RELATED: Chirlane McCray Controversy Proves Its Time To Get Out Of Peoples Bedrooms

Today, McCray is married to N.Y.C. Public Advocate and Mayoral Candidate Bill de Blasio (pictured right), sharing with Essence how she transitioned into a traditional marriage. According to McCray, her shift to a heterosexual union was natural, happening by putting aside the assumptions I had about the form and package my love would come in. By letting myself be as free as I felt when I went natural.

Asked if it was strange dating a man suddenly, McCray said her relationship with de Blasio was simple attraction:

I came out at 17. I hadnt really dated any men. I thought, Whoa, what is this? But I also didnt think, Oh, now Im attracted to men. I was attracted to Bill. He felt like the perfect person for me. For two people who look so different, we have a lot in common. We are a very conventional, unconventional couple.

On the topic of if shes still attracted to women, McCray said,Im married, Im monogamous, but Im not dead. However, dont call her bisexual:

I am more than just a label. Why are people so driven to labeling where we fall on the sexual spectrum? Labels put people in boxes, and those boxes are shaped like coffins. Finding the right person can be so hard, that often, when a person finally finds someone she or he is comfortable with, she or he just makes it work. As my friend Vanessa says, Its not whom you love; its that you love.

McCray first met de Blasio in 1991 while working for the New York Commission On Human Rights. De Blasio was an aide to then-mayor David Dinkins.

I was wearing West African-inspired clothing and a nose ring, and Bill says he had the love-at-first-sight experience. I did note what a good-looking guy he was and that he was funny and smart and made other people laugh. And despite what others may say, McCray is confident in her marriage:

I know my husband loves me fiercely and passionately. I know he supports me and will always stand up for me.

Gay men are largely either victims of sexual abuse or porn. As a HS teacher, I see students that are convinced they are gay in 9th grade, then abandon it by graduation. On the other hand, I also see kids who are “recruited” by older men into homosexuality. Many gays are simply terrified of sex with women.

Lesbianism is very different. I’ve seen many women that have been married and have kids simply “give up” on men. There are also women that are just uncomfortable with men. Many of the lesbians I know still have desire for men but just have no desire to pursue it.

The problem with the gay community is the identification of sexuality as something you are BORN WITH. That is abject bulls***. Every time you get in bed with someone, you choose to do it. Saying that 1 or 2 year old children are gay is stupid. Children have no sexuality; it develops after the identity finding of puberty. I’m sick of all this “I’m born gay” bullcrap. No, you were born, you grew up, and you decided to be gay.

I think some woman can swing both ways...the whole LUG thing...lesbian until graduation. That said I’ve seen butch woman during pride week that really seem to be born that way. 200 pounds..big shoulders ..thick backs...they look like construction workers. Nothing feminine at all...something is off. Many are Latin or Black

Even more so with men . Didn’t we all know some kid in first grade who was just ...gay...hung around with the girls..feminine mannerisms even before we knew what sex was.

One interesting statistic almost all woman hook up with another woman in prison. With men its pretty much the same as the outside.

She “came out” without ever having dated a man? Sounds to me like she was being heavily influenced by someone.
Don’t tell me these people don’t recruit. They prey on confused young people like this who lack enough experience and understanding of their own feelings to make a truly informed decision.

17
posted on 05/11/2013 3:55:38 AM PDT
by Wiser now
(Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)

This "woman" (and I use the term loosely) is a rank opportunist. She's an exhibitionist, and will say anything to call attention to herself. As for him---he ran Hillary's 2000 Senate campaign.

Pic by Ozier Muhammad/The New York Times

The hairstyle of her son---Dante de Blasio---called a "stupendous Afro"---attracted attention when his father, Bill de Blasio announced his mayoral candidacy 1/28/13. One time lesbian,Mrs de Blasio looks on.

The DSM used to classify homosexuality as a non normal condition until changed in more recent version(s).

I'd like to find an older one to read it for myself, but I'm growing more convinced the earlier version was likely closer to the truth than where we are now.

To be honest, I don't know, but what I see looks more like adaptations to meeting mental/emotional/physical wants and needs where no acceptable/normal solutions exist, along with the rationalizations necessary to make the adaptations fit acceptably with the rest of one's metal emotional programming and the world.

Our current world seems to now aggressively push these adaptations to us and to children as being acceptably normal, yet "normal" is probably not accurate, as the earlier DSM editions likely described.

Politics aside, this woman is doing a service to the growing number of (intentionally) sexually confused young people by speaking out. She’s a walking, talking implosion of quite a few leftist stereotypes. You know she got a lot of flak for it and continues to get a lot of flak. I’d imagine she and Camille Paglia would get on rather well. I wish her every success in her marriage. She chose the right path.

Many women, who are lesbians, were sexually abused as children. It appears that sexual abuse of children plays a large part in their future sexual identity and mental health issues if they don’t get help. And we know that many children who are abused do not tell anyone until they are much older.

You’re correct and it’s odd to see so many conservatives making fun of her because she decided to change her life for the better, no matter what her politics are. We need more testimonies like this in the mainstream so that young people know that the media message isn’t always the right message.

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