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AAAAAAAAAAAA *hyper mode* SURE! Why the heck not. 8DDD Sweet~
Welcome to Squad 4. =D
I'll give you the 5th Seat for now, fine? Then if you feel like you deserve more than that, you could always request for promotion

And oh, as promised *shoves a stash of cookies* Mostly chocolate chips, but a few butter ones I've been making lately. =]

Congradulations to Squad 4...now Blue has two people to harrass with fatal injuries.

Oh, and Color Bleach... You can find some info about it on the Bleach Wiki... It's basically an info book with character stats and stuff, as well as favorite foods and other trivia. There's an entrance exam for the academy in there too. XD

In addition, it contains some color manga which are little side stories, not unlike the ones between chapters in the tankobons. However, some of these relate to the Japan-only videogames. All of them tend to be a bit more structured than the ones between chapters though... Oh, and there's a reversable cover. One side is the regular cover and back cover, with the text "Bleach Official Bootleg Color Bleach Plus" on the cover. The inside flap has a message from Kubo-sensei. The ther side of the sleeve however, has the text "Monthly Seireitei Bulletin Special Edition" as the title... And instead of a message from Kubo-sensei, it's from Yamamoto-soutaichou... It should be noted that on that side, the price is in Kan (the currency in the soul society), whereas the default side lists the price as USA dollars, Canadian dollars, and British pound... Because it's the English edition. XD

It's quite interesting, and I suggest you buy it because there's a lot of cool info and content in there. And it's a nice collector item too. ^_^

Oh, wow, that's really cool. I want one now :3

Spoiler:- Chapter 1:

Originally Posted by Zameric

“Unless I’m wrong, we haven’t had any white sparrows come around these parts in a while.” The Head Captain always tried to keep a light-hearted tone in conversation.

White sparrows?

Originally Posted by Zameric

“Yes, we have been lucky that our elder members have been doing well and the youngsters appear to get stronger with each generation. It does seem as if the flu season has come a little early though. But so far only some elders and children have been bitten by the flu bug.”

“Oh, well that should not cause much concern, right?”

YES YES IT SHOULD

Originally Posted by Zameric

“Aw come on Seijuro, I know you always finish your paperwork fast. It’s been so boring around here lately, that I need someone to fight with.” The battle loving young captain kept slashing at Seijuro Arashi.

“Well go pick on someone else ya little pest!”

“Nope, you’re my victim today!” he said with a sadistic smile.

XD Poor Seijuro.

Originally Posted by Zameric

The two captains flash stepped away leaving their friend to his nap. The captains of Squad 4 and 12 were already at the scene. They were watching the battle from the roof tops while eating cookies and popcorn. Zameric and Senny soon joined the two captains and watched the fight. Seijuro shot them all a glance that said “Why don’t get off your butts and help me?!” But they just smiled back at and waved while they continued to watch the fight from a safe distance.

XD Eating popcorn and watching the fight... Definitely what we'd do

Originally Posted by Zameric

“Ambassador Ishida, there has been a murder in the American Quincy branch!”

8O
Anyway, I assume that he's a decendant of Uryuu?

Well, not much happened... introducing the plot, and some characters.
Though one thing you did was switch between present and past tense. You should just stick to one tense all the time (past, usually).

Originally Posted by arceus03

The battle of the nerds - I mean brains have begun 8D

Yay~

Originally Posted by arceus03

ILPy, you have 300+ posts here. =O
Second was Zam, whose posts were 70 shorter than yours. Seriously, what did you post? XP

XD
Well, I was the second poster in the club, and I like to talk and answer every question even if they aren't directed at me because I'm nosy like that XP

Originally Posted by arceus03

AAAAAAAAAAAA *hyper mode* SURE! Why the heck not. 8DDD Sweet~Welcome to Squad 4. =D
I'll give you the 5th Seat for now, fine? Then if you feel like you deserve more than that, you could always request for promotion

8O
Congrats on the new member! It's about time you got one.

Last edited by I like Pokemon (...); 8th September 2010 at 7:14 PM.

YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
Click HERE to be rickrolled... c'mon, you know you want to. Spoiler:- I HAVE DEFIED ALL MATHS AND LOGIC!:

BTW Slowpoke (lol)... why is Senny's last name "Yamakiri"??? that's my personal alias last name. (Sei Yamakiri, as seen on my MSN address- AS YOU SHOULD KNOW. XD) whyyyy must you use that!!! it's just... distracting!!! ughhhhh
(I mean it's your story and all but stillll I dunno if I can read that without bein' distracted. it's hard enough on this other forum where one user's name is the same as my DA name. D= soooo confusing!!!)

Well I picked Yamakiri for Senny because it meant mountain mist. I never noticed you used that too.
I haven't set a name for you yet, so maybe I'll make you too cousins or something if I get lazy. xD

Originally Posted by I like Pokemon (...)

Spoiler:- Chapter 1:

White sparrows?

8O
Anyway, I assume that he's a decendant of Uryuu?

Well, not much happened... introducing the plot, and some characters.
Though one thing you did was switch between present and past tense. You should just stick to one tense all the time (past, usually).

Spoiler:

The meaning of the names of Uryu's bows usually have sparrow in them. And Quincy wear white outfits.

Why not use "Kiriyama" because it uses the same kanji and it's not confuzzling to meee XD

Oh and Arc... I dont wanna argue but my cookies are made by me. =P I dont buy cheap Squad 4 cookies. XDDDDD

...but seriously slowpoke. CHANGE HIS NAME. D= I'm supposed to be from Rukon anyway so "cousins" wouldn't really work. =P Unless we died together or something but that's not really gonna fit into my profile. (You'll see what I mean...) Which BTW I don't have a FORMAL one but I'm gonna edit a SUMMARY of my character's past into this post. =P And a semiformal profile thingy. =P Will be reposted later when better edited.

And "Sei Yamakiri" has been a name I have been using for YEARS. =PPPPPPPPPP

edit:
CHARACTER INFOZ Spoiler:

Legal name: Sei Yamakiri
Aliases (explained later) : Asuka, Min, Syun
Birthday: May 1 (not MY b-day but it's this character's b-day)
Fave color: Pink
Fave flower: Sakura
Zanpakuto: Tsuyokin (bankai: Kokoro no Tsuyokin)
Fave foods: Noodles (any kind)
Least fave foods: Spicy foods
Background: From Rukon district 3, Entered and graduated from the Academy with top kido marks. Joined the kido corps and rose to 3rd seat. Transferred to squad 5 because they can haz partiez.
Story: Sei was born in the third district of Rukon. She lost her parents to hollows when she was young, and has had strong spiritual power since then. She had a good amount of friends, but they were always pretty calm and... well, boring. At least compared to Sei who was really hyper and literally couldn't sit still. One day when she was around 14 (by appearance), she enrolled in the academy to become part of the 13 court guard squads. Upon graduation, many of the professors reccommended her to join the kido corps. Within a relatively short time (10 years or so), she reached the rank of 3rd seat. Unfortunately, her wish to meet people in the seireitei who were just as hyper as her had not yet come true. After a few more years, she heard of the 5th squad, where there were lots of hyper parties with sugar and stuff. The lieutenant seat happened to be vacant, so with the reccommendations of many, she became the lieutenant of squad 5.
Hobbies: Making sweets (pastries, candies, etc.), Playing practical jokes, performing (dancing and singing), and Giving people strange nicknames.
Elaboration on hobbies:
Making sweets: Sei runs a company that makes home made top quality cakes, cookies, candies, and pastries. The company is called Asuka's Sweets. Her ownership of the company is common knowledge to upper seated members of both squad 5 and the kido corps, however the general public don't know who owns the shop.
Playing practical jokes: On days off, Sei takes new members of squad 5 who want to have some fun, out around the seireitei. Together, they play random practical jokes, because they can. No other reason. She has caused quite a commotion in the past with these pranks, but has never been caught. One thing she always does is leave a note with "MIN WUZ HERE" in magazine-cut letters. She bribes the other members who do pranks with her to not give away her identity, by offering them free sweets from Asuka's.
While living in Rukon, Sei always enjoyed performing for her friends. Even now, she likes to put on shows every now and then, mostly during cherry blossom season. Whenever she visits the world of the living, she always makes sure to check out new music and dance trends to incorporate into her shows. Her stage name is Syun (meaning "spring"), but unlike her other two aliases, this one is common knowledge amongst most everyone in the seireitei. Sei occasionally does concerts for the academy students, as well as for Rukon residents, especially those in the 3rd district.
Giving people strange nicknames: This one's pretty self-explanitory if you keep up with the posts here... It's part of her (and my) "bouncy" nature. =P

ADDING MORE IN A MINUTE... BUT I AM SAVING FOR THE MOMENT COZ MY LAPTOP TENDS TO DIE A LOT. >.<
PROFILE IS DONE. and it seems I wrote a lot more than I expected.... umm I'm gonna edit this even more later on at some point... though I do have to work on an English assignment due Monday. but I'll repost this when I edit things. But the main info will stay. XD

edit again~

oh and just so you know, the times I posted info before this, I knwo some things are different and some are the same. But this is the most up to date and therefore most accurate version of my profile. ^_^

"Aizen, in dire consternation!! Ichigo was thought to have lost his reiatsu, but...?!"
"But" what? This sort of implies that he didn't lose his reiatsu, or that something else also happened.

"Shattered my Kidou" looks like we'll only properly see how he does it in the anime :/

"Abandon your arrogance" Aizen you hypocrite.

I don't think the transformation scene was very clear, but the good thing is that it only took one page; it didn't make the chapter unnecessarily long, but it will at least give the anime a good few minutes of filler.

Okay, let's see. His hand and his sword have become one, which fits with the agglutination of the blade and hand. He has a mask and hollow-mask-like-teeth, a black face and three holes along his torso. His wings have eyes on them, and masks at the end of them. But he keeps his mullet.

I predict that this will be his "Frieza's third stage" or "Cell's second stage". Which basically means that he will digivolve again and have a pretty-boy look.

Dragonball Z like attacks; things that can blow up the planet.
Dragonball Z like battle damage; shirt is obliterated, trousers are fine, burned look on his arm + a few scratches on his torso.

"You have lost that power you once possessed" says who?

That was such a dramatic image, when Ichigo said "Is that all you've got?"

"I'm sick and tired of your logic" That made me lol. I have a feeling Kusari might use it on me when I review his next chapter

And at least we get to see the Final Getsuga Tenshou next chapter. It better be freaking worth it.

I think at this point, I'm going to completely throw away the idea of "he's too powerful". We're now definitely on Dragonball Z level power; where a single fight would be able to blow up a planet. Now while this will make for really dramatic scenes, and plenty of asplosions, it feels like he's trying to make that an excuse for allowing them to get this strong.

Originally Posted by Zameric

Spoiler:

The meaning of the names of Uryu's bows usually have sparrow in them. And Quincy wear white outfits.

Ah, I see.

YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
Click HERE to be rickrolled... c'mon, you know you want to. Spoiler:- I HAVE DEFIED ALL MATHS AND LOGIC!:

Anyway I have a subscription to an on demand thisng called Anime Network on Demand and they have this special show called Bento Beat Box which showcases various Japanese pop and rock music... and I just wanted to plug them coz one of the songs they featured is "Daidai" by Chatmonchy - that song was an ending song for Bleach a little while back... I think it was during the arrancar or hueco mundo arc... something around there I believe. XD

umm I just read ILPEH's spoiler tag thingy
my response to that (and yea i kno i should have responded before but mehhhh) Spoiler:

"Abandon your arrogance" Aizen you hypocrite.

^
|
WIN.

...all the DBZ stuff, I have NO IDEA what the heck you're talking about - I never liked DBZ. and I have nothing against it, but I'm just not a fan of the super muscular type of art and stuff... uhh yeah. bad wording, sorry. but you get my point, right...????? and I'm just not a HUGE fan of the older manga style in general... again, no offense to any artist (mangaka or otherwise) that draws that way. i just have my opinions... so yeah. in short, I'm glad I dont know much about DBZ so that when I read this part of Bleach, I can ENJOY it without COMPARING it to stuff. XD LOL

ANYWAY

That was such a dramatic image, when Ichigo said "Is that all you've got?"

LOL TOTALLY

And at least we get to see the Final Getsuga Tenshou next chapter. It better be freaking worth it.

YARLY. I mean seriously, it's been a great buncha chapters in between the "announcement" (if you can call it that) of the FGT and now, but stillll I wanna see it soo bad!!! it had better be good~~~

As Cameron Blue’s onslaught continued, Seijuro tried to think of a way to escape without having to seriously hurt Blue. He could not outrun the Squad 11 captain, and he was too busy blocking Blue’s strikes to use any Kido. Seijuro also knew that his zanpakuto abilities would not be much help. He decided that he would have to blindside Blue by temporarily over powering him before he had the chance to use shikai. But that is harder than it sounds. Although Cameron Blue is known to be an instinctual fighter, he has the ability to sense danger in battle and act accordingly with remarkable dexterity.

Seijuro waited for the right moment and then amassed his strength. Cameron was intrigued to see what Seijuro was up to and paused to observe. Seijuro became enveloped by a dark blue cloak of spiritual pressure.

“This may smart some Blue, but you left me no choice.” Seijuro twisted his sword so that the blunt edge was front-facing. “Yamatatsu!*”

Cameron barely had enough time to bring up a defensive stance. The force of the strike was strong enough to send the teenage captain into a neighboring wall. A large amount of dust and rubble was expelled when he made contact with the wall. The impact could be heard for several miles in every direction. As the cloud of dust started to dissipate, everyone looked for signs of life. Seijuro’s face turned to shock as he heard coughing and laughing.

Cough cough “Ahahaha, you sure got me there Arashi. Guess I’ll have to take it up a notch now,” Cameron said as he walked out of the dust cloud, brushing off rubble.

“What the hell, you should be knocked out cold after that attack!”

“Ha ha, you think something like that would take me down? But I have to admit that it was stronger than I expected,” he said with grin.

“Ah ****.”

“Well now it’s my turn to attack. I’ll retaliate with twice the force!” Cameron gained his trademark sadistic smile as his spiritual pressure began to rise.

“Ah double ****…”

“Disappear and Reappear, Kag-“

“Bakudo number 61, Rikujokorou!”

Six beams of light pierced Cameron’s midsection in the form of an asterisk and froze his movements. Seijuro and the onlookers turned their heads to see captain of Squad 3, Kida Ookami standing on a nearby rooftop. Kida’s hair seemed to stand up and her tail was erect. In the next instant, she flash stepped in front of Cameron Blue. Cameron’s facial expression looked nervous, if not afraid. Kida raised the boy by his robes so that they were eye to eye.

“Damn it, you little *******. I’m going to be late for my lunch with Dauc because you couldn’t resist whipping out your sword!” The female captain’s fangs were now showing.

Zameric Kajiya and Akira Mizuhashi, captain of Squad 4, couldn’t help but snicker at what Kida had said.

Kida sharply turned her head at the two captains and snarled, “Shut up you two or I’ll kill you!” The two immediately stopped their snickering and retorted as if they were about to be whacked with a rolled up news paper.

“Here Seijuro, he’s yours now. I’ve got more important things to do.” She then threw the young captain to the ground and flash stepped away.

Zameric appeared before Cameron Blue and used Bakudo # 63, Saju Sabaku to tie him up since Kida’s spell would soon wear off.

“Me, Ryuu and Senny’ll go drop Blue off in his barracks. You should have Akira check you for any serious injuries.”

“Hey Zam, what about me?” Cameron asked with a slight frown on his face.

“You’re fine…” the captain said with a lack of empathy.

“Thank you Zameric,” Captain Arashi said as he sat down.

Zameric and the two other captains flash stepped away as the Squad 4 captain began to inspect Captain Arashi.

-----

“What do you mean?!” Ambassador Renjiro was flabbergasted.

“Nicholas Morgan, a Quincy living in America, was found dead in his apartment about 5 hours ago. The police report said that there were several unexplained puncture wounds on his torso, but no signs of forced entry even though the doors and windows were locked,” the messenger reported.

“So the police have no suspects?”

“At this time, no.”

Renjiro just stood there for a few minutes, taking in what he had just heard and thinking about what his next action should be. Once he was done, he instructed the messenger to return to the world of the living and waited for the Kido Corps to prepare the Senkaimon for his return to the real world.

“I am very sorry for your loss Renjiro. I hope this mystery is solved soon.” The Head Captain tried to console his friend.

“So do I Golde. But feel that something is odd about this. I might think he was killed by a hollow, but any hollow strong enough to kill him would have been noticed. And if a hollow had tried to eat him, the body wouldn’t be left behind.”

“Yes, it is strange, but we can’t say yet if this was something spiritual in nature or not.”

“I suppose so, but I cannot shake this feeling I have. I will talk to you again later, Head Captain Golde.”

And with that, the Quincy Ambassador stepped through the Senkaimon with his escorts. Golde waited for his lieutenant to return through the Senkaimon before walking back to his office. Golde was troubled by the incident, but put it in the back of his mind since he had more important duties. The Head Captain pulled a lollipop out of his pocket, put it in his mouth, and got to work on the stack of papers on his desk.

-----

As Kida Ookami approached the manor of Narcisse Dauc she slowed her step. Narcisse Dauc was the captain of Squad 12 and head of the Research and Development Department before the current captain, Ryuu Schiffer. Narcisse retired several decades ago and now serves as the head of the Royal Dauc family. He is a tall man, one of the only men on par with the Head Captain. He is usually always seen wearing brilliant purple robes and still carries his zanpakuto with him.

As Kida walked through the manor, she couldn’t help but notice how…empty it felt. It was not rare to see the family members missing, but usually their servants are about, performing their duties. She decided to check the back gardens, since Dauc frequented them often. Kida noticed a small crowd in the courtyard and approached to see what was going on. The crowd consisted of mainly maids and female Soul Reapers, standing in a crescent formation.

Kida worked her way through the crowd to come upon a sight she had not expected. Narcisse Dauc, Squad 6 Captain Jordan Michishige, and Squad 5 Captain Dre Funeno were all shirtless and striking poses to show-off their forms. Woos and whistles of several women were heard, along with a pretty boy Soul Reaper yelling Go Captain!

“W-what the hell are you three doing?!” Kida demanded an answer with an embarrassed tone of voice.

Everyone stopped to look at Kida, which made her feel a bit nervous.

“Ah, mon amie**, good to see you here. We were just having a contest of masculinity, which originally started as an argument. But it soon gathered the following you see before us and the rest is history.” Dauc explained with an eccentric tone.

“We tried to invite a few others to participate, like Zameric and Seijuro, but they were too busy,” added Dre.

“Only you could come up with something like this, Nancy.” Kida’s mood appeared to have changed to somewhat annoyed. “Now put your shirts back on so we can have lunch.”

“But the contest isn’t over mon amie. This panel of lovely ladies was about to pick the winner.” Dauc stroke another pose, which caused a reaction from crowd.

“Oh, it’s over alright.” Kida cracked her knuckles and showed Narcisse Dauc what she thought about his contest.

-----

* = (mountain sever/cut) A two handed, horizontal sword strike of great force and speed.
** = mon amie (my friend) An informal French phrase, kind of like buddy/pal.

Anyway I have a subscription to an on demand thisng called Anime Network on Demand and they have this special show called Bento Beat Box which showcases various Japanese pop and rock music... and I just wanted to plug them coz one of the songs they featured is "Daidai" by Chatmonchy - that song was an ending song for Bleach a little while back... I think it was during the arrancar or hueco mundo arc... something around there I believe. XD

Remind me to subscribe to them when I get sound back (and you WILL know when I get sound back).

Originally Posted by minchan

Spoiler:

...all the DBZ stuff, I have NO IDEA what the heck you're talking about - I never liked DBZ. and I have nothing against it, but I'm just not a fan of the super muscular type of art and stuff... uhh yeah. bad wording, sorry. but you get my point, right...????? and I'm just not a HUGE fan of the older manga style in general... again, no offense to any artist (mangaka or otherwise) that draws that way. i just have my opinions... so yeah. in short, I'm glad I dont know much about DBZ so that when I read this part of Bleach, I can ENJOY it without COMPARING it to stuff. XD LOL

Spoiler:

You, too, have no childhood*shot*

Anyway, well, yeah, you're entitled to your own opinion of what kinds of manga you like or don't like, there's no need to apologise.

And for those of you who have seen DBZ, it can be really easy to find similarites XD
Father and son train in a place where time and space moves differently to that on earth. Son becomes stronger than father. Villain aspires to reach the "ultimate" form (perfect form, or God form). Villain transforms during the fight. Son beats villain using a technique that his dad taught him.

For those of you who can't remember, I'm talking about Goku, Gohan and Cell.

Spoiler:- Chapter 2:

Originally Posted by Zameric

As Cameron Blue’s onslaught continued, Seijuro tried to think of a way to escape without having to seriously hurt Blue. He could not outrun the Squad 11 captain, and he was too busy blocking Blue’s strikes to use any Kido. Seijuro also knew that his zanpakuto abilities would not be much help. He decided that he would have to blindside Blue by temporarily over powering him before he had the chance to use shikai. But that is harder than it sounds. Although Cameron Blue is known to be an instinctual fighter, he has the ability to sense danger in battle and act accordingly with remarkable dexterity. Seijuro waited for the right moment and then amassed his strength. Cameron was intrigued to see what Seijuro was up to and paused to observe. Seijuro became enveloped by a dark blue cloak of spiritual pressure.

Something that stood out rather strongly to me was how the sentences were structed:
Cameron did this.
Seijuro did that.
Cameron did this.
Seijuro did that.
Try making your sentence structure more varied; use more "-ing" verbs to start your sentence, and pronouns, and descriptive nouns (the shorter boy, the older captain, etc.)

Originally Posted by Zameric

Six beams of light pierced Cameron’s midsection in the form of an asterisk and froze his movements. Seijuro and the onlookers turned their heads to see captain of Squad 3, Kida Ookami standing on a nearby rooftop. Kida’s hair seemed to stand up and her tail was erect. In the next instant, she flash stepped in front of Cameron Blue. Cameron’s facial expression looked nervous, if not afraid. Kida raised the boy by his robes so that they were eye to eye.

I feel very fearful for him.

Originally Posted by Zameric

Zameric Kajiya and Mizuhashi Akira, captain of Squad 4, couldn’t help but snicker at what Kida had said.

I'm ashamed to say, I did too.

Originally Posted by Zameric

“Nicholas Morgan, a Quincy living in America, was found dead in his apartment about 5 hours ago. The police report said that there were several unexplained puncture wounds on his torso, but no signs of forced entry even though the doors and windows were locked,” the messenger reported.

Is Nicholas Morgan an actual person/character?

Oh, also, I'm predicting that it's something along the lines of a rogue Shinigami. Possibly something to do with the cold that going around; I immediately think of some kind of Vizard-infection of sorts, or perhaps another kind of Hollow-Shinigami hybrid (Hollow like thinking; feeding on people, but with a zanpakutou, or a sword of sorts).

Originally Posted by Zameric

The crowd consisted of mainly maids and female Soul Reapers, standing in a crescent formation.

This will not be good.

Originally Posted by Zameric

Narcisse Dauc, Squad 6 Captain Jordan Michishige, and Squad 5 Captain Dre Funeno were all shirtless and striking poses to show-off their forms. Woos and whistles of several women were heard, along with two Soul Reapers that cheered Go Captain at the same time and started to argue who’s captain was better.

Something tells me MC will not like how you portrayed him XD
Though at the same time, I can definitely imagine Da.c doing that.

Oh, also, yeah, Eid Mubarak and all that jazz. *Hunts for Ed's candy*

Last edited by I like Pokemon (...); 10th September 2010 at 11:25 AM.

YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
Click HERE to be rickrolled... c'mon, you know you want to. Spoiler:- I HAVE DEFIED ALL MATHS AND LOGIC!:

if u dont change that name... well this isnt a threat or anything, but i'll be too distracted to read your story. im not even exaggerating - i'm serious... i get like that... it's kinda... awkward. and i would like to read it... well w/e but i'm just letting you know my opinion and such... i do think the plot is interesting though..........

oh and btw its not just your story. it's a lot of things..... i tend to have trouble reading or following (in general) anything that has my aliases in them, intended or otherwise, because it just makes me think too hard about things and such... yeah i know i'm kinda strange but it's how i am, sooo...........

oh and ilpehhh it's not a youtube channel or anything. it's anime network on demand which is available on certain digital cable providers for a fee. (about 7 USD per month i think) well anyway it's still worth checking out anime network's website... just google them. they have an online player too, so..........

anyway, later today i have an assignment to do so i wont be online too much later today. (like 5pm-7pm-ish eastern)......yeah just letting u kno. ^_^

Something that stood out rather strongly to me was how the sentences were structed:
Cameron did this.
Seijuro did that.
Cameron did this.
Seijuro did that.
Try making your sentence structure more varied; use more "-ing" verbs to start your sentence, and pronouns, and descriptive nouns (the shorter boy, the older captain, etc.)I don't think it was all that bad, except maybe I could have used their actual names less.
My English teacher, in college, told us to try to not use -ing words as much. xD

I'm ashamed to say, I did too.Yay, it worked. ;p

Is Nicholas Morgan an actual person/character?No, just a name I made up from other random people.

Oh, also, I'm predicting that it's something along the lines of a rogue Shinigami. Possibly something to do with the cold that going around; I immediately think of some kind of Vizard-infection of sorts, or perhaps another kind of Hollow-Shinigami hybrid (Hollow like thinking; feeding on people, but with a zanpakutou, or a sword of sorts).Eeeeeehhh...maybe, maybe not.

My replies are in bold.

Originally Posted by minchan

im angry slowpoke. u stil stole my name. D=

if u dont change that name... well this isnt a threat or anything, but i'll be too distracted to read your story. im not even exaggerating - i'm serious... i get like that... it's kinda... awkward. and i would like to read it... well w/e but i'm just letting you know my opinion and such... i do think the plot is interesting though..........

e.e It's not like I meant to use the same name on purpose. It just popped into my head back when I was making my Ryoko Redux Arc. Is it so bad being Senny's pretend counsin? xD

edit
OMG I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING
slowpoke stole two things now!!! the club frm golde and my name from me. XD XD XD XD XD FAILLLLLLl

...*ahem*

but stillll do something about the name. i can even help u think of a name if u need but stillllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Alright, I tried to be tolerant and understanding of you at first. But you just kept nagging and nagging. And then I saw the PM you sent, and that miffed me a little bit, but I was willing to move on and changed the name just to shut you up. But now this post is the last straw. Anyone here could tell you that I am one of the hardest captains to piss off, but you have done it, and you will feel my wrath.

I did not steal your name or anything else!

And now I'm going to go change Senny's last name back...and some other things.

Zameric; XD damn, you made me sound quite posh - Late for Lunch with Da.c ... can we have peppermint tea as well? 8D - My reaction to the Man Off contest at the end was perfect, not to mention my little spaz at Cameron >]

im angry slowpoke. u stil stole my name. D=

if u dont change that name... well this isnt a threat or anything, but i'll be too distracted to read your story. im not even exaggerating - i'm serious... i get like that... it's kinda... awkward. and i would like to read it... well w/e but i'm just letting you know my opinion and such... i do think the plot is interesting though..........

Yeah it is. D=
Because my character isn't supposed to have family.
She's so carefree just because she doesn't have a family.

Well, when you write YOUR fanfic you can be an orphan. It's Zameric's FanFic, he can do what ever he likes with it, it's called Artistic License.
Please stop being so immature in future, it's really starting to grate me, and i'm one of the most tolerant members in this club. Thank you.

Zameric, if I had been you, i would have kept the name, it's called Fan Fiction for a reason, but you have decided to take the moral high ground, so kudos to you =]

Spoiler:- manga:

Is it me or has Ichigo's IQ points suddenly shot up? ... Aizen has gained another level, Aizen learned Scream of Fury.

I think Aizen might have broken a few vocal chords with that scream of fury, Chapter Page = Big Eye ... O.O
Aizen is Evolving, Aizen has evolved to Butterfly Squid ... seriously what IS that thing?

Goddmoddy powers no longer amaze, he's going to have to raise the bar at some point, or add more gore.

Wow we might actually see the Final Tetsuga ... i bet it'll involve having half of Ichigo's clothes removed >.>

Zanpaktou Spirit: Shinkiro's spirit is that of Garuda. Garuda is a hindu diety with the body of a man, large wings and the beak and tail feathers of a hawk. The wings and tail feathers are scarlet and look as if they are flaming. The body shines in golden light. still reffered to as Oto.

Inner World: clearing in a forest. lake with a rock in the middle. Oto meditates on the rock. giant cliff behind lake. waterfall flows over the cliff into the lake.

Release Command: Susurrate

Shikai Details: a machete with a 1' 6" blade. the non-cutting edge is gold. a groove runs along the non-cutting edge for draining blood.

AbilitiesShi Dageki (Four Strikes): I manifest three clones and we strike from all sides.Juugun Ooi (Perfect Cloak): A thick fog surrounds the battlefield. (active from release)Kiri Utsushi (Mist Clone): I can create up to three clones from mist. however when they attack or are attacked, they instantly dissipate.

Bankai Name: Jaaku Shinkiro (Wicked Mirage)

Bankai Details: a nodaichi, cutting edge to just above mid-blade is black. from black to non-cutting edge is gold.

AbilitiesEnmu Kakkou (Haze Form): To avoid energy based attacks i can turn my body to a mist.Shisei-ken (Four Holy Swords): A blade extends from the mist to the left, right, front and back of the opponent, impaling them though the torso.

ther it is.

PRETEND THERE IS A SIGNATURE HERE FULL OF WITTY JOKES AND CLAIMS TO FAME AND UNDESERVED BRAVADO AND SELF PROMOTION

Is it me or has Ichigo's IQ points suddenly shot up? ... Aizen has gained another level, Aizen learned Scream of Fury.

Aizen is Evolving, Aizen has evolved to Butterfly Squid ... seriously what IS that thing?

Wow we might actually see the Final Tetsuga ... i bet it'll involve having half of Ichigo's clothes removed >.>

I'm no off to make Pizza with my mother, toodles. =D

Spoiler:

He's just not being an idiot, that's all.

Also, XD

He's a Tentaquil.

I'm expecting some ripped clothing in this fight, actually.

Besides Soul Reaper/Arrancar/Vizard, what spiritual being would you want to be?
Well, besides the ones in the topic, as well as Hollows, Bounts and Quincies (and Zanpakutou at a stretch), what else is left?

Originally Posted by kusari

I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Fire zanpakuto's are a bit overrated. so i have created a new zan i'm hoping to have approved.

That's good. Too many Zans of one type gets boring.

Spoiler:- new zan:

Originally Posted by kusari

Type: mist/illusion (but not Aizen godmod illusion)

After reading through it, it's not really an "illusion" type. Google defines illusion as: "an erroneous mental representation", which your Zanpakutou does not do (except for clones, more on them later).

Originally Posted by kusari

Release Command: Susurrate

Which means what?

Originally Posted by kusari

Shi Dageki (Four Strikes): I manifest three clones and we strike from all sides.

You say that, is it just like "3 more of me appear for this one strike" or is it "3 more appear, our tactic is attacking from all sides"?
If the latter, then I will Ninja Blue and say that clones are going to be pretty damn overpowered. In fights, all you have to do is pull a "YOU HIT MY CLONE LOL" and your opponent will be weakened, and you will be normal health.
Unless there are some limitations (which you should edit for, if there are), then it will be too powerful. If they're like Naruto's Shadow Clones, or maybe your strength is split between the 4 of you?

Kiri Utsushi (Mist Clone): I can create up to three clones from mist. however when they attack or are attacked, they instantly dissipate.

I think this is at least more acceptable (if not entirely), especially if there's a limit to how many you can make (like if it drains up some reiatsu, or there's a limited amount clones you can make, as I'm assuming that it's 3 at a time, and not 3 per release or something).

Originally Posted by kusari

Enmu Kakkou (Haze Form): To avoid energy based attacks i can turn my body to a mist.

Will this block physical hits, or can you still be hit by those?

Originally Posted by kusari

ther it is.

It's cool, and definitely more unique than a fire type. I like it, though I think perhaps being slightly more specific with your abilities would make it easier to understand.

YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
Click HERE to be rickrolled... c'mon, you know you want to. Spoiler:- I HAVE DEFIED ALL MATHS AND LOGIC!:

Alright, I tried to be tolerant and understanding of you at first. But you just kept nagging and nagging. And then I saw the PM you sent, and that miffed me a little bit, but I was willing to move on and changed the name just to shut you up. But now this post is the last straw. Anyone here could tell you that I am one of the hardest captains to piss off, but you have done it, and you will feel my wrath.

I did not steal your name or anything else!

And now I'm going to go change Senny's last name back...and some other things.

oh come on geez

i posted that before i got your replies. D=

check the time stamp??

...seriously though. i was only half serious about the "stealing" part. =P
take a joke? i mean come on. you know me. -.-;;

@nl
i understand what your saying but i'm just pointing out that *i think* he should have known that was my name because he has my msn which contains that name.

ok but anyway i know i was a bit pushy and i'm sorry guys. ok?

but regardless, i still think he should have checked the timestamp on the posts. -.-;;

anyway do what you want with your fanfiction... but i am sorry, but i honestly cant read stuff that distracts me so much. ok? i'm not kidding about that at all. i'm kinda strange when it comes to that stuff but it's how i am.

anyway i'm sorry for causing a commotion. i guess i'm just a bit too stubborn for my own good. =P (gotta work on that)

well i just wanna request that you dont use my character too much in your fanfiction, please because i would at least like to reserve my right to have my character not be in certain works. i know you didnt put her in yet anyway but i'm just saying... i think it's fair enough to ask for MY character not to be used in YOUR fic. no offense. just... saying. and umm... if you WANT to use my character, you can, but just use the old design of "Min Kazami" then, ok?? if you want to use her at all.

again i didn't mean to be rude or anything. i'm reallllly sorry for pushing you guys the wrong way.

oh yeah and in response to the manga comments: Spoiler:

Ichigo DOES seem smarter... I can't believe I totally didn't notice that until you mentioned it. =P

Aizen can only evolve so much....... -.-;;

Ok well umm I wanna bring it up again because not many people replied to what i said a while ago...

I'm really bad at writing fanfictions on my own. See, I tend to have great plot ideas and whatnot but formatting and such is a really hard thing for me to do. This is why English is my weakest subject in school...

Anyway my point is that I'd like to start a collaboration fic with some people. I'm NOT saying this due to the recent events just now, because I posted about this a while ago, and I wanted to do this for a while. Anyway, it's perfectly okay if you don't want to. But if you're at all interested, or even intrigued about the idea in itself, PLEASE send me a PM. thanks. ^^

OMG I'm sorry guys, this post is getting so long... I started rambling again... oops~

but i guess I'll stop typing for now... besides, bleach is on in less than half an hour. so i'll be watching that. Ruri~~ <3

After reading through it, it's not really an "illusion" type. Google defines illusion as: "an erroneous mental representation", which your Zanpakutou does not do (except for clones, more on them later).I had it more illusion based but it seemed too much like Ichinose's, just without the light.

Which means what?
to make a soft rustling sound

You say that, is it just like "3 more of me appear for this one strike" or is it "3 more appear, our tactic is attacking from all sides"?
If the latter, then I will Ninja Blue and say that clones are going to be pretty damn overpowered. In fights, all you have to do is pull a "YOU HIT MY CLONE LOL" and your opponent will be weakened, and you will be normal health.
Unless there are some limitations (which you should edit for, if there are), then it will be too powerful. If they're like Naruto's Shadow Clones, or maybe your strength is split between the 4 of you?the clones are just like ones below. once they make physical contact or are hit physically they fade. so as soon as they make contact they disappear. they're basically to make the enemy think they're being stabbed from all sides when only I actually hit them.

Shouldn't that have gone first?probably, but i don't prioritize.

I think this is at least more acceptable (if not entirely), especially if there's a limit to how many you can make (like if it drains up some reiatsu, or there's a limited amount clones you can make, as I'm assuming that it's 3 at a time, and not 3 per release or something).it can be up to three but no more than three. because of the power needed to sustain the clones only six (ie. two sets of three) can be created during each release of the sword.

Will this block physical hits, or can you still be hit by those? physical hits can still hurt, as well as energy hits i don't see coming.

It's cool, and definitely more unique than a fire type. I like it, though I think perhaps being slightly more specific with your abilities would make it easier to understand.did i make it specific enough now.
[/spoiler]

here is the next chapter. in reviews could i ask you guys to tell me what you think of the title. TV-Tropes said chapter title, the weird ones like Satan From Orbit, would sound cool as band names. so i found sites that had odd band names and found one i liked. so yeah.

also Flash Step is in this chapter. i don't have a profile to refer to so i just winged it for now. please correct me if i'm wrong.

Min you're in it too but in your profile there was no hair color so again I winged it. i also used the same last name for Senny that Zam used so i went back and changed your's to Kazami like you said to.

heads up: in this chapter Dauc flips the fuk out. and ILP and MC, don't say anything about what Dauc does to MC in this chapter.
All this happens during Zoma and Kida's fight.

Eon: if ILP asks for the translation of German phrases in this chapter, you have to give them.

Spoiler:- Chapter 13: Baptism By Puncture Wound:

Dauc and Jordan sprinted across the wasteland of Hueco Mundo. A hollow kidnapped Kida. They had to get her back. That's all they cared about.

"Kida!" Dauc yelled, going faster, pulling ahead.

"Damn it." Jordan muttered to himself. He shunpo-ed up and grabbed the former captain by the back of his shihakusho. "You impulsive *******. She's strong. She can take care of herself. We don't need to rush and save her."

"You don't get it." He whipped around. "The hollow she was fighting was number four. It was the same hollow that beat and captured Hayashi and it was effortlessly killed by another."

"Yeah it was killed by taking a sword through the back. An attack it never saw coming."

Silence fell between them. They stood like that for nearly two minutes. Dauc delivered a sharp right hook to Jordan's right cheek. The sixth captain fell straight into the sand. The unexpected punch knocked him out cold.

"Sorry. But I have to save her." Dauc flash stepped away.

----------

"C'mon Brak let's have a little fun." Blue gave a wide toothy grin.

"Heh heh." Brak laughed and gave an impressed smile. Maybe this kid isn't as week as I thought.

"Oh well. If your not coming I will." Blue jumped with Kagebu ready to stab.

Brak reached out and clutched his left hand around the dark sword. "Gotcha kid."

"Because I've got the backing of the entire Royal Guard. The man I've brought will be made captain and anyone he brings with him will be given postions in the squad. No questions asked." A sneer spread.

"I can't just appoint this guy. It would break rules and tradition."

"You'll appoint him. No questions asked. No resistance. Hideo, give him the order."

The first son pulled a scroll from his robes and handed it to Golde. "You'll find it has been signed by fifteen members of central 46, all captains of the guard and a high ranking member of the Kajiya clan." Hideo said.

"So it's iron-clad?"

"Yes sir."

"Fine. Have your guy show up tomorrow at six a.m. sharp."

"Thank you for your compliance." Hideo thanked Golde.

"Let's go." Masanori commanded. He vanished, followed by the brothers.

"You just agreed so easily?!" Dre yelled.

"I had to. There was no other choice." His eyes shifted back to the sky. If they went through all that, just to get that guy in, nothing good can come of it.

-------------

"Takeo?" Akane asked.

"What is it?"

"Why do you care about me and Saiga so much?"

"Because you're my brother and sister. The rest may hate you but I don't."

Akane stopped suddenly. Takeo stopped and changed direction. He stood by his sister. It began to rain. A light rain. A real rain.

She wrapped her arms around him. Tears were streaming from her eyes. Like rain.

"Thank you." She sobbed. "I thought I was the only one who cared about him."

"No problem. Now let go so we can get out of this rain." They quickly moved on to the thirteenth baracks.

Soon after the siblings arrived at their brother's office. Takeo slid the doors open. "What the hell?!" The doors opened to an office with empty liquor bottles strewn about. At the opposite side was a desk, stacked high with paperwork. A man with navy blue hair was asleep at the amidst the clutter.

Akane and Takeo waded through mess towards the man. Akane shook him awake. "Who the hell are you?" She inquired.

"I'm Katsu Umino. Third seat of squad 13. Captain Hayashi is away at the moment and I'm stuck doing his paperwork."

"Well when is he..." A small black swallowtail landed on her shoulder. "Damn."

"Let's go Akane." He brother said.

"Damn." She cursed again.

They flash stepped away.

Damn it. Where is he? Akane thought.

remember Eon: german translations are your's.

PRETEND THERE IS A SIGNATURE HERE FULL OF WITTY JOKES AND CLAIMS TO FAME AND UNDESERVED BRAVADO AND SELF PROMOTION

I had it more illusion based but it seemed too much like Ichinose's, just without the light.

Ah, okay. Well, with the clones being illusion-based, I guess it makes more sense.

Originally Posted by kusari

the clones are just like ones below. once they make physical contact or are hit physically they fade. so as soon as they make contact they disappear. they're basically to make the enemy think they're being stabbed from all sides when only I actually hit them.

Hmm.... That's fine by me, I guess. Though Blue may or may not still have some complaints.

Originally Posted by kusari

it can be up to three but no more than three. because of the power needed to sustain the clones only six (ie. two sets of three) can be created during each release of the sword.

Again, yeah, this is fine by me.

Originally Posted by kusari

did i make it specific enough now.

Yup, looks good to me.

Originally Posted by kusari

here is the next chapter. in reviews could i ask you guys to tell me what you think of the title. TV-Tropes said chapter title, the weird ones like Satan From Orbit, would sound cool as band names. so i found sites that had odd band names and found one i liked. so yeah.

They're right.

Originally Posted by kusari

heads up: in this chapter Dauc flips the fuk out. and ILP and MC, don't say anything about what Dauc does to MC in this chapter.

I'll comment on it anyway.

Originally Posted by kusari

All this happens during Zoma and Kida's fight.

A note, the way it was written suited and fit it, definitely. Very anime like, where you have small clips of scenes going on at the same time happening one after the other.

Originally Posted by kusari

Eon: if ILP asks for the translation of German phrases in this chapter, you have to give them.

Which I do Why not just have them written at the end of the post? Spoiler:- Chapter 13: Baptism By Puncture Wound:

Originally Posted by kusari

Dauc and Jordan sprinted across the wasteland of Hueco Mundo. A hollow kidnapped Kida. They had to get her back. That's all they cared about.

Originally Posted by kusari

Silence fell between them. They stood like that for nearly two minutes. Dauc delivered a sharp right hook to Jordan's right cheek. The sixth captain fell straight into the sand. The unexpected punch knocked him out cold.

"Sorry. But I have to save her." Dauc flash stepped away.

I can't say that I was initially shocked Though it wasn't as bad as I thought but after looking at the situation more clearly, it definitely fits in and makes sense.

Dauc obvioulsy really cares for Kida, and wants to protect her no matter what- if she does die, then it will be on his conscience for the rest of his life. Jordan was getting in his way, stopping him from saving her, and the only way to stop him, would be to knock him out cold.

It suits Dauc's personality.I'm trying to start using fic names in reviews.

Originally Posted by kusari

"C'mon Brak let's have a little fun." Blue gave a wide toothy grin.

"Heh heh." Brak laughed and gave an impressed smile. Maybe this kid isn't as week as I thought.

Oh, yeah, he's definitely more Wednesday than Friday. I felt like taking the piss a bit XP

Which one? There are 4 men (not including the dad) so which one will be Captain?

Originally Posted by kusari

"Because I've got the backing of the entire Royal Guard. The man I've brought will be made captain and anyone he brings with him will be given postions in the squad. No questions asked." A sneer spread.

"I can't just appoint this guy. It would break rules and tradition."

"You'll appoint him. No questions asked. No resistance. Hideo, give him the order."

The first son pulled a scroll from his robes and handed it to Golde. "You'll find it has been signed by fifteen members of central 46, all captains of the guard and a high ranking member of the Kajiya clan." Hideo said.

"So it's iron-clad?"

"Yes sir."

Now, normally, I'd be trying to find holes in how this works, as you sure as hell know already. There's no way that the Captain Commander has enough power to overrule everyone who signed it.

Originally Posted by kusari

"I had to. There was no other choice." His eyes shifted back to the sky. If they went through all that, just to get that guy in, nothing good can come of it.

That is so true.

Originally Posted by kusari

Soon after the siblings arrived at their brother's office. Takeo slid the doors open. "What the hell?!" The doors opened to an office with empty liquor bottles strewn about. At the opposite side was a desk, stacked high with paperwork. A man with navy blue hair was asleep at the amidst the clutter.

This made me LOL.

Originally Posted by kusari

"Well when is he..." A small black swallowtail landed on her shoulder. "Damn."

I don't quite understand what happened here. You usually don't write information unless it's somewhat necessary, so what's up with the swallowtail?

Last edited by I like Pokemon (...); 12th September 2010 at 11:32 AM.

YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
Click HERE to be rickrolled... c'mon, you know you want to. Spoiler:- I HAVE DEFIED ALL MATHS AND LOGIC!:

Ah, okay. Well, with the clones being illusion-based, I guess it makes more sense.ok then.

Hmm.... That's fine by me, I guess. Though Blue may or may not still have some complaints.i'll burn that bridge when i get to it.

Again, yeah, this is fine by me.good.

Yup, looks good to me.good

They're right.Yep. and i've got 14 more.

I'll comment on it anyway.
[B]i knew you would.[B]

A note, the way it was written suited and fit it, definitely. Very anime like, where you have small clips of scenes going on at the same time happening one after the other.plot device.

Which I do Why not just have them written at in the post?just for you, i'll put them in.

Spoiler:- Chapter 13: Baptism By Puncture Wound:

I can't say that I was initially shocked Though it wasn't as bad as I thought but after looking at the situation more clearly, it definitely fits in and makes sense.

Dauc obvioulsy really cares for Kida, and wants to protect her no matter what- if she does die, then it will be on his conscience for the rest of his life. Jordan was getting in his way, stopping him from saving her, and the only way to stop him, would be to knock him out cold.

It suits Dauc's personality.I trying to start using fic names in reviews.i was addressing the fact that Jordan gets knocked out and left in the middle of Hueco all alone.

Oh, yeah, he's definitely more Wednesday than Friday. I felt like taking the piss a bit XPwhat the hell does that mean?

Wait, what happened to him again?Not quite sure. As of right now he's MIA and the members of the club I've never met are out on missions. Like FS was up until this point.

Which one? There are 4 men (not including the dad) so which one will be Captain?None of the brothers, Akane or Masanori. That guy comes a six a.m. sharp tomorrow.

Now, normally, I'd be trying to find holes in how this works, as you sure as hell know already. There's no way that the Captain Commander has enough power to overrule everyone who signed it. I knew. and I craftily prevented it.

That is so true.Mainly because that action was setting the next arc in motion.

This made me LOL.Oddly this guy never makes another appearance.

I don't quite understand what happened here. You usually don't write information unless it's somewhat necessary, so what's up with the swallowtail?That was Daddy's swallowtail saying "Time to leave weakling."

And on a final closing note i will be announcing the titles of the chapters for the rest of this arc.

14. The Legend of Danger and Solstice
15. Swan Songs of the Weeping Willow
16. A Life Spent Learning

PRETEND THERE IS A SIGNATURE HERE FULL OF WITTY JOKES AND CLAIMS TO FAME AND UNDESERVED BRAVADO AND SELF PROMOTION

Silence fell between them. They stood like that for nearly two minutes. Dauc delivered a sharp right hook to Jordan's right cheek. The sixth captain fell straight into the sand. The unexpected punch knocked him out cold.

"Sorry. But I have to save her." Dauc flash stepped away.

He'll be my knight in shining bloody armor XD

Just popping in, my final year of school has started so I'm pretty busy most of the time.

Soooo how is everyone doint this weekend? lol Im really tired so im about to go to sleep..been up all nite so here is my present from me to you..hope you like

Spoiler:- Profile:

Name: Dre Flashy/Insane/Funeno dont mind if you call me either
Gender: Male
Rank/Squad: Captain of Squad 5
Zanpakto: Kitsune Na Hii
Blood group: A+
Personality: Usually Calm and to myself even tho i love to party...its complicated, Very hard to get me mad but when i do its definately not a good thing. Love to spar with friends though. And drink :-) Also Lazy
Battle style: Dont really like to fight ppl i dont have to but calm minded when fighting. Love to use Kido to combine with and boost my attacks and to create openings. I use my speed to my best ability
Backstory: Also part of a Noble Family. Parents wanted me to train, do school work and learn about our family history all at the same time. It was quite frustrating and i barely had anytime to play with friends which were MC, and Dauc at the time.
As i got older and was placed in Squad 5 i knew that this was the squad for me. I worked hard to impress my captain and Lt. while also trying to impress my family to let them know i was working hard to withhold our family name. As i moved up in ranks and became Lt so did MC and Dauc. we were all proud and swore we would all make captains soon.
As years past Dauc was the first to make captain then me and lastly MC. Once we made captain i stated throwing parties Dauc became obsessed with his looks and trying to win over...annnyway and MC became obsessed with trying to surpass me as a fire user. But my Zan and I have a Hidden Training Area that allows us to hone our skills and learn new techniques.
Thats about it really nothing special about my past.

Zanpaktou

Zanpaktou Name: Kitsune Na Hii (FireFox)
Type: Fire/Lightning

Release Command: Kogemasu zenbu (Burn Everything)

Manifested Form: Fox

Sword Description: A Katana
Spirit: Kitsune Na Hii’s a fox with it's tail, ears, and feet on fire, the eyes are red.
The body of the whole fox is white.

Shikai Information: The fire completely covers the sword except for the hilt. At the end of the hilt there is a red ball that is stored with a massive amount of energy that is only to be used for my bankai's true form. In Shikai form the flames I conjure up are red.

[Battle Data]
While in Shikai I am more of a distant fighter..using my attacks from a distance trying to figure out my opponents moves, strategy, and fighting style

[Techniques]
OLD
Arashi (Cyclone)
While spinning in the air, i release fire reiatsu so it forms into an high speed spinning cyclone diving into my target
Netsu Taihoo (Heat Cannon)
As I create a flaming circle I then shoot a blast of fire
Ryuusei Shawaa (Meteor Shower)
Flaming balls of fire raining down on my target..size may vary
Also Has a secret technique called…
Hinote Bookyaku (Flames of Oblivion)
Red and Black flames with devastating power able to engulf anything..also available in Bankai only the flames are blue

Bankai Information:

Name: Tengoku Mizuiro Kitsune na hii (Heavenly Blue Firefox)
Type: Fire/Lightning
Bankai Information: This sword is completely different in length, the hilt is all black and the sword has little a simulated black ivory grip. If you are cut by this sword that part of your body will feel cold for 5 seconds, then become very hot and painful. Lightning is also available from causing friction in the air.

This sword also has an incantation written on it (the red power ball I mentioned earlier was fused with these words). These words only the master of this sword can chant. When said the true power of this sword will be shown allowing the fox to come out and merge with it's master covering the person in blue flame, giving the user wings. While in this form the user has incredible power that can burn even the air. He’s also able to create a friction causing lightning to come forth. Being able to use lightning attacks freely.

Also the wielder is able to freely control fire being able to shoot fire from his hands. The sword is then turned into a spear looking weapon used for close combat if the opponent can get that close.Some of you may remember that this form drains a lot of energy and after I would be able to move for 12hrs..ive trained to to fix those flaws and now it only excausts me a lot but im still able to move..a little and depending on my energy before the merge depends on the time spend in this form

Well this is all I have for now if I have to edit then I will im really sleep now..i stayed up all nite jus to finish this so if some of it sounds weird or something then let me know I will fix it or make it better I take constructive criticism very well so hit me with all you’ve got

Last edited by Flash_Step; 19th September 2010 at 12:42 AM.

Captain of Squad 5 Where Fire Rages on and Battles Are Won
So Join THE BLEACH CLUB

Only one correction on your German. When you say "Zeit für den Tod", you're using Töten like a verb and conjugating it. You shouldn't do that, just leave it as Töten. Also, the article isn't den, but rather das. While den is used to refer to the direct object in a sentence, it's only used when the article of the noun is der. In this case, it simply remains das. Just thought I'd point that out.

Oh yeah, and Tod means death. I think you were aiming for kill, which would be more grammatically correct.

Dauc is an idiot, truly. If the Acoranado (or however you spell it, I know it means armored and how it sounds -_-) kidnapped Kida, then they're not just going to kill her, so they've got time to execute the plan as it was intended. Also, by going after her, he's playing right into the enemy's hands, since they'll be expecting that. They have so much intel on us that they'd surely know our relationships with one another. Finally, if Dauc really cared about Kida, he'd believe in her strength and let her take care of it herself. He knows she could hand him his ass on an off-day, so why should he be worried?