Monday, July 23, 2012

Q:
My neighbor's dog barks all the time. I've asked him to do something about it
but he keeps leaving him outside, which means right outside our bedroom window.
If he isn't barking, he's wining to get in. He's a good dog—I don't blame him.
I just think if you own a dog, you should care for him and still have some
concern for the neighbors. Since I've already spoken to him and don't really
want to call the police because we are neighbors and I have to live in the
area, what else can I do?

Anne:
Check the statutes in your area related to noise pollution and see if barking
dogs are part of them. You might talk with a city council person to see if they
have ideas. But you might have to hint that you are going to take action unless
the dog owner does something. The trouble with hints and threats is that you
have to be willing to follow through.

Dee:
This is not my area. If you had asked about lordosis (doggy style) and its
variants I would have had some tidbits of wisdom, but about doggies in general?
Nope. Sorry. You're barking up the wrong sister.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Q: I am a mortician. I'm used to
all the jokes and stories made up about morticians, but it bothers me when my
girlfriend takes part. I've told her over and over that I get that kind of
thing enough from others, and that I take my job seriously. It's important. But
she continues. What can I do to get her to stop?

Anne: Well, maybe nothing. If you've
explained how you feel and she doesn't care to pay attention, maybe that's a
hint as to how she feels about you. Or maybe your profession makes her nervous.
Are there any other problems? You should examine your relationship beyond jokes
made about your job.

Dee: Maybe she continues to make
jokes becausewell, shit, maybe because
she finds such jokes funny. It's a release from (what you have to admit) is
kind of a macabre, dark profession. Maybe you should joke back. Let her know
that yes, your job is really important and yes, it's a serious profession, but
that you can appreciate the way she needs to handle release from that.

Or
tell her that when she tells jokes about dead bodies and such that it makes you
hot and that you must have sex or a BJ every time you hear such jokes. Then follow
through. Either she will give up the jokes or you'll have lots of fucking
added to your life. Either way, it's not so bad, right?

Monday, July 9, 2012

Q: I took my daughter out for
dinner over the weekend. I only see her every other weekend. She's six, going
on twenty, I've discovered. Over hamburgers she asked me what boys do with
their penises. I asked her why she asked and she said that mommy's boyfriend
walks around the house naked and when she asked what the thing was hanging in
front, he said a penis. I was so furious I couldn't think of what to say. I
finally did stumble over a brief explanation that little boys and girls have
different bodies because God had different plans for us, but I didn't go into
any great detail, or try to explain sex. But I do want to know what my ex wife
is thinking. And doing. And exposing my daughter to. What should I do?

Anne: See your lawyer. You don't say
how long you've been divorced, but especially if it's been a recent event, you
need to get things straightened out as soon as possible. And talk to your ex.
Let her know you're concerned and that your daughter is asking questions.

Dee: There is nothing wrong with the
human body or even exposing it to children—in the right circumstances. That
does not sound like the case here. At any rate, you have the right to know what
your child is seeing and hearing. Lucky you that she trusted you enough to ask
questions. Anne is right. Let your ex know that you don't appreciate boyfriends
walking around in the nude, and also contact your attorney. This isn't
something you want to come back later and have anyone say that you knew and
took no action.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Anne and I want to wish everyone a wonderful, happy Independence Day celebration. Please remember our men and women overseas, fighting to protect us and keep us safe so we can have hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill and watch fireworks. God bless them, their families and all of us.

About Us

Dee and Anne are two sides of the same romance author. Dee is sweaty-sheet, romp-in-the-hay sex. Anne blushes at such stuff. We both write emotional, often fun, always loving romance you can get lost in, though.
Thanks for joining us!