You, guys. We just got what will likely be the most important piece of information this Election Day season. Check out The Onion’s announcement below: As the nation casts its votes tomorrow on a historic Election Day, billions of Americans will turn to The Onion, their only journalistic refuge in a world teeming with chaos and lies, for the most comprehensive and brutally hard-hitting coverage of the day’s biggest developments.

Comedian Jenny Jaffe’s childhood was anything but comical. During her high school years, she was diagnosed with a multitude of mental illnesses, which included her having extreme anxiety, OCD and suicidal thoughts. “It wasn’t something I talked to really anybody in my life about,” Jaffe, 24, tells Laughspin. “There was this long uphill battle. But, then the hill got less steep.” After years of therapy and pursuing her love of comedy through

Far too often, the mainstream entertainment press spends more time on coming up with horrible punny headlines for their movie reviews and not enough time critiquing the actual film. The Onion, however, does it right. In their new video review of the second installment of the Hunger Games franchise, Catching Fire, critic Peter K. Rosenthal examines what really matters— and it’s not whether Jennifer Lawrence is great or if Liam

When stand-up comedy is great, it could transcend space and time; you don’t want it to end and you’re thinking and laughing in ways you never have before. But when it’s bad and that social contract that keeps us in our seats prevents from just walking, you can start to feel like a hostage. The Onion nails it in this news report. Check it out. Hostages Freed After Tense 7-Minute

Earlier today The Onion’s CEO Steve Hannah issued an apology for an Oscars-night tweet from the satirical newspaper’s official Twitter feed, wherein 9-year-old actress Quvenzhané Wallis (nominated in the lead actress category for her work in Beasts of the Southern Wild) was called a “cunt.” “It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting,” the statement read, in part. Hours later

UPDATE: 2:10 pm EST — The Onion has apologized. The full statement is below: On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting. No person should be subjected

Over the weekend, we introduced you to Thing X. In short, it’s something of nebulous nature on which former staffers from The Onion are working. You should go here and learn all about it– unless you want to do things backwards. If that’s the case, you should first peep this below video, which was just released today. It’s about bears. Specifically, it’s about how they’re fucking too much and how

You know how sometimes you watch something so bizarre and absurd that your only reaction is to laugh uncontrollably? Well, if you’re like me, you’ll do the same after peeping this just-released video promoting Thing X, or more specifically, ThingX.com, which is something created by a handful of former staffers from The Onion. So, what did we learn from this video? I’m not sure. I’m positive, however, that I like

Each week, we’ve been featuring a new episode of Stand Down, the A.V. Club’s new animated series, wherein a comedian tells a story about a terrible time in their career. This week, Tig Notaro tells a chilling story of onstage bombing and near death. It’s not for the faint of heart. Check it out below and pass it on! Check out past episodes, featuring Maria Bamford, Jimmy Pardo, Reggie Watts

In the latest episode of the AV Club’s weekly animated series Stand Down, podcast pioneer, super stand-up comedian and Conan O’Brien’s warm-up comic, Jimmy Pardo regales us with a story about a performance he once gave at a Naval base. As is the case in all of Stand Down episodes — wherein comics remember some of their lowest career moments — things do not play out the way Pardo would’ve

In the third installment of the A.V. Club’s weekly series Stand Down, wherein a well-loved comedian relates a story about a time they totally ate shit, Reggie Watts digs up a terrible memory born in Philadelphia. Check it out below! You can check out previous episodes with Maria Bamford and Patton Oswalt.

In the second installment of the AV Club’s weekly animated series, Stand Down (where comedians tell a story about one of their lowest career points), we find Maria Bamford recounting a terrible experience with a morning zoo-type radio program. You can watch the first episode of Stand Down, featuring Patton Oswalt, here.

In their News In Brief section, The Onion has taken on an incident at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles, wherein Daniel Tosh addressed a heckler by saying — hyperbolically — that it would be funny if she was raped by five men right now. You see, the Tosh.0 comedian was doing rape jokes before the female audience member decided to shout out to Tosh that rape jokes are never

Having already become by far the most important network in the world of journalism, The Onion is now expanding its empire and foraying into (Internet-based) reality television. In The Onion’s newly launched reality series Sex House, we find out what happens when you cram six, sexy nymphos under one roof and leave them alone with nothing to do but have sex: They have sex… a LOT. But exactly how much