The Best of TripAdvisor Part 2

TRIP ADVISOR. It’s the breeding ground for over-privaledged idiots who have no concept of how little their uneducated opinions matter. Following on from our previous piece: “The Best Worst Trip Advisor Reviews” we’ve revisited the shit stain of a website and grabbed some new reviews that are solely designed to let you know just how important these people are.

Enjoy.

Annddd that’s all you need to know.

N.B: Definitely about a Restaurant/Bar and not a female grooming salon.

That feeling when your cocktail talks to you and is a bigger arsehole than you are.

That is not a pun and you have had all pun-cracking privileges removed.

THAT’S A PUN.

When you say you’re a “Veteran of Hospitality” on a negative TripAdvisor review, you’re basically telling everyone that you touch cats in their special places.

This guy’s palette is finely tuned and also very moral.

SOMEBODY GET THAT POOR FOOD A CUSHION.

Written at the start of a very long review.

This review actually goes into detail about the room next door having sex. It’s not very enticing and she doesn’t give them any credit for their rhythm and stamina.

… Has written a ‘Terrible’ review before this one.

4pounds 50 for 2 drinks is a fucking bargain.

Going into a Caribbean Restaurant and ordering something that you don’t class as Caribbean and then complaining that it isn’t Caribbean is how the Cold War started.

The world literally thanks you for literally taking the time to literally do so.

“Bad Attitude Parts 1 and 2” will be available in cinemas early 2017. Storyline fairly intuitive and you guess the theme of the plot yourself.

I hate ordering T-Bone rubbish. Also, I WILL tell you exactly how to make these raw tomatoes and one mushroom taste great. Get a pen.

TripAdvisor drains the life from people. It should be avoided at all costs and if you ever feel the need to write a review on this whirling coagulated semen bucket of a website then please do have a few words with yourself first. If you still feel the need to infect the world with your words of utter T-Bone rubbish please mention if you are a veteran of the hospitality industry or how much money you spent at a different venue.