The Emmy For Creative Motorsports Press Releases Goes To...

Most racing teams take their press releases far too seriously. Thankfully, John Potter, through his Magnus Racing team, isn't one of them.

It doesn't take much effort to write bland or forgettable press releases, and as someone who wakes up each morning to dozens of missives awaiting my attention, I'd like to think I've become a connoisseur of this inane art form.

Take this gem, sent out on Wednesday that decrees the life changing benefits for active people who enjoy stock car racing and crunchy comforts foods:

"Kellogg's is a great partner of ours, and we are thrilled to feature Cheez-It on our racecar as well as in our stores," said the VP of Marketing for the team whose car will represent the brand.

"Cheez-It has always been one of our more popular salty snack items, and a hit for our customers that are always on the go."

Granted, there's nothing wrong with the release from a technical aspect, but its falls into the rather robotic must-write-press-release-that-says-nothing-and-is-instantly-forgettable category that most racing communiques fall into.

Then you get the other type, the dreaded my-guy-competed-in-a-race-and-didn't-come-close-to-winning-but-I-must-tell-you-about-it release.

"We need to make some finals and we need to win some races," said a drag racer last weekend. "All along, we've said that we want to be consistent and get to the semifinals at every race because that is the benchmark of a good team but we want more. We know how to win races and we need to do that more often."

That's three "needs" and two "wants" in a single paragraph, and not a single "did" or "will," which in my book, says saying nothing at all would have been a better choice.

All of this leads me to a pair of my favorite purveyors or motor racing creativity.

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Efrain Olivares, through his Shift Group firm, and Sean Heckman, with help from his merry band of malcontents at The Media Barons, have embraced the notion that when you have nothing positive or remarkable to say after a race weekend, sprinkle in a healthy dose of humor or absurdity and leave `em laughing.

If you're a fan of snarky fun, you might want to subscribe to their e-mail blasts.

Heckman & Co., with the full blessing from John Potter, comic genius and owner of the Magnus Racing Grand-AM Rolex GT Porsche team, did a brilliant job at making fun of their last-minute loss during Saturday's season finale at Lime Rock.

With Potter's co-driver Andy Lally in the lead with 120 seconds left in the event, the team was forced to pit to add a splash of fuel, surrendering the win to the rival Stevenson Motorsports outfit.

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Rather than pen a grumpy release about Magnus' misfortune, the `Barons dropped this hilarious piece in our inboxes:

"Magnus Racing Falls Short on 2012 Fuel Budget"

Headed in to Saturday's Grand-AM Rolex Sports Car Series season finale, the team at Magnus Racing had only one goal... stay on budget.

Looking to end their season on a high, Magnus Racing fell just short of victory due to a late race "budget issue" on race fuel.

Embarking on the 2012 season with a strict fuel budget of $12,000 to spend over the 13-race schedule, team strategists had just enough budget to go through the full season, provided Saturday's Championship Weekend in Lime Rock Park only lasted 157 laps.

Unfortunately, Saturday's event would last 159 laps.

"We agreed to spend $12,000 on fuel for the season," stated Team Owner and Co-Driver John Potter. "To complete this race, we would have had to spend $12,003.27. That's three dollars and twenty-seven cents over our budget. My bookkeepers cheered when we crossed the line in sixth. The crew was less enthusiastic for some reason, I'm still not sure why."

For Olivares, who handled Magnus' PR through 2011, setting a $25 bounty on a rival team and proclaiming "Powered by Chicken `n Waffles, Magnus Racing Finishes third in Long Beach" got the ball rolling.

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If you want more laughs from Heckman and Olivares, visit the news section at www.magnusracing.com where reports like "Seventh. Meh," "Ready to Fist Pump, Magnus Racing heads to New Jersey," "The Party Barge is derailed by a Prototype as Magnus Racing finishes Seventh in Sebring," and "Who Will Wear the Hamster Suit?" are PR gifts that keep on giving.

Oh, and don't ask about the Star Wars-themed "Rolex Wars" spoof the team did this year on the way to winning the Rolex 24 At Daytona...

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