Corbyn Returns From Jam-Packed Christmas Break

Jeremy Corbyn (also know as ‘Jamery’ Corbyn) has returned to Westminster’s central stage after a jam-packed Christmas break. The Labour leader had been beavering away producing 1984 batches of jam. Relief has spread across the nation with the news that back from an undoubtedly joyless Christmas, Corbyn is ready to provide a feeble opposition again.

Corbyn locked himself away in his kitchen and forbade his wife from entering during the jam production, even on Christmas day. He is said to have made enough jam to last until the next leadership contest.

Corbyn is rumoured to have touched a biscuit during the Christmas break having previously committed himself to an anti-sugar ethos, except from all the sugar that is in jam, of course.

Now that Jeremy has finished with jam production; he will surely return to other serious matters, like tending to his allotment and squabbling about how busy Virgin trains are