Pages

April 30, 2015

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll go ahead and
say it again for posterity’s sake: I used to have a PSP, but it decided to up
and die on me. The likely reason is that
its internal parts melted from overheating -- which is plenty feasible,
considering how hot that sucker got when I used it. Incidentally, the last game I played on it --
and really, the only game I bothered playing on it besides a packed-in ATV
racer -- was Dissidia: Final Fantasy. So I can’t say I shed any tears over the
loss. I did have a DS to fall back on,
after all.

I also can’t say that I look fondly on Dissidia. The idea behind it was certainly a good one,
and some of the moves in it hit harder than a runaway freight train, but the
gameplay system -- the Brave and HP gauges -- added a level of complexity that
didn’t need to be there, and it was way too easy for things to turn into a
button-mashy mess. I don’t think I need
to tell you that the story didn’t hold up (unless you’re the sort who enjoys
playing through the same character arc about nine times in a row), but that
would have been okay if the gameplay left a strong impression years after its
release. It didn’t. I played it plenty, sure, but probably just
because of the novelty of the thing instead of the merit.

And that brings us to Type-0 -- a game that, once again, has a bad story. But this time, it’s starting to look like the
gameplay really can’t make up for
it. The novelty sure as hell can’t.

April 27, 2015

Does it make me more of a nerd to admit that I
think Star Trek is really cool? Or does it make me less of a nerd because I’m
only just now admitting that in writing?

I guess I should start by saying that in this
case, I’m talking specifically about Star
Trek: The Next Generation, because I happened to catch a few episodes of
those recently. But I’m not opposed to
any of the others. Quite the opposite;
when I was a little baby Voltech I used to drift off to sleep thanks to the
lulling tones of reruns for TNG, Deep
Space Nine, and Voyager. (Not Enterprise,
though -- I don’t remember there being any reruns, at least none that threw
themselves at me.) Most of the show’s
dialogue was lost on me, naturally, but these days? If and when I catch reruns of TNG, I find myself pulling a Shulk and
going “I’m really feeling it!”

In all honesty, though, I’m still a greenhorn when
it comes to the franchise. So what do
you say we unpack this for a bit? I’m
sure it won’t be that hard, seeing as how it’s already off to a strong start. As if you needed a reminder that SPACE IS
AWESOME.

April 23, 2015

There’s a part of me that wants to see Platinum
Games make a character action game based on Modern
Family.

I’m not just saying that because Platinum makes
some of the best games around. Nor am I
saying it just because I started watching Modern
Family (reruns, mostly) semi-recently.
It comes from an honest belief that the show utilizes its characters
much better than I would have guessed.
We’re talking about a cast of eleven -- a full dozen once new kid Joe
starts talking -- with episodes that feature as many as five plots running
simultaneously. It’s consistently funny,
and that’s largely because it follows the golden rule: characters create opportunities.
Plus it can get pretty freaking absurd.

So yes, I want to see more of them, and I think
that it’d be nuts to see what Platinum could do for them. Yeah, Modern
Family’s not exactly fight-intensive, but imagining the possibilities puts
a smile on my face. What if Phil had to
stave off an attack from lonely magicians with trapeze skills? What if Jay did sick dog combos to be graded
Pure Platinum by a panel of judges? What
if Cam had a Devil Trigger that turned him into his clown persona? I could go on, but the point is that there’s
so much that can be done with characters -- and whether they’re given the
Platinum touch or not, the guys behind Modern
Family have done enough. They get the importance of good characters.

April 20, 2015

Full disclosure: I’m pretty sure I’m on record --
maybe even here on this blog -- saying something along the lines of “I hate Mortal Kombat” or “I’ve never like Mortal Kombat”. So yeah, I can’t exactly claim that I’m fair
and unbiased here; that said, the latest Mortal
Kombat installment is out, I played it, and…yeah, it’s all right. Neither its story nor its gameplay are
mind-blowing, but it’s still serviceable.
And I’d bet that it IS mind-blowing for the true fans. I’ll try and get a post uploaded explaining
my thoughts, but only after I’ve
spent more time with it.

Until then, there’s other stuff worth talking
about. Stuff
that I really don’t want to wait to get into, seeing as how it’s been fresh on
my mind, and it’s a pretty important
subject. For those unaware: MKX’s story mode brings us newcomer Kung
Jin, who was recently confirmed to be the canon’s first gay character. In typical internet fashion, it caused quite
a stir, with harsh words thrown from both sides.

So.
Assuming that I have the tact for it, what do you say we have a little
discussion on it?

April 16, 2015

This isn’t just someone who lives in a post-Incredibles world. It’s just that I’ve never really seen the
appeal of capes; sure, guys like Superman or Dracula can pull it off, but
they’re just so gaudy and cumbersome.
Now, something like a nice, long scarf?
Not exactly practical in a fight, but still plenty cool. Capes, not so much. I mean, I’d prefer no cape to a costume over anything else, including scarves. See: more Kamen Riders than I can count, but let’s
start here.

So I can’t say I’m too keen on Class Zero’s
capes. They’re in Type-0 so that the cadets of Akademeia can tell at a glance what
person is in what class -- and their home country has a high reliance on magic,
so it fits the motif. Though that begs
the question of why soldiers would go out onto the battlefield wearing prim and
proper uniforms, and to a lesser extent takes some of the oomph out of their
character designs. Then again, that’s a
complaint you could lob at a lot of
Japanese stories, and to be fair it’s not as if the fourteen characters’
uniforms are 100% identical. That’s a
plus, even if they’re wearing stupid capes.

If it seems like I’m focusing too much on trivial
matters like capes and uniforms…well, it’s because I am. So let’s switch gears and talk about Type-0’s gameplay. Hang your capes up at the door.

April 13, 2015

There’s a part of me that wants to load up this
post with all the spoilers I can, and that’s largely because this is a sequel
series. Gundam Build Fighters Try is the second season, while the vanilla Gundam Build Fighters is the first; you
can technically get away with skipping the first season, but I wouldn’t
recommend it because of just how GOODthe
first season is. That
puts me in a situation where I have to not
spoil either season, but also where in order to explain what’s good, I have
to spoil things in one, the other, or both.
For anyone who wants to go in blind, that’s a problem.

So I guess there’s only one way to handle it: to
spoil as needed in the paragraphs to come.
For those who are already willing to give it a shot, here’s a
spoiler-free rundown. Is Build Fighters Try good? Yes.
Did I enjoy watching it?
Yes. Is it better than the first
season? No. Are there flaws? Yes.
Is this season enough to sour me to the franchise? Not even close; I’m waiting with bated breath
for the announcement of a third season.

Now then.
Let’s get started. With more spoilers
than you can shake a beam saber at.

April 9, 2015

Given how FF7
played out, I was under the impression that Cloud was supposed to be a deep
probing of the archetype, the concept, and the player. Hey, you over there playing this! You’re not a badass super soldier tough
guy! You’re just some wannabe! But you know what? That’s
fine, because even if you’re not the coolest dude around, you can still be
a good guy and do good things! But even
before the big reveal, I thought he was actually a bit of a joker. Still a jerk, sure, but was Cloud (ignoring
his appearances/actions in Kingdom
Hearts, Dissidia, and especially
Advent Children) ever what you’d call “angsty” or “emo”? I honestly can’t say for sure.

I ask this for two reasons. The first is that people have been calling
Lightning “female Cloud” for years, and I don’t agree with that. Her arc (such as it is) has no such merit,
and even Advent Children Cloud has
more color to him than she did over the course of three games. Cloud’s specter hangs over the franchise,
which wouldn’t be so bad if we had an ironclad understanding of just who he
is. And that feeds into my second point:
there’s been an even bigger specter of AAAAAAAAAAAAANGSTand
EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhanging over the franchise (and Squeenix games in
general) for ages. If Squeenix wants its
reputation back, then it’s going to have to answer a simple question: how do
you get rid of that stigma?

Type-0
is here to offer an answer.
Unfortunately, it’s the wrong answer.

April 6, 2015

Beyond: Two
Souls is not a good game. You should
know that going into this post.

It’s not a good game. It’s not a good movie. It’s not a good story. It’s not a good anything. The nicest thing
you could say about it -- like a lot of games these days -- is “at least it
looks nice”. And to what end? I’d say it’s at the cost of everything else,
but this game is largely the brainchild of Quantic Dream and David Cage. He knew what he was doing. So did his cadre. Compromises had to be made, sure, but this is
a game that at least tries, and likely tries hard, to stick to a creative vision. That’s respectable, but the final product is
proof that sometimes that isn’t always for the best.

At this stage, I’d bet that anyone who cares about
the game already knows if they like it or not.
Enough words were spared via release window reviews. The Best Friends Zaibatsu’s LP is practically
a PSA on avoiding it. Even I’ve gone on
about it on more than one occasion. So
the assumption is that there’s nothing left to say.

Except there is.
Because what this game implies -- what it practically expects of us --
paints a pretty bleak picture of the gaming culture.

April 2, 2015

You know what I realized? I never really explained why all my FF13-2 posts were titled “Good Morning,
Kupo!”

There’s a cutscene early on in the game where
leading lady -- sure, let’s call her that -- Serah strikes out on her adventure
in earnest. But before she can get too
far, she meets up with one of her friends and offers her greeting. Or rather, the player does; it’s one of the
instances where you can choose from a handful of dialogue options. One of them, as you can guess, is “Good
morning, kupo!” And the NPC says it
right back. It makes (just barely
enough) sense contextually, because Serah’s weapon is actually a Mog that ends
pretty much every sentence with kupo.
And yes, it’s precisely as grating as you’d expect.

For one reason or another, I can’t help but think
of “Good morning, kupo” as a tribute to “Good morning, Crono” from Chrono Trigger. And really, isn’t that just dandy? It’s perfect for a game about time
travel! It makes for a multi-layered
thematic implementation for a blog post title!
It’s a grim reminder of a line that lets a company half-built on
nostalgia substitute effort and quality with pandering references that provoke
shallow, guttural reactions from audiences hungry for new experiences instead
of reminders of games long since bested!

Don’t worry, though. That’s not as big of a problem with Type-0. But it does have a major one.

April 1, 2015

I’m not even joking here. I am totally, 100% serious. Don’t even bother to deny it, and you should
definitely not pay attention to what day it is.
Take a seat and clench those teeth, because now it’s time for me to
explain why.

Because today is a special, glorious, very
important day. And it’ll stay that way
as long as you don’t look at the calendar.