Generic Spam

I haven’t done much work with mailmerged documents recently, but I think I recall that back in olden times curly-brackets were used to indicate the variable that would be replaced with database information in the merged document. That’s the only sense I can make of this email message, anyway:

Hello,
I am sera muse am interested in renting your room, i am female 24 years old from united arab emirate dubai, i am coming to study my masters in { MainCampus in area university } So i need an apartment to stay so i will like you to tell me more about the room and you can try as much to send me the pictures of the room,i do not smoke,no pets and i am not dirty and friendly as well.Do get back to me with the price of the room per month and the term of lease,hope to read from you soon warmest regards
sera

Sera, if you really meant to send this to me, let me explain that Area University is a highly selective institution to which not every student is admitted — you’d better work on your punctuation skills before applying. And rents near Main Campus are pretty steep. That being said, we may have a room to rent you next year, if you really think you can walk to Main Campus of Area University from where we live.

(And now I’m thinking of a line of hoodies and t-shirts that say “Area University” in blocky letters, to go with the Onion’s line of Area Man merchandise.)