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Teaching Your Child About How Gov't Works

THE TRUE NATURE OF GOVERNMENT ================================= I think it is very important that we teach our children about the true nature of government.

Message 1 of 1
, Jun 2, 2000

THE TRUE NATURE OF GOVERNMENT=================================

I think it is very important that we teach our
children aboutthe true nature of government. Now, at
last, there is a way togive your children a basic
civics course right in your own home!In my own experience as a father,
I have discovered severalsimple devices that can
illustrate to a child's mind the prin-ciples on which
the modern state deals with its citizens.You may find
them helpful too.For example, I used to play the simple card game WAR with
myson. After a while, when he thoroughly understood that
thehigher ranking cards beat the lower ranking ones, I
created anew game I called GOVERNMENT. In this game, I was
Government,and I won every trick, regardless of who had
the better card. My boy soon lost
interest in my new game, but I like to thinkit taught him
a valuable lesson for later in life.When your child is a little
older, you can teach him about ourtax system in a way that
is easy to grasp and will allow him tounderstand the
benefits. Offer him, say, $10 to mow the lawn.When he has
mowed it and asks to be paid, withhold $5 and explainthat
this is income tax. Give $1 of this to his younger brother,who has done nothing to deserve it, and tell him that this is"fair" because the younger brother 'needs money too'. Also,
explain that you need the other $4 yourself to cover the
administrative costs of dividing the money and for various
other thingsyou need.Make him place his $5 in a
savings account over which you haveauthority. Explain that
if he is ever naughty, you will removethe money from the
account without asking him. Also explain howyou will be
taking most of the interest he earns on that money,without
his permission. Mention that if he tries to hide themoney,
this, in itself, will be evidence of wrongdoing and willresult in you automatically taking the money from
him.Conduct random searches of his room in the small hours of themorning. Burst in unannounced. Go through all of his drawers
andpockets. If he questions this, tell him you are acting
on a tip-off from a mate of his who casually mentioned that
you had bothearned a bit of spare cash last week. If you
find it, confiscateall of that money and also take his
stereo and television. Tellhim you are selling these and
keeping the money to compensateyou for having to make the
raid. Also lock him in his room fora month as further
punishment.When he cries at the injustice of this, tell him he is being"selfish" and "greedy" and only interested in looking after
hisown happiness. Explain that he should learn to
sacrifice his ownhappiness for other people and that since
he cannot be reliedupon or trusted to do this
voluntarily, you will use force toensure he complies.
Later in life he will thank you.Make as many rules as possible.
Leave the reasons for themobscure. Enforce them
arbitrarily. Accuse your child of breakingrules you have
never told him about and carefully explain thatignorance
of your rules is not an excuse for breaking them. Keephim
anxious that he may be violating commands you haven't yetissued. Instill in him the feeling that rules are utterly
irrational. This will prepare him for living under a
democraticgovernment.He is too young to understand the
benefits of democracy, soexplain this wonderful system as
follows:You, your wife and his brother get together
and vote that yourson should have all privileges removed,
be caned, and confinedto his room for a week. If he
protests that you are violatinghis rights, patiently
explain his error and tell him that themajority have
voted for this punishment and nothing mattersexcept
the will of the majority. When your child has maturedsufficiently to understand how the judicial system works, seta bedtime for him of, say, 10 p.m. and then send him to bed
at9 p.m. When he tearfully accuses you of breaking the
rules,explain that you made the rules and you can
interpret them inany way that seems appropriate to
you, according to changingconditions.Promise often to take him to the movies or the zoo, and then,at the appointed hour, recline in an easy chair with a
newspaperand tell him you have changed your plans. When he
screams, "butyou promised!", explain to him that it was a
campaign promiseand hence meaningless. Every now and then,
without warning, slapyour child. Then explain that this is
self-defense. Tell himthat you must be vigilant at all
times to stop any potentialenemy before he gets big enough
to hurt you. This, too, yourchild will appreciate, not
right at that moment, maybe, but later in
life.If he
finds this hard to accept, you can further illustrate thepoint as follows. Take him on a trip across town with you,
to a strange neighborhood. Walk into any random house
you choose andstart sorting out their domestic problems,
using violence ifthat is what is
required.Make sure you use overwhelming force to crush the family intosubmission - this avoids a protracted visit and becoming
involved for long periods of time. Explain to your son that
only acoward stands idly by whilst injustice is happening
across town.Tell him we are all brothers and problems left
to fester willeventually spill over into your
neighborhood. Use some of the$5 you took from your son as
bus fare and to purchase a baseballbat.Drink a bottle of whisky and then lecture him on the evils ofsmoking dope. If he points out your hypocrisy remind him
thatthe majority of people drink and that, as already
explained,the needs of the majority are the only moral
standard.Break up any meeting between him and more than three of his mates as being an 'unlawful gathering'.If he
strokes the cat without the cat giving its express permission, slap him hard for feline harassment.Mark one designated spot in the
yard where he can leave his bike.If he leaves it anywhere
else, padlock it and demand $50 to release it. If he
offends more than three times, confiscate the bike,sell
it, and keep the money.Install a CCTV system in your son's bedroom and also record
allhis telephone conversations. If he protests, accuse him
of having something to hide. Explain that only criminals
seek privacyand that good, dutiful children relinquish
their privacy in exchange for the advantages which
protective parenthood offers. Remindhim of the boy across
town who was caught smoking dope in hisbedroom by just
such a CCTV system, and explain that this casejustifies
installing CCTV in all teenagers' bedrooms.Lie to your child constantly.
Teach him that words mean nothing -or rather that the
meanings of words are continually "evolving",and may be
tomorrow the opposite of what they are today.Have a word with his teachers at
school and ask them to shareany merit marks your son
achieves, with any ethnic minoritystudents who did not get
any merit marks. If he questions thispolicy, explain that
long ago we abused the ancestors of thesepeople, and so it
is only fair that he shares the merits aroundto compensate
their descendants.This is also probably a good time to tell him that his energy,talent and enthusiasm will not secure him a job if the quota
ofsuch 'abused' people has not yet been filled. Tell him
talentstands for nothing - it is fairness and sharing
which are important. Remind him that his primary duty is
the happiness andwelfare of people he does not know, and
will never meet.Ban cutlery from your home and make your son eat with his
fingers.If he asks why, remind him of the youth who
stabbed a cat todeath last week with a fork. Explain that
if just one cat issaved by the banning of cutlery, then
this prohibition will beworthwhile. If he protests,
question him closely about why heis intending to kill
innocent cats, or accuse him of being acat
hater.Issue him with a pass card which he must show before he can enter the house. Stand guard at the front door. When he comeshome, politely but firmly take him into the spare room andquestion him about his movements. Ask him how much cash he
hason his person. If in excess of $50, confiscate the lot
as itexceeds the house rule for maximum cash allowed. Then
searchhis rucksack and pockets. To keep him guessing, do
the occasional strip search. If he protests, detain him for
longer andmake the search more thorough. If he gets really
angry at this,hold him in a locked room until he misses
his next outing orparty.If these methods sound harsh, I
am only being cruel to be kind.I think it is important for
children to understand the natureof the society in which
we live.I hope you found that amusing. I did when I wrote it, but onsecond reading, I feel a bit sick. It makes the point too
plainlyto avoid."Offshore
& Privacy Secrets, May 29, 2000"
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"..it does not require a majority to
prevail, but rather an irate,tireless minority keen to set brush fires in
people's minds.."
--Samuel Adams "There are a thousand hacking
at the branches of evil to onewho is striking at the root." --
Henry David Thoreau
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