Dealing with triggers

I am still working on the as a matter of pride angle, but like others working to get the monkey off, I get urges. As we all know, or should know, these "Physical Urges" are created by my mind in large and not the nicotine addiction. Nicotine as a drug, can not create rationalized specific urges and the withdrawal/rewards comparison is not where the "Urges" win out because there is nothing compelling about smoking. It doesn't taste good, doesn't make me feel better or happier with myself. The physical urge is NOT that sophisticated. The brainwashing induced behavior monster in my head, with almost no help from nicotine, makes up the tall tales based upon what I know about myself and what I have decided is important in the wild deluge of advertisements and subliminal assaults. As long as I remember that I am making up this Unconquerable Need" all by myself with no help from the nicotine, its actually kind of amusing how deep seated this really is. Amusing is the wrong word. Alarming is more like. Step back to do the third person who knows the truth thing is what I have to keep reminding myself.

Most drugs, don't taste good they are designed to make one "feel good". A buzz, a high, a nod, a release of dopamine. Nicotine is a drug that we become addicted to and when we withdraw creates the urges/withdrawal sypmtons. Certain things can be a trigger. (e.i. food, sugar, alcohol, coffee, chocolate. Anger, Hunger, Loneliness, Tiredness. Like a drug e.i. crack, heroin, cocaine we become addicted to feeding the receptors in our brain to make us "feel better", physically and mentally. With education we learn more about the addiction and realize that we do not NEED the drug, and we can make a choice to use or not. The urges subside after a period of cessation but the addiction remains. The law of addiction. "Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance." It is important to establish your way of handling the addiction by not using. I have been told by those that relapse it only takes one puff to reactivate the receptors to want more. Making a commitment to never take another puff NOPE no matter what, is a route to success.

All I can say is, "you're right!" Nicotine is indeed an insidious drug that gets into every part of our brains. That's why it takes so long to be removed from us, I think. And the craves are a real part of that removal. The mind doesn't want to accept the change that we're forcing it to go through when we quit. I think most addiction is that way.

We know it's something that is horrible for us so while we continue to allow the addiction to grow, we create a false reality in order to accept it. At least that's how it was for me. And when we quit and get past the physical part of it all, we still have to convince ourselves that the reality that we've lived for so long isn't actually our reality. And the mind rebels!

You do understand what is happening to you. That's important, I think! Congratulations on your commitment and desire to win. I look forward to hearing of your continued success!

The ah-ha moment for me was when I realized that I'm in control to the extent that I get to choose my own narrative, belief system, and moment by moment build my own future! I can tell myself that Smoking Cessation is quite doable, that my future as an EXer is 1000X better, that withdrawal is uncomfortable but no worse than a cold or the flu, that as long as I get to decide I can easily decide to become and stay Smoke FREE! And why wouldn't I? Smoke FREE is the authentic ME! All of this is within my and your reach for the grasping!

The initial excitement and wild dopamine rushes are both starting to calm down now. I'm older than most of you and now my newest mental trick to win me back to smoking is the boredom of nothing to do and how much fun it was before when my old friend cigarettes was around to amuse me. Huh? That was a long enough string of crappola that I was almost laughing by the time that I got through it. When I hashed out this line of thought, I had already decided that this was me trying to get myself to cooperate with the part of my brain that was used to making so many of the bad decisions that I make and then have to live with. Not happening, but once again I am amazed by how behaviors are formed and reinforced. I remember when I was twenty five or so and having this deep revelatory moment. Boy I was dumb when I was younger. when I was 35 I had that same moment and it keeps recurring and its always the same. Boy I used to be dumb but I am so smart now. REALLY? I haven't gotten to the part where I could be so wrong so often for so many years about so many things and still be either smart or a good person. So maybe I am a no good person. I do know that this is not a reason to start smoking again. It will not make me a better person if I fail at something useful and beneficial to me and my family. The kids are looking for the good in me. Thats how kids are so in a way this really does help not only me but the kids as well. Thats a good thing.

Have you picked up any good hobbies lately? I, for one, would appreciate knowing more about you. Blogging here can take quite a bit of time, it's worth it to you and to those you read your writings! Reading the blogs also benefits you and your Quit Journey and as you so aptly point out, therefore the kids! There are many things I would love to do if I had more time. Some things I used to like are no longer physically within my reach but other stuff is there to take it's place. I like to research and learn new things. Computers have an infinite ability to teach. I have lately take up exercise such as Yoga, Pilates, and Tai chi. I have an endless fascination for books. At one time I was a pretty good artist but that's long gone dormant. I wonder what new hobbies you might like? Learn a musical instrument or a different language? Volunteer at the local food distribution center or soup kitchen? Grow your own veggies? The possibilities are infinite and you get to decide!

pongaselo I, too, would like to know more about you. You say you are older than most of us...I am 67 and smoked for 47 years (quitting during pregnancies and some short term "tries" without education or support). I NEVER liked the taste of cigarettes, not from the first time I smoked...once I made a promise to be honest to myself about what my expectations were from cigarettes, THEN I started to make progress. Is smoking a cigarette going to take away my physical pain? NOPE Is smoking a cigarette going to relieve my stress? NOPE Is smoking a cigarette going to stop me from being angry? NOPE Is smoking going to fix ANYTHING? NOPE. I told myself when I began this journey that I would ALWAYS ask and then answer honestly...it has been over three years since I smoked. NOPE was my best friend, Not One Puff Ever!

OK, here it is. I am 69 yrs old, male, 6'4", I was married 20 yrs and when I got married she asked me to quit as a wedding present. around 1981, I enrolled in SmokeEnders, did the 6 week class and never touched a cigarette for the 20 yrs. we were married. A couple years after the divorce, I was seeing a woman who smoked and for no good reason at all, I started back up. I stopped again for 6 months once and about 2 yrs another time. What tends to happen as near as I can tell is I get bored, depressed, or angry. Alternately I have found myself in social situations that were or at least seemed to be quite compelling. As we all know this is utter nonsense because no one has ever begged me to have a cigarette. I simply had forgotten once again, what a pain in the ass it is to stop smoking. Here I am 4 or so days into stopping and goofing on the stupid excuses I make up gets me past remarkably well. Ellen has a really great plan and truth to tell, its what I do also but she has it better explained. Good job Ellen. My guess is that anyone who successfully quits has come up with something similar in terms of evaluating the urges. Interestingly enough, I have found myself looking at some of my other compulsions and figuring out how valid they are, whether or not I make those up to give myself permission to do other stuff like binge on something I love to eat or drink. Something to think about for me certainly and it takes me right out of the need for a smoke every time. All I have to do is engage myself in a little soul searching regarding the trigger of the moment and Poof.

pongaselo Thanks for sharing that with us. I think you've got this....if you want it. You have already shown that you know how to have a successful quit. You ARE doing what I did...asking what smoking is going to change. If you answer honestly, it is a surefire crave buster and might have the added bonus of allowing you to get to know yourself even better. SEE...you're not really already well on your way. There are other people on this site who had long term quits and then gave them up for one reason or another...there's really never a good one. I had to work yesterday and came home and basically collapsed so I have not been on since you wrote this. The honesty is your key, only YOU know the question. Best, Ellen