Friday, June 24, 2011

Jaded vs. Optimism... You Choose

I’ve often wondered why people speak into existence things they say they don't want… And preface there conjunctive conclusions with, “but”…. I wonder if they realize that everything they said before the “but” becomes a lie upon the injection… (but – cancels out your intentions... i.e, I was going to the store, but.... (YOU GET IT).

Emotions are instant reactions that others are able to recognize… immediately. Becoming jaded is a process that's potentially undetectable until it's too late. It creeps up on you like vodka; you have a few shots and you’re not feeling anything, then bang, out of nowhere you're smashed. Being jaded is one's subconscious decision to be cut off from the rest of the world and yet one can physically be around other people but emotionally disconnected… Even if he/she still has a social life with friends and random short term relationships such as dating or casual sex this doesn't mean their not jaded. It's means they've found sublevel substitutions to help take their mind off of things for a while but when the party's over rebounding with whatever activity puts then right back where they started - Jaded!

Webster describes the term JADED as Tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something.... world-weary, jaundiced, fed up, cynical, and overstimulated. What happens when we have too many options? Upon reflection, when I combine my age, my life experiences… I could take the high road here and say I’m jaded, but I shan't. I refuse to give that word power. I choose optimism. God loves me enough to protect me from excess pain and I feel blessed when he warns me… I had my feelings hurt before.... I could’ve thrown up my hands, in the end, I made a choice, their loss is anothers gain and my learning experiences are to be valued as such. I believe, that episodes as such makes one really appreciate the good people I do have in my life.

Let me share a story with you… When I was 8, I remember walking outside of the house and seeing my Grandpa, kneeling in the lawn, just looking at some flowers in our flowerbeds. He wasn’t weeding or feeding, them – he was just looking at them. Me, being a typical, inquisitive nature child,… I said, “paw-paw, whatcha doing”. Instead of getting swatted for my impertinence, my Grandpa, entertained my inquisition. Tippy (my nickname), "Every one of these flowers here came from the same momma plant. From a tiny little seed about the size of a grain of sand. I’m remember replying, “Like the ones down on Olcott”? He said, yes “Tippy” like Olcott…. only each and every one of them is slightly different.

I’m now 35 and I’m truly understanding what he meant. Everyone isn’t the same and shouldn’t be classified as such. Being jaded just reflects repeating the same old patterns. Since 92% of communication is about non-verbal & 8% is verbal, I vowed to learn what it takes to overcome "adversity”. After all, ones quality of life is determined by the quality of questions we ask ourselves. I've learned to fixed me and as my friend BB (Control What I can control)..., as I realized that bitterness and being jaded leads to fear, fear leads to the dark side and depravity to anger, anger to hate and hate leads to suffering. Who wan'ts all that... I never witnessed pessimism win a heart of greater depth. So too, it is not the will to love, but the will to prepare to love that makes all the difference.

When we look around in this beautiful world, with all its diversity and innate beauty – there is so much the universe has to offer us… Life is all about take risks with that someone WORTH SUFFERING for...Bob Marley.... It’s time to clear the mindset of the excess that creates rot. I’m no dummy, I recognize, it's impractical to trust everyone…. but leave a little room in your mind for the possibilities (Love Jones’n… )…. Being JADED is a habit! Break it... Live in the optimistic!