Ryva Takes On Enterprise (Again)

A lot of Archer's dumbness early in the series seems really contrived. Hey other cultures are different from ours! Not everybody likes us! Communicating with aliens is hard!

It makes me wonder if by Archer's time, Earth has become completely homogenous.

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I know!! Sometimes I'm watching the early Archer thinking, "have you never interacted with other cultures on earth?!" It's not nice that he comes across as the dumb american stereotype. But I suspect everything is more homogenous post WWIII under one government. They never showed us a non-western Earth culture as far as I recall.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that "Unexpected" was prooobably Enterprise's "Threshold". Wow. I don't know where to begin. Seriously, help me out here, guys.

Okay. This may be a little incoherent, but here we go.

So Trip gets pregnant from a "game". Uhh, NO. That was no game. That lizard chick raped him, and we all know it. So why is Trip the object of everyone's derision here? He's obviously the victim in this situation. But instead, it's played for laughs. To add insult to injury, T'Pol has the gall to berate him for "sticking his hands where they don't belong." (Or some crap. I can't remember the exact line.) And right after she told him to be diplomatic and not offend the aliens. What?? She's such a hypocrite. There is no logical reason for her to be so bitchy in this episode.

And a holodeck? So soon? Wow, Berman and Braga just couldn't resist, could they? Also, why has communicating with other species suddenly become so easy? Two episodes ago, Hoshi had a near-meltdown trying to overcome this problem, and now the translator only has to hear five words of an alien language, and presto! No more problem. So much for that potentially interesting plot line.

And then there's the Klingons. They almost felt like an afterthought, didn't they? It's like B&B had five extra minutes left over when they wrote the script and said, "Hey, why don't we throw in some Klingons?"

Oy vey. All right, here are some things I liked about this episode. Well, two things. One: the sequence when Trip first stepped into the Xyrillians' shagadelic plant parlor. His disorientation and difficulty adjusting to the ship was a nice touch. On most sci-fi shows, boarding an alien vessel is no big deal. I liked that this was a more complex, confusing affair.

Two: Connor Trinneer's performance. Even though this was a ridiculous episode, I enjoyed his acting. His facial expressions were especially hilarious.

The sound and camera effects during Trip's disorientation were my favorite part of the episode, especially an intercut conversation with Archer in which Trip's voice sounds like most of his problem is just in his head.

Also, why has communicating with other species suddenly become so easy? Two episodes ago, Hoshi had a near-meltdown trying to overcome this problem, and now the translator only has to hear five words of an alien language, and presto! No more problem. So much for that potentially interesting plot line.

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Translation difficulty is for Enterprise what replicator rations were to Voyager: Something that only exists when it's convenient to the plot.

This could have been a good episode. But then it wasn't. It had the feel of a TOS episode, except without the charm. Instead, we got a pretty derivative story about some colonists who were forced to live underground, and subsequently managed to develop an entirely new culture, complete with underground-y words like "tracking" and "shale" in just seventy years. Also they hate humans, despite looking just like them, only dirtier. Huh.

Several things about this episode don't make sense to me. First, assuming Starfleet gave Archer any sort of orders, you'd think that finding out what happened to Terra Nova would have been one of them; it is one of the biggest mysteries of their time, after all. But it seemed more like an afterthought, that they decided to get around to eventually. Second, didn't anyone send a probe to the planet in the last seventy years? They obviously sent a probe to determine whether it could support a colony in the first place, right? So what, they never sent another one after that? It would have detected the radiation on the planet. Boom. Mystery solved.

Also, am I safe in assuming that all of the original colonists must have been mentally unstable? How could they possibly object to the idea of a couple hundred more colonists sharing the planet with them? And why would they automatically assume that an asteroid was somehow the fault of the evil "humans"? These people spent nine years on a spaceship to get to the planet. Have they seriously never seen an asteroid before?

I liked the guest performances, especially by Erick Avari. I always forget he exists, and then when I see him in something, I'm like, "Oh yeah, that guy!" Billingsley and Trinneer were good, as usual. Blalock was particularly wooden in this episode. It's like she can't decide if she should play an emotional Vulcan or a catatonic one. I'm hoping she makes up her mind soon.

This episode felt like it was written by a seventh-grader. Mostly boring, and way too many plot holes. On the plus side, up next: Andorians! And Weyoun! I mean, Jeffrey Combs!

If most of the survivors were children when put into the cave (like Erick Avari's "mom"), maybe they didn't know much about asteroids and other technical stuff. I think this episode was discussed a few weeks ago, where someone wondered how the survivors managed to keep those weapons functioning/recharged over 70 years. For me, the only real good thing in the show is Avari, who always seems to be enjoying himself in any appearance he does.

I always like to think the people on Terra Nova are ancestors of Archer. Then it all starts to make sense. The xenophobia and the fact they get beaten so easily!

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The "beaten" part is even funnier now that I've seen the next episode.

The Andorian Incident:

A fairly solid episode. I like that we're seeing a different side to the Vulcans; a much less honorable one. I could see die-hard Trek fans being upset over this, but I find it interesting. And it's not like Vulcans never lie. Even Tuvok lied about being an undercover Starfleet agent on a Maquis ship. If Vulcans believe it to be necessary, they can be devious as hell. (That's why I like them. )

Speaking of Tuvok, does anyone recall him ever complaining about the way humans smell? Or Spock? Because I don't. T'Pol is breakin' all kinds of rules.

I thought the Andorians looked pretty good. I don't remember them having all that business on their foreheads, but it's been a while since I last watched TOS. I found their paranoid hostility extremely tiresome, though. In the end, I suppose they had a legitimate reason, but the constant shouting and punching got on my nerves really quickly. Also, I guess I'm just used to seeing Jeffrey Combs playing characters with more humor and charm. Shran was just an angry little blue man. Apparently, though, he becomes a recurring character, if I'm not mistaken? So maybe he'll gain a little more dimension.

There was one scene that bugged me. When Trip was down in the catacombs and saw the three holes in the wall, why didn't he just go up there and look through them? Instead, we got a completely unnecessary scene of Archer getting the snot beaten out of him, just so he could toss that little figurine through one of the holes and confirm what everyone had already figured out. That was totally pointless.

Oh, and I'm guessing at this point that the writers have entirely given up on making communication with other species a challenge at all. Because either the Vulcans and the Andorians could all speak English, or the Enterprise crew somehow magically obtained a universal translator.

I'm no professional writer or anything, but even I know lazy writing when I see it. And almost every episode so far has had some pretty lazy writing. It makes me kind of sad that there are so many things they could have done with this show, so many great opportunities, and they just gave up on them. And so quickly, too.

...What, exactly, is Hoshi's function on the ship, now that there seems to be no need for a translator?

Well this episode does nothing to help Archer's fight record. (If I ever do a rewatch of Enterprise, I'm going to document his fighting record! ) As for the Vulcans in Enterprise... the term is Evil Vulcan Syndrome. It gets silly at times, but... it's nice they're not just the smart people with pointy ears in this one.

As for Shran? Well he's around a few episodes each season. If anything his next appearance is even more facepalmingly bland/angry than this one. But he eventually finds an equilibrium and manages to act badass with style without just being a roid rage junky.

As for communicating in Enterprise? It's a terribly complicated task that requires a specialist... except when it's inconvenient to the plot. It literally bounces back and forth to being hard and not. As for Hoshi's main role... you can literally count her grand moments from here on out on one hand. Her role is to sit on the bridge and look good in a mini-skirt... unfortunately that dress code won't be implemented for another 100 years. Maybe she can barrow one of T'Pol's catsuits?

As for Shran? Well he's around a few episodes each season. If anything his next appearance is even more facepalmingly bland/angry than this one. But he eventually finds an equilibrium and manages to act badass with style without just being a roid rage junky.

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Ah... Well, that's a bit of a shame. I love Jeffrey Combs, but I thought he was kind of wasted in this episode. I imagine it was probably pretty fun for him to play such a ruthless character for a change. But I like my villains with a little more charisma. And smarm. Don't ever skimp on the smarm.

And poor Hoshi. All the focus is on T'Pol, because she's the show's sex symbol. Am I the only one who thinks Linda Park is way prettier than Jolene Blalock? She has beautiful features. Blalock just looks weird and kind of not real. Her big nightcrawler lips are really distracting.