Shoot- I'm leaving tomorrow!

I am leaving for a another 28 day stay at another place!!!! This one will be better, they'll be able to treat medical problems- like fainting! My kids can't stand me, my husband is ready for a divorce and my life is completely out of control, out of my hands.
Going away once, understandable, people may have been sympathetic. Twice, I'm a wreck! I am so alone! I'm mildew! I'm leaving tomorrow at 10am. Any words of wisdom will be cherished, I may not be able to get near a computer. Love, Love, Love to all! I miss you already!!!!!-Alyssa

Your husband LOVES you - he just can't figure out how to fix you...thing is? It's not his job to fix you. That's your job. He's frustrated. Pretty normal emotion when you love someone. If he didn't love you? He would feel nothing. So take that thought with you when you go.

Your children are children. They have the coping skills of people their age. They have no idea what is going on. Mommies are supposed to be like they see in books. They don't read fairy tales to kids where the Mom has anorexia and the house is in chaos. It pisses them off. It makes them angry. They deserve to feel like they do. They WANT normal. They're kids. They'll need their own counseling to deal with this and that will help them, but the BIGGEST thing to help them because you do love them? Is to take care of yourself.

YOU have the biggest burden here of all - the hardest mountain to climb, the biggest demon to put away. You need to look at this mountain and make it YOUR STEPPING STONE. YOU NEED TO just wake up every day and just bless your day with whatever you ARE grateful for - praise and positive attitudes are no place for negative feelings and it will keep those things from you. Just open your eyes every morning and say - "I'm thankful for that ceiling, this bed, that curtain, my slippers, this window, that tree...and keep it up all day long....and then when you feel ugly coming in? Start it ALL over again.....I'm thankful for this door, that person, my hands.....this chair.....my legs....my eyes that see, my ears that hear."

YOU STAY POSITIVE kiddo.......YOU HEAR ME!!!!????

I love you, I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!! I WANT 105!!!!! baby! .....pft.....
(I CANT HEAR YOU!!!!!lalalalala............WHAT ?????? YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR YOUR computer, your screen, your eyes? your keyboard, your goofy friends, and me???? Ahhhhh you are getting it? Youre thankful for the snow, the sidewalk, the birds that are singing, the car, the ice, the blue in the sky? YOU GO GIRL!)

Hi!!! Star and everyone! Thank you for your words of wisdom! You are the best! Thank you for being there for me, I am really doing well here. This is my chance and I'm grateful for it. I can get to a computer once in a while, I'll check in.-Alyssa

I'm very glad you took such a scary step and did this move for yourself. If I had a wish for you right now it would be that while you are where you are YOU would discover how wonderful, funny, intelligent, giving, caring, beautiful, special, loving, compassionate, occasionally silly and creative you are. Use this time to find out what you are made out of. If you look at it from my perspective? You have an opportunity that few others have or will have in a lifetime. A chance to spend time on nothing else BUT yourself to sort things out while everything else around you is managed, and handled.

I told you - husband - very capable of feeding himself and the children. Children? OMG if they had it their way? They'd eat cereal and McDonalds, pizza and poptarts anyway - so this IS their vacation. Everything else can be worked out later, but right now? It's Alyssa time. This is a gift like no other in the world that is being given to you, and I hope with all my heart that you take advantage of every second to take care of you.

Really grasp that this world has millions and millions of people....but only one Alyssa, and she's loved, and cared about very much. Not only that, but she's needed. She has a purpose, and true-the world would go on without her...but it would go on so much more sweetly with her.