There's a thing you can find, mostly in Brooklyn, called lard bread. It's bread, with cured pork baked right into it, and it's not the slightest bit embarrassed about its name. We had ours imported from Brooklyn's Mazzola Bakery.

Eva: Now I know when people call me "lard bread" they mean it as a compliment.

Miles: Hard outside with a ham surprise inside. This is the closest we'll ever come to a meat piñata.

Robert: It's called "lard bread?" This is a meal with a PR problem.

Ian: Just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover. Speaking of which, I'd read a lot more if books had secret ham hiding in them.

Peter: I understand U.S. Customs seizes 1,000 loaves of "cocaine bread" a year. The smugglers should probably change the name.