THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Mrs. Cranky's Schwinn

THE SCHWINN

Twenty-two
years ago my wife got a brand new ten speed Schwinn for her birthday.Mrs. Cranky is not a bike rider, her husband
was, and he obviously hoped she would join in his hobby.It didn’t happen.The bike went in the garage and was never ridden…never…ever.

Recently
Mrs. C’s ex sold his house.He had no
room to store the Schwinn and so Mrs. C brought it to our townhouse.

“What the hell do you want with that,
you’ll never ride it?”

“Casey (step-crank) says old Schwinn’s are worth a lot.”

“If it was made in the USA, yes.That bike was made in Taiwan.”

“Still, it is ‘Brand New!’”

“We don’t have room in our garage; I'll
trip over it every time I use my car!”

“I’m going to sell it!”

Mrs. Cranky
put the bike for sale.She posted a
flyer by our community mail pick-up.She
was asking $65.

“Sixty-five dollars?You can buy a brand new bike at Target for
$65.”

“Not a Schwinn.”

“A Schwinn that is 22 years old.”

The asking
price stayed.I wanted to list it for
$30 and sell it for $20, just to get rid of it.I hate selling stuff to strangers.I hate haggling over a price.I
hate how the buyer picks on every little flaw and tries to drive down the
price.I just hate the used item resell
dance.

We got a call;
someone was interested in the bike.

“They are coming over in an hour,
could you straighten out the handle bars and blow up the tires.”

I went to
the garage to clean up the bike and got a good look at it for the first
time.The bike was 22 years old and did
not have a scratch.It was a perfect
ladies pink, gears and chain still lightly oiled.It was 22 years old and looked like it just
came out of the box.I straightened out
the handlebars, and filled the tires to 50 pounds pressure.

I had to
give it to Mrs. C, the bike was pristine.

“I’ll tell you one thing, you are right
about the price; I refuse to haggle.If
they want to pay anything less than $60, I’ll pay it.I could use that bike to go to the mail box
or WaWa’s.”

“I told you.”

The buyers
came over to see the bike.The wife
wanted to take up riding.They lived in
our townhouse community.Mrs. Buyer took
one look and stepped on it for a trial ride.I told her she looked good on the bike (she looked real good on the
bike.)

Mrs. B rode
down the driveway made a sharp turn and hollered to her husband,

You've done a "community service". No really. Someone is enjoying her new bike, you got a few bucks in your pocket (figuratively speaking, of course) and it's no longer under foot. That was a fair price too.I won't haggle either. There have been times when I've actually "upped" the price after someone tried to haggle. AND THEN I WOULD GET THE NEW PRICE. It's like the Stock Market. Things start to go up in price, and emotions get involved....

SD is obsessed with old bikes at the moment (well, beach buggys really but he cant afford to keep indulging that passion) we have three at the moment in various stages of repair - pretty sure he would have been happy to hand over $75 for Mrs C's.

I have a bike sitting in the back porch, bought with the intention of riding, but the streets here aren't fully flat and I've found I'm unable to ride up even the slightest slope. I'd sell it, but it cost considerably more than what I'd get for it.

I had one from the 1980s and so did my husband. We finally put them in my neighbor's yard during her yard sale. And yes, someone haggled to get both for $25. I didn't care - just wanted them gone. The back doesn't want to bend over that much any more to ride a bike. I think the appeal is the nostalgia.

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About Me

I am 70 years old, I have 4 children 45,42,40 and 18;and 5 grandchildren 13-6
. Divorced twice, married three times. I worked on Wall Street for 40 years after graduating from Lafayette College in 1968. I have turned to writing as since retirement I needed something to tell people "What the F*** I do." Published one book "Maybe It's Just Me!" available at Amazon, soon to release my second, "I Used To Be Stupid."
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