Modern Dilemmas: Terms of endearment

Have you ever used a nickname for someone only to find that they actually hate it? And your term of endearment is a source of irritation! Kate has this dilemma: My brother occasionally sends me text messages and in these he calls me ‘sissy’. I really dislike this word but he’s using it as a term of endearment. Should I mention that I don’t like him using this term or should I ignore my irritation?

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Comments (3)

martin :

10 Dec 2012 9:55:13am

Kate,I have some better advice than the RN guests who wanted to psychonanalyse you. Just say to your brother that one of your friends once called you "kate-astrophe"(or whatever nickname you prefer), and how much you liked it. If he is sincere, he'll take it up. He probably calls you "Sissy" for lack of something else more endearing!

Pam Kew :

10 Dec 2012 1:05:21pm

I fell out with my brother many years ago over some thing that at the time seemed big to me. Years later I understood something about my brother that completely alluded me previously. I wish I had been more compassionate to him at the time & had my eyes open wider.Keep the relationship open we don't know why people are the way they are. Your brother may really need you in his life & to him calling you Sissie is his endearment & keeping you close in his mind.My brother & I NEVER had agood relationship growing up. Now I see things through different eyes.

Anne Kotzman :

10 Dec 2012 2:07:26pm

Kate,I have a better idea for you. Everyone seems to be trying to interpret your feelings or tell you to suppress them. Your feelings are real. Your brother is probably not aware of how you feel about being called Sissy. If I were him I would like to know. I suggest that you accept your feelings, tell him how much you enjoy hearing from him and ask him if he would be willing to call you (.....your choice) in the future instead of Sissy, as you like this other name much better. My guess is that he will not take offence and will welcome you being clear with him. Alternatively, if you wish, you can choose to change your thoughts about it and decide that it will no longer bother you. Good luck!