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April 13, 2016

L – Listen

I have chosen 26 tips for married life as my theme
for the

A-Z challenge 2016. Today’s word is Listen

Today’s word is Listen! Which is a very common word, in a world where everybody
wants to talk, and nobody wants to listen. We find very few people really
listening. I do not mean hearing which all of us do most of the times in our
day to day lives. I am getting paid only
to listen at my counseling centre, and every day I keep listening to different
kinds of problems that young people face. The struggles and pain I feel when I listen
to them and some their problems could be solved only with empathetic listening.

Google images

Unfortunately when they don’t find anyone to listen and understand it becomes
difficult for them to carry on for a long period of time. Life becomes a big
burden and with heavy baggage they find difficult to concentrate, and achieve
their full potential. Counseling provides that space for them to vent, to
articulate and unload whatever issues that is binding them from within. So that
they can free themselves and emotionally normalize and move on focusing on
their academics/career.

Google images

It’s
the same in a marital relationship; unless we communicate with one another, we
would never understand the other person’s thought processes. In order to
understand the other person, we need to listen without judging the person. Our
minds are conditioned to keep judging all the time, and we don’t really listen
and if we attempt, it is only to give ready answers, proving our point, which
does not really help in a marriage. I heard many times, to love is to listen!
So true, when we love our partner we will put aside everything else and listen
not only to what the person is saying; but also to what the person is not
saying.

Google images

Listening
can be demanding and we learn only by practice to listen with love, without judgements,
and Listen in order to understand. Listening can be a healing process… and it
helps us not to jump to conclusion very fast, avoids attacking the person, or
belittling the partner for his mistakes. Myself and David have learnt to listen to each
other, and are still learning to be there for each other in order to understand,
and to be able to face every challenge together as a
couple.

I
have not made any set of rules or regulations at home; but ensured that we have
one meal together at the end of the day; and whenever we are at home, whatever
time we come back from our respective work places, we spend time listening over
a cup of tea and be there for one another to share how we have spent the day
and what we have learnt.

Sometimes David will start talking about his
childhood experiences and the difficulties he faced in keeping his family
together, and how his faith in God helped him to come out of all situations. Sometimes I would share about my parents, how
much they have helped me to educate myself and gave me so much freedom to do
what I want to in terms of choices I made in career and so many other self
development programmes.

So there is no fixed rule or agenda when we are
together, we go by the flow of our own lives, our thought patterns and current
issues we may be dealing with as a couple. I found this link http://decisionquiz.com
very helpful for couples who would love
to improve their communication skills and useful exercises for a satisfying
experience of relating to one another.

8 comments:

Great post!! Thank you. My husband and I are getting good at listening to each other. It's taken some time for us to actually hear what each other is trying to communicate, but we are getting there and after years of training we have quite a few fun chats.

Love is to listen - how true that is Genevive! This is a lovely post about listening, thank you for reminding us. We have to be fully there for the person in empathy and with our ears and heart wide open. I love the quotes too

Loved your take on 'Listen'. It is so important (as it quoted in the last picture) to not fill in the blanks with our perceptions. In today's times, we somehow have no inkling or time to listen to someone. We are so busy pouring what's on our minds.

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About Me

I am Genevive Angela, journeying with gratitude, evolving myself and finding my purpose of existence here on earth. ... am grateful for everything that happens in my life and I live a life of gratitude :)