Mass. Market: Land of the weird and home of the strange

Jon Chesto

Monday

Dec 29, 2008 at 12:01 AMDec 29, 2008 at 5:44 PM

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any weirder around here, 2008 came along. We saw one company’s request for a liquor license hold up activity in the State House for months, a local bank reduce its name to just one letter and a hotel calculate its room rates using the Dow Jones industrial average. Here’s a look back at some of the quirky events that kept the Massachusetts business scene from being anything but business as usual.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any weirder around here, 2008 came along. We saw one company’s request for a liquor license hold up activity in the State House for months, a local bank reduce its name to just one letter and a hotel calculate its room rates using the Dow Jones industrial average. Here’s a look back at some of the quirky events that kept the Massachusetts business scene from being anything but business as usual.

Boldest prediction: Art Hogan, chief market analyst at Jefferies & Co.’s Boston office, received plenty of attention Oct. 10 when he called a bear market bottom on a day just before the Dow plunged below 8,000 during intraday trading. Turns out, Hogan was probably right. The Dow has flirted with those levels since that prediction, but it hasn’t remained there for long.

Lamest attempt at injuring a business: A Woburn woman pleaded guilty to “tainting” Flintstones vitamins by replacing the pills with gum balls, M&Ms and jelly beans. She returned to the stores where she bought the vitamins to get refunds on her credit card. The bottles ended up back on the store shelves, until two kids munched on their contents. She was eventually charged with attempting to injure a business, sentenced to six months of home detention, a $2,500 fine and was ordered to pay $4,500 in restitution. That’s a lot of Jelly Bellies.

Least effective way to raise money: Framingham State College sent out a letter in September to 6,000 alumni, asking for money. It seemed like a fairly straightforward letter, until the letter writer repeated the word “blah” 137 times in a row. Isn’t FSC supposed to be focused on “higher education?”

Most dramatic change in a corporate headquarters: Big Dig contractor Modern Continental used to reign over the area’s construction industry with spacious digs in Cambridge overlooking the Charles River. By the time the company filed for bankruptcy in June, it had moved to a tiny basement office in a nondescript building in Dedham, across the hall from the bathroom.

Most sudden demise of a company: Imagine buying something at a steep discount in a going-out-of-business sale, and then finding out it was a ticket to Bankruptcy Court. That’s what many people discovered when they thought they were getting bargains in Tweeter’s final days. The stores were shut and locked several days earlier than planned, with merchandise inside (including many items that had already been purchased) even though the signs on the doors said the liquidation sales would continue for the rest of the week. Well, I guess every shopper can benefit from a crash course in bankruptcy law – just not this way.

Most annoying way to wake up: I like jazz as much as the next person. But I sure am glad that I wasn’t at Logan Airport at 6:30 a.m. on the day when JetBlue began offering daily nonstop service to New Orleans – the day the airline planned to greet passengers with a New Orleans-style jazz band first thing in the morning. I guess it beats having a steel drum ensemble lined up before an inaugural, early-morning flight to the Caribbean.

Best reason to raise a pint of Sam Adams: When the craft brewing industry was hammered by a global hops shortage, Boston Beer Co. Chairman Jim Koch and his company decided to sell off some of Boston Beer’s hops to its smaller rivals so they could keep making their beer. Runner-up: As the credit crisis worsened, making it almost impossible for a small business to get a loan, the maker of Samuel Adams beers teamed up with Accion USA to start a loan fund to help food- and beverage-oriented entrepreneurs in New England get off the ground.

Most enigmatic corporate logo change: We’re still trying to figure out what Stop & Shop’s new logo means. The Quincy company offered little by way of explanation when it changed the logo in August. Is it supposed to be a bunch of fruit slices or a subtle reference to the “Partridge Family” TV show?

Most enigmatic corporate name change: South Shore Co-operative Bank officials decided that the bank had a few too many words in its name. So as part of a corporate “rebranding,” the Weymouth bank unveiled its new name – “S Bank” – in October. Well, if bank executives wanted a name that people would talk about, they certainly succeeded.

Best example of why companies are reluctant to start doing business in this state: I’m sure the executives at the Wegmans corporate office in Rochester, N.Y., had no idea their much-beloved supermarket would be greeted with so much resistance. The town of Westwood embraced Wegmans’ request for a beer and wine license for the first Wegmans in the state, but it also needed the Legislature’s approval. First, Rep. Angelo Scaccia (who was helping out a rival chain) held up the bill until Rep. Paul McMurtry (who represents Westwood) kept blocking nearly every other piece of legislation from moving forward until the Wegmans bill came up. Then Rep. William Galvin (who represents Canton, where residents are worried about traffic) blocked the request, holding up other bills, until finally relenting two months later. Then Sen. Brian Joyce (who also represents Canton) blocked the bill, until Sen. Marian Walsh (who also represents Westwood) finally pushed it through on a Friday afternoon this month. No wonder it took Wegmans eight decades to come here.

Best argument for buying a home generator: Unitil customers in the Fitchburg area were without electricity for at least 12 days this month after an ice storm took out some power lines. The incident exposed the skeletal size of Unitil’s Massachusetts crew base, and made me actually happy that I live in NStar’s territory.

Most creative way to capitalize on the bear market: The Colonnade Hotel in Boston offered a 20 percent discount on its rooms if the Dow Jones industrial average declines for the day, and a 10 percent discount if the Dow finishes up that day. Runner-up: The Chatham Bars Inn offered sandwiches at a price equal to the Dow’s closing level (a Dow close of 8,500 meant that the sandwich would cost $8.50). Apparently, that represented about half of the sandwiches’ regular prices. However, if you can afford to eat at a place that charges more than $15 for a roast beef panini, you probably don’t need the discount anyway.

Best example of truth in advertising: Captains of Industry announced its move from Watertown to the Faneuil Hall area in Boston. The ad agency said it wanted to move into Boston to help attract talented employees – and it pointed to its new office’s proximity to The Tap, a popular watering hole that the firm calls its “downstairs research department.”

Dumbest advertising move: I can’t help but think someone had been on a sugar high over at the Dunkin’ Donuts HQ in Canton when they picked chef Rachael Ray to be the chain’s latest celebrity promoter. Sure, it was a stupid move showing her in an ad with a scarf that bore more than a faint resemblance to traditional Palestinian garb. But the real problem with this casting coup was hiring someone who is reportedly a Starbucks fan.

Strangest use of ill-gotten gains: State and federal officials accused a Sudbury man of setting up a bogus real estate investment fund that drew as much as $1.6 million from unsuspecting victims. Just another Massachusetts white-collar criminal, right? Well, check out page 24 of the complaint to find out what he did with the money. Sure, credit card bills and hotels are there. But he also supposedly blew his victims’ cash on zoos, clowns, jugglers and a hippopotamus tour. I’m not sure what that last one is, either.

Reach business editor Jon Chesto at jchesto@ledger.com.

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