Card 1

Card 1

Your friend has been communicating with someone online for months, but they have never called or skyped with each other. They have only texted and shared pictures. Now, he wants to meet up with your friend somewhere alone at night.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 2

Card 2

You are at a party and think you are opening the door to the bathroom. Instead, it is a bedroom and you see a boy forcing himself onto a girl who looks passed out.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 3

Card 3

You are out to eat at your favorite restaurant. You go to the restroom to wash your hands before your meal comes. Inside the restroom, a transgender person is being told to go back to the bathroom where they belong.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 4

Card 4

A student volunteers to read in class. He stumbles with a few words and letters because of a disability. A group of kids in the classroom begins to make fun of him.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 5

Card 5

You (a minority) enter an upper class neighborhood and overhear the comment, “What are they doing here? They definitely do not belong here. Maybe we should call the police to be safe.”

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 6

Card 6

A student is expelled from school and then you notice that he is writing on his Facebook wall that he is going to hurt the teacher that got him expelled and blow up the school. You’re not sure if he is actually serious or not.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 7

Card 7

You are in history class. A disruptive student begins to yell derogatory slurs at your teacher.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 8

Card 8

John is telling jokes and is now dropping the n-word a lot. (John is white).

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 9

Card 9

You and a friend are at the mall. All of a sudden, there is a very loud bang from a nearby shop. You then hear people yelling and screaming. Your friend wants to go towards the screaming to find out what is going on.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 10

Card 10

The new kid is sitting alone in the cafeteria at lunch. You try to go and sit with him but your friend says, “Don’t. He’s gay. Everyone will think you are gay too if you sit with him.”

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 11

Card 11

A girl is shopping for her prom dress and random stranger yells, “Hey fatty, sure you shouldn’t be shopping in the XXXL section?”

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 12

Card 12

Your friend comes back to school after break and you see a bruise on her arm and her face. You ask what’s wrong and she says she fell down the stairs. She is not in school for the next week.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 13

Card 13

You are at a friend’s house for a sleep over. Your friend’s brother walks in and slaps your friend in the back of the head for leaving the front door open.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 14

Card 14

Your teacher has been out of school for a couple of days. You notice she is trying to cover up bruises on her arm when she returns.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 15

Card 15

You and your Mexican friend are hanging out at the mall and someone says “I bet he crossed the border to get here.” They say it loud enough so that you can both hear.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 16

Card 16

Someone is walking in the hallway next to you and then all of a sudden taps you on your behind, laughs and then walks away without saying anything else.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 17

Card 17

Your best friend has been cutting herself for weeks now. She made you promise that you would never tell anyone and said she would stop being your friend if you ever did. Her cutting has been getting really bad.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 18

Card 18

Your best friend is constantly making fun of a Muslim girl in your school because she wears a hijab.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 19

Card 19

A friend tells you that he is going to jump someone after school who has been giving him dirty looks. If he is involved in another fight, he will be expelled from school.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 20

Card 20

Your friend tells his parents that he is gay, but because of his family’s religion, they can’t accept it. His dad slaps him across the face.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 21

Card 21

You are in the school cafeteria and your male friend says that you should be making his sandwich for him because you are a girl.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 22

Card 22

Your friend is being cyber bullied by a group of teens that is also cyber bullying you. Your friend says that he/she wants to protect you and others from being their victim. Now, your friend is talking about bringing a weapon to school to put an end to the cyber bullying.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 23

Card 23

Your boyfriend/girlfriend is in trouble with the law for hurting someone in a fight last week and decides to runaway. Your girlfriend/boyfriend wants you to runaway with him/her.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 24

Card 24

You are at your friend’s house and their father comes home drunk, starts yelling and then hits your friend. You never saw him do anything like this before. Ten minutes later, he says that he’s sorry and that he had a really bad day at work. He also says that it will never happen again.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 25

Card 25

Your friend says an ignorant comment about immigrants in the United States and that Donald Trump needs to deport all undocumented residents. Your friend then tells you that he is thinking of reporting one of your classmate’s parents to ICE because they are illegal citizens.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 26

Card 26

All of your friends keep talking about a party they went to over the weekend. There is a rumor going around that at the party, a girl you all know may have been recorded being sexually assaulted after she had too much to drink.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 27

Card 27

Your friend has a black eye and a bruise on his arm when he comes back to school on Monday. He once told you that his mother physically abused him when he was younger. He had also mentioned the week before that he was afraid to bring home his report card because he had a few bad grades on it.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 28

Card 28

A student is being picked on during class and your teacher notices but doesn’t say anything. You want to confront the teacher, but you are scared of what might happen.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 29

Card 29

You are leaving the mall and see a girl being jumped by a group of four girls. She sees you and yells, “Please help me. I’m pregnant! Don’t let them hurt my baby!”

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 30

Card 30

During class, your teacher is joking with a particular student and takes it a little too far. The student becomes angry and stands up. He starts walking toward the teacher and it looks like he might get physical with the teacher.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 31

Card 31

A sophomore girl starts hearing rumors that a senior girl wants to fight her because the senior girl’s boyfriend is acting like he likes the sophomore girl. You see the two girls are now walking towards each other in the cafeteria.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

Card 32

Card 32

You’re at the movies and you see a mother slap their 6 year old child for crying and disturbing the other people in the movie theater. The mom raises her hand like she was going to slap her child again and the child holds his hands over his head.

What is your first reaction to the scenario in the card?

What happens when you put yourself into the shoes of the major character/supporting character in the scenario?

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

What does this card say about our community?

Lastly, what can people do to make changes? Please share some solutions.

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What are the goals of the CT YOUTH Forum?

The mission of the YF is to bring teenagers together through discussion and action while providing opportunities for growth and exploration. Each year, this youth-driven program empowers over 700 urban, suburban and rural youth through civil dialogue, service learning, and leadership development activities.

There are a few ground rules that all participating teenagers and adult facilitators agree to honor during YF events and discussions. Before each YOUTH Forum meeting starts, 10 students are selected to read the ten core values of the YOUTH Forum.

1. We value EVERYONE’s contribution.
2. We encourage others who are brave enough to speak up.
3. We respect those who choose to listen and not speak.
4. We listen with an open mind and full attention.
5. We ask questions of and respond to each other.
6. We are kind. So, say what you mean, but don’t say it mean!
7. We don’t put ourselves or others down.
8. We accept ourselves and each other for who we are.
9. We don’t gossip. Outside of here, we talk about what was discussed, but we don’t use names.
10. We learn from each other and know that learning can happen anytime and anywhere.
11. We connect and have fun!

This kit will help you lead a discussion on violence and cruelty that may concern you and your community. This “how to” manual guides you through, step-by-step, setting up a discussion, publicizing it, and managing it.

This kit can also be used during the Connecticut YOUTH Forum’s R.I.S.E. Above campaign.

The goal of RISE is for schools to feel safer and more secure, free of fear, and that learning will be made easier because of students being actively involved in violence prevention efforts.

Take the pledge today!

I pledge to • RESPECT everyone that I meet, and • INTERVENE whenever I can, to • SUPPORT those in need of my help, and • EMPOWER our school to end all forms of violence.

The Violence in Our Lives Project (VIOLP) is a project of The CT Forum, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization serving CT and beyond with live, unscripted panel discussions among renowned experts and celebrities, and the CT YOUTH Forum, an outreach program of The CT Forum.

Each year since 1993, the CT YOUTH Forum has empowered hundreds of diverse teenagers from dozens of schools with youth-driven programming that develops their purpose and voice.

In 2003, the CT YOUTH Forum developed a comprehensive discussion guide on the topic of “Cruelty and Violence in Our Lives” to engage people in important discussions and make our communities healthier, happier, safer and stronger.

In the face of increasing violence in our homes, schools and communities, they updated this invaluable discussion guide and used it to engage diverse groups of people in critical conversations, while providing students from diverse backgrounds with skills and experiences that supported their academic, personal, and professional achievement.

The VIOL Project spanned two years, from June 2013 to June 2015, and had three phases. The project engaged a core group of 40 students, who then expanded the program by recruiting more students who formed up school student teams.

With this site, it is our hope that many more group leaders and organizations will be able to bring people in their communities together for discussion.