Friendship, Connection & Philosophy

It’s nearly the end of October so best I get a quick blog post in there! How is everyone? It’s not been a great year, the economy is tightening her vice grip on all of us and times are tough. We’re all feeling it. But such are the swings and roundabouts of life, and most of us have much to be grateful for, so let’s vasbyt and carry on carrying on (and just be extra nice to others).

I’ve been reading and watching quite a few things lately that have made me think about those formative years I spent, mostly in London, in my 20s. Rewatching reruns of Friends made me reminisce, as well as being glued to series like Younger (I could write a whole blog post on that show!). The friends we make in our 20s change us forever, and remain with us for life.

And then you get the friends you make through your kids, which have been in my 30s. Some pass through your lives, there for a few years, and a handful of birthday parties, but then others stick. Maybe it’s because you have similar approaches to parenting, or to life, but hanging out with them seems easy and fun, and the kids have a jol too, so it’s all good. Much of your life as a parent is taken up with school, so you may as well bond with a few faces and enjoy your time together.

Then I imagine that in your 40s, those friendships are tested because life may get tough(er) and you experience more grief, or illness, or more serious life issues, because let’s face it, that’s what happens as we spend more time on this planet. I also heard something recently talking about how pivotal the female friendships that we forge in life are, and that they are the ‘main meals’ of our lives, and that “men are just dessert”. I think this trivialises our romantic relationships, but there is a kernel of truth in it, because for many people, romantic relationships morph and change (and sometimes end), but good friendships remain, until our final days.

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, thinking about happiness, and what brings humans happiness. In fact, this was sparked by a conversation I had last weekend with some friends. Although I value time on my own, this friend of mine was talking about the weight that human connection plays in our happiness levels. Not how many friends you have on Facebook. Or how many people were at that one party you went to last weekend. I’m talking about proper connections with other humans, the kind where you put down your phones and look at each other in the eye and really really talk. That’s a big contributor towards happiness. And I want more of it.

It doesn’t have to be only with your friends or family though. There are opportunities for human connection everywhere we go in our everyday. This morning on the way to the airport I sat in the car with my Uber driver Luwelyn. I often find that Uber drivers are part drivers/part philosophers so it doesn’t surprise me when they end up giving me little nuggets of wisdom. Anyway Luwelyn was driving a bit too fast for my liking but the windows were down (no aircon) and the music was blasting. This dude was in a good mood.

That song by Robin Schulz and James Blunt came on the radio and Luwelyn really liked that song. He was blasting out the lyrics: “I really need you! I really need your love right now…When every ship is going down, I don’t feel nothing when I hear you say: IT’S GONNA BE OKAY! I like this song do you know why? (pretty sure this was a rhetorical question): Because he’s right! Everything is going to be okay, you know? It might not be now, but it will be, so you just have to wait. It’s gonna be okay.”

I hadn’t had any coffee yet, so wasn’t contributing much to this conversation but I did nod along and may even have hummed a little bit.

He was right: It’s gonna be okay. If Luwelyn knows it, then so should you.