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Monday, December 31, 2012

Here's yet another year falling by the wayside--I mean, c'mon, Two-Thousand-Thirteen--and yet I haven't aged a bit.How.Do.I.Manage? You ask.Well, I act like a child and folks think I'm eons younger. I'm fascinated by shiny things.

I love finding something new, like Ozzo, on a walk through the park yesterday, coming upon his first ducks. I imagine him saying to himself, because he only knows felines and canines, How do cats swim like that?

I have someone in my life who makes me laugh and makes me cry and makes me mad and makes me sing--and then begs me to stop. Twelve-plus years ago I took a giant leap, flying cross-country to meet a stranger, the perfect stranger, and it's one of those rare choices that has never been questioned.

I found a couch I love and now I must find a way to make Carlos love it, too.

I wake up with songs, full on songs, blaring in my head every morning.

I laugh. A lot. And, at times, inappropriately. I have a tendency to say exactly what comes into my mind no matter who's around. I guess that might go back to that whole "childishness" thing I mentioned earlier.

I can get lost in a good book, and really love staying there.

I live in a beautiful place, full of some of the kindest people, and best friends, I've ever met.

And these guys, and that gal.....and a little something called unconditional love. We could learn a lot about that from our four-legged friends.

And family. The logical family we create from friends we've found along the way that will always be a part of our lives, and the biological family into which we are born, and raised and loved and nurtured and accepted.So, keeping all this in mind, what do I expect the New Year to have in store for me?Hopefully, more of the same.Happy New Year, y'all.

All over the place you're reading about the biggest stories of the year, so, well, since I'm not one to lead the way, I'll follow along and share my Top Stories of 2012.

Barack Obama Finally Evolves!

On May 9,2012, in an interview fro ABC News, President Barack Obama became the first sitting U.S. president to support marriage equality.

I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.

For me, it was far and away the most powerful message sent to the world about LGBT equality I have ever heard, and I thank him every day for saying it.

Chick-fil-A-Hole

Georgia-based fried chicken chain Chick-fil-A became the target of nationwide discussion, boycott, vandalism, and, in some places, celebration, when it was revealed that the company had donated more than $5 million to anti-LGBT groups.

Company president, and Asshat-In-Chief, Dan Cathy added fuel to the fire when he said he opposes marriage equality and operates his fast-food chain according to “biblical principles.”

Let that sink in: a chicken restaurant operated on Biblical principles, except for "judge not lest ye be judged" and "love thy neighbor as thyself" apparently.

The LGBT community and its allies called for boycotts, while the soon-to-be irrelevant FoxNews talking-head Mike Huckabee called for a national Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day.

In the end, Chick-fil-A-Hole is still a hateful company, but, hey, I've never eaten there and I never will.

Ellen Beats Out One Million Moms

When department store chain JCPenney announced that Ellen DeGeneres was its new spokeswoman, the ultraconservative group One Million Moms--which a membership of far, far less than their name suggests--called for a boycott and demanded that DeGeneres be fired because of her lesbianism.

JCP stood up for her and kept DeGeneres on the payroll.

Which is why I shopped there before Ellen, and why I shop there now.

North Carolina Pastors Panic

With interfaith coalitions that support marriage equality sprouting up around the country, anti-LGBT conservative Christians went on the defensive.

One North Carolina "pastor", Sean Harris, said parents should “punch” and “crack” the “limp wrists” of children who exhibit gender-variant behavior, while a video of another "pastor", Charles Worley, asking that all LGBT people be put in concentration camps until we all die off, went viral.

In the end, the people, well, some of the people, of North Carolina , voted to add discrimination to their state Constitution by banning same-sex marriage.

Frank Ocean Comes Out

To be honest, I'd never heard of Frank Ocean until that day he came out.

Ocean, best known for being part of the hip-hop collective Odd Future, used a Tumblr post to reveal that his first love was another man.

Then came his critically acclaimed, Grammy nominated, Channel Orange, and widespread support from the LGBT community, hip-hop fans, and his fellow music artists like Jay-Z and 50 Cent.

The GOP’s Presidential Homophobes

Looking to rile up their alleged base in an election year, Republican presidential candidates doubled down on their homophobic rhetoric.

Rick Santorum said it’s better for kids to have a father in jail than to be raised by a same-sex couple and that, as president--which is a laugh riot in and of itself--he would invalidate existing same-sex marriages.

The GOP ticket of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan fell into lockstep on nearly every one of each other’s antigay positions: Both opposed marriage equality, opposed the repeal of DADT, vowed to keep the Defense of Marriage Act the law of the land, and opposed hate-crimes legislation.

Both men were sounded defeated in November, bested by two men who had come out earlier in the year in support of marriage equality.

That says volumes.

Prop 8 and DOMA Await Supreme Hearing

Several marriage equality cases were scheduled for consideration by the Supreme Court, including the challenge to California’s Proposition 8 and lesbian widow Edie Windsor’s challenge to the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act.

Despite Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s indication to students at the University of Colorado Boulder that the Supremes would take up DOMA in the next year, the justices declined to place any of the marriage cases on the docket in advance of the November election.

We're still waiting....

Maine Becomes Equal

Maine voters made history by affirming same-sex marriage.

The state reversed a 2009 ban on marriage equality, by approving Question 1--granting equality to gay and lesbian citizens--by a vote of 54%to 46%.

Maryland Becomes Marry Land

Maryland voters also made history on that same November Tuesday by becoming among the first in the nation's history to affirm marriage equality at the ballot box.

In March of this year, Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley signed into law a marriage equality bill that had successfully passed through both chambers of the state legislature, but before the law could take effect, opponents gathered enough signatures to refer the issue to voters with a referendum.

But voters passed that vote.

So, in Maryland, the governor was for equality, its House and Senate were for equality, and then its voters were for equality.

It's a pretty clear message, eh?

Washington Goes Equal

Washington also added to the number of marriage equality states when 52% of voters approved same-sex marriage, while 48% just weren't thinking correctly.

Washington becomes the ninth state--along with the District of Columbia--to legalize same-sex marriage, and among the first to do so at the ballot box.

Minnesota Says 'No' To Discrimination

After Minnesotans solidly defeated a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage in November, and also voted out the state House and Senate Republican majorities who placed the proposal on the ballot, pro-LGBT state legislators plan to push a marriage equality bill in early 2013.

Representative Alice Hausman and Senator John Marty, both Democratic Farm Labor party members, say they will push for the bill to be enacted before Governor Mark Dayton issues his February budget While the incoming legislative leadership has not yet endorsed such a push, Dayton has pledged to sign the bill if it reaches his desk.

All in all, a good year for LGBT Americans.What were you Top Stories of 2012?

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Remember when adulterer LeAnn Rimes checked herself into
rehab for, um, stress, or something? It ALLEGEDLY
had a lot to do with her need to tweet and ReTweet and TwitFight 24/7.

Well, she might be needing a second trip.

While it’s true that she has been Tweeting, Twatting, less,
there are still some issues that LeAnn faces because of her own antics. Like
when the rumors started about her disastrous and horrific, and ALLEGEDLY drunken appearance on The
X-Factor.

LeAnn tried to fix things—most reviews said she was trying
to steal the spotlight from 13-year-old contestant, Carly Rose Sonenclar—by having
a mouthpiece speak for her, but then she said the spokesman, her lawyer, wasn’t
speaking for her. Then she tried to deflect rumors that she was falling down,
knocking plates of food to the floor drunk, at the taping.

I wonder about those rumors because, well, LeAnn Rimes with
a plate of food? That seems suspect. But it all adds up to her friends and
family worried that she is on the verge of another breakdown turned round of
interviews.

According to sources—and It might be Brandi Glanville—say that
LeAnn’s horrible duet with Carly Rose Sonenclar is a sign that she’s
“headed down the same path that led her to check into a treatment facility in
August for anxiety and stress.”

That source also says, “Everyone around LeAnn can see how
much she struggles. She has body issues and worries Eddie [Cibrian] will
cheat.”

That sounds about right since she met Eddie while cheating
on her husband and he was cheating on his wife.

Still, “friends and family” are constantly worried she’s
going to fall apart again if she doesn’t get help. Which, again, might be true,
except for the “again” part. Her stint in rehab was a proactive attempt to ALLEGEDLY deal with the same emotional
issues that a lot of people face. There was no breakdown then, and Rimes is not
in a downward spiral now.

It’s all, I think, a desperate need to maintain the good
girl country image she’s cultivated since she was thirteen and to blame all
kinds of outside sources—tabloids, Twitter, Brandi—for the fact that she’s
human, and a cheater.

Who, sorry but she married Eddie Can’t Keep It In His Pants
Cibrian, will be cheated on one day herself.

What goes around comes around.

Now that would make a good country song, LeAnn.

So the new Scary Movie 5 is almost here and now we’re being
inundated with ads and clips for the film, most of which feature the surest
sign of the End Times since the Mayans got into the calendar business: Lindsay
and Charlie in bed.

But, in the previews for the film, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay
Lohan seem to be attempting to “make
fun of themselves” only, well, as much as I loathe Charlie, he’s
in on the joke.

Lohan, on the other hand, is now ALLEGEDLY bashing producers because she didn’t know she’d be the
butt of the joke.

Lindsay? Honey? You been the ass end of the joke since your
first drunken-drug-fueled car crash the week you turned twenty-one. Get used to
it.

Still, Lohan is said to be “pissed off” at Scary Movie 5 producers,
saying they secretly inserted an extra dig at her expense, and simply out of
spite.

One of the scenes concerns a pot where the Lindsay character—and
she’s playing herself here—screams at a horrific sight, and when we see what
she sees, it’s a TV tuned to Lohan movie, Herbie: Full Loaded. Lohan now claims
the scene was re-edited to show her shrieking at a news clip of, ahem, Lindsay
Lohan’s probation being revoked.

Lohan says she never cleared the change, but, um, Lindsay,
you are not the producer, or the director, you are, and I’ll say it again, The
Joke.

Lohan feels this final joke was meant as payback from
producers, because they blame her for holding up the shoot and trashing
her trailer.

“Justin doesn’t seem to care and does whatever he wants,” a
source at his record label says, claiming that the Bieb’s team had had several
talks with him, but “He doesn’t listen to anyone.”

While some say Justine is just being a typical teenage girl,
experiencing growing pains, others say, “This could really damage his
reputation if they don’t get it under control. Justin is someone young teens
look up to and this kind of behavior can really hurt his career. Just look at
what happened with Britney Spears.”

Wait. Britney’s a Lesbian?

I digress. Some sources claim Biebs on-again/off-again
same-sex love affair with Selena Gomez may be causing the mood swings. One weekends
they’re all cozy at a Dinah Shore Gold event and the next week Selena’s cozying
up to…..a man!

Bieb’s representatives have nothing to say on the matter.

But I do. He’s been a spoiled brat for years. I mean, how many times
has he been stopped for driving recklessly on LA streets? And how many times
has he had a temper tantrum because his label wants him to act like a real boy?

As long as he’s putting checks in the bank his team will let
him do whatever he wants.

But, one day, he’ll be Britney Spears for real, and will be
shaving his head and hitting cars with umbrellas and talking in a bad English
accent.

Well, Tommy Grrl has moved on after the utter devastation of
Katie Holmes’s midnight escape, with Suri in tow, from Cruise Concentration
Camp.

ALLEGEDLY.

Tom Cruise ALLEGEDLY has
a new girlfriend, and I don’t mean in that Hey
Girlfriend, what you wearin’ kind of way.

While rumors sparked, no doubt, by Tommy’s Scientology
handlers, worked overtime trying to convince people that he and Katie were totally
booty calling while he was in New York promoting his horrific Jack Reacher
film, well, that wasn’t happening.

Now, it seems, Tommy has “officially” moved on from the
ashes of his third ALLEGEDLY sham marriage
with a new romance.

ALLEGEDLY. But is the mystery woman, who is said to be young enough to
be Tommy’s daughter, a Scientology “escort’ or is she just another employee on
the Marriage Payroll?

Well, ALLEGEDLY the
future ex-Missus Cruise is Cynthia Jorge, a 26-year-old restaurant manager who
is being swept all over New York by the diminutive star.

They’ve been spotted dancing all over town—apparently someone
had taken Tommy off a high shelf so he could go out…and then, after a whirlwind
of getting jiggy with it, Tommy was dropped off for the ferry back to the
Island of Misfit Toys.

The pair first met at the Lower East Side restaurant Beauty
& Essex, which Cynthia manages, and as Tommy left the restaurant, after a
meal of Chicken Fingers and Ice Cream, she brazenly handed him her card. Which may
or may not have read I’d marry you and
only take you for Three Hundred Million after five years.

And Tommy was hooked.

ALLEGEDLY. The next day Tommy’s handlers brought Cynthia to him and it’s
been Publicity Love ever since. Followed by Publicity Marriage, Publicity Baby and Oops I Need
My Privacy Divorce. ALLEGEDLY.

So, Simon Cowell said The X Factor would be huge.

It isn’t.

It’s beaten regularly by The Voice and doesn’t scare up near
as many viewers as the awful American idol.

So he revamped….first his face, which is looking Jabba The
Hutt these days…..and then the show, by hiring Britney Spears and someone
called Demi Lovato,.

But that didn’t help and now rumor has it that Simon is trying
to “manage” Britney Spears’s departure from The X-Factor , making like he
has decided to “fire” her, even though, way back when, before Monotone-Autotone
Spears came aboard it was supposed to be a one year gig.

So how does someone fire someone from a job they’d already given
their notice to twelve months ago?

Still, insiders—and It’s probably Paula angling for another
comeback—says, “Britney will get the boot. Producers wanted her for the
long haul, but it isn’t working.”

“They paid all that for her to say ‘amazing’ and offer
half-claps,” “Paula” says. “[Simon] wanted crazy Britney, but he got
boring Britney.”

And now he’s leaking it that he’s gonna fire her.

From a job she quit, via contract, before she was ever
hired.

Ah, the magic of Hollywood, and the Boundlessness of Cowell’s
ego.

I don’t like Kanye West. His talent, in my mind, is limited
at best, but his ego is the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass.

That said, I feel for the guy because of his involvement
with Kash Kow, since she is now, ALLEGEDLY,
shopping around their upcoming-though-he-hasn’t-asked-yet nuptials.

Many sources—and you know it’s Kris Jenner trying to make
some cash and hide it away before Bruce divorces her—say that Kim has been
quietly trying interest any TV channel, public access channel, boy with a videophone,
into a Kim-Kanye wedding ad, well, no one’s interested.

Maybe Kim’s career at least is over and she can go back to what
made her famous: porn.

See, since she made a mint off her second marriage—by shopping
it to m-E-dia whore network, E, she thinks other channels will bite, too. Not
so much, and Kimmy is said to be shocked that no one really cares about another
Kardashian Wedding For Profit.

Friday, December 28, 2012

This week is all about
retail; making money. Not haute couture dresses made from toilet tissue rolls
and empty toothpaste tubes. This is real life. The designtestants are taken to
Elie Tahari's showroom and given the challenge of creating a ready-to-wear look
that can be sold for $500-700; as Carolyn Murphy, aka Not Heidi says, it's high
end, but as Josh, of the neon short-shorts says, it's a moderate price point. This
further showcases how out of touch Joshua is in his fashion, design, and retail
sense.

But,
this week's win is a big one, as the winner will have their outfit
manufactured, and sold, at all 600 Elie Tahari stores, and the proceeds will all
go to benefit the Save The Garment Center, whose mission is to encourage, highlight and promote Made in NYC and Made
in America clothing.

The designers were given HP something and a dossier on
the Elie Tahari brand, along with access to his Fabric Floor, which, sorry to say
it, makes Mood seem like a Swatch Store. So, let's see who brought it, and
who dropped it, and who made a model look pregnant and wearing a full
diaper.......

EMILIO

"Ready-to-wear is your meat-and-potatoes."

But, um, Emilio, that doesn't mean it has to be boring. Or, in mustard....and orange.....with burgundy trim.

Luckily, or not, Elie Tahari hated the colorblocking with the orange and mustard, and Emilio, so desperate to win, rethought his whole design in just mustard and burgundy. It was pretty....simple.

“My dress looks modern, sophisticated, expensive.”

Safe. Pretty. Well-made, definitely ready-to-wear. Safe.

Georgina called the color draining and hard-to-wear, which is not good for ready-to-wear. She also declared it too simple; Keibler hated the color, and wondered what her boyfriend George Clooney what would think of her in it. I wondered why she was on the show and then realized: George Clooney’s girlfriend. Elie Tahari, possibly searching for something positive, said he loved the neckline and the sleeves; I’d have hated to see the model catwalk in just neckline and sleeves, though. Isaac said he expected more, and this wasn’t it; but he also said he’d throw himself across the runway if Emilio got the boot.

Which he didn’t.

JOSHUA

"I'm choosing this magenta.

This color coming down the runway will beWow!"

Or, he chose it because he needed a new pair of neon short shorts to parade around in.

When Elie Tahari saw Joshua's look in the workroom he broke down in tears....on the inside. On the outside he hinted that maybe the fuchsia fabric with the bits of fuchsia lace thrown on it might need a rethink, but, well, Joshua loves a splash of color because he thinks that's all one needs to get to the tents. Not so much.

Plus, one needs to be able to fit a dress, and not make the boobs look like loose kittens inside a blouse, and a zipper so wonky even Joshua said, "It looks like she has a dump in her butt."

“I really like the way the dress fits on my model.”

Yes. He said that! While I said, Neon! My eyes! Georgian, though, loved the fabric and the color, but hated that the model’s breasts seems to sag almost to the floor. Isaac echoed the gorgeous fabric bid, but raised Georgina a horrid fit and bad length, and then said, “I don’t even wanna talk about the zipper.” That’s when Joshua got pissy and said it was just a fit issue that could have been fixed had there been more time, more fabric, less lace and a more accomplished designer. Elie Tahari also loved the fabric but thought the lace ruined it, and Not-Heidi told Joshua [again!] to edit.

Or be edited Out.

IVY

"I decide to do a really cute short dress with a colorblocking combo because I know that Elie Tahari is very famous for that."

And then she finds a fabric that, ahem, "inspires" her and suddenly its gone crazy.

When Joanna Coles and Elie Tahari came round for the crit, his major concern was the length. He basically said, "make it shorter" and Ivy basically said, "The customer can hem it" and Joanna basically said, "You're lazy, Ivy."

She should'a listened.

“The colors are romantic and beautiful.”

I think Ivy has become so Buddhist that she thinks if she says something enough it will come to pass.

Not this time. The dress was heavy and sad, and that wee belt bunched the fabric together so you really missed the fabulous print that she said was such an inspiration. Not-Heidi loved the colorblocking which caused me to think, “What colorblocking?” Oh, you mean that patch of orange at the top? Georgina thought the length made it look frumpy, while Isaac loved the dress when it walked but called it awkward standing still, Elie really wished Ivy had listened and cut off the black because it made the dress far too heavy.

And out.

ULI

"I'm trying to do something different."

Remember when the season started and Uli was all about the flowy halter dresses and then had to switch it up--I think on the disco challenge? Well, she switched to feathers and embellishments and dresses in white and now she's stuck on the white. And I'm worried.

Elie Tahari was worried about the heavy fabric Uli chose, and the fact that she draped it around the front of the model making her look fat. Uli listened to the hint and went a whole new direction.

“The dress looks clean, pretty.”

Like a shower curtain. Seriously, like my shower curtain. I didn’t like this one at all, and hated the fringe which made it look unfinished. But, I guess that’s why I’m an armchair judge because Georgina Chapman loved the details, though she thought the length was “neither here nor there.” Isaac disagreed and thought the length was so wrong that it was right, while Not-Heidi told Uli she could design in white every week [Which means she probably will, and if she gets to the tents it’ll be All White Uli]. Stacey Keibler called it classy while Elie was glad Uli listened to him and rethought the whole dress.

Uli, which freaks me out to say this, might have won had it not been for Anthony Ryan.

Might.Have.Won. I seriously hope she mixes things up again and goes a different way, because while white can be pretty, it’s also kinda dull.

ANTHONY RYAN

"I want to show the judges what I can do with a print."

This is one reason he keeps winning, and the one reason I think he might take the whole thing--unless there’s a huge tumble. Anthony Ryan tries different, while keeping with his own sense of design. And his choice of a bold, big print could have been disastrous, but he cut the print in such a way that it was a colorblocked print--much like Elie Tahari's sensibilities.

Which made Tahari like Anthony Ryan’s look, and turned him into the PR’s Mr. Miyagi, awhile Anthony Ryan became Grasshopper in Lifetime’s new Kouture Kid miniseries. He began preaching to the choir, even moving the Botoxed face of Joanna Coles, by saying things like, “When the pressure is more, the reward is bigger.”

I kinda got a wee crush on Mr. Miyagi, er, Tahari.

“I love what the print does.”

I loved his dress. You knew right away it was an Anthony Ryan, but the way he cut the print to fit the pattern was very cool. Isaac loved the way Anthony Ryan used the print but hated the neckline—all this focus on necklines this week, eh? Elie called it good and smart, and you just knew Grasshopper was his favorite. Keibler loved it and began butt-dialing Clooney to buy it for her, while Georgina called it young, but not Junior—which is death for a designer, I guess.

In the end, Anthony Ryan gets his fourth win!

MY TAKE

Stacy Keibler as a guest judge? They called her an actress but I’ve only seen her act as Clooney’s girlfriend. They called her a model but I’ve never seen her model anything but an accessory called George Clooney.

Elie Tahari is delicious and sweet and his whole rags to riches story was lovely.

I knew Ivy would go; after four weeks in the toilet, it was about time for a flushing.

Joshua, who I think designs for himself and not fort any real person, is next to go. His show might be bold and fun and neon, but it won’t be good.

Uli. No. More.White.

Emilio will be at the tents but he’ll be safe and, well, not a winner.

I think this season is Anthony Ryan’s to win, like the first All-Stars was Mondo’s. I’ll truly be shocked if he doesn’t score the big prize.