2.The Afternoon before the Surgery I got a call.

It was my Doctor. The test results were in, and they weren’t in my favor. I tried to look behind her to see if there was anyone else waiting in line to add another “one-two punch,” but she stood alone with words that cut through. In all fairness to her surgical abilities,… her words were probably sharper than a scalpel and were certainly straight to the jugular! OK. The tumor we were hoping for has caught the last train for the coast. Ugh! This means I have to work a lot harder to get back to the old reliable Robin. I’m so tired of trying to compete with who I am! It’s Ridiculous! Why do I have to be Type A and an Over-performer? It would be so much easier if I didn’t have to live up to my own overwheming image. She explained that she would go in laparascopically but I’d need to sign a consent that if she saw anything more she’d be able to do a full blown surgery instead. I asked, “Does this change the stage I’m in?” She said she wouldn’t know until after they biopsy other organs if necessary. I asked, “How long for results?” She said 10 days. Ten days of torture; of not knowing what stage cancer you’re in. Hell, I just figured out what stage of LIFE I’m in! The final question, and of course this is me assuming I’m living through this crap- “will I need chemo?” Answer, “YES.” There in lies the stranger that was in line behind her. The one I thought skipped my line and meant to bother someone else. No such luck. What about my book? How do I add chapters on to the end of “The Diary of a Sugar Mom?” These are some Serious Chapters! Oh dear God… I’m already realizing there’s gonna’ have to be Book Two. I don’t think I could live through it! Oh… maybe I won’t HAVE to? I’m now thinking ahead… I wonder if I have enough hair, … it IS down to the middle of my back… to have someone make me my own wig? It’s right up there with finding my car in a parking lot. Same kind of illogical logic that works in my head. The final question I had for her was, “You said that tonight I had to be on an all liquid diet. Does Vodka count?” She said two things: “Go for it,” and how she mustered up the ability to say the closing comment I’ll never know: “Have a good night.” Shouldn’t Doctors have pat answers to medical conditions? If you’re operating on someone in the morning who has cancer- Here’d be My List of correct comments: a. Try to get some sleep b. It’ll be over before you know it! c. You’re in good hands. d. Don’t beat yourself up. You need to rest. “Have a good night??” Really.

Humor

This is a, “I remember this like it just happened yesterday,” kinda’ story! Walking downstairs, to get my first cup of coffee for the day, wearing my worn out pink bathrobe, with two dogs at my feet, and no- I can’t blame the dogs, although I was groggier than normal because of a crazy dream […]

We are sadly informed of the passing of one of America’s smartest cookies… and the story of how my daughters and I made the most delicious meal from “Scratch!” Lastly, we all worry about our kids drinking when they’re not supposed to be, and this mother-daughter team learned quite a valuable lesson on the subject […]