Tuesday, October 5, 2010

So Sun Chips is going to stop making compostable bags because people have complained that they're too loud.

To that I say, WTF?

And spell check doesn't recognize the word "compostable."

To that I say, damn hippies and their made up words!

I understand that the bags really only work if you have one of those fancy shmancy compost bins, but still. They probably also work in the trash heap. Maybe.

Either way, it's a step in a positive direction, right?...Well, not anymore.

According to USA Today, sales of Sun Chips have dropped 11% since the new bags have been introduced.

Really, guys?! I mean, come on. Really! So what if the bag is noisy, all bags are noisy. There is no such thing as a ninja chip bag. Get over it!

I think most of these people are snack sneakers. I can see it now, a husband goes into the kitchen for some late night Sun Chips. All of the sudden, his wife sits up in bed: "Henry, the doctor told you not to eat anymore snacks at night!"

"I'm not eating, Martha...I'm...uhh...mowing the lawn!...OH MY GOSH! Did you just hear that jet fly by?!"

(You know, because, if you read the article, people have compared the noise to the sound of a lawmower or a...jet engine....yeah....moving on!)

But I think this sentence is the kicker: "While consumers say they want companies to be more environmentally conscious, consumer pressure continues to be strong for companies' products to be convenient, predictable and consumer-friendly."

In other words: We want the environment to be happy, but not at the expense of predictability. I mean, we have to draw the line somewhere, right? Right. So bravo, Sun Chips. You obviously made the right choice in our fight against the environment.

Note: In defense of Sun Chips, they are working on making a more ninja-friendly compostable bag. And they're going to keep the noisemakers with their most popular flavor. But that part wasn't as funny.