relax

February 2017

Y’all. Getting older is hard. I’ve known this, of course, but living alone has made things way more clear for me. The first being that I feel thoroughly unprepared for this shit. And I know I’m not alone in that feeling. It’s not a ~*special millennial snowflake*~ feeling either, by the way. It’s a [holy-tits-no-one-informed-me-how-life-actually-worked,-and-I-wasted-time-learning-the-Pathagorean-theorum-instead-of-how-to-do-taxes] feeling.

Between the two-day hangovers and dealing with my credit card debt, I’ve begun to realize it’s okay to turn off. I had a panic attack at work a few weeks ago, which caused me to promptly break down and fall into a weekend of despair. Fortunately, I get to spend the majority of my weekends around fluffy dogs so that helps.

I needed to hit the reset button. I needed to sleep in, stay in my pajamas, savor a good cup of coffee, binge some Netflix, put on a face mask, and just chill the eff out for a few days.

I think we’re programmed to GO, GO, GO! so it makes us feel useless when we say, “No, I need to relax and do nothing. Us millennials have it tough too because everyone keeps telling us how lazy and self-centered and whiny we are. Last time I checked, I wasn’t complaining about working 60+ hours a week, not sleeping, and eating leftovers that may or may not have been a week old. That’s all fine.

I’ll say it: I work my ass off. I want to be successful and have been working like that Rihanna song since I was in high school. Not everyone in my generation can say that, but the majority of my friends have the work ethic of a Stark trying to get home to Winterfell. But that doesn’t mean we don’t get stressed and anxious and tired.

As someone living with anxiety, normal things are way more difficult for me to accomplish. For me to even get out of bed in the morning is an achievement. Bonus if I get up early and do something before I go to work. It’s easy from the outside looking in to say that I have my shit together. I do, for the most part! I have an apartment, a job, a wonderful dog, and friends. I do things! But you know what?

I don’t want to do things all the time. I need to reset sometimes, and so do you. You’re allowed to do that. You need to do that. It’s much better and healthier to take care of yourself by recharging your batteries on a regular basis than to wait until you crack like I did.

Moving forward this year, I’m making reset weekends a priority. You should do the same. Consider this your permission to chill.