New Year’s Resolution

New Year? In June? Yes, well, I’m being forced to think about where I am, where I’ll end up if I keep on my current direction, and whether that’s what I want. I fear change will come whether I’m ready for it or not so it seems prudent to make some New Financial Year Resolutions, to set the direction for the year ahead.

Change is one thing we can count on and yet we almost all of us resist change sometime or other. The more drastic the change the harder it is to force oneself to make it, usually.

Mary Ellen, in Torn, is forced to make a life changing journey. How will she cope with having to move away from everyone and everything she has always known and loved to a country and a life on the other side of the world with people she barely knows? Leaving behind what you know and love can be like tearing out your heart. Having to do all of that when your body is in a weakened state by starvation would only make it harder. When you have lost your family and friends in death by the same starvation would test the mettle of anyone.

Would going on be easy? Of course not. What would she be thinking, whether she wanted to or not? Would she sometimes feel guilty that she survived when her loved ones did not? Would she sometimes wish she had not lived to watch them die? Of course. She would sometimes wish she didn’t have to go on without them.

What could give her the strength to go on? How could she drag herself back from the edge of the abyss of self pity and depression? What would give her comfort in the harsh world she finds herself in? Would she willingly put herself in the position where she could lose everyone she has come to love all over again? How can she motivate herself to begin all over again?

Questions I’ve had to answer for Mary in my book and some of the questions we might sometimes have to ask ourselves in real life.