LTT gets Legal

Hun, have you been keeping up with your "Read the Bible in 365 Days" schedule?

Dear Kellan,

When I first saw this picture I fell in love with you Mom, cause she’s sooooo well, a MOM. She know’s how to have a Chico’s kind of day while in LA with her sun. The capri cargo pants, the floral paisley flowing top coupled with what can only be a pair of Born sandals. They are SO comfy, I know I’ve worn my mom’s around the block one time. I wanted to tell you how much I love her Classy Cuts bob and the obligatory bump in the back that can only be made with a “rat” comb and some Salon Selectives aerosol hairspray! She’s awesome to say the least. I also imagine her to be asking you how your bible study small group is going. Are you inviting new lost souls to the group? What are you thoughts on The Purpose Driven Life 2 (really purposeful!), and when your singles group is having it’s next progressive dinner.

Too bad she was cut short when you got to the restaurant and Anna-Lynn was there lookin’ all kinds of wind blown and she figured out it wasn’t going to be a mom and son brunch but a mom meet my “girlfriend” brunch. I feel sad for her.

After I thought about ALL of that I got distracted by your shirt. What could “Men for Women Now.com” be? So of course I Ctrl T’d and typed that shiz in and what I found made me laugh. And laugh. And laugh. When I opened the website the following video starts auto playing

Who doesn’t love BOOBS? Really, it should be called Boob-book! HEH HEH. Ok Kevin Connolly, you can drop you “E” persona when you’re talking about boobs and breast cancer it’s just creepy.

So yes Kellan loves boobs and he loves saving them. So much so he wears a shirt about it while walking with his Betty Baptist Mom. Oh how I love this whole picture.

Thank you for caring about boobs and for giving me the best start to my weekend!

I see that you convinced Taylor to go to the Olive Garden for a lunch of all-you-can-eat “Soup, Salad and Breadsticks” so that you can finally get that last punch on your frequent diner card. Free chocolate lasagna with you next meal here you come! It’s also nice that you swung by Santa Monica Ave to pick up a local tranny to participate in your “Launter for a day” charity that you started with the family. Every weekend the family picks up a stray tranny/hobo/Disney star to “adopt for the day” and show them what Lautner-style hospitality is really all about. What they don’t know if that for every diner you bring in you get an extra punch on your card, so really it’s cutting your time till you get the free dessert in half. You’re SO smart, no one could pull a “shocker” on you! You’re pretty much the reason Outback had to stop their frequent diner program, after a week of consecutive lunches with the cast of The Suite Life plus all the ladies from Jumbo’s Clown Room (look it up) they almost went bankrupt from giving out so many free Bloomin’ Onions. Way to stick it to the man!

Dearr LTT-ers, Frequently we open the mail bag to bring you letters from our readers. Today’s letter is from K who argues that Twilight is a chick flick and should NOT be watched by watched or the books read by guys. Read her letter and tell us what you think. XO-Moon

For ladies only?

Dear UC and Moon,

Due to a recent development in my love life (thank goodness, right? I was getting a little bored with a lack of one) I think I’ve come to a realization, and that is this: I don’t want to date a unicorn. 😮 *gasp!* I know, right?!

We adore our beloved unicorns. We encourage them. We create them (to the best of our abilities). So why on earth wouldn’t I want my new interest to become one?

Lets face it: Twilight is a chick flick. Movie and books both. There’s absolutely no arguing against that. I don’t care how many wired stunts, mirror crashing action, and buttcrack santa jokes you throw in there; it’s still one of the biggest chick flicks ever. I’ve heard so many people try and argue this point and fight against, but truth is truth. So without further adieu, I give you my stance.

You know it’s a chick flick when:

it’s a love story

the fan base is undeniably, predominantly female and has a “tween” rep

you here shrieks of glee when the title flashes across the screen

the lead male is frequently referred to as “beautiful” on and off screen

it inspires products like lip gloss and shimmer powder

the lead male sparkles

the lead female is fully clothed for over 95% of the movie.

there’s a prom scene and no one dies (so closebella)

the subjects discussed between characters include dresses, boobs, characters’ relationship status’, and the swim team’s peens.

the dialogue includes words and terms like “irrevocably”, “matriculate”, “masochistic”, “Debussy”, and “spidermonkey”.

there’s more silent, awkward turtle, moments then there is action

the only weapons are mind powers which do not translate visually.

fans constantly fight over who’s the dreamiest

it takes place in a forest setting and there’s no sign of elves, dwarves, or an extra-terrestrial fought by a commando who states “If it bleeds, you can kill it.”

And lets face it, as far as chick flicks go, this one is unconditionally and irrevocably one of the chick-iest of them all. Which brings me back to why I would never date a unicorn. Girls always talk about how they want a sensitive guy, who’s not afraid to show his emotions, or cry. Fine, good, be sweet and adorable and cry when your puppy gets hit by a car, but for the love of all that is good and right in this world, do not run out of the room in horror when a spider is spotted and do NOT like Twilight.

*in light of all that’s happened over the last 24hrs, make your own assumptions, look at the pics, and take everything with a grain of salt and decide if it really matters to you. We’re still fans of the books and movies and that’s what matters!*

Dear LTT-ers, gossip hounds, lookie loos, Robstens and Nonstens-

Here’s my story as it appears partially on Radar Online.

First you must know that we are mostly “don’t get a crapsten,” around here. We’ve presented both sides of the Robsten vs Nonsten side and have left it up to you to decide. And once again in light of what’s happened we take that stance again. So without further adieu here are the deets as it happened.

Last night fellow fan and pal Ashley and I went out to the Hotel Cafe to catch the Bobby Long show cause well he has amazing music and ya never know there’s always a chance! We roll up to the venue grab some prime standing location next to the front of the stage near the front door emergency exit. So we’re cooking along, beverages in hand, meet the lovely Emmelouwhoo and settle in to enjoy Bobby’s music. A few songs in around 10PM we hear someone pounding on that front exit and a few of us glance over there in time to see Marcus Foster walked in followed by Rob Pattinson in that unmistakable black beanie (and apparently Kristen who we didn’t see till later) and don’t catch anything else cause I turn around to confirm with Emmeloowhoo and Ashley that I was not in fact having Bella style visions of Rob flashing in my head. And they can confirm that it was indeed Rob in the flesh. We saw him for about all of a second as they made a quick step to the right of the door behind a very small curtain. At this point I was looking for my Comic Con preparedness kit because we all needed a paper bag for hyperventilating because I was standing one person away from this curtain.

A few songs pass and we notice that the crowd wasn’t freaking out, so we surmised that it was either because this is LA and most folks hardly get star struck after living here a few years or in fact they really did sneak in almost undetected. Now as much as I will rep for LA, judging by our own silent freak outs, I don’t think most of them would have stayed that nonchalant had they known Rob was maybe a foot or two away from them.

It was nearing the end of the set and a few songs at the end Bobby glances over to that little curtained off area and a little look of recognition passes and he smiles and give them the nod. At this point we knew Bobby was ending his set so we made the executive decision to divide and conquer and head for the front. It was pretty obvious he wouldn’t leave through the crowd of people and that he would head straight back out that front exit.

Ashley and I headed for the front and hung out against the wall. It was us, a valet dude, a hobo and two German chicks. No paparazzi, no nothing. Then things started happened. The door opened and Marcus rushed out right into the street and hailed a cab. At this point we knew he was headed out. Marcus gets the cab (about 1030) as close as he can which is probably about 20 feet or less from where we were standing and they would definitely have to walk in front of us. Then Marcus walks back to the door, and out comes Rob!! Yes, I saw Rob Pattinson and he walked in front of me. If I had reached out my hand I would have touched him. He walked half bent over (like in the photo) and booked it for the cab. NO bodyguards! We had a few seconds to look at him and then shocker of shockers right behind him by a few feet walks Kristen Stewart! At that point we are both shocked because we did not see her walk in. She walks fast by us doing that patented KStew hair thing and awkward walk to follow Rob and Marcus out to the cab. Marcus jumps into the cab first, followed by Rob who half flies in and then Kristen jumps in and they speed off crouching down. Because I am half shocked I get one pic of them jumping into the cab and one of the cab speeding away towards Sunset. Sorry for the shizzy quality but I didn’t want to use the flash and it is from my blackberry. As much as I would love to scoop it with a better picture, that’s really not my style and I thought a lot about even posting that one (ask the gals who went with me).

Now that is the whole story. Take from it what you want, make your own assumptions but mine are as follows…

Rob, Kristen and Marcus came to see Marcus and Rob’s friend Bobby play a show

There was NO touchy-feel-y business happening from what we saw of them leaving or from behind the curtain. I feel as though if they had been doing anything behind that curtain the very immature girls next to us would have flipped out and we would have seen something through the flimsy curtain

That curtain area is less than the size of my arms outstretched. Any shenanigans could be because of that and if Rob and Kristen were touching than Rob was definitely SPOONING Marcus too as it is TINY!

They left somewhat separately. A known paparazzi trick is to walk far enough apart so they can’t be shot together, but there were no paparazzi

Rob practically ran from the door to the cab leaving Kristen to shuffle to the cab by herself

He gets in the cab first, doesn’t touch her or allow her to jump in first. If they were together I would think he’d wait for her and allow her to get in. Who knows though

Both of them being together in public at all could point to the fact either they’re together or just don’t care

A good portion of that small audience did not see this or know anything went down as evidenced by the fact no one was talking about it after the show minus a small group (us and the hobo!)

Our small group thinks they’re either JUST friends (meh) or totally friends with benefits but don’t lean towards any official couple status. Again proof = truth and this is just a picture of them getting into a cab with Marcus after seeing a friend play.

So there ya have it… are they together? Are they not? Does it make a difference to you? What say you?!
Themoonisdown

Who could that be getting into that cab? 🙂 I know you don’t care but I’ll let everyone else’s imaginations run wild. Suffice it to say you were awesome and everyone will have to check back here for the full scoop.

On the heels of last weeks super successful Hardball: Is Kristen Stewart pregnant? post, I’ve decided to tackle another subject close to my heart: Living single in a Twilight/Rob kind of world! Yup, free feel to sing that to the tune of the Living Single theme song. I feel like a good portion of our audience are mature adult women in relationships and I wanted to give a platform to the other side of the equation. What is is like to be a single adult lady and like a YA novel about Vampires? How has obsessing over Rob and other Twi stars affected their relationships and pursuit of life and boys? And most of all how in the crap will we meet Rob and have him fall madly in love with us? Cause after all that’s a possibility when you’re single!

So again I’ve gathered a panel of the brightest, smartest raddest ladies from the LTT/LTR family to participate in a Sex and the City style round table discussion (aka chat). Just imagine us in the coffee shop with our most awesomest shoes (you’ll see those, don’t worry!) sipping cocktails and dishing the dirt on everything from boys to friends to Twitter to Jonathan Brandis. Yup, we hit it all.

Welcome to Part One (yes we had to break it up there was so much good stuff!) of Living Single in a Twilight Kind of World *cue music*

Heels and a High Life that's the way Moon rolls

Moon: So ladies, just so you can introduce yourselves and let all those good viewers out there know who you are, I’ll start this how i start all my creepy online chats… A/S/L?Moon: 26/female/los angeles… oh and send us tweetpics of your fabulous shoes while we chat…Brooke: 29-F-Phillychelsea: 24/F/Orange CountyCalli: 25/f/Phillyjanetrigs: 55/M/texasaramisette: 28/F/Bostonjanetrigs: Okay noooBrooke: oh Janetjanetrigs: 31/F/DCfreya: 34/AlbuquerqueBrooke: Freya, you a man? didn’t want to tell us?Moon: pre op?janetrigs: She must totally be a manfreya: Sorry, 24/ALL WOMAN/AlbuquerqueMoon: trannies living in a rob world!freya: Dang–I just took my age down by ten years!janetrigs: Trannies in Rob world seems NORMALchelsea: Pre or Post-op?

Freya likes booty with her heels

Single and Ready to Mingle?
Calli: i’m drinking disarono on the rocksBrooke: That’s normal!Moon: so are we all single or in some sort of relationship?Calli: and i’ve got rootbeer vodka on the backburnerMoon: calli is classy. i want to be calli when i grow upjanetrigs: Rootbeer vodka!!freya: Single.Calli: singlearamisette: singleBrooke: Singlejanetrigs: single, of coursechelsea: I prfer Unencumbered to single..freya: “Unencumbered”–LOLMoon: foot loose and fancy free!aramisette: unencumbered is better. shows u don’t need a manjanetrigs: Well I’s divorcedjanetrigs: Is that diff from single, I like to think NOOOOBrooke: Janey has a wusbandCalli: i’m going to go with “suffering from limited options”aramisette: u choose to be this wayjanetrigs: Wasbands suck just so you know. But no kids thank the lordMoon: couldnt match up to rob?janetrigs: No one can Moonjanetrigs: No one is ever gonna match up to rob, that’s why I go for the drunk ones, closest to him I thinkMoon: HAHAHA amen we’re getting there

Follow the cut to learn more about cover stories, batteries and which Rob is our favoriteContinue reading →

(We’re gonna play a little game… every time I tell you you’re going to hit the button in this link when I tell you to and then proceed… NOW don’t hit it YET until I say so… alright aaaaand GO…)

Dear LTT-er’s-

It’s once again Monday (hit it!), and the debauchery of the weekend is now a distant memory (except that hickey) (hit it!) and instead of being curled up in bed reading Twilight or out with your friends wildin’ out or getting your drunk on in the Friday Night Crunk thread at the forum, we’re at work (hit it!). So in lieu of crying into your spreadsheets or that 3rd cup of coffee, let’s take a trip around the internet and laugh our faces off together.

Now you KNOW Twilight is getting big when entries on two of my favorite sites: F*ck My Life and Texts From Last Night start popping up and mention the saga. For the uninitiated, F My Life (FML) is a daily dose of short anecdotes based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with “Today” and end with “FML”. When my friend sent me this one I KNEW I had to share…

click to maximum LOL's

(Hit the button!)

Now my newest favorite website is Textsfromlastnight.com and I just happened to catch a few today that you have to see. TFLN is a site where people submit texts messages they’ve received or sent after a particularly awesome or terrible night!

clicky for maximum LOL's

(Hit it!)

Who hasn’t sat around wondering things like this on occasion? Why didn’t the Cullens use their powers for good like killing Bin Laden (hit it!), or to help save the polar bears from extinction (hit it!), or heck, how come the Cullens couldn’t stop Sparks from never being produced again (hit it!)?! On these occasions I may or may not have been drunk.

clicky for maximum LOL's

(hit it!)

Capt Crunch donuts AND Jasper Hale? COME ON! Where and how do I get both of these delivered to my office right now? Oh wait… one’s a fictional character (hit it!).

Now I dare you to get through a day without wanting to use the button after your boss tells you you need to come in early tomorrow or finding out you’re up for a yearly review but because of the economy, all raises have been suspended (hit it!)

Now back to work kids! (hit it!)
Themoonisdown

PS While you’re in the forum today don’t forget to check out the video topic where the lovely Jena is going to be bringing us the very best in moving images! I saw a sneak peek of todays and I highly suggest you keep the button handy!