Like a dog chasing a car ...

I don't know why I'm doing it or where I'm going. When will it end? Why is it still happening?

Hi. I've been posting here for awhile now. I don't know why but I need to find the answer. It's bugging me, I feel like I'm ready to know now. I know I am.

I feel like I'm going in circles, staying in one place - locked in a wall-less cage. Counting the days to my end - 12 hrs and counting. If I wake up and feel like I do, I will end all this suffering. I'm tired of all these pity vibes people keep sending me. I get it, I need to get a life and get a fucking life. Not as easy as it sounds.

I am a fucking idiot, I can't do anything. I'm like a reluctant sheep, never with a word to say. Hiding behind my own idiocy. I swear I've never seen anyone as naive and simpleminded as me - I must have severe brain damage or something.

I can't even finish school even though I want to - even though i can. I've lost all hope and all sense - of pride, dignity and honor.

I cant take this life anymore, I'll never make it on my own anyway.

I'm so afraid of death ... I'll just end it tomorow - what have I got to lose but nothing?

Why I posted this was to just get the attention of the one I'm searching for. If your out there- you've got 11 hrs ...

"Anyone desperate enough for suicide...should be desperate enough to go to creative extremes to solve problems: elope at midnight, stow away on the boat to New Zealand and start over, do what they always wanted to do but were afraid to try."
-- Richard Bach​

You say your tired of pity vibes, but then make posts constantly asking for them? I'm not trying to put you down or anything buddy, but what I suggest is to stop looking for happiness outside of your own mindset. Materialism is just an illusion to happiness without the right mindset. A constant cycle of grasping at outside objects to "cure" you. Find it in yourself, and start from there. I suggest focusing on the present moment, and everything amazing in it. There really are amazing things in the world that are free.. You just have to open your eyes and step through the shadow.

The secret to being happy is giving back to others out of the fullness of your heart...imo..

In order to do that, you have to find a place in yourself where you want to start working....so that you make the habit of looking outward instead of inward (right now). Then when you get in a better place you can look inside yourself and have a GOOD feeling....not one of hopelessness.

Stop with all the negative self talk...It only brings you down...and you cant work from there. That seems easy to say, but its something that you need to turn around in your mind.

Realize that all you need to do is have some goals...and devote your energy.....all that energy you are devoting to yourself being not good enough...into something worthwhile that feeds you.

You might also want to get checked out for depression...because that has physical effects that will make you feel like shit...for real.

Damn bro just don't fucking do it. Why don't you just move on from that person fuck him/her if they don't want you then you shouldnt want them. And don't think so down on yourself everyone has a shit load of downfalls. It's just a matter of accepting your downfalls and fixing them. If everything fails why not just start a whole new life and it is that fucking easy change your name move to a small town and just live life.
Oh yeah if your listening to depressing music quit that crap.

I could tell you life gets better, and I could tell you the thoughts of uselessness, and the feeling of fear, will go away. I could tell you to just work hard because it will change everything, or I could even tell you that helping others will make your life more fulfilling, hell I could even tell you that therapy will help you, but I won't because none of those things are true, and won't make your life better in the sli-wait, no I was thinking of something else, those things definitely are true and will all make your life better. And if they don't.... just go get a whole bunch of pussy.