DO es it ever get better or is how I am now gonna pretty much be how it stays? When I am tired everything including speech, slur drop gets worse than when I am rested. I am so forgetful and so easily distracted not sure how I am going to go back to work and if I will be able to do everything ok nough to keepmy job. I know its onlt bben a couple weeks but I need to figure out how to support my daughter if this is how its going to be what I need to do?

writeleft

05-05-2012 05:05 PM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

jlh1,

Yes, it DOES get better...but slowly and gradually. My husband often points out things that I never thought I would be able to do again, that suddenly I am doing with ease. As difficult as this can be, the more patience you can have with yourself, the better. As a single parent for so many years, I understand the pressure we can be under to provide for our children.

I can think of a few things that helped me, and I will share them with you, Of course we are all different, so if these things do not appeal to you, perhaps you can think of similar things you might like to replace them with.

Believe it or not, [I][B]writing.[/B][/I]. Once I found this place, and with the great amount of understanding from the others already here, I began to write. The more I wrote, the better I felt. My writing got so much better, and my thoughts began to become more organized and all the feelings I have pent up came right out., I got to the point, I did not hold back, as I trusted the people here to understand me, and what i was trying to do. When I first came, it would take me literally hours to write a several page post. Between thinking what I was trying to figure out what to say, to putting it out on the page, so many steps were required of my brain to make it happen. These steps were so difficult to put together, and the choice of the correct word to use was almost impossible. How things began to change.

I also do a lot of word games online, Scrabble type games..really anything that can help with your hand eye coordination, quick thinking games, anything that appeals to you. With the exception of becoming hooked on games, I have found that a few sessions per day of 20 minutes or so, and I really saw improvement in time. The best is if you can find friends to play with that understand what you are doing. I started off playing scrabble with a friend who is a master at word games. He would slaughter me un-mercifully for years on end, then and day we played and I won! These days I can win about 20 - 30% of the time, but I am really trying with each and every hand.

When you mention how your words her more scrambled when you are tired, I have found that too. When I am overly tired, everything gets worse. YOu simply need more rest, and will for a long time to come, if not always, I am nine years out, and I have had to accept that many things are going to be different forever. There is a lot of self acceptance that you need to allow yourself.

I want to emphasize that things do get better, and when you can accept the fact that you have just survived a brain injury, as that is what a stroke is, We use the word "survivor" for a good reason. We are not sufferers, nor are we victims. We have survived an traumatic event that can take the lives of others who have been struck by stroke. Those of us who survive, are truly blessed to have done so. So are our families and friends. It is up to us to take each day we have to live our lives to our best ability.

A bit about me, I survived 4 strokes while snorkeling in he ocean. I had been experiencing severe headaches for the few days prior, and my blood pressure was very high. I was under a doctor watchful eye and compliant with everything I was asked to do. I was 43 at the time and had my youngest son with me n(he was 9), and my husband to be with me.(We were on an early date. We got married last Sunday, 6 days ago., after 9 years of courting) ha ha...I awoke in the ICU, unable to talk, walk, sit stand or anything. I can remember some things but not too much about that.

To make a long story short, I spent the first 3 years coming back from that, I relearned how to do everything and my time on the HB (here) is what I attribute the majority of my recovery to...my time here. Between that friendships I made, to the information and support I gathered, I was off to the races. With the exception of the last 8 months or so, that I had to take off , due to the loss of both my parents unexpectedly Now I am back, where I belong, as I love this place and what it offers to people like yourself. After nine years, I have found a new person that is me.

I hope you find a similar experience yourself. I can guarantee I will be to help you though, And that goes for the other here too. You really have found a gold mine in the hearts and the minds of the folks here..Feel fre to ask anything, rant and rave. let us help you in t way we can.

I am out the door to a birthday party, writeleft:

ps, I hope i did not repeat myself..Please forgive me if I did.

jlh1

05-06-2012 10:11 AM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

Thank you so much. :) You sound like a very strong and and amazing person. Congrats on your marriage.

writeleft

05-06-2012 03:59 PM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

Yes, the emotions do have a way of going up and down like the stock market! It is all part of it.

One of my families funniest memories about that is the time I was reading the newspaper, and started to cry. They all were very concerned, and asked my what I was reading...

"The president got to sleep in" I said.

There have been so many times that I have just started crying for no reason at all, but it all has to come out, so just let it out. This goes for women and men, who can find it even more of a concern to burst out in tears than us women do. Strokes are hard on the emotions, but it makes sense...we have undergone such a major trauma to our brain.

I am so impressed that you are able to communicate so well and seem to be so on top of your feelings and concerns. Knowing that your mother is close enough to give you some time off from the responsibilities of motherhood is very comforting. Take whatever time you can to just rest..our brains being the amazing things they are will do their best to take care of the rest of the work that needs to be done.

Have a great Sunday...Janet

jlh1

05-06-2012 06:18 PM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

Thank you fos a great story, it made me smile.

writeleft

05-06-2012 07:20 PM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

I can safely say that most all of your new issues are stroke related. I clearly remember how scared I was, not having the advantage of being able to speak with anyone about it made it worse. That is exactly why we come back, to save others from that horrible sense of loss and fear. When our lives take a total change from one moment to the next, how else can we feel?

Each day can be different, and things will come back together the same way...some days you will really have it, some days you wont. It may be your speech, your memory, your ability to organize or to bake a cake. It could be all of those things, or any combination. Over time, things will gradually shift towards becoming better, a bit at a time. It is best not to focus on one thing or the other as being better or worse, it is the whole person that will one day be the new you.

Most of us here tend to think about themselves pre-stroke and post stroke. I never returned to how I was pre stroke, the new me is different in so many ways...more patient, more positive, more at ease with myself, much more appreciative, etc. While the stroke itself did not have as much to do with those things, the act of recovery did.

It was in recovery that I learned so much about myself that I would have never been challenged enough to find out without it.

good day!
janet

jlh1

05-06-2012 09:58 PM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

[QUOTE=writeleft;4975067] It is best not to focus on one thing or the other as being better or worse, it is the whole person that will one day be the new you.

Most of us here tend to think about themselves pre-stroke and post stroke. I never returned to how I was pre stroke, the new me is different in so many ways...more patient, more positive, more at ease with myself, much more appreciative, etc. While the stroke itself did not have as much to do with those things, the act of recovery did.

It was in recovery that I learned so much about myself that I would have never been challenged enough to find out without it.

good day!
janet[/QUOTE]

Thank you, well said and great point.

writeleft

05-07-2012 11:40 AM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

Thanks...You will learn how very strong you are, and once getting through this, you will have the knowledge that you can get through anything. That is the best part in my opinion. Following my strokes, I did go on to have to face the worst situation I could imagine, and was able to get through it knowing how strong I was. Strokes were the catalyst towards a better me. That is what you can expect as well.

Janet

goingtorun

05-08-2012 05:14 AM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

GíDay jlhi,
Hope you and your loved ones are as well as can be. I had a clot in the brain stem on the 18/03/10. I was left with no movement and complete numbness down the right side of my body.
From day one I have a hard time controlling my emotions; I liken them to a roll a coaster. At first my emotions would change from, crying to laughing uncontrollable, faster than the speed of sound. Iíd forget what I had been doing a minute previously.
Over time the control over my emotions has improved, and so slowly getting better. The memory has been on the mend also, Iím starting to recall basic maths, had studied surveying for two years after Iíd finished school. I still search for words whilst talking to people, I know the word but it doesnít seem to come out when I want it, but thatís improving also.
I found hesitating whist speaking most people would finish the sentence off for me, thinking they were helping me. This couldnít be farther from the truth; I soon put a stop to that. Correcting the pronunciation of words I always appreciated, some time you canít hear or realise how your pronouncing certain words.
At first I thought my life was over. A Close friend who was a stroke saviour himself and all the wonderful people at this Place gave me hope, courage and strength to carry on keeping on.
The friend that was a stroke saviour said to me ďdo you like the way you are now, stop trying, and thatís how youíll stay the rest of your lifeĒ.
I hope keep on recovering and keep in touch. Always the very best.
George.

vonbon1

05-08-2012 07:01 AM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

Hi jhl1,:wave: Things take time huni, I know you've probably heard this a lot, but it's true. My partner had a stroke 5 weeks ago, he's done so well physically, his dr and physio etc are all really amazed at how well he's doing.

He gets confused and memory loss when tired. It can be very upsetting. I know he gets upset, bless him he tries not to show it but he goes for a nap in bed whenever he is upset. any other nap he goes for is on the sofa.

You must be very scared with a toddler to look after by yourself, do you have any support? is there any help locally you can take advantage of?
Writing things down is a very good idea.

Keep reminding yourself of how well you have done so far.
Bless you, this is very difficult for you I know but you will get through it 1 day at a time.

Look into what help is available to you and take as much help as you can.

Take care huni. let us know how you get on.
love n hugs Vonbon1 x

Positive Cynic

05-09-2012 09:51 AM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

Hello jhl1!
Tim here :) I wanted to say a personal thank you from me to you. I was so moved that you commented on my problem and you are a newbie and don't know me at all. So I want to try and help you and give you some hope and some positive vibes.

I totally 100% how you feel as every one else here does too. So first of all you are not alone. You see, to me you are amazing. If you are only a few weeks from your stroke and already found this forum and are engaging with others, you are already on your way to recovery my friend :D

You are a strong, intelligent, and loving woman to do this by yourself with a child. I have much respect for you. Yes it will get better I promise you that. If it doesn't get better, you can sue me ha ha!!

Just so you know, real quick, for me --- after my stroke. I could not even read or write. I had to re-learn myself. And yes 2 1/2 years later I still don't talk very well. Every time I meet some one, I first tell them I had a stroke just so they know I am not stupid. Yet they still talk over me and finish my sentences for me. Very frustrating huh? I am probably smarter than the person I am talking to ;)

Let me tell you about emotions. I understand it is confusing for you. but remember. Your brain is altered. Whatever area in your brain had a stroke is dead and will not come back (like a cut finger or something) So it is re-wiring itself around the dead spot so you can function better again, but you will be a different person than you were --- BUT A BETTER PERSON!!!
That is why your emotions are all over the place because your brain is all over the place right now fixing itself.

So don't hold your emotions back, it will only hold you back. Just go with the flow and it will stop once your brain is done re-wiring. Let me tell you what happened to me. It was 2 months after my stroke and I started to cry - not just crying, but weeping. Anything would set me off. A commercial with a dog would do it (ha ha) and forget about trying to watch a movie. Anyway, my wife was getting concerned about me after a couple of days. I told her not to worry, please. I knew in my heart it was something I had to do. It wasn't even emotional, it was more like a reaction. Like a sneeze or something. Did you every try and stop a sneeze??? So she trusted me a let me go. I literally wept everyday for a month straight and one day it just stopped. Just like that. boom - gone.

I am not saying that will happen to you. Each stroke is different, but we all have connects also that are similar. Anyway remember you are a stroke survivor.

God Bless you my friend,
Tim :)

jlh1

05-13-2012 11:16 PM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

Thank you everyone, I think being dependant on other people is the hardest part.

writeleft

05-14-2012 02:35 AM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

Recovery from a stroke is serious business, and please do not feel any sort of failure for having to take time away from work to do so. So many of us will never work again in our lives, so taking some time off is completely expected.

We all do understand how difficult it is going from being completely self driven, self sufficient and in total control of your entire life, then reduced to an almost childlike state in just minutes. You will always be that same person, you just have to relearn how to do things differently, and some of those things may require the help of others, or doing things more slowly or awkwardly at first. Keep in mind that first you are a survivor, not a victim. Survivors will always find their was through to the other side. It is easy to forget how was all learned all of the things we do wilthout effort at some point in our lives, untili they become second nature. Now those same things have become cumbersome and have to be done differently.

The best thing you can do for yourself, is to look at the new you with a bit of humor and lots of patience. Just as you cannot fault your baby for not knowing how to do many things, one day she will be able to, and you can enjoy her path towards her independence too. I still laugh at myself when I catch myself mixing my words up, or doing some silly thing out of the blue.

I would not rush your way back to work. Use this time to really work on your recovery. it is not something you can rush along. Doing so can lead to lots of frustration and even expose you to possible accidents if you are not able to fully concentrate, or even failure if you go back too soon and cannot properly handle your job.

The walking sounds great , just make sure you start slowly and do not let yourself get to far away without being sure you can make it home safely. It is funny to hear myslef sounding like a very cautious old lady or something, which is far from the truth. I just happened to have some experiences with going out too far for too long that turned out to be very scary and painful in the end.

For example, the firs time I went shopping by myself, I fainted in the checkout line because I overheated while loading up my cart. my hair got caught in all the gum and candy racks, and they has to get the meat man from the back to drag me back up to my feet. then I had to sit in an electric cart until my mother could come pick me and all my groceries up. How embarrassing, and not to mention, half my hair got pulled out from that wire rack. I just could not wait for someone to go with me...

Just a little anecdote to make you laugh, I will be watching for you next post.

janet

Alberta1967

05-14-2012 06:56 AM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

you need to take it easy for the time being. It takes time to heal. Only a couple of weeks is not long at all. I am 71/2 years post stroke.I was 37 at the time. I still get tired & confused. My daughter was just 51/2 months old at the time. My youngest son was just 22 months old. I also have 2 older kids. You might need to apply for SSI.I would love to go back to workBut I can't.

jlh1

05-14-2012 07:19 AM

Re: question about confusion and short term memory?

I have realized I may not be able to go back to work, while its scary I decided not to think about it for a couple more weeks at least.

And yes humor helps a lot, my mother had made elk spegetti yesterday (one of my faorites) I was tyexing my daughters dad he asked what we had for dinner and I told him Elk Cookies (Yuck)! not sure where that came from but it was one of the betterones. :)