Today we found a strange floating creature in a jungle expedition. It is very shy, but playful. It appears to have strong defensive powers, but very little offensive powers. It makes small mewing noises, so the doctor calls it mew. I hate that creature. A few minutes ago, I was trying to figure out if there were any sightings of this creature before, and it kept on snatching away my book, laughing as I tried to get it back! I must stop writing this now and hide the journal, just in case it tries to do the same with this book.

Entry #2, Cinnibar Mansion

this annoying creature will not stop drawing strange animals! But I think these drawings have a deeper significance. Today we put Mew in a cage with a simple rat to see how it would act with other creatures. It stole a marker that was in my shirt using it's psychic powers, used it to draw a rat-like creature on the bottom of the cage, suddenly the rat went over to sniff the drawing, and it started to mutate! The rat turned purple with four white whiskers and a curly tail. I will make a drawing of it for future reference:

I only hope that the drawing of a strange looking boxer won't mutate me. Underneath the drawing of a rat, Mew wrote strange runes that looked like this:

{unown a}{unown t}{unown t}{unown a}{unown t}{unown a}

I have no idea what these runes mean, but they seem to resemble letters. I must go. The idiotic doctor is asking for my assistance.

Entry #3, Cinnibar Mansion

What a discovery! This mew seems to be a pregnant female! I just hope that the newborn won't be as annoying as the mother. This discovery seems to prove that there is another Mew, and possibly an entire species! Also, I have found out how to translate the writing that Mew does.
She has changed several creatures, including a dead body into a ghost. I learned that she calls the purple rat rattata, the ghost ghastly, a frog with a tulip bulb on its back bulbasaur, and that the sounds they make are also their names. I have also discovered that the creatures that Mew creates change shape as they grow, showing extremely fast genetic mutation, or very strange hormones taking their toll. We have learned that it is the hormones, since the small frog (which we have come to call Bulbasaur) has turned into a very large toad with a large flower on it's back (Venusaur), then the toad had planted a seed that grew out of it's flower, the seed grew quickly, into a bulbasaur. Now I must finish this entry, I am getting very sleepy. I hope that mew won't keep me up all night trying to find a spot to give birth.

Entry #4, Cinnibar Mansion

Mew had her "kitten" today. Mew and the doctor were very sad about what happened, because the baby was born dead. The baby looked nothing like the mother, and we are assuming that it is male. We do not know for certain, because Mew won't let us near the newborn. I see that this creature has a much more powerful body than mew, even though it is just born and dead. Its tail is long and flexible, its feet are large and look very muscular, and it's ears look very powerful. Its brain must be very large, because there is a muscle on the back of its head that seems to help hold its head up. The doctor is calling me now, so I must finish this entry. He sounds very exited, so maybe he has discovered something else interesting.

Entry #5, Cinnibar Mansion

This is a huge discovery in medical science! We have managed to clone the baby mew! The doctor dislikes the newborn, he thinks it is very dangerous, but he has no idea what it is. It is wonderful. Today the young mew, or as the doctor calls it, "Mewtwo", has found a cure to a very deadly disease! The doctor says that he needs more proof to make sure that it works, but it does! One of the elderly neighbors came down with the disease, but when mewtwo gave him the injection, it not only cured the disease, but also got rid of his arthritis! It is a miracle that we found this creature's mother. Mewtwo is also starting to understand human speech, and speak it. He doesn’t speak like you and me, but he more makes you think what he is thinking. It is much deeper than that, though. He can also create mutations in creatures much better than Mew. Today, he turned most every creature in the mansion to a "pokémon" as we have started calling them. The doctor makes me watch over Mewtwo when its mother is sleeping, and he just alerted me that it is sleeping. I must go.

Entry #6, Cinnibar Island. This entry is written in slightly different handwriting.

A conspiracy. Giant meteor fell on the island today, loosing many creatures. Mewtwo uses power, turns creatures to pokémon. Kills mother and doctor in process. Turns back human intelligence ten thousand years because of terrible mistake. All animals pokémon now. Mewtwo fuses with apprentice writing journals. He is shielded from magic because mewtwo. Mewtwo and apprentice now go to study everything about world. Mew turn to human. Human turn to mew. Few mew survive. Many human survive. mewtwo and apprentice go now. Keep book as only thing to remember old world. Destroy everything else.

(All but one of the pages are torn out after this one, and the last page was meant to be the last page.)

We are now the most intelligent creatures on the planet. Alakazam and Xatu are preschoolers compared to us. We await the one who can tame us like the weak pet pokémon that everyone has by age ten. We are now ten thousand years old, and still share a body. The world will shiver at the mention of our name. Mewtwo. We shall one day free all the pokémon, and rid the world of the humans who think pokémon are tools. Mewtwo's reign is approaching...

End of journal

Last edited by girog on Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:58 am, edited 4 times in total.

Fri Mar 09, 2007 6:34 pm

StevensNightmare

Dragon Tamer

Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:56 amPosts: 219

Awesome. Just purely awesome. Describing Mew and Mewtwo and switching the memories back and the creation of the pokemon, this is great! Is there a sequel?

Proper capitilization is an amazing thing, did you know that after each sentence a new one starts with a capital letter? I think that's facinating. Regardless of that tid-bit of knowledge wonderful story line.

*sigh*Girog, can´t you take critizism? Crimson is not putting you down, it´s because I think she gets frustrated when such a good story looks so unattractive, but you know what? it is true, it is sad that this good plot looks so scrambled, and try not to use icons, that makes the thing to look even worst.

Someone wrote:

Being praised is great, but then, how could you improve?

Think about it.

_________________

AABM's

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.

· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?

Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:18 am

Crimson

Pokemon Ranger

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pmPosts: 716Location: USA EST

Who said you were an idiot? I was just bored of saying 'please use proper capitilization' so I came up with a more creative way to say it. It does frustrate me when a good story looks haphazard, I nearly didn't read the story when I saw the icons.

_________________

Link changed to my library.

Sun Mar 11, 2007 11:46 am

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3168Location: clegavel

~Crimson~ wrote:

Proper capitilization is an amazing thing, did you know that after each sentence a new one starts with a capital letter? I think that's facinating. Regardless of that tid-bit of knowledge wonderful story line.

Well even though you tried to say it a different way, now it sounds like sarcasm. No offense, but everyone makes the odd typo when typing fast (I type 50 wpm), and don't want to bother backspacing because you didn't press the Shift key.

And, Girog, this story is awesome. It is totally unrelated to the real story...And that's just the way I like it!! Please continue the "legend".

Well, you see I realize that's how it sounded. Despite the fact that it's just my kind of sense of humor. While a joke in that manner may not have been the best way I cared more about getting my point across, and it certainly wasn't the worst. So I must commend you on your defense of girog, it is very sweet of you, but I must also point out that pointing out one of the few things that could be improved in the story is not a bad thing. I don't believe that the lack of capitalization was an accident, in all of his posts that I've seen there hasn't been proper capitalization. I believe it's a horrible, lazy, habit like chat speak. I am in no way shape or form saying anything I do is perfect, I'm positive it isn't. I typically proof read what I'm typing and once I still missed having the same sentence typed twice. Accidents happen, I can accept that.

And if it is a speed issue then there are tons of solutions. He could slow down, practice accuracy, proofread, have someone else proofread it, etc...

This forum is not only for praise, it's a good thing to point out what's wrong. You don't always see what's wrong in your story. And if you know you have a weakness, that you really don't want pointed out just say so in an author comment. That'll show the readers, if they read the comment, that you're aware of it and don't wished to have it brought up. May I point out that I did infact praise the story regardless of capitalization. And I act this way with everyone, pointing out the things that could be improved shouldn't mean I need to put a disclaimer warning people about it every time I post. Getting a proper critique should be expected by those posting.

Wouldn't you be a little upset if someone you don't know started talking to you like you were in first grade, just because you haven't proofread something yet??

I feel like this guy-->{nidoking}

Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:53 pm

Crimson

Pokemon Ranger

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pmPosts: 716Location: USA EST

At first I may be affronted by the way they spoke, it's natural to feel that way about something you work on, but a few minutes later I would take a step back and look at where they're comming from. And then I would try to grow from what they said, decide if I could agree [because sometimes it's only an issue of the person's taste] or not, regardless I would thank them for being honest in their opinion. I would also thank them for helping me grow as a writer, whether I agreed with them or not. Actually, I'm far more insulted when people don't review and I know they've read my works than if they were to tell me that a rock could write a better story.

As for proofreading, it's a valuable thing, I do my best to be accurate but I make mistakes that I don't catch. And people point them out to me. For example, when I first posted 'Carnival' I had repeated a sentence and it wasn't until AAMB had pointed it out to me that I noticed. I corrected it once I was told and thanked him.

People can say anything they want, how they want to. It's your choice to agree or disagree, to listen or not to listen. Just like it's your choice to retalliate or not. And when you post your work, anywhere, anticipating only praise isn't fair to anyone. If you knew you hadn't proofread it yet, and if you didn't want people to comment on it you should've said so. You should have said that it was still in progress and that you'd correct some grammatical things later. Author notes are amazing like that, they let the readers in on what you know or anything else you want to tell them. Who ever made the first AN is an unproclaimed genius.

So yes, to an extent I can understand where you're comming from and how you're feeling. But I feel this is one of the more annoying but needed stages in writing, getting off your high horse to realize that you're not always going to get praise and that it's not always going to be 'kind' criticism. I went through it, everyone goes through it at some point. Once you get over it you can improve drastically. This stage is in nearly everything, so you're not the only who feels like that and you're not the only one who's getting 'insulted'.

I can't agree or disagree with that, but it really annoyed me that you posted that instead of messaging me. I hugely disagree with that "It's far more insulting when people don't review and I know they've read my works than if they were to tell me that a rock could write a better story" part, because i'm far more insulted if they say that a rock would write a better story. But still, you should ask yourself these things before posting an insulting review:

"did they have enough time to proofread?"

"Will they take this negatively?"

"Is there a kinder way to say this?"

As the chinese philosipher Confucius once said: "Do unto others as you wish for them to do unto you."

Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:11 am

Crimson

Pokemon Ranger

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pmPosts: 716Location: USA EST

Ironically I do treat others the way I wish to be treated. Brutally honest, that way there can be no confusion. And I hold no inhibitions about posting things for all to see, it just doesn't upset me at all. I doubt I'll ever understand they way you feel about reviews. I'm always trying to grow, I can only see so much on my own and if no one were to tell me then I'd never improve.

Quote:

"did they have enough time to proofread?"

My question is, why did they post it if they didn't put the proper effort, which isn't necessarily a lot, into it? There are a fair amount of decent pieces of work, with the effort put in, on the site. It's insulting to those works and their authors to even consider that when writing a review. What gives them the right to not put in the same effort and expect only praise when the others who put the effort in are expecting both?

Quote:

"Will they take this negatively?"

I say things cruelly, and honestly. They come out insulting but the best intentions are at heart. So I've unfortunately grown used to it and find it funny in a way when people do take it as an insult. I suppose that's the price I pay for reading psychotic horror stories all the time.

Quote:

"Is there a kinder way to say this?"

Honestly? Most likely, do I care? No not really. I'd feel like I was lying to myself if I were to sugar coat things for others when I wouldn't want them sugar coated myself. I hate it when people sugar coat things when they're speaking to me. It's obvious that I see the world very different from you, I'm fine with that in fact I'm pleased by that. Half the time when I get in these...tiffs...it isn't completely unwarranted. Fine I'm disrespectful, I can live with that. And you may greatly dislike me [even hate], I can live with that too. Like I said, I care far more about getting my point across.

1. Necromancy is strictly forbidden. You posted 2 months after the last guy.
2. What does your message have to do with this topic? (And don't say 'you don't understand because you're not a Christian', because I am one.)

- DNA
Mods, don't get mad at me for this; I only want to help out

EDIT: Crimson: No I came in here because I wanted to see who necromanced - I knew this topic hadn't been replied in since April.

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