The Wit & Wisdom Of Noel Gallagher

As Noel Gallagher prepares to take to Glasgow’s Bellahouston stage this weekend with his High FlyingBirds, we revisit some of his most memorable quips and quotes. Never one to shy away from stating his opinion, read on for The older Brother Gallagher’s thoughts on drugs, music, the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle and his love for Liam . . .

“Until you’ve actually thrown a television set out of a window, you don’t know the sense of joy that that brings” – on the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle”

“Yeah, I got stuck in with the drugs. Well, that’s the difference between the working classes and the middle classes. The middle class experiment with drugs while the working class get stuck in”

“I love our kid. Just not as much as I love Pot Noodles”

“I’m not interested in making money. It’s just that with my talent, I’m cursed with it”

“If there were gold medals for taking drugs for England, I would have won a shitload”

“Take That’s Howard Donald said in a documentary that he hears voices at night, willing him to fail. To fail at what? You don’t do anything, Howard . . .”

“I’m not giving my records away for free. If nobody fuckin’ buys them, then . . . They’re not going out for free”

“If you’re given a blank cheque to record an album and as much studio time as you want you’re hardly gonna be focused. There’s a pub round the corner and Kentucky Fried Chicken, you just get lazy.”

“What inspires me to write music? It’s just what I do, and I’m fucking brilliant at it”

“I did drugs for 18 years and I never got that bad as to say, ‘You know what? I think The Kaiser Chiefs are brilliant!”

“Is it rock ‘n’ roll to be two hours late? Depends on what he was doing in those two hours, was he snorting coke off prostitutes? Or was he playing bridge?”

“Rock ‘n’ roll is gone at the minute. But it’ll never die”

“If you’re number one in the charts now, it automatically means you must be shit”

“This guy came up to me from some band and he said that ‘Man, I’d hate to be you right now, no privacy at all’ and I was thinking, ‘Sure thing man, I have a fucking Rolls Royce, a million dollars in the bank, a fucking mansion and my own jet and you think you’d feel sorry for me? What are you? I’d hate to be you, broke as hell living in the dole.’”

“If I ever get to the moon, I’ll probably just stand on the moon and go, ‘Hmm, fair enough, gotta go home now”

“I can’t write songs about being unemployed and young. I’m a rock star and a millionaire. It won’t be honest”

“I know I’ve got Irish blood because I wake up every day with a fuckin’ hangover”

“I’m not really bothered ’cause I won’t be there. I don’t give a shit” (On his funeral)