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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

7 Ways A Puppy Prepares You For Babies

It's funny to me that when people think about parenting but aren't ready for a human life to take care of, they often say "How can I take care of a baby when I can barely care for myself ?" Somehow they believe that they need a test run, usually on a pet that requires more maintenance than a cat whom you may bring home and never see again. That is usually when couples buy a dog; to truly test their mettle in caring for another life.

That dog becomes your child and you care for it accordingly often referring to it as your "fur baby". You start to refer to them as your children and you think of them as such. Carrie Underwood is one such example, where the pets in her life became part of her announcement to the world that she was expecting.

Talk of your care for them enters conversations when people are talking about their human children because it is your only frame of reference. People get pissed off that you can even dare to compare. But, I am here to tell you that puppies are just like babies even though your mother may be getting tired of only referring to her granddogs and dropping hints everywhere that she's ready for the real thing.

7 Ways That A Puppy Prepares You For Babies

1. A puppy is going to wake you at all hours of the night because it is scared, hungry, or crapped itself in that cage you put him in all night long.

Forget that time you got to sleep in late. It's gone forever. It's going to cry, cry, and cry some more. Those nights you just would like to sleep for a straight hour are in your rearview mirror. People at work are going to tell you that you look tired which basically means you look like crap.

2. Your stuff is all going bye-bye

Remember all that cool stuff you had in college or those collectibles you had on a low shelf that you want everyone to admire? It's gone. If you value them at all put them in a box and think of them fondly or you may be rocking yourself in a corner sucking your thumb if you don't. Puppies are curious and they put everything in their mouths just to see how something tastes.

3. You are going to spend most of your time dealing with their shit

Puppies go a lot. They often have accidents, especially on that shirt you accidentally left on the ground or that new white carpet you just installed in the living room. Make sure you invest in Stainmaster and buy stock in The Rug Doctor because it is going to hit the fan.

4. Forget your social calendar

Your puppy is going to take up all your time. Playing with it, cleaning up after it, and feeding it is going to be your life. Forget meeting your friends out for drinks. The puppy OWNS you.

5. Be prepared, you are going to spend lots of money

Puppies are expensive. Food and health care alone are going to bleed you dry not to mention all the toys you have to constantly buy for them because they get easily bored. Oh, and watch out for all the outfits and anything puppy related things you will HAVE to buy. Especially Halloween costumes. Because well, they are just so damn cute.

6. You are going to have to take an active role in their education

Puppies need lots of training. There is no rhyme or reason why they do the things they do. They don't listen, put their mouths on everything and then give you a cute look that you can't resist. You're going to need patience and lots of it if you are going to get through this. Beer also helps.

7. Don't be dumb when it comes to vaccinations

Puppies can get diseases. There are vaccines that prevent these diseases. Would you take the chance and not give your puppy a shot for rabies? Of course you wouldn't, that would just be dumb.