Before losing hope on a relationship, you should try the following

Love takes work. That is a fact. However, quite a number of Americans believe that their perfect partner is out there, they just haven’t met yet. The word “falling in love” makes us think that finding love is not difficult, it just happens to us. Getting love that has no end is hard to even when we meet the right individual. Nevertheless, it’s also not a hard task that will make us not realize its fruits. Therefore, when should we lose hope on a relationship, and when should we fight for it?

Initially, we should agree that relationships have ups and downs although good times exist. When two individuals with different backgrounds and different relationship experiences from the past come together, the future is not likely to be a bed of roses. Just like Falling in love is beautiful and amazing, it can stir up anger, fear, and anxiety at the same time. This is something we find hard to accept.

The nearer we get to someone else, the more these fears grow and without knowing if they become part of us. Therefore before we decide to lose hope in a relationship we should ask ourselves. How are my fears affecting me? And what am I doing that is hindering closeness?

It is important to note that the only individual you can transform is yourself before making a decision to let go of a relationship. You shouldn’t blame each other in a relationship unless you want to feel weak. You can be the best version of yourself even if you decide to let go of a relationship. You can learn different skills that will impact you positively on your future relationships.

After considering that, below are five things you can try before losing hope in a relationship:

Think about what brought you together

You need to know what attracted you to your partner. The attraction we have at the start isn’t always a good indication. But if this fails it doesn’t mean we chose wrong partners. It is therefore very essential to take note of our early feelings in a relationship. If we were affectionate towards a person in the first place, we can definitely regain those feelings. Memories we made with our partners should form the basis of this discussion. They are what attracted us to each other. After that, we should find out where the problem is and what changed then decide on what we can do to make everything better.

Do away with daily behavior

Entering into a “Fantasy bond” is the main reason relationships fail. This refers to an illusion of connection couples form during some moments in their relationship. This fantasy bond is different from true love. Daily behavior replaces true acts of kindness and a substance is under favored over form in a relationship. Fantasy bond impacts negatively on a relationship, as two soul mates start controlling each other’s worlds. They lose each other’s sense of identity as two different people by referring to each other as “we.” They start taking each other for granted and there are no exchanges of gifts anymore. They refrain from supporting each other’s interests leading to a stale environment making it hard for both parties to be excited towards each other.

You should know if your past is affecting your present

Partners at times chose to focus on each other’s flaws rather than what made them attracted to each other. It’s our past that motivates us into doing this although we don’t usually realize this. We frequently think negative things on an unconscious level. This provokes our partners to treat us the way we were treated in our past. If we identify the behaviors that make us remember the past then we should change our interaction ways so that we can have a mutual understanding with our partners. We can engage in loving practices and start having fun with each other all over again.

Identify your intimacy fears

Individuals frequently react to being adored. We usually pull away from our soul mates when we are fearful. We react badly to acts of love. We stopped being loving and don’t show the good traits our partners once loved about us. We refrain from undertaking activities we once enjoyed with our partners.

You should think about things that push your partner away and find ways of solving them and how the love you felt towards your partner can be reignited. Just try to express love towards your partner when they try to love you. I know it might be hard but just do it to avoid interrupting their feelings.

Unilaterally disarm

There are always tensions moments experienced in relationships. We usually blame our partners the moment we see tension arising and say everything that’s against them. We say bad things towards each other, some that we didn’t even intend to say. This makes us feel bad and unworthy of our relationship.

Rather than paying attention to our partner, we should control ourselves and be peaceful regardless of what our partner does. Understand them and respond positively. Don’t put blames on them but we should take responsibility. We can decide to be close rather than being right. You will feel better when you do this and your partner will be happy.

You have the potential of changing yourself regardless of what the future holds. Your partner will respond softly if you transform and willing to be vulnerable.