Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Harness your Humans!

Winning the Competition for Customers is all about Managing your Resources for Optimum Output. The Global Race for Dominance requires using every Assett to it's Greatest Potential and being at the Vanguard of Change. The Company which Succeeds at Evolving to meet the Challenges of the Economics of Tomorrow will win the Great Contest through Effective Application of Innovation in Technology.

Oh, and this will involve Humans too. We must not forget the human factor. At least for a few more years, Humans are going to be integral. And even afterwards, they are still going to be the main buyers of our product, whatever that is.

("A human resource professional is the voice of those people..." somebody actually approved that line. You can't make this up.)

What exactly is the message here? "Go out and develop some people. People make great worker drones. Plus there are so many of them, and more are being made every day. Go out and get yours, you won't be sorry. They work like crazy, and for no money down, and they are so amazingly replaceable too!"

So for now....use your humans! Keep them working and smiling (but above all working.) Help them form Team Networks which are never, ever off the clock (remind them that the sun is always shining somewhere on the planet- and that the company is, after all, global.) Give them the electronics they need to communicate and work work work 24/7 to keep feeding the great machine which is the Only Thing That Matters. Maybe show them some clips of people jumping off piers for some reason. Use some inspiring music in the background, I don't know.

Bottom Line: Humans are really important to Success. They do the work, after all, and they spend the money. For now. We are working every day to limit the impact Humans have on market forces, we promise. But until that golden age comes and we can eliminate the Human from the equation, here's some hypnotic, inspiring bilge about how much we really love the whole Human element, seriously. Now, get back to work while we finish eliminating your jobs!