RESOLVING THE ISSUE AND REBUILDING TRUST—PART I

If you don’t want to know more than what you already know, that’s your right. But keep this in mind: if other details come to light later, it will be difficult for you to blame your partner for not bringing it up. While you may not want to hear more details now, it may be in your best interest to get the key issues out in the open. Knowing the truth, however painful, will help you evaluate the situation and find potential solutions.

Repairing Betrayed Partner’s Trust

When your partner asks what happened, tell the truth. This isn’t the time to omit details, conceal facts, or lie. If these questions are not answered honestly, suspicions will linger, and the truth will probably come out anyway. Telling the truth can be difficult and awkward, because you probably don’t want to hurt or upset your partner more than you already have, but putting the facts on the table is part of the healing process.

It may help to keep in mind that your partner is entitled to the truth. He or she deserves to have his or her questions answered. You and your partner are trying to build a life together; telling the truth is part of the deal. When your partner is asking for details, focus on the facts. Do your best not to offer excuses—just describe what happened. While you don’t want to hurt your partner more than you already have, concealing facts or trying to justify your actions is going to cause more problems. There is a time to tell your side of the story, but this is not that moment. When your partner is asking for the truth, this is your opportunity to show you can be trusted—by being honest.