Rob Ryan wearing a Drew Brees jersey while drinking at a parade. Also, higher than normal crawfish prices? Throw an Abita ad on top of that one from Party City and you’re looking at peak levels of New Orleans.

It’s fitting to look towards New Orleans for Mardi Gras week, and it just so happens that two people closely affiliated with the city’s football success are in the spotlight this week, for very different reasons.

Best Week goes to Rob Ryan, who served as grand marshal of the Krewe of Argus Parade. Honestly, I have no idea what differentiates these parades from one another, but this one is probably the best, because Rob Fucking Ryan, man. I hope he stays in New Orleans forever and becomes a local fixture. He’ll open a po’boy joint out of his van. Then he’ll be elected mayor as a write-in candidate. And one day he’ll unseat Bobby Jindal. Or at least challenge him to an alligator cage match. First step: invent the alligator cage match.

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Worst Week goes to Darren Sharper, because…yeah, rape is pretty much the worst. Sharper is allegedly raping his way across the counry. The latest report alleges that he admitted some of the sex he and his friend/alleged accomplice had in New Orleans was not consensual. Sure, it seems unlikely that an experienced alleged rapist would get caught owning up to his horrible crime, but that’s what happens when you’re locked in an interrogation room with Rust Cohle.

Rape is horrible and regardless of whether Sharper did or did not do the things he’s accused of, it would be great if people would stop raping other people. Please.

Unsilent – the only thing that sucks about Rob Ryan’s gig is that it was in Metairie, which is essentially like every other suburban metropolis hellhole in this country. But, still, it’s Rob Ryan he’s fucking awesome.

This could be the same result every week. I can’t imagine Rob Ryan somehow not having the best week ever every week, and Darren Sharper isn’t going to start having better weeks any time soon, unless he enjoys anal rape. Perpetrated on his boohole.