In China, we call those unmarried men or women who are at the age of getting married as people with “personal issues”.在中国，我们把那些适龄的未婚青年的婚事叫做“个人问题”。Superiority at work does not imply superiority in personal life, and vice versa. Women with high educational credentials, qualities and incomes usually find it difficult to find their Mr. Right and many of them do have such “personal issues”. They may have pursued post graduate or PhD degrees and now they are in their thirties. Sometimes, they don’t dare to mention the academic degrees they earned for fear of appearing too outstanding to attract a man. 工作上的卓越并不能说明生活上的美满，反之亦然。那些高学历高收入的女性往往难以找到意中人，陷入自己的“个人问题”。她们很可能读研读博耗到了三十岁，甚至不敢提及自己的学位，害怕这样会影响自己对男性的吸引力。Female graduate students have even been described as the “third sex” on university campuses, after both male and female students. The reason is that intelligent females who know what they want put tremendous pressures on males. It is also noted that there is an asymmetry in the situation: it is alright for an intelligent male to marry an uneducated, pretty-looking female and that is presumably fine for the female; but it is not alright for an intelligent female to marry an uneducated male, good-looking or not. That is partly because men do not like women who are better than them. The deep and hidden cultural attitudes that actually drive our behaviors and choices still contain the traditional belief about how to select our mates. The core of this belief is that of the “strong male and weak female”, and this is also intimately connected with the belief that “the male deals with the outside and the female deals with the inside”. The cultural belief on gender inequality restricts our standards and role expectations in choosing our mates.在大学校园里有这样一种说法，世界分成三类人：男人、女人和女博士，因为有主见的知识女性会给男性带来巨大压力。现实中我们很容易发现这样的不对称情况：高学历的男人讨一个漂亮的低学历的老婆——司空见惯；但是如果是相反的情况——高学历的妻子和低学历的丈夫——­­­­­则不容易被接受。一部分原因是男人不喜欢比自己优秀的女人。而传统择偶观念才是造成这种习惯的深层原因。传统择偶观念的核心包括“男尊女卑”，笔者个人认为还包括一个“男主内，女主外”的观念在其中。传统观念中的性别尊卑很大程度上影响了我们的择偶观。Among those female graduate students with “personal issues”, many do want to find a mate on their own or through friends; only a few would permit their parents to arrange “dates”. The social circle of graduate students typically consists of current and former fellow students and people who originate from the same city. These years, there are more females than males in many disciplines (like humanities). The marriage problem emerges under these circumstances. With an ever growing number of female graduate students, the problem is going for worse. Moreover, some of the female graduate students are so devoted to their studies that they are naive in romance and have never been in love, to think we are in a time when love is the No.1 theme on television, movies and even advertisements, and even junior high school students are dating openly in the streets.在这些有“个人问题”的女研究生中，大部分靠自己找对象或要朋友帮忙，只有极少数同意让父母来为其相亲。师哥师姐以及同乡形成了研究生狭小的社交圈子。而近年来，文科学生又主要以女性为主（如人文学科）。在这样的大环境下，显现出了某些婚姻问题。随着女研究生数量的不断增加，这个问题也日益严重。在我们的电视电影和广告充斥着爱情主题、连中学生也大摇大摆谈恋爱的今天，居然还有许多只知道死读书的女研究生从未谈过恋爱，并天真地憧憬着浪漫爱情。The new social environment has made women focus more on job competition. Today, they plan to have their own career before getting married. However, due to social conventions, men, even older men, have more choices than women. It was said that women in seven job categories have the greatest difficulties addressing their “personal issues”: teachers, lawyers, office ladies with foreign-invested companies, medical staff, accountants, translators and statisticians. They are usually too busy to date.新的社会环境造成女性大都将目光注视于职场，在结婚前，她们更多的把精力花在自己的职业和履历上。鉴于这种情况，男性反而有了更大的选择空间。一般来说，七种职业的女性最难于解决她们的“个人问题”：教师、律师、外企职员，医护人员、财会人员、翻译人员以及统计员——­­­­­她们总是太忙了，没时间约会。Many believe it is preferable for young women to marry better than be educated. Those young ladies will be rewarded a great success if they plan their lives well, and get married and have babies at the right age. 大部分的男人都认为找个年轻妻子要比高学历的妻子好多了。年轻女孩子们要好好规划自己的将来，在适当的时候结婚生子，享受幸福人生！