March 31, 2013

Was I walking like a victim the evening I got mugged in New Haven, Connecticut or was I simply walking on a block I shouldn't have been on after 3 P.M.? That's what I asked myself after reading, in one sitting, Kevin Dutton's amazing book "The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What saints, spies, and serial killers can teach us about success."

Dutton's hypothesis, which he sets out to prove in the 222 pages of text, is that the typical traits of psychopaths are also the ones many highly successful leaders, businesspeople, and artists also have. They include:

Those who keep a lid on these traits don't wind up in jail, on death row, or dead on the street from a fight. Those who don't can go down in history as a serial killer like law student Ted Bundy. Before he was executed, Bundy boasted that he knew exactly who would make good victims for him by their walk. Psychologists were fascinated by that contention and tested it out. Sure enough, Dutton tells us, that proved to be true.

If our walk can mark us as vulnerable to whatever, we have to consider other possible signals we're giving off that undermine our ability to succeed in whatever field we are in. Mine, a coach I paid a king's ransom informed me, was too-open body language and too friendly a smile when entering the room in which business was to be conducted. "You're broadcasting a message of insecurity," he said. He was on the money. When calling on prospects or current clients now I proceed with Great Gravitas.

In addition to coaching, we can learn plenty about how to up our game by observing the psychopaths in our midst and taking on the traits which can be easily incorporated into how we present ourselves. Often those psychopaths are the very successful members of our family who we only encounter on holidays like Easter.

In a turbulent economy we need the time to continually reinvent ourselves. The trick in carving out that time is to prevent pests - aka barbarians from our past, going all the way back to nursery school - from even toying with the idea of reaching out to us.

I thought I had done a good job of that. I assumed through my persona, list of clients, and publishing the message was clear that I was not the nostalgia type. Or, to put it metaphorically, the drawbridge had been pulled down and the moat stocked with alligators.

Then a little note arrived snail mail. I didn't recognize the return address (how could I since I hadn't been in contact with this acquaintance from college since the mid 1980s). I opened it. The content saluted me for being a wonderful person. What nerve, I thought. Why did this whatever feel compelled to assess my goodness or lack of it and share that with me. Had I finished my law degree I would have known a way to sue for this kind of insult.

Apparently, since then I have improved my game. Haven't had that kind of attempted moat-crossing in several years. A useful read on clearing the wreckage of the past, especially the broken people still wandering around the emotional debris, is "Necessary Endings" by Henry Cloud.

March 30, 2013

It's morning in America when it comes to the public relations (PR) industry.

As Odwyerpr.com reports, in 2012, 15 of the 25 largest PR firms surveyed had double-digit growth. Leader of the pack was Edelman, at 12.4%. So, as expected, Millennials are flocking to this field which welcomes with open arms all majors, including the humanities, as long as the graduating seniors can solve problems creatively.

Across the nation, there are career meetups for upperclassmen to hear expert advice on what is expected of them on the front lines of PR and to be interviewed by recruiters from PR agencies, corporate communications departments, and trade associations. One of those will be held in Manhattan this coming Tuesday at the Kimmel Center.

Head of Odwyerpr.com, Jack O'Dwyer has already talked with many of those who have been extended offers or soon will be. What's on their minds, Jack says, are the values of the organizational culture, especially the ethics. They want his guidance on how not to get caught up in the pressure to keep clients happy - at all costs. Through the grapevine they have heard sordid tales of "extraordinary pressure" to do things which are clearly not kosher. They know that they could wind up being flamed on Gawker.com or BusinessInsider.com for misleading statements or worse.

"I tell them that this is a 'systems problem,'" says Jack. "Way back at the turn of the century the Ethics Resources Center found that about half the members of the Public Relations Society (PRS) reported that, yes, they felt caught in that field of force to say and act unethically. Yet, this hasn't become a major issue for discussion, with the focus on solutions. Why?"

On his own site Odwyerpr.com, Jack and his staff do often present what they frame as conflicts which involve ethics and often also the law. However, much more than unilateral action is needed if PR can remain a growth field.

Otherwise, like the distressed legal sector, which has lost client trust (the latest scandal is alleged overbilling of clients at DLA Piper), it will begin shrinking. For the Class of 2012 for law graduates, according to the American Bar Association, only 56% landed full time law jobs, reports the THE NATIONAL LAW JOURNAL. And no one is betting if those who did land on their feet will still have jobs three or four years from now.

Instead of a boom industry, PR could go bust, as law did in 2007. A useful read for incoming PR representatives could be the new book "The Lawyer Bubble" by Steven Harper, a chronicle of lousy ethics, greed, and short-term self-interest.

March 29, 2013

Today there are being developed mobile apps for public safety, such as using BigData to predict crime in a specific location. The prototype for that was the advanced gadgetry the creators of "Dick Tracy" introduced in the 1940s.

Super hero Tracy had, for example, his two-way crime-stopper wristwatch. That ensured the miscreants, about who there was no ambiguity that they were evil, would be put on notice that their antisocial behavior would not be tolerated.

Newtown, Connecticut was once an ordinary American town known to be good for rearing a family. Children could play baseball until it was supper time. There would be lots of time before having to worry about getting into college.

Now, after the Sandy Hook elementary school massacre, nothing is ordinary. THE NEW YORK TIMES reports the house fire of the Barth family. This is news-worthy because none of the Barth children had been killed.

Brand Newtown will be the identity of every resident who had been alive that day as well as their descendants. Obituaries could well start out with "John Doe, a second-grade student in Sandy Hook school the day 20 children were murdered, died of natural causes at age 94."

March 28, 2013

It was psychologist William James, brother of novelist Henry James, who opined that the hunger for religion and spirituality comes from great suffering. Former New Jersey governor James McGreevey is an example of that archetype.

In THE NEW YORK TIMES, Michelle Green reports that after McGreevey resigned that leadership post under a cloud of gay, he sought salvation first in psychotherapy, a common stop-off for the wounded. Then once he re-grouped he studied at the General Theological Seminary and is now ministering to others as a recovery specialist. That passion to share what we have learned (and which saved our lives) is also common.

Depending on how recovered I myself feel I vacillate between the longing to train to become an American Buddhist nun and the reality that I am already 67 and maybe I should just settle in and enjoy the inner peace I sometimes enjoy.

Suffering doesn't necessarily bring extreme joy. Sometimes it just dumps in our lap the big job of trying to get and stay centered.

Part of the dramatic tension in "Mad Men," which will resume on April 7th, is the expectation that main characters will commit suicide. The members of the ad agency each struggle with their own form of despair.

Last season Lane, who couldn't get from under his father's foot (remember the scene when his father stepped on his hand) hung himself. That was after he was canned for stealing from the company.

Could the first episode of the season, which will run two hours, start with a bang and have deeply unhappy Pete check out? Since he rides Metro North from his awful life in the Connecticut suburbs to the office it's possible that he could jump in front a train while it is going full speed. Another possibility is that when he gets to Grand Central he could descend to the subway and, like so many have been doing these days, do a swan dive in front of the #4 or #5.

A long shot for suicide is Joan. So lacking in self-esteem she could jump out the window at work. She could leave a scathing letter castigating each member of the ad agency.

Because no one who's engaged in a successful suicide has come back to tell us the internal and external dynamics which triggered that transaction self-deliverance remains a mystery. As such, it's rich in theatrical possibilities.

March 27, 2013

What is Cate Edwards or her father John Edwards up to? Television is for strategic sharing. Lance Armstrong did his duty on the small screen sharing his secrets with Mother Oprah. That was to be the platform for his comeback.

Now we have Cate Edwards sharing on NBC with Savannah Guthrie this Friday, reports POLITICO, about her feelings about her father's affair. She shares that she was "devastated." Not too much of a shocker, is that?

Of course, she will share more than that. But we have to wonder what she and/or her father are up to. Will she enter politics? Will he look for some kind of dignified position? Is she fundraising for the foundation in honor of her late mother Elizabeth which she is heading? Is this meant to be rite of passage in which she becomes the matriarch of the family?

Time will tell. THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER might have to dive back into monitoring the Edwards and provide us with some clues.