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Melt down town

My house has been melt down house. We've had a bit of a rough weekend with D, which ended last night in him bawling at the table after dinner (he ate a second dinner about an hour after we ate our first dinner...growth spurt!) and saying "I want to go hooooooome!" All because we said he couldn't go back to his friend's house, where he had been basically all afternoon and who he spent the entire day with Saturday. We are the meanest.

Once he got cooled off we were able to hang out, and we had an interesting chat about adoption. It came up because he decided he doesn't want to go to this indoor water park we are going to next weekend. We decided that him not going is not an option; it's a family trip. He was saying how we're not family and how my and my husband's families (mom, dad, siblings, etc.) is not his family. I asked what makes someone a family, and he said it's the people you are related too. So I asked him if my cousin Andrew was therefor not a part of our family. I guess D didn't know he was adopted. But he said "Well that's different, but I still wouldn't consider you my family" or something like that. I have no idea really what he said. Sometimes he says stuff and I cannot even understand what he is talking about or what he is asking. My husband has the same problem so I know it's not just me!

I guess he is going to be on the track team this spring, and practice starts tonight. I kind of don't like it when he has practices like this because they go until 4:30, then by the time we get home it's almost 5:00. It just doesn't leave very much time in the day! And also M doesn't come over on days he has practice...normally I pick him up at 3, pick the littles up at 3:30, then we are home by 3:45 and can hang out for a few hours before M's foster mom gets there. But now I will be picking the littles up at 4:00, and then D, and not getting home until 5:00 and M's foster mom would be there at like 5:30 or 5:45 so it's kind of pointless for her to make the transition to our house when she's only going to be there for 1/2 hour.

He is going to try to get a detasseling job this summer. I think it would be really good for him to see other kids working hard and also to be called out by his boss if he isn't working hard. Also you get paid based on the work you do I believe, so if he wants to make more then he would need to work harder! The bummer thing is that he has to be AT our church to get picked up by the bus at 5:00 in the morning. We are in negotiations between him riding his bike there or me driving him. But either way, he has to get the job first. He did apply last year but they never called him back. This year he is (much) taller and a year older so maybe he will have more of a chance.

C got some gift cards for his birthday, so I took him shopping today so he could spend them. He got $10 to Target and $10 to Wal-Mart. First we went to WalMart and I bought him some sandals...apparently his feet are two sizes bigger than they were last summer! Then he ended up choosing an Iron Man action figure riding a motorcycle. Then at Target I took him to the area where most things cost $1. Oh, the wheels in his head were turning. He had a really hard time choosing, and changed his mind several times on what to get. He ended up with this grabber thing, chap stick, a book, a coloring book, an egg with some Pop Rocks in it, and some sunglasses.

Then we got home, and he was just super upset. He was whining about how he wanted the other Iron Man at the store (it was $20 so he wasn't able to afford that one), and how his motorcycle wouldn't stay up, wah wah wah. For real, real tears. And when I asked him to go inside to get ready to go to preschool, he screamed "Noooo!" and then also he yelled at me again when I asked him to go potty. Meanwhile Y, with no new toys and no new shoes, was just playing as happily as could be.

I could tell C was getting a little overwhelmed with all the choices and I think he had some buyer's remorse. As far as I know, this is the first time he has gotten to spend his "own" money, and I know how it feels when you spend all your money and then you don't have anything left! Next time I will probably only do one store and then wait a few weeks to take him to the next store, and also I will tell him he doesn't have to spend it all.

Also I think it's time to start giving the little boys money for the chores that they do. Basically at this time that consists of them setting the table. They pick up their own toys too but that is pretty much a given. I think it will be good for them to learn about how much stuff costs and also good for them to start giving their money when we go to church (we will do mandatory giving and mandatory saving). Obviously they aren't going to be making a whole lot of money, but it's a start and it's better to start them learning early I think. Maybe I'll also pay them to pick dandelions!

I haven't gotten a call yet so I think that means the visit tonight must be actually happening. So that's good, I guess.

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It's been a year since I last wrote. So much has happened! Way too much to put here, but suffice to say it has been crazy. Our oldest has headed off to boot camp for the Marines, he'll be in the reserves. The other kids are 9, 7, 6, 4, 2.

Maybe I'll have time to catch up on stuff later, though I'm feeling a little weird about posting too much online. It's scary out there in the internets!

I'm writing because our journey in Foster Care Land might not be over, like we sort of thought that it was! Let me explain.

In January 2016 hubby's brother and brother's girlfriend had their son taken into foster care. They didn't tell anyone, and their son was with a foster parent (a stranger, no one in the family) for 3 months until hubby's mom found out. She contacted the state and was able to be the foster parent for the little boy. Brother and his girlfriend got straightened out, and got him back about 9 months later.

So I took the three older boys to get their eyes checked. Cassius already had glasses, but only needed to wear them at school. He kept them in the case in his backpack. A few weeks before the last day of school he said "Mommy, when are you going to fix my glasses?" Ah, well, I guess when you let me know that they are broken, son! They were unsalvageable and by that time it really didn't matter too much anyway. I have no idea how long they were broken before he let me know about them. D lost his glasses, or broke them or...something. He typically looses them within a few weeks of starting the school year. Then since Y will be starting kindergarten this year we got his eyes checked as well. We had an inking he maybe needed some help. Yep, his right eye is 20/100 and his left is 20/400! So he needs to wear glasses all the time. Even with glasses the ophthalmologist said she could only get his vision to 20/30, but obviously that is still much much better.

So I'm sure I mentioned that I sent bio mom a message a few weeks ago just checking in on how she's doing, and I hadn't heard back from her.

Well I finally heard back from her last night. She's in the hospital for her heart and blood pressure, and it's not looking so good. She has struggled with this for a long time, it sounds like it runs in the family. She's still very young, too young to be dealing with this but I guess we don't get to decide what "too young" is. Anyway it sounds like she'll be in the hospital at least for a few more days. And doctors found something else on her liver but aren't sure what it is. She was supposed to find out today but hasn't yet.

She asked me to call her, so I did. She said "You guys are about the only family I have left" meaning people that she actually talks to. :( I was nervous about it because I thought maybe there was a chance of confrontation but it went just fine. She sounded so t…

I am a wife to a wonderful husband, a stay at home mom and homeschool teacher, and a small business owner/employee. Currently living in our home we have 2 dogs, 1 cat, and 5 kids. D is 18 and out on his own, C is 9, Y is 7, Miss M is 6, big surprise Ben (conceived after 5 years of not preventing pregnancy and years after giving up on fertility treatments, then born 11 weeks early) is 4, and our youngest (also a big surprise!) is 2. D, Y and C have been with us since June 2010 and Miss M has been with us since May 2012. Their adoptions were finalized on December 1, 2012 when they left foster care forever!
This blog chronicles our adventures and learning experiences as we endeavor to raise someone else's children (now our own!) to the best of our abilities.