Millions of women have been hit hard by America's retirement income-security crisis

She is 55, broke and tired of trying to keep up appearances. Faking normal is wearing her out.

To look at her, you wouldn't know that her electricity was cut off last
week for non-payment or that she meets the eligibility requirements for
food stamps. Her clothes are still impeccable, bought in the good times
when she was still making money.

A Grace Note of Panic

But if you paid attention, you would see the sadness in her eyes, hear
that grace note of panic in her otherwise commanding voice.

These days, she buys the $1.99 10-ounce "trial size" jug of Tide to make
ends meet. You didn't know laundry detergent came in that size.

You invite her to the same expensive restaurants the two of you have
always enjoyed, but she orders mineral water with a twist of lemon,
instead of the $12 glass of Chardonnay. She is frugal in her menu
choices, meticulous, counting every penny in her head. She demurs
dividing the table bill evenly to cover desserts, designer coffees and
the second and third glasses of wine she didn't drink.

Nest Egg: Gone Long Ago

She lives without cable, a gym membership and nail appointments. She's discovered she can do her own hair.

There are no retirement savings, no nest egg; she exhausted that long
ago. There is no expensive condo from which to draw equity and no
husband to back her up.

Months of slow pay and no pay have decimated her credit. Bill collectors
call constantly, reading verbatim from a script, expressing polite
sympathy for her plight - before demanding payment arrangements that she
can't possibly meet.

When the Phone Stops Ringing

Friends wonder privately how someone so well-educated could be in
economic free fall. After all, she is still as talented as ever and
smart as a whip. But work is sketchy now, mostly on-and-off consulting
gigs. You can't remember when she had a real job. She has learned how to
appear engaged, but her phone doesn't ring with opportunities anymore.

She doesn't remember exactly when it stopped.

But she has entered the uncertain world of formerly and used to be and isn't sure anymore where she belongs.

What she does know is that dozens of online job applications she's
filled out seem to have disappeared into a black hole. She's convinced
that employers have set their online job recruitment algorithms to
reject anyone who graduated before 1995.

She wonders what is to become of her. So far, her health has held up, but her body aches. Or is it her spirit?

Homeless women use to be invisible to her, but she appraises them now,
with curious eyes, wondering if their stories started like hers.

Time to Stop Faking Normal

Even if you are not poor, exactly, you may still be facing downward
mobility and feeling ashamed and embarrased about it. If so, come on
out. Stop faking normal. There are millions of women like us and there
is strength in our numbers.

Women nearing retirement are particularly hard hit by America's
retirement income-security crisis. The gender wage disparity gap costs
women $431,360 over the course of their lives, according to the Center
for American Progress. Add to this shortfall another $304,000 that women
forfeit for time off from paid work to tend to parents (according to
the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP) and hundreds of thousands
more to care for children and the consequences of spending a life of
economic disadvantage becomes clear in lost wages, reduced pension and
Social Security benefits.

The prospect is even worse if you are a woman of color: Today, three in
10 single black women over 65 and early 4 in 10 older single Hispanic
women live in poverty, a rate more than twice that of white women,
according to the Women's Institute for a Secure Retirement (WISER).

But if we are hiding or in denial about our financial insecurity, we're
not taking the active role we need to navigate this phase of our lives.
One action I took that really helped me and gave me both perspective and
peace of mind was picking a friend to talk to and totally come clean
about my situation. Turns out, she was broke, too, and was as worried
about her future as I was about mine. It was such a burden off me to
just speak my truth.

For all of us, there are hard choices to make about where we are going
to live and how. The good news is that the market is beginning to
respond with many more innovative and affordable senior housing and
co-housing options to help boomers stay engaged and lead meaningful
lives. I expect manufacturers to follow suit with value-engineered
products geared to retirees with lower incomes.

So while our new living quarters may b a rental and the size of a
postage stamp, it beats being confined to a dim lit room in some drab
building with a weird hospital smell and institutionalized food.

No. 1: "Motivated"

If you describe yourself as "a creative, passionate marketing expert
with an excellent track record" on LinkedIn, it may be time to rewrite
your profile.

According to LinkedIn, those are some of the most overused buzzwords right now, and using them may hurt you in your job search.

"If you're motivated about your career, passionate about doing your best
work, and are highly creative, then I've got news for you; so is
everyone else," writes LinkedIn career expert Catherine Fisher.

To compile its fifth annual list of the most overused buzzwords
worldwide, the professional networking giant looked for the words and
phrases that showed up most frequently on the profiles of its 332
million users.

The No. 1 overused buzzword last year across LinkedIn profiles globally and in the US was "motivated."

If you want your profile to stand out in 2015, avoid these overused words and phrases:

Can an employer change appearance rules after you are hired?

So I've been trying to find out if an employer has the right to fire
an employee for piercings or covered/nonvisible tattoos if at the point
of hire the employee was within the dress/personal appearance code. I
have piercings (two in both ears, all plugs all less than 3/8") and no
visible tattoos and when I was hired I was in code. Two weeks ago the
dress policy changed to make my piercings no longer in code.

When I was hired I took out my lip ring, it wasn't to code. By code we
are allowed to have one stud per ear (my second set is small and filled
with a plug that makes them appear to not be there at work) with a face
no larger than a 1/2", and now the code specifically states that
employees with gauged ears must remove their jewelry before work. If
that had been a condition of employment when I was hired I would not
have taken the job since I have spent time, effort, and money to
properly gauge my ears to the size they are. The jewelry I prefer for my
ears is in gauged sizes. Now my preference might cost me my job if I
refuse to let my ears shrink.

Keep in mind I understand the concept of at will employment and will
probably be job hunting soon just to avoid the conflict if it becomes an
issue. That said and set aside, I am asking mostly out of curiosity and
partly because I like my job and would like to figure out the legal
standing for the issue.

You probably know about the concept of "grandfathering" that you hear
sometimes when laws or rules change. The idea is that people who were in
compliance with the law before it changed are allowed to keep things
the way they were. While this is common with things like zoning laws,
I've never heard of an employer "grandfathering" an employee in on any
rules change.

If your piercings are just a personal preference, then you're probably out of luck. There are limited circumstances where a dress code change might be illegally applied.

Here are some examples:

Religious discrimination: If the piercings relate
to some religious requirement or belief, then you might have a religious
discrimination claim. Your employer might have to accommodate your
religious belief, especially since you've been wearing the items with no
hardship on the employer to date.

Disability discrimination: I can't imagine how,
but let's say the gauges had some medical purpose. Your employer might
have to grant an accommodation under the Americans With Disabilities Act
and let you wear them.

National origin discrimination: If the gauges are
something you wear as part of your culture, and the dress code impacts
people of your culture and not others, then maybe there's an argument
for national origin discrimination. This would be similar to banning
dreadlocks that had been allowed when only one Jamaican employee in the
workplace has the dreadlocks. If the policy is directed at a particular
national origin or race, you might have protection.

Retaliation: If you're the only person affected by
the change, and the rules change came right after you blew the whistle
on something illegal, made a worker's compensation claim or took Family
and Medical Leave, you might be able to show that the rules change was
done to retaliate against you illegally.

I'm betting none of these apply to your situation. You might ask if
they'd consider grandfathering you under the rules. If not, you may have
to either take the gauges out or find another job.

Why don't employers grandfather employees whose appearance was okay
under older rules? I have no answer. Employers do lots of arbitrary
stuff.

If any managers or HR people can explain this one to me, I'd love to hear it.

Gallup poll reports female managers engage their employees more than their male peers

Lean in, ladies. According to a recent Gallup
survey, employees who work for female managers in the U.S. are more
engaged than those who work for male managers. Female employees who work
for female managers are the most engaged, at 35 percent. Female
employees who work for a male manager make up 31 percent. At 29 percent
are male employees who work for female managers. Male employees who
report to male managers are the least engaged, at 25 percent.

Female managers themselves also tend to be more engaged than their male
counterparts, with Gallup finding that 41 percent of female managers
were engaged at work, compared to 35 percent of male managers. This
applies to female managers of every working-age generation, including
ones who have children in their household. Managers who are more engaged
tend to be more likely to contribute to their workplace's current and
future success.

How does Gallup measure employee engagement? They use the Q12,
a 12-item survey that addresses specific elements of engagement that
will predict employee and workgroup performance. The 12 Elements of
Great Managing Are:

I know what is expected of me at work.

I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right.

At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day.

In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good work.

My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.

There is someone at work who encourages my development.

At work, my opinions seem to count.

The mission or purpose of my company makes me feel my job is important.

In the last six months, someone at work has talked to me about my progress.

This last year, I have had opportunities at work to learn and grow.

Employees who work for female managers outscored those who work for male managers on every Q12 element
but one. When it comes to setting clear work expectations, creating a
positive team environment, as well as giving employees helpful feedback,
recognition, and opportunities for career growth, female managers
eclipse male managers.

There's an art to writing a great thank you note

Common sense says to write a thank-you note after an interview. But like Emily Post, are thank-you notes now a thing of the antiquated past?

No, dear Millennial, they are not. And no, dear Boomer, they are not an obvious common courtesy.

When properly done, post-interview thank-you notes serve several
distinct purposes. Unfortunately, most notes are not executed well and
don't really contribute to your chances of landing the job.

For example, here is an actual hand-written note I received after an interview:

"Dear Rhona:
I want to Thank You for taking the time to meet with me regarding the
____ position. It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope to speak with
you again soon.
Sincerely,
__________."

See anything wrong with it? Before you answer, here's a hint. The thing most wrong is what's not in it.

A great thank-you note should accomplish a few things that this note--while still nice--does not. It should:

Help the interviewer consider you more strongly by showing your passion

Improve an answer to a question you may not have nailed

Answer a question the interviewer posed and didn't leave time to address

Provide deeper follow-up to a point you may have made

Provide another example of how you can help the organization based on something mentioned during the interview

Of course, one letter can't (and shouldn't try to) address all five
points. But even though thank-you notes should be relatively short, the
content or "meat" of them still takes precedence over brevity.
Generally, when I get a pleasant but generic thank you letter like the
one above, I immediately file it in the trash. It basically wasted my
time. However, if a letter adds information about the candidate, it gets
stapled to his or her resume and cover letter and kept for future
consideration.

Length is important, though. A few well-written paragraphs should
suffice--but no more than one page. With that in mind, only one or two
points can be handled substantively. Pick the one that's most pertinent
and then use the other bulleted goals for follow-up touch points in
subsequent correspondence in a week or two.

Sometimes thank-you notes just feel like wasted time, particularly after
a bad interview--but when done correctly, they aren't. Take goal number
two, for instance: addressing a question you may not have handled to
the best of your ability. In the thank-you note, you can write that
after sleeping on it, you realized that you neglected to mention how you
completed a project that addressed the issue, and add that information.

Email does not preclude you also sending a standard thank-you note
that can arrive days later and be used as a second touch point.

Like interview questions, I believe thank-you notes are best used as conversation starters. Here's a redacted example of an email thank-you note I sent after one interview:

Dear ________:
Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to meet with me regarding the open position for _____________.

Regarding our discussion on ongoing learning and new media tools, some techniques I've found valuable include:
* Recorded webinars. I developed these at The NAPL
Network for key management topics, and seminars were then recorded for
on-demand access by members throughout the year. I also use webinars in
keeping my own knowledge base up-to-date on various media topics.
* Short Explainer Videos. This new video format breaks
down difficult concepts into 60 or 90 second visual spots that keep
audiences engaged. Here's a link to one I completed recently for The
Press. http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/site/video/. This video was also repurposed into TV and radio spots.

These and other cost-effective options can easily be interwoven into a
broader strategic communications plan for maintaining consistent and
targeted messaging. I would welcome the opportunity to move to the next
phase and continue our discussion for broadening the audience reach and
engagement of _________. Thank you again for your time and
consideration.

This was not a short note. Its purpose, however, was to function like a
second cover letter, allowing me to thank the interviewer while
highlighting experiences and credentials that directly addressed
concerns raised during the interview. It showed that I listened,
understood her questions, had something to offer, and was still excited
about the prospect.

I ultimately did not get the job, but I did move to the next level of
consideration, and that's really the only goal of each interaction--to
get to the next level.

When crafting your own post-interview thank-you notes, don't use Emily Post
as a guide. Her rules of engagement were about personal connections and
note cards. Business correspondence follows its own rules, including
stationery over cards, and content that is less personal and more
practical. Each letter, whether on paper or digital, needs to get to the
point, not waste time, add to the conversation and encourage forward
motion. It's a different type of art, but one that can be easily
mastered.