Now that might sound like a set up to a horror movie just waiting to happen, but Hiram actually has a reason to send his teenage daughter off to a romp in the woods with her testosterone seething boyfriend and that’s because some of the top families from New York are about to pay him a visit to hash out details after Papa Poutine met his untimely demise a few weeks ago.

Of course, Archie and Veronica can’t go alone so they invite Jughead and Betty, who seem to be on solid ground again — at least until Cheryl Blossom decides to play a trump card she’s been holding for a few months now.

Back in Riverdale, Kevin finds out what his dad has been up to whenever he leaves the house late at night and there’s no police call for him to answer.

And finally, Cheryl finds a new friend in Toni Topaz before revealing a secret of her own that has been bubbling just underneath those ruby lips of hers.

With that said, let’s recap the latest episode of Riverdale titled Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Hills Have Eyes…

The Cabin in the Woods

It’s not everyday a parent suggests a weekend getaway for four teenagers unsupervised but that’s exactly what Hiram Lodge wants while he’s handling some business back in Riverdale. Before sending his daughter off to the cabin, Hiram pulls Archie to the side and imparts on him why he’s sending them away and how important it is to protect Veronica at all times. In fact, Hiram will be sending his personal driver Andre along with them, but he’ll hang back just far enough so he’s not seen. Archie will stay in contact with him, however, to ensure everybody is safe and sound.

At school, Archie and Veronica extend the invitation to Jughead and Betty as the foursome gets ready for a couples retreat. Cheryl attempts to invite herself but she quickly gets pushed to the side because this trip is for lovers only.

When Jughead goes to pick Betty up, he runs into Chic for the first time and he gets a very creepy vibe from the newest addition to the Cooper household. It seems ever since a drug dealer was murdered in the house, Chic has started to really feel at home and it’s not sitting well with Betty. To add to the misery, Chic figures out that Jughead knows about the murder and he throws a not so subtle threat by saying that telling anybody about it would be very bad news for Betty and Alice.

Meanwhile, Cheryl exacts her revenge once the four teenagers arrive at the cabin as she calls Jughead and informs him about the clandestine kiss shared by Archie and Betty during the Black Hood investigation. Remember, Archie came clean to Veronica but the same can’t be said for Betty.

Archie and Veronica head off for some along time in the sack, which allows Jughead and Betty to deal with this piece of news.

As it turns out, Jughead’s not all that angry about the kiss, more that Betty didn’t bother to tell him about it. Jughead used to be jealous of the relationship that Betty shared with Archie but he’s past it now. ‘Bughead’ quickly make up and plan for a great weekend ahead with their friends.

Of course, Jughead always has an ulterior motive up his sleeve — this time hoping to pump Veronica for information about her father’s business so he can continue digging into Hiram’s affairs as he attempts to eat up the entire southside for his So-Dale project. Betty keeps Jughead on a leash when his questions get a little too obvious and that’s when Veronica comes up with a plan for everybody to unwide.

The whole group jumps into the hot tub and while the tension is thick in the air thanks to Jughead’s suspicions about Veronica’s father, she reads it as problems stemming from the revelation about Archie and Betty’s kiss. Veronica’s solution?

She kisses Jughead just to even the playing field with what Archie and Betty did.

Later that night, Betty decides to ‘punish’ Jughead for kissing another girl when she busts out her ‘Dark Betty’ outfit while Archie pouts and turns Veronica away when she tries to go for round two in bed.

The next morning, Veronica goes outside to find Archie chopping wood when he receives a message on his phone and starts trotting out into the woods. Veronica gives chase and that’ when she runs into Archie talking to her father’s driver, who never left them alone as promised. To make matters worse, Archie knew that Andre was keeping tabs on them and she’s not happy.

Veronica decides to take Betty into town for a little shopping trip — complete with some unnecessary flirting with the store cashier — before heading back to the cabin where everybody makes up again. Sadly that’s a short lived truce after Jughead gets a call from his father, who reveals to him that Hiram Lodge bought their trailer park and paid off everybody’s debts.

While Archie, Veronica and even Betty take this as a gesture of good will, Jughead believes this is a plan from Hiram to buy the trailer park and eventually evict everybody inside so he can complete his plans to buy up the entire southside for his project.

Jughead finally gets someone on his side when Betty gets a call from her mother informing them that Hiram has also purchased the Riverdale Register from Hal Cooper. That means Hiram now has control of the only press in town and he owns the entire southside, which he’s been orchestrating for months even while in prison.

Betty lashes out at Veronica and Jughead does the same as the group is about to get splintered into four different directions when they are brought back together by a group of home invaders — complete with baseball bats and axes — ready to rob these rich kids of every penny they have.

Secrets and Lies

Back in Riverdale, Kevin is having a tough time after his pal Moose invites him to the movies — alongside his girlfriend Midge. See, Kevin and Moose know each other much more intimately but Moose is still buried in closet while Kevin is living out loud.

To make matters worse, Josie pulls Kevin aside and tells him about the affair his father and her mother have been having for months. Former Mayor McCoy says this is real love and she wants a life with Sheriff Keller and apparently he wants the same.

Unfortunately, Kevin is not happy considering his mother is overseas serving in the military while his father is cheating on her at home with the former mayor.

Of course, Josie later regrets revealing that secret in the matter that she did when she realizes just how deep the feelings go between her mother and the sheriff.

Meanwhile, Cheryl is still struggling with her mother, who is still prostituting herself to every man in town while lashing out at her at every turn after she ruined the one real relationship she had with Hal Cooper.

Cheryl ends up finding an unexpected friend when Toni Topaz comforts her in a moment of emotional vulnerability and she finally opens up about what’s creating so much turmoil inside. It seems when Cheryl was younger she had a girlfriend — not of the platonic kind — but after her mother busted the two of them in bed together, she forbade them from ever seeing each other again.

Ever since that time, Cheryl has kept her feelings about girls locked away but now she might have someone to share that with as she locks eyes with Toni.

Oh and let’s not forget the in your face promotion of the movie ‘Love Simon’, which is from ‘Riverdale’ executive producer Greg Berlanti. Everybody in town was apparently stoked to see this movie and the episode just clubbed you over the head with it time and time again. Nothing wrong with a little product placement but this was overkill.

Do Not Hesitate

Back at the cabin, Archie is gritting his teeth trying not to tackle the home invaders but Veronica keeps him calm while going to her room to get her purse to hand over to the robbers. There she presses a silent alarm button that alerts the authorities and shortly after a phone starts ringing, which spooks the burglars as Veronica tells them that they have maybe 30 seconds to get out of there before the cops arrive.

During the robbery, Veronica figures out that the lead person is the boy she flirted with at the store in town so now even his identity has been blown. Still he rips off the locket that she got from Archie as a Christmas present before they run away. That last move was too much for Archie, who is having flashbacks to the time he was frozen with fear when the Black Hood shot his father.

Archie bolts out of the cabin and chases down the lead robber when he pauses for a second before unleashing a beat down. At that moment, Andre shows up and tells Archie to go back to the house because he’s going to handle the home invaders. Just as Archie walks out of the woods, he hears a gunshot — Andre handled the home invaders.

Back in town, Archie and the gang make up after a rough end to their weekend. They all clasp hands like this is the new ‘Captain Planet’ while vowing to stick together.

Jughead takes Betty home but before leaving he offers her a warning about her creepy brother Chic while his voiceover warns that sometimes the scariest people invading our homes are the ones we let in voluntarily.

As for Archie, he visits with Hiram, who wonders if his new prodigy was rattled after figuring out that Andre shot and killed those home invaders. Instead of flinching, Archie says he wishes he had been the one to pull the trigger, especially after he hesitated to kill the Black Hood a few months ago. Hiram offers him a piece of advice — when it comes to protecting the ones you love, never hesitate.

Hiram hands Archie back the necklace that was stolen from Veronica as he takes one more step into the family business.

Riverdale returns for a brand new episode next Wednesday night at 8pm ET on the CW