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Monday, 6 August 2012

World Domination 101 - Gracious and Humble

Never too busy to sit and talk with my Minions.

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Not long ago, the humans in this state elected a new Premier. The day he was elected, he promised that he would be "gracious and humble" in running the state. That was just before he started slashing public service jobs, cutting out funding for health and environmental groups, taking away rights for marginal groups, and lots of other things that made my humans say bad words.

I must say that I am also a gracious and humble ruler. I take the time to care for my minions when they need it.

Only today, I offered to help Mum. She was having chicken salad for lunch. I said if she wanted help, I could take care of the chicken part for her. She said she could manage by herself - she's very independent for a human - but the offer was quite genuine.

I even allowed Mum to get out of bed this morning to go to her doctor's appointment - even though I had been using her as a warm pillow. It is important to allow humans to have some freedoms, as long as they don't get hurt or lost, and as long as they don't forget to fill the Friskies dish.

Last night, I allowed Mr 18 to share the blanket I was using. Admittedly, he was under it before I found it, but I was still very gracious in allowing him to remain under it.

In fact, my being gracious and humble is enshrined in the International Anthem:

God bless our gracious Cat

long live our humble Cat

God save the Cat!

Give him some stinky fish

Friskies and lots of cream

long may he rule the world

God save the Cat!

You might find it useful to learn this anthem. It will be used on all official occasions.

Books by Iris, available in paperback and ebook versions, from:

Patchwork

Patchwork is an anthology of short stories and poems by author and blogger Iris Carden. In this volume, you will deal with the aftermath of a dog bite in Bad Moon Rising, spend a sleepless night with The Possum in the Roof, and investigate a weird religious cult in The Time of Blood and Death. The print version of the book has a bonus story not in the eBook version.

Beside Still Waters

A book of sermons and brief reflections on Christian Scripture, by Rev Iris Carden. There is no specific order to the items in the book, they are intended to each be a "surprise" in that they are not related to the items around them. It is hoped that in each, the reader will find something new or special, or unexpected, a message from God. Rev Iris Carden has a Master's Degree in Theology and more than 10 years of experience as a Christian minister

Cat-it-orial

Mr Bumpy is such a talented cat, he even runs his own website: mrbumpycat.com. He is a blogger, and a very bad cat. His favourite hobby is world domination. His next hobby is harassing the humans and other animals he shares a home with. In this book, you can see the world through the eyes of a megalomanicat, and some of the other animals who share his home.

Group Meeting

(Novella) In a facility for people recovering from mental illness: a group of people with sinister pasts starts to be visited by a girl who doesn't exist.

Karlee

Failing author Terry Dixon is made an offer that seems unbelievable. He can have all of his problems solved, have everything he has ever wanted, for a price. The price is something that "will not be too difficult" for him to pay - but it is not specified what it actually will be. With bills mounting up and a deadline looming, Terry agrees to a deal with something he knows nothing about.

About the Author

Iris Carden is a retired Uniting Church minister and former journalist. Lupus forced her to stop working. On good days she writes.

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Bloggercat at Work

Mr Bumpy on the computer.

Lunch Break

It's not that hard - open fridge, get cat food.

About Mr Bumpy

My name's Mr Bumpy. I spend a lot of time on the computer. (The humans I allow to live with me sometimes complain about me being on the computer - but they're mere humans, what do they know?)

My greatest achievements to date are: throwing Miss C's mobile phone out the window during the night; explaining to the dog who is boss; putting a mouse in Mum's slipper; bringing a live snake into the house and playing with it under the birdcage; and getting my own cat biscuits out of the bag when the humans are too slow to do as they're told.

I do have some help with my blog here - my "Mum" a human named Iris does some of my typing for me. She's OK as humans go, so you might want to check out her blogs some time. And of course, there's a dog and some rats and budgies, but you're really not interested in them.

You can contact me (or any of the rest of the Mr Bumpy Cat Dot Com team) at: contact@mrbumpycat.com