She said you're a living legend I said thank you kindly ma'am
She said don't be so mug I don't mean good
I said I beg your pardon I just don't understand
She said that's all right I never thought you would
Oh she was a torpedo she got me in the engine
I never saw the bomb she threw at me
Oh she was a torpedo and when she exploded
I closed my eyes and sank beneath the sea

She said I'd like to know you better I said honey here I am
She said don't move so fast I'm kind of shy
I said I beg you pardon she said I'm not that kind of girl
She took her beer and hit me in the eye
Oh she was a torpedo and I was her tanker
I knew right then she should be left alone
Oh she was a torpedo and I was her target
I closed my eyes and sank beneath the foam

She said she'd never leave me and she'd treat me like a king
I told her that I'd love her all my life
She took me to the cleaners then she drove me up the wall
She borrowed my last dime and called my wife
Oh she was a torpedo and I was a tanker
I never should have met her in that bar
She was a torpedo and when she was loaded
She wrecked my life and then she wrecked my car
Oh she was a torpedo she got me in the engine
I never saw the bomb she threw at me
Oh she was a torpedo and when she exploded
I closed my eyes and sank beneath the sea