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Author
Topic: " I do care, don't fuck me" (Read 23147 times)

Just thought I would start a more positive thread. I think sex is a natural thing and we all need it at some point or another but I think it has slowed down for me. Has it happened since you were diagnosed? I just know that If i choose to have sex it will be with my eyes wide open. I will protect myself and the person I am having sex with and disclouse my status if asked or before I start a LTR. Just my opinion. I think it's our responsibility to not spread the disease regardless of what the person you are having sex with wants to use protection.

My sex drive has increased since i was diagnosed, but then again I was pretty sick when I was diagnosed.. but now im back to normal (thanks truvada and sustiva my two best friends for now...) I've been hitting the pubs and stuff on the prowl for a bit of fun.. in what ever form that is. I will only disclose if asked, but in saying that I will NEVER put anyone at risk and will always have safe sex. I'm selfish, I'll keep hiv to myself.

I always disclose. I usually find myself playing with poz guys though... a lot of neg guys get squirrelly about playing... and then they start asking questions like "if you blow me, is it safe" and then I start answering with things like "if you don't know what's safe and not safe by now, you should probably consider celibacy"

I do find myself serosorting as a result. I am tired of being the educator and would rather feel like sex isn't something that brings anxiety to my partner... or fear of spreading it to me.

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Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

I'm with puck on this one. I hate having to bring pie charts and bar graphs along with lube and poppers to a hook up. it's cumbersome. Or having to do play by play analysis like I'm the John Madden of fucking or something.

I'm with puck on this one. I hate having to bring pie charts and bar graphs along with lube and poppers to a hook up. it's cumbersome. Or having to do play by play analysis like I'm the John Madden of fucking or something.

What if it was like the John Madden doing the feminine hygiene product commercial on MadTV?

And I'm with puck and Tim on this too. If I lived in a bigger city, I'd probably play with other poz guys only.

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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

Ihavehope,I am right there with you on not spreading it. I am very open about having HIV and it at times has caused me some pretty bad experiences. I learned early on that well I was not going to let that bother me and I don't though at times it does kinda bother me. I will say I have kinda taken a different spin on having sex. I have decided to just not have sex. Now I am not saying that is for everyone and I am still not sure it is for me but I am trying it. My hopes are to some day find someone to share my life with all the ups and downs. Thanks for your post. Appleboy

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If you are walking down the street and your pants drop to your ankles bend over pick them up and keep on walking!My Blog

Hmm.. Being sarcastic about the spread of HIV and talking about cocaine. Hmmm.. then these chicks get mad when they are called out. For those who try to be silly on threads, there is an Off Topic section where you can post jokes and promote your illicit recreations.

Hmm.. Being sarcastic about the spread of HIV and talking about cocaine. Hmmm.. then these chicks get mad when they are called out. For those who try to be silly on threads, there is an Off Topic section where you can post jokes and promote your illicit recreations.

Duly noted.

I have been appropriately shamed and will retreat to where I belong with the other slutty addicts.

But to answer one of the original questions in this thread: yes, it has slowed down for me. Largely of my own doing. There was a slowing down through months of med sickness. There was a slowing down through months of that "I am tainted meat" self-image. There has been a slowing down since then just because I was off the slut circuit long enough to fall out of practice. Nowadays, I am kind of teetering between a desire to grab whatever youthful abandon I may have left in me (I'm just getting older and slowing down some) and the desire to have, well...safe sex. And by that I mean substantial sex. Safe in the arms of a man that loves me and plans to hang around. Sometimes I feel like I can (and should) have both. Sometimes I feel like I don't have enough stamina to chase either. Sometimes I'd just like to grab whichever one presents itself.

I appreciate your honesty and story Skeebo. As you may see some people have criticised my thread by being sarcastic, kinna telling me like "duh" spreading HIV is wrong. But if you look at the other thread "I don't care, Just fuck me" thread you can also see how people refuse to take responsibility for the decisions other people they have sex with make. Koi was angered by a statement a fellow member of this website said that if someone refuses to use protection or is careless then the person infected with HIV should not care to protect the individual. Some people claimed they had enough to deal with than to protect the world and others. But we never stated that they should protect the world but instead themselves and those people they have sex with. I was stunned when i read people said, they refused to take respobility for other's actions. They are totally right about that, BUT if you are sticking your dick or ass in them, then you need to protect them as well. Anyhow, there will be people who won't care because they are jaded or simply bitter. I respect those who are dating other positive people and those who are with negative people. When there is love, many things are possible and comprehensible. The bottom line is to help prevent others from being infected, otherwise we are contributing to a bigger problem. It sounds quite obvious but I keep hearing people participating in dangerous acts and it;s never ok to take advantage of ignorant people.

I think we should be careful of referencing so obviously two other threads that were LOCKED in the past 24 hours or I predict this one will end a similar fate. Let's try and keep this a bit more neutral in that regards. Discussion of the subject is great, but driving another thread with a grudge is a bit childish. The were locked for a reason.

I think we should be careful of referencing so obviously two other threads that were LOCKED in the past 24 hours or I predict this one will end a similar fate. Let's try and keep this a bit more neutral in that regards. Discussion of the subject is great, but driving another thread with a grudge is a bit childish. The were locked for a reason.

But to answer one of the original questions in this thread: yes, it has slowed down for me. Largely of my own doing. There was a slowing down through months of med sickness. There was a slowing down through months of that "I am tainted meat" self-image. There has been a slowing down since then just because I was off the slut circuit long enough to fall out of practice.

I've followed this same path, Thunter.

Just today, as I was on the way to my morning swim, I passed by the black door of my favourite club, Manacle, smoke and the base beat pouring out, damn hot boys/men outside. They were still there after my swim. The urge got to me. I raced home, slipped into something more appropriate and went to a sex club. I did the deed, but it lacked something. It just doesn't work for me these days. No great loss though. I'm not troubled by it.

As for responsibility, I firmly believe that it is wrong for me to knowingly expose someone to my HIV without their consent. I'm less firm in my view as to what to do if after informing them of my status they still don't want to use a condom - my past experience is that I've acted on a case-by-case basis. I can't recall fucking anyone without a condom, but I have let one or two fuck me, and I've used this as my justifcation. I'm not sure it stands up though, and I simply tend to avoid these situations these days.

I don't believe that I must disclose on each occassion, despite the laws where I live. But, if I don't disclose then I should only partake in safer sex.

IHAVE, that sophomoric crack about Thomas ill serves the issue you're concerned about. Consider yourself warned about using that kind of flame-baiting crack.

Overall the discussion in this newer thread has been sidestepping squabbling as people are sharing in a forthright way without attacking anyone. Let's keep it that way.

BAILEY, whether you are really saying what you mean or you're just being sarcastic or tongue-in-cheek is not clear. What IS clear is that your latest comment is just as muddily provocative as what you wrote in the other thread which I had to lock.

I don't want this thread to become just another re-hash of the previous one. Should that happen the result will be locking the thread AND some Time Outs.

I can't believe it's not possible to have a serious discussion here about the issues raised without people attacking each other. Obviously this subject evokes strong feelings. But, if you can't respond respectfully in the conversation then keep your bile to yourself. Really.

Sorry for the deleted posts. I actually thought I participated in a thoughtful and well intended way with my first post. I know it's gone now, but please take my word for it. In my second post I just added the ending part.

My third post however I am ashamed to say that I made reference to how most of Al's 298 post came about. For that I am wrong.

I know it may not be important, but I feel it is... So I once again apologize for the deletions, but only to the forum family.

Al you are the exception to this apology. I have made it known in the forums how both of my parents died within the last 5 years and just how painful it was for me. My mother I nursed for a full year and watched her body ravaged by chemo therapy. I would listen to her fears on death and reassure her that it would not come, it was a word I could not keep to her. I still very vividly recall her last three days in hospice. My father, he died two years ago of lung cancer. A diagnosis he kept to himself and one he did not seek treatment for. He died in the ER without a family member by his side. This followed the loss of my son Cody which sent me into a severe depression. Since you've become a member I have always been supportive in your earlier posts concerning your fears about being newly diagnosed. There is one thing we shared in common and that is we were a mess when we got here. Suggestion for the future, when you have an issue with someone and that issue is unknown to them, send a PM or put them on ignore. I still have trouble understanding where such a comment has come from and can only guess it is a personal issue of your own. Leave my parents out of the equation, deal?

Your story about your parents is tragic as it is touching. I a m so sorry for your loss. But, I really think the whole thing with IVA is a misunderstanding. Please know that he has nothing but , (as I do) utter respect for you and what you have gone through. I think that what happened was that others have decided to hijack this thread to continue their petty disagreement in terms of social responsibility and sexual health, and this has put everyone on edge. I hope it all gets resolved. Again I really feel for what happened to you.

The relationship of public health and sex is, to my mind, like Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, can't live with you, can't live without you, much watched by the public eye, who knows the truth about behind closed doors (and quite a lot of drinking or the equiv.).

Actually they are both dead and lucky for you I have a sense of humor.. What's up with the signature line?

Sorry for the misinterpretation Skeebo/Thomas. I got the quote from the pick up lines in the Off Topic thread. I thought it was funny and posted it in my signature and placed your name because i thought it was written by "thomas". I had no idea who thomas was because I dont know everyone's name here. Anyhow, my apologies to you and i meant no harm towards u.

I have hope.... i do see what you mean now and I do think this was a huge misunderstanding on my part. Andy I think he meant nothing by it honestly. I really think it was an honest mistake. I probably need to stay out of these heated discussions anyways... it's never been my cup of tea.

I will leave it to the members that have heart in the matter so as not to fray from the topic. Not meaning to steal Hal's (dachshund) words, but he said it best.. I'm outta here (meaning this thread).