My computers teacher has really bad mood swings. This is like, a portion of a lesson with her,

"Okay now everyone can you open up your L drives and open your computer assignments that I have put in there ... Is everyone ready?"
"Miss, my computer is running slow"
"Oh... let me have a look... hmm, thats funny Emily, it shouldnt be doing that, move to that computer over there"
"Now while we wait for Emily to start up i'll talk you guys through the assignment ... EMILY HURRY UP AND TURN ON THE COMPUTER, DONT ADJUST YOUR CHAIR, FOR GODS SAKE YOURE HOLDING UP THE ENTIRE CLASS, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? IS IT?"
"*assignment bla bla bla* Emily, youre up! Fantastic, that computer is working much better, i'll talk to the I.T tech about the other one, lets hope he can do soemthing about it"

She flips from being angry to nice within seconds. Theres no in-between. Also she keeps calling me Maria and sometimes when I correct her she apologises, other times she gets angry at me and tells me that it dosent matter. Its normal to correct people who keep getting your name wrong isnt it?

Okay well you know those clips that look like this: Hair Grip
Well I was wearing one the other day and loads of other people were wearing them too and suddenly my headmistress just said. 'Oh Heather the other day I bumped into that clip and it hurt a lot so please could you find something softer?' and I was just thinking WTF?!

I have a really weird teacher; Mr. R. He gives everybody really weird names like he calls a girl Shelly "smelly" and he mixes up people names so that Noah Green would be Goah Nreen. He also calls a few kids buttugly(as in one word). He also breaks out into songs at random intrevals. Sometimes he prankcalls other teachers too.

Okay well you know those clips that look like this: Hair Grip
Well I was wearing one the other day and loads of other people were wearing them too and suddenly my headmistress just said. 'Oh Heather the other day I bumped into that clip and it hurt a lot so please could you find something softer?' and I was just thinking WTF?!

I haven't had that many weird teachers, but I've had loads of weird subs.

When I was in 10th grade, we had this sub in SAT Prep who ate a whole tub of Country Crock margarine in front of the class! She opened it up, got a spoon and dug in right there. I can't eat margarine anymore because of that DX

That same year, I had a sub in German who was really loud mouthed. It was work time and I was done, so I was reading a manga [ Genshiken, volume 3, I think. I know for sure it was Genshiken though] and he comes up behind me and goes "OH HAY LOOK AT THE QUASI-JAPANESE GIRL READING A MANGA!!!!!!!!" and then he took it out of my hands and threw it against the door. Luckily, it didn't get damaged, because if it had, I would have verbally pwned his loud mouth butt, since I borrowed it from a good friend at the time. >.>

My teacher in fifth grade was just mean, but that was because she was preggo. She really didn't like me for some reason though. She always targetted me and this one boy specifically when she ranted at the class and always sent me into the hallway ;o;!

My sixth grade teacher [where I went to sixth grade in Montana, sixth grade was still considered elementary. We had recess and everything. It was quite epic.] was a hunter and during deer unting season, he brought us the internal organs of the deer he killed. We saw eyeballs, trachea,hearts, livers, brains, stomachs, and some other stuff. It was nutty. He was also deaf in one ear and had one blue eye and one brown eye. He was a good teacher though, and even though I got in a load of fights, he still stuck up for me a lot of the time.

I also had a sub in seventh grade sewing who brought a crapload of InuYasha manga and read it during class while twenty seventh graders were released unto sewing machines to do their own will. It's really lucky that no one got hurt that day because we were really horrible >.>;

Also in seventh grade, I had a pedobear teacher who took pictures of us "for attendance purposes" and had all of the pictures he ever took of all his classes saved onto his computer and when one kid accidently clicked the wrong thing, he found a lot of pron with the heads of the pron stars cut out and replaced with the faces of the girls in our class! Luckily there wasn't one of me DX He got arrested and fired. It was insane. That same teacher hit me for not working in the student store because my math teacher was tutoring me during lunch and I really liked my math teacher a lot more than his creepy butt.

Also in seventh grade, I had a pedobear teacher who took pictures of us "for attendance purposes" and had all of the pictures he ever took of all his classes saved onto his computer and when one kid accidently clicked the wrong thing, he found a lot of pron with the heads of the pron stars cut out and replaced with the faces of the girls in our class! Luckily there wasn't one of me DX He got arrested and fired. It was insane. That same teacher hit me for not working in the student store because my math teacher was tutoring me during lunch and I really liked my math teacher a lot more than his creepy butt.

oh my god...i think that's BEYOND weird, way way beyond lol.
I suppose my weirdest teacher would be my english teacher. She talks in this slow drawling voice like she's always stoned, and she could pass for a guy. She NEVER pays attention to us in class. This one time, a kid put a desk on top of a table and sat in it and everyone was laughing and screaming and running around. She doesn't even notice. For one class, she didn't even show up. She constantly leaves the classroom for smoke breaks. Everyone knows she smokes because sometimes if you look out the window you can see her in the back having a smoke with the janitor O.o
She's totally oblivious to her classroom. I always leave the room to get a drink without asking, and when i come back in, she looks straight at me and doesn't say anything. I can misbehave so much in that class, and still get an 80.

She talks in this slow drawling voice like she's always stoned, and she could pass for a guy. She NEVER pays attention to us in class.
Sounds like my english teacher, lol. xD One time at the beginning of Gr.7, about 3 weeks in, she stopped me and my friend in the hallway on our way out for recess from gym to tell us we were harassing substitute teachers? We hadn't even had any yet! She just had no one else to harass up there so she chose us.
And one time at lunch in her classroom, (we had to switch over for lunch, dunno why) she came over to me and three of my friends and started yelling/screaming at us about being nice to people? We didn't even do or say anything, we were just eating our lunch.
If any girl wears "short shorts" or shorts to the middle of your leg or higher, she will yank you aside and yell at you, tell you to change (either call your parents or wear school gym shorts >,<) and basically call you a sk'ank, like she did to this one girl last year. If she warns you three times, you get expelled for 3 days.

My school is full of weird teachers. And I love it. But one is the weirdest.
My German teacher is actually from Germany and he is so crazy.
He has this plastic spoon that he drew a face on and he hits people with it (not hard, but playfully). And he talks about Lady GaGa a lot and lets the guys watch videos of her because they think she's hot.
Oh, and every day he eats an orange and he peels it with his car keys.
Yesterday he sang me a song by The Jackson 5. It made my day.
And there's this kid, Allen, but he can't say it right. He calls him Ellen. xD

"Come with us now on a journey through time and space,
To the world of imagination..."

I stare at the girl in the mirror: T-shirt, torn up jeans, no beauty queen.
But the way that you see me, you get underneath me, and all my defenses just fall away, fall away.
I am beautiful with you, even in the darkest part of me. I am beautiful with you;
Make it feel the way it's supposed to be!

You're here with me: Just show me this and I'll believe I am beautiful with you!