Aug 8, 2008

Ben Stein Don't Listen To No Porn Stars

This is both hilarious and creepy. Apparently Ben Stein is quite upset about Paris Hilton's response to John McCain. Ben doesn't seem to understand that the Hilton video was comedy, posted on a comedy site called Funny or Die.

First of all, Paris Hilton was a total nobody party girl in West Hollywood until she and her boyfriend made AND then “someone” SOLD a hard core video of Paris Hilton having sex. So basically, she got her start as a porn star.

Um. She was actually a well known party girl before the porn thing. The porn thing was big because she was already famous. Get it?

And she’s being trotted out by the media barons to smear John McCain, as brave and patriotic a man as lives in this nation.

"Media barons?" Holy shit, you crazy fucking right wing lunatic. It's Funny or Die. Some shitty writer thought up a decent idea, then wrote a horrible sketch and asked Hilton if she wanted to be in it.

Now, this is when Ben goes crazy.

This little tramp, who isn’t even close to being pretty, is belittling a man who spent six years in brutal captivity for defending his country.

What the fuck just happened? Why does it matter if she's pretty? Also, troll-like creature, have you ever taken a look in the mirror? You are hopelessly sad looking. You are considered amusing because you are relentlessly boring, both in appearance and personality. I'm going to guess that if asked, a lot of people would want to have sex with Paris and zero people would want to have sex with you. Seriously. Zero.

Paris, get this: in modern day America, we don’t mock people because of things they have done that are unavoidable and not in any way blameworthy. We don’t make fun of blacks for being black. We don’t make fun of women for having breasts. We don’t make fun of old people for being old. This is uncool from any source.

It is downright disgusting coming from a porn star — and not a very good porn star at that (yes, I have seen the tape).

Um. What just happened? So, she's disgusting but you watched her getting banged? Please, do tell. Did you jerk off to this horrible, naughty girl? When you came, did you yell out, "I don't want to hear your political thoughts!"

And we especially don’t like being told how to vote by porn stars. If this is the best the Hollywood pals of Barack Obama can do, maybe John McCain has more of a shot than I thought he did.

And you'd be wrong.

The most amusing aspect of this would be the rumors I have heard for years here in Hollywood. Word on the street is Ben Stein is known as a bit of a hooker freak. He likes to mount them constantly and often, allegedly.