Wednesday, November 09, 2005

NEW SELF MADE BLOGSKIN!!many thanks to myself and a big humongous HUGS to my dear jasmine for helping me the html code and stuff... i love JASMINE! MUACKS!

today i went jasmine's hse and we did a lesson plan for friday! wheeeee... can't wait!

how much of others do u understand... how much do u think others understand u...it's a 2 way thing.... how much u try to understand, how much u let others understand...there are times u think that u are a know all piece of crap and act as if u are on top of the worldthere are times when u feel that everyone is just some foreign object no matter how much attempts u make to understand them, u just can't... then u end up feeling all alone, despair...u wonder if anyone cares, u feel abandoned, u feel like the world doesn't matter much to you any more...this.... is the mentality of a emotional girl...it sucks when ur emotions get the better of you.... i dun believe it when they say u should just cry it out when u feel depressed... maybe it's this image i wanna maintain... ever smiling, ever insane & high high high...should we even try to maintain a image? or should we be just who we really are inside? i've meet people who are quiet, reserved & what others would usually describe as a introvert... but inside them are souls who yearn for this carefree feeling as much as we do, it's just that they don't know how.... they don't dare to tryit's after i befriend them that i realised that some of them are actually more crazy than me if given a chance to, that they can better represent and understand the word carefree than my own interpretation.why are we so concerned about the image thing? why are we so eager to package ourselves into perfect products of the society, to sell ourselves to companies. to smile and cough only at appopriate times. to have dining etiqutte. what wrong with uncivilised? at least people are more direct, less scheming."you are the crazy side of me" my best friend wrote that in my autograph book.... till this day i still remember...sometimes i just wish i was more simple minded.... sometimes my thoughts scare me... sometimes i'm so freaked out by the complicated relationships between people that i prefer not to have friends at all.... sometimes i'm so grossed out by how much influence one can have by bootlicking teachers, the extremes they go to to please them, that whatever they say to the teachers holds so much weight that it could crush those they directed their words to.sometimes i do things so unthinkable... that i can basically classify myself under the same category as those bootlickers whom i hate...dont' trust me... i might betray u one day... i'm so ironic...

양사민

“It is said an eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him with the words, 'And this, too, shall pass away.' How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!” ~Abraham Lincoln