Women proved themselves capable of excelling in every field. They completed Herculean missions; scaled insurmountable heights. But when it comes to Physics, they fail to grasp some basic physical laws. They either don’t understand these laws or have utter disregard for them. I believe a Physics 101 is in order.

Law of constant volume: The volume of an object is constant whichever way you bend it. So the statement, “We can’t fit all the clothes if you just stuff them in the bag. We need to fold the clothes properly” is not valid.

The law of uniform heat transference: It will take exactly the same amount of time for the wet towel to dry whether it is on the towel-hanger or on bed.

Law of non-magnetism of hands: Human hands do not act as magnets to bacteria, virus, germs and other vicious microbes. Therefore, washing hands more than twice a day is utter waste of one’s valuable time.

Newton’s First Law: “Don’t throw the car keys in the sofa, you will lose them” contradicts Newton’s First Law. The keys will continue to stay at rest on the sofa unless some restless force moves them.

Non-transitivity of physical objects: If person A touches an object and person B touches the same object, it is not equivalent to A and C touching and groping each other. So it is perfectly alright to share a soap among a bunch of people.

Law of conservation of mass: Whichever way you squeeze the toothpaste tube, the amount of toothpaste in the tube does not reduce.

Law of opacity: Light does not travel through opaque objects. Therefore, the state of disintegration of underwear is not visible to public through other opaque clothing. So it is perfectly safe to use underwear until it is reduced to a few strands of threads.

Law of fixed boiling point under constant pressure: The gasoline in the gas-tank does not instantly evaporate as soon as the gas indicator lights up

Law of sound not being in visual spectrum: Eyes don’t have to be focused on the source of sound to hear the sound. So when the eyes are looking at TV, ears can perfectly hear the sound coming out of somebody’s mouth.

Law of constant volume – Not true. You see, when clothes are crumpled, they have “air pockets” in them – hence they consume more space. This is not about mass remember!

The law of uniform heat transference: Err no. On a towel hanger, the towel “faces” air on both sides. Hence drying is faster, however, on the bed, the towel is ON the bed, in contact with a surface that doesn’t allow the towel to dry. Or worse, absorbs moisture from the towel.

“Law of opacity: Light does not travel through opaque objects. Therefore, the state of disintegration of underwear is not visible to public through other opaque clothing. So it is perfectly safe to use underwear until it is reduced to a few strands of threads.”

I could take the pains of trying to make u understand things like “more surface area exposed to air , faster evaporation, hence faster drying of the towel” but then i resign to the fact that you are a man!!

You flunked Physics 101 for misinterpretations didn’t you?
You can;t account for weight averages (for cloth and air) while conserving mass..
You don;t know the effect of surface area per unit volume on evaporation
You don’t know Life Sciences 101 either or you’d know just how germs get to the skin. Neither do you know _Any_ thing about hygiene and aesthetics, but that’s so not surprising.
You forget your own Newton’s first law when you look for the keys when you need them at every place except the sofa where you threw them, and from where they obviously cannot move on their own.
And darling, differentiate between voluntary and involuntary functions of the body. Without concentration, hearing is involuntary therefore it wil happen, but since listening is not, you still don’t know what you were told.

Zanychild:now i understand all women are bad at physics
Well, they are probably good at academic physics The physics of life is what we are talking about

have ritten abt how to make those sexy, supple, white things!
Haha, I am sure all men are crazily clicking on your link – I am sure they will be disappointed.

D:You make the mundane so funny!
Thank you thank you!

Swapnil:too damn good.

neha:Let me gently explain
Was that gentle? Don’t want to know how it would be if you were not gentle

they have â€œair pocketsâ€ in them
But you are forgetting the “law of air not contained by porous material”. So when you sit on the top of the suitcase, the air would come out and everything will fit. (“you” is used generally here. I am not implying you are heavy )

phoenix:You flunked Physics 101 for misinterpretations didnâ€™t you?
No personal attacks! Especially when they are true

Without concentration, hearing is involuntary
What did you say? Sorry I was looking at the TV

In short, youâ€™re brilliant.
Thank you! Honored

Sriram:Law of opacity and Law of sound not being in the visual spectrum – how typical!
Ya!

suma:though i do not agree with anything youâ€™ve said thereâ€¦
Ya, what’s new

sharing soap..?!! ugh!!!
Haha! When I was a bachelor working in India, I and 3 of my roommates used to share the same soap AND towel

but then you are a man, i give up!!!
Of course you give up because you got nothing to lose You should extend the same courtesy to your husband

itchingtowrite:why donâ€™t men understand that many people drinlking water st from bottle does amount to smooching
Haha! you are pointing out the things I missed. What’s with this “can’t use the same spoon, can’t use the same bottle”! I got into trouble for it once

or husband wearing his broâ€™s or fatherâ€™s clothes is a tabboo if he wants to come near his wifeâ€¦.
ROFL!

or the bath bucket & mug shud be separate from potty bucket & mug – and that is not becoz the potty bucket might have shit stuck to it!!
Haha. Let me guess, after washing your hands, you don’t touch the bathroom handles

This should be the new world order………….and every human should abide by it….those who oppose it..special classes should be held for them.
Some addendums:
* if you throw the bag at the sofa, it will remain there so that you can take from there only.

Hey I wrote a blog post a few days back on how certain Westernized Women overuse their perfume. You are my inspiration for me writing some funny posts once a while. So as your Eklavya I would like to dedicate this post to you Pour Femme. Don’t ask for my thumb finger though. When you find time, please read it and let me know your comments. Sorry for doing a shameless blog marketing, but I thought It was worth a try.

- Law of constant volume: This must come as a shock, but a dishwasher can take a sinkful more stuff than the 3 plates and 2 pans that guys throw in. You just need to ‘fold’ them in right Same applies to a suitcase. Think Tetris.

- A toothpaste tube is a toothpaste tube, and not something you wish it were. And squeezing it in weird places isn’t going to change that.

- Law of conservation of the Laws of Physics – The laws of physics will remain the same, no matter how you bend them, twist them, mix them up and ‘apply’ them.

-Hilarious post (and one of your best), but I say that as you watch TV

Ahem. I will have you know that I very politely state my point and save my breath for actually pushing the damn car.
I don’t know why I did it, but you’ve been awarded. Hop over to my page to pick it up.

hey! my blog update for all those who got disappointed wen they jumped to my blog to see how to make those sexy, supple, white things! i have ritten now abt the advantages of being single and all tht idiot stuff ppl. do wen they think they r in Luv!!
and this comment is purely ritten for commercial purposes to promote my blog *wink*

“The keys will continue to stay at rest on the sofa unless some restless force moves them.”
Well, the problem is that the person (read husband) who left it on the sofa won’t remember an hour later where he left it, whether any restless force removed it or not and will seek the services of the wife to hunt for it. Right?

Hey TD,
been reading your blog for ages now and like many of your posts! cheers!
I have a doubt and hope you will be able to help….
did you write a post on how stars become megastars and superstars and how starlets are given such names? It starts with a VIT story.
If I am not mistaken, will you please send me that post, because I want to forward it to a pal, who has just finished a piece on Chiru.
cheers and happy blogging!
romila

rahul:This should be the new world order
It is! Some people just dont’ want to see it

sleeping on the couch tests the strngth of the material.
We are doomed to that plight, huh

Zanychild:lots of ppl. jumped from ur page to my page
You know what kind of people read a blog of this kind

peeves:Lol, this could have been from my dad to my mum
Haha. My son is too young to type otherwise I would’ve assumed it’s him

How do we know:After AGES, a post that i totally loved
I learned the art of just looking at the compliment in such sttements

down to the shield of â€œphysicsâ€ to explain essential man-isms
ROLF. Truth is always bitter

it will be a fundoo idea to use your bed to dry all the towels at home – right?
Yes. See the towel dries quicker and it absorbs the moisture back from the bed and the bed dries too! Win-win!

Rada:What about the Law of Diminishing Returns? :â€ The more you ask me the question â€˜Do I look fat?â€, the more you are likely to get an answer that will displease you completely?â€
Haha. Law of diminishing returns alright, because after the “wrong answer”, returns of every kind will definitely diminish

lalitha:i am poor in physicsâ€¦ very strangeâ€¦ till today i am poor in physics than bio and chem â€¦
You sound like my younger self. Oh wait, I am still like that. You sound like me.

Dinesh:
Quite honored. More credit than I deserve. Will see you in your blog.

gauri:a dishwasher can take a sinkful more stuff than the 3
Oh my god! You Dishwasher tyrant too! Let me explain this to you. All human action in life must be done with one goal only, maximizing the TV viewing time. Why spend the time shuffling the stuff in dishwasher! Let the load run and the remaining dishes will go in the next load. The amount you spend doing advanced dish-acrobatics, you could use wisely by watching TV.A toothpaste tube is a toothpaste tube, and not something you wish it were.
ROFL! Just to honor the spectacular imagination, I am not rebutting the statement.

Law of conservation of the Laws of Physics
You are the one who bend the laws! The bending of laws is directly proportional to the hormone level and time of the month

OrangeJammies:I very politely state my point
Don’t forget now I have a point of cross-reference I donâ€™t know why I did it, but youâ€™ve been awarded. Hop over to my page to pick it up.
Ya, why would you do such insane thing! It’s a little too far to hop, I will walk over and get it. (Don’t you love my jokes)

Now those are rules that I ought to remind my husband and son of. Hint: Males can be as finicky as females, and in many of the same things.
Congratulations to your significant other, who has you well trained on her likes and dislikes!

Law of constant volume
Wonder why people dont transport dining tables via the door and take it in piece by piece.
The law of uniform heat transference
Try sitting right under the ac duct and then at the other end of the corridor.

Law of non-magnetism of hands
Groooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossssssssssss !
Newtonâ€™s First Law
Then maybe the guys should try finding it themselves without going “ma have u seen my keys, I kept them on the sofa”
Non-transitivity of physical objects
Gross again!
Law of conservation of mass
Well, thats the difference, women make sure even the toothpaste tube looks presentable.
Law of opacity
As long as you are wearing underwear !
you could just walk around in a jacket all day ! they are opaque too, u neednt even wear a shirt !
Law of fixed boiling point under constant pressure
context??
Law of sound not being in visual spectrum
This is a constant source of #$%$^$% . You look at the person speaking to acknowledge that you are indeed listening. The attention makes a difference.
Walk into a store the next time and try asking for some urgent info, if the receptionist is busy looking at the tv but nods at u and raises a hand in the general direction of the next person u can speak to, how much of ur law still stands?

but hey, not a bad way to start the day ! Made me smile … Just hope that lasts all day!

The idea behind folding and packing is that by doing that you eliminate vaccum being packed. If you didnt understand that, well, you are a worse idiot than the women you are trying to make fun of.
BTW, I am not a woman.
Enna kodumai Saravanan Idhu

Sarath:Cleared most of my concepts of physics
Exactly. Wiping the slate clean is the intention

Diana Sahu:So damn funnyâ€¦Mr DNA
Thank you

Uâ€™ve calculated the equations between women n physics quite brilliantlyâ€¦
What I didn’t calculate is that for every action there is equal and opposite reaction. I am getting pretty bad reactions on this

RZD:looks like you need to go back to 11th standard for a physics class
I need to go back to 11th grade for a lot of things

Newtonâ€™s third law, thatâ€™s the coolest law of physics!
I thought coolest laws of physics are in thermodynamics

Sujatha:Hint: Males can be as finicky as females, and in many of the same things.
This is interesting! You should totally blog about this.

Congratulations to your significant other
Alfred E Neuman?

who has you well trained on her likes and dislikes!
Oh wife Well trained? Let me put it this way, when the exhaust fan stops in the kitchen, I start salivating

A Cynic in Wonderland:I would have send this to the husband.
Give me the email, I will send it to him

Lovely post
Thank you

myths:Wonder why people dont transport dining tables via the door
They do. It’s quite hard to sneak out a dining table throug the window. I know. I tried.

Try sitting right under the ac duct and then at the other end of the corridor.
I do! There is an AC duct right above my head and the conference rooms are other end of the hallway. Why do you keep telling me to do things I already tried!

â€œma have u seen my keys, I kept them on the sofaâ€
If ‘ma’ has seen them on the sofa, there would definitely be some external force to move them to the key hanger!

Well, thats the difference, women make sure even the toothpaste tube looks presentable.
You mean,that’s the *problem*

As long as you are wearing underwear !
You wouldn’t know would you! Law of opacity

Walk into a store the next time and try asking for some urgent info, if the receptionist is busy looking at the tv
I do expect him to pay attention because I am paying him. If I am getting paid, I would pay attention too *hint hint*

Made me smile â€¦ Just hope that lasts all day!
There is nothing to hope, smiling all day is a choice one can make Happy smiles.

The idea behind folding and packing is that by doing that you eliminate vaccum being packed.
Now that’s a “As seen on TV” idea! Let’s make a product that eliminates vacuum in packed bags. We will call it “The Vacuum Sucker”.

BTW, I am not a woman.
No way!

Enna kodumai Saravanan Idhu
Wow, that’s a pretty long name

Kris Bass:Hilarious! Got referred to from DesiPundit! Iâ€™m adding you to my blogroll!
Cool, thank you

shub:thatâ€™s probably the 23,134th time thatâ€™s been said on this blog, give or take a few hundred
LOL. Do you see me complain? Thank you

But what, no law of â€œleaving the toilet seat upâ€ that men seem hardwired with?
But the toilet seat comes automatically back to it’s position. No?

so hilarious…its extremely hilarious to read things which are soooo untrue! so sad..u havent got the facts right…snifff…snifff…;D LOL… keep up the good work man..atleast u are making a few sad souls laugh! ;D

This is really awesome. Most of them are dear to my heart –except these two (and in the long chain of replies if these points have been told already then I beg your pardon for repeating the stuff, but I really did not go through all the comments)

1. Packing clothes: Of course, it does not change the volume but it improves the packing ratio (which is a proper co-efficient in solid state physics)

2. Towels do take time to dry on beds because the surface area available is less.

Terrific post!! Well keeping in mind the humour quotient in the post, people shud also take it that way. Whether we you like it or not…the post tickles ur laughter bone and makes u think…ummmmmm hmmmmmmm yeah man this does happen!! so please dont go into explaining science to him…i m sure if he has written it he knows how to bend it… all in all a treat to the readers.

Hilarious. Won’t call you a pig or an idiot because 1.lots of people already have 2.belive that if you don’t like it don’t read it 3.jokes are meant to be taken lightly 4. we take digs at men all the time. Why should girls have all the fun? 5. It’s your wife’s fundamental and exclusive right.

Ha! yet another swing at women who prefer to be clean and organized?? what is it, encoded into the Y chromosome to do everything possible to make them cleanliness seem UNNATURAL!! Your physics 101 fell a tad bit short of reality, but one helluva post. It did make me ROFL!!
Good One!

There are some fascinating points in time in this article but I don? know if I see all of them middle to heart. There’s some validity however I will take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we would like more! Added to FeedBurner as well

One thing is the fact that one of the most widespread incentives for utilizing your cards is a cash-back or rebate supply. Generally, you’re going to get 1-5% back for various purchases. Depending on the card, you may get 1% again on most expenditures, and 5% back on purchases made from convenience stores, gas stations, grocery stores plus ‘member merchants’.

[+]Reading University researchers claim “I”, “we”, “two” and “three” are among the most ancient English words. Therefore, probably the most ancient English sentence is “I am tired of we two having sex, I want it to be three“. Hence we can determine that most ancient French phrase is Ménage à trois. [8 comments]