nekom:Babwa Wawa: I can't fathom the death of either of my children. I expect I'd crack as well.

Yeah, this. If he feels some comfort in this somehow, good for him. The rest of us are all well aware that this is nothing but a photography artifact.

I've never understood this line of thinking. The grieving process is the grieving process, and the sooner we face it the better off we'll be emotionally. Allowing for people to find comfort in make believe is selfish on our parts because we see pain in the other person and want it to stop. It makes US, the observer, feel better. But really, the only thing that will make it end is going through the grieving process, and "finding comfort" tends to delay that.

SurfaceTension:I've never understood this line of thinking. The grieving process is the grieving process, and the sooner we face it the better off we'll be emotionally. Allowing for people to find comfort in make believe is selfish on our parts because we see pain in the other person and want it to stop. It makes US, the observer, feel better. But really, the only thing that will make it end is going through the grieving process, and "finding comfort" tends to delay that.

Well, I've never really understood your line of thinking. What is the right thing to do here, according to you? Verbally biatchslap him for indulging in the fantasy that his son exists in an afterlife? How do you deal with religious people?

People construct fantasies to deal with grief and depression all the time. I fail to see the harm in the fantasy itself, as long as there is no definitive action taken on it.

SurfaceTension:I've never understood this line of thinking. The grieving process is the grieving process, and the sooner we face it the better off we'll be emotionally. Allowing for people to find comfort in make believe is selfish on our parts because we see pain in the other person and want it to stop. It makes US, the observer, feel better. But really, the only thing that will make it end is going through the grieving process, and "finding comfort" tends to delay that.

You're probably right, but even still I'm not going to criticize someone going through unimaginable grief, who knows where their head is?

Babwa Wawa:Well, I've never really understood your line of thinking. What is the right thing to do here, according to you? Verbally biatchslap him for indulging in the fantasy that his son exists in an afterlife? How do you deal with religious people?

I think this kind of wishful thinking is a big reason why religion persists.

How do I deal with people like this on an individual basis? It depends on the closeness to the person. An acquaintance would probably get an empathetic "that's nice" type of response. A close friend or relative I would (and have) tactfully point out that the most important thing now is to work through the process, and be there while they go through that.

I certainly don't criticize them for wanting it to be different...as the poster above pointed out, their head is going in about 8 different directions all at once, which makes it all the more important to point them in a productive direction.

Obviously I sound like a bit of an asshole here, and that's more because of how it's coming across. My intent isn't that, and it isn't to make them feel better now. I'm a big Humanist, and I believe that grieving (and forgiving) are intrinsic to our humanity. Anything that gets in the way of that makes it more difficult in the long run, even if it does provide some temporary relief or comfort.

SurfaceTension:nekom: Babwa Wawa: I can't fathom the death of either of my children. I expect I'd crack as well.

Yeah, this. If he feels some comfort in this somehow, good for him. The rest of us are all well aware that this is nothing but a photography artifact.

I've never understood this line of thinking. The grieving process is the grieving process, and the sooner we face it the better off we'll be emotionally. Allowing for people to find comfort in make believe is selfish on our parts because we see pain in the other person and want it to stop. It makes US, the observer, feel better. But really, the only thing that will make it end is going through the grieving process, and "finding comfort" tends to delay that.

Not really. Such stories give hope to some that an afterlife exists and they'll see their passed loved ones again.

SurfaceTension:Babwa Wawa: Well, I've never really understood your line of thinking. What is the right thing to do here, according to you? Verbally biatchslap him for indulging in the fantasy that his son exists in an afterlife? How do you deal with religious people?

I think this kind of wishful thinking is a big reason why religion persists.

How do I deal with people like this on an individual basis? It depends on the closeness to the person. An acquaintance would probably get an empathetic "that's nice" type of response. A close friend or relative I would (and have) tactfully point out that the most important thing now is to work through the process, and be there while they go through that.

I certainly don't criticize them for wanting it to be different...as the poster above pointed out, their head is going in about 8 different directions all at once, which makes it all the more important to point them in a productive direction.

Obviously I sound like a bit of an asshole here, and that's more because of how it's coming across. My intent isn't that, and it isn't to make them feel better now. I'm a big Humanist, and I believe that grieving (and forgiving) are intrinsic to our humanity. Anything that gets in the way of that makes it more difficult in the long run, even if it does provide some temporary relief or comfort.

Pareidolia (/pærɨˈdoʊliə/ parr-i-DOH-lee-ə) is a psychological phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus (often an image or sound) being perceived as significant, a form of apophenia. Common examples include seeing images of animals or faces in clouds, the man in the moon or the Moon rabbit, and hearing hidden messages on records when played in reverse.

Russ1642:Know how I know it's not a ghost? Ghosts don't exist, dumbasses!

here was a seminar on "Psychic Phenomena" going on, when the speaker decided to involve the audience. He first asked, "Everyone who has ever seen a ghost, please stand up." Well, nearly the entire audience stood up.He then asked, "Everyone who has ever had a close encounter with a ghost, please remain standing." About 2 dozen people were still standing.He then asked how many people had been in the same room as a ghost and 6 people stood up.Finally he asked, "Anyone who has ever had SEX with a ghost, please remain standing." Everyone sat down except this one man.When the speaker demanded if he had REALLY had sex with a ghost, the guy replied, "Oh, I am very sorry, I thought you said GOAT

SurfaceTension:nekom: Babwa Wawa: I can't fathom the death of either of my children. I expect I'd crack as well.

Yeah, this. If he feels some comfort in this somehow, good for him. The rest of us are all well aware that this is nothing but a photography artifact.

I've never understood this line of thinking. The grieving process is the grieving process, and the sooner we face it the better off we'll be emotionally. Allowing for people to find comfort in make believe is selfish on our parts because we see pain in the other person and want it to stop. It makes US, the observer, feel better. But really, the only thing that will make it end is going through the grieving process, and "finding comfort" tends to delay that.

People find comfort from sources that others find illogical all the time. Why qualify it with those who are specifically grieving?

mbillips:Like everyone else who has "seen" a ghost, the father is deluded, mistaken or a liar.

No, he's just wrong. I've seen a LOT of things that I can't explain, I just know enough not to jump to woo conclusions. I've seen things that a lesser educated person would certainly believe are paranormal.

Highroller48:mbillips: Like everyone else who has "seen" a ghost, the father is deluded, mistaken or a liar.

This. All of those "medium" shows do nothing but perpetuate groundless superstition, irrationality, and base emotionalism by giving false hope to desperate people.

There are 4 things that don't exists that the Human race seriously need to come to grips with:-Magic-Ghosts-Psychics-Deities

A belief in the supernatural is a sign of our lingering psychological infancy.

A good friend admitted to me he thought David Copperfield really could levitate things and make things disappear. "He is one guy who I believe has a gift". With one link to a site that explained exactly how David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear, I dashed all his hopes of real magic in the world.

My son died in March of this year. It is unbearable and good for this father for finding something to get him through another day. I can tell the "grieving process" discussed upthread is by someone that has never lost a child. There are no processes, especially around the holidays for a parent that will be going through their first Thanksgiving and Christmas without their child.