Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Who pays?????

Sorry about the pics being agdum-bugdum. Am still in a trance after meeting Steven Spielberg last night!

I particularly like the way my books were displayed at the Lit Fest. And as you can tell from my beaming smiles in all the pictures, I had a super fabulous time in Dubai. I am seriously considering wearing the head gear more often. Your verdict???

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This appeared in Mumbai Mirror...

Who pays…..?

“ I don’t believe in ladies’ first,” declared
the young man clad in a too-tight shirt as he tried to snatch the bill out of the
hands of a young woman wearing a too tight skirt. Obviously,both were in a tight spot. But the
person in the tightest spot was the poor server who clearly didn’t want to take
sides. So, he shrugged and waited for the attractive and affluent couple to
slug it out for the cheque. Both were flashing impressive credit cards as they
jumped up and down, she on her high heels, he on his ( yes, men do wear high
heels a lot these days). Other diners in Mumbai’s toniest restaurant ( hint:
the same one which witnessed an ‘exchange’ between a Nawab and a pleb not so
long ago), watched this little drama with much amusement. Soon this couple was
joined by another couple. They were also wearing tight garments and flashing
credit cards ( Platinum? Black? Gold? Diamond studded?). It now looked like all
of them wanted to pay the bill. The ladies in particular, were getting pretty
agro about it. I wanted to butt in and suggest they pay for everybody in the
restaurant while they were at it. But my husband kicked me under the table. The
server was totally forgotten by now. And the four of them attacked the cashier
minding his own business and staring fixedly at the computer. A loud and
spirited conversation ensued. It had to do vaguely with women’s rights and how
these chicks could afford to foot their own bills, and how the men were
behaving like old fashioned uncles by offering to get the tab. The poor men
were beginning to cut tragic figures as they shuffled their feet ( the heels
made it a little difficult), and shrugged a lot ( the tight shirts didn’t
help). Finally, the women won. And the two fellows slunk back to their table to
order another drink. This one, they declared, was definitely on them. The girls
exchanged high fives, winked and asked for a bottle of champagne.

So, who do you think won this round?

This ‘aunty’ (me!) was with her ‘uncle’,
and inevitably we started discussing ‘our times’. There was never a debate on
this issue – the men paid. Period. And that did not necessarily mean it was a
‘date’. Or that the women were expected to sleep with them in return. Women
took men out on special occasions like birthdays. And it was understood it
would be her treat. How? She told him so. Zero embarrassment. No fake nakhra.
If both were kadka, there was always Bade Miya’s. It was okay to scrounge
around for that crumpled tenner and add it to the kitty. But if the guy had a
few bucks on him, he got the ice cream and pop corn at the movies. And the girl
booked the tickets with her pocket money. There were rarely any ego issues to
deal with. When the relationship progressed to the next level and they became
boyfriend-girlfriend officially, all dates happened via consensus. The person
who had the money that particular night, picked up the tab. And nobody kept
hisaab-kitaab. Of course, all that has changed. And it is almost mandatory for
women to arm wrestle the bill out of the server’s leather
folder and make a number out of settling at least ‘her share’. I have
watched couples checking phone calculators and splitting the total to the last
loose change. This is really most inelegant. Bringing money into romance is the
surest way to kill it . If after a lovely, relaxed evening under a moonlight
sky, the guy turns to the woman and comments, “ Drinks are really, really
expensive these days…. Guess how much I just paid?” that’s the end! Phut! Goes
the mood. Khatam! says the woman mentally as she tries not to feel too guilty
about the kharcha-paani. So… what’s the solution? I’d say the old fashioned way
( man pays) works far better on a first date. Woman offers to handle the tricky
moment on the second ( he declines, even if he is stretching himself). Third
time round, the woman insists ( he doesn’t resist).After that, you talk about
it in a casual way and arrive at an arrangement that works for the two of you.
Keep it civilized, polite and transparent, guys. It’s only money!

"Drinks are really really expensive these days"???? OMG!!! Bachowwwwwwww! Thank God! Never ever experienced or had to hear such a thing in my life. Not just embarrassing but super turn off. That would be such a disgrace to my taste in men if something like that ever happens. In the past, i had always got in fight over where & what to eat for lunch/dinners due to veg/non-veg business and that too I've never once paid, NEVER!!! Specially when that person loves to take me out for dinner, parties, & long drives for years & years! Without including all those touché gifts! lol I guess some folks are just too romantic & gentlemen, unlike these stingy & weirdos!!! May such a day never come!!!! HAHAHA

Reminds me of two such incidents when I literally swooped down on the waiter who brought the bill. I was "seeing" some men - arranged marriage - and well, I didn't want to take it any further. I knew the men in question were going to be hurt by the rejection and I didn't want to hog and then add more salt to the injury by saying "no". Maybe I wasn't being considerate, but my biggest concern then was to get out of the mess. Pronto

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