How can I have a successful casual relationship?

Dan & CarolineDecember 27, 2012

Caroline says

“I have yet to have one so I don’t have a clear answer for you. I think the best place to start is to be totally honest about what you want. Women especially struggle with casual sex due to hormones. Tracy McMillan said it best in her article Why You’re Not Married. “Past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin — it doesn’t stay recreational for long.

That’s due in part to this thing called oxytocin — a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm — that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It’s why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn’t even all that great and the next thing you know, you’re totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that’s how it happened. And since nature can’t discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you’re going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.”

Dan says

“If you start calling it a relationship then no. It’s casual sex and you need to treat it strictly for what it is. I’m yet to see this ever last as one person always ends up wanting more than the other person is willing to give. I definitely think that us guys can compartmentalize and separate sex from emotions better than women can.

I think a lot of woman pretend to not want to have a relationship, and think they will scare guys away from being up front about this. Trust me, if it’s not something you can have a conversation with the guy about, then there’s no way he’s looking for a relationship with you at any point in the future. Move on and find someone that is.”

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