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Monday, July 12, 2010

Ew gross... boobs!

We had a lovely weekend around the city, enjoying friends and family activities (swimming in the public pool!), and relaxing. It was so good to hang out with some people who we haven't seen for a while, both with Oliver and after his bedtime for grown-up time!

On Saturday we entertained friends on our patio with takeout (who can be bothered with cooking in this heat!). Two of our very good couple friends and one couple who we don't really know but are friends of the friends. Drinks, Nicaraguan food, fresh air.. nice light fun, right?

Sure, until...somehow the conversation got on to breastfeeding. I know I didn't bring it up, as I had just come down from putting Oliver to sleep. I joined the conversation to hear the female half of the couple we don't know all that well say "Oh God, but what about those people who keep breastfeeding their babies until they can walk?!" I chuckled and then said "Well I'm sorry to say it but that will likely be me, I'm planning to breastfeed til Ollie is two". I figured that might tip her off that I'm a breast feeder myself.

She didn't even backtrack, she went straight for the kill "I think it is so weird to be breastfeeding when the baby can walk and talk. I actually think breastfeeding is always weird.. I know I won't do it, it is so gross! I hate when I see people out just breastfeeding in public like everyone wants to see that, so disgusting!" She went ON and ON.

What. the. hell.!? It is one thing to have personal feelings about breastfeeding, it is totally another to go to the home of a parent and start going off about it - or any parenting choice for that matter. I guess maybe because she isn't around people with kids much she doesn't realize that that could be a controversial way to talk, but you'd think it is just good manners and common sense to know better.

I have never understood why breastfeeding is a topic for discussion at all. It is a personal choice that doesn't affect anyone but mommy and baby. If I'm totally honest I guess I'd have to say that deep down inside I do feel judgemental about women who chose to formula feed when they have the option to breastfeed. I think it is clear that breastmilk is complete, healthy and good for bonding. It is also easier than formula feeding, and waaay cheaper. BUT I know that that is just my opinion, and that sharing that opinion with a formula feeding mom would be rude. I know that some women really struggle with breastfeeding and that I had an easy time of it, which is lucky for me, and not the norm. And I know better than to walk into the home of someone I barely know and start shooting my mouth off about how disgusting the way they choose to feed their baby is.

One thing I learned from the whole experience is that motherhood must be maturing me socially. A year ago I'd probably have gone off on this inconsiderate woman and tried to school her on all of the ways her opinion is ignorant (and immature - who thinks breastfeeding is just gross!?). I bit my tongue, just mentioned that everyone has the right to whatever makes them comfortable, and then moved on. Growth.

Or maybe motherhood is making me more passive aggressive, because here I am blogging about it for the whole world to see ;)

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I'm Meagan.
I used to be a lot of things; a Christian, an atheist, a yoga teacher, a wife, an Attachment Parent, and a bleeding heart, hippy dippy, organic mama. Now I'm not so sure which of those labels apply to me. I guess I'm a mum in the middle of an existential crisis.
While I figure things out, I'm having fun with my boys and writing about the ways I mess up and the happy mess they make of my life.