Scott and I set out about 9:30, and we got home with Cordelia a bit after 8:00. It was a really long drive. Scott and I listened to podcasts and an audiobook on the way up. The Hamilton soundtrack played the entire way back because Cordelia finds it soothing and because Scott and Cordelia both sing along with the whole thing.

We got to the area near Interlochen about an hour before we were to pick Cordelia up, so we got lunch at the only restaurant we could find. It wasn't terrible. It also wasn't great. I finished my meal still feeling hungry and without any options for more food.

The Interlochen campus is really nice. I'd have liked to look around more (and the unclaimed Ingress portals only had a little bit to do with it), but Cordelia was really eager to get out of there.

Scott's parents invited us to stop by on our way home, and we did. The timing worked out that we arrived a little after 6:00, so they fed us dinner-- chicken, asparagus, mashed potatoes, and salad.

I dropped my Ativan tablet last night and couldn't find it (those things are tiny!), so I slept without it. I was exhausted enough that I slept soundly until Scott's alarm. After he got up, I didn't get back to sleep until he left. That wasn't because of him. It was me feeling too warm then too cold then having my neck hurt then... Well, on and on.

My allergy trouble hasn't come back. I'm hoping it won't, but the cleaning lady coming today may set me off again because the various cleaning products cause me problems breathing (one of the big reasons we have her come in).

I took this video today, the video part isn't really important, it's the sound that's the reason I made this.

In the video there's basically just a view of the yard. If you squint you can probably see one of the squirrels on the white fence post, on the right. There is at least one other squirrel making noise here, but not seen.

I enhanced the sound, because it was a little soft straight from my ipod touch, so it may be a little loud, not sure. It's hard for me to judge sound volume because I'm hard of hearing.

So this is the sound of multiple squirrels "yelling" They are so loud and it's a weird screeching sound that is so weird if you're not used to it. Actually I still find it weird, and I've heard it a lot, several times today even.

The reason for their alarm this morning was a lurking cat (not seen in the video).

Prepare and teach a class on Judaism in period - I'm reading a book on the Khazars although this is not the class I planned. This may wind up being a second class and I'll still do the one I planned though.

Post 100 situations prompts to AO3 - Well I had some difficulty figuring out how to do it on AO3 so I'm putting it on ff.net.

30 entries to monthly diary day - yep posted this month.

30 new kiva loans - did that on the 15th, I made a loan to Zamiyya Natalia for education expenses in the Dominican Republic.

Read 3 books on the Kyivan Rus - there may not be 3 English language books on the Kyivan Rus. I'm searching. Though I'm currently reading a book on the Khazars which mentions them, and I'm counting.

Listen to 90 podcasts - I listened to one about whether we've historically had a right to privacy in this country. Spoiler alert: that's a no.

Well, I can add this to my mental list of classics that are more famous for their concepts then the actual writing. I like it well enough when the uneven tone doesn't make me want to pull my hair out? However, this is a dystopia that I could do without given current events. Good thing it's only 300 pages.

The Prince of Medicine: Galen in the Roman Empire by Susan P. Mattern

Interesting, for a biography of an antiquity era privileged white man. (Actually, I take the white part back. There were plenty of non-white people in high ranking positions in the Roman world. We just know that Galen was born in Greece.) Galen had an ego the size of the solar system. Also contains descriptions of the sanitary conditions in Rome that are as disturbing as they are fascinating.

What did you just finish reading?

A Dance With Dragons by George R. R. Martin

This book further proves my point that the series hit its peak with A Storm of Swords. I mean, it was good, but could have been so much better if GRRM had used an editor. And what is it with his obsession with missing fingers? More to come if I ever make that giant post about ASOIAF.

What do you think you'll read next?

Definitely Anansi Boys. I also plan to continue Kushiel's Legacy. I regret giving away my copy of Kushiel's Dart, as I could use it for worldbuilding reference.

I've been itching to read a good urban fantasy novel...or epic fantasy...or sci-fi that isn't depressing. My kindle is full of such material. I've decided that I will quit buying books after my birthday in October, until I've read at least half of the content on my Kindle. Things have gotten ridiculous.

There's a job interview tomorrow morning that I'm trying and failing not to be pessimistic about.

Hello, I'm kadma and it takes but one gander at my profile to see I love femslash! Below, you'll find a list of my general likes and do not wants, followed by a short paragraph per fandom of prompts / suggestions, all of which are optional.

General Likes:

PWP / smut

feelings / introspection

missing scenes / codas

in-character dialog

Do-Not-Wants:

illegal drugs (inc. marijuana)

animal abuse / death

alpha / beta / omega and bestiality

bodily fluids (kink and non-kink)

pregnancy & kid-fic

first person POV

out of character characters

crossovers / aus

REQUESTS

Faking It (2014)

Lauren Cooper / Zita Cruz

Karma Ashcroft / Zita Cruz

Amy Raudenfeld / Reagan

I am smitten by Zita Cruz. Lauren and Zita seem so compatible to me: anything goes with these two. Banter. First kiss. Lingerie shopping. Lauren developing feelings for Zita post-canon, despite dating Liam Booker. Zita attending a class taught by Lauren on how to create a successful brand. It's all good. I also loved the fact Zita kissed Karma to see what the fuss was about, so if Zita catches Feelings for Karma, I see lots of pining and angst waiting to happen.

WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment)

Sasha Banks / Bayley

Alicia Fox / Eva Marie

Bayley / Carmella

Ember Moon / Asuka

Nikki Cross / Asuka

Ruby Riot / Nikki Cross

Bayley and Sasha have been adorably affectionate recently and they’re cute together. Alicia and Eva is a ship I discovered by writing them and their “opposites balance each other out” vibe is what I love the most. I'd love to see how a long-term arrangement plays out between them: who invites whom over to their place first, who cooks something the other is allergic to and has to spend the night at the hospital with them, who likes red wine and who likes white? Ember Moon and Asuka have a spark, which I’d love to see explored. Does Asuka really look down on Ember or is it a facade to hide her true feelings? Or, you know, smut and good sex for all these ladies is great too.

Pretty Little Liars

Spencer Hastings / Aria Montgomery

Hanna Marin / Mona Vanderwaal

For these ships, I love the idea of Spencer coming to terms with her feelings for Aria, despite Aria being in a controversial relationship with Ezra. Would she act on her feelings, or stifle those feelings by lying to herself? Hanna and Mona being adorable girlfriends in the wake of Alison’s disappearance is a scenario I love. Anything that shows the intimacy of their relationship from either party’s eyes would be wonderful. Also, angst awaits the reveal of Mona as the original A and her reasons for targeting all the Liars!

H2O: Just Add Water

Cleo Sertori / Rikki Chadwick

Bella Hartley / Cleo Sertori

Emma Gilbert / Cleo Sertori

Rikki Chadwick / Bella Hartley

Rikki Chadwick / Emma Gilbert

Post-series introspection and relationship dynamics between these characters are some of my favorite things. Rikki developing feelings for Cleo after Emma leaves, as an unhealthy coping mechanism. Bella looking up to Rikki as a successful woman (and mermaid!) and attempting to ask her out, only to be thwarted by Shenanigans. Emma and Cleo’s years together as close friends: first hand-hold, first sleepover, first kiss.

Fresh Off The Boat

Honey / Jessica Huang

Honey and Jessica have such a wonderful friendship in the show, so I’d love to see the scales tip towards romance. Some ideas: Honey developing a crush on Jessica but convincing herself it’s only a very, very, very deep friendship, Jessica drunkenly confessing to Honey how pretty she is, and how her lips look so soft. Honey and Jessica holding hands or singing duets in an alternate universe where there are no families, no men or boys holding them back. Jessica giving Honey a massage and marvelling at how lovely her skin is. Honey proving to Jessica that her favourite hangout is a gay bar by kissing her, to the cheers of the regulars.

Hopefully, these prompts gave you an idea of what sort of stuff I like. Happy femslashing! <3

I slept pretty badly last night. I was still sneezing and all that, so I couldn't use the c-PAP. I seem to be doing better in that regard this morning, but I woke when the Benadryl wore off in the middle of the night.

Our current best guess as to the problem is a combination of dust, ragweed, and the c-PAP. The dust and ragweed wouldn't normally give me this much trouble, not at the levels they've been at. I think that my sinuses have been irritated by the c-PAP and so are more reactive to other things. I haven't had a summer this bad for allergies since I was in high school.

All of my plans for the week, such as they were, have been shot to hell. They mainly consisted of writing and watching DVDs that can't be renewed (I have about fifty hours of lectures on DVD that can't be renewed) and more writing.

We have a very long day ahead of us as we'll be heading up to Interlochen to bring Cordelia home. (There are reasons for this that I'm not willing to go into in a public post.) It's been a hard decision, and I still need to make some phone calls about it. Part of me wants to go back to bed and to send Scott on his own, but that would be unfair to him. He could do it. He would, too, if it was necessary, but I can go.

We plan to get on the road as soon as we're both dressed and both have had breakfast.

I keep finding books to add to my master list of things-to-read, and discovering that said books are the second, sometimes third, book that an author has written - and I have their first one from a few years ago on my list.

Things stay on my list for a LONG TIME, yes. XD

In cat news, Cinders had a bad night last night. She likes to burrow under the throw on top of my blankets and pretend that she's a ... I dunno, a sandworm or something. So she did that, and she was playing "got your hand" with me, when Jesse snuck up and whapped her on the head.

Then after she recovered from that, Sam kicked her as he was stretching. And then Gidget jumped off the top of my bookcase and landed on her, full-weight. Poor girl scrambled out of the blankets, all wide-eyed and trembling. It took ages to calm her down!

I bought a vid at the Vividcon Auction, from the lovely and talented grammarwoman! My music tastes are eclectic and nonstandard (basically, everything BUT modern popular pop/rock and modern country--it's not that I don't like them, it's that it all tends to blend together and sound the same), and I don't vid, which means there are a lot of songs that I think would make AWESOME fanvids that I know nobody will ever make, sigh. (Okay, some of them might get made. I'm actually surprised that nobody's done a Spock vid to The Logical Song by Supertramp, or a Goa'uld vid to Jeepers Creepers by Louis Armstrong. Others ... I might think a werewolf vid to the old Big Band classic "Moonlight Becomes You So" would be hilarious, but I doubt anybody else would think it was funny enough to spend the time and effort to make, particularly given that it's a slow song and most vids are done to upbeat/fast songs.)

Anyway, I have a number vid ideas that will never get made if I don't pay someone else to do it, and so I'm always on the lookout for vid auctions featuring vidders offering those sources that I think would do a creditable job with the idea. Which is how I bidded on (and ended up winning) grammarwoman's services to make a Star Wars fanvid to that old American Civil War hit, "That's What's the Matter." And she did a really great job, and the vid is SO FUNNY. You have to go see.

The issue itself isn't out yet, but many of the personal essays about disability and science fiction are available for free on the Kickstarter page. They're all good, and you should totally check them out. Here are some of my faves:

Science fiction shapes generations—how we think, the way we act. It influences the careers we choose and our thirst for knowledge. It cautions against the worst of our impulses, and quietly teaches us empathy. Without knowing it, we are slowly acclimated to people and beliefs that live outside our rigid monocultures.

So, I'll let you in on a secret, the thing I've learned about having a life-long disability, the thing that lots of stories never quite grasp: The real trick, the true solution to a disability, is to find a balance between your abilities and your goals.

I live in this world. I can't toss my white cane aside when I need to spring into action: the cane goes with me everywhere. I travel around my city on public transportation. My other senses are not supernaturally sharper because I am blind. I simply pay better attention to those other senses. It's a learned skill. I live within my blindness every day, and I want to read about fictional characters who also live with and within their blindness.

I have a major balance disorder. When I am awake and able to use all my senses, I can reason out the vertical. If you make me close my eyes, I can still get it to within about five degrees of the correct answer if I'm sitting still on a firm surface. If I’ve got a squishy surface, motion, or other things confusing my senses, doubtful. Asleep? All bets are off. I literally do not know which way is up.

Since I have read and written science fiction for decades, what my sleeping brain knows to do with this much disorientation is to process it into a malfunctioning space station. And so I dream. Occasionally my dreams veer into carnival rides, roller coasters, giant swooping swings. But that is someone else's genre. This is mine.

I narrowly avoided the temptation to throw my Kindle and watch the book shatter into a million plastic pieces. If it had been a printed paperback, I’m positive I would be able to show you the dent in the wall. “For the record,” I tweeted out to the hashtags The Expanse was using, “you can be a fucking Valkyrie in a goddamn wheelchair.” I can assure you that any human with the wherewithal, sheer willpower, and pain tolerance to put her skeleton back into place on an hourly basis absolutely deserves a place in any mythological pantheon.

As an example, I once asked a room full of authors what their response would be if I asked them to make the protagonist in their current Work-in-Progress a woman – most nodded, yesses were heard around the room. Then I asked if they could make their character a person of color – again, nods around the room. Then I asked if they would make the character disabled – silence. The discomfort was palpable. In theory diversity and disability was great to include in fiction but when it came to implementation, they couldn’t easily connect disability with their protagonist. They had trouble adjusting to the practical reality of disability existing outside of the boxes they knew. This is why 134 stories on Amazon could be broken down into five story categories.

When I read #ownvoices autistic characters, I often think the authors have had that same feeling. Many of these characters have devoted family, friends, romantic partners, even when the world at large is awful to them. Most of them first have to overcome a broken relationship with themselves. To learn to believe that they're worthy as they are.

With autistic characters written by NT authors, it often feels like everyone is tired of their shit from the start.

You don't have to be tough. People sometimes say things like, "If you can be discouraged from writing, you should be," and use that as a way to justify being unkind to people who are tender. I don't think it's meant as a cudgel against disabled people specifically, but it can function as one. If you doubt your abilities, if you are sometimes crushed, if you feel like an impostor—that's fine. It's normal. If only tough people wrote stories, then we'd only have their perspectives, and we would lose all the things other people—you—have to offer.

I was glad I didn’t have this unfortunate internalized disableism stilling my movements, but I didn’t know why I’d found it so easy to make the switch until I sat down with my little boys to watch The Dark Crystal, which I hadn’t watched in decades.

I didn’t know. It took my breath away. The reason why I am fine with moving like this, the reason I am fine with people staring and why I love myself this way, is because of The Dark Crystal.

The issue is more than fully funded, right now they're adding content left and right as more people pledge, and if they get to $45k (they're at $39,425 with 9 days left to go) they'll do a hardcopy of it for supporters pledging $50 or more.

I'll be going to Medequip tomorrow to try on some different masks. The idea is to find something that won't irritate my sinuses to the point of days of sneezing. The current one doesn't provoke that all of the time.

I want to nap, but my sinuses are still in rebellion. I'm not sure if it's the c-PAP or the ragweed or the dust from cleaning. It might be all three. I used my neti pot (I don't very often, just when I'm worried that something like dust or pollen might be setting me off).

The orientation session last night was a bit overwhelming. Too many people, no AC, and lots of stairs.

All of the staff members specified their pronouns. None of them used anything but the he set or the she set, but I'm glad they did it because it's entirely possible that there were kids in the audience who needed reassurance that their pronouns will be respected.

We found someone who wants the Legos that I washed/bleached on Sunday. Scott's sister's SIL's church can use them. She's willing to pick them up. We still have a few other things to give away/donate.

My mother has sent me a url for the parts we need to repair the love seat and chair in the basement. I just need to measure the pieces of the support straps we've still got to make sure we order the right things. I don't know how long it will be before Scott has time to do the work, but getting the parts is the first step.

I'm really done in. If you've sent me something in last few days that requires thought, I might manage it tomorrow, but it's not going to happen today.