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Friday, August 6, 2010

How to Deal With Rude People:

(No Actors were harmed in the making of this photo: this was just on a movie set I was working on...this was a prop gun...and his blood is all special effects blood)

I did think this was a funny picture to use for the post title: how to deal with rude people! ha ha ha

I think everyone at some point in their day or week, comes across the path of at least one person who is rude to you.

I encountered a few people today that were extra-rude! I first thought, maybe they are just having a bad day, maybe they can't help that they lack people skills and kindness. Then as I continued to speak to rude person #1, I realized, "I think they are just rude!" Then I came across rude person #2, and again I was amazed at their rudeness! How can these people go though life mowing people over with their horrible attitudes and words?

This is what I've realized when I "get" to come in contact with these "rude-y's"...

#1. Don't let them effect you with their rudeness ~ I try to never react with what I feel like dishing out to them...that would make me just as awful as them.
To the rude lady at the cupcake shop who rudely tried to make me feel like an idiot..to which I could have rudely replied, "You are one of the rudest business people I've ever dealt with...I could go on youtube and have thousands of people hear about how stinkin' rude you are and that NO ONE should ever buy your stupid cupcakes. You have the worst people skills and HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO anyone, let alone a potential customer that way you depressing little woman! I don't want anyone to ever have to deal with you or your pretentious little cupcake bakery!" BUT I DIDN'T SAY ANY OF THAT! (i just had to think of all the awful things I COULD have said, but I don't even naturally think like that! ha ha ha)
Instead I said, "OK, sounds like this won't work out. Maybe I'll try back when you have all your ordering figured out. Have a great day, bye!"

#2. Never let these rudey ones put a damper on your happiness ~ Don't let them steal your happiness, that only lets them win with the "power of their rudeness"! The best revenge is being extra happy and not-effected!

#3. Overpower the rudeness ~ that saying kill em' with kindness is my favorite way of dealing with rude people. Nothing makes a "rudey" feel worse than when you are nice to them...it takes the angry wind, right out of their sails!

#4. People that are rude have no clue what graciouness is ~ Graciousness is marked by kindness, sympathy, and unaffected politeness (according to the dictionary) and rude people are the complete opposite - Ungraciousness is an offensive lack of good manners. We want nothing to do with that.

#5. Feel sorry for rude people ~ Yes, that's right, feel sorry for them, this is a horrible "disease of rudeness" that they have. I bet they have misery and anger in their lives at every turn. That's why it spills out of them like an overflowing bathtub...you get filled up on what's in the inside and it spills out.

#6. Spill some kindess ~ just like the "rudey's" are full of anger and misery (their bathtubs are overflowing)......make sure you fill yourself with kindness, so that kindness spills out on everyone that comes in your path, from a waitress to your grandma, to a stranger that you hold the door open for, or let go in front of you in line when you see they only have a few items and you have a whole cart full.

Rudeness only has an effect if we let it. Are there rude people in the world? Yes. Are they almost everywhere we go? Yes. Do we have to be victim to their rudeness? NO! We can choose to put up our mirror of "rude-reflection"...not only will it bounce back the rudeness that they just spit out at us...so that our kindness will show them how "rude-iculous" they were, but also, that we WILL NOT LET IT EFFECT US or our DAY! And even if they still keep on keepin' on with their rude ways.....we can rejoice that we are not like that, and get away from them as fast as we can!

May you be a light of sparkling kindness wherever you go today...leave a path of people who feel better for having come into your presence. A big smile, a nice "thanks you so much!", and a kind, "have a great day!"...can totally bring a smile to someone's day.

A compliment, a kind smile, and something nice or encouraging...will always make someone's day better!

Let's be a huge revolution of "happy-day-maker's" where ever we go today...and every day!

typed with love from someone who battle some "rude's" all day...and not a one of them won! ha ha ha

Sometimes people find it easier to throw a blanket over an issue but find that they still have hurt feelings underneath and ponder about why they were a target of someones negativity. I think people should empower themselves knowledge, i believe the only real way to relieve your hurt emotions is through understanding. Trying to figure out the situation, environment and questioning yourself is the first step.

Take for example if it's an online comment from a random stranger and you get butt hurt. Think to yourself "wait, this person is probably just going around leaving everyone negative comments" and asking yourself "how is it benefiting me to be angry right now?"

It will not be the first time and it will not be the last time U come across those kind of people.About your # 3, in this life time and with the kind of people that walk on this earth, not even that applies anymore, they don't recognize your action of overpower the rudeness, they have become immune to it already, they know your intentions and they don't care, they are to busy with their own selfish feeling of rudeness. It is sad but they are just rude and mean, they are born like that, miserable, their is nothing U can do. However, my opinion, the best way is to ignore them, and if U are not alone, just comment in a loud voice," I don't think this is the only cupcake store around" and off U go. Again, sadly but we have to share this world with those kind of people, just lets behave smarter. Good luck...

I will never understand these people who yes even thought they are just speaking to someone for the first time (as a customer, co-worker, etc) they say something completely out of place, insulting (ie 'wow you sure are...') and rude.

So thanks so much for sharing your thoughts once again Kandee <3 love from Canada! I'm going to try my best and remember this the next time I encounter a rude person.

I love the phrase "kill 'em with kindness" -- it beats revenge any day! and who knows, when you show someone some love, maybe it helps them get a little closer to shutting off the bad water that's making the bathtub overflow. I love this post ... thank you kandee!<3 <3 <3 hearts for youxoxo,kandee fam lil sis

You have right ! Spilling some kindness is the best way to deal with this type of people. I don't know how you are doing this, but you always encourage my heart ! you always make my day better ;-) thanks for another good tips Kandee ! And I will follow your advices ;-) Waiting for anothers ! Thanks for being such a good person. Your words are encouraged to do good things and help me survive the difficult moments. I'm glad I have such a virtual friend like you. I regret that I did not know you on live. You are so helpfull ! And always bringing joy ;-) Good luck sweetheart ! You deserve the best !

I am really very curious what these people did that was rude.. What was said..

I was a waitress / bartender for many years and I have realized that when you work with the public, it is VERY VERY hard to not have a rude day in your life.. Its one of those things, and you clearly reacted the right way.

I feel that if more people didn't react to rudeness we would have happier people all over the place. Some people are flakes, some are short, some just had a bad day, but I refuse to believe that these rude people we encounter while we are out and about are truly trying to make everyone else's lives difficult..

I work with a girl who is constantly rude to everyone! She's past being rude...she's just plain mean. I don't know what childhood trauma she's been through, but she makes work a sad place to be (and I happen to like my job!)

I wanted to tell her off so many times! Just the other day she was complaining that I had more hours than her even though she feels she works harder than me. I wanted to tell her that maybe she'd get more hours if she wasn't such a DRAG to be around! But I didn't say that. I smiled, said "so what," and walked away.

Punching her in the face would be worse than telling off, wouldn't it? :P

Kandee!!! I adore you. God Bless your courage. I just had a dream about you last night...I think it was because i was up late watching your videos :p.You really inspire me to be a better, patient human being. I try to keep my "Kandee Vision" on when going through some certain thoughts lately! Love you. -Chelsia Rosewww.SickAssembled.com

Thanks for this post, Kandee! I'm an Esthetician, & I deal with rude people every day. Sure, most of my clients are SO nice. But every once in a while, you get that one bad apple that seems to trump everyone else's kindness. I've even had a client call me fat to my face for NO reason!!! You're so right on this, you do have to kill 'em w/ kindness.

I went to this shop today called the little traveler and they had a variety of really cute/affordable watches. All the bands on the watches had different designs. There are soo many with animal prints!!! I thought of you because they reminded me of something you would like. The store is called the little traveler in Geneva, IL. Maybe you could check them out on their website or even when you come to chi!!

You said to spread your kindness, to your waitress, or your grandma, etc. I just wanted for you to hear that I am a waitress, and even if I am having a bad day, I still put a smile on my face and try not to ruin someone else's day. Although sometimes theres are customers who come and THEY are the rude ones, and then I will try to be very nice, and suddenly, they're as nice as I am! sometimes you just have to give them a little nudge.

I recently moved to Ecuador from the United States (about a year ago) and it's really difficult sometimes.

I'm planning my own image consulting business,and your inspiring words always make me feel better when I feel like I just can't take it here anymore. This post came at just the right time today, the men in Ecuador are so rude with women walking down the street, whistling and saying rude things, and it really made me sad and angry today, but I read your post and it really brightened my day.So I wanted you to know how much better you made my day :)

I also have my own fashion blog I would love for you to visit at some point when you have timewww.realrunway.blogspot.comHave a beautiful day!

Great post! I really like this one. This is something we all deal with day to day. The world is and has always been stuck with people who are frustrated with their lives and end up taking it out on others. You never know she could have been having a bad day and someone had hurt her. I always thought happiness was contagious and sharing your happiness with others is an important gift you can give to others.Thanks kandee for reminding me of this!!:)Feda http://freespiritnamedfeda.blogspot.com/

I'm struggling with rude people al ot recently and like this post. But the killing people with kindness hasn't worked in my experience. It just makes people think I'm a push over and they can keep being a jerk. Maybe killing people with assertiveness is better. :)

Kandee, I just found you on You Tube and have watched 50 videos so far tonight! I am a fair skinned real red head with green eyes. I was wondering if you maybe could do a video on colors for a redhead or green eyes for an every day fresh look and smokey eye? Also, my eyebrows are right on top of my brow bone and there isn't much space there like yours, any tips? I wasn't sure of the best way to contact you...sorry if this isn't the right place.

OMG I can't believe U were on my blog whhhaaa... I'm doing the cart wheel right now lol jk. But thanks for the sweet comment and it was super fun meeting you. I know you get this a lot, but you're truly amazing and an inspiration to all of us.

I'm not even famous and i get rude comments on my blog from time to time and i just delete and ignore them :)

One of your best posts Kandee!! I was kinda bummed by some rude people today while shopping. It put me out of the mood for the celebratory shopping my sis and I were doing 'cause she just came home after being away for 5 weeks. I pretty much forgot about it, but reading your post made me realize how much I let rude people get at me sometimes. I'm so sensitive sometimes it frustrates me that I let petty people bother me. Thanks for the lift!!

If it's one of the things that I've noticed most, is that a lot of people in the service industry are rude- which I find a little ironic as they are employed to deal specifically with people...I actually went into a bookstore with a gift card of about $30 and while I was there found the Burt's Bees line which I've always wanted to try but never have so I decided to buy it with my gift card. While at the register this 15 year old girl (mind you I'm 22) looked at me and while ringing me up said "wow you don't read much do you?" and I said "excuse me?" and she said "well it's just that you get a gift card to a book store and you spend it all on beauty products."

What I wanted to say was "Well actually, I graduated Magna Cum Laude of my University, and just got offers to 3 top universities who are willing to pay for my Phd- so I'm pretty sure I am more of an avid reader than you are" -but I didn't say any of those things. I simply smiled and said goodbye as I walked away with my beauty products.:)

i love u kandee...you are right .,actually rude people are everywhere.i think death like a dog is more painful than yours.anyway kandee u are right at ur place..I also think that everyone at some point in their day or week, comes across the path of at least one person who is rude to you.

This is SUCH a great post, Kandee! The other day I went to ULTA and my husband was waiting for me in the car. He said he saw an older woman walk up to the door just as five girls arrived at the same time. The older woman opened the door for the girls so they could go in first. My husband noted that none of the girls said thank you to the woman or aknowledge her standing there. One of the girls was texting as she walked in too. I think it's a generational thing and I do include my generation as well. We were left at home as latch key kids with a TV as a babysitter. This new generation has now stopped with alot of face to face communication and just texts and emails. Also parents are so afraid of their children that they don't reprimand or discipline them not to mention they don't want to be parents and they'd rather be friends with their kids. That is not a good foundation for any child.

So back to the rudeness I think this post is great and I hope that man people can use it as inspiration and help when someone is rude to them. I run into rude people all the time and I don't have a thick enough skin to let it roll off of me yet. It does hurt. BUT I will pray about it and keep what you've said here in mind.

Thank you for this post! I will think of it tomorrow, my first day at work after my vacation. I will always think "happy thoughts" from now on and don't let the rude people get to me. Because I have a wonderful life at home, a loving husband, 3 beautiful stepchildren and my little son, sweet as a cupcake! Thank you!

you should be extra kind to them because that makes them even more mad! haha! but sometimes you do have to say something back to them (not necessarily something rude) to put them in their place and let them know that they're being jerks

Kandee, I am a huge fan -- not only do you encourage beauty on the outside (boostin' my confidence for sure), but you preach beauty on the inside. Its so hard to come by with the consistent negativity we all get everyday about our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. We all have bad days sometimes, but you give me faith that there are still really beautiful, kind individuals out there.

But mostly to comment on your #1: I work in that cupcake shop. When I read your blog and saw the pictures, I am devastated to know that they were so rude to you, let alone ANYONE ELSE. They tarnish the business' reputation, as well as all the hard work that I (and so many other amazing people) put into my our jobs to make sure it counts every single day. Their holier-than-thou attitude is not a universal trait. There is no excuse for it, but I am ashamed and apologize for all the negativity you had to endure in such a happy place.

Thank you for being so gracious! If you come back to Seattle, I would treat you to any ol' cupcake you want, any ol' day. The Glaminar looked like a blast! Wished I could've gone! I hope my city has treated you well <3

yay, thank you Kandee. I just had a swarm of trolling comments on my page with some really mean things for the first time. At first i was mad that someone actually could just write that, but then i thought how sad is it to call someone stupid and ugly while they have no pictures of themselves and they dont even have the guts to up theyre name. On the bright side of it though i must of done something right with my blog if i have people hating already. :)

Thank you, Kandee. I work in costomer service and you wouldn't believe how many rude people I encounter daily. I was actually dreading going to work today just for the fact that I don't want to deal with another 'rudy' thank you for your uplifting post. It just what I needed today. :)