It’s really real….

So hubby and I went to have an ultrasound yesterday. Well, I did. He just watched! Miracle of all miracles, there it was. Our baby on the screen. At least that’s what the tech said it was. I just saw a fuzzy blob…. with a blinking spot that she said was the heart. It was the most beautiful gray blinking blob I ever did see. Everything measured right on target and heartrate was perfectly within range.

I always imagined this would be some dramaticly emotional moment for us, but it wasn’t. We just kept our eyes glued to the screen. Not sure what hubby was thinking, but I was a swirl of all sorts of emotions: disbelief, belief, joy, amazement, wonder, happiness, worry, anxiety, all rolled into a plastered grin. We are happy to report one healthily devoloping embryo. We are finally, finally, opening the next chapter in our happily ever after…

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Published by theamericandream

Here I am. Just a silly country girl who thought she knew it all. Got married when I was 21 to my high school sweetheart. Was living the "american dream" until about a year or so ago when everything just started unraveling. From the outside looking in, we are perfect. We have a beautiful home in the country, our wonderful family lives as close as next door and as far away as 7 miles. Our family is very close. We have strict morals and values that are indisputable. Our families are very involved in the church and the community. We drive nice vehicles and have good jobs. In fact, my husband owns his own company. But, nobody knows. Nobody knows the pain of not being able to conceive our long-awaited first child. Nobody knows the pain of going to fertility specialists and getting tests and tests and tests and not getting answers. Nobody knows the grief of never getting two pink lines at the end of the month. Nobody understands the need to distract that pain with "things" and food and working. Nobody knows the consequences of covering our pain and the mountains of debt and debilitating physical health we've incurred. Nobody knows.
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