Sep 2, 2009

Minus 11.2

It's that time again! The weekly diet update. I know you've all been waiting anxiously for the next installment in the series.

We're down 11.2 pounds, which is one-and-a-half more than last week. Good, but I was hoping for more. I'd say I'll try harder over the coming week, but I don't know what I can do that will achieve greater results. (I know that it's not as healthy to lose weight at a much greater rate than I'm losing it, but that doesn't keep me from dreaming of at least two pounds a week, week over week.)

I DO think I'm going to start limiting my walking to four or five days a week and going back to The Shred the other two or three days. That sort of variety might be a more well-rounded approach.

Now, to what I've learned and what I've been thinking about over the last week ...

In the days of yore (more than five weeks ago), when I got hungry around 10:30 a.m., I started looking forward to lunch. Even if I wasn't hungry, if I had plans to meet a friend at The Cheesecake Factory or our favorite Mexican place, just THINKING about eating that kind of food would get my mouth watering ... and 15 minutes later I'd be "absolutely STARVING." (Grayson called it my Pavlovian response.)

So last Friday my friend Melanie (one of the friends I ate lunch with a couple of times a week, pre-Jenny) brought her lunch to my desk to eat with me. When she sat down, I remarked, "It feels strange to be eating again already. I forgot to eat my snack when it was time, so I just ate it about half an hour ago. That's way too close to this meal, but since we both have meetings in a little while, it can't be helped."She looked at me with undisguised disdain (you have to know her ... it's one of her most endearing qualities), wrinkled her nose and said, "I JUST DON'T SEE HOW YOU CAN 'FORGET TO EAT.' "

I tried to explain: Hunger is no longer a trigger to remind me that it's time to eat. When you're hungry all the time, you don't look at the clock to see when it's OK to eat, necessarily. If I did, I'd spend all my time watching the clock, only to be depressed that I couldn't eat during two and a half of the three hours. When I explained all of that, Melanie looked at me as if I were from another planet. I don't know that I've explained it any better here, but it's just my current truth.

A related element about my changing mentality about food is that -- since I don't really care for the healthy food I'm eating and have quit looking forward to meals -- I often find it time to eat lunch or supper when I'm not hungry. Or, rather, I AM hungry but just don't at all want what I'm scheduled to eat. But I go ahead and eat it, and even though it was exactly what I was supposed to eat at the time I was supposed to eat it, I feel as though I overate and cheated somehow ... because I wasn't all that hungry when I ate it. I feel the same way if I eat a more filling entree, which leaves me feeling like I've actually eaten a meal for more than 10 minutes after I ate it (because that doesn't happen very often).

It occurred to me that that's what anorexic or bulimic people must feel like when they eat grapes or an apple or something. They ate something healthy, at an appropriate time and not in excess, but their brains told them that it was Wrong. Wrong! WRONG! and they shouldn't have done it.

Luckily plain old common sense prevails and I always eat what I need to, in the general vicinity of the time I need to, so there's no need to worry about me. I'm just finding all of this very interesting. Through this diet, I think I'm learning some new things about myself, which I didn't expect to do.

Random lesson learned for the week: A food-centric movie isn't the best choice for Date Night when you are in the midst of an intense diet. We went to see Julie & Julia last Saturday night, and it was torture.

The bruschetta. The butter. The sauces. THE CHOCOLATE CAKE. Grayson kept leaning over to say, "Sorry." I didn't know if I'd make it out of there without stealing someone's M&Ms right out of their lap, but somehow I managed to resist. Barely.One quick note before I go ... I want to wish The Best Sister in the Whole, Wide World a very happy birthday. Sarah Ellen, we love you so much! We all send hugs, and Jake sends a very special yogurt-covered kiss to you.

4 comments:

I've followed your blog for a couple of weeks (found you from Jonah's sight) and don't think I've commented before.

First, I think your writing is just hilarious! I so enjoy reading your entries - the obvious love for your family, a great sense of humor, you can see the funny or good in something, just a bit of sarcasm here and there. : )

Second, I wanted to give you kudos for your fantastic weight loss so far! I'm rediscovering my friend (or enemy) Weight Watchers. I was recently diagnosed with celiac disease, and it's funny how your food perspective changes when you are dieting, have to make sudden change, etc. Now, food is just fuel for my body and nothing more. You would think whole wheat pasta is wonderful after having to replace it with rice or corn pasta, which is just not worth trying to describe. Let's just say there's little to no pasta in our house anymore! One of the best quotes that is inspiring to me (and on my fridge and computer to remind me) is 'nothing tastes as good as being thin feels'. I think that pretty much sums it up! Looking forward to your next entry! Kim in MI

Kim, I'm so glad you're here! Thanks for the kind comments about my blog and weight loss. I, too, had good success on Weight Watchers. I was all about the points. It's a great program, but I needed something a little more structured this time. (Every time I diet, it gets a little harder.) GOOD LUCK on your diet!