This is the objective:
Each team starts with one power crystal in their camp.
IV and Blitzen, distinguished Owner of the English Language have gold
Moron and pes have platinum
OneEye and jifel have silver

the color doesn't really mean anything, but it will allow you to track your "team's" crystal around the battlefield. There is a trans green one hidden somewhere on the battlefield, though I will admit it isn't easy to get to.

As long as you have at least one crystal in your base, your medic may res fallen units. He may also self-res. Once respawned, a unit will spend a turn in the graveyard, and another turn recovering. Their weapon will be left at the scene of their death. (Any unit caught graveyard camping will burst into flames)

If you have 2, you will gain the help of your team's Mercenary. The Mercenary cannot be respawned unless you have at least 2 crystals.

If you have 3, your team is invincible

You win when you are the last team alive, or when we all get bored of the game we will vote on a winner based on awesomeness. Whichever comes first (I'm assuming the latter).

- At the center of the battlefield, next to the old blacksmith shop, there is a catapult capable of launching anything. Anything... provided you load it yourself.

- The turbo-guns in Blitzen's base as well as the missile turret in jifel's are activated via remote control. There are 2 remote controls hidden on the battlefield.

- You may encounter a suitcase with a computer chip inside. This chip is a bug. Plant it in someone's base, and I will send you a copy of their orders every turn until it's disabled. There should be 3 or 4 of these hidden in various locations. That reminds me, if you want to get a better look at your surroundings, use a movement phase to "explore".

- Binoculars can be used to "explore" your surroundings without using up a movement phase. Compasses can be used to point you in the direction of the nearest power crystals.

- Every turn, you may send a one-liner that I might include in the battle report in the form of a speech bubble.
Example: Use my hero's flame thrower on jifel's medic. "Need a light?"

- In addition to being completely badass, your demolition expert may set timed charges anywhere on the battlefield (in his immediate vicinity) during any turn. Just include the number of turns you want to set the fuse for. This will be great for surprise attacks.

- I may have mentioned this before, but the only units that can use super weapons are Heroes, Demos, and Mercs. Medics may use weapons, but they don't start with any.

- Cannonballs are limited, but cannons may be loaded with anything that even remotely fits in the barrel. In a pinch, you may find a metal detector that can discover additional cannonballs buried in the sand. Shovels and picks work the same way, but take longer to use.

- There are several rocket launchers, but rockets can also be remotely detonated by swinging them like baseball bats.

-pesgores' hero may not step off studs. He is completely confined to baseplates.

Chef Luigi is throwing a BrikWars and Pizza Party for your Mercs while they wait to be summoned into battle. Even the Angry Inch showed up!

The Mercs of the teams nobody picked weren't invited

jifel wrote:Ooh, nice! Shiny green cristal... Is their anything unique about the crystal, or is it just something to add to your other crystals for the stated bonus'?Also, where is the graveyard?

Nothing special about the green crystal except for the fact that it's currently unguarded and looks more awesome than the others.

Every team has a graveyard in their camp (that patch of brown earth with a headstone).

nah, your army is fine. Jifel and pesgores are probably in the most immediate danger, as they are closely surrounded by enemies.

Jifel sent me some very good questions that might clear up my confusing jargon above.

-Does "[Explore]" only take up move? So I could "look" around me and shoot anyone who comes in range?

Sort of. "Exploring" takes up only a movement phase, in which I will send you a PM of everything in your immediate area of interest. This is useful for if you think there might be a cool item hidden nearby or if you think your base might be bugged. You can still shoot after "looking".

-Would I know if someone planted a bug?

No, you have to discover that for yourself

-If I pick up an item, would everyone know, or will you just tell me by PM?

They will only see what is included in the battle reports unless they have bugged you. You have to tell me if you want to pick up an item. Let's say you "Explore" a room, I send you a PM detailing all the items in the room. One might be, for example, a battle axe. You will then reply with "ok, pick up the battle axe". If time is running out and I don't get your reply in time, I'll do whatever I assume you would want. So I wouldn't swap a gun for a battle axe, but if your unit were weaponless I would have him pick it up.

-By the catupult firing anything mean I can put anything inside of it, or that I can say "please fire the death star" and a $400 lego set lands on Pesgores?

The catapult fires anything that you physically load it with.

Just two more things I should mention before the first turn:

- The turn order is based on the order in which you send in your orders, so be quick. I'll brief you before every turn.

- Feel free to name your hero, I will refer to them by whatever name you want during the battle reports.