Friday, July 25, 2008

So, my last post, I gave some people a hardtime for their crush on Tim McGraw (I stand bywhat I posted). My dear Heather posted a rebuttalto my claims and also posted some other crushes.I felt it was only fair to list mine, so everyone canhave their opportunity to even the playing field. So, here it goes.

The Nerd

I'm sure you are all aware of my adorationfor Mr. Folds. It is mainly his sense of humorand his musical talent. And I'm a huge fanof glasses.

Just thought I'd throw that in there...just cause.

The Dark Side

I'm a huge fan of Nine Inch Nails and Trent Reznor. Again it is mainlythe musical talent. But a lot of you know I'm agoth at heart.

The Accent

Yes, Mr. 300 himself. I'm a sucker for an accent.Especially if it's scottish. No I haven't seenP.S. I Love You, and I never will. Damn chick flicks....

The Funny MenI have consolidated the next 4 into one group.They are all hilarious. Jack Black - in funny assmovies such as High Fidelity, Orange County,and part of the most badass rock duo in all history,Tenacious D. Seth McFarlene - creator of Family Guyand American Dad. Trey Parker and Matt Stone -creators of South Park, Orgazmo, Baseketball,Cannibal the Musical and so on. I love peoplewho can make me laugh.

And to end this list...

The Brains

Richard Dawkins is a British ethologist, evolutionary biologistand popular science writer. He is also my hero for hisviews on atheism, evolution, creationism and religion.Yes, I know it's scary, but I'm giving you guys plentyof ammunition here.

Honorable Mentions

Patrick Stewart

Billy Idol Still lookin' good.

Okay, I really never intend for my posts to be so long.But, I can't help myself. Either way...have at me ladies.

Monday, July 21, 2008

And I really wish that Heath Ledgerhadn't died. I could imagine himstarring in a movie based completelyaround the Joker.

There is a lot of language in this gif, and it is long, but completely hilarious.

I usually try to wait a few days to postsomething new. Ya know, so you guys can catch up andmake your comments.But I see so many funny and strange things on the internets, and I must share them allwith you. So, from now on, just remember toscroll down after the most recent post.As I'm sure I will be posting daily.

Friday, July 18, 2008

*After posting this and re-reading it, I figuredI would put a little disclaimer.This post might be considered offensiveto any of you who are religious, or whodon't have a sense of humor.I am an atheist and I have no shame.End disclaimer*

To start it off, I am seriously excited about this.So I am going to post it and get it out of the way.

Okay, there.

Just a small update. I am sure nothing anyone isitching to here about. This is all an attemptto help me remember everything, as my memoryis getting worse and worse (Jess- I do not rememberthe conversation you mentioned in my previouspost. But I'm glad I was there for you).

So, I went to Lagoon last Sunday. I have notbeen to Lagoon in 10 years. But my friend worksthere, and it was also Employee Appreciationday. So we got admission for 10 bucks. It wasalso Catholic Day, but more on that later.

On the way there, we saw some crazy homelessdude just losing it. He was yelling atthe sidewalk and jerking around. I triedto get some video footage of it, but he stoppedbefore I could. So I will just postthis instead.

Things have changed quite a bit. There were loads of new rides.The Flying Carpet is gone, which I must admit I was a little sadabout. They had the Samurai there intead, and it was not running.We went on a few classics, and I made it on three of the newerrides. I guess The Rocket isn't very new, but it was to me.The Rocket and Wicked were spectacular rides. I love the feelingof falling, and both gave you that sensation ten fold. We would havemade it on more rides, but after every ride we decided tohead back to our picnic area for a beer break(Mojito beers are quite refreshing on a hot day).

Side note about Catholic Day. Okay, there were a few familieswandering the park with these handmade pro-choiceshirts on. These shirts had pictures of fetuses on them.This didn't bother me so much, but they had all of theirsmall children wearing these same shirts.I even saw a baby with a onesie (sp?) This is just a smallrant on religion, please take no offense. Iunderstand these are individuals and I do not blame the whole religion.But these children have absolutely no idea what these shirtsmean. The parents are using their child for some propagandathat they couldn't even begin to understand. Okay...I am going to stop there, I almost went into someterritory where I might offend or hurt some friends.If you guys want my opinion you can ask, I will move on.

I will add, I also saw this shirt-

I could not stop laughing. Again, apologies if I'moffending anyone, but really?Really you decided to spread the message of jesusand catholicism with a cheesy shirt at Lagoon?Do people think that if jesus reallyexisted, he would approve of such things?

I'm done apologizing.

So we went on the Whore Ride (named because Brandon keptcalling the Terror Ride - the Horror Ride, and it soundedlike the Whore Ride to me. I know, it's juvenile).This ride gave me recurring nightmares as a child.I always thought they were going to shut the ride downwith me in it, and then shut the whole park down.The lady on the front opening and closing the shutterssent shivers down my spine.

I completely forgot about the extremely creepy muralpainted on the front. I had a conversation with Monica,because it seemed that the purpose was to have a collageof a bunch of scary things. There's a creepy ape, a dragon,some skeletons. But, I see this orangutan tucked in the back.His arms look like they used to be holding something, but hasnow dissappeared. Brandon told me he used to be holding abanjo, but they removed it. Probably due to offendingthe abundant amounts of white trash wandering the park.But the park wasn't as concerned about the voodoo lookingAfrican guy. I guess the guy who painted this muralalso decided that a black guy joined the ranks ofspooky things.

Click on the picture to get a larger view.

This post is a lot longer than I had expected.Anyway, things I have learned from my Lagoontrip. Candy cigarettes look more like joints now,some catholics are retarded, homeless guysare hilarious, and to the guy who painted thatmural - You're doing it wrong.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

1. As a comment on my blog, leave a memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember! If we're only blogging friends, post a comment that is the most memorable for you.

2. Next, if you feel so inclined, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you leave a memory about me, I'll be sure to write one about you...!

Friday, July 11, 2008

One of my goals was to finish a drawingI had started way back in November 2006.I finished the face in about 3 hours.

Now, I have not taken art classes sincejunior high. I do not have any sort oftechnical background. I basically justpracticed my ass off. Not until I startedposting my work on DeviantArt did I reallyunderstand I was using all the wrong materials.So, when it comes to drawing, I feel like a beginner. That was just a long side note.

So, I finished the face. Then I had to move on to the hair. Now, let me just tell you.I hate drawing hair, I've never really been thatgreat at it. And I'm never satisfied with theoutcome. So, I usually procrastinate when it comesto the hair. In this particular picture I managed to procrastinate for over a year and ahalf. And last night I just decided I needed tofinish it so I can move on to another drawing.I have been drawing since, but they were allcommissioned pictures for friends and family.And I'm so excited I can say that I'm done, andin general I am pleased with the outcome...exceptfor the hair ;)

Click on the image to get a larger view.If you would like to take a look at some of my otherdrawings, just follow this link -TeishabugMy gallery is a little small, but a lot of picturesI forgot to get scans of before I gave them away.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

As part of our ongoing effort here at Current Configuration to make your life not only better, but also 10% more crunchy, we’re offering you this first installment of what will be an ongoing series of Essential Life Lessons. Kicking off this series will be a critical but even-handed examination of a common misunderstanding that occurs in a realm of many misunderstandings: the bathroom.

Put simply, there is a right way to hang the toilet paper, and a wrong way. Read on to determine the status of your own roll.

Toilet paper has a natural curve, a way of being that lends itself to certain orientations on the toilet paper spool.* If handled with skill and knowledge, it can provide an abundance of both sanitation and comfort, quilted together in each square of pillowy ply. If handled with clumsy ignorance, or worse, carelessness, it will beset the user with pain, filth, and frustration. Don’t let it end this way, with you curled on the tile floor of the stall, weeping in frustration, covered in wasted papier de toilette. To convince you, we’ve created some diagrams, harnessing the power of SCIENCE, to demonstrate the natural benefits of the over hanging method. First, we examine the optimal viewing benefits of the over hanging method.

Below are examples of the helpful and fruitful over-hung method on the left and the annoying and detrimental under-hung method on the right.

Notice the dramatic difference in the amount of visible toilet paper. Ironically, it is the over-hung toilet paper that has both the most visible free sheetage and the least amount of sheetage free from the roll to do it. Now, this may not seem like a big deal on its own, but in these extra sheets lies your undoing. Observe.

We here at Current Configuration, for the purposes of ease and expediency, do the one-handed tear (okay, really, it’s just me, but bear with me, er, us). The one-handed tear is a quick maneuver that takes advantage of the perforated squares, allowing your bundle of toilet paper to be liberated with one quick swipe of the arm. This is the foundation of bathroom ease, the cottony bedrock on which enjoyment rests in the restrooms of many nations.

The one-handed tear relies on a quick and forceful motion directed either away from or towards the tear-er. The forces applied in this motion are great and, like the atom, are not to be trifled with. The natural curve of the over-hung method allows the roll to stand fast after a one-handed tear, but the under-hung method creates a calamitous tendency in the roll. This tendency can only lead to this:

Wasted paper, frustration, the destruction of our forests. While we realize that it is possible to execute a one-handed tear on an under-hung roll, this is a game of sanitary Russian roulette. You are bound to lose eventually, and there is no re-rolling an unwound toilet paper roll. The results will only cause you grief. Don’t let this happen to you. Restroom attendants, janitors, maids, facilities crews, and responsible toiletowners take note: Don’t use the under-hung method for your toilet paper rolls. It leads to the destruction of our precious resources and the pillars of civilization as we know it!

*Does that thing have a proper name?

I post this because of my work, and how irritating the toilet paper thingy is.Not only is it always hung under, but it is so tight, that I barely pull on the thing, and it tears. So I get one square at a time. Hmmm...maybe that was done on purpose.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Okay, so I went to fetish night atArea 51. Monica and I were extremely excited about this particular one, because the theme was burlesque, and we love burlesque. If you aren't sure what burlesque is and are curious to find out,follow the wiki. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BurlesqueYou will have to copy and paste the link.For some reason links will not show on my page.

Some of the burlesque stars in it's heyday:

Lili St. Cyr

Gypsy Rose Lee

Sherry Britton

And of course - Miss Betty Page

More recently, Dita Von Teese has brought back this classicform of entertainment and also brought back it's fashion.She is the queen of burlesque today.

Aaannnnyway, there was supposed to be a performing burlesque troupe, but it was nothing short of ridiculous.They were basically belly dancers with top hats.They not only had no clue what they were doing, but alsothey didn't seem to have any idea about burlesque andthe tease. So that was dissapointing to say the least.I tried to dress up the best I could. But my poor littlehat kept falling off. This is the only decent picture I gotwith hat half way on.

So that was that.

One last thing. I am just going to call this now.I need record of it, because I know this is goingto happen. And I love being right. Here it goes.

I'm so excited for this movie. *shimmies*While we're on the subject, head on over to cracked.com (one of my favorite websites) for a hilarious article on who is the bestmovie Batman ever. http://www.cracked.com/article_15029_bat-battle-whos-best-movie-batman-ever.htmlCopy and Paste y'all. You won't regret it.