Friday, July 30, 2010

Second to Last World Cup Post

Been busy as fuck, but two last posts on the World Cup to scrape out of the pipeline and then we are done.

There were more than a few countries who found the British supporters’ attitude to their own team a little confusing. The media named them “the boo boys”, a chorus of agitated fans quite happy to let loose with the jeers when their home side failed to perform.

It seemed especially bizarre to the Australians – we were happy when the Socceroos won, and disappointed when they lost. Anger really didn’t seem to come into the equation.

But speaking to a British fan the reasoning becomes clear – they had spent all year hearing about the million pound contracts, the mansion homes and the model girlfriends. Mostly, they had been hearing how this was the most talented English team to grace the finals. When they underperformed, it was beyond frustrating.

That’s a luxury the Australian team had that the British didn’t; at the end of the day, the Socceroos weren’t expected to go too far. If anything, we were just happy to be there. For the British though, anything less than making the semi finals was deemed a disaster.

That’s the whole problem with the weight of expectation, and it differs wildly per team. There is no point in comparing a soccer mad country like Brazil’s accomplishments with that of say, New Zealand.

So just how well did the teams of the World Cup perform as per expected? I’ve devised a handicap system to rate each team, and the equation is quite simple:

(Where they were expected to finish) – (Where they finished) = score

For instance, the Netherlands were given the seventh best odds of winning the Cup, and finished second. (7) – (2) = 5. They have a score of plus five. Get it?

Japan exceeded all expectations to make it through to the round of 16. I was watching a pre match commentary at some ungodly hour, and vaguely remember hearing that the Japan Manager rewarded the team’s ascent into the round of 16 by telling them they didn’t have to wash their own uniforms after that match. Christ, don’t quote me on that – I was drunk or half asleep for most of the World Cup. But the Japanese are a little kooky – sounds like something they would do.

Uruguay also did better than expected, finishing fourth overall. We know a guy (through about three degrees of separation) from Uruguay living here in Adelaide, who put $500 on the team to win the World Cup before the start of the tournament.

Had they made it through, he would have won $50,500. Just a little more exciting than the bet I made.

God bless the Kiwis – only undefeated team in the entire tournament (Three draws).

England made a real pig’s dinner of this cup – people continue to overlook the fact that the 11 amazing players don’t necessarily make an amazing team. Spain, Argentina, Brazil – these teams look and act like families, England looks like 11 reluctant co-workers.

Still, they didn’t fuck it up anywhere nearly as bad as the previous final players France and Italy. France in particular, who not only threw the baby out with the bath water, but managed to back their car over the baby’s head too.

One more post to come on the World Cup, then we will put this beast to rest.

Monday, July 12, 2010

I'm swapping my clogs for flamenco shoes

It’s been a ferociously busy week, and a few posts fell by the wayside. Here is a picture leftover from a post where I was creating match up images for the semi finals. I imagined the teams as characters in Street Fighter II, but instead of humans they were Squid – so kind of a Squid Fighter II mash up, and yeah, I’m not really sure where I was going with this:

Sat on the couch like a Zombie this morning from 4am until just before 7am watching the Netherlands lose 0-1 to a superior Spain. I was disappointed that the Shoddy Dozen didn’t pull through with the goods in the end, but part of me was quite happy with the result for three reasons:

1. Spain were the better side – Netherlands played like a bunch of hoodlums in the first half. They ended up scoring nine yellow cards for the match – two of which should have been red cards. This is what shits me about the inconsistency of the refs, how can a flying karate kick to the chest not be a fucking red card?

2. The Shoddy Dozen wager lasted the entire tournament. In fact, the last three matches I sat down and watched could have won me the $220. It’s rare to have a bet carry through for so long. In hindsight, I should have put a bit of cash on Spain to win the tournament when they were the remaining favourite and still had two games to go. I think they were at about 4 to 1 odds then. If I had put $50 on Spain before the quarter finals were over, then I would have gone into the Final with this wager: a Netherlands win would make me a 65 dollar profit, a loss would have made me...a 65 dollar profit. Oh well, lesson learnt – and a sure win wasn’t quite as exciting as the one big winner takes all bet.

3. If the Netherlands had won, then Paul the Psychic Octopus would have been wrong with his final prediction. He has been my favourite personality of the World Cup. I love the fact that somebody in a German Aquarium decided to let one of the sea life pick the winners of the matches, and his co-workers and the media thought ”fuck it, why not?”

Speaking of Paul the Octovoiyant, his first winning pick was pretty much decided a fluke, as that was a 50/50 chance of choosing that bad boy. But eight predictions in a row is another feat altogether. He had a one in 256 chance of pulling that off. If you had chucked 20 bucks on his first prediction, and decided to rollover the winnings through to the finish – Paul would have netted you over eight thousand dollars. Jesus.

The Germans loved their eight legged friend of course, up until he predicted their loss to Spain. Then they wanted to fry the fucker into calamari rings, and sent multiple death threats to his aquarium. Then, to add insult to injury, they sang mid game chants declaring Paul’s mother a slut. Harsh.

Typing "slut octopus" into Google Image search revealed this picture. Plus several hundred Japanese porn site photos that will haunt me for weeks.

Anyway, the 2010 World Cup is now over, and I thank you non Soccer fans for baring with me through this.

I’ve got a handful of posts to wrap this week up (awards I have created for various WC antics, a list of Cup villains, and final thoughts on the whole shebang) – and then we will return to our regular viewing.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Estaba desnudo cuando me escribió este

Click-click.

Boom.

There is one last obstacle that stands between me and my $220 windfall, and that’s Spain, who were the favourite to win the cup at the start of the tournament, and are still around come semi final time.

Who knows, maybe Germany will hate-fuck Spain with a 4 nil drumming like they did to Argentina, and, er, the Socceroos a few games before that.

Worst case scenario, Spain beats Germany and then Netherlands or Uruguay in the final and win the World Cup – but even then that means my wager has lasted the entire tournament, which was kinda the point anyway. A financial carrot to keep me interested through all of the red cards and buzzing horns.

Non Soccer fans rejoice in the fact that the World Cup will end soon, and we’ll be back to our usual programming.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Now with less fav

I watched the Netherlands vs Brazil game at the Alma last night. Sorta.

I missed the Brazil goal when I was buying beers, and then missed the Holland goal while I was in the toilet, and missed the second Holland goal while I was, well, buying beers again.

Talk about bad timing. Still, the result was more than desirable, as another Favourite is knocked out of the running.

More than that, the Netherlands win has guaranteed that my World Cup bet will last until the Final game (and may even pay off sooner than that), as a final berths will have to go to either Netherlands or the other quarter final winner, Uruguay (both being Shoddy Dozen teams).

Germany play Argentina in a few hours, and hopefully knock out another favourite.

In other news, this little batch of writing constitutes the Shoddy Blog’s 250th post.

Let’s celebrate the occasion with an oxymoron; it’s a new Old Spice commercial:

UPDATE: Germany have taken apart Argentina with a 4 nil victory. Spain is the sole Favourite remaining.