I don't know what to do.

I bunked of school yesterday, because I couldnt face going in because I would have panic attacks, and get into severe depression. I just couldnt handle it one day. My school obviously found out and told my mum. She told me she can't handle me anymore and im a miserable prick. which really didnt help me ..

I don't even know why im depressed... nothing's happened, I guess it must of just been a conbination of events in my life. My parents are deciding punishments as we speak im stuck down here scared shitless, And She say's she thinks she might kick me out. I mean I know that's not the worst thing for some people, but im mentally unstable, and i've got no people skills, so I probably won't get a good job, and Im just really rubbish at everything, and Im not even over-doing it here.

Suicide is the logical thing here, I know a method, and Im really curious to find out what the other side is like either way. I might try living on the streets for a while see If I can cope but i know I wont be able to...... I mean my parents have done a lot for me, its just they dont get why im depressed and such a failure at school, my other brothers coped just fine so they compare me to them and then tell me im worse. its so fucking moronic.

Thing is, im a coward, and a bit weak, so i take this a bit harder then most people, i might not even be "SEVERELY" depressed, but It sure as hell feels like it. But the way I see it, i've got two options, get kicked out, or kill myself. I don't know if it was just a threat to kick me out, but either way I still have to go to school and it damages my mental health. I fucking can't do this anymore. Along with all this I'm taking my gcse's in a couple of weeks and I know hand on my heart Im not gonna get five A-C'S then, so They'll kick me out. I don't want to wait it out, I want to plan now.

Honestly, Falcon, the last thing you need to do is be out on the streets. It will only add to your stress. Even if you have to beg you must stay in the shelter of your home. I know how bad school can be. Its like a little more of my soul is sucked out of me ever time I step threw the doors of my school, and my parents have played the whole "were kicking you out" card so many times. You say your parents have done a lot for you, I don’t doubt that, and your very fortunate, but there not helping, especially with you being depressed. Comparing you with your brothers, and making you feel inferior to them is the last thing they should do. All that they are doing is kicking you when your down, but hold on just a little bit longer. Perhaps you should talk to them about how there words and behavior are affecting you. What grade are you in any way’s? I'm sure school will be over soon, but then again everyday at school can feel like a million years dragging on at a snails pace. Your parents remind me a lot of my own in fact. If you ever want to talk about this in depth just message me on msn, I’m always here to talk.