Cost: The cost was reasonable from what I have seen of other similar products, and it was an influence in picking this brand. I paid about $18 for it at my local grocery store. Using just one scoop it comes out to about $1 a serving, so about the same as a bottle of soda.

Taste: I bought the chocolate thinking it would be the safest, and it wasn’t bad. It made me think of carob though more than chocolate, having a sweet but slightly tangy flavor. I think I will try a different flavor next time, maybe the strawberry? My wife also had the thought of adding PB2 (a peanut butter powder mix) to it, and I think I will give that a try also. Another plus, it wasn’t chalky! It was very smooth and didn’t leave a powdery taste in my mouth after drinking. I tried it both warm and iced down, I recommend it served cold.

Feeling: It left me feeling very satisfied and full. It has about 30g of protein per scoop! Wish it had a bit more fiber, it only has about 1g, but that is OK. About 2 hours later and I am still feeling fine, not overly hungry(I ate a late breakfast today so this was my lunch/snack).

Thoughts: I am happy with it, though the flavor isn’t exactly what I had hoped for. My biggest fear was that it would taste chalky and I was happy with how smooth it actually was! My main reason for buying this is for an afternoon snack, as it tends to be when I struggle the most. I think this will work very well for that!

Would i buy again: Yes I would, and if you are thinking of buying it via amazon here is a link

Really proud of myself today! Not only did I go to the gym, despite my having to reschedule with my trainer, but I also stepped outside my personal comfort zone.

When I first started working out at the gym, my biggest fear was being noticed by people. The first time I had to do squats and lunges on my own, I was so scared I was shaking! I pushed past that however, and have finally gotten to the point where I feel comfortable doing my workout. I realized that everyone was to busy looking at themselves in the mirror to notice my reflection. I could workout in peace, and now don’t even need to headphones when I lift(I used them to drown out the room as opposed to listening to music). I saw my fear, faced it and moved on.

So here I am, mid workout, just finishing my sets of lunges, when a man walks up to me. Not only does he walk up to me, but he asks me to come spot him. Inside I am freaking out, my mind races and thinks about all the times I have been the butt of jokes, but I reply “no problem happy to help”. As I am walking over I remember that he had briefly introduced himself a week or so ago when I was working with the dumbbells. This made me feel slightly better but inside I was still feeling very self-conscious, my belling showing slightly due to the cut of my workout shirt(it is made for biking so it is shorter in the front and longer in the back). It sorta came to me at this time that I really didn’t know how to “spot” someone actually. I knew the idea behind it, but having never done it, I wasn’t sure the etiquette of doing it. Would I help him lift to soon? To Late? Was I about to get someone killed because the weight was higher than I could handle? Anxiety makes you think of these types of things.

“I’ve never spotted anyone before, what would you like me to do?” I asked, because despite not wanting to look like an idiot, I didn’t want to do this wrong.

He explained what he wanted me to do, but my thoughts were still galloping around in my head. Filling me with doubt. Would I be able to handle this weight? No, because you are just a fat weakling. Is this some cruel joke that someone is playing on me? YES, because why else would they ask for your help! Are you going to just mess this up and look like an idiot? Of course you will. These were the type of thoughts that were going on in my brain.

He didn’t get hurt, he didn’t laugh at me, he didn’t do anything besides lift weights and say thank you. Afterwords we talked for a few a couple of minutes and I came to the realization that he probably was having the same self-conscious feelings that I was. Turns out, we are both humans, both new to this, and both just trying to get our “burn” on. As I went back to my workout I felt a sense of pride in myself, a few weeks ago I would have just said no, and just the fact that someone noticed me, I may never have wanted to step foot in the gym again. I did it though, I proved that I was stronger than I believed. Physically, but even more so emotionally.

I read somewhere that the best thing to do with anxiety, is to do the thing you are anxious about. Every time you don’t, you are reinforcing that negativity behavior, making it more difficult next time to push through it. I know next time, I won’t feel like I did, or I should say, I won’t feel AS bad as I did. I am a stronger person, I am a healthier person, and I am learning to enjoy to workout physically and emotionally.

Finally starting to see some progress again(and time for a haircut again I think)!

It was a wonderful day out, and I had plans to go bike riding! I love days like this, feels like spring has come(though in 2 days we are suppose to get a snow storm), birds are chirping and the pedals are moving. At drop off for LB 1’s preschool, I saw my friend Brian, and he made the mistake of mentioning that he didn’t have any plans this morning. Instantly I pounced on the chance, and invited him for a short bike ride. I promised to take it easy and we would just do a short little ride, and he believed me. Muwhahahaha.

I rushed home, got my youngest ready and went out to the stable(some might call it a garage). I started the process of getting everything ready. Brakes, check! Tire pressure, check! No weird rattling noises, check! All systems go and prepare for launch.

After hooking up the trailer, and making sure I had everything ready to go, Brian arrived. He seemed both excited and apprehensive. I knew though, deep down inside, that once we got going he would love it. I know in the past he had joked he could only bike a mile or so, I figured we would go out and be back real quick. That’s ok, we all have to start somewhere and I didn’t want him to over do it, never wanting to go out again.

We started out and I could quickly see that he wasn’t enjoying it. Did I mention this was a windy day? Like 50 mph gust type windy day? We went about a half mile and he asked to pull over, and I figured we would be turning around. I took that moment though to mention a few “pointers” for riding, sitting on the pelvic bone not the tail bone, don’t ride using your heel as you want to use the ball of your foot, I think I also mentioned posture and keep the shoulders relaxed. As we started back up again I also realized I had forgotten to tell him something important, how to switch gears! He was in a high gear as the bike was last used on my trainer, and with this head wind it must be killing his legs. He switched gears, sat right, moved his foot, and instantly I could tell he was enjoying himself more. We rode past the park and finally made it to the bike trail. What was nice is that with all the trees and the position of the trail, it really cut out the wind! I saw a smile on his face and was pretty sure I had him hooked.

As we went along I told him when we hit mile marks, and how fast he was going. I could tell that he found that encouraging and that he was surprising himself with what he could do. There was even a few times I had to catch up with him as we hit some decent speeds(I think at one point 15mph). We reached a shelter area and decided to take a quick rest, we had ridden over 3 miles and had to get back in time to pick up the kids. The way home was very smooth and when we did get hit by the wind, it was luckily at our backs. As we got back I could tell, I could see the look in his eyes, he was hooked. If we hadn’t been on such a time crunch, I think he could have done the full ride to Chesterton and back. I also look forward to having a new riding buddy, because you can never have to many of those!

“What is that horrible smell?” I said out loud. It was the pork chops I just opened for dinner! Time for a plan B! Normally in the past this would mean pizza or a dinner out, but now i’ve started to learn to keep a few extra meals on hand. I looked through my cabinets and figured out 2 meals I could make.

Stuffed pepper soup and Spinach lasagna rolls.

I was still craving pizza, and my resolve was starting to wain as the kids started to whine/cry about some toy they both wanted. I thought about it and the rolls I figured were pretty close to pizza, they should hopefully “hit the spot”.

Here is the recipe for those that are interested, it is from Skinny Taste!

Place some wax paper and lay out lasagna noodles on it. Take 1/3 cup of ricotta mixture and spread evenly using the back side of a spoon. Roll carefully and place seam side down, Repeat until done.

Pour some of the sauce over the noodles in the baking dish and sprinkle the mozzarella cheese over each one(just a pinch should do it). Put foil over baking dish and bake for 40 minutes, or until cheese melts.

My way of making it is a little different though, I get 8 rolls(use about 1/4 cup per roll), and use prego light smart sauce. I also cook it in my oven at 400 for about 30 mins. Sometimes I add fresh garlic and scallions, finely chopped to the mixture! Another variation I have made, and it was very yummy, was to add fresh diced eggplant(remember to let it sweat out before using).

Dinner was a bit later than we would normally eat it, but I must say it really hit the spot! Better still, I made a better food choice!

So to close off this short post, a little “pro-tip” is to always have a few extra meals available for those times that Murphy hits you.

Today was a day where I woke up feeling defeated. No energy, not even 2 cups of DeathWish coffee could wake me up! Despite this, I really wanted to get in a workout this morning, and the best time was after dropping my oldest off at pre-k. One of the most awesome things about my gym is the free daycare! I love the fact that it allows me to work out during the day time, and not having to wait till the kids go to bed. My youngest loves it so much, he practically runs the entire way once we get inside.

After getting him settled in I went to the locker room to get changed. While in the locker room I felt like I could lay down on the bench and sleep right there. I honestly wasn’t sure how I would make it through a workout, let alone off the damn bench. Yet, I managed to get dressed and found that the gym was happily dead. I picked a treadmill, with a buffer on each side because my heart rate monitor will get picked up by the machines next to me as well. While loading up my Couch to 5k app, I really wondered if I could actually get through the entire 30 mins. I had no get up and go, no energy to speak of, and I was pretty sure I would start walking and quit 5 min. into it. Ever felt this way? What did you do? Here’s how it went for me.

I did the warm up and realized this was crazy and quit. I went next door to the pizza place and ate an entire large pizza, with 4 full calorie sodas. Not really though, after the warm up I decided I would just walk the entire thing, but when the “ding, start running!” sounded, I found myself turning it up and running. When it finished I swore that I was going to walk the next one, because I am beat. “Ding, start running” and again I turned it up to run. This went on for awhile and each time I would finish running I would tell myself “next time we walk”. I was defeated but I refused to give up, I ended up running all of them and finished out the full 30 mins! I ended up earning a badge, and I must say it was highly appropriate.

Determination? Even though I swore I was quitting at every chance, when it came time to make a choice, I picked pushing through it. It wasn’t an easy choice, and I instantly regretted it as I gasped for air like a fish out of water. But the regret I would have felt by giving up would have been even worse. Remember, when the road gets rough up ahead, just take it one step at a time. When you do, you will find yourself getting through the rough patch before you know it! YOU ARE WORTH IT!

How has everyone been doing? I have been ok, I tried starting a new blog only to realize that I missed having this one! So Big Boned Biker is back again, and I have some new things going on in my life to share.

First, for those that don’t know I suffer (hate this term) live with Bipolar with OCD, and am finally getting my meds changed around. Night and day difference! What this means for me is that I am finally feeling good about myself again, and focusing on my weight. I have re-joined a gym, getting a personal trainer, and am back on track with weight watchers! So far I have lost close to 30 pounds on the new weight watchers plan, and already planning some bike rides for this year!

For Christmas I got my oldest son a new bike! Presenting Green Bean Heat-bot Troll! It is a tag-along type bike and I think he will enjoy it more than the cramped trailer. It will also allow him to pull the trailer and we will have a really cool/long “bike train”. I might even have to find a train whistle to use!

PLEASE IGNORE THE MESS

I hope all is going well with those of you who read this, and I look forward to some more in-depth type posts soon.

So now it is time for a new challenge! This one is inspired by some recent self-discovery which I will get into in a bit.

From Today Sunday August 23rd until September 24th the challenge is to exercise for 30 min. every day. The intensity and what you do is dealers choice, and if you already work out daily, add an extra 30 min.

Many of you might be thinking that it is impossible/impractical for you to exercise EVERY day for 30 min, but I guarantee you it is not. Exercising is more than just hitting the gym or jogging for 5 miles! It can be playing with your kids, walking around the mall, building a life size replica of the Star Ship Enterprise (letter of your choosing) out of Popsicle sticks! Ok maybe not that last one, but you get the point. Though, when will you find the time? Do I really need to say it? Do I? As a character on the big bang theory might say “if you have time to lean, you have time to exercise!”, it’s about prioritizing our time. The other thing is, if you can’t do 30 min at once, can you do two 15 min or three 10 min? It’s ok to do it that way too! I know when I first started 30min wouldn’t have been do able, and if that’s the case, break it up to what ever amount you need to in order to get through the 30.

Here is my before picture(Taken after my first 30 min work out):

Take your own and if you want to share it feel free to post on my Facebook!

What brought this about? As I wrote before I was doing really well, empowered and on top of the world. I quickly found myself laying face first in the mud (cake?) and struggling again. Why did I do so well the previous weeks, and do so poorly now? There is ONE thing that stood out to me, and it’s something I have been dealing with along time. I am a computer gaming addict.

I have been getting on my computer the moment my kids are in bed, sometimes even before, and I won’t get up (outside needing to take a Bio break for bathroom/food/drink) till 12-1am. 7:00ish-1am I am on the computer. That is a part time job. If it’s the weekend and we aren’t busy, I’ll be on it all day as well. I can easily put in 40 hours a week of gaming, and when I am not gaming, all I think about is gaming. Building a new design in Space Engineers, or what quest should I run next in Guild War and so on. If left to my own devices I would, and have, game non-stop. It is effecting my health and my relationships, as I don’t want to do things with others when it might take up gaming time. I worry/freak out if I won’t be able to log on to get my “daily” reward on GW2. There is an upcoming trip to Raleigh NC for the National At-Home Dad Network annual convention, and I almost wasn’t going to go. Reason being? I won’t be able to log in for my daily reward. A trip I have been looking forward to since last year, missed, all over a stupid game. About a month or so ago, I felt the game was taking up to much of my time and I deleted it. I said goodbye to my guild mates, and in less than 24 hours I was back on again. It is addicting being someone else, in a world that you “control”.

What does this have to do with my challenge? For about 2 weeks I wasn’t playing my game very much, just logged on and got my daily, putzed around, and done. Not only did I feel focused, I felt happy and alive. I was wanting to do things, and be with people! I started playing again, and the more I played the more those happy thoughts disappeared. Spending time with my wife or working out on my bike seemed less enjoyable than slaying centaur or mining some ore on a distant asteroid. My hope is to try and find a balance between the different areas of my life. I made my personal goal to workout after the kids go down for the night and before I do any gaming. 30 min on my trainer and perhaps add in some running during the week when my oldest is in preschool.

I am focusing on my after picture, how amazing I will feel when I get to take it and say that I accomplished this small goal!

Big Boned Biker

PS
Sorry if this post seems scattered brained, I am starting to come down with a cold, but that won’t stop me 🙂