Caring for Your Aging Parents

Caring for your aging parents is something you hope you can handle when the time comes, but it's the last thing you want to think about. Whether the time is now or somewhere down the road, there are steps that you can take to make your life (and theirs) a little easier. Some people live their entire lives with little or no assistance from family and friends, but today Americans are living longer than ever before. It's always better to be prepared.

Mom? Dad? We need to talk

The first step you need to take is talking to your parents. Find out what their needs and wishes are. In some cases, however, they may be unwilling or unable to talk about their future. This can happen for a number of reasons, including:

Incapacity

Fear of becoming dependent

Resentment toward you for interfering

Reluctance to burden you with their problems

If such is the case with your parents, you may need to do as much planning as you can without them. If their safety or health is in danger, however, you may need to step in as caregiver. The bottom line is that you need to have a plan. If you're nervous about talking to your parents, make a list of topics that you need to discuss. That way, you'll be less likely to forget anything. Here are some things that you may need to talk about:

Long-term care insurance: Do they have it? If not, should they buy it?

Living arrangements: Can they still live alone, or is it time to explore other options?

Medical care decisions: What are their wishes, and who will carry them out?

Financial planning: How can you protect their assets?

Estate planning: Do they have all of the necessary documents (e.g., wills, trusts)?

Expectations: What do you expect from your parents, and what do they expect from you?

Preparing a personal data record

Once you've opened the lines of communication, your next step is to prepare a personal data record. This document lists information that you might need in case your parents become incapacitated or die. Here's some information that should be included:

Advisor information: Names and phone numbers of any professional service providers

Location of other important records: Keys to safe-deposit boxes, real estate deeds

Be sure to write down the location of documents and any relevant account numbers. It's a good idea to make copies of all of the documents you've gathered and keep them in a safe place. This is especially important if you live far away, because you'll want the information readily available in the event of an emergency.

Where will your parents live?

If your parents are like many older folks, where they live will depend on how healthy they are. As your parents grow older, their health may deteriorate so much that they can no longer live on their own. At this point, you may need to find them in-home health care or health care within a retirement community or nursing home. Or, you may insist that they come to live with you. If money is an issue, moving in with you may be the best (or only) option, but you'll want to give this decision serious thought. This decision will impact your entire family, so talk about it as a family first. A lot of help is out there, including friends and extended family. Don't be afraid to ask.

Evaluating your parents' abilities

If you're concerned about your parents' mental or physical capabilities, ask their doctor(s) to recommend a facility for a geriatric assessment. These assessments can be done at hospitals or clinics. The evaluation determines your parents' capabilities for day-to-day activities (e.g., cooking, housework, personal hygiene, taking medications, making phone calls). The facility can then refer you and your parents to organizations that provide support.

If you can't be there to care for your parents, or if you just need some guidance to oversee your parents' care, a geriatric care manager (GCM) can also help. Typically, GCMs are nurses or social workers with experience in geriatric care. They can assess your parents' ability to live on their own, coordinate round-the-clock care if necessary, or recommend home health care and other agencies that can help your parents remain independent.

Get support and advice

Don't try to care for your parents alone. Many local and national caregiver support groups and community services are available to help you cope with caring for your aging parents. If you don't know where to find help, contact your state's department of eldercare services. Or, call (800) 677-1116 to reach the Eldercare Locator, an information and referral service sponsored by the federal government that can direct you to resources available nationally or in your area. Some of the services available in your community may include:

Caregiver support groups and training

Adult day care

Respite care

Guidelines on how to choose a nursing home

Free or low-cost legal advice

Once you've gathered all of the necessary information, you may find some gaps. Perhaps your mother doesn't have a health-care directive, or her will is outdated. You may wish to consult an attorney or other financial professional whose advice both you and your parents can trust.

Investments in securities, annuities and insurance are not insured by the FDIC or any federal government agency; may lose value; are not a deposit or other obligation of, or guaranteed by, any bank or bank affiliate; and are subject to investment risks, including possible loss of the principal amount invested. Brokerage and some investment advisory services are offered through First Citizens Investor Services, Inc. FINRA/SIPC. First Citizens Asset Management, Inc. provides investment advisory services. Check the background of this firm on FINRA’s BrokerCheck.

This information is provided for educational purposes only and should not be relied on or interpreted as accounting, financial planning, investment, legal or tax advice. First Citizens Bank [or its affiliates] neither endorses nor guarantees this information, and encourages you to consult a professional for advice applicable to your specific situation. First Citizens Investor Services [or its affiliates], are not affiliated with Broadridge.

Broadridge Investor Communication Solutions, Inc. does not provide investment, tax, or legal advice. The information presented here is not specific to any individual's personal circumstances.

To the extent that this material concerns tax matters, it is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, by a taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed by law. Each taxpayer should seek independent advice from a tax professional based on his or her individual circumstances.

These materials are provided for general information and educational purposes based upon publicly available information from sources believed to be reliable—we cannot assure the accuracy or completeness of these materials. The information in these materials may change at any time and without notice.

Thank you for your inquiry. A First Citizens Representative will contact you shortly.

An error occurred while sending your request. Please try again.

Would you like to know more about our products and services? Give us
your name, phone number, area of interest and what time is convenient
for you. We will have a qualified First Citizens associate contact
you to answer your questions.

Directions

Your Browser Is Not Supported – Please Upgrade

In order to view and use certain First Citizens Bank products, services and webpages, we recommend that you use a current version of one of the following browsers. You can upgrade your existing browser by clicking one of the links below. You will need to restart your computer in order to complete the upgrade.

If you do not upgrade your browser, you may experience functional or display issues on the pages you are attempting to access.

1. Upon clicking this link, you will leave the First Citizens Bank website and go to a third party site. Third party sites may have a privacy policy different from First Citizens Bank and may provide less security than this site. First Citizens Bank and its affiliates are not responsible for the products, services, and content on any third party website.