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Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

I can relate to your concern; my son weighed just under 16 lbs at 12 months. I worried constantly, and agonized over what I should be doing. I talked to our pediatrician (numerous times lol), and when he was around 9 or so months old she offered to order labwork to make sure that he was getting what he needed nutritionally, but she was not concerned. (I was, because he had only gained a few ounces between his six- and nine-month checkups--but she pointed out that he had grown several inches and been working on lots of new things--scooting/crawling/sitting/that kind of thing.) We did the labwork and she was correct; he was fine, just growing on his own curve and in his own time. It sounds like you're really concerned--it might be worth a trip to the pediatrician to 1) rule out a problem, and 2) give you some peace of mind. My son has stayed on the small side, but is healthy and strong, just long and lean. He's five and a half now and weighs about 38 lbs.

Another thing I wondered about in reading your posts is how much you're getting out and about--when I am stuck indoors in one place for very long, I find that I start to worry--sometimes having a diversion helps. A change of scenery can be a powerful thing.

I hope you are able to find a way to manage your worry and enjoy nursing more.

Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

Originally Posted by @llli*blueberrysmom

Like I said, sometimes you just need someone to say "Hey, I get it, I've been there and you're NOT CRAZY. Everything will be okay." because I don't really get that from anyone around me. Since her next appt isn't until the end of November, I should probably just go in and get her weighed so I can see if she has put anything on. I know that she is burning a lot more cals crawling and climbing and all that. I'm assuming that's why I've been feeding her so often. I guess I am just having one of those cases of "why me? how come my baby can't fill up and then be okay for 3 hours?" I guess I'm just having a hard day. I didn't mean to come off so dramatic in my last post, I just feel like I've been dealing with this for so long and nothing seems to put my mind to rest!!

But saying this to you would be validating your feelings. And I don't think you are right. And every single person who responded to you on the first page had BTDT advice for you. We all have either had experience with small babies OR experience with our child dropping in percentiles after the 6months point. There is nothing unsupportive about telling you to calm down. Which judging from your 2nd post you REALLY need to do. Because if you are hearing things over the internet in our tone of writing that makes you cry I think it's clear your perception is skewed. And I would count you giving your child formula for no real reason other than you wish she was bigger is NOT OK. So I am not going to say that either.

Originally Posted by @llli*mommy2lilah

And IF the doctor says that everything is ok, and everyone in your family is saying that everything is ok, and you are the ONLY person that doesn't think that everything is ok, then you should probably seek counseling for yourself. There is no shame in it. You could switch to formula and my guess is that it will not make your baby fatten up - and then where will you be? You'll be anxious about that decision and everything that goes along with it.

Oh it might fatten her baby up. Junk food does that. If I take DJ to McDonalds every day I am pretty sure it'd beef him right up. It doesn't mean it's BETTER for her baby. Her baby has shown over the course of nine months of EBF what she is supposed to look like. Naturally.

Originally Posted by @llli*blueberrysmom

Haha you sound like a very laid back mama, and I sooo wish I was like that. My sister in law is like that too, she's a PA and so she's probably been the most helpful through all my woes. I guess I've been operating on this assumption that everyone else can "say it's okay" but how can they possibly know? They are with Keira for such a short period of time and see just a snippet of how she eats and acts. They can say "it's okay" but they don't have to wake up 4-5 a night to feed her - all their kids, either BF or FF, slept through the night at 4-6 months. They don't have to spend their days 2 ft away from the Boppy at all times like I do. Like I said before, that's why I come here to LLL because it's BFing mothers and odds are there is someone other than me who understands. I appreciate what everyone has said, and I hope that I can just pull it together and stick it out for as long as I can. I don't want to give up, because I know it's so good for her and so important )

So what is it you are looking for? Everyone who says don't worry you don't believe. But I have a feeling that if among ALL of the evidence to the contrary if you get ONE
doctor to say he's concerned about how small she is then you will say "SEE! I TOLD YOU!" But if he agrees with your family and everyone here than it's "How could you possibly know?" Factually there is NOTHING better for your baby than for you to breastfeed. Especially now. Especially after you have made it this far. We KNOW you make enough milk because you have been doing it for 9 months. We all have been up with our babies all night. That is par for the course. It's not easy. But you clearly have been doing your homework. So you know what it is. You know what you pump is no indicator of how much milk you make. How did you expect it to go? I am not sure what your expectations were about breastfeeding and mothering. I would hate to see your child have to give up your calorie rich milk that is tailor made for her because of your self doubt.

Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

Originally Posted by @llli*blueberrysmom

I definitely had many, many different ideas about parenting. I think I just expected to have what I thought to be a "normal" baby, who BF every 2 hours, then slowly stretched to 3, then 4 then had solids. At 12 lbs or 4 months slept through the night. One that hung around 50%, or even 25%. NONE of this has happened! But I guess I can't expect things to go the "normal" way all the time. I hear what you are saying about almost wanting something to be wrong with Keira. I assure you that I don't, I just want to do everything humanly possible to make sure she is growing and healthy. I am very well versed in self-doubt. When the pedi hands you formula before your milk even comes in 3 days after giving birth, it's not something you let go of easily - the notion that your baby's weight is the most important indicator of health. It's almost a crime that I spend so much time worrying about this issue, but it sounds like I have to just let it go before I really go off the deep end. Thanks for all the tough love, I hope I didn't offend anyone by being dramatic.

You're doing fine. Worry...that's just part of being a mom. Its one more thing you have to learn to manage so you don't drive yourself insane. I have a kid with health issues. Believe me, I understand the worry is always going to be there, but it doesn't have to consume you. That's not healthy for either of you. So just keep reminding yourself that you're doing fine, a small baby can still be a healthy baby, stay vigilant, but don't worry, and if you truly feel like something might be wrong, take her to the doctor.

“We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
--Anonymous

Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

It sounds to me like there are two things going on here: 1)You are worried about your daughter's growth. Everyone here has already given great advice about this, and it truly does sound like she's fine, but you should take her to the doctor if you're concerned. 2)You are finding the demands of breastfeeding and mothering to be tough and not what you anticipated. I just want to validate this part and say yes, it is hard to be up 4 or 5 times per night. I don't think anyone MEANS to be unempathic when they say you should consider yourself lucky it's not more than that, but it might be coming across that way to you. It is really, really hard to be up so many times at night, especially if you have to work the next day. We all know that. We've all been there. I'm not going to tell you you're lucky your daughter is 'only' up 4 or 5 times a night because my son was up 6 or 7 times a night at that age. It's hard. Really really hard. When I was going through that, it wrecked my mood, my concentration, and really hurt my marriage. Hearing about how 'lucky' I was that he would sometimes sleep 3 hours at a stretch would NOT have been helpful to me while I was in the middle of that, even if some other moms did have it worse. So I will validate for you that yes, it's hard. It sounds like you also find the frequent feeding during the daytime to be tough and emotionally taxing, in part because it ties you to being at home since you're not that comfortable nursing in public. Personally, I didn't mind the frequent feeding because I've always enjoyed breastfeeding, but you are far from the first or only woman to feel that way. However, it is really quite normal for babies to nurse every hour or two all the way through the first year. My son is almost one and still nurses every hour or two while we're together, though he can go three hours if we're apart. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your baby because she likes to nurse frequently, and it doesn't indicate she's not getting enough. That's not to say it's not mentally and physically taxing for you, or that your distress doesn't count. Just that there isn't anything abnormal about it and doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your baby. I hope this helps some.

First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 38 months ; now trying to wean. for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

Originally Posted by @llli*blueberrysmom

Thanks to everyone who has offered me suggestions and comforting words. I really do appreciate it.

That's all anyone here is trying to do. Support you. Remind you that you ARE doing it! You baby being a sweet pea is no reason to fret or quit. Please believe I find ZERO comfort in women who succumb to self doubt in the arena of breastfeeding.

Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

My boy is almost 9 months old and will weigh in around 15 pounds. He is always in the lowest percentile compared to the average American baby. I used to worry
about it, but not anymore. He eats like a champ and is very active. I figure my milk is very low in fatty content, even so, it's way more nutritious than formula.
I also struggle with the sanity thing - I work outside the house and I have to physically leave my work 3 times each day to pump. It's very tiring!
I'm sorry I don't have any good advice for you. If you haven't seen a lactation consultant, I'd recommend seeing one if you are still worried.

Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

My daughter started out around 50% but kept moving down on the charts. They are just charts. I did not stress about her weight. Although some peds did, others in teh practice didn't. All babies are different. My son is bigger and he's 14 months now, he had a long period (several months!) where he did not gain anything. This is typical around 9m or so in a BF baby. Once they start moving around, they stop filling out and he has gained length instead of lbs.

I have seen a true Failure to thrive baby in real life and you can SEE the difference. You can SEE that they are starving and not getting enough milk.

Proud mom of 2:
DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

Hi blueberrysmom,
I'm new here so not as knowledgeable as other mums on the fine art of breastfeeding but I have had a little girl on the 8% and I used to worry thinking my milk wasn't good enough but looking back I know it was just a lie breast is best. Saying that though you sound like your not having a great time, being stuck at home and the only one who feeds baby can really take it out of you. I had a touch of post p depression and it made me worry about everything! I was always on the verge of tears. I think your doing a brilliant job, how about getting baby weighed and maybe a check up for you too, it's always good to talk x

Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

I read this thread because the title and then the content seemed to describe my current situation: first time mother, 9 months old baby with low weight, BFing continously, sanity - you can check my older posts... Oh yes. It is so difficult to analyze your feelings, to ignore your expectations, to just enjoy motherhood. I am a she-devil sometimes simply because I don't get enough sleep - my baby wakes me up to BF 4-5 times every night... But then it happens that I am able to remember how much I love her and how much she needs me now, how much she still has to learn, she's so little, she doesn't know anything about adult frustrations and worries... Like the ones you are having now. Tell yourself that this too shall pass, and try to enjoy your baby as much as you can. Soon she won't be a baby anymore, and you will even miss these days!
All the best,
Y.