The wall must be "really bigly," obviously. This is America. We go bigly or go home.

"Funky Fresh" sounds like a reasonable requirement.

Throughout his campaign, Trump promised Mexico would pay for the wall.

Just to be clear: This is not happening. American taxpayers will foot the bill -- and the wall could cost up to $21 billion.

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The list of requirements for the wall and the subsequent responses (as funny as they are) are emblematic of how pointless this entire endeavor is.

Long story short: A border wall will not solve America's immigration problems, but it will cost American taxpayers a significant amount of money, which could be allocated to a far more effective and benevolent initiative.