Thursday, April 28, 2011

Almost Didn't Cut My Hair

Summer's basically here already, and long hair in Texas summer is something to avoid.

But that sort of motivates me not to bother cutting my hair in spring, knowing that I'll be chopping it all off in summer.

But I was tired of my wife's snooty hairdresser, and went into this new place, a chain popping up around town that has a sort of a funky Southwest, Freebirds burritos kind of a vibe if you know what I mean.

I was looking particularly gnarly, unshaven, scraggly, sandwich sauce on my shirt, when I walked in. I woke up with this headache. The haircut I had been longing for was the only useful thing I could think of to do with myself besides spilling a sandwich on me.

I took one look at the the tattooed young barberess and said "don't restrain yourself. Make me look like a Republican". She blinked for a second, then said "oh, sure, you want the Uptighty Whitey." I said I reckoned that I did, "The Uptighty Whitey is just exactly the thing" I allowed.

She said "I'll have you lookin' like Dan Quayle in no time," and I sort of shrugged. Haven't laid eyes on the fellow in years, but he was always kind of good looking that I remember. Unstressed fellow. Golfer. You know.

About three quarters of the way through it I allowed as how it was working. "I am trying to think of a small country to invade" I told her.

As a first timer I got a delicious shampoo, head massage, hot towel on the face and shoulder massage for free, normally $3 extra. Floyd's, the barber shop is called. But it's nothing like Mayberry. Good haircut too, for a UyWy. I recommend the place.

1 comment:

One of the best parts of my recent Las Vegas adventure was a $35 haircut, nice and tight, followed by a shampoo and a little styling. Granted, there's not much left to style. If you haven't had a young tattoo'd pretty thing fawn over you and massage your wet shampoo'd scalp until you melt, then you haven't lived. That was the advice I received, and that's the advice I'll pass on. Such pampering would make anyone feel like they could conquer a small third world country! Plus, there was a groupon.