About a thousand years ago, I used to do some copywriting for an international corporation that was in the business of selling things to people who lived around the country. During the winter, I would sometimes write things about the cold or the snow on the ground, because they always say that you should write what you know, and in the winter I know that I am miserable. But the editors would always tell me that I had to take these charming details out because we were marketing to people who lived in Florida and California as well, and that it was not cold in those places. Well guess what Florida and California! I DO NOT WORK FOR THAT COMPANY ANYMORE. Don’t we all agree that it is incredibly cold outside? Sure we do. This is America.

Ease your dog days of winter blues with another Monsters’ Ball. After the jump, the Five Hottest Comments, as voted on by you, the Coldest Comment, and the Editor’s Choice.

[Ed. note: a first in the history of the Monsters’ Ball! A full sweep of Best New Party Game comments. On the one hand, I think there were lots of great comments this week from people who had something to actually say, but that game was fun, and these comments are all great, so let’s just enjoy this moment. A wise man once said that paradise is owning an airplane hangar full of cars the ability to know you’re in it before you’re cast out of it. We are in it!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

i haven’t said this in awhile, but who the fuck cares? fuck this talentless, douchey looking douchebag.

[Ed. note: you brought this upon yourself, woozefa. You are a valued and contributive member to the Videogum community, but this is my least favorite type of Internet comment. Next time, you should just not click on the post! No one will think you are less of a man or less of a woman, whichever you are, if you keep your not-very-useful curse words to yourself!]

[Ed. note: Oh man. It is crazy how you can know so much about how the Internet works, and still close your eyes to the obvious truth and click on a link with your heart full of hope. I wanted so bad for this to be real. And even though that is the essence of the ancient practice of Rick Rolling, and countless other e-gags, I’m sure, it does not change the fact that for a brief second, Patrick M made the impossible possible and brought dreams within reach. Thank you for that.]