Of no importance might it seem at first sight but self-identity is being crippled by numerous contacts and the necessity to construct a portrait in social networks according to which friends will treat a person in real life.

This runs on way too long. It needs breaking up with punctuation. If you identify your core sentence, then punctuate the adverbial phrases around that, that might improve how they link in.

There are some problems at the moment with phrases like:"Of no importance might it seem at first sight"This needs to be able to stand alone, and have a conjunction to link it to the main statement. E.g. 'although'.

But you already have a lot of conjunctions. You need commas at the very least.Then the word order for the individual phrases will become clearer, and the word choice will become easier to examine.

This runs on way too long. It needs breaking up with punctuation. If you identify your core sentence, then punctuate the adverbial phrases around that, that might improve how they link in.

There are some problems at the moment with phrases like:"Of no importance might it seem at first sight"This needs to be able to stand alone, and have a conjunction to link it to the main statement. E.g. 'although'.

But you already have a lot of conjunctions. You need commas at the very least.Then the word order for the individual phrases will become clearer, and the word choice will become easier to examine.

Ah! I deon't see "which friends", I see "according to which" - "which" being a relative pronoun relating to 'portrait'..My breakdown:

Of no importance might it seem at first sight - introductory clause with double dramatic inversion "It might seem of no importance at first sight"

but - conjunction between clauses

self-identity is being crippled - main clause

by numerous contacts and the necessity to construct a portrait in social networks according to which friends will treat a person in real life. - agent of the passive verb 'cripple'.

numerous contacts - one of two noun-phrases connected to "by".

the necessity to construct a portrait in social networks according to which friends will treat a person in real life - the second of the two noun-phrases.

the necessity to construct a portrait - noun phraseaccording to which, friends will treat a person in real life - adjectival modifying 'portrait'.

So . . .Self-identity is being crippled by numerous contacts.Self-identity is also being crippled by the necessity to construct a portrait in social networks.Friends will treat a person in real life according to this portrait.These facts might seem of no importance at first sight.

Of no importance might it seem at first sight but self-identity is being crippled by numerous contacts and the necessity to construct a portrait in social networks according to which friends will treat a person in real life.

I lost interest halfway through the sentence. Simpler is always better.

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