I am on BLagadda

Love is in the air

Tit bits .. the last few days

I have had a few very sad days for a last few weeks a few things been happening which have taken their toll , It has all made me wonder about a few things , I know one who has come to this world hast to go , today – tomorrow or some day .. basically we all have to leave .. One after the other it has to come to an end .. It all matter how we have lived that life . all those years on this planet. I remember so many people who are no more in this world but in my opinion had lived a great life , I mean I remember them so they are bound to have done a few good things .. Which again brings me to the point that Will there be anyone who remembers me .. Of will I die a death where people silently thank god .. Good riddance .. ( i know of One who will for sure.. inspite of going ga ga over the fact that I am supposedly the best friend forever.. Oh yes people I got enemies tooo and a lot of them )

We all live our life to the best we can but what happens when people die .. DO they die forever.. is it forever ? Today 25th July was my dad’s death anniversary and I have been remembering a few things .. I know people say he is up there and he can see me .. but how do we know that ..

Some say that he is in a beautiful place and he is happier but again same question ?

A lot of these thoughts have been coming to my mind.. Do such questions trouble others too ..

I have been thinking a lot about him, I was sitting with a family friend yesterday and they were telling me so much about dad, Since her husband was one of his best friends even if we were related to each other .. Various emotions were going through at one stage I felt like crying but I did not, That reminds me I have not cried at all since Dad has passed away.. I have had tears swelled but I cant remember them falling.. .. Dont know why .. AM I THICK SKINNED or as they say COLD HEARTED or have a iron heart that doesnot feel sadness .. I dont know ..

What is it being sad.. what is it.. how do you feel sad..

I know I started this article with saying I have had a few sad days , But truthfully ahhhhhhhhh I don’t know , I have not been sad , Its been normal days , I have worked , worked and workeddddd .. Now I am thinking if I should be posting this article at all as I myself can’t make any sense out of it ..

At work its been the same Politics at its best, people back biting each other the so-called GOOD mates for the sake of showing off , or being in good books of seniors suddenly try the best they can to jeopardise you… sometimes I hate myself for being the way I am good or bad I don’t know.. but then we can’t please everyone can we.. Is it crime these days to think the way I think ..

for me family and friends are sacred friendship isn’t empty word it implies responsibilities , obligations respect for each other ..

I know that whatever happens I will always respect my friends, its up to them if they wanna do that towards me or not 🙂

Sometimes you just want to talk to yourself and a blog provides a great sounding board. You did right by posting your thoughts here. We, your readers, can make perfect sense of what you are going through. Your myriad of emotions are making you think in too many directions at the same time. There is no solution to it, because there is no problem there in the first place. It is just something that time will take care for you. You just have to let yourself flow with the tide. Now is such a time.
Condolences on your dad’s death anniversary.

YEs I know and i must say it has helped .. and what has helped me much much more is reading all these comments , I mean blog has been so good to me .. so many good people .. good humans i have met .. It does feel that i am blessed ..
you read all this and then write suck lovely comments that will bring a smile anytime on my face whatever the situation.. THANK YOU.

I hope and pray that all you good people are always smiling 🙂
Thank you…

I liked your definition of friendship. Even though you might attract a few false friends, your qualities will also attract a lot of good friends. So, why lose all those good friends for a few false ones?

Good that u wrote abt it…its a good thing to write abt matters close to ur heart out on a space like ur blog. And abt not having cried at all…i think what u did was u buried urself deep in work and u never let go of what happened….this happens when u don’t quite want to believe wht has happened.

All i have to say is that u r a good human being and i hope ur friends cherish having u in their life. 🙂

Yeah i think thats what i did and I went to look for help from someone who did not appreciate it.. anyway I guess what you say its right .. THank you for saying such beautiful words and saying I am a good human being.. THANK YOU so very much it means a lot to me ..

Hi Bikram, have been reading your blog for quite sometime but commenting for the first time!
your post made me think about somethings – We usually say this to other people that a person who has died is watching them, is at peace, etc. But I guess its usually because that’s what we are supposed to say! I wonder how many people sit down to think whether its really true! Now that I am thinking about it, I think people who die are at peace because they do not have to deal with human suffering anymore. We can never know what happens when people die but I do believe that everyone has a soul. And your actions in life would influence how peaceful your soul is.. This is of course my belief and imagination, and I don’t know how I developed this. From reading about your dad earlier, I think he is a wonderful soul and would be at peace wherever he is!
Secondly, about crying, when I started college and living in a hostel, I was very sensitive and used to cry when I was hurt. But then eventually, I just became immune to a lot of things. I don’t know if I can say that I am ’emotionally stronger’ or not. Its been 6 years since I left home and now a lot of things around me don’t affect me that much. Whether its good or bad, this is what life does to you! So don’t worry about it, you are a nice person with a warm loving heart..

Hi, Welcome ot this blog.. thank you so much for coming and spending time reading what i write .. Please do keep coming ..

I can understand what you are saying.. i guess you are right that people who have gone are at peace at least they dont have to go through all this heartaches and the bad things in the worls anymore .. yes its right we dont know where they go ..
YES i do beleive in what you are saying.. that its what we do and how we live our life that dictates how peaceful we will be ..

He was a lovely person I know, i havenot heard anyone ever say anything wrong about him.

I was tooo .. i was sensitive too and hostel life has taught me to be tougher maybe thats what it is .. 6 years ais a long time .. I have been away from home from my 6th class and till now .. all through it was college and now i have come to uk ..

I am glad that you find me as a nice person Thank you.. but then it is said that Good people and good human beings always find the other good 🙂

Hi Purba.. Its does feel good .. and its helps in knwoing that there are so many good human beings as you who have taken the time out of there precious time to read and feel what i wrote and comment .. Thank you

It’s a touching write up you know Bikram…striked a cord with me somewhere…well I dunno the last time I cried and that too when I really wanted to pour it out…I no I’ve cried once or twice in this month but that too for irrelevant reasons looking back now I question myself why did I cry ?? Was it the pent up emotions that came out after too long or just something that is beyond my explanations I dunno I’m at loss of words…..

Talking about friendship I would love to say your friends are really lucky to have you as a friend…and I hope they realize your worth!

I feel the same way when I think about mom. As much as I’d like to believe that I’ll meet her again someday, I feel that there is nothing after life. We make up these stories to console ourselves. And, where is justice? Why do the good ones go away and the horrible, criminal ones just thrive — there must be no God either.

And, as far as shedding tears is concerned, what is it with you Punjabi men? I see the same trait in my husband too (he is a Punjabi). Why can’t you guys shed tears when you feel like it? No one will think that you are sissy, and you will get it off your chest. It’s okay to grieve or feel hurt once in a while. Even though a woman, I don’t cry much, pretty rare. But a touching movie, memory, a sweet gesture triggers tears and I don’t stop them! It is liberating, try it!

I am also starting t ofeel that way that there is no after life .. yeah true we console ourselves .. yupp good ones always go early .. Here I am still ALIVE and also the people who have done dirty on me .. dont know about if god is there or not .. but then god I guess takes care of Good people thats why he takes them early and leave the likes of Me here ..

🙂 Made me smile the Punjabi men line he he he he, I have stopped for when i cried I did it for wrong people and with wrong people who did not have a clue or did not give a damn about emotions , Someone who said they respeted my father like there own and then …. ah well anyway
yes Mam I am sure no one will think of us as sissy .. BUT punjabi men dont cry .. NO IF NO BUTT SIRF JATT 🙂 he he he he

Okay Jatt ji, so, don’t cry for the wrong people, only the right ones :). And, there are so many people who lie to our faces; once we know their true colors, it is better to stay away from the. What else can we do, we can’t reform everyone! And, you know what if God cared for good people, he’d leave them behind to make earth a better place, not leave all crooks, criminals and terrible people to destroy earth. I am becoming too rational, I guess :).

I can almost feel what you are feeling Bikram… This post is written in one of those moments when you are missing your dad, hurting and wondering about life…. I have no answers.I lost mine too and on certain days, it hurts like hell. Everything adds up and I wonder why?

Yes mam.. Thank you it does .. it does so much.. I hope we get a reply to this WHY…
I dont know if i want to remain this way .. as i have said in my earlier posts I want to be MEAN .. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I firmly believe that my Dad is up there n looking at me all the time, blessing me from there itself and this particular feeling prevents me from doing anything wrong, which he never wanted me to do….

and Bikram we all go through these pahses of life, it shows that you are a normal human being…..it happens and the best way to come out of it is by sharing it with your near ones and you did right thing by sharing it here….

sometimes it does hurt when our relatives n friends play with our feelings n our JAZBAAT….

Yes irfaan I think so too but sometimes doubts do come over .. YEs i shared it with all you lovely people and i do think i did the right things reading all the comments from so many .. I am so blessed that i have such great friends like you …

yeha they play with the jazbaat I know how and its the makes me so mad and angry .. I have not asked anything nor have i ever interferred in your life then WHY the hell are you doing so with mine .. leave me alone …

Kya baat kahi hai irfaan.. yes We are idiots and simply emotional fools we keep going to people who hurt us thinking it will change this time but they are so good and professional in hurting us ..

Hello Sandhaya bhen Thank you .. I dont know about if i am good or bad , I am ME 🙂 and yes i do have great friends like you who read my rants and my silly thoughts and give me advice and tell me right from wrong .. thats what a friend does and you do it all the time .. Thank you.

and we all deal with grief in our own way-sometimes there is a sadness lurking somewhere that we can’t put a finger on and the routine of life keeps snubbing it away-but it is never really gone.
accept it and then move on-loads of love to you…you know na I have loads of it for you:-)

maybe .. but looking in past jsut makes me think i spent some irrelavant time with irrelavant people and wasted so much time with them when i could have spent time with my dad .. or done something better ..

Hey! Not crying doesn’t make you cold-hearted. I think it only means that you are stronger than many. And thats a good thing.
There are lots of questions which do not have any answers or we don’t know them. Sometimes we need to accept this to be at peace with the world and ourselves. Sometimes its okay not to know everything.
I don’t know if your dad is watching you or not , but he would have been really proud of you if he was there. And from how you talk of your family and friends, I don’t think they can afford not to miss you.
When I get sad, I tell myself what has always been told, “This too shall pass”. 🙂 Take care now 🙂

Many times when we have questions, doubts and are unsure of our feelings, its good to write it all down. It has always helped when I’ve done that.
Hope you are feeling a lot better after writing it all Bikram. And it all definitely makes sense.
Take care!

Bikram, I know it is tough to bear the loss of your dear ones, but they always remain in your heart and memories.Only crying and shedding tears does not mean that you feel the sadness.It is good that you wrote and published this post. Remember the saying, “Happiness increases and sadness decreases after sharing”
.Regarding some friends being your enemies, it’s nothing new. it happens everywhere. When these so called friends see that you are successful and popular they become jealous.

Yes they are always in our hearts and memories and the way i live I think they will always be ..
Thank you Shobha ji for the kind words,
yes you are so right in saying that I am happy i have found so many people who are concerned and enquiring .. sharing does help for sure …

I respect you for whatever i read about you and from you on this page.
And I feel and have faith that you are not cold hearted just ’cause you did not cry.
You are a wonderful person to know and I am glad i came across you in blogosphere !

Crying is just one form to express the sorrow. A lot of time men don’t cry as it is not considered a man’s approach. Men don’t show in tears but keep it inside but is shows on the face and body though. And most men do miss the lost loved one. Obviously you do miss your dad a lot.

Bick..we all know that its gonna end …But how? its destined for each of us by him…live in your present ,make best out of it…you cannot plz everyone ….
Tears represent the grief But strong men don’t cry ..that’s wht it indicates…
make your dad happy wherever he is and try to follow his footsteps if you really respect him.
Cheers…life is full of surprises!

Sorry for your Dad, Bik. No matter how many years had passed, death isn’t something easy to forget.

I have the same opinion as yours about friendship. I hate loosing a friend but being closed to someone means responsibility…so more friend more responsibility…but I can live with that 🙂 for your Dad, Bik. No matter how many years had passed, death isn’t something easy to forget.

I have the same opinion as yours about friendship. I hate loosing a friend but being closed to someone means responsibility…so more friend more responsibility…but I can live with that 🙂

friendship is sacred people dont take it that way , wish they do .. world will be a better place to live in and we will all be happy.
It does not matter how many friends if you are a good person then I am sure one can handle the responsiblilty ..
thank you so much.

Everyone goes through such phases and tries to seek answers to questions which they know cannot be answered. This world is very complex and sadness is a part of it. You can’t escape it. And to be honest you shouldn’t even try. It makes you count your blessings and appreciate happiness even more.

Family and Friends should always be treated with respect and love. They are the ones who give you courage and strength to overcome all the obstacles in life.

we all at some point in our life have had to face situations like this. i lost my father when i was in college & few years later my mother too. its never easy. sometimes u think about them so much & miss them. sometimes u cant believe they r not there. u feel their presence. u r right: one day everything, everyone will go. u & me too

hey Bikram…Cheer up Man….These days too would pass…and soon u would back with ur Tikkas and Biriyanis and songs and all…

People who left us are our memories…But for them, we r their thoughts…So, remember, the loved ones u have lost, is still there, just near u…looking after u…and they wouldnt appreciate the tears falling off ur eyes..especially not ur dad…thts why, ur eyes just welled without a drop flowing off…Be happy…

And regarding the office stuff…Wait for my post..tht I MIGHT post any day from now…and then decide, r u facing the worst…hmm…So just be thankful u have atleast people who act good with u atleast at times…

Take care Bikram ! Hugs coming your way..please don’t let office politics get at you.. and yes relationships are sacred.I’m sure wherever your dad is he is looking at you with pride at the wonderful and sensitive human being you are..

Whenever i’m in trouble or feel cheated by good friends, I just have this to say ‘ This too shall pass’.
Like every dark cloud this too will pass. I know it’s easy to say, but take care. everything will fall in place.

Lets hope this too passes soon enough. I have a different problem if i feel cheated then I want to Know Why they did it .. If i dont do it why should anyone do this to me or rather how Dare they do it ..

Thank you so much for the kind words yes true nothing can replace a loved one whoever they are

I was reminded of the lines
“Nor love thy life, nor hate; but what thou liv’st/Live well,
how long or short permit to heaven.” — John Milton
Death is a transition from one birth to another.There is nothing to feel sad about it
though memories of departed soul lingers behind.

Yeah at times our tears get jammed inside insofar people assume us hard skinned. I remember the day when my grandfather died. I never thought my father, my uncles and relatives would ever cry like a helpless child and seeing them crying tears rolled out from my eyes too. May your father soul rest in peace. And politics isn’t only at offices, nowadays sadly its in colleges too.

Sometimes when grief is too deeply felt…tears refuse to flow…that doesn’t make u a bad person…
i found life is too precious and short to waste it on the undeserving…a handful of loved ones is often enough to live and motivate. Good introspective post.

We all feel this low some time or the other and it is just one of those days.. hope you feel better after sharing…but dealing with the death of a loved one is hard and I understand that.. frankly speaking, shows of John Edward and James Van Prague helped me the understand the perception of death and I do get connected to the loved ones that have passed on to the other world..

Wow..you already have 123 lovely comments! I dont know wot else to say! except you have a nice page and I liked it and that Em gonna stalk you from now on..hope you wouldnt mind..(Ofcourse you wont! who doesnt like Stalkers on their Blog..right?;p)

Hi Bikram,
Whatever you may say no one can control tears when it comes to them, maybe you control their spilling but you cannot control their welling up, so it is better to let them flow freely, it can be very relieving, and would also make you feel great after you have done that. If you keep suppressing the emotions that wants to break free you are only making way all kinds of ailments come and make your body their home. What is not healed in the mind manifests itself on your body.
One can’t be thinking of the good and bad always and keep breaking our heads, it s better to let go, and do the things that you feel is right for yourself, and let others go to hell, for it is not our job to worry about them.
You did a good thing about blogging about your feelings, it is a good starting point.

Yes I think you are right . I hope so too man .. I hope so tooo.. Lets emotions go free well you need ot have that person who you can with ..
I understand what you say that what i not healed in mind brings a lot of problem later on ..

yes mam I have learnt to let go now but got a long way to go hopefully one day I will be albto do it .. Thank you for reading and spending so much time 🙂

There is no sure shot way of having answers to these questions Bik. But whenever I think of it…I hope she’s in a happy place. I however am sure she’s with me all the time. It’s funny, but I don’t miss her at all at times and I’m sure its her way of saying im still here. Whenever I need her, I call onto her and I feel this peace and calm…and anything I ask for is done…and then I’m reassured…she is with me and praying for me. It’s hard Bik…but the thought of having an angel with you at all times keeps you going.

1. “Which again brings me to the point that Will there be anyone who remembers me .. Of will I die a death where people silently thank god .. Good riddance”

For a blogger who gets anywhere between 75 to 150 comments, do you think you will NOT be remembered??? Strange why you should be thinking this way. 😦 I shifted my blog to wordpress and very very few have followed me there. 😦

OK Jokes apart, Bikram, if you are a good person, people will remember you because acche logon ki kami mehsoon hoti hai sabko. Now, I know what you will say to that: “I am good for some and bad for some..” well, that applies to everyone. To me as well. There must be people cursing me today in some corners of the world. But then, doesn’t make me ‘bad’ as in ‘good riddance’ simply because I can look at myself in the mirror and feel self-respect.
Same for you too.

2. “what happens when people die”.. I have done a whole lot of introspect and study on this, and I have not found my answers yet. But I know that there is a life after death and the soul moves on to another body to continue in its journey to salvation. The soul has to keep going forward until its credits and debits are settled and it reaches the ultimate one.

3. Your Dad, from all that you have written about him now and in your previous blog posts, must be proud of you, definitely, but I believe he has moved on to fulfill his other duties… like the same way he brought you up in this life with such values and upbringing. His blessings still remain with you, always and forever.

4. Absolute grief ensures that tears don’t fall. It happens to some people, as a defense mechanism for not being able to accept the source of grief.

5. Anyone being your friend is a lucky person with that last line that you wrote. Family and friends should always be important.

May all your wishes be fulfilled and more importantly, may all your questions be answered.

Well first of all thank you for taking os long reading the post and then commenting .. and no you have not bored me ..

Well yeah i got a lot of comments and as i say i guess i am blessed to have such lovely people around ..
Well how do you know I am a good person , one cant know by reading what i write i can be making this all up and writing only the good things .. 🙂

I guess no one has found the anser to that question .. hmm life a after death . I better be good dont want god to punish me in that life now .. hopefully i will a lottery in that life 🙂

I never thought that way that absolute grief stops someone from crying …
No Punam I am happy and proud and lucky to have all you guys as friends in my life …
thank you so much for the wishes … Jsut one wish at the moment would be ok .. the jackpot a lot of problems will go away with jsut that 🙂

Its good to know there are still people out there who believe in being good and respectful towards others no matter what. You’re a good person bikram, i am sure your dad is watching over you even today 🙂

A father or mother is someone we can never replace and we often do not realize this when they are around. I am glad that you have good memories of your times with your father. About work and colleagues- forget them! As you say, family and good friends are all that matter! Cheer up!

all such question vex us Bikram time and again. yes none can tell what is out there. but no matter how empty i feel some times, i still feel at others that its not a void out there.. that life is about growth and not cessation. that we keep living life and keep growing with it gaining experience on our ways. n well as for feeling sad leme tell u dear its not all that bad if u dont feel sad 🙂

Keep going on with your usual grit and determination Bikram. 😀 Like you said, we can’t please everyone. In fact, more often than not, we need to take time out to think about ourselves and do what makes us happy. Good luck to you and keep smiling! 😀

Look around! I am sure you will find someone who isn’t doing AS WELL. Someone who has lost more. Look at those individuals, and there you go – You should feel a little better about yourself. (psst – Once you are feeling better, see if you can do something to help out the guy, you know – good karma and all that bla bla).

If you can’t find someone who is doing worse, send me an email. My stories do manage to trump most depressing life stories.

About your question:
”
DO they die forever.. is it forever ? …
he is up there and he can see me .. but how do we know that ..
Some say that he is in a beautiful place and he is happier but again same question ?
A lot of these thoughts have been coming to my mind.. Do such questions trouble others too ”

These questions come into a lot of heads. Anyone who claims to have answers to these is either delusional or dishonest… OR BOTH (picked that phrase from a tele show, can’t recall which one).

In my case, I wouldn’t want my father to be seeing me. I had disappointed him enough (during his life) to last him a couple of lifetimes. There is no reason why the disappointment should continue even after he has left this miserable world.

Life after life / death (depending on your take on the entire ‘life’ nonsense), doesn’t really sound like such a good idea. I mean… think about it – faaltu ka tension, marne ke baad bhi duniya waale chain se nahin rehne denge kya!?