“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” - Maya Angelou, I know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

#4

I remember it was cold. I got to go home a few days after being in the hospital. It's honestly like being a ware-wolf. they may as well just make a movie out of my condition. CNN is after me, national geographic magazine, everyone. I feel like I'll have to leave the country so no one knows where I am. there's no escape of whatever the hell has happened to me. it happens every night at midnight. I don't leave my apartment anymore. I order all my groceries from the internet, I don't even sleep. I can't sleep. I should call my parents. Wait no I shouldn't. I don't don't even know what I would tell them. I could just kill myself and get it over with. no more pain. no more of the blood being drawn from my skin every time the feathers start coming out. The piercing agony. It's like dying every twenty-four hours. I haven't talked to anyone in weeks. I keep my door shut and the lights off. oh god. I'm never going to have babies and get married. No one will ever be able to love me. after the changing happens after midnight I pace around my apartment. I'm unable to talk or yell for help. It's just a matter of getting used to and there's nothing I can do about it. I wonder if this will persist forever.

at least I have Anita. She's the best. Rollin' makes me scared. when its the middle of the night and we are all chickens together, she gats to talk, but Anita and I don't. That bitch. she will pay. I need to go back to tha garden to find that Russian woman. I knew there was something up with her the moment I met her. Me and anita are pretty much best friends. We have a plan to destroy Rollin'. I've come to realize so much after becoming a chicken.