September 20, 2005

Football Player Come Out As Sexual Abuse Survivor

Laveranues Coles of the New York Jets recently revealed that he was sexually abused by his step-father when he was between the ages of 10 and 13. It is always remarkable and important when a sexual abuse survivor is able to overcome social stigmas and speak about their abuse. It is also remarkable and important when a man - and a sports figure - comes out about sexual abuse. It makes it a bit easier for other sexual abuse survivors to speak out, too. It is great that Coles is also aware of this, too: "I think, you know, as a man, when you're violated in that way, you don't know how other people are going to take it, how other people are going to view you. There's so much that comes with revealing that part of your life and story...If it gets one kid to come out and say, 'Look, this is happening to me,' ... I think it's right."

Comments

Laveranues,
As I watched you on the Oprah show telling your story of sexual abuse or rape as Oprah so kindly put it. My heart went out to you. As your mother spoke I watched your face. There I saw undeniable strength,determination, and hope. But also present was fear, weakness, and vulnerability. And with all these things combined you were humanized in my eyes. All I could see was a man. Not the NFL star or the image of the man that was larger then life. I just saw a man who had been the victim of a crime. Mr. Coles, by you coming forward and reveiling a secret of this magnitude to the world, at the very least it is couragous. But for me it was life altering. I never thought that I harbored a form of prejudice toward men who had been the victim of rape. But maybe on some level I do, or I did. It didn't matter to me how it happened, whether they had been raped at home by there stepfather, or in jail by a fellow inmate. I had decided I couldn't go there and I wouldn't go there. I never saw the act for what it really was... A crime. A crime that affects men and women alike.
I heard you when you said you weren't sure how women would accept you if they knew the truth about your past. Instantly those words peirced my soul. Please allow me to aplogize first on the behalf of myself and then secondly on the behalf of women all across the globe just like me. We have always expected men to accept us and all the emotional baggage that comes along with being a woman.
But the first time a man needs that same type of support, acceptance, & understanding we run. Maybe it's out of fear or maybe it's just selfishness. Either way Laveraneus know that you did nothing wrong, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You seem to be a beautiful man inside and out and I pray God will grant you peace for your mind and a resting place for your demons.
Laveraneus you've been my boy ever since you played for the Redskins. Now, with that Love you have earned my sincerest respect. I realize what a personal struggle this confession must have been for you. And I can only imagine the demons that have re-surfaced in your life after "airing your dirty laundry." But I'm sure in due time your life will be made clearer....you just be patient.

Posted by: Joanne at October 18, 2005 07:17 PM

Hi, Laveranues
You I strong. After hereing that you were rap by your step-father,I'm realy sorry. You did a good thing by teling the world who you realy I. That make's your fans who love you more and more because you I a man. You should not think that no women will not like a man that has been sexual aubuse by their step-fathers. May god bless you in life so you can fine a wife of your chose. You I a man and a hero in life of many kids around the world. Thank you for shareing your worst night man. He is never going come back in your life.