I suck when it comes to the ladies. I'm shy, have self-confidance and self-esteem issues, I'm not very interesting, I think, and I guess I really just don't understand women, at all. Oh, and I'm a virgin, if you didn't already figure that out.

Thing is, I am 9x6.. If all the rumors and stereotypes about hung guys were true, then I shouldn't have any of these issues, yet, here I am whining about it. So when I hear about 'smaller' guys whining about how if they were bigger they'd get more ladies or something like that I'm usually pretty skeptical and just ignore them, thinking it's all in their heads.

But then, that would mean all my issues are all in my head too, which is sorta like a paradox or epiphany or the like and I guess I just don't want to accept that.

In any case, there's a few things I've been wondering recently..

Usually I don't show off the cock. I make the assumption that people don't want to see that and just keep it in my pants, because honestly, how many people do you think want to see it? Not many. At least, not many guys, whom I grew up with for the most part, so I guess this question is more directed at the ladies, as I'd really like to flaunt my manhood but fear of rejection hurts so badly sometimes.

When is the right time to talk about penises and sexy-time and all that jazz? Because if it were left up to me, I'd talk about it 24/7. It's really quite an interesting subject but you have to be careful who to talk to it about as there are decency laws around every corner and packs of lawyers waiting nearby for hapless subjects to come strolling by. Generally I stay quiet and entertain myself somehow, but this makes me look weird and scary, when otherwise I'd just be perverted and horny.

Do women like sex as much as men? I'm really, really confused about this one as I really didn't have any real female friends until senior year of high school (I know)... I was very reclusive then, and if I knew then what I know now, well, maybe I wouldn't of been. But I was and I can't change that. So if I know women are as open to talk about it as men are then it's a huge relief and I guess I can be a little more open.

I am starting to find my friend very (very) attractive. The problem is, she is my friend, and I can't figure out if what I'm feeling is lust, desperation, hunger, some combination of the 3, or whether I actually do like her, in that way, and that bothers me because I've known her for a good deal of time and I don't want to sacrifice that for some momentary happiness. But the problem is, is that it's getting to the point of if I sit on this much longer I'm going to do something I'm going to regret so I need advice post haste on what to do in this situation because I am the stereotypical retarded man and I'm really confused.

Anyway, thanks for reading all that. I don't even really know what answers to expect, but I guess that's half the fun in posting..

Gold Member

Your overanalyzing my friend. Stop thinking so much. The more you think sometimes the more you end up boxing yourself in...I should know I have often been guilty of it myself.

You can sit on the edge and wonder if the water is cold...or you can just assume it is and jump right in and get it over with.

If you like this girl, let her know. She will either respond in kind or she will deny you. If she denies you, no harm, no foul...just move on.

Think of meeting women and finding love as you would a commission-based job. You can sit on your butt and hope that the buisness will fall into your lap...but it wont. Or you can get out there and bust your butt and not only will you perhaps drum up some buisness but you will learn the rules of the game.

Success with women is a matter of experience, not of size: the more you know them, court them, learn to understand their thoughts.

Begin to ask yourself: what is she thinking now? what does she feel in her heart? Try to ask a female friend (not the one you mentioned) to tell you what she would do, and how she would feel in some situations. Girls can be great teachers.

Regarding the friend you are falling in love with, try to understand if it is a crush, love, or sexual attraction.Then ask yourself: what would i regret more: not telling them what i feel for her, or getting a negative anser from her?

Heh, until now my LPSG experience is just browse through, read what guys in similar situations say, and basically just keep quiet. Usually someone says what I would so I never saw much reason to post. But after reading your thread, I have to chime in. Mostly because I've been there.

I was basically in the same boat as you graduating highschool and entering college. Sure I had something that got me a few too many nicknames in the locker room, but I had no idea how to talk to girls. Once I got to college I realized something needed to change.

Lacking a better way to put it, basically you need to learn how to 'grab your balls' and force yourself to get comfortable with girls. I did this by forcing myself to talk to girls constantly. If I saw a cute girl in a store, I'd make myself go say hey. It was really hard at first - especially if the girl was intimidating. But over time I got really comfortable about it and felt no pressure talking to any girl. Now I have no trouble meeting both friends and girlfriends. I realized I had a lot to be confident about (not just what's between my legs), and you do too. I also learned I had no need to flaunt anything. Put all these together and you get what you're looking for I think.

So here's my answer to your questions:

"When is the right time to talk about penises and sexy-time and all that jazz?"
Whenever you're with someone you're comfortable around and feel like it. In regards to your own dick, I find it's good advice not to talk about your own. It comes across as arrogant and egotistical, and eventually other people will do it enough for you anyways :tongue:. Oh yeah, don't call it "sexy-time".

"Do women like sex as much as men?"
Hell yes they do, don't let them try to convince you otherwise. However, they don't *think* about sex the same way we do.

"I am starting to find my friend very (very) attractive."
Meh, I know the other guys are saying "just tell her how you feel", etc. The problem is, telling her how you feel can blow your friendship. The odds are against you, unfortunatly. When a girl sees a guy as a friend, that means she feels compatable with him except there is no sex appeal. This isn't always the case, but it is most of the time. This means she's 100% cool with how things are now and once you cross that line she's going to get uncomfortable. So how do you know what to do? Simple. What would be worse: losing her as a friend, or never getting to have a physical relationship with her? Once you answer that, you know what the right course of action is. For me, I always keep my friends friends unless *they* start giving me signals that they want something more. I never try to turn it the other way around. When I meet a girl I want to date, she knows my intentions up-front.

Now, some folks might not agree with what I'm about to say. But if you do really really want to date this girl, you'll probably have a better chance once you start dating someone else first.

i am afraid i agree with rawrs. The friend is almost certainly a bad bet. One you are in the friend zone it is really hard to pull out.

Women do have very high sex drives as often as men do. Some women have less, some have more, just like guys (i have been with more than one dude who couldn't keep up with me). It is completely case by case.

Starting from scratch, the smartest thing you can do is not lump all women into one group. Women are people. Men are people. There is a lot of individual variance.

Gold Member

Talk to the women in your life - all of them, and stop thinking only about courting, or sex. (Those things will fall into place naturally once you take the pressure off them.) Initiate or join in on conversations about ordinary, everyday stuff like work, family, holiday destinations, music, movies, football. You probably do have something to contribute on some of these subjects. None of us have to be an authority on every subject! And if you appear to be someone who only wants to talk from a position of authority you come across as brittle, false and insecure. Or simply as a real big bore.

Do you see what I did there? I showed interest in what the other person was talking about. I bet you can do that with male friends. Well, women need to be treated the same way or it just shows that you don't respect them. Think about it. Maybe you should have a think about whether you actually like and respect women, because if you don't, they're better off without you.

The take home message is that women are just like us. They fart, swear, get horny, angry, frustrated, etc. and they are just as prone to being insecure as you and I. Try this: Next time you're in the copmpany of the woman you like: Tell her that you like her, or at the very least, give her some eye contact and smile :smile:

I suck when it comes to the ladies. I'm shy, have self-confidance and self-esteem issues, I'm not very interesting, I think, and I guess I really just don't understand women, at all. Oh, and I'm a virgin, if you didn't already figure that out.

Thing is, I am 9x6.. If all the rumors and stereotypes about hung guys were true, then I shouldn't have any of these issues, yet, here I am whining about it. So when I hear about 'smaller' guys whining about how if they were bigger they'd get more ladies or something like that I'm usually pretty skeptical and just ignore them, thinking it's all in their heads.

But then, that would mean all my issues are all in my head too, which is sorta like a paradox or epiphany or the like and I guess I just don't want to accept that.

In any case, there's a few things I've been wondering recently..

Usually I don't show off the cock. I make the assumption that people don't want to see that and just keep it in my pants, because honestly, how many people do you think want to see it? Not many. At least, not many guys, whom I grew up with for the most part, so I guess this question is more directed at the ladies, as I'd really like to flaunt my manhood but fear of rejection hurts so badly sometimes.

When is the right time to talk about penises and sexy-time and all that jazz? Because if it were left up to me, I'd talk about it 24/7. It's really quite an interesting subject but you have to be careful who to talk to it about as there are decency laws around every corner and packs of lawyers waiting nearby for hapless subjects to come strolling by. Generally I stay quiet and entertain myself somehow, but this makes me look weird and scary, when otherwise I'd just be perverted and horny.

Do women like sex as much as men? I'm really, really confused about this one as I really didn't have any real female friends until senior year of high school (I know)... I was very reclusive then, and if I knew then what I know now, well, maybe I wouldn't of been. But I was and I can't change that. So if I know women are as open to talk about it as men are then it's a huge relief and I guess I can be a little more open.

I am starting to find my friend very (very) attractive. The problem is, she is my friend, and I can't figure out if what I'm feeling is lust, desperation, hunger, some combination of the 3, or whether I actually do like her, in that way, and that bothers me because I've known her for a good deal of time and I don't want to sacrifice that for some momentary happiness. But the problem is, is that it's getting to the point of if I sit on this much longer I'm going to do something I'm going to regret so I need advice post haste on what to do in this situation because I am the stereotypical retarded man and I'm really confused.

Anyway, thanks for reading all that. I don't even really know what answers to expect, but I guess that's half the fun in posting..

dude. I feel for you. 21 year old virgin here. Never had a girlfriend. Never had a kiss. Not even on the cheek. Really depressing to know that your the only virgin at every social gathering you go to.

It's not that I'm shy though. There's just something really repulsive about me... Well, that's all I can figure anyways... I guess cock size isn't everything. Women care about superficial things like personality and such I'm not too good looking either. Women just never seem interested.

My friends always tell me "dude, just whip out your cock, they won't be able to refuse!" Guess I'm not that kind of guy (and, I'm pretty sure that won't work. Women are smarter than that. Aren't they?)

Honestly I've given up at this point. Usually whenever I see women now it just reminds me of rejection and makes me feel humiliated. I just get really bitter and ugly, so I avoid them.