I’ve been thinking of doing it for some time, but today is the day. Sarah and Catherine are napping, and though there are bills to pay and cleaning to be done, I’ve decided to see what happens. And why now? Because there are allergies.

Catherine has allergies. Not just a few, either. NINE. And not just to a small degree. MAJOR! Let me see if I can even remember them all. She’s allergic to milk, soy, beef, pork, egg, peanuts, shellfish… nope, I can’t even remember them all. This entire weekend, I’ve kept grilling myself. I’ve not remembered them all even once. So, how the heck am I supposed to keep her safe from them if I can’t even remember them?

I remember the two she’s not allergic to – corn and strawberries. Thank God for something, right?

So, it’s not enough that we have to deal with a medically prescribed diet to control her seizures. Now, she’s allergic to the main ingredient in that diet – milk! But she’s been on the ketogenic diet for more than 3 years. How can she be allergic to milk now?

I hope our nutritionist and allergist can figure it out, that’s for sure.

So, as I’ve thought about this, I’ve replayed a conversation I had with a friend on Friday when I learned this news:

You know, I remember one of our NICU nurses saying, ‘Wow, I wish y’all could catch a break.’ I remember thinking, “We did, she lived.” But now I find myself really, really, really wishing we could catch a break. It sorta sucks, ya know?

All weekend, I’ve thought about that conversation. Even with the allergies, we’ve caught so many breaks. Catherine is at Delrey for the summer. We’re paying for her tuition in the hopes they’ll be able to help and she’ll show progress that will indicate the county is not an appropriate place for her education. We have a full schedule of nurses at night. I’m employed. Brian is an amazing Dad. Sarah laughs. We’ve caught more breaks than many. And Catherine is still alive – and growing and learning to do new things like push a switch with her foot.

So, like the title I chose for this blog, we’ll just have to wait and see about these allergies….

Hi, I’m Ellen

I’m just a mom making my way, but my way is a little different. And yet, very much the same. I have a 13-year-old daughter, Catherine, who was born at 25 weeks and weighed one pound, nine ounces. Despite a very severe brain bleed, she lived and inspires me every day with all she works so hard to do... Read More…