Do you like to be teased? Does it arouse you to be made to wait for that sweet moment of release? Or would you rather do the teasing, prolonging your seduction to make the object of your desire crazy with lust for you? What is it that can make the art of “tease and denial” so irresistible, it’s as if it weaves a magic spell around its helpless, happy victim?

Everyone needs a little tease, at least sometimes. Men need to be teased because it makes them slow down. Women need to be teased because it makes us come around. Teasing puts the pizzazz and mystery into sex. Otherwise, we’d just be rutting animals. Even animals tease! Look at the stop-start, pounce-retreat mating dances of birds, cats, apes, even snakes.

A good tease is erotic but indirect, slowly building up to total seduction and surrender. As that consummate strip tease artist Gypsy Rose Lee once said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.” A great tease has all the time in the world. And with a great tease, you never know if you’re going to get the gold you’re going for. You might, but then again you might not. You have to be flexible with a tease. You have to remember the Golden Rule of Tease: You never know. The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned. You have to be willing to go with the tease, please…

Teasing wears a variety of masks and hats. There is the innocent tease who doesn’t even know she’s a tease, and is all the more devastating for it. There’s the experienced tease who spins her webs of seduction with great skill and sensitivity. I say “her” because, though men can tease too, teasing is a feminine wile. It is manipulative and circuitous, womanly attributes. Some teasing is spontaneous, light as a feather. Some teasing is calculated, steeped in the art of salacious sorcery. Some teasing is loving and sweet, almost nurturing, like tickling a baby. Some teasing is playful and charming, dazzling and devastatingly witty. Some teasing is mean and nasty, even vicious and cruel. Teasing can also be humiliating and torturous. And some teasing really hurts. Rapes, murders, even MASS murders have been committed by people—even children–who say they did it because they were teased. Teasing can be dangerous. It can be quite harmless too, of course. That is why we say “I’m just teasing!” to insist we’re harmless. But it is the dangerous aspects of teasing that make it erotic. That, and the sensuous nature of revealing something slowly, gradually, then maybe not at all, then maybe a little more. It is too dangerous to show more. Too hot to handle. That is the Art of the Tease.

One of the greatest teases of history, believe it or not, is Queen Esther of the Bible. The shrewd and seductive Esther of Shushan, in what is now Iran, teased the great and powerful Persian King Ahasuerus into such an erotic frenzy that he freed her people from genocide. Queen Cleopatra of Egypt was also a great tease; it was her extraordinary teasing ability that kept the Romans guessing and ultimately kept Egypt governed by its own people (that is, herself) until her death.

In modern times, teasing is the stuff of stars, Marilyn Monroe being the most legendary tease. Bettie Page, sometimes called the Dark Marilyn, was also a most delicious tease. Now Dita Von Teese continues the legacy of the tease. I was privileged to have Bettie Page as a guest on my show a few years ago–with Dita (when she was an 18-year-old Heather Sweet) in my studio audience! Though Bettie spoke with me on the air for over an hour, she refused to show her face. What a tease. She said she wanted us to think of her the way she was, forever young and beautiful; she wanted control of her image.

And, yes, teasing is about control. Once you lose control, you’re not teasing anymore. It’s tough to tease when you’re in mid-orgasm. Once the orgasm is on, the tease is over….unless you’re a really good tease.

Does all this talk about teasing make you yearn to be teased?

Call the telephone sex therapists of The Dr. Susan Block Institute for Tease and Denial Phone Sex Therapy. Whether you’re looking to be teased yourself by one of our sweet, charming, experienced, degreed and/or deliciously cruel sex therapists, if you’re in need of some teasing advice to seduce that someone you’ve been wanting for a while, or if you want to better understand, explore, express, limit and/or control your desire for tease and denial, we’re here for you 27/7. We are the world’s foremost experts in the fine art of tease and denial. Call now at 213.291.9497.

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