Friday, November 27, 2009

Your drink of choice, whether fermented or not, says a lot about you. A beverage in a person's hand is a lot like an accessory, like jewelry or a man-bag. Disagree? Then why do you sometimes choose an inferior tasting beverage? Why the heck would anyone ever drink a Diet Coke? (Don't take that personally, but let's be honest with ourselves…)

But while I can read someone's entire personality by reading their creation at a salad bar (that is a whole 'nother blog post), a drink says more about a person's current mood or is a reflection of a particular social situation.

So without further ado, I present your bonus question answers with comments and point assignments.

Name your drink... Fear not, I'm not going to -- like -- judge, but I will "judge."

BD, Bob's Bobcats – Stout Margarita on the rocks with an extra shot of Cointreau.I won't let my own self-inflicted aversion to tequila impair my ability to score this choice. Choosing the margarita on the rocks automatically makes this drink choice manlier… and a real drink, not a snow cone. Bonus points for ordering it with an extra shot. I wholeheartedly approve, but may suggest a side shot of Amaretto to dump in there instead.+3 points

KW, Dallas D-Bags – Booker's Bourbon and Ginger Ale, I'm a man, I'm 29What does a guy in Dallas drink? Just kidding, but seriously, what is the drink of choice for the average Dallas choch-bag? Kyle has impeccable taste when it comes to fermented beverages. He is also an accomplished homebrewer… probably the best you guys have ever been in a fantasy league with. Drinking whiskey on the rocks is pretty fkn manly and probably garners K-dub a lot of respect among his peers. However, just saying the word ginger takes all that down a notch. I prefer Stranahan's on the rocks with a splash of Mexican Coke, but for some reason this choice is looked down upon by Whiskey/Bourbon snobs and Metroplexuals alike.+3 points

CC, Novacain – It depends on what day you ask me. Right now it's cold so I'll say single malt scotch.Cain is a man's man, and this is a classy choice and a classy explanation. Single Malt Scotch might be the manliest version of paint thinner that I have ever let burn each of my digestion related sphincters. Cain gets bonus points for pointing out the weather.+4 points

JHo, Demons – Crown Royal and CokeCrown Royal and Coke may be the most drinkable liquor cocktail that doesn't come with an umbrella. I love this choice, and have accidentally emptied entire bottles of Crown Royal Special Reserve with this magical concoction. I mean, once you open a Coke, you can't stop before the can is empty. That is wasting a good Coke, and there are thirsty kids in China.+3 points

JHa, I Will Beat Bob and Gary – BeerWho am I to disagree with Jess' drink of choice? It's generic, low maintenance, easy going… but solid. You are ambiguous in your answer, but I suggest drinking Independence beers. Every one you buy makes me richer in a very minuscule way.+2 points

GF, Six Six in Shoes – I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos EquisApparently in an attempt to be funny, Gary quotes the most overly quoted beer commercial since "Wasssssuuuuuuuuuuup." We used to go out all the time, and I can't remember you drinking Dos Equis or being even remotely interesting, so I'm going to have to dock you some points here. (I *kid* Gary, of course)+1 points

RH, Los Tigeres – Black & Tan with a side of Grand Manier (sp)Who the fk are you?!? I'm trying to figure out how to assign points to someone who drank 3 cases of Miller Lite every night for the entire time I knew him and then submits "Black & Tan with a side of Grand Marnier." Sh!t. Well, this is a combo that I've never had before; in fact I don't think I've ever done a shot of Grand Marnier on its own. The only thing I can do is Google the combination… and the results yield no Internet existence of this pairing… and if it doesn't exist on the Internet, then it doesn't exist. Therefore, I must assume that you are either a beverage pioneer or someone now orders your drinks for you.+2 points

AN, The MotherLoad – Ice Water: Good for any occasion... tailgating, bar drinking, dinner, etc. etc.I figured someone would go with H2O. Water is an excellent drink choice. I have like 4 or 5 bottle's worth of water a day, but I have a drinking problem. Extra points for the thoughtful pick, negative points for the double etcetera.+3 points

CJ, Beelzebubbles – Canadian Ltd with Diet Coke...12.99 a gallon boyyyyyyyyyyyyyCrystal is sick in every urbandictionary.com definition and a few Webster's definitions. What can I say here? Uncomplicated, cheap, almost unpalatable, but gets the job done. I'm talking about the drink, not Crystal of course.+2 points

GN, Ferments-A-Lot – Sierra Nevada Celebration AleNot only is Celebration Ale delicious, it embodies everything I think the perfect beer should be. It is full flavored, very hoppy, and bottle conditioned, yet it is readily available at stores everywhere (i.e. I don't have to give the creepy beer guy at Spec's a hand job so he'll reserve a sixer for me). Being bottle conditioned, I try to hold 1 or 2 back every year so that someday I can have an epic vertical tasting. To top it all off, this beer is seasonal, so the "for a limited time" or "while supplies last" mystique applies.+4 points (just saying, it's a good choice)

DW, Bevo XIV – Salty DogKirby has a salty dog………in his pants! So a Salty Dog is actually a Greyhound with a salt on the rim of the glass. I know this now thanks to Wikipedia. So we are talking about a drink that contains grapefruit juice and gin or vodka. Dave doesn't specify his white liquor of choice here, but either are cut severely by the addition of the grapefruit juice and then further smoothed out by the salt to finish. I'm making the assumption here that Dave likes to drink, but may not like the taste of alcohol.+3 points

A-C, Amy/Carrie's Team – Anything that comes in a can.Oh boy. *sigh*. Comes in a can. I swear that my mind does not spend too much time in the gutter, but I can't think of anything more to say here.+3 points

KZ, Suck It #15 – DiabloKimsey went on to say that "you should lose points if you don't know what it is because it's great… just ask Justin and Anu :) actually they probably won't even remember." I guess I qualify as someone who should lose points, but I did Google "Diablo." Apparently you are either referring to an energy drink or cocktail containing tequila, crème de cassis (a wine cocktail), ginger ale, and lime juice. Ginger ale is found in a lot of bars… and airplanes. Does it exist outside of these two places? Ever have a ginger ale with a sandwich? As for the Diablo, Google images would have me believe that this is served as either a pink or a blue drink. I'll stick with tequila shots.+3 points

JC, Justin's Team – SazeracMy research team tells me the Sazerac is the world's first "ko-k-tay," er coquetier, er cocktail. It was invented in pre-Civil War New Orleans, but enough of the history lesson. I'm guessing that Justin's preferred version isn't made with any wormwood, and I'm assuming he didn't pick Sazerac just to be "cool." I think you are cool anyway, even if you fall asleep at the bar half of the time we go out.+3 points

RK, BlitzKrieg – Augustiner (type depends on season, mood and occasion)Augustiner Bräu isn't in my fridge, but I can appreciate the support of an independent brewery that dates back to the 1300s and was first brewed by monks. This beer isn't available at Specs (or in Texas?) so I would appreciate it if you would send me some.+3 points

KH, Mr. Smokey Pants – Saint Arnold X-Mas CaskKirby added "had it last night on our first night out post-kid (Kevin will say Erin Andrews' breast milk)." St. A's X-Mas is average in the bottle, but still pretty good on draft. However, your points are going to be based on the suggestion for Kevin. The point he lost for not mentioning EA… you get.+4 points

CG, 12 Nat'l Championships – Maker's Mark on the rocks kidThat's funny, because I woulda pegged you as a Piña Colada kind of guy. Nah, just kidding. This is a fine choice and one that was not unexpected. It's a tough, ass-kicker's drink, which is exactly how I picture you… since we've never met.+3 points

JN, Naked Bootleggers – Dogfish Head 60min IPAIf you are a guy and you haven't heard of Dogfish, you are missing the rise of the best thing that has happened to the craft beer scene since Sam Adams. If you are a lady, then you need to Google image Sam Calagione. Dogfish Head, located in Milton, DE, has expanded since I visited a few years back, but at the time they said they could only fill 10% of the orders they received. Bud/Miller/Coors may be squashing all their competition and ruining the palettes of the American beer drinker, but Dogfish Head seems to be doing just fine despite having the cards stacked against them.+3 points

1 comment:

When I was at a Whiskey tasting event with Fred Noe (Jim Beam relative and inventor of Knob Creek), he said that his grandmother would have a Bookers and ginger ale every night. And let's face it, she absolutely had to of been more of a man than anyone on the face of the earth right now. So I stand by my choice, beotch.