Sunday, 19 April 2015

'Stress Awareness Month' - #HAWMC

Today's Prompt - 'What’s
the best way you deal with stress? How do you like to let loose to escape
common stresses?'

Stress is one of the most
common asides in living with chronic illness. The idea that we have to factor
our condition into everything we do is already stressful enough in itself, then
factor in the pain we feel, the medication we take, all the appointments to
keep track of, the worry about our future and how our condition affects those
we love.

It can be incredible the impact
other peoples actions can have on our mood and outlook too. I can find myself
drawn into the most seemingly insignificant drama on a daily basis. People
around me complaining about the most mundane and irrelevant nonsense and I’m usually
at a loss to steer clear. These ‘problems’ are usually easily resolvable, borne
of frustration, and an attempted avoidance of real-life-actual worries.

Or they are just dafties; also
a real possibility.

After being advised last year,
after a few therapy sessions, that I suffer from stress and anxiety, I’ve
learnt a few methods of my own in order to remind myself not to get caught up
in a daily web of discomfort.

Firstly, I try to remind myself
that I have a chronic illness; the symptoms of which are exacerbated by stress. Therefore it’s physically dangerous for me
to involve myself in someone else’s argumentative minefield. When this mental reminder doesn’t
work, the unbearable burning in my diseased intestines is generally a more
forceful form of encouragement. I have some other calming tools up my sleeves,
such as replaying the lyrics to one of my favourite songs over in my head when I’m
in intense pain - (it helps to keep my mind focused on something else). I also
take some alone-time to myself, into the toilet if necessary (I'm in there
a lot of the day anyway) and close my eyes. I think of two colours and
visualize them; breathe in with red and out with yellow for example, until I
feel my heart rate slow down and my muscles begin to relax.

Of course just
because these quick-fixes often work for me, certainly doesn’t mean they will
work for you; but much like intercourse and macaroni cheese with bacon they are
always worth a try. They are also in direct correlation to the extent of the
situation you are getting anxious about. If it’s something as regular as
meeting a stranger, then quick calming methods may work to ease the stress of
what to say and what to do and if you have herbs in your teeth from that pizza
at lunch. But if you are dealing with something as horrific as devastating
grief or a major shift in your lifestyle for example, then you may find
yourself in a stress-shaped-hole you struggle to climb out of.

Anxiety and
chronic illness go hand in sweaty-palmed hand.

It can be nigh
on impossible to ignore when you find yourself in the unfortunate position of suddenly
having to factor your illness into every aspect of your life. For IBD patients,
something as outwardly simple as finding the nearest toilet in a strange place,
can fill us with dread quicker than being asked if you "come here
often" by a seedy suited business man in a nightclub. Although coincidentally
that's how I met my first husband. JOKE I don’t have a husband! He's been
chopped up in my car boot for saying "I don’t look ill" in 2002.

Alongside the
more obvious worries in being diagnosed with a chronic illness, you also have
the worry of how your body will inevitably change, if you will lose the use of
certain bodily functions, what side affects you will have from medications and
what grotesque treatments you will have to endure; there can also be a myriad
of other stresses you hadn't previously considered. Anxieties over the
progression of relationships and if your employer will accept you potentially
not being able to perform as you once did. Worries about performance levels
dropping at work can also often be more overwhelming than a man in his twilight
years surfing the net for Viagra after a first date. Again coincidentally how I
met my second husband.

Of course there
is no 'quick-fix' here, like most conditions it’s trial and error in finding
what works for you. Looking at your problems in a more rational and in-depth
way may also help to iron out some of the underlying issues causing your
anxiety. Sometimes this needs someone else to coax it out of you - preferably
an outsider if possible as family and friends worrying about you can
often compound your anxieties. Talking is a great first step. Like the
aforementioned macaroni cheese; little and often. Don't worry that you will
push people away by opening up - it's one of the bravest things you can do, and
those who love you will have nothing but respect for you. If you feel trapped
and afraid, and are sinking in metaphorical quicksand then reach out and accept
help when it's given. You don’t have to 'put up with' feeling this way and you
don't have to be alone with it either. On the other side of the anxiety coin,
if you see someone suffering and stuck in a downtown funk then offer your hand
to help them up. Coincidentally how I met my 3rd husband, Bruno Mars.

This post was written as part of WEGO Health's Activist Writers Monthly Challenge - #HAWMC