I had been meaning to write a journal entry about how I wish I could find my faith again. How even despite all the things that are unfortunate and that go wrong in my life, if I had my faith I would be able to handle them better. I'd been thinking about it a lot after last weekend after having spent most of Saturday night in tears because of how much I hated my life. After that I realized that I needed to have a better outlook on life, and I needed to have a better method for dealing with the misfortunes in my life. I realized that if I didn't I wasn't going to survive. Well, I guess my prayers were answered because I'm here typing this to you. Slightly after 5:00 AM on Saturday morning, on my way back to UConn from a long day of work and an evening of fun with friends, I fell asleep at the wheel and my car went off the highway. At what I imagine was about 50mph, my car bounced off a tree and then flipped and rolled over and over until finally stopping a good 100ft off of 84 East. Thankfully, I had no passengers and thankfully I avoided what little traffic there was on the highway at that hour. Most thankfully though I crawled out of the car with nothing more than a few scrapes and bruises. Looking at my car which is now nothing more than a twisted piece of metal, I can not believe that I am alive let alone barely injured. I'm sore and shaken up, but I'm okay. It wasn't anyones fault but my own for being stupid enough to drive home, and I am only ashamed at my carelessness. I am so thankful that I have wonderful friends and people who care about me who took care of me yesterday. I don't know what I would've done without them. And I am so thankful to God for this wakeup call. I know that's what it was, and I needed that. Unfortunately, my precious baby Echo paid the largest price here, and I am sad to say she will never see the light of day again. But really, a totaled car is a small consequence when one thinks about how much worse things could've been. But really, I just wanted to thank everyone who has offered me their prayers and concerns and help and well wishes. And all I can say is, please always wear your seatbelt (it without a doubt saved my life), don't drive if you're tired (it's just as bad if not worse than driving drunk), and don't take the goodness in your life for granted ever. Know that everything happens for a reason and there is always a positive side to even the worst situations. Also, know that I love you, and that I'm grateful that you're a part of my life. I'll stop before I get too sappy or out there. I'm quite screwed because I have a shitload of stuff due this week and not enough time to do all of it, so I'm going to try and be a little bit productive before I need to lie down from the pain. Later, skaterz.

"Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I have for myself." -Jamie, A Walk to Remember

mood: thankful

music:"Head On Collision" - A New Found Glory

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Comments

laura this brought tears to my eyes.. i'm so glad that you have found your faith again, it made me think earlier when i saw your away message, "church", about how long it's been since i've gone and if i'd ever go back. i know that it can really help people through tough times. it really reminds you that you never know when something might happen to a person that you love and i'm so thankful that you are ok. i wish i could be closer, but if you ever need anything you know i'm here for you and i love you hun. xoxo <3