NFL Predictions

Every year right before the NFL season starts, I take a look at the Seahawks schedule and try to pick wins and losses. Inevitably, I end up predicting that they’ll go 11-5, which is funny, since they’ve never actually had an 11-5 record in their history (and only 5 double digit winning seasons ever). This year, I’m guessing that they’ll go 10-6 and winning the NFC West, which would be fantastic, given the horror of last year.

I’ve decided to expand my predictions for this year and actually go through each team’s schedule picking wins and losses thereby giving me a complete picture of the season.

I went in without a preconceived notion of how many wins each team would have, I focused on each game and thought about the random upsets that happen along the way.

I’m surprised by the records that these teams put together in my land of make believe, but I do like how it turned out.

Take a look:

American Football Conference

AFC East
New England Patriots: 10-6
Miami Dolphins: 7-9
New York Jets: 6-10
Buffalo Bills: 4-12Comments: New England is clearly the class of the division, but that isn’t saying much because each one of these teams has taken a step back. Miami is probably still as good as they were last year, but the division is playing better teams this year (The Souths are much, much better than the Wests).

AFC North
Baltimore Ravens: 11-5
Pittsburgh Steelers: 10-6
Cleveland Browns: 7-9
Cincinnati Bengals: 6-10Comments: I love Baltimore, even if they did lose their d-coordinator. This team is tough and has a very good running game. I like Pittsburgh for the same reasons, even if I do wish that they would all rot in Hades. Both Cleveland and Cincy are bad teams, but they’ll be much improved from last year.

AFC South
Jacksonville Jaguars: 12-4
Tennessee Titans: 11-5
Indianapolis Colts: 10-6
Houston Texans: 8-8 Comments:For my money, the toughest division in football. Each of these teams is playoff worthy, even if the Texans have never been. The funny thing is I didn’t even try to pick them to go 8-8, it just happened that way. It’s just destiny for them. They have some very talented guys and definitely have the coolest new-team logo in the league, but Matt Schaub will miss at least three games and they’ll matter. I absolutely loved Tennessee last year and I also dug Jacksonville as well. I’m predicting a bounce-back year for the Jags, mostly because they’ve rid themselves of their drug-adled WRs. (It pains me to say that because I honestly thought that Reggie Williams would be a beast in the league.

But instead, he resembles Scarlett Johansson because he’s far more busty than beasty.

AFC West
San Diego Chargers: 10-6
Kansas City Chiefs: 6-10
Oakland Raiders: 4-12
Denver Broncos: 3-13Comments: San Diego is very good and I keep hearing how LaDanian Tomlinson is due to return to form. I like Phillip Rivers and I really like Vincent Jackson. Their defense is very good as well. I don’t see any way that they don’t run away with this division. KC is terrible, and will be worse now that Cassel is out with an MCL sprain. Oakland is a clown factory, and who the hell knows what to expect from Denver, except for bad times? National Football Conference

NFC East
New York Giants: 12-4
Philadelphia Eagles: 11-5
Dallas Cowboys: 10-6
Washington Redskins: 3-13 Comments: The second best division in the league, only because the Redskins drag them down. I know that they’ve got some talent on this team, but I just don’t see them putting it together. I like Jim Zorn, but tell me that he’s not getting fired after this year, even if they don’t finish with that apocalyptic 3-13 record I hung on them. (Strangely, I actually had them going 1-15 when I did my first pass through the schedule, not realizing that I had them losing so much. While I don’t like their team, they’re winning more than 1 game… even if it’s only 2 more). NYG is a tough team and I’m an Eli believer. I actually like the Eagles chances a little more than the Giants, but that’s not the way the picks went. Either way, they’re all making the playoffs, except for the lowly Redskins.

NFC North
Green Bay Packers: 13-3
Chicago Bears: 7-9
Minnesota Vikings: 6-10
Detroit Lions: 6-10Comments: I’m really surprised by this outcome. If I hadn’t gone through this exercise I would have guessed that the Packers, Bears, and Vikings would all make the playoffs, but as it is, only the Pack has a winning record. I guess I really don’t trust Cutler, or perhaps I’m secretly rooting against him because of his weird departure from Denver. As for Minny, I just can’t board that bad-karma train. I’ve said plenty about Favre in the past, and I won’t get into that now. Of course he’s a better QB than Sage or Tavaris, but he’s not that much better anymore. Plus their coach is an idiot and I just don’t see this team “rallying” and that’s important in football. However, I absolutely love All Day, but I worry about his proclivity to get banged up and if he goes down, oh lordy…(yes Chester Taylor is a fine player, but please. Spare me).

NFC South
New Orleans Saints: 14-2
Atlanta Falcons: 9-7
Carolina Panthers: 6-10
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 5-11Comments: Someone help me, I think I just ate some hashish-spiked jambalaya. Fourteen and Two? Where did that come from? I’ve decided to stand by that number, simply because I really do like this team. Drew Brees is fantastic, they’ve got a ton of weapons… it’s their year. I’m calling it, despite the fact that they have what looks to be a pretty tough schedule (although not that tough). I like the Falcons, but they fall back to earth a little this year, although 9-7 is far from bad. I actually would have picked Carolina to go around 9-7 or even 10-6, but I guess I didn’t feel that way when actually picking the games. I do really like “Double Trouble” though.

NFC West
Seattle Seahawks: 10-6
Arizona Cardinals: 8-8
San Francisco 49ers: 6-10
St. Louis Rams: 6-10 Comments: Aberration. That’s all that it was. That and a comically horrific string of injuries made 4-12 a reality. The Hawks will be much improved this year and Arizona will be about the same, although Anquan Boldin won’t light them up as much as he did last year because he’ll be hobbled the whole season. The 49ers are just ok and if the Rams get to 6-10, it’ll be an improvement.