QUIZ: Answer These Questions and We’ll Tell You What Kind of Old Person You’ll Be

Elizabeth Nelson

By Elizabeth Nelson

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Have you ever wondered what you’ll be like when you’re older? Will you be a total grinch or sweet and clueless? Will you embarrass your grandchildren or be a grandchild-less hermit who likes to putz around the garden and threaten the neighbor kids?

There’s only one way to find out for sure, and that’s actually getting old. But since you probably don’t want to get too much older right away, we’ve devised a less accurate but way more fun method of determining what type of old person you’re going to turn into.

This quiz is just for fun, so don’t get your panties in a bunch if your results don’t match up with the type of old person you thought you’d be. There are no wrong answers, and each of these types of elderly people has its own individual strengths and weaknesses.

It’s time to embrace your inner senior citizen!

Click “start” below to begin the quiz. Your results are waiting for you; good luck!

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Answer These Questions, And We’ll Tell You What Kind Of Old Person You’ll Be

You are a Walter or a Winifred.

A Walter or a Winifred is a watchful and frowny old person, someone nobody wants to mess with. You’re crotchety and impatient, and the next time you’re called a grinch or a scrooge won’t be the first. You’ve been voted most likely to keep a shotgun next to your front door for intruders, and you’re the type to shoot first and ask questions later. You probably have several “no trespassing” signs lining your wooded property, the perimeter of which you walk daily to search for suspicious activity. But hey, if that’s your thing, more power to you.

You are an Irma or an Irving.

Oh, ignorant Irma or Irving, you’re everybody’s favorite sweet innocent old person. You definitely mean well and want everyone to like you, but you’re more than a bit clueless. Your trusting nature has gotten you into some trouble with bad investments and unnecessary purchases via infomercials and door-to-door salesmen. You’re a slow driver, but you don’t know it, and the kids have probably discussed whether to take your license away on more than one occasion. You’re always talking about “that internet” with your grandchildren, but the only thing you know how to do with it is send chain emails to everyone in your contact list. But keep it up; you’re doing great!

You’re an Ethel or an Elmer.

And the E stands for Embarrassing. You’re the type of fun-loving granny or gramps that just can’t help but tell a few old stories about your glory days and then another dozen or so stories about the hilarious things your children and grandchildren did when they were younger. You’ve got at least one photo of every person in your family as a baby, butt naked in the bathtub, and you love to pinch cheeks or ask people if they’re “working hard or hardly working” in between humiliating stories. Sounds like life is working out just fine for you as an old person!

You are a Herbert or a Helen.

In your case, the H stands for Hermit. You’re a lone wolf, a putz-around-in-the-garden type of senior who is definitely not in the mood for company, especially in the form of neighbor kids tearing up your pristine lawn with their bicycles. You were a hard worker back in your day, and now you dedicate your time to making sure what you have left in life is in tip-top condition: your car, your yard, your house, your shotgun. People may disagree with your lifestyle, but how could you live any other way?

You are a Vivian or a Vincent.

You V-namers are a vivacious bunch, always getting into trouble! You drive fast, and the family never knows what car to expect to see you in, since you buy (or perhaps borrow) a new one whenever the mood strikes. You’re the type who would jump out of an airplane or visit Africa on a whim, and if one of the grandkids asked you to go to the club, you’d be sure to ditch your bridge buddies without saying a word. You may be an old person, but you’re young at heart. Keep it up!

What is your favorite old-person hobby?

How many grandkids would you like?

If you had a wheelchair, what would be one thing you’d want to do with it?

As an old person, you’ll have a favorite chair. Which will it be?

Which non-cane item would you be likely to use as a cane?

How Diabetes Affects Sense Of Smell: Click “Next” below!

Elizabeth Nelson is a wordsmith, an alumna of Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, a four-leaf-clover finder, and a grammar connoisseur. She has lived in west Michigan since age four but loves to travel to new (and old) places. In her free time, she. . . wait, what’s free time?

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