Another Good Reason Not to Have Sex With A Donkey

Word originally came from a Lebanese website and has begun to spread from there, like a fungus growing under the cover of night. The story of a Saudi man, a Sheik, who went out to the desert one particularly lonely day with his 4x4 and a donkey. A day later he’s found by the police who are presented with the following: a man lying dead on the ground, a donkey tied to the 4x4 and the man’s pants still in the 4x4. The dead man appears to have sustained several kicks to the head and chest from the donkey, resulting in his death. A mystery? No. The man depantsed in an effort to make sweet, desert love to that donkey. The donkey, on the other hand, wanted no part of this non-PETA sanctioned activity and fought back. Donkey won.

The tale has been picked up and spread around Middle East news outlets until it inevitably hit the English-language news and so here we are. Here we are in the desert with a corpse and a donkey.

Did the man go to the desert specifically to have donkey sex? Where did the donkey come from? Did he drive it there himself? If not, whose donkey was it? Just some errant donkey? If it was his own, was there no place safer to try this than the middle of nowhere? Look at that picture, this happened nowhere. How did police even find him? Or is there just a sprawling city on the other side of the photographer and this super weirdo was doing it where he could be seen?

Is that sort of powder bluish vehicle in the right foreground the Sheik’s car? It doesn’t look like the sort of vehicle you could pack a donkey into, although that may be a flat bed in the back, like some manner of cut off pick up truck. Does this guy just drive around with his donkey looking for a place to bone?

Back in 2005, a man in Washington died after having sex with a stallion that perforated his colon. The man knew he had received internal injuries (if you’ve ever seen what a horse looks like when he’s, ya know…happy, this story is terrifying in so many ways), but refused to seek medical treatment for hours due to the embarrassment. The result of his death was a criminal investigation into the others involved (he had friends who taped it) and a law making sex with animals in Washington illegal.

In 2008, a 43 year old Irish lady met a man online in a bestiality chatroom and agreed to go to his house to meet him. There, she and the man and his Alsatian dog all got to know each other in a way that’s not how anyone really needs to know a dog, especially this woman, since it was later determined that she experienced a severe allergic reaction to the dog’s semen. How severe? It was the coroner who determined it as her cause of death.

The owner of the dog was put on trial for buggery, which is an actual crime in Ireland even though apparently no one had ever been charged with it since it went on the books sometime in the 1800s , so this case seems to be full of historic and memorable firsts.

So there’s three cases of people getting too close to animals in a way that didn’t pan out. Remember this, anyone out there who may be considering the same – animals are for petting, sometimes riding, sometimes eating. Never for sexing.