I left Corporate America four years ago to be a stay-at-home mom. It is the most rewarding, fulfilling, and frustrating job I’ve ever had.
I started a blog because I have a serious lack of adult interaction. This is a great way to get my thoughts out, and practice talking to people who are older than age four. Please enjoy my rantings about the life of a stay-at-home mom.
And remember, everyone looks better with a few shades of crazy on their faces.

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Monday, April 28, 2008

This week’s Manic Monday word is Rip. You’ve probably heard the phrase “to rip somebody a new one.” Well, this may come as a shock to you, but I’ve always had a little bit of a temper. I really think that for the most part I’ve done a good job of working on my tolerance level over the years. Unfortunately, I still have those occasions where I have an extremely short fuse. (It was really bad when I was pregnant.) That got me thinking about all the times I’ve lost my head and ripped some well-deserving (or unsuspecting) person a new one. Here are a few instances.

1. A 20-something childless girl who remarked to me, “Children aren’t pets” when we had Georgia on her leash in a crowd of people. I stopped short of punching this girl in the face, but I did use a few choice words that I probably shouldn’t have in front of my children when telling the ignorant girl to mind her own business.

2. The girl at the swimming pool who wouldn’t let Georgia wade in the baby pool while we were waiting for Eli’s swimming lessons to be over. They wanted me to pay $3 so Georgia could wade in the pool for 20 minutes. I think the words “blood-sucking leech” came out of my mouth during that tirade.

3. A woman who cut in front of me in line at a public restroom when I was 5 months pregnant. Dude! You don’t cut in line in front of a pregnant woman for the bathroom. I mean, seriously. And just because I was pregnant didn’t mean I wasn’t going to throw down with someone who deserved it.

4. The pharmacist at Walgreen’s who chastised me for not giving them enough time to fill my prescription. I honestly don’t remember what I said because I just saw red. But I did make the woman cry.

5. The girl at McDonald’s who refused to sell me a 4-piece chicken mcnugget. I had to buy the 6-piece. Evil bloodsuckers.

6. A lady at the insurance company because they were trying to find some way not to `cover my pregnancy glucose test. Dude! Don’t mess with me when I'm pregnant.

7. The girl at the bank who had apparently transposed two numbers in my Social Security number on my account. This made it impossible for me to make any changes to my account because they kept telling me I had the wrong SSN. Grrrr! After I went off that time, her supervisor called me back and they actually credited my bank account $5 since I was so inconvenienced. Keep that in mind if you ever have a problem at the bank. Apparently, they can just give you money.

I’m sure there are many more, but I’ll stop there before you think I’m a complete psychopath. I hope you all have a happy stress-free week, but if someone gets in your way, don’t be scared to rip them a new one.

A few weeks ago, I was out with a friend who had one of those leashes on her son. I noticed a lot of people stopping to stare and all I could figure was that it was the leash that got their attention.

What in the world is wrong with people? That kid is FAST and his mom has a baby. It's bad enough when you have to run after a child (assuming you know where he is because this kid is not only fast, but he's damn near a ninja with his ability to vanish), but when you have to abandon a baby to chase after the older child, that's even worse.

I used to have the same mantra about kids, leashes and pets. Then I grew up. When I was a teenager, an older friend said, "If I have to chose between losing my child at the airport or getting a few glares, I'll take the glares every time."