J.K. Rowling Just Wrote A New Harry Potter Story And We've Got The Details

As the Quidditch World Cup has played out by report at the official Harry Potter website, Ginny Potter (nee Weasley) has been reporting from the games, delivering the updates for those wizards and muggles who can't be present at the magical event. But it was Rita Skeeter's recent report that has Potter fans abuzz today, as the gossip columnist, who's known to be "enchantingly nasty" with a quill, reported of Dumbledore's Army's attendance the fictional event, including an update on Harry, Ron and Hermione. In other words, J.K. Rowling has given us new Harry Potter material, presented as a gossip report.

Before we get to that, it's well worth noting that in the Harry Potter universe, by the timeline set in the books, we're still a few years away from the "Nineteen Years Later" epilogue in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. That chapter was set in 2017, therefore, the updates mentioned by Rita Skeeter in her Daily Prophet article today are actually the status of the characters three years prior to little Albus Severus Potter boarding the Hogwarts Express for the first time. But the article offers plenty of information, colored with Rita Skeeter's flair for gossip and the occasional jab at Harry and others.

What did Rita reveal?

The article is posted at Pottermore.com, the official Harry Potter website, which has recently been running a series of "articles" penned by the Daily Prophet's Quidditch Correspondent, Ginny Potter, who's been reporting out of the Patagonian desert, where the event is taking place.

Rita's article -- which can also be found at Today.com -- notes that Harry Potter is about to turn 34, that he's working as an Auror and his hair is starting to gray. Ron's hair is thinning -- I love the hair updates, Rita -- and we learn from the article that he left his job at the Ministry of Magic after two years to co-manage Weasley's Wizard Wheezes with George. So, Ron's not an Auror. Interesting.

Hermione, meanwhile, is Deputy Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and from what Rita says, it sounds like she's on the rise at the Ministry. That's one of the more gossipy mentions in this article that I'm inclined to believe. I'm also not opposed to believing Neville Longbottom and his wife Hannah (nee Abbott) enjoy a bit of firewwhisky when relaxing at the Leaky Cauldron after a hard days work. We knew from the Deathly Hallows epilogue that Neville was the Herbology professor at Hogwarts, and that appears to be the case three years prior as well. As for Hannah, it sounds like she might be poised to take over the job of Matron at Hogwarts. Is Madam Pomfrey retiring?

And then there's Luna, who's apparently wandering around the Quidditch World Cup dressed in a cloak made up of all the country's flags. Awesome. Rowling actually revealed previously that Luna married Rolf Scamander, grandson to Newt -- author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them and the central character of the anticipated Fantastic Beasts movies. Luna and Rolf have twin children.

Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley are apparently attached at the mouth at this point, and we know they'll continue to date through 2017, as James Potter distressfully reports of seeing them snogging on the platform. Meanwhile, Charlie Weasley is still unmarried, Bill and Fleur are still together, and Percy's working for the Department of Magical Transportation.

Rita ponders the theory that Harry Potter might be facing a "new age of terror." We talk about that after the jump...