Edgar Allan Poe

How do we get our friends, our husbands, our wives and kids and patients to see the elephant in the room? My patients ask me this and I ask this of myself.

I want to feel better. I just want to get to the bottom of this!

Will someone please just treat what is wrong and I can move on?!

There is this implication that someone is plotting against progress to derail us from appropriate therapies, treatments, walnuts and soy milk. Why they would want to do that, no one agrees on.

When Cincy said something to this effect in clinic, a huge shade in the shape of an elephant in the room, caught my eye and it was distracting. I smiled at the wraith and conspired with it on how it could best gain acclaim. I tried to explain what I was seeing to Cincy, but how does one describe an apparition? I’ve never heard anyone do it better than Edgar Allan Poe and so I know it can be done. I’m learning. I needed to learn from Cincy.

Teach me Cincy. Help me learn how to speak of these things better.

I felt like I should know that already. But we physicians don’t graduate with a certificate in introducing elephants.

Trying to do the teaching-thang in clinic or out of clinic, if we want to get anywhere, we can’t do much if we aren’t both seeing the elephant. Talking about solutions, about treatments, motives or anything that doesn’t redirect each of us back to that specter in some way is skipping critical development. Counterintuitive, the immediate task at hand becomes more and more simple when there are ghosts about.

He doesn’t want me to take medication because he is afraid of what his mother will say.

Start talking about Me and not about him. How does Me factor in to deciding on medications?

Smoking is my last vice and I’m not here to talk about it. I’m here to talk about why I’m tense all the time.

Well, goodness. You don’t want this from me now on this post. I’m just trying to talk about that darn elephant.

When things feel complicated, when conspiracies seem to be around, when we hear ourselves naming others to explain our condition, when we avoid talking about something and when we lose Me -> reduce. Still missing it? Get even more basic. Soon we’ll see the shade. The elephant is there to help us, not shame us. He’s there to bring us back to Me where everything starts and ends.

Question: How has the elephant in the room improved or worsened your self-care? Please tell us your story.

You may have noticed the odd news. Stylish Zahara nominated me as a stylish blogger. This is one more example about why technology is a form of self-care, because despite it all, Zahara made me feel great!

It is also another wonderful example of things never being all about “Me.” Probably this is because you readers and commenters are so dang stylish! We should all take a look in the mirror and wink. I just did and it was a thrill. (Do stylish people do that sort of thing? See what I mean?)

The down side of this nomination is the to-do list. I’ve never been good at to-do lists. But, I do want to qualify at one of my only chances to be called stylishhhhhh stylish. Every cuckoo’s egg hopes to get away with this!

Present seven things about yourself:

I don’t enjoy hygiene but I do it. (You might want me to stop now.)

I loved being the only girl in my family growing up. Mom didn’t count because she was Mom. I now know what that is like.

Edgar Allan Poe was my favorite author in high school. I’ve tried to memorize Annabel Lee several times but settled for just saying I did.

We used to have fourteen cousins living with us in our house when I was a kid.

Every day writing this blog surprises me in so many ways. Don’t let my calm and stylish demeanor fool you.

Here comes the fun part of the to-do list. Me jumping up and down over you is the highest form of fashion. Ooo! Ooh! Whoop!!!! Here come my moves. (Loud crashing sounds assault us.)

Name six other bloggers for the award. Contact them and link back to the person, (in this case Zahara the wonderful,) and hope that everyone listed pushes this forward:

1. Joana Johnson in Creating Brains. Nothing like nepotism, (she’s my sister-in-law.) But I have to tell you, I’ve always thought Joana was stylish. I remember my brother describing her the first time he saw her. It was in the ’80’s and she was rocking the hair bows and lace. She was his first and last love and I’ve never questioned why. You can sense it in her writing. She’s got style.

2. The best grammarian I’ve ever known, Sarah McGhaugh in Bird in Your Hand. Sarah brings style to grammar like none other. And she really likes grammer! Only that kind of contagion could influence my well-learned bad habits.

4 and 5. I have a hankering that won’t go away for both ThysLeRoux and The Only Cin. They were some of the first to compile my supportive blog community. They have style.

ThysLeRoux is a marvelous cartoonist and humorist.

Here's Thysleroux's latest work sample

Cindy is an artist of life truisms, ah-ha’s and food, wielding all that using only photographs and words – she’s got one of the hugest vocabularies one person ever demonstrated and a great eye for food. It’s a pleasure on many levels to read her work.

6. Kevin Blumer is a living example of what self-care can do for someone who hadn’t been caring for himself. He is open and he’s available to the world around him – style many of us just don’t wear easily.

7. I know, seven is too many but I had to list our honorary blog-jacker, Mr. Rick C.

Now you guys do your thing! Push it forward. There are sooooo many other lovelies out there with serious style that should be on this too short list. ….You lovelies know who you are! Take care of yourselves.