I was born when my mom and my dad were together. When I was about six months old, due to being dressed inadequately, I contracted pneumonia. DSS took me away from my mom and I was placed into foster care. While I was in foster care, I was closeted because that was safest and I thought that I would get adopted faster. But because I am black, the white foster kids tended to get picked over me.

After a few years, my grandmother was able to adopt my sister and me. I had other siblings who remained in foster care much longer than I did. Every child deserves to have a family and something as arbitrary as race or the sexual orientation of that kid should not stand in the way. Because I was black, I stayed in foster care longer, as did my siblings. We didn’t have the resources we needed for our skin and hair. We had different needs that weren’t tended to. That’s a way that discriminatory child services hurt and further stigmatize foster kids of color and even more those who identify as queer.

By allowing this discrimination to happen, people are actually on the opposite side of the majority of Americans. In fact, most Americans oppose discrimination by adoption and foster agencies. I have a trans brother who loves me and takes care of me as his own. I have moms who love me dearly and we are both invested in repairing our relationship. Family doesn’t have to be blood. All we need is a little love and patience. Families don’t have to be perfect. My loving family is my American Dream come true.

I have had to fight to make people believe that my parents didn’t make me queer. I have started to find support groups to talk through this with others who get it.