Category Archives: Funny

It’s 6:25 PM, and I’m sitting in a hospital bed, slightly cold but very happy that I have my “phablet” with me to help pass the time.

I’ve been feeling like general crappola the last couple of weeks, and then today I felt so incredibly sick that I had to leave work and come straight here for a barrage of tests. I’d post a pic of my IV, but I wouldn’t want to chase away my squeamish readers.

Getting back to the socks…

As I sit here, I can’t help but think, “So this is why my mom always told me to wear matching socks and to never leave the house without underwear.” At least I got the latter part right. Plus, the socks are at least in the same color family (See Photo Above) A yin and yang if you will.

Lesson learned.

In related news, I should probably tie my humor and boredom into something tech related. So how’s this for you…

You will not gain any sort of substantial knowledge from continuing to read this. I repeat, you will not learn anything. In fact, you may actually find that you just wasted about 30 seconds of your life. If you’re ok with this then read on, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

So, after reading the title of this post, you can probably guess it doesn’t take much to amuse me. Let’s say, if I had just discovered the secret to world peace in one hand and a teeny tiny turquoise paperclip strewn with coral-colored polka dots in the other, I’d probably think to myself, “How in the world did they get those tiny polka dots on there!? That’s so cool!” Yup, the little thing will win nearly every time. That being said…

Once you are on the “About Phone” screen tap 3 times on “Android Version.” A screen will pop displaying the image of your device’s Android dessert-themed OS.

Can you guess mine?

You would think that once figuring this out, I’d do it once, maaaaybe twice and then stop. We can pretend this is how it went down and call it a day. How awesomely cute is this!?! I mean who randomly goes through their phone screens tapping things multiple times to see what happens? ::Raises Hand:: This girl. Actually, I have a pretty good explanation, because I was trying to help someone who posted a developer options menu question on here, and this kinda just happened. I’m not gonna lie, I was ecstatic when it did though.

I can’t help but wonder, does this occur on other manufacturer’s devices (HTC, Motorola, etc)? I’d be curious to know. Please comment below if you are equally as intrigued by the “little things” and don’t mind wasting a micronic* moment of your existence. Thanks!

First thing’s first…if my phone addressed me in the way depicted in the picture above, I would let it talk to me as much as it wanted to. However, this is probably not the case. My guess is that you are here, because you are probably being driven nuts trying to find a way to stop that little bugger from telling you every time you have “ONE NEW EMAIL!”

The first time I experienced this was after a rather loooooooooong night in AC. Long story short, my phone found its way into one of the many of Harrah’s porcelain thrones that evening. Don’t judge me. Seriously, you think you are annoyed now! Try having your phone talk to you non-stop after one too many Jager Bombs. Now multiply that by 50, add in a nominal amount sleep, and while you’re at it let’s have an easter egg hunt for Advil LiquiGels when you can hardly think straight.

::FLASHBACK:: Ahhhh the room is spinning! One foot on the floor. You can do this. You’re not a rookie. Hmmm…I’ll just deal with the mindless annoyance for now. Yup, this is how it happened. No shame folks.

Fast forward 1 hour and 45 minutes later…

STOP!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! PLEASE!! MY HEAD IS THROBBING! WHERE AM I? WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT? WHY IS MY PHONE TALKING TO ME? WHY ARE MY LIQUID INDICATORS RED? OOOOooooo That’s why. I remember now. Well, I hope I used hand sanitizer.

Well, at first I thought my phone’s new found speech capabilities were just a side effect of the water damage. Not so. That little guy held up like a submarine. You can imagine my relief when I realized it was just a setting that I turned on accidentally in my drunken stupor.

So, your phone is talking to you because:

You have DRIVING MODE turned ON OR 2. You have TALKBACKENABLED

In the event that DRIVING MODE is on, you will need to swipe your notification bar down and scroll from right to left to find driving mode. Make sure it is not highlighted in green. See photos below.

BAD

GOOD

If TALKBACK (for the visually impaired) is enabled, you will have to go to SETTINGS > ACCESSIBILITY > TALKBACK > OFF

and…SILENCE! FINALLY! Just think, you didn’t even have to deal with this in a drunken and/or hungover state. Doesn’t that make you feel so much better?

Now if only I could get back all of my dignity and self respect that I lost that night. Who am I kidding?! As I sit here typing this, I’m looking up comp rooms at Borgata for this Memorial Day weekend. Oh, and by the way, I did eventually find some Advil. = )

I found this photo online on xkcd.com and absolutely had to share it! Yep, this pretty much sums up the majority of my day…

So umm yea…sometimes when us “experts” look like we are busy at work solving your CATASTROPHIC technical problems we are either:

Surfing the web

Placing last minute bids on ebay

Following this flow chart, which includes both pressing random buttons until we figure out a smart sounding way to explain whats “wrong” with your device, whilst hoping that you will not question it and/or googling how to fix it, thus resulting in us looking like the “experts” that we “are”.