Random update about random stuff

I don’t post about my random in-game stuff very often but despite my ever growing “to blog” list, I just feel like chatting.

I got a netbook for Christmas! Now I don’t have to alt tab out of game all the time. And if my gaming computer gets sick again, I won’t end up computerless.

Occupying my playtime

The problem with new expansions is that there’s so much that needs to be done. I’ve got my main professions maxed out, cooking and fishing are getting there. With the exception of my chestpiece, my gear is all 346 and higher. I’ve done most of the heroics a countless times (I think there’s still Grim Batol I haven’t done). I’ve gotten a 10 man kill (Conclave of Wind – I did a write up on it for Matticus but he hasn’t posted it yet) and a 25 man kill (Halfus). I’ll admit that I’m a little annoyed at how ridiculously easier 10 man content is, yet the kills are worth the same. Maybe they only seem easier because getting 10 excellent players together is far more likely than getting 25 excellent players together. Still, it’s really hard to take 10 man raiding seriously.

The first two weeks of Cataclysm were really stressful. We had quite a few new holy paladins join the guild. Skillwise, we were all comparable, but they were online a good 16 hours a day while I was juggling finals and pre-graduation events, so I was pretty nervous about falling behind. Thankfully, we mostly skipped the 10 man part of progression and jumped right into 25 where there was plenty of room for me.

Guild Stuff

It’s been interesting watching the guild react to Cataclysm. Most people, like me, were worried about being left behind (although no one was as neurotic about it as I was) and things got a little tense at times.

We had a large influx of members, mostly for our new pvp division but also quite a few raiders. It’s been weird, logging into game and not recognizing most of the people on. Or having strangers randomly jump into personal conversations on vent. It’s one of those inevitable traits of human nature, we’re all a little xenophobic deep down inside. Tensions exploded between some raiders and PvPers the other day (I wasn’t there for it, I live too far east to witness all the drunken action), but the consequences seem to be minimal. If anything, it may have a positive effect since it’s a sign our PvP team is looking to mingle with the rest of the guild.

One thing I’ve noticed- and I’m not sure if it’s just because we’re all online a lot more or whether it’s a rebellious reaction to the huge influx of new members, but our guild chat has really gone downhill. Like really downhill. Just about every line of green text contains “fag”, “suck my dick” or “rape”. As far as I know, no one else sees it, so I’ve been tuning it out (if the main officer core and those involved by those terms aren’t bothered, then I don’t really have a place to say much), but I can’t help but wonder if it’ll hold us back on a progression. I mean, it doesn’t exaclty give a very professional first impression to new recruits. Hopefully it’ll clear up on its own once both our divisions start their official activies and have something else than each other to focus on.

Other Stuff

Matt recently scored us a guild sponsership via Enjin and I’ve been helping with setting up our website on their…whatever you call it (*is net n00b*). I committed to keeping the website uptodate (something that was really missing in the past) and I had taken over the bank inventory (and as those of you know me know- when I do logistics stuff, I go all out).

Then, yesterday, it dawned on me that I was putting in about as much work and commitment into the guild as any officer. So I requested a promotion.

I actually had to put up a pretty big fight to get the promotion. It wasn’t pleasant and I’m still pretty angry over some of the words that were exchanged, but in the end I got what I asked for. I didn’t get any satisfaction from it. Having to actually convince someone that my work and involvement is worth the same as someone elses work and involvement and that I deserve the same official rank, authority and say in guild matters as those doing work comparable to mine has a bitter aftertaste but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. (EDIT: After reflection, I realized exactly how much of a ungrateful, spoiled brat I sound like. Keep in mind that I’m venting some situational frustration and that 99.9% of the time, I’m really happy.)

I enjoy the work and time investments I put into the guild: I care a lot about the guild and I don’t like the way (or lackthereof) others handle logistics stuff. But… But I guess it’s kind of like when you’re dating someone and things get really scarily serious (inspiration just hit as a friend of mine was messaging me about her relationship problems.) Eventually you reach a point where you feel that you need to either get married (or make some sort of equivalent higher commitment if you’re the type who doesn’t believe marriage) or leave.

10 Comments on “Random update about random stuff”

Oh its really not usually like that. And that’s what worries me. Normally we’re a tight knit group and while guild chat isn’t classy, it respects certain limits. But all these new people coming in, all they see is stupidity right now and I think we’re going to have a tough time getting quality recruits to stick around.

At the same time, no one else seems to notice, so I wonder if its all my head.

Yeah, I’m still very furious about that, which is how I slipped and broke my rule of not writing about unresolved issues. However the line in the post gave the wrong idea. It’s not like they sat me down and said “we don’t want girls”! Had that happened, I obviously would have gquit. Someone made an honest mistake, hit a nerve and I was genuinely hurt.

I deleted that line in the post shortly after I wrote it but apparently I was too slow. Maybe I’ll write about it in the future when the issue is resolved. Or maybe I can convince the person in question to guest post about how apparently innocent comments can have a lot of loaded meaning when used in the wrong context ;) (I honestly do feel bad about having slipped and written about it in my blog before talking to the person in question, they should hear about these things directly from me and not from my blog.)

Rest assured that I’ve been in the guild for a year and my gender has never interfered with getting raid spots, with being accepted into the general group, getting loot or anything else. I’ve got a lot of character and never would have stuck around a misogynist atmosphere.

A bit of a tangent on your post but this part…”Or having strangers randomly jump into personal conversations on vent.”

I don’t talk on Vent much anyway, but this is mostly what I’m afraid of when I log on. Sure, I could sit in the lobby all day, but I see the speaker icons light up when people are talking & I don’t want to accidentally jump in on something I’m not privy to.

That scared me for the longest time too! Early on, I even used to wait until someone would message me or manually pull me into a channel.

I certainly don’t blame those who jump into conversations- I mean, how else are they supposed to get to know us? It’s just a big adjustment because there are so many new people in such a short period of time.

A couple of people came up with the good idea of having channels flagged “private” for when people want to talk without being intruded on. They’re not used very often, but it’s nice to know that if we want to have some privacy, the option is there.

The part about it that’s relevant here is that you can have a group that’s in the “steady” stage (norming), but any time you add people to the group – (one person or more, it doesn’t matter) It resets the group to the “storming” stage, where everyone is jockeying for position and things can get a bit chaotic. The riotous guild chat you’ve described sounds like a bit of posturing to me. If I’m reading your post correctly, it sounds like long-time members who didn’t used to talk this way, and you’re worried about what the new members will think? The fact that this is a new thing seems to suggest that it will settle down eventually. Maybe a word from leadership about respectful expectations will a) suggest folks tone it down a notch, and b) make it clear that this isn’t really ‘the norm’?

I also had to campaign for a promotion to officer, not because I wanted it so badly but because I was doing the job already. Sounds like you were, too! The important thing is that you’re willing to ask for something that’s really the ‘right’ thing. It’s not always an easy thing to do!

I didn’t even think of group development theory, but I think you’re right. I did suspect that there was some sort of subconscious reaction but it never occurred to me how perfectly it fits typical group development. It is long term members. They always did talk that way a little bit, but never to this extent and not really in guild chat.

Last night was a lot better so I think the negative leaders (you know you work with kids with the term “negative leader” is part of your everyday vocabulary) were reprimanded. Our guild strikes a compromise where you can say what you want in vent/mumble outside of raids (people with incompatible personalities don’t sit in the same channels anyway) but guild chat should be kept tidy since everyone is forced to read it.

It is really tough to ask for officer position. There’s this common belief that officer positions should only ever be accepted reluctantly. Which is silly since someone who doesn’t want to be that deeply involved shouldn’t be forced into it. Lately I’ve felt guild leadership to be a lot like when I was really involved in school politics. The best student leaders were those who loved the work and felt really strongly about the cause. Those who did it because they felt obligated did poor jobs.

I got pretty involved in the guild shortly after I joined, taking initiatives wherever they were needed, but wasn’t interested in an officer position before because I wasn’t that emotionally invested in the work. I probably would have accepted if asked and it always hurt me that others who seemed less engaged were asked to be officers (especially after I found out why I was never asked… I was pretty livid, but the blog isn’t the right place for me to be twisting words, at least not until a long time after the dust settles), but it wasn’t something I was actively seeking.

Then over the past month or so, I’ve been doing guild stuff almost every day and I’ve been very protective of my tasks. Until it dawned on me that I needed to take the next level. I couldn’t go on doing this kind of guild work without making it official, but I didn’t want to give up what I was doing either.

The initial reaction I received when I asked was “but there’s not enough work to go around”

Which obviously triggered “APPARENTLY THERE IS BECAUSE I’M DOING IT”

I guess it is hard to see exactly how invested someone is (I have no idea what most of the other officers do, not because their work isn’t valuable, but because it’s done quietly behind the scenes). But after all the times I’ve scrambled when getting emails from Matt saying “hey can you do XYZ for me? I need it yesterday” or the times when someone’s complained on the forums that “someone should do/plan XYZ but I don’t feel like it” so I spoke up and took the initiative… I dunno, my cheek is still tingling from the slap in the face.

As you can see, the emotions are still kind of raw ;) But I did manage to get the promotion. There was pretty much no reaction from anyone once the matter was settled so I just kind of jumped into the action.

Hello. I really enjoy your blog and in fact it’s one of the reasons I applied to your guild. I thought I would comment on some of your random thoughts regarding the guild here at the beginning of the expansion.

“Most people, like me, were worried about being left behind”

This is definitely something that stressed me out. And still does. Due to unexpected events outside of game, I haven’t been on as much as I had planned. I’m just now geared enough for heroics and it’s been tough to see the guild raiding already. I had an uphill battle anyway trying to break into this healing team so this has been discouraging.

“It’s been weird, logging into game and not recognizing most of the people on.”

When I login I don’t recognize anyone online. Of course this is part of joining a new guild and something I knew coming in. But I’m pretty quiet anyway and coming from a guild that only used vent for dungeons/raiding, it’s a pretty big adjustment. It’s tough to know when/or which channel to jump into. I always feel like I’m intruding (or the reason vent just went quiet) when I jump into a channel, and when I’m there people often call each other by RL names or alt toons so it’s doubly confusing. I realize this knowledge/comfort level does not just come over night, but it has been interesting here at the beginning of the expansion.

“guild chat has really gone downhill”

I have to admit I have not witnessed anything too offensive in gchat. I have not seen the examples you listed, but I’m central time and may not be on for some of the late night shenanigans. Of course I don’t know what it was like before the expansion. Personally, gchat is more aggressive than I’m used to but it certainly hasn’t scared me away.

Hope this didn’t sound like a list of complaints. I have really enjoyed the vast majority of my short time with the guild. Just thought you might like some musings from a guild noob and fellow neurotic.

Our guild culture is pretty unique. It’s a bit of an acquired taste, I think. I remember when I joined, coming from an older, casual guild and being completely shocked during my first raid! It’s grown on me, though, and most of the time it feels like home. I like that I can just be myself, quiet person that I am, and no one minds.

Hit me up sometime in game if you want to chat. Or if you see me idling alone in a channel on Mumble, feel free to drop in. Usually when I’m hanging out by myself, it’s when I’m up for talking, but don’t feel like listening to a big group.