Three Long Island teens were caught breaking into Michael Kors' Fire Island home! Bet he has nice stuff. • A cow rammed a woman in the stomach and the resulting injury prompted her to visit the doctor, where she discovered she had cervical cancer. If it could, the cow would say, "Hey lady, you're welcome. • More Canadian women are "in love" than Canadian men, surely because women are clingy, emotional freaks! • A 16-year-old Texan girl-whiz was denied valedictorian status because she finished school too quickly. • A female boob-flasher was sentenced to a week in jail . Will prison turn her into a girl gone mild? • Islamic Turkish government to women: Stop being so hot. Secular Turkish people to government: STFU. • Women are better than men at remembering faces and words, and have better long-term memory based on personal experiences. • Just in time to ruin your summer: A list of the most fattening ice cream flavors. • "Real-life Carrie Bradshaw" and Cosmoblogger spends $489.50 less than Carrie on a typical Friday, and $280 more than us on a typical weekend! • Blunt-talking madam "introduction-maker" is trying to crash in on Millionaire Matchmaker's territory. • The more your breasts jiggle in exercise, the more chest pain you will have. • Psh, female bloggers are totally mainstream now. • Cuddly pets are now becoming big issues in divorce settlements.