Review: Heineken Draught Keg

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Think back on the last party you attended. Perhaps you enjoy sitting around an impeccably decorated living room and sipping glasses of cold, frosty beer poured by a nattily attired waitress named Nicole hired for the night so the hostess could mingle with the glitterati in attendance. Or perhaps it was at your friend Terry’s house where you ended up puking all over his couch after trying, and failing, to put firecrackers on his cat. If you read CrunchGear, I’m suspecting it was the latter. That is why the Heineken Draught Keg is not for you.

Conceptually, this bucket of beer is solid. Who wouldn’t want a big keg of Heinie on the counter, ready for all comers? It’s like a party ball without the ball you can cut in half and put on your head later.

That’s what I thought when I bought this keg of fail. The keg is supposed to contain five liters of sweet beer along with a CO2 delivery system. What it actually contains is 10 liters of foam, some beer, and lots of beer on the top of the keg that runs down the sides into the fridge and makes a huge holy mess.

To connect the beer to the outside, you have to insert a little tapping mechanism. This tapping mechanism, no matter how much you try, does not form a proper seal and allows beer to flow up and out of the keg guts. If you carry the keg at all or, perhaps, drive with it, it also begins to foam and most of your pours consist of head and faint sliver of nectar. Not a fun time. This is basically going to be the most petulant and difficult-to-manage guest at your party – be warned.

I’m sure others have had excellent experiences with the Draught Keg but anecdotally I’ve confirmed that most folks have had big problems getting this thing to work properly. I’d recommend getting a case of Amsterdam’s best and leaving it at that. This is a party foul.