Sunday, April 22, 2007

Alabaster Box

There is something incredible about this painting. I wish I could have found a larger image of it, but this was all I could find. When I was fifteen, this image was on the cover of the Pentecostal Herald. It caught my eye, and my heart. Yeah, sounds smooshy, but it's totally weird how it worked. I was a very hard-hearted individual, my pastor from Stillwater said of my family just before we left, "Randy is so smart and helpful, Patti is so generous and kind-hearted, Andy's...(oops, I forgot what he said about him)...Staci's so sensitive to God, and Aimi...(he grins and tears a bit)...Aimi's one tough cookie." Then he proceeded to tell how much I'd changed while being there. Luckily. :)

I've never been easy to get at. Or at least it has always appeared so. (I don't always show what I'm feeling. Most of the time, I don't.)

Anyways, when I first glimpsed the magazine laying out on the foyer table, I picked it up, sat in the sanctuary alone and cried. This woman was not a pure and righteous soul. You have to have many issues to be what she was. Hard hearted even. For her to so boldly approach the King in such a fashion of humility and worship, was beyond me. I remember replaying that scene from the Bible. She comes into Simon the leper's house where the Lord is eating.

"[...] And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to meat.37 And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.39 Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.40 And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.41 There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.42 And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?43 Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.45 Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.48 And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.49 And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also?50 And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace. "

This woman, who had been so cold was so touched by God, that she-WITHOUT hesitation, "wasted" her expensive and precious oils on his head, even though others criticized her. She had committed horrible things in her life, but her humility and shame combined with an unexplainable love for the Savior gave her the boldness to give the best she had, though she was not to be considered anything but the lowest form of female life.

She wasn't expecting forgiveness. She wasn't "asking" for anything in return. She knew what she was, but she, nevertheless came and worshipped the Most High.

Others wouldn't believe she had changed. Or that she was even worth anything although she had changed. But she didn't care. She pressed on. That was motivation to try my best even though my family wouldn't believe it right off. I had to show them. So I did.

I remember thinking about the evil things I had done in my life. Rebellion. Hate. On and on. I remember knowing what it felt like to collapse to the ground getting as low as I could because I felt unworthy, but I still felt that God deserved what I could give. My tears. My life. My praise. God DID change me. I have made a 180 degree turn in life. At 15 I decided to give my life to God for WHATEVER He wanted to use it for. It's all I have to give.

This is my favorite bible story. I'm not sure what we will be able to do in heaven, but it is one of my greatest desires to be able to wash His feet with my tears and dry them with my hair. Great post!

Im sitin here with tears in my eyes because part of this describes me and how feel (She wasn't expecting forgiveness. She wasn't "asking" for anything in return. She knew what she was, but she, nevertheless came and worshipped the Most High.

Others wouldn't believe she had changed. Or that she was even worth anything although she had changed. But she didn't care. She pressed on. That was motivation to try my best even though my family wouldn't believe it right off. I had to show them. So I did.

I remember thinking about the evil things I had done in my life. Rebellion. Hate. On and on. I remember knowing what it felt like to collapse to the ground getting as low as I could because I felt unworthy, but I still felt that God deserved what I could give. My tears. My life. My praise. God DID change me. I have made a 180 degree turn in life. At 15 I decided to give my life to God for WHATEVER He wanted to use it for. It's all I have to give.)its so hard to be able to realize it and man i cant believe how we can connect on a level like this and i dont see the coldness in you well not towards me anyways well actually i dont see it at all. I am so proud of u even though i dont really have a clue and i think youll do great at tbc. if u can put somthin like this out in words youll definitly make it. I just hope i find what im lookin for soon but newazs i dont remeber if ive told u this ive learned alot from you in the little time ive known you and im so happy to have met someone like you cause other than jessica youve made me look at alot of things so different and i thank you for that and i dont get like this with everyone the only other person i have is with jessica but this really touched me and keep it up cause i love reading it I love you!!!!!! see u friday