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crows

There is something about this place. It’s weird and strange. It draws out the darkness that I try to hide in my safe little place. Every time I’m here, stories of strife and horror brew within my mind.

The crows and the ravens caw to me. Giving me permission to tell the stories of the things they see. They release the words from the grey clouds as they skydive to the ground.

Listen to me! Listen to me! You are our storyteller. You are our medium.

Listen to me! Listen to us! You bare our witness. You hold our trust.

Sing with us! Sing with us!You are one of the witches. You are one of us.

Like this:

Was thinking it would be fun to do a daily Crow Update. So… here goes.

Yesterday, I heard a Crow. One… single… Crow. Yet, it was nowhere to be seen. Are they playing hide-and-seek with me? They are playful creatures.

I didn’t not see any Crows yesterday, just not at my parents. My Mom and I went to Owen Sound and I saw a few along the way, just not the ones I want to see! Today is another day. I am going to go out for a long walk today and fingers crossed, I see some of those beauties! Next update, forthcoming!

One of the things I look forward to when I visit my parents is seeing the Crows and Ravens. I absolutely love Crows and Ravens. I swear as soon as I show up, they aren’t around. Why? Why do you do this to me? All I want to do is love you. Please come back Crows and Ravens. COME BACK!!!

In the meantime, I will lovingly look at this drawing of two Crows.

All kidding aside, There are two birds that fit with who I am and what people think they see. On the inside, I feel like I am a Raven. I also feel that it is my spirit bird. The Raven is intelligence and is able to learn quickly, using what they learn to figure out solutions to problems, to puzzles. They are dark and mysterious. ‘The Raven totem signifies mystery and divination, and the attraction to the magical or mystical ways.’ I’m the dark little girl with the crooked smile. I am a Raven.

Others see a Flamingo. Someone who is bright and showy. I am only that way when I really, truly need to be. I am what you might call an extroverted introvert. I love being on a stage and performing, yet being around people close-up and personal has always made me uncomfortable. I was an incredibly shy kid who would rather sit alone and read or draw. I’m ok to perform for those people, I just don’t feel comfortable talking to them. This is why I am so drawn to both of those birds.

Of late, I have also become very curious about all birds. With Spring sort of returning, there are many, many different types of birds singing in the trees around us. I’ve been seeing a lot of Cardinals this year. Way more than any other year and it had me thinking that I would love to learn more about the birds that are in my neighbourhood. I want to hear a song from one of them and immediately recognize what kind of bird it is. The High Park Nature Centre down the street does have walkabouts for bird identification and I am considering going on one. They had a fantastic one for Bats.

Oh, Bats. Another flying creature I am obsessed with. My ghoul fiends Thea and Adam gave us a Bat Detector for our wedding gift last year and I CANNOT wait to start using it! It is finally warming up enough that the Bats will be out feeding. Nightly walks will be becoming a popular end to the day.

Today is the day. If I don’t get a photo of the crows or the Raven, I will need to find somewhere in Toronto where they congregate. Why must they torment me? I can hear them and see them in other people’s yards. When I try to make my way towards them to take a picture, they take off. All I ask is you come visit our front yard and let me get some good photographs of you. What I wouldn’t do right now for my DSLR right now and a zoom lens.

My intention today was to sit on the covered porch to write, but the temperature suddenly dropped and big, gray clouds started rolling in. I moved to the kitchen table and can actually see a wall of rain heading towards us. Have you ever been outside when this happens, especially when you have nowhere to go? I have, it’s not always a fun experience. I’d much rather be watching it from the safety of inside.

I’ve decided to give myself permission to take a few days off. Not sleeping well due to the futon from hell, I’m tired. When I get home tomorrow, I will likely take a long, hot shower, throw in my laundry and then watch 1950s, sci-fi b-movies. Maybe I can convince my love to order in. I’ve been away from him for a week and a half and it will feel good to be with him again. I have to say I am incredibly lucky to have such a supportive partner. It doesn’t hurt that he’s easy on the eyes.

Blogging every day has been fun and a great way to wake up my brain each day, but I’m not sure I can continue to do it daily. I have realized that I definitely need to blog more often. I still have plans to vlog, but for now, will continue to blog. My priority is to get a solid first draft of my novel done, then I can figure out vlogging and the youtube channel I keep talking about.

The other thing that evades me are the books I am looking for. We checked a few places in town and was not able to find them. It looks like a trip to the Reference Library will be happening upon my return. In all honesty, I need to go there on a regular basis to research and write.

Because of the pending rain, the crows have disappeared again. Off to find shelter and to stay dry. They are intelligent creatures and I’m sure decided that the redhead isn’t going to capture their image. You just wait crows, I may not capture your image today, but I will one day.

The sun — it burns! IT BURNS! When you are so pale that you look like you may be dead — the sun is your enemy. It’s extra evil when you forget to bring your sunscreen. I’ve been to the grocery store twice now and both times forgot to pick up some. Yesterday my mom scavenged through the medicine cabinet to find a tube of SPF 30 that expired in 2012. Might be time to get a new tube Mom! Maybe? Until I remember to buy a tube, I will be hiding out in the safety of the shade. This is what happens when you are part vampire.

Two mornings in a row at 3 am I have been awoken by a strange noise outside. A low, guttural clicking noise. It sounds like it is coming from the side yard, just on the other side of the deck. Is this an animal? A reptile? What makes this kind of noise? Zombies? Werewolves? The neighbours? Every time I am up north, it always feels like the beginning of a horror movie.

Then there are the crows.

7:30 am on the dot, second morning in a row, my wake up call was the very loud, very boisterous cawing of crows congregating on the fence beside my parents house. At least a dozen of those gleaming black beauties cackling away at each other. This sound is music to my ears. I love crows and ravens. Once I finally stumbled out to the kitchen, I could see them all lined up along the rail-tie fence. Then I spotted her. A massive raven perched on the roof of the house directly above them. She looked regal, as if she was looking down at her coven. Ravens are my spirit animal.

I have always been fascinated by crows and ravens. More so ravens. They are birds that work in communities, who protect each other, are super intelligent and seem to be in tune with the energies around them. Many of my women partners-in-crime see themselves with houses filled with cats when they are in their eighties, I see myself with a house filled with ravens and crows. No. I’m not kidding. Two of my favourite things are a charcoal drawing of a raven that my super talented friend Laurie made and a small statue of a raven pulling flesh from a skull. My perfect creepy house, when I’m in my eighties and nineties will include a raven, on a perch near the front entrance. You definitely don’t need a fancy alarm system or a guard dog if you have a raven on the watch.

I’m going to be at my parents for at least another week. I’m hoping to get a good photo of the raven. I may need to figure out where in Toronto to find ravens and crows. It would be a good series of photos to take with my DSLR. For now, while at my parent, I will need to rely on my cell phone camera.