just watching the clouds…

when i was little, the whole family would go over to my grandmaw’s house for Easter. if i didn’t get to see my cousins all year, i knew they’d be there on easter. she’d have her entire table covered in dishes of homemade food. it was all so good, and then we’d sit around stuffed or go outside to play some of our meal off. she died several years ago, and since my immediate family doesn’t have any children, we don’t do anything for Easter. this year, i had planned to do a big meal like my grandmaw used to, but with jamie gone, i just wasn’t in the mood. luckily, my cousins from germany came to visit, and i invited them and their little 2 year old son to stay over the weekend. i didn’t do a big meal, but we did have a yummy chicken taco soup and cheese cake pie with pineapple. we hid plastic eggs with candy and money inside for Lenny, because he’s never done an Easter egg hunt before. he had a ball finding the eggs as we tried to tell him in English where they were and his parents translated. we came inside and he wanted to open each egg (there were over 30 of them!), and he would exclaim, “Auf!” which means open, when his little hands couldn’t hope them. he learned when he saw quarters or dollars to say, “Money!” it was really cute. i think i learned more German words this weekend than he learned English words. it was nice to have them and my parents over.

the next day, we headed over to the Cotton District Arts Festival, and I ran the Old Cotton Mill 5K. it was awesome weather for a race, and i came in at a decent time considering that i have barely run any this month because work has been so busy. after looking around for a while, we ate lunch at Grumpy’s and headed to Tupelo to do some shopping. my cousins love going to the mall while they’re here. my favorite part of the day was playing with Lenny in Barnes and Noble. we played hide and seek with my mom and his papa. and if i got tired and stopped hiding, Lenny would run away from me for about 15 feet, turn around as though i’d just found him, and come squealing to me to tickle and hug him. he is a definite heart-stealer! i will miss him until next year.

i concluded my Easter weekend by going to sunrise service at Tomnolen Baptist. i missed Jamie not being beside me, but i still enjoyed the service. we had a big, delicious breakfast in the activity building afterward, and i went home and slept for several more hours. the weekend had worn me out but in a very good way :o)

I named this blog after a Kate Voegele song that I love, “Sweet Silver Lining.” Check out the lyrics below. I love what this song says. I had come across it around the same time that I started the blog, and I felt a connection with the lyrics. Although the writer admits to some weakness and fear, to “just surviving,” she reveals that her strength comes from her hope. There is a reason for everything that happens, and if you continue to look for the silver lining peeking out along the edges of the dark cloud above, you’ll eventually see the sunshine. I love that.

Sweet Silver Lining
Songwriter: Kate Elizabeth Voegele

I’m going home Downhearted and hoping I’m close to some new beginning I know There’s a reason for everything That comes and goes

But so many people are looking to me To be strong and to fight But I’m just surviving I may be weak but I’m never defeated And I’ll keep believing In clouds with that sweet silver lining

Most days I try my best to put on a brave face But inside My bones are cold and my heart breaks But all the while Something’s keeping me safe And alive

But so many people are looking to me To be strong and to fight But I’m just surviving I may be weak but I’m never defeated And I’ll keep believing In clouds with that sweet silver lining

And I wont give up like this I will be given strength And now that I’ve found it Oh, nothing can take that away

But so many people are looking to me To be strong and to fight But I’m just surviving And I may be weak but I’m never defeated And I’ll keep believing

Oh so many people are looking to me To be strong and to fight But I’m just surviving I may be weak but I’m never defeated And I’ll keep believing In clouds with that sweet silver lining, sweet silver lining

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.” ~Anonymous

What is the one thing you’ll never change about yourself? What is the one thing you would change about yourself if you could?

One thing I hope I’ll never change about myself is to be able to find the humor in just about any situation, good or bad. This is something I got from my mom, and it comes in handy, especially in the difficult situations. I also hope that my creativity never wanes. I love to make beautiful things and write and sing. My creative side makes me feel more unique than anything else.

I guess I am a work in progress, because there are lots of things I’d change about myself. I’d love to stop being a procrastinator. I put everything off, and I think I’d be a generally happier person if I didn’t have this tendency. I also tend to hold people to really high standards, and although that can be a positive in many situations, it also gets me in trouble sometimes, because I get really frustrated when people don’t live up to what I think they should.

I read somewhere today that only 3% of those who set goals actually achieve them. That’s depressing, so much so that I wonder if it’s actually true. I mean, how did they come up with this statistic anyway? And what makes the other 97% of goal setters fail? I also heard a quote on the radio the other day that went something like, ‘If you never change anything about yourself, you’ll never change.’ It’s easy to keep doing the same things day in and day out and being the same old you day in and day out. What you have to ask yourself is, are you happy being you and never changing anything about yourself ever again for the rest of your life? If the answer is yes, then I commend you for making yourself into the person you wanted to be. You must be one of the 3%! If you aren’t happy with yourself, then work on changing one little thing. Baby steps. We don’t have to be unhappy in this life. Don’t settle for mediocrity. Figure out what you think will make you happy with yourself and work diligently to accomplish that goal.

Or you can sit back, let life pass you by, moan and groan and lament your misery, and never change a single thing for the better. The choice is yours to make. It’s your life. How will you live it?

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~Maria Robinson