Shoeless, bra-less 100 metre sprint

Yesterday Reilly’s taxi to school was late. He’d been up since 4.30 and as always was ready sitting by the window watching for the bus. 5 minutes earlier Alex (thing 1) was leaving for work and asked if he could take my key, yes no problem don’t lock it I’m not going anywhere and Reilly’s taxi will be here any minute.

This was a massive error on my part that will never be repeated. It left me wide open for escape attempts and general naughtiness. Was like an episode of 24 but we’ll call it 1 and a bit.

07.55 Reilly has taken up seat on the pouffe with remaining piece pain au chocolat from breakfast.

08.00 I’m wondering if there’s a lot of traffic today.

08.05. Starting to get a bit edgey. Reilly trying to take off shoes.

08.10 Debating whether to ring in a missing persons report for taxi driver.

08.15. Attempt a sneaky wee in downstairs toilet right beside the front door. Eyes of the prize and he’s off. So am I mid dribble.

08.17. Retrieve Reilly from house round the corners driveway where he’s stood tracing their car reg with his finger. Thank god their door was locked.

8.20. Back in the house and bribing Reilly away from the door with kitkats, kinder eggs, paw patrol and jigsaws, he’s having none of it and we have a standoff. He wins.

08.30. Get phone from upstairs takes approx 4 seconds and he’s out. I give chase shoeless, bra-less in mismatched budgies died pyjamas. Give a jaunty wave and stupid face that says haha look how funny we are while dying inside to the neighbours pulling out in car as I try keeping my bottoms up, my bristols in and keep up with Reilly. So cold I can hardly breathe and defo have frostbite on my stone imprinted feet.

08.43 Text husband and declare state of emergency.

08.45 Husband texts back to say taxi stuck on A19 but is coming and to keep the faith.

08.55 I admit defeat put my coat on over my pyjamas. I have few luxuries in life, one is staying in pyjamas as long as physically possible and I excel at it.

08.56 Counting and hopping on and off paving stones around the drive willing the taxi to appear.

09.05. I’m so cold I fear I might cry.

09.10. Reilly runs away again with another attempt to get in his favourite house around the corner.

09.15. I have 2 hands and a cheek pressed on window looking for the taxi.

09.20. I hear the rumble of the minibus, hurrah! Bustle Reilly out the door, wave and leg it back inside.

09.25. Hairdryer blasting on my feet, cup of tea and some lemon curd on toast and I’m wondering what all the fuss was about.

We managed to avoid a full blown meltdown. He likes to do things his way in the morning and this threw a spanner in the works but thankfully no need for Kiefer.