Grief & Loss

8 1/2 week miscarriage :(

starfall wrote:

Hi ladies.

After a really difficult 2 months, I ended up having a miscarriage on Saturday morning. I am pretty sure that I passed everything after a couple hours of heavy cramping. Bleeding was light for the rest of the day after that. Yesterday and today I have mild to moderate cramping once in a while, and moderate to heavy bleeding. I am not filling pads, but am still dripping when I sit down to pee. Mornings seem worst, right after getting out of bed.

It's such a horrible thing to experience physically and emotionally. And what makes it even worse is how drawn out the process has been. And the lack of information on what to expect.

I guess right now I am wondering how much bleeding is normal, and for how long. I am going to be in touch with my GYN when they open this morning. I am honestly dreading the week.

I also find myself without people to talk to about this. With the exception of a very understanding SO, it seems like the one or two friends I actually told about my pregnancy and complications don't know what to say and have withdrawn from me all together.

I just feel so desperate for the physical part to be over so that I am finally able to take the time I need to fully deal with it mentally. :(

Very sorry for you loss. I'm going through the exact same thing right now except I should be 11 weeks today. The physical pain and emotional roller coaster is a heck of a ride that I wish on no one. This is actually my 11th loss (2 ectopic and 9 miscarriages). Every woman is different on the length of time that they bleed so it really depends on your body. I'm still heavy bleeding with clots so I have a feeling it will be awhile for me. The women on this board is very comforting and compassionate so you came to the right place to just get comfort, vent and anything else you need. I will be keeping you in my prayers and here to help you in anyway you need. Again, so so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs your way.

B

Baligirl

Oh hunni.... I'm so sorry for your loss :( I've just had my second miscarriage at 8 weeks.

My first was natural... I had intense pain for hours before I passed the sac, after that it was okay. Bleeding was heavy like that for about another 3-4 days. Then spotting for another 5 or so.

I passed my sac on Sunday, saw my dr on Monday. He did an internal scan to confirm I had passed everything. Still had some tissue so went back after the bleeding had stopped to confirm all was gone.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also miscarried at 8.5 weeks, from what I've read my experience doesn't sound completely typical (less pain, less blood) so I don't know how much help it will be to you. My bleeding didn't really soak through pads very fast and my pain was light to moderate cramping only. I never saw the sac (which I'm pretty upset about) and only passed one large item that I'm assuming was the placenta, the rest has been much more like a period, just with a greater volume of small stringy clots. By the 5th day of bleeding an ultrasound showed no visible signs of pregnancy left (just looked like I was about to start my period apparently). I'm on day 12 today and I'm barely marking a pad and when I wipe it's now mainly brown, old blood again. My HCG hasn't baselined yet, I go for another blood test on Wednesday, not sure yet if I'll need another scan. If you have any specific questions about what to expect, there are lots of people can answer here. What country are you in?

I was lucky (or should that be unlucky?!) to have a number of friends who've been through this. They are noticeably better at knowing what to say and what not to. I really feel for you not having good friends to talk to; I'm sure your friends will be doing their best, just know that there are many many of us here and you can always ask anything or vent as much as you need. We understand.

The first few days are the absolute worst, just do whatever you need to do to get through them. Take care xx

s

starfall

Thank you so much.

Lady, I am so sorry to hear that you have had 11 losses. This was our first pregnancy, and our first loss. It's the single most emotional thing I have been through, hands down, and I can't even imagine the heartbreak that would come with so many.

Our little bean was a fighter. I had been spotting since 5 weeks, and had shaky HCG tests the whole time. But we had an amazing ultrasound at 6+2, with perfect growth, and a heart rate of 131. About a week later we found out that growth had stopped, and the heart rate dropped to 91. So I have been going in weekly for ultrasounds ever since. It's been a lot of waiting, and hoping for a miracle, though I think we all knew deep down how it would end.

Honestly, knowing what was coming didn't help at all. Every time I had an ultrasound, I felt like I was hearing the news all over again for the first time. And now that the miscarriage has actually happened, I feel like I am an observer. Like it's not really happening, but instead maybe I am just having a really bad dream.

You will never forget your baby and the emotions that are attached to such a loss. To find the strength to go on and try again comes from within. I prayed for wisdom and comfort. I knew the losses was nothing I had done.

I also just quit trying. I had come to the point that the more I tried the more heartbreaking it became of disappointments. I had the 2 ectopic pregnancies 6 months apart and was seeing fertility doctors that wanted me to do IVF but was not promised with good outcomes. After praying and contemplating it I decided that I was done. That if it was meant for me to have a child God would bless me with a miracle baby. A year to the day of my second loss I found out I was pregnant with my son who is now 12 and full of life. This miscarriage marks my 9th since my sons birth. Though I don't understand it I still have my faith and I also know I will have all my babies to love on when I get to heaven. I guess with so many losses I have learned to cope better with the losses one at a time. I won't sugar coat it my first losses were devastating just as my other ones but I've learned to cope better with each loss.

But it's like I said. The strength will come from within when your ready to try again. Only you and your husband will know when that time is right. You will be scared and will worry until you feel more at ease the further long you become in your next pregnancy.

Loss is nothing new to me for I lost both my parents 3 months apart during one of my miscarriages. What doesn't break you down makes you stronger. I guess you can say I've become thicker skinned as well to what all life can throw your way.

You will never forget your baby and the emotions that are attached to such a loss. To find the strength to go on and try again comes from within. I prayed for wisdom and comfort. I knew the losses was nothing I had done.

I also just quit trying. I had come to the point that the more I tried the more heartbreaking it became of disappointments. I had the 2 ectopic pregnancies 6 months apart and was seeing fertility doctors that wanted me to do IVF but was not promised with good outcomes. After praying and contemplating it I decided that I was done. That if it was meant for me to have a child God would bless me with a miracle baby. A year to the day of my second loss I found out I was pregnant with my son who is now 12 and full of life. This miscarriage marks my 9th since my sons birth. Though I don't understand it I still have my faith and I also know I will have all my babies to love on when I get to heaven. I guess with so many losses I have learned to cope better with the losses one at a time. I won't sugar coat it my first losses were devastating just as my other ones but I've learned to cope better with each loss.

But it's like I said. The strength will come from within when your ready to try again. Only you and your husband will know when that time is right. You will be scared and will worry until you feel more at ease the further long you become in your next pregnancy.

Loss is nothing new to me for I lost both my parents 3 months apart during one of my miscarriages. What doesn't break you down makes you stronger. I guess you can say I've become thicker skinned as well to what all life can throw your way.

You will never forget your baby and the emotions that are attached to such a loss. To find the strength to go on and try again comes from within. I prayed for wisdom and comfort. I knew the losses was nothing I had done.

I also just quit trying. I had come to the point that the more I tried the more heartbreaking it became of disappointments. I had the 2 ectopic pregnancies 6 months apart and was seeing fertility doctors that wanted me to do IVF but was not promised with good outcomes. After praying and contemplating it I decided that I was done. That if it was meant for me to have a child God would bless me with a miracle baby. A year to the day of my second loss I found out I was pregnant with my son who is now 12 and full of life. This miscarriage marks my 9th since my sons birth. Though I don't understand it I still have my faith and I also know I will have all my babies to love on when I get to heaven. I guess with so many losses I have learned to cope better with the losses one at a time. I won't sugar coat it my first losses were devastating just as my other ones but I've learned to cope better with each loss.

But it's like I said. The strength will come from within when your ready to try again. Only you and your husband will know when that time is right. You will be scared and will worry until you feel more at ease the further long you become in your next pregnancy.

Loss is nothing new to me for I lost both my parents 3 months apart during one of my miscarriages. What doesn't break you down makes you stronger. I guess you can say I've become thicker skinned as well to what all life can throw your way.

You will never forget your baby and the emotions that are attached to such a loss. To find the strength to go on and try again comes from within. I prayed for wisdom and comfort. I knew the losses was nothing I had done.

I also just quit trying. I had come to the point that the more I tried the more heartbreaking it became of disappointments. I had the 2 ectopic pregnancies 6 months apart and was seeing fertility doctors that wanted me to do IVF but was not promised with good outcomes. After praying and contemplating it I decided that I was done. That if it was meant for me to have a child God would bless me with a miracle baby. A year to the day of my second loss I found out I was pregnant with my son who is now 12 and full of life. This miscarriage marks my 9th since my sons birth. Though I don't understand it I still have my faith and I also know I will have all my babies to love on when I get to heaven. I guess with so many losses I have learned to cope better with the losses one at a time. I won't sugar coat it my first losses were devastating just as my other ones but I've learned to cope better with each loss.

But it's like I said. The strength will come from within when your ready to try again. Only you and your husband will know when that time is right. You will be scared and will worry until you feel more at ease the further long you become in your next pregnancy.

Loss is nothing new to me for I lost both my parents 3 months apart during one of my miscarriages. What doesn't break you down makes you stronger. I guess you can say I've become thicker skinned as well to what all life can throw your way.

I am so sorry for your loss. :( and all of the painful us's you had to endure...

I just lost my first baby (first pregnancy) last Tuesday at 9w and found out that the baby had stopped growing at 6w. I am heartbroken. I do I feel connected in some way to you since our stories are similar. Feel free to email me at frazer.andrea@gmail.com

I am so sorry for your loss. :( and all of the painful us's you had to endure...

I just lost my first baby (first pregnancy) last Tuesday at 9w and found out that the baby had stopped growing at 6w. I am heartbroken. I do I feel connected in some way to you since our stories are similar. Feel free to email me at frazer.andrea@gmail.com

4

4GoodHealth

I am very sorry about your loss. I just went thru my 3rd mc in less than two years and it is definitely the most difficult thing I have had to go thru. I think all miscarriages are so different. All of us can give such varied experiences about our bleeding and how long it lasted. My natural mc lasted an entire month! I was absolutely exhausted by the time it was over. My d&c experiences (2) were easier physically.

It's good you will be talking with your doctor today. I can suggest even when you think the bleeding is over, keep pads with you because in all of mine....surprise....bleeding came back again for a bit.

Once again, I really am sorry. It was so helpful for me to come to this board and read all the posts and what everyone was sharing about. I wish you much better luck next time around.

p

pscalici

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my baby sometime between 7 weeks and 8. It's absolutely devastating. it felt unreal when the ER doctor told me my baby's heart had stopped beating. It hurts to even think about it.

People will come around. they just need the time to process what to do and to say. After sharing with a few people I found out so many people have been through this. you are not alone. We are here for you. anytime you need to talk about it. come here.

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