Austin, TX (Dec. 13)--Attorneys for President-Elect George W. Bush filedsuit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making hislist and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunctionagainst the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban histraditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls oneadditional time before packing his sleigh.

The suit filed in Federal District Court in Austin, asks a federal judge to"hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicativelist-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted withoutamendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification."

There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It'stotally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check?This checking, checking and re-checking over and over again must stop now,"said former Secretary James Baker.

Baker further claimed that unnamed GOP observers witnessed an elf remove allboys named Justin from the 'nice' list, filing them under 'naughty' insteadbecause "everyone knows all boys named Justin are brats." Bush cited thepotential for unauthorized list tampering, blasted what he called the"crazy, crazy mess up there at the North Pole." "Their security is reallyawful, really bad," said Bush. "My mother just walked right in, told 'em shewas Mrs. Claus. They didn't check her ID or nothing."

Meanwhile, Dick Cheney issued a direct plea to St. Nick himself. "Mr. Claus,I call on you to do the honorable thing, and quit checking your list. Thechildren of the world have had enough. They demand closure now," Cheneysaid, adding that his granddaughter has already selected a name for the ponyshe's asked for.

The Rev. Jesse Jackson was quick to respond to the latest development withplans to lead his protesters from Florida to the North Pole via dogsled. The"Rainbow Mush for Justice" is scheduled to leave Friday. "We need red suitsand sleighs, not law suits and delays," Jackson said.

Santa Claus could not be reached for comment, but a spokeself said he was"deeply distressed" by news of the pending legal action against him. "He'slosing weight, and he hasn't said 'Ho Ho Ho' for days," said the spokeself.Experts feel that future Christmas celebrations could be placed in jeopardy.Santa is apparantly not qualified for any other job, and no one is sure whathe might do if he loses this battle.