Reminds me of an escapade I had serving in Oman years ago....I got back from a patrol, parked up the Land Rover and found the rest of my bone-idle unit gorging themselves on bacon sandwiches. Asking where they got the bacon from in this God-forsaken place, I was told there was a bacon tree just outside the nearest village. Suspicious but hungry, I got back in the Land Rover and headed out to investigate, As I approached the village, there was indeed a small tree festooned with packets of what looked like bacon. My stomach rumbling, I drove towards this wonderful sight.

Just then, mortar rounds and machine gun fire erupted all around me and I had to beat a hasty retreat. Turns out it wasn't bacon tree after all...it was a ham bush.

Originally posted by Low_Flyer_MkIX:
Reminds me of an escapade I had serving in Oman years ago....I got back from a patrol, parked up the Land Rover and found the rest of my bone-idle unit gorging themselves on bacon sandwiches. Asking where they got the bacon from in this God-forsaken place, I was told there was a bacon tree just outside the nearest village. Suspicious but hungry, I got back in the Land Rover and headed out to investigate, As I approached the village, there was indeed a small tree festooned with packets of what looked like bacon. My stomach rumbling, I drove towards this wonderful sight.

Just then, mortar rounds and machine gun fire erupted all around me and I had to beat a hasty retreat. Turns out it wasn't bacon tree after all...it was a ham bush.

"All right 59930, you are up on a gross silliness charge, 3 triple O zed. What do you have to say for yourself?---not that it will matter a damn...."

Reminds me of the time my nieghbor was gunned down.
An old woman living alone, (story goes) she was lighting candles in her living room when she accidently caught her shirt sleave on fire. In a panic to put out the fire she ran out the front door of her house, and then she ran down the middle of the street, waving her blazing shirt sleave and yelling for help.
At that time a police officer was passing by. When he saw her he stopped his car, got out, drew his service revolver and shot her dead on the spot. His reason was that she was brandishing a fire arm.