This being a site dedicated to making fun of movies (“making fun,” not “ridiculing,” minor but important distinction) called “FilmDrunk,” Oscars night drinking games are kind of our “thing.” We’ve a storied tradition of creating Oscars drinking games around these parts. While I don’t expect you to care about the Oscars – what super old, super white dudes think about movies is of limited importance to anyone who can make their own decisions – but if you are going to watch, you might as well make some fun of it. And what better way to have fun than to get mega super butthoused? (If any recovering alcoholics are reading this, just pretend you didn’t read that – keep on keepin on, brah. Just convert all drinking instructions below to push-ups).

Red Carpet pre-game. Drink every time someone says who designed their outfit. Drink twice every time Ryan Seacrest makes someone feel awkward. Drink three times if you see any animal actors. Finish your drink if they interview Harvey Weinstein.

I was about to lay down some serious voodoo curses on you and you’re entire family for not having Tobey Maguire in that banner pic. Then I noticed the previous post and all was right with the world again. Praise be to Lin.

I hope Vince remembers this for his Comic-Con drinking game. I like picturing him taking a sip from his rye whiskey-filled hydration backpack every time he hears the term “graphic novel” as he stumbles around San Diego.