Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Anthony Michael Is A Stupidhead

You can check out the full article here, but long story short: this guy Anthony Michael is suing classmates.com for duping him into thinking people from high school were searching for him. You know these ads you see pretty much everywhere?

(P.S. He was way too good for her.)

He paid the $15 sign-up fee only to find out that, not only was no one searching for him but - wait, no. That was it. Nobody. No one gives a shit about you, Anthony Michael.

So he fell for it. And he got pissed. Probably because his ruse of being a level-headed member of society has been destroyed and his true identity of absolute and complete gullible idiot has been revealed. This is called spam. Have you never heard of it? It clogs the shit out of your inbox. Just last week, I got this one:

I know very well I’m not overpaying for car insurance because I don’t have a fucking car. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, folks.

This is newsworthy for the sole fact that this guy is an absolute moron. I bet he also signs into his paypal account on a fake page when he's notified that "a new email address has been added to your account. Click here to confirm!" I bet he also whines about not winning a "free" ipod when he realizes you have to fulfill expensive subscription obligations to be eligible.

I bet a lot of things.
But I'm banking on the fact that this guy is an idiot.

My favourite part is how they word this sentence:"...there are hundreds of thousands of Anthony Michaels around the country who were similarly duped."
Which makes me think: Holy shit. Guys named Anthony Michael are completely retarded.

But he might as well have been honest about his MO to join the site in the first place.

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One of my favourite past times is pissing off (certainly soon-to-be former) friends on MSN and facebook by ridiculing their statuses (I believe the correct term is statii, but don’t quote me on that. In fact, don’t believe anything I say).

This one was real dickheadery on my part. But I maintain that it was pretty funny. The night Barack Obama was elected president, a friend's status read:

"A new world starts tomorrow! The American people have slowly begun to redeem themselves."

To which, of course, I replied:

And, although I'm not sure of the context of this one:

It prompted:

RANDOM BONUS I: WHAT AM I THINKING RIGHT NOW?

Even if I said I was sitting here lip-synching to Celine Dion’s Power of Love – which I am – I'm sure nobody would care because I think I’m the only one who reads this.