The toiling Photoshopping masses have now acquired a new great tool in their arsenal. Now anyone with minimal skills in graphic editing can create compelling images of Flat Flotus on meaningful backgrounds, thus helping the media to deliver the Current Truth about our First Lady to the credulous public.

A symbol of suffering and sacrifice for The Greater Good™. Used in hard labor therapy or in self-criticism sessions to redeem potential thought crimes. Every citizen must keep his or her shovel in good repair at all times and bring it to the railroad station if called to duty by the Commissar. The shovel is an important part of Earth Day festival, or Sacrificial Earth Shoveling Day, celebrating the death and rebirth of Great Lenin.

... Seen here posing with the heirloom shovel of their ancestors, FLATUS Obama recently acknowledged...Just like the heirloom shovel itself, the very art of martial shovel-wielding is a skill passed in her family from generation to generation. Did you notice the "eagle-claw" grip she is using on this one? Only Barack may know the full extent of her gripping techniques. But I digess...

Here are some pictures of Michelle's ancestors.

A creature that looked just like FLOTUS used to be a feared fighting machine in the Persian army, killing many a Spartan with her battle shovel. A favorite of Xerxes, she was so formidable that putting up merely a cardboard cutout of her on the first line of the attack was enough to make the enemy run.

The picture of the shovel-wielding Michelle reminded me of a movie I watched recently...

Michelle's beshoveled ancestors are quite known throughout history. The first recorded sighting happened at The Tower of Babel. She insisted on fair redistribution of rations, bricks, mortar, and scaffolding throughout the entire construction site. Then the tower collapsed.

Then was the invasion of Greece, the destruction of Rome from within through massive entitlements, Attila the Hun, the Black Plague, etc...

What? No pictures off all the obese Children™ she's trying to defend from the ravages of processed "junk food"? What about all those steaks and lobsters she's put away? Isn't it clear that by her holding this shovel with that hungry look on her face that she has evolved far beyond any need for mere forks and spoons that us average proles use on a daily basis? Yes, it is.

I lack the technology, but the image of Her Highness Moochele in front of a mountain of French Fries or a buffet line would be appropriate, no?...or her confronting a buttered lobster tail.

I already claim credit for that suggestion: What? No pictures off all the obese Children™ she's trying to defend from the ravages of processed "junk food"? What about all those steaks and lobsters she's put away? Isn't it clear that by her holding this shovel with that hungry look on her face that she has evolved far beyond any need for mere forks and spoons that us average proles use on a daily basis? Yes, it is.

Comrades, It's getting worse! It was bad enough that The Peoples's Intellectual Property also known as the Peoples' Great Artwork in the form of Flat FLOTUS has been pirated by tea-baggers, but now they're really gone too far by photoshopping Flat FLOTUS to create a Phlat POTUS for mocking me. It's those Tea-Partiers who claim to suppor Allen West:

This is glorious! I can take Flat FLOTUS everywhere. Let's see.... where to go, where to go........ the gulag latrine needs a bit of .... well, maybe not. Never to worry, I will think of something suite of such a . . . . umm, . . . well, I will think of something.

Although Reich-Wingers may say "Barack Obama is not the best POTUS at throwing out the first pitch," I must say that my Michelle Obama as Flat FLOTUS is the best FLOTUS as a batter. Indeed, she said, "For the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of America's Past-Time (or is it PastTime or is it Pastime??)".

you can't make this stuff up... OMFG!!! You're absolutely right: you CAN'T make this stuff up! See what happens when you're unemployed living down in mommy and daddy's basement in your urine-stained underwear eating junk food drinking Dr. Pepper® all day taking a break from your Halo™ game? You come up with stuff like this!

This is my shovel. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My shovel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my shovel is useless. Without my shovel, I am useless. I must whack my shovel true. I must whack straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must whack him on the head before he whacks me on the head. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my shovel and myself are defenders of Communism, we are the masters of the proletariat, we and Dear Leader are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no rich people, but peace. A-wymmin

This is my shovel. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My shovel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my shovel is useless. Without my shovel, I am useless. I must whack my shovel true. I must whack straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must whack him on the head before he whacks me on the head. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my shovel and myself are defenders of Communism, we are the masters of the proletariat, we and Dear Leader are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no rich people, but peace. A-wymmin

Brings tears to this Old Revolutionaries ™ eyes.

As to the inclusion of Private First Class Privates in my photo;

This is my Weiner. There are many others like it but this one is mine. My Weiner is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my Weiner is useless. Without my Weiner, I am useless. I must wank my Weiner true. I must wank straighter than my enemy, who is trying to wank me ...

This is my shovel. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My shovel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my shovel is useless. Without my shovel, I am useless. I must whack my shovel true. I must whack straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must whack him on the head before he whacks me on the head. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my shovel and myself are defenders of Communism, we are the masters of the proletariat, we and Dear Leader are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no rich people, but peace. A-wymmin

THOUGHTCRIME!!!

"God" is a bourgeois concept created by the capitalists to keep the proletariat in check.

Rewrite your post and remove God and in it's place insert 'Obama (PBUH)'

This is your first and only warning. Another 'slip' and you will be reassigned to Mining Camp No. 12. Prepare your shovel....

This is my shovel. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My shovel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my shovel is useless. Without my shovel, I am useless. I must whack my shovel true. I must whack straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must whack him on the head before he whacks me on the head. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my shovel and myself are defenders of Communism, we are the masters of the proletariat, we and Dear Leader are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no rich people, but peace. A-wymmin

THOUGHTCRIME!!!

"God" is a bourgeois concept created by the capitalists to keep the proletariat in check.

Rewrite your post and remove God and in it's place insert 'Obama (PBUH)'

This is your first and only warning. Another 'slip' and you will be reassigned to Mining Camp No. 12. Prepare your shovel....

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE FREEDOM IS SLAVERY IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Oh come now Comrade O'Brien, seems the Princess of Nookie is a good Communist, you are so 1960's in your thinking, haven't you heard ... we now accept Liberation Theology into our Groupthink™.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

Ex-president Obama declares Irma "Hurricane of Peace," urges not to jump to conclusions and succumb to stormophobia

CNN: Trump reverses Obama's executive order banning hurricanes

ISIS claims responsibility for a total solar eclipse over the lands of American crusaders and nonbelievers

When asked if they could point to North Korea on a map many college students didn't know what a map was

CNN: We must bring America into the 21st century by replacing the 18th century Constitution with 19th century poetry

Pelosi: 'We have to impeach the president in order to find out what we impeached him for'

BREAKING: As of Saturday July 8, 2017, all of Earth's ecosystems have shut down as per Prince Charles's super scientific pronouncement made 96 months ago. Everything is dead. All is lost. Life on Earth is no more.

DNC to pick new election slogan out of four finalists: 'Give us more government or everyone dies,' 'Vote for Democrats or everyone dies,' 'Impeach Trump or everyone dies,' 'Stop the fearmongering or everyone dies'

Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power" is humanity's last chance to save the Earth before it ends five years ago

Experts: The more we embrace diversity the more everything is the same

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths

Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise