Friday, April 17, 2009

Cross-pollinated food

Some things, like peanut butter and chocolate or mac and cheese, are a match made in epicurean heaven. Then there’s the cheeseburger pizza. Contrary to popular Pillsbury belief, it’s not the best of both worlds. It's neither a cheeseburger nor a pizza. Discuss.

While I can tuck into a tater tot casserole like nobody’s business, certain foods have no business commingling. Pick a lane, taco pie. Stop waffling, Dunkin Donuts waffle sandwich. Pizza and lasagna are beautiful things on their own; why did Rachel Ray have to jump the shark with pizzagna? And McRib, you’re just McWrong. I gotta hand it to McDonalds for having the ’nads to introduce a boneless, seemingly meatless McRib sandwich.

What’s next? Chocolate chicken wings? A sausage-link latte? Tilapia crème brûlée? It’s time to order up a large fist with a side of ire, and rain Pepto-Bismo-laced punches down on these taco-flavored misses.

16 comments:

Bwahaha. Funny, you. And funny you should mention this. We were just discussing that san-bomina-wich the McGriddle last weekend. I'm quite certain no one ever ate one more than once. Pretty sure it tops my list.

Other than that it was an incident I witnessed that still haunts me. In college, I had a roommate who was unexpectedly expecting. I watched her polish off a big hunk of summer sausage...after dipping each bite in chocolate pudding.

I had dinner at the Stinking Rose one night (http://thestinkingrose.com/) with a large group of friends. One of these friends ordered the garlic ice cream. I *had* to try a bite and good lord, that was the nastiest "dessert" I've ever eaten. It was like they were making vanilla ice cream and knocked over a jar of garlic powder into it.

I know a lot of people enjoy a Monte Cristo sammich every now and again, but I have to say that is one of the most vile things I have ever eaten on the planet. Sugar and ham only go together if there is a glaze involved, and never with cheapass preserves. And then they fry it...

I protest! Peanut butter and chocolate together are disgusting. The combination literally makes me vomit. Really, even the stench is gross. I love each by themselves, but together they are the food of satan.

oh no you didn't! i want you to think long and hard missy about how this will reflect on you the next time you stuff your gob at the Portland Waffle Wagon. Huh? don't get me wrong. I'm with you on the McRib - but i have to say your photo of the waffle sandwich makes me hungry. what's wrong with me?

Cupcakes are all the culinary rage now, at least here in Chicago where a half-dozen so-called cupcake boutiques have appeared in the past several months. The current fad is the "sweet-savory" genre, with its signature offering, the chocolate-bacon cupcake! Now, that's just nasty!

I had a friend who loved Funonions (or how ever you spell those things) dipped in vanilla soft serve. But the most discusting purchased items has to be maple flavored sausage. I've made a life out of keeping syrup OFF my sausage. Bleck.

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