Last Friday with my therapist she helped me mediate. Let me tell you it was so calming and relaxing. Now I have tried to mediate in the past but it did not work but with the help of my therapist it was amazing.

Everything was relaxed. The reason why I started to mediate was because I suffer from depression and I am really scared about taking medication. I come from a family of drug addicts and it scares me to get hooked on any type of drug. So I want to find more natural ways of helping with my depression rather than taking medications. Mediation is really good for the body and it helps me with my anxiety.

There are different ways to mediate. Do some research and find what works best for you. As for me. I don’t need music. The lights have to be dimmed down low. I have to guide myself into it with deep breaths starting wth my feet and working my way up to my head. This relaxes each part of my body.I also say breath in love and acceptance and breath out pain and anger. I stay in a relaxed state for about 5-10mins.

Give mediation a try. Relax your mind and body.

Ébony

ps,

Buddha was asked what have you gained from mediation?

He replied “Nothing! However let me tell you what I have lost. Anger, anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear of old age and death.”

Morning Loves. Happy Saturday. I hope that you have an amazing day. I hope you are feeling yourself today.

A friend of mines is going through some relationship troubles right now. She asked me to write about it for her on my post for today because she felt that I gave her some good advice. Throughout her whole spiel. The main thing that stuck out from what she was telling me was that he did not respect her because if he did he would show it.

I can tend to be a little blunt when I am giving friends relationship advice. I am this way because I don’t want to sugar coat anything. I feel like people pacify these things. You need to be direct and you need to be honest.

RESPECT!! You deserve it.

If they don’t respect you. LEAVE!! If they don’t respect you relationship LEAVE!!

“I can’t control your behavior; nor do I want that burden… but I will not apologize for refusing to be disrespected, to be lied to, or to be mistreated. I have standards; step up or step out.”

-Steve Maraboli

One thing I learned is that if you don’t have respect for yourself no one will!!

Demand Respect in your relationship.

Same thing goes for the people that don’t treat your love one with respect. YOU NEED TO END IT.

Last night I was watching the ending of the movie The Help. Which is a good movie by the way. I hope you have seen it. Well in the movie Viola Davis character stated, “No one ever asked me what is it like to be me?”

That profound statement stuck to me. What is it like to be you? BE ME? I would think that I had some profound answer to this question but honestly I do not. You know why? Because I never asked myself that question.

To my readers what is it like to be you? Do you have any profound answers? I would love to know. Leave a comment please and thank you. One thing I would suggest is to be honest with yourself. Sometimes truth hurts but it can also make you realize a lot of things in your life.

Today I want you remind you that you have a voice and that its in your right to use it. Some of us for to long felt like we didn’t have a voice. Let me remind you that you DO.

I know what its like to not to use your voice. I was in that predicament for years. Just taking and taking and never ever speaking up. Until one day I did. I took back my voice. I spoke up about everything that hurt me and that no longer benefitted me. So take back your voice and speak up.

I love this quote above. I do not know about you but I’m far from perfect. But I can tell you I get up everyday and I work hard to be a better me.

You know how I do this? By putting effort into growing. I put the effort into being a better person than who I was yesterday. It doesn’t have to be a big effort but something small. I will give you an example. I’m not going to lie I am one of those people that will curse you out if you drive slow, cut me off, don’t signal and and pull out in front of me just to go slow. Instead of cursing to show my frustration. I just take a second, breathe and let it go. Something as small as taking a breath helps me. I put effort into reminding myself that that’s not the type of person I want to be.

Bring the effort to everything you want to do in your life. Please do not be one of those people that say I’m putting effort and nothing is happening, but in your heart you know your not. You won’t see change unless you work at it. In a earlier post I mentioned how we are like gardens. If we don’t water our garden it won’t grow. Think of the water as your effort. If you don’t bring the effort everyday you won’t see any change.

If you want to become a better person. You have got to put forth the effort.

Today lets talk about being single. Have you ever told someone that your single and they give you the look like what’s wrong with you? Or the look of pity. Honestly I hate those freaking looks. I also hate the “let’s set you up with someone” line. I think that is so rude. Your basically telling me that there is something wrong with being single. I understand your heart might be in the right place. There is this stigma around being single. Oh wait there’s more being a “black woman” and single is the worst. I swear black men look at me like I am crazy or something. It’s like have a sign on my forward saying “she’s black and single she must be crazy”. That’s not even the case.

Bottoms line there is nothing wrong with be single. There is nothing wrong with be one with yourself. Being in a relationship requires a lot of time and energy. Don’t be in a relationship if your not ready.

I am okay with being single. Don’t get me wrong it bothers me when I am the fifth wheel when I go out with my friends (two of my friends are married). It bothers me not having that person waiting on the other end to cheer you up after a long day at work. It bothers me when I have no date to the movies so I go alone. Noticed I stated it “bothers me”. It’s not the end of the world. I will be okay. Why? Because I know God has an amazing man set aside for me. I trust that when the time is right God will reveal him to me.

Being single is probably the best thing you can do for yourself. Take this time to know what you want. Take this time to work on yourself. Take this time to discover new things. Take this time to be happy! Again there is nothing wrong with being single!

Happily Single,

Ebony Monae 💘

ps,

Being single is not a status but a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life WITHOUT depending on others💕