Search Results: Wife

Name: Frasier
Gender:
Age: 63
Location: Southern Calif
I’ve been a widower for 9 years now. But before she died it was always my fantasy to see her suck another guy’s cock. Since she’s passed away I’ve had this fantasy of me sucking another guy’s cock. This never crossed my mind before she died. Can you help me understand this?

Hmmm, Frasier, let me see if I got this straight. You’ve been a widower for 9 years. However, while your wife was still living you had a fantasy of watching her suck another guy’s cock. Ok, not a particularly odd fetish that. But I am unclear about one thing. Did this wife sucking other guy’s cock actually happen, or not? Not that this is particularly important, just wondering. So, now 9 years later you say you suddenly have the urge to smoke some pole yourself, even though you’ve never thought of doing this before. Is this correct?

Ahhh even if I understand you correctly, I don’t get the question. Wait, maybe there is no question? Maybe you’re just curious about why a 63 year old confirmed, dyed in the wool straight heterosexual guy like you suddenly realizes he want to suck himself some cock. I can see how you might find this little discovery a bit disconcerting, but it’s certainly not unprecedented. I guess you’re being startled out of our sexual complacency, huh? Not to worry, it may simply be situational. You are probably worried that this makes you queer, right? I think we can safely say that your curious new interest means no such thing.

Let’s just say for the sake of argument that you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other dude’s johnson. Ok, then what? Well, basically nothing. If you find, after this little adventure, that you don’t much like sucking cock and that you’re really still into pussy. No harm done. You experimented a little and you now have more information about yourself then you did before the experimental blowjob. You may simply discover that you only like having your female partners do the cock sucking while you do the watching. Like I said, a relatively harmless and unremarkable fetish.

But, what if you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you actually take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other guy’s johnson and you really like it. Well that’s a horse of different color, isn’t it? Then you’ll have to come to grips with the realization that despite you long history of straight heterosexualism, you might be, at this point in your life, kinda bisexual. How fun for you!

There is of course another explanation. Some exclusively straight heterosexual guys suck dick not because it’s a turn on…the dick sucking that is. They do it to be submissive. Alrighty, whatever turns one’s crank!

I think we can safely say that for the most part, humans are not sexual automatons. Given a more permissive and sex-positive culture then our own, we’d all be more fluid in our eroticism and sexual expression. It’s true; you are in unfamiliar waters, sexually speaking. But it’s just a little adventure, not the end of the world. I hope you give yourself permission to experiment a bit.

Ya know, you could hook up with a male escort or see an erotic masseur for a little taste. In fact, I’d tell the provider what you just told me. Let him know you’re looking to experiment a little, but you’re unsure how to begin. I’ll bet the provider will be very helpful. Write back sometime, I’d love to know how it goes for you.

Nope, I don’t Joey. Despite the prevalence of this dastardly drug, there is nothing fun about tina…crystal meth for those unfamiliar with the term “tina”. If you love doing tina for whatever reason, I’d wager you’re hooked on that shit.

Listen, I’m not prude when it comes to using some drugs recreationally. But I think that we’d do well to stick to those drugs that are more natural. The less processing involved (and meth is the worst in that regard) and fewer added chemicals (OMG, the crap they put in crystal) the better, in my humble opinion.

Despite the admitted high ya get, recent research shows that long-term meth use destroys nerve cells in the brain that regulate dopamine, muscle movement, memory, and decision-making. This damage can be wide-spread and permanent.

Your body reacts to crystal meth the same way it reacts to danger. Crystal floods the body with adrenaline — the same hormone that prepares us for emergencies. Adrenaline gives a super-charge of strength and endurance so the body can deal with danger and injury. But artificially triggering this response over and over again will have serious consequences.

When you use crystal, your nervous system shifts into high gear. The brain floods your body with “danger” messages. Your body responds immediately to what it thinks is a threat. It prepares to fight or to run away. Common body responses to perceived danger include:

Pupils dilate to let in more light.

Hair stands on end (“getting goose bumps”).

Blood vessels just under the skin constrict.

Body temperature goes up

Regular, long-term crystal use will diminish sores of neurotransmitters. Episodes of paranoia and anxiety become more frequent and longer lasting. Blocked blood vessels within the brain can lead to increased chances of stroke.

Crystal fucks with your dopamine levels. Dopamine delivers a sense of reward and pleasure. It is also associated with body movement. Too little dopamine causes paralysis or a Parkinson’s-like tremors and rigidity. Too much dopamine and a person can become paranoid, hear voices and get twisted thoughts. Sound familiar?

Crystal fucks with your serotonin levels. Serotonin is involved in regulating sleep and sensory perception. It plays a role in moods and regulating body temperature. Serotonin is involved with many emotional disorders like schizophrenia, phobias, super-aggressive states and obsessive-compulsive behavior. Too much serotonin can make it difficult (or impossible) to have an orgasm. And of course there’s the dreaded “crystal dick”…the inability to get it up.

Joey, listen up! You’re way too young with too much of your life ahead of you to self-inflict so much serious irreparable damage on yourself. If this weren’t such a troublesome drug, there wouldn’t be such a virulent anti and reformed tweeker community out there. Want to know the real truth about “tina” check in at: crystalmeth.org. You’ll be glad you did.

Name: Shelly
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: Raleigh, NC
My boyfriend and I are 20. We’ve been together for almost two years and we’re in love. But we have a problem. I’m pro-choice and he isn’t. He says he won’t have sex with me unless I agree to have the kid if I get pregnant. I told him there’s no way I can agree to that. It’s my choice because it’s my body. But then he says it’s his choice to stop having sex with me because he disagrees with my views. Where do I go from here? I’m not ready to start a family; we’re not even married.

Ya know, Shelly, if men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

Where do you go from here? Simply put? Hit the road; or better yet, tell him to. This dude who you say you love and loves you back is actually trying to control you with his dick. That’s never a good thing. It would also set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your relationship. Because if he gets his way on this one; mark my words, he’ll try the same dickhead ploy over and over again. I realize you don’t have much of a frame of reference about these things, being as young as you are. But healthy adult relationships don’t come with sexual ultimatums. EVER.

There is of course a way to have your cake and eat it too. You can enjoy a full and rich sex life and avoid unplanned pregnancies all at the same time. Let me introduce you kids to a little concept we call contraception.

WTF, you’re both 20 years old, you should have a handle on elementary notion already. Where have you been all your life? Both of you should be well versed in several methods of contraception. And you both should practice at least one foolproof method. If you are too immature to put this together, I can assure you you’re way to immature to commence fucking. Get it?

Here’s the deal. I’m not a big fan of abortion either, especially when it’s used as the primary means of avoiding a pregnancy. And since there’s a very safe and easy way to avoid this unfortunate moral dilemma, you guys would be fools not to take advantage of it. But wait! What if the BF is opposed to contraception? It sure sounds to me like he might. Well then you really are shit out of luck. No fucking for you till you’re married. No, till you are absolutely ready to conceive, even if that’s well after you’re married. Because you know you’re gonna get knocked up the very first time you let him near your pussy.

Mutual masturbation works an alternative to full on fucking. But probably there’s some prohibition against that in his world too, huh? So you see why I said at the beginning that your best option is to hit the road, or tell him to.

Holy mackerel! It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1 or 2 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25 and 26. You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has our review apparatus workin’ overtime. We want to get as many reviews out there before the end of the year. Because we certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as it were. This week, we have yet another hot juicy load of swell holiday gift giving ideas for you. And guess what? They are all GREEN.

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25

Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23

Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25, 26

Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24

Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24

First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art. They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost. Can you stand it? They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.

Joy: “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages. I’ve admired them online and even held a few in my hands at our local sex emporium. But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”Dixie: “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance. And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”Joy: “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation. But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges. I love my dildos ridged!”Dixie: “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too. And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming. It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”Joy: “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way. And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes. We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”

Hank: “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”Glenn: “I just love that name! ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”Hank: “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”Glenn: “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”Hank: “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning, do we? Good!”Glenn: “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”Hank: “Oh, ok! It’s made of American Cherry wood.”Glenn: “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”Hank: “You are such a dork!”Glenn: “You love it!”Hank: “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded. Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped. There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”Glenn: “Mmmm, in and out!”Hank: “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”Glenn: “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say? And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven. And this thing warms to my body very fast. It’s like totally awesome.”

I, Dr Dick, have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to Lubricant Pure. I am so fond of this mighty-mite of a company from right here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. What a joy it is to bring their products to your attention.

Ya’ll know my passion for GREEN adult products, right? Hathor Aphrodisia is a boutique company that brings us only a few choice products, but each one is a work of love.

Lubricant Pure is an exceptionally fine personal lube. It contains pure botanical emollients including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng, which are supposed to have aphrodisiacal properties. Can’t honestly say I noticed any difference in my sexual response cycle. But as my granny used to say, ‘It couldn’t hurt!’”

Gina: “I’ve never been one for flavored lubes. The whole concept seems silly to me. But I also don’t like the taste of regular lubes. They taste funny. Basically, I just avoid, as much as possible, coming in oral contact with any lube. So when we were asked to review Lubricant Lickeurs I said to myself, ‘Oh ick!”Kevin: “I was of the same mind as Gina. I mean, how juvenile? By the way, I love the natural taste of Gina’s pussy, like fresh out of her panties. I suppose it helps that she vegan. Her juices are naturally sweet and I can eat her all day long.”Gina: “He sure is talented in the department, I must say. There was a time that I was uncomfortable with him doing oral on me, but now I love it. It helps that it isn’t a chore for him. It’s taken me probably as long to warm to the idea of giving oral to Kevin too. But now I’m such a bad girl that I don’t even give it a second thought.”Kevin: “Actually, she’s a natural-born cocksucker. She just needed to liberate herself from all the Catholic school repression.”Gina: “But enough about us; back to the Lubricant Lickeurs. Neither one of us wanted to disappoint the good Dr, so we agreed to try it.”Kevin: “And damn if we both don’t absolutely love this stuff.”Gina: “Yeah, so much for our natural prejudices, huh? But I must say, Lubricant Lickeurs is a grown-ups version of flavored lubes.”Kevin: “It’s like Hathor Aphrodisia didn’t simply make a lube and then try to flavor it as an afterthought with some artificial flavoring.”

To continue this week’s GREEN, and I might add YUMMY, theme we veer toward the food end of the spectrum. Jack & Karen introduce us to the delicious, yet oh so helpful, teas from the good people at Intimate Teas.

Karen: “This is so cool. I’m a big tea drinker. Never been one for coffee, but I do know my teas. And since I’m a naturally hyper kinda gal, I try to avoid caffeine as much as possible. These teas are delicious and they are herbal.”Jack: “I, on the other hand, am not a big tea drinker, but I agree; these teas are good. There’s an earthiness to them that I really liked.Karen: “First up today is My Maple Cookie. I love it; what a name. This tea is a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like maple cookies. How fun is that?”Jack: “Who would have guessed something like this was even possible. I have to admit, it’s the damnedest thing. Karen and I shared the tin of 12 tea bags over a 10 day period. We both noticed a difference in the way we smelled and tasted. Don’t get me wrong; I love the natural taste of she and me, but this is way fun.”

Jack: “Next up we have Screaming O tea. The Intimate Teas people get high marks for the clever names and the packaging.”Karen: “They sure enough do! This tea is a premium blend of unique herbs made to increase sexual passion in both women and men. It is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, sexual stimulant and it’s supposed to intensify orgasms.”Jack: “That’s what it says on the website. I was dubious…at first. I figured, I already have intense orgasms, do I really need to improve on that…even if it’s possible?”Karen: “Things are much different for us gals, but I think you know that already. I felt like the tea really did stimulate me. And maybe it was only wishful thinking, but I felt my orgasms intensified too.”Jack: “Again, I defer to my lovely wife. One thing for sure; this tea is a stimulant. The first time I had this tea was near bedtime. I thought, a nice cup of warm tea will make me sleep like a baby. NOT! I tossed and turned all night long. But I did have a raging boner in the morning. I don’t know if those two thing are connected, but they did follow one after the other.”

Name: Eddie
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Sacramento
I have a pretty big dick, almost 9 inches and if I try I can bend myself till the tip is just touching my lips and then I can shoot right in my mouth. But I want to get more of my cock in my mouth because I think it’s hot. Are there any exercises I can do to help me do this? Thanks.

You go, dude! Autofellatio, or self-sucking is every man’s dream. Of course, if all of us men folk could blow ourselves, there would be no good reason for us to ever leave our house.

What we have here, sex fans, is a guy who can orally masturbate himself. According to the Kinsey Reports less than 1% of males can lick or suck their own cock. Obviously, suckin’ is more difficult than lickin’, because the guy’s gotta fold himself over a whole lot more to get more of his unit in his mouth. But it is doable for the lucky few.

Did you know that there is archaeological evidence for self-administered blowjobs in Egyptian hieroglyphs? That’s right, sex fans! According to researcher David Lorton, “Many ancient texts refer to autofellatio within the religious mythology of Egypt. The sun god Ra is said to have created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by sucking himself off, then spitting out his spunk into the ground.” Yeah baby, give me that old time religion!

Successful self-sucking depends on two things, Eddie — having a big enough dick and being limber as all get-out so you can pretty much bend in half. Every guy can do something about his flexibility, but none of us can grow our dick longer. That’s why this behavior remains fantasy material for the vast majority of us wee willies.

If you want to suck your own cock it’s a good idea to begin by expanding your range of motion; ya know, working on becoming more limber. Concentrate on stretching exercises that will help improve the flexibility in your legs, glutes, lower back, upper back and neck. If you’re not doin Yoga, pup, now’s a good time to start.

Begin by stretching out your legs. Your quads and hamstrings need to be nice and limber. While lying flat on the floor, with your legs fully extended. Lift each leg in succession. Take hold of your calf or thigh and pull your bent leg toward your chest. Hold this for 15 seconds, breathe deeply and release. Repeat five more times. Once you’re able to do one leg at a time, work on doing both legs at once. Be careful not to over stretch, you don’t want to pull a muscle.

Next stretch your back and neck. While lying flat on the floor, clasp your fingers together place them behind your head and slowly roll yourself up while your hold your chin to your chest. This will be exactly like doing a crunch, only completely different. Hold these stretches for 15 seconds apiece, breathe deeply and release. Repeat five more times.

Once you’ve mastered these stretches to the point you can pert-near fold yourself in half, you should be getting close to being able to lick your own dick…if it’s long enough, that is.

While lying flat on the floor place, roll yourself up, legs to your head and place your knees, one at a time, on either side of your head so you’re looking at your crotch and your pud is pointed towards your lips. Don’t forget to breathe through these stretches.

Now grab your ass and pull your dick closer to your mouth. If it’s meant to be, this is how it will happen. If it’s not meant to be, it won’t.

But don’t despair, if ya can’t pull this off. All those stretching exercises you’ve been doing will make you a much better lover with a partner. Because you will be much more limber for all the sexual gymnastics, don’t cha know.

Name: Gil
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Ohio
I’m bi and I have both female and male lovers. Right now, I’m in more of a same sex phase. I’m dating two different guys that I like a lot. Both are really nice and fun and the sex is pretty good. But neither one of these guys — one is 23 and the other is 25, knows how to kiss worth a damn. And I can’t get worked up without kissing. The 23 year old claims to be mostly straight and says kissing is too queer for him. The other guy is all like all open mouth teeth. Yuck! Is it just me, or is kissing a lost art for gay men?

You are so right on, Gil! Kissing is a lost art, but not just for gay men. Women often tell me that their straight male partners don’t know squat about kissing either. Is it just too intimate a thing for manly men nowadays or what?

And yeah, it is queer for one guy to kiss another guy. It’s supposed to be, for Pet’s sake! What, does the 23 year old think he’ll maintain his “straightness” if he sucks and fucks another dude, but doesn’t kiss him? WTF!

In my book, kissing is essential to satisfying sex. If ya can’t kiss, I’d be willing to bet you can’t fuck either. Oh, that’s not to say that you won’t be able to bump parts, any monkey can do that. But real good fucking involves passion and how’s there supposed to be passion without kissing? That’s what I’d like to know.

Kissing is often the first sexual experience we have. Whether it’s a light kiss from a friend, or deep sensuous French kiss with a potential lover. We can express so much with kissing — love, passion, friendship, commitment — and we can do so while fully clothed.

Kissing someone on the mouth is bliss. But taking those kisses to other places on your partner’s body is a mighty fine idea too. I used to think kissing came naturally to us all, but now I’m convinced that’s now so. It could be we all have an innate ability that just needs to be nurtured before it blossoms. Whatever the case may be, there are some things the kissing challenged ought know.

Always make sure that your breath is fresh. There’s nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath! This is particularly important for those of you who still smoke.

Kissing not only involves your mouth, it also has to involve body contact, hugging and touching.

If you’re all open mouth, teeth and drool, you’re not kissing.

If you rush to jam your tongue into your partner’s mouth and down his or her throat, you’re not kissing.

If you’re biting instead of nibbling, you’re not kissing.

If you’re trying to cover his or her entire mouth with yours like some kind of freaky suction cup, you’re not kissing.

If you’re kissing with your eyes wide open, you’re not kissing.

If your tongue is poking and prodding in your partner’s mouth like it is searching for lost food, you’re not kissing.

IF someone is kissing you and you’re not kissing back, you’re not kissing.

If you’re body is stiff, like a frozen slab of beef, you’re not kissing.

If your hands are stationary without a thing to do, you’re not kissing.

If you think kissing is something ya gotta do just to get laid, you’re not kissing.

If you’re pressed for technique, or you’re simply clueless about where to begin, start by giving your partner a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Then move back a little, look him or her in the eye, then move in again for another kiss with a bit more passion this time. Slowly build up the passion and excitement with a series of these kinds of seductive kisses till you’re all over one another like a bad cold.

Or try light kissing all over your partner’s face and neck pausing every now and again for a deep sigh and a longing look in his/her eyes. Whatever you do, don’t suck or slobber. Save that for when you’re eating her out or sucking his cock.

If you think you need practice kissing, and unless you’ve been told that you are a great kisser, you do need practice. And you’re too timid to invite a partner to join you for the exercise, here’s what I propose you do. Make a fist; turn it sideways so that you have the opening between your thumb and forefinger in front of you. Kiss that. Stand in front of a mirror and watch yourself. If you look like they do in the movies, you may be on the right track.

When you think you’re getting the hang of it, move on to the real thing. Don’t be shy we all have to start somewhere. You might invite your partner to give you some feed back on how you’re doing. Remember, practice makes perfect.

Name: Wilson
Gender: male
Age: 58
Location: Lancing MI
I’m a successful entrepreneur, in decent health (I could stand to lose a few pounds.) I have just about everything a man could want in life, but I’m miserable. I have no energy and I feel like I’m sleepwalking through my life. I have no sex drive at all; my wife thinks I’m having an affair…I wish. Even Viagra doesn’t do the trick anymore. Is this just old age, or what?

Old age, at 58? I beg your pardon! Hell, you’re not even technically a senior yet! Regardless what we call it, you sound like you’re in the throws of andropause — male menopause — ya know, the change of life!

Never heard of such a thing? You’re not alone. It’s only been recently that the medical industry has begun to pay attention to the impact changing hormonal levels has on the male mind and body. Most often andropause is misdiagnosed as depression and treated with an antidepressant. WRONG!

Every man will experience a decrease testosterone, the “male” hormone, as he ages. This decline is gradual, often spanning ten to fifteen years on average. While the gradual decrease of testosterone does not display the profound effects that menopause does, the end results are similar.

There’s no doubt a man’s sexual response changes with advancing age and the decrease of testosterone. Sexual urges diminish, erections are harder to come by, they’re not as rigid, there’s less jizz shot with less oomph. And our refractory period (or interval) between erections is more pronounced too.

While most all of us have heard of a mid-life crisis, and it’s tragic consequences — red convertible sports cars, comb-overs, and the trophy wife or lover — fewer have heard of andropause. A mid-life crisis is essentially a psycho-social adjustment to aging — bored at work, bored at home, bored with the wife or partner — that sort of thing.

Although andropause may coincide with a mid-life crisis, is not the same thing. Andropause is a distinct physiological phenomenon that is akin to female menopause.

Like I said, the production of testosterone diminishes gradually after age 40. I suppose you know that testosterone is the hormone that stimulates sexual development in the male infant, bone and muscle growth in adolescent males, and is responsible for our sexual drive, right? But did you know that by the age of 55 the amount of testosterone secreted into our bloodstream is significantly lower than it was at 45. And by age 80, most male hormone levels have decreased to pre-puberty levels.

Men, are you over 50, feeling weak, lethargic, depressed and irritable? Do you have mood swings, hot flashes, suffer from insomnia and decreased libido, like our buddy Wilson, here? Then you too may be andropausal. You need to get some lead back in your pencil!

All kidding aside, all us andropausal men might want to consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). Ask your physician about this. Just know that some medical professionals resist testosterone therapy, because they mistakenly link Testosterone Replacement Therapy with prostate cancer. Even though recent evidence shows prostatic disease is estrogen-dependent rather than testosterone-dependent. However, before starting a testosterone regiment, insist on a complete physical, including blood work and a rectal examine. Mmmm, rectal exams!

Here’s an interesting tidbit; total testosterone, which is generally the only thing that is ever measured in men complaining of andropausal symptoms, is only low in relation to the standard laboratory “normal range” in 13% of cases. However, more detailed blood analysis shows that bio-available Testosterone, which is the important measure, is decreased in 74% of cases.

Testosterone is available in many forms — oral, injectable, trans-dermal and by way of implants. The oral form is not recommended because of the high risk of liver damage. But injections, patches, pellets, creams and gels might be just the answer.

I encourage you to be informed about TRT before you approach your doctor, because the best medicine is practiced collaboratively — by you and your doctor.

We’re back with Part 2 of my chat with the sensational author, Kay Jaybee, as we continue to investigate The Erotic Mind. Stick around, because we will be hearing from several world-class erotic artist in this new series of interviews.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you just need to blow off a little steam and talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode. And while you are there, feel free to leave a comment.

Name: Jake
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: London
I have never had sex mostly because I have never managed to approach the person. I am bisexual and am desperate to have sex with a guy or girl. What are the best ways to approach someone for sex?

Can’t manage to approach a person for sex? Are you just really shy, or are you a total geek? Either way, my friend, you gotta get over yourself if you ever hope to get laid. And here’s a tip: perspective partners can smell desperation, like the kind you speak of, a mile away. And they will avoid you like the plague.

Ok, so you’re just 18 without a lot of experience in the ways of the world. Here’s what I tell everyone who asks me this question, regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation. When it comes to asking for sex; the direct approach works best. Just so long as you’re not a dick about it. If you haven’t already discovered this, baggin a bird will probably take a bit more finesse than pokin’ on a bloke. And coming on to a mate demands a different approach than hittin’ up a stranger for a shag.

If there’s a bit of charm about you, your task will be considerably easier than if you are a crude Neanderthal who just wants to notch his belt. If you’re not sure what your selling points are, ask a friend for his or her feedback. If he or she tells you nice things bout yourself, you might be in luck. If he or she tells you that you’re a charmless creep, you’ll have your work cut out for you.

Regardless what group you fall into — the “maybe fuckable”, or the “not fucking ever”, you can always improve your image and hone your unique style. Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free. Dress to impress. Stay clear of fancy or fussy, but do make it look like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself. Make yourself interesting; have a point of view, but share it sparingly. Develop a sense of humor about yourself. If you can’t be clever or witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part.

The internet is a great place to test the waters. Dating and hook-up sites abound. Put up a profile…with a photo or two. Here’s a tip, save the dick pics for the queer sites. Women don’t want to see your pathetic willie, at least not right away. And like I said above, there’s nothing more unattractive to most women, or men, than a desperate fuck. Asking for what you want is good, pleading to be taken out of pity is not!

Few women are as casual about sex as are most men. So if a woman tells you no, she just may be shy, or not ready, or not sure. If a guy tell you no, it’s not the end of the world. He’s probably not into your type. Since there are so many fish in the sea, if you’re not immediately successful, move on. Sometimes getting laid is a situational thing. Being in the right place at the right time is helpful.

Chicks are gonna be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a woman then for a dude. If you’re not well versed on all methods of contraception and willing to practice at least one, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both. Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom regardless of your partner’s gender.

If you’re dick is hard, it’s not the right time to talk about sex with a woman, but it might be the best time to hit up a dude. Women don’t necessarily like the lean and hungry look. Men tend to groove on it.

There are lots of different ways to have sex, so what might be appealing to one person may not be to another. Hand jobs and/or blow jobs are often more easy to cum by than full-on fucking with both birds and blokes.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat a prospective partner, regardless of gender, with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure whatever words you use will be more effective than if you’re an uncouth lout.

Name: Nita
Gender: female
Age: 40
Location: South Africa
I recently had abdominal surgery to remove a cancer. I’m recovering pretty well, and the prognosis for my future is also pretty good. But I am noticing two problems. The surgery left a really big scar. It’s still not fully healed yet, but I can tell it’s always going to be ugly. And my belly is really misshapen now. I felt pretty okay about my body before hand, but this scar really makes me look really unattractive. Also, my sex drive has completely gone away. I used to be a pretty sexual person, but now nothing excites me. Would you say this is normal?

How long ago was your surgery, I wonder? It’s got to be pretty recent, if you say the incision is still healing.

Darlin’, may I suggest that you’ve been through quite a trauma — a cancer diagnosis, recent surgery and all. This would throw anyone for a loop. I’d be willing to guess you’ve not had the proper time to process all of this. It comes as no surprise to me that your libido has gone south. I wouldn’t expect otherwise.

If you’re still healing on the outside, you know for sure your insides have a much longer way to go. You’re probably still feeling some discomfort, right? That’s enough to put the kibosh on sexual interest right there. You’re body is consumed with the job of healing itself. It probably hasn’t any energy to spare for sex. And why have a libido if ya can’t be sexual, right? So you see, your body is actually protecting itself and concentrating on the task at hand.

Maybe at this point in your recovery a little pampering would be better for you than a pursuit of sexual pleasure. Long luxurious baths will help soothe the tension, as well as giving your easy access to your fine pussy. Even folks with no discernable libido find touching themselves enjoyable. And just to keep your head in the game, even though you’re sitting on the sidelines, you could read some erotica or watch some sexy smut.

Some modest exercise like walking or swimming can perk up the libido too. Treat yourself to an erotic massage. Let a pro get his or her hands on you and make you glow. This may also help bring back some of the sensitivity to areas effected by the surgery. One things for sure, doing something is better than doing nothing but sitting there wondering what’s up.

An invasive and disfiguring surgery will always have a profound effect on one’s body image, which goes without saying. Feeling unattractive because of a scar? No doubt about it, it’s a bummer. But here you are writing to me about it, instead of napping six-feet under. So I guess the scar is not the worst thing that could have happened, right? As you probably know, I’m hearing from a number of my country’s war vets returning home with shattered bodies and lives. My advice to them is what I offer you now. Move through the scar’s impact…with a therapist if need be. And find within yourself the other things that make you beautiful, attractive, alluring and desirable. Who knows, you might luck out and find a scar fetishist out there who will worship you for what you find loathsome.

Embracing and then moving past your scaring will open you to find the myriad pleasures your body can still provide you and others. So while your body works on healing itself, your mind can do likewise. No need to have two scars, on one your belly and another one on your psyche. In the end you may find that flaunting your scar, like some women do with their mastectomy scars, will liberate you from feeling unattractive. After all, that scare and misshapen abdomen are your red badges of courage, honey. Not only do they make you distinct, but also they testify to you being a survivor.

Name: David
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Location: New York, NY
This is a rather disgusting question. I am a gay male who prefers to be the bottom. The trouble is that even if I perform an enema right before sex, I still seem to get some excrement onto my partner’s penis during sex. It just seems that the feeling of the motion back and forth inside of me causes a sensation that makes something come out. The odor is, at times, unpleasant and I, of course, am mortified. I wonder if this is a common problem and if there is anything else I can do to PREVENT this from happening?? Could it perhaps be my diet? Do I need to drink more water?

YIKES! You sound like a real attractive guy, David. Just kidding!

If you are douching properly before the butt fucking there shouldn’t be much seepage if any. Maybe you’re not taking care of business correctly. Or maybe you need to douche twice. Or maybe you’re being fucked too hard. I know that a vigorous fucking will introduce more air into the bottom’s rectum expanding it and making for that “OMG, I gotta take a dump” feeling.

I understand you being mortified; a smelly dirty fuck is no fun for anyone. That being said, you have to realize your bowels are working properly, so it’s not their fault. Just remember, there will inevitably be some unpleasant side effects when rootin’ around in someone’s hole, regardless how fastidious the bottom is about his hygiene.

I’m not sure I see the connection between diet and hydration and messy fucking, but hell, I’d try just about anything to keep from embarrassing myself when my toes are pointed to jesus!

Name: Ken
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: Seattle
I recently went to get a massage with a “happy ending” As soon as the girl started to fondle me I came and I did not even have an erection yet. I never have this problem with my wife or past girlfriends. Why did this happen? It sure cost a lot of money for about five minutes with this “lady”. Thanks

Well, let’s see…either this “masseuse” (and I use that term very loosely) was amazingly talented, or you were just real nervous about doing this naughty thing with someone other than your wife.

Hmmm, I bet it was the later.

Here’s a tip, always get the massage first…before the happy ending. If the first thing that happens is the happy ending, then you got gypped, darlin’!

Name: Marion
Gender: female
Age: 32
Location: NYC
I’m 34 and single. After 15 years of unsuccessful dating, searching for the right guy to marry and raise a family with, I decided to go it alone. I’m 2 months pregnant through artificial insemination. You’ll love this; the donor is my best gay pal. I am absolutely delighted and cherish the thought of finally being a mother. While a lot of the guys I’ve been dating aren’t father material, they are great sex and I don’t want to continue to enjoy their company. I gather that it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy. But is there anything I should avoid? Are there specific sexual positions that better suit a mommy-to-be like me?

Hey, congratulations on the bun in the oven, darlin’. And how true about some men being great in the sack, but not desirable husband and/or father material. I know several gay men who have helped out a long-suffering straight and lesbian friends with the whole breeding thing. Us “mos” are so selfless in that regard.

It’s difficult to find accurate and unambiguous information about sex during pregnancy that doesn’t have a decidedly sex-negative bias to it. For the most part, our culture promotes the message that sex is primarily for procreation. Why then would any responsible mother to be continue to have sex if she’s already knocked up? You can see where a lot of the misconceptions, misinformation and scare tactics come from, huh?

So let’s see if we can shed some light on this for ya. As a pregnancy advances, the fertilized egg grows into an embryo and then into a fetus. The fetus is encased in and protected by the amniotic cavity. This provides the fetus nourishment and protects it from infections. A thick layer of mucus seals the cervix further isolating the fetus in the mother’s uterus.

If you’re having a normal pregnancy, as do most women, then there is no reason to alter your sex life during your pregnancy. Since this is your first, you’ll not know this, but a woman who has a history of premature birth may be advised by her physician to abstain from partnered sex during the last three months of pregnancy. In the same way, a woman with a history of miscarriage will probably be advised to avoid partnered sex in the first trimester. Only women with high-risk pregnancies might be advised to avoid sex for the full term of the pregnancy.

Nature provides all protection the fetus needs in its mother’s uterus. So you don’t need to worry about semen or vaginal fluids coming into contact with the baby. And the mucus seal on your cervix does not allow a penis to come in direct contact with the fetus either. Which dispels several misconceptions right there, don’t cha know.

In terms of pregnancy related sex, I suspect that your libido will probably play a more determining role in your availability for sex than you capacity to have sex. Your libido will no doubt fluctuate during your pregnancy, which may have a lot to do with hormonal fluctuations. Increased blood circulation in your pelvic region will heighten sensations, but you may find your body feels too heavy to fully enjoy sex.

Most men will love your bigger tits and fuller hips, but sometimes an overriding concern to avoid any exertion on the uterus or in the vagina makes partnered sex too cumbersome.

Sex during pregnancy, like sex after menopause, is free of worry about contraception, which makes sex more enjoyable for some. While others are too busy anticipating the new addition to be much interested in sex at all.

In terms of sexual positions, you’re gonna be the best judge of that. No position is automatically ruled out, but as your pregnancy progresses you’ll find some positions, like the missionary position, will be uncomfortable. One of the best positions might be the woman on top position. Sometimes known as the Cowgirl position. This position takes all of the pressure off of the woman’s abdomen, and also allows her to control the speed and the depth of thrusting.

And if you are a fan of anal sex; that will continue to be a terrific option throughout your pregnancy, particularly doggie style. Some pregnant women claim that butt fucking actually helps soothe their pregnancy induced hemorrhoids. In your final weeks mutual masturbation may be the easiest option as well as the most satisfying sexual outlet.