Monday, May 4, 2015

May Day, May Day

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft. Moments later the tower land line rang which was answered by one of the employees.

It was the sole passenger in the plane. He was screaming: "Mayday, mayday!! The pilot has had an instant and fatal heart attack. I have grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket, and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday, mayday!!"

The employee in the tower put him on the speaker phone immediately. "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!!".

He began his series of questions:Tower: "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet??"

Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the Altimeter dial in front of me."

Tower: "Okay, that’s good, remain calm. How do you know you're traveling at 180 mph?"Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the Airspeed dial in front of me."

Tower: Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast, so how do you know you're flying upside down?"

Aircraft: “The diarrhea in my pants is running out of my shirt collar."