JUST FOR FUN: What's in and what's out as 2019 kicks off

Wednesday

Our annual guide to what's hot and what's not in news, entertainment, lifestyle and life in general.

NEWS & POLITICS

OK, let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: Trump is in! Deal with it.

Well, maybe that’s oversimplifying things a bit. (Oversimplifying is in.) Trump is in with a certain faction of people (let’s call them the “stand-in-the-middle-of-Fifth-Avenue-and-shoot-somebody" contingent), and out with a certain faction of other people (let’s call them “everybody else”). When it comes to Trump, straddling the fence is out.

Of course when it comes to his cabinet, lawyers and advisors, most of them are out, or soon to be out, or in jail. (Michael Cohen is in, for 36 months.) Former AG Jeff Sessions is finally out, so he’ll have to make his untoward remarks about marijuana and black people on his own time; but Trump attorney Rudy Giuliani is still in, albeit possibly out of his mind. (Being out of your mind is in.)

Democrats are in, at least in the House, where they took back about 40 seats -- the exact number’s still up in the air because there seem to be elections still going on, somehow -- they may continue for all eternity, like Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the hill, or the war in Afghanistan. Wars are still in. (Sadly.)

It’s looking like Nancy Pelosi will be back in as speaker, which may be bad news for fellow Dems who wanted her out, like Massachusetts Congressman Seth Moulton. Now he could face a primary challenge, since primary challenges are in -- just ask New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. (Is she ever in! Although the jury’s still out on Democratic Socialism. Sorry, Bernie.)

And of course special counsel Robert Mueller is in as the great white hope for those who have it in for the president (see “everybody else,” above). But he’s taking his time, because he’s meticulous, and possibly because he just enjoys reading all the tweets. (Tweeting is in.)

Outside, global warming is in. (You may have noticed all the massive hurricanes and wildfires -- you know, real wrath-of-God type stuff.) But don’t worry, we’re going to tackle the problem by banning straws and plastic bags and ... Well, that’s it. (Trying too hard to save the world is out.)

Meanwhile, while straws are out, guns are still in -- you can get one pretty much anywhere, even if you’re a raving lunatic, exactly as the Framers of the Constitution intended. (Let’s face it, those Framers had some issues of their own -- just look at “Hamilton.” Hamilton is still in, but Aaron Burr’s motto of talking less and smiling more is out, unfortunately.)

White males are out, although after running things for 5,000 years that only seems fair -- let’s face it, we’ve really screwed things up. Let's give someone else a shot for a while, and if it doesn’t work out we can switch back to white guys in 7019. I think Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would be willing to run things if we ask nice enough. (Did I mention she’s in?)

But even though white guys are out, Brett Kavanaugh (a.k.a. “Old Sobby”) is in as a Supreme Court justice. He seems to be doing a fine job, so maybe we jumped the gun in being concerned about naming Bluto from “Animal House” to the highest court in the land. But even though he’s in, that doesn’t mean the “Me Too” movement is out -- 5,000 years of harassment doesn’t just end overnight. Just ask CBS’ Les Moonves (who, cumulatively, might have actually committed 5,000 years’ worth of harassment).

Shopping in actual stores is out -- first we stopped doing it, and then they disappeared so we couldn’t do it if we wanted to. (Kmart and Toys R Us, we hardly knew ye! Actually not true, we knew ye too well -- that was the problem.) Shopping online is in because it’s much easier to do late at night when you’ve had a few and are feeling particularly bad about yourself. Don’t worry, happiness is just an Amazon cart away! (Amazon is in … Brrrrrr, I just got a chill, or it might have possibly been Jeff Bezos breathing on me through my Amazon Echo. Echos are in!)

And of course marijuana is in -- it’s now legal in Massachusetts, and retail shops are opening to great fanfare and massive crowds. With all this marijuana, who needs online shopping?

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

When it comes to entertainment, it’s Hugh Jackman’s world -- the rest of us just live in it, taking in his Wolverine/P.T. Barnum/Jean Valjean-ish aura. Yes, "The Front Runner” star is in, and he’s going out on tour, which means you’ll now be able to experience his Hugh-ness in the cozy confines of your local hockey arena. Hockey arenas are in.

Now that the latest “Robin Hood” movie is the year’s biggest flop, is it possible that we’ll never have to suffer through another film about men in tights shooting flaming arrows? Naaaaaah.

Being a superhero movie fan is more in than ever, thanks to the massive success of “Black Panther,” “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” and “Avengers: Infinity War,” the latter of which ended with most of your favorite heroes (SPOILER ALERT!) getting vaporized. But we have a feeling they’ll be back in next year’s “Avengers: Endgame,” because they’re under contract. Contracts are in.

Being a superhero TV fan is out, though -- Netflix seems to be culling its Marvel shows like “Daredevil,” “Luke Cage” and “Iron Fist,” possibly because of the planned streaming service that Marvel’s owner, Disney (you may have heard of them) is launching as a Netflix competitor. Disney’s service, Disney+, will have its own superhero shows, all of them presumably starring a 14-year-old girl who looks like Selena Gomez. Girls who look like Selena Gomez are in, at least for Disney.

As you may have gathered from all this, streaming is in -- so much so that cord cutting will soon cost more than cable, because you’ll have to subscribe to 57 different streaming services to get all the shows you want (and there will still be nothing on).

In the meantime, reboots are in, even with Roseanne out. (Turns out "The Conners" needed her even less than "Valerie’s Family" needed Valerie Harper. Google it.) But there seems to be a general consensus that rebooting has gone too far -- I mean, Magnum P.I. without a mustache? (Mustaches are out, unless you’re Magnum, in which case mustaches are a must.)

Fortunately, thanks to Steve Carell's recalcitrance, we haven’t seen a reboot of “The Office” -- yet. Although John Krasinski isn’t sitting around waiting, instead starring in Amazon's “Jack Ryan” and directing and starring in the hit film “A Quiet Place.” (Could it be he’s finally outgrown Jim Halpert? Naaaaaah.)

On TV talk shows, Megyn Kelly is already out at NBC -- turns out she was just likeable on Fox in comparison to everyone ELSE on Fox. And bomb-throwing comedian Michelle Wolf is also out, having bombed on Netflix with her show “The Break” (although she’ll always have the memory of all those icy stares at the last White House Correspondents Dinner).

But those ladies from “The View” are still in and may go on for all eternity, like those never-ending House races, or cockroaches. And Ellen will remain in until she finally gives someone a heart attack when a clown jumps out of the end table.

In music, strong women are in, no matter what the genre: Ariana Grande (pop), Janelle Monae (R&B/funk), Kacey Musgraves (country) and Cardi B. (rap) are all on top of their game, and they’re just a small sampling. In fact, NPR’s top 10 albums of the year were all by women artists, whereas Justin Bieber put his career on hold to get married -- and let’s face it, he pretty much stunk before that. Justin Bieber is out. Marriage, though, is sort of in.

Speaking of strong women, Lady Gaga is the in singer, actress and humanitarian, thanks to her star turn in “A Star is Born” and her efforts to help wildfire victims (along with pretty much everybody else). And she hasn’t worn a meat dress in years, so even vegetarians can like her now. Vegetarians are in!

And speaking of Ariana Grande, now that SNL’s Pete Davidson is out as her fiance, worrying about Pete Davidson is in. Take it from me, breaking up with someone after you’ve already gotten their logo tattooed on your neck is never easy.

Broadway is back in thanks to: 1) Bruce Springsteen, who spent 14 months playing a theater smaller than the room he must now be using to store his money; and 2) “Hamilton,” which now has more touring companies than you have streaming services. But hopefully with his Broadway stint over, Bruce can do something to help save rock music, which is out. And no, Imagine Dragons do not count as rock music, even if they’re in.

Old songs are in as long as they’re done by Weezer -- expect them to be recording the entire Toto catalogue any day now. Yes, thanks to Weezer, Toto is in. It’s a strange world.

When you listen to Weezer-sings-Toto it’s probably on a streaming service, since CDs are out. But the vinyl record resurgence remains strong, mainly because streaming is too cheap and easy and doesn’t rely on a tiny, expensive needle that could snap off at any time. What fun is that?

As for the toddler set, apparently all they do is listen to the Bounce Patrol song “Baby Shark” all day long, to the point where parents are hoping to meet a real shark that could put them out of their misery. And if they go to Cape Cod they might get their wish -- thanks to global warming, sharks are in, meaning the rest of us are out (of the water, natch).

SPORTS & LIFESTYLE

So football is out, thanks to all the concussions, criminals and elaborately choreographed end zone celebrations. Baseball is out because it takes too long, as evidenced by this year’s World Series Game 3, which went down in history as still being played as we speak (hang in there, Eovaldi!). And basketball and hockey are both out because our necks hurt from all that looking back and forth.

So what’s in? Curling!

But even if most sports are out, some athletes are in, especially as humanitarians: LeBron James has done almost as much good for the needy and downtrodden as Lady Gaga (Gaga/LeBron in 2020 -- you heard it here first!), and Mookie Betts won the World Series, fed the homeless and single-handedly revived bowling. Bowling is in!

In Boston, the Red Sox will be in as long as they keep winning World Series. (World Serieses?) But having parades may be out, since during the last one Red Sox manager and national treasure Alex Cora got hit by a beer. It’s comforting to know that in Boston, being a dunderhead is still in.

Tennis is in as long as Venus or Serena is playing -- we should probably just have them play each other and send everybody else home.

As for sports coverage, Barstool Sports has nailed down the coveted “young misogynist” demographic, while ESPN is being watched mostly by guys who just had a big meal and are now asleep in their recliner. Also there’s sports radio, a medium where sports is rumored to sometimes be discussed, although scientists haven’t been able to nail down actual proof of that. Scientists are out.

Fortnite remains the in video game, having apparently taken over the lives of millions of young and not-so-young people who enjoy killing each other in more happy-go-lucky ways than afforded in other, more seriously murder-minded video games. It’s also inspired a dance challenge, and you know what they say: Any video game that inspires a dance challenge can’t be all bad. (Dance challenges are in.)

As for video game systems, the new PS4 is in, in large part due to its new “Spider-Man” game, which is like the comics and movies except Spidey has a big white spider on his chest instead of a little black spider. Oh, and also you control him, I guess. (Full disclosure: I haven’t spent any significant time playing a video game since Yar’s Revenge in 1982. Yar’s Revenge is in, at least in my memories.)

Documenting your life on Instagram is still in, even for old people (i.e., over 21). For REALLY old people (i.e., over 31), pretending your life is rosier than everybody else’s on Facebook is in. Unfortunately, Facebook leaching into your life like some unholy alien symbiote is also in. (Apologies to the alien symbiote in “Venom,” which too is in.) As a result of all the leaching, along with the election manipulation and the hacked personal information, Mark Zuckerberg is out. Of favor, if not of money.

Sorry, Kanye West -- Yeezys are out, although why anyone wouldn’t want a $400 sneaker that rhymes with one of the seven dwarfs is beyond me. Fortunately for Kanye West, everything else about him is in. (I know, I know, but I can’t bear to tell him.)

Random things that turn into memes are in -- this means you, skyscraper raccoon! But among really, REALLY old people (i.e., over 41), not knowing what a meme is is in. But they're too busy listening to and/or recording podcasts to care. Podcasts are in!

Doing a home DNA test is the new fun pastime, because who doesn’t want to know how Iberian you are and what diseases you’re most likely to die from? This has it all over Twister. (Twister is out.) Of course, Sen. Elizabeth Warren should have probably pursued a different hobby, since we now know she’s less Native American than Johnny Depp as Tonto in the 2013 reboot of “The Lone Ranger.” (Johnny Depp is out.)

I am required by law to tell you that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are in, as if you were somehow unaware. That is all.

Finally, thanks to Time magazine -- which recently chose as its “Person of the Year” a selection of persecuted and murdered journalists -- real news, and the people who report it, are in. (Unfortunately magazines and newspapers are out, but we’ll take the nod anyway.) Maybe even President Trump will come to realize the value of what journalists do to help preserve democracy.

Naaaaah.

This year’s In and Out research team included Joe McConnell, Bryan McGonigle, Robby McKittrick, Jennie Oemig, Jenny Prag, Nancy Prag, Matthew Reid, Nicole Simmons, Chris Stevens and Wendall Waters. Peter Chianca is news director for Gatehouse Media North of Boston and author of “Glory Days: Springsteen’s Greatest Albums.” Follow him on Twitter at @pchianca.