Deep Breath: You Have Time

About a month ago, I half-vented, half wrote a post about having no idea what I was doing with my life and expressing the endless frustration at people telling me to “just buy a house” instead of renting. It was a brain dump of sorts, but it was a brain dump that many of you guys resonated with. It was so refreshing to read through the comments; some of you were experiencing similar feelings, with others having gone through it, came out of it and regretted nothing. Best of all were the sass queens instructing me to go with my gut feeling, a piece of advice that that can never be underestimated.

After reading through the comments and having enjoyed multiple beautifully written posts of a similar ilk by the babe that is Sophie Milner (www.fashionslave.co.uk), I started thinking about how rushed we are to decide how we’re going to do everything, all before we’ve had a chance to experience – well, much of anything. To give you some background on my situation, I went to uni for four years and I’m now back living with my grandparents, trying to juggle my blog and my job and deciding exactly how everything will balance out going forward. Until May, I won’t have even been back at work for a year, yet I feel an overarching – if not always verbalised – pressure to know. Know when I’m going to do this, how I’m going to do that, where I will be in 5 years and if my credit rating will be as good as my Uber rating (poor joke, that I do know).

At the same time as we’re supposed to be saving for a mortgage and plotting our ascent up the career ladder, we’re also supposed to be fulfilling the role of the reckless traveller, exploring the globe and shagging a lad from Sheffield after a Full Moon Party in Thailand. ‘That’s what your twenties are for!’, we’re told, ‘For being irresponsible and reckless! For enjoying yourself! For having no worries and no commitments!’ Yet in the same breath, we also being told that house prices are only going to keep rising and shouldn’t you open an ISA? And London may be expensive but really, the best job opportunities are there so consider a move now or regret it.

At the same time as coming to terms with my incomprehensible student debt and the never-ending interest trail that will follow me as if I were a giant, post-grad slug, I’m also supposed to be drinking it up and spending like crazy before the REAL WORLD comes and bites me in the ass.

Entertaining a slight tangent, can we just talk about the infamous REAL WORLD that promises to pounce on every young person without prior warning? When are we fully initiated into the ‘real world’? Does it come when we wake up at 5am for the soul-destroying Next sale, purchasing magnolia lampshades and “inspirational” wall quotes we don’t need? Or does it come when we’re hassling BT every weekend for a better deal on our broadband? Or does it simply come when there is somebody around us, young enough to be condescended to? My tax returns, direct debits, rent payments and long-term love/hate relationship with Virgin Media all seem to scream ‘real world’ status, but I’m still waiting for the stamp of approval from somebody who wears a North Face jacket every day.

But fucking deep breath, because there is no rush. As much as we’re told we must be living recklessly whilst planning to have it all, we should be living to our own timelines, and not those forced upon us. Whilst I want to say that I’m so obsessed with building a career that I don’t make enough time to have fun, the reality is that I’m so scared of not building a career, everything else gets pushed aside. I can’t go out and get pissed on a Saturday night, because what if I’m too hungover to shoot on Sunday and I get set back a week? Will I miss opportunities that could lead to progression? Am I putting the brakes on building my future? Everything feels 100 miles per hour, but I, as much as anybody else in the same situation, just need to remember that there is time. And I don’t have a plan. And I probably won’t for a while – if ever. Let’s just hope when I’m finally welcomed into the ‘real world’, it doesn’t come as too much of a shock…

I can so relate to this. People love to force their opinion on you, whether you wanted it or not! I try and remind myself that the only person qualified to decide what path you should take is you, and sometimes it doesn't even feel like a path. Mostly I'm just trying to enjoy the journey – cliché I know, but there's definitely something to be said for enjoying the here and now.

Yes!!! Absolutely love this post, I also feel like there is so much pressure now to have our life sorted out in an instant. I wrote something similar, about how we should stop comparing ourselves to others in terms of our success http://bit.ly/2e6nOju, really loving these kinds of posts at the minute. Just to remind us that we don't need to succumb to the pressure and can make our own choices as and when!

Ah thank you for this post Chloe, I totally relate. I recently bought a house and will have to start paying my mortgage and 134532 other bills very soon! But I feel really stuck in a job that I'm not passionate about /I am bored of… I have looked at new job possibilities but recently it means taking a pay cut or something fixed term. This is hard when you now have the responsibility of paying bills! So I just feel a bit stuck and scared to take a leap of faith…A mortgage ain't all it's cracked up to be, if anything it's just put more pressure on me!Reading this post though, you're right… I HAVE TIME! And I will figure it out or something better will come along hopefully x

I dont have many words to say it, but god, i relate to this post so much. Im still in uni and im already feeling half of this pressure, the constant questions on what im doing with life, where im going to live, where im going to go, isnt it so, exhausting?

Chloe it was SO refreshing reading this post! I have just turned the grand old age of 27 now, which apparently means I should be married with my own house and have my shit together. Which I do not. If these niggling pressures didn't get to me enough, I got up for work the other day, coffee in hand and turned on the TV. On Good Morning Britain they were warning about the dangers of not freezing your eggs before you turn 30 and your egg count goes down. I literally could have been sick all over my lap and hair dryer. What is this!! As much as I wouldn't wish these stresses on any other gal, I'm glad I don't feel like this alone. x

There is no rush! I regret not travelling and having a mortgage always ties me to not being able to just go and see the world! So having a house and being an adult isn't all it is cracked up to be…Oh to be young and free and not nearly 30! xxx

Great post babes! As Charlotte says – there's no rush. I find that when we look for something it becomes harder to get – take your time and enjoy it. The worst thing is regretting putting yourself into a situation that you wasn't prepared for!

I love this post Chloe! Lately I've been feeling so overwhelmed with so many different people telling me what I should have achieved by now. It's so refreshing to see that I am not alone in this! Wish people would just give you some time to make the right decision for you instead of making it for them!

Also, you look SO good in these photos, love the outfit as always! x Laura

This is my life right now. I'm currently interning in London, living out of a suitcase with no income and no plans for what's going to happen. I really am hoping that everything will fall into place soon – it's so scary not knowing what;s going on! I can totally relate, and I have to say you look AMAZING as you always do xxx

Last year I was booking spontaneous trips to Paris, this year I have a baby and "responsibilities" and I still feel as clueless as I did when I was 15 but I'm okay with that. I guess I will always fear the unknown but the unknown is also intrigueing. No one lived happily just by doing exactly what everyone else tells them to do, or what is classed as the right thing.

The you need to be saving but you should also be doing all of the things in your twenties thing makes me fucking crazy. I think everyone is so keen to tell you how to live they forget that you're a different person to them. Gah!