Just Like Unicorns, Real Men Do Exist

So, I came back on a noticeable high after attending the TEDxWomen event in Washington, DC. But I also came back with the flu. Maybe it was the 46-hour round-trip travel time or the excitement I underwent for two solid days as I listened to the most impressive representatives discuss our world and the possibilities in it. Either way, I returned home sick as a dog.

My boyfriend picked me up from the train station where instantly I passed off my heavy luggage and slumped into the car seat. The last few days I have only experienced the occasional trip to the bathroom and once ventured downstairs to snag a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice. So, I thought I could use some fresh air after days indoors, on the brink of a stir-crazy attack. I was wrong. Too much, too soon I guess because I returned home 15 minutes later with a headache the size of my home state.

Now one of the challenges of living with your significant other is that you really are each other's everything. That being said, I was sitting in the living room when it dawned on me that nobody really teaches us the characteristics we need to look for when weighing long-term relationships. Sure we know we want someone who's kind, trustworthy, funny, and charming. But I've never had a class on relationships (why no one offers that in high school baffles me) or even a real sit-down with my parents (who are divorced) to say what works or even what doesn't work. So, the whole relationship journey has always been a trial-and-error method for me.

I recently had an epiphany, though, as I was curled up on the couch looking as pathetic as possible. I felt like my body hated me; my head hurt, I could barely swallow, and my muscles along with everything else sent pain waves throughout my body. I was a mess. And in the midst of all of this, my knight in shining armor (well in this case, sweat pants and a T-shirt) came in to ask me, “Have I told you today that I love you yet?” A sweet smile crept over my face as I shrugged and replied, “No, I don’t think so.” “Well, I do and on top of that, I have to admit that even though you don’t feel well, you sure look beautiful.” I mean really?! Who says that, right? But the reality is we all deserve to hear that.

I had to sift through a lot of guys in order to find one who is wonderful and patient, that takes as good care of me as my mom. A person who draws a bath for me when I’m sick, goes to the store to pick up cough drops, wakes up in the middle of the night because I’m not sleeping, makes me laugh when everything hurts, and even though I’ve been wearing the same thing for days, makes me feel beautiful.

All I’m saying is that real men do exist. Those fellas are out there, and yes, they are few and far between, but so are truly amazing women. You are worth someone taking really, really good care of you and please don’t settle for anything less. We’re told to seek out rich, handsome, and wealthy, but we should also seek out loyal, compassionate, hilarious, humble, selfless, thoughtful, and loving. Oh, and make sure you look for a guy who loves you back to life when you’re sick as a dog.

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I have a brilliant heart and a beautiful mind. I am me, a perfectly flawed, beautyFULL work in progress. I promise to lift other girls up, have their backs, and make it safe for them to be exactly who they are. I'm on a mission to raise the standards for how we treat each other, how we treat ourselves, and how we treat the world. Every time I look in the mirror I’ll remind myself that I’m not alone, that I’m beautiful, that my voice matters, and that I am enough.