Question

Emotionally absent father at 37 weeks (first baby for both of us)

Share

My boyfriend, age 22, is having a hard time making any sacrifices. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and on bed rest. He works 2pm to 10pm with an odd sleeping schedule which has him up all night and sleeping in until 1PM (after months of arguing over that, he hasn't made an effort to change it). At the beginning of my pregnancy he was staying out late and doing his own thing. I trust that he isn't cheating, drinking, or doing drugs...but it concerns me now that we're so close that he never wants to spend time with me. Especially lately. He spends nights at his mothers and spends late nights with friends. I'm boring right now and I understand this. I don't want to have to say "stay home and watch me be boring" but I would appreciate it if he WANTED to spend some time with me. When I've tried to talk to him about it before, he acts like I'm pushing him away.
How can I talk to him without him being angry? If I just wait it out, is it likely that he will come around?

Mom Answers

I'm sorry he's being that way. My fiance isn't much different though! I keep reading about several men being "gone" mentally. I try to appreciate that my man is still there realistically but I have to nag him and it sucks. We have made a routine of him giving me a back massage every night-he complains like a little kid but at least he does it! :( Since I used to give him one every night it bothers me extra that he can't reciprocate freely but o well. Mine has an odd work schedule and sleep schedule similarly and it's not helpful but I'm glad he is working. The thing is they don't seem to get that we are working hard too just our bodies making a baby is very hard work. If you are on bedrest he should realize it's not easier for you it's actually more difficult on you! Sadly enough maybe you need to be a nag from time to time, and ask him if he feels he should be an important part of helping you feel better-doesn't need to "fix" it that just being there cuddling/listening/loving u helps!

This Internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional. Please review the Terms of Use before using this site. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use.

This site is published by BabyCenter, L.L.C., which is responsible for its contents as further described and qualified in the Terms of Use.