MarketingVOX reports WPP's mOne Worldwide has launched its own creative optimization tool for online creative. The tool, called mEuclid, narrows down a large body of creative to a smaller set that performs best. mOne claims the tool boost response to ads by 15 to 30 percent. Results are shared with creatives to draw them into the analytic portion of the online process.

Perhaps explaining the mysterious appearance of a finger in a bowl of chili at a San Jose Wendy's earlier this week, mordant orange "explains" who the finger may have found its way into the bowl, writing, "The body of actor Roger Eschbacher who played the much detested Mr. Wendy was found earlier this past summer in an abandoned warehouse; stripped naked with hands and feet bound to a chair. Eschbacher was found face down in a large bowl of Wendy’s chili."

Furthering the humor, and referencing the death of Wendy's founder Dave Thomas, mordant orange explains Wendy's new, "A Little Bit of Dave in Every Bite" ad campaign and lists the burger chain's new menu items which include:

Dave's Five Finger Chili

Dave's Big Back Bacon Classic

Fillet O' Dave

Baked Potato with sour cream, bacon, chives and bits of real Dave

Not to end a joke before it's time has come, mordant orange found one Wendy's executive who, referring to the new campaign, said, "We listen to our customers, they wanted Dave Thomas and we’re going to give him to them."

Is a rousing session at yesterday's ANA Television Advertising forum, CBS CEO Les Moonves said accountability is "not our job." While that comment rankled many in the audiences, he's right. The networks are just a channel through which marketing messages are shoved. Managing that process and the management of post analysis rests squarely on the shoulders of agencies and marketers. Of course, it's best when networks help enable.

At the same session Publicis's Rishad Tobaccowala cited the seven percent of Publicis media spend takes between 20 and 4o percent of time to manage and called the current method marketers compensate media agencies "stupid." And who says conferences are boring?

Writing in her MediaPost Out to Launch column, Amy Corr highlights several new campaign launches, many auto-related. There the six and a half minute VW Jetta commercial with Joe Pantoliano and Kevin Connolly; the Jeep tie in with the movie, Sahara; Cars.com which is sponsoring ESPN's SportsCenter and the NFL Draft; and a Hispanic Honda campaign promoting the Ridgeline truck.

There's also a quirky "voicevertising" campaign in which Brooklyn resident Floyd Hayes auctioned off his voice on eBay and promised to shout a brand name every 15 minutes where ever he was. HALL's Fruit Breezers snapped up that bid and now Hayes can be heard all over New York barking out brand verbiage for HALL's.

Today, with the launch of Sony's PSP, do everything device, the company has launched its PSP website, created by LA-based Zugara. The site highlights the devices gaming, music, photo and video capabilities. A second site, also developed by Zugara, is a tutorial site replete with female talking head speaking in some modified version of valley speak. We really need a new name for this accent.

We know the Internet is rife with money making schemes but we didn't know they'd come in the form of a press release. The release, written by Jim Pryke and released through eMediaWire, is a thinly veiled pyramid marketing scheme. In the release, Pryke shares the tried and true methods of joining and building the pyramid structure though the use of referring URLs and press release distribution. While this program, very much like a chain letter, may build traffic, it's likely to be entirely untargeted, useless traffic used to simply to promote traffic to other useless, money-making scheme sites expanding faster than a McDonald's-powered pre-teen.

Rather than add more crap sites to the web with these lame, cheesy pyramid schemes, would it be asking too much for people to put a little energy into creating quality content that would draw useful traffic instead of traffic for traffic sake? We're not even linking to this piece of shit press release.