"Ihsan the Pure" would have been cool, yeah. If it were being released today, mostly 'Walkers that never were -- Memnarch Planeswalker (the "good guys" lost Mirrodin I) woudl be a good one, as would Tev Loneglade (who went insane and became Tevesh Szat in the normal continuity), possibly alongside a pure red or even red/black Freyalise (Szat had an interesting indirect hand in turning her to green magic). For actual legends, there's something appealing about a (black) "Avacyn, Angel of Tyrrany" or Phyrexian "Slobad the Traitor" (taking Glissa's Place).

Karn, Father of Machines would be pretty cool. Konda Victorious ruling over all Kamigawa as the world decays without the Kami to maintain it. Otherwise I don't know enough to speculate.And yes, BWG Bolas, Ruler of Life and Death, would be interesting.

For me, I would want to see avacyn and grisslebrand plainswalkers, as that was what everybody really wanted to happen at my game store.

You'll never see anything like that.Angels and Demons cannot be walkers and you need to throw that in everyone's faces as often as possible.If they bring up Ob Nixilis, explain what happens to your shape when you lose your spark. You get stuck if whatever form you held.

I'm both instinctive and emotional. I value my own instincts and desires, and either ignore or crush anything that stands in my way; planning and foresight are unnecessary. At best, I'm determined and fierce; at worst, I'm headstrong and infantile.

Hm, I think I can propose one possible divergence in the timeline that would throw everything off...

Remember that moment in The Thran when Yawgmoth and Xod and the other students discover the five colors of magic? What would have happened if, instead of being turned into a Steeplejack, Yawgmoth had encouraged Xod to explore this new understanding of mana?

What if, in short, the great power of Phyrexia came not from the stolen designs of Glacien but from the founding of the first school of magic?

We can see how things would cascade from there--the conflict would have been one where the technology of the Thran (and perhaps of Glacien himself?) would have been pitted against this new power that seemed to warp the very nature of reality. Perhaps we would have seen the Mana Rig as the sole source of powerstones for the exiled Thran Mechanists and the powerstones in the capital would be used to support more and more complex spellcasting. Not sure how Phyrexia the plane would fit into all this though...

At any rate, The Thran would end much the same way--Yawgmoth uses his new elemental powers to warp the Thran into monstrosities, augmenting his understanding of the body with his newly developed fine control over the very elemental forces of the universe. Rebbec finally turns upon him and uses Glacien's powerstones and the enchantments placed upon the Caves of the Damned to generate an infinite charge of mana. The Phthisans and the Thran Mechanists would be destroyed alike in the blast.

The memory of magic would remain, however, and be uncovered in the time of the Brothers. They would use the Might and Weakstones to power enchantments of unparalleled mastery, tearing the world apart with their fighting. Through it all, they would be manipulated by the Phthisans, who would eventually claim Mishra for their own, converting his body into pure elemental energy, a magical construct with the skin of a human stretched grotesquely over top.

Things cascade from there. Tev Loneglade ascends to become one of the great defenders of Dominaria, eventually using the power of the Mana Rig to create a second infinite mana combo, shattering the Shard and launching the Flood Age. In response to the turmoil and trauma of the climate's rapid warming, the witch Freyalise is taken in by the fanatic Heidar and decides to plunge the world into darkness once more.

Somehow Serra becomes blue somewhere in there.

Urza wanders the Multiverse, eventually meeting Serra, who describes him as fundamentally blue. Her plane is thrown into turmoil when the Phthisans find it, introducing chaotic Red and Green elements into her ordered, intellectual world. Serra beats back the invaders but, examining the composition of the plane, realizes that the plane will be stabilized by the presence of the new colors and secretly encourages an order of Heresiarch Sphinxes to develop in her realm.

Urza founds an academy of magic in order to combat what he now understands is a long-term invasion from Phthisia. (Weirdly, despite the fact that Urza is an enchanter and the fact that Tolarian Reliquary would become one of the most broken enchantment combo enablers in the history of the game, the set actually had a major artifact theme.) The island suffers its first major setback, however, at the hands of the Phthissan agent K'rrik, the misguided attempts at heroism by the powerful young enchanter Teferi, and Urza's own Silver Elemental Karn, cast backward through time by a powerful spell.

Urza would, however, recover Tolaria from the wreckage and make use of both the temporal chaos and the distorting Warp World spell cast in desperation by Teferi to launch a new project: the Inheritance, a complex series of enchanted items that centered upon the skyship Weatherlight, the silver elemental Karn, and a series of heroes drawn from bloodlines manipulated and enchanted so that they would better channel the five colors of mana. To create the Inheritance Urza would seek the aid of Serra, who refused to assist him but secretly began introducing her own agents as guardians on Dominaria, Tev Loneglade, who grudgingly allowed Urza access to the now greatly expanded Thran Mechanist Rig, and the Maro sorcerer Molimo.

Man, this is running pretty long. Whoops. Let's flip ahead.

Bla bla bla, Teferi's isle shifts out to Meditation Space...

bla bla something about anti-enchantment Samite Inquisitors...

Let's see.

Crovax dodges the curse launched when Mirri kills the Heresiarch Sphinx Sirenia. Mirri, now transformed into a cursed, vampiric creature, wrests control of the plane of Rath from the other contenders, gaining the servitude of Grevin il Vec, mutating the inquisitor Orim into a new and twisted form, and destroying Volrath by injecting his body with the microscopic elementals known as Flowstone. Gerrard, Crovax, captain Sisay, the minotaur Tangarth (twisted by Rootwater sorcery into a grossly mutated form), the mage Ertai, the goblin artificer Squee, and Karn would escape with the Weatherlight first to Mercadia, where they would encorporate the body of the elemental dragon Ramos into the Weatherlight, and then to Dominaria, just in time for the Invasion.

Gerrard would discover, during the Invasion, that he was the product of Urza's experiments, an elemental of light and disenchantment in human flesh. Directly on the heels of this revelation, Hanna would be felled by the blades of one of Evincar Mirri's il-Kor assassins. Gerrard, grief-striken, strikes a bargain with Mirri: he will join with the Elemental Invasion and Phthisia if Yawgmoth will restore Hanna to life. Gerrard becomes Yawgmoth's Champion and leads the second wave of the Invasion, coordinating his armies with Mirri's to conquer much of the globe.

All was not lost, however. Yawgmoth, in bequeathing so much power to Gerrard, weakened his own defenses substantially. This allowed Urza to enter Pthisia with the Nine Titans, nine planeswalkers encased in titanic living armor forged from the domains of Dominaria. Freyalise would eventually murder Tev Loneglade, but he would have his revenge in the form of a mad plan created with Urza: he would use Freyalise's soul to charge a series of powerstone bombs created and abandoned at the end of the Thran War. Taysir would sacrificing himself to break Urza free from the madness that nearly overtook him when Yawgmoth revealed that Mishra had been preserved deep within Pthisia, and the remaining six Titans would return to Dominaria.

The Weatherlight, meanwhile, would be nearly destroyed by the Primordials, a group of five dragons led by Vorosh, the Hunter (and secertly manipulated by the Ice Witch Freyalise). The Yavamayan Stronghold was unassailable and Skyshroud, despite the defenses created by Tev, was faring poorly against both Gerrard's armies and the sweltering heat of Shiv. However, Karn was able to reawaken Vorosh's individual will from the mad ancestral memories possessing him. The dragon, now far more powerful than his allies after leading the charge agaisnt countless enemies, defeats each Primeval in turn. He finally corners Intet, who reveals that the Primevals are doomed to carry out this dance of rebirth and betrayal across all timelines for eternity, forever at war with themselves and with the world. Vorosh, in response, takes a third option and absorbs the essence of the four dragons, become the legendary Ur-Dragon, the primordial defender of Dragonkind.

He then proceeds to kick the crap out of the Shivan invasion force.

The Six Titans return to Dominaria to find most of Jamuura and Shiv shifted out of existence, Pthisians everywhere, and Yavamaya mutating into a surreal dreamscape in preparation for Yawgmoth's entrance into the world. Parcher, in response, takes the Null Moon and Planeswalks it into the heart of Pthisia, where he detonates it, and himself, destroying Yawgmoth.

Pthisia's power lives on in Gerrard, however, and the Invasion is not over yet...

...And at this point, I'm not really sure how to resolve things. Any ideas? Boy, this got WAY out of hand.

I'm afraid I can't be much use, since I only really know the story starting from Alara.

After the official forums lost most of their functionality, a once vibrant community of Vorthos was wiped out.The survivors founded a new place to discuss all things concerning with the art, flavor and storylines of Magic: The Gathering. Come join us.

You should never explain layers to people unless one of the following is true: they're studying for a judge exam, you're both in a Ben Affleck movie and it's the only way to save the world, or you hate them.

56663526 wrote:

We try to maintain the illusion that Magic cards are written in English.

56333196 wrote:

69511863 wrote:

Hell, if they steal from us, we'd be honored.

oh my god, AWESOME!
Then changing the Slivers was your idea! haha
lol

56734518 wrote:

Occassionally when catering, I've been put the task of arranging Fruit and Cheese or Grilled Vegetable platters. More than once a high class buffet has started with the mark of Phyrexia upon it. Since i've got a good eye for color so it looks great to people who don't get the "joke" (it's a niceley divided circle after all: the outline gives you 4-6 "regions" to work with), this has actually got me put on platter design more often, resulting in Phyrexia's presence at more private and industry events.

Yeah, but presumably it was in an environment that made enchantments, rather than artifacts, particularly broken. I imagine that the alternate storylines are accompanied by alternate block planning :P

The three lands that worked along those lines were actually Shivan Rig for artifacts (and red), Tolarian Reliquary for enchantments (and white), and, weirdly, Gaia's Cradle. Argoth apparently can't catch a break across any timeline.

Hm, I think I can propose one possible divergence in the timeline that would throw everything off...

SNIP

No. Words.

That was quite a good wall of ideas Keeper (I know, one part of it being I'm biased with anything Serra) but I really I love how you wove all of the Time Spiral cycle personalities and ideas into this.

Now I seriously want to make cards for this alternate timeline, partly because the prospect of enchantment creatures is cool.

Imagine Mirrodin being an enchantment plane created by Karn.

Who would have to be a living spell himself... which really does draw certain questions over the physicality of spells and the permanence there of.

Additionally, you have to consider what kind of effects Karn being an elemental would have on his creations such as the Mirari, and there of the kind of cascading effects a non-physical presence would have on the characters running through the Otarian cycle.

Btw, don't remember who said it, but not Green Phage. White Phage as opposite to Red Akroma. They have to remain opposites.

Additionally, you have to consider what kind of effects Karn being an elemental would have on his creations such as the Mirari, and there of the kind of cascading effects a non-physical presence would have on the characters running through the Otarian cycle.

Would that mean Karona would be the manifestation of all artifice on Dominaria?

Btw, don't remember who said it, but not Green Phage. White Phage as opposite to Red Akroma. They have to remain opposites.

Ooh, what about Blue Phage? "Whenever CARDNAME deals combat damage to a player, that player puts his or her library into his or her graveyard." Dunno how exciting that would be, but keeps them enemies and maintains the whole "Basically the same card with a different angle" thing Akroma has going on .

Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.

57092228 wrote:

Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.

56995928 wrote:

Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.

My DM on Battleminds:

no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.

144543765 wrote:

195392035 wrote:

Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.

I have the same problem with women.

117639611 wrote:

198869283 wrote:

Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.

And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.

57461258 wrote:

See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.

57461258 wrote:

Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.

92481331 wrote:

I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.

92481331 wrote:

56957928 wrote:

It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your sillycombo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills

Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.

[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]

56756068 wrote:

56786788 wrote:

.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?

Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.

56756068 wrote:

I don't say this often, but ... LOL

57526128 wrote:

You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.

I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.

...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?

I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.

57545908 wrote:

56957928 wrote:

Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).

58397368 wrote:

58222628 wrote:

This just won the argument, AFAIC.

That's just awesome.

57471038 wrote:

57718868 wrote:

HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).

71235715 wrote:

+10

100176878 wrote:

56957928 wrote:

57078538 wrote:

heaven or hell.

Round 1. Lets rock.

GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!

56906968 wrote:

56957928 wrote:

143359585 wrote:

Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.

Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.

You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.

Would that mean Karona would be the manifestation of all artifice on Dominaria?

... Mech-Karona. Fund it.(Or MeKarona. However you like.)

Ooh, what about Blue Phage? "Whenever CARDNAME deals combat damage to a player, that player puts his or her library into his or her graveyard." Dunno how exciting that would be, but keeps them enemies and maintains the whole "Basically the same card with a different angle" thing Akroma has going on .

Blue Phage could work in relation to Blue Braids and the presumable blue Cabal.Plays appropriately to the Black Ixidor as well.

Btw, don't remember who said it, but not Green Phage. White Phage as opposite to Red Akroma. They have to remain opposites.

Akroma moved to an enemy of her former color, but not the color of her adversary. I didn't want to just switch Phage and Akroma. Also, Jeski and Kamahl both started in Red and moved to Red's allies. Black Kamahl was already mentioned.

You should never explain layers to people unless one of the following is true: they're studying for a judge exam, you're both in a Ben Affleck movie and it's the only way to save the world, or you hate them.

56663526 wrote:

We try to maintain the illusion that Magic cards are written in English.

56333196 wrote:

69511863 wrote:

Hell, if they steal from us, we'd be honored.

oh my god, AWESOME!
Then changing the Slivers was your idea! haha
lol

56734518 wrote:

Occassionally when catering, I've been put the task of arranging Fruit and Cheese or Grilled Vegetable platters. More than once a high class buffet has started with the mark of Phyrexia upon it. Since i've got a good eye for color so it looks great to people who don't get the "joke" (it's a niceley divided circle after all: the outline gives you 4-6 "regions" to work with), this has actually got me put on platter design more often, resulting in Phyrexia's presence at more private and industry events.

Akroma moved to an enemy of her former color, but not the color of her adversary. I didn't want to just switch Phage and Akroma. Also, Jeski and Kamahl both started in Red and moved to Red's allies. Black Kamahl was already mentioned.

Also, Black Lin Sivvi to lead the black rebels?

Black Kamahl would be interesting, but that space is already occupied. One of the things you have to remember is that they're very basic nature would change BEFORE they transformed. Kamahl wouldn't be red here. Nor would Jeska.If Jeska would become blue Phage, then we'd be looking at... What would you say? White? Hmm... you know, it would still have the potential for green Kamahl, which would be an interesting inversed parallel. Some fates just cannot be changed.(Can't do Black Kamahl to start with. Ixidor already fills that slot and Ixidor and Kamahl never shared a color. Gotta keep parallels up.)

I'm missing the fate of Dralnu, Githuan druid here. A native of Shiv, and gifted with command over natural magics, he staged the island's own resistance against the invasion forces of Pthisis, until he was betrayed over a power struggle and murdered by the Dominarian coalition commander, Jhoira of Benalia, herself a talented elementalist and shapeshifter trained at the Tolarian Santuary.. Or something like that

I'm missing the fate of Dralnu, Githuan druid here. A native of Shiv, and gifted with command over natural magics, he staged the island's own resistance against the invasion forces of Pthisis, until he was betrayed over a power struggle and murdered by the Dominarian coalition commander, Jhoira of Benalia, herself a talented elementalist and shapeshifter trained at the Tolarian Santuary.. Or something like that

Gonna go with no. I shan't have Jhoira besmirched as such. If you're going to have betrayal, you'd have to have either Grizzlegrom or the commander of the OmniThran elemental soldiers.

I like the idea of making Dralnu into an actually unambiguously good character, instead of building him up as one and then handing him the villain ball. ...Damn, is it obvious that part of my motivation here is my desire to give these characters better endings than they got in Planeshift and Apocalypse? >_>

In my timeline most of Urborg is shifted out by Teferi. But maybe there's a way of redeeming Dralnu in a different timeline? What would have to change in Urborg?

Color shifted Otaria is weird, but it actually isn't too hard to imagine. Kamahl and Jeska are from the Nomads rather than the Barbarians, but that actually doesn't damage too much--the Order wasn't actually too far removed from Kamahl's smash-first-ask-questions-never methodology, so I don't think the characters would change too much. What I like about this change is that we still end up with the Nomad Mystics, and the Barbarians in their respective colors while still twisting things around.

You know what would change though?

White dwarves and red avens. Think about it, Balthor needs to shift, too. And that change actually makes quite a bit of sense--haven't we talked before about dwarves making a lot of sense in white? In this world, the Mystics aspire to be like the Dwarves, who are closer to the earth, who delve into the plains and the sands of Otaria's beaches and uncover ancient wonders. This also introduces an internal conflict in White--should the nomads side with the artifact-friendly Dwarves or the artifact-hating Order? (I'm assuming this is a DIFFERENT timeline from the Urza Enchanter timeline, obviously.) Oh, and Barinellos and I, at least, have talked about red Avens and I think they make a lot of sense. Just picture them as birds of prey flying around the mountain peaks. Plus, it means we can transpose the mystic fascination with the sky to the Barbarians, giving them a bit more depth (albeit totally mangling the mechanics of the Odyssey block... ha ha whoops.)

Where things get weird is with Ixidor and the Cabal, who flip colors. What I think makes this shift particularly fascinating is the implications for the Cephalids. Personally, I'm inclined to shift them into Black, which actually fits their attitudes a lot better, I think. Plus, without doing that it's hard to imagine how we could fill in black. Maybe sticking Nantuko into black and expanding Centaurs to be the primary Green race? We could do that.

But for this thought experiment, I'm going with black cephalids, blue merfolk still, blue cabalists that use something similar to dementia casting--paranoia casting? delusion casting?--and who run the Arenas as a hard-headed business venture, white dwarves and nomads with an almost completely human Order that's even more fanatical, red barbarians and avens with a more spiritual bent than before, and... yeah, green pretty much stays the same actually. Maybe we'll drop Nantuko because I always liked the Centaurs better. Whatver.

To get to this point I think you need a couple of major changes in the timeline. First, you need to change Kuberr. Apparently he got his powers by killing Crosis, so this is actually a pretty straightforward change--let's make him kill Dromar instead (and... not think too hard about what effects this would have on the Invasion). That gives him blue powers, which he uses to confer immortality upon the First, with the side effect of his touch driving mortals mad.

The Dwarven/Aven shift shouldn't be hard to manage. Just flip where the groups migrated to. If you want to give the Dwarves a reason for being in the plains, though, maybe you could give Otaria a bit more of a wallop in the Invasion and have more invading forces lying dismantled on the plains. Maybe.

Cephalids are pretty easy to manage, too. Assume a much, much stronger Merfolk court (the insurrection would have failed, presumably) that responds to cephalid scheming by driving them out of the ocean and into the marshy coastal regions, where their resentment and greed grew to monstrous proportions. They adopted necromantic strategies as well as techniques to increase their own influence. When Aboshan got his hands on the Mirari he attempted to sink Otaria until the plains and forest became swampland, which would have allowed the Cephalids to take control of the continent and oppose the Mer Empire. Llawan would presumably have been a more reasonable leader. Interestingly, this implies that the Riptide Project would have been primarily black, perhaps delving into biological mutation akin to the thrull breeding techniques of Sarpadia, and artifact-based experimentation that sought to replicate Phyrexia's technology. This would actually help explain why the Slivers were of such interest to Riptide--or perhaps we should rename it Quicksand or something like that?

Man, I'm basically the only one here that thought Otaria was cool, aren't I? :P

And yeah, Planar Chaos was kind of amazing for this. It's actually weird that we haven't had more threads like this... nice to see that between this and a few of the other recent threads we're doing some more creative stuff here. Things have been dead lately.

I'm reading Otaria atm, and it's sort of a love-hate-mostly apathetic relationship. I like the setting, but it's been told so blandly... And I don't have the Legions-Scourge books so I'm being spared the most awful parts I guess.

Yeah, no argument that the story is a mess once you get to King's bit, in particular. (Odyssey was a terrible bore but I've heard good things about Torment.)

I always liked the weird diversity of the setting and the idea that Otaria had a native ecosystem, but also was being slowly but surely swarmed by refugees. And yeah, some of that didn't make a lot of sense (why was Otaria spared? Why did it take 100 years for the refugees to start showing up en mass during the events of Onslaught?) but the sheer weirdness of some of the stuff, almost as though Otaria was an Australia analogue, cut off from Dominaria at some distant point in evolutionary history, always struck me as really interesting.

Sunlight streamed down upon the gently swaying leaves of Vitu-Ghazi as the zephyr breezes ran their fingers through them. The Crystals planted throughout the branches of the city tree captured the radiance of the day to be used in the dark of each night. In the time since Momir Vig had joined the life song of Mat'Selesnya, this was but one of his brilliant creations. Vig stood upon the great balcony branches of the conclave's home and watched the wind play with the delicate green leaves that made up the enormous canopy. It was an excellent time to be alive, Vig thought to himself. His gaze wandered downwards to those scurrying below upon the streets and he momentarily frowned. There were so many that could not see the conclave's vision, or even worse, chose not to. It was a shame and one of the few things that made him truly sad on such a fine day.

The branches stirred momentarily and bathed the relaxing figure in a shaft of gold. Momir Vig was of average height for an elf, and unlike many of his elven compatriots, he was bald, a small genetic quirk from times immemorial. That quirk did serve to draw attention to the brilliant emerald gem embedded in his forehead, and as it seemed to shine much more prominently than any of the other chorus member's own. The gem was their connection to the lifesong, a mark of honor showing their commitment to the brilliant vision of the conclave. Of course, those that followed his words would say it was his brilliance, or the light of Mat'Selesnya shining upon his brow. He chuckled silently to himself, folding his hands behind him. He had never meant to become quite as popular as he had, but they flocked to him all the same. It was an opportunity to share, so even if he did not enjoy the attention, which he admitedly did, he would still teach those who sought him out.

"Saint Vig?" A voice cut through Momir's thoughts and he looked around in surprise. There, a young man stood, a very young man. He could not have been more than ten or eleven.

"Hell my child, what may I do for you today?" Vig smiled beneficently at the young one. The child miled back and held something up for Momir.

"You asked to be notified when the Dimir sorceress had located these texts for you." The young man waved the scroll back and forth in front of the elven master and he patiently waited until the child stopped before he plucked it from his small hands.

"Ah! Mistress Teysa managed to find what I was looking for."

"Yes sir! She sent a courier over with all of it!" Vig chuckled once more at the boy's eagerness to please.

"It was a rhetorical question my lad. Very good though, you may go now. Be diligent in your studies." The beaming child took off down into the halls of Vitu Ghazi, surely going to find his friends to tell them of his encounter with such a prominent figure. Vig laughed and shook his head at the boy's enthusiasm. Ah, to be young...

After another moment of basking in the glow of the day's sun, Saint Vig followed him. The child had Momir thinking of the decamillenia. The event that took place when that boy was but a babe. It was the year that Momir Vig had earned his title. When Szadek, it still stunned Momir that he truly existed, had provoked the demon Rakdos into rioting through the streets, it had seemed a grim time. So many injured had poured in through the living halls of this wooden haven. It seemed as if they would never stop. Momir Vig had ceased being a mere evangel at that point, he could do nothing to stop those in the streets, but he could heal those in his tree.

Momir Vig worked ceaselessly for a full ten days, resting but a mere few hours in that entire time before the Boros General Augustin had ordered the deployment of the spirit troops. They had driven back the demon and his hordes and the eternal Arbiter Razia and her Azorious angels had used the guildpact to seal Rix Maadi, seemingly permanently. Finally, the procession of injured had slowed to a trickle, and Vig collapsed from exhaustion soon after. Vig smiled at the memory, for it was then that the seeds of his great plan had been sown. In his exhaustive sleep, he had dreamed. A brilliant dream, one that had shaped the past ten years of his life. He dreamed of Mat'Selesnya, and she told him of the truth of the life song.

It was that truth which had caused him to go to the greatest and oldest magical minds of Ravnica. For ten years, he searched for the documents which now sat in his room thanks to Mistress Lyzolda. As he slipped into his room, a simple cell in the highest reaches of the tree, his eyes were immediately drawn to the stacked scrolls, all of them bearing Ozhov signets. Of course these were copies, the originals must be so old that they'd have turned to dust. With great reverance, he sat and broke the first seal, being careful and solemn. It was not everyday a man learned knowledge that predated the very guildpact.

Laid out before him, was the spell that had created Mat'selesnya herself, an elemental fusion of the first chorus of dryads. They had woven themselves together and gave birth to the life song and their sacrifice of individuality powered the guildpact. Everyone was tied to the guildpact through the life song. Soon though, if Vig's plans came to fruition, they would all be members of the conclave as well, compelled to hear the unity of the aria of existence itself. The spells he researched now would free Mat'Selesnya after ten-thousand years of dedicated service and a new being would take her place. Vig considered a moment.

"It would be disrepectful to call her replacement by the same name. A being such as this deserves its own. Something poetic, something... fitting." Yes, he rather liked that idea. He contemplated for a moment, before speaking aloud an old elvish name given new form. "Kraj'Selesnya. It has a certain ring to it, I think."

I have 2 more on hand as well. But lunch comes first.Aside from that, I also have color shifts for virtually all of the Ravnican guilds. Except Rakdos and Niv.... they uh... they gotta be where they are.

You should never explain layers to people unless one of the following is true: they're studying for a judge exam, you're both in a Ben Affleck movie and it's the only way to save the world, or you hate them.

56663526 wrote:

We try to maintain the illusion that Magic cards are written in English.

56333196 wrote:

69511863 wrote:

Hell, if they steal from us, we'd be honored.

oh my god, AWESOME!
Then changing the Slivers was your idea! haha
lol

56734518 wrote:

Occassionally when catering, I've been put the task of arranging Fruit and Cheese or Grilled Vegetable platters. More than once a high class buffet has started with the mark of Phyrexia upon it. Since i've got a good eye for color so it looks great to people who don't get the "joke" (it's a niceley divided circle after all: the outline gives you 4-6 "regions" to work with), this has actually got me put on platter design more often, resulting in Phyrexia's presence at more private and industry events.

Akroma moved to an enemy of her former color, but not the color of her adversary. I didn't want to just switch Phage and Akroma. Also, Jeski and Kamahl both started in Red and moved to Red's allies. Black Kamahl was already mentioned.

Also, Black Lin Sivvi to lead the black rebels?

Black Kamahl would be interesting, but that space is already occupied. One of the things you have to remember is that they're very basic nature would change BEFORE they transformed. Kamahl wouldn't be red here. Nor would Jeska.If Jeska would become blue Phage, then we'd be looking at... What would you say? White? Hmm... you know, it would still have the potential for green Kamahl, which would be an interesting inversed parallel. Some fates just cannot be changed.(Can't do Black Kamahl to start with. Ixidor already fills that slot and Ixidor and Kamahl never shared a color. Gotta keep parallels up.)

I don't think you need to change Kamahl's colors, I think you need to change the timing. Instead of starting as a brash Barbarian with a "Stab first, what do you mean you wanted to ask them questions?" attitude and eventually becoming the more calmer, balanced druid-warrior, Kamahl starts out as the physical champion of Krosa and his tribe, but after Jeska gets transformed into blue!Phage, thus losing all emotional ties with her brother, he snaps and becomes a much more destructive berserker who is driven to fight even harder to restore a bit of her humanity to her. Make their relationship about emotions vs. stoicism rather than life vs. death.

Azorius:Razia, Eternal Arbiter: The Azorius are lead by the angel Razia and uphold the laws of Ravnica. The flights of the Angelic Judges, all created in Razia's image, are the dauntless hunters of the worst plights to scourge Ravnica. Each of the angels wear a mirrored mask, blinded like Justice itself, to remain impartial and strike fear into their targets.

Agrus Kos, Veteran Inquisitor: Acting as the advisors and support to the Angelic Judges are the Azorius Inquisitors, street tough investigators who have eschewed the fanciful armor of the senate and hussars to find the evidence needed to sentence the criminals of Ravnica to the justice they deserve. One such Inquisitor is Agrus Kos, a man who might just have stumbled on one of Ravnica's greatest secrets and stands on the cusp of total chaos if he can't stop the shadowy plots being brewed in the dark Undercity.

Orzhov:Vampire Council of Orzhova: The enigmatic and mysterious immortal council that rules the guild of deals. There are some who suggest this is a lineage spawned from the near mythical vampire lord Szadek, but those rumors are founded mainly in superstition. What is known is that the vampire Council writes the doctrine of the chruch and maintains the wealth and mental hold upon most of the church. The massive population of slaves are kept enthralled by their vampiric lords to toil away until their debt is absolved, through work or blood. (In case you didn't catch it, this breaks down to Szadek more than anybody else.)Lyzolda, Blood Debtor: One of the more prominent descendants of the vampire council, Lyzolda has earned a reputation for acquiring what she wants when she wants it. She is not to be crossed, as her backroom dealings are absolutely cut-throat and there is no telling the lengths she will go to silence opposition. Though she has a great deal of wealth, it seems that her primary currency is not in coin, but in blood and favors.

Golgari:Dryads of Deep Shadow: In the founding of the guildpact, the dryads who chose not to become a part of Mat'Selesnya were cast out of the Conclave as a result of their selfish sense of individuality. They regrouped around the dark heart of the woods in the undercity and there they festered, learning the intricacies and beauty of death as well as life.Ulasht, the Hate Seed: The horrible reanimated corpse of a former Gruul monstrosity. It roams the Undercity, spawning lesser necrotic beasts as its heads rot off, only to be replaced endlessly. It is the unliving emobiment of the cycle of life and death, forever growing and rotting to give life to new and terrible things. (Legendary Creature- Zombie Hellion Hydra)Truthfully, I also felt like maybe moving Ulasht over to the Simic where it would pick up the type Mutant, but I dig the zombie version better.

Gruul:Tibor and Lumia: Tibor and Lumia are a pair of the most powerful druids in the world and the husband/wife chieftains of the Burning Tree clan of the Gruul. Lumia is the mistress of flame, and Tibor the master of the winds, calling up windstorms to bring down great winged beasts. The Burning Tree clan in particular is the most nomadic of all Gruul tribes, and the primary reason for that are their leaders and their often destructive habits.Tolsimir Wolfblood: During the war preceding the Guildpact, the Silhana elves banded together under the Gruul banner, claiming that the other elves had lost the ability to hear the "wild song." Tolsimir Wolfblood is currently the chieftain of the Skarg tribe, and by extension the rest of the Gruul. He rules by fierce tooth and claw, enforced with the terrible pack of wolves fathered by the legendary wolf Voja.

Simic:Savra, Simic Grand Professor: One of the most brilliant minds of the Simic, the Devkarin elf Savra has reinvented virtually every single precept and technique created by the legendary biomancer Svogthir (still alive after 10,000 by modifying his genetic structure. BETTER LIVING THROUGH SCIENCE.) Her brother, Jarad, is not a traditionalist as Savra is, and is constantly pushing for reform and more stringent methods to their experimentation. The pair have nearly split the entire guild into two factions, but Savra is without a doubt the highest power of the Simic.Circu, Simic Neuromancer: An extremely talented researcher in Novijen, he specializes in the development of the nervous systems of creatures.

Boros:Lord General Augustin IV: Grand commander of the Boros forces, this veteran of years of fighting shows the wear and tear that one would expect. Most underestimate him, thinking he lost his shrewd mind or fiery passion when he lost his legs, but those that think that tend to be shockingly mistaken.

Izzet:Niv Mizzet: same as he ever wasIsperia the Inscrutable: A mysterious sphinx who joined the Izzet early in their creation, she remained detached, seemingly focused only on her own research until lately, when she began pushing against the dragon parun's decisions. Unfortunately for Niv, her own brilliance has created a following, meaning he is unable to act out against her overtly lest he cause a civil war within his own guild.

Dimir:Ghost Sages, Lords of Duskmantle: The mysterious phantoms that rule the Dimir are as insubstantial as they are informed. Some believe they might not even exist, but the information they collect certainly is and nothing can be hidden from their dead gaze. Each of them accumulate knowledge and secrets like the Orzhov collect coin, and with their spy network, they might very well be the most powerful beings on Ravnica. The only thing keeping them in check is their very own myth and their distaste for acting overtly in anything. If it is not accomplished by an unwitting cat's paw, it is almost certainly not worth accomplishing.Teysa, Agent of the Dimir: Shockingly, Teysa is the most well known Dimir agent on Ravnica, which makes her simultaneously the largest liability to the guild and virtually untouchable. To act against her would be to draw attention to the guild, and the dangerous balancing act that comes from public exposure is something she handles effortlessly. Almost a minor celebrity, she is the premiere information broker on the entire world. The Ghost Sages despise her, but offer her a legion of her own spiritual spies with which to work. After all, as much as they hate her, they cannot deny the results she gets. When she was younger, she set her network up to rival her uncle's own business interests, but he was aging and she murdered him in a brutal coup, killing anybody loyal to him and incorporating everything he had built into her own networks. There is almost nothing Teysa doesn't know, or can find out, a fact the sages are very aware of.

Selesnya:See Above

Rakdos:Rakdos the Defiler: C'mon, his name is the guild name, I can't change him!Borborygmos: The cyclops grandmaster and favored minion of Rakdos, his size and various hungers have earned him a dire reputation. Nothing satisfies him and Rakdos has come to approve of the lengths he will go to feed his terrible desires. His most common commands, and perhaps why he has risen to such prominence, are simple: "Kill them!" and "We eat!" can be heard bellowing out of Rix Maadi, even over the sounds of sadistic merriment. He has risen to his rank surprisingly quickly, even amongst the Rakdos where eating your competition is a viable method, but it has caused rumors to stir that he might have a patron beyond Rakdos alone...

So, after all that, I'm left with a remainder of the Sisters of Stone Death and down one Boros Legend.I'd probably shift the Sisters of Stone Death over to the Rakdos, but I got nothing for the Boros.

This was, of course, all for the original Ravnica, so the implications of what happens in RTR with this set up is up for debate... and by all means, I'd be interested in seeing how you think these shifts would work in RTR.... Aside from that, I kinda want to YMTC these new combos.

Maybe you should create Borosborygmos to both make space for Rakdos!Sisters of Stone Death and have two Boros legends.

For RTR, the guilds would be the same but the guildleaders would shift around. There would be Azorius!Aurelia, Golgari!Trostani, and maybe Selesnya!Zegana?

w/r Borborgymos feels a really really weird to me. I mean, I could kinda see it, but R/B Borborygmos feels really really natural.

As for Selesnya Zegana... well, we've had mono-white merfolk before in Lorwyn. Big question to that would be how to make it make sense. Obviously, Kraj'Selesnya failed and screwed the Selesnyans up BAD as a result for them to lose contact with the Worldsoul like they did.Hmmm... ultimately, I think we'd see Zegana elsewhere, leaving Selesnyan Leadeship open to debate.Obviously, whatever experiment Savra was working on backfired and Jarad assumed head research position.

A twist of fortune,The path of lives rewritten, Fate steps from the mists.

Part I: "Bushi"

Something big was happening in Numai, the heart of the Takenuma Swamp. Toshi Umezawa rode with his troops as they galloped through the ruins of Old Towabara. Once, these wrecks had been stately manor houses owned by the wealthy and tended by dozens of servants, but of course that was all before the Spirit Wars had erupted 20 years ago. Toshi had been fighting that war for half or more of his life and it seemed he felt every year these days.

Toshi was a man of average figure and unremarkable height, but had a powerful lithe grace that distinguised him as a fine blade in Konda's army early on. He wore the standard white and gray uniform of his rank under the jet black armor he preferred. A fine black cloak topped his outfit and effectively disguised him in the eve's twilight. He certainly was better disguised than his soratami allies in their pearlescent armor. At least their long lobed ears were hidden by helmets, though pale beautiful faces still shone in the dying light.

Toshi was no slouch in comparison though. He'd been called handsome a number of times, particularly for his striking and unusual green eyes. Though disarming looks had gotten him out of trouble a few times, they seemed to get him into it considerably more often. Speaking of trouble...

"Eitoku!" Toshi called over his shoulder. One of the brightly armored soratami answered, angling his horse to catch up with Toshi's mount.

"Sir?" Eitoku saluted.

"Maybe you'll be of some help. Why are we being dispatched to Numai? I joined this mission without really checking it too much." The look on Toshi's face spoke volumes about what he thought of going to the swamp and Eitoku smiled sympathetically.

"I'm as happy about it as you are, sir. Something has been stirring up the Akki warrens in the swamps. The goblins have been flooding out for the past week, not to mention there seems to be a lot more of the unsavory types hanging around Eiganjo."

"Hm. Probably nothing more than Boss Godo flexing his muscles again. At worst, could just be a series of Kami manifestions. Nothing we can't handle, eh?" Toshi smiled reassuringly to Eitoku. "Thanks." Toshi nodded and the skyfolk samurai dropped back into position. Toshi glanced back as he did. Every two of three swords in his party were being weilded by the preternaturally deadly soratami. 15 men, 16 counting himself, for this mission? No, it wasn't a gangster like Godo, it had to be something worse. Toshi was just glad to have the soratami along. They'd been an enormous help in the war so far. Quick, skilled, and loyal to a fault, the cloud people had saved hundreds of soldiers lives in combat. Which was more than he could say about the blasted snakes. The Orochi had barely lent a hand at all, damn them. It wasn't as if they didn't have enough hands to spare, Toshi thought, they have four of them after all. The snakes hadn't hardly even looked up from the Kamitaki Falls and their precious Minamo Academy. All of Kamigawa could use their wizardly, or even their shinobi assassins, but the Orochi were taking a strictly academic view of the war.

At least the Kitsune had sent their kannushi to help. Their forest magics were immensely useful for healing, but Toshi was always uncomfortable around them. All they seemed to talk about were their Kami and dour prophesies. Their sense of humor stunk too, they could kill a celebration faster than the Kami could. Toshi shook his head and reined his horse to a stop. They'd officially run out of road.

"All right everyone, dismount! This is where things get messy."

"Don't worry Lieutenant, Terashi will protect us." One of his soldiers said as she swung down from her steed.

"Kid, where we're going, the sun doesn't shine."

Part II: "Path of Shades"

There was a certain unpleasantness about the swamp, Toshi thought to himself. A lot like how getting stabbed stings a little. Besides the stench, which was unbearable in its own right, the way the mud dragged at his every step made Toshi edgy and fatigued. Yes, this was a fine mess he had gotten into. All because he doted on Michiko like a favorite uncle. He'd been stricken with the little princess ever since he'd been entrusted as her bodyguard, he'd even gotten her a puppy for her Twelfth birthday, but he probably should have watched how much he gossiped around her if he knew Lady Pearl-Ear would find out. She'd berated him for teaching Michiko-hime such bad habits so fiercely that Toshi had grabbed the first mission away he could get just to escape the fox-lady before she just cut to the chase and bit him. And this is what he ended up with.

"Serves me right I guess..." Toshi muttered.

"Sir?" Eitoku called.

"Nothing, don't worry about it, just mumbling to myself."

"Sir, I think you should come see this." Another soldier called from the front of the ranks.

"Hold on, I'll be right there. I can't see a damn thing in this miasma." Toshi complained as he vainly fanned at the vile clouds. His men appeared like wraiths in front of him as he slogged his way forward through the sulfurous mist. Then, much to his surprise, dead men did appear. A lot of dead men missing a lot of body parts.

"This isn't Akki handiwork." Toshi muttered as he knelt in the muck to observe the field of severed heads. Each one had been speared neatly on a pike and were in various stages of decay. "It doesn't look like any statement Godo would normally want to make either. We can rule out spirits as well, they may not play nice, but they sure as hell don't stick around to decorate either.

"Everyone, if anything pops up, get ready to show it the business end of your swords." Toshi commanded as he drew his own katana, taking his silver jitte in his off hand instead of the wakizashi resting in his belt. Whatever they were walking into, he'd feel a lot safer with kanji magic than just plain steel. As they pressed further into the mire, Toshi kept seeing empty warrens and tell-tale stilts of ruined human dwellings. It wasn't until they came to Boss Godo's manor that Toshi stopped in his tracks. A solid row of the turtle-like little Akki goblins circled the grounds. Their claws sunk beneath the stale water and they stood listlessly. Between their bulging dead eyes, on the slopes of their pointed noses, every last one of them had a brand burnt into their flesh. Toshi edged forward trying to read the kanji roasted on the goblins' hides, when all at once the creatures lurched forward and began clawing at him and his troops. Despite their lifeless appearance, they moved just fine.

The Akki rushed forward, crowding each other and cracking their shells together in a fervor to catch Toshi. Being a sensible man, Toshi backpedaled away from the knobby tide and brained any of the little monsters stupid enough to get too close. Toshi's men flew into action, but swords weren't the ideal weapon to deal with the Akki's thick carapace. Still, Eitoku and his soratami were dancing through the Akki ranks and leaving bright red mud and gore in their wake. They were badly outnumbered no matter how fast the soratami were, Toshi thought. 6-1 odds weren't odds he'd take on anything except dice.

He hacked an arm off one of the ugly fiends and hefted his jitte, freshly coated in Akki blood and something best left univestigated. He didn't have any kanji that could deal with numbers like these, he'd need something that could wipe out a small army, and any spell he had wouldn't descriminate between his allies and the enemy. Toshi's sword cut through goblin flesh automatically as his mind whirred with questions and few solutions, and it was perhaps because he was distracted that one of the Akki managed to pounce on his back, a claw tearing a shallow wound between his shoulders.

"Killyou, Killyou, Killyou dead!!" It ranted as Toshi nearly toppled.

"No free rides crab-head." Toshi drove his katana upwards and back, narrowly missing his own throat as the goblin clawed for his face. The passenger abruptly stopped with a jerk as Toshi's sword sank into its mouth and ended in what brains the creature possessed. He swung his sword free and gutted another of the grimy little swamp dwellers. Around him, the remaining swarm were being neatly cut down by skyfolk steel and samurai skill. Finally, the last of the noisome creatures fell and did not rise. Toshi caught his breath and wished it didn't smell of swamp and ichor. He had three men down. Two had been mauled to death while the third had drowned, crushed down by sheer numbers into the water.

"What a way to go..." Toshi sighed as he collected momentos to give to their next of kin. It was impractical to carry a body though the swamp, so he'd do what he could for these men. "Well, nothing more we can do for them. Let's see what those kanji said." He hacked off the head of one of the fallen vermin and picked it up.

"Why?" Eitoku asked as he joined Toshi.

"Always good to know what's on the enemy's mind Eitoku."

"That's not what I meant. What caused this?"

Toshi grunted and showed Eitoku his grizzly trophy. the brand stood in stark relief on the goblin's bright shell. A single kanji burnt into its flesh: O-bakemono.

"Well, this could have gone better." Toshi grimaced.

"I disagree samurai, things went rather well for me." A low pitched voice answered and echoed about the marsh. It sent chills up Toshi's spine. "Then again, of course, you still live, so maybe I have misspoken."

Toshi looked about him at the bodies sprawled around, most in more than one piece. Yes, he was still alive, but he was the only thing still breathing in the shadow of the manor house. Aside from the massive ogre that had killed everyone that is.

Eitoku, the poor dead fool, was too arrogant for his own good. He'd called to the ogre, challenging it to a duel convinced he'd win. When the ogre had answered, it struggled out of the manor doorway, which was easily twice Toshi's height, and sent a small tidal wave crashing into them with each step. The O-bakemono was nearly thirty feet tall, and each limb was as thick as Toshi's entire body. A fine black robe draped his massive frame like a parody of some monstrous nobleman and a girdle of thick iron plates covered hm from his chest to his knees. A similar metal covered part of his enormous flat head, shielding his beady eyes which glowed like purple lanterns. A sharp crest split the metal down his forehead, ending against his stooped neck. His worst feature was his massive set of jaws though. Gargantuan tusks spilled past his lips, as if his powerful jaw just couldn't contain them. He'd torn through the troops as if casually swatting flies, and it was only some quick thinking that had saved Toshi the same fate.

"You are bold samurai." The ogre rumbled. "Clever too." the monster lowered itself down, crossing its legs lotus style. it pointed one long hooked claw at the kanji carved on Toshi's chest. "What is your name bushi? Or shall I just call you 'echo'?" He chuckled, the sound rolling over Toshi like thunder. Echo indeed, Toshi thought as he stared down at the kanji spell. It would reflect back whatever damage Toshi would sustain in an attack and the ogre knew it.

"Your name small one, I grow impatient."

"Tetsuo." Toshi lied. "But isn't it rude for a host not to introduce himself?"

"Ogres never struck me as the priestly type. Then again, this is the furthest north I've seen your kind in the swamp. What's dredged you up from your domain?"

"Make no mistake Testuo, this IS my domain now. But, yes, I recently moved at the insistence of Boss Godo. He has sent gangs to kill me in the past, which was kind of him because it kept me fed well for a few days afterwards. However, his last attempt ended with the death of my apprentice. I'd not trained Kobo for five years for it to be wasted, so I came to vent my rage on the worm responsible for his death. When I arrived, I found Godo had fled, but his followers suffer just as well for the time being."

"None. I prefer to rely on myself, at least I can always trust me to answer my call." Toshi smirked. Inwardly, he found the question odd.

"A pity then, it is always more fun to break a new apprentice's faith before starting his training."

"Wha-?" Toshi didn't get to finish as Hidetsugu's massive claw darted forward and enveloped him, squeezing the air from Toshi's lungs. The kanji did nothing, designed only to hurt the ogre if Toshi would be grievously injured. If the kanji was doing anything to the ogre, Toshi couldn't tell by his expression.

Well... at least I'm not going to die yet, Toshi thought. And then, all went black.

Part III: "Dawn's Gentle Touch"

Toshi awoke slowly, but as he grew more lucid, the less he was sure he was awake. The floating sensation wasn't that bad, but the lack of a horizon was starting to bother him. He hadn't a clue where he was, but strangely that didn't upset Toshi. He came to the realization he wasn't alone only as the strange diffuse light began to grow and warmth began to seep into his skin. From the distance a small point of light began to grow as it approached Toshi. From that light, the flutter of cloth began to take shape, shifting and swirling like clouds about a central figure draped in the misty pearled robes. A host of tassles hung from its body and a collection of swords swelled from the back of the cloak. Finally, a serene porcelain mask formed atop the figure. Toshi couldn't tell the figure's gender, but he felt a feminine energy coming from it.

"Greetings Toshi."

"I don't suppose you'd believe my name was Tetsuo then?" Toshi said with more humor than he felt. This was a spirit, of that he was sure, but what it wanted with him was a mystery. It wasn't the pleasant kind of mystery either.

"No samurai, I know who you are. You are a very clever man in quite a lot of trouble, even if you do not realize it." Toshi went rigid at that and the kami laughed. "No, not from me. Quite the opposite in fact. The trouble you are in has everything to do with that filthy demon worshipper."

"Well, on the bright side, I guess that means I'm still not dead. I was a little worried when I turned up here... wherever here is."

"I've brought you to my shrine Toshi, to discuss something with you. I am the Myojin of Cleansing Fire and I am willing to help you escape if you answer only two questions for me. Answer me truthfully, for I shall know the difference Toshi." The Myojin moved closer, her cloudy robes brushing against Toshi's feet. "To whom are you loyal?"

"Daimyo Konda of course." Toshi answered impatiently, but as the words left his mouth, there was a false note to his answer. "Well... really, I guess I stay to protect the princess more than to serve Konda. The war has been harsh on him and he's not the man I remember as a boy."

"True indeed, your memory does not fail. He is no longer the man that united Kamigawa. Twenty years ago, he committed a sin so heinous that the entire spirit world was thrown into a frenzy. It was Daimyo Konda who began this war. It was he that stole from the kakuriyo and it is his hands that are stained with the blood of his countrymen. You do well to protect the princess, for I feel she will be integral to ending this war Toshi."

"What... what did the Daimyo steal?"

"That is not for you to know Toshi, not yet. Now for my other question. How do you intend to escape from your tormentor?"

"Yes you shall, I am sure. And it is that reason that I offer my power to you. Embrace me and all my gifts shall be yours for the asking." The Myojin drifted excitedly towards Toshi, as if trying to convince him by her very presence.

"Well, not like I have anything to lose..."

When Toshi came to, there was no doubt as to whether or not he was awake. His ribs still creaked from Hidetsugu's grip and the iron shackles connecting him to the wall weighted him down. The room he found himself in was, to put it generously, a bloody mess. Toshi blinked a moment at the other occupants of the room, for a moment thinking he'd taken a hit on the head and was seeing double, but he realized that the two men chained opposite him weren't quite identical. The twins had been badly beaten, but were still breathing and as Toshi looked at them, they opened their eyes.

"You'd be some of Godo's men that our host hasn't seen to yet then."

"Yes." Answered the one on the left.

"But the Ogre has plans for us no doubt."

Toshi smiled at that and scratched at a wound he had sustained fighting the Akki until it bled freely. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

Toshi and the two brothers snuck slowly through the halls. Toshi had to admit there was something to this kami worship stuff. Just seconds after he'd inscribed the kanji for heat on the chains they'd been reduced to slag. It didn't take much searching to locate Godo's armory and find his jitte, as well as arms enough for an entire battalion. They were well armed, but Toshi just hoped that they could keep away from the ogre while they escaped.

Of course, that'd be too easy, Toshi thought as they came to the main foyer and behold, Hidetsugu sat upon a massive stone platform in the middle of a stone garden. The sands were painted blood red, and Toshi had a nasty feeling they hadn't been that color to start with. Hidetsugu had a massive rake that he was using to comb the sand and the scene was so paradoxically peaceful that Toshi stumbled. The ogre didn't look up, but he did take a deep breath while Toshi held his. Hidetsugu sat the rake aside and rose, turning to the small group.

"That was quicker than expected. I'm afraid you can't leave though. I have plans for you that I do not intend to give up."

"Well, you know what they say, you can't always get what you want. Yamizaki... and umm... Yamizaki, go ahead. I'll keep the big guy occupied." Toshi jerked his head to the door and the twins took off at a run. The Ogre reached out to intercept them, but Toshi quickly drew a kanji on his hand and a lance of sunlight launched out. The smell of burnt flesh and sizzling ichor filled the room while Hidetsugu roared in pain. The beam had caught him just above the eye and melted his helm, the molten iron dripping into the o-bakemono's eye.

"You will PAY for that Tetsuo!" Hidetsugu spun, arcing a claw straight at Toshi. Toshi dove, rolling into the sand and just barely missed being eviscerated by the monstrous hand. Toshi's jitte carved into the wet sand. A simple kanji that would bind a regular person. He wasn't sure what effect it would have, but he hoped it might slow the ogre down.

Slow him down it would. The blood drained into the sand combined with the might of a greater kami and a simple binding spell turned into a massive curtain of light that enveloped Hidetsugu. He roared in frustration and Toshi slowly got to his feet, stunned by the effect of the spell. Oh yes, definitely something to this kami worshipping stuff. Toshi sheathed his jitte and began following his fellow escapees.

"TETSUO! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS INSULT! THERE SHALL BE A RECKONING, DO YOU HEAR!?" Hidetsugu roared as Toshi fled. Despite his newfound power, a chill still crept into Toshi's spine as he ran.

"There is one thing I still do not understand Lieutenant Umezawa. I understand to the point where the ogre captured you, but how did you escape from him?" Captain Nagao said as he sat across his desk from Toshi.

"I found religion." Toshi replied with a smirk, obviously enjoying the mysterious air he projected. Captain Nagao was quite the opposite and he shook his head.

"If you weren't such a skilled soldier, I'd have you drummed out for insubordination."

"Don't forget that Michiko-hime likes me too much." Toshi laughed, and even the captain cracked a smile at that.

"You better watch your tongue Toshi. If many people hear you speaking like that, you'll find yourself living as a ronin."

"I bet it'd be more peaceful at least." Toshi sighed wistfully as he stood. Nagao chuckled at that.

"Go on and take a few days to recover. Keep yourself out of trouble and rest."

"Thank you sir. It'll be good to relax for a while. Maybe I'll catch up with Lady Kiku." Toshi said as he stepped out of the door.

"I said keep yourself OUT of trouble Toshi!" Nagao yelled after him. He shook his head and sighed, knowing his warning had fallen on deaf ears.

Man, I'm basically the only one here that thought Otaria was cool, aren't I? :P

I liked it, but then I think Odyssey is around the time I started playing. Also Scourge had a pudding orgy. Personally I hated Mirrodin. Like, Slobad and Bosh and Geth's head were all pretty cool, but all in all it felt like a giant canon fight. And I have yet to read Scars, but I'm somewhat wary of doing so since I've heard creative was like "What if we retconned the few redeeming features that storyline had?"

Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.

57092228 wrote:

Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.

56995928 wrote:

Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.

My DM on Battleminds:

no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.

144543765 wrote:

195392035 wrote:

Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.

I have the same problem with women.

117639611 wrote:

198869283 wrote:

Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.

And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.

57461258 wrote:

See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.

57461258 wrote:

Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.

92481331 wrote:

I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.

92481331 wrote:

56957928 wrote:

It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your sillycombo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills

Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.

[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]

56756068 wrote:

56786788 wrote:

.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?

Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.

56756068 wrote:

I don't say this often, but ... LOL

57526128 wrote:

You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.

I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.

...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?

I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.

57545908 wrote:

56957928 wrote:

Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).

58397368 wrote:

58222628 wrote:

This just won the argument, AFAIC.

That's just awesome.

57471038 wrote:

57718868 wrote:

HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).

71235715 wrote:

+10

100176878 wrote:

56957928 wrote:

57078538 wrote:

heaven or hell.

Round 1. Lets rock.

GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!

56906968 wrote:

56957928 wrote:

143359585 wrote:

Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.

Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.

You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.

I'd like to see more of the "Blue Cabal" ie. Braids. The thought of Blue chainer is kind of awesome.

"The fuel on which science runs is ignorance. Science is like a hungry furnace that must be fed logs from the forests of ignorance that surround us. In the process, the clearing we call knowledge expands, but the more it expands, the longer its perimeter and the more ignorance comes into view." -Matt Ridley, Genome