Buzz Extra: Crying story gets huge outcry

Leave the babies at home, say restaurant patrons

Jan. 31, 2014

Getty Images/iStockphoto

Written by

Maureen Wallenfang

Post-Crescent Media

Earlier this month, a Chicago couple brought their 8-month-old to a fancy restaurant after their baby sitter canceled at the last minute. It was a three-star restaurant where reservations were made months in advance and the $210 per-plate cost was prepaid and nonrefundable. When the baby cried and disrupted diners, the couple did not leave and was not asked to leave.

On Monday, I asked readers to tell me what they thought of this, and the consensus was that the couple should have canceled even though it meant losing money. In the future, they should have a backup baby sitter. At worst, several suggested the parents take turns eating while one kept the baby in a separate room.

Readers said high-end restaurants should have clear policies that say children are welcome, not welcome or allowed over a certain age. One pointed out that Flanagan’s Wine Review in downtown Appleton says on its website, “Due to the nature of our establishment, no one under 21 is allowed.”

Readers were divided on whether or not the Chicago eatery should have asked the couple to leave. Those who said “no” were sympathetic to the parents’ situation. Some who said “yes” indicated restaurants should also ask loud, disruptive adults to leave.

Many pointed out it was appropriate to bring children into fast-food outlets and eateries with kids’ menus. But anything above that required both exceptionally well-behaved children and highly attentive parents.

“Staying quiet in a fine dining establishment? Not possible for a little one,” wrote Addie Teeters. “I’m always cognizant that there are probably other people there who have responsibly paid a baby sitter and are looking for a quiet evening out. The last thing I would ever want to do is interrupt their evening.”

Reader Greg Bretthauer said the same considerations should be extended to “adult functions, fine art performances and exhibits, and where quiet is expected.”

Nearly 70 readers emailed, called, tweeted or posted opinions and some very impassioned and lengthy. Several included stories about how children ruined a restaurant experience. A few excerpts:

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Sue Pollack and her husband only got out by themselves three times a year when their children were young. On one anniversary, they hired two baby sitters and reserved a table at a romantic restaurant. After being seated and ordering, a couple sat down at the next table with a highly disruptive child. “It ruined our evening,” she said. “That bad experience stuck with me for 25 years.” In retrospect she knows she should have asked to be reseated. “If I had been the couple mentioned in your article, I would have given up my reservation. I was always cognizant that not everyone was thrilled to see my children. Parents, I do not want to see your child when I am sitting with my sweetheart by candlelight. Even my own grandson is not that cute.”

“My wife and I never took our sons to nice restaurants because of the crying potential. That’s what McDonald’s is for,” tweeted John Mitchell.

On the other hand, dad Jeremiah Lozano said parents do their best and others should be understanding.

“I have two babies that are 1 and 2 and we take them everywhere because the way the world is today we do not want anyone watching our kids except us. The way I look at it is if you can keep your kids under control, then take them. I teach my boys respect and discipline and at 1 and 2 they understand. But there is no law saying I cannot bring my children in so if they do cry ... guess what? Deal with it or go somewhere else.”

Another dad said restaurants should be prepared to handle situations. In another subdued, hush-hush environment, he said employees helped his wife in a similar predicament.

“Years ago my wife didn’t have a chance to sufficiently feed our infant daughter before entering a formal venue,” said D. Bob Sauer. “Sure enough, baby Claire needed her mother’s milk and made quite a scene. Instead of rushing us out, a staff member brought mom and baby to a small but opulent room to finish feeding. We were on a private tour of the Clinton White House at the time. One of Hillary’s aides helped us. If one of the most formal venues in the land can accommodate this, a restaurant surely should.”