You are not required to set yourself on fire

October 26th, 2016 by Judy Stoffel Loewen

I read this quote (attributed to Unknown) recently, and it keeps coming back to me as a very important thing to know: You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. At some level it seems like it is just cute, but on another it makes me realize that it is precisely what I have been doing almost my entire life – and I am done. It is not my job to make anyone else happy. It is not my goal to make anyone else unhappy either, but I do not always have to be last. In fact, it is not healthy to always put myself last – it is important for me to take care of myself. Isn’t it at least a little funny that I am the first one to tell others that you have to take care of yourself, or you won’t have the resources you need to take care of anyone else. It is true; I believe it with my whole heart. And yet I am not sure that I have actually acted in accordance with it until recently.

So that changes for me now. I am happy to help others when I can. I am no longer happy to do things that do not feel my soul and that take up my energy so that I no longer have any for what is important for me to do. My self-care is important, and I will act like it is!

Where do you stand on this? Regardless of what you say, what do you do? Do you take care of yourself first, or do you get what is left at the end of the day – if there IS anything left?

2 comments on this post.

Nancy:

October 27th, 2016 at 8:57 am

This is something I have to relearn all the time! Thanks for the reminder, especially the great way it’s stated. My fire is for me, which helps everyone else in a much better way than if I cater to them first.

Judy Stoffel Loewen:

October 29th, 2016 at 10:31 am

Thanks! It is something I wish I would have written, as I find it to be too true!