12 November 2010

inheritance

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Is there a difference- Setting yourself apart? Setting yourself above?
What did you learn from your grandfather? One of my grandfathers-I did not know, however-from Him- I learned the lesson of A Lifetime-Mine.

I learned IT from My Mother. She- from her beloved father, G.J., who died when she was just 13. What lesson stayed with my lovely gifted Mother after she lost her father? I know at that moment she must have been devastated and bewildered -still a child-holding fast to those cut short moments.
What was My Inheritance, what did they give me?

When my Mother was growing up in a Southern town in the 1930's, her Father was a cotton mill executive, working with cotton mill employees daily. He rolled up his shirt sleeves- & they loved Him, and He loved them. They came to Him for Help- Advice-a Loan. Always, always He met them with Respect. Never were they less than because He had More than. He was engaged as a Father and spoke with respect of those people he worked with.
His lesson- to that willing, loving child daughter: "Pigtail," Set yourself apart- with your smile, your talent, your good nature, your honesty and your sense of fairness-of what is right.-but, Never set yourself above. There will be times when You will be standing alone, unpopular even- maybe, and that's when it is hardest.

The lesson was instilled, distilled really. When I was 9 years old, I had my first experience with-standing alone. A crying child in the cloak room, our classmates her had driven there and into her coat for solace. She was sobbing. She had been told her clothes smelled. Yes, it was the smell of warmth-of her family's wood stove and their love-the hugs they gave before she left for school.
At school- at the age of 9- that warmth- family and love- were being rejected. She refused to go outside to play that day. I comforted Her-I don't know what I said-but I remember what I did, I put my coat on and took her hand and we went out together- and we played that day. Catching what was just the hint of a promised Spring breeze.

I think among the many happy moments of my Mother's mothering Me, this was one of her very proudest.
That Lesson, That Gift, That Inheritance. She had given it and I had reached out and held her hand to take it.

I make no bones that Beauty, Art, Culture are my Loves- but there are many others.
Would that I were Rich?
Oh, but I Am.
I have an inheritance and have made a promise to that inheritance:Set yourself apart, Never above.

i love that you write straight from the heart; that a small imperfection here and there doesn't ever stop you. it's taught me an awful lot, this courage of yours. and i wonder, often, what your secret is; how you became this strong. "...Apart, Never above." There it is. So beautiful! You are one of the richest people I've ever known, Gaye. Your inheritance is our good fortune. Thank you for sharing it so truly.

You have drawn attention to how pieces of imperceptible tracery in a child's life form Character; bit by bit it is laid down exactly as you illustrated so beautifully for us, and you are so wise to call it Inheritance. My mother would sit us down and talk to us about our Heritage, explaining that we were not rich but that our Heritage was. You've just brought all that back again for me, thanks for your lovely thoughts.

PGT, you have me in tears...but in a good way.What a wonderfully moving piece. Yes, your parents taught you well. I'm mindful of how powerful my role as a parent is, but it's always good to be reminded! Yes, this is the most important thing we can give to a child.

Inheritance is the strongest link to ones character, on the surface I see my grandfather's hair line, my father's eyes, my mother's mouth. These are just surface reminders, what you so beautiful wrote about are our true inheritances. Thank you for the inspiration and the reflection.

thank you everyone for embracing this story. I had my father 45 years-and that still wasn't enough. my mother's memories of her father are as rich today as they were 70 years ago. this lesson was instilled in us all three. Mark, though the post is very personal- my blog is not meant to be a receptacle for these things too often. I am very private (doesn't that sound odd?) This was compelled by the horrendous acts of bullying that are storied every where right now the DADT policy of this country, and my general outrage at the wrongs being tolerated by humanity- our grip has slipped permanently, I am fraid. pgt

Such a well written piece. My mother always said that even the Queen of England thanked the lad who held her horse's reins for her. I am totally with you (and you mother) on this. What a legacy, what an inheritance we both got! Bravo.

Mary-first I thank you for all your lovely comments and continuing support in reading. I love this post too-and had to come back and read it since you did the same-and for that I thank you. This little story has resounded in my life time and time again. As I just said to my mother this morning-time does stand still when it comes to memories of love-and of people that change us. pgt

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My book HOW THEY DECORATED, for Rizzoli, was published in April of 2017. I have been an interior designer for over 30 years & have an abiding passion for the original, & history. Little Augury was born on New Year's Eve 2008. It began as a way of continuing a conversation with a beloved mentor & the promise to keep just a bit of his wit & wisdom alive by sharing it whenever possible. Little Augury focuses on interior design, art, literature, fashion & social history with an eye, always looking back to the past, in hope of understanding what is authentic & what will endure & what connects us to our environment. Always listening for the footstep on the old stair-the sound of lives that walked that way.