How Fitness Really Works For Normal People

Summer is only weeks away and that means everyone is chasing that killer beach bod. Though there are some lucky ones among us who have managed to maintain a six pack since grade school regardless of the food they eat or the amount of exercise they do, the rest of us have to work for our results.

But honestly, who has the time hours in the gym working and sweating. Who has the money for expensive diet foods, and who actually wants to do cardio? With that in mind, the following is a list a well tested, tried and true approaches to get you to your physical peak without having to train like you’re running in the Boston Marathon.

Fitness Plan #1: Join A Gym

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Joining a gym is a fantastic way to get into shape. In fact, joining a gym has such a big impact on your fitness level that you don’t even actually have to go that often. Here’s a great lazy man’s workout plan.

Day 1
Making the commitment to actually join the gym was hard work in and of itself. Therefore it’s probably a good idea to take it easy on the first day.

Remember, today is not about results, it’s about getting situated in the new gym. It will be your home for the next few weeks so walk around the gym and get the lay of the land. Try to figure out what machines you might enjoy using. Try a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but don’t over exert yourself. Walk five minutes on the treadmill then head to the nutrition bar for a smoothie. You earned it.

Day 2
You’re probably still pretty tired after day one so it might be best just to take the day off so that your body is ready to hit it hard on day three.

Day 3
Go in there and bust your butt. Set reachable goals and don’t try to lift the whole gym on the first day. Fitness doesn’t happen over night. Block out the pain and do your best, at least for like 15 minutes, then start thinking about all the other stuff you’ve got to do. Decide to cut your workout short and head to the treadmill for a 20 minute run. After only walking 4 minutes head to the nutrition bar for a smoothie. You earned it.

Day 4
It’s time to get serious. Tomorrow. Today is your off day.

Day 5
Head to the gym ready to kick butt. Get a phone call from a friend informing you of something exciting going on. Decide you’re just going to get a smoothie, cause that’s pretty much like working out anyway, right?

Maybe the gym thing isn’t for you. Too many muscle heads looking at themselves in the mirror. How bout something with a few less people around.

Digital Vision

Fitness Plan #2: P90X

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If you don’t have a gym near by or would rather workout at home, p90x could be the thing you need to get your self in shape for beach season. Fair warning though, these workouts are intense. After ordering the DVDs here’s what you should expect from your p90x workout.

Day 1: Chest, Back, and Abs

Day 1 is about doing your best and forgetting the rest. You aren’t going to master p90x on the first day and you probably won’t even be able to finish. Just keep up the positive attitude and don’t give up.

5 minutes later…

Holy hell. The warm up is barely over and every part of my body is screaming. Who cares though. You’ve made a commitment to fitness. You bought the super expensive dvds. You told everyone at work you were changing your life. You’re not going to give up.give up.

5 minutes later…

Holy hell. What kind of sick mind devised this? Screw the people at work. You’ve done enough chest and back today, let’s just skip to the abs.

5 minutes later…

Never mind

Day 2: Plyo

Day 1 was tough, but today you know what you’re getting into. Day two is plyo which means no weights so you should be able to do it.

Jump training. You’ve jumped your whole life. You can handle this.

5 minutes later…

Why would anyone in their right mind do this. Besides, isn’t all this jumping bad for your knees? I think you read that somewhere. And you don’t have time for all this, you’ve got to do that thing you’ve been putting off, right? You’ll pick it up tomorrow.

Day 3: Arms and Shoulders

You know what, I don’t think this p90x thing is for you. You gave it your best though.

Okay, so p90x isn’t your thing. You don’t like being stuck in your house anyway. Let’s try something outside…

Monkey Business

Fitness Plan #3: Running

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If you aren’t into all the weight lifting and strength training, and you just want a fun way to lose some extra weight then running might be your best option. It’s a great way to clear you mind, enjoy the outdoors, get some sun, and get into great shape.

Day 1:
If you’re going to run, you’re going to need a whole new running wardrobe to ensure you’re doing it right. Head to Academy and stock up on new running shoes, new athletic shorts, and a high quality heart monitor/iPod holder. These things are imperative to you reaching your fitness goals.

Day 2:
Now that you’ve got your running wardrobe ready to go, it’s time to consider your running tuneage. You can’t run in silence can you? That’s impossible. Spend day two updating your iPod with new music that will keep you motivated. Create a new playlist called, “Workout Music” or something like that. The results you gain from running will be directly related to how well put together your workout playlist is crafted so make sure you do a good job.

Day 3:
Its go time. Head out to the park, neighborhood, trail, wherever you decide to run and get your butt in gear. Situate yourself with all of your new equipment. Make sure your heart monitor is properly working and your iPod playlist is read to go.

Set reachable goals and remember that today is simply about getting back in shape.

10 minutes later…

Running sucks. Forget this. What you need is a personal trainer and a fitness community that has your back.

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Fitness Plan #4: CrossFit

flickr user: Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson

CrossFit is the newest craze sweeping the nation. It is functional fitness. Now just a gym, but a lifestyle. These people are hardcore and they’ve got hard bodies. If you make this commitment you can do anything.

Day 1:

They want you to do what? How many? Excuse me? What is wrong with these people. You’ll give it a shot, but why would any right minded person subject themselves to this kind of torturer. Forget it. Mind over matter. You’re not here to set personal records on the first day. This is a long process. Just do your best.

5 minutes later…

Okay, you just threw up and you’re completely sober. Not cool. That is more than enough for today. Why do all the other CrossFit’ers seem to be enjoying themselves? What’s wrong with them? Why do they all talk like high school football coaches?

Day 2:

Today you know what to expect. Many people throw up on the first day. Now it’s time to push through and see what you’re made of.

5 minutes later…

Puke. Again. Everyone now knows what you’re made of, considering you’ve thrown your guts up on the gym floor twice. I don’t think this CrossFit thing is for you. Besides, all these CrossFit people are starting to creep you out. All they talk about is CrossFit. Creepy. It’s like a fitness cult without the cool robes and chants. You should consider some other fitness plan.

flickr user: Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson

Fitness Plan #5

Screw Fitness, who needs a damn beach bod anyway? I’m just going to drink more than everyone else.

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Did The Lazy Approach to a Killer Beach Bod help motivate you to get into great shape? Share your workout secrets in the comment section and be sure to click the “Like” button to help motivate your friends.

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