Friday, November 18, 2011

Story of My Life

I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an
astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a
tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another
person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't
really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I
care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling?
No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give
it my best shot.

I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me
it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week
and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like
a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth
day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and
then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we
saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it
seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started
seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the
seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day
seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it
to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

In case you haven't guessed yet, there's been a lot of drug traffic on
the beach. And I'm not talking about Robitussin and No-Doze. I'm talking
about the hard stuff, and a lot of it. I've been trying to find out
who's behind it. It hasn't been easy. I don't shower much.

It's the same thing your whole life: "Clean up your room. Stand up
straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister.
Don't mix beer and wine, ever." Oh yeah: "Don't drive on the railroad
track."

And
I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told
Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m
quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve
moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the
window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then,
they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my
Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the
staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take
my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…

Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my
opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should
believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I
just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I
could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.

Well, it got so that every ticked-off prairie punk who thought he could
shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have
killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started
to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking
down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it,
mister!" I spun around... and there I was, face-to-face with a six-year
old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard
shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a
whiskey bottle... and I've been there ever since.

My Life

I love my life: my loving husband, my two adorable step-kids, my critters, and the great outdoors. Along the way I've been blessed with wonderful friends and family to help me in my journey.

Here's you'll find the smorgasbord of random happenings that is my life: everything from my journeys off the beaten path, to renovating old, dilapidated furniture, to my everlasting search for better health, to my propensity for trying new things.

My life isn't how I planned, but I wouldn't change a moment of it. I used to say I wanted an average life, but now I see that was never meant for me. I have learned to embrace the chaos, and this blog is my way of sharing my journey through the pandemonium that is my life.