Risking again after being disappointed

Ten years ago, Mark and I were sitting next to each other and looking with wide eyes at the inch-thick stack of papers in front of us.

We were about to sign our life away - 30 years of it, anyway - to close on our first home.

This was the moment we'd been waiting and planning for, to finally have a place of our own.

A place to decorate as we wish.

A place to play house as newlyweds.

A place to entertain friends and family.

A place to expand our family.

A place to invest and grow our savings.

These were our hopes and dreams for our new home.

And a lot of them came true. We created many happy memories with friends, family and each other in that home.

But some didn’t. Our dream of filling it with a couple of kids. Our hope that it'd be a profitable investment. (In case you're not doing the math, 10 years ago was right before the housing market crashed in the U.S. Bad timing, to say the least...)

We make choices with the best intentions, but sometimes they just don't turn out the way we'd hope for them to.

And some of these choices can forever change how we see ourselves and the world. They may even make us feel a bit more guarded and mistrusting.

For me, buying that home was one of those moments.

And yet, here we are at it again 10 years later, closing on our first home in California.

To be honest, I'm still a little nervous about making such a big commitment again.

But what I envision is having a home we love, a space that reflects us, with the perfect amount of space to grow a family. And I want that more than I fear the unknown. More than how the housing market might turn.

We have to want it more than we fear it.

No one can tell us if our relationships will last through the years, if the investment will pay off, or if the business will be profitable. Of course, we can do our part, but the outcome is never guaranteed.

Ultimately, it's about trust.

Trust that the past worked out exactly how it was supposed to, even if it didn't quite match our expectations.

Trust that there was something to be learned from it.

Trust that things will work out in the future in the perfect way, even if it looks different than what we imagined.

Whether it's in our relationships, finances or career, the only way we can build our trust is by jumping in and trying again.

I'd love to know, what is pushing you to trust right now? Leave a comment below and let me know.

xo, M

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