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Nota Bene

Our modern relationships have nothing to do anymore with the one our grandparents, or even our parents went through. Years of fights for equality have completely changed the relationships between men and women. Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst.
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Exploring the highs and lows of relationships

Love with no strings attached

What do you do when you don’t want to commit in a relationship ? Some try the joy of celibacy, some other can’t stand being alone, and choose a strange kind of relationship: love with no strings attached. The New York Times has written quite a lot about this phenomenon in NYC, but now we start to see this coming in European towns.

In Brussels, I ‘ve met quite a lot of single women who told me about their special fuck friends. Basically, these women have one (or more) friend they call whenever they need to have sex, but they don’t want to get involved in a true relationship. In other words, this guy is just a “friend with benefits”.

I’m quite impressed by those women, because I do have many male friends and I don’t see myself sleeping with one of them if I was single ( which I’m not) . If it was the case, I couldn’t be so detached. I’m not the kind of woman who can sleep with a man and then feel nothing about it. Candace Bushnell explained in her book Sex and the City that’s more typical of men. Maybe I’m too old fashioned…

Besides, maybe this kind of relationship works for women who are afraid to commit, but for the others, it can be just hurtful. One of the woman I met told me she has a crush on her friend, and accepted to be his fuck friend because it was the only way to get into a relationship with him. She also explained she wasn’t his only fuck friend, just one among the others, and that she was a bit jealous about the other women. I asked her why she didn’t tell him about her feelings, and she replied that if she did that, she would probably lose him, as a sexual partner, but also as a friend.

It’s clear that for some women, it’s just a game. But we’re not all Samantha Jones.