The wife of Chris Martin and close friend of Beyonce Knowles Carter, actress Gwyneth Paltrow, is being transparent about motherhood. Specifically, conceiving. In a recent interview with The Mail on Sunday’s You magazine, the mother of two (she has an 8-year-old daughter named Apple and 6-year-old son named Moses) reveals that she had a miscarriage.

“I had a really bad experience when I was pregnant with my third. It didn’t work out and I nearly died. My children ask me to have a baby all the time. And you never know, I could squeeze one more in. I am missing my third. I’m thinking about it. I am like, ‘Are we good here or should we go back and try again?'”

She continued:

“Regardless of what happens in our marriage, I chose the best father. He is so good to the children, and to know that you had kids with such a good man is like a real weight off you. We are committed co-parents, we make all the decisions together and we lean on each other for support as well.”