Overcoming BRM demons! Road to enjoying poker again. Hopefully!

As the title said this blog is to try and help me stay on the right track and help me to improve and think more about my game. I learned to play poker about 7 or 8 years ago while watching my dad play on FTP and by playing on Bebo. Me and my school mates would brag about having more chips than another. By the time i left school at 16 i stopped playing. Call of Duty was the new thing to brag over with mates. I didn't play for a couple of years and when i turned 18 i would play very occasionally online and even more occasionally at the casino. Then i got a Girlfriend and i played even less, maybe 2 or 3 times a year i would go to the casino.

In July i went to Vegas for my 21st and i fell in love with the game again. Walking into the Rio when the ME was on is an experience i will never forget and would love to have again. So when i got back i jumped on Stars deposited $50 and played MTT's. I cashed the Big $11 about 3 weeks later in 32nd for $330ish and thought i was unbeatable! Then i started to play MTT's upto about $33 buy in. CRAZY!! I did understand BRM but i just didn't care about it. Anyway i busted my roll quickly and began chasing my losses. Big Mistake!! Since July i have deposited (and lost) about $1200 of my own money - about 20% of my total income in that time. Fortunately i live with my parents so don't have any financial commitments apart from my car which is about $350 a month. I became aware of the fact that i would play a few MTT's a week with money i could afford to lose and hope for a big cash. I did try when i got back into poker to make a blog on here and do it correctly but that went out the window pretty quickly. Satties to sunday majors are where i lost most of my money.

On Saturday i had around $10 in my account so i opened up 3 cheap mtt's and a $2.50 180 man and managed to finish 2nd in a $3.30 6 max for $360 something. I then went to bed, woke up, went to work but when i got home i started playing some satties for the majors and a couple of the bigs and hots ($8.80, $33, $5.50, $16.50) and a couple of 180 mans ( $15 and $8). Lost $250 in one night. When i saw my balance afterwards i was disgusted with myself and it hit me that i need to get a grip, set some rules and develop my game otherwise how am i ever going to enjoy the game again?

Enough of the bad stuff. That's in the past and that IS where it will stay.

MTT's are too swingy and honestly too time consuming for the amount of time i get to play working 40 hours a week with a 2.5 hour round trip each day. My new plan is too play SH zoom with 0 MTT's for a long time. I'm going to try this with a pretty ambitous BRM plan. Move up with 25 BI for next limit, back down at 40 BI for previous limit. Stop/loss 5 BI. Reload table if stack reaches 1.5x BI (im way too spewy when i have a large stack). The one thing i am doing is allowing myself to play 1 BI at limit above what i am rolled for. I feel that this is a plan that should work for me and keep me pretty disciplined.

On to my game. If i was to rate my game on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being your avg micro grinder i would say im a 6/7. My mental game however is a 1 one day and a 10 the next. I think i definetly have what it takes to be a winning player in the micros but i do need to work alot on my game and even though i understand the math and use it in game situations i end up going with my gut anyway - this needs to change.

This all feels very negative. Is it all very negative ?

I have used my trial for both PT4 and HEM2 so my first goal is to make enough to buy one or the other. For analysis more than anything. I really want to improve my game and i am going to do all i can to do this! The only thing not going to be easy is finding the time. But i can do it! I will do it!

No tracking software so this blog will document both results and how i feel. Hopefully i can blow off some steam and the good guys here will help my stay focused and disciplined
I started with $128.56 last night. Played 609 hands at NL5. Finished with $132.18. Played today a little today and managed to spew 2 BI on NL5 in 590 hands
however with my 1 BI at higher limit i managed to play well and get a couple of nice pots
also managed to stick to my reloading the table at 1.5x BI which im proud of
Anyway started the day with $132.18 and finished with $163.20
Played 590 hands at 5nl and 784 at 10nl

It's going to be tough to stick to my plan but i will do it! New year, new mindset

Let's go!!

Have a good christmas guys and ill update this after my next session. probably Friday or Saturday

Welcome to the blogging section! You're definitely on the right track with applying a BRM. I see you've created your own game-plan as far as that is concerned, but thought I would post a couple of links just in case you are still working on it.

Tankroll BRM was introduced here back in September - it is an aggressive BRM strategy for experienced, hard working poker players looking to move up quickly.
The more traditional BRM strategies are also available to have a look at.

Hope everyone had a good Xmas! My gf got me on of these big remote helicopters and i have to say its a lot of fun feeling like a kid again at christmas. Even more fun trying to work the fucking thing and smashing it into to wall several times. But it still works and im still trying to learn how to use it.

Nothing at all poker related to say apart from seeing how ive managed to smash a very expensive toy into walls i few time i haven't yet given up! Im sure theres a lesson in there somewhere......

Played for 45 minutes or so there before i need to go pick my girlfriend up. Managed to get in 324 hands. Was pretty uneventful but managed to pick up about 1 BI
BR now a staggering $152.35. Registered for a $11 deadline satty tomorrow for the 5m GTD Sunday Million.
I just couldn't help myself

About 60% of the way towards NL10. Doing alot of work at the moment on constructing ranges and gameplan. Really feel as if i need PT4 or HM2 now for analysising my sessoins as i feel im making some mistakes that will be easy to find and stop!

Haven't played any poker for about 1 week now. Doing alot of hours at work to get some extra $$ since my car needs some repairs. Also means i had to withdraw my whole BR. Withdrew $140. $20 still in there. NL2 it is

First session of 2015 done
NL2 is crazy fun! Played pretty well overall made a few tough folds and a few very meh calls.

Funny of the session was when someone jammed 200ish bb into me on the river after i had flopped quads. He had AK on a 535 10 Q board. Glad i had the stack to take all his $$. Will go through my hands tomorrow and post a few of the interesting ones.

Originally posted by UPAY4DINNER
Was hoping for another MTT blog........

Best of luck with the Zoombies Scott!

If there comes a stage i have a BR that can handle MTT's and i can stop myself from playing the bigger buy ins then i may jump over at one point. Probably to the 180's though. Had decent success at them over a very small simple.

Enjoying ZOOM though. I've always played MTT's so its a refreshing change. I love being able to press sit out. Makes arguments with the other half about poker occur a lot less

Played a short session there but i think im going take a break after playing terrible. Maybe get a another short one again later but not really feeling it. Was calling people down with all sorts. Bluffing way to much for NL2 and opening far to wide.

Really pissed at myself today. Started up my usual 4 NL2 tables and within about 350 hands i had lost 4 stacks. I shut down my tables and thought for a little and i came to the conclusion that i just call down far too much(i only seem to do this at NL2 for some reason). I don't know if it's the gambler in me or if its the fact that i just want to see what villain has. Either way it's no good.

So decided to fire up 2 NL5 tables. Lost 1/2 stack in 160. Was up a stack then i got unlucky twice in 6 hands. QQ into KQ and then next i flopped 2p vs tp and the board runner runner paired
. Tilted me hugely. It really shouldn't have. But i was so pissed.

Then i done something stupid.

2 NL10 tables. I somehow played OK but i ran like god. Up 5 stacks in 250 hands then lost 140bb TT vs JJ on a 64856. Was all pretty standard. I managed to stop and go for food so i didn't tilt further. Came back and thought oh well im running hot so started a table of NL25. $35 up in 130 hands.

Thankfully i managed to take myself away. Im super annoyed i let myself lose control like this. It really could have blown my whole BR.
I seem to have like 10 BI swings every 1000 hands in NL2. NL2 graph -

I think im just going to be done with NL2. I'm rolled for NL5 anyway. 1 thing i have noticed is i seem to play my a game when there is some risk. And 2% of my BR doesn't feel like a risk. I play best i'd say when i have maybe 5% off my BR on a table. 20 BI brm it is. If i manage to move up and down i think ill be ok. Really need to sort out my mental game!

Have been looking forward to this next weekend for a while now as the 25/25 series rolls into Glasgow. Came in to work today to see that i havent got the time i requested off. Unfortunate but thats life. On the plus side it means i wont lose 3x more than my whole online br in one weekend and i may deposit the money i had for the tourny and be rolled for NL10.