Junior latte louts

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Do children belong in restaurants? Yes - if they are
well-behaved, writes Clare Kermond.

I'm in my favourite cafe. My caffe latte has arrived,
exactly the way I like it, a wedge of wonderfully wicked cake is on
its way and I am about to enjoy a rare uninterrupted half-hour with
a good friend. In seconds my peace is shattered as three small
children begin to tear around the cafe, skidding on the polished
floors and banging heartily on the windows.

Kids will be kids, and at first no one raises an eyebrow as the
three terrors romp around the open space near the front door. But,
after 15 minutes of this and with no parents in sight to quell the
noise, one table walks out tut-tutting and several other diners
stare openly at the kids, looking around for someone to do
something.

Mini-monsters in our cafes and restaurants: talk to most waiters
or chefs and they have their horror stories. Peter Zorzi recalls
the time a child went behind the counter at his Moonee Ponds cafe,
Holy Cannoli, and swung on the power cord attached to the large
focaccia griller. A veteran Melbourne restaurateur (who asked not
to be named) won't easily forget the time two young children amused
themselves by flicking food at each other while the parents
studiously looked away.

What is going on in our restaurants? Have parents started
letting their young ones run wild? A straw poll of food writers and
others who eat out often suggests it's the minority of parents who
are ruining things for others. But the number of offenders is
growing and the challenge for restaurant owners and staff is huge.
After all, it's a tricky matter to discipline someone else's
child.

When parents turn a blind eye to children whose behaviour is
spoiling the moment for others, restaurants don't have many
options. A few have resorted to politely worded notes on their
menus. Sails restaurant, in Queensland's Noosa Heads, asks,
"Parents, in consideration of other diners, children should be
seated whilst in the restaurant. Please comfort crying children
outside".

Down on Victoria's west coast, at Apollo Bay, Taki Talihmanidis
says the worst part of his job is having to speak to parents when
other diners or staff complain about children's behaviour.
Talihmanidis, of Chris' Restaurant, says kids behaving badly are
the exception, but there are enough for it to be a problem.

"I have kids in here that are so well behaved, but it all comes
down to the parents. If kids are going to disturb other diners,
it's not on. And when you've got a waitress carrying two plates and
a dish that's straight out of the oven ... my biggest fear is a
little kid getting hurt."

Not all parents respond well to being asked to curb their
children's behaviour. Peter Zorzi says he has had to tell several
parents that it is dangerous for their children to be behind the
cafe's counter, where hot food is being prepared and knives
wielded, only to have them take offence.

"We've tried to be subtle with signs saying 'staff only behind
the counter'. If you put up a sign mentioning children, a lot of
people will be upset, but the way it's going I dare say we'll have
to."

Zorzi is adamant that the problem of misbehaving children - or
parents not supervising their children - is growing.

Sally Webb, a Sydney journalist and restaurant reviewer, knows
first-hand how sensitive the question of children in restaurants
can be. After Webb wrote about her (generally positive) experience
of taking her baby to several restaurants, the paper received many
letters. The most extreme, which Webb describes as "low-key hate
mail", apparently came from someone working in the restaurant
industry, still bearing battle scars from misbehaving children.

While her eating-out experiences with son Archie have been
mostly stress-free, Webb has observed some parents who seem to
expect the rest of the dining public to put up with anything and
everything from their children.

"There are definitely parents who just think it's their right to
take their appallingly behaved children out," she says.

In further proof that kids and eating out is a super-sensitive
issue, The Age received a huge response late last year
after publishing an article in which journalist Suzy Freeman-Greene
argued that there were two Melbournes: one where parents and babies
are welcomed, and the other where they are ignored or treated with
hostility.

Readers responding to Freeman-Greene's argument were up in arms.
One person wrote: "I am sick and tired of parents who feel that
their little precious bundles of joy are cute when they run around
and scream at the top of their lungs or throw food. And ... it's
not just those who have no children who find this offensive. A lot
of other parents also do not like to see other people's children
running around a restaurant - especially when they have taken the
trouble to make alternative arrangements for their own kids."

On the other hand, a reader who came down on Freeman-Greene's
side wrote: "The treatment of young children is just one more
manifestation of the mean, fearful, selfish nation we have
become."

Wendy Jones, chief executive officer of Restaurant and Catering
Victoria, has had a handful of complaints from members over recent
months about parents letting children run wild. One restaurant
owner who recently asked a parent to keep a check on children's
behaviour received a vitriolic letter in response, threatening to
report them to every authority with even the slimmest of
connections to the restaurant industry.

Critics and consumers have many theories about why the problem
of wild children at the table is becoming worse. Several suggested
that with many people having children later in life, they may be
well set in their cafe-going ways before the little ones arrive and
less willing to compromise. They may also have more money to spend
on eating out.

But badly behaved kids are in the minority. And many in the
Melbourne restaurant game want to see the well-behaved majority at
their tables. Restaurateurs at all levels often welcome children,
seeing eating out as an important part of the battle to encourage
them to eat real food, not junk.

Geoff Lindsay, of Richmond's Pearl, would like to see more
children eating out. Lindsay says that, given Pearl's price range
and the need to book ahead, the diners most likely to bring
children are those who know they will behave well and enjoy the
experience.

Stephanie Alexander is a vocal campaigner for encouraging
children to eat good, fresh food, and loves seeing children in the
Richmond Hill Cafe and Larder. Alexander says she would never have
a children's menu and believes getting children used to eating good
food is great training for them and a responsibility for the
industry.

But if restaurants are struggling to politely word up parents on
how their little ones should behave when they're out, what should
parents be doing to ensure our restaurants and cafes don't become
more Play School than pleasure?

Several restaurateurs pointed out that few people call ahead to
say they are bringing children or babies, which would be a big help
when planning seating, especially if there are big prams
involved.

Penny Attiwill, publisher of The Nappy Bag Book, says
she sympathises with parents who want to get out with their kids,
and enjoys eating out with her own young family. But, she says, it
would be foolhardy to go back to your favourite haunts from your
pre-children days and expect the experience to be the same.

Attiwill, who has children aged eight and four, suggests parents
phone ahead to let the restaurant know they will be bringing
children and dine early. "We try to take along crayons or a book
... and we don't go to the smartest restaurants."

Likewise, Age Good Food Guide 2006 editor Roslyn Grundy
suggests choosing your restaurant carefully, eating early and
bringing something to keep the kids quietly entertained. Grundy is
adamant that restaurants have an obligation to accept children but
says some parents may need tips on how to entertain them when
eating out.

It seems that, with a little compromise on both sides, parents
and restaurateurs may be able to work together to make our eateries
safe for diners of all ages.