After a relatively quiet week in the Big Brother house - apart from a brief flurry of activity on Wednesday where there was a major showdown about towel usage (oh, and some small matter of £100,000) - it's Friday once more, and time for an eviction.

We'll be here updating constantly from 8.30-9.30, and then back again at 10.00 for the live housemate-ousting ('housting'?) - click on 'read more' to read more, and hit refresh for updates and comments - so if you have any Big Brother related pearls of commentage, please please drop them in the box attached.

Commenters! You are live on Guardian Unlimited, please do not swear. Much.

Sorry, that's a propos of nothing, I just think they should add that to the top of the comment box for comedy effect. Mild comedy effect, obviously.

8.28: Well, here we are again. The one week in which there could have been a beautifully justified walk out, and there wasn't one. Seriously, Liam, mate; Why Are You Still THERE?

It could have been the most perfect denoument to the evening. Endemol drop £100,000 in the diary room, everyone thinks it's the prize money, it gets given to new housemate Liam ... If you were him, would you not have said "Thanks very much!" gone and packed a small bag, nipped into the diary room and said 'Why Aye et cetera, I can't take I any more, let me out of here"?

Yes, they might not allow it at first, but if they don't you just wander into the living room, pull down your shorts, and declare yourself to be the reincarnation of Hitler while masturbating into the kettle. In the new world of wrist-slapped tough-talking Big Brother, you'd be out on your ear in a matter of seconds, with a large case of unmarked bills and relative freedom. No? Surely not bad for five days work...

Anyway. There he is. still in there, because he's a nicer person than me. Or slow or something. And here we are, still reeling form the fabuous footage of Charley and her Gucci boots getting pushed in the pool (shown last night, and on youtube here), and waiting for the show to start.

8.30: Davina's here, and she's looking terribly smart. She is, though, I have to say, wearing the same coat as last week. Still with its 978 buttons.

Tonight, she's promising, the breaking up of the golden (-haired) couple of the house, and the eviction of either Jonathan, Carole or (sorry, I can't do the accented a) Seany.

I'm betting. Um. Jonathan?

8.33: Ziggy and Carole are talking about money, games, Billi and Chanelle, etc etc. Ziggy goes to the diary room, and says he doesn't like Billi. Not because he feels threatened by him, nonononono. He just, you know, doesn't like him. No reason, like ...

8.39: Billi's the man everyone's talking about. And weirdly, it's not in a "What? He's a MODEL? Are you having a LAUGH?" kind of way. They all seem to think he's a bit of a trouble-munter. Maker, sorry.

Meanwhile, Gerry and Seany are getting on, but, god, I hate to hear myself say it, but I'm warming, slightly to Seany. I don't *want* to think it's just because he pushed Lady Gurning 2007 in the swimming pool, because I do hate to side with a bully.

But it kind of is.

The crowd seem to share my feelings just a tad, though, still merrily shouting "GET CHARLEY OUT!" whenever they're called upon to shout anything at all, so there's a fair chance that Seany won't be out tonight, at least...

8.47: I quite fancy getting Carole out, actually. She's rather too fulsomely (yes, meant in the proper sense, style-guide pedants) taken on the guise of House Mother. I know, if I was in there, I would find that annoying. It's not her responsibility to go round talking to everyone on behalf of everyone else, and also ... Um ... Bra.

8.51: You'll have to excuse me if I hit the keyboard with my fist at any point, I keep getting pins and needles and it's excruciating.

Watching the house is like sitting next to the picnic table of popular kids in the playground at break time. "She says she fancies you!" "I don't!" "She does!" "Totally don't, I fancy your mate!" "You don't!" "Well *I* fancy you!"

Genius. Chanelle has just told Ziggy he reminds her of Pat Sharpe. He's now sounding like he may dump her over this very fact. You can say it's an excuse, but no, no, I think that's fair. It would be like my (younger) boyfriend waking up one morning and saying 'You know who you REALLY remind me of nowadays? Janet Street Porter."

Ziggy: I don't want to be playing games. Chanelle: You're on a gameshow.

It was obviously doomed, though. Imagine being stuck in a hothouse situation with people and getting yourself snarled up in a 'relationship' in the first few days.

EUW Sorry - that's not the relationship idea, there was just an advert for Domino's pepperoni pizza, which looks vile.

Anyway. Getting so close to anyone so quickly, shutting out the rest of the house, for all intents and purposes, is a terrible idea. The Big Brother house is a place for unfettered orgy and nothing else. Sadly for Channel 4, the housemates *still* haven't got that, yet.

9.04: And we're back. And I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor from the end-of-ad-break trailer for 'Three Fat Brides, One Thin Dress', which is just one of those 'Oh f*** OFF' types of programme names that channels seem to love nowadays. The higher the digit of the channel, the more fuckoffy the title, I find.

Anyway. Where are we.

Ah. The fallout of the break up. And Nicky announcing to Brian that she has a bit of a thing for Liam. Which is odd, really, because I'm sure the several million hadn't noticed her throwing herself at him, forcefully, all week. It seems she is the last to know.

She has, however, been at least throwing herself in an intelligent, verbose way (if not smily) so she gets points for that.

Oh look, they've given the housemates booze. That'll help.

9.10: Ziggy, with his sincere posturing, is starting to remind me of Nigel Havers. Except I don't ahve the crush on him that I used to have on Havers. When I was about 12.

Having just given another patronising "When it's all over, maybe I'll give you another chance, babe" speech to Chanelle, he has been slapped down. For calling her Babe.

Points for Chanelle.

(Whoever has the most points at the end of the evening gets The Anna Pickard Prize for Housemate I Least Want to Strangle.)

9.15, during the break: On Glastonbury live (on BBC Three), Rufus Wainwright is wearing simply fabulous earrings, and a shade of lipstick that doesn't go with his colouring At All.

Cutting back to Zane Lowe in the Studio, I start to wonder about when the ramshackle caravan of Jo Whiley and John Peel got skipped and a multi-story uber-technological studio came in.

When they saw they weather report, probably.

9.20: Chanelle is in the bedroom (Jesus! I'm talking like Marcus Bentley, I don't even want to!) talking sense to Ziggy, who appears to be sulking, post-dump, under the duvet. She tells him it's no biggy, and no one cares, and the only people making a big thing of it are them themselves, and ...

Oooh, I'm starting to like people a bit. This bodes well.

9.23: Everyone's just sitting about. The twins are pretending to slap each other from a distance and then miming reactions. This reminds me of a party trick I used to take part in called 'ninja tits', but I won't go into it now. No time.

People are having their 'why I shouldn't go' speeches in the diary room. Sadly too late, as the voting lines have already closed. And who's going to be evicted?...

9.25: SEANY!

NO! (I literally shouted "NO!" as that was announced, which seems a little excitable, even for me.)

At least he was funny. Good GOD, what's wrong with the voting public?

9.29: In a big grump now. I'll be back at 10, officially (may well hang around the comment box, as usual). If anything exciting happens on BBC3, will let you know ...

10.01: Catch up of the last half hour. Tears etc. I wish Just ONCE someone would take that half hour to go round the group and state not only what they thought of them, but what everyone else thought of them as well. Sadly not.

10.02: Seany leaves, and a damn sight quicker than that woman last week.

10.04: I spoke too soon, he kept opening and closing the door, but still quicker, he left, to large cheers from the crowd, which is unusual.

The subtitles (yes, I always have them on) said "CHEERS AND BOOS" which, let's face it, they just cut and paste from week to week. Come ON, subtitle-people, I want percentages.

10.06: There's an advert break. Blimey, that were quick

10.09: Trying to decide which advert annoys me most at present, the Phone one with Judi Dench, or the Car one that bastardises Dylan Thomas and makes me want to cry (in a bad way). Oh, we're back.

10.12: Seany seems so sad to be out. You understand that this really was a dream for him, appearing in the house (really? WHY?) and Davina tells him there were no boos from the crowd. Well, that's not what the subtitlers said, but whatever.

Nicky seemed to have nominated him because he said she wasn't very smily. Well then Nicky, my love, nominate The Whole World.

10.16: A reel of Seany's pranks. They walk a very thin line between stupid, funny, and just plain mean. People boo at some, and cheer at others. Well, I say 'others', I mean 'Charley getting pushed in a swimming pool'.

10.22: I feel quite sad for that man. I get the feeling that this was his dream for a long time, that he's been planning, scheming, working out plans for every possible eventuality. And now it's over, too quickly, and he's not sure where to put himself.

He's been auditioning for this show, hard, for four years.

And that was it.

I don't know if I feel sadder that that was it for him, or that this mess of towel-ownership-tiffs was someone's dream. But I do feel sad.

Anyway, I'll just go and watch life-affirming music from Glastonbury (from the comform of my dry sofa, Brighton). By next week, I may not remember his name.

Oooh! Look! Ziggy and Thingie are comforting each other on the sofa! Fwoar! Who was that bloke who used to be in here again? Oh who cares.