Clearing the hoarded home of a family member or close friend can be absolutely exhausting to all involved. Not only have you had to deal with your family member or friend’s death or relocation, now you have to tackle the enormous job of decluttering the hoarded home, figuring out what to do with the belongings you’ll uncover—valuables, heirlooms, trash, donations, etc.—and finding the hoarding remediation help you need.

Sad to say, with family members contributing to the effort, tempers can flair and simple conversations can turn heated at a moment’s notice, sometimes for the littlest things. Issues surrounding inheritance, trustee or executor responsibilities, who gets what of the salvageable or valuable items under all the rubble, and blame for who didn’t do what in caring for the deceased or relocated hoarder can create the perfect storm, damaging relationships in the process.Adding to the stress is deciding what, if any, help will be required in clearing the hoarded home; also critical will be deciding what to do with the home after the clear-out: Sell it? Have a family member move in? Rent it? Even if you decide to demolish the home if it’s in irreparable condition, you’ll need to go through the hoard to determine if there are some possessions that you need to keep. It can all seem to be too much!

Throughout this process, many family members neglect their own health and well-being in order to just get through it. This can only make an already bad situation worse! Stress can not only destroy your peace of mind but can affect you physically as well. So some common sense is in order to keep you sane and healthy and able to get through clearing the hoarded home in one piece.

At the top of the list are eating right, getting enough sleep, and keeping the well-earned drinks at the end of the day to a minimum.

Set boundaries with family or team members who become verbally abusive or refuse to cooperate. If it’s possible to select one person as the “lead” on the clean-out, support them when they enforce rules of common courtesy.

Plan ahead with team members to decide what to do with retrievable items, such as furniture, clothing, or appliances.

Make lists of heirlooms or other valuables each of you thinks will be found when the trash is cleared away. Try to decide who will get what in a fair manner.

If you use a hoarding remediation service like Clutter&Hoarding Pros™, let them take the lead on schedules, resources, etc. An experienced team can often clear a hoarded home in days, not weeks.

If you decide to do the clearing yourselves, set a pace and schedule that seems reasonable to you: hours per day you’re capable of working; arranging for resources such as trash hauling, donation centers, locating e-waste disposal sites and hazardous material experts, deep cleaners, etc. Realize that the process is likely to take weeks, so set daily goals and be sure to take breaks.

Just remember, you can’t take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself, and know that there are companies out there, such as Clutter&Hoarding Pros, to step in and rescue you if you feel you’re in over your head. The goal is not only to clear the hoard, but also for you to survive!