Over to the boys …

Magazine

Issue 43: Today, Tomorrow & Forever

Over to the boys …

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Thanks to the blokes over at Staggered, today we bring you five things that men absolutely love about weddings! Wonder if the lovely William will be one of these on Friday?

1) Finger buffets

The finger buffet is a timeless catering roulette. It’s not up everyone’s street, but few aspects of catering are quite as adventurous. Is there egg on that sandwich? Are those crisps mixed? Will the couple have gone the extra mile and have fresh bacon sandwiches brought out at about 9ish?

2) Underage Boozing

Usual booze legalities don’t apply at weddings. Most of us had our first secretive beer at a wedding and there’s nothing quite as heart-warming as seeing an early teenager being sick in a pot plant. A wedding wouldn’t be a wedding without at least a few first time hangovers – welcome to the club kids!

3) Bells Ringing

If you want the sound of England, just fire up a few church bells. There’s genuinely fewer more triumphant, happier sounds than the echo of Church bells. If you’re having a civil wedding get some bell sounds piped in.

4) Blokes Obtaining The Football Scores

The perils of a Saturday afternoon wedding are of course, the inevitable football clash. Brides, be wary of passed around phones, unexpectedly helpful trips to fetch stuff from the car and inappropriate whisperings and mood swings. Just don’t jump up and shout “Yes!” during the vows.

5) Hats

Sadly the hat has recently become a much-maligned accessory limited to teenage Goths, Sunday drivers and that one bloke in the village who wears a trilby. Fortunately, a wedding allows for plenty of hat madness, as approved by Cilla Black.

BONUS: Uncles

Uncles exist in a vague shadowy world where they flit forever in-between weddings and christenings. At these events they will talk traffic with anyone who strays near enough. Usually good for a round at some point, but will go wildly off-list with a wedding present that you really don’t know what it is.