Leather Spinsters Newsletter December 2005 Edition

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Everyone seek the key to happiness outwardly
but only the wise know it lies within.!
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Comments

Did you know happiness was the most common answer to the question, what is it you desire most in your life?
If so many people have this desire why is it so few actually know how to attain it? My guess is modern humans
have lost the ability to define happiness and the consequence of this loss is a life spent trying to find it.

As you might have guessed the focus of this month's newsletter will be on HAPPINESS. We read about it, we dream
about it, and yes we even talk about it, but do we really know what it is and how to attain it in our lives?

In the spirit of the season I wanted to give you, my faithful readers something to something to ponder, or just maybe, to apply in your life to make it more than you could've ever imagined. A means of finding lasting happiness in your lives.
Seasons Greetings,

Some people believe that achieving happiness is the purpose of
life, yet the pursuit of happiness often leads to unhappiness.
This is because happiness is actually a consequence of a
different life purpose ? the pursuit of evolving our souls in
our ability to love ourselves and others.

When achieving happiness is your goal, you might pursue this in
three different ways:

1) You might pursue momentary pleasure, believing that your
happiness is the same as pleasure. When this is your belief,
you might pursue happiness through substances such as alcohol,
drugs, nicotine, or food. Or you might pursue happiness through
activities such as sex, spending or gambling.

2) If you believe that your happiness is attached to money and
the outcome of things regarding money, you might pursue control
over outcomes through spending most of your time working, as
well as accumulating and managing money.

3) If you believe that your happiness is attached to people,
you might pursue control over getting love, approval,
attention, admiration, or acknowledgement.

While momentary pleasure feels good, it is just momentary.
Which means that you need to keep on doing whatever you believe
will bring you happiness, over and over. This is what creates
addictions ? the pursuit of what you believe will avoid pain
and bring pleasure. The problem is that none of these pursuits
bring deep and abiding happiness, because their affects are
always momentary.

True happiness is not the result of DOING, but of a way of
BEING. Rather than being a result of the momentary pleasures of
the outside world, it is the result of your intention to evolve
daily as a loving human being.

What does this mean?

This means that ongoing happiness is the result of choosing the
spiritual path of kindness, compassion, understanding, and
acceptance.

Yet it is not enough to express kindness and compassion toward
others. Many have tried this and still end up feeling empty and
angry when the deep happiness they desire continues to elude
them.

The path toward happiness starts with opening to learning about
what is most loving and compassionate toward YOURSELF. You can
have all the things that people believe will bring happiness ?
money, a good relationship, a family, work you enjoy ? yet if
you are critical and judgmental toward yourself instead of
accepting and compassionate with yourself, you will not feel
happy.

Imagine a child who seemingly has everything ? tons of toys,
the best schools, great vacations, lots of friends. But imagine
that this child has parents who ignore him or her, or who are
very critical, judgmental and controlling of him or her. This
child will not be happy, no matter how many external things he
or she has.

Imagine that this child is you ? the feelings within you. How
are you treating this child? How do you treat your feelings? Do
you ignore your feelings and cover them over with substance or
process addictions? Are you judgmental of yourself, constantly
telling yourself that you are not good enough, that you are
inadequate in some way?

Ignoring yourself or judging yourself will always lead to
unhappiness, so matter how much you have in the external world
or how loving you are to others. Until you decide to start
treating yourself the way you want others to treat you, deep
and abiding happiness will elude you. As long as you are
treating yourself the way your parents may have treated you or
themselves, you will continue to feel the emptiness and
aloneness that comes from self-abandonment.

If you want to experience true happiness, then start to pay
attention to your own feelings with a deep desire to learn
about what you are doing or not doing that is causing your pain
and unhappiness. Happiness will be the natural consequence of
your willingness to take full, 100% responsibility for your own
feelings, and learn about and take action regarding what truly
brings you joy,

About The Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of
eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
You? and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE
Inner Bonding course::
http://www.innerbonding.com

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