Pages

copyright notice

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It all happened differently than I’d dreamedBut I never dared disagree, with all that seemedStaring at the ceiling laying on a mattress in winterMy motel room is cheap and I shiveredCovered poorly with blanket of fearFor the words I heard from you lips tear away the yearsWhat is there of living if there is nothing leftWhat is there of me if my heart has been cleftInto two broken pieces and the tears pour downWhat is there to seek if the object doesn’t existExcept in memory in lingering miseryI begged your indulgence and got a foot in the face I begged your forgiveness, blood was the tasteIn my mouthMy dreams had all flown South, I drove all the way with all I hadOnly to find that my car was dead, my dreams were fleetingMy faith was still strong but the object I was seeking was goneNever existed maybe, gave me false hope of something all alongFallen dreams never mend but they function the same anywayNow I am weary without restBut she wouldn’t know for to her I do not existShe wouldn’t care for my dreams persist nonetheless

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

How am I supposed to lead my son to wisdom
When I am flawed to my very core
How am I supposed to teach and live in peace
When the world wages war
Who is able to rise above
When this world is broken
Who is the one, who will reach out in love
With love so flowing
Because it isn’t me
I am emptied of everything
It isn’t me and won’t be me
Despite my love for him
We have a green and blue planet
Polluted to be grey
We have a wonderful place to live
That we’ve filled with hate
I want him to be different
Than me or anyone
But how can I teach him
When all I believe comes undone
There is no blame in me
I am not pointing fingers in rage
I am simply asking
Who knows the way
I don’t know the way
No one knows the way
He was born into a generation
Innocent of our crimes
But they were swimming
In the dangerous tides
In another generation’s moral debt
From the wages of our culture wars
And terroristic threats
Building and killing
Taking without giving
How can we lead anyone
When you or he
Can see how we are living

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Anorexic of lovePurging of regretEngender the sufferingAnd wait for the resultsYou could die of hungerIn this feast of the deadWaiting to be rescuedBeing lost insteadTolerate the foolsAnd doom they will seekAnd we will be coveredIn crimson red so freshThe dead will not speakBut their pathways of willWe will see their rushInto the factoriesOf fleshWhere humanity rotsSpirals downwardCrushing the soulsBeneathOf their last breathFilled with regretFaces covered in tearsTheir bodies beneath the tideOf fetid beingsWithout sparkArm and arm enmeshedWe dance into oblivionAnd when the end comesWe will enter obsidianWith no voiceBut for our own fearsAnd that we step into the darknessThe doorway of the years

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Pounding my fists into the ground
I am aware of the dreams calling
But I am no longer here
The darkness is a hole into which I crawled
I am imprisoned in fears so clear
Let the rain and lightning fall
Let the thunder rumble and rage
Let the world be deluged
Wash us release us renew us
From the years to be shed
Release us from this earthy cage
What is left but crimson tears
Arms wide spread let our words raise
Up to the angry heavens
We are broken and need hope
For there is none in our arms
Please send for us to embrace
Hope, please send
Pour down the rains
Clean me so that I am pure
To the taste of holy lips
Make me a beautiful scent
An aroma that pleases
Make me an incense candle
Held by your holy hand
I’ve been ripped apart
Take me and place me upon your altar
Lift up my name,
Place it upon your heart deeply
For I worship you
Look down upon me
With mercy?

Friday, September 11, 2009

This is not about my life, this is a metaphor for an event, and the passing consequences that followed. I am not the speaker, I am taking the voice of the speaker, it is fiction.

I met with loneliness After the affairWhen I realized There was no one out thereAnd never would beHowever it might be unfairThe love in my soul was harvestedMade to be my flawTurned against meRelentlesslyBy someone who said they caredWhat is my life forBut to share in loveWhat is my heart to doIf not be trueBut there are pigs at the troughWho take more than their shareOver and over my heart was robbedBecause it was openAnd unawareThat people like her existedThat people like her could sayThey’d love me forever and leaveBecause I could never compareTo those who she could meetEvery place everywhereBut now I seeDespite a thorn in my eyeI cannot seeThrough your disguiseI will never beThe one you wantSo thrown awayWith my life you hauntMy every move betrayed

Monday, August 10, 2009

God only knows what you believe, God only knows God only knows what you do, God only knowsBut you think that you do tooNot matter how you deceiveYour lies again are nothing specialNothing new to youNothing different, so don’t you grieveIt doesn’t matter if its trueYou said you believed in herWhen it so otherwise the caseYou said that you loved herAnd you said it to her faceGod only knows, God only knowsHow can you justify what you doHow can you be without a clueYou have to be the one who lives your lifeI’d never tell you to be someone elseBut do you realize just what you areYou destroy everything but yourselfYou consume everyone else’s mental healthI walk through life wounded and bloodyYou get off without a scratchBut I don’t envy youOr the things you do

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My words are that of a King
The King of Liars
I am the King of a Kingdom
Filled with love and desire
To serve my people, here,
From my throne in this Asylum
They pad my throne in good trust but
They don’t let me write with pencils or pens here
So I use my bloody fingers upon the walls
They don’t give me paper due to the chance of cuts
But I bleed anyway
Then they wash my words away
With blast hoses used for fires
The straitjacket holds me as if I might fall
But the real straitjacket is inside
Where I am held aloft by tether wires
To make sure I do not drown
In their world I am paralyzed
And I scream without sounds
I see things that do not exist
I hear voices that surely insist
That the place I am here
Would be better off
With me deceased
And I cannot resist
The lure of the shallow grave
Once empty but now I am saved
By its welcoming comforts
By its solitary love instead of hate
By its empty bed
Welcomes me living and
Still I crave despite my survival
To be someplace else, instead
My arrival was unheralded
My passing will be unreported
For I solely long to be
A King of a Kingdom
Away from this happy place
This living wound
This Asylum

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I fear thatWhatever I doMy suffering will be in vainNothing can last, Some things die slowly, not fastDancing to a beatA drumbeat for the deadHer love lacked passionIf that is what you’d call itI was alone,waiting in the solitudeBegging for deathOr some small measureOf satisfactionHer perfumes fill the airAnd her beauty is a distractionFrom all my pain due to herMy mind is broken, My spirit crushedI have nothing left, Had so very little to start She tore apart my heartI never had a chanceNothing I do could lastNothing I do could matterFor to her I was a childNeeding directionRather than a loverNeeding compassionSwiftly falling bitter tearsCannot wash the yearsFrom memoryNor replace actionOr attractionShe treated me as a strangerShowed me not love but angerNothing I said matteredEverything I did scatteredTo the windsYears of pain Seeds of sorrowBroken loveNot togetherNo tomorrowNot everNeverThe ties she severedLeaving me adriftWith no hopeDevastated, bereftLeft behind aloneBroken spiritHeart cleft Cut in halfBy herNever going to trustAnyone againNever going to loveAnyone againThe fear will remainForeverLove turned to dustFor I gave my heartFor I gave my soulTo herTo keepAnd she took themAnd leftLeft me to dieMy tears forever fallPour down across my chestThese tears that I cryStain the groundFor they are acidFrom the bitternessOf the pain in my heart

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

"And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever. (Revelation 20:10)"

When the tempest has endedWhen the world is cinder and ashAll the temptations shreddedAnd Angels reveal the fates that have been castWill come a day when all is newWill spawn a world, perfect as createdAll the victims acquitted by truthRedeemed by faith and graceAnd the old world will be annihilatedBy the one who created it, to beginBy the one who knows no endBy the one who destroyed Satan, the BeastAnd all his kinA new world will comeAnd I am hopingThat despite my sinDespite my ruinI am right within

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The mourning wails for the recent deadIntermingle with the cries of the newbornsThe living share their space with the passing soulsWho are in transit from this place to the nextAnd there is a sweet communion between themAs one leaves for the Elysian fieldsAnd the other has to find a wayFor here upon earthSanctuary never existsExcept those who create itExcept for those who seek Some souls never shall find itFor the broken wings of their spiritCannot lift them to that havenCannot allow them to escapeAnd the world keeps spinningHowever well we partakeIn the offerings, of the wayOf life, as it passes byAs it passes bySome are lost behind the veilSome are washed beneath the wavesAs time moves on, nothing remains That isn’t swept away in the tidesAnd cast out to sea

They thrustBlame upon meI am shamed by their voiceBut I never did what they sayI cannot escape their viewsOr faulty memoriesI can never be the sameJust a moment of trust would go nicelyTo soothe the wounds they’ve openedOn meA moment of trust so distant and lostThey won’t let me be, againI am broken beyond repairBlame upon meShame upon meI could explain but it doesn’t matterThey’ve as much as framed meThey’ve judged me as being wrongAnd it doesn’t matter a damnTruth is trumped by angerOver and over again.

Welcome

I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.