I remember buying “Naked Lady Pens” and “Fortune Fish” along with many other items, from a magazine ad Lakeside placed, in like 1972? I resold these items to other kids in the neighborhood. Nowadays I probably would have been expelled from school instead of merely having my pens confiscated.

Here it is 40 years or so later, and I am still at it. I bought the remaining stock of Lakeside Novelty’s inventory when Joel retired, and more recently the stock of a joke shop that closed in Lincoln City, Oregon. We offer discount prices for retail customers, and steep quantity discounts for casual resellers and institutions. (If you want LARGE quantities, that can be arranged also!)… Read the rest here

I saw on prefunct* tie-dye website TourDyes.com that one of the items they will trade tie-dyes products for is “Freak Brothers Comics”. I think I actually have one or two in my uncle Marvin’s attic. Apparently I left a box of comic books over there when I spent part of the summer at their house. In 1976. I told aunt Jean she could toss them or sell them on eBaY, but I need to make the trek and visit them while we are all still vertical.

I liked Fat Freddy’s cat, there was a running gag where he would shit in Fat Freddy’s shoe. It was funny because that cat was so very happy doing it. The cockroach army was funny until a few years later when I moved into a crappy apartment and found out about cockroaches.

* Prefunct is a word I just coined, it’s something that is defunct from the get-go.… Read the rest here

Today we salute G. Gochanour, a retired guy from Iowa who attempted to monetize the concept of twiddling your thumbs. He was/is the “Founder and Chairman of the Board” of Twiddler’s Anonymous.

Initially, I thought this was some flavor of 12 step program, but the tagline is “Preserve the art, teach someone to Twiddle”. You could send away for a kit that included a membership card, certificate, s little booklet that is entertaining but it does not explain the odd bit of plastic with two holes in it, I assume it is some some sort of thumb-twiddling appliance, although I cannot fit even a finger in it, let alone a thumb. I have been trying to figure it out in short sessions, because there is a warning;

CAUTION
Avoid over exertion
May Become Habit Forming
Check With Your Doctor

Here is the text of the little booklet that came with this mysterious “twiddler”.

The
Riddle of
the Twiddle

You have no doubt heard the expression "Go twiddle your thumbs." My grandmother used to say it a lot. But have you ever seen a twiddle? The answer is a definite no. There are many twiddlers in this world, you have to observe closely to catch them twiddling.
I am retired and

We just got a case of these silly frog keychains. You squeeze him, his tongue rolls out like he’s just seen Miss Piggy in a bikini. Why? Just because it struck my fancy. Our inventory racks are filled with things like this, the old 80/20 rule at work. 20% of items generate 80% of profit, in this case. There are some items that are just there to add pizzaz. All I know is that I have a frog in my pocket.

Last year, boneless pork rectums were all the rage, but now people won’t give a plugged nickel for them. Why are you so fickle? These are “back by popular demand”. But we don’t sell food products here.

This commentary is brought to you by our fun tattoo, red, white, and blue “USDA CHOICE” because that’s probably required to work at the pork rectum plant.… Read the rest here

We had the standard BigCommerce “mobile theme” enabled on our store at restlessmouse.com – but I just turned it off.

Looking at it through the eyes of a cellphone or tablet user, it seems to work better to just have the same site everyone else sees, and do the two-finger salute thing to enlarge it for a better view. Since my eyesight isn’t so good anymore, I figure that goes double for people with good vision.

As usual, your comments and opinions are welcome. (I can always just flip a virtual switch to turn it back on.) I’ll be watching to see if they improve the mobile theme to make it more palatable.… Read the rest here

Recently, I made the the decision to wean myself off of whimsical T-shirts.

I used to get them from Tanga almost every month. Maybe it’s because I am getting “GQ” magazine, although I never subscribed. The other guy with the same name is probably getting the Metal Detecting magazine I paid for but never got.

I can’t even afford the booze those GQ guys drink, let alone the clothes. And the women? Forget about it. Seriously, forget about it. (Teresa says: That’s what those women say to YOU)

But this one almost made my break my pledge, it says; “LADIES! If a man says he will fix it HE WILL” and in smaller print, “There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it”.

These were in and out of stock for the longest time, and the plywood was kind of flimsy. Imagine our delight when we ordered 6 dozen and they all have thicker plywood, not flimsy at all, straight and true on every one. We are sure that you will be delighted, and almost tempted to blow some Pall Mall Menthols on it to make it smell like Grandma’s house.

UPDATE JAN 6th- Our supplier has informed us that they expect their 2015 supply in April, so we are shooting for having these back in stock by the end of April or first part of may. We have started a list of people to notify when they are in stock, please email us if you wish to be added to that list (A special list solely for doghouse notifications.) Thanks, John… Read the rest here