Remember about "didn't hear any complaints": The vast majority of people are not going to complain to you.

I didn't mean just directly to me. I was also referring to the grape vine. And trust me, there were people who complained about this, that, or the other. Some directly to me others to their friends or the MOB, and it eventually got to me. Most were nit-picky little things, or that we didn't have a "traditional afternoon tea" styled shower. Which of course...I didn't know was traditional and also the bride attended one for someone else and told me point blank it was the most boring even she'd attended. I also received complaints that the invitations were green. Green was not a very girly color. Green is the bride's favorite color and was a wedding color though. We had a sock hop styled shower, because the bride loves the 50s/60s and it was fun. But I still think if the registry cards had upset someone, I would've heard about it. I got a complaint, to my face, that we served a square cake when we should've served a round one. I swear some people will complain if you give them water after they told you they were thirsty.

I don't think there is any difference between putting registry info on the invitation or on a separate card. Sure, there could be convenience factors, whether or not you can fit all the information on the invite, whether you want to save a tree by not printing up addition stuff. However, in terms of etiquette, they are no different IMO. And I agree that is is perfectly acceptable to include that information in a shower invitation, because that is the express purpose of a shower. I would find it insufferably coy if I received a shower invite without it. So you want me to come and buy you a present, and now I have to pry it out of you where you're registered? I am not the best, most creative gift-giver, and I do not want to spend an entire Saturday shopping for just the right gift. I love registries! I especially love the ones with a lot of stuff on them, so I can pick out something I really like.

Remember about "didn't hear any complaints": The vast majority of people are not going to complain to you.

I didn't mean just directly to me. I was also referring to the grape vine. And trust me, there were people who complained about this, that, or the other. Some directly to me others to their friends or the MOB, and it eventually got to me. Most were nit-picky little things, or that we didn't have a "traditional afternoon tea" styled shower. Which of course...I didn't know was traditional and also the bride attended one for someone else and told me point blank it was the most boring even she'd attended. I also received complaints that the invitations were green. Green was not a very girly color. Green is the bride's favorite color and was a wedding color though. We had a sock hop styled shower, because the bride loves the 50s/60s and it was fun. But I still think if the registry cards had upset someone, I would've heard about it. I got a complaint, to my face, that we served a square cake when we should've served a round one. I swear some people will complain if you give them water after they told you they were thirsty.

Yeah, it's valuable to have a way to be plugged into the grapevine!

And if you heard that sort of stuff, then someone smart close to you would have given you a hint if the registry cards were a big problem.

What I hear through the grapevine from the Aunt Mafia is that they *like* the registry. They're giving at least $70 worth of stuff, often more, and they don't want to take the slightest chance that this economic power would be wasted.

Someone might end up not liking that blender they chose after all, but at least the givers in my circles are happy that THEY didn't waste the money.

I agree that etiquette-wise, technically, there's no difference if it's on a card or on the invitation itself. But I think the -effect- of putting it on a card is that it seems like an afterthought, a side message.

So you want me to come and buy you a present, and now I have to pry it out of you where you're registered?

No, this is not correct.

It should be: "So, you want me to come and buy our mutual friend a present, and now I have to pry it out of you where she is registered?"

The gift recipient is not involved in the invitation. She's not inviting you; she's not sending you (or not sending you) the registry info. The hostess is. I think it's important that this wording be correct.

And, that bolded part is the -only- reason it's acceptable to include the registry info. Because it would be really rude of someone to invite you to give them a present.

Like you, I too prefer to get the info right away. It's just much easier on everyone. If I want to ignore the registry (which I often do), I can do that without any help at all.

Then again, the time that I had to call to get registry info, I got an opportunity to talk to my aunt again! Which I don't often do.

Thank you all for the insights! Glitter, I am DYING at the "complaints" about the shower; if green isn't girly enough for them and it must be a tea party, wonder what they'd think of this teal & brown, coffee-themed brunch?

As far as the timeline for mailing them, I do keep forgetting that it's the END of June; in my head, it's simply 'the shower is in June, must mail them in May'. While I don't want to send them so early they forget, June is when vacations begin and I do want to get on the calendar before then.

Maybe I should just send STD's for the shower? (yes, massively kidding!)

UGGGGHHHH; so now my "all-knowing" mother is convinced that I should be sending the invitations out at the beginning of May. Because people WORK! They need to get the time off! 4 weeks MAY CUT IT TOO SHORT!!!