Story 2Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show itto her. So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to hisgirlfriend. "This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian."Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored theaccelerator. The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into thelamp-post."Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see la! Wah Piang eh!"screamed AhBeng."Solee, solee, pai sah la! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing mah!"*

Story 3The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats. So the captainhad to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make roomfor women and children.To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came upwith the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped."

Story 5Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted theDJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti" (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buysbread). The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told themtore-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a bigfuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down.Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, manager found out that Ah Bengsactually asking for the song "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.

Story 6One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and want to getdown to the ground floor.As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number 2.It was then followed by a G.As they not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea what thethe letter G meant.Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit the "G" button.When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was soimpressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wah low!, how you know one?"The first Ah Lian replied smugly, "Easy la, G for Gero mah."

Story 7Santa Singh (remember him?) just graduated from Law school and decided toapply for a job in the most prestigious "Lee & Lee Law Firm".During the interview, Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh's resume,thinks fora while and said, "Well, I would need to discuss your application with mywife." And went off to discuss Santa's application with his wife. Lee KY's wifesaid, "C'mon, don't you know that we only hire lawyers with surnamesbeginning with 'Lee' only? Of course, we can't hire Santa Singh!" So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.Few days later, Santa Singh came back to the same company and request foranother interview and Lee KY said, 'Look Santa, I have already told youthat we only hire...' when Santa Singh interrupted him and said, 'I know, I know. I have justchanged my name.' Lee K Y looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked,"What is your new name then?"On this, Santa Singh replied, 'Surname Lee, Last name, Manga!' (Manga-Li)

Story 8A gas station was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a signsaying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."Soon a local guy pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his freesex.The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly,he would get his free sex.The guy then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. Thenumber was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."A week later, the same guy, along with a friend, pulled in for a fill-up.Again he asked for his free sex.The proprietor again gave him the same story and ask him to guess thecorrect number.The guy guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3.You were close, but no free sex thistime."As they were driving away, the guy said to his friend, "I think that gameis rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."His friend replied, "Noit ain't, rigged --- my wife won twice last week!!"

Story 9One day, there was an American, one Italian, a Singaporean and Bangladeshitravelling on a private helicopter.After about one hour traveling, the American took out his Cigarette(Dunhill) lighted it up and start smoking after two sip, he threw thebalance of the cigarette.The other three persons were surprised and asked, "Why didn't you finish-upthe cigarette before throwing?"He replied arrogantly "there is a lot of cigarette in my country".Half an hour later the Italian took a bottle of branded perfume and appliedit and the rest he throw out of thewindow.The other three persons were again taken by surprise and asked, "Why didyou throw away the perfume?"The Italian replied, "there is a lot of perfume in my country".The Singaporean did't know what to do & suddenly push that Bangladeshi outof the helicopter. The other two persons shouted crazily, "Why did you pushhim?"The Singaporean said slowly, "There is a lot of Bangladeshi in mycountry!".

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