Monday, March 21, 2016

Imzy: Because We Are Now Hipsters

You need to read all the way through this post to find out how to get this shirt. Yes. Stranger just did that annoying thing American Idol does where you have to watch 59 minutes of nonsense to hear 5 seconds of results.

Let me just start by saying that this will be the most hipster post you've ever read on Stranger. So if you have hipster glasses in your house, you may want to put them on real quick. Also, maybe shave one side of your head and wrap a couple of socks tied together around your neck as a scarf.

A little while ago I was approached by the good folks of a new company called Imzy, WHICH IS SO COOL YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD OF IT.

You probably really haven't heard of it because Imzy is just now beta testing a really exciting new online service. They asked me to come meet with them at their office last month in downtown Salt Lake. I didn't know who these people were or what they wanted, but I interpreted all of their communication at me as a threat and I always do whatever any stranger on the Internet tells me to do because I don't know if they have blackmail material and I really don't want Cathie to find out that I know what anything is.

So I went to their super hipster office ON A SCHOOL DAY. They use a ping pong table as their board room table. And everything else in there was made out of school buses, circa 1945. I'm not kidding about this.

They told me that they have created this online service wherein specific "communities" can congregate and interact in an incredibly simple and wonderful Internet space. It looks and functions sort of like the Facebooks, but rather than have a profile page, you create a simple account and then join any community in which you may have some interest. Community members are able to engage with one another, share videos, articles, rants and raves, etc. Imzy has even created ways for people to transact through the service, as well as do a number of other things that probably only the kids will know about.

Aware that our Stranger community is the best thing on the Internet and that we are secretly ruling the world and we're probably responsible for THE ENTIRE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF GOD BLESS AMERICA, Imzy has invited us to be a part of their beta testing.

This is amazing because it means we are cooler than everyone else you've ever met and when Imzy explodes in the near future and people try to tell you about it, thinking you won't have heard of it because you spend all day every day in a blue kitten-embroidered Snuggie singing every single word of "soooooo tell me what you want what you really really want," they won't think you would have heard of this and you can be all like, "actually I was basically the first person to ever use Imzy, this Snuggie is very comfy, and hashtag I woke up like dis." And then you can take a bite out of a block of cheese. Because, cheese.

Anyway, I think Imzy is going to be awesome for us. We love to engage in the comments on Stranger, and I hope that will continue into perpetuity, but it is hard to share and interact that way fully. And I think Imzy is going to be an incredible tool for us to more effectively and privately coordinate our trolling of TMZ and your grandma.

SO, what I need you all to do is to click on this link and request to become a member of our Imzy Community. Once you do so, Imzy will send you an email, which will allow you to join so make sure you keep an eye on your email.

To kick us off, Imzy has decided to sponsor some delightful giveaways. Matt designed the shirt printed above. Imzy is going to give a shirt to the first 25 people who become members of the Community. After that, Imzy has said they will do more giveaways depending on how many people join our community. So let's kick this off with a bang.

This better not be a "let's trick Catherine into this and send her a bazillion emails a day" thing. But I AM a rule-follower and I always and will forever do anything that Eli tells me to do. :) Because I love his hair way too much and it has some sort of power over me. I can't explain it.

Done. Thank heavens the shirt didn't say Tami for President, because then no one would have signed up. Although she would still make a better Republican Presidential Nominee than He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

I'm panicking, because I haven't gotten the email yet and I just know there are hordes of people out there with faster INTERNETS and they are getting their claims in and I will miss out on the shirt (did that ship sail hours ago?!) and so here I sit, all cozy and comfy and hashtag woke up like dis in my snuggie and my half gnawed block of cheese. Also, I'm so unhipster that whenever anyone refers to hipsters I always wonder, again, what exactly those are.

They should be sending the emails pretty quickly after you request one so let me know if you don't get the email within an hour or so after requesting it. Once the first 25 join, I'm told Imzy plans to do some drawings and things among the non-first-25, so even if you weren't as quick as Tami and her friends, you still have a chance at some merchandise. I'll let you know when and how these will happen as Imzy informs me.

I feel betrayed by my own sister. Ames, how could you not text me and tell me that I needed to stop doing everything I was doing and check the blog super fast to make sure I was one of the first 25?!?!

Eli left all of them so I would feel the depth of your betrayal. BUT here's the thing, I still haven't gotten my email from them, hours later. SO I kept thinking I would text/email/call you as soon as I was in because then I would know it was legit but I still haven't gotten anything so now I am wondering if we've all been played by the Master? Slow head nod to you, Eli. (but ps, I still want that shirt, so.... wink back at me if this is going to hit the markets or anything like that. NOT THAT WE KNOW WHAT INSIDER TRADING IS, CATHIE!)

Amy, are you saying you haven't gotten an email inviting you to join? Or you haven't gotten an email about the giveaway? We've had a lot of people join and start using Imzy today so you should have been able to get in by now.

Ok, I'm going to try with a different email. Mimi, did you already try and got your email? If so, I'm starting to feel like that kid at the party that everyone knows wasn't really invited but just won't leave... not that that was ever me at any party ever.

I never got an email the first two times I tried, but I tried again just now with my "secret" email address that I don't like to have to use, and it immediately came. SO I'm in! I'm loved! I'm accepted! I'm HIPSTER. oh wait, yeah cool. Thanks Eli for all the good things in the world!

Is it un-hipster to ask exactly how it's pronounced? (Em-Zee?) (Eye-Em-Zee?) (I'm-Zee?) I'm still having trouble with Memes (Mee-Mee) (Meem) (Mim) (Mimee). So I don't want to be called out as a fake later when I say I was in on the Beta test but don't know what to call it. Are some of you reading this and laughing at me because you seriously didn't thing there was more than one way to pronounce it? Figures. I'm so UN-hipster...sigh...why do i even come here?

I didn't want to do it, because I figured it will be another failed social network, but then I remember how I heard about Twitter and Periscope and others early on, but didn't jump on board, thinking they'd just be failed social networks, and then I missed out on being one of the first to use them. FOMO is real!

Louie, if you're still having problems, this is what Imzy suggested: Have them contact us any of the ways here: https://www.imzy.com/contact or via DM on Twitter (@ImzyHQ) and we'll look into it. (FYI, so far every person that's happened to that has contacted us, it's been because they typoed their email address.)

I have to go check out that confused chicken. Here's hoping Imzy isn't too complicated for me. Also, do you think Eli and all the other strangers LOVE that we have basically turned this into the Amy Mimi chat room? We should meet here more often.

So I requested and got my invite... now, I'm trying to sign up and get this party started and imzy wants me to pick 3 communities before it will let me in. The problem with that is that it's only giving me two options (the other being cosplay). I even went back and selected things that I'm not interested in (seriously, I checked them all) to see if that would give me a third option to pick so that big communal gate would open - that didn't work. There's not even a help button or anything to click!! Strangers, I NEED YOUR HELP!

Brooke, this is what they said to me: Have them contact us any of the ways here: https://www.imzy.com/contact or via DM on Twitter (@ImzyHQ) and we'll look into it. (FYI, so far every person that's happened to that has contacted us, it's been because they typoed their email address.)

I'm really surprised that in MY long absence, Lee has been keeping me company over on my blog and NEGLECTING the Strangers. He hasn't gone to Hawaii, yet, I don't think. That's soon. But seriously. I'm in catch-up mode, and I only know where Lee is because he's been over there. I never intended to abscond with him! I guess in my post tomorrow, it will be an attempt to redirect him over here. Unless somewhere over here, I missed the Kilgrave commandment to him to Leave Eli For A Long Period. Hmmm...

THis is what happens when you stop obsessively checking Stranger every 2 seconds for the next post. You miss the opportunity to win an amazing shirt and prove yourself hipster enough to be friends with Eli

Ah poohey. I saw this a little late. and then when I saw it I convinced myself that I didn't need Imzy in my life because #work and #imtoocoolforbetatesting and #illbeahipsterbynotbeingahipster but now I want in. and all those other reasons seem stupid. and I don't want to wait 7 hours to get an acceptance letter because I've already been waiting 14 years for a Hogwarts acceptance letter and that never came and I don't know how much more rejection my poor perfectly-healthy-and-strong heart can take.