Are you interested in using my jokes in your monologues? I am available to write jokes for anybody who needs a monologue joke or two. If you need me, contact me by my email, which is alexschubs@gmail.com. Serious inquiries only! Thank you for reading my blog, and happy laughing!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

"Computational Creativity"

Joke of the Day: Twilight star Kellan Lutz is fuming after viewing footage of a teenage girl who abused six puppies by hurling them into a river in Bosnia, saying he "can't get the image of the crying dogs out of my head". Now he knows how Michael Vick feels.

Researchers in the Netherlands claim to have added bacteria to wet cement and developed concrete that heals its own cracks. If only Paris Hilton had discovered this earlier.

Ashton Kutcher told his Twitter followers that there’s no truth to rumors that he cheated on wife Demi Moore. Because nothing provides more closure about infidelity rumors than a Twitter update.

A Western Australia court ruled that female-to-male transsexuals are still women. This ruling has no significance unless you are a transsexual. Or if you commonly use Craigslist.

A British company claims its new bra can make breasts appear 10 years younger by lifting and shaping them. Isn't that the point of men drinking alcohol?

A researcher at Northwestern University received government stimulus funding for a project called “Computational Creativity: Building a Model of Machine-Generated Humor.” Or, as Jay Leno calls it, "My monologue".

According to Yahoo! News, whenever companies start hiring freely again, job-seekers with specialized skills and education will have plenty of good opportunities. Is this the same person that said that most rappers are black?

Craigslist's "adult services" section has been shut down in the U.S. In related news, Tiger Woods has canceled his internet service.

The lead singer of the Black Crowes, Chris Robinson, said that Taylor Swift's singing is "horrible". Who knew Kanye West hung out with this guy?

Comedian Robert Schimmel died from injuries sustained in a car accident the week before. His car crashed almost as hard as his career.