11/07/2016

PERHAPS TOO MUCH ALONE TIME?

Hey Zengarmy,Hi. It's me. It's me blogging again after 14 days of hiatus!It's kinda crazy because according to my Blogger analytics,during the last 14 postless days there's still click activity onthis blog (which means there are still people coming back)even though no new post is published! If you're one of thosereaders who didn't subscribe but came back every once anda while to check out if there's a new post on this blog, thenTHANK YOU SO MUCHHH!!! You know who you are heheheh!So, in my previous post, which was exactly 14 days ago,I mentioned that my finals are approaching and there's ahigh possibility that I might not be blogging too frequently,AND WELL, I was only partially correct — I didn't blog at all.During the last two weeks I was in such a mood that all I wascapable of doing is storing information and storing information.And hmmm.... what else?Yes. Storing information.I basically wasn't in much of a creative mood.But now that I've sat for my first paper todayand gained some relief (2 more papers to go!),I think it's finally the time to write another blog postand kickstart my one-post-a-week routine like I used to!

Today's blog post is inspired by this video by Savannah Brown,where she talked about the reason behind her social anxiety andhow she has been coping with it so far, which I do find some of herexperiences similar to mine. Now I do want to point out the fact thatsocial anxiety is not equal to shyness. Shyness can be a part of socialanxiety, but being shy doesn't make you suffer from social anxiety.I hope this doesn't confuse you.If so, please take a moment to digest it.Even though I suffer from anxiety, social anxiety is not a big partof my anxiety. For most of the days if I was feeling anxious whilewalking in public, I can just suppress/ease my anxiety by pluggingin my earphone and bracing through the crowd. Compared to thosewho suffer from severe social anxiety that they can't even spend timeoutdoors with other people, my social anxiety was considered nothingnext to them. Having said that, lately I've been feeling more and moreuneasy when I need to step outside of my hostel and interact with peopleoutside of my comfort zone. It was probably due to the fact that I've beencopped up in my studying-for-finals bubble for too long that I feel stressedwhen I need to spend effort to talk, engage and communicate with others.

Sometimes I think I love my alone timea little bit too much than average people.Just like what is mentioned by Savannah in her video,I felt the same way too. Ever since I was 9 I felt nothing wrong withbeing alone, not in a i'm-already-so-great-don't-talk-to-me style,but more in no-thanks-i'm-comfortable-in-my-own-company style.Also, I don't often feel the need to talk, which might be possibly dueto me being afraid to talk to people ➜ eventually giving up on talkingto people ➜ forced to negate the need to talk to people, and so on.There was once when I didn't mouth a single word for about 3 days,until I need to head to the grocery store to buy food and stuffs.That's just how abnormal I am hahahah.But then the other day when I saw this picture onmy Tumblr I actually laughed out a little bit too loud.( PS : It wasn't meant to be funny but I'm weird )