Does anyone remember Tia Tequila?Â Pretty, petite, bisexual reality show star of yesteryear who has a habit of getting herself into (and out of) situations so unbelievably bizarre that they could only be publicity stunts. (Well, they might be the result of some sort of voodoo curses, or maybe really, really bad luck. Â No, nobody’s that unlucky.)Â Anyhow, Tia Tequila is back.Â And, as usual, she’s at the center of a big hot mess.

According to Radar Online, Tequila, nee Thien Nguyen, has been formally accused of kidnapping and extortion by someone named Garry Sun whose only apparent claim to fame (other than the atypical spelling of his first name) is being Tila Tequila’s ex-boyfriend.Â A dubious distinction to be sure. Â And hardly an exclusive one.Â On October 26th, Sun requested a restraining order against Tequila claiming she kidnapped his current girlfriend, porn star Shyla Jennings, and flew her from Texas to L.A. (for storage no doubt).Â Sun alleges Tequila then showed up at his house with “4 armed men with guns threatening to kill me and…my fatherâ€¦who was home.”Â Wow!Â Who knew sexy, ditzy little Tia Tequila was such a public enemy? Â Sun claims the “event later led to extortion in order to save my life.”

The above bizarre narrative raises several questions. Â Why didn’t Sun call the police immediately?Â Why did he wait a week and then only file a restraining order? Â Unless her defunct reality show made Tequila rich enough to buy a private jet, how on earth was she able to fly a kidnap victim from Texas to L.A. (or anywhere else for that matter)?Â And what about the 4 armed men?Â They must have been serious Tia Tequila fans to help her commit a federal crime.Â Or perhaps they were members of the Parents’ Television Council trying to stamp out pornography one porn star at a time. Â Right.

It’s understandable that Ms. Tequila (and other faded reality stars) would try to extend or renew their already bygone fifteen minutes, but this is lucdicrous. Â Perhaps Ms. Tequila and her publicist should rethink their current attention garnering strategies.