Our society has a common misconception from all the programming of romance tv shows, novels, and movies that we must find a partner. That we must not only find a partner but find one that doesn’t give us any trouble so that can be comfortable and mundane. It teaches women to look for that knight in shining armor.

Do you know why that knight has armor? Because he is afraid. Because he has placed walls on him self from feeling due to past experiences. He is in fear and he thinks he has to protect him self. A real knight takes off his armor, or has many battle wounds on that armor to the point it appears he is wearing none. Because he knows the truth. He knows that by shining his heart and allowing himself to be vulnerable he allows true intimacy and connection to his partner.

I feel that is entirely to unrealistic to seek the romantic novel type that media suggests to find.

Throughout my life I have been guilty of not being open , honest, and vulnerable.. But as times progress I have learned that vulnerable is not a weakness like most of the society suggests. It is your biggest strength. Why? Because not only does it create connection. There is no longer anything you have to defend your self from. What could a person possibly say to you that would hurt or offend you if you have been open and honest in every instance of your life?

You would simply look at them and giggle because you see what they are attempting to do.

-A real relationship to me is one that is raw and open, You share all of your hidden past secrets. Ones that you have been ashamed of so that you can heal together from. Ones that you have been guilty of doing so that you can heal together from.

But regardless of what you have done your partner still loves and accepts who you are without judgement. But then again even if they have judgement if they are strong enough to heal their own judgement to move forward from. Because they realize that you had to go through all of that to be the person you are today. To be that big ball of love you are in this very moment and they can see past all of the things you may still be holding on to.

-A real relationship to me is one where you understand situations will come up that you may perceive as mistakes, but in actuality had to play out the way it did so that you can continue to grow together. But you still decide to stick it through because you are both growing.

We are like children still learning how to walk, and then run.

-A real relationship to me is having no attachment on one another and not being in fear if that person is no longer going to be in our lives. Because we understand that person was not the cause for our greatness, our happiness, our peace, our bliss. It was simply that they were a mirror to this reflecting the potential of what you are and you decided to walk through the door to then experience it your self.

-A real relationship to me is one where the sexual expression is not limited by fear. It is raw, dirty, sexy, sensual, slow, fast, hard, soft. But yet you still take time to honor one another during the act and you take time and pause to look into each others eyes because you realize something very profound…that this body you are holding , kissing, touching, is another expression of your own divinity. That you are never separate from each other, and in essence you are simply making love to your self.

-A real relationship to me understand that hesitation, limitations that are placed on how each other can express their love to them or others that will come into their lives is placing a block on your unconditional love to be that shining radiance for all to witness. To allow the freedom to explore and truly give your self to who ever you feel requires your connection. But still you return to one another. Because you are each others foundation, you are each others rock. We place no ownership on each other.

-A real relationship to me is simply being…deciding to truly walk the path together. Taking ownership for all of your outside creations and not placing blame on one another no matter what it is because everything was created by you for you, to reflect an emotion you have yet to be addressing. Calling each other out and not catering to any bullshit stories of limitations and fears that each other may exhibit. So we can continuously grow together. Because the moment we become comfortable is the moment we begin to stop growing.

So kick that shit up, stop catering to another persons story of fear and limitation.

And lastly…

-A real relationship to me is one where you truly drop all walls, all armors, all barriers and expose your heart and give your all without fear of getting heart broken. Because heart break only comes when you place attachment on what you want.

Yes you can have goals together, but be ok if it doesn’t play out the way you envision it.