the roads were really busy on the way to work today, but I'm not all that bothered - next week should be half term and the week after that we are moving to out new office a couple of miles from my house so I'll be able to walk to work and never care about school holidays again.

we have got a trip out to the new office this afternoon, which i'm hoping means i can leave work a bit early as it's scehduled to be at 4pm and i can';t imagine it will take me over an hour to look at a singe floor office and go. "oh". that said, talk of light refreshments has tickled my tate buds somewhat

...I'm clearly going to be sat next to the directors :(

last night i had an amazing axtion adventure dream where i was an x-men (i've only seen one of the movies once and that was ages ago, so i made loads of shit up that wasn't at all x-meny) and it was like an origins movie and we were like watching a movie about something and then it turned out we were the movie and then we were kidnapped, but we escaped and then did some shit and there was like some double agent and i had an invisibility cloak and i think some other really cool shit happened and someone tried to throw a cricket bat through a letter box at me, but he missed.

We have to make our own questions for the Japanese Society essay, so I emailed my proposal and was completely shot down (like, every aspect pf the question). I don't even get it. The exam questions are all a nightmare for me (no actual questions, just "discuss x, y or z", and my brain doesn't work in that way). Also, it's a stupid subject in which we're expected to write about how everything in Japan is so unique and it's just such a ~*~special.snowflake~*~ FML.

So I kind of want to switch to Japanese/Korean politics, but I started it last time, and it's so intense, there's so much reading and expectations are so high. And it only takes place in the lent and easter terms. And last years they needed three terms to get the course finished. So it'll be rushed and chaotic and might give me a meltdown. But at least I'd learn things.

SOMEONE CHOOSE FOR ME

A) Stick with society, stress more over getting a question sorted, write about how Japan is a fascinating place of tOtAlLy UnIqUe culutral phenomena, and be a bit 'wtf do I even write...' in the exam.

or

B) Take politics from next term, learn interesting things and have proper questions that you can give actual answers to in the exam, but have a horrific amount of reading and stress during revision time.

I'd go for the one that I would find more interesting and stimulating. I say this with the benefoit of hindsight though- I picked easy subs so i could party hard, do no work and still get a decent degree. I'd rather have read harder but more interesting subjects and got a lower class of degree.
Or would I. Oh I don't know.
pocketmouse, go with your gut feeling.

Second day of my week off. Thoroughly pleasant. Listening to Bats, drinking coffee, about to cook eggs benedict. Got the last three episodes of Lost to watch. Might pop into town, get a couple of books. Meeting up with my brother and an old mate I haven't seen for a couple of years for beers this evening.
Leisurely scenes.

and I have a mad busy weekend and wanted to make a roast dinner on Sunday.
Should be good though. Last time I went to wembley was for some england friendly and they had this massive long pork pie thing and I ate so much of it. It was great. I hope they do that again.

There's a practical test (I work in digital development) which I'm absolutely bricking it over. I'm confident of my skills but terrified I'm going to fuck up the test and be labelled some sort of fraud...

Feel like I can't see the wood for the trews right now ans 'm kind of careering through my world by the seat of my pants and relying on sheer luck andc charm to survive when I actually need a jolly good plan for once. I'm working 16-18 hour days again, so no wonder i'm feeling tired and as if I hae no time to even breathe. I think I need a career break before I can even consider a change of plan. (in fact, I think I've worked out what's wrong with me, why the itchy feet etc. It's a revelaton and i don't like it.)

BUT I think most women my age have already had a stint or two of mat leave, to break things up a bit. I think I'm having womb envy. WHich is ridiculous because I'm so stupidly defined by my career that I can'rt see me ever wanting to slow it down BUT, I dunno- I've been feeling for ages like I should be doing something good with myb life for a change.

(everybody ignore the girl who has PMT - normal cheerful extrospective service will be resumed tmw.)

Absolutely amazing 4 days off but accidentally got drunk again last night, watched Everything Everything, still not sure if I like them.

So hungry. Please send food. Since Saturday morning I have eaten: a bull English freakfast, a spinach and cheese sandwich (that I was a little bit sick after eating), and a bowl of squash soup. Feel a bit faint.