The Weekly Meeting {a happy marriage secret}

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The best things my husband and I do together every week to build a strong & happy marriage?

We meet together.

Every weekend we sit down together for about 30 minutes, usually while the kids are occupied with an activity or when they are asleep. We have been doing this since before we were even married and it really does help organize and plan out the week.

In fact on the busy weekends when we don’t get a chance to meet (although we make it a priority so it almost never gets missed, but every once in awhile it does) I feel it for the rest of the week and it also has a negative impact on our marriage as well.

Though our family has grown and we have changed, our meetings together follow the exact same routine today as they did when we first started meeting together.

5 Things We Do & Lessons We Have Learned from our Weekly Meeting

1. We Review Our Week Together

We discuss my husband’s work schedule so I know what nights to expect him home late or what mornings he has to leave early. We look at upcoming events or activities that we need to start planning in advance. I remind him of upcoming birthdays or holidays.

Taking the time to review our calendars together helps remove most of the surprises and helps to set realistic expectations of the other’s needs. Yes, unexpected events do happen during the week and there are things you can’t plan for, but when those events do occur they don’t seem as stressful because we already know how our week is unfolding.

This also helps me plan my week at home too. On longer days when he will work later I can plan a special outing with the kids or make sure we have an easy dinner planned. I’m not waiting around wondering what time he will get home with resentment or anger building up in my heart.

2. We review the budget together

My husband, the banker, has an extraordinary gift of organizing numbers. He is a saver by nature and a planner, so he likes to know where every penny is coming in and going out. He has created the most beautifully detailed spreadsheet that outlines our budget, and he updates it throughout the week.

We are accountable to each other when we make purchases because they all go into the budget spreadsheet, both cash and credit card purchases. Knowing that every purchase is recorded into our budget really makes me think about those impulse purchases that might happen.

Sure unexpected expenses come up and yes there are some days when a latte is completely justifiable 🙂 but I have become much more mindful of my spending patterns and in return I have turned into a saver and planner with my husband.

When we review our budget we also map out our short and long term financial goals including investments, big item purchases, home improvement plans. If we notice a certain budget area is getting tight (like the grocery budget because our two toddlers are already eating like teenagers!)we plan together how we can re-work the budget. We set goals and we work towards them together.

3. We share our concerns with each other

Maybe I said something he felt was disrespectful, or maybe I wanted help in this area and he didn’t come through. Instead of keeping those negative feelings inside and stewing on them, we use this time to share our thoughts and feelings. Sure we share these throughout the week but this is a set aside time each week where we have uninterrupted time to discuss these issues.

It is both humbling and completely fulfilling to confess, repent, forgive and communicate with one another. Yes it’s hard and more then enough times I don’t want to hear it, but it’s that part of marriage where we are being sanctified.

4. It keeps us accountable to one another

When we review our calendars and set dates or activities, we always run the event by the other person before confirming it. I don’t plan a girl’s night or a dinner out with friends before checking in with my husband to see if that night would work for him too, and vice versa.

By keeping record of the budget and sitting down every week to review it we are being accountable to one another. My husband works very hard and as a result I am able to stay home with the children. We view his income as our money but I am very mindful of my spending habits and even my comments about money.

My husband is very generous, gracious and compassionate. We have a strong partnership, he values my ideas and always discusses any big purchases or expenses by me before he invests.

5. It helps us to see the issues from each other’s perspective

Remember above when I said that we shared our concerns with each other? This means that we have to listen to the other person. We work towards having open hearts and minds when the other person speaks. We don’t interrupt one another, we listen and try to understand how that person was feeling.

We discuss the issue, we examine why we felt hurt or disrespected, we make a plan for how to avoid it in the future.

Men and women were created to be two very different people. We experience and interpret things very differently and sometimes we feel hurt by the others. Most of the time we don’t intentionally hurt or disrespect but it happens. So that is why we use this time to share our feelings and discuss how we can try to avoid it in the future.

Over the years of our weekly meetings we have fallen the exact same routine of going over our calendars, reviewing the budget and sharing concerns. It’s a routine that is firmly in place and has made a lasting impact in not only our marriage but also our family, finances, and how we spend our time.

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My husband and I currently don’t but this is a great idea and we definitely should start asap! This is a great tip to make sure we are both working towards the same goal during the week and working as a team. Thank you for sharing!

So glad you found this Amy and I hope you and your husband get a chance to start meeting. It does help to make you feel like you are on the same team together and working towards the same goals. Best wishes to you 🙂

Absolutely love this! My husband and I used to do a better job of this. I’m really hoping to get our weekly meetings back up and running soon. I feel like we’ve been under one major life circumstance upheaval after the other for the last three years. Just when we get on track, something throws it all off again. But I know this is helpful and essential for keeping us connected throughout the week when we communicate clearly before the week begins. Thanks for this reminder!

I can relate to having to adjust our routines with one event after the other crashing in on us. It always seems that just when you have it together, something happens to wreak havoc on the schedule! 🙂 Hopefully you and your husband will find a chance to sit down together and create a little peace for your family.

Love this!!! It is definitely a must to meet with your husband every week. We had one of those busy weekends this weekend and didn’t meet up. We are already behind on some very important decisions that need to be made. Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to implementing a few of your ideas. 🙂

This is a great idea! My husband and I are both people who love the idea of organisation, but sometimes do not live it out so well, especially when it comes to things like budgets and scheduling our time. We are always surprised when we look at the month to come and realize we have somehow managed to book up every weekend! We know that we are both much better when we are intentional about it, so this sounds like something that would really work for us. 🙂 Thank you for sharing!

Claire I can definitely relate to that too. I love the idea of getting organized, but it’s the practical day-to-day stuff that always throws me for a loop! Thankfully there is grace. Hopefully you and your husband can start getting into a habit of meeting, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

This is a great idea. I sit and make up my weekly plan on Saturdays when I’m drafting up my Small Victories Sunday linky recap and goals for the next week. I always jot down my menu plan and other goals into the weekly planner I developed to map out my week. While it is hanging on the pantry door for all who wish to see, my husband I don’t go through it together and we totally should! It would help us get on the same page so there are none of those last minute/unplanned, oh I needed you to do this or get that for me that throws off my plans.

Thanks for sharing with #smallvictoriessunday and hope you continue to link up with us! Pinning and sharing!

I post my meal plan in the kitchen too and it’s always funny to watch my husband stop by on Sunday afternoons and “approve” the menu for the week! 🙂 I hope you and your husband get a chance to start making a habit of sitting down together, even if it’s just for a few minutes it can really help throughout the week. Thanks for sharing Tanya, and I’m glad I found your link party too!

I know someone who runs a business with her husband out of her house. They also have four children. She said her business would have never made it without a weekly meeting where they planned out their family and work schedules along with discussing things like collections. She said before the meeting they would try to discuss things over dinner which never worked.

They are so smart! I don’t run a business, although this blog is starting to turn into one, but I can only imagine how communication and planning with my husband while working from home would be crucial. Thanks for sharing that inspirational story 🙂

I love this post. My husband and I have been married 22 years but are always looking to grow as a couple. I am going to talk to him about this today (and I’m positive he will be on board…or else! hahaha 🙂 ). Thank you for posting!

So glad you found this Julie and I’m glad that you want to start having a weekly meeting with your husband, it really has had such a positive impact in our marriage and we have only been married 7 years 😉

Welcome Sweet Friend!

I believe there is freedom in the Gospel to become the homemaker God has created you to be…. Perfection not required!
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Does creating a Christ-Centered home feel overwhelming?

It doesn't have to be!

Join our community and get the encouragement & guidance you need to find real joy & purpose in your homemaking today! To get started, you'll also get my FREE guide: 10 Easy Ways to Create a Christ-Centered Home!

Plus, when you join the Creative Home Keeper community you will join over 5,000 other women (just like YOU) who are becoming equipped to create a Christ-centered home and are transforming their hearts towards homemaking once and for all!

*By joining the Creative Home Keeper community, you agree to ourPrivacy Policy.

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