Dear mainstream media people, please reach waaaaay back into your memory banks…to when a lot of you pandered to the right and turned your broadcasts and publications into a platform for the GOP to dismiss a certain Homeland Security Chief Janet Napolitano’s defense of a report citing that…wait for it!..Federal and local law enforcement needed to be on guard for an increase of anti-government Christian Identity racist militia groups following this nation’s election of our first president of color. You there yet? ‘Cause that’s where you mainstream media people need to start when reporting on this shit…not at the point of the raid, as if there’s one group with one plot out there that caught everyone by surprise.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

I need y'all to Take Action Now to move equality forward and get the Missouri Nondiscrimination Act passed!

As many of you know this bitch has worked hard for LGBT equality here in my home state of Missouri.

Let me be clear - in the state of Missouri it is currently legal to fire an employee, deny housing, or deny access to public accommodations based n a person's actual of perceived sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

MONA, the Missouri Nondiscrimination Act (HB 1850, sponsored by Rep. Stephen Webber), will protect all Missourians by adding sexual orientation and gender identity/expression to the current Missouri Human Rights Statute. The bill will apply to employment, housing, and public accommodations.

MONA is on the legislative move and we need to step up and let our voices be heard by telling Missouri legislators that Missourians want them to pass MONA now!

Friday, March 26, 2010

I have followed the child sex abuse priest Catholic Church scandal in the press.

It hasn’t been easy to read.

I can’t imagine what it was like to endure.

The case…or rather cases…in Wisconsin hit me hard. As the younger sister of a man who is profoundly autistic and aphasic, I carry the worry that someone would abuse him…it’s just there, under the surface all the time. My brother can communicate and he sure as hell lets folks know when he doesn’t like a person, but the worry and fear of abuse never goes away. So, reading that 200 deaf children were abused by a priest hit me hard as hell.

I’m not Catholic, but I don’t have to be to have an opinion about the international priest sex abuse scandals currently being investigated. I’m human…and, as Jodi Jacobson pointed out an article over at RHRealityCheck, the Catholic Church has involved itself in public policy that impacts all of our lives. But even if the Catholic Church wasn’t involved in writing public policy during the federal health care reform debate, it’s various organizations and programs serve children throughout my community in St. Louis Missouri. So, yeah…all of us should be paying attention to news of rampant abuse, a shameful lack of response and the very real potential that known sexual predators were allowed to continue their “work” as part of a cover-up.

Smears happen. People are often caught up in those smears and Lawd knows that the press adores a scandal and could care less should a person be proven innocent.

But the media isn’t smearing the Catholic Church when it reports on these scandals anymore than it smeared China when it investigated and reported on dangerous problems with imported baby formula.

In fact, the media has fallen short on this story...I’m reminded of the priest abuse scandal a few years back and how the press covered it and then tucked it away with little or no follow-up, as if they feared some sort of Da Vinci Code-esque retribution.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Birth control works, but shit happens and people need to be prepared should that happening of shit happen.

Blink.

The good thing is that people can be prepared thanks to the availability of emergency contraception over the counter!

Pause…consider…continue.

Well, actually…emergency contraception is available over the counter to people 18 years old and older.

Younger people still have to get a prescription for emergency contraception.

And the choir asked… “Why’s that, bitch?”

And a bitch replied… “According to a US District Court ruling on March 23, 2009, the FDA “acted in bad faith and in response to political pressure” in imposing the age restriction. The court urged the FDA to re-review the evidence for over-the-counter access to anyone at risk of unintended pregnancy. The FDA has had a year to remove the restriction but has done nothing.”

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tea Bag Party people and whatever the hell group Sarah Palin represents are up in arms, fired up and planning to get their campaign on.

Why?

Well, if the pundits are to be believed ‘tis because of the passage of health care reform. But a bitch is going to call bullshit on that – these people don’t like ANYTHING generated from the Obama administration and health care reform is just the latest item on that long list.

Catch the knee, I’m not saying that there aren’t valid critiques of the health care reform bill – I’m saying that these motherfuckers aren’t making them.

Unfortunately for Republicans, they will have to campaign with these Tea Bag Party people and whatever the hell group Sarah Palin represents…and one should not underestimate the path to fubar that represents.

The GOP must balance playing up the anger out there…and they usually do a good job when they can campaign against something…but they are going to have to walk a very tin line between anger and spitting on people of color after using racial slurs.

That shit ain’t easy! Hell, a perfectly planned event can turn into a shit storm in seconds when anger is also in attendance. Just imagine it – you’ve got an angry crowd of people who are fully prepared to vote against anything so you don’t even have to stand for something and then some asshole you were assured would give a solid “Let’s meet ‘em at the state line” war of northern aggression speech let’s a macaca slip out and you end up spending a week trying to spin that only a small portion of your supporters are ig’nant bigots. That shit may turn on the base, but it turns off independents who like to think they are color blind and who are desperately trying to convince themselves that their never ending doubt of a black man in power isn’t actually a never ending doubt of a black man in power.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Anyhoo, this shit is going to be one wild ride…

…and this bitch happens to think pro-choicers shouldn’t spend it on the defensive.

Some people are saying that the reason health care reform was so hard to pass is because Democrats were burdened by their party’s support of reproductive choice.

Those people are wrong.

The reason health care reform was so hard to pass…the reason many progressive policy elements were removed…the reason women were thrown under the bus…the reason is because the Democratic Party is burdened by conservative anti-choice Dems.

I’ll repeat – the Democratic Party is burdened by anti-choice, Blue Dawg, lower case “d”, liberal Republicans in Democratic clothing and they must go.

And I don’t want to hear any shit about how we’re going to have to go out there and defend these assholes that gleefully sold women out for a pat on the head from their Bishop.

Reproductive justice activists have been re-energized by the health care reform fight and we need to take it to another level, put our organizing skills to work and identify real progressives to replace the freaks currently holding office.

The best defense is a “holy shit, where did all these pro-choice voters come from?!?” offense.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Over the weekend, it looked as if that wasn’t going to happen…phones were worked, arms were twisted and the promise of an Executive Order banning federal funding of abortion health care services was made.

Protesters and Tea Bag Party people were gathered throughout D.C., where they got their protest on.

Some of those protesters hurled racial slurs and spit on Representative Emanuel Cleaver.

Representative John Lewis, a hero of the Civil Rights Movement, was called the n-word and assorted other slurs.

Representative Barney Frank, an out gay man, was called the f-word (to borrow from an anchor at CNN, it rhymes with “maggot”) and assorted other slurs.

And, as the House came together to debate, speechify and vote, Representative Bart Stupak was called a “baby killer”. (a bitch’s first note – Stupak’s group had opposed the health care reform bill until President Obama promised to sign that Executive Order banning federal funding of abortion health care services…and he’s the very definition of anti-choice…so, that shout down on the House floor was particularly bizarre)

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Before this bitch turns my attention to the Senate…and we mustn’t forget that the Senate is the next battlefield for this shit (a bitch’s second note – Tea Bag Party people will have to dig deep into their slur storage when protesting the Senate, ‘cause that ain’t exactly a sea of diversity)…I’d like to quickly address the rancidity prior to the vote in the House.

Cough.

A bitch is not surprised that shit got nasty as the health care reform bill came up for a vote nor am I surprised that assholes hurled those slurs.

I’m not shocked.

This behavior is product of the tolerance movement in America and regular readers know that a bitch isn’t a fan of the school of tolerance.

Tolerance is a shitty contract between the privileged and the oppressed.

The privileged agree to “tolerate” otherness and difference as long as the other doesn’t make demands upon them...like fighting for rights or equal treatment under law.

The other agrees to not challenge privilege in exchange for a false sense of security.

The health care reform debate and vote broke that contract…and beneath all that tolerance is a whole lot of ig’nance and hate, a kind of infection that hasn’t been treated because too many people have learned to tolerate the stench and pain.

Friday, March 19, 2010

A bitch can’t remember if I posted about my concern over my brother’s teeth...

...so I’m posting about my concern over my brother’s teeth and our discovery of a solution.

Shall we?

As most of you know, my older brother is profoundly autistic. He’s rather hyper, so hygiene can be rushed. When it comes to brushing teeth, my brother hasn’t had the best track record...and that resulted in a bad check-up the last time he went to the dentist.

This bitch freaked out and began to have nightmares over the prospect of trying to teach Bill how to put dentures in.

Lawd, have mercy.

Anyhoo, after freaking out I went into problem solve mode…and asked some parents of younger children what they do to try to improve their kid’s brushing.

Behold, pre-brush dental rinses that temporarily stain teeth to show where a body needs to brush better!

I scored some from the Walgreen’s…blue with bubble-gum flavoring…and met with staff at my brother’s residential placement to go over a new brushing protocol.

Fast forward to this week and my brother’s latest dental check-up…and the dentist was thrilled.

Thrilled!

Dentists are hardly ever thrilled.

Our dentist said that this was one of the best check-ups ever and my brother’s teeth look great.

Happy, happy, happy and joy, joy, JOY!

Anyhoo, I just had to share and encourage folks facing similar situations to get your discussion on with colleagues and friends.

Sometimes the solution is as simple as a $4 bubble gum flavored rinse and some one-on-one time while brushing…

The 20th day of March is the seventh anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq War.

Yet, when I checked the CNN homepage I couldn’t find a story…just the word “Iraq” under Hot topics trending at number seven, just below Corey Haim.

Blink.

Well, I’ve got Iraq War related news this anniversary.

A certain AIV (name and rank withheld by request), who served and was wounded in Iraq, sent me an email this morning.

I first heard from AIV years ago when he wrote to me in response to a post…we struck up an e-discussion (actually, ‘twas more like a good argument) that went on until AIV sustained a traumatic brain injury.

A fellow soldier sent word that AIV was injured…and several months later his mother contacted me to say she read my blog to him every day. It’s been a long journey toward recovery and it ain’t over yet, but…

…AIV sent this bitch an email today.

Butt ass early in the morning, too!

And that’s news…big news, damn it.

AIV asked me to post that we must not forget the millions of Iraqis, thousands of Americans and soldiers from allied nations…that we must not forget the dead and wounded and the families who are left behind.

Seven years ago, this nation went to war…with networks fighting to cover every angle and pundits scrambling to get their spin on…with embedded reporters and constant coverage.

Seven years ago, the invasion of Iraq was big news.

Now, though we remain at war, coverage of the Iraq War is for the opinion pages if mentioned at all.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A certain Alissa sent this bitch an email asking for my thoughts on the 2010 Census…specifically, on the inclusion of the word “Negro” on the form.

You asked for it!

I read that the 2010 Census form would include the word “Negro” and I must confess that it made my Afro hurt. When I learned that the Census claims that they added “Negro” in response to people having written that shit in during the last census…well, the pain in my Afro broke records.

Here are my thoughts.

My gut tells me that some folks wrote the word “Negro” in during the last census.

Catch that knee, damn it!

The anthropologist in me understands that there are generational and socio-economic factors that may lead a person of African descent to self-select the word “Negro”.

That doesn’t mean that the United States Census should have added “Negro” in…and it sure as shit doesn’t mean that they should have added it in to a single line option that doesn’t allow people who are offended by the word to select their race separate of that word (note – I’m looking at the form right now and it lists Black, African Am., or Negro).

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

There is an option to print some other race, but since Black, African Am., or Negro is listed on page 1 as question 9 is filling in Black on the “Some other race – Print race” section under question 9 an error? Would such an error cause problems?

Sigh.

Obviously, a bitch is going to have to call these motherfuckers and get clarification…in writing.

Anyhoo, my major issue with the inclusion of the word “Negro” on the single line racial identity option available to people of African descent is that we’ve had over 20 years of government forms and applications without that shit being listed. I don’t care how many people write in a damn word, someone at the Census had to know that shit would piss people off...

…and that leads me to the real problem.

The inclusion of the word “Negro” on the single line racial identity option available to people of African descent is a turn off. People in my own family are talking about skipping the Census...and that’s more than just troubling.

Census data is beyond important. The reason I’m pissed off at the United States Census is because the data they collect is so damn important that it’s too damn important for those assholes to fuck this shit up this way and add a word in that could result in a measurable percent of Americans not filing this fucking form out.

And put a hold on the “not everyone is offended” or “this really isn’t a big deal” comments – I get that shit.

I’ll repeat – my problem is with the inclusion of “Negro” when it holds the potential of turning off a measurable percent of Americans. Those who prefer the word can…and, if the Census is to be believed, did fill that shit in which is an option under question 9.What isn’t an option is for those who identify as black…like this bitch…to fill in question 9 without also selecting “Negro” because these tired ass motherfuckers put all that shit on one line, saved that doc and sent it in without another fucking thought about that shit.

So now, a bitch has to call these assholes to make sure that writing Black in when Black is listed as an option…because I really don’t feel like identifying as Black, African Am., or Negro…won’t fucked my form up…cough…when clearly they could have left that word off and whoever the hell these people of color who prefer Negro are would have written that shit in again.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I don’t understand how the tanned look is considered healthy when skin cancer is the most common cancer in the world. Even if folks are able to tan without risking cancer, that shit ages the hell out of a body. I’ve noticed an increase in so-called age defying skin cream commercials that claim to erase lines and I can’t help but wonder why the fuck people don’t just avoid some motherfucking sun and save your damned money?

Shit.

Confession – I don’t tan. I’m naturally brown, but I can achieve that dark chocolate look very easily (yes, black people tan too)…so I avoid the sun as much as possible. No, I’m not color-struck…I’m color sensitive (wink), which means that I don’t like my arms to be a different shade of brown than my legs. Trust a bitch - that shit happens in minutes and then I end up spending the entire summer with multi-colored limbs that never match. Plus, black people can get skin cancer too.

Cough.

My major problem with tanning is the burning and peeling that comes with it. When I was a wee bitch in high school, fellow students would head to Spring Break looking relatively normal and come back red as a hot link. Then the peeling would begin and these people would get all excited as their second-degree burns healed enough for them to get their serpent on and peel skin. Ugh! Eventually, a nice brown body scar that these students called a base tan emerged and all of us were supposed to ooooh and ahh over that shit.

Lawd, have mercy!

Anyhoo, spring is in the air and that that means the tan season is about to kick in. This bitch thinks this is a good time to address that burn and peel mess.

Ahem.

If you tan and burn, please keep the serpentesque shedding stage of the process to your damn self.

Monday, March 15, 2010

With daylight savings time, my body thinks it’s 2 o’clock in the morning…so this early wakefulness is even more fucked up that the clock claims it is.

Shit.

Fuck it, let’s be productive…shall we?

Longtime readers know that this bitch isn’t a football fan. The only time I hear about my hometown football team, the Rams, is when I’m forced to sit through football news to get to hockey news. But, to borrow a wee bit of language from Quintin Tarantino, I am aware that there is this sport called football that is played for fun and for profit and that lots and lots of other people enjoy it the way I adore hockey.

I was a little late catching the news that the Rams may or may not be courting a certain Michael Vick. As a matter of fact, I had no clue until St. Louis Alderperson Antonio French took to Twitter last weekend with the following tweet “If the Rams pick up Vick, I'll buy season tickets. (Yeah, I said it.)”

French added... “@kailsburg Good idea. The Rams hire Vick then pay for the new animal shelter as a mea culpa. I like it.”

I believe people can change for the better or for the worse…people can change and, in our current prison culture, we’d do well to support programs that help them change for the better.

However…and you just had to know there was a however fixin’ to come…I’m more than a little disturbed by the dismissive attitude some are voicing toward Vick’s crimes and the apparent reason behind that dismissive "fuck it, go Rams!" attitude.

Shit, as much as I adore the St. Louis Blues…and trust a bitch, I LOVE my Blues…I wouldn’t casually dismiss the actions of a confess animal torturer/murderer just ‘cause he had serious game. Sorry, but if former Blue Matt Danton had Ovechkin skills I wouldn't be lobbying for the Blues to bring him back no questions asked. Danton, who was convicted of conspiracy to commit murder, is making his way back onto the ice...slowly and with great care and a lot of eyes watching to see what's what...and this bitch happens to think that's the best thing for him and the game.

If I had a dollar for every time someone has actually verbalized that they don’t give a flying shit what Vick did as long as the Rams start winning, a bitch would be able to pay for that new animal shelter Mr. French tweeted about the Rams building.

‘Tis that kind of thinking that makes me think something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

In the wake of the St. Louis Cardinals defiant and dismissive attitude toward criticism of their hiring Mark McGwire as a hitting coach even though it’s obvious as a motherfucker that McGwire’s hitting skills were enhanced (and a bitch has to wonder what kind of advice he can offer other than to shoot up and then deny, deny, deny while cashing the hell in)…cough…a bitch finds the addition of the “We don’t give a fuck as long as the Rams win” Vick spin disturbing as hell.

We are what we celebrate.

And I’m beginning to see a very fucked up theme here.

The sad as hell thing is, a bitch thinks that there are arguments to be made for Vick…I think he could do good work in a city that could use examples of folks getting out of jail, making a good life for themselves, not downplaying but rather owning their crimes and working within the community to help young people avoid falling into the wretched shit that sent their ass to jail in the first place.

But that’s not what these Rams fans are saying…is it?

And tossing out a suggestion that the Rams build a shelter isn’t clever…’tis so flippant that it is the very definition of insulting.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Opponents to reform staged their own rally to rally support for…um, well…to rally support for not doing anything to reform health care.

Basically, the St. Louis metropolitan area was awash in rallyfication.

This bitch caught some of the rally against rallying support for health care reform on the news and I was struck by a certain theme of state sovereignty.

See, Missouri has a 10th Amendment movement afoot that seeks to establish state sovereignty and one of the key issues supporters are using to make their push is health care reform.

Now, now…I know that you know that I know that you know that the 10th Amendment does not grant absolute sovereignty to states in the union. That would make the union part of the Republic a wee bit fucked. Rather, it grants states the right to control shit that the federal government does not control or regulate. Like most of the Constitution, it lacks specificity…that is a good thing, since we the people don’t want to be limited by the specific definitions of 1790’s American society. But ‘tis that lack of specificity that has some Missourians attempting to break from the union without breaking from the union because they profess to love the union they are declaring sovereignty from.

Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve witnessed a sovereignty event that puts forth an argument about how Missouri is our own sovereign government/state/area answerable to no one and no government...and that ends with everyone in attendance pledging allegiance to the United States of America.

Blink.

Yep, it’s really something to behold.

Oh, and these sovereignty folks love to issue non-binding resolutions.

Confession - a bitch finds issuing a resolution that holds no legal power to announce that Missouri doesn’t have to do anything the federal government mandates strange as hell if the foundation of the sovereignty argument is that the 10th Amendment grants Missouri the right to not do anything the federal government mandates.

But, what the hell…go forth and resolve without legal ramification to not do anything the federal government mandates.

This is one of those moments when a Congressperson involved in a shit storm within the Beltway fails to understand that his shit storm is contained to the Beltway and, as a result, takes to talking about that shit storm with national media and thus expands said storm of shit all across the nation and beyond.

Sigh.

My understanding is that last week then Congressman Massa was under investigation by the House Ethics Committee for allegedly groping male staffers and interns. At some point, Massa said he was resigning because of a recurrence of cancer…but that quickly morphed into his admitting that he was resigning because of the allegations of groping…and then it morphed again into Massa claiming that he was set up by the Democratic Party because he planned to oppose the health care reform bill.

I know, I know…major TMI…but I’m trying to stay on top of this public display of How to Destroy Your Political Career in Less than 10 Steps.

Cough.

Yesterday Mr. Massa…no longer Congressman Massa…went on the Glenn Beck Show to plead his case.

Note to Democrats in the midst of blowing up your political career – going on Beck to claim that you’re a victim of a Democratic conspiracy is like holding a press conference denying infidelity from your mistress's bed.

Anyhoo, that should catch us up as much as we can be caught up with Mr. Massa's addiction to talking and talking and then talking some more.

Whew.

Here are my thoughts on this mess.

#1 – As much as I wish the Democratic Party indulged in strong-arm politics to hold members accountable should they vote against the health care reform bill…

…something tells me that shit just ain’t happening.

Or maybe it’s only happening to those members who expose a major weakness…like a tendency to grope multiple staffers and interns who then report that shit.

But its not as if Massa denied the groping…well, okay he denied it and then “owned” it and then denied it and then attempted to put it into context.

Fuck a duck, this shit is confusing as a motherfucker!

Fuck it - I’ll believe the Democratic Party is playing rough and setting up health care reform defectors when Congressman Stupak is found in bed with two small farm animals and Senator Nelson.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

#2 – This may be a case of “Oh, my gods…look at that...is that a dog riding a skateboard?!?”…

A bitch suspects that Mr. Massa, who used to be Congressman Massa, may be trying a little ignore and redirect.

See, even though Mr. Massa is no longer being investigated by the House Ethics Committee for groping male staffers and interns ‘cause he’s no longer Congressman Massa, he is still subject to the ramifications of groping male staffers and interns.

At least I hope he is.Come to think of it, is Mr. Massa still facing an investigation...any investigation...into sexually harassing staffers and interns?

***cue crickets***

Mercy.

Well, he should be facing an investigation.

Resigning from Congress shouldn’t close any book but the ethics investigation book on that shit.

We can’t have Congressmen exploiting their position and power by harassing and assaulting staffers and interns then resigning to skip out on punishment.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Lawd, that Oscar ceremony was long as hell! But ‘twas fun to watch with C-Money and Brother Rob Thurman after inhaling chilidogs and tater tots…yum!

Anyhoo, congrats to the winners and nominees and everyone who managed to get through the ceremony without falling down those stairs (mercy, all those long dresses coupled with high heels made a bitch nervous as a motherfucker!)

Onward…

As many of you know, my older brother was involved in a car-based accident a while back. He’s fine, thank the gods, but I’ve been too nervous to take him out driving since it happened. Bill, who is profoundly autistic, had launched himself from a van out onto the street in moving traffic…it still gives me the shakes to think of it. He was bruised and scraped up, but nothing was broken or torn. When we left the hospital with him…and I can’t tell you how happy I was to be able to leave the hospital with him after that accident…he was clearly confused about why his body hurt and why he wasn’t allowed in the front seat of a car anymore.

A bitch’s nerves were shot and have remained shot since when pondering driving with my brother.

An aside – we solved the how of that shit but ordering totally affordable seat-belt locks that my brother can’t release. Fantabulous.

Fast-forward to yesterday, when C-Money and this bitch visited with my brother for lunch and some family time. Bill is used to getting to go out driving on Sundays, because he usually spends that day with a family friend running errands and so forth. His pal had to work, so the Sisters Bitch switched days and visited with Bill. After lunch, we suggested a walk…Bill agreed, but when we reached the corner he asked to go back home.

It was clear Bill wanted a drive and when we got home he asked…with that look on his face that makes me feel like an absolute monster for not saying yes.

So, there I was…trapped between my nerves about driving Bill post accident and his love of cruising about in a car with the radio on.

We decided to take him for a short drive.

Get into car.

Pull out of driveway, ease on down the road and…

…everything went fine.

No drama, no launching of bodies out of car doors while the vehicle is traveling at 20 miles per hour…no problems, except Bill being more than a little annoyed that it wasn’t a longer drive.

When we pulled back into the driveway I relaxed a bit…and I realized that I must have been tensed up because my shoulders felt like someone had been at them with a meat tenderizer.

Sigh.

It might not seem like a big deal, but these things…driving around without staff in the car and being able to hang out with my brother and know that he’s safe…yeah, these little things are the very things that make out relationship special.

I didn’t realize how much I missed driving with Bill sans staff until I took that first post-accident drive with him yesterday.

It was way more than a good thing…that drive to score soda pop and a snack was one of the very best things.

One of those precious normal things in our different kind of normal life.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

The Center for Reproductive Rights, a global legal organization dedicated to advancing women's reproductive health, self-determination and dignity as basic human rights, has launched a new video and campaign about Kenya’s restrictive abortion law.

Some of the findings from their fact-finding mission –

Unsafe abortion accounts for 35% of Kenya’s maternal deaths

800 abortions, spontaneous and induced, occur every day in Kenya

Over 2,600 Kenyan women die from unsafe abortions each year

Approximately 21,000 women are admitted each year to Kenya’s public hospitals alone for treatment of complications from incomplete and unsafe abortion

At this very moment, the Kenyan government is reviewing proposals to include even more severe abortion restrictions into its constitution. There’s never been a more important moment to get the truth about Kenya’s abortion policies out to the public and to start a conversation.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

I’m honored…for real…and thrilled to see that my Afro was looking fierce the day they took my picture (wink).

Anyhoo, I’ve noticed an increase in traffic…and I also noticed that a couple of clueless knaves, who may or may not have come over from the land of RFT (knaves have a way of finding a bitch’s blog without the guide of media attention), have attempted to leave comments that violate a bitch’s lone commandment – thou shalt not be trifling.

So, here’s a quick refresher in bitchitude 101...

#1 - We don’t hate Jewish people here...

Pause…allow time for those who hate Jewish people to move the fuck on…continue.

Sigh.

Yes, I "know" Jewish people...I'm a Brandeis alum, you ass.

Pause...allow time for ass to Google Brandeis University...continue.

Sadly, I’m sure there is a blog out there where you can spew rancidity…but this ain’t a “safe space” for that shit and it never will be.

Next!

#2 – There were people in North America before North America was North America and Mexicans in California before California was California and on and on and on again…

Lawd, give me strength.

If you try to leave a comment blaming Mexicans for [insert social ill challenging just about every state in the union, even those without a large minority population]…cough…that comment will be rejected.

And we can keep doing that dance…cause a bitch’s Reject Asshole Comment Finger is in great shape after five motherfucking years of this shit…or you can shoo and get your ig’nant ass back to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch's comment section (yeah, I went there).

#3 – I’m not Catholic…

I’ve never been Catholic.

I was raised Protestant and taught to understand what we were protesting against.

So, save the Our Fathers and Hail Marys for someone who speaks that shit…

…this bitch has a one-on-one relationship with God and she assured me that we’re cool the last time we had a chat.

Wink.

And finally…

#4 – I am black and thus do not require an explanation of what black people do…

Fuck a duck, if a bitch had a dollar for every one of you fucks who overlook the fact that I am black to tell me what black people do, think and want I’d incorporate myself and start making campaign donations.

Christ.

And ‘tis obvious you don’t know any black people…your comments read like speculation from ancient explorers pondering whether sharks have legs or whether the world is round.

Look, I think I’d remember if I’d given birth much less if I’d done so 11 times…and I sure as hell don’t see how I balanced college with the crime spree you seem to associate with me and mine because of the color of my skin…and, although I do adore fried chicken, I’m allergic to watermelon…

Several D.C. based couples have already asked this bitch to preside over their marriage ceremony, but…although I am a goddess and the High Priestess of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks…this bitch isn’t licensed to perform official marriages.

Pause…consider…continue.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that certificate I scored over the internets has expired.

Lawd knows, the last thing y’all want to do is fuck up on the ceremony after working that hard to get marriage equality!

Wink.

I do, however, adore a good marriage ceremony…so I’ll consider those invites and letcha know!

Anyhoo, congrats and may y’all find happiness and joy and legal protection...

Monday, March 01, 2010

A bitch has noticed a rise in verbal malfunctions and home training fails from politicians surrounding the issue of children and people with developmental disabilities.

#1 – The “Punishment from God” argument… I’ll be publishing a more detailed exploration of this one over at Feministing later today, but this bullshit can’t be called out too many times. When my older brother, who is autistic, was born many a preacher told my mother that she was being punished for her sins. Other assholes told her that, if she were a good Christian, God would bless her with a cure for my brother. And to top that off, many medical professionals told my mother that my brother wouldn’t be “like that” if she had hugged him more…talked to him more…loved him the way a “good mother” loves her children.

Let me be clear…I am calling bullshit on any person who latches onto biblical quotes to indict women as deserving punishment for using or having [insert reproductive health care service] and label children and adults with developmental disabilities as cursed or a curse or a punishment from above.

Yeah, that’s bullshit.

My brother isn’t a punishment and my mother didn’t do anything to "deserve" punishment or judgment from God or society or the medical community.

Shame on anyone and everyone who keeps than rancidity alive…

…and a bitch curses all who do that shit to vicious enlightenment.

That’s right, I curse them enlightened and ask the goddess to turn the light on in their vacant heads at a moment in time when they least expect it.

***raises hands to the sky and chants***

May these assholes be flooded with awareness that they are assholes and that they have perpetuated inaccurate hurtful bullshit…and may they spend the rest of their days knowing with a special kind of absolute knowledge that they are indeed rancid assholes of the lowest order and wretched to boot.