The bass trombone is a weapon of mass destruction that is notable for its ability to destroy entire planets with sheer volume. Banned internationally by the Geneva Convention, it continues to see use via a technicality allowing it to be used as a "musical instrument". As such, musical ensembles who wish to thin out their audiences or viola sections will hire a bass trombonist (one who plays the bass trombone).

For a brief period, NASA used bass trombones to test spacecraft components' resilience under extreme conditions, but quickly found that the valuable components (along with the surrounding area) would never survive more than a few seconds.

Valerie: Why are you wearing full body armor to an orchestra concert, Terence?
Terence: I want to be ready for when the concert hall collapses after the bass trombone's fortissimo passage.

The Urban Dictionary Mug

A development of the trombone which its self was a present from god to the rest of the world. This glorious instrument is often mocked for having all the suttelty of a sledge hammer and the dynamic range of a chainsaw. This is grossly unfair as when played properly this instrument is comparable to none other. In a band situation the Bass Trombonist is often referred to as the 3rd Trombonist. If this does not cease to continue then the Bass Trombone faternity will rise against the world.

1. All BASS TROMBONISTS are gifts from God himself.
2. I wish I was intelligent enough to play the BASS TROMBONE