5.11.2008

I have a dilemma. Should I really review records on this blog? Does anyone really care what I think about music? Here's why you shouldn't: I go through music phases faster than haircuts, I'm am not a record collector nerd sweating that my copy isn't first press, I'm not blowing my load on obscure ebay.uk bidding wars, I'm not a walking encyclopedia of who did what when where and what instrument they played, and most importantly, I don't care about any of that shit. I don't give a fuck even enough to Google it.

I buy new records because I like listening to bands that I can actually go see. Sometimes I buy records because the cover art is epic. I buy new records because I want my friend's band or label to keep making them. I buy new records all the time because I quit smoking and have an extra twenty dollars a week of expendable income. I'm not a seasoned reviewer, I just love music and I find myself talking about it all the time. I might as well take a shot at hyping some shit I think is worthy to check out.

So for my first required Monday post, I'll start a theme of reviewing what I picked up the week before.

Cheap Time - "S/T" LP (In The Red Records)I loved their Handyman EP, so I was totally stoked when this got here. Most of the songs are fun and poppy. Others take on a slightly moodier tone, and I dig those ones more. It's got a retro production, and the mix is rough in contrast to the cutesy vocals and goofy guitar riffs. You hear and see the Hubble Bubble influence, although those dudes sounded much tougher than these guys. I hear Jeff Novak's vocals and imagine this bright yellow cartoon lemon singing. I may need to be stoned. Some people live and breathe this shit, but I have to be in the mood. When I am, it's a great album to listen to.

The Ladies - "Ugly's Good Enough Tonight" EP (Riff Raff Records)This short 7" may be their entire set list. Remember when the Dwarves were awesome? Blood Guts and Pussy Awesome? It's like that but instead of popping speed these girls are speed balling. More trash in the guitars and sleazy lyrics, enough for the "garage punk" tag to be thrown at them.... do it live and Tony Bitch will throw it back in your face, spit beer on you and possibly piss on your little sister. A-side has 3 songs listed but they're all similar, the best one comes last... "You ain't good looking but you'll do alright, yeah, ugly's good enough tonight." B-Side is like the A-side except even shorter. I know I talked just shit about record collector nerds, but white vinyl is pretty sexy. Good record, get it, and go see them because they are better live.

Golden Error - 12" EP (Shandi Records)No idea of what to expect.. pleasantly surprised. This band's sound reminds me of a video game when your health gets low. Guitar sounds very electro. Let's dance, bitch. I envision sweaty basements full of grown up punks and hipsters sipping caped cods, rhythmic head nodding, foot tapping. Or maybe it's absolute mayhem, I dunno, I haven't seen them live yet, could go either way. I thought there was a keyboard until I checked the credits. Things get a little dissonant at times. The lyrics are nerdy as fuck and must be pretty personal, or acid influenced cause I don't get it. Vocal delivery is urgent and believable. I can put this on and zone out. Into it.

The Darvocets - "Are New Wave" LP (Fashionable Idiots Records)Now this is getting interesting. Eccentric wacked out punk rock coming out of Cleveland. Paranoid vocals rambling in a mess of warm machine gun riffs, slower drugged out progressions, and to kick off the B-Side, an A Cappella rant called Anti-Gravity Craft. It never fails to crack me up. I wish I could have seen them record this. Very happy they put in a lyric sheet since every song is sci-fi ingenuity. They've been a band for many years but no one cared until now; I was told the first press of 1000 copies sold out in 24 hours. They may be playing Baltimore this year, cross your fingers. Some people won't be able to get into this.