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2.13.2014

why we work

I was listening to the This American Life episode this week, and they were replaying various Valentiney segments from years past. This one particular story is one the show has played for the past two years (sidenote: TAL, come up with something new for 2015, yeah?). The reporter interviewed a guy who had taken a rumspringa with his long-time girlfriend. The girl didn't want to get married until they had slept with other people, and so they took a month-long break and hooked up with as many people as they could. Frankly, I think that whole idea is awful. Unsurprisingly, the couple broke up.

In follow-up questions, the guy said that if he ever does get married, he wants reevaluate the relationship every seven years and then recommit if he wants. He thinks that the seven-year plan will make it so he can re-choose his marriage. That idea is also awful. Because here's the thing: if you want love, you choose it every single day.

{Engagement photo, Laughing Stars Photography}

Josh and I work because we choose to work. We work because we work to work. We work because we don't want an out--we work because we are eternally committed.

We work because he takes out the trash and I make his lunch.

We work because we both say sorry.

We work because I rock Asher in the night and Josh lets me sleep in on Saturdays.

We work because we cuddle in the mornings and kiss before bed.

We work because we know how important this marriage is. We work because we promised God--and each other--that we would.

{Wedding day, Michelle Olivier}

Every day Josh and I choose God, and we choose our marriage and our family. Love--real love--is hard won. When love is easy it's really, really fun, and we may be tempted to think that fun love is the important kind. But love is most important--and most soul-saving--when it's really, really hard. What good is love if it can't weather storms? What good is love if it can't power us through our ugliest moments? Josh and I work because our efforts are continual, because we choose to try again and again and again. We don't work because it's easy or because it's always fun--we work because we love.

*This post is in no way passing judgment on people who are divorced or otherwise single. Relationships take two people to work, and sometimes relationships need to end for our good. It's no one's job to pass judgment on a couple's decision to break up or divorce. All working relationships--romantic and otherwise--require the decision to love.

Just found your blog through the link-up and I loved this post! First -- This American Life is one of my faves. And I wholeheartedly agree that you must choose and fight for love every single day. Can't wait to keep reading along with your blog!

The Basics

I'm an optimist who still has not-so-good days. I have a husband, a baby boy, and more books than I have room for.
I love tulips, paperback books, clever TV shows, and Hogwarts. I'll pass on crowds, badly written romance, Comic Sans, and sports stores.
Thanks for reading.