In an interesting PR move, animal rights group PETA announced its intentions to hire socialite Paris Hilton as the star of a new campaign against burgers. The President of PETA, Ingrid Newkirk commented on the announcement saying, “We were looking for an intelligent, sophisticated woman with a history of passionately supporting different causes. Paris just seemed like a clean, natural fit for us.”

The burger campaign will focus on the plight of cows subjected to farm factory conditions and the affect such industries have on worldwide global carbon emissions. “We’re looking to really make people take notice of this one,” said Newkirk. “We hope to show that these tasty meals are coming from beautiful, living creatures.” The first ads will feature Paris (while wearing lingerie) eviscerating a cow carcass while also eating a hamburger.

Hilton was visibly excited over the first couple proofs. “My God, look how HOT I am! That is so cool,” she exclaimed. “I’m just so happy to help. I had no idea burgers came from cows. I’ve been telling everyone to stay away from Burger King and just eat at Wendy’s or something. I guess they get their burgers from Canada or somewhere and it’s better. Wow, look at my ass.”

The new ads from PETA will start appearing online in May and soon afterwards will run in most major magazines.

It’s worth noting that today is April 1, 2007Â

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About Michael dEstries

Michael has been blogging since 2005 on issues such as sustainability, renewable energy, philanthropy, and healthy living. He regularly contributes to a slew of publications, as well as consulting with companies looking to make an impact using the web and social media. He lives in Ithaca, NY with his family on an apple farm.