Date: Tue, 01 Feb 2000 15:59:07 EST
From: That's The Way I Like It
Subject: gay/celebrity/boy-bands/changes Changes Chapters 29-30
Thanks again to anybody who has taken the time to write with your
thoughts on the story. I really appreciate it! I hope people who
don't write are also enjoying it and it's not just taking up space
on the internet that could be used for something more
earth-shattering. ;-) Stories on Nifty to take notice of if you
haven't: Studio in the Country, Forever and Some Kind of Bliss ...
WOW! Plot, dialogue AND a sense of humour. I hope I can at least
get a semblance of one of those three.
Please don't read if you are offended by gay sex. The usual
disclaimer applies. Have fun and remember, I would love any
feedback or criticism, good, bad or scathing. Take care! -- May
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Howie set his bags down in the driveway of his new Florida mansion,
squinting irritably at two cars he'd never seen before, one a luxury
sedan and the other some kind of high-end sport-utility vehicle, a
monstrous purple creature that gleamed like an African beetle. The
air was hot and damp, which was as relaxing and familiar to Howie as
a soothing washcloth on his brow. He was thrilled to be somewhere
warm for a change, and he made his way into the house, setting his
things down on the Spanish tiled floor of the entryway, an airy
creation filled with plants and natural light. "Maria? Are you
home? Anybody?" His voice echoed through the palatial home, but
there was no response. His cell phone rang and Howie sat down on a
leather couch and flipped it open. "Howie D." "Howie, it's Clive.
Are you home?" "I just got in. What do you need?" "Turn on MTV
now." "What? Wait, hold on..." "Howie, are you there? Is it on?"
"Jeez, I just walked in the door," Howie said irritably, "I've never
even seen this TV before, I don't know where the remote is. Here,
okay... What the hell is this?"
The news special went on for another ten minutes, talking about the
imminent demise of the Backstreet Boys. Clive filled Howie in on
what he'd missed. "Sources close to the Backstreet Boys have told us
that there will be no album at the end of their ill-fated European
tour... Rumours have chased the once-dominant pop group since their
reunion two months ago... An eyewitness account of a violent physical
confrontation... Weak performances and on-stage tension..." "Who the
hell was talking to the press about what happened between me and Nick?"
"We don't know, Howie. But the only people who were there that night
were you five, 'N Sync, and well, Dani and Misha." "Oh God," Howie
said, staring at the TV, "now they're talking to Nick." "We were
unable to make contact with any of the other Backstreet Boys," said
the chirpy voice over, "but we did catch up with Nick Carter, who is
doing a solo concert tonight in Madrid, Spain, right in the middle of
the Backstreet Boys tour of Europe." Nick looked exhausted; he had
bags under his eyes, a hat scrunched over his head, and a scarf around
his neck. "People have been saying we're going to break up for years
now," Nick was saying dully, "but it's never been true before and it's
not true now." "Is it true that you and Kevin Richardson are going to
form a new group together?" "What?" Nick looked baffled. "No, who
told you that?" The report finished with a smirking prediction that
the band was finished.
"Well, if you had called me before today, at the last minute, you
would have known that Aaron wasn't going to be there," Jane said
tersely, squeezing the phone up to her face with her shoulder as she
watered the plants on the Carter estate's patio. They had housekeepers
and professional gardeners to do that kind of thing, but Jane liked to
feel busy all the time. "There's a German group who's going to be
there. Didn't Clive tell you about it, I mean, he's handling the
show for you, after all." Nick twirled the phone cord around his
wrist, sitting on the plush carpeted floor of his hotel room in Madrid.
He had tried going out on the balcony to get some fresh air, but some
fans were staked out on the street and began screaming as soon as they
saw a blonde head. "I know you do things without thinking," Jane
continued. "We can change it," Nick said, "we'll get a lawyer and
we'll change it. I don't want to do the other show anyway. I'm so
tired, mom and I haven't been feeling good." "Honey, it's not my
business," Jane said coldly, "you haven't made it very easy for me by
cutting me off. I thought you wanted to do things with your family,
Nick. How am I supposed to arrange shows with you and Air and Leslie
when you go behind my back like this?" "Mom, I didn't mean to cut you
off, it doesn't, you still get your same percentage." "It changes
everything, Nick. It was your choice. Now, I have to go, sweetheart,
I have to get Angel at the airport. So good luck tonight." "Mom, I
just thought..." Nick sighed, taking the phone away from his mouth
as he tried to regain control of his emotions. Jane set down the
watering can and put a hand on her hip. It was hard to ignore her
son's sadness. "Nicky, I'm sorry," she said more tenderly. "But it
seems like the life you want to lead doesn't include your family. We
don't want to turn away from you." "I'm sorry, mom," Nick said
tearfully. "Your dad and I only ever wanted what was best for you,
and for you to achieve your dreams, baby. Haven't we been there for
you through everything?" Nick let tears run down his cheeks, choking
back the things that he really wanted to say. No, you weren't ...
you let me down when I needed you the most. You left me guessing,
wondering. I still wonder if you really love me, the person inside.
"Just tell everybody I love them and I miss them," he said finally.
"We all love you too, Nicky." The phone connection went dead and
Jane headed out to chauffeur another star in the making. Nick rested
his head on his knees, hugging his legs close to his body.
"This is so peaceful," Misha said, lying back on a blanket and gazing
at the bright sky overhead. Little wisps of clouds drifted by and the
boat rocked gently in the sparkling water. "Yeah, this is heaven,"
Brian said, sitting up and peering all around as he rested his arm
over the now-still motor. He thought that a couple of days on the
Riviera would be nice, since it wasn't too far out of the way and
nobody knew where they were. Unfortunately, everything about the
place was making him think about Nick, who was so passionate about
the ocean. "Hey," he said to Misha, "you'd better put some more sun
screen on. You're going to turn hot pink." "How tacky," Misha
laughed, and he sat up and fumbled around in their picnic basket for
the lotion. Brian sat beside him, the light tufts of hair on his legs
glinting with specks of sand. Everything smelled of salt and seaweed,
harsh and purifying. They both slathered on the sun block and lay
together on the blanket, giving each other little smooches and just
savouring the atmosphere. "Shouldn't one of us be watching where we
are?" Misha grinned. "I don't think we're going to drift too far
away," Brian said in his sweet drawl. "I think we'll know where
the shore is." "You know when I was little, I was always afraid to
go out far from the shore," Misha said. "We didn't live on the water
in Maine, but my great-aunt had a place near York Beach, and so we'd
go down there in the summer sometimes. I kinda stuck to the boardwalk,
though." "Hey well, I grew up in Kentucky," Brian laughed, "we didn't
get any ocean action. Water parks. We had water parks." "And you
probably liked the high dive?" "Nah, I'm not big on heights
actually," Brian said, smiling as he thought back to his childhood.
"But you're so athletic," Misha said, "so ... brawny." "Oh, please!"
Brian laughed. "Brawny?" "Okay, how about butch?" "Now you're just
bein' silly." "Well, did anybody ever call you queer when you were
little?" "No, I don't think so," Brian said, looking at Misha
quizzically. "I think I've proved my point," Misha said, looking up
at the sky again. Brian sighed; Misha had the ability of turning
the silliest and most innocent conversation into something deathly
serious.
"These are capers?" A.J. slid his shades down his nose and gave Dani
a very frightened look. She burst out laughing. "Yes, dear. Put
them in the basket. They don't bite. Hard." He chortled and
dropped the jar into the crate. They walked up and down the narrow
aisles of the old-fashioned grocery store, deep in the Orthodox Jewish
neighbourhood where Dani lived in New York, making purchases for an
authentic Italian dinner. She was enjoying being part of a couple with
A.J., but Dani had no idea how much A.J. was enjoying the pretense of
being just a guy named Alex, who was a friend of a girl named Dani,
who was buying food to make a nice dinner. He imagined living in the
City, maybe working at a radio station or something, just being an
ordinary person, not somebody whose every action was filmed and
analysed. A.J. picked out a very expensive bottle of red wine, which
got a raised eyebrow from Dani. "I usually go for Ernest and Julio,
but if you insist..." "It's on me, ma cherie," A.J. grinned. They
stood in the check-out line and Dani picked out a sports magazine.
"Leighanne is supposed to be in here," she said, flipping through
the pages. "Ah, yeah... Wow. Look at these pictures!" A.J. peered
over his glasses. "I think we should buy a copy," he said. "I
mean, in case she can't get it when she's in Europe." "Uh huh,"
Dani grinned.
"You guys don't know how important you are to me, all of you," Nick
said into the black void of the audience. It was more comfortable to
be on the stage, surrounded by darkness but keenly aware of the
emotional vibrations of the crowd around him, wishing for him to be
there, cherishing him, being at one with his every movement. Nick had
started his concert rather lifelessly, but the crowd willed him on to
give more and more of himself to them. The crowd cheered madly for his
every word, probably not even knowing what he was saying. "I love you
all," Nick said, putting a hand on his heart. "Yo te amo... You are
beautiful." He turned and gave a small signal to the band he'd only
been introduced to that evening, and they began to play his last
encore.
"Sing with me," Nick encouraged the audience, and they swayed together
and sang the words of the song he'd chosen, "Don't Want to Lose You
Now." The song sounded very different sung as a solo and not in five
part harmony, more wrenching and without the soaring hopefulness that
pervaded the Backstreet Boys version.
"Mr. Carter, this is Ariela." "She love you so much," Sergio's wife
and Ariela's mother told him gushingly in her strong Spanish accent.
"She kisses you every night, her picture." Nick had agreed to meet
another fan after the show as a special favour to one of the
organisers, whose ten year old daughter was wheelchair-bound. He had
toweled off and doused himself with cologne, since there wasn't time
to shower, changing into a comfortable long-sleeved shirt and jeans.
The girl cringed, sobbing. "Hey," Nick said, kneeling beside her and
taking her clammy little hand in his, "don't cry, sweetheart." The
girl's mother smoothed her hair back. "Shh, ijita, mira ..." She
translated Nick's words into Spanish and the girl managed to open her
eyes briefly. Her beautiful idol was a foot away from her face,
smiling at her kindly, but his eyes looked sad. "Nicky," the girl
gasped, "I... I love you more big... I ... I can't talk English..."
She began to cry again, too overwhelmed to think in a foreign language.
"It's okay," Nick laughed, squeezing her hand. "I can't talk Spanish!"
"We will take some photos," Sergio said, holding up a camera, "then
we have to let Nick go, okay Aria?" She nodded, blinking back fresh
tears. "You make her so happy," Sergio's wife told Nick, "when she
sees you, she don't remember how she is sick." "Wow," Nick sighed,
"well I'm just a regular person, you know." He gave the girl another
smile and squeezed up close to her for the pictures. She took in the
scent of him and tried to burn it into her memory forever. His soft
lips kissing her cheek, the richness and vastness of his blue eyes
gazing into her own. He was beyond human, he was everything she
wanted projected in one man's frame. When Ariela's wheelchair took
her body away from him, she sank back and shut her eyes, running away
with her dream Nick. The real Nick stood watching the sickly, stick-
figured little girl being taken away, woken up by his bodyguard
tapping him on the shoulder. "We'd better get out of here." "Yeah,
I'm ready. Did you get me what I needed?" "Sure did, you can have
yourself a hell of a party." "Good, I really need it right now."
Leo shrugged; what Nick really needed was a good night's sleep, but
he wasn't being paid for his opinion.
CHAPTER THIRTY
A.J. set down his glass of wine on the bedside table. "I love
your place, Dani," he said appreciatively. Everything about
the apartment seemed just right to him; the decor was sparse,
but well-chosen, little odds and ends that Dani had picked up
at yard sales and flea markets, but it was all of a certain
style, a sort of mismatched exotica. Dani slipped up behind
him and snuck her arms around A.J.'s little waist, resting her
head on his back. He'd been so sweet to her ever since Chartres,
acting as though he had nothing better to do than spend time
with her. Dani smiled to herself, but then she let A.J. go
and sat down on the bed. "Alex... what's on your mind? You
haven't even told me why we're here in New York." A.J. sat
beside her and swept her hair away from her neck, laying a soft
kiss in its place. Dani shivered. "It's not a good reason,"
he said in his raspy voice, "I don't want to think about it
tonight, if that's okay with you, baby." "You know I can't
even think straight when you call me that," Dani said, gazing
into A.J.'s eyes. "Thank you, Dani," A.J. said softly, "thank
you for letting me run away with you." He rubbed his lips
against hers, opening her mouth gently as he laid her back on
the bed, his hand caressing her stomach. Dani let herself get
lost in sensation. Her small breasts bore the pain of rapidly
hardening nipples, seeming to take over the rest of her body
as they grew, twisting up into sensitive peaks. A.J.'s lips
closed around one nipple and Dani moaned despite herself,
grabbing a handful of A.J.'s thick short hair. "That's too
good," she said, "Alex, no..." Alex released her nipple and
began to kiss his way down Dani's stomach as he massaged her
thighs, teasing his way around the crotch of her panties with
his big hands. Dani shut her eyes tightly, wanting his hard
cock in her more than she could have possibly imagined.
Howie was attempting to make himself something to eat when he
heard a car pull up outside. Maria got out of a white truck
and went around to the other side, talking to the driver. He
didn't have a good angle to see who it was, so Howie put down
his cutlery and walked around to the front entrance. The car
was driving away as he got there. "Howie," Maria said, setting
down her two big shopping bags. The look on her face was a
mixture of shock and dismay. "Hey," Howie smiled, "I thought
I'd come home and surprise you." He walked up to his wife and
hugged her tightly, kissing her on the lips. "Did you miss me?"
"Of course, I... Wow, you could have told me!" Maria shook
her head. "Who was that?" Howie asked, motioning at the driveway.
"Who ... Oh..." "Honey? Who was it? I didn't recognise the
car." "It was this friend of mine." "Who?" "Can we go inside,
honey? My feet hurt." "Sure..." Howie picked up the bags and
followed his wife inside. Something didn't feel right to him,
but he didn't want to accuse Maria of any wrongdoing because of
a feeling. After all, Howie told himself, he had been gone for
a while and things were bound to feel weird, weren't they?
Nick got out of the tub and sat in the bathroom, soaking in the
humid air and slathering himself with lotion, feeling dehydrated
to the core since it was so dry in Spain. He was coming off
the adrenaline rush of performing, and he basked in the blissful
sensation of the slow building orgasm he'd had in the jacuzzi. He
paid some loving attention to his own body for a change, admiring
how soft and clean his skin was, warm and fragrant with the scented
soap he'd used. But this physical pampering was only a momentary
diversion from the mental woes that were plaguing the 21 year old,
and so when Nick emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a
long-sleeved t-shirt and pajama pants, he went immediately to the
bottle of vodka he'd procured, as though it had him locked in a
tractor beam. His focus was disturbed by somebody knocking at the
door. It was almost two in the morning. "Who is it?" he asked
quietly. "Nick... It's Kevin."
Nick opened the door in shock and stood there dumbly. Kevin was
so out of place that it seemed like a dream. "What are you
doing here?" Kevin pushed the door shut and leaned back against
it, looking anxiously at Nick. "You did a good job tonight," he
said. "I was feeling it." The words were forced sounding, fake.
"You want a drink or something?" Nick asked, confused. "I see
you've already started," Kevin replied more easily, walking over
to a little round table laid out with alcohol. "You came here to
see my show?" "I came to see you," Kevin said, turning around
looking Nick more boldly in the face. "I'm going to use your
bathroom now, if you don't mind. I've been hanging around
waiting for you for a while." Kevin strode through the room and
shut himself in while Nick stood there, in a trance.
Dani slipped her shirt off and unfastened her bra, watching A.J.
intently as he sprawled out on her bed, his erect cock sticking
up like a flagpole. She stepped out of her moist underwear and
crawled over the bed and on top of A.J.'s firm, slender body, loving
the feel of their bare flesh meeting. "You're so wet, baby,"
A.J. purred in her ear as one of his thighs rubbed against Dani's
soaked cunt. "I need you so bad," Dani sighed. "Ride me," A.J.
whispered, loving how demanding she was being. "You're so hard,"
Dani sighed, grasping A.J.'s cock lovingly and rubbing it up
against his flat stomach. "I'm hard for you..." Dani knelt
over A.J. and he helped her ease the head of his dick into her
cunt. She sank back on his cock, feeling a bit of a dull aching
pain through her core as A.J.'s dick filled her, rubbing against
her sensitive cervix. "Ahh, God," Dani groaned, and A.J.
sighed, grabbing her hips in pleasure. He loved to be loud
during sex and it seemed he'd met his match. "You feel so good,
ahh, Alex!" Dani squeezed his dick rhythmically with her
cunt as he bounced her up and down, thrusting into her as hard
as he could. "Oh baby," he moaned, "oh girl..." "Yes! Ohh,
fuck, yes, yes!" Dani shuddered and screamed as she felt the
tingling heat of an intense orgasm overtake her senses, her
clit set off to an agony of pleasure against A.J.'s curving
cock. "Now it's Daddy's turn," A.J. grinned as he flipped her
over on to her back and slammed his cock back in, thrusting
deeper and faster as his own climax built. Dani clawed at
A.J.'s back and grabbed his ass with one hand, urging him on
to fuck her harder still. Her thighs and ass were sticky with
her own juices, and she felt an insistent trickle down her ass
and on to the bed. "I'm gonna cum, ahh, yes, uhh..." A.J.
made such a silly face as he came that Dani almost laughed,
burying her face on his shoulder as he slammed in to her
again, shooting his cum into her body as she gripped him with
her legs. "Oh fuck..." A.J. gasped, panting. "Alex..."
Dani laughed. "What baby..." "The earth moved." "What?"
"This bed used to be up against the wall..." They both
laughed out loud, seeing that they had moved a good two feet
into the centre of the room.
"Kev, are you okay in there?" Nick opened the door, tired of
waiting for Kevin to remerge and explain just why the hell he'd
followed him to Spain. Kevin was casually rinsing out a plastic
bag in the sink. "What's..." Nick stared at him, horrified. "I
just flushed the rest of it," Kevin said, tossing the bag down on
the counter. "You..." Nick gaped. "It's illegal," Kevin said
calmly, putting his hands on his hips and staring Nick down.
"I'm doing all of us a favour." "What the fuck?" Nick yelled
angrily. Kevin shoved past him and into the main room. It was
easier to fight about drugs than to talk about why he was
really there. Nick followed him and grabbed him by the shoulder.
"What the hell are you doing, Kevin? Who do you think you are,
telling me how to live my life?" "Nick, stop freaking out," Kevin
said. "You don't need that shit." "You think you're so fucking
perfect, don't you?" Nick asked, his face twisting with displeasure.
"You think you can push me around and tell me what to do... well
fuck you Kevin. I'm sick of it, okay? I'm sick of everybody
telling me what to do!" He shoved Kevin, who stumbled backwards,
grabbing at the couch to remain upright.
"Why did you come here?" Nick asked tearfully. "Why did you come,
just to fight with me, just to tell me I'm worthless, why?" "No,
I ..." Kevin covered his face with his hands. "I know you hate
me, Kevin," Nick said, his voice shaking. "I don't hate you, Nick!"
"You act like you do," Nick said accusingly. "You made me feel so
stupid... I can't change who I am, Kevin. I can't help it if I was
the youngest, and if I'm really different from you, that doesn't
mean you're better than me." "Nick, I'm sorry," Kevin said, sitting
on the couch. "I'm sorry if I hurt you by how I acted some times,
I didn't mean to..." "You broke us up, why Kevin? Why, were you
jealous of Brian? You wanted me and you couldn't have me..." "Shut
up," Kevin said, getting up angrily. "You called Brian a pervert
for being with me!" Nick yelled, poking Kevin in the chest. "You
made him feel like it was sick and wrong, because it was me! You
bastard! You're just old and jealous, you hurt anybody you can!"
Kevin was right in his face, fists up, and Nick shoved him away.
"Are you going to hit me, Kevin? You think I won't hit you back?
I know why you came here, because you think there is one person in
the world more pathetic than Kevin Richardson, and that person is
Nick Carter. Well, you got it wrong, asshole." There were tears
streaming down Nick's face and he stood there, breathless after
his little tirade.
"I came here..." Kevin stared at Nick, distracted momentarily
by how beautiful he looked, his face flushed, his expression
wild, his hair disheveled, so full of passion, "I came here
because I can't be away from you." Nick just stared back,
breathing hard but not coming up with any response. "Do you
know I'm going to be thirty in less than a month," Kevin said
softly. "Everything changes when I'm with you, when we're
alone together... It's like the normal rules stop applying."
"Kev," Nick sighed, sitting down again. Kevin sat down beside
him and stared at the blond. "You know when you fuck me, I
feel like you want to kill me." "Nick... No. God, no."
They sat there in silence. It sounded like the people next
door were watching TV and had the set turned up pretty loud.
Maybe they'd turned it up after hearing two people yelling
at each other in English. "Nicky, I don't know if we're good
for each other," Kevin said, trying to make eye contact with
him. "Don't pretend we have a relationship or something,"
Nick said softly, "because we don't. You fuck me and then
you leave. You're not my boyfriend." "I came here to be
with you," Kevin said, "we don't have to have sex." "Good,"
Nick replied, "because I'm really tired and my back hurts.
We have to stop fucking on the floor." Kevin slid over
beside him and toyed with the sleeve of Nick's shirt rather
meekly. "I'm sorry, Nicky. Your neck is all bruised too."
Nick nodded and stared off into space. "Nobody's ever done
that to me before," he said distractedly. "Come on," Kevin
said, "let's get in bed, and I'll give you a massage."
Nick followed Kevin into the bedroom and lay down. Kevin's
big, strong hands caressed Nick's body, working out the tightness
in the muscles around his spine and easing the cramps in his
shoulders. "There," Kevin said softly, rubbing Nick's back,
"you feel better?" "Mmm," Nick said drowsily, "much better..."
He turned around and cuddled up with Kevin, who hugged him
tightly and rested his head on top of Nick's. "Nicky, I'm
sorry for hurting you," Kevin said, his voice cracking a bit
with emotion. "I'm sorry about a lot of things." "It's okay,"
Nick mumbled. "You know, Nick, I decided to come here
because... I felt like if I didn't, I'd go crazy." Nick
snuggled up to Kevin's chest. "I'm glad you came," he said.
"Even though I flushed your drugs down the toilet?" Kevin
laughed. "Uh huh." Kevin stroked Nick's hair, realising
that he was half-asleep. "I took a big risk coming here,"
Kevin said, "I don't know if you know that." "Hmm." "Like
when I moved to Orlando, like when I quit my job and signed
with Lou." He toyed with Nick's hair again, it was so thick
and smooth, he loved it. "We're both lonely," Nick said
quietly. Kevin was surprised; he thought Nick was already
asleep. "It's more than that," Kevin said. "Yeah," Nick
said, "maybe."