Archive for Family – Page 3

I just ate toast with strawberry jam. I’m drinking orange juice, not so much because it sounded good but because I would like to feel baby girl kick a bit more. She’s an unpredictable little babe, sometimes she kicks and punches like crazy, one time, I could feel her head, her punches and her kicks all at the same time and then other times, she’s so very quiet. I know much of the quiet has to do with how little I’ve been sitting or resting, which I’m hoping to change soon. These past 8 days have been busier than I could have imagined, which is good because once the kids are in bed and I’m finally sitting with a bowl of ice cream on my belly, sadness kicks in. I just start to feel nothing, maybe.

I don’t know.

So much has happened over the past 8 days, beginning with Sam’s passing. Two other people who impacted our family passed away, as well. I’ve been working non-stop, Eli has been so sick or cutting teeth or something that’s causing him to only cry – not eat or sleep, just cry.

I dare not complain.

In fact, I lay in bed at night and think about the sweetness that occurred in my day. The people I was able to meet and hug last week, my children, who knew Samantha, being extra sensitive and so very sweet to their Mama and my husband doing everything he can to help me and the family and even Samantha’s family. Anna hasn’t really left my side since last week. Even when I nap, she “naps,” too by sitting on my bed and reading a book or coloring. I fall asleep to the sound of her crayons hitting the bottom of the container and the sound of choosing another color. The type of sound that can lead you directly to your childhood.

I think I’m just living in fear right now. As if last week God reminded me to not get too comfortable. A big booming voice in my head that said “I’ve taken away before…” And then I remember where we’ve gone these past few years, how far we’ve come and how quickly it can disappear again. Emotionally, I’m holding on tighter but emotionally I am so scared of the unimaginable happening.

I’m okay, I promise you. And my orange juice is working, so now I’m feeling even a little bit better.

There’s a lot of darkness but also a lot of light. I’m doing what I can do focus on the light.

I’m so sorry to be missing from this space for so long. We left town on Friday morning, I was hoping to put up a Friday Morning Coffee post but was so consumed with wrapping up things for work that I just couldn’t swing it.

Apparently, I really can’t do everything. Who knew?

So, before we head back home, how ’bout some photos from this weekend?

Here are the four older cousins!

Anna and I – my belly at 22 weeks.

And all of the kids. Can you believe they belong to us?!

And then we had a fun little naked bootie session. Can you believe how gigantic Eli and Trey are?

I’m sitting on the couch, my laptop on my lap. Eli is playing on the floor in front of me. About every four minutes he crawls up to the couch, stands up and tries to close my laptop. (here he comes, by the way.) I tell him “no” he sits down and tries it again. And again. And again. Finally, I give in and he closes it. I sit, with it shut on my lap, he sits down in front of me, satisfied with his baby powers.

After two minutes, I go to open up my laptop again and he turns his head. Knowing what is going to happen, I just close it on my own. This happens for so long that I finally give up and go take a shower.

So, now I’m showered and dressed, my hair is in rollers and I just gave Eli a bottle. Those words “I just gave Eli a bottle” are so foreign to me because I haven’t really had to do that with him. But since Tuesday, he won’t nurse anytime between 7am and 3pm. This is truth. I still try and try but he’s not interested. So, I’m giving him bottles and he takes them and is much happier after having one. In fact, right now? He is playing and leaving my laptop alone.

He’s teething, I’m pretty sure this is why the change, so I’m hoping he’ll go back, but if not, I’m so happy with our year of nursing. It was one of the biggest struggles of my life, but my goodness, it was completely worth it.

A few weeks ago, I showed you guys this photo and mentioned how the wall color inspired me to paint my walls. Well, I haven’t painted my walls, yet, but I will, don’t worry. I’m bringing this up because many of you asked for the wall color and many of you thought it was my dining room.

Well, I don’t know the wall color and also this is not my dining room, although, I do wish it was. This room belongs to Kelly Rae Roberts (one of my favorite artists. I wrote about her a few years ago after discovering her on Etsy, my love for her remains.) If you go to her blog, be prepared to become completely inspired to live a better life, to clean your home and to try something fun and artistic. She’s powerful that way.

If I ever find out the color, I’ll share it with you, I promise, I will.

I just laid Eli down for a nap and took my rollers out and applied makeup. I look so much like Diane Chambers right now that it’s eerie and I don’t mean her face, I mean her hair. Not really the look I was hoping to achieve but who am I kidding? My hair will be up in a ponytail in no time, so who cares, right?

Finally, we are leaving for Florida on Tuesday morning. We have so much to do before we leave but we are so excited to be taking this time for our family. Even though the weather here has shifted and it feels and smells like spring and my windows! are! open!, I just can’t wait to feel that hot sun on my shoulders and the cool water of the pool chill my body. There is nothing like it.

No agenda, just us.

While in Florida, I’ll be doing a photo session with one of my readers. This excites me so much. One, because I get to meet her and two because how cool that because of this blog, I am able to travel to another state and do a photo session? There’s a lot of happy coming up which makes waking up each morning very easy.

I’ve been around, relaxing with my family, trying to plan for our trip, playing hundreds of games of Uno with Noah, nursing Eli, nursing a clogged duct and not really sleeping at night.

I’m so tired. I go to bed early, but then Eli wakes up at least three times a night. Last Thursday, we had seven interruptions during the night from the three kids and countless interruptions from Brian’s work. I woke up early for a newborn session in Chicago, was gone all day, attended a school function at night and collapsed on the couch after nine. I was running on negative energy. It was then that I realized I was dealing with a clogged duct. I knew I didn’t want mastitis, of course, so I did what I could to fight it. And I did.

I’ve been spending a lot of time dreaming about creative things, surrounding myself virtually with things I love without actually executing anything in real life. And of course, it goes without saying that I surrounded myself with family and that is such love but I love pretty things. I love clean things. I love to be inspired.

I dream about beds and white sheets and sleeping without interruption until the sunlight hits my face.

After waking up, I’m pretty sure I walk into the kitchen, where there are fresh flowers, cut from my garden, of course.

And my kitchen, with it’s ample natural light, not a crumb on the floor or a stain on the counter, the kitchen just waits for me to make coffee in it. Naturally, I’ll poor a cup for Brian. (the kids are still sleeping, obviously.)

Birds are chirping outside. Such a beautiful view, a beautiful sound.

We walk into the living room, coffee in hand. We sit in silence knowing that soon, our three babies will be joining us, begging us for Daddy’s famous pancakes. (I may have whispered in their ears the night before “be sure to ask for Daddy’s pancakes.” Because I love them just as much.)

I see birds outside and grab my camera, the flowers are blooming, I crack the window and can smell the sweet aroma. There is no ugly winter here. Nope. Not in my dreams.

That magnolia tree never fails to amaze me.

I hop into the shower after delicious pancakes and sweet hugs and play time with the family.

Spring puts me in the mood for my favorite bracelet. I go to my room and open my organized drawer, there it is. Not entangled with anything else, just waiting, peacefully, for me to place it on my wrist.

I walk into my office to download photos and to email a few clients. I promised to not work more than an hour today. (see where my assistant sits? She’s the best assistant ever.)

That promise to not work for long will be easy to keep since we plan to spend the whole day by the pool.

So, you see, it’s not that I haven’t been around, I’ve just been busy dreaming.

You know how you ask someone how their weekend was and that person is like “oh, it was great, let me show you some photos” and then they reach for their iPhone and you’re stuck, looking at photos of people you don’t know when really the only reason you asked was because you accidentally made eye contact with them when you were reaching for a donut?

That’s what I’m going to do to you. Except, it’s on my blog and not my iPhone and you can easily step away from the photos and also, I wish I was near a donut.

I’ve been so busy trying to catch up on life that I can’t seem to formulate words today but I can show you photos of cute kids.

Oh yes, I can.

This is my nephew and the reason we went down to visit my sister. He’s turning six this week. His birthday party was a basketball theme party, they served nachos, hot dogs, soft pretzels and popcorn which qualifies that dinner as the best dinner ever.

This is my niece, Mary. She’s my best friend and I’m her best friend. We literally call each other “best friend.” She’s so sweet. After I take a shower and get ready, she says “Hi Best Friend, I like your shower.”

And this is Mary’s little brother, Trey. He’s just a little more than three months older than Eli.

Trey was terribly shy in front of the camera.

Here’s Eli and Trey together.

And here are my sister’s big kids and my big kids sitting together. They all get along so well.