I've got a few suggestions for anyone who is wanting to build their own home, but especially for housewives and stay-at-home-moms like myself. These tips apply to other areas of life too, so don't be afraid to read on.

Many of you know that we are building a house, and we are trying to do that without saddling ourselves with an outrageous mortgage. I highly recommend this experience to just about anyone because it has been extremely rewarding thus far. However, it is not for the faint of heart!

Right now, we are in the process of purchasing the floor plans and construction drawings, and I am ecstatic. We are moving (slowly) in the right direction.

I've designed a hundred floor plans. I've day dreamed about how I would decorate each house. Chris and I are even talking about driving around the county in order to look at homes, with the intention of going up to the owners and asking them how to get their house plans!

Things To Remember:In all of the running around, we've decided that we are not cookie-cutter people, and we need a house that reflects that. Building a house to fit your personality and goals is a difficult task, but it can be done. Here are some things to remember when making your dream home come true:

1. It is going to cost more than you plan.2. It is going to take a really long time.3. You will probably change your mind a hundred times. 4. Stick to your guns (and your budget).5. Be Flexible.

1.) It is going to cost more than you plan.

Really, it is. Don't try to tell yourself that you can work on a budget, you can settle for something that is less than what you want. BUT want realistic things. Please. Don't forget to over-budget for everything. It's better to over-budget and spend less than to under-budget and try to scramble at the last minute to pull money out of thin air. Trust me. Money doesn't come from the air. It doesn't grow on trees either.

2.) It is going to take a really long time.

In fact, it's probably going to take you at least 3 times longer than you plan. Or at least you should plan for it to take 3 times longer... I know that was confusing, but, you get it right?

Again, it's better to over estimate the time that it will take to build your house, than it is to deal with the disappointment (not to mention the other more tangible complications) that comes from delays in building.

3.) You will probably change your mind a hundred times.

That is okay! When you are drawing plans and dreaming about the way your house will look, it's really okay to change your mind. There are so many options to choose from. What style of home do you want? What kind of counter tops? Floors? Cabinets? Paint Colors? Trim, doors, windows, the list goes on.

The trick is to be decisive when you find things that sing to you.

4.) Stick to your guns (AND your budget).

You will never be happy if you overextend yourself. No matter how much those marble counters "sang," you will regret overspending every time. However, if you really love marble, you should hang on to that. Maybe you can try marble look-alikes. Concrete counter tops can be made to look pretty close to marble without too much effort and they cost a fraction of the price!

It's all about a give and take.

5.) Be Flexible.

I said it before, and I'll say it again: it's all about give and take. Especially if you want to keep your marriage (or other relationships) alive and well. You find compromises, you make things work. Remember what the Jack Sparrow said in Pirates of the Caribbean? "Take what you can and give nothing back." Well I think it should be, "Take what you can, give something back."

Don't be stubborn, but don't settle for less than you deserve. Don't draw lines in the sand. Be willing to change your vision so that it becomes "our" vision instead of "my" vision.

You won't have to get your heartbroken when you can't get what you wanted, and often times, you'll find that you're happier with the changes.In Conclusion:On our journey thus far, we have experienced a few trials. I wouldn't trade those for anything. My family has learned about living in close quarters, and as such we've become closer emotionally. I've become a better housekeeper. I've had to. Living in less than 200 square feet with two preschool-aged children will do that to you. Allergies, illness, and depression have all had some face time, but they never last long.

The joy that comes from following our dreams never fades from day to day. That is what I hold on to. If you are building your house, I advise you to do the same. Hold on to the positive things that will come from these trials.

Check out our goFundMe campaign. You'll get a free recipe book (and a hug) for helping us realize our dreams! Below, you'll see some of the plans we've been talking about... 3 different ones to be exact...

I'll add one to the list for you, only because it became such a valuable lesson in my own recent home-building project. (We had a general contractor build it, but hey.)

Take 24 hours. Or longer.

When the building process reaches a certain phase, sometimes things move fast. The bulldozer is THERE, NOW, and someone needs a final decision on where to put the driveway.

With a bunch of workers standing there waiting on you, some shoving all sorts of advice and opinions your way, it's easy to feel pressured and intimidated into making a decision you later regret.

"Well, I guess if you think that's the best spot..." Except after you move in and start living in your new home, you realize it isn't. At all.

Take 24 hours to think on all "urgent" decisions. They can wait. Let them bill you a few hours waiting time, if they're that sort to charge it. Nothing is so urgent that it can't wait a little so that you have the time to make a smart, informed and personally comfortable decision.

You may just appreciate it when you realize that your driveway is in exactly the right place, and you'll be glad you told everyone to just hold their horses!

Building your own dream house is not as easy as you would have probably imagined. It would take more than just investing a lot of money to finish it. But it would definitely be the greatest thing ever! I remember when I started building my dream house for my family three years ago. I was so excited and nervous because I didn't know if I would be able to do finish it the way I wanted to. Thankfully, I was surrounded by people who love and support me so in the end, I was able to have the dream house that I've always dreamt of.

I think it'd definitely important to keep in mind that building your dream home is going to cost more than you plan. On top of that, I agree that you should stick with whatever decisions you make. It's going to end up costing a lot more if you're constantly making changes as you go. Figure out what you want beforehand, and stick with it until it's done. Usually, you'll be able to make changes later on if you're really unhappy with it.

These are all great things to consider if you're looking for or building your "dream house". I really love #2 and #5. Patience is important. Finding or building the house of your dreams can definitely take time, but it's worth it! Also, being flexible is a must. Just because you find a "perfect home", doesn't necessarily mean that you'll love EVERYTHING about it. You might have to compromise a little bit, but that's okay! Great post, thanks for sharing!

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Lindsay Hodge

Lindsay Hodge is our resident Writer here at Haven Homestead. She keeps this blog, a GRIT blog, and writes other fun things too.