Sunday, March 10, 2013

Confession of a elementary school teacher in Germany, some are really funny and hilarious ...

I am a teacher of elementary school ... sometimes it can be very hard. Here are some examples of student essays that I've collected over the last 2 years:

-The train stopped with a screech of brakes and the passengers evacuated on the platform.
- "Last week, we took a field trip to Castle Wolfenstein, the class teacher, Miss Mueller joined us at this old ruin we saw the old chipped front and rear walls ... the loopholes.."
By-state rooms, the Knights also had heated woman.
-Everyone listened, as Luther in 1642 his 95 prostheses knocked at the Castle Church in Wittenberg.
Caesar made ​​the stock fully and everyone stood at attention in his pile.
Graf Zeppelin was the first to set sail in different directions.
-The pasture is located high in the mountains. There is the shepherd, and the dairymaid. In the spring becomes distended, abortion in the fall.
-Our school used to be an orphanage. It above the entrance reminds one hewn woman front receives a boy and a girl behind.
-A Catholic sister can not escape because they have to live his life in the monastery.
-The power of water is so great that even the strongest man can not hold it.
-We went to the zoo. It was a big monkey in the cage. My uncle was also there.
-With a strong, wide beam give the firefighters from their water.
-The Minister of Agriculture gathered together the farmers, as the pigs were eating too much.
-The Red Cross is dedicated to the men and women love. Some do it for free, others get paid.
-When the hunter saw the belly of the grandmother, he knew immediately what had happened. (from Little Red Riding Hood)
-Where now stand the ruins were, once proud and damsels in distress waiting for their extended knight.
-After the men had scratched 100m, the women wrapped from her 200m breaststroke.
-The matches must be well hidden, so they get no small children.
- ... and we went with our teacher walks in the park. Opposite the park was a house where the mothers give birth to their children. A uterus looked out the window and waved joyfully.
-Spring is the first of the 4 seasons. In the spring put the chicken eggs and potato farmers.
From the pig-uncle was taken to the barn and there summarily slaughtered with grandfather.
8 days ago, my father sat a tame goldfinch on the head. This was just on my way to work.
-My sister is very sick. She takes a pill every day. But does it secretly so that my parents not to worry.
-When our dog started barking at night, my mother went out and nursed him. The neighbors would otherwise upset.
-The moon is smaller than Earth. This was partly because he's so far away.
-The captain drew his sword, and shot the assailant.
-My aunt had such severe joint pain that she could barely lift his arms over his head. With it went her legs well.
-The period of Queen Elizabeth, took 30 years.
-If my mother had not made an escapade, she was the traffic accident to the victim. But it came with a black eye at the knee.
-When the men came back, they were frozen stiff. They stood around the crackling fire and warmed their stiff limbs.
-In the Middle Ages, people were not as old as today. They had also not as heavy traffic.
-I do not like when in an old movie only dead actor to play.
-Almost all breeds were represented. For review, the owners had their dogs come before the jury, most of them waving it joyfully with the tail.
-Then came the age of enlightenment. Since the people finally learned that one does not propagating through the bee or the stork, but how the children themselves make.
-When Mozart died, one has counted all his compositions and numbered and made a list. It is called the ankle directory.
-One of the most useful animals that we possess is the pig. From it, you can use everything as the meat from front to back, the skin for leather, bristles for brushes and the name of abuse.
Organ and piano differ primarily in that the organ pipes, the larger sit.
-The St. Lawrence River is in America. It is so long and wide that it would have no place in Europe.
-A Catholic sister can not escape because they have to live his life in the monastery.
-Etna is a very active volcano. Only last year, he again had a huge erection.
-A peninsula is an island that is not quite finished.
-Now Tell hid behind a bush, pulled the trigger and the work of liberation was done.
-Many dogs like to go into the water. Some even live there forever, these are the seals.
Schiller would have ended the drama with pleasure, but working on his bride stopped him.
Last Sunday, my father came home very late. He had passed away in the city park.
The figure skater-turned her pirouettes, while her skirt lifted own wind.
-The women's equality was realized. This also applies to traffic. Here, too, it takes the same position.
-Christians wanted that to love all people, and they did so at every opportunity. However, since the Romans had something about it.
-The problem with the old people will not die although less so many. But it grow for ever new.
-Today everyone can study without having to look at the bag to his father.
-During the Thirty Years War was known as the best and toughest soldiers muscular animals.
-People were formerly not so old, even though they had less traffic.
-A circle is a round square.
-All fish lay eggs. The Russian even caviar.
Butter is made ​​from cows. Otherwise it is margarine.
-The zoo is great. As you can see animals that are not's.
-My summer resort on the Baltic Sea was lovely. When I got up in the morning in bed, there was a wonderful sight.
-At the pond was a maid and was milking a cow. In the water it was vice versa.
-The horses wore rosettes in the national colors on the head, and dishes to the tails. Each man was decorated similarly.
-My aunt gave me a piggy bank. She was a pig and had two slots. One for the front and rear paper for Harte.
-Yesterday we had youth skiing. All minutes let the teacher drive one. If in an early came out, he sent it back.