For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Hawaii.

The history of Hawaii begins two thousand of years ago when Lemurian tourists known as the Marc's of Kalihi got lost en route to visit Mexican temples. Attempts to attract rescue with several signal volcanoes backfired when Vogons strafed the island with orbital mind control lasers, devastating the island's infrastructure and instantly vaporizing nearly all of the native Polynesian consonants. An advanced civilization eventually grew on the island but was subsequently nuked back to the Stone Age by an evil syndicate called the Missionaries. Eventually more races came and renamed the islands Little Britain. After a glorious rebellion led by Michael Collins and Mel Gibson, the islands were renamed back to Hawaii in 1881. But not to be outdone, the Missionaries overthrew the last monarch and made Hawaii into a very large plantation complete with nuclear missiles hidden in sugar factories until statehood was declared largely due to the loss of sugar because of those Commies in Cuba. As a result, Michael Collins promised a new rebellion as soon as Godzilla awakens with the help. The United States destroyed Hawaii on December 7, 1941. Nothing larger than a small car remains of it, though it continues to be a popular hiding place for pirates.