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My Vacation While on Vacation

Balaton

Over the weekend, we took a trip to the “Hungarian Sea,” Balaton. This vacation proved to be very challenging in the point-earning department. (See this post for the list.) On Friday and Saturday, I earned 1 point each day for organization. On Sunday, I earned 2 points – one for exercise, and one for organization. It’s Monday (actually, Tuesday, but since I haven’t slept yet, we’ll call it Monday) and so far, I haven’t earned any points. 😦 But, I’m blogging, so that’s 1, and I could easily and quickly take care of organizing and meditation.

So, let’s make this a 3 point day! If I can do that, I will be 15 points away from my 25 points per/week goal, which is great, because I have exactly 3 days left in the Friday-Thursday week! Call it cheating if you want, but I’m not counting the first day since I was obviously the most excited about this plan on the first day, and I think, long-term, Friday to Thursday will work best for me.

Anyway, back to exciting things, like vacations abroad. 🙂 Isn’t Balaton beautiful? I think it’s the most beautiful lake I’ve ever been too. We had a really nice, relaxing time with one of my husband’s best friends and his wife. However, it was by far the most expensive weekend I’ve ever had in Hungary, so I think next time we’ll plan more carefully.

Now that I’m more than halfway through this trip, I’m beginning to see it differently. I’m not quite Home, as I mentioned in this post. Yes, this is the place where I have felt the most at home, but this trip is different.

First of all, it’s a trip – I’m not living here semi-permanently. Second of all, for the entirety of the trip, we are visiting my husband’s parents, siblings, cousins, and friends. All but one of my friends has moved back home, and he lives in Budapest, so it’s not like we meet up anytime for coffee, drinks or a walk. So, how can I sum this up? I’m close enough to touch this place, my home, breathe it in, see it all, but I’m experiencing it from a completely different angle. And from this angle, I am very foreign.

That may sound obvious to you, but let me explain. There’s foreign on a technical level, and then there’s foreign in an energetically out-of-place kind of way. Even though I’m home, from this angle, I’m foreign in an out-of-place kind of way. These are my husband’s friends and family members. They have thousands of experiences with him that don’t include me, and (slaps self gently on the forehead) I don’t speak their language. Most of them speak some or even a lot of English, but it’s exhausting for them. And come on, they only get to see András twice a year so they’re unbelievably excited – they just want to communicate with him as much as possible. I feel like I’m in the way. I even feel distant from my András these days.

My goal for the rest of this trip is to acknowledge that I feel that way, but not let it keep me from loving and living this experience to the fullest extent possible. I hope these feelings will encourage me to go off on my own more, so I can feel more at home and less like a foreigner, messing with the flow of this. As for the closeness with András, I can just trust that when we settle back into our routine at home, we’ll fall right back in place.

I think I am closest now than I’ve ever been to understanding how he feels a lot of the time back in the states with me.

What a sacrifice he made moving there with me.

And now back to the more mundane things. I just earned a point from organizing my things and packing for tomorrow. We’re going back to Budapest to visit some of András’ cousins.

I’m going to upload some pictures to Facebook, and then meditate before bed. So yes, today is a 3-point day.