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Forget pandas – ugly animals should be protected too

“The Canadian blue-grey taildropper slug is the colour of a Smurf, and if you scare it, its bum drops off”

(Image: Katherine Fee)

It’s time the gob-faced squid and taildropper slug got the attention they deserve, argues Simon Watt, creator of the Ugly Animal Preservation Society

Why did you decide to draw attention to less adorable endangered species?In my job as a science presenter, I get really bored when people only seem to care about charismatic big animals – the pandas and tigers. To my mind, that’s a bit dull when you think of all the other life out there. So I wanted to try and raise the profile of some of nature’s more aesthetically powerless creatures. Secondly, if you are interested in conservation, you are basically condemning yourself to be depressed. So the other aim was to try to make it funny.

What is the Ugly Animal Preservation Society?It is a comedy evening with a conservation twist. We have scientists who dabble in comedy and comedians who dabble in science. Each has to pick an endangered (and ugly) species, and has 10 minutes to champion it. At the end the audience votes, and the winner becomes the mascot of that regional branch of the society.

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What mascots do you have so far?In London it’s the proboscis monkey. In Edinburgh, the branch’s mascot is now the gob-faced squid.

What is the gob-faced squid?Its real name is Promachoteuthis sulcus. Until very recently it didn’t have a common name. We unofficially named it and it caught on. It looks like it has a human mouth in the middle of its body. It’s really creepy, freaky and a bit lopsided.

How do people choose which ugly animals to champion?It is often down to personal favourites. When we have people who don’t have a creature in mind, I give them a list of endangered animals that I think are particularly interesting – and particularly ugly. But some people already know exactly what they want to talk about. Comedian Dan Schreiber knew he wanted to champion the pubic louse. Believe it or not they are going extinct because so many women are having Brazilian waxes. We want people to go for something they can feel passionate about.

As you mentioned, conservation issues are often depressing. How do you keep it funny?The comedians take different approaches – some try to prove that their animal is not so ugly. Others admit, “They are hideous, but you know what, some days I wake up a bit rough myself!” But the main thing is that the information is so interesting. These are species people don’t know much about. It’s incredible when you learn that if you cut the arm off an axolotl it will grow back, or that they have only ever found one gob-faced squid.

What is your favourite ugly animal?I champion the Canadian blue-grey taildropper slug. It’s the colour of a Smurf, and if you scare it, its bum drops off. That’s its survival tactic.

What are your plans for the society?Eventually, after all of the regions pick a mascot, I hope to have a national one for the UK – to decide what is top of all the ugly animals. I’ve got nothing against pandas, much as I slag them off, but they have their champions. These ugly guys don’t.