(It’s fifteen minutes before our law firm opens, and the phone has been ringing constantly. We normally let it go to the answering machine, but I decide to pick up since this caller obviously wants to talk to someone.)

Me: “[Law Firm], how can I help you today?”

Caller: “Your d*** law firm only has machines! I can’t ever talk to a real person! Why is that?!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re not open until 8:30 am. I just picked up the phone a little early since you kept calling. Also, I’m not a machine.”

Caller: “Well, you tell the real people when they come in that they’re not getting my business!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am a real person. I can help you. Please, just let me have your name and I’ll look you up in our system.”

Caller: “You d*** machines! I’m not giving you s***! When I finally talk to a real person, I’m going to let them have it!” *hangs up*