Yesterday we spent the day packing. Packing up our downtown Chicago condo. We are set to close on Wednesday. Meaning in TWO days we will, in all likelihood, no longer own a piece of real estate downtown.We have been trying to sell this on and off since Fall 2010. We had some renters that ended in disaster and eviction. It has been a long journey.

It is more than that though. It isn’t so much about the details of a piece of real estate that I am writing about. That was our first home together. Jason already owned it when we met, but together we made it a home in many ways. It wasn’t quite the home we have now. The home we have now is so family oriented, a bit more mature, and much more responsible. Filled with a different kind of love, care, and understanding. We moved here when I was pregnant.

But the condo was the home of our early-mid 20’s. Part of our first date was there, our first kiss was on the balcony. I can remember it clearly. That is where we had many get togethers with good friends. That is where Jason proposed! I know the exact spot in the living room. It is where we grew together as a couple. Where we had time to be young and ridiculous. Messy and lazy. Staying up until 4 am catching up on seasons of Lost, 24, and other shows. We were carefree in many ways. I was in school. I received my degree while living there. I spent many nights up scrambling to finish a paper before the next morning.

We had a lot and I mean A LOT of fun while living there. I can recall one particular New Year’s Day hangover. I was miserable. The night before in the condo was a blast. I laid on the couch all day, drifting in and out of sleep. Jason watched a day long marathon of the Planets of the Apes movies. We ordered burgers through DiningIn. I can recall that day perfectly. That is just one example. We loved (and still do but with responsibility like a babysitter) having a good time.

That is where we made Jackson. That is where we started trying to grow our family. It is where we brought home our 3rd kitten. We fell in love there. We had fights there. We planned a wedding while living there. We had more fights there. We came home from a 2 week honeymoon to start the rest of our married life together there. It was such a huge part of us and our relationship. I didn’t really notice it at the time. Sometimes I said I hated that condo. It felt small to me at times. I wanted a little more room. As you grow sometimes the amount of things you have grow as well. Things get tight.

I love our doorman Thomas. And now I might start crying. I haven’t been able to say good bye. He doesn’t work weekends. Yup, here come the tears. Once I thought about him my emotions lost it. He is a wonderful man. So friendly. I have spent HOURS and HOURS talking to him. There were a few other doormen that came and went. I always liked them all but none of them were Thomas. I have never gotten sad or cried when thinking we wouldn’t see any of them again. My family and Jason’s family loved Thomas too. He is just a warm spirit. He has met Jack. We even have a photo together. The 3 of us. When Jack was 4 months old. Yeah this paragraph and trip down memory lane just made me lose it.

I know we didn’t want to live the rest of our life in that particular unit. It is hard to grow as a family there. It was a great bachelor/young adult pad. It was gorgeous. It was perfect for that. It was perfect for that part of our life. Jack loves playing there the times we have taken him. But it just wasn’t right for the rest of our family life together. I keep telling myself that. Maybe one day I will actually believe it.

I miss the city in so many ways. Often too. I am not miserable in the suburbs. There are wonderful things about living out here. Seeing Jack play in our yard is one of them. Walking to a huge park that is on a quiet lake is another. Running around the lake like I do. There are good things about the Burbs. I just really loved the city. Living in the heart of downtown Chicago is a way of life. If you do it you have to love it. We loved it. I miss our restaurants and how it was empty on weekends. We lived in the business/theater district. So literally a couple blocks over from Sears (Willis) Tower and right down the street from Daley Plaza. I miss just going for a walk through the city for the heck of it together. We go on walks out here. But the people watching isn’t as great. Ha!

I am sad today. I could write on and on about nostalgic things. I could write every happy memory, every fight, every moment. I won’t keep going though. It will only make it tougher in the long run. Yesterday was much easier because Jackson kept me so distracted. He went to bed after 10. I doubt he will be up any time soon. It is going to be a long sad morning! Ha! We have to do something fun today. The weather has cooled. So I want to go do something distracting.

Good bye old faithful friend. Thank you for being such a huge part of my 20’s. Thank you for being such a big part of my relationship and marriage. Thank you for all the fun crazy times we had there. Thank you for nursing my hangovers. Thank you for giving the me experience of living in downtown Chicago. Thank you. I will miss you. I half hope the deal falls apart on Wednesday. There I said it. Honesty and all…..

This week has been so busy. I have been doing a million things. We got a job for a photoshoot though Medela. They selected two mom/baby models to come that day. They made their final decision about who to shoot the day of. They went with the other pair (we still got paid!) because I am blonde and the last momma they used was blonde and we resembled one another. The other girl that came down that day had dark hair and her son had a lot of very dark hair. Little Jack has such light blonde hair that he looks bald. It is ok though. I was super disappointed but my hubby pointed out, we got paid and didn’t have to work. That is smart!

Walking around downtown

We had to go downtown, where we used to live. So we showed Jack the city and our old neighborhood. He seemed to love all the sights to see. We stopped at our old condo. Well we still own it but we obviously do not live there anymore. I think we had a blast showing him around. He even got to see what would have been his bedroom.

in our condo...want to buy it???

It turned out to be such a fun day together. He was so wonderful too. He was going with the flow. He was happy after catnaps. He never got a luxurious nap in like he normally does at least once a day. He didn’t seem to mind not being in familiar surroundings. He will be 5 months on Monday. He is really starting to grow up. I am enjoying it but I am also sad about it.

On the balcony with Dada

Yesterday we had a vet appointment for the kitties. This meant Jason stayed home again. We also had another fun day together. It was Gymboree day as well. Jason got to come with us for the first time. Jackson seemed to enjoy having us both there. It was wonderful for Jason to get to be involved in some of this fun stuff instead of always being at work while we run around doing activities. I also enjoyed watching him interact his own way.

Parachute time

I even stepped back and let them play without saying “no do it this way or no the song goes like this” GASP!!!! I know, I actually relaxed and let him take total control. Ok, so I didn’t do it RIGHT away but after a few minutes into class I did. That is a huge step for me. I am kind of a control freak, especially when it comes to my only son/child. I like things done a certain way. I know I need to give up some control, but not right now.

So happy to play with Dada

I have a million things to do today. Our house is a disaster since we really weren’t around much. I probably shouldn’t even be writing, but I decided to take a few moments to unwind this morning. I have been getting all of my exercise in despite being so busy. I haven’t missed a day! Today will probably be a pilates day, unless the temps stay under control then I will go running. I treated myself to some more new running gear yesterday. It is incredibly motivational to have new things to wear. I just want to put them on and use them right away!

This weekend is going to be even busier than the past couple of days. We have company coming over tomorrow and Sunday. Monday I have my 5k! AHH I DO need to get cleaning! YIKES! See you all next week!