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Newspaper Page Text

' WHAT IGNORANCE
The new teacher had arrived at
the school, and the pupils were
sizing her up.
The first lesson was in natural
history, and the teacher had chos
en the interesting but cohiplex
subject of the cat. .
"Now, children," she said, "tell
me what sort of clothes pussy
wears."
No reply.
"Come, come!" said the new
teacher, determined to extract the
right answer by naming every
thing thai pussy didn't wear.
"Does she Wear feathers?"
A pained expression crossed the,
face of a little boy in the front row.
"Please, ma'am," he asked pity
ingly, "ain't you never seen a
at?" '
m Z MINUTE VAUDEVILLE
Slap: Are you going to pro
mote the public health and swat
the fly?
Thud: Now I'm going to pro
mote my private health and not
swat. That's what.
81ap: Why? Are you too sen
sitive? Thud: Not at all. It's the
other people who are too sensi
tive. Once I saw a fly on a man's
nose and swatted it, and just for
that the man swatted me.
Slap: Was he angry because
you had hurt the fly? '
Thud: That's just the trouble
I hadn't hurt the fly. Here
after I'm going to use fly poison.
Slap J I hope when you do you
take enough of it to prove fatal.
jWliat do you suppose, attracts
lAU2HINtt Ufa) 2ffUNC AT OV6R
S6RC J IS3 IT BOS3IBL6 I AM
MISJfNC Z0HEBIH4S GOOTf
S,. MISJNC SOHEDlHtS GOOT? r
flies to a bald man's head? jjjjg
Thud: It's the reflection. It .per Hr
sees another fly in the polished 13 M&&
surface and drops down to talk t Ss
it.' Did you know fles spread dis
ease:
Slap: No. All I see them dv
light on the table and try tc
spread the butter
Thud: You ought to live in a
house with screens.
Slap: I did live In a hoUse
with screens but the flies came in
anyhow.
Thud: Why was that?
Slap: Because the bars wen
too far apart.
Thud: Then why didn't you1
leave that house?
Slap: Couldn't. The ban
were loo close together.
,"
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