Pages

FREE KINDLE FOR PC

So you can read my books

Saturday, May 10, 2014

MOTHER ISSUES

Most of my visiting friends are women ... And I don't think there is a mother-daughter relationship that isn't complicated and difficult in certain respects. Whenever there is someone who acts in an abusive way, the only way of
dealing with that person is to have a clear plan so that you can remain
protected.When a child is being abused, the law of Honoring Your Mother and Father is suspended. Or perhaps think of it as honoring the parent by realizing that the person is dangerous to themselves and others and acting accordingly.

We don’t get to choose our mothers.

We only have to find the wisdom to emerge from the experience of mothering with some small degree of inner peace and strength. Mothers are the first and most constant expression of what a woman is. If your mother is emotionally damaged, you will have a hard time finding your own path in living as a whole woman.

Your mother's relationships with men --
husband, boyfriend, brother, father and friends--are the first and most
compelling examples of how you believe a woman interacts, or
should interact with a man.If your mother was/is emotionally damaged, you will have to exercise great care that you choose wisely in your own relationships. Perhaps the greatest common ground is the discovery that each of you is not alone,
that you are not the only girls or women on the planet to have had
mothers who can’t or won’t love them.

It was their fault not yours.

In infancy and childhood, a daughter catches the first glimpse of herself in the mirror that is her mother’s face.
The daughter of an unloving mother —one who is emotionally distant,
withholding, or inconsistent, or even hypercritical or cruel—learns
different lessons about the world and herself. The experience teaches a child that the world of relationships is unreliable.It is called avoidant
attachmentand sets up a terrible conflict between the child’s needs both for her mother’s love and for protection against her mother’s emotional or physical abuse. The key thing here is that the daughter’s need for her mother’s love is
primal and a driving force, and that need isn’t diminished by its
unavailability. Early childhood attachments are highly predictive of adult romantic relationships,
as well as friendships. It won’t surprise you that the most common
wounds are those to the self and the area of emotional connection.

Consciousness is the first step in an unloved daughter’s healing.

1. Lack of confidence

The voice in the daughter's head is that of her mother’s, telling her what she
isn’t (smart, beautiful, kind, loving, worthy).

Her accomplishments and
talents will continue to be undermined by that internalized maternal
voice, unless there is some kind of intervention.

2. Lack of trust

The ambivalently attached daughter needs constant validation that trust is warranted. This triggers a pulling away of the Other in her life, teaching the daughter that all relationships are not to be trusted.

3. Difficulty setting boundaries

Many daughters, caught between their need for their mother’s attention
and its absence, report that they become “pleasers” in adult
relationships

or are unable to set other boundaries which make for
healthy and emotionally sustaining relationships.

4. Difficulty seeing the self accurately

As a child it was only natural to internalize all you were told growing up, and these distortions in how
we see ourselves may extend into every domain, including our looks.

These are wise words, my friend. Brought back memories of the complicated times with my mother....very complicated. But she had her "thorns in the side" as she was also always loyal to her family...even as she nagged her husband, and berated me. She has passed on...lived 97 years. Tough old lady...she left me that legacy. I do know that "over there" her weaknesses are becoming strengths. It is a thorny path we tread on earth, a path that begins with our mothers. We wouldn't be here without them. Very thought-provoking post, my friend. I occasionally drop by to see a dear blogger friend, and am glad I stopped by here, spurred on by your wishing me a happy birthday. Thank you!

Dear Friend. I noticed when I posted this that you respond on your blog to comments. So I came over to see what I knew would be a lovely and wise response. Yes, we are indeed ALL human. Sometimes it may take one a lifetime, but forgiveness is the only way to inner peace.

Sadly for me, I don't have either a kindle fire or a smart phone. But it is so kind and lovely of you to offer this gift.

Actually, at my age a smart phone is too smart for me :)As is most of the new and even some of the old social media. I can't even remember how to set up a WordPress blog. It is definitely time for me to retire. I was just reminiscing with Jen that if I hadn't submitted my memoir when I did to my publisher, it would never have been published, mostly because I wouldn't have the energy to do it now.

Anyway, thanks again so much for the birthday wish...for tomorrow. I've heard from a few other long-distance friends today also, and hope my youngest daughter and son call me tomorrow as they did yesterday for Mother's Day. I know if YOU were my son, you would have called me. What a wonderful Mother you had, as you expressed it so eloquently. I can't think of a greater "talent" to have than to be someone's "safe haven."

He's Back!

VOODOO & LOVE IN THE FRENCH QUARTER

LOVE & UNDEATH IN THE FRENCH QUARTER

FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE AUDIO BOOK!

The supernatural predators come out after Katrina. Can two undead legends stop them?

AFTER KATRINA, THERE IS NONE BUT TWO TO STOP THE UNDEAD

ONLY $1.99 WHEN YOU BUY THE KINDLE BOOK!

LISTEN to GHOST OF A CHANCE

Can an author be drawn into his own fictional world and killed by his own characters?

HIBBS HAS FOUND HIS VOICE!

A tale of enchantment

Souls At The Crossroads

Where do you need to be?

THE DEADLIEST ENEMY IS WITHIN

What if Stephen King wrote of the life of a blood courier?

Listen to this haunting tale of horror and love

It is 1853. An undead Texas Ranger is on board a cursed ship in search of a murderer who is wearing the face of her last victim as a mask.

Listen to the LAST FAE

When the world is mad, there is little else to do but show them what true insanity is!

Can a man marry both the moon and the sun?

In the eclipse of myth, he can

What Defense is an innocent soul against the Powers of Darkness?

Let Hibbs, the cub with no clue, show you

Before Indiana Jones or Allan Quartermain

There was Sam McCord and his doomed love for Meilori Shinseen

Alice and Victor in 1834 New Orleans

Do a review and have a 1 in 13 chance to win a Johnny Depp autograph!

Buy_FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE

Hurricane Katrina has cast New Orleans into darkness. Predators, living and undead, close in on the helpless survivors. Can Samuel McCord and a vampire priest keep the French Quarter from being drowned in blood?

Buy_LET THE WIND BLOW THROUGH YOU

Enter the dangerous world of a Native American Noir thriller where forbidden love clashes with the politics of crime

In Memoriam - Maukie my cyber friend

Maukie - the virtual cat 2 3

RITES OF PASSAGE link

The earliest Samuel McCord adventure: Dare to board a fantasy Titanic as it sails into the Bermuda Triangle

VICTOR'S HERE!

BOOK 1: No one talks openly of the misty figures seen walking along New Orleans' iron-laced terraces, casting no shadow. Of the shapes seen rising from sewer grates. And no one willingly visits the crypt of Marie Laveau at midnight. Into this strange world arrives the street orphan, Victor Standish, from Charon's Greyhound. Charon has to keep up with the times ... the End Times. And the teen destined to be called the "Ulysses of the French Quarter" has come just in time for Hurricane Katrina, the End of All Things ... and the deadly love of the Victorian ghoul, Alice Wentworth.

VICTOR AND ALICE ARE BACK!

BOOK 2: Victor's a street kid. Alice is a Victorian ghoul Their love breaks the chain of reason. Their new adventures bring the French Quarter back from the brink of nightmare.

THE RIVAL

BOOK 3: Victor & Alice are in the French Quarter of 1834. Voodoo. Demigods. Revenants. And the hilarious Menage a Trois of Death! Oh, and someone we love dies at the end.

END OF DAYS is here!

St. Marrok's. The most eerie high school in which you will ever die. Its curriculum? The End of Days. Alice Wentworth plans to get an A+.

ADRIFT IN THE TIME STREAM link

SEQUEL to RITES OF PASSAGE: Come aboard the doomed DEMETER with undead Texas Ranger, Sam McCord, and sail with her into the depths of madness in ADRIFT IN THE TIME STREAM.

Buy_CREOLE KNIGHTS

SEQUEL to FRENCH QUARTER NOCTURNE: The dead rise. Elder Beings strain to enter our world through Katrina devastated New Orleans. And the Angel of Death is kidnapped to clear their way. Can Sam McCord stem the tide of madness in time?

Buy_THE LAST FAE

Once there was an age undreamed where legends walked this earth … and nightmares, too. Terrible were the battles, tragic the outcome of the wars. Until finally there were only two survivors : the nightmare and one bruised legend. These are the legend’s stories, each one a different facet of the same priceless gem – a jewel that has come to believe herself worthless. So come. Listen to her. Listen to THE LAST FAE.

GHOST OF A CHANCE

What if what you wrote became real?

BURNT OFFERINGS

When dreams are sacrificed, it is the soul that burns.

CHECK OUT THE FUN!

Explore if you dare

Buy_THE LAST SHAMAN

Journey with the last Lakota shaman, Wolf Howl. The white govenments call him Drew August. Those who hunt him call him Death. The last day of Man has dawned. Watch as Wolf Howl turns to meet his human hunters. Shadow, the love of his life, returns to aid his hunters. Then, Mankind's death descends. Can he save Shadow before the world's time runs out?

BRING ME THE HEAD OF McCORD!

Only 99 cents. C'mon. Take a chance.

GHOST WRITERS IN THE SKY

LEARN TO WRITE BETTER AND LAUGH ALONG THE WAY

LAST EXIT TO BABYLON

At the dawn of the End of All Things, the Last Fae finds there is no hope ... but love.

IT'S HERE TO BUY!!

The trilogy concludes. Not even the eclipse of myth is forever. But love is. And eclipses return. Listen. The voice of Blake, son of Man, is calling across the night skies.

Buy THE PATH BACK TO DAWN

Only in the eclipse of myth can a young man find himself with both the Moon and the Sun as his brides. Can he survive what follows?

Buy_LOVE LIKE DEATH

From the pages of THE LAST FAE springs this paranormal romance/thriller. Fallen, the last fae, discovers the name of the young teenager to whom she lost her heart : Blake Adamson.But she also discovers what happens when you believe your fears over your love : heartache and loss. And so Blake Adamson finds himself torn between two loves : one fae, the other an alien drinker of souls. Their love is deadly, but love, like death, will have its way.

THE BEAR WITH 2 SHAD0WS link

Based on the stories my Lakota mother told me as a child when I was deathly ill in a freezing Detroit basement apartment. Think a Native American LORD OF THE RINGS.

OCTORBER 3RD

Read the shadowy origin of ROSE RED

FROM THE GREAT BEYOND HOP!

You dare not miss it!!

ZOMBIE PREPAREDNESS!

LISTEN TO THE CDC

Thanks, Alex!

THE WORLDS OF ROLAND YEOMANS

Donna Hole astonishes with her insights on my linked worlds

FANTASTIC REVIEW OF THE LEGEND OF VICTOR STANDISH

Michael Di Gesu does a masterful review. I am honored by his friendship

StatCounter

LIFE LESSONS taught me by GYPSY

Dedicated to GYPSY

PAPYRUS PRODUCTIONS

Have Wendy make your book into a trailer that wows the reader!

HELP THE HURTING

100% of the profits for ALL my books this FEBRUARY are going to THE SALVATION ARMY. My Valentine's gift to the hurting.

Buy_BLOOD WILL TELL

One lone telepath finds himself a helpless spectator as the race of Man is subjugated into mindless drones by the very blood within their bodies.When the war is over, and he finds himself totally alone ... How can he go on and why?

CALL ME TOMBS

The last Lakota Heyoka faces voodoo and ultimate evil in the Carpathian Mountains of Transylvania with his Hellhound, Puppy

CATCH FIRE!

BLOG TOUR FOR ALEX J, CAVANAUGH'S NEWEST NOVEL

SIV'S BLOGFEST!

The Norse Gods Are Watching You!

BRAINE at TALK SUPE

center>

NERDY IS THE NEW SEXY!

BECOME A JEDI KNIGHT FOR TEENS

THE SECRET OF SPRUCE KNOLL

Help save the endangered species of Earth by buying THE SECRET OF SPRUCE KNOLL!

AMAZON KEEPS SELLING OUT!

Written by the author who could very well turn out to be the new William Faulkner, Elliot Grace