Social Media Ruined My Marriage

Me: I mean, one minute it was fine, and then poof!! I don’t know. I’ll call someone to fix this mess.

Him: Ok…. make sure you get ranch this time please.

Me: *hangs head in shame* Will do.

Ok, well maybe I was being a bit extra with the title of the blog, but my hunny dip is going to start looking outside my house to quench his thirst. Literally. See what the issue is yall, is that over the last few days I have burnt many a meal because I left the food to watch TV, check FB, or play candy crush. As I type this now, I am racking my brain trying to figure out how I am going to replace the burnt sausage links that are now at the bottom of my trash can.

The other day, I burnt a pot of string beans. HOW THE FREAK DO YOU BURN STRING BEANS!?!?!?!? I set the pot on the stove in the morning, and promised that I would turn them down and cover them before I left for church, but in the midst of being preoccupied with getting out the house on time, and checking my cell for missed messages, I did’t turn it down. We came home to a smokey house, and praise God that it wasn’t more serious. The house still smells a bit smokey. Later that same day, I decided to put hotdogs on the grill. I walked away to come in to the house, got on my laptop, and forgot. I ran outside to find the grill spewing huge smoke clouds from the side. Suffice to say, those had to be thrown away too, and then I had to run to the store to buy some more.

Last night I burnt chicken wings I was making to watch Monday Night Football. *sigh* . I can’t take too many more of my families side eye, as I try to explain that we are feasting on Cajun delicacies. I just wish there was something that you could set the time to cook your meal and it would buzz when it was done. You know, so you wouldn’t forget it. Sort of like an alarm clock, but for your food. I don’t know, with the current technological advances, my wish seems light years away. I hope my grand-kids are around to see when this, i’ll call it “oven timer”, is created.

note to self, look into copyrighting my idea of said “oven timer”

Well, I’m off to figure out what my family is going to eat for breakfast.