occasionally bombarding the headquarters in an irregular manner

August 22, 2014

the money was just resting in the panda's account

For obvious reasons, there'll be no sitcom about corrupt Chinese officials. Which is a shame, because the material's there:

Mr. Xiao stole from pandas, the court heard. While he worked at the zoo, he diverted outlays for construction to a company that he controlled, including funds meant for a refurbished panda enclosure. Of 30 million renminbi in construction outlays, about 10 million renminbi ended up in his company’s account, the prosecutors said.

Mr. Xiao countered that the new panda enclosure was perfectly good and so there was no reason to split hairs about who got what. It “was finished on time and added luster to the opening of the Olympic Games” of Beijing in 2008, he said at the trial.

Mr Xiao, who was Deputy Director of Beijing Zoo, also said he made money by moonlighting as an unlicensed taxi driver. For some reason possibly connected to paying untaxed wages into a bank account held by your dog, he makes me think of Harry Redknapp. Same kind of dodgy geezer, scoping out the angles.

Having won Exemplary District Party of the Year for the last two years, and now strapped for cash because of the cost of hosting the victory banquet, local bosses try to avoid a third win by having their worst officials greet the judges. Little do they know that the judges are also working for the CDIC. Everyone is arrested.

Mr. Xiao countered that the new panda enclosure was perfectly good and so there was no reason to split hairs about who got what. It “was finished on time and added luster to the opening of the Olympic Games” of Beijing in 2008, he said at the trial.

Reminds me of the joke about a council in Perthshire getting quotes for a new bus stop from three firms.

The firm from Aberdeen quotes £3000. The chair of the committee asks them to break this down so they say "£1000 materials, £1000 labour and £1000" profit.

The firm from Edinburgh goes up next and quotes £6000. This raises eyebrows, but their breakdown is straightforward - "£2000 materials, £2000 labour and £2000 profit".

Finally a firm from Glasgow walks in and quotes £9000. The chair is a little taken aback, and tells them that although they're a long way from the cheapest tender, he'd still like to hear their breakdown.

"Easy. £3000 for you, £3000 for me, and £3000 for the Aberdeen boys to do the job".