When I was a kid, I was a huge, huge fan of Lobo. I actually still have the issue at right bagged and boarded. That’s because Lobo is designed to appeal to the id of a thirteen-year-old boy. His books are gory, violent, as profane as DC will allow outside of Vertigo (i.e. “frag” and “bastitch”), full of booze and cigars, and generally what all middle school kids think they’re going to be when they grow up, a cross between a biker and an action hero who is completely immune to the law.

So of course, Joel Silver wants to make a movie that throws all of that completely out the window, because apparently in Joel Silver’s minds, it’s still the ’90s, Lobo is still popular, and you can ignore absolutely everything that made the comic distinct and turn out whatever crap you want.

Apparently the script is all about Lobo teaming up with a tomboy and going on a crazy adventure full of hijinks. If that doesn’t sound nauseating enough, it’ll be directed by Brad Peyton, who specializes in making sequels that seem like crappy direct-to-video knock-offs of the original (“Journey 2″, “Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore”).

In short, this thing is a train wreck before they’ve even filmed a frame. I admit I’m a little surprised that something so incredibly tone-deaf is getting produced from a studio, that, the last time they tried this, it ruined their crown jewel franchise for a decade.

All we’re waiting for is the casting news. Come on, Silver, this is going to be a wreck, so why not go whole hog? Cast Channing Tatum or Zac Efron, and this might actually break through the glass floor and become so awful it’s funny.

The only director who should be allowed anywhere near a live action Lobo feature is Paul Verhoeven. Lobo is crying out for his distict brand of over the top, extreme but cartoon like violence and sledge hammer satire.