Barrier Breakershttps://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk
getting people to their bestTue, 06 Dec 2016 09:23:15 +0000en-GBhourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.1Soft skills ≠ permanently cheeryhttps://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/soft-skills-%e2%89%a0-permanently-cheery/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/soft-skills-%e2%89%a0-permanently-cheery/#respondTue, 06 Dec 2016 09:23:15 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=11148Recently I wrote about how having soft skills doesn’t mean you’re ‘nice’. I think it’s worth also mentioning that having good soft skills doesn’t mean you’ll be permanently cheery! Some people seem a little confused about this, and as a result… I hesitate to mention to anyone when I’m having a blue day. Why? Well, I suspect I’m not alone in this. But perhaps because I’m a soft skills ‘expert’ I hear it more often. People can be under the impression that if I’m not permanently cheery then the soft skills aren’t being effective. And rather than the chummy and supportive cheering-up I’m reaching out for, I run the risk of getting a ‘doctor heal thyself’ type of response. Or something along the lines of, “Oh dear, the soft skills not working so well then!” Actually, the soft skills help me curb any knee jerk response to their comments ;) Seriously, I’m grateful to them for highlighting what I suspect is another soft skills misunderstanding. Nothing can guarantee perpetual happiness. We know that perpetual happiness is as irrational – and ultimately as undesirable – as expecting every day to be sunny (especially in England!), everything always to go to plan, and everybody […]

I hesitate to mention to anyone

when I’m having a blue day.

People can be under the impression that if I’m not permanently cheery then the soft skills aren’t being effective.

And rather than the chummy and supportive cheering-up I’m reaching out for, I run the risk of getting a ‘doctor heal thyself’ type of response.

Or something along the lines of, “Oh dear, the soft skills not working so well then!”

Actually, the soft skills help me curb any knee jerk response to their comments ;)

Seriously, I’m grateful to them for highlighting what I suspect is another soft skills misunderstanding.

Nothing can guarantee perpetual happiness.

We know that perpetual happiness is as irrational – and ultimately as undesirable – as expecting every day to be sunny (especially in England!), everything always to go to plan, and everybody to behave as you’d wish them to.

But we can feel wrong for being unhappy.

Or can be made to feel we’re failing, especially if wellbeing is part of our work identity.

It’s even a bit shameful to be unhappy, with so much to be grateful for, etc.

So it becomes a double whammy!

But occasional sadness is totally natural.

And it’s necessary.

Feeling unhappy is a chance to listen to yourself.

Having good soft skills doesn’t mean we can avoid the blue days – or even wish to.

Having soft skills means we’ve the adaptability to make the most of them.

To use them as a time for reflection.

To learn from them.

Soft skills give us the self-awareness to expect and accept the blue days.

And the confidence to know that they won’t last.

If you’re having a blue day, make the most of it.

And if someone does you the honour of reaching out to you on one of their blue days, don’t give them a double whammy!

Instead, use it as an opportunity to practice your own soft skills.

Think about how you feel on your blue days.

Be empathic.

And listen.

That way, they’ll be cheery before you know it!

If you like this post, join our newsletter for regular soft skills insights.

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/soft-skills-%e2%89%a0-permanently-cheery/feed/0Do you support or sap others’ creativity?https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/support-others-creativity/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/support-others-creativity/#respondTue, 01 Nov 2016 08:25:40 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=11123Whether you’re an employer, a colleague, a friend, or a stranger, You can support others’ creativity, Or you can sap it. You have the power to buoy up, Or to bring down. You can recognise and celebrate the glimmer of daring, Or you can snuff it out. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. W. B. Yeats A few ill-considered words, Or words not spoken, Will harm the fragile seed of an idea, And dampened the risk-taker’s spirit. If mistakes are punished, Creativity cannot happen, And the flow of ideas will shut down. Do you ever shame someone for trying but ‘failing’? Do you ever belittle another for performing, but not according to your criteria? Do you ever judge another, while never making yourself as vulnerable as they have? Being creative takes courage. Because creativity isn’t about coloured crayons and cool haircuts. Creativity is a messy, unpredictable process. It has no guarantee of accolades, reward, or recognition. It’s a blank page, A dot. Then two. It rarely meets with approval because’s it’s nothing… Until it’s something. And that something could come to nothing. Or it could challenge the status quo. Provoke questioning. Shake things up. Spark change. Aggravate and annoy. Even beauty can cause resentment, jealousy, […]

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/support-others-creativity/feed/0What makes a great leader?https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/makes-great-leader/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/makes-great-leader/#respondTue, 27 Sep 2016 07:44:31 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=11093Essentially, a leader needs a vision, plus the ability to get many people following them, in support of that vision. But what else? What kind of qualities make a great leader? Nowadays it’s widely agreed that what makes a great leader are attributes such as emotional intelligence, honesty, humility, the ability to empower others – indeed, the whole range of soft skills from critical thinking to empathy, resilience to creativity. That’s exactly what we at Barrier Breakers believe. These are the only kind of leaders we work with. It’s what I personally endorse, encourage, talk about and write about every day. Research shows time and again that this kind of leadership produces the best results, financially and beyond. And it’s the way people say they want to be lead. So what’s the problem? Well, take a quick look around the world at the leaders we’ve got. Check out the leaders we’ve allowed to lead us, now and in the past. Look at the leaders we choose. How many leaders come close to the version we say we want? Do we really want leaders with those positive attributes? The servant leader? The authentic leader? The honest, empathic, empowering leader? Or… is our ingrained understanding of what makes a […]

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/makes-great-leader/feed/0Kaizen & Digit Ticshttps://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/kaizen/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/kaizen/#respondMon, 04 Jul 2016 09:17:30 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=11026Sometimes change is thrust upon us. But if we’ve a choice about how we make a change – whether it’s personal, professional, or organisational – kaizen is the way to go. Kaizen (Japanese for ‘improvement’) is: a business philosophy of continuous improvement of working practices, personal efficiency, etc. (Oxford Dictionary) While kaizen started as a management approach, it has also become a life philosophy that espouses the value of making small, regular changes. This approach is a wonderful way of maintaining appreciation for and pleasure in the present, while simultaneously being aware of what you can do to improve the situation in future, without letting the ‘improvement’ part dominate and cause constant dissatisfaction. Not only does this decrease stress and increase wellbeing, but it’s also proven to be a very effective way of achieving and maintaining change. Change doesn’t have to be painful. Too often we think that a major overhaul, a serious re-jig, a completely new model is what’s needed…and that a no-holes barred, cold-turkey, painful plan is what it’s going to take to turn everything around. Sometimes that may be the case. But generally it’s not the best approach. It sets up a resistance to change, and is the major cause of unhappy stasis, missed […]

But if we’ve a choice about how we make a change – whether it’s personal, professional, or organisational – kaizen is the way to go.

Kaizen (Japanese for ‘improvement’) is:

a business philosophy of continuous improvement of working practices, personal efficiency, etc.

(Oxford Dictionary)

While kaizen started as a management approach, it has also become a life philosophy that espouses the value of making small, regular changes.

This approach is a wonderful way of maintaining appreciation for and pleasure in the present, while simultaneously being aware of what you can do to improve the situation in future, without letting the ‘improvement’ part dominate and cause constant dissatisfaction.

Not only does this decrease stress and increase wellbeing, but it’s also proven to be a very effective way of achieving and maintaining change.

Change doesn’t have to be painful.

Too often we think that a major overhaul, a serious re-jig, a completely new model is what’s needed…and that a no-holes barred, cold-turkey, painful plan is what it’s going to take to turn everything around.

Sometimes that may be the case.

But generally it’s not the best approach. It sets up a resistance to change, and is the major cause of unhappy stasis, missed goals, and failed resolutions.

Tiny shifts in direction take you somewhere new.

Think of the 1 in 60 rule. Essentially, if you’re flying a plane and are one degree off course, you’ll be one mile off-target for every sixty miles flown.

Of course, this also means that you can choose to make a tiny adjustment, and completely change your destination as a consequence.

The best way to make change

is incrementally, persistently, gently.

As a pianist I’ve learnt that we have what I call ‘digit tics’; our 10 digits all have very different characteristics, which sometimes leads to peculiar, habitual behaviour from them.

For example, the thumb might be clunky, the middle finger could stick out rigidly, the little finger may tend to curl up shyly, or the 4th finger be a bit feeble, and try to get out of playing a note in the hope that another one will do the work!

If you get annoyed at the behaviour in an attempt to change it, you risk setting up a tension that can increase the problem.

Rather, merely notice it.

And ask it to change, consistently and calmly.

Using this approach removes tension, shifts behaviour, builds a new ‘muscular’ memory, and the desired change not only happens, but is also embedded.

So if you’re trying to make change…

Be kind to yourself, be calm, and be kaizen in your approach.

Are you going through professional or organisational change?

Get in touch and find out how we can help you break through the barriers and make the change!

If you like this post, join our newsletter for regular soft skills insights.

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/kaizen/feed/0Soft isn’t nice!https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/soft-isnt-nice/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/soft-isnt-nice/#respondTue, 31 May 2016 12:48:37 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=10968Soft skills, as a term, gets a bad rap. Rather than a Lao Tzu-type of understanding that, “What is soft is strong,” (think of the nature of water, for example), many people take ‘soft’ in this context to mean easy, fluffy, inconsequential. But let’s say that you’re okay with the idea that soft skills are powerful, and you believe that they’re now crucial life and business skills. Great! However, there’s another ‘soft’ misunderstanding you might come across: having soft skills means you’re ‘nice’. Or to put it another way: if you’re not being nice you don’t have good soft skills. Not so. The truth is this… If you’ve got great soft skills you’re going to make some people as mad as hell! Ouch! “If that’s the case,” you might be wondering, “why would any leader want to develop their employees’ soft skills?” (And you might think I’ve just put Barrier Breakers’ rosy future into a noose!) Well, here’s the thing… There’s an increasing amount of research dedicated to soft skills. And findings are consistent: soft skills are essential at this time, yet employers find them lacking in recruits at every level. If soft skills are so important, why are they lacking? Why […]

]]>Soft skills, as a term, gets a bad rap. Rather than a Lao Tzu-type of understanding that, “What is soft is strong,” (think of the nature of water, for example), many people take ‘soft’ in this context to mean easy, fluffy, inconsequential.

But let’s say that you’re okay with the idea that soft skills are powerful, and you believe that they’re now crucial life and business skills.

There’s an increasing amount of research dedicated to soft skills. And findings are consistent: soft skills are essential at this time, yet employers find them lacking in recruits at every level.

If soft skills are so important, why are they lacking?

Why aren’t they being taught in schools?

Or in universities and business schools?

Why aren’t they prioritised in every organisation’s staff training?

Developing our soft skills will make us better at working with others, at being innovative, at being productive, engaged and happy at work…

But hold on…

There’s another side to soft skills development.

It’s a side that’s rarely mentioned.

And it could be a turn off for some leaders.

For example:

As we develop self confidence we become less compliant

As we become better communicators we speak up for ourselves and others

As we flex our independent judgement we become more questioning of authority

As we learn to listen well we hear with less naivety and more perspicacity.

Soft skills are likely to turn us into people who see injustice and dare to speak out about it; who follow others less willingly; who are self-motivated; who expect integrity from leaders; who have the maturity to anticipate resistance to change and the resilience to take it on.

Soft-skilled people are not always nice!

The most successful leaders now (and those we work with at Barrier Breakers – so no nooses here!) are aware of the other side of soft skills, and aren’t deterred by it.

In fact, they welcome it.

They know that by developing soft skills and releasing the best in their people they’ll get the best for their organisation.

And they know that soft isn’t always nice!

Would you like to build up your organisation’s soft skills – and boost employee engagement, performance, and the bottom line?

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/soft-isnt-nice/feed/0Do You Like Happy Endings?https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/endings/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/endings/#respondTue, 05 Apr 2016 07:47:38 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=10924Who doesn’t like happy endings, right! But all too often ‘happy’ isn’t the way they go :( And we’re not always great at making endings as good as we could… So how do we make good endings? Life is full of endings, and we experience them in every kind of work, whether it’s the conclusion of a project, a colleague leaving, or putting the final full stop to a report. But for most of us they’re not everyday occurrences. However, in the freelance world, endings are commonplace; moving in and out of projects happens swiftly, team members come and go, everything shifts constantly. This level of freedom / insecurity comes with the territory. And this kind of ‘gig’ economy is spreading; in a recent report, it was estimated that 40% of USA workers will be independent contractors by 2020. So as gigging grows, endings will become increasingly frequent. And, as a consequence… The way we handle endings will need to change. The experienced freelancer knows that, no matter how often they happen, endings can be troubling to handle. Freelancers get used to them, expect them, learn how to ride the change they bring, even become somewhat detached and observe how others deal with them. But endings can […]

So how do we make good endings?

Life is full of endings, and we experience them in every kind of work, whether it’s the conclusion of a project, a colleague leaving, or putting the final full stop to a report. But for most of us they’re not everyday occurrences.

However, in the freelance world, endings are commonplace; moving in and out of projects happens swiftly, team members come and go, everything shifts constantly.

This level of freedom / insecurity comes with the territory.

And this kind of ‘gig’ economy is spreading; in a recent report, it was estimated that 40% of USA workers will be independent contractors by 2020.

So as gigging grows, endings will become increasingly frequent.

And, as a consequence…

The way we handle endings will need to change.

The experienced freelancer knowsthat, no matter how often they happen, endings can be troubling to handle.

Freelancers get used to them, expect them, learn how to ride the change they bring, even become somewhat detached and observe how others deal with them.

But endings can still hurt.

And even endings that are essentially positive can be followed by a sense of anti-climax, even a kind of grieving.

The trouble is, endings are often made far more difficult than they need to be…and we’re not talking about rancorous, hostile, “I’ll see you in court” type endings here – just the regular kind.

Still, people tend to be a bit rubbish at dealing with them.

And awkward, insensitive, evasive handling of these situations is not only damaging for the individuals concerned, but it never makes good business sense.

So what can you do to make more endings happy?

If you’re in a leadership position – whether that’s leading a huge corporation, or your own one-man band, there are many ways you can make endings better. Here are a couple of key ones:

1. Celebrate

When an ending’s a positive one, and you’ve reason to celebrate, take the opportunity!

Frequently endings get overlooked as we hurriedly do the evaluation, fixate on the problems that arose, rush to write up the report, and move our gaze onto the next project. Celebrating work done and acknowledging the ending isn’t frivolous; it’s a valuable, essential, integral part of a process. It’s how we wrap up, learn, relax, re-charge, and savour what we’ve achieved.

2. Be Brave

When an ending’s not so positive, and you’re in the role of terminator, be direct, communicate with empathy, be brave!

Usually there’s no good reason to fudge things. Avoiding the issue, ducking the responsibility, using euphemisms, passing the buck…these just add insult to injury.

Why create rancour? It not only causes unnecessary hurt to others, but may well come back to haunt you down the line.

We all know that endings happen,

so let’s get better at making them happier.

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/endings/feed/0Happiness is Go! Part 7 – The Conclusion Of Happinesshttps://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-7/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-7/#respondTue, 02 Feb 2016 09:22:08 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=9903Over the last couple of months we’ve been looking at happiness, in the series, Happiness is Go! In this post I’m going to summarise what we’ve discussed, to remind you of the five barriers that block all soft skills and the impact they have on our happiness. If you’d like to read the previous episodes you’ll find them here: Part 1. Introduction To Happiness Is Go! Part 2. Get Out Of That Box Part 3. Getting Happier Relationships Part 4. Down With Being Down Part 5.How To Build Structures For Freedom Part 6.Get Creative…It’s Only Logical In Part 1 we considered what happiness is and what soft skills have got to do with it. I shared one of my favourite definitions of happiness: “Happiness is a deep sense of flourishing, not a mere pleasurable feeling or fleeting emotion but an optimal state of being.” Matthieu Ricard In Part 2 we began our exploration of the barriers, by looking at how we can get ‘boxed in’ by Backward Focus. This is the barrier that arises when we’re dominated by the past. It causes us to live our life according to another’s rules and criteria, rather than relying on our own experience and […]

]]>Over the last couple of months we’ve been looking at happiness, in the series, Happiness is Go!
In this post I’m going to summarise what we’ve discussed, to remind you of the five barriers that block all soft skills and the impact they have on our happiness.

In Part 1 we considered what happiness is and what soft skills have got to do with it. I shared one of my favourite definitions of happiness:

“Happiness is a deep sense of flourishing, not a mere pleasurable feeling or fleeting emotion but an optimal state of being.”
Matthieu Ricard

In Part 2 we began our exploration of the barriers, by looking at how we can get ‘boxed in’ by Backward Focus. This is the barrier that arises when we’re dominated by the past. It causes us to live our life according to another’s rules and criteria, rather than relying on our own experience and interpretation of the here and now. It damages our ability to lead ourselves and others.

“Care about other people’s opinion and you will be their prisoner.”
Tao Te Ching

The second barrier we considered was Inward Focus. This becomes a barrier when we are so caught up in ourselves that we can’t see things from any other perspective than our own. A lack of empathy limits our ability to communicate, to connect, to learn, or to establish meaningful relationships.

“Keep listening. Never become so self-important that you can’t listen to other players.”
John Coltrane

Next we looked at the trickiest of the barriers, Downward Focus. This covert, manipulative barrier acts likes a smiling mask; it hides problems and denies anything is wrong, while it gnaws away at our spirit and our potential. It confuses us and causes us to doubt ourselves.

“As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live.”
Goethe

The fourth barrier we examined was Right Focus. This is the one that can be most seductive, as it’s caused by our apparently benign imagination. But it wastes our time, and means that our ideas will never come to fruition and we’ll be unable to reach our goals. Without clear, effective structures we float through life, like a boat on a river without banks.

“Without structure, there is nothing for creativity to get leverage upon.”
Steven Denning

The final barrier we looked at was the rigid one, Left Focus. This almost doesn’t seem like a barrier, as its form of logic is currently the most respected way of seeing life. The hardest part of overcoming it is to challenge its dominion. But unless we counteract it we’ll never be in balance, nor in tune with the way life actually is. And we’ll be incapable of dealing with uncertainty and rapid change in ways that can bring us happiness.

“We need fewer techies and more poets in our systems design shop. And more artists…and more jazz musicians…and more dancers…period. (Or, rather, consider that an action item).”
Tom Peters

The Conclusion Of Happiness

So those are the five barriers that block all your soft skills, and limit your capacity for happiness.

When you break through these five barriers you will be living life with a balance that enables happiness.

This doesn’t mean that nothing will ever go wrong.

It doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed great wealth, fame, beauty and good luck!

It doesn’t mean you’ll have a permanent smile :)

It doesn’t promise the impossible.

When you break through the five barriers it means that you:

are fully awake

are in harmony with the way life actually is

respond to everything that happens with equanimity

fully appreciate the extraordinary experience of life

make the most of your life

are happy and “…in an optimal state of being.”

It also means that you can break through the sixth barrier. Yes, there is one more…and it’s the icing on the cake of life!

But more of that in future.

“People create barriers between each other… When these barriers have been dissolved there arises one mind, where they are all one unit, but each person also retains his or her own individual awareness.”
Joseph Jaworski

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-7/feed/0Happiness is Go! Part 6 – Get Creative…It’s Only Logicalhttps://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-6/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-6/#respondTue, 26 Jan 2016 09:30:05 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=9885This is the sixth in the series on Happiness and how soft skills can ‘up’ your happiness level. Today we’re looking at the last of the five barriers that block your soft skills and reduce your happiness. This barrier – Left Focus – is obsessed with logic, and blocks off your creative abilities. Breaking through it gets Left Focus into balance, and allows space in your life for creativity, intuition, and serious fun…essential ingredients for a happy life :) So we’ll: consider how to dissolve this rigid barrier look at the impact this has on our happiness learn a simple happiness-habit If you’d like to catch up first with the previous episodes you’ll find them here: Part 1. Introduction To Happiness Is Go! Part 2. Get Out Of That Box Part 3. Getting Happier Relationships Part 4. Down With Being Down Part 5.How To Build Structures For Freedom Left Focus Of course logic is necessary in life. Using our analytical and rational skills is essential in framing and making sense of our reality. In the previous episode we saw how a lack of this objective, structured side of life leads to chaos. But a Left Focus mechanistic approach has […]

]]>This is the sixth in the series on Happiness and how soft skills can ‘up’ your happiness level. Today we’re looking at the last of the five barriers that block your soft skills and reduce your happiness.

This barrier – Left Focus – is obsessed with logic, and blocks off your creative abilities. Breaking through it gets Left Focus into balance, and allows space in your life for creativity, intuition, and serious fun…essential ingredients for a happy life :)

So we’ll:

consider how to dissolve this rigid barrier

look at the impact this has on our happiness

learn a simple happiness-habit

If you’d like to catch up first with the previous episodes you’ll find them here:

Left Focus

Of course logic is necessary in life. Using our analytical and rational skills is essential in framing and making sense of our reality.

In the previous episode we saw how a lack of this objective, structured side of life leads to chaos.

But a Left Focus mechanistic approach has dominated for many years. It has become the norm and has spread to all areas of our lives; from our earliest education it permeates approaches to learning, progress and success.

We are taught that anything that can’t be measured isn’t valuable.
Of course we all know, just by living life, that this isn’t the truth!
But Left Focus is nothing if not persistent.
It’s hard to avoid its influence, and this produces a barrier that cripples our potential and our joy.

“Much of our education seems to have been designed to destroy what is so unique in humanity – the balance between our rational and intuitive selves.”
H.R.H The Prince of Wales

Perhaps the Left Focus emphasis was beneficial when life was more predictable, more repetitive, more stable.

But in times of rapid change, we definitely need different skills…the very skills that Left Focus blocks.

Unfortunately, when us humans are under stress, or trying to handle uncertainty, we tend to default to what we know, what we’re comfortable with.

We’ll convince ourselves that the best strategy is the one we’re familiar with, regardless of its suitability to the situation. So we don’t take risks, or try out anything new, anything that really shifts our way of thinking and living.

But right now the world is undergoing massive upheaval. And if we’re to navigate this uncertain terrain successfully we need to be flexible, innovative, intuitive.

When reality is so ambiguous, Left Focus logic is not our best tool – personally or professionally.

“The organisations of the future will increasingly depend on the creativity of their members to survive.”
Warren Bennis

Hidden In Plain Sight

As discussed in previous episodes, each barrier has a particular challenge when it comes to recognising it – Downward Focus because it’s covert, Right Focus because it seems benign, and so on.

The challenge with Left Focus is that it’s so pervasive we struggle to grasp the damage it does; it seems right because it’s so familiar.

It uses its logic to persuade us of its importance, and has made it hard for us to disagree with it.

The barrier of Left Focus has become normal.

We know through our own experience that, for example, human progress isn’t linear, statistics are often nonsense, ‘more’ doesn’t equal greater happiness, and that the most precious things in life are intangible.

Yet we wholeheartedly buy into the Left Focus illusion.

In doing so, we block off some of our most valuable human assets.

“People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind.”
William Butler Yeats

Business As Usual

Left Focus loves bureaucracy!

It wants outcomes nailed down before anything has started.

It needs to be certain of a route and destination before setting off anywhere, and gets twitchy if there are any detours.

It believes that people should fit into a system, rather than a system be geared to human behaviour.

In fact, it cant stand the muddle that is human behaviour.

We know Left Focus is in control when we:

make a plan and get annoyed if there’s a hitch

won’t take a small risk

are rigid in our thinking

ignore our intuitive responses

never take a detour just to explore

judge and criticise quickly

stick to a strategy even when it’s not working

don’t allow mistakes

“To live a creative life we must lose the fear of being wrong”
Joseph Chilton Pearce

Left Focus – The Controller

When it becomes a barrier, Left Focus:

takes our intuition, imagination, and creativity, and bashes them into submission

dismisses anything that we can’t prove to its satisfaction, by its criteria

looks at our ideas and dreams, and ridicules them

insists we follow its rules

expects us to change to suit its systems and processes

This attitude is pervasive in many organisations. It’s responsible for the ‘this is the way we’ve always done it’ mentality which has seen the downfall not only of companies, but also of entire industries which were blinded by a Left Focus way of thinking.

“Enron executives were meeting their goals. But they were the wrong goals.”
Solange Charas

If an organisation is blighted by Left Focus, the damage will not only affect the organisation as a whole, but also the individuals who work there. Unless we’re in a leadership role there’s little we can do to remove Left Focus from a company culture.

But we can do something about how it affects us personally.

Breaking the Barrier

As with all barriers, identifying the presence of Left Focus and recognising its impact is the first step to breaking through it. For us to do this, the challenge is that Left Focus is considered normal, plus it’s very controlling. And when we stand up to it, we risk ridicule, even if only from ourselves!

One excellent way to break through this barrier is by using its own preferred tool – logic.

There are many truly logical reasons why paying attention to and developing our intuition, our imagination, our creativity makes sound sense, both in business and our personal lives. Gathering these reasons gives us a good arsenal with which to counteract Left Focus.

The skills that are at our disposal once Left Focus has been broken through are the secret to our success in a rapidly changing world. These are the skills that allow us to flow with change, to be flexible and adaptive, to use our intuition as well as our intellect, to be creative, to link disparate ideas and forge new solutions, to be playful and to enjoy life even though it’s ever-shifting beneath our feet.

As Left Focus attempts to harness us, and pull us back into line, we can remind ourselves that trying to tie everything down in a Left Focus way is a neurotic, fearful response to life.

Yes, it is the currently accepted paradigm…

But does it make sense?

And does it make us happy?

What about choosing a different approach, one that works in harmony with the reality of life.

“We can try to control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability, always hoping to be comfortable and safe. But the truth is that we can never avoid uncertainty.”
Pema Chodron

Happiness Habit: Be Creative

To develop this week’s happiness habit, do small things differently.

It’s that simple!

As you go through your day, be aware of the ‘grooves’ you fall into.

Then shift them.

For example:

Always get up at the same time? Set the clock a little earlier

Listen to the radio? Put on a radio station you’ve never heard

Eat breakfast? Try something different

Walk to work? Take a different route

Never read a newspaper? Buy one that’s not of your political bent

Always go to the same shops? Go into a type of shop you’ve not been in before

Keep yourself to yourself? Strike up a random conversation

And so on…

Try to notice and then nudge yourself out of your routines, in small ways.

Listen to what Left Focus has to say about it…

And counteract it with logic of your own.

Remember…

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
Albert Einstein

Next week we’ll look back over this series on Happiness, and wrap it up in a big cheery bow!

Meanwhile, if you’d like to share any of your creative experiences I’d love to hear about them.

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-6/feed/0Happiness is Go! Part 5 – Structure Is Sexy – Honest :)https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-5/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-5/#respondTue, 19 Jan 2016 09:30:24 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=9870This is the fifth in the series on Happiness and how soft skills can ‘up’ your happiness level. Today we’re go to tackle the barrier that blocks the soft skills that give our life structure. Now maybe you’re really organised and on top of all things admin, in which case this barrier probably isn’t a major problem for you. Or perhaps you thrive on chaos, in which case this barrier will make you incredibly happy! But probably you’re somewhere between the two… If you’d like to catch up first with the previous episodes you’ll find them here: Part 1. Introduction To Happiness Is Go! Part 2. Get Out Of That Box Part 3. Getting Happier Relationships Part 4. Down With Being Down The barrier of Right Focus appears relatively harmless, as it’s caused when our imagination is dominating our behaviour, which sounds sort of okay, right. Wrong! If our imagination is in totally control we can’t organise anything, we waste loads of time, do a lot less than we’re capable of, and drive people crazy…including ourself! “Do we not find freedom Along the guiding lines of discipline?” Yehudi Menuhin So today let’s: consider how to dissolve this deceptive barrier look […]

The barrier of Right Focus appears relatively harmless, as it’s caused when our imagination is dominating our behaviour, which sounds sort of okay, right.

Wrong!

If our imagination is in totally control we can’t organise anything, we waste loads of time, do a lot less than we’re capable of, and drive people crazy…including ourself!

“Do we not find freedom Along the guiding lines of discipline?”
Yehudi Menuhin

So today let’s:

consider how to dissolve this deceptive barrier

look at the impact this will have on our happiness

learn a simple happiness-habit

Right Focus is Cool-ish

Right Focus has a pretty cool image. After all, it’s about using our imagination, about being creative.
It’s the non-linear, the abstract, the intuitive.
It’s about having ideas.
So that’s a good thing isn’t it?

Well, yes it is. And Right Focus is extremely valuable, when it’s in balance with the other Focuses.
But when it starts to dominate, Right Focus turns into a barrier.

“The value of an idea lies in the using of it.”
Thomas Edison

Having ideas is easy.
Everyone has them…
Lots of them.
Ideas are cheap.

“Ideas are a dime a dozen. People who implement them are priceless.”
Mary Kay Ash

Often we believe that we’re special for having an idea.
We get all puffed up thinking our idea is a big deal.
But an idea is just a thought.
It only exists in our imagination, in our mind.
And that’s where the idea will stay, if the barrier of Right Focus is dominating our life.
How much value does an idea have, if it doesn’t get turned into form?

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.”
Buddha

Not Sexy

Being organised, having efficient systems, building a framework – these things just aren’t very ‘sexy’ are they! They’re not what people generally aspire to or get excited about.

Still, imagine that you’re responsible for a huge building’s foundations…

Nobody can see your work.
You can’t show it off to anyone.
You won’t impress or amuse party guests, who only want to hear about the magnificent building they can see.

But you know what the most important part of that building is.
You know what will happen if your foundation’s shaky…
The big shiny building will come tumbling down.

It might be more interesting to talk about a shiny idea, even if it’s yet to be constructed.

And the functional skills and effort needed to actually build it may not seem as appealing.

But unless you have the right tools to build a strong foundation and structure, the idea will never even become a reality.

And there’s nothing sexy about that.

“Everyone who’s ever taken a shower has an idea. It’s the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference.”
Nolan Bushnell

Right Focus Chatter

When Right Focus turns into a barrier it convinces us that structure is unnecessary.

It reckons that doing all that admin work is way too dull. “Oh must I”, it will groan, “It’s soooo bore-ring.”

It will drag its heels, and remind us that “you’re really not any good at being organised”, because “you’re too creative.”

It will tell us that we’re “not very efficient” because we’re “a free spirit.”

And that being late is, well, “fashionable.”

And keeping to a schedule is “just so square.”

It will persuade us that it’s “not in our nature”, for whatever reason, to have structure in our life.

With all its chattering, Right Focus keeps us looking busy, while we’re…

faffing around

showing up late

being unreliable

eschewing plans

getting sucked into unnecessary activities

ever-changing our goals

procrastinating

Meanwhile, our ideas loll about as fantasies, waiting to be transformed into form.

Time Eater

Right Focus is the reason we get to the end of a day, a week, a year, a life, and wonder, “Where the heck did that go? I didn’t do what I wanted to do, yet I’ve been really busy.”

Right Focus keeps us going around in circles, like a goldfish in its bowl, a hamster on a wheel, or my cat Bill chasing his tail.

This barrier eats our time…the most precious thing we have.

“One of the very worst uses of time is to do something very well That need not to be done at all.”
Brian Tracy

Breaking The Barrier

Each barrier presents it’s own challenge when it comes to breaking through it. Whereas it’s hard to spot Downward Focus, for example, and therefore a challenge to tackle it head on, Right Focus is usually easy to see.

So if we’re always late, or lose things, or live in a perpetual muddle, or don’t achieve our goals, we’ll be aware of it…even if we don’t recognise it as a barrier.

But we’ll have been living with these Right Focus behaviours, and trying to deal with them, change them, adapt them, justify them, or give in to them.

If Right Focus is in our life it’s likely that:

We’ve beaten ourselves up about it – and others will have too!

We believe it’s part of our personality, and something we can’t alter

We become attached to it because:

We can get others to do things for us (”you’re so much better at it than me”)

We use it as an excuse for not taking risks (”I’ve got a brilliant idea for a book, but I just can’t get it together to write it”)

We identify with it (”ah, it’s the Italian / artist / Pisces in me”)

We’ve tried to rectify it, buying time management books (that we don’t have time to read), setting goals (that we promptly forget), making plans (pretty on paper…never make it off the page)

We’ve found ourselves back at Square One…with an added dollop of feeling lousy about ourselves

When we break through this barrier we make more of our time, our ideas, and our energy.

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”
Thomas Merton

Happiness Habit: Getting Structure

Perhaps more than any of the other barriers, Right Focus is shifted by a change in our mindset. So rather than suggesting a specific happiness-habit, I’d like to offer some ‘mindset-shifting’ thoughts, which will spur you on to take action and break through this time-wasting barrier.

Contemplate the following ideas about Right Focus, see how they apply to your life, and use them as the basis for change:

It’s not an inherent personality defect that causes our Right Focus behaviours – it’s a barrier

As the barrier is removed the smorgasbord of time-wasting behaviours will change as one

The barrier of Right Focus is full of excuses – but once we’re aware of them we can choose whether or not to buy into them

We are ill-prepared to organise ourselves – throughout our formative years others were in control of our schedule. We need to learn these skills for ourself

We must find what structures work for us as individuals, rather than struggling to make ourselves fit into any structure. We can experiment and see what sticks

There are great benefits to doing this work, particularly in terms of our most precious resource…time

Developing our structures is not a boring chore, but an essential part of the creative process

“In every job that must be done There is an element of fun You find the fun and snap! The job’s a game.”
Mary Poppins

Next time we’ll be looking at the fifth and final barrier, Left Focus. This is the one to break through for maximum creativity and all the good things that brings :)

]]>https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-5/feed/0Happiness is Go! Part 4 – Down With Being Downhttps://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-4/
https://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/happiness-is-go-part-4/#respondTue, 12 Jan 2016 09:30:07 +0000http://www.barrierbreakers.co.uk/?p=9851This is the fourth in the series on Happiness and how soft skills can ‘up’ your happiness level. Today we’re considering the trickiest of the five barriers that block soft skills, and seeing how breaking through it releases our most powerful ‘happiness-inducing’ abilities. If you’d like to catch up with the previous episodes you’ll find them here: Part 1. Intro To Happiness Part 2. Get Out Of That Box Part 3. Getting Happier Relationships The barrier in question is Downward Focus. This barrier is often hidden, always devious, and sometimes downright dangerous. It can play its devilish tricks without us even being aware of it, reducing our confidence and self-motivation, diminishing our ability to promote ourselves and our work, and dampening our spirits and enjoyment of life. There’s no chance to be happy while Downward Focus is hanging around! So we’ll: consider how to dissolve this dastardly barrier look at the impact this will have on our happiness learn a simple happiness-habit What Is Downward Focus? It’s a given that we’ll go through times in our life when an underlying issue clouds everything else. When we’re dealing with bereavement, illness, divorce, or any catastrophe or upheaval, then Downward Focus will […]

The barrier in question is Downward Focus. This barrier is often hidden, always devious, and sometimes downright dangerous.

It can play its devilish tricks without us even being aware of it, reducing our confidence and self-motivation, diminishing our ability to promote ourselves and our work, and dampening our spirits and enjoyment of life.

There’s no chance to be happy while Downward Focus is hanging around!

So we’ll:

consider how to dissolve this dastardly barrier

look at the impact this will have on our happiness

learn a simple happiness-habit

What Is Downward Focus?

It’s a given that we’ll go through times in our life when an underlying issue clouds everything else. When we’re dealing with bereavement, illness, divorce, or any catastrophe or upheaval, then Downward Focus will be dominating all our behaviour.

And that’s it’s rightful place.

Because at such times those issues need to be given our attention, and even though the shadow will cover everything else for a while, this blanket focus will enable us to navigate our way through turbulent times, and come out safely – and often wiser – the other side.

But Downward Focus becomes a barrier when our attention is drawn by the ‘shadow’, the dark side, the hidden, or the unacknowledged part of ourselves or others, at times when it’s not of benefit to us.

It becomes a barrier when it’s of no help, when it consumes us without supporting us, when we’re unaware that it’s dominating us, when it has a detrimental impact on our life and ruins our happiness.

“Everyone carries a shadow, And the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”
Carl Jung

Catch Me If You Can

The hardest aspect of this barrier is recognising it. Sometimes it’s obvious; more often it’s covert.

For example, you might understand that frequent, aggressive anger is undesirable, but would you realise that being too nice, being a ‘people-pleaser’ can be just as damaging? One is an ‘in your face’ expression of an underlying problem, while the other is more subtle in its display. But both have profoundly destabilising consequences.

being uncomfortable around someone (”It must be me because everyone else thinks he’s absolutely wonderful”)

While it’s difficult to identify our own Downward Focus, it’s even more difficult to identify it in others.

As an extreme example, it is known that 4% of the population are sociopaths – these are not the crazed killers who are featured in movies, but people who look perfectly normal, yet have no conscience.

Sociopaths are calculating, manipulative, and usually charming. They play on people’s hopes and fears, and take advantage of others’ good nature.
They create havoc in a way that leaves no trace, because they don’t allow anyone to see behind their mask.

In fact, these individuals are Downward Focus in action!

Business Barrier

We also need to be aware of Downward Focus in organisations, where malpractice or corruption can be hidden behind a shiny corporate or charitable façade.

In too many companies, Downward Focus causes a breeding ground for workplace bullying and employee stress, particularly if it’s at the management or leadership level.

If you’re working in such an organisation, you may not be able to pin the problem down to any one individual, but you’ll be aware that something is amiss with the overall culture.

“Company transformations must begin With shifts that take place inside human beings.”
Judith E. Glaser

Smoke and Mirrors

It’s the ‘smoke and mirrors’ nature of Downward Focus that makes it challenging to identify and deal with. But while it takes many forms, its impact has certain similarities – and these are how we catch Downward Focus out!

The most easily discernible impact is confusion.

If Downward Focus is lurking, we’ll get a lingering question mark in our mind, a tense gut feeling, an unease, a sense that what we’re seeing is not aligned to what we’re getting.

We’re not encouraged to listen to our intuition, or taught how to respect our gut reactions. But if we don’t want to fall prey to Downward Focus we need to develop these skills and, above all else, learn to trust ourselves.

“The only real valuable thing is intuition.”
Albert Einstein

Breaking The Barrier

Dissolving the barrier of Downward Focus is difficult.
Sorry!
We tend to want everything to be easy, cheap, fast, and really simple nowadays, so ‘difficult’ is not a great selling point is it!

But it’s the truth.

However, it’s only difficult because breaking this barrier really shakes things up! And we tend to find the status quo more appealing than shake-ups – even if the status quo is killing us!

“Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul”
Mark Twain

To avoid change we’ll duck down, deny, look the other way, hide our eyes, hum loudly to ourselves! But breaking through the barrier of Downward Focus demands that we grow-up…and shine a light on the darkest places.

Our Reward

Once we’ve recognised Downward Focus is at play in our life, and we decide to take action, we’ll have to make big decisions.

This could mean:

changing our behaviour and upsetting others who’d prefer we stayed as we are

“The truth will set you free But first it will piss you off”
Gloria Steinem

Removing Downward Focus is scary. It will shake things up and make us leave familiar things behind. But we gain far more than we lose.

And the reward if we have the courage to break through this tough barrier?

It’s happiness…

Standing up to this barrier requires, and therefore builds, confidence, self-motivation, and assertiveness.

We get closer to who we are, and become free to concentrate on our truth, our potential, and our direction, rather than being distracted and twisted out of shape by the forceful, negative drag of Downward Focus.

Happiness Habit: Trust Yourself

As mentioned, the key to breaking through the barrier of Downward Focus is trust – and especially trusting yourself.

So to develop this week’s happiness habit:

Pay more attention to your intuitive responses

Be aware of your gut reactions to people and situations in your life

When you have an uncomfortable feeling, don’t try to make it better or cover it up – dig deeper into it…it has valuable information for you