Awareness is the key to noticing and appreciating the sacredness of life's expressions.
Life is your sacred temple.

June 2, 2010

Unpredictable Future Feelings

It's been around 90F in the house for several days due to a broken AC. It was a torture - constant sweating and drained energy. It exacerbated all other issues I've been dealing with prior to breakage.
Finally the AC was fixed. Last night I was lying in my bed and before falling asleep, I strongly appreciated the temperature. But I couldn't feel as much joy as I had wished. Why? The issues that were present were still gnawing at me. The situation of winning a lottery popped in my head and I asked myself if that's what usually happens after one wins. We wish for that so strongly and think that once we do, our problems will be solved and we'll be happy. Or will we? I can say that we might be happy-ER but not happy. We might be relieved or more comfortable but it's not really happiness itself. Problems won't go away, even though they might be ameliorated.
I was happier to have AC turned on. I was comfortable and relieved. But it didn't feel as grandiose as I expected although it didn't tamper with my appreciation.
Expecting how you might feel, provided certain circumstances, might not be so due to our faulty understanding of the causes of our issues. Life is simple, yet it's not.