Track Listing

Classic Ricky intro in which he "describes" the three of them. Some new rules are in action because Ricky was winding Karl up too much. Ricky can still squeeze Karl's head on-air. Ricky explains the "two experiments" he does on Karl's head. Ricky had been in, in the week to film this while some big-wigs were at Xfm. Karl spoiled Ricky's fun by giving him too much information about where he was going to be. Karl references the fight between him and Antony over Zoe Harris in which Karl chipped Antony's tooth and there was a copper in assembly talking about unnecessary violence.

Karl won't miss Ricky when he's on holiday. The child that was older than her mum. Could she get served in an off-license?
Head squeezing and an aging girl, but after this Karl has some "weird stuff" to talk about!

Steve was watching MTV and kind of agrees with Wyclef Jean, but he and Ricky wonder if exposing your minge, tits and arse don't make you a whore, what does? Steve is concerned about the Fugees. Last week Karl let Steve back on his pub quiz team, because Steve had apologised. Ricky gloats over his win, but Karl and Steve say Ricky's team is older (and they have a better general knowledge). Steve reads off the prizes including Scotland Rocks! and Ricky inquires as to what bands are on there. Songs of Phrase is about Karl's favourite movie The Elephant Man, and Ricky thinks he is an animal. Steve's friend thinks he was trampled by elephants.

On Xfm.co.uk/ricky, there's a picture that Ricky drew of Karl, up for charity bid. Ricky is Number 56 on the Radio Academy Top 100 "Power List". No mention of Marconi. Ricky listened back to last week's show and was appalled, but Steve's not surprised. They should have the worst bits of broadcasting available, like Steve Penk.

Karl met Derren Brown and asked him some "how do you do that" questions. Ricky wants to film Karl's face. Karl was spooked by Derren and tried to throw him off his illusion. He picked the name "Harris" and the number "42", which Derren was able to determine. Karl thinks Derren uses the same trick as Hitler did. Not only was Derren good at magic, but his maths was brilliant. Karl told Suzanne and his parents about it all, but his dad wasn't impressed. Karl never checks the post but got it today and in it was a letter for a Miss Harris. Can they open it?

Steve thinks that's the first time they've broken the law on-air. Ricky and Karl bought a book of zodiac information for writing research and make fun of horoscopes and those who believe in them. Karl is "on the cusp" of a sign and Steve reads about the Virgo sign which sounds quite a lot like Karl. A bit of Karl vs. Steve and Steve reads from his own star sign and Karl immediately questions it.

Time for Monkey News and Karl cues up the jingle. The Making of Monkey News. Karl looked in the Guinness Book and found one that asked for coffee in 23 different ways. Donal Mcintyre did one about how much you can get a gorilla for. A listener emailed in this week's Monkey News about a fella in a balaclava who robbed a bank and a monkey runs in and steals the gun and the money. Ricky is beside himself.

Ricky's done another sketch, of all three of them. Karl's going on holiday to Madeira with Suzanne's parents who've never been abroad, and are overly precautious, even about packing teabags. Karl challenges Ricky and Steve to do Monkey News without him. Karl doesn't like friends because they're a pain. One last head squeeze before Karl goes away.