Game of Thrones: "The Night Lands"Review

A big, fat Westerosian welcome to Pyke! Yes, those Ironborn bastards are now officially a part of the opening credits. Also, welcome back to the show, Arya! We got a little end-of-show peek of you last week, which definitely was not enough. And while I'm welcoming things back to the series I should mention that it was nice seeing Ghost again, as well as officially seeing our first White Walker since the opening scene of the pilot episode last year. "The Night Lands" (named after a subtitled line from Daenerys' one, brief segment) was a strong follow up to last week's premiere, but it remains clear that this show is so busy now that, episode to episode, it's going to have to sacrifice certain characters; especially when entire new lands and lords are being brought into the proceedings.

So while it was amazing to see Arya again, and the scenes featuring Yoren jabbing at the "Gold Cloak" and Arya revealing her identity to Gendry were great, the fact that we actually headed off to the Iron Islands for the first time and spent some, um, quality family time with the Greyjoys definitely meant that everyone else was only going to be afforded a few scenes. I suppose the trick nowadays is making every scene count. But, that being said, I still appreciate the little time we got to spend with Arya and seeing her actually make a new friend in Gendry, while discovering his connection to her late father, was heartwarming. The Stark girls are in such dire straits these days that it's hard to not desperately want them to have a friend. Of course, a friend doesn't automatically mean they're safe. Just look at Syrio Forel.

And speaking of people that aren't overtly awful to Arya, we got our first look at Jaqen H'ghar in his cage, even though he came off as a bit of a low-talking mumbler. You might need to rewind the scene and listen to him again since he has a very unique way of speaking.

Over in Theon's story we got to see our first official "sexposition" scene of the season, with Theon essentially plowing the ship captain's derpish daughter while explaining to her a bit about the denizens of the Iron Isles. But, and I don't like to fully discuss the books in my TV reviews (and won't ever mention things to come), this was the first ever "sexpo" scene on the TV show that was actually from the books. They just changed up the dialogue a bit to make it more exposition-y. These kind of scenes do help paint a full picture of Theon; a guy who treats Robb Stark like kin and yet, when alone with a naked woman, becomes a big braggart and staunch supporter of his house.

That's not to say though that Theon returned to the Pyke with any intent other than to get his father Balon to help Robb attack King's Landing. But he also still expects a certain amount of homecoming glory and wants to make his father, who he barely knows at this point, proud. And with his return to Pyke, Theon is finally put in his place; as the boy who can never really go home. And you can't really blame Balon for coming down so hard on Theon since, well, he's a hard-lined bastard ("Did you pay the Iron Price for it?"). He's way too bitter and far too set in his ways. But as the ruler of a depressing realm populated by salty pillagers, he still has enough sense to recognize strength and potential in a woman, whereas other lords would have simply ignored a daughter like Yara.

WANT: Kraken Adorned Fireplace!

And Yara. Whoa. What a great introduction to her character. It simply speaks volumes that she would allow Theon to pompously molest her just so she might have to opportunity to embarrass him later on. And not just embarrass him by revealing her identity, but by revealing her identity as the child Balon now sees as the "Heir to the Iron Islands."

Daenerys' part in this episode, like I mentioned in the opening paragraph, was way too brief. And it's not as though there weren't entire episodes back in Season 1 that didn't leave her and Jon Snow out completely, but I think I'd rather have no Dany than have only a small piece of her. Still, the scene was important given the fact that Dany stood so tall at the end of Season 1 and has now quickly sunken into dehydration and desolation. It was also very sad to hear Irri scream and cry so much over the mutilation of Rakharo. And while I won't fully dive into the book vs. show significance of his death, I'll just say that the scene represented a "rare occurrence."

MAAKKKE OUUUUTTTT!!!

Jon Snow's story at this point, as interesting as it is, no longer feels like his story. It feels like the Night's Watch's story. Yes, he's might be the centerpiece, but it's strange not fully seeing everything though his eyes, as he pretty much is sharing the experience hand in hand with Sam now. Sam, who's now sweet on the sullied, desperate Gilly and foolishly wants to take her with them. By the end of Jon's episodic arc, he's followed crusty ol' Craster into the woods to witness what he's doing with his occasional newborn sons. I don't necessarily think it was the best way to close out the episode, but I suppose the writers figured it was best to cut to black after seeing a monster.

"Threaten me again and I'll have you thrown into the sea." Man, I would have to say that the ultimate treat of this season, so far, is having Tyrion in King's Landing, cleaning house. Because unlike his adventures in Season 1, where he was mostly paired up with people who couldn't verbally spar with him, King's Landing is filled with obscenely clever characters. His scene with Varys, and his later scene with Cersei, were fantastic. And Tyrion has made it very clear that he is "not Ned Stark." In fact, he might just be the perfect Hand of the King. If only his King wasn't a psychopath who had ordered the murder of all Robert's bastards. That's right, it was Joffrey who gave the word to kill the infant in the brothel, not Cersei. Further indicating that she simply has no hold over Joffrey.

I like that Tyrion holds multiple reasons for doing the things he does; balancing both his want to punish bullies and his need for self-preservation. Like when he banished Janos Slynt to the wall for both killing the baby and for betraying the previous Hand. Oh, and if Tyrion wasn't awesome enough, he also actually stood up for the Night's Watch, even reciting a bit of their own rhetoric as the last true protectors of the realm. "Mormont doesn't lie," he tells the small council.

In closing here, I'll head over to Dragonstone where we watched Ser Davos enlist the ships of pirate/smuggler Salladhor Saan and Stannis fall further under the seductive spell of Melisandre. Davos is such a fascinating character in the books and I fear that, as busy as this show is, he's going to get short sheeted a little bit on the show. What we know of him at this point is that while he's not a religious man - not to the Seven or Melisandre's Lord of Light - he is one hundred percent loyal to Stannis ("King Stannis is my God.") I just wish that there was a bit more on screen to explain why Davos is devoted to Stannis when everyone else in Westeros can't seem to stand him. Yes, there are a few lines of dialogue, but it's hard when you know it runs deeper than that.

Even though Stannis seeks Davos' council, he clearly doesn't trust Davos enough to confess his insecurities to him. That he leaves for Melisandre, who he tells in private that he simply can't overtake his brother Renly's army. She, in turn, distracts him with what seems to be a bunch of empty talk about her Lord o' Light and then, well, her boobs. And so as Stannis mounts her on the Painted Table, seduced by her nudity and her promise of a male heir, we can all tell that Stannis is (foolishly?) playing into whatever her ultimate game plan is.

Overall, "The Night Lands" was a great place-holder episode. Game of Thrones episodes are always amazing, but some, of course, are more eventful than others. It actually reminded me of last year's "The Kingsroad" a bit. A satisfying follow-up to the premiere filled with less-than-monumental happenings. The brothel scene, between Littlefinger and Ros, offered up some actual emotional fallout to last week's infanticide, but it also made me wonder how in the hell Ros has been in two episodes now and not been naked? I know it's a dumb thing to dwell on, but she was so prominently nude all through Season 1 that the writers must be messing with us now. Just a little bit.

Matt Fowler is an Editor of IGN TV. You can follow him on Twitter at @MattIGN.

Warning: No BOOK SPOILERS on the boards. Please do not post anything that will ruin the series for others. You will be banned.

Also, for those who haven't read the books, beware of the boards. Tread lightly. We zap what we can but we're not always going to see something the second it occurs. Some people actually like to get into book vs. show discussions, and we take those on a case-by-case basis. But some a-holes are just out to spoil for you.