MST3K: GAMERA VS. GUIRON: In the strangest entry in the Gamera series---and THAT'S saying something---a Japanese kid and a Caucasian kid hop in an abandoned spaceship and fly to a star (um, planet) on the opposite side of the Sun where two hot alien space babes and their giant knife-headed pet monster try to eat their brains. It also features Gamera doing a gymnastics routine and some of the worst dubbing Sandy Frank ever blessed a bad movie lover with. The host segments feature one of the crew's shining moments, as Mike pretends to be Michael Feinstein and plays a piano rendition of the Gamera theme song. 4.5/5.

Cartoonish horror from Stuart "Re-Animator" Gordon about a group of stranded travelers who take shelter from a storm in a mysterious old toymaker's mansion. Their host's specialty is making old fashioned ceramic dolls...that come alive at night and start picking off the newcomers one by one.

The script is painfully dumb but there's some really cool stop-motion puppetry in this one. As an added bonus, sharp-eyed geeks may recognize the cute chick from a-ha's classic "Take On Me" video as one of the victims (she's the one in full-on Madonna Wanna-Be gear)!!

YELLOW SUBMARINE (1968): The Beatles sail through surreal seas in a Yellow Submarine to save Pepperland from the anti-music Blue Meanies in this animated fantasy that blurs the line between fairy tale and acid flashback. A psychedelic pop-art version of a children's storybook, with the Beatles singing and punning their way through the rare quiet moments. The animation is anarchic, witty, and highly influential, and (besides a weak ending and weaker coda) the film's biggest downside may be that there's so much going on in absolutely every frame of the film that it's almost exhausting to watch! 4.5/5

The Woman in Black (1989): British TV film adaptation of a novel by Susan Hill with a screenplay from the one and only Nigel Kneale (of Quatermass fame). Set in a small, market town on the East Coast of England in the early Twentieth Century, this tells the story of a young solicitor named Arthur Kidd (Adrian Rawlins) hoping to get ahead in his company and better provide for his growing family. Kidd travels to attend the funeral of the firm's long time client Miss Alice Drablow and settle her affairs/attend to the property and belongings which she left behind. Drablow lived in the secluded, eerie and foreboding Eel Marsh House only reached via a narrow passageway that become engulfed by the rising tide isolating its inhabitants completely at times. Upon arrival, it soon becomes clear there's something not quite right as residents of the small town react with apprehension at the mention of what Kidd is planning to do. During the funeral, Kidd spots a mysterious woman in black looming in the background but this is just the beginning of his terrifying journey into the unknown.

This is by far the best ghost story I've seen in quite some time. It's terribly creepy and leaves the viewer feeling unsettled big time. In some ways, it actually resembles some of the popular 90s-2000s J-Horror films yet this is very much its own creation and maintains a very British sensibility throughout. The whole atmosphere of the movie feels not quite right and its constant throughout the film. This movie blends elements of traditional horror as our hero's journey is not in some ways so far removed from Jonathan Harker yet the subject matter here is inherently unique and feels like a glimpse into another time, yet retains that element of lurking horror waiting to strike. Eel Marsh House is also very well achieved and comes across as an horribly frightening, isolated place. The ending though manages to shake the viewer by moving the horror even beyond its bounds. Got to give this film my highest recommendation for ghost story/haunted house/haunted places/haunted things fans so I'm giving it it ****1/2 out of ***** stars.

The Watcher in the Woods (1980): The Curtis family, consisting of Paul and Helen Curtis (David McCallum and Carroll Baker) along with their two daughters Jan (Lynn-Holly Johnson) and Ellie (Kyle Richards), move into a creepy looking old manor owned by the arguably even creepier Mrs. Alywood (Bette Davis) who lives in a residence nearby. Soon enough the two sisters, who both seem to possess parasensitive qualities, become embroiled in area's major mystery: the disappearance of Mrs. Alywood's daughter 30 years ago and an unknown presence that seems to be watching and lurking in the nearby woods.

This classic Disney horror-mystery thriller takes yet another unexpected turn into another genre before its conclusion, one that seems to come out of left field but which actually is established by previous events in the film. I really like the atmosphere of this one and that it keeps you guessing and wondering as to how it will all play out. Some horror fans may be disappointed with the ending here but I really didn't mind it at all. But even if they are disappointed, they should nevertheless appreciate all the traditional horror elements at work in this one. In some ways, this feels a bit of a throwback to films of the 30s through 50s. I'm giving this one ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

Creepshow (1982): Fun, cheesy, terrificly gory, over-the-top horror anthology film that adapts a series of stories apparently taken from a Tales From the Crypt style comic book named Creepshow seen during the film's opening and throughout the film. The film was written by Stephen King and directed by George A. Romero.

This was a blast! A great, fun, little horror anthology that starts off with more darkly comic, even humorous tales but the intensity of the stories adapted increases as the movie progresses. The opening story "Father's Day" I admit I laughed out loud at this story more than once yet one cannot deny the effectiveness of Nathan Grantham's desire for his own special kind of cake. The second story "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill" was arguably even funnier and goofier with a lead who rather resembles the stereotypical hillbilly hick taken to extremes - nevertheless there's several in-genre references sure to appeal to fans and some terrific dark humor at work with this one. The third story "Something to Tide You Over" stars Leslie Nielsen as Richard Vickers, a wealthy nutjob who devises a devilishly clever way of doing away with his unfaithful wife Becky and her lover Henry Wentworth (Ted Danson) in a way sure to give him his entertainment's worth only to have the tide unexpectedly turned on him in the end. This one is a good mix of humor and scares but the presence of Nielsen and Danson makes it actually more humorous than scary. The fourth tale "The Crate" takes us more into the realm of full-blown horror as a janitor discovers a hidden away storage crate from an Antarctic expedition in 1834. He convinces a professor to help him open the find only to unleash something truly horrific. The monster in this one is not one to be toyed with or messed around, he's seriously nasty yet this story retains some level of dark comedy. The fifth story "They're Creeping Up on You" has arguably the most startling and unsettling gore effects and is not for the weak of heart or especially those with a serious aversion to bugs as our story details how a ruthless, rich and unfeeling businessman named Upson Pratt, who also happens to have Mysophobia, is plagued by bugs. These last two stories deliver the horror really even more so than the comedy although it's still present. Just a fun, good time especially for say Halloween, I'm giving this **** out of ***** stars.

Devil Times Five (1974): Five children survive and crawl out of the wreckage of a crashed van and then seek out shelter which they find in a secluded winter country home with a rich, tyrannical businessman nicknamed Papa Doc (Gene Evans) and his friends/colleagues Dr. Harvey Beckman (Sorrell Brooke) and his drunken lush of a wife, his daughter Julie (Joan McCall) and her somewhat lecherous boyfriend Rick (Taylor Lacher), and Lovely (Carolyn Stellar), his oversexed floozy of a wife. It becomes apparent very early on something isn't quite right with these kids and this is soon confirmed when they start engaging in killing and are revealed as psychopathic.

This film is something like Don't Look in the Basement only with kids. It has some genuinely creepy and cruel moments but honestly the power and impact of what we witness here is somewhat reduced by the film's failing to get us to truly care about most of the potential victims or really anyone. With the exception of McCall's Julie, there's not one likable character in the entire film. The murder sequences tend to be emphasized and amped up with regards to the content of the violence yet the use of slow motion actually negates some of their impact. This is like a slasher film with kids only it's about as effective as most of them, which is not so much. It does have some startling moments and startling scenes that really are disturbing but these are few and far between and sitting through the rest of the film proves quite a chore. The film's alternate title Peopletoys fits this film better IMO. **1/2 out of ***** stars.

Devil's Partner (1958): Bizarre story of a decrepit old man named Pete Jensen (Ed Nelson) who performs some type of satanic ceremony in an old shack in the small town of Furnace Flats. Shortly thereafter Nick Richards (also played by Nelson), a young man claiming to be Jensen's nephew arrives in town and soon sets his sights on getting involved with Nell Lucas (Jean Allison), the pretty blond daughter of the town doctor played by Edgar Buchanan. However Nell is involved with one David Simpson (Richard Crane) who operates the local gas station but when he's unexpectedly mauled by his dog, Nick steps in and offers to help him out although he really seems more interested in Nell. Mysteriously townfolks also begin to die in mysterious ways, usually getting trampled and unexpectedly attacked by animals even in remote locations where no animals were thought to be present.

This horror mystery is quite unusual for its time and era. I was surprised to see animal sacrifice displayed so realistically albeit via shadows in a film from this time and the subject matter of devil worship being so prominent in a story from this far back. It's kind of a little bit ahead of its time yet is also a bit too predictable and easy to figure out. Still the cast in this one is good what with Ed Nelson, Edgar Buchanan (of Petticoat Junction fame), Richard Crane and Jean Allison. *** out of ***** stars.

The Devil's Hand (1962): A man named Rick Turner (Robert Alda) finds his dreams manipulated by a possible witch named Bianca Milan (Linda Christian) who seduces him away from his lady love Donna Trent (Ariadna Welter) and lures him into her cult worshipping "Gamba, the great devil god of evil!" which is led by "Grand Executioner" Francis "Frank" Lamont (Neil Hamilton of Batman fame).

This movie is pretty bad but is also surprisingly fun mainly because we get to see Neil Hamilton, Commissioner Gordon on Batman camp it up in a major way as the Grand Executioner. Also Alda's Turner is much too easily lured by the obvious charms of Linda Christian's Bianca Milan. The use of lifelike dolls and a no doubt European inspired witchcraft storyline makes this one somewhat fun but it pales when placed next to anything starring Barbara Steele that's for sure. Christian is also rather beautiful in this one which definitely adds something to its charm, slight as it may be and Welter has an exotic quality of beauty as well. Feels very much like an AIP take, it was actually released by Crown International Pictures, on an European Gothic thriller only set in modern day America instead. *** out of ***** stars.

(The actual movie is in English, but for some reason the only trailers I could find on YouTube were in Spanish or German....)

A troop of bank robbers parachute from their escape plane and land in an abandoned farm surrounded by creepy scarecrows... which, of course, are possessed by the spirits of the former landowners, and which don't take kindly to trespassers.

Fairly brutal little flick that makes up for what it lacks in logic with some impressive gore bits (disembowelments, beheadings, etc.) and an all around atmosphere of creeping dread.

Mark of the Devil- by the guy who did Freaks and it is not anywhere near that level. Only worth seeing for the too brief performances by Lugosi and Carol Borland as Luna. 3/5

That's MARK OF THE VAMPIRE-MARK OF THE DEVIL is a 1973 release about witchcraft.

Logged

If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

The choice is simple; refuse to create, and refuse to grow, or build, with care and love.

Definitely one of the strangest films I've EVER seen....Fiona Horseley plays a young woman with a very strange sexual appetite-her ladyparts consume men! Nothing gory, they just sorta vanish.

Her carnivorous coochie mutters "FEED ME!" when hungry, which in itself causes problems. Added to her woes is a geeky dude who's in love with her.

She goes into hiding, and the geek turns his affections to one of a set of Siamese twins, the prim one. Her conjoined sibling has probably jump-started entire soccer teams by herself, judging by her general behavior.

BION, this flick gets even stranger.I'll not reveal any more, but I will tell you that, if only to say you've seen a really strange movie, ANGST is worth it. It can be found alone, or where I found it....

That set was $4.50. Look for it.

Logged

If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

The choice is simple; refuse to create, and refuse to grow, or build, with care and love.

YELLOW SUBMARINE (1968): The Beatles sail through surreal seas in a Yellow Submarine to save Pepperland from the anti-music Blue Meanies in this animated fantasy that blurs the line between fairy tale and acid flashback. A psychedelic pop-art version of a children's storybook, with the Beatles singing and punning their way through the rare quiet moments. The animation is anarchic, witty, and highly influential, and (besides a weak ending and weaker coda) the film's biggest downside may be that there's so much going on in absolutely every frame of the film that it's almost exhausting to watch! 4.5/5

A gang of college kids - each representing a time honored Horror Movie Stereotype (i.e. The Jock, The Stoner, the Innocent Girl, the dumb blonde, etc.) all gather at a remote cabin for a weekend of fun. Of course, horrible things begin to happen. I can't really reveal more without spoiling the whole thing, but let's just say events quickly escalate to a hilarious "everything but the kitchen sink" level that takes nearly every horror movie cliche imaginable and turns them all sideways. A total hoot, definitely worth a watch!

THE MILK OF SORROW (2009): A Peruvian girl believes that her raped mother's sorrow was transferred to her through breast milk. That intriguing premise is somewhat wasted in a slow and drawn out tale of the girl trying to raise money to bury her mother's corpse in her native village; it's most interesting for its peek at Peruvian folk beliefs and customs, including an unusual use for potatoes. 2/5.

The trials and tribulations of a struggling all-girl punk rock band led by the aging (but still hot in a totally skanky way) Gina Gershon, who begins to wonder if it's worth the hassle as she approaches 40 without having "made it" in music. A cool comedic drama (or dramatic comedy?) with a kickin' soundtrack.

THE GAME (1997): A misanthropic millionaire gets a strange birthday present from his brother: an invitation to play in "the game," a contest that turns out to have no clear rules but lots of gunplay. Solid thriller that keeps you wondering to the end and disguises its many implausibilities well enough so you don't think about them much until the movie's over. 4/5.