Last fall, I shot my first whitetail deer. It was my third year hunting for deer and my first real chance I had at shooting one, so I took it.

I had my doe permit and therefore was legally able to shoot one. I am not a sport hunter looking for a big rack. I just want good, fresh, local meat to put in the freezer to feed my family. So, on opening day, minutes after the sun came up, my eyes followed a doe walking towards me and when she came closer, I pulled the trigger.

She dropped dead instantly. I had shot her through the heart.

Meet your meat.

After dragging her out of the woods, I hung her up and removed her hide. I rolled it up and put it into my freezer. I knew I was not going to have time for it now and would save it for another time (coming soon!).

I broke the body down and iced it. I had never butchered an animal bigger than a chicken before but I was determined to do this myself. I’ll spare you all the details — you can read about those in a book. I recommend The Beginner’s Guide to Hunting Deer for Food by Jackson Landers. It was my guide and it served me well.

Breaking down the deer. Notice the book behind me.

What I want to write about here though is what I did with the deer’s head.

I had read about burying the head in the ground to let the bugs clean it up and decided I’d give it a try. I took my ax and severed the head from the body. The deer’s eyes were glassy and it’s tongue hung from it’s open mouth. This was a death metal album personified.

I dug a deep hole near my vegetable garden and tossed the head and legs in. I then covered it with soil (not before snapping a pic) and placed an old plastic bin over the top of it to keep the animals away.

It’s like planting vegetable seeds, only it’s far more brutal.

The leaves fell and the snow came.

Throughout the winter, I often thought about that frozen deer head in the ground, wondering if it would still be there come spring. I mean, there was always the off chance that it would get possessed by a demon, dig itself out of its grave, and torture me in my sleep.

Too many horror movies. Too much death metal.

Well, spring arrived and the ground begin to thaw and I began to think of the head more and more. Eventually, after a few months of thawed ground, I decided it was time to dig it up.

I went outside as the sun began to set and like some perverted grave robber, began to dig up the shallow grave.

Daylight was fading fast so I was working quickly. I hurriedly but carefully dug as not to damage the skull. When some dirty white began to show, I dropped the shovel and used my hands to clear the dirt away.

Isn’t it beautiful?!?

I pulled the skull up out of the ground and was overwhelmed by a pungent stench. Some skin and fur still dangled from the head and from out the back of the skull dripped some partially decomposed brain.

It was fucking disgusting.

I retched but did not vomit. Excitement quickly overcame my disgust.

I grabbed the hose and began spraying the skull and bones. Whatever fur or flesh was left on them was now peeling off with ease. However, the brain-mush was still attached in places inside of the skull. A knife and screwdriver were necessary to remove those bits.

After the bone was free of all flesh, I gave them all a quick wash and placed them into a bucket of Hydrogen Peroxide. I felt like a goddamn mad scientist. Check out the video of the peroxide bubbling:

I left them there for days to whiten them.

I then removed the skull and bones, sprayed them off once again, and let them dry in the sun. After they were dry, I sprayed them with a clear matte glaze to better preserve them.

Lastly, I attached the skull to a piece of live-edge wood.

It was all a hell of an experience (probably the most metal thing I have ever done and I’ve seen Mayhem live). I hope to take part in it again this coming year. Only this time, I hope to get myself a buck because although I earlier stated that I did not care about getting a big rack, that was only partially true. I would absolutely love to have a big rack to mount on my wall.

Lucky for me, I’ve spotted a buck only a short walk from my home. Unlucky for him, I know he’s there. My 30.06 rifle scope is sighted-in and I’m ready to kill again.

Soundtrack for digging up a decomposing deer head:Cannibal Corpse – “Skull Full of Maggots”

This needs no explanation. Of course I picked this song!

It’s not every day you get to live out the lyrics to a Cannibal Corpse song without being put in prison for the rest of your life. Hashtag blessed! (Did I do that right?)

Lying there cold after a torturous death. Your life ended fast you took your last breath. Dead in a grave, your final place. The maggots infest your disfigured face.