April 25, 2014

If I only had a brain...

I had the best of intentions of posting Tuesday, and then Wednesday, and then earlier today, but I was having a huge glass-half-empty kind of week wishing I could pull myself out of the land of baby and toddler madness and function like a normal human being for once. Anything that would have been said (or typed) would have resembled more of a complain-y freak show and brought further proof of my downward spiral away from functioning personhood.

My brain can't get off the foggy loop that goes something like - change diaper, change baby, tell toddler to pee, feed baby, change baby, tell toddler to pee, make quesadillas, repeat. There's nothing quite like looking in the mirror hoping the better version of yourself shows up soon and yet knowing she's lost somewhere between 7 months of no sleep and 2.5 years of blissful insanity. Ain't nobody got time for that mess of a person going on. And ain't nobody want to hear about it.

I've been finding myself roughing it through a busy travel season for Brian and the two little loves upping the ante in the development/throwing mom for a loop charade. My life feels like a slow motion panorama of chaos that's slowly murdering my brain ensuring that I'll never function in the real world again.

Today I skipped the piles of laundry, skirted around toy covered floors, somehow jumped over nap time, made a haphazard dinner, bounced the babe on my knee all while bribing an unclothed Rori with my portion of the meal, still landed myself half covered in food, and although bedtime prep started almost an hour early, the kids were still closing their little eyes at about the exact same time as normal. No amount of coffee, candles, or favorite music was going to solve today's woes.

Poor Brian arrived home in a suit and tie after rubbing elbows with the CEO of Wal-Mart???? And nope, I didn't really want to hear about what he had for dinner. Kindly of course - always kindly.

But seriously.

Sometimes I laugh out loud at who he spends his days with vs. who I spend my days with. And it's all for the greater good yada yada yada.....

I know.

I just wish someone would invent a "be a normal, functioning adult" button that I could press any time I walk out the front door.