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Monday, 13 October 2014

Your Lover Shouts Your Pen Name in Bed

The situation: at the crucial moment, your lover opens his or her mouth and it’s not your name that comes out, but your pen name.

You feel: confusion; surprise; mixture of delight and concern.

Congratulations! If your lover shouts your pen name in bed then it means that he or she has recognised that you are a totally splendid hotshot author. Treat the first occurrence of this with pride.

However, it is important to keep your personal life and your author identity separate. Your author persona has to be self-assured, self-promoting and self-important (beneath the modest exterior). Your real persona needs to be human.

In your relationship, you and your partner need to be equal. You want your lover to date you, not your career. Let the first author-name-exclamation go by unremarked, but if your beloved continues to do it, suggest restricting the behaviour to special occasions.

This presumes that your partner doesn’t also have a totally splendid hotshot career. If he or she does and you might reply, “Oh Professor Stephen Prodnasal, PhD!” then referring to each other by your professional titles is not weird at all.