Connect

Thus spake Palin

Sarah Palin has taken time out from her latest TV show to demand that President Obama be impeached. Obama should take some comfort from that, since Palin’s support on any issue, historically, has been a pretty sure sign that the opposite will happen.

Part of me wants to believe that Palin’s opinion piece on Breitbart was written by someone else, since she rarely communicates in complete sentences. But her lede (journalism lingo there) makes me think she wrote at least this much:

Enough is enough of the years of abuse from this president. His unsecured border crisis is the last straw that makes the battered wife say, ‘no mas.’ “

Here we have three distinct metaphors in one sentence: the overburdened camel, the abusive husband, and welterweight boxer Roberto Duran. A hat trick! Too bad it won’t all fit on a bumper sticker.

She also includes herself among “we average Americans” and derides the president’s “friendly wealthy bipartisan elite, who want cheap foreign labor and can afford for themselves the best ‘border security’ money can buy in their own exclusive communities.”

Two things wrong here: the childish use of quotes to indicate sarcasm, and the fact that Palin has a net worth north of $12 million. With that kind of dough, I’m guessing she doesn’t live in affordable housing, and “average Americans” might not be permitted to stroll up to her front door to borrow a cup of sugar.

But hypocrisy is nonpartisan; I suppose she can be forgiven. What I don’t get is how she proposes Obama stem this new tide of immigrant children coming across the border, besides just sending them home. Shoot them? Deploy land mines? Stock the Rio Grande with crocodiles? That all seems kind of harsh, since we’re talking about disadvantaged minors as opposed to suicide bombers.

The fact is, it takes a lot of dough to make a 2,000-mile border impenetrable. Even if Obama were inclined to do that, do you think the House would help him out? Nope. The president just asked Congress for nearly $4 billion to deal with the current crisis, but of course the GOP is saying no. Like Palin, Obama doesn’t get much of anything he wants these days.

Unlike Palin, he’s usually asked to elaborate on the shit that he says.