A ‘Red Dawn remake? Stop them before they film again

Were “Red Dawn” a puppy, you would have rubbed its nose in its excrement and put it on the back porch.

Were “Red Dawn” a child, she would still be having a timeout in a quiet corner of your house.

But it was a movie. A bad movie. No, that’s an insult to bad movies everywhere. How else can you describe a movie where high school football stars — Wolverines! — become resistance fighters and defeat the Soviet Union.

So of course, it is being remade. It’s set to be filmed in Detroit. And hasn’t that city suffered enough? And set to open in September 2010.

Connor Cruise, son of Tom, is set to be in the movie and to play the son of the mayor of Spokane. Guess the Inland Empire had a ring for directors.