I know she's already an adult and since the lifting of love ban and the graduation, it's perfectly fine for her to date.

But still, I cannot help but feel a slight pain when I heard the news. Maybe it was the fact that I had always been infatuated with her, how much I only look at her whenever there's a new mv, how I kind of selfishly think that atsumina is real and that by the time they got older, they will end up marry each other in the end.

It's stupid I know. Of course, I already prepared myself. I know that someday Takamina will date, marry and can even one day have kids with the future lucky bastard. I was hoping it would be TM Revolution but I was wrong once again. I knew this would happen.

I knew but...

I never realized how fast it will all be.

and now I cannot seem to sleep on my bed unless I put it all into words and share it.

So now I will cry, I will curse, I will lie in my bed and think

and then in the future, maybe a week from now, I will smile and tell Takamina despite the fact that I cannot tell her in person that I'm happy for her and I wish her happiness in the future.

Because she is not an idol anymore that we can freely fantasize about. She's a mature, free woman and I will proudly look at her back someday and think to myself,

"Look how far she had gotten."

I will cry today and in the future, I'm sure I will also mature and stop being addicted to idols.

but I will never stop loving Takahashi Minami despite the fact that I never really got to know the real her.