Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Mid semester has arrived in all its mid semester glory, which is to say I am hopelessly behind in every area of my life, which must be why I thought it would be a good idea to sign up for a (PAID) freelance science ed writing assignment. I'm really excited about the project, which is why it seems OK that I now work until I can no longer physically keep my eyes open every night. Good news/bad news the deadline is October 4th, so it won't be going on for much longer!

Yesterday morning I had a dentist appointment at 9:30 and took full advantage of not having to be in my office until just before lunch. Ryan left while it was still dark so he could leave mid-morning to take Charley to therapy, which was at the same time as my dentist appointment (I would have happily rescheduled the dentist appointment so I could take Charley to therapy, but I'd already rescheduled it four times, twice for kids, once for class, and once for rowing), so I got the kids up, fed, and dressed, and did the two dropoffs. Then I worked out, ran to the store for dinner items, arranged the dinner items so that our nanny could find them (SHE LIKES TO COOK YOU GUYS. Knowing that if I put ingredients in the fridge before work I will come home to DINNER ALREADY MADE is highly motivating. I have really missed having someone at my house since Miss N moved away and this is awesome). I switched a load of laundry to the dryer, started a second load, and took a shower and got ready for work (I wore essentially the same outfit as the assistant principal at the kids' school, who I'd seen working the crosswalk at dropoff because I'm psychotic like that). Then I went to the dentist and then I went to my favorite sandwich shop to pick up lunch on my way in because, yup, still hate going to the dentist and a massive NY Italian and two cookies seems like a good reward for not losing it. Graded like a crazy person, met with a student, graded some more, taught, graded, met with IT, met with my chair. Graded. Picked up Mary. CAME HOME TO HAPPY KIDS, A HOME COOKED MEAL, AND A BEAUTIFULLY SET TABLE. Ate with the kids. Rode bikes outside until Ryan came home. Found a stray dog and returned it to its home (was kind of hoping we wouldn't figure out where she lived, she was super cute). Made a birthday cake for Wes. Put kids to bed. Then came downstairs to watch Call the Midwife and scale Mount Laund-more.

Then attempted to work on my project before falling dead asleep on the couch. Gonna give it another shot this morning. Here! I'll catch you up on some pictures!

Coordinating element in this experiment in pattern-mixing is hearts.

I love this dress-shoes combination. I feel like I should be on my way to bridge with the ladies.

We had a dog, for like ten minutes.

Wes got a new bike for his birthday!

Hilarity ensued while at the store.

Mary got her stitches out (right eyebrow). It was...a horrible experience for everyone, since the skin had pretty much grown around the stitches. HORK. Wes and Charley couldn't handle the screaming and excused themselves to the waiting room (Wes, on the verge of tears: "I just can't listen to her cry!" My heart.). James was a ROCK. He held her hand the entire time and calmly told her "You're doing a great job, Mary. What a good girl! It's almost over!" He was AMAZING. I had to pin her to the table with my body to keep her still. The doctor was trying to be gentle and distract her and it was SO HARD. She tried like five different tools and at one point I looked up, grimacing with the effort of restraining a forty-pound octopus, and said firmly "Just. Goforit." No more jumping out of the car. But James. He was amazing.

We had dinner at Rosa's on Friday. The kids take Rosa's very seriously.

And in the most exciting news of all! Wes turned EIGHT today! (or as he will tell you, he's not officially eight until 9 AM) He is such a wonderful boy and we are so proud of him. He is our thoughtful little tenderheart, who loves his friends. He gives amazing hugs and makes crazy combinations of food and calls himself "Combo Man" (last night I found him eating skittles and tootsie rolls together). He is so excited to have some friends come over Friday for bike time and a movie and pizza and cupcakes. He is such a great kid. Happy birthday to Wes!

Friday, September 23, 2016

I am writing to you on my new laptop, which I have because Ryan got tired of hearing me sigh loudly (at best) and mutter obscenities (at worst) at my old laptop, which is older than James and no-longer has a functioning "k" key. LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIFUL K'S I JUST TYPED ALL WILLY NILLY! Also, the case on this one does not come apart when I pick it up and I'm pretty sure the DVD drive will never pop open randomly in my backpack BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE A DVD DRIVE. My life just got a lot less annoying, you guys.

Except that I just noticed that my phone still hasn't uploaded the pictures to Flickr that I've been trying to upload for an entire week. That's annoying.

What else is going on? OH, well Wednesday I took a sub spot for a boat that went out at 7:00, figuring the 5:45 boat I often sub for didn't need me that day since I hadn't heard from them. Later, the earlier boat emailed to ask if I'd be interested in subbing and I politely explained that I already had a spot but to keep me in mind. They found a sub for THAT spot and then needed ANOTHER sub and so emailed me again so I figured, WHY NOT DO TWO ROWS IN ONE MORNING?

The first row was great, because that is the boat that is training for a regatta at the end of October and they work really hard and I love it. When we got back to the boathouse the next boat was waiting but I had to pay my parking meter, so I RAN to go do that and RAN back and got right into the next boat, which was made up of some extremely strong, extremely fast senior citizens. We rowed to the OPPOSITE end of the lake, meaning that I rowed the entire lake on Wednesday morning, in both directions, for a combined distance of a conservative TWELVE KILOMETERS.

I was happy when we got back to the dock earlier than anticipated (but not before we did the bridge to bridge sprint everyone is so fond of) because that was kind of a lot. After that I had breakfast taco plans with a friend and after that she wanted to try out the trail that was across the street from the taco place, which we did even though I was wearing a skirt. It was not hard to fall asleep Wednesday night, is what I'm saying. I barely made it through NOVA and that ends at 9.

Today I teach and then lead the kids' garden group at their school and then pick Mary up and then hopefully we will have time to go pick out a new bike for Wes's birthday. (His eighth birthday is next week but the Scout bike rally is tomorrow and he's still riding the bike we gave him for his third birthday. So I'd say we got our money's worth out of that one, especially considering it will probably be Mary's next bike.) After that we move straight into the school movie night and then, at last, bedtime. Tomorrow is bike rally and a friend's party and probably some homework and piano and maybe if we're lucky some porch beers in there somewhere (although the forecast calls for heavy rain on Sunday, the day most likely for this to be possible, so maybe not). Also my friend offered to remove Mary's stitches so we will work that in too.

I am LONGING for a boring night of TV watching, but all of the rest of this is pretty awesome.

I'd show you a picture of my bell pepper and all my little baby lettuce sprouts, and the way Mary folded an English Muffin in half and called it a taco, and the hilariously misspelled game of Scrabble Charley and Wes played last night, and the picture of Mary trying to drag all the boys' backpacks to the car the other morning because they forgot and she remembers those kinds of details, and the way Charley and Wes devised a way to pull the plasma car behind a bike, which was hilariously fun until they tried to go down a steep driveway, shot out into the middle of the culdesac, then wiped out, causing Wes to slide many feet across the asphalt and scratch his leg all to hell. By the time I got all the other kids inside (It was dinnertime anyway) Ryan had him up on the counter eating a popsicle while he gently cleaned him up. All the other kids brought Wes their lovies one by one. I love them so much. And again, I'd show you pictures of all that, but FLICKR ARGH HULK SMASH.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Wednesday night is now choir night for Ryan and the boys, so this Wednesday I dropped the kids off at church (they can now just run to their rooms straight from the car, which is life changing), picked up Ryan (whose choir meets later), and drove us to a restaurant for dinner. Ryan and Mary and I had a little mid-week Chinese food date and it was lovely as lovely as dinner with a tired three year old can be. And then we returned to church, picked up the boys, said goodbye to Ryan, and I drove us home. When we got home around 7:30 my biggest concern was whether I could get everyone in bed before NOVA came on at 8:00. I told everyone to go straight inside and up the stairs to brush their teeth then opened Mary's door to let her out. Of course she wanted to do everything herself, so I was feeling impatient but resolved to let her do it because I'm trying to focus on not being such a screechy shrew lately.

When she was getting out of the car, she tried to jump, and before I could stop her, fell out of the open door, still holding on to the hand hold, swung around like a crazed chimpanzee, and smashed her face on the edge of the driver's side door.

Like most instances when the kids have minor accidents, I found this momentarily annoying and worried it would derail our bedtime plans. Until she turned around to face me with her ENTIRE FACE COVERED WITH BLOOD.

I THREW everything I'd been holding (my phone, my purse, a glass of water, Mary's school bag) and scooped her into my arms, told the other kids "I need you all to come with me RIGHT NOW. It's an EMERGENCY." and ran across the street to the house of my friend, who is a nurse.

Since it was after bedtime, her husband was surprised to see Charley streak across their front lawn to their door. He opened the door curiously and looked up just in time to see me approaching with a bloodied and sniffling Mary.

"OH." he said. Then ran to get my friend.

We set her up on the kitchen island while the other kids watched Mickey Mouse Club (which they presumably turned on to distract James, who was running around the kitchen asking loudly if Mary was going to die). She carefully cleaned all the blood off Mary's face with some gauze pads and inspected the giant cut on her right eyebrow.

Mary was unimpressed. "I have a boo boo" she said casually "I wanna watch TV."

Did you know that I briefly considered going to nursing school instead of studying engineering? I always wonder what that would have been like. Watching my friend handle my bloody child with calm fascination as I stood uselessly aside and made stupid jokes to cover up the horror that was slowly creeping around my brain confirmed that I made the right choice. I am good at other things.

My friend told us she needed stitches and offered to come sit with the other kids so I could go to urgent care. My hands were still shaking when I called Ryan and asked him to meet us there (no choir for you! Our child has a hole in her face!). Mary chattered happily as blood slowly oozed from her face. "I have a boo boo! We go to da doctor!" When I told Ryan over the phone that I wanted to go to the place by a restaurant called "Donuts Tacos" Mary made up a song called "I like donuts I like tacos!"

She was DELIGHTED to see Ryan waiting for us at the urgent care. "PAPA IS AT THE DOCTOR TOO! HI PAPA!" she screeched at playground volume as we walked in the door. She loved everything. The pictures on the walls! Nemo on the TV! She exclaimed "I HAVE A BIIIIIIG BOO BOO!" when the nurse approached her in the waiting room. I left her with Ryan and headed home to stay with the other kids. Ryan said she was just as chirpy and excited as they walked back to the room, loved getting on the scale, climbed right up onto the table, happily let the doctor examine the boo boo, gleefully put on a gown over her tshirt and shorts, then started sobbing pitifully when they made her lie down, covered her face with a drape, and gave her a shot in the forehead.

Three stitches. I was so happy when they got home. Mary was thrilled to show me her new Anna Elsa stickers and Halloween themed rubber duck. She is quick to forgive, that one.

Ryan had to give her a bath yesterday morning to get all the blood out of her hair before school. Parenting is magical.

Also, they didn't put a bandaid on it at Urgent Care so I thought that's what we were supposed to do and sent her to school like that but when I picked her up it had gotten slightly puffy and the stitches were pulling on her skin like some kind of Halloween decoration so I asked our nanny to text her mom (who is a PA at the same urgent care place) and ask if we could put a bandaid on it because NO. Just no. And turns out she CAN have a bandaid. This is wonderful news. *shudder*

The next day (yesterday) was one long epic fail that I will get into another time, but I'm sure being whisked off to bed with the image of their sister covered in blood still fresh in their minds did not lead to a restful night's sleep. At least I hope that explains all the correspondance with the principal about one kid and the fact that I had to pick up another kid in the middle of the morning and take him home for a BATH (as my friend Sarah says, there's a first time for everything!). Thankfully I already had a girls' night planned at my house because DANG.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

I rowed on Thursday and Friday mornings last week, which was a hellish form of wonderful that left me starving and sore going into both my classes at the end of the week. On Thursday I rowed with an intermediate boat that took us on a two-hour tour of the lake complete with speed drills and a sprint between two bridges that took place at the end of the workout when I already thought I was going to die. The coxwain sang "I've Got Rhythm" by Gershwin while we all pulled for our lives.

But I loved it. And also I was glad when the next day's crew were a more laid back group (but it was still hella hard). Some of them had even, as I had, covered their hands with tape to protect the enormous blisters. I did not cover my legs with tape, but apparently that would have been a good idea because when I got into the shower I felt a sting and looked down to find a two-inch stripe of skin rubbed off on the outside of each calf. I feel like a real athlete!

On Friday morning the Juniors were at the boathouse starting their season, which meant there were about fifty teenagers hanging around in front of the bay doors, stretching and milling around in little groups. The leader of the boat I was on told us that she wanted to get back to the boathouse before the Juniors were done because the Juniors were "none too snappy" with the four showers in the locker room that we all relied on to get ready for work.

(I think the problem I had with my workouts on my own, before rowing, is that I could sometimes put my work clothes on right afterward, with no shower. This is not the case with rowing, where I first take a cold shower to stop the flood of sweat coming out of my body (I have, honestly, never seen my kNEES sweat before but SWEAT THEY DO) before then cranking up the heat to wash my hair and face.

We got back to the boathouse just as the Juniors were finishing up and when I arrived in the locker room I found all showers occupied. I got out my towel and shampoo and took off as much clothing as I dared (which was my shoes and socks) and waited for a shower to open up. I got behind the curtain, peeled off my shorts and sports bra with a surprising amount of effort, and took a hasty shower then wrapped up in my towel and jumped out so the next person could get in only to find that ALL OF MY ADULT CREWMATES HAD ABANDONED ME, leaving me in a roomful of teenage girls in undies and sports bras.

I stood there wrapped in my towel, dripping onto the floor, wondering what I was supposed to do. Two of the girls were spending their getting ready time staring at their own reflections and lamenting how "hideous" they looked.

"OMG I look so gross!" said the tall slender one, with the perfect natural highlights and amazing cheekbones.

"I know, I am so sweaty and disgusting!" said the adorable petite one, with the perky ponytail of thick brown hair.

Things continued in this manner as I cast my gaze around the room trying to determine how to get into my underwear without scandalizing a roomful of fifteen year olds.

Ultimately I settled on pulling my undies on under my towel and then putting my bra on over the towel before shimmying my towel down and off. The all I had to do was put on my dress. Which, when you are still slightly damp from shower/sweat and trying to simultaneously act cool, hurry, and not let anyone see your worn out middle-aged lady underthings, is no small feat.

The first attempt went moderately well except for the fact that I put my dress on backwards. And then in the flurry of activity it took to get it off, I managed to turn the whole thing inside out.

Fortunately the two supermodels standing eighteen inches away from me seemed oblivious to my struggle, and my Hanes Her Way cotton underwear.

Once I got my freaking dress turned back the right way out, I pulled it over my head where a combination of sweat and moisture from the humid locker room air caused it to come alive and lock itself around my elbows and face like a python. My arms, spaghetti-like after two massive rows in two days, wanted to concede defeat and let us die right there in that locker room, but after a short struggle, I managed to free myself and shimmy the dress down around my hips.

I was as sweaty and out of breath as I had been before my shower but still managed to blow my hair dry and drag my body up a hill to the car. Next week I will be bringing a skirt and top.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

We're gonna have to make this short, friends, because I rowed with an "intermediate" boat this morning and I think I might die if I go to bed after nine PM tonight. It was all I could do to stumble through a seventy-five minute lecture on basic statistics applied to climate data this afternoon. I mean. I mean, I find the normal distribution fascinating, but I've done this long enough to know when I've totally left my class in the dust.

We went on a little road trip to Houston this weekend to visit some friends and go to a family reunion pool party at Ryan's uncle's house. We decided to make a weekend of it so we could see some of our Houston friends and also so the kids could go crazy at the Embassy Suites breakfast buffet.

This was good because we got to the hotel at nearly eleven PM after a fun dinner with our friends Heather and Charlie, who are grad school friends, and their kids, and the kids needed to power through the day on pure sugar and adrenaline rather than sleep.

Our first stop Saturday was my friend Helen's house, which is surrounded on three sides by a wonderful garden. Helen and I met in high school, in band, in the nineties. Now she is an oceanographer who likes to sew and paint and garden. I always love our visits. She gave the kids guava juice in wine goblets then put them to work hanging out the wash and weeding the garden.

While the kids worked she showed us around and gave us samples of all her veggies. It was a DREAM GARDEN.

Then we sat on her porch and drank coffee. I wish we were neighbors. I guess we'll have to settle for neighboring cities for now.

The kids had a rest on a quilt in the sun.

Our next stop was to have lunch with our friend Peter, who Ryan and I met in undergrad when we sang in his choir together. He shares our appreciation for good food so we met up at a good barbecue place I went to on my last visit to Houston when we launched weather balloons. The kids managed to amuse themselves while we caught up.

And then the late night caught up with Wes and James.

I have never once in my life left any BBQ behind on any plate ever.

The ride to the party was nice and quiet.

The kids disappeared shortly after we arrived and showed up later in the pool, where they stayed until it was time to leave around eight o'clock. I was enjoying talking to some of Ryan's cousins when the host came over to ask me "Where did Charley find that crawfish?" This was a surprise to me (though perhaps it should not have been) since I had just seen him in the pool not two seconds before. Sure enough I found him inside the house, walking around showing people a crawfish in a red solo cup.

(Turns out Ryan's uncle wanted to make sure Charley wasn't messing around in "the pond" because he had seen some venomous snakes there. NBD)

"Where did Charley find the crawfish?" became one of our taglines of the trip. The other one was Wes's declaration that "I don't brush my teeth in hotels."

The kids swam until it got dark while we hung out with Ryan's aunt and uncles and parents and cousins. It was so nice to see everyone and then it was hard to leave, but we had to because the kids were running on FUMES.

They took over both beds that night at the second hotel.

And then Mary got up at 5:30. Ryan took her to the lobby. The rest of us joined them around 8:00, where Ryan and I spent a leisurely two hours reading the paper while the kids wrecked the place. They had a Texas waffle maker. Another tagline, James: "MOOOOMMMM!!! THIS THING MADE MY PANCAkE LOOk LIkE THE COUNTRY OF *TEXAS*"

The drive home was a little fighty, but we stopped for pizza downtown and pulled into the driveway right about bedtime on Sunday. Monday was supposed to be a lazy day but I decided it would be more fun to plow through some laundry, give everyone hair cuts, and make them help me clean out the car.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Well, now that the kids have been back in school for a few weeks the chickens have really come home to roost.

Which is to say that the unfortunate consequence of THEM starting school is that then *I* have to start school.

One of my classes has been meeting for two weeks. One of my classes has been meeting for one week. I am behind in both of them.

But, today I worked out and showered at the Y after I dropped the kids off and while I waited for the traffic to die down enough that I could get to University II in less time than it takes Wes to finish one of his Minecraft stories and then I got down here so fast that I had enough time to finally go get a taco for "lunch" (at 9:30 am). And WHAT BETTER DAY TO HAVE A TACO FOR "LUNCH" THAN THE DAY AFTER A TR*UMP SURROGATE WHINED THAT IF HILLARY IS ELECTED THERE WILL BE A TACO TRUCk ON EVERY CORNER! It was meant to be.

Tacos are delicious. I'm with her.

I could eat three more of these right now.

Also, the "k" key on my laptop is broken, so I have to keep a "k" on the clipboard and "ctrl-V" every time I need to use it. Unfortunately this means I have to choose whether I want to use lower case or upper case k's for an entire day. Lowercase seems to be more practical.

Anyway, after my taco I found a parking place in the faculty lot, which I used even though it is further than the building I need than the "all permits" parking on the other side of campus, because FACULTY PARkING is cool. And I'm glad I did that because I had to walk across the pretty campus to get to my building and on the way I passed some kind of festival in a courtyard that included an eight piece guitar and strings group playing traditional Mexican music. It was overcast and cool with just a little breeze and my class didn't start for two hours, so I set up my "office" on a bench under a tree and worked there. It was a FANTASTIC way to start a Friday. When the guitar band was done a jazz/blues/funk band played and that was awesome too. I may have sent gloaty texts to several friends and Ryan. Look at me! I'm outside listening to a band! At WORk!

View from my "office"

And now a brief summary of how everyone else is doing:

%#@%$@FESFAT#%@ is the noise James makes after I pick him up from school every day until it is time to go to bed. kindergarten wipe out syndrome is so delightful. I want to do it ten more times.

Charley and Wes seem to be doing alright and proudly declare "no principal visits today!" when they get in the car. Way to aim high, kids! But seriously, they are doing awesome and I love love love to hear what they are learning about at school.

Mary loves school and loves her friends and loves the five minutes we have together between the boys' dropoff and hers. She also loves screaming. SO MUCH WITH THE SCREAMING. Something to work on?

This picture of Wes's fish "Fear" popped up on my phone today.

Everyone was in a cooperative mood for the college shirt day morning photoshoot on Wednesday. (%#@%$@FESFAT#%@)

And now I have to go (office hours in my indoor office are over) and get Ryan and the kids so we can go on a short road trip this weekend. Where I will try not to obsess about the four inch pile of grading I have accumulated in the last ten days.

Me

The Odd Couple

Charlie (on the right) and Wes. On the beginning of Animal House, Charlie would be in the frat with the navy blazers and oxfords while Wes would be on double secret probation. They laugh, they cry, they have mud fights, they encourage each other to dance naked on the patio table. Most of all, they are brothers and they love each other. Violently.

The Kid who Thinks He's Still a Baby

James loves Mary, his brothers, and his parents, in that order. He's fiercely independent, but will tell anyone who will listen that he's still a baby. He's Mary's number one fan and has a doll he likes to dress in her clothes.

Baby Girl

Mary was born in August, the youngest and a girl in a house full of testosterone. She is laid back and happy and totally impervious to noise.

The Husband

Ryan, husband extroidanaire, smartypants engineer, throws small children many feet into the air, appreciates all attempts at cooking, "the fun one", supports the family with a smile, makes great pies.