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petMD Blogs

The Daily Vet is a blog featuring veterinarians from all walks of life. Every week they will tackle entertaining, interesting, and sometimes difficult topics in the world of animal medicine – all in the hopes that their unique insights and personal experiences will help you to understand your pets.

Perfect Dog Syndrome

Not that long ago, I was sitting in my exam room with a lovely family who brought their young, male Doberman Pinscher named Tiny to me for jumping up and biting. The first part of my appointments is geared toward gathering the history so that I have an accurate picture of what is going on with the pet, and it seemed like each time I asked a question about Tiny, the owner told me about her previous Doberman Pinscher, Tinkerbell, who was apparently perfect.

Eventually, I had to state the obvious; that Tiny is not Tinkerbell, and that he never, ever will be. It seems like I shouldn’t have to say this, but I find myself educating owners on this concept more often than I would like to admit. I call it Perfect Dog Syndrome. It occurs after the loss of a wonderful dog of whichever breed or color or type. Owners are so devastated that they try to somehow find their wonderful companion again by getting a pup of the same breed or color or type. Some owners want to honor their previous dog by getting a pup that is similar. More times than not, this leads to disappointment.

Some owners return to the same breeder, or even get a puppy from a repeat breeding. Even when this is done, the pup is likely to be different from the previous dog. The genetics roulette wheel spins individually for each dog, even within the same litter. Anyone with multiple children understands how completely different offspring from the same parents can be.

The idea that another dog of the same breed may not be as wonderful in the same way as the previous dog is a tough one to get past. We want in every way possible to believe that getting an "identical" pup will be the solution. Believe me, I get it! However, when you expect something of someone and they can’t deliver, you will inevitably be disappointed.

One very expensive solution is to clone your dog. The owners of some animals that have been cloned report that even the animal’s personality and health problems are identical to their previous pets.

Instead, I would suggest that you switch breeds, or at least go into your relationship with your new pup with an objective outlook. Consider what each dog brought to your life and taught you. Think about all of your dogs, not just the perfect one. Think about your expectations for this little one and make sure that they don’t include the characteristics of your previous dog. The slate has been wiped clean.

Each pup will bring you a different kind of joy and will teach you unique lessons. From Precious, I learned unconditional love and forgiveness. From Sweetie, I understood the power and strength of a relationship that is not built on the threat of pain or intimidation, but of love, structure, reward and consistency. Ace, my horse, taught me patience and kindness. Peanut, oh Peanut, my aggressive dog, taught me humility, self control, and objective thinking.

You can take steps to immortalize your dog by making donations in your dog’s name to a research fund, a shelter, or a rescue organization. You can volunteer at a rescue to help dogs from your "perfect" dog’s breed. There are lots of things that you can do to continue to respect and honor your pets after they have passed.

In my opinion, it is best to love the one that you are with and remember deeply, fondly and lovingly the joy of having had a perfect dog.

Comments 14

A treasured critter can never be replaced, but can live as a sweet memory in your heart.

Back when I volunteered with kitty adoptions, I ran into the same problem when people wanted another Fluffy just like they had before. The volunteers tried to stress that New Kitty likely wouldn't act just like Old Kitty and suggested that the adopters at least get a different color kitty.

People wouldn't expect it of an adopted child, why do they continue to expect it of critters?

On the other hand, I had little Emma Jean (RIP 2002) that I loved more than I can say. She was small, but pretty darned round. She had a flat-ish face. She was totally black. A foster kitty named Komiko looked a lot like Emma Jean. She became a Foster Failure named Emily Jean. She's more cuddly than Emma and much more food oriented, but she quickly became a family member. Hence, the Foster Failure.

I know she's not Emma, but I've never regretted adopting Emily Jean. I cross my fingers every day that she doesn't have all the medical problems that Emma Jean experienced.

This is a great article and one that so many pet parents should read. We treasure the memories of those we have lost and we cannot help but compare "new" family members with "past" family members, but we need to remember they are NOT replacements.

Every animal has its own personality (the good and the bad) and we love them for that. Great article Dr. Radosta!

Thankfully I have never fallen into the trap of thinking one dog should be like the other. Perhaps because when I was younger I always compared myself to others and I know what a dismal exercise that can be.

Dogs are unique individuals. Yes they have the same instincts and generally behave the same but their personalities are very different.

I have had a couple of dogs that I loved more then others and I do wish I had the same deep feelings for each and every dog I have had.

The dogs that give me the most behaviour problems are for me, the ones that are harder to love. Funny thing is they teach me much more than the “favourites".

As you may remember Molly is very dog aggressive. Today when I was taking out the recyclables my gate was left open and Molly got out. There is an old man that always walks his dog by my house when I am getting ready for work. It is at this time I am bringing Molly back, taking out the trash etc. I know it is a public road but I wish he would choose another street when he sees me with Molly. But stubborn as he is he will walk his dog by every morning. Well today Molly got out the fence and BOOM attacked his dog. I was able to separate them by pulling Mollies back legs out. Luckily the dog did not get bitten (which I find a miracle when Molly is involved). I apologised and both the owner and I went over his dog’s body to make sure there were no injuries. This is the only time Molly ever has gotten out. I try to be so very careful. I of course said I would pay for any medical treatment if the dog was hurt.
The old man wants to call the police and make a big deal of it. I understand it is a big deal but I have built a six foot fence and I don’t walk Molly in the park and I make sure she is secure when I take her out to the car to drive her to a place to walk. This is the first time Molly ever got out on her own. I realize I slipped up but I don’t think anyone, where I live can say< I’m not responsible,
I live in a trailer park and when that dog that was off leash attacked Molly and was killed the parks security told me Molly and Rock too needed a muzzle. (I refuse to muzzle Rock, he would not hurt a fly, and he even stops playing if a toy squeaks.)
The problem is this security guard told everyone he saw in the park what happened. As he tells the story again and again I think Molly and me get a little more dangerous and crazy each time. This of course added to this mans hysteria. So I am freaking out a bit today.

Anyway Molly has taught me to be more patient, more loving, less angry, more forgiving and to understand that sometimes mental problems are not so easy to overcome.
Those kind of lessens you can’t buy anywhere.

I know, I guess the problem is all this gossip. I have people that I was friendly with that now give me dirty looks when they see me. I have people still come up to my wife and say, oh I heard you had to get rid of one of your dogs.I go to work, I come home and stay to myself. I dont really get involved with anyone ( unless someone needs help or something)We have heard people talking about the vicious dog on 4th street ( they dont know it is us) and this thing with Molly happened over three years ago.It is still talked about and that makes people more prone to over-react I think. I just dont want anymore gossip about me. It is un-nerving because I am powerless over gossip and the stories.

OK. You made mistake in management. While this has to be hugely stressful for you, I want you to know that what you are going through is pretty common. We manage our aggressive dogs so that they don't have opportunities to be aggressive. This is a pretty essential part of the treatment of these dogs. It helps to keep them from practicing the behavior and also lowers the dog's stress level in general.

Sometimes we make mistakes in judgement--a gate is left open, a door unlocked--and an accident happens.

The good news is that your dog had every opportunity to kill that dog because you had to pull her off. Yes, I am sure that you are fast, but if you had to pull her off, she already had made contact. So, for whatever reason, she was inhibited on that day. That is a silver lining. In addition, the man wasn't hurt. A second gift.

I meet nice people every day who have dogs who get out and do harm--worse than yours. These are good dogs who make mistakes. I was telling my client yesterday (the dog got out and bit a person who was walking a dog) that if I was condemned for all of my mistakes, I wouldn't have made it past high school.

The truth is in the lesson that you learned. You are a responsible owner and will make sure that this doesn't happen again.

As for getting people not to gossip about you, when you find out the secret, let me know.

Actually it looks like Molly did get a bite in. When I got home there was a vet bill from the owner for 219.00.I did check his dog out after the fight and did not see anything but that does not mean he did not have a mark.I am no expert. I called the vet but did not get to speak to her but the Receptionist said the dog did have a puntcure wound. The owner is a bit evasive when I speak to him and those most I can get out of him is the dog is on his medication. I have payed the bill of course. It was my fault after all. I just hope that nothing else will come of it. My resources are low at the moment dealing with Rock and I am not sure how I could front the cost if I need to defend Molly.
As for rumors, well they can be pretty dangerous. Rock is considered an outlaw too and he would not hurt a fly. The more they go on though( rumors), the worse they can get. Just ask any pitbull that is being killed based on his looks.I don't want that to happen to Rock just because he is a bullmastiff.

Actually it looks like Molly did get a bite in. When I got home there was a vet bill from the owner for 219.00.I did check his dog out after the fight and did not see anything but that does not mean he did not have a mark.I am no expert. I called the vet but did not get to speak to her but the Receptionist said the dog did have a puntcure wound. The owner is a bit evasive when I speak to him and those most I can get out of him is the dog is on his medication. I have payed the bill of course. It was my fault after all. I just hope that nothing else will come of it. My resources are low at the moment dealing with Rock and I am not sure how I could front the cost if I need to defend Molly.
As for rumors, well they can be pretty dangerous. Rock is considered an outlaw too and he would not hurt a fly. The more they go on though( rumors), the worse they can get. Just ask any pitbull that is being killed based on his looks.I don't want that to happen to Rock just because he is a bullmastiff.

This is definitely bad news. If the bill was that low, the bite was minor.

Please don't worry about Rock. He has not been in any incidents.

I want to point out one more thing--that all of this is public record. If you do go to court, all of this will be easy to find. I don't know what that means for Molly because I am not a lawyer, but I thought that I would point it out.

I had a talk with this old man, explianed how serious I take being responsible for a pet and I paid his bill. He told me not to worry, it was an accident and it is OK. We shook hands and I thought the matter closed.
He then went and called animal control. AC never visited me, they just sent me a notice to appear in court to pay fines for an unlicensed dog. So now I am going to court.

it was the same thing with the guy that had his dog off leash when it attacked my dog.Im sorry his dog was killed, it was terrible thing but he told me it was his fault, his dog was off leash and he was responsible. The he held his hand up to the sky and said he followed Jesus and Jesus forgives and so will he. The very next day he called the police, animal control and park security. Not sure why so many men renege on their word. I was taught that your word should be your bond.
Anyway a couple of years ago there was a neighbor that had two dogs. These dogs were kept outside in a cage. The neighbor would leave every friday and return monday or tuesday. The problem was this woman would not leave food or water or shelter. I tried to buy the dogs, I even bought the dogs an igloo dog house, tried to befriend the person. I got nowhere in helping these dogs. So I took picutres, kept a journal, took half a day off and went to meet with our animal control. I explained that for three days a week ( on the weekends ) these dogs are without food and water, come tuesday or wednesday the owner is back and she then gives them water and food.
So what happens? AC shows up on a wednesday, sees there is food and water and tells the owner if she goes away on the weekends to lock the dogs in her shed.She locked those dogs in the shed 24 hours a day and they never came out again. They lived right next door and you cannot believe how much I suffered emotionally over seeing this day after day. It was the biggest nightmare of my life.

I made complaints with animal rights groups againts our animal control. It became my word against theirs and it went nowhere.

Long story short, they do not like me at all, so I am very worried anytime I get onto their radar.

Thank you.I will keep you posted. I pray they dont come after Molly. Molly has one thing going for her. A human that is willing to stand in front of her and fight for her.
Adoption is for life, thats my commitment and I will go down with the ship, I wont surrender and I will protect her until the end..whatever that may be.
Molly did not display this aggression at least that I could see until she became real comfortable. I really do not know if I would have taken her on had I known...maybe..maybe not but she is with me now and I have to do my best.