Hobbs' MUSIC RANT

>It's like a musical Ever-Lasting GobStopper of Slack. Look into it.
>"Works v.1" is both accessible and good stuff.

..except for the sad remake of "Tank" on the Carl Palmer side. What *was* he
thinking of? Personally, I'd suggest starting with _Tarkus_, or _Brain_Salad_
Surgery_ (the latter featuring "Karn Evil 9", the best half-hour long song
ever released!)

But this gives me an opportunity to entirely agree with Lou, and cast out
the scoffers and blasphemers who seem to believe that having MUSICAL TALENT
automatically debarrs any band from having any SLACK. "Oh-hohoho, I like GRUNGE
because they're COOL and HIP and they make A NOW STATEMENT, but that PROG-ROCK
CRAP? It's so OVERBLOWN AND PRETENTIOUS and uses BIG WORDS that I can't under-
stand and it's actually a little musically COMPLEX SO IT MUST SUCK!!!" AIEEE!
All SubGenii who actually believe the fashionable Musical Con's *LIES* that
"Rock 'n' Roll" only counts as WORTHWHILE if it's played by DRUNK TEENAGERS
who know THREE WHOLE CHORDS and sing lyrics like "Argh argh argh I hate my
mother/Argh argh argh I hate my father" are tools of the FASHIONABLE MUSIC CON.
DON'T CALL ME AN OLD FOGEY, PINK-BOY! My two recommended albums above are
OLDER THAN I AM!!! But because I wasn't brainwashed by CONSPIRACY RADIO for
buying every "cool" piece of CRAP with a nice BACKBEAT so you can DANCE to it
and pay BRIGHT PINK DEEJAYS far too much money to look at their COOL LIGHT
SHOW , I got into some MUTATED SHIT! Yeah, I went out to my friendly neigh-
bourhood SECOND HAND VINYL SHACK and bought all these GREAT ALBUMS which had
been sold on by middle-aged GLORPS who'd gotten into prog during the FIVE
MINUTES IT WAS FASHIONABLE IN 1974! AIIEEE, YES! "Tales from Topographic
Oceans"! "Lark's Tongues in Aspic"! Albums made by TRUE MUTANTS who blew off
their PINK RECORD COMPANY and their pressure to make a NICE HIT SINGLE and
did LONG, COMPLEX, sometimes BORING to the Pink Ear but always AMBITIOUS
MUSICAL FUCKING WORKS, "Bob"DAMMIT! KURT COBAIN'S FAVOURITE ALBUM IN THE WORLD
WAS KING CRIMSON'S _RED_!!!!! Yeah, but still those OH-SO-HIP MAl-ALIGNED
NORMALS *LAUGH* at me and LOOK DOWN their oh-so-cultured NOSES because I listen
to this "boring, pretentious" stuff instead of SHAKING MY BOOTY DOWN TO THE
GROUND IN THE MOSH-PIT AND BECOMING A PINK LEMMING JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!
*KREEEEEEGAH!* I will not REST until this music (art-rock, progressive rock,
classical rock, whatever you wanna call it) has achieved EQUAL VALIDITY with
all Yetisyn as VALID MUSICAL EXPRESSION, and so that my band can start making
some fucking MONEY! AIEEEEEEEE!

Conversely, all Prog-Rock-Head SubGenii must go out and listen to as much
Nirvana, Radiohead and Belly as possible. There must be BALANCE.
--
Anthony "Slug Of Doom" Hobbs Wellington, NZ hobbs_a@ix.wcc.govt.nz