Boxmasters

Is it just me, or does it seem that most movie stars wanna be rock stars too? I mean, toss a dart in Hollywood and you’ll hit some actor who thinks he’s got the chops to rock out and the simple fact is, 99.9% of them suck at it! Why is it that Billy Bob Thornton, Kevin Bacon, Jared Leto and Russell Crowe all think they can force Bono to the unemployment line? Is the music biz so devoid of talent that there are record executives who think Juliette Lewis, Dennis Quaid and Kevin Costner need recording contracts? Can’t actors just be happy with taking huge paychecks for prancing around in front of a camera and leave my ears in peace?!! I guess not, ‘cuz now comes ‘Break Up’, the second simply God-Awful album from Scarlett Johansson. Apparently ‘inspired’ by the ’60’s duets of Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot, she teams up with Pete Yorn…a great singer/songwriter who bloody well should have known better, but was probably blinded by ScarJo’s inner artist and etherial beauty! I had heard the buzz surrounding the release of this album back in the summer, but after her first lame attempt at grabbing the Golden Ring of Rock-God fame, Anywhere I Lay My Head, an ill-conceived mishmash of Tom Waits covers, I could give a damn if I never heard her disinterested moaning voice plod through another collection of self-important garbage, but then last night as I was driving back into the city, this dirge slithered outta the radio and almost forced me off the road. I am slack-jawed over how amazingly bad it is. I would gladly just jump in front of a bus in order to never have to endure the pain of listening even one more time, but I feel it’s my duty to warn all of the Friends of The List to avoid this nightmare set to music at all costs…so please listen at your own peril!!!