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I was diagnosed less than 2 weeks ago. I found out I was positive on the same day my miscarriage was confirmed. My husband is also positive and has been for years. I probably should have been re-tested sooner but I guess fear of actually hearing it kept me away from it. My husband wants a child very much but since my diagnosis, I am not sure if it is such a good idea. None of my family know of my status nor do I intend to tell them. Not only do I worry about the possible affects on the child but if my family would find out simply because of a pregnancy. I know movies and TV aren't usually accurate but I have seen movies where patients with HIV have signs on their hospital room doors stating their status for all visitors or anyone passing down the hall. I can't imagine how outcasted I would feel by that.

I am still very new to this, though I feel like I have a little more information than the average person who was just diagnosed. My first appointment for the initial blood work is tomorrow. Thinking about all of that makes me physically ill. I am really nervous and I've been looking for information to ease my mind. I'm not sure if it's helping or hurting though.

I'm sorry. I started this as an intro to you ladies and it turned into more of a nervous rant. Anyway, hello to all of you. I hope to get to know you all very soon.

You are in the right place to rant, its all we do! My name is Cindy, I have been pos almost 14 years, age 37, and I have only been in these Forums 2 months. They have changed my life. Please know that you will always have a place to go to, here in the Forums with us, and we will be supportive of you.

There is so much information here, its unbelievable! Sit back and read for a bit until you feel more comfortable chiming in. There are threads on pregnancy, and the moderators can always answer any questions you have. zachysmom (Nicole) and cjc (Cristy) are both moms of little kids. Anything is possible.

I know you're overwhelmed with the miscarriage and a new diagnosis, but you will survive. You CAN live being HIV+. Don't be afraid, read read read, because knowledge is power, and no question is a stupid one. There are so many great people here, and the gay guys are a riot! There is a lot of humor in the Forums, and I think you will feel safe here.

Hello Confusedme. Welcome to the forums. I am Cristy aka cjc. I do have a small child(4 yo) but was negative when I had him. There are positive ladies here who have given birth to HIV- children. It is possible. I think that you should give yourself time to heal from your miscarriage. I had 2 and they were very hard on me. Mentally, more-so than physically but give yourself time to heal. Not sure what country you are in but here in the US, to my knowledge, they do not post your status anywhere that anyone other than healthcare workers can see it. There are a lot of great people here, check out the living with and the I just tested poz sections of the forums as well. We ladies have this forum for ladies matters. Hope to see more of you. Cristy

Hi Confused: Great to have another lady on these forums! Cin is right, this is one of the best places for information, support, just to get things off your chest. I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. Things are so much better today than they were even a few years back when it comes to HIV+ people wanting to have babies. I really doubt that the hospital would post a sign on your door like they used to do.

Just give yourself time to get used to your new diagnosis before thinking about things like telling your family, reproduction etc. I've been diagnosed + for 18 years and the self acceptance does come. I was terrified initially. Luckily I have a strong support system. These forums are a great place for support. I really hope to hear more from you. When you're ready.Peace-Betty

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hi Confused, glad you found this forum. My name is Nicki and I'm 23. Been poz 4 years and have a 1 1/2 year old negative daughter...so you dont have to loose hope of having children! Its not a joyous thing when someone new has to join us, but saying that, I am glad you are here and I look forward to talking to you!

hey I am new in the forums but old in terms of the virus. MY moms have diabetes and watching them sticking themselves all the time I believe I'd rather deal with this. I wouldn't have said that a few years ago, but it is manageable and the discrimination is not like it used to be. Still bad---but not as. You're still the same person. Please do inquire about reinfection from unprotected sex with your partner. With the virus constantly changing you can pass it back and forth and risk becoming sick. With you both being positive, it's a new ballgame. All the new info might come as a blur, but take in what you can and eventually it will make sense. You have many choices ahead of you, but things will be clearer when your blood work comes back. Hang in there, Lisa

Thanks for all your replies. I went to my appointment yesterday. I was so nervous I was sick and I cried a good bit of the time I was in the exam room. Overall, she seems to be a really caring doctor. Now goes the waiting game. In two weeks I will go back to see what my numbers are. Thanks to all of you for coming in to support me.

I remember well the craziness of the first two weeks post-diagnosis. To have that on top of a miscarriage would be a lot of grieving.

I'm sorry you're going through so much at one time.

You should not be concerned that your status will be posted outside your door should you be hospitalized in the future. To put your mind at ease, call the hospital and ask their policy so you can hear it directly from them.

Hospitals will often note serious comments about the patient that must be heeded as to care, movement, mask required, etc. Your chart, however, would contain the info and staff typically does everything possible to shield that info from non-med eyes.

I'm glad you've seen the doctor and hopefully, you'll get some numbers that will give you a little more time to adjust to your status.

It is good you are using this site to reach out to other women who are in the same situation with having HIV/AIDS. I have Been HIV + since 1993 and am still healthy. My counts are better now that I went back on my medications. cells 353 viral loan now undetectable. This disease is not an easy one and I cant say it gets easier, you just get more a customed to having it a part of your life. I pray your labs come back great. If you have to take meds please takes them as prescribed as I stopped and now have less medication options. There are good days and Bad days but you have us to talk with and some of us are long term survivors and some new such as yourself but we all have something to share with each other. I did tell my family and they have been a god send and my lifeline. Sometimes they don't get it, the things I might be feeling etc, but for the most part they are my rock. If you can share with them its such a burden that will be lifted, one less secret and more support for you as you walk this road. if they cant be supportive then you will know in your heart to share or not to share. But please find a friend, pastor, someone there local by you to share this with so you have someone in your corner to love and support you emotionally no matter what may come. Please keep writing and using this site. God bless you. Dawn.

Just to say welcome, you couldnt have found a better place. These guys have supported and put up with me for nearly two years now. The advice and knowledge here is second to none. I dont really need to add to what others have already said except to say that whatever you do/decide or say you wont be judged here.

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I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Sorry I have been MIA. I was starting to get a little overwhelmed by all the info here. I had to take a breather.

My labs came back. Cells are 400 and VL is 6500! I was very relieved. I have felt so much better since I got the numbers. Not sure why though.

Thanks to all of you for all the great messages you have left me. I have a few people in my life that know and will be there for me but sometimes things need to be said that you can't say to certain people...and sometimes people can't be reached. It's good to know that I can come here when I need to vent or cry. Another shoulder or 30 never hurt anyone.

Hi confusedme, so glad to hear from you on the blog. Your numbers sound good. Are they wanting to start you on any medications now? The sooner the better in my opinion, but then again its up to you what to and your doctor deside. keep us posted on h ow you are doing. from A serenity seeker.

Hi confusedme. Hope all is well with you. If you trust your doctor and you feel meds are not the way you want to go yet then you do what feels right for you. Its a hard road with the decisions we have to make but a good doctor and educating yourself will go a long way. God bless ya and take care. Dawn