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10-Second Anecdotes That Reveal Too Much About Me: Luann

You think you really know a person…

This is following the article originally posted by Karishma. Find out more funny or interesting stuff about us writers!

1. In an effort to appear fashionable and sophisticated for the first day of my graduate assistantship, I impulsively bought a $200 dress perfect for office attire. It was the most expensive purchase I’ve made to date, especially given my meager graduate assistant stipend. The dress requires dry cleaning and because I can’t afford to take it to the dry cleaners regularly, I haven’t washed it. It’s been a year and a half since I purchased it.

What this says about me: impulsive, irrational, fashion-forward

2. I too often accept invitations to events or outings to which I actually don’t plan to attend. At the last minute, I often come up with either grandiose excuses that are impossible to poke holes through or are so mundane in nature that the host/group will get over it. “Oh you’re sick? Get better soon!” or, “You just fell down the stairs and need to stay overnight at the hospital… outside of town?! Of course we don’t expect you to stop by! Let us know if you need anything.”

What this says about me: saving face, liar, lazy, creative

3. One time when I was about 6 years old, I caught a really bad case of the stomach flu. For about a week straight, I threw up everything I ingested whether it was water, soup, or medicine. Since my sister and I shared a room, she eventually caught the flu, too. One night, I threw up in my bed and after my mom had washed the sheets and cleaned the bed thoroughly, I still couldn’t get over the stench that clung to the sheets. I then made a compelling case to my sister that she take my bed. As the older sister, I had the fortune of having the bed with a princess-like canopy and Mickey Mouse-themed sheets. My sister always loved my bed, so she took over it immediately. Little did she know that I had the last laugh of knowing she slept in smelly vomit-stained sheets.

What this says about me: persuasive, caring, future career in sales

4. When I was in 7th grade, I was on my junior high’s dance team. The big thing all the members of the squad wanted to learn and perfect was what we called the suicide kick. It was basically a high kick where your leg barely touches your face and once the leg comes down, you land in the splits. Because kicking and flexibility were my strengths, I was doing the suicide kicks in no time. One day after school, I was showing my friends the technique of how to get into the suicide kick. Not realizing that I was one step away from the curb, I went into a full-on high kick, lost my balance, and then landed in the splits. My friends were impressed and there were some cheers from people watching us from afar, but I was too busy whimpering to notice — a deep and long cut cascaded along my left knee and blood was bursting at a rapid speed. I didn’t go to the emergency room though because my mom took one look at the cut and said I should just keep cleaning it and put bandaids on it. That cut is now a scar that remains on my leg.

What this says about me: confident, arrogant, talented

5. I have countless stories where I’ve done stupid things for guys that I liked, but this incident stood out the most to me. I won tickets to Taste of Chaos (anyone remember that rock concert tour?) and instead of going to the show, I went with a guy I liked and his friends to a rave in San Francisco. To top it off, he reunited with his ex-girlfriend that weekend. SO stupid.

What this says about me: needs attention, hopeless romantic

6. The first few years of my undergraduate career were a blur, literally. I partied and drank way too often, but mostly because I hung around a crowd that was into all that. This is usually typical behavior for a girl new to this type of environment. But it got so bad and frequent that I was drinking 2-3 times a week and either ending nights in a drunken stupor or throwing up. During a fraternity’s banquet dinner, while giving out awards to lil’ sisses (female supporters of the fraternity), a brother jokingly said, “Yeah and the award for being the ultimate drunkie goes to Luann!” And because I was already drunk, I stood up and started walking towards the podium, which caused an eruption of laughter. Quickly figuring out it wasn’t a real award, my date pulled me back to my seat and I sat back down, humiliated and miserable. And of course, drunk — which was the best part.

What this says about me: alcoholic, life of the party

7. My boyfriend is into extreme sports and one day after several attempts at convincing me, he took me to the beach to learn how to bodyboard. The concept of bodyboarding didn’t strike me as that difficult; you paddle out, lay on your front with the bodyboard, and as soon as a wave arrives, paddle like crazy until you are “riding the wave.” Of course this is not THAT easy, especially to someone like me who lacks balance. After several feeble attempts at riding a wave, I finally rode ONE glorious wave which ended with a horrific nosedive. With salt water coming out of my nose, eyes and ears, I told my boyfriend I was good for the rest of the day.

What this says about me: adventurous, cautious, careful

8. I wrote my first book in first grade and won an award for it. The story was about a prince and the frog and coincidentally, the name of the book was titled, “The Prince and the Frog.” My prize was a life-sized stuffed gorilla.

What this says about me: born to write, plagiarizer because I’m pretty sure that story has been written

9. My former job was working at Disneyland as Mickey & Minnie Mouse, Donald & Daisy Duck, Meeko and Stitch. Needless to say, it was the best damn job I’ve ever had and I sometimes wish I could go back to it. It’s a job where you get hugs everyday! I once met Snoop Dogg (when I was in the Stitch costume) and Kate Moss (when I was Mickey).

What this says about me: luckiest person in the whole wide world

10. When I was 6, my mom made me take swimming lessons from the neighbor across the street. We were going to move later that summer to a house with a pool, so my mom wanted to make sure that I knew how to swim. However, the swimming instructor was born in the late 1800s and had no sense of empathy for a terrified 6-year-old who was reluctant to get in the water with her, so she threw me in during each lesson. We got to the last week of the swimming lessons and I had just about had it. I got the hang of floating, so in my mind, I could survive if I ever got tossed into the ocean. When the instructor was about to grab me to throw me into the pool for our lesson, I ran straight for the gate leading out into the driveway and crossed the street back to my house. I had no idea that the instructor was close behind me, inches from grabbing onto my swimsuit. I made it to the door, thrusted it open, and could hear the instructor shout, “You’re not done with your lesson!” I quickly ran inside, held the door open, and when she made it to the front door, I spit on her feet, gave her the finger and slammed the door on her face. I would’ve been proud of myself (and I was for a good 5 minutes) when I realized the extremity of what I had done. I ran into my room and hid in the closet, and waited for the death sentence I would receive from my mom.

What this says about me: I was born a rebel and badass

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Luann

Feminist, Pinay, coffee lover, boba aficionado and pop culture enthusiast. Current graduate student in Peace and Conflict Studies. Dwelling in the rainy city of Portland, Oregon but always California dreaming. You can also read more of her articles at browngirldecolonized.com
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