Tag Archives: Dr. Kaherine T. Kelly

Do you embrace the times when you feel depressed? Does sadness bring you down or pump you up? Can anger be a good thing? Is anxiety your friend or your foe?

Most people don’t like emotions. They avoid them, stuff them down, and feel they make us weak when they arise. However, emotions are the most definable part of the human condition. While some animals do express some feeling, human beings have the privilege of experiencing the widest array of emotion. We are also the most able to observe and process our emotions, regardless of whether we view that as a blessing or curse.

Stop to think for a moment about how emotions have changed your life. Would you have learned whatever you were supposed to learn without them? Would you have known that something was amiss if you didn’t experience the discomfort? How did your emotions alert you to something that needed your attention?

Emotions help us to evolve. They are the cue that something is misaligned in our lives and the alert that something needs our attention. Without emotion we would not grow.

Embedded in our emotions are the lessons of life—the “karmic” opportunities to evolve. Although many view emotions simply as a chemical imbalance, their impact for growth goes far deeper. Karma is the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding fate for our future as well. In other words, when explored, many people can see how they have grown from the challenges they have experienced in life. Their “karma” is expressed and stimulated by their emotion(s), and once the lesson is learned and a new course of action is taken, the feeling dissipates. Peace and contentment inevitably follow.

In my therapy practice, I’m constantly asking, “What do you think you are supposed to learn from this experience?” While some resist the idea that something good can come from their situation, they soon realize that there is a great deal of empowerment in being able to consciously consider their circumstances, which allows them to heal and, better yet, evolve. Once a person makes sense of their predicament, both their worrisome thoughts and emotions are put to rest. This is conscious evolution.

How often do you dismiss your emotions? How have you avoided them? Do you allow your soul the time necessary to explore what the message might be behind your discomfort?

Soul Health is all about aligning each branch of your life in order to create and experience radiant living. Emotions are simply a cue to act on something that is getting in the way of your sense of peace and balance. Consider spending a few minutes each day assessing your emotions to help you identify what might need some attention in your life. This investment of time will pay dividends in your ability to evolve in such a way that helps you reach your highest potential. In doing this, you will resolve any karma that may be urging you to grow and you will “graduate” to the next level of enjoying the human condition. In this way, emotions are just the cue—you are the agent of change.

(Taken from Chapter 4 of Soul Health: Aligning with Spirit for Radiant Living)

Reaching radical consciousness of emotions means you are mastering the language of your soul. You have earned your advanced degree in understanding the human condition and consciously committing to your evolution. Strangely enough, once you get the hang of it, the work not only becomes easier, but also more light-hearted and amusing along the way. You learn to laugh with your soul each time you see that you are reacting to your old habits of the human condition. You give yourself a break and move through difficult emotions much more quickly and easily.

Which do you want—to heal a wound or to evolve beyond it? Even the question elicits a radiant response! There is something inexplicably exciting about feeling like you can outgrow your old skin. There is an energy behind it—a momentum—that once begun doesn’t want to stop. This is the soul’s radiance urging you toward your evolution.

Emotions carry energy. And because everything around us consists of energy at the most basic level, it stands to reason that we are most attracted to things that make us feel light. Moths to a flame are drawn to an external light they seek as their own, and die in the pursuit of reaching it. We, however, are able to pursue our inner light, and our emotions are nothing more than a signal pointing the way to find it. But unfortunately, we get mired in the human condition and buried in our emotions instead of using them to find and return to our inner radiance. We all know people who emit a simple yet desirable brightness or light. Much like the moth, we are instinctively drawn to these individuals and want to catch a bit of what they seem to have and that which we seem to lack. This light is for our taking, but we must find it within ourselves.

In essence, we are all beings of light.We are meant to emit brighter and brighter radiance if we allow ourselves. This happens only if we evolve, and we evolve only if we use the voice of our soul to do so. If we do not, our lights dim and we just fizzle out. There is no more light and no sign of growth.

(Taken from Chapter 1 of Soul Health: Aligning With Spirit for Radiant Living)

All the evolution we know of proceeds from the vague to the definite. ~ Charles Sanders Peirce

Numerous studies illustrate the importance of spiritual and religious beliefs in recovering from various health problems. But little is written concerning how our soul interacts with—or inspires—our well-being to create overall wholeness. Even less is written about our soul’s most natural state—its evolution.

In working with thousands of clients and workshop attendees, I have come to believe that there is a complex interplay between our overall well-being and the inspiration of our soul. This interplay represents the interaction between our ways of dealing with the human condition (the everyday struggles we encounter and our reactions to them) and our deepest and wisest core. Without an understanding of this complex interplay, not only do our human lives remain unbalanced, but our souls simply cannot fully evolve.

Unlike general wellness models, the Soul Health Model emphasizes the complex and key interplay between our human condition and our soul, not just a basic approach to life balance. Because our soul’s evolution is dependent on both our life balance and a conscious awareness of our soul’s influence, it is the combination of these forces that is unique to this model.

In the Soul Health Model, the soul is depicted as the life force within an ever-evolving tree. Much like the growth of an actual tree, which depends on sunlight, clean water, and air, our soul’s evolution depends on the health of the elements available to it and only thrives when the essentials of our existence are balanced and fulfilled. In the model, these elements represent the various aspects of our human condition—the health of our everyday life. Therefore, in order for an individual’s soul to reach unimpeded growth, the individual must consciously maintain this healthy balance. This is not an easy feat given how persistently the issues of daily life get in the way. When we are overwhelmed, it is less and less likely that we will hear our soul. However, it is through physical, emotional, and other forms of dis-ease or lack of contentedness that our soul attempts to get our attention—to inspire us—in order to bring us back into balance and restore a sense of overall wholeness. Only then can our soul continue to evolve.

Friendship is priceless when it comes to creating soul health. Numerous studies indicate how physical health is improved by having close relationships with even just a few people. While biological family members may play key roles in our day-to-day lives, it is often our entire social network, or “soul family”, that brings us the most comfort and joy.

Although friends have always been important to me, it wasn’t until my sophomore year in college that I came to understand the different roles that they play—and these distinctions have stuck with me ever since. At the time, I never really considered that different types of friendships existed, but since then many authors have offered descriptions that I now use with others to help them understand these key roles.

In their book Rethinking Friendship, authors Liz Spencer and Ray Pahl provide the following types of friendly connections:

Associates—those who share common activities like hobbies and sports;

Useful Contacts—those who share information and advice whether for career or other purposes;

Favor Friends—those who help each other in a functional, but not an emotional manner;

Helpmates—friends who offer both favors and fun but little emotional support;

Comforters—similar to helpmates, but with some emotional support;

Confidants—those who share personal information with each other but aren’t always in a position to offer practical help (i.e., if they live far away);

Soul Mates—those who display all of the elements listed above.

Although different people might define friendships in different ways, the common denominator is that friends help us to feel that we are not alone in life. In fact, many feel as if their friends are just as—or more important—in defining who they are as an individual than any other relationship. In this way, our friends become part of our “soul family”, influencing, supporting, and teaching us in ways that we cannot deny the essential roles that they play. As Aristotle says, “A true friend is one soul in two bodies”, which indicates the power of having a close connection with another human being.

The social branch of soul health emphasizes the need to have others in our lives. These soul-to-soul relationships ensure that we travel through life with like-minded others, enhancing each other’s experiences as we grow and evolve. In urging others to build strong relations, I emphasize the following three words:

Connectivity—identifying and taking part in mutually appreciated bonding activities, which enhance the connection between one soul and another;

Intentionality—taking steps to deliberately and purposefully interact with one another; and

“Explicicity” (yes, I know that’s not an actual word…)—to engage in clear and direct communication with one another to educate them about your needs, interests, and desires.

Like all relationships, friendships take work. By consciously creating your connections with regard to aligning with your own soul health, you will invite wonderful souls into your life to share with you the many gifts that these relations can bring.

What do you do to consciously connect with others? Who do you invite into your soul group?