May I mambo dogface to the banana patch?

0 Comments

Posted by on January 19, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I have heard about it for years, but until last night I had never even seen the Steve Martin bit referenced in today’s post title. In the bit, Martin suggests people teach kids how to talk “wrong” at home so they might get to school and ask the teacher if they can go to the bathroom, only they would ask, innocently, “May I mambo dogface to the banana patch?” Funny, right? Yes, until you live it.

Last night after dinner, son Jake proudly read to me the cover of his maze book, “Your Book of Mazes – Animals.” (He’s an almost-reader so any words he can “read” are huge victories and I find the process extraordinarily painful.) At the end of the table, Jake’s sister protested because she couldn’t see the book cover. She asked him to “read” it again and show her which words were which. I sighed with relief, thinking, “Phew, at least she’ll read early.”

Not so fast. Jake leaned in and conspiratorially whispered, “Let’s show her the wrong words.” Then before I could stop him, he pointed to the book’s author’s names and the publisher, telling her it said My Book of Mazes. The poor girl (now definitely not destined to be my early reader) followed along as he “taught” her to read.

Looking to the positive, she was as proud of herself as he had been a minute earlier when he was “reading.” And fortunately, the “lesson” was brief and in English. And there was no reference to dogface or banana patch, because I can’t hear banana patch and not laugh (maybe a male Speedo swimsuit reference, I’m not sure). But still, Jake will not be doing much reading to his sister for a little while. I decided he has either seen the skit (doubtful for a 5-year old, even one in public kindergarten), is wildly clever or just plain mean. I’m pulling for the middle option.