Once upon a time scores of years ago, when I was in student in Kuwait University, I was reading the University’s newspaper “Afaq” when I decided to send in a response or an article. On the next issue, with utter surprise, I saw my article printed and then a request from the editor of Afaq to come to the newspaper urgently.

Surprised, I go to meet with the editor and he tells me he likes my “sarcastic” writing style. He offered me to write an anonymous column under the name “Malsoona” which translates into “The Sharped Tongued One” and write about things that happen in Kuniv in a sarcastic way. I was reluctant at first, I was an second year Engineering student and what if I didn’t have the time? What if I didn’t do a very good job? But I accepted and therefore, for two years from 1999 till 2001, I was the unknown Malsoona of Afaq’s newspaper of Kuwait University.

I was cleaning out the junk in my wardrobes last week when I found the folder with Malsoona’s articles. I haven’t seen or read those in over a decade. I don’t like to read what I write, or even proof read it as I often find it too silly for some reason but this time I read some of the articles and laughed out loud. The days of my writing Malsoona anonymously came back to me.

A handful of people only knew who I was, and when I was done writing the column I told a few more people it was me. One of my fan readers turned out to be my husband but he was a fan since before I’ve met him, that’s good I suppose. I don’t know if I had any more fans back then or even if anybody read it or remembered it, but I remember it and it means a lot to me. I think its time my crazy malsoona with the old lady sharpening her tongue picture to appear on Danderma! Also, finding those newspaper clippings of my column made me realise that I miss writing, badly

Since the day I randomly discovered your blog and read your bio I knew that there is something in common. I strongly believe that the nicest people on earth are very verrrrry critic about things around them. Their sensitivity makes them very careful about how they treat others because they know how it feels when someone makes a harsh remark, but once they are left alone in front of a writing tool that will give them the opportunity to say what they really think they cannot resist their urge to FIX the world !! and many time they feel guilty about this secret habit regardless of the relief they feel sometimes when things are improved because of their suggestions. As my doctor once said, these kinds of people are type A personality, they want to excel everything they do, hence, they expect the world to be perfect and the story of their life starts from the point they discover that this is impossible…

Hmm… interesting insight! I do have the tendency to want to excel at everything I do and I do think I live in a perfect world and those occurrences when something goes wrong is something unusual and should be corrected at once?

I must look into this more… I like the fact that I might belong in a type “A” personality though :p

Good luck with that, I am not sure where you can find more information about it. Discovering that was a bitter sweet for me so I never wanted to read more about it. I learned about myself the hard way. This happened when my urge to oppress my feelings in order to stay (Mouadabah) and kind to others who were really rude to me started to come out as an anxiety attack every time I am about to meet someone new. I wanted everyone to love me, and I wanted to love them back, and the latter was the problem for me because I was able to control how I behave towards others but could not control how I feel when they behave badly even if it was towards someone else. It was really difficult to declare that problem to my parents, since it only started to show physically when I turned 25, just when I thought I was ready to meet the world !!
My first thought was that I am diabetic, so I went to the doctor, and from the first time I sat in from of him he knew. My hands started to shiver really hard, and my lips were dry (I was having an attack but kept smiling) so he held my hands with both of his hands and smiled back. He knew right away what was wrong with me, so he had to stay quite and just keep smiling while holding my hands until the attack goes away. He then asked some questions and started to explain it all. He said that it is very common especially if you come from a very happy family because you suddenly discover that the world is not perfect but your parents made it seem that way because they were happy. Thank God I can say that I am almost cure of such attacks, and constantly trying to control my anger when I write passionately about something especially since writing and criticism are very important parts of my career. Sorry for the drama but I thought I should share something back since you always share
your lovely insights with us..
Oh.. I am sorry.. but I have to add one more thing after reading what I have written above.. *blushing*
I just want to say that the Doctor was (Shayeb) so it was not as if there is something romantic about what happened or anything. . Hahaha *blushing*.. I apologize if I gave you a wrong impression, I really did not mean too. *blushing*

I don’t like to meet new people, period. I hate the moment when the masks come down and all the ugliness is displayed to the world that’s why I’m happy in my own little cocoon. I suppose you are right, maybe we type A people take in the bad behaviour more badly than others. I really find it hard to switch off when something angers me. The good news is as you get older you get better, you grow stronger skin
P.S. Thank you for sharing. Nothing shamefull about having anxiety attacks and admitting to it. You are lucky to have someone who set the record straight for you instead of bottling it in and lashing at the world in a different way.