Killer headache all day. Had quite the slip down the stairs, like an oafish, slapstick circus clown tumbling down, down, down. Throbbing tailbone. Craving the numbing power of ibuprofin and the temporary highs of ice cold diet cokes. Bills, laundry, ungraded papers– all piling up, reaching peak levels. Jacob’s eyes are hollow, he needs to sleep. Let him sleep. Crying toddlers, sticky-spaghetti floors, bruised bones. Once refreshing walks now simply cater to a brain rattling with checklists and unaswered questions.

Are You there? The past week I’ve needed you in the headaches and hollow eyes, in the bruises and the dirt. Will you give my a glimpse of You– just for a moment? I need a glance of the Really Real– of the Heart that holds the world together– of the heart that holds me together– all of my fragile and fragmented pieces.

I’ve got this, I hear You whisper. Do you see how the sun still shines, the earth still spins, the frozen ground still thaws? I’ve got this. Do you see how the trees still climb toward the heavens, the buds still continue to sprout, how people still dance after they mourn? I am holding you together, I am holding it all together.