Hell hath no fury like a newspaper editor spurned, particularly when that editor is none other than The Paper's Amanda Lorber. And today she's fighting mad over a disparaging (and frustratingly non-Googleable) article written by an angry college student. Fortunately for us, Amanda has no problem setting the record straight. A sample zinger?

"I found it quite strange that a journalist would unnecessarily decide to attack her own. For years, all I've wanted is to graduate and make something of myself...I might have been 'too young to subject' myself to doing this television show," writes Amanda, "but apparently, I'm not too young to be disparaged and intensely criticized by you."

Oh, snap! From the looks of it, Alex got off lucky in that finale showdown! Meanwhile, read Amanda's full letter (c/o New York Magazine) in all its long/rambling/uncensored glory, after the jump.

UPDATE: Check out Alexandria Symonds' review (which originally ran on April 14th) here.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Amanda Lorber

Date: Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 9:44 PM

Subject: RE: "On MTV, The Paper Beats Rock—Sort Of"

To: "editor@columbiaspectator.com"

Ms. Symonds,

I'm writing to communicate my (quite understandable) disgust with your piece. In case you hadn't caught the hint from my email address (apparently, blatant sarcasm isn't your forte either, because I'm not interested in becoming president and it's quite clear from the show

that I'm cracking an, admittedly corny, joke), this is Amanda Lorber, editor-in-chief of the Cypress Bay "Circuit," character on the MTV docu-series "The Paper," and impassioned writer.

I found it quite strange that a journalist would unnecessarily decide to attack her own. For years, all I've wanted is to graduate and make something of myself. To become a successful journalist, one who makes a difference in society. Of course, those ambitions apparently strike

you as "annoying" and as "grating" as my personality. I didn't know wit was crime, either.

I'm baffled by the way you degrade what I do, by your cruel, vain, unfounded descriptions of what I'm truly like. "This is a fundamentally lonely girl. Sure, she's overbearing and annoying, but

it's obvious that it all stems from crippling self-consciousness and a terminally unfulfilled desire to be liked." Oh, you know me so well. You neglected to mention that the show only focuses on SEVEN CHARACTERS, one of whom is my best friend, the others being simply uncooperative coworkers. So, let's see. Six people out of 5500. You're right. I'm lonely. Sarcasm again, in case you missed it. I'm involved in a variety of clubs, including Drama, musical theater, and the national honor society, in which I hold other titles of position and a

lead in the school production of "Grease." From an objective standpoint, I'd say I'm well-liked outside of my competitive editorial board. This isn't the "self-delusion," speaking. I base it off of the affectionate way other students respond to me.

I'm not saying I don't have enemies, obviously I do. You seem to be one of them, but as I write now, I'm starting to see where it's coming from. It's a different kind of jealousy. The type spewed from young women who resent teenage girls that get their names out there. You,

Ms. Symonds, are obviously a fundamentally bitter woman. You degrade the work ethic and academic values of a 17-year-old in order to cure your self-consciousness and upset at perhaps never being recognized for your work when you're through with "The Specator." In fact, if my staff hadn't been excitedly 'googling' every article written about our (national television) show, I would never had come across your disgusting piece.

You should be ashamed, sincerely (and I do mean that), Amanda Lorber

postscript: I might have been "too young to subject" myself to doing this television show, but apparently, I'm not too young to be disparaged and intensely criticized by you.