The 10 Most Prophetic Texans-Bengals Rapper Tweets

The Houston Texans’ 2015 season began with HBO’s Hard Knocks introducing the team to America at large. It took a month of filming and some fancy editing to present to the nation our sometimes thrilling and frequently frustrating NFL franchise, but Home Box Office could have saved all that time and money by just directing the curious to the Twitter accounts of Houston’s most notorious rappers.

Keeping a tradition alive, we’ve once again collected some of the most insightful Tweets these artists/Texans fans shared on game day. Houston's rhymesayers turned soothsayers for the Texans' 10-6 Monday Night Football victory over the previously undefeated Cincinnati Bengals. Maybe it's because the Texans have owned the Bengals in every meaningful game they've played against each other in recent history. Or, maybe because the game was played on the 15th anniversary of the untimely passing of Houston's own DJ Screw, our town's rappers could sense the Texans defense would slow the Bengals' offense to a pace Screw would have endorsed. Whatever the case, they seemed to be a step ahead of the football action all night:

Even our rapping oracles could not have foreseen this: a monkey in a Bengals jersey. Riding a dog. With a GoPro.

Jesse’s been writing for the Houston Press since 2013. His work has appeared elsewhere, notably on the desk of the English teacher of his high school girlfriend, Tish. The teacher recognized Jesse’s writing and gave Tish a failing grade for the essay. Tish and Jesse celebrated their 33rd anniversary as a couple in October.