Monday, June 20, 2005

Life in Saudi, by a new expat and a bibliography of recently published books (and due to be published) on Saudi Arabia

A Compound Life: Settling into Saudi

We've tracked Laura down in Saudi Arabia, and she's willing to share a few secret details of life there. Take a look...

At 4.30 on the morning of December 21, 2004 my daughter and I touched down in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. The air was thick and hot, and inside the dusty arrivals hall of Jeddah International a sprinkling of custom officials where chit-chatting while waiting for something to do.But they did seem to perk up when they spotted the dishevelled South African stuffed in a cheap black abaya scuffling wide-eyed in their direction. This was my entry into the country that is to be my home for the next year.Maybe it was my shabby abaya or maybe it was just my lucky day, but they simply regarded me with a twinkle of curiosity, pouring for what seemed like hours over my passport and passing it back and forth among each other, before pinching my daughter's chin with a smile and stamping a whole lot of stuff in our documents.I was in. And I wasn't searched (except for a comprehensive hand luggage check prior to boarding Saudi Air in JHB) which meant I could have packed half of Picardi Rebel in my suitcase! (Remember, no alcohol in Saudi Arabia; at least, none allowed). Darn. Anyway, husband whisked us away in his formidable 4x4, straight to our compound and a whole new life got underway.The good, and the badAnd what a strange life it is. Saudi Arabia has to be the most extraordinary place in the entire world. And I'm absolutely fascinated. When I left women24, I wrote in my final column, that Saudi Arabia had to rank right behind Iraq as the worst place on earth to live. I was right, and I was wrong.Right in that, for a Western woman (despite coming from Africa I’m regarded as a Westerner), it's one of the most restricted societies on earth, if not the most. Wrong in that it has afforded me the simplest, most wonderful lifestyle I could ever imagine.Let me explain, and I'll start with the bad things; the things we hear about life in Saudi Arabia – especially regarding women. For instance, everyone knows women aren't allowed to drive, vote, or appear in public without being covered from head to toe in a black abaya (black cloak-like over-dress) and hijab (headscarf); that restaurants are strictly divided into family sections and sections for bachelors, and that segregation (gender "apartheid") is enforced in most of the workplaces where women are allowed to work. Unmarried men and women aren't allowed to go out together in public or visit unchaperoned (though I promise you they do – at their peril), and even married couples are cautioned against showing affection toward each other when venturing out.If, for example, an expat husband is invited to dinner at a Saudi household, his wife can plan her evening in front of satellite TV back at the compound, as women aren't allowed to attend. And at the Saudi home her husband won't as much as spot someone of the female gender. This has been my unfortunate lot on many an occasion. I’m yet to see the inside of a Saudi household (where women’s and men’s quarters are often separated), or meet a Saudi woman.Cover upIn Saudi Arabia – it's the only country where this is “law” – all women (that includes expats) are required to wear the abaya over their clothes to hide all signs of flesh. While Western women aren't strictly speaking required to wear a hijab , woe betide the woman who doesn't and is caught out by the Muttawa, or religious police, officially called The Committee for the Prevention of Vice and Promotion of Virtue, upholding the rules of Wahhabism (the Kingdom's strict interpretation of Sunni Islam).I've personally been castigated by them for not wearing my hijab while shopping in one of Saudi's hundreds of malls (strictly speaking they should have castigated my husband as they're not supposed to address a woman). And a friend of mine has had her ankles whipped for the same reason. It's not fun to be at the receiving end of their fervour, I promise you.But some things have changed, like women don't have to sit in the back of the car behind tinted windows veiled to the eyebrows; i.e., they can sit in the front. But you rarely see this as the front passenger seat is normally reserved for the sons. And driving through the busy streets at night I've seen boys as young as 14 at the wheel, with the terrified mothers and daughters huddling in the back. More about that in a later column.Recently there was a big brouhaha here over cars with tinted windows. Some Saudi men went so far as to tint all the car windows, except the front windscreen, to protect their women from preying eyes. But this has now been outlawed because the police and security forces can't see who's inside – the hunt for terrorists is big business in Saudi.Go figure!Also, the production and sale of alcohol is prohibited everywhere (imagine going to a restaurant and not having a glass of wine with your meal!), yet on the outskirts of Jeddah there's an alcohol and drug rehab centre - for Saudis!Night time, after the final evening prayer, is when Saudi Arabia comes alive. People flock to the malls for hours of shopping and youths take to the streets in their fathers' cars. Driving home at around 11 pm you're sure to get stuck in a traffic jam. When we once left for the airport at 2:30 in the morning, we spotted a family getting out of their car to do the "day's" shopping. It's unbelievable. No wonder most Saudis only pitch for work around 10 in the morning. Pity on the children, though, who have to be at school at 8. During the day things are pretty quiet, and you'll be hard pressed to see a woman anywhere.If you do see a woman, she's either quickly slipping from car to mall, or she's an unfortunate beggar. These women are mostly African – probably Sudanese – swathed in black with only their yellow eyes showing, and often pushing a pram (like our bergies push trolleys) heaped high with cardboard and other recyclable rubbish. Many of them have babies – some fair, some not – strapped to their backs. I shudder to think who the fathers of the children are, where the women sleep at night, and how they get by in a country were women, especially unmarried mothers, are regarded by most as the scourge of society. My guess is these women are either refugees or Hajj pilgrims who never left – either because they don't have the money or necessary paperwork; or they think this horrid existence in Saudi is better than the horrid existence in war-torn Africa.What's aheadI'm going to stop here now. In roughly two weeks, I'll be sending through my next column that will bring you some more inside info on life in a compound and explain why my life (and that of many, many expat women) in Saudi Arabia is simply the best I've had since I care to remember. Like everything else here in Saudi Arabia, it's fascinating stuff.Over the next couple of months I'll be covering topics such as human rights in Saudi; women's plight; the Muttawa; the Monarchy; my beautiful abaya; when expats have to pay "blood money"; the Bedouin; shopping in Saudi; why Saudis are the worst drivers in the world and their hideously high road accident death rate; the new South Africa - Saudi Arabia love affair; the difficulties our men go through working with Saudis; South African businesses here; the life of a foreign woman; a typical Saudi meal; "fun" things to do in the Kingdom; growing religious fundamentalism; Saudiization (read: employment equity); racism; terrorism; why the Monarchy is between a rock and the Wahhabis, and much more.

* For security reasons, I have omitted my daughter's name, the name of her school and that of our compound. Sure you understand.

My Saudi Secret

Za'atar My first find is a herby, spicy mix called za'tar (Arabic word for wild thyme) that's enjoyed across the Middle East, Turkey and North Africa. There are many ways to spell zatar or zaathar, or za'tar, and similarly recipes differ too.Rarely sold as a single herb, it is usually packaged as a combination of several herbs and flavours with thyme and sumac the main ingredients. If you can't find it in the Middle Eastern section of a deli try this recipe: Mix 4 tablespoons dried thyme with 2 tablespoons ground sumac (or use grated lemon zest), 2 tablespoons toasted white sesame seeds and a pinch or two of salt.Sometimes zatar is mixed with paprika, hyssop (an aromatic minty plant), olive wood, marjoram, or oregano. Traditionally, zatar is served with pita bread and olive oil - dip the bread in the oil and then the herb mix and tuck in. Pita bread baked with a zatar topping and a splash of olive oil is absolutely delicious. Or make a paste of the oil and herbs, sprinkle generously on a serving of salty cheese, like feta or Bulgarian; sprinkle over ripe tomatoes; dust over thick Greek yoghurt or add to a yoghurty mayonnaise for a vegetable dip. Zatar also makes for a wonderful alternative to the ubiquitous European mixture known as herbes de province in recipes for roast chicken or beef, or lamb stew.

Laura of Arabia gives us the details of her life in a Saudi compound. Alcatraz or Utopia?

Living in a compound in Saudi Arabia is a bit like living on Alcatraz. It's a little patch of land surrounded by high walls and barbed wire where the "inmates" are kept in and the rest of the world kept out by an army of guards, security forces and policemen. For expats, a Saudi compound is a tiny island of free life in a teeming sea of unrelenting Islam.Now and again you'll read an opinion piece in the Saudi press where the writer blames the lack of cultural integration in the Kingdom on the expats' choice to live locked away in compounds. Wrong!!! I can assure them, there are many foreigners who would prefer to live among the locals (I really would), but practically this just isn't possible. One, it's not safe as non-Muslims are the direct target of terrorists, and two, Saudi society as a whole is wary of influences that challenge its traditional values, making integration near impossible. Saudi society is to me like a slab of black slate – you can chip at it, but you can never get in.Who lives whereSaudi Arabia is home to some 17 million Saudis who live in palaces, mansions, villas, flats and tents, and a whopping 8,8 million foreign workers, most of whom are confined to compounds of varying standards. The bulk of Saudi's foreign workers are from India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Indonesia and the Philippines, and these people live mostly either in houses converted into living quarters where they live 100 to a 10-room house (shocking, we'll go into this later), or in the most basic compounds with cramped villas (houses are called villas here) and little more than a security gate.Those here on more generous packages reside in expansive, upmarket compounds, some of which are more like holiday resorts and are heavily protected by the Saudi National Guard. The cost of living in one of these – including electricity, water, satellite TV and all services - is normally included in hubby's pay package and can be anything from around SAR (Saudi Arabian Riyals) 100 000 per year (R165 255) to double that.At last count, there were about 6 000 South Africans in Saudi. Indeed, South Africa is producing "the next big wave" of foreign business workers as the strength of the US, UK and European currencies combined with the shaky security situation in Saudi, has seen workers from these countries finish up and get out. In South Africa, where good living standards come at a hefty price and the job market is in a wobble, the tax-free Saudi Riyal still has some lure.Our compound, for example, consists of some 60 townhouse-type villas, with two swimming pools, a gym, tennis and squash quarts, a shop, satellite TV and a limousine and bus service, all run and kept in good nick by an outsourced team of ultra-friendly Philippinos. See pictures of Laura's compound by clicking here. By comparison, our compound offers less than some of the mega compounds that have medical clinics, restaurants, bowling alleys and beauty parlours, but the reason we chose this one is because it's right next to one of the best international schools in the Kingdom, which also means I don't have to put my child on a bus in the mornings to get to school. With animosity towards foreigners lurking in every corner, this is not something I wanted to do.There are expats from all over the world in our compound, from the US, Australia, Britain, South America, France, loads more South Africans (representing almost the entire rainbow), a sprinkling of other Africans and, to my surprise, Muslim Sudanese, Lebanese, Egyptians and Jordanians. Ignorantly I thought Muslims wouldn't want to stay in compounds along with the "infidels". But then, not everyone subscribes to the prevailing Saudi view of non-Muslims.What goes on behind these wallsMost compounds have buses that transport the ladies around (women aren't allowed to drive in the Kingdom). There's a monthly bus schedule and with abayas on and handbags stuffed with hubbies hard-earned Riyals, women get the chance to shop their way through the city while the driver takes a nap over the steering wheel, motor running to keep the aircon going.For non-working women left alone at home in a less luxury compound (no transport, no shop, e.g.), life can be taxing. They can't really get out and about (taking a taxi is risky) and there's no other public transport for women, so if they're out of ciggies or milk, they have to wait until hubby comes back to take them shopping. Just like anywhere in the world, hubbies are tired at the end of a working day, and want to put their feet up and be fed. The wife, starved of life outside her "prison", has to cunningly persuade him to get back in his car and take her out for her shopping therapy, ciggies and milk.Not all moms stay at home or shop all day; some compound moms work half day at the schools and there are of course single women here on their own packages, working in the hospitals or women's' colleges.Many households employ women as chars. I have a lovely, lively lady from Eritrea who helps me once a week and fills me in on the word on the ground. While we're on the topic of help in the house, allow me to gossip just a teeny bit. A friend of mine who lives in one of the bigger Jeddah compounds and has two toddlers tells me there's a community of other Middle Eastern families (from Yemen, Syria, Jordan, Kuwait, Bahrain, etc.) in her compound, and they all have live-in maids. Apparently these maids take the children to Moms and Tots playgroups and to the playgrounds (on the compounds) and to and from school, while the mothers stay at home doing heaven knows what.Although being "stuck" in a compound without practical means to go anywhere, to pursue your career and/or to earn your own income has driven many a good woman to polish off the homebrew as quickly as her husband can make it, most women I've spoken to agree this is an absolutely wonderful, simple life. Gone is the stress and constant fatigue that comes with living in the rat race; the concern about the children's education and whereabouts; the worry about money; the claustrophobic, crime-ridden existence in South Africa.Here you know what you can do and what you can't do, and for the rest you have a driver who takes you where you want to go; time and money to shop, time to get to know your children; time to cook a four-course Arabian meal, and finally get time to paint, write or learn cross stitching. Yes, imagine having time to learn to do something as bizarre as cross stitching. Why not?Ironically, the easy life so many of us embrace here is exactly the "easy" life many Saudi women wish they can break free from. For us it's a sabbatical from the rat race; for them it's an enforced way of life. What indeed makes this such a positive experience for many women is the fact that it's not forever. We all agree that, if this was going to be our life for the rest of it, we'd go mad.Friendship, tea and sympathyFriendship is the glue that keeps compound life together and you make friends with people you'd ordinarily never dream of sharing a pot of tea with. The South Africans have braais at the pool on Thursday evenings (the start of the short Saudi weekend), we drive out to the wadis for weekend camping; go on shopping trips in the city, and gossip about the other people in the compound.But that's a drawback of compound living – you're so on top of each other that you get involved with each other's parenting styles, chitchat about how much who's husband is earning or where your neighbours went on holiday and compare how good your purchases at the latest Debenham's sale was or for how cheap you got a bottle of Dior J'Adore. You basically live in each other's backyards, so keeping the peace while the husbands do battle with Saudi men on the business front, can offer enough excitement to keep the ghosts from your idle mind.I've made some great friends in our compound. Among the South Africans there's kind-hearted Carene, and former Mrs SA Globe and Mrs Body Perfect who keeps us all sane with her great sense of humour and the compound staff in a toestand as she struts to the shop in her sundress and stilettos; there's down-to-earth Lorraine who always has time for a chat and worldly advice; mother-of-all Maria whose straightforward charm quickly makes you forget any inclination of self-pity, alles-klaar Babette, who's super parenting skills put us all to shame, and the soulful Bev, who moves silently from villa to school (where she teaches) and back before anyone can get the chance to talk to her.Interestingly enough, the South Africans are the most social in our compound. The other people seem to confine themselves to their villas and heaven alone knows what they do in there.The one thing you have to get your head around when settling into a compound and start making friends (and this goes for the children, too) is that at any time a family can disappear just as suddenly as they came. Contracts come to an end, and it could be years before you see each other again, if you ever do.Finally, one thing all compounds have in common is the presence of (mostly feral) cats. Some of them are downright nasty, some have learnt the art of charm to get food, and a whole bunch of them are pregnant. My husband gave us strict instructions to leave the cats alone, yet we've managed to convince him that one young female was directly descended from the Arabian wild cat, and needed love and Whiskas and a collar – the collar is essential lest she be dispatched to the "fish market" during the annual feral cat cleanout. She (Kriewel) has now had three kittens and although one unfortunately died, the other two (Dozi and Bin Laden) are downstairs climbing the curtains as we speak.

To give you a better idea of the pros and cons of compound life, here's what my South African friends have to say:

Carene:Compound life is more like survival camp. I love the social life, so for me, being boxed in behind brick walls the colour of grey tombstones makes me feel like I'm a half-dead bird living in a comfortable cage. My religion keeps me going, though, and I live by my motto: changing the world one soul at a time.

Maria:Inside these high security walls you're much safer than in any South African suburb I know. Sometimes you get Big Brother-like cabin fever, but that's quickly remedied by hopping onto the bus for some retail therapy, which is the only thing a woman can really do here. Living in a compound can be compared to living in a townhouse complex or security village in South Africa. We just have more fun!

Lorraine:Living in a compound is like being on extended holiday. You are totally spoilt; you've got a personal driver; the compound staff take care of all maintenance; you meet people from all over the world and although it gets boring at times and there's not much for teenagers to do, this wonderful lifestyle is hard to beat.

Both Carene and Maria's husbands work in other cities, so they only see their families once a week. It can be both taxing and relaxing to raise children on your own in a compound, but these girls are strong and believe me, there's never a dull moment. Our best times are piling into the compound bus, layered in abayas and makeup, heading off to Pizza Hut on a Tuesday for an all-you-can-eat fest in the family section, or simply heading off the mall at 10:30 in the morning for coffee, a spot of shopping and some fresh desert air.Ok, that's compound life in Saudi Arabia for you. Plain and simple. Next time, How Safe is Saudi?

If there's anything in particular you'd like to know about life in Saudi Arabia, or if you'd like to comment on this article, send me an email at jeddahpost@hotmail.com

My Saudi Secret

Nigella: My secret find for this week is a black seed called kalonji or Nigella Sativa. It's also sometimes called "black cumin", but it isn't cumin at all, just looks like it. Apparently the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) himself said "Shooneez [what it was called then] is a cure for all ailments except death." And the Arabs swear by it.It's reported to be beneficial for the respiratory system, has been shown to have anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory properties and is used for colds, diabetes and skin disorders.The seeds are pitch black, angular in shape and have a wonderfully aromatic smell. They're used whole, mainly sprinkled on Arab flatbreads. The seeds are also sautéed in ghee or dry-roasted to release the aroma and flavour and then added to vegetable dishes. Nigella is sometimes confused with onion seeds or caraway - the taste is certainly somewhere in-between - and is also called love-in-a-mist, fennel flower or simply black seed. I hope you can find it!Suggested reading:Price of honourMuslim women, symbols of honour for their men, speak out in this provocative book that takes us into the volatile heartland of Islam, the world's fastest growing religion. With a wide range of telling, often horrific stories about the ways in which Muslim women are abused and oppressed by their men folk, Price of Honour by Jan Goodwin shows how restrictions on women act as a barometer for measuring both the growth of fundamentalism and the Muslim regimes' willingness to appease extremists.

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