Japanese woman attempts to grow her breasts by massaging them with fresh summer veg

Forget ‘I must I must improve my bust’, because apparently the secret to larger breasts is rubbing them with fresh summer vegetables.

In her endless and, frankly, relentless quest to achieve a fuller bust, a petite Japanese lady called Ryoko has released a video where she harvests summer veg and then rubs it onto her breasts (which, strangely, is not nearly as erotic as it sounds).

This is the 28th video – yep – in a series which has also seen her attach her nipple to a hoover in an effort to make the most of what she’s been given. As you do.

This was method no. 21 (Picture: YouTube)

Her latest method sees her dressed demurely in her favourite pink polo-neck and straw boater as she plucks an aubergine and then a juicy tomato from an imaginary plant and then rubs one on each breast. And it’s all set to a soothing, yet slightly mournful, soundtrack.

We may have sped this up slightly (Picture: YouTube)

As the music plays, Ryoko tells us, according to translators at Rocket News, that ‘summer vegetables, which have grown under the influence of the summer sun, are thought to have very good properties for breast enhancement.’ Um, really?

Things take a somewhat disconcerting turn when she then takes a bite out of the aubergine (waste not want not we suppose) and the video then finishes on a cartoon woman touching her giant breasts.

We seriously doubt she’s found the surefire route to bigger breasts with this her 28th try, but maybe someone could have a go with what’s in their fridge and let us know below?