dedicated to the fairer sex

This dream is just too funny…

I all too rarely have erotic dreams, sadly… but what’s even more sad is that when I do have one my subconscious usually finds some way to fuck it up before it can get to the good stuff. I wake up with a hard on and irritated with myself. Seriously, subconscious?! As if my waking life wasn’t sad enough in the romance and sex department, I can’t even catch a break in my freaking dreams?!

Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with a female friend I know online. I recall thinking “wow, this is cool that we’ve gotten to meet in real life, and we’re getting along great!” So we’re going along, enjoying each other’s company, when I get a sense that she wants me to kiss her. Now, in the past, my usual response to this sort of thing in real life is “nah, that’s just wishful thinking on my part…” But I’m an older man now, and heck this is a dream, so I go for it… and it turns out that she did want to kiss me!

So we start making out, and things begin to get hot and heavy, clothes are coming off… and suddenly I start feeling sad, and thinking “man, everyone else always gets the girl...” and I get up and quietly leave the room to the lovebirds… I walk out of the cabin a large group of us are staying in, go to the fridge, get a beer and step outside into the night air. I imagine what those two are doing in the bedroom, jealous and sad…

…And suddenly realize– wait a minute, that’s ME in there with her! So why in the hell am I out here? I mean, it’s bad enough that my subconscious (not to mention real life) usually finds a way for someone else to get the girl, but this time I actually GET the girl and I can’t even enjoy it first hand! WTF?!?!

I wake up with a hard on, irritated with myself… but this time I just have to laugh out loud at how absurd my subconscious can be!

12 Responses

This reminds of dream discussions with my brother, b/c we’re always comparing absurd things that happen, some of them are even educational. 🙂 Thanks for sharing, I really did laugh aloud. Please put this vignette in your next novel.