Can't call it quits with the ex-boyfriend? Many women find it hard to move on, but if you are clinging to the past, you are preventing a new start and clear future from happening. What may have been an okay relationship can become distorted by selective memories and fantasies. This unrealistic view can elevate your ex-boyfriend to an ideal that’s impossible for anyone to live up to. It is possible that you aren’t sure if you have gotten over the break up or not, so read on. If you are guilty of any of the signs below, you are not over your ex-boyfriend.

*You still have ex boyfriend pictures all over the house.

*You call his number and hang up just as he answers.

*You are trying to maintain a “just friends” relationship.

*You enter “get my ex-boyfriend back” in Internet search engines.

*You find out he’s dating again and feel like he’s cheating on you.

*No other man is good enough for you.

*You know he’ll come to his senses and come back to you.

How to get over your Ex-Boyfriend

Before moving on, allow yourself to mourn the loss of your relationship. Not only have you lost a friend and companion, but you’ve also lost the hopes and dreams for a future together. If you were heading toward marriage and starting a family together, you’ll have shattered dreams to deal with as well. Give yourself permission to grieve your loss.

While it’s tempting to glorify the relationship and remember only the good things about it and all the wonderful traits your ex-boyfriend had, remember the bad times as well. No relationship or person is perfect so don’t build this one into something it wasn’t. It’s impossible for someone new to compete with perfection.

If your ex-boyfriend dumped you, you are also dealing with rejection and being rejected stings. It’s hard to come to terms with rejection and many women get hung up on winning their exes back in an attempt to prove to themselves that they are worthy. Remember, it’s not about your worthiness. You are probably a wonderful woman who deserves someone that is a better match. Treat yourself to a few indulgences and do activities that you love. Being single can be a time for you to discover yourself. Learn to love yourself and you’ll soon find that you don’t need a boyfriend to define who you are. Boyfriends come and go, but you’ll always be you. Cultivate your interests and embrace this time. Follow these tips for more help and support while getting over your break up.

*Create a Ritual for Closure and Say Goodbye

When a loved one dies, funerals give mourners an official way to say goodbye. Breaking up with a boyfriend leaves you with an empty void with no end in sight. Instead, after a few days of mourning, gather up all of your old love letters, mementos, and photos and send them off. Some women make a ritual out of burning love letters and photos in the fireplace. Let go of your relationship souvenirs and come to peace with the situation.

*Forget Friendship

If you are trying to remain “friends,” forget it. You can never be friends. He will always be your ex- boyfriend and seeing each other under the pretense of friendship will only prolong the agony. Stop trying. No more casual get-togethers. If you bump into him elsewhere, fine. You can say “hi” and be cordial, but keep moving.

*Stay Busy

Sitting around the house wallowing over the loss will only amplify your feelings for your ex boyfriend. Dating others may be difficult early on but as time goes by, it is easier. You don’t have to jump back into the dating game either. Hanging out with girlfriends and family members will help. Getting involved in activities that you enjoy also lightens your mood and surrounds you with people who share your interests.

*Redecorate Your Home

Clear all those ex-boyfriend pictures from the mantle and replace them with fabulous new candles or pottery. Find something stunning that will make you smile when you look at it instead of staring into those dreamy eyes of his and wishing for the old days. Get a new set of bedding with luxurious sheets and big fluffy pillows. This is your time. You deserve to be pampered. Burrow into your new bed each night and enjoy the luxury of sleeping alone.

*Heal Yourself with Happiness

When letting go, it’s important to let go of the anger as well as the sadness. If you’re angry at yourself for not being able to make the relationship work, let it go and learn from your mistakes. If you’re angry at your ex-boyfriend for his part, it’s time to let it go. If he was a jerk and blew it by cheating on you, consider the break up a big favor. It’s okay to be angry, but don’t let the anger stick around. Put it in the past and move on with your new, happy life. Ongoing anger, bitterness, and resentment will slow your recovery and keep you in a nasty mood. Let it go. He’s a jerk. Everyone knows it. Now move on.

*Enjoy Being Alone

Are afraid of being alone? Many women stay in poor relationships because they are simply afraid of being on their own. There’s nothing wrong with being alone and it doesn’t necessarily mean you will be lonely. This is a terrific time to do what you want for a change. You can watch chick flicks, listen to your favorite CDs or go horseback riding without having to compromise or listen to anyone belittling your tastes.

*Move Slow with Other Men

Take it slow when entering a new relationship. Many women say that they want to get over their ex- boyfriend before dating but then wind up with the first available man they can find. This rebound relationship is almost always doomed because the woman hasn’t gotten over the ex-boyfriend yet. Give yourself time to get over the ex, mourn the loss of the relationship and discover yourself before considering a new relationship.

Make sure you’re not trying to patch up the pain through substitution. When you are ready and open to the possibilities of finding love and romance with someone new, move slowly and let the relationship blossom on its own. Remember the lessons you’ve learned along the way and don’t settle for a relationship simply to keep busy or ease your loneliness. Because you took the time to thoroughly get over your ex and re-discover yourself, you should have the self-confidence to recognize a bad relationship when you see one and stop it from progressing. Likewise, you’ll know when the relationship is a good one and worth working on.

If you find yourself depressed or suicidal due to a break up or obsession over an ex boyfriend, get professional help. No man is worth living in depression or killing yourself over. Call a suicide hotline, mental health professional or your doctor immediately and get your life back on track.

Getting over an ex-boyfriend sooner rather than later is important. Give yourself time to mourn the loss and get closure through a ritual of removing all traces of him from your home. Start to discover who you are and how much fun you can have on your own. Don’t rush into a new relationship and when you do, take it slow. Learn from past mistakes and use your newly discovered self-confidence to cultivate better relationships in the future.

Are You Over Your Ex?

It's been months since you and your ex parted ways, and you've been navigating the road to recovery ever since. Has that road been surprisingly smooth or unbearably bumpy? Find out if you're really ready to move on to new adventures in love and life or if you're still hung up on your ex with this quiz.