Support for parents of the incarcerated

One local group is offering support to parents who have children in prison.

TABITHA CLARK - Daily News Staff

One local group is offering support to parents who have children in prison.

The Mothers of Incarcerated Children support group is a part of the Bethel Word Ministries. The group meets the third Sunday of every month from 9:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. at the church, located at 1675 Halltown Road.

Cheryl Cole, the founder of the group, said that her own struggles over her son’s incarceration led her to start the support system.

“My son is in prison,” she said. “When he got into trouble, I didn’t know anything about the system. I didn’t have anyone (except my husband) to talk to about the situation.”

Cole realized that there were probably other women in the Jacksonville community who felt the same way.

“There are other women out there who need support when their kids get into trouble,” she said. “All of the women in the group have kids in prison. Even though some have come home, the women still come to the group because you still need someone to talk to … You still worry about them.”

Cole said that while the group is mostly mothers, fathers are welcome and a few men have come to the group.

Cole said her son, who is 25 now, went into prison when he was 18.

“He was a good kid, good student. He graduated high school, came from a two-parent home and was raised in the church,” she said. “He just got in with the wrong crowd after high school and got into trouble with the law.”

Most people will not have to know what it is like to have a child behind bars.

“They don’t know how it is … You can’t see them when you want to, you can’t hug them and you can’t really talk to them on the phone much,” she said.

Cole said the holidays are one of the hardest parts of the year.

“Holidays are a big thing because you don’t have your child with you,” she said. “You don’t even want to celebrate sometimes.”

Another issue parents run into with a child in prison is transportation. Cole’s son, like many others, is in a facility that is hours from her home.

“I try to go maybe once a month because he’s three hours away from home,” she said. “That’s another burden on mothers, especially if they can’t afford to drive and see their kids.”

Overall, being able to talk about the hardships and have shared experiences with a group of people is the biggest motivation for the group.

“Once our kids leave the courtroom, you don’t really know what all happens to them,” she said. “There’s a lot you have to deal with when kids get into trouble. You really do need support.”

Assistant District Attorney Kaelyn Thompson said that all those who have been touched by crime need support.

“The non-offending family members are often overlooked because they are not a direct victim of the crime committed,” she said. “I think a support group for them is such a good idea. (The DA’s office has) the ability to get support for the victim, but we can’t get services for the family of the defendant.”

Thompson said that she doesn’t know who else, other than a support group, could provide services to a defendant’s family member.

“This group makes a lot of sacrifices,” she said. “They didn’t do anything wrong; their son or daughter did.

“I see a lot of parents of defendants asking themselves what they did wrong. I think it is important that they have an outlet to see that people make choices. It can help them to not put the blame on themselves.”

Thompson said she feels it is important for these family members to be encouraged to do the best they can with what they have and begin to pick up the pieces.

“They were not guilty of the crime, but society can see them that way. They should be criminalized no more than the victim,” she said.

Overall, Thompson said, the group is a good idea.

“It is a positive thing in the community,” she said. “Anything that benefits people who have to deal with crime in any way and helps them overcome that hurdle is a positive thing as a whole.”

For more information on the Mothers of Incarcerated Children support group, contact Cheryl Cole at 910-238-2394.

Contact Daily News Reporter Tabitha Clark at 910-219-8454 or Tabitha.Clark@jdnews.com. Follow her on Twitter at @TabithaLClark or friend her on Facebook.

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