Posts Tagged ‘Woman’

I ran across this quote the other day – “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

I love this quote as it so beautifully expresses the duality of the dilema – there is risk of vulnerability if we visibly blossom. And there is the risk of never fully experiencing our potential if we make ourselves small, hold all our possibilities tight, like a bud. Did you get messages in your upbringing that it was not appropriate to be seen or heard? Not okay to be ‘big’? ‘Too big for your britches’ is a funny expression, but what a limiting message lies therein! Were you taught to make yourself small?

What thoughts does this quote invoke in you? At this time in your journey? Are you ready to expand? Have you feelings of expansiveness trying to bust out? Have you discovered that making yourself small does not serve the world? Have you come to that crossroads where it is time to choose to take the risk to blossom? And your life, as you know it, must shift in order to accomodate your new expression of self?

What is the risk?

Sometimes we fear that our loved ones will not accept the ‘new’ you. Indeed, some friendships may fall away – as there is a time and season for all things. Can you afford to let your season pass?

Soon Spring will be upon us, the season of new growth. Before that energy arrives, allow yourself to sit with these thoughts and feelings of holding back your fullest potential. Allow that potential to be seen in the soft moonlight of your awareness. When you are ready to blossom, allow the sun to shine upon you! And make room for new growth and promise!

“Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.”

Barbara De Angelis

As women, we wear many hats. Play many roles. Woman ~ Wife ~ Mother ~ Daughter ~ Sister ~ Aunt ~ Friend. And in each of those roles, we give of ourselves. We give love, support, compassion, empathy, passion, encouragement, sympathy… it is in our nature to give. There is an exquisite and innate beauty in this giving of self, but within also lies great risk. The risk comes when we do not know our boundaries, honor limits, or neglect to refill our vessels that can flow so generously.

The quote above from Barbara De Angelis captures perfectly what I have known for myself to be true. I deeply need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to replenish. As elemental as food and water for my wellbeing, I must have this time for self in order to maintain my ability to be in this world. I have learned to honor this in myself.

There was a time, however that I compared myself to others who seemed to have this limitless energy – this ability to go on and on in thier giving, their living, thier doing. And I thought myself inferior – unable to compete. While I beleive the quote states the truth for all women, there is an ebb and flow to it – as our energies move in and out like the waves of the ocean. During one stage or moon of our life, we may feel our tides are full and immense. While during another moon, we may feel our energies retreating, even shallow. So, I have let go of comparing….and honor that each of us have the ability, and the responsibility, to check in with ourselves and discern when it is time to go inward.

This time of going inward, the Yin time – gives our mind, body and spirit the opportunity to connect, tune in and be. This is where we connect with our inner wisdom, our intuition. It is where our dreams blossom. Where our authentic self resides. This is where our power originates. In this quiet, reflective place we remember who we are.

This shift towards self can be uncomfortable for some, intimidating for others; and to some even frightening to be left alone with thier thoughts spinning. And to some, it will bring thoughts of selfishness to mind. Afterall, as women we are taught to put ourselves last.

“Self care is not self-indulgence – it is self-preservations” Renee Trudeau

Self care is essential. It is the core nourishent of our mind, body and spirit that must some first in order to allow and empower all we wish accomplish. Self care is the foundation of how I begin the coaching process with my clients. It is the sturdy rock from which they can joyfully and confidently dive into the ocean of thier dreams.

Being a woman is complicated! So many messages – old and new – from media, society, parents, even those messages we carry at a cellular level from earlier generations are always swirling around us. We are unconsciously receiving thousands of these messages daily, often hearing many of them as truths or at least, guidelines for appropriate ways of being in this world.

As the new year approaches, spend some time journaling about what defines you and why. It might be time to let go of some old definitions that no longer serve you, or that may even keep you from growing into your fullest potential. Letting go of old roles or titles that we have defined us for a time can be scary – I mean, who am I without this role? This title? This job? This relationship?

Take your time! You don’t have to evolve New Year’s Eve! Just becoming aware of these definitions for what they are will make your more receptive to what is out there waiting for you! Revisit your journal regularly, as things shift, you can nudge a little further.

Entering in to this new year with a willingness to be free of those limitations can open up a new world of possibilities. Do you want to redefine certain roles in your life? do you want to explore new ones? Or do you want to completely reinvent yourself?

There is a lovely tradition on New Year’s Eve in a small town in Germany where every comes outside close to midnight, and stands on the sidewalk with their neighbors, and step off the sidewalk and into the street at the last stroke of midnight. It represents new hope, new beginnings, new paths. Step off the safely of old roles and step in to your potential. Your fullest potential is just waiting for you!

Nourish Your Body

Cooking for Fertility by Kathryn Simmons Flynn

These wonderful and nourishing recipes offer a simple approach to eating for fertility and any life phase to promote optimum health and that combines modern science with the ancient wisdom of Traditional Chinese Medicine.