Here’s one to make the top of the WTF list of 2012. Ultimate Fighter Ray Elbe let his girlfriend take the top position during a bout of coitus recently at his Malaysian condo and girlfriend went and executed a thrust that his erection wasn’t prepared for resulting in fracturing his penis!

WTF is right.

Elbe himself relayed the minutiae of what ensued shortly after the ‘didn’t know my own vagina’s strength’ move that left him – by his own accounts – faint, with blood gushing out of his member. And one has to ask, why?

Is nothing private anymore?

The night that started off with a laid back ‘let someone else do all the work’ ended with Elbe requiring ten stitches and penile surgical reattachment to his urethra.

Damn.

Oh, and les we forget to mention, Elbe had to also take anti-erection meds, post-surgery, as a woody wouldn’t have aided his pain any.

“Keeping it safe during sex isn’t just wearing a condom,” Elbe says of his resulting injury.

Sure at first this sounds like one of the most painful occurrences any man could experience – and indeed we fully believe it is. We have personally felt the pain a sudden jerk on our privates from an unsuspected – and uninvited – source while at an Amsterdam club some years ago. But shortly after this feeling of sympathy towards Elbe our chuckle overtook our sensory and, to tell the truth, we couldn’t stop guffawing.

We couldn’t help but visualize Elbe dashing from the bed spritzing blood everywhere on his way into the bathroom. The panic that assuredly ensued witnessing the red gush not to mention experiencing the pain unfolding as he attempted to do something – anything to make the bleeding stop. Minutes seeming like an eternity until the onset and sub-coming to a fainting spell where his otherwise chiseled frame caved and he collapsed busting his chin and fracturing his teeth on the bathroom floor.

At this stage in the game, it is little shock to see “celebrities” snapping nude-self photos of themselves in their bedrooms and/or bathrooms. Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, Jamie Foxx, et al. Not much of an impact really. But when it is Ultimate Fighter (UFC) champion Tito Ortiz, twitter’in his full frontal – well, it gets our attention. Those fights are incredibly violent and outrageously homo-erotic! We ain’t kidding y’all. It seems they always end up with the fighters in a missionary position with the “bottom” wrapping his legs around the “top”.

Some hot shit!

But it does beg the question… ‘What is the motivation behind it?’ Is it merely for attention/press? Exhibitionism? A ‘who cares’ mentality?

Well, whatever the case, we are left with one last question… ‘Does that piece fill out when it grows erect?’

Inquiring minds want to know, Tito!

If you are going to Twit this pic the least you can do is give us a before-and-after!

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NativeNYker’s Rants, Thoughts & Merde

The tales of a freelancer based in New York. Told from a first hand perspective, deep in the trenches of current events and celebrity red carpets. The sole purpose of the site is to bring some laughter, a little payback and/or a smile to its readers and feed my urge.

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Native NYker's Rants, Thoughts & Merde is a celebrity entertainment site. Information published may be rumor, conjecture, satire and/or will always likely be the lunacy of its author - Native NYker (dugh).
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