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Author
Topic: Again on Oral Sex (Read 13439 times)

I originally wrote this post on Healingwell and Dr. H.I am not sure this is against the etiquette... but here it goes.(Please keep in mind that I have no access to councelling, and that at the moment I am living about a meter away from my body - and there is a wall called "anxiety" between my mind and my body...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------I have already posted this somewhere else. However, this is more of a "user-orientated" forum, and... well, right now I don't have ANY access to councelling or psychological help. So, here I am.I "fixed" the time frames a little bit. It's always a bit confusing...

On the 14th of August, I performed unprotected oral sex on a Panamian prostitute (20 minutes). Now, the last thing I want to do is put my partner's life at risk.

I spent a *long time* looking up on the internet risk factors etc. The reason why I am writing is because I believe I have all of the odds against me:

* I flossed 10 minutes before the episode (long story...)* I had sore gums near my last tooth* I was jet-lagged. I read that being jet-lagged lowers your immune system* I have genital herpes* I byte my cheeks with my teeth. It's a "habit" I've had for a long time.* She was a prostitute; however, her HIV status was unknown* The day after, she told me that she had a sore throat and hadn't felt very well the whole week.* She didn't get especially wet during the episode; however, I didn't wash my mouth until the morning after.* I was drunk. I read on the web that drinking alcohol increases the chances of infection* She sent a message to my phone last week, saying "I am glad the test was negative. I am so happy for you. I love you lots, call me" (!) The message wasn't for me!!! I wonder who she was meant to send it to...* Sex workers in Panama get tested weekly for STDs; however, apparently they don't do weekly HIV tests - it would be rather expensive, and there is the window anyway!

I talked to a local lab: they told me that they have the latest HIV tests (with P24), and that even after 2 weeks it is likely to give a positive result if I was indeed infected. They told me that I should go in 10 days (28 days after exposure) and then again for final confirmation after 2 months.

Questions:

1) Is that true that there are no "documented" cases of HIV passed on giving oral sex to a woman?2) If I were infected, would I be the first one?3) Given the circumstances, are my chances still good?That article is what actually triggered my fear the day after.4) Even if my chances are like 1 in 10000, it's still possible that I draw the "unlucky card" - right?5) How long shall I have protected sex with my wife?

I am stressing out over this - a lot. I am finding it very, very hard to concentrate and to retain information. I have no access to counselling (I am still travelling). This site is my only harbour. I had cancer a while ago, and can tell you that fear of HIV is _worse_ than cancer. With cancer, there are (painful) cures. With HIV, it's like a slow death sentence, which is passed on to people in activities that are blissful otherwise. Also, cancer doesn't stop you from making love, and it's not infectious... HIV really is the worst thing ever, and I needed this exposure to realise it.

The story continues...

Even now, three and a half weeks after exposure, my armpit lymph nodes still hurt (they started 10/14 days after exposure) and I have had a sore throat for 10/14 days as well.

Since I had cancer recently and am now in surveillance (fun, uh?), I went to the doctor to get my armpits checked and I had an ultrasound: 4 lymph nodes in my right armpit, 2 in my left one. They are about 2 centimeters. It's not cancer, thankfully: the doctor said "You have an inflamation or a virus of some kind".

When he said "virus", I shaked.

There is some background info... I shaved my armpits without shaving foam about 4 weeks ago, just before the "episode", and applied deodorant. Could that be what "did it"? I mean, could the deodorant have caused the lymph nodes to swell?

Also, I am taking my HIV test on Monday, 4 weeks and 1 day after potential exposure, and I am frankly crapting myself. The test is latest generation, including p24. I realise that it's not conclusive. I will then take another test 6 weeks after exposure, once I am back home - since that test will be a latest generation one as well with p24, it should be conclusive.

The doctor in a forum said that my exposure was very little. I can't stop thinking that the "extenuating circumstances" could possibly make me beat the odds. Since I am traveling, I have no access to counceling nor anything like that. I am breaking down.

Help!----------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that's the post. As you can imagine, I have received several answers. The short version? "Don't even get tested. You don't have HIV. Get on".

I can't.

I feel that cancer really pusehd my sanity on the edge, and... well, this HIV scare finished me off. Everybody around me can see that I am just not happy, in a moment when I am supposed to be on top of the world.

My armpits still hurt. My throat is still a little sore (and it has been "a little sore" for 10 days).

I have some questions for you.

* Is a DUO test (P24/Elisa) at all conclusive after 4 weeks and 1 day? If I take anothger DUO test 6 weeks after exposure, and they are both negative, would they be conclusive?

* Do you know, or can you find out (calling a doctor?), for me, if shaving with a razon without foam nor soap CAN indeed cause my armpit lymph nodes to swell up like they did? I had ultrasounds, so it's not cancer... well, that's a start. Please please help.

* What would you do if you were me? I have no real access to doctors and counceling. I will have to pay *amazing* amounts of money for my blood work. I feel lost, insanely depressed and... well, I don't want to say anymore, but you can imagine

If this scare becomes just a "distant memory", well, I must say that I look up to every single HIV patient in the world more than ever. I am not able to deal with the thought of possibly have caught HIV. Some people here have it...! I know what's it like, waiting for stupid markers to be low and facing the nightmare of chemo if things are not-so-good. Well, guys, you win. I think the stress of seeing my CD4 go down would drive me to insanity. You are blessed by amazing minds, and infinite strength. You are definitely much stronger than I have ever been.

It's easy to "be happy" when everything is going well and the sun is shining. You are different. To me, you are like living boddhisatvas/angels with impossible strengths.

No hiv test is considered conclusive until 12-13 weeks after the event in question. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being 22 days.

If you're worried about money, don't bother with Monday's test, wait until the six week point. You can get free testing at a GUM clinic, but if you use a GUM clinic at four weeks, they're not going to want to retest you again at six, they'll want you to wait for your conclusive 12 week test.

A negative result at six weeks is an excellent indication of your actual status. However, this MUST be confirmed at the end of the three month window period.

Now saying all that, you didn't have a real risk of hiv infection through going down on a woman. The fluid that is known to be infectious is deep within the vagina, in a thick mucus surrounding the cervix. You are hardly likely to have been in contact with this mucus.

Also, there are over twelve different protiens and enzymes present in saliva that act to disable hiv and this is why becoming infected through giving oral is very rare.

The only reason I would suggest testing for you in this situation is for your own peace of mind, considering your medical history. Keep working with your doctor where your glands are concerned and yes, a reaction to deoderant can cause localised lymph swelling. Keep your hands off them because touching them all the time will make them swell and keep them swollen. Hands Off!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

No hiv test is considered conclusive until 12-13 weeks after the event in question. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being 22 days.

OK. Well, at least it will be an indication...

Quote

If you're worried about money, don't bother with Monday's test, wait until the six week point.

I can't... long story.

Quote

You can get free testing at a GUM clinic, but if you use a GUM clinic at four weeks, they're not going to want to retest you again at six, they'll want you to wait for your conclusive 12 week test.

Well, I will be back to Oz 7 weeks after exposure. The GUM clinin in Oz won't mind if I tested abroad! :-D

Quote

A negative result at six weeks is an excellent indication of your actual status. However, this MUST be confirmed at the end of the three month window period.

OK.

Quote

Now saying all that, you didn't have a real risk of hiv infection through going down on a woman.

Hi aussie you are definitely not alone,they are people with the same situation and fears that you are going through now........you wil be fine..

you should take the moderators words to heart because they know exactly what they are talking about....i have been to 3 doctors so far and i told them my encounter(oral sex)and all of them said its fine hiv is not transmitted this way.....

they stressed i shouldnt lose any sleep over the incident....your mind is really going in the wrong direction...slow down and relax you will be fine......

If you continue to go in this direction your mind will convince your body taht you do indeed contracted hiv and you will see more symptoms...i am in no way eligible to be giving advice but from my experiance and all the otehr guys like us experince its anxiety thats killing you.Relax bro

In addition to Ann's sage advice I would add that stress over this encounter could be responsible for every symptom you present. You would be shocked at the number of ways stress can impact you physically.

I am still somehow able to see what's going on in my brain.I have a 1:20000 risk to be infected. Possibly less.My brain, especially after getting a rare bloody cancer, is now convinced somewhere deep inside that I am infected. My swollen lymph nodes and my slight sore throat whisper to my head that these are the symptoms.

My mind races. I think about what it will be like, being HIV positive. I feel desperate and helpless. I think about contact-less sex with my wife. Then I realise that I might not even be with her, that she might well dump me after realising that I ended up licking another girls bits. Or that she won't want to live with an HIV+. Or, that I wouldn't want her to risk her life and her health with me.

As my mind races, I get desperate and seek assistance. I am travelling, and there is nothing around me that can really help me. No knowledgable doctor. No real assistance. This forums is all I have - I am talking about forum.poz.com and healingwell.com, my current lifesavers.

My "physical" friends try to help. Sometimes, they manage. Sometimes, I realise that they don't deserve this version of me. They are happy to see me, and yet they can't. And it's my fault.

THere are times when I feel better. Other times when I am totally convinced that I am such an idiot, and that I destroyed my life this way, that nothing - nothing - will ever be the same.

Above all, this thought - HIV, HIV, HIV - is always in the back of my mind. It's a thin layers that covers every thought, action, will.

Sometimes, the guilt coming from the thought that I might indeed not be affected whereas people in this forum are become unbearable. I am being a burden. They deserve my help, not my helplessness. I feel even more desperate.

Suicidal thought haven't come into play. However, I realise that I cannot live like this, and yet I cannot live in any other way.

I tried to put into words what probably a lot of people out there feel when they becoming HIV-obsessed. I realise that no matter what my status is, I am. And, I am trapped. I don't know why I did it, or if it's gonna be of any use. I don't know if I'd be stronger if cancer hadn't cracked me already.

As a fellow Australian I feel I have a responsibility to tell you to get the over yourself. It's time to get a grip mate. Rather than obsessing about HIV and posting here, perhaps you need to make an appointment with the mental health people in your area and have a chat about what's going on between your ears.

Well, I guess people here got sick of me. However, here's a quick update.I went for my blood test (4 weeks + 1 day). Results tomorrow.There was a mixup with the tests; so, I have to go back tomorrow to be tested for Mono and other stuff.

I had an infectologist and an oncologist looking at me. They were most concerned that cancer could be back. It was a bit funny, actually. They pinched and poked and talked about markers and this and that, and I kept on saying "but could it be ARS?" and they smiled at me.

One of them said "Gee, if you did get HIV with your exposure, and you are absolutely certain that that's how you got it [which I would be], PLEASE come back - I want to write a paper and become famous with the first proved case".

!!!

I am feeling better. The trouble is, the minute I actually feel better, I feel that I am feeling TOO MUCH better, and then I won't be ready for bad news if there is bad news... That's keeping my stress level high. But, at least right now, I do feel a lot better. I guess I will freak out tomorrow when I go pick up the HIV test...

the minute I actually feel better, I feel that I am feeling TOO MUCH better, and then I won't be ready for bad news if there is bad news... That's keeping my stress level high.

Aussie,

If you do get bad news, it won't be where hiv is concerned. And you know what? Keeping your stress level high will make you feel ill. Chill out! I can understand why you are on a bit of a hair trigger in light of your previous health problems, but one thing you don't need to worry about - given what you've written here - is hiv.

Keep working with your doctors and please, for your own sake, get some support for yourself in the form of counseling as soon as you get back home. You deserve to do that for yourself so you can get on with your life.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

An irritation due to shaving+deodorant seems to be the answer right now. But, as I said, I don't want to believe that too much, because I wouldn't be able to deal with the shock if HIV came back "reactive".

Right now, I have no idea what sort of bad news I could possibly get. The doctor even ruled out Hep a/b/c!

It's a moot point, cobber. You're result will come back negative. I agree with Goderator Ann. When you get back to Oz, make an appointment with your local mental health people. Get this stuff sorted out.

When you get back to Oz, make an appointment with your local mental health people. Get this stuff sorted out.

This is a little Oz specific... I hope others here won't mind. Matty, I never needed mental counceling. How do you actually go about it? I normally go to my local GP normally (who, poor thing, had to give me a lot of bad news over the last year! :-D ). Would she refer me to somebody who wants a zillion bucks an hour to sit on a couch? Or... what?

I definitely have an obsessive compulsive problem that got out of control. I know that it will settle down once this scare is over. But, I don't think it's a good idea to live in such mental fragility, because something else might happen, and it might trigger it again.

Hi i just wanted to say i am nervour again..i was feeling my body and i noticed by my swallow pipe to the left there is this circular thing prolly ia lymph node hurts a bit when i push it...i need to know how do you know when you lymph nodes are swollen..waht is the normal size right now this one is about a cm or so..kindly reply moderators...

This is a little Oz specific... I hope others here won't mind. Matty, I never needed mental counceling. How do you actually go about it? I normally go to my local GP normally (who, poor thing, had to give me a lot of bad news over the last year! :-D ). Would she refer me to somebody who wants a zillion bucks an hour to sit on a couch? Or... what?

Aussie,

I recommend that when you get back to Oz, see your GP and explain your problem. Ask for a referral to an appropriate counsellor. I don't know which state your from, but the relevant Department of Health should have a mental health unit or sexual health service that has appropriately qualified professionals.

OK, so that you know...I don't have any results yet. I did my test two days ago in hospital, but they do them all "grouped", and it takes up to 6 days to have them back.BUT... they do _everything_: ELISA, PCR, p24, NAT... and that's apparently what they *always* do!

However, since I need to know something a little quicker, I will do a "normal" test (Duo, ELISA + p24) in a lab tomorrow morning, and will have the results tomorrow afternoon.

At that point, it will be 4 weeks + 4 days, which is good even though not conclusive.

I really think that the PCR test is not a good idea. You see, HIV isn't a concern for you so testing really isn't necessary in your case.

PCR tests for HIV are not designed for diagnostic purposes, rather they're intended for use to monitor disease progression in people who have been confirmed as HIV positive by antibody assays. They tend to return false positive results. Could you imagine what a false positive on a PCR test would do to your emotional state right now?

I checked, and I was wrong. I am so sorry I wasted your time...They do Elisa, NAT, P24 - no PCR. It's still a heck of a lot - much more than I expected! I guess that's what you get for sneaking a test in while dealing with an hospital...

I was confused because I thought that NAT and PCR were the same thing, but they aren't.

And apparently an expert (not sure - I guess a lab person or infectologist) will interpret the WHOLE thing, and give you a response.

Matty, do you really thing this?

"You see, HIV isn't a concern for you so testing really isn't necessary in your case."

I mean, you think I should get on with my life, and forget about the whole thing *right now*?

BTW, every time I write here, I feel that I am wasting your time... I guess what I want to say is that I am *immensely* grateful for your help. I know it doesn't mean anything; but, I don't want to be yet another Worried Well who disappears once the scares dissolves. (and no, I don't mean "I will stay here and moan about being worried forever :-D ").

Just before I chewed you out for not reading the Testing Lesson linked to in the Welcome thread, I checked it to see what it had to say about NAT testing. It doesn't say anything about NAT and I'll speak to Tim Horn when he's back off holiday about including something.

NAT testing doesn't come up here very often because it is primarily used to detect hiv infection in donated blood. From what I remember, it is sensitive mainly in the first few weeks of infection, similar to p24 testing.

The combination of tests that they will run, coupled with your timing of the test, would most likely determine if you are positive - but it won't give you a conclusive negative result.

The thing is, I agree with Matty. You don't need to test over this in the first place. People don't get infected through going down on a woman. Just ask my hiv negative partner of over seven years. Know what I mean?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

There are more illnesses out there - besides hiv and/or cancer - than you can shake a proverbial stick at. It could be anything and it could be nothing. It could be strep throat, mono, an infected molar root - anything. It could also be stress. We tend to breathe through our mouths more when we're stressed and that can cause a sore throat. And those lymph nodes of yours just might be swollen because you keep checking them. Keep yer mitts off!

And see a doctor again if your sore throat persists. It might be useful for you to get your throat swabbed for gonorrhea and chlamydia - because unlike hiv, you CAN get those from going down on a woman who is infected with either one of them - yes, you can get these in your throat and they can cause it to be sore.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

thank you again. Warning... there are about a million question in this post...

I will go to a doctor tomorrow, to get my throat checked for Clamydia and Gonorrhea. Not sure how or where, but I will definitely manage. (Maybe the lab will be able to do it...? It is a lab after all...)

Questions:

If gonorrhea or clamydia it's my throat that got infected, would it show up in blood tests as well?

I don't suppose you you know that clamydia/gonorrhea could cause your lymph nodes to get swollen and quite painful? I am not being lazy. it's just that I am NOT going symptoms surfing and...

Also... I haven't found anybody who was able to tell me: could it be that my lymph nodes are so big because I shaved my armpits without foam and without soap just about about 24 hours before my "encounter"?If so, what kind of doctor would be able to help me? I need the name, because where I am right now I don't have access to GPs...

When I am out of this hole, and I am back home, I will ask you what the best way to show my gratitude is (donation/present/whatever)...

Standard blood tests will not reveal gonorrhea or chlamydia and I don't think there are specific blood tests for them anyway. Go to a GUM clinic for a swab and you can ask them about your lymph glands while you're there.

The thing is, ANY infection (including but NOT limited to STIs) can cause your glands to swell. ANY. That's what they're there for - dealing with infection. It's possible that you got yourself some sort of bacterial infection when shaving. Our armpits are rife with bacteria - it's the bacteria that makes them smell bad.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

It's late, and I can't sleep.I will go to a lab tomorrow to checm my throat for STDs.

Question: shall I just check clamidia and gonorrhea? Or shall I check just those two?

The other question comes from the paranoid Tony. Please forgive me if it's grating. I am very unlikely to have caught HIV. Granted. We don't even know if I did catch STD on my throat. Granted. However... if I did catch them, would they increase the likelihood of me having caught HIV as well?

I remember reading that other STDs make it more likely to get HIV... Scary.

Went for my tests.I also checked clamydia and gonorrhea in my throat. I sort of hope they are positive, because they would at least explain this weird sore throat.

Right now, I don't think I am gonna have the strength to call up and find out the HIV test results. It's a p24/antibody duo, so it should be quite reliable and, given my circumstances, sorta conclusive (even though I will repeat the tests at 8 weeks, just before leaving here, and 3 months just because 'that's how you do it'.

I don't know where I I'll find the strength to call up to get the results.

Test at 4 weeks and 3 days, done at the private lab: completely negative.That includes P24 antigen, Elisa, etc. I actually made friends with the doctor at the lab, and he said 'it's as negative as it could be", which is promising.

Test done in hospital (the super dupa one, with P24, NAT, Elisa, CD4 count, etc.): I am still waiting for this one. I will know in a few hours, apparently. And no, I didn't ask for such a full screening - it was sort-of an accident.

I will know about clamydia/gonorrhea tomorrow.

I realise that the test is not conclusive, but I do feel a heck of a lot better; the lab guy told me that the p24 antigen really says a lot. I realise that it's still possible that I tested in the window when p24 went down but antibody wasn't reactive yet. However, I don't shake in horror as I write this, which makes me think that my worried well syndrome must be getting better.

I will let you know about the other results as soon as I have them.But, it's looking good.

I am obviously not too worried if I have other STDs in my throat etc., because they are easily treatable.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

All STD test was negative. That includes the swab for clamydia and gonorrhoea. This was a bit of a disappointment, because I was really hoping to pin-point this stupid sore throat. My armpit lymph nodes are still swollen - I am taking anti inflammatories for them, and crossing my fingers.

My HIV paranoia is a lot better. It's like keeping a balance - I don't have to allow myself to tip over and loose my balance. I am not consciously worried about it, but I still feel very uneasy about it.

It's quite possible that my mental state caused my body to get overworked with stress, and simple symptoms managed to stay for a long time.

Since this is a forum on HIV (and a very important one, I would say), I will post my 6 week test results (and we all know what they will be) and then my 12 week ones.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Still a bit restless. My armpit lymph nodes got bigger, the doctor can't explain it. Sore throat is getting better.I had my full STD screening back. Not sure you wanna hear it, this is a HIV forum rather than STD... but here we go:

Yay.However, since all of my values are normal, the lab doctor told me that *probably* all of them were there in the first place. BUT, he didn't seem particularly skilled (he's a "lab doctor", whatever they are).

Geee... I knew I had genital herpes. However, I seem to be quite a repository of viruses etc.

While I finally get convinced that I don't have HIV, my brain freaks out and thinks "what if you do?". Right now, writing to the forum, I feel silly - of course I don't have it. But, thinking of the test ("unnecessary test", "cut the drama"), I still freak out. Of course, I had to get a bloody sore throat and swollen armpits right now, persistently... bah. OK, it doesn't "look" like ARS. But ARS doesn't look like anything, it's always different...

Before now, I had no idea STDs were such a serious issue. Being monogamous shields you from all of this stuff.And it really is scary.

I am trying to keep calm; when I start going down the "worried well" spiral, I come back here and read your posts. It's especially good being told off :-PWhat concerns me, is that I still have the same bloody sore throat, and my armpits are still sore and very swollen. I do _not_ poke them (the thought of doing it gives me the shivers).

I am not even going to search the Internet about this one - I would go down yet another spiral. So... is it possible that I got syphilis by giving cunnilingus? I don't have a fever, fatigue, diarrhoea... nothing. Just sore enlarged non-tumor lymph nodes (checked with ultrasounds) and a sore throat... :-/

It's especially bad because I do manage to forget about the HIV/STD business, but then I swollow, my armpit ache, and... well, I start thinking about me flossing before the little "incident", her having a sore throat, the risk being 1:20000 but never the less being there, my cancer having similar statistical odds, etc.

...

On a separate note, I read on the forum a comment by Ann, about living 3 months at a time, waiting for your blood work. My goodness, it sounds like my 3 monthly cancer checkups, which actually involve a CT scan with contrast that makes me sick for 2 days (and yes, NOTHING like HIV medications).I don't know if this helps you at all; I think you guys have it harder than most cancer patients, psychologically (stigma, infection fear, etc.) and physically (most chemo I know about has similar side effects, but hey, at least when it's over, it's over).I really look up to you.

...

On a separate note, I will always, consistently donate both to cancer and HIV research from now on. It's a little stupid that I had to have cancer and "fear-of-HIV" to do it. But I guess nobody is perfect. Before now, I had no idea medications had so many side effects, and patients had such a hard life.

Keep working with your doctor. Ask him the questions you are asking us. Ask about the mono again, have your throat swabbed again (sometimes throat swabs miss the infection). Whatever is going on, it's nothing to do with hiv.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Still sore throat. Will have my 7 weeks 4th generation test results in 40 minutes.Nono of the labs here to troat swab for Mono. My throat is still sore.I repeat to myself:"Yeah, ok, let us know when you get your completely unneccessary six and twelve week negative results. You didn't have a risk of hiv infection. You are hiv negative. (Ann)"