Saturday, January 9, 2016

Walking Ms. Mitzi

Walking Ms. Mitzi is always an adventure, because I never know if I will be out for five minutes or an hour. Ms. Mitzi's walks are all about her. Most days, she happily walks about 6-8 blocks; on a good day she will double that. Rainy days or dark days or days when she just isn't feeling up to it, we walk anything from the length of the driveway to a block or two down the road before she insists on being homeward bound.

When she decides the walk is over, the walk is over - she does a smart about face and marches off in the other direction. Obedient servant that I am, I follow - besides, eight pound Mitzi has the strength and determination of a seventy pound untrained one year old lab or rottweiler when she puts her mind to something.

Time to go home now.

But on a typical day, when she does her 6-8 block route, we move at a pace of about 6 blocks an hour. In thirty minutes we can do three blocks; in thirty minutes with my recent guest dog, I covered three kilometers.

So? You have a problem with that?

Why so slow? Well, first of all she is very little and getting old. But that's not the main reason, as she can certainly move quickly when she wants to head home or when she is chasing me around the house in our daily game of zoomies. The main reason she is so slow is that she likes to read her p-mail. You know. The informative canine newsletter that is left at the base of each post. And then send a little p-mail of her own.

Lotta posts and lotta p-mail to read here!You don't hear me complaining about how long it takes you to read your email and all those facebook and blog posts every morning, Mama Jean!

Ms. Mitzi routinely spends about five minutes reading the p-mail on just one pole. Multiply that by the dozens of hydro poles, lamp posts, stop signs, bus stops, and even fence posts on our route, and you'll understand why it takes a loooooooonnnnnnng time to walk Ms. Mitzi.

Yesterday, I stood holding the other end of her leash while she spent an extraordinarily long time (I swear it was fifteen minutes) sniffing the base of a lamp post. Finally, I asked her "Mitzi, what is taking so long? Why do you have to sniff and pee on Every Single Pole on our walks?"

And I am quite sure I heard her sing this reply:

I’m peeing on the lamppost at the corner of the street

In case a certain little poodle comes by.

Oh me. Oh my. I hope that little poodle comes by.

He’s wonderful, he’s marvelous,

He’s absolutely fabulous,

And any dog can understand why,

I’m peeing on the lamppost at the corner of the street

In case a certain little poodle comes by!

I’m peeing on the lamppost at the corner of the street

In case a certain little poodle comes by

Oh me. Oh my. I hope that little poodle comes by.

He doesn’t always come this way,

But just in case he comes this way

I’m peeing so he knows I said “hi!”

I’m peeing on the lamppost at the corner of the street

In case a certain little poodle,

A sweet and charming poodle,

A very special poodle comes by!

Hi Thibeau!

(With apologies to Herman's Hermits, who were my favourite group back in the 1960s. For those readers too young to remember them, here's a link to their version of the song.)

6 comments:

Oh, I love it!!! Sparkle and Mitzi would make a good pair, however Sparkle does go bit faster, I guess she's anxious to see who's message is on the next tree!It's easy to find the p-mail with all the snow here right now, yellow snow sure stands out! Great post, Jean.

Mark, I grew up on George Formby - my uncle used to do wonderful renditions of his songs, especially "When I'm cleaning windows". I knew George did Mitzi's song, and thought about citing both - but Herman's Hermits won out because I always loved their stuff so much! :)