The Jolie gorgessity

Anna Wintour once said of Angelina Jolie, when trying to choose which photo to use for a Vogue cover, that “this girl doesn’t take a bad picture”.

The Jolie gorgessity is on full display this month in the new issue of Vanity Fair. They propped her tits up for the occasion too. I don’t love her old school fringe. Much prefer the shots inside when her hair is pulled off her forehead. Look at this close up. I’m taking my clothes off for her right now. That is an all time face, a beauty for every generation.

And of course there’s an interview. The cover promises details on those incessant break up rumours but we’ll have to wait a few days for specifics on that because right now the excerpts only focus on the children:

“Mad’s a real intellectual, which I can take no credit for genetically. He’s great at school, great at history. He feels like he could be a writer or travel the world and learn about places and things. Zahara’s got an extraordinary voice and is just so elegant and well spoken. Shiloh’s hysterically funny, one of the goofiest, most playful people you’ll ever meet. Knox and Viv are classic boy and girl. She’s really female. And he’s really a little dude.”

She’s also asked about Brad Pitt’s beard:

“I love Brad in every state.”

Please no cheese. I can’t take my Jolie with cheese. I’d rather take my Jolie with some fight. Instead my Jolie is trying to paint the picture domestic:

“I keep telling Brad he owes me. He’s had a few months off in one of the most beautiful cities in the world with the children. And he’s such an artist and goes to the stone yards and the art exhibits, and loves being in such a cultural place. He sculpts and designs (in Venice). He makes furniture, sculpts things related to houses. Traditional male.”

Yeah, unless they’re using his hammer as a sex toy and biting each other I don’t give a sh-t about Brad Pitt’s traditional male. Perhaps I’ve been spoiled by the stories of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton in Furious Love – just finished the book this weekend, full review to come later this week – but those two never tried to pretend they were living a MiniVan life.