Sam Smith - March 31, 2011'Show don't tell' is what one tends to hear in every poetry workshop. For instance 'as it concedes to this psychological torture' is telling. Here you should be depicting the psychological torture.
Sorry I don't have time to expound further.

exfisi - March 30, 2011hi. am sorry but I dont understand what u mean by 'telling' expound? or example? ty for the feed back

Sam Smith - March 26, 2011In the first sentence you tell with 'Bruised by anger of the heart' rather than show. Cut that, and all other 'telling' throughout. Try it in the third person, from both sexes.

Carmen Ruggero - December 8, 2010Tammi, I just now read your comment. Thank you so much for reading and and commenting on my work!

Carmen

tlp - September 29, 2010Carmen, I am relatively new here and must admit I am not familiar with your work, but this is absolutely beautiful. Regrettably,I could read only the English version, but your imagery is amazing.