I’m Still Scratching My Head!

And shaking it. Am I awake? I am.

I was watching the news, and the music start sup, and the lady comes on and says, “Tonight, we’ll tell you why scratch tickets aren’t the greatest stocking stuffer idea…” I’m like what the hell? What could possibly be wrong with a goddamn scratch ticket? Don’t take away another shred of harmless fun.

And the ridiculous story starts. “If you buy a child a scratch ticket, you could be gambling with their future.” Their demented stupid theory is that the kid will see a scratch ticket like some kind of paper slot machine, and want to buy more and more. Ok, first of all, if the kid is that easy to get hooked on something, s/he must be really young. If s/he is young, the kid isn’t buying the scratch tickets! You have to be 18 to play, and any store clerk with sense isn’t going to sell to 10-year-old little Jimmy.

Second, if the kid is young, s/he probably doesn’t have his/her own money. So mom and dad are buying the scratch tickets, and if the kid asks for too many, well guess who’s going into scratch ticket withdrawal? It’s as simple as that.

If the kid is old enough to pass for 18 and sees scratch tickets like slot machines, the kid probably has bigger issues, and scratch tickets won’t be starting him/her down the path to addictions. There are things like booze and drugs that’ll do that just fine.

Then they went on this bit about “it’s illegal for kids to claim their winnings.” Well duh, that’s why mom and dad will get the money and give it to the kid! My god! We are getting dumber by the minute. We’ll be zombies before my time’s up in this world!

The worst was the two news anchors actually took this story seriously and did a little sad banter back and forth about it! Come on! That’s one of those stories where you have to take the let’s move on approach, not actually stop and think about it.

Ug the news. It’s going to make me go mad. No, it’s this complete lack of common sense that’s going to make me go mad, but the fact that it’s made it to the news just shows how serious it is.

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