AS I told my colleagues about my weekend plans last Friday I had no idea that I was sitting on a secret that had my straight mates in an inquisitive flap.

“I’m going to a gay bucks party,” I told them.

Suddenly I could see the faces of the men and women around me light up. They didn’t want to make it look obvious that they were interested in hearing more, but the curiosity was burning through their eyes.

They didn’t need to say it immediately, but all of a sudden I realised that an event that was becoming fairly normal to me was a world away from many others in this country. How many people can say they’ve attended a gay wedding before, let alone a gay bucks party?

I could see the scenarios rolling through their brains. A Hangover-style squad of gay men let loose on the streets with too many vodka cruisers and cosmopolitans in their systems. Penis hats and short shorts and a shot of tequila or three. Giant orgies and squealing queens in cocktail suits.

As I held up costume options for the party I could sense a growing urge from my colleagues to know more. Despite the fact this weekend’s bucks party was a slightly more demure affair than previous parties, the Monopoly theme options of angel wings (Angel of Islington for any Monopoly fans out there) or a dog mask (Scottie the dog token) left others’ imaginations go wild.

Everyone wanted to know today, how did the bucks party go? Were there women? Was it one giant orgy? Did the grooms hold it together?

“I think it would be basically like a girl’s hens, with dick-themed straws and toys and dirty drinking games,” my straightest mate and colleague, Matthew Dunn (Dunny), told me.

“I also think it would be like going to a gay club with heaps of dudes with their shirts off, dancing to music like Cher, Kylie Minogue.”

Bless. How many cliches can you pack in one punch? Are we that obvious?

“It’s just a new concept I have never thought about previously, only because gay marriage wasn’t a thing, not because I hate the homosexuals,” Dunny defended.

I asked Dunny that if I was getting married and asked him to organise my bucks party, would he feel up to the challenge as a straight mate?

“I would definitely feel like I have too much of a straight perspective and wouldn’t have any idea of what to include — I’d be too worried, I would make it too straight or offensive because it’s too gay,” he told me.

“I know what it’s like for a straight man, but is it the same for a gay man?”

When there’s no penis straws, you have penis cake.Source:news.com.au

Bless his cotton socks. The conversation came as a surprise because the reality is that gay marriage is really no different to straight marriage — and that goes for bucks and hens parties as well. Picking the right card might just be your biggest hurdle.

Though when Dunny told me it would be “sacrilege” to invite a woman to a straight bucks party, I thought maybe we might have a few differences between us.

I’ve attended some beautiful gay weddings and a couple of bucks parties in my time with another gay wedding on its way next month.

I’ve never attended a heterosexual bucks party — in fact I’ve only ever attended Hens parties, so my perspective may be a little off.

Last year I attended the wedding of my gay Australian friends in Sweden, Mitch and Chris and prior to the event we celebrated by marching in Pride while I made out with a Swedish Viking in leather lederhosen (he looked like a Viking anyway. A lot of men do in Sweden, hot tip).

The boys chose not to hold separate events likely because we all came from one group of friends. Why split the party when you can have double the fun?

After the festivities the happy couple, who moved to Sweden a couple of years back during the battle for gay marriage, held a picnic for all of the guests and we basically got pissed in a park and played fun drinking games.

While I certainly would not be opposed to a “dick-themed straw” as my straight mate suggested, us gays like to go the whole hog. Penis cake, any one?

By the end of the night we were all fairly slaughtered in a Swedish club somewhere and stumbled home in the early hours. I’m pretty sure our pants were still on, dignity still intact.

It was a beautiful wedding — and not just because of the Viking.

The bucks party this weekend was slightly more demure, though I didn’t see the end of it (I had tickets to Mamma Mia — could I get any gayer?).

Dunny had asked me whether both grooms have separate bucks events “and can’t attend the others”. I believe it’s situational. Though personally, if I was getting married, I would expect to have one party while my future husband had his own. But every one is different and so is every love story.

This time the bucks held separate parties, with one who is Irish celebrating with his mates on St Patrick’s Day.

My mate, the non-Irish one, had his party a week later, though Mr Irish did eventually turn up at the end of the night.

When it came to the sex of attendees, both males and females can attend, we’re not biased when it comes to gender at bucks parties.

I’ve never experienced a stripper at a gay bucks before, I tell him, but perhaps the novelty of a stripper is far less raunchy for us gays — all we need to do is go to our local gay bar and find a gogo boy. Topless dudes are fun but the reality is for the gays, they’re rather tame.

“But what if there is a stripper, is it a dude like females have at a hen parties?” Dunny asks.

Dah, Dunny. Yes, gays would employ guy strippers, unless you’re a lesbian. Then whip out the ladies. Same same but different.

There were cute games where the future husband of my mate, Matt, had to try and match his answers to questions like: “What part of his body do you find the sexiest”? Or: “Which celebrity is his hall pass”?

In all seriousness, there’s no set rule or agenda when it comes to gay bucks or weddings. Except for maybe a hangover, the outcome is not black or white. Gay or straight.

Rainbow flags don’t need to be raining from the sky nor do we need to be riding a giant penis effigy to celebrate the union of two people.

The reality is that whether there are women, or men, or two parties, or one, the feeling and outcome is still the same: If you’re already in a relationship you cherish the opportunity to get pissed and remember what it was like to be that in love, while if you’re single you get the opportunity to get pissed and wished you were in love.