PoMoHippy CharisMystic & LOVE ACTIVIST:
“Ministry means the ongoing attempt to put ones own search for God, with all the moments of pain and joy, despair and hope, at the disposal of those who want to join this search but do not know how.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

Blogging is a Moving Meditation.

BLOGGING as a MOVING MEDITATION:Liminality's thin passage untangles as it weaves, fits in the ineffable nooks and crannies of my heart's prayer wall, like the cracks in pavement, mile markers on the road, windblown whimsical napkin poems written in eyeliner.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Can't help but missing Ya all....so i thought I'd send a toast.... to all of "Ya ALL............." (and that's a bunch) God has blessed US beyond measure with your friendships. Phil and I are overwhelmed by your love.... Each one of you are a TREASURE in the Kingdom... and the tapestry of vibrant colors with it's depth, richness, strength and intensity is such a royal garment it's stunning! Love to every heart.... and i pray your "love tank" gets filled beyond measure... even more than you can contain.Lovingly....... Phil & Cathryn xoxoxoxo P.S. having a little fun with the wine after Christmas dinner... (just the two of us) so here is a little tribe art! i really am more right brain than left...

Saturday, December 23, 2006

So what can i say.. but.... i'm praying that ya all's season celebration be big and full of HIS presence. I'm at home... and just cleaned MOST of the house.... just feeling like there is a new season coming. If i REALLY wanted to get organized.. it would take much more than 72 hours.... but little bits at a time makes it "do-able" I think that is all part of the "new year"... though i don't go by Gregorian Calender; however there is something about Jan 01-07... that makes me want to bring some order into the new year..... I'm NOT talking about "new year resolutions" more like "New Year's perspective". To allow a new season in our hearts. It's more like allowing God to use this calender of events... and to mark it. So with much hesitation... i'm saying..... YES LORD..... i give you permission to be Lord over my life.. and this small spec of vapor that You want to habitate... to dwell in.let the manger of my heart.. be your resting place.. amen. cathryn

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

This is written by my friend Rebecca..... and it's worth reading..... glad i could post it here!!! Love ya girl!!!! and big Phat Amen! ps i need your picture!Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Presence for Christmas

We get these crazy investment reports/suggestions/speculations emails from some unknown "expert" in the field of investments. I never read them, but today, before I hit the delete button, I read this.."INVEST IN WHAT WILL SURELY BRING A GOOD RETURN." I don't know about what the "expert" was ta;king about , but I know that we invest in what will surely bring a good return . We invest in people. My heart is so filled with this, that I might burst with the love of it before I can even type this. It is not about how much money you make, or your knowledge, or your theology, it is about the ability to take chances and invest LOVE! There is work involved in this. There is time involved, and prayer, and the willingness to take on the fear that the world places in us about loving people. This is not a Christmas emotion, this is the most powerful force in the universe working though us, throughout the year, for GOD IS LOVE! This week, we received two "returns." Someone that we have prayed for, for ten years, and someone that we have prayed for, for two years. And we were able to see the return! Sometimes you don't always get to see it, but you can't go wrong investing in people. Don't buy the world's lie on this. The truth is, He invested in all of us. Loving us is His JOY. So, tonight, my heart is full thinking of the people that God brought into our lives, if your reading this, your probably one of them, it is our JOY for Christmas and throughout the year, to love YOU. I wish that we could love you bigger, but God loves you HUGE! This Christmas, be loved completely by the Father's presence, and invest in loving others in the new year, it will surely bring a good return, and when He returns He will wrap us all up in His huge love, and everyday will be Christmas...

to read more from her and their home church....http://myspace.com/twentyfour7church or for whatever reason that isn't working... look to your right under "Tribe" and just hit there link.They way have a huge Kingdom view.... and are some of my deepest warrior big hearted friends.

Monday, December 18, 2006

shalom ya all-wanted to share..... i've sorta taken a semi- people break the last few days.... had to do a few "have to things" like Phil's boss's Christmas party tonight... it's late and i really need to sleep... but was feeling ya all..... and ya'all's prayers... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! after crying and being frustrated for seemingly weeks....... Friday night at Stephens "release party"... there really was a release in the Spirit....i just went into thrash mode in dance... they went into this warfare drum thing (thought you'd like that paul!)------- it was stoked! (and it's not as though i was taking any authority stuff... i wasn't even thinking on that level....) just drums of the tribe...... blasting a way into 3rd heaven... then it went into some steep instrumental stuff that put me flat out on the floor..... and though it doesn't change some of the stuff i'm walking back into on Tuesday..... it sort of refocused my sight..... THAT ALL OF THIS IS NOT PASSING BY HIM UN-AWARE.....

I felt the Fog of War part.... some of you are familiar with that term... but for those of you that aren't.. it's the place in a fire fight when the smoke from the battle becomes so thick you can't even see your hand in front of your face.... all constants become variables.... and when your shooting you can't even see what your shooting at.... (nor can others... so that's where friendly fire can really do havoc)

My brother Anthony (dude in the pic) once said something that i've NEVER forgotten.... "when your in the "fog of war", old orders are still good orders"......... The order HE always gives me is to "hold ground" in that situation. Don't move until HE says move.... and when He does speak... move quickly. I don't know what He's gonna do next.... but I know ..... HE's on it..... and thank you all for praying heaven move on my behalf.... your prayers did just that.

I know that HE is my constant... in the storm.... HE is the Northern Star..... and HE doesn't change...... even when my emotions are rocking harder than any sea could.

Phil and i watched 911 today... middle of the afternoon.... and i cried for like 3 hours...... it was crushing... and most of ya all know the stuff i was getting before it happened..... so watching it was like Friday nights worship.... but in this realm....... intense.... raw.... painful.... powerful... and passionate. It just reminded me that our life is but a vapor.....and yet..... it is so precious.

That the Kingdom Now part is that we have a divine destiny in the Spirit... that what we do here and now affects multitudes. .... and sometimes just ONE.... for the ONE is our Mission. There was a Marine in that movie... and he really was like Spirit...... focused & intense... and he was walking towards the wreckage---- he said to one guy who basically said...."you can't seen nothing with all that smoke"... the Marine answered back..... "that God uses the smoke to shield our eyes from what we are not ready to see". (and ANTHONY my beloved Marine brother... i was thinking of you at that moment and how proud i am of you ... that you still walk where you can't see)

But that part really hit my spirit hard. - he walked straight into the rubble when the "search was called off because it was night"- He didn't just numb out to the surroundings.... he saw everything.... and yet went searching for ANYONE still alive in all of that. When he found the 2 guys.... in the middle of the dialogue.... he shouted "i'm a Marine.... YOU are our mission".

Our mission is still the same.... Isaiah 61 ---

"The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken, announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners. God sent me to announce the year of his grace- a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies and comfort all who morn. To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes, Messages of joy instead of news of doom, a praising heart instead of languid spirit. Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness" planted by God to display his glory........." (The Message)

Old orders are still good orders!The primary directive of the enemy is always the same.... To steal, kill & destroy.....Let's keep focus ... and carry out ours!That's where i'm at.... thanks to your prayers.... much love beloved! cathryn

Monday, November 13, 2006

Just my thoughts here... ....... How is it we dispense mercy according to how it has been given by man?Has Grace... Mercy...The Cross..... Redemption.... losts it's value?We are sooooo quick to judge... By the template of our opinions.........I'm glad HIS thoughts of me are higher than my own.......

If i were to judge myself.... According to what my judgments are of others........ How my heart wanes from the truer nature that He has ordained for me. My heart has been fractured by the church/ world view.I really wish it were different.... But they both have been one and the same.....

To dispense love based upon what and how it has been given by others.......this is Sin!

I can look at all MY faults, as David said... "My sin is ever before me".... but it is much easier to look at the faults in others and deny the redemptive conviction that compels me to put down my stones.

What is our call to the fallen world before us..... ?

If it is His "grace that is sufficient....For thee.... My Power is made Perfect in weakness"....... Why do we withhold that Grace for another?I'm not minimizing the palate of obscurity and sin that has engulfed this world....

i'm just asking... if the "mercy seat sits above the judgment seat."

Why is mercy an ancient dialect? Have we lost the words that touch the Soul and draws by HIS kindness the repentant heart to the Mercy Seat?

I have learned the heart of Gomer.... Despite all..... ONE pursues!

Gomer went back to her lovers....Because it was easier to believe the lie than to embrace the One who loved her in wholeness. She struggled, ached, rejected and abandoned the Grace that was before her.

Don't we all do the same... when we forsake His view of our lives in compared to the tyranny of the familiar?But HE continually seeks after those who will "worship in Spirit and Truth".

The Truth that without HIM.... our love is so weak it cannot lift it's self serving heart.

I'm speaking this to my heart as well...... HOW DO I LOVE?

The Spirit of His incarnational reality..... that HE lives within me!

How do i................... Love them and me in Truth and Spirit?

How is my Worship..... in Spirit and Truth made Holy..... in the frailty of my weakness?

I don't have it.......................... but HE does..................Breath through me Abba. shalom, to the deepest places............................................Cathryn

Sunday, October 22, 2006

The Lord calls us to be a repairer of the breaches.Today i had the privilege of sitting in a tradional church, for the first time in 15 years.What i felt the Lord nudge in my spirit is to do just that- stand in the gap and pray with mortar in one hand and sword in the other.His heart is so towards His kids. Young and old.... tradional, contemporary and emerging.The palate of colors in the spirit are only muted by our opinions. How we limit His Grace. Jesus asked that we would be ONE..... as He and the Father are one. He transverses the chasm of time and space- how is it we cannot get past the chasm of our opinions. He is offering Freedom in every space... Every heart. The unity in the Spirit will only come when we lay aside ever hindrance, opinion, wounded emotions and hearts.... Let the power of the Cross be made evident in our lives.... According to the Word..... "When He is lifted up ........ He will draw All people ......" This is a picture of how i see the Church today.... It was taken a few miles down the road from my house. Can we stand in unity.... For HIS sake. Can we honor His request that was made in the "upper room" ... The very night He was later in the garden. Lord, let us be ONE.. In You, by You and thru YOU. The Spirit and the Bride say....... COME LORD JESUS!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

I want to swim in the river of His love for us where ever it may lead. I want to taste and see that the Lord is good. I want to share it with all who dare to trust. From the deserts to the mountain tops of His Spirit. He's calling us to trust that the water will not over take us. I also want to be that cool cup of water that others may drink from as well. Can we splash in it as children? This river is real... It is Living Waters. To wash in, taking a bath in His Spirit, to dive deep, to float fearlessly out where the lines from the banks are distantly faint. This is my thought for this day. This is His heart for Me and His kids. Come play with me. Come touch the deep.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

My spirit is heavy today... and i'm not sure as to why. My physical frame has been hurting a lot today and i'm sensing that its more to it than just the barometric pressures in the atmosphere. It's as though there is a storm in the spirit that is brewing and i'm looking from the watchtower surveying the horizon. I feel the cries from the saints that are just tired and need a long rest. Some have been battling for a long season. Yes, some would say.... "the joy of the Lord is your strength" and that is good and true- but sometimes when spoken can fall flat, because there seems to be little mercy behind it. I feel the Lord speaking.... "will you weep with Me ... for I look and see that some are afraid to feel what I feel. My heart for My children breaks ... will You weep With ME?" It appears that this is a season where what can be shaken will be... though i know that things are by His hand or at times through it, anything that is not quickly brought to the cross will be a stumbling block. Brennan Manning's book "Ruthless Trust" goes to some of the heart of the matter. There are really times when the verse.... "when having done all stand" screams in my spirit. In the standing there are tears and sometimes it's trusting beyond reason because the battle seems to be getting stronger and darker. With everything that is in the news over His beloved Israel, the thing that stands out to me is defiant questioning as to Israel's right to exist. For Iran to declare the total destruction of Israel echoes the deeper call to the right of identity. The anti-Semitic spirit that is pushing it's agenda is not just against the Jews... but also against Jesus, for He Was and Is a Jew. It also reminds me of the spirit of Cain... where brother kills brother. Dissension seems to be abounding in the camp. What i believe i'm sensing is the amount of dis-unity in the body. We are brothers and sisters and unity in Love is what the enemy fears most. For "love covers a multitude of sins"... and if we can Love.. we can cover eachother- to see through the Cross is the High Ground in the Spirit. He was raised up.... I want to see things through His eyes... even when it's painful. Shalom all- cathryn

Saturday, August 05, 2006

The first Friday night of the month is a worship night with Jonathan Helser and Stephen Roach with all the levities from Songs of Water.... www.aplacefortheheart.org- so ya all can check out the passion. Tonight we got to bless Stephen ... he's working on a worship CD... It's awesome to see the Body of Christ come together with the only agenda being to Worship! At one point we got the privilege to lay hands on Stephen and Sarah (his beautiful wife)- and SING a blessing over him with tongues of fire. To see things birth in the heavenlies and have it done on earth AS it IS in heaven causes my every fiber to sing. A shofar sounded in the Spirit this night..... this is a season of new birth. The breath of God is blowing on the flames in our hearts.... to trust anew... to believe the impossible, to say YES to His Kingdom coming!!! Father breath a fresh wind of Your Spirit on our hearts. Let Your Kingdom come... and let it be done on earth as IT IS IN HEAVEN!The Spirit and the Bride say Yes ...... and COME.Love to you all .... to the deepest places! Cathryn

Monday, July 31, 2006

This is Angela and Jon... they are dear ones in the spirit and in our hearts!!! Jon is now officially a MARINE!!!! And Angela is AKA Zena Warrior Princess!!! So the two together are a awesome couple!!!Ange came in this weekend all the way from Detroit.- (DROVE!!!) to see Jon for the weekend. So we got in some girl time- did i mention Vino & Pesto. Oh and ummmm worshiping at midnight till 2 AM!!Lord bless these guys big time and cover them for You have set them apart for mighty works in Your name!!Love you guys like crazy!! xoxox cat

Monday, July 24, 2006

If ya wanna hear some cool new .... fresh heavenly notes... manna.... our friend Brandon Willett is working on a CD.... and i can't wait for it to birth... not sure if this will link....but there is an old tool ... known as a pen... and an even older tool ... called paper... that ya can scribble it down on.... www.myspace.com/brandonwillett ----------Get an early peek on the cyber ultra-SOUND..... He's the father of 3 boys and married to one of the most precious ones i know... Julia!!!!!!!!! So check him out... and there is a place you can donate if it hits your spirit.....or if the Lord gives ya any prophetic lotto numbers and your wondering where to send your tithe!!! Love to you Brandon and Julia.... give all the mini-ragamuffins hugs and kisses..... The 3 buddies in the picture are.....To the left Greg Garrett (one of our dearest!).....Husband to Margarita... new daddy to Sophia... Annoyingly prophetic (ask his mother about the Christmas presents!)... Warrior... Seer.... joel olsteen look-a-like.... except he doesn't blink as much... one of the most loyal and brutally honest bad asses that we have in our ragamuffin family..... and has been famous for coining the phrase.. "I'll cut ya"we love ya man!!The middle is the soon to be famous Brandon Willett - Husband to Julia... Father to Isaac, Simon and Jesse... Levite...singer... song writer...poet... quasi- israeli with spaghetti arms on percussions.... dang ya make it look way to easy!!!

The handsome man on the right is my precious husband Phil. Thank you Abba for my blessing cup!!!!!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

This is Amy and Derek Chapman...Two of the coolest treasured friends and dearest warrior hearts that i know. I couldn't do a blog without giving major kudos...... so...... when i figure out how to do their link...... i'll add it in.Amy and Derek... i miss ya soo.... but glad your doing His work..... bless ya with all the sticky Phat Shalom... thatwon't wash off!!!!! I really love this picture.... so precious.... to Me and HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxxo cat

So what are we fighting for..... I've been pondering that for some time now. Too many have fallen as prey for the enemy; the wounds like the blood from the ground is crying out. Does Christian zeal have no code of honor? What of the ones crushed by the weight of stones of accusation. Do we just let them die? If the Father's love so crossed the gauntlet and transverses the chasm of death, hell and the grave, then what is our responsibility to those He has placed around us? How much love has HE placed in our hearts? Is it like the "measure of faith"- is it in proportions? It seems to be dispensed this way. Part of the reason I'm using Love Fiercely is because that is what He is putting on my heart. Perhaps this is only for a season and seemingly a season of intensity in the Spirit. Two things Jesus said is vibrating in my spirit.... "That they would Love one another"- and...... "That they would be one as I and the Father are one"....... So how do we become that. I don't say "do that", cuz it's not about the doing, it's about the being. He LOVED FIERCELY...... and outrageously. His passion for us is more than we can contain or imagine on this side of the Kingdom. However, i feel His desire is for us to see behind the veil and gaze on His beauty for awhile. All that the Father has for us is waiting .... to rest in His arms and listen to His heartbeat. To be known as one who loves well is a passion of my heart, because i believe it's a passion of His heart. To learn to die well daily, live like it's worth it and love fiercely, Shalom, Cathryn