Jacques Chirac is the biggest pussy in France. We'll say it again: he's the biggest pussy in France!

In 2003, he put the sad, shrunken raisins that pass for his balls on the chopping block of pacifism when he refused to support The Greatest President's holy mission in Iraq. Real Americans everywhere promptly dished out fitting punishment: they bought gallons of very expensive French wine and poured it down the drain without drinking so much as a sip. Take that, mon frere!