HOW TO REBUILD YOUR INNER GODDESS ・AFTER AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF

Inner Goddess: Our highest source of feminine power

The relationship we have with ourselves is paramount to our entire existence. It influences the way we interact with others and how they perceive us, it also convinces us whether we are enough, or not.

When our sense of self has been altered, feelings of self doubt and lack of purpose creep in like a thunder storm and can easily shatter everything you’ve spent years building with one strike. This lack of connection to our source of feminine power leaves us helpless, lost and often in despair. How did we allow ourselves to get so lost?

However, losing our way can be one of the best things to happen and it shouldn’t scare us, it should liberate and motivate us to move forward. I personally like to look back to exactly which point I allowed my personal boundaries to be crossed and then assess why. Was I trying to fill an inner void? What personal issues was I going through at the time? How did this interfere with the interactions and circumstances of the people I allowed into my inner circle? I’m 28 and still allowing people no good for my spirit into my boundaries, side lining those that are food for my soul. These questions allow me to assess how to improve for next time.

As women, the societal expectations on us are tremendous and we are in a constant battle to multi task and please others, often failing and forgetting to please the most important person in our lives…ourselves. How many times have you felt unaligned with your inner goddess? The less we are connected to our inner goddess, the more our spirit connects to our limiting beliefs.

What do you do when you’ve lost touch with your inner goddess?

Firstly, don’t freak out, we all lose our way at some stage, sometimes on several occasions throughout our lives. It can happen to anyone, at any age or stage of their lives. In actual fact, it eventually will happen to you at some point in your life.

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself. Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

One. | Silence Yourself, Silence Your World.

Silence is often the greatest fuel the soul needs most. It’s ok to take time off and away from what you were doing or expected to do, change paths or stop taking any path full stop. I remember dating someone recently who couldn’t comprehend the fact I took two years off from power walking through my life. I told him that I’d rather go through it in my late 20s than later on in life. You know the funny part? I was the one who had the courage to live my dream life while he was stuck in a miserable 9-5 life.

Take the time out to meditate, sit in silence, lose yourself in a good book, call someone who lifts your spirit up (My best friend in Sydney has this innate ability to snap me out of any poor mental state in less than 2 minutes), write in a journal or keep an emotions diary, light candles, visualize what you want in your life. What does your dream life look like? Is it really that impossible? I didn’t think so. Your emotional bruises are just that, bruises and they will pass when you rekindle your love for yourself by listening to your inner self.

Sometimes when I’m feeling overwhelmed and unaligned, I play my favourite Ted Talk, which is usually Brene Brown ‘The Power of Vulnerability’ or Monica Lewinsky’s ‘The Price of Shame‘ and colour in my colouring book. This may sound childish to you but 30 minutes of this has worked its magic over the last year. It’s my secret form of meditation.

Something else I like to do religiously for myself is set aside a fortnightly £20 budget on a beautiful bunch of fresh roses for my bedroom. As I work from home, my room is also my office and I spend so much time in my personal bubble so I love walking into my space and seeing a beautiful bunch of roses on my bedside table. I also have a budget for candles and am always grateful for any I get as gifts, such as this Maison Ves luxury scented candle. Purchase here.

Two. | Look Around You

“You can never live the life you want to live without disappointing people along the way. Stop pleasing, stop proving.” Brene Brown

When our inner goddess has gone for a nice holiday (Let’s put her departure nicely, she went to Hawaii while you sorted yourself out), it gives us the opportunity to recoup our energy and figure out what is and no longer is serving our souls. Maybe it’s our job or direction (or lack of) that is letting us down? Has the light in your current relationship gone out? Perhaps the people you consider your friends no longer are?! Anything distracting you from your path should be assessed and eliminated. Whatever is right for you will nourish your journey, not irritate it.

Three. | Figuring Out What Makes You Happy | It’s Time To Go Inside.

And the secret I’ve learned to getting ahead is being open to the lessons.

Lessons from the grandest university of all, That is, the universe itself.

Oprah Winfrey

The hardest willpower you’ll ever have to seek is the one within, the one with all the reasons you need to hear to carry on. It’s there, it’s always there, you just have to look long and hard for it. We all have a reason to be. We all have a greater purpose that we fail to remember in moments of self doubt as we transition through our everyday lives.

Do you need to find a new hobby? Or rekindle yourself with an old one you used to love and make time for? Are you exercising enough? What’s your diet like? Do you drink too much? Have you tried meditating? Are you getting enough sleep at night? How much time do you waste on social media? Ah, social media… no comment.

I’m personally addicted to Bikram Yoga. It has changed my life, my body and helped me connect to my inner goddess. The struggle I have with my own limiting beliefs about what I believe my body can and can’t do is incredible and worth the 90 minute battle I have with myself. I recall this one class where my favourite teacher walked over to me as I gave up and laid on my back while the rest of the class did pose 20 Supta Vajrasan- “It’s all in your head Adriana, you think you can’t but you can. I know all your habits now. Get up…” He couldn’t be more right. This was like a break through juxtaposition for every aspect of my life.

Four. | Being Grateful.

I’m a believer of gratitude in all areas of life. I also believer that you have everything you need in this present moment and practicing gratitude opens up the doors for bigger and better possibilities. Being alive and healthy are two prominent reasons we should all be celebrating and thankful for to begin with.

The wrong person makes you lose yourself; the right one brings you home to yourself. Elyane Youssef

A couple of days ago I met with up someone who I’ve spent two months detoxing out of my system, he told me he was happy that I was happy. All I could say was, “I was always happy, I’m just happier now.” No matter how difficult things were between us, I always looked at the brighter side and was grateful for all the experiences he brought to my life. He was convinced I was crazy, and I am but in his eyes this was a bad thing. The experience also exposed me to a type of character I didn’t enjoy having around me, there is a message behind each lesson. Any lesson I get in life, I am grateful for.

I use the Five Minute Journal everyday to stay accountable and mindful of my thought patterns and to remind myself that I do have good things coming my way and there’s no need to be anxious about the future. Positive affirmations have an immense impact on our psyche and those who ask for greatness, receive it.

Five. | Mirror Mirror On My Wall

I hate photos. I hate selfies. I hate anything to do with the illusion of being beautiful. My beauty is seriously on the inside. This thought pattern is not good enough and counter productive in the components of self love. This fear of facing myself in the mirror is part of the reason my self identity and love for myself was quickly broken when someone with an agenda to hurt me, walked in. Every single day I make the time to take a selfie and find a reason to find something beautiful about it. I may not post it anywhere but it is my way of reconnecting with the love I should always have for myself, unconditionally.

Dance in your underwear, Run through the sprinklers, Act weird with your best friend, And just be crazy cause life is too short to be normal. – Unknown

…in your underwear to your favourite Beyonce track. Personally, I prefer Don Omar but whatever your music taste, it doesn’t matter. Dancing in your bedroom in your underwear can be one of the most liberating, stress eliminating activities you can do to distract yourself from whatever is bringing you down. And you know what? It may be all you need to do to lift your emotional state higher and keep you confident. Sorry boys, no video for you here.

Final Thought.

When we choose and fight for our happiness, we choose and fight for ourselves. Is there anyone else worth fighting for? I think not.

The term get back on the horse and ride it. Never be defined by being defeated. As for a rebuild, how do you rebuild something that can’t be? You are you and in the end, it’s all you will have. Try putting on those battle scars, let the world know how tuff you can be. That way when the next clown comes along for a ride…you show him who’s boss.

I am a Dad, I’m teaching my girl this same lesson. Adriana stay tuff and have a good day.﻿

The term get back on the horse and ride it. Never be defined by being defeated. As for a rebuild, how do you rebuild something that can’t be? You are you and in the end, it’s all you will have. Try putting on those battle scars, let the world know how tuff you can be. That way when the next clown comes along for a ride…you show him who’s boss.

I am a Dad, I’m teaching my girl this same lesson. Adriana stay tuff and have a good day.﻿