Don't worry, fellow nerds-- he's feeling fine, he says, fit as a fiddle, and is quite happy with the treatment he's getting at Royal Marsden Hospital.

The physical ailment came as a shock to Prowse, who's aids informed him of his body's sole vulnerability, the small gland tucked deep within his backside. Sources say that Prowse was warned that, although unlikely, a scattering of rugged but outnumbered cancer cells did pose a threat. Prowse, at a gargantuan 6 foot 6, stated that he had no intention to flee "in his hour of triumph," stating that that his aids were overestimating the chances that cancer cells could exploit so small an opening.

So, as a public service to our goodly readers, Gimme Noise offers some tips on how to examine your own prostate, courtesy of the good people at a Health Central. At the very least, it might prove to be a good bit of showertime fun for our woefully under-insured out there. Happy hunting, gang!

Prostate Self-Exam

It's easy for a man to feel his own prostate gland. It's a
walnut-sized organ at the base of the bladder. It can be felt with the
tip of a finger inserted into the rectum. Its texture and firmness
should be similar to that of the flesh between your thumb and the rest
of the hand when you make a tight fist. If you feel anything that is as
firm as the knuckle, then that needs to be brought to a physician's
attention.

How you reach the prostate, of course, is up to you. Some men may do
the exam in the shower, where soap can be used as a lubricant. This can
be a little tricky, because you need to get the palm surface of your
finger in contact with the prostate, although the fingernail surface
can be used for a cursory examination. You may feel more comfortable if
you wear a thin latex glove.

Self-Exam With Partner

Occasionally, you see hospitals welcoming husbands and
boyfriends into their breast self-examination classes. The idea is that
perhaps the woman is more likely to get her breast examined if her
partner is doing it. The same goes here.

It's not difficult to teach your partner how to examine your
prostate gland. Aesthetics aside, this is something every individual
couple has to decide if they want to do.

Many men can tell when their prostate is being touched because
it's very sensitive. If you're having someone else do it, you'll know
immediately when they reach paydirt. If you're doing it yourself, it
will also be obvious.

Most folks are surprised by how deep they have to reach. You'd
have to have long fingers, indeed, to reach completely to the far end
of the prostate gland, but in medicine we are content to touch as much
of the surface as possible.

As with breast self-examination, you want to cover all
surfaces, and you should be consistent in how you approach it. Use a
sweeping motion of the finger on one side, and then switch to the other
side, to make sure that you cover as much of the surface as possible.