For example, in this remarkable, true tear-jerker
about an "ordinary" guy named Gershon who somehow managed to embrace
globalization and exemplify selflessness while maintaining privacy.

A 3rd question for your dinner table:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements?

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.”
“My great concern is not whether you failed but if you are content with your failure.”
“That some achieve great success is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.”

OK, now let's put the two together. Instead of "happy", substitute your own emotional challenge:

"Most folks are as _______ as they make up their minds to be."

And then read the other 3 lines.

Now try out your new mantra every morning and once an hour. Try it for a week.

If I'm not for myself, why should anyone else be for me?
Yet if I'm only for myself, what value am I?
And what's my excuse not to start (having some self-esteem and start thinking beyond myself) right now?

Shabbat Shalom

PS - If you agree with those four quotes, you are in the company of Abe Lincoln.

PPS - Want to make your Table Talk rabbi happy? Like it, tweet it, or just forward it to someone who might enjoy it.

Cultivate optimism. -- People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.

Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. -- Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous. If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.

Develop strategies for coping. -- How you respond to the tough moments is what shapes your character. It can be hard to come up with creative solutions in the moment It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.

Increase flow experiences.
-- Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still. It's when
you're so focused on what you're doing that you become one with the
task. Action and awareness are merged. You're not hungry, sleepy, or
emotional. You're just completely engaged in the activity that you're
doing.

Savor life's joys. -- Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy.
When we neglect to appreciate, we rob the moment of its magic. It's the
simple things in life that can be the most rewarding if we remember to
fully experience them.

Commit to your goals.
-- Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes
fully-equipped with an ineffable force. Magical things start happening
when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get somewhere.
Counter-intuitively, having no option -- where you can't change your
mind -- subconsciously makes humans happier because they know part of
their purpose.

Practice spirituality. --
When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is
bigger than us. We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest
thing ever. It enables us to connect to the source of all creation and
embrace a connectedness with everything that exists.

Friday, October 11, 2013

In memory of HaRav Ovadia Yosef,
ztz'l. While he made occasional inflammatory remarks (sometimes
misquoted sometimes flat-out wrong), he was undeniably an historic figure, a meteoric scholar, a transcendent and yet utterly compassionate Jewish leader. To give you a small idea of his enormous impact, one in seven Israelis, including untold thousands of secular Jews,attended his funeral on Monday (and I assume that most of the others who couldn't possibly fit into the streets of Jerusalem listened to it on the radio).

Dedicated to Mom in honor of her birthday - Happy Birthday, Mom!

In response to last week's post, at least one reader actually wondered, "Is that really what Judaism says, or his he making that up?"

I assure you, Dear Reader, I don't make this stuff up.

Like the story I'm about to tell you. It's a true story, believe it or not.

But first, a question:

Who is greater: one who never sins, or one who does wrong but then comes clean?

Here's the story:

Dan is a guy who lives in a pretty average American town.

He's employed. He has money. He is not having trouble making ends meet.

Let me mention as well that he's a married man, with children.

He gives to his local Jewish Federation. People know him.

So
the other day he's shopping at a Whole Foods Market. He walks past the
bulk sugar cookie bin and feels a wormhole opening up, transporting him
back in time.

Suddenly Dan is a teenager again. He feels an
uncontrollable urge to do something risky. To do something illicit. To
do something wild.

He snatches and stuffs not one but two cookies into his mouth.

These are not free samples.

For the next sixty seconds, Dan's mouth is so full that he can't even speak when greeted by one of the staff.

Can you picture this?

Not exactly your poster-child for human greatness, is it?

So
the next day, Dan calls me to tell me about it. He's not proud. He is
very matter-of-fact: "I knew what I was doing was wrong, I was just a
kid again."

And the day after that, Dan is back in the store, insisting that the manager accept payment for the two cookies and apologizing.

True story.

Now I ask you again:

Who
is greater: someone who would never stoop so low? Or someone like Dan,
who does stoop low, but then comes clean, rights the wrong and
apologizes?

As I told Dan, there ain't no one who
never sinned, but the world is full of people who cannot - will not -
own up to their wrongs.

OK, if you read the actual verse, you might think it only means a poor
person. (And I suppose that those people who read it casually or don't know about Judaism's Oral Tradition can interpret it in many ways, such as this and this and this.)

But the rabbis teach that this mitzvah:

1. Applies to any sort of wage earner, poor, rich or even middle-class
2. Is fulfilled if and only if you pay them before the end of the day that payment is due
3. Is only a spiritually-meaningful act ("mitzvah") if you have in mind that you're doing a mitzvah
4. In addition to the obvious benefit to the worker, has two benefits to the one who is paying

Second question for your table: What are the two benefits to the employer (including, in this case, my son)?

Shabbat Shalom

PS: This discussion is based on the idea that the Torah's essence, its fundamental principles, can be summed up in three words. Know what they are?