Navigating Adulthood One Day At A Time

People At the Gym

In my time at my gym I’ve noticed there are very distinct groups of people at the gym.
Here is the way I view the jungle known as the gym:

1.) Guys on the hunt- These guys smell…no…reek of cologne. They have those stupid shirts that are stretched out on the sides and their hair done. They approach any unsuspecting woman offering unsolicited advice for fitness. They also stare at these poor women waiting for them to notice how much they are lifting.

2.) Girls on the hunt- These ladies are dressed like prostitutes…regardless of body type. They have on freshly applied make-up and rarely put their hair up because they aren’t even there to sweat. In fact they spend most of their time standing around or walking between equipment waiting for someone to notice them.

3.) People who go just so they can say they go to the gym- These people go to the gym and walk on a treadmill or sit in the steam room the entire time so that they can tell others that they go to the gym. Yes, they do go, but they don’t do anything.

4.) The Resolutioners- These people are only in the gym from roughly January to March. Then they give up on their New Year’s resolutions and go back home….until next year.

5.) The Newbies- We’ve all been there. We all had a first time at the gym so I’m more understanding of these people. They tend to wander from equipment to equipment staring at it, trying to decide if they can/should use it. They are timid and a little jumpy if approached. They also follow people who seem to know what they are doing around the gym and stare longingly at them as if pleading for help.

6.) The Meat Heads- This group of men and sometimes women will lift weights and look around to see if anyone noticed that they just lifted something heavy. They make more noise than anyone or anything in the gym, to demonstrate how “hardcore” they are. They carry jugs of water around (because when you lift as much as they do you obviously become dehydrated immediately). They also stand around with other meat heads checking themselves out in the mirrors, which is why they can say they were at the gym for 2 hours. What they don’t realize is that people are there to workout so they aren’t impressed by other people doing the same thing.

7.) And finally… People who just want to workout- They go in, leave everyone alone, do their thing and get out.