Too much to handle

Hi, I am a 53 old female that has taken too much on her plate and my body has now crashed. I feel so condemned being a Christian one should not allow the mind and body overrule the spirit but I am finding it very difficult to get my spirit govern my mind and soul

I've been through a very traumatic 2 years. Whilst my husband worked in another country my brother passed away due to cancer. I was alone, I could not ask my parents for support because they were also grieving. I started telling myself that I will also get cancer and imagined all the worst things that could happen to me.

To keep my mind occupied I started to occupy myself with a lot of things. I started serving on the different organizations (not Christian) and over committed myself with even church activities volunteering for everything.

This year started with my father contracting pneumonia whilst my youngest brother was overseas. Doctors told me that my father would not make it. But he did. We decided to move my parents to a retirement home close to my house (which of course brought its own stressors - my dad could not understand why we are moving them from their home).

Meanwhile I still overcommitted myself going on 2 outreaches to another country. This also brought its own stress because of the spiritual warfare.

In between the 2 outreaches my father fell and broke his hip. Once again the doctor told us he will not make it due to his age (82). It took months of therapy and hours spending time with him, be he recovered (albeit that he is less mobile now)

My body just gave in, I contracted the Swine Flu and was hospitalized. it has taken almost 3 months now to recover from the Swine Flu. Through the hospitalization doctors realized that I have high blood pressure. They have been trying to get it under control, but I think that the stress I am experiencing is not helping with this. I feel and overreact on everything little pain and think that "this is it" - I am going to die.

I have lost the drive to do anything, don't even visit my parents that often anymore and cannot get myself to attend anything. We have a few functions coming up for year-end and each one seems to be like a mountain in front of me. I start having irrational thoughts on I will die when attend or loose my mind whilst being at the function.

To make all things worse my youngest brother is immigrating at the end of December - so all my support I have for my parents will be gone. and before that I have to take a 2 hours flight to another town for a tournament my son is going take part in. Between crying, thinking irrational thought and not being able to concentrate on my work I have become useless.

I tried to speak to my husband but he just says - address your mountain. Tried to speak to our church's intercessor be she just shrugged and did not even help me.

I find it so difficult to focus on God and his promises when my mind is totally out of control and I cannot capture it, I cannot focus on reading the bible, listening to Christian music, or watching a Christian channel on tv !

where do I start in building my faith again?

Comments for Too much to handle

I just want to say that you are a strong women! I know you don't feel that way, but you are! Regardless of how you are feeling, thinking... the truth still remains! God did not intend for us to do life alone. So often we take on those mountains by ourselves, if not physically, at least mentally, emotionally! With excessive stress and anxiety, it's so easy to feel alone and to mentally carry those burdens alone. But we are not alone! The bible tells us that God is with us and will never leave us! Psalm 34:18-20(NIV)says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all;he protects all his bones,not one of them will be broken."Do not feel guilty or condemned for being human! As Christians we learn as we go. No one can master overcoming the flesh without many given opportunities! In other words, struggle is part of this Christian walk. We are not promised to have an easy road. One thing you must remember is that the mind and body work together... even if the body is exhausted through stress (sensitized nerves), it almost always affects the mind. Even if you take the time to keep your mind straight, your body is still going to warn you to slow down, to take better care of yourself and will behave in ways and give you symptoms (mental and physical) so that you will pay attention and take care of yourself. Most times, people who are susceptible to this anxiety, panic trap, are those who don't listen to their bodies - they don't slow down, they push themselves into burnout!Truth is, you cannot rush recovery from anxiety, panic, or the like. It is something, that when you find yourself in the midst of it, you need to put yourself in "float" mode. Many times that "mountain" was created by us simple because of the amount of pressure we put on ourselves to get more done than we should. It's okay to say no. It's okay to prioritize and it's OKAY to be human! You ask, "where do I start building my faith again?" Well, I say, it starts with Philippians 4:4-9 - I understand what you are saying, that it's hard to focus on all the things that you should, but surround yourself with it anyways. Accept your automatic negative thoughts, realize they are there, but don't give them power. You give them power and make them stronger by your intense desire to rid yourself of them... you increase their importance. So try this -- Make a list of things you want repeat to yourself everyday when your negative thinking kicks in -- Something like this, "it's okay, I'm human", "God loves me no matter what stress I am facing", "It's ok to take my time, to be good to myself, to rest and give my body/mind time to recovery", "I am healthy, I am strong and I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength", "I am never alone. God is always with me", "I give myself permission to take things slow, to rest and recover no matter how long it takes." Make a list, repeat it back until you know it by heart! It has been said that it can take a thousand times of repeating truth, to rid yourself of old thoughts. You must be persistent and not give up! Repetition is your friend! ;) You won't be stuck here forever! Just accept, float, and let this pass & in the meantime, talk to yourself properly, take care of your body through relaxation methods.. and if you find it extremely difficult, talk to your doctor about finding something to take the edge off while you work on yourself and your "mountain". Hang in there! One day at a time....

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