She didn't recognise me at first, and when she did she was really shocked at the amount of weight I have lost. Then she said the strangest thing, "You looked much better then, you were such a big bloke, really impressive and powerful"

So what is all that about? I'm totally puzzled at how someone could think or say that.

It's not envy by the way, she is a skinny minny and always has been.

Because you can read this, thank a teacher. Because it's in English, thank a soldier.

Strange but it could just be she was shocked at the amount you had lost. The important thing is that you look great and you feel fantastic. Afterall we all do this for ourselves at the end of the day so its what we think about ourselves that counts.

I agree with the others.. she probably like men with more meat on them. Not all women want male models or men with perfect bodies

1. Goal get into the 160s. DONE Jun 16th
2. Goal get into the 150s DONE July 3rd
3. Goal get into the 140s DONE July 28th :banana dancer::bliss:
4. Goal get into the 130s DONE Sept. 9th :happy036:
5. Weight 128 DONE Sept. 29th ( I DID IT!!!!)

I was thinking the same as annamaria, i know that a "big man" is seen to be "really impressive and powerful" as your friend put it and that's what some women look for in a man. So maybe she was talking about her preference. I'm sure when thinking about it she could kick herself for saying that. I always say the wrong thing, i bumped into one of my brothers mates a few months back and i said " omg your really looking old" the second i said it i could have kicked myself and thought if he had said "omg hayley you have got fat" i would have been most upset, sometimes we say the worst things but really we don't mean it how it comes out. btw my brothers friend is only 25 but his hair was almost gone from the last time i see him which was what i was referring to but still it was a very bad thing to say !!!

For some of us, its not really about how we look but our health and how we feel in our own skin and i bet she would appreciate that if she was to think about it now.

I think that is great Jim, you met a person that saw you for who you are, because you are a great bloke, you always have been a great bloke and always will be. She just needs a little time to get used to it

Hmmmmm I think you looked cute big BUT much younger slim..... I think like everyone else, it was probably shock AND maybe she does like chunky guys? Don't reach for the pies!!! lol, only joking, I see you're too focussed and happy to get big again.
xxxxxxsharon

Its funny you should say that jim because when i wrote my post i put "fat man" at first and then changed it to "big men" because fat guy just didn't sound right. It does seem that men are classed as big and women are fat, cant explain why though.

It does seem to be acceptable for a man to be "big" and for a woman it is not acceptable because they are regarded as "fat". I have had comments from family members before about my weight, when in fact there are men in my family who are morbidly obese. But the comments to the men are "ohh well he's a man and its okay for men to be big" Arghhh...

:happy096:

Martin Luther King, jr.In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends .

Alice Walker: No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

Wow, this is an interesting thread! LOL.. Got me thinking a bit too.. My real dad is huge, bigger than you in your before pic Jim. He was smaller when he was still with my mum but never slim from what i remember. He's piled the weight on since being with my step-mum n so's she but that's another story. I too, like Laura, don't like going out with skinny blokes. My ex, well, only went out with him for 2 months lol, was 6"3 n skinny, beyond the slim border. He tried the muscle building thing that some blokes like to do, weights at the gym n using that bulking powder etc. Was quite funny, i started the cd the day we really met so i was on cd shakes n he was on 'get me bigger' shakes! It just didn't feel right being with a bloke skinnier than me, granted i was a lot bigger than i am now though.

Anyway, i digress. I think it must have just been such a shock for her to see you completely different Jim and she probably spoke without thinking what she was saying first. She'd known you as you were before and so that's how she associated and remembered you so i guess it must just have been the sheer difference that's all.

Isn't it funny how friends, colleagues, partners etc can be surprisingly negative about weight loss? My O/H thinks I've gone too far, and a friend the other day said I 'didn't look like me' (it wasn't a snide comment cos she's not like that). Got me thinking though...

Jim, you're so clearly better slim and you know that! And it's not even that the 10 years since you saw her have aged you because you really do look younger in your photos. Enough ego massage

I genuinely think some people just don't understand weight loss, and think it's somehow unhealthy or not right to diet, so maybe she had that in her mind a wee bit.

It is interesting that men get to be 'big' while women are more likely to be labelled 'fat' - bit unfair, but then I guess the fact that men can often be teased for dieting isn't fair either so it works both ways!

I think the health point is an important one too - it's not always about appearance!

When I was at my slimmest a long long time ago my closest friends would tell me I was too thin... I wasnt according to the bmi charts. These friends have known me all my life (always been a round thing) and I think they couldnt make the same connections to me in their heads.

When we diet we mentally accept the change every day, in fact we welcome it and get excited about it. Sometimes people who care for you might just have difficulty visually connecting what they see to who they think you are or what you mean to them.

At least she noticed the difference Jim, some of us are just craving the moment someone notices either way (but you have done the work already you clever thing !).

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