I will tell you this, Lyme Disease isn’t easy. Actually it is extremely difficult and has been beyond difficult the last four and half years, in every way, shape or form you can think of. For the most part, for four and half years, I have not felt right, good, pretty much ever. I have learned to adapt. I have learned to do things feeling this way, but I have lived for the last four and half years with this uncomfortable feeling in my body, waiting and waiting to feel right, feel part of the world, feel good. The moments I have felt “good” or not to bad, where blinded by obliviousness and in many ways avoidance of not dealing with the root of what was going on. A protection mode of sorts, a survival mode, a way you don’t live your life. A way I had to live my life, had to put myself in a shell because of how weird I felt all the time, and to be honest still do.

You avoid to survive in a sense and then you get to a point where don’t want to avoid and you don’t want to just survive but want to thrive.