Life in these United States

In other news, officials in Boston announced that they had exhumed the body of serial killer Ted Bundy to sit and act as an impartial observer in the trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Since airlines refused to fly a rotting corpse across the country, the judge ordered that the body be transported by rail.

Oh yeah, Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. With that in mind, anything is possible.