Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I've always been fascinated by Halloween. I don't know why, but as far back as I can remember I always was excited every year it came. The candy and the costumes. The terrors, hijinks and scares.

However here's my confession. I've never been trick or treating. Never really been to a costume or masquerade party. Nothing.

Why??

Well my parents didn't allow it. They don't like Halloween, never did. My dad I'm unsure to this day why he doesn't like it. My mom on the other hand was snatched by some creeper. More like kidnapped. He didn't hurt her, but he knew her name and took her purse. Then dump her purse on some playground type field and didn't even take her money or anything I'll say she was around 18 years old when that happened. Soo she's developed a life long hate for Halloween.

However they would let me dress up. Buy me candy and other things I liked. Watch some Halloween themed movies. Just as long as they weren't scary. So yeah we're talking Disney lol.

Even in all that, Halloween is still my favorite holiday. I still get excited when it comes and love all that's goes along with it. Maybe one day I'll get to to trick or treating and definitely attend a party or two. Even if I don't get a chance to do so, it'll still be my favorite holiday ^_^

Madea: Chargers eh? Did you shoplift these?Bunny: There should be two more.

Madea: *looks in bag; find the other two* Here.

Bunny: Thank you.

Madea: Want your instruction book too?

Bunny: yes thanks—wait minute *thought about what Madea said earlier* I did not shoplift these Mom.

Madea: You'll tell me anything.

Bunny: Lol Yeah.

So then Jimmy Kimmel was talking about some nonsense about a naked Justin Beiber and then showed a picture of a black man taking his picture. But he was naked but had a censor box on his pelvic region.Bunny: Aww look mom *points to naked man on tv*

Madea: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?? I wanna see his dick not his underarm. They show women's vaginas and stuff I want to see his thing-a-ling dammit!

So those of you that have a Facebook and are a fan of the Sims franchise (either or). I'm sure you've heard of The Sims Social Game on Facebook.

Well I would play at first and it would be mostly put of boredom. Then they added the quests and I despised them because they were always a week long and I couldn't get everything done. Then they up the week to 2 weeks and then a month. But still it's hard to ask for stuff when no one will give it. Or definitely won't click. So from time to time I would take a break and pop in when I was extremely bored.

Well today while I'm checking my email I get this message from The Sims Social. The subject line read: ;'( . Here's what the message said:

No you don't get 2000 simoleons it's just a picture people.

BUT OMG!! How sad and pathetic is that????? I felt so bad as a I sort of chortled. Ehh it's been awhile since I've played, I might go check in on her today in between finishing my story ^_^.

So as you may know that when I type up a lot of things I sometimes use words that others may not be too familiar with. I get a good many of my definitions from Urban Dictionary. Well everyday they send you this "word of the day" email. Today's word was Bug-out Bag. So I read the definition and sometimes the things they publish makes no sense.

Anyway here's the word used in an conversational example:

Joe- Dude why did you spend $500 dollars on that nasty ass dehydrated food from eFoods.com?

Russ- Well, when the biological bomb goes off as an act of false flag terror by our own government to rape us of more liberties and send us to FEMA camps for our Vaccines Im grabbing my M4 500rounds and my Bug-out Bag stocked with food, rope a space blanket and my Kobe Tai synthetic ribbed anus and vagina and heading to the hills in Grizdale.

Joe- Is it the vibrating anus or just synthetic pocket pussy?

Most people would be like what the hell is up with the M4 500 rounds and what's makes him think that someone can possible survive an nuclear warfare??? But no Joe doesn't ask such said questions. He wants to know if the fake ass vibrates or not XD.

So I'm here at the Eat-n-Park grabbing a late night eat. I asked the waitress where the bathroom was and headed back there. I was like holding it for a long time and was ready to go anywhere if I had to. Too much information I know, but you know what I'm talking about.

Well after I finish my "turn" and I unlock and open the door. Here comes this Older Woman and she looks at me odd. Then looks behind her and rushes into the handicap bathroom. Well when I decide I can come out if the stall. Here's this other woman. I'm like oh ok, I excuse myself and she's standing there staring at me as if to say WHY ARE YOU HERE???

So I squeezed pass her to the sink. She pretends to go into the stall I left then made a detour and the older woman opened up her stall and the other woman went in. I would say I was shocked. But that's not out of the ordinary for me, but I thought it was quite humorous for second. Because it made me recall the time I was doing the same thing XD LOL!!

So I washed my hands and giggled silently to myself the remaining time I was in there.

She calls twice and I'm getting cussed out because I missed the 20th World War and there's a Monkey hanging upside down on my ceiling fan whilst moonwalking. She was sooo worried sick that the boogie man could've killed me with a plushie toy.

What's up with Moms?? In particular what's going on with Madea?? (; ¬_¬)

The people I used to care about the most. I think I need to talk about them for a quick minute.

The people I cared about the most treated me like toilet paper. They know I'm always going to be there when they need me. I'm always there, no judgement and full of care. I take their shit and even let them piss on me. Then once they've gotten what they wanted from me. They toss me aside. They never checked on me or came to see how I was doing. Not even a hello, how do you feel today? Is there something you need. Nothing. They just concerned themselves about that they wanted and how they felt.

The only time they gave a crap about me is when I've said I'm tired and I've had it and decided to run out. Then I get all the attention in the world and they act like their life can't coexist without me there. When the shit is hitting the fan, I mean more to them [then] than oxygen does.

So thinking things could possibly change or get better. I decide to meet them half way and try again.

Because of that slight bought of naïveté. I go back to them. Sadly nothing changes and I'm left alone in the dark what seems like forever, up until they need me again. They come, they're nice, they use me, and dump me just as quickly and their off to making their life more happier. The whole while draining all my energy I put in to make this friendship work. Draining me from being happy.

Men when your woman says she's going out with friends and she stays out until the next morning—

I'mma be honest and say this. You can get mad at me, you can even I don't know how to trust someone and I'm talking nonsense. But at 4 in the morning ain't no woman hanging out with girlfriends ok!! There's nothing to do usually, expect go to a 24 hour location. Think about it this way, do you think that her girlfriends' men are okay with their women hanging out. Now if if she say she went to have drinks, why is driving alone? If she's going out with her friends, why must she drive alone? Now if if its before 3am, there's no doubt in my mind she's on the down low and you just never knew. She keeps it a secret for a reason, maybe more. But after 3am, she's not out with girlfriends—a boyfriend maybe but definitely no woman ^_^ trust me I know, I messed ariund with both lol

Friday, October 26, 2012

So while I'm here at the McDonald's picking some up. There's a car in front of me who seem to take driving lesson by Circus Clowns. I get to place my order and in the midst of looking for the correct change. The car in front of me stopped and parked.

Then all this screaming took place and this fat short lady with too close for comfort hairstyleor maybe I should say man-cut? Anyway she jumps out her car with these home made cut off shorts that were apparently a good 10years ago too little with this rainbowed tye dye shirt. Then she had some of those hipster glasses, but these were definitely prescription.

This lady is screaming WAIT A MINUTE!! WAIT A MINUTE!! SIS HURRY UP!! OH MY GAWD!!! YOU ALL GOT TO WAIT!!

She goes to the back and grabs her two little rat like dogs, both terriers I do believe. She grabs their leash. Tells her sister to pay for their food they ordered. Then looks over at me and says:

"They have to poop now"

I'm thinking:

One why you telling me? And two, WTF did they say hey yo Mom we got to shit, like right now...?

So she walks them over to this small patch of land that hugs the alley that's behind the McDonald's. It took them a good 10-15 minutes to find a place to drop two pellet turds. She cleans up and dumps the bag in the garbage can by the car wash. Gross I know.

The woman walked the dogs up and down the alley way a few times before going back to the car. She put the dogs in their shared child car seat. Yes it was a child car seat. Told them to stay and wait. Then ran and jiggled her way to the passenger side to get in the car. Then she commenced to continue her conversation with her sister like nothing had happened.

So I had ordered something a couple days ago. Maybe a week or so at the most. It came apparently on Thursday without my knowledge. I only got one confirmation and usually I would get another but this time I didn't.

The Redelivery Notice said that it would be available today after 9am. Alright. I said yesterday I'd go and check on it.

I just left the post office a good 15minutes or so ago. I signed the form, showed the woman my Drivers License. She went to to get it. So it took her a good 15minutes to come back. And she's like It's not here. What the fuck does that mean? So I asked her what she meant by that. She says there's a bunch of letters back there and I can't possibly look through them all and apparently it must be lost or it definitely ain't here, try again tomorrow or next week. I said tomorrow? The whole while thinking this bitch is crazy. So I asked again was she sure it wasn't there. She gave me the same bullshit line. So I left pissed. Went to the car and dialed the number on the back of the slip. Now in the midst of waiting to talk to a humanoid person my hand felt wet. I check and the slip is soaking wet in one corner. There's a weird number written on it. So then I did get mad and reported that shit.

So in the process of reporting my problem. Tell me why the customer service representative tells me they can have the mailman redeliver it tomorrow. I'm like no, she she's like why not. Because I don't know when he comes and I'm not about to wait all day outside for him to do whatever the fuck. The day before he came at 11:30am. Yesterday he came at 12pm. Last week he came at 9am. The week before he was coming at 3pm. Are you serious??? So the woman said she would document and have someone call me within one business day so basically next week about the package.

So all this bullshit and by time they figure out what could've possibly have happened. My stuffs gonna be sent back to the shipper. However I do plan on contacting the shipper today and let them know about this bull.

Now what I don't understand is how the United States Postal Service can be particular about hiring someone like me who do my fucking job. Yet they hire these incompetent, shifty and downright useless ass people who fuck up more things than better them. Don't tell me my package got lost or it's somewhere else when I haven't received it and the shipper sent it. As far as things are concerned I'm blaming the go-between which is the Post office. Even when I sold a few things on Amazon and eBay, I always ended up with a problem. One was that the package magically opened itself and it got lost during process. Or the persons had shipped to never did receive it yet the Post Office tells me they did.

I don't have much respect for the post office and I get pissed off when shit happens and they can't explain how or why. Ugh they know how to give a serious headache.

So I been finding some awesome outfit ideas on facebook and I've picked out quite a few that I liked and that were well put together. Plus these also give you the extra help you may need with some clothes you already have. But it won't be based on outfit and ensamble ideas; there will be differe how to on fashion just like I post how tos on nail art, hair and make-up. All in the days work of a Fashionista lol.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this compilation and the future ones to come as well :)

There are just some days where I don't want to talk, hear or read about your perfectly fucked up relationship with the best/worst man of the world. Or how cute your football tribe of Bebe's kids are the next cutest things to ponies. No I don't want to hear about how you get a new job every two weeks because you deserve it because you took 2 classes at a backyard trade school. Please by all means don't tell me I don't understand anything because I refuse to cock my legs open like an express way tunnel to get attention from a low life douchewaffle. Don't act like you're better than me because you have a "supposed significant other" plus a house full of kids, a job you don't want, and all the welfare benefits in the world. Just because you decided to take the easy way out on life and spread your legs better than butter on toast. Doesn't mean I'm a complete failure. So please don't rub that dumb cockamamie bullshit in my face.

And if at any moment you think you've been hurting my feelings or trying to up the ante on me....you definitely got another thing coming ok!

So since November and Thanksgiving is right around the corner literally. I decided I'd do another project.

For most people they talk about all the blessings and things they are thankful for. In my case and other we only have one, a small few things to be thankful for—if any at all. That's how things goes. Yes one should be thankful to be alive but when you're getting your ass kicked everyday are you really truly thankful?? No and I would hope not.

So I've decided to do something different. Instead of listing 30 things I'm thankful for, I'm going to do 30 days of Confessions, Pet Peeves and the little things that make and break me so to speak. It makes things more interesting and gives an option when you need a break from all the "LOVE" floating around lol.

So starting November 1, 2012 I'll be starting the new project Bunny's Confessions. One confession per day. Be on the look out for that!

Now second item to be discussed. Christmas! Since I missed Christmas last year and I'm making up for lost time anyway I've decided to do 24 Days of Christmas but with a twist like the 25 Days Of Bunny. I think it'll be real interesting too! I can't wait for that! That project will be starting December 1, 2012. I'll be sure to give your reminder towards the end of November ok!

For the last couple weeks I've been disgusted with the person I love the most. He went back to being mean and nasty to me. I decided to leave it alone and not pursue it anymore.

What may have seemed like petty actions to others. His actions was speaking loud and clear. Telling me that he didn't want nothing to do with me. What hurts the most is that I'm sure he knows as much as I do. But yet he didn't care either way.

I still really care about him. But I also know I'm wasting my time and need to leave it alone.

Yesterday I saw him for the first time in weeks or so. Maybe even a month. Sitting there wasting time before he checked out for work. While I was at the parking lot letting my jealousy be fueled by the girls who were eating ice cream together. I happened to hear his voice. Even though I was a good distance away. I could still hear his voice, smell his cologne and notice his every moment as he talked to a coworker.

Then as I watched him pull off and head home to his wife and kids. I couldn't help but develop a serious hate for her. She has it all and is so unappreciative. Yet he's contented with it all. Pick up what she lacks here and there from any girl and go right back home to her. Then I sit there and wonder what makes her and any other woman for that matter so special to pick up any guy? What makes them so approachable and want-able?

Then I got a twinge in my heart from thinking about the three years I wasted loving him when he had no intentions from the beginning to love me. Whether I wasn't good enough or what he wanted. I wasted good love that could've and should've went to someone else more deserving. But that void he put into my heart made me make bad decisions and hurt myself that much more. To the point I hate everything about and pertaining to love.

I don't like to see it, hear about it, not even be subjected to it. I can't stand it anymore it makes me sick—literally.

I just don't understand how you can fall in love with someone who doesn't love you and they're perfectly ok with that. The whole while you're hurting and aching on the inside.

So I sat there wanting cry. Disgusted I wasted good love on, not one but two, people who had no intention of loving me from the beginning. Unlike everyone else who gets up and try again. I don't want to. Unlike them I don't have the friends who have strong shoulders to cry on. I'll be all alone crying to myself and attempt at giving myself a hug to know that maybe one day it'll be ok, even though I know deep down that's not true.

I guess I'm just torn. I still love him and probably always will. But I can't find it in myself to endure another painful love where I get nothing but hurt in return and left all alone.

As far as I'm concerned I don't want love ever again not even the next life time. Let me stay bitter, my heart is protected that way.

No sooner had I finished typing this. I saw him. Could help but think of his cologne, the way he touched me, his beautiful smile, that ruggedness in the tone of his voice. Smiling happy and contented. I stood there watching walk away, the only time I get an eyeful of him. While my stomach was butterflied and my heart ached.

It made me wonder how I can hate someone I love so much. I guess this is what it means to be torn between the two.

Yesterday while I sat in the parking lot wondering what to actually do with myself. I saw two girls pull up and park several spaces from me. They had just gotten ice cream at the McDonald's. Nothing fancy, just a sundae. They sat there and giggled and laughed. They seemed to be really having a good time. I couldn't help but get jealous.

As far as I could remember I always desperately wanted a friendship like that. I heard all the things of how people made friends in school and stuck with that friend for the rest of their lives. They were happy and that friend made life's hardships that much easier.

I tried hard. However I never got such said friendship. I was the one always doing the hosting, paying and everything. While they did nothing and even half assed the relationship from the beginning.

Failed friendship after failed friendship I learned that apparently I was doing something wrong. I tried to make new friends but the relationship always went south no sooner than it had just begun. Even if I tried to repair it or build the bond stronger. They refuse to help or meet me halfway.

Now that I'm older nothing has changed. I always end up with the fucked up friends. I tried to make new friends. But since everybody's getting married, having children or creating a life I can't do at the moment due to circumstances. They push me aside and only pop in every now and then if they want a babysitter or their new friends are busy with their spouses and families.

I've gotten to the point that I don't trust people. I refuse to open up or take down my brick wall. I'm tired of being disappointed all the time an being told how I don't understand something. And no I don't want to babysit.

I won't say I don't miss having another person to talk to and spend time with. But I also know even if I get such an opportunity it's not going to last. I rather not get close to people at all and keep everyone at a distance. That way I won't end up hurt, my expectations won't be proven wrong, I end up left alone.

I guess this has been weighing heavily on my mind because recently I've felt lonely. It's nice to connect with other people. But also I get tired of my mom and we can't always communicate. The things she wants to talk about are things I have no interest in. I don't like cooking or the junk that comes on TV now. No I'm not a fan of the news either. But I also feel I shouldn't have to pay someone in some way or form to have them spend just 5 lousy minutes with me.

However I've decided that I don't want any more friends. I refuse to try to make friends with anyone else. I'll just have to sacrifice that small smidgen of happiness that I'll never get to experience all for my feelings and my safety from being taken advantage of. It maybe harsh and to some I'm cutting myself short. But I don't want a friend later to sit in a nursing home with to reminisce and forget things with. I want a friend now, where it counts the most and give me something to reminisce about.

But we can't always have what we want now can we?

So I sat there and watched the two girls laugh and have fun. Eat their ice cream and create a bond and I kind of hoped for their sale that their friendship will last for a long time.

Friendships are a lot like Relationships. They happen to some of us and are just a faded dream that'll never happen for the rest of us.

I know that in life that some things have to fall in place. Others take time to mold themselves into something great. While others just continuously fall apart no matter how many times you've tried to repair it.

I've spent my last couple weeks. Job searching. I keep telling myself to give up. But something inside tells me to try one more time. And when I do, I get impatient and feel uneasy. When things don't pan out, I get worried and then that wariness turns into disappointment. Then that in fact turns into anger.

I have a right to be angry. I couldn't finish college due to the price. I had no choice but to drop out. I had lost my financial aid, my mother couldn't help with her fixed income. No one has some odd $52,000 laying around. So I decided to get a job. However because I hadn't finish, I couldn't be considered for a job. It wasn't about me not having enough experience or having the "marketable skills" it was because I didn't have a degree. I tried to go back to school but when life happens you can't focus on menial things. Plus having no financial aid my third time trying proved futile and I was put out and told never to come back.

So I tried to get a job again. Nothing. No call backs no saying we don't want you or to try again later. Nothing. When things take a turn you've got to do what's best. I felt a need to get my life on track to build something for myself. My mother's not going to be here forever. So I need to know for sure I can take care of myself with no problem. I started actively job searching everyday in December 2011.

Well almost a whole year later, I've had 2 bogus interviews, 1 interview, no call backs and more you're useless or not the candidate we want than anything. It's not like I haven't tried these places multiple times. I've tried everything under the natural sun. It's still not enough. What hurts the most it's like I wanted my time doing the right thing to be a good person. Only to end up kicked in my ass and scolded for doing so.

Now that I sit here. I've applied to places recently and heard nothing back. Even applied to a few places over the course of these past two weeks. Nothing. No information. I can't even get a job working during the holiday season. New President or not. This stems deeper than that. People are being prejudice towards those who are unemployed. I don't know about everybody else. But for me it wasn't a choice. I had to move to a new location for school. I couldn't keep my job. I didn't expect I'd come back home to a mountain of debt, no job and the only help I can get is food stamps. Food I have a problem chewing because my wisdom teeth are infected. I can't get help or care because I don't have a job and I can't afford the $300 a month health insurance.

I get mad, jealous and disgusted. Because if I knew my life would've turned out like this. I would've dropped out of high school and happily found a job doing whatever. No I wouldn't expect to do that forever. But having a job is better than never being able to get one at all.

I feel as if society expects me to be a failure. No matter how hard I try to change that label. They refuse to accept anything else. I get if I want something to go after it and try my best. But I'm doing that now and people are preventing me from moving forward. Don't tell me I'm not applying myself and how I need to grow up and be an adult if you're the same person who refuses to hire me.

You wouldn't tell a little kid to learn to get up after they've fallen once or twice and continuously knock them down to the ground a d scream and shout at them to get up. But as soon as they try to get up, you push them right back to the ground. How can they learn to get up and move forward if you block that right?

It's the same thing.

What frightens me the most is my mom dying. Me not affording to pay the bills and losing the house and being homeless. The sad part is the homeless shelters only take in women who have children and drug addicts. Everyone else isn't allowed help. Just like you've got to be pregnant to receive welfare.

Excuse me for my plans being foiled. And beg my pardon for losing sight on my goals because they can never be fulfilled. Please forgive me when I say I've tried my best. I hope you understand that no I don't know what I want to do, what I want to be or what I expect my life to be in 10+years.

I'm sorry but I'm still desperately seeking for a place to call my own in this world and this life.

On the car ride
home, Tracy told Eva all that had happened. Eva was so pissed that Tracy didn't
want her doing something drastic. Tracy made sure to leave the part about her
and Jake having sex. She didn't want Eva to misjudge her and scold her for
doing something like that.

"Alright. If
you say so." Eva said walking into her house.

"Can I have
something to drink?" Tracy asked.

"Yea you know
where everything is. I'm going to have a shower, no scratch that maybe a bath
instead." Eva said going up the steps

"Okay."

All Tracy could do
was nurse the juice she had and continuously thought of how odd and strange
Jake's behavior was and how he knew so much about everything. What did all this have to do with her, him
and everything else?

After she took a
nice hot shower, she put on her night clothes. As she was combing her hair all
she could do was wonder if she and Jake would able to be a better couple after
all of this was over. Would there be many
other things that would try to tear them apart? As she headed to Eva's room
and climbed in her bed. She noticed from Eva's heavy breathing she was sleep.
Tracy kissed Eva gently on the lips and cuddle close to her. As she was
drifting off to sleep, she also wondered if she could love Eva the same way she
loved Jake. If things didn't work out with Jake or something tore them apart
out of their control. Would she be wrong for wanting to be with Eva? Or was she
getting attached at the wrong time? She let her thoughts get jumbled and carry
her off to dreamland.

"Good
morning!" Eva said as she was working at the stove making breakfast.

"Morning!"
Tracy said as she stretched.

"Do you want
pancakes or waffles?"

"Ohh, how
about both?" Tracy said as she munched on a piece of bacon.

"Both?! Well
I guess it's not that bad."

"Well I am
going to help you know." Tracy giggled.

"Well I know
one thing. I love this good mood you're in."

"Yeah, it
does feel good to be back in a good mood. I guess I'm contented for the
moment."

"That's a
good thing." Eva said grabbing the pancake and waffle mixes out of the
cabinet.

The women heard a
noise come from the front door. They looked and tried to figure out what it
could've been. Eva decided to go back to her cooking, while the curiosity of
the noise got the best of Tracy.

"Good
Morning, Good Morning Divas!" Linda came strutting into the kitchen.

"I thought
that was you with your heavy-foot-self." Eva giggled.

"My man love
my feet and that's all that matters." Linda gave Tracy a hug and a kiss.

"Good Morning
Linda! How are you this morning?" Tracy smiled.

"I'm doing
just fine. You're in an exceptionally good mood today."

"That's what
I said. Are you eating here too?" Eva placed a plate in front of Linda.

"Well if you
insist, I guess I can't turn your good cooking down." Linda gave a big
smile.

"Yeah,
yeah."

"So what had
you all happy and looking like a glow worm?" Linda tickled Tracy's side.

"She got to
see her boyfriend yesterday or should I say last
night. They stayed together for quite a while." Eva winked.

"I'm sorry
but I'll have to agree with Eva on this one." Linda chuckled.

"Ugh! Nothing
like that happened." Tracy blushed at the thought of what she and Jake had
done last night.

"Yeah, I said
the same thing. That's how I ended up with Baby number four."

"Number four?
You only have three." Eva was puzzled.

"Oh my god!
Linda you’re pregnant?!" Tracy's mouth was wide open.

"Yes I am as
a matter of fact." Linda gave a big grin.

"I knew you'd
gain some weight but I wasn't sure. Congratulations Mama," Eva smiled,
"So how far along are you?"

"Twelve
weeks." Linda patted her stomach happily.

"Oohh well
I'm planning the baby shower." Eva said confidently

"Do you know
what you want?" Tracy asked. It was basically her first time having a full
interaction with a pregnant person and one who already had kids.

"Another boy
would be nice. I've already got two girls and one boy. So make it even and I'll
be happy. If not, I'll still be happy. Just as long as the baby is happy and
healthy, that's all I worry about."

"Did you tell
work that you were expecting?" Eva asked as she made pancakes.

"Yes I did.
They said all was fine. I felt there was no need to question and it was the
right thing to do. But we both know how they feel about getting some time off
to have a baby."

"Oh
yeah!" Eva said nodding her head rapidly.

"I remember
my job before the police department, told them I was pregnant with junior. They
said it was fine. Took my maternity leave when I should've, I go back to work
and they not only had they replaced me but forgot
to tell me. Yea right!"

"That's
horrible!" Said Tracy and began to wonder would the same thing happen to
her if she ever had a baby.

"Yeah it was.
So I learned to go back right after the other two were born so I wouldn't get
replaced and fired all in one fell swoop."

"Wow."
Tracy was amazed and disturbed at the thought of such a thing. How can people be so cruel?

"Well a least
you got to keep your husband without any problems or issues. You two make it
work. Y'all make others want to give it another try." Eva smiled.

"Oh
really," Linda smirked, "So who are you hooking up with?"

"No one, I'm
not interested. I meant other people—unlike
me for example."

"Uh-huh, you
say that now Genevieve!"

"Whatever
Linda."

"Alright
ladies, I'm going to go get ready for work." Tracy took her finished plate
to the sink.

"Alright
honey, we've got time so no need to rush ok?" Eva turned off the burner on
the stove.

"Okey
Dokey!"

As the women got
ready for work, Tracy was straightening up and notices the duffle bag Jake had
given her last night. There was a piece of paper sticking up out of the front
unzipped pocket. She took it out and decided to read it. Before she could
finish the first line, her phone began to vibrate. She immediately got that
sour taste and knots in her stomach. She picked up the phone wondering if she
would find another horror. The 53097
message said something strange this time:

"A lover’s quarrel is
the most depressing. That's just the beginning of the unhappiness you'll feel
in your heart."

'What does this mean?' She thought to
herself. Then decided to read the paper that turned out to be written by Jake
and said:

Trace, I know who's been sending you the weird text
messages. Because they think we fought tonight you should get one pertaining to
that. Tracy, someone's been watching you.

"Is that
it?" Tracy looked at the items in her hands and wondered why anybody would
be watching her.

"Tracy! C'mon it’s time to go or we'll be
late!" Eva shouted from down stairs.

Tracy shoved the
paper back in its pocket and put the duffle bag under the bed. She rushed
downstairs and soon the three women were off to work.

As Tracy was leaving
her analytical meeting, she felt like she was running on empty. Even though she
had a good rest and breakfast, maybe it could've been that long meeting. Dazed
thinking about why she felt tired. She suddenly felt someone grab her and
snatch her into a supply closet. Scared to death not sure what to actually do
she wanted to start cry. Maybe I could
yell for help, she thought. But that proved futile with her mouth being
covered. Then for a split second she panicked. Is this Leon? She then started crying at the thought of being
fondled by that pervert again.

"Hey, hey! Shhh!" The man whispered.

Oh my god it is him, she cried that much harder.

The person spun
her around and had her look at them. He shook her a bit but she just couldn't
bring herself to look at him.

"Tracy what's
wrong with you?"

Tracy's eyes
popped open and there stood Jake. All she could do was let out a big sigh of relief;
thankful it wasn't Leon and hugged Jake.

"Hey, now
what's going on?" Jake looked at her sternly.

Tracy sighed,
"I thought you were Leon."

"Jenkins?"

"Yea..."

"What made
you think that? What you and him got a thing going or something?"

"NO! No, nothing like that. He was my
boss when I started as an intern here. But that’s not the reason."

"Then what exactly is the reason?"

Knowing she had
said too much already. Tracy decided to come clean.

"Leon
sexually assaulted me my second day working here. He touched me all over. And
said if I obliged I would get a cut,"
She looked up at Jake, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Eva thought it was
best because she thought you would be upset and come down here. I wasn't
keeping it from you. She also said if I mentioned it, I would probably be
gotten rid of."

"Well I can't
argue with Eva too much there. But I am pissed. Did he touch all over your
body?"

Tracy nodded and
should him where she had been touched.

"BASTARD!"

"Shhh!"

Jake huffed around
the small room and sat down on a chair that was clearly old with ripped
upholstery.

"Jake?"
Tracy could see the frustration on his face.

Jake pulled Tracy
close and buried his face in her stomach. He hugged her tight.

"Tracy, I'm
not mad at you okay? Just mad at the situation," he stood up and hugged
her, "I love you."

"I love you
too. Jake, I read your note about the text messages."

"Yeah about
that—"

"Wait
look," luckily Tracy let her phone tag along, "See here it is."

Jake took her
phone and read the message.

"It's just
like you said."

"I know who's
doing it. But I can’t tell you here. Lord only knows what they've got tapped.
How about this Saturday? You come on over and we’ll have lunch or take out or
something. I'll block their tap to tell you ok."

Jake kissed her
passionately and told her how much he loved and cared for her in her ear. For a
moment Tracy didn't want to leave that supply closet. She wanted to stay there
with Jake, like this—blocking the outside world out. It was bittersweet. It
made her realize how much she truly missed him.

"Hey girlie!
What would you like for lunch? We can't seem to decide." Eva said as she
plopped herself into Tracy's chair.

"Hey you two!
Hmm I don't know. Any ideas?" Tracy said.

"Not a one,
Sweet Revenge is nice but I'm not in the mood today. And I definitely don't do
cafeteria food." Linda said.

"Anybody in
the mood for something particular?" Eva said towards the ceiling.

"Yup, just as
long as there's a place for me to sit and relax for a little bit" Linda
stretched her arms to the air.

"Alright let’s
go!" Tracy actually felt happy. She didn't know if it was because of Jake
or because things were starting to make a little bit more sense.

As the women ate
and conversed. Tracy told Eva and Linda what Jake had said about the text
messages. How she was meeting him on Saturday. The women were happy to get a
little more information on such a plaguing issue.

The rest of the
week went good and Tracy was glad about that. After the end of the work day on
Friday she headed to the elevator all smiles. Right before she could press a
floor number. Jake hurried on. He pressed all the buttons.

"Jake what
did you do that for?"

"I wanted to
at least spend a little bit of time with you, even if it’s so little of
it." He pulled Tracy close and hugged her.

"Well that's
very sweet of you." She smiled.

"We're still
on for tomorrow, right?"

"Yep!"

"Good,"
Jake pulled Tracy in for kiss, "Tracy, I love you."

"I love you
too Jake."

"See you
tomorrow, one o'clock." Jake kissed her cheek.

"One o'clock
indeed." Tracy smiled.

Jake picked a
random floor to get off on. Before he could dash down the hall, Tracy called
out to him and beckoned him to come back.

"What?"
Jake stared into Tracy's eyes.

Tracy hugged him
tight, "I love you very much." Then kissed Jake on the lips.

He smiled, she did
the same. As the elevator doors began to close they waved goodbye to one
another.

Tracy went home to
pick up a few things before going back to Eva's place. While she was there she
saw an old picture of her and Jake and decided to take it with her. As she
spent her Friday evening with Eva and Linda, all she could think about was
seeing Jake tomorrow and finally knowing who's been sending her the texts.

"Excited
about seeing the boyfriend tomorrow?" Linda asked.

"Yeah I am,
but I'm excited to know who's been sending me those texts, too!" Tracy
said as she took a bite of pizza.

"Yeah it'll
be nice to put an end to this mess." Eva said mouth full of food.

"You haven't
change." Linda eyed Eva with disgust.

"What I
do?" Eva wiped her mouth.

"You still
eat like a little piglet and you still talk with your mouth full of food,
porky"

"Oh shut up
Linda!" Eva stuffed her mouth with more food.

Tracy and Linda
laughed at Eva. Tracy was happy she had these two wonderful women in her life.
They made things less lonely and gave her the courage she needed to fight this
battle.

The next morning
Tracy got up early. Bathed and got ready. She decided to have a muffin with
some juice. Since she was having lunch with Jake she didn't want to spoil her
appetite.

"Good
morning!" Eva came in wearing sweats and a long shirt.

"Good
morning." Tracy said as she wiped the counter clean.

"What did you
have?" Eva went to the pantry and grabbed a box of cereal.

When Tracy arrived
at the old apartment, she was happy she didn't have to be buzzed in. As she was
able to catch the door after a couple walked out. She went up to the apartment
and went to knock on the door, when she noticed it was already ajar. She
decided to knock anyway to make sure and not be caught off guard.

"Jake? It's
Tracy!" She called out entering the apartment.

Tracy called his
name a few more times and when he didn't answer she began to wonder if their
plans were canceled and she wasn't aware or something else came up. Then
decided she better have a look around the apartment. As she walked around she
began to notice that things weren't quite right. Objects had been moved or
knocked over. A few things were even broken. Did he have a fight in here?

She looked in the
bathroom which was still intact. Then checked out the other bedrooms; both were
ram-shacked and one looked more terrible than the other. Then Tracy decided to
look in their old bedroom. The room was perfect and usually as it would be
left. She did notice that there was clothes laid out and wondered if Jake left
already or forgot to put them away.

She decided to run
up stairs to the loft they used mostly as a recreational room. It too was
destroyed. She felt a twinge in her heart. Someone
was here. As she ran back down the steps and walked over to the stand that
held the telephone. Tracy noticed that the hardwood floor was discolored like
someone split something and never got it up. As she traced it down the small
hall to the kitchen she saw an odd color liquid. Thinking at first maybe Jake
fell or knocked something over. She braced herself and walked over the trail
and went in to the kitchen. Only to find out there was nothing wrong. No thrown
or moved furniture, cabinets were fine and so was everything else. When she
checked the floor she noticed that there was a pool of the liquid and it seemed
to be coming from the refrigerator. Wondering if the appliance gave out and the
liquids inside soured, exploded or spilled she decided to check it. She grabbed
the handle and opened up the refrigerator—

Tracy screamed at
the horror she had found. Jake's body was dismembered at every limb and shoved
into the refrigerator. She gasped and clasped her hands over her face. Then
realized her hand was covered in blood and she stared at the handle. The
wretched smell and seeing such a horrid sight made her gag and run to the bathroom.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Tracy began
crying after she threw up.

Tracy got herself
off the cold tile floor and wiped her hand on her shirt. She ran to the
telephone. She had to decipher who she wanted to call first. She then decided
that Eva would be best.

As the phone took
long rings, Tracy heard a noise come from the kitchen. She couldn't bring
herself to investigate it and gagged again at the thought of it.

"It's
Jake!" Tracy dropped the phone at just the thought and mention of
his name. A flood of memories came rush to her and all she could think of when
she last saw him yesterday. She could barely hear the muffled sounds coming
from the telephone as she slouched down next to the back of the sofa. This is has got to be nightmare!

Eva arrived with
Linda in tote and rushed to the apartment. When they got up to the place and
noticed the door was cracked.

"Tracy? It's Eva and Linda honey. You in
here? You okay?" Eva slowly opened the door and saw Tracy slouched over by
the sofa, "OH MY GOD TRACY?!" Eva rushed over.

Eva looked at the
blood that stained Tracy's shirt. When she grabbed Tracy and got her attention.
The constant tears that ran down her face were disturbing and heart wrenching.

"Seems like
everything clear in the back besides the rooms that are messed up," Linda
crouched down next to Eva, "Tracy, baby what happened?"

Tracy looked at
the two women and could bring herself to say what she saw. All that could
escape from her mouth was "refrigerator."

"Refrigerator?" Eva and Linda said
at the same time.

The two women
decided to go check out the kitchen. When they reached the hallway, Eva turned
the corner and screamed.

"What?!"
Linda questioned.

"Head..."
Eva began to cry.

"Head?" Linda pushed passed Eva and
stared in horror.

There sat
comfortably on the linoleum floor was Jake's severed head, still bleeding. The
eyes were gouged out. The mouth was sewn together with thick black string. It
was reminiscent of the picture of the beheaded woman Tracy got in a text
message.

Linda walked over
to the fridge and saw the rest of Jake's dismembered body.

"Oh my god!
They even disemboweled him." Linda covered her nose.

When Linda took
her hand off of the handle and noticed the blood, she knew then that's where
Tracy got the streaked blood from her shirt.

Linda called the police.
When the police finally arrived, Eva stood outside of the apartment, smoking a
cigarette. Her hands and whole body shook uncontrollably. The police entered
the apartment and saw Tracy slumped over and still crying.

"What exactly
happened here?" The one officer said.

Linda stood up and
introduced herself to the policemen. She took them to the kitchen and showed
them Jake's dismembered body. The police called for back-up and the coroner.

The one police
officer went to bedroom where the women had gathered while they investigated
the apartment.

"I'm sorry
and I hate to say this. But I'm going to have to have all three of you come
downtown with me. This looks suspicious and I'm not blaming you totally because
whoever did so has done this before. Either that or we’re dealing with a
professional. We just need to take the necessary precautions." He said.