A stand-up comedian walks out onto the set to warm up the studio audience, tells a few jokes and then sits down. Producers scramble across the stage while the camera crew readies their equipment. Lights go on and off as the control room tests the lighting. The host, a tall, thin man with remarkable hair, stands in the darkness, sorting his index cards. A director counts down until taping, " 3...2...1.... quiet on set!"

The host walks out of the shadows. Mississippi Go. Phil Bryant steps into a spotlight and begins to speak.

The studio audience chants in unison, "WHO WANTS TO BE A U.S. SENATOR?!"

The governor continues, "That's right. It's the once-in-a-lifetime game show that picks Mississippi's next U.S. senator to replace Senator Thad Cochran."

The far-right section of the audience boos loudly when they hear Cochran's name.

"Now now, be civil. Senator Cochran is stepping down on April Fool's Day because of ill health and y'all, that is serious business. I get to send who I want to Washington "The Swamp" D.C. But let me say this, I will not be picking myself. I know, I know — You can pick your senator. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your senator's nose — and I won't be picking myself to be to senator either. I'd rather be headed to Copiah County than Washington D.C. Soon I'll be host of the Phil Bryant radio show on a radio station near you."

The studio audience claps with approval.

"Now let's begin with our first contestant. He's a lawyer and state senator from the great city of Ellisville. His favorite saying is "Remember Mississippi!" and now has it tattoed on his back. Yes, you know who he is. He's the man who thinks it isn't over even when it — Chris "The Possum" McDaniel!"

McDaniel jogs out onto the stage, a small possum jogs right behind him. The far-right section of the studio audience cheers and begins to chant, "POSSUM! POSSUM! POSSUM!" A small marsupial climbs up onto McDaniel's shoulder and makes an obscene gesture to the middle and left sections of the studio audience.

"Our next contestant is the lieutenant governor of the great state of Mississippi. He was once State Treasurer and the fear of every Millsaps basketball opponent. From Florence, Mississippi, It's Tate "Tater" Reeves!

Marshall Ramsey(Photo: Clarion Ledger,)

No one claps. Reeves shoots a glare at the audience and a handful of state senators start nervously clapping.

"Up next is the man who puts "man" in "manscaping." He's the man with thick-eyebrows and conservative credentials — it's Michael "I'm not as scary to the establishment as Chris is" Watson."

State Senator Watson comes out, waves at the far-right section and blows them a kiss.

The Rose(Photo: Marshall Ramsey)

Our final contestant is the former 3rd district Congressman, a man who walked away from Washington and..."

A ruckus off stage occurs as chairs are being knocked over. A muffled voice yells, "I don't want to go back! I wasn't kidding when I wanted to spend more time with my family."

The governor looks through his cue cards and mumbles, "I guess Gregg Harper is out. Is Delbert available?"

A producer shakes his head no.

The Governor continues, "And our final contestant is a man who already is a U.S. Senator. We're just putting him in here to mess with his head. Roger "Dodger" Wicker!"