At the intersection of leadership, learning, and human behavior ~ John E. Smith

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“Perfectly Perfect Imperfections” …

“Perfect Imperfections” … sounds like part of one of those lists of oxymorons, like jumbo shrimp, deafening silence, or military intelligence. Two words that seem to cancel each other out or are opposites. The phrase does not seem to make sense.

Some folks spend a great deal of time trying to make perfection … especially during the holiday season, when our vague and often incorrect memories of childhood happiness demand of us that we create the same idealized memories for those we love.

You know … the perfect tree, the perfect gifts, the perfect holiday sequence.

We set standards for our own behavior that would challenge a saint.

We expect to always be right about things, ahead of the game, and in the lead.

We do not accept failure, even partial failure, as inevitable, but view it as unacceptable.

In other words, people who seek perfection are often mentally unstable.

Mental instability comes when one’s behavior and thoughts are at odds with reality to a degree that affects their lives.

When we set up goals for ourselves that are literally unreachable, we set ourselves up for disappointment at best and almost always for depression.

When we expect to always win completely, we do not know how to lose effectively.

When we view losing as unacceptable, but still lose, we have painted ourselves into a proverbial and emotional corner.

I wish I could go so far as to claim that perfectionists are psychotic, but let’s reserve that title for those who are truly mentally disturbed. This is not about deep neuroses or psychoses, but about living our lives in a more effective way.

Perfect Imperfections is both the title of a song (see link below) and a great image for our consideration. It’s a useful concept that tells us things need not be perfect (as we imagine) to truly be perfect (as we accept and enjoy).

I would guess that 99.9% of successful marriages, business partnerships, and long-term friendships are based, at least tacitly, on this idea.

What or who comes to mind as you reflect on the phrase “Perfect Imperfections”?

How have you or will you come to peace with your own “Perfect Imperfections”?

Why does all this matter?

Entertaining pleasant thoughts of the loveable imperfections of the person with whom I have shared the best moments of my life in the Heartland ….