Tuesday, 16 April 2013

bird watching

I noticed recently I have a bit of a collection I didn't know about. I looked around one day and realised, and once I noticed it I kept finding more and more-in my house, in my wardrobe, and in my jewellery.
Birds. They are everywhere. Not owls, which I know some people collect (although I have one or two thrown in), but more like swallows. I have had some of the things for 5 or so years.
I have ornaments.

I have necklaces.

I have bedding.

I have lots of Christmas decorations, which are packed away.

I have clothing.

I have cushions.

The thing is-I hate birds. Loath them. They are flappy and unpredictable (I definitely see the irony with relation to my job...). I think they are dusty and dirty (which is probably untrue for most birds)-like rats of the air. I had bad experiences with swooping magpies as a child, my 20 minute walk to school could take 45 during swooping season due to detours. You know how if you look at them they aren't supposed to swoop you? Well I have definite memories of looking right at a birds beak as it flew directly at me.
In recent years I had a horrifying experience with plovers-evil cousins of magpies with sharp horns on their wings. I had to run towards the plovers, after my student who thought it was hilarious-until the birds started swooping us, and I had to tackle him to the grass to protect him. I don't know who squealed louder-me or him or the birds. Plus they have beady eyes... I can't even bring myself to watch Alfred Hitchcock's movie.

That movie is still kinda creepy .. even after all these years! I am not a bird person either. Last summer one got in the house when a door was left open and it took forever to get it out. I get goosebumps when I think about it..