The Last Trial

I knew I was surrounded by negativity but I had no idea just how much it was and who was really the most sociopathic person in my life.
People are always showing you who they are and sometimes we don’t accept what we are actually seeing. We make excuses for the people we love, the ones we want most to have in our lives. There are those people who show us they are parasites and we try to imagine that they are not.
Like a tick, an insect that feeds on the blood of its host, it has certain behaviors that are unique to the species. The way it crawls, the way it seeks the warmest place on our body, the way it burrows it’s head into our skin and grows fat. It may even transmit a painful disease and cause much suffering. We may have a person like this in our life. We may see the signs that reveal what this person actually is but we may be in denial. We may be afraid of being abandoned or of “losing” this person so we fool ourselves into believing we are seeing something else, like a lady bug instead of a parasitic tick. We may truly believe that our relationship is healthy and stable. Maybe we are protecting this person. We can only do this for so long. Eventually we will see that this ladybug doesn’t actually have wings. We have never actually seen her fly. And those spots on her back, well, there’s really only just one. And ladybugs don’t bite, do they? Because this one is burying it’s head into my skin and has been steadily feeding on me. Wait, this isn’t a ladybug! This is a tick!
What do you do when you realize that someone in your life is not who you thought they were and they’ve actually been harming you? You’ve been allowing yourself to be used, abused, hurt. Once you see it, you cannot unsee it and action must be taken.
Sociopaths and narcissists do not like it when you tell them no and set boundaries on them. Do you have someone in your life who you suspect might be a narcissist or a sociopath? Try setting a boundary with them and see how they respond. This is what I did with the person I loved most in my life and I was devastated. I can no longer allow this person to dominate me. I had to take serious steps to remove this person from my life and let them know that their behavior is not ok with me and our sick relationship is over.
I can’t even tell you how painful it is to realize how much energy I had invested in them and how much damage that I allowed to be done to me. There is an excruciating feeling of cognitive dissonance when the truth comes into the light. The pain of realizing how things actually are and how they’ve always been and that you just didn’t realize before is a process that must be felt through. I believe that this might have been the final test. This is the last person I wanted to leave behind. I tried to bring them with me into my new life and now I see them trying to plant their destructive roots in my new life and I won’t have it. As much as I loved them, I can’t let them destroy what I’ve worked so hard to create.
Seeing the way they actually are also makes me realize how much they contributed to the damage that was done to me in the past. I feel pain in my back, migraines, mood swings, and confusion when I am around this person. This doesn’t happen when I’m away from them. Their energy makes me ill because they are literally taking my life force from me.
When you know something is poison, you stay away from it. Some people are poison, and when we love ourselves and we want to live, we stay away from them. We must let them go.
Even if they are our adult children.