>>66248790make it a bonus action or make it so the next attack from anyone has advantage, might be kinda busted with either change though. Limit it to weapon attacks if you make it a bonus action to avoid spell cheesing.

>>66248790Hard to say, but dropping the concentration requirement off the bat is a good idea.Having it touch range is one option (i.e. so he can buff people), and lasting 1 minute or until used like guidance can work too (I know guidance has concentration requirement, but that should be dropped too in all honesty).

I wouldn't move it to bonus action though, that'd get all kinds of bullshit. If he's an EK, I'd consider removing the whole 'next round' portion of the text and just having it as 'next attack roll' so he can use it with War Magic.

>>66248627I have some autism for the thread.I'm working on some homebrew with an Orc Race Variant that has a modified Savage Attacks that grant exploding dice on crits rather than one guaranteed extra.To supplement this, and to go with the Samurai-themed Orcs in my setting, I've added a Katana weapon, a 1d8 slashing weapon with the Versatile (2d4) property.Then I ran several different optimal weapons through AnyDice for both Half-Orcs and Orcs, with and without GWF.Here's the link: https://anydice.com/program/15060

Interesting to note that despite being less swingy, the average damage is still lower than the typical GWF Greataxe Half-Orc on a crit.

>>66248647No, its to piss off the gunfags. Seriously, fuck the thunder cannon cunts, true artificers thrive in the party support role, and now we can do something in combat along with wizards and paladins

>>66248859That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

>>66248865There was something with the one guy that spiraled into social media silliness, since which Mearls hasn't really been active on official channels. The later announcement that Wizards was bringing on a couple of new guys (including at least one Paizo dev) has led some people to think Mearls got canned, and the new guys are his replacements. That said, it's all just speculation.

>>66248929Turning into people they trust. Turning into them and getting seen while committing a crime. Constantly spying on them and giving info to the BBEG while leaving calling cards so they know they are being spied on, but never taking the same form twice.

>>66248859Forgot to mention, Katanas have the Finesse property, thus filling the 1d8 slashing finesse weapon hole in the PHB weapons. The 2d4 is to avoid stepping on the longsword's toes while fitting mechanically and thematically with my setting's Orcs.Same thing with any other weapons or feats I homebrew, the point it to allow things missing in the PHB without breaking the game or being a soulless copy with an extra property.Naginatas allow for kensei monks with reach and proper martial weapon damage, and don't have the heavy property to allow small creatures a reach weapon with decent damage. 1d8 so it's not a straight upgrade over the Glaive, and it doesn't work with PAM. Opens new options without breaking the game.

>>66248897they make pretty sweet Wizards, assuming you're playing with feats, since you can toss Moderately Armored and Resilient: CON onto them in really nice ways with point buy. Saving Face can go a long way towards maintaining concentration

>>66249148I still hate that both half-elves and half-orcs are optimally better at stuff than their parent race.Am I the only one using the half-elf variants from SCAG by default, just to rein the mutt fuckers in a bit?

>>66249228>Bonus chargeGoblins have a better version of it though.Fucking GOBLINS.>Racial fury featWhich Half-orcs have access to, so it's a moot point.By the way, Half-Orcs are worth 3 feats, maybe even slightly over.

>>66249174Trades +1 Con for -2 Int. Straight up bad, and your party will paint you into the "durr me smash, is book food" role. Not even Grog spent the whole campaign like that. I had a That Guy at my table who will narrate OVER THE DM when my Barbarian failed a skill check, just to emphasize how I went DURR. I'm glad he got disintegrated and ripped up his own sheet.Trades >implying that killed me for Aggressive. This would be an upgrade except most classes can find better things to do with a BA than 30ft movement.Trades Brutal Critical for Powerful Build, which is a wash.Overall Orc < Half Orc

An autistic question - how would a half dragon/half elf kid look like? Would it be immediately visible that their elven mommy was fucked by a dragon or can they pass for an elf without much problem? I need to set up a character twist in my campaign and that sort of genetic shit is driving me crazy.

>>66249228You mean the feat they can't take, because it's only Half-Orcs? The one that even if they could take, would only grant them a feature the Half-Orcs get every time they criticize once per rest? The one that they can't even use half of BECAUSE THEY DONT FUCKING HAVE RELENTLESS ENDURANCE?

>>66249291Introduced what are consistently the weakest archetypes in the game, while also adding the two strongest cantrips for any gish player nudging them into "mildly bullshit" territory (Pure martials tend to be better on damage, pure casters tend to be better on utility, as it should be, but Gish now get to be a little too efficiency for what they are)

>>66249291The plight of new material is that if you don't make it at least on parity to existing stuff, no one will want to play it. So outside of some spells, that's the lion's share of the mechanical material provided within.

>>66249293Because players kept bugging WotC to allow them to play as monster races. WotC finally gave them monster races in Volo, but made them so godawful that nobody in their right mind would ever play them. They are kinda passive - agressive like that.

>>66249293not putting them there would get them more shit than them just being bad, because DMs can fix that shit easily enough.>>66249291the cantrips and the rogue subclasses are the only things worth a damn in scag. PDK, Oath of the Crown, and Bladesinger are some real dog ass trash especially.

>>66249332How does he prevent himself from dying? I get that a Sorlock should be dealing a lot of damage, but has he fought creatures that threaten him? Let's say, tunnels or cave systems with multiple skirmisher/ambush types and lityered with cover?

>>66249326I don't mind FR content. I just need WotC to finally tell me how the 5e lore works and what is supposedly canon. MToF doesn't work with Dragonlance, Forgotten Realms and Eberron, SCAG contradicts PHB, and so on. At this point we have this huge mess of lore from every setting dumped into one pile and they pretty much tell us: "figure it out yourself".

>>66249332There are ways you can do that without affecting the mechanics of his play. Two of my favorites:>Get an enemy or three in melee range and all those blasts have disadvantage. Animate Objects off a hostile but protected spellcaster does nicely. Having enemies ambush from behind also does wonders.>Dominate Person. Spirit Nagas get this and it's the best way to punish a minmaxer. Burn through all his resources while you've got him Dominated. How does Con save proficiency feel now that you're blasting your own frontline for 4d10+20, dipshit?

Horror story about how I fucked up the game I was GMing. Also fucked up my circle of friends.

> GMing game to friends. Party of 4.> Normal game, not to serious, kind of fun.> Players spend the night in the best tavern in the city, known for having the most beautiful singer in the realm.> Human Assassin Rogue and Elf Valor Bard both want to fuck the singer.> Discussion begins.> Rogue tells elf can't fuck the singer because he's an elf and he has a small dick.> Player say he does not. Both put their dicks out to compare.> "Er... Er.... Ah... Okay... Roll to determine dick size..."> Elf wins. In the end no one ends up fucking the singer (they just showed their dicks on public), but elf starts teasing rogue about how he has a small dick.> Later that game, fight happens. Rogue goes down. Elf immediately begins to make jokes about how he is weak because he has a small dick.> Find magic cape. Elf tells rogue he can't have it because his dick is small. Rogue is starting to get angry.> Party sets camp. Rogue takes first watch.> "Okay, is everyone sleeping?"> "Yup."> "I grab my dagger, go towards Elf, and cut his dick off."> Silence. I don't know what fucking do. Players think it's a joke, but Rogue is serious... Er... Roll attack I guess?> "Assassinate gives me advantage! Let me roll... Okay, 15 and 19". Elf AC is normally 20, but he does not sleep with armor and shield... It hits... And it has sneak attack damage... And it's a crit... Elf drops to 0. > "O.... O... Okay, you cut his dick off... I guess... The pain is so high that Elf faints"> Elf player gets up, starts discussing with rogue. Tells me that Elf is going to comit suicide if the wakes up. Tells me that he is going to roll a character just to come and kill rogue. > At this point players are close to trading blos in rl. I call the game off.> They do not wish to play with eachother anymore.

>>66249426Well, start adjusting them to challenge him.>but the rest of my players aren't minmaxingSo adjust them to challenge HIM. The 10 str Barbarian who thought he had a neat character idea won't care if you start giving enemy casters Counterspells to beat your sorlock's EB spam.

Even without the warforged coffeelock who goes without short rests, a warlock 2/sorcerer 3 with enough free time can take a long rest and then a few short rests to charge up their sorcerer spell slots, right?

That seems stupid. Why does it seem that the strongest of sorcerer/warlock builds, in some way, abuse the badly-written short rest mechanics?

>>66249441Because it was created by theorycraft retards that never play. If you try to pull shit like that with any serious GM you will just recieve the nerfhammer, or better yet, a well deserved fuck off.

But that does mean that the warlock/sorcerer builds get to make a mockery of the awful, awful short rest rules by RAW, no?

This only goes to show how bad those rules are, never mind the part where one-hour short rests are so niche and inconvenient during actual adventures.

I have a sorcerer 2/warlock 3 in my game right now. I have already DMed the first session. I know how the warforged coffeelock build works, but it slipped my mind that even without a warforged coffeelock, a sorclock can still abuse the short rest mechanics.

It just so happens that this is an adventure format wherein the party can reliably have several hours to prepare at the start of each day.

My hotfix has been to declare that Pact Magic slots simply cannot be used for sorcerer class features at all, but I have to wonder if there is a better solution I am missing.

Can I get some RP advice? TLDR: I've only ever played happy go lucky characters, so how do I RP a soldier who has seen shit without being a brooding edgelord

My entire DnD career I've played cheery Bards and crazy wizards, but now one of my buddies wants to play a campaign in Ravnica set in the aftermath of Bola's destruction I took this opportunity to play something out of my comfort zone, an Izzet Artificer who fought at ground zero and witnessed death and horrors aplenty. He has gone from being a zany inventor guy to a more somber grounded individual, and I've set a character flaw where he will not leave a person behind. He has a sort of PTSD over people dying on him and will do whatever it takes to stabilize someone. Whenever I visualize myself playing the character I am really worried of over doing the whole somber, moody, brooding personality and I really dont want to be a damn edgelord. Anyone have any advice playing a character like this?

>>66249419You need a back bone dude. Not reeling them in when they wanted to compare dicks sizes was optional, maybe I would have let it slide for keks. But when we started targeting the elf I would have put my foot down saying that I won't dm infighting over something childish.

>>66249510Presentation is more important than canned lines. Anything along the lines of "I've seen some shit in the war..." is tropey. Just try and put yourself in the shoes of a doggedly loyal war veterans then react to the situation at hand, instead of trying to force the character through. Give it time to develop, as often times characters need several sessions to really shine through. Developing why they may have fought in the war can help give a solid idea too. We're they protecting a family member? An ideal? Their country? Etc. Most importantly try not to be anxious.

>>66249549Solid adviceThanks, I'll try and keep all that in mind throughout the coming sessions, and Ill try to erase all cliches from my vocabulary Im sure the nerves will go in time, like I said this is my first time venturing from my comfort zone, so I'm prettt self conscious on it

The player, in this case, wants to be a "pure caster" warlock with medium armor and a shield. There is already a cleric in the party, with heavy armor and a shield, and there is also a fighter/wizard with heavy armor and a shield.

There has to be an actually good pure caster warlock build that is not just a sorclock.

Player in my game just picked up the spell Dream. The targeting of the spell is vague. "Choose a creature on the same plane of existence known to you." RAW that sure sounds like a player could pick anyone they've heard of. I was thinking of making it at least Death Note level where the caster had to have a name and face in mind when casting. Maybe a piece of hair or something that belonged to the person. I don't want to nerf the spell but think it needs something to better define the targeting limitations. What are your thoughts?

>>66249419>tl;dr Elf has a bigger dick than rogue, rogue gets mad and cuts elf's dickNo, the TL;DR is that one player turned a joke into repeated targeted harassment and then got pissy when there was retaliation. The Elf was fucking with him in game, and then was fucked with back in game, at this point it's awkward but it's all on the table. The rest is just entitlement and pissbaby anger. "Waaaaaah I wanted to just get my way and get all gear and win every single time while also harassing him with no repercussions! How could he take that form me????"

>>66249655V human is not a standard race and some dms don't allow it. Lock falls off hard after 11. MA is worse than full casters spell slots in every way and all but 2 or 3 mid to high level invocations suck.

>>66249039Take it from someone who has one, they're not finesse weapons by any stretch. Fill that void with a sabre or something - much nicer weighted design overall.Katanas are products of their limitations, they're the best Japan could do with the fuckawful iron they had.

>>66249709You should look at the gritty realism rules then. The game is not made for 1 long rest per battle, or no short rest per day. It doesn't have to be 1 hour or 8 hours for a long rest. You can set the right time. The only important thing is that you balance the amount of rest with the amount of shit the party takes.

>>66249670The Rogue started a stupid thing by saying his make-pretend dick was bigger, the Elf player laughed at the Rogue player after the dice said otherwise, and the Rogue player decided to engage in PvP which is usually the hallmark of the worst kind of player (like come on, how many times have you heard about That Guy rolling up a Rogue and slitting his party in the middle of the night?) even if he hadn't been the one to get assmad about his make-pretend babydick.

>>66249688No, "it" wasn't started until one player took it too far. Players and friends rib each other, it's natural, but most people know when it's not funny anymore. Hours into the game and the same stupid joke is being made? Every time anything comes up, it's back to that same thing? It's effecting more and more of the game every time, including looting and other mechanics? The Elf player basically was having too much fun at someones expense and then got shut down.

>>66249708Wtf does power gaming have to do with it? Unoptimized wizards, druids, and sorcs scale better that optimized locks. It's a fact of life. That's a problem in late game balancing wotc needs to fix in the next book.

>>66249419See what I would do is give them a scrap of paper and ask them to privately at the same time, draw their character's groin area. I would offer everyone at the table the opportunity to participate and who ever participates can reveal their genitalia whenever they so choose and then prompt the two churlish troublemakers to show the table and the game world what they had drawn. If one is smaller than the other so be it, but if one player draws a freakishly schlong then that can be a topic of discussion and pity as well. Make sure that your players give a sense of scale to their penises and try to have fun with it. They may add or omit as much detail as they want. Either way everyone should feel comfortable with their proportions. If a player is unable to illustrate their PC's anatomy, that will translate into the game world as an being too shy to do it. However no one will be able to draw anything after someone reveals themselves. If I were you and if I were able to get my players to resolve things, I would do a darkest timeline situation where everything that happened was because of one tiny change in the game universe. In this case... you should have the main bouncer guy be stuck at home taking care of his poor dear mother because she slipped on a pickle. And who dropped that pickle? A perfectly normal person, but if you look at their sandwich, you'll see that there is a dangerous number of pickles on it which is because the guy working the sandwich cart that day was super high. So you interrupt the sandwich maker's clambake and then he puts an appropriate number of pickles for the perfectly normal guy and he never drops anything on the street and the poor dear mother never slips and falls and the main bouncer guy kicks the churlish bard and rogue out for playing with their dicks. How's that sound, sempai?

You can't tell kids shit. So you let them make their own mistakes. With a subtle I told you so afterwards, but uou'll be damned if you let them face the consequences alone because they are your unit, your team, your squad, and they are your responsibility to bring them home.

>>66249771An adventuring workday can be 24 hours, 6 days, 1 week, 10 days, 1 year. Just as long as you wear your players in the appropriate way and don't make long rests too easy. If long rests are very easy players will tend not to short rest.

Remember that the 6 to 8 encounter rule is not only for battle encounters. Anything that waste resources count.

>My players decide to start a crime syndicate>they then get really fucking creative with the shit they do>This is because this is also technically a continuation of a a series of campaigns and they are all high levels as a resultlike for example the Wizard used True Polymorph to turn the Cities existing mayor into a Cow so the Bard could manipulate his way into becoming the new mayor, then they sold the Cowmayor to a Farmer who had no Idea who it really was

>>66249419Retcon it by stating that Hanali Calanil intervened and healed the Elf's manly dick. Elves need babies after all. Also, somehow the Rogue's dick can no longer get an erection. You don't fuck with Lady Goldheart. Or come up with some other creative punishment for a rogue that takes a piss contest too far.Seriously, why did you get involved in this spat in the first place?

>>66249746>the one to get assmad about his make-pretend babydickBut the Elf was so assmad about his make-pretend dick that he was going to roll and entire character for the sole purpose of killing off the rogue.

>>66249879No. The issue here is a player turning a gag into an excuse to take more and more than his fair share and acted innocent when the person he was taking from said no.Tell me this, would your opinion be different if the rolls had gone the other way? The results don't fucking matter here, the behavior does. If the rogue had the big dick and the Elf had been so bitter about that it continued to repeatedly effect gameplay and was a source of strife and harassment, my answer would be the same.

>>66249907So taking two only applies when it would make you right huh. Yes I'm putting all the blame on the Elf, he was the one who turned a joke into an issue. He escalated the conflict. He refused to move on, and pushed and pushed until he got pushed back.

>>66249824lol you think that's mebut yeah I posted a thumbnailyou've been brought into this fucked up timeline with us anonhope you're ready for that for that rest of your lifedon't worry this isn't the darkest timelinejust the most absurd

>>66249941When the players rolled dice they were both voluntarily taking part in a silly fun joke. After that the Elf pushed it, the Elf forced it to be an issue for the rogue until it became an issue for the Elf.

>>66249419>rogue basically isn't allowed to play his character because the Elf makes everything about this one thing no matter what>can't even settle for having fun in combat no that he can't have fun in roleplaying because Elf is using it as an excuse to take gear from himI have no sympathy for the Elf. He should be kicked and tell the Rogue that he can come back.

>>66248116This homebrew has some alright monster hunteresque crafting rules, my only real issue with it is the Bone Armor/Weapons are way too much of a downgrade. I'd personally make it -1 AC but +1 Dex mod

>>66249952If you roll low Dex for your PC then their low Dex is going to come up until you make a new character.If you roll low int for your PC then their low int is going to come up until you make a new character.If you roll low on penis size for your PC then you're just going to have to accept that that's a thing that will come up until you make a new character.

>>66249927Holy fuck, the other player literally choped his dick out. You're one of those bastarts that say school kids are at fault for school shootings because the bastards that did it suffered bullying?

>>66250020What I'm hearing from you is that roleplay shouldn't effect mechanical conflict. You say this while defending the Elf stealing loot over roleplay. Again, the Elf escalated it. He's the one who pushed it here. He played dirty and then cried when he found himself in the mud.

>>66248875Im happy with the new artificer as a gunfag, two musket balls per turn plus arcane weapon 2d12+10 + 1d6 per round is more than enough. I have similar damage output to a GWM barbarian but with better accuracy plus I have non-concentration spells

>>66249861i can not decide whether that fate is evil or notthough, its always interesting when the party solves their problems using methods other than murder, especially when they do it with spells such as that which are normally forgotten about in 90 percent of scenarios

>>66250057At any point the rogue player could ask the elf player and or the DM to step aside and talk to them about how he thought they were taking the teasing too far, but there's absolutely NO excuse for dismembering other players at your table

>>66250092If the dick size was actually the issue here than the Elf would've lost his dick that night in the inn. He didn't. It wasn't after long, repeated, targeted harassment that amounted to mechanical losses that the Rogue did something about it. For the last fucking time the size has absolutely nothing to do with it, it's the behavior.

>>66250116>Player goes down>Made fun of with words>Obviously raised so no harm no foul>Get some loot>Made fun of with words>No idea who actually ended up with the cloak, could've been the elf, the rogue, or neither>Rogue physically assaults and disfigures the elf>"This is fine"I think you might have irl brain damage

>>66250193>First do not harm>18th levelI haven't read any of your mechanics, but boy do you need to reevaluate the names if your features.Also, why would anyone want a non-magical medic when healing magic exists? Or at least a rogue with fast hands?

>>66250222I just realized I posted an older version. The newest one says:>As an action, you can spend one use of the healer's kit to restore a creature hit points by 1d10 plus your fighter level.This is not to step on the toes of the Healer feat.

>>66250227Kek. It was the first thing that came to mind. Also, to each their own, I suppose. I DM in a low magic/low fantasy setting and I figured this could be an alternative to magical healing, which is not to say this couldn't work in a high fantasy setting, just probably not as thematically relevant as a cleric or paladin.

>>66250180I mean... you're saying that teasing gets boring, I'm saying teasing is something you should step in and tell the players to knock the fuck off when it becomes a problem. Also not disagreeing with you, your post was just the closest I could pick to chime in on the conversation.

>>66250303Who should've stopped the issue is a different question, but yeah it's clearly the DM. He should have stopped it when not everyone was enjoying themselves. But this is about who caused the issue, and that's the Elf.

>>66250326>rages>bardic inspiration>channel divinity>wildshapes>second wind/action surge/indomitable>sorc pointsThe system's unified enough as it is. If you don't give classes their own little things then you're just playing _4e_ so why are you even here?

>>66250424i'd love a plant based druidoddly enough they actually lack some plant themed stuff you'd expect them to have, for example there's no conjure plants spell which would give the underused plant creatures more limelight

you can make plants grow and animate them, thats itno conjuring, no charm plant (which oddly enough is a nature cleric thing)

Primeval Guardian was a step in the direction with ranger of all things, but it got scrapped

>>66250469not really, you want to focus on one or the other, that said if you have a 16 spare then 16 dex will benefit you more than a 16 in any of the mental stats unless your heavy into roleplaying a particular aspect, or a samurai who gets wis save prof and refuse to be crowd controlled

>>66249178>>66249225tbf everything GR touches turns to shit, including their own properties. >>66249291GR doesn't understand balance. As in, their other big system, M&M, literally has no balance whatsoever. As such, everything in SCAG is either disgustingly weak, disgustingly strong, or disgustingly ignorant of 5e's design.

>>66250225That's why her romance keeps creeping me out. She doesn't even bothers with trying to resurrect Khalid, she mourns him for 20 seconds, doesn't bother with the burial and decides to move on before we are even out of the tutorial dungeon. Then immediately starts flirting with CHARNAME.

>>66250289>fluff baggage it often gets that ends up limiting itthe only thing limited is your mind, you smelly gaijin>>66250274>>66250326>Monk should have spell slots>Makes the system more unifiedcasterfag seethinganyone who whines about ki either had a cruel DM or is exclusively whiteroomingyou're talking like you're mike mearls

>>66248615There is no grounds for strength-based intimidation.Strength is a situational instance of possibly being able to threaten someone - there are many creatures in D&D that honestly don't give a shit how much you go to the gym.Charisma is an objective measurement of how good you are at scaring shit. A high charisma 8 str guy can threaten, I don't know, their parents, threaten to use horrifying magic, threaten someone at their pressure points.

Strength is something that should be factored into the DC as it will situationally lower the DC (even to as much as 0 for a commoner), not the modifier.

>Just finished a fight>/that guy/ who landed the last hit immidiately asks the DM what the evil guy's chamber looks like>The moment the DM finished describing it he says he opens drawers and the chest he sees>We cant get a chance to talk without having to interrupt either him or the DM >As soon as the dm says he finds loot he takes it>We tell him to share>"No I found it first"

Are there any ways to make looting a bit more organized and force /that guy/ to behave a little?Hes the type that would loot first before healing someone who's incapacitated.

>>66251268And you can't ask to switch if you're still level 3? Either way, best not to dip nor waste two feats because you'll just be slowing down either your class or your stat progression. Unless you rolled good for your stats, then it's whatever.

>>66251304Talk about shit that you hate to either the guy causing it at your table or the DM who has to mediate it. Don't do roundabout shit on behavior, confront and address it. If he refuses to acknowledge the other players, you have no obligation to him.

>>66251304Talk with that guy like an adult. Ask him why his character is even in the party if he doesn't act like a party member.

And tell him that his character can't be at both the drawers and the chest at the same time, and that all the other characters aren't just sitting on their ass while he and the GM are jacking each other off. Tell him that your character already opened the chest while he was digging through the drawers.

>>66251336It's less to do with the subclass features and more to do with the power points you're expected to reach as you level one class. It can really hurt if you're two levels behind on getting Extra Attack, or an ASI, so on. If your stats are good, just run Magic Initiate then War Caster to get what you need by 6th level.

>>66251304This is why you need to have a lawful/lawful good fighter/paladin to assert dominance over the people like that.Talk to him IC, ask what he found and that he should share. Hopefully the rest of the group is pissed at him and will back you up so he will have to either behave or fuck off and the player to make a new character.

>>66251646It doesn't. Like, the only option is Animate Dead and you need to burn a spell slot every day to keep them from eating you. Your only options are skeletons or zombies from that spell. As I mentioned, this system doesn't want you to be doing this.

>>66251580The chamberlain, animals in the garden, the thousandth painting or table or book, permanent unseen servants that are actually invisible stalkers, other members of the family and their guests, the city watch called upon as murderhobos have broken into the manor.

>>66248724Im refluffing every spell i can to be "earth magic" like Shield, to create an my next character. A big bellied bearded man with the gourmet feat, who prior to adventuring served in a tavern kitchen, dumping into strength.

>>66249039A garrote is not a slashing weapon, it's any implement designed to cause asphyxiation by constricting the neck. Cheese/piano wire garrotes could cause lacerations, but were not designed for that purpose. I would suggest making a grapple check (dex/acrobatics), if successful all other grappled rules apply, but the actor can inflict 1d4 (bludgeoning?) damage + str on each turn, and in turn the victim has disadvantage on attack rolls and strength checks.A crit could cause a bleed in addition to the extra d4?

>>66249904That's the thing, it was never said that the elf was getting more than his fair share. All it said was he was repeatedly saying it was the rogue's small dick that was the cause of the problem, exactly as the rogue did when they wanted to fuck the singer.Not to mention this all reads like it happened in one session, so I'd hardly say the joke wore out its welcome more than the rogue took his retaliation about imaginary dick size poorly and went to PvP over it.Of course they'd ideally talk it over in/out of character and move on but we don't know anything past the rogue went to PvP after getting made fun of the same way he made fun of the elf