Within the heart of every stray lies the singular desire to be loved! (love a stray today :) ) Welcome to the trappings of a curious and sometimes demented mind!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

warm and fuzzies

Today was a really nice day. I went to the female bloggers meeting and had the best time. Time flew by and before I knew it, 2 hrs had passed and it was time to go home.... thanks for the good time everyone! Btw... you girls are really a nice group of ppl.

I've been thinking about my blog lately.... being bored and not knowing what to write, and then also feeling bad for things I've written in the past. Judging w/out ever giving a reason for the judgment. I've made comments about the way girls wear make-up here and their perfume.. not really thinking about how it might affect other ppl. The bad thing about life is that sometimes when you're exposed to really negative individuals who strive to leave a bad taste in your mouth.... no matter how much you try not to be maimed by it, that bad taste keeps building up and building up.... until you become sorta tarnished, I guess is a way to put it. You start to think differently, judge, and dislike a group of ppl based on past experiences. Yeah... not everyone is alike... I know that... but... I did find myself judging and disliking ppl based on the actions of a few.

I guess you could say it all started like this....

I had the great misfortune of meeting (in person and a few on the net) some Arab girls in the States who were friendly, at first, I guess to size me up for the kill they intended later... with one girl coming to our place, pretending to be all friendly, trying on my eye glasses while going on about how much she liked them, telling me her life story, and later, before leaving, slipping my eye glasses into her purse... now you see them, now you don't.

Thankfully I never saw her again after that.... and no, I didn't mention the glasses to her... what was the point. Not like she'd give 'em back or even admit to it. All of this was after I had been subjected to her retarded/high school girl ways off and on for months.... and, for me, the last straw came when she started coming on way to strong, for my blood, w/ the hubby - over and over again matter of fact, and for anyone who knows me, well...you know I hate that crap more than anything.

One evening, while at a gathering at someone's house... after having a few drinks, I told this girl what I thought of her. And I guess that was the wrong thing to do w/ miss priss because all of the guys there that night (who are Bahraini and now live here - and thankfully I haven't seen any of them!), including her, started telling me how no one would accept me in Bahrain. Ppl would pretend to like me to my face, but would really be laughing behind my back. And that where ever I went, I would need to watch my back... going on and on about how I'd never be accepted, all the while telling me how it's not safe to live here, how everyone hates Americans.... and the main one going on about it was a Royal.... I guess he had to protect his goods.... hmmm... well, she was the goody prize for many or so it seemed from her actions.... maybe it was all based on the fact that I was American, engaged to a Bahraini and no one liked it... I don't know.

They were all just... so nice... ?! I'll tell ya... it gave me such a warm and fuzzy feeling inside... that's fer sure!

And then when I came here, wouldn't you know it, I started to experience these lovely mature ways of behaving from some girls and it seemed that there was a whole new world of games from a select few. Seems that some took this art to a whole new level... because everywhere I turned, I got paint all over me. Such joy. Made my first few years of living here such sweetness.... made me believe those stories for a LONG while.

Needless to say, all of it made me seethe w/ disgust, and I started to wonder if everyone was like this.... hence my blog entries. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover... but I did.

I believe in karma... so I was getting kicked in the butt for something, obviously.... but one of the girls that did this to me here in Bahrain... well, I still see her on occasion... and... it's true - what goes around comes back around! :)

18 comments:

Humans are never alike in everything they do; there’s always a space for dissimilarity. True that you judged a book by it’s cover but who am I to blame you. I would’ve done the same though; I hope you gained something from that experience.

This is supposed to be a space where you can rant and rave and say whatever you feel. You shouldn't have to apologize unless you named names. I think a blog should be a safe space to vent. Everyone has an off day and says all sorts of things they don't mean later. While I agree that it's not wise to make generalizations in most situations, sometimes stereotypes are true and pretending they're not is being dishonest.

You never finished telling the story about the voices you heard. What happened?

I suppose you read Moody's blog about his experience and that is a learning curve for us bloggers. You seem to get hurt and are vulnerable - as we all are - when people are not nice. We just have to balance it with the good times when we relate unconditionally to people and get along really well.Take care though in blog postings because we are not anonymous. I have occasionally deleted something I posted in anger or in haste and realized later, it's better to leave some things unsaid.In a couple of forums I have been 'flamed' - if that's what it's called - someone really got stuck into me and my views and it was a shock, because in 'real life' I don't have this kind of offensive language directed at me.Enough said,w.

Hi Um Naeif, it was a pleasure meeting you and getting to know you a little. Time flew by din't it? I had such a good time.

Don't worry too much about raving and ranting on your blog. I wish I could and maybe I should.

Reading your blog I got the impression that you are someone trying to find their way and live happily amongst a culture and a people so different from hers. You should be allowed to vent and express your feelings w/o anyone getting p-oed.

meticulousness, hi! it's been a long time since seeing you around. thanks for stopping by again. and yes, i did gain something from that experience... and i keep learning, i must say. the blog meeting i had this past wkend gave me a whole different view of individuals... which brought up this particular post, and the fact that one of the girls told me that i was an aggressive blogger and that she was afraid to wear too much make-up because of my posts. that comment made me feel bad... in that i generalized too much... but sometimes, in anger, i tend to do that... so yes, i did learn a lot. :)

jane, i agree... i think i should be able to rant and go on about any topic i choose. but it seems that some ppl get rather peeved at my making any comments about a culture that i don't know much about... altho, w/in the last 4 yrs, i have learned quite a bit about this culture... and wouldn't disagree w/ anyone making comments about the american culture... blah blah blah.. you know what i mean. i'll write a post about the voices and such... :)

wendy, you know... i've had someone attack me thru a flaming type thing as well. this girl claimed i wrote stuff on her blog and was bad mouthing me like crazy on it. she and her friend came to my blog and started leaving all types of bizarre and rude posts... so i know what you mean. i hate that. teaches you a lot though... to me, some ppl are just sorta weird in this blog world.

jac, thank you sir for your wise comments. so glad to see you back again! i was a bit worried, but thought you had gone on a fantastic journey, which i'm anxious to hear about! :) again, thank you for your nice words of wisdom. peace to you.

moody, karma's a *itch! huh? and yeah, i'm obviously getting some back at me. when i made this entry, i did think about your situation. i tend to be like you and write whatever and then find myself feeling embarrassed sometimes afterwards for what i said and such. i've learned though. so there's at least one positive.

gardens of sand, hello my dear! it was soooo nice to get to meet you. isn't it strange to put faces to the blogs? but also really good. i really enjoyed chatting w/ you, and i'm seriously looking forward to hearing all about the coming semesters in north carolina. glad that you write your blog in english! maybe before you leave we could do coffee or something. :)

Yes, I would leave to have coffee and meet up again before I leave. We can swap stories and rant to each other. lol. I really enjoyed visiting with you (as they say in NC). And a lot of girls over do it with all the makeup. Seriously, the human face is not a canvas. I am glad that she took your advice!

Hey Um Naief, its an interesting take on people's beaviors. Some people can really mess things up for you. So I think we need to be select about what we hear and who we hear it from. I like your blog, I'm linking you ;)Peace,SoulSearch

munther, now... lemme tell ya... there were some cuties there at the bloggers gathering! one especially that was very cute... and not at all like a stalker chick or wack job... ;) maybe she even comments on this blog!

gardens let me know the date... hubby is taking off wed. & thurs and all next week... so i'm pretty free.

soulsearch, i think you're on to something here... i totally agree with you! i like your blog as well. thanks for the link!

newme, i really enjoyed meeting up w/ you too! great sense of humor you have there. let's keep in touch :) and i agree.. i think it sets our soul free to allow the ugliness out... why keep it all inside... you know!

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Who am I?

I'm a girl living in Bahrain, under the all too watchful eyes of her in-laws, begging for a breath to speak/write it all down.... and I have a beautiful boy that will soon be 3... he's the only thing that keeps me 'almost' sane..... that and happiness that flutters like a butterfly... a beautiful red, black and gold one.... too quick to catch.