In Case Of Rapture, This Doghouse Will Be Unmanned

Tim Stevens linked to a great website over on his blog today, promoting a company run by atheists who promise to take care of your pet once Jesus comes back.

No kidding.

Go read Tim’s post first, then come back here. I’ll be waiting. (Unless of course Jesus beats you to me.)

So here are my questions:

What if all dogs do go to heaven? Will the atheistic employees just show up to a Tim LaHaye / Jerry Jenkins – inspired scene where my dog has vanished, leaving behind only her collar and the little chip thing under her skin? Do they keep my 110 bucks? Gasp! Do they keep the collar?!?

If some dogs go to heaven, would that mean…? Yes friends, if there is a pet heaven, there must be a pet hell. And I know animals who would have made the cut. My former dog Grace, for one. She was an idiot. There’s no way she could have understood her need for salvation. And the cat of our former Children’s Director, Angie. She was the Antichrist (Angie’s cat, not Angie herself).

What if your pet is a white horse? Won’t you need him later on, according to Rev. 19:14? And if the atheists are holding on to your white horse, will they let you have it back? Especially if you’re carrying a sword?

Can we make a movie about this starring Lou Gossett, Jr.? He’s in all the other cheesy rapture films. I’m just sayin.’