Married and lonely – Dave

Meet Dave. He’s married and lonely. Dave loves his wife, but since they had kids, her focus has changed. He used to be the centre of her world, but then the children arrived and so did her focus.

Now, all she wants to do is look after the kids and his feelings of loneliness continue to grow,

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re never lonely.

A marriage can make you feel more alone than being single sometimes. You have a partner and they’re there for you as much as they can be. But, the issue is that the kids mean they just don’t have that much available energy to give you time or understand how you’re feeling. The support you had after a tough day has filtered out and instead this is now replaced by you needing to put in the effort of listening about feeding, sleep patterns and do bath time as soon as you walk through the door.

You get no peace. Sure, you’re out at work all day, but it’s not like this time is your own.

And Dave would like nothing more than to relax with a hot bath himself. Followed by sex with his wife, who he still adores to let off some steam.

But there’s no time. Nor energy for that. And Dave finds this understandably difficult. It’s not like he’s had the time to adapt. One day he was lying in bed next to his wife. The next, there was a baby between them.

This happened to Dave. We can see how he is now married and lonely. They were blissfully happy, but then when they started their lives as parents, his partner needed to divert all of her emotional resources to her family. Don’t get him wrong. Dave idolises his kids. He loves them with every ounce of his being. He goes to work every day. And he works hard. All so his wife and kids can have the best life possible.

But this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t resent them.

This isn’t a talk that he’d have with his friends.

Dave is ashamed and has an internal conflict about the way his family bring out his passive aggressive side. All he longs for is intimacy with his partner, but when she’s with him, although she may be in the same room, her mind is elsewhere. It’s like their intimacy slipped away when the children arrived and they’ve turned into one of those functioning couples who have lost the physical connection.

With no sign of getting it back soon.

Dave is a dutiful husband. And he doesn’t want to cheat on his wife. The idea of hurting her feelings slices through his heart like a dagger. Even though he understands his life was partly his choice, there are still times when he questions the validity of his decision to become a father now that the harsh reality of the sacrifices he and his wife have to make are clear.

Try talking to your partner, now that’s a joke.

Dave feels like he walks on eggshells. His wife’s nerves are frayed at the best of times nowadays. Level headed sensible communication about a touchy situation is something that he has tried and learned fast that they’re best to avoid.

And for sure, they’re emotionally sharing the responsibility, but he can’t let off the steam of that with the person to whom he is closest to anymore. When they share a sexual experience, it’s rushed. And he feels his wife has checked out. These are genuine issues.

Every person needs love. And to feel that love.

But, sometimes, the person we’re used to giving us that love doesn’t have the resource. She may even experience a level of depression herself after the birth.

This is how Dave feels. He’s married. He loves his wife. But he needs more than she has to give him at the moment.

The last thing he wants is to hurt his wife.

But his needs are valid. His need to be sexually stimulated, to feel love and compassion and have some time out to himself are driving him insane.

And so Dave comes to see us regularly. We lighten his load and he returns to his wife in a more calm state. More prepared, and able, to be the excellent husband he wants to be.

Dave isn’t a real client. Out of respect for the privacy of our clients, we would never tell you exact stories about any one individual. However, Dave is such a common issue that many of our regular clients deal with.

When you’re asking what is a naturist massage, it’s also important to understand a few key points. Because not all naturist massages are equal.

Here we’ll break down what each is and what naturist massage means for each. This will allow you to make an informed decision about whether you would like to book a professional tantric therapeutic massage with us, or to book one of the erotic massages offered by providers on directories.

Tantric Massage Therapy

Tantra andtantricmassage are buzzwords. But who understands what they mean? It’s an intricate method of delving into ourselves where red is for sexual tantra and white is for self-discovery. So the term tantra is broad. And this is confusing.

As the many directories advertise tantra massage when they don’t even know what makes a massage tantric.

There are so many kinds of massage and it’s confusing knowing what it is you should choose. Intimate massage can be a special service that makes you feel amazing. Or it can fall flat.

What is a Sensual Massage?

Pleasure massages are ones where there is no muscular work, and the focus is on sensuality. We may refer these to as

They’ll include hand relief, hand release or happy ending. These are all terms for the same thing. Ejaculation.

These massages last between one or two hours.

Any of the above pleasure massage will cover your full-body and finish with massage of your sexual organs/ genitals. The technical term for this is a lingam massage, although we can include this throughout the massage with the release at the end. The female equivalent is yoni massage.

The pleasure massages are relaxing experiences which allow sexual release in an environment where you feel comfortable and safe. These erotic massages are great for stress relief whilst being pampered in expert and safe hands.

Sensual massage does not include oral or penetrative sex.

Tantric Massage vs Sensual Massage

Traditional tantric massage is a level up from sensual massage or erotic massage. Your therapist will have trained at a specialist school where they learnt tantric practices. They’ll pass these onto you.

We have done this training and have adapted our sensual massage experiences to include some tantra elements for your heightened enjoyment. We’ll open up energy flow, and therefore even the sensual massages that we offer take time. Tantra is a minimum of two hours although we understand that this is an enormous commitment for many people and so we offer a 1.5 hour option. It’s not as good though!

There is tantric sex, but this isn’t what is on offer in a tantric therapy experience. We’re working with your energy and healing practices to provide you an elevated level of intimacy and connection – and enjoyment from your body. We’ll activate energy flow that some people say is like being high. This natural and pure hedonistic pleasure doesn’t have the side effects of drugs.

Tantric massage will allow you to experience your sexuality in a brand new light. This will open up your mind to a new understanding of your nature — being spiritual and sensual. Tantra will also make you a better physical lover.

So back to our original question, what is a naturist massage?

For us, naturist massage means you are naked. Your therapist may or may not be naked, but because the massages we offer are mostly of a deeply sensual nature, we feel it is better if both you and your masseuse are completely naked for the duration of your treatment.

If you’re having a more therapeutic touch such as deep tissue with hand release, then because your session is about healing your muscles rather than your mind and soul, although you’re getting an orgasm at the end, the focus isn’t on sensuality. You will be naked for your massage, but your therapist will not.

What are the benefits to a naturist massage?

What you can expect varies by the different modalities. they allow your life force to flow in an authentic sensual environment. This nudist experience is liberating, giving you not only sexual relief and self-discovery but also some warm steps to enjoy with your partner.

Where are you based?

You can enjoy any of our naturist massages at our modern tantra space in Romford. This borders on Essex and East London. If you’d like to know more about the techniques, there is a greater run down here. If you have questions, then you might want to check out our FAQ page which will give you immediate answers as we can’t always reply immediately to your text messages.

If you’re looking for professional Naturist massage services in London or Essex then we’ve got your covered. Based in Romford, we’re on the border of London and Essex and provide a whole range of Naturist massage services.

Our therapists are English, trained in tantra and professional throughout.

We ask the same of you.

What naturist massage services do you offer?

Sensual massage

This is the most popular of our naturist massage services. A minimum of one hour, the techniques used are based on tantra but don’t require the same time commitment. Consider this a mini tantra massage.

You and your therapist are both naked during this most erotic of sensual experiences. You’ll leave feeling like you’ve had time out from the real world.

Tantra massage

This is the ultimate of our naturist massage services that we offer. It is a minimum of 1.5 hours but to get the most out of your experience, you should really try and book 2 hours.

The process takes time but is a wonderful joy that is well worth it. The effects of a tantra massage will last for days and even weeks.

Both you and your therapist are naked during this elongated period of erotic massage. You’ll connect your mind and spirits during this sensual experience, working with breathing techniques to induce a deep state of connection.

Your tantric massage will be done on a specialist pad on ground rather than a massage table as with our other naturist massage services.

Naturist massage Essex

Naturist naked massage

The naturist naked massage is much like the sensual massage. It encompasses gentle, sensual touch. Both you and your masseuse are naked throughout. This massage won’t work your muscles.

If you have knots that need therapy, then please book the deep tissue massage with hand release.

Ladies full massage

During this ladies full massage you can choose whether you are naked or not. So the choice is yours as to how you feel.

Generally our clients prefer to be naturist during this erotic massage experience even though it does not include a yoni massage (massage of female gentials)

Deep tissue massage with hand release

The deep tissue massage with hand release is the right option if you need some tight muscles working out. During the deep tissue massage with hand release, only you will be naturist. Your therapist will remain clothed.

The hand release at the end will be a lingam massage for men or yoni tantra massage for our females. This is an intense process of edging prior to release.

How do I book one of the Naturist massage services you offer?

You can text us on 07982 491392 and we’ll come back to you as soon as we’re free. We do take bookings on the day, please check our terms and conditions of booking and our FAQ’s page too.

What is a naturist massage?

Naturist massage can mean unconventional things to distinct people but at Sensual Massage Tantric Massage Essex, we consider this to be when BOTH the therapist and you as our client are naked. We conduct your entire treatment naturist by both participants.

Tell me about the naturist massage you offer in Essex

This all starts before you arrive. You need to be clean and well groomed. Prepare well. This helps you build the anticipation for the naturism you have booked and are looking forward to.

When you arrive at the address in Essex, you will wait in your car until the exact time of your appointment. Your heart will race, you’ll be tingling all over. And you’ll think about leaving.

Don’t.

This is normal. And it’s part of your naturist massage experience.

When it’s time for you to start, your tantra masseuse will meet you. And you’ll start out with a consultation. Your hands may shake as you hand over the payment. Your voice will be hoarse as you answer questions. And you’ll be wondering what on earth possessed you to think you ever saw the sense in booking this special experience?

This is one of the techniques to heighten your senses. And because our naked massages are intense. We need to know about any underlying health conditions so we can make sure you are safe throughout. If you have questions, this is your time to ask them, but don’t forget we’ve covered a lot already on our FAQ page.

After this, you’ll be show into your massage treatment room where your experience will take place. The lighting will be dim, the mood will be charged, and this is where we will realise your greatest pleasures.

You’ll undress and hang up your clothes. You’ll be slow and take care. When you lie on the massage table, you’ll feel your heart pounding into the cushioning.

Why on earth did you think you’d enjoy this?

Trust us. We have years of experience over lots of clients. We know what we’re doing. You’re in expert hands.

When you shout, your tantra therapist will join you. You won’t be able to see. Your imagination will swim wildly with anticipation. Her hands will touch you, and you’ll shiver under her caress. Your mind will swirl.

And then when your naturist massage starts, you’ll relax into the experienced touch of a professional who knows what they’re doing in treatments. The natural flow will build sexual tension. You’ll tingle, you’ll bulge, you’ll relax.

Knots you didn’t know you had will be released whilst others we will allow others glow under the dim light of the treatment room. Your physical prowess will surprise you, you’ve not felt like that in such a long time. And you won’t even notice until afterwards how relaxed you are with your entire experience.

You’ll de-stress physically and mentally.

Motion builds, we introduce a lingam massage to your pelvic region. Your genitals will ache with the efficient temptation of your arousal.

Then your mind will go blank.

You’re aroused, you’re hard. And that is all you can think about as you plummet to a different level of relaxation, all consumed by the burning heaviness in your groin.

Eventually you’ll be allowed to release. And you’ll do so with full appreciation of your naturist position and that of your naked masseuse.

Sensual massage tantric massage Essex are easily accessible from around Essex including Hornchurch, Brentwood as far as Colchester because of the fast connecting road networks. We do not allow walk-ins you must book an appointment before you visit on text.

Where is Essex can I get this?

We’re close to key routes in Romford, so this gives you easy access whether you’re coming from the coast or London.

Why would I make the trip to Essex for your naturist massage?

We’re English

Not only do we do a nudist massage, but we’re trained in tantra. This elevates the naturist massage to a whole different level.

Your body session will be without clothes, but it won’t be a dirty brief liaison. We won’t be offering you additional activities such as sex. You’ll be in a clean environment with professionals.

Our clients love their partners, in fact they love everything about their lives. Except the one thing. They’re complaining, ‘I hate my sexless marriage.’ Sex within a relationship is important. It’s the one thing that defines this person as a partner as opposed to being a good friend. The intimacy that we share during sex is incomparable to anything we can ever experience with someone who we are close with on a platonic level.

It can be for any number of reasons. For sure, hormones and stress can play a huge role. When women hit a certain age, their hormones change and that drive literally disappears, because the hormones aren’t there to create it anymore. Likewise, stress changes a person’s sexual urges. When people are busy in their lives, through children or work for instance, then that life takes all the available energy that we used to put into feeling sexy around our loved ones. There is simply nothing left in our depleted energy resources to desire our partner. And so a couples sex life understandably dies. But when the other partner is under different strains, or their hormone balance is working out differently, then this is what leads them to complain, I hate my sexless marriage. They may even hate it more because pretty much all the rest of the times they love everything about their life. Including their husband or wife. They certainly don’t want to do anything to mess that up. And so they feel trapped.

Here’s some tales from our clients:

I’ve been happily married for over 40 years (substitute any amount of time in here, we’ve heard this repeatedly). But I barely remember what a sex life was. We used to be at it all over the place, all of the time when we first met but as life moved on her sex drive as diminished and I’m left wanting.

My sex drive is higher than hers, which means that I live most of the time with my sexual needs being unmet. I find myself becoming agitated and short tempered, frustrated if you like. And then I’m flirting around other women, I don’t want to, it’s just something that I find myself doing.

I’d love to discuss this with her, but she just shuts me down. If we do manage to have a sensible conversation, nothing ever changes after our talk. I understand that this is because this aspect of our life is on different paths, but I’m tempted to have an affair even though the idea of being committed to someone else doesn’t float my boat as I love my wife. I don’t want to see a prostitute and I don’t want to cheat behind her back, but telling her this feels like blackmail.

I’ve even thought about splitting up so that I don’t have to live the rest of my life in a sexless marriage. But, is divorce the answer?

We didn’t have sex before we married for religious reasons and now we’ve finally got down to the act, the situation is not good. My wife has always been brought up that sex is bad and now we’re getting down to it, she has an emotional hang up which causes her to clam up at the vital point.

We can’t get past it. I don’t know what to do. Counselling with a therapist hasn’t helped her and I’m resigned to living within a sexless marriage. But i hate the thought of that. I need to be fulfilled.

My husband would be upset if he knew that he just can’t seem to make me orgasm. I know from past experience that this is possible, but he just can’t do the right things.

Our relationship has always been great. But when my wife got sick, so did the health of our physical connection. It’s not something that I feel comfortable having a communication with her about because it’s not her fault that her libido is down. It feels selfish of me to even complain when I think about what she’s going through. But, I still have needs.

It’s the weight. It drives me insane. She fears how I look at her after her weight gain, but I don’t care. I’m sick of being rejected by her, to me she looks wonderful, but she doesn’t believe me. It’s draining. And frustrating.

When we enter into marriages, we promise to forsake all others. But the resentment that brings about when our partner doesn’t give us the credit for the commitment that brings about can hurt. The bedroom is a big part of our life as a couple and even though logically we know in our head that our spouse’s sexlessness is nothing personal, it’s natural to crave our body touching, for passion to create a lightness in our world unlike the feelings generated by any other activity and for romantic fears the then creep in.

Here’s how to get the power back.

We understand all of the above comments from our clients, your issues although personal to you are also common. Bear in mind that these are just a handful of what we hear on a daily basis. The story is always the same, this is a difficult topic to communicate about with someone you love, because you love them. The very thing that makes them your go-to person for talking, is the one thing that in this instance, stops you from what you’d normally do. Because you don’t want to hurt them. That’s not your intention, you’re just looking to feel good about yourself and have your natural needs met.

The need for intimacy is one of the most natural instincts in the world

That’s why our clients come to us in Romford for a sensual massage, or a tantric massage. The effects of these last them for weeks, often a month and physically reduce the coil that bruises their love. We’re open night and day, so whenever you can grab an hour or so, you can book a last minute appointment and book right on in. It’s really not that difficult. Plus, we’re not going to offer you sex. Not at all. Sexual intimacy is for couples. We will offer you a sensuality unlike anything else that you have ever experienced. The sensations you feel will be strong enough to fulfill you for weeks. This is how we help people, like you, suffering from lack of libido and certainly complaining, ‘I hate my sexless marriage’ without you ever needing to cheat.

Text us to book in now so you no longer have to silently scream, ‘I hate my sexless marriage.’

If you’re looking for sensual massage music on Spotify then you’re in a great place, because as sensual massage experts we know the importance of setting the mood. Everything from mood lighting to the low music you listen to in the background all combine to enhance the sensuality of the experience.

That’s why we’ve personalised a playlist that will help you personalise the massage you give to your loved one and drive, the best, most intimate moments in time. Oh and by the way. This works great whether you’re a couple or just meeting someone for the first time. Just be sure if this is a stranger, that you perhaps knock back some of the middle songs until later on in the massage experience, they’re definitely not the kind of songs you’d hear in a spa.

Here’s our playlist.

Breathing SynchronisationTantric Music Masters — This first one does what it says on the tin. When we conjoin our breathing at the beginning, then this is the perfect accompaniment as it helps to mask any self-consciousness

Night Tantra Tantra Yoga Masters— Whilst we don’t recommend bird music generally for encouraging stimulation, this one is a great choice for when the tension is building as it represents the static in your brain as energy whooshes around and you start to lose control.

Men Tantra Tantra Yoga Masters— Also the right choice for when that hot tension is building.

Just Believe Tantra Yoga Masters– Perfect for when you’re coming back down again, during the process of edging.

Slow Love on Beach Tantric Music – Just a moment of calm where the waves represent the swooshing of your hormones.

Own Thoughts Tantra Yoga Masters — When we’re building back to another crescendo this is a wonderful choice.

Natural Aphrodisiac Tantric Massage — When you’re done and both of you are soooo relaxed and on that endorphin high.

Couple Meditation — Love Romance Music Zone — Drifting off to sleep holding each other close as you float away in each other’s arms.

We could go on forever, particularly as this will probably be more than a snatched moment alone. So, below are some tips on how to make sure you expand your list on Spotify to meet your personal requirements.

Find your own music, find your own style. But don’t lose the heat.

Finding your own music.

If you’re looking for beautiful hot tantra music that will get your partner hot then don’t just plump for new age wellness bird songs and waterfalls. There are a ton of generic relaxing playlists out there that wrap themselves up as being sensual, when in truth they’re no more sexy or erotic than a day out in nature.

You are looking for something with an undercurrent. A beat that will tune in with your heart and music made from erotic undertones rather than light flutes that reduce stress.

For sure, the whole point of tantra and sensual massage is that we reduce stress so you and your partner can get in touch with your inner sensuality, but there are ways to do this. And music that concentrates on those pure points to relax will induce calming moments rather than the intensity of sweaty skin on skin.

To make this Spotify playlist yourself, all you need to do is open up the Spotify app and find the songs. Then follow our guide on how to choose appropriately sexy tracks for the purity of each moment and then you can relax in the knowledge that when the time is right, you have everything you need.

Do I need to know anything about tantric massage to be able to give a great sensual massage to my partner?

It helps for sure. If you can personalise the experience you give someone with expert knowledge then all the better. But if you don’t then we’ve written this blog full of tips and advice for the specific purposes of helping you wherever you are in the tantric journey.

I’d prefer to experience a professional sensual or tantric massage services beforehand. Is this OK?

Yes, just book in by texting us on 07982 491392 and we’ll get you booked in. That way when you give the sensual massage to your partners you have experienced it yourself, you have a benchmark for your own measurement which gives you confidence.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to tell the difference between these hot tantric tunes and spa sounds

Oh, you will. Once you’ve listened to a few of the hot tracks, you’ll hear how they help partners to open up and their beat mimics the beautiful junctures of your sexy massage. You’ll hear that even in the calm moments, even though there is a relaxing undertone, this also combines with some kind of a reference to the sounds of our body’s. Listen closely and you’ll soon be able to spot the lilt of pure new age music which is only focussed on nature and calming.

But, like we said earlier, don’t be fooled by the title of the album or track in the app. Nor by the cover. Listen to the sounds that run through and if you have the right tracks, you’ll hear a rise of a waterfall that subsides like the rush of an orgasm. Or the calming wash of a wave will suddenly crash. White noise will distort everything else that plays behind it. That’s the type of sound you’re listening for,

These may not on the surface sound like sexy sounds, but when you tie them into the rise and fall of a great sensual massage, and the way your body and heart will race and then relax, you’re onto a winner.

How can I make my massage erotic, rather than just a boring old massage.

In this blog we’re talking about music and specifically tuning into Spotify so you have the music ready and you can just press play. But, first off, think about what would need to be in place to make this a calming moment for you. Get that right and you’re half way there. We’ll cover off some more tips to avoid producing a moment which is a simple stress buster and will help make sure that you turn this into one of those beautiful intimate moments where you’ll relax, but also engage.

Do your research, listen to the music ahead of time, save it into the Spotify app and then find the right moment when you’re both relaxing and gradually build up the heat together.