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Be Real

18:14

Hi Guys,

This post is coming straight from the heart. It's something I truly believe in and want every other person to believe in too. This became even more important to me, as with a lot of things, when I became a mum. What I am talking about is the pressure men and women feel these days to look a certain way.

I know this post might come across as hypocritical coming from a part time beauty blogger and make-up artist but actually I think it puts me in a great position to talk about this topic. Like I said, this all came about when I had my first baby girl. As with a lot of other strange things that you never thought you would think about, thoughts about what she would be like when she was older started to creep into my head and this happened all over again when I had my second. I found myself worrying about them being concerned over their image, as I once did when I was a teenager. I didn't want them to be so concerned with it that it took over their thoughts, or worse, gave them anxiety.

I think my teenage years was when I really started to worry abut my appearance, to the point when it would effect my health in terms of anxiety. I was bullied at school about my appearance. My curly frizzy hair was where it stemmed from and because of this, the way I looked became a big thing to me. I wanted to 'fit in'. Well what I thought was fitting in. Now I look back I am so grateful I didn't. Without this experience I would not have been the strong, thick-skinned, determined woman I am today.

Beauty has now become a passion of mine. Yes, I am a beauty blogger and make-up artist, but that is because I find make-up fun! Not because I need it to hide behind. Most days I am make-up free and comfortable in my own skin. I've posted numerous times on my blog without any make-up or with my curly hair out and proud. I have stretch marks as thick as tiger stripes, muffin tops which hang over my trousers, but I am secure in what I am. I'm not saying I don't have the odd insecurity, it's natural to, but in no way do I let my appearance take over my thoughts or give me anxiety.

I hope my girls see it as fun like I do. There is so much pressure put on girls and boys that I worry about how I can actually protect them from this. What can I actively do to make them feel secure? I just want them to feel comfortable in their own skin and not feel like they have to put make-up on or be a certain size because that's the norm. I can only be open and honest with them and let them explore. Teach them good eating habits and make them feel happy about who they are and what they look like. I naturally find myself telling them they're beautiful and that I love them with all my heart, and hopefully this will give them some inner confidence too.

More recently I found myself reading Sunita's blog post, from LuckyThings.co.uk, on the Be Real Campaign and my ten line comment made me think I needed to write a post about it. The Be Real Campaign, if you don't know, is a pledge to be exactly that. It is a campaign that hopes to change attitudes to body image and help us to put health before appearance. It also encourages diversity in media and advertising and to promote body confidence. It's a great campaign that gives you practical things you can do to actually support the campaign. From complimenting your friends to speaking out about this issue. With the media playing such a big part in people's expectations, it is so important for them to make a conscious effort to make these realistic. Brands such as Dove, New Look and Superdrug, all sponsor and support the campaign which is a step in the right direction. However there is still a long way to go. So the more people that can read and be aware of the campaign, the better!

So this is my pledge to be real. And that's in all aspects of life. Don't ever be the you that you think other people will like. Always be the you that you like. Be the REAL you.

Aw loved this post Hun, I think that there will always be pressure to look a certain way. I got to say I'm the worst for putting myself down about things, I just can't help it, I'm struggling with my weight at the moment and just hate myself about it and we will always find something we don't like about ourselves. I Must try and be more positive lol

I totally agree. We always find it so easy to find the negative in ourselves but we need to focus on the positive! You are beautiful the way you are hun. I know what you mean about weight as I have put on a bit recently and just dont feel myself so for me it's important to get back to what I was physically as it will help me mentally. I'm doing it for myself! X

It can be so awful. School can be the worst place for people judging. I remember always wanting to just fit in and in a way go unnoticed. I wanted to disappear. But it turned on it's head and towards the end of school I became popular. Was a very weird time for me.

Thank you Kayleigh. Yes high school is such a high pressure situation. People feel the need to act a certain way to be popular and others just conform. Usually the ones that are a little different are singled out. Well that's what it was like when I was at school. But the more people who are aware of the campaign the better!

We should be proud of who we are and what we are. I have put on weight too recently and it gets me down only because I don't physically and mentally feel as good as I could. That's why I want to lose a little. We should all have body confidence and want to lose weight for the right reasons. You are beautiful! xx

This is an amazing post lovely and you should be so proud! Social media definitely plays a massive part and puts a lot of pressure on us to look a certain way but this is beautifully written. Well done you!

Social media can be so fake sometimes. Pictures literally give you one angle of a person and most of the time it's edited. That's why I want people to think more about what they put on social media as it does give people unrealistic expectations.

I really enjoyed reading this amazing post!! It's such an important thing to feel comfortable in your own skin, especially in this day and age! I'm currently embracing the make up free and natural hair look - still put my contact lenses it mind! Such a beautifully written post! X

Good on you Victoria! I totally forgot to include my struggle with glasses in the post. I have worn them since I was in Primary school. They are part of me now but I do occasionally get the contacts out. Make-up free and natural hair should be how we feel most comfortable!

This is such an important post! I love makeup just as much as the next girl but I also know the importance of makeup free days and being comfortable in my own skin! There's so much pressure now adays to look perfect all the time. This is a great campaign to be involved in! PaleGirlRambling xo

I was bullied at school throughout my teenage years as I had eczema on my face which was so bad I looked like a burns victim. Eventually I realised that the worst these parasites could was call me names & then it didn't bother me anymore. Getting through things like that has mde me the tough cookie i am today. A great post & great campaign to support! Love it! Xx

School can be one of the hardest times for people and children can be really mean. But like you said, it made you stronger and who you are. Proud of you for getting through it and being the inspiring person you are xx

Had to come and read this, as I love posts on being more body confident. I was exactly the same, having very very curly hair, which I hated, I would straighten it to death to "fit in" and only now as I'm older I realise people love my natural hair and I should be proud of it! I think you're right about the media definitely giving this idea of a perfect body with unrealistic standards needs to be addressed. I didn't think media images impacted my body confidence but subconsciously they must do as I will hide parts of me deemed undesirable when in reality it's normal! xx