tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21283956595913006722017-08-17T20:38:58.469-07:00 Nutty Jay's World.Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.comBlogger132125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-66355034994795828932016-08-26T04:37:00.001-07:002016-08-26T04:37:49.487-07:00I miss being in Love<br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I miss having that &nbsp;feeling you get when you know there's someone out there who's swaying to the same rhythm in your heart&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Someone who looks forward to you as eagerly as you look forward to him</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Someone you know that no matter what, so long as he's there, everything else can go to shit</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't want the one sided kinda love where he's doing all the loving and I'm doing all the smiling...</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...it's not enough&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want the kinda love where I love right back, fervently.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g8VNkjubjxg/V8ApQ3NatlI/AAAAAAAAAyA/soVQHI_mKqEXWViCLkLTgjMnM0kt_CgeACLcB/s1600/MTI0ODUyNzUzOTQyOTgxMjUx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g8VNkjubjxg/V8ApQ3NatlI/AAAAAAAAAyA/soVQHI_mKqEXWViCLkLTgjMnM0kt_CgeACLcB/s640/MTI0ODUyNzUzOTQyOTgxMjUx.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The kind of love where we cant wait for the work hours to be over, only so we can be together....</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...to make each other laugh</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...to be silly together</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">....to kiss the work stress away</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">.... and just to be with each other.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's been a long time. I can't remember when last I felt that way</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I miss that</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I miss the butterflies&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I miss having my heart skip in love</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I miss being in love.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-47565309064668965102016-06-30T02:44:00.004-07:002016-06-30T02:44:51.436-07:00Healing For Your Pain<div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">I was told to write an essay recently on my worse pain<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">I couldn’t think about anything… I kept going back and forth in my head trying to think about what it could have been. And honestly when I started writing this I was just going to write that nothing really in my past has been that painful to qualify as <b>‘that painful’. </b>Not even when I lost my first job because I had gone to do a surgery&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">But then a memory hit me on the spot! Like God brought it back to my memory</span><br /><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">So it was the month of June 2002, I was writing my SSCE, &nbsp;it was also my birth month. Coincidentally I had the same birth date with an uncle, my dad’s cousin. And he was turning a certain age that year (<b>I cant remember)</b>, but I remember we had all jokingly agreed I will be celebrating with him that year. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">At least in my mind I believe that was the tentative plan… &nbsp;ironically his son was my classmate, so most of our class mates would be at that party<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">I prepared for that day. I think I bought a new outfit, I made my hair a fascinating cornrow kinda style. I was amped. My birthday was a Tuesday (June 4<sup>th</sup>) but this party was for a Saturday, June 8<sup>th</sup><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">Then comes June 8<sup>th</sup> 2002… a Saturday. &nbsp;My mum was working morning duty and she had told us she would meet us at the venue. So by afternoon I had prepared food for my dad and siblings to eat and I was hurriedly doing the dishes so that I could go dress up for Uncle G’s birthday. Then my dad walked into the kitchen and the following conversation ensued: <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;"><b>‘</b><i>Where do you think you are going, what’s all this excitement about</i>’ ' </span><span style="color: red;">My dad asked <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br /></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">‘<i>Errhm for Uncle G’s birthday, it’s this afternoon….'</i>&nbsp; </span><span style="color: red;">I responded puzzled, honestly I was confused.<span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br /></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><span style="color: red;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , sans-serif;">‘<i>Naaaahhhh… you are not going, &nbsp;oh ooo&nbsp;so that you can go and meet all those useless boys in your class abi? Or you think I&nbsp;</i></span><i style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">don’t&nbsp;</i><i style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">know what the excitement is about</i><span style="font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , sans-serif;">? and etc etc etc</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">He went on and on and on and I couldn’t believe it. This day I had looked forward to for weeks! Like this like this the day was being snatched away only based on an <b>imagination</b> of his on what I couldn’t even frigging understand. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , sans-serif;">I walked normally to my room, , locked the door, went into my wardrobe, cried silently, cried and cried and cried. Yeah in my home you don’t just stay anywhere and cry because that could trigger another stream of verbal abuse. So you hide to cry. If you had to cry, that is. Today i wasn't even crying that I wouldn't be attending the party... I was crying at the accusations of a crime I was being punished for. A crime I hadn't commited. I didn't even understand what my dad was saying to me.&nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">After that I took the card I had bought for Uncle G, addressed it and gave my younger brother to help me give him at the party<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">My dad saw the card, abused me some more and asked me if I bought him a big card like that for his own birthday, said I was trying to impress my uncles sons…. and long story short, I was left at home. Heartbroken<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">Now let’s recap… I was being punished for a crime I did not commit, a crime I did not even plan to commit, and all based on imagination/assumption. Mind you this was my dad's usual way so this wasn't the first time I was being denied or verbally abused about &nbsp;something, as a punishment for nothing&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">What was the crime? It was that the reason I was excited was because ‘<i>I knew my class mates will be there and so I want to go and see the useless boys, plus &nbsp;the crime of wanting to impress my cousins</i>’. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">What the fig???? Typing this now I cannot even understand this<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">This issue came up again <b>June 12<sup>th</sup></b>, and it led to me being asked to leave the house after I got through with my WAEC (long story) and I was out of the house for Nine (9) months, until I gained admission to the university. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">Apparently that incidence changed something in me. I didn't know that until last Sunday night when I recalled the memory. So that for every time I perceived I was being wrongly accused by someone I cared for, or if they misconstrued my actions and did not bother to seek clarification from me, I automatically made effort to prove them right. After all if I was to be <i>'punished'</i>, I might as well do the crime. And I lived like that for a long time <o:p></o:p></span><br /><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;"><br /></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">Sad way to live</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">Many years passed and I began walking closely with the Lord and I stopped doing that.&nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">But I discovered of recent that being falsely&nbsp;</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;">accused</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;">&nbsp;</span><b style="color: #1f497d; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;">triggered</b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;">&nbsp;something in me, I get crazy, mad, erratic up to the point of permanently ending every thread of contact with the person. Which was better than excuting the murderous thoughts that play in my head those moments</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iBOmbZud3Uk/V3Tmlhh1XZI/AAAAAAAAAwM/9BGJ9GZB2PoxjaYR5EfdJxg0NLuKzktdQCLcB/s1600/healer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iBOmbZud3Uk/V3Tmlhh1XZI/AAAAAAAAAwM/9BGJ9GZB2PoxjaYR5EfdJxg0NLuKzktdQCLcB/s400/healer.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">Why am I sharing this? Because I know many of you will say:&nbsp;<i>'because of this small thing?"</i></span><br /><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;"><br /></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-themecolor: text2;">You see there are histories buried and stored in us through past &nbsp;experiences of life, that makes us respond in certain ways to the situations that we face today. Thus you face a particular situation and what was stored back there in time past affects the way you respond to the present &nbsp;situation confronting you. You may never know why you behave strangely sometimes, until you search those things out and deal them. Because many are coming from buried unforgiven &nbsp;memories. I believe if you ask God to show you why you react in certain ways, He will help you and show you and then heal you. &nbsp;He searches the heart and deep places of our being. &nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;">I got my healing on Monday... I guess God wanted to heal me from that stronghold and thus He revealed to me the source. You too can be healed, and I pray that God heals your pain and sets you free from every bondage, both known and unknown in Jesus name&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: &quot;tahoma&quot; , sans-serif;">Happy Weekend in Advance &nbsp;:)&nbsp;</span></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-3923508614770689952016-03-28T14:09:00.003-07:002016-03-28T14:09:38.201-07:00I Am Stuck!!! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am lying in bed tonight, disgruntled, a lot running through my mind and I feel stuck. I feel like everything and everyone around me is making significant progress or at least have got it all figured out for themselves... except me&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It is an annoying state of mind. I literally do not know what to do or even what I am doing (come to think about it). About anything&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And the fact that Nigeria seems to be folding up is not helping matters.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The weather is constantly hot, there is no steady light, there is no fuel for generator, there is no fuel for my car that is bought effortlessly without queuing, inflation is unbearable. Did I mention that the weather is unbearably hot?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And to crown it up like I said, I really really feel stuck in a never ending circle!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The public holiday ends today and work starts tomorrow and I am just not myself&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am not happy.&nbsp;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JF6070quWP0/VvmVP7MKdyI/AAAAAAAAAtk/wWAwIDtKNwEWhfHoQZhZ_ZUASSL6YPhXQ/s1600/unnamed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JF6070quWP0/VvmVP7MKdyI/AAAAAAAAAtk/wWAwIDtKNwEWhfHoQZhZ_ZUASSL6YPhXQ/s400/unnamed.png" width="400" /></a></div><br />Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-68118050116028071072016-01-28T05:26:00.000-08:002016-01-28T05:28:41.069-08:00Defining THE WILL OF GOD in Lay-man terms Happy New Year my people<br /><div><br /></div><div>I wont allow this month crawl by without wishing you all a &nbsp;H A P P Y N E W Y E A R</div><div><br /></div><div>This month has been the longest I have experienced in ages, and it is still ongoing. It is still January.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>I will give you all the gist regarding all that has happened to me in this one month. It's crazy how one month can have so much highs and lows and highs and lows... phew!! story for another time.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay so I have a lay man's explanation for what it means to find the will of God regarding a situation, and that's what I want to write about today.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>What do we mean when we ask: <i>WHAT IS THE WILL OF GOD CONCERNING THIS MATTER FOR YOU ?</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>For everyone of us there is a story also known as a plan, that God has written/drawn out for us and for our life's journey. Right from before we were born. &nbsp;This story goes according to what He wants (not according to what we wish). The plots, scenes and actions in this story have been written according to what He wants, and He has outlined &nbsp;<i>how</i> and <i>when</i> these things will play out during your life time. All for His purpose&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Thus when we request something from Him, it is always in our best interest to ask Him first if what you are requesting is part of the story He has written for you. That is what is referred to as <b>'<i>...finding out the will of God concerning a matter'&nbsp;</i></b></div><div><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div>If what you seek is part of His will for you, then you receive your request effortlessly if it is in line with the season for you to receive it, and what you have requested for will come with peace, joy and rest of mind.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>However if it is not His will for you to have what you are requesting, if it is not in your story, dearest you will ask from everlasting to everlasting and it won't come to you. Especially if you are a beloved of God. You will pray and fast and try hard, and you will just be wasting energy and time because He won't allow that thing happen for you. &nbsp;Hallelujah!! You see you need to trust what he said here, whether you trust in pain and tears and sorrow, you just need to trust His word when He says:</div><div><br /></div><div><span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><b><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">'For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the&nbsp;</span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 24px;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end'. &nbsp;</span></i></b></span><span style="background-color: #e8e6e4; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Jeremiah 29:11</span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: #e8e6e4; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fz-LMYnzZ4c/VqoVMaUh82I/AAAAAAAAAqM/MuanvoIhMX8/s1600/trust-unknown-future-to-known-god-jpg1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="382" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fz-LMYnzZ4c/VqoVMaUh82I/AAAAAAAAAqM/MuanvoIhMX8/s400/trust-unknown-future-to-known-god-jpg1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">I'd love to just end the discussion here. &nbsp;But I must say this though, there are times we persist and sulk and throw tantrums and insist and will rather die than let go of what we are asking for. Stubborn!! Most times you can keep asking and you still won't get it, but then again on some rare, very rare occassion you will get what you want, but trust me, it would not bring you the satisfaction you thought it would, it would steal your joy instead of bring you joy, as a matter of fact it will bring about bumps and gallops on your life's story and would make you go through a longer and tougher path through your life's journey. &nbsp;</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">Don't let anyone deceive you, it is not easy trusting God every time and with every thing...sometimes you will trust in tears, in groanings, but trust him anyways. He holds all the cards. And one thing I know, He is good and even though sometimes it doesn't seem like that, believe anyway that He is good, and He is good to You.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">Practice trusting God this year... trust Him to take you where He wants to take you to this year 2016...regardless of if it is where you had planned on going. You will be glad you followed Him&nbsp;</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">Kisses and Hugs always</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">Nutty Jay&nbsp;</span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-820453155796125892015-12-14T08:48:00.001-08:002015-12-14T08:48:29.646-08:00Salt<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was studying about salt recently, and it would blow your mind just how much we can know if only we would use google the right way. &nbsp;But the basic of all things salt, is that:&nbsp;<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; line-height: 22.4px;"><i>it is essential to the health of people and animals and is used universally as a <u>seasoning</u></i></span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.4px;"><i><u><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></u></i></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; line-height: 22.4px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Many of us who cook will agree with me that no matter how well you mix ingredients and add all the assorted meat parts in Africa, without salt in the food, it would be tasteless and will remain tasteless until you put a pinch of salt, or a teaspoon of salt, or a table spoon of salt, depending on how large a soup you are cooking.&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; line-height: 22.4px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #252525; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4px;">Thus salt isn't food itself, rather it is the substance that makes food tasty. It is the reason why we want to eat food. It brings out the taste in all the ingredients in the food.&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.4px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #252525; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.4px;"><i>'...<b>ye are the salt of the earth</b>...' </i>Matthew 5:13</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">It would amaze you the things you can find out about yourself if only you read your bible. Jesus was saying to the believers at that time, and believers now, that we are the salt of the earth! You are the salt of the earth, I am the salt of the earth. The whole earth, little me I am the salt of the earth. &nbsp;Meaning I have what it takes to add taste to this earth. &nbsp;Isn't that amazing??</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">It makes me understand that whenever I find myself in an other wise tasteless environment, what is expected of me, by default, is to add taste to that environment. Do you know that for everytime you talk to a person, or join in a conversation you are supposed to leave that conversation or that person better than you met them? Yes you are.... that is what being the salt of the earth means</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8QWpPacUyZw/Vm7x1DamVsI/AAAAAAAAAos/Fx4ukpP7kC4/s1600/6-Ways-to-Be-Salt-of-the-Earth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8QWpPacUyZw/Vm7x1DamVsI/AAAAAAAAAos/Fx4ukpP7kC4/s640/6-Ways-to-Be-Salt-of-the-Earth.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Many of us I know are on a journey of trying to discover the reason for which you were created, and I believe it would be revealed to you, however this is one purpose you do not need revelation on because it has already been revealed in the bible: YOU ARE THE SALT OF THE EARTH</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">'...<b><i>the whole creation waits breathless with anticipation for the revelation of God's sons and daughter</i>..</b>' Romans 8:19</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">What are they waiting for? They are waiting for you and I to begin to do what Children of God are created to do, that is shine in dark situations, season tasteless circumstances, do good works so that your Father is glorified</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="versenum" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">&nbsp;'</span><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><b style="font-style: italic;">Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.' &nbsp;</b>Matthew 5:16</span></span><br /><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The year 2016 approaches, and the time has come for you and I to begin to make a positive difference every where we find ourselves. You must begin to walk in concsiousness of who you are as a child of God, and begin to add taste where ever you go: in your family, in your neighbourhood, in your community, amongst your friends, in your church, in your city, in your state until you take the entire nation for Christ. &nbsp;</span></span><br /><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Many times all you need to do is live an exemplary life, because &nbsp;it is not about what you say, it is about what you do and how you are when no one is watching...people will see that exemplary life and want to be a part of the life you live. Do not waste your saltiness...because then you really wouldn't be reconciling anyone to God, which is the sole reason Christ died for us. Thus you would be doing nothing as a Christian except occupying space.</span></span><br /><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></span></span><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>'...</b><i><b>but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men'.</b> </i>Matthew 5:13b</span></span><br /><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Selah....</span></span><br /><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Kisses and Hugs&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Nutty Jay&nbsp;</span></span>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-29170522867392673842015-08-23T15:44:00.001-07:002015-08-23T15:44:17.441-07:00Fighting Temptation...<div><div dir="auto">How do you fight temptation? Especially the type of temptation a part of you is willing to flirt with and see just how far you can go...&nbsp;</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">Most times we psyche ourselves a lot and mentally check the items off the list one after the other:</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">-<i> I'm stronger than this... I can actually go and nothing will happen</i></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">- <i>For a couple of years now I've made right choices regarding this, so it doesn't matter anymore, this weakness no longer has power over me</i></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">- <i>I'm on fire for the Lord... I can will myself not to do this and I won't. ...</i>&nbsp;</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">And oh the invitation looks better and better with each passing minute until you can just physically touch it.&nbsp;</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">Scripture says (1st Corintians .10 :13) <i>No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear </i>it.</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">One of your ways of escape is to <u>just walk in the opposite direction</u> from the beginning. When your head begins to tell you that you have nothing to worry about, that you are in control, that you are over analyzing the situation; that's the time you need your feet to run very far from that invitation that MAY lead you to &nbsp;compromise your morals, your beliefs, your faith, your resolution etc. You can never get burnt if you are no where near the fire.&nbsp;</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">Temptations are everywhere. ..on a daily basis the opportunity to do the wrong thing comes knocking. The difference between whether you fall for it and let God, yourself and your loved ones down lies in the choices you make at those times. You always have a choice.&nbsp;</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">You know your weaknesses, &nbsp;these are areas in which you struggled at one point in your life and fell over and over again until you finally got a grip on that area...even though now your mind is very sure you'll never fall again, I'd like to inform you that your flesh hasn't and will never get that memo. &nbsp;</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">How to fight temptation: Take the way of escape...there is always a way of escape. Take it. Don't stand there and try to fight it because your flesh would not fight with you. 99% of the time your flesh will let you down. Just flee, its better to be safe than sorry... thus take the way of ESCAPE FROM whatever it is that's tempting you at that time.&nbsp;</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">You'll be glad you did</div></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">Have a very good week ahead&nbsp;</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">Nutty Jay&nbsp;</div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-35559463802235508262015-05-05T04:56:00.000-07:002015-05-05T04:56:17.713-07:00Randoms/PurposeIts been ages!!!! I think the last time I blogged (here) was 2-3 months ago???<br /><br />I know what the problem is... it's not writer's block, because I have been writing on other platforms randomly...so yes I can still write thank you. I think the problem is that this blog has fulfilled the purpose for which it &nbsp;was created in the first place.<br /><br />I was in a <a href="http://nuttyjay.blogspot.fr/2010/02/in-dark-place.html"><b><span style="color: red;">dark place</span></b></a> and since the only way I'd ever known how to find release/light &nbsp;was through writing, I decided to find a place where all my worries/issues could be highlighted without fear of criticism or nosey people calling me to 'explain' what I meant, like I was getting from facebook friends whenever I wrote a <b><a href="http://nuttyjay.blogspot.fr/2010/03/introducing-myself.html"><span style="color: red;">'note'</span></a>&nbsp;</b>on facebook.<br /><br />This blog helped me alot to talk about things annoymously that normally I wouldn't tell anyone. After all I am that friend that has her sh*t together, the one who always had the sound advice for everyone else with issues, no no no far be it from me to spoil that illusion they had that I was cool, calm and collected like that...far be it from me to have issues of my own...as a matter of fact whenever I tried to bring up an issue, it was usually laughed off like <i>'this one no serious, it's not true...eh en as we were saying...'</i><br /><i><br /></i>Anyways, Nutty Jay's World helped me alot (<i>2010,2011,2012,2013</i>), not only could I freely talk about my opinions, ideas, struggles, annoyance etc, I could also talk about the past of way way back and lessons I've learnt.<br /><br />But &nbsp;'<i>...there's a time and season for everything'. </i>This blog has served it's purpose, and I think that's why I'm struggling to write here these days. I've done alot of growing up and I no longer have reasons to talk about the things I want to talk about anonymously. These days the things I want to write about are not consistent with the original plan and purpose for which this blog was created... it restrains the flow. Nowadays I just do random posting on my facebook notes, other people's blog, facebook pages etc. I plan on opening another blog, or a website (still don't know how to go about the website thing)...but it's still a plan.<br /><br />Talking about purpose, do you know what yours is? If a common blog had a purpose and has served it's purpose, I'm sure you know you have to find out why you were created to be on this earth, born into the family you were born into, why you are currently where you are now, and what you should be doing per time.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dnwNhZwu1HI/VUis1nlvPYI/AAAAAAAAAm8/hwm-iEF8np0/s1600/Clear-Sense-Of-Purpose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="186" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dnwNhZwu1HI/VUis1nlvPYI/AAAAAAAAAm8/hwm-iEF8np0/s320/Clear-Sense-Of-Purpose.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br />In a totally unrelated issue, I just want to say folks that life is beautiful...yes it is complex, complicated, fun, painful, glorious, joyful, a struggle sometimes but simply beautiful. All the different aspect of life are inter-woven to bring us all to an expected end. So why do we hold on so fiercely to the past? Your mistakes, your heartbreaks, your '<i>could have been</i>', <i>'should have been</i>' and <i>'I wish it went like so</i>' moments? Why do we try to figure things out that we would never get answers to, why do we spend time hoping and wishing &nbsp;for a second chance to make things right, or maybe this time you will do things differently that will make them treat you right-er than they did before?<br /><br />People of God there are no second chances in the past.... today is your second chance, tomorrow is your second chance. Don't spend today wishing you did things differently yesterday, because then you will spend tomorrow wishing you had done things differently today. Stop trying to build what God is trying to kill...when you've done all you can and prayed all you can, leave it and move on...we all know when to let go, we just keep deceiving ourselves. Find your purpose in life and pursue it till you fulfill it<br /><br />God wants to give you beauty for ashes... but you must first give up the ashes, let go of the ashes, stop beating yourself over things you can not change. You cannot receive the beauty if you insist on holding on to the ashes.<br /><br />Learn from the past, but let go of the past. Do better today, not because you are trying to compensate for yesterday...but because it is the right thing to do.<br /><br /><br />See you later<br /><br />Nutty Jay<br /><br /><br />Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-10299895579118875852015-02-25T01:53:00.000-08:002015-02-25T01:53:18.281-08:00Saving it for later?I'm expecting my salary any time soon, and as practical as I am I have done a break down of what and what are already placing demands on the <i>yet to be received</i>&nbsp;salary for this month.<br /><br />At the end of the calculation I see that there is almost nothing gen gen &nbsp;remaining. Mind you I have <b><u>not</u></b> deducted the underlisted bills:<br /><br />- <i>Hair do for March</i><br /><i>- Nail do for March&nbsp;</i><br /><i>- Washer man bill for February</i><br /><i>- Recharge card to use in March&nbsp;</i><br /><i>- Data Bundle Renewal for March (Note that I didn't renew for February)</i><br /><i>- Movie nights</i><br /><br /><br />The above listed things are very important to me, they seem inconsequential but they are important to keeping me sane(r)<br /><br />Now why am I saying all these, I had a discussion with a friend recently, a financial guru and after the discussion I felt like I wasn't saving enough for the future or for the good things I could be obtaining in life. I do save mind you, but he made a case that at least <span style="background-color: yellow;">40%</span> of my salary should be saved and I was like: <i>GERROUT OF HERE. </i>I even tried explaining that saving up to 30% was easy for me one time when I had a boyfriend but not so easy these days but he wasn't buying all that.<br /><i><br /></i><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M202P4E9SbE/VO2Y_Nnr6wI/AAAAAAAAAmU/bP_YivKbVLA/s1600/shutterstock_111349808.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M202P4E9SbE/VO2Y_Nnr6wI/AAAAAAAAAmU/bP_YivKbVLA/s1600/shutterstock_111349808.jpg" height="196" width="400" /></a></div><i><br /></i><i><br /></i>So I got thinking, is it so easy for people to save 40% of their salary...I mean people without <span style="background-color: yellow;">another source of income</span>, or support from family or partner/spouse/etc.<br /><br />Don't they pay tithe, don't they buy fuel, don't they give offerings, don't they make their hair, don't they buy food stuff and provisions, don't they use gas, don't they give to family members when the need arises, don't they run generator, don't they buy gifts etc... and it doesn't even matter how much they are earning because the more money you earn the more bills you incur since your level of living improves, don't they have fees to pay doesn't matter if its a school fee for self or a course in church or a professional course<br /><br />So is it just me, or is 40% actually doable? without being stingy and miserly.<br /><br />Is your salary &nbsp;enough to live a stable balanced life and still have good money saved up in a bank??<br /><br /><br /><br />Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-56970392729015046152015-01-02T04:32:00.000-08:002015-01-02T04:32:13.652-08:002015...What NOT to do2015...<br /><br />Everyone is writing out their new year resolution and 'to do' list and all the motivation that comes in the new year. &nbsp;Me???? I am mentally writing out my 'not to do list'<br /><br />We have been taught to count our blessings and name them. Trust me that is one of the best things to do...it gives you a lot to be thankful for. But now let's try a little exercise: Count your pains and name them one by one. Write it out and make it plain. Enough of sweeping everything under the carpet. ...it's good to forgive and forget....However if you don't sit down to access what went wrong to cause you such pain in the first place, &nbsp;you'll make the same mistakes again and again and the circle of pain will continue endlessly.<br /><br />I never had the intention of having a 'not-to-do' list...until yesterday when a friend I thought I knew, someone I trusted more than anything taught me a lesson I should have learnt 8 years ago if I had taken time to sit and access the situation and put measures in place. <br /><br />Fool me once...shame on you. I make the same mistake twice shame on me. <br /><br /><br />So what am I not doing this year?<br /><br />1. I am not trusting anyone just because my heart says so. People lie<br /><br />2. I am not ignoring any hunch I have ever ever again. My hunches are right<br /><br />3. I'm not going the extra mile for anyone who hasn't and isn't continously going the extra mile for me.<br /><br />4. I am not going to put a halt in my plans in the pursuit of happiness just because others have a contrary opinion. If it pleases God and it pleases me then I'm doing it<br /><br />5. I am not going to judge others for being overly careful before making decisions. ...they have learnt this lesson I'm just learning<br /><br />6. I ain't spending my money on anything that won't bring returns. &nbsp;I work hard for this money<br /><br />7. I'm not compromising on my spiritual standards. God is love and He's the only true friend.<br /><br />8. I'm not compromising on healthy living for anyone, anything and not even for money. God did not bring me this far for me to throw away my health<br /><br />9. I will not take a backseat this year... I'm so going to wield a lot of influence in every area of my life. When decisions that Wil affect me or others are being made, my voice will be amongst those that will be heard and taken seriously.<br /><br />10. I'll not be content. This one is subject to your interpretation and anyone you come up with, you are right<br /><br />11. I will not spice chicken or cook with any ingredient I don't know...just because my aunt recommends it....that ish can mess your kitchen cred big time<br /><br />12. I will not make out time for anything or anyone that's not making me better or making me money. Forget about making me happy....happiness is overrated. Its what we use in confusing ourselves. That it makes you happy doesnt mean it makes you better. I'm destined for greatness. &nbsp; &nbsp;<br /><br /><br />So dear all, as I wish you Happy New Year and pray for More ink to your pens, do tell...what will you NOT DO this year.<br /><br /><br />Nutty Jay<br /><br />Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-62366968313405623382014-11-07T02:58:00.001-08:002014-11-07T02:58:21.264-08:00Empathy- If you can't give it, FAKE IT!!!<br /><b>EMPATHY</b>: Can simply be defined as understanding what others are feeling because you have experienced it yourself or can put yourself in their shoes.<br /><br />I don't know if I should call it a skill or an attribute or whatever, but I know people who eventually become great leaders have this quality in abundance, they empathize with others... they relate to people's suffering or pain and share in it, because they can relate based on personal experience, or just the ability to put themselves in the other person's shoes . &nbsp;It is an ability to recognize the concerns other people have<br /><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 14px;">&nbsp;</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It allows us to create bonds of trust, it gives us insights into what others may be feeling or thinking; it helps us understand how or why others are reacting to situations.</span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bxrVisOXzf0/VFykbeJZeHI/AAAAAAAAAlI/0vhwXL3WEgE/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bxrVisOXzf0/VFykbeJZeHI/AAAAAAAAAlI/0vhwXL3WEgE/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>I'll show you clearly what I mean with the following illustration:<br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">When a friend calls you full of pain and hurt and disappointment over the latest disappointment in their life and you can visibly and audibly hear the pain in their words and you say something like:&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>You</b>: <i>&nbsp;Wow! na wa o...don't worry dear. You may have to just let that go. I feel your pains</i></span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>Disappointed Friend</b>: Thank you</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>You</b>: <i>You are welcome dear. I can imagine how you &nbsp;feel pissed at the Naija system. It's very annoying</i></span></span><br /><b style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Disappointed Friend</b><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">: I'm trying to process this shit, so I can excuse it, its so hard mehnnn. I had targets on when I wanted to get this done. I hate this</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>You</b>: <i>Naija! It is well. Sorry about this. Take it easy. Mehnnnn What will happen now?</i></span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Your side of the conversation above can be said to have been emphatizing with the person . You are relating to the pain the person is feeling.&nbsp;</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7RAYbohSCYQ/VFyfQOdCskI/AAAAAAAAAk4/iBfyFhcYpE0/s1600/Screenshot-2014-02-27-20.51.16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7RAYbohSCYQ/VFyfQOdCskI/AAAAAAAAAk4/iBfyFhcYpE0/s1600/Screenshot-2014-02-27-20.51.16.png" height="227" width="320" /></a></div><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Now here is how the conversation can also go:</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>You</b>: <i>Pray about it, something can still happen</i></span></span><br /><b style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Disappointed Friend</b><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">: It's no use... I've heard from both sides, nothing can be done</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>You</b>; <i>Wow! Don't worry it's not a waste of time. Just channel your energy into something else.&nbsp;</i></span></span><br /><b style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Disappointed Friend</b><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">: It's fine. Okay</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>You</b>: <i>Yea take a chill pill and suck it in</i></span></span><br /><b style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Disappointed Friend</b><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">: Leave me alone</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>You</b>: <i>Can't do that, we are in this together. it's the situation we find ourselves in...if we can't do anything about it we look for other options. yes time is no friend to anyone...feeling bad and sulking won't change anything. Therefore we pick ourselves up and roll with plan B. It's life</i></span></span><br /><b style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Disappointed Friend</b><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">: I know you mean well... but your words, this is not the time for it</span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><b>You</b>: <i>Sorry, I don't know how to be soft, it's the reality. If you do this again in August, it doesn't make you less professional than the next person. Pick up the next plan on your list and move ahead.&nbsp;</i></span></span><br /><span style="color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span>Your side of the conversation above cannot be said to have any iota of empathy or even sympathy... as a matter of fact you have just sounded very selfish and full of yourself, you've made the episode about yourself and your opinion! Because you see, there is a time and a season for everything, including your opinion!!!! Keep your opinions for a later time when the person is not so heartbroken or near tears or disappointed. Keep it for the next brain storming session you both have.<br /><br />Your opinion is a good one no doubt...but you sound like an asshole when you don't know exactly when to shut the hell up!!!&nbsp;<span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Don't dismiss their concerns offhand. Don't rush to give advice. Don't change the subject. Allow people their moment!!!</span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Phew! Can you relate?</span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Nutty Jay</span></span>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-83212072340040788612014-10-30T03:29:00.000-07:002014-10-30T03:29:37.355-07:00Efe & Tochi- To love againEfe was raised in Nigeria, schooled in UNIBEN, worked with SAIPEM Lagos, handsome, God fearing, hard working, focused young man. After his second year with SAIPEM he met Tochi, a student of Convenant university, pursued her, and soon after started dating her. She was in 300 Level.<br /><br />Efe was in love, and when he is in love he is in love. He is not the type to womanize, he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke. He did all the things a boyfriend would do financially, morally, sexually, etc for his girl. They dated till she graduated, served, and after her service she went to Canada to pursue a Masters degree. Efe supported this move, because he is an over achiever himself and he encourages anything that makes those associated with him progress. So she went and &nbsp;from Nigeria he did everything possible to support her, kept the conversation going, sends money in hard currency to cater for some things she wanted...monthly basis. Never stopped calling, got a visa and was to travel to visit her on his next leave.<br /><br />Long story short, over a silly quarrel on phone she called off the relationship, did not agree to all his plea, plus the plea by his family member. She left him. She damaged him emotionally for his next girlfriend and the next. He was never the same again emotionally.<br /><br />A year six months &nbsp;later he quit his job, got admission into a university in Singapore to study for his masters<br /><br />Six months into his study (thats like two years after the break up) she's been calling and begging to come back, she's sorry...truely sorry and wants a chance. Her family has been calling to beg too, he said it's not possible because he feels nothing any longer for her. She asked to come see him...after much persuasion he agreed and she has travelled down to his country and has been there for a week now. She stays in a hotel, he visits her, takes her out, hasn't shagged or kissed her so that he doesn't give her false hope.<br /><br /><br />The following conversation took place today:<br /><br />Me: So how are you guys now, emotionally<br /><br />Him: <b>We are good I guess. She wants to come back visiting in February</b> <i>(this visit is from Canada to Singapore)</i><br /><i><br /></i>Me: You...how are you in it<br /><br />Him: <b>Just normal, but we talk better now</b><br /><b><br /></b>Me: You think there is hope for you both?<br /><br />Him: <b>Honestly can't say for now, we are good friends with mutual respect...but I think she is truely sorry, however I am a tough nut. Maybe in the future her genuiness will be proven, but at the moment, nothing</b><br /><b><br /></b>Me: It doesn't work like that dear<br />Me: You are making it sound like a business deal... I'll give you two options how it goes in real life, you can pick one<br /><br />Scenerio 1: <i>'I like her, and if she is really sorry about what went down in the past, then I would give this a try, because I'm sure I will love her again. So lets see how it goes'</i><br /><i><br /></i>Scenario 2: <i>I like her, and she's really sorry about what went down in the past, but nah... I don't want to be with her anymore. it doesn't matter...all I can give her now or ever is just friendship&nbsp;</i><br /><i><br /></i>Me: Do you get? it is not a function of how sorry or not she is, or if she is genuine or not. It is a function of you and what you want and are willing to risk for it. If not you will always be close to the exit door, always watching and waiting to see if she will slip again. And that's not right<br /><br />Him: <b>I like her no doubt, but we will be better as friends</b><br /><br />Me: Then don't keep hope alive, If you encourage her to come back in February, you are keeping hope alive<br /><br />Him: <b>Her decision, not mine</b><br /><br />Me: Efe, please be reasonable, this is your decision. Stand in her shoes, not everyone is as emotionally stable as you, or practical<br /><br />Him: <b>Well I tried discouraging her from coming back, she said she likes singapore and spending two weeks in february isn't a bad idea. Its her call</b><br /><br />Me: You should have experience by now that girls talk alot of things but mean something else entirely<br /><br />Him: <b>At this point I can't influence her decision, I honestly I have spoken to her about it.&nbsp;</b><br /><br />Me: Think about it, if you are not in Singapore in February, will she come? It's not about Singapore, its you she is coming to see you<br /><br />Him: <b>Well I know, she is trying to work her way back, if she comes and remains disappointed I'm sure she will give up</b><br /><br />Me: Is there a way back? If there is a way back no problem, let her try. But if there is no way back, save her the agony. Stop it Efe, what is wrong with you.<br /><br />Him: <b>Make we leave Tochi matter, its not an issue to deliberate on</b><br /><br />Me: Not my issue to deliberate on...because really you might be saying one thing and feel something else that you are not acknowledging. So while I'm here worrying about her, she may have sensed a promise for the future and won't be disappointed after all. Your life, her life..totally not my business.<br /><br /><br /><u>Question</u><br /><br />1. What the heck is he doing? Is he really going to let her keep travelling up and down to try and salvage the situation, making her hope something will come of her endeavours especially since he knows theres no way they will ever have happily ever after? Isn't that wickedness somehow?<br /><br />2. Is he just putting up a front and saying one thing whereas he feels another thing? And maybe he secretly &nbsp;hopes they work out.<br /><br /><br />I used to think I understood how guys think and do their stuff....but this is totally out of my league. Maybe because Efe has never been like the regular guys out there, he isn't all about sex and the next available girl. He is very straight forward and go gets whatever he wants...so I can't understand what he is doing. I hate to think he is being wicked on purpose...deliberately leading her on. <br /><br />So maybe it's a guy thing and someone can make me understand better... I can't rest joor... he's my favourite person and I don't want to think he is being callous<br /><br />What do you guys think...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-28097050458915292122014-10-24T04:56:00.000-07:002014-10-24T04:56:39.417-07:00Scandal- What the hell?I don't understand what Shonda RHIMES hopes to achieve by the twists and turns in Scandal and what exactly is her opinion of us the viewers.<br /><br />Today I watched Episode 5 Season 4... yeah I know, stealing company's time, watching a movie while acting like I'm working. &nbsp;It happens sometimes<br /><br />But I'm so upset. Who the hell does Commander think he is to mess people's life like he does? Infact I'm tired of these sick characters in the movie:<br /><br /><b>Olivia POPE</b>: Stupid black girl in love with a man she will never have, the cause of every single thing that has gone wrong in the life of every single person in that movie. Deceived time and time again by her father, and yet will not learn that he is a monster. Endangering the life of those she cares about because she can't see past her stupid love for Fitz. Serious Daddy issues she has...<br /><br /><b>President FITZ</b>: &nbsp;The biggest fool of all<br /><br /><b>Jake BALLARD</b>: In love with a woman that cannot seem to stop loving a man she can never be with. Endangering his life trying to <b>'save</b>' her from herself... Aproko that won't just leave things alone. Happy to be second in Olivia's heart. He gets an opportunity to tell the president everything during the interrogation but instead of just talking and spilling everything whether the president wan hear or not, he dey taunt the man about him having sex with Olivia on the Island. The fool deserves to die for even daring to threaten Commander.<br /><br /><b>Commander</b>: &nbsp;Ha... Commander who also happens to be Olivia's father is the only one who seems to know what he is doing!!! Wicked as ever, winning the election for the president because it's what Olivia wants, but killing the President's son to achieve it... then blaming Jake for it. After he had blamed Olivia's mother for it. Old evil calculating son o a... arghhhh<br /><br /><b>Millie</b>: &nbsp;Madam First Lady, nothing more. Jealous of Olivia...still<br /><br /><br />Shonda RHIMES, come on... I'm beginning to feel foolish watching Scandal, it's becoming more annonying than intriguing. It started out being intriguing...now it's getting too obvious and annoying. Your characters have too much sense to be doing the things you are making them do in Season 4. BALLARD isn't a fool, you are making him seem like one. Olivia isn't a fool, she fixes problems and so she knows always when things don't add up...but apparently she's believing her father's lies. You are distorting the Olivia we all know and love and turning her into a senseless woman too blinded by love to fix things.<br /><br />Stop insulting our intelligence... or kuku round up the movie if you don tire to think. And why the hell is <b>Cyrus</b> sleeping with a prostitute, and <b>Abby</b> the Abby who was Olivia's right hand, who knew how to get things done when she was a gladiator, why have you made Abby seem like a fish swimming in the sea of the White House, starry eyed, grateful &nbsp;if the president passes her a compliment and running around like a chicken wanting to be like Olivia. <b>Abby</b>??? Oh come on <i>*groans in pain*&nbsp;</i><br /><br />Hain!!!<br /><br />Mscheew<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-54612732013490032522014-10-02T09:38:00.001-07:002014-10-02T09:39:22.179-07:00The pursuit of money!!!!<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156371" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">Ah ha! Money. Let's talk about money. So I was sitting still the other day, on monday I think, viewing my account statement for September and it struck me like lightening that the only inflow I had for the entire month was the salary inflow. The same happened in August.... no daddy deposit, no mummy deposit, no sugar/honey deposit, no friend or family deposit, no enemy deposits sef...and I literarily felt like crying. I used to have people just credit my account for no reason sometimes...they tell me to just take for fine-girl-up-keep. Now for two months no 'dash'. I couldn't risk checking July statement for fear that it's the same.&nbsp;</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156382" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156373" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156375" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">I began to think of other avenues to make money. This waking up 4pm because of work thingy isn't something I want to still be doing when I'm in my 40s nah...and I got thinking, and was thinking hard (<i>yea I try to make sure I squeeze at least 30mins everyday to shut every noise and just think, one hour at most</i>) and it hit me that I am not very business inclined. I am more of a structured environment/office kinda work girl. This is a worrisome thing to know because shouldn't we all aspire to have businesses on the side? The irritating question I get asked often when I wonder aloud about this is:<b> 'JAY What do you like doing'?</b></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156384" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156386" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">Seriously? What sort of question is that... okay I like:</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156388" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156390" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">1. Eating</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156392" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">2. I like writing</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156394" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">3. I like the guy of the moment</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156396" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">4. I like fixing people's work issues</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">5. I like teaching/mentoring &nbsp;(What I know though about work related stuff)</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">6. I like cake</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">7. I like driving</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">8. I like fast cars</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">9. I like gazing at fine men</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">10. I like gazing at fine ladies</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">11. I like organizing other people's life</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">12. I like helping people find solution to their issues</div><div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156423" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156425" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">Mind you that list is in no particular order</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156427" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">But the question is how the heck am I supposed to start a business with any of these likes??? &nbsp;And then I get confused, and I stop thinking, and then I allow my mind wander away from my confused thoughts and turn them towards the <b>8am- 6pm</b> job...that I get to the office at<b> 6:15am</b> for and get home by <b>9pm</b>&nbsp;sometimes 10pm if the road is experiencing major traffic , and I thank God that I have a better job than the last job where they enjoy owing staff salary, and refuse to pay vendors too (May God forgive my ex employers)&nbsp;</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">But I don't know mehnnnnn.... I really need another source of income. I'm at that age where I need multiple streams of income.&nbsp;</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">Happy Belated Independence Day</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;">Nutty Jay</div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412233754275_156418" style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.3999996185303px;"><br /></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-79968444192655833052014-08-01T05:52:00.001-07:002015-12-17T04:02:31.151-08:00Seeking My Love For Life <div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192095" style="background-color: white;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192100" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192114" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">So just when i prayed to God to give me a heart to love and receive love, I had my prayers answered and a month later I find my self loving and being loved by two (2) guys.&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192102" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192112" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">Not two bastards, or one good guy and one bastard, nah....two responsible good men that love me without question.&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192104" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192110" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">This past month I've been at a place where I feel like either God is playing a practical joke on me or the devil just wants to set me up.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192106" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><b>There is EP</b> who i met first and on LinkedIn. ..He is Nigerian, &nbsp;worked six years in the banking industry and decided to go further his studies abroad...We've never met in person but we bridge the gap by skyping, &nbsp;chatting, phone calls etc regardless of the 9 hours time difference. He is good looking, intelligent, principled, doesn't drink or smoke or womanize, so focused on his career and all he wants to achieve. He is the kind of person that commits and doesn't look back except by a divine intervention. He does have a sense of humor too. 70% of our conversation centres around work, school, work, future ambition and work. I think that's okay...right? He is the kind of guy I've always looked for, someone whose own ambitions go side by side mine and who drives me to be better. As in I leave every conversation with him with a determination to be better. And I do better. He is good at reading my every mood, encouraging me, he is a great guy like that. He has made plans to come visiting in November, and when he rounds up in May he will relocate back to Nigeria full time. EP is 31 years old&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192108" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><b>Exactly one month later I met Cee</b>...okay that's not entirely true. I've known him for two years, but in passing, we take the same courses together...but I only began talking to him July 5th 2014...at a party we both attended. &nbsp;What can I tell you about CEE... He is good looking, intelligent, focused, tender hearted... oh so tender hearted and its scary how we think alike and almost always talk alike and have same likes and dislikes. I don't get tired of talking to him... I can see him 26 hours of every 24hour day and I still want to see more of him. I get jealous sometimes over him...but it is a pure friendship...one devoid of lust, or anything of such. For once in a very long time I actually worry about another person's welfare daily...the way he cares about me and wants to do everything to make me happy is something you can see he is not faking, how he wants to know my opinion about certain things etc. I talk with CEE and I can tell him anything, Something happens or does not happen I want to call CEE and tell him, just exactly as he does with me. And we help each other with work, he is also a Human Resource Executive. Cee is a man with a purpose and a future and he acts like I am the best thing that has happened to him for a long time. There is an innocence to the way he lives life. CEE is 30 years old</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--zXTG4ZzRUA/U9uJT-UYniI/AAAAAAAAAjw/wQl4xDNh9FA/s1600/t%C3%A9l%C3%A9chargement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--zXTG4ZzRUA/U9uJT-UYniI/AAAAAAAAAjw/wQl4xDNh9FA/s1600/t%C3%A9l%C3%A9chargement.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><u><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></u></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><u><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></u></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><u><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">MISGIVINGS</span></u></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><u><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></u></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">1. EP strikes me as the kind of person who hardly tolerate short comings in any form... and its kinda scary to know I always have to be on my 'A' game or else I would wear off his heart or woreva. Like if the thing might slow him down or he feels it might complicate his best laid plans, he would rather just stay away from such things... I don't know mehnnn maybe its my imagination</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">2. CEE just got out of an Eight year relationship, yeah he is that kind of one woman together forever guy. First she broke up with him early last year and they made up in December 2013, only for her to say she's really not ready for marriage and then broke &nbsp;up with him in May 2014. &nbsp;He swears his affections for me isn't a rebound, I want to believe this... but....</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><u>Conclusion</u></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><u><br /></u></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">Both men make me happy I cannot lie, both men are making future together ever after plans for me, both men connect with me intellectually and I an see its not about wanting to sleep with me.&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">Of recent I talk more with CEE, maybe because he is in Lagos Nigeria with me and we are on the same time zone or maybe because we share too much in common. Nevertheless I can't use that to judge because really the playing field is not even, considering the fact that EP doesn't have the same amount of time CEE has (its a nine hours time difference).&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">By the way I am not playing any of them, I told CEE that there is EP who I met before him and who is crazy about me, and I told EP about being distracted of recent. Both of them are still friends to me... I haven't committed to anyone biko don't judge me.&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">One reason I am not committing to any of these guys is because I really am not ready to make a mistake. I'm not some starry eyed teenager looking for '<b>The love of my life</b>' only... nah what I want is '<b>A love for life</b>'.&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">People of blogsville... how do you decide that he or she is the one for you, how do you know the one you let go isn't the one you should have chosen? I used to think I had experience in such matters, but this time, I am completely lost and I don't want to make this kind of decision based only on my emotions.&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">Help!! Because I just might run away from the both of them.&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><br /></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">*sad face*</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;">Nutty Jay.&nbsp;</span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406875804930_192123" style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: &quot;helvetica neue&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , &quot;helvetica&quot; , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-78276687966959106102014-06-24T10:01:00.001-07:002014-06-24T10:01:18.365-07:00SUPERMAN IS THE SUPER HERO- NOT SUPER WOMAN Today I am sleepy, I have been sleepy since I woke up, I am not working at normal capacity today because my body, mind and spirit has done nothing else except think of sleep of day. I'm practically fighting to stay awake. &nbsp;On days like this I thank God I am a super woman with super powers.<div><br /></div><div>Now why is my body screaming for sleep? Its because I tend to forget that even superwoman is first and foremost a woman, she's human and she &nbsp;is made up of flesh and blood. So I joyfully wake up 4am, leave the house 5:30am drive to work in an hours traffic, leave the office 8pm drive back in 2 hours traffic; get home 10pm, chat chat chat and chat on BBM with different people and skype when I can with Australia, then sleep like 11:30pm or 12midnight...to wake again by 4am</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Is this wise</i>? <b>NO</b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>Is this profitable</i>? <b>Dunno</b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>Do I do this everyday</i>? <b>Mostly</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><i>Do I think I can do it all</i>? <b>YES</b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>Who do I think I am</i>? <b>Superwoman</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vA4f57xi_qc/U6mnhqmXLFI/AAAAAAAAAjM/fsf6flcB9pk/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vA4f57xi_qc/U6mnhqmXLFI/AAAAAAAAAjM/fsf6flcB9pk/s1600/images.jpg" height="271" width="400" /></a></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div>You know that thing that makes you feel you can do everything and anything and you have the strength to also take on other people's worries for them, add it to yours and help them worry and fix their issues, and still go about doing all your own stuff? I don't know the name for it, but I know that's the thing that makes you a mother of all but a friend of none. The burden bearer, the sabi sabi that people only remember when they have issues and after you have sorted it out for them they go about their merry lives and forget you while you get sucked in to the next problem to fix...thus you are always busy, never have the time to just chill with normal people, people without issues avoid you because guess what? you can't even talk normal and this is due to the fact that you always have a superior or better opinion about everything even in a playful conversation. You try to fix everyone and anyone you meet... We know people like this right? Irritating and very annoying people!!! For heaven's sake your opinion is not always needed....arggggghhhhhh shut up&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><i>NUTTY JAY will you allow yourself become like this</i>? <b>Heck NO</b>&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div><i>You sure? </i><b>I'm sure</b>.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div><i>There really is nothing wrong in being a damsel in distress once in a while you know? &nbsp;</i><b>You are so right</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Why didn't I think of that&nbsp;</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Merci Beaucoup</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-22900833067379159012014-06-06T12:00:00.001-07:002014-06-06T12:00:40.559-07:00Why You Must Marry Before You Begin to Age Like Milk...hahahaha...okay those are not my words, some guy I used to know actually put some ish up on his blackberry PM that said '<i>...I'm tired of all these lagos girls that age like milk</i>'. That was the day I began to unlike him<div><br /></div><div>The reason for this post is to highlight the advantages of marrying early. All my female readers, especially those &nbsp;below the age of 26, kindly take note</div><div><br /></div><div>1. No heeediot will indirectly tell you that you are aging like milk</div><div><br /></div><div>2. No family member will abuse you saying '<i>your shakara too much, you never really ready to settle yet</i>' all because you refused to date a man without a job one aunt is trying to match make &nbsp;you with</div><div><br /></div><div>3. Your single status will not be the prayer point in every family function</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B3Sebldz9Ac/U5INlXZ6FiI/AAAAAAAAAig/zNM0SNwfzmk/s1600/449aad85cb604e9434e59f3918c8cdd3b48788b7_LargeWide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B3Sebldz9Ac/U5INlXZ6FiI/AAAAAAAAAig/zNM0SNwfzmk/s1600/449aad85cb604e9434e59f3918c8cdd3b48788b7_LargeWide.jpg" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>4. You will not be at the office from 6:30am till 8:30pm because there is no one to go home to</div><div><br /></div><div>5. You will not be doing character check every time you have a smart retort for some nonsense some man has spewed from his mouth all in the name of '<i>be polite, you never know if he is the one</i>'</div><div><br /></div><div>6. You will not be abused for uploading pictures of yourself &nbsp;by friends and family who point it out to you that your married friends upload pictures of their family members while you are busy posing on your dp alone</div><div><br /></div><div>7. You will not go home after a hard day's work to a cold and empty house with no one to share the experience of your day with</div><div><br /></div><div>8. You will not mentally count your remaining eggs after every monthly flow... *coughs*</div><div><br /></div><div>9. You will not be the one in the family they tell '<i>my daughter will soon be too big to be your little bride ooo</i>'&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>10. You will not be the one people greet every time they see you with a hand shake and words of &nbsp;'<i>this year is your year, we will come and eat your rice</i>'</div><div><br /></div><div>The list is endless, but ladies... let me share one more thing with you. If you start dating a guy hoping it will melt into marriage all well and good, if you are 25 and under. &nbsp;But for those above this age and are facing serious pressure from friends and family and from movies gan, and you really are ready to enter into the beautiful world of marriage, you don't have time for such 'either or' games where you are testing waters. Simple question to ask after the fifth date is this: <b>ARE YOU THE ONE WE ARE WAITING FOR OR SHOULD WE EXPECT ANOTHER?</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cwHwTNqABqk/U5IOFfZ3UrI/AAAAAAAAAio/QGqnV-EOn9c/s1600/beyonce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cwHwTNqABqk/U5IOFfZ3UrI/AAAAAAAAAio/QGqnV-EOn9c/s1600/beyonce.jpg" height="240" width="400" /></a></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div>You know more advantages of marrying early in Nigeria? Please share with us</div><div><br /></div><div>Happy Weekend :)</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Nutty Jay&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-28223965230377590472014-05-28T07:38:00.000-07:002014-05-28T07:38:28.185-07:00Who killed your Individuality????<div class="vk_ans" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large !important; font-weight: lighter !important; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span data-dobid="hdw">individuality</span></div><div style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.600000381469727px;"><div class="lr_dct_ent_ph" style="color: #222222; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="lr_dct_ph">ˌɪndɪvɪdjʊˈalɪti/</span><span class="lr_dct_spkr lr_dct_spkr_off" data-log-string="pronunciation-icon-click" jsaction="dob.p" style="display: inline-block; height: 16px; margin: 0px 2px 4px 5px; opacity: 0.55; vertical-align: middle; width: 16px;" title="Listen"><input height="14" src="data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAA4AAAAOCAQAAAC1QeVaAAAAi0lEQVQokWNgQAYyQFzGsIJBnwED8DNcBpK+DM8YfjMUokqxMRxg+A9m8TJsBLLSEFKMDCuBAv/hCncxfGWQhUn2gaVAktkMXkBSHmh0OwNU8D9csoHhO4MikN7BcAGb5H+GYiDdCTQYq2QubkkkY/E6CLtXdiJ7BTMQMnAHXxFm6IICvhwY8AYQLgCw2U9d90B8BAAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==" type="image" width="14" /></span></span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><div class="lr_dct_sf_h" style="color: #222222; padding-top: 10px;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">noun</span></i></div><div class="xpdxpnd vk_gy" data-mh="-1" style="-webkit-transition: max-height 0.3s initial initial; color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important; max-height: 0px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s initial initial;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b></b></span></div><ol class="lr_dct_sf_sens" style="border: 0px; color: #222222; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><li style="border: 0px; line-height: 1.2; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="lr_dct_sf_sen vk_txt" style="font-weight: lighter !important; padding-top: 10px;"><div style="float: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><strong>1</strong>.</span></div><div style="margin-left: 20px;"><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, especially when strongly marked.</span></div><div class="vk_gy" style="color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"clothes with real style and individuality"</span></div></div></div></li><li style="border: 0px; line-height: 1.2; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="vk_gy" style="color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Sym: uniqueness,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.google.com.ng/search?es_sm=93&amp;q=define+originality&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=FcKFU_-lGcGa0AXw8IHQBw&amp;ved=0CCoQ_SowAA" style="color: #660099; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">originality</a>,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.google.com.ng/search?es_sm=93&amp;q=define+singularity&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=FcKFU_-lGcGa0AXw8IHQBw&amp;ved=0CCsQ_SowAA" style="color: #660099; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">singularity</a>,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.google.com.ng/search?es_sm=93&amp;q=define+particularity&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=FcKFU_-lGcGa0AXw8IHQBw&amp;ved=0CCwQ_SowAA" style="color: #660099; cursor: pointer;">particularity</a>,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.google.com.ng/search?es_sm=93&amp;q=define+peculiarity&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=FcKFU_-lGcGa0AXw8IHQBw&amp;ved=0CC0Q_SowAA" style="color: #660099; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">peculiarity</a>,distinctiveness,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.google.com.ng/search?es_sm=93&amp;q=define+distinction&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=FcKFU_-lGcGa0AXw8IHQBw&amp;ved=0CC4Q_SowAA" style="color: #660099; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">distinction</a>,&nbsp;differentness</span></div></li></ol><div><span style="color: #878787; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #878787; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is often said that there is that one (or two or three) thing about us that makes us different from every other person... that makes us unique.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That thing that makes you stand out. That quality you possess that make others remember you long after you leave the room<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wonder if anyone over the age of 25 especially in Nigeria still possess their special quality. Or at least still possesses all of theirs. The illusion of social acceptance has robbed us of our Individuality, of even the memory of how we used to be. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Social acceptance is profound...its number three on the hierarchy of needs of every individual. After psychological need and the safety need comes the need for social acceptance; Maslow refers to it as 'a need for love and belonging' <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How subtly we go from who we are to who others think we should be, and begin to act how others feel comfortable with us acting around them… and we reason that this is fine so long as they accept us and we belong to them and they show us love. So what &nbsp;if I have an opinion different from others, it doesn’t matter, what matters is checking first to make sure those we receive love from agree with the proposed opinion.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vtaM-xObuFE/U4XxO8vURFI/AAAAAAAAAiI/VebfUU_wTE4/s1600/celebrating-individuality.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vtaM-xObuFE/U4XxO8vURFI/AAAAAAAAAiI/VebfUU_wTE4/s1600/celebrating-individuality.jpg" height="292" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>So what &nbsp;if</i> I want to have my dessert before the main dish? Nah we reason that it isn’t socially acceptable…so far be it from me to be caught with a piece of cake before I have eaten my vegetables<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>So what if</i> I prefer pants to dresses, it doesn’t matter, the culture you have noticed in your place of work suggests that you look more serious wearing a dress…oh and it doesn’t matter that the company’s policy doesn’t dictate either ways, you just know you’ll blend in better with dresses, you just might have to learn to wear heels often and practice your leg crossing better<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>So what if</i> my idea of a good evening is relaxing at a lounge like <b>Mouse Pad</b> in Lekki phase 1 with soft classic music and a calm ambience because that’s the environment you need to unwind after a long day’s work? Well it doesn’t matter what you want because you are considered boring if you don’t prefer one of the other alternatives that have music blaring to ‘<i>Surulere</i>’ ‘<i>Your waist your waist all I want is your waist</i>’. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I remember a friend, I don’t know what we were anyways, we were in probation stage of &nbsp;dating,<strike> sort of.. I think</strike>… arghhhh!!! I had gone for his birthday, was the first to arrive and after sometime his intercom rang and he was informed another guest was on her way in… he said okay, then turned to me and ever so smugly he said:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #ea9999;">&nbsp;</span><span style="color: #cc0000;">‘<i>Chichi is coming in, she’s my friend, please don’t embarrass my friends</i>’</span>&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Honestly till today I don’t know what that was supposed to mean. All I was doing at that point was flipping the channels while I was eating chicken pepper soup. Fast forward two hours later like 9:30pm after all his guest had arrived and we had eaten and drank and it was time for me to leave… he walked me to my car and hugged me and said:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">&nbsp;<span style="color: #cc0000;">‘<i>wow you got along so well with my friends and you blended well with them, thank you so much</i></span>’ or something and in my head I’m like ‘<i><b>what the hell? I was sitting there all this time being there for you and you were watching hoping and praying I don’t embarrass you with your friends??? Seriously who gives a Sugar Honey Iced Tea</b></i>’ but I responded with a smile and I left.&nbsp;</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But the thoughts of that day still linger till now, I’m sure if my head isn’t correct I’d have found myself thinking:… <i>how do I act to please and talk and shit and moan and eat to please and not to embarrass this guy and his friends, then his family and then our kids</i>.&nbsp; OLORUN MA JE OOOOO<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You see the more we try to blend, the more we give up one unique thing about us each time. Very soon you would not remember if you like your eggs boiled or fried or raw. You just become so used to being like others that even you will not remember what is unique about you. When you get to that stage, don’t expect others (Boss, wife, husband, pastor, kids, client etc) to think you have anything different to offer them than the average person. You are just like every other person. Someone to be forgotten</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UeWE2XBEago/U4Xx8esldfI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/pc3W9VcTl3Q/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UeWE2XBEago/U4Xx8esldfI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/pc3W9VcTl3Q/s1600/images.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Social acceptance is profound, its key and its all the things it is… but it’s not worth giving up your individuality for. The world is a very big place, so if MR(S) A isn’t comfortable with who you are and what you stand for and can’t accept you like that, move to the next person (or office or church or mosque or city or house) and the next and the next till you find who accepts you as you are.&nbsp;</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don’t give up your individuality just because doing so makes another person more at ease to relate with you on their terms.&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Take pride in whatever it is that makes you different. Individuality is what divides you from the rest.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy Democracy Day in advance&nbsp;</span></div></div><div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; text-align: left;"><br /></div></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-40859225396715466762014-05-09T11:49:00.001-07:002014-05-09T11:49:48.972-07:00Bokoharam Is Not The Enemy<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let us be truthful and call a spade a spade for once in this country... we have far far bigger enemies than the so called sect names #Bokoharam.&nbsp;</span><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From what I remember in the latest spam message MTN sent me, Nigeria gained Independence in 1960 and became a republic in 1963, and since then we have not had a moments peace in this country. If it is not one coup after another, it is Biafra and if its not that it is some dark shade wearing dictator, then to corrupt politicians then the fuel subsidy unrest to the APC and PDP's battle of wits everyday in our news papers and bloody battles behind the scenes... and many old power hungry men and more nonsense I don't have the time to recall.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my opinion, the white man left us alone to our devices way too early, we learnt nothing about Administration, we learnt nothing about Economics, we know nil about Management and least of all we know nothing about social&nbsp;empathy. Oh yes we have all the degrees in the world because our society places emphasis on paper, but having all the degrees in the world doesn't buy us common sense, it doesn't make us human... it doesn't teach us love. It just makes us one big society filled with Educated&nbsp;illiterates&nbsp;..&nbsp;illiterate&nbsp;that celebrate mediocrity. I'll explain...so hold that thought.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">It's not news that Patience Jonathan has no command of the English Language. Infact I doubt if the First Lady has had proper education. However that's no news</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">It's still no news that she has not tried to improve herself (as a person occupying the position of first lady) from the incoherent English she manages to spew from time to time. .. and that's such a shame on both her and the president.&nbsp;But that's old news</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">The bigger shame though is that Nigerians, residing in this safe-less, insecure, corrupt mess of a country (where children are killed on a daily basis...where 234 girls can be picked from their school and held hostage for three weeks and counting...) would rather crack jokes about the obvious (madam's English) during her speech at the conference she held, than try to focus on the reason she called the meeting in the first place.&nbsp;</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">Back to that thought you are holding, I bet if the First Lady of the United States had given a similar speech albeit in perfect American English&nbsp;we will clap loud in adoration, tweet about it, many will say '</span><i><span style="color: blue;">oh what a fine lady</span></i><span style="color: #222222;">'. Because that is what we celebrate. Michelle's speech will be deftly delivered and half of her message lost during the process because guess what??? half of the citizens of Nigeria won't even understand what she said. But we won't mind...na those kine things dey totori us.&nbsp;</span></span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oYRDwKxWRyU/U20i04JHwQI/AAAAAAAAAhk/QWPaZSD24Yg/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oYRDwKxWRyU/U20i04JHwQI/AAAAAAAAAhk/QWPaZSD24Yg/s1600/images.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222;">Madam has delivered her speech in a way she understands, yes she could have done better than that, but she didnt... what she did do however is &nbsp;talk in the language that every Nigerian understands, including the market women, the fish sellers, the palm wine tappers, the farmer, the PhD holder, the graduate of English, the lawyer, the engineer, even the 9 year old child can understand, but what do we do? We laugh about it, we call her names, we make T-shirts that read '</span><span style="color: blue;"><i>there is god oooo</i>'. </span>And I wonder, how does this jest and merry making at Madame's expense &nbsp;#<b>bringbackourgirls</b>. If you make a joke about it the first and second day I can understand it because it was funny....but seriously till now? And we say we are intelligent? BAH!!!</span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nigerians in Nigeria are we normal at all? &nbsp;A country where we can't empathize? A people who are so intelligent that they look only towards making mockery of other people's inadequacies whereas their country ranks amongst the top unsafe countries? There is an issue on ground and till now we are still laughing at Patience?</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Boko Haram is not the enemy,<b> the black man is the enemy of himself</b>...we are our own poison in this nation.&nbsp;</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">What a joke of a people.... really, there is God</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Nutty Jay</span></span></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-57953542352842462672014-04-28T01:02:00.001-07:002014-04-28T01:02:48.613-07:00Honesty will kill your prospects for that jobI like that saying: '<i>Honesty is my best policy</i>', although recent revelations has taught me not to trust anyone who says that every time, because it just means he/she has a lot of other policies; good, bad, ugly, better and then the best policy. Nah....that's an untrustworthy person<br /><br />Back to getting the job...or not. In my position as Human Resource officer I have conducted a handful of interviews and you will be amazed at just how silly some people can be in their attempt to keep every thing honest. Don't get me wrong I like everything laid out on the table, but in my opinion you lay your cards all out when you've got all the aces.<br /><br />So what do I propose you do?<br /><br /><b>Fake it!!! Until you make it.</b><br /><br />For instance I am currently trying to recruit for the position of HR/ADMIN officer, and if it were left to me alone, as a psychologist, I would pick the best fit for the job from among the candidates who have come in thus far. But its not up to me alone, because also seated during these interview sessions is the <b>External HR Consultant</b> and my <b>COO</b>....and my MD at the last stage. Yes ke...it is a very sensitive position.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uJUwWROqPCA/U14ImNpKwnI/AAAAAAAAAhU/yIAIRhCrAKE/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uJUwWROqPCA/U14ImNpKwnI/AAAAAAAAAhU/yIAIRhCrAKE/s1600/download.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div><br />My concern is this, those with all the ability to do the job well and learn and grow with the organization if selected, are the ones who decide that honesty is the way to go. No!!! your employer wants to know what you know about the role, what you have done in that position and how you will be of value in filling this vacant position in their organization. Yes its not your fault that the operations in your former company (for instance in HR/ADMIN) differ greatly from this new company, but it is not for you to point it out...eg:<br /><br />''<b><span style="color: blue;">...<i>well I didn't handle that part of human resources, we had a recruiter for that, and also we had a lady in charge of handling personnel benefits and rewards, training/development was at the discretion of management and they initiated it...what I do in my current company is personnel management, making sure the payroll bla bla bla and they come to work on time or initiate disciplinary action bla bla</i></span></b>''<br /><br />That's the point, you don't have to be painfully honest!!! because if thats your response above, you therefore don't know <strike>shit </strike>&nbsp;very much about the job!!! Yes your former job may not have allowed you the luxury of beings fully hands-on on majority of all that make up Human Resource Management, but since you know you can do it if given the chance, it is your responsibility to do a 3 hour crash course with whoever can help you, study what it takes to do the job, pray for direction and then go and call the bluff of the interviewer.<br /><br />''...<i><b><span style="color: magenta;">part of my job description includes recruitment, where by it is my responsibility to match suitable personnel for any vacant position in the organization, personnel training and development are also key areas in my function and this I do side by side with management by identifying areas where staff can be trained to better improve on their job to give them a competitive edge... I also am in charge of payroll administration and I do this together with the financial manager to ensure that tax, pension, loans and any other deductions are properly done. I have an assistant who is in charge of &nbsp;health insurance for staff as well as the other insurances, I oversee his work etc etc etc</span></b></i>'<br /><br />Now note... these are some of the functions of Human Resource Management, you can subtly leave out Strategy planning and all those other harder stuff, but come on don't tell us you were not hands on the common areas of the job and you expect we would say '<b><i>no problem, thanks for your honesty, you got the job</i></b>' no be so ooo.<br /><br />Every employer as much as possible want to know that you are coming in to add value, if they have to train you on the common aspects of the job, then they might as well train someone already within the organization. Your prospective employer need to have confidence in your ability to do the job even better than the last person did.<br /><br />It is your job to know about the job functions of the title you bear (Mechanical Engineer, Chemical Engineer, HR professional, Business Development Manager etc)....so talk your title. Whether or not you were responsible for every aspect of the job in your former place is of no consequence to your new employer... TALK EVERY ASPECT...<strike>when you get in, you will learn the practical</strike>. Talk your way in first<br /><br />I don't think that is being dishonest. Do you?<br /><br /><br />Nutty JayNutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-69417545674739361572014-03-27T07:41:00.001-07:002014-03-27T07:41:14.764-07:00Understanding Office Politics II...welcome to the concluding part of this topic. If you didn't get the first part, click <a href="http://nuttyjay.blogspot.com/">here</a><br /><br /><b><u>Learn How To Speak</u></b><br />There is a technique to using words in the office, I used to be an advocate of '<i>say it as it is after all you are right</i>'... nah, that doesn't pay you, as a matter of fact it could take pay outta your pocket. Choose who you confide in very carefully, and do not make comments about other work colleagues, about your company, about your BOSS except the person you are talking to has a lot more to lose if it gets to the wrong ears. Don't you know that the only way some people can rise is by pulling others down? Don't let your loose lips sink you. Keep your words few<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LOkL38QzRqs/UzQ4Ib9MW8I/AAAAAAAAAhA/q8NeV9hqvbs/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LOkL38QzRqs/UzQ4Ib9MW8I/AAAAAAAAAhA/q8NeV9hqvbs/s1600/images.jpg" height="212" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /><b><u>You Can't Change The System</u></b><br />Oh dear, you really can't. Except you knock it down, and rebuild it which I must say isn't why you were hired. By all means add value to where ever you find yourself , give the best you can to influence your work circle positively...but you must shake off that idea that you can change the system, one person cannot change the system, it is not possible and it is not necessary. What you can do is leave the system when it begins to tamper with your values and self esteem.<br /><br /><br /><b><u>Be Patient</u></b><br />This is the part where you need to exercise patience...when you've played the game thus far, and played it well, take a sit and watch things unfold. You can't be seen to be too eager, desperation is suspicious. Exercise patience and control yourself, just wait. Its a virtue<br /><br /><u><b>Exit</b></u><br />I'm not saying quit your job, all i'm saying is that there is an exit door. The beauty about this whole thing is knowing that there are other places to work. Lesser places, better places, either ways you can always leave. When you begin to compromise your values (corporately) for a paycheck, very soon you will lose your voice. Before it gets there, always know that you can walk out.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-n5mB6Sahj6U/UzQ3n4MNypI/AAAAAAAAAg4/gijEyDCFpqE/s1600/2009-10-21-office-politics1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-n5mB6Sahj6U/UzQ3n4MNypI/AAAAAAAAAg4/gijEyDCFpqE/s1600/2009-10-21-office-politics1.jpg" height="297" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br />But what if you don't want to play? What if you just want to do your job well, keep your head above water and just stay away from the shenanigans? Well like I said in the first part, that kind of behaviour will only make you a victim of war.<br /><br />Office politics are inevitable, learn to adapt and manipulate <strike>people </strike>&nbsp;circumstances in order to have a successful work life, &nbsp;but whatever you do, be decent enough not to throw someone else under the bus for your own advancement. Do not lose your morals and values in the process.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">THE END</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Nutty Jay</div><br /><br /><br />Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-82969185949463236142014-03-18T09:32:00.003-07:002014-03-18T09:44:33.380-07:00Understanding Office Politics<b>Fact</b>: Not everyone will enjoy their work life experience. No matter how good the job is.<br /><br />Job satisfaction does not come as a result of your remuneration or benefits (or lack of it) or from performance incentives only. Satisfaction from the job can be gotten through the apt application of the fine art of this wonderful concept called OFFICE POLITICKING<br /><b><br /></b><b>Office Politics </b>are the strategies that people play to gain advantage, personally or for a cause they support... it is a fact of life of every organization. Maybe because of the negative connotation attached to it is the reason new employees or pious people tend to shrug their shoulders and say '<i>Well I cant get into office poiltics, I'll just do my work and keep my head down</i>'. News Flash: <b>You are that employee who would find it very easy to be frustrated on the job.&nbsp;</b><br /><br />Office politics is a game you play in order to get and do those things that are unwritten in the office policy, its the game you play to jump the lines and bureaucracies and even some unwritten due processes.... its a game played by 90% of the staff in an organization from the Managing Director to the COO to the office assistants. Ignoring it, or denying it or avoiding it is just tantamount to living in a fools paradise because &nbsp;whether you acknowledge it or not, it is happening around and over you and if you are not careful you will be a victim of war...the casual observers get chewed and spat out first.<br /><br />No organization has unlimited resources that can go round everyone equally, first is for you to know this and accept it that some people will get more than others, whether they deserve it or not is a matter of opinion...your opinion I mean. However to be amongst those who gets a fair share from the company, you need to know how to play the game of making the politics at your work place <i>work</i>&nbsp;for you.<br /><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nk_st71rPuY/Uyhy1296c5I/AAAAAAAAAgo/08OH-rkOcrk/s1600/office+politics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nk_st71rPuY/Uyhy1296c5I/AAAAAAAAAgo/08OH-rkOcrk/s1600/office+politics.jpg" height="320" width="312" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Swim along.... or be eaten alive</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><u><b>Build Relationships</b></u><br />Before you rush head in into building relationships you must first identify the key players in the organization: Influencers, those in authority, the leader of the grapevine, the custodian of sensitive information etc. Identify those who one way or the other your relationship with them can help your growth in the organization, then build relationship with them. A phone call every now and then outside of office work wont kill you, a cocktail after office hours wont bankrupt you. Actively taking part in out of office activities with your colleague is how relationships are built. You have to build your visibility with the people who could be directly and/or indirectly responsible for your uprising or downfall in the office, cultivate these relationships based on trust and by being dependable.<br /><br /><u><b>Share Information&nbsp;</b></u><br />Note this, I am not asking you to gossip anyhow, that can breed mistrust... what i'm saying is that giving a colleague an information that can help them with their job, is an act that will put them in your debts. '<i>Normally I wouldn't tell you this, however I think this will be of use to you...</i>' that's what i'm talking about. Not petty gossip on how your boss is a meanie or how Mr. A is stealing from the office<br /><br /><u><b>Conflict Management</b></u><br />Its bound to happen, don't take it personally...its business. Deal with the business issue that has caused the conflict and forget the rest. Don't return trash talk for trash talk...proving a point is at the long run a pointless exercise trust me. And on no account should you run to your boss to whine about your disagreement with another colleague, that's just you being a tale bearer or better yet, one who can't manage issues. That's bad dude. Except if you find out that your colleague is going to trash talk you to your boss, in which case you have to get to your boss first. But remember, the use of tact should come into play here: '<i>...oh by the way, Austin and I behaved rather poorly today, hmmm let me tell you about it'</i><br /><i><br /></i><b><u>Please those who matter</u></b><br />It was Bill Cosby who said ''<i>...I don't know the secret to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody'. </i>You can't please everybody...so don't try. However you need to satisfy those that matter, its hard trust me...when you have these strong conviction of what is right, what is best practice and you want to stand up for your colleague against your boss... DON'T. Take a deep breath, count to 20, and choose pleasing your Boss over your colleague. Its a cold cold world.<br /><br /><br />....to be continued<br /><br /><br /> Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-84151870408195262242014-03-13T04:48:00.001-07:002014-03-13T04:48:30.171-07:00I break that chain.......oh that chain that has held me bound from writing for almost 4 months!!! I degree and I declare that that chain is broken for ever and my hands and mind are free to put down thoughts in writing. In Jesus name!!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P4MKi79wgjc/UyGajkKUfwI/AAAAAAAAAgY/9c-f0YEHJ24/s1600/hands-breaking-chain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P4MKi79wgjc/UyGajkKUfwI/AAAAAAAAAgY/9c-f0YEHJ24/s1600/hands-breaking-chain.jpg" /></a></div><br /><br /><br />If you agree with me...say AMEN!!!<br /><br /><br />Nutty JayNutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-58802550417650301482013-12-02T07:58:00.000-08:002013-12-02T07:59:59.247-08:00An Effective Female Leader<div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">On one hand you are female and biology has blessed you with unnecessary emotions, extreme passions, a kind heart and a tendency to be more subjective than objective (most times)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><br /></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">On the other hand you are a leader, and social science demands you to be objective, steadfast, not one who gets easily excited and a person who can make right decisions regardless of whose ox is gored (yours included). A person in charge of others and situation</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BB4hSkZLwk0/Upyrwu5O8zI/AAAAAAAAAfw/MzX7J_WxaPM/s1600/Ms+Wrigth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="356" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BB4hSkZLwk0/Upyrwu5O8zI/AAAAAAAAAfw/MzX7J_WxaPM/s400/Ms+Wrigth.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">How do you blend being a woman and a leader in a corporate organization? <b>You don’t</b>. You are either a <i>woman</i> or a<i> leader.</i> You can’t be both at the same time. That’s if you want to keep your sanity.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">You cannot be a friend and an effective leader at the same time, you cannot be a mother to those you are in charge of and be in charge at the same time. You cannot aim to please everybody but still lead rightly at the same time. You cannot be reactive like a woman tends to be, instead you have to be proactive. You have to be flexible even when your will wants you to remain rigid on that subject. You need to be consistent even when your hormones are running here and there... you need to act like a man even as you think like a woman.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal">Being a successful female leader entails leaving the woman part of you at home, get the job done and go back home to her. You just can’t be effective being both a woman and a Leader at the same time. &nbsp;I don't think nature meant it so...</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kPOKSAe7l4k/Upys3NVHucI/AAAAAAAAAf8/C2ksn7ljV5k/s1600/images+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kPOKSAe7l4k/Upys3NVHucI/AAAAAAAAAf8/C2ksn7ljV5k/s400/images+(1).jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Its lonely at the top</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Nutty Jay.&nbsp;</div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com62tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-79497801575974106152013-10-18T09:01:00.000-07:002015-12-17T07:21:38.156-08:00Over ParentingHello everyone... I have decided to remain anonymous on this blog. Thank you for your input on the last blog post.<br /><div><br /></div><div>It just occurred to me that the root cause of some of the problems Nigeria is facing can be attributed to OVER PARENTING.</div><div><br /></div><div>This just occurred to me today after I had had an intense conversation with some people earlier in the day, then I got some calls over the same issue and I just wanted to scream!!! leave me the eff alone!!! what the f*ck is wrong with every body! every one has an opinion to give but for Christ sake just save yours sometimes!!! &nbsp;You make one decision and you have to subconsciously weigh it over:</div><div><br /></div><div><i>'hmmm...how will I present this now na, hope his mum wont think....'</i></div><div><i>'how will my mumsi take it'</i></div><div><i>'How will uncle X see it...will he think I am fooling myself'</i></div><div><i>'How will my people&nbsp;interpret&nbsp;this'</i></div><div><br /></div><div>...because if you don't weigh it like this before you act (right or wrong) you most likely will get a reaction from your parents and/or guardians or those who are '<i>wiser</i>' that will make you feel you are doing a stupid thing. A very stupid thing. &nbsp;Then you begin to second guess things, then take actions that will get you their approval, and another time you just don't bother to think for yourself. After all what are the chances that you will make the right decision.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>So its always easier to just run away from stuff, or hide things or just wait to get approval from the '<i>wise</i>' ones before you act. Therefore why are we complaining that those who were in power in Nigeria 30 years ago are still contesting for governorship or for presidency? Is it not because the next generation don't know how to go about making decisions without some old clout breathing down their neck with one opinion after the other and then another? So why not just leave it for them to continue running things since apparently they are ''all knowing'.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eMmIDFRf420/UmFZN0yXoBI/AAAAAAAAAeE/mtilHBEgXU0/s1600/kid-on-leashjpg-e9f6fb483c5eac71_medium.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eMmIDFRf420/UmFZN0yXoBI/AAAAAAAAAeE/mtilHBEgXU0/s1600/kid-on-leashjpg-e9f6fb483c5eac71_medium.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Overparenting= Bad Parenting</td></tr></tbody></table><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em !important; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: &quot;myriad pro&quot; , &quot;lucida sans unicode&quot; , &quot;lucida grande&quot; , &quot;tahoma&quot; , &quot;arial&quot; , sans-serif &quot;important&quot;; font-size: 14px;">In a&nbsp;<a href="http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/effects-children-overparenting-17496.html" style="color: #fd0f74; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Johns Hopkins study</a>, </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">hyper parenting was more closely related to increased anxiety in children than the mental health of the parent or parental rejection.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em !important; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>A mom who tries to control too much robs her child of valuable learning opportunities, including learning how to make decisions. Without these opportunities, children feel less confident and more anxious. Elevated anxiety has also been linked to depression and behavioral issues</i>. (</span><a href="http://www.modernmom.com/" style="background-color: transparent;">http://www.modernmom.com</a>)</div><div style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em !important; padding: 0px;">My point is this: Its just so bloody annoying that every single thing one does, even at this old age, still has to be turned into a mountain...a topic to be discussed and questioned about and to be deliberated on. NOT DOING ANYTHING seems easier as the day goes by.&nbsp;</div><div style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em !important; padding: 0px;">Allow your kids make their own mistakes, at least the ones that are not life altering or life threatening.... that's the only way they would learn.&nbsp;</div><div style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 1.5em !important; padding: 0px;">Nutty Jay</div></div>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128395659591300672.post-48223366151706837792013-10-10T02:35:00.001-07:002013-10-10T02:35:30.031-07:00To do or not to do<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Honestly when I started blogging, I needed the release of being able to write anonymously from my heart, every single thing I wanted to say or everything I do, I wanted to be free to write without fear of censure from those who know me in real life. Or that was what I thought was my reason for blogging from an anonymous platform.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">However…this morning, it just occurred to me that I’m probably just hiding. Hiding from the wrong things&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">I've</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;done in the past, and thus hiding from the wrong things I think I’ll do in the future then blog about. Hiding my health status, hiding my private thoughts that i feel like sharing but still keep private…just hiding. And what hiding does to you is that you are in a safe and cozy prison, you are not free to know who loves you just as you are because they don’t really know you, and some of those who do know you are saddled with the burden of keeping things hush hush for you that they have no idea if they are okay with these things or not, thus you always have to be explaining things and re-assuring them whilst still grateful that they are there anyway even with their faulted opinion about you.&nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KV5wlNuAcj0/UlZ0mIt11CI/AAAAAAAAAdg/AOIkDJxEFTQ/s1600/coming+out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KV5wlNuAcj0/UlZ0mIt11CI/AAAAAAAAAdg/AOIkDJxEFTQ/s1600/coming+out.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">And then you find out you are more focused on the past, either explaining it, or apologizing for it, or regretting it… and the devil begins to play chess in your head saying ‘<i>what’s the guaranty that you won’t do it again, why do you think you deserve better etc</i>’…and you begin to believe these and then you mess up some more because you believe its the story of your life, you cannot rise above what was…or what used to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">So now I’m thinking of going public with the blog. Make every body know abeg. And so I need to hear from you, just how bad an idea is that? How bad can it be? What’s the worst that could happen?&nbsp;Because the alternative in my head right now is to just shut this one down and start afresh, because blogging anonymously is just now working for me anymore.</span>Nutty J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13532350273229270590noreply@blogger.com19