Privacy in relationships. Would you let your partner go through your phone?

I have never had an issue with someone that I'm dating or in a relationship with who wanted access to everything nor have I ever wanted access, so this concept is new to me. However, one of my couple friends allows each other to go through each other's phones as a "check up." Seems very distrustful to me. Would you do it?

Yes, it is their right in a relationship to have access to everything concerning you

Most Helpful Guy

It's a matter of principle. If the purpose is specifically to check and see if I'm hiding something, then no you can't use my phone. That's just disrespectful. If it's just because you need to use it for something, no problem.

I use my phone for little more than phone calls and checking my bank balance, but if someone wants to go through my phone with the intent to see if I'm doing something behind their backs, that's just tacky.

1

1|0

0|0

Most Helpful Girl

There should be nothing on your phone worth hiding in the first place. That being said, I don't expect my partner to be insecure/immature enough to feel the need to look through my phone. If sthey have any issues they should be able to just ask me a question, not resort to spy tactics. I had that experience and it was annoying as hell.

Totally faithful, totally trustworthy and 100% transparent, yet due to his own uncalled-for insecurity he always bothered me and made me feel bad if I even spoke to a guy. It got so bad he would look through my phone/social media... find nothing, then try to add on extra meaning to messages that were completely normal. People that paranoid need time to learn what trust is. I tried hard to deal with this as well as many other insecurity related issues until I couldn't handle it... and decided to give him a forever break.

What Guys Said 19

It depends, if they are actively checking up on me all the time then no, I would not allow them to and if they insisted I would break up. However if they just want to borrow my phone or are bored and want to look through it then fine, I have nothing to hide. I have no problem with them knowing things about me, they are my (well at this point hypothetical) partner and that should be something that I and they should be comfortable with. IF however it becomes an issue of them not trusting me, they get one free look then if they continue to try and check up on me I would stop them, either they trust me or the relationship is done.

Hard to imagine. If I were dating someone and she suggested that she wanted to see what I have on my phone, it would be the last conversation we would ever have. I would say "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. I'm afraid this is not going to work."

No. I have sensitive customer information in my phone which I am obligated by non-disclosure agreements to keep from others. If a partner was so insistent or insecure about our relationship that she felt she needed to look through mine, then she would need to find someone else. And the reverse is true. I would not except nor desire to look through hers, either.

What Girls Said 22

I wouldn’t want my partner to “snoop” through my phone, but he is free to borrow it and look at it at he pleases. I have nothing to hide and we’re both very trusting with our phones and laptops. I think it’s wring to snoop, but equally wrong to keep secrets.

If you are in a relationship you should have nothing to hide period. You need to be an open book. On the other hand, if you are constantly digging and searching for a fuck up that is a red flag of something on it's own. That signals another underlining problem in the relationship

Yes, who cares? I say if I ask to look at your phone then you have something to hide. I never had a problem with a guy looking at my messages. I know people say that 'Well, that just means you don't trust me.' Honestly, if your SO wants to look at your phone, then you are probably doing something to cause them to mistrust you so you should ask what it is instead of get defensive. Defensive people tend to be guilty.

A guy I was seeing did that which really p***** me off tbh. If we were official then sure why not, but until then back up!!

0

0|0

0|0

Anonymous

There isn't a point. You can agree to allow each other to go through each other's phones but if one is hiding something they can just delete it. I've been with my guy 7 years. We don't even talk about it. Sometimes he will say hey get that for me or what does the text say but we aren't obsessing over going through each other's phones because that isn't going to stop anything.

0

0|0

0|0

Click "Show More" for your mentions

Home > Relationships > Privacy in relationships. Would you let your partner go through your phone?