Unexpected news arrived at the spacious el Rancho Omawarisan in Friday’s mail. A letter from North Carolina State University brought news that The Omawari-son had been awarded a scholarship that amounts to about half the cost of his yearly college expenses.

There was rejoicing and jocularity following the reading of the letter. A re-reading of the letter, to confirm its contents, followed the rejoicing. The second reading revealed that the University would issue a check to refund an amount equal to what the scholarship would have covered had it been granted before his tuition bill was paid in July.

Yes my friends, if ever there was a parental dream come true, this is it. With the signature of the chair of the scholarship committee, things that were once a hazy dream become reality. Let us review some of the upgrades coming to my life as a result of this windfall.

Milk

Milk for my cereal! (Image by israelavila via Flickr)

Cold, delicious milk. Milk to put on my Cap’n Crunch in the morning. Milk to drink with dinner.

Cow juice will be making a return to a refrigerator very near me. Chilly glasses of cold calcium to support the health of my aging bones. Like the lady in the commercial says, something my body needs anyway, and I like that.

Laundry Detergent

I’ve been beating my clothes against a rock in a creek to get them clean. This has become increasingly difficult. With the recent dry spell in my neighborhood the water level in the creek is down quite a bit.

I’ve always been a little nervous with cleaning my clothes in the creek since it isn’t so much a babbling mountain brook as it is a drainage collector for the adjoining business parks and a tranquil bathing spot for flocks of Canada Geese. The rocks have been especially harsh on my favorite shirts.

No more rocks, no more goose poop. Detergent and the washing machine regain relevance in my life.

Fruits And Vegetables

Fruit! Yes! (Image via Wikipedia)

Fruit, oh my God, fruit!! Peaches are still in season and I can buy fruit again! Since most of you have never met me, here is a clue of how you can recognize me if we cross paths in the next few weeks. If you see a guy with peach juice running off his chin, that is me.

Peas, sweet potatoes, corn, green beans and broccoli, get your vitamin and mineral laden goodness ready. I am going to eat you like I am a starving man, which I am. Bananas, navel oranges and pineapples, get in my belly!

Gasoline

I’ve still been buying gas. I live in a place where a car is a necessity.

I thought about getting a moped, but I didn’t want to intrude on the vehicular territory of fourteen year olds and drunk drivers. I also found that I really couldn’t balance more than one basket of wet laundry on a moped and be certain that the brakes would stop me at the bottom of my driveway.

To save money I have been putting my car in neutral and coasting down hills. While I have fun with the roller coaster feel of letting gravity gradually accelerate my car, the people behind me have not enjoyed it as much.

Postage Stamps

USPS service delivery truck in a residential area of San Francisco, California (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I really felt bad about cutting out postage stamps. My dad worked for the United States Postal Service until he retired. His hard work and the postal service put me through college and gave him and my mom a comfortable retirement.

Sometimes necessity forces you to put sentiment and loyalty aside. Since July I have been mailing all my bills by mailing them to myself with no postage and the name of the company written in the return address spot.

Dad, I’m sorry. I know that is a felony. This is my first offense and I needed money for socks. The rocks were tearing holes in them.

Thank You

Thank you to the scholarship board for choosing my son for this honor. We all know he deserved it, the kid busts his tail every day. I appreciate your wisdom in recognizing that.

Thank you, rich people who endowed the scholarship. Your contribution to my son’s education is very much appreciated. We will all be better off once he brings what is inside him out here into the real world with us. That will be very apparent to you when you meet him at the award banquet.

To all you rich people who have yet to endow a scholarship, I say this. Please consider lobbing some disposable income at your local college or university. Do it for the kids. Remember, behind every budding scientist/trombone player you help is a Dad who just wants clean socks and a glass of milk.

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If I hadn't written this, I would use these to tell people I'd read it.

I am on a scholarship committee that evaluates scholarship applicants. While this has always been a feel-good activity, ’til now I never realized its potential for reducing rates of osteoporosis and increasing bone density in milk-deprived parents. I will share this with my fellow committee members and I’m sure we will approach our task next round with an even greater sense of fulfillment and vigor.

I’m sorry to be slow in getting back to you, my fingers were stuck together with peach juice.

Thanks very much for your work. I wish there was some way for you to get videos of when people open the envelopes you send so you could see the result of what you do. I never realized this, but apparently there is this little dance that your body spontaneously does when you read a scholarship award letter with your child’s name in it.

I like how Cap’n Crunch took priority over milk, peaches, laundry detergent and postal stamps. It says much about a man that he is willing to do time for a felony postal violation in order to have good breakfast cereal.
Do you miss Eastern Shore tomatoes and Silver Queen corn?
Congratulations!

been feeling your same sacrificial pain. dinners have been had by making the rounds at wegman’s for free samples throughout the store. too funny about invading the vehicular territory of 14 YOs and drunks. and that postal service trick is genius!

Congratulations! And you live in NC, so you are eligible for “resident” rates.

I could not afford to send the children I do not have to my own alma mater: Florida Presbyerian, now Eckerd College. Annual tuition, which includes, room and board was an economical $3,000 or so in 1970. Now, it is over $40,000. Their website says 96% receive financial aid and the average award is $26,000.

I recommended New College for another blogger’s daughter. Used to be private but is now part of the Florida State University system, but with “special” entrance requirements.
Most of my classmates at FPC applied to New College but were not accepted. Seems a 4.0+ GPA and 1450 on the SAT wasn’t good enough for New College, which U.S. News & World Report ranks as the #5 public liberal arts college in the country.

I assumed since it s a State University, even non-Florida rates would be reasonable. After suggesting it, I checked their website. Non-resident annual tuition is $23,000.
(The blogger lives in Minnesota.)

Congratulations both to your son, for obtaining the scholarship, and to you, for raising him and apparently also for rejoining the ranks of civilisation. I’m looking through unis to apply to at the moment, and pockets are already feeling pinched. Cereal, milk, fruits… hardcore stuff, what. Happy partying!

Man, I’ve been saving for college since conception, which was really awkward for the bank manager. It is amazing how much the costs have risen. Tuition alone is easily four times what I paid back in the day.