Friday, June 25, 2010

Outward Bound

Your Mama has popped an early morning nerve pill so that we can psychologically prepare our self to hop in a car with the usually sauced but recently rehabbed Fiona Trambeau'slezbaru in order to scream across the Mojave Desert to meet Chow Lee, his Lovely Laundress, and their Trio of Bandits who may or may not make Your Mama want to rip their sassy, pre-teen throats out before this journey into the wilderness is through.

What this means is that we're taking a bit of a vacay kids. By the end of the day Your Mama will be deep in the boondocks without telephone or wireless services and won't be back until next week iffin we decide to come back at all. Now butter beans, try to control yourselves in Your Mama's absence. We don't want to have to take the time to give y'all a smack down when we return.

Bye now.

P.S. Here's a few tidbits and morsels to keep your mouth wet while were gone.

Faith Hill and Tim McGrawfinally sell their Beverly Park spread, the one with the super gay bathroom, for way less than the $14,800,000 they wanted.

Frederick C. Wehba lists LePalaisduCouchant, his newly built and never occupied Beverly Hills mega-mansion he decided is too damn big to live in.

Country king Alan Jackson just sold Sweetbriar, his massive mansion in Nashville for a heart stopping and record breaking twenty eight million and some change and now he's looking to unload a waterfront house in Tequesta, FL for $1,270,000 because he's got a new place in Jupiter Island, the very same Jupiter Island where Tiger Woods is completing a colossal contemporary mansion and where Celine Dion built a private water park in her front yard.

Have a great vacay Mama, and what a gorgeous picture. Here's hoping you encounter similar scenery to keep the kiddos from jangling your nerves. If that doesn't work, you can always just double up on the pills, lol. Enjoy!

Oh, dear. How does one put a price on a monument to excess and bad taste? It seems as if one throws $68.5 million smackers against the wall and waits to see if it sticks. Or watch, as it simply slides down to the ground as most piles of dog doo are want to do. Iff'in by some miracle of chance yours truly were to have that kind of pocket change in the cushions of the couch, I'm confident in saying I'd rather use it to finance a home for unwed Republican mothers before laying it out even half of it out for that temple to unimaginable waste. Honestly chickens, it's not even usable as a corporate retreat or conference facility. I'd say his best hope of recovering a dime would be for a extremely local siesmic event to return it to the place to which it belongs.But I digress. I hope you have a stunning time Mamma, and I find that a subtle stash of Nerve Pill Trail Mix does wonders for the vocally abhorrent set when I'm on those type of adventures.