Share this Article

Author:

Tags:

Due to a lack in Christianity in the Republican field of presidential hopefuls, I have been forced into making an announcement. Last week myself and the award winning staff here at Christwire formed an exploratory committee delving into the possibility that I, Alex K Keating, will seek the Republican nomination for President, and today I am here to announce my candidacy.

I will run on a platform of Christianity; my record speaks for itself. I’m a staunch supporter of Republican ideals and in some circles, the authoritative voice on conservative ideals.

First of all, I have never been homogay. Not even on a drunken night back in college for experimental purposes only. Anyone who asserts such things, especially a Puerto Rican transsexual, is a liar and a terrorist and probably working for the homogay agenda to sully my good name.

Secondly, I support Jesus, and Jesus supports me. Do you believe Jesus was Lord? If you do, then your vote can only be given to me by Biblical law. Jesus wouldn’t want you voting for a liberal or a woman, and definitely not a Mormon. Such things will destroy our Great Country. Only a God-fearing man like myself can bring us out of the dark ages and back to good Anglo-Saxon politics.

Some things I will do as our Great Leader:

- Bring Christianity back into government, like the forefathers meant it to be – Destroy the homogay agenda – Make sure your children love Jesus – Outlaw abortion – Browbeat liberals into submission – Definitely not sleep with hookers (Male or Female) – Shame feminazis into hiding – Free guns for all decent Americans – Deport all Mexicans

As I said before, my record speaks for itself. Not only am I a friend to the blacks, I often minister to inner city youth, but I can be counted as a champion to the Hispanic community as well. By forcing them all to learn English or git, I will be promoting education. I have also been known to support the Asian community by frequenting their buffets.

With me you always know where I stand on the issues; with Christ. Be it old or new testament, no Biblical law will be left unenforced. No homogay or communist will be left unexposed. America will finally take it’s place back on top, as I also have plans to deal with the evil Red Chinese.

In the coming weeks you will be hearing more about this campaign from Christwire, including announcements of a VP candidate. Until then I know I can count on the votes of the good Christians who frequent this site. Time for a real grass roots campaign.

About The AuthorAlex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

Facebook Conversations

Great to hear a candidate will be sticking to his guns on this one. Cheney and Bush lost the presidency for the GOP when Cheney refused to deny his daughter and send her to Gitmo for being a gender-bending terror unto the Lord himself.

No, Bush couldn’t even run again since it’s written that no man or woman could become president after they’ve already been president twice. Cheney didn’t stand a damn chance what with the shit he pulled as vice president. Saying that they ‘lost the presidency’ when one of the two guys couldn’t run again if he tried shows that you just don’t a give shit about how the government is ran; you just want more conservatives and republicans in office just so you can feel like you can further lord over everyone.

Clinton was probably one of the best presidents we have had in recent history. The economy was good, people were happy, so what if he got a blow job under his desk! I hope Obama wipes your asses to the floor!

There wasn’t any major event happening when the elections took place. Not only that, but when you hear the son of a former president is running, if you liked that president, you’re probably going to swing towards his son.

When the ’08 elections took place, we were still in the middle east, and shit was NOT looking good. McCain promised to continue what Bush was doing, the EXACT opposite of what people wanted to happen. Obama was pretty much riding on (yes, I’ll admit it) being the first black president, but his competition on his own team was the woman who would be the first female president. The Democrats were going to have the title of ‘first (black/woman) president’ come hell or high water, the people were NOT going to vote for McCain. Not because of what Bush or Cheney did in their term, but because McCain was going to croak from the pressure and we would’ve been left with that idiot Sarah Palin. Ya know, the same woman who left her position as governor of Alaska when it got too tough for her.

Who do I think is going to win? I’ll be quite honest and say that I don’t know, nor will I look into it further until next year. The only prediction I made was that Trump wouldn’t bother running for President. That guy just wanted publicity for his show.

Alex Keating my son repent for u have found the site in which i God disapprove of, for i love homosexuals as much as those we preach my word. do not run for i God will smite thee in the nuts and make u a gaga loving little monster becuz i really love her i drive my SUV and Listen to bad romance while taking to Jesus about going to a rave at katty perry’s house and watching gay porn with Russel brand and listen to blood on the dance floor then shuffle to the party rock anthem by LMFAO hahahahahaha i God find this site to be complete bullshit and laugh at the mere thought of it hahahahahaha God out! Peace!

if you somehow made presidentt i would go to an island and make a safe haven from the likes of you.Hell id bring everyone i could wether they were bi,gay,or straight atheists would be welcome as well as christians,muslims,and whatever religion they were im sure i would not be only one to do this

did america have school way back then i bet you had a covered wagon growing up huh your presidential hope full
is ragging on you because you cant spell and here you are sticking up for a nazi fuck stick read down a couple of paragraphs and if you cant read i guess i am wasting my time typing this up shit

“plateform”. This country needs better education. Under my administration we will get that education, through the Bible, and no longer will Millenium have to wonder whether or not he will be making a fool out of himself because he doesn’t know how to spell words.

Lets break down your platform that you posted to show your stupidity and how badly you don’t understand US law

- Bring Christianity back into government, like the forefathers meant it to be

Actually their are laws and amendments in place
Example: The First Amendment states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” So no you can not bring religion back into law you can believe what ever you want you cant force or make others believe it

– Destroy the homogay agenda

To destroy a groups right to speak out and protest what they feel is against their personal freedoms in the country is also against the constitution so to do this you will outlaw free speech and many other rights we consider inalienable

– Make sure your children love Jesus

Again look at my first contention you are breaking US law

– Outlaw abortion

You personally can not outlaw any actions it is a joint collaboration between Judicial, Legislative and Executive if congress disagrees with you they can veto a bill or law you want made so no you can’t just outlaw something because you are president

– Browbeat liberals into submission

So yea this one makes no sense how do you plan on forcing an entire group of free thinking people to just do as you say?

– Definitely not sleep with hookers (Male or Female)

I wont disagree it is probably a smart move but a platform to go forward on …. yea your an idiot

– Shame feminazis into hiding

Well couple thing’s here feminists are not feminazis not even sure wtf that is because I know a few feminists and well I don’t see any connection between them in Nazi’s also again you plan on taking away their freedom of speech again illegal and impossible learn the law

– Free guns for all decent Americans

While the constitution does have a amendment concerning weapons it is a big conflict going on through the country and to just say “LETS GO GIVE PEOPLE GUNS!” one would be illegal do to state laws that control the conditioning that each state oversees on who is allowed to own or carry said weapons. Oh yea and also just giving out guns would be the dumbest act in the history of this country do you know who your giving that gun to do you know he is going to use it to defend his home/property/self no so while your intentions to a point are fine your actions are idiotic at best

– Deport all Mexicans
Again big deal going on you would have to get congress to pass laws that you want to do this.

So to sum it up you never read or understood the constitution and you have no basic concept of US law or government proceedings and rules and regulations go back to like the fifth grade I think that is when I learned most of that… dumbass

The bible was written over a thousand years ago. Millenium isn’t American (as far as I know, using context). You support education? Good for you! So do I! Still, learn about the constitution. As in, THE highest power in the USA.

I hope you don’t win. I really would not enjoy this, as I am an atheist AND VERY PROUD! I think that homosexuals should be allowed to marry because they are people too. And if you disagree with me, too bad, because you know what the First Amendment is? The five freedoms. One of those is freedom of speech. That means I am allowed to have an opinion. This is so sad that there are people like this.

Yes because the church effects the economy HOW? please enlighten us capt wackjob I want to know how people praying in a church makes you spend more money? I mean god damn I know you guys are satire people but at least think of a worthy response because the whole well we are christian blah blah blah answers are stale and dead get some new material

no its u idiots i am god and know that fake christians like u r the reason why u have such a huge national debt, oh wiat osama bin ladin is telling me something……… ah yes ok he says that he thinks that marilyn manson should run for president, and gay marrige should be allowed in all states oh my son osama u r again right here is a Goddly Cookie, Alex u should die so come and if u hurry ill make sure satan has a cozy spot for u!

oh no you did not go there just based on the shit your saying on this website is enough info for the media to run one hell of a smear campaign you will never be president i repeat never your anti gay rhetoric has doomed you your such a jackass im laughing my ass off the fact your so naive its ridiculous keep on talking buddy

dude why are you such an asshole? if you want a chance at being president you might want to consider the fact not everyones like you oh and have you ever heard of seperation of church and state … guess what a country is made up of……. states

Government and religion were made separate for a reason. Because everybody has freedom of religion. We don’t HAVE to be Christian. We don’t HAVE to believe in some fake being that loves everybody but wait, he hates gays! *gasp*! How can he love everybody but hate gays? That makes no sense. Bunch of hypocrites is what you are.

i certainly will not vote for Alex K. Keating as presidential hopeful that guy is pretty much what the world would look like if Hitler won the war shit man you are so blatenly obtuse your ignorance is only obscured by your narrow minded point of views self preservation is a bitch and im curious as to how much dick will you suck to become president but i will pray for you because there is no hope for you
sincerely me
and ps fuck you and your third riche

hey douche bag guess who will be president in 2012 not you fuck bag have you even talked to a homosexual ? a fact for you … ITS NOT CONTAGIOUS DUMB ASS
stupid shit eater thinks watching the hangover 2 movie will instantly turn someone homosexual simply based on the fact that there is a full frontal nudity scene of a tranny mother fucker probably has that scene saved some where on his computer hidden from his carbon cut out of what a wife i feel sorry for this asshole seriously he has some deep seeded issues that he needs to resolve

hey, just black jesus again, now what are all you white people fighing about this time? some stupid bullshit cuz ya cant leave eachother alone! us niggers just let one another be, never see us arguing about some stupid shit like this,we got better things to do! just get along white people! were all the same on the inside right?

Oh, just wondering, why exactly would you outlaw abortion? Technically, the fetus is still part of the woman, being completely dependent on her and all. What if the woman is deemed by a doctor to be too old to survive the stress of childbirth? You’d be condemning a woman to either be a criminal and likely get sick having an illegal, unregulated abortion, or condemning her to death. Let the ho’s decide!

“Do you believe Jesus was Lord? If you do, then your vote can only be given to me by Biblical law” Yeah, sorry, but I don’t remember seeing ANYWHERE in the bible to vote for a racist, sexist, discriminate asshole like you. Just no. Thank God you did not get the nomination.

Fuck you Alex keating. You jus ruined my day. I’d smack you square in that gay ass face. I hope you get raped and get AIDs that’s what you deserve. You remind me of hitler and Satan. I hope you go to hell for spreading so much hate. You are the most stupid person I’ve ever heard of who raised you? Idiots obviously. Go fall down a well you hater. No one likes you not even “god”, faggot.