Author's infos

Standard Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all characters are property of J K Rowling, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Books, Arthur A. Levine Books, Raincoast Books, Scholastic publishing, et al. and are used without permission. This work was written purely for noncommercial entertainment; no money is being made.

Author's Notes: This story is a broad farce with over the top humor (a good deal of it is crude and sexual) and OOC actions (that's Out Of Character if you don't know). Also, this is my first smut-ish fic. If you don't like sex and sex-based humor, do NOT read this!

Chapter Thirty Three: The gang discovers the location of the missing Horcrux.

The moment Harry and Hermione entered their chambers, the brunette made a beeline directly to the potions cupboard. While quickly and efficiently pulling various ingredients out, she told Harry, "Give me one of your socks; you know that we need it to perform the locating ritual."

"Not that I don't like han- err - I mean; not that I don't think performing the location ritual isn't a good idea, but don't you think we should use Gryffindor's sword to destroy the Locket first?" he asked, holding up the Horcrux in question. "Isn't it dangerous to keep lying around?"

"Harry, it's not the /One Ring/. And we're not /Smeagol/," returned Hermione. "I doubt that it will be whispering to our souls and corrupting us. Besides, I want to trump Snape and find the last Horcrux before he does."

"Not only will we get a head start on that greasy git, but I'll get a hand-job out of it, to boot," Harry said, eagerly joining Hermione's point of view. Hand-jobs and besting that arse Snape were two very worthwhile endeavors.

"And as to not destroying the Locket, I'm hoping that leaving it whole for the moment will give us a new starting point for the ritual," continued Hermione, stirring ingredients in the cauldron. "Since the Locket, one of the Horcruxes, will be in the same room as us, we should start right here rather than plunging through the floor like we have every time before. Hopefully, this will change the outcome and we'll be able to see where the missing Horcrux is located."

A few minutes later, a naked Harry was sitting on the edge of the bed with his equally naked girlfriend kneeling before him. Her potion coated hands were wrapped around 'Harry, Jr.' who, needless to say, was very proud to be able to play such an essential part in the quest for Voldemort's Horcruxes. It was truly a noble cause for a truly noble penis. That and hand-jobs were a hoot.

A few moments after they began chanting "/Praefoco Pullus"/ and "Ructo Vermis" Harry and Hermione, once again, had an out-of-body experience. The pair floated over Slytherin's Locket on the desk where Harry had put it - or rather, where Harry had discarded it hastily in preparation of a hand-job.

"It didn't corrupt her, it possessed her," countered Hermione. "And that was after the silly girl started a correspondence with the thing. She spent weeks writing in it while it fed off of -"

Hermione's lecture was cut off as the couple dove through the floor. In no time, Harry and Hermione had once again found themselves floating in the inky blackness.

"Damn, I was hoping that starting off at the Locket would change this," said Hermione as she continued to stroke him. "Do you still get the feeling that this place is familiar, Harry?"

"Well, besides being familiar with it because we've been here each time we do the han - err - location ritual, yeah, it does," he replied.

A few moments later the two were flying like a bullet once again. They burst forth from the ground and soared through the night sky. The landscape below was nothing more than a blur of lights and dark colors. Mountains, hills, and cities rocketed by them. They were moving so fast, yet again, that it would've been impossible for them to keep track of their journey.

Finally, the pair began to slow down as they approached the keep that the villain Voldemort was using as his base. They flew through the walls as if the bricks and mortar were not there and found the evil wizard standing before a large, ornately decorated and carved mirror.

"Where's Wormtail?"asked Hermione in a panic. "I can't see Wormtail!"

"I don't think Voldemort has him up his arse. Remember, Voldemort had his robes up around his hips when we saw that," comforted Harry. Of course he not only said this to ease Hermione, but to alleviate the fear and revulsion that threatened to seize him as well.

Harry was about to start a discussion with Hermione as to where the missing Horcrux could possibly be when Voldemort pulled out his wand. The snake-like man waved his wand in acircle about his own face. He incanted: "Verruca Vesuvius!"

"Wait, that's a Zit Hex," announced Hermione just as dozens of large and disgusting blemishes sprung up all over Voldemort's face.

"Why would Voldemort cast a Zit Hex at himself?" asked Harry.

Unfortunately for Harry and Hermione's psyche, the young wizard's inquiry was answered by Voldemort's action. The evil wizard leaned close to the mirror so that his nose was just an inch or two away from it. The fiend looked almost lovingly at the numerous pus filled mountains on his face. Delicately, Voldemort reached up, placed the tips of his forefingers on either side of a particularly large zit, and squeezed. The blemish erupted, spraying its white, lumpy discharge onto the mirror. With wide, sparkling eyes, Voldemort practically squealed; "Oh-ho, that was a good one!"

The fiend then did something that truly disturbed Harry. Opening his mouth wide, Voldemort stuck out his tongue and ran it up the mirror, lapping up the infected discharge.

"Oh my God,"bemoaned Hermione as Voldemort smacked his lips like a man who had just had a satisfying meal. Harry could hear his girlfriend's revulsion in her voice. "That's disgusting!"

"Tonight will be a landmark in history. The world will tremble at my might!" the now-zit covered evil wizard boasted to himself. Once again, Voldemort began to squeeze another large pimple. "This is going to be a good one!" he said excitedly while the blemish began to swell. A soft pop announced the explosion of pus. He cheered ecstatically "YES!" before licking the greenish globs dribbling down the mirror once again.

His red eyes sparkled and a mad grin split his face, Voldemort let out a shuttering breath, as if he had just been overcome with a wave of passion. It was clear that Voldemort was getting some sort of perverse thrill from popping and then licking up the zits that coated his face. The wizard's hands trembled in anticipation as he reached for the next large white head.

"I think I'm going to be ill," groaned Harry with bile marching up his throat. Granted, the scene wasn't as bad as when Voldemort demanded that Wormtail turn into a rat and crawl into his arse, but the thought of eating one's zits for some sort of sexual thrill made Harry's stomach churn. The disembodied wizard ordered his lover frantically, "Pump faster! I need to cum so we can end the ritual and get out of here!"

"I'm trying! I'm trying!" she said, her transparent hands a blur of motion on 'Harry, Jr.'

A knock on the door drew Voldemort's attention away from his depraved activity. "What is it?"he barked, upset over the interruption.

"Master, your servants have gathered in the hall as you requested. We await your orders, my Lord," an unrecognizable voice sounded through the closed door.

"I'll be there in a moment," snapped Voldemort. With a rapid motion, the fiend squeezed another zit, causing it to spray the discharge on the mirror.

In a regrettable simultaneous action, Harry ejaculated that that precise moment; his seed left his loins the moment the yellowing pus left Voldemort's blemish.

He and Hermione returned to their bodies instantly. Blinking, Harry looked at his girlfriend. Like the times they performed this ritual before, his sticky /'love juice'/was dribbling down her face. Normally, Harry got a naughty thrill at the sight of a messy-faced Hermione. But thanks to the disgusting scene he had just witnessed, the whitish ejaculate that dribbled down Hermione's pretty face reminded him of Voldemort's pus trickling down the mirror. To add to Harry's emotional discomfort, the act of Voldemort eating his own pus unfortunately reminded Harry of one of Hermione's favorite activities. His mind likened Voldemort's action to that of Hermione licking up Harry's cum, which just made the ordeal that much worse. Such a wonderful thing as his girlfriend gobbling up his sticky cum was now seemingly ruined because of Voldemort.

"Well, that was a mood killer," muttered Hermione. Harry's discharge dripping down her face stood out on the witch's sickly green complexion.

Fighting back the half-burp, half-vomit affectionately referred to as a "verp," Harry summarized "I take it this means I won't be tying you to the bed and having my way with you."

"No," she said and stood. "Pardon me; I'm going to throw up now."

"I'm next," he said, fighting back the urge to purge his stomach. As he heard Hermione retching in the loo, Harry picked up Gryffindor's Sword and marched to the Locket. He tapped the blade on the Horcrux lightly and the Locket cut cleanly in half.

SoG SoG SoG

It had been a restless night for both Harry and Hermione. The image of Voldemort /"grooming"/himself had left the couple feeling nauseous and queasy, which led to the fitful slumber. Also, they both had been looking forward to the whole "tying Hermione up to the bed and Harry having his way with her" thing and were now physically frustrated over the lack of binding charms and orgasms.

The first thing Hermione did upon waking was to recast the anti-conception charm on herself. With the disturbing image of Voldemort and his perverse hobby still fresh in his mind, Harry said; "That's not really necessary; I don't think I can even think about sex for a long while."

"It's better to be safe than sorry," Hermione stated after completing the charm. "I don't want to risk getting pregnant before both of us are ready."

After the two showered and dressed separately, a knock on the door sounded. Harry opened it to find Luna presenting the morning edition of The Daily Prophet.

"Just thought you'd like to read this," the blonde said, handing Harry the paper. "Ta," she said with a wave and walked away.

Hermione joined her boyfriend and they read the front page:

"He Who Must Not Be Named Dealt Devastating Blow!

Late last night, He Who Must Not Be Named and his followers launched a ten prong attack against prominent MLE and Wizengamot officials'homes. Thankfully, these attacks backfired on You Know Who and his Death Eaters.

One home that was targeted belonged to Madame Rose Witherton, a retired Hit Wizard and holder of the Order of Merlin, First Class. Madame Witherton is an elderly witch and by all rights, the score of Death Eaters who attempted to attack her should have killed her easily. However, last night happened to be Madame Witherton's annual Auror and Hit Wizard Dinner Party. The forty retired and active duty Aurors and Hit Wizards who were dining at Madame Witherton's home were able to successfully capture all twenty Death Eaters without any injuries.

Most of the other nine homes faired better than Madame Witherton's, despite not having a regiment of highly trained Dark Wizard Hunters. By chance, the families of these nine homes had all just purchased "Books of Love Magic: Volume One" a book on sex magic rituals for home cleaning and protection. The same book that had been recently protested by Proper Behavior Now, an activist group, as being unnatural.

/Mr. and Mrs. Huge Jones of //Ipswich/ had just finished performing several rituals listed in the sex-magic book when the Death Eaters attacked. "Me and Jill (Mrs. Jones) were in the middle of the Degnoming Ritual when we heard a commotion - well, a commotion different from the one we were making. I looked outside and saw a dozen or so Death Eaters writhing on the ground, expelling their bowels." Of these Death Eaters, seven were apprehended by Aurors called to the scene.

Another house, belonging to Carl and Marybeth Swilde, was besieged by a reported fifteen Death Eaters. But thanks to the Binding and Anti-Apparation Rituals listed in the sex-magic book that the Swiles performed, eleven assailants were apprehended and sent to Azkaban.

Unfortunately, You Know Who led the attack on the Cumberson home in /Bristol/ in person. The Most Feared Dark Wizard was able to dismantle the wards that Mr. and Mrs. Cumberson had recently erected by following the book's instructions and detailed photos. Thankfully however, the time He Who Must Not Be Named spent tearing down the sex-ritual wards gave the Cumbersons and their four children (Alec 10, Gus 7, Phyllis 4, and Roger 16 months) enough time to escape to safety.

"It's a shame our house and everything in it was burnt to the ground by You Know Who," said Mr. Cumberson. "But my family is safe and that's all that really matters. I owe a great deal of gratitude to Puckle, Weatherby/,/Hunter/, and/ Gaiman; not only did their rituals save my family's lives, but they gave me and the missus a lot of fun in the process. We can't wait to erect the wards around our new place. And the fantastic sex that goes with it, you know?"

In all, 52 Death Eaters were capture while an estimated 31 escaped. Only the Cumberson home suffered significant damage.

Alicia Spinnet, a clerk from Franklin's of Cardiff, the exclusive retailers of Books of Love Magic, stated that she has already received orders from several different countries due to the early news of these foiled attempts.

/"I just got ten owls from Germany, six from Spain, and twenty-one from France, all asking for copies of the book in different languages," Miss Spinnet said. "I'm going to have to post Har - I mean I'll have to post Tim Hunter and have him print up some foreign language versions of the book."/]

Many in the book industry are already predicting the news that the rituals listed in the Books of Love Magic were successful against attacks will make the sales skyrocket.

After completing the article, Hermione took the paper from Harry's hands, placed it on the table and spoke in a calm and even tone, "You're going to tie me to that bed and have your way with me right this instant."

The lustful and longing look in his lover's eyes chased away any disturbing image of Voldemort and his hygiene that might have lingered in Harry's memory.

In a scant matter of seconds and a few flicks from Harry's wand, Hermione was starkers and tied to the bed. However, instead of binding her wrists to the headboard and ankles to the footboard with invisible ropes as was the norm, Harry decided to mix things up a bit and "reversed the configuration"; even though Hermione was positioned on the bed in a normal fashion, her wrists were bound to the footboard while her ankles to the headboard. This meant that the brunette's legs were pulled up and over her head with her bare bottom up in the air, much to her pleasure.

Once she was properly secured, Harry began having his way with her, just not in the traditional sense. The young wizard sat on the bed and began reading "Books of Love Magic: Volume One" aloud. If Hermione had been an "average" witch, this tactic wouldn't have done anything. But since Hermione loved books, in anear primal way, this action did a bang up job of turning her crank. Added to her unique pleasure was the fact that she wrote this particular book.

"Books of Love Magic: Volume One. Written by Hermione Granger under the pen name Mona Puckle,"Harry read and his lover moaned. "Acknowledgment: this author would like to thank Thos. Antric and his landmark book The Magic of Making Love which was the spark and inspiration for this work.

"Chapter One: Easy Home Cleaning Rituals.

"Part One: The Dusting and Picture Straightening Ritual..."

As Harry continued to read, he held the book in front of his face with his left hand while his right busied itself by rubbing, tweaking, pinching and poking various areas on Hermione's nubile body, only pausing in this activity to turn the page. By the time Harry had gotten to the second chapter - the one on cooking rituals - his fingers were very wet and sticky; therefore, so were the pages of the book.

"Oh Harry, I need you now," Hermione groaned out.

"But I'm in the middle of reading the Sour Milk Reverter Ritual," he falsely protested and pushed two fingers into her warm, wet folds.

"PUT THAT BOOK DOWN AND SHAG ME ROTTEN!" she pressed in a less-than-ladylike way.

Harry smiled a wicked smile and ordered; "Beg for it."

And beg for it she did. The young witch used such delicate urgings like "I want you to slam me with your cock" and "After you fuck my wet box, I want you to put your cock up to my face so I can lick it: I want to taste 'Miss Nibbles' on 'Harry, Jr.'"

When Harry happily succumbed to Hermione's pleas, he too was vocal. He further honed his blossoming skills in dirty talk by saying phrases along the lines of "You're a naughty little girl whose naughty book will be read by everyone in the world thanks to that article about the attacks. And now, everyone in the world will know just how naughty you are." "Do you like it when I stick my fingers up your bum while I'm shagging you?" And another phrase which got a congratulatory cheer from Hermione was: "How does it feel to know that everyone will know that you like to have your fanny filled with hot cum, you dirty girl."

It was cathartic for Harry when he came on his lover's face. As Hermione wiped the sticky residue off her face and licked her fingers clean, the damage that had been caused by Voldemort's actions were healed. That and the naughty act recharged Harry and in a few moments he was shagging Hermione once again.

SoG SoG SoG

Over the next few days Harry and Hermione jumped right into creating new rituals for Books of Love Magic: Volume Two. One that Hermione particularly liked was called the"Home Shield Ritual." After the ritual was performed, the house was encased with an invisible shield that would rise when a threat was sensed. The shield was so powerful that it could withstand everything from an earthquake to an attack by a rampaging dragon. Of course the part that Hermione liked the best was the ritual itself: it included buggery and dirty talking by both participants.

Luna even participated in the ritual creation. The blonde made a ritual that would aid in the fertility of crops, involving the "doggie-style" position and something called "fish-hooking."

While they worked on the second book, news of the success of the first volume continued to surprise the two couples. In Poland, the book was credited with thwarting an up-and-coming dark wizard. After several generations of fighting, two feuding families in Australia formed a truce - and an orgy - thanks to the Books of Love Magic. The book was selling thousands and thousands of copies in every country save for the United States, mainly because the magical society there was originally based off of Puritan beliefs and still publicly shunned sex as a pleasurable activity, considering it a necessary evil.

Every week, Alicia sent Harry and Hermione bags full of galleons along with notes of thanks. Due to the commission on sales she received, Alicia was able to move out of her tiny, rented flat and instead move into a three bedroom home of her own. Of course the money Alicia got from the book sales paled in comparison to Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Luna's shares. A proper description of the teens' financial status would be "filthy rich."

One morning during breakfast, Ron, who now had a perpetual smile etched on his face due to the gold that weighed down his pockets, was contemplating how to tell his parent that he now had an excess of money.

"I can't just show up one day and throw a sack of galleons on the table, now can I?" he asked, rhetorically. "I mean, they'll want to know where I got it from. I can't tell them that me and Luna are 'Neil Gaiman' and 'Perky Weatherby.'"

"That's Perky 'The Juggs' Weatherby," corrected Luna.

"They'd have a coronary if they found out I was in a sex magic book," concluded Ron.

"Maybe we can talk with the twins," suggested Harry. "Have them say they started a side business- an owl order catalogue or something - and they hired you. They can say it's going so well that they are paying you loads of money."

"Yeah, that might work," Ron said, shoveling food into his mouth.

While Harry, Hermione, and Luna watched Ron unconsciously imitate a famished hippogriff, Ginny, who was showing a good deal already, waddled up to the two couples with Neville in tow.

"Your guys' book has really gotten on my nerves," the young mother-to-be said, grouchily.

"You're just upset because you're far enough along in your pregnancy that you and Neville can't have sex," Luna said, grinning over her unborn niece or nephew growing in Ginny's belly, not over her sister-in-law's predicament. "Otherwise, you might hurt the baby with that monstrosity that Neville calls a penis."

"There are other ways you two can please each other without intercourse where Neville won't accidentally push through your cervix, Ginny," offered Hermione.

"Yeah, yeah, blow-jobs, labia-licking, and the like. We're doing just fine in that area,"Ginny said, dismissively.

"Ginny's really good at that stuff," Neville said with a combination of pride and embarrassment. "The blow-job bit, not the labia-licking one."

"Every single student - and a few of the teachers - have gotten it into their heads that they want to have sex in every possible room in the castle," the red haired witch explained. "Thanks to your damned book, there have been no less than twenty couples who have had sex in the library and a handful of orgies in the Room of Requirements. Rumor has it that Megan Jones and Blaise Zabini snuck into the Headmistress' office and shagged on her desk. The Hufflepuffs are boasting that they had a gangbang in the kitchen-"

"Bet the House-Elves liked that," Harry commented off handedly. "If they're like Dobby, they like to watch."

"Now they're trying to get into the Chamber," Ginny said.

"The Chamber of Secrets?" asked Hermione, incredulously.

"Yeah, since seemingly every square inch of this castle has been used to shag on or in, there's a bunch of people trying to get into the Chamber so they can have bragging rights of being the first ones to do it there," Ginny said. "Orla Quirke dragged me into Moaning Myrtle's loo, she said it was important. When I got there, I saw Orla's boyfriend, Steward Ackerley, hissing and spitting like a snake at the faucet trying to get it to open. Orla brought me there hoping that I could give them pointers on how to speak parseltongue - because they thought I remembered being possessed - so they could open the Chamber."

"Wait, parseltongue is a magical language," Ron barked. "You can't imitate a magical language! For pity's sake, it's a language where you talk to snakes and everybody knows snakes don't have ears!"

"Snakes do have organs that pick up vibrations, actually. So people can imitate noises that could sound close enough to parseltongue," offered Luna. "Maybe they'll get lucky and mimic 'open' close enough to trick the magic surrounding the entrance."

"That's assuming that 'open' in parseltongue is a simple word to pronounce as it is in English," returned Hermione. "What if 'open' ends up being a four or five syllable word instead of a two syllable as it is in English? Then there's also the fact that there may be several different words or sounds for the word 'open'/in parseltongue. One may mean to open a door another may mean to be open and truthful and there may only be a slight, but vital difference in pronunciation between the two words. You could accidentally say the latter /'open' and the Chamber would remain closed because you unknowingly said the improper word."

"Don't forget there are some aspects of parseltongue that have to be sub-vocal," Harry said. "When the Basilisk was roaming around, I heard it twice when I was with people; once with Hermione and Ron and the other with that git Lockhart. And no one, besides myself, heard anything: no hissing, nothing. That means there has to be some part to the language that are too low or too high for people who aren't parselmouths to hear."

"So when Harry says open, we could hear his hiss, but the parselmouth magic could make parts of that hiss go so high or so low that we couldn't hear it," Hermione concluded.

"Regardless of whether a non-parselmouth can open the Chamber or not, why would anyone want to have sex down there," Harry said with his face scrunching up in disgust. "It's so dark and wet down there..."

His eyes grew wide as a revelation dawned on him. It was dark and wet down there! Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and dashed to their chambers.

"What's going on Harry?" demanded Hermione, stumbling behind him.

"Have to get the Sword,"he answered quickly. Throwing the door open, Harry rushed to the cupboard and withdrew Gryffindor's Sword. Once again, he grabbed Hermione's hand and began running through the corridor.

"Oi, hold up," Ron cried out as he and Luna gave chase. "My breakfast hasn't settled yet! All this running is making it jostle about in my stomach and that's not good for digestion!"

Harry led his friends to Moaning Myrtle's loo. There, just as Ginny had described, were two fifth year Ravenclaws, hissing vainly at the sink.

"You two, /leave/,"Harry ordered the younger students firmly. His forceful tone made the two fifth-years leave. That and holding the sword as if Harry was going to start swinging the naked blade around didn't hurt the younger pair's decision to obey Harry's order.

"Aw, no fair," one grumbled as they sulked out of the bathroom. "We wanted to be the first to shag down there."

Once the four were alone, Hermione asked with a touch of revulsion; "Did you drag me down here so that you and I could be the first to have sex in the Chamber?" Clearly, the thought of all that muck and mire in the dark, dank room was not a turn on for her.

"Oh, could Ronald and I be the second couple to have sex in the Chamber?" asked Luna. Apparently, she wasn't as picky as Hermione.

Harry bent over the faucet and imagined he was talking to a snake. "Open."

"See, it sounds inhuman," Ron pointed out as an opening in the wall appeared. "No one can imitate that! It's simply ludicrous to even think that anybody could get that thing open by just 'guessing' the sounds!"

Harry made to climb into the hole when Hermione grabbed him.

"You will tell me what's going on," she demanded.

"The last Horcrux is down there," Harry said. "We thought the location ritual wasn't working because we kept ending up in darkness. But it was working! We kept ending up down there. The only problem was that there's no light down there and that's why we couldn't see anything! That's why it seemed familiar to me, because I've been in the Chamber."

"Oh," the brunette uttered in realization.

Hopping into the opening, Harry slid down the long tunnel. He could hear his friends a few seconds behind him. After tumbling out of the tunnel Harry stood, pulled out his wand, and incanted "/Luminos/." A thin beam of light emanated from his wand.

He helped Hermione stand while Luna helped Ron to do the same. As Harry brushed the fragments of rat bones from her robe, Hermione cast the Light Charm as well. A moment later, two beams of light from Ron and Luna's wands joined Harry and Hermione's.

The brunette witch eyed the beams of light and said; "Now that there's light and we can see, we can use the location ritual. With Ron and Luna searching the Chamber, we can see exactly where the Horcrux is!"

For a brief moment, Harry contemplated not reminding Hermione that the Sword could be used as a divining rod to help find the Horcrux. The thought of a hand-job was enticing, even in this dark, dank place. However, Harry recalled the disturbing things Voldemort had done, both with Wormtail and popping his own zits. Our hero feared that if he and Hermione performed the han - location ritual again, that they would see Voldemort doing something far more disturbing.

"Actually, we can use the Sword as a divining rod," said Harry, saddened at the lost opportunity of a hand-job. It was just another heinous crime that he would have to add to Voldemort's list: kidnapping, torture, murder, and hand-job mood killer.

Harry held the Sword in front of him. The tip bobbed and weaved slowly under its own power. A small pull turned the Sword, pointing the weapon toward a passageway and Harry followed it.

As the four friends wandered through the Chamber, Ron asked; "What do you think the last Horcrux is?"

"Knowing You Know Who, it's something that belonged to one of the Founders," offered Luna. "I, too, wonder what the artifact could be."

"Well, we had Slytherin's Locket and Ring, Hufflepuff's Cup, and Gryffindor's ridiculous Anvil," listed Hermione. "So I would assume it would have to be something of Ravenclaw's."

Harry didn't participate with the conversation because he was focusing on the gentle pulls and tugs he felt through the Sword so he could follow it.

A few moments later, Harry and his friends entered the main Chamber where he defeated the Basilisk and Tom Riddle; thereby unknowingly destroyed the first Horcrux. The Sword was now being pulled with force instead of the mild nudging and pulling that had occurred previously.

"I think it's somewhere in here," announced Harry as the Sword led him to the yet unknown target.

Harry walked by a giant column and the Sword swung in his hand, pointing at the pillar. He eyed the stone and mason pillar before him, saying; "I think we found it."

"It's the column?"asked Ron in disbelief.

"Yeah," Harry said, walking in a circle around the large base. The entire time, the Sword pointed directly at the column.

"He must've made this into a Horcrux when he visited Dumbledore and asked to be the Dark Arts instructor years ago," Hermione said. "That would explain why his 'One-Year Curse' against the Defense instructors has worked so well. He has a fragment of his spirit in the castle itself, powering the curse!"

"Okay, so his soul is in the column which is connected to the castle, and therefore it's something that belonged to all four Founders," said Harry.

"Let's end this, use the Sword and destroy it," Hermione said, clearly excited over the notion of demolishing the last Horcrux.

"Ah, I wouldn't do that," Luna said, her wide, silvery grey eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"Why not?" asked Harry, just as eager as his lover to destroy the Horcrux.

"I have a very good sense of direction and I'm fairly certain that we're directly under the Astronomy Tower," the blonde said.

"So?"

"The Horcuxes that have been destroyed before split in half when the Sword touched it, even slightly, correct?" Luna said. "That means that the column will split in half when Harry uses the Sword on it."

"Oh, shite,"cursed Hermione as she, too, looked up at the ceiling.

"What does that mean?" asked Ron.

"It means that this column looks big enough to be the main support for the Tower. If we destroy the Horcrux, we destroy the column, and destroying the column will bring the Astronomy Tower down right on top of the school," explained Harry with dread as the image of the giant tower falling on the castle and turning it to rubble played out in his head.

"If we destroy the Horcrux, we destroy the school," Hermione clarified further.

"Shite," echoed Ron.

"But we can't just let this last Horcrux go," Harry said, struggling with the decision that faced him: let the school stand and Voldemort would be immortal or destroy the school in order defeat the fiend and save countless lives. Harry sighed and steeled himself for what had to be done.

"I love this castle, it's the closest thing I've ever had to a real home. But Voldemort's out there hurting and killing people. We can't have that," he said. "Even though this castle means so much to me and a lot of other people, in order to defeat Voldemort, we have to destroy it."

"Obviously, we'd have to evacuate the school before we destroy the Horcrux," offered Hermione, agreeing with Harry's assessment. "We can ask the House-Elves to make sure everyone is out. They know all of the hiding places and secret rooms. That and all the books as well; we'd have to save them of course. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to the books... or the people. Then we'll make a Portkey to transport us to safety once Harry destroys the Horcrux." There was a sad warble in her voice over the thought of ruining the school.

"Wait, I have a better idea," Harry said. "Even if we destroy this Horcrux, I'll still have to defeat Voldemort. Why not lure him in here and destroy the column, then the whole castle crumbling down on his head will do all the work for me and I won't have to duel Voldemort."

"How would we trick him into coming into the Chamber?" asked Ron.

"We can have Snape tell him it would be the best way to attack the school," said Hermione. "We could convince McGonagall to remove the Anti-Portkey Wards around the Chamber if there are any and have Snape tell Voldemort that the Anti-Portkey Wards in the Chamber are weak or even nonexistent and he could use this as a launching point."

"That would be brilliant!" cheered Harry. "That way we can use Snape to lure not only Voldemort, but any followers he still might have here. We'd be able to take care of all of them in one stroke!"

"And Snape could help make sure they can't escape by booby trapping any Portkeys they might have," added Luna.

"I'll write a coded post to Snape tonight," concluded Hermione.

SoG SoG SoG

Later that same night, Harry heard a knock on the door and opened it to find Courtney, the Auror in training that was helping guard the castle.

"Hey Courtney," he greeted the Auror and ushered her into the room. "What brings you by?"

"Hermione asked me over," she answered. "I'm hoping you two want to put on another show for me."

"Err," he began awkwardly. Harry didn't know the reason Hermione had for calling on Courtney. However, knowing how kinky his lover had gotten, it was entirely possible that she did in fact want to give Courtney a show.

"Actually, I asked you here to see if you could do a favor for us," Hermione said.

"Oh, you want me and Draco to return the favor and give you a show!" cheered Courtney. "Fantastic, let me go get him!"

"Please no,"mumbled Harry. The thought of watching his school-nemesis naked and going at /"it"/was disturbing.

"Well, in a way, yes I do want you and Draco to put on a show," Hermione said and Harry, his fears justified, felt like fleeing. "Harry and I are planning on luring Voldemort into a trap. And to make sure he falls for it, I've devised a ritual that will do just that. But I need someone with the Dark Mark for the ritual to work. That means Draco."

"Wait, I thought we were going to have Snape bait the trap?" Harry whispered into Hermione's ear as to not reveal the identity of their spy to the Auror.

"There's a chance that Voldemort won't fall for it. This ritual I created will ensure that he does buy it," whispered Hermione. "In essence, it will be a burning desire in Voldemort to attack the school."

"Wait, you want You Know Who to attack the school? Are you mad?" Courtney blurted out. Clearly, Hermione's hushed response wasn't as quiet as it needed to be.

"Don't worry; the House-Elves will make sure every one is away from the school and safe," assured Hermione. "As well as all the books."

"I don't know if I like this idea," Courtney said. "The thought of You Know Who attacking the school is scary to say the least."

"We have a failsafe plan that will end Voldemort," Hermione said confidently.

"You're sure?"

"Positive,"answered Harry.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" the Auror asked.

"As I said before, this ritual will instill a burning desire in Voldemort. And this burning desire will come from Draco with his Dark Mark the connecting factor,"explained Hermione. "I need Draco to be really, really randy for this ritual to work properly. The desire he feels will fuel the ritual, therefore, the more he feels the better the ritual will work."

"So you want me to shag him rotten?" asked Courtney. "Hell, I don't need an excuse to do that."

"It has to be more than just a wild shag," corrected Hermione. "It has to be the most memorable moment of his life. His wildest desire and fantasies must be fulfilled. Draco has to be one-hundred percent into the act, if you know what I mean."

"Hell no!" barked Harry, knowing where his girlfriend was heading. Even though Draco was with Courtney, it was no secret that the blond Slytherin still harbored feelings for Harry.

"What? Oh, I get it; all of Draco's fantasies!" the Auror said with a wicked smile. "So you want me and Harry to double team Draco? A little /'Draco //Sandwich//'/action?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes," replied Hermione.

"I'd rather die a horrible, screaming death," Harry said, firmly. Such a fate was infinitely more appealing than being the slightest bit intimate with Draco.

"But Harry, it'll be for the greater good." Courtney said with a bemused chuckle.

"The greater good can suck 'Harry, Jr.'"

"No, that'll be Draco doing the sucking, not the greater good," returned Courtney playfully.

"Hell no!"repeated Harry with no humor whatsoever.

"C'mon, if you do Draco, Hermione and I will do each other and you can watch," suggested the Auror.

The idea of Draco disgusted and revolted Harry so much that even the enticing thought of two beautiful witches making love wasn't enough to sway him, even slightly.

"I knew... and actually hoped Harry wouldn't do that. So I came up with a backup plan," Hermione said, pulling a flask out of her robes. "I nicked some polyjuice from Slughorn's supply cupboard earlier today." The brunette handed Courtney the flask. "I suggest that you and Draco do the deed then you can leave the room and say something about having a present for him. Once you're out of his sight, you can take the polyjuice, return to the room and do Draco again. For it to really work, Draco will have to believe that it's the real deal, that it's Harry, not you under polyjuice, at the time. But after you're done, please tell him the truth; I don't want Draco thinking my lover swings both ways."

"Place this ball somewhere in the room," Hermione said, handing Courtney something that looked like a cross between a crystal ball and a paperweight. "It will absorb the passion Draco feels. That will be the fuel for the ritual."

"I'll get to see what Tonks was talking about when she said she knew how much blokes like blow-jobs, now. Draco has been aching to gobble up Harry's bits," Courtney said with a broad smile. "I'll bring you the ball back tomorrow."

With that, Courtney left the room. Harry felt a chill descend upon him at the thought of someone taking his form to bugger Draco. Even if it was for the greater good, the mere thought of Courtney using a magic replica of 'Harry, Jr.' to go spelunking in Draco's cave made Harry nauseous. 'Harry, Jr.' should never, ever do that - even if the 'Harry, Jr.' in question wasn't the real thing but a replica. It was an affront to his penis that it be used in such an awful manner.

"I knew this would be troubling for you, so I've got you a present for being such a brave man,"said Hermione as she walked over to the cupboard. She withdrew a blindfold and wrapped it around her head and eyes.

"I think we'll need more than just kinky sex to quell my nausea," said Harry with a frown. He could feel his skin turn clammy as if he was going to be physically ill.

"Oh, it'll be more than just kinky," Hermione's voice sounded from inside the bathroom, several feet away from where she was standing.

Harry looked to the Hermione still by the cupboard and asked "You got another Time Turner?"

"Not just a Time Turner, Harry," a third Hermione's voice came from the bedroom.

Two more blindfolded versions of Hermione, evidently from the near future, stepped out of their respective rooms and stood in the doorways. After a moment where he opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, Harry asked; "But didn't we get rid of the Time Turner?"

"I created a new one through a time paradox again," Hermione, the original one standing by the cupboard said. "One of the future versions of me handed the Time Turner to me earlier."

"And I got that Time Turner from her a few hours from now so that I can give it to her in the past," the future Hermione in question said.

"So the Time Turner popped into existence due to a paradox just like the one we used before,"the third added.

"I better not think about it otherwise I'll just end up with a headache," Harry said, pushing his mind away from trivial things such as paradoxes and to more important issues such as three Hermiones.

"But this night isn't just about the joys of Time Turners. I stole three dosages of polyjuice from Slughorn, not just one," the Hermione by the cupboard said. "One for Courtney to use with Draco, and the other two for me."

The two future Hermiones shuffled blindly to join their past version by the cupboard. The original Hermione handed each of her doppelgangers a flask. As her duplicates drank their potions, Hermione said "I also took some hair from Su Li and Padma Patil."

Harry's eyes nearly popped out of his head and performed a jig as two versions of Hermione slowly changed into the exotic beauties of Su and Padma. Su was significantly smaller than Hermione whereas Padma was pleasantly stacked with an attractive, ample bum. This meant that Hermione-Su look rather silly in her now-oversized robes and Hermione-Padma's robes popped open due to her large breasts.

"Remember to breathe, Harry," Hermione said in Padma's voice.

"I took the liberty of brew a few dosages of virility potions for tonight," she said in Su's voice.

"And don't get any ideas about using the Time Turner to bring future versions of yourself tonight like last time," original Hermione said. "This is a present for you."

With his eyes closed, Harry took in a long, deep breath to center himself. Once he achieved this cool and collected state - or as close as his randy mind would allow -Harry opened his eyes and suggested; "How about we start things off with the three of you 'entertaining' one another while I sit over here and watch for a bit. Think of it as... what did you call it the last time we used the Time Turner? Ah yes, think of it as 'advanced masturbation.'"

"That's a good idea," Su-Hermione said.

"I say you and I team up on Padma-me," Hermione said to her Su-double. "She has lovely breasts and I can't wait to play with them."

"Then we can see if we're good at labia-licking, as opposed to Neville's testimony regarding Ginny's talents," offered Padma-Hermione as the other two exposed her large breasts.

A tear escaped 'Harry, Jr.'s eye at the sight of Padma-Hermione's boobs. They weren't nearly as large as Luna's, which were enormous, but they were impressive. The polyjuiced-Indian witch's big, dark nipples and areolas stood out in contrast with Hermione and Su-Hermione's pinks tongues as they licked them.

"Polyjuice role-playing is awesome!" Harry cheered from his chair as Hermione and Su-Hermione continued to stimulate Padma-Hermione.

OMAKE:

At a table in a secluded corner of the library, three witches huddled together, whispering softly to one another.

"What do you want our hair for?" Su Li asked of Hermione.

"It's a surprise for Harry," she replied. At Su and Padma's curious and somewhat offended looks, Hermione amended "No, it's not like Harry's a nutter who collects witches' hair. I nicked some polyjuice from Slughorn."

"So what, you are going to shag him as Su then as me?" Padma inquired.

"In essence, yes,"answered Hermione. The brunette added vaguely; "There's something that's going to happen tonight that will make Harry very nervous and more than a bit upset. But seeing that it'll be the right thing to do, he'll do it. I want to reward him. And to do that, I'll need some of your hair."

Hermione didn't want to explain that her plan that would upset Harry would be having an acquaintance polyjuice herself into Harry and shag Draco. It would take far too long and Hermione knew that mentioning anything to do with Draco and sex might turn Padma and Su off, even if by proxy.

The two witches looked at each other for a moment before returning their gazes to Hermione.

"No," Su said, firmly.

"Why not? I'm only asking for a single a hair," protested Hermione.

"If word got out that we gave you some hair to use in polyjuice, every Tom, Dick and Larry would be pestering us," replied Padma.

"The expression is 'Tom, Dick, and Larry'," corrected Hermione.

"We wouldn't mind if Harry pestered us."

"Excuse me?" asked Hermione, confused by Padma's statement.

"Coming back to the issue at hand, most blokes in this castle would be more than just a little eager to shag a hot Asian like me or a gorgeous Indian like Padma," added Su.

"I swear I won't tell a soul," Hermione persisted. "Neither will Harry. You can trust us."

"We do trust you," Su insisted. "It's just that no one can really keep a secret in this castle. Everything has a tendency to slip out eventually."

"Sort of like how those porn Pensieves of you two slipped out," Padma pointed out.

"Somehow, someway, news would get out that we gave you our hair and every wizard from the first years all the way to the instructors would be on our back; either trying to nick some hair while we weren't looking or constantly begging us for some," Su further clarified.

"I can see your point," Hermione said, understanding her peers' hesitation. "I guess I'll just come up with another way to surprise and reward Harry."

The brunette made to get up and leave when Su took hold of her arm.

"Now just wait a tick," the Asian said. "You shouldn't give up so easily."

"Yeah, you hardly even objected," added Padma.

"But you said no and I didn't want to press," said Hermione, taking her seat once again.

The Asian and Indian withes looked at each other once again; this time with a rosy bloom to their cheeks and a sparkle in their eyes.

"Well, you could just tell Harry that you're using polyjuice," suggested Su.

"Are you trying to tell me that I should have him to pretend I'm one of you?" asked Hermione.

"Or you could tell him we're you under polyjuice," said Padma.

"Excuse me?" a shocked Hermione demanded. "Are you implying that I should share my boyfriend?"

"Yes," replied Padma.

"Sure," Su's answered sounded a half-second after Padma's. "Clearly, he knows how to please a witch. And we want some of Sex-God Harry."

To say that Hermione was gob smacked would be a terrible understatement. Two witches had just admitted that they wanted the brunette to give them her lover. They wanted to shag Harry, thinking that it was completely normal to ask such athing. Her surprise slowly started to ebb away, replaced with anger. The nerve of Su and Padma! How dare they even contemplate such a thing? A disturbing image of Su banging herself on Harry's lap while Padma waited her turn popped up in Hermione's mind. Her blood boiled.

Then, Hermione's emotion took a surprising and abrupt turn. As the image of Su with Harry still played out, Hermione's anger dissipated and was replaced with a combination of intellectual and physical curiosity. She was intrigued by what Harry's reaction would be. Would he reject another witch outright out of nobility, virtue, and respect for Hermione? Would he accept that same witch if Hermione said it was all right? Would Hermione and Harry's relationship be damaged by this consensual infidelity or was their love strong enough that such things did not matter? Would Harry expect Hermione to bring him another witch every time he deserved something special? Then Hermione's physical curiosity piqued. She'd be a fool not to admit that she thought both Padma and Su were attractive. If Hermione agreed to this unusual request, she would see the two witches in all their glory. A part of Hermione wanted to not only see the other witches naked, but also see them being intimate with Harry. The brunette was surprised and embarrassed by this revelation.

"Okay, but I get to watch," Hermione said in a small, uncomfortable voice. It may have been embarrassing to admit aloud, but Hermione figured if Harry was going to make out in this deal, so would she.

"Err, we had something different in mind," Padma said, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

Hermione fidgeted uncomfortably under the India witch's gaze. She asked Su, "Why is she looking at me like that?"

However, after asking her question, Hermione noticed that Su shared Padma's hungry look. The brunette asked her peers, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well, I know I can speak for Su because we've had this discussion many, many times before; we want to shag you," Padma informed Hermione.

If her breath had not been taken away by shock, Hermione would've blurted out "WHAT?"

"Ever since we saw that Pensieve of you and Harry, we've wanted your legs wrapped around our heads," added Su. She paused and licked her lips. "We want to taste you as you moan."

"Gods look at me; I'm blushing at the thought of being with a gusher," gushed Padma, just not in the way she had mentioned.

"Y-you want to shag me?" asked a dumbstruck Hermione.

"Of course we do,"answered Padma vehemently.

"You're a knockout and clearly a wildcat in the sack," Su added just as passionately. "Who wouldn't want to shag you?"

"But I thought you two had boyfriends?" Hermione pointed out, remembering Padma's public displays of fornication with Denis Creevey.

"Nothing serious,"Su said, noncommittally.

"Just a fling here and there," clarified Padma further. "We aren't dating anyone right now, which means we can hook up with you and Harry."

"Okay then, but I thought you were into boys?" Hermione asked.

"And girls," Su said.

"Yeah, a nice hard cock is a great thing, but so is the tender touch of a beautiful witch," Padma said, placing her hand on Hermione's knee. "Tell us, have you ever known the tender touch of a witch?" she asked in a husky whisper.

Hermione, who was pleasantly surprised that she had not recoiled at Padma's hand resting on her knee, answered; "Well, kind of."

/"'Kind of'/?" Su asked as she placed her hand on Hermione's other knee. "This isn't a 'kind of' situation, Hermione. You've either been with a witch or you haven't. There are no halvesies."

"It was just with myself," justified Hermione. "I've been with a witch, it just wasn't another witch technically. It was me... or rather several me's."

"We're not talking about masturbating," protested Su with a playful chuckle.

"No, I had a Time Turner and I just used it to travel back to the same moment several times,"said Hermione.

"Wait, I heard a rumor that you had a Time Turner in our third year," spoke Padma. "/Ew!/ You went down on yourself when you were thirteen? Ew!"

"I turned fourteen early in our third year," Hermione pointed out.

"Still - ew!"

"But no, I didn't go down on myself in our third year," Hermione said in indignation. "It was fairly recently. Harry and I used a Time Turner that was made from a temporal paradox to copy ourselves in essence and at one point, several versions of me experimented."

"You '/experimented'/on yourself?" asked Su, curiously.

"Yes, I thought of it as /'advanced masturbation.'/"

"See, when you said 'kind of,' I assumed that you and Luna did some stuff together," Su said. "You two seem to be pretty close lately."

"Oh that's right. I forgot about the time Harry and I ate out Luna," Hermione said with a blush.

"The memory of multiple versions of myself and Harry sort of diminished that memory of Luna, sorry," the brunette said with a shrug.

"Wait, wait, I have an idea! We can lie and tell Harry that we're using a Time Turner!"declared Padma. "We tell Harry we're future versions of Hermione and we can all shag Harry and each other at the same time. We could have a foursome with Harry being none the wiser!"

"I haven't agreed to this," protested Hermione.

"What do you mean?" Su asked her Indian friend, ignoring the brunette's argument.

"We can lie to Harry and say we're future versions of Hermione under polyjuice," she explained. "That way all four of us can shag one another without taking turns!"

"That's brilliant because I know how impatient you can get!" cheered Su, more than eager to adopt Padma's plan.

"Excuse me, there are two problems with your idea," Hermione said, interrupting her friend's self-congratulations. "First, Harry's not daft. You just can't walk up to him and say you're me under polyjuice. He'll have to see you change otherwise he'll doubt polyjuice was used and grow inquisitive. Second, and most important, I haven't agreed to both share my boyfriend and myself with either of you!"

"Hermione, while we've been talking, we've moved our hands from you knees and slid them up your thighs. We can tell that you're into the plan because your knickers are wet,"Su informed Hermione. The brunette looked down to see that she did in fact have the two witches' hands up her skirt, petting her through her now-wet knickers.

"But we still have to dupe Harry," pressed Hermione, suddenly completely comfortable with the beautiful witches' fingers playing with her cloth covered womanhood.

"Do you really want to trick him?" asked Su.

"I do," Hermione replied. "If he realizes what's going on, he might begin to expect me to bring another witch or two into our bed whenever I want him to do something or I want to thank him."

"That's a good point,"Padma said. "He'd be spoiled rotten."

"I know, we'll just take the polyjuice and put your hair in it," Su offered. "That way, Harry can see us as you. Then we take another dose of polyjuice, this time with our own hair, and then Harry will see the witches he thinks are future versions of you turning into Padma and me."

"That means we have to nick at least two more dosages of polyjuice from Slughorn's supply,"said Hermione.

"That won't be a problem. It's Friday afternoon, that means Slughorn is in greenhouse number four trimming Sprout's hedges," Padma said. "It's a weekly ritual for the two."

With that, the three witches trotted to the Potions Lab to steal some more potion.

Later That Night...

Padma and Su waited patiently in Head Students' bathroom and bedroom, respectively, for their cue. They heard Hermione and Harry's muffled conversation with the Auror. Then they heard the Auror say goodbye. Each witch drank the vial of polyjuice with a strand of Hermione's hair. They felt their skin and bodies change into duplicates of the attractive brunette witch. A quick wave of their wands and their robes and clothes magically altered themselves into exact copies of the outfit that Hermione wore. Quickly, Padma and Su donned their blindfolds to reinforce the illusion that they were Hermione from the future and not dare look upon each other in fear of something dreadful happening. Of course, Harry would have no idea that these blindfolds were charmed so that the wearer could see quite normally.

When Harry said;"I think we'll need more than just kinky sex to quell my nausea." Padma said in Hermione's voice; "Oh, it'll be more than just kinky."

"You got another Time Turner?" asked Harry, joyfully.

"Not just a Time Turner, Harry," said Su in a copy of Hermione's voice.

As the real Hermione explained that she had taken polyjuice from Slughorn, Su and Padma shuffled out of the bathroom and bedroom and joined Hermione by the cupboard, just as they had planned earlier that evening. Hermione handed her fake doubles two vials of polyjuice; one containing a hair from Padma, the other Su's. As the two witches drank the potion, Hermione said to Harry, "Oh, I also took some hair from Su Li and Padma Patil."

Once again, Su and Padma's bodies began to change under the effects of polyjuice. However, in the excitement of the impending foursome, Hermione fumbled slightly. The brunette was supposed to hand her fake duplicate on the right the vial in her right and the left to the one on the left. Unfortunately, the thought of a real live foursome, not some trick with the Time Turner, had thrilled Hermione so much that she accidentally swapped hands. Therefore she gave Padma the polyjuice with Su's hair and Su the potion with Padma's hair.

"Where are my titties?" whispered Padma in Su's voice. "I'm flat!"

"Oi, I'm not flat!" protested Su in Padma's voice just quiet enough so that Harry couldn't overhear. "I just don't have balloons glued to my chest like you do."

"My titties aren't balloons!" argued Padma.

"Be quiet! We can't argue now!" hissed Hermione. "Besides, Padma doesn't have balloons. Yes, she has big breasts, but they're no where near the size of Luna's."

"Well, there's no point trying to correct it now," Padma said.

"Yeah, we can't slip out to steal more polyjuice," Su added.

"We'll make the best of it and go with the flow," concluded Hermione.

The three turned their attention back to Harry.

"Remember to breathe, Harry," Su said in Padma's voice, knowing that the sight of three witches was wreaking havoc on Harry's brain and body.

"I took the liberty of brew a few dosages of virility potions," said Padma in Su's voice.

"And don't get any ideas about using the Time Turner to bring future versions of yourself tonight like last time. This is a present for you," Hermione said, knowing that if she didn't Harry would leap at the chance to duplicate himself like he had done when they used a Time Turner previously.

The three witches heard Harry taking in a deep breath before speaking; "How about we start things off with the three of you 'entertaining' one another while I sit over here and watch for a bit. Think of it as... what did you call it the last time we used the Time Turner? Ah yes, think of it as 'advanced masturbation.'"

"That's a good idea," Padma-Su said.

"I say you and Iteam up on Padma-me," Hermione. "She has lovely breasts and I can't wait to play with them."

"Yeah, it'll be interesting playing with my own titties on another person," Padma-Su replied in a whisper to the two witches as they undressed the polyjuiced Su.

The Next Morning...

The sun poured into Harry and Hermione's bedroom. As she did every morning, Hermione snuggled up to Harry. Surprisingly, Hermione was currently rubbing her face into a set of large breasts.

"Oh, bother," she exclaimed. Her eyes shot open and confirmed that she had been nuzzling Padma's wonderful bare breasts. With fear gripping her heart, Hermione whipped her head around to find Harry, awake with his head propped one the headrest with avery naked Su slumbering in his arms.

"I can explain,"Hermione blurted out. "It's an advance form of polyjuice. It can last a whole day. That's why my future versions of myself haven't reverted to their natural appearance."

"Is that so," he said, coyly. "Then how do you explain that Su turned into Padma while I was buggering her last night?"

"The potion is still experimental and has a few flaws," she answered lamely.

"Ah, does one of these so-called flaws explain why the future versions of you don't cry out 'Sweet Baby Maeve' when they have an orgasm?" he asked quietly as to not wake the two sleeping witches.

"They didn't?"

"No, the one that started out as Padma but turned into Su kept screaming 'I'm cumming! I'm cumming!' while the one that ended up as Padma made loud, high pitched moans when she came."

"Yes, it must be the potion," Hermione said with a weak smile.

"Hermione," he said her names in a way that told her he wasn't buying her line in the slightest.

"Okay, okay," she said, finally giving in. "I wanted to reward you for the whole Draco and Courtney thing. So I approached Su and Padma with every intention of using polyjuice on myself to surprise you. But then these two talked me into this."

"They talked you into a foursome?"

"They were very convincing."

"Obviously."

"Does this change everything?" Hermione asked, hesitant and nervous of his answer. She was afraid that he was going to say that it did.

"I don't know, you tell me," he returned.

"I think you're the one who has to answer that, Harry. You are the man after all and I know how much blokes like to be with more than one woman at a time."

"Me? What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You were awildcat last night."

"So people have told me."

"No, no, I mean more so," Harry adjusted. "You were more passionate than I've ever seen. And that says something!"

"Really?"

"Oh, Merlin yes. They way you went after me and these two made me wish that Dobby was still making Pensives of us so I can sell it and make a fortune off of it. I swear my hips are bruised because you rode me so hard. And you were almost merciless with Padma; you didn't let her rest between orgasms."

"I guess I got lost in the moment."

"That would explain the sushi references you kept making while eating out the one that finally turned into Su."

"Oh my God! I didn't, did I?" she asked, horrified that she might have made such a deplorable remake.

"Of course you didn't," Harry said with a smile. "That would've been way too inappropriate, even if you were in one of your 'dirty talking' moods."

"Inappropriate to say the least," Hermione said, relieved that Harry was joking.

"Yeah, Su's not even Japanese."

"Harry."

"Just kidding."

"So what do we do now?"

"Well, I guess we have to ask ourselves if this was just a fluke. Was the passion we all felt just an inferno that engulfed itself?"

"That was nearly poetic, Harry."

"I know. Isurprise myself sometimes."

Hermione worried her lip as she considered Harry question. Was it just a one time thing? Now that she had tasted the passion of three people, could she return to just one person? She knew for a fact that if she did, Harry would be an excellent lover. But, Su and Padma had unlocked something inside Hermione. Something that she herself had not even known existed. Could she not know the touch of awitch for the rest of her life?

After a few moments, Harry interrupted Hermione's silent ponderings. "How about we save this answer for later and wake these two sleepy-heads?"

Smiling, Hermione said, "We can't just wake them up abruptly. That would be a rude thing to do with our guests."

"You know, I heard somewhere that oral sex is a wonderful way to wake up," offered Harry.

After gently and carefully crawling down the bed, Harry and Hermione repositioned themselves between Su and Padma's legs. A few moments later the two witches' cries and moans of passion confirmed Harry's assessment about oral sex and waking up.