Opening Hearts and Homes

April 27, 2018

Finding joy in foster parenting.

Jordan and Maleah Crate

As a newlywed, the frequently asked question, “So, when will you guys start having kids?” is unavoidable. But, no one ever asks, “So, when do you plan on opening your home to raise someone else’s kid?” Which was what I was asking myself — a lot.

I found myself so content with all that God had given us, that I was uncomfortable. Which, I know, sounds crazy, but I don’t think I’m the only one who has been there. We had empty seats at our table, a bedroom we never went into, and space in our car for a few more little humans. God had been so generous and kind to give us all we needed, it felt wrong to keep it to ourselves.

In September 2017, my husband and I started the foster approval process. The four- to six-month process consisted of a lot of paperwork, home visits and interviews. In February of this year, we got our first placement — two boys, ages 5 and 2, and cute as could be.

We had been married a little over a year at this point. I will never forget opening my front door to those little boys, who I had never seen. They were holding hands and trying to be brave. That morning, they had woken up in a home of neglect and instability, not knowing things were going to change. They were dropped off at the Department of Family and Child Services office, left by someone they trusted, and ended up on our doorstep — with nothing but a garbage bag of dirty clothes that didn’t fit.

It is such a humbling feeling to be considered fit to love these children back to a place of security and worth. The little boys, who were our first placement, weren’t with us long. They were restored with their dad, who has loved and taken care of them so well.

A comment most foster parents hear is, “I could never give them back, it would be too hard.” Yes, watching our boys leave was one of the hardest things we have done, and we will always love and miss them, but we aren’t “giving them back.” While we loved them like they were our own, the reality is, they never were ours to give back. We are responsible to be faithful to love them until their parents are ready to, and what a gift that is. Foster care is so much more than taking a child in and loving them as your own. It is loving and supporting their parents — who desperately need it. It is modeling how parents are supposed to treat their kids, and how parents are supposed to treat each other.

We currently are fostering our third little boy, and we will celebrate our second wedding anniversary this month. Being foster parents has been the hardest, most joy-filled and humbling thing my husband and I have ever said yes to. And, I am so glad we did.

By Maleah Crate, Maleah serves on staff at First Baptist Woodstock.

National Foster Care Month 2018

By the Numbers13,939 approximate number of children in Georgia in DFCS custody as of December 2017.Source: fostergeorgia.com/demographics-of-children-in-foster-care.

383 children in foster care in Cherokee County, at press time. Number can change daily.

400 approximate number of foster youth in Georgia who are available for adoption and waiting on a family to call their own.

1,184 number of children transitioned from state custody into adoptive families in fiscal year 2017.Source: Georgia Department of Human Services Fiscal Year 2017 Fact Book.

• Must be at least 10 years older than the child to be placed, and, if single, be at least 25 years of age.

• Must complete a medical exam, fingerprint checks, and undergo child welfare and criminal records checks/screenings. If you or any other adult household members (over age 18) have not been a resident of Georgia for a minimum of five years, you must be screened in the child abuse and neglect registry of each state of prior residence.

• Must complete a two-hour orientation in the local county office or via the internet.