Does Anna Lynn McCord understand the irony between calling you a “wild child” and saying you’re on a trip to Israel in the same interview? Because I do, and I love it. I really really reeeeeeallly hope some day I can confirm all these crazies ideas I have about you being some wild and crazy party kid but down home good ol Christian boy who goes on mission trips, loves his momma and does mammogram videos with her. Because shiz like this only makes me wish for it harder.

Of the few news items I read about twi people today, this interview were AnnaLynn mentions you going to Israel was the only one that made me laugh. You, on a tour of Israel, or as my grandparents like to call it: The Holy Land! All I can picture is you getting baptized in the Jordan river by Jackson Rathbone, then taking a float in the Dead Sea in your Calvin manties, after a drunken night of trying to turn water into wine you run to the beach telling your tour group you’re going to show that Peter dummy how that whole ‘walking on water’ thing works. Spoiler alert: you make more splashing sounds then a drowning victim.

So really the only answer as to why you could be in Israel is because you must be on a goodwill tour of the middle east because I can’t think about you on a tour of the Holy Land without laughing really hard. It’s good though since you’re now into giving back and charity and such because if anyone can bring peace to the middle east, it’s you with some Calvin Kleins under your caftan.

Kellan is my Shepherd, I shall not want,
Themoonisdown

So I guess the VMA’s happened last night. But if the trinity wasn’t there to make it awkward or present a clip from their home videos from their summer vacay them I’m not interested. Anything I missed? But really, why is Kellan in Israel? Ideas?