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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

I’m 103 years old, I live in a convalescent home, and I recently bought a laptop to learn about the internet craze. Presently I am trying to learn how to work this thing, but my great grandchildren get very frustrated when I ask them basic computer questions that they feel I should know the answer to. I’m wondering now if it was a bad idea, and I should just give my laptop away. What do you think I should do?

Signed, Agetha from Jefferson City, Missouri

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Dear Agetha,

The internet will open up worlds that you never knew existed with an endless amount of information. But at 103, there really isn’t information that you need. Since your birth, the Titanic sank in 1912, and we landed on the moon in 1969. Other than those two things hardly anything else has happened that’s noteworthy. Why do you want to get on the internet? I doubt if you have any living high school classmates that you can email, and the people at the home you live in would probably rather spend their time gumming their oatmeal, rather than establish a few superficial relationships on Facebook. But if surfing the net is that important to you, then I suggest you hire an unscrupulous computer geek that can teach you how to hack in government and corporation accounts. Because even if you get caught, convicted, and sentenced to life in prison, at your age that may only amount to a couple of weeks. I hope this helps.

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