You Know You Have A ‘Wild Child’ When…

Here’s the truth: my kids are a bit on the wild side. The boys, especially, it seems.

I blame their Dad. I never burned down a vacant field as a kid. Just sayin’.

Here are some quick ways to know if you, too, are raising a Wild One.

1. When looking for your child, you look up. On the table, the counters, the shelves, on the top of the fridge. Looking at ground level is for tamer beasts than the one you’re raising.

2. The only person who can be counted on to undo the childproof locks is the kid. You can struggle for twenty minutes, mutter every curse word you ever knew and a few you just made up, but Junior can have that sucker open in 3.2 seconds. Or less.

3. You’ve found yourself chasing a barely dressed toddler down the sidewalk, trying to out-race him to the street. In your bare feet. In the winter. With another baby in your arms, nursing.

4. “Mom, look!” strikes terror in your heart. That eye twitch? You might get rid of it sometime after the kid is grown. Maybe.

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