Uncertainty scares me. I'm a planner by nature. I don't thrive off of last minute plans and I certainly don't love radical changes in life either. I love routine. It's comfortable. I like for people to tell me what I should do when I don't know, and I don't like to make those choices for myself.

It's easier that way...

But I know, growth doesn't happen when life is easy, and being comfortable is what sets us up for complacency. I certainly don't want to be complacent and if I've learned anything in the last 4 years, I realize that sometimes during the hardest times in life, I can look back and see how much God changed my heart towards Him during those moments I questioned Him most. Funny how that works, isn't it?!

So here's me being real.

Right where I'm at in this very moment

I believe and trust that God has a plan for my life.

I also know that in the last couple of years God has been stirring up something in my heart.

I feel called to Nursing and to care for people at their deepest point of need and to make a difference in the world and I thank God for the chance to have that platform to love others how He has loved me.

I also know that I have passions outside of Nursing that God has revealed to me over time, that continue to grow and become more of who I am everyday.

While this may not be something I get to do everyday of my life as a 'career', I can't help but believe God is forming and preparing my heart for those things in the future as only He has perfect timing for everything.

I don't know what God has for me.

I don't know what God is doing inside of me right now, and I feel like I am in the 'waiting room' if you will...waiting on God to make his direction clear.

I realize and know that my decisions do not only affect me, and for this I am grateful. He has blessed me with incredible people and I am blessed to have such great support and I'm incredibly thankful for a Godly man who supports and walks beside me.

But my biggest prayer during this season of life...is to simply be content right where I'm at.

I want to soak in all that God is doing in and around me, and I want to embrace every moment that I have this last year of Nursing school as only more changes are up ahead of me. I trust God to work in the hearts of those He needs to, and I believe and trust in His faithfulness to me during this time.

I worry about everything.

I don't want to worry about my next step, I want to trust and embrace this time.

As I learned when I was a little girl, but may it ring ever so true in my actions:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

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2 comments:

My dear friend, I'm so glad to see you learning this so early in your adult life. As someone who has spent a LOT of time in the waiting room (most of which, self-imposed) I can tell you that the greatest lesson was learning contentment during the waiting. God redeems that time. He honors that attitude. Focusing on Jesus and loving Him in the waiting makes the acting that much sweeter. :) You know, people who are unhappy where they are rarely become happy by getting what they want. When you learn that peace and joy (yes, learn), you step away from bitterness and struggle. It's amazing to see you say these things so early on, and I'm very proud of you. Keep growing, my dear. I love you.

You're so much stronger than you sometimes give yourself credit for. I'm so blessed to have been able to call you friend, and I know that you're going to do awesome things for Christ. You're in my prayers, and I love you very much. :)