Skyscraper Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper?

Did you hear about the physics student that committed suicide by jumping off a skyscraper?

What a shame. He had so much potential.

What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?

Find the nearest skyscraper.

Falling Bricks

A man is starting his new job at a skyscraper construction site and he is a little nervous. He introduces himself to the other workers.
"H-H-Hello... M-My name is Peter." The Men grunt and continue working. When it's time for lunch, all the men sit on the edge of the building. the man walks over and sits next to them.
"W-What do you do around here for fun?" he asks. A rather large man turns around and says:
"Falling Brick."
"W-Well what's that?"
"Take a Brick and throw it off the edge. while it's falling yell falling brick. It's hilarious watching all the people below scatter."

The man reluctantly takes a brick from the pile. He tosses off the edge of the building.
"F-F-F-F..."

"F-F-F-F..."

"Fffffff..."

"F-F-Fucking got him."

Blond man joke

An Irish, Mexican, and blond iron worker were sitting on the top of a skyscraper under construction for their lunch break.

The Irishman opens his lunch box, "Corned beef and cabbage again. If I get this one more time I am going to jump off this roof!"

The Mexican opens his lunch box, "Tacos again. If I get this one more time I am going to jump off this roof!"

The blond opens his lunch box, "A ham and cheese sandwich again. If I get this one more time I am going to jump off this roof!"

The next day the Irishman gets corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican gets tacos and jumps to his death. The blond gets a ham and cheese sandwich and jumps to his death.

At their wake, their wives sit together to mourn the men.

The Irishman's wife laments, "If he would have told me he hated his food I could have made something else."

The Mexican's wife agrees, "I could have made my husband quesadillas or enchiladas."

The women look over at the blond's wife, who responds, "Don't look at me, he made his own lunch."

Roses are red...

Violets are violet,
That guy who hit that skyscraper was a really bad pilot.

Bob died...

Harry, Jim and Bob are all building a huge skyscraper. They're sat on one of the high up girders, when Bob has a tragic accident and falls to his death. When Jim and Harry get back down to ground level, they try to decide who should tell Bobs wife. Then Jim has an idea.

"How about, we just do rock, paper, scissors, and whoever loses tells his wife?"

Harry agrees, and loses the game. An hour later, Harry comes back to the building site with a 6 pack of beer beneath his arm.

"How'd you get that" Jim asks, bewildered.

"Bobs wife gave them to me!" Harry replies.

"Why?"

"Well I thought it was best to just tell her it straight. I knocked on the door and said, Mrs. Geldof, I'm afraid you're a widow. She said she wasn't, so I said, care to bet me a six pack?"

So a man is sitting at a swanky bar on the penthouse of a luxurious skyscraper...

When he turns to the guy next to him and says "You know, way up this high, the air pressure is such that you could jump off the balcony and the wind would push you back up!"
The other man is incredulous, and asks the man to jump and prove it. To this the man says sure, and without hesitation heads over to the balcony and jumps off. Sure enough, a few feet down, he suddenly changes direction and swoops back up on to the balcony.
The man is impressed. "I gotta try this!" he says and leaps off the balcony. He goes straight down, and splats on the pavement below.
The bartender turns to the first man and says "Superman, you sure are a mean drunk."

My grandfather told me this joke.

A man jumps off a skyscraper. Halfway down, he says: "so far so good"

What do you call a group of cows robbing a Skyscraper?

A high-steaks mission.

Tom, Walter, and Mike are building a skyscraper...

Suddenly a stiff wind blows through and catches Tom off guard. He falls to his death. Walter and Mike rush down to the street level where a crowd has gathered around Tom's body.

"I suppose one of us should tell his wife", says Mike.

Walter sighed. "Well, I used to give him a ride home. I know where he lived and I'm good a delivering bad news. I'll do it."

So, Walter leaves Mike to help clean Tom off the sidewalk. About an hour later Walter comes back with a case of beer under his arm.

Mike says, "Hey! Where'd you get that?"

"Tom's wife gave it to me!"

"What? Why?"

"Well, when she answered the door, I asked her 'Are you Tom's widow?' She said "No, I'm not!' And I said "Bet you a case of beer you're wrong!'"

Movie idea

There should be a hostage movie where instead of holding up a bank or skyscraper, the bad guy is a coworker who keeps asking questions at the end of a meeting.

A window pops out of a skyscraper and falls on a guy, completely slicing off the entire left side of his body.

He's alright now.

An American and a German architect...

... bet who can build a skyscraper in the least amount of time. After a month the American mails the German: "Only 10 days and I'll be finished."
The German writes back: "Hah, that's nothing. Only 10 forms left and I am allowed to start."

Someone should challenge Donald trump to finance the wall himself.

After all, a wall is really just a giant skyscraper on its side.

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a skyscraper

Suddenly, a fire starts and the three of them are trapped on a balcony. The firemen show up and hold out a canopy for the girls to jump onto. The brunette jumps and the firemen miss her with the canopy. They apologize and encourage the other two girls to jump. The redhead jumps and the firemen miss her as well. The firemen apologize again and ensure the blonde they will catch her. She says, "I'm not stupid, put it on the ground and I'll jump."

Two Engineers are attending a conference in China

Since they are going to the same place, the two engineers decide to share a taxi. While stuck in traffic, the American engineer glances out the window and exclaims, "Wow! What a magnificent skyscraper, it must have taken years to build!" "In my country, it would only take months to build." brags the Indian engineer. Curious as to how long the tower took to build, the American engineer asks the taxi driver, "Excuse me, but how old is that building over there?" The taxi driver replies, "Don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."

Skyscrapers are more than just structures.

They have many, many stories.

What does a Skyscraper, a Rollercoaster, and a Locker Room have in common?

Don't look down

There's a new grillhouse in new York that's opening up a restaurant at the top of a skyscraper, though there are fears it could be unsuccessful

The steaks will be higher than ever!

"Let's buy a skyscraper and turn into a huge meth factory!" said Jessie.

"That's illegal on *so* many levels." replied Walter.

I started working at a Grill-Restaurant on a skyscraper in Dubai

The steaks were high but i managed to pull it off

How do you feed a skyscraper?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

All this time we thought Donald Trump would make the White House a skyscraper....

...and it turns out he's just going to make a second one in Florida!

Whats the last thing that went through Sally's mind after jumping from a skyscraper?

Her ankles.

What happens if you burn down a skyscraper?

You may have Dubai them a new one.

*bah dum tiss*

A physicist, mathematician and a priest are trapped in a burning Skyscraper...

On the ground is a huge swimmingpool. Their only chance to survive is to jump into it. The Priest looks at it, prays for 20 min. says "God will help me" jumps, misses and dies.

The physician looks down, approximates some values, writes down some constants and makes a small experiment, calculates 5 min. says "I hope I remembered the constants well enough", jumps and lands safely in the pool.

The mathematician takes out his notebook and in an attempt to come up with a general solution and its proof, spends 2h writing furiously. "This has to work", he says, jumps and flies upwards in a steep curve. He made a sign error.

(Joke from our Physics professor, the room was dying laughing. I hope I didnt screw up too badly translating this from german, have mercy)

A blonde was being attacked by a bird so she finally caught it

And to punish it she went to the top of a skyscraper and threw it off the edge!

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What are the funniest skyscraper jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Skyscraper? Well, here are the best Skyscraper puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Skyscraper pick up lines to share with friends.