Friday, 26 July 2013

"Day of the Dead" (1985, George A. Romero, Dead Films Inc., Laurel Entertainment Inc., Laurel-Day Inc., United Film Distribution Company) is the third in Romero's series of "...of the Dead" films.

After "Dawn of the Dead" (1978) the world has become overrun by zombies, and now, hiding in caves and fortresses, the remaining living civilians and army personnel are dwelling, hoping to find a cure or more survivors.

This film explores the slow decay of one such micro-society and the turning of the humans against one another at this inhuman hour.

Also, a scientist, known unaffectionately as "Dr. Frankenstein" (Richard Liberty), who had gone decidedly mad, trains a zombie called Bub (Sherman Howard) to listen to music, communicate and shoot a gun. Definitely not the best idea I've ever heard...

All in all, it is, in my view, the weakest and most poignant of the films with a lot to say about humanity and where we are headed (zombie apocalypse or not), but it's certainly a good film with lots going on, excellent acting and some excellent gore. There are comparatively few scare scenes with the zombies creeping up on the characters until the end, but between the zombie-infested-cave-adventure and the fantastic Bub-fights-back scenes, it's well worth the wait.

Thursday, 25 July 2013

"Bride of Chucky" (1998, David Kirschner, Ronny Yu, Universal
Pictures) is the fourth film in the franchise.

Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) is an ex-girlfriend and admirer of murderer,
Charles "Chucky" Lee Ray (Brad Dourif). She's followed his devious
escapades since becoming Chucky the Killer Doll and has found a way to source the,
now dismembered doll parts, planning to stitch them back together and restore
Chucky’s soul to the doll.

She expects him to propose to her in gratitude and also because she had
mistakenly thought he had planned to propose before his voodoo transformation
in the first film.

Upon learning that he doesn’t wish to marry her, Tiffany cages Chucky in a playpen
prison and taunts him with an ugly doll bride. Sadly for her, Chucky still has
his voodoo skills and he kills her, trapping her inside the body of the doll.

Putting aside their differences, they then go on a murderous road trip with
two eloping teens (Katherine Heigl and Nick Stabile) that are unaware of their
stowaway passenger’s killing spree, believing them to inanimate dolls.

“Bride of Chucky” is a horror comedy with some gore and a lot of in-jokes
and nods to other horrors as well as the Child’s Play series itself. This is a
film for the fans, and even then not everyone will like it.

I do love Jennifer Tilly as Tiffany, both as her evil self and in doll form.
Not to mention I reckon Brad Dourif’s maniacal laugh is even better as the
films go on.

Excellent effects, as I can only expect from the Child’s Play franchise and
a good, if thin, plot.

It’s not a great film and it's certainly not scary, but it’s not trying to be. Falling into the so-bad-it’s-good-category
was clearly the director’s aim, and I think it goes a long way in saving the
series from falling into the trapping of constantly recreating the wheel.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

"The Machine Girl" (2008, Noboru Iguchi, Fever Dreams) is the Japanese action horror comedy about a schoolgirl who loses an arm, replaces it with a machine gun and uses it to take down all of those who have wronged her!

And it's in-keeping with my running theme of tough chicks with weaponry body-mods (it seems to be my thing this week).

Ami (Minase Yashiro) takes on a ninja-yakuza mob family after the murder of her brother, Yu (Ryosuke Kawamura). When she loses an arm at the hands (pardon the pun) of the Kimura family, she finds a way to make her disability a positive and heads on to take the family down in this horror-comedy schlock-fest.

Amongst the usual trappings of any B-movie horror comedy (eg. lots of blood spurting scenes), we also have tempura battered appendages, human sushi and a drill bra to look forward to.

Not one for the subtitle haters unless you can access the dubbed version.

And the crazed Lieutenant Muldoon (Bruce Willis) makes a transaction with a bollocks-obsessed madman named Abby (Naveen Andrews) of a biological weapon called DC2 (codename "Project Terror") which goes decidedly wrong and is released into the air, turning everyone into mutated zombie creatures.

In order to save the world (or at least themselves) Cherry, her tough guy ex, El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez) and Dakota must team together with Abby to fight the zombies and escape!

Oh, and Cherry loses a leg and replaces it with a machine gun.

...Double oh, and it's all done in the fabulously gritty Grindhouse style.

Sound like fun? Well, it is!

The opposite of serious with absurdly low budget, explosive, gross-out effects (high on the goo factor) and a star cast with their tongues in their cheeks and a sense of fun in the air.

One of the best nods to the Exploitation and Grindhouse genre with a cheeky wink and some gloop to go with it. Perhaps a little longer than it needed to be, but still one of my favourites.

Sunday, 21 July 2013

The Puppets are back at the Bodega Bay hotel and have raised their original Puppet Master, Andre Toulon (Steve Welles) from the grave using the same dark mojo that animates themselves. Unlike in the first film, however, Toulon is not using the puppets for good and decides to set them upon a group of paranormal investigators who are checking out the hotel after the events of the first film. He's also got his sights set on young Carolyn (Elizabeth Maclellan) whom he believes is the reincarnation of his wife, Elsa.

A slightly better made production which appeared to have more of a budget, "Puppet Master 2" looks slightly shinier, but lacks the gore of the first film. However, the dialogue and scripting is much improved, only being half as boring as the original.

The puppets are still wonderfully animated for a low budget film and enjoy more screen time. While it doesn't do much for franchise in terms of plot or acting and is riddled with plotholes, but it's a fun little flick.

A world war begins when colossal alien monsters (Kaijus) emerge from a rift under the sea and begin to attack humanity. In an attempt to fight back, the humans create enormous robotic suits (Jaegers) which can be controlled by two pilots who have shared their minds and memories to act together as one massive soldier. The apocalypse looks set to happen... Can they stop it?

It seems like your average Giant Monster movie but I found it to be so much more than just a love letter to Godzilla or Cthulhu.

For one thing the characters are rounded and feel very real.

Even the comic relief characters; the hyper monster-awestruck scientist Dr. Newton Geiszler (Charlie Day known best for his role as endearingly disgusting Charlie in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia") and his stiff upper lipped rival/partner Dr. Hermann Gottlieb (Burn Gormann - Owen from "Torchwood"); have a much larger role to play in the film than first appears and are both humorous and layered. It seems even when Charlie isn't Charlie he's still stuck doing Charlie Work!

And of course Ron Perlman's character, Hannibal Chau, just adds a creepy layer of humour and class. Not to mention his natty golden toe'd shoes. There's a bit of shoe thing going on in this film...

For another thing the special effects are wonderful and the fight scenes use minimal shaky cam, letting the viewer enjoy the action without feeling sea sick and unsure of what the hell is going on.

The whole film knits together very well and the design of each monster has a horrific charm of its own.

The acting is spot on for all of the characters and I really enjoyed that the script touches upon dark elements without being just another dark and gloomy heroic action epic. I mean, Batman's great and all, but I'm getting bored of broody protagonists with a 'dark past'...

Becket (Charlie Hunnam) and Mako's (Rinko Kikuchi) paring works excellently and you find yourself not just routing for them, but their whole team, especially also their dedicated commanding officer Stacker Pentecos (Idris Elba).

A great switch-off-your-brain-and-enjoy monster movie with some very human undertones and one I recommend seeing!

Friday, 19 July 2013

"Puppet Master" (1989,
David Schmoeller, Full Moon Productions, Paramount Pictures) is the first film in the Puppet Master series. Coincidentally, it was also the first film I ever streamed back when that was a novel idea!

An old puppeteer named Andre Toulon (William Hickey) is interrupted in his work (making, caring for and bringing to life weapon toting little puppets) by two Nazis. In order to escape them he hides his creations and then kills himself.

Now in the 80s, the hotel where the above took place is now a large house. The owner of which, Megan (Robin Frates), is mourning the sudden death of her husband, Neil (Jimmie F. Skaggs).Megan is also entertaining guests, the psychics and magicians of her husband's circle. All of whom are nasty, except Alex (Paul Le Mat), Alex is ok.

It would appear that ol' Neil has found Toulon's secret and brought back the puppets. But only a true Puppet Master can control the little beggers, and Neil is dead! So who can stop the puppets as they kill each of Megan's guests?

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

"Trailer Park of Terror" (2008, Steven Goldmann, Summit Entertainment) is a humorous splatter film with some exploitation nods. It's based on the Imperium Comic book series of the same name.

A group of troubled teens take shelter in a seemingly abandoned trailer park after their bus crashes. They find the odd, kind of creepy and seductive hostess Norma (Nichole Hiltz) there who makes them and their guardian, Pastor Lewis (Matthew Del Negro), as comfortable as you can be in a gross, old trailer park. However, Norma isn't all she seems and she isn't alone....

It's a bit of a mash up in genres. Kind of "House of 1000 corpses" meets "Death Becomes Her". You have the rapey hillbillies with some deviant fantasies, but they also happen to be zombies... Some of whom are better at keeping themselves together than others.

Depraved, gory and a bit dumb, the film mainly sticks to the horror comedy realms, with a singing zombie cowboy on guitar. But it also delves into the more gruesome torture-centred gore, which seems to be the focus of a lot of horrors at the moment.

Not really scary or creative, and not the best zombie or hillbilly horror comedy out there, but I don't think it deserves all the bad reviews it's been getting. I think it suffers for being just another submission to the zombie/redneck/torture basket. But it's entertaining.

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

"Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" (2010, Troy Nixey, Guillermo del Toro, Miramax Films, Gran via Tequila Gang, FilmDistrict, StudioCanal UK) is a remake of the 1973 made-for-TV film of the same name.

The troubled young daughter (Bailee Madison) of an architect (Guy Pearce) who is refurbishing an old mansion to its former glory with his new wife (Katie Holmes), discovers Fey creatures are trapped within the house behind an iron grate and decides to set them free, believing them to be friendly. However, they soon turn out to be vicious and devious creatures which are hungry for children's teeth and must also take a mortal back to their netherworld to replenish their ranks.

A creepy retelling of the Tooth Fairy myth, this film was excellently jumpy in the cinema, but loses something a little on the small screen.

However, the animation of the 'fairies' is brilliant and little Bailee Madison gives a perfect performance as young Sally.

Not a film that will scare many adults, but would have many young viewers scared to hang an arm over the side of the bed, I imagine.

Creepy in a traditional way, with beautiful settings and effective attack scenes (and a little gore), I thoroughly enjoyed this film as a fun and creepy fairy story.

A group of violent hoodlums and criminals are offered the chance to make some extra cash if they can find a specific video tape containing a rare piece of found footage from an abandoned house. However, they get there to find that a corpse is sitting in the house in front of several old TV sets and there are hundreds of VHS tapes. We join them as they go through each tape, finding stranger and stranger footage as they go.

I'm a huge fan of horror anthologies and I thought that this enveloping plot sounded really creative. And it is. However my main criticism is that because the enveloping story is also done in found footage style, the whole film feels very jumpy and can be quite taxing to watch and follow.

There are five shorts in the film, not including the narrative tale about the video tape.

Amateur Night (directed by David Bruckner)
This short is about a group of guys out on a night out who have fitted a pair of thick rimmed spectacles with a camera and plan to take home some drunken females in order to film the resulting shenanigans. Unfortunately for them, they weren't too picky about which drunken females they have selected.
A very rapey tale that's premise is terrifying in a very real way. The short is well put together, is easy to follow as we see what our glasses toting would-be 'lover' sees, and the acting is good, especially that of Hannah Fierman (who plays Lily) and it's nicely gory.

My main issue with the story is that it just wasn't scary! It was obvious where the plot was heading, and if I'm honest, I was glad to see all those gits get ripped apart.

Second Honeymoon (directed by Ti West)
A married couple on their 'second honeymoon' receive a strange prediction from a theme park fortune telling attraction (similar to the movie 'Big') and who then are stalked in their motel room.
Slow burning and quite tense, the gore is kept at a minimum. There is also a twist, which I admittedly was not expecting, but I wasn't really scared.

Tuesday the 17th (directed by Glenn McQuaid)
A group of kids go for a camping trip at the lake (see what they did with the title, yet?). But, as they are settling down for a fun drunken night, it becomes apparent that their friend Wendy (Norma C. Quinones) has an ulterior motive for inviting everyone up there, and it might all be a trap!

Just a bit of fun with some dodgy camera effects and a well-trodden, recognisable setting.The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger (Directed by Joe Swanberg)This one seems like a haunted house short of the same ilk as "Paranormal Activity", but it has a twist.This one was the only short in this colletion that was actually verging on scary. I love a good ghosty jump scare, but I found the twist took away from what was a nice, traditional spooky short. Although, I did enjoy the extra twist which gave a new sick dimension to the James character.10/31/98 (Directed by Radio Silence) A group of young people in fancy dress are heading to a Halloween party at a friend's house. They take a wrong turn without knowing it, and wind up in the wrong house only to find out that this house is haunted and, once inside, the spirits might not want them to leave.Not the best haunted house short out there, the script seemed confused as to whether it was an all-out haunting or Poltergeist activity... But the bit with the car was pretty good!

...

For me, I was a bit disappointed after all of the hype! I would say that "V/H/S" was a 'hit and miss', but it was more like a 'hit and some misses'. I really should learn to avoid the hype and go in open minded...A difficult one to fully judge as each horror segment has its own strengths and weaknesses, but on the whole I wasn't so enthralled with the full product.

Thursday, 11 July 2013

"Return to Horror High" (1987, Bill Froehlich, New World
Pictures) is about a low budget horror movie set which is set up at the
abandoned Crippen High School to make a film about the mysterious murders that
happened there five years prior. However, whilst filming, several crew and cast
members mysteriously disappear. Could the murderer still be on the loose?

An odd film, I had been told it was going to be ‘right up my street’, but
sadly it was more of a cul-de-sac on a few rows up from ‘my street’.
Sure it’s corny, cheesy, pretty wooden, full of unabashed innuendo, blood
soaked and benign, but it’s also boring and I like my cheesy horror comedies to
be... well... funny!

I was surprised to find a young George Clooney in it though!

A few good scenes are ruined by long intervals of boredom, but it was a
valiant attempt at a change in the stagnant genre that is the ‘Teen Slasher’.

Having the killer in yellow marigold gloves, though, that is just genius and if
you’re in the mood for something random and a bit different this could be the
one for you!

On the whole it’s a bit of a mixed bag and definitely lives in the
what-the-hell-did-I-just-watch?! pile.

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Grace (Nicole Kidman), a devout Christian, is raising her young children Anne (Alakina Mann) and Nicholas (James Bentley) alone in her large country manor home in Jersey while her husband, Charles (Christopher Eccleston), is away fighting in World War One. Both children suffer from an uncommon disease and are photosensitive so the curtains are always closed.

Just as she needs them, three new servants turn up at the house hoping for work: a maid and nanny, Mrs Mills (Fionnula Flanagan), a gardener called Mr. Tuttle (Eric Sykes) and a young mute girl called Lydia (Elaine Cassidy).

The children are determined that the house is haunted by several spirits, especially that of a young boy called Victor, but Grace pooh-poohs this. That is until she begins to suspect something is wrong herself.

A quiet and slow-burning film that has the feeling of an older horror-thriller. Well paced and intriguing enough not to become boring, but it doesn't make use of many jump scares and uses very few effects.

The child actors are terrific and really give an excellent performance. However, perhaps having seen too many twist endings in my time, and regardless of clever suspense building techniques, I guessed what was coming a lot earlier than I would have preferred.

Regardless, it's a good story and has a darker element to it than you might expect.

Saturday, 6 July 2013

"Dead Mary" (2007, Robert Wilson, 235 Films, Alarco Ent., Genius Product) is about a group of young people who head to a remote cabin in the woods for a drunken reunion now that they're all older and working. However, once together they begin to play dares. One such dare being to each head into the bathroom and chant 'Dead Mary' in the mirror three times to call on the cursed spirit.

I expected more from this film if I'm honest. It took forever to get started! I've never seen a forest/camping horror movie take so long to get some carnage on the screen!

Even when they did begin the "Bloody Mary"/"Candyman" knock off game, it was all tension with minimal payout and kind of left me wishing I'd watched "Cabin Fever" instead...

The characters are the usual unlikeable archetypes, but with more moaning than I'm used to.

Not only are all the good bits off screen, there is no sign of a creepy 'Dead Mary' ghost anywhere and instead they tried to recreate the Evil Dead's deadites rather than do the sensible thing and have a creepy Onryo-esque chick in white, covered in blood, hunting them all down.

Professionally filmed and the acting is good. But, the film is just generally disappointing.

Friday, 5 July 2013

"Seed of Chucky" (2004, Don Mancini, Rogue Pictures) is the fifth in the Child's Play franchise and one of the ones which admits that Chucky (Brad Dourif) is more of a dark comedian than a scary monster.

Chucky and Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) have checked out of their little doll bodies and their consciousness is somewhere in limbo. They're now being used as props in a TV movie about... well themselves.

Meanwhile, somewhere in England their puppet-son, Glen (Billy Boyd), is living the life of Pinnochio with a mean ventriloquist. Also, it appears Glastonbury has a larger range of festivals than I had imagined...

For some reason Tiffany and Chucky's spawn seems like a hybrid between a member of the Sex Pistols and Oliver Twist. He has recurring nightmares where he is killing people, but abhors violence. That is, he abhorred violence...

Discovering his parents' existence while watching TV, he escapes and heads to America to hunt for them. Only to find, after reviving them with a voodoo chant, that he is the freak, puppet son of two freak, puppet murderers.

Feeling that she should be more responsible now that she's a mother, Tiffany attempts to give up her 'murder addiction' by going cold turkey. It doesn't last. However, whilst trying to better herself, she and Chucky are also holding actress, Jennifer Tilly (who voices Tiffany), hostage and are intending to steal her body for Tiffany. Yes, yes, it's all very clever!

They updated the special effects for the dolls running to be more computer generated, which just isn't as effective or fun as the original physical effects, but the facial expressions are still excellent.

A self-aware, campy and unapologetic mad-cap B-movie with gore and terrible one-liners. Just a bit of fun.

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

"Darkness Falls" (2003, Jonathan Liebesman, Revolution Studios, Distant Corners, Columbia Pictures) is about a disfigured woman (Antony Burrows), falsely accused of, and killed for, being a witch who returns 150 years later as a malevolent spirit with a twisted take on the Tooth Fairy tale.

The film starts with a narrative opening, before we get to meet young Kyle Walsh and his little girlfriend, Caitlin.

Kyle has just lost his last baby tooth and after Caitlin goes home, he tries to get to sleep. His only issue is that The Tooth Fairy is lurking ominously in his room making all manner of creepy noises. When he looks upon her disfigured and masked face, he becomes cursed to become one of her victims. Unfortunately, his mother walks in at the wrong moment and the ghost takes her instead, leaving young Kyle alone, traumatised and accused of his mum's murder! A very effective scene that sets a creepy standard for the film that was sadly unrealised.

Caitlin (Emma Caulfield - who those of taste will know best as Anya from Buffy The Vampire Slayer), now an adult, is concerned for her young brother, Michael (Lee Cormie), who has not been able to sleep since losing his last baby tooth. Finally, she tracks down Kyle (Chaney Kley), now on medication and thought to be psychotic, to ask for help. But, can they stop the curse of The Tooth Fairy?

A very darkly lit film (due to the ghost being photosensitive) that relies solely on jump scares by using loud and creepy noises. While, it's nothing particularly innovative it has the feeling of a more traditional style haunting horror. However, the writing is just not engaging enough to fill in the scenes between jumps and the actors have to work extra hard to make the script work.

An issue I have is when a horror sets rules for the monster and then just blatantly breaks them when it's convenient to the plot. This film has a lot of moments that allow for the ghost to break her boundaries.

Generally not a great film, but it starts out quite well and has an interesting base concept.

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

"The Eye" (2008, David Moreau, Xavier Palud, Cruise/Wagner Productions, Vertigo Entertainment, Lionsgate Paramount Vantage) is the American remake of the original Chinese film from 2002.

Sydney (Jessica Alba) is a blind classical violinist. She undergoes a cornea transplant in order to restore her sight. The surgery is a complete success with one main drawback: she begins to see things.... Oh, and dead people, she also begins to see dead people.

Very reliant on jump scares, but they're pulled off quite well with sufficient overuse of the looking-through-the-peephole technique. It's also quite reminiscent of "The Sixth Sense" in style, but is not on par with the quality of story telling becoming bogged down in a stale plot.

What annoyed me the most, aside from the fact that her doctor (Alessandro Nivola) is a patronising arse for most of the film, is that she never once utters the words 'Grim Reaper' despite the fact that:

a) that is essentially what she's seeing and
b) that is a well known terminology and would have explained a lot more to the doctor than her descriptions did! No wonder they thought she was nuts! Geese!

Why is it that film and TV script writers always have to pretend like the protagonists have never heard of anything supernatural before? It's just like in every zombie movie ever where nobody ever goes "Well, fuck! That's a zombie! Quick, shoot it in the head!".

Sorry, rant over.

I did enjoy that one of the first things she buys upon regaining her sight is a flatscreen TV and also that "The Dresden Files" was on when she flicked through the channels. Good one, Lionsgate!

All in all, I found Jessica Alba to be a competent lead, which I was admittedly not expecting, and despite a drawn out plot, the film is watch-able and makes good use of the jump-scares.

Asian horrors as a whole are generally creepier and more effective. However, while this film doesn't add anything new to the American Remake bundle, it's certainly a scary movie you could introduce horror-keen young teens to! Average, but it could be an excellent sleepover movie, I reckon.

Monday, 1 July 2013

"Night of The Demons" (1988, Kevin S. Tenney, Republic Pictures, International Film Marketing) is a Halloween party favourite and a must have for any cheesy horror movie night!

A group of teens decide to have a Halloween party in an old abandoned mortuary. Goth outcast, Angela (Mimi Kinkade), who's throwing the party, believes that the place is possessed by demonic spirits and wouldn't you know it, she's right! Soon everyone's getting possessed or trying to escape while their possessed friends get all kinky and weird around them.

It's all just good fun and delivers everything promised: boobs (and more... Any Linnea Quigley fans will be happy), gore, demoniacally possessed teens and some Scooby Doo Style chase scenes!

Some really cracking physical effects allow for that sought after 'ewww!' moment, including an eye popping scene that is really nasty in the best kind of way!

If you're looking for originality you're in the wrong place, but it's certainly sheer 80s awesomeness not to be missed!

On Christmas Eve, a stranger calling himself "Mr. Nobody" (Val Kilmer) enters a police station and confesses to 6 murders that haven't happened yet.

Creepy and atmospheric I was pleasantly surprised, but it's admittedly a bit of a one trick pony and the effects aren't much to write home about.

Val Kilmer is the epitome of creepy, however, giving an excellent performance as our eerie antagonist.

A bit contrived in places, but quite a simple tale that's sole appeal is the moody, dark feeling. Although the film is terribly paced and begins to unravel slightly as time lapses.

A couple of random techniques such as slow motion action scenes get a little old after a while, and the fake rain effect is a unnatural looking. They also spent way too long showing flashbacks of the same situations unfolding again and again. I wasn't sure if they were trying to be symbolic, presumed the audience had short attention spans or whether they'd just ran out of plot to fill out the rest of the film, but it seemed to flog the dead horse a little.