In our final set of season previews we look at the final seven teams for BeerandBoobs IV

Angry Dragons

Manager : Lee Cooper

Twitter : @bombuslucorum

Prediction : 8th

The Dragons have struggled recently to finish the season strongly and we don’t see anything in their pre-season preparations to suggest that they are ready to shrug off this peculiar malaise. In fact, for the first time ever since the inception of BeerandBoobs we foresee a play off possibly without the Dragons but we will hedge our bets an predict an 8th place finish. This prediction could of course be just the motivation their rotund, gammy kneed, follically challenged manager needs but seeing as he is spending the first two weeks of the season rubbing sun cream into Real manager Collins chest we feel confident their start will be as bad as their finish.

Coops Troops

Manager : Steve Cooper

Twitter : @steve­­_coops

Prediction : 7th

Globe Trotting playboy Cooper is expected to continue with his continent hopping lifestyle especially to visit his beloved ladyboy friend in Thailand (photographic evidence has been received and will be used in future blogs if the requisite payment is not received by the deadline) but we feel good things are due at Troops HQ. Last season the Troops finished well and at some point they will slip into contention for honours. We think they will be another side to profit from the downturn in fortunes predicted at Italian Job and the Dwarfs and a play-off place AND potential final will be no surprise to us.

Balo’s Firework

Manager Jamie Cavanagh

Twitter : @20jamiecav

Prediction : 21st

One of two late entries in the final days of the pre-season, as Steaua manager Moillitt press gangs two of his mates into the murky world of BeerandBoobs Fantasy Management. Jamie, by his own admission (according to Mollitt) tends to lose interest in his teams so many managers will be looking to the fixture lists when they are published to see where 6 easy points will be coming from. Of course some teams that are “under managed” can cause the odd upset (remember the DoomsDay Diva’s last season?) so some teams expecting an easy game may come a cropper, but from the information provided by Mollit we expect the Fireworks to be a bit of a damp squib and to finish barely above BareAssAlona.

Morgi’s Miracles

Manager : Morgi Gall

Twitter : @morgi23

Prediction : 20th

After the financial crisis resulted in the folding of the Kirali Girls the newly branded Miracles are the sole team managed by a girl. Morgi has the unfortunate chore of being married to Kev so managing her team is a welcome distraction. Always capable of an upset but never been known to mount a challenge to the main teams. In fact their results over the last two seasons suggest this is also a club in decline and although we always hope the long suffering wife of the aforementioned Greek midget has a good season the Miracles are not expected to trouble the top half of the table and a quite lowly finish is predicted.

Garbonzo FC

Manager : George Ainsworth

Twitter : @sworth7

Prediction : 12th

Introducing the second of the late applicants for this season’s campaign the team with the strangest name of all. Knowing what we know about Mr Ainsworth a look through a conventional dictionary for any kind of meaning would surely prove fruitless. Hence we turned to a more suitable resource, the Urban Dictionary. Sure enough we find the definition we were looking for. Garbonzo become the second team in the league to be named from the dictionary (the other being the Angry Dragons) all we can say is that if you are in the opposition dugout maybe a nose clip would be advisable lest George stick his knob up it if FC score!! George does apparently have a bit of pedigree in Fantasy Football and we believe a mid-table finish is well within their grasp in their first season. Managers you have been warned – Don’t get Garbonzo’d by George!

United by Fear

Manager : Carl Rimmer

Twitter : @monkeycloud4

Prediction : 16th

A enigmatic manager who is very difficult to predict and likes to play his cards close to his chest. Rimmer will be hoping his first season in BeerandBoobs last time out will stand him in good stead. The team ethos seems to be very much in keeping with the team name and United like to intimidate their opponents in submission but those who played against them last year in general found that there was nothing really to be that scared about. That said they certainly did not disgrace themselves and took a few big scalps along the way. So maybe not a team to be feared but one to certainly be wary of.

Killer Whippet Dogbots

Manager : Pete Lucas

Twitter : @whippetdogbots

Prediction : 11th

Our final rookie of the season replacing the now defunct “Kirali Girls” sees long suffering Preston North End fan Pete throw his hat into the ring for the first time. Despite his affection for PNE Pete likes to think he knows his stuff when it comes to football and although he may be an unknown quantity his attention to detail could mean he shocks a few of the old guard along the way. Maybe its too soon for the DogBots to challenge for honours but a mid to top half finish could be possible.

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