Came in first game and just smacked the ball everywhere when no one else could get the ball off the square, sadly that was about all he did in the tournament. Interestingly only bowled one over.

Rob Quiney – Rajasthan
103 runs @ av 14.7 sr 100.98 hs 51

Hit his first ball in the IPL for 6, then went out. Only really got two starts, and showed glimpses of his talent, but good spinners slowed him down or got him out. Hopefully he has learnt some good lessons, and will be able to score more consistently for Victoria.

Only played 3 games, but did look dangerous. Rajasthan were more worried with making runs so he and Morne spent most of their time on the bench.

Luke Ronchi – Mumbai Indians
0 runs from 1 game

Sachin went into panic mode about half way through the tournament and threw Luke one game. He was run out for a duck.

Simon Katich – Punjab
145 runs @ av 16 sr 123 hs 50

His 50 was sensational, as good as I have seen the krab time the ball, but struggled other than that. 2020 really wasn’t made for him, and had his coach not been Moody, I doubt he would played too often.

George Bailey – Chennai
45 runs @ av 22.5 sr 115 hs 30

In both of his innings he looked in top form, and in both of them he ran himself out. The good news was smilin’ George looked completely at home at this level of cricket.

It should be Luke Ronchi, but he has had an Ian Baker Finch time of it since he smashed the Windies around. The next most obvious is Tim Paine, who has to be in the frame because of his massive talent.

But Graham Manou has shunted past these two in the eyes of many experts, even for me, and I love Ronchi and Paine.

Manou’s solid keeping, gutsy batting and consistent performances have just impressed everyone, while Paine and Ronchi fail to get the job done.

If Australia does continue to have just one keeper, Manou doesn’t trust that if Haddin gets injured, he’ll get a call and a plane ticket. The boy wants to be sure of his back up position, and he’s going to England regardless:

“If the selections don’t go my way, processes are being put into place by myself and my management company to get me over there,”

It’s an interesting development in cricket. I am calling it a ghost tourist, which is different to Adil Rashid being a non-official tourist, or Brett Lee’s gate crashing tourist.

What you do is find out where your team is touring, you book a ticket, and then wait around a hotel for a phone call.

It could work, I spose.

The only problem I can see is that the Australian selectors might feel that Manou is emotionally blackmailing them, and decide to give him a big fuck you by selecting Ronchi.

I wouldn’t have picked him, but the selectors now love picking well performed 30 year olds, and Haddin had been the apprentice for so long, Ronchi never stood a real chance.

If that is how they are doing it, so be it, but 8 tests in and where are the performances.

His keeping has been average, at best, he has played injured instead of letting replacements in, his batting, while being handy, has not been near his shield standard, and so far he has not provided any impact.

Going out to a Jesse Ryder straight one, with a loose shot on the up.

He is lucky though, because Luke Ronchi has not been firing for the Warriors this year.

If he was, Haddin might be told he has the summer to settle the spot.

The only keeper in Australia to be batting at an average over 30 is Tim Paine.

And this is his first full year of wicket keeping at shield level.

The boy is a freak, no doubt, but he has never had a full break out year with the bat, and it took him forever to get rid of Clingleffer for the main spot with the gloves.

All this is helping Haddin, but the selectors wont keep him around forever, in India he was batted ahead of Cameron White, so the selectors still believe in him, but for how long.

He is older than Ronchi and Paine, and the one thing we know about Ronchi is impact.

The boy is all impact, and when Haddin let him come in for the one dayers in the West Indies Ronchi made 60 odd off 30 odd.

People tend to remember that.

Now Haddin is at home, on the pitches that suit him, he has to perform.

In the West Indies he was able to finish the test series with finger nails coming off, puss coming out and a broken bone.

Fun times.

Obviously he likes that, and to prepare for the Indian series he has gone and done himself a mischief again.

Apparently it is not that serious, but serious enough that King Probot Mike Hussey got to keep at the end of the warm up game.

With 4 tests to go, I think it’s safe to say that Brad will not make it through till the end.

So let’s get Ronchi over there, and let Haddin get ready for keeping in home tests.

In my perfect Natalie Portman inspired world. Ronchi would keep, but this isn’t my world, this is someone else’s world, so I understand that the wicket keeping job is for NSWales, and cannot be given to a Kiwi Sandgroper that I like.

I don’t understand why keepers can’t be a horses for courses selection anyway.

Ronchi is an international man, and has played in the IPL.

Haddin used to play for the ACT, and should be kept at home where it’s a safe environment for his kind.

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The “A” side is off to India, and with Australia looking as fragile as they have in a long time, this could be an “A” team that ends up in the test arena.

What I think the team will be.

Katich (NSW) captain & opening bat, Peter Roebuck would be happy. I would have preferred to see Marcus North get the job. But one decided to stay in Western Australia, the other decided to move to NSWales. The Krab is a test player, for any other country, even if I hate him.

Phillip Hughes (NSW), opening bat. Is only a foetus, but can play, Made a few runs this year, and being that opening batsman in Australia are hard to come by probably not a bad choice.

Adam Voges (WA), 3. Been around for a while now, seems to have missed out as the Australian team’s back up one day batsman to Future PM. Can bat, but would doubt he will ever play for Australia.

Marcus North (WA), 4. When he makes runs, he makes them by the truck load. Has a great cricket brain, but has been an ‘A” guy for a while now without ever really looking like playing for Australia.

George Bailey (Tas), 5. Has been picked on potential, and the season before this. Is the batsman all teams try and get through in Tasmania,

Luke Ronchi (WA) keeper & 6. Anyone who saw him in the Windies knows this kid has a little sumtin sumtin.

Ashley Noffke (QLD) opening bowler & 7. This may be his audition for the same spot a month later when the big boys tour.

Beau Casson (NSW) chinaman & 8/9. Him Vs Bryce for the first test.

Ryan Harris (QLD via SA) first change & 8/9. Nickname is rhino, and does play like that. Strong as a mofo on ice, and can bowl all day full, quick and pretty damn well. Also a more than handy number 9, could easily be a number 7 in a weaker batting line up.

Bryce McGain (VIC) leggie & tail. If he out bowls Casson he gets a baggy green.

Doug Bollinger (NSW) left arm opener & tail. Could be the face of Australian bowling for the next ten years, Doesn’t look like much, but picks up wickets waiting for a taxi.

Peter Siddle (VIC) back up quick & tail. If he could stay fit for a whole season we could tell if he is the real deal or a lucky boy. But every time he plays he gets wickets, hard to argue with that.

Peter Forrest (NSW) back up batsman. No idea why he is here, oh wait NSWales. Saw him face Dirty Dirk one day sucking his thumb and asking for mummy.

Jason Krezja (TAS) back up offie & 7/8. Has a modest record but a confident lad who can bat a bit, would be lucky to play ahead of anyone here, but if he gets a game and gets wickets he could maybe leap frog McGain or Casson, but I doubt it.

Overall a pretty good squad.

Can bat till 9, or till 10 if Krejza plays ahead of McGain.

Bowling looks a lot better than the batting, especially with Noffke at 7 giving you an extra bowler.

Like most Australian A sides there is at least 7 players who would get a game for most test nations right now.

If the top order can make runs, could be a good series for the lads.

Players who would be a little miffed at missing out.

Chris Rogers as opener, he played a test match this year, right?

Luke Pomersbach, just because you look, smell, and drink like a lumberjack doesn’t mean you don’t deserve an “A” spot if you have made as many runs as he has.

Dan Cullen, without looking I’d say he probably still took more wickets than Krezja, but, I think someone else should get a go anyway.

So I thought I would pick a second 15 from those who will probably miss out.

Luke Ronchi, wicket keeper and gun opener. Ask the Windies and the Mumbai Indian net bowlers.

Tim Paine, back up wicket keeper, and excellent opening batsman. Ronchi brings the fire works and he brings the class.

Brad Hodge, occasionally I bag Brad Hodge, but he is the second best number batsman in Australia, which makes him one of the best batsmen in the world.

Adam Voges, Vice Captain, has played for Australia before and in England would be a very fine middle order batsman. George Bailey, smiles a lot, probably because he knows he can bat well, had an ordinary year, but I predict big things from his selection in my second XI.

Dan Marsh, best Tasmanian captain in Australia, still makes runs, still takes wickets, and still is a fat fucker.

Ashley Noffke, his one day form is generally ordinary, but if he can average 50 with the bat in shield cricket I am happy with him at 7, bowling first change, or whenever wickets are needed.

Ryan Harris, the big fella with shoulders made of granite, needed big shoulders from all his carrying of South Australia,

Brett Geeves, the quickie from Tasmania, not a bad guy to have coming in at 9 either. Xavier Doherty, I would pick stutter step over Cullen, and Hauritz, a wicket taker who can bowl left arm orthodox at the death, handy to have.

Shaun Tait, from memory, before his “exhaustion” took a few wickets in a world cup.

Luke Ronchi, is fairly new on the scene. He follows Ryan Campbell and Adam Gilchrist as hard hitting, tidy, if not brilliant wicketkeepers from Western Australia, who will probably play for Australia.

Not an overly big bloke, but he does hit a huge ball. Was born in New Zealand, but I have already forgiven him for this. Would probably be my pick for Australian gloveman rather than Haddin, but Haddin does have the runs on the board. Like all Western Australian boys he likes short bowling, and can swing across the line beautifully.

Holds some sort of record for fastest Australian domestic hundred, and once belted Stuart Clark so hard Stuart questioned his sexuality. Actually that was probably the same innings come to think of it.

Anyway the boy can bat the house down, and would have been one of the first gloveman in all of world cricket I would have picked for the IPL. Scores at a huge rate in both forms of real cricket. Has a rather odd demeanor, it’s almost as if his head is too big for his body.

But that just adds to the charm, or something like that.

He hasn’t made runs yet, but he will cut loose once this tournament, I hope.

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Now each team has 48 international players, but only a maximum of 4 can play at any one time.

I have no idea what the hell is going on, but I did notice that a couple of Australian domestic cricketers got scooped up.

Luke Pomersbach, the man who played for Australia when Brad Hogde couldn’t put his pants on, got selected for 50,000 cheesels.

That is a bargain buy.

This boy hits the ball like its some punk who stole his girl.

Ofcourse he will need to be kept away from the bar.

Brett Geeves from Tasmania was also selected. He is one of my favourite cricketers at the moment. Can bowl mid to high 140’s, swings from the hip with the bat and also quite god with a quip when miked up.

Although does have a very odd hair cut.

He also was a great price at 50,000 as well.

Shane Watson went for 125,000 clams, which I assume is to be a team mascot, he will be shown naked and lubed up for the ladies of India (and some men) to admire.

If the IPL are still looking for players I think there are a couple that could be worth the 50,000 pesos they are throwing around.

Dan Christian from South Australia. Bowls at about 140, but is a batsmen. Can hit a long ball, and generally bats like his house is burning down.

Adam Crosthwaite/Andrew McDonald from Victoria, both big hitters, who can keep and bowl at a high respectively. Plus Adam is willing to claim anything that may look like a catch. Downside, Andrew has red hair.

Brendan Drew from Tasmania is one hell of a quick bowler, who if i remember correctly had Sri Lanka in all sorts of trouble. Bowls quick and straight, and whilst not a batsmen, can hit long and hard.

Luke Ronchi and Theo Doropolous are both big hitting young dudes from Wa. Ronchi has the added advantage of being a pretty good keep, Theo has the added advantage of a cool greek name.