Friday, January 08, 2010

USC Claims BCS Victory

Despite a 9-4 season marked by losses to Washington, Oregon, Stanford and Arizona, USC has once again made a claim to the top spot in college football: the BCS Championship.

Like they did in 2004 and again in 2006, USC's Pete Carroll claimed the top spot in the BCS, saying that USC was obviously the best team in the NCAA. "If we hadn't lost our quarterback and hadn't sucked so much in general this season, we would have come out on top. That makes us numero uno in my book. That means number uno in Spanish."

Pete Carroll assaults Alabama and Texas fans with grenade in anger of USC not being selected as a BCS Championship team, despite going 9-4

Alabama beat Texas 37-21 in this season's BCS Championship, but USC fans claim that their team would have beaten both Alabama and Texas at the same time with their players' hands tied around their backs, if only their team would grow a set of balls and man up.

Pete Carroll declined to comment on how bad USC would whup up on any other team vying for a chance at the BCS title, but did say that he would leave to coach in the NFL for the Seattle Seahawks unless the NCAA took the BCS title away from Saban and gave it to him. "Seattle is the home of Starbucks, grunge and the Experience Music Project. What does Southern California have except beautiful women, an incredible campus and a football team full of underachievers and whiners?"

Pete Carroll threatens to destroy Alabama's BCS Championship trophy

Fans of USC threaten to either boycott the 2010 NCAA season, or to enjoy Southern California's beautiful weather and landscape.