What Does it Mean if my Partner Needs a Vibrator?

A couple of months ago the internet was all abuzz (pun intended) over a plea for advice sent by a boyfriend, about his girlfriend, to The Guardian. The gentleman in question was concerned because after sex his girlfriend would hustle him off to take a shower and, while he was gone use a vibrator on herself. The author of the letter was concerned that his girlfriend was “insatiable”. The incredibly diplomatic response to this letter offered the explanation that the girlfriend was so aroused she wanted a second orgasm… the internet was less generous, pointing out that the girlfriend may be coming away from their sex unsatisfied and taking matters into her own hands. So, what does it mean if your partner needs a vibrator?

The simplest answer here may also be the one most rooted in truth: if your partner needs a vibrator in addition to the sex you share, the reason may be that vibration is the stimulation that works for them. This is not a critique of the sex you are having, nor is it a flaw in your partner, it’s just what works for them. The problematic idea of vibrators “replacing” human partners can lead to a lot of alarm when it comes to partners who use toys but just remember, we all need different things, many people (especially female ones) struggle to figure out what works for them in terms of orgasm and they really don’t need extra pressure about that, and finally, human beings do not vibrate. So, if your partner needs a vibrator to orgasm, all it means is that vibration is the route to their orgasm and, you, as a non-vibrating human, shouldn’t feel threatened or upset.