Not what matters to others,the tribe, employers, but what matters to each of us. Just US

So as I lay in front of the seasons first warm fire alongside my daughter as she slumbers I ask myself What Matters? What is the Goal? What would the perfect day(s) look like? Consist of? And what is the change I seek to create?

Something I embraced years ago as part of Renegade training which Coach Davies spoke of with utmost importance , that we condition ourselves in life to not endure CHAOS but to lie in wait of it. To act, to go on the offense in CHAOS that was at the core of the Renegade wheel of conditioning

That unbeknownst to me was the description of being AntiFragile

As a bodybuilder I was a artist, a sculptor however I began to realize that what I sculpted was fragile and would never withstand CHAOS

I learned this through exposure to my closest friends enrollment in the military and seeing first hand that training as we do so often in fitness makes us visually stronger but not really.

Just take a competitive bodybuilder as I was and take away their supplements , skip meals, put them in a unstable environment and just see what happens

– weight loss of dramatic proportions

– major drop in strength

– cognitive drop effecting focus

– immunity drop off

Back then I started to ask questions

These questions haunt me now and require this initiative

So where to start

Start at focusing on these targets below

Thats stage 1

– Intermittent Fasting as a 20/4 split

– limiting and restricting sugars but initially not quality carbs

– basic training –

Day1- body weight and kettlebell

Day 2- Mobility and metabolic work

Day 3- recovery I.e. yoga

Daily meditation is as integral as training for me with hypertension becoming a concern

Daily sleep at minimum 7 hours becoming a focus as well

So I shall begin. In many ways I already have begun. It’s my life. So when friends ask will I ever be onstage again

The answer is I know absolutely I can however I know with fair certainty that it would not be for me, would not be for my family so it would not be

lately I find myself scrambling for meaning and desperate for that one thing.

I find that in my life it is time to put my knowledge to the test. What good is all the reading, blogging and discussing if when put to the test we do not Believe?

So for me it means a refresh,

for me that means Focus

for me that means deletion on anything non essential

Its about getting very real

Simplicity matters, that is for certain

detachment from emotions matters big time too

selfishness matters too, despite what we are told, taking care of self does matter

I am going to blog this journey for myself as a open journal because if I am going through trials and tribulations I am certain somebody else is as well and perhaps I can help then too, or more than likely they can help me.

Think of all the facts you understand, buy into but truly if tested do not believe…how do you fare on this?

Not exactly as I would of planned but there nonetheless. Shipped episode 1. Its junk audio with not editing but I did not wish to edit the raw nature of my open mic moment/ revelation that has me more focused than ever.