4.25.2005

I have been studying a lot of art history and it has led me into a lot of other fields, made me ask questions, try and find answers which i must say have come to me in the strangest way ever!

for the last 6 months i have been dwelling on Lord Shiva, his forms, the places of worship, the characterestics of his temples ... well just about everything. I have noticed that just one things kept constantly coming back to me, and this was the basic yantra which defines everything, centrally the energy center for shiva. This caught my eye for a very long while and i just found myself at a dead end waiting for something to happen in reality, for me to see what all this was about. This research into Hinduism and to a certain extent "magic" if i can call it has led me to do and believe many things which are normally not expected of a city bred woman.

For one, I have realized a few things about this great society we live in, i have figured how happy they are to live in a make belief world where there are no troubles.... strange isnt it, how can you not have trouble, and why hope for a trouble free life where everything comes easy! trouble defines that circumstance that comes into your life which you certainly do not accept. Its the non acceptance(personally or socially) of it that leads it to be defined as trouble.

Second, the average man on the street is not willing to experiment more than he needs to with his faith. My father and a few other oldies in my family are not exactly sure that what am going into is the best for me. but fear rules them and i think thats what their down fall/ignnorance is all about. they will never get it. religion doesnt stop with going to a temple, you have not even scratched the iceberg of potency of faith if you think its enough to just display your so called religiousness, or know a few stories from mythology.

Thirdly, this religion has been tested by time, its lasted everything, obviously people were not dumb to just sit around carving rock all across the countryside, spreading a faith! somethings just never changed through the ages... thats what is our culture. The gods remained the same, those associated with the gods remained the same, the actions of ritual associated with the gods remained the same. look around you and you will know the next time you see a stelae with two entwined snakes carved into it, that ancient schools of thought are just a foot away from you, just silent, waiting for you to realize them...

All this starts with the complete faith and knowledge of yantras which are the stepping stone towards finding out more... of course you dont go about getting one until you are initiated.. and initiation is not an easy task. its meant for those who are mentally eligible for it. Am sure this flew above your head.. i know..lets leave it here, beyond this .. i cannot explain.

4.16.2005

The misconception to Tantrik cults in India is that it appears to be an orgy of sorts. The other biased opinion is that sex is wrong or bad. A good question would be "Why"? Its definite that those higher up in the social ladder have had extremely biased opinions and that definitely has trickled down to the masses over time.

The actual truth of it is this. Tantra is a version of the AtharvaVeda. It prescribes various rituals to one of the many activities of man in a day - sex. Whats wrong with that and why consider it bad? Tantrik cults have prevailed across india everywhere. The khajurao and konark temples speak for it so do the temples in the south, though not as explicite.

Why is sex important, or is it the lack of it that makes people commercialize something so sacred into an element of shock or silent delight? Why dilute the potency of the act or ritual? These texts help a human being attain a higher goal through sadhana and rituals which need to be performed with the right thought and respect. It was never simple, and living in a superficial world only dilutes the entire act to a mere performance with results that are satisfactory, leaving one to just imagine what the real thing would be like. Not that i know it, but i believe there is more to it than what meets the eye.

We cannot dismiss something that we fail to understand the first time and stupidity. You need to have patience, for the subtle world is not so easy to understand. No wonder its called "Subtle".

Temples at best can depict concepts at various levels of potency and its up to the aspirant to really try and understand it. What appears as a grose act on the walls of Khajuraho, actually hides something far more potent within its sculptures and people in their limited thoughts just think it stops with sex! These are tantrik diagrams, or yantras which are best understood only be the initiated and are meant only for them. The rest of the superficial guys can quite go fly a kite!

These temples depicted a way of life, whether it is the depiction of a devotee in the act of decapitation or whether its a human sacrifice on full moon night, whether its the worship of the Mother or whether its the fear of Kali, whether its an act of copulation or whether its a sensuous kanya entising a man to enter the temple walls, it has value and that is meant to be respected, not ridiculed. The temples silently tell us through their walls, that there is a world out there beyond our senses and we are quite wasting our time if we do not attempt finding it out.

Living the "real way" was never so simple, so the next time you head to the temple, ask yourself whether it stops with that, or whether you really want to know what the temple has to offer. Clarity come when you open yourself to receive it, till then... you wait.