Sunday, January 28, 2007

I didn't want to. It wasn't because I was being nosy. (But I did have a glass of wine at my side.) I needed to see if it had some of my tests in it. No answers there.

I didn't really learn anything new. A lot of my files were left out. I guess my doctor didn't find them important. All of my previous testing and Grumps as well were not included. I guess since we did get pregnant none of that was super important.

My pictures were there of my lovely insides. I have seen them many times. A toxic waste dump without adhesions and scar tissue. My doctor is still shocked by that.

My old charting charts were there. I will bring my recent months along.

The pathology reports and my visit notes.

The detailed report of my lap. There I found something I have always wondered but was afraid to ask.

I told the stage of my endometriosis. I always guessed what I thought it would be. I also hoped what I wanted it to be. I teared up when I saw what it really was.

Stage IV Endometriosis

I am very blessed to have gotten pregnant at all. I am also blessed that my girl parts work. But hearing stage IV makes my heart sink a little.

I filled out all the paper work the best that I could. I don't know Grumps sperm results. I don't know all the blood tests that were done. I am sure he can figure out what was done to both of us. The big thing is the endo.

Grumps favorite question to torment me with is: if you drink, how much do you consume per week/day? I said once a day. (okay it might be a little more or less depending on the day) Grumps was twice a week. He called me an alcoholic. I told him to live in my shoes for a day. He has no place to judge.

Tomorrow morning is the big moment. I am sure I know what he will say. I still need to make my little list of talking points. I am sure Grumps will be of no help. He is only going because I know that they will want to talk to him.