APPLES & ORANGES: BROTHEL PRICES IN MELBOURNE

When I answer my telephone, I usually get one of two questions: ‘What are the prices there?’ is by far the most common. It’s much more common than the general courtesy one which asks about how I am today. So, I suppose finding the price is much more important to many people than even good manners, so deserves some attention.

Yes, they do. Think about buying a BMW 7 Series or a Suzuki Swift. They’ll both get you where you want to go, one with style and class with many wonderful features built in, and the other is purely functional transport – but you can buy “extras” if you want to make the trip more enjoyable. For some people, let’s call them ‘the thrifty risk takers’, you can also try the illegal massage shops or the sex goddesses on Cracker or Backpage, but may need to add on the price of a visit to your friendly doctor. And for the especially unlucky, you may find yourself clapped in irons when the local constabulary drop by – not a good look! So, yes, brothel prices do vary a lot. You just need to make sure you are comparing “apples with apples”.

Comparing suburban legal brothels with each other is a good idea, comparing a classy legal brothel with the photoshopped girl in a rented room in Southbank who probably won’t be there tomorrow, or the shabby looking High Street massage parlour, certainly isn’t.

Cheap Brothel Prices are a Good Guide to Bad Sex

Asking for brothel prices over the phone can be misleading and is not even the right question to be asking unless you understand why they vary. The discerning guest looks to value for money, which is different. They ask themselves: “What’s the experience I’m looking for?” This might cover the ambience, privacy, front-desk service standards, attractiveness of the young women, inclusions in the service, risks of something nasty and then deciding what’s a fair price for the best mix. None of which you can get from a phone call to an often, barely English-speaking receptionist.

So, listing a few telephone numbers of brothels in Melbourne and trying to save a few dollars by calling around is bad economics. Gentlemen, get in your car and pay a quick visit, the top brothels in Melbourne will happily show you around without any obligation.

You can also check out the comments on the brothel’s website or the feedback on Google which can give you some insights into whether your money is going to be well spent. Brothel prices in isolation of all the other important factors is a terrible measure for what you’re really seeking from a Brothel in Melbourne.