You’ve been told by doctors and political leaders to stay home. Now, America’s most famous curmudgeon is trying to really convince the doubters.

In a 90-second video posted to Twitter by the office of California Gov. Gavin Newsom, comedian Larry David tells Americans that the coronavirus is “a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” to sit on the couch and watch TV.

“I basically want to address the idiots out there, and you know who you are,” David said. “You’re hurting old people like me. Well, not me, I have nothing to do with you, I’ll never see you. But other, let’s say, other old people who might be your relatives, who the hell knows?”

David, the co-creator of the 1990s hit series “Seinfeld,” star of the current HBO show “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and frequent Bernie Sanders on “Saturday Night Live,” said “If you’ve seen my show, nothing good ever happens going out of the house, you know that. It’s just trouble out there. It’s not a good place to be. Stay home and don’t see anyone.”

The only exception? If your toilet backs up.

“If there’s a plumbing emergency, let the plumber in and wipe everything down after he leaves,” David said. “But that’s it.”

“You’re hurting old people like me. Well, not me… I’ll never see you.”

Paul Rogers has covered a wide range of issues for The Mercury News since 1989, including water, oceans, energy, logging, parks, endangered species, toxics and climate change. He also works as managing editor of the Science team at KQED, the PBS and NPR station in San Francisco, and has taught science writing at UC Berkeley and UC Santa Cruz.

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