Most women wait for men to message them first, so because you are the one to make the first move, there is added pressure. To avoid further frustration, I will let you know the best response to no response.

When you get no response from a woman…

Leave her alone. There have been many instances when I get messages from a men who continues to follow up when I don’t reply. A woman has no obligation if she doesn’t see a connection after looking at your profile (and women read profiles before replying!) And don’t send one a year later.

Update your profile.When you’re in an online dating rut, it’s time to really look at your profile. Are your pictures seven years old? Did you take up a new hobby that you haven’t mentioned? Have you decided to try polyamory, but your status says monogamous? I believe in refreshing profiles every 3-6 months or when something important changes in your life.

Read a woman’s full profile. Never message a lady after just looking at her cute pics and status. It’s lazy and rude. You might find she has three kids, and you aren’t into children. Or maybe she’s looking for a husband, and you just want to play the field.

Craft personal first messages. The majority of first messages I receive are quickies of the “Hi” or “How was your weekend?” variety. Unless a man’s picture is top of the crop, I won’t even check out his profile. Again, this falls into the lazy dude pile. Would you apply for a job with a cover letter that just said, “How’s it going?” Online dating should be fun, but you still have to put effort in if you want to catch… and hold a woman’s attention.

Stay Positive. This one is very important, guys! There are a LOT of angry men on dating sites, and the majority of us lady online veterans avoid them like the plague. My guess is that they weren’t always angry, but dating or sexual rejection has soured them. Please don’t become THAT guy. Smile in your pictures and write a positive, humorous profile.

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