How I see it!

The not so happy Gay Alcoholic.

This is my story. I am not a professional therapist, just a guy who fell in love with an alcoholic.

So I had eventually moved out, William had been on a bad bender, and it took him two days to recover. In those first two days I turned off my mobile phone, to this day not sure were I got the courage to walk away and, stay away. I kept myself busy by going to the office and working all my loneliness away. I had no friends who I could trust, my family live far away. I felt ashamed.

So I did texted William eventually and I was promised this was the last time. I had heard this before, but holding onto empty promises we eventually met up and I agreed to move back. I however did not move back completely, I moved into the spare bedroom.

Two weeks later we boarded a plane and flew out to an amazing remote resort. In my mind I though this would be the answer, it was ultimately the breaking point.

We had an extended weekend away and were isolated in the mountains, we were not close, I still had anger, resentment but when you battling to keep you head above the rapids, you don’t think rationally. All was good for the first couple of days, we laid around watching movies, and walked in this idyllic place, i have never felt so alone before. It was quiet, but we were too quiet. We did not talk, we avoided talking about the drinking. In my mind I believed that if I confronted the subject, drinking would follow. I was not thinking rationally.

On the Sunday we got into the hire car, and headed out for lunch. We never had lunch, William went on a bender, he soon made friends, with some strangers at the bar, adjoining the restaurant. After a couple of hours, William chased me away as I was not joining the “fun”, the drinking. I headed back to the place we were staying. I was numb, alone and far away from home.

I don’t recall what I did the next couple of hours. At about midnight, there was knock on the door. William was standing outside, he had been in a fight, there was blood all over his clothes, he was also drunk. To this day, he does not recall any of the events after I left, he actually does not recall chasing me away. The persons who had beaten him up had brought him back to we’re we were staying, demanding money and telling me, that OUR sort are not welcome. He was referring to being gay., and not in such a polite way. William is a big guy and tall. So he must have tried to defend himself in a fight and maybe even started the fight. We will never know. It could have been worse.