Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I wanna be a lemur too! Getting a little Zen ;) And my new Klassical trainer fakometer!!!

I totally loved a line from cotherhood. Someone in the hunter forum described themselves as still looking like a coked out lemur when he/she rode… I thought it pretty hilarious because there a times I look like a pot smoking sloth ;)

Cother:

Me:

“Huh? Whuh? Whats a medium…. *snort*, lengthen what? Duuuuudeee!”

I am watching my husband do pull-ups as we speak… Workout tonight? Naaaaah, I think I’ll vege in lala-blog-land.

Anywho, the latest and greatest love in my tv life is the show “Jockey”. Have you seen this show???!!!

It is now on netflix only two years late lol and I am totally hooked by these list of amazing things:

Number one! Jockeys have to be like 110 pounds

Number two! Jockeys have to like seriously be like 110 pounds

Number three! Like to ride horses and do their sport they have to be like only 110 pounds

There are other things, but this just boggles my mind. I begrudge my need to lose a few… Okay FINE, QUITE a few, but anyway I whine, moan, and basically sing angry songs in my head about the fact that I crave to eat cereal 10 times a day, and have pasta products as a main food group. I like soda and coffee, and then some tea to wash that down so basically any water that even thinks of hydrating this old flesh factory gets diareticted right back out. Healthy much!

I totally root for the old guys, and of course any of the lady jockeys! If the horses look even semi like my red bullet I yell at the tv shouting them to the finish line!

“Did you just see him bump?!”

“Weak riding…. WEAAAAAK RIDING!”

I try and act like I have a freaking clue, but really it’s such an interesting world with huge gambles… The only gamble in my house is if that sticky bun is gonna last another day.

One guy said he broke 30 bones! Another said he made like 6 million or something on a race! WOWOWOW!

Okay and because of this show I found another horsey love. I watched a dark mare run the track from last to win a breeders cup race and her LONG loping stride making it all look so easy… (chills) Anyway, I’d never heard of the mare but seeing that race I was super fan immediately… Little did I know that Zenyatta is quite the queen of racing including a horse of the year award… But all of that aside when I saw her notorious pre-race walk where she catlike jigs pointing her toes out like she is an incredibly dainty warrior… I was sold.

You can see it here J Not as jiggy but the long cat pointy toe walk is there.

She is quite the celebrity! She has her own facebook, diary updates, and her very own bronze statue at Santa Anita!… This lovely lady is also about to foal out and I can’t wait to see the first pics of the lil baby Zenyatta or Zenyatto ;)

I suggest you watchy watch this one (Jockeys) if you get the chance… It gives me some horsey pursuit perspective to be shoooore!

Moving on…

Okay, so I finally have come up with a way to identify the more Klassical versions of dressage… Whenever a trainer/clinician states they are “Classical” or especially MORE “Classical” than anyone who trains under the age of 50 years old, then you can use the following to identify when the ratio is more Klassictastical and majical then it is actual training J

So there is a big red line there that gives the reasonable amount of training to receive to put up with a “classical” approach.

If the clinician or trainer is on or above the line you are possible being taken by the charms of Sir Klassicalian!!!!

So examples…

Grey star = You are basic walk trot canter and trainer/clinician has an accent is male and trains from ground and you are in the no riding zone (buzzer sound)

Fakometer’s recommendation: Case klosed… Klassical!

Blue star= First level but has an accent and is male (pursed lips)

Fakometer’s recommendation: Too klose for comfort mate… Klassical!

Green= Congratulations you are doing something besides piaffe!

Fakometer’s recommendation: Good learnin ahead!

Red star= Extensions??!!!! Lots of room there for all kinds of Klassical tendencies…

Fakometer’s recommendation: Keep her trucking dressagiosa! You are gonna be somebody!