Sex Talk Realness: Sex Toys

Two anonymous twentysomething women talk about their Goody Drawers.

When did you get your first vibrator?
Woman A: I got my first vibrator as a gag Secret Santa gift from a coworker friend at my high school job at a pizza place!Woman B: I was 21, in college. My best friend and I went to a friend's birthday/sex toy party, you know, where they have a lady there who explains all the toys she has and then you can buy them. I was super drunk. And we all bought vibrators. Fun!

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

What kind was it?
Woman A: It was glow in the dark, the cheap wand kind you get from Spencer's.Woman B: Ack, I can't even remember. It was similar to the rabbit? I think it might have been an imitation.

Was getting it a positive experience?
Woman A: It was a fun gift to receive — I didn't have to go buy one myself! — but my mom found it in my backpack and yelled at me about it. Weird, since she's pretty sex-positive.Woman B: I mean, it was OK. I didn't really use it that often. It felt depressing to use instead of a man.

Had you had orgasms before you got it?Woman A: Yep!Woman B: Yes, all the time.

How was it the first time you used it?Woman A: I think the vibrations were a little too strong. Those cheap wand vibes feel really mechanical.Woman B: Eh, I don't think I had a better orgasm.

Is it more focused on clitoral or G-spot stimulation?Woman A: Clitoral.Woman B: It did both, but I wish I had gotten one that was only G-spot stimulation because I like doing the clitoris part myself. Maybe it's because I'm a control freak? I'm even that way in bed with men. I mean, it's hot to have my boyfriend fingering me during sex, but I'd honestly prefer to do it myself.

Have you ever had a bad experience with a sex toy?Woman A: Not really bad, but I'm not a fan of the rabbit-style vibes. G-spot stimulation makes me feel more like I have to pee than orgasm.Woman B: Not really, because I don't use them any more.

Do you use dildos? Why/why not?
Woman A: No, I have male partners and I've never wanted another penetrable in the mix, and I don't use them by myself since I prefer clit simulation for solo activities.Woman B: No, I prefer to use my hand.

Has a partner ever suggested using a sex toy you didn't want to use?
Woman A: Not yet, knock on wood!Woman B: Nope, I think I'd be pretty open to trying anything. But I've had pretty vanilla-y boyfriends, so they've never even suggested it.

Do you feel like you enjoy non-sex-toy sex more or less since you started using sex toys?Woman A: If anything, I enjoy non-sex-toy sex more. Toys feel really good but it's enjoyable to feel that good with only biological toys!Woman B: I definitely prefer non-sex-toy sex.

Do you think it's possible to use sex toys too often?
Woman A: Theoretically, since I've never heard of this problem. Like anything, I think if it gets in the way, it might become a problem.Woman B: Ha, no. Definitely not. I mean, was that SATC episode supposed to be based on real life? Had Charlotte never had a good orgasm before? I thought that was so weird. I mean, if you've never had a good orgasm before and you're 35 and you get one from a sex toy, I think you should be blowing off all your friends all the time to use it. You're simply making up for lost time.

Do you use anal sex toys?
Woman A: Nope.Woman B: I wish.

Have your partners known that you have a sex toy?Woman A: I think so.Woman B: Yes. My college boyfriend knew about the vibrator.

How have they felt about it?Woman A: Haven't minded at all. Probably they were turned on by it!Woman B: He didn't care and thought it was hot.

Do you enjoy using a vibrator or sex toy, or your hand or a pillow or whatever more?Woman A: I enjoy a vibrator more because it feels better, but my hand will never fail me and it's silent!Woman B: I prefer my hand.

Do you have a better chance of coming by using a vibrator or having oral/vaginal sex with a person?Woman A: A vibrator is a no-fail orgasm for me, but having intercourse is almost a guarantee since my broken vibe hasn't been replaced.Woman B: I can come either way. I prefer to be with a person.

Have you used other kinds of sex toys?Woman A: Yes!Woman B: No.

What kinds?Woman A: Vibrating cock rings and nipple clamps, if those count!

Have you ever used sex toys during sex with your BF? Which ones?Woman A: I think a small vibrator. It's been awhile!

What would you recommend for a first vibrator?
Woman A: Absolutely the magic/silver bullet — it's inexpensive, small, basically foolproof! Adjustable speed, and it's just as good for using solo as with someone.Woman B: I don't know that I would recommend a vibrator. I think exploring with your hands teaches you more about yourself, etc. But you know, if a woman is really uncomfortable touching herself, I guess something like a rabbit that has vaginal and clitoral stimulation would be best.