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Entertaining stuff from Samuel. I do enjoy crosswords that give a laugh or a grin (or even a wry smile) and this gave quite a few!

The unclued lights represented two items which should be “crossed” to yield a third, and a final pair of normally clued answers was indicated by misprinted letters in 18 definitions. As the unclued items always crossed physically on the diagram it seemed logical that they should be arranged in their pairs that way.

As usual the top left hand corner was the last to yield, so the first pair I came to was ?OW crossed with ?AME?. So What do you get if you cross a COW with a CAMEL? Lumpy milkshakes! The other answers were in the same vein and are indicated in the table below.

The misprinted letters gave CRACKLING ON THE LINE and were a cross of PIG and PHONE, 6A and 6D respectively, to be highlighted.

Not difficult, though LAYLA (2D) gave me some trouble and MBABANE (4D) and IPOH (27D) are pretty obscure places. I think the clues for ÉPÉE (29A) has a problem [not now 14D OMAHA – see comments], but this was minor and did not detract from a very enjoyable crossword!

Crosses

What do you get if you cross a

with a(n)

You get

POLICEMAN

ARTIST

A brush with the law!

COW

CAMEL

Lumpy milkshakes!

SHEEPDOG

ROSES

Collie flowers!

CHICKEN

BUILDER

A bricklayer!

GALAXY

TOAD

Star Warts!

PIG

PHONE

Crackling on the line!

Misprint clues

Across

No.

Clue (definition)

Misprint

Answer

Wordplay

6

Scottish cro(o)ck runs from puritan

C

PIG

PRIG (puritan) remove R(uns)

8

T(w)ree place accepted returning native

R

PLATAN

PL(ace) + A(ccepted) + NAT(ive) reversed

9

Hindu tri(e)ad member acting after supporter gutted harem

A

BRAHMA

A(cting) after BRA (supporter) + H(are)M

11

Without clubs, sanction organised ra(v)ces

C

NATIONS

[SAN(c)TION]*

24

I’m wearing regularly creased chin(o)ks

K

RIMAE

I’M in (c)R(e)A(s)E(d)

25

E(j)lect liberal from violent cast (2 words)

L

VOTE IN

[VIO(l)ENT]*

29

Unaccompanied native tents – a fo(o)il’s accompaniment{I am assuming that an épée “accompanies” a foil in a fencer’s kit.}

I

EPEE

TEPEES (native tents). I’m not keen on the use of “unaccompanied” to mean remove the first and last letters, if that is what is meant.

30

Old dro(v)ne Biblical tribe back

N

DOR

ROD is a Biblical tribe.

31

Spinning hoops, they (l)gifted people’s inspiration

G

THEOSOPHY

[HOOPS THEY]*

Down

No.

Clue (definition)

Misprint

Answer

Wordplay

3

Catholic’s lax about remnant of (i)ore

O

CALX

C(atholic) + [LAX]*

5

Ow(e)n self Scottish pound following insane dancing

N

NAINSEL

[INSANE]* + L (pound)

7

Sage amended seven cha(p)tters

T

GASES

[SAGE]* + S (mediaeval roman numeral for 7 or 70)

10

Area reduced longing for c(r)hime

H

AGREE

A(rea) + GREE(d)

12

Sm(a)ell gypsy’s in Australian army

E

AROMA

ROM (gypsy) in A(ustralian A(rmy

14

(H)Landing place over initially means assailants had died off

L

OMAHA

D-Day landing beach – O(ver) + M(eans) A(ssailants) +HA(d)

18

Form a co(o)il display having won for Belgium

I

WREATHE

BREATHE (display) with W(on) for B(elgium)

19

Topless maid’s ti(d)ny

N

WEENY

TWEENY (maid) topless

23

Scum exposed revolutionary made b(i)etter

E

CURED

(s)CU(m) (exposed – remove “clothing”) + RED (revolutionary)

Normal clues

Across

No.

Clue (definition)

Answer

Wordplay

13

Crow endlessly about sad dismissals

ROADS

(c)RO(w) (endless) + [SAD]*

15

German short of time insists on amazing things

GASSERS

G(erman) + ASSER(t)S (insists on minus T)

16

Darken spaceship’s gangway with navy

EMBROWN

EM (space) + BROW (gangway) + N(avy)

20

Every now and then devalue regional channel

EAU

(d)E(v)A(l)U(e)

22

Record unsatisfactory publicity

RECLAME

REC(ord) + LAME (unsatisfactory)

28

Retreats tired us out

REDUITS

[TIRED US]*

Down

No.

Clue (definition)

Answer

Wordplay

1

Russian woman’s snared by cool gadget

OLGA

Hidden in coOL GAdget

2

Song with legendary axeman up front {&lit – song by Eric Clapton (axeman = guitarist)}

LAYLA

LAY + L(egendary) A(xeman)

4

Bachelor of medicine and associate poison African city

MBABANE

MB (Bachelor of medicine) + A(ssociate) + BANE (poison)

6

Call priest to grieve for locals

PHONE

P(riest) + HONE (dialect for grieve)

17

During rush question Strauss’s second bat

RACQUET

RACE (rush) round QU(estion)+ (S)T(rauss)

21

Playwright’s lofty ambitions risk enemy finally scuttling his

SKYISH

(ambition)S (ris)K (enem)Y + [HIS]*

26

Mistaek

TYPO

Clever!

27

Heartless hippo trashed Malaysian place

IPOH

[HI(p)PO]*

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 19th, 2012 at 5:00 am and is filed under Inquisitor.
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It was great fun – thanks for the very full blog. I also set out imagining the “crosses” might be a bit more feasible than some of them are – I mean, however much a toad fancies a galaxy they’re hardly likely to have any offspring, are they? But given that the remit was basically bad jokes, in the end that one (along with the Pig with the phone – another interesting image) might have been my favourite. I’m slightly surprised you didn’t know o=over; it must have been in thousands of other clues and is not exactly rare in the real world either (along with m=maiden, w=wicket, r=runs etc.). Epee/teepees is more perplexing – I don’t remember being troubled by it at the time but it does seem a bit weird now. I suppose it’s just a very creative reading of “unaccompanied”.

Thanks for the write-up, and the comments. ‘O’ does these days equal Over in Chambers, but is a fairly recent edition.

This was the latest in a long series of joke-themed Samuel puzzles; previous ones were published in The Magpie. The first in the series, “Doctor, Doctor” (from sometime in 2006, I think) can be found as one of the sample puzzles available to download without subscription from http://www.piemag.com. Any solvers of Inquisitor, EV or Listener puzzles should subscribe to the magazine – 6 puzzles per month of varying degrees of difficulty by many of the same setters who provide puzzles for the aforementioned series. At (I think) £30 per year, it’s a bargain.