Jeff Bianchi

Oh man, did the Crew need that win yesterday! Even up 11-1, I thought K Rod might blow the lead. The way things have gone…

But it’s not all about me and the Brewers! At least, that’s what the girlfriend keeps telling me… Yesterday, Wily Peralta showed some exceptional stuff in easily the biggest game of 2014 for Milwaukee, but the day before, high-profile prospect Jimmy Nelson looked to make a statement as the newly entrenched starter.

Anddddddddd… It didn’t go so hot.

Sporting absolutely stupid numbers in the PCL (1.46 ERA 0.92 WHIP 114 K in 111 IP), Nelson also shined in his 2014 debut, a 5.2 inning spot start allowing no runs on 8 base runners with 6 Ks for a W. But the mightily cold Brewers squared off against the red hot Redbirds to spoil his encore. How much was his atrocious start impacted by wrong guy, wrong place syndrome? Should you still be holding on if you picked him up? I decided to take an uncomfortable (for me) walk down memory lane to really break down how Nelson looked pitch-by-pitch:

Do you remember those Will Smith albums? Yikes – hard to believe he actually does serious movies. As in, “seriously?” Like Seven Pounds. “Oh I want to donate my heart to some chick with a heart problem that somehow got affected by my texting and driving accident. So why don’t I hop into a bathtub with an extremely toxic jellyfish – that’ll make my heart just fine for a transplant, right?” Seriously this got greenlit! Oh – spoiler alert! Wait, isn’t that supposed to be before you say what happened? Work on your timing!

Well the Fresh Prince of Milwaukee (wait strike that, you can’t call another Brewer “Prince”…) Wily Peraltaburst onto the scene last year with huge power stuff, then Sky went out and wrote a sleeper piece on the big guy before the season started, and it looked like Sky would be the butt of our jokes early this season. And my, besides writing on Bartolo Colon, tough to get more butt. Ok I kid – as a Brewers fan I can tell you Peralta is just an overall big dude – he’s not sporting a David Wells gut.

Last week around the Razzball water cooler, Sky was like, “you should be my creeper of the week.” Boy does he wish he took that back. I rolled up about 5 driveways down from his house at 13(redacted)5 (redacted)field Lane, (redacted)town, (redacted) in my 1985 maroon Chevy Astro and grew a Derek Holland/Tyler Skaggs-esque-stache until the moment was ripe. While he may have you think he’s working on some awesome content over there at Razzball Football, I actually hired a look alike off Craigslist to post his work. I mean, look at how fuzzy his picture is, I could get anyone from Channing Tatum to The Elephant Man to Tehol. Trust me, that’s not the only thing Tehol advertises as “his services” on Craigslist.

Adam Eaton went 2-for-6 with a run yesterday as the Diamondbacks called up their outfield prospect, and hit him leadoff. The move is to fill in for Krispie, who’s out with a sore quad. Krispie could return (he won’t go to the DL because with 40-man rosters, there’s no need to), but Eaton’s not coming up to play in one game a week. Please, blog, may I have some more?