November 11, 2009

paintings of the pole: volume 2

who's ready for the next installment of "i'm supposed to be able to do WHAT NOW in pole class!?" complete with crappy ms paint drawings? well, aren't you in luck!

as you may recall from last time, i was freaking out over the prospect of holding myself upside down without the benefit of oh, say, my hands. now that we're supposedly pros at that (heh, no pun intended) we've moved on to doing MORE things while holding on with just our legs.

i'd like to take a quick moment to remind everyone how insane that statment is. HOLDING ON. TO A POLE. using just your thighs and the searing, indian-burn-like sensation your skin experiences while supporting your entire body weight via friction against metal.

ok then! moving on, we have the newest insanity we learned in class this week. it starts out with you doing a handstand to the pole.this part isn't actually too ridiculous, honestly. i'm still a little skittish about doing it without someone behind the pole to spot me, since, you know, you can't see your feet to make sure they're aiming at the pole when you're throwing them over your head to get into the handstand, but as long as there's someone there to grab your feet and make sure they connect with the pole, it's pretty non-alarming.

the next part, which is alarming, is that you clamp your legs and feet around the pole, sit up, and grab it with your hands.please to excuse the clearly innacurate physiology here, because this part is so ridiculous i couldn't actually figure out how to draw the body to make it happen even in THEORY. the sitting up part? not too hard. the sitting up part WHILE HOLDING ONTO THE POLE WITH YOUR THIGHS SO YOU DON'T FALL OFF and/or SLIDE DOWN IT? insane.

this is maybe a little tmi (um, as opposed to the pole dancing part..?) but the insides of my thighs, my knees, and the tops of my feet are covered in bruises from me clamping on for dear life while my poor little sensitive inner thigh skin cries pitifully in pain. it's hot, believe you me.

I totally ♥ your drawings.1) I can do the standing up part, although the figure is too skinny to be me.2) I keep thinking that if a person goes up for the headstand and misses, it would be very. bad. indeed. Worse than a boy & a bike accident kind of bad.3) Ever since my surgery 9 years ago, I can't do a regular sit-up.

Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT tell my husband about this class. He would totally aspire to have me sign up for it. And it ain't gonna happen.

OMG, you are my hero. That looks and sounds so effing painful. It reminds me when I took trapeze dancing classes, I lasted 2 sessions since I got my hands and feet destroyed, it sounds like this is not any better...