Pizza Perfume: For When You Want To Bring A Whiff Of Oregano Everywhere You Go

When Pizza Hut failed to brings its oft-discussed pizza perfume to full retail reality, it seems a space was created in the eau de food space-time continuum, waiting for some other product to waft in and fill the void. So of course, one company did, and thus we have $20 1-ounce bottle of pizza perfume on the market.

The company’s website admits that it’s a “departure” from its usual fare — despite the fact that Demeter also sells dirt, bourbon and earthworm as scents — and this one stretches “the boundary of the concept of wearable fragrance.”

“But we had to try – tomato sauce, creamy mozzarella, a touch of oregano – perfectly balanced for the adventurous.”

Yeah, or for the hungry who just can’t be eating pizza all day, every day because some people in society frown on that. Stupid society.

Anyway, Gothamist checked out a bottle of it and it sounds like the reviews are a bit mixed. On the one hand, pizza! On the other, smelling like you rolled around in pizza!

“It’s like what living with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles must smell like,” one staffer notes.

And another: “Crust. Slightly burnt. Few days old. The job is getting you down but you persevere. You haven’t tasted anything but mozzarella and tomato sauce in months. You’ve forgotten what the ocean smells like. The line between thin crust and thick crust seems monumental. Life is what happens when you’re too busy smelling like pizza. Fin.”

I don’t know if I’m intrigued, scared or hungry. Or all three. Someone hold me. And bring pizza.