Saturday, November 26, 2016

I was watching “Life In A.. Metro” a movie about many individuals who are facing their own challenges with relationships and happiness bounding to it.

We have two characters in the movie, first is Irrfan Khan – a 38 year old guy frustrated for not getting married who fails to be in criteria of normal guys. Second is Konkana Sen Sharma, she is a 28 year girl-next-door who has her challenges being deprived of hot looks and layers of makeup. Thus misses many guys! Finds a hot guy, dates him to find that he is a gay. Ruining her life in best possible way!!

Irrfan and Konkana meet over a cup of coffee and Konkana rejects him. After few months they coincidentally join the same office and spend time together at a sea shore.

Irrfan ask Konkana as why she rejected him.

Irrfan – What’s the reason you rejected me?

Konkana – Because you were staring at the objectionable part of my body. I didn’t like it.

Irrfan – I am 38 and I haven’t touched any girl, as you are so beautiful with perfect body and you are saying.. and Irrfan continues clearing out the fog. But like Delhi fog it failed to disappear.

Irrfan – I have a friend; he bought a car 5 years back and is still rotting in the garage. He never used it. He said that he is only going to drive car when all signals will be green in the city.

Konkana – That’s dumb guy, unless and until you don’t take out the car how are you going to find out if signal is green or not.

Irrfan - Exactly!! Take your car out. Take your chance.

Most of us don’t take that chance “your chance” of confessing the feelings and letting the person know about it.

Don't ever wait for a perfect person, neither the perfect match!! No one is perfect in the world. Perfect person and perfect match both are relative from person to person. Imperfection brings the lame things that we do, moment we hog our food, moment we slide on the aisle or the moment we spill water makes us laugh. But what if we have the most ideal person, life would be so boring to live. I don't want a perfect life!!

We need to take life more lightly!!

I am almost 25 :D

There are obvious reasons we avoid confessing the next person know about emotions, probably because we are not ready for commitment, fear of missing out best friend, career, past relationships or sometimes just we can’t gather the courage.

But believe me it’s never that hard to express feelings. I have been rejected by few and I have rejected few. But that’s really okay!! And this doesn't mean you can't love again. You have this one life to find the right person, if one says No it’s certainly not the end of the world. Take your time to get stable but don’t let that one person from the past ruin the beautiful future. The future which holds the power of witnessing and working on all the dreams together.

For me on most occassions I have fell for a girl is compatibility - finding things in common!! If she is also into songs I hear, shows I watch, hobbies I pursue then mind and heart automatically starts dreaming of the unlimited things that can be done together.

In my case there is a major problem with me. I often like old music by singers like Gulzar, Kishore Kumar, Jagjit Singh. Loves some sensible bollywood movies like The Lunchbox, Life In a Metro, Stanley Ka Dabba, Swades. Shows I prefer are FRIENDS, Sarabhai vs Sarabhai. Hollywood includes watching multiple times Harry Potter, The Interstellar (and I actually know about all astrophysics part mentioned in Interstellar), Inception, Jurassic Park and possibly all science fiction movies.

I hate Big Boss, music by Yo Yo Honey Singh and Mahesh Bhatt movies – which majority of the population like.

These things make me stand awkward and stupid in-front of normal world. In return I am uncomfortable with many people and I often speak intellectual stuff which many people don’t understand!! And worst of all I can’t flirt and I am hopeless. In short a mixture of Chandler and Ross - a perfect girl repellant :D (FRIENDS fan will understand it).

Easiest and best option that I see in such situation is to consider myself Tea and next person as Coffee, with one common element – Sugar!! :)

Whatever you want to do but never bombard
your feind's timeline with quotes and song lyrics :D :D :D

This sugar leads to communications; this communication leads to multiple meets and this meet to building trust – three essential things for every relationship, friendship to family bonds.

This common sugar leads to endless possibilities of exploring each others, which becomes the connection to each other’s soul. Next person might be having Game of Thrones as favourite series which gives me an opportunity to see it. But what if next person prefer saas-bahu daily soap? :D Fail, sugar is missing and salt can’t go with Tea now!!

And even if we had a bad past experience doesn’t mean we will confront same thing every day. Dumping and betraying is the part and parcel of our journey. If we kept cribbing with past then we have no present or future.

This reminds me of a quote from Kung Fu Panda by Master Oogway – Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is Mystery, Today is a Gift. That’s why it is called PRESENT!!

Not going ahead with the next person because of a horrible past is like you have been to Essel World, first ride was frightening so you skip all others. Or like avoiding SRK’s “DDLJ” (Oct 1995) after watching “Oh Darling! Ye Hain India!” (August 1995). Or losing out scuba diving opportunity in Great Barrier Reef because in childhood you gulped some water down your nostrils.

That huge is what we misses out when we keep ourselves confined to past and are reluctant to explore future.

To get over the fear of everything that you are afraid to do in life there is one scene from movie “We Bought A Zoo”. It states you just need those 20 seconds of insane courage.

In this scene Matt Damon asks guy what's up with Lily. Guy has not told Lily that he likes her so Matt explains - Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just literally 20 seconds of embrassing bravery and I promise to you something great will come of it!!

Screenshots from the comments below this video –

Some failed

Some nailed

I believe life is full of surprises. Stephen Hawking beautifully narrated life –

“We are on a minor planet of a very average star located within the outer limits of one of a hundred thousand million galaxies. Are your problems really significant in light of this?

You walk this Earth for but a short time. Why not become devoted to having only a wonderful experience. Why not dedicate yourself to leaving a powerful legacy to the world? Sit down now and write out a list of all that you have in your life.”

I see many people finding it hard and confused to go ahead and take that leap of faith. Closing quote from Superman movies “Man of Steel!” - Sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust part comes later.

Hope after reading this there will be many people who will be taking that leap of faith and be a superman of their lives. :)

Even if you failed there is no reason to be upset of - keep yourself busy to the core, take up new hobby (I am trying Harmonica and Scuba Diving now), build a skill, volunteer for NGO or best build a company. Just one life and so many things to try.

Nakhre utha iske nakhre utha

Haan dhoop bhi yehi hai

Chaanv bhi yehi hai

Joh bhi yeh kehti hai, tu maan ja

Kho jaana, paa jaana, na paana

Hai zindagi jaan le

Bik jaana, loot jaana, bas jaana

Hai zindagi jaan le

Joh kal gaya woh phir se aata nahin

Ho ho ho guzra hua joh waqt hai

Woh dastak lagata nahin

Kyun zindagi se ho shikva gila

Yeh hasti hai roti hai

Joh bhi hai jaisi hai

Joh bhi yeh deti hai woh hai tera

Kar salaam ... kar salaam!!

- Kar Salam, Life In A Metro ( Pritam, 2007)

All the best with those 20 seconds of courage, do mail me with what happen next!! ;)

Read the below article to know what happens when you get along with wrong partner.