RoSl
Every night the defunct Ponyville clocktower tolls once. Every night many ponies disappear, only to return the next day. Twilight disguises herself to investigate, uncovering a secret society that aims to...create a utopia for kinky sex? ·Manifest Harmony

AlHuRo
Few men even considered the possibility of ponies existing, and yet, across the gulf of space, a mind immeasurably cuter than ours regarded this brony with desiring eyes, and slowly, and surely, drew its plans to meet him. ·Aurora

EDIT: Now that I've actually finished reading the chapter I must congratulate you on your characterization and the believability of your story. I would also like to congratulate you on your very original idea for portraying a clopfic. The use of the memory spell was inspired.

You actually took your time and developed the characters enough so that when the sex did happen, it felt like the sort of thing Twi and Soarin would do. And in my opinion that's better than what any "short and snappy" fic can offer.

Well, I just imagined that a more talented author might achieve the same effect in half the words.. But it was my goal to set things up to make both the pairing and the sex credible, so as to not ask too much of readers' suspension of disbelief..

Oh, it is, it totally is. I just thought that it was funny that the one episode where the show could potentially, realistically even come close to not passing the Bechdel Test, there was pretty much no boytalk at all.

Even though this is a clopfic,(I don't read clop often) I enjoyed reading this story. I liked how you told the story and how you built up to the actual clop, It wasn't just "and then they bucked." Though i wonder who is the "mysterious interloper?" I just naturally though spike... well you deserve a like and a moustache.

(Honest answer: in an earlier, rough draft I hadn't quite decided on the male that was to be Twilight's pen pal. I was considering an OC Wonderbolt named Corsair, but decided against it once I realized Soarin' was.. perfect!)

This was the most adorkable, most detailed and most best clop fic i´ve ever read here!

Seriously, i learned like 30 new words thanks to your fic.

And it was funny and romantic too and so cute~

A bit sad that nothing deeper could bloom between Twi and Soarin, but well that´s how life goes. Both were ponies working for their dreams anyway, so it probably wouldn´t have worked out to well if they had stayed together. Loved AJ/Rarity´s reactions and comments to all this.

And younger Twi was totally a looker (for stallions ofc, man that Soarin sure was lucky xD) how detailed you described her.

Hope to read more like those from you. :3

One more thing though:

This needs to become a comic/doujin! 20-30 pages of this sweet chapter drew in nice art, with colors and stuff. I bet, it would become quite popular.^^

So.. the good news is, you learned 30 new words. The bad news is, all of them were new and innovative ways to say 'penis'? But, no, seriously.. thanks so much for all the praise. Don't really know what else to say.. <3

Oh, and about your comic idea: dude, that would be freaking awesome, and I'd totally die at the sight of even the tiniest doodle of any scene I've ever written, but who'd seriously want to go through all that trouble? I'd have to bribe them so hard. (Probably sleep with them, too.) And I don't have that kind of cash available. (Plenty of sleep, though!)

I swear, it´d be a GREAT comic/doujin. The two doujins i found about Twi are well....

There´s lots of good art about all of them, but try to find a comic which has the style of your fic. That´s impossibooru.

And i think only one of those 30 words was a new on about penis.

Maybe we can do a kickstart project: Donate for porn or something.

Well, maybe it should be rather written Donoate for an artistic project to visualize a fanfiction. We need 100 dollar so that artist X draws 20 pages. 150 for colors and for 250 we get a flash of Twi and Soarin.

I don't think I'd get much money raised beyond the 5 bucks donated by my mom, to be honest.. ("It's for cute ponies who need help!") But, even if only to sate my curiosity, if anyone knows of an artist who is willing and able to undertake such a project, feel free to point me in their general direction. At the very least, I could see about getting some illustrations done.

A lot of people seemed to be under the impression that this was a one-shot, really. I guess it's the norm to such an extent that people generally do not expect anything more than that.

So to all you hopelessly romantic clop-aficionados out there, who actually cared* and were dismayed by the slightly cynical ending to the first chapter, I want to say: it's okay. You can still root for a happier resolution.

At first I felt a little bit put off by the, shall we say, cruder language of the recollection, but eventually it ended up adding to the atmosphere and setting of the recollection.

I have to say that it was very well done, and once I did get over my initial unease, I did find the actual steamy part quite enjoyable. And seeing Twilight as quite the minx, well, it's one of my fetishes (I guess?) to see the attractive female bookworm let her hair down, so that's an added bonus for me, and a bonus point for you.

You deserve my track, my upvote, my fave and this:

I very much look forward to the next chapter. Take as much time as you need. I prefer quality over quantity.

And if you somehow manage to find an artist, just lemme know. I'll have my wallet ready.

The reason this fic went unpublished for a long time is because I had a really hard time deciding what type of "vocabulary" to use for the saucy bits. Opinions on that differ wildly, even within this particular fandom. I could have just gone with purely suggestive language - that's what a lot of people go for, really - but I wanted to write a story that was genuinely cloppy / smutty (ie. intended to arouse readers, albeit without the use of certain choice words for genitalia) as well as romantic and somewhat creative.

You may have noticed that I purposefully spiced up the language and explicitness gradually as the story and clopscene progressed. Sort of.. letting my writing style reflect the level of arousal of the characters (and hopefully the reader, haha), until it got to about the most "vulgar" type of language I was comfortable writing, myself.

But it really is impossible to please everybody in this regard, even if you steer clear of fetishes and stick to mostly vanilla stuff. The language one person finds hot, someone else finds deeply uncomfortable, or actually silly. It's deeply personal, as well as situational (just try talking dirty to someone who isn't already turned on, for example).

But the ratio of positive / negative reactions has been generally favorable, so for now I think I'm just going to continue on in the same vein, language-wise, and hope for the best.

If anyone has tips or suggestions to make the experience more enjoyable overall, though, by all means, let me know! I'm still learning.

Oh, I know full well what you mean, and you ultimately went for the proper tactic: writing how you normally write. I agree with you in that it's impossible to please everypony, so instead, you pander to the first and foremost reader: yourself.