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Stephanie’s Guide to Eurovision.

Stage 1. The Drinking Game.

The Shots.
1. If the presenter makes a joke that isn’t laughed at.
2. Gratuitous appearance of past Eurovision winner
3. Flowing white dress
4. Use of the following – wind machine, fog machine, fireworks, strobe lighting
5. The artists thanks Sweden, thanks everyone, and loves everyone. (one shot per phrase)
6. Bad English translation or singing in ‘English’
7. The setting looks like it was purchased from IKEA
8. Gratuitous eyebrow action
9. Abba reference
10. The reach and grab hand movement towards a camera.
11. A backup dancer falls
12. A blurb with Swedish travel tips or gratuitous sweeping Swedish landscapes.
13. Graham Norton references IKEA, Abba, meatballs, herring ….
14. You hear a cork popping in the commentary
15. Artist looks at the wrong camera.
16. Bagpipes.
17. They ‘cross to the green room’
18. 3 words – Bad Taste Fashion
19. Someone reaches a note not physically possible, audible to the human ear, or you hear a dog howl in response.
20. The singer has come from a reality TV show
21. It’s a female solo singer singing an ‘inspirational’ song or sounds like last year’s winner
22. Jedward are spotted
23. A country gives it’s neighbour TOP POINTS
24. The Netherlands gets 12 points
25. The act involves people on stage banging large drums or industrial objects acting as large drums
26. An item of clothing is removed on stage. 2 shots if it is removed by someone else.
27. The song has a climactic key change.
28. A reference to same sex marriage through song or actions
29. A kiss or a wink at a camera.
30. Nonsense lyrics in a song – UH OH, DING DONG …
31. And of course – One shot for “HELLO EUROPE!”