in which i roar.

Sometimes you try and do brave things, like fly solo with two babies. And you’ve made it through the airport and a flight without too much of a hitch. Your shoulders are squaring up and you’re starting to think that you just might fly solo again to Tokyo next week, just for kicks, just because you are mama, hear you roar.

But right after you land, your recently potty-trained toddler announces that he needs to go potty. You ask if he can wait three minutes before you deplane. POTTY!!!!!!!! So you look behind you, and there’s not too many people waiting in the aisle. With baby strapped to your front, you start hurling the three of you toward that nasty airplane bathroom. Passengers are flinging themselves left and right to get out of your way, because they totally get it.

But then, there stands one flight attendant, a woman dressed in uniform from another unnamed airline (UNITED), who refuses to move. You ask her kindly to move, because most people respond to pleads from a desperate mama. She muses over this question for approximately 30 seconds before slowly making her way out of the aisle – BUT SHE ALTOGETHER REFUSES TO MOVE HER LUGGAGE. You look at her and you look at your kid, who’s now doing a wild potty dance. She instructs you to CLIMB, with baby, with toddler, OVER HER LUGGAGE, because it can’t be moved out of the aisle (because she won’t move it out of the aisle). Your son proceeds to have an accident. So you do what any dangerous don’t-mess-with-me-mother-hen would do: You climb over her luggage along with your pee-drippy son.

Can’t make this stuff up. Enjoy your Samsonite, lady.

Love Cara “Sometimes I rage against the machine …and then I kiss my baby” Meredith

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Have you joined the be, mama. be Facebook page? Sometimes we have quite the story time over there. Otherwise, what would you do in this situation? Would you rage against the machine? Would you start Ugly Tears in the middle of the aisle? Would you punch Ms. United Attendant in the face?

I get this. And also, we had a terrible experience with United flight attendants on a flight from England to the U.S. They had a whole row of empty seats the flight attendants weren’t using while serving drinks, so our hyper toddler wanted to climb up and down the seats for a little bit while the seatbelt sign was off. The flight attendant from United came over and scolded me as if I was a school boy for using the seats for the flight attendants.

Oh Ed, I get it. I try to follow the giving people the benefit of the doubt rule, because, hello, you’re human, I’m human, we’re all human. But when someone pulls something like this and practices the exact opposite response of basic kindness, it’s behind perplexing. And disturbing. And angering.

On, BLESS. The ONLY thing that would have made the story better, in my notoriously-inappropriate mind, is if you would have let the Little Man whip it out and straight up pee on her shoes. Or even just on her luggage. I mean, seriously – why should YOU have to deal with pee-soaked clothes when YOU were the one that was in full working order to keep an accident from happening?! Grr…. #somepeople

“Oh, he didn’t make it. You won’t mind if he sits on your luggage while I try to find something to dry him off with, will you? Fabulous. Now sit right there little man while mommy spends an inordinate amount of time pretending to look for paper towels.”