Wednesday, January 11, 2012

When you have to let go

Sometimes, you have to let go of your baby. Every now and then, you have to release the protective grip and put your heart and soul into someone else's hands. You have to trust.

My sweet girl is having eye surgery tomorrow. A supposedly "minor" procedure that should take only about 30 minutes. I have several friends who have had much younger children in surgery, and more major surgeries at that. I know it will be okay. I understand that I am blessed with a healthy child. We simply need to fix an eye issue that could lead to vision troubles and teasing as she gets older. We are not battling cancer, heart problems, or any serious internal problems.

But I am still scared. Worried about my baby going under anesthesia. Concerned with her feelings, her level of understanding. Heartbroken that she may wake up in a room she does not recognize, calling for me. Nervous about her level of pain and how soon she will be able to play again.

I cannot wait for tomorrow to be over. I want to be on the recovery side. This date has been looming on the calendar for a month, and my heart has been palpitating more and more.