14 Questions and Answers About Child Support

Updated: August 4, 2015

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From whether you’re eligible to how to apply, here's the information you need to maximize your child support benefits as a single parent.

Whether you just learned you’re expecting or you already have a child and are starting the divorce process, there’s plenty to consider as a single mom — and one issue that’s probably near the top of the list is child support. While it can seem overwhelming, there are plenty of resources at your disposal (some free, if you qualify) and the government is on your side. Here are the basics so you can start the process confidently and better able to focus on what matters most: taking care of yourself and your child.

What is child support, anyway?

Child support is court-ordered monthly payments made by a parent who lives apart from his or her minor child in order to support that child. Aside from a set amount for child-related expenses, it may also include providing medical insurance for the child if the child wouldn’t otherwise be covered. The goal of child support is never to “punish” one parent or the other, but to make sure the child gets to enjoy the same standard of living he’d have had if he was living with both parents.

Sometimes child support is confused with alimony or spousal support (both of which have nothing to do with any children involved). It’s not interchangeable with visitation rights, either — that’s an entirely separate legal issue from child support. In fact, a parent who has no visitation rights can still be legally required to pay child support.

Am I eligible to receive payments?

You are eligible to receive child support payments if you take care of your child the majority of the time.

What if we were never married?

You are entitled to receive child support from your child’s other parent if you’ve never been married.

Can I get child support without knowing the father?

Yes, you can get child support even if you’re not sure who the father of your baby is. Your local child support agency office can help you determine genetically who the father is, as well as locate him if needed.

How do I know what laws apply to me?

Child support laws are set by each individual state. The only federal law in this realm involves failure to pay, which is a criminal misdemeanor (which can result in garnished wages, withheld tax refunds, liens put on any property and even arrest).

Before you begin the process of seeking child support, you need to know what the laws are in the state where you live. If the parent you’re seeking support from lives in another state, the process will likely take longer than if you both lived in the same state — but it can absolutely be done. File your claim, and your state will work with the other state to institute a child support order. To see each state’s laws and models, visit ncsl.org/guideline-models-by-state enforcement.

How do I apply for child support?

There are two steps to obtaining child support:

Establish fatherhood legally. If the child's father acknowledges paternity, you're all set. Otherwise you'll need to have a genetic test involving your baby and the father (again, your local child support office can help).

Obtain a child support order. To do so you'll need to locate your local child support services office, which you can find here. Some states allow you to fill out an application for child support online; if not, you’ll have to go down to the office in person. You’ll need your child’s birth certificate, government photo ID and any information you have about the father. You don’t need to hire a lawyer to file an application, but you will if the other parent contests the terms.

Do I really need to apply for child support?

If the child’s other parent seems happy to pay support and the two of you get along great, it might be tempting to save yourself the trouble of officially filing. Don't. Circumstances can change at any time, for any number of reasons. So get the paperwork filed: You’re laying down parameters that will affect your child’s welfare for years to come, which can have lifelong repercussions.

How much will I receive?

The short answer: It depends. The state will take into account various factors, including each parent’s respective income and how much time the child spends with each. Of course, if you have more than one child to support, you will get higher payments. Each state is different, but almost all have an online calculator (search “online child support calculator” plus your state) to make it fairly simple to get a ballpark figure. For example, New York’s calculator is at nyc.gov/child-support-calculator.

One common misperception is that if parents have joint custody, then neither one has to pay support. That would only be the case if both of you earned the same income, and spent the exact same amount of time living with the child — which almost never happens.

How long are payments made?

Child support payments are made until the child reaches the age of majority (18 in most states). If the child reaches the age of majority before graduating high school, then payments continue until graduation.

Parents are often surprised to find out that college expenses are not normally included in an order of child support — but “post-secondary support,” as financial assistance beyond high school graduation is referred to, needs to be petitioned for separately.

Where can I find a lawyer?

The best resource for finding a qualified attorney specializing in child support issues is your network of friends and family. Start by asking neighbors and coworkers that you happen to know went through the process if they liked their attorney. If you belong to a single parents’ support group, ask around at the next meeting. Also check the court clerk at your county family court office. Many courts maintain a list of reputable local attorneys that regularly come to the court that they’ll offer to you for referrals.

What should I ask before hiring my lawyer?

Regardless of how you find your potential lawyer, it’s a smart idea to meet him or her first to be sure you’re both on the same page regarding approach and goals. Ask her to tell you:

Her experience with other clients with circumstances similar to yours.

How many cases has she handled? Won?

Do she require a retainer (a usually large advance payment you make to cover any fees or other expenses the lawyer may incur as he goes, somewhat like a down payment) or does she bill on a per-hour basis? How much for each?

What if I can’t afford to pay for a lawyer?

You may qualify for a court-appointed (aka pro bono) attorney, and there's no charge to you for their services. Whether or not you qualify depends on your income, and requirements vary by state. Check with your county family court for information.

What can I do if the court’s decision just isn’t fair?

You can file an appeal to have the decision reevaluated and possibly overturned in a higher court — though there’s a time limit to file an appeal, often 30 or 35 days after the decision is announced. But like so much else, this varies by state. Your lawyer will help guide you through the process — and if she doesn’t, don’t hesitate to find a new lawyer.

Once my child support is granted and I’m satisfied, what's next?

The court order will have a start date for the payments, and the other parent must abide by that date. Most child support orders enforce wage garnishment, meaning the appropriate amount will be taken out of each paycheck by the other parent’s employer, who sends the money to your state’s child support office. Then they will issue you the monthly check. If both parents are in agreement, though, it is possible to have the payments made another way. For example, the other parent may simply mail you a check.

It’s natural to worry that the child support process is going to be stressful and confusing. But try to stay positive: Unlike what we may see so often on TV, most of the time child support is granted uneventfully, and payments go smoothly. And if it doesn’t? You have plenty of resources at your disposal. The government is on your side, too: They want to make sure their youngest citizens are getting what they deserve.