Star Wars Episode 8: Holyhead – Jedi Knight taken down in his own back yard

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The last of the Jedi Masters has finally been slain by the Sith, but it didn’t happen in a galaxy far, far away.

Three days ago, in a back garden in Holyhead, the leader of the first ever British Jedi church, Master Jonba Hehol, was given what can only be described as a good kicking by a man dressed in a Darth Vader mask, wielding a metal crutch.

The Dark Lord of the Sith struck while Master Henhol was being interviewed for a documentary and not even the camera crew was spared with Vader reportedly three sheets to the wind along with his flowing black bin-bag robes.

“This wasn’t a joke. This was serious,” fumed the Jedi Master and full-time hairdresser. The police are investigating his claims for assault with Vader still at large. Keep your eyes open and may the force be with you.