MY NEW ETSY SHOP!

Thursday, July 30, 2015

You may notice this is being written at 3:30 in the fucking AM. Sonofabitch!

So I get to sleep about 1-ish.

Next thing I know I am being woken up by (ok, the first time my own snort woke me up)- but after that it was banging, clunking and dragging sounds. Repeated and un-ignorable.

Wow. It was emanating from behind the wall against my bed.From the newly vacated appt. At 3:30AM. The EMPTY appt.

WTF

So I dress and somewhat de-scarify my hair (only part-way, some crazy helps when you are about to confront a possible drunk/themselves crazy/or high robber or vandal in the act) and listen outside the empty appt's door.

Yup. Inside it sounds like a bear is wiping the floor with an errant (and now very limp) hiker. And banging up against every wall and appliance in there.

I knock.Nothing.I knock again.Nothing. (by nothing I mean the noise continued unabated). Knock.Noise.Knock.Noise.Knock......for about what seemed like ten minutes.

I.Did.Not.Give.Up.

A couple times the bear seemed to stop and walk over as if to peer through the peep hole. Then the noise just continued.

I blocked the peep hole with my finger and knocked.Noise.Knock.Noise........and then..........

I startle the SHIT out of a twenty-something hipster-ish young man called "Micky" who had been unpacking heavy,noisy things in his new appt while blasting tunes in his ears via earphones.

I swear he almost peed his pants.

And that's how I met my new neighbour, Micky.

PS. He seemed sincere and earnest in his inconsiderateness at noisily unpacking at such a STUPID,STUPID time after getting off work. So I was nice as I explained how noise travels through walls. (He was still trying to catch his breath from his fright).

Monday, July 20, 2015

Sunday, July 19, 2015

NO Air Conditioner? NO PROBLEM!

-At least, that is what numerous websites claim. After seeing a news story about this on our local station, I Googled several How-To’s and set about constructing this elegant creature.-So according to numerous sources, you can assemble this with either, 8 British pounds, $20, or $30 (our updated Canadian source).

Real Sandra Cost? $46. No matter, it was worth it just for the fun of cutting styrofoam with a kitchen knife-then chasing those tiny foam particles around with a kleenex, which caused them to become electrically charged and literally flee from my approaching hand. Again, Weeeeeeeeeeee!

But I digress: you fill the chest up with frozen water bottles or ice packs, and it sends out COOLED air for many hours. I didn’t have enough frozen packs to make it a STELLAR success, but the air WAS cooler if I sat close by. I think.

Because then the inelegance of this frankencreature would be justified.In any case, it looks like something the crazy old man hoarder down the street would make. Not bad.