I’m working toward getting the Creeping Nameless Dread ribbon and my picture on all the bottles. The ribbon should be houndstooth. Houndstooth says Creeping Nameless Dread Awareness, don’t you think? But all I could get was black with gray.

November is Creeping Nameless Dread Awareness Month, so get yours now. If you want one, MeMo will get it for you.

The coffee chain’s aggressive growth also hinges on what the company calls “infill” – adding stores in cities where its mermaid logo is already commonplace. In some cases, that means putting a Starbucks within a block of an existing store, if not closer.

(For the record, the semi-new Starbucks at Fannin and Preston downtown is really nice, and has loads of Starbocrap to buy. I buy two of everything.)

You’d think that was what they already did to your stomach, but it turns out that’s what they do to our habitat. As Matty B. aptly points out, the two Starbucks at the Center of the Universe will soon be somewhat unremarkable. But no less at the center of the universe, unless they tear down the Center of the Universe, which, of course, is the plan.

As to Starbucks and in-filling, I would have thought it meant tearing down a bunch of them and “infilling” the resulting hole in the ground”. Then, they could build a memorial to everyone’s lost paychecks, spent at the former location.

Maybe a big stainless steel dollar sign? Naw, they plan to sell that dirt to a developer, thus tripling their money…1) they long ago recouped their investment by selling over-priced caffeine-induced highs to the fiscally irresponsible 2) re-selling the vacant property at twice the price they paid for it.

I’d be willing to bet bet that demolition and resale within five years was included in their original business plan. Ask Matty B, if you don’t believe me!

I can’t speak for your 401K costume. Mine can’t decide what it should be. The IRA one is easy – but I’d sport the tshirt just in case. Just don’t forget the ski mask and the Irish brogue, which I can only get close to after way too many drinks.