Oh, gentlemen, perhaps I really regard myself as an intelligent man only because throughout my entire life I’ve never been able to start or finish anything... Every man has some reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends. He has others which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself, and that in secret. But finally there are still others which a man is even afraid to tell himself...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Chaos

Chaos. That's what this life is, following a pattern that we just don't want to accept. We're so insistent on seeing a pattern in our minds that we forget that it only happens in our head. We only read in books about the good endings and the great logic of a story, but we see a section of a story, we don't know what's before and what's after. Life's pattern is chaotic but we continue to seek a non existent justice and we have a non existent sense of fairness. Our idea of fairness and justice is linear, sort of discrete where one end should weigh like the other. Why do we insist on seeing things differently? Because of those very rare times in life that things have turned out like we see in books?

3 comments:

Stop being cynical, it doesn't do you good!"We only read in books about the good endings and the great logic of a story, but we see a section of a story, we don't know what's before and what's after."

Whatever we *can* read in books in partly true, partly fictional. If people write for two reasons, one is to document, and one is to dream, then that means dreams of logical answers and happy endings is definitely not from fiction.

Wishing for logical answers and happy endings -let's call it a scheme- is, indeed, most fair. A scheme is what made people settle next to rivers, and that's not fictional, that's real.

A scheme for life, a safe life, a happy ending, a logical answer, the overall good...all of these things are not wishful thinking, or maybe they are a collective wishful thinking which makes them no less true that streets and clouds and yourself, even!

There's definitely a pattern and it should tell you something. There's such a thing as "recurrent themes" that you can take out of literature put in your own life and that's a pattern. When you study a certain kind of science you see a pattern to how some people went on discovering a certain something, and that's quite real!

There's only chaos when there're no facts. Even falsified facts set a kind of scheme and pattern that is to be understood. One thing human beings do very often, though, is project their image on the whole image of life. I'm sad; life is sad. I'm happy; life is amazing and that's partly what you're saying but I can sense that it's also partly what you're doing!

Well, it could be that you see it as chaos because you don't know what is still to come.

Besides, we only see what we want to see, or whatever we are more inclined to seeing. What you see as chaos, might seem like a chain of related events to another person who is looking for that.

What tells you that you're not projecting your predispositions on what you're seeing, and accordingly forming this point of view?

I personally think it's organized chaos. Like looking at a very detailed mosaic at a very close distance. It seems like randomly placed coloured squares next to each other. But when you step back, you can see the big picture.

Thank you ladies, your comments have fortified my post, displaying how people hold on to some sort of reason and logic in a world that often offers none.

But one thing is worth clarifying, that I'm not mercurial I don't say life is sad when I'm sad or life is happy when I'm happy. I say life is life at all times. As a matter of fact I was happy when I wrote the post. I'm happy to accept life for what it is rather than a fairy tale notion that offers most people nothing but disappointment.

I can provide some questions about events to which no one can provide a suitable answer, and if we can't acknowledge that, it's just denial.

The point is that we measure fairness by a skewed scale that exists in our heads and not in the world.. Sure it's organized.. could make sense, but perhaps just not to most of us.. The sooner we can accept this, the better off we will be.

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Love

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”