light readings

I am allowed to be in a rant right? Nobody ever said that was not allowed. After all this is my blog, and I think I can freely express myself as I please to do. So… where have I been in my own life? Well there are my days where I stop and think “Marz, what in the hell are you doing with yourself?” And the sad part is, I can not answer to that properly because truthfully I do not even know. What human actually enjoys being put through endless loops and routines?

I don’t like to think that I am selfish or anything, but I just feel like it is time that I deserve something, after everything… no that is horrible of me to say. I think I just deserve some respect and each time I feel like I lose more and more dignity in myself. There is a battle that I seek, a fight. You know, someone to fight for you and have that fear. Cliche? And as this dreaded hallmark holiday draws closer, I cannot help to feel even more un-wanted. I lied, I cannot say that I am not wanted, because I am, although not for the reasons that I wish to be. The want that I seek, well *sigh*…

I can’t, anyways should I just continue ranting about my lack of trust in people, the lonesome feelings, wah wah wah, who called in the WAHmbulence….

Pathetic, I am a pathetic teenage human.

I always like to keep in mind though:

That I am special, and someone grand deserves me… someone with so much love in themselves is going to find me and share that with me. And they will be afraid to lose me, and they will protect and care, and I shall do the same in return.

Oh what a cliche,

anyways.

Who will be my valentines this year? I suppose I can share that after.