One day, you meet this pretty girl. You like her and you exchange sweet nothings. You go out on a date and it looks like everything is working out…until she leaves you hanging.

Suddenly, you realize, “Tangina, naisahan na naman ako ng babae.”

You end up doubting yourself, wondering what it is that you did wrong. Then, after a couple of months of soul-searching and self-pity, it happens again.

Some guys move on and learn from their past mistakes. Others can’t handle the karumal-dumal na pangyayari, which is why they troubleshoot using the technology they have in hand. They become online stalkers, following the girl who dumped them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as quietly as they can, trying to solve a problem that exists only in their head.

Fap. Repeat.

Below are the 13 women who can make our lives a living hell. We will meet certain types of women in our lives who will either play with our feelings, use our bodies for their own pleasure, or if we’re lucky enough, love us for who we are. Here’s a guide for all you sawi sa pag-ibig guys out there so that the next time you meet a girl, you can judge her and be more madiskarte than a multi-level marketing agent!

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1) THE BILMOKO GIRL

She’s the girl who just sits there during a date and lets you pay the bill. Every. Single. Time. She’s also the type who says, “Pabili naman that bag,” just so she can flaunt it when lounging with her poser amigas or upload a photo of it on Instagram.

This girl loves money, especially if she knows you’re filthy rich. Try telling her that you’re having financial problems and she’ll try to get out of your relationship the soonest.

2) THE MASTER MANIPULATOR

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She gets what she wants by manipulating you into doing her bidding, whether it be through emotional blackmail or paawa effect. Either way, she knows her stuff and we guys fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

So what if you’re an engineer or a doctor? If you meet this girl and fall for her tricks, you’re about to become an uto-uto.

3) THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE

She’s so self-centered that she thinks all the planets revolve around her. Her motto in life is to please Me, Myself, and I.

So what if you look dugyot in a picture with her? If it doesn’t reveal her big shoulders and fat cheeks, she’s posting it on Facebook, end of conversation.