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Matt and Trey are my heroes and after watching tonight’s mid-season premiere of “South Park” I’m ready to get a shirt made that says just that.The premiere episode entitled, “Dead Celebrities” focuses on Kyle’s little Canadian brother Ike, who is being haunted by the ghost of television infomercial demigod, Billy Mays.

But wait! There’s more!! This episode was entirely devoted to showcasing EVERY celebrity that died this summer, and because they create the episodes so quickly no one is exempt, David Carradine with a noose around his neck wearing fishnets, Natasha Richardson in ski gear, not even “Point Break’s” own freshly laid to rest Patrick Swayze or MTV’s DJ. AM. Alas, it was the ghost of Michael Jackson and his shrill cries of “you’re ignorant” and “tee hees” that made my eyes rain.

With a brilliant subplot tying together ‘mexican food to-go superking’s’ Chipotle and Billy Mays’ newest product “Chipotl-Away“, and a child’s beauty pageant ,they took no prisoners. I cried with laughter at the absurdity of the lady from Poltergeist being thrown out of a hospital window and exploding on the ground after the ghost of Michael Jackson calls her ignorant, possesses the EKG machine, and with a sonic boom, puts an end to her story line.

It is always an amazing treat tuning in week after week to see how far Matt and Trey are willing to take things. The pop culture commentary is hit on the nose in ways that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will never be able to replicate. It’s so perfectly gauche, witty, tasteless and perfectly executed. Enough of me polishing their knobs. Do yourself a favor and head over to southparkstudios.com and see what you’re missing.

I am irritating any person I come in contact with about how insanely, ridiculously, gut wrenchingly hilarious “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” truly is. Unfortunately for me, I only discovered it 2 weeks ago. After my regular season shows finished for the summer, I was left with nothing but time to start up a new batch of tv shows to get addicted to. I bought “Eastbound and Down” and proceeded to watch all 6 episodes 5 times. Then there’s my weekly batch of “Weeds” and “Nurse Jackie” . While these shows are amazing, there’s still something missing. So I turned my viewing hands over to the Netflix gods and their star rating system and lo and behold, Mr. Netflix tells me I will probably enjoy “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”.

They couldn’t have been more right. This show about 3 guys and a girl who run an unsuccessful bar in Philadelphia is the funniest scripted show on television that no one watches. I know they said that about “Arrested Development “and I will be burned at the stake for saying this but fuck that, it’s my blog, this show is funnier, in MY opinion. The characters Charlie, Dee, Mac, Dennis and Frank are all self obsessed, moraslly reprehensible and nihilistic and deeply disturbed in a humorous way, if that’s possible. It puts me in the mind of “Eastbound and Down” in the sense that they do and say whatever comes to mind without apology. A show about 5 anti-heroes who somehow get you to care about them.

The show is most often called Seinfeld on PCP, because it is a show about nothing, but I’d liken it more to a live action cartoon, like “Family Guy” or South Park”. The characters come to the verge of death quite often but in the end life is preserved for one more day. Like cartoons, the shows are all stand alone and there are only a handful of side characters that show up randomly throughout the seasons. Imagine,5 people being egotistical jackasses and yet it never gets old. Among the topics already covered in previous seasons: abortion, gun control, welfare, terrorism, slavery, incest, pedophilia, racism, mental illness and Nazism.

Filled to the brim with pop culture references and an amateur professional feel, I can’t help but wish I had written the whole thing. It is a scripted comedy but the actors are so amazing that it seems improvised. 5 main characters and I can’t say which is my favorite because they are all that good. If you haven’t watched this show, I understand, it’s on FX and as a cableless poor person, I had to go the netflix/torrent way to get caught up before Season 5 begins in September. If you have an alternative sense of humor then please watch this show, you will not be disappointed. We are living in the age of the anti hero and I can’t wait to see what they’ll come up with next. I hope my nonsensical rantings have peaked your interest, or at the very least persuaded you to get on board. Rest assured I will strap myself to the front door of FX dressed as “Nightman” if they ever decide to cancel this show.

Going into Season 13 of the beloved controversial “South Park” you may wonder where can the guys go from here? Well fear not originality because if episode 2 of Season 13 is any indication then South Park is getting better with age.

Entitled “The Coon”, the episode stars with Cartman running around in downtown South Park at nighttime dressed like a giant raccoon. His voice over chimes in on crime, black presidents, Cartman’s city is a whore and he must save her. The Coon is the symbol his city needs. An obvious rip on “The Watchmen”, “Dark Knight” and “The Spirit”, Trey Parker and Matt Stone kick it into high gear, adding a rival hero “Mysterion” just to steal Cartman’s thunder and piss him off in the process.

Highlight of the episode would have to be “Coonicon 2009” a convention Cartmen throws in honor of his vigilante self, where he sits in a hotel banquet room filled with “Coon” merchandise and propaganda but not one single guest shows up. The hotel concierge steps in to thank him for his continued business, this being the hotel where he threw the Ginger Pride Convention and the AIDS benefit, and Cartman flips out.

Who is "The Coon"?

South Park has remained topical, funny, but most importantly timely. While The Simpsons struggle for relevance, Family Guy fights to be rude and crass, South Park holds the honor of keeping with the times and staying true to its cause. Watch South Park above all else, not because Cartman wants you to, but because it’s what your city needs.