1Disclaimer:
This fic contains spoilers. I do not own any of the characters used
in this fic. I merely borrow from the master (i.e. Tom Fontana).

Gloria
looked at the clock above her desk, 12:15 a.m., Cyril had been dead
for fifteen minutes. Poor Cyril. So sweet, so childlike. It was hard
for her to believe that he had once been a man, mentally as well as
physically.

Ryan
had never talked about Cyril as he had been before his injury. Maybe
he would if she asked, but she never had. She wondered what kind of
man he had been. She knew he and Ryan had been in a gang together,
but that was all she knew of Cyril O'Reily before his accident.
Perhaps he had been a man like Ryan, so cool and confident, so strong
and ready. Was he as charming as Ryan? She smiled then, no one could
be as charming as Ryan. It was so strange to try and think of Cyril
as a man, for she had only known him as a child. A beautiful,
frightened child.

She
could not hate him for what he had done. She had tried, but it was in
vain. And now he was dead, and she found herself grieving for him.
Her heart ached as she thought of what Ryan must be feeling right
now. She wanted to be there for him, she wanted to comfort him, she
wanted to be close to him. She always wanted to be close to him, but
now more than ever. She loved him, and now was the time to show it.

She
called Tim and asked him to send Ryan to the ward. He told her that
he was in the gym, walking the maze. She was surprised that she
didn't have to fight for the information. Maybe Tim understood how
badly she needed this, how badly she needed Ryan. Maybe he was just
tired of fighting the inevitable.

Gloria
tried to think of what to say as she walked to the gym. As she got
closer she started to panic a bit. What if Ryan didn't want to see
her? What if he just wanted to be alone? What if losing Cyril meant
losing all that was good inside him? What made him able to love her.
She realized how much she wanted Ryan to want her. How much she
needed him to need her. It would break her if he sent her away.

She
took a deep breath as she walked into the gym. She had never seen
Ryan as he looked then. He looked like a lost little boy. He just
stared as she approached him, not moving. She placed her hands on his
face, that beautiful face. He made no move to touch her, he just
looked into her eyes as she caressed his face. She prayed a silent
prayer that this had not been a mistake, that she was right in coming
here.

She
kissed him then. She felt her own eyes overflow as she tasted his
tears on her mouth. She felt her heart overflow as she felt him kiss
her back. This is what she had been hoping for, this is what she had
been waiting for. She never imagined it could be like this, and yet
she always knew it would be. He loved her and she loved him, they
should be together like this. She pulled away and looked into those
green eyes. He lifted his hand and placed it against her cheek. She
pressed it to her mouth, her eyes never leaving his.

She
wanted to be closer, she wanted to be as close as possible. She could
never be close enough. "Do you want to go somewhere with me?" She
couldn't believe how intense his gaze was. He nodded, still not
saying a word.

She
explained to the guard that she was taking him to the ward, he needed
to rest away from Em city. She didn't like having to lie,
especially since rest was the last thing she had in mind. But she had
lied for Ryan many times before, and she knew that she would many
times to come.

The
ward was blessedly empty for once. She led him into the private
examination room and closed the door behind them. She remembered
standing here when Ryan asked her to help him and Cyril escape. Maybe
she had been wrong to refuse. Maybe she should have said yes. But it
didn't matter now, she had made her choices, they all had.

She
had no idea what was going through Ryan's mind right now. She had
never seen him so silent, so still. He was always so vibrant, seeming
to radiate brilliant energy. She could only hope that the Ryan she
adored would return eventually, at least in part. She wanted to bring
him back to her, she wanted him to want to come back for her.

He
smiled at her, she thought her heart would burst out of her chest.
She could have sworn that she saw a shadow of that old fire cross his
face, but she couldn't be sure.

"So,
what do we do now?"

Gloria
smiled, it was a good question. She wasn't sure what Ryan wanted
from her right now. She wanted to comfort him, for him to find
comfort in her, whatever that meant. She wanted him, all of him, she
had been waiting for too long. A feeling of guilt washed over her.
Cyril had been dead less than an hour, and all she could think about
was making love with Ryan in her hospital ward. Wether Ryan was ready
for that right now she didn't know. But she was. She had been ready
for a long time. But whatever he asked of her was what she would
give. Every part of her already belonged to him, it was just a matter
of him staking his claim.

She
walked to him and took his hands in hers. "I just want to be near
you, Ryan." He looked at her, long and deep. She thought she could
see the heat in his eyes, or was it only a reflection of her own?

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