Interesting story. It's very original. I certainly wasn't expecting Ron to be a father, or almost-father. But considering that, I would have thought 6th year seems a better time to set this story. But is this the summer before or after 6th year?

As for characterisation, I thought you did a great job. You capture the feel of the Weasleys very well. I especially liked Fred and George and their banter. Ron was a little different from canon, but I think that's to be expected with what he's going through. That being said, I wouldn't have expected Ron to do this anyway. I mean, maybe it's just me, but I never imagined Ron being that kind of person.
Anyway, it's very interesting to have him working in a muggle shop (is it muggle?). It makes sense that Ron would have some kind of contact with the muggles since he lives in near them. And L seems like someone Ron would clash with, so I guess their relationship will be interesting too.

I didn't notice many errors here, but I there were a few missing punctuation marks that you may want to fix.
Anyway, good job :)

Author's Response: Thankyou!
As for Ron's age, I've actually set the story just before 5th year, which is very young! I'm planning on explaining it in more detail though which should clear a few things up.
Thanks for the review :)