Warriors director of team operations Eric Housen has a big job, behind the scenes, keeping Golden State’s basketball operation running smoothly. Lots of good stuff about Housen’s role in this New York Times story, read it for yourself, yes, yes, BRING ME THE STORY OF KEVIN DURANT FLEEING DEMARCUS COUSINS IN TERROR:

The Warriors’ Kevin Durant and the Pelicans’ DeMarcus Cousins had just been ejected for saying some tough things to each other, and Housen heard a commotion coming from the hallway outside the locker room. He went to investigate.

In his endless quest to prevent various calamities from befalling the N.B.A.’s most glamorous collection of stars, Housen left the locker room on Monday to find that Cousins was storming down the hallway in search of Durant, who was making his way off the court after his ejection and toward the locker room. Security officers, aware that trouble was brewing, quickly diverted Durant to a small corridor as several others slowed Cousins’s progress.

“Shut the door! Shut the door!” the officers shouted at one another up and down the hallway.

Yes. YES. Please join me in delighting in the mental image of preening shitheel Kevin Durant hiding in a side corridor behind a cluster of panicking security officers as gigantic, fuming DeMarcus Cousins stalks the guts of Smoothie King Center, out for blood.

I would watch 24 consecutive hours of security camera footage of a red-hot Boogie chasing a terrified Durant around in the narrow, dismal passages of an NBA arena. Call it It Follows 2 and I will pay to see it in theaters.