There is No Done

I am, admittedly, an advocate of embracing change. Change is a fundamental process in our lives (hell in the universe) and to attempt to hold it back is a colossal waste of resources. Instead we can endeavor to use a fraction of that energy to guide that change in ways that are most beneficial for all life, including ourselves.

I am, as many of us all are, in the throws of tremendous change. A fundamental shift. One that I, at first, resisted out of fear. Now I (in my better moments) embrace and guide.

Some of this has been amazing, like eating my grandma’s pancakes. Some of it has been horrible, like being welded to the floor in pain.

And this morning, while meditating, I found this thought floating around.

“When will we be done?”

At first, I was struck by it. It goes against much of what I consciously believe.

Curiously, I began to investigate it. What was it attached to? What did it mean?

I found it was attached to achievement. When will I attain the next level, goal, finish line? This makes sense, as I’ve been achievement oriented for much of my life. Often at the expense of the journey.

I found it attached to perfectionism. When will I be perfect, so that others will love me? Wow. That is an old, stubborn thought that I haven’t consciously seen in a while, yet obviously is swimming along in the unconscious stream. I have a bit of narcissism and insecurity down there that are still dissolving.

I found it attached to rest. Okay, I get it. This body and mind are exhausted. They’ve been pushed hard and are ready for true rest. That is a cycle that I can appreciate. Just like exercise, there must be a time of stress and a time for recovery. Taking care of that now.

In this discovery, I learned more about myself. Where I am today, what is lurking beneath the surface and what I need in this moment.

I am not done. I do not need to be. The cycles and waves continue. I surf and guide them, to the best of my ability.

I hope you take space today for yourself. Maybe you’ll have an insight. Maybe you’ll feel a bit of peace. Maybe you’ll connect more deeply with yourself.