Volume 25

BBW Insider – Boy Farms Exclusive

A new phenomenon is sweeping the nation – boy farms! Up and down the country, new boy farms are popping up, often managed by more or less ordinary people as a hobby. BBW News decided to get an inside look into one of those places, and Mr. Burt LeToy graciously offered to open his doors for us.

When I arrived at the LeToy farm, I was a bit confused at first because I was expecting to see a – well, a farm. Instead Burt welcomed me into his modest suburban home and led me down a flight of stairs into his basement where he unlocked the three locks on a sturdy oaken door. I was surprised about this level of security, but Burt explained to me that he’d had some problems with a ‘bunch of dirty poachers’, as he called them, who apparently were hiding in some shack in the outback.

The entry area of the basement was clean and painted in bright rainbow colors. I felt like I was going through airport security when Burt asked me to take off my shoes and to hand over all my electronic devices, including my camera. So much for providing our readers some nice pictures.

I was surprised by the size of the place, because it appeared to be much bigger on the inside. I was also surprised by the temperature. There was an almost tropical heat down here, even though it was freezing and snowing outside. Burt’s heating bill must be enormous if he kept the temperature this high all the time. We walked deeper into the basement (I couldn’t help but think of it as a dungeon). The walls of the hallway were lined with warm coats, hanging from pegs. “For when I take them for a walk,” Burt explained to me.

Eventually we entered a large room that was part living room, part play room, and part gym. I saw a pool table, a table football game, a ping pong table, a couple of dart boards and several video game systems. Plenty of toys to keep the boys busy. Comfortable couches and beanbag chairs gave the room a very cozy feeling. There were other doors that appeared to lead to several dormitories and bathrooms.

Boys were running all over the place, most of them wearing short shorts and little else. Not surprising, in this heat. When Burt blew a whistle, all the boys came running over and lined up in front of us. I held out my hand to say hello to the first boy in line, but Burt slapped my fingers and snapped at me, “No touching!” The guy was starting to creep me out a little!

The boys told me how much they liked being here on the farm, where they could frolic and play with each other. They especially liked to wrestle. I noticed that there were several cameras focused on the wrestling mat, and there was a comfortable armchair from where Burt liked to watch them. I wasn’t sure what he needed the large box of tissues for that was sitting on a table right next to the chair, but maybe he had allergies.

The kitchen area was very interesting too. One wall was completely covered with takeout menus, though there was no phone, only an intercom. “We cannot call out from here,” one of the boys explained, “Mr. Burt calls in our orders from upstairs.” There were plenty of fruits and vegetables too, especially bananas, cucumbers, carrots and zucchinis, so at least they weren’t living entirely on fast food.

Another thing I noticed was that all the boys were wearing the same kind of ankle bracelets. When I asked one of the boys about it, he told me, “Mr. Burt is very protective of us; he doesn’t want us to get lost. I guess some of the guys tried to run away once, but they are locked in the attic now. I don’t know what …”

“CHASE!” Burt yelled, shoving the boy away. “Ok, I think you’ve seen enough, the tour is over!” He grabbed my arm and quickly led me back to the exit. I barely had time to wave good bye to the boys. Back in the entry area, Burt impatiently tapped his foot while I put my shoes back on. He slammed the heavy door shut and just like that, my visit to the farm was over.

“So, can I see this attic the boy was talking about too?” I asked.

“NO!” Burt shrieked. “You can’t have them, they’re all mine! Now get out!”

Burt LeToy sure was a strange guy. Nevertheless, boyfarming seemed to be a very interesting hobby. I was definitely thinking about starting a farm of my own. Though I definitely would not ask Burt if he could help me out with some boys to get me started!