not so 'quiet' time and motherhood

I'm awake. Sitting at the desk with the lamp on and Levi is sleeping not 10 feet away. In our bed... you know where I said he'd never sleep ha. Between the crib boycott and the busy evening schedules, this morning is the first real amount of "quiet" time in several weeks. Not that I haven't got to read my Bible or pray. Just that it's usually with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse going in the background and at least 3 of the 20+ noise making toys beeping or singing. And I love it that way.

The me who used to love to sit and study the Word and journal for long periods of time sometimes rises up wondering if that will ever be my life again. It's easy for even well-intentioned conversations to make me feel like I'm not doing enough spiritually during this time. While out running errands the other day, Joel began chatting about this book on Spiritual Disciplines he's reading through with some guys. He was sharing the excitement he had that one guy was really starting to get that he needed to get up early and be alone to get the most out of his quiet time. (Any other mom's out there just feel that punch?) Tears started welling up in my eyes as I continued to try to listen. My half-laughing, half-crying caught Joel's attention and he stopped the story to hear my thoughts....

"I was so thrilled just to take a shower today in peace."

Realizing that I might not be the best person to share in the excitement with him, he started to trying to ease the gap. Recognizing this is season I'll probably be in for years and understanding that this is not really a possible reality for me right now.

He wasn't for a second trying to put down my time with the Lord... and I knew that. And even though I love this season more than

{This is far as I got before little man woke up... 1 hr later and we're back at it.}

As I was saying... I love this season more than any other I've ever been in. But even still, Satan loves to use random conversations right now to make me feel inadequate even when that was never the intention of the conversation. But that's all Satan... not God.

So sometimes it's only a few verses and sometimes I get interrupted 5 times. I pray with my eyes open or while Levi is sleeping on me. It's not what most would consider "ideal quiet time" but it is mom life and I love it.

I love that I don't have to be in a set spot with set music and all just so to commune with the Lord.

I love that quiet time doesn't have to be quiet...

can we name it something else anyways?

So why do I share this? Because maybe you (like I did for a few months) keep waiting to have a time to sit down and have that perfect intimate quiet time that you used to have. Maybe you keep waiting on it to be "just so" before you pull out your Bible. I know I did. But here's what I'm finding... God can use it to speak to you. No matter the length or the time or the interruptions... He can use it.

CONVERSATION

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about me

Hi there! I'm Brandy, the writer and photographer here at A Sweet Aroma. I hope you find this space to be one of encouragement at transparency as I blog and photograph my way through this beautiful life.