For lols, I asked these guys to have an aggressive interview-fight with me. This is the result.

====

Q.Why are you such a dick?

A. Go fuck yourself.

Q. In an effort to promote yourself you use a follow/unfollow bot on Twitter. What is the name of the software you are using?

A. Why do you want to know? Trying to get your little bulletin board off the ground? That's adorable. Shut up. B. Dolan is talking. I'm about to make you fucking famous without the use of software. Strange Famous. Bitch. Might want to spring for a server upgrade because I don't know if FindMag has got the bandwith needed for actual people to visit the site. I thought your site was a youtube aggregator. I thought your site was a GoogleBot. I thought I shit in your mouth.

Q.What are your goals in using this software?

A. To get noticed by douchebags with nothing to do but read twitter all day, so I can help them legitimize their hobby. I thought your site was a used musical equipment catalogue. Sell me a Recorder.

Q.If your goal is to gain new followers how do you feel about the fact that an existing fan that gets a “B. Dolan (B. Dolan) is now following you on Twitter!” e-mail might be disappointed that you are essentially gaming the system?

A. I'm a rapper. Piss-cum. My job is to game the system. You know when I discovered Twitter Bots? When I got a message that said "BUN B IS NOW FOLLOWING YOU ON TWITTER!" and for a second I was like "WHAT? GTFO!" but then I checked it out and remembered "O WAIT, BUN B DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME BECAUSE UNLIKE ASHER ROTH, I DIDN'T PAY HIM TO GIVE ME BACKSTAGE DAP."

Then I put on my big girl panties, looked into what he was doing, and realized that I could learn something from his Twitter hustle. You're right though, what I should have done was cut myself in the dark and wondered why legends in the game are not throwing themselves at my feet, just by sheer virtue of the UNEARNED ENTITLEMENT and INFLATED SENSE OF IMPORTANCE bestowed upon me by a CULTURE THAT BREEDS MILLIONS OF IDIOT MANCHILD EMPORERS DEMANDING TOTAL ATTENTION AND BUILDING INTERNET SHRINES TO THEMSELVES.

You fucking slime. You fucking cockdrip cancer bubble.

Q.Does this software automate the unfollow task also?

A. Yup!

Q. You follow anywhere from 40 to 500+ people at a time, do you ever read the tweets of the people you follow using this software?

A. I follow 800 at a time. I unfollow whoever doesn't follow me back because fuck them. Starting a few days ago, I have begun following everyone who follows me and using lists to organize people. The healthy will go to work in my elite Feed mine. The unhealthy will tweet about Odd Future and Charlie Sheen until I lay them to waste. I follow no man. Men be phony.

Q.Did you not expect some negative feedback to utilizing this type of software, why or why not?

A. Of course I did, because WHITE PEOPLE.

Q.Do you hate blast emails for promotion? How is this different?

A. I'm literally pissing in your mouth while you ask me that question. Feel my piss splash against your teeth. Look at how the sun catches the glint of my unbroken golden stream as it hits you in the eye and goes up your nose before returning to your tongue. You drink my piss and then you say "Thank You Daddy."

Q.How do you respond to the statement that bots used to follow/unfollow seems disingenuous to 'social' media?

A. DISINGENUOUS TO SOCIAL MEDIA.

You worked hard on that question. C'mere Cracker Smiley, let me show you your facebook profile. See that cellphone picture you posted after taking a hundred audition shots, lining up the glare and the bathroom mirror just right to hide your flat nasal bridge, thin upper lip, and other tell tale signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?

You know, the picture you added that kewl "Negative" photoshop effect to. It's in your 'Just Chillin' album, next to the pics from high school with your Linkin Park poster cropped out of the background.

Wait... what we were talking about? Oh yeah. KEEPING IT GENUINE IN THE WORLD OF SOCIAL MEDIA.

Q.Why did you delete the string of tweets where you, @NielsvGeffen, and myself tweeted back and forth concerning this issue?

A. I had a better idea on how to present this lively debate. This interview is that idea. See that? We made something worth reading together.

That's why I keep a robot army, you fucking analpuss. SO I CAN DO MY WORK AND YOURS TOO.

Q. What are you currently working on? You mentioned the House of Bees 2 mixtape and the possibility of The Church of Love and Ruin making an appearance at SXSW next year, any updates on that front?

A. Yeah yeah. Things are in the works. Stop wasting my time with stupid questions and they might even come to life.

Q.Any new characters in the works?

A. I'm working on one called "Mr. I Give A Fuck," but there's still some development to do there.

Q.Anything else you would like to say about personal promotion or just in general?

pee. dolan wrote:
I'm literally pissing in your mouth while you ask me that question. Feel my piss splash against your teeth. Look at how the sun catches the glint of my unbroken golden stream as it hits you in the eye and goes up your nose before returning to your tongue. You drink my piss and then you say "Thank You Daddy."

Poetry.

Tue May 24, 2011 10:41 pm

redball

Joined: 12 May 2006
Posts: 6878
Location: Northern New Jersey

I'm going to have to take the side of pussy white boys everywhere and say that a bot that follows/unfollows people who already follow you is stupid. It's not like your followers are going to follow you again for that, but us pussy white boys tend to take unfollows the wrong way.

Take my friend who will go unnamed but is maybe a forum member. He was followed, was like "yipee"... but then was unfollowed shortly thereafter. The impression? That he had lost your acceptance by tweeting the wrong way.

Listen, Bernard, acceptance is very important to pussy white boy social networkers. What you're doing... is teasing them with it and then snatching it away. It's all very cruel. Kinda like what Saddam Hussein did to the oil market before his country was invaded and he was hanged in a dark, undisclosed location.... if you get my drift.

Wed May 25, 2011 7:28 am

b. dolanFBI agent

Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 5714

I hear you mang. Im a pussy white at heart, remember.

It's taken a little experimenting with this software, but like I said I'm now just unfollowing nonrecipricol follows, so my following will be more like a tweet message board or sumn. Tell your friend I love him.

Wed May 25, 2011 7:35 am

mzehe916

Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 4544
Location: Switzerland

I like Shane, too!!!

Wed May 25, 2011 7:44 am

remind

Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Posts: 2207
Location: NJ

Might have to steal "analpuss".

Wed May 25, 2011 8:54 am

Mark in Minnesota

Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 2066
Location: Saint Louis Park, MN

The weird thing about Twitter is the way people like to read more into its metadata than they really should. That kind of thing doesn't really happen in Facebook, at least not that I've seen.

Wed May 25, 2011 9:22 am

bigsoleBought his character on ebay

Joined: 27 Aug 2002
Posts: 720
Location: the o

AMAZING

that is why you are in my top 200 favorite rappers..

Wed May 25, 2011 10:20 am

b. dolanFBI agent

Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 5714

bigsole wrote: AMAZING

that is why you are in my top 200 favorite rappers..

you are in my top 500 businessmen for finally selling me on this clusterfuck i now find myself in. upon announcing i would follow everyone who followed me, one of the first responses was a kid I'd just followed going "I thought I was special :("

Wed May 25, 2011 1:03 pm

Mark in Minnesota

Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 2066
Location: Saint Louis Park, MN

Hey, b. dolan:

I followed you on Twitter because I wanted to be polite to your bot after it followed me.

Do you mind if set my Twitter account up with a bot that ignores your tweets for me?
I'm getting too lazy to consistently do it myself, it's time for some machine aid.

Wed May 25, 2011 10:46 pm

b. dolanFBI agent

Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 5714

Mark in Minnesota wrote: Hey, b. dolan:

I followed you on Twitter because I wanted to be polite to your bot after it followed me.

Do you mind if set my Twitter account up with a bot that ignores your tweets for me?
I'm getting too lazy to consistently do it myself, it's time for some machine aid.

Because I think you're just getting in on the nerd fun, I will ignore the chill that ran up my spine at this characterization of my intentions.

Well played, Mimsy.

Wed May 25, 2011 10:50 pm

TurnpikeGates

Joined: 30 Jun 2003
Posts: 517
Location: Bay Area

b. dolan wrote:

Mark in Minnesota wrote: Hey, b. dolan:

I followed you on Twitter because I wanted to be polite to your bot after it followed me.

Do you mind if set my Twitter account up with a bot that ignores your tweets for me?
I'm getting too lazy to consistently do it myself, it's time for some machine aid.

Because I think you're just getting in on the nerd fun, I will ignore the chill that ran up my spine at this characterization of my intentions.

Well played, Mimsy.

Were the borogoves?

Thu May 26, 2011 2:50 am

bigsoleBought his character on ebay

Joined: 27 Aug 2002
Posts: 720
Location: the o

i dont like open discussion of these things. once everyone starts doing something like this its no longer useful. and although people suspect stuff like this is going on, i dont think its a good idea to tell people exactly what.

Mon May 30, 2011 12:41 pm

Sage FrancisSelf Fighteous

Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21737

I sincerely don't think that it's a good service. Whatever benefits come with it are equally outweighed by the cluttering and the time-consuming bullshit that come with it. Sure, you may see the number of "followers" go up, but i'm not quite sure those people matter. I believe that very few of them do. Especially if they're following someone back just because they are being followed. I guess time will tell. I think there are much better ways to get a following on twitter. If you're looking for a good twitter following then you need to be a good twitterer. People RT fun/interesting/weird/funny tweets which results in more followers who then become aware of you because of your music and/or your philosophies. Maybe? i think that's how it works. Unless you're already a huge pop sensation. I don't know. It requires thought, time and tact, but I think it's a better way to use twitter than anything else I've seen.

As for Facebook, I'm not so sure. Still trying to figure that one out.

Mon May 30, 2011 4:13 pm

bigsoleBought his character on ebay

Joined: 27 Aug 2002
Posts: 720
Location: the o

every day i get people checking out my music who have never heard of me, tweeting at me for the first time like "oh shit this is dope never heard anything like this"... or people not knowing im on twitter becoming re-aware of my presence... "i loved selling live water havent heard your music for 10 years" etc. ever since i dropped the donald trump video i have used twitter in this capacity and have pulled new fans every day. doing whatever you can to make people aware of your music certainly can't hurt in this day and age.

Mon May 30, 2011 5:08 pm

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