Facebook Beats Google+ with New Virtual Feature

When Google+ entered the social networking wars, an annoyed Mark Zuckerberg knew he had to step up Facebook’s game.

“Google+ has circles,” Zuckerberg said, “The only thing I hate more than circles is Aaron Sorkin dialogue. We need a new feature that Google+ can’t possibly compete with.”

So Facebook designers came up with a virtual teleportation device that allowed users to have a virtual 3-D experience where they felt like they were actually with their friends in a Facebook virtual lounge. The 3-D lounge allowed users to post pictures, videos, music, anything at all that was related to their interests, all in virtual 3-D.

“I’d like to test the as of now unnamed 3-D virtual teleportation lounge,” an employee said.

“It’s not called The As of Now Unnamed 3-D Virtual Teleportation Lounge,” Zuckerberg corrected. “It’s called As of Now Unnamed 3-D Virtual Teleportation Lounge.”

A 3-D goggle (not google) was fitted to the volunteer’s head, and his Facebook page was updated. With a click of a button, the volunteer was virtually teleported to Facebook’s As of Now Unnamed 3-D Virtual Teleportation Lounge.

Within a few seconds the volunteer turned off the device, yanked off the goggles, and stepped back, obviously shaken by the experience.

“Didn’t it work?” Zuckerberg asked.

“It worked too well,” the volunteer rasped. “I was bombarded with friends, their photos, music, movies, everything, all at once and in 3-D. It was just like being with my family and friends all at once.”

“Then what’s wrong?” Zuckerberg demanded.

“The whole reason I use Facebook,” the volunteer said, shaking his head, “is that I can’t stand being around most of my family and friends.”