26 January 2015

The following are self-corrective statements made in relation to the two previous blogs I've written in relation to a resistance, that revealed a fear, which implied a separation from life and living. The corrective statements are a script one write for oneself, deciding who one will be in specific moments of one's life, within oneself, and making that decision within self-awareness and self-honesty.In the previous blog I did mention considerations I would share in this blog in relation to a vlog from Desteni about Death. I will share that in the next blog.So - onto the Correction and Change!When and as I see myself within an experience of resistance, specifically in relation to listening to the Death Research recordings on Eqafe, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the resistance experience to not listen is a form of an energetic experience triggered through my participation in thoughts and back chats and so I commit myself to not simply accept and allow myself to ‘be resistant’ towards something, and instead commit myself to question/investigate the resistance as to better understanding what I am in fact allowing as a limitation within meWhen and as I see myself fearing speaking/writing about specific topics, specifically in relation to death and dying, and my fear in relation to that, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this fear is based on thoughts and back chats and that the mind in it’s nature is nonsensical or rational, and instead uses irrational thoughts to substantiate beliefs within me and so I commit myself to not participating in such thoughts/back chats that have no grounding in physical living, simply from the evidence that people do not die because they write about death or a fear of dying and so instead I commit myself to breathe through any irrational fears I come up with within my mind and instead stick to what is real, what is here as the physical breathing and physical body as grounding myself in actual Reality. When and as I see myself existing within and participating within the fear of death, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the fear of death in it’s nature is of the mind, as the mind exists as a beginning and and end, whereas Life exists Here, as a constant, physical expression. And so I commit myself to no longer fear the death of me, as I realize the fear of death/dying is me as the mind fearing it’s own end, because as the Mind I realize that I can end because I am not of life, which is constant/stable and so I commit myself to face this fear of me as the mind as the personality constructs I’ve created throughout my life and walk my process to nothingness – to the beginning of my existence as the innocence of a child and re-create myself to be of Life, expressed in physical reality, constant, stable and HEREWhen and as I see myself fearing the death of me as my physical body, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that to participate in the fear of death as my physical body, is to participate within the mind, the separate reality I’ve created through my participation and so to allow such a thing in a moment, is to in fact separate myself from physical Life and Living and so to actually then DO that which I am fear in that moment. And so I commit myself to breathe whenever I see myself fearing the death of me as my physical body, and instead ground myself in my physical body as my physical breathing – bringing myself back to actual Life and Living in the moment, as ensuring I am HERE and developing my awareness and presence HEREWhen and as I see myself fearing death, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that to fear death is to fear an aspect of Life and what is currently here as this reality and so I commit myself to instead stand equal to and one with the actual reality of/as this world as the death process – not fearing it, or resisting it, or separating myself from it, but to instead embrace it as an aspect of life that currently existsWhen and as I see myself fearing losing my life, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that within such a statement of myself as ‘I fear losing my life’, I am attempting to own, possess, and hold onto Life as if I am not actual Life or Living, and instead it is something that can escape me, or be taken away from me, revealing that I have separated myself from LIFE as I see it, within such a statement, as something outside/separate from me HERE. And so I commit myself to walk the process of living the realization that if I were LIFE and LIVING in/as equality and oneness, then I would Be Life, that I am Life, that that is who I am and is not separate from me and thus not something that can be taken away, or lost. Further more, I commit myself to walk the process of living and expressing myself, in every moment of breath, as LIFE.When and as I see myself attaching a negative energy/definition to the word death as shown in my experience in relation to the word, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that words in and of themselves are innocence and do not exist within a positive/negative energy charge, but that through my accepted and allowed creation, they exist in such a way. And so I commit myself to removing the negative energy attachment/definition to the word death and instead stabilize myself and the definition of the word to be of Life and not of energy.When and as I see myself resisting facing the fear of death existing within and as me, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that it is based within thoughts and a belief that if I don’t face it, if I don’t pay attention to it, if I avoid it, then somehow it absolve me from the reality of myself as the relationship I have with death, which I also see, realize and understand is based within a fear and that somehow within this resistance, I am actually getting away from it. I commit myself to stop participating in the belief and so actions of ‘avoiding’ or ‘ignoring’ as a solution to things within myself, and within my life and instead live the realization that the best solution is to face head on my life and myself, in all circumstance and situation as directing ‘what is here’ as myself and my life – living the directive principle as directing myself and my world as ‘dealing’ with it, instead of ignoring it – giving it actual attention and direction, instead of allowing it to sit stagnant and out of sight; instead SORT it outWhen and as I see myself continuing to condition/program myself within the action of avoiding things, or resisting things based within the belief that if I resist/avoid it, it will go away or I am no longer responsible for it, I stop and I breathe. I realize that through my constant participation in the belief as thoughts and actions of actual avoidance/resistance conditions me as my mind and my physical body to act automatically within such a point. I also see, realize and understand that it does not in fact deal with the issue/circumstance/situation and only in fact makes it worse and so I instead commit myself to do that which I resist, face that which I want to avoid and so live as directive principle within and as myself as making sure I am directing and giving attention to All that is me and my LifeWhen and as I see myself thinking and believing that if I ignore something, long enough or soon enough it will somehow no longer exist in my reality and that I am then absolved from any responsibility in dealing with it, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is a condition of my mind, of my acceptance and allowance, and is not in fact a solution to myself or my life and so I commit myself to re-condition myself as inserting a new program as how I will live/apply myself within my day to day living as facing, directing and sorting out what is ‘here’ as me and my life and so taking responsibility for myself, my existenceWhen and as I see myself resisting listening to the death research series by Eqafe, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is an act of fearing death and that this resistance is a gift as revealing to me where to go, as what will support me in my process of self-transformation. I commit myself to take advantage of the gift I have as the resistance to listening to the death research series on eqafe as the opportunity to move myself through the resistance and listen any way, as an act of re-conditioning, re-programming, changing my nature and standing as my own self-directive principleWhen and as I see myself not directing myself within an experience of resistance, and instead allowing a resistance to direct me in what I do and don’t do, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that to actually, physically move myself to do that which I resist is an application that offers me support to expand within and as myself and to no longer exist within the same box that is my mind, as the resistance is the boundaries I have set up for myself. I commit myself to move myself through any/all resistances as simply a decision I make to live as self-directive principle of and as myself and so to no longer allow thoughts, feelings and emotions to influence/direct me.When and as I see myself defining death within a negative context as something sad, bad, dark, scary and something to fear, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that my definition of death in this way is in the same context as those around me that I have seen as an example of who I must be in relation to death, and dying and so not originally my own, only my own acceptance and allowance to not question and simply live out. And so I commit myself to investigate, research and make up my own mind about what death is and so to no longer follow along, not question and to simply accept death as being something to fear. I commit myself to listen to the death research series on Eqafe, at least one recording a week, to support myself through this resistance, and through this fear as hearing first hand what death is, and what happens as the moment of death to the mind, body and beingness to cure any uncertainty that may cause a fear of the unknown.

25 January 2015

Following yesterday's blog with some self-forgiveness:I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the fear of death existing within and as me, as revealed through my resistance towards listening to the death research series on eqafeI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that because I am writing about facing my fear of death, and walking a process to embrace death as a reality of this world, that that means I am going to die and to within this, fear it – fear I am creating my own death through writing about itI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not yet realize that to fear Death is to be of the Mind, as the Mind is a program that has a beginning and an end when real Life and Living is simply HERE, it is constant and stable, has always been here and so to fear death is to be of the Mind and to be life is to simply LIVE and so I forgive myself that I have not taken responsibility for the mind I am as the program with the beginning and the end that fears it’s endingI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the death of me as the MindI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the death of me as my physical bodyI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all aspects of life including the death processI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death as indicating I’ve never lived and so I forgive myself that I Have accepted an allowed myself to never have lived and thus to allow myself to fear deathI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my life as dying without realizing that these words IMPLY that I am attempting to own, possess, and hold onto Life and so revealing that I am not Actually LIFE or LIVING because I believe it’s something that can escape me or be taken away from me, or is something that I can lose, such as the moment of death, instead of realizing that if I were LIFE and LIVING in/as equality and oneness, then I would see, realize and understand that I am Life, that it’s who I am and not separate from me, but equal to and one with who I am and so if I realized, lived and expressed myself, in every moment of breath, as LIFE, then I would see, realize and understand that I can never ‘lose life’ as life is who I amI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a negative energy to the word deathI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and see death as this dark and scary thing and to within this, create a negative energy around and within the word death and so due to my definition of the WORD death, experience the way in which I have created the word to be that of something scary, dark and something I should fear/have a negative reaction/experience towardsI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist facing this fear of death within thinking and believing that if I don’t face it, if I don’t pay attention to it, if I avoid it, then somehow it absolve me from the reality of myself as the relationship I have with death, which is based within fear and that somehow I am actually getting away from itI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program/condition myself in such a way wherein I think and believe that if I resist/avoid something, then I am no longer responsible for itI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe if I ignore something, than somehow it’s no longer within my reality or part of my reality and I am then somehow absolved from any responsibility towards itI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist listening to the death research series as the act of fearing death, and to within seeing this as a resistance, not treat it as the gift it is as the point revealing me where to go that will support me within my process of self-transformation, and so I forgive myself that I Have not allowed myself to take advantage of the gift I have as a resistance to listening to the death research recordings as moving myself to listen anyway, as an act of self-directive principleI forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to direct myself within an experience of resistance as actually physically moving myself to do that which I resist as I see, realize and understand the support this application offers as supporting me to expand and no longer exist within the same box that is my mind, as the resistance acts as the boundaries I’ve set up for myselfI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define death within the same context as those around me and to live the examples I've seen from others/my society as death being something sad, something bad, and something that I should feel negatively aboutI forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to do my own investigations, and research and make up my own mind about what death is instead of simply following along, not questioning and accepting death as being something dark, something to fear and something to resistSelf Corrective Statements in the blog to follows, as well as some considerations from the following vlog:

24 January 2015

Currently I, as many others (including you), have access to information that is unlike anything else in this world. The insights, clarity, and astounding support that comes from this source is so unbelievably life supporting, my life has been forever, gratefully, changed from it.

What am I talking about? EQAFE.com. It is a website that has a slew of recordings, interviews and videos explaining, in specific detail, every aspect of life on Earth. It is a constant stream of information that, in it's nature, offers solutions to potentially every situation one could possibly find themselves in in this world, and how within applying the tools and applications suggested, one can open themselves up to the true potential of Life on Earth and Life as themselves.

One series specifically though that I have resisted since they started being published is the Death Research recordings. This is quite an interesting series of recordings, as similar to the Life Review, where beings come through to speak about their experiences on Earth and what they realized once Reviewing their life after their deaths, this is specifically about the actual death process - so depending on the circumstances causing the death, it goes into detail about what the body goes through, what happens to the mind, what happens to the Being. This is all I can really say about it, because as mentioned, I have always resisted listening to these interviews, and cannot say for sure if I have ever listened to a whole recording (usually they are around 20-35 minutes long).

What does this tell me?

I resist the Reality of Death.

There is so much fear and uncertainty surrounding death. Obviously it is a Reality in this World, where it's inevitable - everyone dies. Just like the popular Children's book, "Everyone Poops", the fact is Everyone also dies. Yet with this Reality of Death existing for Each, there is fear around it simply because we don't know what happens when we die. So while there is fear existing in relation to Death for All, because let's be honest, we don't know what happens in that moment and what comes after that moment and so the uncertainty or lack of understand, from my perspective, can easily create a resistance to it, simply because we don't know. And let's be honest, humanity resists that which it doesn't know or is not familiar with - we are actually quite stubborn in that regard. Yet, we have convinced ourselves that when we do die, everything is okay, we go to Heaven, and there we live happily ever after. We tell ourselves nice stories in attempt to soothe the fear, yet in the end, and in Reality - we FEAR that which we do not know/understand.

Now back to me - what I can see in my own resistances to the Death Research Series is that I am allowing a Fear of Death to direct me in terms of not willing or wanting to hear anything in relation to death or the death process. Because I can see just the gift I have in such recordings as, through each one, the death process is explained, in detail - putting into perspective the REALity of Death, and grounding any ideas or fears or images related to death that I have made up within my own mind, but have come to beLIEve for myself as the truth, without doing any proper investigation.

What is the best cure for the imagination that fuels itself with fear? Actual, real information, explaining in explicit detail what actually happens at death and what happens to the mind, the body and the beingness. Why would I resist such a thing? It is a cure to any curiosity, fear and uncertainty.

So from my perspective, I have feared this series specifically because it had everything to do with death; that moment when our last breath is breathed and we are no longer here in/as our physical bodies. This is something I fear, and something I have seen extensive reactions to in the past, fear of no longer existing. (Some interesting points opened up in relation to the Self-Forgiveness applied for this fear, so will share that in the next blog.)

Though, while I have not come to realize this point on my own, I do see the point that if I were truly Alive and Equal to and One with what Life is in/as Equality and Oneness - I would not Fear Death. Because I would instead Be Life. If I were truly Living, I would not fear the end of it, because I would be engaged, involved and an active participant with Life and so I would Be Living. The fact that a fear of death exists, suggest I am already dying; it already exists within me and the fear is an act of separation that I am not taking responsibility for, where I fear to lose myself, my body, my place in existence, yet if I clearly decided, defined and created myself as an Equal Being to/of and as LIFE, then I would not fear to lose my place or lose my life, as I would have substantiated myself AS life. I would recognize myself as Life.

A bit abstract still for me though. The simple point here for myself is that I have a resistance to the Death Research Series presented by EQAFE.com and to me, tells a lot about where I am in relation to Death. That it's a relationship I must still equalize in terms of no longer fearing it, not understanding it, and stop avoiding it and instead face/embrace my Fear of Death head on as the Death Research Series so graciously supports me with.

Why wait till Death to find out what happens, and face this Fear I have of it when I have the opportunity, and the GIFT as Eqafe.com to understand it HERE, now, in this Life, while I am still Living and perhaps ground myself in/as this Life before my time is up. The Reality is - Death is inevitable. Though the Question is - who will you be at your Death? Afraid of It or Embracing it? I suppose that depends on whether you ever actually Lived.

20 January 2015

After communicating with my partner a few weeks back, I had this experience of guilt and regret come up. I could see clearly this was in relation to who I have been accepting and allowing myself to be in relation to my partner, or when in communication/interaction with him. Around that time I had been what I defined as 'moody' - where I was not particularly satisfied or in some way annoyed or bothered by something, and instead of taking responsibility, directing myself and my own experience and thus NOT allowing it to direct me or how I express myself moment to moment, I rather projected this unto my partner in how I communicated with him.

It was like it's 'his fault' and he's doing something wrong and he should be the one to fix it. Now obviously I know this is not actually the case - whatever my problem is, is just that, MY problem. Though - how easy it becomes to, in relationships, blame and project our own (inner)stuff unto our partner/relationships.

So now the guilt and regret come from reflecting on what I'm accepting and allowing - though that's the point here I would like to address. It's only AFTER the fact, after I have already accepted and allowed myself to squander the moments I do have with my partner that I see the correction required of me. So then it's like wtf, why must I face consequence as the negative experience of guilt and shame before I decide to change myself, and direct myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to fight for my own limitations. Because that is essentially what I am doing when in such an experience when communicating with my partner - I am accepting myself as how I in that moment experience myself, as annoyed, frustrated, dissatisfied and I just sit in it, in some way blame my partner for not making me feel better, or for not being able to actually make me feel better, because that's also just it - I am the only one that can change the experience of myself as it is a self-created acceptance and allowance.

So the problem: Accepting and allowing myself to continue to 'sit in my shit' when interacting/communicating with my partner without directing myself within self-responsibility, projecting myself as the self-irritation, annoyance, or dissatisfaction unto my partner as if it's 'his fault', and then allow this to influence who I am in the moment of interacting/communicating with him. To then later feel guilt and shame as I see, realize and understand what I am doing, how it is NOT living to my full potential, how it instead perpetuates the self-limitations I've imposed on myself, and how I essentially squander the time I do have with him; separating myself from myself, him and the moment we have together.

The Solution: Take SELF-RESPONSIBILITY in the moment when/as I see myself in 'an experience' where there is something bothering me. Within my agreement, I have seen first hand how communication supports in 'talking through' any points that may be here and influence one or both partners, and how through self-honest communication and sharing can open up and 'lift' whatever weight was being carried by one or both partners. And so one solution is to be self-honest with myself, and my partner about what I am experiencing and be willing to BE the solution as no longer accepting and allowing myself to continue to participate in whatever is 'my problem', but to instead face it, deal with it, sort it out, direct it and let it go. So another part of the solution - to take that moment as the opportunity it is to make a Quantum Change in stopping, breathing, changing my physical position say from slouching to sitting up straight - asserting myself as directive principle of ME here in/as the moment, within/as my physical body and how I am expressing/presenting myself.

The Reward: Directing myself to live my utmost potential and expression in a moment by no longer accepting and allowing the Mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions that create an experience to direct/influence me as Who I am in the moment of interacting/communicating with my partner. Stopping blame, projections and expectations unto my partner to 'do something' to make me feel better and so no more causing a conflict within such communication/interaction. Giving myself the power to be self-honest within the ability to actually change me and no longer allow energy as experience to be my guiding force. To honor myself as Life as the self-awareness I am as each and every breath that exists in stability, consistency and actual enjoyment as self-expression of each moment. Living a Self-Agreement that can stand as a pillar of support for myself in relationship to other.

07 January 2015

An interesting question came up within me while listening to part two of the Atlantean's 'Mind Tiredness vs Physical Tiredness' recording. It was this: How is it possible that one can become physically tired or exhausted from just thinking? It's an interesting question because within the act of 'thinking' one is not physically moving, or in any way physically active. Yes - one can be physically active or moving while one is thinking, yet how can thinking as an act alone cause one to become physically tired? Seems to not make sense, right? I mean one is just thinking - one is not moving their legs, or arms, or moving in such a way where their heart rate is increasing. Thinking seemingly uses no physical energy to be exerted in order to do the act - and yet, how many times have we heard that we are tired from 'too much thinking' or similarly the statement, 'I'm emotionally exhausted'?What can one then gather from this consideration? That the act of thinking, and to become filled with or participate within positive and negative emotions and feelings through the act of thinking, is actually what consume the physical resources as energy of our physical body, as we can observe in how we become physical tired or exhausted while not actually doing anything in terms of exerting physical energy in action or movement. We are literally taking from our physical bodies the energy used to exist physically in our day to day lives, simply to fuel and sustain our internal/mind reality of thoughts, feelings and emotions. Seems silly we would allow such a point, as thinking does not get us to our job, and having outbursts of anger or sadness does not get us to the store to complete our grocery shopping. We cannot cash the future projections, imaginations, or past memories for a full tank of gas - these are all things that the PHYSICAL BODY support us to do. And so what have we done? Taking something that is practically required to exist and function day to day, and end up using it for impractical reasons. Where's the common sense in that?So I find it quite interesting how we have come to accept the reality that 'thinking too much' or stress, which is really just again thinking too much, can cause one to become physically tired or exhausted to the point where one thinks one must sleep more than what is practically necessary. This is in fact a manifested consequence of how we have valued our minds and what we participate within our minds as thoughts, feelings, and emotions, more than our physical bodies and so physical life and living - wherein we ALLOW our participation in the Mind to extract or MINeD physical substance to sustain it; we use our physical substance for the imaginary world in our minds, instead of using it to function fully, absolutely engages physically HERE, and in optimum potential throughout our day. Imagine a world where people used the physical life force they have as their physical bodies and used it to direct themselves within actual physical changes not only in their life, but in the life of others and for humanity and all life as a whole, instead of using the life force that we have to stay stagnant in the mind wherein we value that reality where we are the center of the Universe and our wants, needs, and desire become more important than what is happening on a global scale, effecting All Life Equally.Sounds so similar to how we are taking the resources from the Body as the Earth for temporary and instant economical gains, rather than using them to create a sustaining system that Benefits All; taking something that is practically valuable to ALL life on Earth and turning it into an impractical investment. As above so below, as within so without. Another clear example revealing how the nature of One as an individual actually mirrors and exists as what we see in/as the Collective Whole of Humanity. So - the responsibility is for each one to make a decision regarding who one is, what one participates in, what one values in terms of Real Life and Living or the Imaginary Universe where only the Me of Self-Interest Exists. Investigate Desteni.