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Fatigue and Frustration

So I knew pregnancy fatigue was a thing, but I had no idea how awful it could be. Add onto that the fact that the fatigue got bad around the same time as my husband’s foot surgery and it’s been a very stressful month. I don’t know how you women with full-time jobs do it. Just taking care of me is more than enough but also taking care of him and having so little help means I am overwhelmed 24/7. I’m not sleeping well and when I am sleeping at all it’s from like 1am – 11am, intermittently. I know I said I wasn’t going to complain here but I don’t know what else to do with this feeling.

I’m getting very stressed out about Monday. My husband is supposed to go back to work. Aside from the fact that he is not really ready but his shitty clinic hasn’t even scheduled a follow-up appointment and his leave is up, the surgery was on his right foot and he’s still in a cast so he can’t drive. Which means I will have to drive him to and from work every day. At best it’s about 35 minutes in one direction, at worst it’s over an hour. So that’s 140 – 240 minutes of driving every day, mostly in shitty rush hour traffic. Can you tell I’m a little bitter about it?

I’m mostly mad at his clinic. He should have had a follow-up this week to clear him to return to duty or extend his leave. They also might have taken off the hard cast and switched it to a walking cast. I’d still have to drive him but he’d be more mobile at home. But honestly both he and I agree that he’s not really ready to go back full time right now. He still gets exhausted really quickly. Even on desk duty he’s going to wear out working full days very quickly. Which means he won’t be working efficiently and will be more prone to mistakes. We are hoping his supervisors allow him to work half days for at least the first week. He called today to talk to them about it but the office was closed early for the holiday.

My worst nightmare is him working full-time right away. Because right now he is able to help out a tiny bit around the house. And that helps so very much. But if he’s working all day he’s going to come home fucking exhausted and probably cranky. And after all the driving I’m going to be cranky. And that’s just a recipe for disaster in this house. His supervisors have been really accommodating in general (and he’s crazy lucky to be in a work center where that’s even possible) so I’m crossing my fingers that he can start with half days for a while.

In the meantime I’ve been having a really difficult time eating. It’s not nausea mostly, although sometimes it is. Food just doesn’t appeal to me most of the time. Until it does and I gorge and make myself feel really sick. This is not good for Blobby and I’m trying to keep eating at least something but the energy issue isn’t helping. I am at least taking my prenatal vitamins, so there’s that.

The really big news, however, is that my sister is also pregnant and due in January. I’ve known for a few weeks but she was very private about it so I’ve been keeping it under wraps. I’m so incredibly happy for her and excited about us having kids around the same time. My sis announced her pregnancy on Facebook last night. I was really glad she did, I want to give her some time to get all the love and attention before we announce. If everything goes well at my next appointment on the 17th I want to do it after that.

Unfortunately a relative almost ruined that and basically outed my pregnancy on Facebook. After my sister made her own post, I made a post about her pregnancy. This relative, who has known about me for over a month and probably assumed it was public by now, commented on my post about me being a mother too. Luckily I saw it right after she posted it and deleted it. The only person I know for sure saw it already knew. But she also posted something on my sister’s post that was more vague (about my dad being a grandpa twice close together). That got deleted after a while (not sure if it was her or my sis) and I’m just crossing my fingers nobody noticed. My sister’s post had so many comments (last I saw over 200 likes and over 100 comments) that it probably got lost in the shuffle. But it still makes me nervous and feel out of control. I really didn’t think this was a person I needed to warn about Facebook etiquette where pregnancy is involved and now I’m concerned I need to make sure other relatives know not to say anything about me yet. Sigh. Life on the internet is so complicated.

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3 comments

Facebook is the worrrrrrst. Quit. You’ll love it. Be like me! I’m the best!

Also your clinic is the worst. Shouldn’t they have scheduled him for a check BEFORE he was supposed to return to work? You know, to see if he COULD?!

Ugh. Good luck 😦 I, too, am constantly exhausted. I’m glad I sit at a desk all day, but just sitting up with my eyes open is hard. The house is a mess and I haven’t cooked in ages. I come home and LIE THE HELL DOWN. I feel useless.