I’m wondering when and if I’ll ever find him.
I’ve dated for a while now. I’ve dated the lawyer. The medical student. The businessman. I’ve dated the Romanian lecturer. The Spanish professor. The R&B star.

I’m tired. And I’m too young to be tired. But I am. I am tired of feeling like my quality, my exclusivity, the very essence of myself, is being shared with men who are neither deserving, nor enticing. With each meal that I share, each movie that I sit through, and each coffee I sip, I feel like I am giving a small piece of myself to the young suitor who sits across the table, beside me in the theater, or on the adjacent couch at Starbucks. With each conversation, I feel like I am sharing some piece of myself with a man who is neither deserving of my time, nor of the access he is granted into my soul for that brief window spent together.

I never really believed in dating. I thought it was too conventional; inorganic, really. I didn’t believe in going out with someone just to “give him a chance.” No. I thought that dating, at least in my sense of the term, should be thoughtless. As in, you should meet someone in the grocery store and, amidst inspecting the tomatoes, he cracks a joke and you both smile. And you never have to question whether or not you want to go on a date with him because by the time he asks, after a series of pleasantries and easy banter, you just know you do. And so you say “yes.” Not only do you say yes, but you look forward to it. You enjoy the time it takes to select your outfit, to turn around in the mirror, and to call your closest friend for wardrobe advice.

I would like to call this ‘The Thoughtless Date”—the one you don’t have to decide whether or not to accept. The one whose sheer possibility fills you with unbridled excitement. Pure. Positive. Energy.

It has been ages since I’ve been on a Thoughtless Date. Worse, it’s been ages since I’ve been excited about someone. In fact, it’s only happened once. And I remember those days well: talking for hours about everything and nothing at the same time; feeling like he could anticipate my next thought. He matched the same principles, mores, and self-righteousness that defined my youth. And yet, he challenged me. In a way that no other peer ever has. He was able to take my best thought to the next level, adding perspective that I had neither considered, nor did I feel I could have conceived of on my own. And that’s where his partnership mattered. He complimented me. He stretched me. He was kind and loving. Protective and fierce. He exemplified, in my mind, the epitome of gentle strength.

He was the only boyfriend I have never had to work with. My mind was on cruise control when I was with him. I never had to work to be polite with him, as I have with many other dates, pretending to listen as they droned on and on about topics about which I didn’t care to hear. With him I did, genuinely, care. What he thought was interesting, I, naturally and of my own accord, also found interesting. With everyone else since him, I have had to politely listen as egomaniacs methodically stroked their own ego, simply wanting an audience to listen through pursed lips and furtive nods. I’ve had to attend events that I, quite frankly, could have died a happier person never having attended. I’ve had to smile politely as potential suitors made references to a future that I, in my own head, knew would never exist.

Yet I have neither seen those qualities nor felt that synergy since, and am left wondering if I ever will. So, after all the years, dates, and coffees in between, I wonder if I will ever again find a man who excites me. A man who, at the sight of his number on my phone, makes me smile like a freshman in college. A man who, upon hearing the sound of his voice on the other line, makes me feel reassured just knowing he’s there.
So I am hereby reinstating the dating embargo. Because when the date doesn’t work out, I inevitably blame myself. ”I should have been more discriminating before hand,” I tell myself, claiming that I could have saved myself the last three excruciating hours of mindless pleasantries and eye-gouging boredom.

Worse, with each underwhelming suitor, I begin to question my own worth. I wonder if he is all I’m worth, or all that I will ever have access to. ”What am I doing,” I ask myself, “to make this underwhelming creature sitting across from me think that we, in some misaligned universe, would ever be compatible? Are there fine men out there who are passing me up? Are they just ‘not that into’ me? Am I not hot enough? Not kind enough? Not smart enough?”

So, to prevent this insecurity build-up, it’s back to the basics for me. Old School. I will no longer go out on dates to be polite, nor will I go on dates because I am lonely and talk myself into “giving the guy a chance.” No. Not again.

Instead, I’m waiting. And no one knows better than me how unsettling it is to wait. You just wait until someone, well . . . “finds you.” And although this may be hard, I fear that the alternative may be worse. Because with each potential suitor to whom I give a small piece of my time, energy, and attention, he inevitably takes a piece of my heart; so that when I meet Mr. Man, I fear I won’t have anything left.

Fantasia Barrino’s had a rough year. She’s attempted suicide; her effort to mend fences with her ex-lover’s estranged wife went awry, now this.

According to reports, Fantasia testified Monday to aborting her unborn child with her lover, Antwaun Cook, around the time she attempted suicide. During the Cooks’ divorce proceedings, Mrs. Cook’s lawyer questioned Barrino about her relationship with Mr. Cook, trying to show that Barrino knew he was married. To prove her assertion, Mrs. Cook’s attorney claimed that Barrino and Cook reserved a hotel room a few days after they met, which according to her, illustrated that Barrino knew he was married. However, Barrino and Cook have continued to claim they were together only after Cook and his wife separated.

On VH1′s Behind the Music, Fantasia said she met Cook when he was separated. “When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home. He didn’t want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told.”

Echoing her sentiments, Mr. Cook’s attorney attempted to absolve Fantasia of any wrongdoing back in August. “Antwaun would be remiss not to address the criticism and judgment he has received,” Nicole Sodoma, Cook’s lawyer said. “He knew Fantasia Barrino but the failure of his marriage can in no way be blamed on anyone except the two people that were a part of the union – Paula and Antwaun.”

Sodomo continued, “[Paula and Antwaun] expected their marriage to stand the test of time. Unfortunately, like many marriages, it did not turn out as planned. In late summer 2009, after years of discussion, the parties separated with the intention of no longer being married.”

Mrs. Cook denies they were separated at the time and blames Fantasia for her marriage’s failure. She is considering suing Fantasia under the Alienation of Affection law, which allows a spouse to sue the person believed to be at fault for the demise of a marriage.

During Behind the Music, Fantasia said she attempted suicide because she just wanted an escape from the drama.

“I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out. At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive]. I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”

Since her suicide attempt, Fantasia has worked hard to get her life back on track. She’s been on the road promoting her album, “Back To Me” and her successful VH1 reality show, “Fantasia For Real.” No matter what happens next, I hope Fantasia is able to move past this latest dramatic episode and continue getting herself together.

The Daily Caller reports on a story that was pushed into the public spotlight a few months ago by none other than Andrew Breitbart. Thanks to his controversial Shirley Sherrod video, bloggers like Zombie started sniffing into the story, and wondered how there could be so many more individual discrimination claims than there are of black farmers in the country.

Despite numerous allegations of fraud, the Senate approved legislation by a voice vote Friday to fund $1.15 billion worth of settlements to black farmers who claim the U.S. Department of Agriculture discriminated against them.

The legislation now makes its way to the House, where Republican Reps. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, Steve King of Iowa, and Bob Goodlatte of Virginia have made it clear that they will be pushing hard to prevent its passage and will be calling for investigations into every claim prior to allowing any payoffs.

***

Sworn testimony before the House Judiciary Committee by the president of the National Black Farmers Association, John Boyd, put the number of black farmers in America at 18,000.

To date, more than 94,000 individuals have filed discrimination claims.

***

King told The Daily Caller that the process by which the money has been allocated is flawed.
“This new settlement, Pigford II, is not a class action lawsuit. This has not been approved by the court. This is something that has been negotiated by Eric Holder, Tom Vilsack and John Boyd,” King said. “They just sat down and made a deal. Congress doesn’t know what they’ve done [by passing it].”

USDA employees and FBI officials estimate that the number of fraudulent claims range from 50 percent to 95 percent.

Bachmann told TheDC that despite all the fuss over discrimination, there has not been one firing, reprimand, censure or fine at the USDA.

“Everything has been hurry, hurry, hurry. We have to funnel the money out the door. Especially when it comes just before the election,” she said. “There was every incentive for individuals to scam the taxpayer and there was no down side because a Democrat controlled Congress failed to look into oversight of the issue.”

Bachmann says the new Republican House will hold hearings and investigate every single claim before it goes out.

Long after the tumultuous election results of November 2 came crashing down around the heads and shoulders of the Democratic Party, the GOP continues to rack up victories. And I'm not talking simply about contested House races being finally called in Republicans' favor. It goes beyond that.

And, in some significant ways, well beyond that. This news comes out of Alabama:

State Rep. Lesley Vance of Phenix City and three other House Democrats switched parties Monday, saying they identified more with Republicans.

“We have been kidded over the years that y’all are more conservative than some of the Republicans,” Vance said.

The moves give the GOP 66 votes in the House, or a super-majority allowing them to pass legislation without support from Democrats.

House Democrats Mike Millican of Hamilton, Steve Hurst of Munford and Alan Boothe of Troy joined Vance to announce the switch at a news conference Monday in Montgomery. The four represent Republican-leaning, mostly white areas.

Vance said he changed because he felt it was the best way to continue serving his constituents. He predicted few in his district will be upset by the “R” beside his name, saying he is known as a conservative regardless of party.

“I have been a Democrat all my life — at least as long as I was old enough to know what politics was about,” he said. [link]

There will be those in New York City and in Los Angeles who will scoff at this news and reject its significance because, as everyone knows, Alabamians are all knuckledraggers who live in a bygone era in an isolated part of America.

"Former Senator Alan Simpson is a Very Serious Person. He must be — after all, President Obama appointed him as co-chairman of a special commission on deficit reduction. So here’s what the very serious Mr. Simpson said on Friday: “I can’t wait for the blood bath in April. ... When debt limit time comes, they’re going to look around and say, ‘What in the hell do we do now? We’ve got guys who will not approve the debt limit extension unless we give ’em a piece of meat, real meat,’” meaning spending cuts. “And boy, the blood bath will be extraordinary,” he continued.

Think of Mr. Simpson’s blood lust as one more piece of evidence that our nation is in much worse shape, much closer to a political breakdown, than most people realize. Some explanation: There’s a legal limit to federal debt, which must be raised periodically if the government keeps running deficits; the limit will be reached again this spring. And since nobody, not even the hawkiest of deficit hawks, thinks the budget can be balanced immediately, the debt limit must be raised to avoid a government shutdown. But Republicans will probably try to blackmail the president into policy concessions by, in effect, holding the government hostage; they’ve done it before.

Now, you might think that the prospect of this kind of standoff, which might deny many Americans essential services, wreak havoc in financial markets and undermine America’s role in the world, would worry all men of good will. But no, Mr. Simpson “can’t wait.” And he’s what passes, these days, for a reasonable Republican. The fact is that one of our two great political parties has made it clear that it has no interest in making America governable, unless it’s doing the governing. And that party now controls one house of Congress, which means that the country will not, in fact, be governable without that party’s cooperation — cooperation that won’t be forthcoming.

Elite opinion has been slow to recognize this reality. Thus on the same day that Mr. Simpson rejoiced in the prospect of chaos, Ben Bernanke, the Federal Reserve chairman, appealed for help in confronting mass unemployment. He asked for “a fiscal program that combines near-term measures to enhance growth with strong, confidence-inducing steps to reduce longer-term structural deficits.”

My immediate thought was, why not ask for a pony, too? After all, the G.O.P. isn’t interested in helping the economy as long as a Democrat is in the White House. Indeed, far from being willing to help Mr. Bernanke’s efforts, Republicans are trying to bully the Fed itself into giving up completely on trying to reduce unemployment.

And on matters fiscal, the G.O.P. program is to do almost exactly the opposite of what Mr. Bernanke called for. On one side, Republicans oppose just about everything that might reduce structural deficits: they demand that the Bush tax cuts be made permanent while demagoguing efforts to limit the rise in Medicare costs, which are essential to any attempts to get the budget under control. On the other, the G.O.P. opposes anything that might help sustain demand in a depressed economy — even aid to small businesses, which the party claims to love.

Right now, in particular, Republicans are blocking an extension of unemployment benefits — an action that will both cause immense hardship and drain purchasing power from an already sputtering economy. But there’s no point appealing to the better angels of their nature; America just doesn’t work that way anymore.

And opposition for the sake of opposition isn’t limited to economic policy. Politics, they used to tell us, stops at the water’s edge — but that was then.These days, national security experts are tearing their hair out over the decision of Senate Republicans to block a desperately needed new strategic arms treaty. And everyone knows that these Republicans oppose the treaty, not because of legitimate objections, but simply because it’s an Obama administration initiative; if sabotaging the president endangers the nation, so be it.

How does this end? Mr. Obama is still talking about bipartisan outreach, and maybe if he caves in sufficiently he can avoid a federal shutdown this spring. But any respite would be only temporary; again, the G.O.P. is just not interested in helping a Democrat govern. My sense is that most Americans still don’t understand this reality. They still imagine that when push comes to shove, our politicians will come together to do what’s necessary. But that was another country. It’s hard to see how this situation is resolved without a major crisis of some kind. Mr. Simpson may or may not get the blood bath he craves this April, but there will be blood sooner or later. And we can only hope that the nation that emerges from that blood bath is still one we recognize.”

Kim Jong-un, the heir to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il, has launched an artillery strike against South Korea that has inflamed tensions between the two peninsular nations and put leaders around the globe on the highest diplomatic and military alert.

The unprovoked attack – which killed a pair of South Korean Marines and wounded at least 14 others – was apparently launched in an effort to mobilize the North Korean military behind the 26-year-old dictator-in-waiting.

In true Adolf Hitler style, Jong-un’s government attempted to place the blame for the incident on South Korea.

North Korea’s statement went on to state that its leaders ”will continue to make merciless military attacks with no hesitation if the South Korean enemy dares to invade our sea territory by 0.001 mm. It is our military’s traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.”

Sheesh … these guys are every bit as dramatic as the friggin’ Iranians.
“The United States strongly condemns this attack and calls on North Korea to halt its belligerent action,” reads a statement from the White House, which commands 25,000 troops currently stationed in South Korea.

Another 50,000 U.S. civilians currently reside in South Korea – most of them in the capitol of Seoul.
Earlier this week Kim Jong-il revealed that North Korea has been operating a modern uranium enrichment facility with at least 1,000 centrifuges. The existence of this facility – right next to an abandoned plutonium reactor – had been widely-suspected, although American intelligence failed to pick up on it.

Single family home sales declined 2% since September but remained a whopping 25.6% below the level seen last year while prices declined 0.75% since September and 0.50% below the level seen in October 2009.

It's important to recognize that the annual pace of sales is far below the lows seen even during the worst months of 2008 and early 2009.

Further, inventory remains high climbing 8.7% above the level seen in October 2009 which, combined with the slow pace of sales, resulted in a large monthly supply of 10.1.

Clearly, all can now see that the government's housing tax credit was not only a gimmick... it was a complete failure, a massively wasteful and expensive handout to the housing industry and a futile and likely very dangerous exercise in market manipulation.

The following charts (click for full-screen dynamic version) shows national existing single family home sales, median home prices, inventory and months of supply since 2005.

Nobel laureate Al Gore said this weekend that tax breaks for corn-based ethanol are ”not good policy” and that he only supported these subsidies in order to assist his eventual run for president.

Reuters Africa reported Monday the former Vice President made these comments while speaking to a green energy conference in Athens.

“It is not a good policy to have these massive subsidies for first generation ethanol,” said Gore. According to the International Energy Industry, such subsidies totaled $7.7 billion last year. Yet Gore now thinks this was a mistake.

“The energy conversion ratios are at best very small. It’s hard once such a program is put in place to deal with the lobbies that keep it going,” he said…

Most Afghan or US officials have never set eyes on Taliban leaders, such as Mullah Omar

An impostor posing as a leading Taliban negotiator held secret talks with Afghan officials, according to the New York Times.

The Afghans thought they were dealing with Mullah Akhtar Mohammed Mansour, a top Taliban commander.
But he was not Mullah Mansour and may not even have been a member of the Taliban, reports the newspaper.

He was paid “a lot of money”, and then disappeared, according to diplomatic sources.

The man in question came from Pakistan – where it is thought the Taliban’s leadership is based – and reportedly had three meetings with government officials.

President Hamid Karzai has said that talks with the Taliban will be essential to ending the nine-year war in Afghanistan.

But diplomatic sources say meaningful negotiations are still some way away.

In many cases the government is not sure who it is dealing with or whether they have the authority to speak on behalf of the Taliban.

Mullah Omar, the Taliban leader, has said consistently he will negotiate with the Afghan government only after all foreign troops have left the country.

Brooklyn – Police say 31-year-old Michael L. Brea held his mother hostage and then hacked her to death with a samurai sword while screaming Bible passages. Neighbors reported hearing yelling and screaming coming from the 2nd floor apartment Brea shares with his mother, 55-year-old Yannick Brea, at around 1:30 a.m. Tuesday. ”I hear the brother chasing her through the house and he’s just saying a bunch of like Bible passages like, ‘Repent, Repent, Repent,’” said one neighbor. “I heard him chasing her through the house and I hear a loud scream and so I have my father call the cops, call 911.” When police arrived they found a very combative Brea who they had to subdue with a Taser. Once inside the bloody apartment, they found his mother in another room. She had been hacked, stabbed and decapitated. Brea, who people say has never showed any signs of mental illness before, was transported to Kings County Hospital where he is under police guard. Brea is a Subway restaurant owner and an aspiring actor who starred in an episode of UGLY BETTY as well as a dancer in STEP UP 3D. Screaming “repent” qualifies as “Bible passages” about as much as playing an extra in an episode of UGLY BETTY makes someone a regular on the show. Most headlines you see about this story make it seem as if Brea was in fact a series regular screaming Bible passages in an obvious — and equally pathetic — attempt to punch up their headlines. Oh, wait.

Former congressman charged with money laundering, conspiracy

AUSTIN, Texas -- Prosecutors in ex-U.S. House majority leader Tom DeLay's money laundering trial made a final pitch to jurors Monday to connect the dots among the mounds of circumstantial evidence and find him guilty.

DeLay's attorneys said prosecutors needed jurors to infer DeLay's guilt because they'd presented no proof the ex-lawmaker committed a crime.

Jurors deliberated for about four hours after closing arguments without reaching a verdict. They will resume their deliberations Tuesday.

They sent several questions Monday to Senior Judge Pat Priest, including a request for clarification on the definition of money laundering. Priest told jurors he would answer their questions about money laundering on Tuesday.

Prosecutors had focused on summarizing the volumes of e-mails and other documents they presented during DeLay's three-week trial in an effort to prove DeLay used his political action committee to illegally channel $190,000 in corporate money into 2002 Texas legislative races through a money swap.

DeLay, a once powerful but polarizing Houston-area congressman, has denied wrongdoing. The Republican is charged with money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. He faces up to life in prison if convicted.

Why is Mitt Romney even in the running, when healthcare played such an important role in the mid-term elections as noted by Rasmussen:

Fifty-nine percent (59%) of those who voted in today’s elections nationwide favor repeal of the national health care bill passed by congressional Democrats in March, including 48% who Strongly Favor it.

Rasmussen Reports telephone surveying nationwide after the polls closed found that 40% are opposed to repeal, with 32% who Strongly Oppose it.

Romney, as most know, is the one-term governor of Massachusetts and the creator of RomneyCare. With two Massachusetts’s miracles for the state, a trifecta may be a tall order when presented on the national stage for the presidency–especially when Republican Senator Scott Brown, also from MA, has some questionable leanings.

But, then again, maybe not.

Quinnipiac released its latest poll showing Romney, ahead of former Governor Mike Huckabee, and edging out President Obama in 2012:

In trial heats for 2012, former Massachusetts Gov. Romney receives 45 percent to 44 percent for Obama, while the president gets 46 percent to 44 percent for Mr. Huckabee. Matched against Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels, a virtual unknown to most voters, the president leads 45 – 36 percent.

Romney and Obama do matchup well, but maybe on the same side of the aisle as Romney is quite RINOish. In addition to their love of government-run healthcare, Obama and Romney do have some other public relations commonality; they play to the ignorance of the people by capitalizing on their popularity.
Democrat Tom Daschle, as seen in this PBS interview, explained Obama’s situation for 2008 the presidential run:

Why the 2008 window for Obama?

I think the window is important for a couple of reasons. One, it was an open opportunity — that is, he wasn’t running against an incumbent; and secondly, because the longer he’s in Washington, the more history he has, and the more history he has, the more he’s going to be explaining his votes and his actions and his statements and his positions that undermine his message. His message is one of change, his message is one of new direction, and it’s harder to do that after you’ve been in Washington for a long time.

Daschle is correct. Romney was elected governor after his popular role as CEO of the Salt Lake City 2002 Olympics, but did not seek a second term as MA governor under the guise that everyone expected him to run for president. But, really, could his dropping approval ratings as governor have played a larger role in that decision not to seek a second term. An incumbent loss would have been a PR disaster for Romney and would have crushed any hope of a presidential run. And Obama, well, we are watching the unraveling of a radical left-wing presidency that continues to govern against the will of the people.

Entering into the 2012 relentless campaign season, both have records on healthcare and the tea partiers are not going to let Romney forget, Obama just got mauled in the mid-terms, but on the other hand will the “general” voting public remember come 2012? Romney’s slick PR campaign, which he can afford, sanitizes his political persona.

Self-righteous and ideological politicians tend to bank their power hopes on the gullibility and short memories of the electorate. Romney’s history on taxes and, well, RomneyCare should immediately disqualify him from the 2012 Republican nod as should his zeal to be president. President Eisenhower once said, “Any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac or crazy.” Those words ring true today, don’t they?

Editor’s Note: The use of a photo of Mitt Romney speaking at Heritage Foundation was deliberate. Conservative activists don’t fully understand the role that Heritage played in passing RomneyCare in Massachusetts. Nor do they understand fully that Heritage was a pioneer of the “individual mandate” provision that was incorporated into Obamacare.

The woman - Velma Hart - was a former committed Obamunist at her wits end and let Obama have it:

Going off the hopeium cold turkey hurts. Turns out, Hart lost the job she had. From The Washington Post:

Velma Hart, who burst onto the media scene after telling President Obama she was scared about her financial future, has been laid off. Hart was let go as the chief financial officer for Am Vets, a nonprofit Maryland-based veteran services organization.

..."It's not anything she did," said Jim King, the national executive director of Am Vets. "She got bit by the same snake that has bit a lot of people. It was a move to cut our bottom line. Most not-for-profits are seeing their money pinched."

...."Velma was a good employee," he said. "It was just a matter of looking at the bottom line and where could we make the best cuts and survive."

In reality she voted for her own employment doom in 2008. Hart and other committed Obamunists had thought Obama to be a god:

On Tuesday Flames were on fire unmanageable and scattering subsequent to a South Korean island was strike by many numerous weaponry ammunition fired by North Korea, as per a witness.

YTN television cited that a witness as expressing that most of the North Korean ammunition had grounded at military foundation on the island. Then the big question is that why has North Korea accomplished this and what does it expect to attain?

This is being observed as still one more effort to lift the ambassadorial bet, spook the financial souks and twist the district into a disagreement region. The hope for Pyongyang, that the US, South Korea and its associates will shake off their impudence and consent to a recommencement of the Six Party discussion, along with North Korea entering to the table through a location of superior power. Not at the instant.

North Korea, backed by China, has expressed that it wishes to respond slowed down Six Party discussions, on the other hand in cooperation Washington and Seoul have said it obvious that discussions cannot start if not and in anticipation of North Korea depicts it is grave regarding giving up its nuclear ability.

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