Saturday, March 27, 2010

"You like me so much more than you think you do."

Sometimes I end up being really impulsive and acting on those impulses. Blurg. (I'm getting more Liz Lemon-y by the second. By the way, I really wanted her to end up with Floyd, but now he's getting married and she's somehow gotten roped into being in the wedding? What the what?! Seems like something that would happen to me, too.)

There's been a lot of reconnection with old high school classmates of late (blame Facebook) and, in turn, I've been thinking of who I used to be. Not a lot has changed, although I used to be even more shy than I am now. It's strange, though, because when I say I'm shy-- because I'm used to thinking I am-- people (at work and school) say they don't think I am, not really. And I get all defensive, weirdly, like "Yes, I am! I'm shy, dammit!"

But when I got together with my high school friends who already had that impression of me, I realized I had changed. I mean, I'm still shy, but I just don't let it show as much. I remember reading or hearing something to the effect of "If you pretend something long enough, you're not really pretending anymore". And that can apply to a lot of things.