I’m not usually
inclined to
underestimate my opponents, but an hour later, if anyone had asked
me, I would have said with absolute certainty that the guys I was
playing were not only sophomoric,
but hapless.
And that would have been kind. Not only did they
seem to know zip about Texas Hold ’Em and the probability of winning
on certain hands, but they were getting no cards.
Half of them folded right after the flop, and I just kept taking
pot after undefended pot. In my usual game that would mean
moderate winnings,
but in this game, with higher minimum bets, I was cleaning up. And
it took almost no effort!

This was the best idea I had ever had!

“Kudos,
dude,” Topher said as I gathered up my latest pile of chips. “You’re
like the poker guru.”

“Thanks, man,” I said with a smile.

Dominic’s friend Lucas was more
truculent.
“Whatever. You’re just having a lucky night.”

“Kind of like the other night when I kicked
your and Dominic’s asses?” I asked, stacking my chips in twenty-five-dollar
increments. “Was
I lucky then, too?”

Lucas blew out a breath and shook his head. He sunk lower
in his seat, staring down at the table.

“You bet your ass I am,” I said. “And I have your
laudatory comments
to thank for it, brotha,” I added, slapping him on the back.

“Please. I knew your
empirical knowledge
of the game would make you outclass these losers any day,” Ian said,
lifting his shoulders. “They probably learned everything they know
from Celebrity Poker Showdown.”

“No doubt,” I said, feeling quite pleased with myself.

“So how much you up?” he asked.

I looked over the chips and quickly estimated my winnings.
“I think I’ve tripled my money,” I said incredulously.

“No way,” Ian replied, wide-eyed. “See? You were all worried about
your bank account, but now it’s going to be
replete with cash.”

My heart thumped as I stared at the
ornate design
on top of the professional chips Ian had sprung for. “Yeah.”

“What’s the matter now?” Ian asked. “Winner’s remorse?”

“No,” I said. “No. It’s just . . . how am I going to explain
the sudden influx of money to my parents?”

Ian blinked. Neither one of us had thought of this. “Well,
better than explaining a sudden
dearth,
right?”

“Good point,” I replied.

Still, as the other guys returned to the table, I was feeling
a strong inclination to
quit while I was ahead. That was my usual M.O. anyway, and now that
I realized that my new income was going to render me suspect, I
was even more inclined to bail. I had never told my parents about
our poker games, not even the little ones. In their eyes, risking
money was an egregious crime.
But before, I never had trouble hiding it—anything I won was silly pocket
money. This kind of cash was going to be a lot harder to stow.

A couple of the other guys grumbled as well. Talk
about a divisive announcement.
Everyone looked at Lucas, uncomfortable.

“Come on, man,” Lucas said, sitting up straight and raising
his palms on the table. I found myself hoping he had washed them
after doing his business. “You gotta at least give us a chance to
win some of our money back.”

“Yeah,” one of the other guys chorused. “Don’t be a wank.”

“A greedy wank,” Lucas amended.

I looked around at their pleading, challenging expressions
and felt myself start to oscillate.
Normally I’m fairly obdurate in
these situations, but in that moment, I felt kind of sorry for them.
They didn’t know what the hell they were doing, and I had taken
advantage of that. Besides, if I lost a little money back, I would
still be up, they would be
placated,
and it would be less cash to explain to my parents.