NutShot Peanut Butter

Like SEXCEREAL, NutShot Peanut Butter capitalizes on branding, as it is nothing more than a jar full of pulverized peanuts manufactured in both chunk and chunk-free form. And while that itself is one of NutShot creator Marcus O'Donovan's selling points, as most peanut butters on today's shelves have unsavory buzzword additives such as sugar, salt, and palm oil, what NutShot really has going for it over anything else is its name. NutShot: an accurate descriptor, and a delightful allusion both to a man taking a hard one in the family jewels, and releasing an equally hard one from them. Literal and referential, living together in eponymical symbiosis. Excuse me sir, would you care for a NutShot sandwich? This banana is OK, but it would taste way better with a wad of NutShot on it. Some people claim to be allergic to NutShot, but I think they just say that because they don't want to be hassled for refusing to eat it.

As evidence that others agree with me, NutShot has surpassed its (admittedly modest) Kickstarter funding goal with weeks still to go in its campaign. At printing, they'd convinced nearly 250 people to shell out $15 apiece for two jars of peanut butter. I don't think I'd pay that much for peanut butter, but I would definitely pay that much for Cornelius' birthday present. Particularly since the jars are also labeled "Creamy Butter" and "Chunky Butter" and their mascot in the British flag shirt is not depicted giving us a nut shot, thereby suggesting he has just received--or delivered--one of his own.