12 things every man should own

1: An expensive pair of brogues

Drop the Converse, get some conversation starters. They'll go with anything and last you for years.

2: A toy

It could be a fishing rod, Fender Strat or a battered pair of Technics 1210s, but every man has earned the right to hone a skill which has no practical or pecuniary value. It's a protein shake for the soul.

3: A piece of clothing retained for dirty work

A callow youth casts aside frayed jeans or moth-gored jumpers. The mature man knows "it'll do for the garden" and feels no shame.

4: A Swiss watch

Time will always be an invincible foe, but with an IWC watch on your wrist you'll have a worthy Sundance Kid for the shootout. And a modestly stylish Tissot original beats the Cantons off a moody Rolex from Guangdong every time.

5: A picture of your entire family looking happy

Even if you have to bribe them to play nice together.

6: A drill

Comes in two ages: so new you've still got the box; and slightly younger than yourself. The latter will inevitably have been borrowed from your dad and may well have been given a name, such as 'Betsy'.

7: One good bottle of champagne

Partner pregnant, promotion at work, lottery win... you never know when you might need it for an impromptu celebration. Replace next day without fail.

8: A credit card

Few of us like debt, and even fewer of us like debt at 21% APR. However, both are preferable to being left cashless in an emergency or a strange city. The flexible fiend is a necessary evil. Use sparingly and pay off promptly.

9: One original band t-shirt

It must be:
a) From a band you like and actually own the music of
b) Diamante free
c) Even more importantly, completely irony free
d) Never worn on a date.

10: A good fountain pen

Sometimes written communication needs to be a considered experience. We'd wager no one has ever written 'totes' instead of 'totally' with a Montblanc.

11: The Godfather Trilogy DVD

It's not a gangster epic, it's a textbook on how to survive family life. Even the much-derided Part III contains its own profound life lesson: no matter how much you love your daughter, never assume she can stand in for Winona Ryder at the drop of a hat.

12: A lifelong crush

Ah Natassja Kinski... lissome and not infrequently nude during crucial points of our formative years. And as far as we're concerned she's still got it. (Just about.)

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