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Monday, June 13, 2016

Let It Begin with Me...and You

When I was 16 years old my parents planned a surprise
birthday party for me. They invited a group of my friends to Planet Hollywood
in Washington, DC. The day of my party also happened to be the day of the
annual Capital PRIDE celebration. In order to get me to Planet Hollywood my Dad
and brother framed it as “let’s just go check out DC for the day.” We headed
into DC and started walking towards Planet Hollywood with the plan that my
brother would just casually suggest eating there for lunch. In order to get
there we walked smack dab through the middle of the PRIDE parade. At one point
we were practically in the parade. I remember watching my Dad’s face to see his
reaction. I remember the smirk on my older brother’s face as he smiled about
the surprise that awaited me and probably imagined my mom walking through the
same parade a few minutes prior with a group of my good friends, some of whom
she didn’t know that well. I remember smiling in awe as I took in the bright
colors, open expressions of love, and colorful personalities that surrounded
me. It was a joyous event and one I have not and never will forget. We
eventually arrived at Planet Hollywood and I was indeed surprised. But whenever
I retell the story of my 16th birthday party Planet Hollywood doesn’t
even get mentioned. I like to tell it as
“Mom and Dad planned a surprise party for me at the Capital PRIDE Parade. It
was AWESOME!”

And awesome it was. This was my first true experience of
LGBT culture and I don’t remember much except the immense feeling of joy and
warmth that came from being a part of that parade. My Dad, brother, and I must
have stuck out like a sore thumb walking through; But not for a second did I
feel out of place or uncomfortable, because everyone there stuck out for their
own unique style, beauty, outfits, hair, costumes, love, energy, and
excitement. It was a wonderful feeling.

A number of years prior, when I was about 10 I remember
standing in the kitchen of my grandmother’s house when I overheard a
conversation in which I learned that my beloved cousin Paul, was gay. At the
time I had recently heard in the news about there being a greater number of
people who were gay who were contracting the AIDS virus. So, my first thought
was one of worry. I just wanted my cousin, whom I loved dearly to be ok. Once I
talked to my mom and learned that he was completely fine, then so was I. I
loved him, and who he loved didn’t matter at all to me, or to my parents.

A number of years after that I remember meeting my cousin’s
boyfriend (also named Paul!) for the first time at their apartment in Greenwich
Village. I was there with my boyfriend, and the four of us went to lunch at a
local restaurant. Paul and Paul had been dating for some years at that point
but this was the first time I had the chance to see them together as a couple.
I remember being struck by the tender and sincere love and affection that they
shared and still do.

Since that time, through college and work I have been fortunate
to call many men and women who are gay or lesbian, my friends. And from each
and every one of them I have never felt anything in return except love,
acceptance, and friendship.

Why do I write all this? It is to tell the Orlando shooter
(who I will not even name) that he messed with the wrong group. Mr. Shooter,
your heart may have been filled with hatred. And your goal was to spread that
evil far and wide. You likely sought to silence and scare a group of people you
rejected as “other.” But we will not be silenced. We will not be brought to our
knees in fear. We will rise up. We will spread love. We will reject hate. And
we will make this world a stronger and better place in light of the evil act
you committed.

Yes, I say we. For the attack may have been directly against
the LGBT community, but all of us who are their allies and friends will stand
with them to spread the love further. We will recall the kindness, joy,
acceptance and openness that we feel when surrounded by the LGBT community and
we will seek to take the lessons they teach and preach so well, and we will
raise better children; we will be better people; we will love more and hate
less.

The same cousin I mentioned above currently lives in
Florida. He posted a video this morning from a memorial service he attended
last night in St. Petersburg. In the video everyone was singing “Let There Be
Peace on Earth.” I cannot think of a better way to honor the 49 men and women
who died in the wake of such evil. Their deaths will not be in vain. For each
of those brave brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, husbands and wives, I say:

“Let peace begin with
me
Let this be the moment now.
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow.
To take each moment
And live each moment
With peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth,
And let it begin with me.”