Revenge of the Noyeds

“Of course I think They are out to get me,” Pete said. “I’m paranoid.”

“I’m treblenoid,” Terri added. “I think They are out to get everyone.”

Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.

Welcome back to Tuesday’s Tale, a weekly feature where we collaborate to write a story. Previous Tuesday’s Tales include Da Ballotz and Planning Black Friday. We follow the basic rules of the “Yes, And” improvisational game – accept everything written so far as part of the story, and add your own paragraph (or so) where the last addition left off – except you needn’t begin your addition with “Yes, and.” I’ll start the story….

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Editor’s Note: I had to make them Noyeds, rather than Noids or Noyds, because both of the latter words are commercial trademarks. I bet They did that….

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Mark introduced himself. “I’m Mark, a mononoid. I’m out to get Them.”

“And as a deminoid,” Debbie said, “I don’t think They exist.”

Nancy, a newcomer, nodded. “I didn’t realize there was such a range of noias.”

“And that’s why we get together,” Pete said. “To find balance.”

“We usually end up somewhere in the middle,” Terri said, “around a noid-and-a-half.”

“Which is to say, more than annoyed,” Mark grumbled. “With a y-e-d, not an o-i-d.”

“Why would you get annoyed with,” Nancy began, then stopped. “Ahh, I get it.”

“Have a seat,” Pete offered, pointing to the folding chairs. “Unless you brought your own, like I do. I don’t trust the chairs They put in here.”

Debbie sighed. “They didn’t put them here, Pete. I brought them.”

“In that case,” Nancy said, pulling a chair over to the table, “I’ll take a seat. It looks comfy.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” Terri said. “They rely on that.”

“So what’s on the agenda?” Mark asked. “Who should I be out to get?”

Pete held up a sheet of paper. “They want to patent the genes for eye colors. If you and Mrs. Mark have a blue-eyed daughter, she would have to pay royalties.”

“So should I go after Them for this eye color thingy?” Mark asked. “Or are They even involved with that?”

Nancy shrugged. “I guess it depends on exactly who They are.”

Pete, Mark, and Terri sat back.

“They,” Pete said, “are Them.”

“Exactly,” Mark agreed as Terri nodded.

“If They exist,” Debbie said. “Which I doubt, always.”

“Just look out the window, Deb,” Pete said. “They are out there, driving, walking, shopping. One of Them is sipping her latte and reading a children’s book. Wants us to think she’s talking to a baby. But I bet you she’s really talking to the rest of Them with that Bluetooth.”