Well, okay yes, some things are improving, sure…I mean, it is more difficult to actually see the remaining oil from BP’s catastraphuk, not too much is washing ashore these days which means the tourist industry is thriving again and that’s great, if you happen to be an owner or employee of such service oriented industries…but if you’re making you’re living or giving a damn about what’s happening below the water’s surface in the Gulf, then all those rosy prognostications coming from the BP camp are just so much bullshit bent on appealing to the markets and the government board types who do the approving of deep-sea oil leases…

We’ve all heard by now about the dolphins, especially those in Barataria Bay, the sicknesses and the strandings…essentially all the sick and dying dolphins that appear to be suffering from oil toxicity according to a study done by the NOAA…

Okay…well, a new study, this time by scientists at Haverford College have found “compelling evidence” that the BP oil, so wonderfully sunk and kept out of sight by the millions of gallons of toxic Corexit dispersant dumped by the oil company, has seriously impacted deep-sea coral.

“We would not expect deep-water corals to be impacted by a typical oil spill, but the sheer magnitude of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill and its release at depth make it very different from a tanker running aground and spilling its contents,” said Helen White, Assistant Professor of Chemistry at Haverford College, “Because of the unprecedented nature of the spill, we have learned that its impacts are more far reaching than those arising from smaller spills that occur on the surface…”

They found the damaged and dying coral 4300 feet below the surface of the water, showing Bob Dudley’s bullshit to be ever reaching…and then, a bit closer to the surface from Houma Today:

“Ever since the oil spill, it seems to me that it’s diminished completely.”

That is one full-time crabber’s view of what has happened the crab catch since the oil spill.

It is a belief that shows up in statewide and local numbers. Statewide, the crab catch in the first seven months of the year has gone from an average of 28 million pounds from 2006-09 to 17.7 million in 2010 as the oil spill was happening to 22.5 million in 2011. This year, anecdotal evidence suggests the picture could be even worse.”

Though no direct link has yet to be found between the depleted catches of not only crab, but white shrimp and brown shrimp, it would seem quite clear that when one pays attention to when this downturn began and asks what changed…one quickly recalls the death of eleven men, the dumping of oil and dispersants and a smiling CEO as BP’s oil profits continue on, and continue climbing…and with so many studies being worked on, completed throughout the Gulf, what have we yet to find out?

What are we not aware of yet? Twenty years later, has Alaska completely recovered from the Valdez?

Simply put, we don’t know the half of what is and what has gone wrong out there in the Gulf as much as those with an agenda love to claim we do…therefore, British Petroleum must continue to be held accountable for their irresponsibility, demonstrated not by their press releases or bullshit public relations advertisements but by their actions of today…and tomorrow…and the day and the month and the year after that. There’s a long way to go…a long way…and whereas BP stopped suffering a long, long time ago, the people who’ve been affected by the oil company’s shortcuts, mistakes and profit mongering are still living with the pain, every day.

We’re closer to the beginning, then the end…and BP shouldn’t forget that, not even for a minute because the people living along the Gulf?

Something I mentioned a few days ago, the arguments beginning about the allocation of the fine BP will pay for its oil spill…economy versus environment… and yeah, I get that some people would love to get renovations done for the Port of Mobile, but Louisiana is losing a large section of its, well, of its geographical state. Yes, we all knew that, but a recently released map spells it all out in greater detail…

“A new map produced by the U.S. Geological Survey National Wetlands Research Center has confirmed that during a 78-year period between 1932 and 2010, roughly 1,883 square miles, or 25 percent of Louisiana’s wetlands have been lost to combined elements of erosion due to tropical storms and hurricanes as well as coastal cutting by industry, the construction of certain dams and levees and most significantly the rerouting of major waterways including the Mississippi River following the great flood of 1927 that robbed the region of needed sediment for prolonged survival.”

Which isn’t to say that other states in the region haven’t lost or aren’t deserving of their fair share of the money…they have and they are, but when the money is allocated, perhaps this time, just this once, politicians will drop the politics in favor of the foresight necessary to truly address a problem rather than commissioning one more study that wastes another few years…

I’m serious, this is serious…this is very, very serious, so serious I don’t know how to stress the seriousness of it except to say, I’m serious, and yes, I need to talk to you alone. I’ll only talk to you.

Okay, just stay with me for a moment doc. I have my reasons and again, no interruptions. Okay, ready…okay. The Coast Guard, never thought much about the Coast Guard at all until April 20th and now I think about them all the time and no, I don’t want to rehash all events here, no. I just want to mention that hey, remember when that second oil well blew in the Gulf, back in like August? Remember the initial press reports, the ones that said there was the big oil slick coming out of it and everyone went oh, great, here we go again, now we got two blown up oil wells to deal with? Then the Coast Guard rushed on out and they said no, no, no, never you fear…it was all a mistake and everybody like breathed a sigh of relief and said oh, okay, good, great….wow, I don’t think I could have taken another one. Yeah, you remember that? You do? Okay, okay, good…what?

No, I know doc, I didn’t really think much of it at the time either. I mean, Thad Allen was making me immune to Coast Guard fuck-ups…oh, okay, okay, sorry…mistakes. Right. I figured it was just the Coast Guard, you know, being the Coast Guard…but now, now…algae.

Algae.

Not oil, algae.

The Coast Guard, those rotten fu…gentlemen, they’re starting to make me believe in conspiracy theories.

They are!

I know!

I don’t like it either!

Remember yesterday, when all those press reports came out about all the oil they found in West Bay…yeah, right, 400 feet wide, miles long, pictures of it and everything. No, not oil…no, not today…today it’s algae.

I know!

It is a relief, especially with all the migratory bird soon arriving, landing in the area right where the oil, right where the algae is drifting towards, but you know what doc? I’m worried. I’m wondering if the Coast Guard is lying. No, I don’t want to think that either. Really, I don’t and this may sound crazy, but follow me…so the Coast Guard says it’s not oil, it’s algae, right, but then they say they are going to send some of it away for testing. I’ve seen algae blooms before and they don’t look like oil slicks and I don’t care if the oil is weathered or not, and you know what the boat captain said? The one that reported the oil in the first place?

This:

“I’ve never seen algae that looked orange, that was sticky, smelled like oil and that stuck to the boat and had to be cleaned off with solvent,” said one captain, who like the others wished to remain anonymous for fear of losing their BP contracts. “I’ll wait for the lab reports. In fact, we’re also sending some samples off.”

No wait Doc, there’s more.

The boat captains said they have been telling the Coast Guard about the oil for a week, right?

Okay, so yesterday, the Coast Guard said they sent someone out on Friday to take a closer look at the possible oil slick, but wouldn’t have comment until Saturday, yeah the Coast Guard guy said they had never heard of it before, that the only report they had of oil from the area of West Bay was “a 10-by-10 area of foam and oil called into the Houma office by a shrimper.” Okay, but then today the Coast Guard said they have known about these reports all along, and actually been investigating it since mid-week. He said the reason he made his mistake on Friday is they have poor communication at the Coast Guard and there was more than one shooter on the grassy knoll.

What?

No, never mind that right now.

So, all the Coast Guard guys communicated now, and they talked about it for a few days and they decided it was algae after all and the boat captains who have been boating around in the stuff, well, they’re all just stupid and they want the Gulf to be messed up forever because they don’t want to work anymore and would just rather get huge checks from BP and drink Dixie beer until their livers explode.

What?

Well, that’s what I heard.

Who? Someone at the NOAA. What, why else would the residents of the Gulf Coast constantly report sightings, constantly question the safety, pay their own money to run their own tests, why else…unless it was…

I know!

Conspiracy!

It’s like fake oil slicks off the second exploding well, now you see it, now you don’t.

Now you see it, okay, you did see it but now it’s a plant.

That’s why I’m here…oh, but I almost forgot, no wait, sit back down..no, seriously, there’s more. Yeah, so then I’m reading this other AP article where the Coast Guard guy who said that though that spot was algae, there’s another spot about ten miles away that could be oil and they’re gonna take samples and test that one too. His name? Jeff Hall, yeah, so they’re sampling both spots. One place is huge and they say is just algae and the other is small and they say might be oil. Boat Captains know about the huge one, but don’t know about the little one. So doc, what happens if the Coast Guard mixes up the two test samples and it happens to prove their theory and also prove that all Boat Captains don’t know anything about water and oil, and even worse, what if the labs the Coast Guard sent their samples to are run by the NOAA? Those guys couldn’t find cooking oil at a McDonald’s. What happens if the Coast Guard samples and the boat captain samples say two different things?

It’ll be conspiracy!

I know!

That’s why I’m in here.

I know! Seriously!

Okay…nap, yes…nap…wake me up for the Saints game, yeah?

Good, thank you, yeah Cleveland sucks…The only thing good about Cleveland turned into an asshole and moved to Miami.