Dentist Plans To Clone John Lennon From A Tooth And Raise Him As A Son

A CLEARLY bonkers Canadian dentist called Dr Michael Zuk has spoken of his not weird and distressing at all plans to clone dead Beatle John Lennon and raise him as a son.

See, he’s got DNA from the singer’s tooth and doesn’t see any weird moral implications of owning his own little Beatle, like he’s the evil empire in Star Wars, making a load of Jango Fetts.

Dr Zuk, who lives in Alberta, bought the wisdom tooth at an auction and sighs that the technology to clone Lennon is not currently available to him.

Thank Zuk for that.

He said, with regards to raising the little freak: “He would still be his exact duplicate but you know, hopefully keep him away from drugs and cigarettes, that kind of thing.”

“But you know, guitar lessons wouldn’t hurt anyone right?”

He’s not finished being mental though. Zuk also reckons that the clone could make a claim on Lennon’s estate, saying: “I don’t think I would be the one, you know, owning his property, he would have the rights when he was old enough to make er, make a claim.”

And might he make an army of John Lennons? He said: “Well, if it works once it’s going to work again, right?”

Someone invent a robot with a giant foot that follows Dr Zuk around for the rest of his life, kicking him up the arse every 20 seconds, just for being such a grating shitweasel.