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Between submitting an entry to the Page Turner contest, doing a challenge entry (my first in weeks), a Clerihew and preparing for NaNoWriMo, I was on a bit of writerly overload and wanted to do something different before all of the NaNo craziness started up. So on Saturday, hubby and I went on a photo expedition. And, well, the limerick tells it from there...

A writer who too much had writ
Tried to clear her head just a bit.
So she drove to a bay
Watched pelicans all day,
Then said penguins she saw--what a twit!

Kid Denver wrote:There was a Prez named Obama,who made big banks go, "Oh Mama!" They said, "We need money." "How much?" said the dumby. "Twelve figures around four commas."

- Henry (I repent)

Oh, Henry! I'm biting my tongue, because this is so funny--but I really, really want to avoid political commentary on my poetry threads. I just find politics and poetry to be strange bedfellows...almost antithetical to each other, yes?

With that in mind, and your promise not to do it again, I'd propose the following minor changes (keeping in mind that people "scan" their own poetry in different ways, as Steven reminded us as few lessons ago).

There once was a Prez named Obama
Who made the big banks go "Oh, mama!"
They said, "We need money"
"How much?" said the dumby
"Twelve figures surrounding four commas."

I added a syllable each to lines 1, 2, and 5--I think they scan better. What say you?

Oh--anyone who can rhyme "Obama" so exquisitely deserves this week's gold star, despite the political commentary.

I had "Once" in my original, but I edited it out; didn't want any political commentary in it. I'll behave. In fact, I entered something for "White" just to stay sane; not that I mind the fun stuff. And, I do not believe it is political... that should be good for two yellow boxes with question marks and a 100th place finish. Thanks for straightening (re-scanning) me out again. I hate it when my scan gets out of whack.
So, I guess I can't do my limerick on Biden? THat went into hidin', when from Alaska came Palin ... Okay, I'll quit. Good night.

glorybee wrote:

Kid Denver wrote:There was a Prez named Obama,who made big banks go, "Oh Mama!" They said, "We need money." "How much?" said the dumby. "Twelve figures around four commas."

- Henry (I repent)

Oh, Henry! I'm biting my tongue, because this is so funny--but I really, really want to avoid political commentary on my poetry threads. I just find politics and poetry to be strange bedfellows...almost antithetical to each other, yes?With that in mind, and your promise not to do it again, I'd propose the following minor changes (keeping in mind that people "scan" their own poetry in different ways, as Steven reminded us as few lessons ago).

There once was a Prez named ObamaWho made the big banks go "Oh, mama!"They said, "We need money""How much?" said the dumby"Twelve figures surrounding four commas."

I added a syllable each to lines 1, 2, and 5--I think they scan better. What say you?

Oh--anyone who can rhyme "Obama" so exquisitely deserves this week's gold star, despite the political commentary.

Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,... Col. 3:23

A writer who too much had writeTried to clear out her head just a bitSo she drove to a bayAnd watched pelicans playThen said penguins she saw--what a twit!

Notice very minor changes in lines 2 and 5.

Ooh! That is better! I knew line 4, especially, didn't fit the stressed / unstressed recommendation well, but I couldn't figure out how to get around that and still use the word "pelican". I like your tweak!

And since you asked...

Here are a few peng...er, I mean pelican photos. (Those with white heads are adults...the brown headed one is still in juvenile feathering.)

Wow! Those are great. My avatar used to be a pelican. Maybe I'll change back. Or maybe I can photoshop a pelican in front of the family.

Steve
nlf.net
________
"When the Round Table is broken every man must follow Galahad or Mordred; middle
things are gone." C.S. Lewis
“The chief purpose of life … is to increase according to our capacity our knowledge of God by all the means we have, and to be moved by it to praise and thanks. To do as we say in the Gloria in Excelsis ... We praise you, we call you holy, we worship you, we proclaim your glory, we thank you for the greatness of your splendor.” J.R.R. Tolkien