Sunday, June 27, 2010

Oh my! Oh wow! Well done, even though she wasn’t voted in I still thought that I would be reading lots of ‘well done to the women’s movement’ type info around the traps and whilst I have seen some, sadly I keep seeing a lot of how horrid this choice is for men, for women, for our country!

More importantly for the men that are supposed to lead us! For the men that we are supposed to follow!

These statements sadden me greatly.

Follow? What ever happened to being a free thinking, choice making human being in our own right? Sometimes I need to remind myself that we do live in the year 2010 and that the majority of women are no longer oppressed by men (granted that many still are).

I’m not necessarily a huge feminist movement activist but I do admire women for leading the way, paving the way for future generations to have the freedom of their convictions. To do with their lives as they choose, not what is expected of them!

Whilst I don’t agree in the ‘women can have it all mentality’ because, in my opinion, women having it all is, in a lot of cases at the detriment to their children’s welfare, even though many of those women refuse to see it that way. Although this is a topic best left to a later discussion.

Why are we not encouraging free thought in our children? Why do we not want them to ask questions? To grow up to be who they want to be as opposed to ‘who’ they ‘should’ be or their parents would prefer they be.

I wonder if one of the reasons we have so many unhappy adults in society today just might possibly be due to their ‘well meaning’ parents choosing their path for them. Choosing what they read, choosing what they believe, choosing their friends, their schooling and the list goes on.

Whilst I’m very much a mother that chooses to discuss openly with my children many of the choices they have in life and not just allow them to make choices alone; after all they are still children and I strongly believe that they need ‘some’ guidance. I am not afraid to let them know what I think is a wise choice and a not so wise one and why. But ultimately it is still their choice. I might not like every choice they make and often they have learnt that after a choice has been made they don’t either, which is why they can always change their minds on a lot of things.

If children never have the opportunity of choice, good, bad or otherwise in the safe haven of a loving home environment how will they ever be able to make choices (especially the more difficult ones) as adults. In fact many adults suffer from the inability to make choices, could this possibly stem from childhood?

I know some will say well isn’t free choice just like letting your children eat lollies all day and really it might possibly be like that if you always had lollies in the home so that they could access them all day. But I am getting off the beaten track.

Why do we not value the strengths and the weaknesses in both sexes? Not all women want to grow up to be mothers. That needs to be ok, in fact I think Mother Nature would thank those women for making such a bold choice, to go against the grain of society, to choose to not bring another human being into the world, with our awfully bad habits of slowly destroying our planet.

I’d be kidding myself if I said that I would be completely 100% happy if I never experienced life with grandchildren. But that will never be my choice to make, it has never been any potential grandparents’ choice to make and never will be.

When will we realise that just because we have been raised in a certain way. To believe certain things about life, it doesn’t make it ok to continue to pass those beliefs on to future generations. Why do we do that? I think for most it is fear, fear that what we have grown up to believe just might not be what everyone else believes. We are then forced to take a long hard look at our lives and why we are the way we are and many adults simply do not want to do that. Even if on the surface we don’t realise that the fear exists or that we wholeheartedly believe that we are doing the right thing by our children.

To discuss, to ponder, to wonder those are all the many things that we can experience and should experience with the loving guidance of our parents. To freely and openly look at both sides of any argument is something most of us need to learn as adults, when really it should come naturally if you are afforded this luxury as a child. To understand that it is ok to think differently from others and just because one does think differently doesn’t make ones thoughts right or wrong.

1 comments:

This was a great post, and I agree with you that children need to be free to make their choices. Also I like to think of myself as a feminist, though not in the more extreme way. I love the rights I have as a woman, and I love that I have a choice of what I want to do in my life. Mona Lisa Smile covered that really well. Sometimes you choose to be a housewife, and that is fine. What's really beautiful is that you have the right to choose.

Though as much as I'd like to say I'll give my daughter the choice on grandchildren, I think I'll probably push for some. Of course I won't mind if she chooses to adopt, I think that is also a wonderful option.