I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

Thursday

the 11th commandment

Jon is helping Jane study for a test over the 10 Commandments and he almost has her convinced that the 11th is "Honor Thy Stepfather."

4 comments:

The divorce rate of parents with special needs children is roughly 80% so in our support group we have the discussion of fathers and dads and stepdads come up alot. A general concensus seems to be that "stepdad" is an unnecessary, potentially derogatory, label. Naturally, not everyone would agree with such a personal choice.

I personally believe that any male with a sperm count can father a child but it takes a special man to be a father to a child. The father to the child need not be the sperm donor. Unless biodad is very involved in the children's lives, I think the male figure in their lives is dimenished if unnecessarily labeled "step." If a distinguishment must be made, perhaps biodad should be labeled "father" and stepdad labeled "dad." With out children, we did not force it one way or another. We even gave them a chance to to call me "Doug" and they chose "Dad."

I would not be so presumptious as to come across as trying to tell you what to do. I also am not trying to sound judgemental. Just food for thought. My children have friends that make a big deal out of noting the difference between "dad" and "stepdad" and almost always "stepdad" seems to slip from their mouths in a negative tone.

In our lives, biodad visits roughly 36 hours out of the year. He calls one child sporadically often with weeks between calls and rarely talks to the other two. Its quite a different story. I'm not sure how things would be if he were nearby and involved.