Dating misunderstandings and trust Part1

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I’m writing this because of a recent experience of mine. It’s not the first time it’s happened, but in both cases it was devastating to what could’ve been. I’ll start by talking about my experiences and then tell you the conclusion I’ve come to.

5 years ago I was on a date with a girl. She was kinda insecure and after talking to her for a while I found out she’d been through a bad break-up. As the date progressed she was visibly lighting up with the way I was trying to support her through it and was happy when we ended out date at my flat near the train station, waiting for the train. I had made sure she knew I sympathized with her, we had laughed together and now we were sitting in the same 2-seat sofa. She kissed me. I was surprised, but reciprocated her gesture as I’d been kinda lonely the last year and it was welcome.

She thought I wanted to get her into bed. French-kissing on the first date was a crossing a line for me in the first place and she was the one who instigated it, but from there and to want her into bed right then and there was a bit much for me. I tried to laugh it off till I realized she was serious and then vehemently refused the idea. It resulted in her leaving 10 mins later for the train we had been waiting for and me not hearing from her for a year. A year later she contacted me again and asked if I wanted to go on a date. I told her she owned me an apology and I never heard from her again.

Last month I met some girls when I was on vacation. We went out for dinner, then out partying and late into the night at a club I asked one of them in her ear if I could have a dance with her. She asked me if I asked her to dance on me…

I was dumbfounded. I was instantly reminded of the girl from 5 years ago and how bad that went. I got berated with “We don’t do stuff like that” Told her “No, do you want to dance WITH me?”. We ended up leaving together 5 mins later and didn’t get along very well after that.

The funny thing is that until that point I’d been helping them with understanding how a hostel works, gave them directions, taught them a bit about the local customs and generally tried to make their trip more pleasant. One inkling of what she thought was a crude advance on her and all that counted for nothing. They weren’t even the only ones I’d helped and it wasn’t only girls I helped either.

My point with all this is. Use your common sense when dealing with guys. A guy who has been nothing but nice to you might just be that. Nice. He may just be genuine when he tells you you got it wrong. Even if you don’t wanna be wrong. You’re just cheating yourself out of good company.

Thank you for sharing Kenneth87. I have found this situation from the females view of being hit on and also If I kiss a guy it doesn’t mean I want to jump into bed with him.
Thankyou for sharing much appreciated.

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