just deal with it

One of my favourite children’s books is I’m not cute, by Jonathan Allen. A teeny baby owl insists that he’s a big fierce hunting machine, despite the cooing and gushing from all he encounters. Look, I’ve got long claws and big eyes and huge wings. I’m not cute.

It’s interesting how we perceive ourselves. Over the past few months, two different people have referred to my blog as ‘sweet’ and, while I smiled and thanked them and chatted about blogging in general, inside I’ve turned into Baby Owl.

Sweet?

That’s probably better than ‘boring’, but still, sweet?

I don’t want me this to be sickly, naive, unchallenging. I can probably cope with gentle, uncomplicated, but where’s the edge? I’ve been told I have a sunny disposition. I met a former senior manager of mine a few weeks ago who told me he always remembered my positive outlook. Is it possible that I am Pollyanna? Might that not be a little dull?

I tried to consider what the blog might be, since I wasn’t content with sweet.

Oh, I’m grumpy and exhausted and I complain a lot about the government, welfare cuts, ME, services for people with rare diseases. Ha! That’s not sweet.

Um, no, but I don’t really want this to be the ravings of a cantankerous old loon either. Also, my complaining usually consists of linking you to articles, blogs and people who can string an argument together, since I’m either too outraged or too tired to do it myself.

Alright then, what have I been writing about that has led people to think this is a world of sweetness?

When I first read the Scroobiouspip’s page, I thought it was pleasant and a bit fluffy, interesting in an arty, sewing and cats kind of way. Then I read on and found a solid seam of writing about issues surrounding disability. I like the mix on her page. The way she can make me laugh, the fact that her boyfriend’s white, deaf cat seems to love playing in the paintbox, the dresses she makes, and the serious yelps about wheelchair access combined with humour. Swap cats for dog, sewing dresses for hiring them, and maybe that’s why I enjoy your page too. It’s a mix, light and shade, sweet and savoury, but never dull.

Fiona, your blog is rich and entertaining. Real, like I suspect you are in person. Sweet is a compliment compared to cute, which is what I get a lot. I know exactly how you feel, though. We strive to do certain things with our spaces, but not everyone will see it the way we do. I love your blog, because it isn’t always happy-clappy, just like life.

I feel the “sweet” may very well lie not in the words itself, but in your staunch refusal to allow the dismal nature of the state of things to allow you to get “down” in any regards. That’s my 2 cents, at any rate =)

To me, both in real life and on the blog I would compare you to a good mixed diet. Savoury and sweet. The former are the meaty posts and for dessert we have the lighter fun touches. Write from your heart and about the things you know and believe in. Most of all, still be my friend.

Isn’t it funny how other people see us, and when it’s not at all how we see ourselves, that does cause some disequilibrium! I can’t think of whether or not I ever referred to you as sweet, but if I did, it would definitely be within the context of how proud you are of your lovely family. There is a sweetness in your relationship with Spurs Fan and the girls. I’m glad you share about them because I am someone who values balance in life, when we can get it, and the other aspects of your advocacy and support work, your passion about politics and governmental structure, is heavy duty and not at all easy. I see you as very complex. And I like complex, multi-dimensional people. If you can hold onto a little sweetness, that’s good measure! 🙂

I’m hearing you Fiona…I’ve wrestled with these blogging perceptions and issues myself. Cute or sweet always sounds like a backhanded compliment to me too! YOUR blog however is a wonderful mixed bag of funny, serious, interesting and honest. I love that I never know what I’m going to get. Keep ‘er lit, girl!