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Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Extreme Housewifery

So they reckon that an average housewife is worth over £30,000 if they were paid a professional wage for all the tasks they carry out... Childcare; cleaning; laundry; cooking and grocery shopping all add up if you were to pay an outsider to do these roles. Add to that, the PA role shopping around for car insurance, taking messages; waiting in for deliveries; trips to the dry cleaners and organising holidays...the list is endless.

Well, I say we need danger money too!

Fortunately I haven't been as unlucky as the poor soul who recently died following a freak accident, after tripping over and landing on the knives in the cutlery basket of the open dishwasher. This made my blood run cold when I read about it, and it has convinced me to make sure all my cutlery is pointing downwards in the dishwasher!

Still, this past month, I have managed to:

nearly knock out my front teeth and (I suspect) break my nose after the hose came off the end of the vacuum cleaner and the metal pipe flicked up and whacked me full on in the face. For days on end I'd wake up and rush to the mirror to check my teeth hadn't started going black. My nose still hurts now nearly 4 weeks later.

suffer agony when I accidentally squirted dishwasher rinse aid in my eye whilst opening the sachet. Even after pouring water to flush it out of my eye for about half an hour, I was convinced I was going to go blind.

no sooner had my eye recovered that I suffered a freak laundry accident. Pulling one end of a pair of my tights out of the wash bin, it suddenly came loose flicking back directly into my open eye and whacking me on the eyeball!

Seriously, this housework lark is fraught with danger - be careful out there!

I once was cleaning the windows whilst wearing a pencil skirt, I forgot and stepped off the ladder with one leg and the other leg kinda had to come too, ended up knackering my knee for months afterward. :(

I once burned my face whilst mashing carrots and swede together. I was being very vigorous with the masher- some of the veg flew up, stuck to my face and burned it. It's hard to place your face under cold running water to cool it!