Anyone else have a parent who gets so "into it" when ill or injured?

Maybe this is more of a need for someone to commiserate than a true question. My dad has been sick with abdominal pain. Because he'd had an intestinal blockage years ago, he convinced himself this was the cause of the pain and he needed to go to the hospital and see a surgeon. I insisted we'd started with primary care doc, who quickly saw this as a bout of diverticulitis, a problem he's had off and on for many years. My dad seems disappointed. Next, he insists on walking to the mailbox and falls. From the ground he calls paramedics to come pick him up though the neighbors saw it happen and were right there ready to help. He told them not to help, he'd rather have paramedics. Then he called me to take him to the hospital. Paramedics picked him up and thankfully saw that nothing was broken and he was able to walk and talk fine. He wanted a hospital. Hospitals here are awful for long waits at the ER, and I've been done this road enough to hate them unless really necessary. I made him go to urgent care clinic where a doc looked at him, xrayed, and declared nothing was wrong. Again, he seemed disappointed. By yesterday he was wearing his collection of hospital socks (those grippy ones) and using a walker (he normally uses a cane) and complaining of being dizzy from pain meds (no doc has given him pain meds, he's squirreled some away from the past and is using them) I completely get it that he's uncomfortable with diverticulitis and sore from falling but we also see that every time something medical happens he gets soooo into it, like he thrives on it. We surround him with care and attention but he loves sickness. He gets on the phone and calls everyone he can think of and tells every detail, thinks of excuses to see more docs, asks what else I think he needs over and over. There's a loneliness factor at play I'm sure. Anyone else experience a parent enjoying sickness or injury? Do you play along or ignore?

Answers

I've read that with most meds like Cymbalta you can gain or lose weight. My cousin did great on it. She actually lost weight, but she has dementia, so, I'm not sure if that is the cause or not. I also actually know quite a few people who take or have taken Cymbalta and had great success. They say it helped them a lot. And it does great for my cousin.

If no med for depression or anxiety is tolerable, I'd ask the doctor for other suggestions like talk therapy.

Ugg, cymbalta is the worst - for me at least. I've got moderate to sevear chronic pain issues due to three failed back surgeries, related nerve damage, scar tissue related damage issues, neuropathy etc. I've probably tried every antidepressant ever made along with a vast variety of pain meds. Eventually my dr prescribed cymbalta - which for some reason was a big deal for my health plan to cover - got several letters indicating it was special that they were allowing this drug. BTW - if anyone has an idea why it was so special, I love to know. Anyhoo - I figured since this drug was suspose to treat pain and depression it would do wonders for me - even though I wasn't all that depressed. I should say, I wasn't all that depressed until I discovered I had put on ten pounds in two weeks on cymbalta! So no, thank you anyhow - if I wasn't depressed before, I imagine blowing up to the size of the Goodyear Blimp in a month - at the rate I was gaining - I certainly would be really depressed really soon.

Amy, if you have any DVDs of ballets, watch them. Or listen to any of Beethoven's 9th Symphonies. Or thumb through a gardening magazine if you're a gardener, and if you can afford it, buy some always beautiful red geraniums and put them up in containers.

Then squeeze some fresh lemons, and if you have a chair on your front porch, sit in it and watch the world go by.

Better than meds (especially if you have a DVD of Nureyev or Baryshnikov).

Been to a cardiologist, stress test - all good. BP low - 110/60 . Doctor has tried me on several antidepressants, which make me feel horrible - really sick (Lexapro & Cymbalta & Zoloft) I don't do well on medications, allergic to many antibiotics, also bad reflux from antivirals. I'm lucky I get very few infections!

It's so ironic that one of my family members takes all kinds of medications. She constantly complains of pain in her ear, pain in her knee, funny looking vein, nausea, hot scalp, feels funny, sick, etc. It's endless. It's odd that the only med she claims that she can't tolerate is one for anxiety/depression/pain! That one makes her feel funny. lol My theory is that her brain is aware that taking that pill will make her feel better and her brain doesn't want her to feel better, because that's what she is so used to. It's so frustrating.

AmyGrace, I know what you mean. I have dealt with the issue for so long with a couple of my family members, that now when I have a physical ailment, the first thing that I think of is, "Is this symptom psychologically induced?" I have a series of questions that I asked myself. I really don't want to go down that road.

I recall that years ago, I suffered from a panic attack and rushed to the ER. They checked everything and found nothing. I followed up with my primary, had a cardiac consult, just to be sure it was not heart related and ACCEPTED my panic attack diagnosis. I was then able to deal with it, get treated and it soon went away. Thank goodness.

I think that if someone refuses to accept the diagnosis, but keeps the belief that they really are sick in the back of their mind, it helps perpetuate the cycle.

But, I wouldn't fool around with chest pain. I'd see a cardiologist, get checked out and rule out any cardiac issues. AND then ask the cardiologist for advice. And if you fee crummy a lot, ask the doctor about meds.

Lordy, it sounds like me lately. Having all these health issues (trips to urgent care for chest and back pains - only to find out its another attack of GERD but they have to do CAT scan, etc "just to be sure") I swear next time I have a bad case of chest pain I'm going to let myself die rather than go back again! Dizzyness and head throbbing - can't find a thing wrong with me. Then they find elevated ANA - referred to rheumatologist telling me I might have lupus - resulting in lots more blood tests - all normal! I'm ready to commit myself. I hate going to doctors and it makes me feel like a hypochondriac. I'm too young to feel crappy. I don't want to feel this way. Yuk! Too many years of stress with Mom (who had NO health problems up until age 100) and I've got it all (so does my sister) - GERD, arthritis, BPV, and gyn issues. Why me?

Oh I did get a breather from taking my Mom [and Dad] to the doctors all the time... it happened when I broke my right shoulder, I was unable to turn the ignition key nor could I put the vehicle into gear, and I couldn't do it left handed. I was out of commission for at least 6 months as my arm muscles frozen and it took months of physical therapy. And my Mom survived not going to the doctor.

I don't recommend the broken shoulder route, as it was terrible, but I noticed whenever I wore my sling, I didn't get asked to drive them anywhere, so I would wear that sling for as long as I could around my parents whether I needed it or not :P

For me the ER visits were the worst. Hour upon hour sitting in that small, curtain draped cubicle while it feels like nothing is happening. Mom is dosing in the bed - I'm sitting in the one, hard chair - waiting... You look out the curtain and see nurses and docs chatting. I'm sure they must be doing something worth while but it sure doesn't feel like it at the time! I have a theory that they make a trip to the ER as miserable as possible just to keep people from making frivolous visits. I know I'd have to be pretty freakin' sick to go there for myself but sadly my mother didn't look at it the same way.

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