Friday, February 7, 2014

An Alpha widow

I recently came across a photo of a sexy Brazilian man I had an affair with a few years ago. (OK, I Googled him.) [You
know a woman has a robust hamster when she tries to make her nostalgic
searching for photos sound like she just "came across" one.] When
I saw his sly smile and unruly black hair, I couldn’t help thinking
that, by comparison, my live-in boyfriend wasn’t quite as darkly
seductive or exciting. [Well, that's because he isn't! Alpha
widow anyone? Fuck phantoms* lurking in the dark? Notice how the hot
guy from her past still lurks in the dark shadows of her heart but she
settled for the stable nice guy. Changing lanes anyone? A certain
version of AFBB, perhaps?

*Fuck phantom--a phrase
coined by Bastiat Blogger: a man from a woman's sexual past who
lingers in her erotic memory, often the cause of intense longing, desire
and withdrawal symptoms]

I met the Brazilian in line for a film screening [...this guy sounds like the fuck phantom of the opera...] while visiting Manhattan from San Francisco. I was convinced I’d found my ideal man: intellectual, witty, artistic, and hot.
We spent a passionate week together, and when I left town, I thought I
was leaving behind a new long-distance boyfriend—one who, it turned out,
didn’t like to call or e-mail…ever. I thought our fling was the start
of a relationship; he thought it was a fling, period. [Typical
delusion where the man has clearly placed the woman on the fuck ladder
and she thinks she's on the relationship ladder. See this study where women fuck hotter men and where more women than men thought they were in a committed relationship while more men than women thought it was just sex.]

Disappointing, but it fit my usual pattern. [In the sphere we're quite familiar with this "usual pattern" of women hypergamously wanting the hot guy to commit but usually ending up as a fling.] I
would fall for a brilliant guy with an irresistible smile who never
quite fell for me but who possessed all the qualities I liked in a man: a
sense of humor, certified smarts, smoldering looks. Each time, these
men—dashing chefs, moody architects—would give me just enough attention
to keep me in their narcissistic orbit. Whether or not they’d ever call
was just part of the thrill, always keeping me on edge. Outwardly, I
told myself I was having fun and it was just a matter of time before
someone wanted to settle down; inside, I started to worry that I wasn’t
lovable or exciting enough.

[Notice how she would fall for guys that wouldn't fall for
her. Of course, she hamsters out and accuses them of being jerks and
narcissists. Maybe they were but more than likely they were men that
could get hotter and nicer women than her and so of course they would
only view her as fling material. Regardless of how outsiders would rank
this woman and her fuck-fellows, in the only market that matters,
namely the market of HIM and HER, her relationship value in his eyes was
far below his value in her eyes and thus he never commits. And since
there's a recurring pattern here, it's easy to conclude that she is a
habitual hypergamous chaser, always trying to catch the man of her
dreams. And notice how she thinks she's oh so close and that just next
time the brooding, spontaneous hotty will finally fall in love with her.

Then she worries about whether she's lovable
enough. Well, let me tell you this straight out. No, you're not
lovable enough to the men you're choosing. They only see you on the
fuck ladder, not on the love-and-marriage ladder. This is one of the
hardest red pill truths that the more hypergamous half of women have to
confront: the man you can get to commit to you will nearly always be
less hot, exciting or famous than the man you can get to fuck you.

And another important point is that you will feel low self esteem when you get flinged and flung, elated and deflated, pumped and dumped.
When your expectations are too high then you will feel that you're not
good enough...but this isn't just a feeling, it's the cold, hard truth
of the morning walk of shame. The actual truth is that you simply aren't
"good enough" in the hot bad boy's eyes or the successful "perfect"
guy's to induce his commitment.]

Of course, this woman not a cliche. Her behavior is a common phenomenon that is a consequence of unrestrained female hypergamy combined with a sexually feral society. And its results are easily anticipated.

You know, if I, a hick from the sticks, traveled to New Yawk City and were standing in line for a Broadway show (God forbid), and some dazzling, out-of-my-league, exotic sexpot came up and started hitting on me, I'd be looking around for the candid cameras. Or I'd wonder if she were a high-class prostitute looking for a mark. The last thing I'd assume is that I just hit the jackpot, so time to start picking out china.

And then she admits it's a pattern. So it's not just that she got fooled once, but she keeps spreading her legs for men who obviously are just in her for the sex. You know, one time when I was pretty young and very blue-pill I bought something expensive for a girl who turned out to be a gold-digger. I didn't do that again. Sheesh.

they exist? they're the rule, not the exception. the ones that focus on their partner instead of past cads, the ones that are faithful in their mind as well as reality, the ones that are sincerely nice and sincerely like nice guys-- those are the rarities to the point of near extinction. but they're the only ones worth working for. the rest are for release and that's about it.

To be fair Cail, women are wired differently. They're the ones who are biologically supposed to wait for a guy to ask. The real question would be, if you saw some hot sexpot standing in line and you hit on her and she said okay, would you be skeptical?

But anyway, reading this, guys still in the dating scene have one take (avoid being Pete), but guys like me with daughters have a different take - how do we avoid having our little girls end up like Laura Fraser? I also have a son, and it seems like a much more straight-forward process for helping him avoid growing up to be Pete, because the Red Pill is all bonus for him. But girls... in today's society you've got to get past all the short-time-preference garbage they get hit with and that preys on their weaknesses.

But speaking of hypergamous women in blue-pill society (especially around women) makes me feel very much like when Bill Burr talked about gold-digging whores and bigfoot, and to paraphrase him:

There is an epidemic of hypergamous sluts in this country. And every night, I put on the news and I'm waiting for someone to address it! Every night, never see it. Every night I talk about hypergamous sluts and the whole crowd pulls back like I'm talking about Bigfoot. Like I'm saying the Moon is made of cheese or something. I'm talking about hypergamous sluts, people! They're everywhere! How many? How many more average men are going to be ignored before we do something?

I realize it may sound like I'm railing against female nature. But that's really not it. I understand that women have the impulse to jump in the sack with "the Brazilian," just as I have the impulse to buy pretty things for a hot chick to try to get her to like me. But somewhere along the way people warned me about things like gold-diggers, and when I forgot those teachings I learned from my mistakes. I realize society no longer warns women against this kind of behavior, but she had to read/hear plenty of sob stories from women who put themselves through the same thing. I mean, there's a whole set of stereotypes built around the idea of the "Italian painter" who nails American tourists left and right, and jokes about how it "doesn't count" when you're on vacation. This woman didn't even make it out of the country.

The key here seems to be a compete inability to learn, from either evidence or experience. Is that just part of female nature too? My guess is that it's not, that the problem here isn't an inability to learn, but an unwillingness. This woman wanted these experiences. Yes, she also wanted one of these men to stick around, but I'll bet if you asked her whether she'd rather have had these experiences as-is, or still be a virgin, she wouldn't switch.

Abundance. That is the problem. You see it in athletes - they have so much money and fame that they end up killing themselves or someone else. You see it in the wealthy - they buy so much that they eventually buy things that they don't even need and sometimes even forget that they bought. Or buy people.

Some women know that they can "get" just about any man of just about any SMV and so they do.

The athletes eventually spend themselves into bankruptcy or end up in prison. The wealthy and famous overdose or end up in rehab or washed up.

Women end up trying to hide the N count and convincing a nice guy that they really do win in the end. (uh...win what?)

Her condition isn't incurable; however the only men able to' treat' it are the ones with no real incentive to do so.

For example, if you're George Clooney you can get Stacy Keibler to forget about all the wrestling stars she spent her youth partying with. But, if you're George Clooney, you can also leave Stacy for someone younger and prettier whenever you feel like it...

swiftfoxmark2 said... : It is a moral imperative to have our daughters remain virgins until they are married and to marry them in their late teens or early twenties.

There was a reason our forefathers regarded 12 as being the age of consent. Puberty hits and the girls want to try out the equipment. So fathers married them off at 12-14 to guys 15-16.

The enforced lengthening of childhood to young adulthood of 18 or more is a dysfunction of liberal society (see John Taylor Gatto). And yes, girls were ready to be wives and mothers at that age. But then they were taught to be; not allowed to be basically worthless for anything other than a pump and dump during their prime years.

Another big difference between oneitis guys and alpha widows is that the latter go on to date, sleep with and sometimes marry other men while still carrying torches for the alphas from their pasts, while the guy with oneitis won't get much of anything from women until he finally gets over THE ONE. That's because men are the pursuers in the mating dance, and a man who's despondent over a lost love isn't going to have the motivation to seek out the companionship of new women. Even when he tries to, his depression and overall poor attitude will more likely kill his chances of success, until he snaps out of it. While a broken-hearted alpha widow will still be pursued by plenty of men, so those opportunities for sex, dates, and relationships will be there for her in ways that they are not there for men with oneitis.

Dexter, it's not the same thing. A man may pine somewhat for the one that got away (how "intensely" is questionable), but it generally doesn't affect his ability to bond with another woman the way it affects an alpha widow.

If a man marries a woman who's not as hot or as fun in bed as some he had before, that may reduce his enthusiasm for sex a bit, but he's still going to want it (or he wouldn't have married her) and he'll still be able to perform. If she gets fitter to be hotter and works on her techniques to make it more fun for him, he'll become more enthusiastic. Not so for the alpha widow, who may desire no sex at all with the new man and prefer that he not try to improve it, because that would threaten her bond with the "dead" alpha.