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So last time I wrote about how nothing was motivating me to lose weight. Well, that changed! For maybe a few months… I joined the Dietbet.com craze and ya know what? It effin’ worked! There’s nothing I love more than food besides MONEY! If you haven’t heard of this site it’s where you can join a bet with other dieters online for a set wage. You have one month (in this dietbet’s case) to lose 4% of your body weight. Any person who reaches that goal wins money from the pot! It sounds a bit sketchy, I get it, but there are many rules and ways to prevent cheating.

So I tried that for a couple months and lost 17lbs! In the morning I would do Jillian Micheal’s 30 Day Shred, which helped build muscle, and then after work I would run. My ultimate goal is to run a half marathon; I got up to 4 and some change miles. I did really well for a while – and then I went on vacation… Unfortunately I have gained about 8lbs of those back, and continue to shove pringles into my face. I must admit I feel so much better keeping off about 10lbs from March. My clothes are fitting better and my overall attitude is a bit better. I need to keep it up thought – I haven’t really exercised since May when I went on vacation and seeing pictures of myself makes me feel like I haven’t accomplished much.This hot weather is making me want to go running less and do less because I hate over-heating. (oh, I am full of excuses)

I’m considering doing another dietbet, which will put me back under 200lbs and help me get rid of this extra blahness that I feel. I’m just nervous that I won’t find the motivation this time like I did before. An ex-boyfriend of mine is currently in prison (shocking by my previous posts, right?!) and we’re talking a lot about getting back together – I’m trying to use that as some motivation so when he comes out I am not some slob; especially because he works out twice a day (since he has nothing else to do). I’m starting to look at these thinner girls and just think how much I’d be okay with looking like that. HAHA. You know what I mean – I feel like I would be so much more comfortable with myself.

Ugh, one day I will get motivated again and this blog will be bursting with joy and happiness! Until then.. wish me luck!

Seriously – why is finding motivation to exercise and lose weight and become a more healthier citizen in this healthy-crazed society so difficult!? It’s almost like my body is revolting, or my mind, against the man.

Nothing has been really motivating me much lately to drop the necessary weight – and I know what everyone is thinking, “Nicole, you’re already smoking hot!” – true! But hey, we can all drop a few 50lbs here and there right? I’m going to be honest with everyone. I am 5’4″ (adorable) and I haven’t been under 210lbs in over a year, before that never not under 200lbs since like 2012. My heaviest was 225lbs and I never want to see that number again – or get close. Maybe one day I will get the balls to post some pictures. Today just isn’t that day!

I read blogs almost on a daily basis about others’ weight loss and success stories so maybe that’s what I need to do. Blog the shit out of it. It gets pretty tiring trying over and over or thinking about what COULD happen if I fit into regular clothing. Hell maybe I’d get laid more. Or consistently laid. I don’t any more reasons to hold myself back from opportunities. So let’s try this route and if I stop blogging about this shit then you know I fell off the wagon – or forgot to blog – and I am quitter. Maybe I’ll go back to blogging about something else. Who knows. I guess we will see. However, I am going to the Bahamas in May – it would be nice to enjoy it in my own skin; unlike any vacation I’ve been on where I hated life because I felt everyone was judging me.

I am currently “training” for a 10K. I use the quotations because I am not signed up for one at the moment but I am working on C210K. Tomorrow is my next run and it will end Week 4. I also bought Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred through groupon – once that comes in I will begin that as well. I also do Weight Watchers 5 days a week (I fall off on weekends – gotta change that) and I own a fitbit. I have all the markings of motivated person – without the motivations.

Are there rules for dating? Who wrote them! I need some insight with this whole dating game. Because – it is a game. I hate that it’s a game! Why can’t we just date, be who we are, say what we want! Nooooo, there has to be rules! And protocols! GAH!

So last week I tried OkCupid! for my online dating adventure for the month. (Judge me, IDC). This one guy messaged me and we had a good banter back and forth – I got a bit interested. He then asked “Are you ideally looking for something real?” to which I respond, “Ideally. Yes” Because nothing is ever IDEALLY. It’s always a HASSLE. Anyways – we exchange phone numbers and start to text. Which then turns into a phone call. Which then turns into “I like him!”. So far so good! He’s complimenting me. Saying how “beautiful” I am – yada yada. All I am thinking is “Meet me first then decide.”

Blah blah blah he asks me out for Sunday night. Which is fine since he’s busy with work all weekend. Sunday comes around and it’s so hard to get plans out of this guy! We meet up around 7PM and have, what I think, is a GREAT NIGHT! We talked and walked for hours, we laughed and goofed around. It was fun! He asked me what I was doing Friday night and how he wanted to see me again – so we made brief plans for Friday.

I really enjoyed this! Date ends, we go our separate ways. We text a bit until I get home (scared to walk home in the dark alone) and he’s saying how much fun he had and how beautiful I am and how much he likes me, yada yada, looking forward to Friday. SWOON! Then we text goodnight.

Holy am I smitten! Monday strolls along and I am cloud 9! He texts me in the morning a little then goes to work. I text him here and there.. nothing. I wait until nighttime and text again. Nothing. 9:40ish strolls around and I get a little conversation then.. nothing.

Tuesday comes – nothing in the morning. Usually I would get a “Hey Beautiful”. Nope! I text him around 10AM to say Hi with funny comment – nothing. 6PM comes around and “Hey Beautiful”. I wait a bit – make him sweat then 6:30PM “Hey you”.. nothing. I text again around 9 to say goodnight.. nothing.

It’s today… nothing so far.

Okay! So I know I sound like a crazy girl! WHAT DO MY TEXTS MEAN! DOES HE LIKE ME! I didn’t think this was normal? Not texting after a date but popping in to say Hi. I don’t even know what to make of this. I read blog after blog after blog and I guess it’s normal.. Is it? Normally I am almost rapid fire texting. I don’t mind him NOT talking to me – but I want to know he’s interested. Do I text him tonight if he doesn’t? How do I find out he still wants to hang out on Friday?

I am basically not texting him at all unless he texts me and then acting nonchalantly.

I am so PARANOID! I can’t date. I’m going to have a heart-attack over this. Someone make me a male-manual.

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and whatever else is out there all seem to be the main cause in some form of relationship destruction. I for one am so tired of listening to people complain about how their significant other “liked” another person’s pictures, or favorited their tweet, or added someone on Facebook. Or, “why haven’t they responded to my text when I just saw them update their status!”. It’s driving me insane, to the point where I could just delete everything I own and forget it ever existed!…Well, that’s a huge, fat lie. I’d never do that. I’m too HIP to do that 🙂

How Social Media Destroys Relationships:

Well, as stated above. One significant other will dig so deep into the other’s accounts to find up some form of dirt on them. Or make up from crazy scenerio in their head that so-and-so is cheating because they liked someone’s instagram photo. I think there should be a new dating rule: Don’t add someone on social media until you’re about three months in to a steady relationship. Develop and maintain trust with them. Get to know them. Then stalk.

Also, don’t have all your friends go and add them too. And don’t let him/her add your friends. Sure you want them to get to know one another and be friends and have a great time together, la de da. Bad idea. Stay away from all forms of stalkery until you have secured a steady relationship. If you feel like there’s reasons you’re stalking their accounts or want your friends to – then why are you with someone who you don’t trust?! My favorite is when they break-up but then keep tabs on them through their friend’s accounts. GET A GRIP!

Another favorite is the “You can update your status but you can’t text me back?” bomb. Maybe your text wasn’t worthy of a response. Maybe I don’t HAVE to answer your text but my status update on how my commute to work is so shitty is much more important so let me get that out of my way first! Then… when I am bored.. I will text you back and we can discuss whatever selfish issue you’re having. Deal?

I also really like when people use social media to get attention or affirmation about something. Someone who posts back to back “selfies”, quotes themselves, creates ridiculous statuses for people to like… Really? What are you missing in your real life that you need someone in webworld to comfort you with? We know the answer before you even say it – so keep it to yourself.

Last but not least, my biggest pet peeve: When a friend posts a status on how lousy their feeling or something somewhat sad.. before they reach out to you for comfort. Mostly something about their relationship.. Hi – I’m your friend – feel free to reach directly out to me. I know you wouldn’t ever really ask how I am or what’s going on with me, or really care about how I’ve been feeling.. But I care about you. Friends do that stuff. You know.. well – maybe not.

I started hanging out with this guy about a year ago and he seemed mostly concerned with just getting into my pants, which is fine! I am into dudes in my pants, but it was right off the bat and I just wanted to get to know him more. So we did that on and off – just talking to each other, long phone calls, texts all day… it was every girls dream! He was trying to be patient with me, and almost thinking that I was a true nun.

Finally I said fuck it, and literally. He came over a couple times a week bringing me things and making me dinner and yeah, we did it too. I can’t say that I am the most experience sexer in the world, or even close. My track record is low. But this was the best D that I have ever had. Then out of nowhere he disappeared off of the planet. Wouldn’t answer calls or texts.

Every couple months he would text me saying he was sorry and we would hangout for a couple weeks and the same thing happened.

It’s been a year and we are still doing this. Now it’s more he comes over once every couple weeks and stays about an hour and leaves. Which is fine because now I understand what his real intentions are whether or not he comes out and tells me.

The issue is: I love his D so much I want it every day if possible. Though I know that’s not how “Booty Calls” should work. Right?

I’ve never been involved in something like this – I just want sex with someone who cares about me and I care about them and we have this connections and blah blah yawn yawn. Yeah, eventually – but right now I want to try something different – be someone I never had the guts to be (a bit slutty, yes indeed!). But now I have no real protocall on this situation.

How long to wait inbetween each call? If it were up to me – two days max. If he ignores my calls and expects me to answer his – should I stop bothering with it? Should it be a two way street? The chances of him getting bored with me? I fear that – unfortunately I want something good to come out of all this fucking. Possible? How far in advanced can you make one? What if I know I have the apartment to myself this weekend – can I ask now?!

I read about this stuff on a constant basis because I am a horrible, insecure human being that gets self help from articles online. I tend to read into the things he does more than I should. I’ll read articles on how there should be no kissing – but all we do is kiss – 75% of the time. We look at each other. We have conversations with each other. We text each other occasionally about things other than sex… I am so over-thinking this aren’t I?

Basically I just want to get into the male mind. I want to know secrets. Tell me secrets and I will tell you secrets about the female mind. Give me advice. Give me your input. Tell me how lame I am. Anything.

Holiday traveling is probably the best part of the season – Wouldn’t you agree? Yeah, I don’t agree either.

This whole not having a car thing can be pretty shitty during the holidays and taking a bus back to New York is even shittier. Although, in my opinion, Greyhound bus lines do a great job here in Boston getting their passengers on express buses and on time! I never panic when I am the 100th person in line because I know there will be another bus following the one at the dock. DON’T PANIC PEOPLE! But all this traveling has made me come up with my favorite types of travelers! Yay!

Here is what I came up with: The Sick, The Phoner, The Socialite, The Quiet One, The Lean Backer, The Two-Seater, The Snorer.

The Sick: Ugh. I hate this one. The people who are coughing, and sneezing and sniffling… You are grossing me out and I just cannot sit next to you, near you, or in ear shot of you. Don’t travel. Just..don’t!

The Phoner: Quite possibly one of the most obnoxious travelers on board. Usually these people are so crazy loud on their phone so the whole bus has to hear their boring, pointless conversation. I also think it’s pretty interesting that these people tend to be older males. When I get a phone call – I ignore it then text the person back saying HEY I’M ON A BUS, DON’T CALL ME! It’s the polite thing to do…

The Socialite: Not to be confused with The Phoner – this person will chat it up with ANYONE on the bus. These are people I avoid – I’ll judge people in the line while we wait and then avoid them at all costs. Headphones do the trick or maybe a Netflix documentary on the deadliest gang in America (MS13, btw)… I don’t want to have 3 hours of small talk with anyone. The fact that small talk exists is bad enough. I also cannot stand listening to people talk; this should be a quiet, relaxing ride… Keep to yourself and everyone will be happy.

The Quiet One: MY FAVORITE! If you couldn’t guess. This is me. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone. Just keep to yourself. Listen to your music and enjoy the ride.. Everyone should be this one! PLEASE BE THIS ONE?!?!

The Lean Backer: I hate you. Don’t lean back and take up my leg room… Ever. Just don’t. You don’t need to. And if you do, at least give a warning first so I can move my knees so you won’t crush them. Also, I am 5’4 and you are crushing my life here… How would you feel if someone leaned back on you? Think of others!

The Two-Seater: This is such my luck. You don’t even have to be that big and you still find a way to have your body pour into my area. And yes – POUR. How about this.. Keep your legs clenched together like I do and no one uses the middle arm rest. Don’t put your feet near mine, or lean your head near mine. I paid for this seat and no you may not take it over.. I lean opposite of where you are sitting – please do the same. Next time I will bite you. SUE ME.

The Snorer: Last but not least – I should be annoyed mostly by you -but I am not. Don’t get me wrong I still hate your guts but at least you were quiet enough to fall asleep and you just happen to snore. You are still loud and still interfere with my quiet time so I dislike you, but I respect you. Wake up once in a while and you and me will be best friends 🙂

There you have it. My list of typical holiday travelers (in no particular order). These can vary – but overall they’re just branches of the ones above. Sometimes I feel if I take a train my life will be a lot happier – but do I want to take over 5 hours to get to some place that will only take me 3? Is it worth it? Three years in and I still haven’t figured it out… Safe travels, blogmites.

First off – What is with guys these days? I was at my Esthetician last night getting waxed (I have no shame) and she shared with me a story about how this guy was at the shop for over 3 hours getting his whole body waxed. THREE HOURS! WAXED!

Wait… What?!

This is what I have to work with? Men who get their whole body waxed? I once saw (and by saw I mean we had sex from time to time) this guy who would shave his chest regularly and tan regularly. At the time I didn’t think anything about it – he looked really hot. But thinking back on it I wonder why guys find it necessary to emasculate themselves. Going tanning, shaving/waxing off their body hair, making sure their eyebrows are nicer than mine… Are these real men who are supposed to protect us women and have the same beauty rituals? I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel safe anymore.

This leads me to my point. Dan Conner.

Listal.com

If you don’t know who this man is then you don’t know what it is to be a true, blue collar man. One who would never get his eyebrows waxed, or go tanning, or complain about his weight. One who protects, supports and admits he’s wrong when he is right. One who isn’t afraid to get dirty, work hard, admit his loses without deflating his ego (too much).

I know! This character is fictitious. I get it… But someone was on to something when creating this character and I really think men lost the message here. I know what you may be saying to yourself, “…the times are different now than they were before”, okay so maybe that’s true. But honestly, you’re wrong. People these days take pride in the way they look, definitely so, I can appreciate that. I attempt that once in a great while myself. You don’t think Dan slapped on a tie once in a while? Brushed his hair back? Made sure his socks matched that day? He cared! Never once did he complain to Roseanne about his weight or how fat he feels or how he’s trying to workout more to be a “sexy beast”, etc.

Now I am not saying that I want to go out with a complete slob or a person who doesn’t take pride in their appearance, I definitely do. But I don’t want that to be the basic foundation of this person.

Not only is appearance an issue for these new-aged men but so is their whole attitude. You know the saying “Nice guys finish last”? Yeah, that’s true. Because nice guys complain about being nice guys and how girls don’t want nice guys and whine whine whine. YOU’RE WHINING. Nice guys WHINE! Stop whining! I can’t take it anymore. I can’t sit here and listen to a guy talk about how he can’t get a girl to like him for who he is and how he’s such a great guy and blah blah blah. I think it’s great that you’re such a wonderful guy but please just stop whining about it. You look like a baby! Women want men that are TOUGH! Not in the sense that they go out and get into fights every other day; although we secretly find that sexy. I mean we want to be with a guy that doesn’t take our shit, that won’t back down when they feel strongly about something and that will put us in our place when we need it. Take charge! You want my advice? Act like you don’t give a shit.