Today, I had a lengthy conversation with a client that not only made me laugh out loud but also lead me to start thinking. The client, we can just say, is a relationship expert. I run her business like I did for the lawyers back in NYC as well as for the other clients I also support in their online industries. This woman, is a few years older than me, divorced, no children and has recently begun to date a new man. (OMG! I love gossiping about boys!)

Well, if I can tell you how her personality has done a complete 180 in the past month, I am soooo not kidding! She smiles more, she laughs…she’s lighter professionally…blaming failures on messages from the universe…and she no longer micromanages every single thing I do while supporting her business…which I just consider to be a complete waste of my time! I can honestly say that I do believe that she is happy.

Now let’s take a deeper look into what about this guy and their relationship makes her happy. Today, while on video chat, it came up in conversation…how he comes to her house to shovel her walk and makes her tea every morning to go with her breakfast in a fancy water bottle he decorated for her and how every night he makes her dinner and wraps her up in blankets before he leaves for the night. Seriously?!?!

Clearly I must not be connected to my feminine side enough because I don’t see how that could possibly make a woman happy. Of course, I am from NYC and I truly believe sometimes that I was just born without a feminine side all together. My love of men centers around the stimulation I receive during intense, passionate conversations and debates over anything. I was not raised to and I don’t even think I’d know how to require or expect a man to hold my hand through life. THAT is NOT what makes me “happy!”

In contrast, what does make me happy in life is when I know that my man has the confidence in me to survive another day…to make it through my day without him having to worry about me at all. I explained to my client today how truly different we really are…how nothing could make me happier in a relationship than being able to share an evening and a night with the man in my life every week or so during which time I am made to feel as though I am the center of his attention.

I do not need my man to spend his time shoveling my walk (for starters, it never snows where I live so I guess it is a moot point), because I would rather pay someone to do that. That is not a demonstration of the love he has for me…in my opinion. And I don’t need him to paint flowers on a f’in water bottle for me with my name in pink calligraphy! I mean, what are we in Junior High School? Should I check my mail box for a mix tape or wait for the doorbell to ring with flowers? But does that mean I’m not happy? Of course not! It means that I require something different in order to make me happy!

I require a man who has depth and intellect and curiosity about the world and a job…which would keep him too busy to shovel my damn walk anyway! Someone who I don’t have to worry about making it through his day. I almost feel like this guy, who my client is now dating, might be more connected to his own feminine side than I’ll ever be! But does that mean that if I met a guy like that his added benefits would be wasted? Probably! Sorry, guy!

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2 thoughts on “Happiness…how do you define it?”

Haha! I do not mind if my guy should spoil me once in a while by decorating my water bottle with my name in pink! Although, just like you, I would truly want my man to be intelligent, deep and philosophical. I would love to debate with him and hope that he enjoys intellectually-stimulating discussions!

Everyone is so different. I’m in between. I have a wonderful boyfriend & with my chronic illness, on my bad days, he takes care of me. But I don’t want or need him to all the time. & if he was overly mushy, it’d drive me nuts!