In recognition of National Poetry Month we've partnered with Fulton County Arts & Culture South Fulton Arts Center to present "Lyrical Therapy" - A Poetry Presentation.

We'd like to invite you out to participate in this wonderful event. It will be a night filled with Spoken Word, Poetry Readings, and Lyrical Movement.

If you've been waiting for an opportunity to present your own pieces before a live audience... wait no more!There will be an Open Mic Session! Space is limited so visit Eventbrite today to order your tickets! ​https://www.eventbrite.com/e/lyrical-therapy-tickets-21990141104

The song “Happy” which was written, produced, and performed by Pharrell Williams was a #1 song for much of 2014. Infectious, with a catchy tune and positive lyrics, the song made many people pat their feet and clap along without really thinking about it. It just happened automatically…and what a great example of what living free looks like and feels like! But there was another population of people who wouldn’t or couldn’t buy into the happy-parade being led by men, women and children around the world. Some people were just stuck in the twists and turns of a hard, defeated life and were unable to “feel the happiness” and were wondering how to get there.

Many people live in a constant state of war between the person they want to be and the person they have defined themselves to be based on past experiences, the inability to forgive, and the opinion of others. We are taught as young children to care about the opinion of others and when we don’t live up to expectations (self-imposed or otherwise), we feel that we have failed. We allow this failure to derail us from our road to becoming positive, happy people. We exist under ever-present scrutiny, sometimes making us feel that we are not good enough nor will we ever be. Having a negative opinion of oneself can result in the assumption that everyone shares that same opinion. So we begin to mirror that view although it is not our true self. We walk through life never able to see ourselves as the strong and successful people that we are. If we can consciously decide that we will no longer be directed by the opinion of others, we can move towards a happier more fulfilled life.

Happiness is not always automatic. Sometimes we have to be taught how to be happy and then to make a conscious effort to achieve it. Some things that we can do to move in the direction of happiness are:

Surround ourselves with happy people.

Devalue our failures and concentrate on our success.

Appreciate what we have.

Live in the “Now”.

As we begin our journey into 2015, we must no longer allow negative people and negative situations to define how we feel about ourselves and how we measure our success. There is no one specific situation or “thing” that defines who we are. We can truly write our own story and be who we want to be. It may require that we make some changes or shift our thinking. Or we may just have to forgive ourselves for not living up to our own expectations and learn to see the good that lies within.

We must STOP allowing what people say about us, or what people do to us to make us feel a certain way about ourselves. Let’s become our own cheerleaders…cheer for ourselves so loudly that it drowns out the noise of the negative talk and thoughts of the people around us. We have to DROP all the negativity…self doubt…insecurity…self-hatred…and unforgiveness, and learn to ROLL with the punches and move on. We’ve got to toughen our skin and not be so easily diverted from our position of growth and personal fulfillment.

So when you find yourself stressing about bad choices and mistakes of the past, remember to STOP…DROP …and ROLL. You’ll be better for it.

Recently, Iyanla Vanzant did a series of shows featuring a man named Jay who fathered 34 children by 17 different women. As a single mom, I felt a number of emotions while watching the show. I experienced feelings of disgust, outrage, sadness, sympathy, and eventually understanding. What I came to understand was that Jay’s issues were way deeper than he even anticipated. His desire to be loved caused him to seek that love in all of the wrong places and make many terrible decisions along the way.As the shows progressed, Iyanla made a point to speak to the women. She wanted to assess their state of mind. She wanted to get to the root of their issues. She wanted to understand how these women could allow themselves to get involved with a man who had so many children prior to meeting them. She wanted to understand how one man was able to romance his way into their hearts and disrupt all of their lives.

On the “reunion” episode with the mothers of Jay’s children, Iyanla made a very powerful statement to them as well as the other women in the audience. She said, “You are NOT a victim and you have NOT been victimized.”WOW!! What a powerful statement? How many of us have been living our lives as victims of our circumstances? How many of us feel victimized by our family and friends? How many of us are guilty of expressing victim type thoughts (i.e. He left me to raise these kids by myself; He left me for my best friend; Everybody hates me, etc)? All of these statements allow us to play the role of victim in our lives. They allow us to wallow in self-pity and are often used to get people to empathize with us. Iyanla’s statement cut me to the core. It really made me sit down and think. Have I been living my life as a victim and not a victor? My faith teaches me that Jesus has overcome the world and in Him I am victorious. Although I know this to be true, I really had to look deep within myself to find the answer to this question. It made me consider whether or not I was actually living up to my faith. It made me question if I really believed what I said I believed. How can one statement be so profound that it can cause me to look at my life in such a different perspective? It was literally eye-opening.I will admit that I have been guilty of making such statements. I have even played the victim a time or two. However, what I have learned is that I had to let go of that type of thinking and replace it with something more positive. I also learned that I have to take responsibility for the role I played in the things that have happened to me. I have come to realize that everything that I have been through in my life is designed to teach me a lesson and to lead me closer to my purpose. Most importantly, I have to start speaking and living like a victorious person.What would happen if you stopped looking at your life through the eyes of a victim? What would happen if you chose to speak life over yourself and your situation? What would it take for you to start living a victorious life? Remember, your life is your testimony so live it victoriously!!!

The Journey of “From Pain 2 Poetry” began almost 2 years ago with the 2nd of 4 Volumes having been recently released. From Pain 2 Poetry: Taking Off the Mask, Vol. 2 is very different from the first as it seeks to bring light to a woman’s need to deal with her own issues, many of which are self-imposed. In this volume, Dawn-Charmel brings to light the unthinkable notion that a woman could allow her daughter’s “treasure” to be stolen in an effort to please her significant other in her poem, “Stolen Treasure.” Cassandra delves into the fascination of the black woman’s hips, lips, breasts, and thighs with her poem, “I am Sarah Baartman.” Sarah Baartman was put on display for the entire world to see and treated as if she was a side show. Cassandra notes that today’s young women treat themselves as side shows by putting their bodies on display for the entire world to see. Yes, some women have done and continue to do the unthinkable, but triumph awaits as you continue to turn the pages. Tonya encourages each and every woman reading this book to “Rise Up” as she boldly declares that women are resilient and can rise above anything. Last, but not least, Martha seeks to encourage women to love themselves with her poem “I Love Me.” Martha explains that her love for herself is so deep that it can’t be touched and notes that other women ought to learn to love themselves the same. God created them in His image; therefore, they should not deny themselves of one of the greatest gifts ever given, “love.”

Pick up your copy TODAY!

]]>Fri, 17 Oct 2014 14:43:19 GMThttp://www.thebagladyspeaks.com/blog/do-you-know-what-today-isBy: Dawn-CharmelPink is a pretty color. It’s a soft color that represents femininity and a sign of hope. But the color pink is not so pretty in the month of October when the world is wearing it for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Over the years, the color pink and the pink ribbon have come to symbolize breast cancer awareness. But I imagine for those people who are still fighting the deadly disease, or for those who have lost a love one to breast cancer, the color pink in October may be like a black cloud over their heads. Or it may be a constant reminder that they were not lucky enough to be the survivor who wears the pink ribbon as a badge of honor.

One in eight women will be﻿diagnosed﻿ with breast cancer in their lifetime.

Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in women.

Breast cancer is the second leading cause of death among women.

Each year it is estimated that over 220,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with breast cancer and more than 40,000 will die.

Although ﻿breast cancer in men﻿ is rare, an estimated 2,150 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and approximately 410 will die each year

While most people are aware of breast cancer, many of us still do not do what we need to in order to detect the disease early. And early detection increases the chance of survival. We must perform regular breast self-examinations and become familiar with the risks and symptoms of the disease. We must get our annual mammograms. It is recommended that all women over the age of 40 get annual mammograms (unless otherwise stated by your doctor).Do you know what today is? Today is National Mammography Day! For over 20 years, the third Friday in October has been designated as National Mammography Day. So throughout the day today and the remainder of the month of October, every time you see the color pink; remind a female in your life, remind the ladies at the grocery store, the daycare provider, and the ladies at your job not to forget to have their annual mammogram. You could save a life…if even just one. Schedule your mammogram today!(Check your local area for organizations offering free mammograms today and during the month of October)

As she turns the chapters in the book she calls her life, she sees a dark past and a future that looks grim. The pages in the front of the book represent her past. They are dirty and torn because SHE finds herself reading & reliving the events listed there over and over again. The more SHE reads them and relives them her future begins to look darker and darker and for some reason SHE can’t get past her pain long enough to realize that the pages near the end of the book that represent her future are actually blank. After years and years of reading the first six chapters over and over again, SHE finally asked herself, “Can someone help me fix my broken life?”

We can go through life comparing our individual lives to different people and to different things. We secretly live in guilt and shame because of the things that we’ve done or been through. We swim in that guilt & shame, even though it hurts us to do so. Why? Why do we keep reliving our past hurts & pains if they only continue to cause us more hurt and pain? This is a question I do not have the answer to because I believe everyone has their own reasons for not letting these things go. I believe that some of us do not understand how holding on to negative experiences immobilize us. Maybe some just feel powerless not realizing that they can regain their power by letting go. As long as we live in a state of un-forgiveness we give others (the offender) power over us. In the beginning, I spoke of blank pages at the end of the book. The pages are not blank because her future is uncertain, they are blank because as soon as she places herself in the position to move beyond her past she can begin again. She can write a new story and prophetically dictate how her story will end. The wonderful thing about life is that we are often presented with opportunities to begin again. Every 24 hours presents a new day; at the end of the 7th day a new week is presented and so on. Not only have we entered a new year, we’ve just begun a new season. Stop reading the old chapters of your life over and over again and learn how to begin again!***From TBLE Newletter

]]>Wed, 15 Oct 2014 14:39:50 GMThttp://www.thebagladyspeaks.com/blog/give-a-voice-to-the-abused-and-silence-the-abusersBy Cassandra R. McKibben October brings in the crisp and cool, autumn mornings, the smell of pumpkin spice, and the color pink in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness. But did you know October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month? Domestic Violence is a problem that plagues many homes across America. The awareness puts a face to domestic violence and gives a voice to its silent victims. Where does the violence begin? Who are the victims? How can you help end this problem that may be right, next door or even in your own home? As women we must protect ourselves from violent and unsafe environments, and also our children, if any are involved. We also have to learn to make right choices when choosing our partners, boyfriends and husbands.

Many factors attribute to why some women find themselves in violent situations:

1)Low Self Esteem may cause some women to become involved in violent relationships. Feelings of unworthiness, and not loving themselves can result into dependency on their partner or spouse.

2) Financial Stability and Security plays a part in staying in situations that we should not. Some women tend to feel that they have nowhere to go or cannot afford to be on their own.

3) Patterns and “Generational Curses” are common explanations as to why some women stay in relationships that are violent. These women may have seen abuse in the home growing up and equates the act of violence with “love”. These women tend to continue choosing men patterned after the men they grew up seeing and think the treatment they receive is natural.

4) Fearis a tactic that the abuser uses to keep women in these relationships. They threaten their lives and sometimes the lives of their children and family.

5) Thinking they can change their abuser is hauntingly another reason that women stay. Not only do they love their partner but think that one day they may change or influence them to change.

What can you do if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship?

Get Out– contact your local Domestic Violence advocacy hotline. They will be able to direct you a local shelter or assist in you removing yourself and your children from the home.

Reach Out– tell someone, whether it’s a friend or family member. Don’t be afraid to reach out. It will begin the process of seeking help and getting out of the relationship.

Seek Help – after removing yourself from the unsafe environment, receive some form of help via counseling or therapy. Counseling can help you emotionally deal with the abuse and could help prevent in you making bad choices in the future.

Help bring awareness to Domestic Violence. Give a voice to the abused and silence the abusers.

I recently left home after what I considered to be a vicious hail storm. I tried to be as cautious as possible because it’s not uncommon to see debris on the roads after storms. As I pulled out of my subdivision, I looked for a tree that had been leaning because after all the wind from the storm I was sure that it would fall but it didn’t. On my way home I took the very same path. I didn’t feel the need to be as cautious because previously the roads were very clear. As I approached a certain point on the journey home, I noticed that I could no longer see clearly down the road. I wasn’t sure exactly why I couldn’t see so for a brief moment I speculated; It’s dark outside, or maybe I’m approaching a hill and just can’t see over to the other side. I began to slow down and then I hit the brakes. There was a huge tree blocking the entire street. It had fallen after the storm.

There are many of us who experience storms in our lives and for some reason seeing that tree reminded me that while many of us survive the storms, some of us fall shortly thereafter. I’m sure there are hundreds of reasons as to why trees fall after the storm. Some trees are deeply rooted while others are not, age may have been a factor, it could have been rotten, it could have broken in various places, it may have been exhausted from fierce winds and given up, or it may have simply been it’s time to fall. There is, however, one thing I know for sure, the tree is not capable of picking itself up, dusting itself off, repositioning itself and or standing after it falls.

We are resilient! We can experience various storms and bounce back but in order to do so we must practice self-care. We must learn the importance of taking care of our mind, body and spirit. All three are vital to our ability to withstand storms and our ability to continue to stand after they’ve passed. After we’ve survived a storm, we should ask ourselves some very serious questions; the questions that the trees can’t ask themselves: How deeply am I rooted? Am I broken in various places? Am I capable of withstanding another storm?

As I approached my subdivision, I noticed the tree that I thought should have fallen was still standing. I also noticed that there were other trees surrounding it helping it to stand. Always be mindful of the need to practice self-care. Doing so will help us withstand the storms of life. Surround yourselves with other women who are strong and are willing to help you stand. Storms will come as they always do so make sure that you prepare yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually to not just withstand but to continue to stand after the storm!

Please take time to consider the following:

What helps you get through the storms of life?

How do you weather the storms?

How do you feel after the storm has passed?

Always make preparations to that will allow you to stand long after the storm has passed. MMB