I received a call today from a friendly gentlemen from the New York Fraternal Order of Police. I welcomed the intrusion, as I had just spent the last hour vacuuming in my pearls and high heels. This caller asked to speak to my husband, and when I asked this caller to identify himself and what the call was regarding, he informed me that he needed to speak to, “the man of the house.” The purpose of this email (honestly, I would have sent you a handwritten letter, but I just couldn’t find my pink glitter pen and embroidered stationary) is to congratulate you on such stellar marketing and fundraising skills. I tip my hat (no wait, only men where hats! I mean curtsy) to you for asking to speak to the man of the house instead of the lady of the house.

You know us ladies, we simply cannot be trusted with any complicated decisions of the household. Heavens no! We have enough to worry about with all the cleaning, cooking, and pulling toddlers off our apron strings. It is just an absolute wonder that I don’t burn down the house each day.

I would have loved to donate, but I probably needed either my father or my husband’s permission, like I do with all financial decisions. I even defer to my husband regarding any business related decisions, as being the owner of a successful business is just too exhausting for my inferior female brain to handle. Keep up with the misogyny, particularly with female callers, and I’m sure you will see the donations pouring in!

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson

Me and a friend of mine received the A, B and C book with a Sesame Street play mat for free...or it was suppose to be free for signing up for some thing. A month later they sent a letter saying we were being billed 9.99 for the "C" book. My friend was an artist so he drew a picture of a little boy playing on the Sesame Street mat holding up the "C" book with one hand and flipping off the company charging us. I put two pennies in with the letter, and we sealed the letter and sent it back to those bastards. It was hilarious, and I wish we would have taken a picture, because he is a damn good artist. We never heard back from those Sesame Street people, so I guess they took our 2 cents, laughed and considered that "C" book paid in full.

A wise person makes their own decisions; an ignorant one follows public opinion.