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Let’s just dive right into it because there’s quite a bit to cover here.

Over the past week, actor and “comedian” Kevin Hart has come under fire for past tweets that conveyed some bigoted and, in some cases violent, views around Gay people. Here are just a few of them:

Haha……or whatever.

Many people attempted to brush this off by saying that these tweets are “old” and “you have to give people a chance to change.” Here’s the thing about that…yes, I absolutely believe in giving people the opportunity to change. Opportunity. That doesn’t mean coddling and assuming change. Bigotry doesn’t magically disappear with time; it takes intentional work, an active desire to un/learn and tangible action. I still need to see intentionality and evidence of growth; neither of which he’s shown. The best he’s done is avoid talking about the subject and that, in and of itself, is not a sign of growth.

We literally have a 70+ year-old racist/anti-LGBTQ/misogynist/ableist/etc. sitting in the white house right now. Time didn’t just magically cure an ounce of President Tangerine’s bigotry, now did it? And given that anti-LGBTQ hate crimes are actually increasing, why would we just assume that people are magically learning not to hate LGBTQ people?

Some Kevin apologists have cited an interview he did for Rolling Stone back in 2015 as (the lone) evidence that he apologized…even though it wasn’t an apology, at all. He never actually admitted wrongdoing, or made clear that he wouldn’t project his insecurities around Gayness and femininity onto his son—let alone bothering to do the work of unlearning his views. He simply said that he wouldn’t make those kinds of “jokes” anymore because people are “too sensitive” these days and he wanted to avoid backlash. If that’s your idea of an apology worthy of our acceptance, then let’s just stop right here, acknowledge that you think very little of Gay people and go. [Read more…]

A PSA for my fellow Gay men, and perhaps anyone else in the LGBTQ community.

I’m gonna start this by laying out a little scenario:

Let’s say you’re a Gay man who primarily has non-LGBTQ (a.k.a. cisgender-heterosexual or “straight”) men as friends (which you likely applaud yourself for, daily…but that’s another issue). Y’all are just casually hanging out and they’re all talking about sex. They’re exchanging stories of their recent “conquests,” and are having an absolute ki. And then, you try to chime about your last sexual experience, in the exact same way that they just did.

…but you feel the good vibes noticeably drop. It gets awkward, and you immediately get the hint that you should back off from your story. You deflate, retreat into your own head (where you’ll likely quietly replay that moment in a cringeworthy loop), and let them take back over the conversation.

This is likely not an unfamiliar experience for Gay men who hang around folks who are non-LGBTQ. And many people’s go-to response may be to just roll with it and not see it as a big deal. But let’s be clear about one thing: [Read more…]

This is actually something that, after years of explaining, I’ve grown entirely bored with. However, this is a topic that comes up over and over again. So I want to give it a place on my blog for posterity.

RE: “I love Gay people. I just disagree with their lifestyle.”

First of all, falsely characterizing my sexual identity as a “lifestyle” that can be disagreed with is trash from the outset. Who I’m sexually and romantically attracted to is not a “lifestyle.” It’s simply who I’m sexually and romantically attracted to. Is there a such thing as a (Black) Gay culture and community? Absolutely, but Black Gay and Queer folks aren’t synonymous with that. Similarly to Black people, as a whole, Gay/Queer/SGL folks are not a monolith. Attraction to the same sex isn’t always synonymous with whatever your stereotypical ideas of Queerness are.

At 30 years old, I’ve been on this “Gay thot” shit for a good while and have amassed a lot of observations about Gay sexuality and how we tend to operate. It’s mostly been some great, if not epic, times had, but man…

I wanna close out 2017 by calling in all of you total tops and highlight a few of your common behaviors that you really need to cut. Bottoms are fed up, and it’s time for you to do better or get left assless.

Let’s plunge right into it (FYI, this piece might have a few puns…you’re gonna deal with that).

That awkward moment when you’re casually browsing Twitter and come across this shit:

Obviously, the irony (and sheer gall) of an organization, literally named after a riot, condemning any and all violence as protest is the first thing that pops out. Even more so, since the incident that sparked their response was Trans women responding in self-defense to anti-Trans activists…much like the very historical event that this organization named itself after. And this was swiftly pointed out by much of Twitter. Myself included:

For the record, if someone wants to spearhead making “Tea & Orgies” a thing, I’m down to help make that into a reality

But I’d like to go a step further and talk about the respectability of these liberal, white-run organizations that claim to center LGBTQ equality and activism. Specifically, how their position can actually make them a hindrance to the very causes they claim to exist for. [Read more…]