In the military, a mission is a smaller subset of a larger overall purpose. While the purpose in Iraq may have been to overthrow Saddam, defeat the Iraqi army, and rid individual areas of insurgents so that a democratic government could be instituted and thrive, that plan was carried out via thousands of coordinated missions. So, in the process of finding our next mission, we must be ever mindful of the larger purpose, calling, or vision for our lives, so that we can ensure that each particular mission contributes to that purpose. Don’t get hung up on particular terminology here, just understand the difference between the overarching plan/goal/vision/purpose/mission and the smaller missions that are used to achieve the larger one. For ease of use, I’m going to refer to the overarching plan/goal/vision/mission as one’s “purpose” and the smaller ones as the “mission”. But these aren’t gospel, so feel free to think of them in your own way. [Read more…] about Identifying Your Next Mission, Part I: Bringing Back Physicality

One of the hardest things for military members in the transition to civilian life is a loss of mission. For years, they’ve had a clear purpose in life and, from day to day, were given missions to accomplish where their role was specified and valuable. They often spent days, weeks, and months training for their missions. They knew what they had to do, spent hours training themselves to do it perfectly, then went out with their teams and executed the mission. Sometimes missions changed mid-stream, some turned out to be less than they were expected to be, some were much more, some were accomplished, some were not, some involved tremendous courage and skill, some involved failure and an opportunity to learn, some were great victories, some were tragic. But through it all, the men knew their place and their role, and having a mission gave them a great sense of security and purpose. It gave meaning to their lives. [Read more…] about Your Next Mission

Almost nothing changes a man’s life like becoming a father. Not marriage. Not a new job. Not individual achievements and accomplishments. All of those things impact us and change our lives, but they don’t compare to becoming a father. Until that moment, our lives are centered on pursuing our own interests. But then we meet that little one: that little boy that we’d always dreamed of having or that little girl that instantly melts our heart. In that moment, men walk through a door from which we can never return. Our hearts have been captured, never to be the same again.

As a result, our focus in life changes. Our previous goals and interests suddenly become smaller, less important. Life now becomes about caring for and supporting that child that owns our heart. It’s both beautiful and dangerous. [Read more…] about The Best Fathers

There is but one certainty in life and it’s that we will die. The life that we live on this earth is a story that has a beginning and an end. Absent committing suicide, we have no more control over when the end comes than when the beginning came. There’s an interesting little exchange in The Dark Knight where the Joker taunts a police chief about killing his officers:

My blog post last week was a discussion of how hardship and crisis bring often bring about a better life experience for men. It’s not because men enjoy damage and loss, but because crises force them out of isolation and into relationships out of sheer necessity. They can no longer survive on their own, so they’re forced to connect with others. And they’re almost always happier as a result, despite the hardship.

A few days later, as if on cue, we saw Hurricane Harvey drop over 50 inches of rain, more than 24.5 trillion gallons of water, on Texas and Louisiana. Houston was the most hard-hit area, with over 30 people dead, over 30,000 homes destroyed, and tens of thousands more without power. The images are almost unbelievable. Interstates were covered with water to the point that they had whitecaps. Entire neighborhoods were underwater. A chemical plant exploded. Shelters were packed. Both the breadth and depth of the losses were catastrophic. Still, I expect that many men will experience levels of satisfaction and contentment that they’ve never seen before, for three reasons. [Read more…] about Three Reasons Hurricane Harvey Will Help Men Thrive

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About Me

I’m an attorney, a husband for 20 years, and a father of four. And I’m restless. I’m convinced that there’s more in life for men than we’re getting. I’m ready for more, ready to lead my family on a tremendous journey. Join me.

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