The majority of the time spent reading this, I kept saying to myself "no." I could never give a WS a second chance. I wouldn't want her anywhere near me after having an affair. Holding the betrayed spouse while they cry? Really? No, more like you'd better get away from me. It's wonderful if anyone can find an ounce of comfort in this information, but it, in my opinion, is just a self-help manual for betrayers who get caught and want to stay with their wives/husbands because the one they cheated with isn't relationship material. If they were, they'd be with them legitimately. An alternate title for this could be "How to Weasel Your Way Back In After The Fun Is Over."

I wanted to point out a recent thread that I thought would be helpful to wayward spouses because I think sometimes WS may not fully grasp this aspect of the betrayal. As a WS, this thread really hit home for me as my H made a life decision during the time I was in my A. He actually told me later he would have made a different choice if he had known. I know many WS don't want to tell because they don't want to hurt their spouse...but have you (WS) ever thought about the decisions your spouse is making based on the life they think they're living, which is not the truth?

Bumping thread to re-open for topical responses regarding resources and information a wayward spouse may find valuable. Remember, no member arguing in here. Sanctions for that are stronger now. Save it for PM's or other discussion threads and preserve your posting privileges. Thanks!

I wanted to point out a recent thread that I thought would be helpful to wayward spouses because I think sometimes WS may not fully grasp this aspect of the betrayal. As a WS, this thread really hit home for me as my H made a life decision during the time I was in my A. He actually told me later he would have made a different choice if he had known. I know many WS don't want to tell because they don't want to hurt their spouse...but have you (WS) ever thought about the decisions your spouse is making based on the life they think they're living, which is not the truth?

I just wanted to comment on my post that, unfortunately, this thread no longer exists on Love Shack. I thought it was an important read for WS in that it pointed out instances where BS felt "robbed" by their WS during the A.

Examples that I can remember:
- holidays/vacations when they thought WS was with them, but was texting or email their AP
- life decisions they made regarding careers, children, etc based on the fact they thought they had an exclusive marriage
- other memories that are now "tainted" because the WS was speaking with or saw the AP during that time

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