I was very pleased to get the opportunity to interview Helen about her book and what follows is a slightly edited transcript of our conversation.

The standard liberal feminist response to a book like this is that men have every advantage over women and I know you don’t agree. Tell women why men don’t have every advantage and why they certainly don’t feel like they have every advantage.

Well, if you’ve ever read Warren Farrell’s book, The Myth of Male Power, it talks about some of the issues that men have faced over the years. Men go to war, men tend to make up more of a homeless population. We always think of men at the top, but actually that’s not really true. Men are at the top and they’re at the bottom and the thing is, a lot of times women tend to be in the middle.

But what happens is women look up and they say, “Oh, a few men are at the top.” Well, like Scott Adams wrote in the Dilbert cartoons, “Those are other men.” The average man himself is looking around and saying, “You know what? I don’t have such a good deal anymore.” And we don’t know that they ever really did.

Believe it or not, 100 years ago or more, if their wife did something, they would actually be held accountable and put in jail. So a lot of times what we think is a horrible injustice against women is actually also an injustice against men because if men didn’t keep a woman in line, the government or the establishment would put them in jail for something that a woman did.

But we always look at things in terms only through the lens of what do women need and what do women want and we don’t turn it around and say, what’s the right thing for men?

If a man came to you and he said, “Listen, I think marriage is great. There’s no downside to it.” What would you say to him? Not telling him not to do it, but maybe saying, “Have you thought about the other side of this?” What are some of the negatives for men in marriage that are making men less likely to marry?

Well, the first negatives are the legal ones. If man does get divorced, he’s much more likely to pay alimony. For example, about 97 percent of alimony is paid by men, only about 3 percent by women. Men tend to lose with their children more often. Only about 10 percent of men get custody of their children if there’s a divorce. In marriage, …if a man finds out a couple of years down the line that the child isn’t his, the state, in certain states — not most states — a man can be forced to pay for that child even though that child is not his. At the same time, if he wants a vasectomy — now this one is hard because it’s actually not on the books — but if a married man goes to a doctor and wants a vasectomy, most doctors in this country will not perform a vasectomy unless that man gets his wife to sign off.

…If he wants to leave the marriage, a woman can just point her finger and tell her lawyer that a man committed child abuse, domestic abuse — and a lot of times it’s just taken as a given. If a woman wants a restraining order against a man in a marriage, men most often are taken to jail when, you know, the woman calls the police. However, studies actually show that violence in domestic relations is almost 50% from men and 50% from women. If a woman gets angry for any reason, she can simply accuse a man and men are just assumed guilty in our society.

The other thing is psychological reasons. Men’s self-esteem suffers more than women when they don’t see their friends as often and that’s because women tend to congregate a little more. When men lose contact with those friends, their mental and, you know, their psychological health can suffer from that. Men are also generally given the worst part of the house once kids come along. The man is kind of put downstairs to the basement, whether he wants to be there or not. Now sure, a lot of men might enjoy the basement, but they shouldn’t be forced down there.

In my work over the years, I’ve actually seen men who hang around outside or they’ll say, “I don’t mind being outside in the garage,” but the minute they get a divorce they’re right back in that house and wanting the full use of it.

So, I do think that there are a lot of issues that men want to consider when they think about marriage because in our society if you make a mistake and if you’re a man, there’s a lot more at stake. If you’re a woman and you make a mistake, yes, it can be bad, but the state is with you. You probably are going to get your children; you probably are going to get some child support; it’s more than likely you’re not going to be kicked out of your house. There’s even more support for you. There are a lot of organizations to help women; there are almost none to help men.

One of the biggest issues, because it impacts people throughout their whole life is that women have surpassed men in college. There are more women graduating then men — and that’s an every year thing. This is huge because we have such a highly educated workforce. If you don’t get that college degree, it can literally put you behind for your entire life. Why do you think men are falling behind at college?

Well, there are a number of reasons and one of them is proposed by Christina Hoff Sommer, who wrote The War Against Boys. And what she says is that a lot of these colleges have become very woman-oriented and a lot of the classes that we have are more oriented towards women.

In a lot of the schools, I think boys actually lose out earlier. We don’t teach boys to like school, to want to be in school. …and the other thing is that they make worse grades. There was a study at the London School of Economics and they found that boys actually get worse grades if they’re taught by females and since only 15 percent of elementary school teachers are men, most of the teachers boys have during the day are women. Those women tend to describe boys’ behavior as much worse than they would the girls. They also tend to give those boys lower marks. I’m talking in generalities, but a lot of times boys don’t emphasize the same types of things. For example, they’re not as rule-oriented where they do everything they’re told to do. They’re less likely to sit still. They’re more likely to learn a little bit differently and the schools are more oriented towards the way that girls learn and boys are sort of told to sit down, keep quiet, and read Toni Morrison. There are really just very few boys who are that interested in that type of situation, and these high schools are not geared towards boys. There are boys who fall through the cracks, don’t further their education and like you say, it’s a shame because those boys do tend to make less. They tend to end up in jail. They tend to just do worse in life in general and we in our society, we say that those boys aren’t important. I do want to point out that in addition to white boys, you’d think people of the liberal persuasion would at least care about the minority boys, but apparently that’s not even enough to get you any help.

There was a funny phrase you used in the book, dripping with contempt each time you used it — it’s called an Uncle Tim. Tell people what an Uncle Tim is.

Well, an Uncle Tim is just a male sell-out. …They either are guys who just want to get laid and they just go along with whatever women want to say because they figure, “Oh, if this woman thinks I’m a feminist type, she’ll want to have sex with me” — then there’s the other type that benefit because they’re either political or because their job makes it easier to go along with the whole feminist bent. In politics, especially in Democratic politics, it’s just much easier. Remember women make up a majority of Democratic voters. So you have to sort of placate them and so I think that we see a lot of Uncle Tim’s in Democratic politics.

But I don’t think that’s to negate the other side of it, which are the conservatives. I’m talking about white knights. If you actually read the men’s rights blogs, and I’m sure you do, they talk a lot about white knights and a white knight is just simply the more chivalrous type. They approve of things like the Violence Against Women Act because they like to see men as the big bad wolf that women need protecting from. I think they see women more as needing protection and not as being strong and independent.

One of the things I have long believed is that women already had their basic revolution in behavior in the 60s when they’ve got out into the job market and so they’ve had this big change in their behavior. I don’t see that same change in men. To me, men basically seem to look at things the same way they did and think about things the same way they did 50 years ago. So I think there’s a big change coming in society. And so I’m just reading a little passage from your book,

“Men are opting out, bailing out, and going on strike in response to the attack on their gender. A society can’t spend more than 40 years tearing down almost half the population and expect them to respond with, “give me another,” forever.”

So what is the response? Where do you see this going with men? What do you see men doing in response to this? What’s the men’s revolution?

According to Warren Farrell, he talks about the revolution as two parts. There’s an economic one, where men really feel that they’re being held down and at the same time, there’s a psychological one in that men really feel that they’ve lost respect, there isn’t a whole lot there for them and they feel sort of downtrodden. I think as you see that more, I think those are the two issues that are really going to propel men forward to speak up for their own needs.

Because in the past, men have never really spoken up for their own needs. They’ve always worried about the community and what women and children need, but I think that men are starting to put some of their needs first and it’s not a selfish thing. I think I’m looking at it more in terms of political and legal aspects because I don’t see how anyone in the United States of America can say it’s OK to treat one gender worse.

There was a “Dear Colleague” letter that was sent out in 2011 by the Obama Administration telling those colleges that take federal funds that it wants them to lower the standards of evidence to one that says if there is a school that thinks, or if a man is accused of a sexual assault, all it needs to believe is that it is 50+1 percent true. Even a criminal has more rights than a young man on our college campuses today and I don’t see how people can think in the United States of America that it’s OK to have young men’s due process rights destroyed this way or that it’s OK for 50,000 men on any given day to be in jail for child support arrears. I thought we got rid of debtor’s prisons, but apparently it’s alive and well in the feminist state of America.

I’m not against feminism. I think feminism has done some wonderful things for women, but at the same time what feminism has become is special privileges for women and more responsibilities for men. It’s just… it’s unfair. I think people who believe that we can hold one gender down while elevating the other one are going to collapse our society at some point.

All this sad state of affairs is a result of America having forsaken God’s intention for marriage as an honorable covenant between man and woman.

Genesis 1:18
King James Bible
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

The bible is very clear that mutual respect is to be observed in a marriage and that The Lord is to be the head of marriage. America lost it when they decided to ban the bible in school and instead started teaching that moral turpitude of sexual perversion was right! Men have been reduced to zombies trying to be girlish, having their genitals amputated to become transgender demons instead of real masculine father figures and husbands to women! Also, the women have been brainwashed to become macho and think they too can marry a wife! So sick! There are many social and political factors working against marriage in America but the most fundamental was for mere
mortals to denigrate God’s intentions for
Marriage by becoming their own gods and worshipping money and sexual immorality! Wake up, send the demons of divorce back to hell! Tell the leftist marriage wreckers, their macho women and their effeminate half breed men that enough is enough!

I just downloaded your book and read a few pages. I don’t understand what the issue is with the basement/garage? Are we to believe that women are dispatching their husbands to the basement? Most men who do this do it because they don’t like the clamor of family life. They should have thought of that before they formed a family.

I just downloaded your book and read a few pages. I don’t understand what the issue is with the basement/garage? Are we to believe that women are dispatching their husbands to the basement? Most men who do this do it because they don’t like the clamor of family life. They should have thought of that before they formed a family.

There are so many admirable women taking the lead now speaking out strongly against tyranny only a fool would think women are lesser. Remember there are many men who are gutless wonders, spineless liberals, scared and confused miscreants. I am grateful for our bold patriotic American women, thank you ladies, very, very much~!

There are so many admirable women taking the lead now speaking out strongly against tyranny only a fool would think women are lesser. Remember there are many men who are gutless wonders, spineless liberals, scared and confused miscreants. I am grateful for our bold patriotic American women, thank you ladies, very, very much~!

I am really glad someone actually talks about this. I personally could write a book on this, writing is just not my profession nor I have the time, but I can see why men would not want to enter into married. It is just a bad deal for them. Common perception of a divorced father is that it is a bad parent, or at least not as good as the mother. I don’t know why that would be, but if someone tells you over and over the same thing, only a crazy person would continue beating head against the wall. So as long as the society doesn’t recognize it, it will continue that way. Too bad for those who have sons, because it will be them one day who will need to experience discrimination.

I am really glad someone actually talks about this. I personally could write a book on this, writing is just not my profession nor I have the time, but I can see why men would not want to enter into married. It is just a bad deal for them. Common perception of a divorced father is that it is a bad parent, or at least not as good as the mother. I don’t know why that would be, but if someone tells you over and over the same thing, only a crazy person would continue beating head against the wall. So as long as the society doesn’t recognize it, it will continue that way. Too bad for those who have sons, because it will be them one day who will need to experience discrimination.

So basically from a WOMAN’S point of view, there seems to be no negotiating with changes to or with a marriage. BTW, I will read the book written by a woman after I read the book about Breast Cancer surivors written by a man.

So basically from a WOMAN’S point of view, there seems to be no negotiating with changes to or with a marriage. BTW, I will read the book written by a woman after I read the book about Breast Cancer surivors written by a man.

I don’t agree with a many things in this article. I think people believe in marriage & the rate is up. You cannot falsely claim abuse w/o risking jailtime for lying to the court. Health & lifestyle improve, in many ways for those who are married. The benefits outweigh the negatives. Life is harder & lonely, when alone.

I don’t agree with a many things in this article. I think people believe in marriage & the rate is up. You cannot falsely claim abuse w/o risking jailtime for lying to the court. Health & lifestyle improve, in many ways for those who are married. The benefits outweigh the negatives. Life is harder & lonely, when alone.

You can blame the Oprah Winfreys of this world for the pussification of the men in this country. In todays society men are not allowed to be men. Back in the 40s and 50s it was nothing to go to town on a Saturday afternoon ad the women did their shopping while the men were out somewhere playing a ballgame or having wrestling matches. Its time for the Depussification of the men in this country.

You can blame the Oprah Winfreys of this world for the pussification of the men in this country. In todays society men are not allowed to be men. Back in the 40s and 50s it was nothing to go to town on a Saturday afternoon ad the women did their shopping while the men were out somewhere playing a ballgame or having wrestling matches. Its time for the Depussification of the men in this country.

This is a brilliant exposure of the way the world REALLY is, not the way the libs want us to see it – there is no “War on Women” – it’s more the other way around! Women call so many of the shots, and are now protected by so many intrusive laws – a husband has very little recourse to keep his wife in line…so why get married? Let the strong, “liberated” women with their college degrees and their contraceptive pills make their own way in the world.

This is a brilliant exposure of the way the world REALLY is, not the way the libs want us to see it – there is no “War on Women” – it’s more the other way around! Women call so many of the shots, and are now protected by so many intrusive laws – a husband has very little recourse to keep his wife in line…so why get married? Let the strong, “liberated” women with their college degrees and their contraceptive pills make their own way in the world.

I am damn tired of men having to apologize for being men. If a man does act masculine he is looked upon as a woman basher. Men are expected to show their feminine side, yet women say they want, and are attracted to, masculinity. I’m damn tired of the MSM bashing males. They make men laughing stocks of society. The “men” in the MSM are even afraid to be men, they are constantly patronizing the women. It is so obvious that it is sickening. I, actually, endorse feminism and women’s liberation. Please, women, liberate yourselves from me and leave me to hell alone! Before I will kiss your fat asses, I will knock you on them! Damn, I despise you damn bitches! May you all burn in hell!

I am damn tired of men having to apologize for being men. If a man does act masculine he is looked upon as a woman basher. Men are expected to show their feminine side, yet women say they want, and are attracted to, masculinity. I’m damn tired of the MSM bashing males. They make men laughing stocks of society. The “men” in the MSM are even afraid to be men, they are constantly patronizing the women. It is so obvious that it is sickening. I, actually, endorse feminism and women’s liberation. Please, women, liberate yourselves from me and leave me to hell alone! Before I will kiss your fat asses, I will knock you on them! Damn, I despise you damn bitches! May you all burn in hell!

I totally agree that men need more rights than they get these days, I want my son to feel like a worthwhile person, not a doormat for every girl who targets him, maybe people will wake up, hopefully soon!

I totally agree that men need more rights than they get these days, I want my son to feel like a worthwhile person, not a doormat for every girl who targets him, maybe people will wake up, hopefully soon!

I think that somewhere between the inception of the feminist movement and today, the definition of gender equality changed form equal treatment to preferential treatment, from equality to prominence. I think this started to happen when the leadership of the feminist movement changed and new leaders started running the show. Today’s feminist movement leaders seem to be comprised of bitter angry women who seem to have an ax to grind with the whole male population of America and the world. They’re teaching women that they don’t have to earn anything anywhere anymore. All they have to do to get ahead is use their gender to their advantage. If a woman wants a promotion and/or a raise, all she has to do is go to the management and demand that it be given to her, no questions asked and nothing required for it. And if management says no, then the woman simply screams “SEXISM!” at the top of her lungs till she gets what she wants.

I think that somewhere between the inception of the feminist movement and today, the definition of gender equality changed form equal treatment to preferential treatment, from equality to prominence. I think this started to happen when the leadership of the feminist movement changed and new leaders started running the show. Today’s feminist movement leaders seem to be comprised of bitter angry women who seem to have an ax to grind with the whole male population of America and the world. They’re teaching women that they don’t have to earn anything anywhere anymore. All they have to do to get ahead is use their gender to their advantage. If a woman wants a promotion and/or a raise, all she has to do is go to the management and demand that it be given to her, no questions asked and nothing required for it. And if management says no, then the woman simply screams “SEXISM!” at the top of her lungs till she gets what she wants.

One day P.C. Will end and then “real”men will once again be the leaders as they were back when. If you are looking for a leader for this country then you might as well stop. Because these girly men that are running things now are just that. Some women are great for certain professional careers (better then men) but to run the biggest (some what) free country in the world , that is not meant to be.Oh we can try and I’m sure we will sooner or later but like I say…. We need a real man with a real backbone and some hair you know where to get this great country back on track. If you know one then tell the country and have him step up.

Boys…do NOT get married. As soon as wife gets mad, you belong to the State. Child support, plus interest to the State. Selling our children into slavery. Not to mention how many children have died and depressed men committing suicide. The suicide rate is now higher than the number of people killed in car wrecks. The new F word is Father.

One day P.C. Will end and then “real”men will once again be the leaders as they were back when. If you are looking for a leader for this country then you might as well stop. Because these girly men that are running things now are just that. Some women are great for certain professional careers (better then men) but to run the biggest (some what) free country in the world , that is not meant to be.Oh we can try and I’m sure we will sooner or later but like I say…. We need a real man with a real backbone and some hair you know where to get this great country back on track. If you know one then tell the country and have him step up.

Hey Helen….way to go…..I get blasted by my girlfriends for NOT being a femenist…and that’s OK….I just am uplifted to read the truth from a woman who seems to get it! Men are so much better off when they are loved and supported by a wise woman who believes in them….women have it made just being female…we have anything we need and want….but we are most valuble at home building healthy self esteem in our children and our spouses! Stop trying to rule the world ladies…..do the job you were created to do….it’s not about just you!

Hey Helen….way to go…..I get blasted by my girlfriends for NOT being a femenist…and that’s OK….I just am uplifted to read the truth from a woman who seems to get it! Men are so much better off when they are loved and supported by a wise woman who believes in them….women have it made just being female…we have anything we need and want….but we are most valuble at home building healthy self esteem in our children and our spouses! Stop trying to rule the world ladies…..do the job you were created to do….it’s not about just you!

I’ve seen a military man nearly lose custody of his children to his documented drug abusing wife because he was military and male. He risked being held in contempt when he questioned the Judge, “You’re telling me an unemployed drug user is in better standing than a Servicemember?”

I’ve seen a military man nearly lose custody of his children to his documented drug abusing wife because he was military and male. He risked being held in contempt when he questioned the Judge, “You’re telling me an unemployed drug user is in better standing than a Servicemember?”

very interesting article…there are so many issues to consider…I love my grandsons, but I feel sorry for them growing up in this environment…I’m all for women being able to succeed in whatever they choose…but we do need to understand that there are basic biological, cultural, and sensory difference between males and females…a delicate balance…hope we can find it!

very interesting article…there are so many issues to consider…I love my grandsons, but I feel sorry for them growing up in this environment…I’m all for women being able to succeed in whatever they choose…but we do need to understand that there are basic biological, cultural, and sensory difference between males and females…a delicate balance…hope we can find it!

Bravo… while I am not an emasculated male or a snag by any means I am delighted a WOMAN understands and wrote this. Men simply have no credibility when speaking anymore. I would rather be single, than put up with abuse or margninalization of any sort. It is so bad these days, most “men” look at me in dismay, disbelief and disadain when I tell them they are quintessentially p-whipped and only pseudo males. They will do ANYTHING foir female acceptance to the point of grovelling – and nearly anything for social acceptance. I find it sick, sad and disgusting.

Bravo… while I am not an emasculated male or a snag by any means I am delighted a WOMAN understands and wrote this. Men simply have no credibility when speaking anymore. I would rather be single, than put up with abuse or margninalization of any sort. It is so bad these days, most “men” look at me in dismay, disbelief and disadain when I tell them they are quintessentially p-whipped and only pseudo males. They will do ANYTHING foir female acceptance to the point of grovelling – and nearly anything for social acceptance. I find it sick, sad and disgusting.

I married in Pennsylvania and moved to Louisiana with my wife 6 months before Katrina hit, while my wife was on vacation up north. The house was wrecked but I refused to quit and as a result my wife abandoned me ( her conditions were, sell the damaged house, quit my job, move north and start from scratch)…..So I filed for divorce, uncontested and signed for by my wife. The judge in the case refused to believe that my wife did not want half of everything (though we were married less than 14 months) and insisted that my wife send her a notarized letter stating such…..so even in cases where a wife abandons her husband under the worst possible conditions (for him) she is still entitled to half of everything he spent his whole life working and saving for…….hence….I will never ever get married again…..Marriage is a racket that heavily favors a woman who wishes to marry and divorce for profit….fortunately that was not my ex but it could easily have been….but for the grace of God…

I married in Pennsylvania and moved to Louisiana with my wife 6 months before Katrina hit, while my wife was on vacation up north. The house was wrecked but I refused to quit and as a result my wife abandoned me ( her conditions were, sell the damaged house, quit my job, move north and start from scratch)…..So I filed for divorce, uncontested and signed for by my wife. The judge in the case refused to believe that my wife did not want half of everything (though we were married less than 14 months) and insisted that my wife send her a notarized letter stating such…..so even in cases where a wife abandons her husband under the worst possible conditions (for him) she is still entitled to half of everything he spent his whole life working and saving for…….hence….I will never ever get married again…..Marriage is a racket that heavily favors a woman who wishes to marry and divorce for profit….fortunately that was not my ex but it could easily have been….but for the grace of God…