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1.15.2011

Sugarbabe

Ever wonder what life is like for the young, beautiful woman on the arm of a distinguished and successful businessman? Well Holly Hill has put her adventure as such to paper and ended up with Sugarbabe: The Controversial Real Story of a Woman in Search of a Sugar Daddy.

It all began when Holly started dating John. He was a rich and powerful man, and although he had a wife, Holly was convinced he would leave her and they would live happily ever after. John took her shopping for the most expensive clothing and lingerie available, he took her to the fanciest restaurants and he even paid her rent. Life was great. Soon after they started dating, Holly quit her job as a practicing psychologist and stayed at home to start writing a novel. Everything seemed to be heading in the right direction until John's wife found out about the affair and demanded for it to stop. Using extreme measures to stop the affair, Holly was suddenly cut off and heartbroken. Not only was she sick with the loss of her relationship, but she quickly realized she was flat broke too.

What is a girl to do now? Normally we'd say she get a job and "get back out there"... but one of Holly's friends had a very different idea. An idea that started a joke and suddenly became the most brilliant idea Holly has ever heard. She is good at cooking and cleaning, loves sex and to be spoiled, is a former psychologist so she is an excellent listener and wants it all- without the strings and expectations of a relationship. Holly doesn't want to fall in love, but she does want to feel secure. What's the next best thing to dating a rich man who will spend all his money on you? Finding a rich man to PAY you to be a "girlfriend". Sounds like an escort right? Well, it kind of is.

Holly ends up placing an ad online for a "sugar daddy" and surprisingly gets a LOT of responses. Some are just horny teenagers looking to meet up, but most are legitimate "business" offers. Suddenly Holly finds herself putting a price on her "services" and trying to figure out where her boundaries begin and end. How far is she willing to go to pay the rent and live the 'high life'. Holly interviews her applicants {it just continues to sound more and more legit} and finds a suitable "daddy".

As Holly begins her career as a Sugarbabe, she learns a lot about herself, men and the ideas of marriage and monogamy. As a psychologist, she helps her men figure out why they are looking for someone like her and in almost all instances she helps them. She also realizes that maybe the concept of monogamy isn't attainable. Isn't in our biology's to act a certain way? Men sow their seeds and women nest. Is it fair to expect a man to change his biologically driven behaviors? Holly realized that love doesn't equal sex- both for her and especially for the men she was courting. These men weren't looking to fall in love with her- they were just looking for a women who would listen, have fun and have sex with them- seemingly exactly what their wives did before they got "bored".

Holly has very strong opinions throughout the book- but it is ultimately left up to the reader to answer the bigger questions... is monogamy really attainable?... does sex always have to equate with an emotion?... are men really more sexually advanced than women?.... is the institution of marriage a joke?

Personally, I liked the memoir because it was entertaining... and I do agree with some overall statements, especially those pertaining to sex lives of monogamous couples- if the sex disappears and no one talks it out, cheating may be the "answer". I say this with a heavy emphasis on talking- in all relationships if partners don't communicate, all the "solutions" to the "problems" will be found elsewhere. This includes sex, food, conversation and company. Doesn't make it right but does make it much more plausible. But I strongly disagree with the idea that monogamy and marriage are worn out institutions that should be altered. I think for some relationships and couples, this is true- but in those relationships both parties discuss their needs and discuss {and agree} on how to reach them. I think monogamy and the institution of marriage is possible- you just need to find the right person and you better know yourself. The key to making a relationship work is a combination of three things: love, communication and knowing yourself. When you know what you want, need, desire, expect and can do for the relationship you can open up and communicate with your partner more freely, ultimately leading to a healthier and happier relationship. Loved this book, but didn't love all the assumptions.So weigh in... I'd love to hear other opinions