Monday, July 20, 2009

Just returned from my trip to Cuba with a torn ACL in my right knee. Now Air travel at the best of times has changed from the glory years of past to mix of a flying version of greyhound bus travel, a legal ponzi scheme, and a W.W.II death march. From the bait and switch fare price sales. "WOW I just saw a fare to Scotland for 9 bucks!" Then the let down heavier than a bad internet date. Here in Canada you find these air deals like 9 dollar flights only to be slapped in the face with a tax structure that would be illegal in north Africa. That taxes can be as high as $300 on that 9 dollar flight. The old bait and switch. The airlines also love these cheap fares to your destination than a $600 flight back. Have you ever tried to find a cheap return ticket.

Now that you have paid your, airport improvement tax, security tax, fuel surcharge, landing fees, departure taxes, bad service tax, and sitting in front of a screaming kicking child tax. The money grab has just begun. Oh you have actual luggage well fork over some $$$$, You are cold and want a blanket? more $$$ please ( I am convinced they turn the air way down on planes now so they can rent more blankets). Thirsty well that will be a second mortgage please even though airplane cabin air is dehydrating. And let's not even discuss the food. I am lucky that I fly business class most of the time, but I do fly coach alot and on a 4 hour flight a snack would be nice. Now you can buy food to take with you but they have a new scam with that. I call it,. the 9/11 economic model. Sorry you cant bring food with you through the security checkpoint that subway meatball marinara sandwich maybe a bomb, or your California rolls may be used to assault the flight crew. Now you have to buy a over priced turkey wrap or stale sabbaros pizza on the airside.

And this generations flight attendants, They used to be fun, perky, flirty and, talkative. Now they are drones all resembling some weird mix of a stepford wife and polyester wearing Martha Stewart. They dont even do the safety show anymore they just hit play on the in flight entertainment system. I am sorry that they sold their life out for cheap airfare to Mexico and a bad haircut,but they chose their career path.

Mix all that up with the battan death march at the ticket counter and security. The Orwellian customer service models and the fact that I am no longer allowed to get piss drunk and flying has lost it's panache.

So next time you fly, try this air travel fun, smile at every employee like you are a scientologist, request everything free you can even though you may not get it. make your rude flight attendant answer tons of stupid questions because if they are going to bankrupt you, we might as well make them work for their money.

A brief Caveat: There are still some really great people and service in this business treat the with respect and let their bosses know when the provide great service.