Hey friends! It’s another week of Impact Wrestling, which means another week of me trying to sum up a show without just posting gif after gif of people aggressively rolling their eyes. But first…

– Brandon and I tried out a fun new thing where we provide viewer Slammentary for a vintage WWE pay-per-view. For some reason the last fifteen minutes cut out, and I can’t seem to fix it, but everything that came before it is fine. Well…if you define “fine” as trying to wrap our heads around what is basically ten minutes of a hate crime.

Props to TNA for giving Sanada another nice video package. This is the way to go, since the guy doesn’t speak English, so he can’t really get himself over by cutting a promo.

While a big, strong guy catching a smaller guy is nothing new, the position that Bobby Lashley caught Kenny King in was pretty impresive, and he didn’t even stagger an inch to boot. Not to mention that Kenny King isn’t exactly a tiny guy, he’s pretty big for an X Div wrestler. I can’t believe I just defended Bobby Lashley. Now I feel dirty.

I don’t understand what’s went on with this Brittney thing this week. Okay, I get that’s she’ll eventually morph into a stalker type likely, then feud with Madison. However this week just didn’t make any sense. Madison comes out, calls out TBP, gets her ass kicked, Brittney runs in to make the save, gets her ass kicked. Then they have a segment where Gail Kim and Madison Rayne agree to tag up. Brittney wants to be out there oh so chipper and gets turned down. 5 minutes later Tenay says she got concussed when she tried to save Madison even though she looked perfectly fine just moments earlier. What am I missing?

@Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer they’re simply clearly stretching it out until Slammiversary, and Tenay just had to make up some excuse to cover the plothole.

This might go in the way of Angelina Love winning the title, Madison failing to retain a few more times, then, Madison cheering Brittany to go for it and do what she couldn’t do. Then, the student surpasses the teacher (with them trying to put her over (successfully, hopefully) that way), Madison congratulates her and then they go with the student vs teacher feud. one of them might turn heel (as much as I hope neither one does), and we wait after that until either Taryn Tarrel comes back (or she could come back even before that and be the one to take the belt from Angelina), or some other knockout debuts or returns.

“You think they’ll run the Tara/Ms. Tessmacher storyline with Madison and Brittney?”

exactly.

I’m still wishing that they’ll sign Nikki Storm specifically of all the girls in the world and let her be the lady-dean-ambrose (actually, more like lady-jon-moxley) that she is…

or bring back candice lerae? her match vs gail kim when they were trying girls out was horrible, but that was weird as balls because she’s pretty much one of the top in-ring performers, males or females, in the world.

a kinda related topic (because I got nowhere else to talk about TNA stuff on here):

have you guys been following Spin Cycle on Xplosion the last 6 weeks? it had EC3 and Spud on it (with a new suit for Spud almost every 2 weeks) and a couple of other fun dudes like Sanada as EC3’s protege, the bro-mans and ODB.

it has been, every time, the best thing that TNA produced in months and months, if not years.

and if you want to start with one, choose “Spic Cycle: In Yo Face” as it was probably my favourite of the awesome bunch and reminded me of why I’ll always be a TNA fan in the middle of the pile of all the other sh*t TNA does. (Daniels, my favourite wrestler of all time, being let go made for the saddest feeling I felt because of wrestling in quite a long while.)

can you start watching and including them too in your reviews, please, Danielle? I’m sure you’ll enjoy them more than anything on IMPACT. many other people I know that hate TNA or only think of it as a joke still watch and praise Xplosion mainly for Spin Cycle (but also because the weekly match on Xplosion is usually a fun, random pairing that gets a proper long time and ends cleanly with no sh*tty storylines attached to it to ruin it.

don’t you remember anything of how TNA built a defined character for gunner throughout the UK tour and all the way to his world title match vs magnus right before his stuff with storm picked up? it’s the reason they brought in gunner’s sad dad. all the beautiful, beautiful vignettes they aired for gunner saying how much he loved his family (especially his wife and kids), showing his training videos and old photos were he was dreaming to become a wrestler since he was a kid, and him talking about his (real) time spent in the marine where he watched his friends legit die to protect the country and learned the real meaning of war and sacrifice and determination?

nothing? how?! why?! come on, danielle. TNA clearly worked really hard to make him look much better than he is, and make the fans connect with him like they wouldn’t have dreamed that they would before… and he himself clearly improved and whatever the hell he was before.