About

i, Kunt - the autobiography of Kunt and the Gang

£30,325

pledged of £7,500 goal

1,069

backers

For those of you who have never heard of us before:
'i, Kunt' is the autobiography of the award-winning* comedy act Kunt and the Gang; the unique story of how a bloke from Essex rode the social media boom to make the transformation from Council odd job man into minor internet superstar (and nemesis of Enrique Iglesias).

For those of you who have heard of us before:It's me, Kunt here. What started with writing down a few of the more harrowing and grim stories from my touring years has ended up as a full-blown autobiography, taking in everything from the first day I heard the 'kunt' word, through the highs of my unlikely forays into the lower reaches of the UK charts and the lows of the Edinburgh Fringe 'cockgate' scandal, right up to the final gig.

"So why are you doing a crowd-funder, Kunt?" Well, I'll tell you. My dwindling pot of cash from the final tour has long since dwindled and I've been back painting and decorating for the last year. The book is so close to being finished but I'm struggling to find enough time or funds to get it printed and the audio book recorded properly. Hence, here I am, cap in hand asking you to kuntribute to the project and help me get it over the line.

For everyone:'i, Kunt' is an extraordinary tale about trying to stay true to your principles whilst dressed head to toe in hi-vis, pretending to cry and masturbate.

*the Malcolm Hardee 'Cunning Stunt' Award, i.e. not an award for being funny, or any good.

Risks and challenges

I think the main challenge if this project is successful is to get the books printed quickly and out to everyone in time for Christmas without falling foul of a light-fingered temporary seasonal Royal Mail recruit.

If the project is successful I will pull a sicky from any further decorating commitments until the new year to spend all my time ensuring rewards are fulfilled in plenty of time for Christmas.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £10 or more
About US$ 13

Lazy Listener

If you are too lazy or thick to read, this is the one for you.
Get an early doors copy of the 'i, Kunt' Audio Book, to be read by Kunt over a gruelling six day marathon in the constant, irritating presence of his ex-manager Mike.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £13 or more
About US$ 17

Pad Reader Plus

Get an early doors copy of the 'i, Kunt' e-Book.
300+ pages of humorous anecdotes and moaning about shit gigs.
Plus a new digital compilation of Kunt's minor internet hits, supplied as mp3s, to accompany the book.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £15 or more
About US$ 19

Lazy Listener Plus

If you work in a tedious production line job and want to escape for a day listening to a jaded old kunt complain about first world problems and social media then this is the one for you.
Get an early doors copy of the 'i, Kunt' Audio Book.
Plus a new digital compilation of Kunt's minor internet hits, supplied as mp3s, to complement your enjoyment of the book.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £25 or more
About $32

Bookworm Plus

A proper first edition limited book copy of 'i, Kunt' sent direct to you by Kunt the minute they arrive, with YOUR NAME in the'W*nks very much' section at the end.
Plus a new digital compilation of Kunt's minor internet hits, supplied as mp3s, to accompany the book.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £30 or more
About $39

Christmas Card Kunt

A proper first edition limited book copy of 'i, Kunt' signed with a message from Kunt and sent direct to you, with YOUR NAME in the'W*nks very much' section at the end.
Plus! Get on Kunt's Christmas card list with a specially designed limited edition of 100 Christmas Card signed personally to you.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £30 or more
About $39

Lazy Bookworm

A proper first edition limited book copy of 'i, Kunt' signed with a message from Kunt and sent direct to you the minute they arrive, with YOUR NAME in the'W*nks very much' section at the end.
Plus get an early doors copy of the 'i, Kunt' Audio Book, as read by Kunt himself.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £50 or more
About $64

Stylish Bookworm

A strictly limited edition of 100 #NoelForYewtree T-shirt in the size of your choosing, up to 3XL.
A proper first edition limited book copy of 'i, Kunt' signed with a message from Kunt and sent direct to you the minute they arrive, with YOUR NAME in the'W*nks very much' section at the end.
Plus get an early doors copy of the 'i, Kunt' Audio Book, as read by Kunt himself.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £75 or more
About $97

Handwritten Lyrics

The Kunt and the Gang song of your choosing written out in Kunt's own fair hand, signed with a little crudely drawn spunky cock and framed ready for Christmas. The ideal present for someone you don't want to see so much of next year.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £100 or more
About $129

Handjobby Bookworm

A framed set of handwritten lyrics written especially by Kunt for you, of a song of your choosing. Hell, if you don't want one of my songs, pick someone else's, not Michael Buble though, you've got to draw the line somewhere.

A proper, actual first edition paperback of Kunt's book 'i, Kunt', signed by Kunt. Plus your name, or a name of your choosing, in the 'Wanks very much section'.

Audio book of 'i, Kunt', as read by Kunt.

An early doors copy of the 'i, Kunt' e-book.

Mp3 Download of a new KATG hits compilation to complement the book.

Mp3 Download of a previously unreleased KATG gig recording, the New Cross date from the 2016 farewell tour.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £1,000 or more
About $1,287

Paint Your Lounge

Kunt will turn up with brushes and rollers and spend 8 hours (probably 8.30-4.30 with half hour for lunch) painting a room of your choosing (though not anything below ground level for damp/Fritzl reasons). You will be expected to have done any prep or rubbing down, and must supply paint, regular cups of tea, a selection of biscuits, and directions to the nearest chip shop.
Kunt will do his best to finish the job but will be up for skiving off for a chat and a sit down to regale you with anecdotes of his glory years so if it doesn't get finished don't say I didn't warn you.
Kunt reserves the right to bring Mike for back up if he thinks you look like you might be a mentalist
Sorry to go all Mariah Carey but this only applies to mainland UK as I'm not carting all my painting gear on a plane or ferry.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £3,000 or more
About US$ 3,895

Mystery Benefactor - Keep Me Going

You are highly successful philanthropic Kunt supporter or well known personality who needs a tax dodge and wants to discreetly support me for 3 months so I can create further stuff and not have to go back to painting and decorating for a while. In the unlikely event you actually exist, you can take your pick of the goodies or politely decline.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge £8,000
About US$ 10,387

Mystery Hater - You Can Stop Me

You hate me. You hate my songs. You hate my face. You hate everything I stand for. And you hate the fact I'm back. And that I'm quite enjoying being back. Well, here's your opportunity to make me stop. You have one week to stump up the readies and I will be gone for one whole year. The whole of 2019. No songs, no videos, no social media. Want me to stop? Make me!