Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

I need help NOW! I am FREAKING OUT!!!

This is the worst thing that could ever happen... David's Dad (83) is in the hospital with phamonia, and coughing up blood, he said that he is ready to go. Hospice is coming in today. David is going to freak out. I called the jail, they said that if his Dad when his Dad dies, he will get 1 phone call. And not be able to attend the services. WHAT DO I DO??? How do I tell him? I am freaking out.

that is a really hard situation. A guy my fiance is in with had his mother pass away unexpectedly while he was in. He was not allowed to go to the funeral. It was really hard on him and the family. He would just talk to his sister when he could.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It won't be easy and they sure don't try to make it any easier either.

ooo, thats a tough one... I would tell him whats going on. Just be gentle and honest and stay strong. He's going to need you to be his rock right now. Im sure he will want all the details so call the hospital and get as much info as they will give. Is Dad close? Go visit for David if he is. Im sure David would appreciate it. I'll pray for you guys...

I am so sorry you are going through this...Unfortuneately I had the same situation in June. Badger's father was killed in a horrible truck accident. I had NO clue what to do. I finally gathered myself and called the Prison. Thank God I came up on a compassionate officer and she did everything she could to help me. She had one of the Chaplains contact me for the information and he went to Badger that day with the news. Later that evening another Chaplain from Badger's building called me as well. IF you have time to prepare your husband with this by sending him a letter letting him know that his dad is in fact in the hospital, giving him some of the details, hopefully it wont knock him for such a blow if his father does in fact pass away. I am here if you need to talk. I will do what I can to help you get through this. Hugs and Prayers, Cindy

When my mother passed away last Thanksgiving I was sure my son was going to get into serious trouble because he usually does not handle these feeling issues very well. But he surprised everyone...he called me regularly to check on me and stopped his horrible meds and started living again instead of sleeping his life away.

It was a motivator for him to apply all my mothers counsel that she had tried to really reach him about his meds. Plus he got busy living again. something he had trouble doing since his wife, now ex, since she filed and went thru the divorce ....my point being....that good can come of it and they are stronger than we think...just like us.....we have an image of how we will be when it happens close to home...but we usually surprise ourselves with how well we deal with it.

Death is a very sad fact......but we do live on thru it better than we thought we would.

He makes us strong and we can help others to be that too.

Life is full of horrible situations but we roll with the punches and the slaps in the face too.

The letter is a great idea so he knows what might be coming.

The Chaplain ideas are also good....they sent one to talk with my son several times when my mom died.

The rest is in His hands and in your hubby's with what he does with it.....just remember he will handle it fine after he has a chance to get his mind wrapped around it....and he may get his life quickly in order like my son did.

I am sorry to hear this. A letter is a good idea, unless you talk to him on the phone soon. I, too, would call a chaplain and be ready in case something happens (in case it takes a long time for a chaplain request to go through like everything else...) Good luck to you.
Deanne

Hope all went well as can be expected with your situation. I am in the same boat, my son's father has been in the hospital now for two weeks, he's been fighting cancer for the past two years and not doing so well, he ended up in the hospital a few weeks ago because he was having trouble with his heart. I wrestled with the idea of telling my son, but figured he would hear it from someone else if not me, and then be angry with me for not telling him. I chose to tell him and kinda prepare him for the worse. He is also getting sent out of Alaska, possibly by the end of this month, double whammy! His dad was supposed to come in to see him for a prison potluck, but three days before, he ended up in the hospital. He is now stable but still not out of the woods. I mentioned to my son to write him at the hospital and tell him everything he may have wanted to say to him but didn't, he said he would. I was able to see my son in a contact visit also, and talk to him about his father's illness and the possibility that he may not be around much longer because of his failing health, he cried and I cried and it was a sad experience for the both of us and I really truely dread the day when my phone will ring and that will be that, it is a tough experience to go through and my heart goes out to all who are experiencing this, my prayers are with you as well. Take care of yourself too through all of this. Peace - Roberta

The first thing you need to do is pray, ask god to lead you. Then contact the chaplin with the info and you tell him that he has lived a long and happy life and you only pray that you and him live that long and you will keep him inform. Only God comfort pray...

lot's of good advice. I agree with preparing him, first. My friend is a nurse and when one of her patients is declining, she always calls the family and informs them that there has been a change in their loved-ones condition and then allows the family to make the decision that is right for them.

If you let David know that his dad is hospitalized that may soften and future news and enable him to perhaps write his father.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...

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