Becki Ellsmore has never cooed over babies in the way she’s seen her friends do. And while she says she’ll never say never to having a family, it’s not been a priority.

Yet the 35-year-old has not one, but two biological children – of around four and five – who she has never met.

She was compensated £750 each time for donating her eggs, but with trips back and forth from her home town in Oxford to the clinic in London during the two-week process, the money is hardly a motivating factor.

What has been, is the feeling quite warm and fuzzy inside from knowing she’s helped strangers achieve their dream of having a family.

“It was turning 30 that made me think I should do something that has some kind of impact,” she said. “It feels good to know I’ve made such a difference to the lives someone who desperately wants children.”

Becki Ellsmore says she hasn’t decided if she wants her own family (Photo: Becki Ellsmore)

Rising demand for egg donors

In recent years, the headlines have shouted that an egg donor shortage in UK is dashing couples’ dreams of having children or forcing them to go abroad for treatment.

But the latest figures reveal the number of women using donated eggs has risen sharply compared to 10 years ago. The number of women donating their eggs is also on the increase as is the demand for same sex couples, single and older women to use them.

Becki, a project co-ordinator, said she was not deterred by the possibility that one day her biological son or daughter may come knocking on her door.

My mum thought it was weird. Then she came round to thinking it was a wonderful thing

“It was be overwhelming, that’s true. But it would be really intriguing, to see if they look or behave like me. I’d be kind of disappointed if it didn’t happen.”

The donated eggs are fertilised with your partner’s sperm (or with donor sperm) via IVF, and then treatment follows a typical embryo replacement cycle. The best resulting embryo is transferred into your uterus to grow as in a natural pregnancy (Photo: Pixabay)

She says the reaction from her friends and family has been mixed but, overall, is very positive.

“My mum thought it was weird, but then she told me about how she and my dad struggled to conceive me, her first born and they feared they may not have a child.

“Then she came round to thinking it was a wonderful thing. My dad was just really interested in the science of it.”

Shortly after she made her second egg donation, she met her current partner who she has been with for two-and-a-half years.

“He found it hard to get his head round at first,” she explained. “But he appreciates it was something I wanted to do to be kind.

“If I do end up having children of my own I would have to sit them down at some point and explain that they have half siblings. There could end up being more of my children out there – I donated 12 and then 40 plus of my eggs – if couples have frozen embryos from them they will use.”

It’s a small price to pay

The therapist goes through it all with you to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons

Becki opted to donate at The Lister Fertility Clinic in Chelsea, which is part of HCA Healthcare UK, because she felt they offered thorough counselling services.

“The therapist goes through it all with you to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons,” she said. “They really care that you are comfortable with the idea that the child as an adult could get in touch. They made it clear I could have as much counselling as I needed.”

Becki felt the The Lister Fertility Clinic in Chelsea offered good counselling support (Photo: The Lister Fertility Clinic)

From sign up to donation took around three months. During the screening process the clinic checked Becki’s medical history and that of her wider family. Becki also had to supply a photograph of herself alongside personal information about her personality, likes, dislikes, hobbies and career achievements.

The clinic treats this information confidentially and uses it so they can match Becki with the right recipient.

The egg donation process involved a series of consultations, scans, and injections before the egg collection takes place – a procedure which is carried out under general anaesthetic. The retrieval is carried out using a needle, guided by ultrasound through the vagina. The procedure lasts about 20 minutes

Following this, at age 31, Becki made her first donation which resulted in a successful live birth. The next year, she decided to donate again, with a second child born as the result.

“I had a small amount of spotting but recovery was really quick,” she said. “It felt like a small price to pay to know I’ve done something good.”

Dr James Nicopoullos, consultant gynaecologist at The Lister Fertility clinic, says: “By donating her eggs, Becki has brought joy to two very deserving and grateful families. The Lister Fertility Clinic is celebrating its 30th birthday this September and to date we’ve helped more than 17,600 babies to be born. Many of these pregnancies would not have happened without the generosity of egg donors like Becki.”

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