The Art of Influence | Psychology Today

Say you’ve been nagging your sister to stop drinking for a long time. You might acknowledge that you’ve pressured her a lot in the past, and that you’re not going to do that anymore, because it is up to her if she wants to keep drinking.

Then at a later point, calmly ask your sister why she might want to stop. She’ll likely share some compelling reasons.

And then, ask her how ready she is to change and what she imagines the positive outcomes would be.

Finally, ask what the next step would be if she were to change. “The reasons she gives you might be the same ones you’ve been giving her all along,” Pantalon says. “But coming out of her mouth, they’re much more powerful.”