Friday 20 November 2015

I’ve had a few difficult days this week. I’ve just been very sad and hopeless. I spoke to the psychiatrist on Wednesday, as we’d arranged, and she said that we’ve reached the point where her recommendation is to try ECT. She said she’d find out the process for it, and we’d talk about it at my appointment on Thursday. I took Troy with me to this appointment, so that he could remember all the things that I was likely to forget.

Anyway, like anything involving the health system, it’s apparently designed so that no one will ever actually be able to access it. It’s not enough for my doctor to recommend, I have to then get involved in some community team where I will have to see another psychiatrist who will/ won’t agree with my doctor. Then there will be things with the hospital before we go ahead with it. It’s frustrating that this thing we’d be using both because I’m desperate enough to try it even though it scares me, and because it’s quick, is more trouble and more time. In the meantime it’s just med readjustment and general despair.

Anyway, Emma had a good week at camp. I think she was tired enough to be very glad she was at home this afternoon, but she said it was okay and she told me a few stories about it, so she was happy to talk about it. I missed her- it was really good to see her again tonight.