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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

CJ v. Time

Technically I guess its day 3. Day 1 was spent telling the hubby goodbye and then spending the entire rest of the day eating pizza and watching girly movies with Kelli. It is kind of hard to describe how I feel. One reason is because I don't feel the same everyday. I definitely feel like a part of my heart is missing, and I probably have a sad overtone. But I am trying to push through. I think this pregnancy might be making it a little harder too. I am so happy that we are pregnant again, but I am also probably sitting at a higher anxiety level too though. Its just always in the back of my head that I might miscarry again. I am trying super hard to be more positive. I am just trying to focus on getting to my ultrasound appointment on November 4th. Which actually helps to take the focus off the fact that its only been 3 days since the hubby left. But today everything just seems so far away. I feel like I have no control over when any of it is going to get here.
On an off note, I went to the Naval Hospital's town meeting today! I feel so good about going! I voiced my concerns and issues with the customer relations officer and told him the entire story about what happened with my miscarriage. He agreed that I was very badly treated, and he is filing a report with the heads of the OB department. I also told him how awesome Capt. Merry was, and that I really want him to know how much he helped me. So I really hope that some good words get back to him. I also really hope that my criticism actually influences some changes there. I think I'm going to make it a point to attend things like this more often. How can you expect things to change if you don't voice your opinion?
On the school front, I received some bad news....but it might have turned into good news. I got a letter form Copper Mountain College saying that I had been denied admission because my U of Memphis transcript was not sealed. This was very disappointing to me because I had spoken with the admissions director about my Memphis transcripts and she had told me not to worry about it. She was then supposed to call me.....but as you remember from previous posts, she never did. Nor did she respond to my messages or my emails. So I was quite surprised to receive a rejection letter. I called her this morning and (she answered the phone!!!) talked with her about the situation. At first she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about (even though she remembered talking with me this summer). Then once I went over exactly what was said, I think she remembered, because she immediately started talking about ways to fix it. So, I'm resubmitting my transcripts, and with all fingers crossed I might be starting nursing school again in January. I really can't wait for all this to work out.
The only thing standing in my way in all aspects of my life right now, is time.....