Average Joe, a Death Row inmate on Florida´s Death Row since 1977, describes his life.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Imagine - by Edward James

When you wake up tomorrow morning I want you to imagine that you are in a 6' x 9' concrete cage with one wall overlaid with a set of 1''round steel bars covered by a dimond shaped steel grating. After having slept on a 3'' thick mat laid over a metal bunk that is bolted to one wall.

Now imagine not having to take more than one step to partake of your morning routine because your toilet and sink are only 3' from the edge of your bunk. Then imagine having straddle that toilet to reach the sink so you can wash your face and brush your face.

Imagine only being able to take 4 steps in one direction, from the front of your cage to the back, then 4 more back to the front. Where if you want you can look out a window. Only in order to do that you must gaze past two sets of bars and that dimond shaped grate to see a brick wall through a grimy plate of glass.

Imagine having no control over the meals you will eat this day. Somebody else will decide what you shall eat, when you will get it and whether it will be hot or cold. Then when it does come it arrives on a crusty slotted tray. Which you have to hold it on your lap or place it on the sink above your toilet, or simply hold it braced against the bars at the front of your cage. Because there are no table or chairs as any other human might have to use.

Imagine having no privacy, where people who don´t care about you at all can come in and go through your belongings anytime they want and there is nothing you can do about it.

Imagine on the few occasions that may get out of your cage you are first forced to strip naked and bend over and spread your cheeks so someone can look you over for contraband.

Imagine getting sick and only being able to get generic Tylenol and cheap coughdrops, nobody is going to bring you hot soup and tea, or put cold compresses on your fevered brow.

Imagine being in the environment and only being giving 1 pair of pants, 1 shirt - both bright orange, 4 t-shirts, 4 pairs of boxers, 4 socks, 1 pair of cheap camvasse shoes, 1 toothbrush, (1 tube of toothpaste, 1 bar of soap (every two weeks)), 1 towel, 1 washrag, a 3''thick mattress, a pillow if your lucky, two sheets, a pillow case, a thin army blanket and a jacket (light weight). Also, to your amazement, a 12''b/w tv and the opportunity to mail one letter a month.

Now you will be allowed some minor luxuries, but you will have to buy them out the prison canteen once a week. But wait a second, where you will get the money for that ? You aren´t allowed to work or operate a business in any way. So you will have to, if you want to have any kind of luxuries like coffee, tea, a coffee cup, shampoo and deodorant, or if you would like to write a letter more than once a month, depend on family or friends to help support you.

And imagine that is only the small stuff you have to deal with ?

Imagine never being able to walk on grass again or to stroll barefoot along the beach. Imagine never again to be able to look up at night and see the moon or the stars. Or to experience the sun rising to a chorus of song birds, or to sit with a loved one and gaze at the setting sun.

Imagine never again hearing the laughter and joy of a child on X-mas morning. Or to simply get up and go for a stroll when you get the urge.

Imagine never again to be able to dance with your sweetheart, to be able to look into their eyes and tell how much you love them, except for the weekly visits.

Imagine never again being able to make love.

Imagine not being able to get up and go to the fridge when you want an ice cold drink on a hot day or maybe a snack or sandwich.

Imagine not being able to leave the room when those around you are making so much noise they are driving you crazy.

Now imagine having to deal with all this and more every day knowing that the government is doing everything in its power to murder you. So I guess with all that considered, one could still say we here on Death Row have it easy.

Oh, one more thing, imagine that you were wrongly convicted and are truly innocent.

5 Comments:

Mr Average Joe - you're far from Average:)- your postings make me weep, and smile. Thank you for doing that, thank you for keeping strong, and thank you for sharing your deepest feelings. And thanks to Britta for being usual wonderful self and giving me the chance to see your words. Many thanks, Britta and Joe. God bless and protect you.

I'm sorry for being intrusive in to your blog. But I am Melissa and I am a mother of two that is just trying to get out of an incredible financial debt. See my hubby is away in Iraq trying to protect this great country that we live in, and I am at home with our two kids telling bill collectors please be patiant. When my husband returns from war we will beable to catch up on our payments. We have already had are 2001 Ford repossessed from the bank, and are now down to a 83 buick that is rusted from front to back and the heater don't work, and tire tax is due in November.

I'm not asking for your pitty because we got our ownselfs into this mess but we would love you and thank you in our prayers if you would just keep this link on your blog for others to view.