MORE BREAKING NEWS: The amazing Laura DiSilverio’s new book
THE RECKONING STONES is out next week, and the Library Journal starred review says—well, it says a lot of wonderful
stuff. But the headline word is: OUTSTANDING!

But you know Laura. Her headline word is: fun. And: family. I
know her well, though, and can reveal her imagination is, well, remarkable. And
today, in these waning days of summer, if you and our family are thinking about
adventures? Laura has some hilarious ideas about where NOT to go.

This summer, the fam and I headed to Universal Studios in
Florida to visit Harry Potter World. It has long been my older daughter's
dream, and so, to celebrate her 18th birthday, we packed our sunblock, hats,
shorts, and bug spray to take on Florida in late June. I will say up front that
I am not a theme park person. They cost too much (waaay too much), they're
crowded, hot and loud. Despite that, the Harry Potter attractions captivated me
with their attention to detail, whimsy, and thrills.

My daughter teared up on
several occasions, standing in Diagon Alley and outside Hogwarts, and said,
"This is where I grew up." It brings me to tears as I type this.

However, this is not going to be a melancholy post.

Seeing
how beautifully--and realistically-- J.K. Rowling's books were brought to life
made me speculate about theme parks based on other book series, and I came up
with a Top Ten list of the book series that would make the worst amusement parks.

10. Little House on the Prairie. Riding in
a covered wagon pulled by animatronic oxen is no one's idea of a thrill, and
those with a yen for constructing log cabins can report to their nearest
Habitat for Humanity build site.

9. Michael
Shaara's Civil War 1861-1865 series
(Gods & Generals, et al). War
sucks. The Civil War sucked more than most. Fighting against kin. Gangrene and
amputations. Slash and burn warfare. Not much here to appeal to most amusement
park enthusiasts. Do a tour of Civil War battlefields instead.

8. The Mitford Series. Resisting
temptation, a church service or two, some pastoral counseling, and a bucolic
setting. Let's just say the Disney corporation isn't battling for the rights to
this series with an eye toward putting The Mitford Moral Dilemma Roller Coaster
next to Space Mountain.

7. Not really
a series, but Anything by Dickens.
Grinding poverty, noxious smells, rats the size of capybaras, class warfare. If
that's what you're after, take a walking tour of Mumbai. (Airfare to India
would be only marginally more expensive than entry to a standard amusement
park.)

6. Stephanie Plum. Once you get past the
exploding cars and the Ranger/Morelli whiplash ride, there's not much there.

5. Kay Scarpetta. With a body farm as the
main attraction, homeowners downwind will organize and get this one shut down
before it opens to the public.

4. Most cozy series. I envision this park
as a cross between a cat sanctuary and an upscale tea house. Each ticket has a
recipe printed on it, and the "Main Street" equivalent is lined with
muffin, cupcake, cheese, spice, pie, cookie, fudge and donut shops. There would
also be libraries, bookstores, and specialty boutiques. Absolutely no thrill
rides. Come to think of it, it might be my kind of theme park.

3. Madeline. Lines are a staple at
amusement parks, but requiring visitors to walk in two straight lines all the
time is really over the top. Uniforms, school, and nuns are not what most kids
want from their amusement park vacation.

2. The Hunger Games. There'd be plenty of
thrills, of course, but being handed a body bag on entry might quench people's
enthusiasm, and there wouldn't be much repeat business since only one customer
a day would get to leave the park.

1. Fifty Shades of Grey. All together now:
Ewwww.

So, that's my take on the series that wouldn't make
successful theme parks. Add your ideas in the comments, or suggest some series
that would make amazing amusement parks. You never know--the folks at Disney or
Universal Studios might be listening!

(The astute among you will have noticed this post has
nothing to do with the book I'm here to promote, The Reckoning Stones,my first standalone suspense novel that Romantic Times award four stars! (And a starred review from Library Journal!) I hope
you'll check it out, though, and pre-order a copy. It'll be in your mailbox or
e-reader queue on Sep 8th.

The
Reckoning Stonesis darker and edgier than my cozy books, but
not graphic, with a heroine who was molested by her pastor as a young teen. She
ran away the same night someone beat the pastor into a coma, and grew up to be
the emotionally troubled but brilliant jewelry designer Iris Dashwood. When the
pastor awakens 22 years later, she returns to Colorado to confront him and find
the truth of what happened the night she left. She might be able to disperse
old demons, rekindle family relationships and find redemption . . . if she
survives.)

HANK: YAY! And we’ll award a paperback of Laura’s other books to one lucky commenter!

47 comments:

Laura, I chuckled over your list of books that would make the worst amusement parks [but I must say that, despite the price, there's something special about taking the children or the grandbabies to Disney].

Although I enjoy the books, I expect the Temperance Brennan stories are also probably candidates for your list of series that wouldn't do well as a theme park. However, I'm voting for the cozy series park because I absolutely love the idea of all those good books and libraries . . . .

Laura, congrats on the new book--this sounds fascinating! I'm with Joan, sign me up for the cozy mystery theme park. All those big fluffy cats walking around and the shops--the cookies, the cakes, the yarn, the cheese...I can't wait to go!

I am so intrigued with this..you mean someone hasn't thought of the cozy park before? It's SUCH a brilliant idea. Can ou imagine?

SO--should we pitch it? I mean, we're all pretty much experts.

I could do: fashions for the chic amateur sleuth. Hallie does movie screenings, Lucy does food, of course. Susan does historical cos plays, Debs takes virtual tours of London,, and Julia has…SUndays? Or helicopter rides! ANd Laura D runs the Readaholics book club.

Joan--You are right on both counts. There is something special about Disney--the result of pixie dust, maybe--and I definitely don't want to go to a Temperance Brennan theme park (not even if Seely Booth in the form of David Boreanaz is going to be there).

I'd go to a Pemberly amusement park, especially if it featured Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy (really, I'd just like the lounge around the grounds. I'm cool with that.). And I could do the cozy park. A whole day of sitting around eating baked goods and drinking tea? Cats would be optional. I mean, they're okay; perhaps we can bring a cute puppy, too?

Your others made me giggle.

I was at the Harry Potter attraction with my kids in 2010. I know they've expanded it since. While I am no longer an amusement park person, I'd go back to Harry Potter. I'd also go back to Disney, if only to relax at the resort while the family leaves me alone to be at the park.

I'd go to a Pemberly amusement park, especially if it featured Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy (really, I'd just like the lounge around the grounds. I'm cool with that.). And I could do the cozy park. A whole day of sitting around eating baked goods and drinking tea? Cats would be optional. I mean, they're okay; perhaps we can bring a cute puppy, too?

Your others made me giggle.

I was at the Harry Potter attraction with my kids in 2010. I know they've expanded it since. While I am no longer an amusement park person, I'd go back to Harry Potter. I'd also go back to Disney, if only to relax at the resort while the family leaves me alone to be at the park.

Hi, Mary--Pemberley with Colin Firth . . . where do I get my tickets. Glad I could make you laugh today. And of course there will be puppies. I'm more of a dog person than a cat person myself. (Ssh . . . they might take away my cozy credentials for admitting that.)

Kristopher--Glad you enjoyed my riff on the Plum series. :-) I'm sure Jan/Feb are far more pleasant times, climate and crowd-wise, to be at Harry Potter. It is magical.

I thought you meant Nancy and Decca and Debo et. al. I dunno. I've always felt these sisters and their various connections (i.e., 80% of the Western world's movers and shakers of the 20th century) make for fascinating reading, but they'd be very discomforting in person. Tea with Führer? I'll pass.

(You can leave my name out of the hat too. Not that I wouldn't love another book, but I'm so commenty here, I've already got a nice little library of books from Jungle Reds.)

Well, I have to admit that I really want to go to amusement park number 4 - the cozy park! I used to love the Disney parks and then one day something just clicked: it's too expensive, too crowded, too many lines, too much bad food. I'm sure I will get my enthusiasm back, though, once the great-grandkids come for a visit.

How about an Outlander park? Yeah, yeah, too much danger, what if guests got stuck in the wrong time . . . but Jamie would be there! Worth the risk.

Congrats on the new books, sounds like an exciting must read. (And the Stephanie Plum comment was wicked funny.)

Hi, Grandma Cootie. I must admit I haven't read the Outlander series, but I'll trust your judgment that it would make a good theme park. Thanks for the congrats. I'm very excited about The Reckoning Stones (which is, of course, available for pre-order on all the usual outlets. Just saying . . .)

Laura, THE RECKONING STONES, sounds fantastic. I love troubled heroines. :-) This reminds me that I need to do a share on Facebook. Fellow commenters, if you don't already know, Laura has a great giveaway going on in Facebook land. Just go to Laura's author page.

I'm trying to imagine a Stephen King amusement park ... Now that would not be for the faint of heart!

Thanks for encouraging the sharing, Lisa! Would love to see all of you on my author FB page, winning books and Readaholics T-shirts, as well as the 10.7 carat citrine I'm giving away on launch day, next Tuesday.

A Stephen King park . . . not for me. I don't even like Splash Mountain!

The Mitford Series was actually based on the town of Blowing Rock, NC. Many places in the books existed at the time she started writing, including some of the restaurants and the bookstore, and some of the people. Jan Karon was living in Blowing Rock when she started writing the series, but no publishers were interested, so the local weekly newspaper - The Blowing Rocket - published snippets of it weekly in serial fashion. It wasn't until the third or fourth book that she was offered a deal and wowie woo, what a deal! She moved from her house in Blowing Rock once people discovered where she lived because they would just walk right up and knock on her door. She now owns an 1817 estate in Virgina that she spent 4 years renovating. There used to be annual "Mitford Weekends" in Blowing Rock, but it's been discontinued.

I think amusement park hell would be only clowns and mimes. Nightmare! Ann Charles' Deadwood series could inspire a wonderfully creepy park. Lots and lots of haunts, weird creatures, and good looking men to combat them.

My amazing giveaway . . . for the 30 days leading up to the launch of The Reckoning Stones, I've been giving away books and "Hi, my name is __________ and I'm a Readaholic" t-shirts EVERY day (winners chosen randomly from the day's commenters)on my Laura DiSilverio Author Facebook page. Next Tuesday, I'm giving away the grand prize (chose at random from among the month's commenters) of a 10.7 carat emerald cut citrine. We're having lots of fun learning about gemstones on my page--stop on by.

Speaking of Mordor, Deb, I heard a joke I like a lot. My daughter at the Univ of Ala passed it along. "It's so hot in Alabama [fill in the location of your choice] that two Hobbits just threw a ring into my backyard." Roll Tide.

Thanks for having me today, Reds. I had a blast, as always, hanging out with the funnest, most creative, most generous bunch of readers and writers in the blogosphere.

A suggestion for a future blog...if you haven't already done it and I missed it....So many authors preface every chapter with a quote, poem, or something similar, how long does it take to find the appropriate one? Seems like it would be quite time consuming.....

Coming in very late today, but I need my Jungle Reds fix, so better late than never for me. Happy Paperback Publication Day, Hank! I know those people who wait for the paperbacks of books will gobble up Truth Be Told. They are in for such a treat!

Laura, your list of amusement parks that wouldn't work are hilarious. I agree with Joan that I still think Disney is magical, especially for the grands. I'm definitely on board with Grandma Cootie for an Outlander Park and with Mark for Narnia. Deb Roman, I love the idea of a Twilight Zone Park, too. How about a Goosebumps Park for the younger crowd?

The Readaholics is a series that I want to get started on soon, Laura, and I will. Your new stand-alone sounds fascinating, too.

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