And that was my first thought when I finished reading. Oh, and everything looks like it's going the right way

_________________Doing dumb things is what makes us normal humans.Made by Alex M. Spasibo!☭CCCP

Today's World Domination Is Provided By: PoniesOBEY THEFRIENDSHIPVote for TOBUSCUS!!!

Thu Feb 17, 2011 12:22 am

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

I'm sorry about this. I'll try better next time.

“Hello, cat lover. Is your other half home?” Bino said as he looked around, that mischievous grin still plastered on his face. “I hope you don’t mind my little visit here, but I thought you might want this” he waved the binder in Peanut’s face.

Peanut’s tail wagged as he saw the binder “Thanks, Bino! I’ve been looking everywhere for that!”

Peanut tried made a grab for it, but Bino quickly pulled it out of the other dog’s reach. “Ah,ah. I need to hang on to this for a little while. As the chairperson of the GODC, I have to weed out all cat lovers, and in order to do this, I need evidence. This binder is full of comics showing a dog with a cat girlfriend. You made it. Therefore, you are a cat lover. This Stripe is just a thinly-veiled version of that purple furball that you live with. Anyone can see that! And when I show this at the next meeting, you will be kicked out for good! Even my brother will have to agree to it!” Bino stopped at this point to let it sink in for Peanut. He had more to say, but he could wait a minute. He wanted Peanut to suffer for a little while longer.

During Bino’s little speech, Peanut’s ears and tail continually drooped lower and lower. He didn’t know how to react to what he was hearing. He was going to be kicked out of the GODC, ostracized from the community’s dogs, and there was nothing anyone could do. He knew that Fido might try to help, but he might be found out if he tried too hard, so Peanut knew that he was basically on his own. He wished at that moment that he had never made his comic. He wished that Bino had never found it, too. He began to whimper slightly and took an unconscious step back, away from the threat before him.

When he heard whimpering escape Peanut’s mouth, Bino knew that he had heard his cue. He was given the chance to completely destroy Peanut Butter Sandwich, and he wasn’t going to pass it up.

“ Aw, is the poor little puppy gonna cry now?” Bino said between bouts of derisive laughter. “ Want your little kitty to come over and make everything better? Well I have news for you, pup! SHE…DOESN’T… CARE!”

“Wha-? B-But Grape cares about me Bino!” Peanut wasn’t going to take that comment lying down! “ We do everything together! She tells me everything! Sh- she told me that I was her best f-friend!” His voice started to crack too much for him to continue, so Peanut just glared at Bino, hoping he would go away before Peanut started to cry.

“HA!! You are even dumber than I thought! You really think she loves you? She’s a cat! You are nothing but a toy; a plaything for her to mess with! She’s just stringing you along, toying with your emotions so that she can torture you! She knows about your little crush, and encourages it. That feline probably sits back and laughs at your pathetic attempts to keep it a secret.”

“NO!!! Gr-Grape wouldn’t do that to me.” Peanut’s face was streaked with tears as they started to flow down his cheeks. His voice was almost pleading in its tone. “She loves me.”

“Correction cat lover, you love the cat; she loves Max. I should know, since I have to put up with them at our home.” Bino’s eyes glinted. “And you know what their favorite thing to do is? They love to cuddle next to the fireplace and joke about how that feline has a certain pup wrapped around her little finger. You should be ashamed, Peanut, letting a cat do that to you! You deserve everything that is coming your way!” With that Bino turned around and walked away, the binder with his “evidence” clutched tightly in his paw. When he got to the end of the driveway, he turned around and shouted “Oh! By the way, Merry Christmas, Peanut! And stay away from the Secret Santa tomorrow!” before walking away, congratulating himself on a job well done.

Peanut was dumbstruck. He could only feel a great emptiness inside. He was alone, and the only one he thought he could turn to, someone he thought of as loving and caring, had been laughing behind his back. His mind just couldn’t handle the emotional strain of this new information. He collapsed, great sobs racking his body as he curled up on his front stoop into the fetal position.

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

I am in a bit of a quandary. I am torn on whether or not to add something to the end of this. It won't ruin the story and it would be a nice little section, but it is still a little sketchy. It might feel added on, I don't know. I'll figure it out, I guess.

Well, this update ends Bino's appearances for a while. He has done the damage, now it is time for others to clean up his mess. As always, he doesn't care.

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

Fri Feb 18, 2011 2:33 am

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

I had to scrap what I had for an update because I could not for the life of me figure out how to make the right conversation, so The next update will either be later tonight or wednesday morning. Sorry, guys.

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

I can tell you that I also have problems when I write dialogues. Sometimes, I stay in one place because I can't find the correct world and make the right syntax.Try to be in skin of the characters that are talking between each other and feel the situation that you've placed them in. And repeat the scene of their conversation in your mind.

We will be waiting here patiently And I hope you will find the right solution

Great work though, i'm wondering whether or not ur gonna hve fido and sabrina come out about their relationship

_________________

Bino Wrote:

I don't have any tricks up my sleeve right now that don't involve roleplaying... So...... *kisses sleet* BOOM! I WIN!

Tue Feb 22, 2011 7:45 am

Penwrite

Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:03 amPosts: 3407Location: Canterlot

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

No worries, bud. Good story is worth waiting for!

Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:05 pm

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

After a couple hours with the Drunken Fairy shouting at me for missing an update, I managed to churn something out. It was kind of long, so I split it into two updates. Next Thursday we get actual story development! Yay! For now enjoy some friendly banter between Fox and King.

King grumbled as he waded his way through the newly fallen snow on the ground. He used to love the winter snowfalls of his youth. They were the only times when Joel acted like a kid. He still had fond memories of playing with his pets; having snowball fights, building snowmen, and just running around, chasing each other until they fell to the ground, exhausted and laughing. It was the only time that any of them could forget their fractured home life, and just enjoy themselves. But that was another life. Literally.

He shook those happy thoughts out of his head and focused on the task at hand. Fox had gone with Officer Bill to spend Christmas with relatives, and King had to get away from the wolves for a little while in order to keep his sanity. He loved living with the wolves, but being stuck inside a house with an entire pack was a little too much for him. He had to get away and just be alone with his thoughts for a while.

“KING!! Hey, King, wait up!” The sudden intrusion on his thoughts made King jump a little. He whipped around to see who was yelling, and caught a gray spot in the distance. “Ugh, not the cubs again.” He mumbled. Putting on his characteristic snarl, King yelled “I told you! I just need a minute! Is that too much… to… ask? Wha-?”

As the gray blob came closer, King noticed that it was wearing a brown jacket, and Soon after that, a grey husky was panting in front of him. King stared at his friend for a second before asking the obvious question. “Fox!? What are you doing here? I thought you and your dad were going to your cousin’s place for Christmas. You should be halfway to Kansas by now!”

Fox just stood there for a minute catching his breath before answered “Dad’s motorcycle is in the shop, so We’re postponing the trip until New Year’s.” A grimace stretched across his face, “What are you doing out walking by yourself on Christmas Eve? I thought you said the wolves were having their first Christmas this year. Shouldn’t you be with them?”

“Well, I was, but the cubs were driving me crazy! I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t that rambunctious when I was a k…Pup!” King stopped himself just in time. He still wasn’t used to the idea of himself as a dog.

“Well, they are still young, King, and this is their first Christmas. You should cut them some slack! Besides,” Fox added with a slight chuckle. “ I remember driving my dad crazy when I was a puppy. I think you’ve just forgotten what Christmas is like when you’re that young.”

King’s face darkened a little as he flashed back to his childhood again. Gone were the snowball fights and playful laughter, replaced with scenes of a brown Christmas tree in a lonely corner of his childhood form, nothing underneath but empty bottles, and the only ornamentation being popcorn chains and a tin foil star topper. The only thing Joel and his pets could look forward to on Christmas was a reprieve from his father’s belt. “Yeah, Fox. Christmas was a real hoot for me as a puppy.” King said with sarcasm dripping from every word as he spoke.

Fox noticed the change in King’s Face, but chalked that up to his usual scowl. What caught him off guard was the sarcasm in his voice. He didn’t know how his innocent remark could have caused King to change so much. What the heck happened to him? It’s like he hates Christmas or something Fox thought. He said “What’s wrong King? You know, it might help if you talk about it.” Fox put on his most reassuring face and looked at King, hoping he could finally coax the little dog into talking.

King looked at Fox and heaved a big sigh before saying “Fox, I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work. I know I might seem a bit shut off, but I’ll tell you about me eventually. Just give me time to get comfortable with the idea first.” He actually didn’t know what to tell Fox without giving himself away. He needed to know what a normal Life for a pet was like first.

“Oh, come on King. Pleeeease?” Fox said as his pupils widened and a whimper escaped his mouth.

“ ACK! NO!!!! Not the puppy dog eyes! Anything but that!”

They stared at each other for a minute before cracking up in a fit of laughter that made them both tear up. They started to walk together, joking around and engaging in light conversation.

They continued on like that for a few minutes, neither of them really caring where they were going. Their conversation had ranged from neighborhood happenings, through Christmas present wishes, and had landed on favorite comic. King was just getting into a rant on why manga was overrated when he stopped, his ear twitching quickly.

“ What’s wrong , King?” Fox looked on his friend with a mixture of concern and curiosity. “Why’d you stop?”

“I don’t know…” King cocked his head to one side and listened for a second “Do you hear something? It sounds like crying,”

Fox turned his ear to the direction King indicated and listened. “Huh. It does sound like crying. You wanna check it out?”

“I guess we should. I hope no one is hurt.” King said as they swiftly made their way toward the mysterious noise.

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

By the way, did the conversation sound natural? I'm no good with that, so any help would be greatly appreciated.

I haven't found anything bad in it So in my opinion, it sounded natural. Good work.

It's a matter of practice

_________________I'm a bookworm!

Wed Feb 23, 2011 10:19 am

Penwrite

Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:03 amPosts: 3407Location: Canterlot

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

The way I see things Copper, there are two kinds of development you can have in a story: "plot" development, and "character" development. Which you have more of obviously depends on what kind of story you have, but never be afraid you're making the story drag if it's for the purpose of character. This was a great update, giving some insight into a character while setting up the next update nicely. ^_^

Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:26 pm

Coatl_Ruu

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:56 pmPosts: 1453Location: [REDACTED]

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

The conversation was fine. The update was a little short, but very well written. But it seems like King is a bit of a...

I don't have any tricks up my sleeve right now that don't involve roleplaying... So...... *kisses sleet* BOOM! I WIN!

Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:32 pm

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

Sorry, Housedog. Couldn't help myself.

As the pair got closer, the distinct sound of crying became more audible. Soon, however the wailing sob diminished to a quiet weeping. As they rounded a corner just past the park, King and Fox ran right into the source of their concern. They stopped in their tracks when they saw the huddled figure hunched behind a tree.

“Is that… Sasha!?” Fox asked, hardly believing his eyes. He had never seen her with any expression other than her usual joyous smile. No one had. “King, I don’t know what to do here. Any suggestions?” Fox whispered to King. Fox got silence for an answer. He turned his head and looked at his friend. “King?”

The expression on the corgi’s face was almost as out of character as Sasha’s. For a minute, Fox didn’t even recognize the other dog. You could practically see King’s heart breaking with compassion. Without saying a word, or recognizing Fox’s existence in any way, King walked over to Sasha’s huddled form and enveloped her in a comforting hug. He somehow managed to completely cover her back as he leaned in and quietly whispered reassurances into her ear.

At first, Sasha tensed up at feeling someone wrap their arms around her, but after a few minutes she relaxed into the hug. She slowly gathered herself enough to control her crying, comforted by King’s presence. He seemed to know just what to say to calm her down. A small smile creeped its way up her face as she squeezed King’s hands with her own. “Thank you, king.” She whispered before giving the little dog a peck on the cheek.

King’s cheeks burned a bright red as he broke the embrace and backed up a few steps. “N-No p-p-problem, Sasha. Anytime.” He managed to stammer out. He gently touched his cheek as he turned around and walked back to Fox, who had a mischievous grin on his face, despite the circumstances. “Nice job, lady killer. We ought to make you the official comfort dog of the GODC,”

King’s scowl returned as he retorted “ Har, har. Very funny, Fox. I got her calmed down, so now it’s time for you to work your magic. Hurry up, cause I want to know who did this to her!”

Even though King said that last sentence flatly, Fox couldn’t help but feel a little worried by it. He dropped his grin and exchanged it for a more sympathetic look as he walked to the German shepherd. “Sasha,” Fox started in his most serious tone. “Can you please tell us what happened? We want to help.”

Sasha cast down her eyes to hide the tears that had started to well up again as she remembered what happened between her and Bino. “B-Bino and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood,” she started strongly, though a distinct tremor was easily heard in her voice. “An-And we were talking about…” she glanced at King for a second before looking back at the ground, “Someone, when he went off on one of his rants. You know what I mean, Fox?” She looked up at him, with big tears welling up in her eyes.

He gave her a somber nod. Fox knew what Bino was like during his rants. “I understand, Sasha, go on…”

“Well, he br….he br…. He broke up with me!” She was only barely able to stop herself from crying that time. She took some deep breaths and relaxed for a few seconds before starting up again “That wasn’t even the worst part! He said that my Dad doesn’t love me! He may forget to feed me sometimes, and maybe he locks me out a little, and maybe he punishes me, but only if I deserve it! Daddy loves me, I know it! He…He has to!” Sasha lost it at this point and she began to cry as hard as she was when King had first heard her.

Fox was shocked. He couldn’t believe what he had heard. Bino had actually told Sasha that her own Dad didn’t like her!? That was over the line even for him. Everyone knew about Sasha’s dad, but for Bino to throw it in her face like that was unforgivable. Fox was ready to rip Bino a new body orifice when Sasha’s loud sobs brought him back to earth. Fox kneeled beside her and awkwardly patted her shoulder for a few minutes trying to calm her down like King, but wasn’t having much success. Desperate he turned to King, who until now had been silently listening behind the husky. “Uh King? Would you mind worki…?” He stopped dead when he saw King’s face.

The usual scowl that the corgi was famous for was gone, replaced with what could only be described as forced neutrality. It was as if his face were made of wax, the only feature showing emotion of any kind being the eyes. His eyes were enough for Fox’s ears to go back and force a whimper to involuntarily escape his mouth. They were emanating an insane amount of rage that projected itself out into an aura of pure hatred. He was the very image of wrath, and Fox wanted to run.

“Fox. Take care of Sasha. I’m going to have a little chat with Bino…” King said quietly in restrained tones. He began to slowly walk away, not even looking back at the pair.

“King, Wait! I don’t think it’s a good idea to” Fox was stopped by a withering glance king shot back at him. It was more effective than a knife being thrown at the husky.

“Goodbye, Fox. Just take care of Sasha. I’ll be right back…” King repeated before turning a corner, leaving Fox to take care of a rather upset Sasha.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:09 am

valerio

Game Master

Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 amPosts: 19016Location: Italy

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

King of Hearts + Showdown = TOTAL AWESOMENESS!!!!ooo, I'm so gonna LOVE this!

_________________

Thu Feb 24, 2011 2:26 am

ChristopherJackal

Joined: Thu Sep 30, 2010 10:44 pmPosts: 463

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

Sick em King! Bino so deserves it, he's kind of a jerk! Going to be an epic showdown!

No biggie, that must mean that peanut and king have some actual interaction! Which as far as i know hasn't even happened in the canon comic yet

_________________

Bino Wrote:

I don't have any tricks up my sleeve right now that don't involve roleplaying... So...... *kisses sleet* BOOM! I WIN!

Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:46 am

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

Nope, it sure hasn't happened yet.

On a side note, there is a reason the updates are short. I am jumping around, so to keep everything clear, I am posting them one at a time. It is almost over, though, so longer updates will come when the setup is over with. Shouldn't be more than three or four more updates until that happens.

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

I don't have any tricks up my sleeve right now that don't involve roleplaying... So...... *kisses sleet* BOOM! I WIN!

Sun Feb 27, 2011 3:48 pm

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: A Housepets' Christmas Carol

Ugh, this did not come out right. Please tell me if you see anything too out there.

Christmas is a big day for every pet. As the days tick away toward the inevitable, the level of excitement pets felt steadily grew. Now, on Christmas Eve, that excitement became unbearably high. The wonder of the day to come, and the promise of a mountain of boxes under the tree made even the most stoic pet boil over with unbridled joy. This enthusiasm for what was to come drove every pet in Babylon Gardens outside to burn all of their excess energy.

The laughter, screeching, barking, and hissing that the animals made while playing rose into a cacophony of sound that seemed to permeate the very air only adding to the aura of enthusiasm that surrounded the neighborhood. It seemed that no pet was left untouched by the coming day. But there was one exception to this mania. A single dog was trudging his way down the street toward his final destination. This dog was cofounder of the GODC, star athlete of the neighborhood, K9 first officer, and all around nice guy. It was Fido.

Fido had just gotten off his last shift with the K9 unit for the season, and had dropped off his little mouse friend to spend Christmas Eve with his girlfriend, Sabrina. Now he just wanted to go home and sleep for a few hours before he spent the night with his dad, doing their annual Christmas traditions. Now he just needed to get there. As he passed by, every dog, and most of the cats shouted greetings and tidings for the holidays. Fido just put on a weary smile and repeated the same tiding of Merry Christmas to every pet who wished him the same. It was the only thing he could do, being too nice to ignore them.

He continued on his way, oblivious to the world until his ears caught another shouted salutation, at which point he would snap out of it just long enough to respond before sinking back into his own world. Almost there, Fido. Just one more street… Fido’s tail wagged slightly at the thought of finally getting home. He was so preoccupied that he didn’t even realize that he was running straight into another dog. A dog that he really didn’t want to see at the moment.

There was a sudden jolt as the two dogs collided, each falling to the ground with their hands rubbing their foreheads. Fido was a little dazed as he looked into the face of his brother. “Ow...Oh, hello Bino. Merry Christmas.” Fido said the first thing that came to his mind.

“Merry Christmas!? You knock your own brother down on Christmas Eve and that’s all you can think to say!?” Bino cried out, fuming.

“Oh yeah, Bino. Sorry about that. Heh,heh. I guess I was a little preoccupied.” Fido said with a little chuckle.

“You know what? Never mind… I am in too good a mood today, and there is nothing you can do to ruin it.” The grin that had been on his face before the collision returned full force. He looked like a fox just after a good kill.

That sudden diffusion of the situation caught Fido off-guard. He thought he would be stuck arguing with Bino for a while before anything like that happened. It didn’t feel right to him. “What put you in such a good mood?” Fido asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh, not much” Bino replied with a slight chuckle, “I just had a little chat with that cat lover Peanut Butter Sandwich.”

Now Fido was getting worried. He knew that the only time Bino even acknowledged Peanut’s existence was when he made fun of him. “Bino… What did you do to Peanut?”

“Me!? I didn’t do a thing to him other than talk.” Bino’s eyes narrowed as he let out a bout of laughter that made Fido’s skin crawl. “It was a rather productive meeting. Very enjoyable, I must say. Now if you’ll excuse me, Fido, I really must go. I do need to talk with you and the other Board Members of the GODC after the Christmas Party tomorrow. We need to discuss a matter concerning some very interesting comics I found.” He stepped around Fido and walked away, laughing to himself as he went.

“Wha-? Comics…?” Fido was dumbfounded by Bino’s statement. He just stood there for a few minutes before his weary mind clicked back on, and the obvious realization hit him, making him run as fast as he could toward the home of another dog.

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