Yes, I’m living for all there is. The dormancy you sense is likely just my complacent, predictable and very real life which constrains me with this chosen path, the one I signed up for, the proper, the necessary.

I sit with patience at neighborhood picnics, in meetings, even through beautiful milestones, experiencing what everyone is taken with and yes, bubbling under my silence and calm, I am craving- dying a little bit inside without it- keeping this hunger at bay, this need to let go and get lost in the minutes, the hours of selfishness where I feed and nurture my curious mind and body.

I am grateful because until this point, I have given away everything I should have saved for myself. But no more. And no matter. I blame no one. I make my own choices. I make the best out of the best and learn from the worst, am always learning.

Save your choices for after we meet.

Perhaps all is not what you desire. Perhaps what you imagine is just what you want to see in these words. You don’t really know. You will not know until the time arrives…and even then, let’s just make the most of being in the moment.

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That’s all I’m counting on right now, just the beautiful waiting to bloom, the skin waiting to be warmed, the rhythm waiting to be danced.