Not The President, Not His Shoes

February 11, 2017April 27, 2017

I had a dream last night, and one I can actually remember in detail this side of the dark.

In the dream, our new United States president had launched a line of canvas shoes for women. And my girls — who at 11 and 14 dabble in casual fashion — wanted to check them out. So we went to a local shoe store to see some. Not to purchase, not to support. Just out of curiosity. Because of that WTF? sensation that drives you when you can’t reconcile the doer with what’s been done.

We approached two middle-aged saleswomen, and I stumbled over how to explain why we were there. I didn’t really want to admit whose shoes we were after, but we needed direction among the racks of footwear. “Supposedly there’s this new line…” “Uh, I mean, so we heard about the launch of some canvas shoes…” And the one spoke up, neither enthusiastic nor discouraging, just matter-of-fact. “Ah, yes. You mean the Trump Sliders.”

They were canvas slip-ons, plain and colorful, patterned and not. They struck me as no different from VANS, and very cute — except that the rubber tag, there on the sole at the heel, read TRUMP.

My girls both tried a pair on, but I knew they weren’t going to squeal, and they weren’t going to beseech me in the typical shopper’s way. “Mo-om, can we get them, puh-leeze??” And I’d already mentally left the store. We’d seen what we came to see.

The saleswoman had followed us, observed us. I told her, “Oh, we won’t be buying. I can’t support the man. He makes me sick.” And I shifted into advocate mode, talking to anyone within earshot about the certainty of his being an abuser.

The dream broke then. But in that semi-consciousness which exists between the imaginary and the awake, my thoughts continued the shoe store speech as I laid in my bed.

And what I considered was the fuel for this post.

I don’t speak of politics on social media, and rarely with those who are part of my world IRL. It’s too gunky. Too sticky. Too confusing, because you never know what to believe. You can’t trust a whole lot on the ol’ internet, you know, and people are often motivated by opinion, not fact. I also choose, consciously, that politics are not going to make the list of things I stress over. That said…

Trump. This man who has been voted into office and now “runs” our country. He has so many signs of being an abuser.

I repeat: AN ABUSIVE MAN.

This might surprise few. However, many — those who voted him to where he is — ignored it. Completely, carelessly ignored it. They (seemingly) don’t care, just like in everyday life, when these men get away with too much of the wrong behavior. People look the other way. Not their problem, I suppose.

To someone like me, a survivor who still deals with triggers — and who can’t view or listen to Trump because of those triggers — this is an egregious error I can’t help but take personally. I have loved ones who voted him in, and it disturbs me to know they wouldn’t recognize his wrongdoing, moral or otherwise. Worse yet, there are some who have put the idea of upheld religion (part of his platform) before the well-being of OTHER HUMANS. That they’ll approve someone with behaviors like his, as if it isn’t risky or harmful, is discouraging.

Go ahead. Click to my If You’re Abused page, where I’ve listed the types of abuse with examples. See how many you can attribute to Trump — and that’s just by what’s been illustrated in public.

He’s a narcissist. Not just arrogant, a narcissist. Malignant and damaging. Oh, he’s successful, a bajillionaire. He has proven himself as a businessman, and I’ve heard it said our country can do with a more business-minded approach. But what’s wholly unfortunate is, we can deduce that he got to where he is with manipulation, and by taking advantage of others. By using people. And he is considered a “success” because of it. Did you know narcissists tend to gravitate toward careers in the public eye? Positions with high power (or perceived, self-determined power)? Whatever gives them a sense of control? Politics is one of them.

He’s inappropriate. He verbally accosts without thought. There is no humility. He offends and makes horrible fun of the disadvantaged. He’s hateful, and derogatory. We know he objectifies women. He is disrespectful. He wants to benefit himself first, with perhaps devious methods.

These aren’t just strong traits miscontrued as mistreatment. This is mistreatment. I have concern for his wife, for whatever their life behind the scenes looks like, feels like, and I have concern for his kids — even the adult ones, and I’d hate to hear the truth from his ex-wives and ex-lovers. My bones tell me it’s not good. That it could never be good, and yet his having been voted into office only enables him, and supports the indoctrination of others — innumberable — like him. He, like so many abusers, continues to rise with no consequence. And what is that telling the abusers who see him having taken office? What about the women who live with those abusers and see Trump at our nation’s podium, exhibiting behaviors so much like what they absorb every day, behind closed doors?

I guess accountability means nothing. There is no validity in extending personal consequence, some might deduce.

So this man was funneled into office because it pushed out career politicians? It put the Republicans back in the saddle? Because change is needed, and there’s nothing like extreme, mind-boggling change, I guess? But voting for this man — for the sake of disallowing the other candidate a win? — was superficial, and it didn’t dig deep enough into worse problems. Societal problems, I’ll reach to point out.

With all the reasons he was voted in, there are many and more why he shouldn’t have been. I struggle with accepting how so many people could ignore the signs, and continue to.

In my mind, as confirmed by my dream, Trump is as qualified to be my president as he is to sell me shoes.