I've been on-and-off with my current boyfriend for years now. We love each other, and are great together, but the issue is (typically) commitment.

He made it pretty clear from the start that he has no interest in marriage or kids and probably never will. I used to feel this way when I was younger, so I guess I was hoping he'd change his mind.

My aim is to (eventually) get married and have kids so by staying with him, I feel like I'm missing out on other opportunities. It also feels like he is keeping his options open to see if a better girl comes along. Why else would you not want to get married?

if hes not willing to commit to you then break up with him, dont hang around to see if you can change his mind because the very fact that YOU have to change his mind on marrying you is a major issue if he doesnt want to do it dont force him break up and move on because you can do better, if he loves you as much as you cl;early love him he should understand how you feel and at least talk to you about it, dont wait to see if your right and that better girl comes along, but before doing anything talk to him communicate and clear the air

(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been on-and-off with my current boyfriend for years now. We love each other, and are great together, but the issue is (typically) commitment.

He made it pretty clear from the start that he has no interest in marriage or kids and probably never will. I used to feel this way when I was younger, so I guess I was hoping he'd change his mind.

My aim is to (eventually) get married and have kids so by staying with him, I feel like I'm missing out on other opportunities. It also feels like he is keeping his options open to see if a better girl comes along. Why else would you not want to get married?

What do you think?

Because it's an enormous commitment, just because he doesn't want to marry you just yet doesn't mean he might not later on.

How old are you?

(Original post by rabbits_eat_tigers)
if hes not willing to commit to you then break up with him, dont hang around to see if you can change his mind because the very fact that YOU have to change his mind on marrying you is a major issue if he doesnt want to do it dont force him break up and move on because you can do better, if he loves you as much as you cl;early love him he should understand how you feel and at least talk to you about it, dont wait to see if your right and that better girl comes along, but before doing anything talk to him communicate and clear the air

Oh be serious! If my boyfriend kept saying he wanted to marry me and have kids I'd freak out, not because I don't love him, and I'm not committed to our relationship but it's a very scary thing to think about. Marriage is tough! Why do you need to be married young to prove you love someone?

EDIT for the OP: As for the ''and never will want that'' part, it's doubtful. Men get really broody as well. Want you want at 19/20/21 etc is usually a lot different to 27/28/29. Maybe he's just being sensible?

Personally, I don't see any point in staying together if you have no future. But, if you're enjoying spending time with him now, why stop it? You can enjoy life at the moment, and settle down later in life.

Some people just don't want to marry or have kids, it has nothing to do with seeing who is next in line. I know a girl who is in a long term relationship, but doesn't want to marry or have kids at all. It's just her choice.

(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been on-and-off with my current boyfriend for years now. We love each other, and are great together, but the issue is (typically) commitment.

He made it pretty clear from the start that he has no interest in marriage or kids and probably never will. I used to feel this way when I was younger, so I guess I was hoping he'd change his mind.

My aim is to (eventually) get married and have kids so by staying with him, I feel like I'm missing out on other opportunities. It also feels like he is keeping his options open to see if a better girl comes along. Why else would you not want to get married?

What do you think?

If he made it clear so you shouldn't expect him to change his mind. The best solution is to end this relationship, as you both clearly have different aims.
But first, you should definitely talk with him about it.