The 2003 New Jersey Nets were one of the more doomed NBA Finalists in recent memory. A decade later, they look like one of the more interesting teams of their era. How did such a boring team get so retroactively fascinating?

In a deeply felt opinion piece for a free newspaper, the bellowing goofus who leads the J-E-T-S chants at Jets games makes a farewell address to his team and his legions of mostly imaginary fans. Also he's not going away, probably.