First-Date Sex

NEVER have sex on the first date, it's forbidden! .....Said by relationship experts, writers, authors, psychologists, therapists, and Steve Harvey all over the world.

Well not by I. Not here.

In dating, there are many rules that people are supposed to follow that apparently some "dating genius" created with the outcome that you'll find your ideal soulmate. Some of them which we have all heard before include, "the man is supposed to pay on the first date", "no kissing on the first date", and yes "NEVER have sex on the first date".

So why was this rule created. Well why are ANY rules created? To maintain human integrity and withhold human morals and standards. But we ask ourselves this question almost every time we're faced with a moral challenge: If there were NO morals and standards, would we still hold back and refrain from doing things that FEEL so NATURAL and RIGHT to us? Now this can be easily translated into why laws and the judicial system were created lmao but that's at the extreme level. Right now i'm talking about SEX and DATING.

So what are the reasons why people follow the rule of never having sex on the first date. Yes "people". This may be a surprise to a lot of people but women are NOT the only ones who follow this rule.

Don't want to be considered "easy" or be called names like "whore", "slut", etc.

Don't want to be judged in any way.

Don't want to make the other person think that sex is the ONLY thing sought or wanted.

An expected time frame is implemented before sex can happen (90 days, 3 dates, etc)

Celibacy.

Sound about right?

Now i'll say this. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with following dating rules and having certain standards, also understand that there is NOTHING wrong with having sex on the first date! If you haven't clicked off my site, hear me out lmao.

Anyone who is following "dating rules" is probably looking for something more serious than someone who isn't. Because let's be honest, anyone who's looking for something casual or just sex, isn't likely to follow ANY dating rules. Moreover, someone who isn't strict about the first date sex rule is probably much more open minded and on the not-so-conservative side of dating and relationships. With that being said, who's to say that someone who HAS sex on the first date is not OR is less likely to find their soulmate or a serious relationship than someone who waits 90 days to have sex? Is it such a far fetched idea that the person you have sex with on the first date may be the person you spend the rest of your life with?

Before anyone starts going crazy, I am NOT saying have sex with EVERYONE on the first date! Please don't go around using this article as a reason to have sex on every first date Lmao. It is STILL very sexy to add mystery and have some kind of standard. BUT what I am saying is if the energy is right, the vibe is right, location is right, Venus is lined up with Mars and shit (haha), then it's OKAY to have sex on the first date, and it should not be judged based on society's standards about what is "right".

Which brings me to my following point. What if you wait 90 days or 10 dates to have sex with someone and find out it's absolutely horrible and you two have NO sexual chemistry that can't be fixed under any circumstance!? Then what? You've just waisted all that time because of a moral time constraint. Experts would say "bad sex" can be fixed. Or there is no such thing as "bad sex". However, i'm sure all of us can argue with that lmao.

Nevertheless, I can't discuss having sex on the first date without stating that there ARE risks involved, as there are risks for ANYTHING we do in life. For example, you may have sex with someone on the first date whom you felt great vibes and chemistry with, but very well discover that they were ill-intentioned and end up never calling you again. However, understand that there are risks involved whether you have sex the first date or in 20 dates. It's all about good judgment of character. Some people take months to feel someone out. But we cannot pass judgment on the person or people who are able to do it in one date. As long as both parties are being safe by using protection and maintain a high level of maturity about the situation, then there should be nothing to judge.

So guys and gals, it's commendable to have rules/standards. BUT if the vibe and energy is right and it feels NATURAL to you and your date, then FUCK all of the dating rules and [safely] go for it. You never know! And if someone or society tries to judge you for it, then say fuck them too :)

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About Me

My name is Katira Ramos. I have been told that I have no verbal filter, i'm strongly opinionated, and lack the ability to keep quiet. Well I took something that was deemed to be negative by the standards in society and turned it into something POSITIVE. Isn't that... or should I say SHOULDN'T that be the story of most of our lives?