Meme: Alex Rodriguez to appeal suspension, swears he doesn’t use PEDs

Monday will serve simultaneously as Alex Rodriguez’s day of reckoning and his triumphant return to the New York Yankees.

What?

Following years of investigation into whether, when and how often A-Rod used performance-enhancing drugs, Major League Baseball is primed to announce a suspension through the 2014 season for the slugger. He and 12 or so other players have all been linked to the same Biogenesis lab that earned Ryan Braun a 65-game suspension on July 22.

However, CBS is reporting that while the other players implicated will be accepting their 50-game suspensions and sitting out immediately, Rodriguez plans to appeal the length of his.

In a Gamedayr exclusive, we have dug up the legalese A-Rod’s lawyers will be introducing to try to get their client off the hook:

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