Sunday, 1 June 2014

LETTER TO WENGER 01

Dear Arsene,

It is with joy unbridled and
happiness unlimited that I received the news that you have appended your
scrawly signature to a new three-year contract, and you will be at the helms of
the football affairs of The Arsenal till 2017, and probably beyond, because
your style and the vision of Stan Kroenke fit like a mortise to a tenon. I have
nurtured the dream of writing you this letter for a very long time, but I
needed to be sure you were not ditching the Emirates, because it would be
pointless writing to you about a future you had no interest to feature in. As a
Gooner for the better part of 16 years, you have been the only Manager I know
at my beloved Arsenal, and the thought of another Manager sitting in the front
row of the Home Bench at The Emirates still looks hazy to me at the moment.

Actually, I have waited so long
to write this letter, but not as long as I have waited to enjoy the kind of
feeling I had on Saturday 17th of May when I saw players in Red and White with Victoria Concordia Crescit crested on
their badge lifting the FA Cup Trophy aloft in sheer joy and ecstasy. That
feeling has been missing for the better part of nine years, and now that it is
back, I want it every season like it used to be in the first seven years of my
fanship. This is the reason I am writing this open letter to you Le Professeur.

Honestly, Arsenal Football Club
will always be grateful to you for what you have done for the Club both on and
off the field. You brought your cosmopolitan ways to Arsenal and changed the
Club to a consistent contender and a serial winner. Off the field - a new
training facility, a new fitness regime, a new diet plan, a lure for
continental players, and a new stadium to cap them all were all your ideas. And
on the pitch, you ensured the Club remained competitive during years of lean
finances despite the infiltration of the English game by filthy money from
Russia and later from UAE. Only a fool, like that loquacious creep working for
that emotionless Russian Mafioso, will question your position in Club Football.
You are one of the few good men remaining in football, but in this age and
time, character and attitude off the pitch count for little, only success on
the pitch count for much. Moreover, your Legacy, though indubitable in the
Arsenal Folklore, will be driven by the Media from the perspective of years of
drought; you know bad news is what sells the most.

Objectively, I did understand
those periods of lean finances, and unlike that Twitter-follower-whoring, incompetent-at-journalism, BOOM-shouting-only-when-we-score twat, I defended your actions and decisions
everywhere I could; but that is now water under the bridge and I want a squad
that can stand toe-to-toe with any squad in Europe. At the moment, we have a
Very Good Squad but we need at least four more players to turn it into a Great
Squad - a competent back-up Goalkeeper, a versatile Centre Back, a
Young-Rugged-Skilful Defensive Midfielder, and a Ruthless Striker (an upgrade
on Giroud). Let me add that if Vermalaen does leave, we need two Centre Backs
considering Sagna, our deendable emergency Centre-Back, will also leave. Being
a shrewd spotter of talent, I trust you to buy some known quality or unearth
some diamonds in the dirt. Next season, Arsenal will be Challenging, not just
Participating, in Four Competitions, therefore, we need a big squad with Depth
and Quality. All round quality is what keeps a team together, Fabregas
departure to Barcelona was predicated on the dearth of quality in the squad he
captained – Almunia in Goal, Senderos at Centre-Back, Song in Central Midfield,
and Adebayor as centre Forward - I still get those nightmares occasionally and
I tell you, only consistent trophies can fully bring an end to this torture.

In the same vein, a little bit of
ruthlessness is needed to have a committed squad. In this age where the average
footballer earns far better than Medical Doctors, the least they could do is
give consistent committed performances. Any player who could not prove his
worth in two seasons should be let go. Being a Father-Figure is all good, but
you know not all sons are reliable. Most Professional Footballers are not sons
to be groomed and molded into better human beings, they are mercenaries selling
their expertise to the highest bidder. They rarely buy into any plan that does
not involve them getting hundreds of thousands of Pounds at the end of every
week. I know you have hope in human nature, and you believe no one is beyond
redemption, but we feel serious hurt when a bumblebee like Song plays well for
a season and hurtles off to Barcelona, or the inconsistent Nasri bounced off to
Manchester City after a decent half-season, or the sicknote Van Persie ran-off
to Manchester United after a fantastic eighteen months which were preceded by
six years of being consistently knackered, six years when you always left his
space open in the squad to the detriment of the team’s attacking abilities. I
know we consider ourselves classy, and we stand by our players in their time of
needs, but it is tedious when all we as fans could brag about is Class.
Moreover, do players respect Class? Of course, the little boy inside Van Persie
does not, neither does the mature hipster inside Alex Song, neither does the mediocre
ogre inside Adebayor, nor does the ugly cunt inside Nasri.

On a lighter note, now that you
have steered us through the stormy waters of austerity and we have gazillions
of cash available to improve the Squad a la all the Partnerships, I hope I can safely
assume we will not be seeing signings like the Almunias, the Cygans, the
Silvestres, the Andre Santos, the Parks, and the Bendtners who as a butterfly
considered himself an eagle; and let me just put it out there, I will buy your
autobiography, just solely because I want to know what the signing of Park Chu
Young was really all about. As a realist, I know we will not be making signings
like Ozil every transfer window, but at least we can add players from the top
of the crop or maybe the layer directly below the top, not scraping the base of
the bushel as in windows past.

Le Professeur, you lead the famous Gunners with Canons crested on
their chests, and we the Gooners have been Loyal (unlike Chris Brown’s Babes),
now is the time to bring the Glory Days back! Make the Owners match their Words
with Actions! Build a Formidable Squad! Let us bring Victoria Concordia Crescit
into play once again! Let The Arsenal become the undisputed Pride of London!
Let “Come On You Gunners” not sound hollow and shallow again! Let Trophyless
Seasons become Ancient History! And Let Gooners across the Globe regain their
Pride of Place in the Court of Bragging Rights!