(Closed) Guest List help (LONG)

Hi guys. I’m new here. I’ve been following Wedding bee and reading the boards for awhile, but this is my first post.

My problem is my future in-laws guest list. Let me give you guys some background on our wedding and our families. My parents are paying for the majority of our wedding. My Fiance and I are paying for some and his parents offered us a couple thousand dollars. Fiance and I both come from big extended families. I am very close to most of my family and Fiance is not very close to his. My guest list for family alone is 100 people. Thankfully, my mom already knew from the beginning of wedding planning that although we would like to, we can’t invite our whole family and some of our family friends. I’ve asked Fiance to only invite people we know and love. We don’t need to invite people just because their family. Example, I have a cousin getting married this June. They have invited us to their wedding, but I don’t plan on inviting them to our wedding. Fiance came up with a guest list of his family, friends, and a few co-workers. That list is already slightly over 100 people. His parents gave him a list of 50 people they want to invite. Some are family members that Fiance forgot about because he never sees them and some are his parents friends. Some of these are people he’s never even met before. I’ve tried talking to him about the guest list numbers. I’d like to keep our guest list to 210 or less. I don’t want to invite people neither one of us have ever even met. I’d feel bad that we’re cutting some of my parents family from our guest list that I actually know, but inviting people that FI’s parents want to invite (people we’ve never met). Especially since my parents are paying for over 70% of our wedding. If Fiance doesn’t get his parents to cut their list, they’ll be inviting more guests than my side. How can I get him to understand where I’m coming from?

Give you and your Fiance power to decide on the top 100, then give each set of parents 50 people that must be invited which can be friends or family. Tell them the venue will not accommodate any more than that. I would also have them set up a ranked B list of people they would like to invite if there is room after the RSVPs come back.

If his parents are not paying for the wedding they do not get final say in who is invited. Period. You can invite some of their family out of courtesy, but ultimately it is up to you and your Fiance who is invited. My only suggestion is maybe keep the rules uniform across the board so that no one can get offended. Example: If you are deciding not to invite kids under 16, then kids under 16 on your side of the family shouldn’t be allowed either. We are making the rule that no one that doesn’t know us as a couple isn’t invited. That includes extended family.