hormones talk

I’m still recovering from ‘Parenthood’. The Guy and I have been talking about having a baby lately. I’ve done my prenatal check up and the doctor told me that I’m healthy. But am I ready? Parenting is a lifetime commitment and as parents we have the responsibilities to raise kids that won’t at least destroy other people’s lives. Watching ‘Parenthood’ gave me exact pictures how parenting would be like, from baby phase to teenager phase to that point where you realize it’s a never ending phase. My, they are scary. Every episode made me cry. I keep on wondering whether I’m ready to commit myself to another human being, since commitment isn’t my forte.

On the other hand, my self-centered self thinks that a baby would complete my life. It will give me a sense of direction and purpose to live. I look at pregnant ladies talking to their tummies, it always kills me. I wanna have that. I want to have that moment of being so certain at something that is full of uncertainties.

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There is a quote that I love about parenting. It does not actually pertain to your situation but I find it quite lovely. Here we go..

“When a child is born, a father is born. A mother is born, too of course, but at least for her it’s a gradual process. Body and soul, she has nine months to get used to what’s happening. She becomes what’s happening. But for even the best-prepared father, it happens all at once. On the other side of a plate-glass window, a nurse is holding up something roughly the size of a loaf of bread for him to see for the first time. Even if he should decide to abandon it forever ten minutes later, the memory will nag him to the grave. He has seen the creation of the world. It has his mark on it. He has its mark on him. Both marks are, for better or for worse, indelible”. —–Frederick Buechner from “Whistling in the Dark”

So I guess, when it happens, it happens. I don’t think a woman will ever be completely ready for a life-changing gift. Not even when she has 9 months to think about it. Not even when she says to herself: “I’m ready”. It will always be a shock. :) Just saying. :)

Thanks! That’s so lovely. :)
it’s probably irrelevant but there’s a quote I really like about the future, ” “Beautiful is such a certainty, but uncertainty is more beautiful””. it’s a line from a Polish poem “Love at a First Sigh” by Wislawa Szymborska. :D I guess, not being ready always has the magical ‘first time’ effect. :)

OMG, i can relate every word to myself.. especially this one “I look at pregnant ladies talking to their tummies, it always kills me. I wanna have that.” however after realized that if i have a baby then I must be fully committed to take care him/her for the rest of my life.. the dream vanished. It is scary yah, once you have it, there is no way to undo.. brrrr goose bumps