Solving the Great Cafe Luxor Mystery

A frozen vodka with animal attraction

Anyone driving past Cafe Luxor over the last month or so has surely noticed the bar's marquee, which touts something called "FRZN VODKA PUSSY." At first it seemed likely that some sort of prank had been pulled on the unsuspecting hookah bar at the corner of Yale St. and Washington Ave. But if so, why hadn't the bar noticed it over the past several weeks? It seemed like the mystery of the Sphinx right in our backyard, only tackier.

The answer, it turns out, was only a phone call away. Picking up the phone this afternoon, a Cafe Luxor bartender explained that the frozen vodka pussy is a bona fide, honest-to-goodness drink special. Its base is the notorious energy drink Pussy, whose advertisements were banned in their country of origin—the United Kingdom, which regularly features full-frontal nudity on network TV—for being "too sexually explicit." Let that sink in for a moment. In an outstanding display of feigned ignorance, the drink's creators claimed not to understand all the fuss, insisting that their company was named after a fluffy white kitten, not unlike frat boys who walk around in South Carolina Gamecocks hats and pretend to be confused and/or infuriated when others are offended by their headgear.

The quote-unquote all-natural energy drink has a grapefruit flavor, says Cafe Luxor, which pairs well with vodka, as anyone who's enjoyed a Greyhound or a hearty swig of Deep Eddy Ruby Red vodka surely knows. The bar blends the two in a margarita machine, with the final frozen creation selling for $7.50 (which sounds pretty good on a hot, muggy day like today). With that, the FRZN VODKA PUSSY mystery was solved, and further proof provided that while the bro-tastic, fist-pumping, Jäger-chugging nightlife scene on Washington Avenue may be passé, at least a few vestiges of that era can still be found clinging like last night's glitter to a Red Bull–bloated club kid past his prime.