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The Spaceman Cometh

The publication date of my third novel, The Amish Spaceman, is approaching rapidly, and in fact, will happen within the next few days. Not since Halley’s Comet crossed the skies of 1986 have so many people been excited for something so small and insignificant, but let history be the judge of that, not me. If history wants to be unkind it won’t bother me a bit. Please take a drink of this grape Kool-Aid first, history. I agree, it does have a funny taste, but that’s city water for you. Oh! You mean funny as in ‘strange,’ not ‘funny’ like Richard Simmons. I’ll tell you who’s funny––you are, history. Watch out, he’s going to hit the coffee table.

We buried history in the back garden.

The Amish Spaceman is first in a new series of novels and stars Dean Cook, an unsuccessful motivational speaker. In an attempt to raise his profile and possibly be hired for a national tour, he’s weaseled his way into a speaking slot at the National Motivational Speaker’s Conference. His girlfriend shreds all of his ID cards, however, and Dean is forced to steal a camper/converted ambulance in an attempt to make it to the conference in Charleston, West Virginia in three days. Accompanied by his personal assistant and a runaway bride from Kamchatka, Dean is pursued by the girl’s Russian mafia boss fiance and his parents, who will stop at nothing to finally throw Dean a party that doesn’t end in complete disaster. Because, after all, it’s Dean’s birthday.