Trigger warning:

This site may, in fact always will contain images and information likely to cause consternation, conniptions, distress, along with moderate to severe bedwetting among statists, wimps, wusses, politicians, lefties, green fascists, and creatures of the state who can't bear the thought of anything that disagrees with their jaded view of the world.

Jun 1, 2008

(Editorial note; From the size of the tree, I would place its age at about ten years. This indicates that the program has been going for some time, and from the appearence of the background I would place it somewhere in Central Queensland)

This comes from Ron Kitching who I posted a couple down from this one. Ron is usually pretty reliable in the area of scientific information but on this occasion he has chosen to introduce it with:

Jim, Have you seen this story before? Sometimes we indulge in a little comic relief. (It is therefore conceivable that there may be some minor factual inaccuracies in this story.)

EXPLANATORY NOTE TO THE ORGANIC URANIUM STORY.

The so-called Nuclear Debate is again raging in Australia. A recent news poll conducted by SBS revealed that 47% of Australian's are for nuclear power and 40% against. The same poll revealed that 60% of men are in favor but only 35% of women.

The story below was inspired by Today Show Tracy Grimshaw's addled attitude in her interview with former Prime Minister Bob Hawke who has announced that he is in favor of Australia having Nuclear Power and storing unwanted nuclear waste from the world.

The beautiful Tracy, a normally well balanced and sensible woman went curiously and uncharacteristically feather headed when her interview with Hawke was being conducted. And this story popped out.

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL. TOP SECRET.

Viv Forbes and his wife Judy pretend to run a sheep and cattle farm up at Rosevale, but it is actually a highly secret Organic Uranium farm.

And Dr. Graham Miller and his wife Liz have sold their farm and pretend to be retired. But Graham, one of Australia's most successful uranium explorers in the past, is leading a great team of scientists establishing suitable farms for large scale production in the Kimberleys and Pilbara. It is expected that production there will finally replace iron ore as a great wealth producer.

Secret Leaks From CSIRO Uranium Development.

New Clean Organic Uranium.

Friday September 30, 2005

From Exploration and Mining Reporter Harry Diculus.

THE Australian scientific community is in a state of shock after their most secret development of high grade organic uranium has been leaked.

According to an E-mail sent from an unidentifiable source, the CSIRO has discovered and enhanced the highly radio active uranium producing seeds of the sterlini radious activus tree, from the Yandicoogina-Weeli Wolli Creek district in the North West of Western Australia

The seeds were discovered to be radio active quite accidentally when a CSIRO scientist was experimenting trying to discover the source of radio activity in the remote North West Australian area in the Kimberleys.

The upshot of twenty years of highly secret work in plant breeding, is that seeds can now be produced that can directly feed the new modern pebble-bed reactors. The round, black, highly radio active seeds are completely consumed in the process and there is absolutely no radio active waste. More important still, is that the modified trees can relatively quickly absorb waste radiation from used uranium products thereby solving the problem of storing material whether it be of low or high radio activity.

Dr. Ivor Plahn who heads the project is reported to have stated, "Just place the radio active material beneath a stand of these small trees and in five years they absorb all of the radio activity and the material is completely cleaned up. It's revolutionary. In the meantime, the trees produce seeds of reactor quality that are safe to handle.

Dr. Plahn reported, "Put simply, one of the micro categorizing benchmarks of our operation which included total quantitative and qualitative holistic calculation reveals that the team mission committee has developed the project to the stage that stake holder business project tenders can now be called for collaborative allocation.

"Global infrastructure models have been developed for a competitive culture. Tactical leadership advice is available for corporations or others seeking cyclical reinvention classification in order to become eligible for a historic balanced output. An alphanumeric distribution output will be monitored by the Federal government.

"A secret agent, geologist, uranium expert and planter, Mr. Graham Miller is at present assessing suitable sites in the North West of WA for large scale plantation areas. A dry climate for most of the year is essential for successful production of commercial high grade uranium seeds."

Mr. Viv Forbes, a Rosevale sheep farmer has lodged an application with the statement that he lives in the driest climate in Australia. He is stated to have claimed, "If drought has anything to do with it, we'll produce a very high quality product here - I can guarantee it. Even the sheep shit will be radio active here."

Australia's very dark green advocate Senator Bob Brown openly sobbed on ABC T/V stating that it was the most immoral development the world has ever experienced. "I don't care whether its organic or not, Australia will become the pariah of the world community," he is reported to have wailed.

Upbeat former Prime Minister Mr. Bob Hawke is triumphant insofar as he has been talking privately to aboriginal communities and is confident of their co-operation. He confided, "Actually I have been secretly working on this ever since I left politics."

Current P.M., Mr. Howard assured voters that more tax cuts will in time arrive once export commenced in a big way. "While it may be necessary to raise the GST, by the turn of the next century, we will have taxes down to 30% flat." Mr. Beasley has countered that it is ridiculous to be so mean with the working class. "The Labor Party will abolish taxes for unionists, and, for everybody else, reduce taxes to 29% by 2050", he thundered.

Treasurer Costello droned, "Here again we have the Labor Party making ridiculous unsustainable promises."

Popular Today Show personality Tracy Grimshaw is reported to have wailed, "This uranium business is going to scare the pants off me". A viewer poll indicates that viewers are more anxious to see this outcome than the Rugby League grand final. Channel nine ratings are at an all time high. Bob Hawke says that he wants to return for another interview with Tracy for this event.