25 signs you are older

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
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>1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
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> 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
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> 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
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> 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
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> 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
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> 6. You watch the Weather Channel.
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> 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
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> 8. You go from 13 days of vacation time to 140.
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> 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
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> 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
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> won't turn down the stereo.
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> 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
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> 12. Yo don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
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> 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
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> 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
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> 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
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> 16. You take naps.
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> 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of
>one.
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> 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
>rather than settle, your stomach.
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> 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and
>pregnancy tests.
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> 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
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> 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
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> 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to
>drink that much again."
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> 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
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> 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
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> 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them
>instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
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> Bonus:
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> 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
>doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
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"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
-Benjamin Franklin

"If the Good Lord wanted me to use percussion caps I reckon the river beds would be full of 'em for the takin"
Old flintlock shooter I met at the range.

In this day and age it is easier to stay stupid than it is to stay ignorant. I have had the misfortune to have encountered many informed idiots