The Enneagram is a personality system that outlines 9 distinct personality types, each of which has a distinctive characteristic. In our last post Understanding Enneagram: What is It, we’d talked about what the Enneagram is and a brief overview of the 9 different types.
Today, let’s look at how the Enneagram is an incredibly influential tool for relationship management.
Something to Love, Something to Ignore

A lot of people, not always couples, face relationship problems because they don’t understand that the way a person is behaving or reacting is not personal but just something that is a part of who they are. Each type will have a distinctive feature that may attract you to begin with but then, become a thorn in your side.

For instance, partners of a Type 3 or The Performer would love how dedicated and focused they are but wouldn’t appreciate the “workaholic” mode too much. Once they realize that, you can show them that you love them regardless of whether they’re a success or not.

You can also heal relationships in other aspects of your life by identifying the type for various people, such as, parents, siblings, a dear friend and then, applying your learning to make sure that the relationship doesn’t suffer.

Knowing the Patterns Can Heal the Hurt

Knowing and acknowledging the patterns can help you look beyond the hurt or angst caused by a particular person and realize that it is something that may even be beyond their own control.

The Uniqueness and the Sameness

While people of the same type will have similar characteristics, each one of us is unique and none of us will act in the same way, or have the same points of view. How we respond to other personality types depends on external factors such as our family, society, and so on. Knowing your Enneagram types will allow you to work on your side of the relationship in partnership with the other person, rather than feel isolated, alone and angry.

Recommended Reading:

The Enneagram in Love and Work by Helen Palmer Written by the leading practitioner of the Enneagram, Helen Palmer, this book is a detailed and comprehensive guide on how to have sound, excellent and stable relationships in one’s personal and professional life. The book not only covers the 9 different types in love and work, but also have a comprehensive Directory of Relationships to help readers understand how the equations really work.

iEnneagram PERSONALITY: This app has 12 sections explaining the required Enneagram types theory as well as 1 Enneagram technique that helps you focus on integrating duality and understanding personalities better.

Join us in the Mindsetmax community on Facebook and Twitter to share, connect and grow!