Sunday, February 17, 2008

The people living within my small residential community provide me with a constant source of frustration. When they're not playing their music as loud as it will go or stomping up and down the staircases, you can usually find them in the parking lot maneuvering their vehicles with the reckless abandon of a drunken chimpanzee.

Fortunately, the good people at Glarkware.com have created a product that applies to all of the above mentioned scenarios. Behold, The Urban Asshole Notification Card.

Urban life is fraught with daily challenges. We're beset on all sides -- by thoughtless co-workers, oblivious roommates, and even regular strangers on the street -- with the flagrant flouting of the simple rules that govern mundane transactions in society. One such rule, however, is that we don't confront those who transgress against the social order -- and that's a rule Glarkware feels was made to be broken.

Now you can confront those who wrong you, in a way that won't result in your getting your ass beat up. Let the Urban Asshole cards do the talking for you, and put urban assholes in their place.

Each card is scored but not folded so you can present them as is or fold them up so that the recipient only sees "Congrats!" before they get "You're An Asshole" and the hard truth on the other side.

Back of the card reads:

Congrats, You’re An Asshole

Assholes rarely know why they are the way they are, so here’s a clue for you on your journey of self-improvement:

☑ Double parking☑ Parking in handicap space☑ Leaving dog in car☑ Not shovelling sidewalk☑ Creating your own parking space☑ Talking really loudly on cell phone while riding public transportation☑ Being a loud inconsiderate neighbour☑ Cutting in line☑ Bringing sixteen items to the fifteen-item express lane☑ Not tipping / not tipping enough☑ Not cleaning up after yourself☑ Not controlling dog ...