Questions & Answers on Sex

Question 3

Dear AskMen.com,

I often find myself fantasizing about other women while having sex with my wife. Sometimes I feel like I need to fantasize in order to enjoy sex. Is this normal? Am I cheating on her mentally? Should I tell her about these fantasies? Fantasyman

Dear Fantasyman,

Let me start by saying that sexual fantasies are a normal human reaction. A recent survey done by Georgia Tech University showed that almost 80 percent of all men have fantasized about another woman during sex at some point in their lives. If a fantasy is what it takes for you to enjoy sex, so be it. It does not mean that you would or even have any desire to act out these fantasies. Fantasies can improve sex for both men and women. For men, fantasies can aid and improve erections, while they can add lubrication for women.

Fantasies can lead to a more creative sex life and improve orgasms for both sexes. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about your fantasies. If you feel more comfortable keeping them to yourself, you shouldn't feel compelled to tell your wife about them. If you do want to tell her, use your judgement on how she will react. If you think she will take it well, go ahead and tell her. Who knows, maybe she has fantasies to share with you .

If you feel she will get upset, save yourselves the trouble and keep it to yourself.