And she looks at Lamees with sympathy in her eyes, Lamees thought she had imagined it. “She couldt feel sorry for me, it was because of them that my dream shattered into pieces.”

A week later, Lamees was in her car on her way to her friend’s house. Her phone rang, she saw the number. Without thinking she hit the flasher o ra7at 3ala 7arat il amaan. She stared down at her phone, in shock not believing what she was seeing. It was bader calling her. Then it stopped ringing. “Did that just happen? She kept on staring at it, why would he be calling me? isnt he getting married soon? Was he going to say goodbye? I’m not up for that!” She jumped when her phone vibrated in her hands, it was a message from him.

“What the hell have i done?! Why am i talking to him that way!?” She started crying so hard, that she couldnt see what was infront of her. She managed to get to her friends house, called her friend that she was outside, not knowing how her friend understood what she said mid-sobs. Her friend came running down, and saw lamees get out of her car her eyes and nose were bloodshot red. She ran and hugged lamees, and she collapsed in her arms.

Two days later Lamees was sitting in the living room, staring at the TV. She was still a body without a soul, she was a zombie. Her mother came and sat down next to her.

Mother: Lamees, intay mkalma bader?

Lamees: Ha? Laish?

Mother: oma dagat mara thanya.

“Bathbetlich ini mo chathab”

Lamees: Laish?!

And her mother smiled with tears in her eyes.

Mother: ya56ebech mara thanya.

Without thinking Lamees threw herself on her mothers lap and started crying, and screaming.

The next couple of days were not easy, everyone found out, her brothers and sister. Her aunts and uncles, everyone had a different opinion. Her brothers and father didnt talk to her, and her sister and aunts were on her side along with her mother. This was the final battle in this war. Everytime she saw her father she started begging him with her eyes, she flaunted her tears infront of him, just so that he would feel sorry for her and change his mind. But this time, it was different, she had hope. Her mother was with her, she had even spoken with Bader, talking about religon and everything, Oo Bader already gayel ina ohwa meste3ed ighayer mathheba 3ashani, o i3yalna ikonon 3ala mathhabna, Lamees didnt like that. She wanted him to have his own beliefs and out of that they’d manage and they would work it out. But he seemed to convince Lamees’ mother. And she was fine with that, just as long her mother was fine too.

Lamees fell into a deeper hole, omha sakerat kel el beeban ib wayha. But she didnt give up she kept trying, and trying for days and weeks and months. But when the problem grew, her father found out. He wasnt happy with his favorite child, she was always his favorite and hated to dissapoint him. But this time she crossed the line. And like her mother, sakar kil il beeban ib wayha. She had only one thing to do. To break up with bader, and break both their hearts.

It wasnt easy, infact it was one of the hardest thing she had ever done. It felt like she ripped her own heart out and stepped on it repeatedly. And what made it harder was, the last word she heard him say “Karahtich”.

She believed that, even if sounded fake she beleived it, cuz she hated herself too. She tried to be his friend, she tried to be there for him. But everytime she tried he drew further and further away. Now she was convinced that he hated her, just as much as she hated herself.

She saw him occasionally after they broke up, but he was cold, colder than ice. He wouldnt even look her way. She felt weak and defeated, she still loved him. And wondered how could he stop loving me that easily. She spent months and months crying herself to sleep, she wasnt alive, her parent felt guilty and treated her even better than before, they got her anything she wanted, the even got her a new car. But that didnt make her happy, she walked around like a lifeless creature, lurking in the halls, she kept herself busy with anything, and she got better grades and managed to raise her gpa and get on the honors list. Even THAT didnt make her happy, she even got a scholarship to get her masters abroad. THAT! didnt even make her happy eventhough it was another dream come true. But the dream she always wanted, will never come alive.

A year later, also on valentines day. She went out with her mother and sister, they were talking casually. And ofcourse her mother pulled out the marriage card.

This is by far the worst thing that might happen to her, just when she finally had her dream come true, and the guy that she loved all those years FINALLY returns that love for her.. It had to end. She wasn’t ready to lose her family over anything. It killed her, she went to her room shut the door and slammed on her bed, crying her eyes out. “I have to end it!” She sobbed repeatedly. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, they felt endless. Just like her love to him. Her phone rang, it was him. What was she going to do? She fought back her tears, and picked up the phone.

She felt as if her heart was torn out of her chest and cut up into pieces. But his words changed her mind, “I’m not going to give up” She thought, “The least i could do is try.”

That night Lamees cried herself to sleep, and dreamt that Bader got married and he lived happily with his wife, while she stood looking at them, staring, hear heart in pain, it seemed too real. This dream shook her up, she had to do something, soon.

Days passed, while she carried that burden on her shoulders. She carried the battle between the most people that she loved in her life, her family and the only man that she loved.

Bader noticed that she changed, he kept on asking her what was wrong? But she kept on making excuses or attempts to change the subject. Until one day he blew up on her.

She wanted to believe that, she wanted that to happen more than anything! But could it happen?

Another week passed oo ohma 3ala ib 7aala wayed sa3ba. She cried 24 hours a day, she didnt eat and didnt sleep. But bader seemed to have hope more than she did, and that made it harder for her. She didnt want him to have his hopes up.

One day Lamees was watching tv in her room, when she heard a knock on the door and it was her mother.

The next couple of weeks were just a blur, they were completely head over heals for each other. Lameescouldnt believe what was happening she felt that it was a dream, a dream that she wished she would never wake up from. He was more than she expected him to be more than she wanted him to be in her dreams, he did everything for her, imsaweelaha “ya dhaina la tenkatain”. And the most important part was that he was serious about her and had talked to his family again, 3ashan yetqademonlaha.

One of those days, Lamees was home watching tv with her family, thinking about bader ofcourse and how lucky she is. And to her luck that day, her niece and sister were over. They chatted for a while, when Mays (Lamees’ sister) got a phone call.

Lamees freezes. There was only one house ili a3arfa ib qe63a 6! It cant be his house!!

Lamees: aah… mayser il sayeg iwadeha?

Mays: haw shfeech! tawech btwadenha:s! yala 3ad wadeeha 3ashanii!!

Lamees: 5alas ok.

She was a duck on a pond, she seemed calm from the outside but underneath it all she was kicking the hell ut of herself! “I cant i cant take her there! what if hes there?! what am i supposed to do!…..SHIT!!” Her phone rang it was him.

Her heart was beating so fast it felt like she was running a marathon. She had to get out of it! she had to! Butcouldnt, she headed out of her house with her niece dana without calling bader so that he couldnt guess when will she be arriving. She managed to reach the block with the help of her sister’s directions. And her heart started beating faster and faster, “i’m going to see him” she thought over and over again. When she reached the street, she could see the most perfect outline of a body waiting for her, she tried to look away but the sight mesmerised her, she never knew he was that beautiful, that tall, that broad, that….hot. she

She reached the house and he walked towards her car while throwing the cigarette bud. All she could hear was her heart beating through her ears. She stared at him like he was something else, an extra terrestrial maybe. She felt like an idiot she was staring at him so hard that she forgot where the hell she was, he started talking and she couldnt hear him, he was laughing but she couldnt hear a thing. She thought she had gone deaf from the thumping of her heart.

Dana: 5alti ba6lay il dereesha shfeeeech!!!!!

Lamees: oh.

She finally opened it and to her extremely good luck he was laughing at her and she blushed. Well it felt like her face was burning.

Bader: gowa.

He wasnt talking to her.

Dana: igaweeek.

Bader: sh3endich yaya 3indena?

Dana: kaifiiiii:D

Bader: haha ya7lailich.

Then he looked at Lamees, her heart stopped. He stared right into her eyes, he was studying her face she felt it. She felt everything, she felt his eyes on her eyes, her cheeks, her nose… her mouth. She blushed more at that thought. It felt like it was the first time seeing him, he was more beautiful closer. His slightly dark hazel eyes glistened in the dark, his skin was so soft so tanned, his lips were full and perfect. He smiled at her, she smiled back and looked away. In merely seconds it was all over he leaned away from the window and opened the door for dana, while still looking at lamees. He shut the door turned away and put his arms around dana smiling, talking, laughing. She wished she was dana right now. He looked back at her flashed her a heart stopping smile and went in.

“I’m DEFINITELY dreaming!” She drove back home, day dreaming and in la la land.

Her Mother: ha ga6aiteeha?

Lamees: ee yuma.

Mother: ta2akadtay inha dashat?

Lamees:ee, *sigh*

Mother: mno ya 5athaha?

“Oh crap”

Lamees: Bader.

Mother: lail7en t7ebenaa?

And it all came crashing down on her in a matter of seconds.

Lamees: laa yuma.

Mother: 3abali b3ad.

How could she be this blind? How could she not see this coming when she actually knew this years ago! she knew exactly what her mom had said that time in the car. She practically said “atbara minich”.

She fell on the bed and felt her whole world came crashing down, she knew at that moment, that Bader and Lamees, might never be.

**to be continued**

Note: I'm so sorry for taking long to post its just that ive been feeling down the last couple
of days. Oo atmana inkom tsam7oni oo u like this part ;* Oo plus yatni zafa ams so purely o style
this one is for u ;** LUV U ALL BLOGOFRIENDS!!!!!!!

Something wasnt right. She wasnt convinced. He was lying she thought he must have! Why now why today? Is it a coincidence ina it was on valentines day? Wela nafs ma fakerat ina he was lonely o lega another lonely person?

Lamees: u still do??? shlon ya3ni u still do?

She started losing her temper, she was convinced that he was lying and playing with her emotions.

She was definitely dreaming, she started to smack her face a little to wake up, but she didnt this was real. It’s happening now. He told her that he liked her, the guy that she fell in love with all those years is confessing his feelings for her on MSN! Why arent i happy she thought? Why arent i smiling at least?!

Lamees: i dont believe you.

She spat out. She wanted to be cruel and she wanted to hurt him, and she couldnt explain why.

She took a moment to think about it, it was true, he didnt used to go to his grandmothers house ila after a while. He used to look at her and stare at her, but her insecurity was so stubborn to believe.

Bader: well i do. Oo now i know you dont have someone, am not going to stop trying. Do you know il shi3oor ili u see someone and u dont know them well, bas u feel ina that person belongs to you no matter what?

She had no idea what she was waiting for. She stared at her phone in her hands, still in shock and still motionless, except for her heart that was beating so hard she felt it through her throat. She received a msg and saw it.

It was valentines day, and lamees was home. Single. Again. She signed in MSN, and HE was online. She was too deppressed to talk to him. But she wondered why was he online at this time? It’s already 5, he should have left work by this time. And she heard the beeping sound of msn, and her heart stopped for a mini second. It was him.

Bader: Hii..

Why was it so hard to believe that he was talking to me she thought. Is it cuz i havent talked to him for ages? Shisalfa shel 6ari?

Bader: Are you there?

“Oh lail7en ga3ed ikalemni!”

Lamees: halaw, yeah am here.

Bader: Shlonich?

Lamees: il 7imdela u?

Bader: am ok.

Lamees: Good:D doom.

She was breathless, why was this so hard?! mo awal mara akalma!! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN!

She couldnt believe what was happening she was finally talking to him, he said her name, he was directing every sentence, every word, for her. Finally she felt acknowledged, he was asking wain tadresen? shlon il derasa? HE WAS INTERESTED.

Sara: inzain ana a5alekom baro7 anam.

Lamees: ok Good night.

Bader: Good night.

Sara leaves the conversation and leaves bader and lamees alone. Just when Lamees wanted to close the window too…

Bader: 3adi asaweelich add?

3aaaaaaaaadi oo baaaaaaaas ?!?! ASHKARA EEEEEEEE!!!!!

Lamees: sure, 3adi 🙂

And they started talking for what felt like forever. She knew everything about him and he knew everything about her in that one conversation. It hadnt hit her that she was talking to bader yet. She felt that she was dreaming, and wished to never wake up from it. The sun came up and they have been talking freely for hours. It was time to end it.

The most wonderful conversation ended, and Lamees went to bed with a smile on her face, thinking that tomorrow is a whole other day.

The first thing she did when she woke up was log on. He wasnt online, she changed her status to busy and walked away, and waited for him to log on. He didnt. Not for a long time, and paranoia hit her hard. Did he block me? Was i that lame? ta7asaf laish he talked to me? did i do something wrong?

Weeks passed and she finally saw him online, they talked but it wasnt the same as the first time they did. It was different, BUT WHY!? She had no idea why their conversations went downhill like that. masra3 ma he lost interest? it stayed like that until he graduated and came back to kuwait. He signs on msn for a couple of minutes or hours once every two weeks or so. oo ihya tan6era online 3ala a7ar min il jamer everyday. Just to say hi and bye. fe days where he doesnt even talk to her. O sar he only joins msn when he’s at work.

She felt invisible again, and wondered what happened.. akeed sar shay that changed his mind. What was it?

Lamees couldnt believe her ears. What was the big deal!? Just when she thought her life couldnt suck any more it did. “Shsawee ya3ni, galbi faz 7ag hatha oo bethaat hatha!” She sat quite during the whole ride with her mom, and her mom lecturing her on mathaheb oo hal 5arabee6 that lamees didnt find that important.

————————————————————————————-

Lamees: Shsawee ya3ni i cant stop thinking about him!!!

Said lamees to her best friend and cousin, she told her what had happened between her and her mother. And how Bader went off to london. And how painful that was not having to see him around anymore or hear anything about him.

Lamees: just a crush !!! shlon just a crush?! u see me ana im always thinkng about him he is always on my mind!!!

Mariam: madri wala, maybe ur different. I dont know isara7a.

7ub afla6ooni?! Thought lamees, shlon ya3ni i dont really love him. Hes been on my mind for 4 years, hes been the guy ili i always see in my dreams, shlon its not real!?

But she was more doubtful than she thought, mariams words sank in harder than she thought she began to question weather if it was just a crush or an obsession or true love. It was her final year in highschool, and its been months since hes been gone and she had heard nothing from him. No matter how hard she tried to get news from her sisters or his cousins, she just couldnt get anything out of them.

————————————————————————————-

Time passed and Lamees went to college where she met many guys here and there, she tried to get Bader off of her mind but she couldnt she just pretended that he didnt exist anymore. She was 18, and guys came from allover either proposing or simply te7eresh. She didnt want anyone in her life, her mind thought that she should have fun during this time, go wild, meet guys, get crazy. But she knew deep down in her heart Bader still set camp in there, and was lighting a bon fire, that surely made her heart burn by the thought of him.

One of those memorable nights, Lamees was chatting on msn with her friends, one of her friends was Bader’s “more than the usual slutty cousin”, who was telling her how she had feelings to one of her relatives and that she was trying to “it6ay7a” but couldnt cuz ohwa mayabeeha. EE FIHMAY!! mako fayda.

He was Bader, isim 3ala mosama she thought. She kept asking herself who is he, he better be someone she could see every day. Millions and millions of questions ran through her mind. She forgot the pain she was in and kept wondering. Mno hatha? cham 3umra? sheser 7ag m7amad (rayel i5it’ha)?

Is he looking at me? No, he couldnt be? why me? she looks behind her mako a7ad. She denied his looks and thought to herself, no way he’d be looking at me hes to good looking. “shyabi feeni ana?!”

The wedding was over, her sister went off to her honey moon and she never felt this lonely before, the house was different, Kuwait was different. However, the biggest reason that put her down was the thought of bader. Her heart ached everytime she thought about him, she was convinced she was in love.

Time passed by her sister came back and all went to normal. She started hanging out her sisters house much, she still didnt see him though, even though he was her brother in laws’ nephew. He was supposed to be there in the family gatherings waina?! She started to be friends with all his cousins and especially his sisters. She loved them so much, she loved his parents, and every time they mention his name her heart skips a beat, and apparently he was a popular guy around their extended family cuz it seemed that every girl who knew he existed had a crush on him.

But she thought she was different, she was in love with him, even though she only saw him once. He entered her heart and managed to sit there and set camp. Bader, Bader, Bader she thought. and more of that name every where, he was an illusion she could never get rid of an obsession that will never part. His name was all over her diaries, her notebooks, she played how their first conversations might go when she finally meets him. (you know sowalif morahaqa;p)

Months, LONG months passed, where she became better friends with his sister, and his slutty cuznz, she didnt mind cuz she thought they might someday bring me closer to him.

Their families have decided to rent chalets in khiran resort, she must see him there she has to!

And she did. She was walking towards her chalet and saw him in the chalet next to them, was he staring at me? she didnt know, she had her head down. She was scared to death and felt her heart beating in her ears. She walked faster and he walked parallel to her. IS THIS HAPPENNG?! she sped up and walked faster to her chalet, and felt his eyes on hero. She ran the last two steps to the door and slammed it after her! she just stood there staring at the door.

“Lamees!”

She turns so quickly her head starts to spin, breathless staring at her mother.

“Haw, shfeech?”

“wala shay”, she blushes and runs up to her room, locks the door and lays down on the bed. Did that just happen? was he looking at me? or was it cuz i was the only one there? DID THAT JUST HAPPEN!!!?

Years and years passed by, her obsessions of bader grew as she did, not a day passed without thinking about him. She had seen him tons of times, many times where he stared at her but yet again her lack of confidence made her believe that he was looking at the picture frame behind her, or just simply staring at the air that happens to be next to her. She never talked to him, but had countless conversations with him in her mind. She used to cry herself to sleep, she cries asking why couldnt this be any easier?

Little did she know, it was going to get much harder. Harder than she thought, he was travelling to london to study abroad. Her world fell apart, she wouldnt see him every thursday anymore, how on earth is she going to know hows he doing or is he sleeping or eating well?

The music was too loud; she was too tired, too traumatized. She felt like losing a part of herself, she had to say goodbye, tonight. She was more than a sister to her, she felt like she was her second mother and her close friend. She had to fake a smile during the whole ceremony, she had to. It was her sister’s wedding. She had to be happy for her sister, because she finally married the man that she loved. The man that her family tried to keep them apart from each other but failed.

She remembers exactly how her sister looked when her dad said that she will never marry this man. She remembers exactly how many days her sister spent crying on that pillow of hers, and she remembers exactly how happy she was when her father finally gave in. All that heartbreak for a reason that Lamees loathed, a reason that seemed so ignorant. “Shno ya3ni sena oo shee3a?!”, she thought.But it didn’t matter now; she was losing one of her favorite people in the whole world.

Mays is getting married and she’s happy now, I’m happy for her. Lamees is only 13 years old she was young at heart, but acted older than her age when she wanted to.Her trail of thought was cut off by the song that makes her sad and happy and scared and excited all at the same time. It’s time for her sister to come and walk, that walk where every single girl wishes that it were she instead of the bride. “hab il sa3ad” was playing, and the most beautiful creature walks in, her eyes start to fill up with tears at the sight of her sisters beauty, she always knew that her sister was more beautiful, but never knew that she is that breathtaking.

After she sat on the “kosha” she waved to call Lamees, they hugged and cried.Mays asked Lamees to stay by her side, until the groom comes. She happily accepted and waited, and didn’t want this moment to pass. But it did. In he came, he looked so handsome, and a huge crowd came in after him.

At this moment every girl in the room shifted and moved to get a better look at the most eligible bachelors. Lamees didn’t care at this moment. But some one caught her eye, his eyes to be precise. He was looking at her, and at that moment when their eyes met. It felt like an eternity, in that moment she felt that she fell in love got married and got old with that guy. Who was he?

***To Be Continued***

Note: Ok, this is the surprise I was telling you about. It’s not much but I know how much I love these stories, and am hoping that you guys do too. The only questions that I’m not going to answer are: is it a true story? Is this your story? I just prefer to keep that fact on the low.