Saturday, August 4, 2012

I'm With One Woman, But I'm Thinking About Another Woman

Don't judge me too harshly for this blog. I'm going to be completely honest. I love Yellow Bone with all my heart. I enjoy being with her and I'm glad we're back together. She is just about everything I can ask for in a partner. However, I've met another woman and I can't stop thinking about her....

It's been about a week now since I first heard her voice (referring to the other woman). Our conversations have been interesting, entertaining and intellectually stimulating. We seem to have a lot in common. I enjoy talking to her. I anticipate talking to her almost everyday. I'm quite smitten with her. From what I can tell, she is my ideal black woman. She is beautiful. She is smart. She is down to earth. She is ambitious/career orientated. She doesn't have any children. She wants a family one day...after marriage. She sounds a lot like me! I really like her a lot.

Does she feel the same way? I don't know. I'm too afraid to ask. If I had to guess I would say NO. My feelings are probably unrequited. She has a girlfriend and I would never cross that line...even if Yellow Bone were not in the picture. I just don't have it in me to go after another woman's girlfriend. It would piss me off if someone did that to me.

She told me her friends and people she tries to befriend often make a play for her...I don't want to be one of those people. I understand why they do it...she's a damn good catch. Anyone would be lucky to have her. Plus the last thing I want is to be shot down even if I ever got up the nerve to make a play for her.

I know some of you probably think I'm a bastard. Though I'm not physically cheating on Yellow Bone I guess I'm cheating on her emotionally. My thoughts have been conquered by a woman other than her. I feel bad about it. I just got Yellow Bone back and I'm already thinking about another woman...I feel bad as hell. Tomorrow if all goes well (referring to the weather here...it's currently raining), Yellow Bone and I are going on a horse and carriage ride through the city of Atlanta. It's a surprise I've been planning the entire week.

I don't want to get any more caught up with this woman than I already am. I think I will slowly start pulling away. I don't know what else to do. She isn't available. I'm not available. It is probably best to leave it alone and move on.

About Me

Life is not simple for a black woman who identifies as a lesbian. I come here to freely express myself. This blog is about my life and my take on the world around me. I'm funny, old-fashioned, selfish, stubborn, loving, caring, romantic and a real asshole at times.

Anything else you wanna know...ask!

Feel free to comment, but don't expect my opinion to match yours. If you wanna chat email me at lezintellect@gmail.com.

If you have a question click the "Ask Me Anything" button at the top of the blog and visit my formspring HERE. If you wanna hate turn around and walk away. I don't have time for haters.