This site is dedicated to my spiritual and physical journey before and after the death of my husband and the father of my son from cancer. It is about grieving, loving, understanding and sharing, and living in the connection while accepting the physical separation that passing on brings. It is also about moving forward in your life from whatever challenges life hands you and living the life that is wanted for you from above.

The Injured Athlete

There is a changing up of rituals that are familiar to you that often happens after someone close to you passes away. The activities that you once enjoyed together no longer serve you. The feeling of the void is too much and it sucks out the enjoyment of it all. Such is the case with Jackson and I. As I have not spent time in the kitchen these days, Jackson has whole-heartedly decided to give up hockey. He and Jordon were so connected when it came to hockey. Practices, skate sharpening, lace tying, playoff games, all of it has complete connection with Jordon and the pain of losing him is too much too soon for Jackson. I completely understand what he is feeling. He is self-directing his healing process and I am amazed at his progress thus far.

Jackson and I are forging new territory right now. We are blazing through new ideas and activities and creating new memories and fun. He is trying out a new sport right now and I am excited for him- football. And he’s damn good at it too. I am sure it’s his American roots coming out in him. As I was thinking about this process and his new interests, I had a vision today that I want to share with you all.

An analogy came to me today that is a perfect example in my mind of recovery from grief. When an athlete has an injury, that person can get knocked out of the game. Sometimes it’s a quick sit-out, other times it’s career-ending. Grief is much the same way and how you heal makes all the difference. Through physical therapy, an athlete goes through the motions, working the injury towards recovery. Moving to “act as if” you can jump again or swing out, or press forward teaches the muscles to regain flexibility and strength. The act of trying helps strengthen and lengthen and lessens the chance of scarring setting in and creating long -term damage. If you are grieving and you go sit on your couch and you do not move and you do not nurture yourself- you can create permanent emotional damage and possibly not be able to return to the game of life that you once loved. You have to stretch your mind, exercise you body and soul, create a “living as if” environment to be able to move forward and get back in your game. Seize your day, score a goal, and celebrate with your friends.

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One thought on “The Injured Athlete”

Beautiful words Holly…I like the analogy of the injured athlete and how it relates to healing the grief that can consume you. I’m glad to hear that you and Jackson are moving forward and working through your grief in your own ways. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep the writing coming…you are a very talented writer.

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Holly C Barker

My name is Holly Barker and I am the founder of Grief Anonymous, a national support organization for grief and loss. I am also the founder of the Grief Resource Network. My husband of 14 years and the father of my son died of Malignant Melanoma skin cancer in 2014. My mission is to write honestly about our journey and to share with those that are going through the loss of a loved one or another challenging experience. I learned through this experience about the process of understanding, accepting what life hands us, and living in the continuum and connectivity to our loved ones that have passed on. If you are stuck and having a difficult time moving forward into the life that is wanted for you from above, follow me on this journey and maybe it will help you, too. Love and Light, Holly