Text

9 Less Controversial PSAs

By Hallie Cantor

Don’t be embarrassed to talk to your kids about the dangers of chainsaw fights.
(young children play-fighting with enormous chainsaws, while an uncomfortable adult looks on in the background)
Do it today.
Open your eyes, world.
(bunch of hot actresses)
Actresses are beautiful too.
10 out of 10 people know someone who’s gotten wet in the rain.
(person walking without an umbrella in the rain)
Rain is real. And it can get you really wet.
Be a hero.
(guy using a tissue instead of sneezing directly on a homeless woman)
Don’t sneeze on the homeless.
Let chinless people marry.
(loving couple with not-particularly-pronounced chins)
We’re people too.
Just because he can reach the mirror, doesn’t mean he’s ready.
(baby getting ready to snort coke off a mirror)
Don’t let your baby do cocaine. Even if he wants to.
Are you pouring on the pounds?
(like this http://www.the9billion.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/pouring-on-the-pounds-ad.gif but into a container w/ a biohazard symbol instead of soda cups)
Every ounce of human fat you drink adds an ounce of fat to your body. Don’t drink human fat.
Would you let YOUR puppy smoke cigarettes?
(giant picture of a puppy smoking a cigarette)
Then don’t buy them for other pups.
PSAs are serious, even if they get drawn on.
(solemn spokesperson’s face, with a mustache and devil horns and dick drawn on it)
ESPECIALLY WHEN WE USE ALL CAPS.