Friday, July 16, 2010

If you are not a true Black Sabbath fan, you won't realize the title of my today's post is the title of the song the boys are singing up there. I'm afraid that's the only place in this post that you will find fairies in boots.

Although I can tell you my favorite true fairy tale! Yay!

The fairies names were Lance and Michael Boom-Boom (I kid you not!) and they were flamers! They were also Bliss's friends in the way back machine of Miss Bliss' life.

This was the month of November (Lord help me)

and the place was smack dab in the middle of California. November 16, 1971 to be precise. Allow me to take you there.

Cue in on the state and turn the knob until you can see a big red turn of the century two story house that was called The Big Red Barn on Peralta Way. This is the home of one delicious Miss Bliss who is... if you dial that knob a bit more... sitting her pretty little ass in the middle of the stair case waiting. She is sitting there singing this song:

It is the only song that Miss Bliss can carry off... because she can't sing on key to save her lost soul.

Her soul was tarnished at this time as evidenced by the red eyes of a dedicated pot head birthday girl. Can you see them? She is like many California babes in those days dressed in hippy trippy clothes, clogs and of course the required seed bead necklaces en mass. Big silver hoops hang from her ears and tickle her neck amid dark longish natural curls.

Miss Bliss is excited. A knock comes on the door... it's Tye-dye, Lance and his too young to be legal lover, Michael Boom-Boom. As a favor, the Medusa has agreed to remain upstairs and out of their hair... this favor cost two joints.

Tye-dye is wearing the fabulous antique Chinese robe and dress that was handed down in her family. She is tall and has Peggy Lipton style long blond hair. Miss Bliss thinks that she is stunningly gorgeous in this get up. Lance, a lanky redhead is dressed in flirtatious hip hugging bell bottoms, a silk shirt and completes his outfit with a woven sash tied at the side of his hip.

Michael Boom-Boom... and yes we called hm the whole three names...is something to see. He is short and stocky. His blond hair is cut like the Dutch Boy you see hanging out on paint cans. He has Neil Young mutton chops that are brown. His nails are painted bright red. He's wearing a flowery blouse... probably his mother's... a leather and medallion choker on his neck and snug jeans. Clogs peak out from under his pants and heavy chest hair burbles out the neck of his blouse. His face is made up like Freddie's when Queen was into glam.

Gee... I never really thought about it before but Michael Boom-Boom looked like a blond Freddie!

They eat a lovely Chinese food diner at the lion footed table that lil' Miss Bliss used to hide under for comfort... and drink enough saki to add a good buzzz

to the grass glow. None of them have one fully functioning brain cell between them but they are happy and in a great mood to celebrate the profound event of Miss Bliss turning 17.

Lance is the oldest. Somewhere close to 25. Tye-dye and Michael Boom-Boom are both 16. They have a surprise for Miss Bliss... a secret mission! Yippie!

Off they trot to the car and mysterious location. Before take-off Lance and Michael Boom-Boom kiss.

Miss Bliss giggles at the thought: Love The One You're With, then looks at Tye-Dye and immediately cancels that idea. But it makes her laugh harder. Hey... pot really does make you stupid.

Bliss watches life on the main streets... the cars and people walking around. In those days, you could smoke a joint in the open and not get into trouble, but paranoia made you hide them anyway if you saw a cop or if a car slowed down. Bliss giggled at a group of college aged kids doing that very thing as the car turned into a suspiciously middle class suburbia. Who did they know who lived in this area?

They curbed the car next to a normal looking house. Warm lights glowed in the windows and several other cars were parked around. Miss Bliss was very curious now. What did we have here? She listened for music and heard none. Not a party then... hummm.

Inside the house a normal enough looking living room for the seventies... gold shag carpet, avocado tones, big bottomed amber lamps and lots of people...

a notably mostly white crowd. This was a Buddhist meeting. Too freaking much! Bliss tried hard to keep her plastic smile from cracking into chuckles.

The meeting began and a man pulled out a guitar. He strummed it and began to sing... and please forgive my spelling on this...

"There's a meeting here tonight, there's a meeting here tonight, Rama, Shaka, bukoo there's a meeting here tonight!" He then quickly pointed his guitar neck at a girl and said "What has Buddha done for you today?"

The girl wiggled with joy and popped to her feet. She was in fact, the only Asian person present.

"Well this is so great! I wanted to go to this concert but I didn't have the money and so I chanted on it and I got a $50 tip!"

Yay! Yay! Yay! Everyone is mighty impressed and the man with the guitar starts his little song again and points to another fellow who shared a similar story of good fortune after his daily chant for some material thing.

Bliss loses herself in the absurdity. I mean... didn't Buddha give up his worldly goods on his search for enlightenment? WTF?

A brief lesson on chanting followed. It sounded something like this: "nommohoranggaykeeoh" with a humming undertone.

A new man stepped forward when the guitar and testimonials ended. He looked like somebody's dad.

This was the evening's speaker. Bliss and her birthday buddies were all seated on a long orange sofa. The man looked straight at them and asked this simple question:

"How do you know that the sofa you are sitting on is really THERE?"

Miss Bliss, Tye-Dye, Lance and Michael Boom-Boom all looked down to be sure that the sofa was indeed THERE under their collective fannies. The room erupted in laughter.

"Thank you." said the man, "For making my point." He then launched into a "What is reality" sort of lecture. Too much big thought for Miss Bliss's head.

Afterward the birthday party was moved to end the evening with dancing at a gay bar. No one bothered to card them. And though it was an odd experience, Bliss and Tye-Dye danced together... since it was unlikely that any straight guys would belly up and offer and they had a strange but fun time. It remains one of Miss Bliss's very favorite birthday memories... albeit, a foggy one. Tye-Dye, feel free to correct me on any issue. Just an episode in the theater of the bizarre that often entered into Miss Bliss's life.

So today's question should you care to answer it:

What was a favorite bizarro memory of something that occurred in your life?

22 comments:

haha! I don't think I have anything comparable, but that was a great story! I've been missing Miss Bliss :-) For my 17th birthday, I'm pretty sure I just opened presents with my family and had some cake...

Well, I don't have that really. I mean, I have lots of things that other people might think out there, like having dinner with Bill Shatner and dressing up like a borg, but at the time that was rather normal for me.

Stuff that I thought was really weird at the time, little trips off to The Twilight Zone, I was scared. I might laugh and think that it's a cool story to tell people later, but when it was happening to me, I didn't like it at all.

Heh, heh. You reminded me of one of the "evil songs" I sometimes sing my boys: There's a beatin' here tonight, there's a beatin' here tonight, you can tell by Daddy's angry face there's a beatin' here tonight...

I've heard the neo-Buddhist version of that song, though I think the idea of Buddha doing things for you is a bit syncretic.

I also have heard of a Zen master who, when a student started questioning "reality" and all, would give him a good stiff slap and ask them if they thought he was "really there." ;-)

Maybe someday I'll tell you about hanging out with the Hare Krsnas. If nothing else, I acquired a love for Indian cuisine, so at least there's that. Actually, I liked them a lot, though I didn't sign up in the end.

well, you again remember waaaaaay more than i do. i remember the dress and the jacket, the people and the buddist meeting - i even remember the materialist chant - i remember the beautiful dining room table - i remember the evil one not being there - i don't think i knew she was upstairs....... she was the type to sneak down just to scare you...... i am glad glad glad you had a great birthday! you so deserved it!

hey, michael took that car and lost the keys all on his own. i clearly remember thinking they would never be found (there in the grass), but you kept looking, and indeed you FOUND them!!!!!!! i'd say at least you had ethics.

well i dunno if it counts but when i had surgery at the age of 22 i remmeber waking up in recovery...sorta...i mean i was now cognizant but couldn't move or speak. i could hear people around me but couldn't open my eyes. i became aware of a certain queasy feeling in my stomach. i felt them take the hat off my head and heard the nurses gasp at my long thick braids. i felt sicker. i knew i was going to puke...but i still couldn't move or speak or open my eyes. i felt the vomit rising in my throat in slow motion and recall thinking, "so this is how it ends, huh? i'm gonna die like jimi hendrix. not exactly how i thought i'd go out." then just as i began to spew two hand grabbed my face and turned it toward a basin....thank god. i was very grateful for those hands.

I don't know about a bizzaro memory, but damn! That's one of my favorite Black Sabbath tunes, and I had never heard (or seen) that performance of it. Killer! That's as good as heavy metal gets, IMHO. And there's the bonus of seeing, up close, Tony Iommi's prosthetic finger tips, not often seen. Thanks for bringing this into my day!