4 Ways to Strengthen Our Relationship with God

How to start feeling God’s presence in your life.

One of the best investments we can make in our lives is fostering strong, healthy relationships with those we love. These relationships serve to strengthen our mind and physical health. These attachments show us that we matter to someone else, provide us with opportunities to look outside of ourselves and to give to others.

Unfortunately, the rat race of life often robs us of the time needed to devote and maintain these unions. As a result, many of us suffer without understanding why. We are seemingly thrown into exile – isolated from the world around us and those we love. Though we see the physical form of our loved ones, we cannot feel their loving presence or appreciate their love for us.

The same is often true with our relationship to God. The world carries us away on a rollercoaster ride, distracting us from focusing on life’s essence.

In such cases, we must take a few steps back, recharge, realign and focus on receiving the love that is being directed at us. How? To rebuild the relationship, the first, basic thing to do is to recognize the other’s presence and feel them in our hearts. How can we begin to connect to a Creator if we haven’t dedicated the time to first recognize His existence?

It is vital to implant in our consciousness that there is a Creator – a basic awareness of the presence of God in our lives. As it says in Psalms: “I have set God before me always” (Psalms, 16:8).By doing so, we essentially ‘invite’ Him into our life and are able to begin developing a relationship with Him.

So how do we rejuvenate this relationship with our Creator in order to feel His love?

Live consciously with the thought that there is purpose to life: A first step is to actively focus on the fact that nothing happens on its own. We are placed in this world to fulfill specific tasks and must remain mindful of the quest and continually search for purpose. Simply put God is closely involved in every aspect of a person’s life. Think of life’s events as personal notes intended to convey messages. Gradually as we tune in to this idea we will be able to decipher their meaning more readily.

Be aware of life’s gifts: A second step towards fostering this relationship with God is to focus on appreciating everything He has done for us. Next time you find something you have been looking for, show your appreciation by thanking God. Or the next time you miss your bus, actively look for one aspect of goodness in that occurrence, even if it’s just the fact that it gives you an opportunity to practice this exercise.

Daily events provide continuous opportunities to appreciate the goodness of God in our lives. The warm smile that greets you during a stressful day or the kind words that someone utters your way are some of the ways God interacts with you. Through these experiences we can sensitize our perception of God’s personal intervention, His constant presence, His love and care for us.

Express your faithfulness through action: The Sages suggest another way we can use to build a strong connection with God which is hinted to in the word mitzvah (Torah’s commandments), the Hebrew root of which is tzavta (companionship). Through engaging in various mitzvot we may partner with God’s will through our deeds. Furthermore, Torah study gifts us with a glimpse of infinite wisdom, since He reveals Himself through the holy letters.

Keep working on enhancing the relationship: However, as with any relationship, we must expect ups and downs in our relationship with God. Life is full of stress and trying encounters which throw us into darkness and feelings of being abandoned. Yet, it is of utmost importance to stay loyal and faithful despite of the challenges. This is the definition of unconditional love.

When we find ourselves in the dark, we must remember that we are not alone. The walls are only illusions. We learn this from the verse describing the receiving of the Torah on Mount Sinai: “… and Moshe drew near unto the fog where God was”(Exodus, 20:18). Any separation is an aspect of fog, cloudiness and darkness. However, the numerical value of the words ‘the fog’ in Hebrew is equivalent to the numerical value of the Shechinah (the Divine Presence).From this, we can deduce that God is present even when we are in a place of confusion and are experiencing loss of clarity or cloudiness of mind.

In such dark times, one way of reminding ourselves that He is still there is by simply inviting Him using simple words such as ‘God, I need You in my life.’ Communication is essential when forming a healthy connection between two parties and our relationship with God is no exception. Talking things through while respecting the other’s feelings is paramount for enhancing any relationship. Hearing the other side out and trying to place ourselves in their shoes as best as possible establishes long term feelings of validation. Just as we talk with others, we need to talk to God, trust Him enough to openly reveal ourselves to Him, and listen to His response.

It is crucial to extend time and effort to foster our relationships. Recognizing the other’s presence, searching and appreciating their kindnesses, following their suggestions, being loyal and faithful even when it seems that they are distancing themselves from us, and communicating our innermost thoughts may all consume a hefty amount of emotional energy. However, when we exert enough effort, we will be rewarded by finding that both during the joys and vicissitudes of life, the sunshine and the clouds of confusion and fogginess, they are right there with us.

Similarly, God is right there, lovingly directing our every step. Just as we connect to others in all walks of life, we will be rewarded by seeing God in every path of life.

About the Author

Orit Esther Riter born in Brooklyn, New York, a caterer by profession. However, after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 2006, her life’s direction took a different course. In 2009, Orit made aliyah with her family from Monsey, NY.

She currently authors daily on-line articles and emails focusing on spreading emuna to a growing list of subscribers from all around the world. In addition, her emuna classes can be found on Torahanytime.com and YouTube channel.

Currently, Orit Esther has five children and one grandson living in Israel. She lives with her husband and four younger children in Ramat Beit Shemesh.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 8

(8)
Netsi,
July 7, 2015 10:20 PM

Thank you

I badly need this. Merci

(7)
USLifed,
January 1, 2014 5:29 AM

Trust on your partner

I think if you want to make your relationship stronger than trust on your partner and never blame on him/her. If you blame than your relationship became weak and you never live happy with him/her. So i agree with your tips. It is really awesome and working in real life..

(6)
Fernando,
December 19, 2013 3:21 PM

Been jew , never was very spiritual, till last year I moved out of Israel to London and was one of the most shocking things I've ever done. Was lost, depressed, sad, seeing everything dark and cloudy. I started to be guided by a very good friend of mine on reading Torah and Tanach, go more to Beit Kneset, pray, be thankful... slowly I started to feel better and got many rewards in the way. Like the article says, there are many ups and downs in the way, but hope always remains... great article! thank you!!

(5)
David,
December 17, 2013 3:59 AM

This is a very important message from someone who is connected and has a strong relationship with G-d. Thank you may God give you more wisdom. For your message gave more faith in God.

(4)
Mattisyahu,
December 16, 2013 5:28 PM

Liked it.

Thank you for the excellent essay. It said some things that I needed to hear.

(3)
Hanna,
December 16, 2013 2:02 PM

A relationship with G-d.

This is a very deep message from someone who is connected and has a strong relationship with G-d. Thank you so much for your message. It came at a time when I needed it most.

(2)
Rachel,
December 15, 2013 10:40 PM

beautiful

Thank you for the beautifully written article with very important messages.

(1)
Renee Goughler,
December 15, 2013 7:30 PM

A wonderful teaching on maintaining our relationship with God. Thank you. Shalom and blessings to you.

My nephew is having his bar mitzvah and I am thinking of a gift. In the old days, the gift of choice was a fountain pen, then a Walkman, and today an iPod. But I want to get him something special. What do you suggest?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Since this event celebrates the young person becoming obligated in the commandments, the most appropriate gift is, naturally, one that gives a deeper understanding of the Jewish heritage and enables one to better perform the mitzvot! (An iPod, s/he can get anytime.)

With that in mind, my favorite gift idea is a tzedakah (charity) box. Every Jew should have a tzedakah box in his home, so he can drop in change on a regular basis. The money can then be given to support a Jewish school or institution -- in your home town or in Israel (every Jews’ “home town”). There are beautiful tzedakah boxes made of wood and silver, and you can see a selection here.

For boys, a really beautiful gift is a pair of tefillin, the black leather boxes which contain parchments of Torah verses, worn on the bicep and the head. Owning a pair of Tefillin (and wearing them!) is an important part of Jewish identity. But since they are expensive (about $400), not every Bar Mitzvah boy has a pair. To make sure you get kosher Tefillin, see here.

In 1944, the Nazis perpetrated the Children's Action in the Kovno Ghetto. That day and the next, German soldiers conducted house-to-house searches to round up all children under age 12 (and adults over 55) -- and sent them to their deaths at Fort IX. Eventually, the Germans blew up every house with grenades and dynamite, on suspicion that Jews might be in hiding in underground bunkers. They then poured gasoline over much of the former ghetto and incinerated it. Of the 37,000 Jews in Kovno before the Holocaust, less than 10 percent survived. One of the survivors was Rabbi Ephraim Oshri, who later published a stirring collection of rabbinical responsa, detailing his life-and-death decisions during the Holocaust. Also on this date, in 1937, American Jews held a massive anti-Nazi rally in New York City's Madison Square Garden.

In a letter to someone who found it difficult to study Torah, the 20th century sage the Chazon Ish wrote:

"Some people find it hard to be diligent in their Torah studies. But the difficulty persists only for a short while - if the person sincerely resolves to submerge himself in his studies. Very quickly the feelings of difficulty will go away and he will find that there is no worldly pleasure that can compare with the pleasure of studying Torah diligently."

Although actions generally have much greater impact than thoughts, thoughts may have a more serious effect in several areas.

The distance that our hands can reach is quite limited. The ears can hear from a much greater distance, and the reach of the eye is much farther yet. Thought, however, is virtually limitless in its reach. We can think of objects millions of light years away, and so we have a much greater selection of improper thoughts than of improper actions.

Thought also lacks the restraints that can deter actions. One may refrain from an improper act for fear of punishment or because of social disapproval, but the privacy of thought places it beyond these restraints.

Furthermore, thoughts create attitudes and mindsets. An improper action creates a certain amount of damage, but an improper mindset can create a multitude of improper actions. Finally, an improper mindset can numb our conscience and render us less sensitive to the effects of our actions. We therefore do not feel the guilt that would otherwise come from doing an improper act.

We may not be able to avoid the occurrence of improper impulses, but we should promptly reject them and not permit them to dwell in our mind.

Today I shall...

make special effort to avoid harboring improper thoughts.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...