Monday, 29 December 2008

CHOO CHOO CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOO

I am on a train. The train is full of loud and rude people who are squeezed together so that some of their skin is touching. I am sitting next to an angry and fat man who is touching my skin with his skin.

I can feel the bulge of his flesh beneath his skin against the bulge of my flesh beneath my skin. Our skins are getting acquainted.

There is a conductor on the train who is sweeping up and down very quickly saying tickets tickets any new tickets give me your ticket I need a ticket from you stop hiding in the toilet give me a ticket. The train is moving very fast through the country cutting its way very quickly.

The landscape is a dreadful blur. There is a man selling hot coffee from a trolley he is going past loudly and hissing and steaming all over the place. There are crisps and exciting snacks bursting out from his trolley waiting to be crunched away by snapping angry commuter's teeth.

A baby that is crying and crying carries on crying until its mother hits it on the head with her hand so that it stops crying. She is pumping it full of drugs to stop it crying.

An older man is sneezing his pus and infections all over his wife who thinks he is talking and says sorry dear what was that while his mobile phone rings a naval tune and he answers it screaming FUCK OFF.

Three grey suited businessmen laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and I hate them. They are talking about Eric and how he is banned from trains because he is always farting.