This month, prepare to have your mind blown as event company Xclusivetouch teams up with DNA Club in London to create an unusual and unique immersive party concept.

If you’re looking for a night out with a difference, then take note, because Xclusivetouch are taking clubbing to a whole new level, with a night which will tingle and tease each and every one of your senses.

On the 25th of April 2015, this 8 week pop up concept will be launching at DNA in Clapham, blurring the lines between clubbing, theatre and performance. The aptly named Mad Dames welcome you to step into their mismanaged Asylum where you are responsible for whatever may happen to you next.

Guests will be immersed through sight, smell, sound and touch. If you’re bored with Cosmopolitans, you can switch things up with an experimental cocktail from their laboratory, or simply enjoy the distinctive décor (a mix of raw metal fixtures and neon artwork).

The night also promises two shows, one at Midnight and another at 1am. The theatrical element of these performances will involve a number of acts interacting with the crowd and blurring the lines between performance and clubbing.

This is the ideal concoction on a Saturday night, you can drink, party and immerse in experimental madness.

Ever wonder why some women, despite being seemingly smart, sexy and well-educated find it near impossible to find, attract and keep a man?

Well one woman took it upon herself to find out where the hell they’re going wrong and it seems the answer to the time old dating conundrum is that, intelligence is not hot.

Jennifer Wright from thegloss.com interviewed seemingly smart men to find the answer to the time old question: do men prefer dumb girls and if so… why.

Well we read her findings, and here’s what we found:

Smart Men Love A Woman Who Has Time To Clean

Men want women who have more flexible schedules and can prioritize… well, them. They want women who have time to clean (and cook) and can generally revolve their lives around his schedule.

Basically, smart women tend to be more career focused which means they don’t have as much time to “accommodate” each and every one of their mans needs.

Smart Men Think Dumb Girls Are More Vulnerable (Which Is Hot)

According to one gentleman, beneath these “ditsy vodka-and-cranberry drinking dame is an underlying vulnerability” which we can only suppose is a turn on for him. And as if that wasn’t offensive enough, another young man added: “If the women we date are dumb, then we have the upper hand in the relationship”.

Which means what? Men are turned on by weak and dainty women? And if we expect to bag ourselves a man we had better start pretending we can’t open our own ketchup bottles and need every film we watch together explaining to us?

Smart Men Think That “Dumb Chicks” Try Harder

One gent who was interviewed (John Carney) did find it important to remind us that “dumb chicks” (his words not mine) try harder to find a smart mate, in order to economically advance themselves. Whilst smart women are too busy trying to educate themselves and work their way up the career ladder.

I can only assume what he means, is that women who don’t have their own steady income are more likely to throw themselves at the first successful man they come across in order to secure themselves that lavish 5 bedroom house with the walk in wardrobe they’d always imagined.

And men like that.

Whereas career women, who may be able to buy themselves the house are deemed less attractive, purely because they’re less needy.

Smart Men Like Women Who Agree With Them

And i quote “if the women we date are dumb, then we have the upper hand in the relationship”.

What he didn’t add, but I’m sure was implied is that dumb women are also easier to fool, which is always handy when you’re a bit of a douche.

Smart Men Think Dumb Girls Are Pretty

Another one added: “I’ve dated some dumb girls and it’s just because they were hot. That was it. Maybe dumb girls spend more time on their physical appearance”.

Basically implying that if you work 5 days a week, the chances are you don’t have time to also be waxed, shaved and plucked to perfection.

“Every guy wants the hot waitress because every other guy is going for the waitress”. Meaning what? That the only thing that really matters when it comes to dating, is that your chick is hotter than that other guys chick?

But wait. Before you all rush to hide your CV’s, delete your impressive LinkedIn profile’s and try and convince the guy you like that, you don’t suffer from an off-putting case of “the smarts” there is a glimmer of hope.

His name is Matt Langer (also known as the only sane man who took part in this survey) and he would like to remind us that some men, namely him, “consider editors in chief of online women’s magazines to be far sexier than cocktail waitresses”. Phew.

Because let’s be honest no truly smart woman was ever going to dumb herself down for a man. And none of us are ready to make any till-death-do-us-part promises to any sort of battery operated devices either.

As for the rest of the men in the survey, well we think that for so called “smart men” they were saying some pretty stupid things. Because although intelligent women might be hard work in some respects, they also come with a whole lot of perks. They buy their own cars, they can hold a conversation with your mum and when their looks fade, you’re left with someone who actually understands your jokes… and believe me, one day that will matter.

Is your wife, lover or girlfriend denying you sex? Not quite sure how to let her know about your need for immediate action? Well this charmer has the answer, and apparently it’s Microsoft Excel.

This man decided to put together a spreadsheet, to inform his wife of how many times she’d denied him sex over 7 weeks, whilst also documenting every excuse she gave him over that period of time. Our favorite of which was “‘I just came back from the gym, I feel gross’ (didn’t shower until next morning)” and “I’m too drunk and ate too much” because… well who can’t relate to that.

He then emailed the document to his wife, who proceeded to upload it onto Reddit (as you do) where it went viral in no time at all.

The wife, (also known by her Reddit pseudonym throwwwwaway29) posted: “My husband sent me an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact” followed by the attached Spreadsheet. She added: “According to his ‘document,’ we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 ‘attempts’ on his part.”

Well, if the figures are to be believed, Mr. throwwwwaway29 may have a little bit of a reason to be disgruntled. That being said, we think that when it comes to upping the passion and getting his wife into bed… the spreadsheet probably isn’t going to help.

So what can we learn from this? 1. After marriage you have an 89% sex failure rate 2. Watching “Friends” is an acceptable reason to bail out of sex 3. Don’t post about your sex life online, unless you want the whole world to see it.

Incidentally, the original post on Reddit seems to have now been locked.

As for the rest of us, we have to hope this little Excel fiasco doesn’t catch on and become the latest trend in getting wives, girlfriends and lovers the country over to drop the “I have a headache” excuse, in fear of being spreadsheet shamed.

The chances are, that even if you haven’t read 50 Shades of Grey you know what to expect from the movie trailer: sexual tension and a whole lot of hotness. Well the official movie trailer is here and true to form, it does not disappoint.

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan star, and if you’re thinking “who and who” well get to know, because as of this moment they are the Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Sex Gods extraordinaire.

As raunchy trailers go, there’s whips, orgasms, passionate elevator kissing and plenty of topless Jamie shots which is more than enough to make us want to pre-book our seats for the 14th February release.

Yes, the opening night coincides with Valentine’s day meaning even those who may be single and sexless on the day, will be only a cinema ticket away from a night of kinky passion. Even if it is vicariously through a fictional character on a large screen.

Though it seems, not everyone is as excited about the 50 Shades Of Grey trailer and it appears that some men are taking to Twitter to inquire as to what all the fuss is about. We kindly remind them that the cinematic release of 50 Shades Of Grey is sort of the female equivalent of a new Marvel trailer being released.

It’s kind of a big deal.

Now as if the trailer alone wasn’t exciting enough, Beyonce’s exclusive version of ‘Crazy in Love’ which acts as the soundtrack to the trailer is enough to make us need to sit down and calm down.

We’re sure that even those who aren’t entirely drawn in by the first glimpse of the Red Room Of Pain and the super hot chemistry, will still be keenly awaiting the release, if for nothing more than another glimpse of Mr Dornan topless *swoon*.

Most women would say you should trust a man until he gives you a good reason not to. I say, never trust anybody 100% because we live among a generation of liars. Convincing ones at that.

Do all men cheat? No. In the same way that not all women are faithful. But the ones that do fool around are becoming more skilled than ever at it. Not because of any extra effort put in to cover up their in-discrepancies, but because they’ve become convincing at playing the part of the perfect boyfriend.

So why do men cheat? Men who more often than not claim to love their girlfriends. Who treat them well, buy them presents and tell them that they never want to break up?

And I’m not just talking about casual flings here, some of these men are having full blown second relationships. They move in with one girl whilst dating another. Tell one girl they love her, whilst agreeing to meet the other ones parents. And somehow fitting both (if not more) in for weekly dates/ hook ups.

But why?

1. Because he can

Men cheat because it’s easy and because they enjoy it. Why have one woman when you can have two or three. Not to mention that the age of technology has made it easier than ever before to stray and get get away with it.

They no longer have to venture out into public to talk to other girls, they can do it safely and privately from the comfort of their own bed, one Twitter and Facebook direct message at a time.

2. Because you’re no longer exciting to him

Your relationship is no longer as exciting as it once was. You’ve given up the act of constantly smooth legs, perfect make up and you now roll your eyes at the jokes you used to fake laugh at.

This isn’t a criticism, it’s life. You grow closer and you get comfortable enough to be yourself. But unfortunately that closeness comes hand in hand with a loss of excitement, you’re no longer an exciting toy… you’re safe.

3. Because he doesn’t think you’ll ever find out.

It has been said that it’s not cheating if you don’t get caught. By which logic, thousands of us, have never actually been cheated on. The truth is, if a guy cheats once and gets away with it… he gets cocky and believes he will continue to get away with it, again and again.

Not to mention that the more they stray, the better they become at hiding it. It starts with the very basic deleting all his text messages so you can never find any incriminating evidence, to the slightly more advanced having two numbers, because he suddenly needs a “business” line.

4. Because even if you did find out, he’s sure you wouldn’t believe it.

Classic female move: someone tells you straight that your boyfriend is cheating and you automatically think the bitch who broke it to you, is lying.

Of course she might be, but surely.. it’s worth a little investigation isn’t it? And we all know that when we want to, us women can investigate s**t better than the FBI.

5. Because if it came to it, he’s sure he’d be able to talk his way out of it.

Men are masters at excuses. You could see picture evidence of him with his tongue down another girls throat and he’ll convince you it’s someone else.

6. Because he doesn’t really trust you either.

Men who don’t trust their girlfriends are usually the first to cheat.

The ones who are constantly asking where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, who is texting you, not to mention constantly asking you if you’ve ever cheated on them. They’re the guys you need to look out for, because maybe just maybe his paranoia stems from the fact that he managed to lie to you so convincingly, that it occurs to him that maybe you have too.

7. And because a little part of him likes being bad

Being bad is exciting. The fear of getting caught, is exciting. Not to mention that some of these girls will do the freaky shit you’ve been saying no to for months.

So what do you do? Start to drive past his house late at night to see if he says he is where he says? Go through his phone? Hack into his Twitter to confront the bitch he’s been inboxing? Or do you trust and hope for the best?

Anyone will tell you that when it comes to dating, if you don’t have trust you don’t have anything. But trust doesn’t always guarantee fidelity.

The real issue is that most men who cheat are clued up on the classic cheating signs and aren’t so foolish as to display them. Don’t expect him to change his phone password, start placing his iPhone face down on the table and don’t expect every boys night out to end with him “staying at a mates”.

Don’t expect him to start taking you to some hole-in-the-wall of a Chinese restaurant where you’re unlikely to bump into anyone. And don’t wait for him to start picking fights. If it’s warning signs you’re waiting for then you’ll be waiting a while because he may just be smarter than that. Many of these men have become masters of hiding their bad behavior behind thoughtful presents and a smile.

So what to do? My advice: hope for the best but only ever trust even the nicest of men, no more than 95%.

It seems that the long running feud between Drake and Chris Brown is finally over as the two co-featured in a hilarious sketch put together for the ESPY awards.

The feud, was at a head in 2009 when Brown was convicted of assaulting their mutual ex-girlfriend Rihanna, but it seems the past was forgotten (or at least, put aside) as Drake made a hilarious TV sketch alongside Blake Griffin and Chris Brown.

The comedy sketch was released to promote the ESPY (Excellence in Sports Performance Yearly) Awards. The main focus of the video is a mock feud between NBA basketball star Blake Griffin and Drake who play a series of escalating pranks on each other throughout the 5 minute sketch.

Chris Brown features in the video as Drake is about to have his appendix out and Blake drafts in Chris to do the job. Breezy looks all too comfortable in his blue scrubs holding onto some sharp cutting tools; he then shouts “YOLO!” before putting Drake under.

Chris Brown later appeared on stage with Blake Griffin at the end of the clip, with Drake (who hosted the ESPY awards) tied up backstage.

Truly hilarious stuff, though don’t just take our word for it, watch the full comedy sketch right here:

So it seems that Chris Brown and Drake have come a long was since their 2012 night club brawl in which it was said that Brown sent a $2,000 bottle of champagne to Drake’s table, only to have it sent back with a note which read “I am f*****g the love of your life”.

But it appears as though the boys have grown up and moved on since then. In fact, there have even been whispers that the pair may even be teaming up to record a new song together.

We thought we’d seen it all. First there was Dominic Celaire and the infamous staircase fiasco. Then there was the girl in Mafaluf who went down on 24 guys all for a free drink. Now there are these four, who thought it would be a fantastic idea to have sex in a car park outside El Divino nightclub in Belfast, Ireland.

This picture was taken by a stunned passer-by and depicts two girls astride two young men, having sex in public, mostly unfazed by their surroundings, one of them even checking her phone.

This snap of these two slightly too intimate couples having what appears to be sex outside El Divino was taken after a student night last Thursday.

While we can’t actually confirm that these girls were doing anything other than innocently straddling two gentlemen with their mini dressed pulled up a little higher than they should be, those on social media had plenty to say about it.

It didn’t take long for the picture to go viral or for the s**t shaming to begin. Hundreds have taken to Twitter to express their disgust. One user Emma Rodriguez ?tweeted “Where’s Jesus when you need him? IMAGE”.

Leonie Miller tweeted “WTF is wrong with young people???????” and another user, Jessica added: “The two couples having sex next to each other in a Belfast carpark surrounded by people – does no one have any shame anymore!”

All in all it’s been a lot of bad press for Ireland as this photo follows the still recent video of a Northern Irish girl performing sex acts on 24 men during a pub crawl in Magaluf, which went viral just a couple of weeks prior to this.

Police said officers are not currently investigating the alleged incident. A spokesman told one newspaper: “We haven’t received any reports and aren’t investigating at this time.

When the guy you like starts dating someone else you have one of two options. You can either stay at home, Facebook and Instagram stalk their relationship and bitch to your friends about the fact she’s “not even that pretty”.

Or you can fight back and get exactly what it is you want: him.

One minute you’re online shopping and subtly stalking your crush on Facebook, the next thing you know his status says “In A Relationship” and you’re wondering if you’d just imagined the last 6 months of mild flirtation between you, that you was so sure were leading up to a first date.

This is the point where most women either get drunk, get bitter or get depressed. But not you. Not this time. This time you’re going to do what most girls only dream of. You’re going to break them up and get your man. Because you are meant to be together (even if he doesn’t know it yet).

Now you have a plan, there’s just have the small matter of execution. Roll your sleeves up and prepare to get dirty because if you’re going to eliminate anyone, you need to go Julia Roberts circa My Best Friend’s Wedding level of crazy to pull this off:

Make her your friend (in real life & on Facebook)

You know the saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. I’m pretty sure a home-wrecker came up with that.

Don’t try to become her bestie or anything, that would just be weird, but acknowledge her presence; throw her a smile every now and then and send a compliment her way if you have to. You’ll seem like less of a threat, making it easier to carry out the rest of your plan.

Comment on ugly photos of her so they come up on everyone’s Newsfeed

Everyone has one or two tagged but long forgotten ugly photos somewhere on their Facebook page. All you have to do is find them.

A like followed by a classic “aww you look so cute here” will do. Anything to get this photo back in everyone’s timelines and eyesight. Hopefully they’ll be so distracted by the photo that they won’t notice the fact you had to scroll through 768 other pictures to find it.

Text him when you know they’re together…

She’s tweeted that she’s staying the night at his? Send him a text in the morning. Nothing flirty and not too early, becayse nothing says “I woke up thinking of you” like a 7am text on a Sunday. Keep it casual and funny.

She’ll be wondering what the hell you have to text him about now. Worst case scenario: He doesn’t reply. Best case scenario: she becomes paranoid and clingy (neither of which are hot qualities in a girl.

Pick up on all the things he moans his girl doesn’t do. And do them.

After all you’re just being a good friend.

Do the “casual run in”

Twitter stalk your little butt off. Find out where he’s going to be on Friday night and casually suggest to your girls to go there.

Stage two: Look fabulous. Take a picture together. Upload it. Wait for them to have an argument about it. Then if he mentions the argument, sweetly offer to take the picture down.

Encourage a close guy friend to start commenting on all her Instagram pictures.

It’s important that she remembers that she’s a catch and has loads of options too. In the successful breakdown of a relationship, both parties should have their doubts, so it’s time you planted some of hers.

Plus, there’s a chance that her boyfriend will see this sudden increase of male attention which may cause them to have an argument. And remember, every relationship is only ever an argument away from being over.

Flirty banter with him

But in an innocent, non home-wrecking slut kind of way.

Get fit while she gets fat

Girls in relationships tend put on weight. It’s only natural when every single date involves either a 3 course meal, cinema snacks or alcohol. The perks of being single is that you have extra time to get extra hot.

If all else fails & they’re really meant to be, all that’s left is to go all Adele on his ass.

Write a song about it. Make millions and pay for the psychiatric help you so obviously need.

Until this moment in history, if your boyfriend told you he “got drunk and stayed at his mates” last night, you had to believe it. If he told you that he couldn’t talk to you because he was “working late” you had to believe it.

If he told you he was replying slow because he was “at home playing Fifa” you had to believe it. But not any more.

Apple has once again invaded are personal privacy and for once, I think us ladies might not mind. Because thanks to a hidden function your boyfriends iPhone can tell you EXACTLY where he’s been and how long he spent there.

Every cheating boyfriend laughs at the fools who have “find my phone” tracker app on their phone and have been caught at the local Holiday Inn as opposed to as the pub where they claimed to have been, all the while not knowing that their phone has been keeping a perfect record of where they’ve been over the last month or so.

And all that golden information is just sitting there, waiting to be found by curious girlfriends the world over.

This feature gathers everything from where you go to where you sleep (ahem). According to Apple, this is done in order to “learn places that are significant to you” in order to help improve “predictive traffic routing”.

Well whatever their reason, this feature shows you exactly how many times you visit each location over the month, not to mention what time you got there are what time you left. Incriminating stuff for serial liars.

So ladies and gentlemen… if you’re going somewhere you shouldn’t be, you might want to consider switching this feature off. And while you’re at it, turn your partner’s off too.

That way, when she reads this article, nabs your phone while you’re in the loo and confronts you with your non-existent location history you can insist yours must never have been turned on. Then casually add “your phone’s probably the same…” Trust me, she’ll check.

As a happy side note, Apple also added that: “for safety purposes, your iPhone’s location information may be used for emergency calls to aid response efforts regardless of whether you enable Location Services.” So basically you better hope your other half doesn’t work for the emergency services my friend, otherwise you’re ****ed.

The thing about dating someone, is that everyone has someone to say about it. Your family, your friends, even your Facebook acquaintances have an opinion on the matter and they’re damn sure going to share it with you. One way or another.

Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship has its perks. But if Ross and Rachel have taught us anything it’s that relationships… can be hard.

One minute it’s all:

And next thing you know it’s:

Then somewhere between contemplating why he’s yet to introduce you to his mum and wondering if you crazy kids are going to survive his Summer holiday to Marbella, you also have the added annoyance of your friends. Who are always so supportive during dates 1, 2 and 3 and then proceed to become subtle hecklers throughout the remainder of the relationship.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let’s see if any of these sound familiar:

1. “When’s the wedding”

Somewhere between the three and seven month mark, the wedding jibes begin. “I can’t wait till you’re married” and “can I be your bridesmaid” as if the prospect of dating in your twenties without the deep and desperate desire for a bit of Tiffany bling on your finger is preposterous.

According to your friends: you’re going to dinner? He’s going to propose. You’re going on holiday? He’s going to propose. He pauses too long outside H.Samuel one day, he’s going to propose.

They’re probably just trying to prove to you that they’re cool as a cucumber about the fact you’re settling down and they’re still on Tinder. Not that that makes it any less annoying.

3. “You’ve changed”

Dating someone is kind of a change.

You have to make some time in your already busy schedule to see another person. You sometimes have to make compromises about things you really don’t want to compromise on. And every now and then you have to pretend to be a little more angelic than you actually are.

But then leaving University changes you, getting a new job changes you even going on holiday changes you. Life is full of changes and everything would be a lot easier if everyone just accepted that change is not always a bad thing.

4. “What do you have to be miserable about? You have someone”

Stressed about work? About the fact you have no money? About the fact you’re parents want to start charging you rent, which is preposterous because lets face it, if you could afford rent you’d have moved out by now.

Well you’re worries aren’t all that important, because at least you’re in love. Their worries are greater because on top of all the above, they have to worry about the fact the guy they went on a date with 3 days ago still hasn’t text.

5. “Why are you going gym… you HAVE a man, you don’t need to impress anyone”

It is a common belief among the single that if you’re in a steady relationship you no longer have to shave, wax, worry about your weekly burger consumption or so much as put mascara on before venturing out the house.

A word to the wise, it’s that kind of thinking that gets you thrown back into the single pool. Go sort that bikini line out, he loves you, but that doesn’t mean he loves your excess hair.

Not to mention that implying you don’t need to go to the gym once you’re in a relationship, is like implying that you only need to be attractive to secure a man. And don’t even get me started about what I think of that.

6. “You don’t understand… you have someone”

Your single friend goes on a bad date and proceeds to act like it’s the end of the world, so you do the only thing a best friend knows how to do. Tell her that he was a douche and that she’ll meet someone better soon.

If you were single she would appreciate your advice. But because you’re not you get verbally slapped with the “you don’t get it… you have someone”. As though the three consecutive years of singleness that preceded your relationship no longer count.

7. “But you saw him last weekend…”

Erm, I don’t know if you’re aware but being in a relationship is kind of a weekly deal.

The real dating struggle is time management. Making time for your friends and your boyfriend and hoping to God no important events clash on the same Saturday night, because if they do you’re screwed one way or the other. Pick your friends and it’s “you’re always picking your friends over me”. Pick your boyfriend and it’s “but you were out with him last week”.

8. “Does he have any single friends… Maybe we should double date”

“OMG set me up”. Seems lovely in theory, you and your bestie, dating besties. In reality it probably won’t work out and you’ll have to deal with your friends hating his friends for the rest of your relationship.

9. “Girls in relationships never go out any more”

Single girl logic:

If a single girl doesn’t go out because she’s broke… she hasn’t gone out because she’s broke. If a girl in a relationship doesn’t go our because she’s broke… she hasn’t gone out because she has a boyfriend.

So in the single vs taken divide, let’s set the record straight. Being alone can sometimes be dull and sometimes be fabulous. Same goes with dating someone. So maybe the best thing to do, is not base happiness on whether you have someone or not, but on all the other things in life, which don’t evolve around a man.