If The '14 U.S. Olympic Uniforms Look Familiar, It's Because Grandma Made Them

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The Olympics are a mere 15 days away, and while we're sharpening up on our elaborate Team U.S.A. cheers, Ralph Lauren has just released the official opening-ceremony parade uniforms for the 2014 U.S. Olympic and Paralympic teams. Said David Lauren, vice president of advertising, marketing, and corporate communications, "It's a proud moment for us to watch these premiere athletes as they walk out representing our nation on a global stage in front of billions of people worldwide." Well, billions of people around the world, we'd like to introduce you all to a couple things that are truly, singularly American: going out in public in sweatpants and being forced to wear patchwork cardigan sweaters your grandma made.

Team U.S.A. Olympians will be wearing their ugly sweaters with turtlenecks underneath, and the fleece "athletic pants" will be tucked into cable-knit socks and paired with a cotton ribbon belt (adorned with patriotic jacquard graphics, naturally). The one shining spot in this outfit? The black-leather work boots with red laces, which are actually super rad, and we'd like a pair in our size, please-and-thank-you.

Unlike the snafu from the 2012 Summer Olympics, all garments were made Stateside. Want a piece for yourself to wear at home (which is, in all honesty, where you're supposed to wear fleece pants and that kind of cardigan)? Men's, women's, and children's styles are available online at RalphLauren.com, TeamUSAShop.org, and in select Ralph Lauren stores (100% of the proceeds from the cardigan will go to the U.S. Olympic Committee).