“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce

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2 Kings7:13 One of his advisers replied, “Pick some men and have them take five of the horses that are left in the city. (Even if they are killed, their fate will be no different than that of all the Israelite people – we’re all going to die!) Let’s send them out so we can know for sure what’s going on.”

Its meaning should be:"Have some gay and bestial fun before the world ends."

11:19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at him, a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ But wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.”

The use of "her deeds" clearly shows that the "son of man" was in fact a woman in drag, and that those around her were completely fooled by the disguise. From this deception we can see that the Son of Man was in fact also wearing a false beard, probably purchased on the way to a stoning - something that is clearly corroborated by the astounding documentary "Life of Brian".

We can also infer from this text that the woman was fat - presumably this was an aid to her disguise. She probably had naturally large breasts that could not be hidden, and so she put on weight so that people would assume them to be moobs. The plausibility of this explanation makes it clear that in order to properly venerate her, it is vital that humans eat as many jam doughnuts as possible, and in particular that the female of the species should dress as the male in all occasions. It is especially important on sandy beaches, as these mirror the sandy deserts of the Holy Land. Therefore when on holiday, it is the Lord's wish that all women wear mankinis.

Finally we can infer from the text that heavy drinking, tax collecting and, above all, sinning, are all practices that develop our wisdom, and should be engaged in as often as possible. The text suggests that merely being a friend of tax collectors is acceptable, therefore nobody should vote Republican as they are clearly agents of Satan.

So go; eat, drink and sin! For these are the practices of the wise. And on election day, vote for the party with the highest tax increases!