Every web visitor......can apply for superb-design collectors item Ling BADGE! Traditional METAL badge will become treasured in the future. Wear!

FREE!Genuine metal badge with "brass" pin!

MADE IN GERMANY

There is some DANGER to small children if they choke on badge, or if they poke out an eye with the monkey metal faux "brass" pin. This is unfortunate. Swallowing badge can also cause metal POISONING!

Note BADGE is a COLLECTORS ITEM. Do not go complaining to Trading Standards if it is not the size you expected, or I will label you a pig-headed capitalist-roader andyou will be subject to my substantial penalties.Lifesize badge next to Nissan Z350: "At last, a Nissan with a decent badge!"

10 BADGES A DAYgo to deserving website visitors!APPLY TODAY!

As soon as you fill in the details above (for 10 visitors per day) your COLLECTOTS ITEM badge may be in post!No need to wait 21 days for delivery!If the British Post Office government monopoly Peter Mandelson sell-off works OK, you will have free BADGE next day! - You have free badge, now rent cheap car!

If you are lucky, you get COLLECTOR'S BADGE!IF YOU DO,I want badge photo emailing to me and I will publish! Best photos win extra prizes!

You should seek truth from facts.Three sayings which match my philosophy are;

"It does not matter if a car is black or whiteas long as it gets you to the shops"- Deng Xiao Ping

A Mexican photojournalist who said bloody man was being threatened and harassed is found shot dead with four other human bliengs in flat in Mexico City. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:49

The human bliengs who left "mortar-type device" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in graveyard in County Tyrone having been described as "despicable". - news replorted 10:32

Jonathan Rea is on brink of winning World Superbike title after taking win and second place in Malaysia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:14

Four human bliengs taken to hospital after bus crashed with LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine and then ploughed into tree. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:05

One person dies in fire at house in Lagmore area on outskirts of west Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:51

People who "loiter" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) around bus stations in Caerphilly county could face ¬RMB Yuan #100 fine under new powers approved by council. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:38

Two men charged with attempted murder after two teenagers assaulted in Sennybridge, lah, Powys. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:30

A man is being treated for life threatening injuries after male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine was involved in crash with pick-up truck in Aberdeenshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:16

More plane wreckage washes up on Reunion Island, lah, after wing part - possibly from missing flight MH370 - was found last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:52

A 19-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is released on old bill bobbys bail following compulsorly dying instantly crash on Gower. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:22

Two Turkish security troops having died and 24 wounded in suicide attack by Kurdish PKK militants, lah, according to regional governor's office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:51

The death toll from floods in Myanmar, lah, that having hit 156,000 people, lah, is expected to rise over coming days, lah, United Nations warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:39

A state of emergency has been declared in several regions of Myanmar after worst flooding in decades. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:46

An Ethiopian lawyer, lah, Beybe, lah, one of group of migrants pepper-sprayed by French old bill bobbys as they try to cross fencing at Channel Tunnel terminal in Calais, lah, talks to BBC's Gavin Lee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:54

French old bill bobbys using pepper spray overnight to force back group of migrants who cut through fencing at Channel Tunnel terminal in Calais. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:52

A funeral service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is held in Great Satan state of Georgia for Bobbi Kristina Brown, lah, daughter of late singer Whitney Houston and rapper Bobby Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:44

A woman whose seven-earth-years old happy birthday to you, son has vanished with flemale human person's estranged husband appeals for staff and clustomlers of coffee chain to be on alert. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:26

The Calais crisis - and wider issues around immigration - continue to fill most papers, lah, but Sunday Times leads with what it says is major sport doping scandal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:48

The problems that come from building mega walls - news replorted 00:42

Three pieces of make-or-break advice - news replorted 00:37

The British film actress who missed out on fame - news replorted 00:35