To think I may have cursed my child with middleagedteendom.

DD (16) and her boyfriend are going to a Steampunk event. They are going dressed in 'character', no problem with that, they have attended other such events, mixed with other such young people similarly attired and had a great time.This time it is being held in a venue outside of the city centre, with only the facilities available that belong to the venue, as its touristy, they can be quite pricey. DD has just told me they are planning on taking a picnic and flask of tea.I jokingly suggested they took a picnic blanket as well, which she took to be a very good suggestion instead of a joke.

Where have I gone wrong with my parenting?I feel like I've failed somehow.

They should be planning on slurping a couple of cans and eating bags of chips, while standing nonchalantly amongst these Steampunk, Gothic types, not taking a bloody flask of tea with them, like an auld biddy on a day trip.Perhaps its my fault, but I blame places like the N.T, she must have had too much exposure when she was younger. I need to re read their 50 things to do malarky and see if it includes 'pottering around the gift shop', 'lugging a flask of tea' and 'commenting on the quality of the scones'.

So would I be unreasonable to hide all our flasks before the event?

I feel it would be a merciful action to save them from themselves, preventing them from prematurely looking for Bargain Hunt on iplayer and flicking through the Lakeland catalogue.

Is middleagedteendom the new rebellion of the youth of today? Might I be exposing them to ridicule and embarrassment, without these status symbols of revolution and youth culture? ( or flask and picnic blanket as I call it)

I'm just going to try and find Steampunk type cagoules now, in case it rains on the day, or maybe they still do those plastic headscarves my granny used to be fond of.

I feel like I'm in some sort of Ad Fab type parenting set up sometimes. How did I get this sensible offspring, is this really my child?

Amanda Oh that could be it, I'll check to see if she makes milky tea!

Zukiecat I am sure she's channeling my Great Grandma, when DD is talking about how other people are dressed when wearing skimpy or impractical things.

FrauMoose Glad its not just me then.

DD1 is just as bad, talking about possible university places with her friend, recommended one place because they are supposed to have a good Christmas market! I dared her to ask about it on the Open Day, which she did when others asked about the night life etc, she has no shame in her premature middleageness.

I was like this as a teenager, very sensible - until I went to uni and learned to party. She will have wild times in the future but you can be reassured she'll be the one getting everyone safely home at the end of the night.

It's a rebellion against us, I say. Mine is the same, very sensible and mature beyond her years. Total non conformist and so different from the teens of today. I'm hoping she changes as she gets into her 20's

But Boredwench should I really be boasting about a teenager and a flask of tea? Is it a sign that they have turned out well or have I failed them somehow and they are now doomed to granny behaviour prematurely?

When I was a young warthog, I certainly wouldn't have taken a flask, I'd have gone to the pub instead, but certainly didn't think of myself as some 'feral fuckwit', just average teenage behaviour in those days of not much ID checking.

Look at as you like, you know mumsnet is full of competative parents trying to outdo each other.....anyway, putting my cautionary cynicism aside!!

Kids these days can't win, if they are unruly/rebellious then they're seen as 'feral fuckwits' as I elegantly put it! Or if they're mild mannered and prefer the 'middle aged' things you mentioned then they're seen as boring and unimaginative (look at some of the comments on a recent BBC article on said subject). On the whole I find kids are walking contradictions, it depends on the context whether they're unruly or not.

I think back to my childhood and we used to smoke weed whilst doing various physics based things (did a masters in astrophysics). Hard to be a 'rebel' with a joint in one hand when you're staying up all night finishing off some papers for uni the next day!! It depends who's asking the question and the person answering it!!

I was a middle aged teen. I spent many an evening waiting up for my mother and berating her when she got home late from the pub She has now got all her fingers and toes crossed that my own dc have their own serious teen rebellion involving lots of drugs, sex and tattoos

I think the whole tea and picnic thing is part of the steampunk culture. The fashions based around Victorian fashion with a twist, so I think drinking tea and having a lovey picnic is part of the whole 'experience'