What should the Instant Regret Kit design be?

All right, we renamed the Fuko as the Instant Regret Kit (IRK). Now we need to figure out what to put on the bag it comes in.

You can design something or sketch something if that’s your thing, but feel free to just describe something if that’s easier. Once we figure out one (or more) ideas we like, we’ll work with an illustrator to make the actual design.

Maybe Irk vomiting into a bag, as the bottom of the bag falls out? (Hence, the instant regret of not picking / receiving a better bag?)
Random items falling out of the bottom of the bag, i.e. the possible contents of the Instant Regret Kit…
And yes, even a baby arm, possibly throttling Glen.

The contents falling out of the bag could change with each IRK.
I’m voting for the first IRK to have a jumble of the 50 user names of the folks whose ideas were chosen for the IRK falling out the bottom of the saggy bag.

A random menagerie of meh’s user names. Change it up for every new IRK bag so even more people can be pissed off when they finally get a bag but it doesn’t have their name on it. (And of course a tiny little Irk image in the corner.)

A guy, who’s clearly irked, standing in his front doorway, looking at a flaming ‘The Instant Regret Kit’ on his welcome mat. Irk is hiding in the bushes, laughing. Get it? It’s like a flaming bag of crap. Get it?

Irk looking frustrated, with a bunch of junk in front of him, trying to make sense of it all. Kind of like Al Bundy assembling a bike without the manual. Irk would be trying to use all of the items in the kit (new fuku) to make something fabulous, but it just wouldn’t work. Maybe some glue, or duct/scotch tape holding together some random loot items.

Picture your last Fuku (if you’ve gotten one). Now try and MacGyver the shit out of that.

I suck at sketching, but I gave it a try anyway. Basically, make it a wooden crate with stench lines and flies coming out of it, a sad Irk sticker slapped on the side of the crate, with a pile of poo on the ground next to it. Or perhaps it’s a brown Devo hat, you really can’t tell with my lack of artistic ability, can you?

well, this is what I was thinking. perspective from bottom of box looking up at some dude in agony opening up his box of crap. here’s kind of what I was thinking but needs more perspective and yea…more talent.

It’s a shot from inside a living room with the point of view angled at the entrance. A beautiful woman, with a packed rolling suitcase, is opening the door to leave in a state of angered haste. Closer to the camera is Irk, sitting with his legs stretched out and a sad, disappointed look on his face. Near him is a tattered open box, and a couple of random, low-quality items strewn about the floor. I mean like the worst of the worst that has ever appeared on this site, such as some 12-year-old speaker docks, low-quality Meh-branded wearables, broken glass, a smartwatch box with a “return” sticker on it, a small pile of expired candy, and of course, a puke-green TIRK bag. Maybe Irk is also holding something, like a broken headset with a dangling ear cup. In the background, you can see a dog urinating onto a curtain.

PS: posting this for a friend. It’s not like any of this is from personal experience or anything…

Have a picture of irk’s head (straight on facing) with small hands offering a box with a question mark on it or simply “IRK”. Could mix it up and have different symbols for different iterations such as different punctuations, numbers, or misc symbols on them. (Schrodingers cat comes to mind as a neat idea).

What about a timer with digital readout of 00:00:00.01 AM to show the time you must have placed your order to have gotten it? (I may be a little bitter since I have tried and failed many times to order one)

Since it’s a kit for Instant Regret, Maybe box like an In Case of Fire box, but this would be a break in case of instant regret. Inside is Irk with tissues in one hand and chocolate in the other. And a baby arm attached with a chain to break the glass .

Irk gets nightly deals and gives customers curb service —well He gets the items from the cans people put out by their curbs at their homes.
Thus Irk standing with a garbage can maybe label the can instead of meh nightly deal to Instant regrets
[1]:

Irk looking very embarrassed with his head down and not making eye contact, a wad of cash in his outstretched left hand passing to an unseen figure out of frame and a suspicious looking package being passed back to him.

A cardboard box that has been fancied up to look like pandora’s box. It has been opened, but rather than smoke it’s just a bunch of dust to signify how old and crappy the contents are. The dust is surrounding IRK and meh.com.

@2many2no@mehbee@ruouttaurmind With the T-bird, you first take a few sluges, then crack open a DOnald Duck Grapefruit Juice and pour it into the bottle, cap, shake, and re-open… consume. MMMMMmmmmmmm! Drink INSIDE a dumpster for ambiance!

How about irk waking up in bed next Glen (or some other instantly regrettable decision, maybe a vacuum or another poor purchase). You can throw in some sticks of butter since butter makes everything better. Facepalm and irk saying “not again”

When I think of the word “instant” I think of instant oatmeal (and camping), so I’m thinking of the image of a halfway torn open packet marked with IRK with the contents being dumped into a large MEH mug. Maybe some steam coming up and maybe a spoon.

Kiss it. Just a big elegant meh logo, with much smaller “Instant Regret Kit” text beneath it. I think a new pin-back badge and an unintelligible assembly directions sheet for each outing would not be bad, but why gild the lily.

Irk getting inked with varying bad tattoos: Misspellings, tats in unadvisable locations (i.e. the ol’ lightening bolt on the man member), detailed face of Cher…make the tat design. For example, this week it could be a Lebron tat in a Cavs uni.

Oh, had another idea - the Meh face, but with a single tear dripping down its face, above a simple-fonted Instant Regret Kit. Irk’s face would work too, but personally, I think it’s better as a subtler pun rather than “Yeah, it spells out IRK! You know! This guy!”

On one side of the bag is printed the Meh logo and in the bottom corner Irk is doing his Irk thing, normal and happy like.

On the other side is printed with stacked words “Instant Regret Kit”, the capitalized letters distinguished in some way, and in the corner Irk is straight up lying on the floor, perhaps in a pool of his own tears, perhaps dead.

Have IRK written in pieces (broken and sketchy) and say something like IRK your 1/2 ass steal (picture of 1/2 a donkey looking tired and exhausted) is now pumped (picture of a ripped, muscled-up donkey) to be a complete dumb ass steal when you get two for Tuesday.

Ahem. To whom it Meh concern:
I suggested “Infinitely Regretful Kontent (IRK)” at 3am on Monday (go ahead and check, I’ll wait). While not an exact match for your admittedly much cooler final name, it is as best as I can tell the closest match of those submitted and quite possibly the inspiration needed for your decision. I’m not asking to be a chosen “winner” since having this as a tag line would be redundantly stupid, but can I get some recognition? A Fuku bag would be just dreamy!

@djsteve Dang, I have the best one for this too… Irk looking into a white paper bag rather regretfully… The logo on his bag is an image of the same thing… repeats indefinitely like Irk regret bag-ception.

How about some blatant copyright infringement of the Amazon smile logo? Just turn the smile into a disappointing frown. Once the Amazon lawyers contact you, you should also have instant regret. It’s doubly regrettable.

Greek columns in the background that spell out IRK.
Irk is in the foreground center, wearing philosopher’s robes looking sad but thoughtful. Below him in dictionary font is written:
regret \ ri-ˈgret \ - sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one’s control or power to repair.

Regret of not getting is as bad if not worse than regret of getting sometimes. So bag needs to have a captcha screen asking to click on the “store fronts” but only have IRK faces, candy corn, speaker dock, knives, etc showing with no “store front” pictures to click on to prove you are not a robot. This because MEH insists we are robots and it is hard to prove otherwise when trying to purchase. Most seem to have regret whether they are able to buy or not be able to buy!

The bags should all have depictions (or descriptions) of first world problems on the outside, like not having enough room in your sports car to haul groceries, getting a sliver, or the WiFi going down. In comparison to all of these annoyances, the IRK would look like a blessing in comparison.

A 2-D box (square or rectangle) made of outline-drawn junk (banana peel, broken TV, 3 legged chair, toaster with a spring sticking out, meh face, baby arm, etc.) maybe with simple color fill in each. Inside, the words Instant Regret Kit, each on its own line, aligned on the left. Probably don’t want a font with too many curves, but perhaps one with decayed text? As on option, somewhere to the right of the words, either in or out of the box, Irk doing a facepalm like in the You Were Wrong video. Meh.com on the top or bottom – I think it could work either way.

So, I was thinking, maybe to let people know in advance how much they will regret it, that you tie together a biohazard sign, Mr Yuk, and Irk, something like this except maybe toy with the colors a bit to make it a 1 or 2 color print:

Glen as a full snake, coiled and holding a bag in front of him with his tail (like the snake in the picture, but with a bag, not an apple). Irk has been stuffed into the bag- you can tell because some part(s) of him are sticking out. The baby arm lies behind him, maybe gripping a knife.

What about if it was Irk in the middle of the bag half melted into a mass of candy corn that covers the bottom half of the bag. Along with a thought bubble coming from Irk that says “IRK”. Or even “IRK?!” Better yet it says “Here’s your IRK!”

Perhaps the newest incarnation of the bag could be reversible? On one side the Meh logo could be printed. Then on the reverse, the I.R.K. theme - be that something with the Irk logo or an amusing play on how trading our money for objects can be both pleasure and pain.

A stylized version of this image
With an cursing “IRK!” spewing from his mouth. Beneath the image this statement in Japanese “No… No you can’t get away. From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.”

Put Glen on the bag, for the irony that only Mehsters will get. It should be an Irk colored bag though.

Or to keep a theme going, random curse words in non-western scripts that will make the bags unusable in ethnic neighborhoods. Like Hebrew to make them completely unusable in New York, or Arabic to escalate already high tensions. Perhaps hieroglyphics, that would look cool and about 7 people in the world would be able to read it on the fly.

IRK holding a MEH bag like he is reaching out and handing it to someone labeled “Regret Kit”
and possibly under that in smaller letters either “Refurbished”, “Batteries Not Included” or “Assembly Required”

I’m going to be looking through these and working with our illustrator over the next couple weeks. Like with the name, I suspect we’ll pick several winners and see about making a few different bag designs. Feel free to keep voting on your favorites.

standard counselling mood faces chart, all irk faces with different emotions, middle one is regret/ragrets circled in red. or make irk expression the same for all the emotions if you want! + instant regret kit label and meh logo below

I’m thinking a morning after regret kind of situation. We would need an image of a disgusted, regretful Irk laying in bed with the covers pulled up in shame and Glen laying next to him with his goofy lookin ass.

new idea:
1.graphic of a instant scratch lotto card - card is labelled "win a meh-llion! scratch and match to win’ The scratch card “foil” is mostly scratched off and reveals little graphics of candy corn, a knife, a martian watch texting “meh”, Irk, Glenn, a goat, a poop emoji, a vip member badge, etc. There are no matches.

On the lower part of the scratch card graphic is a prize box that has been scratched. It says, "Sorry, you lose! Please buy again! meh.com (logo).

vegas style sign says “welcome to [script font) instant [big letter all caps] regret [little letters on bottom row] meh.com” or “welcome to meh.com mediocre labs”. Irk’s face can be in the center of the starburst at the top of the sign.

beneath the vegas sign, it can say
“what happens at meh never stays at meh” or “what happens at meh ships to you from meh” or “what we cant sell at meh ships to you from meh”