The Week In Quotes: December 14, 2012

AS A CARD-CARRYING MCCOWN BROTHER, I PROMISE THAT I CAN THROW A BALL IN THE GENERAL VICINITY OF LARRY FITZGERALD FOR AN NFL PAYCHECK

"Do you play?" -- Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt, to beat reporter Kent Somers, when asked about who his quarterback would be next week (Twitter)

MY BABY ONLY KISSES ME ON NEW YEAR'S IF I MAKE A BCS BOWL

"Go find a place I can twirl my sweetheart. It's New Year's Eve, right? Might get a kiss. To me, it'd be a great weekend, highlighted by a tremendous game." -- LSU head coach Les Miles, on heading to the Chik-Fil-A Bowl. (YouTube)

IF THERE WAS ONE THING MISSING FROM JOE BUCK'S ON-AIR REPERTOIRE, IT WAS PRETENTIOUSNESS

HE HAS TO GO. HIS PLANET NEEDS HIM.

"I asked Coach (Charlie) Weis at KU and Coach (Dana) Holgorsen at West Virginia (the same question), just so I know my relationship with them. (Tuberville) was just telling me he coached at Miami and Auburn, he coached 10 years and recruited Ray Lewis and kind of blew the question off I didn’t even realize." -- Hutchinson (Kansas) CC offensive tackle Devonte Danzey, on asking Tommy Tuberville how long he'd stay in Lubbock if he didn't get fired (Wreck'em 247)

"The waitress brought our food out, and we thought (Tuberville) went to the bathroom, but he never came back to dinner. Then next thing I know, the next day, he made an announcement that he’s going to Cincinnati." -- Danzey on his recruitment by Texas Tech (Wreckem247)

SOUNDS LIKE A ROUGH BREAK FOR ROGER, HE'LL HAVE TO GO TAKE A PUNISHMENT LAP IN HIS SCROOGE MCDUCK COIN VAULT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT HE'S DONE

"If one were to punish certain off-field talk in locker rooms, meeting rooms, hotel rooms or elsewhere without applying a rigorous standard that separated real threats or "bounties" from rhetoric and exaggeration, it would open a field of inquiry that would lead nowhere." -- Former NFL commissioner Paul Taglaibue, on Roger Goodell's heavy-handedness (Shutdown Corner)

"I continue to maintain that I did not participate in a pay-to-injure program or facilitate any such program. I appreciate that Mr. Taglaibue did not rush to judgment, taking into consideration all facts presented to him, before ruling– something that was clearly not done by Commissioner Goodell in previous hearings." -- Saints defensive end Will Smith, on his suspension being vacated (Pro Football Talk)

CSI IS GOING TO USE A SECOND-ROUND PICK ON ME, THEN DISCOVER I'M ONLY GOOD AT JUGGLING

"I'm working in the world of the arts, becoming a thespian, and when that happens, life is going to be so wonderful," -- Former West Virginia quarterback Pat White, on his upcoming career plans (Dr. Saturday)

THIS CHRISTMAS, I'M ASKING FOR A SECOND RECEIVER WHO CAN BEAT MAN COVERAGE

"Right now, metaphorically, our season looks like this tree. We're standing, bare and just ugly ... but there's still hope. As a kid, it doesn't matter how your Christmas tree looks -- you're still waiting for Christmas Day. You have hopes and dreams that Santa Claus is going to bring you the things you asked for. It's always a possibility, and where we stand today, our goal is to win the NFC championship, beat the Green Bay Packers, and win the Super Bowl. All that can still be under this Christmas tree." -- Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall, on a small tree he brought to his press conference (Shutdown Corner)

SURE, I WOULD LISTEN IF ANYONE CALLED

"It's a job that has tremendous upside, in a great place. I would like to be considered. If that opportunity arose, I'd certainly be interested." -- Former North Carolina head coach Butch Davis, on the opening at South Florida (Tampa Bay Times)

BY EXPANDING THE PLAYOFFS, WE COULD MAKE PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT ALL THE OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS I'VE DONE AS COMMISSIONER ... AT LEAST FOR A FEW HOURS

"Of course, something that we discussed in the past is expanded playoffs. That is something that we teed up today. We will probably be looking at it with the committee over the next several months. Right now, we are at 12 teams, obviously. We will look at probably 14 or 16. The committee will be looking at that." -- NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, on possibly expanding the playoffs, the day after his public browbeating (National Football Post)

GEORGIA TECH CAN FIND PLENTY OF PEOPLE TO BLOCK, NO HARM DONE

"It’s a crying shame. The (coaches) bent over backwards to help him. He was on his way to getting a college degree from Georgia Institute of Technology. It’s a shame he had to be a little selfish." -- Georgia Tech wideout Jeff Greene's high school coach, Chad Phillips, on his decision to transfer (College Football Talk)

THE PATRIOTS DID NOT PERSONALLY DELIVER MY PRESS BOX FOOD ON MONDAY; DISRESPECTFUL

"It really [ticked] me off. It was disrespectful to us to run the same play over and over and be successful." -- Dolphins defensive lineman Tony McDaniel, on the Patriots running the same play over and over again in the fourth quarter (Palm Beach Post)

YOU'RE NOT REALLY GOING TO GIVE BARRY ALVAREZ YOUR POWER OF ATTORNEY, ARE YOU?

"We’ve discussed that already here as an item in the contract. Before discussion with any other program, that we have to be contacted." -- Wisconsin Athletic Director Barry Alvarez, on new language in the Wisconsin college football contract (College Football Talk)

IT'S NOW CLEAR THAT RICH EISEN MUST ELIMINATE YOU WITH HIS MIND

"Yeah, I mean I’m not an actual NFL ‘football’ player,’ I mean, come on. We know our roles. I had the same type thing in 2008. I had to push DeSean Jackson out of bounds. Somehow I chased him down, don’t know how I did it, and I fell and my knee blew up. Every now and then you get one. We’re punters and kickers. We’re a different breed.’" -- Texans punter Donnie Jones, on injuring himself during a tackle attempt on Monday Night Football (Sports Grid)

I THINK WE'RE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO BOBBY PETRINO'S BRIEF STINT AT ARKANSAS STATE

"Lol dese coaches run a train on Arkansas State, get a nut an gone bout they business" -- Arkansas State defensive back Don Jones II, on his team's inability to hold on to a coach (Deadspin)

I BLAME THE UNDER ARMOR COMMERCIALS

"Get the f*ck off my field. Get the f*ck off my field baby. F*ck off my field, man. Get the f*ck off my field!" -- Panthers defensive end Greg Hardy, mocking Matt Ryan's similar remarks from the first time the Panthers and Falcons met in Week 4 (Deadspin)

THAT IS TO SAY THAT HE CAN ACTUALLY PROPEL HIMSELF FORWARD WITH HIS LEGS

"Teams throw on first and second down, so you have to be able to run and cover. You don't want liabilities in coverage in your base. I don't think he's a liability. Does he run well enough? He's not speed-deficient, but with his play speed, in coverage, there are some specific guys you'd have questions about." -- Anonymous AFC executive, on Manti Te'o (NFL.com)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 14 Dec 2012

24 comments, Last at
16 Dec 2012, 6:19am by
evenchunkiermonkey

Comments

That Tony McDaniel quote is special. I guess some people think respect should be automatic.
I'm trying to imagine an athlete in a different sport making this kind of complaint. Would a boxer complain if his opponent repeatedly landed jabs? Should Kobe Bryant stop shooting jumpers? What about Mariano Rivera's cutter? "That's really disrespectful. He kept throwing a pitch I couldn't hit."

I would say that if they kept running the same play over and over and were never stopped at it, then in fact the Pats did in fact have no respect for Mr. McDaniel and his pals, and were given no reason to acquire any.

I think that a baseball player that kept facing nothing but fastballs would feel disrespected. A baseball player who couldn't hit a ball knowing that a fastball was coming would feel embarrassed and would feel that the lack of respect was warranted.

Good grief, is there a more highly developed form of pond scum than than big time college football coach? I know, I know, that is an unfair stereotype, but unfair stereotypes about professions often contain large kernals of truth. I'd rather have, as a party in a business transaction, a slip and fall litigator, who sells used cars as a hobby, than a guy who has held more than one job as head football coach at a university trying to achieve or maintain prominence in the sport.

As a member of the Pond Scum Anti-defamation League you are right, stereotyping pond scum as college football head coaches is extremely unfair. Pond Scum provides massive benefits to society. To further your education, Pond Scum is just algae, and algae creates 70 - 80% of all the oxygen on Earth. Big time college football coaches, unfortunately, consume this valuable resource, and also contribute to rising global temperatures by converting it into heated carbon dioxide more frequently than most other humans, television and radio football pundits aside.

If you continue to use such heinous comparisons when talking about pond scum we will be forced to take legal action. We have Peter Ginsberg on retainer.

Point taken, but I'll say this about the big time college basketball scum: the rosters they manage for 7 figure salaries, as the players on the rosters are forced to settle for low-to-mid five figure annual compensation, have a much higher percentage of guys who will end up making real money at their sport. A top 20 basketball school will probably have well more than half their roster eventually making pretty good money, playing basketball, somewhere on the globe. The football coaching scum at a top 20 program might have, at most, 10 to 15 percent of his roster eventually making good money playing football. Sometimes, it will be well below 10%. No, when it oomes to larcenous exploitation via a collusive, price fixing, cartel, the football scum really know how to leave the peons with crumbs.

Wait, there's a dominant college player who might not have the skills to immediately play every down in the NFL? Really? I'm shocked! But two-down linebackers still get drafted, and this comment on Te'o doesn't actually make me think Te'o can't be a three down linebacker. He probably can't cover Aaron Hernandez. But that's okay, there are about six people in the league who can.

If Te'o isn't one of them, then you might not want to draft him in one of the top spots. Linebackers, who are not terrific edge rushers at the NFL level, have a lot of value, but unless he is a relly great linebacker, there's a pretty good chance that a talented player at another position would be more helpful in winning games.

I was loving the Bears Packers back-and-forth this week, especially when Brandon Marshall asks to be single covered for Christmas.

‘‘I’m looking forward to one-on-one coverage. Hopefully, those guys in games like this may go to their coach and say, ‘Let me have him. I want Brandon Marshall. I want to stop Brandon Marshall. Let me have him one-on-one, press coverage.’ And we’ll see what happens.” -Brandon Marshall asking the Packers for early Christmas gifts.

“Man, I wish the Bears would play us one-on-one and man-to-man. “I think he’s smart. That reverse psychology, I think it’s pretty impressive. So yeah, man, the Bears are always playing cover 2. I think they’re scared not to play cover 2.” -Greg Jennings gives the Bears his Christmas list.