Tuesday, April 1, 2008

white noise day is coming--beware

I'm going to look for my white noise machine and my white clothes because White Noise Day is coming and I really, really need to be ready. It's the first White Noise Day that I know of, and it really feels like setting out on new territory. Will there be water? Should I pack more than I can carry? Will the natives be friendly? I am restless and ready to go. I've got my pocket translation dictionary...do you?

7 comments:

I plan to celebrate white noise day by being the best white noise ever. I will seamlessly merge myself into groups by appearing as anonymous as possible. Any comments I make will be small and inconsequential, they will not distract the person from whatever they were talking about, and my exit from any conversation will be just as seamless. I will be an afterthought in a conversation. I won't isolate myself, then I'm tuned out entirely, but I will be landscape for someone else's day.

To honor WND, I will dress in all white and, like Sam, I be a part of other peoples' white noise. DeLillo notes how the supermarket is filled with many different sounds, and I will be part of that medley of noise at school on Monday. By blending myself, in both words and action, into the continuous hum of noise, I will best be able to celebrate WND.

Something more interesting for white noise day might be to see how far you can push the labels of white noise, how outrageous can you be before you are no longer the background but the focus? Would people notice a neon pink tie in the crowd? Bell Bottoms? A beer helmet? A Bunny Suit? If a man in a bunny suit sat down at a cafeteria table and said nothing could he still be white noise?

I planned on adding to the white noise like Sam, although I literally will be adding to the noise. I may go up to conversations and begin humming to see how long it takes for someone to notice the sounds.

I have been ready for the vast majority of my life. Finally, a day to honor what my short attention span has been successful in blocking out. A chance to celebrate the panorama of meaningless conversations, whispers in the background, freshman, the distant telephone ringing, and the hum of the lights. I am so excited for this day, that I promise to prove to everybody that I will be the greatest participant of White Noise Day. I will stand out among the ranks of the meaningless, and proudly display myself among the whispers of side conversations.

For all the individuals out there who support white noise day, there is a small group who can not help but be absolutely miserable. I mean, think about it. For all the fun that we are having today, this glorious day we know as "White Noise Day," others who do not celebrate have no way to fill the void of nonsensical literature in their lives. Poor things. You have to feel sorry for them.