THE Archbishop of Canterbury’s ability to communicate with ordinary people - vital for any preacher - is as woefully woolly as his appearance.

Rowan Williams (aka the Dallying Llama) has apologised for his "unclarity" (sic) by which, in basic English, he means lack of clarity, on the role of Islamic law in the UK.

Muddled enough to get his predecessor, Lord Carey, and Roman Catholic primate Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, collectively hot under the dog-collar.

Clumsy enough for some members of the Church of England’s ruling general synod to call for his resignation.

Ill-expressed enough to arouse the prime minister from weekend slumber.

And waffley enough to have supposedly hood-winked every commentator this side of Mecca.

The Archbishop’s rallying fans speak of his "huge intellect" and "dense academic argument."

As leader of a church which is already haemorrhaging support, his flock may more suitably expect plain speaking in simple sentences (I suggest the parables as a template).

Instead, all that Dr Williams has achieved is alarm and ambiguity.

Not just in this country, but throughout the worldwide Anglican communion, and especially in Africa, where pressures for the introduction of Sharia law are far higher.

This is what Rowan Williams should have said:

It is my job to uphold Christian beliefs and values.

Sharia law discriminates against women.

It is medieval, brutal and cruel.

It has no status whatsoever in UK life and law, never will have, and is often contrary to Christian teaching, conscience and charity.

If indeed there are some aspects of Sharia (and orthodox Jewish) domestic and economic practice which would benefit English law, then it is for elected politicians, not theologians, to decide what happens (i.e. British common law is no longer under the thumb of religious observance).

The key issue is what may be adapted rather than adopted.

And there is nothing which even suggests this as inevitable.

Such thinking is part of the endless list of sacrifices already made on the altar of multiculturalism.

And, as with the long-term dire economic consequences of uncontrolled immigration, the only thing that will finally sort out this quagmire of constant compromise is straight talking.

Something which seems resoundingly to defeat Rowan Williams.

Meanwhile, if Dr Williams wanted to do something really useful, he could take up the case of Rizana Nafeek, a 17 year old maid in Saudi Arabia, last heard of just before Christmas, and facing public beheading after a forced confession for murder.

All under Sharia law, of course.

Let’s get our legal system working first

NEVER mind sharia law...first let’s get our own legal system working responsibly and effectively.

And how about this travesty of justice for starters?

Lynne Davis will leave prison after serving only part of a four-month jail term for fleecing a disabled pensioner of her savings.

One may suppose that the conniving and despicable Davis will soon be sipping a cup of tea, sitting by the fire, or making a meal of her choice.

How very different life remains for her victim, 71-year-old Mary Kelly, so traumatised when she discovered her so-called friend had made off with £7,200, that she had a second stroke.

This trusting, wheelchair-bound, lady had given her cash card and PIN number to Davis to buy shopping and pay rent.

But the evil care worker, of Verney Crescent, Grassendale, made regular small withdrawals - in the hope of not being detected - for her own selfish benefit.

No compensation order was made, leaving Mrs Kelly £2,000 in arrears with nursing home fees.

To add insult to injury, her family now have to suffer the indignity of seeking advice from the crown prosecution service.

A blatant case - as Mr Bumble says in Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist - of the law being an ass.

I’ve heard it said by some who should know better that the 17-year, 15-year and 12-year minimum jail terms handed down to the killers of Warrington father of three Garry Newlove, and the 14 years minimum sentence given to the murderer of Huyton dad Tommy Harrison were "hefty".

Not nearly hefty enough for those who believe that life sentences should be served as stated.

Not as shadow pensions secretary (his main task), but as the guy also charged with getting at least one Tory MP elected on Merseyside.

Or, even more unlikely, a single conservative voted on to Liverpool city council.

The best parliamentary chances are in Sefton Central, aided by a boundary change, and in Wirral West.

Without regaining these seats David Cameron will never cross the threshold of 10 Downing Street.

Meanwhile, the city council remains a no-go area for Conservatives.

Even with the ruling Lib-Dems suffering plunging fortunes - the budget is £60m in the red and leader Sgt Warren Bradley risks demotion to Corporal Wearing Badley - the most damage that this May’s council elections could inflict would be a dose of embarrassment.

With only 30 of 90 seats being contested, the Lib Dem nightmare would be losing majority control of the council.

They have only to look to Labour’s landslide win in the Warbreck by-election, caused by the death of former Lord Mayor Joan Lang, to see the consequences of fiascos from trams and the big dig through to Mathew Street and damning audit reports on financial management.

But none of this is a crumb of comfort to the Tories, who face as big a challenge as the dodo: how to return from extinction.

Chris Grayling, who read history at Cambridge, will have already realised that there are two words which can never again be uttered in Liverpool.

Margaret and Thatcher.

Taxing times

BIRKENHEAD MP Frank Field’s suggestion of a 10% hike in income tax to 50% higher rate for those earning more than £150,000 a year serves to remind Gordon Brown and co of a root principle of socialism now long forgotten, which is the redistribution of wealth. No Labour government has ever managed to do this. And New Labour never will.

Cap that

GERARD Pillay, head of Liverpool Hope University, says scrapping the £3,000-a-year cap on tuition fees would lead to students being in debt for their entire working lives.

It may also make them think about the lack of worth of some of today’s bonkers’ university courses.

Only one third of UK graduates take jobs linked to their degrees.

Instead, higher education is now a recruitment business.

The government loves that, because it keeps the unemployment figures down.