Not so much of a quantum spin as a sub-atomic saunter.

June 19th, 2003

You suck big donkay balls! How do I know this? Well, it's several things. One, you never clean up the donkey when you are done, and the dried saliva makes him itch. When the donkey then tries to scratch, making it look like he is humbing the fence, it leaves him very chafed and irritable. That, and it leaves ass hairs on your face.

Perhaps you should suck your own balls instead. This would greatly improve your flexibity, and would be a great party trick. While I'm sure your balls are not as "fullfilling", it would be the kindest thing to do.

You know what I am tired of? Watching TV, particularly cartoons, and having that stupid "moral of the story" moment. There for, I will be on the look out for the immoral of the story. Let's look at the immorals of some cartoons:

GI Joe: If you can become the leader of a terrorist organisation, you can threaten the world, blow shit up, and never get caught. I think Osama was a Cobra fan.

Smurfs: If you are an evil asshole, more women are available to you. Gargamel associated with a few different witchs over the years. He never got any, because he had no style, but the opertunity was there. If you were a smurf, you only had smurfette, and you hadto share her with a hundred other smurfs. Some serious sloppy seconds.

Batmen: one needs chemical or mechanical aids to be strong and manly and successful. Is there one person on the show who does not have a mechanical or chemical aid of some sort, who is even worth mentioning?

Superman: Evil pays! Lex is da man!

Spiderman: Once again, evil pays! Look at Kingpin.

Sure the hero foils the vilian now and again, but we know, for their operations to be as big as they are, the villians must succeed many times for each episode we see the hero win. It's basic logic. If the hero's were successful, the supervillians wouldn't exist in the first place, or last long. But there they are, season after season, with an unending supply of henchmen, cash, and women. That's the immoral of the story.

How this came about, no one knows. But I suspect it comes from aliens. Only men have Y chomosomes. Aliens are all about anal probes. And how many guys have you known that didn't have the urge to do a little "probing" of their own?