Monday, November 15, 2010

I took some flack for my facebook status a week or two back, the one that suggested that I may encourage my daughter to resort to violence. Me being the non-violent sort, the status took some people by surprise and offended the sensibilities of others. Oh dear. Let me explain what I was trying (badly!) to say:

You see, I have raised two very meek and mild daughters. I don't know quite how I managed that, but I think it may have something to do with the fact that I wanted my girls to be "nice" girls, so I raised them that way. Although Paula in particular has very firm opinions about things, she generally avoids confrontation at all costs. Rox is the most non-confrontational person I know, honestly, she is. I get much positive feed-back about how well-behaved and willing they both are. And that's nice.

BUT I am beginning to realise that "doing the right thing" is not always a "good thing". I think it's time these girls developed more back-bone than I have equipped them with. And that is what I was trying to get across in my rude status update!.

I've realised that teaching them to "turn the other cheek", to put up with nonsense (you see, I am trying not to curse anymore!) from other people, to always try to be kind and loving, even when the other person isn't..... all these lessons, drummed into them over the years, can somehow translate into them not standing up for themselves when they clearly should.

So in future, when someone is nasty to them I am going to encourage them to take a stand, instead of telling them to walk away and ignore it. They need to get the message that it's not okay for people to treat them badly and when people do, they need to come out "fighting"..... and no, I am not going to encourage them to go and give the perpetrator of the nastiness a "snotklap", really I am not!