Friday, June 5, 2015

1. "You see that boy in white over there? Okay now, turn around and walk away."2. "It's Physic class. Come on, don't sleep. Focus!"3. "You feel that pain on your knees? Ask your mom to bring you to the hospital. And be strong. Whatever the doctors tell you after this, do not cry."4. "No. Don't text the number."5. "Stop being stressed over your studies. Your school days need to be experienced with joys and happiness. Be happy so that you wont need panadol every time you get stressed over something."6. "Be good. Don't have crush on anyone."7. "Your life will be better and better. So be strong and don't ever give up with the little hardships you now face."8. "Let them talk. You owe them nothing."9. "You're a smart girl. Show them."10. "Don't ever feel lonely. Have faith that someday, you will meet some new wonderful people that bring light into your life. I promise."

I didn’t know what I was thinking because
suddenly, I was standing outside of Kendall’s apartment with That November, the
Rain Falls in my hand. I took a deep breath. I had to do this. One way or the
other, I still had to do this. And I had to do this tonight. The longer I
waited the crazier I became.

I
knocked on his door. I waited for a few seconds but there were no answers.
Wasn’t he home? Why wasn’t he at home? I looked down at the book cover. Maybe I
should just leave the book here and came back again whenever I could. So I put
it on the map outside the door. I made my way back to the elevator. But when
the doors open, all I saw was a man and a lady, kissing. I stepped back without
even realizing it. My heart felt like it was ripped apart from my body.

Kendall
saw me between the rough kisses and he quickly pulled away. “Katelyn?”

I
didn’t want to stay here any longer. So I ran to the door that led to the fire
escape and I ran down the stairs as fast as I can. I could hear him calling my
name but I didn’t want to turn around. I realized that we decided to stay away
from each other but did he need to move on this fast, while I was still trying
so hard to accept everything as the way there were?

I
wiped my tears as I entered my car. I didn’t know where to go except for a
place in Brooklyn that used to be my favourite spot with Dylan. We used to go
there every time we needed space and when we wanted to be alone, away from
other people. I got out of the car as I pulled my coat. It was freezing but I
didn’t care. I walked to the side of an old building. When I arrived at that
one special spot, I sat down and I cried.

Why
did I need to cry? He didn’t cheat on me. In fact, we didn’t have any special
relationships. We were just friends. At least, we used to be friends until I
ruined it myself. I didn’t know how long I sat there staring at the stars. I
just didn’t feel like going home. If I needed to stay here for the rest of my
life, I could.

“If
you intend to sit here for the rest of the night, maybe you need some coffee.”

A
voice shocked me. I turned to my side and I saw Kendall standing there with a
cup of coffee in his right hand, and a book in his left hand. Did he bring the book?

He
walked to me and sat beside me without asking my permission first. He handed me
the coffee cup. I took it because honestly, that was the only thing I could
have right now. In fact, I was almost frozen to death.

“How’d
you know I was here?” I asked before taking a sip of the coffee. It was
relieving.

“I
told Dylan about this place. And he told you,” he said.

I
closed my eyes. Why did everything have to be related to this guy? Why did
everything have to be so clear now?

He
sat against the wall as he flipped the first page of the book. “You know?”

“Mrs.
Rivers told me,” I answered honestly.

He
nodded. “I figured.”

“When
were you planning on telling me about it?”

“I
didn’t think there was anything to tell.”

“So
that’s it? You don’t want me to know?”

“It
wouldn’t make any difference.”

I
stared at the stars again. It was so easy for him to say it but it wasn’t that
easy for me.

“But
if you want to know, you can ask me right now. Anything. I promise I’ll tell
you everything,” he said calmly.

A
few seconds passed by before I could even ask my first question. “Why did you
give me the book?”

“You
wanted it.”

“I
wanted to borrow, not own it.”

“Doesn’t
matter. I wanted to give it to you.”

Silence
took place once again for a few seconds. “When did you realize that you had
feelings for me?”

“When
we first met.”

I
turned to look at him. At the same time, he was staring at me.

“When
you walked into the living room, I thought, “Who’s this girl? She has cute
ponytail, a Hello Kitty bag and red sneakers. She looks so pretty.’ But when
you said that you were Dylan’s girlfriend, I stopped.”

There
was a little smile appeared on my lips. I didn’t know why.

“That’s
why when you said you wanted to borrow the book I just gave it to you even
though I hadn’t read it myself.” He smiled at me.

“Why
didn’t you tell me?”

“Because
you were my best friend’s girlfriend. Even if I could, I still wouldn’t tell
you,” he admitted.

I
looked down.

“When
the accident happened and I knew that he was gone, I still couldn’t tell you. I
didn’t want things to change between us. I still wanted to be your boyfriend’s
best friend and I knew you couldn’t face me because I would remind you of him.
So I stayed away. I went to Australia to further my studies but the real reason
why I went was you.”

I
didn’t know any of this. He kept this secret from me for years. But when he did
come clear, I pushed him away. Was that fair?

“But
when I got back, I saw you at the coffee shop and I knew things were going to
change. I tried my best to hide my feelings but then I realized I just
couldn’t. I can’t anymore.”

“I
didn’t know. I’m sorry.” I sobbed.

He
took my hand and held it so tight. “I won’t hide it anymore if you promise to
be true to yourself and accept what we have right now.”

“But
I just caught you kissing other girl,” I said.

He
chuckled. “Well, like you said, it was just a stupid kiss.”

I
narrowed my eyes.

He
smiled. “I was just trying to forget you. So don’t blame me if that was the
only way I could think of.”

“So
you guys didn’t do anything except kissing that looked more like swallowing
each other?”

He
laughed. “No. I told her to go. And then I saw this at my door. That’s when I
realized I still have a chance.” His fingers touched my cheeks. I close my
eyes, feeling his touch, lost in the feelings that had been gone for so long.
When I opened my eyes, his lips were just inches from mine.

And
we kissed.

“WHY are we here?” I asked as I stepped
into Kendall’s ‘safe heaven’.

“I
have something to show you.” He walked to a closet. He opened the doors and
took out a painting. If I was not mistaken, that was the painting he hid from
me the other day. He showed me the painting and I was startled. So surprised
that I couldn’t even speak a word.

“Is
that me?” I asked after a few seconds.

He
took my hand and guided me to a couch. We sat down together. My eyes were still
glued to the painting. It was so beautiful. The way he painted it looked so
real like I was staring at a mirror.

“When
did you paint this?” I asked.

“Right
after I saw you at the coffee shop,” he said.

I
looked at him. I was so touched. Everything he’d done for me just made me fall
in love with him even more. “Can I keep this?”

He
nodded and smiled. “I made it for you.”

“But
you hid it from me the other day.”

“Because
I was afraid that you might get mad at me.”

I
chuckled. “Thanks.”

“For
what?” His fingers ran through my hair.

“For
everything. From the moment we met, until now.” I gave him a sincere smile. He
was always there, always there in front of me all this time but it took me this
long to realize that. I guess that was why people always said, we would never
know what we had until we lost it.

He
kissed me on the lips. It was just a light kiss but I couldn’t be happier. “I’m
not asking you to forget Dylan totally, because I know he meant the world to
you. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance, even a little chance for me
to be in your life.”

This
time I was the one who kissed him. “I’m willing to give it to you.”

“Are
you sure?” he asked again.

“On
one condition.”

“What
is it?”

“You
have to finish reading the book tonight.”

He
laughed.

“I
mean it.”

“Well
then, I guess I’m gonna need a lot of coffee.”

“Don’t
worry, I can make it for you.”

He
kissed me again as a reply.

I
smiled. I was happy. Because I knew, I had someone who would always be there
for me, and someone who could drink coffee with me for the rest of my life.

END

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side note: you can read this story on Wattpad (mobile apps) Thank you. :)