Westword’s Marijuana Critic Applicants: A Sampling

Last week, Speakeasy talked to Patricia Calhoun, editor of the Denver Westword, about her paper’s search for a pot critic to review the growing number of medical marijuana dispensaries popping up all over Colorado. The paper asked interested candidates to submit an essay on the subject of what marijuana means to them. When we spoke to Calhoun the applications were already pouring in (“I know that within five minutes of the posting, we already had an application — which is very fast turnaround for a stoner,” she joked).

Westword has yet to name the writer who will assume perhaps the most amusing beat in journalism, but Calhoun posted an entertaining sampling of responses to the essay question.

From one aspiring critic: As a ‘burner’ of more than 14 years, I have spent many an hour pondering the importance of herb in my life…among other things…”

This from a former heroin addict turned stay-at-home dad whose Haiku-esque writing style and eccentric relationship with punctuation is already evident: “marijuana. what it means to me has changed over the years. smoking scwagg when i was 14 just because it was ‘cool’. finding kind bud when i was 17. and then. graduating high school, getting a job, and also graduating to narcotics.”

Another applicant reminisced about getting in trouble at home for eating all the Oreos when he was high with the munchies in high school, called smoking pot “high grade amusement all the way!” and went so far as to quote Apple CEO Steve Jobs as to why he should be hired: “The business is booming in Colorado and I’m looking to get more active in the industry and make a career change to get more involved. As Steve Jobs said it best, ‘You’ve got to find what you love.’”