"All Balls No Brains"

Duke Nukem 3D was one of my favorite games growing up, so when I heard they were making Duke Nukem Forever I was excited. That was 1998 this is now I was still excited pre ordering this game 3 to 4 months in advance. So with that being said let's just cut to the point I won't let this review run on forever.

Story- Story is like all cheesy 80's/90's action movies someone messed with the best and took his chick(s) in the process. This game is basically Duke Nukem 3D part 2, Duke is in "retirement" of sorts he hasn't seen much action in a while. The aliens he beat in the first game came back for round two and basically trying everything all over again. The story is bad to say the least but it's not about story, it's about Duke!

Game play- This is were I felt it mattered, where no matter what happens this has to be top shelf to work...it wasn't. DNF isn't a great the shooting it feels old school but not in a good way. When gamers now are used to aiming down the sights in Call of Duty type game play it makes it hard for a camera zoom in to be good enough. The guns Duke uses don't have any real power besides the shotgun and his Desert Eagle at times. The load screens are brutal I installed it to my Xbox hard drive and it went from 45 seconds to 30. This can be annoying especially when you are trying to figure out how to beat a boss. I have read other reviews that said this was a hard game, it's not at all you just have to be good at these types of games. The puzzle aspect is ripped from half life almost exactly from half life once you get to the dam level you will see. The underwater levels felt like they threw them in there just because it felt right and not because it flowed well. What I mean be this is, the game at times flows okay but others it seems like they put levels in there just so you would say "This reminds me of Duke Nukem 3D." which isn't a bad thing just makes the game feel awkward. The Aliens are the exact same from DN: 3D and it felt sort of the same. The Multiplayer is primitive to say the least instead of having a class system such as Call of Duty you get an old arena style shooter like goldeneye for N64 but less fun. It isn't all bad for the most part you get a good shooter with some laughs. Most reviewers said they wanted Duke to grow up but that's not Duke style at all, if he didn't have a constant boner then it wouldn't be Duke.

Graphics- Subpar to say the least. The game feels dated and it shows in the graphics. The Graphics get worst online which is sad because I am not a graphics person but these look close to xbox one in it's first generation. The game sometimes takes longer than it should to turn on the textures in the environment but you would think after a 45 second load time it would be up when you start.Some characters have there whole body choppy but the aliens look good.

Enjoyment- A fair amount, after a few minutes with the game I felt like it was fun and reminded me of all the old times but the load times made it feel too much like old times. With that being said I liked Duke Nukem Forever besides a couple minor flaws it was fun.

Sounds- Felt old like they ripped Duke Nukem 3D and then added a few more lines. Average gun fire sound effects and the aliens sounded the exact same from 3D.

Replay Value- Little, the game is way too primitive for it's own good. Multiplayer is boring and the single player only takes 7 to 8 hours to beat 10 if you want the achievements. I replayed the game once and I am at 39 out of 50 achievements and I had 34 achievements at the end of the game.

Buy or Rent- Rent Hands down unless you see it for 5 bucks then pick it up, trust me it will be 5 bucks soon.

Verdict- I felt like Duke Nukem Forever would have been a successful game if it was released earlier in the Xbox 360 generation but right now the 360 is in it's golden age. The people developing the games understand the technology and have a great feel for the system. The game play is too experimental and too much of a copy cat to work. I wish the game was better being a huge fan of this franchise but it isn't. As I was thinking on how much to rate this review I thought about the developers and how long it took them to make this game and how much hard work it had to be. With that being said I can't apply the pity card; it's been 15 years and you had time, if you knew it was going to be average do us a favor and spend another year remaking it from the ground up. You already took 15 years what's another year? 7 out of 10.