Adoption

I am going through a freak of time right now. While married to my previous husband him and I had two children. After the first, our relationship became a nightmare. So we got pregnant again and I decided adoption would be the only answer.

I am very particular in how I believe a child should be raised and although I love mothering it is very hard for me cause I had a shitty mom. No way would I bring a child into a hell storm of a house and expect them to have any chance at life.

So, my daughter found me on facebook appx a month ago. WOW - what a surprise. So as we are chatting and getting to know each other I soon find out she is living in the very situation I tried to protect her from. Her Mom is very verbally abusive to her.

I am going through a freak of time right now. While married to my previous husband him and I had two children. After the first, our relationship became a nightmare. So we got pregnant again and I decided adoption would be the only answer.

I am very particular in how I believe a child should be raised and although I love mothering it is very hard for me cause I had a s***ty mom. No way would I bring a child into a hell storm of a house and expect them to have any chance at life.

So, my daughter found me on facebook appx a month ago. WOW - what a surprise. So as we are chatting and getting to know each other I soon find out she is living in the very situation I tried to protect her from. Her Mom is very verbally abusive to her.

She is 18. I have talked with her a lot, however I am not even going to close to saying I "know" her. She could be crazy! :? However, I know she is in a situation right now that is detrimental to her mental health.

She is 18. I have talked with her a lot, however I am not even going to close to saying I "know" her. She could be crazy! :? However, I know she is in a situation right now that is detrimental to her mental health.

She is 18. I have talked with her a lot, however I am not even going to close to saying I "know" her. She could be crazy! :? However, I know she is in a situation right now that is detrimental to her mental health.

What if your son thinks she is hot?

It is his biological sister. :? So that would be a problem. Plus the girl likes girls.............................right now. :?

Without judging your situation, I've come to value my child over everything else and am willing to do what is best for her regardless of the situation. That would include removing myself from a bad situation if I believed it not good for a child. What is right for a child is to be with a parent who loves them and will act in their best interest. Staying with someone, man or woman, in a bad situation because you "love" them(as you hear plenty of women who get beat up and abused say) is not in the best interest of the child.

Plenty of people pay lip service to "my kids are my life and everything I do is for them" and most of them put themselves way ahead of their kids. To those people who do that and are in a bad sitation, adoption is the absolute right answer as far as I'm concerned.

As I've gotten older I've lost my patience for bad parents. This has come with experience. I've discovered, through my own trials, that no matter how bad the situation seems - you ALWAYS have a choice. There is virtually no one in the United States who is being forced to stay in a bad, abusive, or just shitty relationship with someone. no one, period. Those who do are making a choice to put themselves first, even if its subconsciously, even if they "feel" trapped - there is a choice and they are making it to stay.

The "thing" is - they are well within their right to be selfish and to put themselves first. Most of them don't even realize how ridiculious they are.

It's all very sad and heart wrenching and its not to say I don't have sypmathy for people who feel trapped in a relationship - its just I've come to realize they arent really trapped, and especially if they have kids, I find it mostly pathetic and sickening that anyone willingly makes the choice to put their own flesh in blood in those situations.

:lol: you might have to have the old dont try to bang your sister talk over at the tamara/seawall house.

That's funny, cause my son is a horn dog. I mean he's 20 - So my daughter friended him first on facebook. He accepted, cause he's a horn dog and friends any girls. After I found this out I went to my son and was like "OMG, you didn't hit on her did you"?? :lol:

Mind you we have never seen her, cause her Adoptive Mother failed to send us updates as stated in the court papers. I am not going to hold that against her though, cause her husband died when my Daughter was two.

Mind you we have never seen her, cause her Adoptive Mother failed to send us updates as stated in the court papers. I am not going to hold that against her though, cause her husband died when my Daughter was two.

I married a really hot number with beautiful curves. Every time we try to multiply we end up with zero babies.

Tamara will be the first one to tell you that you can't multiply by zero.
Additionally, it seems like you don't mind trying and trying again. :mrgreen:
But honestly, get checked.
Personally I would chose to adopt a child because in-vitro (by definition) means that certain fertilized embryos (i.e. tiny babies) get aborted / tossed out as part of the procedure and I'm not cool with that.

Adoption, abortion - such a divisive subject, but I think we can find some common ground. Regardless of which side of the scalpel you fall on, I think consensus is attainable. Whether you support a women's right to choose or not, I think we can all agree that it's a matter of personal taste.

If you like your babies really, really tender - I mean like veal tender - I recommend abortion. Astoundingly good raw, especially on the half shell or braised in a lovely wine wine jus de placenta. Truly, the possibilties are endless. Now, some people are opposed to abortions. They'd never think of dining early, preferring to wait for aging. If you like them more seasoned, perhaps free range is more your style. Adoption is the way to go if you like a little something on the bone.

Adoption, abortion - such a divisive subject, but I think we can find some common ground. Regardless of which side of the scalpel you fall on, I think consensus is attainable. Whether you support a women's right to choose or not, I think we can all agree that it's a matter of personal taste.

If you like your babies really, really tender - I mean like veal tender - I recommend abortion. Astoundingly good raw, especially on the half shell or braised in a lovely wine wine jus de placenta. Truly, the possibilties are endless. Now, some people are opposed to abortions. They'd never think of dining early, preferring to wait for aging. If you like them more seasoned, perhaps free range is more your style. Adoption is the way to go if you like a little something on the bone.

My sister in law was just reunited with her Daughter she had when she was 14, its weird how they love the same things.....tattoos piercings punk music.......pot

That's really cool turd. WOW what a young age and good decision for her.

My daughter is now living with us. I guess some things went sour after the adoption, which leaves me second guessing many things her adoptive parents told me. It has been a whirlwind of a couple weeks, but she is home with us and safe.

Her and her biological older brother are so much alike it is wild. Her and I have very many similarities and we are having a blast getting to know her.

Without judging your situation, I've come to value my child over everything else and am willing to do what is best for her regardless of the situation. That would include removing myself from a bad situation if I believed it not good for a child. What is right for a child is to be with a parent who loves them and will act in their best interest. Staying with someone, man or woman, in a bad situation because you "love" them(as you hear plenty of women who get beat up and abused say) is not in the best interest of the child.

Plenty of people pay lip service to "my kids are my life and everything I do is for them" and most of them put themselves way ahead of their kids. To those people who do that and are in a bad sitation, adoption is the absolute right answer as far as I'm concerned.

As I've gotten older I've lost my patience for bad parents. This has come with experience. I've discovered, through my own trials, that no matter how bad the situation seems - you ALWAYS have a choice. There is virtually no one in the United States who is being forced to stay in a bad, abusive, or just s***ty relationship with someone. no one, period. Those who do are making a choice to put themselves first, even if its subconsciously, even if they "feel" trapped - there is a choice and they are making it to stay.

The "thing" is - they are well within their right to be selfish and to put themselves first. Most of them don't even realize how ridiculious they are.

It's all very sad and heart wrenching and its not to say I don't have sypmathy for people who feel trapped in a relationship - its just I've come to realize they arent really trapped, and especially if they have kids, I find it mostly pathetic and sickening that anyone willingly makes the choice to put their own flesh in blood in those situations.

This is a very good and respectful write up.

I am not exactly sure what you are saying here, but I am going to go on the defense with this. Some holes you dig yourself into take more time to get out of then it did to dig.
There is a certain amount of power an abuser has over his victim. And when you do not have family support to help you break away, this can be a timely process. It is a cycle and I am glad I broke it. It was broken due to my children and me not wanting them in a situation that was violent. Which meant one had to suffer through getting out with me, while the other was under the protection of an adopted couple.

AND mind you abusers do not seek strong women, they seek the weak ones. So it takes time to get out.