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Survivor Review: Colton or Kat?

Confused? Not sure why I’m thanking Kat when she blew the challenge for her tribe? Understandable, but think of this: if the women had won, we would have had to suffer through the second half of the episode being all about Colton.

So, thank you, Kat, for saving us from 30 more minutes of The Colton Cumbie Drama Hour. Far better to listen to the women squabble with each other and almost make some sense out of their situation than watch Colton break down over one of the least stressful situations ever.

You’re surrounded by people you don’t connect with or wouldn’t hang out with in your normal life. Cry me a freaking river. Perhaps we cannot totally understand his situation, but we’ve all been surrounded by people we don’t connect with before (say, the TV Fanatic offices? Just kidding) and managed the situation. Maybe not for 39 straight days, but we’ve all managed.

Finally, Colton knew this was possible. Okay, not the all-male tribe that he just cannot connect with for some reason, but based on his reaction, he had to know that it was possible he wouldn’t connect with whatever males were on his tribe. His only plan was to bond with the women? And even if it was, he can’t adjust?

All I know is that I’ve had my fill of Colton and it’s only the second episode. And he has an idol. And he now has a plan and allies. Kill me now. Hopefully Leif, Jonas, Troyzan and Tarzan are only planning on using Colton to get ahead of the muscle alliance and then get rid of him. It’s no secret he’s turning to the women when they merge (if they merge, eh?).

Back to those squabbling women. They haven’t shown us much in the first three challenges and just when I thought they were turning a corner, they keep Kat. Didn’t it really seem like they had turned on Kat and were sending her home? She certainly deserved to be sent home.

I guess I blame myself for falling for a classic CBS editing trick. They always try to build the drama before a vote by presenting small clips of conversations which insinuate another candidate for the chopping block. Often it’s obvious that’s all they’re doing and you know who’s going home.

This week I was really fooled. Chelsea and Kim’s (more on them later) pre-vote conversation was very convincing. The way ladies were openly talking about the alliance being between the wrong five people was seemingly very telling. Kat even seemed resigned to be going home while Nina seemed confident she was staying.

Unfortunately, any drama was killed when that random third vote for Christina showed up. I assume Monica threw it at Christina because she knew Nina was going home and didn’t want to go against the dominant alliance. Can’t hurt to try, but it’s unlikely to do any good.

As for Chelsea and Kim, I feel like they could make a dominant duo. Readers of my Survivor reviews know how much I preach the power of the duo. An unbreakable pair of votes is so hard to go against. Chelsea and Kim seem like logical partners for each other. Beyond that, they’re both level headed and athletic, two crucial attributes for Survivor. The fact that they’re cute won’t hurt with the guys, either.

The real question is if they’ll bond as a duo amidst their current five person alliance. I thought the move this week was for them to grab Sabrina and join Nina, Monica and Christina and get rid of Kat and Alicia, the clear people dragging down the Salani tribe. Alas.

More from this episode:

The best part of tribal council? Alicia didn’t talk. I’m almost as done with her as I am with Colton. Get rid of those two and we have a much better season.

Is anyone else tired of hearing the phrase ‘game on’ said by contestants in a reality show? You’re constantly playing a game. We know the game is on!

Jeff killing the women and Kat for their actions was priceless. He gets more and more aggressive each season.

Did anyone notice that Kat said she’d never throw Nina under the bus mere moments after she threw Christina under the bus?

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DJ•March 22, 2012 05:53

They should've just left it as the battle of the sexes until the merge and there should've been only one tribe change up. All thanks to that son of a bitch Colton everything has changed so quickly because of HIM! This is even worst than last year with the old vs young. The only good part I enjoyed was when the girls won their first reward and immunity challenge. The reward challenge was hilarious because all the guys got it wrong and when it came down between Troyzan and Kitty Kat it was like who will be the first to get it right and somehow it was Kitty Kat and the immunity challenge was a last minute comeback. I was glad Matt got voted out but Colton should've been voted out instead of Bill.

Shrandell•February 23, 2012 22:05

These women are idiots, and unfairly represent today's women as a group. I will not watch this show anymore. I've been a fan since Survivor began... :(

OMG... seriously what is wrong with the women's tribe!? They are embarrasing... I think they might go down as the wrost tribe in history... ridiculous. I never like it when they do men vs. women, but this is going to extremes. I can't believe they kept Kat! Alliance or not... that's why if you make an alliance on day one, you better be ready to make some changes if you have a dumbass in your alliance... and Colton... well at least he finally made a move with the idol... there is a social part of this game... wasn't he prepared to play it? Wow, this season is not starting off very well... who are these people?!

I officially hate all of them. The women as a group are morons. Colton is so abrasive I thought I might have to see if I was missing skin. No one stand out as someone i would want to root for. I now hate myself for continuing to watch this show but for me it's now a train wreak I can't seem to look away from.