Thursday actuals:
AM weight: 160.8
Food and exercise: as planned + scrap of cheddar cheese pressed on me, which gave me brief but powerful gas pains! Snacking during a fast should be handled with care.

Mount Breakfast!

Mood still crappy. Energy VERY low. Spent the evening helping build the monthly square dance periodical. It's very tedious work that InDesign can probably streamline considerably, except all us editors are volunteers and no one (including me) really knows how to use the program effectively. The Robot Husband is a whiz at it, though, so I'll run my thoughts by him and see what shortcuts I can come up with.

Got the lab results from my doctor's visit on Monday. My A1C is 12.8% -- I'm not totally sure what that means except it is quite high (normal is 3.5-6.0) and therefore Not Good. Well, I have a lot to learn, and I will learn it!

Bad mood, low energy, rubbery legs, and let's throw headache and social aversion into the mix. It's really hard to talk in complete sentences or make eye contact. Oh, and my vision is being wonky, even though my sugars have been under 200 almost all day. I read a few places that this is just how it works when you're getting high blood sugars under control -- your body has gotten so used to it that the change makes you feel like crap until you adjust.

We are watching old episodes of South Park right now. Classic! Every time I see them eating cookies or ice cream or cake, I really want some. I can get craving-triggered by construction paper! That is pretty sad.

My younger, more perfect sister was in town unexpectedly, and so she, my mom, the Robot Husband, and I went to a nearby tourist town for some shopping in the historic downtown district. They have one store that just sells olive oil and vinegar. After a bit of taste-testing, we starting making combos like Persian Lime oil + Coconut vinegar (yum!) and Blood Orange oil + Dark Chocolate vinegar (ditto!). If I ever start cooking more like a gourmet, I'm making a trip back. I bought some cool wraps made from reused fabric that can be worn as shawls or skirts. Everyone else got ice cream at a malt shop, but I was VERY VIRTUOUS and had nothing. The evening was spent editing the latest turd of a manuscript. Whee!

My cunning plan (prefilling insulin syringes and leaving the rest at home so I couldn't binge and then correct it with extra insulin) worked in terms of keeping me out of crap food, but I totally underestimated how much I'd need and came home with shitty high blood sugar. Dammit! It's always something! I knew I was following the diet successfully because the depression steadily crept up all day. I did go to my lovely crazy OA meeting tonight and that helped.

Tomorrow will be interesting -- I'm starting a slow-acting 24-hour insulin to supplement the fast-acting just-for-meals insulin I have now. I have no idea how it will affect me! Positively, I hope!

Did you ever watch Blackadder? The phrase "I have a cunning plan" always reminds me of Baldrick. Then again, if you've never seen it, that just made no sense at all!

Good luck with the slow-acting insulin, hopefully it'll keep you at a much more even keel over the course of the day. Don't be too hard on yourself either, you're just figuring this shit out and it sucks big-time that you now have a far more serious consequence to bad food decisions.

However, you could also look on it as an opportunity. I know, for example, that being diagnosed with gluten intolerance has made it a hell of a lot easier to stay away from grains. Would I have been so virtuous if I didn't suffer horrendous consequences? I doubt it.