The Cave Newt Pledge

Mike McNally posted this to talk.bizarre on 27 October 1994,
although it may have existed before that. Greg actually missed the posting,
but the UofC's esteemed Newsmistress, Ellen
Keyne Seebacher, kindly forwarded him a copy the next day. (The term ``Cave
Newt,'' often used in conjunction with one or more descriptive adjectives and
a pronoun, had, of course, been in common use for many years and had been one
of Greg's personal aliases for at least four.)

Upon my worthless honor I, Cave Newt, hereby pledge:

To spend my first six months with Internet connectivity
asking decent people "how to use this bboard";

To locate and retransmit the "Make Money Fast" note to
every newsgroup I frequent (that being all newsgroups
available to me);

To follow up every "Me too" response with one of my own;

To post reams of useless dreck everywhere despite the
protests of people born with frontal lobes;

To neither learn, evolve, nor shut the fuck up when I'm
told to do so.

[ Inductee now dons the Robe of Spam while receiving multiple
ceremonial blows to the head. ]