A state of wellbeing is a state of being comfortable, healthy and happy; a good or satisfactory state of existence.

I think I need some of that.

See, I came to believe that wellbeing was all juices, yoga, positivity and happiness, feeling great and being chilled, which I guess is a part of wellbeing as a whole, but I feel my sense and vibe of wellbeing has been warped, but more so lately it’s been lacking.

Since the end of May I have had this heavy feeling in my chest and in my head, I’ve not been been able to shake it and I still don’t know what has made me feel this way. A week in Ibiza where there was sun and slow wifi made me feel at peace and relaxed, it felt amazing, I felt whole and like this new routine was so much better than what I’d been experiencing before. But that’s the thing, I can’t keep escaping or deterring from this feeling, because sooner or later it’s going to get all too much.

One of my friends recently said that ‘if you went back to feeling those feelings you had before, then something in your wellbeing and life has to change’, and rightly so because something needs to change. The thought then popped in my mind – when I was 19 and trying to express all the angst and stress I had towards my body and eating, I used photography to express and visualise my inner struggles to create beautiful and thought-provoking art (so much so that when my Mum saw the images of me she said ‘if I didn’t know you I’d be worried’) which along with a little chat helped me clear that constant mindset that was holding me back, so I’ve decided to self-heal myself again, through writing and blogging about things related to how I feel and how to overcome it, to help me improve my wellbeing.

This isn’t an ask for feedback, it’s a creative intervention on my own behalf. I need to work out my brain dump in the only format I know – writing. Write it all out, write it out day and night until I know what needs to change and how I can make my wellbeing more than a satisfactory state of health and happiness. I want to focus on how I deal with stress so I can feel a little bit of relaxation in my life, to clear my mind and enjoy time out of things. I want to focus on happiness so I don’t feel like I worry about everything and what people think – self-help at it’s creative content best.

I’ve always prided my blog on being a little space for lifestyle and wellbeing and recently it’s felt beauty overload which is fab and fine but I don’t feel there’s much me, so I want to add more of me and my thoughts; with everything that’s been happening in the world and in my personal space, I want to share more of myself, my likes and fears, how I work things out and to possible help a few others on the way, but mostly I want to get myself back on track and know I’ve cleared all the old and looming energy that’s been frustrating me.

Here’s to a new sense of wellbeing.

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