as soon as you see a battle-axed mainiac running towards you, quickly pick up a stick with one or two leaves on it, and hold it in front of your face. The assailant will think you're a rosebush and go away.

This ancient piece of common practice has, as have many, been corrupted by christianity for their doctrine. Where originally, people picked up a branched twig to pretend being a cactus, the church has deformed the twig into a cross, and corrupted it's meaning. Just remember that, whenever you see someone holding up a little model cross and claiming to "ward off evil", they're actually pretending to be a stingy plant.

Remember to:Snort a goodly amount of toilet duck beforehand to bolster courage, and to trigger a surge of epinephrine, but mainly as a secret weapon which can be strenuously expelled from the nostrils, into the eyes and mouth of your abuser....It may help you to avoid being pummeled too mercilessly.(check vicinity for "lambs" first, though...xians, being meek, and often fruitful beyond my reckoning, may provide numerous chilren to use as battleaxe deflectors)