In an open relationship like ours, I freely discuss my other sex escapades with my boyfriend

In this story Alice, a 23-year-old flight attendant, expounds on the experiences she’s had in a long-distance, open relationship.

When did you start experimenting with sex?

I was curious about sex from a really early age. I had older sisters who would buy Cosmo magazines and I remember stealing into their rooms to find a copy so I could read about sex. At one point I got this small television in my room and realized that I could watch softcore porn late at night. So it went from there, just masturbating and learning how to make myself come. I remember thinking, ‘Am I even having an orgasm?’ because the women in porn always seemed to have such crazy obnoxious ones. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 14, and I lost my virginity to my boyfriend on the night I met him four years later (we’ve been happily dating for almost six years now). I had always wanted to have sex before that but it just never happened for some reason.

How did your relationship develop from there, and what is sex like between you and your boyfriend?

We met up over that summer a couple times a week, to hang out and have sex. Eventually he met my parents and I met his and he’s been this wonderful, wonderful person in my life ever since. I think our sex life has been defined a lot by absence. We went to different universities, we come from different cities and I’ve done semesters abroad, so we’ve been apart a lot. Sex whenever we see each other after a long period away is always just tearing off clothes or me giving him road head in the car driving home from the airport. We have also spent long periods of time living together, and sex can be a little routine, but he’s the only person who can really make me come hard. I think we’re like your average long-term couple: we have a lot of hot sex, and occasionally we experiment (watching porn together, tying each other up, etc).

When did you decide to become a flight attendant?

I actually never thought I’d be a flight attendant. After I graduated my boyfriend and I were unemployed and I couldn’t get excited about any of the jobs I was applying to, so I found out that my airline was hiring and sent in a resume on a whim. I went though the interview process, mostly to humor myself, and was a little shocked when I was hired. But once I started working I completely fell in love with the job — it definitely has its perks!

Speaking of perks, how did you and your boyfriend decide to be open, and what was your first experience with that?

After I started flying my boyfriend got a great job offer halfway across the continent, and we had a tough conversation over the phone where he said it might be easier if we were open. If he’d said this a year prior I would have lost it, but I found myself agreeing with him. It made sense to have sex with other people as long as we could stay loyal to each other. So the next time I visited him, we hammered out some details – so there’s an agreement. Other than making out with a sexy comedian in a bathroom at a bar, the first person I had sex with outside my relationship was a fellow flight attendant. We trained together and hung out in the same social circle at work, and although we didn’t operate the same flight, we ended up in the same city for a layover. We met up and decided to get a bottle of vodka and share it in a hotel room over some work gossip. He knew I had a boyfriend, but didn’t know we were open. I swear I had no notion of sleeping with him. Sure he was hot, but I was shocked when he put down my drink and kissed me. I spent the night trying to say no even though I badly wanted to. Even as my clothes started coming off I was trying to talk myself out of it. I was kind of nervous after having only slept with one guy for so many years. But that naked new skin rush is very thrilling. We actually fell asleep without having sex, but when we woke up the next morning, he wordlessly flipped me over and we fucked.

Once the idea of being open became real, what happened next for you?

After I got my travel privileges this summer, I went to Vegas with a couple of flight attendants. My first night there, at a club, I met this guy from England. He was so sexy, and it was one of those moments where you sort of see someone and you know you’re going to spend the night with him. After drinking and making out on the dance floor all night, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said yes, to which he replied, “That’s okay with me.” To this day this guy doesn’t know I’m in an open relationship (I can’t imagine what he must think). At one point I bought a round of drinks, and for some reason this was shocking enough for him to promise me the best sex of my life. We spent the night walking the strip, and would steal into a corner to make out and fumble at each other’s clothes before we would have to stop. We made it to his hotel room, where he put on some music (Morrissey and The Clash, so English) and we fucked as the sun rose. He was really good with his hands, and making this guy come was such a pleasure. It was insanely hot.

It definitely sounds like it! What other experiences have you had?

One experience that stands out is my first (and only) threesome. I went to a bar with a large group of friends from home and I was staying over at this girl’s house, so she invited one of her guy friends back with her. We went in the hot tub naked since we didn’t have bathing suits, and she really wanted to play with another girl. One thing led to another, and soon all three of us were touching and having sex. It was really hot to watch two people fuck in front of you. At one point she was going down on me while he was fucking her from behind, and hearing her moan while her head was in between my legs was sweet music. It was a real turn on to know I was playing into such a fantasy for the guy (and for me too), but it was also her enthusiasm that did it for me. She would be fingering me, whispering things like, “I want to see you come so bad” in my ear. It was also nice to play with boobs (other than my own)!

Have any of your experiences caused your feelings for your boyfriend to change?

The only person who I may feel something for on occasion is the English guy from Vegas. I nip it in the bud though whenever that happens, because I remind myself that I’m not looking for that. The airline industry is notorious for its indiscretions, and while I’m not saying everyone is a philandering asshole, people do stray while on the road. With that being said, it may sound cheesy, but my boyfriend is ‘the one’. We’re both pragmatic and he’s very much a realist, but really the bottom line is that we still love each other. Maybe one day it won’t seem like enough to want to fight for it anymore, but right now we still very much do. We’re just taking it a day at a time and do things that feel right and don’t do things that feel wrong. It’s sort of a gamble, but it’s worked so far.

Many of our readers are avid travelers, so tell us what cities/countries in the world you’ve visited (whether through being a flight attendant or just personally)?

I’ve been to probably every major city in Canada and the United States. London, Paris, and Tokyo. I’ve also been all over China (Shanghai, Beijing, Hong Kong). I’ve lived in South America and Spain, Cuba, the Bahamas, and all over the Caribbean.

Where do you see life taking you in the next few years, and would you recommend working in the airline industry for women your age?

I love flying, so I want to keep doing that, but I’m flirting with the idea of grad school. I don’t feel like flying will always be so fulfilling. With my boyfriend and me, I’d like to settle down in the next few years. This open stuff only works because we’re long distance, but one day I don’t want this to be the pattern of our relationship anymore – it won’t work for me once we’re together physically. As far as career advice goes, don’t fly if you don’t love it: it’s not for everyone, and the money is shit. The industry is capricious and you never know what may happen to your airline. Otherwise, take pride in your work! It’s not the most intellectually stimulating, but if wanderlust and travel are in your blood, who cares? You help get people safely to where they need to be, and you do it with class and exceptional service. Plus, you can bet that telling people you’re a flight attendant makes you pretty much 110% more interesting on the spot.

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