Why We Decided on Having a Fourth Child

When I walked into my OB’s office for the first visit for having a fourth child, the first words that I uttered out of my mouth was, “Yes! It was planned.”

She smiled, and quickly typed up some notes in my medical record. I’m pretty sure she wrote in her visit notes that I was embarrassed of the perception of the situation.

Yep, four. In May-ish, we will have four littles running around. We are still trying to wrap our brains around it.

While Ryan and I were dating, I’m pretty sure we agreed on only have two. I’m actually really sure that was the agreement. Life is funny sometimes.

When we were preparing to start our family, someone wise told us that it would be the most craziest and insane thing we would do, but the most rewarding thing you will ever do in this lifetime. So far, this has held very true.

Don’t get me wrong. Life is insanity right now. Like bat shit crazy. But it is a whirlwind of fun.

Life is supposed to be an adventure, right? Well, this is what we chose for our adventure.

Sure, there are days when all three kids are screaming. Sure, one of my kids called me a “yeller”. Sure, Ryan and I bicker. Sure, it a freaking nightmare to get the kids to dance, soccer and Girl Scouts on time. Sure, my eldest daughter held out a mud ball that turned out to be a turd the other night (shaking my head). Most times, it is loud, chaotic and ridiculously stressful.

Our Reasons for Having a Fourth Child

1. Kids remind you what it is like to be innocent, carefree and unjaded by the world. Every single day. All of their experiences and how they convey their “firsts” for learning new things makes you want to go back to being a kid again.

2. The sibling bond is quite amazing. I hear all the time from big families that if you are mad at one sibling, that’s okay, you’ve got a few others to complain to. I wanted that for my kids. Granted, my two girls are night and day compared to one another. They bicker like no ones business. But they have their sweet moments too.

3. You have a better chance that one of them will take care of you in your old age. Selfish or smart? You can decide that one.

4. Automatic party when we show up anywhere. Holidays and birthdays are super fun in our house. You’ve got more people singing, talking, laughing – what’s not to love about that? The more the merrier.

5. A fourth should not be as bad as having two. In our own experience, having two kids was the hardest. Having a third was easier than having a second – only because we had helping hands. We’re working on the assumption that it is a linear path to super easy.

6. These kids love us even when we are yelling at them and are having bad days. They forgive us and give us the biggest hugs and kisses. You get random Kindergarten art in your work bag that say, “I love you so so so so so so mut.”

7. You meet so many people. I’m not sure if it is the small town we live in or the combination of us having the kids in sports. I feel like we know half the town. Our kids have obviously different sets of friends with different sets of parents. It is kind of awesome knowing other parents.

8. Kids learn the art of sharing and compromising early. Our girls love our little boy. They are understanding and genuinely helpful when their little brother is messing up their games and toys. They have learned patience and sharing at an early age. They have also learned to secretly eat candy away from their little brother so as not to have to share. That’s called being street smart.

9. It is a super exclusive club that not most people can get into. Hopefully, our kids never lack for company and know that there are other people in the world that can help them in time of crisis. That goes for us as parents as well.

10. People automatically think Ryan and I have a clue about parenting. I’ll take it – but it is the furthest from the truth. I guess if you do the job over and over again, it provides the perception of being an expert. And if you don’t mind, I’ll add that to my resume.

While we have postponed vacations due to multiple activity schedules, socked away money towards 529 plans instead of spending it on upgrading our 13-inch television, eaten Tostino’s pizza rolls and mac ‘n cheese because of the exhaustion of keeping up with three, we still thought having one more was the right choice for us.

Having a fourth child means having four under six.

This is cray y’all.

Crazy awesome. Follow me on Instagram @sengerson as I go on this journey as a working mom of four.

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