Are Roller Coasters Safe?

In light of recent events with “the Smiler” at Alton Towers – and the inevitable 24/7 news coverage about it, it’s good to have some perspective on events like it.

So, before you start clicking on those “roller coaster accident” click-bait links, or go off on social media, spouting that, “…all rides are unsafe and you’ll never go on one again” (liar), here’s some “odds of” over your lifetime that should bring you some perspective:

The odds of dying on a roller coaster as a result or either neglect or act of God are approximately 1 in 300,000,000. That’s 300 MILLION for those who stopped counting zeroes. This is according to the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission. Also…

The odds of being killed in a car crash in the United States: 1 in 470

The odds of being killed by lightning: 1 in 164,968

The odds of winning the Mega Millions jackpot: 1 in 259,000,000

The odds of bowling a perfect game in bowling: 1 in 11,500

The odds of marrying a supermodel: 1 in 880,000

The odds of being killed by a shark: 1 in 300,000,000

The odds of drowning in a pool: 1 in 567

The odds of being killed by a terrorist: 1 in 20,000,000

The bottom line: you should be fearing those numbnuts in ISIS, planning how to spend all that lottery jackpot money or discussing how you’ll spend your honeymoon with Kate Upton or Gabriela Fernandes before you EVER think twice about jumping on your favorite roller coaster.

SIDE BAR: Kate or Gabriela, you’re welcome to join me on ANY coaster, ANYtime!