next story

Relationship Poll: Slow and Steady or Fast and Furious? Let's Talk.

When it comes to dating and relationships, is it better to dive headlong into something or take it slow?

Take, for instance, my two friends Amy and Laura. They're roommates, best friends, and happen to be on very different relationship tracks. Amy met her man online last winter. They see each other a few times a week, he's been introduced to her family and friends. They haven't defined the relationship yet, but they are unofficially exclusive. It's clear that they care for one another--though neither one of them have dropped the L word--but maybe that's because they're cautious about opening their hearts. All in all, they are the definition of slow and steady.

Then there's Laura. Laura has only been involved with her man for a short time, but "I love yous" have been exchanged and marriage and kids are on the table. Since they've decided to give it a go, they've been talking everyday and are at each other's sides as often as possible. It's an all-consuming love fest, and they have thrown their whole selves into being together.

The other night when I was having a glass of wine with Amy, she said that Laura's relationship was making her doubt her own. Her question to me was: "Just because my relationship looks different, does it mean it's not as meaningful?"

I shook my head and said, "Not necessarily. It's exactly that. It looks different and nothing else. Laura's taking a risk (a beautiful, terrifying one), but they are still getting to know one another. You are taking the slow-burn approach, stoking the fire as you go. Laura is throwing all her kindling into the fire and the blaze is bright and seductive, but once the wind dies down, there's also the possibility that all she'll be left with is embers."

Actually, my response wasn't as imagery-filled, but you get the idea.

So what do you guys think? Should Amy be concerned? Are you partial to fast and furious or slow and steady? What are the advantages and disadvantages to both? Vote below and share your thoughts with me in the comments below!