I Switched to a Walking Lunge Desk and You Should Too!

Everyone knows by now that if you’re sitting at a desk all day you might as well stop working and start writing your own obituary. That’s why I’m escaping the slow march of death by half-squatting away from it while easily completing my daily tasks.

Sure, strapping on the mobile desk harness is a little uncomfortable at first, but after that first time, you barely notice it’s there. It’s a small price to pay for the improved health and quality of life I’ve experienced by bending one leg after another at a 90-degree angle eight hours a day, five days a week.

In a small study of ten office workers, those who chose to work while doing walking lunges for 180 minutes after lunch reduced blood sugar by as much as 83%. The sample study consisted of just one person (me) and has yet to be reproduced on a larger scale, but these results should surely quell the complaints I’ve received from my co-workers, whose judgement is probably affected by the musculoskeletal damage caused by outdated modes of anchored working.

Take Brian and Dave. Instead of embracing the obvious health benefits of this revolutionary work-life tool, they choose to fizzle away their time complaining of “illegible” work and “emails that look like they were written in a blender” coming from yours truly. Would you say someone who recently executed 60 perfect walking lunges in a 12-by-12-foot shared conference room is suffering from a “clear lack of concentration?” Me either. I’d say that person is lunging ahead of the curve.

The fact is, people who consistently use a walking lunge desk have calves and glutes that are more defined than Brian’s or Dave’s, and that can be a hard pill to swallow if you’re addicted to suckling gravity from the teat of an office chair. If you refuse to leave the Aeron womb, you’ll never learn to walk, much less lunge toward optimal physical fitness-slash-productivity.

Plus, my stress levels have gone WAY down. Why worry about a big presentation when I’m laser-focused on completing a series of random physical tasks that keep my quads burning on par with the performance levels of Usain Bolt? As for my focus, it’s never been sharper: I’ve constantly got my eye on the finish line — or at least the arbitrary area by the coffee machine where I turn around and head back the other way to keep my productivity flowing.

I used to be anxious after going home from the office, now I funnel all my emotions in to one continuous physical torture throughout the day. Just last Wednesday, I got my heart rate up to 186 during an important client meeting. Did it smell a little like gym crotch? Sure. But who has two thumbs and is less likely to die of a heart attack? This guy.

Look, I’m not trying to convince you this is a better way to work, but I am trying to lead by an intense cardio example. If I’m lunging past in your peripheral vision, you’ll probably think twice about grabbing that 4 pm Twix from the vending machine. And if I inspire even one of you to join me, we can start to change the static quo around here.