Melissa De Sousa Reveals Career Struggles In Rolling Out

She’s also proof that a pretty face in Hollywood can be a blessing or a curse with people expecting you to live off your looks or others not caring about your talent. In the latest issue of Rolling Out, “The Best Man Holiday”star Melissa De Sousa (Shelby) said she’s been proving herself to the naysayers since day one, fighting to make sure Hollywood respected her as an actress and not just some pretty girl trying to get a role.

In her interview, she gives the real on the struggles that actresses trying to make it endure, including hearing “No” more times than “Yes,” having to hustle and beg for a screen test, and ultimately having to sleep on friends’ couches while they wait for that next check.

Peep the excerpts:

You have a unique look. Have there been any advantages or disadvantages in getting parts and dealing with Hollywood?Tons of rejection … [so] much I can’t even count. I mean most of the time [I get] more “nos” than “yeses.” I never really had anyone say anything real horrible to me. I had to prove myself. I remember when I auditioned for Hustle & Flow, which is the one [movie] Terrence got his nomination for. You know they thought I was “too pretty” and I wouldn’t be able to play a down-on-her luck stripper. But I begged them to see me. You know I went in and did my thing. I ended up screen-testing. The person who got it was Paula Jai Parker. I think Regina Hall also screen-tested. All of us ultimately screen-tested. You know I had to fight for them to even look at me in that way, because they thought I was too nice and would not be able to get gritty and dirty. You have to prove yourself because people always want to put you in a box. I am just the one not to do that to.

What about the highs and lows of your acting career?It’s not always easy to get in the “door.” You know when I first came to Los Angeles, I slept on my girlfriend’s floor for a year. I got my first agent and I sent my pictures out to everybody and since I had no experience and I had nothing on tape or even seen, some of the [agencies] sent my pictures back to me [laughs]. So one agency would see you in person and they want you to come in and audition in their room and once again I had to prove myself in person. You have to have an attitude that nothing’s gonna stop me. I think that’s just my New York kind of attitude — survival of the fittest. That’s why I love that song [Empire State of Mind] so much because that’s how it is when people go off to New York.

You cannot let people come up in your face and stop you. So I went in and got the agent that way and started to do commercials and whatever and my first role I think I was playing a gang member. It was a guest spot on this show called “The Trials of Rosie O’Neill.” The star of the show was Sharon Gless [“Cagney and Lacey”]. The gang thing was very “in” at that time with Boyz N the Hood and all that stuff. With every job, you know there are highs and lows. After the first Best Man, I had a big movie, Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock that was huge. It’s still huge. It still comes on television. I am still getting paid, which is great and crazy [laughs].

I also got a TV series with [producer] Darren Starr, who created “Sex in the City” that was big time for me and took me to another part of the business. When I got the big Darren Starr break we got canceled after five episodes because we were up against another show called “The West Wing.” So we were in the same time slot and we got clobbered — that show was huge. After that I got depressed for a while. … It was such a big deal because [I was] working in New York, my hometown and coming off the success of The Best Man and I think it messed with my head a little bit, which was the first time I had a major disappointment.

Then there were times I didn’t work for maybe two or three years. There was a time I didn’t have an agent for one reason or another. When the agent dropped me I was like “OK, maybe I am not in the business anymore.” God-willing you can collect unemployment from the residuals from other things you have done in the past. You collect your unemployment and then you pray. You still go out and do your hustle. I always would save money because you never know when that dry spell is gonna hit — and it did. Just go and keep auditioning and keep trying and keep believing things will turn around and it always does.

As far as films are concerned, Melissa says the difference between black movies now and 15 years ago is that now they’re more positive.

I think it’s positive. We had to start somewhere. Those stories in the past needed to be told. Everything gets better with time. I feel like now it’s getting back to those great [director] Spike Lee days, more diverse, more intelligent [films]. You shouldn’t underestimate your audience. I feel like it’s changing for the better. There are roles for all types of movies, I mean you still want to watch the urban movies and they need to be told. You still want to see something you haven’t seen before. Like everyday movies like The Best Man. The movie didn’t have to be played by African American people; it is a movie that everyone can relate to.

54 People Bitching

I’ve been a fan since I first saw her in Miss Congeniality, lol, she’s a very good actress. I love to see women like her that realize you can be SMART, TALENTED and BEAUTIFUL, and you don’t have to dumb yourself down or make sex tapes to become famous. I will continue to support her because she has worked hard and she deserves it. Go head Miss Desousa.

I agree with you too but @Rita was saying “flat back chalk stick” as in YT girl!!! LOL Half of those females can’t act their way out of a paper bag but put a Dior Couture gown on them then they become the toast of the town. Oh hunty the casting couch wasn’t termed for us because they still expected us to be dusting under it not getting sc rewed on top of it! Ya’ll heard what Omarosa said to Bethany in that post last week! *sips fresh hazel-nut from the keurig*

+2 Geena Reply:November 28th, 2013 at 10:09 am

Ok now I get it misunderstanding on my part. With all the typos on devices even for me I thought she meant fat. I know there a push going that says bigger black and darker actress getting more roles than people who are the opposite because they fit a stereotype. Thanks for the clarification.

I keep hearing that its sad, funny then sad again! My gf’s all but told me what I could expect by saying they cried, laughed and cried!! I’m debating on whether I even want to go see it or wait for the DVD to come out now!! smh

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT are you waiting for? SHAME ON YOU! LOL
GOOOOOOOOOo see it!! I don’t wanna see no more comments from you, until you have dragged yourself to go see it. you will NOT be disappointed. I saw it twice in the theatres. that’s how great it is. girl…. you just don’t know. lol

and she looks fabulous by the way.

Anon-E-Mous Reply:November 29th, 2013 at 2:01 pm

@deja

LOL, I still want to see it but what I was trying to say is that between my girls and hearing people on the radio talk about it, I feel like i’m going to know what to expect. I’m still going to support that beautiful black cast but I don’t want to see, hear or read anything else about it. It’s seeming easy to get too many clues as to the sad and unexpected parts. I’ve already heard hints of key parts that made people LOL and cry! I just don’t want my experience ruined when me and my man go see it! LOL

+3 Kandi Reply:November 28th, 2013 at 10:23 am

Man she did so good in in Best Man Holiday she brought funny and I felt her emotions too. 46???? Damn ya’ll us black people do so WELL AT AGING!!! She looks great to be almost 50 she that NEW 30

I love that she kept it 100. And whoever said that about ebony magazine and essence magazine was right.. they keep putting the same actresses on the cover. I mean hear you have Melissa, Regina Hall , Monica Calhoun andd tamala Jones have never been on a cover solo. They been in the game for years. Regina Hall has three movies coming out next year let’s see if she makes the cover.* excuse typos.

Me too! And while we are hoping, I hope Oscars and the Emmy’s start paying more attention to our black films!!! SO SICK AND TIRED FOR BEING NOMINATED FOR BEING A SLAVE, BUTLER, WHORE, CRACK HEAD, DRUG DEALER!!! UM HELLO WE ARE SUCCESSFUL AT OTHER THINGS TOO SMDH!!!!!

That’s hard but refreshing to hear her talk so candidly about her struggles. It’s really terrible that black Holllywood can’t catch a break but you see Bradley Cooper and Merryl Streep in 2/3 movies a year. I am taking nothing away from their talent but black actors/actresses are just as good. Good luck on the rest of your career and stay beautiful.

I have loved MELISSA DESOUSA since she played one of FLEX WASHINTONS many girlfriends on the show ONE ON ONE :)) Shes an a amazing actress and she really played Shelby to the fullest in BEST MAN HOLIDAY that fight scene between her and CANDY(regina hall) was epic!!! The things they were saying to eachother were like daggers lol

She seems smart and well-grounded and I liked this interview. Truthful but not at all whiny. I can definitely see her on a tv show and hope I get to soon.

A little off topic, this is why magazines like Ebony and Essence annoy me so much and I don’t subscribe to them. They should be going out looking for fresh, new talent to promote and I understand that this lady has been in the business for years so she may not be the best example. But why does it seem that these Black magazines only “recognize” Black people when they’ve done something to crossover and become mainstream?

If you look at Cosmopolitan, Allure, Glamour, Lucky, etc…sometimes you don’t even recognize the White girl on the cover because she’s from some new show or movie and someone has decided that she’s going to be the new ‘IT’ girl so they help create her. That’s one of the reasons we end up with a slew of White girls like Zooey Deschanel, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, Anna Faris, Anna Paquin and others learning all about their new shows or movies, how they style their hair, their make-up and basically having them presented to us as stars until they become just that. Even though they may be a newbie who’s only a few episodes into a show that’s taking off. Meanwhile Essence is putting Michelle Obama on the cover for the 117th time! (absolutely no shade to Michelle Obama!)
Just think about it, when was the last time you saw a cover of Ebony and thought, ‘Oh who is this?’

Even those featured inside the magazine tend to be safe, predictable and not particularly informative. I know they need to sell mags but seriously if they are claiming to be media that represents Black interests than they need to use the platform they have a lot better than they are and help get our people out there, not just give them recognition when they’ve finally made it.

Yep you are so right about that. What about the actress from Sleepy Hollow or the young lady from Walking Dead. That show is in the 3rd or 4th season and there is hardly buzz about her from our black magazines.

Yes there’s so many to choose from to interview. I would love to learn more about the actress who plays Michonne. I saw pics of her on the red carpet during an event for the show and she is beautiful first of all! That hairstyle they have her in on the show does not do her justice at all. Also, what about other hit shows with Black characters? Why isn’t there an article about the Black actresses from ‘Orange Is The New Black’? The White main character is getting a good amount of buzz from her circles and that show is filled with Black talent.

I definitely can relate! I am doing the same thing that she started off doing. I think people of all races can relate, not just black women. It really has nothing to do with race..getting your name out in this industry is hard for many who don’t know anyone out here, but with enough hard work and dedication (while being true to yourself), it’s bound to end up going uphill at some point! I’m currently splitting a one bedroom apartment, so I definitely know. #THESTRUGGLE

I been a Melissa DeSousa fan since that movie Ride. She was beautiful then and she is more beautiful now. It is very refreshing seeing her again, and I want to see more of her. Everyone has their season and one day she will have hers. Best of luck Melissa!

I’m liking this color on her better than the blonde! The blonde washes her out a bit. She is a fierce chica either way though. I love how candid she was. I know its a hard knock life in the industry for minorities but U applaud those who speak out. I said the same for Terrence when he called Robert Downey out on Bravo after show the other night. I liked her on “Reed Between The Lines” too!

I like how all these black actresses are spilling the tea on the struggle. It takes more sense than, “i came to hollywood struggled, cried, then I got my big break and I only rock prada and I’ll be rich foreeeeever dawling” which is how most actresses have been coming across. I would love to see her featured at the beginning of that web series “black actress” . I heard billy jean king speak at a luncheon one time she said “if we women don’t do it for ourselves and then help each other once we do it we’ll never get it or keep it” I think that applies to black actresses, doctors, writers, mothers, and bloggers too. Thanks rolling out mag for letting Ms. de Sousa shine!

I’m very sadden to here that a woman as articulate as you would ever get turned down for anything in life, i mean i my don’t have as much as a rich man that could offer you, and shower you with the finer things in life, but I’m rich in heart, spirit, motivation, and will-power, and i know all you need is that to inspire you to be whatever you want to be, and do whatever you do in life….you being 46 or 47 only means that you’ve gotten better with age, and a creative as you are in films i know that you’re more than likely that spontaneous in person and i would love to see that side of you in the flesh..I don’t need to tell you that you’re beautiful because you know that already…what you don’t know is that….a man like myself wouldn’t stop at nothing to keep you happy, and satisfied mentally, spiritually, physically, financially, and definitely sexually…i would never leave your side no matter how difficult you may be when your stressing about Hollywood ways……”love and adventure is only a text message away Melissa De Sousa!”

I HOPE THAT SHE’S LISTENING DJ…… BUT MY GUT FEELING TELLS ME THAT SHE’S MORE INTO HERSELF AND HER CAREER, THAN LISTENING OR RESPONDING BACK TO SOMEONE AS INTELLIGENT, AND LOVING LIKE YOURSELF…”ACTING IS AN ADDICTION!” AND MANY OF OUR BEAUTIFUL BLACK, WHITE, HISPANIC, AND OTHER RACES GET SO CAUGHT UP IN TRYING TO BE THE NEXT BEST THING FOR MONEY THAT THEY LOSE FOCUS ON WHO THEY REALLY ARE , AND HOW FAR THEY CAME BEING WHO GOD CREATED THEM FROM BIRTH…. ALTERING YOUR APPEARANCE DOESN’T SEND OUR YOUNG GENERATION A POSITIVE MESSAGE…IN FACT IT GIVES THEM THE IMPRESSION THAT IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH, AND IF YOU’RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH WHO YOU ARE, AND WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE..THAT IT’S OKAY TO CHANGE YOUR APPEARANCE BY HAVING OPERATION AFTER OPERATION….NOW THE PERSON THAT YOU SEE ON TV IS MORE AS IF THE TOY COMPANY MADE THEM UP BECAUSE GENETICALLY THEY’VE MADE ALL THEIR INHERITAGE CUT OFF, AND HAVE HAD THEM REPLACE WITH MAN-MADE PARTS…. “LOVE ME FOR ME, OR LOVE GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE!”….IF MONEY MAKE YOU DO THINGS OF THIS NATURE, THEN ONE COULD ONLY IMAGE WHAT YOU DID, OR WILL BE WILLING TO DO TO FOR LITTLE PIECE OF CHANGE…..”CHANGE THE GAME, NOT YOURSELF FOR MONEY”!

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