Res ipsa loquitur ("The thing itself speaks")

Kerry: Free War!!!

This week Secretary of State John Kerry became the Sham-Wow man for the latest war by the United States. Here is how a Sham-War pitch works. Kerry announced that the Arab countries will pay for our entire war if we invade Syria. That’s right, we can simply rent out U.S. personnel like mercenaries for Saudi Arabia and Gulf nations. First we have Nancy Pelosi explaining the war literally in five-year-old terms and now John Kerry doing his imitation of Offer “Vince” Shlomi.

Kerry told Congress that “With respect to Arab countries offering to bear costs and to assess, the answer is profoundly yes. . . . They have. That offer is on the table.” When Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.) pressed on how much we could get from the countries, Kerry said it was an absolute bargain: “In fact, some of them have said that if the United States is prepared to go do the whole thing the way we’ve done it previously in other places, they’ll carry that cost . . . That’s how dedicated they are at this. That’s not in the cards, and nobody’s talking about it, but they’re talking in serious ways about getting this done.”

Note the reference to “go do the whole thing the way we’ve done it previously in other places.” That is the new way to refer to an invasion as in Iraq and Afghanistan. The clear suggestion is that we might be able to go to war on a Saudi credit card . . . if we act now. Indeed, as Congress contemplates whether it would buy a war for zero down, Kerry could offer to get a second war at the same cost.

What is astonishing is that the offer of a free war was viewed as Kerry as a positive contribution to the pitch for war. Many people have already criticized the United States for engaging in such operations at the behest of either the Saudis or the Israelis at the cost of U.S. lives and treasure. Even Offer “Vince” Shlomi would blush at the pitch of a war that is too good a deal to pass up.

John Kerry: another U.S. Secretary of State shilling for a stupid war instead of practicing diplomacy to avoid one. The U.S. government needs to go away and spare the world further unnecessary embarrassment.

“We share a concern about the increase of the radicals. My concern is that if we don’t hold Saddam — I mean Bashar al-Assad …”

Oh, brother. I almost spit coffee all over my computer monitor at that one. Saddam indeed.

Not to mention the lies Kerry told about him and Chuck Hagel not voting to authorized Deputy Dubya Bush’s stud hamster vendetta against the toothless Saddam Hussein, when in fact they both fell for the lies hook, line, and sinker.

You know, it does seem casual to the obvious observer that one cannot believe a word that emerges from between the flapping lips of U.S. government officials. They lie just to keep in practice; just so they won’t forget how.

But Kerry positively infuriated me when he spoke of Vietnam “informing” his views, when he obviously did not learn one damn thing of value from that debacle. I simply cannot for the life of me understand a self-described Vietnam veteran advocating for the U.S. military to involve itself in another foreign country’s civil war. Only a brain-dead moron could do that.

You know, I always thought the term “collateral damage” was really a Freudian slip. Because that is what a person might say if they viewed other people’s life as a kind of property. As in, “Well that last bomb damaged some of my collateral. . .”

Today Obama said he would consider any good ideas that weren’t military if he could find any. So….Go to the ICC. Take all the evidence everyone has collected and present it. From that evidence, there will be indictments.

The indictments should go all the way to the top of the food chain. If you really want to send a message that the use of CW is unacceptable, then any person, any nation, any corporation, any actor that was involved in making, selling, authorizing, “legally” justifying or using the weapons needs to be indicted. No exceptions. Everyone along the chain of custody that had a hand in their use must be indicted.

That’s going to send a very powerful message. Even if a trial is in absentia, that will send a message.

In the meantime, take Israel, Saudi Arabia and other Arab states who have offered to pay you to go to war and ask them to put their money into paying for the needs of Syrian civilians instead.

Finally, you can actually put a down payment on your Peace Prize by working for peace, not war. Call for a truce and negotiation.

Please stop this type of hypocrisy immediately: “Delivering chemical weapons against children is not something we do. It’s prohibited in active wars between countries. We certainly don’t do it against kids.” You have not brought indictments against the Bush administration for their unlawful war in Iraq which included the use of WP and killed many children, still resulting in birth defects in Fallujah. I have not seen you stop your own use of cluster bombs or drones. I would like to know why these are acceptable methods of killing children. You need to answer that question.

Well, maybe Saudi Arabia would do it like those class action settlements, and give us some 5% off coupons for any oil we buy from them, on the condition that all coupons will expire December 31, 2013, and no more than one coupon can be used per barrel. Not valid with any other offer.