Journal of a Polytheist and Death Worker

The Day I became Polytheist

It has been years now, almost 4 years or more, that I have been polytheist. In my spiritual life and quest I have grown into a polytheist, then a “hard polytheist”, and been born to my faith many many times, each time deeper.

But yesterday,was different. Thursday April 28, I was born as if for the first time as a pagan polytheist. Because yesterday I made the most significant step of my progressive coming out : I discussed publically of my faith, in a public place, with people I’ve known only for a year (my partner’s closest friends) and “confess” that I’m a polytheist. And by the way they are catholic, maybe even fervent catholic I don’t really know. I feel very weird that the bomb didn’t explode, that they did not faint or run away, or burn me on a stake. They are intelligent, sensible people and yet I was surprise by their very acute, intelligent questions.

– I feel relieved, I feel free.

For the first time in all my attemps, I took entire responsability, I made them pronounce the word for me and yet it was the most direct conversation I had on this topic: accepting to tell, to say that I believe in God, in many Gods, even in all the Gods ; I said yes for the Greek pantheon, I said yes when they said Thor and Odin… (damn’ and the movie’s just been out) – And I’m still alive ! I feel weird but I don’t feel ashamed.

Synchronicities are just perfect. I just saw very quickly checking my messages “Pagan Coming Out Day”, I saw Sannion’d written an article about the closet… but didn’t have time to read, I just had wonders and the idea on my mind… and then this particular night, this dinner at the restaurant, where we comically evoked Pre-colombian Gods, and then raised the fatal question : what do I believe in ? That was it. I thought about this label I hadn’t time to identify (PCOD), and inside a very second I decided to tell the truth, to stop hiding. And Gosh I feel… so intensely great! I think it was the last time I would stay quiet and miserable, removed from society and such topics of conversation. I finally feel totally ‘clean’ with my partner, who’s an absolute now believer. Now I don’t feel like I’m keeping things from him, and there won’t be no drama scene when I move in with all my practice stuff. Now I’m going to live my life fully and wholly integrate my spirituality. No shame of what I am, only confidence in life and the Gods. No more books hiding, or lies about what my shrine is… No more.

Congratulations, Valiel! That’s awesome! Coming out can be really tough, but I’m so glad I did it, and it sounds like you’re already getting the relief and freedom that comes with that honesty. And from all of us who are fighting the social stigma that still can come from being a Pagan, thanks for being willing to be counted as one of the many voices saying, “This is me!”