Its not that I am not aware of how blessed I am... its just that there is an ever growing discontentment with life as it is that's bothering me. I can't quite place my finger on what exactly is lacking, but there is a void that is expanding and I don't know why...

Suddenly, the world seems like such a big place, with so much to do, and so little time... I'm so caught up with living my daily life, that I'm unable to do anything more than just that. I'm so sure there's more to life than just earning my daily bread and leading a take-it-as-it-comes existence. I'm not much of a planner, I've never been an ambitious person. And yet, people around me have faith in me and my abilities, maybe more than I do... and that is a disturbing thought. Am I meant to do something more, am I supposed to make a difference? If so, what, how, when, where and why? I don't see it happening any time soon, and the horizon stretches endlessly in front of me.

I know I sound gloomy, but apart from this feeling that's gnawing me from inside, I'm actually pretty good. I'm happy and not content.

A few good thoughts to ponder upon from a book I'm reading, Daddy-Long-Legs by Jean Webster :

"It isn't the big troubles in life that require character. Anybody can rise to a crisis and face a crushing tragedy with courage, but to meet the petty hazards of the day with a laugh - I really think that requires spirit."

"Don't you think it would be interesting if you really could read the story of your life - written perfectly truthfully by an omniscient author? And suppose you could only read it on this condition : that you would never forget it, but would have to go through life knowing ahead of time, exactly how everything you did would turn out, and foreseeing to the exact hour the time when you would die. How many people do you suppose would have the courage to read it then? Or how many could suppress their curiosity sufficiently to escape from reading it, even at the price of having to live without hope and without surprises?"

"The world is full of happiness and plenty to go around, if you are only willing to take the kind that comes your way"

"I don't agree with the theory that adversity and sorrow and disappointment develop moral strength. The happy people are the ones who are bubbling over with kindliness."