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Recap: Tardy for the Party 2.0

Well the "Savannah Excursion" didn't exactly get off to a great start. We begin the episode with NeNe packing and Gregg not helping.

And before NeNe shipped out, she made sure to leave specific instructions that Brentt gets his phone taken away before bed and Gregg sticks to an 8 PM curfew.

Kandi swung by to get some advice from Cynthia about how to deal with meddling moms. And it. Got. Real. Kandi broke down about Joyce and the "Old Lady Gang" (which side note was an amazing description) ruining her dress fitting. Like Cynthia, I think everyone just went ahead and grabbed some tissues and started tearing up. I mean how sad is it when you don't think you can invite your own family to your wedding?

But props to Cynthia for getting straight to the heart of it and telling Kandi to check her mom before she loses Todd.

We then head over to Phaedra's office where Ayden once again proves that he may be the cutest child that ever lived. Apollo better remember to bring home his big bike!

Things however got decidedly less cute once Joyce entered the room looking to Phaedra for answers about pre-nups. Phaedra tried her best to be diplomatic in answering Joyce's questions, but was understandably thrown when Joyce asserted that she should have never introduced "two short people with big heads." And when Phaedra sweetly suggested that Todd and Kandi are meant to be together, Joyce said she wanted to choke her. Luckily Phaedra Sparks was not needed, but yikes!

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Speaking of stun guns, while Kenya twerked and packed, we learned that she may or may not be bringing an actual gun to Savannah. Because who doesn't bring a firearm to a weekend away with your girlfriends?

At what must be Atlanta's most expensive shoe boutique, Porsha opted for the sensible $3,500 glittery ankle boots rather than the $7,000 glittery gladiator sandals because she is on a budget. All I can say is I would like to be on whatever budget Porsha's on.

Presumably emboldened after her talk with Cynthia, Kandi sat down with her mom and really took the hard line with her, calling her out for the craziness at the dress fitting. Somebody needs to hand Kandi a Daughter of the Year trophy at the end of this season though, because she manages to stay completely calm throughout the entire talk even when Joyce turns things around on Kandi. Kudos, Kandi!

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Now do we all believe Joyce will keep her word and stay out of Kandi and Todd's relationship? For now, I personally am just going to hope the answer is yes.

After shopping for shoes and packing heat, the day of departure to Savannah finally arrives, and hostess NeNe set up a lovely champagne brunch to start the trip off right. But somehow this brunch went oh so wrong. Why you ask? Because it might as well have been the music video for "Don't Be Tardy for the Party." To sum up: Kenya was 25 minutes late, Cynthia was and hour and a half late, Porsha was an hours and 45 minutes late, Kandi was 2 hours 45 minutes late (at least in part because she made a pit stop at Chick-fil-A), and Phaedra clocked in last at a whopping 3 hours late. NeNe literally managed to get mad, go home, and then come back to board the bus in that time!

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But I think we can all agree the real travesty here was that they kept poor Gregg and his roses waiting! Am I right? (P.S. how adorable was it hearing Gregg repeatedly refer to the trip as the "Savannah Excursion"?)

Now just as you thought NeNe was going to deliver a withering speech to the girls, Kenya launched into an angry rant on NeNe's behalf (even though NeNe didn't ask her to) about everyone being late and how NeNe should get the best room, and so on and so forth. At which point you could see the steam begin to spurt from Kandi's ears and she just ripped into Kenya and basically told her to just stop talking.

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It was then that NeNe and we the viewers all did the same motion:

Will this bus ever leave for Savannah? For better of for worse, the previews of next week suggest that the answer is yes. If you need something to lighten your mood, check out the moment next Sunday when Porsha learns the Underground Railroad was in fact not an actual railroad and did not use actual trains.