Seeing as those two problems seem to have wrapped up, I guess it is time for some other absurd incidents to go down. As they always say, history repeats itself, and sure enough, we have yet another serial groper running wild around the BYU campus. His desire to touch the booty has become so brazen, that campus police have sent out mass emails warning joggers of the creep.

The suspect has so far targeted three women. The first incident was a simple groping case.

“Female was jogging, felt someone groping her, turned and saw a male right next to her,” said Dupaix. “Male ended up taking off running and she chased after him for a little ways … the male jumped a fence and ended up getting away.”

During the second attack, he decided to up it a level and flat out pull his dick out, which, for those of you that are unaware, is a very ill-advised decision if the woman is not interested in seeing it.

“The male started walking up behind her. She turned around and asked, ‘Are you following me?’ and he said ‘no.’ She crossed the street and when she looked back the male was exposing himself to her.”

Finally, he returned to his roots with yet another groping case later in the same day.

“She was jogging down the road, male ended up coming up behind her grabbed her in the crotch area and ended up running off,” said Dupaix. “We are worried about him extending his cravings to even more than just exposing and groping. We don’t know how far he will go.”

One BYU student, Molly Cochrane, when asked for a comment, gave one of the most white girl answers I’ve ever seen grace a news report.

“It’s gutsy that’s for sure. Like, he thinks he must know what he’s doing or not have a care in the world,” said Molly Cochrane, a BYU coed who likes to jog. “I honestly don’t feel too concerned. I took a self-defense class at BYU and I feel like I’m generally aware of my surroundings.”

Well said, Molly.

If anyone knows anything that could help the five-oh capture this nut, call the BYU Police Department. I’d like 10% of your reward..