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Dealing With Friends

But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person – having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Dealing with friends can be such a tricky thing – treading on eggshells and trying to judge the effect of your words before you let them venture forth across your tongue.

I am so lucky to have two men in my life with whom I can be as relaxed as in the quote above.

Ruf and I have spent the day in our dressing gowns, sitting comfortably next to each other on the sofa as we type frantically into our laptops. Suddenly I realise the joy of being so relaxed in a man’s company that we can occasionally exchange a belch in appreciation of a good dinner.

Where it doesn’t matter if I haven’t brushed my hair or showered or performed any of the niceties of being a lady, he loves me just the same.

It’s the same with Softboy too. Both these men love me for my essence – ok the physical attributes and mental accuity are much appreciated too, but I don’t have to dazzle with either. I can witter on to my heart’s content and they will filter out the dross and remember just the few diamonds in that fountain of rough.

I am just discovering the same closeness with my Blast From the Past, the childhood friend who fitted back into my life as if three decades had never elapsed.

None of these men will take offence when it all comes out wrong and where many a more delicate ego would require perpetual massage to be restored.

Sometimes it’s just nice to be reminded how lucky I am in the men in my life.

2 comments to Dealing With Friends

I have often been accused of not being socially orientated but it is for this very reason I don’t welcome an influx of people into my life, however, this is changing and bit by bit, many must either accept the nature of my game (if you want to call it that, obvious Stones reference) or quietly drift along. I find that the great measurement of this is my continuous wearing of pajamas – that soon settles whether people will be comfortable with my daily persona of not. The pajamas hold the fort in that respect. :p Rups