Author's infos

Sascha was the most striking girl in class -- after all, she was the only white girl in the entire school. It helped that she was incredible looking, with an elfin face and eyes that made you want terrible things to happen.
She was as thin as a Japanese girl, and they'd been surprised that foreigners could have breasts as small as theirs, but Sascha insisted smaller breasts were better, and hers were beautifully formed.
When Sascha invited her to spend the night, Mika was honored. At sixteen, she looked younger than her age, with big eyes and a face that was boyish by pretty. Sascha had once told her she was the cutest girl in class, but Mika had not believed her.
When they got to Sascha's room, Sascha quickly took off her skirt and blouse. Mika was a bit scandalized by the idea of sitting around in her panties and a camisole, especially as neither one of them was wearing a bra, but a little good natured ribbing quickly convinced her to follow suit. Sascha's underwear was more adult than her own, and Mika was a little embarrased, but Sascha told her it was cute.
Sascha sat on the bed, her legs hanging over the edge. Not daring to sit next to her. Mika sat on the floor. They chatted for a while, and Mika gradually began to feel more at home. She laid back, looking up at Sascha. Sascha's eyes ran over Mika's body.
"You're got a beautiful figure," the foreign girl said.
Mika blushed, averting her eyes to cover her embarrassment. Secretly proud to be admired. Then something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Something under the bed.
She turned her head for a better look and went stiff. Under the bed...was a man. With an axe. Sascha's feet were placed directly between the man's face and Mika's, so their eyes didn't meet -- the only thing that stopped Mika from screaming.
Who was he? What was he doing here? Was he planning on killing them when they fell asleep? Mika imagined the axe sinking into her body, ending her life. She had never imagined she would die this young.
She looked up at Sascha. There was a knowing smile on Sascha's face. She was watching Mika intently, lips slightly parted. Didn't she see the fear on Mika's face? Or had she taken it for embarrasment? Maybe it was better this way. If Sascha said something, the man under the bed would realize Mika had seen him, and come out swinging. Chop Sascha's legs right off, then scramble out and kill them both. Maybe rape them. Rape their dismembered corpses.
Mika surpressed another scream. She'd never had sex. She didn't want to have it after she was dead.
Or did Sascha know? That knowing look...it made you want terrible things to happen to you. Maybe she had arranged it so terrible things would happen to Mika. Other girls in school had vanished recently. All good looking ones. The teachers said they should be careful walking home alone, but what if Sascha had invited them over, in secret? Mika had not dared tell anyone, for fear they would be jealous.
No, she could not believe it. Sascha had been so nice.
She had to try and get her out of the room. If they sounded like they were coming back soon, the murderer might wait for them.
"What's for dinner?" she asked.
Sascha slid down off the bed, kneeling beside her.
She placed her hands on Mika's shoulders, as if pinning her to the ground.
"You are," she said.
Mika didn't know what she meant. As scared as she was, she simply couldn't process this new developement. She stared blankly up at her friend's sly features.
Sascha leaned slowly in, and kissed her on the lips.
Eh? Mika blinked. What was this?
"I've wanted to fuck you since I first met you," Sascha whispered. "I'm so happy you feel the same."
Wait, Sascha was a lesbian? When had Mika agreed to this? When she promised to sleep over? When she took off her skirt? When she blushed at the compliment?
Sascha's tongue was in her mouth, one hand squeezing Mika's tits, the other slipping under her back. This was really happening.
Did Mika want this? Was Sascha raping her, or had she secretly longed to fuck her exotic friend? Mika's sexual identity wasn't particularly clear to her, and it was true she had always admired the foreign girl's beauty.
Sascha's kisses felt so good that she was already kissing back, despite her mind being very not made up.
But wait, this was no time for confused lesbian experimentation! There was a man under the bed with an axe!
And he was watching them!
No, that part didn't matter.
She needed to delay this somehow...maybe she could use it.
"Wait," she said. "We should shower first. Maybe even together."
That would get them out of the room long enough to warn Sascha.
"Never," Sascha said. "I've waited too long. You smell great anyway. I have to eat you now!"
And sascha abruptly slid down her body, ripping her panties off. Mika felt the other girl's tongue probing her cunt, felt herself being tongue fucked by this beautiful girl, and she moaned aloud, forgetting herself.
Maybe she had wanted this. She certainly wanted it now.
But the man under the bed was watching them.
Maybe if Sascha caught a glimpse of him too?
"Can I do you too?" she whispered.
Maybe that was all she wanted. Maybe the plan was just an excuse.
As Sascha swung her legs around, Mika risked a glance towards the bed. Sascha's thigh was between her and the man's eyes, he wouldn't see her looking.
The man's huge cock was out, and he was rubbing it.
He must be breathing heavily. Couldn't Sascha hear him? Mika perked up her ears to see if she could, but Sascha's thighs clamped down on her as her tongue lapped at Sascha's cunt, and she couldn't hear anything.
Suddenly something hot and wet splattered across her side. The man had sprayed them both with semen!
Sascha grabbed a gob of it, and shoved it into Mika's cunt!
She did know about the man under the bed!
Mika tried to struggle, but Sascha had her pinned to the floor, her cunt pressed against Mika's face. Mika couldn't even see. Then she felt a second pair of hands running up her thighs.
Sascha's hand began toying with Mika's tits, while a new tongue probed her virgin cunt. The man under the bed? Was he about to rape her? Was she going to be raped by an axe murderer with her traitorous friend torturing her nipples?
Yes.
Sascha shifted back a little, her cunt lifting away from Mika's lips. The axe murderer's tongue slipped into Mika's mouth, then up into Sascha's cunt. Mika felt something probing at her cunt.
"No, please...don't..." she gasped.
Sascha giggled. "That just turns him on," she said.
Still blindfolded by the other girl's cunt, Mika could not even see the man preparing to rape her. It was even more terrifying this way. Was he leering at her pain? She could feel his hard cock forcing its way into her. A man with an axe was raping her, and she couldn't even see.
There was a sharp pain as he ripped through her hymen, and she screamed. Sascha came, rubbing her cunt on the helpless girl's face, her whole body shaking.
The man's cock began pounding into Mika, relentlessly tearing her body in two. How could anything this horrible be happening? What had she done to deserve this?
"Why?" she gasped.
"This is what little cunts like you were born for," Sascha whispered. "Sluts like us only live so we can be fucked, raped, beaten, and ruined."
"And the axe?"
"That's the best part of all. He's going to kill you! He's going to chop you into little pieces, like you deserve! Raped, snuffed, and raped again! It'll be so sexy. You're going to love it!"
Love it? How could that possibly be true? This was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. This massive cock pounding into her cunt brought only pain, blood dripping onto the floor from where he'd torn into her.
"There's nothing sexier than a little yellow bitch covered in her own blood."
Suddenly the pounding at Mika's cunt stopped. Sascha was knocked backwards; he'd punched her hard in the stomach, knocking her out of the way so he could jam his cock in Mika's face, and spray it with cum.
"Oh, yes, please, hit me again!" Sascha begged, stabbing herself roughly with her fingers.
Mika could see again, see the man looming over her, watch his muscles rippling as he pulled back his hand and smacked Sascha across her face -- an open handed slap, designed to hurt but not leave a mark.
Sascha fell over, gasping on the floor.
"Now hit her! Hit the little Jap bitch! Beat her to a fucking pulp! I want to see her scream some more!"
The axe murderer looked down at Mika, and a horrible smile spread across his lips.
"Clean her off first."
Sascha quickly began lapping the cum off Mika's face, while the murderer slapped Mika's tits, occasionally punching her in the stomach. When Sascha had her face clean enough, the man roughly shoved the white girl aside, and began slapping Mika in the face, over and over. Mika sobbed and cried and screamed, but he just hit her harder.
Finally he stopped, and got off her. Mika was too tired to try and escape. Her entire body hurt. She'd been raped and beaten, and ruined. Now she was probably going to be snuffed.
The man yanked the mattress and box springs off the bed, leaving just the frame. He and Sascha hoisted Mika's battered body into the frame, handcuffing her arms and legs to the posts so she was suspended in the air.
"Get the strap-on," the man said.
Sascha quickly produced a strap-on from a drawer, and began fucking Mika with it, pure lust on her face.
The man picked up the axe, leering down at Mika.
This is it, Mika thought. I'm going to die. Raped by a girl, my body cut to pieces by this man.
The man hefted the axe, waiting.
Waiting as Sascha played with Mika's clit, teasing her to pleasure. Before she knew it, Mika was moaning, enjoying the rape despite herself.
"Beg," Sascha said. "Beg me to fuck you harder."
"Fuck me harder!" Mika cried.
"Beg us to ruin you!"
"Ruin me!"
"Beg him to snuff you!"
"Please! Don't kill me!"
"No!" Sascha slapped her across the face. "Beg him to kill you!"
"I want to be fucked more! I deserve it! But I don't want to die! Not yet! I need to be ruined more!"
Sascha's hands wrapped around Mika's throat, throttling her. "You don't get a choice, slut!" she snarled. "You were born to die!"
"Not yet," the man said.
And swung his axe.
Cutting Sascha's head clean off.
Sascha's head rolled away into the corner, blood spraying out of her neck stump, all over Mika. Mika came violently, the biggest orgasm she'd ever had. Sascha had been right. Snuff was sexy.

Well I didn't see anything wrong with the content, although it didn't really appeal to me. Moral guardians have too much time on their hands. Don't let people push you around about what you want to write, even if it does rub some people the wrong way.

I liked how clean and precise the language was, and that you have a sound grasp of spelling and grammar, which can be surprisingly rare. There are still mistakes, and engaging a proofreader would be a good idea if you haven't already, but there are far worse to be found.

The big flaw here is just narrative structure and arranging a sequence of events that feels organic and has good momentum, plus some thorniness with the dialogue. That's the sort of thing that comes with experience and being well-read though, so with time and diligence you can learn to sort those things out.