(although, as long as I'm making an extra post...can I use this opportunity to point out that OH MY GOD THE RECAPIST'S VERSION OF "RAISING CAINE" IS ALMOST TOO HORRIBLE FOR WORDS. I'm serious, people. I generally do not think I would make a good recapper, but for this show, I am pretty sure I could do better. If this were fanfiction.net and not a supposedly Srs Recappin' Site, I might even make accusations of a trollish nature. What else could explain her description of the sizzlin' sexual tension between Horatio and Julia, where apparently the former clearly still loves the latter and probably "never got a chick as hot as her ever again"? Or that the ending comes as a total shock, since her previous story "seemed so plausible"? *bursts into a mixture of laughter and tears*)

Let's move on.-----------CSI: NY, 5x13, "All in the Family"

Oh.So much love.So much love I don't know what to do with it except SQUEE DANCE!This is my new favorite phrase.Spread the word: squee dance.

Let's get the boring old case thing out of the way first: the judge's daughter was an atrocious actress.Her flashback scream was pretty good, but the crying as Mac first questioned her was incredibly fake.And since she didn't even end up being guilty, I am forced to conclude that the actress is really just that bad.Also, in regards to the team's incessant questioning about why you'd beat someone with a shotgun instead of firing it, I would have gone with the rather simple answer of "it's quieter."Especially in an apartment building in the middle of the city. And finally, I'm curious as to how the boys managed to sneak out the side door of the theater.See, around here, the doors labeled "emergency exit" usually come accompanied with signs warning that fire alarms will go off if opened.Hence the word "EMERGENCY."I also find myself confused that the boys left no print or DNA evidence whatsoever while walking around barefoot and otherwise half-naked in the living room, regardless of the showers they took (...did they have bleach handy, too?Wouldn't there have been blood residue in the drains?!)However, I am willing to overlook all the less-than-good stuff since this was a relatively small part of the ep.

Also, I LOVED the scene with Stella & Angell questioning the bird owner.Such snarky girl power!Much more effective than Stella teaming up with Lindsay.I have, rather belatedly by some standards, begun to come to the conclusion that Lindsay is just not a very useful character to have around.I still like her, it's just that when she's not cuddling puppies, sparring and/or being cute with Danny, sharing a scene with Flack or showing off for Mac - and let's face it, all of these things are pretty rare - I find that I sort of...want her to get off my screen, or at least not talk while she's on it.I FEEL SO GUILTY.AND YET.

The point here, though, is that I really loved this scene for its birds.Pretty parrots!Oh my God, it's been so long since I researched animals for fun that I don't even remember the name of that species except that the female is red/blue and the male is green, because they have awesome coloration role reversal.Um, um, um, *feeds words into search engine* ECLECTUS! That's right!I don't really like birds all that much - not half so much as mammals, anyway - but I've still always held a particular reverence for this type.This scene would have been perfect had Angell done just a bit less smirking.(Come on, Ange. You know you want a pair of Eclectus parrots for your own.I'm inventing personal canon as we speak.Come to think of it, her face is a bit birdlike, isn't it?Bright, sharp eyes, always taking in her surroundings.)

Hey, let's talk about Angell.Just the name "Emmanuelle Vaugier" over the credits is enough to set me spinning in giddy circles; the minute her character appears on screen I'm reduced to squealing.Her hair somehow gets prettier every time I see her - love the loose curls - and the sweater!I've always hated the baggy-neck style of sweater, and in fact still do, yet she makes it look good.Love the cream wool paired with green pea coat.

ALSO: FLIRTING.It smolders between her and Flack, it does.I squee dance in celebration!Especially as I was not expecting it at all, and it nearly knocked me off my chair in joyous astonishment.She continued to generally kick ass and win my adoration throughout the other interrogations, including but not limited to the snarling "She said siddown," and

"Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Depends, you got a sense of humor?"

"Depends, you funny?"

GOD.THE SNARK IS FANTASTIC.Angell has bite.And okay, I'm not gonna lie, when we pulled in on Flack getting in his car, I was hoping for Angell to show up and finish the eyesex they'd started earlier.Instead he just put a trace on Danny's phone (more on this later), and I slumped back down with marginal disappointment...but then there was the end.Out of nowhere, she strolled up to his desk and my exact words were "Oh goody!HERE'S the eyesex!"...that sounds facetious written out.I assure you it is not.I was, however, siezed with sudden fear that she was coming in at an incredibly bad time, given the Messer mess, and wanted to order her to about-face and try back next week before he permanently shot her down.

Instead, we get: "Long story.How bout I tell you later over an Irish coffee?" YEEEE-ES!*snorgles Flack/Angell most copiously*And she accepted!Double yes!!Flack, I highly approve of this upswing in (potential) girlfriends (*looks groggy* Tess?Tess who?Don't remember any OTPs starring an OC in my past, nope).Also, "Jess"!(Except...hey guys, it's funny, but I'm pretty sure her name has always been Jennifer, not Jessica, in the past.Come on now, she's been in like 12 episodes.Nobody mistakenly calls for Alan Ross, do they?) I am like a cat rolling in catnip right now, and I've barely skimmed the surface of the treasure chest.I'm not even sure where to begin with the fantastic tripod that is Flack-Danny-Lindsay, although I guess a good place to start would be at 12:10, with the following reaction:

"Hi Lindsay!I skip your boring montage scene and HOLY LORD SQUEE MYSELF TO DEATH when you not only catch Flack, but then ask him about Danny.You nail like five of my favorite things about character dynamics in one brief yet fantastic scene.

a) "Don"

b) Angst-face

c) Lindsey is talking to Flack at all

d) confirmation of D/L

e) confirmation of D/F friendship

Squee-dance as necessary."

Roughly translated: for whatever reason, her calling him "Don" makes me very, very happy.And while I am generally enthused by their every interaction, I continue to find it liberating that everyone knows Danny & Lindsay are together.It's not quite the same as getting to see their relationship with my own eyes, but at least it's not all hidden and secretive like a certain reticent Vegas couple.And I like that she can share her concern with Flack, which is even better than her talking to Mac.Not only because she obviously couldn't tell Mac about this, but because I just like the idea of the people closest to Danny working together to save him from himself.

Speaking of Lindsay talking to Mac, WORST LIE EVER.Mac clearly knows.Mac is also clearly being his increasingly indulgent self and choosing to pretend otherwise (whoa, and with that comment, I just realized Adam was completely absent from this episode and Sid was in short supply - two more ingredients for a great episode).Also, I cannot stop giggling madly at the implication of "make sure you don't catch it."Mwu-ha-ha-ha!And thus do I remain convinced that Mac secretly finds the whole idea of their relationship rather entertaining.Because while she cannot fib to save her life, Lindsay did manage to impressively bottle up her worry until he turned his back, giving him no reason to play any role at all in today's Danny-corralling antics.Smart move.

We went straight from that into Flack knocking on Danny's door, causing me to wig out again, because I was POSITIVE that this confrontation was going to go the way of Lindsay approaching Danny in 4x11 and get left on the cutting room floor.Okay, so it turned out Danny wasn't actually in the apartment, but I appreciated the coerced entrance and detailed look around anyway.(side note: Come on Messer, you pay all that money for a giant flat and the building doesn't have fire extinguishers on every floor?)I was also quite put out that we didn't get to read whatever little message was on the chalkboard - never mind the fact that I still demand to know why he even has a giant chalkboard - but I guess I can live with it in favor of simply appreciating the fine detail that went into this set design.Where I in no way mistook our first sighting of the empty holster draped over the chair for a black bra.

I have to arch an eyebrow over Lindsay taking time on the clock, not to mention lab materials, to figure out what was written on top of the memorial service notice...but am placated by "Gimme an hour.I'll find him."*snuggles Flack*And not just because when he's around, Lindsay's expository questions sound legitimate instead of coming across like a Disney princess who just fell out of a fairytale in wide-eyed wonder.God, I'm really bitter about this.

I have reached the conclusion that we should kick Danny out of episodes more often, as I found I scarcely missed him at all during the first half.Less of him, more of Hawkes, that's a good balance.That being said, when he finally did show up, he stole every scene (or at least split the spotlight with his best friend).Let me see, how can I describe this first scene here?"Sarcasm!Frustrated caring!And GENERALLY INDIGNANT YELLING!HEEEEEEEEEE!"God, they really belong right up there in my top pairings of all time.I flatly refuse to go to the slashy side, but in terms of how they play off one another, it is so much richer than Danny & Lindsay have ever been.Now, my love for D/L far outstrips my feelings about Lindsay alone, so that’s not really an insult, but these two are something else entirely.Between Flack running the gamut of emotion, annoyed and concerned and exasperated and understanding in the course of a minute, and Danny desperately keening and wheedling with a palette of excuses (in a manner that sounds very much like a crazy person who's cultivated just enough sanity to convince you that they're stable, before going on a homicidal rampage), there are just layers upon layers to play with here.I'm actually not sure whose side I want to take in this argument.Can I just go with whoever happens to be speaking?

If I had to phrase one disappointment with this scene - which I swear is an original complaint, and not merely jumping on the bandwagon - it's that I really wanted Flack to at least tell him to call Lindsay, seeing as she's covering his ass at work despite being a little freaked out about his random disappearance.I don't care what kind of emo guilt issues he's going through right now, she doesn't deserve to be left hanging.Someone should really be pointing this out.

Because then Danny just thinks of other people to dodge calls from, like Flack, except the latter isn't having any of it and calls for a location trace so that he can chase him down anyway.Speaking of that...

"No, Danny, no with the 'sweetheart.'And no with the hugging.But YES WITH THE PUNCHING!And Flack pulling him off!And the yelling! And the angrier yelling!And *explodes from squee*"

Call for a translation machine?I was on board with his calming tactics all the up until "Sweetheart," and then I got annoyed, because she's too old for the endearment to achieve its desired effect except when spoken in reference to a significant other.Which she is clearly not, no matter how hard she sobs and wraps her arms around him.I don't think it was meant to be read that way, either, and I understand that the whole purpose of this bit is that she's distraught and emotionally exhausted and looking for something, anything to cling to after the adrenaline rush that's kept her going all day gets pulled from under her...but I still found it nettlesome.Fortunately, I can cope with this by blurring my eyes, concocting a new scenario and visually inserting Lindsay in her place.It works surprisingly well.

Plus, this scene is swiftly rescued by the addition of face-punching!Always a winning play in my (excessively violent when not sugar-sweet) book.And then I become a garbled and largely speechless mess for the rest of the scene, what with all the anger and yelling and none of it really seeming to register with Danny, who looks about as numb and incapable of comprehension as Riki here.

And finally, the last two minutes.I thought I had all the Flack/Angell glee out of my system, but I have to amend one thing -- in addition to the Jennifer vs. Jessica thing, which bugs me so much that I've decided to reconcile it with insta-backstory: her best friend in school was also named Jennifer, so for whatever reason they worked out the nickname 'Jess' to differentiate her, and she's kept it up.IS CANON NOW.-- what I love about this exchange right here, is that their flirting is not as frivolous or snap-banter as it always has been in the past.They are both perfectly capable of being serious when the situation calls for it, and that's what gives me sudden and renewed hope that they could do more than a casual fling (which, frankly, as much as I've gleed over this pairing, is all I ever thought they'd amount to).Will the show handle it properly, if at all?I have absolutely no idea.I doubt it.But is it wrong that I really want to see them try?

Also, I foresee icons made of Flack's expression, thoughtful with just the barest hint of a smile, made from the end of that exchange.

[Sidebar: Ugh, I just made a deep, deep error in going to Talk CSI for episode thoughts - it wasn't intentional!I just fed Google a question to see if anyone else noticed Jen v. Jess, and that was the first hit! - and reading down the first page of posts, only to be visually scarred for life by a photoshopped signature banner featuring Danny's face in place of Devon's.*vigorously scrubs brain* Still not clean...]

Now take everything I've said about Danny & Flack, multiply it, and apply it to this scene to get some measure of how much I loved this ending, because it has rendered me speechless."You're my friend, Danny.Makes it my business."On that note, I squee-dance my way out the door.And then collapse in exhaustion, utterly drained from this episode alone.(or, you know, the staying up all night thing.Either way.If there are typos, absent words or missed HTML tags, that’s why.)

Next up: RS sleeps, and then attempts to take her first hesitant step into Doctor Who.

What else could explain her description of the sizzlin' sexual tension between Horatio and Julia, where apparently the former clearly still loves the latter and probably "never got a chick as hot as her ever again"? Here's the part where I'm supposed to scream about Yelina (and MAYBE Marisol too), right? Cause she's totally hotter... Unfortunately, I can't get passed the fact that "sizzlin' sexual tension" and "Horatio" appear in the same sentence. o_O

"Maybe"? Psh. Alana de la Garza is prettiest woman on planet. (Or I suppose I could let you be entitled to your own perfectly valid opinion) Mostly I'm just baffled by the description of unparalleled hotness when Jessie Spano reminds me of a wide-eyed giraffe.

And I apologize if I broke your brain with my paraphrasing. :D The recap made me feel a little ill myself.

Well in all honesty, I don't find Alana to be attractive at all. Though part of me thinks it's the weird Miami lighting as well as my own personal preferences. But that said, she's definitely more striking than Elizabeth Berkley. D:

where apparently the former clearly still loves the latter and probably "never got a chick as hot as her ever again"?

...O HAI RECAPIST. Why don't you mosey over there and meet Sofia Milos and Alana de la Garza, who manage to out-hot just about everyone in the known universe? Kthanxbye.

(Also, I love how the only thing that matters is whether or not he ever "got a chick as hot as her". Everyone knows it's impossible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who's not a supermodel, after all. Please tell me this recapper is a man, so I can at least blame sexism and leave it at that.)

*ahem* I'm going to move on before the blind rage kicks in.

Angell! Yes! Let's talk about her. I'm as annoyed as you are that the writers seem to have forgotten her name, but I am pleased and satisfied with your explanation, and shall declare it part of my personal canon from now on. However, the fact that she had ever so much screentime this episode almost made up for it, since for a while I was worried that TPTB had completely forgotten she existed. And while her sudden flirtation with Flack feels a bit forced to me, if it means she gets something to do then I'll take it happily.

And, um...basically I agree with everything you said here about Flack and Danny. Their friendship doesn't get highlighted enough, I feel, and the scene between the two of them was just so...intense. And perfect.

Whoa. How long has the quote button been there? And why are we not all using it? Wait, has it always been there, and does it make me dorky and uncool to use it? Please tell me this recapper is a man, so I can at least blame sexism and leave it at that.)Depends. How many men do you know spell their names "Adrienne"? (but if I can be shallow and return to the subject of looks anyway, I too wanted to slap said recapper with pictures of Yelina and Marisol when I read that. And hell, Rebecca Nevins and Rachel Turner for that matter, if all we're going to focus on is hotness. Although all of the above would require the recapper to understand that CSI: Miami was on the air prior to season 6.)----Always happy to donate to personal canon. :) I am nothing short of giddy that Angell's managed to play out over two seasons so far, although I would be happier if I could be assured she was as permanent as Valera, if not Adam. And I've been playing with the idea of Flack/Angell for the sheer pretty factor ever since she appeared, so maybe that's why it doesn't feel forced to me.----Now go get some sleep, you. *salutes* Aye ma'am, I slumbered away the whole afternoon. Which means I am now going to be wide-awake until 3 or 4 AM, of course, but at least I don't have to go to class until 10:30.

*mutter grumble stupid name-changing*Yeah, I agree, Hawkes doesn't get enough screen time in general, and I've wached recurring characters like Adam steal it from the regulars enough...so I don't know that I'd want her to become a main cast member (especially since that might mean further reduced time for Flack). But I'd be happy if she was guaranteed a recurring role with some regularity, like the non-Hodges lab techs on the original CSI.