Tired of being able to access all of the websites you want? Try the Firefox plugin China Channel and free yourself from the unfettered world of the uncensored internet. You won’t not find yourself to not be misunderwhelmed.

In order to assuage fears that China would not be open to debate a criticism during the Olympic games, the government has set up three “protest zones”. Says Mo Yuchuan, director of the Research Center for Constitutional and Administrative Law at Renmin Daxue 人民大学:

The move to set aside protest areas is in line with Beijing’s promises to the International Olympic Committee to adhere to the Olympic traditions, such as free expression outside the sporting venues. It offers a new channel for the protestors (sic) to better express their opinions by attracting the eyes of tourists, reporters and officials during the Games.

So how is this arrangement turning out? Quite well if you believe that nobody wishes to protest. Not so much if you travel to the three zones and find them empty. Even worse when you realize that some applicants have been arrested. When questioned about why nobody has been allowed top protest, Beijing Organizing Committee for the Olympic Games vice president Wang Wei said:

China has stepped forward. The ordinary Chinese in the street will give the same answer. Do not underestimate the wisdom of the Chinese people. Do not think that you are smartest.

In related news, five US activists have been detained after unfurling an LED “Free Tibet” banner in Beijing. Regrettably, Tibet remains quite expensive.

First China vows to open access to media during the Olympics. Turns out that was a joke. Now the International Olympic Committee has sent its minions accross China to tape over unauthorized displays of the Olympic rings. Although the Chinese government has a substantial lead in the Douchebagoffery, the IOC is gaining ground. Who will reach the bottom first?

Windows only: PPstream is a peer-to-peer (P2P, or if you must, PP) video client that allows for live streaming and sharing of television and movies from China. Catch favorites such as CCTV (中国中央电视台) channels 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, and 17, movies of questionable legality and plenty of Olympics. The PP streams offer a golden opportunity to soak upimmerse yourself indip your toe into watch a delugetorrent bunch of TV from China. Sorry.

Other criticism of the 2008 Beijing Olympics pales in comparison to the newest shocker: Athletes will not compete in the nude, even though the Greeks originally competed with nary a loincloth. Viewers and gods alike will be forced to imagine the glistening, olive-oiled bodies under mounds of confining cloth. Oh China! What have you done to our beloved games? If we wanted to watch a bunch of never-nudes, we’d watch some cheap Roman rip-off. Boycott?

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has admitted that the Beijing Organizing Committee for the Games of the XXIX Olympiad (BOCOG) will indeed censor the internet during the upcoming Olympics.

Says IOC press chief Kevan Gosper:

“I regret that it now appears BOCOG has announced that there will be limitations on website access during Games time.”

In related news, there is no need for direct access to information, according to the CCP Central Committee’s limb, the People’s Daily:

“The Games will definitely act as a window through which people staying at home and coming from outside can exchange glances in a free and friendly manner. There is no need to peep into each other’s realms, as the new window encourages people from different backgrounds to meet halfway through direct communications.”

-and-

“It is evident that any mature host would like to open itself to criticism from its guests, and any constructive criticism would only help the host improve. It is also well-documented in Olympic history that any din or noise, loud as it is, has no reason to disrupt the Games, as the Olympic spirit will eventually survive and foil any fault-finding attempts. That is why the Beijing Olympic Organizing Committee has decided to initiate communication by granting freedom to the media.“

We’re all really hyped up about the Olympics here at ESinophile Headquarters, so we’re going to do a few posts about the games. Consider this the pollution post.

Here comes the Olympics! Hooray, right? Unfortunately, It seems that the air in and around Beijing, not to mention the waters around Qingdao, haven’t gotten the memo about the need for a harmonious particulate count. Here’s are few reports after the jump:

Again, there is a newly digitized collection of old China photos placed online for us to enjoy. This time the danwei to be thanked is the Library at Duke University. Consider my hat doffed to you, oh fine librarianites. Outstanding photos at outstanding resolutions. As I couldn’t say it any better, for background, I’ll make bold to nick their entire intro blurb:

From 1908 to 1932, Sidney Gamble (1890-1968 ) visited China four times, traveling throughout the country to collect data for social-economic surveys and to photograph urban and rural life, public events, architecture, religious statuary, and the countryside. A sociologist, renowned China scholar, and avid amateur photographer, Gamble used some of the pictures to illustrate his monographs. The Sidney D. Gamble Photographs digital collection marks the first comprehensive public presentation of this large body of work that includes photographs of Korea, Japan, Hawaii, San Francisco, and Russia. The site currently features photographs dated between 1917 and 1932; the 1908 photographs will be digitized and uploaded as part of future additions to the site.

Robert Scheer, Editor in Chief of Truthdig, inspired progressive, consummate broken-record, articulate polemicist, and occasional weirdo has written an article entitled “Taiwan Declares Peace on China” in which he excoriates neocons for wasteful military spending by holding up the example of the truce between China and Taiwan for comparison.

The question is, does he too eagerly succumb to the self-interested rhetoric of both sides when he declares that “this long chapter of Cold War conflict has been closed and a new era of peace proclaimed by once strident foes”? A provocative, if problematic, read.

So, for the first time in roughly, forever, the friendly folks at your neighborhood Chinese bank have issued a new ten yuan note. No biggie you say? Take another gander. Not only are they special Olympic notes, there’s no Mao anywhere to be seen on them! Personally, I haven’t actually seen one in my hands though. I’m suspecting that he’s hiding up at the top of the bird’s nest. Hang on… I think I need to take a closer look at that image from the other side after the jump…

As fluent speakers of Chinglish, the world’s best language, we welcome the advancement of this venerable and pleasing tongue. A recent article in Wired forsees an even greater influence of Chinglish on English in the future. Don’t agree? 去死吧你 “Go die, You!”

Chances are that you are sitting there, like I was, trying to read some scrawled chicken-scratchings purported to be Chinese. You know that the word you are looking at should be ‘died,’ but the glory of Chinese allows for many different combinations that mean that. To do a decent transcription, you certainly need, like I did, 166 synonyms for ‘die’ in Chinese.

“Once I was playing guitar and singing the song ‘I Am A Wolf From The North’, and a young wolf I raised walked up to me and stared at me. Suddenly he howled with the rhythm, and even patted the strings with his claw.”

It seems that the beloved term jia you 加油 (come on!; go!, lit. “add oil”) is being replaced by an official Olympics cheer. The Beijing Olympic Organising Committee and the Ministry of Education plan to indoctrinate introduce the new cheer to tens of thousands of potential Olympic attendees. Facelessness will be harder to teach.

In part three of our ongoingseries, we turn toward the best kind of nationalism—needles in the head. Apparently, Dr. Wei Sheng surpassed his previous word-record of 1790 needles, a laughably tiny number, with, you guessed it, 2008 needles.

In related news, Pinhead is showing his Olympic spirit with spikes of his own.

To celebrate the addition of BMX Racing to the Olympics games in 2008, Nike and BMX legend Bob Haro are putting on a multimedia art show in Beijing. Called “Lightning Bolts,” the show has ramps, screens, and best of all, stylized number plates. Pics here and here.

In slightly related news, some people are riding their bikes from Athens to Beijing. Sheesh!