I have spent the last days in my secret laboratorium and discovered a new, really dangerous, virus that spreads worse than AIDS in the 90's and turns the poor infected victims into babbling morons (latest tests have shown their brain activity is just 1% compared to the control group of normal people).besides obnoxious verbal diarhhea the 2nd main symptom are delusions caused by the virus destroying the brain areas responsible for self-perception.

this virus seems to be a mutated (and way more dangerous) version of the well known bullshitter-loudmouth-virus (discovered 1773 by Lord B.S. Loudmouth),

as the scientist who discovered it I gave the caused clinical condition the name "online overimportance delusion" (OOD).

how I discovered OOD

in the last few weeks the retard-o-meter I am using to monitor the worldwide online activity recorded an immense peak in the oh-simply-stfu spectrum, of course I had to find the origin of this peak.

I have found out the main reason was the distribution of a news story about "how the NSA spies on internet users", my theory (has to be proven in clinical tests soon) is that this story triggered the OOD virus that was until then inactive in the brain of people already infected with the bullshitter-loudmouth-virus.

for a quick self-test here is a checklist, if you answer already 1 time with "yes" you are most like infected with OOD and should commit suicide visit a doctor, if you answer with "yes" MORE than 1 time you are DEFINITELY infected with OOD and have reached phase 2 already which is uncurable and should visit a doctor commit suicide:

I always thought the internet is a safe place where things are private

I label myself as so important that the NSA would be interested in my pointless online activities (such as talking crap on FB, ordering dildos at amazon.com, etc.)

I label myself as online rebel or "underground" (but I am actually the worst case of a mainstream parrot)

I am IT illiterate but pretend I am not by showing off with stuff I just googled (but not understand)

I always thought the NSA is all about knitting pullovers and playing frisbee