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It’s that moment when I’ve stepped into 2012 quietly…and am more excited than I’ve been in years. The last time I can recall feeling so quietly elated was when I knew I was months away from meeting my little Ethan almost 10 years ago.

I’ve been a joy-filled person since I was a little girl…and while some things over the years ripped the joy out of me (some by my own doing), it’s been fully restored. God is good – and while the blessings He’s giving me right now are so much more meaningful than any words I could pen, I can share this…

These four people right here are my truly my favorite people to spend time with. They bring a smile to my face, communicate from the heart, they serve those around them, they listen, they’re respectful, they’re best friends, they DREAM and most importantly, they live lives that honor the Lord. It’s been said that they’re “too nice”…”too loving”… “they hug too much”… I assure you, I wouldn’t want them any other way. It’s who they are – all with hearts that yearn to make a difference, bring smiles to little faces, cause a crying baby to giggle…. God blessed me with the opportunity of bringing up these three young men and a little lady.

Jonathon, Tyler, Lauren and Ethan – THANK YOU – for the endless supply of grace you offer me and for being so willing to stand tall when you could have easily made excuses to fall. I’m honored to be your Mom!

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I’ve come to realize that it’s this “pointless drama” that is NECESSARY in order to see who and what are important! I’m blessed to have true friends who encourage, uplift, that are genuine and unpretentious…they are rare indeed!
My prayer is to be THIS FRIEND to others….

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I love Facebook – this is no surprise to anyone who knows me. I also, love food – this too, is no surprise to anyone who knows me. That being said, I’m not a fan of giving up either one of those. Over the past couple of weeks, my heart has been stirred that those two things are far too high on my priority list….and if you know me, then you’ll know when my heart is stirred, its my call to action.

When I was just weeks away from turning 30 (that’s almost 8 years ago…ugh), I recall feeling a similar stir. I was 243 pounds and completely unhappy with myself inside and out. I was glutinous, unhealthy and my self-image was living in the sewer. I knew that I needed to make a serious life change and began listening more to what God was saying and talking less about how awful I felt. I was introduced to something that dramatically changed my life…the art of discipline, learning about food, focusing on intake, and tracking what I’m actually putting into my mouth….I REFUSED to deviate from what I was asked to do – I was focused as though I was a contestant on the Biggest Loser – and I WON! Over the course of a year, I had dropped almost 100 pounds, and I felt fantastic on the inside and liked what I saw on the outside. My heart was stirred, and I showed up to work!

Today, I’ve put back on 50 of those pounds….and I’ve also adopted a social habit (addiction works too) that takes FAR TOO MUCH of my precious time. In the safe world I once lived in that I closed everyone out of – I would NEVER admit to either of those weaknesses. But, I gave up that life and have chosen that regardless of the judgement passed, criticism or the skeptical folks who toss doubt, I’m all in. God’s stirred my heart…I must react.

I really enjoy the comfort of keeping my weakness to myself – it’s a nice buffer that allows me to fail in silence…..after all, if I don’t tell anyone then no one will know, right? Maybe, just maybe, my “fanatical” action of saying goodbye to Facebook for a while and working my rear-end off to track every bite I eat while maintaining my daily routine at the gym will be that stirring that God asked me to record here, so I could give Him the praise when I succeed!!

It’s kind of funny how things happen….when I woke up this morning, I wouldn’t have expected to have the perspective that I do right now. I’m remarkably full of thanksgiving (I’m not talking turkey dinner) and refreshed to know that lifelong bonds are still alive and well in our world today.

Friendship is complicated isn’t it!?! It doesn’t really seem like it should be but then again – it’s relational and with relationships comes an unspoken, in-depth complexity. It requires a level of vulnerability and transparency that I’ve found isn’t as natural for some as others. TRUE friendship doesn’t have time constraints either…..

Denise and I have been friends for YEARS…I’m 37 years old and I have pictures of us together at my 13th bday slumber party at our little apartment on Ross Circle in San Jose, CA. That’s 24 years – at least! We were very close in high school – super close – and Denise was as loyal as they come folks! She stood by me when others wouldn’t, she held my hand, got in my face, set me straight and loved me when I was unlovable! I was so self absorbed “back in the day” that I basically walked away from the friendship because I was on to “new and different” things and people. I see now that I was a LOUSY friend and it also highlighted a terrible character flaw I’ve battled with throughout my life – Selfishness.

YEARS have passed and A LOT has happened in my life during those years – a marriage, two out-of-state moves, having #myfabfour, a divorce, failed relationship, floundering, complete surrender to God, finding my soulmate – to name a select few of the “majors”… through all of those “majors” God’s voice continually spoke to me whether I was experiencing a peak or a valley…the same message rang through my stubborn selfish ears – “serve others, love others, be a loyal friend, follow-through – I’ll take care of your desires Cyndi, you fulfill mine.” I admit, that message didn’t always set well but has proven to be just what GOD KNEW I needed in order to become what HE needed….

Fast forward to today; Denise called me. We shared, talked, laughed and (no surprise to some) I cried tears of joy. Denise is still that loyal friend I’ve always known. Sure, she’s gone through her life and grown through her “majors”, but there she was after all of this time with the open selfless heart she consistently demonstrated to me through my childhood. All I could ponder following the call was, “wow…God knew I couldn’t appreciate the genuine character of this woman the way He wants me to, without going through my “majors” to know what unselfishness looks like.” Thus, my feeling of thanksgiving.

Denise sent me a message moments after our call and a portion of it read…”I feel like rather than calling this a renewed friendship it’s more like that was part one (childhood) and this is the beginning of part two (adulthood) and the middle was just us growing into the people we are”

It’s clear to me yet again that in GOOD OR BAD, HAPPY OR SAD, God has our plan specifically laid out to make us who we are and who we will become….from our childhood to our adulthood.

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Over and over, I’ve said to myself “you need to start a blog.” Today’s the day! It’s one thing to write down everything about me, my life, my kids, my relationship, my family….and get stuck in the “I, I, I’s” of life…..my desire here, is different. It’s about US…..you, the reader and me on a journey together. I have no idea where we’re heading either – just jumping in and taking off. In order to journey together, I’m going to safely say we should probably become acquainted – which means for JUST TODAY, I’m going to flood you with the “I’s”……. I desire to be used by God to bless people – I’m a Mom of four whom I refer to as #myfabfour (on Twitter) – I’m in love with a man who’s daily reminding me that I’m blessed beyond my wildest dreams – My Mom is my hero – I’m passionate in all I do – I jump in – dive deep – get real – despise unnecessary drama – wish everyone well – hurt for the hurting – pray for the sick – laugh with the happy – cry with those who are mourning – dream with dreamers – understand pain & heartache – desire to make a difference – encourage strangers – love all walks of life – hope to inspire – love to laugh – will earn your trust – am honest to a fault – I’m stubborn – I like things my way – I’m a control freak – I’m learning to surrender – I’m easily flustered – I’m witty – I like to sing – I can’t dance but like to – I love music…and rap is music – I love food – I’ve struggled with weight my whole life – I’m loyal – I’m a real friend – My kids love me – my friends count on me – I’ve been betrayed – I’ve tried and failed – I’m a hopeless romantic – I’m old fashioned – I live to serve those I love – I want to help everyone – I like a tidy house – I’m anal about some things – I like coffee – I get headaches – I cry with people I trust – I’m not very quiet – I like wearing hats – I like demin- I LOVE football – I heart the Oregon Ducks – My favorite NFL team – New England Patriots – New fan of the Lakers – I fly flags outside of my house – I grow trees when I’m talking with those closest to me – I’m in love – I’m happy – I’m focused – I’m determined to make something of myself – I want to help people see their dreams become reality – I wont’ quit – I love social media – I represent people on Twitter & FB – I HATE being taken advantage of – I’m easily taken advantage of – I ramble….can you tell!?! I’m certain I left some things out – but you get the gist! Here I am world – and I’m going to share life with whomever wants to come aboard! :0) WELCOME!!! Until next time – socialcyndi