A sarcastic veterinary blog dedicated to all of the money grubbing vets out there who are fed up with the insanity of the American public.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I'm Tired

Decades in this profession teach many lessons. For instance,
I’ve learned that there are two kinds of tired in this business. One version
comes from being so busy during your hours in the hospital that you blindly stumble
out to the car at the end of a day, pick up a bake at home pizza as you try to
remember where you live, cook it up while gulping down one neat bourbon, and
then fall asleep in the chair in front of the usual reruns before you finish
the third piece. More on this later.

The other kind of tired happens when nothing of consequence
happens for days at a time in the hospital, and you wear out the solitaire game
on the computer, and thus at the end of the day when you peek at tomorrow’s
bank deposit, it laughs at you. And when you sneak up on the bill file and peer
inside, it laughs even louder. On these nights you hit every red light, stalled
truck, radar trap, and road repair on the way home. When you finally make it to
the house, the good bourbon bottle is nearly empty, but the cheap shit will do,
and you have one or six, and the usual reruns are on the tube, but nothing in
the house will matter. You ain’t gonna sleep that night at all.

When the economy sucks like this one, those in our
profession get to know both versions. There is no rhyme or reason to what comes
through the front door, and you simply go with the flow, busy or slow, for the
boat has no oars, just like those oarsmen in government who would tell you they
can fix this mess. We are utterly at the mercy of what comes through the front
door, as are those folks who come in through the front door.

Today was one of those crazy busy, exhausting days.

I fired up the computer when I walked into the hospital at
7:15. The day’s appointments popped up. Two procedures booked for the 10-12
morning slot. A teeth cleaning on a dog belonging to a friend, and a double
enucleation, surgical removal of both eyes, on a cranky old Shih Tzu with
glaucoma in both eyes, and likely chronic pain. He has been blind for a while,
and now I will make him comfortable for the rest of his days.

The rest of the morning was completely booked, seven
appointments from 8:15 to 10. I ran through the usual things I must do to
prepare for the day. My receptionist arrived in her usual flurry of noise and
chaos, setting my stress level alarm off before I even start the day, just
before 8. I could hear her talking with someone in the parking lot. That
couldn’t be good.

I knew the guy. He has two Dobermans, one an absolute doll,
and the other so afraid of her own shadow that she thinks anyone petting her
will kill her, so she kills him first. She is a joy to work with in the
hospital. Of course he brings in the psycho one. She had been vomiting since
one AM, and the puke looked and smelled like poop. Bad sign. Oh, and she had
been eating those parts of the kong toy that the other dog chewed off.

The
xrays were classic obstruction of the small bowel. Time for forget everything else
and go to surgery. My receptionist went about calling clients and moving their
morning appointments to free up the time I would need. We were in surgery
shortly after nine.

The last of the morning’s surgery was done by 12:30. I hit
the bank, and the Chinese takeout, and I was back writing up the surgery records
by 1:00. The afternoon began at 1:30. Sixteen appointments awaited. I was approaching
tired already, and when the “I paid for part of this clinic and I deserve
special attention so forget my tomorrow appointment cause I’m here today”
walk-in showed up at 2 we tried to find a way to see her, too. I hope she
enjoyed the wait, for the courteous folks somehow got seen before this one.

I did finally see the mouth, and her cat wasn’t all that bad
off, and as she was leaving somebody noticed the weird people standing in front
of the clinic so I went out to see if any unreasonable crimes were being committed.
Introduce the filthy pet owner holding the puppy in a towel in her arms. The guy
translating for her, for her English was missing a few pieces, told me her
puppy wasn’t eating, was throwing up, and the diarrhea was bloody. Oh, and no,
the puppy had not been vaccinated.

I can describe tired pretty well, but I’m not sure I can
describe the sinking feeling this revelation rewarded me.I’ve watched hundreds of puppies die from
parvo during the thirty plus years this disease has existed. Every one died
because somebody didn’t vaccinate a puppy. Every freaking one. And they all
died horrid deaths.

Personally, I haven’t been hiding the fact that you can
vaccinate against this disease. I have no reason to. I thought it was common
knowledge. And I’ve tried to get the word out. But some folks are well isolated
from common knowledge.

I had clients waiting patiently to see me. Some were the very
folks who moved their appointments that morning so I could save a life. These
were clients who try their very best to be good pet owners. I suppose I could
screw them over to see this despicable person holding a sick puppy. That’s what
the puppy owner would prefer. And she will pay me later… she promises.

Thirty years of treating parvo in puppies belonging to irresponsible
people. I’ve heard this promise before. It’s not worth the paper it is printed
upon. When I turn and walk back into the clinic to take care of the nice people,
the memory of all those lies, all those thieves, all those lying cheating
irresponsible people whose reprehensible behavior killed all those innocent
puppies burns in my memory and my gut.

The woman hung around for a while. She walked into the
waiting room with the puppy so we had to lock the room and disinfect it….yet
again. When she finally left, she swore at us, the evil in her voice, the
hatred. But I was serving the people who pay my bills so I can stay open as a
veterinary hospital in these difficult times.

I’m sorry puppy. I’m sorry I can’t fix the mess that horrible
person inflicted upon you. But I cannot afford to carry the weight of every
irresponsible asshole. There are far too many irresponsible assholes. I’m barely surviving here at all, and those
nice people and their animals need me.

I left for home at 6:30. Everybody else left when we closed
at 5:30. Eleven hours. And I was tired.

Freakin parvo crazies!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately about half the parvo cases we see are "breeder vaccinated" puppies, I don't know if the breeders are lying or just don't know how to handle a MLV vaccine but it's an issue and the damn breeders tell people they are vaccinated and don't need to go to the vet for a month!!!!!!!!!!! I am a schlepp so I have spent cumulatively months of my existence teaching those losers to give the puppies reglan and cefazolin laced sub-Q fluids at home to the wretched little Pitts and shih tzus. That I can usually accomplish on the budget of one whose domicile has tires. No money is not an option though. And I won't put them in the hospital at a discount. All in all one of my least favorite cases. On the other hand your language difficulties in dealing with this highly valuable client are a clear signal that we need to eschew competence as a primary admission criteria and focus on diversity!

Well, it could have been worse. You could have had at least one, but more often, several of your "nice" people that were waiting inside your hospital become hostile because you didn't care enough to help that poor sick puppy out of the goodness of your heart. You love animals, right? You've taken an oath to save all animals, right? And they even offer to help pay for it...until you actually ask for their share and then they suddenly forget ever saying that. That's how things tend to go on those tiring days at the hospital I work at.

Things

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