Dr. Linda Clever has developed a do-it-yourself tool kit with The Fatigue Prescription, based on years of medical practice, life experience, and the success of RENEW. Filled with easy self-assessments, informational charts, and sound advice from a physician who healed herself, this book will help you avoid illness, reset priorities, and most importantly, regain your health and happiness.

Are you living your to-do list rather than living your life? Many of us run from task to task and are burning the nearly non-existent candle at both ends. We are sleep-deprived, overworked, overwhelmed, and undernourished in body and soul. We slam energy drinks, gnaw energy bars, and constantly drink caffeine to keep going as our adrenal glands struggle to keep up. Most of us are one health crisis away from financial devastation—and yet, we are hurtling towards physical breakdown each over-scheduled day. Our lives demand too much of us; when everything is a priority, this can make us sick and tired. Dr. Clever discovered the personal cost of this lifestyle and has since devoted herself to helping people renew themselves and regain balance in life.

EXCERPT

How Did You Get So Busy? How Did You Get So Tired?

"I arise...torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
—E.B. White

No wonder you’re tired! You have wants and needs. You want to get a lot done and you want to do it well. Your family and friends need and expect your attention. So does your checkbook. You also have plenty of shoulds and ought tos. You should be an informed voter. You ought to get some exercise. And for goodness sake, you want to see a good movie sometime soon! In your rare quiet times, you realize that you want to be better than busy. You want some time to think and plan. You want some peace and quiet without feeling guilty and selfish.

This book puts your closest buddy—you—into the driver’s seat, moving out of the rat race and into fatigue-free good health.

How? In medicine, we try to determine the cause of the symptoms—the diagnosis—and then we can design the appropriate treatment: the remedy. That is what I hope this book does for you.

In this chapter, you and I will sort out the whys and wherefores—some of the reasons you have accumulated so many demands and commitments, what these relentless responsibilities are, and what they may be doing to you. You’ll give your energy bucket the once-over and come up with a couple of favors you can do for yourself. After discussing two important qualities—courage and pride—the chapter wraps up with a preview of the Fatigue Prescription and its four steps.

Later in Part One, since this is the diagnosis section, you’ll do your own checkup and see the Prescription’s benefits. Soon you’ll be well positioned to launch into the remedy. Part Two, The Renewing Remedy, uses the Prescription’s four steps to help you reconnect with your values and discover what you really want and how to get it. You’ll see how others have renewed their bodies, spirits, and energy. You will get some quick tips and ideas for long-term maintenance.

Why all this emphasis on you? Because you are important! And it is not selfish to take care of yourself. It is self-preservation so you can do what you want to do or must do. You are the one who can best take care of yourself. No one else can do it as well, and no one else cares about you as much.

By way of example, and to help you start understanding the challenges you may face and the way you may approach them—and why—let me tell you about a young musician. She was trying to make a living by patching together jobs as a church choir director, a high-school rehearsal accompanist, a greeting card designer, and a piano teacher—all while she was thinking about a new career, hunting for a full-time job, dealing with family demands, and dating an interesting guy. One day she came home to find her low-rent apartment flooded with sewage. The manager said he would fix the drainage system, but when the apartment flooded for a second time, her spirits hit bottom. She was angry, and she felt betrayed. She caught a cold, snapped at her friends and students, and cried. Anybody would! She was stuck, however, with no money, a tight schedule, and lots of distractions. She was determined to fix the problem but didn’t want to add a disruptive move to her situation. So she enlisted her father’s help. He checked the plumbing and made firm recommendations to the manager. She persuaded the manager to pay for the cleanup so she wouldn’t have to call the health department. When the dust and goo settled, she had an after-the-flood-get-together. Her grit and network got her through.

Where do you get your grit, and how do you develop your network? What about your drive, even your tastes and preferences? How did you get so much on your plate that you got exhausted and, perhaps worse, stale? Nature, nurture, combinations, circum- stances? All of these, most likely.

INCLINATIONS YOU ARE BORN WITH: YOUR INHERITANCE

Parents notice differences in behavior between identical twins on day one—sometimes even in utero! One sucks a thumb while the other does somersaults. Twins or not, birth order and gender alone don’t explain why an older brother is placid and the younger sister is zippy. Although it is true that the intrauterine environment and mother’s hormones play some part, siblings’ very own genetic makeup, the way that chemicals spiral in their DNA, makes a powerful difference.

The reasons why you like strawberry and she likes butterscotch, why one runs fast and another is better on the balance beam, why somebody prefers mysteries and someone else biographies, are mainly innate. Personality traits are affected by rewards and punishments—high grades for being thorough, time-outs for punching another kid in day care—yet we all start with our own basic tendencies.

Those of us who are super busy may choose to be that way for a number of reasons. You may load your schedule because you want approval or to please others. You may set very high standards for yourself. You may want to win or to set a record. Any of these can lead to saying yes to so many requests that your to-do list is long enough to tie into bows. You may be running away. (A fellow told me not long ago, “I’d rather work overtime than deal with my teenager.”)

A tendency to overload to the point of fatigue may be part of your inherited package; it may run in your family, just like hair color does. This may seem inconsequential, but it isn’t. Fatigue can drain your enthusiasm and effectiveness, and if you’ve inherited a legacy of fatigue, you could be in a hole from the start. Of course, your inherited traits aren’t the whole story. Plenty of external influences affect you as well.

GROWING UP

I could discuss an array of ways that your personality and biochemistry—such as fatigue and hair color— may be trumped or amplified by your habits and surroundings. For example, a good diet and sufficient exercise can help thwart hereditary heart troubles. If your environment isn’t conducive to addictive behavior, even if you are prone to addiction, you may have no problem. Depression, which is traceable through generations, may not surface if misfortunes don’t strike or if you develop ways to cope. So, too, can fatigue be managed. Although genes can make you more susceptible to fatigue, prevention helps. Which is why you’re reading this book!

Expectations are another set of external forces that can push you to cram your calendar. In my view, expectations are, at best, double-edged swords. There is no question that having deadlines and goals is good for motivation. They get your juices flowing, set your eyes on the prize, move you ahead. But the problem comes when you don’t set your own expectations, when someone else sets your expectations for you. Who defines what a person’s “success” in life will be? I once heard a conversation between two men, both professionals, on that subject. One said that his definition of success was being a CEO. The other said it was “being able to talk to my daughter.” Who or what shaped those opinions? Think about it: Who picked which music lessons you took? Which instrument—piano, drums, or ocarina? Which style—jazz, country, or classical? Who had what hopes about what you would accomplish? Are you a neatnik or do you collect dust bunnies? Who decides when it’s time to clean your room? Do you watch sports or play sports? Which ones? Who says?

One of the biggest expectations set for you by others can be your choice of work or profession. How many stories have you heard—or lived—about people who followed their parents’ desires rather than their own? This could push you into the family restaurant or auto repair business, or could send you on the path to being a lawyer or a politician. It’s one thing when you have an epiphany, an aha! or a calling. In that case, you eagerly channel your energy and intentions in a certain direction because they represent your own desires. But it’s another matter when you are walking in anothers’ shoes because someone expects you to do so. Those shoes can be hard to fill, and are often harder to lift with each step. That is exhausting!

I admire my cousin, Steve Hawes, for many reasons, not only because he had a ten-year career in the NBA. His son Ellis is about Steve’s height and has become a great guitar player. Ellis never had much more than a flicker of interest in basketball, the sport his dad mastered. Thankfully, Steve and Ebs, Ellis’ mother, didn’t pressure him to become a basketball player. Ellis was drawn in another direction and lives according to his own expectations. His parents are fine with his choice.

Sometimes, the expectations can be a folie à deux, a condition in which the symptom or delusion of one person is transferred to another. I recall a physician whose physician father had an unerring instinct that he applied to diagnostic challenges. The younger doctor admired that skill enormously, and his father wanted him to be his partner in practice. The young man plodded through medical school and residency, doing well enough. It took several years for both men to realize that the younger doctor’s interests were in administration, not clinical practice. He now uses his background and his passion at the helm of a leading hospital.

YOUR ENERGY BUCKET

Let’s face it. You have a lot to do. You are magnetic. You take on countless pleasures and obligations that mesh with your genetic inclinations and upbringing. This adds up to having a lot on your mind that can deplete your energy.

Here are some items that people across the country report are on their minds and that require mental energy. Part of dealing with fatigue is recognizing what’s out there—or in there—taking up space in your mind. Look over the list and circle your own stuff that is weighing on you.

STUFF ON MY MIND

Work
Coworkers
Family
Two jobs
The economy
Lovers
Kids
My expectations of me versus others’ expectations of me
Commute
Child going into the Marines
Money
Having fun
Friends
Making time for myself
Sleep
School
Hobbies
My wife’s parents and my father are both sick and live far from us
Housekeeping
My health—mental and physical
Professional organizations
Politics
House guests
Learning something new
Deadlines
Education
...plus my other stuff

To add to things that are already on your mind, you may be cruising along, eyes bright, wind in your hair, exhilarated with your feats, when BOOM, more stuff happens. Small episodes can derail you. Think about a fender bender, a head cold, or my friend’s sewage episodes. Your body could let you down with illness, injury, or nutritional and hormonal insufficiencies. A divorce or death, losing an election, a job, or sleep, even much-anticipated retirement can deplete your energy. Your usual support systems and feelings of capability evaporate into uncertainty. To top it all off, unsettling events tend to cluster. My mother used to say, “Sometimes you have a bad year.” You have good ones, too, but may not notice that. At any rate, fatigue can become a companion when circumstances gang up.

When bad things happen to good, busy people, your body, emotions, memory, relationships, and work feel it. A while back, I asked a group of new medical students about their feelings when pressures build up and they get tired. It took no time at all for them to come up with this list:

Diana Arsham, a psychologist and a walking buddy of mine, points out that each of us has an energy bucket:

You may start out with your bucket quite full or mostly empty, depending upon your inheritance, experiences, and situations. But regardless of where the level starts, it is important to check it on a regular basis, especially when demands are high. There are many things that could cause your energy bucket to leak: health, duties, arguments, expectations, and so forth. The idea is to:

• Determine where the holes are
• Plug them with “corks”
• Add new energy

The “corks” that plug the holes may include going to the doctor, getting counseling, or recruiting help with your household chores. You might say “No” more often, send out for more Chinese food, or make a tough decision and stick with it. The new energy may come in many forms as well. Short boosts could come from going for a walk, writing in a journal, or taking a power nap with the office door shut. You might sing (just about anywhere), play with a child, play catch with Rover, or talk to a friend on the phone. Longer-term fixes may stem from adjusting schedules, attitudes, or interactions, or curbing those late nights on weekdays—or weekends.

It is useful to know what does it every time for you, what always lifts you up. So take a deep breath, let your shoulders relax from up around your ears, and make a list right on this page:

LITTLE PLEASURES THAT KEEP ME GOING (THINGS THAT HELP ME EVERY TIME):

Since you are thinking about energy bucket maintenance, take this chance to look at some routine ways to keep your level high. The following chart offers some food for thought. All of these activities take some time. That’s okay! You can make the time. You might want to add other pursuits that are important to you and adapt the chart to fit your preferred timing. Renewing your energy bucket, just like exercise, needs to be a regular part of your life, not a sporadic add-on or an emergency “must.”