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Yes, we arrived home safely. Little Man had to suffer through the worst of his cold on the road. Gabriella and I were "lucky" enough to be hit with the worst upon arrival. Gabriella is very sick, and of course is not a happy girl. I'm getting over it, but because I'm spending so much time laying in bed with Ella, I'm not recovering as fast as if I were up and about more.

So for now I will just leave you with two of Ella's "quip du jours" from yesterday:

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Done with living out of a suitcase, and oh so done with watching Little Einsteins, Thomas, and Storybook Factory. I'm tired of hearing "MaaaaaaMaaaaa" for no reason at all, and I'm tired of sharing a bed with my children.

We are nearly home. Nearly as in two more DAYS to go. I have been entertaining myself on the road (inbetween changing DVDs, or playing games with the kiddos) with watching episodes of Coupling on my PDA. Praise the tech gods for making that possible, because the kids don't share the DVD player with me. I'm not even allowed to turn on one of their movies that could possibly entertain me as well. (Tomorrow I may have to play dictator and insist on Finding Nemo.)

I have over 300 pictures yet to upload to my computer. I believe two of these pictures are ones where both the kids are sitting still and looking in the same direction.

We really have had a nice time. I will write about it. However right now I think Gabriella and I are coming down with what Little Man had. That, and the fact that I haven't been alone except in the restroom for the last three weeks, and I'm a little on edge.

A few personal notes, because I'm lazy:

Irish Bean: I can't believe we were that close to you. How fun it would have been to meet! You make such a nice offer in taking my kids. You aren't the least bit afraid I might "forget" them? *wink*

Busy Mom: Unfortunately Nashville was only a mid-day drive-by for us this time. I would have loved to meet you and your Busy Family! I think I may have to organize a blogger's get-together sometime. I'm sure the rest of you would travel to Wyoming for that, right?

Sugar Mommy: You know I think I may have been just an hour or two away from you today. So close, and yet so far away. No matter - Little Man would have infected Sugar Bug, and you'd be cursing me for the next month.

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Quick vacation update: We had a wonderful time at Disney on Monday, and Epcot yesterday. We are now getting ready to start the very very long journey home. Little Man woke up this morning with a fever, so this should be extra fun. I will update again soon, when time allows.

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I have a brother. "J". He's younger than I am, by less than 2 years. I think the world of him. In fact I think so highly of my brother that I suspect Bubblehead has a strange, but friendly sort of jealousy (for lack of a better word) for J. ("Everything he does is art.")

J and I, as I said, are very close in age, and when we were growing up, we moved around a lot. So there was a lot of changing schools, changing homes, changing friends. But I always had him, and he always had me. Of course we fought. (Oh we could fight!), but we were great friends. I'm happy to say that we still are, and nothing cheers me up quite like talking to my brother.

And since I'm talking about him, I will just mention here that I think he is one of the smartest, funniest people ever. If I need a smile, or some help, he's the guy to go to.

It is because of this that I chose to have my kids so close together. (My kids are 26 months apart, and J and I are 22 month apart. I have had thoughts since that perhaps I had my kids too close together!) I think one of the greatest gifts I could give my kids is each other. I hope they grow up always loving each other (Even if sometimes it's just down deep inside.) I hope they talk on the phone regularly as adults, and play funny little games with each other. I hope that one day, when Bubblehead and I are gone, and they have families of their own, they will still get together, and sit and talk about when they were little - playing Sally and Oregon, and that time she covered his head in diaper cream, and all the other things they have yet to do together.

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Today is my birthday! I'm 31 today. You know 30 didn't seems so bad - my 20s were just right there behind me. Now I feel like I have my feet planted firmly in my 30s.

No matter. I'm spending my 31st birthday at the Happiest Place on Earth! I wish Bubblehead could be with us, but we go with his blessing. My hope is to make it the most fun, magical day for my kids. Gabriella doesn't like to see people dressed as over-sized characters, and then there is the whole mermaid fear, so hopefully she does okay at Disney World despite those two hang-ups. I'll report back on that. Wish me luck - I may need it.

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I wanted to write an update to my post last month regarding my depression. I saw my doctor resently, and I'm sticking with the meds - at least for now, with a few minor adjustments to the dosage. I've been assure that it is completely safe to take forever if need be.

I also wanted to say that I'm okay with needing the medication. If I take it for the rest of my life, that's okay. I always assumed that postpartum depression would have an end. But that isn't always the case. Pregnancy changes so many things. It isn't just about the stretching of muscles and relaxing of joints. It can throw your hormones out of wack, and in some, it just never is the same.

So I don't want anyone out there (especially mothers) to think that there is anything wrong with needing some help. The moody, frustrated, lazy, irritable person that I am without the medication is not me. The medication helps me to be the real me.

I wear glasses. (Well, contacts most of the time.) My eyesight is terrible. I certainly don't feel ashamed because I need glasses to see. I have a niece who is diabetic. She requires shots of insulin every day. She doesn't feel ashamed of that. Needing a medication to help me be, well... me, isn't any different. I'm not ashamed of that. And if I need that for the rest of my life, that's okay.

Being a mother is difficult, especially today, when mothers feel like they should be able to raise their children, care for their homes, juggle jobs and volunteer work, all of their family's activities and a social life, all with the skill of Martha Stewart and the grace of June Cleaver. There are a lot of pressures on us. If you are struggling, and feeling overwhelmed, it is okay to need help. You should be able to enjoy your children. They deserve that, and so do you.

I don't enjoy being a mother without the medication. And so I will take it. Because I won't look back on my life and feel pride that I got through it without the help of medication. I will, however, look back with pride and satisfaction that I was able to enjoy every (okay, almost every) moment of my children's lives - that I spent time painting and playing tag, and cuddling them, instead of hiding away feeling sad, even if I needed a little pill to help me do that.

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Quick road update before I post this: My internet connections have been sketchy, so I haven't been able to get on regularly. We're safely in Gainesville now, and having fun visiting with family. My grandparents live on a farm about 30 minutes outside of town, and the kids are loving it. They run around and visit the animals, and the favorite activity has been playing in the sawdust. I'll update again soon, and with pictures, but for now I'll leave you with this....

This is Little Man's "Big Rock". He adopted it over the summer. When he found it in the yard, I really never thought it would become such a part of our lives. I figured he'd play with it and then leave it out in the grass somewhere, where I would eventually find it and toss it into the alley.

Little Man grew very attached to his "big rock", however, and now I'm afraid it is here to stay. He loves this rock. We fought against it coming into the house but somehow it found its way in. We tried hiding the rock so he would forget about it, but to no avail.

We finally gave up, and the rock is just a part of his toy collection now. It has taken baths with him, and slept in his bed with him. He has carried it with us on outings. The saddest part of all this is I will never be able to get rid of this rock now. Oh sure, he will cast it aside and not care about it, but as long as I have memories of him clutching the rock in his tiny little boy hands while he slept, I will not be able to toss it out in the alley where it belongs. I will put it in his keepsake box and save it. I'll smile lovingly at the rock when I see it years from now, remembering him wanting to take it with us when we went to pick his sister up from school. And when I'm very old, I will find it in my attic, pick it up in my shaking hands, and turn it over and over, studying it's rounded shape, and wonder why the hell I've put a rock in my son's keepsake box! (Because let's face it, I won't remember.)

The picture isn't loading for me, nor is haloscan. I wish I had time to research the problem, but I don't. I hope it fixes itself. If not, I'm sorry.

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(when I referenced it here) I will tell the story of the one time in my life that I was naughty. (My parents read my blog, so I'm sure they will attest to this - I was only naughty once. ;)

This happened when I was, oh... about six years old, and my brother would have been four. I had this lovely new package of markers. (Do you remember the thrill of having new crayons or markers when you were little?!) My brother and I (and my memories may be a little sketchy here, because let's face it, I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. This was 24 freaking years ago!) sat at a little table downstairs with my new markers, and I proceeded to color his entire hand purple! The whole thing! Bright purple.

Needless to say my mother wasn't happy with me. My poor defenseless brother (the victim in all of this) had to take several long baths to soak the purple off his hand. As for me, my mom took my brand new markers away from me. I was heartbroken.

But you see, I was just a victim of the influence of evil children's programming. Does anyone remember the bit on Sesame Street where Bert's hand is purple? I don't remember why it was purple. The whole bit was something about him covering it up with a glove or something.... Anyway, it was this episode that inspired my "art".

There is a lesson to be learned here. Sesame Street is the devil's work - obviously. How else would such a sweet little girl be brought to reek such havoc on her little brother?

Oh, and just incase your question in all of this is the same as Ella's was, I don't know what became of the markers. My mom probably still has them somewhere. I'm sure she hesitates giving them back to me for fear that I might dye my husband's foot green. (Hey! That would be cool!!)

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We are now beginning day two of our journey. So far I've only had three thoughts of regret. Stay tuned.....

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A few of you out there already know about my plans. I haven't mentioned them here on my blog yet, because to be honest I have to keep them pretty hush-hush.

I have decided to join my parents on their trip to Florida to visit my grandparents. We are driving. I haven't seen my grandparents since my brother's wedding about 5 and a half years ago. They have never met my children.

Oh yes, the children. They are sort of attached to me, you know. (Figurativly and literally). Yes, we are taking them with us. This is the part of the trip I really shouldn't talk about too much. You see if the Loony Bin catches wind of these plans, they will march right over here and have me committed. Four days in the car with two small children. (And another four days to get home. I suppose if it doesn't go well I can just live there.)

Hopefully there will be plenty of wireless internet connections along the route. I will be taking my beloved laptop, and blogging on the way. Stay tuned - things are sure to get scarycrazy comical.

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Name: Christine
Location: Wyoming, United States
I'm the Mom of two. They drive me crazy. I love them dearly. I want one more. I'm not
insane, yet. My hubby says I'm a snob with an inferiority complex. There is more to me than
being a mother. I just don't remember any of it.