Dementia Support Group

Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...

Where do we start - now?

Just joined the group tonight, and I really need some immediate feedback, if anyone has time or insight.
My dad is 71, lives on his own, and has had a very up and down year. He doesn't have any history of mental illness, but we were forced to have him hospitalized/evaluated last year after he very suddenly began having hallucintions and was delusional, was driving and losing his cars, withdrawing and losing huge portions of his life savings, and a number of other very odd behaviors (phones taken apart, notes all over the house, things put in odd places in the house). His evaluations were pretty inconclusive, other than that he was experiencing a "psychotic episode". He had been drinking very heavily and chain smoking cigars for several days prior to his symptoms beginning, so there seems to be some correlation there. After a few weeks of medications and observation, he was released to his own care, and seemed to do pretty well for almost a year. No meds during that time.
This winter he has acknowledged having troubles remembering things, and has kept a pretty junky house, neglected bathing and washing his clothes, etc. We thought we were beginning a fairly gradual descent into dementia.
However, a friend convinced him that Hydrocodone would be good for his back pain, and things quickly went downhill. He was on it for a few weeks. During that time, he has been defensive, having trouble driving, hard to reason with, impulsively bought a puppy which he allowed to leave messes all over his house, the house is a mess, etc.
He stopped the meds last week, and is much calmer this week.

But tonight my sister went over to see him, found the house not too bad, but he had withdrawn $20K of his small savings, bought almost $5K worth of slot machines/pool table/jukebox, etc, and replaced his dining room furniture with it all. He has grandiose plans to invest in odd schemes to get rich quick from the rest of it. He told her he was sideswiped by a semi the night before, wrecking one of his cars.

And he plans to get on the road in the morning and drive to see each of my brothers and sisters and I. (We live in a big circle that stretches from IA to CA, and he has made this trip each of the last few years, when things were better.) He is very calm, happy, organized in planning his trip, but obviously delusional.

We are at a loss. Where do we even start?? What is our responsibility? There is no way he should be driving, yet he has a license and would never let my one sister who lives in town stop him. I have never felt so ignorant or helpless. Any insight??

First, I would start with the doctor who say him at the hospital or his regular doctor. Yes, they have to respect patient privacy and they can't RELEASE information about him BUT I have found that they will accept information. Maybe write the doctor a letter expressing your concerns and his activities. The second thing I would do is notify the DMV, they have a way for you to alert them of a dangerous driver and they will call him and have him come in for a written test and behind the wheel testing. He is a danger on the road. If ANYONE found out that his family suspected that he had dementia and did nothing to stop him from driving they might come after the family. This is a big IF but it is a possibility. He will not be told who reported him so you don't have to worry about him lashing back at you for this.

Also, contact the local Alzheimer's Association, almost every county has one and they can give you some advice.

I would contact a family attorney to discuss temporary power of attorney options, or at least give you HIPPA rights. Based on the information you provided, there could be other causes for his behavior beyond Dementia/Alzheimer's. I had a friend that had severe depression and a sleep disorder, but all of her behavior suggested it was dementia when it was not.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.