How To Shave Your Pubes

You asked us how to shave your pubes, and we listened. If you, like many men, have decided to take your manscaping regime to the next level and shave your pubes down to bare balls, you’ve come to the right place. Now while you’re probably standing in front of a mirror with a razor in one hand and your knob in the other, wondering how the hell you’re supposed to comfortably take a blade to your plums without inflicting serious injury whilst shaving, don’t despair. With the right equipment and a few key pointers, you’ll be jangling your hair-free junk in no time at all.

While it adds a whole new element to your regular grooming rituals (unless you decide to grow it back and suffer through the inevitable week-of-itch that accompanies stubble on your sack), many men are opting for the new dimension of hairlessness that goes along with a perfectly bald ballsack.

If you’re going to take the plunge and shave your balls then here’s our list off essential things to remember when you’re removing your rude-rug, for optimum results and an irritation-free nutsack. Enjoy.

“There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking, I suggest you try it.”

Choose Your Weapon to Shave Your Pubes

This is seriously, seriously important. The razor you decide to use to shave your pubes could make the difference between a clean-cut set of cojones or literally a clean cut – possibly even an unwanted vasectomy. As much as you like the old-world gentlemanly appeal of the vintage styled safety razor you use to shape your handsome beard, invest in a modern razor like a Gillette Fusion or a Schick Hydro for downstairs. The more blades, the less pressure you’ll need to apply to your baby-berries, and we don’t need to explain why that’s a positive.

Plan Ahead of Shaving Your Balls

If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail, and when it comes to shaving your pubes, the stakes are high. Figure out how far you want to go and draw up some mental boundaries. Use a pair of clippers to take off most of your existing down-there hair to the stubble. Don’t use the same clippers you use on your face, either (just in case you’re that kind of an animal that we have to state the obvious) – different bacteria from different parts of your body can cross-contamin…. You know what just trust us, it’s gross. Get a pair of pube-clippers and keep them far away from your other stuff.

Once that’s done, have a hot shower. This soften the roots and makes sure you’re nice and clean where it counts, reducing the risk of irritation and infection.

Lay Down the Foundation

Shaving oil and shaving cream have never been more of a friend to you than they when you’re slicing the hairs off your avocados. Once you’ve comprehensively trimmed the area with clippers and warmed your wiener, apply shaving oil then shaving cream. Liberally. Keep some on hand too, you’re going to want to reapply for each stroke.

Keep it Tight When Shaving Your Balls

We cannot stress this enough. Limp, sagging skin drags and catches under a moving razor like nothing else, and nothing else sags like a sad sack, so keep the skin taut while you shave to avoid a worst-case scenario. The brief, uncomfortable pulling sensation against your testes is far more pleasant than the Dexter-esque aftermath that results from an accidental scrotal snip, so take heed.

While the skin is tight, focus on short, slow strokes – you don’t want to go hard and fast as you’ll end up having to do it again, and one of the keys for avoiding irritation here is to minimise contact time with the razor. Unlike shaving your face, there isn’t as much of a ‘grain’ to follow per se, so work with what direction’s most comfortable for you, and which provides the greatest visibility.

Going off course into unchartered territory is a dangerous prospect, so stay within your line of sight for best results.

Aftershave Like Never Before

This is crucial. Y’see, aftershave on your face helps soothe skin and smells nice for a bit, but on your balls, it plays a much greater role in reducing the risk of irritation and possibly infection. As blood is thicker than water, pubes are thicker that the rest of your hair, and as such, are more likely to become ingrown. Find a good quality alcohol-based aftershave and apply it liberally – not just straight after the fact, but in the following days too.

There you have it – use the above advice carefully and you’ll be well on your way to experiencing the breathtaking feeling Mike Meyers’ eponymous evil doctor so eloquently describes. Happy shaving!