Here, you will find the "demure lotus blossoms," the "geishas," the "oriental sluts" -- whatever you had imagined in your patriarchal, colonialist longings. These women will take you by storm (and will kick your ass). Yeah, you've seen mail order bride sites before, you may have even surfed over to an Asian porn site, but never in your wildest culturally commodifying sick sexual desires, have you been schooled by women (womyn) like this!

So, go ahead Mr. Smartypants. Check us out! After all, us "Orientals" are known for our hospitality and genteel demeanor. We aim to please...

"Dear Big Bad Chinese Mama, I'm learning so much about the Asian culture ever since you mailed me Janice. Did you know that it is customary for the man to cook, clean and sleep on the living room couch in Asian cultures? I am also learning that Asians appreciate silence. She tells me to shut the fuck up whenever she's around. This has been a great lesson in love and cultural understanding. Got to go she wants me to participate in traditional Asian toilet cleaning."