Through The Wormhole, Literally

If the Voyager 1 space probe was picked up by extraterrestrials, what would happen? Here's your opportunity to find out. Voyager 1 was launched in 1977 to study interstellar space. It carried a gold-plated audio-visual disc in the event that it might be found by intelligent life-forms from other planetary systems. It was picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from a planet called Morys Minor... More

The Voyager 1 space probe was launched by NASA on September 5, 1977, to study the outer solar system and, ultimately, interstellar space. It carried a gold-plated audio-visual disc in the event that it might be found by intelligent life-forms from other planetary systems. The record contained photos of the Earth and its life-forms, spoken greetings from people including the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter, and a medley of sounds from Earth, including whales, a baby crying, waves breaking on a shore and music, including works by Mozart and Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode”. It was discovered by goopmutt bandits who towed it through interstellar space at superluminal speed. In an effort to conceal their crime, they manipulated the data on the craft’s digital tape recorder and left it in the heliosphere where its signal could still be picked up from Earth. Eventually, they abandoned the probe in the Centaurus galaxy where it was picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from a small circumbinary planet known as Morys Minor. The discovery of the golden record attached to the Voyager probe raised expectations of harmonious relations between inhabitants of the two planets, so one of the spacecombers who discovered it, smolin9, was dispatched by wormhole to Earth to investigate the planet and determine its suitability for colonisation. However, following extensive study, the Mortians decided the planet exceeded volatility thresholds and deemed it unsuitable. During smolin9's brief sojourn on Earth, he met life coach, Melinda Hill of Camden in London. The book charts the events arising from this encounter.

David Winship has written an unauthorised autobiography and several critically disdained literary tomes. His work is frequently compared with Steinbeck, Orwell and Hemingway, but unfortunately Mike Steinbeck, Daisy Orwell and Howard Hemingway were all terrible writers. He has been totally overlooked for the most prestigious literary awards worldwide, which is a shame as most of the words are spelled correctly. In fact, his books contain material that ranks with the finest literary works in history: all the right letters are there, just not necessarily in the right order.

His blog (The Speed Of Dark Blog) is part of his crusade for truth and justice and universal entitlement to free real ale. It may well be that his whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

He is currently working on a series of short stories about two extraterrestrials who find the Voyager 1 space probe floating around in outer space. His next book will be the ultimate key to the map of life, a jewelled window to the soul of mankind, an illuminating journey through the complexities and mysteries of the human condition. In the meantime, we will have to make do with these tales about wacky space aliens.

The Voyager 1 space probe was launched by NASA on September 5, 1977, to study the outer solar system and, ultimately, interstellar space. It carried a gold-plated audio-visual disc in the event that it might be found by intelligent life-forms from other planetary systems. The disc carried photos of the Earth and its life-forms, spoken greetings from people including the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter, and a medley of sounds from Earth, including whales, a baby crying, waves breaking on a shore and music, including works by Mozart and Chuck Berry's "Johnny B. Goode". It got picked up by two itinerant spacecombers from Morys Minor. The books in this series describe the ensuing story.