Updates: “Bisexual and Alone” Responds

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It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Bisexual and Alone who was having a hard time coming to terms with her sexuality and feeling especially alone in her small town where she lacked a supportive group of like-minded people to turn to. After the jump, find out how she’s doing today.

Thanks for replying! I talked to my counselor since I wrote to you and he told me that, yes, bisexuality does exist and I am not alone; also, from what I told him, it sounds to him that this isn’t a phase that I’m going through (because 12 years is a long time for a “phase,” his words not mine!) but who I am. He told me to follow my heart, and not let gender have anything to do with it. Though I’m still sort of “in the closet,” I did tell my sister, who I thought would freak, but it turns out she is 100% behind me! The rest of my family will probably never really understand because they believe in conformity.

I came out to my best gay guy friend too and he said “Girl, its 2011, get with the program, you can’t help who you fall for, who cares what others think, they can’t tell you who you love or who you find attractive!” I’ve really educated myself and I’m even thinking of starting a LGBT group at my college. It’s amazing to know who I truly am. Even though I still have to fight some stereotypes and bi-phobia from both ends, it’s worth it, because this is who I am, and I’m proud to represent myself and others like me who believe that love is not just color-blind but gender-blind as well! I now love me, and I feel that since I truly know who I am, I feel AMAZING!!!

Thank you for your words; I now know that they are more true and real than ever before. It feels so amazing not to be as repressed as I was before, and getting informed is so important, no matter what your orientation is! I would also tell other people who are afraid that it does get better, though I haven’t told EVERYBODY, that doesn’t matter, coming out is about me, not them.

This warms my heart. So happy to hear you’re doing well and accepting yourself for who you are!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

I’m so happy for you! Finally knowing who you truly are under any circumstances is the most empowering and enlightening feeling you could ever have! I wish you the best of luck and I think you should definitely start the group on campus. Think of all the students who feel just like you did and you could be the one to change their life!

Happy to hear that things have improved so in your life. Listen, if you remain fearful of telling your remaining family members…then for the time being, don’t. You can always do that later and if you and your sister both feel it will only be counterproductive, then by all means put it off for a while.

Again, best of luck. And take great comfort in your new ally, your sister.

Good for you! It’s all about self-acceptance–that’s the kind that truly matters in life and it will give you strength. You’ll also meet a ton of people you will disabused you of the notion that you are alone or a freak–we’re out there–and have felt the same way you do.