If we start to get curious about how we participate in choosing our own feelings and reactions to what someone else said or did, then we begin to see how big our role is in creating our own emotional states. Once we see our role, we are confronted with the reality that, in the vast majority of situations, our emotional state is completely our responsibility. That’s a big responsibility, and one that most of us would rather not take on because blaming is simply much easier than taking responsibility. But, there is no freedom in blaming. Blaming keeps us locked in a story that things outside of us control our emotions. And, if our emotions and reactions are not under our control, then we are not free to choose our emotional states.