Date: Mon, 22 Jan 2001 01:57:48 -0000
From: J-dot M
Subject: Angel's Wings Part 9
Angel's Wings (Part 9)
Written by JM
--- Da da da da da... what to write, what to write? Hmmm, it's about
celebrities... yeah, that sounds good. Two very moral celebrities too...
ooh yeah, that makes it better. Let's see, what else... oh yeah, these two
male celebrities are together, but that has nothing to do with their actual
personal lives. Ha ha, oh yeah, forgot this one... it's fiction ALL THE
WAY! Is that it? I think so... wait, no... please be 18 or older or have
your parents permission. Parental Guidance is suggested. Need some
popcorn? Maybe a soda? Got to have the Twizzlers... remember, 'Silence Is
Golden'! Okay, let's move on to to the previews... ---
--- Rated PG-13: Hey, I'm back! That's right and I thought I could stay
away. No, I prayed I could stay away, but this is in my blood. I've just
got to write. Anyway, I'm glad to be back with another exciting verse in
the song of Brian and Justin's lives. Please remember that these stories
are based on the romance created for Brian and Justin through 'Brian and
Justin' and 'Just Beginning'. This is not called 'JC and Nick' or 'Lance's
Beginnings,' so please respect the fact that they will not get all the
attention in the world. If you don't know by now, send all comments to:
catsfan1@hotmail.com Thank you very much! Enjoy the show... ---
--- Beginnning Credit: Yes, it is correct that the city of Las Vegas does
not allow marriages between same sex marriages. I think they just ruled
that in the recent election, but anyway, this story is fictious and
therefore the laws of this sometimes fucked up land do not apply here. So
guess what? If you're in love with someone and they're your same sex, you
can marry them in this story! :) Okay, cool, glad I got that out of the
way and thanks to Ryan for reminding me to put this in here. Enjoy the rest
of the movie! ---
Christmas, what a holiday. People empty their pockets and max out their
credit cards for the love of a gift and not the spirit of the moment. What
happened to the true meaning of Christmas? Where was the belief in the
meaning of Christmas? Was it all a gift here and there and no family?
Could it be that Scrooge has entered everyone's spirits and their hearts had
become two sizes too small like the Grinch's? No one knows, but no one
cares anymore. It's about the gifts of material and not the gift of family
and blessing.
"Shit, could these folks be any slower?" Britney Spears grumbled, her
fingers tapping along the steering wheel of her ivory-white Mercedes and her
foot itching to move from the brake to the gas pedal. She cared little for
the material in this moment. She was in a rush to complete a task in order
for her to return to the family she cherished.
"Britney, chill girl. We've got some time before our flights leave."
Nikki DeLoach informed her friend with hopes of calming her. Britney shook
her head quickly before finally moving her car up a few more inches. She
hated airport traffic. "I have to get back to Joey's place before my mom
and Jamie Lynn have a fit. I said I wouldn't miss breakfast with them and I
know Joey can't entertain them long." Britney stated, her eyes focused on
the red lights of the car in front of her. As soon as they dimmed and the
car moved, Britney quickly ushered her car forward and pulled it to a halt.
"Aaaww, Britney, the family girl. Soon enough, you'll be celebrating
Christmas with kids of your own." Mandy Ashford cooed from the backseat.
Britney snapped her head in Mandy's direction with a prudish expression.
"Ya never know Britney, come on." Nikki insisted while nudging her friend.
Britney rolled her eyes and brushed her hair back. "I probably won't have
my first kid until I'm twenty-one, if not twenty-two." Britney stated
confidently. She watched as the airport attendants began to grab the
luggage out of the trunk. "Why that late? I thought you said you and Joey
were going to get started within at least a year of Amanda and AJ's
wedding?" Nikki wondered curiously. Britney peered her eyes at Nikki for a
minute. "It's okay Brit', I know already. Blabbermouth Nikki told us at
rehearsal one day." Mandy assured her friend. Britney's eyes grew smaller
when staring at Nikki. Nikki nibbled her lower lip and attempted to smile
for Britney. It was a poor attempt.
Britney cleared her throat and removed her gloomy stare from Nikki.
"Well, I'm praying that by next Christmas, Joey will ask me to marry him. I
can't have kids unless I'm married. It wouldn't look right. It's bad
enough my image is this sexual teenager who's a goodie-goodie all the time.
The fact that I'm not a virgin no more can really screw up my image. Having
kids before marriage? Whoa, that's overboard." Britney explained with a
strained voice. Mandy giggled softly while applying lipgloss to her soft
lips. "You are so the opposite of Amanda." Mandy commented with her cute
Southern accent. Britney laughed brightly. She played with her bangs while
lookin in the rearview mirror. "Doesn't matter. If Joey doesn't propose,
he's Brooklyn ass ain't gettin' no kids." Britney remarked while trying to
imitate a Brooklyn accent.
Britney turned her eyes on Nikki as she handed one of the luggage
attendants she and Mandy's plane tickets. "I really wish ya'll were staying
in town so I could see ya'll over Christmas. It's gonna feel weird with
most of my friends being out of town and all." Britney remarked with a
sullen voice. Nikki rotated to face Britney with a small frown on her lips.
"I'm sorry Britney. I haven't seen my family in awhile and all. I've
just gotta see them." Nikki apologized with a sincere tone. Britney nodded
while slumping in her seat. "Besides, spending Christmas day with you, your
family, and your silly little boyfriend is not exactly my idea of a great
time." Mandy teased her friend. She ruffled Britney's honey-blonde hair
while leaning forward in her seat. "And yeah, we'd all like to spend
Christmas with the cutest couple in the world, Bryan and Mandy!" Nikki
chimed, joking with her friend while giving her a light shove. Mandy
grinned and twisted a finger through her hair. "Yes, I know, I know. Don't
boost my ego anymore than my baby does." Mandy gleamed. Nikki and Britney
simultaneously rolled their eyes at their friend's foolish behavior.
"What did you get your newly blonde boyfriend?" Mandy wondered with a
perky smile. Britney licked her lips with a proud gleam. "Well, I got him
some clothes, some Superman crap, and a Superman-shaped pendant, but instead
of the 'S', it has a 'B' and on the back it says 'Your Super girl.'" Britney
replied cockily. Nikki smiled at her friend's confidence. "Oh, and also, I
got him... well, I got myself some new lingerie and just as soon as my mom
takes Jamie Lynn to the Nutcracker on Ice show, Joey will get a super
present from me." Britney cheered. Nikki stared at Britney with surprise
painting her face while Mandy fell into a fit of laughter. Britney giggled
quietly, her round brown eyes full of life. "I don't even want to ask how
you're not promoting children with that gift." Mandy chuckled out while
pushing her door open. Nikki shook her head while opening her own door.
Britney sighed as her friends looked at her. Goodbyes were a favorite
activity of hers. She often avoided them and sought refuge in laughter and
smiles. "I'm really gonna miss ya'll." she spoke out with a
less-than-cheery voice. Mandy reached over her seat and pulled Britney into
a small embrace. "You'll survive Britney. You've got your Joey Bear."
Mandy assured her friend. Britney nodded with a small frown tugging at the
corners of her lips. "And you'll see me two days after Christmas girl."
Nikki promised her friend as she ended her hug with Mandy.
Britney quickly pulled Nikki into a hug. She knew what she was losing
without Nikki in town for the holidays. She would be lacking a friend that
kept her stable when even she did not know her world was falling apart. She
was losing the laughter, the smiles, the joys of a friend that made sure she
enjoyed life. In a sense, Britney was losing a piece of herself. "Ya'll
hurry back or I'll just have a fit and turn into a total goob." Britney
insisted with a bending smile. "I'll be back before New Years, don't worry
Britney." Nikki said softly while pulling away from Britney.
Britney sighed with a lonesome look. She allowed her friends to exit her
Mercedes without protest. "Tell Justin and Brian goodbye for me." Britney
called out to Nikki as she moved away from the car. Nikki nodded, slowly
drawing away and heading inside of the airport with Mandy following close
behind her.
They were all together in one area, but not for long. Each would be
headed in a separate direction, boarding a separate plane, and headed to a
separate land of comfort. It was the ways of Christmas. Friends parted
ways to see relatives; some they loved and others they bared. Everyone knew
that in a few hours, God willing, they would all be on their way home. They
booked early to mid-day flights to spare themselves the drama of a typical
celebrity's trip to the airport; authographs, pictures, questions, mobbing -
the basic holiday requirements. For their own personal reasons, they were
not in the mood to be famous anymore. They only sought to be themselves and
that meant feeling comfortable in their environment.
Lance Bass was comfortable in his environment. He sat near the gate his
plane was leaving from with a portion of his body leaning on the man sitting
next to him. That man was Bryce Winters, Lance's boyfriend. Lance cared
not for the occasional stare he received from passing people. He continued
to lean on Bryce with a look of confidence on his face. He found it easy to
blend in with others when with Bryce. Bryce wasn't famous, not in any form,
and Lance liked it that way. He had dated several famous men and knew of
the strains it had not only on his social life, but also his career. Lance
felt secure with Bryce and he knew Bryce felt the same with him.
Across from the comfortable couple sat another content couple. Brian and
Justin Littrell held hands freely as patrons passed them. Like a classic
song about inseparable lovers, they sat colorfully in bliss that was brought
about by their freeness; freedom from fears of being caught. Occasionally,
Brian brushed the hairs of his growing beard across Justin's cheek, a tender
display of affection that could be read like a Dr. Seuss book. Only Justin
could cherish the action though. Only he felt sizzling heat run over the
fibers of his body and cause a light tinge of blush to pinched his cheeks.
When Brian brushed a hand over Justin's gelled-up brown hair, Justin smiled.
It could not be any clearer or more evident. The painting showed every
hidden word and phrase without saying it plainly.
Sitting restively in Justin's lap was Brian and Justin's adopted son,
Angel Littrell. It was noticeable that he did not want to be at the
airport. He preferred to sit at home with his dogs and his toys, locked
away in his own bright yellow world of happiness. He was denied freedom at
the airport, forced to stay seated with his parents as they awaited the
departure of their flight to Kentucky.
On Brian's left side sat a more calmed individual. Bryan Deas waited
patiently upon his girlfriend, Mandy, to arrive and grease a smile over his
lips. His glassy blue eyes looked upon Bryce and Lance with no antipathy,
just envy. He wanted to sit close to his lover and feel secure as he knew
Lance did. He licked out a small smile when he felt Lance's eyes on him.
There was no tension between the two. Bryan felt close to Mandy's best
friend for his own reasons. The man that introduced Bryan to his current
girlfriend left an endless impression on his mind. Without Lance, would he
have Mandy now? He was Tennesee, she was from Mississippi. He had
preferred a casual conversation over the phone while she favored physical
displays of affection. He was a waiter at a Mexican restaurant while she
was a singer, a performer. What could he hope? Only Lance saw that they
were meant for each other and only Lance could bring them together. Bryan
could not be more thankful, but he was.
On Justin's right sat Lea Alexanders, Angel's nanny. She too waited for
the plance for Ketucky to be called. She wanted to see a man that she
called a boyfriend while Brian called him a brother. Dating her employer's
brother wasn't her idea of the most desireable relationship, but Lea would
not apologize for it. She found solace in Harold III. Being a diary that
the tabloids would love to unlock, Lea only sought comfort and love in the
man that she only met less than a year previous. Courting Harold III was a
tough job in itself with Lea living with Brian, Justin, and Angel in a house
in Orlando while Harold occupied an apartment in Lexington made it next to
impossible for Lea to keep a stable relationship with him, but she did it.
Short visits, days off spent in mutual places, late night conversations over
the telephone, anything to stay with a man that understood the need for love
and relief.
Not too many seats away from the other sat another couple, a quieter
couple, locked in thoughts of where to go and what to see. JC and Nick
Chasez dreamed away while sitting awkwardly close to one another. Only two
weeks previous, Nick and JC eloped in Las Vegas. Drunk, high off of lust
and alcohol, the troubled couple to a step toward another passage in their
life and to JC's recollection, the ceremony was nothing to brag about. Then
again, JC was drunk and could vaguely remember anything outside of the vows
and the kiss he shared with Nick when the minister said they were Mr. and
Mr. Joshua Scott Chasez. It was fitting. After months and months of
avoiding love and taking what he wanted, JC was taken by love and succumbed
to a fear he had for years.
Now, he refused to end something he wasn't sure he started. He and Nick
had yet to go on a honeymoon, to share a day enjoying the recent union.
Nick danced around the idea to take care of business affairs surrounding the
Backstreet Boys' new album. It was released the Tuesday after JC and Nick
said 'I do' and for some reason, JC felt a familiar taste on his tongue;
something bitter. He prayed for an instance when Nick would revel in the
fact that he had won a war with three other people and finally smile on the
fact that they were married. It was what Nick wanted, JC was sure of it.
JC only longed for the romance he shared with Nick in the beginning of their
romance. Maybe this trip to Washington to visit JC's family would bring
back that spark of life and love they once shared. Hearts were broken for
this relationship and JC knew it was fated to be that way. He couldn't let
Nick go now; not for a love that was not guaranteed.
The only thing that drew JC's mind from his divided thoughts of Nick was
the sound of Justin's voice and the laughter hailing from Nikki and Mandy.
His baited eyes glanced at Justin before looking at Nikki. He hated being
estranged from their friendships, but it was necessary at the moment. JC
wanted to keep his marriage with Nick calm and eased until it was fully
developed to JC's liking.
"Should I put a hat on Bastian's head? I don't know if he's warm enough?"
Justin wondered, taking a glance at Brian for an answer. Brian studied his
son for a moment. His subtle blue eyes gleamed at Angel as Angel pouted in
his position. "I don't think he'd like that." Brian commented with a
captured smile. Justin ran a hand over Angel's hair, drawing out a small
whimper from Angel. Brian watched attentively as his son began to fuss in
Justin's arms. He wasn't comfortable and he wasn't free. "But he just got
over that cold and I don't want him getting sick again, especially not at
your parent's house." Justin remarked. Brian shook his head, skirting an
arm around Justin's shoulders for comfort. "I don't think he'll get sick
again Bean." Brian whispered an assurance. Justin was less-than-comfortable
with his husband's reply, but he allowed it.
"It's about time you got here." Lance remarked with his heavy country
accent as Mandy and Nikki dropped their carry-on bags with the other luggage
nearby. "Blame Britney. She didn't want to say goodbye." Mandy replied as
she greeted her boyfriend with a tender kiss. Like candy, she craved a
little more from him but disregarded his quietness to attend to another
male. "Can I?" Mandy requested with open arms while looking down on Angel
crying. Justin passed Angel to Mandy with a quick wink. "Have a ball
Blondie." Justin grinned, falling back into his seat and letting Brian wrap
an arm around him again. Mandy smiled back and carried Mandy toward Bryan.
She hummed a soft tune before singing it quietly to the whimpering toddler.
Strong inside, but you don't know it
Good little girls, they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak?
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl
The Madonna-penned tune lullied the boy to a tranquil state of peace as he
looked at the young woman. Mandy craddled him with tender eyes holding him
quiet. Mandy found a seat in her boyfriend's lap. She sat back with
Bryan's arms wrapping around her as she looked on Angel. She continued to
hum the easy melody with a tepid smile. "Why would he want to know what it
feels like to be a girl?" Bryan quietly asked Mandy. Mandy interrupted her
humming with a soft giggle. "There's a meaning behind the song, Bryan.
Besides, he's just a year-old, he doesn't know what I'm singing about."
Mandy said shortly, her voice lowered to keep Angel in his blue of serenity.
"Mandy, you know I love that song. You better quit ruining it." Nikki
teased her friend while finding a chair next to Lea. She was given no
chance to listen to Mandy's sarcastic remark as the pounding sound of her
cellular phone drew her attention away. Nikki hastily pulled open her bag
and pulled out the phone, answering it with brisk interest when reading the
numbers on the caller ID. "Hey, this is Nikki." Nikki chimed with hopes of
hearing a friendly reply. "Well, this is Kevin and it's good to hear you so
cheery for once." Kevin's dark tone rattled through the phone, leaving Nikki
strickened with disappointment. She creased her brow and slunk into the
small cushions of her chair. "I was happy because I thought this was AJ or
Amanda. You are calling from their phone, right?" Nikki grumbled out. She
could hear a tickled laugh from Kevin that bothered her. Her eyes slainted
and she turned to her side.
As she looked up, Nikki felt JC's dangerous stare on her. She turned her
eyes down immediately. She needed to save herself from his flame because
she had been burned. The shadows of their past, her past with Kevin, the
recent events in Las Vegas left her tormented like a criminal. "Nikki, I'm
here with AJ, Amanda, and Amaiya and I just wanted to tell you goodbye and
wish you a Merry Christmas before you deserted me for Georgia." Kevin said
sincerely, but Nikki could hear the slyness that came with his words. He
wasn't delicate like she thought. "I'm not deserting you Kevin. You've
given me no reason to stay, therefore I'm leaving without guilt of doing
wrong to you." Nikki declared with proper defense. "If I gave you a reason
to stay, would you?" Kevin wondered, his voice taming its dryness. Nikki
thought over the proposal as a voice took over the speakers of the airport.
Her time was drawing to a close.
Her silence was enough for Kevin. "You don't have to answer me Nikki. A
New Year is coming and I'm hoping that it means I can redeem myself in your
eyes. After all, I have yet to say 'I told you so' about JC... so maybe I'm
not all that bad, huh?" Kevin offered a strong vindication. An old fire
tried to spark after Kevin's words flowed, but the voice over the
loudspeaker did not oblige his request. "Maybe Kevin." Nikki said
pretentiously. "And maybe I'll win you over." Kevin made a quick comment
that left Nikki distracted.
"I've got to go Kevin. My plane is taking passengers now." Nikki said,
her voice losing its luster. "All right Nik'. Call me when you get in,
okay? I just wanna make sure you get there all safe and sound. I'll be
heading out to Kentucky tomorrow, but I still wanna keep in contact." Kevin
requested. He knew when to withdraw. He did not want the mood to become
too heavy with faded pictures and memories of months before. "Okay Kevin."
Nikki reluctantly said, ending her phone call and a war that fought on for
no particular reason.
Nikki sighed as she began to gather up her two carry-on bags. She brushed
a few stray strands of hair behind her ear and looked up, Mandy standing
before her with a cheery smile. Nikki shucked a bag over her shoulder while
shooting Mandy an unsure glare. "What are you so smiley for Mandy?" she
asked with a trace of joy dipped in her voice. Mandy puckered her lips
before crossing her arms. "Well at least he called to wish you off this
year." Mandy remarked cheekily. Nikki rolled her green eyes promptly,
grabbing her other bag with care. "He's still not here." Nikki remarked, a
tinge of arrogance floating through her tone. She was unable to faze
Mandy's unforgotten smile. If not for Nikki's own bead of glee, she would
have passed Mandy's look off for a foolish look of adoration toward Bryan.
"But he called. Baby steps Nikki, baby steps." Mandy commented, letting a
hand rest on Nikki's shoulder. Again, Nikki rolled her appealing green eyes
and let the comment fly into the wind. "It's been a year Mandy. I have
doubts that his baby steps will be able to get him back into my heart."
Nikki assured her friend. Mandy shook her head and sighed quietly. "Keep
in mind that Kevin wrote that song Nikki." Mandy stated before hugging her
friend. Nikki gladly hugged her friend back, releasing her so that she
could walk her own path through life and search out her own reason to be
happy during the holidays.
Before Nikki could take those steps, she was greeted by a pair of eyes
that beckoned a return. Like silent prayers, there was just air. A pair of
offshore blue eyes staring into a pair of blazon green eyes. Almost
photographic in the essence, the two did not move, but their souls did. One
stepped aside for the other to pass while the other feared walking.
Amazing.
"Goodbye Peaches." JC finally said after seconds that felt like years.
Her angel no more. She could not find the artful words she had wanted to
speak to him before. She felt too hurt, too simple now. "Goodbye babe."
she merely said with tears beguiling her pain. Her time with him was over
and he stepped aside as her body finally walked past him.
Mandy watched, her eyes cutting at JC was she watched her friend walk down
the terminal, lonely and to herself. 'So predictable, just so fucking
predictable. He lets her walk away with a brokenheart. He doesn't even
bother to mend the pain he's caused, just like last time.' Mandy thought
with terse eyes looking on JC. She clenched her jaw shut, controlling her
need to scream at the man that had hurt two of her friends. She hated
seeing the scars he left on Nikki and Lance. Deep down, Mandy believed she
hated JC, but she refused to admit aloud. She followed her own theory that
she could help pull the two along the right paths to happiness. After all,
she helped Lance with his relationship with Bryce because she knew Bryce
brought Lance that spirit of joy he lost with Nick and JC. She had faith
that Kevin might be able to do the same for Nikki, but that was just faith,
not reality.
JC glanced over to where Nick stood by a vending machine with a fan
beckoning for an autograph while Mandy felt a hand grip her arm, shaking her
a little. "They're calling for first class boarding on our plane Manny."
Lance's voice pulled her from her daze. She batted her light green eyes and
ripped them from JC as he began to walk toward Nick. She tried to smile
when looking at Lance, but he could read her thoughts without her speaking.
Underneath that painted pretty smile lied thoughts that were distasteful.
The sweetness of burbon could not ease away those thoughts that Lance felt.
"Please, Manny, don't let it bother you. It's a part of our lives." Lance
whispered, praying the others did not hear him. Mandy blinked once, the
thoughts dying down. "I wish he'd understand how much it hurts." Mandy
hissed. Lance shook his head and then let his arm drop. "He's hurting,
Manny. Just let him figure it out for himself. I think me and Nikki have."
Lance promised. Mandy swallowed hard, desperate to recoil her anger toward
JC.
Lance fisted his hands into his pockets while watching Bryce slip a bag
over his shoulder. His light green eyes watched the dirty blonde hair shift
little as Bryce quickly ran a hand over it, contemplating his next move.
Lance could view Bryce's unease as another call for their plane rang through
the terminal. "Don't be so nervous Bryce. You're just going home with me
for the holidays." Lance assured his lover while affectionately running a
hand down Bryce's arm. Bryce pushed out a smile, his comfort being found in
Lance's golden-green eyes. "But it's my first Christmas with you. It's my
first Christmas with your family. I don't want it to be bad or unsatisfying
for you." Bryce remarked, a worrisome crease in his brow. Lance grinned
before winking at Bryce. "Trust me, if I'm with you, at my house, alone...
it won't be unsatisfying." Lance whispered to his boyfriend, his hand
lightly brushing Bryce's. Bryce blushed. "Besides, my family is going to
love ya. After all, you're too adorable not to love; plus you're not JC or
Nick, so you're already batting a thousand with them." Lance added for
assurance. His joke did not ease Bryce's nerves. He did not want to be
compared to Lance's former boyfriends or loved because he was not one of
them. He wanted to be adored because he was Bryce Winters and because he
made Lance happy. Deep down, when staring into Lance's friendly eyes, Bryce
already knew that was the reason that Lance adored him.
"Hold my hand all the way Jamesy?" Bryce requested shyly, a phrase he
often used with his lover. Lance's grin grew. "If you promise not to let
go." Lance agreed. There was a need, a desire to kiss Bryce in the airport,
but Lance gripped that desire and held it in his pocket. He knew he'd be
able to release it as soon as he arrived home; as soon as he was alone with
Bryce.
"Flight 629 to Ketucky will be boarding in ten minutes. I repeat, Flight
629 to Ketucky will be boarding in ten minutes. First class passengers
please have your tickets ready, you will be boarding first. The plane will
be touching down in Lexington first." the announcer said cearly for all to
hear. "I guess that's us." Brian was the first to speak, standing from his
seat with a proud grin. Justin followed, uneasy with the area. He stood
like a stone figure next to Brian, his hand still held safely by Brian. He
took a quick glance at Lea as she stood holding Angel tightly in her arms.
"You ready babe?" Bryan whispered to Mandy as he wrapped his arms around
her neck. Mandy smiled lightly as he felt her boyfriend brush his cheek
against hers. She gave him a small nod. She watched uncontently as Nick
and JC made their way into the circle of departing friends. "I guess all of
us should get ready to move out, huh?" JC spoke up as he slinked an arm
around Nick's waist. Eyes watched that arm with disbelief and more distrust
in its purpose. The chill brought concern to the air. "You guys decided to
stick it out huh? I mean the whole marriage thing." Bryan said to shatter
the tension mounting in the air. JC nodded with a blissful expression
molded into his sculpted face. Nick smiled while feeling eyes burn through
his clothing, his smile. "Why give it up? We figure since we love each
other, despite the fact that we eloped drunk, we can make this work for the
better. So I'm dragging old Nickie back to my folks' place for Christmas
and spring the news on them and just try to enjoy the Christmas time,
together." JC explained with warmth in his usually ecstatic voice.
Mandy tore her eyes away from the couple with spite. She ducked her head
and looked at Lance. His dull eyes stared at JC and Nick with little
concern. "Your parents didn't take it too well, did they Nick?" Brian asked
out of the blue. His eyes remained focused on Nick, his heart telling him
to stray away from eye contact with JC. He sought no communication between
himself and the man that almost took away his life. Nick immediately
lowered his head, an answer written into his expression. He coughed lowly
and then rested his eyes on Brian. "No." he replied mutedly. Brian shook
his head promptly. He was disappointed with Nick. Not only had JC nearly
taken Justin from Brian, he also pulled Nick away from his family. "That's
okay because as long as he's got me, it won't matter." JC chimed, nudging
Nick to bring out a little more joy inside of him. Nick lifted his head
with a prime smile, safety being provided by his husband's kindness. 'But
how long will that last?' Brian thought, his eyes hiding his feelings.
Justin licked his pouty red lips, doubtful in his friend's words. He did
not believe in the marriage, nor the thought of it lasting. Where was the
sacred beauty in it? It died, just as Justin believed the marriage would.
"Hmmm, look at the time. We better get moving." Mandy suggested aburptly.
Her intentions were clear to Lance, but the others stood in confusion.
Bryan removed his arms from around her neck and reached down to grab her
hand.
Lance took a quick glance at his boyfriend, Bryce responding to his look
with a soft smile. "Yeah, we better get moving. I can't wait to get this
lucky man back to my place in Clinton." Lance cheered, his eyes stuck on
Bryce. Bryce felt the blush rush to his cheeks as the others began to
glance at him. "Cute, he's blushing." Bryan joked, elbowing Lance. Lance
and Mandy snickered as Bryce remained shy toward Lance's remark. The others
joined in the silly laughter as Lance ran his thumb over Bryce's chin.
Bryce smiled lightly at his boyfriend's quick gesture.
One more call over the loud speaker caused Lance, Mandy, Bryan, and Bryce
to head toward their plane to Mississippi, Brian, Justin, Angel, and Lea to
walk toward their plane headed to Kentucky as JC and Nick waited for their
plane to Washington to board.
It might have been a short flight, but it was not as short as the
Littrells would have prayed for. Arriving in Lexington felt like downing a
glass of vodka for Justin; it burned and sizzled as it ran down his throat
and into his heart. He was scared and he was not at ease. He was returning
to a city where he once felt love, but he knew now that the love had lost
its flame. He was walking into a territory of unexpectation and
disillusion. He had not been to Lexington since his brief affair with JC,
but from the unaswered phone calls and two-word conversations Justin's had
with his family since the affair, Justin knew he was almost an unwelcomed
visitor to their househould. However, Justin gladly downed the glass of
vodka if it meant his husband could spend Christmas with the people that
helped keep him happy when he wasn't with Justin or Angel.
"There's my baby!" Jackie Littrell, Brian's mother, called out when she
caught a glimpse of her son and his family. "And there's my baby." Harold
III, Brian's older brother, said slyly when finally seeing his girlfriend
walk into the terminal. He smiled brightly, following his mother toward
Brian, Justin, Angel, and Lea. He saw Brian's face brighten with
fullfillment while Justin's held an unsure expression. He peered at Justin
for brief moments before watching his mother rush to see her other son.
With brisk movements, Brian snatched up his mother and embraced her with
months of waited moments. He held her close with a broad grin on his face.
"Oh thank God you're safe and sound and safe... and alive." Jackie gasped
out, hugging Brian tightly. Brian's brow furrowed as he hugged his mother,
his arms loosening up their grip. He narrowed his pale blue eyes and tried
to pull away from his mother's strong grasp on him.
Harold III pulled from his hug with his girlfriend and glared at his
mother. He laid a hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, hoping
to silence her and fend off her words. When Jackie pulled away, Harold III
read the discouragement and confusion in his brother's face. He scurried
away a smile and pulled his brother into a quick hug. "It's good to see ya
bro." Harold III chimed, hoping to pull Brian's thoughts away from their
mother's words. His attempt was a failed one.
"Yeah, Harold III, but what's mom talking about?" Brian asked plainly as
he pulled himself from Harold III's encircling arms. Harold III gave his
brother an unreassuring look before looking back to his mother.
Jackie hid her eyes under a small cloud of tacit tears. Her eyelashes
boxed with her silvery tears before she gave Justin an undecided smile.
Like a copper-coated penny, her face only showed the brightness of a happy
soul, not the depth of pain that raced through her at the moment. She
pushed away tears by refusing to let them fall and turned her eyes on her
son-in-law and grandson. "Glad that you came Justin." Jackie said, her
words almost choked, but not filling for Justin. She opened her arms to
embrace him and Justin hesitantly hugged the woman he once felt so close to.
The hug died quickly on Jackie's command as she brought her attention to
Angel. Brian sighed and grabbed Justin's hand, holding it lightly to
comfort his husband. He could feel the fallen angel inside of Justin.
Brian's hand added the protective covering to Justin's heart that seemed to
wash away when Jackie gave him little regard.
"Aaaww, my sweet Lil' Ducky, has your Dad been good to you?" Jackie cooed
toward her grandchild. Angel presented her with a shaky smile while
clinging to Justin's arm. Justin ran a hand over Angel's soft blonde hair
to ease his tenseness. "He's just a little sleepy, that's all. He didn't
enjoy the plane ride too much." Brian spoke up from the side, his mind still
on his mother, her words, and her actions toward his husband. Jackie
brushed a hand over Angel's face, a tepid smile on her lips. "It's probably
because he doesn't have a hat on. It's cold here in Lexington. The poor
thing probably has an earache or something." Jackie insisted, her eyes
becoming relentless as she looked at Justin for a second and then her son.
Justin brought his eyes downward, his fingers plucking at Angel's fleece
jacket. Brian cleared his throat calmly. "Actually, Justin suggested that
he should wear a hat, but I thought he'd be all right. I should've listened
to him." Brian proposed. He placed a small peck on Justin's cheek with
hopes of bringing a gentle smile on Justin's lips. Justin continued to look
down. "Well, maybe you're right Brian. They say most of kid's heat is in
their head, so maybe the hat would make Lil' Ducky too hot and then he'd
really be uncomfortable. You probably made the right choice to keep that
hat off his head." Jackie replied jadedly.
Justin crumpled his face and then closed his eyes. He was not content and
it was shown through his facial expressions. "Uh mom, maybe we should tell
Brian now before we get back to the house." Harold III suggested while
eyeing his brother as he comforted his husband. Again, Brian's interest was
peaked. He squinted his powdery blue eyes at his family, dis concerted by
their mysterious wording. His patience was drawing to an assured end.
"What are ya'll talking about? What's going on?" Brian asked, his voice
coated with dismay. Harold III sighed heavily. He grabbed Lea's hand and
held it loosely, his troubled eyes refusing to speak words that were beyond
him. "Brian, baby, the other night... while your cousin, Jennifer..."
Jackie could barely get her words out. She could feel both Brian and
Justin's eyes on her with desperate concern and it kept her speaking.
"Jennifer was coming home from a party with friends and well, a drunk driver
hit her and her car was smashed... with her in it." Jackie said, her voice
overflowing with anguish.
The words couldn't have hit Brian any quicker or any harder. His pain was
more than uncontainable. Like a bitter swallow of medicine, Brian's eyes
welled up and his throat burned. "Is she... is she..." Brian stumbled on
his words, his blistering tears overrunning his eyes and his senses. "She's
dead, Brian. She's gone." Harold III spoke up abruptly, shattering any
hopes Brian had for recovery from his pain. Brian faltered for a moment,
his knees suddenly leaving his body and leaving him helpless. Before he
could fall completely, Justin's swift arms caught him, holding his son and
his husband as Brian sobbed breathlessly. Like a manuscript, the words were
more than what was written on the page; they were what gave life to whatever
was written or said.
Later did not grasp how much time moved in Brian's heart as he stood in
his parent's house, practically lifeless and useless to the others. He
sniffled quietly while sitting in the kitchen, his eyes staring down at a
picture of his cousin's family. Jennifer Burke, Jacob's mother and Mike's
wife, but she was more. She was more to Brian. She was a cousin that he
shared many childhood memories with, outside of Kevin and his family. When
she married, he flew from Orlando to see it. When she gave birth to Jacob,
he was willing to be there if she called. She gave birth to the inspiration
Brian and Justin needed to adopt their first son. She was more than
Jennifer Burke and as clear, solid and undeniably painful tears slipped out
of Brian's eyelids, Brian could feel himself falling without a concrete
ground to slam against and die on.
Jackie Littrell laid a plate of apple pie in front of her son, sighing
while looking at his broken state. She patted his shoulder before walking
away to attend to other brewing food in the kitchen. Brian cleared his
throat and sniffled again. He slowly pushed away the plate, his appetite
seized by his sadness. He placed his arms on the table, his elbows pressing
firmly against the counter.
"You might want to get yourself cleaned up little bro. Mike said he's
gonna try and stop by with Jacob a little later on." Harold III advised,
nudging his brother as he passed. Brian let his head droop further, his
ears blocking out Harold III's words. "Is he doing any better?" Jackie
asked, her country accent strung with depression. Harold III skirted his
arms around Lea's waist as she fed Angel in a high chair. "He's a mess, but
I think he's coming to grips with it. He lost his wife, but he's
understanding that he has to keep his head high for the sake of Jacob."
Harold III replied. Harold III rested his chin on Lea's shoulder before
shooting his nephew a jolly smile, hoping to sway Angel from his sleepy
daze. Angel giggled quietly at Harold III's large grin. "He's so brave to
take this on and still remember his obligation to his son." Lea remarked
before feeding Angel another small piece of watermelon. Angel chewed
messily, the juices spilling over his small red lips while a look of
curiosity filled his youthful face. Harold III laughed lowly at his
nephew's expression. It had been so long since he had seen such innocence.
"Some of us men know where we belong and we also know where our love should
go, sweetheart." Harold III finally commented to his girlfriend, yanking her
up in his arms. Lea giggled quietly, running her arms over Harold III's
arms. He was her comforter. "Yes, Harold III, honey, you know where you
belong and it's with that good Southern girl right there. Don't you
forget." Jackie noted, her words directed toward Harold III without
reservation. Harold III rolled his eyes, but kept his demeanor jovial while
standing with Lea as she proceeded to feed his nephew.
Brian laid his easy blue eyes on his brother and his son's nanny. 'Maybe
you've finally found something to hold onto, huh bro?' Brian thought
indecisively. His words could not be anymore reflective as a pair of strong
arms encircled him, pulling him close. Brian succumbed to the amber-sweet
moment and refused to release his bitter tears. The scent of Armani Emporio
swallowed Brian and a soft sigh crossed his pinkish lips. "Are you okay?"
Justin's caramel-y voice asked, prompting Brian to close his eyes a little.
The stinging tears were held back, but Brian's sniffle wasn't. Brian
snuggled his head into Justin's face, the soft bristles of Justin's goatee
brushing against his temple. "No, I'm not." he replied, his country accent
devoid of warmth.
Justin sighed with discouragement as he felt Brian push his chair out and
stand, ending their short-lived embrace. "I'm gonna go upstairs and lay
down." Brian said, easing past his chair. Justin licked his lips and
furrowed his brow. His mirror blue eyes held Brian still and motionless.
Justin reached up and rubbed his thumb over a tear as it slithered down
Brian's cheek. Brian batted back the other tears while viewing the hurt
brewing in Justin's eyes. He grabbed Justin's wrist and carefulyl led it
downward. "Stay down here and relax with the rest of us. Just to take your
mind off of it for awhile. I'm sure everyone else would feel better if you
stayed down here." Justin pleaded with a kindred tone. Justin glanced to
the others for mild support; it was not there. Jackie continued to cook
while Harold III stared at Justin dumbly.
Brian sniffled out a small smile. He leaned forward and pressed his lips
against Justin's. Justin could taste Brian's warm tears in their short
kiss, the saltiness covering Brian's thin lips. Brian plaited his fingers
through Justin's unruly hair, still giving Justin soft kisses with a
guarantee. Justin began to chew on his lower lip as Brian pulled back.
"I'm gonna go lay down." he repeated, leaving Justin dispirited. Justin ran
a hand up Brian's sweater. "Do you want anything?" he asked softly, hoping
to ease Brian's dispondency. "Yes," Brian replied shyly. Justin's hopes
sparked and his eyes brightened. He gave Brian a crooked smile. "If at all
possible, could you ask God to bring Jennifer back?" Brian requested, the
sorrow raining heavily in his quiet voice. Justin bit down on his lip, his
disillusionment almost drawing blood from his lower lip. His disenchanted
blue eyes shifted to glare at the ground as Brian walked past him and headed
for his old bedroom. Justin held back a cry out to Brian. He was supposed
to stop Brian, but he could not. It wasn't that the idea was beyond Justin,
it was not his time. Brian would come around because Justin had faith he
would.
Angel's loud yawn broke Justin from his comatosed daze. The encore caused
Justin to bat his glassy eyes and turn his focal point on his son as Lea
lifted him from his chair. "Somebody's long overdue for his nap." Lea
commented, cradling the toddler in her arms.
Justin crossed his arms, his bright scarlet lips twisted in a befuddled
state. "There's gotta be something that can snap Brian out of this state."
Justin said aloud. He looked up for a hint of support from Brian's family.
Once again, he was not granted assistance. Not even a strand of hope.
"Leave him alone." Harold III said bluntly and without reservation. Justin
snapped his head in his brother-in-law's direction, discontented by the
array of bitterness dripping throughout Harold III's voice. "Just leave him
alone. He has a right to grieve. Any human does. He doesn't need you to
be some savior that comes to rescue him from his depression." Harold III
boasted, his country-strong voice clouded with despise. Justin swallowed a
vindictive response, his eyes narrowing when looking at his brother-in-law.
He waited to hear a protest from Jackie, but none came. She remained quiet
and unbothered.
"You weren't there to save him when he caught you having an affair with
JC, so why should you try and be Superman now." Harold III added before
finally looking away from Justin. He raised a hand to lay on Lea's
shoulder, but she pulled away quickly and coldly. "Angel needs a nap." she
hissed, shifting her hips before walking out of the kitchen, a shield of
anger surrounding her. Harold III gawked at her as she made her exit before
rotating his head to look at Justin. Justin twiched his nose and shuffled
his feet on the floor. "Excuse me." he said in a quiet hiss. He strolled
out of the kitchen with a lowered head and a thwarted ego.
How many times had Justin been in this position? He was alone, without a
place to turn beside himself and his spirituality. Must he be derided
because of a mistake? Nobody's perfect. Often enough, Justin had to tell
himself the truth and his mistake led to many unhumbling situations and
positions, mainly for himself.
Sitting on the top step, debating on whether or not to visit his husband
in his depressed state, Justin swallowed the truth and let it boil inside
the pit of his stomach. The silence in the upper portion of the house left
Justin uncomfortable and unwilling to move. Brushing a hand over his
coppery-gold locks, Justin frowned. He wanted to return to a state where he
had to pinch himself to awake from the dream of being with Brian and feeling
serenity surround them.
"So we meet again." Harold, Justin's father-in-law, said coyly as he stood
above Justin. Justin glanced up at him with a small, tight smile. "Hey
Dad." Justin said as Harold began to sit down next to Justin at the top of
the stairs. Harold eased down next to Justin and patted his shoulder.
"That's a surprise. Despite the fact that my wife and my eldest son have
been awfully rude to you, you still call me Dad." Harold commented with
sarcasm that resembled Brian's. Justin's smile loosened and he turned his
eyes downward. "Do you want me to call you Harold?" Justin asked, a small,
quiet sigh brushing through his lips. Harold laughed briefly. "Now you
know I don't want you to do that. I understand why they're angry with you
and for a little bit, I was angry too. I don't like it when people hurt my
boys, Justin. Just ask Leighanne. I also don't take kindly to people who
don't respect their wedding vows or their family." Harold informed Justin
with a heavy voice. Justin slouched over. He knew the lecture was coming,
but he feared it. I can really understand why my wife has been so
indifferent with you and I felt the same when I found out son. But then I
had a serious talk with Brian on the phone and I came to realize that he
wouldn't be happier with anyone but you." Harold stated, cautiously drapping
an arm around Justin's shoulders.
Justin's head lifted immediately. He looked over to his father-in-law
with pride streaming through his eyes. "Brian didn't marry you for nothing,
Justin. He knew what he was doing because he prayed about it and he thought
about it and he made the right decision in my mind. You've forgiven him for
some of his mistakes and he's now forgiven you." Harold declared
forthrightly. The pride in Justin's eyes splashed down to his lips,
coverting a smile that only Harold could appreciate. "I love him Dad."
Justin whispered, his gingerly smile speaking the words before he did.
Harold smiled back. "I know you do Justin and I'm glad that you two have
worked this out. You both know what's best for my grandson and sticking
together and making this marriage work is what's best for Lil' Ducky."
Harold grinned. Justin nodded, licking his eyes and letting his eyes fall
on the shadows of the hallway.
"Do you think the others will ever come around and take me back in as the
Justin they once knew?" Justin asked curiously. His eyes glanced down to
his wedding ring, admiring the golden texture and the meaning behind it.
"Yeah, they will. This family knows that the love of your family is
important. I'm sure once they see how much Brian still loves you and how
you're still the loving guy they saw back in Hawaii, they'll come around and
accept you again. I'm not guaranteeing it'll happen right away though."
Harold replied with a definite answer for Justin to aspire for. Justin
nodded gratefully. "As long as they see one day that I still love him more
than myself, then it doesn't matter how long it takes." Justin whispered.
Harold pulled his arm from around Justin's body and sighed. "I'm glad
you, Lea, and Lil' Ducky are here with us. The family's really been
suffering since we found out about Jennifer and I know it's been hard on
Brian to lose her." Harold said, his voice cracking as he spoke. "Anything
I can do, Dad, let me know." Justin spoke quickly when seeing the misery
beginning to enrapture his father-in-law's face. Under the waves of his
fractured appearance, Harold smiled smally. "This would be a lot easier for
me if I saw that Brian was handling this a bit easier. Since I know the
rest of us won't break through, could you go and make him smile? We can't
make him at ease like you do." Harold requested without hesitance. Justin
was set aback by the suggestion and words. "But I don't know how to."
Justin replied quietly. Harold did not allow the disappointment recapture
him. He shook his head and lifted his chin. "You do Justin. Be you and
he'll be him." Harold responded with a key note. Justin nibbled on his
lower lip and gave Harold a small nod. "I'll be me." Justin whispered,
words that boosted his own belief in himself.
The shadows played with every space of the room, except for the streams of
the evning light that shined through the blinds to drap the bed in a safety
blanket of light. As the door cracked open, the shadows sped to safety in
the blackness of corners. Moving a little quicker than honey falling from
its container, he could easily be discerned from the haunting blackness that
circled the room. His scent was noticable and his footsteps were patterned.
Brian stretched on the bed, uncurling his small body as it rested on top
of the covers. He watched the man, his husband, sit on the bed with his
back to Brian. Brian yawned softly like the final chord of a great love
song, quiet but noticable. He attained the strength he needed to scoot
closer to Justin and snuggle his bandanna-covered head to the small of
Justin's back. He looked up when Justin peeked behind himself and smiled
lightly. Brian raised his brow some, his eyes peering from the light of the
room. He stared at the pair of glasses on Justin's face, their clear lenses
catching a spot of light near the bottom. Brian fell back on the bed and
let the quietness of the room consume them.
Justin let his eyes return to the CD jacket he held in his hands. He
stared into the pair of colorful blue eyes he knew too well. He could not
afford to look away, not yet. He let his eyes stray back to the words he
had been reading before, his mind recovering from what he thought was a
misprint. The words written before were kind and thoughtful, but the last
two sections of this set of thank you's were heart-filled. A breath of
beauty was etched into the typed up letters covering the paper. Maybe the
fever of his heart showed too much to his mind and Justin became blinded?
No. The words he read were truthful and they were printed in the CD jacket,
in every CD jacket sold across the world.
Lord, thank You for my two angels; they are what I needed and You placed
them before me for a reason. Lord, thank You for my son. I pray that he
will walk in the right paths and grow to be the man that You have planned
for him to be. I pray that I am a good father to him and that I teach him
as much as I can about being a man and about being a caring person. I love
you Timber. Without you, Dad would not smile as much as he does. I thank
God you came my way and you are what you are and you love me for me.
Thank you Lord for giving me the angel of my life. I am not sure I would be
the man I am without Your blessing, Your gift of him. He has kept me
focused and he has kept my life worth continuing. Lord, thank You for
giving he and I the strength needed to prevail over the enemies that have
come against us. Thank You for making him the man that he is, the man that
I love with more than my heart. He means the world to me. I pray that you
continue to bless our relationship with the gift of love and the music,
words, and touches we use to express it. Through every winding river and
over every rocky mountain, I hope you are by my side baby. This paper with
words on it will never be enough to express what you've given me, what
you've made me. I hope you stay the man you are so that I will never forget
to love you the way I do. Thank you and I love you baby, and our Angel too.
Pulling the glasses from his face, Justin blinked back tears of elation.
He laid the CD jacket and his glasses on the floor of the boundlessly dark
room. He turned around and laid down on the soft bed. He stared into the
eyes of his lover, the eyes that were like the drops of rain covering the
streets of Seattle. They were stained and they were slightly puffy, but
they were still blue, still filled with life.
Brian raised a hand and let his fingers brush the curls in the front of
Justin's head. He opened his eyes further to stare into Justin's ocean blue
eyes. He felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips. "I saw that same
look in your eyes when I let you hear 'Just Like A Cowboy' for the first
time." Brian said, his voice soft but thick with his country accent. Justin
winced out a smile. "I'm walking on a cloud baby." Justin whispered. Brian
giggled lightly, his fingers trailing downward. They ran over Justin's nose
with care, the soft skin cool and comforting. "Where's Timber?" Brian asked
as his eyes followed his fingers lowered. They curved over Justin's chin
and then trickled down Justin's neck. "He's sleep, I think." Justin
replied, his body blazing with Brian's fingers on his skin. Brian nodded as
his tongue flicked over his lips and his fingers toyed with the fabric of
Justin's sweater.
"You aren't here to..." Brian looked up as he spoke, but a hand covered
his lips and muffled the last of his words. "I'm just here to lay with you
Rocky, nothing less. I'm lonely without you down there." Justin replied
briskly, hushing Brian with his words. He lowered his hand and let it rest
on the comforter on the bed. Brian licked his lips again, tasting his
husband on him. Justin grabbed a remote from the center of the bed and
lifted it, his finger clicking a button and the sounds of a piano and a
guitar clouding the soft air in the room. Justin lowered his hand, dropped
the remote, and gave his full attenion to Brian.
Da da da da da, yeah
Da da da da, da, da, da
Ah
Your love is better than ice cream
Better than anything else that I've tried
And your love is better than ice cream
Everyone here knows how to cry
Brian listened to the lyrics with full attention as Justin scooted closer
to him. Justin ran his hand over Brian's chisled cheek with an innocent
smile. He leaned forward and let his lips crush Brian's, his tongue
tentatively tasting the pink lips that belonged to him. Brian closed his
eyes while slowly moving his lips with Justin's. His fingers gripped at
Justin's sweater and he began to tangle his legs with Justin's.
And it's a long way down
It's a long way down
It's a long way down to the place
Where we started from
Do, do, do, do do
Do do do do
Do do, do, oh yeah
Justin pulled away from Brian, his hand still rubbing Brian's cheek.
Brian gave Justin a miniature smile. He sucked on his lower lip and pulled
Justin closer. He sniffled quietly and nuzzled his nose to Justin's.
Justin giggled and moved his hand down to Brian's hip. He let it rest there
while placing light kisses on Brian's lips. He hummed quietly and began to
sing the next few lines to Brian as Brian batted out guilty tears.
Your love is better than chocolate
Better than anything else that I've tried
Oh love is better than chocolate
Everyone here knows how to fight
"I shouldn't be happy that I hit you that night Justin, but if I didn't, I
might be as fucked up as these other people out here... driving drunk and
killing people. I could've easily killed Angel's real parents or Jennifer.
It could be me that's behind bars because I didn't know when not to drink
and when not to drive." Brian boasted out his true feelings, his tears
sliding slowly down his face. He sniffled and closed his eyes tighter,
forcing out his pregnant tears.
Justin kissed a tear as it met Brian's lips. He swallowed Brian in his
arms and nuzzled his chin to Brian's cheek. "Don't feel guilty for feeling
good about that Brian. That's the one time where I want you to feel good
for hitting me." Justin said for encouragement. He kissed the bridge of
Brian's nose, his tender lips lingering there as Brian cried a little harder
in his arms. "You're not the reason Jennifer's not here or that Angel lost
his birth parents. You're the reason we still have Mike and Jacob and you
still have me." Justin said with promising words.
And it's a long way down
It's a long way down
It's a long way down to the place
Where we started from
Do do do do
Ba da ba, ba da da da
Ba da ba, ba da da da
Ba da ba, no, no, no, no, no, yeah
Do do do, do do do
Do do do, do do do
Do do do, do do do
Do do do, do do do...
As Sarah McLachlan came closer to the end of the song, Justin let his lips
trace Brian's face searching for his lips. Brian gladly lifted his head and
let Justin kiss him again, the sanctuary and protection he had been hunting
for found in Justin's ruddy lips. He tangled his fingers in Justin's curls
and cried through his kiss with Justin. Justin pulled back with a sour
smile. "Your love is so much better than ice cream Rocky." Justin whispered
his lips brushing over Brian's. Brian sniffled and pressed out a smile.
His mood was beginning to change, to lighten, because of Justin's soothing.
Justin drew closer to Brian's lips and flicked the tip of his tongue over
Brian's lips. Brian moaned softly, clutching onto Justin and closing his
eyes again. "Oh babe, don't get me hard now." Brian pleaded as the song
began to repeat through the room. Justin grinned and snuggled to his
husband. He pulled his leg upward and his thigh brushed against Brian's
crotch. He felt the thick erection pounding through Brian's jeans.
Justin kissed Brian's swollen lips once more, his fingers tracing the
curves of Brian's face. He let his thigh move back and forth along Brian's
covered erection, enticing another strangled moan from Brian. "I'm sorry
Rocky. Do you want to go get rid of it?" Justin asked. Brian shook his
head, his teeth scraping along his bottom lip. "It'll go away as soon as
you get your leg away from there, you bad boy." Brian responded, his eyes
blinking open as a grin crossed over his lips. Justin snickered and
gradually pulled his leg from between Brian's.
Brian sighed and wrapped his arms around Justin's waist. He nuzzled his
face to the crook of Justin's neck and let the music lully him to another
world. "Can I just lay here with you until Angel wakes up?" Brian
requested, a plea in his soft-spoken voice. Justin kissed the top of
Brian's head and held him tightly. "Sure baby." he whispered back. "Thanks
Bean." Brian said before kissing Justin's neck. He snuggled into Justin's
body and listened as 'Ice Cream' made its final encore through the room.
Harold III leaned in the doorway of the guest bedroom. His eyes ran over
the bed where his nephew slept nestled under his blanket, his hair dishelved
but his face full of peace. Harold let a small smile touch his lips while
staring at his resting nephew. 'Angel, if things were different... if your
father didn't do what he did, then maybe this Christmas would be a little
more memorable for you. I don't know what's wrong with my brother, but he
can't just let your Daddy get away with hurting him like that.' Harold III
thought, his arms beginning to cross and his eyes slowly squinting.
Lea brushed by Harold III, exiting the room while pinning her hair up with
a clip. Harold III quickly rotated his head in his girlfriend's direction,
watching her breeze down the hall without stopping. "Hey." Harold III
hissed out, rushing down the hall after her. Lea stopped at the top of the
stairs, her hand clutching the railing but her head turning to look at him.
"Yes?" she said, her true blue eyes peering at Harold III. Harold III
slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him and away from
the steps. "Why are you so mad at me? What did I do?" he wondered, his
confusion taunting his expression. Lea pulled a stray strand of her behind
her ear and rolled her eyes. She began to move backward, but Harold III
held her. "Please don't make our first Christmas together a bad one."
Harold III pleaded with her. Lea pursed her lips, the same glossy pink lips
that once kissed Harold III as he cried over the pain his brother suffered
through. "Then don't make it bad for me or for your brother and his
family." Lea hissed.
She finally pulled away from her boyfriend and turned her back to him.
She should have walked down the steps and found something more enjoyable to
do. She could have ran away and found solace in a conversation with Harold
III's parents. All the things she could have done, should have done, she
didn't.
His hands laid on her shoulders and began to massage them. He knew what
he had done wrong, but he did not feel it was wrong. "He's hurt my brother
Lea. I don't think he should... I don't think it's right for me to pretend
like it didn't hurt all of us." Harold III stated. Lea folded her arms and
shook her head briskly. "Your brother has forgiven him, baby. You can't
punish Justin for something that is between Brian and Justin. Hurting him
will not make anything right and it won't make me, Justin, Brian or your
nephew want to be aroudn you." Lea insisted, her maturity flourishing.
Harold III lowered his hands until they were resting on Lea's hips. He
sighed and lowered his chin until it was snuggled into Lea's shoulder.
"Angel doesn't understand the words I speak to his father." Harold III
debated lightly. "But he understands when either of his fathers are hurting
and he doesn't like it." Lea noted in a lowered voice.
Harold III lifted his chin and furrowed his brow. This was not the
conversation he wanted to share with his girlfriend. He didn't want to have
to crawl away in the end and fear speaking words he desired to speak. That
was not his nature, not normally.
"Honey, move in with me." Harold III spoke with a new found hesitance. He
had considered a suitable way of presenting the inquiry to his girlfriend,
but for some reason it did not apply now. He felt Lea's sudden tenseness
and the answer started to reveal itself without words. "I love you. We've
been seeing each other for almost a year now and it just seems natural for
us to take the next step." Harold III began to argue kindly. The stillness
from his girlfriend did not support what he wanted.
"But if you don't want to, just say it." Harold III said with arrogance,
pulling away from Lea with a suddeness. He slipped back and leaned against
the wall of the hall, his eyes hooded and his expression heavy with
dissatisfaction.
Her boyfriend's piano-like march caused Lea to spin on her heels. She
uncrossed her arms and stared at Harold III, her discouragment detectable
through her eyes and brow. "Baby, it's only been close to a year. You want
us to move in together already?" Lea wondered with disillusionment. "My
brother married Justin after only being with him for eleven months." Harold
III pointed out, his voice lowered. "Your brother was head over heels in
love with Justin in a week. It took me two months to fall in love with you.
That's a serious difference." Lea noted. Harold III kicked his foot
against the carpet with anger. "And?" Harold III mumbled out while lowering
his head. He could not cope with the situation, the rejection. "And what
about your nephew? What about Angel? You just want me to abandon my job as
his nanny and move here to Kentucky? And my family? And my friends?" Lea
asked with a strong argument, one that Harold III felt helpless against.
His mind begged for him to plead the fifth and call for a mistrial, but his
heart was too stubborn. "It shouldn't be all about you Lea. It should be
about us. Brian and Justin can find a new nanny and you'll see your family
whenever you want to." Harold III shot back, his words becoming heartfelt.
Lea slipped her hands into the back pocket of her jeans and licked her
lips. She was fighting it. "I can't leave Angel like that. I can't leave
Brian and Justin like that. They're like my second family. They allow me
to be apart of their world just about everyday. Anything they do with
Angel, more-than-likely they want me to be there to enjoy it too. The other
day they took me with them and we took a picture together, all four of us.
I felt like I was a Littrell." Lea gushed, her face flushing and her eyes
being filled with subtle signs of hurt.
Harold III leaned off the wall and approached Lea. He ran a hand over her
cheek, pulling a strand of her to her face and slipping it behind her ear.
His care was there and it was evident to Lea. "You're not Angel's mother
though. What happens when he gets older? Brian and Justin aren't always
going to need you, but I will. You can be a Littrell, an official Littrell,
but that's with me.. not them." Harold III stated. Lea lowered her eyes and
sighed. "I love you Harry, but Angel's like a nephew... he's like a little
brother to me and I don't want to leave him yet. Not yet." Lea whispered,
stepping closer until Harold III scooped her up in his arms. She laced her
arms around his neck and laid her head on his chest. Harold III kissed the
top of her head and closed his eyes. "I can wait Lea, but you've got to
remember that you're not his mother, you're just the nanny. My brother
wants you to be happy and I'm sure he knows you're happy with me." Harold
III spoke softly and ran his hand over her hair, holding her close until he
knew he'd have to let her go.
Justin tightened the navy blue bandanna on his head while pacing around
the living room. He was still dressed in black, a suit that was tailored
for his charm, and an unsure expression held his face in its position. His
cellular phone was cradled between his head and his shoulder as he losened
his tie and listened to the gleeful words that Bryce Winters spat out.
Justin molded his face into an expression only Brian would understand and
held back a sigh. It was Christmas Eve and despite the fact that Justin
held a strong friendly love for Bryce, his words were not cheering up
Justin's spirit.
"Did you and Brian get to do anything after the funeral?" Bryce wondered,
stirring the subject to lighten up Justin's somber tone. Justin uncuffed
his sleeves and slowly rolled them up while debating over Bryce's question.
"Not really. I tried to get him to go get a few more Christmas presents,
but when we tried, the press found us. So we just came back here." Justin
responded with a weary tone. "Yeah, Lance was telling me about the messages
he's read on the Internet that says you and Brian are in Kentucky with
Angel. I guess some people saw ya'll at the airport." Bryce said, prompting
a sigh from Justin.
"Man, Bryce you're starting to sound like your boyfriend now. 'Ya'll'?"
Justin giggled, lightening his mood. Bryce laughed along with Justin,
hoping to keep Justin's spirits high in his trying period. "Shut up. How's
my God-son?" Bryce wondered, his laughter slowly fading. Justin perked up
some and scratched at his goatee. "He's good. He's been having a real good
time with his grandparents and his uncle, but he doesn't like seeing his Dad
so sad." Justin responded, his voice thick with vivacity. He cleared his
throat softly, taking a few steps around the living room. "I don't like
seeing him sad either." Justin added with a lament-filled groan. "He'll
come around, Justin, don't worry. Brian can't stay like this forever. He's
a naturally happy guy." Bryce assured his friend. Justin secretively nodded
while praying Bryce's words were true.
Justin turned his eyes on the entrance to the living room where he watched
Brian pass with a mug of coffee in his hands and his head hanging low.
Justin licked his lips, holding back a cry for Brian as Brian slumped
through the house. "Justin? You there buddy?" Lance's voice came ringing
into the phone, shaking Justin from his thoughts. "Oh, hey there Lansten.
What's going on?" Justin chimed. Lance laughed lowly before responding to
Justin's chipper tone. "Everything's good around here. My family is head
over heels with Bryce, which is nice and I'm just waiting for Christmas so
that I can give Bryce my present." Lance boasted, an obvious smile on his
lips. "Something special?" Justin wondered while scratching behind his ear.
"Mm hmmm. Something really special." Lance beamed into the phone. Justin
smirked at his friend's notion. "Is it something you can give him in front
of your family?" Justin laughed out, an underlying joke in his words. Lance
laughed along with him. "Yes, Justin, it is. I can't tell you what it is
though because he's standing here staring at me with those adorable eyes of
his." Lance cooed. Justin rolled his eyes quickly. "Get a room." Justin
giggled. "We've got one, thank you very much Mr. Littrell." Lance chimed.
Justin ended his laughter shortly when looking into the entrance of the
living room. Jackie stared at him with discouraging eyes. The eyes spoke
jaded words to Justin, ones that caused him to clam up for a second. "We
should go out some time." Justin finally spoke, fighting against his fear of
his mother-in-law's reaction. Justin turned his eyes from Jackie and felt
her presence escape the room. "Me and you?" Lance wondered curiously.
Justin laughed heartedly. "No, the four of us country boy. Me, you, Brian,
and Bryce; we should all go out together. I think it'd be nice to sit down
with a normal couple." Justin suggested with a chipper voice. His words
sent Lance aback. Justin's voice was uncommon to Lance, almost foreign.
Had it really been that long since he and Justin had shared a close to
relationship? Could it be they were more like associates and less like
friends?
"Yeah... that'd be nice Justin. That would be real nice. Me and Bryce
never get to go out with anyone else except for Mandy and Bryan." Lance
said, his voice lofty. Justin let himself smile with content. "I know how
that feels. We mostly go out with Joey and Britney." Justin smiled out. It
was never too late to try again. "I'd really like to go out with you and
Brian, Justin. Anytime." Lance added with a humbled tone, his smile
shinning through the phone. Just like a William Orbit song, Lance's voice
warmed something inside of Justin that was unexpected. It was friendship.
"It's funny that you asked us to go out with ya'll. I just talked to Nick
today and he was suggesting that me and Bryce go out with him and JC." Lance
commented, his tone changing mechanically. Justin arched his eyebrow with
keen interest. "You talked to Nick?" he wondered. "Yeah, actually, I did.
Don't ask my why, but all of the sudden I feel the need to work on my
relationships with people. So I called to try and talk to JC, but he was
out with Tyler and Heather. Instead I talked to JC's parents and Nick."
Lance explained. Justin began to nibble on his lower lip with concern.
"And what did they say?" Justin asked. "JC's parents? We just talked about
Nick and JC's marriage and how they're really shaky about it. They're also
upset that they weren't at the wedding, but they say they love Nick and will
adjust." Lance replied in a distant way. "Do they still wish it was you
instead of Nick?" Justin pondered, his knowledge of the Chasez's thoughts on
JC and Lance. A sigh swam through the phone. Justin did not have to wait
on an answer. He knew. "I got the sense that they did, but I ignored it.
I can't be that to them now that I have Bryce." Lance finally responded.
Justin lowered his eyes, but his ears perked up. He could hear Angel's
voice and it distracted him momentarily. "And is Nick okay?" Justin asked,
his feet shifting in a new direction. He walked with light footsteps. He
flicked his wrist to adjust his wath as he walked out of the living room.
"He's doing fine, I guess. He seems nervous about being at the house
without JC, but what can a guy do?" Lance laughed. Justin released a
reserved laugh while his eyes lifted to watch Angel.
Angel stood in front of the glass door leading to the deck in the
backyard. Angel pressed his body fittingly to the glass, his legs wobbly as
he stood. "Dad! Dad! Me!" Angel whined, hitting his small hand against
the glass. "Lance, I'm going to have to call you and Bryce later on, okay?
I have to talk to Brian." Justin said, his voice brisk. "Yeah, sure. I
understand Justin. Get back with us." Lance agreed, ending their
conversation.
Justin placed the phone on the table while his eyes peered at the picture
before him. His cerulean eyes stared at Brian outside on the deck, a bottle
of champagne in his hands and his ice-blue eyes focused on it. The dour
face Brian wore burdened Justin as he took quiet steps toward his son.
Angel continued to stare at his father from behind the glass door. His
desire to be outside with Brian was felt in the echoing calls he gave for
Brian. They were separated not only physically, but also mentally and
emotionally.
The label had words scripted in gold, but the color was untrue, just as
Brian's thoughts were untrue. He sniffled quietly, small droplets clouded
his view as he stared at the long shape of the bottle and the liquid
stirring inside. 'How could they have this in the house? Why the hell
would they keep it after what's been done?' Brian mulled. He shook the
bottle slowly, watching as the liquid stirred like the emotions in his
heart.
"She's supposed to be here. She wasn't supposed to die so young... like
that." Brian whimpered out, the taunting tears finally descending to his
carved cheeks. It still did not bring her back. His words did not end the
misery her family endured, nor the pain he suffered through. It merely
slowed the progression from depression to understanding.
"My son's parents, now my cousin..." he grumbled, lifting the bottle into
the air. "You nearly took away the man I love more than me." Brian added
with a hiss. He sniffled quickly before lobbing the champagne bottle across
the deck, its dark-colored glass shattering against the glossy wooden floor.
Like hard rain drops, the liquid splashed across the edge of the deck,
dripping down to the floor below. The large chunks of glass rocked back and
forth on the deck, waiting to tip over and die on the deck. The champagne
had no time to plead its case, look for defense for its crime. The
conviction was immediate and the sentence was evident.
Brian was like the bottle; shattered. He sat in the corner of the deck,
sniffling with tears falling at a constant rate. He tried to wipe away the
hot tears scorching his face, but there were too many. His emotions was
holding him in this sleeping state. Just a neverending numbness dawning
him. He was breaking down and he could not handle it. He had lost the will
to remain cautious and quiet like autumn leaves swept away in the wind. He
prayed for a calmness in his heart, for the storm to darken and leave.
His body was not too numb. He could feel the arms wrap around his upper
body and scoop him up. He felt a kiss on his tear-coated cheek. He
squeezed his eyes shut and let more tears run their course as he snuggled to
the body holding him. He let the comfort wash over him and sail him back to
sanity.
"It's not your fault, Brian. You're sober... you're here because you're
supposed to be." Justin whispered to Brian, kissing the top of his head as
he cried helplessly. Even as Brian tried to muster the courage to speak,
the tears swallowed him and wired his jaw shut. He hated the evil in the
situation, the pain that kept him weary. He clung to Justin's body like the
shirt Justin wore. He refused to let go until the tears had left him fully.
"I love you Rocky, don't do this." Justin pleaded softly, holding Brian a
little tighter.
Brian felt another set of arms hugging him, holding him safely. "I love
you Da." Angel said happily. Brian lifted his head quickly, sniffling hard
before staring at Angel's jolly face. He heard the gasp from Justin's lips,
but Brian did not stray his eyes from Angel. "He... he..." Justin
stuttered. Brian smiled brightly before snatching Angel up into his arms.
Brian placed a soft kiss on the top of Angel's head. "Thank you my Angel."
Brian said, holding the squirming boy with life returning to his body.
Justin smiled and kissed Brian's temple. Together. Close; it was all they
needed.
The night ran away and the morning covet attention on a special day. The
heavy mood in the Littrell house had lifted to celebrate the holiday and an
early breakfast, the family began to gather in the living room, snuggled up
together with broad smiles and merry laughter.
Justin adjusted his Abercrombie & Fitch shirt as he as walked down the
steps toward the living room. He could hear the frenziedly laughter
bouncing from the living room to the top of the steps. He hugged himself
with a timid smile as he reached the bottom steps, his bare feet gliding
across the floor. The cuff of his jeans dragged on the floor as he peeked
into the living room to view the family sharing an important moment in their
year.
His bandanna-covered head did not have to peak into the living room long.
"There's my hubby. Get in here." Brian called out to him, his
country-swirled accent bright and cheery. Justin felt a chipper grin tug at
the corners of his mouth as he slinked into the living room. "Man, could
you hurry up so we can open our presents already?" Harold III brooded.
Justin ducked his head when hearing his brother-in-law's words. Harold III
rolled his eyes at Justin's innocence, but a hard slap on his thigh caused
his mind to drift from Justin. His eyes shot to Lea, who smiled at him with
a new tenderness. "Sorry, arm spasm." she grinned, nudging Harold III.
Harold III attempted to press out a smile while rubbing the stingy pain in
his leg. "Come on in Justin, we're about to start opening the presents."
Jackie advised in a mild tone, ushering her son-in-law to move swifter.
Brian kept a steady smile as he watched Justin's steady steps toward him.
It was a sweet, sweet dream for him. The taste in his heart was
unforgettable. Just the blueness of Justin's eyes on this day kept him
satiated. He was starting something new in his mind and his heart. He had
something on his mind that kept him warm and for some reason, Justin would
not stop breathing that soft love into his body. Maybe it was too much, but
Brian didn't mind.
Brian patted on his left thigh with tenderness aching in his eyes. "Sit
here." he requested as Justin reached him. Justin hesitated at the idea.
He did not want to be observed, ridiculed for showing Brian too much
affection. He prayed the eyes of everyone would not stare at him as he
cuddled to Brian. He didn't want words of disgust dictated to him through
squinted eyes.
His decisions were too slow and debated. His spirit followed the path it
was meant to follow and he found a comfortable seat between Brian's legs,
his body immediately snuggling close to Brian while eyes watched them.
Whether they were jealous, disgusted or happy, Justin did not care. He let
Brian drape his strong arms around his shoulders and a lifting smile formed
across Justin's face. "Well, it looks like everyone's comfortable now, so
we can start." Harold smiled toward his son and son-in-law while his
grandson sat in his lap. There were no objections from the others, none
that were loud enough for Harold to hear.
Within ten minutes time, wrapping paper had been splattered across the
living room floor and there were still more presents to open. "Brian, this
one is for you." Jackie said while handing Brian a small wrapped present.
Brian leaned forward with Justin still between his legs admiring the new
two-way pager he got from Lea. Brian stared at the wrapped gift with
curiosity. "It's from, uhm, him." Jackie said carelessly, signalling toward
Justin. Justin lifted his eyes quickly while watching the transaction
between Brian and his mother. Justin bit down on his lower lip and twisted
in Brian's lap to watch him open the present.
With quick fingers, Brian tore into the package and stared at a black box.
It was the kind jewelry usually came in. Brian's eyes brightened as he
pulled off the top of the box and searched for the contents on the inside.
Justin watched as the square piece of cotton took flight, signalling that
Brian had found his prize.
Brian grinned widely while pulling out the silver chain from the box. He
held it up, admiring it in the blitzing light of the morning. "That's
gorgeous. What's it say on the pendent Brian?" Memaw, Brian's grandmother,
asked with a broad Southern accent. Brian took a look at the circular
pendent hanging from the bracelet. His eyes focused on the words inscribed
into the plate. He licked his lips with a soft smile before clearing his
throat. "It's from Psalm 71:7. It says, 'I am as a wonder unto many; but
Thou art my strong refuge.'" Brian said, his voice encased in his happiness.
"That's a good verse. Good pick Justin." Papaw, Brian's grandfather,
noted. Brian smirked before letting his eyes focus on Justin. He gave
Justin a quick peck on the nose before encircling his arms around Justin's
waist. "Thank you Bean." he whispered, nuzzling his face to Justin's neck.
Justin smiled proudly at his accomplishment.
"I tell ya, that Justin is a sure fire winner for Brian." Papaw cheered
while admiring the cuddling couple. Eyes began to fall on Brian and Justin
as Justin placed the bracelet around Brian's wrist and connected it. "Sure
fire way to break your heart again." Harold III remarked while helping Angel
tear into another present. "That's enough son. Shut up." his father hissed
at him. "I'm just telling the truth." Harold III whined to his father as
the attention began to focus on him.
Passionate drums pounded in Brian's head, the thumping angering him. He
peered his eyes at his brother while his body tensed up. Towering down like
endless drops of rain, Brian was drenched in his anger. "No, it's not true.
Stop trying to hurt my husband, Harold III. Now. This is my family and
not yours. If I want my husband to feel guilty for what he's done, I'll let
him feel that way. It's not your job and never will be. When you get your
own spouse, your own child, and have a good family like mine, then maybe
you'll have some say in what goes on between me and Justin. But since you
don't have any of that, don't you are try to be me and attack my husband
with your words. He's tired of it and so am I," Brian finally lashed out at
his brother, remaining seated under Justin.
Justin shook a little when hearing the anger racing through Brian's voice.
He grabbed his husband's hand and held it tightly to calm him. He was
unsure of how to handle the situation, but he took it like the wind shifted.
"You too, mom. He's your son-in-law, not a stranger. He deserves to be
appreciated for the good father and husband that he is. Don't pretend like
you don't love him now for my sake because I still love him." Brian added,
his eyes locked on his mother.
Jackie gapped at him, unsure of how to respond to her son's outburst. She
gave Justin a quick glance and watched as he hid his eyes from her. Her
conscience finally began to take form. "I'm sorry. I just... I just don't
want to see this continue if it's not right." Jackie sighed out. Justin
laid his head on Brian's shoulder and kept his expression quiet. "Darlin',
trust me, it's right." Harold spoke in defense of his son's family.
Lea smiled sweetly, grabbing her boyfriend's hand and petting it to ease
his stiffness. Harold III furrowed his brow and turned his head away from
Brian and Justin. "Don't be so tense." Lea whispered to him, hoping to calm
him. Harold III sighed heavily, curting his eyes at the floor.
Time dwindled away and bodies were moving in a new direction, building an
air of respite. "Are you sure you and Justin don't want to come down to the
school with us for their Christmas festival?" Jackie wondered as she
scurried to get her coat over shoulders. Brian leaned against the wall and
watched as his father assisted his grandparents in walking out of the house.
The door rustled in breaths of cold air, causing Brian to hold on himself
for heat. "Yes, I'm sure mom. I think me and Justin need an hour or so to
relax and collect ourselves. We're leaving soon and we haven't had a chance
to just breathe before we head back to work." Brian responded, his voice
burried in solace. Jackie nodded as Harold III and Lea passed by, Angel
tucked into Lea's arms with a quiet grin. "Okay sweetie, I understand. You
sure you don't mind Lil' Ducky comin'?" Jackie asked. Brian nodded, his
dimples forming as he smiled. "He loves to watch the kids. I'm sure he'll
have a good time." Brian said. Jackie smiled heartily. She buttoned up her
coat and glanced at the door. "We'll be back in a few hours sweetie. You
and Justin have fun here." Jackie grinned, turning her eyes on her son
again. "Take care of my boy." Brian requested, his words bringing out a
loving smirk from his mother.
It was good enough. The family disappeared from the house and Brian sat
alone in his room, an involved smile on his face. He reclined on the bed,
his hands behind his head and his feet together. He was comfortable and he
was patient. That's all he could be as he waited for his husband to return
from exiting the room.
His lively blue eyes circled the room as the door peeped open and Justin
slipped back inside. He let an innocent expression wash over his face as
Justin walked over to the telvision and clicked it on. "Aaaww, come on
Just, I'm not really in the mood to watch the TV." Brian complained as
Justin pushed a video tape into the VCR. Justin ignored him and pressed the
play button, causing a blue screen to pop up on the television.
Justin scampered over to the bed and laid down next to Brian. "You're
probably in the mood for something else right now, but I'm not." Justin
smirked. He ran his fingers up and down Brian's thigh with a teasing grin.
Brian sighed, but kept the smile on his lips. "Besides, this is our present
from Nikki and the girls. They said not to watch it until Christmas and
I've been dying to know what it is." Justin added, a precomposed smile on
his pouty red lips. Brian slipped an arm around Justin's shoulders and
focused his eyes on the screen.
Five women finally appeared on the screen, all wearing their own candid
smile in a darkened room. "Hey Brian and Justin." they said in harmony, as
if cued by the person behind the camera. "What's up guys? How's your
Christmas been?" Danay was the first to speak with a brilliant grin. Brian
and Justin giggled lowly. "I bet you're dying for everyone to go away so
you can get some nookie." Danay added with a wink. Brian laughed loudly,
mumbling a quick message too low for Justin to hear. "Danay! That's not
what this video's about." Jenny gushed, the blush in her cheeks rising.
"Anyway, hey guys. Uhm, you probably think we're cheap for giving you this
video instead of going out to buy you presents, but..." Nikki began to speak
while the others laughed at Danay's actions. "But then you'd probably be
right." Veronica jumped in, causing the others to laugh a little more.
Brian and Justin soon joined them, cuddling a little closer.
"But if you thought different and actually watch this video, you'll see
that it's better than what we could've bought you." Jenny insisted. "Yeah,
plus we've got a bunch of presents for Angel at Lynn's house." Mandy added.
The others silenced the laughter for a moment. "So sit back, cuddle up and
watch this video." Danay beamed. "It was made especially for you two. We
hope you like it because we didn't know what else to do and we all sat down
and thought this would be a cute idea." Nikki said, her smirk broad. "Trace
helped with this too! It's from him too!" Jenny noted loudly from behind
Veronica. "Merry Christmas guys. This present's for you." Veronica finally
said and the camera faded to black.
'Dedicated to Brian & Justin Littrell...
Merry Christmas from Innosense & Trace Ayala'
As the words disappeared, a spotlight flashed on in the black room,
glowing on five chairs all turned in different directions. A hip-hop lite
beat came scratching in mixed with the sounds of an acoustic guitar and
synthesizers, making a laidback beat that was easy to dance to.
The ladies of Innosense walked out of the blackness, each to their own
chair. Nikki stood behind the chair in the middle while Danay and Mandy
stood behind the chairs on the left and Jenny and Veronica stood near the
chairs on the right. They all snapped their fingers to the beat with
decorative outfits and headet microphones on.
Nikki adorned a red glittery top with striped-blue pants on. She grabbed
the back of her chair and snapped her fingers to the instrumental. Veronica
joined her, her curly afro wild while she wore a white no-sleeve vest, dark
pink top, and blue jeans decorated with multi-color cotton balls.
Following Veronica and Nikki, Jenny snapped her fingers to the
instrumental. Her shredded top was orange and white while her jeans were
painted American-flag-style. Her hair was now streaked blonde and orange, a
style that only she could love.
Mandy adjusted her headset before joining the others in snapping. She
styled a sparkly red and white top, one arm bare and the other arm covered
with a sleeve. Her dark blue jeans were faded at the bottom and her blonde
hair was barely streaked red on a few of the tips. She glanced to Danay who
snapped along with the rest of the group. Danay's hair was braided down the
first half and the rest of her black hair moved freely. She wore a spangly
black top over a light blue see-through shirt. The see-through shirt had
holes running up the arms and stopped to reveal her mid-drift. Her
hip-hugging pants were spray-painted different colors with glittery shapes
all over them.
So together
So so together (Ooh)
So together
So so together (Nikki, sing girl)
Nikki began to dance from behind her chair as the others began to dance
around their chairs. All but Nikki found a seat in the chairs, exotically
dancing to the remixed beat. They crossed their legs, snapped their
fingers, and smiled with content. Nikki smiled widely as she began to croon
out the first verse of the song. As she did, one-by-one the girls stood
from their chairs and began to spin them around so that they could switch
positions.
[Nikki]
Boy, you've been away too long
Funny, cause our love's so strong
When you're gone, it's keeps me hangin' on
And on, keeps me inspired
And it's written in your face
The way you feel everyday
I hope it never changes
You know I've got to say I
Nikki found her way to her chair for only a moment before standing. She
tipped the chair forward and danced around it as she held the last note of
the bridge. She kicked her chair backwards and twisted her hips to the
melody.
The others stood from their chairs and pushed them back, rushing forward
to stand in a line with Nikki. They all smiled as the beat began to rotate
for the chorus. Their choreography was in tune and in sync. Jenny and
Mandy began to dance backward so that they split in to tow rows during the
chorus. Nothing changed; they all still smiled.
Can't stop missin' you
Only meant to be kissin' you
Can't you feel me wishin' we were
So together baby
Can't stop hopin' time will fly
And we'll never say goodbye
Cause forever, you and me
So together baby (You and I)
Uh, uh, yeah
Hey
During the chorus of the song, a variety of pictures began to flash on the
screen. The first picture was of Brian and Justin dancing at their wedding.
Following it was a picture of Brian and Justin kissing during their
anniversary party. A small video clip of Brian and Justin backstage at an
*NSYNC concert began to play, the scene showing Brian and Justin cuddling
during a brief intermission. Each segment was corrodinated with the beat,
even the photos of Brian and Justin during the Backstreet Boys & *NSYNC
tour. The ones showing Brian and Justin during their dating period and a
small picture of Brian and Justin laughing together at the hospital blinked
in before the screen returned to the girls of Innosense.
Mandy brushed her hair back and walked to the front of the group. The
others turned their backs to the camera and began to dance slowly to the
changing melody. Mandy licked her lips and winked at the camera. She
pushed strands of her hair behind her ears before singing the second verse
with her strong but soft voice.
[Mandy]
Night and day, I say a prayer
(Say a, say a prayer)
That in the morning, you're lyin' right there (Uh huh, woo)
And you're never ever
Gonna go nowhere
For the rest of our lives (Our lives)
Mandy took a few steps backward and let Jenny strut up to the front. She
joined the others, dancing in a line with precession. Jenny smiled
wickedly, tossing her short hair back. She closed her eyes to belt out the
bridge, soon being joined by Mandy to harmonized the final pieces of it.
[Jenny]
It's a precious love (That's right)
And it's sent from above
[Mandy]
The whole world should know
Cause I know I
Again, photographs began to run across the screen, blacking out
Innosense's routine. The first of the pictures was of Angel as an infant, a
picture Brian attained through the adoption agency. Next, a picture of
Angel with his parents during his birthday party flashed on the screen. A
video clip of Angel and Brian sleeping played before a picture of Justin and
Angel laying on the floor reading together took over its spot.
The tight vocals by the girls continued to play as the next picture of
Angel crawling came up. Following it was a video clip of Justin singing to
his son in a rocking chair and then a picture of Angel eating cake came up.
All of the pictures began to bring memories back to the two men watching the
video, almost pulling up tears from their eyes.
Innosense appeared once more. They began to push their chairs forward
while singing the hook of the song. Again, Nikki stood in the middle while
the others were on each side of her. Smiles were still bright and spirits
were still high as they performed their best redition of their second
single.
So together, so so together
(You and I)
(Here we go ya'll)
So together, so...
They all walked around their chairs and sat in them as Nikki sang the
third verse. They crossed their legs and then uncrossed them, thrusting
their hips to the beat. In an organized fashion, one-by-one, they spun to
the side of their chairs and stood from them, dropping to their knees and
spinning their chairs in front of their faces. It was hard work for each of
them, but no one messed up. No one ruined the moment.
[Nikki]
Like a burnin' in my heart
I'm callin' out ya name
You made a fire start
Now get into the flame (Yeah, come on)
You came into my life
I'll never be the same
But baby that's all, baby that's all
Baby that's all right (Veronica)
Veronica ran to the middle of the group, snatching up Nikki's chair and
swinging it in front of her. She sat down in the chair backwards and
resting her arms on the back of the chair with a broad grin while the others
grabbed their chairs. They pushed their chairs to one side and tipped them
over. They rotated places, each grabbing a fallen chair and pulling it back
to its position as Veronica chanted out her rap.
[Veronica]
Keep this love together is our job
Nobody knew it'd be this strong
Holdin' through fairweather and all the rain
Can't nobody come to take this away
You've got a fire burnin' through my heart
Every night, I sit and pray in the dark
Cause I know we'll last forever
Cause me and you, we're so together (Here we go ya'll)
Nikki and Veronica changed positions with Nikki returning to the middle of
the group. She slapped hands with Veronica before standing behind her chair
with the others. They danced in a small area, sweat trickling from their
faces but smiles still etched into their lips. They all took a large step
and stood on their chairs as Nikki and Danay sang the final bridge of the
song.
[Nikki & Danay]
Sending out my love (My love)
Gotta get a message through (Mmmm)
It's a crazy thing, a crazy crazy crazy
But what else can I do?
You know I can't...
As the girls began to clap and sing the final chorus of the song, a quick
series of photos bounced onto the screen. The first few showed Brian and
Justin as babies. They both smiled candidly for the camera as children,
resembling their handsome features now. Next came pictures of Brian and
Justin at various parties and then pictures of the two kissing on various
occasions.
"Aaaww, I remember that one!" Justin cooed as he and Brian stared at a
picture of the two slow dancing at their wedding anniversary. "Remember
that?" Brian nudged Justin as a video clip of Brian singing 'Just' to Justin
began to play. Justin smiled deeply, interlocking he and Brian's fingers as
a picture of the two kissing in Hawaii rolled on.
One last picture of Brian and Justin holding a sleeping Angel in a hotel
room flashed up before the girls of Innosense were shown again, humming out
an acapella of the song; Mandy and Nikki handled the ad-libs.
So together (Brian doesn't wanna be missin' him)
So so together (Justin just wants to be kissin' him)
So together (Oh yeah, they're so together)
So so together (Hey yeah)
So together (Brian and Justin, yeah)
So so together (Brian and Justin, hey yeah)
So together
So... so together, Just and Bri
Merry Christmas lovebirds!
The video faded to black with a final picture of Brian and Justin kissing
at their wedding ceremony and a small picture of Angel smiling at the bottom
of the screen.
Brian exhaled lightly, an adoring smile on his thin pink lips. He pulled
Justin closer and nuzzled his nose to Justin's cheek. "That was so nice of
them." Brian whispered as Justin drapped a leg over Brian's legs. Justin
nodded, his mind still on the pictures shown throughout the video. He
rubbed a hand along Brian's cheek, his eyes slowly closing as Brian began to
kiss on his cheek. "Babe, I'm scared to say this to you, but... I want to
adopt again." Justin said softly as Brian's lips worked their way to his
neck.
Brian lifted his lips and kissed Justin's cheek. He turned Justin's head
to his and began to nuzzle his nose to Justin's. "Don't be afraid to say
that to me, JuJu. I want to adopt another baby again too." Brian responded
quietly, brushing his fingers over Justin's bandanna. Justin raised his
brow with surprise. "You do?" Justin wondered as Brian started to kiss his
lips. The brief kisses only held Brian momentarily. "Yes, I do. I've been
thinking about that since we talked about it back in July. It's not such a
bad idea now. Angel's getting older and we've been able to handle being
parents so far. Why not give another child a chance to have parents?" Brian
agreed before plundering Justin's lips with wetter kisses.
The candy sweet kisses Brian placed on Justin's lips pulled out an
unavoidable moan from Justin. He arched his back, pressing his groin into
Brian. "So we agree that we want another baby, right?" Justin asked between
kisses. Brian slowed himself and with a smile he gave Justin a final kiss.
"Yes, JuJu, we want another baby. But right now?" Brian wondered, pushing
Justin's bandanna off with his hand so that his fingres could intertwine in
Justin's mess of curls.
Justin stared at Brian's deep blue eyes and then smirked. "Not right now,
but soon Rocky." Justin whispered, a plea in his voice. Brian nodded,
licking his lips to taste Justin again. "A little brother or sister for
Angel would do him some good." Brian added with a tepid smile. Justin
rolled his eyes and gave Brian a light shove. "You're so silly." Justin
sighed out as Brian kissed his shoulder.
Brian giggled quietly as Justin sat up in the bed. Justin got to his
knees and then turned to Brian. "Okay, I have another present for you."
Justin chimed, tapping his husband's shoulder. Brian looked up with
curiosity, his face still flushed red from laughter. "You mean another one
besdies the fifty or so you got for me downstairs?" Brian wondered, raising
his brow. Justin rolled his eyes again before nodding. "Yes, another one."
Justin exhaled out while lifting his shitr and peeling it off. Brian
grinned deviously as Justin dropped the shirt onto the bed. "Oh, you got me
some nookie for Christmas. Well that's a cheap present." Brian teased
Justin as Justin began to unzip his jeans. Justin's hand stopped and his
eyes peered at Brian. "No I didn't get you any nookie." Justin sneered,
finishing his actions. He peeled open the flap of his jeans and pulled them
just below his hips. "And my sex isn't cheap either. It's good quality
shit." Justin added while tugging down the left side of his briefs.
"Are you wearing a G-string?!" Brian called out while staring at the
clothe Justin wore as an undergarment. Justin glanced up with a slick
smile. "Maybe." Justin replied seductively, licking his red lips.
Brian attempted to control his hormones, but like the rain falling on a
cloudy day, it was inevitable. He began to feel uncomfortable with his
erect penis trapped beneath the confines of his boxer-briefs and his husband
stripping slowly before him. He felt the sweat began to poke at his pours
and his palms were clamy. He gripped the sheets in anticipation, hoping his
husband would be naked before him any seconds.
"This is what I got you." Justin chimed, baring his left hip to Brian.
Brian's brow crumbled immediately, unsure of what Justin was referring to.
His eyes traced over Justin's adomen, the taut muscles taunting him. He
then circled his eyes to Justin's waist. His eyes squinted for a minute,
maybe he was dreaming. But he wasn't. He stared for a few seconds before
his mouth began to drop open. His crystal blue eyes held their position as
Brian admired the small tattoo near Justin's left hip bone. The deep navy
blue ink was etched into Justin's skin perfectly; it was not too small, but
it was not near big. The tattoo was of the word 'Rocky,' the letters
crafted in a bold cursive lettering while the "O" was in the shape of a
basketball, all of the lines and ribs running over it.
Brian reached out to touch, his fingers running over the smooth skin as
they traced each letter. It was real. Each drop of ink was real and it
wasn't new. "Is this why we haven't had sex in like two weeks?" Brian
wondered, his eyes moving up Justin's body until he stared into Justin's
pool of blues. Justin shot Brian a smirk. "Yeah... I didn't want you to
see it until Christmas." Justin said. Brian continued to rub the tattoo
with care. His nickname was now forever scripted into Justin's flesh. "And
the T-shirts and shorts to bed too?" Brian asked curiously. "All for the
sake of keeping this secret." Justin nodded
Justin smiled with a healthy amount of pride on his lips. He watched as
Brian continued to admire his artwork. He soon felt Brian's fingers shift
and lace themselves into his belt loop. Brian tugged Justin forward,
causing him to lose his balance and fall onto the bed. Brian slipped out of
Justin's way and allowed his husband to fall into the pillows. Brian sat
back on his heels and smiled. He kissed Justin's forehead as his hands
began to tug down his jeans. "Thank you JuJu Bean. It's beautiful. I
really didn't expect it." he whispered, laying soft and quick kisses over
Justin's faces as he tugged off his lover's jeans.
Justin felt the jeans tangle at his ankles as Brian began to admire the
G-string Justin wore. His eyes followed Brian hand as it played with
Justin's growing member through the material of the G-string while his other
hand began to unzip his own jeans. "I guess you'd like to move ont other
activites now, huh?" Justin remarked as Brian pushed his jeans down. Brian
looked up with keen eyes. "If you don't mind, JuJu. I haven't been able to
have sex with you for two weeks now and I'm dying to have some more of your
shit." Brian joked with Justin. Justin grinned momentarily as Brian
scurried his jeans off. Justin managed to wiggle out of his own jeans,
kicking them off of the bed as Brian removed his shirt.
Brian's shirt made contact with the floor as Brian's lips made contact
with Justin's. Slowly Brian began to rub their lips together as he tried to
yank off his own boxer-briefs. "Mmm, I am so hard..." Brian managed to moan
through kisses. Justin giggled quietly, wrapping his arms around Brian's
neck and pulling him into the kiss. He brushed his tongue over Brian's
teeth as they kissed passionately. Justin forced all of his emotions into
that one kiss, causing Brian to melt away and forget his struggle with his
tight boxer-briefs. They were tangled just above his knees, but the
material had long fallen away in his mind.
Brian surrendered himself to Justin, welcoming his tongue into his mouth.
He let his hands run up Justin's thighs, carefully massaging Justin's
weakest spot before trailing upward and across the G-string. Justin hissed
through their kiss as Brian traced his fingers over his stomach.
"Do you want to do this? Cause if you don't want to right now, I
understand." Brian panted out, his breath stolen by Justin's captivating
kisses. He stroked his fingers through Justin's curly hair and over his
face, looking for an answer in Justin's placcid face. "Please... please
keep going." Justin pleaded, his own hands slipping from around Brian's neck
and down his shoulders, the skin-to-skin contact arrousing him beyond
content. Brian let a small smile roll over his lips before letting his
hands trail back down Justin's body, his fingertips grazing over Jusitn's
erect nipples and smooth pecs. "I want to be on the bottom." Brian
whispered, his affectionate lips tracing over Justin's ear. He sucked
gently at the bottom of the earlobe, pressing his body into Justin's and
shaping them together. Justin groaned out loudly as Brian pressed their
crotches together and whispered his words. The thoughts that raced through
his mind were passionate and tingled through every fiber of his being.
Brian released Justin's body and crawled to the side. He snatched his
boxer-briefs down and let them snake down his legs as he moved. He moved
toward the headboard and laid his body out, waiting for Justin. He gripped
the headboard and prayed Justin would take his invitation freely.
Justin sat up and crawled to his husband. He used one hand to grip one of
the cords of his G-string and tug on it, pulling down the whole garment. He
let it trickle down his thighs and then under his knees as he moved closer
to Brian. His other hand pulled the rest of Brian's underwear off and
pushed it to the side.
He finally placed his hands on Brian's waist, tracing the curves and bones
that made Brian in that spot. Brian moaned quietly in anticipation. He
felt Justin run his hands over his butt, groping it and shaping it. The
pressure of his erect cock bobbing in the air as Justin massaged him caused
a strain to run throughout Brian's body. He twined his fingers on the
headboard and groaned lowly.
Brian lowered his body until his cock brushed against the pillow, the
soft, cool fabric of the pillowcase arousing him to untouchable degrees. He
moaned repeatedly as his penis skid against the pillow, hoping Justin would
touch him and love him soon.
Justin sat on his heels running his hands up and down his husband's
vanilla soft back as Brian slowly pleased himself. He traced the curve of
Brian's hip and then the back of his legs, debating on when to enter his
husband and please him tenderly. Brian purred and arched his back as Justin
began to trace his entrance with his index finger. The moans were caught in
his throat and he did not attempt to release them. Justin used his other
hand to slide underneath Brian and dig under the pillow. The brief touches
of Justin's forearm against Brian's dick caused Brian to lowered his head
and pant desperately. The small hairs on Justin's arm whisped over Brian's
cock and sent shudders up his body.
Justin pulled his arm back briskly, a fire rising in Brian's body as he
yearned for his husband. "Justin, please..." Brian panted as Justin fumbled
with a remote in his hand. Justin grinned mildly as he flicked on the
stereo. He carelessly dropped the remote onto the floor and leaned on his
husband, his own throbbing cock running over Brian's ass. He kissed Brian's
shoulder blade to soothe his need. "Okay, I'm ready Rocky..." he whispered
as he trailed small kisses down Brian's back.
A tantalizing soft, but human ballad seeped into the room through the
speakers of Brian's music system. With the sounds of a heartbeat, slow and
tender, and keybord melodies, the song took over the room and the lovers on
the bed. Brian closed his eyes and let the music course through his mind.
"Lately, it seems we're making love to music a lot." Brian commented as
Justin continued to rub his hand over his body. Justin sucked on the
fingers over his other hand, a delicate smile on his face. "Shhh... don't
talk, just moan baby." Justin said as he removed his fingers from his mouth
and traced them down the small in Brian's back, causing him to arch severly.
"I don't mind, but it just seems..." Brian's words were swallowed back as
he felt Justin invade him with a finger. He grunted hard and curled his
toes. Had it been that long since Justin had been inside of him? Brian
could not decide at the moment.
The finger drove deeper and deeper with a slow madness, causing Brian to
hiss lowly. Brian felt the finger pull back and then slide back in,
stretching him gradually. He batted his eyes open and groaned quietly as
Justin fingered him with a second finger. The pleasure of the action was
finally beginning to consume him. Justin's slick fingers worked into him,
massaging him with a deafening power. Brian's lower body gripped onto
Justin's fingers, pulling on them as Justin repeated his previous actions.
Justin wondered how it would feel to be inside of his husband again, to feel
Brian's body pulling on his penis?
"Justin, I need you to..." Brian could barely get his words out as he
groaned. Justin's comforting hands calmed his pants and his growing
aniticipation. "Come on Brian, say it," Justin requested, using his free
hand to push Brian's legs further apart. Brian gulped hard and sighed as
his balls tightened up against his body. The pillow below him was adding
unexpected pleasure to his wait. "Justin, I need you to make love to him...
fuck me, JuJu..." Brian finally whispered as Justin's arm slipped around his
waist and his hand grabbed at his cock.
There will come a time
I know I'm gonna need
Someone I can trust, someone who'll fight for me
That's the way I love
This is my time to work things out
What I want from this life
There will be someone out there for me
That's the way I love
Brian felt Justin's fingers slip out of him and then a nudge at his hole.
He closed his eyes again and gripped onto the headboard. The nudge led to
pressure and the pressure led to penetration and slowly the penetration led
to pain. Brian gripped his eyes shut and tried to balance himself as he
adjusted to having his husband inside of him again. His ass gripped at
Justin as he slowly tried to slide in Brian. "God, Brian, it's so..."
Justin strained to get his words out as he drove further inside of Brian.
Brian gasped and echaled deeply as Justin burried himself in Brian.
A soft kiss on Brian's shoulder assured him that his lover was finally
fully inside of him. The feeling of Justin's unruly brown pubic hairs
brushing against his ass and Justin's balls nestled against him confirmed
Brian's belief. Deep inside his haze of pain, Brian felt a bubble burst and
ecstasy was released into the air. "Oh yeah, it's so tight and so good,
baby..." Justin groaned into Brian's ear as he held himself in one place
inside of Brian, rotating his cock inside of Brian. Justin's enlarged head
brushed restlessly against Brian's prostaste, feeding Brian the emotions he
needed to grab the ecstasy and hold onto it. "Mmm... mmmmm, yes..." Brian
managed to breathe out.
It doesn't really matter whoever you are
Don't matter where you go
Just make sure you're there to answer
when love comes around
Don't be surprised
When love knocks at your door
You're the breath that I take
You're the smile on my face
Every time I breathe in
Brings me warmth from within
When you touch me I start believing
Loving is like oxygen
As Justin began to slowly withdraw from his husband and glide back in, the
pressure between Brian's legs ached with a new need. He could feel his cock
pulsing in Justin's sweaty hand while the head brushed against the pillow,
leaving small clear trails of pre-cum. He grunted hard and prayed Justin
would feel his need. He tightened himself around Justin's lengthy organ and
tossed his head back. "Ooh, touch me..." he pleaded moving his ass back to
meet Justin's thrusts.
An awakening hit Justin as he heard his lover cry out. He began to
massage and rub Brian's jumping penis as he made love to him. He
concentrated less on his strokes and more on his husband's growing need for
pleasure. Brian groaned out and pressed his fingers into the headboard, his
body quivering under Justin's trained touch.
"Oh baby, mmmph... you feel so good..." Justin groaned, kissing a trail
along Brian's back as he thrusted with growing intensity. He listened to
Brian croon while he ground into his body, the pressure delicious and the
sensations numbing. "Oh, keep going... yes, baby, yes! Oh, deeper Justin!"
Brian began to moan, his tongue almost hanging out of his mouth as he
wallowed in the pleasure Justin gave him. Each thrust meant another grope
of his cock, another jolt in his balls, and another chance for Brian to feel
Justin's cock slide inside of him.
Even when we're so far apart
I still feel you in my heart
Cause you've given me the greatest gift of all
That's the way I love
The way our love made easy
But could it ever be for me
The situation seems so insane
It's all about feeling without insecurities
That's the way I love
Brian was almost breathless as Justin drove as far as he could inside of
his body. Ecstasy brought Brian closer and closer to a true orgasm as his
cock slide slickly in Justin's hand and on his pillow. He felt Justin's
other hand resting on his hip, holding it for safety as he almost lifted
Brian from the bed with each thrust. Their sex was rising to a higher,
stronger level with time. Brian felt Justin through every piece of his body
and it felt good. It felt fullfilling and beautiful.
"You've... you've got me close, Rocky," Justin panted, his breath soaking
Brian's back. Brian smiled briefly before releasing another grunt. "Please
don't stop, don't ever stop JuJu..." Brian begged as Justin's hand became a
little rougher on his cock. Justin kissed Brian's spine as his cock rotated
inside of Brian. He screamed against Brian's back as his balls pulled up
against his body. Brian's ass was gripping him tightly and causing his
strength to drain from his body with each inward stroke. Justin thought he
was going to fall unconscious as Brian held him inside. "God! You're so...
so good, baby. Oh, oh, mmm, mmmm..." Justin moaned, his lips curling and a
snarl passing through his teeth.
It doesn't really matter whoever you are
Don't matter where you go
Just make sure you're there to answer
When love comes around
Don't be surprised
When love knocks at your door
You're the breath that I take
You're the smile on my face
Every time I breathe in
Brings me warmth from within
When you touch me I start believing
Loving is like oxygen
You're in every breath I take
Their breaths were wild and rugged as Justin drove upward in Brian,
pulling Brian up and back. Brian almost let go of the headboard as Justin
took him. "Oh, shit! Oh God, please love me darlin'... yes!" Brian moaned,
his country accent racing through his words. Sweat formed around his brow
as he lowered his head even further. His legs spread open so that Justin
could slide into him freely. "Uhhh, uh, uh, oh uhhh, I can't keep going...
I'm gonna cum Rocky..." Justin whimpered, his breath fervered. He proceeded
to drive his penis inside of his husband, no force able to stop him.
Brian never felt so good, neevr felt so loved and breathless. He tried to
swallow, but another wail pushed out his breath. He was so close, so
unbelievable close that he could not think of anything but how Justin made
him feel. "Ju! Ju, oh Ju! Yes, Justin, I love it! I love you! Shit, I'm
so very close..." Brian breathed out, lifting his head as Justin kissed his
shoulder again. When Justin's teeth grazed over his shoulder, he knew he
wasn't alone in his coming release.
Imagine a life without love
I'd be so afraid (So afraid)
Cause the love that we share would be hard to replace
Baby hold me and never leave me
This love is my oxygen
This love is my oxygen
Open your heart [Open your heart]
Take a deep breath [Take a deep breath]
Stop searching and start believing [Start believing]
Make sure you're there to answer
When love comes around
Don't be surprised
When true love knocks at your door
Brian panted in short breaths as his cock ran against the pillow a few
more times. "I... love... you..." Brian panted, his body shivering. He
gasped and finally, he came. "Oooh! Uhh, ah, ah, ah, oh JuJu, oh JuJu,
uhhh..." he crooned as his creamy semen spread across Justin's head and
drenched his pillow. His ejaculation was sweet, but endless, large amounts
of cum spreading a mess on his pillow. He pushed his hands into the
headboard until he believed they'd fall off from loss of blood.
Justin felt Brian go taut below him as he thrusted only twice more into
Brian before his own body girated with release. "Fuck, oh God... oh God,
Rocky! Yeah! Oh, yes, yes, oh yeah. Uhhh, I'm, uhhh, nutting baby..."
Justin whimpered out. It was obvious to Brian. He felt Justin's own
healthy amount of sperm coating his inside. He cooed at the feeling of the
hot liquid shooting inside of him in spurts. He lowered himself onto the
bed as Justin held onto his hips and called out as the bed rocked and he
came.
Justin groaned softly once more as his climax began to split his vision
and leave a sweet taste in his mouth. He released his firm grip on Brian
and sighed, pulling his flaccid penis from Brian's deep cavern. He laid
down on top of Brian to regain his strength, kissing Brian's upturned cheek
for comfort. Only sweat and their cum drenched their bodies and the sheets.
They didn't care at the moment. The only listened to the final words of
the song as it played so beautifully throughout the room.
Imagine a life without love
I'd be so afraid
Cause the love that we share would be hard to replace
Baby hold me and never leave me
This love is my oxygen
This love is my oxygen
Justin rolled off of husband, leaving him cold and alone for only a
second. He laid next to Brian in a small space of the bed, pressing his
body to Brian's naked form and cuddling him. Brian blinked his eyes open
and yawned softly. He felt Justin trace the bridge of his nose and watched
as a smile formed over Justin's pouty lips. "That was great." Justin
whispered, leaning forward to kiss the tip of Brian's nose. No words were
good enough for Brian. He only nodded and smiled back. "My pillow's a bit
wet." Brian commented. Justin grinned, his hand running down Brian's
shoulder. "We'll wash it. It was worth it to have you cum like that
Rocky." Justin remarked. Brian blushed lightly. "I don't know what
happened, but it felt so damn good to have you inside me like that." Brian
shrugged, unsure of how to explain his orgasm. "Yeah, you felt great too
baby. I just didn't expect you to orgasm." Justin said, wrapping his arms
around Brian. Brian blushed again, his face burning red. "But I had an
orgasm too. The kind that makes your toes curl and your head starts to
throb because it feels so good." Justin whispered, kissing the bridge of
Brian's nose.
Brian leaned up and caught Justin's lips, kissing him with a thank you on
his lips. Justin licked at Brian's lips and let him pull away. "We're
going to have to get up, get dressed and clean all this up before they get
back." Brian informed Justin. Justin curmbled his face, but nodded. "Okay,
but not right now." Justin agreed. Brian nodded, his face drawing nearer to
Justin. Justin felt a nudge at his leg as Brian placed a hand behind
Justin's head. He knew that feeling. "Brian... you're hard." Justin
whispered as Brian's lips dangled over his. "You'll be too in a minute my
Christmas sweetheart." Brian grinned before pressing his lips to Justin's,
beginning another sessions of passionate and pleasure without any protests
from Justin.
TO BE CONTINUED...
--- And it's done and you're not mad at me, right? I hope not! I don't
want to get into all the things that conflicted with me finishing this
story, but I went through plenty of drama from the end of December to
January and it just kept me from writing. I do apologize to those who were
dying to read the story though. All of you that wrote me, thank you, it
made me want to write even faster and I hope this makes up for not having a
Christmas story out by at least the beginning of January. I was trying to
get it out by my birthday, but that didn't happen either. Anyway, if you
liked it, hated it, want something different, want something changed and so
and so, write me! You know the e-mail, but if you don't, it's
catsfan1@hotmail.com I'm writing the next chapter as we speak and it's a
New Years' Eve story that I had planned. Following that will be the
Valentine's story which is going to be split into two parts because there
are so many ideas for it. So look forward to that a little after
Valentine's Day, God willing.
I have made a webpage/magazine based around this series. PLEASE visit the
page and tell me what you think of the articles and what not. I promise
you'll enjoy it! I worked hard on it, so at least visit the page at:
http://www.geocities.com/briandjust/index.html
Also, I'm trying to do sort of a fan appreciation chapter in which fans can
write me with ideas and I'll chose some and write those into March's story.
So after the first part of the Valentine's story comes out, starting writing
me with your BEST ideas (Which means start thinking now) and I'll pick the
good ones and they'll decide what happens in the story.
I can't think of what else I was supposed to say, but it'll come to me once
the story is posted and I'll feel like an ass for not writing it in the end
notes of this story. Oh well, we can't change the past. All right, have a
good month of January and hopefully I can be better about my writing habits!
Have fun and God bless... ---