Etiquette can prepare them for life

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Hillsdale.net - Hillsdale, MI

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Posted Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:00 PM

Posted Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:00 PM

Coldwater, Mich.

With upcoming holidays and family visits, it's the perfect time to introduce or reinforce manners of every kind. No need to perceive etiquette as stuffy, rigid, or only for the upper class, as anyone can learn to become mannerly.

Etiquette is an important skill to navigate through any social or work environment.

Oprah.com offers 10 etiquette rules for children, RachelRay.com offers table manners and children's etiquette classes and the New York Times reported about an upscale restaurant in San Francisco hosting Family Night, where children learn to use correct silverware settings, cloth napkins and restaurant manners.

Social skills can impact the way your child is viewed, so give him an edge in confidence and opportunity by teaching him to be mannerly.

Common courtesy. Open and hold doors for others; Stand when greeting or being introduced; Shake hands using eye contact; Use please, thank you and no thank you, rather than, "I'm good" or "I'm all set." ; RSVP and return calls immediately; When receiving a gift say, "Thank you so much!" rather than "I already have this."; Leave the gum at home; Stand, remove caps, and place your hand over your heart for our national anthem.

Table manners. Wait for the hostess or parent to "lift her fork" before beginning to eat; Use silverware from the outside in; Keep hands and napkins in lap when not in use; Elbows and arms off the table; Cut one bite at a time; Chew with your mouth closed; Swallow before speaking; Ask for food to be passed; As a guest being served something new, say, "I've never tried that." Take a polite bite of everything; Don't double dip; Remain at the table until all are finished, or ask to be excused.

Mom's rule.

As my mother always said, "Whether or not you choose to use your manners, at least you know what they are when you need them!"

Growing up, each day presented a myriad of opportunities for her to teach us proper greetings, mealtime manners and more. I thank my mom daily for those white glove lessons, which may have been a bit boring as a young child, but valuable enough for me to pass along to my own three children.

Today, as adults, they have the necessary tools to be comfortable in any situation, and are working in executive environments where manners and social etiquette do matter.

Diana Boggia, M.Ed., is a parenting coach. She is author of "Parenting with a Purpose." Send your child-rearing questions to FamilyMatters@cantonrep.com or The Repository, c/o Family Matters, 500 Market Ave. S, Canton OH 44702. Find parenting resources at her website, www.yourperfectchild.com.