Humanist (n) – one who supports equality for all humanity no matter how anybody else feels about it

April 27, 2017April 28, 2017

Sex and Sexuality: how free should you be? Here’s what I think…

This misunderstanding inspired me to further explain how I feel about sexual labels and judgment.

The original post asked commentors to give their “definition of a hoe.” So wanting to set the tone and make it clear that personal sexual choices should never make someone a hoe, I offered a definition…

which was at some point misunderstood by someone else…. just read the commentary and let’s get this discussion going below the attached image.

So what happened above is that the person who replied assumed that I included “sexually active and open” in my definition,

but obviously I had not mentioned either. Matter of fact those specific words were INTENTIONALLY OMITTED because of my personal feelings about the words “hoe” and “freak.”

So allow me to explain…

Sexual behavior has long been a tool of racialized systems

to demonize and criminalize the behavior of black and brown people, while also controlling political struggles among whites in leadership positions. (ex: the Bill Clinton fiasco)

This has been ongoing for at least 300 years within the colonial era, and prior to that it was a tool used inside of Europe itself as a means of controlling the caste systems of poor and wealthy.

So fast forward to 2017, and what you have is a battle between those who want to continue to view sex through a lens of stigma and dogma against those who seek freedom of choice in all areas of life.

This is why the far right use “gay marriage” and “abortion” to manipulate their voter base to go against their own best interests in other policy areas, just so the “sexuality” appears to be legislated.

This is how the far right is successful at removing sex ed classes and refusing to allow condoms to be given to high school students free of charge, because there is a deep desire within a fragment of the US population that wants to hold on to the idea that controlling sexual behavior is a cornerstone of “civilization,” or at least a so-called “Christian civilization.”

In doing so,the far right keeps their constituents distracted with antiquated ideas of black and brown savagery, exchanging the stories of “dark Africa” for the stories of “maroons” of the Caribbean and cannibals of South America for the modern day distorted narrative of today’s so-called “ghettos” and “inner city” and everything “urban.”

It’s how they sold the idea in the 1970s and since then that weed was a horrible substance and created the “war on drugs” and the idea of “gangsta rap” all as a measure of furthering that FALSE NARRATIVE about the sexuality of black and brown people as vulgar. And to convince the white community that they should distrust their own desires and fight against their own biological need for affection in order to “get to Heaven.”

ALL OF THIS HAS BEEN A METHOD OF CONTROL AND DISTRACTION: “PAY ATTENTION TO THE SEX AND IGNORE ALL ELSE”

It was no longer “breads and circuses” as in Roman times. Now it’s about teaching a fear of Sex and Weed

to distract from the true needs of the people that were and still are being neglected as often as they can get away with it.

So what does this all have to do with my views on sex and sexuality??? EVERY F***ING THING

People have the right to enjoy sex and to have as many or as few partners as they wish. People can choose to be gay or straight or bi or even asexual if they so choose. They can use toys, hang up side down… none of that matters. Sex is like how you choose to enjoy your lunch: it’s your own damn prerogative and you should never be judged as “valued” or “worthy” by any one else’s personal feelings about your personal choices about your own body!!!

What are my rules?

As long as you are not pressuring any one else into something, as long as you are not manipulating anyone who is economically or emotionally in a precarious position. And as long as no one under the age of 18 is involved. That’s where I draw the line.

Children and teens are forming their identities and boundaries. They have a right to develop who they are without any one else diverting them or distorting them.

People who are in financial need or who are emotionally broken should never be manipulated through that.

These 3 groups are equally vulnerable in my perspective

and any one who takes advantage of them is vile and corrupt, and when it comes to kids and teens, you deserve to be castrated if you violate their right to form themselves freely and securely.

If you manipulate someone who is in an economic struggle or drug addiction or psychological condition, you deserve jail time for manipulating someone who would have chosen differently if not in a desperate situation.

As far as the emotional sufferers, I can’t say that the manipulator deserves any sort of legal punishment, because it’s harder to determine who is or is not emotionally vulnerable to manipulation, BUT if you become aware of it and still use that to your advantage, that’s just disgusting on your part.

But in all other situations, where one, two or more adults of sound mind engage in consensual sex,

it’s no one else’s damn business what they do, how they do it, who they do it with, or how many people they are with in any given time period. If you don’t approve of what they do, just don’t participate.