The Christmas Quilt Picture Story of 2007

Welcome to the Seventh Annual Posting of the Christmas Quilt Picture Story.

This quilt was given to me at my first baby shower. Each year my children are subjected to posing with it for holiday photographs.

In 2007, I again dragged the kids down to a large department store portrait studio. It was the same studio chain that had taken each previous Christmas quilt picture. Thankfully, this year I had my mom with me to help contain the boy chaos that was about to ensue.

We walked into the studio and it was deserted. I sighed in relief.

The one photographer on duty did not seem pleased that we had made it to our appointment. Uh-oh.

I explained to her that I brought a quilt to use for background. I went on to explain how previous photographers had attached it to the portrait studio equipment for the last 6 years. I told her that I would be purchasing ONE portrait 5 x 7 to match the 6 I have at home from previous years.

The photographer took the quilt into the studio and started what turned out to be a 15 minute process of quilt arrangement. She made it clear through eye contact avoidance and heavy sighing that she was not going to be hanging it the way I suggested.

Finally, she called that she was ready.

She arranged the older boys (ages 4 & 6) kneeling behind a chair where the baby (almost 2) was to sit.

The baby freaked and we spent 5 minutes bribing, cajoling and tricking the him into the chair. It finally worked.

We are picture ready!

1, 2, 3…POP!I pop the binky out of the baby’s mouth for the picture…AND*silence*Nothing.
No picture.
No series of flashes.Nothing captured on film.

I turned to the photographer and said, “I am going to pull the binky out so you can get a picture.”Instead of listening to me, she starts fussing at the older boys for moving (they have been little statues for the last 8 minutes in a kneeling position).

Recap: 24 minutes/0 pictures

1, 2, 3…POP! I pop the binky out of the baby’s mouth for the picture…AND*silence*I yell, “OK, we are ready!”
ONE FLASH:

A flurry of post-picture movement ensues.
The photographer yells to get everyone settled down.

1, 2, 3…POP!*pause*
*crickets**silence*and finally as if in slow motion…
ONE FLASH:

By this point the older boys are legitimately complaining and needing to move.

I ask if we can switch poses.

No.

NO?

No. This is the ONLY way she can get the portrait 5 x 7 I requested.

That is weird. I guess all portrait 5×7 pictures in the entire universe of 3 boys have two on their knees and a baby in a small, white wicker chair in front of them.

I calmly suggest that they all sit.

That won’t work!

At this point she is saved by a phone call.

While she is out of the room answering the phone I arrange the boys on several red blocks I find in the room.