I discovered Big Star the same way I discovered much of the music I love­ — by listening to Peter Buck’s record collection. I knew immediately that I had just heard one of my favorite bands, a band who had gotten it right, who made records that sounded like rock ‘n’ roll bands should sound. A band who wrote all the songs, from flat-out rockers to achingly beautiful ballads that were still somehow rock songs.Songwriting has always been, for me, the most vital gauge of a band’s quality, and these guys were clearly masters.

The sound of these records was also a major part of why they grabbed ahold of me so tightly. Alex Chilton and Chris Bell played guitars that were powerful, but didn’t rely on power chords, instead playing melodic, captivating riffs that made their songs complex and gave you something satisfying to listen to, no matter how many times you heard them. The irresistible crunch of these guitars, the fact that they sounded LOUD and full and ballsy, and yet you could hear every string, every note, were a tribute to the band’s ears and to the talent of engineer/producer John Fry. And they had one of the all-time powerhouse drummers in Jody Stephens, who left you with no doubt that this was a rock band and that it might be wise to invest in drum heads.

Their production was a revelation, too. I was fortunate enough to listen with Ken Stringfellow and Jon Auer to the master tracks of “Radio City.” The level of detail, the imaginative recording techniques that were revealed in the individual tracks, all made the records even more impressive. I heard a pump organ on “Daisy Glaze” that I’d never noticed was there, but that added a warmth and buzz to the song. Jody’s drum recording techniques were often so simple, often involving far fewer microphones than were standard at the time, yet they captured exactly the sound required. And the harmonies … beautiful, but never sappy, complex, but never too busy; they add a dimension to the songs that few bands have ever matched. Today they remain one of the most fun parts of re-creating Big Star’s music.

“#1 Record” appealed to me the most in the beginning, although for years I couldn’t figure out why, but the difference between this record and “Radio City” is simple: Chris Bell. His songwriting on “#1 Record” is strong and beautiful, a perfect balance to Alex’s, but it’s Chris’ production, his attention to sonic detail, that makes this record special. He spent hours figuring out how to translate the sounds he imagined into actual noises. How to make instruments do what he wanted them to. How best to utilize a Mellotron, and incorporate it into the songs. The result is a record of rich sonic textures, of declaration and vulnerability.

The lack of commercial success for the band has been well documented, but it is worth noting that it was the catalyst for change in Chris Bell. Having been the driving force behind the formation of Big Star, and pouring his heart and soul into “#1 Record,” he could not understand that external forces having nothing to do with music could stop his band from achieving the acclaim they clearly deserved, and indeed had received from all the music press of the day. He soon quit the band, although not before writing or co-writing several of the songs for the next record, including “Back of a Car” and “O My Soul.” Big Star became Alex’s baby, and he responded by making one of the most influential records of all time.

It would seem difficult, if not unlikely, to be able to make another album as good as ”#1 Record” after losing a musician of Chris Bell’s caliber, but there was still a lot of talent in this band, and Alex’s vision had only begun to assert itself. On “Radio City,” Chilton confirms his place as one of the best songwriters in rock ‘n’ roll. While “September Gurls” may be the best-known song from this album, every other song here is one that I wish I’d written. “I’m in Love With a Girl” may be the best, simplest love song ever.

Alex died in March of 2010, 32 years after Chris Bell and just a few months before bassist Andy Hummel. I had already planned to go to South by Southwest the next week to hear the band perform with their current lineup, Alex, Jody, Ken Stringfellow and Jon Auer. Shortly after I heard about Alex, I got a call from Jody asking if I would come be a part of what had now become a memorial evening. I, of course, said yes, thus cementing what has been a long and wonderful association with Jody and Big Star’s music. I am fortunate enough to play with what is known as Big Star 3rd, Chris Stamey’s labor of love in which we play all of the “3rd” record, plus generous bits of these first two records. It is an association I treasure, as it allows me and my fellow musicians and fans the opportunity to not only indulge our love of this music, but also to bring it to fans old and new, to do what we can to keep the music, and the memories, alive.

Big Star took me on a trip. From Memphis, Tennessee, we went way out West, all the way to India, hanging out the whole time in the back of a car with Morpha, Daisy and a bunch of September girls. I may not have gotten what I deserved, but I found out what it was worth, and it’s still one of the best trips I’ve ever been on.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Hannah and Adam, "Pilot"

One of our first exposures to uncomfortable “Girls” sex comes early, in the pilot episode, when Hannah and Adam “get feisty” (a phrase Hannah hates) on the couch. The pair is about to go at it doggy-style when Adam nearly inserts his penis in “the wrong hole,” and after Hannah corrects him, she awkwardly explains her lack of desire to have anal sex in too many words. “Hey, let’s play the quiet game,” Adam says, thrusting. And so the romance begins.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Marnie and Elijah, "It's About Time"

In an act of “betrayal” that messes up each of their relationships with Hannah, Marnie and Elijah open Season 2 with some more couch sex, which is almost unbearable to watch. Elijah, who is trying to explore the “hetero side” of his bisexuality, can’t maintain his erection, and the entire affair ends in very uncomfortable silence.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Marnie and Charlie, "Vagina Panic"

Poor Charlie. While he and Marnie have their fair share of uncomfortable sex over the course of their relationship, one of the saddest moments (aside from Marnie breaking up with him during intercourse) is when Marnie encourages him to penetrate her from behind so she doesn’t have to look at him. “This feels so good,” Charlie says. “We have to go slow.” Poor sucker.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Shoshanna and camp friend Matt, "Hannah's Diary"

We’d be remiss not to mention Shoshanna’s effort to lose her virginity to an old camp friend, who tells her how “weird” it is that he “loves to eat pussy” moments before she admits she’s never “done it” before. At least it paves the way for the uncomfortable sex we later get to watch her have with Ray?

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Hannah and Adam, "Hard Being Easy"

On the heels of trying (unsuccessfully) to determine the status of her early relationship with Adam, Hannah walks by her future boyfriend’s bedroom to find him masturbating alone, in one of the strangest scenes of the first season. As Adam jerks off and refuses to let Hannah participate beyond telling him how much she likes watching, we see some serious (and odd) character development ... which ends with Hannah taking a hundred-dollar bill from Adam’s wallet, for cab fare and pizza (as well as her services).

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Marnie and Booth Jonathan, "Bad Friend"

Oh, Booth Jonathan -- the little man who “knows how to do things.” After he turns Marnie on enough to make her masturbate in the bathroom at the gallery where she works, Booth finally seals the deal in a mortifying and nearly painful to watch sex scene that tells us pretty much everything we need to know about how much Marnie is willing to fake it.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Tad and Loreen, "The Return"

The only sex scene in the series not to feature one of the main characters, Hannah’s parents’ showertime anniversary celebration is easily one of the most cringe-worthy moments of the show’s first season. Even Hannah’s mother, Loreen, observes how embarrassing the situation is, which ends with her husband, Tad, slipping out of the shower and falling naked and unconscious on the bathroom floor.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Hannah and the pharmacist, "The Return"

Tad and Loreen aren’t the only ones to get some during Hannah’s first season trip home to Michigan. The show’s protagonist finds herself in bed with a former high school classmate, who doesn’t exactly enjoy it when Hannah puts one of her fingers near his anus. “I’m tight like a baby, right?” Hannah asks at one point. Time to press pause.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Hannah and Adam, "Role-Play"

While it’s not quite a full-on, all-out sex scene, Hannah and Adam’s attempt at role play in Season 3 is certainly an intimate encounter to behold (or not). Hannah dons a blond wig and gets a little too into her role, giving a melodramatic performance that ends with a passerby punching Adam in the face. So there’s that.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Shoshanna and Ray, "Together"

As Shoshanna and Ray near the end of their relationship, we can see their sexual chemistry getting worse and worse. It’s no more evident than when Ray is penetrating a clothed and visibly horrified Shoshanna from behind, who ends the encounter by asking if her partner will just “get out of me.”

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Hannah and Frank, "Video Games"

Hannah, Jessa’s 19-year-old stepbrother, a graveyard and too much chatting. Need we say more about how uncomfortable this sex is to watch?

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Marnie and Desi, "Iowa"

Who gets her butt motorboated? Is this a real thing? Aside from the questionable logistics and reality of Marnie and Desi’s analingus scene, there’s also the awkward moment when Marnie confuses her partner’s declaration of love for licking her butthole with love for her. Oh, Marnie.

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13 of "Girls'" most cringeworthy sex scenes

Hannah and Adam, "Vagina Panic"

There is too much in this scene to dissect: fantasies of an 11-year-old girl with a Cabbage Patch lunchbox, excessive references to that little girl as a “slut” and Adam ripping off a condom to ejaculate on Hannah’s chest. No wonder it ends with Hannah saying she almost came.