Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Last week was our big test-taking TAKS week here in the Lone Star state, but wouldn’t you know it there was lots of buzz throughout the EduSphere over tests, cheating and testy teachers.

Lucky me, I got to babysit part of the time and then administer the test the other two days. I’d tell you about it, but this stuff is so supersecret even CIA supersleuthes can’t crack it, and if I divulged any of this, well, I’d have to pull your liver out your nose.

So since the world appears to be in a test-taking frenzy, let’s just go with the flow here and use the test-takers motif. (And, for those non-literary types, I semi-sort of have a serious alliteration thing going, too. See how easily amused I am? Oh, and yes, I ripped the test idea from Mr. Teacher’s last week’s post “Are You More Cynical Than A Third Grader.”)

OK, OK, OK, let’s cut out the shenanigans and seriously get this shebang underway.

Directions: Read each question carefully and select the response that best answers the question.

1. Who decided to weigh in on the Carl Chew Controversy and brouhaha over Chew’s refusal to administer a standardized test?a. Kinky Friedmanb. Larry Ferlazzoc. Brouhaha? What’s a Brouhaha?!d. Do you have a No. 2 pencil?

2. Attorney John Phillips offers his advice on…(a) Teachers Gone Wild(b) Mr. Teacher’s t-shirt sales(c) Why Bellringers shouldn’t whack children with her rubber chicken(d) Can I go to the bathroom?

3. Joanne Jacobs tells us about a successful San Diego school who implemented…(a) the Webster Way(b) My Way or the Highway(c) What way?(d) Can I sharpen my pencil?

5. The Columbus Education Association will commemorate the 25th anniversary of what event with a series of guest blogs:(a) The Time Warp(b) A Nation At Risk(c) Did I mention I needed a pencil?(d) None of the above

7. According to I Want To Teach Forever, here’s what teachers really want for Teacher Appreciation Week…(a) a new job(b) more professional development/teacher inservice (yeah, right)(c) summer(d) this stuff

8. If a=b and c=z and Led Zeppelin sings “Stairway to Heaven," then why is Andrew so grumpy?(a) Who’s Led Zeppelin?(b) bx=170(c) rubbish (just because it’s fun to say, sorry, Andrew)(d) because if you had to listen to this conversation about God, you would be too.

9. Who ends up working for free?(a) Tween Teacher(b) All teachers(c) No teachers(d) A & B

10. Who ends up serving at the pleasure of administrators?(a) Why we all do, silly.(b) Ms. Cornelius(c) Alice Cooper(d) Loosey-goosey?

Questions that fall (rather willy-nilly)in the inside the classroom genre

15. And speaking of Mr. Teacher, this week he delves into(a) promoting his book(b) promoting his t-shirts(c) responsibility(d) all of the above

16. According to NYC Educator (who btw hopes you disagree), what is the best to teach…(a) Penguins(b) ESL(c) Willy-Nilly(d) A & C

17. Jim McGuire at the Reading Workshop asks what interesting question…(a) Who am I and why am I here?(b) Can I sharpen my pencil?(c) Are texting, IM’ing, MySpace, Facebook, blogging and email ruining the next generation of writers, or will they make them the best ever?(d) Just how many t-shirts has Mr. Teacher sold and why hasn’t he sent me one?

18. Should the Scholastic Scribe slap some serious punishment on little Miss Sophomore for(a)putting on make up in class(b) using words off the Yuck list (c) attempting to cheat(d) Who me? I wasn’t talkin’ Miss.

19. Need some pointers on how to how to teach speaking, then(a) Eat some chocolate (sorry I was hungry)(b) Go see Eric at Teachers Call(c) Miss, why can’t we talk?(d) Where’s Willy and why is he nilly?

20. How is logic like whiskey?(a) You can set them both on fire.(b) Ask Humpty Dumpty(c) Check out Let’s Play Math(d) 1+1x2x1 gajillion

21. If you need some info on open source tools math, then you should(a) Check out Teaching College math(b)Run away before your head explodes(c)Can you give me another eraser?(d) x+yamisostupid

22. And keeping with the math and I’m-so-stupid theme, I included IB a Math Teacher’s math bingo because…(a) I pretend to know math(b) I pretend to like math(c) I pretend to understand math humor(d) all of the above

23. Did the Middle School Monkeys survive the China experiment?(a) yes, but barely(b) where’s China?(c) No one told me I had to learn geography(d) Where’s the rubber chicken?24. What is the purpose of going to school?(a) to drive your teacher crazy(b) to borrow as many #2 pencils as possible(c) to get an education(d) to learn to…

25. Who am I, why am I here and can I really remember 90 percent of what I’ve taught?(a) maybe(b) not sure(c) what was the question?(d) See what Mathew Needleman has to say

26. According to Ms. M, the lunches in Mississippi are…(a) so delicious & fan-tab-u-lous(b) mediocre(c) rather disgusting(d) lunch? did someone mention lunch?

27. The Science Goddess…(a) finally “gets it” when it comes to technology(b) encourages a revolution of sorts(c) A & B (d) Whoa, what about that lunch thing?

28. Clix over at Epic Adventures Are Often Uncomfortable…(a) had such an easy week she sat around and ate bon-bons(b) had such a difficult week that me-myself-and-I actually felt sorry for her(c) wants to know where the appreciation is in Teacher Appreciation(d) Jeez Louise

29. Homeschooler Missy talks about…(a) witnessing history(b) life in the middle(c) the importance of witnessing her children’s milestones(d) all of the above

Well, Jeez Louise, I’m about red-eyed and just about cross-eyed from reading a gajillion submissions this time. I hope you did well on this little test, and if not, well, just blame a teacher…and next time make sure they teach to the test.

Creative, creative, creative! Your blog is the one in the universe that's getting me more and more into this blogging janx. Thanks for including the Humble Scribe! I've already entered next week's carnival! If I could only figure out how to do the little underlined word thingys that link to other sites...hmmmmmm....

Buy the book or the chicken gets it!

**************************Just a reminder that the opinions here are mine and mine alone…but hey, you probably already knew that. Oh, and one other thing, no clients, students, The Chicken, other rubber chickens or animals of any kind were harmed in the creation of this blog.

And don’t forget to check out my website…

Search This Blog

About Me

ShareThis

Get Richie On Oprah & Save the Chicken!'s Fan Box

My "proper mug"

This is the photo shot by my buddy Mike McLean. I originally had it as my profile photo but everytime I posted a comment, this rather large photo would follow along. I found that, well, rather annoying, and I hate it when I annoy myself. So now I'm posting with a bunch of monkeys which sadly is probably a bit more accurate. I have left this photo up only because Mike is such a fab-u-lous photographer and because he insists I need to have some sort of "proper mug" on my site. Apparently, the boa one and the monkey one don't qualify. Go figure.