Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce The Big Apple, a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.

One of the top sex jokes of all time is about the pickle factory worker who has an urge to put his penis in the pickle slicer. When he finally fulfills the urge, he gets fired. “What happened to the pickle slicer?” someone (his wife or his psychiatrist) asks. “Oh, she got fired, too,” the worker explains.

The joke has been cited in print since at least 1969. American stand-up comedian Ron White frequently gets credit for the joke, but he did not originate it.

Wikipedia: Ron WhiteRonald Dee “Ron’ Tater Salad” White (born December 18, 1956) is an American stand up comedian, U.S. presidential candidate, and actor, best known as a charter member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Nicknamed “Tater Salad”, he is the author of the book I Had the Right to Remain Silent But I Didn’t Have the Ability (Dutton 2006, ISBN 978-0-525-94961-9), which appeared on the New York Times best seller list.

11 August 1969, The Daily Standard (Sikeston, MO), pg. 2, cols. 4-5:
“For several weeks,” the distraught factory worker confided to his psychiatrist, “I as obsessed with the idea of putting my organ in the pickle slicer. The thought kept me awake nights. When I finally fell asleep, I would dream about it. I couldn’t work effectively. All I could do was stare at that pickle slicer and daydream. Finally, I couldn’t control my passion. During lunch hour yesterday, I stayed in the factory and fulfilled my passion.”

“My God!” gasped the psychiatrist. “What happened?”

“The foreman came back from lunch early,” said the worker, “saw what was going on and fired me on the spot.”

“What happened to the pickle slicer?”

“Of course,” the worker responded, “she was fired, too.”

Google Groups: rec.humor.funny
The Pickle slicer!
Thomas _. Longstaff
3/23/89
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis in the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he’d be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. “What’s wrong, Bill?” she asked.

“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, Bill, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“My God, Bill, what happened?”

“I got fired.”

“No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?”

“Oh,..... she got fired too.”

Google Groups: rec.humor
pickle slicer ...
Clifford B. Liem
7/31/91
There was this gay fellow, who had trouble finding work, so he finally settled for this job in a pickle factory on an assembly line. He got the job of putting the pickles in jars. Right next to him was a pickle slicer, and day in and day out he watched the slicer slice pickles. This went on for several weeks, when, one day there was no one around and he left his senses. He took off his pants and started to go nuts poking his dong into the pickle slicer. Wow, it was great.. But, his boss came in and saw what he was doing, so he was immediately fired.

The next day, his neighbour asked him why he didn’t go into work. He replied, “Oh, the boss caught me going at it with the pickle slicer, so I got fired.” His neighbour said, “Oh.. too bad. What became of the pickle slicer?” He replied, “Oh, he got fired too.”

One day this guy comes home from work, very early.
His wife questions him on his arriving home so early from work.
“I got fired,” the man replied.
“Why?” questioned his wife.
“Well, I got my pecker caught in the pickle slicer.” the man stated.
“What happen with the pickle slicer?” the wife asked.
“Oh, they fired her too.” the man replied.

Reddit
Pickle slicer
submitted December 14, 2012 by bcwhitty14
A guy comes home from his job at the pickle factory, and his wife can tell he’s got something on his mind. She sits him down and says, “Honey, you seem upset and not yourself. Is there something wrong at work? You can talk to me.” He lets out a long sigh, and says, “This is hard for me to say, and I know you won’t understand, but I have this overwhelming urge to stick my dick in the pickle slicer at work. I can’t stop thinking about it, and I’m worried that sooner or later I’m going to do it.” Taken aback, his wife pauses for a moment and says, “Ok, wow. I wasn’t expecting that. Of course you know that that would be a really terrible idea, right?” He agrees, the talk a little more and after a while, they let the matter slide. A few days later, he comes home from work in the middle of the afternoon. From his face, she can tell something bad has happened and she asks, “What happened? Why are you home so early?” He sheepishly looks at her and says, “I can’t believe it, but I finally gave into the temptation, and I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer.” Gasping, she asks, “So what happened?!” “I got fired.” “No, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer.” “She got fired too.”

Reddit
I got fired for sticking my dick in the pickle slicer at work.
submitted April 10, 2015 by Duke_of_Fritzburg
She got fired too.

Reddit
A man comes home to his wife from his job at a relish factory one day…
submitted May 30, 2016 by RiskyBrothers
He has a confused, lost look on his face, so his wife asks what’s wrong.
The man turns to her and says, “I’ve been having the strangest urge at work lately.”
His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks “What is it.”
The man sighs and says, “I keep wanting to put my dick in the pickle slicer.”
The woman stifles a laugh tells her husband not to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
A few weeks go by, and the man only wabts to put his penis in the pickle slicer more and more, so he goes to his manager, to ask for help, and the manager refers him to an occupational therapist and gives him some time off. Nothing helps though, the therapist refers him to a real psychologist, hoping that maybe they can cure this man’s affliction.
So one day the man comes home to his wife and says with a sigh, “Honey, I got fired today. I put my penis in the pickle slicer.”
She gasps, crying out “oh my god! You have to go to the hospital!”
The man looks up at her, “Oh no, I’m perfectly fine. I feel great, actually.”
His wife is now completely bewildered, “But, bu--your peni- and the pickle slicer!?”
The man shrugs, “Yeah, she got fired, too.”