Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Trump Takes Questions

Donald Trump Takes Questions From A Panel Of Reporters And Special Interest Group Heads:

Katie Couric, moderator: “Thank you panel and thank you Mr.
Trump for being here this evening. Wolf, start us off, please.”

Wolf Blitzer: “Mr. Trump, what, specifically, will you do to
enhance America’s military preparedness?”

Trump: “Well, I’m going to make it great again! I love the military! I’m telling you, it’s going to be
so big and prepared you won’t believe it!”

Diane Sawyer: “Mr. Trump, how will you counter the claims of
some that you don’t respect women?”

Trump: “Diane, and by-the-way you look ravishing tonight, I do respect women! I respect the hell out
of them! Not only do I respect them, I love them. L-O-V-E! Ask my wife and
daughter, they will tell you, I’m telling you!”

Shepard Smith: “Mr. Trump, what about the country’s
infrastructure…the roads and bridges? What will you do to repair them?”

Trump: “I love roads and bridges, I am telling you! After
I’m elected president there will be soooo
many roads you won’t even believe it! Good roads…and bridges, we’ll have
bridges like never before, so many bridges! And they’ll be in great shape! I am
a builder…it’s what I do…and a fixer! I will build and fix roads and bridges
all day long…until the cows come home, I’m telling you! You won’t believe it!
And I’ll get the Germans to pay for it! I mean, after all, the Marshall
Plan…they owe us!”

Daniel M. Ashe, director of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife
Service (USFWS): “Mr. Trump, how will you- or will you- protect our waters, inland and coastal, from degradation
and encroachment? And will you protect our rights to fish and hunt?”

Trump: “I love to fish! Always have! I am such a big hunter…snipe and everything
else! There will be so much
non-degradation and non-encroachment going on when I’m president, you won’t
even believe it! I will increase the populations of sportfish, you know…the
good ones…so much it’ll be yuuge, I’m telling you this! Fish will literally be
jumping out of the water, they’ll be so many of them when I’m in office! I
mean, not the dangerous Asian carp fishes that already do that now, because I’m
going to deport them…and all the other invasive species! We will have desirable fish all over the place, this I can tell you!”

Brian Williams: “Mr. Trump, I well remember when I was an
astronaut in the Apollo program. Those were heady days, yet we haven’t been
back to the moon. As president, would you consider a mission to the moon, and
how do you feel about space exploration in general?”

Trump: “Brian, not only will we go to the moon during my presidency, we will build a tower there!
The Trump Lunar Tower or some such! And I’ll see that roads and bridges are
built on the moon, good ones like you can’t believe! To the moon, Brian…to the
moon! But that’s just for starters! We will be so great at space exploration! I
will send missions to all the
planets…and other galaxies. Andromeda, here we come! It will be like nothing
anyone’s ever seen, I can tell you this!”

Terry O’Neill, President of the National Organization for
Women (NOW): “Mr. Trump, how do you reply to those who say you have small
hands?”

Trump: “My hands can hold their own with any man’s, I
promise you! They are sooo not small, you can’t believe it! You know who I
heard has small hands? Ted Cruz…Ted has small hands! And Hillary, Hillary
Clinton’s hands are terribly small…it’s unbelievable!”

Christiane Amanpour: “Mr. Trump, how do you plan to do all
this without exploding an already staggering national debt?”

Trump: “Well, first, the economy will be so great you won’t
believe it, so that will bring in more revenue…I mean, everyone will have a job! Second, I plan to have China and Saudi
Arabia pay off some of it, that will be yuuuge! I mean, the Arabs have money,
right? Look at Dubai? And the Saudi princes are always coming over here and
going to LA and Vegas, buying hookers left and right and the most expensive
cigars and booze! They trash their hotel rooms and light their stogies with
bills and we still buy their oil! And, 9/11, the Gulf War…they owe us a favor
or two, too! And China, I mean all the stuff of theirs we’ve bought all these
years…what about that? They’re nothing
without us! Reciprocity is what it’s called. Reciprocity!”

Anderson Cooper: “Mr. Trump, many in the GLBTQ community are
concerned about how they’d be treated under a Trump administration. What do you
have to say about that concern?”

Trump: “My views have evolved a bit. I can tell you I love
gays today! Gays and lesbians, bisexuals, you name it, I love them! I tell you, they will be dancing in the streets during
my presidency, it will be so great for them! And pride? You’ll never before have seen such pride! And transgenders?
You think there are lots of genders now? You won’t believe how many genders
there will be! I promise you there will be hundreds and hundreds of genders!
Genders as far as the eye can see, I’m telling you! It will be so great, you
won’t even believe it!”

Bret Baier: “Mr. Trump, you must know that a great many
people consider your actions and statements to be anything but presidential.
Many, in fact, view them as embarrassing. If you actually become the Republican
nominee…or President of the United States… will you modify your behavior? Are
you even capable of acting presidential?”

Trump: “That is a great question, Bret! When I am
Commander-in-Chief, I will be so presidential, youwon’t even believe it!
I will be more presidential than any president we’ve ever had, this I can
promise you! I will be a friggin’ Statesman, Bret, Capisce?! Statesman and
President like you won’t even believe!”

Katie Couric: “Well, that wraps it up for now. Again, thank
you panel and thank you Mr. Trump for being here tonight. And thanks to you in
the audience. Good night.”

Daily Trivia Quiz Answer

Today's Answer: Andrew Jackson. ("Poll" got so worked up before the service he apparently had to be removed from the premises, as he was cussing long and loud).

Q) What words appear on the front of the penny, nickel, dime and quarter, alongside the likeness of presidents?

A) "Liberty" and "In God We Trust"

An Ode To Life

Appreciate all you have, as it- and you- will soon be gone. Leave no heartfelt words unspoken, no sweet gesture incomplete, no act of love undone. Love your spouse with passion and abandon, your kids with patience and understanding but also a firm guidance. Love also the truth, no matter how hard. If pursued by enough people with enough courage, it really will set us free.

And don't forget, we didn't ask to be born. We didn't create ourselves. We are not gods. There is a higher power.

Fireworks of the Mind

Write It Up

Whence Shall Come Another?

True Then, True Now

"If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves."- Winston Churchill

Time Well Wasted

The power lies within your hands To do with what you may But the hourglass is filled with sands Of endless yesterdays