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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Retrospective

New Year's day ~ now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual! Mark Twain.

I'm feeling a great sense of calm as 2010 nears its entry into all of our lives. It's ushering itself in on the heels of what a has been a meritable past 365 days. There is so much to be thankful for, that I thought I would turn this post into a gratitude list.

1. So much blue sky and sunshine all year round. I always thought living on coastal BC was the ultimate when it came to scenery and outdoor adventure, but I must confess that this big Alberta sky has stamped itself on my heart. Never would have believed that I'd trade mountains for canola fields. It feels like the world is wide open both above me and before me. There is so much room to breathe! I'm grateful to be starting a new year with this feeling in my heart.

2. Rilke wrote in his Letters to a Young Poet tohave patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and books in foreign languages. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the questions. Gradually, without even noticing it, some distant day you will find yourself experiencing the answers. This year became that distant day in many regards... I've learned to live with congruence of the inside on the outside. And, because of this, there has been more balance and an authentic spirit that seeks increasingly creative expression. Many of the things that tore at my mind and heart (like God and religion) have dissipated and lost their power and influence. I am so thankful that I can live a truth that is mine ~ no need to tear down or take apart another's truth so that mine can be justified. I'm grateful for the answers that have come and also for the questions that remain. I'm grateful for both the tangible and intangible opportunities my life gives me, so that I can grow and be joyful.

3. This year I started a book club with some pretty remarkable women. I'm grateful for how humbled I feel to be a part of their lives in this way and to share books and ideas with such intelligent females. Our first book was The Book of Negroes (also published as Someone Knows My Name in the US) by Lawrence Hill. This read made me thankful for the small and simple things we take for granted in life and that to whom much is given, much should be required. In comparison, our lives are so easy and we require so little of ourselves that we should be ashamed.

4. When I go to the grocery store, I can buy anything I want there. This is a luxury that countless people the world over would trade for. I am grateful that I have been blessed with a life of abundance and prosperity (even though I think those 2 words are ridiculously over used).

5. I am grateful for the clarity and insight I have as I observe my own life ~ I am indeed the manifestor of my own destiny. I love the challenges of life, they are the exciting part! Sometimes put in the way as obstacles to showcase our skill.

6. Travel is one of my favorite things. At Easter we made a trip to Vegas (where we met up with old friends, ate exciting cuisine and shopped in decadent stores). In the summer, I went back east to visit my family (as I do every year) and then flew the coupe to Rome for a week of slow travel. Slow Traveling is by far my favorite way to experience any place, I don't need more hectic in my life, I want the time to count, to feel languid and long. I'm grateful that my life is overflowing with opportunity right now, it is so easy to make things happen. I welcome (with arms stretched open) more of this.

7. On the work front, I signed a continuing contract and got a hefty wage increase AND the mill my husband works for resolved their contract negotiations just days before Christmas!!! Such welcome news for our community. I'm thankful for being in this flow, as it makes fulfilling the life I want that much easier. This year I've had HUGE breakthroughs with my relationship and attitude toward money. Money is a tool that allows us to increase the boundaries of our lives ~ if you don't recognize this, you too might need a breakthrough! I'm grateful to be in this financial place at this time in my life.

Really, the things I am grateful for are too innumerable to write them all down. I'm living from a place of genuine thanksgiving in my heart. When you can be thankful for the difficult stuff, you're on to something. Namaste, my friends. I wish for us all great blessings in the days to come.