Taylor Swift Is Stalking The Kennedys

The Kennedys had better start locking their doors at night, because it looks like Taylor Swift is stalking them.

According to People Swift, 22, who is said to be dating Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s son Conor, 18, just bought a house in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, right across the street from Conor's grandmother (and Lucy's neighbor) Ethel.

Local newspapers estimate that Swift paid $4.9 million for the seven bedroom property, which overlooks the Nantucket sound. The realtor told People that the house was originally listed a few years ago for $14 million by someone SMOKING CRACK.

Now that she owns a house across the street, the Kennedy's can probably look forward to Taylor Swift hiding in the bushes near their driveway, waiting for them to come home so she can accidentally run into them. She will likely also start sneaking into their house to try on all of their pastel-colored Cape Cod sweatshirts and, when they confront her about it, scream that she doesn't know why they're freaking out because that's just what friends do and aren't they her best friends? And, yeah, she's holding a cleaver she found in their pantry, but she would never do anything to hurt her best friends. And they are her best friends, right?

She'll probably also keep a lot of booze at her house for that Kennedy boy who's too young to drink, so I wouldn't let him visit her there without adult supervision (preferably by a non-Kennedy).