So I mentioned last week that I had decided to do a 2 day short course called Creative Writing Stage 1. It was kind of a 'I'm about to be unemployed and while I'm frantically looking for another job in the area I have experience in cos money, I know that I don't want to do this for the rest of my life and maybe I should give this a go?' whim. And when I say whim, I mean I absolutely agonised over it. I'm not a person that ever steps outside my comfort zone. Too scared of failure. So this was a really big deal for me. Like HUGE.

It was great. The presenter was Nicole Hayes, a Melbourne based novelist, screenwriter and teacher (I own, and really enjoyed her debut, The Whole Of My World). She was really informative and knew what she was talking about. It was a lot of information to take in over just two days tho, and it certainly made me realise just how monumental a task writing a book is.

There was a pretty big wow moment for me when she gave us a prompt and I actually wrote something from it. I was shocked. Like, completely floored. And maybe a little bit excited. I've never, ever done that before. And I've got this idea in my head now that wasn't there before and I would like to try and write a bit more to it. Even if it's not writing more but planning it out a bit, the characters and this storyline that's jumped into my head.

But ultimately, and I'm being realistic and honest when I say this: I just don't know if I could ever possibly write a book. A good one, anyway. One that a publishing company would want. Unfortunately, I just don't have a lot of belief in myself. Self-doubt is a killer and I don't know how to shake it.

So I'm putting more thought into editing courses at the mo, rather than going further with another writing course. I think it may be a better fit for me. But you never know. The main thing is, I'm feeling hopeful for the first time in a long, long time.