In his first interview since filing for divorce from Angelina Jolie in September, Brad Pitt opened up on his history with drinking and what life is looking like post-split in the new issue of GQ, which features not one, but three Pitt covers.

Through the interview, he only mentions Jolie by name once, and it’s to recommend her movie about Cambodia, First They Killed My Father: “You should see Angie’s film.”

Sure thing, Brad.

The actor gets surprisingly candid in the interview. “I was boozing too much,” he admitted, suggesting the rumours have indeed been true, and it was his alcoholism that led to the split. “It’s just become a problem. And I’m really happy it’s been half a year now, which is bittersweet, but I’ve got my feelings in my fingertips again.”

He added, “I mean, we have a winery. I enjoy wine very, very much, but I just ran it to the ground. I had to step away for a minute. And truthfully I could drink a Russian under the table with his own vodka. I was a professional. I was good.”

When asked how he quit drinking, Pitt said, “Don’t want to live that way anymore.” That, and he’s also now sticking to exclusively cranberry juice and “fizzy water.”

“For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street,” he said. “I’m an asshole when it comes to this need for justice. I don’t know where it comes from, this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. I can drill on that for days and years. It’s done me no good whatsoever. It’s such a silly idea, the idea that the world is fair. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I’m well aware of that. I hit the lottery, and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits.”

Pitt revealed that, at first, it was “too sad” to live at the Hollywood Hills home he shares with his children, so he spent time staying on a friend’s floor in Santa Monica — and with close friend David Fincher.

Although he admits to being “disconnected,” Pitt said it’s his children he worries about when it comes to how his relationship with Jolie was depicted in the media.

“I worry about it more for my kids, being subjected to it, and their friends getting ideas from it,” he said. “And of course it’s not done with any kind of delicacy or insight—it’s done to sell. And so you know the most sensational sells, and that’s what they’ll be subjected to, and that pains me. I worry more in my current situation about the slideshow my kids have. I want to make sure it’s well-balanced.”

“Family first,” he added. “They need to be listened to. When I get in that busy work mode, I’m not hearing. I want to be better at that. … I grew up with a Father-knows-best/war mentality—the father is all-powerful, super strong — instead of really knowing the man and his own self-doubt and struggles. And it’s hit me smack in the face with our divorce: I gotta be more. I gotta be more for them. I have to show them. And I haven’t been great at it.”

Pitt said he and Jolie are currently working on figuring out a custody arrangement that works best for everyone, but it hasn’t been an easy process.

“I was really on my back and chained to a system when Child Services was called,” he said. “And you know, after that, we’ve been able to work together to sort this out. We’re both doing our best. I heard one lawyer say, ‘No one wins in court — it’s just a matter of who gets hurt worse.’ And it seems to be true, you spend a year just focused on building a case to prove your point and why you’re right and why they’re wrong, and it’s just an investment in vitriolic hatred. I just refuse. And fortunately my partner in this agrees. It’s just very, very jarring for the kids, to suddenly have their family ripped apart.”