Reno
and Elena entered their shared office hand in hand, looking quite the
young couple. Though of course, the paperwork filing Rude didn't dare
comment on them, as much as the blonde would have liked him to. She
was quite proud of herself, as Reno was the first boyfriend she'd had
in over two years. She had held work as a higher priority than men,
but in the end it had all worked out. Just as long as the two of them
didn't have to go on a mission together, they'd be a fine couple.

"No,
don't worry, I will." Elena replied, the innocent look in her
eyes somehow warning Reno not to argue with her.

"Rude
speaking." At least someone in the office knew how to do their
job. "On my way."

Reno
and Elena watched the stoic form leave the room, both of them
wondering why they hadn't done what he did sooner.

________________________

"Rude,
what is your opinion on Reno and Elena dating?" Tseng asked, the
personal question stunning Rude to the extent that he nearly fell out
of his chair.

"I...Uh..."
Rude began, scratching his bald head and wishing at that moment he
had hair.

Tseng
cleared his throat awkwardly, realising how wrong that had sounded.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound that way. I'm wondering if
them being together is going to affect their work."

His
guest seemed to ease back into his seat then. "Well, quite
frankly...it's an irritation. They don't get anything done, they just
argue about who should do what, and then head into a conversation
about what they're gonna do for dinner each night."

The
raven-haired man nodded his head slowly, anticipating his answer.
"I'm going to have to sort them out. Thankyou, Rude. Please call
them in once you get back to your office."

Straightening
his tie, Rude nodded before exiting the office in a manner that
looked as if he would trip over at any moment. He did.

As
quickly as he had fallen, Rude tied up his shoelace and bolted out
the door, making sure his beet-red face went unnoticed by his boss,
who was secretly chuckling.

That
made my day...

"We
did 7th Heaven on Tuesday, Reno. You'd better not be trying to make
up an excuse to perv on Tifa, because if you are..."

Tseng
heard Elena's voice coming from down the hallway, and Reno's not too
far behind.

The
lovebirds are here.

"Reno,
Elena. Have a seat." Tseng ordered as politely as humanely
possible.

The
couple did as they were told, literally. Elena was seated on Reno's
lap, which didn't make the situation any more bearable for Tseng,
only more of an awkward distraction. Though he wasn't too keen on
asking her to get off him.

"...You're...getting
along well for once." Tseng shook his head instantly. "No,
forget I...Ahem. I have a mission for you two-"

"Really!?
This is our first mission we've ever had together! Isn't this great
Reno!?" Elena exclaimed, though she turned a deep shade of red
when she saw Reno's embarrased face. "Oh, um, sorry Sir.
Continue."

"Shinra
has a suspect for who stole a jar of mutated seahorses Hojo made
before he died. We have no clue as to what this person needs them
for, but I would like you to follow them and get that jar back. This
is of the utmost importance, though why, I am not entitled to say..."

Tseng
unwillingly stopped again as he watched Reno nip at Elena's ear, the
sight distracting him from whatever it was he was saying last.

"That's
it?" Reno asked, a sly smirk dancing upon his lips.

"This
person is identified as a man in his late 20's, with a black beard
and short...here, why don't you use this photo as a reference?
Anyway, make sure you don't let yourself be noticed by this man. He
is a master in the art of both kung-fu and karate, and is not one to
take lightly. Last reports saw him having a coffee at 7th Heaven
around an hour ago. After you've changed into some casual attire, go
there and find whatever evidence you can find as to where he has
gone. You leave immediantly."

"Babe.
This is Hojo we're talking about. His lab is practically Noah's Ark,
times ten!" Reno remarked, ushering for her to stand up so he
could prepare to leave.

"That
made sense..." Elena muttered sarcastically, as she brushed off
her suit.

Tseng
cleared his throat impatiently. "Goodbye now."

The
blonde's face was red enough to make it possible for her to blend in
with a McDonalds sign.

______________________________

"I'll
drive."

Elena
wasn't sure if the smug grin on her boyfriend's face was supposed to
be comforting or teasing, but either way, she wasn't about to let the
maniac drive her brand new red convertible. Even if he did look quite
appealing in his grey denim jeans and loose brown t-shirt.

"It's
alright, I will." Elena retorted, her voice sweet and innocent.

"Babe,
I've had a lot of experience..."

She
smirked then. "Yeah, in car crashes and hit and run incidents.
You're a real expert there, I've gotta say. But I think I'll drive my
own car today."

"Too
late." Reno practically flung himself over her shiny car door
and into the driver's seat, his arm resting upon the window pane in
an irritatingly casual way. "Though I've gotta say, you'd look
pretty hot drivin' this thing...all you need are some sunnies. Rude's
got a wardrobe full, if you're interested."

With
a dark frown, Elena sat in the seat next to him, annoyed with the
fact that it was her car this time, so door-slamming wasn't an
option. "I'll be fine."

A
sigh came from next to her. This was going to be some trip.

_______________________________

7th
Heaven had never been so packed on a Friday morning. There were
people bustling around the small bar, and Tifa wasn't anywhere in
sight-only to be expected. She was probably stressing about all the
breakfast orders she was being given. Though unfortunately, despite
their bad timing, Reno and Elena were going to have to deal with a
stressed bartender.

As
they walked calmly towards the bar, Reno whispered into Elena's
ear-though in the crowded environment it was a fair deal louder,
"Psst. Babe, the breeze outside wasn't kind to your skirt."

For
at least the tenth time that day, Elena's face flushed. Trying to
look casual, she brushed down the back of her black skirt, glad she
had decided to wear leggings for the mission.

"Yo,
Denz, where's Tifa?" Reno asked the small boy behind the
counter, Elena rather stumped as to why he was serving in such a
place.

"Why
should I tell you!?" Denzel retorted, louder than necessary. His
brown eyes flashed with fury and his fist wasn't far behind, until it
was blocked by Reno's firm grasp.

"Why
not?" Reno answered, a puzzled expression evident on his face.

Elena
put her hands behind her back and pretended to show interest to the
menu several feet away. "Sushi sounds good..."

"You
made Marlene cry!" The brown-haired boy yelled, his face flushed
with anger.

"Oh,
what, 'cause I didn't eat her crayon burger?" Reno chuckled at
that, remembering the episode earlier that morning when he came for
his daily alcohol fix-just enough to get him through a long day at
work.

"Grr,
it was a skittle sandwich, asshole!" Elena jumped with shock at
the boy's newfound word, and almost giggled when she imagined Marlene
feeding Reno lollies on bread.

The
three turned towards the staircase where the voice had come from. A
frazzled brunette walked down them, looking frustrated and almost
sick.

"Tifa!"
Denzel gasped, running up to her with his arms open. "You don't
look too good."

"Mmm..."
Tifa mumbled, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "I'm
okay sweetie. Is Cloud doing okay? This place is so busy..."

Denzel
nodded hastily. "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine, Tifa. But can
you please go back to bed? You look sick!"

With
a minute of hesitation as she surveyed her busy bar, Tifa finally
nodded. "Okay."

Tifa
helping them was now out of the question. They had only Cloud left,
and Reno hadn't ended their last meeting on the best of terms. That
left only Elena. But he was certain the ex-Soldier wouldn't want to
help a Turk.

"Laney?"
Reno asked, an idea forming in his mind.

"What?"

"I
think I saw a wig saleswoman just outside. Come on."

He
was right when he said that. A woman of about 20 sat at a small desk
outside 7th Heaven, a huge rack of wigs for sale in front of her.
There were long wigs, short wigs, fat wigs, blonde wigs, green wigs,
curly wigs, afro wigs, plain wigs and monkey wigs. The list was
endless.

Once
Elena had stopped admiring a fancy black wig, she was met by the
horrifying sight of Reno in a bright green afro-not a good sight at
all.

"Sure,
that'll be 42 gil. Bargain price." With a quick exchange, Elena
awkwardly placed the wig on her head, the struggling redhead under
her arm not really helping.

Elena
began to drag the redhead towards the bar, adding with a wink to the
wig seller, "Oh and I'd be careful if I were you...This guy
holds grudges."

Within
instants, the 'sold out' sign went up and the woman scuttled away.

People
these days...So gullible.

_______________________________

"Um,
excuse me, Sir?" Elena began saying to the blonde bartender. "I
was wondering if you've seen my Dad around here? He said he'd come
here for a coffee while I went clothes shopping, and that was an hour
ago. And my mobile is out of credit, so I don't know what to do."

It
was a poor lie, but Cloud seemed to have fallen for it-and her, from
the look in his eyes. "I'm sure I can help. What did he look
like?"

Elena
tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear, revealing a gold hoop
earring that Cloud seemed to be fond of. "Here's his photo."

Cloud
watched her take out the photo and hand it to him, so awestruck by
the young woman's beauty that he almost forgot to take it.

As
he surveyed the photo, a glint of knowledge flecked in his blue eyes.
"Yeah, I saw this guy. Came around an hour ago, like you said.
He was reading a newspaper-Edge Eagle, I believe. When I served his
coffee, he seemed to be looking pretty interested in an advertisement
for the free barbecue down at the park. You'd be best off checking
there. And if you can't find him, let me know and I'll do whatever I
can to help you out."

Elena
beamed, her brown eyes sparkling with joy. "Thanks so much! You
don't know how much this means to me."

Just
for the fun of it, she planted a lipstick kiss on his cheek as she
left, though he didn't seem to mind.

"Hey,
what was that for!?" Reno exclaimed, his face flushed with a
mixture of embarrassment and anger.

Elena
cocked her head to the side and fluttered her eyelashes innocently.
"What was what for?"

She
copied Reno's entrance into the driver's seat, wearing a pair of
sunglasses from an unknown source. She smirked devilishly at her
stunned boyfriend. "Too much to take in, big guy?"

"Yep,
I did." She pulled her brown wig off and threw it out of the
car. "But I
didn't."

His
mortified expression was soon replaced with a proud smirk. Having a
Turk as a girlfriend was a lot of fun. So were her kisses.

"That's
my girl. So, where are we-"

Elena
slammed her boot against the accelerator before Reno could finish his
sentence, and arrived at the park before he could catch his breath.
This day was full of surprises.

"Woah.
What's gotten into you?" His grin was widening by the minute. "I
mean, I know women have mood swings, but this is..."

Elena
silenced him with a finger to his lips, which he kissed tentatively.
Pulling him by the hand, she led him towards the mouth-watering scent
of cooking sausages, which Reno began to sniff pleasurably, a hint of
drool forming at the corner of his mouth. "'Lena, we're getting
a sausage sandwich before anything else...Speaking of which, why are
we here?"

"Because
I know where the culprit is." Elena replied smoothly, a bold
sparkle in her eyes. "There."

She
pointed towards a cluster of people who included the tall, disguised
man they were after, though Reno seemed to get the wrong impression.

"Whew,
I didn't think he
was a she!
You coulda warned me 'Lena." Reno gaped, staring at a rather
obese woman's behind until he recieved a light slap on the cheek.

"I'll
have to knock him out." Elena decided, a frown of concentration
showing on her face, contrasting with Reno's confused one.

But
before he could respond, his girlfriend's fist was upon the cloaked
man's cheek, who soon crumpled to the ground, much like the wicked
witch of the west. He wouldn't have been surprised if the cloak
turned into a pool of liquid, with all the odd things happening
today.

"Elena,
you idiot! This guy is an expert at martial arts! And you're not
Tifa!"

As
Elena pulled the item out of the fallen man's pocket, she felt a hand
clutch her arm tightly, and was swiftly pulled to the ground in a
lock that she was bound by. She cried out for Reno, who was already
yanking the man's cloak back, but as his face was revealed, they
realised everything.

"I
feel so pathetic..." Reno muttered, shaking his head sadly as he
helped Elena get to her feet.

The
'culprit' was already standing and brushing off his cloak. "You
did okay."

Elena
huffed. "Reno, this is all your
fault!"

"How
is it my fault!? You're the one who punched him in the face!"
Reno retorted, glaring at his girlfriend with a steely eye.

"It's
always your fault!"

Rude
began to whistle a chirrupy tune to himself as he trotted towards his
car, leaving the arguing couple to themselves. And he couldn't forget
his top hat-he was growing quite fond of the item. It hid his
baldness.

____________________________

"So
Rude, how did it go?" Tseng asked, leaning back in his armchair
with his hands in his lap. He was oblivious to how queer he had just
sounded, and it was disturbing the poor Turk with the top hat.

"It
went great." Rude answered with a half-hearted nod that Tseng
saw right through.