Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Lately I've been battling with my blood sugars. And I feel like I'm losing. Yesterday was no exception.

I fight highs all morning. Usually it starts to level off in the afternoon. Yesterday my morning wasn't as bad as most days, but my afternoon was worse. As I finished up my housework, I was feeling sweaty. I figured that was from the cleaning but I tested anyway, and rang in at 33. I had no other symptoms of a low. That makes me think that the highs I fight all morning are rebounds from lows I may be sleeping through - although I have yet to see a middle of the night reading that confirms this.

That 33 made me particularly angry, because it meant I was on my way to another rebound. The rest of the afternoon and evening would be spent trying to correct sky high blood sugars. I was so discouraged that I ate a few cookies. I figured if I was going to be high anyway, I might as well eat what I wanted. Not very productive, but for a moment, I just didn't care. In an attempt to be less reckless, I did bolus for the cookies.

As you can see from my meter readings, I never did rebound. I spend all afternoon and evening desperately trying to get my blood sugar up. I was frustrated. I was discouraged. I was tired and cranky. I got into a huge fight with Pea, that ended with me flinging empty soda cans into the basement, swearing a blue streak and stomping off to hide in the bedroom at 7:30. That's not like me. Yes, I have a temper and tend to raise my voice more than I should, but I don't swear at my husband and I never throw things. I guess the 53 reading at 8:04, after we had made up, didn't surprise either of us.

Next Friday I go to my endo. I'm sure when he sees my readings and I tell him that I'd like to go on a CGMS, he'll start the process immediately. But right now, next Friday seems very far away. And the time it will take to get approval, get my sensors, and get trained to use them feels like eons. And I'm left feeling frustrated about highs I can't correct and scared about lows I'm probably not feeling.

Wow. What a day you had. Sorry things are so whacky and frustrating. I totally understand. I had a high the other morning only to ring in at 55 that put me on my arse. I wanted to swear but I was too tired. So I slept. Really screwed me up the rest of the day and night.

What a rotten day, especially because you had a fight with Pete. That just sucks. It's so aggravating when you get that frustrated and the people you care about end up in the line of fire because it's easier to throw stuff at them than it is to throw stuff at diabetes. The last couple of nights I've been low for hours. I ate snacks, and apparently shouldn't have bolused for them... as if my pancreas is waking from its 30-year hiatus ??? That is until whatever day this week I end up chasing highs 'cause I know thats what's coming.

I Am . . .

Karen Graffeo

I'm a Knitter living with Type 1 Diabetes. I'm not a medical professional nor am I giving medical advice - I'm just a girl sharing my personal thoughts and experiences with diabetes. I live in New England with my wonderful husband, my adorable cat, and lots and lots of yarn.