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What Does “Sit Like A Girl” Mean?

At a women-only event I recently attended , the speaker , Carole Mandi challenged us : “You don’t see men in top positions and wonder who did he sleep with to get there….so why do you do it for women?” In as much as I hate the way people throw around the “women are their own worst enemies” phrase , Carole Mandi was making a lot of sense. The world (since time immemorial) seems blind to the moral rules men break , but is keen to demonize women who break the same rules. Case in point is the adulterous woman in the Bible who Jesus saved from being stoned to death. She was not sinning alone so WHERE WAS THE MAN she had been with?

I declined buying my daughters a book called Bed time stories for girls. Of course there was Bedtime stories for boys also, next to it , which I too didn’t buy! Instead I chose Bed time stories. Period. In this male-dominated world (oh yes it still is) , I refuse to preach the “women ought to act like and think like men/boys” gospel to them ; because it is misleading. It depicts men (in general ) as being superior to women , which is not true. See , it doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman ; when you die , they will talk about the kind things you did , the lives you touched… This is why I want my two girls to know that they are people first. They are people, with a soul, with a spirit, with values they uphold…who can regardless of whether they are male or female , do anything they put their mind to. I say I don’t like the way “women are their own worst enemies” phrase is used sometimes , because just because I do not agree with someone who is a woman does not mean I disagree with them because they are a woman.

The usual suspects :)

Young girls are often told to “sit like a girl”. Sigh. Does that mean boys can sit HOWEVER they like? Growing up, my mum would not let anyone (my brothers and I) sit on the sofa with one leg on the sofa arm! We were to “sit properly”. To me , that is more acceptable.

In the book Nice girls don’t get the corner office (which I’d recommend for both Women and Men who want to get ahead) the author argues that women should quit trying to “be a man”. You don’t have to be a man! Just quit being a (little) girl at the work place and be a woman. For example , quit treating your male colleagues , even if they are older than you , like father figures and treat them (respectfully) like your equals.

I might be all for “it is not important if you are a boy or girl” but as they grow , I will not hesitate to teach my girls how to tap into their girl power…. their special God-given skills they have as women. Women are beautiful and strong and nurturing and have great negotiation skills that come in handy while closing deals. It is great to be a woman! They say life is playing the cards you’ve got right. You’ve got to know when to play the woman card! But that , does not mean throwing your integrity , out of the window. I am human first , then I am a woman.

Where else in the world do girls use cow dung or sit on sand during their menses because they can not afford sanitary towels? Where else are young girls under ten, raped as part of a cleansing ceremony or cure for HIV positive men? Is it any wonder that girls grow into women who associate this part of their bodies as a source of deep personal pain and shame? Is it then surprising that they are shocked and forced into silence by societal scorn for their womanhood, and that they, in turn, perpetuate that same scorn and silence on their daughters?