Even though much of my work is focused on mentoring teens, I spend just as much time speaking with moms. I hear about their hopes and worries for their girls. One common theme that’s popped up centers around raising capable kids. Everyone wants their daughters to be able to take care and advocate for themselves. It might seem backwards, but one of my secrets to raising capable kids is to let them fail.

I was given permission to share the following story:

I had a mom recently whose daughter was really excited and motivated to try out for the school play. The mom was concerned because her daughter didn’t have play experience before and the kids in the class could be particularly cruel. She wanted my advice about what to do. I suggested that if her daughter was excited and wanted to do it then she should let her. If she made the play it was a great learning experience. If she didn’t make the play it was a great learning experience.

Even though we want to, we can’t protect our kids from everything. We can guide them and help pick them up when they fall down. I think it’s important for girls to know that even when things don’t work out the way they hoped, they can learn and grow from experiences. Capable kids have the ability to trust themselves, which starts with their parents trusting them too.

Last Tuesday, I shared on Snapchat a day in life! Like I always say to my students, you are only seeing what people WANT to show you on social media, so I decided to be honest and write down all the things that it didn’t show on my blog today!

The book I show in the first and last part of the video, I’m reading for grad school. It is huge and I have roughly a million others just like it to read in one month. No idea how I’m going to do it……

When I work on ivivva stuff with my friend Lex, we totally get off topic one million times. Lex always has great ideas!

I’m obsessed with my mentor’s dog. He curls up on my lap during out chats and makes me feel like life can be easy.

Not pictured: how much I drove during the day. I literally was all over creation. Luckily, I listen to good music. It’s pretty much a solo karaoke session.

I had a bunch of privates in one area with middle school to high school seniors. Was super fun.

I saw my best friend who lives in California and we had a great time together, but I always feel a little heartache when she leaves me because I wish she lived closer.

I started to get super tired by the end of the day. I literally ran around like a crazy person.

I totally relate to being nervous about speaking in school! I worried about what other people thought and if I was going to sound stupid. Being in my own head really took me out of the moment. It’s hard to focus on learning when you’re terrified of being called on! Check out today’s video for an idea that really helped me.

Everyone at some point has felt pressure to be cool. Whether it’s playing a certain sport, being in a certain group of friends, or going to a specific party, we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Check out today’s video for some relief when it comes to the stress of being cool.

Today, I’m sharing what an awesome yoga teacher told my class that totally changed the way I looked at emotional stress. Sometimes we judge our feelings (like we SHOULD be something or SHOULDN’T feel a certain way) when it’s possible to have many feelings at once. Check out today’s video to hear what changed my perspective!

My zen looks like dance parties. It’s talking with friends, spending time with my family, and being of service. It’s traveling, eating, and trying new things. Sometimes my zen involves tears. It’s meditative and self-explorative. It’s being energetic and calm. My zen is when I have enough self-love to not judge all the different situations and emotions that come up in my life.

This is a HARD question. It’s easy to get mad at our parents when they won’t let you do what you’d like (for me, we always fought over concerts)! Check out my video for insights when your mom won’t let you have Instagram.