The New York Daily News has discovered that in an effort to beat the rap on his 50-game suspension, Melky and his "associates" devised a scheme that included purchasing a website for $10,000, making this website appear to sell a fake product and pretending Melky purchased and used the product, unaware that it contained a banned substance. Ohh, this close.

Cabrera offered the website as evidence during his appeal and the scheme devolved into comedy in short order.

MLB's department of investigations quickly began asking questions about the website and the "product" - Where was the site operating from? Who owned it? What kind of product was it? - and quickly discovered that an existing website had been altered, adding an ad for the product, a topical cream, that didn't exist.

Perhaps the worst part in all this is that Jeff Novitzky is back on the scene and Melky has, as the Daily News put it "exposed his associates to scrutiny" from the FDA sleuth.

A "Cabrera associate," Juan Nunez, is taking the fall for most of this. Cabrera's agents, Sam and Seth Levinson are swearing up and down that they had no knowledge of this crackpot scheme, let alone anything to do with it. They are also quick to point out the employment designation of Juan Nunez; he is a "paid consultant" not an "employee."

"Juan Nunez is NOT a salaried employee of ACES and does NOT receive the benefits that all ACES employees receive," Levinson said. "Most importantly, any and all calls, texts and emails that he sends come from his own PERSONAL devices (BlackBerry)."

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So, no implication to the Levinsons' company (Athletes' Career Enhanced and Secured, Inc.), either. Got it.

And it's worth noting that it always seems to be the "associates" as opposed to the "representatives," doesn't it? Some poor tag-along sap has to come forward, or get blamed, while Seth Levinson can write via email "I will state unequivocally and irrefutably that any payment made to the website does not come from ACES." to the Daily News without flinching.