Dark House (2009) - a young girl has a frightening experience, and years later she's still having nightmares about it. Her psychiatrist of course suggests she return to the house where it took place, and as luck would have it her acting class is offered jobs working at the house, which has now been turned into some amusement park-style house of horrors. And of course an evil spirit soon makes its presence known and starts killing everyone. Intentionally cheesy throughout, with nary a sympathetic character in sight, and plenty of bargain basement CGI. Plot was entirely predictable as well. Meh...it was watchable. 2.5/5.

I Bury the Living (1958) - a guy gets a job working at a cemetery. They've got a map of all the burial plots, with white pushpins indicating plots that have been purchased but aren't yet used, and black pushpins indicating plots in which people are buried. The guy accidentally uses a pair of black pushpins for some plots that have just been purchased, and sure enough those people die that very night. He replaces another white pin with a black one and once again, that person dies as well. He does this 7 or 8 times, telling everyone he knows about it including the police, but everyone is understandable incredulous. I'm like "Well why don't you just quit sticking black pins in the map, you're killing someone every time you do that." But that sort of logic doesn't exist in this movie. The whole plot basically revolves around this "Is it supernatural or just coincidence?" question but seeing as it's a movie, I sort of discounted the coincidence possibility right away. So they spent three-quarters of the movie investigating something I already knew the answer too. Still, it did get sort of exciting towards the climax, until they came off with a big twist ending which made absolutely no sense whatsoever. The characters weren't really the sort of people who drew me into the movie either. I guess I got my 77 minutes worth of vague interest out of it. 2.5/5.

Logged

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Pharaoh's Curse (1957) - a group of archeologists in Egypt discover a tomb and find a mummy inside. As soon as they start cutting the wrappings off, one of their Egyptian workers falls unconscious and soon he's starting to age rapidly. So that guy shambles around and kills somebody every once in a while, while the archeologists explore the tomb a bit more trying to find hidden chambers. I have absolutely no idea what happens at the end of this thing lol. It was very anti-climactic, whatever it was. The characters were decent and the story held my interest moderately well. 2.5/5.

Alien Origin (2012) - a reporter and her cameraman accompany some South American troops on a routine mission. It's not long before they get a radio call to investigate the disappearance of a couple of archeologists, so they go to their camp and find a video there. It shows the archeologists discovering a weird quasi-human skull deep in a cave. So our little band of soldiers and the reporter eventually track down the two missing folks and at the same time happen across some sort of monster who starts attacking them by shooting fireworks rockets at them. We never get to see the thing clearly as it creates some interference with the camera. We get a general idea of its overall shape and at the very end get a quick glimpse of its face. Unfortunately the last half hour of the movie is just people running through the jungle while the troops fire thousands of rounds into the darkness. It gets pretty tiresome - if you spent a half hour frantically running through the woods with a handheld camera, would you want to watch the film afterwards? It's one of those found footage movies, so you can kind of guess what happens in the end. I thought the first two-thirds of this were quite good, it kept me intrigued as to what they were going to encounter and although there's very little actual dialogue, the character were a likable bunch. But watching trees and bushes spin and jerk wildly in front of the camera for the last half hour definitely knocks it down a notch or two. I'll still give it a 3.5/5.

Logged

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

LOVE EXPOSURE (2008): The son of a Catholic priest becomes a master at shooting candid panty photographs, then falls in love with a man-hating schoolgirl and seeks to save her from a cult. This naughty 4-hour comic epic from cult director Shion Sono is a strange and subversive examination of the perversion of purity, and vice versa. 4.5/5.

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"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

The Beaver - This is kind an odd film festival type movie that would be impressive if the director was 23. There's some American Beauty type stuff along the edges and Mel Gibson is kinda miscast as the guy with the Beaver puppet. I'll see pretty much anything with Jodie Foster in it. 3.75/5

Making my way through my Ridley Scott dvd's because I realize I own quite a few of his films which I never get around to watching.

Body Of Lies (2008)-This spy thriller has Leonardo DiCaprio as a CIA Agent in Jordan hunting down terrorists in a post 9/11 world. Complicating things for him are conflicting information he is getting from back home through Russel Crowe and through Jordan intelligence via Mark Strong. Along the lines he gets a crush on an Arabic nurse leading to predictable results. Lots of helicopter shots, like a ton.

This movie has a lot going for it, good acting, great production values and strong directing so why doesn't it work. The answer lies in the script which instead of making the best out of its unique setting instead repeatedly would rather stick with cliches than innovate. As soon as we meet the love interest it couldn't be more obvious that she will be eventually kidnapped and used as bait for Leo. Also I've seen enough movies where spy's in the field romance turns out badly for one lifetime I didn't really need this to restate it. Pretty much crap, the unfairly maligned "Miami Vice" (2006) is a hundred times more engaging and the critics s**t all over that unlike this one which they seemed to be OK with.

Hannibal (2001)

Ok now were talking Ridley! I wont go over the plot to this one, but I enjoyed this much more than Body of Lies. I remember being impressed with this in the theater and it has held up very well on re watch. This movie seems to revel in it's depravity in it's points with subtlety being pretty much off the table. Scott does an admirable job taking in the international locations with great style and the soundtrack by Hans Zimmer is terrific. One of my favorite writers David Mamet did work on this script and their are some truly great lines in here. Hopkin's returns unlike Foster who is replaced by Julianne Moore who I think does a fine job with the role. A fine film worthy of reappraisal especially considering the disappointments of "Red Dragon" (yikes) and "Hannibal Rising" (which is not horrible but is really an unnecessary entry into the series)

American Warships (2012) - The USS Enterprise carrier group is in the waters near North Korea, and every ship gets destroyed by some invisible attacker. The USS Iowa battleship is in the area, so they set out to investigate. This invisible ship is attacking naval bases, airports, everything it can - World War III is just around the corner unless the Iowa crew can save the day! This is silly, cheesy, full of low budget CGI, and I had a great time with it The characters were very likable, the plot was fun, and the Captain said "You're not going to sink my battleship." 4/5.

Arctic Blast (2010) - a hole in the ozone layer lets the cold air from the upper atmosphere fall to the surface, creating a killer freezie storm. It's up to the world's greatest weatherman to save the day. This pretty much puts a check mark next to every bullet point on the SyFy Channel's generic disaster movie plot outline. The weatherman saves his daughter from the storm with mere seconds to spare, then his superiors won't listen to his plan and try their own - it's almost comical as the dramatic music plays and the minutes tick away. Will their plan work? Well it didn't work in the previous 35 movies that used this exact same plot cul-de-sac. Just as our main character's plan is finally about to be put into action he has to run out into the frozen town to get insulin for his dying co-worker, and then the generator cuts out so his computers shut down. And there's the wife who's suing for divorce...maybe the disaster will bring them back together? This could have been saved by likable, well developed characters but these folks are all just going through the motions. 2.5/5.

« Last Edit: November 13, 2012, 08:37:17 AM by Jack »

Logged

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

HOSPITALITE (2010): A family that runs a print shop finds it impossible to say no to an interloper who invites himself, then his wife, then his "extended family" to stay in their cramped house, all the while exposing his hosts' dark secrets. This satire of Japanese politeness and xenophobia is well made but doesn't travel particularly well. 2.5/5.

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

"The Time Traverers"-1964Three scientists are working out the bugs in their time viewing device,using a ton of power. A man is sent to make them shut it down when it turns into a time portal. Naturally they all go through and get chased by post-apocalyptic mutants into a cave where what's left of the "normal" humans live. These folks are making androids and an escape rocket,getting ready to leave for another,liveable planet. The power company guy falls for this woman who puts android eyes into a water bath and plays a drug-inspired organ. In the end they decide to leave the scientists behind to save room and they have to quickly construct another time portal to go home and avoid being destroyed by the surface mutants. The mutants attack,the rocket explodes and the scientists take a few humans back in time with them. They all start aging fast and reset the portal for way farther in the future. They go through and it's a paradise world....then it turns into a big time loop,redoing everything over and over. The music is strangely happy in rather inappropriate moments and the performances are either strained or just plain silly. 3 outta 5.

"The Time Traverers"-1964Three scientists are working out the bugs in their time viewing device,using a ton of power. A man is sent to make them shut it down when it turns into a time portal. Naturally they all go through and get chased by post-apocalyptic mutants into a cave where what's left of the "normal" humans live. These folks are making androids and an escape rocket,getting ready to leave for another,liveable planet. The power company guy falls for this woman who puts android eyes into a water bath and plays a drug-inspired organ. In the end they decide to leave the scientists behind to save room and they have to quickly construct another time portal to go home and avoid being destroyed by the surface mutants. The mutants attack,the rocket explodes and the scientists take a few humans back in time with them. They all start aging fast and reset the portal for way farther in the future. They go through and it's a paradise world....then it turns into a big time loop,redoing everything over and over. The music is strangely happy in rather inappropriate moments and the performances are either strained or just plain silly. 3 outta 5.

Hey, it DID have Forrest J Ackerman....

« Last Edit: November 13, 2012, 02:54:50 PM by alandhopewell »

Logged

If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

The choice is simple; refuse to create, and refuse to grow, or build, with care and love.

Warrior of the Lost World (1985) - in a low budget post-apocalyptic world, a guy on a talking motorcycle (it sounds like a 9 year old Valley Girl through a voice synthesizer) helps some woman rescue her dad from the evil government. Which is run by Donald Pleasence oddly enough. So they rescue the dad but the girl gets captured. No prob', the guy and the dad recruit a few more people to overthrow the government. The "overthrowing" part basically consists of two trucks driving side-by-side down the road for about 15 minutes while the occupants of each shoot at each other. At one point the bad guys have a huge dump truck they use to block the road. The guy asks his talking motorcycle what it will take to destroy it, and it says "44 megatons 44 megatons 44 megatons" The whole movie's just moronic. I fell asleep at one point but it's not the kind of thing where it's possible to actually miss something. 2/5.

Hangar 18 (1980) - the space shuttle is launching a satellite, but they launch it straight into a UFO which kills one of the astronauts and causes the UFO to make an emergency landing on earth. The government wants to keep the whole thing secret, so they blame the astronaut's death on the two other astronauts, who spend the rest of the movie trying to get to the bottom of the whole UFO thing and clear their names. Meanwhile a group of researchers has retrieved the UFO and are busy studying it. It's kind of a cool UFO I guess, I found it rather interesting. Plenty of well known '70s names in this thing: Gary Collins, Robert Vaughn and Darren McGavin among others. If I would have seen this as a kid in 1980 I'm sure I would have thought it was the greatest thing ever; nowadays it's just kind of average though. 3/5.

Logged

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Stallone's fourth go-round as the unstoppable killing machine finds a retired Rambo living the quiet life in Thailand, till he agrees to escort a group of missionaries into war-torn Burma. Of course, the innocents quickly get captured by the brutal Burmese military, and John-Boy has to mount a rescue mission.Much more gritty and brutal than the prior entries in the series, this is a more realistic (if that's the right word) "Rambo," with less emphasis on rah-rah flag waving and plenty of down 'n' dirty flesh-n-blood flyin' in all directions. Gore hounds and action freaks alike should dig this one.

Freaked- Oh my Glob, it has been too many years, for I love it now more than I did when I was 10 years old.

An a-hole ex-child star and his buddy go to a third world country in order to promote a highly toxic crop fertilizer. When they get there, they meet an absent minded protester girl who drags them to a freakshow in the middle of no where. It doesn't take long for them to be captured by the mad scientist who runs it and get turned into freaks themselves. From then on all chaos breaks loose, people die, and the freaks become friends, and you know if you've seen it. It is one of the best cult films of the 90's with creature effects by Screaming Mad George (The Predator, The Guyver) and some other talented individuals I can't remember off the top of my head. WATCH IT! 10/10

Also, in case you haven't seen it, Mr. KYGOTC's avatar is the main character in the movie.

Warrior of the Lost World (1985) - in a low budget post-apocalyptic world, a guy on a talking motorcycle (it sounds like a 9 year old Valley Girl through a voice synthesizer) helps some woman rescue her dad from the evil government. Which is run by Donald Pleasence oddly enough. So they rescue the dad but the girl gets captured. No prob', the guy and the dad recruit a few more people to overthrow the government. The "overthrowing" part basically consists of two trucks driving side-by-side down the road for about 15 minutes while the occupants of each shoot at each other. At one point the bad guys have a huge dump truck they use to block the road. The guy asks his talking motorcycle what it will take to destroy it, and it says "44 megatons 44 megatons 44 megatons" The whole movie's just moronic. I fell asleep at one point but it's not the kind of thing where it's possible to actually miss something. 2/5.

Hangar 18 (1980) - the space shuttle is launching a satellite, but they launch it straight into a UFO which kills one of the astronauts and causes the UFO to make an emergency landing on earth. The government wants to keep the whole thing secret, so they blame the astronaut's death on the two other astronauts, who spend the rest of the movie trying to get to the bottom of the whole UFO thing and clear their names. Meanwhile a group of researchers has retrieved the UFO and are busy studying it. It's kind of a cool UFO I guess, I found it rather interesting. Plenty of well known '70s names in this thing: Gary Collins, Robert Vaughn and Darren McGavin among others. If I would have seen this as a kid in 1980 I'm sure I would have thought it was the greatest thing ever; nowadays it's just kind of average though. 3/5.

WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD- I caught that at 3am on Channel 19 one early Saturday morning, that annoying talking motorcycle was the main thing I remembered.

HANGER 18- I almost paid good money to see that.

Logged

If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

The choice is simple; refuse to create, and refuse to grow, or build, with care and love.