We here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia see a parallel with Starbucks shutting down for three hours to re-train its employees, with the emergent/seeker movement in the church.Starbucks feels like it is losing its way, while we know that the emergent church has already lost its way.Starbucks is worried about the competition of McDonald’s and Dunkin Donuts, while the emergent church is worried about being part of the post-modern culture.Starbucks started serving breakfast and accommodating everyone, while the emerging church takes in everyone,while they are still sinning.

We here will not take three hours of to re-train, since we need no re-training.God has given us everything we need in the form of inerrant scripture that has been validated by various people including Ken Silva, John MacArthur, and the pyro-guys.Paul told us to pray without ceasing and that doesn’t mean to take three hours off, like the emergent church guys would do.We will stand on the street corners and preach how everyone who hears us is a sinner, especially those who would “call” themselves Christians, for they are the worst, and we won’t take three hours off.We will work the Way of the Master formula to perfection since it is the only approved way of evangelism and is taken straight from the approved versions of the most inerrant scriptures.We will not take three hours off.We have TRUTH on our side and so we can’t lose.Let those emergent “churches” take time off to train and learn new things, let them do new sermon series, let them have Starbucks coffee in their church, and let God rain down his fire to those wolves in sheep’s clothing.I don’t want to be anywhere around when God’s wrath comes down on those sinners, who think they are fine because they love everyone and follow Christ’s example, in the form of fire and sulfur.Many churches will be in flames on that day and pillars of salt will litter the landscape as these “Christians” look back on their homosexually loving churches.

We will not take three hours off because God shines his light on the defenders of his TRUTH, which could be compromised if we take three hours off.

Dude! This is a satire site!

Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.