PEER INTO THE MIND OF A PARIAH…

Breeding martyrs in Darfur to cut the strings off of puppets.
Cutting currency to barter makes you live with less than nothin’.
Now that this elections comin’ get set for an abduction,
Every heart thats hardened stares into the face of this corruption
–
Some may call it genocide, some may call it lies,
But theres simply something sick to see when you look into their eyes.
So look past whats advertised, realize that alls not fine,
Lines and walls we draw and build to keep our kills disguised.
–
The Sudanese funded the Janjaweed budget,
“The Devils on Horseback” a case of -whodunit?
As we slowly approach the end of slopes to the summit,
We reach the peak and now can see who seeks the golden nuggets.
–
These Crimes Against Humanity are vanity, thats pride,
Uncannily they starve the beings, they burn, curl up and die.
Unnerved by this type of learning curve this skirmish worsens lives,
They warp your mind and thin your blood, no relatives in sight.

The rocking stops as he checks his pocket watch with a glance,
winds the clock then takes it off and sets it on the stand.

“I’ve sat here for many years with failed attempts to stop the tears.”

He wipes his face with shame and turns to me to say…

“Seems like love is a drug that lifts you up,
it takes the air right out your lungs
and when your young it means so much
but when your old you’ve had enough.”

“I was wrong…but life goes on.”

The tears return, I see he hurts, I hear it each and every word.

“You hear me clearly lad? I really hope you have.”
“You see my boy, regret and joy are cards of the same suit,
creation and waste destroyed is where you plant your roots.”
“Can’t have one without the next, the life you live’s a test,
don’t give up or come undone until you reach the crest.”

I begin to interrupt while he coughs and hacks up blood
the action was abrupt raising a palm and says, “hold up…”

“They say without trust than you never have true passion,
then it all must just be lust when together on the mattress.”

I wait for him to start again while he adjusts his cardigan,
but in silence there he sits, so I kneel down and begin…

“Trust to me is like having faith.”
“Believe what you can’t see or touch with warm embrace,
may lead to more mistakes and morbid hate after the wake.”
“Leaves you open exposin’ emotion hopin’ the motives golden,
wonderin’ why your chosen by that sweet ambrosia that left you broken.”

His head nods holding his jaw in awe, he knows I’ve seen alot.

Another cough with blood, he wipes it off like muddy boots,
not a worry he’s in no hurry for a cure, he interjects I mute…

“Its hard to forget the pain that made you what you are today.”

I smile and say…

“I agree, indeed I really do, cause to me pain in life is fuel for me to use.”

“But in regards to trust in a house of cards, I only trust in this;
Emotional scars build the bars and keep you locked within.”
“While you live you breathe till your dying breath of silence
this heart you see on my sleeve needs anti-theft devices.”

He laughs and sighs not surprised, looking at me with cataract eyes he replies…

“Betrayal stays beneath your rib cage with a violin that plays,
the saddest song that’s ever made that you can’t orchestrate.”
“Its like the spiritual scene of footsteps in the sand to me,
But near my sea I’ve been trudging through fresh wet con-crete.”
“This is why the girls and guys lie eye to eye and hide their secret lives,
Disguised speech in high supply is like a leech that sucks you dry.”
“Deep waters where it lurks, never seen when your submerged,
till you reach the turf then exposed you feel the hurt.”
“Don’t feel all down and disturbed, just realize what your really worth kid
and never let one pigeon keep you from the other birds like I did.”

“I was wrong…but life goes on.”

He shook my hand then went inside and that old man, he made me cry.

I turn and walk away, thinking to myself –
Will I be that man one day creating my own hell?

We never got to speak again he passed away that night
I wish I had one more chance to tell him he changed my life…

Anywhere that I go just dont feel like my home
Where is home?
Feel like Im dying inside so slow
Waiting for the moment that I go comatose
My role seems to be this lowly parasites host
Feed from within me until you overdose
Upon my prose like too much coke up in your nose
Like a choke hold on your throat -that wont let go
I jus want you to know YOU CANT STUNT MY GROWTH
I SHINE BRIGHT YOU ONLY GLOW THATS WHY I STAND ALONE
Trapped inside my own terror dome excreting pheromones
Attracting maggots and baggage carrying hoes
Vive Vitam, Ama Vitam or step in the way and be a victim I slay
A victim of the parchment, my page, my methodical ways
Learn the chronological order your way out of place
Replenish the reciprocal with hybridization of sporadic trash
DONT SLEEP ON ME NO HIBERNATION INSIDE MY HABITAT
Belittle and vilify in vindictive verbiage
Slithering to and fro I view you as a serpent
Lucrative in petulant snappishness derogatory to the synapsis
No crossover to be made today, you got your side I got mine
SO ITS POSSIBLE TO STAY AWAY
Ingenuous fades as you make this beast come awake
Ive never been all that gregarious cause gratuitous sewage
GOT ME COMPARIN’ OUR SHIT
Its almost like its in your genetics to be egocentric
What a pity, you still cant seem to get to me
I keep the bright ideas heliocentric
In the center of this sinner Im a winner, your pathetic
I keep it steadily rocking never haughty or gaudy
I got a bag for your body so if your constantly knocking
Soon you’ll see how sloppy I can get it
Vicious and capricious at times
But the difference in my deference,
I dont agitate to disturb shit- no lie
I try to alleviate all of the pain
Banish afflictions deeming me insane