Dreams & Desire

Dreams are birthed from desire. They’re sustained by desire too. But desire can be so elusive. One day I wake up with so much excitement about my dream I can’t hold it in. And another morning I can barely remember what my dream was.

Desire is suspicious, especially when we haven’t claimed our dream yet. Is it really a “God-sized” dream? Is it selfish? Is it unattainable? Am I up for it?

Sometimes the more we desire a thing, the more suspect that thing seems. But desire is the sprout that grows from the seed God plants in our heart. It might not look like much. It’s pretty fragile. But its green, fresh new life holds out the promise of something amazing. When we claim desire, we begin to nurture it, and it begins to grow.{<==click to tweet}

Along the way, we quickly learn that dreams are a lot of hard work. In the middle of all the sweat, we can forget the desire that brought us to the dream in the first place. There have been days when I haven’t really wanted my dream anymore. As I pondered this strange dichotomy, days my love and enthusiasm for my dream were abounding and days I despised my dream, I began to realize the role of desire.

When our dreams become disconnected from the original desire that birthed them, they begin to wilt.{<==click to tweet}

Let me use one of my own God-sized dreams as an example . . .

For years I dreamed of hosting a retreat for women. The dream was birthed out of a deep desire to create a weekend of community, safety, encouragement, and joy. I love encouraging women! Three years ago, I took the first feeble, excited steps toward making that dream come true, and Winsome was born!

That first year felt somewhat like skydiving. I just jumped and trusted my parachute (God). I was full of blissful ignorance and excitement. It was exhilarating!

The second year was hard. It felt more like a long climb up a steep mountain. I knew the view at the top was going to be worth it, but boy was it tough getting there.

This year has felt like labor. And like labor, there have been many times I would have walked away if I could have. But this baby is going to be born! So I keep breathing deep and remembering the joy of past retreats.

In the middle of some really rough patches, I’ve had to recover my desire. I often remind God that my hope has always been to write and speak, not to be an event planner. As you can imagine, there are a myriad of details that go into planning even just a weekend retreat. When those details are all I focus on, my desire gets lost.

So I’ve learned to ask myself this question . . . “To what end?” To what end is this endeavor? (A simpler way of asking could just be “Why?” but I like how pondering “To what end?” sounds). Asking this question brings me back to the beginning and back to my desire.

“To what end is Winsome?” “Why Winsome?”

Well that’s easy! I want to encourage women. I want to create a weekend of community, safety, encouragement, and joy. I love encouraging women!

And my desire is recovered. Suddenly, all those pesky details are infused with purpose. They become the means to a beautiful end, and I find strength to keep moving forward.

Has your desire got lost in the details of your God-sized dream? What was the desire that birthed your dream? How can that desire inform your labor?

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About Kim Hyland

Kim Hyland is a writer and speaker, the founder and host of Winsome, an annual retreat for women, and the founder of Five-Fifteen, an organization fighting human sex trafficking through corporate prayer. She is also Jeff’s wife, a mom to five sons and one daughter, mother-in-love to three, and Amelia and Eli’s grandma! Kim’s passions are to love her family and friends well and encourage women through speaking and writing about her imperfect path and God’s perfect plans. Connect with Kim at her blog Winsome Woman and on Facebook , Twitter & Instagram.

Comments

This thought is so powerful, Kim, “When our dreams become disconnected from the original desire that birthed them, they begin to wilt.” That is true in so many ways. And it makes me go back and consider where my dreams were birthed and how I can rejuvenate new life into some of them…with God’s help. Blessings today! Love this post and wishing you nothing but continued success for Winsome to encourage many sisters! <3

Thank you, Meredith! It really has been a powerful and motivating thought in my own life. I’m amazed how some of the most difficult places have been reenergized by considering the “lost” desire that lay behind them. It really infuses meaning and purpose into those places and helps me persevere! Thanks for your encouragement 🙂

This was so thought provoking, Kim and brought clarity to a path I’m walking right now. Getting back to the first fruits of the dream and the desire that bore it when some of the joy had been lost at the cost of the labor. The dream can feel foggy if you lose sight of the purpose, can’t it?! Thank you for the direction and insight!

“the joy had been lost at the cost of the labor.” THAT is too high a price. Makes me think how we need to protect our joy in the midst of our labor. As I walk into the next busy three weeks of preparation before Winsome, this will be a red flag for me to stop, rest, and refocus. Thank you, Tiffany!

Great post Kim. I can identify with this! “Along the way, we quickly learn that dreams are a lot of hard work. In the middle of all the sweat, we can forget the desire that brought us to the dream in the first place.” Thank you for letting us in and helping us learn in the process. Hope you have a fantastic Winsome Retreat!

This is such a learning process isn’t it, Katie?! And maybe the process is the real plan. It reminds me of something Holley wrote in her GSD book to the effect of “the real purpose of our God-sized dream is our relationship with Jesus.” I love how He forms our hearts as we work beside Him!

It is so wearying to chase these dreams. My home season is losing naptimes…and those were worktimes. So now I have to wake before them if I want to pursue it. The exhaustion. To what end? Let’s make that goal simple for now: to be able to able to sponsor another compassion child and to get flooring over our sub floor by July.