So in a nondescript shopping plaza was a bagel store. However, when I got out of the car, I realized something was wrong. Perhaps it was the Pepsi-Cola neon sign that tipped me off--I remembered the story of how one of the elders of the LDS Church was a Pepsi executive, and that corresponded to an easing of the church's attitude towards sodas and caffienated soda at that (I don't even know if it's true, but this All-American City of Provo sure has a lot of soda in it)--but now I think it was the lack of a certain smell that I always associate with bagel shops.

You see, I peered in from the window and noticed something was missing. This bagel shop had no coffee. None. I figure it was owned by Mormons who didn't wish to serve the vile beverage to anyone. I can respect that, really I can, but a bagel shop without coffee, in my religion, is tantamount to abomination.

I went back to the car and settled for a convenience storecoffee. Alas. Now I will always be disturbed by the bagel shop with no coffee.