to think he shouldn't be having nights out if he can't afford to contribute to family?

DH has a lot of debt from his previous marriage which he is trying to clear so one day we may be in a position to buy a house together. At the moment I pay for rent, bills, food, all kids necessities, clothes, activities etc. He pays for car running costs, I mostly pay for fuel as DCs and I use it the majority of the time. We went on holiday in half term, his only financial contribution was the fuel to get us there - approximately 1/7th of what the holiday cost. In August we're going away and his contribution is to buy the meal passes which cost around 1/5th of the total holiday costs. Tonight he is out for a meal and drinks, in a couple of weeks he's going out all day/night for a friends birthday about 30 miles away. They were planning to get hotel rooms there, I offered to pick them up to help DH save money but he gave a vague answer which I know means no. AIBU to think I shouldn't be paying for everything while he is spending money on going out? I understand he needs to go out once in a while but this frequently when in debt is taking the piss I think

Are you living together? If so, why don't you both put your incomes into a joint account to pay all your bills and expenses, then discuss whether you can afford these extra events? It seems strange to me to talk about what he pays and what you pay.

Why do you have his n hers money? I understand he has debt and thats not your responsibility. But when he gets his wages eg £1000 he should pay his debts eg £250 and the remaining £750 should go into the family pot. All expenses get paid etc.

Holly - a loan and credit card he and ex took out only came to light after we married. We'd be able to afford the events from my earnings but seems unfair that I pay for his living expenses, children and nights out! The longer he takes to repay debts the more interest he is paying hence why I think nights out shouldn't be taking priority

I was a bit like this in my first marriage. I can tell you that I was a very poor financial prospect and a bit of a drain on my first husband.

Talk to him about it, because you're resenting him, which is a royal road to more problems. But I'm not sure what the answer is. I'm massively better now than I was, because my very patient second dh actually showed how shocked he was at a piece of financial irresponsibility I'd barely even thought about.