No need to take validation from a women. I do chodey shit all the time with women, it totally validates them, but it comes from a non needy place and if the girl tries to test my masculinity and direction in life (which they almost always do when I do something nice for them) I don't react, and if she in any way tries to push me off my path or make me compromise my values, I'll tell her to walk and don't look back. Most of the guys who feed her validation are doing so from a place of reaction and neediness, where as a man who is "alpha" and doesn't need her will validate her because he just wants to do something nice for a woman he likes.

Non reactiveness is a form of devaluation because when a girl sees that you are not afraid to loose her she thinks "Why? every other guy react to me but this guy doesn't" and then when you do validate her by doing something super chodey she melts...she thinks "OMG! This guy is so romantic". It really funny because if a girl is really into you, you can treat her like shit all week, show up with flowers and a card and she will call her friends say "This guy is the most romantic guy i have ever met" mean while joe blow the orbiter has been taking her to dinner every week for 3 months, has bought her flower 6 times, and wright her love letter daily, but he "creepy" haha

Now when it comes to cold approach where she doesn't know you at all you have to make an impression...alex just posted a video about how to knock a 10 off her pedestal, make an impression, call her a name, or do something crazy....get a rise out of her emotionally. Literally almost anything goes! An hb 9/10 has seen it all....if you can throw her off she will remember you. Just remeber the bigger the reaction you get from a girl, the bigger the shit test that will follow.

I don't mean to be the elitist dick on the forum, but did either of u actually fuck any of the girls you were chodey with? can u verify that they were into you enough to actually let you pull them and fuck them??

I'm saying this because the biggest hinderence to my progress was being too generous with good emotions and validation...

because girls will give you the wholeeeeeeeeeeeee show just to keep the validation coming, I mean FULL sexuality and everything without having any intentions of actually fucking you.

but once you take the validation away and they start chasing you to get it back.. now you got the carrot infront of her...

one time I got pissed at a girl and started yelling at her and telling her i didn't want to talk to her anymore and she literally sucked my dick just to get the validation back..

but once she got it back did I get any more blowjobs? no..

so yeah, girls are aware of whats going on.. they know u want to fuck them and they also know they have the carrot infront of YOU and withholding sex is how they keep it infront of you...

you have to switch that dynamic around early or your not getting laid, I promise lol.

in order for her to give a shit, you have to actually have value in her eyes for this to even matter

''1) What is validation to a girl?''

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_validation
in the context of pickup, usually when someone is talking about validation they are referring to social validation, basically when you say or do things people around you socially act according to what you are doing, showing that you are socially accepted

''2) How to take the validation away from her?''

just stop validating her, but for it to even matter you have to be a source of influence to her, if you hold no value to her and there is no point since you are not a source of validation for herhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value_(marketing)

''3) What thoughts / behaviours will she have when she is devalidated?''

subjective to the specific person in question, this question is like asking how is a kid going to feel and act when someone tells him he scored below average on a math test in the second grade

''4) What to do once she is devalidated?''

a better question to ask is why do you feel the need to de-validate someone? feeling slightly sadistic? having issues with compliance? just want to watch the world burn?

if you are trying to learn how to better manipulate people through social proof, pay attention to your surroundings and be aware and focused, create value for the people you want to influence, most things in social interactions play upon reciprocation on many levels and rapport, when people see value behind you and your actions they will start to seek your validation, that is where the manipulation begins, you just influence people to conform by giving direction, reward good behavior, and punish bad behavior, think Pavlov's dog, don't be the dog, be the master

you don't have to think of this in terms of... HUH IF I CALL THIS GIRL A SHE WILL SUCK MY PEEPEE?
no... that's retarded, do what you want and don't reward bad behavior because it will please someone, validate people who cooperate and be a cool person that brings VALUE to others around him, more value = more people look to you for validation = more ability to influence

there is more to it then that if you really want to, eventually you could even build a cult of people sucking your metaphorical cock just by marketing yourself and offering something to them that they want (think they need), to which they respond to emotionally

for example, people think they want money and to get laid or have a huge house and crazy lifestyle, the newest phones and tech or some new random arbitrary shit they think they need because pop culture shoves ''what you need'' down your throat 24/7 with advertising, but what they are really searching for is good emotions, often people who seek these things out and succeed realize they are depressed once they get it because they actually don't need this things or give a fuck about them, they are actually just needy or unhappy and not following a path in life that they truly want to, it's the inside that needs work, that was the real problem to begin with, and that's why you see some celebrities that are rich, famous, good looking and extremely sexually successful... basically throwing their lives away and becoming self destructive depressed drug addicts and in some cases dying of overdoses etc. or basically hitting rock bottom from the top, because once you have it all and realize ''what now'' and still are empty... what then?

Haha yes I fuck them. when a girl says "No I wait to have sex" I say " I respect that but I don't so this wont work" usually thats enough to push these girls over the edge. I give good emotions, i treat women who are in my life like gold but as soon as they try to control me or push me off my path thats it its over....once a woman understands that she can't control me or use sex to control me she respects me and understands that she will need to come into my reality if she want to keep me around and continue to enjoy my attention and the good emotion I give her.

I don't think you should go over bored but I don't think it is wrong to show affection if your into a girl and it comes from a non needy place. The problem is that most men do it out of reaction and not because it is coming from a place of true want..

1. Behaviors attributed to her dictating the situation. Even sweet nothings from other girls like "OMG You look so beautiful tonight."
2. Lead while being comfortable in your own skin.
3. She'll realize you are awesome and you are essentially allowing her to be what she wants.
4. Be normal aka act within your own intentions. See what she likes.

matt_c wrote:

I don't really understand this area of game. Have a few questions that I hope you can help me with.

1) What is validation to a girl?

2) How to take the validation away from her? + Why?

3) What thoughts / behaviours will she have when she is devalidated?

4) What to do once she is devalidated?

Help is appreciated! If we get some good info, I'll compile into an article for RSDN.

1) What is validation to a girl?
Validation - Positive attention from men: Compliments, buying things, being too nice, chasing, supplication, and anything else that reinforces the reality that she is a hot girl and every guy is trying to fuck her.

2) How to take the validation away from her? + Why?

Tyler told me the simple answer to this question, he may have also said it in a video somewhere: Don't validate them, by not needing them. When a guy is needy in any way, he will validate the girl at some point. If a guy is truely non-needy, aloof, and cooler than the girl, this makes him stand out from the leigions of fags and this makes the girls want to fuck that guy because that is the only way they can be validated by a guy who doesn't need them. When you are a guy that is cool, living in abundance, doesn't chase, the girl becomes like the chode who is chasing the hot girl for sex in order to get validated. Thats why hot women love a challenge, date guys that don't do everything they ask (if the girl is lucky enough to get into a relationship with that guy), and genuinely make the girl do things to please them instead of doing things to please the girl. I underlined that because that is the key indicator of when a guy isn't giving the girl too much validation. Validation should be used as a reward when she is doing something good, and something that is taken away as a punishment for bad behavior. By controlling the girl through validation, you can make her do whatever you want her to do.

WHY?
Have you ever had a girlfriend who was super into you, submissive, and wanting to please you with hot sex, cooking for you, cleaning, and basically being totally obsessed? If you were to scold her, or point out something wrong, she would be deeply affected, and if you gave her praise or did something nice for her she would be appreciative. My best friend is a natural master of this type of game. He makes every girl he dates become totally obsessed with him by using pure validation push pull the whole time consistently throughout the relationship. Even if he cheats on his girlfriends and they find out, then dumps them for a new chick, those girls will wait around and constantly be trying to get back with him to get revalidated. I live with the guy so I got to pick up on how he does this and work it in to my cold approach style, and also used it to get a few chicks hooked to my dick like crack. The reason you need to strip a girl of validation, is to become the only one who can validate her at all, and make her loyal to you.

3) What thoughts / behaviours will she have when she is devalidated?

She will chase you, become submissive to you, and most of all test the shit out of you to see if you are faking that you don't really need her. Once she knows that you are cooler than her by social proof, pre-selection, or simple solid cold approach game, she will start becoming the persuer. There is always one person higher value than the other in any interaction, the one with the lower value always chases the higher value person. As long as you can build attraction, genuanely are not seeking validation from others (especially the girl), you can get the girl to chase pretty quick.

4) What to do once she is devalidated?

Whatever the fuck you want. You are the selector, she will chase you all fucking night unless an even cooler guy comes along and eclipses you. If you want to bang her, just push pull her until you are ready to leave, pull back to her place and fuck. This is pretty much the foundation of how natural attraction works. It all ties back to validation.

Whatever I thought might hold me back, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list, except as tools for my sexual needs." - From the 1977 autobiography "Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder" by Arnold Schwarzenegger

I have had more success lately doing nothing. No jokes, no excitment in my voice. No exageratted movements, no dancing, no impressing, no kino. The only kino I do is after a while on the date I hold her hand. Then I ask her "Would you like to go to my place to watch a movie?" That's it, then after in my bedroom watch some comedy. Then 30- 45 mins in I ask if it is ok to kiss her. Everytime they say yes. They are comfortable with me because I haven't gropped them at all the whole time. Then slowly excalate and get under covers start taking clothes off, easy. Nothing rushed or hurried. Just chilled out comedy Youtube videos.

I used to try and impress them and be funny, and exagerate all my mannerisms and talk alot. (And I wasn't getting laid at all, maybe couple times it worked) Now close to 90%- 95% close rate on online dating. I use same date everytime, bowling close to my house. Nothing sexual about bowling, I never talk about sex, never mention or anything. Bowling is original enough and old fashioned that most guys don't do it. Most guys try to jump too many comfort hurdles really quickly. They try and score from messages online dating. Why waste your fucking time doing that? Never send dick picks, talk about sex online. Never ask girl out for a coffee date, boring. Be different you gonna stand out from all the other guys. I stand out so much now being normal. That girls come on to me. Text me "Come pick me up." Or they just come to my house from online messaging.

All of this works better when you change all your thoughts, words and emotions (all day) to positive thoughts, good feeling emotions and speak good things that you want to happen. It is not a quick route to get good. You have to go slow and work on yourself everyday a bit. Read positive books, audios, associate with winners. And try, try, try, learn, learn, learn. And experiment. I am even having luck just pulling up to cute girls in my car and asking if they want a ride. Most people would think girls would freak out. But no, when you work on yourself, are cool and open, honest and non-threatening girls can tell right away. They just look in your eyes and hop right in.