Some jobs are like hot men

It is my life’s goal to determine if drunk thoughts are real thoughts.

An Open letter to the remaining single male Boston College alumni attending the BC/VTech Game this weekend

October 16, 2008

Hi Men,

I wanted to take a moment to remind you about the finer points of marrying a fellow Boston College alumnus in light of this weekend’s festivities.

As I’m sure you know ending up with someone who possesses like interests is one of the keys to a successful, lasting relationship. These most often include similar family background, personal morals, level of education, and life goals.

As I’m sure you also know, it can be very hard to ascertain these details at loud bars, via vague Facebook profiles, and in Manhattan.

But with a fellow Boston College alumna, there are no questions.

She is either from Massachusetts, New York, or New Jersey.

Her morality prompts her to engage in volunteerism and avoid stealing but does not prevent her from hooking up with you.

She likely applied to and got into all the same colleges you did, but chose BC thus proving her overall intelligence.

Her goals are to own a spot on Shea so she can throw the world’s greatest tailgates making her future BC students the envy of all their peers.

Though that should really be enough, of equal significance is the laundry list of things you will never have to explain to your fellow BC-alum spouse:

That Newton was way better than Upper because it provided a close-knit, lasting community – That there is no hotter place on earth than a packed Mod during a party – That living in 66, even though it’s technically for losers, is still way better than living on College Road – The annoyingness of OLs (unless you were an OL in which case probably best to end up with another OL – you shouldn’t have trouble finding them; they travel in packs) – The significance of a cappella, a Jesuit Education, and the real secret to Kairos.

Each Boston College class is comprised of approx. 49% male and 51% females Taking into account lesbians, nuns, and girls who stayed with their high school boyfriends – there are enough of us for each of you. Get ‘er done.As we head into this very important game weekend let’s keep those Jesuit tenents in mind and find some time to focus on being men and women for each others. See you on Shea,Jessie