Thursday, August 04, 2005

Delerium on Draught

The Fantasy

my head fits under his chin when he's hugging me...his arms wrap completely around me...he makes me laugh honestly, sincerely and with my whole body...he cheers me up with snickerdoodles, because he knows those are my favorite...he burns water, but makes a perfect steak...he thinks i'm sexy out of the shower even with the soggy hair and the mascara smudged...i never hear him raise his voice except to hail a taxi...he brings me coffee in bed for my hangover...and will hold my hair back the night before...he wants to paint my toenails...he hides post-its in strategic places that i wouldn't normally be looking...he loves my dog...he walks my dog when its raining...he drags me out in the rain in my best suit, but its ok, because he's taking me shopping...he knows i hate roses [plural], but love sunflowers...he lets me nervously ramble on and keeps up...he understands my phobias...he finds me odd...

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he pulls my pigtails...he will publicly humilate himself to show me he's sorry for hurting me...he thinks about me when i'm not around...he doesn't laugh at my paralysis at the site of a spider and he understands i don't want it dead, just gone...he rubs my neck without me asking...he plays with my hair until i fall asleep in his lap...he can make a perfect over-medium egg...he doesn't care my family lives in boonies and are hayseeds, but good people...he encourages me...he can stare into the ocean and is perfectly comfortable not saying a word for quite some time, but he's holding my hand...he'll let me bring my blowdryer camping...he thinks i sing like a nightingale, or atleast he tells me that...he puts my hands in his pockets when its cold...he inspires me...he comfortable and confident in his own skin...he introduces me with adjectives...he has his own, orignal fears and he tells me about them because he knows i will laugh about it, and he's ok with that because he laughs at mine...he sees the world for what he can take from it, not with what he has to deal with...he wanted me because i inspired him to be a better man...he's attracted to me...he courts me...his jealousy is complimentary, not evasive...he's had peanut-butter and syrup on toast too...he thinks sinatra was one kewl kat and so is snoop...he appreciates art not conventionally, but because he wonders what inspired the artist...his thoughts are his own and not insinuations of popular culture...he's open to the big brother theory...he makes up stupid rhymes...he'll walk with me in the 'garden'...even if its not so, he makes me the most beautiful girl in the room, and i believe him...he's shy and proper around my parents and esp. my grandmother...he tells my kids to be nice to me...he loves "breakfast" in bed...he's a good tipper...he holds my face when he kisses me...he's ok with only hand holding, popcorn and movie...he never misses "date night"...he makes reservations for a table at a hole in wall, because its 'our table'...his favorite shirt becomes my pj's...he lets me cheat at cards, but only because i didn't call him out for it first...he loves roller coasters...he protects my honor passive aggressively...thunderstorms make him horny...he's spontaneous...his proudest moments involve his family...he sees music...he gets what he can from people, not in the materialistic sense - but for what he learns from them...he loves raw oysters and dirty martinis...he'll take a mental health day with me on a rainy day...he can surprise me...he tells the worst, dummest, dry jokes...his senior superlative was class clown and he was on the chess team...he remembers the shoes i wore on our first date...he tells me secrets...we have a secret code...he opens my doors and warms up my car...my hands fit inside his...we can share a whole pie in the tin...we have inside jokes and no one else notices them...he flirts with the cocktail for no other purpose than to laugh at me giving him shit for it...he knows what superhero, powerpuff girl and "friend" i am...he calls me by my entire name...he loves parades...he gets me.

The Reality

first date, he's charming in a way that's unique and not put on...he invites you back to his house, and ask you to stay under the guise of its just not safe for you to drive...you realize how loud he snores...he remembers to pick up his dry cleaning, but forgets historical dates that have to do with your relationship and your birthday...he doesn't bring you coffee in bed anymore, but he wakes you up all sweet and then suggests maybe you can get up and start the coffe pot?...he farts, and "safety" replaces any kind of manners about it...he locks the dog out of the room so he doens't have to get up and let it out for you, but the whining gets you up anyway...he calls you names when he's drunk because you wouldn't let him kick the guys ass who, with only good intentions, wanted to know if you needed any help with getting the "drunk guy" out of the bar?...he tells his friends about your sex life, when you're standing there...he loves you, but it's habitual and most times convenient...he doesn't call "after"...he offered to pay for it, paid for it, but doesn't let you forget it...he cries when you threaten to leave for the night, but not when you threaten to leave for good...he hates your ex-es but has his on speed dial...he's late...he says he fu**ed her to get over you...he doesn't want you, but no one else can have you either...he doens't care if you cry...he's late...he doens't compliment you, unless he's impressing your friends...he hurts you...he goes missing...he lies to you...he doens't get you.