You’re Killing Me!

I thought you might want to know that I found another one, and it’s even worse. Because it appears to be intentional.

This is an actual billboard. One of many. Too many.

I’ll apologize right now for the quality of the photo. I blame my husband. It’s not actually his fault, of course, but it has been a really long time since I’ve blamed him for anything. I don’t want him to think that I have forgotten about him.

Anyway. I die inside a little every time I see this billboard. It says “Goodbye Neglect. Hello Respect.” For the love of grammar, how much can a comma possibly cost? I’ll donate one for each sentence that is an ice pick to my eye. Oh, wait. That’s all of them.

Technically, these sentences are correct. If “Goodbye” is a verb. And if people who use cell phones talk like cave people. Seriously. Why leave the ever useful point-and-grunt behind if you can’t communicate a thought more effectively?

Sorry, Thag. No cell phone for you until you quit trying to conjugate a noun. You’re grounded like Pangea, little caveman.

I worked for an advertising agency that had the account for Blue Runner Beans. (Might be just a Louisiana thing, but they’re HUGE down here. Anyway…) The ad genius came up with the slogan
“Real Good. Real Fast.”
It’s on TV commercials, billboards, print ads. It’s everywhere. And it makes me cringe every time I see it.

I just wrote a piece on the use of “affect” vs. “effect.” I sigh every time I witness a grammatical error, but as someone in the ad industry, it makes me cringe to see it on public display. (I see this billboard on my daily drive to work)

And to top it off, I used to have U.S. Cellular as my cellular provider…

Aside from the grammatical errors. this ad doesn’t even make sense. It’s like they just made up some words on their way to the billboard printing press. Does the phone respect you? Who’s neglecting who?