welcome back ladies and gents to another edition of the BEST DAMN MAG the internet has to offer, first I want to say im sorry for my departure last week, I did it just for a personal grudge towards IV, in which I shouldn’t have done, I put the league in jeopardy, and caused you all to question my loyalty to the league, once again though IV is gone, im assuming, if he comes back maybe we can settle our differences, but until then, I, along with dmetrius and ASK, have a league to run, well lets start where we left off, it’s July, and the events I announced, didn’t take place, but week 4, remember the one with the question marks, well, you’ll learn more about that in this mag, so sit back, get some keebler elve cookies, you know the ones with the chocolate in the middle, a beverage of your choosing, and enjoy the mag, cause it’s like Whoa!!!

:: SET YOUR OWN STIPS WEEK ::

ok, folkes, since the 3way, nor the tag team week, went according to plan, I will introduce week 4 to you, and it WILL happen, why do I seem so sure, well, first off, it’s b/c it’s going to start as just a plain ol’ week, normal RSTL style, “so what’s the excitement then”, and “wtf is a stip”, well, a stip aka Stipulation is what this week is all about, it’s up to you this week to add hype to the league, actually it’s up to YOU and your OPPONENT, you 2 upon checking in will set a stipulation for your match, if your opponent checks in and agrees, then the match is set, if you don’t want a special match, then don’t ask for one, or if you don’t like the STIP, then don’t agree, some examples of Stips are as follows:

the first person that checks in will set a STIP, rather its...
BAR LIMIT
PICKING YOUR OPPONENTS TOPIC
LOSER IS BANNED FOR A WEEK
LOSER HAS TO ROCK A SIG OF WINNER CHOICE
BETTING POINTS
ETC...
It’s totally up to YOU, your creativity, along with your opponents, will determine how good this week will be, Normal RSTL rules apply, you just set the STIPS, if you don’t like this idea, it is simple, don’t set any STIPS, just have a normal match, it’s on you though, I hope you like this idea, and I predict next week to be rather interesting

:: THINGS TO LOOK FOR THIS WEEK ::

ok this week, although peeps may say isn’t a good week, is actually pretty damn good, for one, we still have 52 members, we have a new champ, and an array of unbeaten records out there, but that’s not even it it, we have a new member to the 60 wins club, a possibility to have the 2nd 6x Champ ever in RSTL history along with myself, and a few matches that hit the WOW meter, moving on...

First let’s speak on the new champ (Richard Corey) vs the possible 2nd 6x Champ/2nd ever 60 win #1 contender (Jowelz aka the GOAT), match, it’s new new school vs old, both cats who rejoined the league with a purpose, “to be champ again”, well history’s in the making, step 1 is complete, RC, got his 2nd title, stealing it away from an almost record breaking (Tha Talent) in most consecutive matches holding on to what we storytellers would call the Holy Grail (The RSTL Title), sure That Talent vs Jowelz would’ve been classic, but in my opinion, RC vs Jowelz, just seems so much better to me, RC, has beating a majority of the RSTL Legends out there, and a win over the GOAT, would definetly steal my spot light as the MVP for this year from TEK, whom’s icon is jowelz, basically beat jowelz and you’re god, but it can happen, and his record says that it can happen 16 times, but his record also says that he’s beating 60 out of those 76, that’s pretty impressive if you ask me, also, jowelz has 5 titles, and something like 8 title match appearances, so he has experience, but RC’s name is just as big as Jowelz, and it may outshine Jowelz a notch in the audiences eyes, all I can say, is this is no david vs goliath match, and if it was, who would be david, and who would be goliath, we’ll all know come Sunday when the votes are tallied, all I can see is this highly anticipated and I cant wait for the outcome, moving on...

Ok, lets look at some of these perfect record kids, ranging from 1-0 to 5-0, let’s start with 1-0, LMAO, yea right, you need to prove yourself a little more, next 2-0, (Thaumaturge), we he first came in, he made some noise until he came up against (doYen) whom is currently 5-0, basically he’s been crushing opponents so bad, only one showed up against him to get shut out, and thaumaturge recognized this and then the reasonable thing in signing out, cause we all know, whenever you feel you’ll lose, you can just sign out, cause you don’t get a loss, which IMO should change, but that’s another story, the other 5-0 kid on the list is (Writemind), the kid has some talent in him, but how will he fair once he gets higher in rank, this week he has his hands full in (vulgar) the first of 4 3-0 contenders, but how good is vulgar, he hasn’t had a match yet, everyone NS, could it be a case of doYen syndrome, who knows, we’ll find out Sunday though, as we will find out if the ever so confident (sercle), the upsetteting *sarcastic* defeat over storm g (Lucifer Leviathan) and the hyped (9volt), 5 out of the 7 mentioned have a chance to remain unbeaten, but who will it be, I have my ideas, but I’ll just wait til Sunday, moving on...

As far as hyped matches go, the RC vs Jowelz is a giving, then we got the #1 contenders match, Awedishin vs TRAP, 2 very talented writers, but only one hasn’t tasted victory to the point to say they’re #1, mr. Trap is hungry, and he’s basically guaranteed a victory, but Awedishin is a sexy beast, and there’s no way that Mac Daddy will lose this match, but that’s really farfetched, cause IMO, this will be pretty even, it’ll go down to the wire, im saying the final count will be 5-5, but awedishin wins cause trap only votes on 4 matches, the other match I see worth getting a chubby over is Tha Talent vs Ill Logic, fisrt I wants to say Nebs needs to stop being lazy cause he’s fully capable of making it to the top, you wouldn’t be in the Elite if I didn’t think so, but it’s not going to be easy, you have to face the infamous, “I DON’T LOSE OUTSIDE THE TITLE MATCH MAN” (Talent), I really hate putting “tha” before your name, it makes me seem dumb, “The Tha Talent is Talented”, that just doesn’t sound right, anyway, these matches are the best 3 this week, cant wait, calms erection, ok im done here​

sorry but this is currently pending, im waiting for that talent to send them, in which it’s apparent he hasn’t, so until further notice, your top 10 are......use your imagination, pretend you’re #1, but don’t cry when you actually see you aren’t when this is updated

10. Noib da Mutt...
...Noib's constantly coming up with weird ideas to write...though he's not a great writer, he certainly has creativity on lock...this week, his entire verse was based on a series of AIM convos...it was both somewhat funny and just very creative...very nice verse.

9. Equitus...
...though he can be considered an underachiever, Formal seems to have finally found some consistancy...he writes with poetic word choice and, at times, excessive imagery, but he gets his ideas across...only negative is that he can get too drawn out at times, but formal definitely is coming up, and may one day find that championship.

8. Cereal Killer...
...when he tied Vern Acular in the championship, Cereal Killer openly admitted that he did not feel completely worth, and thus withdrew from the following week's three way...well, he's well on his way to be ready now...on AIM, he revealed that the reason his verse ended so suddenly is because he hadn't planned his line limit properly, but that was really the only serious flaw in his verse...he has a very nice writers voice and keeps things well described and interesting...very good writer, and he brought a nice plot this week, a good spin on the single father topic everyone used this week.

7. Ace Boogie...
...though he somehow lost by not posting all of his links, Ace Boogie is a dope writer...i think it's fairly clear that he's an alias...anyway, that's beyond the point...this week he used a great word choice to describe the pains of a broken childhood and ended with a nice description of a "frozen moment"...i really liked this verse, very well written and a good(no matter what Mac's vote says) take on a difficult topic.

6. Mac Flow...
...though i know he had problems with these topics and did not personally feel his verse all that much, Mac is a hot writer...though the content might have been lacking a little from his norm, he wrote his verse very well and brought a nice ending that felt kinda smug and smooth...and his whole writers voice is just so nice...he can outwrite anyone in this league on a given day, with the right topic, and this week he proved that with the "wrong" topic.

5. TRAP....
...trap is trap...one of the most consistant guys in the league, he comes up with great approaches to his topics, and then writes them well...the best way to describe his writing is "efficiently polished"...he gets his thoughts passed naturally...very good verse this week, from a personal tip...so what it didn't have a "twist" or whatever, it was well written...a little more emotion would be nice, but it was a good verse.

4. Jowelz...
...we get to see Tek's old hyped GOAT vs. Tek's newly proclaimed GOAT next week, in Jowelz(the old GOAT) vs. Corey, in the championship match...i'm looking forward to it, because both are such natural writers...nothing that jowelz has ever written could possibly seem forced...he's just got such a great writers voice...so smooth in all his verses...great writer who gets to shoot for his 6th title...oh, and Vern Acular says "welcome to the 60-win club."

3. MC4Sight...
...let me just see, it's great to see 4Sight writing like this again...i think for a while he was letting himself get bound into the world of RSTL-style writing, but this is a guy who made his name through VERY poetic verses that i really enjoyed reading...this was great because everything was so smooth...i loved the abstract description...i'd really recommend that you all read this verse...very well written and very deceptively rhythmic...i don't see how you can help but like it.

2. Anaphora...
...let me just say, this is the best verse i've ever read by Ana...just a great verse that was so well laid out and had a great idea...the only minor negative is the rhyme scheme could have been better, but the flow was alright...his word choice was good, and he really had a great story...but his progression into the story was what really stood out...this guy will win a title one day soon.

1. Richard Corey...
...you don't need me to say much...this guy nearly shut me out with this verse...just a great idea, and a very important meaning...Utopia does not exist...lets face it and work with it...the verse was actually a little strange, but great in it's own right...Corey likes to write about the future, which is something i personally don't like reading about or writing about, but he pulls it off well...very, very well.

:: OUTRO::

ok, well, I went into detail, came out drunk, and have a boner that wont lose it’s luster, so in closure, im going to call up a girl, in resemblence to Kobe’s wife preferably, im gonna smash, send her home, pop in Hot Pocket, pour some hypnotic over ice and orange juice, kick my feet up, and watch this bootlegged copy of anchorman, holla at your boy, enjoy your week, show on time, vote, blah, blah, blah, *pushes play on the DVD*....​

-The article TOO HOT... (and too long probably as well heh) for the mag... half of you have probably read it already, I'll try to make it a weekly thing, one very in-depth breakdown a week, but I may not also, who knows... as for the rest, nice shit... haha, the tha talent...