A methed-up gas huffer reportedly told police that she was “The Karate Kid” before trying to bite them and getting tazed twice in South Carolina this week (you feel that breeze just now? That was the entire state of Florida breathing a collective sigh of relief). No word yet on whether she meant the original or the Jaden Smith remake.

Jail records show 40-year-old Tracey McSwain Smith was being held Tuesday on charges including third-degree assault and battery.

Deputies say Smith’s sister called authorities Sunday to get medical attention for her. When authorities asked Smith for her name, deputies say she held up her arms and one leg and said she was the “Karate Kid.” Deputies say Smith slapped a deputy, breaking her sunglasses, and tried to bite an officer on the arm.

Authorities say they shocked Smith with a Taser twice before she was handcuffed.

Smith told deputies she had used methamphetamine and huffed gasoline earlier Sunday. It wasn’t known if she had an attorney. [CBSCharlotte]

Excuse me, but biting is clearly a Krav Maga move. This woman doesn’t need a doctor, she needs a martial arts lesson. I also think it would’ve been funny if when the doctor he came, he just rubbed his palms together real fast and then put them on her thigh.

Anyway, don’t do drugs, kids. Or if you do, try not to hallucinate movie characters when the cops come, or else I’ll probably put your mugshot on FilmDrunk.

I see where she was coming from, y’know. Countering the twitchy high of the meth with the ethereal mellow of the gasoline was the right move. The only problem is when you need to try to play it straight, e.g. when the cops show up. Then you run the risks of the gas-induced and meth-tweaked hallucinations blowing your cover.

All said, in terms of just getting a load on: 8/10 with a bad dismount