Just another happy rag by one of them broads.

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I woke up at 5 am, but it was only 4 am, because we were supposed to have set back the clocks one hour last night to wintertime. The computer has the right time, smart computer. I suppose I will try and adjust as quickly as possible to the new time now with my medication and take it an hour later. I only worry about the Topamax, since it seems to be so important when I take it. Oh well, it should be okay. I am probably worrying for nought and everything will be just fine.

Eduard had to work twice yesterday. Once in the afternoon, when he barely had time to come home to eat dinner and he was of again to work until 10 pm. It wasn’t actually that bad to have him gone, not as bad as I had anticipated. I mostly just did my own thing and that didn’t involve much more than watch some films on the film channel and contemplate my navel. I saw Enemy of the State with Will Smith, which was an exciting movie, and a movie about England in the future, when women could no longer have babies all over the world, and it was the only halfway civilized place left on earth, which wasn’t saying much. Nevertheless, thousands of refugees flocked to its shores and were locked up in prison camps and all the people in the country suffered under the regime. The movie painted a pretty bleak picture of the future and you hope nothing like it comes true. It showed what people do to each other when the circumstances become dire and it isn’t pretty.

An old friend of mine has contacted me. She was my best friend all through high school and afterwards until I went to the States. She is very enthused about having found me and is really keeping the contact going. Yesterday, I got an email from her describing her job and asking me what sort of work I do. Now I have a dilemma, do I just say that I don’t work or do I say that I am manic depressive and that that is the reason why I don’t work? Sooner or later it has got to come out. Why not rather sooner than later? It will be a true test of friendship if she can accept this and keep the contact going if I tell her. What do you think?

I have nothing to write about. My mind is such a blank. I can’t come up with anything. It must be because I am that dull six again and not that exciting eight. But I like being that dull six, it is so nice and uneventful.

I think that book I am reading right now is very uneventful too. Nothing really happens in it. It is just a description of some people who adopt Korean babies and nothing more than that. There is no action in it. It reads like a commentary to a documentary. It would make a cute family drama, but that is about it.

I think there are books written that are ‘safe’ to read. They don’t upset you or anything, they don’t challenge you. They don’t throw social or political drama at you. They don’t confront you with dilemmas. They leave you unchallenged and uncharged and unattached. It doesn’t matter if you read them, nothing changes because of them. I suppose those kind of books are good to read if you are feeling particularly challenged by life already. I suppose they are a good escape then. But lots of times, you want more. You want something substantial that you can really sink your teeth into. Something that will test and try you intellectually and emotionally.

Well, enough said about that. I don’t know if I have the wherewithal to be a good critic. I am sure my likes and dislikes change over time and I may feel differently about this next year. I just don’t want things to be so easy. I want it to be a bit complicated and difficult, that is why I have a brain.

A cat is being very silly and playful in the bathroom and the dog can’t stop himself from being curious and having to go and have a look. I think Gandhi is playing with the cord of the light switch and Jesker is trying to stop her from doing it. Toby walked in a while ago with a whole chicken leg that he was planning to eat in a corner of the living room under the curious and watchful eye of Nouri. Luckily, he let me take it away from him. It’s amazing what sort of food people throw away and I can always tell by what the cats find in the trash and bring home.

Okay, now I am all done, so I wish you a wonderful day or a wonderful night, whichever comes first. Ciao…

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5 Responses

I agree that there is no reason not to tell your friend about your situation right off the bat. Like you said, it’s going to come out at some point so you might as well be up front with her. She’ll be supportive, I’m sure.

Sometimes people want books that are just an escape with no effort needed. Kind of like some movies and some music. They just want to enjoy them for a while and move on.

I think telling your friend is a good idea. Especially if you are going to stay connected and maintain an ongoing friendship again. You have been so open and honest about living with bi polar and what you need to do to stay well, there is no need to keep is a secret. I admire your honesty and how you are so proactive, even when the days are tough. Friends, real friends, should understand and support that.I do understand what you mean about books. Sometimes I welcome a book like you describe, other times it drives me nutty. I just need more stimulation. I guess it depends on my frame of mind. Today I am reading an biography, and it is keeping me interested, inbetween loads of laundry!! Not much fun for a Sunday, but at least I am not at work.Hope you have a peaceful Sunday!XOXO

We don’t switch our clocks back until next weekend… they changed the dates we spring forward and fall back this year to save energy.

Like the others, I would agree about honesty to your friend. That doesn’t mean you have to bare your soul all at once, but being truthful is the best basis for a good friendship. You can gradually learn more about her, and she of you with time.