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Friday, May 20, 2016

The AKSARBENT smoothie

We came across an old Ann Landers clipping with her second most famous recipe (I think she only published two) — the one for pound cake. I don't want to know how many calories or how much cholesterol it has (it was from the 60s) but it's delicious and bad cook proof.
(By the way, Ann Landers' only child, Margo, a successful newspaperwoman and advice columnist in her own right, though now retired, is active on twitter. Don't follow her at @Margoandhow unless you want to bask in the wit of the sassy chick who coined the phrases "clown car" and "starter marriage.")
Pursuant to our rediscovery of the aforementioned pound cake, we decided to publish our smoothie recipe, the result of tinkering dozens of times with ingredients we find appealing. If you make it, follow quantities slavishly and throw ingredients into the blender in the order listed for quicker, better blending:

1 good-sized carrot, cut up
1/2 of a medium, cored Jonathan or Fuji apple (don't bother to peel it), cut up
1/2 cantaloupe
1 banana (pick the biggest in your bunch, or two petite ones, but no more)
5 strawberries (5 3 mutantly large, 2 medium to large; or equivalent quantity)
1/2 bag of spinach (4 oz.)
Add milk to at least half the depth of ingredients
(If you and yours won't consume the entire amount upon completion, then use Vanilla Soy Milk, plain or lightly sweetened. Soy milk won't be curdled by the fruits and change flavor in the refrigerator.)

Maynard (Bob "Gilligan's Island" Denver) slyly flashes a nipple to the CBS eye while trying to talk his best buddy Dobie Gillis (Dwayne Hick­man) into taking off all his clothes. Whoever said 1950s television was a vast waste­land obviously didn't know where to look.