Sex Toys 247 Blog

Unleash Your Inner Submissive

March 27, 2014 | Posted by Wendy Young

Do you find emotional fulfillment while taking care of other’s needs? Do you prefer to let others make important decisions? You may be a hidden submissive! If you’ve never practiced BDSM in the bedroom you may be missing out on a whole new world of sexual fulfillment.
If you’re aroused at the idea of taking on a submissive role in your sex life take some time alone to explore this side of yourself. Use the internet to explore the idea of dominance/submissive sex play.

There are numerous online resources that explain the practice of sexual submission.

Submissives find a great deal of sexual fulfillment in giving complete control of their bodies to their partners. Browse through an online adult toy store and see what BDSM items spark your arousal. Fantasize about how you and your partner may use the toys, and purchase the ones that you feel most comfortable experimenting with.

It is very important for a submissive to choose the right dominant. If you are already in a happy, committed relationship your partner probably already exhibits natural dominant traits that compliment your natural submissive traits. If you’re in a casual sexual relationship it is important that you completely trust you partner with your physical and emotional wellbeing before you suggest a dominance/submissive relationship.

Once you’ve explained your desires to your partner give them time to consider taking on the dominant role. Then sit down and discuss together the types of dominance/submissive play you’re both comfortable experimenting with. Before you begin, designate a neutral safe word that either of you can use to alter the other that you aren’t enjoying the play.

It usually isn’t advisable to jump in to advanced dominance/submissive play. The realities of actions do not always match up with the fantasies of them, and you may find that you don’t enjoy being dominated as much as you thought you would.

There are varying degrees of submission, and it’s best to start with something mild and work your way up.

Begin with light bondage toys such as silk ties or a padded paddle (click here). Tease your partner that you’ve been bad and insist you need a spanking. Or present your partner with the toys and tell them their wish is your demand. You can guide your partner into the dominant role without breaking your submissive play by simply stating what you’d like them to do, followed by ‘please’. By asking or even begging your partner for what you want instead of directing them, they maintain control of the situation and remain in the dominant position. This may be necessary if your partner doesn’t have prior dominant experience.

When playing a submissive sexual role keep in mind that your satisfaction is just as important as your dominant’s. If you feel your dominant is placing their sexual gratification above yours or using BDSM to take out aggression use your safe word and put a stop to the action immediately. Don’t engage in further BDSM play until you’ve resolved outside issues.