15 Things Women Wish Guys Would Never Wear

Let’s face it, when it comes to fashion many of us guys are clueless. Have you ever gotten the, “Are you going to wear that?” question from your wife? I just got it from our 3½ year old daughter. Really!

So help us out ladies. Think of it like this, you’ll be helping yourselves out, too. Tell us, what should guys never wear? I’ll get you started with some examples, but I need you to tell us what I’ve missed:

Men’s Gallery of Fashion Fails:

Crocs 1 of 15

I know they are lightweight, comfy and you don't need to bend your lazy butt over to put them on. Yes, they come in colors to match all those ball caps you wear backwards. Trust me on this: if you'd like to have sex ever again, don't wear them.
In case you still can't resist, purchase a pair of Crocs here.

Bling 2 of 15

How many "accessories" are too many? If Mr. T would think you're over-blinged, that's too many. If you'd drown if you fell in a swimming pool, that's too many. A wedding ring and optionally a sensible watch should do. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Skinny Jeans 3 of 15

Unless you are a skinny teenage, emo, scene or punk girl, don't wear these. In fact, even if you do fit into one of these categories (and into the jeans) ... just say "no." And if you're a guy, well, look at the picture. 'Nuff said. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Socks with Sandals 4 of 15

This photo's target rich. Let's just focus on the socks. If you are wearing sandals, do not wear socks of any color. And no, it doesn't matter what kind of sandals. Oh, and cut your toe nails or don't wear sandals. Yikes. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Speedos 5 of 15

I'm guessing most guys would say no to wearing an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini? So why stuff your junk into what is basically a bikini bottom? Unless you're a swimmer competing in the Olympics, PLEASE don't wear a Speedo. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Cargo Shorts 6 of 15

I'm a guy, so I get it. We tend to prefer function and comfort over fashion. If one cargo pocket is good, then four are great, right? Girls, back me up here ... unless you're a soldier or on safari, ditch the cargo shorts and pants. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Dockers 7 of 15

While we're discussing pants, if there is anything that screams, "Hey, I work at a soul-sucking job in a cubicle", it's Dockers. Even if you do work in a cubicle or as sales person in a large electronics retail chain, you don't need to look like it. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Skull Caps 8 of 15

These make perfect sense if you're out in the ice and snow, but I don't care how bad a hair day you are having — there is no excuse for wearing a skull cap indoors. You're not a sk8er boi. Even Avril Lavigne has grown up. You should, too. Photo Credit: Penny Mathews

Wife Beaters 9 of 15

Tell me, exactly what kind of message does wearing a wife beater send? Even if you really don't beat your wife, this is one piece of sartorial splendor you can leave out of your wardrobe. And I don't care how big your "guns" are. Don't wear them. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Fanny Packs 10 of 15

Go back and look at what I said about cargo shorts. Yes, I can see how fanny packs might be convenient, but unless you're providing emergency medical services as part of a mountain rescue team, don't wear this one. Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Turtlenecks 11 of 15

This may be a contentious one. Some guys can pull off a turtleneck. Chances are, however, you (and I) are not one of them. Oh, and about those glasses. I know the cute sales girl at the eyewear shop said they'd look sexy on you. She lied. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Capris, a.k.a.: Manpris 12 of 15

Honestly I'm surprised this really needs to be said, but I keep seeing guys wearing capri pants. The fact that Ashton Kutcher was famously photographed recently sporting a pair should drive this point home. Photo Credit: Teamestrogen via sxc.hu

Pleated Pants 13 of 15

The 80s are over, and frankly unless you were on Wall Street, the 80s sucked. So did its music and its fashions. Toss 'em. I'll also give dishonorable mention to the visible boxers. The sagging jeans with boxers showing fad has got to end. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Plaids & Stripes 14 of 15

Maybe you read the same article in Men's Health magazine that I did. It said it was okay, even cool, to mix plaids and stripes. It's not. Also, no polyester ties. If it has a warning label saying not to wear it near open flame, don't buy it. Photo Credit: stock.xchng

So what CAN we wear? 15 of 15

You tell me! Or conversely, look back through the list and tell me what I missed that you wish guys wouldn't wear? One final tip: When deciding what to wear I always ask, "What would George Clooney wear?" It serves me well. Leave a comment! Photo Credit: stock.xchng

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