Dr Laura
does it again! This kind of story is my favorite kind
of story to write. This stuff and Monkey Mail makes my day.

Friday in K-Drag (maybe Thursday where you
live) some idiot female called in to Laura the Unloved and said she used
to be a big pothead, and how should she handle the subject when her kids ask about
drinking and doing drugs.

The Incredible Fraud handled it this
way:

"Go get a pen and a piece of paper, I
need you to write this down." (The idiot does that)

"Now I want you to write two words down
on that piece of paper." (She got a pen and paper for two words?)

"The two words are 'WEAK' and "ASHAMED,"
can you write those down? Now, when your kids ask
about drugs and alcohol, you tell them,
'Mommy was WEAK enough to succumb to the
peer pressure at the time, and now Mommy is ASHAMED
of the stupid things she did years ago,' ...got that?"

ha ha (I'll bet most of you know where this bit
is going!)

Uh, excuse me, Laura, but I have a question,
is it OK if I ask it?

In October of 1998 (I remember it so well,
it was a Saturday about 2 PM) some photos appeared on the www and these photos
were widely spread, ...sorry, bad phrasing, these photos were widely distributed around
the world in a matter of mere minutes.

Note: I deny that I snatched
these vulgar photos and posted them on several worldwide newsgroups. I make no public claim concerning
the massive spreading (sorry) of these photos.

Click
Here to a censored version of Laura Schlessinger's
most vulgar picture.

Now, Laura, I have a few questions, ...if
it's OK for me to ask them...

When those photos hit the Internet, they
became an instant sensation. And what did you do, Laura, when those
photos hit? Did you take your own advice and stand
up and declare,

'I
was WEAK enough to succumb to the peer pressure at the time,
and now I am ASHAMED of the stupid things I did years ago."

Is that what you did, Laura? No, you issued a press release saying those
pictures were NOT you.

In other words,
Laura Schlessinger lied.

Then, a few days later, you sent your high-powered
attorneys to court. You instructed your attorneys to tell the
court you owned those pictures, and nobody should be allowed to distribute
them without your permission.

But Laura, if those pictures weren't of
you, how did you find yourself in the position of being the legal owner of pictures showing a woman
with her knees spread from Delaware to Colorado? I don't have a law degree, Laura, so I
fail to catch the legal nuance, there. Could you explain it to me in, ...sorry,
...layman's terms? We're you just fudging with the truth a
little, because it was about sex?It's OK to lie about sex, is that what
you're saying?

In other words,
Laura Schlessinger lied.

And then what happened? The judge ruled that, since the photos
had been, ...widely spread alllllll over the internet, it
wouldn't make much sense to declate them your private
property, since every pre-pube boy who ever heard your name was now committing sins with the vulgar
image of your nasty spread legs, Laura.

Hey, Laura, what does that feel like, knowing
that dozens of 14 year olds all over the globe were masturbating to your nasty-ass spread-leg
pictures?

And then what happened? Then you went
on The O'Reilly Factor, and when O'Reilly asked, "Hey, Laura, what's the deal with those
nasty-ass spead-legged pictures?" you
replied, "I have no memory of every being
in
any of those positions."

In other words,
Laura Schlessinger lied.

Laura, I have another question. Why didn''t you answer Mr. O'Reilly the
way you told that mother to confess to her kids? Why didn't you say, "I
was WEAK enough to succumb to the peer pressure at the time,
and now I am ASHAMED of the stupid things I did years ago."

Can you answer that, Laura? Why was your advice good for that young
mother, but not good for you? Why aren't you able to take your own advice,
Laura? Can you explain yourself?

Could the true answer be, Laura
Schlessinger lied?

I think I have that right, Laura, do you
agree? Why can't you tell the truth, Laura? Is there something in your psychological
makeup that prevents you from telling the truth? Aren't you the moral conscience of the
nation, you and Bill Bennett?

Why can't the moral conscience of the nation
tell the damn truth?

ha ha

Laura, your nasty ass is soooo busted. You don't have the credibility of Arthur
Anderson. Monica Lewinsky has more credibility than
you, Laura.

I'm calling you a liar,
Laura, and I think my case is very tight, ...sorry.

If this is libel or slander, why don't
you sue me? Could it be that you're a liar and Ol'
Bart is telling the truth?