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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

How It All Came Out Today

I can't really speak for everyone, but at OUR house the decades are fairly spinning--like a giant Groucho Marx You Bet Your Life spinner with a sneer on its face. Why, it seems only yesterday ("Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Not 'til I'm 50?? Awww heck.") that I was toddling off to my very first colonoscopy. Omaha it was. 2004. And now a decade later...

I'm not going too far into details, just can't resist the highlights. Paco left the house early early today to get a crown on a tooth he broke. One car is in the shop, so I said all gallant like, "Ill just walk." We live about 3 miles from the hospital, but the day was above freezing--bikini weather for Brrrrrr Lake. Now, I'm just vain enough that I took some extra time today getting ready. Don't want anyone examining my ROOTS along with my colon! Neither do I want to become legendary for fuzzy legs. Needless to say my pastoral walk into town turned into alternate speed walking/jogging as I raced the clock. It seemed too early to solicit friend help, and besides my phone was dead. With a mile left and my appointment time behind me, I hailed down a car. She waved merrily and passed me by. Then I got aggressive and stepped out in front of the next truck, flailing both arms this time. And THAT is how I ended up being delivered to my colonoscopy by a Peruvian sheep rancher. Honestly.

P.S. Who knew my procedure included lunch in the cafeteria for me AND my newly-crowned designated driver! AND I got an A FREAKING PLUS on my colon!!!!!!!! Whoooo--eeeee!

3 comments:

I am most impressed with your decision to walk to your colonoscopy. I was afraid I wasn't going to make it from the car into the doctor's office without needing a bathroom. Kudos to your intestinal fortitude, the bonus lunch, and the A+ on your colon!

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About Me

My husband and I recently bought an 8 acre "farm" in southeastern Idaho. I'm not sure what possessed us, but we left Omaha looking literally for greener pastures WITHOUT WIND!! Prior to that we lived in and loved NJ, but not my husband's 4 hour daily commute into Manhattan. Mugsy lives at our house. He's much more interesting than either my husband or I. Currently we live in Beijing, China, where we teach written and oral English at Peking University.