Friday, November 21, 2008

My Hayden,You have reached the 9 month mark. Oh, and it is a great thing. I spent many a day wondering how I would get to this moment with you. You have been a very easy baby and yet there were times I just couldn't see this far ahead. I was narrow minded and blinded by the hard times that make up everyday life with an infant. You, my dear, are not an infant any longer, you are a bouncing baby bubbling over with energy and such beauty. You are quite breathtaking. As I was hanging up your clothes one night this week I thought about those early days with you and how the light at the end of the tunnel was fogged out, barely visable. The only way I could even see it was through someone elses eyes. "It will get better, easier," they promised. Time turned, they were right. Life with you is so much better and so much easier now than it was 9, 8, or even 7 months ago. I can see tomorrow with you. Tomorrow is one day closer to yet another milestone. One that you are hell bent on mastering; however, you aren't strong to the core yet, and you continue to crash land before taking off. Here, baby, let mama help you. You are sturdy enough to stand on your own, big girl, and you can walk holding my hand. So close to walking, you are! This fact doesn't go unnoticed by you, you get very excited about being so close. You make that sucking air sound that only you make. The look of exasperation and thrill suits you, Hayden. You beam brightly, show teeth, you ooze happiness and love. It makes me feel awesome, like I'm doing something right. Speaking of teeth, you have 7, yes! 7! I think number 8 is going to make an appearance shortly. At 9 months you have 4 bottom teeth and 3 top teeth, all in the front. Teething, for you, is pure hell. You don't sleep well (which means your daddy and I don't sleep well), you pull your hair and scratch your ears, you cry, and my God does it break my heart. I can not wait for your mouth to be full of teeth and for the pain that it brings you to be a thing of the past. Papaw told me that once you got your first tooth that meant it was time for you to start eating solid food. You have been eating solids since your first tooth popped up and haven't cut back since. You will eat anything and everything that crosses within a few inches of your mouth if I let you. No longer do I even waste money buying baby food, you are capable of eating whatever it is I am eating. 3 solid meals a day. I gave you some strawberries this week along with your morning Cheerios. You made a sour face and went right on chewing and swallowing and banging the high chair for MORE MAMA!! Funny stuff right there, not the banging but the sour face. Hayden, you are Miss Independent, Miss Attitude, Miss Too Stubborn to Talk, I mean even say a word. As far as I know the only words you have ever mumbled, and have yet to mumble them on a daily basis are mama, dada and bite bite. I haven't heard mama or bite bite, I was only told that you said them. If this is any indication of the stubborness to come your daddy and I are in for it, BIG time! I contribute most of my positive attitude, and yours, to us getting enough sleep. You are awesome at going to sleep (with me holding you, which I do not mind, in the least) and sleeping in your crib until about 4 in the morning. You call for me and I come rescue you and bring you back to bed with me. Good stuff. We get to wake up to each other almost every day, occasionally you sleep in your crib all night and shock the piss out of your daddy and I. We honeslty don't mind you sleeping in our bed for a few hours each night, we might a year from now, but for now it suits us just fine. There are many things that suit us as a family, things I had no intention of letting happen. I told myself and anyone who would listen that the pacifier would be out by 6 months, that I would not soothe you to sleep after 4 months, under no circumstances would I bring you to bed with me in the middle of the night. I lied, and I am glad I did. Being a parent has changed me. I cave when it comes to you. I love that you find comfort in your pacifier (as soon as I can reason with you, in 25 years!, I will convice you to give the sucker up), feeding you and comforting you, holding you, while you fall asleep gives me what I need at the end of the day, and sleeping next to you at night and waking up next to you puts a smile on my face each and every morning (even if you do sometimes root around until you have almost pushed me off the bed, or punch me in the eye while searching for your warm blanket.) Your daddy says that you love me so much, that you get excited when I come home from work and you see me at the door, you sway front to back and suck air when I come and get you out of bed in the morning. I tell him that you better love me, a lot of time and effort went into getting us where we are today. It makes me proud to know that I am raising a healthy, happy baby girl. I can see the light and the good times ahead. We love you, Hayden, more than my words could ever do justice in describing.