My life after infertility - A diary of a frantic, insane, weird, yet very happy and content mother.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Second HCG blood test and First scan date.

Today we got up early again, firstly because I have to get up at 7am to put in my damn pessaries, rain or shine, week day or weekend I am up at 7am shoving these damn messy things in. But it's all good they are serving a very important purpose. But this wasn't the only reason we were up early, we were up and out of the house early to get into town to get my blood test done before 9am.

I guess I was a little concerned about the results just because it was the first one after the positive and I think its only natural to be a little anxious. All this was laid to rest when my lovely nurse rang and told me my HCG levels have raised from the initial 100 to 696. She explained that this was really good and there was nothing to worry about. I will be having weekly blood tests every Friday to make sure these levels continue to raise. My progesterone levels were also fairly high so guess what? I can start to wein myself off the pessaries! hooray! I can now drop to just 1 pessarie, 3 times a day, and am to do this for the next 3 days then stop. I am pretty pleased with that news, but the best and most exciting news was our first scan date being 12th July, I will be exactly 8 weeks then and we will get to see the heartbeat, how special will that be! I am not sure if I will be able to hold back the tears for that one.

Today we went into the Baby Factory for a nosey, I brought 1 very soft white blanket, that was it, that's self control for ya isn't it. This blanket was so soft and cuddly it felt like it literally just got ripped straight of a lambs back. So the reason I contained myself wasn't really because I have my addiction for all things small and soft under control more because we are going to see my parents tomorrow and me and mum are going to Pumpkin Patch for a wee shop, naughty aye.

A strange feeling I have been having over the last few days and mostly today when my nurse rang is guilt. Let me explain. For so long I have been all doom and gloom and really really struggling, so I did feel like I always deserved lots of help and comfort and love from everyone and felt like i deserved the help and time from the clinic and today when my nurse rang me I kind of felt a bit odd, just like i didn't really deserve her time and attention when there are so many other couples that need her much more. Does that make sense? I kind of felt like "its ok, I'm fine now, I can fend for myself", I know this is a bit silly as it is their job to keep an eye on me and keep looking after me for a little while yet. I also feel more sad than ever now when I am reading other ladies blogs, especially a couple that have had a failure on the same day as our success, that made me feel guilty. I know we deserve this as much as the next person and I am so grateful, I think this is why I am more grateful than say someone who conceived naturally and easily, I have been in that hard spot and know what it is like, and reaching the other side is really unbelievable and makes me feel blessed times 1000.

I still am feeling physically good, the cramps seem to be easing off, I seem to be falling asleep on the couch at night more than normal but that is all. We will hit the 5 week mark on Tuesday, every week is an accomplishment in itself to me, our little baby is growing and doing all sorts of amazing things in there.

Thanks for reading and I will be back in a few days with some amusing tales for you all hopefully, till then take care and enjoy the very creepy/amazing picture I have given you today, of an 8 week fetus (which is when I will have my first scan), courtesy of my best friend google images.

So happy for you C....you deserve this! Can't wait to follow you through your pregnancy...and thanks for your nice comment about it being hard to follow pregnancy blogs, but I promise to keep supporting me...since I know you will keep supporting me! We've been through a lot! XOXO!

Wonderful beta news! So happy for you! I completely understand about survivor's guilt - I have it too. None of us know why some of us get our dreams and some of us don't. But keep being happy - this is your job right now! :)

Excellent news my dear and great numbers....ys I am trying to enjoy being pregnant each day as it comes and dont worry about tomorrow until it comes..I think I am going to go buy a simple bond suit just one in green just something to celebrate this milestone just like you did..I think its important we enjoy it and not to worry!

I am going into my second BT on Wednesday to give me time to discuss anything with FS if necessary before he goes away this will be my second one then my scan is booked for 20th July so I will be 8.5 weeks then as he is away previous week and Id rather my FS do it then ultrasound place...

About Me

Welcome back to my blog!
After a long hard struggle to conceive, after under going many fertility treatments, after hitting rock bottom, we have now come out the other side.
this new blog will follow my journey as a new mother. I aim to perhaps provide some light entertainment,perhaps a few more tears, perhaps an escape for someone when life is looking like rain instead of sunshine.
I am a new woman, no longer plagued with un-happiness, but I still never forget how I got to this point. I hope you enjoy my future rants about everything related to motherhood, womanhood and being a domestic goddess.
I'm equipped with a 1969 sewing machine, a giant wooden spoon and a new appreciaton of how valuable a chest freezer really is.
Join me as I whip up a bib, whip up a giant pot of soup, whip up a years worth of baby food,and generally whip myself up into a blissfully mad state.
So........
Hold onto your pinnies ladies, hold onto your nappies babies, hold onto your whatever you hold onto men, because we are in for one weird fast paced ride.
Babies in bed and i'm online - OH DEAR!