Do you remember in the 90s when
there was this huge “thug life” thing going on? Shady types getting
money doing shady things. Andocides, the 5th century BCE rhetor,
would have fit fell into that world. Even though he may have been
acquainted with Socrates, he was more interested in roving with his
friends of rabble-rousers. He was born to wealth and lived as what
one editor called “a hot-headed young man-about-town with more
money than sense” (321).

His carefree life came to a hard
stop after a significant act of vandalism. Andocides was accused of
multition of the Herms right before an Athenian expedition against
Sicily--exactly not the time that you want to get the gods mad at
you. Everyone was shocked. The act was seditious and blasphemous.
Athens could forgive some offences, but not parodying the
most intimate religious beliefs on the eve of war. The act was seen
as an affront against democracy from exactly the kind of rich snobs
who would want to consolidate power. Numbers of the stone images of
Hermes were mutated across Athens in one night. Just as quickly,
informers sprang up to place the blame. Forty two members of the
riotous party were named. Andocides was one of the
accused.

But when they threw Andocides
into prison, he did what all those 90s gangsters warned about--he
turned snitch. He revealed the names of everyone who was involved,
and, although he was an accomplice, he was still exiled from Athens
and had his citizenship stripped from him. It turned out worse for
the four men that he snitched on--they were all put to
death.

But if you’re a young man of
wealth, a little thing like state-defying vandalism and sending
four people to their deaths doesn’t get you down. He traveled the
city states of Greece, making friends with powerful people.
Powerful and shady, but powerful. Andocides came back to Athens
during the oligarchy and it didn’t go well--he narrowly missed
being sentenced to death and was imprisoned. Later, he was set
free, or maybe he escaped. The historical record is hazy on that
detail.

So you can see the kind of life
that he lived. And it reflects in his greatest speeches. On His
Return was written as an attempt to get back into the city’s good
graces. The reasons for his exile was fresh in their minds, and he
openly admits his guilt. He claims to be a changed man: “my
behavior today,” he says “is much more in keeping with my character
than my behavior then” (26). He had been foolish and he had been
unlucky--dreadfully unlucky. “No one came near suffering the
sorrows which I suffered” (9). However, he points out, he is rich.
That wealth can bring in a lot of corn to prevent famine. It also
buys a lot of naval support. And he is willing to use his wealth to
help Athens. “I have been reckless of both life and goods when
called up” in an effort ”to render this city such a service as
would sipose you to let me at last resume my rights as your fellow”
(10).

Unfortunately, Andocides’ bad
luck continued. Before he even began his speech, people were
muttering against him. It might not help that he smugly referred to
his accusors as “either the most stupid of mankind or the worst of
public enemies” (1) and preemptively said that he would forgive the
people all the wrongshesuffered (27). He still comes across as a rich
snot weasling his way back.

Andocides did finally get back
to Athens under a general amnesty after yet another political
overthrow. For 3 years, everything was coming up Andocides. He held
important roles in political cultural life. His influence was
growing and everyone was forgetting his youthful
indescretions.

And then enemies old and new
began to circle. Callias II, along with some others, created a
legal case against him, arguing that the amnesty shouldn’t have
applied to Andocides and that he should be kept out of the assembly
and, oh yeah, how about put to death for rebellion? While he again
had to confront the ghosts of his past,Andocides had some
advantages this time.

For one thing, time had passed.
People had moved on and forgotten much of the outrage they felt in
the several political upheavals they had been suffering since then.
Also, Andocides had become a productive member of society, totally
supporting the city in many facets. It seems that Andocides had
also learned to temper his rhetoric. “On the Mysteries” was a plea
for his life, but it’s also a thrilling piece of legal rhetoric. He
refutes claims that he was involved in other acts of blasphemy and
sedition and recalls his very minor role in the destruction of the
herms. He also changes tactic from deigning to absolve Athens
of the wrongs they had done him to emphasizing Athen’s positive
qualities. “The whole of Greece,” he says “thinks that you have
shown the greatest generosity and wisdom in devoting yourselves,
not to revenge, but to the preservation of your city and the
reuniting of its citizens...do not change your ways” (140). He
calls on his family heritage “Our house is the oldest in Athens,”
he says, “and has always been the first to open its doors to those
in need” (147). He even makes the people of Athens his family: “It
is you who must act as my father and my brothers and my children.
It is with you that I seek refuge. It is to you that I turn with my
entreaties and my prayers. You must plead with yourselves for my
life, and save it” (149). Wow--you see what he did there? He
recruited the jury to be his advocates. It’s powerful stuff and it
went a lot better than “On the Return”--maybe time and
circumstances have changed, but I think Andocides also became a
more savvy speaker. “On the Mysteries” is a whole lot less cocky
and more compelling than on the return. The verdict was in his
favor and after that no one dragged up Andocides’ youthful thug
life.

If you have a favorite ancient
rhetorician gangster, why not tell us about it atmererhetoricpodcast@gmail.com? I love hearing from listeners,
even if they’re snitching on ancient Greek thinkers.

About the Podcast

A podcast for beginners and insiders about the people, ideas and movements that have defined the history of rhetoric.