4.20.13

View of Angkor Wat from sunset.

It's pretty tough to show up at Angkor Wat and not have the feeling of being on some elaborately detailed Hollywood movie set. Much the same way the Grand Canyon looks like something that's too unreal to be...well, real, Angkor Wat and all of the surrounding temples are epic on a scale that pretty much defies description and belief, attaining a level of almost absolute absurdity in its ability to induce constant awe. Maybe the best way to describe it would be to simply call it surreal, because the entire time I was there I couldn't help but think, "Oh, this is real life? I'm actually standing on the steps of the largest religious monument in existence, one of the wonders of the world, almost 1,000 years old? Welp...ok then." The good news is that it's easy to be slapped back to reality when an 8-year-old Cambodian boy walks up to you and introduces himself as Justin Bieber and asks if you'd like him to be your guide on the history of the temple. I was able to see sunset from the vantage of one of the highest monuments in the entire collection of temples in Siem Reap and, though it was cloudy, it was still a pretty magnificent sight and experience.

4.21.13

Angkor Wat, across the lake, sunrise.

The next morning, I awoke a few hours before dawn to make it to sunrise at Angkor Wat. One more night in a never-ending cycle of sleep deprivation be damned, it was worth it. To be surrounded by a few hundred tourists all hushed by the shared profound silence as together you watch the first tips of golden sunrays kiss the top of Angkor Wat in the same way it has done day after day for hundreds upon hundreds of years is one of the most transcendent experiences I've had in quite some time. For the next 12 hours straight, temple after temple greeted me with perpetual wonder. The stairs that adorn each temple are really, really tall and steep. Really. Basically, imagine a ladder made out of stone, with each step about three feet apart and there you have it. Were these people siblings or Robert Wadlow, or did they just have a great sense of humor and enjoy playing jokes on future temple visitors? The heat was something pretty incredible, too. I've spent a lot of time in Las Vegas, Phoenix, Florida, and Sub-Saharan Africa, but this heat is a lot different than any of those. It's not just that it's simply humid (though it is) or pushing the mercury to its limit (that, too), it's the combination of both that really tests you. With the heat index pushing 120, and the stone absorbing and reflecting every last degree to the feet and face, it was all I could do to drink over a gallon and a half of water during the day and not get the urge to pee for a good 8 hours. Even though sweating through everything on your body and having the feeling of being placed in a convection oven isn't the most ideal of experiences, scrambling up crumbling staircases to yet another gorgeous historical vantage point is one of those opportunities that doesn't really come about too often; it's a worthy trade-off, and small price to pay to spend a day gallivanting around one of the most beautiful manmade areas on Earth. Of course, with a consistent stream of tourists comes an influx of souvenir shops, restaurants, and vendors keen on selling you everything from postcards to paintings, elephant rides to guide books. While it would be silly to blame someone for capitalizing on a captive audience or gearing an establishment to Western sensibilities in the name of profit, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit disheartening to see "Lady Gaga Restaurant" and "Justin Bieber Cafe" at the entrance of Angkor Wat.

The top of one of the many temples of Siem Reap.

Sunshine on one of the temples.

Trees growing out of the "Tomb Raider" temple.

4.22.13

Downtown Phnom Penh.

Here's something that everyone should experience at least once before they die: watching Commando, the classic 80's Schwarzenegger action flick, dubbed in Khmer, on a bus in Cambodia. Amazing. After a great weekend in Siem Reap, I hopped on the 6 hour bus ride back to Phnom Penh to begin my placement work at the orphanage. Since I missed orientation, I wasn't able to go on a tour of the city or meet the other new volunteers, but that's really not too big of a deal. I did, however, make it in time for the new volunteer barbecue on the roof, which also happened to be my first real taste of Khmer food. Which also happened to be delicious. My room at the home stay, in keeping with the theme of the last home stay and every hostel on the journey so far, is on the very last, tiptop floor. I don't mind the climb, but I'm not a huge fan of heat rising and sweating buckets at night time. I took a 20 minute power nap, and when I awoke, the sweat on the sheets made it look like I had a little oopsy (but, I did down all those liters of water the day before...). The accommodations are modest, but clean and (unavoidable heat aside) comfortable. The set up is very similar to the last volunteer house in Vietnam, and there are about 25 volunteers here right now. Should be a good time.Also, though Phnom Penh is a good sized city, it seems pretty rural compared to Ho Chi Minh City. While I loved HCMC, this is a nice little break from the 476,563 motorbikes that seemed hell-bent on my demise.

4.23.13

Placement #4 - Missionary So it looks like I'll be volunteering at a missionary orphanage for children ages five and under, at least for the first week of placement. The caretakers here are nuns in the tradition of Mother Teresa (her image adorns practically every wall in the facility). One big difference between the placement here and Ky Quang is that they are very strict on their rules of filming or taking pictures of the staff or children. The reason, according to the head nurse, is that they don't want people to post pictures of the children online under the guise of a tool to raise money for the orphanage. Apparently a few people have done this in the past, but ended up pocketing the money for themselves rather than donate it to the orphanage. I don't know who would have the audacity to do something so incredibly selfish and foolish, but no doubt it has happened, and probably with some relative frequency. And while the last thing I would ever want to do is exploit the children in any way, their rules are their own and I will follow them unless I get permission to the contrary. Still, it puts a bit of a damper on a large part of The Volunteer Adventure, which is to make a documentary about the children and their caretakers. I'll figure something out...Meanwhile, the children here are incredible as always. While they were a little skeptical and shy at first, they seemed to warm up to me a little bit before I left. It's clear they are well taken care of and fed as far as orphanages go, and there is a staff of about 5 nuns taking care of 14 children, in addition to the 5 volunteers that are here. It's tough to say now, but I get the feeling there may not be much need for my energy or efforts here moving forward, though I will contribute as much as I can. To be clear, it's certainly not a bad thing if there isn't much use for me at a particular orphanage - it'd be a sign that the children are well tended to if there's not much need for outside volunteers. But, if there's some place else that might be able to benefit from some added energy and time, it might be more useful for me to go there. I'll be keeping my eye out this week, but in the meantime I'll enjoy my time with these wonderful kids.

4.24.13

With absolute certainty, I can say today is the first day I have ever been diarrhead on in my life! It's quite a sensation to be feeding a toddler in your lap, and then notice that your leg is a bit warmer than the other, then a bit more damp, then a bit more brown - and that was after the barrier of the diaper and shorts. I can also say in full confidence that it is impossible to have one shred of anger toward the pooping toddler in question when, after he takes said dump, he looks up at you and laughs and gives you a hug around the neck and then runs around ecstatically and joyously with what looks to be something the same color and size as a football in his pants. I'm also confused as to what kind of pixie dust babies and toddlers have that allows them to simultaneously smell like poop and potpourri, an encapsulation of both ends of the olfactory spectrum.Today was also my first day helping to shower toddlers en masse. Since I don't have any children, I didn't really know what I was in for, but to my parents and all of you moms and dads out there I'm sure you can relate: attempting to dry off a soaking wet 4 year-old bent on sprinting around and replicating a golden retriever's attempts to get dry is surprisingly difficult work on par with the scene in Rocky where his trainer teaches him a lesson in agility by trying to catch a chicken. Then, when one of the children decides that since his diaper is off it would be a good time to leave a turd on the floor riiight next to the bathroom, that only adds one more kink in the plan. And so, it all comes back full circle to the start of the day. Poop.

4.25.13

Having heard stories about the pervasiveness of sex trafficking in Southeast Asia, including prostitution and pedophilia, I knew at some point I would see aspects of it in one form or another (I did, briefly, in Vietnam). But being cognizant of the existence of something and being confronted with it in reality - even in an indirect and relatively slight way - are two completely different experiences entirely. Tonight, I went with a large group of volunteers to an open-air beer garden of sorts in downtown Phnom Penh, which is right near the more Westernized, "backpacker" part of town. I'm not much a beer guy, but an ice cold beverage for $1/pitcher? I'm in. It didn't take much more than a few minutes to recognize the repetition of this sight: disheveled middle-aged to older white men with - at most - a 20-year-old Cambodian woman (or two), dressed to the nines in high heels, shorts, a low cut blouse, loaded with makeup and jewelry. It didn't take much longer after that for me to be propositioned consistently, harkening back to just a couple weeks ago while staying in District 1 of Ho Chi Minh City. Upon stepping outside, it was clear this was pretty much the gauntlet of 'massage' parlors and prostitution. It's not that this is something completely foreign to me. It's just that being able to see the signs of it makes me more aware of it. Being more aware of it means I see it more often.

4.26.13

Watching the world from the Missionary.

Over the course of the week, it became increasingly clear that the children at the mission where I have been volunteering are in great hands and well taken care of and - my simply spending time with them holding them or playing legos aside, and I do think being present is a very good and powerful thing - I may be able to make more of a contribution elsewhere. So, I requested a transfer of placement to an orphanage right around the corner (rather than a 30 minute TukTuk - more on them later - ride away) called CWC, where I'll be starting Monday. I have mixed emotions about this. The kids at the mission are such downright beautiful human beings that it's so hard to say goodbye after just one week. But, the longer I stay, the more a bond would form and it would be even more difficult. TukTuks: Cambodia’s form of taxi. A two wheeled, covered carriage attached to a motorcycle. Fun to ride, and incredibly cheap.So, for today, I just focused on being as present as possible and enjoying each moment with the kids. There was also a new addition to the orphanage: a child who was abandoned by his mom last night, and is bound to a wheelchair. He reminds me so much of Truong, one of the children with whom I worked closely at Ky Quang in Vietnam. Seeing him smile at the sight of my making a fool out of myself was absolutely worth it. Also, I got clearance to take a couple pictures of the kids, so I wanted to share some with you:

Playtime at the Missionary.

Watching traffic.

One of the awesome kids at the Missionary.

4.27 - 4.28.13

This weekend was pretty fun. I went to a couple places around Phnom Penh that were on the list for sightseeing activities: Wat Phnom, The Royal Palace, and Friends.Wat Phnom is the highest place in town, at a dizzying height of 27 meters. It was supposedly founded as the original center of the city in 1373, as a home to four legendary statues of the Buddha that were carried here down the Mekong River. There were also the customary merchants selling everything from Coke to coconuts to canaries that visitors pay to see 'liberated from their cage.' Jokes on them: the birds are trained to fly back to the cage. The Royal Palace is the home of the king, so I thought it prudent to stop by an introduce myself, and see if he wanted to hang out and eat Doritos and drink Mountain Dew and play N64. He wasn't home, so I wandered around and looked at beautiful buildings. Half of the grounds were closed off to visitors, for reasons I don't know, but the half that I did see were quite beautifully detailed. After the temples in Siem Reap, though, this was a little bit of a letdown by comparison. Still impressive, and had I seen this prior to my trip up north, I'm sure I would've been substantially more wowed.

The river in the road after the rain.

Friends is a restaurant in Phnom Penh, right near the Royal Palace. It is partnered with Friends-International, a top-rated NGO whose mission is to help at-risk/marginalized children (homeless kids, kids with HIV, orphans, children addicted to drugs, etc.) and their families build a brighter future. They do this by providing assistance with relocation, help with education, and job training. One of the programs is the Friends restaurant itself. Here, all of the workers - the cooks, the waiters/waitresses - are or were at-risk children. They run the restaurant, and their teachers are former students of the restaurant. They receive a steady job and the profits from the meals are donated to furthering the various missions of Friends-International. An awesome program, and on top of that the food was delicious. I had a citrus-mint smoothie, a fresh lime soda, and Khmer chicken curry, all of which were top-notch. Also, never-ending ice water was itself such a luxury that I doubt I'll take for granted again. I highly recommend this place to anyone who visits.While we were dining at Friends, it rained. And when I say it 'rained', I mean it flooded. It took only an hour for the street in front of the restaurant to be a stream of water six inches deep, which had the current of a river each time a car drove by. Wading through a soupy mixture of rainwater and everything that was on the street during the day - garbage, coconuts, dead animals, etc. - was unexpected, but necessary to get a TukTuk back home.

4.29.13

Placement #5 - CWC Walking five minutes from the volunteer house rather than taking a 30 minute TukTuk ride each way to work is a luxury given the heat here, and that's one of the welcome benefits of the new placement, CWC. I'm working with three other volunteers here, and there are 26 kids in the orphanage. However, half of them are at school in the morning, and half are at school in the afternoons, so really there are 13 children at a time. The 26 kids live together in a house with four stories (the stories are really, really small). There is a garage, which doubles as the living room on the first floor, with the kitchen. On the second floor are an office and a bedroom. The third floor has the library/makeshift classroom with laundry room and one other bedroom. The fourth floor has another bedroom and office. The roof is basically an open concrete slab with clothes lines. Near as I can tell, there is a staff of two: the mom that lives in the house with her toddler son (another on the way) is early 30's, and a woman who cooks, cleans, and lives here with two of her children, in her 40's. I'm sure this probably goes without saying now, but the kids are great. They're ages 5-18, and I look forward to learning what this placement has in store. Most of the day involved coloring, going over the ABC's, and playing a modified version of soccer in the street. It's a small volleyball that looks like it might be Wilson resurfaced off the shores of southern Cambodia after he fell out of Tom Hanks' boat and sailed the seas for the last ten years, finally resting on the shores of the Mekong; better days it has undoubtedly seen.

4.30.13

Lately, I've been questioning the value of my contributions to the orphanages at which I've been volunteering. I do believe in the value of being present and offering positive time and energy, in any capacity. I've just had the feeling of not knowing whether I've been of benefit for the kids or their caretakers, not knowing if my presence has been useful. Today, those feelings were amplified by a factor of ten.Last week, I emailed an NGO called "ChildSafe," which is partnered with Friends-International. Their mission is to be "a proactive child-protection network involving key members of society, protecting children from all forms of abuse and preventing child exploitation and trafficking." I emailed them to see if I could interview someone at ChildSafe (they have a branch in Phnom Penh) and informed them of the purpose of The Volunteer Adventure and the goal of the documentary. Here is my initial email:

Dear ChildSafe, My name is Alexander Hallett. I’m a filmmaker and documentarian from Washington State. I’m currently traveling the world for one year, volunteering in orphanages in ten different countries for one month each. The overriding purpose for my journey, though, is to make an honest documentary about the lives of the children and their caretakers in the orphanages. Allowing them to tell their story, unfiltered, to the world will educate the viewer with a truthful insight into the lives of the children, what it means to volunteer, how to tell the difference between legitimate and exploitative orphanages, and how to have the most meaningful and conscientious impact on the lives of the children. The goal of the documentary is to provide a medium for the children and their caretakers to tell their story to the world, and to inspire others to volunteer in a responsible way. I’m writing to see if it would be possible to interview anyone at Childsafe – volunteers, field workers, etc. - about their experiences at orphanages in Phnom Penh, the mission of Childsafe in regards to seeking out and finding justice for children in exploitative orphanages, and steps one can take to ensure they are volunteering in an orphanage that fosters positive growth for the children. This would be incredibly insightful and helpful in the documentary, and go a long way towards helping viewers understand the continued reality of exploitative orphanages and the risk of “voluntourism”, which many don’t realize exists. In doing so, you would directly help inspire responsible volunteering. If need be, I can omit names or black out faces of the workers interviewed for security reasons. I’m currently in Phnom Penh, and will be here until May 12th, when I fly up to Nepal. Please let me know at your earliest convenience if this is possible. It wouldn’t take more than an hour or two, and it’s just me - no film crew. Thank you for helping make a profoundly positive impact in the lives of so many children. Your organization comes highly regarded by everyone with whom I’ve spoken, and I hope that this is a possibility. Thank you for your time. Best, Alexander Hallett

And their reply:

Hi Bodi,Thanks for getting in touch.ChildSafe is powered by Friends International, an International NGO supporting children and their families to become productive citizens. One of the various programs we have is ‘alternative care’. In short, this program encourages that children be raised in their family environment, this can be aunts / uncles, grandparents, if this is not possible, within their community in kinship care, or national fostering.In Cambodia and many other regions of the world, children that are not orphans are separated from their families to live in an institution (orphanage). This is not the best place for a child to be raised (based on 60 years of research from UNICEF), the west discontinued the use of institutions / orphanages many years ago due to problems for the children in emotional development, physical development and high risks to abuse.The increase of tourist and volunteer visits to orphanages is increasing the number of orphanages to open, therefore increasing these risks to children. Due to this we do not support any visits to orphanages or promotions that encourage more people to visit orphanages. Please also understand that in many cases the orphanage director earns money from the donations that the children are used to generate (dancing, volunteers teaching children games, English etc). Due to this the child could be putting themselves at risk by telling you their ‘honest feelings’ about living in an orphanage.For these reason we do not support your project, but we would be very happy to meet with you a discuss these issues in more depth if you are interested? Friends has been working in Cambodia for 19 years and has watched the business of orphanages expand intensely so we can provide you lots of information why to avoid supporting this system and to encourage well-meaning travelers to support programs that help keep impoverished families together, not separating their children from them.Our office is central Phnom Penh, if you did have time we’d be happy to meet you.

Not sure what to make of this yet, but my self-defense alarms definitely started ringing, and my self-esteem and sense of purpose took a bit of a hit. It's a great opportunity for an interview, and I'm definitely going to go through with it and (do my best to) put any feelings of validation to the side. Just never easy to hear someone you respect or in a position of influence doesn't really believe in or support what you're doing, especially when the present state of mind isn't buoyed by the greatest amount of self-confidence.

5.1.13

Solo at CWC today, which meant I had more time to spend with all of the kids, which of course also meant they all wanted to play soccer and run around outside, which means all the water I diligently drank throughout the day would end up in my t-shirt. This seems to be a theme. It also meant I got to talk with the kids one on one a bit, and I learned a couple interesting things in the process. 1. Not all of the kids at CWC are orphans. Many have at least one living parent, who they still see back in their home province during holidays. 2. A lot of the kids come to live at CWC simply so they can live in Phnom Penh and receive a better education. In a lot of the provinces, there are no schools for kids above 16. In addition, there's a belief that the schools in Phnom Penh are of higher quality, and if they want to get into college, and then get a good job, they need to leave home as a child. 3. It costs $1,200/month to care for all 26 kids. That's all inclusive - rent, food, clothing, medicine, transportation. That's roughly $1.50 per child per day. So, technically, CWC isn't an orphanage in the truest sense of the word. Part of me can't help but feel a little...I'm not sure. Disillusioned? Worried that it might be an exploitative front for the woman who runs the orphanage to make money off the kids? I hope that's not the reality of the situation. In any case, it makes me feel a little knocked off kilter. On top of that, one of the main bullet points ChildSafe talked about in their email - the children not being orphans, but being separated from their families all the same - is present here.

5.2.13

The CWC kids dressed up for their performance.

My fears of the orphanage being exploitative just grew. Today, we went with the kids about an hour out of town to a place simply called "The Factory." The kids have been practicing a dance the last two days, but until now I didn't know what its purpose was. Every couple months, they go out to the factory and dance in front of a rather large crowd for money. This morning, they went in full classic Khmer attire, complete with props (fake swords, masks, and bow and arrow). This place is sort of in the middle of nowhere, in an industrial part of the outskirts of Phnom Penh. When we pulled up to the gates, it felt like we were waiting to get into Coachella (or Woodstock, depending on the generation). Hundreds of people in line, bass heavy music playing from inside, and thousands of people on the other side of the wall. At 8am. What? So we get through the gate and follow the kids to a completely separate part of the facility which has about twice as many people. There, the volunteers and I were directed to follow an usher of sorts to a boxed in area, which turned out to be the ultra exclusive, diamond level, VIP box section of the entire facility. Everyone else was standing room only, and here we are with fans on us, bottled water, pink silk seat cushions, and a pile of brand new rice cookers. The kids come out, and a guy in his early 20's sings a classic Khmer song which, near as I can tell, is the same 4 lines over and over for about 5 minutes. At the end of the performance, the kids walk around the inner circle of the group of people and extend a satchel on a stick for people to put money into. Among them, kids, teenagers, businessmen and businesswomen. At the end, a Chinese businessman who was sitting with us in the VIP section deposits a bankrolled stack of Cambodian Riel into the satchel, to booming applause from the audience.

Dancing for money.

Money collection.

On our way out, one of the volunteers and I were given a Black Panther beer by a large group of twenty-ish guys, and we gave them a toast which resulted in uproarious cheering. (I didn't crack my beer at that time. 9am, even if I used the excuse that it was 9pm back home, is a bit early for me. I did crack it tonight, though, and it was like drinking mud. Delicious, hop and barley flavored mud.)A couple years ago, I did a 10 day Vipassana retreat. Vipassana is the term for insight meditation (no religion), and supposed to be the kind of meditation Siddhartha did to become the Buddha. It was silent 24x7, with 10 hours of meditation per day. I've never been so clearheaded and centered as I was on that retreat - both before and after - and I promised myself I'd make an effort to sit for at least an hour a day moving forward to continue in the practice. Flash forward two years and I'm lucky if I get in 15 minutes per day. I make excuses all the time in the midst of my watching episodes of Star Trek or Chopped, but the fact is I'm just lazy. But when I heard that one of the temples nearby had a free Vipassana sit at sunset, I was all in. The sit was one of the more challenging hours I've had in a while, but great because of that. And the view and surroundings were pretty transcendent. Afterwards, a group of us went to go get Indian food at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant near downtown, and it was the best I've had in my life. Afterwards, we took in a little local entertainment in the form of a little movie called "Iron Man 3". This is my first time watching a movie on this trip, and I've gotta say: it's a pretty sweet gig. Aside from only costing $5 to see the moving in 3D on opening day, there was air conditioning to boot and people watching aplenty. That makes for a good experience all around.

5.3.13

Today, two of the volunteers - Rachel and Tanya from Australia - had their last day. They wanted to have a party with the kids, so they went to the mall and local supermarket and picked up a few cakes and drinks and toys. Really nice of them to do. Tanya also brought her laptop so the kids could watch a movie. Their choice: Top Gun. A+. Though I will say I don't recall the silhouette make out scene with Tom Cruise and the flight instructor being so surprisingly and unnervingly graphic for a PG make out scene. Tom Cruise's tongue darts out of his mouth like a gecko chasing after the last mayfly on Earth, and it's gross. Also, kind of awkward to watch with the kids. All in all, a fun way to end the week of work.

5.4.13

During the reign of terror of the Khmer Rouge in the late 70's, there were over two million children, women, and men slaughtered at hundreds of killing fields across the country. One of the most notorious killing fields was Choeung Ek, located a stone's throw outside of Phnom Penh's city limits. Today, Choeung Ek is a memorial site. Thousands of people visit it every year, and today I was one of them. I didn't know what to expect.One of the most unsettling things about Choeung Ek, among countless others, is the fact that I could see the buildings of Phnom Penh from its grounds, and there is a thriving village around it. Without the history of what happened here about 30 years ago, it would feel just like a farm pasture or city park, tranquil and serene. After thinking about how to approach it for quite a while, I've decided I don't really want to write a lot about Choeung Ek. This is partly due to the fact that I'm still wrapping my head around it, but mainly because the limitation of language (at least my written word) and any attempt to describe what it's like here would pale in comparison to what it is to experience it. Just know that, if you ever pass through Cambodia, you need to go. I'll leave it at that.

Central Market, Phnom Penh.

Another day off today, and that meant two things: Central Market and Cambodian Kickboxing. The market is pretty cool, literally and figuratively. The architecture of it is a dome, which provides natural air conditioning to the whole facility, plus it looks really cool. Compared to Binh Tanh in Ho Chi Minh, this was really low stress. I walked out of there with a fake G-Shock watch and a Batman t-shirt for only a couple dollars. Mission accomplished.Then, I went to a kickboxing match, which was televised. There were mini jumbotrons and thousands of people there and, almost certainly because I'm a tourist, I was invited to sit ringside in a VIP section for free. (I also sat behind the guy who must have been Flash Gordon's stunt double. Legendary hair.) The matches are like nothing back home, and I don't know where to begin in describing them. For starters, the boxers enter to classical Khmer music, played live by what appeared to be a high school band. And when I say the boxers enter, I mean they dance to the music as they enter the ring, while they're in the ring before the match, and for part of the first round while they size up one another. It's like a synchronized ballet between two scantily clad, muscle bound guys that could drop me like a sack of wet meat in five seconds. There were five rounds per match, with no knockouts, but a lot of knockdowns, and even more hooting and hollering. This was a lot of fun, and for free dollars, even better.

Pre-fight dance.

Flash!

Spoiler Alert: Dude in blue is about to get rocked.

5.6.13

Nan is the name of the woman at CWC who takes care of cooking and cleaning the house. Aside from being one of the most humble and polite individuals I've met on my journey so far, I learned today that she has been through innumerable hardships in her life, and triumphed over countless pitfalls that would have seen me give up time and again if I were in her shoes. The specifics of her story I won't get into here, because her story is her own. When I work on piecing the Volunteer Adventure book together, I'm going to ask her if she would like to submit a written account of her life to include in the book, so she can tell the story in her own words. It was inspiring to hear what brought her and two of her children to CWC.

5.7.13

Today was the day for the interview at ChildSafe, and it was a really, really good experience for many reasons, the least of which was that my feelings of a loss of purpose for embarking on this adventure were assuaged when we were able to discuss the scope of the documentary and trip in person, their support after learning more of the details a welcome reassurance in light of the original exchange of emails. ChildSafe is an impressive NGO. Aside from providing work for street kids and impoverished parents (examples: the affiliated Friends restaurant, or the textile factory at their headquarters where an honest wage is paid for work that benefits all impacted by the organization), helping to rescue children who are victims of child sex trafficking, and find and close down exploitative orphanages, their presence in Phnom Penh and beyond inspires the greater community to better care for all children. They inspire by example.The interview was with a man named James Sutherland, a Scot who moved to Cambodia with his wife some years back and has worked at ChildSafe for 8 years. The interview lasted about 45 minutes, and there's a lot to dissect, so here are some key takeaways that I felt would be good to share.

In almost all cases, they support a foster system for raising children. Whether it's through relatives or community members, they believe the children should be raised as close to family as possible.

They don't encourage volunteer tourism, especially foreigners volunteering in Cambodian orphanages. Their reason is because well-intentioned volunteers coming to Cambodia, passing through orphanages and making donations of money and goods, creates a demand for more and more orphanages to open (the amount of orphanages in Phnom Penh has almost doubled in the last 5 years - the amount of orphans has not). When more orphanages open, there is a greater chance for more to be exploitative and for children who are there to not really be orphans.

James encouraged people who want to make a difference to simply help the local economy by visiting as a tourist, going to places like ChildSafe, Friends, and supporting local businesses.

5.8.13

The orphanage, outside, for sale.

At the orphanage today, I noticed a For Sale sign on the outside of the house. Interesting. I don't know if this means there's an imminent sale, and I wasn't really able to get a straight answer out of the house mom. Regardless, I can't help but wonder what this means for the kids. Some of them come to CWC from the neighborhood nearby in the afternoon as a form of daycare. Moving out would almost undeniably mean these kids wouldn't be able to go here anymore. As far as the future of the orphanage as a whole, I've no idea.

5.9.13

A professor from Humboldt University came to the orphanage today, handed the house mom $500 (in $100 bills, which she put in her purse), signed a receipt book, chatted for a couple minutes, and left. He earmarked the funds to be allocated for food for the kids. As tomorrow's my last day, I have pretty much no way to tell how much of that money will go to the kids, and how much will go to the mom of the house. I did have a chance to take a look at the receipt book, though. In it, there was a history of donations ranging from $100 up to $800, with no real discernible pattern for the dates or amounts. This isn't to presuppose the money donated doesn't go to the kids, or that there's corruption afoot, it was just interesting to see the history of donations that comes in.

5.10.13

Today was my birthday, and also my last day volunteering in Cambodia. I've never been one to broadcast my birthday (not in a self-negating type of way, rather it’s just never been my style), but facebook being what it is word got out to my roommate and a few of the volunteers. It was pretty great to be surprised with a birthday cake (thanks Rochelle!) in Cambodia. My housemates were kind enough to sing happy birthday as the cake was revealed, but then candles were discovered in the box after the song had already been done. Can't blame them for take two being a bit half-hearted.

All the kids at CWC

Saying bye to the kids is something that I've started to get used to, but I don't think it will ever be easy. Even though I didn't feel like I was able to lend a hand in a very concrete way at CWC, it's simply not possible to not grow attached to seeing their smiling faces every day. But, with the reality of the impermanence of volunteering being what it is, another volunteer will come along and take my place next week, I'll become a memory for some and forgotten to others, and everything will continue on as it was before I arrived. And so it goes.

5.11.13

Some of the children killed at S-21.

In the heart of Phnom Penh, there's a place named Tuol Sleng, or S-21. It used to be a school in the middle of the city set against a rather peaceful place of town. During the reign of the Khmer Rouge, the school was converted into a prison where thousands of children, women, and men were tortured, beaten, killed, or shipped off to one of the killing fields. Now, it's a museum. Going there is something that no amount of reading or documentary watching will help with because, much like Choueng Ek, almost everything is intact and left the way it was 30 years ago. There are still shackles on the ground. The crude brick cells, quickly cobbled together to keep as many innocent inmates inside the walls as possible, are undamaged. Pictures of inmates who were dead in the cells when the Vietnamese arrived to free the political prisoners line the cell walls. Handwritten notes from people forced to confess to being part of the CIA or KGB (including some Americans, Australians, and Europeans) are kept in their original condition in one of the wings of S-21. Only a handful of people ever survived the horrors here. While visiting certainly isn't an enjoyable experience, I encourage anyone who visits Phnom Penh to go.

I met up with two of my volunteer friends I met in Vietnam today, and they were only in town for the night and wanted to go to the night market. I figured I'd bring my camera along and get some footage of street kids for the documentary to add as B-roll. I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

While I was filming, I noticed a tall, older, Caucasian man staring at the children with a 3-4 year-old Cambodian boy clutched to his leg. Two well-dressed men walked up to him, shook his hand, and he picked up the boy and walked towards the exit of the market. It's clear that the boy was sold as a sex-slave for the night to the man. I had to do something, or at least try, to stop it. I stopped filming and followed him to the exit, where he was holding the boy in his arms, nervously looking around for a TukTuk. I approached him.

I met up with two of my volunteer friends I met in Vietnam today, and they were only in town for the night and wanted to go to the night market. I figured I'd bring my camera along and get some footage of street kids for the documentary to add as B-roll. I wasn't prepared for what happened next.While I was filming, I noticed a tall, older, Caucasian man staring at the children with a 3-4 year-old Cambodian boy clutched to his leg. Two well-dressed men walked up to him, shook his hand, and he picked up the boy and walked towards the exit of the market. It's clear that the boy was sold as a sex-slave for the night to the man. I had to do something, or at least try, to stop it. I stopped filming and followed him to the exit, where he was holding the boy in his arms, nervously looking around for a TukTuk. I approached him.

Me: "Hello. How's it going?" Guy: "Fine, fine." Me: "May I ask what you're doing?" Guy: "What do you mean?" Me: "Where are you going with the child?" Guy: "I'm his old man, stupid." Me: "...you're his old man. How do you mean?" Guy: "Yeah. Where you from?" Me: "America." Guy: "America? Bullshit. You're bullshitting me." Me: "Excuse me?" Guy: "If you were really from America you'd know old man meant dad, stupid." Me: "I know what it means. You're not his dad." Guy: "Yeah, look at his hair, look at his skin, he's not Cambodian." Me: "Yes, he is. I work in a Cambodian orphanage. He's Cambodian." Guy: ... Me: "Where's his mom?" Guy: "Haha, OK, whatever."

Then he started walking back into the market, so I tried looking for a police officer. I asked TukTuk and motorcycle drivers, one after another, for help. I tried to explain, to no avail, that that guy was taking that boy to molest or have sex with him. Then, the guy came back out of the market, only this time the boy was being held by a very young woman who appeared to be a prostitute, flanked by a younger Cambodian man and those two well-dressed Cambodian man from earlier. I watched, unable to do anything at the risk of my own life. The white guy approached me, and got right in my face.

Him: "You know, I run a non-profit that gives a minimum wage of $2/hour." Me: "Ok?" Him: "If there was a fair working wage everywhere, it'd prevent modern day slavery and the trafficking of people." Me: "Cool." Him: "Look into it." Me: "Uh huh."

Then, he got into a TukTuk with the boy, and the people he came out with, and drove off.I'm sick to my stomach. I wasn't able to do anything. I watched a boy get sold into sex slavery and I wasn't able to do a thing about it. Even though I know if I would've pushed the issue I might not be here to write the sentences, I feel like I let him down and I didn't do enough. I'm going to remember this, and that boy's face, until I die.

5.12.13

The power was out all night. When that happens at home, it's not that big of an issue (unless it's the dead of winter). Here, it means waking up dripping sweat and not being able to fall back asleep. I went downstairs and lied on the linoleum, where mosquitoes had a field day throughout my hour of spotty sleep. Not the ideal way to segue way into the last day in Cambodia, but to be honest, after last night, I'm not much in the mood for anything.

5.13.13

In addition to saying bye to the kids, it's also tough to do the same with the host family and fellow volunteers, many of whom every waking moment for the course of a month is shared. It's pretty remarkable how simultaneously close and distant you can grow and remain through the shared experience. It's a delicate dance: trying to remain from being too self-revealing, but also wanting to open up and listen, set against the backdrop of the knowledge that the odds are you probably won't see one another again, despite efforts to stay in touch. That's not to say it won't happen. I plan to with a select few for quite some time. It's just the reality.My friends in Cambodia, you will be missed.And with that, I went to the airport to start the journey to Nepal. A 2 hour flight to Kuala Lumpur, a 13 hour, overnight layover, and a 5 hour flight to Kathmandu. Adventure continues. Thank you for joining me on the journey.