Ezmyrelda

April 21, 2015

Reading time ~2 minutes

Generally.. I’ll be honest.. I don’t like writing a lot.. It’s hard to organize my thoughts and.. well really there’s just always too fucking many. I have a near inexhaustive supply of good ideas and an utter dearth of ways to effectively communicate them or distinguish which ones would do the most good to most people.. So I do my best to let others do the real work with illustrating societies ills..

That said.. I have a particurly good knack for blasting out irate rants.

And Goddess help you if you have personally earned my literary wrath. I will go out of my way to make sure the linguistic barbs are exceedingly salty and utterly brutal..

With that.. I’d like to bring you the first of a series of rants.. at this point in my life.. You may consider them the knuckle cracking practice required to get to topics that are actually of import.

“Hey PayPal!
I noticed your company can’t tell it’s ass from it’s elbow the majority of the time.

Did you know that more and more people are successfully NOT using banks because banks have been out to skin alive the majority of the people who are unfortunate enough to have to use them?

If I EVER had enough money where banks were crawling in front of me begging me for my business… I wouldn’t piss on them if they set themselves on fire trying to show me how much they wanted it.

I don’t have a bank account.. and if it weren’t for your shitty service.. It wouldn’t make one fucking whit of a difference..

If you’re so jazzed to buy into the banking industries sick need to slap a bank account to my credit history.. That’s your fucking problem..

Get your shit together. I don’t have a bank account, I sure as fuck don’t use checks, and last time I checked.. We were using computers to make this shit convenient..

I have a Google Wallet Card.. Go have a Bro lunch with Mastercard and sort this shit out yourselves..

Like I give two fucks..

Oh, and tell your fucking half asses in web dev to slap a javascript error on an empty comment when a carriage return is accidentally hit.. What is this? Amateur hour?”

and yes.. I actually sent them this.. They sent me some shit in email I already fucking knew.. That shit is the WORST.