I still work my pizza delivery job which basically amounts to little more than getting paid to play Super Nintendo and do crossword puzzles in the newspaper in addition to occasionally delivering someone their food(on slow days). When I have a busy day the tips can be pretty damn good, especially for the hours I work, but relying on tips kind of sucks when you work at a really small business(as opposed to when I was a busboy and was raking in $40 on a slow night in addition to the $5.15 an hour going into my check). At least all my pay is under the counter.

Interesting things happened yesterday. At work (I work at a porn retailer now), a lady asked me to grope her breasts because she got a new boob job and then later in the day Larry Flynt showed up in his gold wheelchair.
After work, I went to a female co-workers birthday party, who is very cute and just my physical type. I drank a full six pack of Fat Tire and three shots of Whiskey and accidentally dropped my glasses in the toilet moments before puking in it (luckily my glasses were removed before the regurgitation). There was also a lot of ass whipping (my co-workers like to receive and give whippings). I dont remember how it started, but the birthday girl and myself ended up making out heavily in front of our other co-workers (who were all invited to her party) and when everyone left for the night, we ended up in her bedroom.
One of our other co-workers crashed on the floor, but that didnt stop us from making out and me working my magic fingers.
Que to the morning and I have two enormous rashes the size of Florida on both sides of my neck (hickies) because the girl I made out with is kinda crazy and is into vampirism and likes to drink blood and stuff. Before I leave, she tells me that she blacked out and has no memory of anything that happened in the bedroom, which sucks because she asked me to spend the night on Monday..and now I think it might not happen.
About 6 hours later, I go to work hungover and get shit from everybody because of my new skin art.
Now, I'm not sure if things will be weird between me and the co-worker or not, if she even likes me or if the alcohol was doing the talking, or what will happen with my other co-workers.
?

What the fuck is this shit?
Is my girlfriend stupid enough to leave a picture of her hand carressing another man's Johnson on her cellphone, or is the picture of something else entirely?
And where were my balls when I saw the photo this morning? Not on the pic. I was working at the time. Hmmm?

*edit: it was actually a pic of her junk upside down, which looked a little like a penis (or at least when I viewed it in the morning and had sleep in my eyes).