7.27.2011

"On the Floor" by Jennifer Lopez is so dumb.

Okay. Wow. I heard this song for the first time on Tuesday and wow! Just wow. It's so bad and stupid and I don't even understand.

First things first. Usually when I'm hearing a song on the radio, I try to remember a few lines so I can figure out what song it is later. In this case, though, I was so confident that the song's title was "On the Floor" that I didn't even try to remember anything else.

Why was I so confident? Because oh my goodness, I can't even count how many times she says "on the floor." She rhymes "on the floor" with "on the floor" many times! This is an actual lyrical excerpt:

Its getting ill it’s getting sick on the floor
We never quit, we never rest on the floor
If I ain’t wrong we’ll probably die on the floor

Nothing in that rhymes internally! I mean, sick and quit sort of rhyme, but it's a stretch. She's seriously relying on the phrase "on the floor" to get her through the whole song.

Though I shouldn't even say "she," because J-Lo didn't write this, obviously.

Even though the repetition of "on the floor" is definitely the worst part of the song, I think the declaration, "It's a new generation of party people" is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard also.

Finally, let's talk about the chorus, which is basically just "lalalalalala" and Tonight we gon' be it on the floor.