Contemplating the mysteries of life behind the wheel

— When you park your new car out in the middle of nowhere in a parking lot (to avoid door dings), why does someone always come and park beside you — even though all the neighbouring spaces are empty?

— Why do premium gasoline buyers have to use a blender-pump that dispenses regular, mid-grade and premium? Though paying for premium, you’ll often get some lesser grade gas left over in the hose and pump from the last user.

— Why do people drive to a gym, rather than walk or bike, and then park as close to the entrance as possible? Does exercise only count when it’s done on an exercise machine?

— Why do vehicle breakdowns always seem to happen when you’re out of town, it’s raining or snowing, it’s cold and dark, and it’s likely a long weekend as well (when all the repair shops are closed)?

— Why do drivers behind you get angry when you stop for an amber light, as required by law, instead of running it?

— Why is police tape, used at crime or collision scenes, always hung upside down? Toronto Police say they buy left-hand tape, which is cheaper, but most cops are right-handed. (Hint: unwrap it counter-clockwise with either hand and it’ll be right-side up.

— Why do some cyclists refuse to obey stop signs and stop lights?

— Why do some motorists refuse to share the road with cyclists and pedestrians?

— Why so some pedestrians insist on jaywalking and dashing in front of moving cars, rather than use a crosswalk or any intersection with signals? In any car/pedestrian crash, the pedestrian will lose.

— Out of all the cars on the road, why did that bird “bomb” yours?

— Why is the queue always “out the door” when I go to buy my licence sticker, yet it dissolves to nothing after I’m served?