Conflict comes to Somerset Middle School

SOMERSET — Conflict was the topic in the seventh grade health class at Somerset Middle School last Thursday.

Educators Christy Caisse and Stephanie Joyal from the Katie Brown Educational Program had a discussion with the students about what conflict is, how it can impact people, the consequences of it and how to resolve it.

"Our goal is to prevent relationship violence, always, but it's in different ways, depending on the grade levels," Ms. Joyal said.

At the middle school level, the Katie Brown educators concentrate on peer, family and school relationships, and with the eighth graders, get a little into dating. At the middle school last week, the educators were talking to the students about having assertive behavior when dealing with conflicts.

Ms Chaisse said there can be healthy conflicts and healthy conflict resolutions. She and Ms. Joyal did an exercise with the students on how people behave and how people are not perfect. Ms. Chaisse said people make mistakes, but can fix them in the future. She told the students about how people sometimes just react, and do not think about how their words or actions can affect other people.

In another class, the Katie Brown educators played Friendship Bingo with the students and they circled five qualities they thought were important to have in friends. Ms. Chaisse said there are three qualities that are important for a healthy relationship that include honesty, trust and respect. She asked the students to think of the people they hang around with and if they have those qualities. Ms. Chaisse said if their friends do not have those characteristics, they should consider not continuing the relationship or maybe they could work on the relationship.

Ms. Chaisse asked the students to tell her what conflicts involve. And some of their answers included fights, verbal violence, aggravation, lies, confusion, fear, disagreement, drama, depression, insults, embarrassment, stress, jealousy, pranks, people hurting themselves, pain, bullying and people becoming nervous. The students said conflicts could result in stronger relationships, murder or low self esteem.

Ms. Joyal asked the students what is done to deal with conflict. Some of the answers they gave included apologizing, talking and suicide. Ms. Joyal discussed what she said are positive ways to deal with conflict, such as apologies, strengthening relationships, debate, disagreement, solutions and talking. Ms. Chaisse said she wanted the students to look at conflict differently.

"We can have positive conflicts," Ms. Chaisse said.

Ms. Chaisse said how people react to conflicts can determine if they are positive or negative.

"Everybody is going to have a conflict," Ms. Chaisse said. "We don't live in Disney World. Can we avoid conflict? No."

The educators gave worksheets with information about being assertive to the students. They then had a discussion about the differences of being assertive, aggressive or passive.The information on the worksheet said that body language, tone of voice and what someone is concerned with shows if they are aggressive or not. The worksheet said that people who are aggressive only care about themselves and use violent actions and words to hurt others. The educators told the students that there are consequences for being aggressive, such as getting arrested or people not treating aggressors the same and being afraid of them. They said it is easy to scream and yell and call people names.

"Acting aggressively is not going to get you very far," Ms. Joyal said.

Ms. Chaisse told the students that they should not be apologetic for having an opinion. Ms. Joyal said if someone is always going along with someone who may be doing something wrong or against the law, they can get into trouble, so she told the students they should not be passive which has to do with a lack of confidence and someone not believing in himself. Ms. Joyal said taking a fall for someone else is also a passive behavior. Ms. Chaisse said it is OK to be passive in some situations. She also told the students that it is OK for them to tell their parents that they do not feel their opinions really matter.

The Katie Brown Educational Program was founded in 2001 in response to the brutal murder of Katherine "Katie" Brown from Barrington, R.I. Katie was only 20 years old when she was killed by a young man she had dated on and off since high school. The program named after her is dedicated to the recognition and prevention of relationship violence. The program has an innovative and interactive curriculum that trained educators teach to students in fifth grade through high school throughout Rhode Island and southeastern Massachusetts. The program is also taught in correctional facilities and group homes. The educators teach youths information needed in order to build and maintain healthy relationships.

Middle school health teacher Nick Overy said there has been a positive response from the students to the Katie Brown program. He said when he sees the students in the hallways and cafeteria, they are frequently asking about when the KatIe Brown educators will be in their class again.

Mr. Overy said he could teach similar information as the Katie Brown Educational Program, but said sometimes the students get excited to see new faces in the classroom, so that helps them to learn. The Katie Brown Educational Program has been taught in health classes and study skills classes this year at the middle school. Mr. Overy said the educators from the program also run group activities. Mr. Overy said students sometimes get confused about what conflict and bullying is and so it is beneficial to have such lessons at the school.

"The kids are learning about their own rights they have that they can use to empower their own peer relationships and relationships with families," Mr. Overy said. "Also, I think the kids feel safer knowing these details, safer in the school and safer in the community."