Expensive Corkscrew Is Very Unimpressive

The Sveid corkscrew "is made out of aviation-grade titanium and features an 18-carat gold finger-hold. It's a dual action opener, with a wind-around motion to remove the cork's covering and then your standard drill-down, pull-up movement to snag the cork free." Nothing special here minus some titanium and gold. What will the bastard set you back you ask? Try $70,000! Holy shit, you say? Holy shit, I reply. If you have the money and are thinking about getting one please fire me off an email with your home address so I can come rob you blind. You deserve it.