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Throughout my life, I liked daydreaming. Playing out different scenarios in my head and pondering the possibilities in life. I have always been bored with church; seeing it as just a couple hours I have to slog through each Sunday. Being raised in a Christian family, Christianity was all I knew. Then I realized that religion is faith, a personal belief, not an inherited one. I felt like my religion was holding me back. Plus, the concept of the afterlife didn't appeal to me much. Hell didn't seem all the welcoming. And heaven has it's vip list. Also, heaven seems too perfect in contrast to reality. This makes me think that it can't possibly exist. Besides, I've noticed that to me, my whole point in religion was to get on that vip list. Besides there are so many religions insisting that they're the one that's right. Every religion advertises that same message; kind of like different brands of the same product. Also, the idea that once you die, it's just nonexistence appeals to me. I like sleeping, and to me, death is a better form of it.I thought that If there's no afterlife, then that's even better. Besides, in a dream, I died and experienced nonexistence & being nothing is quite relaxing.

I have always been logical, pragmatic, and skeptical. Even as a child, I had doubts. During my latter years of high school and early years in college, I investigated those doubts more closely and gave much thought to why I believed what I did. I realized it had more to do with how I was raised than because I came to my own decision. Even when I believed in god, I was never as devout as everyone around me.

I loved Christmas because I got to spend time with my family more than because of Jesus. I never believed that only people of my religion could go to heaven, I simply thought if you were a good person, that was all that mattered. I discovered early on that prayer did not change things, taking actions changed things. Already, I felt that not all of the religious doctrine was 100% correct.

At a young age, an older sibling told me that homosexuality was a sin. I believed them. But then I had friends that were gay and realized that they weren't bad people and didn't choose to be gay. I disliked how my church seemed to emphasize preparing to be a mother for young teenage women, rather than the importance of receiving an education. Many church members dismissed certain science. At no point, was I completely convinced that my religion was infallible.

At first, I dismissed this as the people in my religion were not perfect, and that ultimately, humans affected the direction of religion. Perhaps, they only interpreted god in ways convenient to them. I began to try and rationalize my belief in god, telling myself things like the earth was more likely a result of a higher power than a mathematical impossibility. Even to myself, my words rang hollow. I was at first afraid to admit I no longer believed in god. Perhaps I was afraid of the uncertainty, or maybe it was because I knew how negatively atheists were received. Perhaps it was a combination of many things.

It continued to educate myself and see the disparity of how I handled questions of god versus anything else. Why should my logical and analytical reasoning stop at god? Why shouldn't I have doubts and question my own beliefs? It occurred to me that the reason people believed in god was a result of how you were raised, cultural acceptance, believing what you want to believe, fear of the unknown, fear of death, the need to find reason/solace, etc. But those things had nothing to do with discovering truth.

I am not even sure when exactly I 'became' atheist. For me, it was a progression of being Christian to being a non-denomination spiritualist, to being an agnostic Christian/humanist, to being an agnostic Atheist. I actually don't feel the need to label myself. I am a person who simply does not believe in the supernatural.

Many of my college friends knew of my agnosticism/atheism. Many were themselves. But I kept it from my family. They knew I wasn't participating in church except the odd weekend here and there when I'd begrudgingly go with my family on visits home. But they knew I was not as active in the church.

I have dropped hints here and there about my secular viewpoints, but questions about my beliefs never arose. Finally, I graduated and moved back home until I could find a job and get on my own two feet. On Sundays, I expressed a disinterest in joining my family at church. I sometimes make comments about my opinions.

My mother finally asked me if I believed in it anymore. I hedged uncomfortably and said I didn't know, even though I am confident in my own position on the matter. Later, she asked if I believed in god. I decided not to lie. She expressed her sadness, and even now, I wonder if I should have just lied to make everyone happy even if pretending made me unhappy. I 'came out' just today. I hope this doesn't negatively affect my relationships with my family members. I'm hoping to hear from others like me who are in this same predicament.

I was born skeptic in nature. I was never a True believer. I always ask the question 'why' to whatever people say to me.

One day, at the time of 10years, I tried to kill a sparrow in a nest with a stone in the name of 'hunting'. At that time one of my cousin was keep on asking me questions basically consisting of lots of 'whys'. His intention was to imitate me.

One of his question was "why are we created on this earth by the God". I said that there were no gods.

I was raised in a Baptist family. I was the oldest of 5 and I spent most of my childhood in church. I was President of the Young People's and I spent every Wednesday evening at prayer meeting. The pastor of our church took me under his wing and so I occasionally delivered the Sunday Evening sermon. By the time I was 15 I had read the Bible through 8 times. As I studied for the sermons, the pastor introduced me to books he had gotten in seminary that were the equivalent of a musician's fake-book, but for sermons. Title, context and references all neatly wrapped up. All you had to do was throw in some banter and you had it done. This introduced me to the idea of interpretation. I was amazed that there was more than one way to look at the things I had read and re-read. This spurred some of my own interpretations and the subsequent uncomfortable questions. I started asking everyone whose opinion I regarded highly about my ideas and as my questions got tougher their answers and patience waned. Eventually my lack of understanding was chalked up to my reading scripture with a 'carnal' mind instead of a spiritual mind. That was too much for me. Secretly I went to church and even took communion with a horrible secret. I was sure that it was all a bunch of bullshit. I was reeling inside trying to figure out how to run my life when everything I had been taught up until then about the state of the universe and everyone in it was a lie. How was I to act? What would happen to me when I died? At 16 I was a mess and I confided my atheism to my 13 year old brother.My family was poor so I had been working full time since I was thirteen. I worked 8 hours on weekdays and ten hours on weekends, 7 days a week.The morning after I told my brother my secret I was YELLED out of bed. My mother was screaming at me; "John are you an atheist?" I was tired and groggy and I said; "Yes.". My mother was shocked and she said; "Why?" I replied; "I just don't think it's real." She yelled at me to get my ass to work and we would talk about it later. So I worked, went to school and then stopped at home, before my 2nd shift. When I walked into the house my parents were waiting for me and they told me they had decided that they had to remove the rotten apple to save the barrel. I was kicked out of the house at the 16, with nothing but the clothes on my back.I went to work and a co-worker told me that he had a room for rent. So I rented a room and managed to hitchhike to school and work until I could get a license and car. I had no idea how to set up a household from scratch. I was so afraid of how much my electric bill would be that I read by candle light the first month. My first electric bill was $7.30. What a relief.I was working 60+ hours a week all through high school so I could afford electricity and pots and pans and clothes and a car. I graduated from high school and eventually graduated from college, got married and had kids and one day my parents decided that they were mistaken and wanted to meet my family. I had forgiven them years earlier for the sake of my own sanity so I let them to see their grandkids. When they were in their 70's they actually apologized for using violence on us as kids (they beat us kids with their fists - no 'rod sparing' in this Christian family) and for kicking me out of the house with nothing. They missed out on knowing my family for years because of their stupid religion. My parents died as believers and they died convinced that they would see their loved one's again. I hope it comforted them. My reward for their unkindness and stupidity was freedom my mind, heart, intellect and spirit for which I have never looked back.

Hello! I am an ex-seminarian, ex-christian, ex-prayer monkey, ex-jesus devotee, and ex-all the rest of it. I was raised by Christian parents in a Christian family and now, thanks in large part to the internet brain, I have escaped. All the truly well meaning religious dogma of my past thirty years on this orb has snapped. I have to say I am both amazed and a little saddened about how easy it seems to have been to let go of all that religious baggage. There was no trauma, no being shaken to my soul, no existential panic, just freedom and relief. I'm sure everyone here knows what I'm talking about. Please honk if you love not knowing and doubt!!

The religion I left was Pentecost. My dad was actually the preacher of the church. As a child, I always tried to live as I was told. The life changer came when I was 14. I was sexually assaulted by a man in my parents church. When members of the congregation found out, I was told that it was my fault, that I was going to hell for this. I was a sheltered child-- had not even experienced my first real kiss-- yet I was the one being punished. In that moment, I realized that even if there was a God, if these people were his "disciples", I wanted nothing to do with any of them.

Since that time, I have opened my mind to the fact that there is another way of life. I do not have to be ruled an invisible man in the sky, or by people who blindly follow this invisible man.

I am 22 now, and that sheltered, ignorant little girl is gone. I have learned to think for myself, and I have found an inner strength I would not have found had I continued to follow blindly.

Thank you, thinkatheist people for giving me a place to come and feel welcomed for what I believe, rather than shunned for it.