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Over the long MLK weekend a couple friends and I decided to head to Bend to continue my birthday celebrations and explore Bend in the winter time. One of my friends grew up in the town and knew all the best places to go. We mostly drank enough beer to sink a ship (Bend has a crazy amount of breweries) but we also walked all around downtown and got to see a free concert on Friday night! I equate Bend to a Mary Kate and Ashley movie (the one where they go to the ski resort town) because everyone was decked out in ski gear, fresh off the mountain and ready to party. It was everything you could hope for in a smaller mountain town.

Here's how the weekend went down:

We started the drive by going through Mount Hood, which is always a little sketchy due to ice, but beautiful nonetheless. It was a straight up wintery wonderland out there!

Then things got even more sketchy when we had 0 visibility on the other side of the mountain. We were all cheering that we had made it down the mountain safely when up ahead we saw this thick blanket of fog awaiting us. My friend drove like a pro and we made it through but it was definitely hairy there for a minute (or 20).

Once we had made it safely to my friend's moms house, we dropped our things and headed into downtown. I proceeded to make a fool of myself and take photos like this. After quite a few hours of driving, I was excited to be stretching my legs. We went to 10 Barrel Brewing and Bend Brewing Company (SUCH good nachos!!) that night and finished the night at a bar where all the locals go.

The next day we rolled out of bed and headed to Smith Rock State Park. If you haven't been, drop what you're doing and make some plans now! This place was beautiful and I can't wait to go back once the weather gets nicer and actually hike it. The sun peeked out for a minute while we were there and I was very grateful.

We ended the day by walking along the Deschutes river in the old mill district and it turned into a beautiful but chilly day. We stopped at Cascade Lake Brewing to watch the first NFL playoff game and then went to a sports bar to watch the second game. Honestly this day contained all of my favorite qualities to a day: friends, football, hiking, exploring a beautiful town, a little shopping, some coffee and beer and a cloudy blue sky. :)

On my list for next time is to ski Mount Bachelor at some point and in the summer, I want to tube down the Deschutes and hike Smith Rock.

2. Move to a place
that always felt right and what do you know, it feels like home.

3. If you follow God’s
plan everything works out perfectly.

4. True friendships
make themselves known and stick around.

5. “Don’t be scared to
walk alone. Don’t be scared to like it.” –John Mayer

6. Go listen to that
band, eat at that restaurant or see that movie even if no one else wants to go
with you. Don’t wait around.

7. EXPLORE.

8. Facetime is almost
always better than texting.

9. Find a church and
belong there.

10. Appreciate the
belly laughs, tears and uncertainty and hold on.

11. Realize that this
time in your life is FUN. Treat it as such.

12. Grad school is
hard but worth it. You could meet the greatest people.

13. A long walk is
incredibly therapeutic. So put on those headphones and sneakers and get
walkin’.

14. Find a form of
exercise that works for YOU and YOUR body.

15. Listen more in
conversations. Silence isn’t a death sentence. It’s actually where all the good
stuff happens.

16. Pray constantly.
Pray as you walk down the street, before bed, in the car, always.

17. City living is a
blast and every time you drive into Portland or walk around you’ll feel a sense
of peace.

18. It’s ok to get
giddy and maybe get TOO excited about something. You’re allowed to be happy.

19. You have the best
support system.

20. This past year was
hard but you would never take any of it back. Hard times make for stronger
hearts.

21. Send the note,
help people feel known and extend grace especially when it’s difficult.

22. My life has been
one fairly consistent timeline and now’s the time to throw the plan out the
window and wait for God to say what’s next.

23.Dance like Drake,
sing like Adele and scream out the lyrics, tell the goofy story, read the fluff
book, don’t let your heart grow hard from all the pain in the world, drink
endless amounts of coffee and call your loved ones.

I love the idea of having a word to go back to and help guide me as I experience this new year. But because I couldn't choose just one (classic) I decided on two!

Let's break 'em down!

Faith.

For 2016 I want to grow stronger in my faith and learn more about what I believe to be true. My church is doing a year of biblical literacy and I am joining them in reading the bible in a year. I want to journal more, spend more time in stillness with God, and ultimately be able to stand behind my faith more and more. I want to be able to lean on my faith when times become uncertain (which happens often) and I start to think more worldly. I'm excited to push myself and be more diligent in my faith life.

This is something I really struggle with and I always look towards the thing that I don't have instead of reflecting on all the things I am incredibly blessed with. I want to actively push myself to seek out contentment and enjoy this amazing life that I get to live and stop constantly searching for more. It's good to push ourselves but it's not good to look past all of the great things in our life and always check the other side of the fence to see what you could have. Because honestly, the people on the other side of the fence probably think they are lacking too, just in a different way.

I want to keep going back to these words and at this time next year, be able to reflect on what an amazing year it was and how much I grew. And that's ultimately why I keep this blog! This little blog is my ultimate accountability partner and it sure does a good job at reminding me of my strengths and weaknesses. :)

January was a rough month for me. There was a lot of transitions and uncertainty hitting me from every angle and I definitely wasn't prepared. I just re-read a letter I wrote to myself back in January to be read in December and whoa, was I unhappy. It was actually extremely depressing. But you'd never know it because #socialmedia. Needless to say, the year kept on moving and then it was February.

february

In February I got the call that a little school in Oregon called Pacific University wanted to interview me. I flew to Portland and rented a car on my own for the first time and had an absolute blast. I finally felt like my life was moving forward instead of staying stagnant.

march

In March I visited with my friend Ashley in the Bay area, received many declines from grad schools and tried to find contentment in staying in California. This was the month I tried to push myself to create a different kind of home in the place I had been calling home for quite some time.

april

Finally, in April, after many weeks of waiting, I got the call that I was accepted into Pacific University for grad school!! Not only did I get in somewhere but I got into a school that happens to be somewhere I always knew I would live. From there April was smooth sailing and I was able to enjoy finishing up the Chem and Bio class I was taking and continue working.

may

May was a really good month. My best friend Monica came to visit, my sister came home from studying abroad, my bio class ended, and all the puzzle pieces were coming together. I finally felt content in who I was and where I was headed.

june

June was a time of peace and relaxation as well as finishing up my chem class. We spent time on the lake, dropped my sister off in Yosemite and I genuinely began to appreciate this time at home.

july

July was excellent because we went to our friends house for the 4th and I got to drive up to Portland with my dad and sister to see my new apartment! Everything was coming together and I was able to enjoy summer.

august

August was a whole lot of HOLY S*** moments. (pardon my french). I saw Mumford & Sons in concert, I MOVED TO PORTLAND, I started grad school and I ultimately created a home for myself in a brand new city. And man, do I love that city.

september

September was filled with chaos, fun, excitement, new opportunities, new friends and a general amazement over all that Oregon has to offer.

october

October was like a dream. I got to drive a tractor and visit the most picture perfect pumpkin patch, surprised my sister and see her in her last high school musical, went on an amazing church retreat, and the weather was unreal. Fall in the PNW guys!!!!

november

November was great as well. We went hiking through fairy tale lands, I went home for Thanksgiving, got more involved in my church and planned on finishing the semester strong!

december

This is my amazing cohort!! I can't mention December without mentioning all of the people who helped me along the way. This grad school thing would not be the same without this group of people. December was filled with holiday parties, spending a lot of time with family and trying my best to relax. It was glorious. ONE SEMESTER DONE!

2015 played out like two complete novels. The first novel is all about a person completely unsure of herself and what she should do with her life and the second is about someone who is 100% confident she is on the right path. Reading the note I wrote to myself 12 months ago feels like a stranger wrote it to me. (and thank God for that!) She was sad, insecure, frustrated and alone. But even if there was an option to take that sorrow away from her, I wouldn't have done it. I learned more in the first 6 months of 2015 than I may have ever learned before.

2016 won't be easy. I'm sure it will have its fair share of trials and triumphs and I look forward to each. And I also have the wisdom now of someone who has gone through a 2015 and come out on the other side.

This space is sporadic and mostly a journal I keep for myself (albeit a very public one at that) but I love that I can read all about what I went through and see how far I've come. And thanks for letting me share it all with you! I don't even know who reads this besides my mom and Grammie (hi guys!) but even if I don't know you, thanks.