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hey guys! i know i keep saying i’m going to post, and then never get around to it!

truthfully, i just don’t have the desire to be on my computer very much.. it’s strange as i used to go on sooo much! now i feel like it’s almost a chore! (i think that’s a good thing though, because i need to have a life outside of the computer!)

anyways, i’ve just been feeling a little down the past few days.. i felt a little better earlier in the day yesterday, but as the day went on i just turned into an emotional wreck! i have no clue what my problem is! perhaps the bday blues, or maybe the amount of deaths that seem to be happening around me atm, or the cold/dark/wet weather.. who knows.. i just hope this doesn’t last very long!

i was dragged out to go birthday shopping today but i just felt like i didn’t want anything… i felt bad for my mom as she was trying to get me to ask for something or to at least pcik out something she could get me, but all i managed to agree to was a pair of socks..(which she pretty much had to beg me to want)… how pathetic am i?!

yesterday was alright, my ex came over for tea! it was so good to see him.. i was kind of nervous as it had been a while since i’ve seen him and i didn’t know how i should act.. also, his mother was diagnosed with cancer in july (which he just told me about a week or so ago) and is now dying and i was worried that i wouldn’t know what to say.. luckily, everything went pretty smoothly! we have always had really good conversations and understand each other pretty well so i was pleasantly surprised to see that things hadn’t changed much in that way.. i guess after he left i just felt so depressed.. i feel like i’ve wasted so much of my life (SIX years) being sick.. all my friends grew up, some got married, some had kids, some got degrees, some moved far away.. and here i am being selfish and sick, stuck in a 12 year old’s body and having to live at home and be babied in a sense.. (it’s worse right now because i’m not allowed to drive i guess)..

okay, enough of the depressing stuff.. i’m sorry guys, just had to get it out!.. i was stuck at home all day a few days ago and took some random pictures to pass the time..

Just got my removable cast this morning! Blah! I was planning on doing a longer post today but I’m feeling a little too down in the dumps to say much! Perhaps it’s the gloomy weather? I’ll try and be back tomorrow! Sorry guys!
Xox

so it was suggested i do a little post every tuesday answering any questions you guys might happen to have for me…. aaaanyways, since i’m just SO not popular, i have received 4 questions.. (all from the same person:P) … i guess i probably should have announced i was doing this so that you guys actually had an opportunity to ask me stuff but i suppose i could do another round of question answering in a few days if people happen to actually have things to ask me…

so here goes,

1) what’s my favourite band/ type of music..

I enjoy a variety of music.. (besides country and rap… sorry guys)..If i had to pick just one, it would probably be Damien Rice.. i just can’t get sick of their music!.. i tend to go through phases with other bands and will have a favourite song that i listen to over and over again on repeat until i’m sick of it, then move on to the next one.. yeah, i’m cool :)

2)When was the last time I went to the movies?

Oh jeez… i think several years ago when i first came out of hospital, i went with one of my close friends.. i think we saw the cave or something? i really don’t remember.. i have avoided movies for a while now as it involved “too much sitting”… i must get around to seeing another movie soon! (it’s clearly been too long)

3)What are three things I regret not learning to do?

hmmm i really was blessed with so many opportunities as a kid.. i was put in lessons for everything from swimming, gymnastics, and dance to music, art, and sewing…so this one is a toughy … I’d probably say firstly, i really wish i had taken up the cello earlier.. i started playing the fiddle pretty young, but have always secretly been in love with the sound a cello makes and tried to take lessons for a year in grade 11.. but i had way too many other obligations at that point in my life and was forced to give it up..

second, i’d probably have to say i wish i had learned to speak another language fluently… sure, i took french up until 12th grade, but im by no means fluent, and i always admire people that can speak two languages fluently..

thirdly, (k don’t laugh at me for this one).. i have always had a secret desire to be able to wiggle my ears *blush.. i’m so jealous of people that can! i have literally spent hours trying to figure out how to do it but the only way i can get my ears to move even slightly is by opening and closing my jaw really wide.. any tips??

4)If I could re live a day of my life again, which would it be and why?

I honestly cannot come up with a particular day off the top of my head, but i can come up with a feeling or period of my life.. I would want to go back to the time when I didn’t know the meaning of a calorie, when weight did not cause a person to be judged one way or another (honestly, why is it that the first thing a female notices when she sees another woman is her weight!? that’s not right!), when i could get excited over little, meaningless things, when I played “hide and seek” or “cops and robbers” with my neighbourhood friends until dark or until i heard my parents calling me in.. (at that point, it would become hide and seek from the parents!).. i honestly cannot remember the last time i was able to laugh for real.. the kind of laugh where you feel like you might pee your pants, or you can’t catch your breath, or you’re laughing so hard you are crying… that would be amazing to revisit, i think..

alright, well if anyone has any more questions, please feel free to ask.. i hope you all weren’t bored to death with this post!

today’s quote is up in the prior post! so if you missed it, just keep scrolling!!