When the Chicks were small, we had a visitor coming, so DH put the bunk beds together so that the Chicks could share a room and free up the other room for Granny. The Elder Chick was 'helping' - for a given value of 'help' - and climbing up the bed frame, swinging on the ends etc etc. Presently he announced loudly 'I'm a Pie!' DH was used to small boy conversation and much too experienced to ask why, so he simply said cheerfully, 'Are you? What sort of pie?'

'Huh?' said Baffled Elder Chick.

'Apple pie? Rhubarb pie? Chicken pie?'

Elder Chick stared at him as if he was the stupidest daddy ever, and enunciated clearly 'I'm up high.

We have two cats. I am the official claw trimmer. The newer, younger cat does not much like having her claws trimmed. So one day after a struggle, I announced to my husband, "well at least I got 6 paws done" He replied, "on which cat?"

After I stared at him for awhile, we realized he had heard 6 claws. As far as I know my cats are the normal four legged variety.

My BF has the bluetooth through the microphone in the headliner of the car into the car's audio system... And it rarely, if ever, understands his commands. Example : he'll say 'Call Mom' and the car lady robot voice replies 'Calling Tom' etc., etc...

So yesterday we're talking about our friend, Mark Schwimmer... BF was in a silly mood and says, 'oh, I'll just call him' then he pushes the blootooth button on the steering wheel and commands 'Call that mother jumper now!' and the car responds 'Calling Mark Bremmer on mobile'. We went hysterical with laughter! (the car misunderstood what he said, but called who we were talking about... So crazy!!!)

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Once in a while you get your delight, in the strangest of faces if you look at it right...

We have two cats. I am the official claw trimmer. The newer, younger cat does not much like having her claws trimmed. So one day after a struggle, I announced to my husband, "well at least I got 6 paws done" He replied, "on which cat?"

After I stared at him for awhile, we realized he had heard 6 claws. As far as I know my cats are the normal four legged variety.

That made me giggle.

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What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

We have two cats. I am the official claw trimmer. The newer, younger cat does not much like having her claws trimmed. So one day after a struggle, I announced to my husband, "well at least I got 6 paws done" He replied, "on which cat?"

After I stared at him for awhile, we realized he had heard 6 claws. As far as I know my cats are the normal four legged variety.

We have two cats. I am the official claw trimmer. The newer, younger cat does not much like having her claws trimmed. So one day after a struggle, I announced to my husband, "well at least I got 6 paws done" He replied, "on which cat?"

After I stared at him for awhile, we realized he had heard 6 claws. As far as I know my cats are the normal four legged variety.

I just returned from vacation with my in-laws, whom I adore, especially MIL.

While we were in Key West, during our in-room nightly Happy Hour, we began discussing the new addition to their bathroom: a bidet insert for the toilet. And cue the giggles as 4 adults (one of whom is her son and reeeeeeally doesn’t want to hear about anything that has to do with his mom’s nether regions) discuss the pros and cons of having a bidet and how nice they are for people of the feminine persuasion without saying anything overtly s&xual.

At one point, she stopped talking while my FIL’s phone rang and he stepped outside to take the call. As he returned, MIL says, “It’s getting kind of corroded now.”

I look at DH and say, “Oh please God, I hope she’s talking about the bidet.”

In college, for some reason I can't remember, the guys liked to say "Hooters, nickles and spam." One of them said it when we were hanging out and I said "Did you just say nipples?" "No, I said "nickles" not nipples, why would I say nipples?"

Well I have no idea, that's just what it sounded like!

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

I was on the speech team in high school and this happened to one of my friends/teammates.

This was in the "original oratory" division, in which the participant delivers a 10 minute original speech on the topic of his or her choice. The first thing you do in this event when it is your turn is say "The title of my speech is [whatever your title is]". This friend usually got very good scores on her speech, but one time, with one judge, she scored really low, and nobody could figure out why.

Then, after the meet was over and we all saw our actual score sheets (not just the posted numbers), we figured out why.

In the space for "title of speech", this judge had written "Youth in Asia".

And what was my friend's speech actually about? Wait for it..."Euthanaisa".

So, apparently this judge thought the speech made no sense, and for some reason never realized her mistake.

Luckily, though, it didn't seriously affect anything overall, and we all laughed ourselves sick about it.

Last night we were eating and I was getting on my husband about eating healthy and then he said "I am going to have a slice of jammed bread!" I thought he said the D word so smacked him with my spoon since our little one was right there..He said "I said J A MM ED" lol..I told him it sounded like the other word lol..Then he teased me saying "Jam it! " of course our daughter started saying it..and we had to get after her since it sounded so much like the other word!

This used to happen to me all the time when I lived in Big City. When DH and I were dating, we liked to try various types of authentic world cuisines, and the combination of accents, restaurant noise, and being all mooney-eyed was very, very bad for my listening comprehension.

We tried a shabu-shabu restaurant, and I ordered a tea with milk (I like hot tea with milk, it's what I usually order). The waitress said what I thought was "eh? With milk?" and I said yes, please. When she returned with our drinks, she brought me a tall glass with cold milky tea, a straw, and what appeared to be ice cubes floating in it. OK, we're here to try new things, right?

So I took a sip through the oversized straw, and almost choked to death on what appeared to be a cat's hairball. Turns out it was "bubble tea", and the floating things were balls of tapioca. How we got from "milk please" to "tapioca", I have no idea.

On another evening, we were eating Mexican and I ordered coffee afterwards. The waitress said what I thought was, "Cream?" I know she only said one syllable, and it was a question. I answered "yes please."

She brought me flan. I hate flan. I asked DH afterward, and he said, "yes, you did order it, I was surprised because I know you hate flan." I still can't figure out why someone would order coffee, and you would reply with, "Flan?" DH ate it.

So now, when DH and I are misunderstanding each other, we say, "Flan? You want flan with that?"