You could suffer from “crippling video game fear.” It’s an uninspired name – hey, I didn’t invent it – but it’s tragic for victims.

Watch out for these symptoms when you near a video game:

Sweaty palms

Scratchy throat

Your heart pounds in your chest as if a worker was hammering a railway spike into it

Common Causes of This Condition

Playing while inebriated

Do I really need to explain this one? If you’re drinking too much, you probably won’t be able to hold a controller or mouse, much less beat a game.

Playing against a veteran gamer

They taunt, tease and beat you mercilessly. By beat, I mean both with their fists and in the game. You and your avatar need to keep ice handy for that.

Traumatic event where your avatar died in a game

You swore never to play a game again after it happened. You try to forget, but it keeps playing back in your head, like your brain was a theatre.

It all started at the arcade on a crisp autumn day. You fed the machine quarters until it burped so you could drive in Daytona USA. But you did more than drive. You lived through a nightmare.

It seemed like an innocuous turn around the corner. Then, the next thing you knew, another driver rammed your call against a wall. Sparks flew as high into the sky as you can imagine. The car called it quits. It flew into the air, landed on the road and exploded, killing the driver.

Everyone at the arcade pointed and laughed at you. They laughed loud enough to wake a video game zombie from the digital cemetery. Worse, the boy or girl of your dreams left you after your car exploded.

The nightmares still wake you up in the middle of night. An ice-cold sweat soaks your face and sports car shaped bed.

But the good news is that you don’t have to suffer. You can get help.

Treatment

Try the following:

Silly Billy Pills

Read the (fake) ad for these pills:

“Save the princess and impress a real girl with your skills. Try our pill! (*Note: We cannot guarantee this will impress her. In fact, the odds are against you.)”

Let’s Get Serious for A Moment (I know it’s Hard)

Take time to help others when they’re stuck in a game. Don’t call them a noob and laugh. Well, at least not all the time.

This is one small step toward improving the public’s perception of gamers. If we seem decent enough, it might encourage people to play video games for the first time. After all, don’t you like to try new hobbies with polite and patient people? I do.

4 responses to “Does The Sight of a Video Game Make You Shake in Your Shoes?”

Life of a gamer would be so lovely if people just took a second to talk instead of raging and calling names. Personally I always try to help others get into gaming, especially all the girls I know since it seems so much harder for them. They also get plenty discouraged if things don’t go well. Sometimes though I think tough love can do miracles n push people towards gaming. My brother always terrified me and beat me up relentlessly in games but it just made me more committed to practice and show him who is best 😀 guess different things work for different people

You’re right: “different things work for different people.” I agree that tough love can work for some people too. It worked for me when, as a kid, I played with my older brother and cousins.

But picture a grey 65-year-old, who can barely use the joysticks on a controller, on Xbox Live for the first time. They’re probably going to hear a lot of crazy stuff that’ll turn them off from gaming. They might even conclude that most gamers are rude and crazy. That bothers me.

It also bothers me that the 65-year-old people might never pick up a controller again. They never get to indulge in this great hobby all because of dumb incidents like that.

I want more people to get into gaming and take it seriously. Even better, those new fans could go on to make and design the next great games. They might even have wonderful ideas and perspectives that you and I don’t have.

I absolutely agree. I have to say one of the things I hate the most among gamers is the elitist concepts. “Only hardcore gamers are gamers”, “noobs should go to hell” “casual games are not games at all”. It’s really sad since as you say gaming is an enjoyable hobby and I think especially in case of a 65+ person it can have so many benefits for them if they just reach out and discover it. The problem is younger generations think it’s lame and they are more likely to laugh at their grandparents for wanting to get on track with technology instead of offering them assistance. I hope it changes soon but as far as I have been observing what’s happening among gamers they seem to become more polarized in their opinions. The current focus of developers on more casual experience for broader audience causes hardcore gamers to be even more hardcore and less accepting. At the same time the dumbing down of many productions leads to lesser experiences for many new players and a completely different perception of the entertainment. I can’t really say if it’s good or bad but it is incredible to observe from a scientific perspective.