Politician promises to distribute 50% of his bribes to the voters if he is elected

New Delhi: While major political parties are busy selling big dreams to the voters, one independent candidate from Uttar Pradesh has decided to make some innovative promises to the voters in his constituency.

Mr. Rishwat Singh has promised that will keep only half of every bribe he receives as an MP, and the balance will be distributed equally among the people living in his constituency.

Speaking to Faking News, Mr. Singh said, “I don’t believe in making false promises that can’t be achieved. I keep very realistic, tangible goals and believe in meeting those goals. That is why I have promised these people that from every bribe, 50% will be given directly to them in cash. Every bribe taken by me will be announced publicly and people will know what amount they can expect. There are many industries and big businesses in our area and I will collect money from all of them and then distribute it to everyone here, Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas.”

When we mentioned that the amount per person will become very low after equal division, he said, “Amount generated depends upon my hard work and I assure my voters that I will take a bribe every day, even on Sundays. No off for me, I will be fully committed to my work and will keep generating money for these people. In fact, I am so confident in my corruption that I know I will end up giving more than the 72,000 Rs that some national party is promising.”

In other election news, several members of the opposition’s mahagathbandhan were seen heading to Srinagar after hearing that Omar Abdullah wants a PM there as well.