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eight of swords

today i feasted on banana pancakes, made with love.
today i met kit harrington, and perhaps i’m the one that knows nothing.
today i committed to a daily routine of familiarising myself with my deck of major and minor arcana.
today i ran from a ghost.
today i sat on the pavement, inches away from rainfall, and watched a friend spell out words with discarded pistachio shells.
today i felt embarrassed.
today i listened closely, contemplated, and lit a match.

and everything felt right, in the way that life sometimes does feel right when you slow down long enough to detach from reality, look out over all that is going on, and relax.
maybe even crack a secret smile.

at least i’m honest, to myself and hopefully to others.
at least i can laugh at the grim bits of existence and look people dead in their eyes.
at least i don’t stay up every night, worried about choices i have made and concerned for my own evolution. i can always put the complications to rest if need be.

today i drew the eight of swords.

“the eight of swords reflects that you feel trapped by your own thoughts and perspectives.
…suggests that you need to look at a difficult situation from a new angle. draw upon your intellectual self and your emotional self to determine the best path forward, one that avoids any possible victimisation or restriction.
…often a sign that it is best not to make any important decisions at this point because your thinking has been limited and constrained by self-imposed boundaries. you are struggling to see a situation for what it is and have been lead to believe certain things that may or may not be true.
…portrays a dilemma whereby you are faced with the difficulty of a painful decision and you are at an impasse, uncertain of which way to go.
…despite the fact that you have boxed yourself into a corner, there is a way out. the solution is simply to deal with the situation in the most direct yet tactful manner possible, and face your choice with inner strength. it is time to be honest with yourself and others in order to be free of the burden of fear or guilt that is implied with the eight of swords.”

looks like i’ll be living a little through each of these cards.
i guess experience is the best way to learn.

{tarot card and “suit of swords” descriptions lovingly borrowed from biddy tarot, a pretty great resource for this kind of thing}