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Don't Be Crewel

Eric: With his last breath, our fairy godfather Oscar Wilde lifted his head off the pillow in his shitty apartment, took a look around and declared "Either that wallpaper goes or I do."

I totally understand. I could never get naked, much less dead, in a room where the walls look like embroidery, be it gros point, counted cross-stitch, turkey work, candle wicking, or whatever.
It's an easy fix -- primer, neutral textured paint, and you're done.

There's some decent wood here. The chair rail, for instance, and the cabinet hiding the porn station. The calculator, remotes and phone charger should live there as well. I see a provocative glimpse of a big, beefy seat. I'm usually in favor of such things, but a club chair is just too big for this space. A slipper or boudoir-sized option would be much better.

You all know that I'm an unpaid international ambassador for skeet blankets and animal prints, but this mess is just too big in both size and scale. I recommend a Snuggie. In leopard, of course.

Love the frame, but I'm not a fan of the duct tape matte on the 'artwork.' I do wonder about the map itself. To where does it lead, the landfill? Anywhere would be fine as long as it takes me away from this godforsaken granny bedsit hellhole before I die.