Your post reminded me (don't ask for the neural pathway on this one) of a game we used to play on the way home from fishing trips in the car. While the idea was to pass the time and keep dad awake, it did make us laugh a lot.

What "combos" would cause the most bone-searing, heart-pounding, mind-blowing heart burn?

There are no hard and fast rules on how to play... you can get creative with this (Chris? I'll bet you have some interesting ideas) or keep it simple. Here's a few examples:

1. 7-Eleven 1/4 lb. Spicy Big Bite, and a Welch's Grape Soda

2. Hostess Raspberry Pie and a 16 oz. Clamato

3. Slim Jim and a Strawberry YooHoo

4. Two Jack-in-the-Box Tacos with Ranch dressing, and a diet Red Bull

5. Blue Gatorade and a McGriddle

6. Anything with a LOT of tarragon...

...you get the idea. If you want to put a holiday or a fish theme on it, that's fine. Have fun.

The Tijuana Mama, available at most AM/PM/76 petroleum/fine dining franchises.

As if mystery meat wasn't enough of a culinary Matterhorn, the fine folks at Penrose and ConAgra have conspired to bring you this hybrid Frankenstein monster of junk food. Not content with a plastic-encased Weiner, they pickled the darn thing and peppered it, too. Yes folks, it’s the gift that gives TWICE!

What sort of beverage would compliment such a consumable, unholy spawn of Oscar Meyer? I propose this:

A cooled (not iced) cup of mini-mart coffee. Set it on a bait-encrusted pier railing for an hour and wash down coagulated greasy bites of the Tijuana Mama and you will belch flame like the dragon in Fantasmic.

I had some Dave's at Berkeley to spice up my chili at one of the MMD's. I tried to warn one guy but he told me he ate it all the time. Next thing I knew, his girlfriend told me he was sitting in his chair crying! (Sorry if you're reading this, but it really was funny.)

On second thought, if I had a mother from Tijuana, I'd be pretty steamed that they named this gas-stop insult of a pickled sausage after her, especially when I got a chance to see how it looked out of the wrapper. I mean, does this look like your momma (Note: Keep all obvious sophomoric responses to yourself)?

What's next? A Miso-flavored, Kawasaki Mommy sausage? We should be so lucky.

I'm sure that the think tank at ConAgra was working overtime when they came up with this little slice of political correctness:

Check out the graphic- the same on both except for the hat, hair and neckline. Thanks for the effort.

Just about everything gives me heart burn. But, an anchovie omlette with a spicy bloody mary backer is always my down fall. That's why I've stopped eating that combo. Now I just drink bourbon for breakfast and everything is just beautiful.

I also saw a lovely concoction of french fries covered with chili, nacho cheese sauce, sour cream, jalapenos, pickles and ketchup. They should have called it the "Garbage Disposal"._________________Joining UPSAC is is a step forward for the future of pier and shore fishing!