Hands up, all those baseball fans who were saddened that A.J. Burnett failed miserably at closing out the World Series for the New York Yankees on Monday night. Somebody? Anybody?

Classic jalopies

It's not often you get a news release with the headline: "Miserable crapheaps to stink up Scottsdale Auctions."

It's in reference to a 24 Hours of LeMons (as in $500 lemons) race being held the same time as the world's biggest collector car auction, in Arizona Jan. 22-24.

What is the 24 Hours of LeMons? "Racing's top venue for clueless amateurs, pathetic cheapskates, incompetents banned by other series, ne'er-do-wells, and others of questionable judgment and hygiene."

Or owners of old Chevy Celebrities.

Kessel research

An item in Offside yesterday quoted Doug MacLean suggesting that Marc Savard's role was overstated in Phil Kessel's 36-goal output last season.

"Doing some research ... Savard, on 36 goals by Kessel last year, was responsible for (only) six of them," MacLean said on The Fan 590.

It was noted here that MacLean didn't explain his research.

Hmm, could it be because he didn't conduct it?

"I told (MacLean) that theory!" writer Gus Katsaros said in an e-mail, regarding the relationship between former Boston Bruins linemates Kessel and Savard.

"I explained it at a Marlies game two weeks ago."

Katsaros wrote about the Savard myth and came up with the six-goal theory in an Oct. 9 article on mapleleafshotstove.com.

Just a bit of credit where it's due.

Sing, punt and pass

Ontarians are invited to enter a contest (upload your video at billsintoronto.com/anthem) to win the opportunity to sing O Canada before the Buffalo Bills game at the Rogers Off-centre on Dec. 3.

And anybody who can throw or kick a football is asked to audition for the Bills. Please hurry.

60-minute madness

Commenting on the Montreal Canadiens being 6-0 in overtime/shootout games and 1-7 in regulation time, satirical website pucku.ca says: The Canadiens have petitioned the NHL to allow the team to play only the overtime, because they feel they are "at an unfair disadvantage playing the full three periods before entering the session that actually counts."

Meantime, GM Brian Burke has asked that the Maple Leafs play only the last two minutes of the third period, pucku.ca says. "Our team doesn't skate, pass or shoot well for the first 58 minutes, and we're Stanley Cup contenders for the final two."