(Closed) Gift Question

Let me preface this by saying my friend was asking me what to do – and I couldn’t really give an answer so I’m asking you bees for help. My friend went to a wedding where she was the “personal attendant” – I have no idea what that is. Either way – it was an out of town wedding and the bride required she be there for the rehearsal dinner and then the night of at a block of rooms that were about $150/night.

So my friend goes with her boyfriend and daughter, but because of the large cost doesnt give a gift. A few days later – the bride emails my friend and says – I just wanted to know if you gave a card because we can’t find one from you. Is that super rude? How should she respond?

I’m not saying my friend is right in not giving a gift – the least she could do is give a card (even empty) but how does she respond to her friend?

@krstino1012: yes, the bride is super rude for asking non-directly if they gave a gift.

How to respond? I mean, your friend could have given a card at the least, even if it was empty. Maybe she can just say I forgot to bring it with me and I have been meaning to mail it but then the bride might assume she is getting a gift…this is tricky and awkward!

@krstino1012: I think some of my cards were stolen at my first wedding and I debatde on whether to ask guests if they gave me one or not but I ultimately decided not to ask. I didn’t really care if they had money or not, it was just disturbing that more than half of my guests didn’t even give us a card with their congratulations. The best response in this case to the rude question is to ignore it.

If the bride persists then let her know that you forgot to bring a card to the wedding and drop one in the mail (no money, just congratulations.) If the bride has the audacity to mention the lack of gift, then point out the money spent making sure you were able to spend that special day with her and her groom and leave it. If she is a rude beyotch that still wants a gift then you know where you stand with her (i.e. you are a walking gift and not an actual person) and it’s time to reconsider her position in your life.