he constantly criticises me . my cooking is bad, my cleaning is bad, I am ugly, I am fat (size 8). it is relentless at time and I cry a lot when he keeps on telling me off. I am tired (work and little kids + running the house) and it just gets to me.

I know I am a rubbish cook and that the house is a tip and and that I am not on top of things. I just end up crying a lot. I never really cry but for him.

He says a 'normal' person would better themselves, not just cry. he says that I am emotionally disturbed Stuff like that. I guess he has some point. I should really stay cool and calm...

Is he qualified to say you have a psychiatric disorder?! Does he help around the house or just criticise you? I would seek help. I doubt you have a psychiatric disorder but I think if you seek you will probably find that you see things more clearly and realise that the only reason you feel awful is because your H is treating you so badly. You deserve better than this.

Gaslighting, bullying and abuse. What does he do to keep on top of the house? The way he speaks to you is disgusting. I think he's massively projecting his own issues onto you. Of course you cry when he says such despicable things to you, I'd cry if my DP spoke like that to me - it's a perfectly rational response!

I think speaking to a counsellor/therapist would be a good idea, but only to help you get a clearer picture of what is going on here and, hopefully to get the courage to leave this awful, abusive man.

I diagnose a case of severe arseholeishness on his part, there is nothing wrong with you. He doesn't love you, you are his emotional punchbag. I am not surprised you end up crying he's horrible to you. Hugs and Time to think about what you want and to leave this man.

Yup he is a vile bully. The quickest way to find out if you have a mental disorder is to go and chat to your doctor and when you have been found to have no mental disorder you can tell him to go to hell. What a bastard.

It seems weird for sure - though just because this is Relationships, doesn't mean it's gaslighting! I agree the main question is why he says this.

The way you've asked the question is interesting. Yes, it is possible for someone to have a serious problem even though they work and other people haven't said anything. "High functioning depression" for example. What seems less likely is that you could be ill when you don't think there is anything wrong. OTOH you presumably know what he thinks your symptoms are, and you didn't say "He claims things happen that simply don't", nor "He claims that this completely normal behaviour is a sign of illness". Which is interesting - why?

The problem is him.How is the 50% of the cooking and cleaning which he does as his part of running the household?Don't be confused.You are only crying with him - that's because his nasty bullying behaviour is making you cry,and that is him at fault not you.

A normal loving husband does not do this to his wifeHe is emotionally abusing you, if he genuinely thought there was something wrong with you the normal response would be to do everything he could to support you and be kind and lovingNo one can be fat at a size eight, so you know he's lying and deliberately making you feel bad about yourself, you don't have to put up with this, go and get some counselling, go and see your GP , get some help to see this horrible man for who he is

Presumably if he leaves you he will starve in filth or do his own shitwork?

Cleaning the home isn't one person's job. You both make the mess, you both clean it up. That's common courtesy. Even when I was off work, my partner didn't expect to be absolved of his share. Although I did take over ironing his shirts.

I wonder what he's going to do to keep you meek and obedient once you've seen the Dr and been told there's nothing wrong with your mental health that a bit more support from your partner wouldn't solve?

You're holding down a job, keeping the house running and keeping your kids fed, clothed and cared for, and the only thing that makes you cry is him. The problem isn't you darling.

It's not you, it's him. Think about it, if you suspected that someone had a psychiatric disorder 😒Would you leave children with them? How much help does he give you? (I bet none) Turn it round, a normal person would help someone who was struggling. Why is he so keen on a diagnosis? So he feels justified when he walks out? Honey, you're being gas lighted in preparation for this. Get in first, stay calm, ducks in a row, talk to someone in RL.