Quote:
Whether you think you can or think you canít - you are right.~ Henry Ford

Tackling
Low Self-
Esteem

written by Gayle Callaghan, Psy.D.

Being a teen has always been a challenge, but today it is even harder when facing pressure from peers and parents to do and be “good enough”. The toughest critics of all, however, are usually the teens themselves. Let’s back up briefly and take a look at how self-esteem is formed and what contributes to it.

Very early on, children figure out whether they are pleasing their caretakers or not. If parents are spending at least as much time telling a child how much they like what the child is doing as they spend correcting or criticizing a child, the child is on the way toward a healthy sense of self.

As psychologist and author, Jody Kussin said, “Catch Them Being Good,” and when you do, let your child know you appreciate his/her behaving the way you want. During elementary school, children build self-esteem through achievement. Why is building self-esteem so important during elementary school? A strong, positive sense of self and self-worth helps children to better navigate the “storm and stress” of adolescence without giving in to the pressures. Feeling good about oneself encourages continued effort to succeed despite challenges.

What contributes to self-esteem? A person’s views about who they are, what they are good at or not, how they think they look, and how others see them all have a role in self-esteem. Media offers a distorted view of a desirable look, offering overly thin and overly sexualized models as “ideal”. No wonder our teens can have distorted views about a desirable body image!

These distorted views can lead to unhealthy eating in order to be overly thin, and can undermine good health by contributing to fatigue, poor

concentration, muscle weakness, and learning problems. Use of stimulants to curb appetite can place teens at risk for serious health problems. On the other hand, a sense of deprivation from poor self-image can lead to comforting themselves with overeating or substance abuse. Poor self-image can create some serious risks for our teens on all levels.

Maintaining a healthy body image and belief that one's body is both acceptable and deserving of care contributes to self-esteem at all ages.

Teens: Pay attention to how you talk to yourself — are you self-critical and do you usually compare yourself to others negatively? Begin to practice more positive and encouraging ways to think about yourself. Are you smart in a subject? How would it feel to help tutor someone who is struggling in that subject?