Most of the time, I really dig you. Let me start by saying that. But sometimes, you can be a total creep and I'm starting to think you need some time alone to reevaluate your life choices.

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Male Doll

Titled "otherworldly" but, exponentially creepy will also be accepted.

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Hot Milk Cake

Ew. What did we do to deserve a hot milk cake? Why can't we just have regular cake? Why are you punishing us??

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Toilet Paper Roll Snowmen

Sorry kids! Mommy's too busy putting earmuffs on some poop accoutrement to help you with your fractions. You'll figure it out...OOH SCARVES!

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Ham Stuff

Are you threatening me?

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Qalo

A "wedding ring to match your active lifestyle"? I mean maybe... Or maybe more like when your fiancé is over it and just thinks "but what about rubber"?

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Hello Kitty Phone Case

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A CURSE BOOBY TRAP WHERE I SHOW UP FOR A PHONE CASE AND GET THIS ABSOLUTELY MENTAL DOLL INSTEAD AND THEN IT HAUNTS ME AND MY KIN FOR ETERNITY BUT MY PHONE ALREADY BROKE BECAUSE I NEVER GOT THE CASE SO I WELCOMED DEATH LIKE A WARM BLANKET.

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Tooth Cookie Cutter

How broken inside do you have to be to take something as delicious as a freshly baked cookie...and make it look like a bone that fell out of someone's mouth. WHO HURT YOU?

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Fishing Shirt

Fish and sex, yeaaaaaa, they go together like...they don't. They don't go together. Like at all. Ever. Stop being gross.

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Mind Quote

Yea, Pinterest, you're at a fucking 12 right now and I'm gonna need you to come down to a 4.

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Pickle Roll Ups

What hast thou done to bring such unrelenting scorn upon the Earth?!

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Sexy Books

Wait a fucking minute...are those hockey sticks? Are we having sex on ice? Or sex with a hockey guy? Or like, sexy ice sex with a hockey guy? I'm confused by this setting altogether and not feeling randy in the least!

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Urine Tips

Please...this is not a scenario I'd like to consider. Appreciate the nightmare fuel, though.

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Elf on a Shelf

We gave him too much power. Now, there's no stopping him. You can only pray for mercy...