Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. From college campuses to sex toy boutiques she tours the country touting the wonders of anal sex and the overall goodness of sex in all its frisky forms.

You can visit Tristan at her official website, www.PuckerUp.com.

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Last year, I was a guest on a Ricki Lake episode called "Strangers in Our Bed" that tackled, well, talked about, the topic of three-ways. Most of the other guests were guys trying to convince their female partners that Jack Tripper was the luckiest man alive. No big shocker there, since one of the most popular heterosexual male fantasies is to have sex with two women. (Double standard alert: Ask those same men if they'd go for a three-way with their girl and another dude, and they are horrified). There were the typical "No other woman's gonna get her hands on my man!" declarations, along with some ironic moralizing about the sanctity of monogamy. Amid the hoopla, I tried to dispel the myth that all threesomes are disrespectful, disgusting, or dysfunctional. Our culture is so invested in coupling that two is now the only desirable number, associated with stability, intimacy, and faithfulness. But the truth is, some people add a third person to the mix every once in a while to spice things up. Bisexual or bi-curious couples can explore their desires by adding a third party. Polyamorous folks live, love, and lust in committed triads. Amid the titillating tales, I wanted to dispense some honest advice, recommend a few techniques, and caution potential triple dippers on the dos and don'ts of the modern ménage à trois.

To start, check your motives: Don't have a three-way to please your partner or to try to fix or save a relationship. Pick an appropriate third person, someone who's trustworthy and respectful of your relationship. Decide who's off-limits, for example close friends, relatives, and co-workers. Talk about it—you need to be honest about your expectations, fears, and fantasies. Set the ground rules: Ask yourself and each other, what's OK and what's not. It might be blonds, blowjobs, or sleeping over. Make a commitment, reassuring one another that your relationship is primary and important and won't be sacrificed for one wild night with some hot stripper. And, of course, practice safe sex, even if your chosen partner is someone you know.

If Ricki Lake had been on HBO, I would have doled out a second set of tips for those of you who've negotiated all the boundaries: how to make a threesome work now that you're naked and wondering what (or who) to do first. These are the nitty-gritty details—you know, like how to manage a ménage on a double bed, find what positions work best, and coordinate who-does-what-to-whom. In search of helpful techniques, I went to a reliable source: porn. Let's face it, blue movies always make a triple-decker fuck fest look effortless: There's never a hungry orifice left unattended, and it seems like everyone has his or her mouth full and hands busy at all times. I went to see for myself just how they make it look so good.

First, a day on the set of Nina Hartley's Kinky Playhouse, the veteran star's newest line of films for Adam & Eve. The scene I watched featured Steve Hatcher livin' the dream with Nina and petite brunet Dominika, both in crotchless pantyhose-garters and locking stiletto ballet shoes (which they could only crawl around in). It started out very loose, with lots of sucking, licking, and diddling, with all hands on all decks seemingly at once. Steve took turns fucking Dominika in the pussy, then Nina the same way. Nina was definitely coordinating the scene, making it flow smoothly from one act to the next and demonstrating what I'd call an alpha approach, where the most dominant of the three takes charge. The ladies moved from the large platform bed to a narrow but comfy spanking bench, where they bent over facing each other's ass. Steve took them there one at a time, fucking Dominika in one position, then Nina in another, then Dominika in the ass, then Nina in the ass. Very methodical and predictable, which is not to say that he wasn't having a good time. Once the action got going, Steve grunted the multi-syllabic, one-word "Fffffff-uuuuuuuhhhhhhh-kkkk" again and again in this low, gravelly voice so primal and menacing that I swear if you recorded it and played it backward, you'd hear a message from the devil.

Wanting to explore the subject from more than one angle, I headed to the set of performer Gina Lynn's latest film. Blond and boobalicious, Gina has become well-known for getting into some compromising positions with Eminem in his "Superman" video and scoring a role on the upcoming season of The Sopranos. Although I didn't actually read the script (yes, there was one), the story was a loose interpretation of Little Red Riding Hood, with Gina as Red, a delusional girl in a mental hospital. After three hours of dialogue, setups, and no sex (I amused myself by watching the hunky-bordering-on-humongous Lee Stone, who plays Dr. Wolf, attempt to sit comfortably with a fluffy gray tail pinned to the back of him that kept popping up between his legs), I began to get low blood sugar (bad for a three-way, worse for watching one). I left and drove to Subway, where I scarfed down a six-inch tuna on wheat and some Sun Chips.

When I got back, I listened outside, not wanting to traipse in and ruin some stellar footage. I heard the crew talking, so I opened the door. I literally ran right into Gina, who was totally naked, sweating, and panting; she darted past me to the bathroom. Someone said something about her needing her inhaler. When Gina returned refreshed and breathing normally, everyone picked up where they left off. Apparently while I was stuffing my face, two sadistic interns in hospital scrubs and colorful facial prosthetics (one looked like Pinocchio, the other, a satanic clown) had ambushed poor Red. Director Andre Madness yelled "Action!" and Lynn's real-life boyfriend Travis Knight resumed fucking her while she got a mouthful from Trevor Zen. Just for the record, getting fucked by one guy and sucking another guy's dick at the same time is much harder than it looks. It just seems inevitable that the rhythm you establish with one never works at the other end. The boys were having trouble keeping it up during their downtime, so I left before the money shot.

What wisdom did I glean from the porn prophets on threesome sex? Be flexible, both physically (I recommend some practice rounds of Twister) and sexually (don't get married to one activity; be ready to switch to another). Don't stress if you're the odd man out--just work your way back into the action. Wear comfortable shoes. And if you're asthmatic, keep the inhaler nearby.

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We couldn't help noticing the popular couple known as CollegePlayers as they cammed for hundreds of Adult FriendFinder members at a time. We just had to ask them what it was like on the other side of the camera. Here's our interview:

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Adult FriendFinder: What are your main goals on Adult FriendFinder? What kind of interactions are you most interested in?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: Our main goal is to meet friendly, outgoing, explorative (not to mention attractive) couples like ourselves. We originally came on here in hopes of hooking up with a cute single female, and while that desire still stands, we've broadened our perspectives a little. All in all, we're searching for people we can hang out with, and play with when the chemistry's right.

Adult FriendFinder: What experience did you have with web camming before you started your cam on Adult FriendFinder?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: Zach didn't have much camming experience at all, and had only cammed with a few friends before. Feiya, on the other hand, had a rather exhibitionist streak when it came to the camera. She had cammed quite a bit for others in previous times.

Adult FriendFinder: How often are you on?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: With the quarter ending at our college, we've been on only once a week or so, but we like to be on at least a good 2 times a week, more if we're in the mood.

Adult FriendFinder: Have you had a lot of success on the site?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: In terms of finding what we're looking for, the success has been so-so. Our original search to find a cute, single woman to play with went unanswered. We have several couples at the moment that are interested in meeting up, and have met up with one couple already.

Adult FriendFinder: How many people are watching you at any given time?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: On average, we usually have 500-600 when we're actually playing, though that has gone into the 1000 range during the more erotic playtimes.

Adult FriendFinder: Have you found that some times tend to have more cam watchers than other times?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: There's a definite trend towards the night time attracting more people, particularly the male audience, particularly around 1am PST. With couples, they tend to trail off around this point, as most are going to bed for work the next day. Females are somewhat constant, though they often tend to log off around the same time the couples do.

Adult FriendFinder: What kinds of responses do you get from people who watch you? How do people contact you?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: A lot of people compliment us through the paging system, or have requests for us to do something. Sometimes they make comments, like if we sneeze, or ask us what we're eating. Ice cream people get a lot of free advertising. :)

Adult FriendFinder: Has your camming helped you have successful encounters in real time?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: At the moment, we haven't had a lot of success in meeting up, much like we'd described before. The future is looking good though, so we're happy. =)

Adult FriendFinder: Has your camming had any benefits you didn't expect?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: We're getting interviewed by you aren't we? =) *laughs* But seriously, the benefits are the attention. We weren't really sure how many people would watch us, so it was definitely unexpected when we saw 600 people staring at us for hours at a time.

Adult FriendFinder: You said you're really having fun with the cam. And you also said that Adult FriendFinder was the "perfect audience." Why do you like camming, and what do you like most about camming on Adult FriendFinder?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: We like camming because of the sheer fun of showing off our bodies. We enjoy the compliments that people offer, and are somewhat attention whores. The people on Adult FriendFinder are a good audience because we feel that they're interested in watching us no matter what we do, and we don't have to be shy when it comes to actually living our life. If we feel more like cuddling at that moment, the people don't leave in droves. They've watched us watch movies, eat ice cream, fold laundry, study, talk with friends, and the list goes on. They're a loyal crowd, and they're who we enjoy performing for.

Adult FriendFinder: What kind of effect does it have on you when you see there are really a lot of people watching?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: The effect is somewhat titillating really. At first, we were somewhat disbelieving of the numbers. It would be like an entire auditorium of people watching you. Imagine if there were a donation box. ;-) Nowadays, 600 is still impressive but we know they're real, and she especially gets hot knowing so many people are getting that special kind of pleasure.

Adult FriendFinder: Have you learned anything new about camming since you started doing this?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: Sometimes cams can be annoying. When you're sitting there trying to make sweet love and 30 messages come up "FUCK ALREADY", it breaks the mood a little bit. Normally we can shrug it off and laugh, but there's still that side of you that wishes those people could understand what "making love" is. We aren't paid actors, we're people expressing our passion and emotions, and sometimes sharing our daily selves.

Adult FriendFinder: What do you like to see when you watch other people's web cams?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: People being real is one of the most important things. Faces are also a big thing. People who actually seem like they're enjoying showing off and look into the webcam are also nice. Cammers who do the funny requests are really interesting, as you can tell they actually care about the crowd. It also gets really boring when all you see of someone is body parts flailing around and slamming into each other.

Adult FriendFinder: What do you think is the key to running a popular cam show?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: Something with a motive besides just "getting it on." Once again, the people who talk with their friend across the room or play checkers while eating ice cream while rubbing their nipple, those people are someone we'll go back to watch.

Adult FriendFinder: For members who want to watch you, what's the best time to look for you on cam?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: We're usually on around 11pm PST, though that varies sometimes to 12am.

Adult FriendFinder: Is there anything else you'd like to tell Adult FriendFinder members about web camming, or our web cam feature, or your wish list?

COLLEGEPLAYERS: Have fun! If you are just doing it to do it, then find another hobby. We love what we do, and love seeing other people having as much fun. For a wishlist, it'd be awesome if there were a "chatroom." Sometimes audio isn't an option, and holding up signs is starting to eat away at our paper. A chatroom would also let everyone interact with everyone else, possibly making for more ways for people to get to know each other. Otherwise, thanks to everyone that watches us! And thank you for the chance to do this interview.
- Z & F [Collegeplayers]