Twitter / atb20

Monday, June 05, 2006

motivation

so, it's now june. i should be spending what free time i have scouring monster.com and hospital websites. i should be hard at work finding future employment, and here i am sitting on my rear, looking at townhouses online. why? because my father has somewhat casually suggested that i might be able to go into business renovating townhouses with his assistance. apparently, some folks he knows are planning to start work on a couple of buildings in the west village, and what for him might be an interesting investment opportunity might, for me, be a great learning opportunity. at this point there are far more questions than answers: not the least of which is how would mil and i survive financially while i'm learning these valuable skills? and what does this mean for my planned social work career?

well, at this point, it makes most social work jobs look downright lousy. maybe its where i am in my internship... getting geared up for "termination" with my clients as two youngsters i've been seeing are still in serious jeopardy. the stress of this work is getting to me, and i don't know if i have the emotional reserves to deal with such difficult populations. granted i am only doing this two days a week at this point, so there is also the added tension of not really being available for my clients as much as i would like to be in addition to the exhaustion from switching back and forth between work, internship, and class. it's possible that these other factors are clouding my judgment of a career in social work.

but on the other hand, i've always found architecture and design interesting. i love wandering the streets of new york and seeing how people live, imagining myself preparing a meal in a sprawling chef's kitchen in a charming townhouse with immense casement windows facing a quiet cobblestone street. or lounging on a couch with a martini in a sparse soho loft with towering warehouse windows facing a bustling spring street below. whenever i see a stately older building suffering from years of abuse and neglect, i imagine grabbing a sander and some paint and bringing it back to its former grandeur. of course at this point i don't have the money or the time, so someone offering both would be a dream come true.

i don't know what's so alluring about it, but i really can't focus on social work jobs at all anymore. fortunately, architecture for one reason or another hasn't had that much of a pull -- maybe it was hearing your stories from your brief bout of architecture school. (though you also had to live in l.a. which is my own personal idea of hell.) good thing you had a great reason to escape!

perhaps not architecture, but development? i could see you doing that moosk. but i think you're also just on school burnout. it's easier to focus on your clients when you don't also have classes hanging overhead i bet.hey- what are you doing july 4?