Are you an NPC?

Do you feel like you’re in a rut? Keep doing the same old things, in the same old places? You could be a non-player character in a video game. Take our handy quiz and discover the truth!

You like to make conversation by:

Mentioning the weather

Telling people about recent events in your life

Providing a multiple-choice list of preset responses for people to choose from

During conversation, you notice that the person you are speaking to has become unresponsive. You suspect they are making a cup of tea, using the loo or even preparing to go out for the evening. So you:

Shout out to them impatiently

Pace around the room, tapping hands impatiently on your legs

Wait silently for as long as it takes, potentially until the end of time

You find yourself in a heavy firefight in a wartorn urban setting, or perhaps a hidden research facility 200 miles north of Moscow. Suddenly, you come under heavy fire. Do you:

Run away as far and as fast as possible

Take cover behind a wall or anything else that might protect you

Take cover behind an explosive barrel

While walking across your living room, you accidentally knock into the sofa. Do you:

Walk around it

Shake your head at your own clumsiness

Remain in the same position, moving your arms and legs impotently while making zero headway

You are waiting for someone to arrive. Do you:

Sit and read the paper

Look out of the window and think about what you’ll do later on

Continually pace around a rigid circuit, turning at right-angles, maintaining a constant speed and pausing regularly in exactly the same location

You are walking along a street in a city that looks suspiciously like New York. What are you most concerned about?

Carbon monoxide in traffic fumes

Where to find a decent bagel

Having your head blown off by a bored sniper on top of a skyscraper

How did you do?

Mostly As or Bs: You’re not an NPC. Congratulations! Your chances of being around when the credits roll just increased substantially.
Mostly Cs: You are an NPC! Expect to be shot, pushed off a cliff or blown up for someone’s amusement very soon…