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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Better than what you have now

D and I have an ongoing conversation about selling our house and moving into something that has a bigger garage and 4 upstairs bedrooms. I am always on the side of staying put for a number of reasons, such as...

1. given the market, we would have to practically give our house away, and I refuse to cut into our equity to sell at a loss just to purchase a home that isn't that much nicer than what we have now (since in order to save as we do, we can't afford even a slightly larger mortgage).

2. N is already at our resides school, and we love it, so we'd be kinda dumb to move to another school cluster.

3. The preschool where the boys will attend (and where N went) is literally 2 minutes from our house.

4. D's work is a 7-mile drive from our home. His car is a 2001, and I don't think he's passed 45,000 miles yet.

5. My goal is to pay off our mortgage before N goes to college or soon after, and if we move into a slightly larger home with a slightly larger house payment, this will interfere with that plan.

6. I have a hell of a time keeping this house clean. I don't need to clean more and potentially larger rooms.

7. We have the ability now to save and make upgrades to our home and enjoy them. If we move, we won't have the money to make improvements to the home (and everyone wants to make a new home feel like theirs), which would leave me feeling terribly frustrated.

8. Under no circumstances do I want to try to show our house to potential buyers with 3 young kids underfoot. This is akin to suicide in my book.

9. People who end up having the most wealth generally do not have the biggest, nicest, most awesomely decorated homes. They drive older cars and keep them maintained. They stay in their home and pay it off, early if at all possible. They live within, or considerably well under, their means.

10. We technically have 4 bedrooms (one of them is in the walkout basement) and our garage will feel MUCH larger when there isn't a Little Tykes coupe, a wagon, 2 strollers, a big wheel, a scooter, 2 play lawnmowers and multiple shelves full of outside kiddie toys.

11. Moving into this house, before we had kids and all the junk that goes along with younguns, was a pita. I cannot clean the bathroom without the kids trashing the rest of the house, so I can't fathom what packing boxes would be like.

This conversation always reminds me of how differently D and I look at life situations. He is of the "Is this the best there is?" mindset, while I am of the, "Is this better than what I have now?" mindset.

He still, nearly 10 years after buying this home, still thinks we should have looked longer. I, on the other hand, was plenty worn out after looking at some 20 homes. This house had an already finished basement, was midway between his parents and my parents, was close to his work, and it was a heck of a lot bigger and nicer than our first home.

D's parents built their home in the early 80s, and my parents built their home in 2001, and despite building what they "wanted," they now realize there are things they would change. And this is what I tell D when we have this discussion. Even if we had bought the "best" there was, ten years afterwards, he would no longer think it was the best there was.

Given his line of thinking, I am very surprised that he has stuck with me for 13 years of marriage.

1 comment:

If you purchased a home in 2010, you may be eligible to claim the First-Time Homebuyer Credit, whether you are a first-time homebuyer or a long-time resident purchasing a new home. The purchaser must have been at least 18 years old on the date of purchase; for a married couple, only one spouse must meet this age requirement. Learn more:

About Me

I am a mom of three diagnosed with OCD and GAD during my 2004-2005 postpartum period, although I very likely have been dealing with both since about age 10. They didn't disorder my life enough to require meds and therapy until after I became a mom.