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When Did ‘Let Me Know If You Need Anything’ Become Offensive?

I recently read a comment on a blog post that reminded me of one of my pet peeves… The person basically said that she hates when people ask her to let them know how they can help. “Sure!,” she wrote, “Now I need someone to help me answer all those people who want to know how they can help.”

I see these types of comments a lot: in articles, blogs, even on Facebook. It’s a common annoyance that many people express. “Please don’t ask me how you can help,” it usually begins. “Don’t tell me to let you know if I need anything. Tell me how you’re going to help.”

Am I the only person left who actually appreciates when people show concern about me, even if it’s not within a certain “box” of what society currently deems acceptable?

The assumption is that when people say, “Tell me how I can help” or “Let me know if you need anything,” they’re just being lazy and aren’t really interested in helping. But honestly, I think that’s a false assumption. Usually, when people make these statements, it’s because they can’t read your mind. It’s because they genuinely do want to help, but they don’t know how because they’ve never been in your situation. Or maybe they’re shy or don’t want to suggest something that might offend you… (Not knowing that the suggestion itself is apparently offensive.)

When someone says a variation of that suggestion to me, I appreciate it. I’m thankful for it. And if they can help me in some way, I’ll let them know. You know why? Because this world is full of people who really don’t care. But it’s also full of wonderful, loving people who do. So when someone expresses that they care, no matter how they express it, I appreciate it. 🙂

I’m thinking of writing an ebook at some point with ideas for tangible things people can do to help others in specific situations. Things they can suggest to help, because sometimes it’s hard to figure out if you’ve never been in that person’s situation. If you’re interested in knowing when I start the project, just sign up to follow the blog by email on the right or below.

What do you think when people tell you, “Please let me know how I can help you”? Do you take it as offensive or do you appreciate the sentiment?

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is a news, entertainment & science/tech contributor to Heavy. She's an attorney in Texas (currently not practicing) and spearheaded Heavy's coverage of the presidential race in 2016. She also leads Heavy's coverage of major TV shows like Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead. In her spare time, Stephanie runs a post-apocalyptic blog and writes screenplays and novels, once winning fifth in the nation for a sci-fi script. You can follow her on Facebook here, Twitter, Minds, Steemit, or contact her by email here.

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About Me

I debated on many blog titles before simply settling on "A Blog by Dube." My last name is now Dwilson, but my family and friends often refer to me by my maiden name, "Dube."

I'm a writer, publicist, and an attorney. But you won't find any legal advice here. Right now, my passions include physics, scifi, politics, Christian ministry, & cats. I'm happily married and loving life. I hope you like my blog! :)