James Harden’s girlfriend Maliah Michel

James Harden’s girlfriend Maliah Michel has had some experiences, if you care to get to know her. She might actually be more interesting than her rockstar basketball boyfriend! Yes, she’s a stripper with some considerable assets, but that’s just the beginning of the tale, no pun intended.

Maliah managed to get herself a scholarship to Cal State Northridge for softball, and she lived with her sister and her sister’s two children in a small apartment thanks to an assisted living program called Americorps. To earn money, she became a stripper at the age of 18, starting at a “white club in Beverly Hills,” according to her Vibe Magazine interview, earning 80 dollars a night. When she switched to a black club, she started earning a minimum of 500 dollars a night. She credits the uptick in monetary appreciation to her voluptuousness. She saved and earned enough money to buy her own house in Las Vegas. Then she got engaged, but her fiance got addicted to both crack and heroin, and she lost all of her money and her house. She then became deeply religious and quit stripping. “All I did was go to church. I mean, I literally had to pull a gun on my ex-fiance. That whole experience led me to God.” Goodness gracious! I feel like I’m reading a 21st Century draft of The Brothers Karamazov (only with cool strippers instead of Russian brothers).

Well, things are looking up for M&M now. Things are so good, in fact, that she’s relaxed her piety and returned to the occasional high-end stripping. Before getting together with James Harden, she starred in Drake’s cinematic music video “Find Your Love.” She was with him for awhile, but she’s since upgraded to the 6’5” Mr. Harden-Fast, who is one of the league’s premier scoring guards. After leaving Oklahoma City, James’ numbers shot up, and he’s now averaging 24 PPG over the last two seasons. He got paid over $13,000,000 for his 2013-14 season. I wonder if his contract stipulated for him to be paid in all one-dollar bills?