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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

No girls allowed

Writes Bailey in Oklahoma: “My nine-year-old brother hung the original note on his door when I came home from college for Christmas. After I laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. When I walked in anyway, he yelled, “Didn’t you see the sign?!?’ I can’t believe I’m being patronized by a third-grader.”

Well, yeah, she probably would beat his ass if he denied her entry to the room. This is a nice way of acquiescing and avoiding the ass-kicking. Girl cousin is apparently butcher and scarier than 19 yo Bailey.

Well Bailey, looks like your brother has acquired the ability to set his own parameters. Not to worry though, his female aversion will only last until 10–then the sign will be replaced with “GIRLS PLEASE,PLEASE ENTER”. That means any girl except you Bailey. Sorry

“after i laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. when i when walked in anyway, he yelled, “didn’t you see the sign?!?’” You’re right; the full scale of her unwarranted incursion has olny just struck me.

My brother and I had a most excellent rivalry for years. He thwacked me across the hand with one of those wooden rulers that has a metal edge (two stitches), I shaved his eyebrows off his first day before high school (bonus points for spitting on the razor), he wound up a Hot Wheels car until the wheels were grinding and then stuck in in my hair (which had to be cut into a horrible Peter Pan bowl cut), I glued the toes on his feet together (trip to the ER), he shot me at point blank range with a paint ball gun in my butt (huge welt) and, to date, I have slipped him Orajel as chapstick about fifteen times (numb lips, awesomely funny). We never left notes; we sent each other to the doctor.

Then there was the time that RunBarbara branded her brother. His reply was to leave her for dead in the middle of the desert. Not to be outdone, she knocked out his teeth with a golf club. After her brother cut off her left foot in revenge, they called a truce.

You forgot to mention the time when I turned him into the F.B.I. for “un-American” activities that involved a rodeo clown, three french poodles and a bottle of olive oil.
When he was finally released from custody I was on the business side of a meeeeean Indian burn.

I had one of those medallion necklaces with my astrological sign on it…I got mad at my brother once and flung it at him cutting him over the eye…And my parents love to tell how I tried to teach him kindergarten songs when I was 5/6 and he was 4.5 yrs younger than me. They say I would get so mad at him….I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t sing them with me….

I was a horrendous older sister. I can’t believe he still speaks to me.

RB – over a year later I came across this posting, and tho’ you’ll probably never see this I just had to say how it made me LMAO, but in that quiet, snuffling way that one laughs when one is at work, supposedly doing, um, work.
I don’t think that–as an adult–I could get away with the eyebrow shaving prank, but the Orajel…I’m choosing my victim as I type…

Those wonderful anything-can-happen days spent solving mysteries and exploring haunted castles with my imaginary girl cousin. We were close; so very close, and eventually discovered that we were cousins. Cousins with secret mind powers. In time, I taught her to hide, and she taught me to seek. No other girl could ever live up to her.

Hey, I once had a sticker club, so I can’t comment on the sign…however, I would like to say, how rude and inconsiderate of the sister to completely ignore his wishes, however silly. Bed without dessert for her, and no stickers.

I’m with GW on this. Bailey, why were you even going into his room? I am sure at 10 years older you probably changed his diapers and wiped his nose … but he doesn’t need that any more. (Not to mention that is the age when boy’s rooms really start to SMELL. EWWW)

I am on team KNOCK, ask to come in, if denied entry talk through the door.

I mean would you want him wandering into YOUR room whenever HE felt like it?

Man these comments are great. I’ve been checking out the notes and skipping the comments for quite some time. BIG MISTAKE!

Some of you “troublemakers” should have websites to yourselves. I love it.

So to you regulars I have to ask: who’s on the short list for must read commenters? I have a few ideas based on what I’ve read so far but I was wondering who people really like and who is just annoying.

I would have to put claw at the top of the the “To Watch” list (among many others) – but I am biased since he’s my imaginary internet lover… I wouldn’t stick around here if you don’t have a pretty thick skin!!

There are some who are just plain funny on every note (such as Claw, Troy McClure, UHG, Mishee, to name just a few). And, as CB points out, there are some notes that are MADE for certain people. But you never really know who those people are until the comments come. Notes about, from or in any way to do with mothers usually are a win win for everyone! And no one, I mean no one, is chopped liver around here. But the thicked skin advice is sound. Nothing, I mean nothing, is sacred.

I can still remember it like it was yesterday. My older sister barged into my room and caught me doing what boys do when they’re in their rooms all alone. She was disgusted and she ran from the room.

Seconds later she came back with two of her friends who were staying over. She told me to show them what I was doing. At first I didn’t want to but when she threatend to tell our mom that I had porn in the room I had no choice.

They laughed. Apparently I was doing it all wrong. My grip was too loose and I had my palm inverted. “You’ll never get any friction that way,” her friend Becky said.

So the only distinction in the boys and girls, according to the drawing, is hair length. What about girls with short, butch-style haircuts, or suffering from Alopecia Areata? They’re allowed, I guess. But would you allow guys with long hair, like Dee Snyder and his uber-mullet? Or what about Jesus? Are you saying you wouldn’t allow Jesus in your room, young man?! Probably best, considering what is likely to be going on in there.

How horrible is it that I *didn’t* notice, because that’s the way I was taught to write, as well? And I have always thought it to be the most ridiculous thing ever (even as a first grader), but I just assumed everyone did it…

This kid is gonna be great upper management material. The redundancy, the mispelling of simple words, The insane requests. Can’t wait to see how this rising star runs his office. With many a “smelly microwave” PA note I’ll wager!

I’m sorry…
I have to side with little brother on this one here….
How many times has he herd
“No boy’s allowed !!!”
or been left out from hanging out with Bailey because he was too young, or “Girls only”.
I think Bailey’s taught him well and she’s seeing her efforts put to use now…
What is that saying ???
“What goes around comes around”.

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"The thing that drives me bonkers at work is to open up the trash can drawer and see a cup half-full of water that was carefully placed into the trash can so it doesn't spill--in a trash can an arm's length away from the kitchen sink!

99% of the people in my office are college graduates, probably toward the top of their class. But some without enough common sense to pour the water in the sink before putting the cup into the trash can.