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Friday, February 07, 2014

Three years ago today, I lost my daddy. Two years ago yesterday, I lost my best friend.

Here's the thing. The anniversaries are hard in a way. In another way though, they are really good. I look at the pictures. I talk about them. I think about them.
And the pictures? Are of happy times. The stories are funny. The memories are good.

Every anniversary is another year that we've made it when it seemed impossible that we wouldn't. We move forward and learn what it means to have somebody live on in our hearts.

I used to want to punch people in the face when they would say something like that. It's one of those things you have to get to yourself. Most days I'm there. Most days I can go through the pictures and think of Daddy and Susan and smile instead of cry. Do I miss them? Sure. Do I still want to call them all the time? Of course. But I can't. So be it.

This is what I have. A lot of wonderful memories. The knowledge that I had a daddy who loved me more than I could ever know and a best friend who always saw the good in me when I couldn't. And I had them for over 30 years. Insert cliches here. They are all true.

One thing I do is attach myself to songs that really hit me in the gut. And I sing them. Over and over. It's therapeutic for me. This isn't meant to be a sad trip down memory lane. It's just something I've been singing lately that makes me think of Susan. And anytime I get a chance to just sit and think about her is good for me.

Many thanks to Kevin who did everything but the piano and vocals. He even used Pro Tools which he hates. He's awesome.