Chapter Six

I opened my eyes and looked over at the sun streamingthrough my windows, for a second wondering where I was. After afew seconds, I remembered what day it was, and what had happenedthe night before.I quickly turned over and saw that the other side of thebed was empty. I sighed in relief, not knowing how I would havehandled having to wake up next to him.My door squeaked and I looked up quickly, "Oh good, youare awake" Brandon said, walking in with two large mugs ofcoffee. At the sight of the steaming hot coffee all awkwardnesswas forgotten and I held my hands out like a toddler wanting hermommy to pick her up.Brandon laughed, "Here you go, fresh from the pot" he said,handing the coffee to me.I sighed as the warm mug touched my hands, not hesitatingto take a quick sip. "Oh, it's so good" I couldn't help but sayas the hot liquid rolled down my throat."Hey, if there is one thing I know I'm good at, it'scoffee." He said, sitting down on the bed next to me and settinghis mug on the small bedside table next to me.I looked up and saw that he had a strained look on hisface, "What's the matter?" I asked him."We need to talk about something. I got a call this morningfrom Jessica. They have now finished testing all but about threepeople and she let me know that I am on the short list to bechosen to go" he said, not needing to explain further.I took another large gulp of coffee before setting it downon the table next to his; "Oh" was all I could manage to say."Well, say something" he said, looking at my face closely."I am of course happy for you" I told him."Now don't get too ahead of yourself though, I haven't beenofficially chosen yet. I just thought we needed to talk aboutthe possibility that I could leave." He said.I nodded, "From the moment we both signed up I knew therewas that possibility" I told him.He looked at me with a serious expression, "If I go, wouldyou miss me?" he asked quietly.I smiled, "How could I not? You have been a part of my lifesince we were eight."We looked at each other for a few long seconds before hespoke again, "Okay, look. There are some things that I need totake care of. I need to go and see my parents for one, and thatwill be just super fun" he said, rolling his eyes.I nodded, "Yeah okay. I would go into work, but Jessica hasforbidden it" I told him.He nodded, "I know, and I'm happy for that. You work toodamn hard. Well, I had fun last night, and I'm sure I'll see youlater on or something, maybe we can order take out and watchmovies or something?" he asked.I shrugged, "Yeah maybe, call me later" I told him, eagerfor him to leave so that I could change out of the small tanktop I was wearing.Brandon leaned over to reach beside me and grabbed thecoffee that he had left there before he sat down. His face wasso close to mine that I could see a small light splattering offreckles just under his eyes that I had somehow never noticedbefore.I held my breath as he inched even closer, the smell of hisspicy cologne engulfing my senses, making my head swim and myheart skip a beat. I quickly jumped back as his mouth cameincredibly close to my left ear. He looked over at me with anamused expression on his face."Do I make you nervous?" he asked me quietly, keeping hisface close to mine."No" I squeaked a little too fast, trying to cover up thefact that he did actually make me very nervous."I don't believe you" he said as he put his hands on thewall behind me and pushed me backward up against the headboardof my bed. He slowly inched his face close to mine until hislips were only centimeters from touching mine."Brandon" I whispered, trying to convey to him both mylonging and wish for him to stop."Why are you so scared of touching me?" he asked me, hiswarm breath gliding along my lips, making me shiver."I'm not. It's just that you are Brandon, my best friendsince forever and it's wrong" I finally said, trying not tosound like an idiot.

Brandon stared at me for a few seconds before leaning infurther and whispering into my ear, making my breath hitch in mychest, "I'll forget it, for now" he said as his lips grazed myear. I could fell the prickly hairs of his five o'clock shadowagainst my cheek, making my face burn.He pulled away and stood back up straight, taking his handsoff the wall and took his coffee, giving me a smile and a winkthat made me question my decision to not rip his clothes offright there in my room.He turned to leave and I let out a breath, happy that hedidn't try to push me further. I just couldn't do that toStacey, she had gotten him first and I had to respect that. Menjust didn't understand the girl code and I wasn't going to letmy stupid hormones get in the way of either of our friendships.Brandon stopped and turned back around and looked at me fora few seconds, "No I'm not going to forget it" he said walkingtoward me again, setting his coffee down on the dresser.I held my breath as he leaned down and softly grabbed myface. His lips touched mine, lightly at first, then slowly withmore pressure. My heart was beating way too fast to stay in mychest and I felt my palms go wet as I gripped the mattressbeneath me, trying to keep myself from grabbing him, wrapping mylegs around him and pulling him on top of me.I moaned slightly as his mouth opened just an inch and ourtongues touched, sending shivers of electricity down my body.After what was surely just a few seconds, but felt like alifetime, he pulled away from me. I looked up at him as he stoodback up, feeling my cheeks burning with embarrassment anddesire.I quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled him back, kissinghim with ever fiber in my body. He leaned onto the bed, puttinghis knees beside me as he continued to kiss me. He leaned mesideways until I was completely lying underneath him with hisweight slightly pressing onto me. It was then that my mind wentbeyond his prefect lips and reminded me that I shouldn't bedoing this. I gently pressed against his chest, enough for himto pull away from me and look down at me.I sat there trying to figure out what to say after a kisslike that to convey to him that nothing could go further thanthat, but before I could say anything he stood up and walkedaway without a word. I pulled my covers up over my head, hopingthat my body hadn't betrayed me and sent him loud and clear howmuch I wanted him, when I needed him to think differently. Idecided right then and there that I needed to talk to Staceyabout it and clear the air.***I ran into the living room, hoping that Brandon was alreadygone. I looked around and saw that it appeared everyone wasgone. I could not see anyone in the living room or kitchen. Ilooked over at Stacey's door and saw that her door was closed.Taking a deep breath and hoping that I didn't interruptsomething I really didn't want to see I quietly walked over toher door and knocked. In my head the knock was loud enough towake the dead, but in reality it was barely audible."Yes?" I heard Stacey ask from her room."Hey it's me, can I come in?" I yelled back through thedoor."Yeah come on in" she yelled back.I slowly opened the door and saw her and Vickie sitting onher bed next to each other, both with a book in their hands. Irelease the breath I hadn't realized until that point that I washolding and closed her door behind me."What's the matter Randi?" Stacey asked me, seeing from myexpression that something was wrong."I need to talk to you about Brandon" I said, looking overat Vickie, whose head was still down looking at her book. "I'msorry if I'm interrupting anything.""No, we were just reading. We joined a lesbian book cluband they gave us this trash to read" she said, throwing her bookdown onto the table next to her bed."Okay. So, I have something to tell you and I don't wantyou to get angry at me" I told her, bracing myself for her anger."What would I possibly be mad at you for that has to dowith Brandon?" she asked, sitting up straighter.I looked over to Vickie, "Um, well he sort of kissed methis morning before he left" I said, wincing at having to saythe words out loud.Stacey's eyes went dark, "Did he make you do something youdidn't want to do? I will kick his ass Randi, no matter how longyou guys have been friends. Did he rape you? You better tell methe truth" she said, her voice starting to rise.It was at this point that Vickie's head finally lifted upfrom her book, a concerned frown on her face."No, nothing like that Stace, jeez. He kissed me, but notforcefully. I might have actually kissed him back" I said.She nodded slowly, "Okay so you just kissed him, that'sall?" she asked."Yes, and I feel horrible about it, I'm so sorry" I said,getting down onto my knees next to her bed and put my head intoher lap.Stacey was silent for a moment and when I looked up at her,I saw that she was staring at me with an odd look on her face."Please say something" I told her.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you freaking outabout this?" she asked."Look, I know that you are with Vickie now, and I respectthat and I love that you are so happy. But, you were withBrandon first and I could never break the girl code" I told her,tears starting to stream down my face.Stacey laughed, "Is that what you are so worked up about?"she asked.I looked up at her and nodded, "Yes, please forgive me. Iwill never touch him again" I said."Wait, you slept with Brandon?" Vickie asked.Stacey put her hands out, "Okay let me explain everythingto both of you. This is all a misunderstanding" she said."What do you mean?" I asked her."Okay first, Vickie do you remember when we first met and Ihad told you that I was hung-over from partying with my roommateand her friend the night before?" she asked, looking over atVickie.Vickie nodded, "Yes, I remember that" she said."Okay, well that is the night Brandon came back home withme. But, Randi, you have it all wrong. I didn't sleep withBrandon that night" she said."What do you mean? You guys invited me in to, you know,join you" I said.Vickie's mouth opened wide, "What the hell Stacey" shesaid, obviously shocked.Stacey lifted her hand, "Okay so let me tell you the story.Okay?" she asked looking from me back to Vickie. We both nodded."Okay, so I was in a weird mood that night and did actuallywant to take some random guy into my bed. Well, there wasnothing but dorks from Randi's work there that night. No offenseRandi" she said."None taken" I said quickly."Anyway, the only even remotely cute guy was Brandon. Ididn't really want to have sex with him because I know you havebeen in love with him since forever" she began."What? You knew" I interrupted her."Oh honey, everyone but him knew it. So, I wasn't going toask him, but after I had downed a few drinks, I started tothink, what the hell, so I asked him to come home with me. Well,like a gentleman he said no, but then I saw the way he lookedover at you so I made him a proposition" she said."Like a prostitute?" Vickie asked, a half smile on her face.Stacey rolled her eyes, "No. I told him that I could seethat he was into Randi and if he wanted I could pretend toinvite him back and then try to invite you to a threesome andonce you guys got started just sort of leave you two alone" sheexplained.I pulled back from her, "You tried to trick me into havingsex with him?" I asked, somewhat upset that I didn't do it.She nodded, "Yes, okay I was trying to trick you. You havebeen in love with this dude since you were at least in collegewhen I met you, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but you reallyneed to get laid. I figured if you would have sex with anyone itwould be him" she said.I sighed, "Ninth grade" I said quietly."What?" she asked, confused about what I was saying, sinceit seemed completely off topic."I've had a thing for him since the fucking ninth grade!" Iyelled."So then why are you so afraid to be with him, he isobviously into you? After you turned us down, we went back to myroom and all he did was talk about you until I passed out fromsheer boredom" she said."He talked about me?" I asked quietly, wondering what theyhad talked about but too afraid to ask for details."Yes, he talked about you. So why are you so scared totouch him?" she asked.I looked away, "I don't know. There is such a huge part ofme that wants to rip off his clothes and slurp juice out of hisstomach muscles" I said."Eww" Vickie said from next to me.I smiled, "But another, larger part of me knows that wehave been friends since we were eight and I know if somethinghappens, it will get awkward and I couldn't handle losing him asa friend.""What if it doesn't get awkward though? What if he is yourhappily ever after?" Vickie asked, her book completely forgottenat this point.I sighed, "There is a problem with that theory" I said."What is that?" she asked."Well, I don't believe in happily ever after."