The semi-mindful spewings of some single, middle-aged white guy living in downtown Seattle.

A Good Walk Spoiled

I want to make this clear to everyone in the world: I care nothing about the Ryder Cup.

Nothing. Not one thing about it.

Not that the US may or may not win. Not that Europe may or may not win. I care absolutely nothing about this event.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zilch.

Nil.

Nunca.

I can’t tell you how many times I get pulled over to the side by someone and they ask me ‘wow, that Ryder Cup is pretty cool. Who do you think will hit the little golf ball well this weekend; the guy from the country club in America or the guy from the country club in Europe?’ And my answer to that person I just made up?

I care nothing about the Ryder Cup.

Why does anyone talk about this piece of garbage event that is totally manufactured under some ersatz rivalry America has with the entire continent of Europe? It is so artificial yet the media and networks constantly try to legitimize it with countless tales of the players ‘feel more pressure about this moment than the 18th hole at the Masters’.

First off, not true. Second off, I don’t care.

Fuck, I cannot express how much I don’t care about this thing. It is less than zero. It isn’t even in the negative range because that still requires some quantity, albeit negative.

Philosophers have to gather en masse to derive a theory about the sear emptiness of my care about the Ryder Cup.

‘His care is the same as the null set’.

‘But wait? To have a null set there is an acknowledgment of a set. That is still too much representation for the amount of care he has in this bullshit event.’

‘Hmmm. Can there truly be nothing if there is no scale of reference? I mean, what is nothing if there is no ‘something’?’

‘I think true nothingness cannot exist in a vacuum, because that means there indeed exists a vacuum. The shear existence of this vacuum constitutes more care than he does of the Cupeth of Ryder.’

And so on.

Again, it is impossible to relay this message clear enough to you………it is not within the limits of our human mind……..it cannot be expressed by anyone on earth…………how much I don’t care about the Ryder Cup.