I wrote this poem after realizing that I no longer felt tortured by all the negative thoughts that ran through my mind on a daily basis. Many of us are allowing the Enemy to manipulate our minds. We want to be free, but it seems that most will look for complex ways to achieve this goal and we will vilify the only One that can totally set us free.

Day after day many of us are wondering; “Why do I feel so sad?” “Why do I hate myself and others?” “Why do I see no hope?” The list goes on and on. Personally speaking, I believe it’s the strong bond we have with the Enemy (Satan and his fallen angels.) He smiles as he watches the destruction of humans. Many say that they want to be in control of their own lives, but don’t realize we are either under God’s Guidance, or we are under the manipulation of the Enemy. Our minds are so warped that we find what the Enemy has to offer sweet, and what God has to offer as restrictive. We do need a shift in our thinking, so that we may live free and lifted up.

I am sure that most of us at one time or another suffered from insomnia, anxious thoughts or depression. For some reason we just don’t like to speak of it. I truly believe that this is satan’s way of keeping us under his control.

I have experienced a period in my life when I was unable to sleep at night. Being unable to work because of my Lupus/ Vasculitis (arthritis) I spent much time in pain, but was also very anxious and depressed. My whole focus was on me, me and more me.

At some point; as a last-ditch effort (since nothing else was working) I decided to put God to the test. I cried out to Him, I searched His Word, I claimed every promised I found in the bible, and in time things began to change. I realized I was no longer looking outward at those around me, or inward at my sorry state, but I was looking “Upward.” Upward to God.

Looking back now I realized I was being tormented by satan; he was manipulating my mind. I remember the exact time God took over, but I really can’t put it into words. All I can tell you is that God chased my tormentor away, and He, by way of His Holy Spirit is now the one to Guide and Light my path. It is now my desire to stay so close to God that satan will never be manifested in my life in that way again. I so wish the same “Peace” to be found by others, it won’t just come and drop in your laps….you will have to search with all your being, but you “will” find it.

The words in this poem are words that were given to me by way of the Holy Spirit. I of my own know nothing about the mind on any higher level than the bible. As for poems and writing, I am sure there is a proper and improper way to do it; however that is not my main focus. My main focus is to share my walk with Jesus with you, and how I see Him working in my life. God does open our eyes in many different ways. I my case, many times He will give me a word, for example in this poem I used the word “repudiation,” He brought that to my mind. Yes, I should be ashamed to say I didn’t know the meaning, but found that it fitted what I wanted to say.

Another such word I got from the Holy Spirit was the word “Capitulate.” So for days I tried to figure out the meaning of this word; of course I know how to spell it now, but at that time as I tried to find it in the dictionary I was looking for it to begin with the letter “K.”

It was a shock to me when I finally found the word. God was telling me I needed to surrender, when I thought I was already surrendered. God is seeking our total surrender, and it can only come from dying daily to self.

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So this poem is about one of the most unusual things that I have ever experience. It’s the kind of event that I would find hard to believe, if I was told it by another.

There is a Light in the upper room;

I sense it’s the presence of my Lord, my Savior.

Brought by constant searching and yearning

Faithfully seeking to win His favor.

There is a Light in the upper room;

The presence of it causes me to relax.

The Holy Spirit’s joy and comfort

Never wane and never wax.

There is a Light in the upper room;

The Spirit lights the path that’s true.

Invisible, yet beautifully manifested

To all who walk with a spiritual view.

There is a Light in the upper room;

I wonder when or from where it came.

But by faith I pray in earnest

And hope that it will always remain.

When all is dark around,

That shining Light is ever-present.

Fear is gone, peace remains

I know this Light is sent from heaven.

There is a Light in the upper room.

I have a room in my house where I write all my poetry, edit my nature photos, and sometimes I will also do my daily devotions is this room. One night I got up to go to the bathroom, only to see the room flooded with light. It was so odd. I went into the room to see what could be giving off the light, as so many gadgets these days give off light in the darkness, however this was a more powerful light. I sat down in the chair and decided I would embrace the light as coming from God. I felt peaceful, I felt happy, it was as if God wa saying to me, ” I approve of the work you do in this room Leola.”

On waking up the next night, my work room was once again illuminated with light. I went in and sat for a while before going back to bed. I thought about mentioning it to my hubby, but would he understand; he may think I’m hallucinating. So I said nothing.

The next day however, my hubby asked; “Leola, are you leaving a light on in the front room at night? The question wipe away any doubts I may have had. He then said; “Maybe the street light is shining in.” That was not possible as the street light is not right in front of our home, and I had further more also check the outdoors.

I would see the Light one more time after this. It appeared as a streak, down the back of the chair in which I sit to do my work. This came at a time when I was having back pain, so I sat in the chair and began to pray.

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Israel was God’s chosen people. They were to give His Light to the rest of the world. God was their King and they were to serve Him only, but time and time again they turned their backs on God so they could serve other gods. When they turned their backs on God to do their own “thing,” God withheld their blessings.

Judges 3: 7, 8 & 9 The Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord; they forgot the Lord their God and served the Baals and Asherahs. The anger of the Lord burned against Israel so that He sold them into the hands Cushan-Rishathaim king of Aram Naharaim, to whom the Israelites were subject for eight years. 9 But when they cried out to the Lord, He raised up for them a deliverer, Othniel son of Kenaz, Caleb’s younger brother, who saved them.

This shows that God will never condone certain behaviour. We also must realize that there is a penalty to pay when we come out from under God’s protection. We cannot expect His full blessing when we are not honouring Him.

The New Testament God is the same God of the Old Testament. For example the rules set out for us to live by in the Old Testament (10 commandments) still applies today. We show our love for God by obeying His commands.

When Jesus returns to this earth, He is coming for the ones who remained faithful to Him by following His commandments. The others who did their own thing in showing God they wanted no part of Him, will suffer everlasting death.

Matthew 24: 46 ” Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

This is another poem from my book “Walking With the Spirit.” I wrote it at a time in my life when everything seemed to be falling apart. I was ill, I was in pain and I thought no one cared. I also wondered where God really was. Could He not see me? I started searching the bible on a daily basis to prove or disprove whether it was really possible to have a connection with God.

While my situation did not change immediately, I started looking at things differently. I also decided to allow God to be my Guide, it meant that I would have to let go of anger, that I would have to forgive. As difficult as it was to do, I did it. My reward from God would be riches, not the earthly riches that we seek, but just a great sense of well-being, something that no one can take from me. This is why I want to be a witness for God, because of what He has done, and is still doing for me.