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Holiday Drama/opinions please?

So me and 3 mates have booked a holiday, this was booked probably around 3 weeks ago. One of my mates dropped out on Monday, messaged us he couldn't go for personal reasons (main factor being he was starting a new job the following week from our holiday and didn't want us to be late/ was causing him anxiety as he has alot of issues at the moment. Enlight of this we obviously tried to get him to go but he stuck by his decision and said he couldn't go as he wouldn't enjoy it, he did say i accept i have lost the money.Ok so after this we got someone from the same group (there are 6 of us in this group of friends who are very close and have been probably 10 years +) on board, however in doing so this was within 2 weeks of us going. This other friend at the time of the holiday being booked was pretty clear he might not be able to afford it, however now that its effectively an empty seat and we just need to pay admin fee he was sold. I called my mate who couldn't go right away, i said look are you 100% sure you cant go and its not just a rash decision on his part, he confirmed he didn't want to go and he wouldn't change his mind. So i have told him that we are looking to change to my other mates name, i did present it that he didn't really have any chance to call any shots, he did say is he going to contribute? i replied unlikely but maybe well all buy him a few drinks when we go out next weekend.

After this i then got a text probably 30mins/half hour later, saying he felt this was taking the mick and he feels the other person should pay towards this holiday, his argument is he is happy for us to go with an empty seat but if someone is going instead they should pay. I do feel this is reasonable on his part, but enlight of the last minute cancellation and for us to replace him at short notice, my friend and any others would have to have the money to change the name (circa £100) also spending money £400-500, had to buy passport etc. So which he feels he has effectively bought a holiday for someone, in our eyes the people who are going he was always going to lose the money and its just fortunate for the other guy he can now go.

The problem is we have hit a big crossroads, with other friends getting involved because of he is in a bad place. I do feel if it was me personally who would have taken the holiday, yes i would have offered some towards it. But again i dont think the person who has replaced him is in a position to even offer a small portion eg. £50-150, however the person who dropped out is insisting he pays him £150, although he accepts he will lose the money if my other mate dont go. The other one is now saying he might not bother because the grief he is getting even though we are all on his side of the coin.

In summary this is a S*** situation for my friend who has had to cancel last minute, ideally if we could subsidise him we would although this should be down to the individual to make that decision, the person who already accepted losing out should not demand money (in my opinion) but if they do get anything would be a bonus as they had lost out regardless, due to the last minute we didn't really have much leeway on getting other people on board and part of the same group of friends.

We did discuss in a group alot yesterday which original mate was in but he couldn't take it, although we were all just putting our points across with mutual friends to mediate and try and get this mess sorted. At present it might be we end up all not as good friends or even not at all at this rate.

The thing is we have all sort of agreed to disagree, although mate has threatened to go to small claims court to recover some money ( not likely imo). The easy option would be for other mate to pay up but i dont feel we should be forcing him or getting him in a position so he wont go, we have already paid admin charge.

Just interested on peoples thoughts really, we aren't going to get a solution that suits all or even a compromise but i would like people on heres opinions as they are normally good...

Expectations are funny things. Assuming both parties are being honest, which it sounds as though they are, they both have different expectations. I think it is for the two people involved to sort it out.

Expectations are funny things. Assuming both parties are being honest, which it sounds as though they are, they both have different expectations. I think it is for the two people involved to sort it out.

This is completely the situation really, i think the way it was presented to the other mate is more the reason he wont pay anything or hasn't offered. The original mate has gone about everything the totally wrong way eg. directly the person involved and hassling him, the expectation element aswell even though he had accepted it.

Expectations are funny things. Assuming both parties are being honest, which it sounds as though they are, they both have different expectations. I think it is for the two people involved to sort it out.

Tell the judas tosser mate you've decided to go with just an empty seat and he has to meet cancellation obligations. This is a lie. Change the ticket into the new bloke's name and don't tell the judas tosser mate.Sorted. Send judas tosser mate a photo via social media of you all on holiday, giving him the finger.Have a great time and don't give a second thought about the ex-mate.

Tell the judas tosser mate you've decided to go with just an empty seat and he has to meet cancellation obligations. This is a lie. Change the ticket into the new bloke's name and don't tell the judas tosser mate.Sorted. Send judas tosser mate a photo via social media of you all on holiday, giving him the finger.Have a great time and don't give a second thought about the ex-mate.

Tell the judas tosser mate you've decided to go with just an empty seat and he has to meet cancellation obligations. This is a lie. Change the ticket into the new bloke's name and don't tell the judas tosser mate.Sorted. Send judas tosser mate a photo via social media of you all on holiday, giving him the finger.Have a great time and don't give a second thought about the ex-mate.

Haha already changed and at one point yesterday looked like the rest of us might have to pick up cancellation charge, i did say the rest jokingly when we were discussing with other mate we should just send loads of photos but i think that would send him over the edge

The original bloke is being an idiot.He has chosen not to go and accepted the loss.

The second bloke would not be going other than if he could just pay the amendment fees otherwise I presume he would be on the holiday already.He has had a touch, but it is not at the expense of the original fella.

This is the holiday equivalent of putting something outside your house to be collected by the binmen and then demanding money if someone else offers to take it.

Original mate had already agreed that he would lose his money so imo there is no issue & asking for money from the replacement is taking the p**s. 2nd mate should pay the admin fee for changing the ticket only. Maybe you could all chip in with a bit of money for drinks etc but surely he can afford a bit himself - if not just the remaining mates should go.

The original bloke is being an idiot.He has chosen not to go and accepted the loss.

The second bloke would not be going other than if he could just pay the amendment fees otherwise I presume he would be on the holiday already.He has had a touch, but it is not at the expense of the original fella.

This is the holiday equivalent of putting something outside your house to be collected by the binmen and then demanding money if someone else offers to take it.

Mr OneLung, this is exactly our thoughts. Obviously there are mixed opinions on this one. 2nd mate, could not go. now we would like him to go and he still probably cant afford to subsidise the other mate, pretty sure if he did he would have offered from the outset he isn't a C**T.

Original mate had already agreed that he would lose his money so imo there is no issue & asking for money from the replacement is taking the p**s. 2nd mate should pay the admin fee for changing the ticket only. Maybe you could all chip in with a bit of money for drinks etc but surely he can afford a bit himself - if not just the remaining mates should go.

He isn't asking us for anything to help out with his holiday, we wont be paying for his drinks he isn't skint to point we need to do that just to offer something to person who has lost full amount.

I seems like the mate going for free is using up the other mate's place - so reasonable to provide some compensation to him. I get the argument that he wouldn't get any money if nobody took his place but somebody is taking his place. Assuming that £150 was well below the total loss, it seems a fair amount to pay him and I can see why he is a bit upset.

Think the original mate is being unreasonable, he made his choice to drop out and accepted he wouldn't get his money back. Your mate covering the admin fee to change the details over is enough imo. Rather have an empty seat than another mate enjoying themselves is a bit out of order

I seems like the mate going for free is using up the other mate's place - so reasonable to provide some compensation to him. I get the argument that he wouldn't get any money if nobody took his place but somebody is taking his place. Assuming that £150 was well below the total loss, it seems a fair amount to pay him and I can see why he is a bit upset.

£365 total loss here, so yes £150 is less than half of the original loss. I can understand it from his side too but dont feel he should 'Expect' to be reimbursed from the outset when he had already accepted he was going to lose out.

Think the original mate is being unreasonable, he made his choice to drop out and accepted he wouldn't get his money back. Your mate covering the admin fee to change the details over is enough imo. Rather have an empty seat than another mate enjoying themselves is a bit out of order

Exactly my thoughts, no matter how harsh it is he would have lost money so he should really be like oh well at least someone else can enjoy the holiday. would be tough to take but made no difference to the fact he cant make it now.

As it stands, mate 2 feels like he's losing the holiday when in reality he never had the holiday.Mate 1 feels like he's missing out on getting some money back - even though he has already lost the money.

If this was Karl Robinson he would accept missing out on the seat and hold a 10 minute press conference ranting about mate 1's despicable behavior.

If mate 2 is flexible he might be able to fly on a different flight for cheap anyway? worth some research.

As it stands, mate 2 feels like he's losing the holiday when in reality he never had the holiday.Mate 1 feels like he's missing out on getting some money back - even though he has already lost the money.

If this was Karl Robinson he would accept missing out on the seat and hold a 10 minute press conference ranting about mate 1's despicable behavior.

If mate 2 is flexible he might be able to fly on a different flight for cheap anyway? worth some research.

KR part was funny, other bit i think you might have misread the situation. Mate 1 is not going regardless so there is an empty seat (no need to book another cheaper) Mate 2 didn't have a holiday, now he does but the way Mate 1 has acted he hasn't offered any contribution towards Mate 1's losses.

The bloke who is taking his place, now this is if it was me, should offer some dough as a goodwill gesture but he isn't obligated to. Are these 2 in question close mates? Because it's really for them to sort out and not for anyone else to throw their 2 cents in

The bloke who is taking his place, now this is if it was me, should offer some dough as a goodwill gesture but he isn't obligated to. Are these 2 in question close mates? Because it's really for them to sort out and not for anyone else to throw their 2 cents in

Yes they are, not as close as some of us in the group eg. they wouldn't just go out them 2. But we all do go out as often as possible and had 100's of nights out, they are close but again wouldn't necessarily choose to do something on their own without the group or another person from that group.

For the record both would go out with me on their own nights out or do something, also with one of the others in the group (probably 2 of us that hold the 6 together if that makes sense)