Donut Shop Etiquette

Since it is the last work day (and a half day at that) for the year, I stopped to get a couple dozen donuts for the gang. We have a great small chain of donut shops here in Phoenix, that I am happy to patronize.But there are some people that just don’t get it. Ordering is simple. You walk up to the counter, wait your turn, and order. Some friendly peddler of fat pills will be glad to put as many as you want in a bag or box, take your greenbacks and send you on your merry way.

The rules:

What is on display is what they have. If they have no boston cremes in the display, that is a pretty good indicator that they are out until more are made. No amount of telling the counter worker to “check again in the back” and exhortations of “are you really sure?” isn’t going to make it so.

If you don’t hover around the counter, you won’t get served. It is assumed that they serve those browsing the glass cases in a first come first served fashion. If you walk directly up to the register, wishing to order from there, don’t be surprised when the staff doesn’t recognize your precedence. And don’t get uppity with the other people who are following the rules, and waiting their turn in front of the displays. (this is always an older, likely retired person)

If you are ordering more than a few donuts, for the love of god, do not use the frigging drive through.

Corollary to #3 above. If you are going to be rude enough to order two dozen donuts via the drive through, let the damn staff choose the ones to include. Don’t insist on picking them one by one.

Don’t bitch about their coffee. Yep, it is standard, coffee service coffee, probably delivered by Sysco or Keystone. It isn’t some gourmet shit. You don’t go there for the coffee, you go there for the donuts.

Seems simple, but I am astounded at how many ‘muricans fail to know the rules.

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