This is a song I banged out just now. I'm not really sure how I managed to make it coherent, but I did. I think. Well, it's close enough anyway. I'm not really sure what to call it, so right now it's just "What is Real?"

now you see me, and now you don't drifting in and out of the aether's foldreality is a belief that you holdto hide away from the nightmares untold

[chorus:in through the out door, I've broken the sealof my mind, plea of insanity with no appealcontent with my soul's inability to feelwhat is time? what is life, and what is real?]

I have walked through the outworld's landsthrough frozen mountains and the shifting sandsfrom astral planes where none can standinto the valleys of the eternally damned

[chorus]

the skin is a disguise that I have wornever since the day that I was borntravelling into a chaotic firestormburning off the shadow of my human form

[chorus]

[bridge:time, what is time?a drifting point on a number linelife, what is life?the embodiment of chaos and strifethe soul may be bound to the earth's terrainbut the mind is free to break out from the chains]

Soooooo I haven't written anything in a while, but I had some good rhymes to use and I managed to get some (not all, so maybe there's more on the way) into a working structure to form something similar to a song. XD Unfortunately this isn't a song about my SWTOR character (I got 4 lines into that and couldn't think of anything else) but maybe I'll get to that one eventually. I wasn't really sure what to call this one so I just went with the last word of the song, which I think kinda works as a descriptor for the general feel of the song anyway.

"Decay"

can someone please tell me whythe reason I even care to tryI've no place inside of this realmsave for an eternity in hell

[chorus:and now it's getting hard to sleepwith a bleeding heart upon my sleeveand it's getting hard to tell the differencewhen the rear-view skews the distance]

and I can't find my own way outwrong lane in the the turnabouthead-on, here comes the collisionbrought 'round by my indecision

[chorus:and now it's getting hard to breathewith this weight bearing down on mewhen I push the pillow up from my headI find it's me that wants me dead]

I find it's me that wants me dead...

[bridge:roll the regret off my shouldersnow it's crashing down like bouldersface to face, look in the mirrorbreak the glass to see it clearerturn the corner, down the stairwayhaunting voices fill the airwavesin my head they scream and shoutas I try desperately to climb out!!]

[chorus:and now it's getting hard to choosewhen I've got nothing left to loseanother train of thought derailsa planned escape, to no availand now it's getting hard seethrough this darkness blinding meclouding my judgment and my wayI'm left to rot in a slow decay]

I love the choruses in this, especially the way the thing it's getting hard to do changes. I also particularly liked the line 'I find it's me that wants me dead'.

What a pity you didn't manage to write a song about your TOR character. Ethan's written some stuff on his two characters and I know Myke has written some bits about his. It'd be really cool if we started to build up an anthology of Mercury Star-Wars-character-based creative writing. XD

This is a straightforward death metal song I plunked out for no particular reason. I had a chorus for it, but it didn't really fit with the rest of the lines, so I took it out, which makes it look really short, but traditional death metal songs aren't often that long anyway.

"Reborn in Death" (for lack of anything better to call it)

force the weaklings from their homesrip the flesh straight from their bonesbloodied rivers running redwhere we dump the corpses of the dead

deadly violence is the rule of lawfeeding souls to hell's gaping mawthere's no remorse and no regretthe only certainty is death

the smell of death is getting strongerthe light of life will burn no longerit's our twisted taste for homicideand our hunger can't be satisfied

the bodycount is rising highercorpses rotting on a hellish pyrewe return their ashes to the earthto fuel humanity's rebirth

A really morbid theme, but then it is death metal. I love it. Interesting rhymes without sounding at all contrived and a rhythm that would be perfect set to music. (A pity I don't know Birthday Dethday. I'll have to try to remember to check it out when I get home form work.)

While violence isn't one of my favourite themes for a song, as almost always, I've found some parts of this one that really appeal because of the way you've used language.

Most of all I like the final verse, with that big string of rhymes. I think that fitting them in throughout the first and third lines gives a far more interesting effect than just having rhymes on the ends of pairs of lines all the time (though even when you do that, you frequently manage to come up with some really cool ones that avoid sounding unnatural or clichéd), and it also gives the effect of making the two rhymes in lines 2 and 4 stand out more, which really gives a strong ending to the verse, since the final word is 'cadaver'.

I also like the chorus (couldn't help thinking of Metallica's Fuel when I read the opening). My one comment there though would be that I felt it might have been more effective to say 'gimme your corpse on a pyre', rather than "give me", so as to continue the 'gimme' string.

I'm always wanting to write fantasy-inspired stuff but I can never quite finish anything I try to start, but I finally cranked out something that's kinda-sorta Norse mythology related, so it's a start.

"Valkyrie, Rise!"

the demon horde marches on the hillwith hate in their eyes, set for a killwe ride to meet them under the moonthough we know we now face our doom

since the demons rose it's been so longliving under rule of the devil's songwhy they fight none can rememberstill we attack with no surrender

[pre-chorus:and with each flash of their bladeValhalla's doors greet a new facethe end of our times coming truefor honor, we stand - win or lose]

[chorus:valkyrie rise, and claim your deadguide them from these fields of dreadcatch the mighty as they falland take them to the honored halls]

with burning steel, we face the legionthrough bitter colds of unending seasons"archers, ready, on your mark!send the vile ones back to the dark!"

they charge ahead through a growing pathheralding the wake of the devil's wrathstill we prepare for our final standwe'll fight and die to protect this land

[pre-chorus]

[chorus:valkyrie rise, and claim your deadguide them from these fields of dreadcatch the mighty as they falland take them to the honored hallsvalkyrie rise on this bloody nightupon your wings the dead take flightthe fallen souls will be set freeand soon I know you'll come for me]

[bridge:forging onward, they advancefighting still, we have no chancemy brothers falling one by oneI know this day cannot be wonI watch the last defender bleedas the darkness closes in on me]

[pre-chorus:and with a flash of their bladethe final death stroke is madein the end, the battle is lostthe fate of our land is the cost]

I find that quite poignant. I think it's the idea that it's not just the character and his battle companions who are lost, but the land they're fighting for too, due to their failure. And it makes me wish you'd write the story that leads up to this fated battle. XD

this holiday of April Fool'ssuch a devious little toolfor masterminds of trickeryand good ol' fashioned dickeryan entire day of clever rusesone delights while one confusesbring your Google Nose to townand watch as Youtube gets shut downlet's make Twitter vowel freeand don't forget the Half-Life 3but on this day of endless pranksjust remember and give thanksthat no one knows where you live'cuz the internet does not forgive

I don't really feel like explaining this one, and, really, it probably works better left open to interpretation anyway, so that's what we're gonna do here. :\

"Heaven Help Us"

you and I, lost in this timecan't find the reason 'cause we don't understand the rhymeleft in the dark, by a failure of the heartwhat doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but it's tearing us apart

we've been left now all alone, in a place that we call homewith the blame and the burden of a name that no one knowsall the torment and the shame, now it drags us down in flamesas we scream out to the sky, come and save us from our pain

[chorus:heaven, heaven help usthis we pray in darkest nightheaven, heaven help usgive us meaning to our livesheaven, heaven help uslead us from this road to hellheaven, heaven help uscome and save us from ourselves]

turn and run, away from the sunwill we find our salvation in a book or in a gun?casting us out, as we scream and hit the groundwill we stand above it all, or will we just keep falling down?

we say a desperate, lonely prayer, as we beg the skies to careis there someone looking back from the clouds at which we stare?all the torment and the shame, now it drags us down in flamesas we scream out to the sky, come and take us from this place

[chorus]

[bridge:heaven help us, this we praylead us to a better dayheaven help us, hear our crygive us meaning to our livesheaven help us, lead the wayfrom the path of our decayheaven help us, God abovelet us see the light of love, again...let us see the light...this we pray in darkest night...]

Sorry for the very late reply. I was waiting for a time when I wasn't focussed on work and keeping up with RPs (and, I have to confess, spending much of what spare time I did have in TOR - maybe Klarth is right to claim it eats people's souls ).

I really like this song. I can think if several scenarios for which it would be very fitting. I most especially liked the chorus, and then the bridge which echos so many of the words of the chorus, with the effect that it really draws attention to the new phrases and the slight change in emphasis from focussing on the threat of destruction to the possibility of salvation (whether that's seen in religious terms or in terms of a light at the end of the tunnel in the singer's life).

This is basically another "kill everything everywhere" song. This one's kinda weird to boot, but it's been floating around in my head for a while and I finally got it out in some form, so even if it is an oddity it's still better than unused lines clogging up my memory banks. XD

"Murder By Numbers"

one bloody bullet from a guntwo, the end is coming soon for youthree, let's start this killing spreefour motherfuckers hangin' from a tree

[pre-chorus:and you might find my measures drasticwhen I dig your grave and close the casket]

I think the fact that this one is weird works in its favour. Definitely a very original idea in the context of such a theme. Nice structure too. I particularly like the rhyme and rhythm in the chorus: a wonderful choice of language.

Hey there, writing thread. It's been a good while. How've you been? Bored? I hear ya. So I was thinking...maybe we could get back together, and post songs? Just like old times?

Yes, surprisingly, I'm back (for today, anyway) with something new! After almost 2 years! Because I had nothing better to do, I guess!

So anyway, you're probably wondering what the new material is like, if I've sold out to the man and started pumping out radio-friendly hits that will eventually end up on Kidz Bop albums. Well, hopefully this won't, because it's not very good, as I'm a bit rusty. :p This song came from the fact that, uh, guys who think men's rights is a thing are apparently complaining about the new Mad Max movie. So the name of this song is an abbreviation for men's rights activists. Or activism. Either way.

"MRA"

there's a change in the winds, a march on the moveanother day, another problem that spells our doomthey come to take our place and steal our thingsnow we toil in castles that have no kingsthe scream out for progress while spreading liestheir "truth" is aimed only at our reign's demiseit's time to make a stand, time to stem the tidewe'll put them in their place as is our right

[pre-chorus:we fear the changes that you've broughtit's not for what our fathers foughtwe'll assert our rights without a thoughtbefore we see our great land rot]

under the guise of fairness and equalitythey seek to undermine all that keeps us freetheir fires only spread to scorch our earthand strip away the rights we've held from birthwe see them taking over, reaching up to the topit's a wave of progress that only we can stopso take a note, here's our list of demandswe must retain control of the kingdom's lands

[pre-chorus and chorus]

[bridge:so take your wants and take your needs, compare them to our mighty deedswe paved the way, we broke the mold, but only you could be so boldto think you're strong, to think you're right, to think we'll lie down with no fightwhat we've earned, what we've gained, they spell the truth: this is man's domain!]

I hope it was obvious (I tried to make it noticeable but not blatant) that this was written from a sarcastic and cynical point of view, because that's just how I do. :p (Also, and I don't usually get into this kind of stuff, but "men's rights" is about the stupidest goddamn thing I've ever heard in my life)

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