How to Approach Girls at Bars and Clubs (sneaky But Clever)

Let’s face it. If you’re anything like the 99% of guys on the planet, you get terrified when you see a beautiful woman at a bar or club. This isn’t because you’re scared of girls, but because you’re scared of what to do and say around them, especially the pretty ones. If you can just figure out how to get into a conversation with them in a non-threatening way, you’re already way ahead of half the entire male population. I’m going to show you exactly how to do this.

I used to be just like you. Before I became naturally good at attracting women, I used to stutter and stammer when I tried to talk to a girl, and I came across as creepy and needy. Then I figured out a little trick that worked like a charm. I could easily start a funny and playful conversation with a girl, without her thinking I was trying to hit on her. But, although it didn’t seem like I was trying to pick her up, subconsciously they would see me as a cool and attractive guy and I had no problem taking a lot of them home at the end of the night.

A little disclaimer: This trick requires that you take just a little advantage of one of your friends. But in the end there’s no harm done.

OK, if you think you’re ready for it, read on.

STEP 1: You should be talking to a guy friend of yours, preferably just the two of you, and walk around until you see a girl you want to approach. Stop there for about a minute or two.

STEP 2: Say to your friend, “hang on a sec,” and walk up to the girl you want to talk to. In fact, the prettier she is, the better. You know what? Go ahead and find the absolute HOTTEST girl in the bar.

STEP 3: Approach her from the side, so she can see you coming in her periphery. Position your mouth about 8-12 inches from her ear and say (sort of a loud whisper, really), with confidence and indifference (since you’re not trying to pick her up), “Hey, listen, my buddy over there thinks you’re really hot. He really wants to talk to you but he’s so shy, it’s kinda funny actually [motion your head to friend who will be standing alone].” Watch her reaction to she if she’s interested in talking to him. 9 times out of 10 she won’t be. She may say something like, “oh, thanks.” Whatever she says, just tell her, “do me a huuuge favor and just talk to him for like, 2 minutes… he’s a real sweetheart, I promise!” Be fun and playful about it. Talk to her as if you two are old friends.

STEP 4: Whatever she chooses to do, you’re in now. You can either keep her engaged and start a conversation from here, or let her talk to your friend, who will most likely be so thrown off guard that he won’t know what to say around her and she’ll come running back to you.

So why does this work? In Step 3 above, you are saying one thing, but conveying something else entirely. What you’re saying is: you’re friend thinks she’s good looking, which she probably hears a thousand times a day. What you’re conveying is this: it’s your friend, not you that thinks she’s attractive. He’s shy, you are the confident one who had no problem approaching her and telling her what to do. You want her to talk to him, you are indifferent to whether she stays or leaves. Girls are naturally attracted to guys who exhibit all of these behaviors.

And the best part is, since you aren’t ACTUALLY hitting on her, you CAN’T be rejected, so you have no reason to be nervous in the first place!

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