You had one job to do. Let it be known forth that the San Jose Sharks are the only Bay Area organization that can only wield its location and power to fuck itself. Whereas everyone else stationed there slowly (or not) takes over the world and is influencing their various spheres and others, the

vs. SCHEDULE Game 1 in San Jose – Tonight, 9pm Game 2 in San Jose – Sunday, 6:30 Game 3 in Denver – Tuesday, 9pm Game 4 in Denver – Thursday, 9pm This is where the Sharks are supposed to be, just not how they’re supposed to be here. It took a miracle, they somehow […]

vs. SCHEDULE Game 1 in San Jose tonight, 9:30 Game 2 in San Jose Friday, 9:30 Game 3 in Vegas Sunday, 9pm Game 4 in Vegas Tuesday, 9:30 I suppose I should stand my ground, as I’ve believed in the Sharks all season, until their late-season pants-filling without Erik Karlsson. The fact that they finished […]

vs. RECORDS: Hawks 33-33-10 Sharks 43-24-9 PUCK DROP: 9:30pm TV: NBCSN Chicago ALSO FAKING THEIR VOICE LIKE ELIZABETH HOLMES: Fear The Fin If you were to ask both fanbases, both would tell you their team is a mess, a disaster, an embarrassment. One has lost six in a row, and one has lost four of […]

This might be the most pivotal season in San Jose Sharks history for a few reasons. One is it might be Joe Thornton‘s last, and he will go down as the organization’s greatest player (sorry, Patrick Marleau, but you’re too weird). If they’re going to get Joe a Cup, it probably has to be now. […]

at Game Time: 8:00PM CST TV/Radio: NBC Sports Chicago, WGN-AM 720 Elon Musk Is A Sociopath: Fear The Fin To the remaining 8 people who still held onto any kind of reasonable playoff aspirations for the Hawks, yesterday’s display should have disabused anyone of that notion with a defensive performance against one of the worst offenses in the […]

You know those people that you only see at punk shows? Like you never run into them at the store or on the street? You don’t know where they come from? That’s @ItWasThreeZero. He’s our Sharks guy. Did the Sharks err by not getting a goalie at the deadline? Martin Jones‘s playoff record is stout […]

It only feels like we’ve been slogging through previews of teams that are, at best, not all that impressive, or just straight up bad. That’s what happens when you are stuck in the Pacific Division with nowhere to go and no escape route. But now we get to the good stuff. Although it’s slightly painful, […]

vs. RECORDS: Sharks 43-23-9 Hawks 31-36-9 PUCK DROP: 7:30 TV: NBCSN Chicago THEY CAN’T AFFORD IT EITHER: Fear The Fin A friend of the program, one Kevin Kujawa–guitarist and singer for great local band of the past Mannequin Men– used to refer to the first game after the trade deadline as “New Toy Day.” Well, […]

@ItWasThreeZero always answers our questions about the Sharks. We’d really like to think he has something better to do, but we and he know that he doesn’t. Ignoring the fact that he’s a raging dickbag, what’s it been like on the ice having Evander Kane? Kane’s off-ice history of sexual assault makes him an impossible […]