Well shit is really really fucking weird right now, huh? No one knows anything about what the next several months will be like, but that doesn’t mean Ross and Patrick can’t answer some questions for you. They’ve got solicited advice for the folks who wrote in. They hope this episode will keep you entertained and maybe even a little informed while you pull yourself away from the news long enough to cry on the toilet.

Have you heard the news? Pod people are getting engaged without actually meeting face to face! They are potentially mating and procreating while in the pods with the assistance of new technology that involves a blue tooth speaker, a ukulele, and goblets of wine. The apocalypse is a upon us and we must act fast. Just kidding! Love Is Blind is a new dating show on Netflix and Ross and Patrick are obsessed. The show is probably contributing to the downfall of society but who cares?! Listen to Ross and Patrick spoil the entire show by unpacking and ridiculing everything about it.

Well they’re back from the tropics and they’re depressed. However, it felt like Christmas morning on Sunday in Brooklyn because after a week apart, they finally reunited with PEGGY! So all is not lost – least not in the Holbertineau house – but the nation is a full blown nightmare. While on their magical vacation in Puerto Rico, Ross and Patrick still kept tabs on the White House of Horrors and the democratic shim sham, and most importantly The Bachelor. Tune in to hear all about the food, the beach, the relaxation, and the tv watching. They missed you!

This week Ross and Patrick are back to bouncing around from topic to topic. They know you missed that. While they prepare to be parents, they’re willing to dish out all the unsolicited relationship advice you didn’t ask for. Ross is reading about how to be a French parent, while Patrick wants to be the next bachelor. Come along for the bumpy ride all to the tune of the Backstreet Boys. It makes sense if you listen so just do it.

Luxe is a sex positive, body positive, burlesque performing witch who also happens to run a creative arts program for children. She is a radical lady who’s ready to dish all things taboo. This self-described heathen also happens to be Ross and Patrick’s friend, neighbor, and dear aunt to Peggy. She does it all! Let the sex magic commence!

It’s been two weeks since you’ve heard from Ross and Patrick and they’ve missed you terribly. Don’t worry- everything is ok. They just went on vacation aaaaaannnnndddd got some major life news. So they put a pin in it and now they’re back to overshare and answer all the questions you never asked.

Ross, Patrick, and Peggy went upstate for a family wedding and Patrick’s 20 year high school reunion. Everyone came away from the weekend feeling emotionally hungover from the bittersweet highs and the stress-induced lows. Ross and Patrick balanced having a good time with their respective brands of generalized anxiety while Peggy exhausted herself from love, attention, and gnawing through her crate cover. What they thought would be a fun recap of the weekend turned into a much deeper conversation about love, partnership, and showing up for each other. Don’t you want to hear Ross and Patrick process their feelings more? We knew it!

Did you miss Ross and Patrick last week? They felt terrible that they didn’t record an episode for you. (Just tell them you missed them. They’re very sensitive and crave validation). Have no fear, they’re back and they recorded while driving upstate because vehicular multitasking is worth it for their fans. It’s you all who keep this empire running. The fans and Jesus. Mostly Jesus actually (Is anyone else watching ‘The Family’ on Netflix??). Anyway on this episode, R and P talk camping, 12 step programs, cults, and up tight neighbors. Cool, right?