"Join the book club, as an introductory offer, we'll send you the followingbooks absolutely free:

-EAT, RUN, STAY FIT, AND DIE ANYWAY-HOW TO SEEM INTELLIGENT-THERE'S BIG MONEY IN STAYING PUT-PIECE OF MIND BY LOSING COMPLETE CONTROL FOR 16 HOURS A DAY-YOUR THIGHS CONTROL YOUR LIFE-HOW TO FILLET A PANDA-RID YOURSELF OF DOUBT, OR SHOULD YOU?-CHANCES ARE, YOUR SISTER'S FULL OF SH*T-HOW TO GIVE YOURSELF A COMPLETE PHYSICAL WITHOUT GETTING UNDRESSED-64 GOOD REASONS FOR GIVING UP HOPE-WHY JEWS POINT-A HUNDRED DEAD PEOPLE NOBODY MISSES-BACKPACKING FOR SHUT-INS-MY DOG IS A REAL FRUIT-YOUR SHOES ARE WORTH MONEY-REORGANIZING YOUR POCKETS-WHAT TO WEAR ON THE TOILET-124 SIMPLE EXERCIZES FOR THE TEETH-THE STAINS IN YOUR SHORTS CAN INDICATE YOUR FUTURE-TIPS ON GETTING LAID-SELF-MUTILATION AS AN ATTENTION GETTER-600 WAYS TO GIVE PEOPLE THE SHAFT-TREMBLE YOUR WAY TO FITNESS-YOU GIVE ME 6 WEEKS, AND I'LL GIVE YOU SOME DISEASE

And if you join today, we'll send the following books absolutely free:

-POEMS FOR THE INSANE-A TREASURY OF POORLY UNDERSTOOD IDEAS-APARTMENT HUNTING FOR DEVIL WORSHIPPERS-A COMPLETE LIST OF ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE STILL PENDING

And these books on food are yours:

-THE INTRAVENOUS COOKBOOK-THE MEANING OF CORN-FILL YOUR LIFE WITH CROUTONS-THE FOOD COLORING DIET-COOKING FOR THE PARALYZED-COOKING WITH HEAT

And if you join today, we'll send the following books absolutely free:

-CONTROLLING FEAR WITHOUT GETTING FRIGHTENED-THINGS NO ONE CAN HELP-UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER MEET-SIX WAYS TO F**K UP BEFORE BREAKFAST-MARRIAGE FOR ONE-I SUCK, YOU SUCK-LET'S CHANGE THE ALPHABET-FAMOUS BULLSH*T STORIES-SPORT FISHING WITH POWER SAWS-WHY HAWAII AND NORWAY ARE NOT NEAR EACH OTHER

And if you join today we'll send the following books absolutely free:

-A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO MEAN WELL-DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR OLD SKIN-10 THINGS WE DON'T KNOW YET-CARING FOR THE SEATED-THE WRONG UNDERWEAR CAN KILL-TROTTING ACROSS ZAIRE-WHY IT DOESN'T SNOW ANYMORE -THE COMPLETE LIST OF EVERYONES' PERSONAL EFFECTS-SIX CITIES THAT NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN TO-I GAVE UP HOPE AND DIED, AND IT WORKED-FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO WERE WIRY-THE LIVES OF 6 EXTREMELY SHORT SAINTS

And if you join today, we'll send the following instruction books absolutelyfree:

-HOW TO DO EVERYTHING AT ONCE-HOW TO GIVE PEOPLE YOUR BEST REGARDS-HOW TO SPOIL OTHER PEOPLE'S FUN-HOW TO KILL A RAT WITH AN OBOE-HOW TO ORGANIZE A 'TUPPERWARE' GANG BANG-HOW TO WAVE GOODBYE WITHOUT MOVING YOUR ARMS-HOW TO SPOT TRULY VICIOUS PEOPLE IN CHURCH-HOW TO GET BACK FROM BOSTON-HOW TO LEASE OUT THE SPACE INSIDE YOUR NOSE-HOW TO GET A TAN WITH A FLASHLIGHT-HOW TO START A RANGE WAR-HOW TO SPOT A CREEP FROM A DISTANCE-HOW TO GIVE A KING A REALLY HARD TIME-HOW TO KILL YOUR NEPHEW-HOW TO BECOME A GREASEBALL and-HOW TO TURN UNBEARABLE PAIN INTO EXTRA INCOME