Last week at church I re-met Bethany. She went by Beth in September when she first came to church. She was new to UBC and checking out churches. Turns out she spent most of the year at one of the churches on campus. Now she’s back here. Had some awkward relationship/friendship weirdness at that church. Some catty chicks. Been there, felt that.

So we caught up a bit after church last week and set a time to go out to see Alice in Wonderland tonight.

Ok, so it’s a crush and that’s ok. When we met at the theatre with like 20 minutes to spare, tix were sold out so we went for a beer. Which in reality was a pitcher of sangria. And we talked for a while and figured on trying again next week for the movie.

So we were heading back to the train to head home, rode the train and at my stop she got off too cuz we were in the middle of a discussion about Johnny Depp. A luscious conversation.

And after a few minutes I was about to go and I gave her a hug.

Hugging is good. Always. I hate shaking hands. Lame. 🙂

And the hug was the kind of hug after the kind of evening where I wanted to turn it into a groping hug and bum squeezing hug and pelvis bumping hug and an invitation to come back to my place so we could play around.

And after all these months and tonight and everything I was not sure she would go for that. And now that I’m all mature and wise and not young and stupid [always, anyway] I just hugged her with the love of a friend and I injected no sexual overtures into it.

I just held her. For the normal length of a hug. And when I was loosening up at the end of the normal length, she wasn’t letting go, so i re-held on. Just hugging in a motionless holding.

And she just got warmer. Not emotionally [though she was], like physically. Keeping the hold on, waiting for me to do something other than just hold her. And the warmer was the rising tension of something not yet happening.

And if it all ended there, that would have been just fine. A warm, tender, loving friend hug. Felt good.

But she pulled out and smiled at me and kissed my cheek. Spectacular. I felt so loved and desired and hot and wanted and affirmed and and and and…

So I smiled big and putting one hand on her cheek I kissed her other cheek. And while my other hand could quite easily have done nothing, I nevertheless put it on her hip. But mostly back around her hip. Not quite on her ass, not quite on her thigh, but behind her hip enough so I could pull it about an inch closer to me.

And we said goodnight and I left. And heading up the escalator I looked back and she was standing there looking forward to where the train would take her closer to her home. And with her right hand she brushed her hair back from in front of her left shoulder to behind her shoulder, then she slid her hand from her shoulder down along her breast and crossed her arms.

And that, that, that is the thing I want to do to her the next time I see her.

Maybe we can agree to wear skirts to Alice when we actually go to see it. 🙂

my gf tina is a doll. her little sis is a dollface. she’s also a sentimental, kittens are proof that god loves us, kinda girl. not naive, but open-hearted.

i don’t mock the stuff she emails. tho sometimes i do reply with some good-humoured snark.

but this week she’s been sending this stuff about survivor stories from China’s earthquake last week.

and they’re killing me. so i share the three most amazing with you. no sex. no tips. no christian girls [as far as i know].

i hope these kill you too. in the good way.

1. a baby is found alive beside its mother who died. in the blanket with the baby is a cel phone. on it is a text message saying to tell my baby that i love her.

2. a man with about 2% vision is rescued after a couple days. massive injuries, head bonk. wakes up and can’t see but has almost 20% sight. whether it will last, they don’t know. he’s ecstatic to be alive, but his ability to see light better continually moves him to tears.

3. a still breast-feeding woman survives the earthquake, but her baby doesn’t. but with all the orphans, she is nursing 6 of them.

when it gets to a point in life where i cannot imagine how i would feel/cope in a situation because it is too profoundly unimaginable. i fall speechless. when i’m not crying.