Sunday, July 14, 2013

SUNDAY FUNNIES: IF YOU CAN READ THIS... (bumper stickers)

Don't read and drive!

Hello Everybody. Autumn the Puppy here.
Recently I've gotten a lot of car rides. My people still won't let me drive despite the fact I do have a (dog) license, so that leaves me with a lot of free time on my paws, and sticking your head out the window to get some fresh air and smell the sights gets boring after a while.
So I've been reading the bumper stickers on the back of people's vehicles.
Below are some of the more interesting ones I have taken note of.

*Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.*Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.*Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.*I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.*I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.*You! Off my planet!*Therapy is expensive. Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

*Does your train of thought have a caboose?*Errors have been made. Thankfully, others will be blamed.*I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.*If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...*See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.*A PBS mind in an MTV world. (But what about FX, TNT, SyFy, etc?)*Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. (And at a discount!)*Better living through denial. (Especially while touring Egypt!)*Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. (Look out!)*Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

*Adult child of alien invaders. (Check your basement for pods...)*I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.*I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. (Maybe it split?)*A cubicle is just a cell without a door.*Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?*Beam me up Scotty! There's no intelligent life down here!*Adults are just kids who owe money.*I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.*Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2? (Only if Monty Hall is available.)*Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong. (I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken.)*Real men don't ask for directions or get lost. We just find alternate destinations.*Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? (Pepe le Pew?)*My other vehicle is a TARDIS! (Or insert whatever you prefer. Just hope it gets good mileage.)*Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. (Check, please!)*A woman belongs in the house, and the Senate!*Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. (Maybe, maybe not.)

*Is it time for your medication or mine? (Take two aspirin.)*I refuse to star in your psychodrama.*I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.*I'm surrounded by workaholics! How do I set a laser printer to stun?*I majored in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that?*If you can read this, you're too close!And on that note. Have a great week everybody and please be back here next weekend for more Sunday Funnies!-AtP.

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