Tag Archives: marriage

Last Saturday, I accompanied my friend’s daughter to watch the movie, Trolls. Overall, I really had a super fun day. The movie was really entertaining. I basically spent most of my day with my friend’s daughter as she wanted us to do other things together after the movie. In short, we had a blast!

Anyway, you know with kids nowadays. They are very smart and they really ask a lot of questions – really good ones. The biggest question I had that day which was not only asked once during the whole time my friend’s daughter and I were together was, “Do you have a husband?” It started from the question of how old I was, etc. Then, “Do you have a husband?”

And of course when you say no, there is a follow up. “Why don’t you have a husband?” I get these questions from my friends and now the pressure is on even from the little ones. Haha! I just laughed so hard not expecting we would be having that kind of conversation. Kids!

It’s a question I am so used already of being asked and my other single friends too. And in all honesty, it doesn’t really bother me. I don’t mind at all. Someday, I might be giving a different answer. Who knows, right? But for the meantime, while my answer is still a no, I will continue living a life that will only pursue what is God’s best for me.

Beautifully waiting does not mean I will just sit at a corner, not doing anything. Beautifully waiting means going on with life without compromising God’s best for me. It means if choosing only His best entails being single for now, then I will trust and wait.

Do you feel that you are ALONE all the time? I believe no one wants to live alone. God has designed all of us to be with someone. Most of the time with our families. If not, with our friends or in a certain community we are part of.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

However, not all of us are blessed with good relationships. Some of us experienced being abandoned or being left by the people whom we thought would never give up on us. Or, some are just too busy that they could not make time anymore.

If you are one of those who feels like no one cares for you or no one loves you, I hope that today you will be assured that there is the GREATEST LOVE that is always available for you. EVEN BEFORE GOD CREATED YOU, HE ALREADY LOVED YOU. And that never changed. God will also bring you to relationships that are good for you if you are willing to trust Him on that. So, take heart!!! God’s love never runs out on you! ❤❤❤

For sure, just like me, you have those days that you just get reminded of how “so single” you are. You know, those days that you need to do a week of grocery and ended up buying just for two days because you realize no one is going to help you carry your stuff. Or that day when you want to just go out and have a nice, relaxing dinner and all your friends just could not go out with you. Or probably that day when you can’t stay late night at a friend’s party because you don’t feel safe to walk by yourself when you go home. These are the kind of days that you wish you have that constant person who will always be there for you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Being single, it’s normal to desire to be with someone.

However, you don’t have to sulk about it. As for me, those are just my passing moments. Those moments are great reminders as we are so used to being on our own and being independent that at times we forget we need other people.

As those are passing moments, we have better days to enjoy the life of being single. I believe one of the precious things that we single should really be grateful of is that we have all the TIME in the world. The BIG QUESTION is, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR TIME?

If you look back to the time that you started working up to now, how can you describe the quality of your life? Has it been better? Or, you feel like nothing has changed at all? It doesn’t matter how many years ago that was. Two years, five years, or ten years. Question is, did it change a bit? Did it get better a bit? Realistically, a year can pass by so fast and you felt like nothing has really happened in your life. Or, so many things happened in your life that it went by so fast.

As you think about your life today, you might want to ask yourself how much you valued the time that you have? Do you realize how blessed you are that you don’t need to ask permission from anyone on how you can use your time? If you feel like you haven’t really used your time so well for the past years, it’s never too late. Start setting goals for yourself on how you could improve in using your precious time.

Start with what do you want to do with your week. Of course, you go to work in your regular office hours. And you have to make sure you are finding ways to grow at your workplace. Learn new things each day. Always give your best regardless of circumstance. It’s the attitude, my friend.

After work, how do you want to spend the rest of the day? Have a good rest? Probably do exercise – go to the gym or go for a run or play a sport? Or, meet a friend you haven’t seen for a while? Or, read a good book. Do online classes. Or, cooking lessons. Do volunteer work.

How about your weekends? How does it look like? I hope you don’t spend the whole day just watching t.v. series or doing movie marathon. It’s okay to do it sometimes especially after a very tiring week but just don’t do it every weekend. Just imagine how many weekends you’ve wasted in your one year. Do something productive on your weekend that helps you grow as a person. Be involved in a church or community. Travel with friends and enjoy culture. Pursue a hobby that you can be passionate about – gardening, photography or anything that could also inspire other people.

Don’t waste time, my friend. Appreciate the time that you have right now. Imagine how much you can accomplish. And don’t be greedy with your time as well. Make time for people especially if there is a need. Remember, it’s not about how many things you have done with your time or how many places you have traveled or how many classes you have taken or how many people you have met, it is how much you have grown and improved as a person and how much you have blessed other people. Those are the defining moments of a time well-spent.

Be a good steward of your time. Remember, when you’re done being single, your time is not your own anymore.

Last 2014, I asked my friend, Xenia to share her God-written love story. It took me two years to be able to publish it here in the blog site, for some reason I don’t know. 🙂

But, it’s never too late to share a great story authored by God. Hope you enjoy a glimpse of Xenia’s journey.

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Written February 2014

Rockwell and I have only been married since August 24th of last year. We are still enjoying the honeymoon stage.

I met Rockwell during the March for Jesus 2000 worship event at Bacolod City. At that time, he was a complete stranger to me. I saw him holding a banner and dancing to the song “Mercy is falling like sweet spring rain”. It was like magnet. My heart fell in love with how his soul loved Jesus while dancing in the rain in front of over a hundred people proclaiming the worth of Jesus. At that moment, I couldn’t help but utter praise and prayer. My prayer was that I wanted to worship the Lord like he did.

Little did I know, I was prophesying him to be my future husband (haha). In college, he was president of the student government in Riverside and I was his secretary. But I never mentioned this fact to him—about that worship event, and the prayer and the hoping. I had a long term relationship during that time and even after college. The prayer that was spoken for him to be for me was forgotten because of the circumstances that happened that I thought I could not control. I took the wrong path when I came here to the States. I got influenced with the worldly lifestyle. God became the last of my priorities. Having a good career and the praises of people were the ones that mattered to me the most.

As I chose to live my life freely, I continued to sin and to forget God. I was making a black hole in the depth of my soul that none of the material, physical or emotional factor can satisfy. The more that I drew farther from the Lord, the more that my life became very meaningless and hopeless. I reached to the point of giving up. I realized that it was not the life that God intended me to have. The life that He promised me was a life that is full of hope and a future. God reminded me that all good gifts come from Him because He is my Dad. I did not deserve the second hand things that I chose to settle with. As He promised, I deserved the fullness of life. When I asked God to take my calloused heart and make it new, it was like He breathed new life to my desert soul and dry bones.

After 14 years, God finally honored my prayer during that rainy event, having a heart that was so raw and open. Rockwell came back into the picture after I sought God’s purpose for my life. I did not beautifully wait for him. But God still turned my wasted life to a beautiful story when He rescued me and I was able to find fullness and grace again in Him. Isn’t God amazing? He remembered every detail! He gave me the gift of a husband that I did not deserve.

Indeed, a life of worship and prayer is the key. God alone is good and faithful to His promises! He is full of mercy, grace and love for all of us. Our life should never be focused on the gifts that He gives us but our life should be all about who He is and His worth. How could a God still love us and still want us despite the things that we have done and will do which are not pleasing to Him? That’s our God!

Many are the plans in a man’s heart but only the will of God prevails.- Proverbs 19:21

It is not someone or our husband or wife that will complete us. The fullness of life can only be found in Jesus. I am blessed to have a husband whom I can see Jesus in him. It’s an opportunity for me to be able to love him with grace and mercy just like Jesus loves me. To be wired to Jesus, the Only Source of unconditional love, is how we are able to truly love someone unconditionally. I believe that we can never give what we do not have. To be an overflow of love, we need God’s love to overflow in our life.

Or, are you one of those “single beings” who will once again feel like an outcast on the 14th of February? That feeling when you can’t ask any of your girlfriends to hang out with you because they all have dates. That feeling when you see everyone posting in FB/Instagram photos of flowers and chocolates they received. That feeling when all of a sudden you just feel like eating out and you can’t find a place because you didn’t make reservation days before. If that’s how you had been feeling for the past years, it’s okay. Trust me, you are not alone in that boat.

I said it’s okay because I believe it is not about being insecure, jealous or bitter. It’s that feeling when you walk into a conference of doctors and you are a musician. It emphasizes what you are not. Not yet married, no kids – STILL SINGLE. And for sure, you get that feeling on other days too. Valentine’s day just adds more drama to it.

So, do you dwell or do you overcome?

If you choose to dwell on that feeling, make sure that it will not lead you to do something temporary just to make you feel better and will have consequences that you will regret in the future. If you choose to dwell and sink in your emotions, bring it all to the Lord. You can ask Him, you can cry out to Him, you can be desperate in His presence. You can be real to Him. He will not judge you with what you feel.

If you choose to overcome, make sure you don’t overcome it by being stone-hearted and hostile on people who celebrates relationship and marriage. If you choose to overcome, it is because you choose to trust on God’s timing for you. You choose to be grateful because being single also has its own blessings that you can enjoy.

So, whatever you decide to do on Feb. 14, I hope that you do it in LOVE.

I was recently introduced to a book that is for singles who are considering marriage. I’ve read so many books about waiting and about maximizing being single, but never a marriage book for singles. Thus, the first.

I’m glad I got a copy of the book. I got so many practical insights which gave me a new perspective about dating and marriage.

As the tag line of the book says, “It’s not about who you marry, but why.” I realized I got so focused on the kind of person I am hoping to marry someday but never really answered the question – WHY?

Unlike some women I know, when people asked me when I was younger what I wanted to be someday, I never thought about marriage or having my own family. However, you eventually reach to that point that you start thinking about it. Not just about being in a relationship and dating, but getting married and having a family.

I won’t reveal the content of the book, as I hope if you are single, would read it as well.

But I just want to share one important thing that took me back to the right foundation and thinking that the book highlighted.

Matthew 6:33 was set as the foundation as to the WHY you want to get married. It says, “But seek first God’s kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

I realized I’ve been seeking things that I thought God would want me to do or have but I forgot to seek Him first. With having this verse in mind, it helps me have the right perspective of “Why” do I want to get married.

There are times when I meet a single man or woman – successful, good looking, has a good character, has the right age for marriage, I would always ask myself, “Bakit kaya wala pa siyang asawa?” (with a big question mark). I just can’t find any reason why such person can’t be married yet.

Bakit nga ba? Bakit? Bakit?

Truth is, there is not one specific answer. If there is, I could have been married now and all my other single friends too.

Some could have their own reasons of why, some could have formulated their own ready answers just to easily deal with it, and some are still trying to figure it out.

But then I realize, the answer to the “Why” is something that we need to leave with God. Would we be able to handle if God would answer it? Instead, we should start asking God, “What?”

What should I be doing while I’m still single?

Do I have a balanced personal and work life?

Is my character displaying godly traits?

Is my mind perceiving the right thoughts?

Am I committed to my relationship with God, family and peers?

A lot of married couples say that being single is truly a blessing. It is a phase in life that should be maximized and not wasted on unnecessary things. However, this is something most singles fail to realize. Some are too focused in their careers and ambitions that they forgot about relationships. Or, some wanting to have all sorts of experiences that they jump from one relationship to another. Some are living the life the way they want it to be and just don’t care of the consequences. And some, clouded by their own insecurities, fears and failures that they just gave up trying to become better.

Until we start doing “What” God has intended us to do, we will continue to miss out the blessings of being single.

We just have to trust God that when the right time comes, just like when God brought Eve to Adam, God will also make it happen for us. Until God is not yet done with us being single, we will never be married.