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Usually, I don't recall my dreams. The ones I do recall, I am being chased, I'm looking for a clean bathroom to relieve myself, or I'm wandering around a huge mall looking for someone. Monday, I woke up and vividly remembered my dream.

I was on fire. Driving. Gushes of fire intermittently came from the left. And yet I kept driving through. My foot on the accelerator. My face got burned. My legs. Finally, I rolled out of the car. But when I did. I sensed hesitation from the bystanders to help me. So, I kept burning limply. My face was burned the most. At first I was irritated. "Why isn't someone doing anything to help me?!" But after a minute, I felt a sense of relief. Like, this is how I look now. This is what I am. And I woke up.

Anyone know anything about dreams? I looked it up online. My findings said that dreams about being burned in fire meant the dreamer's temper was getting out of control. I recall a conversation that happened Sunday evening and I suppose yes, I am mad. There are so many more things that I wanted to express but I held it in. As usual. Two days later, I'm ill. Still burning.

I remember the first blog I started said "A girl whispering into the wind" in the header because I felt like I was talking out loud to no one in particular. A small voice that would be drowned out in the maelstrom that is the world wide web. I didn't expect anyone to read my blog. I actually did not want my friends to read it. Because it allowed me total freedom. I didn't have to worry about offending anyone.

And the few blogs that I did follow? I stalked silently with nary a comment. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert. Maybe it's because I'm a pessimist, but while everyone is putting themselves out there wanting to connect with someone, I kept to the sidelines and remained a bystander.

Why didn't I share my two cents? Demonstrate a little, "Props to you! I'm really glad you're sharing this." I know that I'm not an expert in anything. Why should you listen to me? But karma is a real B____.

No matter. Here I am if you want a little something to tickle your ears. And if you have any blogs that you'd recommend, lemme know in the comments section.

This is another analogy of mine about guys and relationships. Sheesh, how many do I have of these?

It all started in the 4th grade. When self-consciousness crept in on everyone. Growing pains hit and I started losing my baby fat. Suddenly, boys started treating me differently. Whispers of crushes were everywhere or I'd catch a classmate staring at me for a second too long. What happened to these guys?! Why couldn't we all just be friends?

And my girlfriends were in on it too. If they caught me talking to a guy, they would tease me and say, "Oooooh, you have a crush on _______!" I really hated that. And since then, I vowed to treat all guys the same. I sort of carry this philosophy of not playing favorites with everything, but especially my shoes. As you can see, I have quite a number of them.

Lately, I feel incompetent as a female. Like a hungry female lion that grew up in a zoo and doesn't know how to hunt. I feel stupid for not having this skill that seems so innate to others. I'm frustrated with myself and I know that from the outside, it looks pitiful too. A starving lion that seemingly has all the tools and resources to be gorging on human flesh. If only I knew how to hunt.