The Importance Of Community

I was chatting with a friend recently about the importance of community. We both had been on volunteer trips to remote places of the world where the people had nothing - no working toilets, electricity, nothing. But we both noticed how they had community and because of that they were happy. They never complained about their situation or ever expressed feelings of depression. They were laughing, smiling and sharing stories as one close knit village. They had each other. There was always someone to watch the children and the women worked together while the men worked together. No one was ever truly alone.

So many people in large metro cities live alone. Especially as we get older and our friends get married and move away, we lose a bit of the community we created around us. I come across many people who have feelings of loneliness, sometimes even depression. Humans were meant to live in packs, not alone. It’s so important to have people around us that support us and encourage us to be our best selves. We need people to do fun things with, travel, explore, eat, drink, laugh.

For my clients who don’t have a good community around then, I help them join activities or groups that will add like-minded people around them. People have a lot of opinions about religion but the one great thing about it is that it provides you with a community. Even if you don’t believe, being around people who share similar values as you will add a positive layer to your life. I encourage clients to volunteer through an organization such as New York Cares and to pick one activity they really like and volunteer there regularly. You’ll get to know the other volunteers and make friends with people you might not have met otherwise. Joining fun leagues like softball or even bocce ball (which I did for 3 years!) will help you be out and social around other people your age.

There are so many things you can do to help build your community. Sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself is not one of them. I challenge you to sit down today and make a list of 10 activities you could potentially do and then commit to 3 of them. You’ll notice a huge improvement in your overall inner happiness - which is the most important thing you could have. Everything starts with figuring out your own happiness first. Only then can you hope to find a relationship.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel but it’s up to you to make positive changes to get out of your funk. No one else can can make you happy - you need to make that decision for yourself.

If you’re interested in chatting about this, email me at datingrehabnyc@gmail.com