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you know damn well who i am

Mercedes - an awesome girl with a twisted sense of humour. Mercedes is a great friend, incredibly smart, extremely original and sweet as candy. She'll patiently listen to you bitch forever, try to reassure you and make you laugh.
She's a great Sudoku player and an even better word-makeuper. Mercedes has the most refreshing and honest laughter you've ever heard, even if she snorts a bit here and there.

Things to do with Mercedes:
1. go on man-killing sprees
2. dance with
3. eat candy with
4. and much much more

Synonyms for Mercedes:
1. sweevil
2. adorkable
3. cunning linguist

You know Sheila's kitten got run over by a truck? She was just so devastated till Jenny came over and pulled a Mercedes on her.