their program, and there Yuuri triumphed. Yurio even remarks himself that
agape is completely void in his performance. He must focus all his energy on
just skating the program, and he knows Viktor is displeased. Not angry, or
disappointed, but it was not what Viktor was looking for. Viktor wants emotions.
Viktor wants Yuuri. And with that, Yurio’s wish to be coached by Viktor is
snatched away from him, something he longed and trained for since he was even
younger than he is now. No wonder he looks so upset.

I think
most of Viktor’s confusion and accidental misunderstanding of Yuuri is most
evident in the first episodes, after that Yuuri starts opening up and they get
on equal footing, with Yuuri reciprocating Viktor as well, but it’s still the
matter that Viktor always thought Yuuri remembered the banquet. For 8 months of
coaching and getting closer to Yuuri he thought Yuuri remembered the pole
dancing, the dance off, clinging up to him half naked, and for all this time he
undoubtedly fell even deeper in love with Yuuri as the months passed. Why did
he never say anything? Maybe he just thought Yuuri was so embarrassed by what
happened that he didn’t want to bring it up at the time. He has realized Yuuri
doesn’t hate him, and wants him around, but he also wants to build trust in
their relationship and maybe spent all this time silent for Yuuri’s own comfort.
He’s very aware of Yuuri always, and this could be plausible.

One thing that is important to note, however,
is that Viktor never force Yuuri into anything. Yes, he remembers and thinks
Yuuri remembers what happened at the banquet, but yet he never advances too
far. Sure, Yuuri gets flustered at several occasions, which is more due to the
fact that Viktor is Viktor, I suspect. Yuuri is rather fascinating on this
point. I think it’s clear he didn’t love Viktor as a human being during all
those years of idolization, simply because Viktor wasn’t a person to him. He
was a god. He even says he’s in the presence of a god when next to Viktor.
Yuuris is so clouded by Viktor the idol that he denies himself the pleasure of
being in his company when he leaves the hotel/arena/skating rink because he most likely think he
is unworthy. He can’t meet Viktor unless he is Viktor’s equal. We need to come
to episode 7 until Yuuri finally realize that Viktor is just as human, just as
flawed, as himself. And that’s where their relationship finally starts turning
to the point we saw in episode 10.

I admire
the show for not throwing them into this before Yuuri was ready. Sure, all
episodes build to it and there’s sexual/romantic tension from the start, but
they don’t meet on this plane before Yuuri has finally started seeing Viktor as
an equal. Or rather, see himself as equal to Viktor. Only then can they pursue
what later lead to their engagement. It’s masterfully done, and the reason I
don’t think they shared any kisses before episode 7. To have the healthy
relationship they have, they had to tear down that last wall, and Yuuri finally
did that when he cried and confessed what he needs from Viktor to succeed.
Viktor adapts from this, and Yuuri changes from this point on as well. After
this I think you can argue that they have finally entered into a romantic
relationship, after spending months as friends. Trust is an important
cornerstone for these two, always. They trust each other, first as friends, and
then as lovers. Yuuri’s insecurities come from his anxiety not allowing him to
trust himself. And Viktor learns how to support Yuuri, as we can see here.

I JUST FEEL
SO STRONGLY FOR VIKTOR HE LOVED YUURI FROM THE START AND WANTED TO BE CLOSE TO
HIM SO BADLY IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. He must have desired to kiss Yuuri ever
since the banquet but he refrained because Yuuri wasn’t ready, until all his
emotions exploded after Yuuri’s free skate and he just had to kiss him. VIKTOR
IS SO IN LOVE WITH YUURI I can’t even comprehend it.

It’s
evident that Yuuri is his future. But it’s also evident that Yuuri’s desire to
exchange rings shocks him.

His hands
are slightly shaking when Yuuri treads the ring on his finger, and this part
just breaks me because this poor man lived his whole life void of love, void of
truly living, and this Japanese boy danced into his life and changed it
completely, brought him so much love and happiness that he probably desired for
so long but could never find. No medal and no victory in the world can give him
what Yuuri did. He’s in awe over how lucky he is, to be able to walk towards
the future with Yuuri by his side. I don’t think Viktor is scared by the future
anymore; rather, he is thrilled by it.

God I fell so hard into this ship thanks to the last episode I can’t even explain it how. I was so happy with precious Yurio standing alone against the world, but suddenly this Kazakh superheroe arrived with his motorbike to safe the Russian Fairy and also to steal my heart away.

But there is this thing that breaks a little my happiness with this ship. There is a certain amount of posts saying how wrong it is to ship Yurio with anyone just because he is 15-16. And I’m sorry, but I don’t see were the problem is.

1) It is FICTION. Nothing that happens in fiction means that you support something in real life. Would you consider an author a murderer or psycopath for killing a character in his story? No, right? So please, stop insulting people because of what they ship. Also, the best thing about fiction is that it gives you the opportunity to explore a story in any way you can. AUs, aged-up characters, unrequired love, pinning, friends to lovers… There are so many different ways to develop a relationship in a story, depending on what aspects of it you want to explore and it is GREAT that fiction and art give us the chance to do that.

2) A romantic relationship doesn’t have to involve a sexual relationship. Let’s say it again. A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T HAVE TO INVOLVE A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.
Yes, Yurio is 15-16. So? Can’t he have his first boyfriend? Can’t he have his first kiss? Can’t they start dating and stick to kissing and holding hands till Yurio is older and he feels ready? What is wrong with that? Yurio is a teenager, it is normal to start experiencing these things at that age. You can even picture him as an asexual person with romantic feelings for his partner. The possibilities are endless.

3) The age different between them is just 2 years and a half. It is really not that much: 15-17, 16-18, 17-19, 18-20… Do you really, like really, consider this a sin? Haven’t you or your friends or someone you know ever dated a person 2-3 years older than them? It is not uncommon. And it is not as if Yurio is a child, he is 15-16. There is people that started having sex at that age. Where is the problem with having sex with your two and a half years older boyfriend if you both want to?

So, if you don’t ship Yuri and Otabek is ok, truly. Stay away of the tags and be happy. But please, don’t go to the tags to post insults or to make people uncomfortable and make them feel guilty, because there is nothing wrong with it and it is very rude.

Slightly less popular bts ship dynamics (due to popular demand), a reference.

Jihope: the ultimate bromance duo. those dudes who there’s no such thing as too far with gay chicken. wilin out together. the full body laughter duo. like to tease each other relentlessly, but somehow remain amazingly supportive and judgment free. give each other lots of advice. give each other plenty of space and mutual respect. cuddles and backrubs. unrelenting faith in one another. dancing together x1000.

Nammin: the angelic sinners duo. simultaneously the most innocent and pure, as well as being the kinkiest horny dudes in their squad at all times. using lots of excuses to touch each other. getting each other gifts. size different kings. affectionate smiles @ each other like constantly. very comfortable with one another. can’t help but laugh when they see the other one laugh.

Vhope: the accidentally went overboard duo.
the extra wild™ duo. fake almost kisses and pretend make-out session that get a little too real for anyone watching. saying really gay things to each other. finds each other ridiculously attractive. cuddling together when it’s cold. stare at each other to get the others attention. accidentally sleeping in each other beds.

Taejin: the fool4u duo. idiots/nerds/goofballs x2. get each others jokes. encouraging each other even when no one else does. probably have a lot of inside jokes. dancing to cheesy/aegyo songs together. very soft and cute. giggling and smiling @ each other a lot. surprisingly comfortable/natural with skinship. acting bros duo.

Junghope: the golden duo. the meme bros. genuinely close. care about each other 10000%. trusts each other endlessly. embolden each other. skinship everywhere. making each other laugh. sharing inside jokes. staying up late at night together. the comfort zone ship (aka they make each other feel safe and comfortable.) soft yet stable relationship.

Sugamon: the collective mind duo. the easy company duo. chill af ultra bros. bouncing ideas off of one another. holds each other in high esteem. remembers each others order preference. late nights in the office mixing music together. telepathic #samebro, through eye contact. the uncles/dads of the squad. quiet but comfortable

i’ve avoided talking about it because it’s a little too close to home right now, but my heart hurts for oakland and all my friends who lost loved ones. send me any posts that need boosting about individual funeral/family funds or about any other DIY spaces that need funds to get up to code/emergency funds for people who have been evicted from their spaces.

there’s talk in the seattle diy community about having some benefit shows to raise money to buy exit signs, smoke detectors, fire extinguishers etc for diy spaces, and i highly encourage everyone involved in spaces like this to find out what you need to do to bring your spaces up to code. it’s so hard to do this in already marginalized, usually not super wealthy communities. keep each other safe <3