Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Celebrating firsts

(nonverbal child screeches and yanks back toy so that she can pull the handle that makes the noise)

"These are our rules, Grammy. Please help us enforce those rules so that Johnny will sleep/eat/behave like we've been trying to teach him."

Kids should do things for themselves. Not dicing tomatoes - young kids and knives do not blend well. And while some oversight is probably a good idea, as I said in Hovering, allowing kids to experience the bumps of "haven't quite got it right yet" serves as a perfect appetizer to "Mom, I did it!" How else can they learn how to do something,or, just as important, how not to do something?

And just as it's important to let them crow about their successes, let them hear you celebrate. It can be hard, though, as you swim through a sea of:

No, Mommy..wait...I have to tell you something. (repeat eleventy-seven times)

Add these classic hits (all for 2 installments of $9.99) to your dishes, the lawn, their homework, your to do list (which is looking more and more like Martin Luther's Theses), the oil slick, unemployment, and your recent sleepless night because of any number of issues, and you'll miss:

the first whatever on the potty...and the attendant 2.73 rolls of toilet paper used to do so.

writing her name for the first time...or merely trying to write her name for the first time.

getting to the end of the maze

telling that overbearing friend, "No, I want to do it my way for once."

first time brushing teeth by himself, complete with Blob-sized splat of toothpaste clogging the sink.

walking down the dark hallway where the goblins live by herself.

the "I love you" that was supposed to come out, but you'd already had it with the 78 other things you'd been dealing with, so you said "Not now, honey, ok?"

We miss too much; we're just not there enough to see it all. To capture some of it, at least once a day, try the following.

Stop what you're doing

Kneel down with your child (being much taller and staying way up there can be intimidating)