my boys | November 6, 2011

My boys are doing so amazingly well,Robin may be on Jeremy Kyle this month as an inspirational child and the microcephaly awareness day was amazing such support shown.

My youngest still has problems walking his boots from the orthopedic at the hospital help a little the nightly physio on his feet and ankles are keeping his tendons supple his latest seizure meds which have been upped a little are fingers crossed working a little better so less seizures.The autistiuc part of him is a work in progress he is so bright,his nickname is Sheldon aka shelly bean (if you have seem big bang theory Sheldon character is so like him) the only issue that really seems to concern him at the moment and as a child who keeps on asking as once its on his mind he wont stop asking until he gets a suitable answer,it is at the moment grandad can I see him? my dad passed away after his battle with cancer and he comprehends in a childlike way he can’t see grandad as he is in heaven.He is aware he has a mom and a dad who both have parents so he has another grandad a paternal one.

conversation goes something like this…

I..Can I see grandad.

Myself..Grandad is in heaven you remember.

I..I know,I mean my dads one.

Myself..hmm I will have to talk to them or your dad about it.

I..ok phone them,they can come to my house.

Myself..ok son I will see what I can do.

This conversation then was continued and brought up regularly and small few day intervals.

I..send my picture to grandad

Myself..err which grandad?

I..the one who isnt dead,whats his name? does he look like daddy or me? does he have a moustache like your dad?

(after lots of questions about him I couldnt answer..)

Myself..ok I will write to daddy and ask him to answer your questions.

I..ok you can phone him at work.

myself..he might be busy.

I..he might not be.

After a couple of months of these questions and him getting frustrated by my lack of being able to answer his questions and his father ignoring his sons plea for his help filling in the gaps (via my phone call and letter explaining his son requires his help support or input on questions he asked) I decided to go to the organ grinder not the monkey.I wrote to the grandparents saying basically the questions their grandson is asking and if they would fill in the blanks and Offered if they wish to see him as never have or contacted to ask the offer still stands.

His dad was phoned by a Third party to say as he was not being a help towards his son I had gone via his parents and wrote to them,he was not happy.But desperate times call for desperate measures.I recieved a letter a few days later stating until the night before they didn’t know we existed as their son knowing the letter was coming dropped the bomb shell.Ugh I felt bad as 1: what if they are really old shock is no good. 2:why would a father be ashamed of a child not wanting to share him with family.

I am still non the wiser on any details for my sons questions as his grandmother said let the shock sink in and will decide what they want at not to build on expectations also had my motives for bringing this to their attention questioned?

ok yes shock I agree but four months on no decision! Yes decided what they want,but shouldn’t it be as a young child what the child needs not a whats going to effect them as what harm is sending a young boy a christmas card or a birthday card or a trip for an hours drive in a car to see sports day nativity play.

questioning my motives..Shouldn’t they question how come their son hid pregnancy and birth and childs life from them,how didn’t they notice any character mood swings I know if my children are lying upset worried etc Why their son felt scared guilty or ashamed to talk to them.yes maybe their christian attitude to having a child out of wedlock was a factor,but surely rejecting a child is a greater sin.