Day 3. It’s quite expensive to play doctor

The day I got the positive urine test results back, that gave me the cancer diagnosis (see previous blogs), I decided to find my own way and direct myself when it comes to my healing process. Not that I need no doctors, no, I will definitely use what is already here, the techniques that are used to determine cancer and to measure how far the cancer has manifested itself in the body.

I’ve decided that I do not want to take the road of conventional treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation, I’ve only seen negative results thus far and in my perspective it causes only more damage to the body than it being beneficial for the body. I believe that all these treatments are a product/result of Big Pharma, where it is all about making money and not about curing people. (This is only my opinion and mine alone)

The last few years there is fortunately much published in Social Media by people who have overcome cancer by changing their lifestyle, including the series “The Truth about Cancer ‘ that provides much clarity on what resources can be used to become healthy again without aggressive therapy.

I recently started the dr. Kelley diet which supported many people with cancer by offering a straight forward diet and supplements, even some of them had not long to live according to the diagnosis of traditional medicine.

In my mind there is a lot going on, for example, all kinds of fears are coming up, insecurities, doubts, sadness etc. To give direction to these fears, feelings and emotions I’m going to do Self- Forgiveness wherein I forgive myself and correct myself. Since these suppressed thoughts / emotions / feelings / ideas and beliefs are very harmful to my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear, uncertainty and doubt while following the dr. Kelley diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear, uncertainty and doubt whether this diet will work for me and whether it will heal me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that maybe I’m too old to have success with this diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and worry that the cancer is so aggressive that I have no chance to cure by following this diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid I do not have enough money to pay for the supplements and the vitamins.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry that I, despite the diet/supplements/vitamins still will die from cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic at the idea that I do not all that I can in relation to the diet/supplements and still will die from the cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for not stopping my thoughts till I get to the point where I ended in a doom scenario where I see myself suffering of cancer and die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that the way I approach my disease is guided by my ego and that I am just busy by doing it differently while the cancer has free play.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry that I’m arrogant, thinking that I can be my own doctor and that I ultimately will not be successfully with the diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior because of being my own doctor by choosing my own process of healing, in which I polarize my reality and fear that the disease will progress by not directing it well enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt the direction I went into because of past memories when I used alternative ways to heal which did not succeed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself spending already a large amount of money that was offered to me by someone else, of which I’m afraid to waste the other person’s money, and still being afraid the diet and all the other things I do will not support me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be scared every time I see the amount of VAT and customs charged when ordering supplements outside my own country.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that having money is so important in my life, that it seems like, my life is worth less than money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be more concerned about the amount of money being spent than my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/understand/realize how much value I give to money rather than my physical condition.

When and as I see myself having doubts about the fact that I’m my own doctor and follow my own diet, I stop and breathe. I realize that what I have read about this type of cure has had excellent results for others. I commit myself to stop the relationship with doubt and to continue with the diet how I planned it. I commit myself when doubt comes up to investigate what is behind it and be able to understand it and stop it to move on with the diet that I have outlined for myself.

When and as I see giving myself considering money as more important than my own health, I stop and breathe. I realize that I have given money more importance than myself and I’ve made my physical well being subordinate to money. And so, I commit myself to put my body on the first place. And so, I commit myself to find an opportunity to reduce the 60% extra charges that I always have to pay when ordering supplements from outside of my country.