John Mack: If I Wasn’t A Banker, I Would Have Been A Women’s Shoe Salesman

As you may have heard, yesterday afternoon, Morgan Stanley held a little good-bye party for John Mack, who will step down as chairman at the end of the year. What are Mack’s plans for the retirement phase of his life? Will he sail around the world? Restore old cars? Work on his golf game? Take up fly fishing? Move back down to his native North Carolina? Teach a course on business at his alma mater, Duke University? While those would all be admirable pursuits, it’s not likely Mack will have the time for them. Because John Mack, you see, has his sights set on something bigger. The realization of a dream, if you will. The dream of selling women’s shoes.

According to someone who attended yesterday’s gathering, Mack “talked about how if he hadn’t been a banker, he would have wanted to be a women’s shoe salesman. He said he loves watching the fierce New York ladies trying on Manolo Blahniks at Bergdorf Goodman–and recommends that all men go there and just sit and watch– because ladies will just walk up to you and ask you for your opinion.” In fact: “Once he told a woman, ‘Those are the ones. Get them.’ And the manager came up to him and said ‘Can you come here every day??'” Apparently Mack told people that his retirement is going to include being “a part-time salesman in the women’s shoe department at Berdorf’s.” While it’s unclear if he’s officially applied for the job yet, it goes without saying we support this wholeheartedly. Sure, there’ll be some tough days when he wonders why he got into all this (particularly when a certain Treasury Secretary looking to settle a score shows up in drag and after making Mack run back and forth fetching twenty different pairs of shoes in three different sizes, declares “You know what? I think I’m going to buy these on Zappos- don’t want to pay the NYC sales tax”), but it’ll be worth it.

61246121 Responseshttp%3A%2F%2Fdealbreaker.com%2F2011%2F12%2Fjohn-mack-if-i-werent-a-banker-i-would-have-been-a-womens-shoe-salesman%2FJohn+Mack%3A+If+I+Wasn%27t+A+Banker%2C+I+Would+Have+Been+A+Women%27s+Shoe+Salesman+2011-12-08+15%3A59%3A26Bess+Levinhttp%3A%2F%2Fdealbreaker.com%2F%3Fp%3D61246 to “John Mack: If I Wasn’t A Banker, I Would Have Been A Women’s Shoe Salesman”

John Mack: Well, I suppose I could, uh, work in a shop of some kind, or… or do, uh, freelance, uh, selling of some sort of, uh, product. You know…
Bergdorf: A salesman?
John Mack: A salesman, like maybe in a, uh, haberdasher, or maybe like a, uh, um… a chapeau shop or something. You know, like, "Would you… what size do you wear, sir?" And then you answer me.
Bergdorf: Uh… seven and a quarter.
John Mack: "I think we have that." See, something like that I could do.
Bergdorf: Yeah… you think you'd be happy doing something like-…
John Mack: "No; we're all out. Do you wear black?" See, that sort of thing I think I could probably… muster up.
Bergdorf: Do you think you'd be happy doing that?
John Mack: Well, I don't know – wh-wh-… what're the hours?

You do realize that on the intensedebate commenting platform, it's not possible to give two thumbs up, which is what she would like to do, based on the hilarity of TBTF's comment, right? Or did you not?

You clearly do not read the site. Most articles are simply humorous, and if there's a negative aspect, like, say, a bank losing billions of dollars, that's not "Bess Levin" being negative, that's A BANK LOSES BILLIONS OF DOLLARS = SOMETHING NEGATIVE. How do you not understand the distinction?

Awesome! Rejoins MS at $35 levers it to $68 and leaves when it hits around $16. Meanwhile collecting hundreds of millions in comp. My f'ing hero! Where are the shareholders yachts? By the way, he looks like a combo of the Soup Nazi and Monk.

Mack is no heel! Sure, he might shank bad guys financially so you have to watch your tongue. As he laces up his career and bares his sole, will he meet a Greek lady and "Buster Brown"? Will he take off in a van's security and style? He might go out instep with other leaders of his day. If the shoe fits, wear it I say. If he toes the line people won't say he was a loafer. If he meets a cute chick he won't slipper a Mickey Finn. At his physical Doc Marten said, "Bend over.." but Mack replied, "Hey, remember you're no shoe in."

Bergdorff HR: Mr. Mack, I understand you want to work in our renowned shoe department. Do you, by chance, carry a Discover card?
Mack: Of course I do. I bought the company.
Bergdorff HR: I'm sorry Mr. Mack, our customers don't want to interact with people with a Discover card. Perhaps you should contact Sears?

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