With its steady employment of throaty-voiced actresses who look great in chunky highlights and stylish power blouses, the Law & Order franchise has attracted a devoted lesbian fanbase -- but does it always make good on that following? The mothership series once attempted to shoehorn a deliciously out-of-left-field, last-minute lesbian revelation when Elisabeth Röhm left the show. The results? Awkward. Now, NBC has released video of a same-sex smooch between Mariska Hargitay and guest star Kathy Griffin on an upcoming episode of Law & Order: SVU. The results? Even more awkward.

And maybe even a little bit homophobic, to be honest. The trouble begins when Kathy Griffin is handed the sort of dialogue that the Law & Order franchise typically reserves only for Cherry Jones or a visiting Broadway B-lister. Things escalate from there as the comedienne makes a move on Hargitay, though their kiss is obscured somewhat by plot contrivance and two voluminous coifs. And the topper? When the shocked Hargitay not only reaffirms her rock-hard heterosexuality, but advises an officer sent to relieve her that she'd better stay out of Griffin's room, lest the red-headed kissing bandit strike again! "Watch out, Detective Whoever! You get close to her, and all sorts of sweeps-related same-sex shenanigans could happen!"