Category Archives: children

“Reverse psychology is often used on children due to their high tendency to respond with reactance, a desire to restore threatened freedom of action. Some parents feel that the best strategy is sometimes “reverse psychology”: telling children to stay in the house when you really want them to choose to go outside and play’.” – Wikipedia

Now let start by saying that I haven’t had much to say about the murder of Trayvon Martin. People have asked me to blog about it and I’ve said no. I really think that this tragedy is not going to end well at all. I think that due to the Stand Your Ground law in Florida that George Zimmerman has a good chance of getting off Scott free. That really disturbs me. So much so that I really haven’t wanted to deal with the fact that the whole situation screams Pre-Civil Right era America. An America that I can’t stand.

For me, the solution is not simply justice for Trayvon and his family. The answer is that this law and others like it are changed so that they can’t be used as a defense for anyone (regardless of color or creed) who shoots and kills an unarmed person. Justice in this situation not going to resolve institutionalized racism in America, so I’m not looking for that. Yes, there was profiling…but our legal system makes that hard to prove without someone shouting “I’ll kill you, N-word” before they shoot into a crowd of witnesses.

That brings me to what I “kinda” agree with Ann Coulter on. Laws like Stand Your Ground should be repealed and I think that I know how that can happen. Black people may have to model the behavior that we want to see stopped.

Coulter: We are going to have a trial, but I was just making the point that if what [MSNBC] is claiming happened — that George Zimmerman stalked this young black child just because he was black, shot him dead in cold blood — if that’s the case, well, the reaction isn’t the conclusion they’re coming to on the left which is oh, we need more gun control. Gun control laws have been used historically, they were — they were to keep guns out of the hands of blacks and it was the Republican Party and the NRA that has always supported arming blacks in order to protect themselves from the democratic Ku Klux Klan.

O’Reilly: All right so what you’re saying is if MSNBC and NBC News’s hypothesis is true that this was a racially biased driven murder, that all African-Americans should take that as a warning sign and arm themselves against that happening to them, therefore, they should support the NRA. They should support the law that gives, allows you to fight back if threatened, and they should arm themselves. That’s what you’re saying?

Here’s what I think: Black people should educate themselves about gun ownership and join the NRA. I’m not saying that African Americans should buy a gun and arm themselves. You can if you want to and you are eligible in your state, of course, but really I’m against gun ownership in most cases. However, I do think that the simple act of thousands of African Americans joining the National Rifle Association would alarm a LOT of people. It would give the impression that Blacks are arming themselves in mass. I think that the ripple effect would be more strict gun laws across the country. Thus, laws like Stand Your Ground would not be acceptable because a Black guy who would normally be locked up for shooting someone could go free. Now, you know we can’t have that America. We’re just about to privatize the prisons and we don’t want criminals going free, right.

I’m not really serious, but you know I’m right. If you know anything about the Black Pathers and their use of guns, you know I’m right. They openly displayed shotguns and encouraged members to carry weapons to protect themselves. They were pioneers in the pro-gun movement. You think that didn’t have anything to do with their demise?

“Opposition to gun control was what drove the black militants to visit the California capitol with loaded weapons in hand. The Black Panther Party had been formed six months earlier, in Oakland, by Huey Newton and Bobby Seale. Like many young African Americans, Newton and Seale were frustrated with the failed promise of the civil-rights movement. Brown v. Board of Education, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and the Voting Rights Act of 1965 were legal landmarks, but they had yet to deliver equal opportunity. In Newton and Seale’s view, the only tangible outcome of the civil-rights movement had been more violence and oppression, much of it committed by the very entity meant to protect and serve the public: the police.

Inspired by the teachings of Malcolm X, Newton and Seale decided to fight back. Before he was assassinated in 1965, Malcolm X had preached against Martin Luther King Jr.’s brand of nonviolent resistance. Because the government was “either unable or unwilling to protect the lives and property” of blacks, he said, they had to defend themselves “by whatever means necessary.” Malcolm X illustrated the idea for Ebony magazine by posing for photographs in suit and tie, peering out a window with an M-1 carbine semiautomatic in hand. Malcolm X and the Panthers described their right to use guns in self-defense in constitutional terms. “Article number two of the constitutional amendments,” Malcolm X argued, “provides you and me the right to own a rifle or a shotgun.”

Guns became central to the Panthers’ identity, as they taught their early recruits that “the gun is the only thing that will free us—gain us our liberation.” They bought some of their first guns with earnings from selling copies of Mao Zedong’s Little Red Book to students at the University of California at Berkeley. In time, the Panther arsenal included machine guns; an assortment of rifles, handguns, explosives, and grenade launchers; and “boxes and boxes of ammunition,” recalled Elaine Brown, one of the party’s first female members, in her 1992 memoir. Some of this matériel came from the federal government: one member claimed he had connections at Camp Pendleton, in Southern California, who would sell the Panthers anything for the right price. One Panther bragged that, if they wanted, they could have bought an M48 tank and driven it right up the freeway. – Article in The Atlantic | Adam Winkler

Am I kidding? I’m not totally serious, but you see my point. Sometimes humor is good, because you have to laugh to keep from crying. Sometime you have to show people their actions by modeling them back before they truly see how much they are in error.

I haven’t been writing as much as I should. I’m going to try to correct that in the new year. Anywhoo, a lot is going on these days, so I’m going to start posting some random thoughts and I’m sure expound on some of these later.

1. Why does it always take so long for organizations to recognize that their employees are pedophiles? Priests, football coaches, teachers, etc can all be seen with young boys and young women in compromised ways but yet no one sees or tells until the person is dead or more than 50 years old?

2. Herman Cain never had a chance. Really. If America is shocked by the turn of events that lead to him leaving the race, then our school systems really are failing us.

3. There was an uproar from women’s orgs and birth control supporters about the sale of Plan B contraceptives to teens being blocked. I need NOW, Planned Parenthood and all the other orgs that spoke out to be just as vocal about STDs like AIDS. Get on the bandwagon for a cure people. Sure, a teen could get pregnant and need Plan B or opt for an abortion, but there is not medical treatment or pill to get rid of HIV, HPV, etc. The issues are more complex than just birth control.

I didn’t get into the Casey Anthony Trial too much. I thought it was a tragedy on many different levels, and the media circus just turned me off. I cared, but there are hundred of children who are killed, molested, etc. everyday and no one is putting their stories on the cover of magazines, or dedicating whole broadcasts to their memory. American Hypocrisy…we’re all guilty.

If you say the defendant was a party girl, then you must have proof that will stand up against a whole gang of witnesses who say she was a good mother. You have to have proof. Remember. Law school and all. Sigh…

I believe the allegations of sexual molestation against George Anthony. I think the grandfather may have been touching Caylee. Don’t be fooled by old age and a suit people. I think some sick shit was going on that family. Casey needs some help. Remember victims are more prone to stay victims. Also, you never know what a woman will do to protect her child. Some slave women would rather kill their children than let them be taken. You think a woman who’d been molested and was mentally disturbed wouldn’t consider taking her child’s life instead of seeing her be abused?

Why are people even wondering what would have happened if she was black? This is not the O.J. Trail, people! There have been a lot of public cases of white women killing their kids. Some go to jail, some have gotten off on mental illness. This is not new. There is racism in America, and we know this. Thank goodness we didn’t have to witness a black family in this particular drama.

I think Nancy Grace has reached a new level of bitch-assed-ness? She is just a pundit for profit, in my opinion. I really don’t think she genuinely cares. Think of all the people she really could help. Nope, just a TV personality. I don’t know why people expect her to be on the level of a real lawyer who is practicing the law.

Finish this sentence for me, people: “Psychologists told Black People to stop spanking their kids and now…” You can leave a comment below.

Why do I ask? Crazy “youngins” on the metro this morning.

If you live in DC, you know that African-American kids can act a dignified fool on the metro trains. I blame this on the fact that many black parents stopped spanking their kids and strayed from the time-tested methods of discipline that worked for our foremothers and forefathers.

Do you think Martin Luther King was put in time out? Did Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis have to sit there and think about what they’d done…and then write a letter to their victim as punishment? I would venture to say that many a famous negro of yesteryear received proper spankings. I’m not talking extension cords, big wooden boards, and other out of the ordinary stuff. I’m not talking about anything that leaves bruises or welts. Spanking with a hand or belt, NOT beatings. You can disagree with me and if you think it’s abuse, you’re entitled to your opinion. As am I.

“Baby Momma” is not a job title. It should not be the period at the end of your life’s run-on sentence. I don’t care if your Baby Daddy is Lil Wayne and you’re standing at Rikers Island today with arms wide open and a fresh weave (all 3…I mean 4 of yall…I think…hell I don’t know how many chicks have had Lil Wayne’s kids!).

I know a whole lot of strong single moms out there who are not just “baby mommas”. They are working professionals, artists, spiritual sages, supportive friends, and so much more. I’m seeing a wave on TV and online (blogs mostly) where black women who have had babies by male stars are simply referred to as “So-in-so’s Baby Momma”. Not the “Girlfriend” or “Ex-girlfriend”. Not the “Mother of his child”. No acknowledgement of the fact that some of these women are stars in their own right, business owners, etc. I take issue with this because we live in an aspirational society where we see black girls striving to be video vixens. I’m talking “stand there and shake you butt” chicks, not I have a “M.F.A in Dance from Howard” professional dancers. (I can respect strippers more than video models because they have a regular gig and can work a 40 hour week.) Will young girls looking for acceptance and wanting the fame decide that being the “Baby Momma” of some notable man is the new route to stardom?

Just because you get a check doesn’t make it a job. Things happen. A lot of women are single moms, but most of the ones I know would not suggest someone take on that role in an effort to come up in the world. It’s not different than aspiring to win the lottery or play for the NBA…most that try won’t win and most try won’t play.

Other things that aren’t job titles:

BOSS – Said the way Fantasia’s brother says it. If you don’t have employees on a payroll, you’re not a boss

Jumpoff

Video Vixen – Not the same as a model

Rapper – If you are over the age of 40 and you’re not legend in the game. It could be a hobby, though.

9/23.2010 Update: A second photo (posted below) was made public since this post was sent out.

The bible says that thou who is without sin should cast the first stone. I wasn’t planning to cast any stones on a heap that is already big enough in the case of the alleged Bishop Eddie Long Scandal. And then I saw this photo posted by ABC News.

Um…really? Bathroom stall photo? Um…the people I know who take bathroom photos are in their twenties or teens. Why would Bishop Long send this photo to a young man? I don’t know about you, but if this was a series of photos, I would expect to see a penis in the photos. It’s a bathroom amateur photo session, so I don’t think that’s a stretch.

On the ABC News site the caption for the photo says…

“An undated photo provided by B.J. Bernstein, lawyer for Maurice Robinson and Anthony Flagg, allegedly shows Bishop Eddie Long, accused in a lawsuit of coercing Robinson and Flagg into a sexual relationship. Bernstein has promised that she has photos, texts and e-mails that show a relationship between her clients and the bishop.”

Today, a third accuser has come forward and Bishop Long is scheduled to do an interview tomorrow morning with Roland Martin. This doesn’t look good. I’m waiting to see more photos, voice mails, text messages…you know…Tiger Woods all over again. I’m not saying the man is guilty of the accusations but I’m not saying he’s innocent. He looks suspect to me in this photo. That’s what I’m saying.

Update 9/23: UH…this is looking even worse. The Daily Voice (via ABC NEWS) posted the full version of the photo above and this new picture of Bishop Eddie long in an Under Amour muscle shirt and tight biking shorts. Sigh!! I again I ask why would you send this type of photo to a young man for whom you are spiritual mentor. Were you doing P90X together?

I know black women who won’t swim because they might get their perm or weave wet.

I know black women who won’t let you borrow their keys or give you a place to stay for a week or two.

I know black women who would give you their last dime

I know black women who are so convincing, they could talk a leopard out of its spots.

I know black women who manage each dime of their paycheck like they are working for the Obama Administration and correcting the BS of the American banking system.

I know black women who are the coldest, most put together people on the planet.

I’ve seen black women overcome obstacles, handle their business, love like no other, help their communities, and carry the load. We can be opinionated, steadfast, loving, passionate, pushy and exacting. Even our errors are correct, as Nikki Giovanni might say. We are some of the strongest people on the planet and we often have to make some serious decisions. One of the toughest decisions can be who we share our bed with, our womb with. However, I know a LOT of women who have made a conscious decision to wait until they are married to conceive.

This is why I believe that the goal of the NO Wedding, NO Womb campaign is something that Black Women can really embrace. NWNW calls for WOMEN [and men] to put the needs of children first, and advocates that couples abstain from having children until they are emotionally, physically and financially able to care for them.

Is this about bashing single mothers? NO. Frankly I know a lot of single mothers who would happily embrace the concept that people should think long and hard about having a child out-of-wedlock. There are burdens and joys to being a single mom. I believe that most would not call it all roses.

Black women, we control access to our wombs. We carry the genes of slave foremothers who did not have choice when it came to reproduction, but have passed on their strength to us. WE can make a difference in our communities by embracing the message that African-Americans should consider waiting until marriage to have children.

Shout out to the Crouch Quadruplets of Danbury, Connecticut. Kenny, Martina, Ray and Carol Crouch collectively applied to more than 30 colleges, and not to all the same places. All 4 were happy when they signed on the Yale admissions website, one by one, and found out that all 4 quadruplets had been admitted to the Class of 2014! You know their mom and dad were ecstatic.

Their class rankings range from 13 out of a class of 632 (Kenny) to 46 (Martina) — and they have sky-high SAT scores (including Carol’s perfect 800 on the verbal part of that exam).

They haven’t made the decision to choose Yale yet. They have until May 1. Financial aid will be key to their decision, since they do not want to burden their parents.

If you’re a parent, you should be aware that a movement is going on that is dedicated to changing your child’s textbooks. Most parents trust that their local school districts are buying books that accurately represent american history and social studies in a way that is not significantly biased by any view, let alone ultra-conservative or ultra-liberial. Well, that may not be the case. You might be very concerned if you look through your child’s history books. I would encourage you to take a look at this news and then find out if your child’s textbooks have been affected. Watch this Video from CNNfor details.

From AC360 – In Texas today, the state’s board of education approved a new social studies curriculum that conservatives say is meant to correct for a liberal bias among the teachers who initially drafted the standards. The vote came after days of charged debate.

Out: Calling the U.S. government “Democratic”. In: Calling it a “Constitutional Republic.” Also out: too much talk about Thomas Jefferson and the enlightenment, which stressed reasoning and science over blind faith. Also In: More recognition of the contributions of religious leaders, like Moses.

All of this matters, because with almost five million students in Texas, the state buys a lot of textbooks that could determine what publishers put out for America’s other school children. Though, in this digital age, that is not as big of a concern as in past years.

Black Barbie Doll = $3.00. White Barbie Doll = $5.93. Why am I’m not surprised. Oh Walmart…you know better than this. Thanks to the folks at FunkyJunk.com for posting out this Walmart Fail. Guanabee.com: “It was uploaded by a woman from Louisiana who says she took it at her local Wal-Mart.” Kids, even your toys know it’s not a post-racial America. If that’s not subliminal…