Forget about nuclear weapons destroying the world. Jeremy Corbyn will do that just fine. So when I saw the headline in the Evening Standard yesterday, my heart filled with dread. “I’m Prime Minister in waiting”, it said. What exactly has the world come to?

Corbyn is a man whose front garden is as rugged and chaotic as his policies, whose suits have been bought in the sale down the High Street and whose few allies plead with the government to stop “bullying him”. You see, Corbyn is the sort of guy who would cook a lovely asparagus soup on a Thursday night before sitting down with you to watch EastEnders with some raspberry lemonade. But he is not the person you want as Prime Minister.

I want a Prime Minister who has charisma, sharpness and intellect. Corbyn has none of those. Oh yes, and perhaps someone with one or two brain cells. The real problem with Jeremy though is that he is an idealist. And the problem with being an idealist is that you tend to dwell on tiny issues which are easy to perfect rather than the big issues which actually matter. He is also too radical which means only a small proportion of the electorate actually like him. He talks about equality, but his style fuels inequality because he tends to support a particular type of person and ends up ignoring the interests of anyone more to the right of Ed Miliband-which is just about everyone.

So what would happen if Corbyn did become PM? Well because most of his MPs cannot stand him, it looks like he will have to recruit the local leftie off Parliament Square holding a ‘Peace’ sign as Foreign Secretary. He’s already said he would not push the nuclear button which means Putin and Kim Jong-un could do whatever they wanted. And Trump would probably declare war on Britain because we elected a hard-left socialist.

But we should not worry. A desire to work for Corbyn is so few and far between, that Abbott, Mcdonnell and Corbyn himself will have to be the candidate for election in over 200 constituencies. And even if Corbyn did pull it off, Corbyn’s history as a republican means he would refuse to attend Buckingham Palace and the Queen would have to look for a replacement. You can’t have it both ways Jeremy!

So whether you voted for a new kind politics or not, that only means something if your party gets elected. And there’s little chance of that under Corbyn’s leadership.