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One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.

The guy did, in fact, have some kind of black girl fetish.

White men navigate society with relative ease while black women are teetering on the precarious margins of race and gender that they do not have the privilege to ignore.

This is not a game to us, nor is it something we can ignore.

In other words, you should be looking at the to any of these, then you should take a step back to reevaluate.

These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them.

” Against my better judgment, I assumed that the wingman just wasn’t very good at his job and started talking to his friend anyway.

We ended up hitting it off, but it wasn’t until our first date that I realized I had underestimated the wingman’s abilities.And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.To be blunt: White guys, you often approach black women in a harmful way.Our race and gender affects the way we carry ourselves, and this uncomfortable mindfulness is something that white men simply cannot relate to.While it may be hard for two people from widely different intersections of race and gender to understand each other, it’s not impossible once the more privileged party (in this case, the white guy) is able to recognize their shortcomings and how the intersections of race and gender affect every aspect of a black woman’s life.A white man must be willing to work toward a better understanding of how race and gender intersect differently for everyone, and he must also be prepared to speak out against the injustices that their partners will endure.