This post has two alternate titles: “Vegetables? What vegetables?” and “I like my steak blue rare…your point?”

I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand tequila as a liquor. It smells bad, it’s got an awful aftertaste, and whenever I drink it, I feel like I’m about to up-chuck into the nearest vomit-friendly receptacle. However, one night, M and I stood in front of the fridge, faced with a dilemma: we had one large steak, uncooked, sitting on the topmost shelf. How is that a problem, you ask? Well, economy being what it is, we try our best to make use of everything we buy, and red meat is no exception. In short, we didn’t want it to go bad, but couldn’t think of what to actually do with it. It was too small to feed two, but each of us would feel guilty if we ate it and the other ate something else. So, I did what any frugal chef should: I drowned the thing in spices and liquor, sliced it up thin as paper and made it into some of the best soft tacos we’d ever eaten.

M, however, was not satisfied. She took one bite of that steak and proclaimed it the best thing she’d ever tasted. I was inclined to agree, but balked when she asked me to do it again (on purpose, this time.) You see, I hadn’t actually measured anything out…to this day, I still don’t. You really can add any balance of spices you like with this steak, and it’ll still come out tasting pretty fine. The only thing you need to remember, pheasants, is to stick to the liquor amounts noted. I say this because, upon hearing how tasty the steak was, my mother insisted I make it for the family over the fourth of July weekend this year, which I did. However, also at her behest, I added wayyy more tequila than I’d ever thought necessary (my mom loves tequila.) It turned out much too strongly, and, although it was absolutely amazing the following day, I really love warm meat; I was sad that it wasn’t as tasty as I generally remembered. So, pheasants, go nuts with the spice measurements and making it your own, but I’d highly recommend not fudging on the amount of tequila.

So, what’s so great about this steak, you ask? Well, I’ll give you some adjectives; you can tell me whether or not they appeal to you. Here’s one: succulent. Here’s another: tender. Also, spicy, flavorful, punchy (from the lime and tequila mix) and just plain delicious. It’s great in a soft taco with sour cream, beans, onions and cilantro, but tastes just as good (if not better) cold, sliced thin and piled high on ciabatta with some avocado spread, fresh arugula or spinach, tomato and spicy chipotle sauce. This spice/liquor mixture might even go well on chicken, or lamb (laaaaaamb!)

Juice and zest the lime into a small bowl, making sure you get every last bit of deliciousness lying within. Then, add in the spices, making sure to stir it well so there aren’t any clumps. Add in your tequila, mix it all up again, and dump everything into a zip-top plastic bag large enough to fit the steak. Insert the steak, zip the top and squish it all around until the steak is well-coated. Marinate it for at least two hours, or overnight if you like. Then, grill, broil or fry the steak to your liking, slice it up thin and serve it with tasty condiments.

Skinny Pheasant’s Low-Cal Garlic Mash

2 medium russet potatoes

1/2 tbsp butter

2 tsp garlic powder

2 tsp garlic oil

4 tbsp 1% milk

Chop the potatoes and boil them until tender. Then, strain them from the water, and add them to a large bowl. Add the butter, garlic oil and garlic powder; mash them until they’re at the consistency you prefer. Then, add salt slowly, tasting afterward to make sure it’s delicious. We added freshly-ground black pepper to it, too, to kick everything to the next level.

2 tbsp adobo sauce (you can find this in the can chipotle chiles come in)

fresh ground pepper

cilantro to taste

Mix this all up together, making sure it’s well-incorporated. Taste often to make sure it tastes the way you’d like it to.

The chipotle sauce goes absolutely fantastically with meats of any kind, and is so ridiculously versatile; spread it on sandwiches in place of mayo or mustard, dip fries or chicken nuggets into it…the possibilities are endless. (It’s also tasty on burritos or tacos of ANY kind.)

Questionable content:

M loves her steak medium, and I enjoy mine blue rare…how do you prefer your steak, and does it jive with the preferences of your significant other?