Bishop Eddie Long—noted homophobe, megachurch pastor, and author of Gladiator, the Strength of a Man—has been accused by two young men from his church of coercing them into masturbating and "oral sexual contact." That's so crazy!

According to CNN, the 57-year-old Long, who heads the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Atlanta, has been accused by two men in their early twenties of all sorts of dirty sexy things. Such as holding a "private spiritual ceremony to mark a 'covenant' between them, with both becoming his 'spiritual son.'" Long is also said to have taken one of the men on "overnight trips where they shared a bedroom and engaged in kissing, masturbation and 'oral sexual contact.'" Bishop Long also allegedly used Bible scriptures to justify himself. He denies the two men's claims.

Who is Eddie Long? He's a preacher who drives a Bentley, has been known to hang around the White House, and received $1 million salary over four years from a charity meant to help poor people. He has also led marches against gay marriage and "delivers" people from the demonic grip of homosexuality. Long once justified taking so much of his charity's money by saying, "You've got to put me on a different scale than the little black preacher sitting over there that's supposed to be just getting by because the people are suffering." Classy.

And this should have been a dead giveaway:

Once, he even boasted to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that some mothers at New Birth trusted him enough to bring their wayward teenage boys to him for paddling.

"When I say bend over, even on Sunday, they bend over," he said, referring to the boys he paddled. "Why? Because they respect me. Because I first died for them..."

We might suggest Bishop Long consult fellow homophobic preacher-who's-sorta-secretly-gay Ted Haggard for advice on how to handle such a shitstorm, but his advice might not be so good. Well, good luck with all that, Eddie!