About journals and journeys​.

When I was a child, I used to try to keep a journal. I would see all these movies and TV shows (read: Lol and The vampire diaries) where the actors used to fill in their journal everyday and I think to myself ‘I want that’. I want to be able to express myself this freely.

You see, being a introvert meant keeping most of my thoughts to myself and listening to other people more than talking to them. And honestly, after a while, I started hating it. I hated the fact that people thought I didn’t have an opinion, that they didn’t care about my feelings, that they hurt me as if I didn’t matter. And I hated myself for not speaking up. I needed an outlet. And so I started writing. But no, I didn’t make a fancy journal like I wanted to. I wrote my feelings on pieces of papers and hid them. I didn’t want my family to see them. They wouldn’t understand. I didn’t want myself to reread them. It would make me feel pathetic. So I hid them all and never saw them again.

Until recently, when I was cleaning my cupboard. I reread them all. I didn’t feel​ pathetic like I thought I would. I felt proud. I felt happy. I felt strong. I felt lots of things. But not pathetic. I laughed when I read what I had written. Why? Because I grew up to be way differently then I wrote I would​, I have better friends, I don’t hate those people anymore and most importantly, I am happy. I am happy with my introverted self and my friends understand me, I have learnt to stand up for myself and for what​ I believe in and I don’t care about what other people say anymore.

Time and circumstances change you. If you hate yourself, your job, your teachers, your situations or anything else; it’s okay. It gonna pass eventually. You can’t and you won’t hate it forever. Your circumstances make you stronger and time heals you. But it’s like a journey. A journey that is full of potholes and blocked roads. But honestly, it’s a journey you have to be willing to take. You cannot just expect time to heal you. You have to facilitate it to heal you by taking the first step. YOU have to start this journey. YOU have to decide the route. YOU have to select your companions. YOU have to carry your luggage.

YOUR journey is all about YOU.

So, make sure you give it your all. You deserve it and you are worth it.

9 thoughts on “About journals and journeys​.”

I myself am an introvert and this was very motivating to me. I really felt connected to what you wrote. I used to keep a diary as well, and re reading it after few years is one the best feelings. Its like going back into time. Great post!

Thank you Riya! I was a bit apprehensive about posting this because it’s a bit personal and I wasn’t sure about the response I would receive, hence, my sudden inactivity here. After giving it a thought, I was like ‘eh, whatever’. Thank you for your supportive comment xx

Hey
Thank you for taking the time to step on over to Love Relaished Ink. It’s wonderful to have your whimsical soul as a new companion on my long and winding road.
From what I have seen of your blog so far, I’ve no doubt you are already finding writing a totally engaging and personally fulfilling experience. I hope the pleasurable company of words will always flow and follow you as you flow following the flow of your flowing path flowing into the wide blue yonder, and flow onwards towards the adventures that follow the flow beyond that…
Best wishes. Take care always in all ways for always.
Namaste

I’m an introvert too and feel like I can’t open up to most people so I write all my thoughts and feelings down too. I feel like nobody would understand me and I don’t want people to go behind my back and talk about me. I keep everything bottled up until I write it down or I’m alone

While reading this, I cant help but to relate my Moon in your experience.. She too is an introvert.. She rarely speak her thoughts and opinion but she has the sexiest brain I ever known.. I always thought that her opinions are worth sharing but she keep them all in a box.. When I ask why? She answered “not all of them can handle an introvert opinions..” I laughed..because it’s true. 🙂 not everyone can deal with the introverted minds like you..and I’m glad I have known Moon and get some tasteful trivia from time to time. -Sun (generally an Ambivert but most of the time Extrovert )