Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Joy of Parenthood

My wife and I just became new parents.Having tried to have babies for years and spending tens of thousands just to be told we would not be able to experience the joy of having our own biological children. We started a foster adopt program. Completing the twelve-week training classes and getting our certification the last step for us was for me to get a fingerprint clearance card, which the state would ultimately refuse me. Feeling this was our last option, we gave up giving in to the fact that it was going to be just us. As we love each other, very much we both felt like we had more love to give but it just wasn't going to happen. Than one day out of the blue we were at the hospital for an unrelated problem so we thought, our nurse comes in and tells us we were pregnant. As you can imagine we were both stunned. Our new little one is now one month old and we couldn't be happier. Its funny you hear how it is the most joy you'll ever feel when your child is born. I'm not sure I even came close to understanding that before. Not even threw most of her birth did I feel it, Hell I was to busy thinking to myself "don't pass out" but when my little girl popped out and I saw her perfect little face for the first time. I don't even have the words in fact I don't think I said a word. I cried as embarrassing as it was I couldn't help it.

The joys of parenthood my ass between the migraine and the lack of sleep this child has reduced me to a little more than a quivering heap of man goo. I get up in the morning feed her, lucky to feed myself than start praying that in the next 4 hours she doesn't start screaming. Come on parents you know what I'm talking about that scream that just breaks your heart at the same time you want to break the child. It’s a rather conflicting feeling I know. if you get through it without the screaming than your scared to death that she’s going to pull something down on herself. The only thing that scares me more than her hurting herself is the wrath of her mother when she gets home and discovers the knot that she acquired on her head on your watch.Id probably wake up the next morning with a couple of my very own. So anyways I have to get up every 6.2 seconds to pick her up because she’s either terrorizing the dogs or she’s trying to put forks in the electrical outlets lol. At this point it’s about 10 10:30 and she’s rubbing her eyes which should be a sign that she’s tired and will need to take a nap soon. Something you will never do again. So you put her down in the crib and listen to her shriek like some wild thing is tearing her apart for no more than 5 minutes. If she doesn't stop in that very long 5 minute window your right back to picking her up every 6.2 seconds. In the odd circumstance she does go to sleep your having a great day otherwise when the blessed time for you to take her to daycare that you pay way too much for comes around your exhausted and now it’s time for you to go to work at about 12:30. The weekends aren't much better the weekends are the days you and the wife are thinking to yourselves why is he/she just sitting there. Am I going to have to get up again? I thought it was his/her turn. So you sit there thinking cruel and unusual thoughts about your spouse. That's when you can actually put together a real thought over the screaming or the picking her up every 6.2 seconds. By the end of the weekend you’re looking forward to going to work exhausted or not just to Rayne your sanity back in. But now that I think of it there are some pretty great moment as well like when I go into her room to pick her up and she just gives me the biggest smile. You know the smile. The smile that would make you do anything for her even lay down your own life. Or give up everything to be able to give her whatever her little heart needs and wants. Yep those times make it all worth it. Her first smile, the first time she’s able to hold her own bottle, the first time she crawls and then takes her first steps, her first words. Oh yes these moments don't seem like they would impact you quite like they do. Don't get me wrong I thought it would be special but I was completely underestimating how I would feel until those moments started happening and wow that little girl knocks me off my feet.