I've been thinking about encouragement a lot lately: what is is, what it isn't, where and how I/you/we meet it, where and how I/you/we avoid it, how I feel when I am encouraged, how I feel when I'm not…

Encouragement is something I reflect on periodically, but lately - since I've been communicating with this year's Support Stories contributors (Support Stories could definitely be called Encouragement Stories) and taking the final steps prior to offering Encouragement Sessions (more on that as it develops) - I've been doing double time pondering and reflecting (on encouragement).

I figured I'd share my biggest aha! with you in the hope that it'll spark YOUR thoughts on encouragement!

Sooo - my biggest a-ha! is realizing that encouragement is me-centered (which is not the same as self-centered or selfish).

Encouragement is specific to me and (I think) YOU.

It's different from inspiration in that inspiration feels general. I can be inspired by listening to people talk about what they're up to, what they're passionate about - even when the things they're up to are way outside my own passions and interests.

But encouragement, like I mentioned above, is specific.

I feel encouraged when I feel seen and heard, when who I (really) am is acknowledged (as opposed to when someone sees me as they wish I was, or mis-sees me).

When I feel encouraged it's like I'm more me, more solidly me (all of me!).

Also (this wasn't my aha! thought, but it is good to know/remember!), encouragement can come from outside or in - being seen and heard and/or acknowledged can come from others OR from mySelf.

Resonate?

Want to hear (and/or read) stories that bring you awareness, allowing, acceptance and appreciation (i.e. celebration!) - of yourSELF! As you are. Now!

The phrase Right Brain will usually get my attention. I'm sure I still have two sides to my brain - but I have a definite preference for the right side these past number of years…

that other word, though: Planner! It's very unusual for that word to interest me.

But these pages kept calling. I kept seeing updates around the internet (collages, artwork, blog post links and quotes) from Teresa (@stargardener) about them and yesterday I raised my hand, I wanted in (well, I didn't really raise my hand - I clicked a link and signed up).

This isn't an affiliate kind of thing, it's not even a loving review - they haven't started yet and I've never done this before (the sessions begin in November). I'm just pointing to something that looks intriguing: planning pages, community, a place to learn ways to document, art fun -

and letting you know that there might soon be some kind of shift in the universe, because me, planning - ohmy!

I'll probably be sharing photos of my attempts at some point during the 3 months that this runs, but if you want in yourself hurry on over!

Want to hear (and/or read) stories that bring you awareness, allowing, acceptance and appreciation (i.e. celebration!) - of yourSELF! As you are. Now!

While Halloween spookiness can be fun, trying to live up to that crap is NOT!

Those words were repeated a lot in my growing up years, and there were decades when I believed it - which, at times, made my creative life miserable.

They can still conjure up scary Halloween-like feelings (clenched jaw, stomach muscles tight, breath held…), like walking into a trail of cobwebs (the enormous sticky kind) as you step down into a dark, dank basement, while hearing an eerie: "awooooooooohooooohohhhhohhhohhh" sound. Creepy!

But now I know, down to my bones, that if something's worth doing it's worth doing - no qualifiers! Do it badly, make a shitty first draft, screw around with paint, fuck up your first attempt at anything (or your 2nd or 3rd or 400th) - have fun, enjoy the experience, learn something, try again - or try something else. And it's ALL worth doing because YOU did it (not because of how it turned out!).

I also know, down to my bones, that thinking you need to do all things right (i.e. perfectly, up to some elusive measure of ok-ness) is one of the foundation layers of perfectionism (ew, ick, phooey).

How do you learn or have fun or explore/experiment if you've got to do it right?

Let's just do it - whatever it is for each of us - for the pure joy of doing it!

In a long-ago post, called Living Imperfectly (see mermaid photo above), I wrote about my struggle getting past doing things right (working on a mermaid costume for a four-year old). Time flies - Little Princess turned 11 last month!

*Thanks to PicFrame and rhonna designs apps (and my belief in playing - without regard to outcome) for the graphic. Blurry mermaid photo = mine. I rock imperfection!

A sailor lost at sea can be guided home by a single candle. A person lost in a wood can be led to safety by a flickering flame. It is not an issue of quality or intensity or purity. It is simply an issue of the presence of light. - Kent Nerburn

"It is not an issue of quality or intensity or purity."

Gasp! What a great reminder that we can do this: we can be that Light NOW (don't have to wait 'til we're perfect

If you haven't read it (and even if you have - because it's hilarious and worth a second, third, fourth... read!!), Colin Nissan's very funny essay about decorative gourd season is over at McSweeneys'. It's called It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers (so, probably don't need to tell you it's laced with expletives) - you can pick up your own mofo mug there, too (not an affiliate link, just want to share because you can't get too much gourd humor!).

Hungry for more gourd laughs? Funny or Die has a video/skit of Nissan's essay.

Want to hear stories that bring you awareness, allowing, acceptance and appreciation (i.e. celebration!) - of yourSELF! As you are. Now!

I had to laugh at the fellow's take on October, even though October is probably my favorite month (so hard to choose!):

"What is it, exactly, that you like about October? Is it the brisk temperatures and the leaves changing from green to a scenic collage of reds, yellows, and oranges? Well, (a) late-March and early-April have the same temperature range with added benefit of the days getting longer instead of shorter, and (b) those leaves you are ooo-ing and ahh-ing over are dying. You are taking pleasure in the yearly, cruel death of a living organism while simultaneously praising the environmental conditions that cause it to happen. You monster. You monster."

I love October, I love fall! The clean, crisp air, the bright (but not sweltering) sun, harvest goodies, the silliness (and color) of Halloween. I feel energized and open to possibility, full of plans and hope in October.

And I always fall in love in fall. Although, for a stretch of time, I've vowed to fall in love (only) with Life, with mySelf, with Mystery - but not with particular people (I'm not against people - just trying to make an adjustment).

YOU? Got a favorite month? How 'bout one you'd like to kick in the undercarriage??

I may have mentioned knitting like crazy (or knitting to keep craziness away?) - well, here are a few of the things I've made recently:

There's the doll to befriend the first knitted doll I made my granddaughter a few months ago (both were adaptations of dolls in a Fiona McDonald book called Knitted Fairies: To Cherish and Charm* - awesome fun!), a wrap top and leg-warmers (plus the tutu - not knitted, but still Gram-made) plus wild-colored poncho for my grand's American Girl doll, and a wee clown type doll from a pattern called Knubbelchen that I found on Ravelry.

That's a lot of knitting - and there's been a lot more! Maybe don't sit down next to me for too long, I might start knitting your hair into a doll sweater - grin.

What form does YOUR creativity take when it goes crazy wild?

Want to hear stories that bring you awareness, allowing, acceptance and appreciation (i.e. celebration!) - of yourSELF! As you are. Now!

What Osho said! And here's a story about Creativity and Rebellion partying together at my house awhile back.

A bit of backstory first: Before my daughters and I started unschooling they both attended parochial school - the same Missouri-Synod Lutheran elementary school that I went to as a kid. Manchild, who is a lot younger than his sibs, was born into a full-on unschooling environment

Once upon a time, prior to Halloween festivities, an edict concerning costumes was sent home from the girls' school. It was decreed that, for their classroom Halloween parties, the children were only permitted to wear costumes representing Bible characters.

I don't know whose idea it was, or what prompted them to come up with new rules - but I remember thinking that someone seemed upset by ghouls, floozies and costumes encouraging violence.

From childhood on I've had a perverse reaction to being told what to do and/or how to do it.

Even when I agree with rules they get on my nerves. Hell, I even have trouble following rules I make for myself. The rebel spirit jumped up and bit me on the ass when I read that costume commandment note.

I knew I'd figure something out. We'd comply with the letter of the law, but...

Aside: You know, if the person(s) who came up with the costume rule had done their research, they'd have realized they were leaving the door wide open on ghouls, floozies and costumes encouraging violence when they mandated Bible-only costumes.

Jeez, we could've gone with the John-the-Baptist's-head-on-a-silver-platter theme, or represented any number of harlots - or demons (knocking people around or just being flung into pigs) - or terribly violent folk. I'm telling you - the door was wide open!

I'm pretty sure the rule maker(s) was/were thinking of fluffy lambs, meek and mild Mary's, shepherds and the like. But they weren't specific!

Enter Square-Peg creativity! I used to sew costumes for competitive skaters, baton twirlers and such - so I had a decent amount of flesh-colored stretch fabric around. What if...

"Remember? Remember how you rolled Colonial Blue over the oddly arranged pink (metal!) cabinets - and even the old stove; switched out the plain, 50's style handles for the old-fashioned pewter ones?

Remember the wallpaper you hung and those matching drapes? And weekly family nights, playing games like Sorry or Monopoly Junior? And how we thought we'd beat the ugly family legacies (the future hung before us like sparkle lights)?"

I don't want to go back - I love my yellow and white kitchen, it's energy and flow - and I don't want to court regret,

but I just noticed a fleck of Colonial Blue paint peeking through the yellow and white

and I can't un-notice it.

*Photo of sculpture by Peter Cimino taken at sculpture garden of Tyler Park Center for the Arts fair, October 2012

The poem (above) is my contribution to OctPoWriMo 2014 (sure hope I can keep up!). Click on the badge below to read about OctPoWriMo 2014 - 31 poems in 31 days.

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