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I'm curious as to how long you have been with your sensei. You indicated that you are a sandan, did you obtain all of your ranks with your current sensei? If you have I would guess that you have been unhappy for some time but have chosen not to do anything until recently, which is fine.

At this point you ask these questions to outsiders, it is my opinion that you should probably look elsewhere for a dojo.

I'm curious as to how long you have been with your sensei. You indicated that you are a sandan, did you obtain all of your ranks with your current sensei? If you have I would guess that you have been unhappy for some time but have chosen not to do anything until recently, which is fine.

I thought he was saying that his instructor was a sandan, he himself is a yonkyu. In which case he probably hasn't been doing this art for more than a year or two.

I've never understood the idea that I must by loyal to my teacher till death an/or senility do us part.

Yeh...such an idea sounds more japanese than western. I think thats where many japanese teachers run afoul when confronted with western ways of thinking and teaching. The history of aikido in Sweden is a perfect example of this. (long story)

I'll disagree with that for the simple reason that there is more effective hand placement for a pin or manouver without pain. You grip where you do because, although you can move the person without pain, pain is a possible incentive.

I disagree with the idea that the pain must be acheived. Control works just as well, pain is just the icing on the cake if you so wish to use it. I have found try to get the"pain" often leads to the hold failing in the first place.
Better to go for control imo