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The Journey of Training – The Bad and Good Moments

There are moments, when I get frustrated about my lack of progress in training.

I feel as if I could do more, spend longer hours at the gym, hit more kicks at the bag, do more boxing practise, learn something new in clinch or when I realise that I’m still unable to use my elbows at all in sparring.

This feeling comes to me now and then.

It’s usually after a good time, when I learned more, got some good results with my diet (even managing to lose a kilo or two – yes that’s an accomplishment in my case, however weak it sounds, I have problems with losing weight), feeling a bit fitter than usual, seeing progress in my technique.

And then this moment comes and I feel devasted. My weight goes up again, which discourages me and makes me cheat more than I should. I feel a lack of confidence in my training game, I feel weak and begginer-ish.
It’s humbling, this experience because I get to re-learn what I’m capable of.
I realised now, that the “good moment” will come again and I need to find the answer to HOW to make it come sooner than later.
What should I do to feel great again? Should I train more? Should I do more hours on the bag? Should I spar more? Should I be more strict with myself when it comes to dieting? Should I cut some calories, or maybe only change up my diet a bit?
I know that food makes a HUGE difference in how I train and how I feel. So I “just” need to pressure myself into sticking to my diet….that’s so hard to do for me…I have a little “saboteur” inside me who wants to damage all my achievements.

I now I have to fight him all the time, over and over again…and he wins a lot of times – then it’s the bad times for me in my general well-being and training. And sometimes I win – then are the great moments I like the most.
The solution seems to be easy – just don’t let him win. But it’s not as easy as it sound to actually DO it.

So now, it’s the bad moment. But I’ve not given up. I feel that I want MORE. I want to learn new techniques, try them in sparring, kick the heavy bag lots of time and hear it make a heavy “thud” sound. I feel I have so much energy to spend right now!! I want to ride this energy and become better!