The road trip really was that bad

The Twins' hitters were just as bad as you thought they were on their just-concluded road trip.

Per the Twins' press box notes, here are some of their performances in Anaheim and Seattle:

-Joe Mauer: 1-for-17, 1 RBI.

-Josh Willingham: 1-for-18

-Danny Valencia: 2-for-17, 1 RBI

-Denard Span (MVP?): 5-for-24

-Trevor Plouffe: 0-for-8

-Chris Parmalee: 1-for-19

-Alexi Casilla: 4-for-21,1 RBI

-Jamey Carroll: 3-for-21

Remember when Joe Mauer not playing was the Twins' biggest problem?

Well now he plays every day and he's not making an impact. He's hitting .278 with one homer in 97 at-bats. He gets on base, but that's not of much use in a lineup where nobody can drive him in.

With Justin Morneau on the disabled list, there are only two active Twins with more than one home run: Willingham with 5 and Ryan Doumit with 3, and he had one before hitting two yesterday.

Today the Twins will turn to Brian Dozier for a boost. I just hope Ron Gardenhire lets Dozier get comfortable near the bottom of the order. Dozier should eventually be a good big-leaguer, but putting him in the second spot in the batting order would be a bit much for a rookie right now.

Anyway, Mauer is a prototypical No. 2 hitter, and batting him third doesn't do him or the lineup any favors. He doesn't hit for power or drive in runs.

On to the Twins' starting pitchers:

They're 4-16, and their four wins is the fewest by a starting staff in the big leagues. The starting staff has allowed the most runs (111), most home runs (29), and second-most hits (185) in the big leagues. They have the fewest strikeouts (74) and highest ERA (6.73). Opponents are hitting .322 against Twins starters. Again, that's the worst in baseball. (Source: Twins pregame notes)

Tonight, the Twins face Jered Weaver, who pitched a no-hitter against the Twins in his last start.

One sidelight: The Twins committed zero errors on their 1-5 road trip.

Jim Souhan analyzes the local sports scene and advises you to never take his betting advice. He likes old guitars and old music, never eats press box hot dogs.