Although the holiday season is supposed to bring joy and harmony to all, the many expectations that lay behind the seasonable events can cause us to feel overwhelmed. If you are in charge of hosting, entertaining, and preparing holiday season events, the pressure soon mounts up. If the holiday season has you tied up in knots, toss the guilt for not keeping up with all the expectations and start taking care of yourself to manage that stress and find ways to enjoy the holiday season.

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Steps

1

Notice the physical signs that you are suffering from stress. If you are trying to soldier on in the face of all too much events happening, it is important to recognize the signs so that you are able to heed them. Some of the physical signs to watch for include:

Exhaustion that cannot be fixed with a night's proper sleep. This could be result of not enough sleep mounting up over several months and finally hitting you with a whammy. You know the tasks on tasks you volunteer for have consequences, but you are not able to stop!

Lack of energy: You cannot face the thought of having to make Christmas dinner or buy Hanukkah gifts; decorating for Kwanzaa makes you want to go into a tailspin. All you want is to rest.

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2

Notice the mental signs that you are suffering from stress. Apart from having no energy to do things you normally do without batting a lash, you may be feeling irritable, pessimistic, or depressive. These are mental signs you are coping with too much stress.

Irritability: Everything irritates you, and you do not know why. Unfortunately, this means you've forgotten to see the charm of your life, and you've started imagining that work's getting harder and your kids more demanding, forgetting the joys and only seeing the hassles.

Lack of resilience: Your boss criticizes one small detail in the paper you have spent months getting ready to free up time for the holiday break. You fall apart, sobbing. She looks at you like you are from outer space, and you begin to think she has a point.

Poor memory: You have lost the list of Kris Kringle names somewhere, and you cannot find your Santa costume from last year. Loss of memory might be infuriating but it is also protective. It is a suggestion to slow down big time.

Negative feelings: You are already planning to be disappointed by Christmas dinner or the New Year's party. Every other year has been a washout, so this one will be too. Oh, why even try? you start to wonder. You are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Feeling down, feeling the blues, or depressed: An inability to shake off the blues is a warning sign that stressors are getting to you. This is one step removed from negative feelings, which will also accompany feeling down but may also involved feeling like giving up or even suicidal thoughts. You need immediate help.

3

Take a break. This time of year can fluster even the most unflappable. If you are responsible for the majority of holiday season preparations, you are under a lot of pressure. Despite the fun moments you sometimes share, it is likely that you are overloaded. If you have forgotten to take care of your own needs amid this, it is not surprising that you are feeling stressed. Some of the things you might benefit from include:

Blocking out several hours every few days for rest. This is you-time and it does not involve flipping through magazines planning Christmas lunch or New Year's Eve cocktails. This is time to shut your eyes and put your feet up. Do anything other than what is expected of you.

Treating yourself to a massage or a spa visit. Amid all the chaos, seek some serenity. (Men, you are allowed to go to the spa, too, although manicures or pedicures are strictly optional.)

Taking time out to chat with a friend or two. Share your ideas for making it through the holiday season with greater ease. You might even help one another with babysitting arrangements or sharing tasks.

Visit your place of worship or spiritual spot more often than usual. Take time to pray, meditate or sit in a state of silence and peace. Allow the peacefulness to wash over you and remember the spirit of the season.

4

Restore your sleep. It may be the holiday season but that is no reason for feeling as if you are a Grand Prix driver minus the fuel. It's a vicious cycle: the less you sleep, the more sleep you need; the more sleep you need, the less time you have to do what you feel you need to do.

Ensure that you have 7 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. If things are not done, they can be done tomorrow or not at all. Trying to juggle too many responsibilities will eventually crush your optimism as well as your ability to get them done.

Ask your significant other for help. Tap your husband, wife, or partner to help you, so you can catch more sleep. If you ask them in a kind, loving way, you are more than likely to meet with eagerness.

5

Eat well. Do not devastate your energy levels by starving yourself over the holiday season. Stay away from sugary, fatty, and unhealthy snacks that can take the place of healthier food. While it is fine to indulge on occasion, do not use the holidays as an excuse to stop eating well.

Changing the way you eat as a reaction to the stress of the holiday season might seem like a way to make you feel better, but this can lead to weight gain. This can cause more stress and hurl you into another vicious cycle.

Eat three healthy meals a day and keep most of your snacks healthy. Focus especially on vegetables and proteins. Indulging occasionally is fine.

Eating less? Some people respond to stress by not eating altogether. This is hard on the body as well, draining you of much-needed energy. Indeed, you might take in so few calories that you cannot maintain your energy during the day, which is not helpful to your health.

6

Watch your alcohol intake. Alcohol is often relied upon to ease stress during the holidays. One or two drinks a few times a week might be ideal. More than this can increase your stress, cause you to put on weight and can cloud your judgment, making things seem more negative and overwhelming than they are.

For events such as New Year's Eve, let yourself have a glass or two of the best wine or sparkling drinks instead of drinking to get drunk. You deserve the far better experience.

At the same time, let yourself unwind after a busy day. Have a glass of wine with dinner, or a hot toddy an hour or two before bed. If it helps you unwind, go for it.

7

Stop imagining that the holiday season is about being "perfect". A lot of stress you put yourself through comes from trying to match the perfect standard shown in magazines, TV, and other fanciful media. Perfection in images is an art form aimed at marketing, not a reality.

Don't pin your happiness on the success of your holidays. Your happiness should be bigger than just the holidays. Be thankful for the family that you do have, the opportunities you have been given, and the future you can look forward to. Put things into perspective.

Strive to perfect some duties and expectations, but don't expect perfection. Your polar bear cookies might be misshapen, and your chicken overcooked, but it is the thought that count.

This is where delegation is vital (see below); delegation means shared responsibility for how everything turns out. Seek out help where necessary. This means letting go of some of your control, which is a good thing.

8

Acknowledge feelings you have about the season. Not everyone enjoys the holiday season but it's rare for anyone to say it. For most, the truth is that there are the ideals behind the holiday season, and there are the realities, and rarely does the two meet. If you can accept your worries, concerns and feelings about the season, you are better placed to deal with them in advance and to set limits on what you will––and won't––tolerate.

Don't force yourself to feel happy, buoyant and carefree when you don't. It will only backfire and cause more stress. You are entitled to dislike aspects of the holiday season without stressing over them. Avoid becoming a Scrooge and ruin other people's fun.

Acknowledging feelings doesn't mean complaining or whining. These simply reinforce stressful feelings. Rather than complaining, acknowledge that some things are not enjoyable and set limits on being part of them, without beating yourself up over it.

9

Delegate. Delegation is an antidote to resentment and exhaustion, both of which add to the feelings of stress. Stock up on this antidote and make good use of it. The more you offload, the lighter the stress load and the more involved everyone else becomes. This includes work and home; work out tasks that you can delegate. Then, set about asking the relevant people to do their part.

Let go of your need to control everything. Maybe you're a perfectionist and only trust yourself to get things done the way you want them. In a perfect world, you could control everything. However, real life is sticky, and it involves trusting other people.

Things that can be delegated include: meal preparation, gift selection, gift-wrapping, transportation arrangements, work-fixes, and budgeting. Take up tasks you excel at and delegate tasks you don't.

10

Stop doing trivial things that sap your time and make you feel more stressed. Stop sending out all those Christmas cards, reduce the list of gifts you will give this year, avoid playing Martha Stewart when decorating your house. If you feel like taking part is about going through the motions or being seen to do the right thing, then you are doing it for the wrong reason.

Substitute. Instead of making that gingerbread house from scratch, buy the pre-made kit so that all you have to do is have the fun of decorating with your kids. Instead of making gifts from scratch, visit a community aid store that sells handmade items from people in developing countries who need your financial assistance to lead better lives.

11

Accept that sometimes family is not going to get along. Sometimes, while trying hard to get along, things blow up and make for an awful day. Negotiating difficult family relationships over the holiday season can cause a lot of stress, especially if you are trying to be the peacemaker who does not allow yourself to let off steam. Here are some ways around this:

Do not involve yourself in other people's spats. (Yes, that also means not gossiping like a little student again.)

Engage difficult people on neutral topics with accepting terms. Do not give them reasons to argue; do not join their arguments when they try to start them.

Understand that difficult people may have higher stress and anxiety levels than others. Their difficult behavior might be a display of underlying stress.

Humoring difficult people without belittling them. Refuse to play their usual games by remaining assertive and detached.

Do not ask the family troublemaker to your seasonal event. Not everyone will have the courage to do this but for those who do, it speaks volumes. Explain if they promise to behave, they can count themselves re-invited. If anything goes wrong, reassure that you will not hesitate to ask them to leave immediately.

12

Concentrate on your achievements during the holiday season. You could choose many negative aspects to attempt to flip to find what there is worth feeling good about. Make the holidays about recognizing your achievements instead of faults. Ask yourself:

What do you enjoy about your life this year? What can you learn from it?

What do you enjoy most or most excited about the holiday season?

Are you planning something this holiday season that you feel good about? How are you giving to others less fortunate?

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Tips

Say "no" to too many holiday season bookings, events, and parties. Attend events that matter or you enjoy.

Relieve stress when your emotions are out of control. People who stress have two different emotional states – happy and upset. While this may sound like a generalization, think about the last time you had something stressful happen to you. Though you may have felt as if it was a normal occurrence, how did you treat others? How were you around your family? When something went wrong, did you get angry or did you laugh it off? People with high levels of stress have difficult emotions, if not impossible to control. If this happens, those around them can become tense, which only adds to the stress levels in the room. Find stress relief methods if you are a person whom cannot control the ways of interacting.

Set a budget and stick to it. Much holiday season stress stems from money worries. If you have a limit, you remove the worry. Once you reach it, then live with the boundaries and be grateful that you have as much as you do. In particular, avoid impulse purchasing or purchasing to please others even though you cannot afford it.

Realize that you can feel stressed when you are not happy with your life. Review the general levels of stress that you have if you wake up each day unhappy. Chances are good that you cannot control your stress in a meaningful and consistent way, which is making everything seem more terrible than it is. Instead of simply giving up, look into techniques for stress relief. In finding ways to deal with your stress, you can begin to see the bright side of your life again. Your health can suffer when you are not happy, leading you to isolate yourself from your friends and family, which can only increase your levels of stress and anxiety. It is a cycle that needs to stop before it becomes a way of life.

Warnings

If you are feeling blue or down for more than two weeks, seek help from your doctor. You need to be sure that you are not suffering from a long-term illness such as depression.

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