1. "If you would like information about Milton Simmons for President, press 1..."
2. "Hello, Clarice..."
3. "Don't tell me about the Mets game if you've seen it..."
4. "Okay, now if I hold it up to my ear, maybe I can hear what's making that ringin'..."
5. "You've reached 617-867-5309. Jennifer can't come to the phone right now..."

13) "Remember - Tonight it's your turn to supply the goats."
14) "Deranged Caribbean Psychic Hotline - You did not call us when we expected, so we called you. The charges are $4.00 a minute..."
15) "Your next target is Fred Barnabas, and he lives at..."
16) "Quick! Get to the corner of 11th and Pants, and bring a wrench, 3 pounds of tainted shrimp, a metric handsaw, 3cc of mouse blood, a bootstrap, an extra-large Van de Graf generator, a lava lamp, and a fresh baby! QUICKLY! THERE'S NO TIME!"

"I am a machine. I am a weapon of war. I am a destroyer of life in the service of life, the sword and shield of my human creators." Bolo Invincibilus, Mark XXIII, Model B (Experimental) 0075-NKE "Nike".