Saturday, June 17, 2017

Firework Oreos - Walmart

Firework Oreos- Walmart

I've missed blogging (and you guys) so much!!

Fixing up my new home is kicking my butt. Every free moment I have goes to painting, repairing, scheduling, or cursing like a sailor as I discover new horrible things previous home owners have done. It's like an infuriating game of hide and seek, but with permits and inspections and a lot of rage. As my step-dad put it, "Welcome to the 30 year club". We don't get matching jackets (sadly), but in the end, I'll all be worth it.

I'm a bit rusty, so I figured I'd get back into the swing of things with something simple and short. Enter: Fireworks Oreos.

Plain 'ol chocolate Oreos with some totally-not-Pop-Rocks mixed into the creme.(Shh, you wanna get sued?) Flavor-wise, we all know what to expect, but is the popping effect worthy of the name "Firework"? We shall see...

The packaging is colorful, patriotic, and a little pop-art-y. I like the use of flat colors for the fireworks and the overall graphic quality, but the font they used for the word "Firework" is way too polished.

When I think of fireworks, I imagine bold sans-serif typefaces in all caps. Like a warning label. Then again, I've only seen the seedy fireworks that my one uncle used to buy from mystery places and set off in his backyard. Kind of like the ones from this episode of Malcolm in The Middle. I just wish the word looked bolder, grittier, and more firework-y.

Hopefully this polished and subdued typeface isn't a sign that the popping effect will be equally lame. I'm hoping for some Komodo 3000 popping action!

I decided to try the creme on it's own first, since that's how most limited edition flavors really shine.

I opened the package and twisted a cookie apart. The white creme had little flecks of red and blue popping candy mixed in, visually it's really festive, but they look a little sparse to have a strong popping power.

Here we go, moment of truth and...it's weak sauce, man. I was really underwhelmed. The familiar creme filling has a few speckled candy bits inside, and they do pop slightly, but it's a far weaker sensation than you'd get with a normal bag of pop rocks. When eaten together with the cookie, you can barely tell it has popping candy at all. During the initial chewing process the crunchy cookie bits overshadow the subtle popping and you can't feel anything at all. Once it's chewed and swallowed there is a residual popping candy sensation, but it's more like the few dwindling bubbles in a flat cola than a bold tongue-full of Pop-Rocks. It's a fun novelty idea, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired.

I tried dunking a cookie in milk to see if that made any difference, and you do hear some slight popping then, which is fun, but the overall popping effect in your mouth still didn't meet my expectations. If you want a popping candy, stick with Pop-Rocks.

Now, these are (pretty much) normal chocolate Oreos, and with all the hype behind limited edition flavors it's been quite some time since I've had a normal chocolate creme-filled cookie. It's almost like the infamous New Coke debacle. Once all the hype was gone, you learned to appreciate and cherish the original version just that much more.

With that in mind, these taste great and I am glad to have them in my pantry, but the whole limited edition popping gimmick is a big let-down. It's far too subtle to be worthy of the name, so I wouldn't recommend seeking these out and buying them for that alone, but maybe it's time to put all the limited edition flavors on hold and re-discover what was so great about classic Oreo cookies in the first place. (Although you can argue that the true classic is Hydrox cookies...but sorry guys, you just had to pick an uncatchy name.)

Sorry about your home troubles! But if it's any consolation, this happens to nearly everyone after they buy a home. In a few months you'll be all settled in and able to grin knowingly when you hear horror stories from other people!