Earlier this year, Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe signed an executive order granting the right to vote to 206,000 convicted felons who had completed their sentences and probation. Now, Republicans in the state’s legislature are fighting to take it back again.

A top official with the New York City Board of Elections will lose her job over the widespread problems with voter rolls in Brooklyn polling places during Tuesday’s presidential primary, according to anonymous sources who spoke with the New York Daily News.

After wins for Hillary and Trump in yesterday’s primary and a number of complaints from voters, including Martha Stewart, New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has announced that his office is conducting an investigation into the New York City Board of Elections.

Soon we’ll have a winner in the first official contest of the 2016 election. For the Republicans, it’s likely to be Donald Trump, though it could be Sen. Ted Cruz. There is a small chance it will be Sen. Marco Rubio, the supposed “establishment” candidate. But it probably won’t be. And don’t worry: Losing—repeatedly and for a long time—is all part of Rubio’s master plan.

How can you make a difference in the American political system? Bernie Sanders supporters are having preemptively defeatist arguments about this, about whether Sanders voters should swallow their principles and support Hillary Clinton in the general election, or sit back and let the Republican nominee win, in the hopes of shocking Democrats to move left.

Surprise! Experienced exorcist and current Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal is running for President. Now, some candidates’ announcement videos may focus on things like production, a candidates’ values, and actors who have consented to being filmed—but Bobby Jindal isn’t like other candidates. Instead, here’s a video he took of his children with a camera he hid in tree.

Libertarian-esque wet dream Rand Paul is still considered a “serious” candidate for president, in part because people have not had time to fully digest his policy prescriptions. For example: today he proposed a massive tax cut for the rich!

In 1996, C.J. Phillips met Charlie Rainwater and fell in love, as young self-identified “doggy dudes” do. Now, they’d like to have a polite, civil conversation—about their right to love each other, and anything else that’s vexing you. Which is why they parked a lovely website on the domain jebbushforpresident.com.

For presidential primogeniture artist John Ellis “Jeb” Bush, distancing himself from the family name is only half the battle: He must appear to embrace the youngs as tightly as Napoleon appeared to embraced the plague-stricken poor. Fortunately, his website coders had a plan. The youngs love Bruce Willis, right?

Did you go to a fratty mid-Atlantic college in the late ’90s, have a Bob Marley blacklight poster, and squee to MTV Party to Go Platinum Remix while drinking Red Stripe at parties? Congratulations, Dawson! You know as much about rap as Marco Rubio, Fox News rap correspondent.

The news broke in time for South Floridians to read it on their phones while stopped for a frigging accident on the frigging Golden Glades just a couple frigging blocks from work. Marco Rubio, their senator and beige Buick-steering soulmate, is as shitty a driver as them. His wife is even worse:

Rick Perry’s presidential campaign launched today on the premise that you don’t need to be able to count to three as long as you can push the red button. But amid his militaristic orgy of self-praise, dumb media people had a dumb media argument about the emo twins flanking Perry. Caitlyn Jenner was involved.

Yesterday, more than 100 Gawker Media editorial employees voted on the question of whether to be represented by the Writers Guild of America, East for the purpose of collective bargaining—that is, whether we want to form a union. The results are in.

Ashley Feinberg · 05/08/15 10:19AM

South Carolina Senator and anthropomorphized seersucker suit Lindsey Graham will reportedly be announcing his bid for the presidency on June 1. He will be joining the 753 other Republican candidates currently in the running.

Tomorrow, the citizenry of the United Kingdom will cast their votes in a general election. If you’re an American, you may have been too busy tenderly rubbing your genitals on a gun to have read much about this. Who’s fighting to lead this grey and unpleasant land onward into its inevitable irrelevancy? And how do we even do elections without an electoral college? Allow me, a Proper Brit, to get you up to speed.

Staten Island district attorney Daniel Donovan has won a special election for the house seat left open by disgraced congressman Michael Grimm, who pled guilty to felony tax evasion in December, The New York Times reports. Donovan is the same D.A. whose office failed last year to secure an indictment for Daniel Pantaleo, the NYPD officer who killed Eric Garner.