Desert Storm Radio Presents: DJ Clue.TV, Volume One

I know Clue hasn’t ruled the throne for at least a decade, but I give respect where respect is due. Sounds like dude is finally getting those exclusives again on this one. Jadakiss jumped things off with a lovely freestyle over the instrumental to Nas’ “Stillmatic Intro.”

“Gettin’ money’s a high-speed challenge / come on, nigga, why you think I speak violence? / Party with gorillas and killas that move in silence / 25-to-life or a casket you lost talent / loaded .45 and a mask, now dude’s stylin’ / that’s only for a minute till they troop him to the Island / and the Bloods will tear him up or the Brooklyn niggas’ll pound him / know my style, like to leave ‘em like I found them / Broad day on his block, leaking like a fountain…”

That gangsta music, aye!

I can’t front on that new Lil Kim joint either, “Shook Hands.” Kim got right on that tight beat with the crazy bass. After hearing shorty say, “Fed CO’s giving me head in my cell…” I had two questions: One, who’s writing Kim’s rhymes nowadays? And two, tou gotta wonder how many sick days those CO feds took after giving Kim head.

And can anyone convince my man Juelz Santana that co-signing Skull Gang isn’t the smartest move in the world.

On the last joint I heard them on they couldn’t hold a note to save their life. But they’ve improved on “Skull Gang Got Money,” only now they sound more like T-Pain. Juelz got it in on this track, but that SG ain’t doing it for me on any level. I’m sure they’ll have a gang of fans who wear high heels and tight jeans, but I wear construction timbs and baggy jeans.

Listening to “It’s Like That” it’s pretty obvious that the LOX make music for the old-school audience that still believes in wearing pants that let their dick’s breathe. Ditto on Tony Yayo and Ransom’s “Face Off.” That joint isn’t made for your hipster hip-hop kids. This song is rated NC-17 compared to those PG-13 joints y’all usually used to. For y’all hipsters risking a yeast infection, ya’ll can groove to that T-Pain, 50 and Juelz joint, “Can’t Believe It.” It’s guaranteed to make a shorty grind her booty on you and make your pants that much tighter.

Clue put together a good mixtape, to bump whether you’re politickin’ on the stoop with your peeps or just whippin’ it through the ‘hood. Sure it has one or two weak joints (I’m a Lloyd Banks fan, but when he says lines like “I stand out like I’m 7-feet tall on sticks” it just makes it more obvious that he’s run out of metaphors and punchlines), but at the end of the day it’s got more good hip-hop than average or wackness.

Will this mixtape help Clue reclaim his long abandoned throne? Of course not. But it’ll sure make it that much harder for the next man to try to claim it.—The Infamous Omar