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Jerry Lewis held his annual Labor Day Telethon on the Las
Vegas Strip Monday, but they fell just short of the record. He
didn't bear up very well. By the end of the telethon, Jerry Lewis
looked so torn apart that even Siegfried and Roy's tiger was impressed.

UCLA hospital warned couples Wednesday not to use ultrasound
machines to take pre-natal baby snapshots. Sometimes pictures are
essential. One couple in Beverly Hills had a real scare during the
first trimester when they almost lost the surrogate's phone number.

Russian President Vladimir Putin promised Wednesday the Red
Army will strike back whenever and wherever he feels like it. He
announced that Russia is joining the war on terrorism. We're still
waiting to find out on which side.