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Remember in the early nineties when Mattel released a talking Barbie who whined that math class was tough? And there was a huge outrage and the phrase was pulled from the doll’s repertoire? Judging from the complete and total mayhem that ensued at the Barbie show this afternoon, it seems that, in fact, Barbie CAN’T count and that math IS hard for her.

You’d think that it would be pretty easy to figure out how many seats are in the tent and then let in the corresponding amount of people. Instead, it appeared that almost everyone attending the show was allowed to bring their child, another guest, or some random they picked up off the street (the e-mail sent out to invited guests, in fact, suggested they bring “a neice [sic]”), which meant that the lobby at Bryant Park was packed to the gills with irritated people trying to get into the show and having absolutely no luck at all. It was like Heatherette, but with more screaming children.

This did not put people in a forgiving mood toward Barbie. More than once, we heard a frustrated journalist huff, “It’s JUST BARBIE,” or express the opinion that they didn’t even know the point of the show. The children, on the other hand, generally looked terrified that they were going to be crushed. Even the usually unflappable Robbie Myers, with her daughter in tow, looked mildly concerned that the mêlée would turn ugly. Robbie, however, was safely ushered inside. As for the rest of us, at least a hundred were told that, if we had a seat, it had been “given away.” You’d think Barbie would be polite enough not to just start giving away other people’s things, but it seems that manners  like math  are not her strong suit.