Pages

Sunday, January 27, 2013

This is a common occurrence. In fact, Wookie has more than
once arrived home to find the still-smoking remnants of a melted cheese sandwich,
bagel, or reheated pizza slice in the back yard.

Luckily, our toaster oven is right next to the kitchen
window—making for easy disposal of burnt offerings before the kitchen fills
with smoke.

While ours is a
very old toaster oven (it was old when I brought it from my apartment nine
years ago), the fault lies with me. The problem is that I lack the ability to be
still and do nothing, and this greatly impacts my ability to make toast.

From the moment I push that button down, the time it takes
to lightly toast a bagel stretches before me like an unproductive eternity. To
distract myself, I find some way to fill the time, whether it's folding
laundry, writing a blog post, or checking my email.

Inevitably, I become focused on that more interesting
activity until that nagging feeling that I've forgotten something...or the
smell of smoke...or Wookie's voice calling, "are you burning
something?!" sends me rushing back to the kitchen.

This doesn't happen so much when I'm cooking on the
stove-top. That's a more active endeavor—checking the flame, stirring, adding
ingredients and tasting tend to be enough to keep my attention. Toast, on the
other hand, is my nemesis.

I envy people who can be still.

I often joke that the only
time I'm not multi-tasking is when I'm underwater. There, amidst the fish and
the sound of my own bubbles I manage to escape my need for more input. Of
course, we always get breakfast out when we dive, so I don't have to worry
about forgotten toast.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

My first New Years Eve with Wookie was a cold night in
2003,standing on the New Jersey side of the Hudson River with a couple of cups
of hot chocolate. The skies over the Hudson were quiet. And at midnight when
the ball dropped in Times Square, I was shocked to find that I could hear the
cheers of the city erupt with the new year.

It was magical and as fireworks lit the sky, I told Wookie I
loved him too. (He'd been saying it since our first date, a week before on
Christmas.)

This became our New Years Eve ritual for our first eight
years together. Standing near that spot, on some very cold nights, waiting for
the ball to drop, reflecting on our year and looking toward the future.

Over the years it became harder to hear the cheers. The
night sky has become a buzz with low-flying helicopters. The skyline has
changed. And our reflections have changed as well. We've had a few rough years
and our conversations, as we've looked out over the black waters of the Hudson
have turned to tales of survival.

We watched the fireworks saying "screw you Twenty-(Ten/ Eleven)! We
survived!" We faced the new year
battle-scarred, exhausted, and more uncertain that hopeful.

Twenty-twelve was a hard year as well. We had our high
points and triumphs, but we are not anywhere near where we'd like to be,

As much as I loved that we had created a holiday tradition
for ourselves, I felt that to welcome the new year in the same way would be to
invite more of the same. It was time for a change.

Yesterday was an amazing day.

It started with lunch with my college roommate Aimee. We had
not seen each other since graduation—twenty years ago. Looking across the table
at the diner was like looking back in time, except I had Wookie sitting next to
me.

Aimee and I picked up where left off. Twenty years wiser,
and with families and careers of our own. Two adults, but certainly not "grown-ups"—which
I am certain is something we swore never to become. So one college goal well
met!

After a very fun lunch and promises to see Aimee again soon,
Wookie and I set off for our next stop—my last wedding of 2012.

Patricia and Larry had been together for 45 years and were
finally tying the knot in an intimate ceremony at the Grounds for Sculpture in
Hamilton, NJ at The Rat's restaurant. As we gathered and got ready, I heard
them say that we were actually at the site of their first date. That just made
the celebration more magical.

It's hard to beat a wedding where the groom breaks out into
a dance after he kisses his bride. That kind of joy is why I love being a
Life-Cycle Celebrant. Wookie was by my side, and sharing that moment made it
all the more special for me.

We had one more stop for the night. Instead of our usual
celebration alone, Wookie and I would celebrate with friends. We continued our
southerly trek through New Jersey to meet friends Rich and Debbie.

I'd never been to Atlantic City, though I'd flown over it
many times. Debbie and Rich had a fabulous night planned for us. We started
with a buffet at one of the casinos. Wookie and I often have very different
food preferences and this place had us both very happy.

Rich has his own buffet rules. I think he summed it up as
"all protein, no salad, no veggies." But I couldn't resist laying
some gorgeous baby carrots (real ones with a little bit of the tops still on)
and a few fingerling potatoes next to the lovely lobster I chose for my first
course. When I met Wookie back at the table, he had chosen some beef medallions,
that were tender enough to cut with butter knife.

Sitting across from Debbie and Rich, we had a great time.
Our troubles forgotten for the night. I worked my way through two lobsters and
a small bowl of duck soup (which I highly recommend!) before moving to the
amazing deserts. There was chocolate mousse served in the delicate petals of a
chocolate tulip—so thin that the heat of my hand holding the plate started the
chocolate melting. But I really loved the tiny chocolate cup-cake with icing
that I think was infused with rose essence.

I had such a good time, I didn't even stop to take pictures!

As a food coma descended across the table, we made our move
for the boardwalk. Wookie and I haven't been on many double dates. I loved
walking down the boardwalk, two couples, chatting and people watching.

Rich promised us good people watching and AC certainly
delivers! The four of us were fairly well bundled up. I wore several layers
against the winter chill, but everywhere were girls in dresses that covered
about as much as my bathing suit—no coats, not even a scarf. It might have been
an old fogy moment for me, but I can't remember being so impervious to cold
when I was young. Though someone in our group theorized that the mass quantities
of alcohol in their blood might be acting as anti-freeze.

Midnight came—celebrated prematurely by some people around
us and a little late by others. At Wookie's request, we met the new year
outside, looking this time out toward the dark waters of the Atlantic. We compared
cell phones with Rich and Debbie. When both phones agreed it was midnight, we
wished each other a happy new year!

I kissed my Wookie and as he wrapped his arms around me, I
greeted the new year with hope.

This morning I learned of an African proverb, "If you
want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Wookie and I will go far, accompanied by good friends.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope your 2013 is full of good friends, good health, joy, prosperity, and love.

In over my head.

Back in my early 30s, if you told me what I'd be doing today, I would have said you were crazy.

Back then, I was stuck in a dead-end job, contemplating life as the crazy lady with cats. Now I'm married to my very best friend, I have a day job I like, I work from home, run my own business on the side, I teach, and I get paid to fool around on the internet. (Oh and I still have the cats!)

I'm juggling more than I ever thought I'd handle. I'm often in over my head and I'm loving it!

When my husband taught me to scuba dive, I found out that some of the coolest things to see are in the first 30 feet of water, where you can still see the light above, but you're deep enough to be completely immersed in another world.

This blog is a love letter to my life. Who knew being in over my head could be so much fun?