Love the Way We Bitch

To all the Mizz Shallowz of HRM

My cousin is not just family, he's also a really good friend of mine, dating back to when we were both born about 30 years ago. He's the sweetest, most generous, hard working guy one could meet. He'd do anything for anyone! He'd treat any woman with the utmost respect and make her feel special every day. Yet, he can't seem to get a girlfriend to save his own mother's life. Why?

Because you single women of this town are stuck-up, shallow, materialistic brats who don't give my cousin the fucking time of day! The very few of you that actually agree to go on a date with him disappear into thin air shortly after. The rest of you just say no to any date period. He would have treated you like a queen, but I guess since he's not rich or he doesn't look like a Calvin Klein model, the answer is always NO for him.

And fuck you, to the girl who went out with him most recently. Ten measly minutes, that's all you spent with him. That's not near enough time to get to know someone! Shallow, shallow, shallow!!!

With his phenomenal personality, why else is he constantly being turned down besides money and looks? I'm sick of seeing him being rejected for these disgusting reasons. He deserves a world's better than all of you. Fuck you! —Best friends with my Cuz

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