JK Rowling flees terror cops raid

London (Associated Mess): Serial plagiarist and record-holding self-publicist wannabe-author JK Rowling fled her Kensington mansion early today after being tipped off that the Met's SO19 Serious and Organised Crimes Agency was about to bust her at last for stealing all seven Harry Potter stories from the rightful author.

Rowling, 42, has consistently claimed that she is the humongous talented brains behind the successful children's fantasy series of stories that were first published by a mystery author in London, who lodged legal papers attesting to the copyright of the pen name 'JK Rowling'.

But by the time of the New Labour Party's landslide election victory in 1997, a self-incarnated Scottish story-teller suddenly claimed ownership and authorship of the novels and began to back up her fantasy with a series of recruitment drives that initially focused on meek and mild Islamic hate-cleric Abu Hamza.

Other religious luminaries followed with a vengeance until the world stage was well and truly set for a full-frontal Whore on Terra campaign.

The rest is hystery.

Rowling's whereabouts tonight are still a mystery but UK spooks are known to be keeping an eye on that other master of impersonation called Wacko at his Isle of Dogs hidey hole, the Hemlock Hotel.

Expect feverish activity in the UK tabloids tomorrow.

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