I was almost to the rally, four blocks away to be exact. The streets were packed. Traffic was moving at a snail's pace. The anticipation was building, I couldn't believe how close I was. I had taken the days off from work two months in advance, booked the hotel, bought the tickets, and planned accordingly for the best night of my life. The Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson presidential rally.

Everybody at work couldn't understand why I loved him so much. "He doesn't even have any political experience" "Why are you voting for him? His movies suck!" I didn't care he is the candidate for me. I've never really been that involved in politics before, hell this would be the first time I'd vote. But something about him just got me into the political process. His charismatic speeches, his ripped biceps, everything I loved.

Traffic started moving again. I saw an ambulance speed by. Apparently an anti Dwayne protest was going on outside the venue. One thing led to another and one of the protesters went to far and got suplexed. His neck had broke in 3 different places. I had heard these rallies have gotten out of hand before, but nothing like this.

I found a parking spot way in the back of the lot. Section G7, next to the dick with a Confederate flag on his back window. I guess every vote counts. As I walk up to the seemingly endless line I noticed the quality of people waiting.

It was a sea of cutoffs and cleavage shirts. I counted at least a dozen people with skull tattoos on their arms. Almost everybody was drinking. It was the kind of caliber people that you would see at a monster truck rally, or a kid rock concert.

The wait was starting to get to me. It had already been an hour since I parked. The conversation going on around me was awful. I overheard a pregnant woman talk about naming her son after him. Her friend replied with I'm going to try and see if he'll sign my tits. An older gentleman started talking about how Dwayne could end the problem over in middle East single handedly. I was going to be sick.

I finally got in and found my seat. I was sitting next to a clan of rednecks and their 7 children. I realized "Is this what people think of me when I say i support the rock?"

All of a sudden the lights cut out and I hear Hulk Hogan's voice. "Ladies and gentlemen are you ready!?!" The crowd screams "Yes!". "I CANT HEAR YOU!" "YES!" " I BRING YOU OUR NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES DWAYNE, THE ROCK, JOHNSONNNNNNNNN!!" The building breaks into chaos. A group of drunk fraternity bros started chest bumping and spilling beer all over me. Multiple women in the crowd lift up their shirts and scream. One person had to be brought out after he fainted and hit his head.

Then a spotlight hits the back door.
Europe's The Final Countdown started playing. The Rock bursts through the double doors breaking them into pieces. The crowd is insane. He runs down the aisle high-fiving everyone in sight. The crowds starts chanting "ROCK ROCK ROCK!" The energy hits me and i join in. I'm screaming rock so loud my voice cracks and I'm almost in tears.

The Rock jumps up on stage and grabs the mic, kicks the podium over and points at the crowd. "CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!?!?"