If you've ever wondered what would happen if someone actually cared to check IDs at a tailgate, here you go. Sixty-one poor bastard minors, each of whom only took one sip, c'mon man, can't you let it go just this one time?

The Pennsylvania Bureau of Liquor Enforcement chose Tuesday's game against the Mets to launch an underage drinking crackdown, and they say it'll be the first of many this season. "Several" plainclothes officers, and two in uniform, kept watch on the Citizens Bank Parking lot from 4 p.m. until 9 p.m. (First pitch was at 7:00.) Their net captured 61 unfortunate, sodden minnows.

Meanwhile the Phillies continue to court the underage-drinking demographic that gave them a three-plus-year sellout streak. Tuesday was dollar hot dog night. Tonight they're offering special group discounts. The infamous college nights, which tend to turn into drunken asshole conventions, haven't been announced yet, but they're coming.

The LCB will be back too. The Phillies are old, the Flyers are done, the Eagles are flawed, and the Sixers are crap. It's enough to make a 19-year-old need to drink the pain away.