I just saw 28 Days on TV - that's "28 Days" not "28 Days Later." I am talking about a sappy, weepy Sandra Bullock movie about some dumb c**t in a drug rehab program. It was as awful as it was predictable. Did anyone doubt the Bad Girl (Bullock) was going to Go Good in the end? Was it really necessary to make the counselor a black woman so we'd feel guilty about hating her guts? You figure it out.

What's really sad is the reason I watched this thing. Okay, go ahead and laugh: I thought it was connected to "28 Days Later." Like, I thought "28 Days" was, like, the first one and "Later" was the sequel. So I watched the damned thing. Then it was so bad, it was like heroin: I was fascinated and couldn't stop. Also like narcotics, it left me in pain when it was over. I have since recovered.

I know Andrew doesn't want us to ask him to review movies, and I'm not going to. What's the point? This thing is like surgery without anesthetic. They say drug treatment can be excruciating, but watching Sandra Bullock get drug tratment is even more excruciating. I'll bet the makers of this dog take that as a compliment, but I don't mean it the way they'd think I do. Anyway, now you're warned