Glee cheerleader Dianna Agron is "terrified" of her "psycho loose cannon" ex-boyfriend and I Am Number Four co-star Alex Pettyfer, who apparently got into a "heated confrontation" with Black Swan actor Sebastian Stan, who he thought was hooking up with Dianna. This is one of those stories that is exceedingly juicy, but because every person involved is on the cusp of fame, it's hard to keep track of what's going on. Maybe if Dianna's rebound was a three-way with LiLo and SamRo? Anyway, Dianna and Alex (ages 24 and 20) had a whirlwind courtship, might have gotten engaged, then broke up suddenly and without explanation. Probably the whole "psycho loose cannon" thing, which has forced Dianna to start checking into hotels with fake names. (Don't celebrities do that anyway, though, to avoid crazed fans?) The I Am Number Four press tour just got interesting. [Us, image via Getty]

Lindsay Lohan is going to court today for her grand theft case. Apparently the prosecutor is going present the surveillance footage of LiLo swiping the $2000 necklace in question, then offer a plea bargain which will include "significant jail time." At this point, the courtroom will morph into a set from Chicago and LiLo will affix taps to the soles of her penny loafers and break into song. "I'm innocent! Innocent! / Never have I known where that necklace went!" (To the tune of "Oliver.") If LiLo doesn't accept a plea, the judge will set a date for a preliminary hearing, where more boring crap will happen and another date will be set, and then something might actually happen. [TMZ]

A cache of Eva Mendes naked pictures has gone missing! But they're professional pictures that everyone has already seen, not cellphone sexts or anything, so, whatever. [TMZ]

Charlie Sheen threw a party on a yacht where he entertained a bevy of blondes by screening Jaws. Apparently he's in a "3-way relationship" with two women, one of whom might be porn star Bree Olson, who tweeted about the "amazing" Jaws party, then followed up with tweets about anal sex and her favorite book, The Giving Tree. [TMZ, @BreeOlson]

Billy Ray Cyrus rather regrets telling everyone that daughter Miley is under attack from the Devil. He characterized that comment as "explosive, and unintentionally so" and is now "mending my family," perhaps with an exorcism? If the image of Miley Cyrus' head spinning 360 degrees is now seared into your brain forever, I apologize. [People]

Speaking of Hannah Montana and her father, Mullet McSoulpatch, "Miley truly wanted to give her father the benefit of the doubt," but then she found out he was flying to New York to "talk more crap about his family" on The View, and "went nuts," prompting Lord Mullet. [Popeater]

Drew Barrymore has a new boyfriend: "Socialite type and playboy" Will Kopelman, "art consultant" and "son of former Chanel CEO Arie Kopelman." They made out in public on February 10. [Us]

Of course Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are the kind of couple that spoons food into each other's mouths at restaurants. They probably make it look sexy, too. Damn them and their preternatural powers of lust. [People]

A pregnant Kim Zolciak posed in, hmm, is that a bikini? Lingerie? The biggest surprise here is that Kim is only 32, a fact I gleaned from this quote from Life & Style's press release: "I'll be 33 when I have this baby." Until now, I had been operating under the assumption that nobody under the age of 50 would have that much plastic surgery. [Life&Style]

Mariah Carey's sister is back to working as an "escort": "You have no idea how badly I need cash right now. But I'm not having 'sexy for money.' I provide personal companionship and erotic body rubs." She is 49 years old, has four kids, is HIV-positive, has been arrested twice for prostitution, and advertises herself on a Long Island website where she claims to be a 36-year-old blonde named Denise. Let's end today's gossip roundup on that deeply depressing note. [Enquirer]