i need you to need me.

02/11/2020

I did it, folks... I hit the 50 lb weight loss milestone! I was working nights last week and my eating habits get all wonky (as does my sleep/wake cycle) and somehow that helped. I took some pics, which surely you've seen if you follow any of my socials, and as dumb as I've felt taking mirror pics these last 8 months, it really does help to see the difference. Dropping clothing sizes helps too (I'm down a size in shirts and 2 in pants) but I remind myself that brands and styles all fit differently, so maybe it's just weird sizing - almost like I want to talk myself out of believing the progress that I've made. If I could maintain a 5 lb/month loss, I'd be in great shape by the time I see my surgeon in June, and maybe we could finally get my reconstruction on the books. I have to focus; case in point, I'm perfectly full from dinner but I really want to shove a bunch of chocolate in my face right now, so this entry is a distraction from that.

Oh! I found the employee gym today (it was not hard, it's literally behind a door in our locker/change room marked "Exercise Room"). I didn't actually use it, because I worked a late shift and wanted to get home. I didn't even really investigate it, beyond its location, because there was someone going hard on a treadmill and I didn't want to bother them or embarass myself. But now I know where it is, that it has a bunch of weight and cardio equipment, and that I'm going to use it at 1500h Thursday (my next early shift). I'm declaring it here so I'm accountable to y'all.

Josh works on Friday night, and my work bestie's husband is out of town, so I think that Piper and I will be valentines with Lisa and her daughter. Pink Starbucks treats and heart shaped pizza, here we come.