This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:

Pookha says:I really like this chapter of the story. I think you capture Xenophilius very well. It says a lot about him that he doesn't like to waste time, but doesn't consider the time he spent cloud-watching while waiting for the pain to pass to be wasted. What's important to him isn't necessarily what would be important to another, but he's not crazy, just eccentric.

I really enjoyed Capria's characterisation as well. You can see traces of Luna in both her parents and you can see the sort of woman, who while plain has a great sense of being comfortable with who she is.

When I look at them together, I see a sort of destiny that draws them nearer and I can tell that's what you're going for in the writing.

I must say that I don't think the addition of the Muggle girlfriend did much. Her character is so one-dimensional that I have a hard time seeing what Xeno saw in her. Maybe like most guys, he could still have his head turned by a pretty face.

Overall, I really enjoyed the story, and knowing where it's going to come out in the end doesn't detract from being interested in the story.

The addition of Xeno's brother, Astrelius also helped to round out Xeno's character. He's good to have a brother that understands and supports his writing.

I've already read the next two chapters, and as I re-read them, I'll review them. I was glad to get a story to review on the review exchange that I had already favourited to read.

Author's Response: Pookha! So so sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this. But I hope you know I really appreciate you taking the time to review! So thank you.

Wow, great catch there! Yes, he does consider his daydreaming time well spent. His priorities are a bit different than those of other people, which may or may not be a weakness. We'll see. ;)

Thank you for bringing the Muggle girlfriend up. Yes, I did want her to be somewhat one-dimensional, and for reasons that aren't apparent until later chapters. Although, when the story is done and I re-read and make edits, I may work on her character a bit. You're not the first to point that out, and I wonder if I what I had in mind is coming across.

So glad you enjoy Astrelius and Xeno's interaction. I didn't want Xeno to live entirely alone, even though he is a loner character, so a sibling seemed perfect, especially one who encourages him in his somewhat eccentric pursuits. There just aren't enough people like that in the world.