Project Gayway

Henry is sooooo not a terrible homophobic bigot. Really! But for a long time his thing has been to make fun of things that I like by making up dumb nicknames for them that not-so-subtly imply that these bands/books/movies/etc/are not heterosexual. With the exception of “Belle and Fagbastion,” these nicknames are never puns — they’re even dumber than puns. I’m doing a bad job of explaining this. Here’s a good example: someone who was actually trying to be clever would make a joke about “Bareback Mountain” or “Bareback Mountin’”. Henry would (sigh . . . actually/did) call this movie “Gayback Mountain.”

So tonight there’s a dumb recap episode of a really dynamite reality show that I like to watch (in spite of the fact that there’s no clear villain or hero this year/but oh well). Henry called this show “Project Gayway.” This/in spite of the fact that “Project Runway” itself is pretty much the gayest possible combination of non-obscene words in the English language. Last night Alice and I drunkenly theorized that this is pretty much like being such a frat boy that you are literally like “heh heh/Queer Eye! QUEEER EYE!”

Actually/if it could be the same concept as Queer Eye except repositioned as a competition to be the most gay/Project Gay is a good idea for a reality show. File under ‘Who Wants to be an:00 AMerican Citizen.’