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Fruity, I thank ee for the explanashuns. I was wonderin' if you be converting the lofty whether you'd be lookin' for a bit of rental? I knows an old codger or three that might be interested in a room - wouldn't mind sharing with Ellie oither if needs be. Best warn Ellie though that they got fleas.

He is flea free but is not very well house trained. Doesn't know what a washing up bowl is, doesn't know what a rubbish bin is, doesn't know what a hoover or a mop is. I could go on lol apart from that he's an ideal house guest.

Oh yes, we encourage fun and daftness a plenty by here. More importantly we try to be a friendly bunch, and offer support if needed.

Posh Essex? That implies there is a non-posh part of the county. By here in the land of the Wurzel we have no such distinctshuns. We'm all country bumpkins, ev'n the townies really, zept the incomerz, like me. Oi've only been by yer vur thirty five yerz.
My Couzin tho' she be a local lass.

Alas friends the rental inmates have already been chosen. The plan is for My Lovely Cousin and me to move up into the loft extension with bedroom and adjacent shower room, then move the Outlaws into the whole of the existing first floor.
They will then have a bedroom, a sitting room, (our old bedroom) and a bathroom. We will have to lose the small single bedroom to get the stairs and stairlift in position, but will gain a master mistress bedroom with on-sweet up a level.

So, no room for any more lodgers.

I would like to point out that I am house trained. I leave the loo seat down, can recognise domestic appliances at ten paces, and actually use them. I also do light vacuuming with a light vacuum (one that is not heavy, not one that has illumination) and share the washing up.
However, I do a lot less round the house than I used to since I was diagnosed with several medical conditions, one of which is lifestyle limiting.
I am fairly sure that I am fairly flea free.

I am just about to make a nice cup of vanilla black tea made with real tea leaves.

Miss Tipsy, I confess to getting me spoons mixed up with me heights. There was me thinking I was going to Wuthering Heights every morning to get eddy-cated about them Brontly Sisters, and now I finds out it's just for the grub and coffee.

Oi has been readin' but it is looking like sadly I cannot stay for long.

Tips, Mrs Lun is ....... okay-ish; the X-ray eventually came back clear & doktor peeps said "more tests" but getting these is ->
Still sore throat BUT at least she can speak now, after a few courses of different tablets.
So it's a kinda waiting game to see what occurs next, though she is much better generally TVM for asking.
(MIL had MRI & has a few tests booked over next few weeks. She too is generally improved but not 2right" IYSWIM.)

We don't wanna keep birdies away though Sleazy. We have lotsa "regulars", from a family of thrushes (thrush ???? thrushiii???) to our beloved wood pigeons and even robins (no, no Batpersons - though we do have bats too).
"Fairy garden" I ask you ........... I suggested that a grenade may be appropriate response. The bruising is slowly fading .

Now as I said (managed longer than I thought already) I might ...... MIGHT not be about much.
Because the stork is due to pay a visit to eldest daughter, who lives over an hour away - and is (we think) in early stages now.
Once the texts/phone calls get closer ............

So I bid you all a fond "adiue" until latererers, mebbees.

"I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Spike Milligan

Hi and by LUN. I'm glad the ladies of your domain are improving. Does this mean your magic laundry bin will start working again soonly?
Ow! Who hit me?

We have lots of dicky-tweats visiting us, but alas no frushes. Apart from a squadron of migrating Redwings of the frush fambly many years ago, we have only ever had a visit from one frush in the firty five yerz wot I have lived here.
Did you know that there are firty fousand fevers on a frushes froat?

We do get three young magpies playing in the jardin every year, always with mum and dad watching from poles and trees nearby. We get a pair of clever crows that dip their food in the pond and then come back about ten minutes later when it is softer to eat.

Blackbirds a plenty, with a nesting pair in the hedge. Pairs of bobbin red chesticles, sparrows by the million, collared doves, feral pigeons, and a few woodpigeons that do a very good famous grouse impersonation when they walk.
We have a dovecote in the apple tree but no dove has ventured within, although we did once witness a pair of the slily birds sheltering underneath it from the rain.
Some of the pigeons have worked out how to hang by one foot from the bird feeders whilst tucking their tail under and flapping like bad to maintain position. The other pigeons hang about underneath to catch the seeds wot get dropped. I end up have to refill the feeders every two days as a result.

We have a pair of wrens that visit occasionally and serenade each other with their beautiful voices.

On odd occasions we get birds of prey visiting and sometimes swooping through, and once we had a couple of green woodpeckers.

At dusk we occasionally get bats overflying, but I now not from whence they come.

There are badgers in the garden behind ours, and I have been battling with them for several years to stop them tunnelling in to ours. Goddess of the White knows what would happen if our Boxer dog Ellie was to meet one.

We used to get newts, sloworms, and the odd eel in the pond, but haven't seen any for a few years now.
We do still get breeding frogs and toads every year though. They offspring are now about the size of a thumbnail but Ellie hasn't found any yet. She always looks so surprised when they are bigger and hopping about as she patrols the jardin.

... and that is the end of our Countryfile report from Fruitcake Folly.

This is our fourth, and my Cousin's fifth boxer. Her first was a huge white male one she got when she was eleven, and he had a large brown patch over one eye, so was called patch. After we got married we had a brindle female called Kim, a red male called Charlie, a white female with brown ears like Gromit called Polly, and now our Ellie who is all white.

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