What to Do If Your Nose Starts Bleeding...DURING SEX

There are moments in every relationship when you reach the point of no return, when shy is so far off your radar that even the Hubble telescope couldn't find it. For some people, it's the first time you have sex. For others it's the first time you fart in front of one another. But for me, it was when I broke out into a spontaneous nosebleed mid-thrust.

It went something like this:

It's hot, and I'm sweating like I've just done an hour of Bikram Yoga. Suddenly, my nose starts leaking, like God turned on a bloody faucet, sabotaging any moment of sexiness. What's a girl to do when she realizes that sniffle wasn't a runny nose but her very kindergarten-style nosebleed?

ME: "Oh, sh*t! I'm bleeding!"

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HIM: "What? How?" [Looks down at my vagina as if he'd broken it]

ME: "No, not there! It's my nose. Where do you think it was coming from?"

HIM: "How'd that happen? It wouldn't be the first time…" [Continues thrusting]

To make the situation worse, by the time we were done, there was a full-fledge crime scene splatter pattern on his sheets, and the only thing I could manage to say was, "You can Instagram it if you want…" (For the record, he didn't.)

As embarrassing as it was, my coital nosebleed proved that pretty much nothing will stop a man in the middle of sex. And how well my guy handled it proved once again that he's a keeper!

Has something super-embarrassing ever happened to you during sex? Holler at us in the comments.