Posts Tagged yorkshire

The West Yorkshire economy is set for a massive boost over the next few months – and it’s all thanks to a third division football team.

For the last two years, the staff of Leeds United have suffered a collective bout of choking. The symptoms usually begin in spring time, when the previously calm and healthy players suddenly start to choke uncontrollably, resulting in a freefall down the league table.

Elland Road officials are particularly worried as this year the choking began in January, putting even their customary division three play-off adventure in doubt.

So now the club – currently ranked the seventh best in Yorkshire – has taken a dozen paramedics off the dole queue to tackle the latest epidemic.

Meanwhile, the city’s supermarkets have stocked up with bulk supplies of Klennex to cope with the imminent demand from fans wiping away tears from their painted faces after their annual Wembley disappointment.

And bookshops in Leeds have ordered in more stocks of A-Z travel guides to Accrington, Chesterfield and Rochdale, so that the Whites fans can navigate their way to games next season.

Leeds United officials were unavailable for comment as, like all Wessies, they are all on Withernsea beach the moment there’s a drop of sunlight.

BBC Radio Five Live commentator Alan Green really should know better. Lives in Cheshire, supports Liverpool, has covered football matches for thirty years – he’s not some braying, London-centric junior. So you’d expect him to have a rudimentary knowledge of who Hull City are, which division they are in and in which city the team plays.

But I’m reliably informed that on at least three occasions when Leeds United fans have called his radio phone-in he’s expressed the hope that the W***e S***e gain two quick promotions as ‘Yorkshire needs a Premier League team.’ Erm, excuse me, but which bit of that phrase does Hull City not fulfil?

Besides that, Sheffields United and Wednesday, Barnsley and Doncaster Rovers are all much closer to joining the Tigers in the top flight – Middlesbrough too, depending on which boundaries you wish to set for Yorkshire.

According to his Wikipedia entry, Green’s fallen out with, among others, Sir Alex Ferguson, Mark Saggers and Sam Allardyce, while he’s made racist remarks about black and Chinese people. Well, you can add Hull City fans to the list of people he’s insulted.

After the Smog Monsters’ relegation, the debate over whether they’re a rubbish Yorkshire side (as they were seen traditionally) or a rubbish North Eastern side (as they are happy to be portrayed nowadays) becomes irrelevant.

And with a woeful Sheffield United falling well short of Premier League quality in the play-off final yesterday, it confirms what everyone has alway known in their hearts anyway – Hull City is Yorkshire’s finest team.

* The best league team in Yorkshire (17th in the Premier League).
* The best FA Cup team in Yorkshire (quarter finalists).
* The best reserves team in Yorkshire (9th in the Reserves Premier League North).
* The best youth team in Yorkshire (2nd in North East Youth Alliance).

No Yorkshire team fared better in any of these competitions.

And with Hull Kingston Rovers currently the county’s top Rugby League side, who can argue that Hull is the sporting capital of Yorkshire?