Béatrice Martin – Living in the public eye with body dysmorphia

“From endless shows, to endless public appearances, the body dysmorphia set in. I would change outfits a thousand times, counted every stretch mark and my clothes felt like burns on my limbs. I compared, and compared over and over again until I convinced myself that I was unlovable. “

NAME: Béatrice Martin

AGE: 29

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My body used to be nothing to me, it used to be but a mere vessel to conduct my daily services or activities. I never gave a lot of thought about the way I looked when I was younger, if anything I covered it in ink just to make it more interesting. It grew with me as I got older, and I didn’t take care of it properly in my very reckless youth. Life wasn’t my priority, and the shell that was my body wouldn’t be a barrier between me and my mind’s emancipation. But one day that mind took over.

From endless shows, to endless public appearances, the body dysmorphia set in. I would change outfits a thousand times, counted every stretch mark and my clothes felt like burns on my limbs. I compared, and compared over and over again until I convinced myself that I was unlovable.

Then I remembered what my body went through.

It felt deceipt, it felt life and death, and it went through physical or emotional abuse. It gave life, and it took it too. It was a powerful tool to gauge when my emotions were too much for me, and I needed to remind myself that no matter how much I hated it, my body was my hero when my mind couldn’t be.