Dear blender
Oh won't you help a first offender
Oh, toaster
Don't you put the burn on me
Refrigerator, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night

Dear knife drawer
Now won't you help me to face life more
Oh, trashcan
Don't you put the dirt on me
Oh percolator, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night

Janet Majors

Everything used to be OK
But I've been had
And Brad, I'm glad to say, is on his way
Micro-digital awaker, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night

Shower curtain
Oh won't you help me to be certain
Oh, toothpaste
Don't you put the squeeze on me
Depilitator, why are we always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night

Tell me spectator, why are always sooner or later
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night!

If only you knew how to win some prizes
If only you knew how to play
If you could sleep nights
Stop your crying
Then you might find out I still love you in my own way

If that's not enough then I am so sorry I met you
It was almost like leading you on
But there's more to it all
Than just wringing your heart out over something
That keeps on going wrong

So don't tell me you love me
How am I supposed to know what that means
No don't sell emotion
You can't find devotion
If you're falling apart at the seams

I hope that you smile
When you reach your conclusion
I hope that you'll know just what to say
But if it should mean that the party's over
You should know that I still love you
You should know that I still love you
You should know that I still love you
In my own way
In my own way
In my own way
In my own way

Ever since I was a little boy
Dressing up has always been my greatest joy
But when it's time to be discreet
There's one thing you just can't beat
And that's a strapless backless classical little black dress

Well first you go rip rip rip
Then you go snip snip snip
Then you whip in a zip zip zip
And split it up to the hip hip hip
And as you strip strip strip
You shiver, and quiver, for that soft caress
As you slip slip slip
Into that little black dress

Bert Schnick

Ever since I was the eina kliena heiren
It was the cordon bleu
For which I am most caring
And the one taste treat so sweet
That really can't be beat
Is what we have here, how you are, caviar
That little black mess

Janet Majors

Well first you go rip rip rip
Then you go snip snip snip
Then you whip in a zip zip zip
Split it up to the hip hip hip
And as you strip strip strip
Oh you quiver, shiver, for that soft caress
As you slip slip slip
Into that little black dress

Carte Blanche is like an avalanche
It kinda snowballs and sets you free
Ahhhhhh ah
Carte Blanche is like an avalanche
It kinda snowballs and sets you free
Ahhhhhh ah
Carte Blanche is like an avalanche
It kinda snowballs and sets you free
Ahhhhhh ah

Janet Majors

So if you're looking for a standard
To which you can aspire
Then baby, look at me!
Oh oh oh!
Look at me!

And you're a blind alley cruiser
Always heading down a losing street
Dreaming that you're screaming at fate
You're a dead end, dead beat, nowhere Mister
With a kiss like a Mississippi alligator's sister

Farley Flavors

I took as much of you as any man can!
You've lost your heart

Brad Majors

You've lost your cause

Farley Flavors

You lost your baby
When you lost your balls
You lost your mind
You've lost your grip
So say bye-bye!

Brad Majors

We lost our Mom
We lost our Dad
And if I'm losing you
Well that's too bad

Farley Flavors

Well the best thing you could ever do is die

Brad Majors

You're a failure
A malformation in the guise of many
An also ran

Farley Flavors

And you're a weeper and a whiner!
Always treading on the toes of the great
Generally spreading your weight
You're a spiteful, hateful, assinine creature
A pupil with no scruples who's no better than the teacher

Brad Majors

I took as much of you as any man can

Farley Flavors

You've lost your heart

Brad Majors

You've lost your cause

Farley Flavors

You lost your baby
When you lost your balls
You lost your mind
When you lost your grip
So say bye-bye!

Brad Majors

We lost our home
Our family
You've lost compassion
Now you're losing me