Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Lamaze Method

[Midwife: n. mid(with) + wif(woman) One who assists in or takes a part in bringing about a result.]

Midwife: "It's just the early stage, nothing to worry about yet. Deep breath in and slowly let it out. Good."

Mama: "It's beginning already?"

Midwife: "Inevitable from the moment you conceived her" she smiled. "At first it will be just like this, manageable pain from time to time--nothing you can't handle, nothing you can't breathe through."

Mama: "Okay, I'm going to trust you on that since you've been through this yourself. Oh--it's coming again. Just breathe deeply, right?"

Midwife: "Yep, just breathe. Slowly in, slowly out. Relax. You can do this."

Mama: "It's getting worse. That one was much more painful. I wasn't ready for that. What do I do?????" she begged, panic clearly evident in her voice.

Midwife: "The most important thing is to stay calm. Remember that it's all going to be okay. She's just letting you know she's ready. I know it hurts--keep calm. It's going to hurt worse before it gets better--but it will get better. Do you trust me?"

Mama: "Yes? The pains are coming more quickly now! I don't know if I can do this!"

Midwife: "Yes, you can. The pain only lasts a short time compared to the lifetime relationship you're going to have with her. Don't concentrate on the pain, concentrate on the outcome. And breathe!"

Mama: "Oh God, this hurts! Please, isn't there something to ease the pain?"

Midwife: "It's healthier for you both if you can go without. I know it hurts like hell, but you will live through this. Women have been doing this for millennia without drugs."

Mama: "She's ready! But I'm not--I don't want to do this!"

Midwife: "No turning back now. Push."

Mama: "I don't think I can do this. It hurts so much . . . I feel it, I have to push . . . "

Midwife: "Breathe. Now, push--again, push! Look--she's out! She's healthy and ready to be out of the womb! Cut the umbilical cord, she's doing fine on her own!"

Mama: Crying, "She's beautiful. Her first apartment, handling her bills and obligations on her own. She's just beautiful. You were right, she was ready to be out on her own. Thank you . . . "