>> Friday, March 22, 2013

Because on Instagram, no one can bombard your life with too many goings on {well, there are the insane number of hashtags}, and no one can shout at you with ALL CAPS or torment your peace of mind with real-time updates.

Presenting, my favoritest Instagram accounts at the moment where I get inspiration and even more: vicarious joy.

1. DesignLoveFest. Bri Emery is a complete goddess in my book --- she makes font types and photos make love to each other in amazing splashes of visuals.

2. Tyson Wheatley. Tyson lives in Hong Kong as a Senior Editor for CNN and he has the best perspectives. I've seen Hong Kong many times but the way he photographs HK through his iPhone is just breathtaking.

3. Kat in NYC. Everyone I know wants to see New York City and what better IG account to whet one's appetite than that of Kat's.

4. The Wandering Dakini. Where do I even begin? Abby's Instagram is a Pandora's box of emotions --- I find myself in deep throes of longing, despair and hope after seeing each and every one of her entries. She details the post processes of her photos and I do admit to trying to replicate them --- but I just cannot achieve the slightly slighted tones of her photos, the emotions of her words and the perspective of her eyes.

{ the smell of fresh laundry drying in the sun. planes leaving white veins in the blue sky. birds singing from dusk till dawn. the warmth outside versus the coolness inside the house / “everything is blooming most recklessly…” } — rilke

5. Kate Spade. Kate Spade's Instagrammer makes me want to work for them for free! KS' IG is chock full of fun stuff, snaps from their collections, witty one liners and crazy ideas.

6. The Everygirl. Wisdom, having fun, all things girly in white, Chicago hits --- I am in love with TEG's Instagram as I am with their blogzine.

7. Ashley Brooke. A stationery designer by profession, Ashley Brooke's Instagram is full of colorful, Biblical and streamlined design things. I am a huge fan of her aesthetics!

8. Gary Pepper Vintage. A model by profession, Gary takes us to obscure, never common places such as the deep woods of Europe, St. Barths, Iceland --- places we only know from books. Intensely creative and lovely, too!

>> Thursday, March 21, 2013

We, normal, average, can't-get-any-more-normal than normal folks have a problem with space. We fill it up. When we see blank, white, airy space, the first instinct is that to fill it up.

I've said this before and I would say it again: we have so much unnecessary junk in our lives. In my experience, it wasn't limited to just the physical space that was filled to the brim --- it was also the emotional baggage that came, and stayed. For so many years {this being my early 20s}, I was so hung up on numerous issues, I clung to the past of which I couldn't really change, I had 'letting go' issues, so much so I couldn't fulfill my swimming knowledge desires. Every other night, I would lock myself in my room and cry myself to sleep {an ugly but true thing about me}.

And then life had happened, and with it came maturity. At the snap of fingers, I became this person who finally forgave herself, the past, the things she did not have any control over, or things and people who no longer served a purpose in her life. For once, I learned that empty hours doing nothing was not necessarily 'empty' or indicative that I did not have a life nor family --- it was just as simple as having free time. I finally accepted something I couldn't get {you would know this if we're THAT good friends} and thought that maybe it wasn't for me those times. For so long, I've beaten myself about it ---- and finally, I was free from the shackles of my own unforgiving.

I realized that as much as we want to make our lives full, a generous amount of space was also necessary to move around, to hear thoughts, to hatch new ideas or to spend in silence. Space is useful when you need to lay out all your thoughts into the open, analyze it and put it back together.

And then I realized that it was the truth for physical space, too.

IKEA makes a freakin' good point.

It was that when presented with space, there is no need to start panicking what to put in it. It's no cause for worry that a 30 sq. m. something space is too little for all the material things of our possession. A white wall is not always calling you to fill it with useless knick knacks --- sometimes, I gather my sanity back from staring at my white {ok, fine, dolphin fin blue} wall.

A lot of white can really be a source of calm most of the time. And yes, this is why I haven't been rushing to get my new queen-sized bed with matching shelves. or my new wall-tall book shelves, or why like IKEA, I asked myself: "Does the living room really need a sofa?" I didn't really need a dining set, I wanted a home office so that's what I'm getting.

It's true when they say that you don't need to follow the rules, the norm or what is tried and tested. I truly believe that now.

>> Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Here's a tidbit of inspiration I am meaning to share with you. I've always been an Adidas girl and I love the Laila Ali ad forever and ever but this one is just the boost of inspiration I needed to hear.

There are no grand celebrations here. No speeches. No bright lights. But there are great athletes. Somehow we’ve come to believe that greatness is reserved for the chosen few, for the superstars. The truth is greatness is for all of us. This is not about lowering expectations, its about raising them for every last one of us. Because greatness is not in one special place, and it is not in one special person. Greatness is wherever somebody is trying to find it.

>> Monday, March 18, 2013

My friends and I have a bit of wish: We do hope that we could walk around everywhere we go with an invisible spotlight from a good angle and be illuminated with this so we can look amazing in photos.

Tall order, yes? And quite ambitious, too.

"Lit from within" was L'oreal Lucent Magique's promise --- as we have discovered from a Parisian afternoon with the folks from the French brand. I knew I've heard of this variant last year through BDJ Box {where I am a beauty ed.} and through Liz' blog. I've known L'oreal as a brand all my life --- I've started being "vain" with it --- and even if I can now afford more high-end brands, I always come back to this drugstore love of mine.

What I Love about L'oreal Lucent Magique:

The Texture and Consistency. As it has been with previous renditions of the L'oreal foundation {it's always refined every year, as I noticed, the last one being with pearls}, this is just of the right texture. It's smooth without being too runny. It is more fluid than I'd like it to be, as I expected it to be more mousse-y like BB creams but it was as liquid as it could get.

The Coverage. I would say that L'oreal Lucent Magique is of medium coverage, which is enough for every day "I'm-this-perfect" look. I had expected it to be sheer, given its light-reflecting capabilities but it wasn't. Medium coverage means you can build up and make it heavier whenever you wish to.

The Finish. Would you believe I don't use powder with this? And in this heat, too! I know! You know how I discovered I didn't need to use powder with this? I got out of my house without patting on finishing powder and after four hours, my face still looked glowy and dewy but not too oily. I have been, however, not at all oily for the past five months so that's a point to consider.

The Price. At Php 845 for a 30 ml bottle, this comes off as affordable. If you have yet to find your HG foundation, this is something that's nice to try.

The SPF. This is really just an added bonus but hey, why not?

The Tone. During the afternoon thing with L'oreal, I wanted to switch my bottle for something of the Golden tone but no more stocks were available so I just let it be. As I tried N2 Pure Porcelain, I realized it was just right. Even my friend C, whom I have shared this bottle with in one of our impromptu makeup sessions exclaimed that it is a very good product to use. This coming from someone who is a MAC C30, a rare shade for Filipinas.

The Pump. Always a good choice.

Plus my current favorite, Lancome Juicy Tube in Rosita Tangerine

What I Don't Love:

The packaging. I used to peg rose gold as a very sophisticated color but this bottle doesn't feel high end to me. I am not sure why :(

I have three pimples on my face now. I haven't had pimples in a long time so this comes as a surprise.

Longevity. There are brands which last all day. It's not bad at half a day but it could do better.

It doesn't work well with my shu uemura Tsuya skin underbase. Nor my Benefit Porefessional. :s It seems to appear cakey and weird.

Recommendation: This is a foundation that's versatile for both everyday use and on special occasions, just pile on the coverage. All in all, I would say that if you don't have yet a bottle as your go to foundation, this is a good ally.

>> Sunday, March 17, 2013

Over and over, I am deluged by a wave of realizations since 2013 came in. Not too sure if this is brought on by the fact that I rarely congregate in large groups, that I have much more quiet time than I’ve had before and the fact that I’m well into my late 20s.

When I think about who I was and when I read my journals from the 90s and early 2000s, I kind of want writhe into nothing. When I moved homes, I was contemplating whether to burn them away --- some of them were just too agonizingly painful to read. Not because of what I had been going through but because I was incredibly shallow.

I sometimes wish I can talk to my 13-year-old self and thunk me on the head.

But I can’t do that now, can I? So because I can’t do that but I can write my fluffy-headed 13-year-old self --- and any 13-year-old girl who’s reading this:

Dear Tara,

It’s the year of your discovery of the Internet --- and like that, the world is opening up to you. You just moved to a new school, much against your will. You will love it, I promise, and you will realize sooner that it was the life you would much rather have. It’s nice to be 10 minutes away from school, dearest. It’s nice to come home in the afternoon and not to be tired of your daily commute from Manila.

Soon, you will be doing many of the things you love doing --- you will be writing for the school paper and spearheading your yearbook committee. You will fall in like with a lot of boys and you will get your heart broken more than once. That is okay. But do realize that 10 years after, you will forget about them --- without you trying, you will get to know a world that is much better and bigger than what you see now. Keep taking in all the knowledge that you learn everyday. Know that the world doesn’t end when you lose some things that you lost --- they will be replaced with better models. Blessings are waiting for you, so continue that route in which you forge a relationship with Jesus.

It’s okay not to be the prom queen, the valedictorian, the volleyball team captain --- your dream of being smart and pretty will come, much later, when you shed off your awkward phase {a long one, would you believe}. You would sway the world with your words and your stories will be woven into the tapestry of so many lives you will touch. Your thoughts will bring you places --- keep them coming.

Keep writing, keep dreaming, keep living the life you want --- the world is yours for the taking.

>> Saturday, March 16, 2013

I'm borrowing Graham Hill's title from his last article on New York Times. When I flicked my eyes through each of the article's letters, it was like an echo of my thoughts as I washed my dirt-laden fingers. I've been hauling boxes all weekend and have moved into a new home. But unlike Graham's 3,600 sq. ft. loft, I was living in a four-bedroom apartment, had househelp, had breakfast, lunch and dinner prepared for everyday and never had to worry about my bills.

In my head, I live in a modest BUT pink house =P

Like him though, I recently moved into a much smaller space --- but one that afforded me the nearness of everything, from my work place to my meeting places, to my church. I no longer needed a household help --- besides, I loved cleaning. It was the shock of how much unnecessary stuff I had that baffled me for days.

We live in a world of surfeit stuff, of big-box stores and 24-hour online shopping opportunities. Members of every socioeconomic bracket can and do deluge themselves with products.

There isn’t any indication that any of these things makes anyone any happier; in fact it seems the reverse may be true.

During the two weeks that I'd packed, I came across so many shoes I haven't worn in months, books I never got to read and don't plan on reading, letters which don't matter to me anymore, boarding passes of trips from long, long ago, mementos and knick knacks I wasn't even sure why I kept and all sorts of pens, crayons, souvenirs I couldn't care less about.

"What a hoarder," I thought to myself.

Prior to those weeks, I have moved in to my place with two boxes of necessities in tow. I brought in some clothes, a number of plates, utensils, toiletries, vitamins and food and coffee. There was a bit of fear as I thought I might've forgotten some stuff back home but as the week ended, I knew one thing: I could live with less.

And so that's what I did. I gave away half {maybe even two thirds} of what I own. I am proud to have just hauled less than 10 boxes to where I am now, all of which are varying needs such as clothes, books, shoes, appliances and some artwork. I still haven't unpacked everything because I still didn't need all of it {or I am too lazy ha ha}. But my friend Graham Hill summed it up best:

Like the 420-square-foot space I live in, the houses I design contain less stuff and make it easier for owners to live within their means and to limit their environmental footprint. My apartment sleeps four people comfortably; I frequently have dinner parties for 12. My space is well-built, affordable and as functional as living spaces twice the size. As the guy who started TreeHugger.com, I sleep better knowing I’m not using more resources than I need. I have less — and enjoy more.

My space is small. My life is big.

I'm lucky to be sleeping under the stars every night only to be woken up, ever so quietly by the morning sunshine every day. I'm fine with that.

>> Friday, March 15, 2013

It's a bipolar Thursday as I type this --- the day started out with blinding sunshine. Where I live, I sleep under the stars and the sun comes to wake me every single morning. This morning was extra bright --- which I don't mind at all.

And then it started raining. And then as I type this now, the sun is beaming behind my back. It's nice but my head hurts already --- maybe I should head home soon.

My friend Chai tells me one thing always, whenever I'm discombulated about something, whenever I'm stressed {or depressed, which is very rare} to take a bath and or a shower and everything will feel better after.

It always works. My guess is that it will even be more fun if soaps came in clay form.Oh wait --- it does! xx
I cannot stress the importance of a good bath time --- it's more than just a need and responsibility to society --- it's a way to spend precious time on, because it will dictate the way one will feel throughout the day.

What could be sweeter? 2.5% of sales from every bar of FUN is contributed to the FUNd, a LUSH initiative which supports charities in Fukushima, Japan that create safe places for children to play outside.

Each roll is for sale at Php 295.

Now, a trip to LUSH is not complete without going around the yummy-smelling store!

>> Monday, March 11, 2013

There was this article that I'd been reading. My friend Frances shared it on her Facebook feed and curiously, it got me clicking away. This particular part of the article had me thinking "I was just like this!" :s

When You're Poor ...

Every poor
person I knew got a big check one time a year in the form of their tax
return. They made just enough money to file taxes, and made little
enough to claim "earned income credit," which is a tax credit that can
dramatically boost your return. For my ex-wife and I, it meant getting
around $5,000 at the end of January. And just like many poor people,
we'd be broke within days of cashing that check, our living room
sporting a new TV. Or we'd replace our old computers and all of our
furniture. There's a reason many poor people blow through that money
instead of saving it for future bills.

When you live in poverty,
you're used to your bank account revolving very tightly around a balance
of zero. Your work money comes in and goes right back out to bills,
leaving you breaking even each month (if you're lucky). That's the life
you've gotten used to. It's normal for you.

-->
It’s yearly bonus time again and the shopaholic in me is tingling in excitement as I anticipate all the things I could do with my money. Visit a new country, buy that designer bag I’d been dreaming of for many months now or how about a nice new bed and matching 500 thread count Egyptian sheets?

I’m not too sure when I stopped thinking like this – maybe it was the wisdom of growing old, or the comfort of multiple sources of income that I suddenly was just not into purchasing unnecessary stuff anymore. After the consideration of space limitations comes the justification: Why do I need this again?

So now that I’ve eliminated the option of buying yet another senseless {but most likely to be gorgeous} purchase, I was left with a conundrum to solve: What to do with my windfall?

Here are some of my very adult options on what to do with my windfall. Some of them might just be for you, too!

a. Pay my dues in advance. In my case, since I’m paying for my home, I am making an advance deposit on the account. One responsibility off my back, yeah? That and making a defense against interest rates. If you have credit card debt, this is the best way to pay off whatever you owe because as time ticks away, so does your compounded interest.

b. Pay yourself. Something I’ve always considered a necessary expense, paying myself is a necessary step whenever I have a huge sum of money coming in. Whereas I used to think that rewards for myself came in the form of red-soled heels before, now, that means more zeroes in my bank account balance.

c. Put the money somewhere it will grow. So you don’t have a use for that money --- why not go shopping? However, if there was anything I’ve learned in the last five years is that it’s not how much you have --- it’s what you do with your money. There are a TON of options {from SDAs, the stock market, to TDs to UITFs and Mutual Funds}. Make your money grow. You won’t regret it.

d. Charity. So you have so much money, you need space. Why not give it to the needy? After all, they say that the best investment is where the money builds people. Choose a cause, an advocacy and be rewarded with things that money cannot buy.

e. Set up your retirement fund. Something most of the older Filipinos overlooked, the retirement fund was my very first foray into investing as soon as I started working. It is a very comforting thought to know that even if I may end up alone when I'm old, at least I won't be alone and poor. You know another reason? Companies will loan you education fund for your kids, a home loan and whatever loan. No one lends anyone retirement money.

f. Get something you've always wanted. It may really have been something you've planned for in a long time so if you have no debts, and no outstanding financial responsibilities, then yes, go ahead! :)

>> Sunday, March 10, 2013

The changes that come to one's life aren't always met with a joyful smile. Sometimes, and inevitably, a panic attack comes in the middle of the night and will make you question every single decision you've made throughout the day, the week, the month.

It happens. It happened to me and I am only thankful for the people in my life who loved me.

We can only love because we are loved.

If you truly looked at each and every moment in your life, you will see how much of that is evidence that God loved and does love you. Every person who looks beyond your flaws, who stayed with you even if you run away, every person who forgives you --- that's God in the works. It is humbling and it is comforting. That is love.

I equate every packing and unpacking of bags and boxes into a new beginning. Whereas it meant new friends, new frenemies and new crushes back when I was 12, at 27, packing and unpacking means a chance to throw away the bad stuff, to wheedle out the things we haven't used in a long time and start anew.

In the course of my blogging life, I have already had two moves --- the latter being just a couple of weeks ago. The first one was after a long contemplation about a relationship. When I packed my bags, it signaled a change in cities and I --- walking away from someone's life for good.

This time, it's nothing of the sort. Just plain old life delivering its changes. And they're good, I promise. Life has been amazing for me since 2013 came in. Blessing after blessing has been coming and I can't help but beam in happiness and try to give back what I have been so generously been given. It's true what they say in church: you can't outgive God.

Sometime in 2009, I said this: “I'm on the highest point on a roller coaster, about to be released. And all I can do is hold my breath.”

I can say that I am just there right now. :)

So that's all I really wanted to say --- that I'm thankful for being given a chance to start anew everyday. For having a brand new lease in life every so often, to feel forgiven, to have a clean slate to draw on. Thank you.

And no, the song doesn't have anything to do with me --- the title is just the same, is all :D

>> Saturday, March 9, 2013

There is no way to fathom the depth of a denial. It's a pain that slowly permeates from the heart, through the chest, and then without warning, to your eyes. The next thing you know, you're crying your eyes out at 3 AM despite the knowledge of your 8 AM meeting.

Anyone has had this. It could be something you've prayed for so fervently. I know this because there has been something I've been praying for --- for about five years now, and I still haven't gotten it. I've often wondered if it was a personal vendetta of the universe to me until lately, though I don't know if I would get it finally, that I realized that things have a way of working out.

You see, I am quite the multi-tasker. Despite my non-admittance, I love getting recognition, rewards and good words from my personal stakeholders. I love it when my work is affirmed {especially if it's paid!} because it assures my effort and I know that no energy has been wasted. Sometimes, we don't get this, and we begin to question the validity of this denial and all the efforts that have gone out.

And then adulthood happened and all these denials made sense.

I understand now why the trips I wanted for so long never happened. I understand the relationships which never happened. I understand the relationships that have happened but failed into destruction. I understand the friendships which have fallen away after decades. I now understand the denials and failures and rejections which have resulted to make me turn into directions I never would've gone through, people whom I may never have met if not for the trajectories caused by the detours that blind us from somewhere.

Someday, I will thank these small instances that breaks my smile, and realize that indeed, there was a reason for it all. When I look back in hindsight, everything will make sense.

>> Friday, March 8, 2013

Contrary to what I had believed of myself and of the way I lived my life, I don't like everything that has happened to me.

I am not talking about the unhappy misfortunes I've experienced in my past --- rather the points of my life that were pivotal, changes of which were dependent on no one else but me. There were numerous instances that I was too lax, too indecisive, too sleepy to make a decision so I didn't.

I don't know what it was that triggered that goal-oriented side of me. Maybe it was needing to attribute my good fortune to myself and lessening regrets and mistakes. I just know that one day, I was doing an audit of my life and I knew that I had to grow up and be proactively decisive with the marked instances that come my way.

I guess it was inevitable, to look back at life and see where you've gone --- not wrong, but rather inactive. When I took count and audited the life I had, there were admittedly things I wished I took more accountability for. I wish I wasn't that keen on impressing people I didn't even like when I was in high school. I wish that instead of trying to be a good girl so I could go out and party, I should've just stayed in more and read or study molecular biology. Or studied the piano. Or took up a sport. I wish I did better in college than just coast through my college life because in my head, I knew I was smart and that I could pass it without trying {of course I tried and passed but I know I didn't go to the edge}. I wish that I was more proactive in getting my life together than trying to chase a person whom I thought was filling up the gaps only to have that gap get bigger. I wish I took an active stance in deciding for myself and not blame the circumstances that I was born with and have been given.

But you know what all those feel-good quotes say --- it's never too late to become what you want to be and all that. I am not really trying to become into something else because I am where I wanted myself to be right now, after all.

But it could've been better.

So starting today --- and for the days to come, I'm going to write down the things I want to achieve and commit and convict myself to them. So many days are passing by everyday and some, unfortunately, do not contribute to the goals I had in mind. I will stop doing things which are nothing but activities to pass the time, out of the shyness to say no or the ones I bring upon myself because I haven't thought something through. In the future, when I look back at this day, I will know that each and every action I made since is something I've done out of my convictions, passions and a strong decision to do so. When I look at how I spend a weekend in March, I want to know that I was the one who strongly decided for myself to stay in and not go out clubbing. Or that a spontaneous roadtrip was one that was truly one I needed and passionately and crazily wanted to be. I will refuse to waste another minute of my life with meetings which do not contribute to the task at hand and instead do what I love.

I knew that THAT was the only way to minimize life's regrets.

And that, my friends, is when I learned the importance of making decisions.

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours. It is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

>> Thursday, March 7, 2013

I love show rooms. There I said it.

Here's the thing, I've been home-shopping for the past months. I wish I didn't have to say in public spaces because the last time I did, hoards upon hoards of realtors and brokers called me every freakin' hour. While I appreciate realtors and brokers and I like going over details and payment plans, I tend to get crankier by the minute when I get unnecessary calls, about 10 of them, in a day.

Going to show rooms, are of course, a different matter altogether. Especially if they're out of town.

Some weekends ago, I had the chance to drop by a budding development's showrooms down south. By down south, I mean beside Alabang Town Center, near the cinemas, where Avida had a couple of their model units on display. It was a not-too-warm Saturday morning and you know me, I have a thing for well-designed interiors. As I investigated, the model units were for an upcoming development in Tagaytay called Asilo, which was derived from the Tagalog word silong or to shelter. Due to be turned over in 2015, the units ranged from 2M to 8M, all of which are pretty affordable, especially with the crazy prizes of homes these days. Believe me, I know.

Anyway, I thought of sharing you some photos from the little trip. It can be so aliw creating vignettes out of the units' interiors. In my head, I could make up silly little stories about people who lived there just by seeing their homes.

Of course, a fan of bedrooms, this was my first stop.

Obviously, the wife of the house gets to decide on the color scheme :P

The kiddo's room is blue and red schemed

My next stop was the bachelor pad:

One panel of the studio unit was a very wide mirror. Pwede pang girl!
Then again, a girl needs closet space.

A family photo and a basketball = seems like a grounded guy.

... and he reads, too!

Someone stocked up on Quaker Oats =P Though I have a nagging feeling these are the girlfriend's.

A guy will always be a guy.

And last but not the least is my favorite, the 1 bedroom:

Obviously, her favorite place is Watson's.

Love the all white interiors. Always.

Labada Espesyal.

I felt a little jig of glee as I saw the kitchen. Lately, I've been dabbling at cooking and while I cannot and would not cook for anyone else just yet {just because I'm embarrassed}, I can bake stuff already! I felt at home at the model unit kitchen!

... plus an equally beautiful setting for lovely guests.

Looks like someone slept blissfully.

Green + Pink works!

I kinda really liked going around the Asilo model units. Of course I took into consideration some of the stuff found in the neighborhood, too. As it was right smack in the middle of the Tagaytay roundabout, it looks like it's going to be a perfect sanctuary for those weekend trips to Tagaytay. It's a few minutes' drive to all our favorite places such as Buon Giorno, Sonia's Garden and Bag of Beans, among others!

Unit floor areas range from 22 to 80 sqm, and prices range from 2M to 8M. For more information about Asilo Tagaytay and any Avida condo in the Philippines, please visit www.bit.ly/AsiloTagaytay or call (+632) 848 5200 (within Metro Manila) and 1-800-10 848-5200 (outside Metro Manila).

...

The Author.

I believe that a beautiful mind is attainable with a beautiful heart. It's easy to blog about that makes us beautiful on the outside --- it's the inside beauty that I'm trying to figure out.
I can be emailed at tjcabullo (at) gmail (dot) com.