Pour, Express, Hope, Pursue, Examine, and Regard. Be blessed of the Lord. Forgive someone if not everyone, yourself, God. All poetry and lyrics are copyright protected under mjs productions. Please do not copy without expressed permission. Thank you.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Ultimate Freedom Under Proper Authority

Last night a young woman asked me for a way that she could get another chance to engage with this poem. She asked if it were online somewhere. As a result, I decided to post it and share it freely.

Be Blessed!

ULTIMATE FREEDOM UNDER PROPER AUTHORITYjenaevans 6/1/2006

Can I paint you a pictureCan I share a dreamAs vivid as a grove of daisies blowing nearA tiny stream… A pillar of rocks, sandstone or limeHanging high above head fixed in timeover the foot-beaten pathUnder a Sycamore TreeDown in the porous valleyNeath the stellar Autumn breezeWhere I take responsibility never given meMistaking it for authorityWhich I truly, truly need

I dare not under any circumstance reflectOn any aftermath and take into considerationThe other side this chance, this opportunity,This “do it” yes contentedlyCause we are both adults and pleased toDo as we do please of course…

I am not red-faced, pinned up, emotional rageBrimming over onto every page… There are buttons they have pushed insideI am not at liberty, no not me, to describeI seek to find relief, sweet relief, to blame, to shame what an unmitigated shameI am looking and searching every toss of the seaEvery swell of the breeze, every lower level tickerRunning cross the TV to find and know who the villain might be

I am reaction, the truth be known. I am educated and grown. I have stoodThe test of time. I have made it through just fine. So far I’ve comeAnd yet I’m still as angry as I was that day back then and I can’t quiteRemember when it first took me captive, entangled me, wedded me to misery.

I am coming to freely realize the truth… I am angry at me…I am the Bladerunner… the defective replicant… I am angry at me-I am angry at me… I am angry at youYou have become everyman to me, and I have become more of my choice to react in angerThan I ever imagined I could be…I have become more of my choice to react in disdain, in disgustThan to act as the agent of full blown self sacrificing love, help me Jesus

I can, I CAN do the work but I am walking perpetually woundedI am mad and enraged at the universe, at betrayal, at those who lashed outAt you opening your mouth…At you opening your mouth and telling me you loved me and showingThat love in so many, many amazingly disappointing, dis-satisfying ways…The truth is I am gaining momentumAnd I am coming for you Father Time, Mother Nature, you too Gravity,And ohh you… I can’t see you… I can’t see you either… But I know you are at work, dude

The truth is I don’t even know you… I can’t even fathom who created youAnd that is what ticks me off the most… It’s either you or me, now…One of us has got to die… the truth or the lieI stand gunning, opposing, resisting authority… Freeeeeeee Dumbbbbbb…..