It amazes me that there's a locking cat door that only opens when it recognizes a specific cat's flesh-embedded microchip, yet I still have to fumble around in the dark to insert a fancy metal key into an inexplicably difficult door lock just to get inside my house. #products

On the one hand, I feel a little bad for the guy, since this image has been burned into the collective conscience of the American football fan. On the other hand, it's always good to see the Cowboys lose. #sports

One topic of conversation that came up at a recent funeral (besides cremation and resomation) was the idea of reusable coffins. Because honestly, the last thing a dead person needs is a $10,000 wooden box. #lifestyle

A few months ago we got some of those ClosetMaid Cubeicals to store stuff in our kitchen. One of the items we like to store in our kitchen is wine. But typical wine racks take up space, and space is something our kitchen conveniently lacks. So we took to storing our wine upright, in direct sunlight, on top of the Cubeical, which violates several rules of wine-drinking. So naturally I figured, "Surely someone on the internet has made a wine rack that fits in this widely available cubical storage system." Naturally, I was wrong. Consequently, I became that person.

I think it's stupid that the current schedule of college football bowl games consists of a bunch of insignificant, poorly-named, ill-timed matchups that take place randomly over the course of 7-10 days, often over a month after the end of the regular season. When I'm elected Supreme Commander of All Things, here's how I would change that:

First of all, no more PAC-10 changing its name to PAC-12, or a BIG-10 with 12 teams. Stick to letters. BIG-10 and BIG-12 get to fight out the details.

Season ends with conference championships.

Conference champions compete in bowl games.

The National Championship Game cannot contain two teams from the same conference.

Bowl games take place no more than two weeks after the end of the regular season. All in one day. The end.

Everybody who has ever had an opinion about college football agrees that the current system is stupid. Yet the system remains. #sports