Of course one could imagine more variations on this theme ("my lighter is your key to success"). BTW: I really like your starting lines. They alone made me laugh. Thanks for the smile at a workdays morning :)

When putting a smiley right before a closing parenthesis, do you:

Use two parentheses: (Like this: :) )
Use one parenthesis: (Like this: :)
Reverse direction of the smiley: (Like this: (: )
Use angle/square brackets instead of parentheses
Use C-style commenting to set the smiley off from the closing parenthesis
Make the smiley a dunce: (:>
I disapprove of emoticons
Other