Understanding the Fiscal Cliff, Cosmo-Style

You've heard of the fiscal cliff. You know it's causing Washington to freak out. But what the heck is it, really? Katie Ingebretson, a former deputy battleground states director for President Barack Obama's 2012 re-election campaign and a partner at K Plus K Enterprises (a political consulting firm), clues us in.

So, here's the deal on the fiscal cliff. I find it about as exciting to read about as eating my 25 calorie rye crackers for breakfast and thought I may try to put it in terms we can relate to. Whether you want to impress a chap at the bar with your bureaucratic savvy, or want to balance out your binge last weekend on Real Housewives with some current events, here's the lowdown on what happening.

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I'm going to be the U.S. in this scenario. (I am indeed very patriotic and have mountainous regions and plains, not always in the places I want them, but no one is really that excited about the fact that Oklahoma exists either.) A few years ago I had a real life bender – flirted with a banker to give me a loan on a house I couldn't afford and bought a couple of timeshares (2008 financial crisis). It was a weird and mostly intoxicated time for me.

I was in a lot of debt from my irresponsible purchases (U.S. recession) and was depending more than ever on my credit cards (internationally owned bonds – how the U.S. borrows money). My parents (Congress) became involved. They were in a bad divorce back in the day and are rough to be in a room with. My mom (Democrats) doesn't make a lot of money but is generous and likes to invest in my health and life regularly, and my dad (Republicans) is loaded but prefers putting his money in a trust fund for me, an investment he feels will help with my growth in the long run.

After a financial intervention in 2011, Mom, Dad and I made a deal: I had one year to get my life in order with their support, and at the end of the year, Dad was going to stop putting money in my trust fund (end of Bush era tax cuts for the wealthy), Mom was going to stop spending money she didn't necessarily have on me (major cuts to the federal government spending), and I was going to pull myself up by the bootstraps.

So, here we are in December 2012, and I'm not fully ready to do that: I still owe a lot of money and though I'm doing slightly better (overall job gains in 2012), if my parents do everything they planned to in 2011, I would probably fall into depression (think 20's-style Depression) and need Prozac (a lot of Michelle Obama pep talks) to get me through.

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So, Mom and Dad are duking it out right now. The Democrats don't want to stop spending; they want to keep as many of their programs as possible. The Republicans don't want the tax cuts for the wealthy to expire because they think it will spur future growth. Both parties have to compromise, though, because Republicans control the House, Democrats control the Senate, and they have to be grownups and broker a deal. If they don't come to a deal, I'm cut off completely and will probably go into a deeper recession next year.

So, all life analogies aside, Congress needs to put their egos aside and work out the fiscal cliff so that we don't go into a deeper recession. Fun and not often enough utilized fact about Congress: You can call your representative and chat with them about why you are concerned about an issue, including this. Want to try it out? Click here, go to their Web site, grab their contact info, and shoot them an email or give a call and let them know what you think.