Wednesday, August 11, 2010

This Calls for Some Bubbly

I have decided that tomorrow shall be spent drinking Champagne. Oh, I know what you're thinking, McBoners: Champagne on a regular old, humdrum Thursday night? I know it sounds crazy, and ordinarily it would be, but when you've officially been married to the greatest woman in the world for 10 years, no other beverage will suffice.

Though her popularity with you may ebb and flow, I have yet to see a shred of evidence that on August 12th, 2000, I made a hideous mistake. That's why tomorrow will be a celebration, not just of one decade of spectacular matrimony, but of things to come, like the tiny egg that billions of my wriggling, squiggling sperm will soon be targeting.

I've selected a rosé Pol Roger for the occasion. Yes, I purchased the wine from the Village Bottle Shoppe. Yes, I was carded.

Happy anniversary, babe. Thanks for an awesome ten years. Another 50 would be tight. How about it?

McBone List of Boycotted Substances

The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.