One of Microsoft's mall stores. Not to be confused with the Apple store.

So Microsoft hasn't been cool since Windows 95 went obsolete on December 31, 2001, right?

All the hip kids have been buying Macs and MacBooks and Mac OS and iPods and iPads for over a decade. Basically, ever since Steve Jobs (RIP) and company started building desktops that looked like gumdrops. You know, instead of rotten chunks of tofu that ran a Microsoft operating system.

Now, though, Chairman Bill Gates' computer corporation is trying to reup its cool cred by opening Microsoft stores (not to be confused with Apple stores) in malls across America. Oh, and providing hip, young potential customers with free concerts by Gym Class Heroes!

Officially, the Microsoft-versus-Apple retail war comes to Miami at exactly 10:30 a.m. on Saturday, May 18, when Dadeland Mall gets its very own PC emporium, stocked with "a curated assortment of products, including Surface, Windows 8 PCs, Windows Phones, Kinect for Xbox 360, Office products, and more."

Then that same day, as the Microsoft staff enthuses via Facebook, "Get ready, Miami! We're celebrating our grand opening... with a free performance by Gym Class Heroes" at the Fillmore Miami Beach.

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