“Hine
Ma Tov Umanayim” (“See how good and beautiful when brothers hold
hands”) is a heart warming song and when practiced it gives
strength and happiness, a closeness for which we all yearn. When
we read the Schema we are commanded to love Hashem bechol levovcho,
bechhol nafschecho, bechol meodecho. Since we are all the
proverbial “Children of G’d” we should love each other,
especially the members of our family, with all of our heart, with all
of our soul and with all of our might. Too often we forget to
practice that which is healthy, good and beautiful.

Children
Who Hate, by Fritz Redl, is a very insightful book. We can
easily transpose these words into Families Who Hate. Instead of
loving one another members of these families are jealous and
unfeeling, except for much stored up anger which they spew in a number
of ways. They may feel superior or wealthier than the hated one or may
imagine they might have to contribute something, whether in time or
money. They may abandon one member of their kin or another,
finding fault without reason. This individual becomes the
scapegoat for their unhappiness. Especially painful is it when it
involves members of a Jewish family who shun a brother, a sister,
their parent or even their own child. They “dredge up”
some real or imaginary slight that occurred in the long ago. This
can be seen in nursing facilities where old agers are abandoned and
earmarked for punishment. I have seen a Jewish daughter who would
not go to her mother's funeral, and a brother in the community who
shunned his sister who yearned to be his friend. Among adult children,
they may justify their actions by engaging in loshan horah with one
another which they feel authenticates their grudges.

There
are enough anti-Semites in this world without assisting them in our
behavior to each other. We were known historically as a people
who stood up for one another through all adversity. Let us make
every effort to live up to this belief and assist each other come what
may. Let us live up to the adage “Kol Yisroel Chaverim”, and
that this includes every member of our family, be they near or far.