Monday, October 27, 2008

I'd heard about people who put these things off for way too long and then kick themselves for doing it. I was going to do no such thing with regards to my teeth. So, as soon as I dug out the filling from my tooth, I began the hunt for a "good dentist" around my place, and that lead me straight to Dr Mathai, who's logo is a very happy looking tooth. Now now, how could i ever resist that!

So what to me, seemed initially like a simple job to fill the cavity...has now turned out into a root canal, a tooth extraction (surgical, mind you!) and some other process that led me to a very strange looking x-ray station that made me look into the mirror with a strange thing stuck in my mouth and a machine vigorously rotating around me. And in that precarious position I couldn't help but think.....'what if i sneeze now!'.

Well, I didn't sneeze. Phew! My dentist is a sweet girl called Fredella who is accompanied by a dental assistant called Pravin who perpetually ( and I mean perpetually!) talks about going on vacation. I've been going there for about 3 weeks...and he still hasn't left!

Anyway, to be honest...I was petrified when I heard the words ROOT CANAL come out of Fredella's mouth. And while her constant "oh, it's not painful at all" did help me keep my calm externally, on the insides...I was, as they say, shitting bricks.....by the truck loads.

After having looked deeply into Fre's eyes for comfort over the last four sessions I can honestly say, this root canal thing has been demonised for no apparent reason. On the bright side, at Dr. Mathai's I also found a friend that I just can't see my self being able to live through this experience without.... the local anaesthetic! Sure, Fre tells me that I am one of the few who look forward to getting injected in the mouth...but THAT I can bear. Because that uncomfortable 5 second injection makes sure the next hour is painless....as opposed to sitting there..singing a song in my head (mostly embarrassing ones!) and then being rudely interrupted by a pain that i probably wouldn't be expecting!

The Root canal, from what I've been told, will be over in another sitting. Dr Mathai removed my wisdom tooth that seems to have had a mind of its own. And in its rebellion it decided to come out perpendicular to all of its brother and sisters (maybe they're cousins, who knows?!). I've been told my gum was cut to get this miscreant out...and the process of pulling the tooth itself out was no different that pulling out a nail...when its clearly in the wrong place in the wall! Only I do that with a Pliers, Dr. Mathai had slightly (if not funkier) instruments...and the spit sucker had decided to give up on us all. So poor Fre was stuck at the mercy of the spit sucker (from now affectionately called SS)..and at one point, the spit mixed with blood .. all spilled on my face and i was at Fre's mercy to be cleaned! See, Dignity has very little room in a dentists chair. You're sitting in the damn thing with your mouth so wide that an obese man could walk straight in without thinking about weather or not he'll fit! And no matter how much you try and hide, your years of decay....those nights when you sneaked to the refrigerator to finish off that bar of chocolate (and didn't brush after, like obviously...duh!) are staring in your dentists face! So like I said, you have to have really good oral hygiene..to maintain even the slightest bit of self esteem when you're at a dentist's...

On the bright side, the hard part is over. My tooth is now resting in my living room next to the jar of pot pouri....while i figure a more permanent place worthy of the tooth and it's calcium.Until then, if my maid doesn't brush it off with the jhadu...it will love there. While the others (again, are they cousins?) play around in my mouth...grinding, chewing, unfortunately still decaying....!

As for what I'm going to do with this... fuck knows!If you have a suggestion...OTHER THAN WEARING IT AROUND MY NECK....plz do tell!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

It hardly sounds complicated....but I always wondered, what it would feel like to listen to music while I swam. If they can make underwater watches, underwater lights, underwater cameras and what not...was I the only genius who'd been thinking on the lines of underwater music players? Aah! Clearly, no one was as smart as I!

That bubble burst as soon as I logged into my trusted google.com and keyed in "underwater music player". After google instantly corrected my spelling and suggested i try underwater as opposed to underwtr, we were in business.

Turns out these things are called "waterproof" mp3 players, and there's something called swimp3, which I think is a cool name and all, and it retails for about $229 with a space of 256 mb (cheee, too little). Upon further googling, I realised Speedo, my trusted crotch hugging brand also makes these....and sells them for a lot more than the trunks that only look good on models. (I think the brand easily forgets that not everyone who wears these is a DanielCraig lookalike! I have loads of fat hippos who waddle in my pool to testify). Anywho, Speedo's version of the same thing is called Aquabeat (1 gb. $ 140)Of course, you can always buy something called h20, which true to its name, is indeed h20 friendly, or so claim the guys at h20audio.com. Their claim- put this shit on your ipod and swim like its your birthday and nothing will go wrong. I'm sure nothing will. If it does....tough luck!

Anyway, I didn't have to order through ebay or wait for a friend to visit the states, instead I found what I was looking for while trespassing Fun republic (as usual). I was to meet a producer and get a ride till lower parel and while I whiled away time, a beautiful blond looked so happy listening to music, while her legs flapped behind her in the pool that i couldn't help but go closer to the window that had this package. Sure enough, it said "waterproof mp3 player". 3 days later, that blond was smiling in one corner of my room after being home delivered in exchange for 3 grand (2 gb space) , her picture fluttering moments before that box was chucked for good and I, in one triumphant moment, put on the ear pieces and enjoyed my underwater mp3 player...in complete dryness!

See, the pool opens at 5 pm. This was at about 12.30 at noon, and if you thought I had the patience to wait about four hours, you might as well think Hillary is winning the white house! I quickly strapped on the player, put on the smile (the blond may have inspired me) and an aroma therapy shower gel, music and an oddly exciting mood got me all worked up...and yes, the player worked... even when it was in the water!

I was at the pool as soon as it opened. Everyone, and i mean, Everyone was looking at me and (more importantly!) my new gadget ....and I was being as nonchalant as possible. (how uncool to smile and wave and do the 'yes I'm listening to music while i swim' dance), although that's exactly what I would've done...or at least wanted to do!

Anyway, the looks haven't stopped. A few people have asked me about the player..and I've made a few friends thanks to it. I realised on day 1 though, that you couldn't do vigorous swimming because the ear phones tend to slip out of the ear. But the swim cap holds them in place. Is it fun? Oh yes! I tend to swim for about an hour, hour an a half without realising how long its been.

I would've been enjoying the pool and the player right now, but my waterproof mp3 player, after four glorious swims decided this was all too good to be true and gave up on me. The guy at Asian sky shop says he will gimme a new piece....although something tells me I might see a lot more of him.

This just in...

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About Me

Personally: I'm as uncomplicated as they come. Usually, I wear my heart on my sleeve. On a rainy day, I hide it in my jacket to keep it dry!
contact: paras.tomar@gmail.com
Professionally: Done loads of fun stuff at CNN IBN, Zoom, Zee and NDTV Good Times, Headlines Today. Now, out in the world of freelance!