Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Going Public

I've actually been spending a fair chunk of the morning thinking about the below quote and of Shauny's post.

So perhaps it deserves a post of my own...

I've not been at this game long enough to have blogger's depression, nor have I encountered any psychos who have nothing better to do then tell me how much I suck, but my issues do lie within the realm of whether or not to share my words.

I've thought long and hard about who I want to read my blog. Some of my friends know about it, others do not. I have a petite, intimate group of readers who stop by here from time to time, and to be quite honest, I kind of like the atomsphere in here.

Sort of like a quiet martini with friends.

I have no interest in attempting to garner praise for what I do in here. It's just for me. If you like it, ta. If not, suck eggs.

I'm just starting to get the hang of this, and to be honest, was even apprehensive about commenting on other's sites. I've been reading some of my favorite blogs for years, and it wasn't until recently that I stopped being one of those annoyingly voyeuristic stalkers, who takes but doesn't leave anything in return.

I'm still a bit weird about it - every comment that I lay down seems like it's only another trail for people to follow me home with. I haven't even made this blog public on the Blogger site. I want people to find it, but I don't want people to find it.

It's strange.

It's a strange thing to consider. How public to make your life. How much should you go out of your way to seek out like-minded people, and how much should you just wait. Wait and let them seek you out...

I have found great inspiration, comfort and laughter from the blogs that I read. In light of this, I think it's time to start giving something back. So, that being said...let's go public, shall we?

You know, I've fought the battle of how much to say time and time again. Often, I have something to vent or contemplate in my personal space that concerns someone I know reads the tree.

I feel cheated out of being able to say whatever I like. I mean, the entire point of starting my own blog was so it would be mine. I've created this situation, though. I went blabbering about, telling friends of the tree, and now they know.

Only a small handful of people who know me in real life know about the tree, and I've worked to keep it secret from all the others. On one hand, nothing on the web is secret; all one has to do is google for "chris ilias" to find me, number three.

I find that my blog is a special place for me, my internet friends, and those special people I share it with in person.

If I have somehting I don't want anyone to read, I don't publish it on the web: I write it in a private journal. Remember old fashioned ink and paper?