LeBron James awakes from dream, realizes he’s going bald

Miami Heat forward LeBron James has never been known for self-awareness.

His “Decision,” to leave Cleveland and “take his talents to South Beach” was one of the biggest marketing failures for a sports personality since Alex Rodriguez followed the money out of Seattle.

His comments directed at critics after the Heat lost the NBA Finals to the Dallas Mavericks (“At the end of the day, all the people that were rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day, they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today”) exposed him as a entitled multimillionaire with no empathy for the people who essentially pay his salary.