Thursday, June 28, 2007

I don't know what's going on with my body but every time I start a new round of birth control pills for a good seven days I feel like throwing myself in front of a bus. Okay, I kid. Not a bus. A Prius or a Mini Cooper would do the trick.

(Mood swing, thy name is Chicky. Mrs. Chicky. And I like my anti-depressants shaken not stirred.)

(No, not really. I don't take anti-depressants. Maybe I should, or maybe I should just get off the Ortho-Novum. That, kids, is what will really hurt you. Pot? Nah. The Pill, now that's something to be worried about.)

The change in my mood is startling. I've never had a problem with birth control pills before I had Chicky. I wonder what changed?

Hmm...

You don't think it had anything to do with pushing a seven pound baby out of my girlie parts, do you? No, couldn't be. It probably didn't have anything to do with carrying a fetus in my womb for nine months either.

(Oh, the sarcasm. The hormones don't just bring out the happy in me they also bring out the snark. I'm a barrel of laughs to be around.)

I've had my blue periods before, short ones that correspond with huge life shifts: A bad marriage, an unanticipated change in careers, or a death, for instance. All to be expected. But lately they come in short but steady bursts.

I should probably back up a bit. I've always had a problem with fluctuations in hormone levels. Since the age of 17 (when I first started taking the Pill) if I missed a pill and had to double up the combination of the two would send me rushing for the toilet to toss up my lunch.

Knowing this, I knew I was doomed when I got pregnant with Chicky. And I was right. Oh boy I was right. Four months into my pregnancy and my doctor finally, once she realized that the nausea and vomiting were not going away, prescribed Zofran for me. Even the medication normally given to cancer patients receiving chemotherapy treatments didn't completely make me feel well. I love my body. LOVE it.

So now, since the child sprung from my loins (how I wish that were true) and once she was weaned I resumed taking birth control pills and they make me feel like shit. I might have made that point clear when I said something about a Prius and my body lying prone in front of its wheels. Okay, so I'm being a bit dramatic but with my gray mood comes drama. Like soap opera drama, not the good Meryl Streep-type drama.

It's time to do something.

Has anyone else had this problem? Have any solutions for me? Solutions that don't require straight jackets and butterfly nets?

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Just to show how fecked up I am during these moods, tonight during our normal bedtime ritual Chicky requested that we sing goodnight to Dizzy the cat. Normally she requests that we sing goodnight to Daddy, apples and crackers, but tonight we sang goodnight to my missing kitty. And don't you know that I started getting all teary. I mean really teary. Thankfully it was dark and I don't mind lying to my kid.

"No, honey, Mommy's not sad. She just has a sniffle that's all. And a hair in her eye. A cat hair.

45 comments:

I'm worried about you Mrs C - please talk to your doc about it, pronto. Hopefully the solution is as simple as switching pills, but what you're going through does not sound fun. Not to be too personal, but are you over 35? Maybe it is time to quit.

I spent the better part of a year on the wrong pill, enduring massive mood swings and occasional nausea and somehow convincing myself that it was normal. Then - finally - I switched brands and suddenly it all just went away. I'm still kicking myself for putting it off so long.

Let me throw my hat in that ring. Yes, this has happened to others...birth control has always made me feel uber-crappy, which was why I stopped taking them in my early twenties. Never again! I think if it is the wife's responsibility to carry a fetus for nine months and birth it, then it can be the man's responsibility to worry about birth control...at least that's what I tell my husband.

I was on Zofran for 6 months while I was pregnant with Big H and even that only took the edge off of the nausea. Pregnany hormones suck.

I, also, have been "hormonally challenged" since giving birth and am about to start an anti-depressant. I'm just not *me* anymore. I kept thinking if I gave it time things would settle, but they don't. So, get thee to a doctor pronto. Maybe switching to a different pill or a different form of birth control will help. But don't let it go.

Oh - I had an IUD put in and I love it. No pills or patches to worry about & that sucker can stay in for 5 or 10 years.

okay, i know it's selfish of me, but you got me worried for *myself* now! i'm the same way about throwing up after having to take two pills (if i forget). does this mean i'm destined for vomit-heavy pregnancies? eek! :(

I can't handle hormonal at all. I didn't even realized how screwed up I was until I stopped taking it to get pregnant. I tried an IUD, but...my uterus didn't appreciate it. It wasn't a big issue for me because I have very sporadic periods. I can get pregnant without assistance, but it takes a very concerted effort. I haven't taken any hormonal birth control for 12 years. My migraines became much less frequent and I was just a more even keeled person in general.

I think screwing around with hormones is a bad idea. Bad. Bad. Bad idea.

I always laughed really hard at the "Spongeworthy" episode of Seinfeld because I LOVED the sponge. It was the perfect solution for me.

I was never able to tolerate the pill, any of them. TCBIM got the snip, but if that's too permanent of a solution, what about an IUD or diaphragm? I know the latter has a higher ick factor, but there wouldn't be any hormones involved. I'm also in the "fucking with hormones is bad" camp. At least it was for me.

I get big mood swings, still, a few days before and then the entire time I have my period (basically, I have two good weeks and two wildly varying weeks). It sucks. I'm on an anti-depressant, which helps. You could talk to your doctor about that, but I'd try switching pills or stopping them completely first, to see if that helps.

After I had my son two years ago, my doctor put me on a progesterone-only pill (because it's safe while breastfeeding). It's called Micronor and I would NEVER go back to the old estrogen-based pills. I don't get monthly migraines much anymore, my complexion has cleared up, and while I am still a bit weepy right before my period I don't seem to get the murderous rage that used it accompany it. Give it a try, it can't hurt and it might help. Good luck.

I am not a fan of the pill either...(I have hormone hell too)...Maybe you should switch to a low dose estrogen or stop it all together...I don't use any form of B.C. (except abstinence) But that doesn't work for everyone...including my husband.

My friend uses that pill where you only get your period 4 times a year...she loves it.

Having my first baby sent my hormones into a permanent tailspin. I ffel ya.

May I recommend either Yaz or Yasmin bcp's? They're the only ones that never made me certifiable. They're a different kind of pill than the Ortho Novums et al. And the Yaz give you only a 3-4 day period.

I am so glad that I'm not a freak!!! My body does not do well with extra hormones--I tried the shot and the ring. Most of my sisters and in-laws have no problems but I am a nutcase on the hormones. Sorry-no advice except stop and be happy (?) or something like that.

Um, you ARE going through quite a bit right now with raising a toddler and Gram, and Dizzy, so you can have a mood swing or two. You're entitled. The hormone bit- ergh- I understand all too well. I became to poster child for all BCP side effects once I hit 30. Now we are calendar watchers. Seriously. It's the only thing my mixed-up bod can tolerate. We've been successful with this method so far but as we are still riding the fence on child # 2 neither of us has been spayed or neutered. Once I hit 40, I'm sending hubby into the shop to be vasectomied. He doesn't know that yet. 'Think I should tell him?

Vasectomy worked here too! But before that, I had the same problem with mood swings and sometimes I just got plain crazy and mean (with my husband). Anyway, definitely try a lower dose hormone pill. There are a couple of them out there and it should help a lot. Youcould also talk to your doc about vitamin B therapy. A friend of mine did that in lieu of anti-depressants and it worked for her.

I'm with Lawyer Mom. The new IUDs are supposed to be awesome. Thinking of getting one myself. I think age and predisposition also have a lot to do with things. The closer to 40 I get, the worse the PMS, etc. gets. Not fun. Good luck.

I always had missed periods, and all kinds of awful symptoms even with the pill. After I had my 2nd child, I got my tubes tied and it was the best decision I ever made. I now have a period every month like clockwork.

dude, that sounds bad. and i think i know some of the pain of which you speak. i too have been on the pill since my late teens, and for the most part was pretty much okay on it, but post-baby i found (as did my partner, though he was...erm...hesitant to share) that i became an overwhelmed, wretched, angry creature when on it. so...we've moved to condoms. i may have to take the pill again for a couple months now and then, to my chagrin, to kick my otherwise underactive hormonal system back into working normally, but i have no intention of ever going back on long term.

you've got a lot on your plate right now anyway, with your grandmother and that sadness...i'd minimize whatever hormonal interference you can in terms of trying to get yourself healthy and back to yourself.

Why not just refrain from sex? Ok I disappear for a long time and then I come back with this sarcasm that doesn't translate. Sorry.

I couldn't do the pill after I gave birth either and my periods are completely different than before. Having a baby does CrahRayZeee things to do your body. I hope you find a solution that works well for you.

Don't even get me started on birth control. I was on the mini-pill after having my baby, so I could still produce milk, and my period would go away for 6 months at a time! Scared the living SHYT out of me. I swear I spent over $100 on HPTs in this last year. And yes, I was reduced to evil, weepy-yet-psycho mommy for the duration of it. As soon as I stopped bfing, I dropped the pill like a bad habit. I also dropped my babydaddy too, so I am currently birth control free.Only problem now is that my complexion has returned to the lovey combination skin of a teenager.You just can't win being a freakin woman, huh?

I tried no less than 6 different types of bcp's and ended up on YAZ, not Yasmine. It treats severe PMDD, heavy flow, and I only get my period for 3 days! WOO HOO!

Talk to your doc, it's probably jsut the wrong pill for your new body. You do know you got a whole new uterus after having the baby? I swear I got a new one for each of my girls, now I am good and effed up....

Haven't you seen the commercial where the pretty 20-something girls sitting around the club just "happen" to break into conversation about YAZ? Ask your doctor if YAZ is right for you! ;p

I'm with Blog Antagonist, I LOVED using the Today Sponge. Loved it so much that when it was banned here, I ordered it online from Canada! Of course, as soon as I got pregnant with Kaitlyn ("we don't need to use a sponge, honey, I'm not ovulating"-famous last words), it became available here.

If you and your doc decide you do need a mild antidepressant just to get things back on track, I've been taking Wellbutrin for years, and believe you me, I have NO "sexual side effects"-TMI, maybe, but it's true! Hang in there, sweet pea.

I went off my birth control because I didn't like who I was when I was on it and it got worse and worse. I've been off for several months now and feel SO MUCH BETTER. Not really liking the condoms thing, but it's definately better than wanting to drive into a ravine.