Temperance

A woman pours water from a pitcher onto a blazing fire,
creating a cloud of steam that rises around her. Autumn leaves settle
to earth behind her.

In classical Greek thought, Temperance was the highest of
virtues; in fact the term was nearly synomymous with virtue itself.
In recent times, the word has taken on a very narrow meaning having
to do with alcohol consumption, but the original meaning had to do
with curbing the passions and apetites, and moderation in all things.
Whereas fortitude (Strength) dealt with controlling one's fears,
Temperance pertained to controlling one's desires.

In the Intimacy Tarot, the card is about softening strong
feelings, so that we can approach others from a more balanced, less
volatile center. The figure in the card does not really seek to
extinguish her passions or stomp them out, but only to manage them,
to keep them from igniting the entire landscape. The steam that rises
is the product of her efforts, a mixing of fire and water that
conveys to others the heat of her passions, without burning or
blinding them. It also, incidentally, shrouds her own face in mist, a
reminder that self-image and ego are not her dominant concerns.
Holding ones passions in check sometimes requires swallowing some
pride.

Autumn is a season of letting go and slowing down. It is about
giving things a rest, about foregoing the initiation of new projects
and allowing those already in motion to run their course. The leaves,
ironically, echo the bright colors of the fire, even as they settle
to the ground to die and decay. The leaves are themselves symbols of
temperance, sharing the colors of their passion but surrendering
themselves to the cool, restful air of the waning year.

The key to temperance is knowing how much water to pour on the
fire. Too little, and our desires rage too fiercely, overwhelming our
judgment and sacrificing our long-term needs to our momentary urges.
Too much, and we extinguish our own light, becoming passionless and
passive, with no way to authentically convey what we care about, to
others or even to ourselves. By mastering temperance, we acquire some
hope of maintaing integrity in our dealings with others.

Ironically, dampening our desires is often the most effective
way of realizing them. When we maintain control, and project that
control to others, our desires seem much less threatening, and are
less likely to provoke defensive reactions.