About

Hi, I’m Mark Davian.

Since the late 1980s I’ve dedicated myself to deep listening, coaching and innovative problem-solving to help people get more of what they want from life especially in the areas of sex, relationships, resilience and spirituality.

My background

I grew up in a remote part of the Amazon rainforest where my parents worked as part of a team of humanitarian workers helping alleviate illness, lack of education, poverty and widespread discrimination suffered by indigenous people. It was in this setting where I first learned about community, shamanic priniciples, relationships, navigating turbulent change and developed the capacity to see things from multiple viewpoints.

As a young adult I spent a dozen years working in some 20 countries, assisting global humanitarian workers living in some of the world’s most difficult settings. I learned many things during this time, especially how to create emotional safety for others and had many opportunities to develop and hone my gifts for counseling, coaching and spiritual direction. Also, during these years a longing was born deep within me for a global outreach that empowered others.

A dozen years as a manager in corporate America brought a deepening of skills in resilience, communication, training, coaching and conflict resolution – for myself and also in guiding others in these areas.

I spent six years as a business and marketing coach helping those doing transformational work to expand their impact and create and grow successful businesses. While having enjoyed this meaningful work, I sold Authentic Business Growth to more fully dedicate myself to supporting people in their quest for erotic fulfillment and emotionally satisfying relationships and to supporting others working in this field.

Twelve years working as a sex educator, relationship coach and workshop facilitator for gay and bisexual men brought many opportunities to empower others and deepen my capacities and mission to help others experience meaningful intimacy. After running over 100 in person workshops in Boston and the Northeast US, based on requests from across North America and oversears, my outreach became global and mostly online.

I’ll share below how all this blended together and led to the formation of Beyond Intimacy where anyone who wants more pleasure and intimacy is welcome regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Pleasure and intimacy is possible for you

A good wine gets better with age and this is a useful metaphor to understand the development of my work.

My message has long been that a deeper level of pleasure and more nourishing, deeply connected intimacy is possible through open-hearted authenticity and self-compassion.

This message deepened and clarified during the years that my work as a sex educator and relationship coach focused on gay and bisexual men – a group that has faced a lot of stigma, shaming, judgment and even violence from society – just for the simple act of being who they are.

Despite its simplicity, this message is profound and life-changing:

Pleasure and intimacy are possible no matter one’s background. You deserve them. They are your birthright.

How Beyond Intimacy was created

Over the 12 years that my work focused on gay men I was increasingly sought out by women, straight men, transgender and queer people to teach, help and guide them in the arena of sex, intimacy and relationships.

It was from these invitations – and carefully listening to my inner knowing – that Beyond Intimacy was created, as a place where anyone – no matter who you love or how you love them – is welcome.

Who I Work With

I work with people of all genders and sexual identities who want to experience more deeply intimate connection and nourishing sexual pleasure in their experience of sex and relationships.

Specifically my work is focused mostly on those who live outside the traditional societal norms in some way, such as due to one or more of the following

All of the programs whether online or offline are about helping you eliminate barriers so that you can reach your full potential in your connection with others, and yourself.

I work with my one on one clients by phone, something that has repeatedly proven to be surprisingly effective for practical body-centered sex and relationship coaching.

Overall my work brings you a refreshing, down-to-earth approach that blends ancient wisdom and cutting edge tools with body-centered practices and deep listening to help you accelerate intimacy in your life.

If you are interested in my experience and background, you can continue reading below.

Be part of the discussion about deepening intimacy, pleasure and relationship satisfaction by joining the email list

Highlights of Programs Developed and Taught

Touch & Authentic Connection

Pain Free Anal Sex Blueprint

7 Secrets of Emotionally Satisfying Relationships

Relationship Cafe

Calm, Confident & Powerful

Exploring the Power of Forgiveness

Flirt Fast for Fun and Safe Erotic Play

Sensual Touch Dojo™

Communal Erotic Heart Jam

Bondage & Surrender Basics

The Courage to Be Happy

I Love A Man’s Touch

Dungeon Play Orientation

Learning Lab for Negotiation & Communication

Learning Lab on Power Exchange Relationships

Igniting the Fire: Passing the Torch Ritual (co-presenter)

Exploring and Transcending Boundaries (co-presenter)

A Gentle Masculine Body Blessing

Intimacy Through Touch and Presence

Communal Erotic Meditations for Men

Savoring Masculine Touch

Sensation Play: From Tickle To Torment

Warm, Wet and Taboo

Erotic Trance Journey

Kinky Camp at Easton Mountain

Kink Lab: Exploring Erotic Spanking

Exploring the Power of Forgiveness

Bodywork Basics for Men

Expanding Your Capacity To Receive Love

CV Highlights
Practical Sex & Relationship Coaching

I follow the code of ethics of the

International Coach Federation, an international organization dedicated to advancing the coaching profession.

Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers (ACSB), a professional association devoted to the promotion of professional somatic sex education.

My affiliations have included being a licensed member of the Relationship Coaching Institute, a founding member of the Gay Coaches Alliance and a member of the Association of Sexual Energy Professionals and of the Focusing Institute.

Modalities

My work is holistic and integrative and draws from ancient teachings and modern practices.

Here are some of the modalities that inform my work based on extensive study and practice.

Inner Relationship Focusing and focusing-oriented body awareness and dialog (based on the work of Eugene Gendlin)

Conscious Dating™ Coaching

Play Two Win™ Coaching (Coachville)

Reiki Master

Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or tapping)

Shamanic practices and ritual

Various breathwork techniques

Various bodywork modalities

I am not certified in any of these modalities, though none of them require certification. In fact, many of them do not offer certification options (especially back when I got started). I am, however, a Reiki Master the highest available practitioner designation for Reiki.

The purpose of my work is to help healthy, functioning adults to find more meaning and pleasure in their relationships and sexual expression. I do not diagnose or treat illness. I am not a physician or psychologist. Also, I do not provide legal or financial advice. Coaching is intended to supplement such services and is not a substitute for letting these professional be your primary support in those areas.

Influencing modalities

These are some modalities that I don’t specifically practice, but which have underlying theories, concepts or insights that have significantly influenced my views and inform my work.

Training Highlights

Unfortunately there is very little training available for the work I do. Most of the little training that has been available (especially when I got started in this field) is sex negative, often shaming, coldly clinical and heavily based on the Western medicine (disease model) that assumes any lack of satisfaction or fulfillment in life means something is wrong with you that needs to be “fixed.”

Even today, sadly, there are few trainings for coaches or psychotherapists that are both knowledgeable and culturally competent when it comes to supporting and empowering those who are sexual minorities like queer, LGBT, poly and kinky people.

As someone who was coaching a decade before the field of life coaching started to become widely known, I have always come from a perspective of seeking to collaborate with clients in an effort to empower them to live more meaningful lives, rather than from the more common shame-based approach of diagnosing and “fixing” them.

My qualifications are based on my wide-ranging experience of over 25 years supporting people around the world in their journey toward fulfillment and empowerment. Since 1990 I have worked with thousands of men, and many women, who have sought my help specifically in the areas of sex and relationships.

My experience living and working in some 20 countries helping global humanitarian workers thrive in some of the world’s most difficult and dangerous places has given me a strong foundation for helping people with sex and relationships. There are few things inside us that can feel as difficult and dangerous as sex and relationships sometimes do. It’s possible to thrive there also.

I also bring to the mix years of explorations and training in spiritual, holistic and body-centered practices, energy medicine, meditation hypnosis, and my own personal sexual journey over many years.

Listed below are some highlights of the many trainings which I’ve taken and integrated into my work

Coaches Training Institute

Body Electric School

Relationship Coaching Institute

Institute for Erotic Education

Tantra Heart, LLC

New School of Erotic Touch

Training and mentoring with leading sexologists including Joseph Kramer, Betty Martin, Barbara Carrellas and others.