This is our journey with our daughter Shannon through treatment for, and ultimately death from, a brainstem glioma tumor. We continue to write about our lives after Shannon's passing as we try to carry on her spirit. We are writing from the heart - parental discretion advised.

Thursday December 10, 2015

The weather doesn't indicate it, but the Christmas holiday is just two weeks away. Unseasonably warm temps had people playing golf this week here! That's a good day if you can golf in December in MN...

Yes, the holidays are approaching and I find that I can't remember the details of the past three years, but I can remember every detail of that December four years ago when we went to St. Jude with Shannon. These days were the worst - even worse than the day she died. Seeing her decline, hearing her say she didn't want to live like that - those are the December memories that I can't forget. Not that I want to...

I went to a girls hockey game this week, watching Shannon's Mayo Spartans play their crosstown rivals the JM/Lourdes team. Dan was on the road and Erin didn't want to go, so I went by myself. But, I knew I wouldn't be alone...

Shannon had dear friends on both teams, and so do I. I got to reconnect with my hockey mom friends and sit in the stands and watch the girls play... same as it ever was, except not quite...

These women also remember that December four years ago. Shannon skated with her Rebels team on December 3, 2011 and left the next day. She never skated again... I was glad to see these ladies this week. They were happy to let me talk about Shannon and it was comforting to know that they, too, try to imagine Shannon now... in our minds, she is the little spitfire 13-year-old who sang at the top of her lungs in the locker room.

The holidays are a season of reflection. I feel like I do plenty of that, but it's especially poignant at this time of year. We have been receiving some wonderful donations to the Shannon O'Hara Foundation and sometimes those donations come with a note, a memory, or just a thank you. We are humbled and honored that people support Shannon's memory in this way.

I stopped to pick up our dry-cleaning the other day, and the women working there said, "I don't know how to say this, but I read your book." She loved the book and she said "you had an amazing daughter." she apologized for bringing it up, but I told her, "I'm always glad to hear Shannon's name."

If you know someone who has lost someone - and we all do - don't be afraid. If it's too raw, they will let you know. But, more often than not, as we gather with family and friends during this season, what we want is to talk about our loved ones we've lost, so hear and say their name...

"Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality." - Emily Dickinson