The bad seed of Brooklyn's hipster kickball league speaks! Even though it was reported so on their website, the team known as "Prison" isn't kicked out of Williamsburg's kickball league after all. "Just me," former kickballer Robert L. confirms. "I told [38-year-old Brooklyn Kickball commissioner] Kevin Dailey he was a fat fuck and to go sniff coke. Then pushed 2 people who surrounded me and threatened another guy. I can only apologize that jocks picked on people in high school!" There's more to the story: just like every punk show in high school, this one was broken up by... you guessed it, violence from a straight-edger!

"here is the thing. just like myspace, bkkb allows people to reinvent themselves... [Commisioner] Kevin Dailey is now the coolest guy on earth every sunday night to 32 teams with 10 or more people on it. and every person on every team is the coolest person who ever moved to brooklyn. they all drink and get drunk and have a blast and compare how drunk and how much fun they are having.

well i am straight edge. and as soon as everyone found out, i was labeled an asshole. i never cared about who did what or why. i just choose not to do drugs. i work out alot and have a typical "jock" build. so everyone skinny hipster is afraid of me. i have a quick wit and if a drunk idiot is trying to heckle me im going to tell them to shut up. so add all that up for 3 seasons of prison being the best team who doesnt want to hangout and get fall down drunk (which half of prison does on friday nights) and you have 120 pound boys who look like girls being scared and complaining about our team. i dont think they will let me back in the park on sunday nights let alone next year!! haha kevin daily hates me and my whole team!"

For his part, Kickball Commissioner Kevin Daily wrote in a letter:

"Despite all the bullshit swarming around me for the last couple of years, I'm still here. Not anonymous calls to the Parks Department, selective cutting and pasting, or Gawker.com will keep me away. Still standing. I have no reason to go. I've done a fucking excellent job, and presided over continuous annual growth... I have been behind every last good decision towards making the league better and bigger. If I were a CEO, my only flaw would be not raising prices, as supply and demand dictates."

We hear strange rumors about your "prices" and profiting off kickball permits, Kev, but we'll leave them be... for now.

Anyway, we had no idea
that kickball and epic letter-writing went so well together!