Looking to meet someone new? Here's how to find your new bae

By: Jade Zwane

16 July 2017

Relationship and sex columnist Jade Zwane offers readers advice on best places to meet a potential special somebody.

How can you have a sex life if you don’t have someone to have it with? Meeting people has always been a challenge, and I’ve had readers ask me where they could find potential partners. There isn’t an exact science to this, but there are efforts you can make to meet someone – each not without its pros and cons.

I haven’t been in the single and mingling pool for a while, but these are places I met people that I had fruitful connections with when I was looking, and even when I wasn’t. One thing I know is that you’ll never meet someone sitting offline and indoors. You have to make yourself available and actively search.

I believe these places are still relevant for constructive encounters:

THE INTERNET

The internet has made it possible for people from all over the world to meet and interact. It’s important to protect yourself when online dating by not disclosing too much of yourself to strangers – like your home or work address.

And when you do make the initial meeting, it should be in a public and neutral setting.

Pros:

Most of us think and respond better with time to think, which can make the conversation more exciting. You don’t have to dress up for every encounter with your potential suitor because they can’t see you – unless you take it a notch up and video call. You can meet people from anywhere in the world.

Cons:

Catfishing (enticing a person into a relationship using a false online persona) or meeting someone on the other side of the world who isn’t willing to move.

TINDER OR CELLPHONE APPS

I know of three people who I’m close to who have found love on Tinder. Two of them are now engaged and one already married. The app finds you a match with commonalities. Whether you’re looking for sex, a fling or real love.

Pros:

I don’t think I need to repeat myself, my friend is living her happily ever ... and the many options to choose from.

Cons:

Catfishing.

THE PARK

I have two dogs and have often met fellow pet lovers at the park. That’s already one thing you’ll have in common with someone – a love for animals. Reading on a park bench isn’t an awful idea either.

Pros:

A mutual enjoyment of the outdoors, and pets if you both have any.

Cons:

Parks aren’t always safe, depending on what time of the day you go. Because they’re public, you’re exposing yourself to meeting anyone and everyone, including criminals.

THE CLUB

Most people say the club is only good for meeting a temporary fling. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but this is more about making a love match, and it is possible to do just that at a club.

Pros:

Again, sharing similar interests with the person, such as the music played at the club or dancing.

Cons:

If you meet a partygoer who isn’t prepared to slow it down when you’re looking to meet someone.

WEDDINGS AND SPECIAL EVENTS

Everyone is dressed up, having made an effort to look their best, and seduced by the union of the newlyweds. Romance is in the air and the setting couldn’t be more perfect.

Pros:

You get to see what your potential partner looks like at their best.

Cons:

The alcohol usually flows at weddings, and you might find yourself hooking up with someone you wouldn’t want to be with the next day.

RESTAURANTS AND BARS

The trick here is to be approachable. You can make yourself easy to approach by being alone and opening up yourself in terms of body language.

Pros:

The ability to give someone your full attention because you’re not preoccupied with other activities.

Cons:

Not everyone enjoys their own company enough to go out to a place alone, so this isn’t viable for everyone.

ARRANGED MEETINGS

Introductions by friends or family are my favourite. It saves you the time of googling the suitor, like most people do.

Pros:

You’re more likely to be introduced to someone who will match your interests, raising your chances of a love match.

Cons:

Should things not work out or worse – end badly or go unresolved – you’re likely to run into each other at friends’ events.