A Second Life Survivors Guide To Love In The 21st Century

Let me tell you something about love...it's a real bitch! Of the many topics I am impassioned with, love and relationships is one of them. My family, friends, acquaintances, etc. come to me on this topic because I've unfortunately had to deal with a lot of bullshit in my short life already. I'm going to be pretty blunt with you all in this blog post so, there you go, & here we go!

Let's start with Second Life since we're all here enjoying this other worldly experience. When I started SL....I had no intentions of EVER getting involved here. I was involved in my RL anyway (albeit with an asshole, but hey, more life experience and knowledge on this topic!). There are SO many people in this Second Life though, you never know who you will run into. So unless you come into this place ballsy enough to displace your heart, or with enough knowledge to do just that, then...never say never is all I have to say.

I did end up falling for someone in SL and I was burned pretty bad in a online tumultuous relationship that lasted nearly 4 years. SL time that is what...50 years?! Hah. What I learned in the end is that, long distance relationships take a lot of hard work, patience, TRUST. Regular relationships do too but this even more so. Second Life seems to add to the dramatics of it all (duh factor) but people always there to be the devil on your shoulder, even the angel on your shoulder is sometimes a devil in disguise. This experience was so bad for me that I ended up dropping that avatar entirely. I don't keep that avatar a secret, her name was Gia too lol. I just didn't like all the attachment that was on her. It's hard to explain. Kind of like baggage that was attached. The memories wouldn't leave. No matter if I switched environments, friends, etc. Starting new, even though the name remained the same...seemed to be what worked for me.
I find myself in SL not seeking love, just seeking company, if that even....more so seeking the company of the next thing that needs to be in my inventory lol. I have my small circle of friends that I am very much in love with and they've changed my Second Life for me entirely. The experience this second time around has been amazing. Not without a few hiccups here and there. Turns out Second Life can sometimes be a third or fourth life...however many tries it takes to get it right! In my Second Life profile it reads, "You learn lessons here and find your purpose, just like RL." That's the truth.

Issues in Second Life to look out for? Actually...you can apply this to RL too lol. Well...firstly be weary of the married person who is seeking TEMPORARY companionship. Unless you are A-okay with that kinda thing, then have at it baby! Do your thang.
A lot of times, people forget that avatars are ran by people! There is a real life person behind the avatar with feelings, with aspirations, expectations. Nobody is to blame in this situation (usually >.>). Sometimes loneliness can drive you to places you never thought yourself capable of and if someone is there to pick up the pieces well...there you go. The problem with that is, sometimes they're only seeking someone to put a band-aid on while still being in love in real life, leaving the person in SL in the end, completely brokenhearted and usually miles/countries away with nothing they can do. That can be a bit of devastating!
Watch out for rebounders! Just out of a relationship and suddenly they're with you...that's going to be issues, believe me! On this note let me spin it a bit...It's Alright to Be Single!
I see people all the time, especially on this holiday talking about single life this and that. Stop it. Enjoy your life. I know at times you're like, 'Well I want a snuggle buddy too!". Well the damn time will come, you will have your moment. For now, quit it. Quit looking for it. Quit waiting for it. The love that falls into your life unexpectedly is the one you will keep longer.
Don't make this holiday only about a significant other either when the real loves of your life are your family.

More Second Life/Online issues..."We were just role playing." No hunny, no. I am in a relationship right now, 7 years strong actually. How did we get there? Roleplay! Lol. We played vampires that eventually got into a relationship and though I told myself we were 'just role playing', I ended up talking to him way more. Trusting him with problems I was having, etc. Although there are people that can keep it professional, I won't exclude the professional ones. I thought I was that good too lol. Sometimes we slip up, what can I say? Mind you, I had only been role playing for like a year when I met him. So yes, there are people that can be strictly in character BUT....if you see your man/woman online with a person they are 'just role playing' with for long amounts of time...check it!

Of course the obvious one is to watch out for stalkers. Although, this is kinda tricky. I have a bit of experience with this but still...there is the occasional one that can surprise. I don't really know what hints I can give you about this. They come off pretty obvious usually. Getting a bit too close, getting a bit too personal a bit too soon. I've known the stalker that would wait around for me even if I was offline. Ones that would send me things and not allow me to return it. Ones that threatened even. That can be scary. Hell, occasionally...one of those assholes still pops in a dream or two because I don't trust his ass to this very day. Like I said, avatars are ran by real life people with real life expectations...be it good or bad. So do be careful on what you share and who you share it with! I know another blogger shared a stalker-ish story not too long ago. It does happen folks. Your shit is not Fort Knox.

There are a plethora of 'obvious' things to be aware of but we'd be here for days! Age! Immaturity (although I've seen that straight last through an adult who is 40+ lol).
Using common sense is key, and yes I know...sometimes common sense is not so common, unfortunately, especially when love can be blinding.

Love in the 21st Century is an entity all in itself. One that is still an enigma. What is it? (Que 'What is Love' song here. Random song quotes, Dizzy gets me with this!) It's always been an enigma, but as our world changes...so do the many approaches to love and how to survive it. Social networking has taken it to different levels. People broadcasting amazing and loving relationships when the truth is...they're sugar coating shit and calling it candy. Let's say they're not...lets say it's all true...then you've hurt another couple because that couple or a person in that relationship is comparing their relationship to yours. Why aren't we that happy? Why doesn't he/she do that for me? And it goes on and on.
This is a new world we live in. When push comes to shove, this is where I think...maybe the walls they tell us to drop aren't so bad. Maybe keeping a few of those walls up for the sake of survival is what we really need to do.

Ah the things that inspire me in Second Life. This little chained heart is a special from Remarkable Oblivion out for Valentines Day. Not sure how long it will be there but it's at the main store. I was not only inspired by the heart but also by a song. One that will be inspiring a few more of my blog pics here in the future so I hope you won't mind seeing my fembot a few more times! I love her so!

These are a few tips for your survival, writing a real guide for this shit...would take me forever!!
Until we meet again loves...I hope you are all having a wonderful Valentines Day <3