An ‘umble ‘istorian’s Reply to His Majesty King Johnson III (the mad one)

May it please you to receive these humble words after your recent proclamation on the foundation of the European Union.

I noted that your recent comments directly contradict your published edict of two years ago. Perhaps the facts of the last century have mysteriously changed in the intervening period. Like Mr. Keynes, when the facts change, you change your mind….or even when they don’t. Should your Majesty require further assistance I understand a current treatment for early onset Alzheimer’s is Aricept, twice anally per hour. I would be honoured to administer this for Your Majesty, as your wishes command.

I was particularly struck by your intriguing, some might say even original, argument that European integration is inspired by the Nazis. I feel this may come as something of a surprise to some of the people who worked so hard to bring Europeans together. In particular I think of Mme Simone Veil, who survived Auschwitz to become the first directly elected President of the European Parliament in 1979. I think it only right and fitting- given your deep historical knowledge of these matters and your concern for the truth, that Your Majesty correct Mme Veil for her error forthwith. I am sure she- and many other deluded survivors of death camps- will be gratified to have been informed of their mistakes and that their life’s work of reconciliation is founded on a lie.