Catching Up With Rubicon

I know you’re disappointed in me, you don’t have to give me that look.

You might have noticed that I went off the grid for about a month there. I can’t talk details — issues of national security, if I told you where I went I’d have to kill you and all that — but I’m here now, and determined to catch back up with one of the smartest shows on television. I’m realistic, though, and know that if I were to try to fully recap each of the five episodes I’ve missed with thoughtful analysis and all that jive, I’d never catch up before the season finale on October 17th. So! Instead! You can find three of the episodes briefly recapped after the jump. As for the other two episodes, I’m going to try to give the the respect they deserve. We’ll see how that goes. ONWARD!

“The Truth Will Out”

September 4, 2010

AMC

Does this map make me look evil?

There’s a leak at API which means Everyone gets a polygraph! You get a polygraph! You get a polygraph! YOU get a polygraph! EVERY!BODY! GETS! A POLYGRAPH! What we learn from the polygraph: Miles lost a super-secret file in a cab (which he actually confesses to Will before going in for his polygraph); MacGuffin has used illegal drugs (no duh); Grant totally wants to cheat on his wife; Kale is awesome (which we already knew); and Will learns that David was given a polygraph at some point.

Will, who was already all worked up for having found a bug in David’s owl statuette (and then even more worked up when the bug went missing while the FBI was snooping around), and having noticed an Atlas McDowell paperweight in Spangler’s office earlier, decides that it’s a totally good idea to break into Spangler’s office. There he finds a file on David, and is discovered by a very angry Kale who had earlier told him to quit being so stupid all the time. Will finally gets around to asking what the audience had been asking all along: Exactly who is API working for?

The leak is some schmo we don’t know, and Spangler fires the leak’s boss in the most dramatic way possible.

In the meantime, the team has figured out that this Tanaz lady who was at Boeck’s son’s wedding is 1. the head of the Afghan Rehabilitation Foundation and 2. the third person in that photograph with Boeck and Yuri.

Ms. Rhumor’s house is broken into one night, while she is home, and while nothing is stolen, she later discovers a bug hidden on the mantelpiece. So, she’s all, SMELL YA LATER, HOUSE. And she tosses the keys into the bushes before driving away, because she’s totally rich and can just abandon a mansion like that.

“Caught in the Suck”

September 11, 2010

AMC

Interrogating terror suspects is such drudgery.

Some CIA spooks contact Miles and MacGuffin to tell them that Kateb might not actually be dead in the airstrike that they approved, so guess what? They’re going on a all-expenses-paid vacation to not!Abu Ghraib to help the CIA out with an interrogation of a terrorist suspect. There, Miles and MacGuffin explain that the information the suspect is giving under the duress of torture is useless. However, Miles notices that the suspect keeps mentioning Kateb hanging out with aid groups, and he and MacGuffin are somehow all AHA! This has to do with Tanaz! She’s a source for the CIA and you are trying to determine if she’s a double agent! And the CIA is all KTHNXBAI, and sends them back home again, but not before they have meaningful conversations about the morality of torture.

Kale still has Maggie spying on Will and his office trash, and through her, he learns that Will has been eating Japanese hard candies with Bancroft. Kale urges Will to let Bancroft help him in his investigation of Atlas MacDowell and is all, O by the way, I’ve had Maggie spying on you all along. LOL! Kale then goes to Bancroft and encourages him to help guide Will, and leaves him a note with Atlas MacDowell, API, Donald Bloom and Edward Roy written on it. Bancroft, in turn, shows up at Will’s door with a pile of papers and says something or other about Atlas and “The Leviathan” and a hydra. Will sighs heavily. Later, when Will goes through Bancroft’s research on Kale’s urging, he notices that the company Edward Roy works for, Garson Security, has the same address as The Citizens Institute. Which just so happens to have Spangler on its board. So Will heads down to the address only to find that WHADDYA KNOW, Atlas MacDowell is in the same office. And while NOT ACTING SUSPICIOUSLY AT ALL, Will steals a phone book before leaving the building. Yoink! Later, Will tells Kale that Atlas, Garson and The Citizens Institute are all one and the same and that Spangler is involved, as well as a bunch of muckety-mucks from Washington, and he can prove it thanks to the telephone directory. Kale then tells Will that this group was probably behind David’s death, and Will begrudgingly chooses to sorta trust him, seeing as Kale’s name wasn’t in the directory. Then Will goes home and destroys the bugs therein.

Spangler, Sledgehammer and the other men who control everything have a meeting to eat Danishes and discuss ruling the world. Spangler asks Sledgehammer about Ms. Rhumor, and Sledgehammer reports that while she was freaked out by the break-in, she’s totally fine now and is no longer asking any more questions, so no need to worry about her anymore! Spangler has a suspicious. At his office sometime later, Sledgehammer notices that someone is watching him. So he calls Ms. Rhumor and leaves a message apologizing for being such a terrible friend all the time, before doodling something on the back of the photograph of the seven boys that he stole from her house. Later, Ms. Rhumor receives an anonymous envelope with the photo inside, and on the back, a drawing of a four-leaf clover.

Spangler sends MacGuffin to rehab, because he’s such a big softie.

“No Honesty in Men”

September 18, 2010

AMC

Sex, lies and videotape.

So, that woman across the way from Will? The one who was eye-flirting at him a couple episodes back? Yeah, Will just marches over there in the middle of the night and moves himself in to her apartment. Because this happens. In New York City, young women who live by themselves routinely open their doors to total strangers at midnight and then let them live in their apartment because they say that they are an intelligence analyst and their apartments are bugged and people are out to get them. WHATEVER, RUBICON. Anyway, Will hides his files in Andy’s (that’s her name, Andy, this addled-brained woman who lets strangers — albeit cute strangers — into her apartment in the middle of the night) bathroom. And then they set up a video camera to catch any shenanigans that might happen in Will’s apartment.

The next day, Spangler shows up at Kale’s house asking if he can expect Will to be at work, and Kale’s all, Uh, yeah? And then Spangler gets all cryptic and Kale wonders if he’s worried about Will. Nope! No worries! KBAI!

Will does indeed show up at the office, where he learns from Miles that Tanaz is dead. R.I.P. lady we never met. And Will informs Miles that MacGuffin is in rehab, which is why that Julia lady that Miles is crushing on will be joining their team temporarily. Will takes a break to go up to the roof for a little rendezvous with Kale where he explains that he destroyed one of the bugs in his apartment and he announces that he doesn’t trust Kale. He heads back downstairs to eat lunch with Miles where they discuss Tanaz and Iranians. Julia comes rushing in with news that Tanaz may have been receiving emails with codes that only Iranian agents use, and Grant offers the news that Kateb might not actually be dead. So Will charges the team with figuring out who killed Tanaz: Iran or the CIA, while he leaves for the day, to go get his nails done or something. KBAI.

Kale notices that he’s being trailed, and so he goes to Spangler’s office to demand to know why, and to ask if Will is a problem. Spangler makes some veiled threats and Kale frowns.

While he was at work, Will’s new girlfriend who apparently doesn’t have a job herself, roots through his bag and discovers his gun. THIS STILL DOESN’T BOTHER HER — THE FACT THAT THIS STRANGER WHO SHE LET INTO HER HOME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT RANTING ABOUT BUGS AND SPOOKS IS ARMED. (I haven’t watched the next two episodes, but she’s totally a spy, too, isn’t she? She has to be. That or INCREDIBLY STUPID. And if she is a spy, then how dumb is Will for not questioning the fact that this lady just let him move into her apartment in the middle of the night? COME ON.) Anyway. The gun gets Andy all hot and bothered, and as soon as Will returns to the apartment they totally get it on. Later that night, Andy notices a flashlight beam in Will’s apartment, and wakes him up in time to see Donald Bloom poking around in his underwear drawer. Even later that night, Will slips out of Andy’s apartment and meets Kale at a diner where Kale informs him that Spangler knows they’re working together. Will gets all belligerent and ranting about how they actually aren’t working together anymore, thanks to Bloom rooting around in his silverware. Kale gives Will a clip of Tom Rhumor’s obituary noting that he was on the board of Atlas MacDowell and that he died the same day the crossword puzzle came out, but Will’s all NO, I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU NOW.

MEANWHILE, Grant’s shrewish wife is fired from her job and so she gives him grief for having such a lousy low-paying job himself. Later, Spangler approaches Grant about the situation and starts making noise about how he’s happy Grant’s around in case Will needs to, you know, take a leave of absence or something. WINK WINK.

Miles and that Julia chick go out for drinks.

Ms. Rhumor meets with Mr. Rhumor’s first wife and asks her about the photograph of the boys. Mrs. Rhumor the First identifies one of the kids as Professor Suicide, and Ms. Rhumor is all, HMMM. So she visits Mrs. Professor who goes on to identify one of the other boys as Spangler, the director of something called API, and who stopped by to visit her after her husband’s death. He was a very nice man. Ms. Rhumor is all, HMMM. So she takes a late-night walk by the API building, just to, you know, check stuff out. And get herself caught on the building’s security cameras, because, come on.

Alright. I’m going to watch the next two episodes and write up full-length recaps. We will see if this is actually accomplished before Sunday…