“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.11): Three is a crowd

Like the gay poltergeists in your television, they’re baaaack. Det. Jane Rizzoli and Dr. Maura Isles have returned to solve Boston’s toughest crimes and bicker like an old married couple. The winter run brings us five more episodes and – with any luck – 10 episodes worth of eye sex, Totally Gratuitous, Totally Gay Touching and other assorted extremely lesbian behaviors from supposedly non-lesbian characters. So strap in and put on your subtext goggles. This is gonna be good.

Have you noticed how Rizzoli & Isles has started doing its openers in a totally different way than the rest of the show? They’re either really stylized or really violent, with a tone and pacing in marked contrast to the remainder of the episode. They also don’t use the cute little Irish jig transition music in the background. Just something I noticed while waiting for Jane and Maura to appear together to gay up my screen. In this week’s opener a witness recounts how his mentor was gunned down in front of him by the crime boss of his neighborhood, Little T.

The prosecutor (played by the entirely not terrible to look at Rosalyn Sanchez) is prepping the witness to take the stand and Jane and Korsak are there to lend support. He’s nervous, but Jane gives him a little smolder and we all sigh and thank the TV gods for returning the pure sex that is Angie Harmon’s voice to us.

The ADA is somewhat less taken with Jane and her voice, arguing with her about whether the witness is allowed to order steak at room service. Jane’s clearly not a fan, but prosecutor Valerie Delgado has never lost a murder case. Remember when Ruth told Idgie to never say never to her? Keep that in your back pocket.

Back at their desks, Korsak asks Jane and Frost which tie will look best in court. I only mention this because Korsak and Frost are totally work husbands (a little May-December, I know – but who are we to judge their inter-office love). Frost makes cracks about disco and two-for-one deals at the Gentlemen’s Warehouse. Oh, Frost – keep this up and Frankie will definitely get jealous.

Don’t call it a comeback, and definitely don’t call him a turtle, but Bass is back. A slacks-and-henley wearing Maura emerges and tries to coax her finicky tortoise into eating an assortment of exotic greens. I love how Jane’s wardrobe is rubbing off on her. Or maybe Maura just liked how much female attention she got last time in Jane’s suit and thought she’d keep the ball rolling. Either way, me likey.

Mama Rizzoli coughs from the couch, startling Maura. Mother-in-laws are always popping up when you least expect them. I hope Maura has a good lock on her bedroom door, otherwise that is a guaranteed awkward morning wake-up waiting to happen after one of Jane’s “sleepover” nights.