05.21.17The Week in ReviewMonday 5.15.17Twelve solid hours on the computer, reinvigorating the job hunt. I still haven’t Googled “job boards” to see if they work, but I’m feeling productive. And it reminds me of all the skills I have accumulated over my many years (since the age of 12) in the workforce. There are “Hiring Events” on the horizon, later in the week. I’m ready.

Tuesday, 5.16.17Maybe a day at the YMCA. I don’t remember. I even asked Sheila. She doesn’t remember either. Busy lives, busy minds. Yea.

Wednesday, 5.17.17I think I drank wine today. I think I felt lost, at sea without an anchor. I think I made pizza late at night. We’ll call it throw-back Wednesday. I felt pitiful and told my sister that I should have deserved a welcome home party.

Thursday, 5.18.17I really didn’t want to go to the YMCA, but I did. I really do enjoy taking care of myself, but I’m still having to work at it. It’s a good job to work at.

Also on the docket: a FREE (who doesn’t love free?) music concert at the Grand Theatre - with a full cash bar - following dinner and drinks at Malarkey’s in downtown Wausau. How can I not love date-night with my sister?!?! It was interesting watching the various age groups who responded in so many various ways to a music scene which varied in so many ways to the one I left behind (in so many various ways). The theatre was beautiful, reminding me of a time spent long ago having cultural experiences in downtown Milwaukee in one of my hey-days. I had several hey-days. I am having a hey-day.

Friday, 5.19.17I’m not positive, but I think I had another wine day. (I have no real schedule.) But in contrast to Wednesday’s wine day, today I felt completely at home. My transition is becoming more familiar and comfortable. And my sister spoiled the surprise - that I practically begged for - and informed me that there would, in fact, be a welcome home party for me at Mary’s house in Sussex next weekend (Saturday, May 27, you are invited!) (so as not to infringe on Jody’s special day on June 10). (I really just need a moment where the spotlight is shining on me, just one single moment, and then I think I will be able to move on to…somewhere.)

Saturday, 5.20.17 It’s “Hiring Event” day. Roundy’s/Pick & Save and also Office Max/Office Depot. If there’s time, I will also be checking out All Star Nutrition. though my credentials for that one may be a little rusty. Also on my to-go-to list (for shopping, but wait maybe I could get a job there too) is Michaels, JoAnn Fabrics, Hobby Lobby, and then, oh wait, are you serious…Barnes & Noble? God, I love the city! (I still haven’t mentioned my experience at Fleet Farm, or Shopko, or… OMG, I am feeling a little verklempt…) (I would like to mention my newly-renewed artist soul, which explains the inordinate amount of time and money spent at the above-referenced stores, not to mention the inordinate amount of time first spent perusing the internet for free resources. Brick and Mortar is not going away in my lifetime, if I have anything to say about it. I need to touch, see, feel and breathe. Who among my readers doesn’t get their mojo on when they walk into a bookstore? I want to LIVE there, seriously.)

And then after the hiring event (where I was offered a job, more on that later...), Sheila and I drove to Rhinelander to a natural food store. Rhinelander has memories for me, as does Tomahawk (which might have been a side trip today had it not been for the [insane] weather), as does Rib Mountain which is in my new back yard. (Anybody remember a ski-trip in high school?) On the way home, I had my first-ever up-close sighting of a bald eagle. And to cap off the day, we went out to eat at the Olive Garden (man, I love noodles and Alfredo sauce and bread sticks and Parmesan cheese, but this is so-not going to work for my carb-cleanse!) and then we came home and watched catch-up episodes of the “Gilmore Girls.”

Sunday, 6.21.17I think that’s where I need to end. I am overwhelmed and overjoyed and over-stimulated and over the moon. Why did I wait so long to take back my life?

I felt ashamed and failed for a very long time. And I felt completely immobilized. I felt wounded and broken and unworthy. But, ultimately, I was able to fall into the safety net of my family’s arms, which they opened up to me, and now the past matters no more.

I am here. And I am free for the first time in a long time and for so very long to come, which means I can finally see a future.