Dear Ex: I Am No Longer The Girl You Once Knew

I no longer naively trust you, because now I know your word means shit. I no longer secretly hope that you might show up at my doorstep, having realized what an asshole you were for leaving me, because I know you’re not coming and I know you’re not sorry.

Even if you did knock on my door again, I probably wouldn’t answer. I no longer take chances on a man who took exactly two seconds to decide to dump me and never look back.

Never again will I foolishly blame myself for your mistakes and wrongdoings because now I know it’s most definitely not me. It’s you. It was always you.

See… now I know that I am indeed good enough. Now I know that what I have to offer is substantial, worthy and genuine, and those who make me feel inadequate for it have issues and can go screw themselves. (read: yourself).

There are so many lessons I’ve come to embrace with your departure. First one – I am so much stronger than both of us ever imagined. I am capable of enduring this heartbreak and thriving again. I am smarter with my decisions when it comes to men, and I am oh so much wiser.

The changes I feel within myself since you left me have made me more open to love, to new possibilities and to the way I see myself.

Thank you, my dear, sweet ex. Thank you for teaching me exactly what never to welcome into my life ever again.

Thank you for making me see through all the crap I am never going to tolerate again, and for teaching me how to stand up for myself. I was always such a sucker for love… but not anymore. You made sure of it.

Now, I’ve finally embraced my life for what it is. I have entered the dating pool again, and finally, I no longer compare anyone to you. I no longer wish to see your face across from me at the dinner table, and I no longer crave your voice that is feeding me just what I need to hear.

I don’t push guys away from me anymore because I know I deserve to find somebody who will show me love, kindness and honesty.

You thought you did a real number on me, didn’t you? I hope it kills you to see me prospering and seeking any opportunity I come across to be happy without you. Because that’s exactly what I’m doing. And I love every second of it.

I’m not going to sit here and say I never think about you anymore. I do, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. But the good thing is, with every single day, I feel you vanishing from my mind, little by little, and that is what I find solace in. Slowly, but surely… I am erasing you from my memory. Like you never existed.

Because, let me tell you. I am no longer the girl you once knew. Not by a long shot. I am no longer the girl who puts herself last and loves her man more than she loves herself. No, sir. Now, the priorities have shifted, and I put myself first.

And I like the girl I am becoming. I like my new strength, my newfound power within, and my new and improved outlook on life.

I love how I didn’t let you destroy me for love. I am proud at how brave and strong I’ve stayed, and even though there were some dark times… I am finally rising above them. I am a whole new woman who doesn’t take crap from a weak boy, not anymore.

Your inability to love me the way you should’ve loved me has changed me into the kind of woman who has finally learned to love herself, flaws and all.

And all those years spent with you were nothing but a tough lesson, and without it, I would not have been able to be the woman I am today.

So, the next time you see me, know you didn’t break me. Instead, you’ve turned me into a new woman who loves the shit out of herself, her life, and knows exactly what’s worth fighting for and what isn’t worth her attention.

My life, my story. And from now on, I am the only one in charge of writing it!

Hello everybody! I’m Tara. I have a major in English language and literature, and in my free time i love to sing and write. Kindness is my favorite quality in people. I am all about female empowerment and I’m inspired by all the strong women who have had it rough but managed to stick up for themselves. I love my family and friends, and value them above anyone else. I hope you will enjoy my work, as I hope to inspire all the women out there, with my stories that mostly come from personal experience and of those close to me.