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Single Status Update

I started dating this 8/10 black girl (22 y/o) about a month ago. We slept together 3 times and it was pretty great. I work regular hours and she works retail, so our schedules don't match that often.

Anyway, Thursday was her day off, so she asks me Wednesday if I want to do something Thursday night. I say sure. Thursday afternoon she texts saying that her phone is dying and she wants to know where to meet I'm case she can't contact me. I text back 715 at my apartment building and she says ok.

I wait at the front doors at 710. Eventually 8pm comes and there's no sign of her and no text. I bail back to my apartment. I'm pretty ticked off, but I'm thinking that maybe her phone is dead and she forgot where I live. Still, who has an entire day off and yet can't charge their phone?

Here is the series of texts that took place.

THURSDAY NIGHT
Me
7:41 No?
Me
8:08 Not OK

Her 8:57 Sorry I can't make it
Her
8:59 What is not okey
Me
9:13 You decided to text me just now letting me know? I could have done other things

Her 9:53 Is okey if I come after 30 muny
Her
9:53 My sister gave me the night off (sidenote: her story is that she has to sleep in the same bed with her sister every night because her sister's husband is in another city looking for a job and her sister doesn't want to sleep alone)
Her 9:53 Is up u
Her 9:53 I am sorry I had a lot to do (She calls twice, I just let it ring)
Her 10:04 I am outside pick up the phone (sidenote: apparently she showed up thinking she could get a booty call)

FRIDAY MORNING
I'm at work
Her 11:10 Hi are mad me
Her 11:10 Can I see u before I star work (sidenote: we work at the same mall. That's how we met.)
Her 11:12 How many time I have apology
Her 11:12 I told my phone was dead

Needless to say this biotch is dead to me. It just floors me that anyone can be so immature and oblivious to think that blowing off a date and disrespecting someone's time like that is in any way OK. It's like this behavior is completely normal to her and no guy has called her on this bullshit behavior.

So yeah, I plan on going NC and ignoring all contact from her. Maybe girls can get away with disrespecting other dudes like that, but not me. I'm curious to see what her future attempts to contact me entail, and if there are any I'll post them here.

Her 9:53 I am sorry I had a lot to do (She calls twice, I just let it ring)
Her 10:04 I am outside pick up the phone (sidenote: apparently she showed up thinking she could get a booty call)

I wouldn't assume she wants a booty call, probably just wanted to apologize. unless theres parts here i misread. I mean honestly I think even if you'd picked up the phone and yelled at her it would have been better than ignoring the call (not suggesting you do this though)

But overall it sounds like she is young and not mature enough to understand how she's bothering you. Have you had a serious talk with her about how this issue affects you? I know that's probably the typical answer but i don't think it rings any less true in this case.

Honestly though if you really think there is no avoiding this behavior continuing into the future, sure, move on. I would do it a bit more tactfully though. Try not to burn these bridges too badly. Nothing wrong with having more friends/acquaintances. She could have cool friends that either a) she could introduce you to, or b) you could avoid the awkwardness of trying to befriend/date someone whose friend you left a bad impression on.

AndrewB said:

Actually not a bad analogy. There are a lot of similarities between first dates and job interviews.

I have a few friends who are "on the prowl" these days (also helping me out as well, as someone who never really dated anyone). And the similarities I've seen between dating and looking for a job are everywhere. The one guy I know uses multiple dating services and spends a lot of time talking to everyone he matches with (on top of going out and meeting girls in person), calling it the "shotgun approach" as if he's looking for a job in today's market. He's not some super-macho douchebag either, he just knows what he wants and wants a greater chance of finding that person.