or as near as I can get - I'd settle for being listened to by the kids but that's a different story.

I will:

One: require all manufacturers of computer related appliances that are large enough, to have a built in pocket to store the device's install and setup disc. (Scanners printers etc.) For a couple of years now my scanner has talking to me in Italian:

all attempts to make it speeka da Inglish failed. What I needed was the original installation disc and start from scratch. Could I find it? Could I buggers. Today, in a far corner of the loft, I find the box the scanner came in and TWO install discs. Everything should come with a clearly labelled pocket IN THE MACHINE for storing the things until needed.

Two: shoot the idiot who designed the standard Citroen steering column lighting stick.

C4 Picasso - but the Berlingo which we had prior to it was the same design.

I have several times inadvertently switched off all my lights while trying to switch off the foglights. One of the great hazards of night driving round here is the stupidly large number of red deer that wander about the place. I hit one once they don't give you a lot of warning before deciding to cross the road right in front of you and are impressively big animals when you look up at them through a windscreen. (And Berlingos aren't exactly low on the ground.) Having the fog lights on gives a wide spread of light that means you can see off the sides of the roads across the moor and spot the buggers sooner.

Turning the foglights off so as not to dazzle oncoming vehicles seems at least polite and is possibly a legal requirement in non-foggy conditions. The way the Citroen lighting stick is arranged means it's quite easy to twist both ring switches at once, and thus turn off all the lights, plunge the world into darkness and oncoming drivers into a state of panic.

I DID mean the scanner - I know nothing about cars! I was just interested to check, and a quick googling of that info provided pdf's of the manuals. I expect they'll have the drivers there too. For the next time the discs vanish on you!