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Monday, June 9, 2014

Today I posted a picture to Instagram that I didn't necessarily want to. It was a picture of me in a vulnerable moment after crying. Sometimes God leads me and I question His voice, His purpose, His decision.. but this time it was clear. Share this moment. and so I did.

Most of the time, we use this platform we have on social media to create a very controlled, very favorable, very safe image of ourselves to the world around us. We take a good 10 different pictures at different angles to get the one that shows us in the most flattering way. We post a loving and sweet declaration of love to our spouses on our anniversary's after a two day long non-speaking marathon of bickering and name calling. Our short tempered selves pose smiling and squeezed in close with our bundles of joy. The caption reads "having a blast at the park" which actually means, drowning ourselves in our phone while they run around half-way supervised because we need space from these littles that we love but are driving us so stinking bonkers that we'd rather be anywhere else at that moment. (mom guilt).

It's unfair really. For us to get to determine what we share with others. Like, our highlight reel goes online while our bloopers stay behind the scenes. It's unfair because it really makes us all feel so alone. It makes us feel like the rough days only happen to us. The sad times, the struggles, the burdens, the boredom with life, and the imperfection is only apparent in our own lives while everyone else is tap dancing on rainbows through a magical meadow of skittles and unicorns.

The truth is, the happiest of people have moments. You know, the moments where you come across a picture, a memory, a moment where it all has built up and finally spills over, a moment of frustration or disappointment, and sadness or tears fill those moments. The most joyous of them all have bad days. The very second I posted that picture I thought, I have to delete it. I don't want anyone to think, "she needs attention". I didn't want my intentions to be misjudged or to get a bunch of people asking me "whats wrong". I feel like when someone cries in front of you, you see a piece of their soul. They are vulnerable, they are open, they are humbled, they are so human in that moment. I wanted to share a tear with those on this cheese ball of a "social network" so that when someone else out there, some mom, some daughter, some friend, some husband, some person has tears pouring down their face they can say ... me too. They can see that sadness can come and its okay, but joy can come in the morning. I want to use this platform that I have, to be real. To be broken. To be hopeful. To show grace and to receive it. I want to smile with you all, laugh with you all, have joy and heartache with you all. After all, this life is better when we all experience it together...

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently then ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... And unspeakable love." -Washington Irving

If I can be the poster child for joy and happiness on here than I owe it to you to humbly share a moment of sadness. Tears are okay. Don't be afraid of hurt, grief, fear, or brokenness. The Bible promises that in this world we will have trouble, yet the greatest news is that we don't have to stay there.... "But take heart! I have overcome the world." Sweet friends, Stop. Breathe. Cry if you must. Sadness is just another emotion, you can experience it but don't like it overtake you. Pass through it like a small town on a road trip, you take in it's beauty but you keep on moving...

Monday, April 7, 2014

I'm showing you Titus' third birthday party that we celebrated over a MONTH ago. Note to self: give people their thank you cards! (I'm the worst at that. Yup, an event planner that's bad at thank you cards. The shame.) So I know a picture is worth a thousand words and you'll probably just skim the pictures anyway sooooo without further ado. Here ya go:

Hope you liked it! Any questions just ask me! This was all really planned in about a week or two so I'd consider it sort of "thrown together" but I work best under pressure. ;) Love my little man to the moon. Happy (late) Birthday (party) Titus!

Why hellooooo there!? It has been quite a while since I've had word vomit on here (apparently I like to sneak as many gross words into my everyday talk as possible. poop. you're welcome.) I blame my absence on my complete inability to be consistent with anything.. ever. I even was going to write a post 3 weeks ago pledging that consistency is the key to fixing my life and that I was going to vow from that point forward to be consistent. Whew. Thank God I didn't do something crazy like proclaim that. ;) So I gift you.. inconsistency with a pretty little bow on top. That I of course crafted myself out of recycled organic macaroni-n-cheese boxes... so we can just go ahead and pretend I'm being organized and crafty all at once.

In all seriousness, it's been a little crazy 'round these parts. Let's see, March 16th we left on the TRIP OF OUR LIVES to Colombia. I wanted to let everyone know we would be out of the country and post a nice farewell note because I was super excited. However, my husband advised me to not be so friendly and helpful towards all the creepers and robbers on the internet. Touché, hubs, touché. He is totally the brains.. and the looks...Why did he marry me again?! Anywho, we set off to have the time of our lives.

I'm going to do a vacation recap VERY soon, I just have to photoshop all the pictures of me in a bikini edit the pictures. One of the days we were on vacation we were so honored to be able to join a local church in a sort of "one day missions trip" on an island off the coast and in all honesty, processing that day has caused me to remain silent on here. I couldn't think of anything else. I couldn't digest the sadness. I couldn't come up with words that would give what I saw the justice it deserves. So, I promise I will share it all with you, when Jesus heals my heart and gives me words.

In the meantime here's some tidbits of what we've been up to...

K5 led chapel at Sienna's school and on the big screen my sweet girl answered "God loves me because..." with "He sent Jesus to die for my sins." Proud Mama Moment.

Sometime within the last few weeks, we had a Frozen watching party. I know the Frozen obsessed fan club is a bit annoying, but I am captain of Frozen-groupies and I can't even help it. I was recently shown a few articles that showed the underlying meanings in the movie that made it not good for Christians, but I'm a firm believer in "If you look for evil, you will find evil. If you look for God, you will find God." I think there Christian themes sprinkled all over Arendelle. ;) Ps: Just for the record, I listen to Let It Go Pandora station without my kiddo and "Love is an Open Door" is my jam. A close second going to "The Happy Snowman Song" as the kids call it, and THEN "Let it Go". (sorry for the blurry iPhone pic) My girl set up everything for the party. She has the planner/detail brain that I have and I love it.

Sienna & Titus had their first soccer practices last week! It's not Sienna's first season playing, but it's been awhile so it is all fairly new to her again. Titus however, has never played before. For my hubby, the sentiment behind your son lacing up his cleats and starting their first season ever of a sport you spent your whole life loving and playing is...well, special. (Oh, and Daddy's the coach)

It was the same type of sentiment I felt when my sweet girl put on her leotard and tights for her first ballet class many moons ago. Tear.

As if she wasn't already betraying me enough by growing up too fast after promising to never get old, Sienna went and lost her 5th tooth. This tooth is a turning point though. We officially have a "snuggle tooth" as my dad always called us at this point. It was a top front tooth, and I don't know what it is about those two top teeth, but when they're replaced by a big gap then that baby toothed smile just disappears and they AGE SO MUCH.

Well that post was random enough so I'll just leave it at that. I have SO MUCH more to share with you but I'm trying to practice self control so I can stop typing this and brush my teeth before lunch time you're not overwhelmed. Love you lots. Have any kiddos start sports this spring? Tell me, how do you do dinner on nights where you are at sports for all the hours of normal cooking/eating/bedtime prep? Give me your wisdom wise mamas. <3 Happy Monday!

Friday, March 14, 2014

So when you throw parties for a living, you get crowned the "unofficial event planner" for anything possibly worth celebrating in your family. I don't mind, because I love parties and I love (most) of my family so it's a win-win. Don't worry guys, I was just kidding, sort of... not really. So when it came time for my mother-in-law to turn 50 years young (she's going to kill me for blasting her age on ze blog but I think she's a babe and it wouldn't be the first time I've upset her, so I'm risking it! ha!) I jumped at the chance to put my head together with my SILs to get the birthday planning started.

My in-laws enjoy eating out at their favorite restaurant Armando's together & my MIL is a classy candle lit dinner type of gal so we opted for intimate and elegant. The anchor to the dinner decor was that table cloth. oooo that table cloth. I'm no photographer AT ALL so ignore the fact that the lights are adjusted differently in every single one of the pictures below. It was night people, and there were candles. Not to mention I'm only an amateur photographer on a good day.

See that adorable picture of her when she was little there. How cute right? We took old pictures and lined the table with them in frames.

I sent my SIL a picture of my cart full of decorations at hobby lobby and she somehow ordered the perfect matching cake. Isn't it adorable?! It's by Annette's Cakes in Orlando and it was the perfect dessert!

It's placed on a hat box to give it some height and I just love it to pieces. Oh yeah, and it was yummy.

Candles, candles, candles. You can not go wrong with candles. (just in photographing them... helllllo yellowness)

Look at my MIL as a baby. Everyone signed the white photo mat as a guest book.

Peonies. My favorite (since before Pinterest). One of my first jobs was a flower shop. Started my love for events. and flowers. and all things pretty.

And you can't read the words, because I'm awesome and they're blurry. But I put the words to an Elvis Presley (her favorite) song from the year she was born on there.

...and this is where she really kills me. This picture below is of my in laws on their honeymoon. Look at how tiny she is! Zoom in, because you're going to want to see her legs. RIDICULOUS!

This girl couldn't hang.

And this guy resorted to iPad entertainment.

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This right here was the point of the entire night. Look at her laugh. She deserves it. She has THE best laugh, because if you're really funny- she'll throw a snort in the end. LOL Happy Birthday to my Mother In Law, the woman who raised the best man I know. After being together for 8 years, I know she's a saint for getting him through the first 16 without me. ;)