Posts Tagged ‘mecanica inimii’

I don’t want sophisticated letters, short romantic home made films, breakfast in bed and all that..Well, truth is I do. But at this point in my life, I just need a nice boy who’ll have coffee with me at 7 am and call to say goodnight when we’re apart.

I’ve had no elementary or high school group of mates. I lost several friends. I don’t have special aquintances. I don’t hang out.

I’ve only collected glorious and at the same time painful moments. I’m full of people, places, memories, love affairs and long lasting relationships, fails, treasures and fights. My heart is a city. And it cracks like glass under lightning every time I recreate the past.

I miss all the strangers I couldn’t get myself to talk to.

And all the people I let go or let me go and that I’ll never see again except for on Facebook.

I don’t have any consistent friendship. It’s all made of fractals of past lives. I don’t know how to meet people. How to approach them. I’m not an introvert but I’m very shy and insecure. I get hurt easily so I back off before anything gets too messy. Except for romantic relantionships.

Maybe, you know, it’s an unfriendly age. Or maybe I’m a realist indecisive romantic stuck onto every person she ever loved/cared about and unable to move forward for new stories.

Or, MAYBE, there is a possibility. For Christmas, I will write a note to each one I have ever lost, hurt, abandoned, detached from or simply forgot. This is a project for my heart. I love you.