So, Amanda Bynes is doing well, guys. Last night she released this cry for help bizarre video of herself puckering her lips and looking like a chewed up Lindsay Lohan. Naturally, it scared us and became nightmare unleaded. Well, d-bags, she wants you to know that her video was actually great.

@ComplexMag Stop acting like I’m doing something wrong. I’m obsessed with myself on twitter. Also, my video last night was perfection. I’m so sick of the articles u write about me. I want every fake article deleted. Ur d*ck whipped by my ugly ex @ducidni [Ed Note: That’s Kid Cudi] who’s looks and talent have always been questionable to me, him being the ugly duckling that he is and all. U quote him non stop, then take professional shots of him for ur covers, his best photos aren’t sh*t compared to mine at my best. The photo u chose of Aubrey for her cover is awful. You make people look bad, stop acting like you know anything about what men like. I don’t stop getting follwed or hit on every place I go. I’m not trying to sing, but if I did (I got offered an Interscope record deal right after I filmed Hairspray which you might know if you sat down and did a normal interview. I still might take them up on their offer) get the facts as opposed to talking sh*t. My music is going to be sicker then whatever the f*ck kind of music Scott tries to do. Stop writing articles without speaking to me first.

3. Amanda Bynes gets hit on a lot. Good for her.
4. Last night’s video was “perfection” and if you don’t agree then you’re writing a “fake” article that she wants deleted post haste.
5. She accuses Complex of being glorified mouthpieces for CuDi. That’s just crazy: he hasn’t been on the cover in, like, at least two months now.
6. She doesn’t want to sing but she might because she got offered a deal from Interscope to sing after Hairspray that she actually might take them up on you know what her music is going to be awesome and better than Kid CuDi’s. That totally made sense.
7. Drugs are bad. No, she didn’t say that. But I just thought I’d throw that out there.

You know, when I was younger A lot of people would come up to me and say my sister looked like Amanda Bynes. Back then it was always awkward teenage boys and all, but now I take a lot of pride in pointing that out to her these days. Maybe she needs some peroxide and sour patch kids for her next gift.

I would like to believe that this is all some kind of performance art. Acting as weird, dumb, and chaotic as possible so as to be hilarious in a postmodern kind of way. That Drake/vagina business, for example, or that time she tweeted at Obama asking him to fire the cop who ticketed her — those are the actions of either a daring and hilarious weirdo who knows exactly what she’s doing, or an utter lunatic who’s entirely lost her grip on reality. I suppose I have no reason to doubt that the latter is actually the case, but I’m opting to believe that it’s actually the former.