Local ministries aim to provide resources, support to families impacted by homosexuality

Megan Lea BuckMidland Reporter-Telegram

Published 1:06 pm, Thursday, July 21, 2011

When practices at the Christian counseling center operated by the husband of Republican presidential contender Michele Bachmann caught the interest of national media and the criticism of gay rights groups and others, an ongoing political and religious dispute was revisited.

How does the evangelical church — whose members hold to a literal interpretation of the Bible — respond to the gay community? And how do gay individuals who also adhere to conservative Christian beliefs reconcile the two often-conflicting facets of their identities?

Shari Johnson, president of the Odessa chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), has explored these questions since learning her daughter was gay.

"I come from an evangelical Christian background and believed wholeheartedly that homosexuality is a choice and that people could be 'delivered,' 'cured,' etc. I no longer believe that. My world was rocked when my daughter, who was 37 at the time, told me she was gay. To make a long story short, I expected God to change her, but instead, he changed me," she wrote in an email.

When asked how she thought the evangelical church handled the issue of homosexuality, Johnson said churches often send a message of exclusivity.

When asked how she thought the evangelical church handled the issue of homosexuality, Johnson said churches often send a message of exclusivity.

"Many Christian homosexuals feel that they are cut off from God because of the message of the churches — that they can't have a relationship with him," she said. "Nothing is further from the truth."

Mike Goeke, associate pastor at Stonegate Fellowship and co-founder of the church's Cross Power Ministry, also feels many churches often are at a loss on how to address the issue with many gays feeling alienated by the church's conservative beliefs.

"We believe that homosexual expression is outside of God's design for sexuality — as is all sexual expression outside of a husband and wife in biblical marriage," he said. "But we believe that God can work in anyone's life to live a life in accordance with his design — a fulfilling, abundant, satisfying life."

Cross Power Ministries, started in 1999 by Goeke and his wife, Stephanie, aims to provide resources to churches, pastors and families impacted by homosexuality. The ministry also offers support to people struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction.

"We are here primarily for people in conflict with their sexuality; we are not out to turn people from gay to straight," Goeke said.

The ministry practices what Goeke refers to as "biblical mentoring," not the reparative therapy model for which Bachmann's clinic has received criticism.

"We walk them into what it means to be a Christ follower. A big part of that is helping people understand they're not identified by what they feel or what they struggle with. They are identified as a man or woman in Christ," he said.

Face to Face acts as a support group for families with a loved one who has struggled with unwanted same-sex attraction or is identified as gay.

The support group meets to "encourage one another and learn more about homosexuality and to have a greater understanding of where their loved ones come from," said Mickie Matthews.

Volunteers involved with the program also offer counseling to anyone who seeks their help to handle unwanted same-sex attraction.

"We're not professional counselors," she said. "We just want to be helpful and supportive to those who have unwanted same-sex attraction."

Matthews explained the ministry's perspective of not believing homosexuality is innate but also not believing it is an individual's choice.

"Our ministry believes, because we hold to Scripture, that a person is not born as a gay person, that that's something that for many reasons develops," she said, adding the ministry does believe in a way for a person to re-identify as heterosexual.

"It's not coercive at all. It's someone who wants to find help and a way out and we believe there is a way," she said.

Both Cross Power and Face to Face only offer services to those who seek them, but Johnson said even voluntary programs that may encourage individuals to reject their sexual identity can be dangerous.

"The heartache I have seen gay people experience who try to be straight for their families and others has convinced me that it is not a choice and that one can no more change their sexuality than they can change their eye color," she said. "By wanting to deliver them of this 'affliction,' they are saying they are flawed or defective."

For Goeke, though, the ministry at Stonegate is just like any other program to help people struggling with an issue.

"There are many people in the church struggling with this that are too afraid to get help, and our hope is the church will always be a safe place for those who want to get help," he said. "We also believe God loves gay people and wants to develop a relationship with them. That's not the same thing as condoning behavior."