Friday, May 15, 2015

I should start by saying I’m a neat freak, so
when I receive an editorial letter from my super smart agent, my immediate
reaction is filled with anxiety. I don’t like when things are messy and I want
to hide all of this messiness in the bottom of a trashcan. Honestly, I picture
throwing my manuscript into my blue recycling bin and never looking at it
again.

This, as it turns out, is my work as a writer. To
see that mistakes aren’t really mistakes, instead they are indicators of where
I can dig deeper.

However, as I begin to dig deeper, I feel vulnerable
and because I feel vulnerable, I have a tendency to rush through a rewrite. I
cut out entire scenes with one swipe of the delete key and I quickly write new
scenes just to fill the missing space. This technique does not work for me!
When I rush, I end up with a story that is hollow.

So how do I keep from rushing? The moment I get
an editorial letter, I remind myself I’m grateful for the feedback. Then I step
away from the computer. I let myself feel uncomfortable. And, I wait. I do not
go anywhere near my manuscript! During this waiting period, which usually takes
a few days, the notes begin to move from my head and into my heart.

Here are a few things I tell myself while I’m
waiting.

I will listen.

I will trust my process.

I will not throw my manuscript in the trash.

I also have this sentence tacked above my desk. I
look at it everyday.