Fashion 2012: Tigers, Fringes and Farce

From Charlotte Olympia's look-on-in-wonder accessories to the Olympiad's look-on-and-wonder gold moment, fashion 2012 had its share of highlights. Here are the stand-outs, and how they'll impact on 2013.

1. Anthropomorphic Onesies
My mole (fluffy costume, available in a shop near you) on the student picket line inform me that the habit of going out dressed as a tiger or a bunny peaked in 2010. But the media only really picked up on the trend for dressing like five-year-olds this year, courtesy of this newspaper. Demand soared, even in John Lewis, previously a much-loved and respected institution and decidedly non-kinky in its offerings.
Publicity being the oxygen of sales, we can only tremble at the prospect of this spreading to other demographics. Bankers in shark costumes, politicians as snakes…actually, you can start to see some value in onesie mania, although so far, no designer has produced a catwalk version.

2. Wardrobe crises
Dreary red carpets, the talented Nicolas Ghesquière's unceremonious departure from Balenciaga, culottes, the return of midriffs, the Sinking of the Stiletto and the Wobbling of the Wedge at Aintree…2012 was rich in fashion farce, but none engendered as much anxiety as Tom and Katie's split back in July. If Katie really was going to settle for a measly $400,000 a year in child maintenance, what would become of Suri's fabled position as style guru for the under eights? By the time you've paid for the complete Sylvanians, $400,000 is barely going to keep a tot in customised Birkins.
Luckily for the world's economy, the post-nup was drawn up in record time and with "the utmost co-operation" (ie Katie won't be spilling any of those beans). Presumably, Tom's third divorce was not cheap.
Forecast for 2013
Suri-spending to continue unabaited. Endless sightings of Divorced Katie Doing Completely Normal Stuff That No Other Multi-Millionaire Does While Wearing Her Newly Launched Fashion Line - such as getting the groceries - will further boost the Holmes & Yang range, creating another silver lining for the US balance sheet.

3. The Duchess of Cambridge's fringe, and other hairy moments

Hold that front page. Because in the autumn, the DoC had a minor image tweak. Granted, that fringe is barely perceptible to the naked eye, but in fashion terms, things have gone quiet on Kate recently, largely owing to her being laid low by hyperemesis gravidarum, so this was what's known in style nomenclature as straw-clutching.
More compellingly, although perhaps not for entirely saintly reasons, Siobhain Fletcher's courageous decision to grow a beard for Movember to highlight some of the side effects of polycystic ovary syndrome, from which she suffers, claimed headlines and fascination around the world. Factor in Bradley Wiggins's wide-burns and Ben Affleck's miraculously shaggy man-do in the Oscar-touted Argo (wasn't he recently thinning up there?), and this has been the Year of Hair.
Forecast for 2013
Many more follicle-related dramas.

Referring to Christy Turlington's maturing style in her Vanity Fair interview, Kate Moss said: "You can think twin sets but you cannot wear twin sets." Well! I think we all know what she means by that. Even more spiky, Cathy Horyn, the New York Times critic, called Hedi Slimane, the designer at YSL/Saint Laurent/Yves Saint Laurent/Whatevs, a twit, or words to that effect, and he in turn tweeted that she dressed badly. Dorothy Parker's reputation for devastating put-downs is unlikely to be challenged.
Most stabbingly, Karl Lagerfeld called Adele fat. This you must never do. Interestingly, he did not call Anne Hathaway thin, even after her 25 lb weight-loss for Les Mis.
Forecast for 2013
Given the wrath unleashed on him post- his fat comments, Lagerfeld will continue to reign himself in. Fortunately, Moss is shaping up to be a promising bard of pointed insults.

5. Trouble at t'mill

Aquascutum, Jaeger, Marks & Spencer's… ironically, given how fashionable Heritage British is, it was a tough year, even for those brands with the most venerable native traditions. It took a French company - Chanel - to save the Scottish Barrie knitwear company from closure in August. As Clive Brown, Barrie's sales director said: "We're fantastic at making our product, less good about telling the world all about it." Admirable on a human level, less so on a business one.
Forecast for 2013
If the Government won't support the arts and design disciplines in this country - or even remember to include them on its proposed new EBacc exams - couldn't it at least sponsor some students to market them?

In a year when competition was stronger than ever - from Marc Jacobs to Jean Paul Gaultier - it was our own dear Queen whose fashion credentials were finally recognised. From the fairy-tale Norman Hartnell wasp waists she donned in the Forties and Fifties, to the surprisingly chic shift dresses of the Sixties, and culminating in that blingily on-trend gold dress she wore to the Jubilee concert, Her Majesty emerged - as countless trawls through the archives this year revealed - as a fashion follower of some note. Who knew?
Forecast for 2013
Matching dresses and coats, and the chunky 2in heel back big time.

7. Bra wars

After years of threatening to achieve what the Luftwaffe and Napoleon couldn't, Victoria's Secret finally invaded these shores. A large shop duly opened on that sacred, ancient British site of worship - Bond Street. Resisting the Victoria Secret's warrior seemed futile. Although she is called an angel, you can't fool us. She wears more war paint than Lily Savage and carries giant missiles strapped to her chest. Men, for some reason, fall at her feet.
This has caused the prevailing religion of the land - M&S lingerie - many sleepless nights. Plucky M&S fought back with a Rosie Huntington-Whiteley "designed" range, with padding, lace, frills and peekaboo bits. The invasion may, after all, be routed at Hadrian's wall.
Forecast for 2013
Underwear Armageddon.