When Frugal Goes Too Far

Not too long ago, I was getting ready to check out at Aldi and noticed they had their beautiful floral bouquets on sale for half price. Since Aldi typically sells their floral bouquets for $3.99, they were marked down to $1.99 each and they still looked amazing!

I love fresh flowers and I love a great deal, so I was excited! However, as I walked over to pick one up and put it in my cart, I felt a twinge of guilt. Immediately, I started questioning whether or not I should buy the flowers. Yes, they were on sale for $1.99, but I don’t have a fresh flower budget category (!) and the money would have to come out of our grocery budget for the week.

Back and forth the arguments went in my head: Should I really use our grocery money to buy flowers? I shouldn’t spend that $1.99 on me–especially on something that’s just going to look pretty for a few days and then die. But $1.99 is a great deal and they will really brighten our kitchen table.

I picked up the flowers and then put them back three times. I was so conflicted about what I should do.

Finally, after a few minutes of standing there having my mind play tug-o-war, I snapped back into reality and realized how crazy I was being (and how ridiculous I must look to other people passing by!)

Yes, it’s a good thing to carefully examine every purchase. Yes, it’s a good thing to make sure anything you’re purchasing is a good deal and that it’s something you can afford.

For me to stand in the Aldi check out lane, though, and spend close to five minutes waffling over whether or not I should spend $1.99 on beautiful flowers is not only wasting time and energy, it’s taking frugal too far.

Frugality is not about living a miserable and bland existence, it’s about being wise stewards of our money so that we have more to save, give, and yes, spend on the occasional splurge. As long as you have the money in your budget, it’s okay to buy things on occasion just because.

In fact, if I can’t justify the occasional splurge for something that will bring beauty into my life, then I’m probably bordering on becoming a tightwad.

So, armed with fresh resolve (and the realization that we had plenty of wiggle room in our grocery budget), I picked up the flowers, purchased them, and guiltlessly enjoyed their beauty for the rest of the week.

Have you ever taken frugal too far? I’d love to hear your stories and how you’ve worked to find a healthful balance between living a frugal life, but also allowing yourself enough breathing room to enjoy life, too!

Comments

Being frugal can become a stronghold in your life and make you believe it all depends on YOU and how much YOU can save with each trip. It can become an addiction like any other. We are not to be addicted to anything other than Christ. When we carry frugal too far we are telling God that we do not trust Him to provide but that we have to have it all figured out to the last penny ourselves. Not that being a good steward is a bad thing, but sometimes we don’t allow God to come through for us because we already did it ourselves. He is strong only in our weakness. If we are strong we don’t need Him. He desires for us to have good things. He desires for us to have those good things NOW not just in the future. An abundant life does not mean only an abundant retirement. The other question is could you buy those flowers (or whatever) after analyzing it and deciding it would make you happy, then give them to the check out girl because she is having a bad day? Could you trust God to have something even better waiting for you?

That made me laugh out loud. I could totally picture myself doing that. I was at a consignment store and found a shirt with tags on it that I loved the color of for $3 and I stood there for like 10 minutes looking at that shirt, looking at other stuff, looking at that shirt. AND didn’t buy it! For Crypes Sake. It was $3 (and I have a Clothing Budget, AND I have mad money every month- neither of which I spend very often if you couldn’t tell)

I’m rather glad to hear you buy yourself flowers. I’ve followed your blog for over a year now, and I’ve noticed in a lot of your photos you have different flowers on your kitchen table. And more than once I’ve thought, “My husband doesn’t buy me flowers every week like Crystal’s does. What am I doing wrong?”

Very frustrating about the coupon-can totally relate although yes, it’s not the end of the world. Just a note though, be sure to take your receipt and coupon back to the store the next time you’re in. They’ll usually give you the $1 (or whatever the coupon value). I went last week to Target with 2 different receipts & coupons I forgot. One was for $2 off vitamins (still valid) that I purchased before Christmas, the other was a $5 Target coupon that expired Christmas eve that I meant to use on a t.v. we purchased there in December. They reimbursed me for both–Target even!

Similar story,
I gave the coupons to my husband to keep while we were shopping and he lost ALL of them before we got up to the register. I was so MAD and unfortunately it caused a huge fight.
I have learned that if it is going to cause contention it is not worth it.

I did the exact same thing last Saturday in Aldi AND I didn’t buy the flowers. It wasn’t such a struggle though. It was more like, “Oh, nice flowers and THAT cheap. Anh, I don’t really need flowers.” Now after reading this, I sort of wish I had bought them.

Not my story, but I always remind myself of Hetty Green when I am making a decision to spend or not spend and why or why not. She had quite enough money and let her own child suffer as a result of her frugality. THIS is the epitome of taking frugality too far! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hetty_Green

Thank you for sharing this! I agree that if you have room in your budget, it’s well worth it splurge on a little something (or a big something!) here and there. We’re saving up our money right now for a second a laptop and a Vitamix, but when I tell people we’re planning to spend $400 on a blender, they think we’re nuts! Just this past weekend, we pick up Doritos and soda (junk food is something we never, ever buy) and enjoyed our junky food while enjoying a family movie night. It was so much fun!

I was taking frugality too far when, after a recent budget meeting with my husband, I got all worried and concerned about our budget. It’s tight, because he’s going through grad school debt-free. I failed to a) trust the LORD to provide for us, as He always has and b) to thank God for the my husband’s opportunity to be here at school. Finally, I completely lost perspective– our budget is very tight because we’re going through grad school, debt-free, with the intention of graduating with a 6 months emergency fund in place. I was getting worried and taking out my worry on my husband over the possiblility, not of going into debt, but of dipping into that emergency fund if we have an emergency that causes us to go over budget. That’s completely the wrong perspective. I’m learning that thankfulness is the key to contentment, to peace, to joy in the abundance I’ve been given.

I’ve had personal meltdowns about this exact same thing. We are both going through grad school debt-free, so there is VERY little left to go around at the end of the month. I’ve found myself getting so caught up in how little we have that I overlook the fact that we won’t have that debt in the future- not to mention how fortunate we are to have the ability to do so!

Luckily, that man can always pull me back down to earth. He even makes me splurge on myself every now and then when I worry too much about the cost of something!

I do that tug of war all the time. My hubby thinks I’m silly, but then again he is not good with money. Sometimes I want things because they will make me or my family happy. Other times I say I don’t really need that item but I want it. I think if you want a bouquet of flowers is one thing. Some ladies want coach purses for over 300 or however much they go for.
I know I can get cheap fruits n veggies at my reg. grocery store but I love organic fruits n veggies from whole foods. I feel they look and taste better. So I splurge every now and then.

Thanks for your post- great reminder. Yes, I have taken frugality too far- I was on a trip away from my husband and he texted me, I groaned because we didn’t have a text plan and it would cost us for me to read his text. My friend, who was on the trip with me, said, “How much does it cost to read his text”? “25 cents!” I answered. “That’s it? Just 25 cents? That’s not much when it comes to investing in your marriage.” Ahh, yes, enter conviction. I still struggle with being too frugal at times- but this lesson was a great reminder to see the big picture ! My husband is so valuable to me, how could I have been so crazy?
P.S. We do have a big texting plan now and enjoy growing in our love via our text messages, it has deepened our relationship in many ways.

I love this!! There was a period of time in my life when I felt guilty for buying pasta because I could make it so much more inexpensively. We frugal moms do have a tendency to turn into misers and I am so glad that you are showing others how easily it can happen!!

I actually cried when I admitted to my husband that I waited the entire month of November to buy an orange to try a new cranberry orange bread that I really wanted. How come I can’t spend a $1 on an orange when we have the money in the budget. Something about knowing they would be $1.49 for 5lbs. in a couple weeks kept me from enjoying the beauty creating something new for my family. It is always good to be reminded that enjoying Gods creation and good gifts is worship!

Oh so funny and so true. Loved this post – I’m not alone! I did something very similar, but with the family in tow. We stopped at the store for a few items, when my son notices an item that will go great with dinner. I stop and say in a half panic – “Oh NO, I don’t think we have a coupon for that”! as I begin to riffle thru my little coupon keeper. They all looked at me like I had two heads and that’s when I realized I had gone over the edge. We had a good laugh and got the item. Now when I make a quick run to the store or splurge and rent a movie I hear from my family “Do you have a coupon for that!”.

I was guilty of this today. I met with my husband in the JCPenney parking lot to give him something he left at home that he needed for work. I had a baby a month ago and only have a few somewhat maternity dresses in my closet. There’s a wedding on Saturday and I’ve already lost some of the baby weight but asked him, “should I go in there and buy me a new dress or just wear one of the ones I wore when I was pregnant to save money?” I never even felt good in those other dresses and wasn’t that thrilled about going to the wedding in them. He told me that I needed to get in there and buy me a nice dress that fits and looks nice on me (thanks, hubby!) So that’s exactly what I did. Now I am actually very excited to go to the wedding because I have something that I know I will feel good and look good in! It took me a while though to decide that it was ok to buy a new dress for a special occasion. It matches hubby’s Air Force uniform that he will be wearing too–he’s in the wedding!

My poor husband normally suffers when I’m being too frugal. A few months ago, I realized he went through his deoderent stockpile and was on his last stick. He only uses Axe and, as a “seasoned couponer,” I know when Axe coupons come out. Every time we went to the store he would always ask if he could buy a new stick but I would always talk him into waiting a few weeks for a better deal. It’s crazy… when you’re waiting for Axe to go on sale, it NEVER does. A few weeks turned into 2 months, but I finally found a deal and bought him a few sticks.

He didn’t tell me at the time, but he had run out of deoderent during my search for the perfect deal, and he ended up getting into the donation box that I was going to give to our local homeless shelter. It wasn’t his brand and was powder instead of clear. My heart melted when I realized that he decided to use what was in the house while I waited for a deal.

What did I learn from this? We will NEVER be without the few things that the husband asks for again! I sure do love him!

We’ve had this exact same situation except with a very specific type of Old Spice. 🙂 I never see deals for it! So I just get it anyway…I figure if it’s one of the only things I’m paying “full price” for we can handle it, and he has cheerfully compromised on everything else!

Awww…I understand. I was like that with my husband when I first discovered the joy of free deodorant. He wasn’t too brand loyal so that worked out, but he did look a little skeptical at first. What my family really missed was snack food. My kids had gotten used to having Goldfish crackers as snacks, but there were no longer sales and coupons so I waited. They were down to saltine crackers and cereal so one day I did a money making deal at CVS and put it into snacks. It made them all so very happy. I realized that it’s okay to give them treats they enjoy even if they’re not free. It makes them happy. I was lucky and got free fruit snacks, used some ECBs on chips, and bought a big, cheap bag of animal crackers at Wal-Mart. Having these junky snacks (in moderation) makes my guys happy and that really is more important to me than saving a few bucks – and literally, it only cost me a few bucks. 🙂

Ha-ha-ha! You made my day. Thought I was the only one who did this sort of thing by accident to their husbands. We’re in the coupon/sale waiting game for deodorant for him right now, & he’s almost out. Last time this happened (maybe a year or 2 ago), he ended up using mine for a little while. Totally irked me to have to spend crazy full price on it eventually, but it made his life easier (& less feminine), & so well worth it!

Oh my goodness, I am SO glad to know I’m not the only one who does the pick-it-up, put-it-down dance. I always feel ridiculous yet I have trouble stopping myself from overanalyzing every last purchase, always feeling like I could be doing better. Yet another reason why my husband is good for me – he reminds me that if we have the wiggle room in the budget and aren’t being irresponsible, it’s okay and good to enjoy a little something extra now and then.

Oh, this is truly what I needed to hear today…my husband was just gently reminding me of the same a few days ago. I’m guilty for taking frugality too far, particularly when it comes to something I would enjoy, but there’s no need for it.

this has generated quite a few discussions and comments! there are times when i would have sworn i saw something i could do a price match on and i would root through my ads at the store and take up my time and i would feel myself begin to stress about it. ‘what if i could find that price match, i would save 25 cents! now, i typically just let it go. my time is worth something and thankfully 25 cents or even 5 bucks isn’t going to break the budget! but saving 5 bucks over 4 shopping trips equals 20 bucks and that is almost a weeks worth of groceries….here i go again! 🙂

I forgot a $1 off coupon when I went shopping today and started to stress about it as it threw off my whole shopping scenario. I reminded myself I am still saving a lot of money on things I need and use and was able to let it go for the most part. I did look at my reciept a few times and told myself, really I could have paid $7.54 instead of $8.54 after the rebate, the $10 Register Reward, and two gas cards I purchased. I still saved over $80.00, which was pretty sweet. lol. You’re right though, you don’t want to make it a weekly thing.

I’m glad you got the flowers. I’ll bet they brightened your table and made you smile. I think this has more to do with being too frugal with YOURSELF rather than too frugal in general. I suspect if you were buying for someone else, you wouldn’t have hesitated. I often find it hard to treat myself and find I’m more careful about spending money on me than on someone else (spouse, child, friend, etc.) so, good for you for getting them. 🙂

Okay, here is where I almost went off the deep end: I saw a show where a lady cut up rags to use instead of toilet paper and had a basket for the used rags; she washed them when the basket got full. In a fit of frugality induced dementia, I cut up rags and proudly showed them to my husband and explained our new economizing measure. He looked at me and said, “The only time a rag is going near my butt after I go to the toilet is when I am senile and in a nursing home and have no choice. I love you like crazy but I guess I don’t love you this much.” It brought me to my senses.

Ohmigosh! That is the funniest thing I have heard in a while :). I guess I am laughing so hard because that sounds like some crazy idea I would put to my family as well. Thank goodness our husbands keep us sane, right? !!

So funny. I was headed in that direction. I was trying to save money by making EVERYTHING from scratch and was considering making my own pads. Luckily, I found coupons! Whew, it was close. lol. I did do cloth diapering out of old swaddling blankets when I was off for the summer and it wasn’t so bad. and did save me a lot of money. I don’t have time for that now that I’m working. I wouldn’t want to use rags for tp though.

I just had to read your comment to a co-worker, it was so hysterical! My husband would have said something very similar if I ever suggested using rags to wipe our butts!! BTW, we saw that same episode of Extreme Cheapskates (I think?), and we cracked up the whole time they showed those people.

I almost went too far when I spotted some old pacifiers on the ground that must have slipped out of someone’s diaper bag. They were the exact type my baby loves and I was tempted to take them home and boil them.

Also wanted to add that even Oprah does this dance. She said on her show one time she was in a store trying to decide between two items, one being $10 cheaper than the other. BAck and forth she went, trying to decide. Finally, she came to her senses and just got both!

So, I figure if Oprah is conflicted (her bank account is larger than mine, lol!) then it is okay for the rest of us to be similarly conflicted. GReat topic! Thanks for all the funny stories you have all shared. Got my giggles today for sure :).

Love this post!!! So true. We don’t celebrate Valintines day like most. It’s a normal day to us… I used to be sad… but My hubby brings flowers home other times of the year he doesn’t need some one to tell him what day to do that. It’s way better this way.

I had to chuckle when I read your post Crystal and what others above have written. I’m 64 and have been using coupons for over 40 years. When I quit my day job, by co-workers put a money branch in a 3 lb empty coffee can with coupons glued all over the can 🙂 Anyway, YES, I have waffled …even to this day, at times I struggle. Sometimes we need to say, “it’s ok” and then go ahead and purchase the item… even without a coupon and DON’T FEEL GUILTY IF YOU DO PURCHASE IT W’OUT A COUPON!!!

I invested in wildflowers seeds and snow crocus bulbs (my first year for the bulbs) on sale so I can have flowers, on a good year, from March through October. My sister wanted to send me flowers for my birthday last year but I had so many “bouquets” blooming outside, I did not want her to spend the money. It has really been worth it. We used to buy flowers once a week (a gift from my husband to me) when they were around $2.50-$3.00 for the cheapest bouquets I could find at the store. Every time I pass by them now and see the $5-$6 pricetag, I’m so glad we spent money on something we will get to enjoy for much longer than a week. I wish I could paste a photo in here to show you!

Kroger always has carnations for $4.00 a bunch or sometimes marked down to $1.99. Purple, red, yellow, white, etc. I buy a bunch, put them in a beautiful vase with water and a tablespoon of bleach. Sit them on my desk at home and they last 2 weeks. They give me joy everytime I look at them. Priceless.

HAHAHA!!!! That was me today! Love it! I was by myself and I decided to run into Ikea after a WalMart stop for two hothogs for lunch. I spent a whole dollar but I really, really wanted a yogurt which was another dollar……I got the yogurt! It was YUMMY!

This reminds me of the other day when I had received my free pizza from Papa John’s coin toss, which included a free 2 liter pepsi. When I checked out, I owed them .10 for California CRV. It made me more upset than I should have been. Now that’s acting nuts!

Buying cheap to “save money” almost never works out for household goods I’m finding. Yeah, you can save not buying the expensive blender, but if you have to buy a new blender for $30 every year, or one good quality one for $100 that will last 5-10 years, you’re not saving money buying the cheaper one. Researching brands helps a lot with this too. Sometimes the cheapest *is* the best option, but I never assume so anymore! (Finding an awesome blender at a thrift store or garage sale would be the best scenario of course, but you all get what I mean!)

We homeschool & I’ve also found that refusing to spend money on schooling isn’t always the best way to go. Yes, theoretically I can homeschool our 3 kids for free — using the library, free websites, etc, but over the years I’ve found that those resources often aren’t enough, don’t have the programs or books we need, etc.

So I do buy school books for our girls. I compare new prices online, browse the used curriculum sites, joined Paperback Swap, shop at library book sales, and whatever else to save money, but in the end our children’s education is worth spending a little money on.

Our oldest is about to finish several of the workbooks she’s using and needs the next level. They’re not something I can usually find used. I will shop for the best price, buy them new, and not be regretful.

Plus, I know we’re saving literally thousands of $$$ a year not paying for the local private school (our public school district is quite bad), so in the end homeschooling, even when you factor in frugally buying materials and outside classes, is really makes the best economic sense. =-)

When I was pregnant I would go back and forth over whether to eat french fries! I splurged on them many times and they are not even good for you but I can say it was definitely worth it to turn around and go back when a block passed I realized I just could not make it without any! French fries were my life saver for never ending car nausea and hunger. No wonder my babies love them! I really do feel bad for setting such a bad example and getting them in the habit and spending the money. All I can say was I was pregnant and I have a sweet husband who always was willing to get them for me when we were out! (Good thing we live 30 minutes from town or I might have sent him out at all hours of the day or night every day. I could not justify 30 minutes each way for a craving!)

I had a long period of time where I would only buy clothes at the thrift store for 50 cents or less. (We have a store where all clothes are $1, and they are often running 50 or 75% off sales.) But I always felt crummy about the way I looked. So now I’ve upgraded to buying clothes from the Goodwill in the nice section of town, and I feel so much better having clothes that look good, are free of stains, and in style even though I have to pay $5 per item.

Sadly, I have deprived myself of too much. The saddest time comes from when I went to a famous restaurant with my boyfriend, that I really wanted to go to – then I wouldn’t eat. . . what was wrong with me?

I waited until the day AFTER a holiday to buy holiday-specific greeting cards. My office had a postage machine, and I would print out dated stamps so they looked like they were sent earlier.

I was only busted on this because my fiance wanted to send his grandmother a mother’s day card (I had a few for our actual mothers) and I was so stressed because DIDN’T HE KNOW THEY WOULD BE ON SALE IN A FEW DAYS.

I so needed to read this. Yesterday, for my birthday, I was contemplating whether or not to spend $4 to eat out with my daughters for my birthday or take them home to have another PB&J. Silly, I know but I was thinking the whole time, “what category am I going to take this out of…?” All that to say, we ate out and I enjoyed every minute of it! Thanks Crystal for keeping it real.

I personally find I am way more of a tight-wad to myself than to anyone else. I enjoy spending money on those I love. I do treat myself, but it is so much harder to spend my husband’s hard-earned money on myself!
Tonight I treated myself though. I saw a TV series for $19.99 on DVD that I have been waiting to buy for a long time. The last time I looked on Amazon it was 4x that amount. I reminded myself tonight that I had the $20 saved and it was really, really, really ok to treat myself to the DVD. No use being so cheap and regretting not enjoying a piece of life I rarely partake in!
And now that I’m home, I’m so glad I bought it!

Glad you bought your flowers Crystal!!
I probably have been there too, My husband is very opposite of me…He works very hard, and wants to be able to enjoy his time, and has quite a bit of hobbies. For example, he loves to go to indoor shooting range, and bullets can be expensive. I know I know, spending money on bullets quite isn’t what I would like our money to go to, but its more than that. Its being able to see your partner and know that he is healthy and happy. Doing the things you love actually makes you a much healthier and happier person.
I’ve always wondered how in my culture retirement funds are really not even heard of, and how people manage to survive, and make it to old age. My mother used to always tell me that a little prayer we say says: “Give us today our DAILY bread…” It doesn’t say give us today a years worth, or 5 years worth…or etc. Obviously being smart with your money is important, but at the same time, don’t lose focus on what really is special, and beautiful.
The key is, having a balance between spending your money wisely, and living the life that you dream of. If being tight with your money gives you the joy and happiness, then thats your solution. No matter how much money we make its never about how much we bring into our home, its about how you spend it, how much you get to keep, and how happy you are at the end of the day. & I’ve noticed that being very simple is by far my biggest strength…. I get joy out of the smallest things, even if its just a bouquet of $1.99 flowers..

I disagree somewhat. Being frugal and saving money is all about consistency. I mean like constant consistency… So, if you save money and then splurge on things that you don’t need – it’s like you lie to yourself. Occasional or rare case like yours is OK. Usually, I splurge only on small presents for other people. Personally, I don’t like cut flowers, only in a pot – it’s like a more “green” option :))