a tiny journal once more in poemish style with an actual poem why do i write these? god knows good night

22 February, 2014 - 6:39am — Perhaps We Shou...

scalp scalp
it's a nice night
the pall over my mind
is almost gone
i feel happy

I am with my love
one more night
and then one sleep
shall be without
his parents are here
he does not like that
he does not like
to have to be someone else
he does not like
to be a gender he is not

i love him
I want him to be happy
nothing feels better
than the warmth of his body
against my back as I write
His warmth feels special
different
unlike the other warmth
of other men
it has a feeling
a smell? maybe that's the word
i don't know
but it is unique
beautiful

a quiet mouth
a mem'ry chained
an honest mind
forever stained
a longing look
a foggy thought
bloody tissues
but mem'ry? naught
unfriendly touch
all too aware
a friendly child's
thousand-yard stare
don't touch me there
out of my view
if i can't see
i might hurt you
save me someone
oh god help me
i can't escape
this vague mem'ry
no faces now
no voices too
how can i know
it wasnt you?
dont look at me
my beauty spoiled
no longer pure
tainted and soilt
broken ever
mind glass and steel
without that time
how can i heal?
SCREAMSCREAMSCREAMSCREAMS
IT NEVER ENDS
CASTING SHADOWS
OVER MY FRIENDS
SCREAMSCREAMSCREAMSCREAMS
I HAVE TO ASK
IS A RESPITE
TOO HARD A TASK?
theyre louder now
i cannot think
they will not stop
until i sink
into the sleep
and into my
twisted homeland
sanity dies