'So You Think You Can Dance': Season six auditions come to a close

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Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Tonight is the last night of first round auditions on “So You Think You Can Dance,” and we’re wrapping things up in Salt Lake City with Mary, Nigel, and Mia Michaels. Thank god. A couple nights have been really strong, but I’ve largely just been annoyed by the number of absurd auditions they’ve shown. Rise above the “American Idol” standard, SYTYCD!

The Vegas-Bound:

Hayley Cloud/19/Contemporary – While tumbling in rehearsal, she herniated a disc in her back and made a miraculous full recovery. “Anything is possible if you put your mind to it,” you guys! Do you feel inspired yet? Okay, cynicism aside, she’s pretty great. Really strong acrobatically with some interesting moves I haven’t seen, including a sideways walkover of sorts. I really like her personality, too, and so do the judges!

Iveta Lukosiute/29/Ballroom – She’s from Lithuania, and came to the States because of our money-bearing trees. If only, Iveta. If only. It’s a good thing she headed our way, though, because she’s fantastic. Beautiful lines, very expressive and passionate, and “vivacious,” as Nigel puts it. The judges are all over her, to the point where Mary is tearing up with excitement.

Ashleigh and Ryan Di Lello/26 & 28/Ballroom – They’re married, and the show really makes a bigger deal out of it than I think it is. Sorry. He’s really good, and she’s fine but doesn’t stand out as much. Mary even calls her fake, and she and Mia both slam their chemistry. Ha! Okay, now I see why they emphasized the marriage. They’re both sent on to choreography and Vegas, though.

Leigh Asay and Josh Murillo/20 & 22/Ballroom – They’ve only been dancing together for two weeks. Leigh is off-puttingly flirty with the audience rather than focusing on her partner, if you ask me, but the judges love her and her dancing is admittedly strong. I will say, though, that she has dancing street cred since her entire toenail ripped off her big toe during the audition and she just asks them to continue with the critique. It’s bloody and disgusting and they really need to stop zooming in, but the situation is made much better by Nigel’s “You nailed it!” pun. Thanks, Nigel! A crippled Leigh goes straight to Vegas, but Josh doesn’t nail the choreography. Sorry, had to.

The Rest:

Bryan Boyer/21/Breakdancing – Okay, the b-boys this season are bananas. Did this kid basically do a mini-backflip and almost bounce off his head, or did I imagine that? And he really had a sense of humor about the routine, which is nice. He’s off to choreography, where I hoped he’d do well, but instead he’s overwhelmed by the routine and quits. WEAK.

Tristi Myrci/24/Contemporary – And our first human interest story of the night was in 25 car accidents in three years, but was never the driver. Wow. Is she just really distracting or something? Her routine seemed pretty clumsy to me, and she never really got much height on her jumps. The judges can’t believe she’s had any training at all. And she describes her result as “crash and burn.” Is that a car crash joke?

Ariana Rowley/21/Burlesque – We’re treated to a lovely montage of Nigel being pervy before watching Ariana audition with what is essentially a strip tease. And that’s all I’m going to say on the matter. Except to say that the whole thing was almost worth it to watch Mary valiantly attempt (and fail) to raise her Botoxed eyebrows. And, yet again, they send a ridiculous contestant to choreography solely for entertainment value. Sigh.

Pascal Nayigiziki/25/Spazzy – Pascal is apparently the Daniel Day Lewis of dance, embodying the spirit of whomever’s music he’s dancing to. “If it’s Pink, I become an angry woman…if it’s DMX, I’m gonna shoot someone.” Yeeah…it’s even crazier than you’d think. Shirt-rending, shaking around like he’s having a seizure, odd hopping, what appears to be drooling… Mary accurately describes it as a “conniption fit.”

Cheers and Jeers:

Jeers to the editors for showing eight thousand close-ups of that bloody toe. Some of us like to snack while watching TV, jerks. Cheers to this being the last round of auditions. Jeers to Nigel being pervy. Cheers to the impressive ballroom auditions – who knew Salt Lake City was a magnet for ballroom dancers?

Any favorites from tonight? Who are you looking forward to seeing more of in Vegas?