Saturday, March 14, 2009

What the Shit?

I promised my mum I wouldn't do any more posts about my little sister but how can I resist when her PRINCIPAL is making her go on this website to learn about puberty (she is 11).

A run down of thehormonefactory.com

There is a weird gurgling sound while you view the site, it is freaking me out.

"Good touching is when friends & family touch you & you feel good & safe. Bad touching is when you feel scared, or it hurts.Some people like to touch children in a sexual way, or make children do sexual things. This is wrong. Sometimes it is a person the child knows & loves, a bigger kid or an adult. It is against the law for an older person to touch a child in a sexual way."

Okay so I know it is important to make kids weary of pedos but seriously this is enough to blow a kids mind and/or make them fear all of their uncles. My sister is already worried enough about global warming and the recession. She freaked out when she was told people touch THEMSELVES.

"Keeping safe from creepy people who want to talk about sex stuff in chat rooms."

Or just don't go on chatrooms, you are 11.

"Most kids think bullying is wrong but they don’t know how to stop it. Sometimes they even do it! Other kids say they don't bully as they'd feel ashamed for picking on someone weaker. If you're being bullied here are some things to try that might help."

"Sometimes it helps to tell them to stop it in a really strong voice."

"Sometimes it helps to act like you don’t care (then it is no fun for the bully)."

"Sometimes it helps to say something funny, or ‘yeah, if you say so’."

Or you can find their weakness, a girl bullied me once but I knew her mum didn't love her and her stepdad pushed her down the stairs and I used that to my advantage.

"Sex is not just about kissing and getting sexy. And sex is not just about making babies. Puberty means your body's sex bits start to grow into adult sex bits, so you might want to know more. Everybody goes through it. Ask your parents.Sometimes people are embarrassed to talk about sex. It is good to ask questions and learn more, because sex is part of being human."

Geting sexy? This site is for 10 to 12 year olds WTF. When I was 11 I spent my down time reading Paul Jennings and collecting pictures of the Spice Girls.

Also don't tell my sister to ask her parents because she reads that as ask Gemma. They also talk about STDs and mazzing in this section, AT LEAST wait until they are 14 to discuss this.

Apparently this is an orgasm.

In conclusion: I learned everything I needed to know from Judy Blume. Sure you might say "that gemmer, she ain't well adjusted" but I blame that on the fact that I accidentally watched Flowers in the Attic when I was 7.