Anyway, I was finally able to finish the book I was reading, and its sequel, so I could get this contest put to bed. I meant to do the drawing last night…but I started the book, and then needed to know how it ended. It didn’t end well! Neither did the sequel!! I can’t wait for the third. My 24 hour accidental internet detox was successful, in case you were wondering.

That, however, is not what you care so much about. On to the good news, as well as the confirmation that you might be a loser. It hurts, I know. Keep reading my blog to feel better about yourself, your life, your kids…

Unless you are:

15

Cass

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100

Marianne M.

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287

Rebecca W.

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53

Secret Identity

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183

Meredith

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172

Jen C.

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301

Tara L.

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227

Brian F.

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27

DiAnna M.

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42

Holly R.

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86

Kathie S

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73

Heather C.

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255

Jody M

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24

Rodney

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224

Dawn D.

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Kelly

Close proximity auto win

Mom/Jen

Close proximity auto win

2nd Round:

205

Wendy H.

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130

Mia K-N

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42

Erin S

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202

Tedra O

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67

Ellen E

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67

Heather G.

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…in which case you are a winner! Congratulations!! You can keep reading my blog anyway, to feel superior and stuff.

My process for choosing winners was easy. I opened an excel spreadsheet and pasted in the names of people who met the qualification criteria. I copied the names as many times as necessary, and my kids named 15 random numbers between 1 and 309. I deleted winners and my kids named 5 more random numbers, between 1 and 209.

Special Note: “Secret Identity” won, which is actually a long ago FB account I used for Mafia Wars. It was a cheap FB like in the early days, so I’m naming my own winner for that copy: Congrats to Carolyn K! Duh, she’s Hoagies. Of course she gets a copy. 🙂 Also, 67 happened in a confused manner, so there were two winners there.

N said it wasn’t so random, and not so scientific. Whatever. It’s also 23 copies of the book given away so far, instead of 15, and 8 winners are complete strangers to me. Cool!

I don’t hear any of the winners complaining, now do I? I don’t pay much attention to losers, because, well…

Aww. So sad. Loser.

Another Special Note: If you still want to win a copy, I will post about the Chicago Gifted Community Center (CGCC) giveaway later in the week.

Congrats, again, to the winners! I will contact you for shipping info. Please read the book and post your reviews everywhere: Amazon, Goodreads, BN…

The last couple of weeks have blurred by and I’m losing my mind already. We homeschool around these parts, as you may know, and N’s OnlineG3 classes started on Monday. Coincidentally, Monday was all drama, all the time. One family member cried for two hours because he discovered a conflict in his schedule that denies him *more* class time. He always needs more. He has clear expectations and doesn’t respond calmly on the first pass when things are not to his specs.

I have no idea from where that fantastically noisy trait originated on his family tree.

Pictures of cute kitties make us calm.

Tuesday and Thursday classes were smooth and he had a blast, though we then had a difficult discussion about dropping a science activity we were both looking forward to…but we already see the writing on the wall. He’s a year young for it, and they’ll have a full team, so maybe it’s not fair to have him participating anyway. I don’t know. It brought on more tears though. He wants to do all of it.

In a few weeks we’ll start Friday co-op in Skokie, which kicks off our Beelers on Wheels grand tour for both boys. This co-op is not negotiable for them. They love it like a diabetic loves low blood sugar readings.

Monday Science Spectacular begins a couple of days later–4 hours at the Chicago Botanic Gardens for them both as well, with a friend thinking about some fun opportunities for the kids to hang out even more. Tuesdays are always our local unschool group, which is our home base, so that leaves Wednesdays and Thursdays home. Oh wait, Wednesday is for gymnastics, swimming lessons, field trips, and scouts. So, we’re home on Thursday. Part of the day. Sometimes. Homeschool skate is Thursdays for 4 hours. E’s favorite, next to gymnastics.

OMG We’ll never make it.

Calming kitty *and* puppy….

E is technically going into 2nd grade, but he wants to take all of the same classes as his brother. He’s pissed he’s not in Online G3 also, so I sense our lives are only going to get more complicated as E gets older and more joiny.

We also have trips to Iowa and South Dakota this Fall, as well as Symphonic concert, Opera, a one woman play about Marie Curie, and … ? Some other stuff I can’t see on my calendar because my eyes are bleeding. Why can’t I say no to those people I ever-so-craftily made myself at home?

We have a very ambitious schedule this Fall. I’m not really sure we can pull it all off, so I’m stressed. I’m always stressed. Last night I had the mother of all hissy fits because Jeff brought home dinner and my order was wrong. How dare he?! How dare Quiznos run out of Au Jus for my sandwich?! WTF is going on with this crazy world? He was surprised at my, shall I say emotional, reaction to the disappointing news.

Calming kitty picture……

Week One of our rabidly over-scheduled and mostly unschoolie-yet-eclectic homeschooling 2012-13 year has begun, and I’m already overwhelmed. I’ve almost forgotten my church bingo wins with my parents and sister this weekend, and that was a spendable cash euphoria! I will be blogging in the future about the FREE goldfish. Thankyouverymuch, Aunt Jen and Uncle Tim.

If This is a Gift, Can I Send it Back?: Surviving in the Land of the Gifted and Twice Exceptional

Read back a post for contest details. I’m way too comfy (lazy?) to grab the link myself. Work for it, people! I will draw names on Saturday. She signed them a week or so ago, so they’ll be ready for the mail in a jiffy!

Also, still not sure how the contest will go for the Chicago Gifted Community Center, but I’ll be giving books away there too. 🙂 CGCC is new and awesome, so check us out and help us grow!

DAMNIT!! WTF is the kitty doing in the toilet???? What is wrong with that cat?? I’m not calm anymore.

Welcome to Delicious Minutiae’s first ever contest! I’m giving away copies of Jen Merrill’s book, “If This is a Gift, Can I Send it Back?: Surviving in the Land of the Gifted and Twice-Exceptional”, but I’m torn. I want this to be about supporting her…but I’m also feeling a little selfish and want it to be about me too. Hopefully this will be a mix of both… My review of the book, which I loved to itty-bitty pieces, will come in a couple of days.

So, here’s how to win your own copy (comments can also be about other people’s kids, btw):

7. Send me $6 and you are an instant winner of a signed copy of Jen’s book! = instant winner!

8. Leave a comment on my blog that you want to enter this here contest, but don’t like leaving comments and are too lazy to post personal pics in public. = 1 entry

I will randomly pull 15 names out of a hat on August 23. If you are one of the lucky winners, I will send you a signed copy of Jen’s “ITiaG,CISiB?:SitLotGaTE”…unless you’re local, in which case I’ll drive slowly by your house and fling it at your front door. I might also deliver to Ohio residents, if they are really nice to me.

If you win and are no longer in the US, like, say, you just moved to JORDAN (wah!), I will send you a Kindle or Nook copy via the interwebs.

Okay, this was more about me than Jen, so: 9. post a comment about how awesome you think Jen Merrill is and get another shot at winning a signed copy of her book. 🙂

10. Stay tuned for the Chicago Gifted Community Center’s 15 book giveaway. Jen’s on the board. So am I.

Get over yourself. Everyone gets a rash some time… Enter this contest and be a WINNER!

Disclaimer: 1 winning entry per person, void where prohibited by law, etc. Participating in this contest, Delicious Minutiae’s First Ever!, may cause some or all of the following side effects: migraines, explosive diarrhea, vomiting, blurred vision, rashes in private places, loss of your eyebrows and eyelashes, and maybe even sudden death. Delicious Minutiae cannot be held responsible for your explosive diarrhea, or any other side effects from participating in Jen Merril’s “ITiaG,CISiB?:SitLotGaTE” book giveaway.

I’m sure it will come as no surprise to anyone who read the sad story of my Amazon.com calendar purchase, that I also buy a lot of books. My friend Dawn, mentioned frequently around these parts, pointed out an internet forward that kinda-sorta reminded her of me. It went something like this:

I have nothing to add to this.

This brings me to confessional time. I’m pretty sure every post I make here is something of an accidental confessional, but this is on purpose…not just me blathering on about personal stuff and TMI.

I have a lot of books I haven’t read yet. I used to read SSSSOOOOOO much. All the time. I called in sick to work every now and again if I had a book I couldn’t wait to read. I missed most of elementary, middle, and, come to think of it, high school. One of my childhood besties and I used to walk to Park Drugs, and sometimes I bought a book instead of candy or beverages. Candy and beverages was the entire point of the exercise, btw.

Side note: I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but in 5th or 6th grade one of the books I bought from Park Drugs, with my own money even, was a time travel romance that still makes me question my own taste in reading material. Constance O’Day-Flannery entertained me well enough with her Timeless Passion, and I learned a little bit about 1856 antebellum plantation living to boot! I also learned that if I wind up traveling back in time, it would be indiscrete to listen to my jammin’ walkman tunes while singing Huey Lewis out loud. My “husband” might think I’m cray-cray, or I might be drowned in the swamp in order to free the demon spirits.

It’s always a concern. One can never be too careful while time traveling.

So, I was somewhat preoccupied with reading not so many years ago is what I’m saying. Then BAM! Procreation. Along with the precious babies came regressing literacy.

Fast forward to last month and I went to the SENG Conference in Milwaukee. I had a great time and on the last day I couldn’t help myself any longer…I bought some books from the vendor hall. Great Potential Press had a few books that had been on my wish list for years. Literally. Years. What the crap; they were giving my books away at the conference! All I had to do was pay 70 percent of the cover price and I could take them home with me for FREE. That’s all there was to it.

How could I say no? I couldn’t. I didn’t.

Trouble here is that I already have a robust library of gifted-specific books, but I haven’t even read close to half of them. Homeschooling? Have a bunch of those too. Aspergers? Check.

Now these shelves of books aren’t going to remind me that my devilishly handsome plantation-farming faux husband from 1856 might not understand about OTC pharmaceuticals, but they might, just might, help me parent my extremely high needs children. Constance O’Day-Flannery didn’t write about twice-exceptional kids, but if she did I might have to put her book to the top of the TBR pile. As it is, I spend all day with my quirky, intense, always “on” spawn, so I don’t want to relax with some helpful reading material about them when I could be watching Toddlers & Tiaras, or getting my ass beat at SongPop.

3. Decided at the conference, while standing in the vendor hall, to start *reading* and then *reviewing* the books on my blog.

4. Went home and lost track of time. Got my ass beat at SongPop.

5. My conference roomie’s book was released, and she’s unknowingly written about my life. All of it!! She, too, noted that the last thing a person wants to do is read a book about gifted kids when they’re knee deep in the soup.

5b. I bought LOTS of copies of Jen’s book and planned it to be my kick-off gifted book review / combo kick-off contest.

6. Dawn posted about tsundoku (see above) which reminded me that I planned to read and review all of my gifted/homeschooling/2e books, but haven’t started yet.

6b. Nor have I announced the contest.

7. I’ve been drinking tea ALLLL NIGHT and now I can’t sleep.

8. So it’s time to launch this contest. WOOHOO!

9. But I think I should create a new entry because this one is really long already.

I’ve never written a review before, and Jeff Salyards has never published a book before. We’re even. Somehow, I think my review is going to be more awesome. Anyone can publish a book, right? You know, like hundreds of pages in a row, with character, plot, and all those other literary terms driving a story. Agent, editor, illustrator, publisher (other people helping). That sort of thing.

Publishing is a team sport.

I’m doing this review of Scourge of the Betrayer all by myself. Consider that.

Book Review Blogging. Alone.

I started reading Scourge with an open mind. My friend, Dawn, had invited me to the book signing last week. It was compelling to listen to Salyards talk about his process of writing, and what it took to get this debut of his onto the shelves. I’d heard it was a great read, but I was worried I wasn’t going to like it. I’d have to tell my friend it sucked, or lie; neither outcome so comfortable.

Quite the opposite! I believe my reaction was “Holy shit, he can write!”

All Empires crumble.All Kingdoms die.Bloodsounder’s Arc Book One

I delved into the first couple of pages and dropped right into the story, captivated by the turns of phrase, descriptions, dialogue, and entertaining characters. Those are the elements that are most important to me, so I’m not asking for much. I mean, I’d previously read a few sci-fi/fantasy efforts that were just ridiculous, like the author felt he or she had to recreate the entire world or it didn’t count. Binstavalerd is chair, and mugstobbabeast is horse. Plus no one has a mouth and everyone talks and eats through their belly buttons…AKA umbillipieholes. Sort of similar to going to IKEA, but no cheap bookcases.

Salyards, on the other hand, immediately drew me in with the opening sentence’s description of Captain Braylar Killcoin, as seen by our narrator, Arkamondos: “dark hair slicked back like wet otter fur…” I know exactly what that looks like. And hey, I like otters.

Wet otter fur, yo.

Arki is a young scribe hired to take us on a mysterious journey, recording the deeds and misdeeds of the Syldoon soldiers. We don’t know much because Arki doesn’t know much. We listen, observe, and get a feel for place and personality. We learn as he learns. I wasn’t overwhelmed with epic worldbuilding, or turned off by a bunch of weird crap thrown in for effect.

Another description, besides wet otter fur, that captured my imagination introduces Glesswik (pg. 3): “a long face, splotchy and deeply pocked as if it had been set on fire and put out with a pickaxe.”

Getting ready to put out a fire…on your face!

You’re thinking about that right now, aren’t you? How could you not? It’s brilliant. And funny. There’s a lot of unexpected humor throughout the book, though it’s certainly not a comedy.

So, through Arki’s narration, we get to know this small band of soldiers, the merciless Syldoon, that are on a questionable mission. There’s a package. What’s in the package? Where are they going? Why? I was antsy to know, and pulled along by the easy flow of a natural storyteller. The characters really struck me, especially Lloi, Arki, Braylar and super crass Mulldoos. The economy of words and characters really impressed me; it was all sculpted precisely down and no blathering on about nonsense. There was a lot of violence, foul language, gallows humor, and even some supernatural in there to keep it lively.

Braylar’s flail is badass, for sure, and I’m looking forward to learning more about it in the next book, as well as Braylar’s relationship to it.

(Am I the first person to notice the possessive “Braylar’s” has almost identical letters as Salyards? Salyarbs, or Draylar’s would be cleaner. I digress.)

As the story unfolds, it also gains focus and intensity. We gain a clearer picture of Braylar’s path; we see Arki grow and evolve. There are emotional twists that paint the world through showing, not telling, and which flesh out the characters richly.

When it was done, I was already looking forward to the second installment, which is bothersome because it won’t be out for another year. Write faster, Salyards. No pressure.

I highly recommend Scourge of the Betrayer to others. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Today was really fun! The same friend that likes my maternity pants, Dawn, invited me to a book signing for a debut author she happens to know from college. I’m a sucker for a book signing.

In fact, Brad Meltzer may or may not be the father of my oldest child. I went to the 2001 signing in Boonsboro, MD with my Noraholic friends, talked a load to Brad (yes, first name basis) in March, popped out a baby in December. I love booksignings. A lot.

We meant something to each other, once upon a time… Okay, not really, but he’s a really cool guy.

So, fast forward to present day and Jeff Salyards was signing at Barnes & Noble in Oak Brook Center (IL) this morning for his Fantasy debut “Scourge of the Betrayer”.

Jeff Salyards, like Brad Meltzer, has no hair.

It isn’t something I’d normally choose to read, but I’ve heard a lot of great things about this book. My friend has been talking it up my TBR pile for a bit, and I do love an opportunity to buy stuff support a new author. I bought my copy and Dawn, Joyce and I roamed the store. Joyce pointed out that Dolores Umbridge was working incognito, having left her pink suit and collector kitten plates back at Hogwarts. I wasn’t quite seeing it, so I asked her a question about the signing. It was Dolores! Hateful witch.

BN can benefit from some friendliness sensitivity training in some locations.

So, we made our way over, not knowing what to expect. I enjoy the two different audiences at signings: the fans who love the work, and the writers who love the craft. This signing was an interesting mix of both.

These are the sorts of people you’ll find at a Jeff Salyards signing.

It was neat to see the trickle of people who wandered in. There was a guy front and center who talked and talked. He wanted balloons, kites, caterpillars and a love story in the second installment. He was funny, and helped keep the flow going. Turns out, I think it was Salyards’ uncle.

Uncle Buck was also an uncle.

A BN employee came in late, on her day off, because she was enjoying the book a lot. She said another employee recommended it. I loved her comment that she was always the lone geeky girl playing D&D with all the boys.

The Dungeons and Dragons woman must have been the one taking the picture here.

Another guy in the front row sounded like a fellow booksigning junky. He previously worked at a bookstore and had met a bazillion big name authors. All of them. He’s even met me. He had great things to say about Scourge. He compared the writing to a lot of names I’m unfamiliar with, seeing as I pretty much only read cereal boxes and smut the classics anymore. I heard George Martin thrown around a lot, but I haven’t read “Game of Thrones” yet either.

Ah, yes, I did get a pic of him. There he is.

There was a couple there, with the dude writing some legal handbook for family law. Maybe something else, not sure. It sounded like blah blah yadda kjhewrj snooze. I didn’t immediately see how it applied to me and let my mind wander.

There were a few other people, then the three of us.

Dawn knows her books. She says the character development in this one is stellar. Run, don’t walk, to the nearest bookstore…or whatever. Walk if you want. Seriously — I’m not going to know.

Beginning authors don’t have big publicity machines filling seats, so he probably set the signing up and did all the legwork himself…plus a full-time day job and a wife and three kids.

Something like this, but not a groundhog. If this groundhog writes a book though, I’ll attend his signing too. What’s not to love about a groundhog one man band? (One hog band? You know what I mean.)

Jeff talked from 11 to 11:45am, and I was disappointed when he said he was going to wrap up the talk and start signing. He was really funny, which is a hook for me. He spoke about his process, and how it was an on and off, ten-year race to the finish. He spoke about how he had to edit out @ 250 pages, and how working with agents and editors altered the end product. I find all that fascinating. Actually, I had a lot of questions but didn’t ask. I hate that. I should have spoken up.

But this is how it feels. So I don’t usually.

Though this is his first book, he spoke about the contract being for three books, but he’s picturing a four book story arc. WTF will we do for book four?!

My biggest take-away was to study screenplay writing for help honing dialogue skills. As a wannabe, my dialogue skills pretty much suck. I’ve said before that my characters really just enjoy a good companionable silence. They just sit together, quietly. Not talking. Sort of like a silent film, but in book form. I rock it, hard.

Sitting in Silence. I wrote this book! These are my characters! Why won’t they talk to each other???

Anyway, my friend really loved the book. If there’s one thing I know about her, it’s that she knows her books. Her recommendation goes a long way with me, so I was happy to pay for the hardcover *and* Kindle version. I think you should too.

Scourge of the Betrayer. Google the title for reviews. I’m not even quite sure yet what it’s about, but it sounds great!

So, I haven’t read “Scourge of the Betrayer” yet, but the reviews are excellent. I’ll keep you updated, random blog reader, what I think of the actual story, but the cover is beautiful.

Jeff Salyards was a fun Saturday morning date with friends, and I hope he has more local signings so we can go back and listen some more. I hope I’m not pregnant again. My mom never did have the talk with me, so it’s all kind of a mystery.

Salyards in action. Booksigning? Nailed it. Can’t wait to see how his story unfolds.

Anyway, in addition to the fun talk, on the way out of the store and into the open air main part of the mall, there was a wedding. A wedding!

The bride wore some trashy blue shoes, people were stopping to watch, strollers strolled by, some weirdos were taking pictures. It was…odd? I don’t understand why a woman would decide to tie the knot at the mall, unless she was in a contest for least romantic place to shackle yourself in matrimony while wearing ugly blue hooker shoes.

Mall wedding. Nailed it.

I thought about that a bit while strolling the too-expensive-for-me shops. I went into two different stores that were just shoes, which was life altering. This past year I wore my Keens every day except maybe three snow days, from last summer to present day. I realized today that I can wear other shoes, not just my lesbian hiker shoes.

I bought two shirts and two tank tops! They aren’t from Target! My sister didn’t pick them out!

I’m making all kinds of progress as a human being. I was out with friends. I bought clothes. I was inspired to write more. I was locked out of my house.

Oh yeah. Thanks to Kelly for helping me get back into my house without having to throw a brick through the window. If your husband hadn’t shown up, I was going to wet my pants.

I used to read. A lot. At the height of my blissful insanity I read four books in one day. They weren’t all War and Peace, but they weren’t Magic Treehouse either. Fast forward a decade and I’m becoming illiterate. Read the rest of this entry »

Today was the first day of the 2010 InHome Conference, our local homeschooling conference in St. Charles, IL. Jeff took the day off work to chaperone N and E, and the boys enjoyed an Art Extravaganza, Magic Show, live animal “critter corner” and an awesome Physics show. E had security notified of his presence before we even had a chance to digest our lunch! I’m sure this doesn’t come as much of a shocker to anyone. Read the rest of this entry »

We’re homeschoolers with most of our educational eggs in the unschooling basket. The unschooling philosophy is what works for us, though I resisted for a good year before I realized all of our best days and biggest breakthroughs have been on the days when we relax and follow our bliss. Tonight, for instance, my four year-old, who we’ll call “E”, wanted to play cards with me. He was quite disappointed when I opened up a generic alphabet deck.

“Dang it! I wanted cards with aces and jacks!”

So we proceeded to play around with the cards and he worked very enthusiastically on some great four letter words. I strongly believe that it’s never too early to work on the four letter words!