When I was 16 my cousin came from LA. She grew up there. She came with her husband because they were newly married. When people come from abroad to the Caribbean, we roll out the red carpet, & are uber hospitable. For example my father doesn't keep alcohol in the house because of us. I think he drinks alcohol sometimes, I'm not sure up to this day. Anyway because my cousin & her husband were comming my parents made lots of food & bought liquor & alcohol to entertain them & guests.

While all the guests were having a ball ... I think some of the alcohol was finishing, I was asked to nip out to the corner store & get some more. This American guy was wandering about the premises, I guess he was in tourist mode. He asked me where I was going, so I unconciously said, "Do you want to come? I'm just going to the corner store" He got in my red jimny & we went to the store & came back in 10 mins or so.

His wife / my cousin, got furious with him oh boy did he get it! I felt so bad about all of it, but why? I didn't do anything wrong, right?

I don't see it as you did anything wrong. You were being hospitable and polite. I'd venture to guess that your cousin has jealousy issues.

You say that she is from LA and in this country, they come from the land of the beautiful people. That area of California is known for movie stars, models, millionaires and all things supposedly perfect. It's some sort of unwritten requirement in LA. It must be hard to mentally and physically compete day to day in that arena as there is always someone thinner, richer, younger and more beautiful looking to replace you the first chance they get.

But why on earth would a woman marry a man who she thinks is incapable of being left to his own devices for just 10 minutes? She must see him as some sort of wild animal she needs to train.

It's incredibly disrespectful to both him and Renata. And if she literally did call Renata a 'bitch'... that's unacceptable.

If I invited a partner of my sister, friend, cousin, etc. to go to the shop with me (to be honest, over here the man would be expected to accompany me to choose drinks for the men/carry them/to just be polite) and I came back to this reaction I'd think, 'wow, she's having some sort of mental breakdown'.

What was her husband's reaction to this? I think I'd get dumped on the spot if I treated my boyfriend like that, and rightly so.

BellaRuth wrote:But why on earth would a woman marry a man who she thinks is incapable of being left to his own devices for just 10 minutes? She must see him as some sort of wild animal she needs to train.

I don't have a solid answer for that. It's unfortunately not uncommon here.

BellaRuth wrote:It's incredibly disrespectful to both him and Renata. And if she literally did call Renata a 'bitch'... that's unacceptable.

I agree but it happens all the time. I'm more upset at the fact that she did it to a 16 year old. I don't know how old the cousin was at the time but calling a teenager a bitch is TOTALLY unacceptable.

BellaRuth wrote:If I invited a partner of my sister, friend, cousin, etc. to go to the shop with me (to be honest, over here the man would be expected to accompany me to choose drinks for the men/carry them/to just be polite) and I came back to this reaction I'd think, 'wow, she's having some sort of mental breakdown'.

This sort of thing is what makes me understand the feelings of the men on the men's board toward American women. I am an American woman and I can't understand this sort of behavior at all, how on earth are men supposed to understand it?

BellaRuth wrote:What was her husband's reaction to this? I think I'd get dumped on the spot if I treated my boyfriend like that, and rightly so.

BellaRuth wrote:NinjaPuppy, would you consider this to be a 'normal' response from an American woman?

I seriously can't even imagine it. It sounds literally insane.

No. I would certainly not call it 'normal'. Nor acceptable, polite, etc. However I am certainly not shocked. When we come across someone like this we mentally call them a psycho-bitch and deal with it according to our own psycho-bitch level.

Some if not most women would simply say "I'm sorry, I didn't know that this would upset you". Then quickly come up with some fake emergency excuse to get the hell out of there for the rest of her stay. Some women would get right in her face and say sternly and in a very loud voice, "I'm sorry, but exactly WTF is your problem?" Some women would say, "I'm sorry, but if you speak to me like that again in my house, I will shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll be shitting sneaker for a week!". OK, so maybe that last one is just me, but I originally come from the New York / New Jersey area and it's a tough place.

BellaRuth wrote:What was her husband's reaction to this? I think I'd get dumped on the spot if I treated my boyfriend like that, and rightly so.

He was very passive about it but they did argue a bit, I didn't stick around to hear what was said ... the guests were drinking heavily ... I was baffled at her reaction towards me ... then I though about it & was wondering if she was high & she though I went joy-riding with her hubby ... maybe she couldn't find him for hours or something. He was wondering around the premises, he was as far as the garage, which is detatched & on the other side of the house.