12 Dating Struggles Only Girls With ADHD Will Understand

1. I actively struggle to pay attention on a first date. You don’t know me yet, so when I inevitably get distracted by my favorite Sia song in the background or how the appetizer menu is written in Comic Sans, you’ll probably think I’m just an asshole who finds your favorite childhood memory to be a total snoozefest. I'm doing my best but I’m nervous, you wore a neon plaid shirt I can’t stop looking at, and the girls next to us are savagely roasting some guy named “Tony,” who I assume is an ex. My mind can only do so much!

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2. I might not remember all the details from the first time you told me something. I could be on a mountaintop with a shirtless Tom Hardy, who is longingly looking into my eyes while he tells me a secret he’s never told anyone, and honestly, if it’s longer than five minutes, I won’t make it the whole way through without thinking about his throwback Myspace pics. But I will always refocus eventually, and if anything, this has taught me to ask you a lot of questions in order to keep myself centered. So technically, I care even more.

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Disney

3. I will be at least 10 minutes late almost every time I meet you. I know it’s horrible to leave you waiting outside in a range of inclement weather situations. But I literally have no idea what happens between me saying, “OK, time to go, WOW, I’ll be so early!” and me arriving “fashionably” late. My guess is checking Facebook or trying to even out my eyeliner. Either way, I’M SORRY, I still haven’t figured this one out. In the meantime, just tell me the movie starts at 7:10 instead of 7:30.

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FOX

4. I’m still figuring out this whole “organization” thing. Honestly, I get better every year: I now make my bed every morning and fold about 70 percent of my clothes. But while I’ve finally started to remove random papers from my nightstand, I just end up tucking them away in a drawer I never open, because that’s what happens with things I don’t regularly use. So yes, you will reach into my purse to grab my phone for me and end up with a fistful of ticket stubs from 2011. Marie Kondo, I am not.

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5. I will never know where my keys are. Add this to your date-night travel time calculations. Consider the possibility that they might be in my coat pocket already.

Miramax Films

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6. If I don’t plan when I’ll see you during the week, I kind of fall apart. I know spontaneity is basically synonymous with romance and “scheduling” comes off as being rigid. But I need to know when we’re hanging out so I can effectively gym, meal prep, and see my other friends, who I also pencil in. Otherwise, your surprise booty call will lead to a Sunday where it’s 4 p.m. and I’m scrambling to do laundry and get work done until I just end up ordering takeout and watching Friends reruns. Trust me: I am at my sexiest when I feel like my life is in order.

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7. I’m extremely indecisive, ESPECIALLY WHERE TO EAT. Here’s your proof that my weekly planning has nothing to do with me being stubborn about doing what I want: I genuinely have no idea what I ~actually~ want. I’ve narrowed it down to hating packed dive bars and all sports, but other than that, I’m generally down to do anything. Which will annoy you. Especially when we’re both starving and I won’t pick a restaurant because “idk, they’re all good!”

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Paramount Pictures

8. I get annoyingly restless during Netflix and chill marathons (or any situation where I have to be in one place the whole time). I will get up to get water, get up to get snacks, check my phone, get up to get a different snack because I didn’t like the first one, check my phone, switch into four different cuddling positions, and, of course, check my phone. The real Stranger Things are all the times you somehow manage to finish a whole season with me.

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9. I will occasionally tell a long story and you won’t get the point. In my mind, it feels like all these side-tangents are being woven together to further enhance the story. What actually happens: the hilarious thing that happened to my coworker is no longer hilarious because I just told you about three other coworker’s life stories and you have no idea who’s who anymore or how this story even started. This is why I’m funnier on Twitter.

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10. I will, however, get super grumpy if I’m trying to focus and you’re not letting me. Multitasking is 1000 percent a myth, and I can guarantee that if you try to talk to me while I cook, I will either not process a word or get breakup-level irritated because I just poured double the salt in the cookie mix.

Hulu

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11. I get over things quickly, which may look like I don’t care. When you have a brain that can’t make it through an episode of Breaking Bad without drifting off at least twice, it’s hard to keep feeling wounded from an already-resolved argument. It’s not that the two-hour disagreement we just had didn’t impact me; it’s that we’re currently good, you just ordered takeout, and I am laser-focused on that lo mein.

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12. Just because I’m in my own world a lot doesn’t mean I don’t want you in it. Sometimes I won't text back for a few hours or will come off as surprisingly nonchalant if you cancel plans. It doesn't mean I don't want to see you: It just means I’m currently trying to teach myself the La La Land theme on piano or got lost in reading internet murder conspiracy theories. You get to be your own person and I get to be my own person, who I hope you’ll see as so much more than that girl who, ugh, is looking for her keys again, one minute!

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