Let us turn our attention to the real question here: How to bring about Hiram Monserrate's crushing defeat in the ring. Here, a sneak peek at his training regimen:

As you see, he's pudgy, old, and slow. Just tap-tap the jab to the face and then POW, sink that right hand deep into his soft belly, game over. (For charity). He's a heavyweight, so all we need to do is to find a 200-pound female boxer/ domestic violence victim, and sponsor her. Suggestions?