Friday, November 04, 2011

Obama gave a press conference today from the G20 meeting in Cannes (because nothing says “get used to the new age of austerity, suckers” like a bunch of world leaders partying in Cannes).

IT’S RAINING SO THERE PROBABLY WON’T BE ANY HOT TOPLESS CHICKS OUT: “we came to Cannes with no illusions.”

OBAMA DOESN’T WANT YOU TO MAKE A MISTAKE: “Make no mistake, there’s more hard work ahead and more difficult choices to make.”

THIS JUST STRUCK ME AS FUNNY: “All of us have an enormous interest in Europe’s success”.

IT INVOLVES BERLUSCONI AND THREE HOOKERS. YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW. “We also made progress here in Cannes on our rebalancing agenda.”

By the way, Berlusconi was due to release a CD of himself singing love songs this week, but decided to postpone because the timing might look bad, as opposed to everything else Berlusconi has ever done.

Asked how all this would affect his re-election prospects, Obama lied, “Jim, I have to tell you the least of my concerns at the moment is the politics of a year from now.”

NERVOUS: “And although the actions of Papandreou and the referendum issue over the last couple of days I think got a lot of people nervous...” Sadly, no follow-up question on why the Greek people’s opinion was not required.

He kept talking about the “firewall.” Greece has been downgraded from nation-state to computer virus.

WAIT, ISN’T THIS EXACTLY WHAT HE KEEPS SAYING ABOUT REPUBLICANS? “But I am confident that the key players in Europe -- the European political leadership -- understands how much of a stake they have in making sure that this crisis is resolved, that the eurozone remains intact, and I think that they are going to do what’s necessary in order to make that happen.”

I THINK YOU MEANT TO SAY “REPUBLICAN MEMBERS OF CONGRESS” RATHER THAN SIMPLY “CONGRESS.” “And as soon as I get some signal from Congress that they’re willing to take their responsibilities seriously, I think we can do more. But that’s going to require them to break out of the rigid ideological positions that they’ve been taking.” You know, calling the Republicans’ positions ideological is to give them far too much credit, implying that they’re adhering to some sort of principles.