Monday, March 10, 2008

Waiting for Spring...

Judi has a good friend who's a nurse in the neonatal ICU of a hospital in New Jersey. Mostly she cares for tiny, tiny newborns -- some no longer than a pencil -- but she also does the bereavement counseling, which, unfortunately, is often needed in her line of work.

Recently Judi sent her friend an email message discussing Judi's plan to put in a butterfly garden. She received this reply:

Judi, great to hear from you. I really haven't been on the computer.

Yeah, this weather is so teasing, because one day the air just tells you spring is coming and then bam!!!! Another reminder that Mother Nature still rules! Your butterflies will come, I'm sure. Work is busy, busy, busy. Oh, and I have a new little love -- his name is [redacted] and he's 1000 grams. This was a twin pregnancy but the other boy died in utero one week before this boy's early delivery. The parents have had several losses before and they are so grateful to have this baby survive. Mom has really been letting out a lot of her feelings, and so far she hasn't touched him yet. She's still talking about the baby that died, and she needs this extra time. After you hold a dead baby it takes awhile to let that go. She's so afraid to attach, but I'm hoping this weekend that will happen. I would love to put him in her arms for the first time, but little steps, that's all we can do. I just hope this kid makes it. He has so many more weeks to go, but the biggest thing is getting through March, then he'll be stronger.

Isn't it funny how we all are waiting for the magic of this Spring? All in our own way, we are holding on as each day passes for the time to come: You will see your butterflies, I will not bust my ass on the ice anymore this year, and, hopefully we can get this baby to grow into his mother's arms.