Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Obama Wants to Be the Next Pope

WASHINGTON, DC - Sources close to the White House have learned
that Barack Obama is planning to run for the office of Pope when the
College of Cardinals convenes to elect a successor to ailing Benedict
XVI at the end of this month.

Calling on the promise of Equality for All, Obama is said to firmly
believe that the time has come for a non-Catholic to occupy the
Vatican's highest office. Foreseeing a looming citizenship issue he
claims to have discovered an Italian birth certificate that proves he
was born in Rome before he was born in Kenya. "That Hawaiian birth
certificate never has been worth what I paid for it anyway", he noted.
Continuing, he concluded, "And there's no way that a handful of
cardinals could be more expensive to buy than 10 million voters in
Michigan."

Further questions should be directed to Obama's Papal Campaign Manager,
Abdul Azeem Khan.