Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye probably felt like an asinine fool, so he quickly posted this apology to his official website, which is currently down. Check out how *not effing crazy* Kanye is...

"I’M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TO HER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD’VE SAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADER AND SHE’S IN THE BLEACHERS! …………………… I’M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ON STAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!…………….. BEYONCE’S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF THIS DECADE!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I’M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT WE WATCHIN’ THE SHOW AT THE CRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE … WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I’M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TO OUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME… THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I’M NOT CRAZY YALL, I’M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR TAYLOR AND I’M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!"

Saturday, September 12, 2009

I'll be speaking at the SOUTHERN INDEPENDENT BOOKSELLERS ALLIANCE (SIBA) TRADE SHOW on Friday, Saturday 25th at 11AM. So, if you (or anyone you know) is a local bookstore owner, come on by and give me a shout!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A couple days ago, I trotted down to my local "Hall of Justice" to try and have my boyfriend's recent traffic ticket revoked.

See, he was driving my car in Winston-Salem, NC. And since I've been in NYC for, say, the past 3+ years, I hadn't yet taken the time to renew my tags...

Ruh-roh. Maybe you can see where this is going...

Anywho. While driving my car, we're pulled over by a local good 'ol boy cop. He's very polite, and since I "look like a nice young lady and all," tells me that he must give my boyfriend a ticket but that, "if you call the District Attorney's office, they'll dismiss the ticket."

Literally, folks. Those were his exact words.

Anywho. A couple days later, I start calling the DA's office. After an entire week of my calling and being told to "leave a message and we'll call you back" by the DA's answering service -- with no one ever actually calling me back, of course -- I finally head down to take care of the ticket in person.

And what am I told when I arrive?

These are exact quotes, ya'll... get this:

DA Office Worker: "Cops lie all the time. I wouldn't trust what he said."

Me: "Um... well, then, how are citizens supposed to know the law if officers of the court -- whose job it is to enforce it and, thus, serve and protect the public -- blatantly lie?"

DA Office Worker: "No comment."

Me: "... Okay. So, what happens if my boyfriend won't be in the state of NC to show up in court about this ticket?"DA Office Worker: "I don't know. You may want to contact an attorney about that. I can't give legal advice."Me: "... Okay. Can you at least tell me if he'll get points on his driving record?"DA Office Worker: "I don't know."

Me: "Well, who would?"DA Office Worker: "Maybe the DMV."

Me: "Okay. Can I call them, or go down to their office and ask?"DA Office Worker: "I don't know. You may want to contact an attorney about that. I can't give legal advice."

Me: "I need to ask an attorney just to see if I should go down to the DMV?"

DA Office Worker: "Yeah. But they'll lie to you, too. You know, just so you'll pay the ticket and fees and all."

Me: "Um... how is all this lying to the public legal?"

DA Office Worker: "I don't know. You may want to contact an attorney about that. I can't give legal advice."

Friday, September 4, 2009

Priceline put the wrong name on my boyfriend's ticket, then wouldn't admit to their mistake, and also wouldn't refund our money. He missed his flight tonight, ruining our Labor Day weekend. I will never, ever use a third party ticket vendor again.

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Anna Fields is a North Carolina-based television writer, author, comedienne and confirmed “Rebel Deb.” She enjoys the usual twenty-something pleasantries: the occasional luge lesson, meat helmet, romantic dinner and late-night stroll with her boyfriend, Justin, and their overweight dog, Jax.

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