The Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior. ~

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a "living war machine". The order came at a time when the Soviet Union was embarked on a crusade to turn the world upside down, with social engineering seen as a partner to industrialisation: new cities, architecture, and a new egalitarian society were being created.

The Soviet authorities were struggling to rebuild the Red Army after bruising wars.

And there was intense pressure to find a new labour force, particularly one that would not complain, with Russia about to embark on its first Five-Year Plan for fast-track industrialisation.

Mr Ivanov was highly regarded. He had established his reputation under the Tsar when in 1901 he established the world's first centre for the artificial insemination of racehorses.

Mr Ivanov's ideas were music to the ears of Soviet planners and in 1926 he was dispatched to West Africa with $200,000 to conduct his first experiment in impregnating chimpanzees.

Meanwhile, a centre for the experiments was set up in Georgia - Stalin's birthplace - for the apes to be raised.

Mr Ivanov's experiments, unsurprisingly from what we now know, were a total failure. He returned to the Soviet Union, only to see experiments in Georgia to use monkey sperm in human volunteers similarly fail.

A final attempt to persuade a Cuban heiress to lend some of her monkeys for further experiments reached American ears, with the New York Times reporting on the story, and she dropped the idea amid the uproar.

Mr Ivanov was now in disgrace. His were not the only experiments going wrong: the plan to collectivise farms ended in the 1932 famine in which at least four million died.

For his expensive failure, he was sentenced to five years' jail, which was later commuted to five years' exile in the Central Asian republic of Kazakhstan in 1931. A year later he died, reportedly after falling sick while standing on a freezing railway platform.

Mr Ivanov's experiments, unsurprisingly from what we now know, were a total failure. He returned to the Soviet Union, only to see experiments in Georgia to use monkey sperm in human volunteers similarly fail.

Human volunteers? Yeah right! I'm sure women were lining up for blocks to be artificially inseminated with simian sperm. More like coerced victims pulled out of the gulag to be used as guinea pigs in pernicious scientific experiments. Add this to the ever-growing list of Stalin's crimes against humanity.

Stephen & Hall

For his expensive failure, he was sentenced to five years' jail, which was later commuted to five years' exile in the Central Asian republic of Kazakhstan in 1931.

Perhaps we could re-establish this glorious program. I have always had secret crush on Koko the Gorilla (Koko is actually more attrative than the many KGB women prison guards that I have dated) and I would gladly donate the necesary biological specimens all in the name of our magnificent revolution.

Idea: New name for this re-invigorated scientific program...(Karl) Marx Bros. Monkey Business!

Talk about intelligent design. Too bad these efforts to create a new breed of New Man failed. That failure doomed the entire Communist experiment. Considering the magnitude of the failure, Stalin treated the scientist very leniently. If he had been more strict and perhaps applied torture, the experiment might have been a success.

The new perfect humans without the need for bourgeois comfort might have looked like Orcks if successful. Instead, Stalin treated the rest of the nation as if they were Orcks, perhaps hoping to breed the New Man by natural selection. He succeeded only partially.

Don't you wish this experiment had resulted in at least one successful specimen? Maybe it had, and the creature actually had a name and was brought up in a secret underground facility underneath the Lubianka (Treblinka) Square, and then released after the fall of the USSR?

If you are out there, friend, please post a message. You will be among like-minded friends here.

Please tell us that all of the bigfoot sightings in the last half a century are based on fact, so that the skeptics can finally eat their words!

Is it possible that Laika the Space Dog did not have the knowledge of his/her existence and did not track his/her movements from space? I don't believe it for one second. If not Laika, then who could have send a special frequency signal releasing the speciment from the facility in 1991? Must be Laika.

Ahhh.....more decadent bourgoisie western lies!

Actually there were many successful experiments, too many to count in fact. Most were secretly released in the USA during each decade of the 20th Century starting in 1931. All were planted in Democratic party. Of notable distinction; James Carville, Janet Reno, Al Gore, Bella Abzug, James Earl Carter, Web Hubbell, and a plurality in the State of Arkansas. They've all been chipped and have tracked nicely. We are though looking for a new frequency modulator since Dan retired. Please send resume to Kommander Kenneth c/o The Peoples Cube.

For his expensive failure, he was sentenced to five years' jail, which was later commuted to five years' exile in the Central Asian republic of Kazakhstan in 1931. A year later he died, reportedly after falling sick while standing on a freezing railway platform.This is just another big lie about Kazakhstan! No one has ever goed exiled to Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan nice country. Only volunteers come to Kazakhstan. And no one has ever died on the railway platform from cold and sickness. He die from other means. Railway platform dangerous place in 1931. Much badness before Stalin cleaned up bad Kazakhstanis.

If only someone could find a way to create a superhuman that could produce livers and kidneys at will. Then all party members could be safely able to enjoy fruits of labor of workers at Vodka plant. Have you seen what is costs to import a Chinese kidney these days?!??! Highway robbery! I think something has happened to the workers ideals in our Chinese brotherland.

this experiment was a total success!!!! all of the members of the CUBE should have figured out by now, remember howard dean and his glorious howl???!!! AAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! that was a call to arms of all of the super monkey people, and their offspring. it was the secret code that fooled us all. damn monkey people. that's what i'm calling 'em from now on.....monkey people. look at the picture on the che t-shirt....monkey people. they have had us fooled for too long. OUT THE MONKEY PEOPLE!!!!!

THAT'S HIM!!!!!!! THAT'S THE GUY!!!!! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT???? man, you really shocked the hell out of me with this one. see, i told you guys. it's a plot.... a plot from the dark side. we all need to be alert and on the watch for these....these...whatever you want to call 'em. oh yeah, the MONKEY PEOPLE!!!! i am not paranoid, but as i write this, i feel that someone is listening to my every key stroke. hmmmmm. kinda weird.

So soon komrades forget glorious KGB mission to re-capture escaped er...... kidnapped super-warrior, Komrades Badenov and Fatale work hard many years for motherland but Capitalists brainwash and change look of super-warrior, call him Moose. Soon superiority of Soviet Socialist state scientist will show sqvuirrel er.... world.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

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