How Do You Deal With Republican Relatives During The Holidays?

I would like some advice from my DU friends on this topic because so far today, grandpa has gone on and on about how much President Obama has cut funding for the VA (I fact checked that claim and that is completely incorrect) and I can sense it will only get worse from both grandparents later on when some of my more liberal relatives arrive.

I'm thinking I should print out a picture of President Obama and the Electoral Map, so anytime they want to bring something up, I can just hold up both as a reminder who won the election. I can make my point without saying a word!

2. I'll be faced with that tomorrow morning.,.

at the family gathering with at least 2 teabaggers. (Life members of the NRA, doncha know). With all the family there, I have decided to avoid major confrontation, and bring just one zinger with me, to be inserted at the opportune moment, to wit:

The NRA represents less than 2% of the US population, and they certainly don't speak for me.

7. Do your grandparents make policy in Washington?

If they are not big-time K-street wheeler dealers then it doesn't matter in the least what they believe. They have at most one vote each. You will never change their minds because people's political beliefs have little to do with logic or reason.

Change the subject.
Share happy things you have in common.
Bake them some cookies.
Show them some cute grandchild pictures.
Talk about football.
Reminisce about memorable past Christmases, or other happy family events from the past.
Cut them some slack in their old age. Remember, they're pretty much irrelevant any more.
Mostly, just have a happy holiday gathering.

49. Good advice!

8. FUCK REPUBLICAN RELATIVES THEY'RE ALL EVIL SCUM

My wife anfd I haven't talked with her side of the family since 1980..they were all Reagan nuts and we got in a big fight..they have missed the birth and raising of two grand children and one great grand child

19. Who was at fault?

You sound very - loud.
I've found it usually takes two sides to blow up a family.
All you need is one good side to temper a room and any given situation.
Sounds like something other than politics here.

66. They brought it up and baited us

and I told them I would just as soon see you dead, than be a republican and meant it...all of life is politics...I learned that as a 3 year old when the US said we weren't in Vietnam and my father was there and got shot and died 4 years later because of that shooting. I didn't shout, didn't yell, just said it ina very low modulated. Not having to deal with relatives has definitely relieved us of a bunch of burdens and stress in our life. We can go where we want for Christmas and other holidays and be as close to friends and others as we want. Don't have to worry about pleasing either side of our in laws....

10. my thoughts

Ask him to tell you exactly what VA funding he has seen cut and how he has suffered as a result..Really force hiim to become specific,,,but dont expect much..

I try and try but have never once succeeded in changing anyone's mind on these issues and I spent my entire life in sales and advertising!

I have learned people believe things because they have a world view and when facts come into conflict with their world view..they usually reject the facts...especially if are not comfortable with challenging their old ideas.

If you can find the answer to your question, you should get the Nobel prize for psychology!

17. Why would you react with an Electoral map?

I avoid people that do things like that - from the left and right - at family holiday gatherings.
Initiated or as a reaction.
In fact, my aunt who is also progressive and a rw doesn't know better yet nephew, at this past Thanksgiving joined us mocking the people talking politics at our 30-member family gathering.
We won. I'm happy. All that matters.
I follow an old rule.
When you lose, say little.
When you win, say even less.

25. Adopt me.

Actually, I'm spending xmess alone this year. My parents both passed this year and remaining family are nearly all repukes, with all the accoutrements that accompany repukes: Loud, LOUD, argumentative, racist, antigay, "true christian™," etc.

I will spend the day remembering old days and thinking positively of those to come.

33. You will not be 'alone' this year, as you will be in our thoughts here on DU :) - n/t

34. I've been alone for xmess for many years now.

You eventually get used to it, and learn to actually like it, because you don't have all those mindless people around.
Think of it. You don't have to deal with the shopping crowds, or the meals with irate relatives.
You can sit home in your underwear, get bombed out of your mind, and do whatever you like.

45. Sorry to hear about your folks, xfundy. The first holidays are the hardest.

My folks are gone, too, and no siblings. Hubby in a nursing home with dementia, but I am going to friends & see him. I will spend tonight thinking of happier times too. Oh well, it could be worse--at least we won't have a President Romney or Senate Majority Leader Yertle the Turtlee to deal with! Take care.

26. Actually, they have to figure how to deal with me

27. My daughter is facing that tonight when her RWNJ

father and his current wife will be coming over for their Christmas visit. She's afraid he will bring up Newtown. She has decided to tell him that she doesn't want to talk about something so incredibly sad on an occasion that is supposed to be happy family time. I hope it works.

37. Sometimes I do a complete non sequitur answer and it throws them off of their game

RWR (right wing relative): "Obama is going to take all of our guns!!!"
Me: "I saw a HUGE caterpiller smoking a GIANT hookah on my front lawn, this morning!" Then I pour them more wine.
RWR: "HUH???? Err, Thanks."

Just throw them off of their game. The ones in my family really aren't all that quick, if you get my drift.

38. Do You Love Your Grandparents?

Do they love you? Are your political beliefs why they love you? Do you really care what they think? Do you love them any less because they are republicans? Political beliefs are only a part of what makes us up as people. Granted, I think that democratic principles tend to speak volumes about what kind of heart you might have, but at the end of the day, if you're unable to get past politics with your grandparents, you'll end up being sorry. (and so will they) Nobody is going to change anybody's minds over dinner. Life is too short. If they bring up politics, tell them you disagree, its not appropriate conversation for the holidays and move on to other more important things. Especially since your grandparents won't be around much longer. Trust me on that one. My parents drive me crazy with their political beliefs. They're still my parents and my kids' grandparents. It's not important enough to screw up the holiday. My dad knows enough not to bring things up anymore precisely because I told him what I'm telling you here.

62. Idk about anyone else but the family took care of that problem for me I was informed not to bother

63. Oddly enough, in our gathering a few hours ago... it was their

children and their cousins (now all either graduated from college or near college graduation) that spoke up. They didn't go political. They spoke from different perspectives about how their generation was paying attention, how social media awareness is changing business models, etc. As the conservative pair hunkered down... saying that most people they encountered through work viewed things this way, their kids were countering with the great divide of opinions between the generations, and the suggestion that older folks (55+) may still think that way... it is no longer representative of the broader public opinions.

The whole exchange was a completely new dynamic for our family gatherings. At least in my small speck of a blue area in a red state - 'The Times they are a-changing'

64. "Hi Dad! Merry Christmas! I brought you a pie." Seriously, who talks politics at Christmas?

Every time they bring it up direct the conversation back to an appropriate topic. If there are any small children around they'll inevitably be doing something adorable/naughty/adorably naughty and are perfect for this. Pets work on the same system.

If they don't get the hint a little "I don't get to spend enough time with you and I'd rather not waste it talking about politics" followed by a question about how some distant relation is doing ought to do the trick.

You're only encouraging this behavior with fact checking and visual aids. Do not engage. It's not the time. Period. Don't do it with people you agree with, either.

65. Just spent the evening with republican relatives including a tea bagger

Mostly we avoid politics, but the tea bagger enjoys running her mouth and says outrageous stupid crap. I either leave the room, roll my eyes, or both. But I don't engage. I refuse to get into an argument with a fool, and I know she is trying to push buttons. On some level, it's probably good to hear first hand what the nutcases are thinking, but it ain't pretty. In case you had any doubts, I can confirm that tea baggers are indeed bat s**t crazy.