Bournemouth Council's ultimate traffic solution

In a bid to cut down on accidents on its roads in recent years, Bournemouth Council had imposed speed restrictions, traffic calming and speed cameras. A spokesman recently boasted that this had resulted in a 20% reduction in casualties on just one stretch of road.

When a letter in the local paper pointed out that this 20% reduction meant that the casualty rate had dropped from 5 to 4, there was a deafening silence. Instead, there are rumours that a Councilor statistician has calculated that by further reducing the speed limit, they can cut the accident rate by a further 20%. Their aim, he says is to eliminate all road accidents, however minor. "No one should have to put their lives at risk using Bournemouth's highways" he is quoted as saying. "If our new reductions are half as successful as previously, we may even contemplate going further and closing all our roads. We are determined that our roads will be the safest in Dorset."

An independant expert has calculated that the odds of this Councillor being re-elected are reduced by 20% for every 20% reduction in casualties.