Where the Nurses are Pretty and the Doctors are Pissed

“Masturbation is a habit that must be practiced alone and may lead to depression and a deep dissatisfaction with oneself. Married men have been known to masturbate. If you do so, even in your married state, you should try to work out some solution with your wife.

If young men have an idea that they would like to marry a girl who has not cheapened herself, we suggest that you consider leaving a few of them around. While we are on the subject of people who come to a marriage with a “past”, confession may be good for the soul, but it might be a good idea to do your confessing to your doctor or your minister or to the diary you are going to burn before you get married, instead of to your fiancee.

If your wife knows nothing of the matters of sex, you must act as a sort of instructor. Explain the function of the marriage ritual as delicately as possible. Explain how she may have an orgasm, and why. Even if it is possible to have coitus on your wedding night, it is possible that it may not be wholly satisfactory. Remember – be a man – not an animal.

Inability of the man to withstand the stimulation of friction until the wife reaches her climax is one of the main causes for failure and chagrin for many couples. Massaging several times daily with desensitizing cream – to be prescribed only by a physician – will have a calming effect on the male organ. Though there will be erection during the massage, it is not masturbation, but conditioning.

Remember, most women, even if strongly sexed, do not experience an orgasm every time. About three successes out of four contacts is considered normal. Inadequate erection or short duration of sexual contact will cause failure of a woman’s response, but the husband can caress the genital area to supplement intercourse and the wife can fortify her husband’s erection by rhythmic manual stimulation. This is neither unnecessary nor undignified for her to do so.

First of all, that magazine cover is a hoot! I laughed very loudly at the statement “Though there will be erection during the massage, it is not masturbation, but conditioning. ” Hahahaha. Right on.

I’d like to know where he got his statistics. I was sort of judgmental about my sexual encounters when I was young. If I didn’t have an orgasm during the first contact, there was no second date. That being said, I usually have about 4 or 5 orgasms to every one of my darling husband’s — and yes, I realize that I am totally spoiled by a sensitive and imaginative lover.

I don’t think masturbation needs to be practised alone – and nor does it lead to deep dissatisfaction. I have often cracked one off on the 08.49 train to St Pancras and found my climactic shout of “J-Lo!” has been met with enthusiastic applause by my fellow travellers.

“I’d like to know where he got his statistics. I was sort of judgmental about my sexual encounters when I was young. If I didn’t have an orgasm during the first contact, there was no second date. That being said, I usually have about 4 or 5 orgasms to every one of my darling husband’s — and yes, I realize that I am totally spoiled by a sensitive and imaginative lover.”

Lady, do you have any idea how you just screwed things up for the rest of us average white boys?!

The covers of Men’s Life and its ilk were my early introduction into erotica. This post made sex sound like a medical procedure (or sex with the specific intent to impregnate, which is about as erotic as a medical procedure).

Carl is right. When you make sure the woman gets off first, she will definitely take care of you and then won’t mind when you fall asleep following coitus. And the three orgasms out every four times at sex, that sounds about right if you’re decent at sex. I’m going to need more conditioning to get back into fucking shape.