Gleaner_19790401

J d I"
t
Krlteda Sa,_1 'It'. Up To .... •
Bobby Building At Nazareth
..,.,J ....
1\ glglntlc ~ bulldlrl\! II
being ~n.octed on the
l"Ia.areth campus grounds
which will ellminatl! I lL other
bulldIngI Mel 11OCi11Ues. The
~ Bobby BulIdIna ~ wilL a.t III
estimattId flfty billion doIlats
IOnd will beoIIme the centr.1
building on o;.ompus.
eenterlng on the fltt that he
n.onlyone ~ l nhumlnel y tl ny~ """'.
Mock Elections Held
Designed by VIIQf"Id fl/TIOUI
... ;hte<;t , F.l. Right, the
building b over 300 storiel
hljtllOnd Is the toIlest building
ever constn.>c;ted. 1t will houM
50 bllketbell~, 43 pools.
17 stories of Ioeker rooms.nd
President ~rlterla's living
querters and personel mfr,
quertefll.
One 01 the meet lmprasI""
~ of the new building
will be the 1/8" mile high neon
IIign that tpelis OIA '"Bobby".
"Tbe Inltill.. K<:Ording to
~rlurla . lI.nd fo r the
"Brotl">oelhood of Bohemian
Biracial Vocks" whofronted!he
flrst flfty dollars IOWlIrd con­stlUdlon.
lieodded thM. "only
the YlIineSl 01 people would put.
their own nlrne on the
bulldlng.~
Kriteria SIIId that !he rest 01
lhe money for ' construction
came from "flfty )'Mrs of
students~ .nd ". ""'Y lucky
break In the third race al
Bat"";a Down.. "
StUlients will have \.1M of the
moln lobby and two JP.IC\ous
claslrooms (9' • I'., on !he
lnth fIoo(, ItteISlble by the
outside fire escape. Student
~ will be In the :16 sub­basement
l~l, In f'OOI\'\I
designed by Mr. Vader, 0Ire<:­tor
of the Security Force.
The elec;tIOtl$ held last "ItfIlek
forstudentoff\cersWHe, In fact.
mock o:le<:tlons, P,,,sldenl
Kt+terla told the Cle4t1er al •
do2d ..--tl"!illast night The
ele<:tlons. wet'e held OS e test of
student InvoIvemenI ~ al-
I
""''''''. "'We ~~ told," $!lId Kriteria.
"that the students were ~ry
apllthelk. This seems to be
true-I'd definitely 58:( the
students failed the lest,"
Upon Investl~tlng further.
\he ~found out that 70.,.
01 the students didn't even
know about the elections.. The
ele<:tlons. held In the ;z,nltor'l
closet In the t>esemenl 01 the
Shutt. Center had e turnout of
30';' of the SlI.Iden1 body.
These studenU must be com­I'I'lef>
ded on thelr,.rnool spirit.
even though most 01 them
dldn', know '-' to work the
12 Le •• Students:
voting rnadllne. end one st ...
dent had to ~ the IIlIme!I
read to him. as he hu trouble
with 'III'OI"ds with more thon 3 .. ,=
It. cemp.a poll ~~ that
most of the studefu did not
ca.eaboul theoff1c:ef1.. Krlterla
c:ornfnented, 1haI', euctJy
what I suspected. Thoey'nI! all
pussy· ... lmps. anyway."
"ConfidenUally. rye ordere:l
one gross of Karen Ann
OulnlAn ""'--l pb.n '" fill
the oIfk:es ~ 'voted' on with
lho!m !WId ke!!p the rflt for the
future tI$e- thaI way I can be
certain 1 don't get IIny nllCk
about my de<:lslons. Who
knows- I may even reploce the
entire third floor of Ke.n-..y
with them- i\ would solve two
p.obl"m"$IOfllge of the
clones. and tlwot woof. floor,"
!he mQSt difficult decillion I
hid to moke,~ MId .Presldent
Kritffil. ""was ~ to put the
night deck and the roc tnoc:k.~
The President all-O cited
8e\Ier.1 d lt-ldvantoges with the
current school Aroundl.
Most campus buildings will
hav'I! to be destroyed before
construction besll... In early
J une. The Bobby Building: is
being COfIlItructeel by students
I{rlwla stated the mQSt 1m­portont
reason for the con·
"ruction of the building is 10
gl"" f'iIworeth the recognition
it deserves and to houM the
newly purd>ased Los Angeles
Lake.-.. "We can't rely on lhe
Ithletlc teams to get UI on the
map; It's up to me.~
Jlossession of Illegal Paraphernalia
(UPI) Rochester. M.V._AU
the membert. 01 the 1'Ia1ireth
CoU~ Music Department
Wf!re . rresled )'6terday for
posItMlon of vaficus IIltgOl
paraphemaill.
Tragedy in Bora Bora
Acqul~ in the nlld at the
f'iIworeth Campuswere lengths
01 rubber I>o:>soe.large QI*1Ilties
of Vaseline petroleum Jelly .•
number of pairs of rubber
gloves. and O\'i!r 50 packets of
clgaretle rolling paper.
N .. areth College authofltles
would not comment on the in­cident
Sll)'lng theydid not have
the full poIlce~.
It,. kulett O'Han
The anlmol beMvior daa,
t.ugh! by Dr . QUllgan
llaLfaman. returned from ib
field trip to Bono Bor. Sundily
Iwlth 12 less students than II
IlUIrted out .. Ith. The class set
out II week ago to study the
Uthuenlan spOtted lemming In F ert back to Rochester,"
menteel Halfamon ... hen
e:e:e l the purpoee 01 the trip. did Halfaman know the
~lk;~~~; no bus IIvanabie on the day
planned to leave. n,., trip
I (W>ded by g"'nts from lhe .sss. the Humane SocI..ty of
«< ....... """'" .ned by the class through '''''''''. Sister Qrass. heod of the
department, exp<es.I-great
agitation over the
tragedy.
"What? 011. THAT trag.,dy. I
lly think 11"1. dwlme~ Arter
-..orked 110 hard 10 Urn the
for theI. trip. And walk.
to Bora Bono II no mean
feat. r""nev..rsee<l}'Ol.lguysal
the CIeaner .... k to Bora Bora.-
The tragedy occured at I;()Q
p.m. Bora Borl time last
Wednesday, Dr. H.lfamlln
recoiled.
"At least 1 THINK It was last
Wednesdey. The kids Wf!f>I out
togoaldnny-dlpplng In lhe lake
__ our campground and next Spults To Save Lives
lime I glanced CNef theff! was The State o.,p.lvatlon
nothing but 2412 bones ()eparunent 01 Environrnentll
f1oetlng; In the .... Ier. I kno.. Conse<vlllon ~ t<>
!hot's how many becIux the day thai the Otto A. Spults
hWTlllJ1 body haJ 206 bones Center will SIMi! the II ..... of
and 206. 12 equel, 24n. I manYlnlmalslf ltls notmoved
Ogureel It out on the way back. 314 Inc:heI to the.....stoflts pre-
Inmyheld,evenlArryqy.how sent location. Nar.ar..!tw PresI·
ConI'd. on '"- 3 dentKriterla.....slnformedthal
AptItb,. At All n-HIgII:
Lose Our Lanes?
""H..netto."~ N.azareth 1$ once again In
dangef of losing one of Its
".-.. ...... - foclllties; and noane Is doing a
thing about it!
"Student apathy II .t an all
time high: MY. Sr. Polly 8.
PIJ"I$. full·lime director of the
Medallle.lleys.··AfuI1 21Ianes
of bowling and the only group
that ever used the pI~ II the
Pittsford SenIor Citizens Club.
So now we are going to hove to
close because of 1Ick of use!~
When liked .my she thought
Nauorelh "uden\.s do not bowl
on campus, Sr. p-,." offered,
"'111ere aff! too many pointy
headed Inlellectual types
around here. Everybody IsJUII
100 tcp/"Ilstlcateel to enjoy an
oIdfnhloned~ofbow!lng.
Students Itt IS though the
bowling l.nes don't even
ex i stJ ~
Aff! "udents .... re Wf! m'9h1
lose this Htablishment which
has served the Natarelh com­Cont
·d.on p~ 3
the lIulldlt\!l borders the
rnIgrato<y path 01 the In­f.
mous UII" .. nl.n t.pOIted
lemming. and will have to be
moved so the anlmols can
complele their annuel suicide
mission to Alaska.
Local COfI$I!fVatlonlst. Ger·
trude Gazelle told the Cleaner
~ """Qo,h. rm SO 100(.
rIedI If Kriterllo does"1 '""""
the Spults Centre, 50.000.000
mlse",bIe. suicidal lemmings
.. m be milling about the N4l
Cllmpus. Of COUfH, Wf! could
round them up and teach lhem
to play RussIan roulette. or
moybewe could whip up. c0u­ple
gallons of KooI·AId.. .. ~
When liked for his opinion
on the migratory predicament.
P.esldent I{rlterla IIlIggeSled.
~Why nol collect .1I1he lemm-
1f>Q$ 05 they collide .. lIh lhe
Spults Center and tum them
loose in Kearney Cafeteria?
ThaI would be Just IS effect,,,,,
II the propooed cliff.leaping
and • lot cheIper."
StUlients Involved in ' he .ald
SllIeI they used the , .. Ious
ooo<k lor their Instrument.s..
Several students Interviewed.
who wished to remain
nomeleu, stetedthefe "good,"
. ff! tradltloon5l and ne<:eSIII'Y
equipment for InItrurnentll
-~ .... PoIk:e MAhoritid doubI: this
slno:e they .lso found teYI!fIIl
marlJ.....,. plants growing In
the gfftnhouse by Clrrroll Hall.
Also found In the basement of
Smyth Hall. the coll~'1 ad·
minlstr.tlon building, .. ere
_al closets full of screet·
Ietlath .olnc;ollts.
"fo date. this haJ been the
biggest connsc.lon of II~I
pIIraphemalia at one pI~.
Sources close 10 th l>
Rochester Polk .. Department
say a similar such raid Is pI.N>­ed
In the near future for the
Eastman School of Musk, •
departmentofthe (.InI""rsllyof ..... ~.
ibamEI
H .... ' I YOII "III ......-. -....
Just A Bunch of Shit I
Thought I'd Get Off
My Mind .. .
rrS R£ALLY UNFAIR
·the! ~ have to suffe, forthe
fools down in Ha lT~rg. PA
have dono:' with their pow<!r
plant. We don', ha~ the
nuclear emergency plan need­ed
\0 deal with the kind of
emergency Pennsylvania now
faces. We don'! e~n have the
proper nU'$ing fa<:ililies need·
ed for II school our sj~ and
f'IAZAIlFI'II NEEDS
·more people like Mary Hot and
Meli~ Dog who pIIInr.ed such
a wonderful Jr Prom .... Iot of
hord wo<k ~nd Irmogi""tion
went into pl~nnlng such a big
~nt. We hope ~xt ~r will
beju,t~ , goocI. We would like
to t~ke this opportunity to
menHon the fact thot. due to e
conHi<:t in scheduling. KeaI"rOtY
Cef .. won't be the location of
next ~r', p<on>. It ~ms
the .... is an outside groop hos
scheduled their fund rei sing
,c.a .m paign for the same night
AIft'T IT A 8HA11lE
·thot we might loose our bowl·
Ing ell~ in Medalll .. bece ..... of
the leek of student ~w~reoess
In such n~ fa<;llltlt$. Why our
gllmeroom Isn't as nl~ly
equipped a:I the lanes ~nd
VADER WlU. TAXI! OVER
·fooM floor MedIIllIe due to II
few Imprectlall student.s who
believe thot false fir .. alarms.
~aodal1sm aod bomb SCIIrt$
a .... part 01 the
JUlDUCAIIWAY
·to drink until ""usee ltlkes
over and ~rs you un·
conscious Is another thing to
look fOl"Wllrd to In Ct!1~lIIion
01 CIIISS '79 with fisher. Mugs
up to whoe-ver thought of ho~·
Ing class day together. W .. · ....
with )/'OU ell the wayl
CLI!AIIER
WE GOT A LETTER!
DeIIr W to"
HI! How are va? I'm finel
How's the fllml1y?
Just thought I'd wrUe a little
note 10 tell you how Ihln.gs are
at my r>eW college! It's C!llIed
Bethlehem College of
Rochester (Mlnr>esol"~ 1",1
lhilt a ooincidence? It's a
Catholiccollege thlltused lobe
lor WOI'TOef1 only. Now they lei
guys Inl Woop;';" WhDt hunksl!1
My favorite ~rt is WOI'king
on tile college newspa~r. It's
aoiled ''The Wiener," I guns
the name has something to do
with rat hairs or Insect plllU,
I'm not sure.
Anyway. this peper Is a real
joke: Only lour dumb ~.
and the hardest news ilemslIli
semester was when Iwo
Chris Spouts Off About Cl. s . Day :
CLOSED
FORUM
It·, thot time 01 ~r egIIln
when. in the endea~or for
human happln .. ss end a
oneoess with ""tu ..... students
get blitzed. $udJ wes the case
of class day 1978. It was really
fun watching everyone get
together to <:el~~te .s.prIng.
lhe .... we .... th ...... banda thot
performed Ia:lt spring allowing
all great composers to Iurn
over In their grave dUO! to the
sheer ~ibratlon of the music. I
had a good lime at class <Illy
lest spring. Everyone seemed
10 be .. nJoylng the greeoess of
the grass and the bird •• even
though no one could hear
them. Ther .. we .... students In
littl .. communitit$ all over the
campus eating end drinking.
aod drinking aod th.owing UP.
~od d.lnklng. Frisbees were
frequently seen on thot <Illy.
and ' .. It. II you happened to get
bonked In the ~ with one
trying to get to the bathroom
before the attldenl. Yt$. it was
truly a celebrlltion of NIIure.
The quentlt!t$ of bee< $pllied
contributed signlfigantlytothe
g.owing of the grass. As the
day moved on. the birds kept
chirping except thot no one
notlc .. d th em. Not ' only
couldn't anyone hear the birds.
but by this time. no one could
see them .. Ith .. r. Belloons
bounced on the grllss in rmony
wond .. rous colors (com.
pllmentsol Dupont).lhere wllS
alsoa chon<:<!! totest you. talent
(and rmoke e fool 01 )/'OUrself) by
learning to Juggl ... Some 01 the
faculty members Inrolt'OIed the
f .. stl~IUes. Of course. this Is 0n­ly
rumo •. no one act .... lly saw
any faculty members. dUO!tothe
drllstk: dllmge In d.ess. Facul·
ty looked Just like students In
thel. jeans. eodT -shIrts.. It was
reported thol someofthe facul·
ty might IuIve tried to welIr
sunglasses to conceal their
identity. Whel a problem this
would enteil if. for some reason
the .... was a bust on Closs day.
&e careful Profsl
And when the day Wa:I ove •.
lhe celeb.~tlon wes evident.
Beer glasses eod papef pleles
pk:t('re5qlJely lined the c~ ....
pus grounds. lhe smell of up­chuck
brought ore's thoughts
beck 10 sprlng.lcen ho.dlyw~l~
for this year's.
Editorial Staff and Friends
-E. .... .­..
.-~,".*.­"""""
. ~
..... BeII-.g
. """'....."
...........• . . RNtMon
...........•. . ...... . .. Gory I.A'Wo
.....•....... DonoIdD.d<.. Looney T ......
.... ~""'Bems\ei1
Fnends:. • ...... ••......• _r.lan.PeIry_
Grell c-"s !?l>osl. Bob. c.oI. Ted"'" Aloe. ~ Mao.
R202. (Unby"'" Pokey. a..-. v.::.or.. CMper. a.a. R&d­_
. MicI<ey 00I0nz. D. _ oncI C. -.. ().r Mctns.
teachers from ~ .,.,.,rby college
(fliled with guys) bea~ each
other"s brains 001 in our park·
Ing loti I think the edllor rnede
lho~ story up. anywey. Who'd
beli~ ~ c.ezy thing lik .. tha!?
Nolmel
Gel this: 'The Wiener'"
does n'l . even have e
photogrllpherl Do)lOU believe
tho!?1
Bu~ ~he funniest Ihlng tha(
eve. hoppened wll5 the w...k
thot ~he editor forgot 10 pro­of.
ead the lell ... ,..to-lhe-edi\ol
and one of he. very personal
letters got prinled in lhe paperl
Whota kughl
We ll. gotta go. Wrlle beckl
Okay?
LoveyaJ
Ann Nonimus
It , !rIk. . ..-.en out 01 ten I"'QPho ft/WY fi_fteetn> miynuLtes_.
GASP:
YOU Could Be Nancy Naz!
.. ,..T;E.
Do you suspect you. bt$t
friend or even yourself of s.uc­combingto
the lelest fashion In
people? Heve you ceught
yourself reltChlng for .the
Glamour. o. """,ndlng endlHs
hours onyou. nallswhllemun­ching
on a g.enola bar aod a
salad? &ewe ..... for lhe fev .... Is
ca(chino on she's all aroond
you. she's (gespl) NANCY
HAZ-NANCY
NAZ QUIZ
L '(our feshlon consists 01:
a)wo<k shirts. faded Levr., hlk·
Ing boots. no brassi""e
b)Carroll Reed monogrammed
sweal .... Calvin Kl .. in j .... ns.
clogs. maldenlorm brllSSle ....
c) knee-Iength cotlon dresses.
penny lo~fe rs. Seers
bodysheper
2. Yoo halr-elOre rltuells:
a)wash'n' wellr
b) s h~mpoo , condition.
blowdry, curl with e lectric
rollers end eurling I.on. bar·
retles, ribbons. combs. etc.
c) wash. sel. sil under dryer.
pulllnlO Ilghl ponyt8!1
3. The magazines you mQ$\
like 10 read ere:
~) NeIl"",,1 Lampoon. Rooling
SIOrle.Ms..
b) Pleygi.l. Gillmou •. VogUO!
c) Hallequin Romances. Ladies
Hom .. Journal. Nellonal
Geographic
4. The rmoln loplc of YOU' con-veJ"
Slltions a .... :
a) Hurmon .... 1~lionshlp", cor>-
servOlion. politics
b)Clothes. Fisher ""men"". f.el
partit$
c) high school leachers. Deer
Abby. homewo.k
5. What musicdo you listen to?
e)G.eteful Deed. Yt$. Jeff .. rson
Airplane
b) Bee Gees. Villege People .
eo.,~
c) The Osmond Brothers. John
Denve •. Shown Cessidy
6. Whet do youdoon Sunday$?
a)go 10. II welk(smoke) on the "'. """ b)try to gel up for djn~r
c)go to church. the to LRC
7. Voor hero Is:
e) G.ace Slick
b)Cheryl Teiggs
c) Mllmabel Morgan
8. Whet ch8no<:terlstk:s do
like in men?
liberalism. IICIlvlsrn.
1"111
g. Aft"" you g.eduate you plan
m,
~) Ii"" In a commune In ~
Su •. rIIlse hamslers
b) get married .• alse 2.2 kids
c)become a Hbranen. knll mlt·
tens for Alaskan pipeline
wo.kers
10. Whal excuse do you U5'"
~ you miss e homework
assignment?
e) I didn't w~nt 10 hove a Iree
give up it.s life for e homeworI<
assignmen~
b) I didn'l wanl to WIlSie ~
te&Chers lime with II poorly
done assignment.
c) Miss e homewo.k assign·
menO~
11. Whal Is your definition of
the WOJd "head"'~
a) the feeling you gel afier
smoking some gold
b) something you give 1 ...... ly
.when you gel drunk ~t fr~t pa •.
ties
c) lhe good thing on you.
shoulders thol everyone com·
pllments
12. Would you reoomment Na.
10 your baby siste.?
a) no. r d seod her ~o Geneseo
b) yt$. she's 16 aod a real (een ,-" c) l"m en only child
SCORING: A·l polnl.
poin(s, C·5 points
0·11
you' .... ~
,,_,,_:;-.. ,. you're e
"ThIngs were rMlly cooking
all night." ..,id Mary. "II was
~n better thon la51 )lCfJr's,at
the HoIidlly Inn." Mell~ wish·
ed 10 thonk the decoration
<:ommillee. who did a
wonderful job with the tmpIy
ket<:hup bollies and used
nepklR$,
The theme ~ for this
)lCfJr'. prom was "Somewhere
Over the Rainbow Sherbet··.
'Only Too Happy To Serve Youl'
The song edlOtd O""r lhe
counter oil night long. while
<:oupies dllfI«d and dipped lill
ol!l105t II p.m. Other musk
was providedby lhe<:ourlesyol
radk> station WMJ(J and Scors
. ond Roebuck, who lenl the
Junior dass a pocket Iran·
s lstOf,
Tickets for the entire
marvelous evening were only
$3.49 plus~, and Induded on,
SAGA Horsing Around
by Gary l&t>aJe
1\ was reveafed on March J I
thaI Saga Food Servia has
pI.Irchlosed a horse farm In
Syracuse. Thc farm c:onlalos
over ten dozen horses ond Was
pai d lor by Soga ' Iasl
September.
Saga .... istant manager Jim
F""".es claims that as fa ro, he
knows, the food service bought
the surplU$oIhosses for Invest·
ment pI.Irposes only: "I wa..,,·1
hete when we bought iI, oot
o,.,ve (Ma""""lIhouse) lold me
that there', 10 lot 01 money In
Ihot business and I know he
wll$<1'l horsing oround. Ha. hlo.
good pun, huh? Gel II?
Anyway. we can buy ond sell
hosses for rodeo, and ranches
and thing. like that:'
There has been speculotion
among NoUlreth studenl5 that
Saga hlos been serving horses
for ~Is. Student President
Denise '"Double,luff' area
:ll>ld. ""The hamburgers hlo""
ta.ted lunny thl' )lCfJr. and
horx melII 10 edible. Put two
and lwo togtlher_s..g.. serves
mul. ond they own
horses-we might be consum·
Ing Ihf:m. I don't mind It,
myself.- continued Miss are<>,
-but yikes!. a lot of kids ~re
Krtt ......... ps up nrsl s too..,
atSAQA Wffi
angry and ere !>«oming
vege tables_no I meen
""9"lItri~"'. Anyway. gollygee
whilllkcrs. maybe the whole
thing should be Investig<lted.·
s..g.. •• outgoing maoager.
Deve Mexwellhouse. who will
soon be relocating to Missouri,
denies thot the horx form has
enything to do with the food.
"Ifs all a lot of horsesh_! If
these kids would grow up and
. top complaining about
everything. there wouldn't be
so ml>Ch commotion."
Hot Time
In The Old
Town Tonight!
by Glom Steifta,a
On Suodlly C\I'efling. APrIl
1st. two hundred Nalllreth
<:OUj)Ies whiled eway on en­chant~
evening lOt ""'" 01 Pitt·
aford', finUI
eSlablishment-Bill Wa hl s.
The <><:CfIssion was Nazareth's
Junior Prom 79. Dence <»
<:halrman Mary Hot e nd
Mell~ Dog ",Iishcd the "P'
ponunity to comment on their
huge suttess.
L
,
open'<:OUnter all night. Some
of those who tired 01 dIIo<:lng
slipped away to the semi·llt ia
Cream <:ounter. but weft'quk;k.
Iy SC«>ped bock into the crowd
by Sister Snoopburge; •. 00fiClal
d~n<:e chaptron ,ince 1929.
Other <:oupie. resoned to
moonllghl ~tro ll. post the
dumpster and the adjacent !1M
stlllion.
Ray Burger ond Sue Buns
"",,,,nemed King~ndQucenof
the Prom. Till'}' were es<:o01ed
to 0 giant motorlled Ireo<:h fry ,
which circled the room. while
hloppyonlookers "9fink1ed the
<:oupie with .... 1t and ketdlup.
As closing lime approached
<:oupics began 10 drift out: IIlrl.
Cont'd. from Page 1
Bora Bora
WllS I to know the leke was
plrooah Infested? n..:re' was
JUst thi$ funny looking sign in
some strange language on the
lake shore. I nod no IdeDll"
Funer~1 services for the 12
studenl5w111 be held tomorrow
" t "'"'" In the Alma Mater
chapel. Thc lemmings will
mlgrale rlCXt month in spite 01
the 10$$,
dUlching their pickle and· let.
luce oorsages to be pr~ In
scrapbooks. their dIItes pr0ud­ly
bra ndishing engrovtd freo<:h
fry forks.
The dance had some hloppy
memorle. for everyone,
Psychology Club president
Oralia Flxalion replied, "For
me It WllS the .traws. 1 Just love'
sudtlng on them:' There WII.
""'" minor oomp!oinl however.
From Page l:
Jerry Crude did nol like the at·
rrw;r.spherelll Wohl •. -When 1110
out I like to let loo.eand hlovc 0
good lime. Theotrno<spherew ...
100 formal fOf me. 1 fccl stined
by all thl. fine living."
Next )lCfJr". chairmen hope
to dupllcale lhe tremendous
suttess of 1979. Suruiestions
for 1980 10001ude: NlckT3hous.
Wegman's ond the Kearney
cofeteria.
Lanes
munity for the past 25
years-beceuse nat enough
people are U$ing It?
When osked her views.
Junior Judy Campony pro­claimed:
"Are you kiddlng?To
Summer Plans
te ll you the truth. I didn't even
know we had bowling alleys;
besides. I don't bowl. However,
I do fccl .tuclen" should stlel<
up for their right .... Ms. Cam·
pony is nat the only student In
thedllrk about ourpin pllghton
c a mpu$. Undergraduale
senetor. Naocy Conway w ...
equally startled by the news:
M..ny interesting courses
hlove been planned lor ~ sum·
mer session here at Nalllreth
College. Among them w!ll be:
Res. 783 TIlE HISTORY OF
TIlE HABIT. The history of the
nun', habit. from lhe orlgioal
Eoster to lhe present will be
discussed In Ihl. informative­sounding
semioa'. Also to be
diKtl:l$ed are the effects of
history on the hlobit. and the ef·
fects of the habit on hi!llory.
T~ughtbySr. M.A. Jerk. $4.67
credit,
Bk> 9!l91l1E BEttA VIOROF
THE UTHUANIMI SPOTTED
i.E.MMINCi. The lifeol the lem·
mingo including the sex life 01
thiS enimal will be taught. In­cluding
a r,eld ulptoAlaslul to
wOlch lhe mass suicides 01 the
tiny beasts. Taught by Dr.
Gilligan Halfoman. .00003
cr~Its .
Soc, 000 FEAR AND
LOATHING ON THE
NAZARETH CAMPOS. Major
oo<:lal problems of the
NalIIreoes. lIS well as thei'
polit<:al views and se~ual
mores. to be discussed. 0·
peri""'"ts to be conducted on
all studenl5 refusing 10 take lhe
cours ... Taught by Dr.
Slowpoke. 112 credits. Guest
lectures byldi Amin,JimJones
end Adolph Hitler.
Allin all. It promises to be a
very ed"""llonal SUmmer here
at our hallowed hloll, of higher
edl>Cation. Si1!n up soon. as
courses arc rapidly filling .
For more Inlormation. see
President Kl Ile,la, If you <:an
fond him anyo.rhcre on campus.
"Bowllng laoes? We don'lha""
bowling alleys!"
Are you onather pointy
headed intellect""l. unwilling
to bowl .. few ott, to keep our
price less alleys In good bowl·
l"!l order? tiD"" you n et
vi . it ed the bDSement of
Med<oille? Do you care that
a nother 5Iudent lodllty will be
closed because you spend your
C\I'efling . .. t~ko·s?lfindetd
OUr bowllfl!lolleys are boarded
up. _al thi"9' may hloppcn:
many 01 the 5Iudenl5 on work·
study ... iII lose their jobs; St.
Polly Pios willlwl"" to retum to
raking Ic.!rves ot the Mothet
I1ouse: and SCOres of Senior
(iti,ens we..rlng ..... akers will
be roaming the streets 01 Pitt­""
ord. with nothing to do.
Graffittist Nabbed For Public Defacement
NaUlreth. thl. i.a call to &e.
tlonl Show your support and
Join In the- forces to keep aur
laoes open. Hours are posted
opposite the boiler room in Ihe
basement of Medaille Nail. and
.. everyone is welcome. A ~,,,,ple
flashofyourveryownNa ' reth
1.0. will enable you te nowl
away your lunch how, or . rro­.
v.e. .th lot ol"'thy I. .. thing OJ the
by Los. Laae
On SIIturdey. Marcil 31st. a
Nazareth College Student was
orrested by the new NeUlreth
Securitr Force for the deface­ment
0 the tunnel. which run
beneath the college campus.
The studcni W,," nabbed wtlile
genunCdlng beneath the air
venl. lnearrcst wasthecllmax
01 a new security program
staned to deDI with the graffiti
O'pidemlc. The entire length of
these underground tunnel.
hlo"" been defaced with dirty
saying., words, oames. draw·
Ings, and <:\lit symbol. , As of
tomorraw, Magic Markers. the
main tool 01 the greffitlS!. will
not be sold at the NalIIreth
CampusStore to " n)'O"" under
21 yearsofoge. AnyofM! who l.
<:aught supplying 0 minor with
these Implements will be or·
rested ond 5ubject to a fine and
jail senleo<:e, Thc student or·
.... ted faces dJarges 01 pI.Iblic
defacement ond will be
sentenced up 10 two semesters
at the fourth floor Me<taille
Crime Word. TlIc Nal Security
Force Is hoping to track down
the rest 01 the student of·
fenders through lhe USC 01
hlondwritlng aoalysi, . studenl
Con!'d. on Page"
(Bowling ball. ore av~:' .. bl"
for your con""nie""" and
shoes rented at a nomi",,1 fee.)
Soft Drink
Attacks
Sr. Chlorine
h". -ErIc .Cume>a
"I was Just walking b!K:k 10
my room, ... ~n all the sudden
this big humongous pig
Jumped In front of me and
doused me with II pitcher of
warm Mountain Dew: explflh'·
ed Sisler Chlorine Water afte,
she wes assui!ed last Friday
night. '~n he pushed me to
the ground and tried to shove II
whole .Ix pock of Pepsi Into my
mouth. Lu<:klly. he only got
one clln In when officer Sum
h;ry,~"",. ·
n... a ttacker, "fte, he was
brought \0 ~ofti>e Security
Fmc,, ' Mr. V..cle, and Inter·
fogaled, wal found to b! II
Nllza,dh student. Sophomo~
Terry SoIree! ... 1lS enragt'd over
the "$1%· :lOde rrwo<:hlne in the
maihoom taking my money
agllin. ThD!'s a\ leM! $.90 J'Y<! ""'t. and I suspect Sr. Chlorine
I. making II bundle from the
IY'>ItChlnes.··
A mo~ te!e~ Mr. Scared
later admilled to "beating the
hell out oflhe P~I Machine"
at lo-.38p.m. on Friday, Merch
30. He then_ .talked Sr.
Chlorine. who was ~umil'\g
from Burger King. Armed with
the six pock of Pepsi aod con·
tiline. of warm Mountain Dew,
Mr. Scared IMped on her,
Arresting officer Fairy
charged . Mr. Scared wllh
"crlmll'lOl abuse with inlenl lo
kill a soda madllne" and
"assaull with a deadly P~i
Cllll:' The \9-year.o kl )'OO1h
pleaded gUilty 10 aU ctlarges
and wllS lei loose on $600 ball.
Sr. ChlorlnewlISoot hurt too
badly,
No Keys Needed in Kearney
In a meeting with the Ckaner
editorial board laSI ~k, the
director of housing announced
thai Kearney Hall will be IUrned
intoa 1960'sstylecommunein
the fI,ll. The doors will be
removed from a ll rooms and
the faculty hou"" will be torn
down 10 provide land for ral,.
Ing horses fa.- SAGA use, ac·
cording 10 the housing dl~·
,~.
''The kids are always com­...
1~lnlllg .. bout 'he vlSIt~tlOf1
hours anyw"y," said the H.D ..
"so _ decided to give them
whet they w"nt. Theonly ruleal
the Kearney commune will be
tlml students must work on the
horse farm, or In lhe pig stys."
When asked aboUI her
..,ference to pig stys, the H.D.
told US that the third Hoar will
be turned Into a combination
swine farm and
slaughterhouse. "It's already e
pig sty, 50 it will be an usy
cl>longeover,"!he said.
Th" F"",,,,I 10u"\jC will
become the s~ping area, and
the rooms wi ll become studios
for Incen""making, candle­!
NIklng, and ma<:rame.
"I think Ifs a wonderful
1<Iee-a good wey 10 get Into
rea lily" said one Kearney resl·
dent, "the new sleeping ar·
rengement will be l<leel for
group """, end olher forms of
free love. Beside., rei.lng
hDfsn for SAGA will sure beat
going to cla»esl At leGst !NIke
a good excuse for ell lhe
IlUIn..wurk we n',ve' bother to
do .. :'
Estimated Price of Fear
At Two Million Dollars
b,..J, Olaen
"'Fear, f ear of this omcewlll
keep the students In line," said
Mr. Vader, Director o· Prote<:·
Uve Se"'kes. al r: ..... reth.
"We'.., ch.onglng our motto
from 's.. ....... Gulde-Prot""j" to
'Seek·out·and-de.troy·:· Vader
said as he introduced the new
Security fo=.
The clmnge is brought ebout
efter seve flll ""mester! of un·
controllable'vandalism, thefl
and fal"" fire alarms. Vader
said, .. nd added thet the
change is backed tOllllly by the
administration.
Vader hilTl3elf, Eac:h officer will
be equipped with a .345
magnum and ~ ""ts of hand·
cuff. and each will be issed a
lighl saber, which V..o.,r relus·
ed 10 describe, clling securily
_M.
The new Security Depert·
ment will be moved to fourth
floar MedGilie Hall, where 22
rooms will be cOn~rted to
holding cells. The new security
phone number will be unlisted
Md 00 inner·dorm phone will
be instal~. 'Thl. will p~nt
people colling on unimportant
mllllers; lockoul$, fires and
such," Vader explained.
Vader ..,id thai visitation Isa
big problem and will be dealt
wilh by Instoiling securlly
cl>meraslnevery-room. "I don \
feel thai ifs an Invasion of
privacy:' Vader said. ''The
cameras will only be on al
night,"
Vader reversed an earlier
decision about the lights out III
9 o'clock rule, when he found
that It Jed 10 only more van·
dallsm and Il>lot it rendered the
cameras useless. Instead, all
.li.g ,hl s will rerTlolnon24 hoursa
"I don'l feel the studenlswlll
mind the cl>longes," he said In
closing ... After all, they asked
for it:'
Service With
A Smile?
Czompus ministry, fonnerty
thought to be a relilltous
organization III Naareth Col·
lege, waS busted by the
Rochester Vice $Quad 1M! week
after receiving an anonymous
lei"""""" tip lIS the largest
prostitution ring in the
Rochester area. Evidently the
Vice squad received iU tip-off
last Week from the Mother
SlIperlor.
SUll "Subbles"
r
II
"
II
ler\i]lhy Iinelorllbrary m Irrors
Lorette Wilmont:
across the country! Then the
Mob had to gel In on II, and
things gal a IIl1leoul of tland.1
think _ gal CIIught because
"'" mlwed a pay-off. Those
guys don'l """'" around, )'00
know."
The Campus Ministry was
known In underworld drcles"s
'!he girls 9f the nunnery', pr0-
bablye \.IIke-offon lhe religiOUS
atmosphere here al Nautreth,
"We wouldn't tIa~ lipped
lhem off:' SIIld an unidentified
source, "except lhey ",e,e get,
ling sloppier all the time aboul
paying US off, And believe you
me, they could alford Itl They
we.., grossing oYer 1,000,000
-do.ll-ars a month, Cheap bit, The "glrls" will be returning
to the campus In 5-10. Or as
soon as they come up for
perole.
Good For Something
b,.ADneT .... ~
Many new ond useful
f&ellitl ... a.., offered by lhe new
eddltions 10 the loret te·
Wilmont Ubrary. forexampie,
It now hold. two elevators, a
photogrophy lab, a complele
oudlo visual service, and en
enlarged 0 ..... r", perfodicals.
It Is part of the lunnel
system . . However, Ihe ac·
cornodot'oo used more then
eny other Is !he gla5ll.wolled
area that adjoins the !NIln en­trance,
II Is Intended for 1. . le
night studying, but lhat Is not
why It Issopopular and useful,
The gla511 wall. renee! one's
Image excellenlly In the
cIlryHght, especially in bright
sunlight. Not a soul can pass
wllhoul \.liking e glance at their
own renectlon. It !NIy look voln
oreven humorous lothosewho
ale Inside the reading area: but
when they're outside, It's a dif·
ferellt story.
"I elways use the "",II. 10
slyle my hair when my
suitemllte. ere using both
balhroom plugs,"' said one
junior. One fresh"""n added,
"When I pass the library, I CIIn
teJllf my colors milich, or If I'm
a mess and should go home
and ch.onge, It's nice to know
that lhe Irbrary Is of personal
valUl' In ell sorts of ways. Ex·
cuse me, while I go the.., to re­apply
some make-up:'
"Ifs time _ get tough,"
Vader said e. he unveiled one
of t"" new alr·cooled sub
m&ehlne guns thai will be pIac.
ed In O'Conoor, 'Thls JTIOd<tI
wu a 101 Cl'IOfee~pensi~, but It
c .. n take CIIre of almost twice as
ml>ny Iresp .. ssors in one
round," he added.
Just What The Students
Need To Get Them Back
Ye., It'. ePPl'rent the! the..,
sre no objections 10 the recent
additions to the llbr .. ry. And
until the folks Indoors com·
plain, we con proclaim thaI the
library Is good fa.- something:
whether we bother to step in­side
or oot.
Conl'd. From
Page 3
Other newequipment wil! in·
clude;
'machi"e gun lurrelS on
t{e"rney ~nd Lourdes H .. lls. .
'Iwo "Huey" interceptor
helicopte rs.
'Iwo armored personal
vehicles and on.: ~ Sher·
!NIn \.link.
• 15 ca..." of tear gas and 21ear
gas guns.
lncluded in Ihe budget,
which 1m, been estimaled at
two mill'oo dollar., are new
securily uniforms, and in.
dlviduallire .. rms designed by
by Eric (" - rm ".0
More and rna,... " ldents
I>love started to spen<' ' >$I of
IheIr time at Checl.. ~ . - so
much time, in fact.lrn-I I've
grossly ""91ee!ed thell ~ . ~:;o- S.
SuI there exists a te&eher O!
Nautreth who Is conee",,'"
with studenls-a leacher wr ,
spends exIra time and is In·
terested Inevery member of his
every class. This professor is
the wluy Dr. Aj&>l Sudsyl .. nd.
Dr. Sudsyl .. nd. reasoning
that ,I .Iudenls can't come to
class, 'len the closs can come
to the ~ udenls. ,. has developed
8 newcourse 10 fillhesltuallon:
"'Sar Rhetoric 262." Studenl$
cen now leam the Int,leacy of
rhetorically Interacting with
other people in crowded
p\&ees, •
"Sar Rhetoric 262" I. good
forthree credits, and the lab fee
is SSO. Classes will be held III a
table In lhe back of Checko'.
and students will be required,
"mong other Ihings, 10 induce
a tolal stranger imo buying him
three round. or Old Crow, In
one dass period, tolking the
""'rtender Inloglving thewhole
lass a fOUnd 01 Michelobe on
the house, a naly.tng the
rhetoric of <:erIaln poems and
prose on the balhroom wa lls,
and ""lIing a beer bottle ClIp to
a sober patron, Forlhefil'lOl ex·
am, the student must use his
best rhetoric to \.IIlk his woy In·
to a light with a drunken
ogre-at lust 6'4"' and 290
pounds, then use even better
rhetoric to IlIlk his w .. y out of
the fight.
Dr. Sudsylond feels that this
.:ourse Is "just what Ihe
"udents need togetlhem back
into lhe swing of goIng to
Com'd. on P,ge 4
When questioned on lhe
malle ', Ihe college
psychlalrlst , F. Roidman
stated, <'The gramtisl is a
notoriously decadent per·
sonality with shades of sexlual
repression hidden by a stub­i>
9rn super..,go, whieh in tum is
covering up lor an undefined
Id:'
.... 11 members of the can ,pus
heve been asked 10 keepencye
on all blank sp!>Ces-ani!NII,
vegetable, or olherwise-and to
inlorm your ""arby Security
Trooper of any susp;c,ously
marked Index fingers.
AJortIIO, I91'9 CLI!AftER _5·
STORPS: Kriteria ,Buys Lakers 'Just For Fun'
catch • IooItI.II , , ,
Ga
1I,. Gar,. Laaale
I'm skkand tlredohcertaln
problem on c.mpus. This I.
IOII'oelhlng that's been bother,
Ing me slnce I SWled odIooI
here eIGht years ago. There Is
1'>0 need for this diternn>.-the
-spo'r.u~ ooukIeasily rm .£faring to the wIIite
posts on the....:cer rotld. or the
IIO'CoItled "athletic rotld." How
<;an students be athletic on •
field to clefllC.'ed by these white
ext~ that look like gl ... t
croqutl ... lck~?
Rumor has It that they are
~ goalposts. but if this Is
t",,=. then ... he.e are the ntU?
Who ...... 15 to score a goal. or
even try to 1C'ote. knowing throt
the ball ... iII bound .. good
dlttanc:t .. w.y. whether you
make It or miss? And besides.
1'>0 one around here even plays
~.
If no one pl.!tys soccer, you
are probably asklng, what. tv.p.
ptnI on the athletic fltId;> The
__ It: toftbalL And these
willie posts don't tnIIM: It easy.
How C&I'I you keep your eye on
the ball ... Ith the dlstradlng
white in the backgl'llUrlCftl
Football Is also played on
,,_ ...... tial.aro:th PresIdent 80bby
fujterill toct.v bought the LoI
Angeles Wen Tn ... un-precedented
move. It ... as •
spur-of·lhe-~I Ir.1\JK"
lion ... ithout much thought or
rea..,., behind II. The following
Int~fVlew explains Krlttrl.·s
I09k,
Cleaner: Why ~actly did
you buy the LoI Angeles
taken?
KIlleN, Well. 1 Just though!
liwouldbtf ..... r"ulwll)'l
like Kareem AbduI.J.bt>w
end I think he'd look good
Inl'tala<eth~.
~ the Laken_""
fo< SII~, end oomebody had
to buy them: why not us?
's Gutter
10 the field, my eyes are al ... 11)'1
dtll...., to the bright white, thus
praenr.lng. ~bIe acdcIent.
The IOIuIIon to thII problem
Is simple: the IpOf\I depart,
ment should start • push to
rT1O¥e one 01 the buildings,.
preferably Smitty Hall. not to
the giant croq..et wickets. Thl.
way. the posts would be so
cloot 10 the building that they
wouldn't be harming anyone,
And • IIt\II .thletlc "eld,
wi t hout thue u nnatu. al
h .... "ts. con be harvuted
....... re Smllty Holl ... as.
To get Irrvnecllale llClion on
this serious problem, I wen!
tlw.tlothetop;~,SlIIN
SmtIlawasn'tln. So I coiled the
next head hondIo. ~
Bobby Kriterla, on;! whrot did 1
get from him? ~yI He told
"'" not 10 bother him wlth$l.lCh
trMaI tnlllltf'S. Small wonder
as to why No ... reth .. drowned
In apMhy. our praIdent Is full
ollt, too.
Per h.ps thl , cutting
edltorlol .... 111 get to Krlttrl •. but
then agoln, I don'l lmagJne /Mod
~r himself to re6dlng the
CL.£ANER Andlgutstl'llhave
~~~:~;~~~~; .. 10 keep runrolng Into the white . -.
a, Where did)'OU come ""
with the funds you .-ted
to buy this mult~mlllion
dc:>Ila. operation?
Kr. SometJmes , 0I0I1ege has
to do thlngl that cIon'l
1001< liM: good fI'lOvtS 01 nrst
but .. fieri while. people lien
to reolize their worth. Thlill
ont of thole CIlStt, ,rod I
though!. ..
CI, Where did )'OU gel the
Kr." A" "o"d"Io oI has to look fo<
.w.i.1..a.t everwill help It moM, 0: Where did the tnOr'II!)' come 'ro .. " Kr. Well. ''''1)'. 1 had to rabe
tuition. little, as well as.
lew ~SSIonI .. oo.rnd
~
CI, Can you glve some dttolls?
Kr. All right; there ert Just •
lew mlnltnllllna~ We
Just tlI!sed room .rod board
to 116.580 per fUr. whldl
I think Is reasoneble.
CI, s 16.580 for room and
board? Throf. tldlculousl
Kr: It will be worth It. Just
think ot .11 the people who·11
tum out to ....... c:h Kareem
Slulf the boll lr;l the 80.000
capociIygymnaslum rm
bUIlldlng-the Bobby
KrIterio foom.
0, INhIt will )'OU do with the
old YlIrsity leam?
Kr. They'll pIIy Junior "arslty.
n,..tak~ore. bit bettN.
rd say.
CI, Dots lhe purdlaslng ot the
lIrkers have onythlng 10 do
Pur-cba_ Pot:
with the .-.t ~of
ptic:es by 25 ~t In the
book lIore and clgorrtttes
<:hangIng to $2. pock?
Kr. Yes. but the team I've
bought ... iII be worth II.
CI, Whot tnIIkes you thInk the
lIrktrswili all be eligible
to ponldpot~ In the college
~?They'ytoll gtllduated.
Kr:Ummm, Idldn't reaUythlnk
01 that. 1 just ~ ...
CI, Voo.r·yt ass.umed. wrong, no
college division will allow
them to play.
Kr. ~ OUI' college couldgo
.."
0, 1t·,obvIousy<:oJ've made.
mbtekt In this IW'o<>ranI­business
deel. This will
make quite I story for lhe
,."...
Kr. Oh 1'>0. it wool,lf you print
any of thll. ru _to It that
y<:oJ'", expelled. 19WN the
CLEANER. Get out ot here
,rod II you .... ""1 to graduate ·
lrom Nazareth. bum tv'II!ry
word I said.
In • colncl~tol ItOf)'.
N1weth'servo!lment.lor 1980
figures dropped by 9MO. lIS a
teCOfd .........t>er 01 lluOMu
have transferred. And fo< the
flnt time in f'iauIteIh history
(asot thia...ming). there will be
no Incoming freshmen.
Kritetla feell this hu nothing
to do with his tripling tuition to
enable him to buyo probuket,
ball Iranchlse, ~It·s merely'
\rend-a slow yur lor college
kids. rm .... re It'll lnaea""
agoln In the future."
Somethin' For
Io)'k8Uo,.a._
PrornpUy .fter the ltgIU ....
Ilonof motrIj ..... juII tWo short
~ ago. -.dIng nwoc:hInea
have $pI'\fI'Ig "" aU _ the
tlnIted States 101 ... I"credibly
high IlIte of speed. Naureth
has not beeIl left GOA, to the
delight 01 gl'ClUf'S 01 Jludtou
whodleered as moc:hlnea wert
Inst.lIlltd In the mall room and
lheSllullsCenter lost Tuesdlry.
When asked about the nation­...
Ide wccess of the machlnea,
Mr. ""'o""r let Glutton of con­*
lIidated AtnIIlgatnllted Ven­dotl.
Inc. replied, "Sales
could.,.! be higher, .nd for
some strange tNSOn, the<e has
been I tremmdotls boost In
$t\ICk food saIe:o as well."
for those who haYen'l lIftr'I
one 01 the moc:hlnea. they look
t.<IICIly like regular dglretle
1nIChines, with the exception
01 the contents and their bnorod
~
And speaking of brands.
the.e·s somethlna for
everybody. How al>out Rolled
Gold orCOtumbloGtnu IOf \he
quallty'seekJng IndiVidual who
... 111 settle for nothJng but the
very best? wt.... you're In I
hurry to get off. try f.st Grass
1)1 Gold Rush. PeopIt with
"
r-'------"","
In Reuiew •••
Let This Group Be
(ThIs Is the first 01 B. Tull 's
record revl~. rull$ls an ~vld
music fen and stays 00 lop of
the music:: world by reading
TEENBEAT and DISCO
WEEKLY. his views are his
own. and ~n though they're
usUlllly OCCUlIte. they do not
r~nect the feelings of the
CLEANER.)
by B. TUII.
MEET TliE BEA TLES Is
i1erlllded as oneol thle be$1 .-.
albumsloday, bUllhis must be
contested. On thealbum COY8 .
the Beatles lI,e billed liS
·phenor-nenel.~ but !Mlcan"! be
referring to their music-It
Sllnk$.
There Is rIO COI"Ia:ivable way
thai this foursome could ever
mIIke it big. They even look
lunny-lhei, Noi. is short and
neal. lhey lire wearing old­fMhion
pointy boots. and they
MV" weird shirt 0011111'5 and
str"i9ht·l~ pIInts.
BUllet'scon!Iider themusic:
lIthe Beutles hope toeve,,,,,m
II lasting Imp~ion, they'll
I»~ to OV<!,l»ul tI>eI' sound,
The first song on the LP Is II
lame eKCUSI! lor a single: "I
Want To Hold You, Hllnd" Is a
new style-rock 'n' mil, II. they
Cllil it. It Is this Iype 01 music
thllt goes agllinst the popular
and umouchllble disco musk,
whkh Is invul""",ble, "I Want
To Hold Yo.., Hand" Is very
fo'geullble, lind II big ' eason
forthllt I. be<:ausethe 1y.-lcSII,e
so juvenile lind immlltu",. It
was written by the song·w,iter
tellm of bllssist Pllul McCllrt.
ney lind gulta,ist John lennon.
who wrote 10 of the LP's 12
'"~
leIId gultllrlst Geoo-ge Har·
rison, sornewhIIt of II . dark
horse, wrote one song, but it
WIIS IlICklng something, On
"Don't Bother Me," you can
Ilear Hllrri"",,'s gulta' gently
weeping, but his wallet will be
weeping if he keeps writing
so"r-' thl. empty of texture, As
you ,e lI.tening to "Don't
Bother Me", you',e glad that all
things must 1""": it's IIbout as
inte resting as lin old brown -. There Is II p<llr of silly love
songs on the LP, 'This Soy"
lind "All My Loving," whlchll'"
llimost good, Bul Lennon and
McCartney seem to need help
In milking their lyrics lind
mush:: come together
smoothly,
"I SIIw He.e Stllnding There"
is a rocker in the vein of "I Want
To Hold Your Hand: lind it is
Illso Junk, As the record DIlly.
on, you're wondering II the
songs wlll be get\lng beUer,
But then you hea,"Utt leChlld"
lind "Hold Me Tight" lind you
know the Beatles have II lang,
winding road 10 ,,".dom,
The Beatles' mIIln fllult Is
their Insistence on II revolution
concemlng todlly'smuslc.1iow
<:ould IInyone jX>SSibly think
thai rock 'n' roll could ever
have a lasUng effect? If the
Beatles want to succeed, they'll
have to get bllck 10 the bllsics of
the lovably montonou. disco
beat,
Lennon, McCllrtney. Har·
rison, lind drummer Ringo
Sum fooIaround with 100 much
diversity_don't they know
thlll people like heIIrlng lots of
pounding bliss and drums lind
repelllive lyrics? With II little
lUCk, they might sell II few
MEETTHEBEATI.ESlllbums,
bul most people will Justlet this
group be.
The CLEANER PHOTO CONTEST Where is This?
A Bar Siool in the Pub? The Taj MahaI? Your
House? A closet in the Motherhouse? II you think
you know the answer, sand il lo The ClEANER
c/o The GlEANER. The Ii'S! person with the right
answer gets to be the pholographef next year!
Try Nazareth NoniIg HonIe!
Storage r~ for reIi'8d
1'UlfI, 8dr:Ied ~ .n:I
len.red pro/esscnl
Me<Icare 8'ld Medicaid ..,.
",",,'
Nutrition !roo moaIsl
Medical curti avaIabIe at
.-tISI hoopitaI
lots ~ FA AI!rms
AN '" "<~~dO"'· .,""~ """
I Guess It Was
A.., . "G .....O. Od Movie Same Tune Next. y ...... Is
alouchlng story of II seemingly
incomp<ltlb!e couple who meet
lor a rendezvous ~ a year,
Both Elien Burstyn and Allin
Aida portrll}' people who are
happlly rTIIIrrled with kids, to
different p.:Irt"" ... Their IIffai,
IlISts for 26 )'Mrs and Is shown
in 5)'Mr Ime"'als, In between
these sc:enes blllck lind white
photosshowevenlS which have
been taking pllK:e, One scene I
p.:Irtlcularly liked WIIS when
Ellen shows up a hippie lind
Allin has gone conservative, I
was r .... lly getllng into II wllenll
WOfTWln In front of me started.
hittoughlng, Let me tell you,l
WIIS so lIMOyed tIvIt I changed
my seal. f3y Ille time I got selll·
ed again, DoriS was pregnant.
Confused, I turned to tile per,
son """Ito me to ask her about
From Paga 4:
Students'
Needs
<:IlIsses,"
Ajax also expresses hope of
more lIdvanced courses deal·
ing with bIIr.scenes, "U reallyi.
useful," he .... ys, "to know how
to utilize .Iletorlcally effective
diKOUrse In II place where your
life i. greally endangered,
Evenlually,l hope to see a rna,
jor program revolving around
this a.ea. It can lead to!lOl'Yle in.
teresting job possibilities."
the p.:Irts I had missed, and who
do you think II WIIS? Ja"" T,
lan, an old friend from· high
.school whom I !>adn't seen In
years, Irnaglr>e tlvltI We were
the best of f.lends in high
.school. The other kids called us
the '·terribl~ twosome," Ha hII,
the tricks we used to play on
people, Remember theold jelly
donut in the notebook trk:k?
And the fI'IIlShed potato warsal
lunch time? Smoking oot In
the parking, lot and getting
caught by the prlnclp.:ll? Jar>e
and I !>ad the best tIIlk We pro­mised
to go to our old hangout
under those golden arches to
munch on !IOI'Yle fri<!S lind gu~·
lie IIfew cokes,
By the time "'" we", done
tal king, the movie was over. I
guess It waSllgood ending, Alii
CIIn say Is I left the thelll", with
IIwarm f~ing InsidellndllJaw -.
Security
Uniforms: Just
Like New! Also'
service
revolver.
Check with Security
Ward In Medaille
Repel Rail To London
No frills, No Reservations, No Waiting.
Only $11,95 (one way)
Repel Rail assumes no respon­sibility
for anything. No refunds.
You must buy your ticket 364
days in adVance and be prepared
to depart anytime alter the 25 01
March. London destination not
guaranteed •

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Transcript

J d I"
t
Krlteda Sa,_1 'It'. Up To .... •
Bobby Building At Nazareth
..,.,J ....
1\ glglntlc ~ bulldlrl\! II
being ~n.octed on the
l"Ia.areth campus grounds
which will ellminatl! I lL other
bulldIngI Mel 11OCi11Ues. The
~ Bobby BulIdIna ~ wilL a.t III
estimattId flfty billion doIlats
IOnd will beoIIme the centr.1
building on o;.ompus.
eenterlng on the fltt that he
n.onlyone ~ l nhumlnel y tl ny~ """'.
Mock Elections Held
Designed by VIIQf"Id fl/TIOUI
... ;htec;ted. 1t will houM
50 bllketbell~, 43 pools.
17 stories of Ioeker rooms.nd
President ~rlterla's living
querters and personel mfr,
quertefll.
One 01 the meet lmprasI""
~ of the new building
will be the 1/8" mile high neon
IIign that tpelis OIA '"Bobby".
"Tbe Inltill.. Koelhood of Bohemian
Biracial Vocks" whofronted!he
flrst flfty dollars IOWlIrd con­stlUdlon.
lieodded thM. "only
the YlIineSl 01 people would put.
their own nlrne on the
bulldlng.~
Kriteria SIIId that !he rest 01
lhe money for ' construction
came from "flfty )'Mrs of
students~ .nd ". ""'Y lucky
break In the third race al
Bat"";a Down.. "
StUlients will have \.1M of the
moln lobby and two JP.IC\ous
claslrooms (9' • I'., on !he
lnth fIoo(, ItteISlble by the
outside fire escape. Student
~ will be In the :16 sub­basement
l~l, In f'OOI\'\I
designed by Mr. Vader, 0Ireesemenl 01 the
Shutt. Center had e turnout of
30';' of the SlI.Iden1 body.
These studenU must be com­I'I'lef>
ded on thelr,.rnool spirit.
even though most 01 them
dldn', know '-' to work the
12 Le •• Students:
voting rnadllne. end one st ...
dent had to ~ the IIlIme!I
read to him. as he hu trouble
with 'III'OI"ds with more thon 3 .. ,=
It. cemp.a poll ~~ that
most of the studefu did not
ca.eaboul theoff1c:ef1.. Krlterla
c:ornfnented, 1haI', euctJy
what I suspected. Thoey'nI! all
pussy· ... lmps. anyway."
"ConfidenUally. rye ordere:l
one gross of Karen Ann
OulnlAn ""'--l pb.n '" fill
the oIfk:es ~ 'voted' on with
lho!m !WId ke!!p the rflt for the
future tI$e- thaI way I can be
certain 1 don't get IIny nllCk
about my deased Los Angeles
Lake.-.. "We can't rely on lhe
Ithletlc teams to get UI on the
map; It's up to me.~
Jlossession of Illegal Paraphernalia
(UPI) Rochester. M.V._AU
the membert. 01 the 1'Ia1ireth
CoU~ Music Department
Wf!re . rresled )'6terday for
posItMlon of vaficus IIltgOl
paraphemaill.
Tragedy in Bora Bora
Acqul~ in the nlld at the
f'iIworeth Campuswere lengths
01 rubber I>o:>soe.large QI*1Ilties
of Vaseline petroleum Jelly .•
number of pairs of rubber
gloves. and O\'i!r 50 packets of
clgaretle rolling paper.
N .. areth College authofltles
would not comment on the in­cident
Sll)'lng theydid not have
the full poIlce~.
It,. kulett O'Han
The anlmol beMvior daa,
t.ugh! by Dr . QUllgan
llaLfaman. returned from ib
field trip to Bono Bor. Sundily
Iwlth 12 less students than II
IlUIrted out .. Ith. The class set
out II week ago to study the
Uthuenlan spOtted lemming In F ert back to Rochester,"
menteel Halfamon ... hen
e:e:e l the purpoee 01 the trip. did Halfaman know the
~lk;~~~; no bus IIvanabie on the day
planned to leave. n,., trip
I (W>ded by g"'nts from lhe .sss. the Humane SocI..ty of
«< ....... """'" .ned by the class through '''''''''. Sister Qrass. heod of the
department, expI out
togoaldnny-dlpplng In lhe lake
__ our campground and next Spults To Save Lives
lime I glanced CNef theff! was The State o.,p.lvatlon
nothing but 2412 bones ()eparunent 01 Environrnentll
f1oetlng; In the .... Ier. I kno.. Conse
!hot's how many becIux the day thai the Otto A. Spults
hWTlllJ1 body haJ 206 bones Center will SIMi! the II ..... of
and 206. 12 equel, 24n. I manYlnlmalslf ltls notmoved
Ogureel It out on the way back. 314 Inc:heI to the.....stoflts pre-
Inmyheld,evenlArryqy.how sent location. Nar.ar..!tw PresI·
ConI'd. on '"- 3 dentKriterla.....slnformedthal
AptItb,. At All n-HIgII:
Lose Our Lanes?
""H..netto."~ N.azareth 1$ once again In
dangef of losing one of Its
".-.. ...... - foclllties; and noane Is doing a
thing about it!
"Student apathy II .t an all
time high: MY. Sr. Polly 8.
PIJ"I$. full·lime director of the
Medallle.lleys.··AfuI1 21Ianes
of bowling and the only group
that ever used the pI~ II the
Pittsford SenIor Citizens Club.
So now we are going to hove to
close because of 1Ick of use!~
When liked .my she thought
Nauorelh "uden\.s do not bowl
on campus, Sr. p-,." offered,
"'111ere aff! too many pointy
headed Inlellectual types
around here. Everybody IsJUII
100 tcp/"Ilstlcateel to enjoy an
oIdfnhloned~ofbow!lng.
Students Itt IS though the
bowling l.nes don't even
ex i stJ ~
Aff! "udents .... re Wf! m'9h1
lose this Htablishment which
has served the Natarelh com­Cont
·d.on p~ 3
the lIulldlt\!l borders the
rnIgratoQ$ 05 they collide .. lIh lhe
Spults Center and tum them
loose in Kearney Cafeteria?
ThaI would be Just IS effect,,,,,
II the propooed cliff.leaping
and • lot cheIper."
StUlients Involved in ' he .ald
SllIeI they used the , .. Ious
ooo
Rochester Polk .. Department
say a similar such raid Is pI.N>­ed
In the near future for the
Eastman School of Musk, •
departmentofthe (.InI""rsllyof ..... ~.
ibamEI
H .... ' I YOII "III ......-. -....
Just A Bunch of Shit I
Thought I'd Get Off
My Mind .. .
rrS R£ALLY UNFAIR
·the! ~ have to suffe, forthe
fools down in Ha lT~rg. PA
have dono:' with their pow. It ~ms
the .... is an outside groop hos
scheduled their fund rei sing
,c.a .m paign for the same night
AIft'T IT A 8HA11lE
·thot we might loose our bowl·
Ing ell~ in Medalll .. bece ..... of
the leek of student ~w~reoess
In such n~ faeW college! It's C!llIed
Bethlehem College of
Rochester (Mlnr>esol"~ 1",1
lhilt a ooincidence? It's a
Catholiccollege thlltused lobe
lor WOI'TOef1 only. Now they lei
guys Inl Woop;';" WhDt hunksl!1
My favorite ~rt is WOI'king
on tile college newspa~r. It's
aoiled ''The Wiener," I guns
the name has something to do
with rat hairs or Insect plllU,
I'm not sure.
Anyway. this peper Is a real
joke: Only lour dumb ~.
and the hardest news ilemslIli
semester was when Iwo
Chris Spouts Off About Cl. s . Day :
CLOSED
FORUM
It·, thot time 01 ~r egIIln
when. in the endea~or for
human happln .. ss end a
oneoess with ""tu ..... students
get blitzed. $udJ wes the case
of class day 1978. It was really
fun watching everyone get
together to osl. Bob. c.oI. Ted"'" Aloe. ~ Mao.
R202. (Unby"'" Pokey. a..-. v.::.or.. CMper. a.a. R&d­_
. MicI miynuLtes_.
GASP:
YOU Could Be Nancy Naz!
.. ,..T;E.
Do you suspect you. bt$t
friend or even yourself of s.uc­combingto
the lelest fashion In
people? Heve you ceught
yourself reltChlng for .the
Glamour. o. """,ndlng endlHs
hours onyou. nallswhllemun­ching
on a g.enola bar aod a
salad? &ewe ..... for lhe fev .... Is
ca(chino on she's all aroond
you. she's (gespl) NANCY
HAZ-NANCY
NAZ QUIZ
L '(our feshlon consists 01:
a)wo-
servOlion. politics
b)Clothes. Fisher ""men"". f.el
partit$
c) high school leachers. Deer
Abby. homewo.k
5. What musicdo you listen to?
e)G.eteful Deed. Yt$. Jeff .. rson
Airplane
b) Bee Gees. Villege People .
eo.,~
c) The Osmond Brothers. John
Denve •. Shown Cessidy
6. Whet do youdoon Sunday$?
a)go 10. II welk(smoke) on the "'. """ b)try to gel up for djn~r
c)go to church. the to LRC
7. Voor hero Is:
e) G.ace Slick
b)Cheryl Teiggs
c) Mllmabel Morgan
8. Whet ch8no station WMJ(J and Scors
. ond Roebuck, who lenl the
Junior dass a pocket Iran·
s lstOf,
Tickets for the entire
marvelous evening were only
$3.49 plus~, and Induded on,
SAGA Horsing Around
by Gary l&t>aJe
1\ was reveafed on March J I
thaI Saga Food Servia has
pI.Irchlosed a horse farm In
Syracuse. Thc farm c:onlalos
over ten dozen horses ond Was
pai d lor by Soga ' Iasl
September.
Saga .... istant manager Jim
F""".es claims that as fa ro, he
knows, the food service bought
the surplU$oIhosses for Invest·
ment pI.Irposes only: "I wa..,,·1
hete when we bought iI, oot
o,.,ve (Ma""""lIhouse) lold me
that there', 10 lot 01 money In
Ihot business and I know he
wll$<1'l horsing oround. Ha. hlo.
good pun, huh? Gel II?
Anyway. we can buy ond sell
hosses for rodeo, and ranches
and thing. like that:'
There has been speculotion
among NoUlreth studenl5 that
Saga hlos been serving horses
for ~Is. Student President
Denise '"Double,luff' area
:ll>ld. ""The hamburgers hlo""
ta.ted lunny thl' )lCfJr. and
horx melII 10 edible. Put two
and lwo togtlher_s..g.. serves
mul. ond they own
horses-we might be consum·
Ing Ihf:m. I don't mind It,
myself.- continued Miss are<>,
-but yikes!. a lot of kids ~re
Krtt ......... ps up nrsl s too..,
atSAQA Wffi
angry and ere !>«oming
vege tables_no I meen
""9"lItri~"'. Anyway. gollygee
whilllkcrs. maybe the whole
thing should be InvestigCh commotion."
Hot Time
In The Old
Town Tonight!
by Glom Steifta,a
On Suodlly C\I'efling. APrIl
1st. two hundred Nalllreth
ped bock into the crowd
by Sister Snoopburge; •. 00fiClal
d~n 9!l91l1E BEttA VIOROF
THE UTHUANIMI SPOTTED
i.E.MMINCi. The lifeol the lem·
mingo including the sex life 01
thiS enimal will be taught. In­cluding
a r,eld ulptoAlaslul to
wOlch lhe mass suicides 01 the
tiny beasts. Taught by Dr.
Gilligan Halfoman. .00003
cr~Its .
Soc, 000 FEAR AND
LOATHING ON THE
NAZARETH CAMPOS. Major
ooCation. Si1!n up soon. as
courses arc rapidly filling .
For more Inlormation. see
President Kl Ile,la, If you a
"I was Just walking b!K:k 10
my room, ... ~n all the sudden
this big humongous pig
Jumped In front of me and
doused me with II pitcher of
warm Mountain Dew: explflh'·
ed Sisler Chlorine Water afte,
she wes assui!ed last Friday
night. '~n he pushed me to
the ground and tried to shove II
whole .Ix pock of Pepsi Into my
mouth. Lue Security
Fmc,, ' Mr. V..cle, and Inter·
fogaled, wal found to b! II
Nllza,dh student. Sophomo~
Terry SoIree! ... 1lS enragt'd over
the "$1%· :lOde rrwoItChlnes.··
A mo~ te!e~ Mr. Scared
later admilled to "beating the
hell out oflhe P~I Machine"
at lo-.38p.m. on Friday, Merch
30. He then_ .talked Sr.
Chlorine. who was ~umil'\g
from Burger King. Armed with
the six pock of Pepsi aod con·
tiline. of warm Mountain Dew,
Mr. Scared IMped on her,
Arresting officer Fairy
charged . Mr. Scared wllh
"crlmll'lOl abuse with inlenl lo
kill a soda madllne" and
"assaull with a deadly P~i
Cllll:' The \9-year.o kl )'OO1h
pleaded gUilty 10 aU ctlarges
and wllS lei loose on $600 ball.
Sr. ChlorlnewlISoot hurt too
badly,
No Keys Needed in Kearney
In a meeting with the Ckaner
editorial board laSI ~k, the
director of housing announced
thai Kearney Hall will be IUrned
intoa 1960'sstylecommunein
the fI,ll. The doors will be
removed from a ll rooms and
the faculty hou"" will be torn
down 10 provide land for ral,.
Ing horses fa.- SAGA use, ac·
cording 10 the housing dl~·
,~.
''The kids are always com­...
1~lnlllg .. bout 'he vlSIt~tlOf1
hours anyw"y," said the H.D ..
"so _ decided to give them
whet they w"nt. Theonly ruleal
the Kearney commune will be
tlml students must work on the
horse farm, or In lhe pig stys."
When asked aboUI her
..,ference to pig stys, the H.D.
told US that the third Hoar will
be turned Into a combination
swine farm and
slaughterhouse. "It's already e
pig sty, 50 it will be an usy
cl>longeover,"!he said.
Th" F"",,,,I 10u"\jC will
become the s~ping area, and
the rooms wi ll become studios
for Incen""making, candle­!
NIklng, and mameraslnevery-room. "I don \
feel thai ifs an Invasion of
privacy:' Vader said. ''The
cameras will only be on al
night,"
Vader reversed an earlier
decision about the lights out III
9 o'clock rule, when he found
that It Jed 10 only more van·
dallsm and Il>lot it rendered the
cameras useless. Instead, all
.li.g ,hl s will rerTlolnon24 hoursa
"I don'l feel the studenlswlll
mind the cl>longes," he said In
closing ... After all, they asked
for it:'
Service With
A Smile?
Czompus ministry, fonnerty
thought to be a relilltous
organization III Naareth Col·
lege, waS busted by the
Rochester Vice $Quad 1M! week
after receiving an anonymous
lei"""""" tip lIS the largest
prostitution ring in the
Rochester area. Evidently the
Vice squad received iU tip-off
last Week from the Mother
SlIperlor.
SUll "Subbles"
r
II
"
II
ler\i]lhy Iinelorllbrary m Irrors
Lorette Wilmont:
across the country! Then the
Mob had to gel In on II, and
things gal a IIl1leoul of tland.1
think _ gal CIIught because
"'" mlwed a pay-off. Those
guys don'l """'" around, )'00
know."
The Campus Ministry was
known In underworld drcles"s
'!he girls 9f the nunnery', pr0-
bablye \.IIke-offon lhe religiOUS
atmosphere here al Nautreth,
"We wouldn't tIa~ lipped
lhem off:' SIIld an unidentified
source, "except lhey ",e,e get,
ling sloppier all the time aboul
paying US off, And believe you
me, they could alford Itl They
we.., grossing oYer 1,000,000
-do.ll-ars a month, Cheap bit, The "glrls" will be returning
to the campus In 5-10. Or as
soon as they come up for
perole.
Good For Something
b,.ADneT .... ~
Many new ond useful
f&ellitl ... a.., offered by lhe new
eddltions 10 the loret te·
Wilmont Ubrary. forexampie,
It now hold. two elevators, a
photogrophy lab, a complele
oudlo visual service, and en
enlarged 0 ..... r", perfodicals.
It Is part of the lunnel
system . . However, Ihe ac·
cornodot'oo used more then
eny other Is !he gla5ll.wolled
area that adjoins the !NIln en­trance,
II Is Intended for 1. . le
night studying, but lhat Is not
why It Issopopular and useful,
The gla511 wall. renee! one's
Image excellenlly In the
cIlryHght, especially in bright
sunlight. Not a soul can pass
wllhoul \.liking e glance at their
own renectlon. It !NIy look voln
oreven humorous lothosewho
ale Inside the reading area: but
when they're outside, It's a dif·
ferellt story.
"I elways use the "",II. 10
slyle my hair when my
suitemllte. ere using both
balhroom plugs,"' said one
junior. One fresh"""n added,
"When I pass the library, I CIIn
teJllf my colors milich, or If I'm
a mess and should go home
and ch.onge, It's nice to know
that lhe Irbrary Is of personal
valUl' In ell sorts of ways. Ex·
cuse me, while I go the.., to re­apply
some make-up:'
"Ifs time _ get tough,"
Vader said e. he unveiled one
of t"" new alr·cooled sub
m&ehlne guns thai will be pIac.
ed In O'Conoor, 'Thls JTIOdny Iresp .. ssors in one
round," he added.
Just What The Students
Need To Get Them Back
Ye., It'. ePPl'rent the! the..,
sre no objections 10 the recent
additions to the llbr .. ry. And
until the folks Indoors com·
plain, we con proclaim thaI the
library Is good fa.- something:
whether we bother to step in­side
or oot.
Conl'd. From
Page 3
Other newequipment wil! in·
clude;
'machi"e gun lurrelS on
t{e"rney ~nd Lourdes H .. lls. .
'Iwo "Huey" interceptor
helicopte rs.
'Iwo armored personal
vehicles and on.: ~ Sher·
!NIn \.link.
• 15 ca..." of tear gas and 21ear
gas guns.
lncluded in Ihe budget,
which 1m, been estimaled at
two mill'oo dollar., are new
securily uniforms, and in.
dlviduallire .. rms designed by
by Eric (" - rm ".0
More and rna,... " ldents
I>love started to spen$I of
IheIr time at Checl.. ~ . - so
much time, in fact.lrn-I I've
grossly ""91ee!ed thell ~ . ~:;o- S.
SuI there exists a te&eher O!
Nautreth who Is conee",,'"
with studenls-a leacher wr ,
spends exIra time and is In·
terested Inevery member of his
every class. This professor is
the wluy Dr. Aj&>l Sudsyl .. nd.
Dr. Sudsyl .. nd. reasoning
that ,I .Iudenls can't come to
class, 'len the closs can come
to the ~ udenls. ,. has developed
8 newcourse 10 fillhesltuallon:
"'Sar Rhetoric 262." Studenl$
cen now leam the Int,leacy of
rhetorically Interacting with
other people in crowded
p\&ees, •
"Sar Rhetoric 262" I. good
forthree credits, and the lab fee
is SSO. Classes will be held III a
table In lhe back of Checko'.
and students will be required,
"mong other Ihings, 10 induce
a tolal stranger imo buying him
three round. or Old Crow, In
one dass period, tolking the
""'rtender Inloglving thewhole
lass a fOUnd 01 Michelobe on
the house, a naly.tng the
rhetoric of
9rn super..,go, whieh in tum is
covering up lor an undefined
Id:'
.... 11 members of the can ,pus
heve been asked 10 keepencye
on all blank sp!>Ces-ani!NII,
vegetable, or olherwise-and to
inlorm your ""arby Security
Trooper of any susp;c,ously
marked Index fingers.
AJortIIO, I91'9 CLI!AftER _5·
STORPS: Kriteria ,Buys Lakers 'Just For Fun'
catch • IooItI.II , , ,
Ga
1I,. Gar,. Laaale
I'm skkand tlredohcertaln
problem on c.mpus. This I.
IOII'oelhlng that's been bother,
Ing me slnce I SWled odIooI
here eIGht years ago. There Is
1'>0 need for this diternn>.-the
-spo'r.u~ ooukIeasily rm .£faring to the wIIite
posts on the....:cer rotld. or the
IIO'CoItled "athletic rotld." How
0 one around here even plays
~.
If no one pl.!tys soccer, you
are probably asklng, what. tv.p.
ptnI on the athletic fltId;> The
__ It: toftbalL And these
willie posts don't tnIIM: It easy.
How C&I'I you keep your eye on
the ball ... Ith the dlstradlng
white in the backgl'llUrlCftl
Football Is also played on
,,_ ...... tial.aro:th PresIdent 80bby
fujterill toct.v bought the LoI
Angeles Wen Tn ... un-precedented
move. It ... as •
spur-of·lhe-~I Ir.1\JK"
lion ... ithout much thought or
rea..,., behind II. The following
Int~fVlew explains Krlttrl.·s
I09k,
Cleaner: Why ~actly did
you buy the LoI Angeles
taken?
KIlleN, Well. 1 Just though!
liwouldbtf ..... r"ulwll)'l
like Kareem AbduI.J.bt>w
end I think he'd look good
Inl'talaIla. operation?
Kr. SometJmes , 0I0I1ege has
to do thlngl that cIon'l
1001< liM: good fI'lOvtS 01 nrst
but .. fieri while. people lien
to reolize their worth. Thlill
ont of thole CIlStt, ,rod I
though!. ..
CI, Where did )'OU gel the
Kr." A" "o"d"Io oI has to look fo<
.w.i.1..a.t everwill help It moM, 0: Where did the tnOr'II!)' come 'ro .. " Kr. Well. ''''1)'. 1 had to rabe
tuition. little, as well as.
lew ~SSIonI .. oo.rnd
~
CI, Can you glve some dttolls?
Kr. All right; there ert Just •
lew mlnltnllllna~ We
Just tlI!sed room .rod board
to 116.580 per fUr. whldl
I think Is reasoneble.
CI, s 16.580 for room and
board? Throf. tldlculousl
Kr: It will be worth It. Just
think ot .11 the people who·11
tum out to ....... c:h Kareem
Slulf the boll lr;l the 80.000
capociIygymnaslum rm
bUIlldlng-the Bobby
KrIterio foom.
0, INhIt will )'OU do with the
old YlIrsity leam?
Kr. They'll pIIy Junior "arslty.
n,..tak~ore. bit bettN.
rd say.
CI, Dots lhe purdlaslng ot the
lIrkers have onythlng 10 do
Pur-cba_ Pot:
with the .-.t ~of
ptic:es by 25 ~t In the
book lIore and clgorrtttes
ranI­business
deel. This will
make quite I story for lhe
,."...
Kr. Oh 1'>0. it wool,lf you print
any of thll. ru _to It that
yer 01 lluOMu
have transferred. And fo< the
flnt time in f'iauIteIh history
(asot thia...ming). there will be
no Incoming freshmen.
Kritetla feell this hu nothing
to do with his tripling tuition to
enable him to buyo probuket,
ball Iranchlse, ~It·s merely'
\rend-a slow yur lor college
kids. rm .... re It'll lnaea""
agoln In the future."
Somethin' For
Io)'k8Uo,.a._
PrornpUy .fter the ltgIU ....
Ilonof motrIj ..... juII tWo short
~ ago. -.dIng nwoc:hInea
have $pI'\fI'Ig "" aU _ the
tlnIted States 101 ... I"credibly
high IlIte of speed. Naureth
has not beeIl left GOA, to the
delight 01 gl'ClUf'S 01 Jludtou
whodleered as moc:hlnea wert
Inst.lIlltd In the mall room and
lheSllullsCenter lost Tuesdlry.
When asked about the nation­...
Ide wccess of the machlnea,
Mr. ""'o""r let Glutton of con­*
lIidated AtnIIlgatnllted Ven­dotl.
Inc. replied, "Sales
could.,.! be higher, .nd for
some strange tNSOn, theout Rolled
Gold orCOtumbloGtnu IOf \he
quallty'seekJng IndiVidual who
... 111 settle for nothJng but the
very best? wt.... you're In I
hurry to get off. try f.st Grass
1)1 Gold Rush. PeopIt with
"
r-'------"","
In Reuiew •••
Let This Group Be
(ThIs Is the first 01 B. Tull 's
record revl~. rull$ls an ~vld
music fen and stays 00 lop of
the music:: world by reading
TEENBEAT and DISCO
WEEKLY. his views are his
own. and ~n though they're
usUlllly OCCUlIte. they do not
r~nect the feelings of the
CLEANER.)
by B. TUII.
MEET TliE BEA TLES Is
i1erlllded as oneol thle be$1 .-.
albumsloday, bUllhis must be
contested. On thealbum COY8 .
the Beatles lI,e billed liS
·phenor-nenel.~ but !Mlcan"! be
referring to their music-It
Sllnk$.
There Is rIO COI"Ia:ivable way
thai this foursome could ever
mIIke it big. They even look
lunny-lhei, Noi. is short and
neal. lhey lire wearing old­fMhion
pointy boots. and they
MV" weird shirt 0011111'5 and
str"i9ht·l~ pIInts.
BUllet'scon!Iider themusic:
lIthe Beutles hope toeve,,,,,m
II lasting Imp~ion, they'll
I»~ to OVeI' sound,
The first song on the LP Is II
lame eKCUSI! lor a single: "I
Want To Hold You, Hllnd" Is a
new style-rock 'n' mil, II. they
Cllil it. It Is this Iype 01 music
thllt goes agllinst the popular
and umouchllble disco musk,
whkh Is invul""",ble, "I Want
To Hold Yo.., Hand" Is very
fo'geullble, lind II big ' eason
forthllt I. beSSibly think
thai rock 'n' roll could ever
have a lasUng effect? If the
Beatles want to succeed, they'll
have to get bllck 10 the bllsics of
the lovably montonou. disco
beat,
Lennon, McCllrtney. Har·
rison, lind drummer Ringo
Sum fooIaround with 100 much
diversity_don't they know
thlll people like heIIrlng lots of
pounding bliss and drums lind
repelllive lyrics? With II little
lUCk, they might sell II few
MEETTHEBEATI.ESlllbums,
bul most people will Justlet this
group be.
The CLEANER PHOTO CONTEST Where is This?
A Bar Siool in the Pub? The Taj MahaI? Your
House? A closet in the Motherhouse? II you think
you know the answer, sand il lo The ClEANER
c/o The GlEANER. The Ii'S! person with the right
answer gets to be the pholographef next year!
Try Nazareth NoniIg HonIe!
Storage r~ for reIi'8d
1'UlfI, 8dr:Ied ~ .n:I
len.red pro/esscnl
Meadn't seen In
years, Irnaglr>e tlvltI We were
the best of f.lends in high
.school. The other kids called us
the '·terribl~ twosome," Ha hII,
the tricks we used to play on
people, Remember theold jelly
donut in the notebook trk:k?
And the fI'IIlShed potato warsal
lunch time? Smoking oot In
the parking, lot and getting
caught by the prlnclp.:ll? Jar>e
and I !>ad the best tIIlk We pro­mised
to go to our old hangout
under those golden arches to
munch on !IOI'Yle fri