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In the detail from Botticelli’s painting, the one of the oranges in their deep green trees at twilight, I’m able to feel it again. As a child, I didn’t see the brush strokes but the painter’s pure vision, standing between the real and the oils that caught it. What floats between the thing and […]

A week ago, my mom and i were shopping at carrefour, for those of you who don’t know carrefour is like Walmart to Americans here in Jakarta. In all my stay in Indonesia, the thought of Indonesians being patient is something i will always carry with me. As they stay hours in traffic and other things. We went there on a Wednesday evening through the basement of Ambassador mall, we finally got done and went to the cashier section with our trolley, as we got there i had a feeling so i said let’s go to the other line, but she said no let us wait these ladies are almost done. As we were waiting in line, the first lady pushed her cart forward and started yelling at us, giving us a lecture on personal space, while her saliva was landing on our faces. My mother was beyond shocked when this lady’s sister also joined her in giving us a not so gentle lecture, pushing our trolley and even pushing my mom to the side, I was thinking xenophobia maybe. Suddenly she told us that she knows poor Somali North Africans like us who live in Indonesia without a Kitas (residence permit) and that she was going to get us deported. The most surprising thing about the incident was that we did not even go close to this lady, a few minutes later she paid the cashier and left after creating a ruckus. She really wanted to fight with us, apparently she had reported us to the nearby security who came to see our Kitas, while she stood outside. My mom being the ever patient person stood aside and pulled out her passport, see the thing is a diplomatic passport works wonders in this world. The security was embarrassed and started apologising when my mom got angry and started giving him her lecture on the fact that she would not be deported from this country, of all countries to be deported from, why will she chose Indonesia. I told him that we were here because my dad works for the embassy and we will leave on our own by next year before my Father’s term is over because to be honest Jakarta is not all that enjoyable to us anyways. Phew! what a ruckus, I actually thought that maybe she was deported from an English speaking country in the area say Singapore or Australia perhaps, because people over here speak Bahasa with a pinch of English. My over-thinking self put to work right there. What an angry lady ! Bye

Hey everyone so as i was debating with myself on which post to upload i decided on this one, do leave constructive criticism for me to improve.

A beautiful creature unattainable,
an illusion…yet
you attempt unfailingly
running after it
colourful and bright
you run after it with all attention
Ignoring your surroundings,
love struck and bewildered
you run faster
concentrating harder
you attain it a few times
for fewer moments
What a tease….
you keep running
Then you crash and fall
……..to your death
Your eyes come wide open
to observe for once
An illusion that lasted a few minutes
or few years in this case.

Life is a gift even if you live in a Ditch, Never mind that i just made this quote . As for the people that have hurt you let them believe they have, you don’t wanna be living in a coffin 6 feet under, I know it seems like yes “let me just die” but have you met a dead person who told you “Oh life is so easy and happy over here” NO you have not. So how are you sure that your problems are over if you die. death or suicide is never the answer, for it is a coward’s way out of a situation they could have changed but were too afraid to take the first step.

NO IT IS NOT!

You have no reason to hate yourself just because a group of people hate you remember that they are just a FEW/ 8 billion, therefore i declare them a waste of space and most importantly a waste of your time and energy. You don’t have to conform to society’s standards of anything and you don’t need to care what their standards are in the first place.

As for my religious people including i myself, suicide is a sin in almost all religions I’ve heard of. God wants you alive for a reason and he will help you through all your ordeals. As for my fellow muslims the deal is non-negotiable you have to wait for your time.

Take control of your situation because you have every reason to live, as long as you are alive. Remember you have to fall before you rise again, disappoint all your haters and culprits by rising again, don’t make them successful by giving UP.

No situation in life is beyond repair. stop crying and dry your tears for that is simply a waste of body fluid isn’t it ? and stop hating your life.THE LIFE AND OPPORTUNITY YOU HATE TODAY IS WHAT SOMEONE 6 FEET UNDER WAS WISHING FOR.

NEVER, NEVER Give UP

Remember help is always available so i have included a few national links for US and australian citizens:

US: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Australia: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Bye!

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About me

Hello there,
I'm 19, introvert and sickle cell anaemic warrior, i think there is always hope in any situation and i am infinitely optimistic. My blog is all about poetry , occasional seasonings of cuisine and random rants on personal oblivion.
Multi lingual and confused as well so bear with me, some statements just sound better or make most sense in their native language, {you have probably guessed I'm a TCK, a third culture kid}, explains the awkwardness.
i am a biology major, so yes chordates, invertebrates and all that scientific brouhaha, feel free to discuss all things book with me, from romance novels, sherlock holmes adventures to rikkard ambrose, be it Rumi with the beautiful soul or IB organic chemistry, and Allah said let there be hydro carbons and boom( methane, tert-butyl) etc my favourite phenylalanine and sphincter of oddi , physiology or physics. Basically all things NERD AND BOOK WORM.