But, the good news- from what I've observed about the world so far, humans appear to have absolutely no common sense when it comes to dealing with poop.

So, I strategically hid 2 piles of it behind the chair in the bedroom. Surely she won't see it, there's so much going on around here. (much of it thanks to ME, as I plan on keeping her distracted.)

Okay, she's seen it.

BUT- I know how to manage the human psyche.

For starters:

1. Deny and Counter-accuse.

THIS IS NOT POOP. IT IS A NECESSARY RELEASE OF TOXINS FROM MY SYSTEM. IT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO TAKE ME OUT IN THE RAIN.

PLUS-- I NOTICE YOU LEAVE YOUR SHOES ON THE FLOOR WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF.

She looks angry. Hands are on hips. It's not my fault the chair is in the room with the new carpet.

On to the next step:

Focus on irrelevant details

THE OTHER MORNING YOU TOOK ME OUT VERY EARLY AND YOUR HOUSEDRESS WAS ON BACKWARDS. IT WAS EMBARASSING.

But she's saying “This can't continue.”

I must go to the HATE platform:

You seem obsessed with this.

You are offending my delicate senses.

You are a BUM for mentioning this.

All this has failed. So, one final step:

This is old news. What's for dinner?

But she's saying she refuses to get lost in all this poop.

Answer a simple YES OR NO she demands:

DID YOU POOP BEHIND THE CHAIR? “Yes

DID YOU HIDE IT BECAUSE YOU KNEW IT WAS WRONG?Yes

WOW- are humans figuring out that to have power over their reality they cannot be pulled into the distortion of facts?

If so, there are other piles of poop that need to be dealt with, such as......allowing people to die of hunger in this world of plenty... protecting the innocent by bombing them...amassing enough weapons to turn the planet into a parking lot.

And so on.

If that's what's really happening, I can go into relaxation mode, knowing my true work is done