We have this feeling of "high" when we do something and it drives us to keep doing it. In science, they call it the dopamine, a hormone in our brain when we get pleasure out of an activity. This can be dangerous as exercising can release this hormone and so does texting ceaselessly on the phone.

Simon Sinek , a favourite author of mine said that in one of the youtube that today's millennials suffer from lack of self esteem, living in a technologically advanced society, incorrect parenting values and the environment. If they are the only child, they were told from young that they were special and they can get anything they want. That remains true until they step into the real working world where they painfully discovered they are not that special and they cannot get everything they want. They want to make an impact but they are impatient. He gave the analogy of climbing a mountain and said that at 800 feet these young climbers are giving up because they could not make an impact. What the failed to see is climbing the mountain is a journey of ups and downs , not one that can be easily scaled in hours.

They also lived in a fast paced technological world filled with instant gratification like the likes they get from Facebook, instagram and etc. They are addicted to a device and they lack the social skills to make meaningful relationship with people. He gave the example of texting on the phone even in meetings and fail to make eye to eye contact with people in the office, thereby decreasing the bond and trust within each other.

I too feel the effect of this addiction where I have to check something, read something on the Laptop for fear of missing out something. But I don't really if I just let it be for a day or two. The world is still pretty much the same. Trend takes a long time to form and we need not be so edgy about it , obsessed to the point of checking it every now and then and sacrificing the all important people skills that we sorely lack.

What happens to picking up the phone and talk for 5 minutes with your friends instead of texting? I remembered that was what we do in the 80's to 90's but suddenly with the mobile phone penetration, all these have changed. What happened?

I believe if one is living in a remote village where it is not so advanced, where material things are less taken seriously, you would not see many using the phone and they have to travel by foot or motor cycle to go from one village to another to catch up with each other. This inconvenience is what we pay for now in the form of convenience where we are so closed to one another virtually that we can contact anyone in the world. Is this good or bad ? I think it depends on the context.

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This is my action plan, from the time my kids come home , I will not check my laptop and handphone and be with them, play cards , Tv , anything they want. And spend some quality time with my spouse as well. We lived with humans but spend more time interacting with devices more. This is absurd and they must change.

When you perceived that your options are limited and the opportunity presented forward may not be the most ideal, you tend to think :"what if there isn't another better one?" . Even if there is one, how much longer are you going to wait? Each passing day seems like eternity as you continue to pin on hope and work on your goals.

Faith grows as we gain more experience on a particular matter, take interview as an example. The more interviews you go, the less fearful you are as the questions would be on average the same with a slight twist based on the industry. So your confidence grow, knowledge improved and faith strengthen as well. More importantly, you are not relying on your own intelligence but doing your utmost best as what all should do but praying to God to give you signs that this is the job for you.

For me, I look at both external and internal. External meaning the place, the role you are applying and can range from compensation to many other things like clocking hours. Internal would refer to your feelings - how do you feel towards the person who interview you, the one you report to and the general feel you get from touring the office (if you get a chance). What does your heart say? Does it give you good vibes or something uneasy ? Do you foresee yourself likely to stay in the Company for the next few years ? If one stay calm and listen attentively, there are indeed tell tale signs that give you clues.

Meanwhile, keep on praying for the ones you would like to be interviewed or call up for interviews. Maybe it is a phone call or an email inviting you for the interview. Hear yourself on the phone, what would you say to the person calling? How would you feel upon receiving the email invitation? Who would you share with and what would you say? Feel it , intensify it and make it as real as it has already happened. Make the future the now.

Distractions, there would be BUT it is crucial to leave them alone and each time something negative crops up, quickly replace it with your goals (make it in writing and recite it often) and again see the future playing out in the present time. Let the division of time be removed as separation implies a time space, distance however near it is from the goal. Thus, if the goal has been realised, there is no separation. So, the more one practised, the near we can bring the future goal to the present.

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. " Psalm 37:4

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.” Psalm 118:8

​The second verse is a powerful one,one that requires some wisdom to ponder on. Humans make judgement quickly based on what they see externally and draw conclusions. But God sees the heart and his way is higher than the humans and thus we can never find out his plans. We tend to complicate things, digging rabbit holes and going into unnecessary analysis when all God wants is to avoid us the pitfall. When in doubt, pray for God's advice. When praying, our heart needs to be still and not flushed with material worries and worldly affairs that cloud the thinking.

A friend recently attended a talk by a psychiatrist who is also a Christian and he shared on overcoming anxiety and How God can help us. This is one of the powerpoint slide that he sent to me and I think it is very applicable in many of our lives.

Fear is a distrust in God and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. In some way, I agree that the more fearful we are in our lives, the further we are from God. We, humans have begin to lean on our own intelligence instead of the All Almighty God. Our limited wisdom would never be able to comprehend many things that is easily done for God, after all, he is the Creator of this Universe.

The sentence that I relate to the most is - Fear results from a refusal to exercise faith. Think about it. If we could endure and stand in the heat for another day, week or month, wouldn't our circumstances no matter how bad it is be improved or resolved? Hebrews 11.1 - Faith is the assurance of things hope for , the evidence of things not seen.

The things that remain unseen are the solution that we want to see in the problems we had now, be it financial breakthrough, career, relationship or state of health. Before we get too worked up, I think it is important to note that we all have fear in our lives and a certain amount of healthy fear is good for us.

Primitively, when humans were born in historic times and they are out of their caves to hunt, the unknown outside their comfort zone triggers an element of fear, causing them to stay vigilant and be on the watch out for danger, a sign of self protection. Fast forward to the 21st century where we are living in modern society and technological advancement with more good food ever found in the natural forest, are we, humans more fearful than our primitive time?

It's like looking at the glass half full or half empty, a matter of perspective. The bigger the playground, the more perceived danger there are. Equally speaking, the amount of fun and pleasure also increases. We need to recognise that holding on to excessive fear is both harmful for ourselves and also can destroy the many opportunities that we are fearful of embarking on. Often, these fear stems from a lack of knowledge, past experiences and our limiting beliefs.

Example, if someone attempts to change his job to a new industry, he might want to give it a try but his limiting beliefs (what qualifications do you have , unsupportive parents, etc) dissuade him and the potential remains buried. How sad.

Shouldn't we look at life filled with different experiences , each one to enrich us and broaden our outlook of life rather than to treat the experience and label it as success or failure. Are we too preoccupied with the society labelling and the need for instant gratification is so rampant? We need to slow down, pull our handbrake and be aware of what's really going on. The robots may be coming but we humans are far more creative and intelligent than the machines and we need not live a life mechanically, devoid of human emotions.

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We must discipline our mind to purge the negative thoughts which contributes to fear and fill it abundantly with good thoughts, kind, loving and happy ones. Make it a conscious effort to slow down and appreciate the things in life that you are already blessed with :Disaster free country Corruption free governmentA roof over our headLoving family and childrenEtc

Things like this may seems trivial since they are present in our lives, that sometimes we could take it for granted. Cherish what we have, banish fear in our life by staying close to God, pray and meditate on his words, seek his guidance and all things would end up well. Believe it.

Thank God that I managed to save these two pictures above so I could write this post today. Had been procrastinating for a while..........You see, I started both account on USD10,000, both on demo account around the first week of July this year. It was going fine initially, though the profits was not as big as I wanted it to be. Then, along the way, I increased my position size, trade more frequently, sometimes up to 15 pairs.

At one time, one account was down 30% and I was really upset, furious and disappointed. But, I did not give up and continue to trade daily, wanting to hone my skills further. Many experts advised to try a year on demo account and get it double or triple the account. So,I am determined to see that as fruition.

The first thing I did was to write it down - To make 5% profit consistently on my forex account each month. From the above chart, you could see, the first account was already making more than 30% profits while the 2nd one was slightly more than 10%, which means I had achieved what I asked for.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.Matthew 7.7

I have this bible verse printed and kept a copy in my wallet. Each time, I opened my wallet, I will pull it out and read out aloud to myself, feeling the overwhelming joy and excitement of achieving this goal. The harvest came much earlier than I expected and it was a 6 fold increase from what I asked for.

10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. Malachi 3.10

So God's promise was tested and He indeed kept to his words and surprised you further with lavish gifts that you cannot imagined.

Proverbs 18:20With the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach will be satisfied; He will be satisfied with the product of his lips.

The words that we said to ourselves, our confessions, are indeed earth shaking and powerful. If we allow the external circumstances to control our mind and shaken our faith, then we are being held hostage, falling prey to the darkness and spiralling downwards to despair, low self esteem and definitely away from God. But if, we have faith, though small like a mustard seed and continue to turn away from our situation and remain bold, despite the daily challenges and repeatedly await for the Glory of God to come (which he will every time) then we are on the right path and we can bask in his Glory and share the fruits of our labour.

Remain unshakeable, unstoppable and unwavering in all circumstances, however man wants you to believe them and judge you. Turn your attention away and focus your attention to God, for his words are the truth and will not return to him void.

Hope my experience with God here will propel you to dispel the negativity, disbelief that you may still hold about God and wander aimlessly in the wilderness, not knowing who to trust and lean to. Procrastinate no more and open your heart and welcome God into your life and you will experience his power, joy and love.

I believe my prayer is answered today, somehow. For a long time, I have been praying that I would pick 10 dollar note. You see, I have been picking up coins for a long time. In fact, I picked a total of 70 cents last week and 10 cents yesterday. So, I wanted to increase the value from coins to notes. The highest was a 2 dollar note but that was quite a while ago.

So today, when my son and I were in the library, I picked up a random book from the shelf. As I was flipping the pages, I saw a 10 HKD dollar note inside. I was pleasantly surprised but could not link it to the wish I wanted to have. I happily show it to my son and he wanted to keep it.

As if fate decides to play a trick on me, the dollar must have dropped off while we were moving from one floor to another. I was not happy naturally, not so much about the value of the note but the gift from God. On my way home, I asked God, why?

It is like an illusion, now you see and now you don't . I could not comprehend with my human mind. I guess it is not meant to be. Yet, I am elated that the wish has come true, despite a short visit.

How can we then increase our faith to get what we want ? I am happy and grateful that God plan for me to borrow this book, When God steps in, Miracles Happen by Neale Donald Walsch. I find it refreshing and broaden my perspective a little after my last favourite author, NG. In this book, he mentioned there are 3 steps to acquiring faith :

1. noticing - the more we notice how faith works in others lives, the more influenced we become. The energy vibration gets connected and over time, the good effect begins to rub onto us. 2. experiencing- this is when we directly experience the moments of Grace by God and we increase our faith to the next rung.3. deciding - this is when we start to receive miracles after miracles that we no longer think it is shocking to us but something that is natural and common and we come to expect it to happen. We set our intention for miracles to take place in our lives.

Oh, the book I actually wanted to borrow though from the same author was from another branch and yet God must have plan it for me to pick this up instead. Serendipity, coincidence?

No one comes to you by accident. There is no such thing as coincidence. Nothing occurs at random. Life is not a product of chance. Events, like people, are drawn to you, by you, for your own purposes - Conversations with God

In that case, I was destined to pick up the HKD10 dollars , however brief it might be. I now send my blessing to the next person who will receive it and may need it more than I do. In peace and joy, I send out my wishes to you.

21 “As for me, this is my covenant with them,” says the LORD. “My Spirit, who is on you, will not depart from you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will always be on your lips, on the lips of your children and on the lips of their descendants—from this time on and forever,” says the LORD. Isaiah 59.21

This is my daily confession : I have healthy and radiant looking skin. I wrote this down on a piece of paper along with other wants I have and put it in my wallet. I read it at least 3 times a day. It did wonders for one of my goals before and somehow along the way, I stopped and forgot about it. Now, I am doing it again.

I am happy that my skin is now recovered with less scales and rawness felt. I could even bring my daughter for a swim, something that was a struggle for me a month ago. Praise the Lord !

More importantly, I cut off these additional food from my list -Tomato, cabbage, apple, pineapple, all soy products, carrot,etc .This was list given to me by my TCM doctor when I last had eczema. My wife was upset that I could eat so little and kept pressing me to go get the skin test done. I promised I would do that. No, there was no withdrawal symptom from not eating tofu or drinking soya bean though I had to get more creative on what to eat now.

11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

How true indeed! When one is in the process of change, it seems like a long, long time and it is painful but when we get out of it and see the light, we somehow feel all is worth it. I also realised doing it for self and for your loved ones has different motivation push. One could have given up or feel sluggish to change for yourself after many failed attempts but for your loved ones, you will keep on keeping on, no matter what.

So, I asked myself, if I do not buck up, do what is right, how could I live to a ripe old age and attend my kids' weddings ? I promised them that and I want to attend in style, not in a wheelchair or bedridden, if I have to. What's the point of having so much wealth if one loses his health?

To not able to do what a person normal activities like bending his knees, wearing shoes , jeans may seem unbelievable but to those who had eczema, you can easily relate. For 2 over weeks, I was basically wearing my boxer shorts and avoided as much outings as possible. It was painful wearing long pants as it rubs against the skin, causing the hot flush and irritates the skin. I could not even go for my run and I felt lethargic. Worse, I had this persistent cough with phlegm that does not go away, making my voice hoarse and uncomfortable.

I thank God each and every day to heal me, thinking from the things I would do when I am fully recovered. I go for my afternoon run, striking confidently and had a nice shower thereafter. I see myself having a great time with my kids in the pool, hearing their laughter and immersing in the cool water. I feel good.

I think it is hard for anyone to agree that the circumstances they are going through is the best things that happen to them. At least not when they are suffering in the moment. Or in pain. I know well because I am having an eczema attack , haha.From neck to right calf (size of my palm) to my right foot and elbows and even ribs. I had to cancel my training and forgo my running as well.

To judge not the circumstances and believe with full faith that this is OVER. NOT will be over as it signifies a process, requiring a time period but it has already healed. This requires me constantly to elevate my thoughts to the highest level as if I could suspend myself from 3 feet high and see my physical body below in pain. It hurts me more to see my spouse upset and affected by it (who won't). But if I continue to add self condemnation , it merely adds fuel to the fire and that is not the right path to take in the first place.

Everything that happened to me happened through me and is for me. I read this in Neale Donald Walsch book - Communion with God. It is quite deep and I need time to work on this. But I think my trading chart might offer me some clues.

This is the monthly chart of NZDCAD. Imagine if you would have invested in the beginning of 2009 and hold till current, you would have made 3670 pips. If one pip equal to US$1, then you would have made $3670 assuming you bought one contract and without any drawdown or profit taking. You merely hold for the entire duration. I am not sure if there are investors like that out there but most, I say most trading gurus that provide their analysis on forums, youtube, etc are looking at a much smaller time frame, 4H, 1H or even 15 minutes.

Now look at this 1H chart. Look at the volatility. Would you be confident trading the first or the second chart? Of course, all these are based on hindsight. That is my point. Months down the road, I would have look upon my eczema breakout that connects me to a bigger thing in my life and I would have said :" Had it not been this attack, I would not get this opportunity!". But the present pain I am going through, I have to endure it.

So, it is extremely important that we do not let our eyes judge the appearance of things and draw the wrong conclusions. Now, of course I know in great suspicion that I am allergic to soya beans. I had been drinking this fresh for several months and was happy that I had found something healthy and inexpensive for my body. Who would have expect the breakout to be so horrific ?

Because I am staying away from antibiotics and creams with chemicals, I know the healing process would take a while longer than usual. That is the window period that I must not be down, in fact remain cheerful and stay optimistic.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 5:3-4

What is that glory? I have no idea, I too am asking for signs to be revealed. But I know a God that loves me unconditionally and always deliver his promise. So I know this blog page is merely a chapter that I am writing among the many wondrous I have in future. To allow this pain, inconvenience and whatever to project to other parts of my life would be unfair to myself, destroying my self-esteem. More importantly, what kind of lessons am I showing to my children? What will they think and do when they meet with such situations ? Whine and put fault with others? That is what daddy do when he was in that situation. They will emulate my actions and I must stay strong and firm in my conviction that I am healed 100%. It was my eyes that play trick on me.

I am running as usual, enjoying the breeze and scenery around me. The after run effect was the best, I love it ! Things are better than before, family, career, health, all aspects of my life. I am blessed in so many ways. Thank you Father !!!

Have you had mouth ulcers before? I am sure the feeling is terrible. For me, it affects the way I eat. Food become difficult to chew and taste not quite the same, at times I have to turn sideway to avoid contacting with the sore spots. For most times, I would use salt water to rinse the mouth. On other occasions, I would use the toothbrush with some salt on it and brush onto the wound (not recommended for all). That of course is painful for a while but most times it get healed much faster.

I do a lot of training in schools so if anything affects my public speaking, I see to it that it gets resolved soonest possible. Lately, I tried that on one but it backfires for the first time. I thought it would healed faster like before but hell no, it got worse and the next day, when I see into the mirror, the ulcer has spread to a elongated shape (following the pattern of my toothbrushing). I was devastated and rinse the mouth with salt water several times a day.

I also had some cold spells (not sure if it was the swim with my kids) in my body added on. So, I boiled water with ginger slices into it and drank the whole part to expel the "coldness" in my body. Of course, my prayers help the most !

I am quickly reminded of an article I wrote quite some time ago about "Out of mind, out of sight". You see, as these ulcers are inside the mouth and not visible from our eyes, I got preoccupied with other things and totally forgot about it. The more I do not see the wound in the mirror, somehow miraculously, it heals better.

When you do not think about something (say a problem that bothers you), it quickly disappear from your sight/attention.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.2 Corinthians 4.18

The future of what we want - ulcers recovered is that part which is unseen and what is seen - the ulcers when we look into the mirror is nothing but temporary phase. So, it makes perfect sense to give it as little or no attention as possible. That includes not thinking, whining or viewing it in the mirror. That is not to say one ignores the treatment of the wound. On the contrary, I increase the rinsing, stay away from my favourite spicy food and fried rice or tofu. I make a conscious attempt to drink more water than before.

Thank you Lord for I am made perfect in your creation! I am going to change the wordings I used to pray from now on. The words - heal, to be healed,etc means that the body was dysfunctional to begin with, certain parts that need to be healed, restored,etc. That goes contrary to what God creates us from the beginning.

Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." Genesis 1.26

If we are created in God's image, then we cannot be sick or injured in a spiritual sense. So, the more we dwell into our sickness, injuries in the physical sense, then we are using the power of Man to resolve it. That is limited power.

John 7:24 - Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

Appearance is what we men use our human eyes to judge, which means we draw conclusions on what's happening based on the circumstances we are in. If you are out of job, lack of money, lost a relationship, health impaired, etc, don't you tend to blame it on your circumstances ?Did you not say things like;"If only I am born in a family with xxx, then I would be better!"

Recently, I had a eczema attack which was on one of my calf and around the toes area for another leg. Imagine the difficulties in walking with the sandals. On top of it ,I had foot fungus as well. Like a conspiracy, all 3 came about the same time. Argh.............

Of course, I am frustrated and unhappy but soon I realised losing my emotional control would means surrendering to these evil diseases and I am not going to let them win! My thoughts affect what I would say to myself and then churn the corresponding actions. So, despite the weepy wounds, I took up the courage and wrap it up with a bandage and head for the road. It was an excellent run and on the journey, I kept telling myself I am perfect , constantly reminding myself not to keep checking out the wounds. In the army, we learn to camouflage ourselves so as not to be seen by our enemies. It is the same here, we must not expose ourselves to the injuries, the matters that bother us but instead conceal it.

Again, this is not an attempt to avoid it , procrastinating or being lazy about resolving it. Instead, treat it as a constructive way of turning the situation around. Do not make it the first topic when you catch up with your friends/ loved ones. Did you catch yourself saying:" You know, this and that happened to me lately, ain't I unlucky?"

You might think you need an outlet to let go the negative emotions but confessing it (complain and ruminating about it) only make the matters worse. You enlarge the problem, magnify it and attempt to use own intelligence to solve it. You asked question like :"why me, God?" Your mood is down and you become lethargic , not wanting to do anything. Your state of mind is negative and that starts a whole vicious cycle.

I am grateful I read a blog on treating eczema lately and tried some of the recommended ideas such as using vinegar and applying moisturisers onto it. It lessens the pain definitely and I kept praying for the perfect body that God has created in me. If I am perfect, then eczema has no place in my body, it has to leave sooner rather than later.

You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5.48

I now understand better, we bear the genes of our father, as he is perfect, so are we.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1.2-4

This verse is probably one of the hardest to stomach for most people (myself included on many occasions).How can we stay joyful in moments of our trials? It seems contradictory. The trials that we had were disguised or packaged as a test of our faith. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11.1

​Think deeper. If we are confident in what we hope for - good health, money, relationship, then would we be sad, angry, frustrated,etc ? Again, see not in your human eyes but cast your net wider and further. The future is bright and the solution is already here. This part means the most to me since it affects how I pray and how many prayed as well.

To ask God to heal us - to be healed, to ask God for more money - to have money, etc is to imply that we do not have (signs of lack) all these things in the first place. But are we not created in perfect health, prosperity, etc? If this statement holds truth, then where is the lack coming from?

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe thatyou have received it,and it will be yours. Mark 11.24-25

Read this verse as many times as possible (I am humbled and reminded to visit this verse again and again in my tribulations). It says you have received it not WILL BE RECEIVING! Not something coming in the near future like a queue in progress (my initial thoughts about this verse). To bring the future (what you want) to the now ,the present moment (experience it all our senses - see, hear, touch, feel and taste). When the feeling becomes second nature, then our reality would have expressed what we asked for. So, I would stop asking God to heal me, to provide me with more money, with more opportunities, etc but rather simply thanking him for all the gifts (all that I want has come true).

I have no idea when I picked up reading as a hobby. I guessed it started way back when I was much into authors like Stephen Covey, Anthony Robbins, Bob Proctor, etc. Each of them had imparted great lessons and had impacted my life in many ways.Currently, I am reading this book, Wisdom and Passion by Dan Miller/Jared Angaza. They are father and son and I thought how cool it is to write a book with your own son.

He wrote something about the educated unemployed and it strikes a chord in me. I am one of them, under-employed. Each day, I tell myself to be grateful for what I have in life, my supportive spouse , great kids, roof over my head, freelance training opportunities and thus far , a healthy body that takes me running when it needs it. You can say, I have freedom but not security.

As the head of the household, I felt horrible not providing financially for my family and having to rely on my wife's income. Each time, I wanted to start something, I get excited for a few days to weeks and then the "realist" and "critics" in me comes to haunt me again. Was it my past business experience giving me insights to reevaluate risks from a deeper angle?

I need to get out of this mental block and sets new targets for myself regardless of my current circumstances. God, give me a stronger dosage of faith, a clearer signs for me to pick up and keep me close to your heart even more than before. I had a strange sense of losing reality like floating out of this world. Lately, I had a bad dream that one of my friend passed away with a heart attack. I woke up and wept . We had lost touch for a while and I was afraid to know the truth as the dream seems so real...........Have you experienced before?

I like trading and analysing charts as I find our life depicts a similar picture as well. We make attempts to breakout from the resistance and rely on supports line to help us bounce back. At times, we are in a range zone, going up, down, but really nowhere. At unexpected hours, something snapped and we soar like a rocket high up. Then, it came down real hard.....and the cycle repeats itself. I am reminding myself to be strong and not give up. I have too much to lose to give up now. Yesterday , my daughter pulled out a photo album that had our son pictures when he was a few months old, How times flies, he's eight now. Psalm 22:1919But you, LORD, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.

This is my current state now and I am praying and appealing to God to pay attention and render some help asap. I know he hears me and loves me and dotes on me dearly like how I treat my 2 kids. But Father, I am lost and need your guidance to walk this valley of darkness that seems to misguide me and influenced my thinking.