I've come to reconsider where I stand on the whole copyright issue, in regards to work that appears on my blog. If you happen to see art that I've created on this blog and it inspires you, by all means go ahead and appropriate it. If you want to modify it, scraplift it, use only parts of it or copy it outright, you have my permission to do so here. If you want to give me credit, fine. If you don't, that's okay too. I've been inspired by countless other people in all walks of life and I believe that generosity of spirit is much greater than any personal pride or glory I could achieve from claiming to be the first or the best to do anything. The sole exception to this would be photos of my family, to protect their privacy.
The vintage images that appear in this blog are digitally altered and colored by scrapologie. Feel free to use them for your personal use, however you like!

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February 2015

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January 08, 2015

Hello, friends. I've been absent for over a year, for a number of reasons. My life has changed dramatically over the course of a year. Here's a quick update of things that have happened in 2014:

I accepted a new position as a Learning and Performance Consultant with my employer in April and started my new role in May. Not only was this a considerable promotion for me, but it also was the dream job which I had been working to achieve for nearly a year prior to receiving the offer. I was blessed to find a wonderful, intelligent and caring mentor who helped me position myself for an interview and subsequently a job offer. It is an understatement to say I love my job. I wake up with a smile on my face every morning and realize what a difference it makes when you are engaged in work that is meaningful and relevant. I have a dream job, dream boss and a dream team of co-workers. I couldn't be more grateful for the blessings I have received!

Along with this wonderful new beginning, there were also many endings. I separated from my spouse of twenty years in May. I will attest that marriages can, in fact, end gracefully with mutual respect and friendship. We are at peace and remain friends for the sake of our daughter, but also because we are both just good human beings at the core of our existence. A lot of people don't get this. They don't understand why we will continue to celebrate Christmas together, or vacation together for the sake of our child, so that she grows up understanding that though her parents are no longer married, and though they are no longer in love, they can treat each other with respect and dignity. At the end of the day, they love each other as human beings, and for what they were able to learn from one another. I don't expect everyone to get that. And that's okay.

There were other endings - one that was unbelievably tough for me. In August, my older sister passed away very unexpectedly, leaving three motherless sons and a grieving family. Her death brought into focus the fragility of life and how short our time is on earth. It made me resolve to live life fully, with gratitude each and every day. It made me resolve to embrace every relationship and to choose happiness and kindness above everything. I think about her often and I know her spirit is present.

In August, I was also accepted to the graduate program (MS in Instructional Design and Performance Technology) at Franklin University. I started the program and with two classes under my belt and a 4.0 average, I am very proud of my accomplishments. It isn't easy holding down a full time job, being a single parent, going to school and making the A's I should have gotten as an undergraduate student. But I am proof that it can be done. I was once told that I would never make it into graduate school and there was no point even trying with my lackluster undergraduate performance. I was told that no credible program would accept me. WRONG. Every person deserves a second chance. Everyone who falls deserves a chance to get up again and fly. Don't ever let the naysayers bring you down - if you listen to them long enough, you start to believe their negativity.

Shortly before Christmas, Alekha asked me to give her photos of the two of us together so she could make a handmade Christmas present for me. I struggled to find photos of the two of us together. There were countless photos I had taken of her alone, in my quest to document her life, and many of Alekha with her daddy. I then found the photo below of the two of us at her birthday party last summer. I realized I need to take more photos with her - so she remembers her childhood, in the Summer and Autumn of her own life, and she remembers that she had a mother who loved her wildly. The picture below is not perfect, but I love it - because in it, I see how much I love her, and how much I love being her mother. There is nothing more important, satisfying or meaningful to me than my love for her and the time we spend together.

I'm still in a whirlwind of activity, and will be for the next year and a half, but I wouldn't have my life any other way right now. I continue to make memories for and with my daughter, and above all, I strive to live my life with grace.

Happy 2015 to you, dear friend. Wishing you peace, love that knows no walls, and grace in everything you do. Let your light shine from within.

November 09, 2013

Hello friends, I've missed blogging and making art, but I never stop thinking about both. I've been exceptionally busy this year. I hope you've been well. For me, this has mostly been a year of learning to balance home, work, motherhood, friendships and health while still taking time to pursue some of my interests. Here are some of the things I've been up to this year:

- Work has amped up busier than ever. I've been meeting regularly with three mentors at work and have been researching a career change while maintaining my current job. Recently, my employer agreed to finance my masters degree, for which I am so very grateful!

- As a result of the above, I've applied for the graduate program in Instructional Design and Performance Technology at Franklin University and plan to start coursework this January.

- I was selected for my employer's regional Diversity and Inclusion Council, promoting cultural and diversity themed events at my company, in the capacity of an event coordinator. This has been immensely rewarding for me; I've been able to help promote diversity awareness and educate our workforce about the importance of embracing diversity. Our world is changing, and with it, our attitudes and the way in which we view those who are different from us must change as well, if we are to succeed in working together to build a better future for generations to come.

- My little girl turned 10 this year. She's been very busy herself with her own activities. She reads voraciously, has been involved in gymnastics, Girl Scouts and Kumon, and was one of 6 girls from her school selected by OSU's Women In Engineering for their Jasz Bots program which is affiliated with First Lego League. This team of fifth grade girls meet with female grad students in OSU's engineering department twice a week, for two and a half hours after school. Together, they have researched a topic on FLL's theme this year (Nature's Fury) and are working on ideas and ways to combat their chosen environmental disaster (wildfires). In addition, they have built and programmed a Lego robot; the team will compete utilizing their robot at an upcoming event in December. It's a great introduction for girls to a potential future career in engineering.

- I've continued my commitment to fitness and nutrition, continuing to hit the gym 5 nights a week, both cardio as well as weights/resistance training and core exercises.

- I've become very interested in organic foods and natural wellness products, as well as meditation and wellness in general.

- I've connected with old friends and made several new ones. I have enjoyed the fulfillment brought by these relationships, and particularly by doing for and helping others when I can, as I am grateful for the love and help they constantly give me.

- I made some time for fun as well, traveling to Orlando and Disney with Alekha in mid-October, during Epcot's Food and Wine Festival. We also got to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios, which Alekha and I both loved!

- I've continued my pursuit of photography, though I haven't had time to sit down and edit photos!

- I spent some quality time with my parents, who I love dearly and are slowing down a bit.

- Lastly, I spent a lot of time in quiet reflection and introspection, pondering the life I'd like to lead, the things I have yet to do, the places I've yet to see and the memories I have yet to make.

I am happy, and life has been good. I do miss blogging and keeping in touch with all my online friends, but think of you all frequently, and wish you all happiness and peace. I am looking forward to what 2014 brings.

“...I want first of all - in fact, as an end to these other desires - to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact - to borrow from the language of the saints -to live 'in grace' as much of the time as possible. I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense. By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony...” (Anne Morrow Lindbergh)

February 10, 2013

So
Alekha came home from school the other day to tell me that a boy in her
class called her "fat" but then also called her "skimpy". Of course, my
natural defensive Mommy instinct was "WTF?!" and I was very annoyed.
But I was very proud of the way she handled the situation, she told me
she didn't let it bother her and she ignored him. I then proceeded to
tell her that sometimes, nine-year-old boys are mean because they just
don't know better. Sometimes it's because they secretly want the
nine-year-old girl's attention. And sometimes it's because they are just
acting out. But I was proud of her because there have been occasions
where people have said unkind things about her height (calling her a
"giant") that have made her cry, and I've repeatedly told her that it
doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of her - that's unimportant. What matters is what she knows to be true of herself. It then made me
realize that someday, it's likely that she will get her heart broken by
someone. And though I can't protect her from it, I daresay it will make
her a stronger person. And I realize that one of the most important
lessons I can teach my daughter about being a strong woman is to never
forget her inner Queen. Queens don't make bargains, Queens don't run
after a man who is walking in the opposite direction, Queens walk always
with their head held high. Queens epitomize grace. Queens don't
necessarily need a king, either. (Elizabeth I comes to mind!) For now,
I'll start with her princess training. I can tell already that she has
the makings of a fine Queen....

January 20, 2013

You've grown so much this year. Not just physically, though you've certainly shot up in height, and are just a few inches shorter than me. I see the growth that is taking place inside you as well: mentally, emotionally, spiritually and in many other ways. In nothing else have I been so fortunate in life as in having been given the gift that is you. Childhood is fleeting, and I try to make the most of every day with you. Some days I come home tired and exhausted, and wishing I could do more for you. But I do the best I can, and I know you will always know how much I love you.

Seeing the changes that are taking place every day makes me want to hang on to these days, and hold them in the palm of my hands forever. But as I know that cannot happen, I want to atleast journal and document some of the changes I've witnessed:

You're growing into a beautiful young girl (inside and out). As your own mother, I shouldn't be the one to say it, but looking at you takes my breath away.

You started gymnastics this year. At 5'4", you tower over all the other petite girls, much like your mother did when I was your age. But you lack nothing in grace, and I can see your confidence building with each new thing you learn.

You've expressed a desire to play soccer, so we'll start that this year as well. I'm thrilled that you're finally showing interest in sports!

You love to read, and your favorite pastime is spending hours reading books. Your reading program at school requires you to read 500 pages every nine weeks. At this point the total requirement for the school year so far has been 1500 pages. You've already logged over 12,000 pages! You enjoyed the Lemony Snicket series and are constantly reading multiple books at the same time.

You spent a whole weekend researching Native Americans and doing a written report to turn in to Mrs. Conley - just because you wanted to! It was your idea, it wasn't assigned as a homework project, but you showed such initiative in doing this extra work. I was so proud of you!

You spend hours with your friends listening to your favorite band (One Direction) and you have a crush on Niall.

You really truly believe that girls can do anything boys can do!

You stand up for yourself and for others when you witness someone being treated unfairly - so proud of you!

You are very sensitive to the needs of others - something I love about you!

You love telling me things you learned at school - explaining photosynthesis, chemical reactions and things you learn about the Native Americans. Your vocabulary has improved even though you make me smile at times with your usage (you asked me what happens when someone goes into a "comma", and I couldn't help but giggle when I explained that it was a "coma", not a "comma").

Your best friends are Rachel, Mattie and Lauren - you text Rachel a lot. You and Lauren are frequent playmates and you make up dances, sing out loud to One Direction, make homemade videos of each other, have fashion shows and generally enjoy being girls!

You have a burgeoning sense of fashion which is different from mine! You love clothes and accessories from Justice and lean towards bright neon colors and wild animal prints.

The years you spent in private school at Ecole Francaise made you a sensitive and loving child, particularly around children younger than you. You love your cousins and are loving and caring when three year old Vishnu follows you around everywhere.

You need your "me" time just like Mommy - and you spend it doing projects, arts and crafts, reading, listening to music, or painting your nails.

You are a homebody and prefer staying at home to going anywhere.

You enjoy being a girl scout, even though we have to push you out the door to scout meetings.

Your favorite snack is hot chocolate and popcorn during a movie.Your favorite movie right now is Despicable Me. You quote from it frequently.

You love your Goldendoodle Murphy like a sibling and take good care of him.

You still love having Mommy read you bedtime stories and tucking you in with a glass of warm milk.

You just started sleeping in your own bed, after seven years of sleeping with Mommy in her bed. That was bittersweet for me - I miss cuddling you at bedtime, but know that I have to let you grow up.... even though I can't help but want to say to you....