Clinton Campaign Builds Moat Around Fundraiser

POTOMAC, MD—Again under fire for their lavish fundraisers, Clinton campaign staffers built a moat surrounding a fundraising event at a private residence in Potomac yesterday evening, which they have defended against reporters who accuse the campaign of shutting them out. “We did not intend to prohibit reporters from hearing the Secretary’s speech,” said Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook, as he discreetly shredded transcripts of the candidate’s speeches to Goldman Sachs. “We were simply providing a water body for some of her donors to frack in while waiting to hear her speak.” The event was only accessible via a drawbridge, which could be activated for a small campaign contribution of $353,000 per person.