Anorexia recovery

For quite few months i've been attempting recovery from anorexia nervosa. My mother convinced me to try eating more and i obliged. This has never been something i really wanted, but i was and still am scared of death and the other consequences of this illness. I've tried going to a psychologist, but i wasn't feeling right seeking this kind of help. So, at the moment, i'm dealing with this alone, trying to convince myself that eating more and gaining weight is okay and completely normal. But i keep failing and thinking that maybe i was better off skinnier and that the past few months were a mistake.

Whatever the BMI chart says is a healthy weight, that is what you maintain. It isn’t about physical appearance, it is about weight. It isn’t about if a BMI chart is 100% perfect science. It is about if a BMI chart is “good enough” to provide a reasonable, healthy weight. The answer is clearly yes.

You select a healthy weight. Maintain that weight.

That way, it is no longer about your personal opinion. It is no longer about the opinion of a mother a friend or anyone else. It isn’t even about the opinion of a medical professional. You simply point to the BMI chart and say “This is a healthy weight, everyone else can f*** off with their opinions. The normal weight provided by BMI is healthy enough for me.”

Part of the recovery from an anxiety disorder like anorexia is understanding your perceptions of reality are often inaccurate. The anxiety makes you see things in a false way, especially when you're still in recovery.

This is why it's vital to see a psychologist or someone, especially if it doesn't feel right. it's not supposed to feel right. If it felt right then you'd already be cured.

Mastering anxiety disorders, in particular, requires we become honest about our inability to manage it by doing what we think or feel is best.

Often for people struggling with anorexia, there’s this belief that they are "not sick enough" to seek treatment or to work towards recovery. It’s important to note that typically there is no point where your "eating disorder self" deems you as "sick enough". If you are struggling, you deserve to seek treatment and support. It's time to see a highly trained mental health professional, such as a licensed psychologist experienced in treating people with eating disorders.