Some of you might already be aware of this, but I'll engage in some self-disclosure to those of you who may not know... I'm a University of Alabama football fan. Big time.

If you follow college football, you're aware that this has been a big week for 'Bama fans as the Tide (12-1) beat undefeated Notre Dame for the National Championship. (If you don't follow college football, hang in there with me for just a second. There's a bigger point here!)

The thing about Alabama fans is that we tend to expect perfection from our team, partly because that is the message that Coach Nick Saban conveys by his sideline tantrums and his "we've got things to work on" comments to the media. Unfortunately, however, the team is full of 63 (or so) imperfect players. And so, when Alabama lost to Texas A&M in November, 'Bama fans were devastated and felt that the season was over, with no hope of rising from the ashes.

Isn't that so much like how those of us who are perfectionists react to ourselves and those around us when we "lose"?? Something happens contrary to our idea of the way things "should" be, and we're sidelined with a season-ending injury. Or so it seems.

In reality, however, a bigger victory remains if we are willing to challenge our perfectionist thoughts. We might lose a game from time to time, but in the end there's a huge crystal trophy to gain if we choose to give ourselves and others grace and learn from what appears at first glance to be mistakes.

So beware of your "shoulda, coulda, woulda" thoughts. Learn to challenge and replace them with more appropriate cognition. Put an end to your "Perfect"-ionist season and see how peace and joy replace criticism and anger. And ROLL TIDE, Y'ALL!!

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Authors

The author of Life Renewal Counseling's Blog is Jennifer Street, LCSW. Earlier posts are credited to our former counselor, Yolanda Harper, LCSW. For more information on Jennifer please visit the "About Us" section of our website.