If you have a loved one with cancer or if you are having a love affair with cancer join me here. This is an uplifting, alluring and realistic saga of Love in the Time of cancer. I am also writing this because as Mark Twain said, “I don’t want to hear about the moon from a man who has not been there.” Loving a man with cancer is my moon. Take the next step with me.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

I heard a great piece of
relationship advice recently. This bit of wisdom really got my attention and gave me a
way to assess whether I am being reasonable

or unreasonable when I get into that
“wanting him to change” mood.

It goes like this: "You can
ask a partner for a behavior change but not a
personality change." You can ask for behaviors you want from your partner but You can’t ask them to be different on the inside or to develop the characteristics that will
cause them to think like you do.

For example, you can ask your partner take a turn doing the laundry or ask him to clean the bathroom on
Saturdays—those are behaviors—but you can’t ask him to notice when the bathroom
is dirty or when the kids need clean socks—those are aspects of personality.
You can ask him to buy and mail his sisters birthday gift (But please, don’t judge
what he chooses--don’t sabotage yourself.) But you can’t ask him, “Why don’t
you remember your family’s birthdays?” That is personality.

Similarly, you can say,
“I’d like you to give me one compliment each day.” –that’s a behavior. But it’s
not fair to say, “Why don’t you appreciate me?”—That’s personality. And probably the start
of a fightJ.

That’s pretty much like
saying, “Why don’t you become me?” And really, would I ever want to be married
to me? I don’t think so.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless; Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is, But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity, Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards, Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point, There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.