Kidnapped footballing sheep transferred to eBay

'Give me your money, or the sheep gets it'

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The peace of a January Tuesday was shattered this morning when the following missive dropped onto the Vulture Central doormat, its individual letters cut-and-pasted from a copy of The Sun in the traditional style:

Supporters of Shrewsbury Town Football Club have kidnapped the partner of a Carlisle United supporter after their recent shock victory over their Cumbrian rivals. In an unprecedented move, they have decided to ransom this member of the Gretna-wannabees via eBay.

Any funds raised are intended to go to the survivors of one of the most hellish journeys ever, Shrewsbury to Carlisle for a midweek evening match three years ago, with the match cancelled at the last minute, after being assured the whole day through the game was never in doubt.

Concerns are high for the hostage, Myfanwy, as being near-neighbours to the Welsh Border, we've learnt quite a bit about things to do with sheep (although these allegations have never been proved).

Freedom for the Carlisle One? Let's hope so, eh?

Well, initial investigations indicate that Myfanwy the Carlisle sheep is indeed being held on eBay awaiting a terrible fate in around six days' time if the required wonga is not forthcoming.

As the seller's payment instructions chillingly state: "Give me your money, or the sheep gets it". The clock is ticking, make no mistake. ®