That there’s no such thing as “wrong”. Only what doesn’t work for you.

…

Even if it doesn’t work, it still hurts!

Okay, child. Let us then say it hurts. You let the words, or the pictures, or whatever is used, to hurt you. What are you going to do about it?

Well, adults may take action by reporting it to the authorities or whatever. But most of the time the victims are kids, teenagers. Most of them don’t tell adults about it. So what happens is they get really, really hurt. Depressed. Sometimes even commit suicide.

So who wins?

Who wins? The cyber bully. The cyber bully, of course.

Of course. That is the mindset now. That when someone has the power to hurt another, the course would usually be in favor of the one who has the power. Do you know why this person has this power?

Um…

Because you give him the power. You give him the power to hurt you. By acknowledging those words or those pictures, you are giving the bully the power to hurt you. And how do you acknowledge those words or those pictures?

Um…

By seeking revenge. You seek revenge by reporting it to the authorities. Do you know that you are also seeking revenge by letting those words hurt you? You are seeking revenge by letting it control your life. You are seeking revenge by taking your own life because you gave meaning to the words or pictures used by the cyber bully and you want him to feel sorry or regret for what he has done. That is how you acknowledge cyber bullies. You give them power by acknowledging what they are doing to you.

Then what do You want the victim to do. Just ignore it?

Yes.

No!

Yes. Do you remember that documentary about that day care centre and how they dealt with unruly children?

You mean the one where they ignored the child with a tantrum? Where, when he threw a plastic cup at one of the teachers, she simply ignored it?

Yes. Did not the child realise that he was wasting his energy throwing a tantrum and it was having no effect on anyone?

Yeah. After a while he managed to calm down.

Ignoring something that is meant to hurt you is a way of not acknowledging someone’s revenge on you. Cyber bullies’ objective is for you to react or to acknowledge their deed. Why give them that pleasure? Why give them that power? Take control of the situation by ignoring the deed. After a while, the bully will realise he is wasting his time. He will realise he has no power over you.

But didn’t You say that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference? So if I am indifferent to this cyber bully that means I don’t love him.

Indifferent is not feeling anything. Emotionless. Apathetic. Do you feel apathetic towards someone who is bullying you? Most likely you will know who this person is. This person is bullying you because there is something about you this person knows he can control. It would probably be something he finds lacking in himself. Once he finds that he is lacking this something in himself he will find a way for the other to regret having it. How will this person know what you have and this thing that is lacking in himself? Because, most likely, you know about each other. Each other’s truth. And when you know each other that means there is a certain relationship between the two of you. Most likely a relationship in the past or a soon to be relationship in the future. And when two persons are in a relationship there exists this thing called love. Love is the truth. You know about each other’s truth that is why there is love. So if you ignore a bully’s deed, you are not being indifferent as in apathetic, you are loving that person. You are ignoring his deed because you do not want him to have the power to hurt anyone. In this case, it would be you. Once you acknowledge the hurt he is doing to you, you are more or less ending the relationship. Why? Because you are not treating him as God would. God, the True God will ignore the hurt. And once you are not treating him as God, it is fear that exists in the relationship.

But what about that article that Lisa McCormack wrote about? This vice principal who uploaded a picture he took of a 6 year-old while shopping and made fun of it. It cost him his job. It caused quite a furore. That 6 year-old definitely did not know that man. They didn’t have a relationship. They were simply strangers who happen to be in the same place.

Tell Me–what would have happened if the words and the picture he posted were totally ignored. As in people saw it and did not react to it. Do you think it would still have caused a furore?

No, I don’t think so. The family of the little girl would probably have not even known about it.

Exactly. That man may not have been in a relationship with that little girl but he had relationships with others who reacted to his deed. You said it cost him his job. He must be working for someone. And he has a relationship with that someone, did he not? And his employer must have some kind of relationship with another that may have told her or him about the deed that caused the furore. And this other has a relationship, or shall we say, a connection, with another that heard about or saw the deed. And it goes on and on. His deed caused a chain reaction within connections between people who did not ignore his misdeed. There must be a disconnection somewhere along the way so that the misdeed does not give power to the culprit. Do not give power means do not give meaning to words or pictures used by cyber bullies. Do not give power means to not seek revenge of the misdeeds of cyber bullies. Do not seek revenge means to treat the cyber bully as God. God does not get hurt or damaged in any way no matter what hurting words you throw at God.

Man! We’ve used so many words to discuss cyber bullying but it all boils down to just two words, isn’t it?