Monday, May 31, 2010

Along with many others in the world, I had thought that Israel suffered the consequences of terrorism. Now, I wonder.

Are you kidding me?

You land on an aid ship from choppers and start a fight.

The people on the ship attack you with sticks and you respond with guns.

Israel - you have gone mad.

The consequences?

I expect the consequences to be as follows:

1. First Obama, then Hillary will condemn Israel.

2. Then, egged on by Congress and every single Congressional vote they cannot loose, the world's most powerful man will grovel in front of Israel. In case you have ALREADY forgotten, that's what happened last time when they threw eggs at Biden, er, announced a new settlement.

3. A bunch of "Friends of Israel" will publish a full page SOB story ad in the New York Times or Wall Street Journal. We will all be reminded of Hitler - never mind that attacking unarmed people on boats is not much different. (I know, no one reads papers anymore, but this too has happened viz-a-viz, the settlement brouhaha.)

4. In a few days, we will all be more concerned with the "next Idol" or "brainless Chefs cooking tasteless food" on Bravo, or "Ghost Hunters Academy".

Israel's next target - orphanages or seniors' homes?

Meanwhile, we will be biting our nails to see if Israel will bomb a "Home for the Aged" or an orphanage. Obviously, kids and seniors can be very dangerous to Israel's "sovereignty" (yes, that's what we are calling it now) when armed with sticks and stones.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Many of you who have known me for a while have seen me brag about my graduate admissions help group "gre-success". Started nine years ago, this group has come to be a great source of learning and joy for me. We have found several volunteers, some of whom have come and gone, and many who have stayed.

If you are looking at graduate studies, or know of someone, tell them of us. If you simply want to enter into spirited discussions on the English language and it's usage (since we discuss GRE, TOEFL, other standardized tests and the oddities associated with the language skills tested...), join us!

We have provided students with suggestions on the tests, the application processes, and the schools they apply to. Where necessary, we have warned students of pitfalls, and we are always looking to improve our services.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Now I am not Erle Stanley Gardner (and thus he slumbers peacefully in his grave). If I were, I would have quaintly called it "The Case of the Runaway Emu". Yet, I wonder how many people that title would attract.

If I was Wordsworth (a whole bunch of British people would be pissed that Indians are NOW stealing poetry!), title would read, "Posting garbage about emus on a sunny day in May"

Secretly though, I think the blog title should read: How to take a very simple story and make a blog post out if it. Anyway, enough of that...

On to the aviary. Apparently an emu decided that he/she should pull an "I, Robot" and hit the road. I am sorry, but we humans are not ready to give birds freedom.

What a chicken, I mean emu! If you really wanted to take off, you should have taken, er, flight..(just remembered they can't do that, failing biology doesn't really help, sigh!)

Now, if the emu had Indian parents...they would have said: "Fly damn it. Look at the pigeons. Even the crows do it. You run fast and flap. Flap! Oh, why is God doing this to me...!" I am telling you, even the dead emus would fly!

So how many people from South Carolina does it take?

To answer the 64 Euro (whose value has no bottom) question, it takes, er 50 people. You know, it doesn't help Southern Pride much, given this cornucopia of urban bird chasers included the police and animal control folks.

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed. Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Yahoo! is one hell of a meandering giant that has no reason to exist and yet, it continues to do so. And when it comes to the choice of their CEOs, while you would say that logic dictates that they "never get it right", from an entertainment stand point of view, they make the best choices!

Apparently, the BBC has taken to interviewing completely ineffective CEOs from the technology world. You would think that these people would look themselves in the mirror hanging in the BBC restroom, and tell themselves, "It's only a few minutes, just keep it simple and don't do anything stupid. This way Steve Job's childish tantrums will be mostly what gets covered."

Hmm, well, I don't know if there are no mirrors in the restrooms at BBC or not, or what new plastics worth smoking have emerged, but Yahoo!'s CEO Bartz felt compelled to sit down and talk about, er, Google's problems. Yes, you heard me right - I ain't the one smokin' stuff baby. What with all the crazies around us, why bother..

Why not, right?

You may be surprised and ask why Yahoo!'s CEO would dare speak about Google. I defy you sir, indeed, I dare you - why not?

Look at it this way. If you have been the CEO of Autodesk and have done a cool job of running the organization to the ground, your next stop would be to exercise these muscles would be Yahoo!, right?

That must have been the logic, when Yahoo! chose to replace the wizard of Silicon Valley, Jerry Yang ("WHAT", you say, have you been reading the news, I ask) with Bartz.

Actually, when Yahoo! went begging for people to take the job, word on the street is - not even the marginally bad ones wanted it.

After Jerry Yang's success at keeping Microsoft at bay, at the cost of all those grannies' pensions, of course, Bartz can take Yahoo! DOWN a new path.

If there was any reason for her to hold back on the "advice giving brouhaha", the fact that she has become one of the highest paid CEOs (yes, that's right, pay for "performance" be damned to hell and back), she has no fear.

Apparently, Google is only famous for search. Now Google is just as evil as everyone out there and needs no defending. Plus, it makes truck loads of money advertising on all the free tools I use.

Yet, you've got to be so disconnected from reality to be talking about Google's "problems". First of all, they are all oh so phantom...secondly, lady, just do something, anything to shore up Yahoo!

All that increase in revenue? Yeah, that's from the fall in revenue.

When was the last time anyone used Yahoo! for search? Or Bing? 50% of the business my pink tushy! Apparently, search is 50% of Yahoo!'s business. And the other 50%?

I know Sarah Palin used Yahoo! Mail for official state business and got someone else convicted, but other than that....
The next step?

It is obvious isn't it? In California, we have a tradition. If you have managed to turn your company's stock price into pulp, then you have two directions to go down:

1. The U.S. Senate - just look at the aspirations of Carly Fiona!

2. California's Governorship - Ah, to imagine that Meg Whitman wishes to do to California what she did to eBay....and one sits here thinking how could thinks get worse in CA?

Why not, right? If Yahoo! can give you bags of money ($47 million to be precise) for a year's worth of predicting Google's problems, I really have nothing more to say. The jaws stopped drawing long ago...

One thing is certain. At a minimum, this has reminded us Yahoo! still exists...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?