by TapatiTemple DeitiesIn January of 1977 Mike and I were preparing to ask for initiation. We were carefully composing letters to Srila Prabhupada to indicate that we understood the commitment we were making and hoped that he would accept us as disciples. Mike shaved his head, something he’d avoided up until that point. He knew he would not get a recommendation for initiation from the temple authorities if he kept his hair shoulder length. Embarrassed, he wore a cap over his head until it grew out again. We were more strictly abstaining from sex as well, trying to genuinely follow the instructions we had received from Srila Prabhupada.My initiation letter is dated February 2nd, 1977. W … [Read more...]

by TapatiRadha and Krishna My 18th birthday came and went in December. We didn’t celebrate birthdays, although I’d made a cake for Mike’s birthday in September. I was disappointed that he did nothing for mine. I was used to celebrating it every year in some way.I began to talk about having a baby. It seemed like many of the women were having babies in New Dwaraka and the more time I spent with moms, the more I wanted a baby of my own. While there was no expectation that we would have lots of children, having children was the point of being householders. We were supposed to raise good devotee children, children who would be even more devoted than we were because they wanted to take birth … [Read more...]

by TapatiKiss me once again Don't you never, never, never say that we we're through Cause I ain't never, I ain't never I ain't never, no, no, loved a man The way that I, I love you--Ronnie Shannon (sung by Aretha Franklin)Sri Sri Rukmini-Dwarakadhish Once we arrived at my mom’s apartment, our relationship was on fast forward. We spent a few weeks together every waking moment, with my mom at work and the run of the place. We cooked together, with Mike teaching me a lot about Indian cooking. He’d been hanging out around the temple for years and had learned a lot. He was four years older than me and seemed wise beyond his years. Like me he was raised by a single mom and had previously had … [Read more...]

by TapatiChicago, Illinois Cold late night so long ago When I was not so strong you know A pretty man came to me Never seen eyes so blue I could not run away It seemed we’d seen each other in a dream It seemed like he knew me He looked right through me--HeartPreviously I described how I left the Chicago Hare Krishna temple. I was headed for my friend Suprabha’s apartment. I had her phone number and address written down, and knew which El stop to look for. When I got off the El I called Suprabha and she gave me directions to her dad’s home. She’d told me that he traveled a lot and wouldn’t be around.Suprabha greeted me warmly and we talked and cooked together and generally enjoyed hang … [Read more...]

by TapatiSrimati Kishori, a vision of Radharani, Krishna’s consort, during Her teen years, at the Chicago temple.Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream Really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far Behind me. –E.Y. Harburg, Wizard of OzOnce again I was on my way to St. Louis, grateful to be leaving my mother behind. I no longer considered whether or not I loved her; I just knew I had to get away.When I arrived at the bus station I was greeted by some male devotees in the polite, formal way that was common in ISKCON temples. We were not allowed to make conversation but rather had to keep to the ess … [Read more...]

by TapatiKeokuk is in the southeast corner of Iowa“All things must pass, none of life’s strings can last.” --George HarrisonPreviously I described how my mom and Aunt Gin came to take me back home to Keokuk, Iowa. I rode in the backseat, resigned, tearful, but filled with resentment. I had been assured by our temple president, Makanlal, that he would challenge my mother in court for custody. She didn’t know it yet but I hadn’t given up on going back to the temple for good.Back home I tried to pick up from where I left off in terms of doing my own worship, chanting my rounds, and staying focused on service to Krishna. I started writing my friends from the registered membership progra … [Read more...]

by TapatiJapa or rosary beads made from the wood of the Tulasi plant, a sacred relative of basil. Devotees of Krishna chant the mahamantra on each of 108 beads, keeping track with the “Krsna” or 109th bead. Each day a devotee is required to chant 16 rounds on the japamala, an ancient form of meditation.I was so relieved to be on the bus, headed for St. Louis. We passed through Hannibal, home of Mark Twain. I barely noticed because my mind was filled with memories of my brief visit to the temple back in November. I was also thinking back to the final few weeks with my mom, which had become very tense. In an effort to punish and isolate me, she had tried to yank my phone cord out of the w … [Read more...]

by TapatiKrishna and Arjuna on the battlefield, used on album by George HarrisonI can blame it all on George Harrison. I and my friend Carolyn were teenagers of the early 1970s, devoted to the music of the Beatles and of George Harrison in particular. We were also searching for the meaning of life, like countless others before us. We combed the library for information on various religions and encountered books like A Soul’s Journey by Peter Richelieu (unfortunately out of print now). We learned about reincarnation, astral bodies, karma, and transmigration of the soul. This all made so much more sense to us when we thought about human suffering, far more sense than the mysterious “I … [Read more...]

by Tapati Hare Krishna temple in St. Louis, 1975. Tapati is in the center front row in a blue print sari.When a friend referred me to the blog “No Longer Quivering,” she knew why I would resonate with the posts I found there. Like me, she had once belonged to the Hare Krishna Movement, though years after my own involvement. We immediately saw many parallels between the lives of Christian women following the Quiverfull teachings. Vyckie and Laura described their past lives in ways that sounded like many of the young Hare Krishna women of the seventies that I knew. I had the same “aha” moment as I’d had when I read Carolyn Jessop’s book Escape about the FLDS women in Colorado City, Ari … [Read more...]

Vyckie Garrison started No Longer Quivering to tell the story of her “escape” from the Quiverfull movement. Over time, NLQ has developed into a valuable resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle. Several more former QF adherents are now contributing their stories to NLQ and our collective voice makes these Quiverfull warnings impossible to dismiss or ignore.NLQ is a gathering place for women escaping and recovering from spiritual abuse.

GET PATHEOS NEWSLETTERS

Sign up for free newsletters and special offers

Get the Best of Patheos Newsletter Get the Spirituality Newsletter Get the No Longer Quivering Newsletter

Follow No Longer Quivering!

NEW!! The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption by Kathryn Joyce