The Real Housewives of New Jersey’s family poses for the family portrait.

If there is one thing for which the Real Housewives franchise deserves artistic recognition, it is the patient and immaculate building of a villain. When we first met Teresa two seasons ago, she was the dopey, guileless comedic relief of the show, the one whose table-flipping anger came off kind of adorably because, at the time, the behavior seemed uncharacteristic. It was like watching a chattering squirrel shaking a tree branch at a dog. And at the beginning of this third season, Teresa was not yet turned, as the infamous Christening led us to believe that the Gorgas were the petty ones, that all batty Teresa did was deliver a pleasantry to a brother who also had a thing for pounding tables. It was still possible to believe that Teresa was unaware of the slights she had made and was totally naive about any bruises that bore her prints.

My DVR cut off the recording before I could discover what Caroline’s up to, so I’m going to just pretend that she’s “not letting anyone tell her no” and “living her dream” and having gel-offs with K.D. Lang. You can let me know if it went differently in the comments.