One year on: Sorry doesn't cut it

One year since then PM Julia Gillard delivered the forced adoption apology, ABC Open Separated contributors share how they feel.

On the 21st of March 2013, I attended the Apology to Victims of Forced Adoption in Canberra. Along with some 800 people whose lives were damaged by forced adoption, I applauded and cried when the then Prime Minister, Julia Gillard said:

You were given false assurances. You were forced to endure the coercion and brutality of practices that were unethical, dishonest and in many cases illegal.

Finally! An admission of the criminal aspects of Forced adoption! I was coerced into signing adoption papers whilst under the influence of heavy drugs administered at the hospital. I later learnt this was akin to kidnapping.

I felt a surge of hope, tempered by natural cynicism that any real help and/or compensation would be offered for a lifetime of separation, post traumatic stress, anxiety about the welfare of my child who was taken from me, the fruitless search for her for decades, and the dark shadow which hung over my life over her loss.

So, what has this first year anniversary of the apology meant to me and what changes has it brought?

My short answer is that the apology has made no difference to my life.

I’d like you to imagine your baby was kidnapped. For 30, 40 or 50 years you hear nothing. You search, but only run into brick walls. You are heartbroken. You are beside yourself worrying what happened to your baby. You have no-one to turn to for solace. You try to bury your grief and get on with your life.

Then, one day, there comes an apology. No collection of words alone can undo all this damage, Ms Gillard told hundreds who gathered for the formal event at Parliament House in Canberra. But, by saying sorry, we can correct the historical record.

So now the historical record has been corrected, please tell me…how do you feel?

Tony Abbott's speech the same day concluded with:

Ladies and gentlemen, it is an honour to be involved in today’s apology. I hope, I sincerely hope, that it can bring self-respect where there was shame, peace where there was anger, and reassurance where there was reproach. May it be a part of the healing process for our nation and for all of us.

Again, I ask you, would a mere apology eradicate anger if your child had been taken? Would you suddenly feel self respect? Would you be at peace? Would you feel reassured? My answer to these questions is a resounding “NO”.

I hear there will be some counselling for victims of forced adoption offered, but they will have to specifically ask for it, as it’s not publicly advertised.

This harks back to when my baby was taken and I was not informed, there was a small pension available at the time. No other mothers I’ve spoken to (over 100) were informed of this pension either.

A website will soon be available, which I have been asked to contribute to, without payment of course. Seems those of us who have done the research, created websites dealing with adoption issues, offered counselling for free and shared our art and music openly, will not be compensated in any way.

I’m left wondering if there will be any victim’s compensation for the loss of our children via criminal means? Or should we just be grateful for the word, “Sorry”.

I’m sure “Sorry” doesn’t quite cut it for many adoptees who were placed in stranger families either, never to know their true identities, their health backgrounds, their real family history and, for some, lifelong issues around alienation, self esteem and identity.

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Comments

Drew

Completely agree. I was adopted in 1970 in Sydney, and the records are incomplete as the hospitals and services of that time are closed or culled their files- probably straight after the birth... :/
I am 'told' it was not a forced adoption, and that I was "given up". Yet there is no documentation to back this up. Sorry Gillard, your apology meant nothing to me then, or now, and I not for one moment believe you were sincere. As for Abbott, I believe he could not care less, even with his own adoptive shenanigans that he was a party to. As I Euro-descended feller, (I think- though I don't know, I could have anything in my blood- which is a good things as that probably makes me a mongrel Aussie- the toughest sort... :D )I believe that it was a serious attempt on the part of the then .Gov to remove the lower class folks and hide them in with the nice middle-of-the-road middle class, similar to that experienced by the Aboriginal population of the time.
I too, do not know my history, or my family- all that has been taken and another narrative substituted. So, yeah, Apologies mean nothing. Just words. Back up with action and you might get some respect. Till then, no.

Catherine Marciniak

Dear Lina, thanks once again for generously sharing your reflections and feelings on this issue. I can only imagine what living with having your child taken away from means for the rest of your life. However your art and your words have given me some understanding of how deep the pain is. And I hope that such sharing means that the same tragic mistakes are not ever again condoned, or colluded in, by society.