Good By, For Now…

This and my other blogging experiments all started when I realized the magnitude of the world predicaments about five years ago (it seems like it has been much more time, isn’t it?)

12 years ago today (June 20, summer’s solstice) my family and I came to Canada, with the illusion to build a new, prosperous life for all of us, specially our children.

Nothing would we know (me, in particular) that coming so far away from where I was born, would bring me so close to “home”. Nothing would I know that Canada would give me a return to the real inside of me, to the things and concepts I most value…

While I have always preferred solitude and exploration to social life and mainstream thinking, nothing has been rockier than these last five years since a book and some circumstances took the veil covering my naive eyes and showed me the reality behind my colonized mind.

My first reaction was that of anger, mixed with fear and anxiety and a call for action, I participated in protests and proactively sought to be with like-minded people.

Parallel to this, I took permaculture courses, attended old-ways-skills workshops and deepened my already existent passion for survivalism and self-reliance. I engaged in social justice through food sovereignty and emergency preparedness teaching, I tried to transform my own life to live closer to my newly recovered values…

All those “adventures” have been shared through this and my other blogs and have not been hidden from family, friends of colleagues at work: my transformation (homecoming) was open for all to see and helped others to rethink, awake and transform their own ways.

Behind the scenes and during all my life, however, I have been building this tower of resilience and strength. I have also been running away from painful events and people in my early years, ignoring patterns that were sown and marked long time ago. I thought compassion (this mix of acceptance, love and service) would be enough, I thought “going in” was a waste of time, a sort of selfish navel gazing that would accomplish nothing.

It has been a surprise to me how deep and persistent certain patterns, emotions and wounds be buried. Just to resurface through an innocent picture, a gesture or an email trying to help someone else.

I’m leaving this and the other blogs for now…it may be days, weeks, months or even years.

It is time to explore other shores…to see what’s next and whether these exercises (of writing) still make sense…I may come up with a new blog, or revamp one of these, or close the experience entirely.

I wish you all (who have been following, reading or visiting occasionally) the best. Enjoy the present moment but don’t fool yourself thinking it is the only thing that exists: we are the result of the past and the expectation from the future. Look at the sacred in life, embrace that other, but start with yourself: others may come and go, may be many or a few, but you will be always there, and at the end of the day, ego or not, “yourself” is the only thing you have.

Thanks Nina, I’m happy to have met you…social media does work for good things after all! I just need time to think my next steps and whether I want to share that with the world out there, or change the focus completely.