Natural Birth, Natural Parenting

By MB
USA
From NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 19 No. 3, May-June 2002, p. 95

Around Christmas time in
1997, I began not feeling very well. I thought I had a stomach virus.
I was queasy and tired all the time. I had no food cravings. In fact,
nothing sounded good at all. Pregnancy never crossed my mind and since
I'd never had regular periods, nothing seemed abnormal. My doctor had
even told us that I would probably have a difficult time conceiving
without the use of fertility drugs. After a month of this, my husband
gave me a big hug and I pulled back because of very tender breasts.
He decided to run a pregnancy test at the hospital where he works as
a registered nurse. He came home that day with a pink rose and the news
that we were expecting a baby.

After a while I began to
get my appetite back, but I wasn't gaining as much weight as our midwife
thought I should so we had some extra monitoring in the last trimester
and I was on modified bed rest. She said I could swim a few laps or
take short walks as long as I took naps and rested. I also had to eat
more. All the resting gave me plenty of time to read, and read I did,
devouring practically every book in print on natural childbirth.

In addition to reading, we
watched a few videos. My husband and I knew all about what happens physically
when a woman gives birth. What we learned through reading was that childbirth
doesn't have to be painful, and that there were many, many things we
could do to prepare ourselves and my body for the beautiful event. We
set out to discover the things that help me relax. I created a beautiful
tape of my favorite relaxing songs, wrote out many inspiring quotes
that gave me strength, assurance, and peace, and practiced yoga poses
and relaxation. Every day, I visualized a peaceful, beautiful, natural
birth. I spent nearly every day in the pool, which did wonders to prevent
swelling and aching. By mid-August I was ready to give birth to our
child.

My due date came and went,
leaving me feeling anxious. I was tired of hearing people ask, "Are
you still pregnant?" My husband, mother, and midwife reassured
me that the baby would come when she was ready. Someone suggested eggplant
to stimulate labor. We ate lots of eggplant parmesan and baba ghanouj.
Another friend told me that watermelon could stimulate labor. Finally,
I asked my parents what they did the night I was born and learned that
they went to the hardware store.

On the morning of August
19th, my husband woke me before sunrise and said, "Let's get up
early, make pancakes, and go swimming." So we did. As we were wading
around the pool I began to feel some pleasant twinges in my lower abdomen.
As I had done almost every day for two weeks, I said, "Maybe the
baby will come today." [my husband] smiled and we swam some more. That
afternoon we ate watermelon and went to the hardware store. The twinges
continued but were so mild that I sent my husband out with his brother
to a movie.

While [my husband] was gone
I was in the most blissful, euphoric state. I addressed all the cards
to people with birthdays in the next few months, organized my bags
for the hospital, and straightened the house. [my husband] came home around
11 pm and we decided to have some ice cream. I took one bite and
suddenly felt fluid running down my leg.

I ran to the bathroom trying
to decide if my water had broken. When the twinges suddenly got much
stronger, we called the midwife, who told me to take a relaxing bath.
She said that true labor contractions would not stop in the water, and
told me to call her to meet us at the hospital when I felt I couldn't
wait any longer. As I "relaxed" in the warm water, [my husband] started
to load the car. I had nine pillows, my tapes, my scriptures, special
balls to squeeze in my hands, lavender massage oil, wooden massage devices,
and a little handkerchief filled with dried lavender blossoms. After
only a few minutes, the contractions became very in-tense, though not
painful, and we called the midwife and were on our way at around 1:30
am.

Because it was the middle
of the night, we entered the hospital through the emergency room
doors. I chose to walk to the labor and delivery floor, stopping
every few steps while I put my arms around [my husband]'s neck and
breathed "in"
relaxation, "out" contraction pressure. I also held my handkerchief
and breathed the relaxing scent of lavender. Slowly we made our way
up two flights of stairs. After an initial fetal monitoring, my contractions
became very intense, though still not painful. [Our midwife] came in
and helped me out of my prone position to stand up and do a little
dance with my hips to help bring the baby down. I was seven centimeters
dilated. Next I sat in the whirlpool, sipping juice and looking at
relaxing pictures of our honeymoon on the beach until I realized if
I didn't get out the baby would be born in the tub, which was against
hospital policy. I got out and ran, as well as a laboring woman can,
down the hall to our room.

When I couldn't help it
any longer I let my body begin pushing. I felt most comfortable on
my knees with my hands gripping the top of the bed. I had thought
I would want to hold onto [my husband], but at that moment I just
wanted him beside me. After about 30 minutes of pushing, I reached
down and felt my baby's head. The only pain I experienced was for
less than five minutes as she was crowning. A few minutes later,
at 4:31 am, [my husband] caught our first baby. He immediately handed
her to me. Crying tears of immense joy, I held [my new daughter]
in my arms. I offered her my breast and marveled at how her tiny
little mouth opened, searching for the nipple. She was born into
a dimly lit, quiet room where the voices were never louder than a
whisper. She didn't cry and made only a few little whimpers.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed.
My midwife had given us additional information about breastfeeding and
had suggested we attend a La Leche League meeting. I felt too private
about my breasts to consider sitting around with a bunch of women listening
to them talk about their breasts! Later I was surprised that my baby's
cry of hunger changed my inhibitions about breastfeeding in front of
others. I even began to enjoy breastfeeding. But in the beginning it
was just feeding, nothing more.

[My baby] developed colic
after a few days at home. We were in the process of remodeling a
home and moving, and [my husband] was working nights at a new job.
I felt isolated and a little depressed. All sorts of parenting advice
seemed to come from everywhere. I struggled with advice about schedules,
cribs, pacifiers, and more. My husband, mother, and midwife urged
me to listen to my heart. We wanted to parent naturally, just as
we had given birth naturally. When [my baby] began spitting out milk
and crying at the breast, I decided to call La Leche League to see
if they had any suggestions.

When I first talked to my
local LLL Leader, S, I felt reassured that I was doing a good job
at mothering. She read aloud from the Breastfeeding Answer Book about
the problems I'd been facing, and she invited me to the next LLL Group
meeting. Her warm, sensitive manner was calming.

At the meeting I met other
mothers who listened to their hearts and who wanted to parent their
children the way I did. I also found a library of books, such as The
Fussy Baby and Nighttime Parenting, that gave [my husband]
and me so much assurance that what we were doing was okay. Gradually
we became very comfortable with having a family bed and feeding [my
baby] became a much calmer time.

We now have two beautiful
daughters, since the birth of [a second daughter] in 2001. They are
both doing well and thriving on their mother's milk. I nursed my
babies to provide them with the best possible start in life, physically,
emotionally, and spiritually. For us, breastfeeding has become more
than a way of feeding. Breastfeeding has become a way of life.