I've been in a situation similar to this. I had a platonic male friend for about 3 to 4 years. Originally he tried to talk to me and wanted to date me but I was not interested in him...Mainly because he's not my type mentally or physically. I let it be known several times that I only wanted to be platonic friends nothing more nothing less. Eventually he had no choice but to accept it. But over the years he's was constantly on my jock, saying eventually we're gonna be together, and saying "one day imma put a ring on your finger blah blah blah. But I'd shut it down every time and let him know I didn't see him like that.

Over the years I dated and had relationships, but he kept asking "damn when u gonna give me a chance etc". Sometimes I would talk about guys, and show him pictures of the guys I was dating at the time and he would always hate and make slick comments. Calling them "gay pretty boys" . So after a 4 yr friendship he finally came to the realization that I was never going to give him a chance. That's when his true colors came out.

I already knew from day one he was a grimey dude, but it didn't really faze me because he was always nice to me. Then he turned into a true assh0le. When we would talk he would constantly glorify Latinas and light skin chics as if that was supposed to make me jealous or feel insecure. Lmao. I'd be like dude GTFO no matter how hard u try, u can't make me feel insecure. I never felt that I had to be light skin in order to be attractive, because I've always been very pretty and I've always had high self esteem. Beauty comes in all shades, and nationalities. Thank God I was smart enough to know where the root of his hostility was coming from....its because I rejected him from day one. All this time dude was playing the friend role, thinking he could catch me at a weak vulnerable moment, then slide right in. Towards the end of our friendship he use to make soo many coon comments trying to get a reaction out of me. One night when we were chillin at my apartment he made the most disgusting coonistic comment, and I kicked him out my house!!

The more he would do this the less I would talk to him. It got to the point to where he would call me and I would purposely avoid answering his calls and text. Then finally one day I couldn't take it anymore, I had to let him know I was not going to tolerate this disrespect. I called him, letting him know as a friend I wanted to have a heart to heart talk about this issue. And dude flipped out on me. I was sitting there trying to talk to him and have a calm a logical conversation but no, he wanted to start cussing and acting like a hoodlum. So instead of arguing I just hung up the phone. Then about a hour later dude is on Facebook calling me all kindas of MFers! Even tho he didn't mention my name I knew he was talking about me. and I'm thinking wow, he was obviously never a real friend. So I sent him a personal message on facebook and let that n* have it !!! Then I ended the "friendship".

To the OP- I really think you should cut ties with this so called friend and just love him from a distance. He is clearly playing psychosocial games with u, and hes purposely trying to make u feel inadequate. There are some sick sadistic people in this world that enjoy controversy and making people feel bad about themselves. Dealing with people that suffer from The Willie Lynch Syndrome can be mentally damaging to the overall advancement of the human species. Its 2014, not 1865. If he prefers lightskin cool, but theres no need to gloat about it as if its some sort of badge of honor. And its blatantly insulting for him to take u to a restaurant, then say none of his girlfriends would entertain going there cause their on a higher level. That's basically saying your a Burger King combo, and the other chics he dates are a 5 Star meal from Ruth Chris. Please remove this oxymoron from your life.

Wow at your story! You know ... a lot of guys cannot take rejection. :(

Over the years I've had a few male 'friends' flip out on me for the same reason. This is the reason I don't entertain male friendships anymore.

Because in the end .. I find out they have been plotting all along thinking they would get more from me when I told them the deal from the very beginning - and I don't flirt etc.

If I were you, I would avoid this guy at all costs ... he sounds UNSTABLE.

^ yea its sad that some men have to play these types of mind games in order to get quality women. However, this lame tactic works on a lot of insecure females, which is NOT ME lol.... The OP needs to cut ties with this guy because a true friend wouldn't try to make you feel bad about yourself. A real friend should uplift you, not tear you down. He's obviously trying to get under her skin. And even thought their just friends he's treating her like she's 2nd class. Being around people like this is mentally poisoning.

Your friend seems insecure and plain mean. I would just tell him how I feel and explain to him that I would like to keep the relationship but something are going to need to change. I do not think it is a big deal he may just be really relax talking to up and feels he can be open to you. If it does really bother you that much, then let him know. If he is a real friend he will stop and your friendship will be able to continue. I am a true believer in that a girl and a guy can not have just a friend relationship, there is always something behind the whole Idea. I've learned that from experience.

Sorry but this the number 1 reason I lost respect for AA men a long time ago. :(

This guy .. just likes rattling off about what he likes and does not give a darn if what he is saying hurts your feelings. You are the same as a brick wall .. just someone he can 'talk at'.

Certainly this guy .. is no 'friend' of yours.

He enjoys this crap ... makes him feel good about himself. Why does get keep doing this? Well, he is bragging about his ability to be with these women. He knows how you look - he's not blind .. he just does not give a dam.

So now it's on you .. because you have to ask yourself WHY you are talking out of both sides of your mouth. On the one side, he is is your 'friend' that really is an alright guy .. but on the other side ... he is CLEARLY disrespecting you as a woman so how can a friend treat you in such a manner?

(This is what happens with women in abusive romantic relationships ... he is great .. but then he treat her badly and they stay with him .. because they don't realize that a guy is NEVER supposed to treat her badly. DUH!)

You just need to get him out of your social circle and find people to hang out with that are not damaged in this manner. It's up to you to walk because he will never change .. he is messed up in the head and this is quite common in the AA community .. something else you should know... though folks try to pretend otherwise.

If the friend is the same skin color as the op, he could be transferring his hate and disdain he has for his own skin color onto the op. most people that self hate will put down others that are like them and they don't realize they are doing that. .

This thread reminded me of a conversation I heard on the bus many years ago. Two black men were talking about some girl the other one was interested in. One of the men happened to be blind. The blind man asked if the girl was light-skinned...I was like really???? Your ass is blind and you're asking about someone's skin color? GTFO

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