My break-up letter to Ipods

Dear Ipods,

I now have had 6 of you stolen out of my car. And while you are “cool” and all, I’m over it. I’ve had the car window smashed, the passenger side door lock broken, beer poured on my car interior all because people like like you so much. I on on other hand, you are EH to me. I’m not stealing babies, kidnapping shopping carts, or shooting up ant hills over you. I am just going to listen to the radio from here on out. Luckily now that “you” exist, no one steals those anymore!