Welcome

Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the
symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ pages, including our "HIV Transmission and Risks" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" basics, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author
Topic: Advice. Robed and scared. (Read 10355 times)

I'm a guy from southamerica who was robed in the beginning of june. The thief (a taxi driver) invited me a beer which I accepted (stupid me - I was a bit drunk when I've got in the car). It happens that this beer had some Rohyphol on it, and I falled slept. This is a very common thing to robe people, and usually thiefs do this just to robe (sometimes when the victim is a girl, this includes also rape), but I have been scared since then.

The doctor checked me after this incident and no signs of rape or violence were found, however, he recommend me some STD tests, including HIV. When he told me about HIV, I was really scared.

I am in a monogamus relationship, never cheat on my girl, and I use to be blood donor three times per year.

I did a 4th generation Elisa test at 31 days after the incident, which (thanks God) came back negative. So far, I didnt show any ARS symptons, just some pain in my veins (at the day 35) but I don't know if this is from anxiety. I am going back for a test next week at 49 days, then the definitive one at 90 days.

I will make the test at the 90 day mark for sure, but since after the six weels all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so, I will take the 49 days (one week more just to be sure) test as well. Hopefully, It does not cost too much.

I am very depressed and anxious. I have problems to work and study, and that's why I just want a 49 days test to be more relaxed. I just want to be happy again.

Just got another negative result at 46 days (I couldn't wait 3 days more). Also a 4th generation Elisa . I feel now much more relaxed, however I have a few questions

1) According to your experience: Seroconverting after 46 days would be normal? rare? very rare? extremely rare? I am a healthy person (just suffer from rhinitis but very little) and don't take any meds.

2) Seroconverting depends most of the person's inmune system or the mode of tranmission?

First of all, thank you to Andy, Ann and all the great people who give us support during difficult times.

My story in shortHeterosexual male, promiscuous during 2010. Condoms were used in EVERY ocassion and never broke or sliped off.

The long storyIn 2010 I was exchange student in Europe and I had intercourse with several girls (7 in total) of unknown status (except one, who is a friend of mine and tested Negative recently). It was only vaginal intercourse in all cases and condom was always used. Three of the girls did oral sex to me. Prior to these encounters I had a couple of tests which came back negative (they are reliable as they were made after the window period, etc.)

At the end of 2010 I went back with my old partner, to a monogamus relationship. We use condoms and my partner is a usual donor blood so she is HIV-

However, in the last two months I cheated on her and had intercourse with two girls. With the first girl (in January) we had sex twice (vaginal), and both times with condom. No oral sex was performed and the condom did not fail.

With the second girl (beginning of February), we had anal (!) and vaginal sex. She performed oral sex on me for about 2-4 minutes maximum. She didn't want to use condoms (she kind of felt ofended when I proposed it!) for the intercourse, however, I insisted that there is no way on earth that we are having sex without it. I wore a condom and we had anal sex for a few minutes, then we went to vaginal. All the act did not last more than 10 minutes I think. Condom did not break or sliped off.

And that's the story.

Two weeks after the last encouter (that means, last weekend), I woke up with pain on the neck, and on Monday I had a swollen lymph node on the left side of my neck. It's small and hard, and you can't see it at first (unless you go very close and start to look). No fever or night sweats, but this swollen lymph really scares me (I don't think I ever had something like this before in my life). Doctor thinks is because of my rinitis (which affects my throath, etc.). But I am really scared.

I know I did bad and I swear I will be the most faithful man on earth from now on. I followed the book and I used condoms everytime without exceptions. I just hope my results will be OK because I am having a complete blood test (and I will ask for HIV as well if my doctor does not) next Wednesday. I will keep you posted.

As long as you used condoms everytime for both vaginal and anal intercourse then you were protected. There is no cause for concern about. Nor is there any need for HIV testing.

It's very common here to find straying spouses, partners, bfs, etc. worried unnecessarily. The real issue is guilt about having strayed. We can't help you with that issue. All I can say is you were not at risk so give up the HIV issue.

As for guilt, it's not a sign of high moral character to indulge in that mess. You did what you did, maybe you learned something about it. In any case, let it go and get on with your life is my suggestion.

Just to let you know all that finally, I will have my test tomorrow morning. It will be long seven days until I get the results. I barely can sleep, I can't concentrate at work and I am even trembling while writing this. I have been crying thinking about the consequences of a bad result. I am too angry on myself for the situation I put me in.

If I didn't have this small swollen lymph node on my neck (which went away after 3-4 days by the way) about 2 weeks after exposure, I would be more relaxed. My only "hope" is this lymph node had connection with a UTI (urinary track infection) I had also 2-3 weeks after the last exposure (unprotected blowjob), and not HIV. Doctor gave me ciprofloxacin for the UTI and it's going away, hopefully.

I am in my early thirtees and in all my life the condom only failed one time with an ex girlfriend, many years ago (yes, one knows when it breaks down, it's like a ring on your penis). Since then, all intercourses were protected, and the condom never failed (neither they slip, etc.). I am just scared about the 3 incidents of unprotected oral sex (me as the passive). I know, the risk is almost zero, but I just wish I could turn the time and had no oral sex at all or a condom for oral sex in those ocassions (with condom the risk would be certanly zero).

I know, I am probably panicking over nothing and hopefully the results will tell Andy and Rapidrod were right. Hopefully.

Yes, condoms were always used. I would never, ever could have sex without condom with someone I don't know for certain her status. Even when I was drunk (like my last exposure, beginning of February), I made sure condoms were used. And they did not fail (as a matter of fact, I always go to the toilet to take off the condom, and wrap it in a toilet papper, as it's indicated).

About testing, I think someone who had many partners should always do it even if they used condoms. Is just "to be sure", and is good, I think. Thanks for reading!

For the record, anyone who is sexually active ought to have at least two STD checkups a year. Condoms are crazy effective, but some STDs are possible even when condoms are used correctly.

That having been said, you can have ten thousand different partners, but if you use a condom correctly for penetrative sex, you wil not get HIV. It's not like the virus keeps score

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I was just tested today, results comming next Thursday. It will be a long, long week. I am very stressed.

The Dr. was very nice and she said that the risk was low, but that I'm not risk-free. She suggested me a 3 months test if this one is negative, just to confirm. The test I did today was 5 weeks after my last exposure. I really hope you all are right, because as I said before, I didn't have other risk than unprotected fellatio. For the rest, condoms were always used. Fingers crossed.

I was just tested today, results comming next Thursday. It will be a long, long week. I am very stressed.

The Dr. was very nice and she said that the risk was low, but that I'm not risk-free. She suggested me a 3 months test if this one is negative, just to confirm. The test I did today was 5 weeks after my last exposure. I really hope you all are right, because as I said before, I didn't have other risk than unprotected fellatio. For the rest, condoms were always used. Fingers crossed.

Your Doctor no matter how nice she is was incorrect. You had condom protected sex and didn't have a risk.

Is just that having a small swollen lymph node on my neck (left side - confirmed by the doctor), right after 2 weeks after the encounter really scared me and still scares me me a lot (the lymph node went away after a few days). This came together with a torticollis. I don't remember ever having a swollen lymph node in my neck, and that's why I am so concerned. I hope it's connected to the UTI I mentioned before, and not HIV.

Is just that having a small swollen lymph node on my neck (left side - confirmed by the doctor), right after 2 weeks after the encounter really scared me and still scares me me a lot (the lymph node went away after a few days). This came together with a torticollis. I don't remember ever having a swollen lymph node in my neck, and that's why I am so concerned. I hope it's connected to the UTI I mentioned before, and not HIV.

I am SO relaxed after seeing this. The last two weeks were probably the worst of my life. I must suposse that nump on the neck 2-3 weeks after the "exposure" was not a sign that I was seroconverting, otherwise the test (taken 5 weeks after the incident) would have been reactive, right?

Anyway, for those reading this: Think twice about cheating on your partner. Really, it's not worth all the stress and anxiety. A friend of mine suggested me to write down in a papper a list of promises I will do after this experience. I suggest everyone happening through the same to do something similar, it will help to avoid similar incidents or exposures in the feature.

My doctor still says I should come back 3 months after the incident just to be extra sure, thing that I am planning to do. Of course, with a negative at 5 weeks, I won't be stressed anymore.

Thank you again jkinatl2, Rapidrod, and (specially) Andy for the support.

I just had a second test today (9 weeks from the incident). I have been thinking a lot this week, specially about the lump node (swollen gland) in the left side of my neck appearing exactly 2-3 weeks after exposure (too bad coincidence), and I decided to test to totally move on with my life. I have been reading a lot and I know a 9 week Negative would be virtually conclusive so I will be able to turn the page finally.

If the lump node was due to HIV (it appeared about 2-3 weeks after the incident) would my 4th generation test taken 2 weeks later (5th week) noticed it?

OK, the bottom line is you never had a risk to start with. So anything that you are experiencing symptomatically has nothing to do with HIV. You should be discussing bumps and lumps and whatever with your doctor.

As you yourself have observed, your fears are basically grounded in your guilt about having strayed from your relationship. We can't help you with that. All we can is that you are not at risk for HIV.

And I will also say that if you continue to return with more angst about this situation you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site. HIV is not your problem. Period. Cut out the drama and get on with your life.

I totally agree with Rodney, Andy and JK - you have NOT had a risk for hiv infection. You do NOT need further testing, you are already conclusively hiv negative.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

However, I would like to comment on something you said in reply #8. (This has nothing to do with hiv.)

You said, "we had anal sex for a few minutes, then we went to vaginal". If you ever have anal sex with a woman again, please put a new condom on before you have vaginal intercourse. Going from anal to vaginal without changing the condom (or washing your penis if you're not using condoms) carries the strong possibility of giving the woman a vaginal bacterial infection.

It also carries the possibility that she'll end up with a bacterial urinary tract infection. Neither are any fun, so please be kind to the woman you're with and change the condom or wash your penis when you switch from anal to vaginal. Or start with vaginal and then go to anal - no condom change or washing is needed in that situation.

Just thought I'd mention that.

As far as hiv goes, you have NOT had a risk and you do NOT need further testing.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

However, I would like to comment on something you said in reply #8. (This has nothing to do with hiv.)

You said, "we had anal sex for a few minutes, then we went to vaginal". If you ever have anal sex with a woman again, please put a new condom on before you have vaginal intercourse. Going from anal to vaginal without changing the condom (or washing your penis if you're not using condoms) carries the strong possibility of giving the woman a vaginal bacterial infection.

It also carries the possibility that she'll end up with a bacterial urinary tract infection. Neither are any fun, so please be kind to the woman you're with and change the condom or wash your penis when you switch from anal to vaginal. Or start with vaginal and then go to anal - no condom change or washing is needed in that situation.

Thank you Ann and Andy and sorry to drive you mad.

This was the first "one night stand" ever in my life (and the last), and you're right, I should have changed condoms when going from anal to vaginal. I guess because of the heat of the moment I didn't think of it. But I am usually VERY careful, and in other situation I would have not done that. To be honest, I only had anal sex three times before in my life, and always with my girlfriends, not strangers (and always with condoms - I think when it comes to anal is better, even if you're HIV free).

As for the urinary tract infection (UTI), it's me who got that due oral sex I suposse (btw, apparently the girl is fine, as she went to gynecolist after and she said all was alright there).

I am not sure if the swollen node in the neck is related to that (the UTI), as when it started to dissapear (around week 3), the UTI appeared. I had to go to the toilet every 10 minutes to piss and feel strong pein in my balls at times

I guess all this stress is also due the girl "not liking use condoms". After the oral sex, I went to look for the condoms on my desktop and she said "no, I don't like them". I told her are you crazy? and that there's no way I wouldn't use them. She has a boyfriend, but she told me the week before me she had sex with a "friend". And I am almost sure they didn't use condoms. Later on a Chat I talked to her about STDs and HIV, and she seemed not too care much I am in a country in Europe where the HIV rates are extremely low (one of the lowest in the EU), and is not the first time I heard of girls here not caring about condoms. They seem to be more worried about pregnancy

Anyway, the 9 week test is done so I will post the results FYI. Hopefully that single lump node was due anything else but HIV.

1) Don't drink too much2) Don't pick up girls on bars3) Stay faithful4) If a person says she/he "does not like condoms" RUN AWAY in that very moment! That person is a public health threat. You may not get HIV from receiving a blowjob, but you are likely to get other STDs or a painful urinary track infection!5) If you can't be faithful, ALWAYS wear condoms, and wear them also for oral sex. As I said, HIV is not the only threat out there.

I will have a full STD panel in 2 or 3 weeks as I want to dispose of condoms with my current partner (she will do as well). Should I test for HIV again, I will let you know. Anyway, I am turning the page about this issue as of today.

It's good to hear that you and your partner are both going to have complete sexual health check ups before you stop using condoms. If she would like for you to have another hiv test at that time you may as well have one - you'll get another negative result - it would be only for her peace of mind.

Make sure she knows about the window period for hiv testing - she needs to test for hiv at three months (or more) following her last incident of unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with anyone (other than you - we already know that you don't have hiv).

You are conclusively hiv negative - which is no surprise as you didn't have a risk.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Just un update on my "case". It's currently about 14 weeks post incident, well beyond the window period. As for HIV, my urologist said 9 weeks is more than enough and that I shouldn't be concerned, but I might do a final test in the following days/weeks. I will post the results if I do. Actually, he looked me with a face of WTF when I told him I did two test based on my case (unprotected insertive fellatio + protected insertive anal and vaginal)

As promised, I went for a STD panel and I was tested some days ago (at the 14th week mark) for all this: Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, NSU (Mycoplasma, Ureaplasma, Trichomonas) and Syphilis. For the first three, the doctor did an urethra swab, and it was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced If I knew this, I would probably have choosen another kind of test, but I read the urethra swab is very accurate as test anyway.

@Ann: as for my partner, she has been faithful to me always. I have been the only man she has been with and she is a usual blood donor (she donates blood twice per year), so I am totally sure she's safe on the HIV, Hepatitis, etc. side. But anyway, we use condoms, and there has been only three times vaginal sex since the incident (no oral, no anal). I have been the jerk in the relationship for cheating on her

Ann, by the way (probably you know this already), France lowered the window period to six weeks (page 32) about two years ago already. However, they only consider a result conclusive at this time for the those 4th Generation tests able to detect very low quantities of the Antigen p24 (50pg/ml or less). The list of such tests can be found here (the website is from ANSM, something like the FDA in France). I just thought I would share this information for those who would like to have a bit of peace at the six week mark - of course if you're outside France, you will have to repeat the test at the twelve week mark for the protocol

Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, NSU (Mycoplasma, Ureaplasma, Trichomonas) and Syphilis ---Negative at the 14th week mark post incident, so I am still wondering what could have caused the UTI I had around the 3rd week post incident

I'm still thinking if taking or not the HIV test at the +3month mark (it's 15 weeks by now). I know rationally I would have to be WAY too unlucky to have my results changed now (very low to no risk situation + two consecutive negative tests, the last being 9 weeks post incident). Anyway, if I ever test again in these weeks, I will post my results to close this topic.

I decided to go for a final test this Wednesday. Fingers crossed. I won't question the result if it's negative, as it's well beyond the Window period. It will be +4 months post risk (and +2 months after my last test).

Reasons to go for this test is the Dr. of the prevention center telling that "my results at 5 and 9 weeks post incident indicate that I had very low chances of being infected". I was hoping something more of the order "you don't need any further testing"

Then In the last month I have been getting these randoms stabs of pain in my armpit, neck (under my jaw), and groin. That was really weird and scary. I don't feel those pains anymore (they lasted for about 2 weeks), but now I have a sore throat and a few pimples under my tongue. I suffer of rhinitis, so I related this problems to that, but anyway, it's scary.

Something that scared me a lot was this research (from 2000) I found a few days ago:

"A more recent study found that infectious HIV can be detected at high levels in saliva during the early weeks of HIV infection (the ‘window’ period before antibodies appear), but that levels fall rapidly after this point. Free floating infectious viruses and virus-infected white blood cells (lymphocytes) could be detected in saliva taken from individuals with primary HIV infection attending clinics in North Carolina. In seven out of eight cases, free floating infectious virus could be detected at an average level of 2000 copies per ml, and in five out of eight cases cell-associated virus could be detected at an average level of 20,000 copies per ml.3"

Now, I always understood that saliva is not infectious (therefore the reason why getting a blowjob seems harmless) but it's really scaring to read what seems a serious research stating that "free floating infectious viruses and virus-infected white blood cells (lymphocytes) could be detected in saliva". This seems to be me a contradiction with the statement that saliva is not infectious. Maybe I am missing something?

Thanks in advance for your support, I will come back with my results next week.

ps. For those reading, please post your results too! Lots of people here always say "I will post my results" but never come back

That's it. My blood was drawn for the third and last time (hopefully). Results next week.

Testing is a very relaxing and liberating thing. Going to get the results, that's a different story.

But is always better to be sure than killing you with anxiety thinking "what if". Hopefully, I won't be the first on this forum to seroconvert after a 4th generation test 9 weeks post incident. Or better said, hopefully, no-one in this forum will seroconvert beyond that time frame, ever.

■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result, or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

I couldn't wait until tomorrow and when to prevention center to ask for my results, as you expected, it was Negative. This 130 days post incident. I have not HIV.

During the last 4 months of hell (I don't know why I waited an extra month, I should have close this chapter in the 3 months mark) I had a series of scary symptoms:

A swollen lymph node in the left side of my neck (confirmed by a doctor)Random stabs of pain in all my lymph nodesSince about two weeks ago, something that appears to be oral thrush (needs to be confirmed with my doctor tomorrow)

But none of these symptoms have nothing to do with HIV.

This virus affects our whole inmune system, and if you want to freak yourself you can google and you will always find a match for your symptom with HIV. Don't do that to yourself.

Currently my health is not good. I am mostly tired, I have lost 3Kg, I have more white hair (I am only in my mid 30s) all because I have been under maximum stress the last months. All this situation has wrecked my health, not HIV.

So I will copy a great advice I found in another forum, for people with a real risk (my case was not a "real risk" and I should have trusted my 9 weeks result, I don't know why I didn't. Mind is too powerful):

Don't wait too long to do a test, just do it. If the tests come back positive, you are in time for treatment, if they come back negative you can learn from it and have mental peace. But don't let anxiety kill you before anything else.

Thank you all for your support.

PS. I have a constructive critic for you guys at forums.poz.

I know oral sex is extremely low risk (I am talking about receptive), but HIV experts agree that tranmission can and does occur. I am a little bit surprised because sometimes certain members here come saying they had receptive oral sex including ejaculation with some random partners and some of you tell there's no concern.

It would not be better to err on the side of caution? I know there have been studies proving that oral sex seems to be very safe, but I don't think those studies have taken in consideration people in their window period (when they're more infectious). Furthermore, all of those studies don't conclude that oral is free risk. Just my thoughts.