Serve Our Country—Repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

As we get closer to the mid-term elections with predictions of doom and gloom for Democratic control in both houses, the push is on from the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender movement for movement on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network has launched “Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama.” Each day, SLDN will publish and send Obama and selected members on the Senate Armed Services Committee letters from former or retired military personnel who are now out of the closet and can tell their stories.

One of those letters is from someone I’m proud to call a friend, Retired Naval Captain Joan Darrah. She wrote President Obama this week and told him the following:

Joan Darrah, Retired Naval Capt.

I’m sure, as I do, you remember exactly where you were on September 11, 2001.

At 8:30 a.m. that day, I went to a meeting in the Pentagon. At 9:30 a.m., I left that meeting. At 9:37 a.m., American Airlines Flight 77 slammed into the Pentagon and destroyed the exact space I had left less than eight minutes earlier, killing seven of my colleagues.

On Sept. 11, 2001, I was a lesbian Navy captain who, at that time, had more than 28 years of dedicated military service. My partner, Lynne Kennedy, an openly gay reference librarian at the Library of Congress, and I had been together for more than 11 years. Each day, I went to work wondering if that would be the day I would be fired because someone had figured out I was gay.

In spite of that stress, somehow Lynne and I had learned to deal with “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”; we had made the requisite sacrifices. I had pretended to be straight and had played the games most gays in the military are all too familiar with.

But after Sept. 11 our perspective changed dramatically. In the days and weeks that followed, I went to at least seven funerals and memorial services for shipmates who had been killed in the Pentagon attack. As the numbness began to wear off, it hit me how incredibly alone Lynne would have been had I been killed.

The military is known for how it pulls together and helps people; we talk of the “military family” which is a way of saying we always look after each other, especially in times of need. But none of that support would have been available for Lynne, because under “don’t ask, don’t tell,” she couldn’t exist.

In fact, had I been killed, Lynne would have been one of the last people to know, because nowhere in my paperwork or emergency contact information had I dared to list Lynne’s name. This realization caused us both to stop and reassess exactly what was most important in our lives. During that process we realized that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was causing us to make a much bigger sacrifice than either of us had ever admitted.

Nine months later, in June 2002, I retired after 29 years in the U.S. Navy, an organization I will always love and respect.

Today, nine years after that fateful day at the Pentagon, I am now committed to doing everything I possibly can to get rid of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” so our military can finally be open to all qualified and motivated individuals who want to serve their country. This is the right step for our country, for our military, and for all gay men and lesbians.”

Joan tells her story better than I ever could. I can only imagine what is what like for her to serve her country with pride and with fear.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell may have been passed in 1993 but it is a relic. It doesn’t work. Over 13,500 service members have been “fired” under the law. Good people—in just the last five years, the military has discharged almost 800 mission-critical troops and at least 59 Arabic and nine Farsi linguists.

The letters to Obama call on him to keep his promise to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. A promise supported by 75 percent of Americans. A promise that reflects 73% of military personnel who say they are comfortable with lesbian and gay people and the one in four U.S. troops who have served in Afghanistan or Iraq knowing a member of their unit was gay.

With mid-term elections just a few short months away and the rhetoric so hot it makes a steamy day in D.C. feel cool, it is time for the President and Congress to be a brave as Joan was for 29 years. It’s time for them to really serve our country and repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

2 Responses

If anything, DADT shows just how committed these men and women are to serving their country. It is so important to them that they are willing to hide an important part of their lives in order serve. They have all passed the test of dedication and patriotism by these sacrifices. It’s time they were rewarded by being able to serve in exactly the same way that their straight counterparts already can: openly and with visible love for those that are supporting them from home.

I think its important to note that Captain Darrah reached a very high level in the Navy. A Captain in the US Navy is a pay grade 0-6. The US Army 0-6 equivalent is a Colonel. Most officers never reach this rank.