The Five Most Unusual Diseases

The human body is an amazing thing. (And not just Marissa Miller's either.) All of them, intrinsically, are finely tuned machines, unique amalgamations of tiny little miracles (or so says My Little Pony).

But sometimes the miracle of life can veer off course. One little pull in the genetic fabric, one accidentally ingested poison, one summer spent with your creepy uncle Ned at his upstate hunting lodge -- that's all it takes for the body to trip over itself and fall headfirst into a spiraling freefall.

And like a little baby bear cub that can't stop staring at itself in a reflecting pond, we are endlessly fascinated by how we work; or, in this case, how we don't.

So put down the cigarette, take your multivitamin, and prepare to be amazed at what happens when the natural order of things goes very awry.

Blue Skin

You really are what you eat! After lacing his own drinking water with elemental silver (because of its supposed curative properties and because he's just fancy like that) this guy developed Argyria, marked most notably by (you'll never guess) blue skin. The best part is how he says he didn't know it was happening because it was "so gradual." If that's true, then how come my boss always notices my stubble even though it's growing so slow? Damn he's observant!

Face Frozen In Smile

Remember when mom used to warn you not to make silly facial expressions because your face could freeze that way? Well I bet she never mentioned anything about schwagy street valium being involved. I guess in terms of having something frozen in place, you could do worse than a smile. Unless you're in prison. Because that could get confusing.

Werewolf Syndrome

You hate to see people suffering from such a horrible disease relegated to such a cliché like ending up in a freak show in some circus somewhere. It just warms your heart to see that they're actually trapeze artists in some circus somewhere. But the greatest tragedy here? The Mann family in Texas who haven't shaved in 18 years in pursuit of the hair record. You're not catching up, Bill. It's time to let the dream die.

The Urge to Eat Everything

This guy, Michel Lotito, may make it seem like eating glass is all fun and games, but in fact he suffers from a disease known as Pica, where a person is inexplicably drawn to eating anything and everything. Which is a cool parlor trick for a while, until things begin to escalate and you find yourself, as Lotito did, eating an entire Cessna 150. Luckily the passengers had already deboarded.

Turning Into a Tree

You know how it goes: One day you fall off your bike and scrape your knee, the next you're growing roots and birds are nesting in your feet. This guy should be doing commercials for Neosporin, or that spray stuff dad used to put on your cuts right before calling you a pussy for crying because it burned. Right after that, this guy could come walking in and be like, "Listen to him, kid. You don't want to end up like me, do you?" and give the kid something to really cry about.

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