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This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?)

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no.

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

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Right now I am co-sponsoring* a giveaway with Burlesque Toyshop & Kink, etc., so you could win my favorite butt toy, the gorgeous wooden Nobessence Romp!

This week is also #analweek over at Burlesque Toyshop, so you can get 20% off with code analweek!

That means you can get some of my favorite toys for cheap, like the Bootie for $28, Crystal Delights Plug for $52, Adam for $86.50, and the Romp for $88, the Magic Wand for $44, the Tango for $64 and more!

To enter the giveaway, just follow the instructions in the Rafflecopter widget below. Good luck everyone!

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The Romp is my new favorite butt plug. It surpasses my other faves like the comfortable Bootie, the filling Ryder, and even my beautiful Crystal Delights plug. It’s truly as amazing as Epiphora made it sound in her review, which is what led me to trying it.

The Romp is my first wooden sex toy, and it’s made by NobEssence, a supplier of premium hand-sculpted organic wooden toys that’s been around since 2005. It comes in various wood types; mine is made of Yellow Heart, an exotic wood usually from Brazil. Like all NobEssenece toys, it’s hand finished and sealed with Lubrosity, a smooth, impermeable body-safe polymer coating. It’s 3.5 insertable inches long and 1.5” at its widest point.

I don’t really know how to describe the Romp’s shape, so I’ll just say that it’s perfect-for-butts. Its tip is easy to insert, and once I get past its widest point, my butt sucks it in, and it stays in place like that’s it’s job. It doesn’t require as much lube as silicone toys—a little bit of Sassy is perfect. I’ve tried it both ways but prefer wearing the Romp with the handle pointing up towards my back.

Once it’s in, the Romp is comfortable, but I’m definitely aware it’s there, and it’s fun to squeeze and clench around, and the handle is great for tugging on. Although I thought it might be weird to sit with, it doesn’t get in the way, even when I tried sitting on hard wood. Though it’s comfortable, I can definitely feel the handle between my cheeks when walking around, so I don’t think I’d wear it out in public.

The other way I use the Romp, during vaginal sex, is in a word, intense. Especially at first, the pressure and added stimulation from the Romp is like whoa, and I find myself wondering if it’s too much, but it’s not, and before long I’m used to it and it’s amazing. The Romp doesn’t poke Jake or get in the way during sex, and it doesn’t escape my butt even during mega-orgasms.

I tried the Romp vaginally before using it as a butt plug, but the handle is too short, and I can’t really move it around to stimulate my g-spot. I think with a longer handle the shape would be promising, so I’d love to get my hands on the Intrigue at some point. I’ve read about people who like using the Romp as a kegel excerciser, so that’s also a possibility.

The Romp shouldn’t be boiled, but it can be easily cleaned and sterilized with non-abrasive soap and water and or a wipe down with a 10% bleach or alcohol solution. The wood doesn’t seem to retain butt smells (unlike silicone toys), which is awesome.

The Romp is so awesome that I literally had a nightmare that it got ruined because someone took sandpaper to it or something, and I was inconsolable, no joke. It was horrible. I wouldn’t wish a ruined Romp on anyone.

So, should you get the Romp? Yes, you should, ASAP. It’s a pricey toy, but it’s worth it. It’s gorgeous, comfortable, and its shape is amazing. If my nightmare had come true, and some sick, heartless person maliciously ruined my Romp, I’d buy another one stat. I kind of want to get another one with a different type of wood, but that seems excessive (plus, now I want to try all the NobEssence toys.) The Romp could be too big for anal beginners or too small for someone accustomed to much larger toys, but I’m having trouble imagining anyone not liking it.