Artist, Charlie Co, in collaboration with Silk Cocoon, is helping the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation maintain their HOPEline. Co, whose whimsical works have drawn the attention of many art lovers, met NGF president, Jean Goulbourn and felt an immediate connection. Having just recovered from a life-threatening kidney transplant last February, Co feels that life is something worth treasuring. As Charlie would say, it was because of the grace of God that he survived it all. Co collaborated with Jean Goulbourn to create an exhibition inspired by Love, Hope, & Gratitude – the theme of Silk Cocoon’s nineteenth anniversary.

Charlie Co is known for being a chronicler, using his artworks as his visual diary in vibrant colors. His recent pieces radiate more meaning than ever, as some pieces in the exhibition were specially created to benefit NGF’s Hopeline project, a 24/7 emotional crisis line, to train responders for hospitals and volunteer parishes.

Co will donate thirty percent of funds raised from his paintings and Silk Cocoon will donate twenty percent of funds raised from their barongs to the Foundation.

For more information on Co, and Silk Cocoon’s interpretation of his work in their handwoven products, along with their anniversary, please visit these links:

]]>http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/12/13/celebration-love-hope-gratitude/feed/0World Suicide Prevention Day (SuPre)http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/09/10/world-suicide-prevention-day-supre/
http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/09/10/world-suicide-prevention-day-supre/#respondWed, 10 Sep 2014 02:45:21 +0000http://www.ngf-hope.org/?p=2049Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (NGF) invites everyone to observe World Suicide Prevention Day (SuPre) this September 10 (Wednesday). SuPre is the one day of the year where we remember a lost loved one and support survivors of suicide by lighting a candle by our window at 8 pm. St. Alphonsus Mary di Liguori (Magallanes) church was […]

]]>Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (NGF) invites everyone to observe World Suicide Prevention Day (SuPre) this September 10 (Wednesday). SuPre is the one day of the year where we remember a lost loved one and support survivors of suicide by lighting a candle by our window at 8 pm. St. Alphonsus Mary di Liguori (Magallanes) church was the first to spearhead this observance in 2009. This marks their fifth year in asking the public to take an hour off their busy schedules to pay tribute to everyone affected by depression and suicide.
This year is significant because it marks the release by the WHO of the World Suicide Report (WSR). The report follows the adoption of the Comprehensive Mental Health Action Plan 2013-2020 by the World Health Assembly, which commits all 194 member states to reducing their suicide rates by 10% by 2020.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), nearly 3,000 people on average commit suicide daily (1 every forty seconds). For every person who completes a suicide, 20 or more may attempt to end their lives. About one million people die by suicide each year.

In the Philippines, the Department of Health (DOH) reports that about 5 people die of suicide every day. The age group with the highest rate of suicide is between 20 to 24 years. Deaths due to suicide are underreported to avoid socio-cultural stigma, escape police enquiries and legal harassment, and benefit from the insurance sector. They are also misclassified as accidents. Hence, these official numbers are gross underestimates.

Those who are currently undergoing emotional distress can contact our 24/7 crisis helpline at 804- HOPE (4673).

]]>http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/09/10/world-suicide-prevention-day-supre/feed/0Depression is Not A Sign of Weaknesshttp://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/depression-sign-weakness/
http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/depression-sign-weakness/#respondMon, 25 Aug 2014 09:21:36 +0000http://www.ngf-hope.org/?p=2039Last week, NGF President, Jean Goulbourn appeared on three news channels to talk about depression, its symptoms, and its inherent dangers. In these interviews, she talked about the prevalence of depression, especially among the youth, and how the young are being influenced by irresponsible reporting of celebrity suicides. With the recent death of Robin Williams, […]

]]>Last week, NGF President, Jean Goulbourn appeared on three news channels to talk about depression, its symptoms, and its inherent dangers. In these interviews, she talked about the prevalence of depression, especially among the youth, and how the young are being influenced by irresponsible reporting of celebrity suicides. With the recent death of Robin Williams, many mental health advocates are worried that people may be influenced to mimic his actions because of how it was reported. What should be encouraged is the proper treatment for people who are emotionally distressed.

Depression is a mental illness that can affect anybody and everybody. Even people who are seemingly happy, such as Robin Williams, are not immune to disease. In fact, it may be argued that these types of people (i.e. comedians) are more prone to bouts of sadness.

For more information about depression and how we can help you, please watch her interviews using the links listed below.

]]>http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/depression-sign-weakness/feed/0Learning from Robin Williamshttp://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/learning-robin-williams/
http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/learning-robin-williams/#respondMon, 25 Aug 2014 09:06:07 +0000http://www.ngf-hope.org/?p=2034His death has affected millions. Not only was he a beloved actor, but the manner of his death inspired others to take a closer look at depression, and how this mental illness could potentially lead to suicide. We wish to remind everybody that this is a disease– one that could affect anybody, regardless of age, gender, […]

]]>His death has affected millions. Not only was he a beloved actor, but the manner of his death inspired others to take a closer look at depression, and how this mental illness could potentially lead to suicide. We wish to remind everybody that this is a disease– one that could affect anybody, regardless of age, gender, sexual preference, or social class. Left unattended, it could worsen and lead someone to engage in risky behavior.

We would like to share this article written by Archie Modequillo that was published in the Philippine Star. The full article can be found here.
—

CEBU, Philippines – The eternally funny and cheerful Robin Williams had committed suicide. He was found dead at his home from “asphyxia due to hanging,” officials said. The 63-year-old actor was beloved by fans, successful in his career, famous, and wealthy. How could a person like that

decide to end his life?

Says Linda Carroll in an article on nbcnews.com, “Depression can strike anyone, at any time – but for many it comes as a surprise when someone who seemingly has it all and makes the world laugh is quietly suffering.”

“Every time someone commits suicide, it is a surprise, a sad surprise,” according to Dr. David Kupfer, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and chair of the task force that developed the latest version psychiatric diagnostic manual, the DSM-5.

When it’s someone as prominent as Williams, we say, “Oh my God, why would somebody like that commit suicide, when he’s so successful, so productive and has so much to look forward to in life,” Kupfer says. “But there are times when an individual can become so depressed and so concerned about how they feel that they believe there is no other way out other than to attempt suicide.”

Although Williams never publicly acknowledged suffering from any kind of mood disorder, the comedian had reportedly been “battling severe depression.” In a 2006 interview he denied having manic-depression, and explained that talks that he had it came after posing for the cover of Newsweek for a 1998 story headlined, “Are We All A Little Crazy?” He, however, described his comic style as “manic.” His most recent TV foray was called “The Crazy Ones.”

One early study found that comedians often felt misunderstood, angry, anxious and depressed. Just this year a study by the group of Gordon Claridge at Oxford University found that comedians tended to have a “conflicted” profile: “a combination of introverted, depressive traits, on the one hand, and on the other, the complete opposite: extroverted, impulsive, manic traits.”

Claridge explained that their finding “gives substance to the idea of the sad clown,” adding that for some comedians, performance can be a “front” or a form of self-medication for an underlying depression, shyness or insecurity. “Sadly Robin Williams was a prime example of that conclusion: a man with underlying insecurity and depression who covered it with comedy,” he said.

Psychologist Kay Redfield Jamison, a professor of psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and author of two books on depression, said, “The rate of suicide in patients with bipolar disorder and also in severe depression is high, and it’s one of the many reasons for getting treatment.” She admitted having nearly killed herself in a suicide attempt after going off her medication for bipolar disorder, and cited that some 75 to 80 percent of people who kill themselves have suffered from a mood disorder.

Forensic psychiatrist Dr. Liza Gold, also clinical professor of psychiatry at Georgetown University, says that the risk of falling victim to depression rises with age. “As we get older we [become] less resilient,” she adds. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger? That’s not true.”

Unmistakable signs of depression are observed in people going through a so-called “mid-life crisis.” Although, recently here in the Philippines the ailment has claimed the life of a ten-year-old girl. Filipinos have various other names for it, the reason why “depression” has not really been a big issue in the country.

Dr. J. John Mann, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and director of the molecular imaging and neuropathology division at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, said that Williams’ recent return to rehab “is probably highly relevant.”

“What happens in someone like Robin Williams is that alcohol can change the whole equation. When they drink they are different. They are altered. Their decision making process is changed. Their probability of acting on emotions increases,” he said. “The lesson for anybody suffering from a mood disorder is that alcohol is a tremendous risk factor for suicide.”

Dr. Gold advises having family and friends around the suffering person; removing possible means of suicide, such as pills or a gun or a rope; and getting appropriate treatment. Families of someone who may be struggling should be on the lookout for signs of trouble like sleeping all day or missing work, and “not be persuaded there is nothing wrong when their hearts tell them otherwise,” said Lloyd Sederer, Medical Director of the New York State Office of Mental Health.

If you see someone suffering, Sederer suggests gathering the family together and giving support, and insisting that the suffering loved one gets proper professional attention and care. It can be really hard; the person may not see his illness, or feel too ashamed to admit it, or hopeless, or guilty. But life is always worth the effort.

]]>http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/learning-robin-williams/feed/0Sharing a Depression Storyhttp://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/sharing-depression-story/
http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/sharing-depression-story/#commentsMon, 25 Aug 2014 08:55:28 +0000http://www.ngf-hope.org/?p=2029We would like to share this beautiful article, written by Alya Honasan, and published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer. It is always wonderful to read about people who have battled this illness, survived, and are now thriving. We wish to encourage those undergoing emotional distress to keep holding on and to seek professional help. Contact […]

]]>We would like to share this beautiful article, written by Alya Honasan, and published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer. It is always wonderful to read about people who have battled this illness, survived, and are now thriving. We wish to encourage those undergoing emotional distress to keep holding on and to seek professional help. Contact our HOPEline any time of the day.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to write this piece. But then Robin Williams’ suicide hit the news, and I was so saddened—not just because he was one of my favorite comedians, but also due to this thought: “Another one loses the battle.”

It’s the battle against depression—a quiet, terrible struggle that happens inside a human being—leaves few visible scars, but is nonetheless deadly because it is so silent and often misunderstood.

Millions of people all over the world, normal people with happy families, good careers, fruitful relationships and decent abilities, are fighting clinical depression—including me.

And no, it isn’t the same as getting the blues, angst, emo, drama, or even the occasional bad day that many people have. Clinical depression is a serious, legitimate illness; it’s not a character flaw, a sign of weakness or a personality defect.

Yes, it is a mental illness, but it doesn’t mean that a depressive person is permanently incapacitated, untrustworthy or out of his or her mind. In many cases, it’s a chemical imbalance, and no amount of telling a person to “snap out of it” is going to work if he or she is not well.

For those who need to quantify what exactly “not being well” means, I found a good explanation by Dr. Daniel K. Hall-Flavin on the Mayo Clinic website: “Depression ranges in seriousness from mild, temporary episodes of sadness to severe, persistent depression. Clinical depression is the more severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder.”

Hall-Flavin proceeds to list several symptoms; having five or more of them consistently over a two-week period, “most of the day, nearly every day,” could indicate illness.

The behavior includes feeling sad, empty, tearful or even irritable; reduced interest or pleasure in most activities; extremes like significant weight loss or weight gain, decrease or increase in appetite, sleeping too much or too little, or restlessness or slower movement; fatigue; difficulty concentrating; and the most insidious, in my opinion: thoughts of or actual attempts at suicide.

Life crisis

I experienced my first bout with depression in the mid-1990s, after a personal crisis. I’ve talked about the experience, using my real name for a book on depression stories by Dr. Margie Holmes in 2010, “Down To One.”

It was a terrible time; I ballooned to 210 lbs and would sleep at 4 every morning, only to get up a few hours later to go to work. I was tired, unmotivated and crying incessantly, but I sought solace in my work. I had given my depression an image, “the hollow block,” because that’s what it felt like, sitting on my chest every morning. Can you imagine how hard it is to feel like crying as soon as you open your eyes?

Then one day, I faced the computer screen and couldn’t write a word. That’s when I knew I needed help.

Getting help is not that simple when your family has no experience or idea of how to deal with depression. My mother thought it was just my “arte.” So, at the time, I dealt with my illness mainly with the support of friends, although some relatives learned about it after I was being treated. My psychiatrist, who is also my cousin, provided just the right guidance and let me talk through my issues, with which he was familiar.

He also put me on Prozac for a few months. Now, just mentioning anti-depressants still scares the living daylights out of many people today, so you can imagine what people were saying back then. In a culture like ours, where problems are solved by talking to friends over bottles of beer, the idea of mind drugs remains daunting.

People who didn’t know jack about what I was going through said I was messing with my head, poisoning my liver, avoiding the issue. I remember a physical exam in the office I was working in, where the nurse asked me if I was on medication. When I said “Prozac,” she actually whispered conspiratorially, “Huwag na natin isulat yan, ha, ma’am”—like I had just told her I had the Ebola virus.

Others also said I should just pray, implying that I didn’t know how or wasn’t doing it right. Well, I was praying hard, and I knew God heard me—that’s how I mustered the courage to do something concrete and “radical” to help myself.

To be sure, drugs were stronger and more expensive at the time; Prozac was P98 a pop in the mid-’90s, and I was stoned for two weeks before the medication kicked in.

People will have different opinions about medication, but this is mine: When you’re depressed, you cannot confront the most painful issues of your life with a clear head. Medications can temporarily dull the pain so you can look at your demons, and keep looking at them until they’re not so scary anymore and you no longer need the cushion.

I would marvel at how, when I would feel my spirits plummet, there would be an almost palpable halt in the descent—like a safety net, catching you as you fall.

Happy stuff

This is how I understood the chemistry: Prozac (Fluoxetine) belongs to a class of drugs known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI). Serotonin is a neurotransmitter, sometimes called the “happy stuff” in your brain that maintains mood balance; SSRIs regulate serotonin levels so you don’t get depressed.

The important thing is to have a plan with your psychiatrist, and we did; the medicines allowed me to think about what was dragging me down, process it, and with a lot of prayers, let it go.

I also discovered yoga in 2001, towards the end of my last round of medications, which truly helped me heal.
Medication is not for everybody, to be sure—but if your doctor determines it’s for you, and you’ve exhausted every other option you can think of, I believe it can help.

I wish it ended that simply. Then again, my boss and friend Thelma told me it takes maturity to accept help—again.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June 2013, and completed treatment in April 2014. I was upbeat and focused throughout my six months of chemotherapy, but the week before my very last session, I crashed. I was a weepy, despairing mess. I eventually pulled out of a five-day funk, but I should have taken the hint then: I was mentally and physically exhausted, and running out of gas.

After I completed treatment, I was pushed into menopause. I’m not sure if it was my predisposition, having suffered from depression in the past, or the onslaught of hormonal changes and the proverbial midlife crisis. Some studies also suggest that the drugs pumped into you can lead to a chemical imbalance.

Either way, I was blindsided by the sadness that enveloped me after treatment. When you’re expected to be all sweetness and light, and bounce back into life when you don’t feel like it, the pressure can be tremendous; you feel ungrateful, unresolved, lost.

I fielded the question to some fellow cancer survivors, and the answer surprised me—most had experienced some sort of mood swing, sadness or emotional disturbance after the end of treatment.

One night, driving home from work, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of uncertainty about the rest of my life, and I ended up pulling up in the car on White Plains Avenue at 11 p.m. and bawling my head off. That happened a few more times before I decided to do something.

I am deeply thankful that I have been saved from a life-threatening disease with what I consider minimal damage—but I have also accepted that the depression came back, although I am more aware of what is happening, and I now know that it will certainly pass.

This time, I was guided to a doctor with a great empathy for what’s happening to me. I initially felt like a failure; 12 years with no medicines, and now this, and as any recovering depressive will tell you, few things are more depressing than having to accept that you’re depressed again!

A break

I appreciated the way the doctor put it to me, however: After assuring me that drugs now are much “cleaner” than a generation ago—I never even stopped driving when I started taking this new, inexpensive pill—she said, “You don’t have to endure this. Give yourself a break.”

So that’s what I did. The medicine, which my doctor sees me taking for a specific time, is already working. I haven’t cried in days; I am more myself again, and looking forward to a vacation I have been planning for a while—my first since kicking cancer’s butt.

I’m back to my yoga, although I have yet to get my full strength back. My dearest friends have reserved judgment—“Whatever helps you,” they said. “We’ve got your back.”

In her insightful book “Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression,” former Elle UK magazine editor Sally Brampton wrote: “You see, we want to be better, we want to be ourselves, and it is not through any lack of trying that we fail. But we do fail, because we are deep inside an illness. And it is that failure, and that struggle, that sends us into a despair so terrible that we would rather not exist.”

Have I thought about killing myself? I think every depressive does, almost like an escapist fantasy. But it is the love of people around you—and a dogged faith in a higher power who, time and again, has pulled you through—that will keep you from crossing that line between thought and action.
Please remember that if you’re depressed, or if you have a loved one who is depressed: There will always be hope. We should always choose to never cross the line.

But we also have absolutely no right to judge the people who do. It’s a choice they make, and almost certainly only after a long and painful struggle. I am incensed by self-righteous, despicable social media comments that Williams was weak, a coward, selfish or burning in hell (like they would know for sure, right?).

Constant sadness is profoundly exhausting, and it can break anybody; if you’ve never felt such despair, then consider yourself blessed, and show some compassion.

I’m sad that Robin Williams crossed the line, but I send my love with this wonderful genius who gave so much happiness to others, as he goes home to a better place.

I will never cross that line, because I believe God is holding my hand, and I’m a strong, fabulous woman. Hell, I was strong enough to write this.

]]>http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/25/sharing-depression-story/feed/5Remembering Robin Williams Responsiblyhttp://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/14/remembering-robin-williams-responsibly/
http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/14/remembering-robin-williams-responsibly/#respondThu, 14 Aug 2014 11:07:04 +0000http://www.ngf-hope.org/?p=2020We’re sure you’ve heard by now, that famous actor and comedian, Robin Williams, passed away recently from an apparent suicide. Robin Williams was known to have suffered depression many times in his life, and his death can be seen as a reflection of his struggle with this mental illness. There are many sites and blogs […]

]]>We’re sure you’ve heard by now, that famous actor and comedian, Robin Williams, passed away recently from an apparent suicide. Robin Williams was known to have suffered depression many times in his life, and his death can be seen as a reflection of his struggle with this mental illness. There are many sites and blogs regarding his death, but the one we particularly want to share is the one posted on The Guardian that talks about responsibly reporting celebrity suicides.

Media Guidelines for Reporting Suicide

For teens or people undergoing depression, reading such material could give them ideas and maybe even encourage them to mimic the actions of the celebrity. We would like to strongly encourage you to avoid these types of articles and/or videos, and talk to a qualified mental professional if you feel you are experiencing emotional distress. For a full view of the guidelines, click here.

Mental Stigma Still Attached To Depression

The most important thing to remember is that there is still a great social stigma attached to depression, which prevents people from seeking out help. By delaying aid, people increase their risk in engaging in potentially dangerous activities, such as suicide. A commentary made by a CNN responder accurately describes how we feel about this tragic affair. Please watch the video here.

EACH OF US IS RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR ACTIONS AND INACTIONS. YOU CAN DO YOUR PART BY RESPONSIBLE REPORTING AND TAKING THE STEPS TO HELP REDUCE THE STIGMA STILL ATTACHED TO DEPRESSION.

]]>http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/08/14/remembering-robin-williams-responsibly/feed/0When The Heart Bleedshttp://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/04/11/heart-bleeds/
http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/04/11/heart-bleeds/#respondFri, 11 Apr 2014 00:39:39 +0000http://www.ngf-hope.org/?p=2007We would like to share this unpublished story by Letty Jacinto-Lopez about model, Helena Belmonte’s death . As always, our thoughts to Helena’s family. Please feel free to share this story! When the Heart Bleeds by Letty Jacinto-Lopez That Friday, a newsbreak: A fashion model fell from the 28th floor of a condo unit. In the following days, further details […]

That Friday, a newsbreak: A fashion model fell from the 28th floor of a condo unit.

In the following days, further details provided a personal connection. The young fashion model was Helena Belmonte. Her mother is Lorraine Belmonte, a woman with a winsome smile who shared my enthusiasm over Padre Pio, particularly the special relationship he maintained with our guardian angels. Lorraine also serves in the Board of the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (NGF), established by a mutual friend, Jeannie Goulbourn, to raise public awareness against depression and break the shame and stigma associated with it.

I immediately sent a message to Lorraine through Jeannie. Jeannie replied. “I’m with Lorraine, I’ll pass on your message to her.”

“Jeannie,” I continued. “I was extremely shocked and saddened by Lorraine’s loss. No one can imagine what Lorraine is going through, but you can, I know.”

What a blow to find two friends and two mothers who championed the same cause and moved in the same circle, to have to live through the same tragedy. For Lorraine, fresh and wrenching. For Jeannie, a replay of the grief and anguish that once tore her apart.

I googled Helena Belmonte and out came stunning photos of her taken from fashion magazines and photo shoots. Amazing how mother and daughter looked so much alike. There were other comments from bloggers and netizens that were both consoling and kind but also cruel and harsh. Among them:

*Spare the rod and you have an overprotected child who cannot handle rejection and disappointments.

*When you are in the middle of an episode of depression, you really feel like you are in the pits of despair at mahirap umahon doon ng ganon-ganon nalang. Wala ka nga in your right mind, that’s why she jumped to her death. RIP *She had a chemical imbalance in her brain. Don’t ever judge a person why she did that. Don’t call her mababaw, baliw, sira ulo, weak. You don’t know what it’s like.

Helena was diagnosed with a bi-polar disorder.

There are many myths* surrounding this ailment. Unlike other afflictions where a combined treatment and prescription program can cure, if not arrest or control the illness, anything that involves the mind can be a shot in the dark. It becomes worse, if the patient feels the humiliation (like those malicious whispers spoken callously), the disgrace and the rejection that surrounds mental disorder. It leaves the person vulnerable. If those around the tormented person stay tight-lipped or dense, it can contribute to her steep descent. Not able to understand the root of her depression, including its symptoms and consequences, she convinces herself that the confusion will quietly go away. That she can zap out the furies, lift the gloom, rein in the blues without outside help or intervention.

Lorraine, it is not your fault. You have done everything in your command to give your Helena the best in life and of life. You will attempt to answer the questions flooding your mind, but even if you’re able to find some answers, you will still not reach any point where you would find comfort. The pain is too raw and too deep. If you can but freeze it so you go numb and deprive the heart of feelings, you would.

It is all right to miss Helena. You may even hark back to the past when she was like your little shadow, never leaving your side, sometimes, cloying like a baby koala.

We cannot turn back the time to undo the helplessness and misery that led Helena to her painful death, but we can help break the myths surrounding mental disorder and therefore mend wounded spirits and save fragile lives.

In time, in God’s time, the rain will stop. You will find the path to healing and acceptance. Believe that it is never, never too late. Become a symbol of hope. Lead many more to welcome and accept Life. It is still worth living, and loving.

]]>http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/04/11/heart-bleeds/feed/0Seek Help: Sharing an article from the Manila Bulletinhttp://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/03/31/seek-help-sharing-article-manila-bulletin/
http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/03/31/seek-help-sharing-article-manila-bulletin/#commentsMon, 31 Mar 2014 03:49:19 +0000http://www.ngf-hope.org/?p=2003We would like to share this article that came out in the Manila Bulletin yesterday. This article discusses the recent suicide of model, Helena Belmonte, and the stigma still attached to mental illness here in the Philippines. This is an important article to read and to share, so please feel free to link this on […]

]]>We would like to share this article that came out in the Manila Bulletin yesterday. This article discusses the recent suicide of model, Helena Belmonte, and the stigma still attached to mental illness here in the Philippines.

This is an important article to read and to share, so please feel free to link this on your walls or accounts! The more people know about this, the better!

This article was written by Rowena Bautista-Alcaraz & Jacky Lynne A. Oiga.

The complete article can be viewed at the Manila Bulletin’s official site here: http://www.mb.com.ph/crazy-beautiful/

—–

Crazy/ beautiful

Today, world bipolar day, let’s ask the question: why is it such a shame to seek professional help for mental or emotional disorders in the philippines?

The tangibility of a physical illness, whether it’s a frozen shoulder, bad teeth, or even cancer, makes it easier to accept than mental disorders like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, psychosis, and schizophrenia. When it’s physical, there’s proof that something’s wrong. The underlying pathology of mental disorders, however, is something that cannot be diagnosed though blood tests or an MRI. So for disturbed people, who can’t see what is causing their mental and emotional problems, think that there is something wrong with them as a person, that it’s their fault.

This is probably one of the reasons why on March 20, after a dinner with her friends and her boyfriend, Helena Belmonte, the daughter of Lorraine Belmonte, One Mega Group Inc. founding creative director, allegedly jumped to her death from her building in Ortigas. She was 28.

Helena had bipolar disorder, but she didn’t accept it. She refused to be monitored professionally, afraid to be labelled as weird or crazy or sick in the head. And can you blame her?

why not seek help?

People who don’t understand mental disorders associate psychotics with hopelessness, desolation, filth, turmoil, and wretchedness. They associate depressed pains with weakness. They label bipolars as scary, violent, and agitated people. Now if you find yourself struggling with these illnesses—scared, demented, and alone—what will you do?

“Mental illness is still pervasively problematic in our society despite us doing swimmingly in a world with advanced technology and a huge expanse of personal freedom and acceptance,” says Dr. Danice Justine L. Lañas, a clinical fellow from the Department of Psychological Medicine at the Tan Tock Seng Hospital in Singapore. “So, normally, mentally disturbed individuals just keep quiet. So society won’t judge or shun them.”

Two years ago Jerika Ejercito was diagnosed with depression. At the height of her ordeal, she launched the I AM the Issue Foundation to provide help for the depressed and has since felt like talking to a brick wall. Now eight months pregnant with her first child Isaiah, she appeals to those afflicted with the disorder: ‘Don’t be scared. If you need someone to talk to, you can come to us. If you need help, ask us.’

Dr. Lañas believes, though, that the biggest factor contributing to the scarce awareness of mental health in the Philippines is misguided stigma. “Stigma means a lot of things,” he explains. “It can be shame, disgrace, or dishonor. To put it in a bigger perspective, the patient’s shame will encompass the patient’s family. It is disgraceful to the family to be known to have a mental illness because it is in their blood and therefore part of who they are as well.”

Stigma and negative publicity were the reasons why I AM the Issue (a foundation that raises awareness on mental health and fosters a society that supports those living with mental disorders) founder Jerika Ejercito, 29, first-born and only daughter of Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada and Laarni Enriquez, quietly suffered clinical depression—free falling, losing grip, stuck in a vicious cycle of parties, drinking, going out until, finally, she decided she wanted to get better.

“In London, I could have easily seen a shrink. Here in Manila, I couldn’t just do that. My dad was running for Mayor at that time, if I saw a shrink, people might say that ‘Yung anak ni Erap may sira sa ulo. Baka sira din ang ulo ni Erap.’ That’s what I was afraid of. But then eventually, I thought, ‘If I don’t seek help, baka saan na ako pulutin.’ So I turned myself in and found a doctor.”

Jerika moved to London when she was 17, at the height of her father’s impeachment trial. She lived there for nine years until her parents called her back, in time for Estrada’s mayoral campaign. That’s when she started feeling depressed.

“When I left, my idea of the Philippines was 2005, when everyone crucified my family. So when I came home two years ago, I hated it. I didn’t want to come home. I was forced to come home. I was very resentful. Those three thoughts gnawed inside my head when I was depressed. I was dependent on prescription meds, I couldn’t imagine living without them. Then I got pregnant, so I had to stop. It’s my eighth month now, I’m about to pop, and I’m okay,” Jerika beams.

Pregnancy gave Jerika’s life a new purpose—something depressed people often lack. “After feeling so lost for so long, I now feel I have something to look forward to. That I’m here for a reason, I just badly needed help,” Jerika adds. “That’s why I started I AM the Issue, to provide help for the depressed. If you need someone to talk to, you can come to us. If you want to know what’s going on with your disorder, you can ask us. And most important, if you need help, ask us. Don’t be scared. Don’t let other’s opinion cloud your judgment. Do it for yourself.”

Dr. Lañas explains that different people react to mental health diagnosis differently. “I don’t know how many times I’ve heard an angry patient say, ‘Doc, hindi ako baliw!’ and walks away in a huff. Patients often get depressed because they think it’s their fault they are abnormal or their condition is hopeless. Some are just too sick to understand anything. But the goal of therapy, of seeking help is to improve their insight— knowledge of their illness, compliance with treatment, perception of severity of their condition, etc.— so they can accept their condition and learn to help themselves,” Lañas says.

kindred spirits

“Like its twin Phoenix after its death, the Firebird rises again from its own ashes, a lot stronger and wiser. Much like after being depressed, after the darkness, after the temporary death of our souls, we rise again, and we fly high again. And life is beautiful again.” That’s the story behind the name of bipolar organization Mood Warriors and Firebirds, Bipolar Advocacy Philippines on Facebook, says founder May Juliet Dizon, 46, fondly called Teacher May by her students and friends. Coincidentally, the said Facebook page will be linked to Mood Thrives Society of the Philippines page today, March 30, in celebration of World Bipolar Day.

In May 2011, Teacher May turned to social media to look for others like her for self preservation, for acceptance. Needless to say, she was nearly at the height of her depression and hopelessness. That in many areas of her life there were struggles. She was diagnosed with Bipolar II. “I could have died from depression that year, but since I knew I had a huge responsibility to our members and supporters, I needed to stay alive,” she recalls.

Fellow mood warrior Sheena Kristine Cases, 26, signed up for the advocacy after finding it hard to manage her mood disorder. A few years back, Sheena sought professional help despite initial fear of being labeled. Thankfully, with increased knowledge and understanding, that fear grew less and less. “Society was harsh for me most especially when I was still not able to prove I can manage my disorder,” recounts Sheena. “It was very hard for me to cope. Some people insist that I’m not really bipolar, I just make too many excuses.” But Sheena is better now. She’s doing her Master’s Thesis at the University of the Philippines and is active in her church.

Anne (not her real name), on the other hand, is still mustering the courage to come out as a bipolar. She has always been irritated, hallucinating, and depressed for reasons she can’t understand. Her parents brushed off her being aloof, irritated, and shy as harmless quirks. When acceptance came, it was her grandmother who embraced her condition with open arms. “Bipolars have a tendency to withdraw from society,” says Anne. “And although being bipolar is not curable, it is treatable. One has to be compliant of the medications to rewire his or her brain. It is not wrong to seek professional help because it allows you to know yourself better. After all, everyone’s ‘crazy’ in his or her own way.”

a mother’s grief

Fashion designer Jeannie Goulbourn somewhat suspected her daughter Natasha Goulbourn was bulimic after she insisted on losing more weight. After all, fashion media would always stress that models look thin, sexy, and desirable, which is not far from every young girl’s dream body image. That was a year before she lost her to over-medication in Hong Kong after a bout of depression. Natasha, 28, passed away in 2002.

“I was totally clueless about depression. In retrospect, with the knowledge I have now… sleepless nights, eating after midnight snacks full of sugar, mood swings, happy, angry, sad, no appetite for food she loved. They were all symptoms of depression,” says Jeannie.

Natasha, however, knew something was not right. “She said so herself. She went to a naturopath doctor and ate only organic veggies and fish. She also had the roots of her hair tested in England to check if she had any mineral deficiencies. Her problem was not being able to sleep and that is a pattern of most people in depression,” Jeannie recounts.

Natasha then sought the help of a psychiatrist recommended by her friends. Jeannie and her husband met the doctor to give him the historical background. “The Australian psychiatrist was too Western. He said I could pay the bills but doesn’t give me a right to know what was happening to my daughter as she was an adult. I complained and asked if he could perhaps review the antidepressants as she was seeing spirits and hearing voices. She was also asking us questions that did not make sense. She wrote an email saying she couldn’t step on the brakes on time and might have to stop driving. ‘I feel weird with medications I am taking,’ she wrote.”

And then she was gone.

“Any mother with a child who took her own life feels the same emotions—shock, disbelief, numbness. It is surreal. You feel like you’re living a nightmare and at the same time looking in from the outside. Then you feel anger… sometimes bitter anger and when you cool down all the questions overwhelm your brain. ‘Why? What did I not do? What did I miss out on?’ Then guilt,” Jeannie laments.

Today, Jeannie serves the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (NGF), a group that promotes awareness on depression and how one can prevent, recognize, or treat the mental illness.

“In NGF, I discovered the most beautiful people. Responders who are dedicated, doctors who serve us without any exchange, nuns, priests, volunteers with a big hearts, and friends and family who see the need and give generously. We have a long way to go but what a privilege that I am directed by the Lord and Natasha to continue to serve,” says Jeannie.

aren’t we all crazy?

Mental illness is a product of many things. Dr. Lañas says that it is indeed hereditary. But environmental factors such as one’s upbringing, past experiences since childhood, trauma, and coping mechanisms learned also cause neurons to subtly change.

Medically speaking, there are no perfectly sane people, only normal people. One important definition of “normal” for psychiatrists like Dr. Lañas is being able to bounce back when faced with life stresses. It’s not as easy for many of those with mental disorders “Being in a state where your inner world is aligned with your outside world, no matter what happens, you know things happen for a reason, sometimes beyond your control, and you’re okay with that,” he says. “You are able to focus on things that you can control and fix. You’re imperturbable. You’re resilient.”

There lies the irony. As Teacher May puts it, sometimes you’d think that the normal people should know better, should try harder to be more compassionate and understanding to those with special needs. “Sometimes I think many Filipinos have self-esteem issues that they are not aware of. I have a mental illness, but sometimes even I have better judgment than others. So I wonder, who is really sick?”

Beauty And Brains

Aristotle says there’s no “great genius without a mixture of madness.” Taking it literally, some of the most beautiful, most eminent, most celebrated personalities in the world of television, literature, science, health, music, society, and cinema, wrestled against mental disorders—and iconic they became.

• English poet Virginia Woolf suffered from four major breakdowns before drowning herself at the age of 59. She had manic-depressive illness.

• Diana, The Princess of Wales, long struggled with bulimia and depression before her tragic death in a car crash.

• Many speculated that Marilyn Monroe had either bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder (BPD), which ran in her family.

The book said, “Time heals all wounds.” Jeannie Lim Goulbourn threw it away angrily. “Lies! Impossible!” she thought. How could a book claim that you can get over the loss of your child over time?

But nearly 12 years since she lost her younger daughter, Natasha, to suicide, the fashion designer and wellness advocate now says the book was right: “Yes, time heals.”

“A parent must go through hell’s fire and back again,” says Goulbourn. “And the sorrows and years will begin to shape into something very sacred, and you can feel the footsteps of those who love you in the other world.”

Twelve years ago this May, Goulbourn received news that her beautiful daughter, a Hong Kong-based accessories designer, didn’t wake up from an apparent overdose of prescription medication. Natasha was battling depression. She was 27.

Last week, a mother close to Goulbourn also lost her daughter to suicide. Former publishing executive Lorraine Belmonte’s only child, Helena, 28, flung herself out of her high-rise window in the early morning of Thursday. According to an interview with her godmother, the model had bipolar disorder.

Goulbourn says she received an overseas call from Belmonte, who was in the US, shortly after learning of Helena’s death. “That moment brought me exactly to where I was in 2002. All around me at the time, I felt surreal because half of me was visualizing and journeying with my daughter through a dark tunnel,” says Goulbourn. “But I had to be strong for Lorraine.”

The older woman advised her friend “to get a hold of yourself. Never blame yourself, because I saw what a good mother you were to Helena. I saw how much you loved her. Don’t blame yourself for what you think you could’ve done to save her.”

Four stages

These are pieces of advice that Goulbourn would not have heeded in 2002. Like most parents who lose a child to suicide, Goulbourn went through stages of denial, anger, guilt. She questioned God. “How could You? What wrong have I done? What do You want of me?”

She also blamed herself for not being there when Natasha died. “I could’ve been there in Hong Kong to look into her, but I sent her dad instead. Why couldn’t it have been me?”

For a long time, she couldn’t talk about what happened to Natasha, as if not saying it out loud would make it untrue. Also, for a time, the family was intensely private about the circumstances of her passing.

For a long time, she couldn’t talk about what happened to Natasha, as if not saying it out loud would make it untrue. Also, for a time, the family was intensely private about the circumstances of her passing.

“There’s still a lot of shame and embarrassment when it comes to dealing with depression,” Goulbourn says. There is such a stigma attached to mental disorders that sufferers and their families keep it a secret or refuse to deal with it. And this mother admits that she went through that phase.

“There is the denial that our ‘happy’-most-of-the-time daughter/son is just going through a phase and cannot be depressed.”

Suffering in silence

Natasha’s death was a seemingly insurmountable blow to the Goulbourns. It shook the Goulbourns’ marriage. Older daughter Katrina suffered in silence, which made things harder for the mother.

“You know, talk about your child. Cry, get angry,” she advises. At the time, she had a good support group, both medical and spiritual. “Plus the love of family friends like Nena Tantoco, who spiritually walked me through. My daughter Trina and my sister Frances, we held on to each other.”

It took four years before Goulbourn could begin to move on from her loss. “I knew it when I wasn’t smelling her clothes and her pillow any longer,” she says. “She had a sleeping robe that I didn’t wash for four years. After that, I began giving away her things.” She has, however, kept some of her daughter’s bags and shoes, which the mother wears from time to time.

In 2007, she established the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation, a nonprofit that aims to raise awareness of depression and mental disorders, and how to prevent its effects like suicide. For every life saved through NGF, Goulbourn sees it as a validation of her daughter’s life.

Incidentally, Belmonte is part of NGF’s trustees and advisory board, an “invaluable asset” to the foundation, says Goulbourn. Natasha and Helena live on because “we learn to absorb their beauty and we share it back to others.”

Sure, a parent will always feel guilt about moving on, says this mother. “It’s normal to feel guilty. It would seem like you don’t love your child anymore because you’re moving on. But Tasha wanted me always to be beautiful. She insisted I go to the gym. ‘Never get old, Mama, as you speak my language, and that of my friends.’ ‘Be happy, Mom! You can even get a new husband if you get bored with Dad!’”

She advises parents coping with the loss of a child to “draw a game plan and think of survival kits, like going to the movies, dining at new restaurants.

“Travel to new places. Meet new friends. Listen to their stories, don’t get buried in your own grief. Make a plan to help a foundation in ways you can afford. Pray, communicate daily with the Lord. Get out of old habits. Learn new things; study painting, writing, piano. Exercise a lot. Have a purpose. Go to schools and volunteer. What did your child like most? Engage in her business, her hobbies, etc.”

Twelve years changed Goulbourn in more ways than she ever imagined. “I think I have changed inside!” she says. “I’m more aware of others in their challenges. More understanding. I’m more compassionate and have more empathy for mothers like me. I’m passionately driven to remind and to encourage the different government agencies like the Department of Health to do a campaign and put a budget into making depression and mental health a top priority.”

When she decided to carry on with her life four years after her daughter died, Goulbourn says she spoke to her child, and sought her understanding.

“In my prayer, I cried one last time and said, ‘Tasha I don’t love you less if my tears stop running. I love you enough to start being happy the way you wish me to be.’ That was the start.”

If you or someone you know is going through an emotional crisis and needs immediate help, call the 24/7 Hopeline at landline 804-HOPE (4673), 0917-558-HOPE (4673) or 2919 (toll-free number for Globe and TM subscribers).

Here is the link to the article on the Inquirer’s website: http://lifestyle.inquirer.net/155076/from-jeannie-to-mom-of-suicide-victim

]]>http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/03/30/helena-belmonte-thoughts/feed/0Love Moves – Julia Fordham Gives Special Concerthttp://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/02/14/love-moves-julia-fordham-special-concert/
http://www.ngf-hope.org/2014/02/14/love-moves-julia-fordham-special-concert/#respondFri, 14 Feb 2014 00:58:31 +0000http://www.ngf-hope.org/?p=1984IT’S ALWAYS SO SURPRISING WHEN LOVE APPEARS OVER THE HORIZON. – Love moves in mysterious ways, Julia Fordham This Valentine’s Day, the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation is receiving the love of international artist Julia Fordham. Given for the benefit of the Yolanda survivors, this is the 4th time Ms. Fordham has performed in the Philippines. Her […]

This Valentine’s Day, the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation is receiving the love of international artist Julia Fordham. Given for the benefit of the Yolanda survivors, this is the 4th time Ms. Fordham has performed in the Philippines. Her Valentine’s Day concert: “Love Moves: Julia Fordham Live in Manila” will be held at the Grand Ballroom of Solaire Resort & Casino.

There will also be another concert on February 15 at the Lobby Lounge of EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. Ms. Fordham will be performing with Anna Brazil in a show called “Up Close and Personal”.

Proceeds of both shows will be donated to Habitat for Humanity Philippines and the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation.

Typhoon Yolanda (international name, Haiyan) is considered the deadliest Philippine typhoon on record, claiming thousands of lives and causing millions of dollars in damage.

We are so touched by this act of love; and there is no better way to show our joy then by posting the words of our very own board member, Frances Lim:

“It all started with an email from this lovely, highly talented woman with a big heart…”

“I had been in touch with Julia over the years and getting updates from her website. I met her years ago when she came to Manila for her first concert through Francis Lumen – I was so excited, being a big fan of hers! When she came back to do more concerts I had the pleasure of and privilege of sitting down to dinners with her, getting to know her, and the gang.”

“When Typhoon Yolanda hit, she emailed me asking how everything was and wanted to know how Francis was doing, and wanted to get in touch with him. I had seen on her website that she did “White Christmas”, her duet with Judith Owen – and all the proceeds of the download would benefit the Red Cross / Filipino Relief Fund. I asked Francis if he thought Julia would consider doing a concert to raise funds for NGF, to help Typhoon Yolanda survivors. He told me why not ask her, since in the past she helped with a fundraising for a school in India. ”

“So when I asked her if she would, the very next day she replied and I got a YES!”

“As the story goes, the rest is history…”

“Julia Fordham is a warm, kind, generous and sensitive soul. NGF is so honored to have an international celebrity and a friend help with our cause. ”

“Our deepest gratitude to Julia. Our hearts are warmed by your love for the Filipino people.”

“Thank you to Ronni Tapia Merk of Laurel Media, for such skill in pulling everything together and your kind heart.”

“And a big THANK YOU to Francis Lumen of Radiohigh 105.9FM – without you, none of this would have happened. As you said “IT’S MEANT TO BE!” You are a friend for all seasons.”