Sometimes, The Wheel is on Fire

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

This year, Hanukkah starts the night before Thanksgiving.1 Why is it so early? I'm glad you have an inquisitive mind, dear goyim and girlem, since it's time for my 4th annual Jew & A! And you know what that means...

I will answer any question you have about Judaism.

It's that simple. Just post any questions you might have about Jews or Judaism in the comments section before the end of Hanukkah (sundown on 12/5), and I will answer them for you.

Perhaps you've always wondered why so many Jews' names end in "berg" or "stein." Maybe you want to know Moses' thoughts on gay marriage. Or maybe you're simply hoping to find a good local deli. Whatever your query, send it my way. Even if it's been asked before, don't let that stop you — like the Jewish calendar, the answers to such questions are in constant flux.

If you're a writer who is at all rational,
Of course you'll fashion all words and your passion will
Help you to catch and haul phrases, then cash in all
Of them to gain some great fame international.
That is the hope as you live in your hovel
And craft divine sentences while you still grovel
To agents and editors, hoping they'll gobble
Up every last word, since success would be novel.
You're tired of all of this nickel-and-diming;
Your writing's superb, what you need now is timing.
Just one little nibble and then you'll be climbing
Up out of the slush. (Okay, now I'm done rhyming.
No, really. I mean it. I'm finished. I'm dunth.
I know that pretending to be Seuss is funth,
But whether your first try or your trilli-onth,
There is no good word or phrase that rhymes with month.)