The Wall Street Journal reports that more than 550 health professionals nationwide have penned a letter to Mickey D’s CEO James Skinner asking him to stop targeting kids in their marketing campaigns. (As if.) The letter will run in newspaper ads across the country today. The gist: Stop selling fatty, calorie-laden foods to kids. And stop using Ronald McDonald as your pusher!

The Boston Herald quotes a spokesperson as responding thus: “Ronald McDonald is not retiring. He is the heart and soul of Ronald McDonald House Charities, which lends a helping hand to families in their time of need, particularly when families need to be near their critically ill children in hospitals.”

But if things continue to go this poorly for Ronnie, we’re guessing he’ll be the bedridden one soon enough. Damaged red wig? A beating using one of those oversize clown shoes? Only time will tell!