Darkness…

I lay here night after night, staring into the darkness, willing the tears to stay hidden. The tears that feel as if they would never stop if I allowed them to fall. A feeling of heaviness inside. Slowly the weightlessness of my spirt feels as though it is leaving. I feel defeated. Sleep dances further and further away from me each night, mocking me as I desperately try to catch it. Mental exhaustion is evil. There’s no magic off switch for my brain and so our challenges swirl and crash like a storm raging in my mind. When sleep does come, it’s restless and broken. Woken with a jolt. Was that a dream or real life? It gets hard to tell some nights and so I fall back into a disturbed slumber. A little hand slides across my body, a nose touches mine, a sleepy smile. He’s awake. I hold him tight, breathing in his life and his love and I know that I will do it all again today and be his voice. I would die for him.