“Baby On Board” Bumper Stickers Are The Enemy Of The American People

Here’s a thought experiment: how many drivers in the U.S. have seen a “Baby on Board” bumper sticker and have concluded “I am no longer going to crash into that car today, I will choose another vehicle with which to collide"?

These silly stickers are only good for one thing: stirring five to seven seconds of moderate frustration in drivers like myself who realize they have just been involuntarily thrust into a passive-aggressive lecture on their intent and driving skills.

And bad news: when I’m brewing on how much I hate dumb bumper stickers, it is unlikely that I’m paying much attention to the road. The Stewbaru weighs about two metric tons and neither of us want it in the hands of a distracted, moderately annoyed person.

We must shed our collective delusion and acknowledge that “Baby on Board” stickers do nothing but incur the disdain of every driver like myself capable of forming opinions on such trivial things.

Wake up, sheeples; we have enough babies on board. What do you say we make a little room for some critical thinking?