22 July 2018

When Sabrina and I hosted the first ever ‘Healing of the Heart’ retreat
in the fall of 2015, I never in one million years would have thought it
would do what it has for the now 100 bereaved heart angel mamas that
have attended over the past four retreats.

We went into this blindly, desperate to feel a connection with others whose hearts were shattered – but who knew this wasn’t the way the rest of our lives should be. Life would have to go on, and we’d need to find our tribe of people to make it through, and not just survive – but LIVE.

Learn all over how to love hard, laugh out loud, and find purpose in our grief.

I can tell you that other than Hayden’s life, this journey I am on with campaigning for a retreat house of our own has been the biggest roller coaster of my existence. Never have I felt so many ups and downs – two steps forward and five steps back - huge highs, and even bigger lows – and the thought of quitting crosses my mind SEVERAL times a week. I’ve heard NO more times with this than I have with everything else in my life - combined.

But God. He Keeps whispering YES. He keeps giving me the strength to continue. The strength to put myself out there for what could possibly be another BIG FAT NO – but one that could be THE ONE – the YES we need to make it all come to life.

The 2018 summer Healing of the Heart retreat He sent 25 women to touch
my soul – to encourage my heart – to keep me fighting for this crazy
outlandish dream of having a house where we can support broken hearts
year round – and build them up, helping them on their healing journey.

As I sit in a coffee shop, tears already streaming, I am remembering the days I spent with these BRAVE women who once again poured their hearts out – shared and bared it all – about the most precious parts of their life. Once again the stories they shared ripped at my heart – made me feel my loss and the pain of those first few unbearable years all over again. The shock – the physical pain – the absence in their hearts. It was all so real – and so raw. But they all came from all over the country because they wanted to begin to HEAL. They wanted to find a way to live their best life – again.

Four years in and I STILL cannot find a way to truly explain or describe this retreat. Whenever I come home, my friends and family always lovingly ask – ‘So, how was the retreat?’ And I often pause…hmmm…How do I put it into words. And this year before I got to respond with ‘Oh it was great’, one of my bests spoke first and simply asked… ‘Mission Accomplished?’

Yes. YES !!!! Yes it was. Beyond. We once again provided these beautiful women with a safe sacred space to speak freely – to cry – laugh – dance – scream … and ultimately begin to heal. These women were like magnets – their connections so strong within just 4 days together. Simply because they understand each others’ hearts. A sisterhood was once again formed and so yes, MISSION definitely ACCOMPLISHED!!

I always start and end each of our retreats thanking these courageous women for trusting in us – for taking the leap to attend a retreat where they most likely know no one – but know how badly their heart needs it. Hayden and his legacy has paved the way and the confidence, but these women – these 100 women who are all a part of the ‘club’ that no one wants to belong to, but because these are their cards, are all so thankful to have one another – they are truly the inspiration and driving force behind this house. This fall we will welcome yet another 25 bereaved heart mamas – and we are still just scratching the surface in heart loss, let alone all other losses. I live for the day we have a home of our own where we can provide this space to women, men, siblings, families – of all losses and from all parts of the world – because every bereaved parent ought to have a ‘mission accomplished’ weekend – and every broken heart deserves to learn how to live their best life – again.