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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Thirty Days

Dealing with bio families can be quite complicated sometimes. I've been lucky overall I guess. I haven't had too many issues. (Unless of course you count this whole investigation that happened because I reported a bio mom.)

Dude and Dolly's bio mom dropped off the radar almost immediately after the kids came in to care. She didn't come to visits. Then, when CPS took to reminding her more and basically holding her hand through the process, bio mom did manage to get to a couple. However, back in November, bio mom violated parole and was arrested. Dude and Dolly haven't seen her since.

They did still see Great Grandma occasionally though. From what I've been able to piece together, Great Gma took care of these cherubs when their bio mom frequently couldn't. However, she has said she's too old to take the children on permanently. (In fact, I believe it was when Great Gma put the hammer down on bio mom and enacted a little bit of tough love that the children came in to Care.) I've stayed in touch with Great Gma a bit. She calls me to check on the kids periodically. To me, she acts like a grandma "should". She wants to see the children and spend time with them and she checks on them in between the sporadic visits that CPS allows her. (Sooooooo unlike the paternal grandma that is still slated to take custody of the cherubs.)

When the shit hit the fan I seriously thought about calling Great Gma. But in reality, how do you explain what happened in a positive light?! I didn't want to worry her unnecessarily...especially since CPS doesn't value the relationship these cherubs have with her. I hoped that things would end quickly and I could just tell her what happened in person the next time I saw her.

I avoided a call from Great Gma on Tuesday.

When she called back Wednesday I decided to bite the bullet. As difficult as it was, I told her what was going on. Nothing like telling a woman that part of her family has been moved in The System again and that I've been accused of abusing them. It wasn't an easy conversation.

She expressed deep concern for me and the children. She's no newbie to foster care so she sounded as defeated as I feel. She said she wants to find the children and talk to them and "see what they really said". (She seemed as confused by the whole thing as I am. But...she's just taking my word that I don't hurt those children.) As she hung up she said, "I still love you. God bless you."

This investigation started on June 12. It's been thirty days. I'm praying this is over soon!