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I’m against rapid change that I can’t get a handle on in my old, crotchety age. I need time to adjust to something before it goes all snickersnack on me and shakes up again. Else I feel lost in the ebb and flow of a technological sea that leaves me blubbering at the bottom, wondering why I ever even dipped my toes in.

I use this long, unnecessary sea metaphor to say one thing: I’m going to Google+.

Now I know that some of my readers are in fact old and crotchety and not just pretend old and crotchety like me and may not have any idea what I’m talking about. So allow me to explain that Google+ is Google’s answer to Facebook. Basically, Google+ is an attempt at creating a social networking platform where folks can share content with a sense of greater control over whom they share it with. Google introduced the notion of “circles”, so that instead of simply “friending” someone (like on Facebook), you just add them to circles that you set up yourself. For example, you might name three circles: family, friends, and coworkers. Then you drag and drop appropriate folks into appropriate circles and then you have a choice to share your updates and information with one, some, or all every time that you add content.

It’s a great way to avoid that picture of you face-down on the bar with your bra strap showing ending up on the screen of your current boss.

Circles have a variety of fun possibilities. For example, since no one knows what circle you have them in, you can name them anything at all. I prefer a Seussical system, wherein coworkers are West Beasts, friends are Glotzes, and family are Zooks.

Anyway I have this whole theory about Facebook leading the way to George Orwell’s 1984 and am finally uncomfortable enough to make the switch to Google+.

I see the irony in how I feel safer with Google, which is clearly taking over the world. I’m also aware that Dante also put people in circles. I’m carrying on in full knowledge of the would-be legitimate claims of hypocrisy, and this is how:

Facebook answered Google+’s ideas by allowing people to create lists to sort their friends and share certain information with certain lists. It also introduced a feature called “subscribe”, which essentially just means I’m electing to have someone’s updates show up in my news feed. But the beauty of this feature isn’t in subscribing, really. It’s in unsubscribing, and it will pave my soft, flowery path to the Googlemeister.

Over the past week, I have been slowly unsubscribing from people on Facebook who I don’t really care about. I’m not trying to be mean – I’m just being honest. Do I care that this person who I went to elementary school with but haven’t talked to since they bullied me in the tennis courts in third grade is eating a ham sandwich for lunch?

No, I don’t. And so I shall unsubscribe from their ham-eating updates.

What’s better is that they don’t even know. They’re friends with me – that’s all they see. They have know way of knowing if I follow them or not.

So first I will unsubscribe from people I don’t care about. Then I will unsubscribe from people that don’t ever have interesting updates. And so on and so forth until I am left with only the cream of the crop in my mini-feed. I will systematically chop people out of my information IV like a ruthless ruler. And when I’m left with a very small group that represents those who I am interested in either for entertainment value or for the fact that they really are my friends and I care about them in a virtual sense, I will aggressively campaign for those people to come join me on Google+.

It’s a pretty solid plan and I think more people could make the switch if they slowly weaned themselves in a like manner.

There are a few matters of business to be carried out, of course. For one, I have every single picture of myself for the last 7 years harbored on Facebook. I stopped taking pictures when I realized that my friends would take pictures for me, log them, and label them. So now I have about 600 pictures that I need to get Facebook before the switch or I will have no physical evidence of me being alive for what are supposed to be the most exciting times of my life.

It will be an epic undertaking. There’s rumor of an app for that. I shall Google it and relish in the irony.

But the most important thing that must be addressed before I can deactivate my Facebook account is what the appropriate terminology for enjoying something on Google is. On Facebook you just click a thumbs up and say you “liked” it. On Google+, there’s a little plus sign (+). But how does one express that as a verb? They plus-ed it?

I can’t just go joining a virtual group of people without knowing the appropriate term. Heaven forbid I throw out “Plus-ed” in casual conversation and it be wrong. But once I get that taken care of, it’s off to the Googlemeister for my social networking needs.

That’s it for me and Facebook. It’s going to be a slow, slightly painful, and definitely awkward transition. But once I make it to the land of the Google, I can hang out with all my Glotzes, Zooks, and West Beasts. ♣

as someone who really IS old and crotchety…thanks for explaining all that in a way that made sense to me. Now that I can make an informed decision I will go away and consider my options..and probably forget what the h$%$ you were talking about.

I’m on both right now, but I’m not really using Google+ yet. I didn’t realize that I could unsub from people without them knowing — ‘I have a little list, they’d none of them be missed’ (I probably misquoted). Perhaps I will go unsub them right now. I get way too much crap on Facebook anyway; I can’t see the posts of the people I really care about!

I suggest weeding them out casually and occasionally. Just read through your feed and unsubscribe right there in the feed from folks you don’t care to hear from constantly. You can even adjust it to “all updates, only the most important updates, or unsubscribe”

of course, I’m not sure what the heck ‘the most important’ updates are..

I think this is a really sound plan and much less painful than the alternative of quitting FB cold turkey. Thanks for planting the seed on my next big technology switch over. I have grown a bit tired of the aggressive changes FB has been making. Toodles FB…tata for now!

Day 4: The shakes and cold sweats came early last night. I starting hearing voices in the walls, couldn’t be sure if it was the delusions or Zuck’s eyes and ears on the ground. I’m scared… but I’m holding out. They won’t take me alive!!!

I like how you state you don’t hate change, just when there is a really big difference, and then state you changing to a completely different system 🙂 Is google+ any good? I’ve been considering checking it out but I’m not sure I want another social network to take up all of my time. I’m pretty sure I can’t abandon facebook though, I’m kinda addicted to it. How did they do that again?

Fair observation 🙂 Google has a habit of announcing changes well before they’re implemented and allowing you to switch back and forth until you’re used to it before the rollout. I’m hoping they keep that up for G+. Also, it’s really the next step Fbook is taking that has me running scared from 1984.

I like G+, personally. There isn’t much to learn, really – it’s what you expect. It’s like Fbook before things got all crazy. Wean yourself off the Fbook 😉 Every time someone comes up in your mini feed that you don’t care about, unsubscribe to them. Keep doing it once in a while until you boil it down and ask yourself if you’re really spending all that time on there just for them. If it’s worth it, awesome. If not, leeeeave.

Hi Jackie! Really enjoyed your take on Google+. Makes me think I need to give it a serious try and get rid of Facebook, too. I’ve had a Google+ account for a while, but I didn’t understand why it was so much better or why I should put the effort into it until I read your post. Thanks!

Oh, and I have a solution for your Facebook photo problem. Several months ago I wanted to download all of my photos from Facebook to my computer. I used a free program called PhotoGrabber.

It’s kind of scary at first because it asks for your Facebook login info, but it is the only way and I’ve never had it infiltrate my Facebook. You can opt not to have it become a part of your Facebook life. It’s great.

P.S. Just wanted to say I come from a geek/nerd family, too. My dad used to play D&D. When my sister and I were old enough to have similar interests and game-playing skills, he bought us HeroQuest. We spent many hours playing it. We also used to play a lot of the Lonely Mountain game (you quest for LOTR treasure in Smog’s lair).