Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Siege of Stegette

New Order Agents are the most ambitious players in EVE. They aren't interested in accumulating a bunch of isk while AFK; they intend to make their mark on the game. And they're succeeding beyond anyone's wildest expectations.

Agent Helena Tiberius Mabata chose to carve out a slice of highsec in one of the "islands", areas surrounded by lowsec. One might expect the miners there to be a bit less bot-aspirant, since they have jumped out of highsec at least one time in their careers. However, in many cases the miners arrive in the islands by accident. Sometimes they're trapped. In any event, highsec miners in the islands are usually ill-tempered.

Helena Tiberius Mabata > Doger Ronuken you were found to be in violation of the law of highsec and have such had your retriever decomissionedDoger Ronuken > whatDoger Ronuken > this isnt hi secHelena Tiberius Mabata > thi is 0.5 which is high secHelena Tiberius Mabata > and as such is subject to the New halamia code of conductDoger Ronuken > and who came up with thatHelena Tiberius Mabata > your savior and mine, james 315

The first miner to die was totally ignorant of the joyous reforms being enacted elsewhere in highsec. Helena shared the good news.

Doger Ronuken > i dont have a bot fleetHelena Tiberius Mabata > This is correct, but you are mining in high sec, our soverign territory, your flying anti-tanked ships, and found to be mining in excessDoger Ronuken > 4 or lower isDoger Ronuken > hi seckHelena Tiberius Mabata > So you think were in low sec?Doger Ronuken > no medemHelena Tiberius Mabata > so you think were in medium sec?Doger Ronuken > yup

The miner was very confused. Helena had no choice but to educate him. How can you explain the New Order of Highsec to someone who doesn't understand what highsec is?

Helena Tiberius Mabata > i'm afraid i have never heard of this illustrious medium sec, but all the same if its not low sec or null sec it is the territory of the New OrderHelena Tiberius Mabata > and as such subject to its lawsDoger Ronuken > so it is black mallDoger Ronuken > can thear be king of all hi sec

Anti-Order memes are like pollution. No matter how remote the location, you can always find traces of the filth. Doger accused an Agent of "black mall". Outrageous.

Doger Ronuken > of all hi sec is a lote of taritory to coverHelena Tiberius Mabata > indeed it is, this is a difficult and often thankless jobHelena Tiberius Mabata > but the knights of the new order stand ready to meet any challengeHelena Tiberius Mabata > agents come from everywhere, and anywhereREDWING BLACKBIRD > cheap ships used as fodder in ganks all to familiar anywhereREDWING BLACKBIRD > another goon swarm type startup then ...lolREDWING BLACKBIRD > not tough enough to service low sec yetHelena Tiberius Mabata > bingo +1

If you've ever doubted whether the New Order can leave a lasting impression on EVE, consider this: Years after the Gallente ice interdiction and Hulkageddon Infinity, miners are still complaining about the Goons. The New Order shall last forever, but even if it didn't, the miners would talk about it forever.

REDWING BLACKBIRD > you remind me of the spammers in dodixie industrialist and scammersDoger Ronuken > i would hunt you down but i jute dont hav the time right nowDoger Ronuken > i was in the midle of studying mathHelena Tiberius Mabata > So you pay to play a game, yet rather than play it you study math?REDWING BLACKBIRD > mining is tedious he is mining and studying ...duhDoger Ronuken > i was mineing ore wile i was doing my home workDoger Ronuken > so is calc 2

Without prompting, Doger revealed his mixed-up priorities. He was doing calculus homework instead of mining at his keyboard. Parents, please tell your children that they can enjoy some homework after they've finished their video games.

Helena Tiberius Mabata > Valentun Pykalo you were violating the law of highsec as laid forth by James 315, as such you criminal barge has been forcibly decomissioned. Please remember a permit before commiting further deeds of bot aspirancy in our soverign territoriesHelena Tiberius Mabata > Francheska Cloverly you too were found to be in violation of the CODE. no one is above the law of highsecFrancheska Cloverly > oh hush i wasnt botting i even moved off so ur venture buddy could get the jaspet u my friend are an assHelena Tiberius Mabata > and as such you were decomissionedFrancheska Cloverly > like i said ASS go to low sec with your crap

Helena returned to Stegette the next day. The improvement of the system was taking place slowly. Progress is not always perceptible to the untrained eye. Keep the faith.

Helena Tiberius Mabata > Rand en Chasteaux for your bot aspirant deeds your special edition frigate was decomissionedAnaniell > fuck offHelena Tiberius Mabata > Wohoo my first bingo square of the dayAnaniell > This is our system, and we're dripHelena Tiberius Mabata > im afraid highsec belongs to James 315 and the New Order, not this so called dripAnaniell > Our system is ... here we dig .. clear to you?Helena Tiberius Mabata > you dig?

Isolated communities are known to develop their own dialects. Helena could barely understand them, which made her worry the miners might not be able to understand her. So she spoke in the universal language of EVE: violence.

Helena Tiberius Mabata > Cala Wrynnn your imicus was forcibly decomissioned for failing to be in compliance with the new halamia CODE of Conduct and the laws of HighsecHelena Tiberius Mabata > please remember a permit before sitting AFK outside of stations againCaius Sivaris > tell me about your tournament run HelenaHelena Tiberius Mabata > we won the tourny by defeating 2 teams before they even recieved their ships, and made history during the aftermath. Were like rockstarsHelena Tiberius Mabata > with nuetron blastersCaius Sivaris > rpfags are so annoying

News of CODEdot's big tournament win has gotten around. Carebears are very upset that the New Order didn't disappear afterward. Maybe they assumed we would want to retire on top. Not quite. The New Order's plan is to remain on the top of EVE, permanently. So far, so good.

Helena was very satisfied with what she was able to accomplish in a short time, but there's always more work to be done.

Our Agent reviewed her killmails and solemnly reflected upon the fact that without her intervention, those players never would have experienced any real EVE gameplay. They might've learned more calculus, though.

One gank recipient put a 50 million isk bounty on Helena instead of buying a 10 million isk permit. On second thought, before these carebears start learning calculus, maybe they should master arithmetic?

lol veers you should really just suck shit dude. I dont even like code and I see you crying in antiganking and all over the place yet you are too scared to go and fight the big bad meanies of high sec.

The usual idiots. My forum posts paved the way for these actions by CCP. I stood up for the real heroes of Eve - the incursion runners, the mission runners, the ratters - the good guys. CCP finally cracked down on the griefer scum and sent them packing. It's time to abandon your troll Code, disband CODE, and start acting like decent people again.

"I stood up for the real heroes of Eve - the incursion runners, the mission runners, the ratters - the good guys."

...can't tell if real Veers' Tears, or a gifted homage. On the one hand, I want to say no one can be this incredibly carebeary, or take a game so seriously that he considers pve "good guys" and pvp "bad guys" by default. On the other hand, it's Veers. God, I really can't tell for sure either way.

They work together to achieve common objectives without hurting other people. They follow the laws of highsec, and avoid committing criminal offenses. They try and make other human players happy, instead of hurting of them. And they create wealth instead of destroying it. In essence, they are the polar opposite of yourself, D400, DJ, Jerry Rin, and Erotica1. They are the good guys of Eve, you are the sociopathic villains.

I believe I saw a tag line for one of EVE's expansions... "Be The Villain".

There are no good guys or bad guys... there are just people playing a game, and playing a role within that game. If you think it goes beyond that then you are seriously messed up. YES, I grant you there have been a few people that have crossed the line, but you would have us throw the baby out along with the bath water.

Do you play CoD? Halo? Ever been teabaged in a game? Do you run crying to the game publisher, whinning and bitching that [insert player name here] continued to shoot you in the head then teabag you in matches? If so I would suggest you get a life and do something different.

HTFU and quit being a bitch. EVE is a spaceship combat game. Not a MINING game, NOT an INDUSTRY game, even though those elements are found in it. When you undock, and this has been said by CCP on many occasions, you take the risk of PVP.I think they even have a catchy song... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgvM7av1o1Q

People are playing in ways which differ from how I'd play? Why, how dare they? Clearly, they're doing it wrong. If they behaved differently (ie: how I would behave if I were them and playing the game instead of crusading on forums), different things would have happened, and that would have been best.

For shame, griefers. When will you learn that the only way to play correctly is to play like I do??

I have been using the fittings and tactics demonstrated in this guy's videos to great effect farming burners in nullsec. Any lvl 4 agent can provide them, but I recommend you consider a nullsec pirate faction for the best return on your LP.

The high-payout burners where I'm running pay out 120m for about 5 minutes of work and are quite farmable if you pull with multiple characters.