Pages

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Well I am finally getting caught up on my to do list!
I have been learning how to operate my new cellphone. On the list was to find an easier way to blog using my phone. This morning I think that I finally got it...so this is the official test post

Saturday, July 28, 2012

I find it is so much easier to make a decision when I have more information... of course a lot of the information most of us need in life is information about ourselves. You know stuff like what we really want, where we really want to go, or who we really want to be this time, this week or today.... once we have that information we can make better fitting decisions more quickly because we know what we want. Try negotiating without knowing - guess who wins --- yup the other guy!

I happen to love pens and paper, especially unlined thick or handmade paper and good dark black pens or sharpies... call me wierd if you like, I just happen to like them. The swirl of a pen stroke on paper is exciting. When I find myself in those times of indecision, I just mark up paper like its going out of style. I write lots of stuff down, ideas, little sketches, doodles and the like and rambling thoughts...I keep at it until I am finished. Yes, there comes a time when I just feel done. Then I wait a day or so and look over all the seemingly scribbled pages and take the good stuff and make of list of just the good stuff. It is kind of kewl what I get out of those edited scribble pages and lists... I usually know myself better in some way or another and then...bingo, I know my priorities better as well...and for me - Priorities are the key to making better and yet better decisions.

Some times, like when I was considering coming to Nicaragua this month, part of the scribbling pages are budgetting scribbles. Some are the scribblings of concern for the loved ones in my life.

I have been scribbling again, a lot as I am considering the continuation of this current trip and the next couple of months. I have been feeling out of sorts after my travel partner surprised me with the news that they could not continue because the culture shock of Nicaragua was too much for them - and possibly they truely were missing their other loved ones back in the US. They returned to Costa Rica and to my great surprise immediately returned to the USA! I have been traveling in Central America for about 7 years. Last year I visited the East Coast of the US for a few months. I am emotionally tired right now and I long for some familiarity. sooo I have been scribbling and doodling the past few days and have stopped for now. I am clearer about my priorities today and today I gave myself a rest, a good few hours in a pool, a pizza lunch with new girlfriends and a walk in town. I probably will not stay in Granada very long.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A long time ago, during a life transition, I was staying in a challenging household situation. I began walking an hour every single morning, rain or shine in order to make this situation work for me, because changing the situation was not immediately possible. After perhaps 6 months of walking in the dark, the cold and even the rain a car stopped, the window rolled down and the woman inside spoke to me. She told me that she had been watching me every morning for those 6 months and that she thought I was a very courageous person. The encouragement of her viewpoint kept me going another 6 or 8 months longer. I looked up the word courage in the dictionary.Websters defines courage as: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. At that time, I did not consider myself very courageous. I had just left my exhusband which resulted in my loosing contact with my 2 young children. I felt beat down and exhausted from emotional stress at that time and my current living situation, though better, was a different flavor of emotional stress. During that year, I got a job picking flowers on a daffodil farm. I was paid only for the tiny bunches of 10 daffodil buds held together with a rubber band. I was paid either 10 or 20 cents a piece, I don´t recall exactly, though it wasn´t much. I learned to enjoy the process of being paid for what I personally was able to do. I wasn´t paid for my ability to think better than someone else or my ability to fight harder to win some possition. I was paid simply for what I actually and physically did. I loved that job. I loved the walking, the solitude while working, the lunch time comradere with the latino seasonal workers. The lunch time nap in the grass was heavenly. I loved myself. I grew stronger in the knowledge that I was like other people. I was capable. I was normal. and I was couragous for getting up every morning, walking in the dark until I woke up, returning, eating the same ole oatmeal, showering, going to the farm, being blessed to wander each day through those beautiful yellow green fields. Seeing my work pile up at the end of the rows and knowing that I would be rewarded for my efforts.

Courage...

As I travel alone again. Seeing the empty bed of a friend yet another morning, as I continue my journey....Courage as I explore what I want for the next little bit....as I remember who I was, who I am, who I want to be....

Courage to breathe when breathing seems so hard on those days when someone tells you that you are not okay by thier definition. Courage to challenge the blocks that are a disability - courage to continue to wake up, to walk, to smile, to step off the preverbial cliff. (or climb one - okay I will save that AT story for another time)

So I tried to type a blog post with my newer Android phone a few days ago, typed it twice and lost it twice.... I gave up. Sorry to disappoint you.

So I came to Granada, Nicaragua a couple weeks ago. I wanted to explore Nicaragua again as a possible place to set up residency because I live and travel on a limited budget from the United States. I am disabled though it is not physically obvious. I found a hostel that has a month long package deal for a private room, 2 meals a day and spanish lessons 5 days a week. My adult son wanted to tag along, so we bought the package and traveled by bus from the southern pacific coast of Costa Rica to Granada. Not a bad trip, with comfortable air conditioned buses, movies and dinner and the driver helps with the passport process at the border crossing.

I had been to Granada 3 times before and remember liking it alright. IT IS HOT here! OMGosh HOT! and there are sooooo many more tourists than I remember.

My son had only traveled in Costa Rica so far and he experienced imediate and severe culture shock! I told him it was very different and dirtier and with horses - well - smelly. I also mentioned that the market here was an experience that some people cannot handle...well he even had gag-response!

So he left to return to Costa Rica yesterday!

Just goes to show you that different people have different traveling tolerance levels. You might want to consider that before you pay those trip deposits.