Logar was living in the same home she had been living in when she was a teen. She had never gotten married, so her name was the same.

Bill Polhemus’ high school senior picture

When she called her birth mother, Silbert learned that Logar had just notarized paperwork to begin the process to find her daughter.

“They were both looking at the same time,” Bailey said. “They did find each other.”

Silbert said she was ecstatic to speak with her mother, an effervescent and loving woman.

Logar told her daughter about her obsession with Elvis Presley. She had an impressive collection of Elvis memorabilia. She loved to sing at karaoke bars and her dream was to go to Nashville and become a country star.

She also was very spiritual and compassionate. She was well-versed in the Bible and joined Marilyn Hickey Ministries as a “prayer warrior,” calling people on the phone undergoing tough times in their lives — such as arrests or unemployment — and praying with them.

She was known for giving away bookmarks, cards or candy “just to brighten someone’s day,” according to a ministry newsletter.

Neighbors said Logar would take Easter baskets to neighbors and play music on her baby-grand piano.

Silbert and Logar began mailing pictures of family members back and forth.

“We decided to start seeing each other,” Silbert said.

She said she asked her mother about her father but was more interested in meeting her than him.

Logar wrote a lengthy letter in which she mentioned that her boyfriend, whom she had not seen since the late 1980s, had a troubled background but was a good man.

Before I started searching for my birth parents someone told me a story I’ll never forget, and it went along the lines of ‘be careful what you wish for’. It was that a woman found her birth mother, and tried to communicate with her. The child was ‘over the moon’ about this discovery, and assumed all these wonderful things and relationships would follow. Turns out the birth mother was a semi-famous country singer, and her response was: “I didn’t want you then…and I don’t want you now”. The child was kicked in the teeth twice by the birth mother, and the second one was a doozy. Who knows how or if the child recovered…and with how many scars? Not all discoveries are these tearful, joyous ‘made for TV’ reunions you see on The Locator or Dr. Phil. I too started my search after my son was born in ’92. My reunion with my birth father was ok: I was able to draw some lines to familial depression/bi-polar issues, and found a full brother, full sister and a half-sister which was a bonus I hadn’t expected. The three full siblings were all born in Denver (though the two younger ones were raised in Illinois)…and had the same middle name. I wrestled for years trying to make sense of how they gave the first one up (me), then reunited four years later to have two more kids…and they kept them. I got to know him somewhat and glad I did because he passed away within two years. I never received answers about how these deals went down. I’m grateful I learned something from that earlier story and prepared myself for whatever wild emotional swing might occur…because when found, my birth mother didn’t want to meet me, and never did as she died three years later. I was her worst nightmare coming back to haunt her in her carefully crafted denial: how dare I? My sister was at her death bed and asked her if she had anything to relate to the family, and she just said ‘nope’. Punch in the gut #2. Comparing birth certificates we’re pretty sure there are two more of us out there somewhere that we will probably never know about, as the one that would know for sure has passed…and she wasn’t talking anyway. The older I get the less this whole situation is on my mind and I accept it as it is now…which was a lot harder to do when I was younger. I had a good look at where I could have been, and am thankful I wound up where I did. Though I cherish the relationship with my sister, the relationship with my brother has come and gone and I’ve just not been able to scrape together a long term relationship with my half-sister besides a handful of brief meetings through the years, a couple of Xmas cards and a few comments on Facebook…its better than nothing and I’ll take it like it is. Again, the best thing you can do for yourself if you are searching for birth parents is to go slow and breathe deep. Its imperative to face the possibility of any reality positive or negative, because just like life itself, anything can happen. If you only envision a reunion where you are running toward each other in a field of daises with sunshine and the wind blowing through your hair, you unknowingly might be sharpening a dagger that will be driven through your heart.

SueZQ

How could they be “high school sweethearts” if they were six years apart?

Adoptee

Everyone is entitled to their story, no matter what that story is. It seems rather odd that this story is the focus after TEN years. Since the mother had already signed documents to search for the daughter, the reunion was inevitable. With open adoption’s as they currently exist, the information about the man would have been something the daughter would have grown up knowing and to be cautious of him. The mother was an adult who was capable of making her own choices. The father is a dangerous person. It happens. I find it rather interesting that NOW, when so many states are finally restoring equal access to original birth certificates, that this story was written. Neither Kansas nor Alaska EVER denied adoptees equal access and more states are restoring equal access based upon studies which reflect the positive outcomes.

Charlene Hicks

I have been very interested in this, and been trying to figure out how to get hands on. I am in criminal justice, but this area has me driven. Any suggestions? wcrgreen85@yahoo.com

Kirk Mitchell is a general assignment reporter at The Denver Post who focuses on criminal justice stories. He began working at the newspaper in 1998, after writing for newspapers in Mesa, Ariz., and Twin Falls, Idaho, and The Associated Press in Salt Lake City. Mitchell first started writing the Cold Case blog in Fall 2007, in part because Colorado has more than 1,400 unsolved homicides.