Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Coworker: “That’s no good. Pop it on the counter and we’ll have a look.”

(The customer places the box on the counter. I’m standing nearby when my coworker opens the box. From the box emerges the most putrid smell you could ever imagine. My coworker has to jump back from the smell, holding his nose. Having known some ‘interesting’ people in my life though, I recognise the smell. I lean a bit closer to the box and sniff a few times.)

Me: “Mate… did you spill your bong water on this?”

Customer:*incredibly long awkward silence* “Yeah.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…not replacing it then?”

Me: “Not a chance.”

(The customer left and I got to try to explain to my coworker why I knew the smell of bong water so well.)

(I work on the drive-thru. It is in the winter and after we close. I pull my car up near the drive-thru window so I can run a cord out to the block heater while we close up. Most of the store lights are off, including the drive-thru menu and ‘open’ sign. Any cars that pull up after close hear an automated message: ‘thanks for your visit, but we are currently closed.’ As I’m cleaning, I can overhear the message on a headset that’s still on, but I ignore it; we usually get lots of customers showing up after close. About 20 minutes after, as we’re nearly finished, we suddenly hear banging and shouting at the window. The manager goes to the window and tries to tell her we’re closed, but she won’t have it, so he opens the window.)

Lady: “What the f*** is going on here?! I’ve been in line 20 minutes and there’s not even anyone in this car!”

Manager: “Ma’am, we’ve been closed for over 30 minutes now.”

Lady: “So why is the car just sitting here?!”

Manager: “That’s an employee’s car; we’re warming it up so it’ll be warm when we go.”

Lady: “That’s fine, but what about my order? The car is in the way you know! Your dumb-a** employee shouldn’t park in the drive-thru.”

Manager: “Well, I told you. We’re closed now.”

Lady: “Well, I ordered 20 minutes ago. What happened to that?”

(We all took off our headsets as soon as we closed, but my manager asked us if we took an order anyway.)

Manager: “No one here talked to you, ma’am.”

(The lady looks at me and the other guy standing behind the manager.)

Lady: “Well, some lady took my order. She shouldn’t have done that if you’re closed”

(At this point, we all figure out what has happened.)

Manager: “Ma’am, the only lady that worked tonight left four hours ago. Did you actually listen to what they said to you?”

Lady: “Yes. Well, no, not really. She answered and I placed my order. I was on the phone at the time.”

Manager: “Well, sorry, but that was an automated message informing you that we we’re closed.”

Lady: “…well, it should be more clear when you’re not open!”

(She walked away before we could point out the three different signs she would have passed that have our hours listed.)