Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Well, this morning on the way to school, Lucy took my breath away and my heart has yet to recover.

To be quite honest, I don't want it to recover as I need to remember.

In those times that try me, those times that challenge me to muster up every single ounce of patience...

I need to remember.

I need to remember for her sake...

I need to remember for Lizzie's sake...

I need to remember for Maggie's sake...

and I need to remember for all of those precious ones out there in this fallen world who simply want to be remembered.

This morning, Lucy told me that she wanted to be a baby...

not a typical 7 year old statement...

so I asked Lucy why and it was her answer that took my breath away.

My precious, wonderful Lucy said that she wanted to be able to start over...

then she could be a baby in this family, our family...

Oh my darling Lucy, how I grieve those years for you and for your sisters...

how I yearn to have been able to hold you when you cried, fed you when you were hungry, comforted you when you were sad, celebrated your first steps, heard your first words, seen your first smile, came to you when you were alone and afraid and loved you from day one...

oh - my - heart

My darling Lucy, I can't get back those years but I can hold you now, feed you now, comfort you now, celebrate every single step with you now, listen to you now, smile back at you now, come to you now and love you now.

I can remember now and for always and I can try to make a difference for you and for your sisters and for all those precious ones who wait to be held and fed and comforted and celebrated and heard and smiled at and loved...

Lucy went on to school with a smile on her face as that is just Lucy and this is Lucy's reality now, but it wasn't always and Lucy remembers and those memories always take my breath away...

but the Lord heals and the Lord brings beauty from ashes and the Lord works through and uses our brokenness for His good and His glory and I know that the Lord is using Lucy greatly as I see the transformation of her heart and the compassion that He so gently protected in those years before she knew love.

I have no doubt that Lucy, Lizzie and Maggie will continue to take my breath away and it will be within those breath taking moments that He will continue to enter into and to heal and to use.

Precious Lucy, I may not have known you as a baby but the Lord did and He chose you and He chose us for you and that...

Saturday, March 12, 2016

and I am having a tougher time with this one cause this wasn't supposed to happen!

My youngest son and I had a deal but apparently he has decided that growing up holds more appeal than not...

even with the promise of french fries for dinner every night!

Hey a Mom's gotta do what I Mom's gotta do...

but alas, sweet Caleb has determined that raging hormones, acne, geometry, growing pains, girls (nooooo....), peer pressure and responsibility are better than french fries for life!

Go figure!

*grin*

So my sweet Caleb went right ahead and turned thir(gulp)teen last week and while there have been brief glimpses of "teen", he is still (so far) my sweet, funny, sensitive Caleb who holds my hand, gives me unsolicited hugs and likes to make me laugh!

Oh dear Caleb...

you are amazingly responsible with your sisters...

amazingly tolerant of your brothers...

hehe

and wise beyond your brothers years.

*wink*

You are my baby boy and while I joke (kind of) about my desire to keep you forever young...

I am so excited to watch the Lord's plan for you unfold.

Whether you are an architect, an actor or a comedian, I know the Lord will use you greatly.