d23:When he went into bars to pick up chicks, his pickup line was "I am horny."

And sometimes it actually worked.

csbA former law partner of mine, after his divorce, did that whole middle-aged whoring thing, chasing tail every night he could. He told me that when it got late, bar was going to close soon, he'd just go up to the women in the bar (in order of hotness, most hot to least) and say, "Nice shoes. Wanna fark?" "How did that work out for you?" I asked. "About one out of ten threw her drink in my face, most said no, but I always ended up getting a yes." "Seriously?" "Sure. If they didn't outright say no, I'd follow it up with 'C'mon who are we fooling? I know why you're at bar at this time of night; you know why. Let's just get to it.'"/csb

Seriously, TFA puts in a picture, but they can't come up with a picture of the farking 3-word obituary? Jesus, this "journalism" thing is going downhill faster and faster every day. Hell, they didn't even publish the LONGER one that papers came up with.

Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'."The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If its money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.' "