Everyday life as a Domina

Tag Archives: Japanese bondage

Again, make sure you have blunt-tipped or medical scissors on hand, safe-sane-consensual, communicate with each other blah, blah, blah, all that common-sense stuff.

M’kay, so the next thing I’ll show is a very basic shibari harness, like the one in this picture. It’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it, and you can do it relatively quickly.

Keep in mind, this does take some time to get right, and you’ll need to be patient, but it’s so worth it. This harness is unbelievably versatile. You can do anything with it once you’ve got it on him. You can tie his wrists and/or ankles to it, in pretty much any position. You can tie him to things in a specific position. You can put it on him under his clothes when you go out for a constant reminder of who owns him. You can use this as a starting point for virtually any kind of bondage you can think of. Literally endless possibilities.

You need a long length of rope for this. At least 35 feet, you might do better going with a 50-foot length. Again, better too much than not enough. And bear with me, y’all, it’s been a long fucking time since I’ve done this harness.

Also, when I did this last night, I was very eager to do some other things to him, so I wasn’t going to spend a damn hour making this harness perfect.

Thanks again to my boy, Sounder, for being my guinea pig.

Step 1:

Find the middle of the rope and double it up. Make a knot so you’ve got a loop at the end. Make four more knots, so you’ve got a total of 5. The distance you need between the knots will depend on the size and height of your sub, but you can adjust it as you go, so start with 6-8 inches.

Take the space between the fourth and fifth knots, and put that over your sub’s head, so the knotted length is in front.

This is what the back will look like.

Step 2:

Separate the lengths of rope behind him and bring them around to the front, one on either side. Thread them through the space between each knot, back-to-front, then wrap them around his body and do the same for the other spaces, until you get to the loop at the end.

Make sure you don’t do it too tightly, or you won’t be able to get to the bottom. This harness gets tighter as you tie it. Always make sure you can get two fingers between the rope and his skin. Again, adjust as necessary, and don’t be afraid to start over. It takes practice to get it right.

If you’ve spaced the knots correctly, the last knot should rest right underneath his balls, with the loop hanging down below that.

Step 3:

Now all you have left is the loop at the end. Pull the loop between his legs and behind him.

After threading the rope through the last space in the front, you won’t cross them behind his back like you did the other times. Instead, you’ll thread them through the loop.

Step 4:

Pull the two lengths of rope up his back and thread them through the space just above the first knot, on either side, front-to-back. As you can see, I started to run out of rope. I’m 70% sure this was 35 feet long. But I might be wrong on that, I’ve had this rope so long, I can’t remember what any of the lengths are.

Tie the two ends together in a square knot, and you’re done! If you have extra rope, you can wrap it around the two lengths going up his back, or you could tie him to something, or you could use it to tie his hands behind his back, or whatever you can think of.

The finished product, yay! From here, you can do whatever you want.

Want to use the rope handcuffs with this? Super easy. Go ahead and do Steps 1 to 3 of the handcuffs as you would normally. When you get to Step 4, wrap the rope around the bottom two crossed ropes across his back, along with the loops around his wrists. Then do Step 5 as normal, and you’re done. It’ll be comfortable, secure, and he won’t be able to get out of it.

Sarah, I hope these techniques helped you. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask anytime. I’m sure Sounder or Kazander would be thrilled to be guinea pigs and help me illustrate other things, wouldn’t you, boys?

I’ve been experimenting with Femdom with my boyfriend, and so far we both are having a lot of fun. It’s still really new and we’re going slow but we both like it.

We both like bondage. I really like restraining him. We got a set of those “under the bed” restraints, and that’s awesome. And we have handcuffs too, but those get way too uncomfortable for him because he has big wrists. I want to try tying him up with rope but we’ve been having trouble getting it right. Either it’s too tight and cuts off his circulation or it’s too loose and he can get out. Are there any techniques you know of to help?

Thanks!

Sarah

Hi, Sarah. Congrats on delving into the wonderful world of Femdom. I have no doubt that you’ll fall more and more in love with it, the deeper you go.

I do want to point out that I am in no way a rope master. It is, sadly, one of the few things I have limited knowledge of. It’s something I’ve always wanted to learn, though. Shibari is absolutely stunning, and really is an art form in and of itself.

Case in point.

Incidentally, if anyone happens to have experience with shibari, and lives in the Las Vegas/Henderson area, hit me up. I want to suck the knowledge from your brain.

So I’m not a rope master. However, I do have some basic knowledge that I’m more than happy to share.

Before anything else, we’ll do the whole obligatory SSC thing. If you’re doing ropework of any sort, particularly with methods you’re not familiar with, or suspension, etc., make sure you have a pair of blunt-tipped scissors. Should something go wrong, and you need to get him out of the ropes fast, that’s the way to do it.

First, you need to use the right kind of rope. Nylon is okay for basic stuff. Silk is better (but expensive). And judging by the tone of your question, I’m assuming you’re just looking for a couple of basic techniques to get you started. Nylon will work fine.

You could always buy a ready-made, idiot-proof set like this one. It’s definitely got its advantages. It’s pre-assembled, it’s nice and soft, and it requires basically zero work. I have a set myself, for those days that I’m feeling lazy and don’t want to go through and actually hogtie someone (hint: even basic ropework is time-consuming).

Here’s a picture of my set. Sounder was kind enough to “volunteer” to be my guinea pig for all of this.

Quick, simple, effective. And you KNOW I totally took advantage of this position after putting the phone down. Let’s just say he’ll be very sore tomorrow………

So there’s always that. The obvious problem with a set like this, though, is a lack of versatility. Sure, you could tie his wrists and ankles in the front, rather than behind him. But that makes it too easy for him to get out of. And unless your sub is extremely flexible, like, Olympic-gymnast-flexible, being hogtied is a position he’ll only be able to handle for a short time. So it’s fun occasionally, but this by itself is just not enough.

One of the most basic ways to tie a sub’s wrists together is called (I think) the Handcuff knot. It’s pretty easy. You’ll need about 25 feet of rope for this technique.

Rope work takes way more rope than you realize. A good thing to remember is that it’s better your rope be too long than too short. Don’t waste your time getting 5- or 10- foot lengths of rope. You won’t use them often enough.

Okay, so here we go. The Handcuff knot. Oh yeah, and Sounder is only allowed to wear women’s panties, so that’s why he’s got them on here.

Step 1:

Have him stand with his wrists out, about a foot, foot-and-a-half apart. Find the middle of the rope and lay it across his wrists.

Step 2:

Wrap the lengths of rope around both wrists two or three times. Count how many individual ropes are wrapped around his wrist. There should be at least five, especially if you’re going to keep him in this for awhile, or if you expect him to squirm and struggle and pull on it a lot.

Step 3:

Cross the two lengths of rope underneath, then bring them up and over the two 5-rope-wide sections.

Step 4:

Begin wrapping each length of rope around, until you reach his wrist.

Note:

Make sure there is some space between the wraps and his wrist.

Space. You should always be able to work two fingers in between the rope and his skin.

Step 5:

When you’re done wrapping, it’ll look like this. Take each length of rope and pull it through the last wrap on each side. From here, if your rope is short, you can tuck the ends in, underneath the wraps. Or, if you’ve still got some length left, you can tie a square knot in the center and use it to lead him around, tie him to things, etc.

Ta-da!

You can also use this to tie his hands behind his back, or to tie his ankles together, or to tie his wrists to his ankles, or his wrists/ankles to the furniture, the possibilities are endless. And this is a pretty comfortable tie for subs, so as long as it’s not too tight, you can keep it on him for extended periods (obviously communicate with him, watch his fingers/toes to make sure you’re not cutting off circulation. Common sense and all that).

So that’s one technique. Tomorrow I’ll detail how to do a basic shibari harness (don’t worry, it’s easy once you get the hang of it, and doesn’t take much time to do).

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This is an 18+ blog about my day-to-day life as a Domina, wife, mother, and all that other crap. A chronicle of me. While this blog focuses primarily on the D/s aspect of my life and my relationships with Kazander, Steel, and Sounder, it is not exclusive to that subject, and I might talk about my kid, or my annoying mother, or my sister's pet cat, or whatever the hell I feel like talking about.

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