CaptivatedI'm captivated-
By your intellect and depth.
You are proof that love is life,
And not death.
Will you let me be-
The chorus to your song?
Will you let me be-
Your shoulder to cry on?
You've taken my breath.
You've stolen my heart.
A thief in the night
Thats perfected her art.
I'm lost in your eyes.
You hang from my lips,
Impatiently waiting,
For the next time we kiss.
You make me feel warm
On the coldest of nights.
You make me feel passion
Every time that we fight.
You make me feel
That love can be real.
But best of all,
You make me feel.

FeelingsYou are beautiful.
Wont you believe this?
A color, a shade that doesnt exist.
My existence is greater,
By your existence.
Just when I think I know you,
Completely
I find out there is so much more,
To learn.
Could you shine any brighter?
Are you of this world or are you simply
A dream?
Your book is written in a language called
Love.
Cant you see that I am here,
For you.
You make the sun burn
Brighter.
Colors more
Vibrant.
If you are lost,
Let me guide you.
If you are losing your grip,
Give me your hand.
For I will never, ever let you down.
I just want to be there
With you.
Because I believe
In you.
For you are a rose in a garden of daisies.

As Of Today I Have Changed My Opinion Of Votingthere were close to 30 people who voted on my mumm...
and if you have seen it that speaks wonders for their dedication...
i admire such dedication... in fact i wanna be just like them...
so from now on i will vote on between 1 and 3 mumms a day... (y)
that is all

Breast Cancer Awareness Contest/drawing
As most of you know, Baby Jesus is donating $1 dollar for every Breast Cancer Awareness ribbon sold to Breast Cancer Awareness charity. Many of you also may have heard that I am "collecting" these ribbons.
I am doing a salute and a pimp out ( if you want the pimp out) per ribbon bought. Now I am sweetening the deal EVEN more. At the end of the month, or whenever the ribbons are no longer being sold, I will be holding a drawing.
A drawing for what you may ask? My points, for 12 hours. During which time I will run an auto 11 ( which I will supply and POSSIBLY a bomb. I already have the auto, so that's a guarantee.

My Heart, My Life, The Very BreathMy Heart, My Life, the very breath that sustains me,
It is you I have come to stand before. My purpose, my essence, my salvation, my Angel of Mercy, that saved me with a kiss and held me safely with a smile. It is because of you I live for the first time. It is because of you I now want nothing more than to love you.
I know little to nothing of love. My knowledge of the matter was an illusion and showed me what I thought I should believe. Why did I limit myself? Why did I wait so long to look past my narrow sight to a greater beauty, that now drives me to my knees with such a force, that it has shattered the reality of what I once believed?
The questions that spin through my head move to quickly and are unreachable. But I know they have to do with you. I only know this because when I glance just upon the shadow of your image, it spins my mind to try and think of the things I wish to say. It is the same mind that overwhelms me with the thoughts of why you are with me and n

#1 FantasyShe is sleeping on her side, facing the edge of the bed. She is wearing a t-shirt, no panties. She is not allowed to wear panties when He is home. If He wants to use her, He will, when He wants, where He wants, so no panties. Her cheeks are flushed, she breathes easily in and out of her mouth. She is peaceful. He walks in and looks down at her, sleeping so soundly. He reaches down and tucks her hair behind her ear. She is His.He unzips His pants. He is aroused. He wants her. He doesn't care that she is sleeping. She is His. He takes His hard cock out of His pants and rubs it against her lips. She doesn't respond. She is sleeping very soundly. He slips His hand behind her head. He lifts her face to His and kisses her lips.He whispers to her "wake up, I want you". She opens her eyes sleepily. He gently places her head back on the pillow. He rolls her over onto her back; she looks up at him, blinking the sleep from her eyes. He kneels over her, one knee next to each breast. He places His

And Peoplewonder Why I Dont Go To ChurchChurch of 'Holy Ghost' rocked by sex and assassination allegations
KSL TV News, Utah/July 2, 2009
By John Hollenhorst
Magna - Accusations of sex abuse and assassination threats are swirling around a small religious group led by a man who claims to be the Holy Ghost. He calls the charges a pack of lies, but they prompted a raid by the Secret Service, the FBI, and child protection investigators.
Six weeks ago, officers surrounded and searched the Church of the Firstborn and the General Assembly of Heaven's headquarters in Magna, interrogating members for hours. According to the Salt Lake County Sheriff's Office, they found nothing.
If the charges are lies, they reveal a most unusual church, torn apart by bitter personal and religious feuds.
Two weeks ago, KSL News trailed the church's members as they left Utah in a convoy of vehicles. It was a long-planned move at the direction of their prophet, Terrill Dalton, who says it's been revealed he's the Holy Ghost and the father of Jesus

Woman Like YouAINT NO WOMAN LIKE DA ONE I GOT MY LUV 4 U WILL NEVA STOP I ALWAYS PUT U ON TOP I ALWAYS HAV A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART NO ONE CAN SEPARATE US APART I ALWAYS BE AT HOME WIT U N NEVA LEAVE U ALONE KUZ UR MY ZONE EACH MOMENT WIT U IS LIKE A DREAM KUM TRUE I LOVE U BABY MY BOO I DO ANYTHING 4 U N U KNOW I DO WE WER MEANT 2 B WEN IM CLOSE 2 U U SET ME FREE UR MY DESTINY MY REMEDY UR DA ONE I ADMIRED N DESIRED ME WIT OUT U MY LIFE WILL EXPIRED

The Voca Peoplehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6EYrqIn0yI&feature=player_embedded

11:1511:15 Hrs. is show time, tomorrow. My sister went limp because I heard everything her husband Edward J. Knorr III said in the back ground. Perfect hearing the military gave me.
Telemitsu, I am ready to sit at the table. Get on my Right.
Master's and The Saint's are dead silent. I intend to hurl today and yesterday into the future.
Who else but a certain physician has the most to gain than me because of her stupidity it created this mess. Others merely went along because it was good place to dump me.
This house is worthless but the occupant has a bounty.
A Man of God came looking for me. A common man that works hard for hes living as a Licensed Electrician. Thought something happened to me. I gave him a very brief explanation of what. He Prayed for me.
Show Time is Tomorrow, Thursday the 8th at 11:15 AM.
?Norio?

Geography Of A Woman
Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa ,half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America , well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India , very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France , gently aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain , with a glorious and all conquering past.Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia , lost some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.Between 61 a nd 70, a woman is like Russia , very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet . Off the beaten path, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge an

Black Cold HeartI once thought you were the onewho would rescue me from my hellI thought you were the onethat would show me love wouldnt be all about painIf only I knew then what I know nowI'd save myself years of pain and tearsthat your sort of love and kindness has causedI was young and foolish and wanted to be lovedYou were insecure and controlling, so cruel and coldYou taught me what it was like to live in fearYou taught me me oh so well how to hateYou held my heart in your hands and squeezed it with all your mightYour heart is emptyYour soul is cold and blackYour mind is filled with angerand your actions filled with spiteI've gone and left you, left that private hellYou no longer are allowed to hurt meYou can no longer make me crytook alot to fix me, fix my broken soulIm alot stronger then I was when I left youNo longer my tears are you allowed to seeOne day you will realize what you lostOne day Karma will let you seeThe consequesnces of your actionsfor the love you showed to me

Are You The Girl For MeNAME:____________
AGE:______________
FAVORITE COLOR:____________
WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF A ROMANTIC EVENING:__________
STAR SIGN:________________
WHATWOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT ME:________________
IF WE WERE TO MEET IN PERSON WHAT WOULD YOU THINK OF ME :_________
AND IF I WERE TO BY YOU A GIFT WHAT WOULD YOU SAY:___________
P.S NO GUYS

BirthdaywishOn a stormy night, you walk to you car parked near the end of the parking lot it has been a long day and all you want is to go home and take a warm bath. The closer you get to your car the hair on the back of your neck stands up you feel as if some one is watching you. Then you hear tires squealing in behind you turn to look and a dark van approaches you at a high rate of speed. You start to run for your car when the vans pulls up close to you then the door opens, your pulled in and a dark hood placed over you. You try to scream but there is a hand covering your face, you fell another set of hands removing your clothes , your hands our bound as you lat there on the floor of the van in nothing but your panties.You drive for what seems hours your body quaking in fear, thinking what is going on, how can this be happening to me. Your pulled out of the van and lead down some steps you feel a cool and damp air around you. As you are lead into a room your placed on a bed and the binds are rem

LoversAs I awake in the early morning light, I stare at you and watch you sleep. My mind replays last night, the dinner, and that long drive home. I gently brush the hair from your face I think what a beautiful woman and what a lucky man I am.I lay back and my mind wonders to my truck, you sitting right next to me on the seat, your head on my shoulder. The smell of your perfume was intoxicating, that skirt showing enough leg, and that blouse cut really low to draw the look of every man in the restaurant, but you only had eyes for me, and I for you. In the truck you take my hand and kiss it softly and run it over your neck and down the front of your blouse. I run my hand over your creamy white legs, as I edge it to the hem of your skirt you stop me and hold my hand.You kiss my neck softly and whisper in my ear that you have a surprise for me. With another kiss, your hand is on my crotch felling me through my jeans. I grow with the sensation of your touch, I groan out of delight as you pull th

Passion Of A StrangerOne night as you decide to out for a night on the town, you decide to wear a short black skirt and a red lace top with a black short jacket. your careful to show enough to make them stop and stare. As you are driving to a small local club, something catches your eye, a new place that you have never been before. The look of the place is somewhat alluring to you against your better judgment you decide to stop in and check it out. When you walk in the place is dimly lit and threes is only a few people in the bar, you decide to have a drink before you leave, you slowly walk up to the bar when you feel that there is someone watching you. You play it off and move to the bar, as you sit a the bar sip at your drink you feel someone slid down on the stool next to you. he accidentally rubs your arms, as you turn to say something he apologizes and introduces himself (me), as you turn to introduce yourself your eyes meet and you see a fire and passion behind his eyes that you have seen before. As

Lost Part TwoLOST PART TWOAs you lay there body just racked with pleasure and fear. Voice’s murmur behind you, yet you can no make out what there saying. Then suddenly your kissed, a deep and passionate kiss, you taste yourself on his lips. As you feel yourself being lifted up, and lowered on to the man you feel his thick head of his cock spread your quivering, wet pussy lips. You moan in delight as the intrusion, as he went deeper you moan and take it all in. without thinking your begin to rock on him back and forth feeling him grow stiffer inside you throbbing in you, as you get into your rhythm another set of hands push you forward.As you fall on top of him his kisses your neck even more, and he lifts up in you and begins to cross your legs with his and pumps form underneath. Your feel your own juices dripping down and making his balls soaked with your cream. His hands running up and down your back grabbing your ass cheeks and spreading them, then you feel the other hand running inside you

Lost Part OneLOSTAfter a day of backpacking through the blue mountains you decide to head home a little after sunset. On a lone dark road winding thru the woods trying to find a major road, the check engine light comes on forcing you to pull over. A sigh of disbelief escapes your lips wondering what else can go wrong, as you come to a dead stop smoke bellows from underneath the hood. You lay your head against the steering wheel in a sigh of frustration, you pull your cell phone from your purse to attempt to call for help, but you so far out in the woods there is no signal. As a wave of despair washes over you curse a loud, as you sit there for a few moments looking in both directions and no sign of any passing cars the darkness seems to creep up all around you enveloping you. You scan there area looking for some sign of life a house to make call from would be nice you say to yourself, then off in the distance you see a light, you head out to see if hopefully you can reach the source and call for he

Short Skirts And Big Wallets
Attention all males seeking
any and all females in short skirts
Personality is irrelevant
Conversations unneeded
So long as she can service his ego.
Attention all females seeking
any and all males with big wallets
Character is meaningless,
Trust is non existent,
but that is okay as long as he is footing the bill.
The attraction will fade as sure as the sun will rise,
because both are chasing the wrong dream.
His wallet will not keep you happy forever
Your short skirt will soon go out of style.
Poem By Tammy C.

Virgin VigilanteOnce inside Jason wasn't really scared. He'd been around long enough, and in enough battles, to not let much rattle him. But the Virgin was a wholly different place altogether.
Lots of leather. Lots of big men with long beards and scraggly hair. And lots of women with nothing much on. The waitresses, in fact, were topless, even though the Virgin wasn't a pole dancing joint.
He heads to the bar. The bartender, a woman, asks: "What'll you have? And the menu includes me."
Jason: "tempted. But am looking for a man named Roberts, Robbie Roberts." She had a blank look on her face, said she'd be back in a moment and walked back into what looked like the kitchen.
Jason had no drink, which he needed. Before he even realized what was happening she stepped out of the kitchen with a sawed off shotgun pointed directly at him.
She said: "Ok, cunt licker, what do you really want?"
To be continued.... http://www.fleshbazaar.com/Home.asp

Baby NamesIn lieu of a baby names mumm...
When I was born, I didnt have a name for a month. Because my parents were so indecisive, it took them forever to pick something. And after all this hassle, they gave me a most generic Russian name you can ever come across: Natasha (Natalia).
I once asked my mom why they didnt plan ahead, and she said that what if I was born dead or somethin. I asked her how come it took them so long to name me, and she said that they didnt wanna give me a pretty name, in case I was ugly; cause that wouldnt have matched.
So I guess if one day I have a kid (poor thing), I can just wait til it stops lookin like a bullfrog to give it a name.

Hollywood MistressHollywood..A đâЯĸč ĹŋģëŁ@ fubar
I am a classic renaissance woman. I paint, draw, craft and in my spare time sing and write songs. Currently working on some songs to submit for a motion picture soundtrack and hoping to submit some of my art to a local gallery by next year.People are interesting to me so I love meeting and connecting with different people. Love to stay busy and constantly networking. Bringing people together is also a passion of mine. If I can make just one person change their negative way of thinking then I am happy.

StupidzThere is a certain type of females (looks wise) that scream "I"m a dumb bitch, and I will make your life miserable". I wish men learned how to recognize that type *sigh

Relationships What Helps It Thrive !This might sound overly simplistic, but the success of a long- term relationship has everything to do with how much fun you have together. Do you laugh together? Do you ask how his/her day went? Are you genuinely interested in one another? It's easy to get into a habit of overlooking common courtesies, but the more goodwill you establish, especially over time, the better. This might all sound like common sense, but there are plenty of couples who DON'T care about their partner's day and who neglect to listen to one another. Play. Have fun. Do it like the relationship depends on it. And never, ever forget the importance of kindness. This sense of goodwill and loving atmosphere will make it easier for a couple to broach touchy subjects. If you have a bond of trust, you inherently know your partner's intentions, thereby decreasing the need for defensiveness (remember, the latter was one of the signs for trouble). For instance, comments from others that might make your bristle might not ne

My First Blog On Fubarthis is what i suggest
to all the girls with the very large breasts
get out your chest
show me your big t.i.t.s
oh yes god bless its time to get fresh
so take off your dress
take off your k.n.i.c.k.e.r. with the s
yes you know its in your best interest
so get undressed please thats my request

What I Need To Let Go!Where to start? I am finally trying to get my life together once and for all. I have done a lot of what I feel to be wrong things in my life so its time to clean out the skeletons my closet, forgive everyone else and most importantly myself, so I can finally be happy. I battle with many things and I many truly battle with them. I have done things that I was taught it was wrong and in my heart it really was. There is many that don't have faith in me and don't believe I will ever change. Everyone has their demons and down falls, it is time that I mine. It is not gonna be easy....it plays over and over in my head. I am not gonna plaster all over the internet what my demon is that I constantly battle with, but the ones that are close to me know what it is and hopefully can encourage me and help me stay strong. I am really trying to get my life straight with God so I can truly be happy something I haven't been in a really long time. So, I am asking all that know me not to tease me as far w

Bad Dayyou know them days when everything seems to be going fine, then shit hits the fan. my work calls and wants me to go fill in for a few days on another boat... like right then...on thier way to pick me up. i have my kids and cant just go, the ex is at work...(i could use the extra money and all)...my ex wife starts flipping out on me cuz she had plans to go to new orleans and then i go to check my bank account and the fucking landlord never cashed the security deposit chech two months ago... so suddenly im short when i thought i was catching up on my credit card balance...grrr now ill be over drawn. my kids are grouchy today and fighting with each other since dinner and thats about when all this slapped me in the face.
i needed to get that off my chest... so grrr

[i Stepped Out Not Down.]That's right kids, I once again abused the only system I have for time off.All the way dressed, sneezing, wheezing, and squeezing and just didn't have it in me... called in sick.
It's not that I'm not grateful, this really is the best job I've ever had, but something about it isn't really working out
must be that whole... showing up thingthat whole ***- ... almost said her name.must be that whole sociophobic agorophobic... thing
The real problem may really be that I'm not testing icecream right now though.
I'm at that weird corporate blur again where I'm so glad to be paying my bills that I'm not taking any steps forward, and taking steps forward would in fact be premature seeing as how...
I've only been here three months.
That's time enough to know that I'm not making enough money, and that I'm still not happy in this town, this lifestyle, or this
singularity.
But I'm not listening to my favorite music, just the kind I can get away withand having been a kid that gets ear infec

Welcome To The Psyco Circus...Hello all!
I would like to welcome you to my page. I'm new here and still learning the ropes so I hope you will hang in there with me while I experiement and get things just the way I like them.
I will be posting stories, poems, etc. I wrote them all. I hope that you will respect that and not copy them. It's the same respect I will have with your things.
I want to hear from you. Your comments, questions, suggestions, etc. Here I will reveal things about me that not many know. My wants, desires, fantasies, etc. If you ask me a question, I will honestly answer here.
So, welcome to the Psyco Circus... I'll be here to be your guide... We'll reveal the secrets that we hide inside... Welcome to the show!

Still The Same As You Fade AwayChange direction one more time. Change your looks and change your mind. I don't believe a single word. You're not a part of what I love. We would be better off if you just leave. Watch them fade like you know it had to be. I'll still be doing the same old shit that I was yesterday. Fade away cause we knew you couldn't stay. We see it all the time so we'll sit back and watch you fade away. I've taken my bumps, I've taken my falls. I've been knocked down and through it all this one thing always stayed the same. I've seen them come, I've watched them go so I'm just trying to let you know this is for the ones that still remain. Where are you gonna be tomorrow? Where did you lose yourself today? Watch them fade like you know it had to be. I'll still be doing the same old shit that I was yesterday. Fade away cause we knew you couldn't stay. We see it all the time so we'll sit back and watch you fade away

NowhereWe're going nowhere, nowhere. There's no e scape from the nowhere bullshit world we live in. NOWHERE NOWHERE You try to say you're gonna get away. But it doesn't make a difference. NOWHERE NOWHERE We all wanna get somewhere in this life but we never go. NOWHERE NOWHERE Is it ever gonna change? No beliefs, no control. Now I'm stuck living in this hole. And here I'll be until I die. Lonely, old, and cast aside You're going NOWHERE NOWHERE You never had and you never will cause you're nothing and you come from NOWHERE NOWHERE Yes sir I've been beat down, knocked down, that's the breaks when you're NOWHERE NOWHERE I wanna know how did I get stuck with this fate of NOWHERE NOWHERE And is it ever gonna change? No beliefs, no control. Now I'm stuck living in this hole, And here I'll be until I die, Lonely, old, and cast aside. It's never gonna change, Always scraping the bottom of the barrel just to stay broke. And whenever you feel like you're getting ahead you g

Ftw ..... SeriouslyThis world was built for people like you, but it was built by people like me. You don't want me sharing your piece of the pie and that's fine by me. FUCK THE WORLD! Born rich, your daddy gave you everything. It's not your fault but I don't really care cause I was born into poverty so I don't think you can tell me shit about fair. Where were you when I was living in the streets? There's no place for my kind in your system. We come from nowhere. We owe you nothing. And now I'm done with you. I've dwelled in the hoods and slums. I didn't want you then and I say fuck you now. I've slept on the cold ground homeless. You didn't help me then so what the fuck makes you think I'm gonna lend a hand building this piece of shit world? We're not helping, we're not helping. We don't owe you a goddamn thing so, We're not helping, we're not helping. Build your own lopsided utopia.

Family AccessIf you wish to get family access it will cost u a 12 bling pack if you ask it will be an instant no and you will be blocked and deleted. All of my family photos are of me naked.

Mummers Are Mean!I am SOOOOOOOO going to make a butthurt mumm.
Calling me a snitch HMPH!
I HATE YOU ALL!

Is It Live... Or Memorex?Do you remember... The sweet smell of my perfume? Can you forget... The soft feel of my skin? Do you long for... The taste of my kisses? Do you still tingle from... The heat of my breath? Do I still haunt... Your dreams at night? Am I on your mind... Every waking moment? Can you still see... The passion in my eyes? Do you feel... The pounding of my heart? Am I alive... Or are you still dreaming? Come to me tonight... Don't stop that feeling!
Written by: Sexualsecret_68 (aka Sthrnbelle). ALL rights reserved.

Buy CondomsI'm in my second year at Pierce Community in the valley and will transfer over to CSUN next year. I grew up in Granada Hills my whole life. I'm taking one class at CSUN right now and working with the Health Center to distribute condoms, prescriptions and answer phones. If you're a student stop by because you can buy condoms for 10 cents each. The reason is that they get wholesale condoms from nonprofits and are able to distribute to students at no cost to encourage safe sex on campus. They also have small lubricant packages for safe sex like ID Glide. All in all it's a great job to help people with their prescriptions and people who can't afford it, so I hope to go into it once I graduate.

Such SensationsThe night breeze flows through the window, cooling the room to a comfortable temperature. A lite sheet is all I need as I turn out the light and snuggle into the bed for a good night's sleep.
As I close my eyes, I can hear the rustle of the breeze in the trees. There is a peace that washes over me and I relax. My breathing slows as sleep enters and I drift off into that quiet place.
There is warmth and love as I enter in. A soft glow up ahead. I hear someone calling... "Come here my Dark Temptress. Listen to my voice and follow it."
I listen to him calling out and slowly make my way through the haze into the soft glow. There in the middle of the room is a dark figure...
I see him reach out, drawing me to him. "Come my love. I have great plans for you." I slowly move forward.
As I reach to take his hand, he is still out of focus. As our hands touch, the electricity flowing from him is strong. I can feel my body flush, the heat inside almost too much to bear.
He turns

Interview 10/7Sooooo... today I had my interview for the Quality Manager job that doesn't pay terribly well, but has a relatively decent commute.
I walked into this place and they were kinda joking around. A couple minutes into the interview the general manager mentions he went to the same college as me (I'd had a heads up) and we talked a little bit about what it was like up there, got off track, started making jokes... then got back on track. The whole interview, I just felt so comfortable, and was totally myself, forgetting to try to make a good impression. The people who were interviewing me were the general manager, plant manager, and operations manager (over 5 plants in north america). And the HR lady.
We spend most of the interview joking around and laughing. I thought, as I left, that if nothing else, this was a fun 45 minutes spent, and that at least now I have some recent experience with a live interview. They seemed to like my answers, and really encouraged me. Like when I got t

Mia CoupaEvery one knows what mia coupa is and coup de tar? I will see if Herman T. understood and if my physicians are paying attention. Norio couldn't handle it like he once did. Nothing wrong with it. Tomorrow I will test medicine and see if there is any salt?
Time to completely take over.
wemoveforwardtelemitsuandsashwillhaveherpositionalongwithsheritaallisatthetablebutme
salt

When He Puts On His Mask, Then You Will See HimFrom the gospel according to my daughter Sarah … yesterday she was sitting at our dining room table having breakfast and drinking water from her bottle with a Winnie the Pooh (who is always referred to as “Pooh” or “Pooh Bear” by others, I’ve noticed) topper in his Super Sleuth outfit from Disney Channel’s “My Friends Tigger and Pooh”. Pay close attention, and you’ll notice Pooh sports a domino mask – you know, the kind with eyeholes – on his head, but we’ve never seen him put it over his eyes. It wouldn’t make much sense since there are no other Pooh Bears to distinguish himself from, and if it is a disguise it’s not much of one … anyway, I pointed out Pooh never wears the mask he sports on his forehead, but he’s always got it ready. Thus came Sarah’s response, the title of today’s narrative of my life. It sounds Zen to me, but it makes sense.
What doesn’t mak

Need Photoshop Tutorials?I started a blog a few months back dedicated to helping photoshop users, models, photographers and artists in general with their work. I haven't been able to post daily like some people (work work work), but I have been able to post a handful of tutorials and helpful links to tutorials that you may find useful!
Blog Posts:
Models: You make me sad sometimes.
A few tips and complaints for models working with photographers and photoshop wizards.
Hope is Never Out of Style Tutorial
A quick look in how I created the photo-manipulation "Hope is Never Out of Style". Very simple methods were used if you know your way around photoshop.
17 Photoshop Tutorials: Beginner to Experienced
A collection of fantastic tutorials that I have placed in sections from beginner to advanced. Each image shown is a link to a tutorial written by some great artists.
Whirled Furniture Tutorial
I doubt any of you use Whirled.com, but many people ask me how to create furniture for the site. I posted a rat

Contextual Link BuildingThe purpose of the site is quite simple and it is to offer the most effective ways to follow for link building. Different Contextual Link Building & Natural link building processes are well discussed and scrutinized.

What I Think..:)Life is funny sometimes...online dating we ask?? yes it can work..yes there are some crazy people out there...but then again..not all of us are that crazy..lol :) its also funny how the people you really click with live far away from you..:( doesnt surprise me..but guess what?? nothing should keep you from finding that true love..not even distance..if you really want something..i say go for it..what do you really have to lose?? except when you got kids a good job..things like that..ok i can see why NOT to do it...lol but whatever it is just take a chance and live life..you only live once..:)

Listen UpFor the record, I AM NOT HERE FOR SEX. If you can't respect that then you don't belong on my page. I'm here to meet new people and maybe I'll meet someone I can care for but I will not have cyber,cam,or phone sex,so don't ask.It does nothing for me and I respect myself way too much to go that low. Just because I might find you attractive doesn't mean I want to have sex with you on here,so forget it.If this is harsh,I'm sorry but this is my feelings on the subject. God bless, Princess

I Am Done
>bouncer: i am deleting..i am done gettin punished without any explanation..it is corrupt bulshitbouncer: i'm sorry->bouncer: this is bullshitbouncer: they wont tell me->bouncer: fuck this...someone is fucking with me and i am done...did they say for how long?bouncer: they wont say why...just gonna have to wait it out sweetie->bouncer: this is ridiculous!! havent bashed or broke the tos!! What did they say?->bouncer: why!?? I hae done nothig!!!how long? I havent bashed or anything!! wtf??bouncer: yep, youre on a fu time out->bouncer: TY dollbouncer: lol ok i'm shouting admin to find out if youre on a comment time out->bouncer: TY hun!@!! I have been good!bouncer: i can try->bouncer: can u find out if i lost my privis?? I have don NOTHING and cannot commentbouncer: course! whatcha need?->bouncer: hun can you help me?

I Will Visit YouThere is one really annoying thing that some assholes do, which I HATE HATE HATE
Annoying losers that message me, sayin that they will be in Chicago for _________*insert stupid reason here. And then asking, what places I recommend, and what should they do.
This REEKS of hinting that I should hook up with them/be their guide in Chicago and eventually in my pants.
Fuckin YELLOW PAGES, use them! I"m not a guide book, nor do I know every fuckin location for every stupid skank infested bar. This is happenin so often, its ridiculous.
ANd, ofcourse, another thing is...
Oh, I wish I lived closer to you! Not coming from a friend, but an annoying stranger that believs for some reason living in my zipcode would give him a key to the city. Seriously...and its always some fat old perverted asshole with crusty pants. Ughh.

.....Ok... I haven't been around for a few days because I've had a lot of things going on. Been super busy, and then I dislocated my knee, and my favorite uncle that I was very close to killed himself yesterday. I'm having a hard time dealing with the circumstances of his death. So, if I'm not around much or just seem flaky, well now you know why.
I know that he wasn't the type of person to do something like that. I found out that he'd been put on 4 types of antidepressants in the past few weeks. The last last time I'd spoken with him, he told me he was happy, even though he was having some health issues. He'd had heart problems but told me he was getting better and taking better care of himself. So, all this came as a shock yesterday when suddenly he just took his own life. I know he was strong in his faith and in his church, and that's what makes it so hard for me to believe that he was himself.
From what I have been told, he suddenly didn't even recognize his own sister, and was

Whats For Dinner [sound Familar]Love
A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen. What would you like for dinner Love ? Chicken, beef or lamb ?He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."“Fuck You. You're having soup. I was talking to the cat.”

Omg My "first" Blognot really sure what to say or do. drill won't be my friend or talk to me anymore. something happened and I wanna talk about things. there have been a few friends I've asked help from to make things better and here I type whining about how he's still ignoring me. there's more but I guess I'm done for now

Idkidk
im lost
lost in thoughts
lost in feelings
idk wut u want from me
idk wut i want myself
im so lost
lost in my own world
lost in ur world
idk
i just... idk

The End Is NearA local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'bridge out' instead?"

Your Language !!!!Boys...listen up...!! U half 2 watch your language...your talkin 2 someone here..weather in cyber or in person & once in a while u can get by with something sexy..talk wise..but 2 have a steady diet of I wanna F..K u....don't get it.. I just moved 2 top fans down 2 the bottom of my list....cause they thought I liked that kinna talk.. Sexy is k..NOT VULGAR..treat all women with respect on here..not only me..but all my gf's.. We don't put up with this in real life...let alone here.. This is not the way 2 our hearts..

*77 Important Read For The LadiesThis is good to remember if you ever travel alone. Pass it on.
*77
Some knew about the red light on cars, but not the *77.It was about 1:00p.m. In the afternoon, and Lauren was driving to visit a friend. An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on. Lauren's parents have always told her never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc. Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called *77 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her. The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren't, and he told
- Her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way. Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One pol

Italian & Lovely BbwMiss fine thick round italian & lovely. So many things i imagine doin to you. If i was next to you fine bbw. I'd love to be there & film ya. Be your camera guy & make love to you mami. Sexy fine sweet woman. I only could imagine havin a woman like you in my arms holdin you. & kissin your lips & all over your body. I love to hold your legs & smack your sides. Put my hands all over your ass & just like to be in bed next to you lookin at you in your eyes lovely italian thick mami. I'm glad to have met & talk with you. & that we became friends & got a connection goin & for you tryin to make me happy for that i thank you hun & i hope the future me & you can be & see how things go off. I love an italian bbw like you baby & always glad to be there & give you want mami. I know you can only imagine all of my black thickness inside you & i can imagine to mami. Well i love to continue talkin with ya hun & only hope it gets better mami darlin thick lovin italian beauty i love you & gonna keep doin

A Poem I Likesad for all the time my embrace was empty of yousad for being stubborn to be sadsad for touching objects baring your presencesad for not touching you...sad for re adi ng your name everywhere i turnsad for all the blue jackets other men should not have wornsad for all my weak spots left to be weaksad to open my eyes in the morningsad for a cruel truth not even dreams can survivesad without dreamingsad of nothing to hope forsad for still seing beautiful things worth for you to knowsad...
written by : Cristina Geanta

~!*the Story*!~In the glass I see a reflection,That seems to me unconnected,Past the point of redemption,Thriving off of the friction ,everyday falling in position ,Talking to a wall that won't listen ,Trying to ignore the questions ,hearts that seem to quicken,Like Old school , straight from Brooklyn,with a knife we cut the tension ,Your words they seem so drunk an , I can't read all the lessons,My body begins to loosen ,My mind it seems to sharpen,appalled at your gumption,Such a lack of reconnection,The passion in its absent ,wash it away in the ocean ,I feel my trusts been stolen,my neck it seems to stiffen,as your words begin to lessen,Like a night store door watchman,you got me acting like the warden,my guards always up an.my pride it has shrunken,This weight it weighs a ton,As my shoulders they weaken,All this time I was driven,But this isn't my vision,theres nothing left to give and ,to me my heart feels threatened ,my thoughts they deepen ,running out of reasons,Whats left to believe in ?Not

Death And DeseptionDepth and deseption,No truth in lies,Away from protection,Where your bodies thrive,Losing connection,Past the fears of these eyes,To the point of exemption,You cant hear my crys,Telling me secerets I just cant hear,One stained burried heart,Out in the clear,I lost my comfort,Forgot my shade,Now here we are back to this place,Don't make me wonder,I wont make you feel,Dont ask me Questions,This isnt real.I’m no stranger to the dark, I embrace my vicesI know your name, and all your disgusesI dream of you, but when im awakeLike the sweet juices of the durg,you penetrate.Your needling stings, it's killing me,Theres nothing more, you've gone to deep.You're sucking the life outta my faceI see the dust cloud disappear without a trace,Still building cities, you're tearing downDo you see past your fear of what your living withoutWho you are to me I can not hide,dreams that leave you behind.I am nothing more than your sacrfice,yearning for own device,You look at me like I'm some desiese,Bec

In Another World.
In another world,
I'd be your babygirl,
You're movie star,
You're drama Queen,
Playing the leading rolls,
In all your dreams.
But this isn't fantasy.
Or a book you read,
This isnt make believe,
Or the TV screen.
This is enough to make us feel,
Miles from what we thought was real.
How can we go back,
to the simple life we lead,
Knowing nothing else,
Can ever be you and me.
I took a hand full of pills,
to ease my mind,
And at the bottom of every bottle,
Your what I find,
Your in this bottle of JD,
talking bout the race,
In the taste this coke,
that I thought would chase -(you away)
You're in that ole jukebox,
playing on the wall,
somehow I find you in every song.
I say everything has a reason,
If its not luck its fate,
Theres chapters to be written,
and everything has to change.
Happstance,
a last chance,
a selective glance,
at our circumstance,
this can't be our last page,
its not the end if it's not oh-kay.
But I could be wrong.

AuctionIM IN MY FIRST AUCTION. I AM COUNTING ON MY 3 THOUSAND+ FRIENDS TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE.
I NEED RATES AND BIDS. RATES BECAUSE I WANT TO OWN THE PERSON WHO IS SPONSERING IT AND
BID TO SHOW ME THE LOVE. HOW ABOUT IT LOVES. YOU WANNA OWN MY SWEET ASS FOR A MONTH?
PLEASE GO HERE TO SHOW ME IF YOU WANT TO OWN A TWISTED ANGEL
http://www.fubar.com/photo.php?u=2865581&albumid=1840857&i=1384484682&idx=21
********** BIDDING CLOSED AS OF 10-08-09 *************

Chasing PavementsSo...I'm usually not too serious about these things, but tonight...I just feel like I could go on and on about the shit going on in my life right now. But..I wont bore people to death with that...it's not my style. I've been listening to this song... Chasing Pavements by Adele...Like Non-stop for the past few days. It pretty much explains everything I'm feeling right now. I'm pretty effin' confused, and I don't know what to do. CHASING PAVEMENTS: I've made up my mind, Don't need to think it over, If I'm wrong I am right, Don't need to look no further, This ain't lust, I know this is love But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough, 'Cause it was not said to you, And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you, Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements Even if it leads nowhere? Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place Should I leave it there? Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements Even if it leads nowhere? I build m

Still LookinSittin here wonderin if that fine thick white bbw. Gonna come around. Been lookin for one with fine curves & a nice fhat ass & big boobs. Can't forget lovely fine thighs & legs & a tight a pussy. Face or hair i don't really care. As long as she's bitchy & have a sense of humor & is freaky & kinky & into everything. & doesn't mind to let her boobs hang d, dd, ddd boob size or bigger is what i like. I'm lookin & lookin for that thick freaky white or bbw. Said i'm lookin lookin for miss fine thick white or bbw. All i can say is where are you. Cuz i been lookin for ya & i can't seem to find ya. One day i can only hope in my life that you'll be & then i won't have to look no more. I only imagine havin that fine thick white girl around that's tryin to be down. So if your a fine thick white girl with all the curves & the nice assets that i have said. Then please come & holler at this lovely fine guy. I'll be here waitin anticipatin hopin to see your fhat lovely ass shakin & that your not take

Weekly Update (10/7/2009)Ok soooo... another week down... food is getting much easier to figure out...
Made some YUMMMMY turkey chili :D is super good and the portion size is HUGE...
I weighed into day... lost another 1.4 pounds :D:D:D:D:D
Soo I am now at 269.4 which means.. i hit my first mini goal! go me!!
HAVE LOST 8.4 POUNDS TOTAL!!
today.. I am off of my diet.. going to have alligator poboys and meat loaf! yum yum

Living In 2009Living in 2009
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.13. Even worse, you know exactly to who

Beautiful, Beautiful YouBeautiful, Beautiful You
You are so beautiful,
Like a flower in the sun.
And you are yet blossoming,
Before the day is done.
Your lips are so perfect,
Like the ones I would like to kiss.
And if you give me the chance,
It's the one I wouldn't miss.
Your hair is that of sunshine,
On a warm summer day.
And yet I find you perfect,
In every little way.

Dragonslayer-kathleen DelicatoAstride a white steedI hasten, all speedThe evil dragon to slay.Beside him I'm small,I must not fall,Nor allow my resolve to sway.
My lance held highThe time draws nighWhen I'll face the dread enemy.I cannot turn back-I charge to attack.I must attain this victory.
His mouth breathing flame,I brace myself and aimMy lance deep into his head.With ear-splitting sound,He falls to the ground.The malevolent beast is dead.
We, the human raceMust ultimately faceThe dragons that lurk within.Fear, hate and greedMust be conquered, all speedFor true peace at last to begin.
Each day we must fightLike a brave knight,Never giving in to depravity.We must do our bestTo lay our beasts to rest,For the happiness of humanity
-Kathleen Delicato

Conquering Doubt & Fear-margaret JangAt times, you may just give up and drown out your sorrow,forgetting your goal to build a better tomorrow.What causes you to throw your arms up the air,and fall into misery or feelings of despair?
What can you do to conquer your doubt and fear?Well, first take stock and look right in the mirror.This will show the truth of what you're searching for,a giant step to change your life forever more.
Conquering doubt and fear is not an easy task,there are many, many questions you may want to ask.And positive curiosity is healthy, plus good,it sparks a keen interest, as it really should.
Conquering doubt and fear takes tremendous strength,but it's well worth your effort by any arms length.For courage is not gained in a day or night,it builds very slowly through greater insight.
So often you forget the important part of self,losing your identity is usually what is felt.Becoming so entwined with the opinion of another,and so afraid to speak, you just hide for cover.
To conquer doubt and fear

Creative Endurance-jude ForeseI never look for outrageous things They have a knack for finding me Even in the contours of a sand dune, wakeful In the motion of sunlight Rearranging random clouds, focused on Protecting my skin From the searing conclusions of perspective I agree on nothing Until every impossibility is relinquished And the cool stillness of twilight titivates my flesh Even as tides shift direction Requesting the moon to surrender its influence And I am in the netherworld of taking chances Trying to recognize The moment when galactic waves crest under my surfboard As the world Rams improprieties down my throat And I have no choice but to react To avoid choking on the fallout of drowning I always take the time to gather footprints Spread about the sands Of mystifying shores For they lead me into unknown directions Disappearing into the depths of the sea Or rising into the space of my dreams Exerting perplexities Encircling creative endurance
-Jude Forese

My Brother Wrote For MeI took a walk to the river, and I thought I heard you say, "You can walk on, ok?" When I got to the river I saw rain falling and the river swept it away. I want to be a part of something bigger, just don't change who I am, don't carry away my soul.
I went on past it all, took the trail that's not a trail until I left it. Once I got to where I have never been, and where I was never going, that's when I met a man. He said, "How'd ya find the widerness, ok?" I tried to tell him it was the river, but the river had left. I watched him watch the way I was looking, and he gave a nod to let me know he wasn't going to help me find my way.
I stepped on, kept my head up, up to high I triped on a branch and I fell to the sky. A reflection in a puddle before I splashed my face, I could see the clouds get all misplaced, but the sun it stayed the same. I stayed down, yeah I never got up. I like crawling in the mud oh yeah I love the muck.
I can move as good as any man, and I can get there faster

Fortitude-robert William ServiceTime, the Jester, jeers at you;Your life's a fleeting breath;Your birthday's flimsy I.O.U.To that old devil, Death.And though to glory you attain,Or be to beauty born,Your pomp and vanity are vain:Time ticks you off with scorn.Time, the Cynic, sneers at you,And stays you in your stride;He flouts the daring deeds you do,And pillories your pride.The triumph of your yesterdayHe pages with the Past;He taunts you with the grave's decayAnd calls the score at last.All this I now, yet what care I!Despite his dusty word,I hold my tattered banner high,And swing my broken sword.In blackest night I glimpse a gleam,And nurse a faith sublime,To do, to dare, to hope, to dream,to fight you, Foeman Time;Yea, in the dark, a deathless beamTo smite you, Tyrant Time.
-Robert William Service

The Fighter-s.e. KiserI fight a battle every dayAgainst discouragement and fear;Some foe stands always in my way,The path ahead is never clear!I must forever be on guardAgainst the doubts that skulk along;I get ahead by fighting hard,But fighting keeps my spirit strong.
I hear the croakings of Despair,The dark predictions of the weak;I find myself pursued by Care,No matter what the end I seek;My victories are small and few,It matters not how hard I strive;Each day the fight begins anew,But fighting keeps my hopes alive.
My dreams are spoiled by circumstance,My plans are wrecked by Fate or Luck;Some hour, perhaps, will bring my chance,But that great hour has never struck;My progress has been slow and hard,I've had to climb and crawl and swim,Fighting for every stubborn yard,But I have kept in fighting trim.
I have to fight my doubts away,And be on guard against my fears;The feeble croaking of DismayHas been familiar through the years;My dearest plans keep going wrong,Events combine to thwart my will,But f

Need Help..any Ideas?am facing living on the streets unless i can get some help asap to pay rent if anyone has any ideas or can help please contact me on yahoo either email or instant message secret_loves69@yahoo.com

Im 6 Feet From The EdgePlease come love I think I'm falling Holding on to all I think is safe It seems I've found the road to no where And i'm trying to escape I yelled back when I heard thunder But I'm down to one last breath And with it let me say Let me say... CHORUS Hold me now I'm 6 feet from the edge And I'm thinkin Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down I'm lookin down Now that its over Reflecting on all of my mistakes I thought I found the road to somewhere Somewhere in His grace I cried out Heaven save me But I'm down to one last breath And with it let me say Let me say Let me say.. (CHORUS) Hold me now I'm 6 feet from the edge And I'm thinkin Maybe 6 feet ain't so far down (repeat) I'm so far down Sad eyes follow me Well I still believe there's something there for me So please come stay with me Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me... you an me...you and me Hold me now I'm 6 feet from the edge And I'm thinkin Hold me now I'm 6 feet from the edge And I'm thinkin Maybe 6 fee

Glitterwhen we make love it's hard to tell if you're dreamin' of me or someone else that drunken kiss seems like alie don't say it's forever and then say goodbye glitter, don't ya leave me, please, believe me I only want your love glitter, you're my lover, I'll have noother girl I only need your love when mornin' comes and the sun shines bright you gonna need someone - someone to treat you right so don't walk out when you wake up let's give it a chance girl - let's give it ashot, give it ashot now glitter, don't deceive me, gotta believe me only need your love glitter, there's no other, you're beautiful I only want you this is fine for now, but maybe, let's make a baby inside of you it's just the time, we gotta find, iwant your name on my tattoo you blow my mind, so tell me, I wanna know glitter shines forever, forever an' ever I only need your love glitter, lay your head down here I'll always be so near I only want your love herecomes the hereit comes there goes the there it goes here comes

*joygasm*The doc called!! It is BENIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*joygasm*
so I will have it removed...but that is it....it is a non cancerous growth!!!!!
FUCKIN YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Dancings With The Stars: Design A DanceI'll update this blog every week as they reveal the newest installment of the design a dance part of the show. Week 1 The Dance: Paso Doble Week 2 The Song: Eye Of The Tiger Week 3 The Celebrity: Sabrina Bryan

Reasonsi got kicked out because the roomie and i got into an argument...im in a church program right now for 65 days and they are gonna help me get back on my feet so after today i can only write you because i cant get on a computer....here is the address to write me at. in this program you are not allowed to leave the property, no smoking, no drinking, no wimmins(seeing boobies now would be nice since i wont be able to for 2 months....just sayin) it would be nice to hear from everyone i may not be able to write much because all writing supplies are donated..stamps especially but if you sent me a few stamps when u write i can write more.....i only have a few minutes on the computer here at the library so lets make this quick..lol
andy smith c/o trinity mission
622 west union st.
jacksonville, florida 32220
dont have to write all the time but it would be really good to hear from people and keep me up to date on whats going on....it would be great support for me to keep it up too

Arrrrghhdamn damn damn! My ex gf and i broke up and remained friends. Im kinda unsure of the reason but it was an easy way out causee then i thought that i didn't want a girlfriend anymore. I do recall her saying something about her bestfriend that happens to be a guy. i didn't really pay to much attention cause i was trying to figure out how to get out of it. It's not that i didn't like her alot it's just that i could feel that it wasn't going to workout. Anyways i've been out with other girls and have met a couple new ones but i keep thinking about her and i find myself texting her when im with others which is totally fine cause we did remain friends. Last night she sends me a text telling me about how much it hurts her to tell me that her and her best friends are officially a couple. I was partially floored,i had began to think the reason that i was constantly thinking about her was because it was meant to be. I didn't wanna make things harder for her so i ujust played it cool and was like

Photo Tip Of The DayPhoto tip of the day.Most of the digital cameras flash is only good for about 10 feet away. Get in closer to get a better pic. Use indirect sunlight if possible making sure your background is not brighter than your subject. If your background is brighter than your subject turn on your flash for fill light.

Mean PeopleI am sorry but, I took a break from this site because, I thought that the quality of the ppl joining were questionable.
They spread rumors, they hurt folks by putting nasty comments, they played with each others hearts?
I left but, I came back thinking maybe this time would be better..
I was wrong.
I spoke to a couple really sweet ppl.. Trainable, Keith and Mike.. and Steve.. but, after this.. no one.. ppl have been mean and nasty, and I have ignored it.. but, today, one of my photos of MY FACE, was marked, NSFW..
(also a few other pp are excluded from this.. but, read on.)
MY SALUTE!
How horrible can you ppl be?
I do not like my pics,a nd I am the first to say I am not friggin cinderfuckingrella.. but, do you ppl have to be so mean, to say that about me? and then to have me warned that if I do it again, I will be deleted?
Do you have any idea what you idiots do to ppl when you say and do hurtful things?
I dislike every last one of those kinds of ppl.
Yo

~people Will See Us..100 Words Or Less~Back to my game of putting things, thoughts, dreams, desires, fantasies down in 100 words or less....first came 'Black Netting', then 'Captured by the Moment' and now this offering......here we go....
There's a Wildness in Her Eyes Tonight....Animalistic, Carnal, Furious....I'd guessed just how little she was wearing under her trench coat, But it's still a suprise when she opens it wide in the Moonlit Street, lampost buzzing in the background.
My Heart races as I take in her lingerie clad body...
'Kiss Me'....she sighs...
I approach her tenatively...aware of the heat coming off in waves...
Her mouth is Soft and Warm and Sweet....She tastes of Lust and Desire...
'Fuck Me' she asks, begs, demands...wantonly gripping the Hardness in my trousers....
'People will see us'.....
'I Know' she smiles slyly...'I Want Them Too'.......
Peace.....

Emotional Distressi can't seem to let yesterday goit was a bad day that ended with me finally geting homethose that can't understand why things are donesometimes you just can't let someone go until you truely find out wha their really aboutif you have not been in that situationwhy make a judgementmy yesterday spilled into todayand my distress has gotten worsefeeling the need to be heldcalled someone thats off limits to meall i want to do is sleep for a weekbut i need to be heldno one else to fill that void for meno true friend that i can talk to that will undertand what i am going throughbeides GOD i am alone with these feelingscrying on and off all daynot wanting to be bothered but need to bethe devil is on me to do my bitch thing to whom has hurt mebut the GOD in me tells me to leave it alonei want so much to hurt this personphysically and mentallyi don't know what to do with myselfdesperatey needing to destroydesperately needing to hurtdesperately needing to be held~**Black Kat**~

Your Egodo you really think you got it going on?...think againsomeone else has it going on better than youthat you can really put it down?...think againsomeone else is putting it down better than youevery man thinks "he" is the best lover...think againsomeone is better than youmost men think "their" swagga is on point...think againsomeone else's swagga is way better than yourswhat you think you know...soneone else knows other wisesome woman told you something in the heat of themoment that swoll your headall women don't think that waywhat you did to hermight not work for the nextwhat do you have to offer other than your tongue?your stamina that weak that you have to use your tongue?who wants your tongue in their mouth and it has been in a place doing GOD knows what to GOD knows who?....(pussy)who wants your tongue and it's been where it's not suppose to go?...(someone's ass)i am not the only person that feels this way....that's bankableyou judge on the physical and "your" physical can use some

Judgementwhy is it that you must judge me??that perfect woman you are looking for....dose not existcute in the face?thin in the waist?apple bottom?extenions down her back?laid back, drama free?she dose not exist!!!!what will happen once her looks fade?what will happen once her waist expands?what will happen once her apple starts to sag?what will happen once she start to loose her hair?what will happen once her breasts loose their firmness?start all over again?will the next see "your" true beauty?"you" think "you" got it going on....will she?"you" think "you" are the man...will she"you" think "you" can put it down...will shewill you be able to satisfy her?you'er older than she is....I THINK NOT!!!!!I don't feel it necessary to show my goodiesi shouldn't have too for you to like mealthough i may not be pretty in the facemy heart is beautifulalthough my apple might not be roundmy soul is deepwhile you are judging me...someone is judging youseeing "your" flawsyour imperfectionsso....fucc that bulls

RememberingREAD THIS!!!! and then reread it. Especially the last part... I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn't hungry.. The pain of losing my husband of 57 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories.. He often came with me and almost every time he'd pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. I'd always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands. He knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since he had passed on. Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two. Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how he had loved his steak. Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blond, slim and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large package of T-bones, dropped them in her bask

My ProfileHi, My name is deboh, im from westernafrica. Im single and about 5fit 2 inches tall, loyal, humble, gentle , welcoming and responsible. i love to share meet positve minded people and focused too. IM hardworking and i believe in hardwork. I glanced through your profile on net and i admire everything about you. i will like to meet you definately love to share pleasantries together even get more closer and probably stay for a life time permitted you welcome. I love listenig to good music and mostly commited to my work. I hope and believe distance between us will never be a barrier to our friendship. You could reach me at my mail id mayos4love@yahoo.com. hopeful to hear from you.

To All My Friends Plz Plz Help,Ok here it is, He is over in Iraq. He would love to level before he comes home. He has alittle over 7 mil to Oracle.. Plz lets show this man how much we appreciate all he is doing to keep us safe!!! HE comes home in 2 weeks, We can do it!!!
http://www.fubar.com/user/2676889

Clouded AngerMy judgement was clouded, however, it was the anger that kept me fighting. I see the need for this surgery and tomorrow is my appointment with my Cardiologist where I'll explain to him the need and my willingness, also to do this quickly. Quick before I change my mind? No, although my Heart is doing better, I truly see where it is not because it is my Heart. I have not only tempted fate but unltimately God. I can no longer place God in a position of any harm by me. As I stated there is God but not according to what I perceive but God. God cannot be defined or confined to be what ever we wish because then God just becomes a perception of our own thinking.
Norio

Ravens Of The PastAn arid wilderness of lonliness.to push upright,Strength is pain and pain is movement.Your radius is a wall.Don't admit there's cracks.Dress up words,Polish phrases,to describe your shadow under the rock.
Fancy doesn't detract the truthComplicated doesn't obsecurethe colors of your soulshining thru the cracks. Words fight youBoxes etch you in.You say you walk away to be alonebut we both knowyou walk to discoverthe way out of that tomb.
There's no gentle way to bring you down,to change.tragedy hides it's head in saftey.The roar of the oceanswallows all sounds.The way up maytake you down first.The rain of lovewill fall upon all who let it.The ravens of your past,will take flight uponthe dawn of that day.
Poem By Tammy C.

Email To The Kind Folks At NikeDear Nike,
I understand that this email address relates to queries regarding purchases from nikestore, but your website is confusing, and I spent literally some minutes looking for the right address and couldn't find it, so I'm wondering if you would help me by forwarding this to the appropriate department.
My name is kins, and I am an active and semi-popular member of a social networking website called Fubar.com I have over 300 friends! lol
Anyway, as literally tens of people probably see my default picture every day, I am wondering if Nike would like to take advantage of a unique proposition, ie paying me a fee (we can negogiate over this bit) to have the Nike 'Swoosh' as my default picture for an agreed amount of time. This would increase brand awareness for your brand amongst the users of this site, and you would be able to cash in on the kudos of having me say your things are good.
Let me know what you think, guys!
kins
www.fubar.com/inskay

Are The Smurfs Closet Communists?Are the Smurfs Closet Communists? By Kristen M. Sonntag, Esq.
It seems that these days Saturday morning cartoonists are taking too many artistic liberties by creating odd "realities" for children to watch. Children see what happens in cartoons and then model the carefree, imaginative games they play at recess on the behavior of cartoon characters. Early morning children's television serves up such visual delights as the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And who could forget the always irreverent Biker Mice From Mars? Do we actually expect children to digest such desensitizing folly? What happened to the days of yore, when the Brothers Warner informed the country that "hunting wabbits" was the chief concern of the day? And what about the Hal Roach Studio's presentation of a lovable loose woman (the one and only Betty Boop of course,) who sought only

Smurf's Communist LeaningsThe Smurfs Were Communists! By Dave Morgan
Okay, I know it sounds crazy. I didn't believe it myself at first. Then I started thinking about it, and it starts getting scary. First of all, you must put aside all the media-programmed, propaganda-driven thoughts or irrational fears you might already have about communists. Forget all that big bad Russian stuff that the 80's taught us, that doesn't exist anymore. Think of communism as just a way of life, a social order, an economic standpoint, a lifestyle choice. Take all the visions of sickles and hammers and tanks out of your head for awhile, and then you will be able to see it clearly. First of all, the Smurfs shared everything. The food in the Smurf village was stored away in those mushrooms the minute it was harvested and then equally distributed to all the Smurfs throughout the year. No one "farmer Smurf" sold h

Friends....Why is it that they seem to disappear..ż What happens that makes them just suddenly hate you after being like family for so long and going through so much together..? Why does it seem like when you need them the most they don't want to "deal" with you..ż Why is it that if they can't use and abuse you they don't want you..? If anyone has any thoughts please feel free to leave a comment or a message..

ColorNot everything interesting is full of colorI find myself residingso often in the palenessof the sky at duskfading from bluesand beginning theslow sinking in to graysbefore itgives wayto nightI will study the stillness andthe calming quietwhich makes room for thoughtsthat would otherwise be trampled by the day.
Poem By Tammy C.

RudenessI hate it when I come on here and I've messaged someone and I get no reply. That's rude if someone takes the time to write to you you should reply to them. I also hate people asking me to shoutbox them when they are on and when I do I don't get a reply.Another thing that's pissing me off is when people ask for help to level up and I help them out but never get it back in return.I'm on fubar to make friends and have people to talk to. I'm not here for leveling up I only do that to add pics. I'm not here to play games or to deal with drama queens and players and liars. I'm am down right honest person and very blunt and as nice as I can be and I will tell you how it is and I'm telling you now I'm not playing with no one you wanna start you'll see how much of a b*tch I can be.

Make A Little RoomGo dance about under the dark, midnight moon,Stand at the lakeside and listen to the cry of the blue loon.Walk the golden hills where the antelope run,and bask in the light of the mid-day sun.Explore the great caves beneath the rocky ground,Run through the forests without making a sound.Climb a mountain and touch the never ending sky,Sit on a rock and watch the eagles fly.Surf the high waves of the endless blue sea,Swing on the branches of a giant oak tree.Listen to the wolves howl their ancient song,Play in a flower-scented meadow all day long.Fish for trout from a sparkling stream,Cup your hands and catch moonbeams.Ride swift horses over the wide, open plain,Splash in the puddles of freshly-fallen rain.Watch a butterfly land on a pretty, pink flower,Believe all this is the work of a great Godly power.Marvel at the stars and planets in the eternal expanse ofnever-ending space,Know that each and every thing has its own place.Hunt the nimble deer in the woodlands so vast,Share your memo

Contemplate The NightAs the crickets make their music,the fog pirouettes across the fields.While moisture fights cohesionand rolls over the edges of the clouds,dewy-eyed and longing for morning light.
Still and melancholy,the lonely ache in silence.Closed off from themselvesand trying to remain hopeful.As time somehow marks time louder once the sun retires.
I sit here, awake,as I am so often in thelatest of hours,Thinking about my lifeand all I have yet to discover,While I quietly contemplate the night.
Poem By Tammy C.

Hopehow I long to hold you feel your arms wrapped around me once again in a strong and loving embrace to feel ur love envelop me smell the scent of ur skin all around me Dreams of you fill my head every nite transporting me back to another place and time where you looked at me with love in ur eyes and where you wanted to be by my side always but alas that is not so i sit here quietly waiting for the chance to prove my sincerlty and love until the day that the love i feel is returned hoping, dreaming of the day our love will once again be of the day you come back to me

Me The Unedited Versionok let me tell u who i am, its not all good but i still think im a good person some may disagree and thats there choice. i love and love deeply if i care for u, u know it. sometime i love to much. Im not good at housework or bill paying. i am a bit on lazy side dont see much point in working too hard it all gets messed up anyway basics is good enough for me. I cook alright but out of boxes. Im forgetful. i love my daugther with all my heart and she turned out good in spite of my downfalls as mother. oh yeah, i have very little self esteem. even though deep down i know im good person, i think bad about me overall. im not religious, never will be. i beleive in more because of the miricles around us. but i dont beleive in religion. i do have days i dont want anyone around me and i have days i want to be held all the time. i never got the drug scene even though im type of person u got to try it to knock it and i tried it didnt like how they made me feel. not much of drinker, dont see

Not Always Right | Life's A Beach(Note: I work as a lifeguard at a beach.)
Beachgoer: “Excuse me!”
Me: “Hello, ma’am. How can I help you?”
Beachgoer: “I just got cut by a rock in the beach.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like to make a trip to first aid?”
Beachgoer: “No, I would like to complain.”
Me: “About what?”
Beachgoer: “You work at the beach, right? You should make sure the sea is safe enough to swim in!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t actually–”
Beachgoer: “Nonsense! You should make sure there are no rocks! I want to talk to your manager!”
(I call up my supervisor.)
Supervisor: “Yes, what seems to be the problem?”
Beachgoer: “I want to complain about your staff.”
Supervisor: “Yes, what did they do?”
Beachgoer: “She told me she can’t clean the sea of rocks. What if I get another injury?”
Superviso

Just Mewell where to start never bloged before lol. ok ill start by the truth. some is on my page. i have extreme insecuties. tonite i got on cam for someone the first time he lost net. right after, no problem right. wrong, i look at everything as someone not liking me. ok he lost net i give him that but he didnt get back on yim where we were talking. he was quiet in sbs with me. ok he could have been busy but wasnt to busy to flirt in lounge with everyone else. so in my mind, he didnt like what he saw. i left cute sb saying bye to a really nice guy that i enjoy spending time with and probably just because of my own insecurties. and not just him but a whole lounge of ppl that i enjoy spending time with. y because im messed up. i never felt good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. been thru two marraiges that pretty much messed me up even more. i been working on this issue for a year now but its like i take a step forward then two back. i spend most of my time when im tal

Wanna Own Me For A Month (my 1st Auction)WooHoo...My 1st Auction! Help Me Make It A Good One Plz! Who Wants To Own Sum Ch3rrY Pie? Pls Make A Bid For Me...I Promise It Will Be Worth It! ;)
PS. Sorry its not lettin me add the direct link here to the auction but the link is on my status!
Thanx, Ch3rrY
~XOXOX~

Not Always Right | The Abundance Of NuttinessMe: “Thank you for calling [grocery store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I bought peanut butter! Now I don’t know what to do with it.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “You had peanut butter on sale–buy two, get one free. I bought the two and got one free, and now I have nothing to do with it!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not the fault of the store.
Customer: “What do I do with it?!”
Me: “Put it on a sandwich?”
Customer: “Do you know how many calories are in two tablespoons of peanut butter? 200! 200 calories!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I don’t really know what to do with your peanut butter.”
Customer: “I don’t care! If you don’t tell me what to do with it right now, I’m going to complain to your manager and have you fired!”
Me: “Ma’am–”
Customer: “What do I do wit

Not Always Right | One Should Learn From Mistakes So They Are Not Receipted(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer.)
Customer: “Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.”
Me: “Alright, here you go. Have a nice day!”
(About 20 minutes later, the customer comes back.)
Customer: “I bought the wrong figure! I need to make an exchange!”
Me: “All refunds and exchanges are done at Customer Service. Good thing I held on to your receipt!”
(I hand him his receipt and he went to Customer Service. He gets his refund, then comes back to my register with a different toy.)
Customer: “Alright, this was what I wanted to buy! Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.”
(This time, I put his receipt in the bag without saying a word.)

Not Always Right | We Want Your Braaiiiiiiiins(A subject is speaking with me about a sleep-study we were doing.)
Subject: “So I’ll just have to go to sleep for the study, right?”
Me:: “That’s correct. We’re just using those scanning machines to test brain function during REM sleep.”
Subject: *suddenly fearful* “You expect me to sleep with those machines cutting into my brain?!”

Not Always Right | Can't See The Forest For The Los ArbolesMe: “Gracias por llamar a [company name], en que le puedo asistir hoy?”
Caller: “Excuse me?”
Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, your call came in through the Spanish line. How may I help you today?”
Caller: “I want to talk to somebody in English.”
Me: “I speak English ma’am, You must have pressed the Spanish option through the automated system, but I will be more than happy to help you.”
Caller: “What was that you were speaking before?”
Me: “Spanish.”
Caller: “I want to talk to somebody in English.”
Me: “Ma’am, I speak English as well. How may I help you today?”
Caller: *slowly* “I want to talk to somebody in the United States who speaks English!”
Me: “Thank you for calling [company name], how may I help you today?”
Caller: *hangs up*

Not Always Right | An Open(ed) & Shut CaseCustomer: “I need to return this DVD player.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We actually can’t do a return on opened merchandise.”
Customer: “This isn’t open.”
Me: “It’s been opened and re-taped.”
Customer: “Why would you think that?”
Me: “Because no manufacturers use duct tape to seal boxes.”
Customer: “So you’re calling me a liar?”
Me: “I’m not trying to, but this has obviously been opened and re-taped and therefore can’t be returned.”
Customer: “What do you know? Where’s your manager?”
(I call my manager and he tells the customer the same things I told her and points out the duct tape. She starts cursing and pounding her fist the counter. My manager finally gives in just to get the customer out of the store. 20 minutes pass and the phone rings.)
Me: “Thank you calling ****. How may I help you?”
Customer: &ldq

First Entryjust joined. any tips, let me know or any advice will be much appreciated thanks fubar'ers. lol (not sure what the term is)
haha
thanks!
xoJustine

For An Angel (written By B.b.wolf) This Is A Song A Wrote A Long Time Ago I Still Like.There was a time so long ago when heaven seeemed so far away.All I could do was watch from afar shedding crimson tears.Heaven is where my angel was, so close yet so far.In her pressence I couldnt speak my name, yet she loved me all the same.One touch of her finger tips brought fire to my lips.
*Chours*
Heaven's just a stones throw away, you can use a coin toss to pay.Heads or tails, right or wrong, my own personal angel inspired this song.She told me "lay your heavy heart to rest on my silken soft lips, and wait for Heaven like the rest."
I was trapt in a land of rising suns, each day feeling more undone.This place is always strife, and seemingly darker everystep I take.Dim street lights lighting a sad path further into life.Light comes in and fades out, im was giving into my pain and plight.Im silently slipping into "That good night."
*Chours*
Love is anything but forgiving, even when it causes my singing.Old wounds still stinging, her voice in my ears still ringing.For blades

The Torn Prince (written By B.b. Wolf)Walk along the path you know, not to stray lead by the things we do.
Wonder not of the worlds of pain and sadness you know not.
Stay in the light, dance with the fireflys and bask in the happiness you do know.
My sweet torn prince, fall not on your sword and drift to far.
Once you played in the feilds with angels and faries.
Now your path is littered with the bones of the dead, of the past.
Remember the warmth on your face, the light guiding your darkness.
My sweet torn prince, kiss not the tainted lips of the things you remember so foldly.
Walk the wicked path and find yourself again, Become whole again.

A Lost Child (written By B.b. Wolf)My sweet mother so high in the darkness. Shine your pale love light down on your lost son. Everyday I feel closer to death, preying for it.
Ive forgotten what its like to run with the pack and feel the forrest in my veins. The afterlife beckons....
I have nothing left to keep me here, so I walked on padded feet slowly to my own death. She is beautiful in her black garbs as she opens her embrace to me.
I meet her lips for an instant and I am no more. Another lost child of of the past finding my home where all things long since lost have found thier rest.

Naughty ApplicationNAUGHTY APPLICATIONYour Name:Your age:Favorite position:1. Do you think I'm cute?.2. Would you have sex with me?3. Lights on or off?4. Would you have to be drunk?5. Would you take a shower with me?6. Have you ever thought about having sex with me?7. Would you leave after or stay the night?8. Do you like cuddling afterwards?9. Condom or skin?10. Have sex on the first date?11. Would you kiss me during sex?12. Do you think I would be good in bed?13. Would you use me as a booty call?14. Can I use you as a booty call?15. Can we take pictures of the act?16. How long would we have sex?17. Would you tell your friends about me?18.Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Shattered-bsbSo empty, can't feel no more, As I'm left with my tears on the floor I wait for my heart to mend, But you keep tearing a hole Inside, I'm so lost, In the middle of my heart It's a battlefield of love, I've been fighting for too long And now I'm shattered, (From the chip in my heart, kept taking it till it broke) Oh how it hurts (Felt) it slip from your hands, hit the ground and now it's shattered) I'm so shattered (Can't believe it was me, I'm so shattered) So shattered (Can't believe, you and me, ahh) So shattered (Can't believe, you left me, I'm so shattered) I'm shattered, cut from with-inside, oh What am I still here for, Could it be that I'm just waiting Hoping you'd rescue me, And put the pieces together again Inside, I'm so lost, In the middle of my heart It's a battlefield of love, I've been fighting for too long And now I'm shattered (From the chip in my heart, kept taking it till it broke) Oh how it hurts (Felt it slip from your hands, hit the ground and now it's shattered)

Want My Points For 12 Hours?I have an offer if anyone is interested.I am a level 31 so I can give away my points for 12 hours to someone.I have alreadly done this for 2 people and I'm making them quite a few points.If you are interested I'm only charging a 65 credit blingpack.Most people here are asking for 135 cred blingpack plus blasts.I think I'm giving a good deal.No one has been disappointed yet.Out of the 65 credit blingpack I will buy a 35 credit auto 11 and use 12 hours of my auto during the time I give you my points.If you are interested please shoutbox me or message me.I am also willing to listen to bids if you can't afford the 65 credit blingpack.I'll consider other offers.I'm easy to work with.It's worth a try right?=)

Who's The Wiseguy?So which one of you is fuckin with me now?
Three different accounts -yet obviously the same person- want to add me,
and then I notice I'm the one who supposedly referred em...
I'm still deciding whether I'm amused or not. Hmm...

Spotlight Fake Has Returned...Check the blog below and to the left with a similar title...don't forget to rate , tell your friends and post your comments as always and please don't forget to rate it a 1, 3, 6, 10 or 11..:D

That Kari Fake We Busted Has The Audacity To Return..with A New Page... Same Tricks.Yes I am taking a break and I will post a blog why by the weekend, however this just goes to show that some things never change. That fake we blew up in the last post, came back on a green profile, same tricks, even used the same girl. Really. That stupid.
♥KaRi♥@ fubar
On a more personal note, things just aren't right here. Don't believe what people may say because no one has any idea. Really. Later kids.

Not Always Right | Not Thinking Outside The BoxCaller: “I have a wireless printer, and it won’t install. It says print out of the box. What do I need to do?”
Me: “Have you installed the printer onto you network?”
Caller: “Well, it says print right out of the box so I thought that meant leave it in the box.”

Not Always Right | Appointment With StupidityMe: “Service Center, how may I help you?”
Customer: “I need to make an appointment to get my oil changed.”
Me: “Oh alright. Well, just so you know, you can come in whenever you are available during the week.”
Customer: “So, Monday through Friday?”
Me: “Yep!”
Customer: “So, wait…we don’t need an appointment?”
Me: “Nope, just come right in!”
Customer: “So, what your saying is we don’t need an appointment?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
Customer: “I dunno about that.”
Me: “About what?”
Customer: “Not having an appointment.”
Me: “Well, do you want me to put you down for an appointment?”
Customer: “You just said I didn’t need one!”
Me: “Well, so you’re not so confused, I can put you in whatever slot you want.”
Customer: “No, I’ll just go somewhere else!”

Not Always Right | Microsoft Works Part 2Customer: “My computer keeps stopping.”
Me: “Stopping?”
Customer: “Well, yeah. I click on things and nothing happens.”
Me: “Have you rebooted the machine?”
Customer: “No. Actually, I’ve got a lot of websites open. Do you think I’ve run out of Windows?”

LmaoA man escapes from prison where he has been for 25 years. He breaks into a house looking for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. while tieing the woman to the bed, he kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While hes in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably hasnt seen a woman in years, and i saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex dont resist,, dont complain, do what ever he tells you to cuz if he gets angry, hell probably kill us both! Be strong honey, I love you and always will!"
the wife says to her husband "He wasnt kissing my neck, he said he was gay and thought you were cute. He asked if we had any vaseline and i told him it was in the bathroom! Be strong honey and I LOVE YOU TOO!"

Not Always Right | The Lesser Of Two ButtocksCaller: “I’m finding out that hamsters like to move around a lot. Do you have a pet that doesn’t move as much?”
Me: “What seems to be the problem with the hamsters?”
Caller: “Well, I don’t like it when they move suddenly. It scares me. And I don’t like their rears.”
Me: “Their…rears?”
Customer: “Yes, their rears! I don’t like it when they don’t face me. Do you have a pet that doesn’t move as much?”
Me: “Well, we have tarantulas… they mostly just sit there and move slowly and rarely.”
Caller: “What’s a tarantula?”
Me: “It’s kind of a big hairy spider.”
(Suddenly, it sounds as if the phone has hit the ground. A few moments later…)
Customer: “I think I’ll stick with hamsters.”

Not Always Right | Talk About A Long WeekendMe: “Good afternoon, [theme park]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Hello. Can I just ask when are your firework nights this year?”
Me: “They are on the 27th, 28th and 29th October.”
Caller: “Okay…are they all Saturdays?”

Not Always Right | The Cds Are Full But The Mind Is BlankMe: “Alright sir, I looked at your computer and it looks like you need to reinstall your office software before we can proceed.”
Customer: “Oh, okay.”
Me: “Can you show me where your software installation CDs are?”
Customer: “My what?”
Me: “The CDs that your office software came on when you first bought them.”
Customer: “Oh, I threw those out.”
Me: “Why? Was there something wrong with them?”
Customer: “No, of course not. I installed the software and then threw out the empty discs.”

Not Always Right | Getting On Your Nerves(I am a dentist about to give a patient a shot of local anesthetic).
Patient: “I hate needles. Will this hurt?”
Me: “Just concentrate on taking nice, deep breaths. It’ll be over before you know it.”
Patient: “Could you please tell me when you’re ready to give the shot? I need to know!”
Me: “Sure. I’ll give it on the count of three. Ready? One, two–”
Patient: *screams* “You’re killing me! It hurts so much!”
Me: “I haven’t actually given you the shot yet.”
Patient: “Oh. Well, um, I was just practicing for when you did.”

Not Always Right | Lost Within A 100 Feet Of ParadiseGuest: “I need you to put [theme park] into my GPS.”
Me: “Sir, it’s right around the corner. We even have a free shuttle that’ll take you over.”
Guest: “No, I want to DRIVE. Just put the coordinates into my GPS.”
Me: “Well, sir, it’s probably already a landmark in your GPS, but as I said, you just have to go out of the parking lot and turn right. The parking structure is just across the way there.”
Guest: “I need exact directions! Put the location into my GPS!”
Me: “Sir, I assure you, it’s already in your GPS. If you’d like, I can also provide you with a map. See?”
(I show him a pre-printed paper map that indicates the parking structure is literally across the street.)
Guest: “I want the park put into my GPS!”
Me: “Sir, I promise you that the park is in your GPS already, unless it’s a very cheap unit.”
Guest: “It came with my BMW rental!&rdq

Not Always Right | Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition Part 1(There is a huge line of customers waiting on their drinks. An impatient customer who just placed his order assumes the next drink is his and takes it, after I call someone else’s name.)
Customer: “This isn’t hot chocolate.”
Me: “That’s because you grabbed someone else’s drink.”
Customer: “But it isn’t hot chocolate!”
Me: “There are nine people in front of you waiting for drinks. You grabbed the wrong drink.”
Customer: “But it isn’t hot chocolate.”
(I look at the order screen for the name on the drink he took.)
Me: “Is your name ***?”
Customer: “No, and this isn’t hot chocolate!”
Me: “That’s because you took ****’s drink!”
Customer: “It’s not hot chocolate!”
Me: “Hand me the drink and I will remake the person who’s drink you took. I’ll make your hot chocolate, but it will take a few minutes!!

Not Always Right | Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition Part 2(A customer comes to the counter to borrow a DVD, I go into the back and get the one he wants, and all seems normal…)
Me: “May I have your card?”
Customer: *presents a bank card*
Me: ”I mean your library card.”
Customer: “You mean I can’t buy it?”
Me: ”No, you can only borrow from a library. You can buy DVDs in the shop around the corner.
Customer: ”Oh…. so I can’t buy it here? I have to borrow it?”
Me: ”Yep.”
Customer: “I wanted to buy it.”
Me: “You can only buy it from shops. Are you a member of the library?
Customer: “No, I wanted to buy this DVD.”
Me: “You can’t buy things here, you can only borrow things when you’re a member.”
(By this point there is quite a long queue behind him, so I ring the bell for assistance.)
Customer: ”What’s that bell for? Is it for getting a copy I can buy?”
Me: ”No

UnitedDressed to fulfill your fantasy Cheerleader, nurse, school girl, and more Whoever you'd like me to be I'll surprise you at the door Eyes that shimmer Smile filled with delight Together we quiver At each other's sight You hold me first Embrace so tight I feel your thirst It's a perfect night Your heart beats with mine Our lips lock The clock stops in time Hard as a rock I'm taken away We dare not part As we move united I feel your dart Piercing through me Depths unknown Together we travel Together we moan All our energy consumed We collapse in each other's arms Sweet contentions Our bodies soar Nestled in your arms Peaceful and sound Dreaming of you Until our next round
Written by Dj Sexy Doc
MSD

Not Always Right | Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition Part 3Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”
Customer: “I want the chocolate ice cream.”
Me: “Okay, sir. What size would you like?”
Customer: “I want the size that fits in the waffle cone.”
Me: “All of our sizes will fit in the waffles.”
Customer: “Oh. Okay.”
Me: “What size would you like?”
Customer: “The one that comes in a waffle cone.”
Me: “We can put any of the sizes in the waffles.”
Customer: (Pause.) “Will the small fit in the waffle cone?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
Customer: “What about the medium?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “And the large?”
Me: “Yup.”
Customer: (Longer pause.) “So, if I get the medium, can you put it in a waffle cone?”

Not Always Right | Equivalence, Meet IgnoranceCustomer: “I’m looking for an outfit for a one year old girl.”
Me: “Sure, all of the twelve month clothing is in this section.”
Customer: “No, she’s one.”
Me: “Right, so that would be over here.”
Customer: “You just said that was twelve months!”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: *slowly* “I’m looking for ONE YEAR.”
Me: “Would you like to go up one size to 18 months?”
Customer: “Is there someone else who can help me?”
(I go and get my manager.)
Manager: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “Your employee doesn’t understand English. I’m looking for clothing for my one year old granddaughter.”
Manager: “The twelve month clothes are over here.”
Customer: “What is WRONG with you people?”

263Confidentiality is a virtue of the loyal, as loyalty is the virtue of faithfulness. - Edwin Louis Cole

Not Always Right | Please Do Not Pet The Employees(I was a volunteer at the zoo, and was walking around an exhibit room with a boa constrictor in my arms so people could pet her.)
Man: “Can we pet it? It’s not slimy, is it?”
Me: “No sir, not at all. She’s very sweet, go ahead.”
Man: *pets snake* “Wow, it’s really soft.” *reaches for my head* “Let’s see if its handler is, too…”
Me: “?!?” *dodges his hand*
(Thankfully, he left quickly!)

When I Think Of You!!When I think of you, I think only of how lucky I am to have you in my life. So many times our paths had come so close, yet never crossed When they finally did, I knew I belonged in your arms. The way you smile when I make you laugh The tender way you hold me near The look in your eyes when you tell me how much you want me All fill me with wonder I thank heaven every day for the gift of you and your love, and I hope and dream of our future together I fell for you more than I thought possible Yet my heart keeps growing as each day passes. I belong with you and you with me and with the love between us we'll be together for eternity.
Written by Dj Sexy Doc
MSD

Not Always Right | Please Do Not Lather Up The EmployeesCustomer: “Excuse me, dear, can you help me?”
Me: “Sure.”
Customer: “I want a body wash that doesn’t have soap in it.”
Me: “Sure. There are a few different types of this brand here, that does not contain soap.”
Customer: “But which one doesn’t contain soap?”
Me: “None of them do, madam. The entire range doesn’t contain any soap in their products.”
Customer: “I want one without soap. What about this one?” *picks up a bottle*
Me: “Yes, that’s one without soap.”
Customer: “Oh. Does it lather up?”
Me: “I haven’t tried this brand, but it’s popular. It’s also about 40% off, so now’s a good time to try it.”
Customer: “Well, you should have tried it so i know whether or not it lathers up! Next time I come in, I want you to have tried it so I know whether or not it lathers up!”

,,,,,,,,Does it ever bother you off when you cant talk about something because it will piss a (or some) friend/s off?
I got a bit of that going on right now...
it sucks

Not Always Right | He Scolds Seashells By The Seashore(A customer walks up to me with a box of popcorn shrimp.)
Customer: “Excuse me, is this okay for someone with a shell fish allergy? My daughter is highly allergic to shell fish.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but shrimp are shell fish. Maybe you should get popcorn chicken instead?”
Customer: “But it says it’s popcorn shrimp! That means that the shell is made of popcorn and not an actual shell. In that case, it would no longer be a shell fish and only seafood, right?
Me: “Sir, shrimp has a shell, so it is a shell fish. The shells are not made out of popcorn.”
Customer: “LIES!” *storms off, but thankfully leaves the box*

Toys For WomenFor Having Orgasms With: Vibrators
If you're female, or have a female partner, a vibrator is the toy most likely to make the biggest difference to your sex life. Many women have their first orgasm with a vibrator, and most women find it easier to reach orgasm with a vibrator then by any other way. Furthermore, most women cannot reach orgasm through intercourse alone (not through any lack of appreciation or love for their partners, and not through any failing at all on their partner's part, rather just through how the female body is constructed), so if you're a male with a female partner and think it would be sexy and hot for her to have an orgasm while you're having intercourse, a vibrator could be the best present you could get.
Note that in this section we're just talking about vibrators that are meant to stimulate the clitoris, i.e. which are used externally, rather than inserted into the vagina. Regardless of what image may pop into your head when you hear the word

Mzbooti Is Looking A New Owner
MZBOOTI2BIG IS UP FOR AUCTION AGAIN..AND EVERYONE KNOWS SHE SPOILS HER OWNERS ROTTEN..SO COME ON BY AND PLACE YOUR BIDS, YOU'LL BE SO HAPPY YOU DID!!WHILE YOUR THERE PLZ SHOW LUV TO THE AUCTION HOST PLZ BE SURE TO A/F/R HIM! YOU CAN BID ON HIM AS WELL..HE IS UP FOR GRABS 2 HEE HEE

Not Always Right | Machines 1, Humanity -16(It’s 15 minutes before our law firm opens, and the phone has been ringing constantly. We normally let it go to the answering machine, but I decide to pick up since this caller obviously wants to talk to someone.)
Me: “[Law firm], how can I help you today?”
Caller: “Your d*** law firm only has machines! I can’t ever talk to a real person! Why is that?!”
Me: “Ma’am, we’re not open until 8:30 am. I just picked up the phone a little early since you kept calling. Also, I’m not a machine.”
Caller: “Well, you tell the real people when they come in that they’re not getting my business!”
Me: “Ma’am, I am a real person. I can help you. Please, just let me have your name and I’ll look you up in our system.”
Caller: “You d*** machines! I’m not giving you s***! When I finally talk to a real person, I’m going to let them have it!” *hangs up*

Not Always Right | Solid Love(Our store phrase is “filled with love” and is printed on all of our products.)
Customer: “So…. if I bite into this… Will love pour out?”
Me: “No, it’s solid love.”

Not Always Right | A Tall StoryMe: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”
Customer: “A pack of cigarettes.”
Me: “Can I see your ID please?”
(He hands over an ID of an obvious relative, but not him. The ID says he’s 6′1” and 238 lbs, but this kid is maybe 5′7” and 180 lbs.)
Me: “This is you?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
(I proceed to quiz him on everything on the ID and he gets it all right, without hesitation.)
Customer: “Um, I’ve been sick.”
Me: “So you lost some height then?”

Fuck It__ Yea Fuck It-- Please Read And Leave Damn Comments!!!!things i have noticed as of lately......
ok not really lately but getting worse i guess....
REAL comments are wanted here from men and women.....
seems to me that smaller younger women seem to get away with alot of shit on here.....
I can have the same pic as a size 4 chic and my shit gets marked.... men seem to be thinking that because im a larger woman that i am easy to take advantage of and screw with.
Just FYI I wont buy anyones friendship or companionship and that includes the men-- NO ONE
If you dont fucking like me for me then you know how to hit delete, block or what the fuck ever else you want to do.
I am NOT easy, to manipluate, or treat like shit
I will NOT be talked down to or made to feel stupid by any female or ,male on this site..
I am NOT a social experiment for you dont play like you like bigger women just to see if it is better for you or to see if i will take care of you-- NOT FUCKING HAPPENING!!!!
I am a human being with feelings not a fucking toy for you

Stupid PeopleSo today I get off work and check the normal things I check includin this account. I see I got a shout from some dumb ass old broad asking me to go vote for her tatoo. I HATE that. So I click on the shout and see her status is telling somebody top get a life. So I politely tell her that being a 40 somethin y/o woman shouting in random peoples boxes to vote in some assinine contest is a great reason to need to get a life herself. I then go make dinner spend time with the kids ect... When I come back I see she left me like 5 more shouts tryin to insult me (one of them even by calling me a fuck head) and talkin all sorts of trash. I then go to reply and of coarse, I'm blocked. Now I used to handle this by creating a new account gettin my friends and their friends to just totally destroy her night. Which is fun. But I neither have the time nor energy to play imature kids games with someone old enough to be my grandma. Point I guess is growin up sucks.

Not Always Right | Pretty In Puke(I’m a customer eating at a restaurant which has a house challenge: if you eat one of their extra large pizzas by yourself, you’ll get it free and get your name and picture on the wall. I’m watching another customer who has eaten half the pizza when this happens:)
Chef: “You having trouble there, buddy?”
Customer: “Nah man, I got this, I got this…”
(The customer takes another bite, chokes it down and throws up on the floor.)
Chef: “Woah, woah! Someone get that cleaned up. Buddy, I think you need to stop.”
Customer: “Nah man, I got this, I can do this!”
(The customer vomits again.)
Chef: “Alright that’s it. You gotta quit, both for your sake and mine.”
Me: “He’s spitting out more than he’s eating.”
Customer: “Man just…gimme like two minutes and I’ll be okay…”
Chef: “Tell you what, you get outta my store and I’ll give you

Boys And Girls Are Born Equal But Not The Same"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same."
Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.
You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen more.
Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.
Most baby girls talk before boys do. Most boys try to avoid speaking.
Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

Spoiled Little Rat-bastardsWhen I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning
Uphill... barefoot... BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to mychildhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today youdon't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library andlook it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!! We had to actually writesomebody a letter, with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way ac

BaitedI lovers V!!! He is teh awesome!! And he should totally keep his clothes on, because I lovers him for his mind and personality and not his naked body!!!!
someone is going to think I want to lick his man lollipop..I just know it.

Not Always Right | Elmer Fudd Calling Line OneMe: “Thank you for calling [cellphone store], what can I do for you today?”
Customer: “I’m having a problem with my phone. Can I bring it to your store?
Me: “If you want to bring it to us, we’ll do our best to troubleshoot the phone. But if it’s physically broken it’s unlikely we’ll be able to fix it. If that’s the case we’ll be happy to look into options to replace the phone.”
Customer: “What would you consider to be physically broken?”
Me: “Just something like a broken screen or cracks in the casing, or any kind of moisture damage.”
Customer: “Moisture damage?”
Me: “Right. We can’t really do much about moisture damage to a phone.”
Customer: “Would that include rabbit blood?”
Me: “… yes.”

Not Always Right | A Smokin DealCustomer: “Excuse me, miss?”
Me: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “Why are these brownies “special”?”
Me: “They’re the bakery’s special of the week. They’re on sale now through Saturday.”
Customer: “So, there’s nothing different about them?”
Me: “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Customer: *winking* “They’re not…’special’ brownies?”
Me: “Oh! No, sorry, they’re just normal brownies.”
Customer: “Never mind, then.” *sets down the container and walks away*

Glowing Golden God Of WarmthGray and dingy, cloudy and murky.Skeletal hands reaching ever upward seeking searching. Blowing winds helping to part the mist. Layer upon layer of gloom obliterates the glowing, glorious ball of happiness.A peak of blue a slice of a ray, here and gone as smoky swirly wreaths of fog blanket the seam of light.Mystical magically a glow from above, parting torturous gloom blackened scarred and ugly skyThere! Shining rays shooting through the cracks and crevices of the concrete looking wall of doom.Slowly, growing shifting brightening blazing shooting soothing warmth and blissful healing rays of liquid gold.

Not Always Right | Extremely Public EducationMe: “Hi, can I take your order?”
Drive-thru customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Me: “Can I take your order?”
Drive-thru customer: “I know, I heard you. But why would you ask that question like that?”
Me: “Um, I need to know what food to have prepared for you.”
Drive-thru customer: “Don’t get smart with me! I heard what you said, and I would prefer it if you’d word your sentence differently.”
Me: “Oh, okay. May I take your order?”
Drive-thru customer: “That’s better! Yes, you may!”
Me: “Okay, what would you like?”
Drive-thru customer: “I’m not sure yet. Give me a minute!”

Not Always Right | I Can See Clearly Now The Brain Is GoneMe: “Hello, may I help you?”
Customer: “I need binoculars.”
(I show him a selection of binoculars.)
Customer: “No, no, no. Not one of these. I want one with a magnification of fifty or so.”
Me: “I’m sorry, there are no binoculars with a magnification of fifty.”
Customer: “Are you saying I’m wrong? I’m an engineer. I have two diplomas. Two! I know how things work, thank you!”
(He grabs one of the binoculars, holds it the wrong way round and looks through it.)
Customer: “This one’s broken!”

Not Always Right | Let The Flamewars CommenceMe: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I want to buy a PS3.”
Me: “That’s great. Which one would you like?”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Well, I have an 80GB and a 160GB available.”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “One has twice the memory of the other.”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “One system can store two times the amount of data as the other.”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “The 160GB system can hold twice the amount of songs, videos and game saves.”
Customer: “Well, what is the difference between the two?”
Me: “One system has twice the memory of the other.”
Customer: “Can they both play PS3 games?”
Me: “Yes, sir…”
Customer: “Then what is the difference between the two?”
(This went on for awhile. He ended up buying an Xbox 360.)

Not Always Right | Tasting Is Believing(The pool I work at is run using a salt water system instead of chlorine. I am in the process of adding salt to the pool when a hotel guest shouts at me from a poolside chair.)
Hotel guest: “Miss! What are you putting in that pool?”
Me: “It’s just salt. It’s not dangerous to you or anyone swimming in it. In fact, it makes the water that much safer.”
Hotel guest: “Salt? That makes no sense! No one puts salt in a pool! They put chlorine! Why are you lying to me?”
Me: “Sir, I assure you that this is nothing more than food grade salt.”
Hotel guest: “I don’t believe you! It has to be chlorine! Get over here!”
(I walk over to the man with my bucket of salt, where he proceeds to stick his entire hand in, pick up salt, and eat it.)
Hotel guest: “Oh…I guess it is salt. Can I have a glass of water?”

Not Always Right | Four Legged Friends With Their Two Legged Twits(A customer comes into our pet store during the winter.)
Customer: “When they salt the streets, it burns my dog’s paws.”
Me: “Well, we have shoes for your dog right over here.”
(I show her the different sets of shoes we have available.)
Customer: “Wait, why are there four shoes?”

Not Always Right | Directionally Impaired(I work at a theme park and the ride I operate requires riders to pull down their own lap bars.)
Me: “When you’re all seated, please pull down on the lap bars in front of you.”
(Everyone is seated, and all but one guest pulls down their lap bar. She’s talking to her friends, so I catch her attention.)
Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, could you please pull down on your lap bar so we can get the ride going?”
Guest: *blank stare*
Me: “The black lap bar right there in front of you. Just go on ahead and pull it down so it’s secure.”
Guest: *blank stare, puts hands on the bar*
Me: “That’s right, just pull it down…”
Guest: *raises hands in the air*
Me: “…”

Not Always Right | With Great Retail Power...Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it seems like your credit card isn’t working. Would you like to pay in cash?”
Customer: “What? That’s not possible. Try it again.”
Me: *after trying a few more times* “Do you have a different card? This one might just be having problems. Or you could just pay in cash?”
Customer: “No! I don’t have cash. Just give me the items.”
Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am.”
Customer: “Why not? I need them to stop the world from ending!”
Me: “Sorry, I still can’t.”
Customer: “What sort of a monster are you? If the world ends, you’re to blame!” *storms out*

Not Always Right | Not Quite A Family Business(The shop work in gives their staff a 15% discount using a discount card. Staff are allowed to lend that card to family members. On this particular day, I had left my name-tag at home.)
Me: “That will be 79.00, sir.”
Customer: “Oh, I get a discount. I just haven’t got the card at the moment.”
Me: “Okay, who do you know that works here?”
Customer: “Miss ***.”
Me: “How do you know her?”
Customer: “She’s my daughter!”
Me: “Dad, last time I saw you, you had a beard and glasses!”
Customer: “Excuse me?”
Me: “Sir, I’m Miss ***.”
Customer: “Oh, haha, very funny. You’ve had your fun. Now give me my discount.”
Me: “I’m afraid I can’t.”
Customer: “You lying b***! You’re not Miss ***! I can’t believe my own daughter won’t give me a discount!”
(The customer leaves in a huff. The next custome

Sex Sells............I have read 7 out of 11 (skipped 8 because it was OUT and read 9)
The Sword of Truth by............Terry Goodkind
so I don't have the 10th one and have no desire to read the 8th (the one I skipped)
I am now reading TERROR by Dan Simmonds............so far it is fukked up but if you know me.........you KNOW I like Fukked up........
Anyhow.............have a suggestion on any good books?
p.s.
I was a library nerd back in the day (83-85 etc etc)................one book that sticks in my mind was titled "HER"
It was about a man and a woman having an affair and the SEX was graphic and stimulating tew say the least...............odd how such a book would stick in my mind ..........
*touch me I am a freak*
dig it

Not Always Right | Mind Over Biodegradable Matter(I work in a very environmentally conscious salon. We provide mugs for people to use for their coffee so that no garbage is created.)
Me: “Hi! My name is ***. I’m going to be cutting your hair today. Tell me what you would like to–”
Customer: “Do you have a styrofoam cup?”
Me: “We have mugs right here. would you like some coffee?”
Customer: “Are you crazy? I can’t use a public mug, I’m a doctor! Do you even know what kind of germs are on those mugs?!”
Me: “I assure you that the mugs are perfectly clean. Also, we don’t believe in using styrofoam because it is bad for the environment.”
Customer: “Are you for real? You don’t have a styrofoam cup anywhere in this whole place?”
Me: “Yes, I’m sure.”
(I get her away from the coffee discussion and start cutting her hair and making small talk.)
Me: “So, what kind of doctor are you?”
Customer: &ldquo

Not Always Right | A Question With No Good Manswers(I’m handing out fliers outside a women’s clothing store. A man walks up to me.)
Customer: “Hello! How are you today?”
Me: “I’m fine, thanks. Would you like a coupon to get 30 percent off all merchandise in the store?”
Customer: “Do you sell sweaters here?”
Me: “Yes, we do. Are you looking for a gift for someone?”
Customer: “No. I’m done with my Christmas shopping.”
Me: “Well, the coupon’s good until Boxing Day.”
Customer: “What sizes do you have?”
Me: “Extra small to extra large.”
Customer: “What size am I?”
Me: “Umm, I’m not sure sir. I’m not really good at guessing sizes.”
Customer: “Well, if I were to try something on, what size should I try?”
Me: “Well, this is a women’s clothing store. I’m not sure that you would fit the sizes here.”
Customer: “Are you calling me fat

Not Always Right | Time For Allergic ReactionCustomer: “Can I have the breakfast sandwich without tomato, please?”
Me: “Sorry, sir, but the sandwich is pre-made. You can just take the tomato off it, if you want.”
Customer: “No! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes. That could kill me!”
Me: “Well, if you want to wait five minutes or so, I’ll make you one special without tomatoes.”
Customer: “That would be great.”
(I go to the kitchen, wash everything that might have touched a tomato, and make the guy a sandwich. I come back out and hand it to him.)
Customer: “Thanks. You got any ketchup?”

Blow Job!Getting a blow job from an ugly person is like bungie jumping, it's gonna be good, but holy crap don't look down!!!
hehe
this made me giggle/snort

Not Always Right | 18 & Under BlunderMe: “Hello, this ***. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I have your company name on my credit card bill with a charge of $29.99. I’ve never heard of you guys.”
Me: “Okay, sir…there’s a purchase of a monthly subscription to our adult website in here.”
Customer: “Adult website? What, as in porno?”
Me: “That’s correct, sir.”
Customer: “This is nonsense! I’ve never bought any porn!”
Me: “Sir, we do have the order in your info in here. If you are not satisfied with the content, however, we can give you a refund.”
Customer: “I never ordered any porn! This is an outrage! I’m a married man, a father and a family man!”
Me: “You said family man, sir?”
Customer: “Yes!”
Me: “How old is your son, sir?”
Customer: *long pause* “I’ll call you back.” *click*

Not Always Right | Temporal Retentive(I work at a restaurant as a hostess. I see a customer, her young daughter, and her mother on their way out so I bid them farewell.)
Me: “Have a nice night. Thanks for coming!” *smile*
(The customer gives me a long stare and then mimics me.)
Customer: *sarcastically* “Have a nice night…”
Customer’s mother: “Can I have your store’s phone number and your name? I would like to complain about your behavior!”
(I don’t know what this is about, but I still give them the phone number. Two hours later…)
Manager: “Hey, a lady just called and complained about you.”
Me: “Really? What did she say?”
Manager: “You told her to have a nice night.”
Me: “What’s wrong with that?”
Manager: “It was still light outside.”

Not Always Right | Golden Rule, Meet Golden Bulldozer(I work for the city and am repairing potholes in a residential neighborhood. Suddenly, a resident comes running out in his bathrobe.)
Resident: “Hey! What the h*** do you guys think you’re doing?!”
Me: “We’re fixing these potholes, sir.”
Resident: “You guys can’t be here! You did not clear this with the homeowner’s association!”
Me: “Sir, I’m with the city and we don’t have to clear these repairs with any association.”
Resident: “Like h*** you don’t!”
Me: “Please step back sir. I have to continue working and you are too close to the job site.”
(The resident runs back into his house and comes back out with a small bucket of yellow paint. Before we can stop him, he starts painting the dings and scratches on our bulldozer.)
Me: “What are you doing, sir?!”
Resident: “If you don’t have to clear repairs with us, then I guess I don’t have to

BlehJust went through a bunch of boxes in the shed. Emptied 7 boxes, divided stuff into my boxes and his crap...4 bags of trash. Ill try to get the rest of it tomorrow...starting to get dark. I checked the mail today and saw I had another fucking bill...dated 2 years ago. What the hell? Why is it all of a sudden I'm getting all these late bills and I never seen them before. It was a doctors bill...okay..So I called them up asking what it was about. I saw the date on it and figured it was because i got hurt at work...so I asked them didn't my insurance cover some of it? When I had insurnace...... she said it did..okay...so I paid the 163 dollar bill. Grrr...Get that off my chest.
Then I look at my phone bill...and see that Rich had bought games on his phone...I had told him before to ask or TELL me when he does that so I know since I'm paying for that bill.. GRRRR....so instead of talking to him about it...I rented a movie from his comcast bill. I rented My Bloody Valentine. Never seen it

Not Always Right | You Got The Wrong(est) Number(Note: our customer support number is close to a local driving school’s number.)
Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”
Customer: “How much for my daughter?”
Me: “Um…”
Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.”
Me: “Sir, I think you want the driving school.”
Customer: “Oh, what do you guys do?”
Me: “Adult websites.”
Customer: “Oh…OH! Oh my God!”

Not Always Right | Stuck In Reverse(Note: I am a woman that works at a convenience store nearby a motor speedway.)
Me: “Hello, sir, is there anything else I can help you with?”
Male customer: “No, the only thing left I need is someone to tell me who is in which car racing today. You wouldn’t know anything about that.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but why wouldn’t I know anything about the race?”
Male customer: “Well, ’cause you’re a woman!”
Me: “Okay, sir, so what you’re saying is because I’m a woman I can’t possibly know anything about Jeff Gordon in 24, Ryan Newman in 39, or Tony Stewart in 14. Did I miss anyone that you were particularly interested in?”
Male customer: “Umm…no?”
Me: “Okay, then. Thank you and come again!”
(The customer looks down, takes his items, and walks out of the store. The next customer is also male.)
Next Customer: “So, what do you think about Stewart

Not Always Right | Lost In Translation(I’m a host at a restaurant and am talking to a customer after ringing them out.)
Customer: “So, are you in high school?”
Me: “No, I’m in college.”
Customer: “Oh, that’s great! What do you want to do with your degree?”
Me: “Well, I’m majoring in history. I want to get a Ph.D. and be a professor.”
Customer: “Oh, you shouldn’t do that. You should be an air traffic controller!”
Me: “Um…I don’t know if that’s the right job for me. It would be a little too stressful.”
Customer: “But you know what the worst job in the world is?”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “Translator.”
Me: “A translator? Why?”
Customer: “Because the government kills them.”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “It’s true, my husband was in the Navy for 35 years, and after secret meetings the translators knew too much, so they would

Not Always Right | Can't Take A Hint (or Leak)Customer: “Excuse me, the bathroom door is locked and I can’t get it open. Do you have the key?”
Me: “No, ma’am. If the door is locked, that means someone is using it.”
Customer: “Is there a way to make sure?”
Me: “Did you knock?”
Customer: “Yeah, and whoever is in there keeps yelling at me that they’ll be right out!”

Not Always Right | Dripocalypse Now(I work at a commercial property development/management company. I got this call from a new tenant’s office.)
Me: “Good afternoon, [property management company].”
Tenant: “This is going to sound crazy, but I think Armageddon might have just started in the break room.”
Me: “Okay, why do you say that?”
Tenant: “I turned on the tap, and blood came out of the faucet. So, it’s either the end of the world, or turkey blood.”
Me: “Turkey blood?”
Tenant: “We just washed out a turkey in the sink; maybe the blood got sucked back into the pipes. I don’t think we should drink the water.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s pretty alarming. I’ve never heard of that happening, but I will get you a plumber out there ASAP.”
Tenant: “Great, thanks. Everyone thinks I’m crazy, but I swear, blood came out!”
Me: “I will take care of this, don’t worry.”
(I hang up and

Not Always Right | Not How A-dress A CustomerMe: “Hello, [pizza delivery]. Can I help you?”
Customer: “I’d like to order some pizzas, please.”
Me: “No problem.”
(The call proceeds normally; she orders two pizzas and we make a little small talk.)
Customer: “Can you deliver them, please?”
Me: “Sure, address?”
Customer: *long pause* “Pardon?”
Me: “The address?”
Customer: *long pause again* “I’d like to speak to your manager now, please.”
Me: “Is there a problem?”
Customer: “Just put your manager on!”
(I call my manager over.)
Manager: “Hello, what appears to be the issue?”
(The manager talks with the customer for a while. He eventually hangs up, throws the order slip in the trash, and bursts out laughing.)
Me: “What was all that about?”
Manager: “She thought you were asking if she was wearing ‘a dress’ and wanted to complain.”

Not Always Right | Read/write/think ErrorCustomer: “You said you were going to save all my data to the DVD! I can’t get anything!”
Me: “I assure you, I saved it to that DVD.”
Customer:“No, no! It’s still not there! It keeps telling me to insert the disk!”
Me: “Well…did you put the DVD in the drive yet?”
Customer: “No! Does it have to be there?”
Me: “Yes, it does. You can’t view the contents of the DVD unless the drive is able to read the DVD.”
Customer: “Well, that’s just silly!”

Not Always Right | Why Husbands Should Play Boy The RulesMe: “Hello, may I speak to Mr. ***?”
Wife: “He’s in the shower, may I ask what this is about?”
Me: “I’m just calling to find out if he would like to renew a magazine subscription.”
Wife: “What magazine?”
Me: “Playboy, ma’am.”
Wife: “Just a second.”
(I can hear the shower in the background.)
Wife: *sweet voice* “Honey! Someone is calling to see if you want to renew a magazine.”
Husband: “Which one?”
Wife: *slightly homicidal voice* “Playboy…”
Husband: “Uh…no, I don’t think I’ll renew that.”
(The wife picks up phone again; her sweet voice is back.)
Wife: “No, thank you. I don’t think we’ll be needing that one anymore!”

Not Always Right | If The Zits Don't Kill You, The Angst WillMe: Hello this is [doctor’s office], how may I help you?”
Caller: “Help! I’ve sprouted a nipple on my forehead!”
(From the caller’s voice, I could tell that it was a female teenager.)
Me: “Excuse me? If this is a prank, I can report you–”
Caller: “No, this is not a prank! This morning I got up, and there was this huge, red lump on my forehead…and now I’ve poked it and this milk is coming out!”
Me: “Hon, that’s a pimple, not a nipple.”
Caller: “Oh…” *gasps* “Is it deadly?”

Lazy FuckerThis is an actual text conversation between myself and my son tonight:
Him: You never forwarded me Toxicity
Me: You seriously just texted me from your bedroom?
Him: Yeah I'm lazy
Mumm within a blog - should I beat the shit out of him or just take his phone?

Mcdonalds And Vegetarians?So, I don't know if this belongs in a blog..but I felt the need to share with fubar.
Recently, I was at my hometown Mcdonalds and there was this girl sitting kinda on the other side of the room but was talking really loud...like you know loud so everyone can hear.
Now I don't normally listen into others people conversations but this one I couldn't help.
Anyways on with my story...
This girl was sitting at her table ranting and raving about how shes a vegetarian and meat is murder.
Now folks.....I eat meat but don't eat certain kinds of meat and in no way shape or form do i call myself a vegetarian.
Anyways...she's going on this rant and there I am listening and sipping on my soda.....but something compelled me to look over at her and what do I see?
SHE WAS EATING CHICKEN NUGGETS?!?!
wow what a vegetarian right?! How ironic...
But, anyways, I felt the need to share that with you friends.it was a definate LOL moment.

What’s Your Wedding BudgetIf you are a bride creating a budget with no idea how much a wedding dress will really cost, read this passage. It will save a lot of money if you buy yourself a Custom wedding dresses, Custom flower girl dresses, mother of the bride dress and Custom wedding gowns. Magazines are confusing and often don't even list prices for gowns. Here's an easy guide to what you'll get for your money.
For around $500, you can purchase a wedding dress at a larger retailer that is machine made. Generally, these are made largely of synthetic fabrics, and have minimal amounts of hand-detailing. You may be able to purchase a lovely bridesmaid's gown in white from a more well-known designer. Make sure to get the wedding dress altered to help it fit you properly.
For the limit of money, the gown should be very well made, and include some hand detailing. You'll go to a salon where they'll measure you, help you pick your wedding dress, and order it directly from the designer in your size. Once it arrives,

MoveSo we are puttin up our condo for sale, which may result in moving in back with my mom for a lil bit before we leave.
Hubby and I are selling our place, and takin a hike-around the world trip, with a base in Moscow, with my gramps. If everythin goes smooth and we are not devoured by bears, it will be about a year long. Hopefully I get a job at a hotel in Moscow, since I have my Russian passport renewed and I was born in that city.
The plan is to hike from Norway to Russia, then go to Midle East (we are gonna live in Israel for about 5 months), going to the Mediterranean part of Eastern Europe.
When we'll get back, we are moving from this shithole of a city (I REALLY hate Chicago, and IL in general)
I am going to blog my stuffs while I'm gone tho, so...

I Am Politically Incorrect
I was on the tube in Glasgow (yes we have a tube system, its two wee trains that go round in circles, called the clockwork orange, don't ask) anyway I stepped onto the train and there was a young teenage boy with an older woman hugging him. She was running her hands through his sticky up blonde hair and whispering to him, he giggled and pulled up his baggy jeans onto his skinny bony frame. You could see the elasticated band of underpants showing, boys do love showing their big man pants off!
I thought it was nice that a young teen boy would let his mum cuddle him like that in public; Ashley would punch me if I stroked her head in front of people at that age.
Anyway the mum had her arms around him from behind and was rubbing her head into his, then they kissed fully on the mouth and I stopped thinking it was nice. Then I realised it was two lesbian lovers, who were happy as hell and I was a freaky onlooker who mistook the small lesbian for a 13 year old boy. I was annoyed at myself

''good And Evil""Good and evil do not befall men without reason. Heaven sends them happiness or misery according to their conduct.

1st Year In Collegei started colege last october it was on a monday i had three classes mind you they were all night classes im going to get to the point i failed 2of those classes and i had to take one over winter of last year im taking the other one either in winter of 09 or spring 10 anyways no body said college life would be easy im taking my time and takin advice as i shall go we were always told the first year is not easy

Caa #123 UpdateWell, I did not get the position, but life goes on. GOd must have other plans for me. Thank you all who had me in their prayers, and if you ever need prayers, please don't hesitate to P< me.
Love,
Doc

Caa #126A very dear friend of mine, sister and angel needs prayers for her, her mom and her family. Here r/l sister passed away on Sunday and her mother is taking it very hard. Please send angel prayers of love, strength and healing to her, her mother, the family and friend.
Love,
Doc

My MommaMy x momma x always x said,life is like a box of chocolates;You never know what you're gonna get

Bummerthink something inside me chest was wrong when that dude hit me the other day...the pain subsided well after a few hours but last night I started coughing and it hurt like hell. I feel like I cant cough strong enough to expel whatever it is I need to cough out cause something in theres going to fail utterly. whatevers going on its worse than a bruised or cracked rib thats for sure. anyway. hopefully it means Im done cause I didnt get the job i wanted anyway and Im starting to slide back into pessimism. also the painting I was working on last night I botched completely, couldnt get the colors to blend right.
finally, good luck to Paul from melborne australia on getting home and starting the new life that awaits. Im trying to keep a straight face typing that cause really, itll be great just yeah not without hardships I guess is the way to put it. peace dude!

Rambling....Who are all these people? Why do we call each other friends?If I met you on the street would you say hello? Doubtful at best but maybe some would what the hell do I know!
I was reading some blogs recently one was all sex and fantasy stories another rambled on about politics and blah blah blah!My favourite was the people I hate one about how she hates the beautiful people,It's kind of sad that you would hate someone even jokingly because they have perky boobs or a pretty face.I have found some of the ugliest people are the "beautiful" ones.But that's just my opinion and in the big world of Fu bar who really gives a damn about my opinion or yours.
Do you ever wonder what people would think about you if they knew the real you?Not the Fu person but the person who is sitting behind that computer right now! Scary isn't it?
Yes I am bored I have been staring at Dr.Phil and watched the View and Oprah and my mind is numb filled with a bunch of useless info now!I Do have a life out side this