Sexual Myths: Debunking Them Part 3

Today’s article focuses on some common sexual myths you might have heard and helps to explain why they are wrong

The porn you watch reflects your sexualityOften times I have heard people ask on forums am I gay because I occasionally watch gay porn? Do I like bondage because I watch bondage videos? I just found my partner’s porn stash and it is filled with hentai photos. What does that mean?

The answer is that watching a specific variety of porn means nothing just by itself. Porn is a fantasy and nothing else. It is true that sometimes the porn a person watches also transfers to things they physically want to do, but this is not always the case.

First of all, things you find mentally hot do not always correspond to things you physically find hot. An example is that you may find anal sex mentally attractive, but you might not find it feels good physically. Based upon your anatomy, it just might not cause pleasurable sensations. So this is an example where porn (a fantasy) does not translate into an actual like.

I have heard of certain people watching lesbian porn because it focuses on different things than straight porn. I have heard women say it focuses more on aspects they find attractive. They like the genre and the style of shooting and how the sex takes place. And therefore find it more attractive even though they consider themselves straight.

Other people just like to experiment mentally. They just enjoy gay porn, or BDSM, or any other type of porn but have no desire to actually do it. Porn is a visual stimulus and that is vastly different than actual intercourse.

So there is no inherent connection between the porn you watch and what you actually want, or what your partner actually wants. You should consider your porn preferences and your sexual identity to be two separate things. If you come across your partner’s porn, you may want to inquire if they want to try something new, but do not assume they actually want to try something new.

Pulling out WorksThe pull out method is not a valid form of contraception because of pre-cum or pre-ejacualte. When a man becomes aroused and gets an erection, he secretes pre-cum. This is a liquid that helps balance the pH to the sperms liking, adds to lubrication, and has a couple other functions. All men secrete, but there are large variances in the amount people secrete. Some have very visible amounts, while other have very small amounts. But in the pre-cum, there is a detectable amount of sperm. So even if you pull out before ejaculation, there are still sperm in the woman’s vagina. There are not a large number, so the likelihood of pregnancy is quite low, but there still is a possibility of pregnancy. It is far safer to use a condom, because this decreases the amount of sperm that are potentially viable.

Women Want Multiple OrgasmsThere are lots of articles and posts and porn about giving women multiple orgasms, and how that is what all women want. In fact this is simply not true. Each person has different desires when it comes to sexual intercourse. There are women who are very similar to men and get extremely sensitive after an orgasm. Sensitive to the point where more stimulation can become uncomfortable. My girlfriend is a person where after she has had an orgasm does not want sexual intercourse to continue. She wants to take a break, rest, and let some of the sensitivity to dissipate before (if we decide) to have a second round of intercourse.

Each person has their own likes and desires and you really have to ask them what they want. There are some people who want no orgasms. There are some people who want one, and there are some people who want multiple orgasms. The only way to find out though is to ask. Not all women want multiple orgasms. So forget what you have heard and just ask your partner what they want.

I think it is also important here to say the same holds true for men. Not all men are done after they have an orgasm and/or have ejaculated. Some men have zero refractory period and can continue having sex without ever stopping. Some men enjoy multiple dry orgasms. Again this all comes down to a person's specific experience and you cannot generalize how a person wants their orgasms and how many orgasms a person wants based upon their gender.

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I am a 21 year old male currently in a relationship. I am very sexually open. I like BDSM, anal play, and really all things sexual. I am always looking at trying new things in the bedroom. I like to make some of my own toys, but I love to shop for them as well.