Family Love…..Blood Ties Optional

Whenever someone asks me how many children I have I tell them two. Now anyone that knows me may be wondering why I say this. It is true that I only gave birth to one of my children but that does not mean anything. The day my daughter got married God gave me another child. It is true that I have a beautiful 21 year old girl that I have raised since birth. Now I also have a 20 year old son who was given to me through the act of marriage. I have two children that I love and support and would not have it any other way.

Some people might believe I let my daughter get married too young. She was only 20 years old at the time and her husband was only 19. I have many reasons for giving my blessing to their union. Although the circumstances were very different, I also got married at the age of 20. My late husband gave his approval for the marriage which in itself was a miracle, since he thought no one was good enough for his baby girl. One of the main reasons of my approving of the marriage was the fact that my son-in-law would be getting deployed in a year. After losing my husband, I wanted to make sure my daughter could have at least one year of marriage with her husband before his deployment.

I have heard people say that you can’t love a child not born to you the way you would love your own. I do not agree with this at all. I love my boy and try to take care of him with the same intensity I do my daughter. I do not believe that blood alone can make a family. In my opinion it is the love and commitment you show that make you a family. Blood ties alone cannot bring people together otherwise there wouldn’t be so many children who have been abandoned by one or both of their parents. The thought of ever abandoning either of my kids would never cross my mind. In my mind, a child is your child until the day you die. You can never love a child too much and you can never stop loving them no matter what they might do.

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Nor do we have two heads or carry leprosy. We walk among you unnoticed until normal little everyday things force us to fall apart in public and reveal ourselves. This is my place to vent my frustrations, wallow when I need to and discover a new future because the unthinkable did happen and my husband died suddenly at 38 leaving me and our two little babies under the age of two behind.