In the past, people have sent me signs from their gyms that I have categorized as “Gym Signs that Suck.” My new (#badass Las Vegas) gym doesn’t have a sign but it does have a list of rules. There is one rule in particular that sucks. See #4.

If you care, I am LOVING it here in Las Vegas. Today marks two weeks and it feels like I have lived here for 6 months.

My first thoughts to share:

So. Much. Sun. My body hasn’t seen this much vitamin D in my entire life.

On my first day here, I got a little sunburn drinking coffee on my porch at 7:00 IN THE MORNING!

One day, I thought there were clouds in the sky but it was actually smoke from a house fire a mile away.

Goodbye seasonal affective disorder! Hello life of applying sunscreen every single day!

Me (phase 3): “Why should I be miserable during training runs AND during the race? Why not be miserable just once on race day?” [violently rips up training schedule]

Me (race day): “I hate myself so much.”

If you couldn’t tell, 2014 has been the year of running races untrained. The particular races where I sucked at running? Here ya go:

2014 Pittsburgh Half Marathon (May)

Great Race 10K (September)

Pittsburgh EQT 10 miler (last week)

In Maybe Marathoner fashion, here is the analysis of the last few moments of last week’s race:But, the good news is that the weight lifter in me has been rockin’ in at the gym. Showing up every morning as the doors are unlocked and bouncing from my pre-workout drink of who-knows-what chemicals to get started. And then very once in awhile, I get a gym bonus – today’s was seeing this lovely lady in her embroidered-pocket jeans on the elliptical.

Angela, over at FitFunMom, wrote a post awhile back where she said, “…sometimes people drive by my blog in their Google cars and deposit one-sided evidence that they’ve been here, leaving me wanting a chance to holler back after them. Now’s my chance to talk back to people who’ve reached the blog through the power of Google.”

I LOVED the idea, so I am stealing it – sharing with you some of the search terms that brought people to JoggingJeans.com.

1. The boob themed searches:

“big boob jogger”

“jeans and boobs”

“boob women in overalls”

“boob out”

…..My response to the individuals behind these searches: Men are pigs.

2. The foreign language searches:

“joggingspijkerbroeken”

“joggy джинсы”

“que son los jeans joggalor”

…..My response to my foreign friends: Um, wut?

3. The search terms that hurt my heart:

“i hate pittsburgh”

“Pittsburgh sucks”

“why do people like shithole pittsburgh?”

…..My response to these absolute idiots: Suck it, Haters.*

4. The search phrases that made me smile:

“hysterical website running in jeans”

“+Jill +Pittsburgh funny jogging jeans”

My response to these people: I love you too.

5. The search terms with important questions:

“is it okay to run in jeans” and “can I jog in jeans?”

“Will people laugh if I go to the gym in jeans?

…..Yes, yes, and yes.

*I will ignore any comments about the performance of our beloved Steelers.