The Numbers Behind Pornography

Hi, Internet. Or rather, greetings, filthy facet for flesh flashing fetishes. And I say that because 43% of the time, you’re being used to show boobies to booby deprived people.

If you’re under 18, you will most likely type the words “sex” and “porn” into your search bar. Just remember, if you’re on your parents’ computer, make sure you enable “private browsing”. Also, when you finish your 15 minute session of damning sin, to lash yourself 15 times in order to achieve proper redemption, and then go kiss your mother. I know, I know. It’ll be weird to kiss her after what you’ve done. But do it anyway. It’ll make you feel better. On the plus side, whatever site you may visit, there’s only a 3% chance that you’ll be asked to verify that you’re of age. So, if you happen to find a site that doesn’t ask, then at least you don’t have to live with the guilt of lying on top of the guilt of viewing other people engage in the ever-so private act of slippin’ and slidin’ over each other.

And if you’re from Utah, you’re probably not reading this, because you’re doing porn things. And if you’re in San Fernando Valley, you’re definitely not reading this, because you’re having sex for money. But it’s not prostitution… Right? That’s silly. It’s sex for money, but it’s not prostitution. That’s like the 30 year-old lady, who looks to be nearing 60, that sits outside of the local gas station smoking cigs all day coughing these words at you: “I’m not a smoker. As long as those security cameras are watching, I’m good to go.” [via]