Rosie O’Donnell Has Another Reason To Be Angry

Look for Rosie O’Donnell to take to the webcam and haiku generator in about 2.5 seconds. The Globe ran a story that claims she’s abusing her kids. Their headline (“Raging Rosie Bullies Her Boy”) ran alongside a picture of Rosie yelling at her son Parker,12, on March 30. The story claims that she “forcefully manhandled him.”

The story also says that she may have caused “lifelong damage” to daughter Vivienne, 5, and son Blake, 8, by “berating” Parker in front of them. Rosie’s people aren’t feeling this.

“The story is absolutely ludicrous and ridiculous,” O’Donnell’s publicist says. “There is no truth to it whatsoever. I would put The Globe at the bottom of the bird cage.”

I’m not buying it either. The only danger those children are in is of being eaten. I watched this lady work on her cruise, and she loves the kids. This is not a Joan Crawford situation. She trotted her ass down to the pool and talked to each and every single one of them, answering all their kid questions and being very kind. If I mention that cruise again, feel free to send me anthrax.

My other problem with this is: who doesn’t have to yell at their kid and tug em’ around now and then? Damn, have we gotten this politically correct? Ri-Ri Harvey was not above calling the Harvey boys “a pack of assholes” and kicking shoes across the room. Kids can suck. I know I did at times. I’m sure you did, too. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to blow up at your kid now and then if they’re acting the fool. Kids can suck so bad that I wouldn’t blame some parents for putting them into a catapult and firing.