So who's the daddy?

AMY DICKINSON ASK AMY

March 25, 2008|AMY DICKINSON

Dear Amy: Around 2 1/2 years ago, our son, who is now 40, had a live-in girlfriend. They announced she was pregnant. In about her sixth month she moved out and went to live with another boyfriend. My son discovered she had lots of boyfriends.

She eventually gave birth to a baby girl. She did not name anyone on the birth certificate as the father, although she says our son is. She refuses to have a DNA test, even though my son has requested one. She is not pressing him for support. This is her third child with three different fathers.

We have seen the baby twice since she was born, once at about 3 months and once at 18 months. She looks nothing like our family.

The mother offered us the child for a few days so we can "bond." We think she has ulterior motives. - Maybe Grandparents

Dear Maybe: I'm skeptical of this mom's intent because I find it hard to believe that an attentive, concerned mother would drop off a toddler for a few days with people who are essentially strangers - whether or not you turn out to be related.

It would be as easy to bond with a child who doesn't share your DNA as it would be with one who does, but because of the mother's behavior, you should be wary of her behavior now and insist on a paternity test.

You could say, "We'd love to bond with our grandchild, but first we need to make sure she is our grandchild. We're going to have to ask you for proof of paternity."

Dear Amy: My husband is extremely attractive and looks like a famous actor. No, it's not George Clooney.

Every day at least one woman (or man) says, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like...?"

For 30 years, I've teased him that he's my million-dollar diamond and that all the women want to steal him. He laughs, and it gets us through. - Not Julia Roberts

Dear Not Julia: For women of my generation, all handsome men seem to be either "Sam Shepard types" or "Ed Harris types."