If no budget deal is reached between Congress and President Barack Obama by the end of the year, the United States will face what Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke described as "a massive fiscal cliff of large spending cuts and tax increases."

We know the seriousness of this situation because no news program goes more than 10 minutes without telling us the seriousness of the situation.

The closest historical precedence for anything like the "fiscal cliff" is found in the 1984 movie, "Ghostbusters" -- when the ghostbusters inform the mayor of New York that the city is threatened by a disaster of biblical proportions:

The news media have told us that the failure to avoid the fiscal cliff will result in--and make no mistake about it--a serious situation. They've reported that there will be an immediate tax increase on most earners and massive cuts to government programs, the defense budget, and Medicare.

But this is just the stuff they're telling us. Could it mean the end of the world? It might just be worse than that.

Here is a partial list of what will happen if Congress and the president don't agree to a budget deal before January 1, 2013.

-- The United States will convert to the metric system.

-- Replacement refs will return to the National Football League.

-- Congress will repeal the laws of gravity, leaving thousands of other bills up in the air.

-- The National Anthem will change from the "Star-Spangled Banner" to "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight."

-- Hours will have 61 - minutes.

-- All prime-time television programs will be required to include at least one appearance by a member of the Kardashian family.

-- You will only be able to buy shoes for left feet and socks for right feet.

-- Olivia Newton-John will marry former major league pitcher Tommy John, divorce him, marry singer Wayne Newton, divorce him and then marry chef Jamie Oliver. She will become Olivia Newton-John-John-Newton-Oliver.

-- Texting will end, forcing millions of Americans to talk to each other.

-- Texas and Arizona will be returned to Mexico, which will then pass repressive anti-immigrant legislation.