“And please do not think that I am suffering. I am not suffering. I am struggling. Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to who I was once.” ~ Julianne Moore (Still Alice, 2014 Movie)

When I was younger, I used to go with my friends to get my nails done. We would get manicures and sometimes pedicures too. I was vibrant, healthy and living a whimsical life.

Over the last couple of years, I haven’t been as observant with my nails as in the past. As a matter of fact, lately they have been growing in all sorts of directions. I knew things were out of hand when my husband pointed it out to me. I mean, how often does a man notice your fingernails? So at his suggestion, I went for a much needed manicure. I haven’t had one in a long while. There’s so much I have to deal with on a daily bases that the appearance of my nails isn’t very high on my to-do list.

So one sunny afternoon, we went to a local nail salon. Once inside, the nail technician escorted my husband, who was pushing me in my wheelchair, and myself to a table. The two of them helped transfer me to a normal chair. Yes, a normal chair! Then they safely stored my wheelchair in the back of the shop.

While sitting at the counter, trying to pick out a nail polish color, I kept getting distracted by my wheelchair in the corner. I was so excited I nearly started screaming out of joy because I was just like everyone else. Everyone who walked in only saw a lady getting her nails done. They didn’t see me in a wheelchair. I didn’t have to explain what MS is. No one felt sorry for me. No awkward glances from adults. No blatant stares from children. Nope! I was just another girl getting a manicure. And I loved it!

I’ve lost so much to this disease. Sometimes hanging on to the simplest things can make me happy.

Girlfriend Nicole!
I’m seriously impressed that you GOT OUT of your wheelchair at all! U rock and roll.
Feeling like a normal is pretty darn great hun!
I have ALWAYS been in my WC every time we venture out for any reason big or small.
The looks etc I just make a bar fight joke if people make me excessively uncomfortable.

Nails are only a big deal with regards to my mom lol.
You are always beautiful and sucg a great spirit. This blog is essential reading at my house and we walk away feeling connected to you, the illness and then just living together as a team. I am a better partner thxto yOi.
Xo SarahD

Your post hit a homer with me. I understand the feeling of appearing normal! I used to get a mani/pedi every other week. Now, my nails are a mess! I know my husband would help me as yours did, so I’m thinking that maybe I’ll give it a try. Would you be able to get a pedicure from your wheelchair?

Nicole, thank you so much for expressing that. I can totally relate.. When I’m sitting at a table with others, I feel so normal. There is no clue of any impairment until I get up to walk with my cane(very soon will be a rollator). I can feel them wanting to stare and not be so obvious.. I keep a pleasant, nonchalant look on my face. But deep down I am hurting and so tired.
I am glad you were able to get out and pamper yourself. You deserve it. And thank you again.
Take good care!

Wow, how lucky to get your nails done! My daughter was sweet enough to go around to every salon in town and ask if they could do my nails in a wheelchair. They all said no. Same goes for hair. And I have a husband who wouldn’t in a million years take me to a salon and help me transfer to a chair. He won’t even help me get to a doctor”s appointment. I haven’t been to a doctor in years.