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Jill's mouth dropped open, her eyes filling with tears and traveling from the books strewn on the ground to those spilling over in her arms.

"Looks like we have a problem here, ladies!" A man's voice voice startled Jill, causing the remaining books to tumble to the ground and Diane's face to turn white.

Are the placements of these paragraphs and tags correct? Also, how could this short exchange be improved upon?

Thanks in advance,Catherine

Yes, all of the tags are correct both in placement and in punctuation.

A small improvement--take a look at your sentence structures, and avoid using too many similar sentence structures in such close proximity. That habit can tend to give your writing a sameness and predictability.

In this case, your three longest sentences all have the same structure:

The subject does something in past tense...

Diane asked...Jill's mouth dropped...A man's voice startled...

...followed by a phrase that features an -ing verb:

...knocking another book......filling with tears......causing the books...

There's nothing wrong with that sentence structure. In fact, it's perfectly grammatical and could even be considered an advanced writing structure--the sort of thing you like to see in a piece of writing. When I do my other job as a scorer of writing tests online, one of the things we look for is complex sentence structures like these. But another thing we look for is VARIED sentence structures. So just be on the lookout for this. Many good writers have 'pet' sentence structures; I tend to use semicolons far too often (as in this very sentence).