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She is an old co-worker, and I'll be seeing her soon. She lost her husband to cancer, and she is in her late 60s. I was thinking of getting her flowers, but maybe she's had enough of that. She will get a sympathetic ear from me, but I'd like to give her something. She isn't openly sentimental but would appreciate a gesture.

Your friend sounds like my mom, who was 68 when my father succumbed to cancer (just about 2 years ago). An ear, a presence, is a wonderful gift. A friend of mine got my mother a gardenia plant, which was dad's favorite, and she really appreciated that.

There cannot be a crisis today. My schedule is already full.
-Henry Kissinger

I agree with cookieee as I think the gift of companionship is more valued to a bereaved person than a *gift* unless it's something that has some kind of emotional resonance beyond showing that you care in the generic sense.

I agree with Cookieee, too. A day or evening out with friends is a wonderful gift. A book or something for her hobby would be fine, too. I have a friend going through this right now, and she has asked to go shopping and out to lunch. And, be ready to have it called off if she's having a bad day -- and reschedule!

I agree with Cookieee, too. A day or evening out with friends is a wonderful gift. A book or something for her hobby would be fine, too. I have a friend going through this right now, and she has asked to go shopping and out to lunch. And, be ready to have it called off if she's having a bad day -- and reschedule!

I do think it's important to let the person relax and feel whatever they are feeling.

When I grieved, it was most difficult to be around people who attempted to cheer me up and/or I sensed wanted to *know* that I was doing fine.

She is an old co-worker, and I'll be seeing her soon. She lost her husband to cancer, and she is in her late 60s. I was thinking of getting her flowers, but maybe she's had enough of that. She will get a sympathetic ear from me, but I'd like to give her something. She isn't openly sentimental but would appreciate a gesture.

Help her to embrace her new life. Encourage her to reconnect with her friends and community and be sure to let them know how she is looking forward to learning new skills. Take her food, visit with her. Invite her to your family's events, holidays etc.