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Our lane

It is a narrow lane that serves a few houses and looks like a cross between the Sahara Desert and the Grand Canyon, without the scenery.

In winter, it floods so you can’t get down it unless the floor of your car is a couple of feet off the ground. In summer, it’s a dustpan where any movement throws up gigantic clouds of dust and rocks. Winter or summer it is full of potholes that would try the strongest of suspensions.

We are always complaining about the lane [well, we have to complain about something?] and strangely enough, the loudest complainers are the ones who expect to treat the lane like a race track. In fact, I have noticed that the volume of complaints is directly proportional to the speed of the driver. There is a lesson there somewhere.

There is a lot of noise out there at the moment.

It started with a lot of beeping, and I looked out to see what it was. It was a council lorry reversing up. Now, the council only come here for one or two reasons. They are either going to fill some of the potholes, or they are going to remove some to place on a major road where they can be better appreciated.

I suspect the latter.

I cringe whenever the council come out. The last time they came, a couple of years ago, they threw a fortune’s worth of asphalt into the potholes and then buggered off. After they left, I checked their work and they had nicely managed to asphalt over all the drains [that didn’t work very well anyway] so that wasn’t going to help the flooding. Of course, a week later, the asphalt had all broken off and the lane was back to its old Sahara self. The only asphalt that had managed to stick was the drain blocking stuff.

I have to go out shortly. What’s worse, I have to bring the car. I don’t know if I will have a lane to drive on, so I may only get as far as the front gate.

If I don’t come back, don’t come looking for me.

I may have fallen into a new pothole.

No one ever comes out of them alive.

UPDATE

I managed to return alive.

I was amazed at the [lack of] work they managed to do considering the noise they made. Thay have a) thrown a couple of shovels of asphalt into one or two potholes, and b) thrown a couple of the neighbours’ bins into my garden to make way for their lorry.

The lane will be back to its old potholed self within days, but at least I now have a selection of bins.

Blackwatertown – I wouldn’t mind if they were stealing the surface, as that would imply that there is a surface to steal. No. I swear our lane is their store for spare potholes which are then moved to major roads, as required.

Holemaster – One thing I love about the recession – the dramatic drop in the number of Yummy Mummy SUVs in the area. Haven’t seen one in ages! 🙂