What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life. It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in relationship building
(10)

As you settle into couplehood, a dynamic begins to occur as you define who you are as a couple and get to know who you are as individuals. The need for space and autonomy set in—you want to re-establish your individuality and power that was temporarily lost in the excitement of phase one. On the other hand, the need for security and trust increases as you become aware of your deep attachment to your significant other. A dance begins that vacillates between seeking each other and seeking yourself—holding on your connection with each other while maintaining a sense of power and control. How this dance occurs depends on the two individuals involved.
So what does an onion have to do with this? As you begin to experience each other in more intimate and revealing ways, you begin to peel away at the layers—you reveal your respective deepest wounds and insecurities, you feel the impact of each other’s defense mechanisms, and you see each other’s true character in motion. This is the core of phase two. This is where the real work begins. This is when you make choices that will determine the outcome of the relationship, or at the very least, its trajectory.
Let me share an example.

There’s a lot we can learn from a dog. And if you are a dog lover or have a dog, then you know exactly what I mean. One of the best teachers I’ve had in the area of love is my dog Shlomo. I know, funny name, long story. Shlomo has taught me many things just as I suspect your dog has taught you. So today I thought I’d let Shlomo do the sharing. This is what he has to say on the subject of love and relationships or better yet, this is what I’ve learned from him.

I have worked with many people over the past 25 years. Inevitably, most people simply want to get “there.” They want to arrive. They want to put the work in but in the end they want to find balance, peace, and happiness. As much as I would love to say I can take them there, in truth, I cannot. No one can. Life is about everything EXCEPT equilibrium and stability. Life is about cycles, rhythms, and a constant search for balance. Life never stands still. Your relationships will never stand still either.
Today’s article is about embracing the rhythm and cycles of life. As you settle into couplehood, a few things happen.

I took some improv classes a couple of years ago. I was amazed at how much I could learn from the art of improvisation. I originally signed up for the class because I was told it would help improve my writing and speaking skills. But I discovered that improv is also a wonderful mechanism for improving your relationship skills. It teaches you to be present, listen, and respond in a way that moves the conversation (or scene) forward. There are a multitude of surprises one can learn about themselves, their lives, and human nature in the pursuit of creating a spontaneous scene and character with another human being. But the “rule” of improv I love the most, is the rule of Yes and…

I was reading an email the other morning promising me yet another perfect and easy solution to my problem. I don’t recall what the problem was but that’s rather irrelevant. I’m sure I have problems that would love a simple and revolutionary solution. There are no short supplies of problems and there are apparently no short supplies of easy and quick fixes—people that will tell you they understand your pain and know how to remove your pain for only three small payments of… you fill in the blank.