Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Last week, we brought you this video of a Buckeye fan calling himself "Mascot Man." The video was so craptastic, some Buckeyes suggested that it was actually a Michigan fan secretly behind the giant head and bad music in order to embarrass Buckeye Nation Unincorporated Township.

After watching the video (numerous times until my side hurt), I can see why any Tosu fan would wish that to be the case - that some bored but resourceful U-M fan bought a guitar, painted it scarlet and gray, purchased an Ohio State jersey, pants and other Tosu attire, made a big giant paper mache and cloth buck-nut head, spent hours writing a kick-ass ditty to the Village People's YMCA song and finally - to really sell the ruse - bought, framed and hung (what appear to be) three old Ohio State programs on his bare white wall.

Yes, if I were a Tosu fan, I would hope for that as well. With all my heart.

So the crack investigative team here at the MZone wanted to learn more about the mystery beneath the mascot (man).

At the end of the video, Mascot Man leans into the camera (since apparently he couldn't get a friend or even his mom to work it while shooting his masterpiece) and asks folks to check out his Facebook page.

So we did.

Now, we couldn't see the whole thing since (shockingly) we're not Facebook friends. But his wall has seven pictures, each of them with the costumed Mascot Man surrounded by women - many in Buckeye attire - at what appear to be sports bars (and/or Hooters).

"Amber, I've loved you since the day I met you. And on our wedding day - when I get to tell the world how much you mean to be - I wanted to surprise you with something special, something you'll always treasure and remember. I invited a musical guest to perform--"

"OH MY GOD, DOUG! You got Rascal Flatts to play at our wedding!?!"

"Close. Hit it..."

"Tressell...you're a stud in this town! I said Tressell!..."

I think it's safe to say that Amber - and everybody else at that wedding - would be in tears. For a variety of reasons.

And let's not forget the big corporate event...

"Johnson, our employees have been working hard this quarter. Lots of overtime. Really busting butt. I want to do something special for them next week at the company retreat in Dayton."

"Good idea, sir. We could hire a comedian to perform. Or maybe massages for the women and--"

(CHUCKLING) "Oh, Johnson, Johnson, Johnson. That's why you're the VP and I'm the President. I had something... different in mind. Watch this..."

"Buckeyes...there's a place you can go! I said Buckeyes...when you want a good show!..."

I think everybody reading this has just one question: How much? How much does it cost to get this kind of high-caliber entertainment for your event? I don't know. Is any amount really too much? Because I think we can all agree - you can't put a price tag on genius.

you know, if there's ONE thing tosu does very well, it's zealously defending their copyright/licensed images. they are constantly threatening suits against anyone trying to use "tosu" or any of their "iconic" images to make money (which in Columbus, happens a lot). they even once got into a squabble w/ Ohio U, over the selling of tees & sweatshirts w/ "OHIO" on them.

so, i can only imagine it won't be long before mascot man gets himself into some trouble (if not for making money, then for making them look bad).

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