From Our Perspective: A Change of Heart

Most of us believe we are good, safe
drivers and we advocate safety always –
it is our business to do so. But whenever
I speak to people who are concerned with safety,
the most common question I hear is “What else
can I do to reduce crashes?” There is a simple way
to reduce needless deaths on our roadways, and it
starts with a change of heart.

In my life and in my career, I have gone through
many levels of safety training and implementation,
and I know how it feels to have the bar raised
higher each year and to be asked to reduce crashes
more or eliminate them all together. But it wasn’t
until 2007, when my own daughter was killed by a
distracted driver, that I really embraced the need for
a change in heart – not just in policies or programs,
but the need for a change in the “why” behind my
choices and what it means to be an advocate.

Someone who has safety at heart would, for example,
never question whether or not to have a second
drink at dinner. Instead, he or she would never have
more than one drink or would just decide to not
drink at all. Someone who has safety at heart would
also never allow even one call or text to entice their
hands, eyes or mind from the task of driving – ever.
He or she would never steer with one hand while
sneaking a drink of soda or coffee or fumble with a
map or GPS while driving. This person would always
pull over when they need to address something
and always go the speed limit or below, even if that
might delay arrival time. Why? Because they know
that it is that one unguarded moment, that one fateful
decision, that one choice that causes destruction
and sorrow for thousands of people every year.

Someone said, “Integrity is what you do when no
one is looking,” and I agree. I began wearing a safety belt 100 percent of the time when my wife
was pregnant with Cady, my daughter, knowing that
it was purely a change of heart. Likewise I have
changed my phone message to say that “I might be
driving, so I’ll call you when I have stopped,” and I
ask friends to do the same. I approach parents in my
school parking lot who pull in while talking on their
phones and tell them that their crash risks increases
four times when they do this, so out of respect for
my children and others, do not do it around school or
ever, if you can.

This is part of my role with FocusDriven, a group of
victim advocates who speak not only to the science
behind cell phone-distracted driving, but also to the
heart. We are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters,
siblings, spouses and friends to those who have died
or been injured because people chose to direct their
attention to their cell phones, and not to the roadways,
while driving. We see firsthand how dangerous
this behavior is, and we work to stop it. Next time
you allow yourself to talk on your phone in traffic,
check your email at a stoplight or text message
behind the wheel, think about who you love and who
loves you. Think about the consequences of your
actions and whether you want to be responsible for
causing others pain. Think about thousands of other
drivers more concerned with their cell phones than
their safety, and say to yourself, “If I don’t have a
change of heart, will anyone else?”