One day, four years past my 18th birthday, I was in the Bluegrass
region of Kentucky. A few years earlier, I had rejected a life as a civilized man and
instead chose to search for the right way to live. I had dropped out of college. Hopefully
for the last time, though I would probably go back the next semester. Civilization still
controlled me, because I still occasionally went back to live by its rules. I still
depended on civilization and still used money, even though I intended to stop using it.

Under me were the lungs of the continent of North America. As the continent
breathes and waters flow through the Earth, calves are formed, and there were calves all
around me. In one cave I saw fossils of creatures that were born on the Earth, lived, and
returned to the Earth when they died. You might ask, why be born if youre just going
to die? I guess because life is rare. Almost everything is dead. The fossil rocks are
dead, but they were once alive and they had a chance to experience life, which is what
Im experiencing now. I am just matter and that is all I am, but I am also a rare
kind of matter, which has the privilege to be alive. Ill try to enjoy this
experience.

I began to drive my car towards the Ohio River. I Passed through many small towns,
and was amazed at how friendly the people were. Perhaps they are naive and do not realize
what horror is. Horror is a lonely cold feeling. I met horror while growing up in South
America in a big city, where walls separated people. The city officials said that there
were nine million people in the city, but I knew there were many more people the
government did not count. These people did not have walls of their own. They lived in
slums between the walls. The only time I met them was when one of them would work for me
as a servant. Many would be lying behind my wall but most of my friends ignored them
because civilization taught them to do so. The government did not count them and neither
did any of the other civilized people. I wouldnt be surprised if there were 30
million of them in the city all crowded into small areas. I was not crowded. My cubical
space was big and I was all alone in it. Not everyone in the city alone but I was, and
there were many other lonely people in the city. I hear there are even bigger cities. You
could ask why anyone let a city get so big? The city officials might give you many
reasons, but I know all they had to do to stop was stop and just not build the cities so
big. Most of the officials do not realize what they are doing; the machine controls them.
They do not control the machine.

I have escaped from the big city and now I am in a place where towns are small and
the people are warm and friendly. Near these towns, the people raise cattle on large open
fields, and there are very few walls. I came to an area full of cone shaped hills called
knobs, which surround the bluegrass. I knew the Ohio River was not far away.

I found a dead bull. There were many crows eating it, and a few vultures were
resting in a tree nearby. I began to wonder what I could learn from this sight. Then I saw
a cone shaped hill rising out of a flat plain, with the setting Sun shining behind the
peak. I felt a desire to climb it, a desire stronger than the desire for sex. It was
winter and all the leaves had fallen off the trees. The temperature was well below
freezing and had been that way for many days, so all the snow was crisp. My climb should
be easy and I should be back before dark. I noticed Venus was visible as an evening star.
Jupiter was also visible and very near Venus. Perhaps the first unusual thing I saw was a
white vulture that passed overhead and flew behind the peak. Normally, there are no white
vultures in the Ohio Valley and albinos are rare and do not survive long. This one was
mature, so it obviously had been surviving for some time. As I watched, I realized it was
not a true albino. Its head and feet were a normal color, only the feathers were white.

I sat on top of the hill and waited. I saw no visions that day, but I did remember
an old vision I had when I was 17. This vision happened while I was at school, during a
study hall class. In that vision, I saw a giant woolly bull. I thought it might be my
guardian angel because it often appears as animals, such as jaguars or wolves, but this
time my angel appeared in a sort of human form and said, "Life is meant to have fun.
Some people cant understand that."

My muse appeared. She usually appears as a beautiful tall, blond-haired girl with
light gray eyes. She asked me if I believed what the angel said. I said, "Yes."
In this case "Yes" was like a magical word, which unlocked many mysteries. I
found myself in a black room. Nothing happened for a long time so l decided to leave, but
I couldnt. Usually I can end the vision at will, but this time I was stuck. I always
felt as if my muse was the cause of my loneliness, and I thought that this time she had
locked me up for good. A door that wasnt there before opened. I could see that
outside was the real world. A woman dressed in a black robe walked in. She looked like my
muse, except that her eyes were silver. She held a bundle wrapped in black cloth. She
said, "I come from the father, because he has chosen it to be so. I am the daughter
of the son, when he is a destroyer. I am part of the Holy Spirit." She placed the
bundle on the black floor. When I unwrapped it several butterflies flew away. My guardian
said that they were false ideas and that I should not chase them. The silver-eyed woman
was now three young girls. One with red hair, one with black hair, and one with blond. The
red-haired girl sank into the floor and became the Earth. The dark-haired girl became a
darkened forest, which was dark because it was full of life. The blond-haired girl became
a bright light, and said, "I have guided many before you and I will guide many after
you." She disappeared, but I could still feel the light inside everything, as I sat
alone inside the darkened forest. I noticed that now, I was wearing the black robe. I saw
the door again and walked out. Outside was a quiet street in a busy town. I saw my muse
and walked along with her for a while, She is usually very aloof and untouchable. I still
could not touch her, but this time she was actually talking to me, rather than just making
statements and then disappearing like she usually does. She said that I was going to get
the great vision that I was nagging for all the time. I saw a horse that I would be riding
into the vision. Suddenly I snapped out of the vision and I was back in school. The people
around me did not seem to notice anything.

The great vision that the muse mentioned did eventually happen. It happened each
day, over several weeks, in the same study hall at the school. In this vision, I saw a
world after the fall of civilization. It was a good world. I have tried to record what I
saw in that world in a book called, "Human." I recommend you read this book if
you want to understand my point-of-view a little better. Almost five years had gone by
since I first saw that world. During those years, I had assembled together a lot of ideas
and knew that it was time to spread the word of the Sacred Grove. Time to write this book.

When I was nine years old I noticed how everyone was involved with each other. I
did not fit in. I tried, but it did not work. There was this field where farmers would
leave the heads of cows. There were cow parts all over the hillside. Some parts were left
in burning piles, and there were always many vultures there. New skulls were full of
beetles. I would hang around there. The nuns told me that I did not belong there. They
wanted me with the other kids, but I did not belong there, either. The fact, that flesh is
eaten quickly in the tropics, seemed more important to me than anything that the nuns were
saying.

Later that day, I saw two pyramids. They turned over on their sides, then moved
together till their points touched. Then, they inserted these points into each other. At
the place where they merged a space was formed. They moved into each other till all that
was left was a Flat plain, with the space inside. I had seen this vision before, but I
could not get close enough to look into the space. Now, I could. I saw a horrible thing. I
also knew that what I saw was just the tip of the iceberg, bobbing above the surface of a
sea that I was going to sink into, deeper and deeper as I got older. The iceberg had just
hit me. It opened a hole in my world. The water started rushing in. If I had known it was
coming, I might have avoided it, but too late now. My course was set a long time ago. From
the very beginning I had been going in this particular direction.

As I got older, I began to realize that reality for me is twisted. Youre out
there. Im in here. The door between is the twist in reality between the two sides. I
dont recommend this for anyone. In time I noticed this twist gives me a perspective
that most people dont have. It also makes me say things that most people dont
say. I also do things most people dont do.

The image I saw inside the area where the two pyramids merged was a bitter, angry,
lonely man who would be me. I was nine years old at the time. By the time I was a
teenager, the prophecy came true. When I was seventeen, I saw the pyramids come together
again. This time I looked inside and saw myself as a nine-year-old boy who had wandered
off into the forest. A poisonous snake bit him. He refused to go back to civilization for
help because he did not want to go back. He wanted to be sure that he could survive on his
own. Eventually he fell unconscious, but his natural immunity kept him alive. He took a
lot of pride in being able to survive without medical technology. A black jaguar walked
near him and he sensed it. In time he woke up and he was free. This snakebite never really
happened. I just saw a vision when I was seventeen that pretended as if it really
happened. What I was looking at, was what my mind did. Some people would say that I failed
at civilization, and thats why I turned against it. Thats probably right.

One night when my life seemed pointless, I asked m muse why I was born in this
century, when shamans are rejected, rather than a age when they were accepted? She asked,
"How was the evil empire Acheron destroyed?"

I knew that myth, so I said, "By the magic of a feathered shaman, who had
discovered the secret that held civilization together."

She said, "This is the time that needs you."

Suddenly, I found myself in a room full of old men. The oldest-looking one said,
"You volunteered for this job. Those people are about to destroy themselves, so you
sent yourself to save them." I told him that I was not accomplishing much, so he
said, "I did it so can you".

I asked him who he is.

He said, "Im you in the future. We will be known as the greatest profit
to ever live. There are people in the year 3027 who are actually afraid to even speak our
name. Virgins actually sacrifice themselves on altars with animated images of us. A page
of our original sloppy handwriting will become a holy relic, hidden on top of a mountain.
Christianity will be dead, but the Vatican will still have a Pope, who will spend his
whole day praising our name. The guardians of the Sacred Grove, who spend most of their
time fighting gladiator-style, will consider us the greatest warrior who ever lived.
Mystics will search their whole lives just to have a vision of us."

Wow, what delusions of grandeur I invent to cheer myself up. If this guy is me,
then I know how full shit he can be. Many people say that I am going to burn in Hell for
what I believe. I dont care. I would rather do what I think is good than fallow some
evil God. If he sends people to Hell for that, then those who follow him and go to Heaven
are evil just like him.

The Solar elements of the Zodiac

The traditional guardians of god are four complex symbols, called YAHU, written
YEOU. Yahu-Die-Adonai means Guardian-God-Lord. These names come from the Middle East near
Israel. They are common in my visions. The letters in YEOU are four Angels. The
"Y" is a man, whose sign is Aquarius; his planet is Venus; his element, air, and
his direction, the west. This man can be the Solar Being, called Samas. He is the inner
reality of the future self, or a picture of destiny. For me, the man can be any man, or my
Guardian Angel, or myself. I usually dont even notice him.

The "E" is a. Bull, whose sign is Taurus; his element is Earth, and his
direction, North. He is a Solar Zeus-Dionysus called Baal He is the life giving fertile
force in the Earth that can bring back life each year. A Scarab can represent him, because
the Scarab is a bug who plays with manure, and manure is fertilizer. Dead things fertilize
the Earth and feed new life.

The "O" is a lion; his sign is Leo; his element, fire; his planet, the
Morning Star, and his direction, East. He is a solar Lucifer, who can take life. His name
is OL. He is a sort of murdering purifier, a sort of deadly force in nature. I usually see
him as a jaguar.

The "U" is a Vulture. His sign is Scorpio; his element, is water; his
planet, Earth, and his direction, South. He is a solar Mercury, called Nebo. He is a wise
old man. Many people today picture this symbol as an eagle, but the vulture is the
original form. He tends to stay near a high peak, which I have to climb to find what I am
looking for.

Supposedly, these four symbols once represented the four winds as used by the
ancient Jews. They were part of the vision of the prophet Ezekiel. Today they can
represent anything you want. The Catholic Church uses these symbols to represent the four
Apostles who wrote the four Gospels. They often picture Christ with these symbols around
him. I identify them with the Sun because they are powers. A lot of things can be
identified with the Sun. A man, a bull a Jaguar and a vulture, are some of the most common
symbols in my visions. My muse uses these symbols to teach me things.

Hands

There are five vowels, A, E, I. O. U. J, Y, and I are all the same vowel, and are
interchangeable in sacred names. U, V, and W are the same vowel and are interchangeable in
sacred names. We get these different letters for the same vowel because the English
alphabet is made of letters from the alphabets of many different cultures. These five
vowels can be used to represent points on the five-pointed star.

The Morning Star and the star of Man are both five-pointed stars, but they are
opposite images of each other. In most rituals where the star of Man is hung in the
temple, it is hung on a wall where the "I" point would be hanging down, such as
the north wall or the west wall. The Morning Star is usually drawn and hung on a wall
where the "I" point would point up, such as the east or the south wall. This
makes it easy to tell them apart. The points of the star of Man are I, E, A, V, O, if you
make the "S" of Mercury an "A.." "A" means point, and
Mercury is your point-of-view. The Morning Star is the mirror image of the star of Man.
The Morning Stars points are the points of destruction that represent the five times
every eight years when the Morning Star is farthest from the Sun. The Morning stars
points are in a clockwise order of A, E I, O, U, but actually the points of the Morning
Star are read counterclockwise. When you observe the Zodiac using an Earth-based reference
point such as your hand, the constellations of the Zodiac appear to be ordered
counterclockwise. This may be seen in the image of the Zodiac many astrologers use. It is
the mirror image of the image on the temple. The lines that connect the points represent
the path of the Morning Star on its eight-year cycle, which is AIUEO. The point
"A" which meet at angle IAO, is the point when the cycle changes and happens
when a point of destruction happens near May Day. Most astrological cycles begin after the
spring equinox.

The hand is often used to represent various things in a ritual. Traditionally, the
thumb represents Venus. The index finger is the finger of Jupiter. The middle finger is
the finger of Saturn, the father God. The ring finger is the finger of the Sun. The small
finger is the finger of Mercury. If you draw the letters of each planet on the finger,
with the "U" For Mercury and "A" for Venus, you get the order A E I 0
U. In the temple "U" is the letter For Venus but on the hand, Venus is given an
"A" because the thumb is used as a pointer. Mercury is given a "U"
because point-of-view is the product of the material world. The hand is used as a guide as
you view the material world, so the symbolism on the fingers of Mercury and Venus can be
switched in order to represent the problem of distinguishing reality from idea.
"U" is also the letter of Nebo, the solar Mercury. Your two hands are mirror
images of each other. Your left wrist represents the Moon. The Moon should point towards
your body to represent our being held by your life cycles limitations. The palm of your
hand represents Mars. A symbol that is drawn on the palm should be drawn as an impression
of the symbol. It would appear as a mirror image of the symbol.

If you draw the five-pointed stars on your palms, the left hand would have an
impressed image of the star of Man, and the right hand would have an impressed image of
the Morning Star. You can place your left palm on the center of the temple and all the
points should point in their right direction, if you point your "I" finger
south. You can hold your right palm up so that your fingers represent the points of
destruction.