If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Ever since I was introduced to the 4 archetypes by Carolyn Myss – the saboteur, the victim, the prostitute, and the child – my level of awareness has gone from ordinary to superlative. Who knew we all had these shadowy reflections of our inner selves lurking just beneath the conscious mind?

Anyone who has taken a psychology class has read about and/or studied the great Pioneer of Transpersonal Psychology, Carl Jung. His premise was that there was a relationship between the conscious and the unconscious. He termed the word individuation to mean a process of self growth that linked the ego to the self. He said the ego was the conscious and the self was the center of the collective whole (the unconscious and the conscious). He conceptualized the idea that we were all born with inherited predispositions that caused us to act and behave in certain ways. These predispositions are what he defined as archetypes, which (if left understood) would yield somewhat of a negative undertone when (in actuality) they are neutral forces. It is our perception and labeling of good and bad that have given our archetypes an uninterested connotation.

Caryolyn Myss, one of my favorite mystic authors, is a medical intuitive and has been in the filed of energy medicine and human consciousness for over 20 years. In her book, Sacred Contracts and Advanced Energy Anatomy, she goes in to the 4 survival archetypes in great detail in how these ancient universal patterns of behavior are deeply imbedded in to the collective unconscious. These archetypes are fundamental forces that exist beyond our conscious knowing. They show up in our thoughts and actions and are repetitive in nature. All 4 archetypes are present in each and every one of us and although they are universal in nature, some are more dominant than others depending upon our heritage and upbringing.

Getting to know these unconscious patterns and behaviors is to embody the soul. We all think, feel, and experience the world in different ways and when we experience life through an unconscious lens, we are living and reacting to life through fear and vulnerability, but if we allow yourselves to awaken and live life more consciously, we are able to live and experience life from a place of love.

I was intrigued by the notion that there could actually be psychological reasoning for the maddening unconscious behaviors that exist within all of us. Could these archetypes really open us up to a greater understanding of ourselves and the unconscious patterns we create in the psyche? As I began to understand each individual role, I slowly and painfully became aware of their energy. Before the idea of unconscious patterning, I simply lost myself in the shadow of these archetypes that took up residence in the unconscious mind.

I began to witness myself metamorphosing in to character and I could hear myself saying, “What are you doing? This isn’t you.” But it was me…the unconscious me…the wounded child me…the victim me…the prostitute me…the saboteur me. They were the me’s I hid behind in order to protect myself from being physically and/or emotionally hurt. It was safer to plunge in the vast expanse of illusion than to be confronted with the reality of life. When we’re ignorant we are safe and not responsible for the truth so we fall prey to the shadow side of our archetypes who play out the same story over and over again in an attempt to feel safe.

With awareness comes responsibility so I can no longer hide behind the shadow of these archetypes. I have to step out and be my authentic self. I have to have the courage to be who I truly am and the shadows help me do this. They surface to give us insight in to ourselves. They give us the tools and power to heal the burdensome past. They help us let go of the baggage we’ve been carrying around for years, but we have to get to know them and understand them and welcome them as our allies. If we don’t take the necessary step to understanding them and the roles they play, we will continue to remain stuck in the behaviors and patterns of the shackling past.

I spoke to a good friend the other night and she was really upset with all the anger she was feeling towards her mom. She just wanted it to go away so she could be happy again and I could relate to what she was saying. It’s frustrating not being able to understand some of the choices or decisions people make in their life, but there’s nothing you can do about it because each person is on their own journey exploring life through his or her own eyes and only acting in accordance to what he or she knows. It may not make sense to you, but that’s life.

You will only exhaust yourself trying to understand so have faith that everything happens for a reason and everyone is interconnected and a part of the greater whole so every person and every being has its place in the world. If your consciousness expands and someone else’s doesn’t, whether it be a partner, a family member, a friend, or colleague, you probably won’t be able to connect with them in the same way, as we are only able to operate within the capacity of our past experiences and social and cultural upbringing. You simply can’t explain the way you see life and expect everyone to “get it” because we’re all in different places spiritually, physically, and emotionally. You can only love them for who they are and the path they are on and know they are doing the best they can with the tools they were given.

And you can’t take it personally because there’s a lot of ignorance out there and a lot of people sleep walking through life. Some people just don’t get it and will never get it…not in this lifetime any way and there’s nothing you can do about it so just accept what you’re feeling and be present with whatever arises. Every time I try and understand people and some of the choices they make, I get angry and I feel alone in my thoughts and beliefs and it makes me wish I never started down the spiritual path, but I would never go back…not for anything in the world.

I just have to honor my feelings as they come up and not label them as good or bad. Feelings are a part of life and we need to allow and accept all that is within us, which is why I laugh when someone asks how I’m doing and I say, “angry” and they look at me like I’m crazy. People think I’m always “happy,” but I’m human and I get downright mad at times and I’m not going to suppress my feelings and pretend they don’t exist because I know the anger or sadness or whatever I’m feeling will subside a lot sooner if I just allow myself to feel whatever it is I’m feeling.

I met a really special guy a couple weeks ago in my yoga class. He just so happened to walk in to the studio just as I approached the front door. We exchanged energy the moment our eyes met and then we practiced right next to one other so I was having a hard time keeping my eyes to myself. I know we’re not technically suppose to be looking at anyone, but I just couldn’t help it. He was extremely attractive and he had a beautiful body. His spirit felt so sweet and free and his energy seemed grounded but playful and his heart so open and genuine.

I thought it was quite ironic how I recently wrote a post about being free and finally being able to let go of my last relationship and then out of the blue I meet this guy, but that’s usually how life works. One door closes and another opens. Long story short, we end up spending the whole week together and had an amazing time. It felt really good to feel something for a guy, as it had been a long time coming. I actually started to believe I might not ever feel for anyone ever again, but then I saw this guy walk in to the studio and everything changed.

It was so refreshing to be in the energy of someone so spiritually connected and I don’t mean in the way of religion or ”God,” but in the way of being connected to life and living. He was definitely aware of something greater, as he was living life consciously and with divine awareness. He was one of the few who truly understood life and was one of the most real people I had ever met. I just felt so comfortable around him…like we had been friends for years.

We covered a lot of ground in the week we spent and I felt amazingly close to him just after 5 days. Being with him was intoxicating and absolutely surreal. We spent a lot of time talking about life, playing downtown and hiking in the North Georgia mountains. I was intrigued and fascinated by everything he had to say and I wanted to know more, but the week was all we had, as he was from the West Coast and here on business getting ready to fly to the other side of the world to manage a job for the next year and a half. I was really bummed the day he flew out, but I had to let it go, as everything happens for a reason and I firmly believe there are no such thing as coincidences. People come in to our lives for a reason and we may never know the “why,” but we have to trust in our higher selves even if we can’t intellectually wrap our minds around it.

I kept trying to figure out why this guy walked in to my life. I didn’t understand and thought maybe the Universe was playing a little cosmic joke on me. I would have moved across the world to be with this guy, as crazy as that sounds and I couldn’t explain it if I tried. It was just one of those things, but when it was all said and done I realized it wasn’t about me giving up my life for another man, as I had done so many times before. It was about me waking up so I could let go of the past and make room for the new. He came in to my life and and lit the fire that died with my last relationship…he reminded me of what was truly important and the kind of man I wanted in my life.

We have to trust in the moment and enjoy the ride, as it’s not about the destination. We waste too much time and energy trying to understand life and the things that happen to us that are beyond our comprehension, as we over think everything. There’s a lot of freedom in letting go and enjoying the moment. There wasn’t a lot I could do, but be thankful this man walked in to my life and shared his heart. Albeit brief, our time together was so very sweet and I’ll always remember the beautiful time we shared. It’s not always about understanding why something is happening. Sometimes its just about sitting with it…being with it…appreciating it and then releasing it to something much greater.

I honestly didn’t know anything about Dubai or what country it was in until a couple weeks before I left. I mean seriously…Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Jordan, Iran…they’re all in the same country, right? Okay, I’m kidding. I realize they are all separate countries. I just never paid much attention to any one in particular. They all linked together in my brain as the “Middle East.” I never realized the United Arab of Emirates was actually a country and not part of Saudi Arabia, but this is one of the reasons I like to travel.

I was given an itinerary for the trip, but I didn’t pay much attention to it, as my focus was getting my business off the ground. I put all my trust in Deborah and her husband who organized the trip. She’s a good friend of mine and I knew she would take care of every last detail. Her husband lives in India and she has been there many times so I knew they had everything under control. The only thing I had to do was apply for a Visa and make sure I was at the airport the night of the flight.

On some level I didn’t really want to know any of the details because I didn’t want there to be any expectations. In my mind I was going to India to experience nirvana in one of the holiest places in the world. I didn’t need to worry about the details or stress over anything out of my control. This was a trip about trust and letting go so that’s what I did. I knew we were flying in to Dubai and I knew it wasn’t actually in India, but in my mind we were going to India so Dubai was somewhere in India, right? I didn’t even give it a second thought until I heard someone talking about the 5 hour flight from Dubai to New Delhi and then it all started to sink in.

The three days in Dubai were spent exploring my inner “self” in an attempt to purify my body of negative thoughts and/or deep rooted negative emotions. I was grateful we stayed in a 5-star hotel with a beautiful outdoor swimming pool lined with colorful flowers and lush landscaping, a state of the art workout facility, sauna, Internet service, lavish buffets, comfortable beds, and impeccable service. It was all very comfortable and pleasing to the physical body, which made it possible for me to do such deep work on my most inner self.

We learned several powerful meditation techniques, which were designed to take us deep in to the core of our being where serious psychoenergetic work could be done. I thought I purged everything during teacher training. I was done…finished…ready to fill up with divine goodness. Right! Keep dreaming! There are apparently layers upon layers of stuff waiting to come out and there will always be more layers to work through, as spiritual work is not something that ever ends. It’s a continuous evolution. The world’s largest proverbial onion!!!

The clarity and consciousness you receive from doing this work is divine, but it is a commitment and you have to be ready before you embark on such a journey. You have to be ready to face your fears…pain from grieving and loss…insecurities…painful memories…traumatic experiences…sexual issues…co-dependency…addictions…anger…depression…imperfections. It’s not for everyone and I would only suggest it to someone who was really ready to experience a heightened state of consciousness and had the right teachers for support and proper guidance, as its intense.

There was a part of me that felt like I was on vacation, as I was spoiled by the luxury of waking up and going for a morning swim and then relaxing in the sauna before taking a hot shower and heading down to an extravagant breakfast. I also got to spend my evenings touring the booming city of Dubai…driving by some of the most innovative real estate projects in the world. It is truly a unique city of free trade and tourism with a 37 billion dollar economy and the most spectacular skyline you’ve ever seen.

The other part of me felt like I was in spiritual boot camp, as my days were spent in lecture learning techniques to connect to my higher self. I had to sit through many intense meditations, which stirred up emotions and brought up judgments towards myself and others. Meditations are able to purify and help the body let go of stuff that no longer serves you so as emotions and pent up feelings are released, all kinds of things come up. Things you don’t really want to see, but need to see in order to heal and grow spiritually. It takes a lot of energy to heal at this level, which can leave you depleted and emotionally drained, but working through these types of things creates an energetic shift that brings an awareness and sense of self you can’t put in to words.

By the last day my mind refused to absorb anything else. I was frustrated and irritated and needed to disconnect from all of it so a group of us went out to have some fun, but we paid for it because we had to check out of the hotel at 2am that night and we didn’t get back until 11pm. I literally slept 2 hours, but it was worth it because we were able to get a really nice meal and a glass of wine, which I desperately needed.

What is “pure consciousness”? I’m always talking about being awake or conscious, but then it dawned on me that people may have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. What would you say if someone asked you the question, “Who are you?” I was actually asked this question on the application for Yoga Teacher Training and my first response was, “Oh, that’s easy…I’m this…I’m that…I’m…I’m.” I had to keep starting over because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t put it in to words…it was beyond words.

We are not our jobs and we are not the cars we drive or the homes we live in. We are not the clothes we wear or the friends we hold. These are just identities we associate ourselves with on a day-to-day basis. There is so much more to us than life’s external identifiers, but sometimes it takes a paradigm shift to open yourself up to seeing beyond the veil and realizing there’s a duality to our existence. Do me a favor and wiggle your toes. How are your toes moving? Your body, right? Well how did your body know to wiggle your toes? Because the body heard me say it or because something beyond the physical told the body to do it?

You could psycho-analyze this to death, but these types of questions aren’t suppose to be logically thought through. They are just here to get us to think outside the box. For example, how do you think the body heals itself when it gets sick? Don’t think about it because it’s too complex for the mind to understand. The mind wasn’t meant to grasp such refinement, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t more going on just beneath the surface. People are stuck in wanting to understand from a logical perspective…they want cold hard facts…scientific proof.

Evolution can’t always be explained, but there is a beautiful higher intelligence that guides, heals, and protects us whether the mind grasps it or not. This inner intelligence is what some may refer to as our spirit or soul. This light within us is always trying to communicate with us, but we don’t always hear it because we are so distracted with life and everything going on around us.

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a friend while you were at a rock concert? No, of course not. And why? Because you can’t hear each other, right? You would have to scream in order for you to talk and there’s a concert going on so why bother? Well think about what it must be like for your spirit to try and communicate to you when there’s constant noise in the background. We live in a world where people are in front of the television or listening to music or playing video games or out having fun with their friends allowing social conversations to mute the soul.

If you want to find your true essential nature, you have to step back from the distractions and allow for some quiet space in your life. Most people can’t stand to be alone or in any kind of silence because they are afraid of what they might see. The ego has done a good job in convincing you that you are not enough and it doesn’t want you to find yourself because that means you will see and feel the truth and will know that you are not the ego…you are not your thoughts…you are not your emotions. You are simply a beautiful compassionate loving being who wants to be loved. The ego tells you love hurts and so you run from love, but you will never be able to free yourself from the ego until you learn to love yourself….your true beautiful self.

Pure consciousness is that place of divine love that rests peacefully beneath the thoughts and emotions and armor you wear. Think about a time you went up to the mountains or out to the beach and got up at dawn to see the sun rise? Think about the pervading quiet stillness. Think about the awakening dawn and all the pleasant sounds that rang out from the heart of the divine mother. Think about the sky and the marvelous colors that gave birth to new splendid hues of light. Think about the sun and the sweet peace you felt as it came up over the horizon. Think about how you felt in that moment of stillness with so much beauty surrounding you. It was pure and perfect in the unfolding moment because life was perfectly aligned. Feel in to the divine energy you felt…feel the peace and the love and all the stillness…what you are feeling is you…the real you…the soul you…the spirit you…the conscious you.

Your job…your social schedule…your house…your car….your favorite sport…your yesterday…your tomorrow……none of it truly matters in the grand scheme of things…it’s the beautiful loving “you” that truly matters. Somewhere deep within ourselves there is this yearning to be free from the ego. People who do not know themselves have this underlying unhappiness somewhere in their life and this malcontent will continue to haunt them until the day they die because they are stuck in the pattern of negative thoughts, strong emotions, and thinking they have to be this or they have to be that in order to be happy. All it takes to move through the disontent is to be fully present…without judgment or fear….give yourself the freedom of being in the here now and the beautiful conscious “you” will fully emerge from deep within the depths of your being!