Rand Paul begins top secret investigation into imaginary IRS memo

20May

According to news reports, Republican Tea Party (GOTP) Senator Rand Paul (KY) has claimed the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) had a “written policy” saying agency officials were “targeting people who were opposed to the president.”

“And when that comes forward, we need to know who wrote the policy and who approved the policy,” the Senator told CNN.

When asked for details, the junior Kentucky senator revealed he actually had no evidence of this memo, and he’d only “heard” about it. Of course, I’m not sure the voices in your head actually count in Congressional hearings as evidence or even leads.

“Well, we keep hearing the reports and we have several specifically worded items saying who was being targeted. In fact, one of the bullet points says those who are critical of the president,” Paul said. “So I don’t know if that comes from a policy, but that’s what’s being reported in the press and reported orally. I haven’t seen a policy statement, but I think we need to see that.”

The Senator’s Brain Captain later confirmed Paul’s been conducting a very hush-hush “in depth” investigation with the White Rabbit and Godzilla, and that they’re going to get to the bottom of all this.

With all due respect the very junior Senator from Kentucky is an idiot who’s trying to make a name for himself with the uber-right to position himself for 2016; please run Senator Rand, please run.