Signs

I’d like to share some signs I’ve seen lately… most of them over the holiday weekend. Spelling is as shown on the sign:
10. Missouri has the lowest tobacco tax in the US, buy more alcahol. – On a liquor store banner
9. Professional Wielding Available (I have questions about this one… the first is what is being wielded?) – Sign at a boat repair shop
8. We do complete motor overhalls. – Sign at a DIFFERENT boat repair shop.
7. God Bless Anerica (my mind instantly separates this into God Bless An Erica). – Sign at a fireworks stand.
6. Law Enforcement Ahead, Speed Up – Sign in someone’s yard.
5. Remember All Of Those That Can’t Be Remembered On This Day (How am I supposed to remember them, if they can’t be remembered?) – Sign in someone’s yard.
4. Fireworks Explode On Impact (um… impact with what? I have never thrown a bottle rocket on the ground and seen it explode… maybe I’m wrong.) – Sign on fireworks stand.
3. Stay Off The Water – Sign at a bridge around Mark Twain Lake. Wasn’t there the second time we drove past the entrance to the bridge.
2. School closed Because Parking Lot Sank – Sign at a School (For the record, there was a construction crew there that had drilled a hole in the parking lot and was filling it with concrete).