Case Number 06480

CLONUS

The Charge

Attack of the clones.

Opening Statement

Mondo Macabro, the studio that lays claim to "The Wild Side of World
Cinema," unleashes this 1979 thriller about a secret government cloning
operation that farms spare parts for important people. Is Clonus (a.k.a.
The Clonus Horror, a.k.a. Parts) worth your valuable time? (See,
if you had a clone, you could watch this movie while he or she goes to work --
not a bad idea, Clonus! Not bad at all!)

Facts of the Case

There's something fishy going on in the San Fernando valley.

A top-secret government facility is teeming with idiot savants running
around in Adidas sweatsuits. Wide-eyed and dreaming of the promise of the
mystical place called "America," these folks frolic and work out until
they are deemed ready to make the journey. Little do they know they're all
clones of the rich and powerful movers and shakers in the real America, and when
they come of age they'll be ushered into cold storage and used for organ
harvesting.

One of the major players in on the secret is Jeffrey Knight (Peter Graves,
Airplane!), a senator aspiring to be president. His brother, Richard
Knight (David Hooks), is of a more ethical persuasion and is appalled when he
discovers the Clonus operation. In fact, he's introduced to the facility through
his own clone, Richard Jr. (Tim Donnelly), who has escaped Clonus after
discovering the truth. Now the big shots that run the operation are after their
fugitive clone, and suddenly everyone who is sucked into the truth is equally at
risk.

The Evidence

Mondo Macabro is an excellent distribution company, able to drum up some of
the wackier films that may have slipped through the cracks, remaster them
superbly, and pin some substantial extras on the disc. The company's synopsis
writing could use a little work, though. I submit Exhibit A, from the back of
the Clonus case:

"Peter Graves and Hollywood legend Keenan Wynn star in this dazzling
political thriller that works equally well as a pulse-pounding horror film,
packed with moments of jaw-dropping terror."

Hey, Mondo Macabro synopsis-writing guy -- cut back on the Trix!

Over-the-top adjectives aside, Clonus is not a horror film and, apart
from a brief scene of a clone getting her head buzz-sawed, there are really no
moments of "jaw-dropping terror." The reason I bring this up is not to
criticize the quality of the movie. Actually, Clonus is pretty good, but
if you're going in expecting a horror flick you won't leave satiated. It's more
like a political mystery/chase film/sci-fi/expanded Twilight Zone
episode/cautionary tale/social commentary cocktail. There is of course the tasty
irony of the movie: Made in 1979, its "far-fetched" topic is a
centerpiece of bioethical debate these days. While I'm sure no one would be
audacious enough to say that we're a few steps away from farming human beings,
hanging them in a meat locker, and playing "Operation" with their
internal organs, never before has the planet been this close to the technology
to artificially recreate humans.

Director Robert S. Fiveson embraces the moral quagmire. When the Knight
brothers have at it about the pros and cons of cloning for spare parts (pro =
live forever; con = the wholesale slaughter of innocents), Fiveson hits upon
many of the buzzwords and dilemmas in today's dialogue -- are clones human?
Isn't it worth it to extend the lives of great men and women? And wouldn't it be
cool to have a bunch of friends to play Scrabble with?

Don't worry, though, the movie is not an exercise in proselytizing. What
moves Clonus along is the chase aspect of the film. It doesn't take
Richard Jr., our clone protagonist, long to discover who he is and what his
unsavory purpose in life is. And when he enjoys a roll in the hay with his
bodacious clone girlfriend (it's obvious that the scientists are genetically
engineering huge breasts for the females, perhaps just to keep the security
personnel awake) and strikes up a relationship, his humanity is suddenly stark,
no matter what those heartless Clonus bastards think.

The evasion of said bastards and the unveiling of the conspiracy is the meat
and potatoes of the film, and Fiveson pulls it off well. Clonus isn't a
balls-out action film, but the acting and pacing were executed solidly enough to
keep me engaged. The final two-thirds is really one large pursuit scene, taking
a break solely for some exposition and the aforementioned morality
discussion.

The transfer, in 1.66:1 anamorphic widescreen, is gorgeous. Aside from a few
sporadic flaws, the video is sharp and pristine. The Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo is
adequate enough, though the audio mix could have benefited greatly from an
aggressive LFE.

While there are fewer extras here than Mondo Macabro usually supplements its
releases with, what is available is substantial, though director-centric.
Fiveson delivers an audio commentary, which is really a question and answer
session with a poorly miked interviewer while the movie runs; it's unorthodox,
but insightful. An interview with Fiveson is exhaustive. If you're struggling
with you college term paper on the life of Robert S. Fiveson, this feature is
all you need. Trailers finish off the package.

Closing Statement

Clonus isn't a lot of things. It's not a horror film or an
action-packed sci-fi adventure or a whiz-bang narrative of political
manipulation. It's not a pogo stick or an aardvark either. Where I'm going with
this, I have no idea. Just that I think Clonus is a pretty decent
movie.

The Verdict

The accused is released. And so is the clone of the accused. And so is the
clone of the clone of the accused. And so is the clone of the clone of the clone
of the accused. And so is the clone of the clone of the clone of the clone of
the accused. And so is the clone of the clone of the clone of the clone of the
clone of the accused.