I posted in the previous page what i try to do when i am a bit down and that is read Holy Quran with understanding and few other things. You got to read that post for details and alhamdulillah i am still waiting patiently on my other brothers and sisters to share their experiences. So what do you do when you feel a bit off the track?

wassalam

Edited by fatima

Say: (O Muhammad) If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is Forgiving, MercifuL

An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications The Definition of PatienceSabr is an Arabic word which comes from a root meaning to detain, refrain and stop. There is an expression in Arabic, "so-and-so was killed sabran," which means that he was captured and detained until he died. In the spiritual sense, patience means to stop ourselves from despairing and panicking, to stop our tongues from complaining, and to stop our hands from striking our faces and tearing our clothes at times of grief and stress. What scholars have said about patience Some scholars have defined patience as a good human characteristic or a positive psychological attitude, by virtue of which we refrain from doing that which is not good. Human beings cannot live a proper, healthy life without patience.

Abu 'Uthman said: "the one who has patience is the one who has trained himself to handle difficulties."

'Amr ibn 'Uthman al-Makki said: "Patience means to keep close to Allah and to accept calmly the trials He sends, without complaining or feeling sad."

Al-Khawwas said: "Patience means to adhere to the rules of the Qur'an and Sunnah."

Another scholar said: "Patience means to refrain from complaining."

Ali ibn Abi Talib said: "Patience means to seek Allah's help." Is it better to have patience at a time of difficulty, or to be in a situation which does not require patience? Abu Muhammad al-Hariri said: "Patience means not seeing any difference between times of ease and times of hardship, and being content at all times." I (Ibn Qayyim) say: This is too difficult, and we are not instructed to be like this. Allah has created us in such a way that we feel the difference between times of ease and times of hardship, and all that we can do is refrain from panicking at times of stress. Patience does not mean feeling the same at both easy and difficult times. That is beyond us, and is not part of our nature. Having an easy time is better for us than having a difficult time. As the Prophet (SAAS) said in his well-known du'a: "If You are not angry with me, then I do not care what happens to me, but still I would rather have Your blessings and favour." This does not contradict the hadith which says, "No-one has ever been given a better gift than patience," because that refers to after a test or trial has befallen a person. But ease is still better. Patience and Shakwah (complaint) Shakwah (complaint) falls into two categories: The first type means to complain to Allah, and this does not contradict patience. It is demonstrated by several of the Prophets, for example, when Ya qub (AS) said: "I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah." (Yusuf 12:86).

Earlier, Ya'qub (AS) had said "sabrun jamil" which means "patience is most fitting for me." The Qur'an also tells us about Ayyub: "And (remember) Ayyub (Job), when he cried to his Lord, 'Truly distress has seized me. (al-Anbiya 21:83).

The epitome of patience, the Prophet (SAAS), prayed to his Lord: " O Allah, I complain to You of my weakness and helplessness." Musa (AS) prayed to Allah, saying: "O Allah, all praise is due to You, and complaint is made only to You, and You are the only One from Whom we seek help and in Whom we put our trust, and there is no power except by Your help." The second type of complaint involves complaining to people, either directly, through our words, or indirectly, through the way we look and behave. This is contradictory to patience. Opposing forces Psychologically speaking, every person has two forces at work within him or her. One is the "driving force", which pushes him towards some actions, and the other is the "restraining force", which holds him back from others. Patience essentially harnesses the driving force to push us towards good things, and the restraining force to hold us back from actions that may be harmful to ourselves or others. Some people have strong patience when it comes to doing what is good for them, but their patience is weak with regard to restraint from harmful actions, so we may find that a person has enough patience to perform acts of worship (Salah, Sawm, Hajj), but has no patience in controlling himself and refraining from following his whims and desires, and in this way he may commit haram deeds. Conversely, some people may have strong patience in abstaining from forbidden deeds, but their patience in obeying commandments and performing 'ibadah is too weak. Some people have no patience in either case! And, needless to say, the best people are those who possess both types of patience. So, a man may have plenty of patience when it comes to standing all night in prayer, and enduring whatever conditions of heat or cold may be prevalent, but have no patience at all when it comes to lowering his gaze and refraining from looking at women. Another may have no problem in controlling his gaze, but he lacks the patience which would make him enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and he is so weak and helpless that he cannot strive against the kuffar and mushrikun. Most people will be lacking in patience in any one case, and a few lack it in all cases. Further definition of patience A scholar said: "To have patience means that one's common sense and religious motives are stronger than one's whims and desires." It is natural for people to have an inclination towards their desires, but common sense and the religious motive should limit that inclination. The two forces are at war: sometimes reason and religion win, and sometimes whims and desires prevail. The battlefield is the heart of man.

Patience has many other names, according to the situation. If patience consists of restraining sexual desire, it is called honour, the opposite of which is adultery and promiscuity. If it consists of controlling one's stomach, it is called self-control, the opposite of which is greed. If it consists of keeping quiet about that which it is not fit to disclose, it is called discretion, the opposite of which is disclosing secrets, lying, slander or libel. If it consists of being content with what is sufficient for one's needs, it is called abstemiousness, the opposite of which is covetousness. If it consists of controlling one's anger, then it is called forbearance, the opposite of which is impulsiveness and hasty reaction. If it consists of refraining from haste, then it is called gracefulness and steadiness, the opposite of which is to be hotheaded. If it consists of refraining from running away, then it is called courage, the opposite of which is cowardice. If it consists of refraining from taking revenge, then it is called forgiveness, the opposite of which is revenge. If it consists of refraining from being stingy, then it is called generosity, the opposite of which is miserliness. If it consists of refraining from being lazy and helpless, then it is called dynamism and initiative. If it consists of refraining from blaming and accusing other people, then it is called chivalry {muru'ah literally "manliness").

Different names may be applied to patience in different situations, but ail are covered by the idea of patience. This shows that Islam in its totality is based on patience. Is it possible to obtain the quality of patience? If a person does not naturally possess the characteristic of patience, he can attain this characteristic by acting as if he does possess it, until it eventually becomes second nature. This is what the Prophet (SAAS) has told us in the hadith: "Whoever tries to be patient, then Allah will help him to be patient." A person can also strive to control his sexual desire and lower his gaze until these too become second nature. The same applies to all other desirable characteristics such a steadiness, generosity and courage. Different perspectives on patience Patience may be of two types, either physical or psychological, and both types may either be by choice, or without choice, as follows:

1. Physical patience by choice, such as doing hard labour willingly.

2. Physical patience without choice, such as patiently bearing illness, beatings and extremes of heat and cold.

3. Psychological patience by choice, such as refraining from things which both the Sharî‘ah and common sense say are wrong.

4. Psychological patience without choice, such as patiently bearing an enforced separation from one whom you love.

Different degrees of patienceAs mentioned above, patience is of two types, by choice or without choice. Patience by choice is of a higher status than patience without choice, as the latter is common to all people, but the former is not attainable by all. Therefore the patience of Yûsuf in disobeying the wife of al-‘Azîz, and his patience in bearing the resulting punishment, is of higher status than his patience in response to his brothers’ actions, when they threw him in the well, separated him from his father and sold him as a slave. This superior, voluntary, patience is the patience of the Prophets, of Ibrâhîm, Mûsâ, Nûh, ‘Īsâ and the Seal of the Prophets, Muhammad (SAAS). Their patience was in calling the people to Allâh and in striving against the enemies of Allâh. The patience of men and the patience of animals These four types of patience apply only to human beings. Animals share only the two types of patience in which there is no choice, and man is distinguished by having the patience in which there is choice. However, many people have only the types of patience that animals have, i.e. patience without choice. The patience of jinn Jinn share the quality of patience with humans, as they are responsible for their actions like humans are. They need patience to fulfil their responsibilities towards Allâh the same way that we do. One might ask: are they responsible in the same way that we are, or in a different way? The answer is that with regard to matters of emotion and feelings they are responsible just as we are, and share the obligation to love for the sake of Allâh and hate for Allâh, to believe and have faith, to take believers for friends and unbelievers for enemies, etc. But as far as physical matters such as ghusl, wudû‘, washing after relieving oneself and circumcision are concerned, they are not the same as us. Their duties in that regard are in accordance with the way they are created. The patience of the angels Another question that may arise is: Do angels have patience? The answer is that angels are not tested with whims and desires that contradict their reason and knowledge. For them, worshipping and obeying Allâh are like breathing is for us. Therefore the angels do not need patience, because patience is needed when one has conflicting motives, religion and reason opposite to whims and desires. However, the angels may have some kind of patience which befits them and makes them persevere in doing what they were created for. The patience of man If a man’s patience is stronger than his whims and desires, then he is like an angel, but if his whims and desires are stronger than his patience, then he is like a devil. If his desire for food, drink and sex is stronger than his patience, then he is no better than an animal.

Qatâdah said: “Allâh created angels with reason and no desires, animals with desires and no reason, and man with both reason and desires.” So if a man’s reason is stronger than his desire he is like an angel, and if his desires are stronger than his reason, then he is like an animal. A little baby has only the desire for food when he needs it, and his patience is like the patience of animals. Until he reaches an age when he can tell what is what, he has no choice. When he grows a little older and develops a desire to play, then his patience by choice will develop. He will start to know what patience means when his sexual desire develops. At the same time, his power of reasoning is also developing, but between the age when he can tell right from wrong and the age of puberty, all he can see is his own interests in this world, and what might make life good or bad. This limited view will remain until he is guided by Allâh, then he will have the full picture and begin to think of his interests both in this life and the hereafter. He will become aware of where different actions may lead, and will prepare himself for a long struggle with his desires and natural inclinations. Different degrees of patienceThe kinds of patience which relate to resisting whims and desires can be graded according to how strong and effective they are. There are three degrees of patience in this respect:

1. The motive of religion is strongest in controlling and defeating the whims and desires. This level of control can only be achieved through consistent patience, and those who reach this level are victorious in this life and in the hereafter. They are the ones “who say, ‘Our Lord is Allâh’” (Fussilât 41:30). These are the ones to whom, at the moment of death, the angels say, “Fear not!...Nor grieve! But receive the Glad Tidings of the Garden (of Bliss), that which you were promised! We are your protectors in this life and the Hereafter." (Fussilât 41:30-31).

They are the ones who enjoy the companionship of Allâh, and who strive in the way of Allâh. They are the ones whom Allâh has guided to the exclusion of others.

2. When whims and desires prevail, the religious motive is diminished. The doomed person will surrender totally to Shaytân and his forces, who will lead him wherever they want. His relationship with them will be either of two possibilities. Either he will become their follower and a soldier in their army, which is the case of the weak person, or Shaytân will become a weapon for him, and one of his soldiers, which is the case of the strong person who rebels against Allâh. Those people are the ones whose misfortune has overtaken them, as they preferred this world to the Hereafter. The main reason for their sorry fate is that they ran out of patience. The major characteristic of these people is that they lie and cheat, indulge in wishful thinking and self-admiration, delay doing good deeds, and prefer instant gains in this world to lasting gains in the Hereafter. These are the people to whom the Prophet (SAAS) referred when he said: “The helpless man is the one who follows his whims and desires, and indulges in wishful thinking.”

These unfortunate people are of several types. Some of them declare war against Allâh and His Messenger, trying to destroy what the Prophet (SAAS) brought, pushing people away from the way of Allâh, and spreading corruption on earth. Some are interested solely in their worldly interests. Some are two faced hypocrites who try to ingratiate themselves with everybody and gain something from every situation. Some are promiscuous, and devote their entire life to the pursuit of physical pleasure. Some, if they are warned, say that they would dearly love to repent, find it too difficult and plead they have no chance. Some say that Allâh does not need their prayers and fasting, that they will not attain salvation by virtue of their deed, and that they will rely on the fact that Allâh is Merciful. Some of them claim that refraining from committing wrong actions is like undermining the forgiveness of Allâh. Some will say, “What good could my worship do after all the wrong actions I have committed? What can help a drowning man if his fingers are above water and the rest of his body is submerged?” Some say that they will repent when death approaches...

So many excuses, all because their whims and desires control their reason, and they use their reason, in turn, to find ways of fulfilling those desires. Their reason is held prisoner by the Shaytân, and put to work to serve his evil purposes, just as Muslim prisoners-of-war may be abused by the kâfirûn and forced to look after pigs, make wine or carry the cross. The man who suppresses his reason and puts it under the control of the enemy (Shaytân) is like the one who seizes a Muslim and hands him over to the kâfirûn to imprison him.

3. There is a war that is raging between the motives of reason and religion, and the motives of whims and desires. Sometimes one prevails, sometimes the other gains the upper hand. The pattern of victories for either side varies. This is the situation in the case of most believers, who mix good deeds and bad deeds.

People’s ultimate fate in the Hereafter will correspond to the three situations outlined above. Some people will enter Paradise and never enter Hell, some will enter Hell and never enter Paradise, and some will enter Hell for some time before they are admitted to Paradise. Different strengths of patience Some people cannot have patience without struggling and facing many difficulties. Others are able to have patience easily. The first type is like a man who wrestles with a strong man and cannot beat him with the utmost effort. The second type is like a man who wrestles with a weak man and beats him easily. Such is the war between the soldiers of ar-Rahmân and the soldiers of Shaytân. Whoever defeats the soldiers of Shaytân can defeat Shaytân himself. ‘Abdullâh ibn Mas‘ûd narrated: “A man wrestled with one of the jinn, and beat him, then asked, ‘Why are you so weak and small?’ The jinn answered, ‘I am very big and strong compared to the rest of the jinn.’” Someone asked ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ûd, “Was that man, ‘Umar?” and he replied, “Who else could it have been?”

Some of the Sahâbah said, “A believer whips the Shaytân like the way a person whips his camel when he is travelling.”

Ibn Abi’d-Dunyâ narrated from some of the salaf that one shaytân met with another, and asked him why he was so thin. The other shaytân replied, “Because I am a with a man who mentions the name of Allâh when he eats, so I cannot eat with him, and he mentions the name of Allâh when he drinks, so I cannot drink with him. When he enters his home he mentions the name of Allâh, so I stay outside.” The first shaytân said, “But I am with a man who does not mention the name of Allâh when he eats, so I eat with him. He does not mention the name of Allâh when he drinks, so I drink with him. When he enters his home he does not mention the name of Allâh, so I enter with him."

So whoever develops the habit of patience is feared by his enemies, and whoever finds patience difficult is in danger, as his enemy will readily dare to attack him and do him harm. When patience is needed Patience is required in the following areas of life:

1. In worshipping Allâh and following His commands, 2. In abstaining from wrong actions, 3. In accepting Allâh’s decree and ruling (qadâ’ wa qadr). This is the advice given to Luqmân when he told his son: “O my son! establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just and forbid what is wrong; and bear with patient constancy whatever betide you; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs.” (Luqmân 31:17)

Enjoining what is just includes doing good oneself, and forbidding what is wrong includes abstaining from wrong action oneself. Patience in worshipping Allâh Patience in worshipping Allâh and carrying out His instructions means that you perform the prescribed acts of worship regularly and do so sincerely and with knowledge. Worship that is not performed regularly is of no value. Even if worship is performed regularly, there are two dangers. Firstly, we risk losing our sincerity, if the motive for performing prayers is not to please Allâh and draw closer to Him.

So to protect our worship we must make sure that we are sincere. Secondly, we must be sure never to deviate from the way of the Prophet (SAAS), so we have to ensure that our worship is done according to the Sunnah.

Patience in abstaining from wrong action This type of patience can be achieved through the fear of the punishment which follows the wrong action, or through a feeling of hayâ’ (shyness or shame) before Allâh for using His blessings in committing wrong actions. That feeling of hayâ’ before Allâh can be strengthened through learning more about Allâh and knowing more about His names and attributes. Hayâ’ is a characteristic of people who are noble and possess good qualities, so the person who refrains from wrong action because of hayâ’ is better than the one who abstains because of fear. Hayâ’ indicates that a person is mindful of Allâh and His might. The person whose deterrent is the fear of Allâh has his thoughts focused on the punishment. The fearful person’s main concern is himself and how to save himself from the punishment, whereas the “shy” person’s main concern is Allâh and His Glory. Both have attained the status of îmân, but the “shy” person has attained ihsân, a higher status of îmân, in which he conducts himself as if he can see Allâh, and so his heart is filled with hayâ’.

The reason why it is so important for a believer to abstain from wrong action is because he must protect his îmân, as wrong action decreases îmân or extinguishes it. The Prophet (SAAS) said, “When the adulterer commits adultery he is not a believer, and when the winebibber drinks alcohol he is not a believer and when the thief steals he is not a believer. The believer should abstain from many permitted actions in case they may lead to that which is forbidden.”

Patience at times of trial and adversity Patience during difficult times may be achieved by:

1. thinking of the good reward that lies ahead. The more you believe in the rewards that are waiting for you, the easier it becomes to have patience. If it were not for the anticipation of the rewards, no goals or objectives pertaining to this life or the hereafter would have been achieved. Human nature loves instant gratification, but reason and maturity make us think of the long term outcome, which helps to strengthen our patience in enduring whatever faces us, whether there is no choice or otherwise;

2. expecting and hoping for a time of ease. This hope in itself offers a measure of immediate relief;

3. thinking of Allâh’s countless blessings. When we realize that we cannot enumerate the blessings of Allâh, it becomes easier for us to exercise patience in facing the current adversity, because the present troubles are like a raindrop compared to vast ocean of Allâh’s blessings and favours;

4. thinking of previous blessings of Allâh. This will remind us of Allâh’s care, and strengthen our hopes ad expectations of a time of ease to come. Five Categories of PatienceFive Categories of Patience Patience can also be divided into categories following the five categories of deeds, namely wâjib (obligatory), mandûb (encouraged), mahdhûr (forbidden), makrûh (disliked) and mubâh (permissible). Obligatory (wâjib) patience 1. Patience in abstaining from forbidden (harâm) things and actions,

2. Patience in carrying out obligatory deeds,

3. Patience in facing adversity which is beyond one’s control, such as illness, poverty, etc.

2. Patience in performing acts of worship which are liked and encouraged (mustahabb)

3. Patience in refraining from taking revenge. Forbidden (mahdhûr) patience 1. Patience in abstaining from food and drink until death.

2. Patience in abstaining from eating harâm meat, carrion and blood, when the alternative is death and starvation. Tawus and Ahmad ibn Hanbal said, “Whoever has no choice but to eat carrion, harâm meat and blood, but refuses to eat it and dies as a consequence, will enter Hell.”

3. Patience in refraining from begging. There is a dispute as to whether begging from people is forbidden or permissible. Imam Ahmad said that this kind of patience and abstention is allowed. He was asked, “What if a person fears that if he does not do this, he will die?” Imam Ahmad answered, “No, he will not die. Allâh will send him his due provision (rizq).”Imam Ahmad did not allow begging: when Allâh knows the need of a person and his sincerity in abstaining from begging, Allâh will send him rizq. Other scholars, including some of Imam Ahmad’s companions and Imam ash-Shafi‘î said, “It is obligatory on such a person to beg, and if he did not beg, than he would be a wrongdoer, because by begging he protects himself from death.”

4. Patience in enduring things that may lead to death, such as predators, snakes, fire and water.

5. Patience at times of fitnah when the Muslims are fighting Muslims. Patience in abstaining from fighting at such a time, when Muslims are killing Muslims, is mubâh (permissible), indeed it is mustahabb (liked and preferred). When the Prophet (SAAS) was asked about this, he said, “Be like the better of the two sons of Ādam.” In other, similar reports he said, “Be like the slave of Allâh who was killed, and not like the one who has killed,” and “let him (the killer) carry his own wrong action and your wrong action.” In another report, he said, “If the sword is too bright, put your hand on your face.” Allâh has told us the story of the better of the two sons of Ādam, and how he surrendered himself and did not fight back, and how Allâh commended him for that. This is different to the case when Muslims are fighting kâfirûn: in that situation the Muslim has to defend himself, because the meaning of Jihad is to defend himself and Islâm.

"Allah loves the muttaqee (person with taqwa). Can all of you give your pointers on how to increase our taqwa?"

Possible solution: One should read Qur’an, fast, do good deeds such as help your neighbor, help the needy, do something that will help the cause of truth and justice anywhere etc. These things can raise the level of Taqwa.

Above all, try to think positive as much as possible.

"Then which of the blessings of your Lord will you both ( jinn and men ) deny?"

Back from my short break. I need to take these short breaks from the internet and other media to preserve my sanity.

"Allah loves the muttaqee (person with taqwa). Can all of you give your pointers ...................

I would say we should increase our Ibadah by adding Sunnah acts. For example -we pray five times daily. Before and after the compulsory prayers (Fard) the Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi wa Sallam) prayed some Rakat before of after each Salah.

I already mentioned somewhere in a previous post, an Ayah from the Glorious Qur'an

O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may acquire Taqwa (Surah Al-Baqarah 2: 183)

This Ayah refers to Fasting in the Month of Ramadan, but we can fast other days as well. The Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi wa Sallam) advised us to fast on Mondays and Thursdays or the 3 days in the middle of the Lunar month i.e. 13th. 14th, 15th.

Reciting and studying the Glorious Qur'an and Sunnah. Contemplating on the meanings, asking Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for Jannatul-Firdaus when reading Ayat describing Jannah and seeking HIS Refuge from Hell-fire when reading Ayatdescribing Hell-fire. Try to study everyday even if it means a few Ayah.

I posted in the previous page what i try to do when i am a bit down and that is read Holy Quran with understanding and few other things. You got to read that post for details and alhamdulillah i am still waiting patiently on my other brothers and sisters to share their experiences. So what do you do when you feel a bit off the track?

wassalam

Wa alaikum assalaam sister Fatima.

I also read the Qur'an when I am depressed, preplexed about things in life. I also listen to recitations of the Qur'an in my car when commuting for work. I also have recordings of some of the newer nasheeds, some what are targeted more for the education of children about Islam, and are a fantastic way for the adult believer to get back to basics with a smile.It is like learning arabic, sometimes I play with the basic computer programs that teach the basic words just so I can improve my pronounciation. I use the Dhikr beads t take my mind off bad thoughts. We have so many options! Inshallah, our thoughts should not leave the path!

"Every good deed is charity whether you come to your brother's assistance or just greet him with a smile.

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