CAVEAT: Warning! These letters have not been edited by Carla. Expect errors.

Letter to ZB

September 27, 1989

Dear Z,

I have studied Polish a little bit and Russian quite a bit and realize that there are some letters that just do not translate very well in English. Thank you for your letter.

Your experience in your dreams is very interesting. I am not sure whether you might be plugging into a spirit attempting to discuss Christ’s second coming or it could just as easily be a fluke like getting the radio station on your fillings, which I didn’t think was possible until one day in West Virginia on the road I started hearing this. Luckily on the way back that twenty miles or so I heard it again. It really made me feel good because you do wonder if you are well, and rational and logical when things like that happen to you.

The word Emanuel in Hebrew means “he is coming. He who comes.” L, which is left out of your word, is the first signature of the Confederation of Planets in service of the Infinite Creator. You will see a lot of ls. We even call ourselves L/L Research because they talk so much about love and light.

You trained yourself to speak laws. You engineers are all alike. I had an engineer as a librarian. You can’t spell. I am glad that you are able to speak (inaudible).

The rational explanation for it would be a tough time coming. We do not have a wide enough perspective on a cosmological level as to the nature of the universe. We do not have the instrumentation to document action at a distance effect in any way. If you are receiving words in a strange language, my first impulse would be to take the tapes to the person who teaches Hebrew at the nearest seminary or send it.

This is Louisville so we’ve got the Presbyterian and Baptists out the wazoo so it is easy for me to say, right, but not maybe for you. At any rate, the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and the Presbyterian Seminary are both in Louisville and I am sure there must be many more close to you because you are in a lot more sophisticated part of this country.

Run that tape by it and see if it can pick out any words, roots of words that would be go back to the class of languages that would include Aramaic and Hebrew because that is my guess. Because you are not getting Emanuel, but getting Emanu. I think that the best prayer is simply come, come. I think you are getting some basically angelic static.

I don’t know what in your experience has opened this capacity to you at this time, and I don’t know whether it is worth doing anything about it except looking through. I would have to evaluate your situation from your point-of-view and that would be, how do you feel about this? Do you feel that this is new, and unusual and strange? Does it make you want to know more?

In that case, your subconscious is hitting you up on the head with a 2 x 4 with the mystery, trying to get your attention. It is a mystery. As Oscar Wilde once said, “All of us are rolled in garbage in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” And that is just the way it is. In this little world of ours, we have a little chicken coop, and we have a pecking order and we have to get our food. We peck, peck, peck on the ground and never look outside of our cage and thus there is no mystery.

No one generally looks outside the cage. We wonder, “There is more than this, isn’t there? I can see out of this but dimly, but I can see out of this.” I think perhaps this is the mystery. Now if that is the way it made you feel, then whatever the source you are dealing with are undoubtedly positively-oriented people because negatively-oriented discarnate beings, just like negatively-oriented alive beings in the chemical, physical flesh, have a feeling, an emotion, which is concerned in an archetypical way with the end of one age and the beginning of another.

The first New Age religion, of course, probably wasn’t even Christianity. The Essenes were there before Christians, but there it is, and the prayer, “Come, oh come, Emanuel,” needless to say is redundant in that particular hymn. If you get feelings of interest, challenge. One is to explore the mystery, wanting to connect, to engage in this mystery, this contact on whatever level, whether it is to be scientifically explained at the radio station on your tooth or whether it is to be unscientifically explained as an inner guide, or master or a wandering Galilean who is still praying for his master’s return. I just don’t know, but there would be no harm in it because that word Emanu is simply, “Come. Come, oh come, Emanuel.” That would be my guess.

If it is being shot to you for some reason by negative entities, I do not pretend to understand their motive. Subjectively, the way you would be able to tell that would be if the touching in, if the language, etc., made you afraid, or angry, or feel violated or like a laboratory animal. I am trying to think of different ways that different people’s vocabulary have of expressing a feeling of discomfort or of being taken advantage of by these visitations of one kind or another.

So within yourself, see what happens because of this happening. You obviously have begun to search somewhat for what is casually and ironically none of the truth. I am afraid the truth is not available in this message. As an engineer, you will appreciate that since we have absolutely no idea about our electricity. We just know how to manipulate it. We don’t know the secret of it. We don’t know its true energy. We have absolutely no idea why the speed of light is not relative to anything else or what in the world that means.

We really are living in a very seriously dense illusion and science would be the first to tell you that. It would tell you that what you are is basically a series of fields of energy within which certain there are certain types in atomic distances and everything, which means that you are dealing with one substance or another, but the scientific part of you knows, against reason, against the five senses. We are more than five senses because our instrumentation has a proof and we can see that this is not so. That in truth, the couch that I am sitting on at this point is an energy field or a number of them. I am not just sure how couches are made up.

We certainly are a complex of energy fields. Each organ has its own intelligence and each is necessary so that it is something within us is removed and I am talking, not by surgery, but rather in a psychological way. If that is removed from our path, then we will simply receive another stimulus to get our attention.

As to why you, who knows? I was a librarian at one time, in the days of my youth, and I just loved it. I loved kids and I was an engineering librarian, a children’s librarian, a school librarian. That was the best job I ever had because I could run my own shop. Nobody knew about the library. They hadn’t had a librarian in that school forever. I had jobs that paid me very little money, but I was extremely interested in what I was doing, extremely challenged and very much in love with what I was doing.

Then bam, into my life comes the continued listening to the meditations. I listened from 1962 to 1974 and in that year, I had already decided that I would work with Don Elkins. I resigned as a librarian in 1970 or 71. I went to work full time for L/L Research. Don just said, “Your free lunch is over. You will learn to channel.” I really was bad at it. It took me two months to get the first thing out and I do not know what informative literature you received about L/L so I don’t know if you have read any of it. However, I think perhaps it might help you to read some of the stuff that we have written.

For instance, there is an old book, but the situation hasn’t changed much. There are the guys in the white hats and the guys in the black hats, like in the movies except they are space cowboys. Don and I called it “Secrets of the UFO.” Don thought that was a catchy title. I changed my and to with. Don Elkins with Carla McCarty because it was really his life’s work.

You might find yourself aided by some of the experiences that are talked about there and certainly, if you talk to anyone who is in MUFON, that is the mutual UFO network, which I think is down in Texas somewhere now, or Flying Saucer Review, is my favorite one in England. You can begin to get the feeling not that it is normal, but that a lot of people are experiencing oddness. One thing that I feel I can say is that there is good probability that you are receiving positive prayer in a Judeo-Christian sense.

The Jews don’t know if the Christ has come the first time yet but the Christians are hoping for the second time. In either case, it would be Emanu el Christ. It is a Christ vibration.

The people on the negative path since you say you have not previously been interested in psychic phenomenon, you are very unlikely meat for service-to-self entities. Your mind is not weak and not even fearful. You would not give them the fear they feed off of. They would not be able to control you and this is the deadliest of one of a negative-orientation because negativity is all involved with separation from the others. You may see a good deal of that in your earth sciences.

Other than the fact that you are an engineer and can’t spell, you obviously are extremely literate, analytical, and questioning and this thing has got you moving. It has got you writing to such shaky sources as L/L Resource. We have a saying around here that is called “lay with it.” and that is what I would do. I would continue using the voice activated tape recorder and continue collecting anything in any language. Give them to people who are involved in the Biblical languages type because of the Emanu. It sounds so much like Emanuel and the el in UFO jargon, shop talk, is the elder race, which has been able to leave this planet for some time.

It is the way it is described in some of the channeling that I have done like taking a ninety degree l-shaped jump perpendicular to everything, which is not a visualizable occurrence, but is a concept which one makes and holds in a space.

As a scientist you must be patient when anything like this happens to you, especially obviously you are working with some sort of action that gets you upset, whether it is telepathy or what, even if happens only once. You probably will not be able to prove what is happening is real. That is against the law of free will. The people that are coming to help us do not wish to move us forward before we are ready so they speak to us as Jesus did in parables and in rather esoteric language that most people just put down. But it is superior to the Ra material and other people. Other channels have other agendas so I can’t speak for everybody.

Don’s reaction as an engineer, when we began receiving channeled messages, was simply to collect the data and that is what I would suggest that you do. Collect the data. If nothing else comes of it but that you have been awakened to the fact that there is a mystery, a great mystery of this universe, it will have probably done you one of the greatest services of your life time because your life time is alive, in which we must make many choices, but only one choice that is of (inaudible) importance. That choice is to serve others or to serve yourself; to radiate the love of the Infinite Intelligence, which is the Creator, or to attempt to absorb it or control the lives of others or manipulate them.

Apparently part of you wants to, what I call, polarize. Get off of the well of indifference and head for the (inaudible). The more polarized you get, the closer to a light you stand and the more confusing things become. All I can offer you is the intelligence that since 1962 I have heard many things, many of them stranger than this, and my observation is that in fact the true reason for these high experiences of strange encounters is it is a positively-oriented, thought-form type UFO, which is dealing with you in your dreams.

Collect the data. Face the fact that you are, indeed, speaking to someone, either from the inner planes of this planet in third density, or from a discarnate entity in a fourth, fifth or sixth density. From the fact that you are getting Emanu, Emanu again and again, suggests to me that it is probably an inner-plane person because there are many Christs. I am a Christian and I like to work with the one known as Jesus because it fits in so well with everything I learned in Sunday school. But I don’t try to take it so seriously that I can’t see that the basic function of religion is to give one a sense of awe and mystery so that when one worships, there are very few options open about the mystery.

First of all, one may ignore the mystery of who we are, where we came from. Is there a Creator that cares and if so, what is our relation to Him? Most people honestly don’t want to be awakened to that kind of thinking. It is serious skull work.

Another way you can deal with it is to deny it. Denying something for which there is an objective reference, that is, a word like God or the Creator, is not really dealing with it. It is merely saying, “I never heard of that.” And where would we be if scientists went around going, “Hey, that is a (inaudible). We are not going to look into that. I don’t know anything about that.”

Or you can square off and try to learn about the mystery, which is hopeless, because understanding, one of my favorite contacts says, “It is not the density. This is the density of choice.” The only available option then if you discount those is the option of worship. To have faith in, and trust in and abide in the sense of being in an orderly creation where large matters are worked out over large periods of time, whose scope you have not an inclination to see because of the briefness of our lifetime. It is like the second hand on a watch that you want to see.

So my guess is that your subconscious wants very much to feel the feelings of unconditional love, of worship, of passionate caring for the intangible. That part of you that (of course, you no longer carry a slide rule on your belt like Don did), so merely start to keep a journal of your dreams, the English part, the part that you can understand, and the feelings that go with what you have got on your voice activated tape recorder. Start building yourself an archive of experiential anecdotal data and wait at least five years before coming to a seriously grounded conclusion.

As I said, my snap conclusion would be that this is a positively-oriented thought-form type of inner planes entity, which moves into your vibrations in order to speak to you and pray through you when you are asleep. But it could be negative. I don’t know. I don’t know what those words mean either. So what you need to do is evaluate your emotional state and what if anything these visitations cause you to do other than just record them and put them away. That will be the most rational way of finding more out about why this is happening to you.

I have insufficient data, but I guarantee you that every human is hungry for food that you cannot see. That food is the heavenly bread, manna, of a Creator, which is one original thought, that thought being Love. It is a kindly universe, all appearances to the contrary.

The unkindness of our particular illusion is designed to cause us to make very hard choices. It is very nice to be in service-to-others to a nice person. Very easy, very pleasant. When you are being nice to someone who is being spiteful or outrageous in one way or another, then you are doing some work on polarization because then you are realizing that all of us are one, and that the Creator is equally in each of us. Thus what we are seeking, the mystery that we are seeking, is the very core of our own being just as the earth is supposed to be molten and full of heat. So also are our souls at the center to be full of that passion of the Creator’s love for us and our love for the Creator, which can be seen in a brief way through sexual orgasm, which is a steady state of energy in the universe.

So just hang in there. You are not crazy. I will be glad to work with you on any questions that you have and I do this kind of research all of the time. It is not an unusual thing that is happening to you in the context of the things that I have talked to people about. I would say that I suspect that you have some sort of beingness to manifest, is the best way that I can think of to put it. That you would manifest better were you less scientific and narrow in your thinking, and content to use equations that use C and to work with electricity even though you don’t have any idea what it is.

Trying to get out of that person is a poet, scholar, gypsy, the dying one of all times. Many other personalities, but the persona that you wish the most at this time obviously is spiritual and you truly, truly do seem to want to explore the mystery of creation. I believe that the one who is speaking is not speaking through you, but is probably is a bleed-through from a past life at the time of Jesus’ work while they were speaking that language. This is coming back to you little-by-little instead of you having been hypnotized and you are waking up, bit-by-bit.

This doesn’t mean that you have a great mission to perform for mankind. I get tremendous amounts of mail from people who are absolutely sure they have not found their path of service yet. What are they going to do? I listen to them and these are mothers of three and four children or fathers that are giving up most of their lives to feed their families. They do not consider that being of service as if channeling was better than parenting in the way of service.

You have had your eyes focused and your senses focused on that which you can measure with the senses and with the instrumentation that has been developed to extend these senses. That which is occurring to you is something out of the order. It is a metaphysical phenomenon, a paranormal phenomenon.

It doesn’t sound to me to be like a poltergeist phenomenon; in other words, just an impish mischievous kind of a fellow trying to confuse the heck out of you because nothing has been moved. You didn’t mention things being thrown about, or disappearing or reappearing in another place, which is very typical of poltergeist activity.

I really think that you are trying to tell yourself in this way that it is time to get on with deciding who you are; what you would live for; what you would die for; what you feel passionately about. If you have burned out recently, this is especially probable.

I am sorry that I can’t help you more with this, but Jim handed me this letter and said, “I don’t know what to say to the man.” That is how I get all of my correspondence. I get a lot of wonderful interesting people that way because sometimes it is just too off-the-wall for Jim. He comes from Nebraska.

I feel the sincerity of your questions and can only say that Scandinavian, Slovak and Latin groups of languages, as far as I know, do not include Hebrew or Hebrew derivatives such Emanu and that is where I would begin because I do recognize Emanuel in the Old Testament in Isaiah, one who is prophesying that the Christ will come. Paul says Emanuel in his writings, “in the name of the Lord.” I think that the Emanu would be questioning, begging, praying,

“Come, Holy Spirit.
Fill the hearts of your faithful
with the fire of your love.
Send forth your spirit that
we may be created and you
shall create the face of the earth.”

If that rings true to you, stick with it. Otherwise, I’d ignore it. It will go away after a while. Anybody who does not pick up on something like this will find it stopping and something else beginning because the object is not to get you to hear these strange sounds. The object is to awaken the sub-lobes of your mind, the lobes that contain your intuition, artistry, worship and emotion in the deep sense, in the sense below the threshold of consciousness that you stand directly on the line during your engineering day.

When you sleep, you move suddenly through the higher surface of things into some place deep in experiences unknown that is yourself. The venue is eternity; a restful, peaceful eternity with definite goals. The goal of this particular illusion, as I understand it, is to make your basic choice to be working in a positive way in service-to-others on behalf of the Creator. Or, to polarize in service-to-self by controlling, manipulating, tricking, scheming, and otherwise fiddling with people’s heads.

This is the best hint I can give you. The best context I can put it in. It is all brand new to you and I hope that it is not aggravating you. If you wish, it will go away. If you do not wish this to happen, mentally say so and challenge…let’s be practical.

Before you go to bed at night, in any case, do the following imagery.

Chakras are what Indians call energy centers throughout the body. They run up the spine and they have energies involved with them. We are in, for instance, the yellow density, that is the density of socialization. We have passed through the first density, which is the density of being rocks, water, elemental things like that put into life and intelligence. All of that

Second density is marked by the turning to the light the ability to seek the light, quite literally in most cases, and in third density, we are starting to deal with the other selves in our society. This is all orange ray stuff.

A lot of times, people will move back to orange ray stuff, turning to the light, and be pretty much crippled in the effort to investigate very far because they have that orange ray desire simply to turn to the light and not to think about it. Then you seldom have a decent idea.

I would say examine your behavior each day. Use this protection before you go to bed at night and I’ll describe it to you, but I had to explain the word chakra in case you hadn’t come cross that one.

We come here to learn and we do not come here to be happy. We come here as we would go to a Marine boot camp. This is an intense illusion. It creates within us the opportunity for laughs and desire, and it is that desire to know that leads a pilgrim on a spiritual path of seeking. People often think there are no paths of seeking available to them because they cannot buy Christianity. This is not so.

It is possible to create one’s own personal myth or, in my case, I have adapted my personal myth so that I can continue to worship that mystery in the context of being able to sing sacred music because I really love to sing sacred music. I feel that the work that I do for the church is not for their benefit, but for my own. It teaches me discipline.

The real love of life, the thing that I really love to do the most, is to work with people who are undergoing experiences and are unchurched so they don’t have the normal safety net of spiritual experience to fall back on.

I hope I have been of some small help in that way. Feel free to write me as this goes on, as questions may come up. If you like the way I think, if you like what I am saying and feel that it makes sense and has a logical approach, then perhaps you would want me to follow you with it. I do not get a sense that you are being pizzazzed or satanized or anything like that, but I do encourage the protection and that is this:

Close your eyes and visualize the Creator energy, not just the air, but the light that is invisible in the air. The density of light on this planet moves into the body through the feet and up through the first energy center, which is the red ray center located in the groin area. It is the base center.

(Side two of tape.)

(Carla explains her problems with electromagnetic instruments—and uses the eraser of a pencil instead of her finger to avoid some of the problems)…

… red ray energy is to be greatly respected even though it is veritably fixed even though it can certainly be blocked and is blocked, especially by women who have failed to claim their passion because they’re taught all their lives to say “no, no dear, not until I get my next Mercedes” or “I’m mad at you so I won’t do it” (laughs)…something like that. I’ve always wondered about my sisters, so many of them do that.

See that center as spinning and brilliant. Now if you look at it and it’s heavy and it’s a dark red (you’re visualizing this, mind you, it’s not something that you see objectively, it’s all subjective)

You simply ask it to spin more healthfully and more regularly and with greater brilliance and simply open yourself to allow that adjustment to occur.

You then move on to each chakra all the way up to the seventh. Orange, which is sort of like in the pit of the stomach, a little bit below the navel; yellow, which is right at the waist, a little bit above the waist; the green chakra, or the heart energy chakra is where one would think it would be on the spine at the level of the heart, and people who do work in consciousness and who wish to do work in consciousness need to clear out the mixed energy of red, yellow and orange, so that all the prana, all the living light that is coming from the atmosphere up through this system will reach the green energy ray center, the heart chakra, in its full strength, because to do work in consciousness, you definitely need this.

So each one you visualize, you stimulate, you rotate, you get it the way you like it, and then above your head, or just right on the crown of your head, sometimes it’s called the crown chakra, is a violet ray, and that violet ray is like a spectroscopic analysis of your vibration. It is basically your name—a statement of who you are. It is you.

Oh yeah, I forgot the indigo, the brow chakra comes right before the lavender and after the blue, and that is work in consciousness very much, and so when you are doing well in a life progression of seeking, you will have feelings in the forehead, in the area of the pineal gland—throbbings sometimes, pleasant sensations, or unpleasant, it doesn’t matter—different people experience different things.

And you take this signature of yourself, this violet ray, mentally swirling it around to mix it with the red ray which is the foundation of everything. It should be so much honored, that it is, the pornographers are doing better than anyone else, but people just don’t appreciate the strength of this red ray chakra or its importance, it is vital to life—it is the survival chakra.

So you take your name and your essence and blend the two together mentally so that you’re getting a violet red—it’s easy to imagine, perhaps cerise would be a good word, then you mentally cloaked yourself, over every inch of your body with this color. That is the protection of the body, by the body, that is protection within yourself, because inner plane entities move from within the self through the self and you need to set up boundaries as to what they are able to do through you because you do not need to live your life being aggravated.

Once you have done this, take the white light that is still living, unseen light, the prana of the creation, the source of true energy, and coat yourself with that white light, and then if you still have the strength, visualize light moving into you, making you feel the deep emotions of passion, love, agape, whatever you wish to call it. It does not mean that someone is trying to talk you into being a Christian, it just means that this was going to get your attention. I think that is what it means, I would have to see the stuff to tell whether it was negative or positive to be sure, I’ve given you ideas about how to tell the positive from the negative, and you can always order our material if you want to read about it in exhaustive and probably boring detail.

Well, as I said, if you like the way I think, if you feel that I can help you, I would be glad to communicate with you at any time. I would warn you that unlike today, Jim just handed me this as I was starting on somebody else’s letter, but I hadn’t gotten the tape dated yet so, I thought, what the heck I will get this one out of the way.

Anyway, if you like the way I get things out of the way, I’m not sweeping it into the corner or under the rug, that’s for sure. I’m four square looking at this mystery, and my choice is to worship it, but not the kind of worship that is involved in doctrine, dogma and judgment. I don’t think that those distortions of love were intended to move into the spiritual arena, I think it’s the nature of man to simply be chauvinistic about whatever he has personally concluded as the truth.

So carry on, keep notes, be implacable, engineers always are, and continue to observe, and let me know if something substantially different happens. Meanwhile, if I were you, I would give thanks to whatever entity it is that is attempting to awaken you within, because that’s the way [oft this rock?] [that’s the way oft planet earth?] is to look at things in a more and more broad view, and a more and more cosmic viewpoint, until you see what is going to still be important (pardon me for splitting an infinitive) in a hundred years or a thousand years, and is not simply of passing interest. It takes a certain type of mind, and a characteristic bent toward persistence to do this. It involves a daily practice of sitting in meditation, silent meditation, not praying for anybody but listening—I would say at least ten minutes, perhaps as long as 20, perhaps as many times a day as twice. I wouldn’t advise you to go further than that at this point in your seeking because you are obviously sensitive enough to be receiving these paranormal phenomena, but you’re unprepared to deal with it. You’ve got to move step by step in this (inaudible word) or you can get badly badly hurt.

So just continue collecting the data, read in the field although I will admit it is a tacky field and most people don’t make any sense whatsoever in it. I’m trying to think of a book you might enjoy that you would feel would speak to what is happening to you and quite honestly I’m not well-read enough to say, “oh, well, you should try this book or that book,” but in general I would say the channels that you should read are Jane Roberts, the Seth material, and whoever it was that wrote the Bartholomew channelings, I come as a brother, or something like that. Just see the different channelings and see the eschatological note in almost all of them (inaudible) is very eschatological, and get going.

Once you set your foot on the path there is no turning back, but as far as I’m concerned there is no greater joy than dwelling in the presence of the infinite one. It is truly a bliss, the kingdom of heaven on earth, and we carry that around with us and people think, “my, how radiant she looks,” or “my, how cheerful he is,” and it’s simply a matter of our consciously polarizing towards love and service of other people towards the basic concepts of the higher being as a servant or of service to the lower being. In any actual sense, in a metaphysical sense, there is nothing but complete spiritual democracy.

Within the illusions, because none of us can see our God selves, because they are obviously identical, being the Creator, we can make all kinds of judgments about ourselves, and I would strongly advise you not to do that, just carry on and observe. That this is happening to you is very exciting and an unusual occurrence and I always enjoy hearing how people get awakened.

I think that that’s what’s happening to you. Now if any of this makes sense to you, feel free to write.

This is Carla Rueckert signing off, good luck, and as I said feel free to correspond at any time if you feel I have anything to say to you. And always remember please that anything I’ve said on this tape is opinion gained through years of observation, nevertheless, it’s opinion, and if it’s not your truth, then just leave it alone.

So bye bye for now, the Mystery Bless. I was going to say God Bless, but naaah, engineers don’t like that word, but the mystery; now that is something one can understand because people are always curious about mysteries and we have some existential lulus of questions (laughter) so keep questioning, seeking, meditate daily, keep a journal, and see what happens to you. Observe and keep a record. That would be my suggestion to you at this time. Gathering data over a period of time is about the only way you can come to conclusions about what is happening to you.

Now there are groups like Whitley Strieber’s group, I think they’re called Communion Groups, for people who have been distressed by UFO experiences. I wouldn’t recommend that you go to them. You’re not distressed, you have not had a close encounter of the third kind unless you’ve lost some time you’re not telling me about—you simply have been reminded rather insistently it would seem, that it’s time for you to get on with what you came here to do. It’s time to stop grabbing all the gusto you can because you only go around once—it’s time to let loose of that truth and to embrace the truth that you are an imperishable being—a being that has set his face towards the source and (inaudible) and wishes steadfastly and persistently and without hysteria to know the truth about himself and the mystery.