Monthly Archives: June 2012

So, I battle writer’s block. Each morning, I sit in front of the computer….. blank. Words haven’t flowed for two weeks. I blink…… to force back the tears…. the frustration….. the disappointment.

My friend’s words echo, “You can’t do it all.” I’ve sighed with each blink. Doing it all….. ha. All hasn’t been done in a long while. And thanks to the sermon on Sunday, I worry if I am not spiritually asleep. I fit the profile…. tired, tired, tired. Then that makes my heart break…… ((sigh))

Yesterday was no exception. I sat here and stared at the screen. Nothing came. I grabbed my camera and flew out the door hoping that the heat of this summer morning would inspire me.

Nothing.

Nope.

In fact, two minutes outside, already drenched, I headed back in to accept the fact words were not coming.

I visited those inspiring websites of other Christian women. Found nothing. I sought inspiration at the clothes line. God and I have so many good ideas out there. All I found was how quickly the clothes dried and how fast I got wet from the sweat.

This struggle so hard for me…..

I put the last clothespin on the line and walked over to the Diva Coop. There my girls are busy clucking and pecking.

Liz Taylor, the solid black hen, met me at the door. She is such a hoot to watch. She is the only one I have named so far. Liz Taylor suited her due to the performance she has everyday at the feeder. She lays back on her side and flaps her wing. She sends the others into the audience position. They watch and she performs until they have forgotten the feed and she can enjoy the feeder to herself. She’s good. Really she is…..

Before long all the girls have gathered near me. I wondered what life was like for a Diva Chick. Up at sunrise. Asleep at sundown. A great performance at the feeder. Then it struck….. much like my life.

I peaked into the nesting box of the coop. Found two perfect brown eggs. I sent out my usual, “Thank you, ladies” as I pulled out the two eggs. Another idea struck…. It isn’t the performance of the day that matters but what is produced.

Here recently, my “eggs” are cracked, malformed, and well, far from perfect. The thought of carrying on a plate several of my “eggs” shot chills into my heart. I can’t balance all those eggs on a small plate. They will fall and crack or break. Even with a basket, the weight of all those eggs will crack the ones at the bottom. Do I have a plate or too many eggs in my basket? Mark laughs at my big egg basket when I walk in with just one or two eggs in it. But they remain in perfect condition.

I heard on the news Monday morning the temperature in some parts of our wonderful state would be reaching the upper 90’s and 100 degree mark. I wanted to run straight to the thermometer and crack down the AC.

I controlled my wanting but I will say this…… this is the first year I can remember that I actually turned on the AC before June. We haven’t had much of a winter. Did we even have winter? Vaguely I remember pulling out a coat in December but for the most part….. I wore short sleeve shirts. Yep, come August I may be relocating to the North Pole. Move over Santa, Regina is moving in!!

A friend was joining us for dinner Monday and the thought of cooking in this kind of heat frightened me. Well, to be honest, slaving in the hot kitchen makes even the neatest hair style frizz not to mention melting the mascara into coon eyes. Frightening!!

So, I pulled out a cookbook and started flipping. I landed on an interesting recipe from a dear friend. We taught together at the …. what we lovingly call “the war zone”…. middle school. Anyway, I trust her and so I gathered the ingredients….

I threw the onion, garlic, cucumber, pepper and the tomatoes into the blender and took them for a spin.

I added a splash and a dash along with some tomato juice.

Stirred until it was the prettiest shade of red, chilled it and served with along with a green salad.

Funny….. I forgot to mention to everyone around the table that this soup was a cold soup. Bless their hearts….. perhaps, shame on me would be better….. their minds said “soup” and soup is supposed to be hot. Shocker when it turned out to be icebox cold!

The hammering, sawing, measuring insured their comfort while they stayed.

One, Two, Three coats of paint and the accommodations beautified.

It was time for the ladies to move into the Dettra abode.

Each dainty and timid in her own way. Beauty in the eyes of the beholder. Raw beauty. The deep coal eyes. The raven glamour, rustic charm and the freckled refinement outweighs their simplicity.

This weekend, we opened our hearts and our home to 6 beautiful ladies……..

They made their home……..

Our first fresh egg…..

Praise God….

We made the decision to have chickens a long while ago. The idea of feeding our children the hormones and eggs from “farm factories” scares me. So, we welcome home 6 divas. Mark researched and designed a coop and run to make their stay here as comfortable as possible. So far we haven’t heard any complaints. Funny though….. I was asked, “Are you going to eat your chickens?” I replied, “I do not eat family.”

My heart sank hearing those words. Have I done what I am supposed to do? Can I be doing more? Am I seeking something out of this? Questions flew in my mind….. Which ones are true and which ones are devil entangled insecurities?

Yesterday, I sat thinking and wondering. I was writing out invitations to the pity party.

Take a walk.

I felt the suggestion run through me.

I napped then went on with my day fighting the urge to address those invitations.

This morning, I felt a lull. I pulled out the invites and running through them…… low self-confidence, unworthiness, lonely, insecurity…… they were all there ready to party.

Take a walk.

In my most whine-filled voice I asked, “Really?”

Take a walk.

Ugh. Don’t you hate it when God tells you to do something productive?? Like a spoiled kid, I stomped down the hall and got ready to take the walk.

I reluctantly pulled on the clothes and found myself reaching for the TV remote.

Take a walk.

I grabbed my camera and went out the door.

Maybe I will find the much needed inspiration….. I mean, if God insists on me doing this and all…..

As I walked, I heard Ann Voskamp’s words, “Living a Thankfilled life.” So, alright, I thought I would snap a few photos of what I am thankful for today……..

Once I got home and started to edit….. look what wonders I captured…..

A bee and a couple of busy beetles….. reminds me of that verse….

Matthew 6:25-27“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

God provides. He always does……

Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than a half destroyed dandelion. It is broken, in shambles, but look at the wonder and beauty. God looks past the brokenness and sees the inner beauty.

The black-eyed Susans made me stop dead in my tracks. I thought of yesterday’s post and grandma. My heart ached for yester-year. But then, I am thankful for the sweet memories I can revisit often.

I had a blessed walk. No answers. No thrills. Just a sweet tender moment with God and His creations that I am so thankful for.