Vikings forfeit playoff spot due to having crappy fans

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has decided it would be “in the best interests of the NFL” to have the Packers host Philadelphia instead of Minnesota. As word spreads about the chance that the scheduled playoff game this weekend pitting Minnesota against Philadelphia may not sell out, because 45% of Vikings season ticket holders have not purchased their tickets yet, Goodell determined action needed to be taken.

“The Vikings have earned their playoff berth technically by winning the most games in the NFC North. But I’d be lying if I said the NFL was excited to see the Vikings make it instead of the Packers. The Packers have much better fans. In fact, the Packers sell out pre-season games, not to mention regular season games and of course, they’d sell out a playoff game before the tickets even went on sale. In any event, the NFL has decided that it would be in the best interests of the NFL to have the Packers host Philadelphia instead this weekend. We believe it would be a better game and bring more money to our pockets ultimately, which is really all we’re after”.

(Goodell also reportedly muttered under his breath after making this decision that not allowing Minnesota to play would spare viewers from having to see Jared Allen’s unbelievably bad mullet).

Franken certainly wasn’t my first choice but in my opinion pretty much anyone is better than Coleman. He follows wherever the wind blows which means he is even less trustworthy than the average politician. Franken has his own issues but he’s shown himself to be intelligent and I agree with most of his positions.