Obama Speech Template

Greetings great and mighty culture, I am the Obama leader of New America. I am a cultured, urbane, black man with a Muslim name and I carry no baggage.

Your culture is great and wonderful, your poets brilliant, I will now quote one I have never read. Your food wonderful, I will now mention a dish I have never eaten.

Our countries have had issues in the past and they were all the fault of the old America, run by old white men.

Your country has done no wrong and any history of atrocities or rapaciousness or repression was just a reaction to Western meddling

I apologize on behalf of the old white men who wronged you.

New America will not judge you, we will not pretend our free culture is better than your backward, tyranny.

We just want you to like me us.

Just change the nation, its leader, and some of the details and there you have our current president’s foreign policy agenda in a neat little package.

Of course what with North Korea shooting more missles than China has fireworks and Iran cracking skulls over their recent election selection, I don’t see it working very well. But then what do I know. I’m not an enlightened liberal.

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Yes, that sounds like what we’ve been hearing of his speeches around the world.

Did I hear, correctly, some news item in the last couple of days that North Korea was calling on the West to do something about global warming? I wasn’t able to check it out, but it sounded like a great case of tyrants/terrorists trying to distract people from what the tyrants/terrorists are doing.