Long-Distance Dating: A SWOT Analysis

Long-distance dating seems impossible to some people (especially your grandparents who don’t know FaceTime exists), but it can be a beautiful thing when it’s done right. Since Valentine’s Day is approaching, I took some time to break the subject down with a SWOT analysis.

Strengths

Long-distance relationships are inherently more meaningful than (many) close-distance ones, because there are no games to be played; unlike with many close-distance relationships, people don’t get into long-distance relationships just to have fun or because they are lonely. When you are thousands of miles apart, the two of you have to be equally committed to make the relationship work.

When the only contact between you for weeks happens via mail, Skype, text message, Snapchat and phone calls, the words each of you have to say have a much higher value.

When you value communication so much, any disagreements or arguments are resolved much quicker, because you can’t just take a break from each other and then make up when you see each other the next day; you have to talk it out.

When you only get to kiss your human for a couple days a month (if you’re lucky), the relationship is obviously not centered around either person’s need for physical affection, so you know it’s real.

Because you get to see each other far less often than you could if you lived close, the time you spend together is not taken for granted like it can be with couples who see each other every day. When you finally get to hang out, you’re like, “LET’S DO ALL THE THINGS!”

You can still be social and spend quality time with your friends instead of being the couple who starts dating and shuts themselves off from the rest of the world; you are independent in your relationship.

When the only person you care to impress lives in another city, you can literally wear whatever you want; you don’t have to look presentable all the time.

Weaknesses

Obviously you miss each other a whole lot.

Even though you are in a healthy relationship, you still miss out on most double dates and couples’ activities with your friends who are in close-distance relationships.

You sometimes get jealous of couples you see who don’t realize how lucky they are.

Transportation to and from your favorite human is expensive; you could be using those bills for sweet dates.

When you want to give each other gifts/surprise each other, you have to wait at least a few days for the package to be mailed.

Some people might think you made your girlfriend/boyfriend up and that you’re just a Photoshop wizard.

Sometimes it feels like you’re always having to say goodbye.

Opportunities

When you live thousands of miles away from each other, there are a lot of opportunities to surprise your girlfriend/boyfriend. Just yesterday I surprised my girlfriend with a Valentine’s Day package; she was super excited.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend living in another city gives you the opportunity to make a lot of new friendships and connections in a different part of the country.

Similarly, the fact that your person lives in another city gives you a great reason to travel as often as you can to/with each other.

It’s much more acceptable to bring your girlfriend/boyfriend on your extravagant family vacation when you seldom get to spend time with both parties at the same time.

Threats

Because your girlfriend/boyfriend is a total babe, people might try to make advances toward her/him in your absence.

The lack of contact could make you lose sight of why you started dating each other in the first place, and if that happens, the relationship is in deep trouble.

The uncertainty of when the two of you will finally get to be in the same place permanently could cause stress and second-guessing, which could lead to instability in the relationship.