Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Dempends- The Hunt for Denim and Little White Shirt Perfection

read comments to find out hot to get her hairstyle!The tale is of horror and frustration. Hours (narrowed down by years of searching) in a dressing room with a 2 year old and surrounded by copius mounds of jeans, and shirts.

It was a fine day of bargain hunting at the fine establishment other wise known as Ross. The premium selection of cheap, imported goods filled the cramped aisles, searching 3 long rows for that perfect pair, wandering into other sized sections b/c you just *know* they have all been miscategorized...

These things I was certain... I found a pair of SEVENS for only $29. I found a size 0 I could fit into. I found a pair of jeans that was absolutly PERFECT... just a tad too small (so when I found the one size larger 1 hour later... it was amazingly waaaay too big and cut way different!)

I had to make a decision, I had narrowed my choices down to 4 pairs. The ones that fit best were, PETITES size 4. I have never ventured into the Petites before, it has always been junior and maternity sizes for me, so taking that leap was rather (clears throat) difficult, since MOST items in Petites are a little too "oldie" for me. But they fit the best... only they have these pocket things that bell out a bit (what is up with that style?) but they were livable. Then, the Sevens... oh heaven, like manna of the denim world, but too dang long. What tha? Is everyone super model height now a days? Apparently, Victoria Beckham did not get the memo that too long pants are not exactly "in" right now.

I know I *could* alter them, but I will never get around to it, so I cuffed the legs, and it still works! Yay!! A bit hobbo sexy all at once. I suppose that is what boho is? Well, I put on those PETITES jeans (b/c my cords were just not working for me), ripped off the tags (and the tags of the shirt Isaac was wearing since his other one was covered in hair and dust from rolling around on the dressing room floor for 2 hours) walked to the registers and paid for my clothes. (Please tell me that I am not the only one that does this).

sheer white vneck by revolve clothingAlso, white tshirts. What is that all about? How come every shirt I try on is sheer? Not everyone likes to show their goods or layer tshirts!! Heaven forbid I already layer due to low cut v-necks, (which layering is not a friend of a nursing mother)...

So, I give up on the shirt search (it has been months now). I venture over to Joannes to get some fabric for a custom order, and lo and behold I FOUND IT! The PERFECT white t-shirt... for $4.99 (better deal than the Gap Favorite T or DownEast Outfitters t's)!!!!!!!!

It is in the tshirt section, complete with iron on transfers, rhinestones and puffy paint. It is the Jerzee FITTED brand. The cap sleeves are a good length (not to tank toppy like others), the scoop neck is just a bit scoopy, but NOT low cut, and the shirt is long enough to cover the back of your jeans should you EVER wish to bend down without exposing yourself. The material is also, not sheer. Well, it is not perfectly not sheer, but it is pretty close. I can wear it without feeling overwhelmingly paranoid that everyone can see my underthings. If you are feeling spendy, there is always the celeb favorite LnA tee for $60 as worn by Jessica Alba pictured above! (why?)

I got home, put on my jeans and my plain white shirt, messy ponytail (which took me at LEAST an hour to perfect mind you), and my hubby looked at me like I was all dressed up and ready to go out. That felt good :)

Random and most hilarious explaination of the DEMPENDS... every now and then, we watch Cheaters (I actually know someone who was on there, as a cheater)... on the episode a woman with a particularly large trunk was walking around wearing "daisies" so short they looked like denim underwear (thongs, actually). The investigator guy said rather seriously, "It appears she is wearing pants." Surely, this could not happen more than once? Well, a couple months ago, we see a lady wearing the same things! (not a cute, young, toned, hip one either...) We joked around that they looked like she was wearing adult diapers and forgot to put on her pants (warning link is yucky).

diaper cover (for little girls though) by Luca BleuI then made the suggestion, that they SHOULD make denim Depends diapers, for wearing ease, a new fashion statement for the old and crusty. Bedazzle them even! I branded them as Dempends (as in Denim/Depends... get it, get, it, hardee har har har?!?!?)

But, for those of you who got through this tale of greatness, I offer a gift. I already know how to shop for jeans that fit, what works for my body type and yada yada, but for those of you still in MOM JEANS (watch this for a dose of hilarity) and tapered (shudders), acid wash jeans, I offer you a little jewel. Oprah's guide to finding the perfect jeans (and bra) fit for your body shape, I have two links you ABSOLUTELY need to click on HERE and HERE. No need to thank me, just be kind to your behind and know that I love you and am not judging you in any way!!

On totally different note, if you are in the Fort Worth area, we organized a little neighborhood craft and gift show this Saturday from 9 to 2. It is in the Parkwood Hill Estates clubhouse map HERE. There will be an assortment of goods and of course, my jewelry will be there as well. So come on by, support handmade and do some holiday shopping! If you prefer to shop online, I (and many other Etsians) are having a Black Friday through Cyber Monday sale in my Jeweled Ambrosia shop, so take a peek :)!

13 comments:

Can't wait to click all of your links! Just had to comment- you are hilarious! Just what I needed this morning when both the kid and the dog woke me up on a nice rainy holiday morning... but I am not bitter. ;-)

the ball of jeans are awesome. i am not a white tee girl. although so tired of those tops...i wore them for a year lol seriously. in every color because i used to watch twin premies all day and i would get spit up over all day---- so i wore those plain tees. i will never look at a vneck tee the same again lol

Thanks for your comment. I LOVE your blog. I am in Aurora's ward (I guess that use to be your ward a million years ago) but I just found that out and I've been stalking your blog for a while. Small world!

As far as the t....I recommend the DownEast Basic in white- I just blogged about these half sleeve ts in my favorite things post, but they are great- and yea, they have a website if you need, and it comes in white.

I can totally relate! How did you manage to shop that long with a 2 yr old??? My toddler is patient, but not patient enough to go jeans shopping (or bra shopping for that matter, but that's fodder for another posting, eh?!).

While I was trying on jeans, I as saying things like "what does a choo choo say?" "how does a dinosaur walk?" try to give him activities...

As for her hair, since I am a stylist, I can give some ideas.

I would first put a little bit of mouse into damp hair. Then allow to air dry some. While about 30% damp, section hair and blow dry with a large round brush. Start at the bottom and clip the rest up. Then with each section, pull a new section down until you are done.

For the top, get you some mondo velcro rollers... about 4 or 5. Curl the top part with a curling iron and roll it into your velcro rollers.

Leave those there while you work on the bottom of your hair. For the bottom half of your head, curl sections with a medium to large barrel curling iron. Hold the iron vertically, not horizontally. After you realease the hair from the iron, do NOT touch it with your fingers. It needs to cool first before you do that or the curl will not set.

After all is done, release the top section your your hair from the velcro rollers and tease the underpart just a bit. Spray those rats with hairspray!!

Then, smooth the top and part in your side swept band. Lightly tossle the curls along the lengths of your hair. Use a soft finishing was, like American Crew's Fiber or even a light gloss, like Sebastian's Gloss Drops to define sections and control flyways. Now, use a light hairspray to hold and GO!

It seems rather long and time consuming, but it really isn't once you get it down.