Monday, May 16, 2011

Songs I Sing To My Son

Not long after Zach was born I realized I had a bit of musical talent. One night he started crying and we began the guessing game all new parents play trying to find out what was wrong. First we checked his diaper. It was clean, so we tried a bottle. He blanched at that. Didn't have a temperature. We rocked him. We cooed. We tried the usual lullabies. Nothing stopped his crying. Suddenly, he stopped. His face got beat red and he grunted. Then he began to cry louder. Ahhh. The poor kid was having some difficulties...well, filling his diaper.

To calm him down and to help him along I started a little cheer. It has a marching cadence and I've since perfected it down to two versions:

The Poopie Song - Version 1

Push those poopies out of there.
Put them in your underwear.
That's a diaper for you, you see.
You'll wear undies when you turn three.

I know you probably think I'm nuts. But guess what? It helped relax him and he was able to go.

The second version came about because as the months went on I was really beginning to hope he would be in undies much sooner than three:

Version 2

Push those poopies out of there.
Put them in your underwear.
That's a diaper for not me but you.
You'll wear undies when you turn two.

Since then I have enjoyed parodying songs, a la Al Yankovic, for him. Another poopie song I sing him now that he runs around and plays is called, Zachary, and is sung to the tune, Valerie, by Steve Winwood:

Zachary

Zachary!
Call on me!
Zachary!
Call on me!
Zachary!!!
Come on, see me,
Any time you poop or pee.

Now we've begun the process of getting him to brush his teeth by himself. We still do it but he has his own little toothbrush to help out. Or just make a mess with at this point. Anyway, this song is pretty much the original song. I just changed the one word to toothbrush. Let's see if you recognize it:

I took my toothbrush,
Out to see a movie.
Didn't have to pay,
To get him in.

(Repeat chorus)

Maybe you think that's nuts too, but he belly laughs when I get to the next part:

Silly, silly toothbrushes,
Are never seen drinking cappuccino,
In Italian restaurants
With Oriental women...Yeah.

(Repeat chorus)

So there you have it. Some of the songs I sing to my son. I know I'm silly, but sometimes it helps to be silly, because you can only sing "The Barney Theme" and "The Hot Dog Song" so many times before you really will go nuts.