7/2/14

While there are many things that I love about Korea, there are two things
that drive me crazy. One is that, in my observation, most Korean men don't
wash their hands after using the bathroom.

I know some people get defensive about non-Koreans commenting in a negative
way about Korean culture and life, that they want to attack the messenger and
the messenger's native country. So I will start by clearly stating that many
men in America don't wash their hands either.

According to the Website Stop Handshaking,
while 92 percent of adults in America say they wash their hands in public
restrooms, an observational study of 6,076 adults sponsored by the American
Society for Microbiology (ASM) found that only 66 percent of men actually
washed their hands in public restrooms (88 percent of women did so).

As an aside, I am curious how they "observed" that many people
washing or not washing their hands, but I accept the results, thank them for
verifying my own observation and will continue evading shaking hands with
people.

I am not alone. There are some well-known people who don't shake hands,
according to Stop HandShaking.
Donald Trump does his best to
avoid shaking hands. Actor/comedian Howie Mandel avoids shaking
hands. Got it? Not everyone in America washes their hands and I also avoid
shaking hands there.

I prefer to wave or fist-bump. The "a-ha!" moment was years ago, a
friendly Korean men, after striking up a conversation with me after using the
bathroom, wanted to shake hands as we were leaving (we talked, I washed my
hands, but he didn't). He may have changed his shirt, not actually used the
bathroom, but I began to notice how few men washed their hands.

A wonderful thing happened two years ago after I sprained my right wrist.
People stopped trying to shake my hand. Some determined people insisted ―
left-handed. I couldn't fake having two sprained wrists.

My wrist got better, but I continued wearing the wrist brace. Some of my
Korean friends pointed out that I had been wearing that wrist brace for a
really long time. I began carrying the wrist brace to put on at social and
business events.

Some people might think I am complaining about Koreans. No way. I don't try
to change Koreans. But I do say what I believe and respond appropriately to
things I don't like, no matter where I am.

I tell people not to take it personally. After all, even if they wash their
hands, they may be shaking hands with plenty of other people who don't.
Sometimes I can't avoid it, especially when older Korean men insist on
shaking hands.

Wise guys point out that fist-bumps aren't perfect either, that I should do
an elbow-bump, or Namaste, or the peace-sign. I agree with them all, I'm fine
with whichever way they'd like, besides shaking hands. Then at other times,
what the hell, I shake hands, it is too much of a hassle to explain or have
people saying I'm too picky.

A second related thing that drives me crazy about Korea are the bathrooms. Of
course, I'm not suggesting that all bathrooms in Korea are terrible or that
all bathrooms in America are spotless. The bathroom at the Yeouido subway
station one stop from my office even won the "Best Toilet" award a
few years ago ― deservedly so. If there were ever an international "Best
Toilet" or "Best Custodian" competition, then I would nominate
and write a heartfelt recommendation for the bathroom and attendant at
Yeouido station.

Overall, most bathrooms in Seoul are not well-maintained. Outside of Seoul,
they are usually disasters. One reason to avoid mom-and-pop restaurants is
that mom and pop apparently don't like to clean the restaurant bathroom.

Last year, I got into two interesting conversations about this. A Frenchman
criticized me for not being more accepting of Korea's bathrooms and said it
wasn't a problem that Koreans didn't wash their hands after using them. His
point was that visitors to Korea should accept everything about Korea (yes,
"everything," so he may have been to an extreme). It seemed that he
would defend Koreans taking turns punching him in the face if there had
already been a tradition of Koreans punching Frenchmen in the face.

Shortly after that, I had a conversation with a Korean-American acquaintance.
He was shocked when he first went to America to find that bathrooms could be
so clean, it made him realize how atrocious Korean bathrooms were maintained.
He was even more critical about that than I have ever been, expressing his
utter amazement that people would use the bathroom without washing their
hands.

In agreement and disagreement, I had pleasant conversations with both of
them. In parting, I waved good-bye to the Frenchman and shook hands with the
Korean-American.