7/31 Big Brother Live Feed Recap: Get Some!

The Big Brother cameras are watching the Hamsters 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but even the most dedicated feed watcher can't keep up with that schedule. What did you miss while you weren't watching?

As we rejoin the houseguests they're still on lockdown in the HOH room. They are their usual insanely boring selves and nothing eventful happens even after they're released. So let's just skip ahead to the HOH endurance competition, shall we? The houseguests, in a mind-boggling show of solidarity, evicted Angie 8-0. I bet Angie is just kicking herself because she missed this fun competition and instead gets to talk to as many boys as she wants! If you missed the show, they are all lined up on a leaning ledge that periodically leans a little bit more and thumps around. Oh, and there's a giant blow dryer that shoots smelly wind and garbage at them. The shakes and flying trash don't happen nearly enough to satisfy this recapper. I want them all to suffer as we have suffered watching them on the feeds this year. SUFFER!

America's player, Dan, starts fidgeting and complaining almost immediately. It's obvious that he's going to throw this competition and is trying to make his pending fall as believable as possible. Alas, he doesn't get to be the first to hit the pseudo-pavement. Jerry lasts about 25 minutes before he drops and laments, "Too big, 200 lbs". He then yells out that he "shouldn't have been squeezing those balls all day". Gross. Libra doesn't last much longer than gramps. Less than 10 minutes later she tells everyone "Ya'll stay strong, I gotta go". No sooner is she off the wall than she wishes for wind and earthquakes. Nice. Dan stays in a respectable 10 more minutes then gives up the facade. Another 10 minutes pass (what is with these 10 minute increments? Conspiracy?) and Ollie surprisingly falls off the wall. Like a tree being felled; stick straight and silent. He joins the crowd on the benches to cheer on his bed buddy. A few minutes later the crowd on the ground is whispering about Jessie and how long he's been able to stay up there. Ollie talks directly into his microphone about Jessie breaking the rules by wrapping his arm around the handrail. Keesha also tells her microphone "That's not fair!" and we go to trivia. When we come back, Jessie is off the wall so we must assume that he has been disqualified.

So itís down to April, Memphis, Michelle and Renny. Memphis doesn't last much longer and is out one hour and twelve minutes into the competition. With only girls left on the wall, the peanut gallery turns pervy. Every time the wall shakes someone yells, "Get some!". It wasn't funny the first time. But they insist on saying it. Every. Single. Time. Renny loses her balance close to the two-hour mark and ends up turning herself around, so she also gets disqualified. Michelle and April battle it out in almost complete silence for the remainder of the competition. Michelle starts struggling an awful lot and the deal talk begins. Michelle says she just wants to see her mom. April says, and I quote, "I just need the room". April promises not to put up Michelle, not even if the veto is used. She also promises not to nominate Jessie. She swears on her nephew, Boston. She swears! Michelle struggles with the decision and with herself for a long time before finally giving up and falling to the ground after almost three hours on the wall. April is HOH! Jessie stomps off! April stays up for another minute then falls down and Ollie jumps on her. Jessie comes back with a cup of water and lots of comfort for Michelle. Aww, I guess he really is more than just a meathead.

Back in the house Jerry starts talking strategy almost immediately but April brushes him off and says she doesn't want to talk game tonight. Instead, she talks strategy with Libra and Renny. She says her target is Memphis but she is mad at Keesha (already?) for talking to Memphis and threatens to put her up. Right in front of Keesha's biggest ally, Renny. Oy, this girl is s-m-r-t. Renny runs back to Keesha and they start scheming and counting votes. They talk about aligning with Memphis, Michelle and Jessie this week to keep Memphis in the house. We'll see if anything comes of that. I have my doubts. Nobody has a backbone in this house.

Later on we see April's HOH room (Ooh! Aah! Zzzzz...) and find out that Ollie will be sharing her bed. Shocker! Meanwhile, Dan is called to the diary room. Libra jokes upstairs that he was acting funny during the competition and that he's America's Player and getting his next assignment. Uh-oh, I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed that Dan was faking it! When Dan gets back he lays it on thick for Jessie's nomination. Geez, this boy is transparent! Now we all know who the winner of the AP vote was. Eventually everyone gets out of the soon-to-be contaminated love nest so April and Ollie can celebrate. April pats herself on the back and talks about how awesome she is. Ollie agrees. April tells Ollie that she's going to nominate Jessie and Memphis, with the target being Memphis. If the veto is used, she's putting up Michelle. Her word sure lasted long. Sorry, Boston, your aunt has no integrity.

The night winds down with Ollie and April sleeping on opposite sides of the bed (she must be exhausted). Renny, Keesha and Libra giggle and make fun of Jerry until the wee hours of the morning. Same old, same old.

Some random happenings around the house:

Today (Friday) is Keesha's birthday.

April thinks that she showed everyone she was a fierce competitor and now they will all be gunning for her.

Jerry blew a snot rocket in the backyard.

Did I mention that today was Keesha's birthday?

Half of the house thinks the earthquake was put on by BB.

Memphis thinks that half of the house is idiotic and will bet anyone $500 that the earthquake was real.

Renny is gunning for Jerry. Hard.

Today is Keesha's birthday!

The next day when the house wakes up they're all getting along wonderfully. They find a field hockey setup in the backyard. Half of the house plays Lacrosse, and the other half comically replays last night's competition. My shift ends the same way it began, in lockdown. The houseguests think they're setting up a luxury competition. Tune in to tomorrow's recap to find out if they're right and if April kept her word to Michelle!

Thanks to lildago and Snapit for the awesome screencaps!

Have any quotes from Anchorman other than "Knights of Columbus!"? PM me and I'll forward them on to Memphis.