My due date was exactly one week ago, May 22. Although the day itself wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, each day afterward has been difficult because I think now that I should have a baby here in my arms, to hold! Instead, I have photos and empty arms of a my little girl who only survived nine days. I am wondering if anyone has any coping methods for those dismal days when the pain sets in and TTC seems so far away....

For what its worth, I got a cat today. I am NOT a cat person, and I already have a dog. But for some reason, the thought of having something to cuddle with made me feel better....

Grief is just one of those things that there is no going
around. Give yourself time... Some people have found it
helpful to start a journal in which you write anything
and everything you want about your baby. Others create
a web page in their honor... Do not be afraid to feel and
mourn for your little girl. You will always have those times
when it seems to just "hit" you- The fact that you should
have your baby in your arms. I'm sure the cat will help.
(It's funny, but I have been threatning my DH with
getting a puppy). Holding something has been said to help
our "aching and empty arms". Hang in there.

Hi, Jonathan's due date would be this Saturday.
I don't know how I'll handle it. We are planning
to go and plant a rose we have been given on his
grave and let off a few balloons or something.
It's winter here so I hope the rose survives.
I originally didn't want to plant anything there
just in case it did die, but now I see it as another
excuse to keep on visiting him. :)

Mittens and I agree: The cat is a great idea! Kitties don't judge or analyze, they don't offer unsolicited advice, and they know exactly when you need to cuddle. There doesn't seem to be any single way to get through the bad days. I still have them, and remembering all the good things I have in my life is what gets me through to the next day.

For what it is worth, I think the cat is a great idea. My cat was a great comfort to me when I was at home alone without my baby girl. Cats seem to sense when you are feeling down and they are especially affectionate!

Jaime - Faith's due date was difficult, especially as special days come that I had planned to have her with me, I think of what I should be doing, instead of having empty arms. Just wanted you to know I understand, nothing really makes it easier for me. I think a kitty is a wonderful idea. Maybe doing something special in Grace's honor (love her name) may help. I know doing the March of Dimes walk and getting involved in a organization that helps newborns (Newborns in Need) have helped give me some peace.