How love blossoms between you and your child

by
Chris Woolston

Last updated: January 2013

You and your baby: Addicted to love

As labor progresses, the stream of oxytocin in a mom-to-be's brain and bloodstream becomes a torrent. Among its many other jobs, the hormone causes contractions and gets breast milk flowing. (It works so well that doctors routinely pump pitocin, a synthetic form of oxytocin, through an IV to induce labor.)

As a brand-new mom, you'll be practically swimming in oxytocin when you finally get to hold your baby. The hormone can break through the exhaustion and pain of labor to give you a feeling of euphoria and intense love.

New fathers aren't immune to the bewitching nature of babies – or the effects of oxytocin – either. Like mothers, dads get a rush of the love hormone when they see their baby for the first time. That may help explain the unexpected emotions that sometimes overwhelm dads in the delivery room.

Steve Bradley didn't expect to cry when his daughter was born, but the waterworks started as soon as he saw Olivia. "I was pretty much in denial until she started to crown," he says. "She came out face up, looking at me."

New dads experience other dramatic biological changes, too. In 2009, researchers found that men's testosterone levels plummet 26 to 34 percent when they become fathers. "The drop in testosterone seems to be a biological adjustment that helps men shift their priorities when children come along," says anthropologist Christopher Kuzawa.

Even more intriguing, some men start to produce extra estrogen, perhaps the clearest sign of the transformative power of fatherhood. According to Diane Witt, a neuroscientist with the National Science Foundation, estrogen makes the brain more sensitive to oxytocin, presumably helping fathers become more loving and attentive.

Oxytocin isn't the only love chemical. Dopamine, the main currency of pleasure in the brain, plays an important role in early bonding, too – for you and for your baby. As you hold, rock, or nurse your child, you both get a rush of this "reward" chemical.

While you're savoring the high, dopamine is helping your baby attach to you emotionally. In 2004, Italian researchers put this together by observing baby mice: Those that couldn't sense dopamine didn't especially care whether or not their mom was around. It's the strongest evidence yet that dopamine plays a crucial role in mother and infant bonding.

Adoptive parents also enjoy hits of the feel-good chemicals oxytocin and dopamine when they're around their children, according to Witt. And their offspring, like all children with healthy attachments to their caregivers, get regular rushes of dopamine from spending time with their parents.

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