5 Reasons to Look Forward to Fall…

Even though I am not mentally prepared for the end of summer….it’s unavoidable.

What can I do but succumb to the seasonal change? I have to just look for something positive in this….

So here are some reasons I am happy that the summer is over:

I DON’T HAVE TO BE A NURSE:

I mean I don’t recall thinking that when I allowed my husband to impregnate me that I would have to morph into a full-time nurse.

My children wear flip-flops all summer and ride bikes and scooters at warp speeds, often ending in disaster. They get into fights at the park, they get ear infections and swimmer’s ear, they stub their toes.

They get eaten and bitten by bugs and jellyfish, they get poison ivy. The amount of injuries and rashes are obscene and disgusting.

I now have a medical bag filled with various ointments, bandages and gauze wraps that would rival Florence Nightingale’s.

Yet I don’t really have the stomach for all of this.

I am ill-equipped for children that drive their bicycles at full-speed ahead into a stone wall…..

Here’s Michael’s leg after he lost control of his bike.

I also not prepared mentally for children that decide to go “crabbing in a creek” and come home the next day with a rash that is called impetigo. This is a rash that is the worst thing that you can ever find on WebMD. I won’t even show it here, because you will want to vomit. Like I do every day.

So, some pants, closed toed shoes and sitting safely at desks all day might actually be nice for a change.

I CAN STRIKE A POSE WITH HER MADGESTY:

Every few years, the most magical thing happens.

Madonna comes to town.

My idol.

My cousin and I load up our arms with jelly bracelets and put on our Madonna concert t-shirts and enjoy the most amazing show in the world.

It’s no matter that the Material Girl is in her late fifties – and it’s no matter that we are just some suburban housewives out for a fun night….

So what happens in the summer is, I lose interest in keeping the kids on lock-down.

We start off the summer well. I totally know where they are. I feed them dinner and lunch. They are eating fresh vegetables and fruit, getting fresh air and vitamin D, and reading their books at night.

That all very quickly falls apart.

Before I know it, I am throwing hot dogs onto paper plates and they have forgotten how to spell their last names.

We have had a great summer at the beach, but now we are fat, (very tan) morons.

It’s time for me to buckle down as a mother and make them read and write and be upstanding members of society.

The beach has been good for our souls and our mental health but it’s time for a reality check…..

There’s 287 days until summer 2016!!! Please click the banner below to keep me in the running as the funniest mom in America!!