What to Do When You Spot Your First Gray Hair

So you got your first gray hair. This is a big deal! Really, congratulations. It’s your coming of age. (Emphasis on age.) It’s also not the end of the world, because you’re a big boy who can work through this somewhat sobering milestone.

There’s no pity in this post: You shouldn’t feel bad about “going gray”. If you didn’t see this coming—even if it’s happening in your 20s—then you should pause and consider all the other things that await you, like swollen joints and forehead creases and ultimately a lonely grave. Plus, at least you have hair that can even turn gray in the first place. Lots of bald guys would kill to be in your position!

Here, as our gift to you on this momentous occasion, are five tips that will help you through this difficult time—and all the decades to follow.

1. Don’t pluck it

So much of going gray is about acceptance. And if you want to pray the gray away, the best way to do it is to dye it or trim it—but never to pluck it. Plucking your hairs is much more damaging to the follicle, whereas dyeing it will primarily compromise the shaft of the hair. As new hair grows, the shaft will revive itself. But it’s that follicle you want to be good to, since the end goal isn’t to have less hair. (Once you’re fully gray, you’re going to appreciate each and every hair you have, so don’t go murdering the first few to show up.) Alternatively, you can snip them shorter if you just want to remove them from sight, and since dyeing a single strand of hair seems a bit melodramatic.

2. Switch your shampoo and conditioner

You’re still a long way from mirroring Anderson Cooper, but now might be a good time to switch out your shampoo and conditioner. If you swap in something with brightening qualities, it will ensure that any gray hairs you do have—even those few and far between—stay vibrant. In other words, they’ll look more silvery than dull. Then, as your grays grow in number, you’ll already be in the habit of brightening these hairs, with no inverse effects on your naturally blonde, red, brown, or black hair.

3. If you plan to dye, do it subtly

It’s too soon for a dye job, but it’s suddenly something you’re considering. If you just have a few small patches, you can spot-color by matching your tone with the various drugstore options, like the spectrum of tones from Just for Men. Or, once it’s a little saltier and pepper-ier, consider something like True Sons which more gradually colors the grays, so that it’s a subtler blend into your natural color, one that people won’t notice from one day to the next.

Though, once you have more grays than not, it’s time to embrace the change—unless you’re content with people noticing the dye jobs.

4. Use a hair oil

One hair styling product that is criminally under-appreciated is hair oil. It softens and relaxes the hair, which will be good for the more wiry gray hairs as they spring up. It also gives you a healthy sheen that, again, will prevent dullness in any grays, making them appear more silver and healthy. You can add a drop or two to your exiting styler if you usually wear shorter styles, or you can use it on its own in longer styles as a taming agent—still, just a few drops, warmed in the palms, will suffice.

5. Imagine the possibilities

Project optimism. If you embrace the gray, in a few years you’ll join the silvery ranks of Jeff Goldblum, Barack Obama, Nick Wooster, and Jeff Bridges. That’s a league of extraordinary gentlemen, if there ever was one. In the meantime, though, you can start a vision board of all the amazing hairstyles you’ll wear with silver hair. You might even embrace a new side of your personality, matching it with some smart glasses or a sophisticated wardrobe. After all, lots of guys pay for silver or platinum hair, whereas genetics are giving it to you for free. So, own the change, and start to think of all the ways you can evolve with it.