TRAILER: Count the action-movie tropes in ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’

Though we may be knee deep in Oscar prestige now, a bottomless morass of self-congratulation, we’re only a handful of weeks away from Silly Season, the post-Oscars lull when studios dump their most lackluster fart bombs, then quickly step off the elevator, casually whistling. In what I’m sure is pure coincidence, that’s when Fox releases A Good Day to Die Hard (February 14th, to be precise), the fifth of the Die Hard series, from new-to-the-franchise director John Moore, who last directed Max Payne and The Omen. But how to reinvigorate a lagging franchise about a cop who keeps getting caught in terrorist attacks? Give John McClane a son, Chad McClane, er, Jack McClane, played by Jack Reacher bad guy Jai Courtney. He’s a secret agent, of course! BOOM, a new franchise is Bourne, yo.

Let’s see if we can count the action-movie tropes packed into 180 seconds:

I would pay premium theatre prices to see a movie with the tagline “Bewbs haz teh jiggle. Many ‘splodes”. You got into the wrong racket, Mancini. There’s money to be made riding those studios’ fart elevators