Have you been in an extremely mentally, emotionally, or physically abusive relationship?

Maybe you've had multiple. How has it effected you the most in general, long term, and in new relationships?

Yes, emotionally & mentally.

Vote A

Yes, mentally and physically.

Vote B

Yes, I'm still in it.

Vote C

No, but I've watched someone go through it.

Vote D

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

Updates:

FOR EXAMPLE: I've been in several emotionally & mentally abusive relationships. They wait until I've completely fallen for them before they turn psycho. I've been called every name in the book, been accused endlessly for things I did NOT do, I've been lied to & manipulated excessively. My last ex trapped me in a room, pinned me in a car, chased me down stairs, broke ALL of my things, smashed not 1 but 2 of my phones, had all of my social media accounts linked to his phone without me knowing, etc

As well as stalked me & came up to the college I was taking classes at & made huge scenes infront of everyone. It took a long time for him to leave me alone. As a result, I'm terrified of any type of intimacy that leads to me giving my trust. Even when if I do I always stay aware & alert. I'm very cautious and always on the edge of my seat with people as if they are going to turn on me any second. I feel like I'm always being lied to or manipulated by people. I'm working on this everyday.

Most Helpful Guy

Anonymous

I've been in a relationship with a guy who was absolutely void of empathy. He lied ALL. THE. TIME. to the point I couldn't trust him with anything important, that was very frustrating. He would badmouth and become jealous of any friend I dared bring around and made a good number of mine cut contact with me. He didn't take to the word "No" if what I had was anything he really wanted. Ultimately the relationship was a toxic mess, but I was afraid to leave him because of threats of violence. The first I ever had was better, but terribly selfish. He swore me out a few times, would guilt me to get his way and raped me once when I was bedridden for a week with a bad virus. He "needed sex", even while I was barely able to keep my eyes open as I fought vomiting in my high fever induced delirium. Understandably, that was the end. It's one of the most painful memories I hold to this day. I know a thing or two about abusive relationships.

Most Helpful Girl

I was with a guy like this - extremely emotionally unstable and manipulative. He spoke to me like a literal child and refused to speak to me in any other way. He constantly pressured me into changing my appearance, such as shaving all of my hair off (which I never did. because F that!) and he cheated on me all the time too, denying it every time even after his mistress contacted me. There were even a few occasions when I hinted that I wanted out and he threatened to kill himself either by jumping from his 10th floor balcony or grabbing a blade.

I put up with that crap for two years. The guy I dated directly after him couldn't handle the affect it had on me, stating that I was clearly still "in love with him" because I bragged about how good the sex was (erm? I complained that he pressured me into sex)

And to top it off, that same guy I dated directly afterwards... was in some ways sexually abusive. He would constantly try to push me into having sneaky sex with him in public places including public bathrooms or down at the park or take me back to his apartment just for sex. He would even without warning attempt slip his hands into my bra or my underwear in public and get angry with me when I objected to his behaviour. The rest of the time, he would piss off and hang out with other girls and would enjoy his time with them more than he would if he actually hung out with me.

How has this left me? Pretty fragile. My most recent boyfriend was really good about my fragile ego up until his father pressured him into leaving me. -.-

Thank you, I am. I'm sorry you've gone through what you have as well.. There's a lot of hidden psychos out there. I wish people came with background checks so we could see their past relationship info as well as mental stability. Lol.

What Guys Said 14

nope I'm too strong to even deal with something so my Newton stupid like somebody mentally physically or emotionally abusing me and if you're going through that then you should move on with your life and get the f*** out

@thedarknight88 Clearly you've never been in a relationship period. Do you think anyone actively seeks to be in an abusive relationship? It's something that happens slowly but surely. Over time the person learns how they can manipulate you into thinking that you're always the one in the wrong. In doing so, you start constantly questioning yourself until your self esteem reaches an all time low. Once they know they have you torn down enough while still having their trust, it escalates from there.

It's not like they try beating you on the first date and you choose to stay. You don't realize what's happening until you wake up one day and realize it's too late. And by that point, they fear the person so much that they are scared of what they will do if you leave. Don't judge others on something you haven't experienced yourself. I'm glad you haven't been hurt like this before. But don't assume that someone is "stupid" and just "chooses" to be in that type of relationship. That's far from the reality of these situations.

clearly i have been in one but like I've stated before I view a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship as marriage and I clearly dont wanna be married right now but I know for a fact I would never let some one miss treat me I love myself way to much for that maybe that's the issue people don't love them self and love there boyfriend or girlfriend more them selfs

I actually happened to be the instigator of such a relationship with one of my first girlfriends. I didn't have the patience or understanding that I have now. She was a good girl though and we're on good terms at this point in life.

I've dated about a dozen people, of those 2 I actually came to love. they both cheated on me and made me feel like crap. the first just stopped showing interest, the second consistly putting me down. I haven't pursued dating anyone since and that was almost 2 years ago. I don't think looking exactly worked that's what the girls I love that cheated on me were doing... looking so I decided things will happen when there suppose to if there suppose to and hopefully the girl I find will have a similar look out on reality as I do

Yes my ex girlfriend would come back and tell me things that her step-dad would say about me and sometimes stuff her mother would say about me and it does hurt. So yes it was form of emotional abuse from her.

I kinda feel better that some people here share the same experince as me. I didn't realize how much my relationship was toxic until i read this. I grew up in a messed up emotional environment my family were abusive emotionally and mentally and in rare cases physically. I guess thats why my only and first girlfriend was abusive too. Emotionally and mentally, she put her needs before mine i was in college and had finalls she would ask me to call her and talk until she falls asleep. She didn't care about my future. She told me to stop being around certin women wanted me to text her 24/7 i was exhausted but stayed cause i didn't want to be alone with this family. I was open about my vulnerabilities told her about how girls i dated were bad with me told her even about my family. She used all that against me she cared about her furture only. She cheated on me she was with ber ex the whole time plus she was trying to date another guy. After i told her im not staying anymore she came to my social media and insulted the way i look and my manhood. Few years later we came in contact the only thing she said to me that i got ugly. I left few years later she came in conatct with me asking me where i am what im doing with my life i gave her fake answers and left the conv. She is the reason why i couldnt find a girlfriend all the women i met after her were emotionally abusive too they would use my feelings then break my heart wothout any feelings at all.

I had a girlfriend who called me things, threatened me, called my family and friends things both to me and to some of them, she kept me from talking to my family, accused me of everything one can think of, didn't let me have friends, forced me to unfriend every girl and even some guys on Facebook, she beat me, threw things at me, made a scene out of everything even when we were outside among people we knew or people we didn't know, she kept track of me and had I been outside without her I had to explain where I've been down to every minute and if one thing didn't add up then she thought I'd slept with someone.

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Opinion Owner

And she manipulated the hell out of me to the point where I couldn't think for myself and destroyed my personality and even succeeded in making me think that my family were bad people.

Wow, same here again! lol. Except very recently, clearly I've been having a few things resurface more than usual. And it's beginning to effect my current relationship as well as in general. Posting this question has helped some though.

Makes you feel important in the sense you feel you have power. You like the thrill of playing with someone's emotions. You like to incite a reaction. I mean, to each their own. I wish you well in fixing your issues with power :)

Anyways. My opinion was not for the two of you. But, you both decided to comment on it. I mean, that's your right. But, you don't have to be rude because you're behind a computer screen. I hope you two the best in whatever you do...

Yes for 25 years, I know the pattern well, I'm thankful I didn't jump back into dating before I figured out what was wrong with me that attracted that type and then allow the continued behavior. But trust me it left some ptsd.

My most recent relationship was mentally abusive, no wonder we broke up about a month ago. I have panic and anxiety disorders, and my ex couldn't handle that. He told me that I'm a crazy bitch who just wants to act as a victim. I just had a lot of problems because of him and his ex (they had a dog together which they would give to each other every now and then).

Once he threw me on the floor and before that, strangled me a bit. He said later on that he regrets nothing. The truth is that I never was dangerous to anyone, the only thing I did was that I just started panicking and it was hard for me to breathe. If he would have been more supportive, I wouldn't probably had that much anxiety attacks. Anyway, when we broke up ofc I was a bit upset, we had moved in a month before. Now that I can see the whole thing clearly, my ex was a narcissist. I know I had my problems and vices, but in the end I think he had way bigger problems than I did.

Well with my last abusive partner, he is a fathet of my two month okd daughter. He manipulated me into exclusive abd serious relationship with him by lying that what he wanted with me and living with hix ex if 16 yeara at the same time. It went on from day we met for 8 months!!! When i finally confronted him about picrures on fb he still denied and then admitted and fell into pieces. Toldme hiw much ahe damaged him, how he hated all his family. Really that was so agly and i was so confussed hearing that. I had to cry for my sekf at that time really. Still he insisted we start again and he left her. He also insisted on me doing counselling (after i told him a trip to spa wouldn't fix the damage and conflict that he caused). I felt i didn't want to live and was just a wreck. Many time he tried to beak up with me but then run back the next minute. We tried to be on break which he would instigate but then the next day he would crawl back crying and saying he didn't know what he was thinking.