New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

Good morning Limes welcome I'm rather wondering what made you go in and get the sleeping pills under false pretences the day before mother's day? That would be what I would discuss with my sponsor. Thereafter, whether to share with the group or not is between you, your God and your sponsor.Good luck and thank you very much for being open and honest and sharing with us. Its a new day with new promises. Make the best of it.Lotsa loveNoels

Honesty is in place for a reason and it is up to you to do what is right because you thought this who deal out before you reacted and most likely never called anyone about this idea. It has been my experience that if I think through these thoughts that can come to us all then I we have choices. Oh we do have free will and we can use it as with every action is the reaction.

With everything there is the root cause on why you needed to do what you did, and first off you have to deal with starting over and getting this behind you and the rest will eventually fall into place. It is called one day at a time for a reason and we have to accept life on it's terms and do our part.

So speaking to your sponsor first would be wise and then your home group as you aren't the first person to step out and you won't be the last I can assure you of this. It takes guts to admit negative points and it takes guts to make it right via staying sober.

Go on today and do the best you can and try not to dwell on what can not be done and dwell on what can be done.

Smile and try to find the silver lining today.

Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day. George Allen, Sr.

Hi and welcome! I am glad you posted this. We had a lady who had over a couple of years clean and came across some pain killers prescribed for another person and took some. She came back in and said she had a new sobriety date. It was really devastating for her. She usually goes to other groups, so I don't see her often and don't know her well enough to ask her directly about it, but I hope the public admission lifted a weight off her and she has accepted this. My recommendation is to share this with your sponsor and see what he/she has to say. I wish you all the best! Larry

I have decided to tell my Sponser and go from there. Going to call at lunch time. You guys are right, as my head is clearing up and reading this I was reminded that this is truly a life and death situation.

I am lucky things did not go side ways for me on Sunday. I don't remember the entire day basically and I was driving for a lot of it. I was spared yet again for something which could have been devestating.

I am now looking forward to sharing this at meetings and feeling like I have the " guts" to be honest.

I'm very thankful again for the reply. Although this is just text forum it really helped.

Edit** Noels I actually have no idea what made me do it. Perhaps complacency? My mother is an amazing women and I love her so much. She raised me sternly but lovingly lol. I did not think of anyone or anything else when I went for the pills. Just thought it would be ok. I think I may have needed this, although unessesary and deadly. I'm just glad my life is still in tact. I am still very much afraid of what I am capable of.

Noels I actually have no idea what made me do it. Perhaps complacency?

Yeah the blank spot the book talks about over and over again.

This part of Fred story:

I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self- knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was the crushing blow.

Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

In my community we tend to talk about the Step that coincides with the month, 5th Month is 5th Step.

The 12 & 12 says, about the 5th Step, that "scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one." (pg 53).

This is a program about alcoholism ~ do pills matter? If I planned to change my consciousness and then acted on that plan, whether with pills or alcohol, I would probably tell my community & change my sobriety date. I would want all the help I could get! OH ~ and I would not want to wait until I was coming up on a 5 year chip to confess that it was really only 4 years.

I can tell you that for me losing my deep dark secrets was really a load off my mind. I no longer had to feel separate from my fellows inside and outside the meeting rooms. I no longer had to "keep up appearances" and struggle to live up to my own expectations. I could look people in the eye when my side of the street was clean. This is all about losing the ego - and your problem seems that you don't want to LOOK different to your fellows. Trust me, someday the truth about your life will save the life of another alcoholic.

If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php

Ask during your meditations for courage and guidance.I've experienced how the ISM pride/self-will wants to take over and how I used (still do sometimes) to want people to see me differently than who I really am. But, I no longer want to lead a Double Life. I just can't in sobriety. Secrets keep me sick and the only way to freedom, permanent sobriety, and happiness is to live honestly with no skeletons in the closet.

"We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Step 5 becomes a lifetime practice with Steps 10 & 11.