Stop thinking about the food; you’ve already addressed this issue. Think about how you would solve a behavioral problem— refusing to put on shoes, to leave the park when you ask, or punching, kicking or grabbing—and do that.

2) Don’t feed the fire.

Let your child sulk or otherwise express her frustration. It is after all, natural, to feel frustrated, angry, and out-of-sorts when you can’t get your way. Especially if you’re two!

More importantly, trying to talk your child out of his feelings will only intensify the situation because it keeps your child’s attention focused on what she can’t have! And, it increases the chances that you’ll cave.

3) Stick to your guns.

Ever go nine rounds with your child, only to give in?

“Can I have candy?” “No.”

“Can I have candy?” “No.”

“Can I have candy?” “No.”

“Can I have candy?” “OK, but just a little.”

What’s the lesson learned when you eventually cave? Persistance pays off! (Or more accurately: being a pain pays off.) If you know you are going to eventually give in, say “yes” from the start.

The response, “Asked and answered” is how I always responded after the third or fourth request for the same item. It’s responsive in the sense that I wasn’t ignoring my child, but it stops the discussion in its tracks.

If you want to ignore your child’s request when he is on auto-replay, tell him:

“You’ve asked me three times, and I’m not going to discuss this anymore. In fact, if you continue to ask I will not respond.”

Then, so you’re child knows you’re not withdrawing from her, add:

“I’m happy to talk about other things.”

4) Finally, ask your child: “What would help you feel better about the playground food rules?”

Hopefully, you’ve been talking to your child all along. But if the two of you are still struggling with playground panhandling it will help to bring your child onboard ify ou solicit his input.

Do this after things have cooled down, and you’re no longer in the playground, solicit your child’s imput for solving the playground problem. You might be surprised by her answers.

Your child’s solutions might be relevant to the situation:

“I want to have my snack first thing when I get to the playground.”

“I want to be able to have two snack periods at the playground instead of one.”

“I want to sit under the slide when I eat my snack.”

But, your child’s solution might seem irrelevant to the situation:

“I want to wear my blue coat; It helps me feel better.”

“Let me bring snuggly to the park.”

5) If you can accommodate your child’s wishes, DO IT.

It will make your child feel respected, in control, and invested in a positive outcome. Remember, it’s not what you feed, but what you teach, that matters.