The perfect solution for screaming cell phone users

Yeah, I can just hear recent readers gasping, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T OWN A CELL PHONE….HOW DO YOU EXIST?”

Easy….I just don’t have one.

And since I’m not a doctor, lawyer, or Oprah Winfrey, I don’t require a cell phone for any type of immediate emergency.

If someone can’t get hold of me at home, then they can leave a message on my voice mail and I’ll call them back ASAP.

Plain and simple.

However, there was a time when I DID own a cell phone in lieu of a landline phone because it was actually cheaper for long distance phone calls. Yet, now with the all-inclusive long distance deals they offer on home phones, I got rid my cell phone years and year ago. Like back in 2001.

The thing I really dislike about using a cell phone is the uncertainty of getting a clear and uninterrupted connection. I can’t stand talking to someone on a phone while our conversation is muffled and going in and out as if we’re talking under water on a CB radio. And god forbid you lose your signal, it’s like you suddenly entered the Twilight Zone and your conversation is floating around in mid-sentence somewhere in outer space; waiting to get reconnected. That drives me absolutely crazy.

I'm not a big phone talker as it is, so if I have to talk on the phone....I want it to be as clear and easy as possible.

But above all, the thing I most dislike about cell phones is the lack of privacy and having to hear a great many people hanging their dirty laundry in public. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people talking about things they should be discussing in total privacy.

And in a soundproof room.

And wearing a straitjacket.

While chewing on VALIUM.

I mean if you're going to have a SCREAMING argument with your wife, at least have the decency to wait until you're home, not while walking down the city streets during 5:00 rush hour pedestrian traffic, so that we can ALL hear about how she cheated on you with a 23-year old cashier at Burger King.

However, the other day I finally came up with the perfect solution for screaming cell phone users…

64 comments

What's worse are those darn blue-tooth earpieces that people use. There's no difference between a crazy homeless person talking to themselves and someone using a blue-tooth headset.

Luckily for me I'm required to have a cell phone per work requirements, and because of that my work pays for mine. I haven't had to pay for a cell phone for many years. This tends to cut down on the number of telemarketers who attempt to call me (they're not allowed to use call phone numbers), but I do have a person who apparently keeps drunk-dialing my number every so often, and just does not get the hint that my name is not "Jeffrey" and that I'm not the father of her baby...

I'd love to try a day without a cell phone - and I'm not a big consumer. At work, as I'm teaching I cannot have my phone anyway. Taking it easy, talking when we really have the time is way better than answering when you are crammed into a subway wagon...

I do have a mobile phone which I use mainly for texting so I'm not one of those people who includes Joe Public in my conversations. I feel safer having a mobile with me - I know I can get help in an emergency. I do agree with you though about the inappropriateness of some conversations people have in public. I like your solution to the problem too Ron. LOL

Oh how I dislike silly people who insist on talking/shouting on their cell phones so we can all hear. It's like they think they're surrounded by an invisible bubble or something. *shaking head*

I don't like phones....cell or otherwise.This is why I carry two! LOL

Oy.....I just realized how stupid that sounded when I have two on my person at all times. And a landline in the house.....

OMG

I'll work on getting that changed.In the meantime--please be advised that none of the phones actually ring. Including the house phone (ringer off!). I don't answer them when I'm out and about unless it's an emergency. I don't talk while I drive the car. And I always, always exit the company of other ears when I do answer the darn thing(s).

k.... Seriously gonna do something about the 5 phones between two people deal! O M G

You are so funny, Ron. I get a real lift when I read your posts. No, dear boy, not THAT sort of lift...

I always use a cell phone but ... DON'T LAUGH ... I either switch it off when I'm in a public place or switch to silent mode. Heehee kind of defeats the object methinks. Hubs said I should use silent mode more often but I don't think he was talking about the phone.

I was late to the party Ron. Most people had a cell phone before I broke down and got one. Now of course, almost everyone does. There was even a time when I had no home phone, and used my cell as my all-around phone. Again, the long distance was free.

Although I love having mine, I am aware of using it in public. I'm conscious of those around me, and try to be polite an non-bothering when people are around. I can't even imagine talking like "THAT" in public.

You are a rare breed these days. But then again, you don't have to lug it around with you either. Or worry about losing it. Not having one has it's perks.

Boy, I wish it were the same here in the States. Here in U.S. people who work retail are not only permitted to have their cell phones on them at work, but they are also ALLOWED to talk on them while waiting on customers. OMG...that drives me INSANE!

"Taking it easy, talking when we really have the time is way better than answering when you are crammed into a subway wagon..."

I sooooooooooooo agree with you! I would much rather talk face to face than on the phone.

Always such a delight to see your comments, beautiful lady! Thank you for stopping by.

I do have a cell phone and I use it sometimes. I try to not be rude by talking too loud or taking a call if I'm with someone but it depends on who's calling and if I think it's something I need to deal with. It's so funny that when I was growing up my parents certainly didn't have cell phones and even the house phone might be busy for long periods of time if someone was extra chatty but we still managed. Even though I don't use my phone as much as some others do, I still feel a little weird if I forget to take it with me or if the battery goes dead. Crazy!

The bluetooth thingy is the worst. And they all seem to think they are so important when they are having a conversation on one. LOL

Bravo to you for being able to get along just fine without a cell phone! Very cool.

"It's like they think they're surrounded by an invisible bubble or something. *shaking head*"

Yes! Yes! Yes! That's it EXACTLY!

"I don't like phones....cell or otherwise.

This is why I carry two."

Bwhahahhahahahahaha! Oh, I love ya, Mel! But I bet you're extremely conscious about use and the volume of your voice.

"I don't talk while I drive the car. And I always, always exit the company of other ears when I do answer the darn thing(s)."

((( Mel )))

"please be advised that none of the phones actually ring. Including the house phone (ringer off!). I don't answer them when I'm out and about unless it's an emergency."

HA! And yet, another 'Libra thing' we have in common! My house phone ringer is off too (unless I am expecting a call), but other than that, I wait until the see the 'red blinking light' like that tells me I have voice mail.

Funny you mentioned being late to the party, because I was the same way. It took me years to get a cell phone and then another hundred years to finally get a computer - HA!

"Although I love having mine, I am aware of using it in public. I'm conscious of those around me, and try to be polite an non-bothering when people are around. I can't even imagine talking like "THAT" in public."

Yes, I'm sure your very conscious and considerate.

OMG, you should come into Center City on the weekend and listen to the conversations you'll hear on the streets - it's totally freakin' unbelievable. I've also had customers do that in the store I work at.

Aahhhh....city life!

I work with a woman who loses her cell phone at least twice a week. And she keeps in her BRA - HA!

I don't have a cell phone either. And at times when I did have one - nobody called.

I have a home phone - which is now effectively my mother's.

---

But I love how the internet and GPS has advanced for cellphone users - it is very useful when you are on the go and you need information - and for playing Foursquare or Gowalla which I did all weekend using my brother's SIM

---

One useful invention which is used mostly in an idiotic manner is the wireless ear-peace.

Some men have them attached to their ears all the time besides driving and working - in class, at the dinner table,in the bathroom, at places of worship, while having sex, etc.

"It's so funny that when I was growing up my parents certainly didn't have cell phones and even the house phone might be busy for long periods of time if someone was extra chatty but we still managed."

OMG, I know what you mean! That was before 'call waiting' was invented! I don't think I've gotten a busy signal on someone's phone in like 10 years. And do you remember when house phones were only on the wall? My family had ours in the kitchen. You also had to stand to talk on the phone because the cord was only 5 inches long!

Yes, I do realize and see the value in having a cell phone for emergencies. For that reason, I think they're great!

"The bluetooth thingy is the worst. And they all seem to think they are so important when they are having a conversation on one."

Amen Buddy, I am so with you on this one, I like cell phones when we are on the road but not for everyday use, I don't want to hear someone else on the phone out in public as I don't really care what the Doctor said about that rash that crept up on you when you weren't looking.

Another thing that I have had happen is responding to someone's "Hello" and then responding again to the "How are you doing" only to get a dirty look and realize they are talking on the phone and not to me.

LOL This was AWESOME!!! :) I wish I could go cold turkey on the cell phone, but driving the freeway every day out here in Southern Cali, it's just not safe not to have one. In case of breakdown or some Road Rager gone mad! I do not, however, have anything other than talking and text and picture capability. I can't surf the net, post on FB, play poker, or find my way out of a dark alley with a GPS.

I'm with you, Ron. People have gone WAY overboard on their public speaking. There are women in my building here at work, who carry their phones into the bathroom stalls. So let me get this straight: Talking about your hangover last night is so important that you'll let the person you're speaking with listen to you pee AND try to juggle the phone so you can wipe?

REALLY???

Ugh. Wishin' we were back in the 50s and 60s. WIth party lines. Then, I could opt in only if I wanted to!

Yes, I totally agree....having a cell phone is ideal if you drive in case of breakdown. Especially if you're driving alone at night on the freeway. My mother has one just for that reason.

"So let me get this straight: Talking about your hangover last night is so important that you'll let the person you're speaking with listen to you pee AND try to juggle the phone so you can wipe?"

Bwahahahahahahhaha! HILARIOUS! And it's true, because I hear guys in the mens room doing the same thing! You haven't lived until you've watched a guy stand at a urinal, holding his "binky" in one hand, while holding his cell phone in the other!!

"Wishin' we were back in the 50s and 60s. WIth party lines. Then, I could opt in only if I wanted to!"

YES!!! I do too! Do you remember party lines? There's a movie with Rock Hudson and Doris Day where they're talking on a part line in the movie - it's hysterical!

Thanks so much for stopping by, Grace! I'll be dropping by your blog later!

Hi Ron!!! I totally resent screaming cell phone users. I hate it when I am subjected to hearing about this one's dying aunt or that ones kid's test the next day. Who the hell cares??? I am like you (once again) where I hate talking on the phone. After gabbing for ten hours a day making small talk with patients, the last thing I want to do is have a phone conversation with anyone. It sounds anti-social but that is how I feel. Alas...I must have a cell phone because of my job. And of course to play words with friends....now that is my kind of communication.

"I'll climb into the cell phone booth with that cute young man and find out if he's cheating on me!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You GO, girl!

"And I thought I was the only one who felt that way about cell phones! The need for instant gratification has so intensified."

Yes, thank you....instant gratification! And no, you're not the only one who feels this way about cell phones. I can totally see the need for them in certain situations, however they've gotten way out of hand. Some people can't seem to exist without taking on one ALL DAY LONG.

"go ahead, get to your funeral ten minutes earlier!"

Amen.

Thanks so much for stopping by, dearest lady! It's always such a happy moment when I see your comments!

you find the best pics on the web ron. love that booth for cell phone users. i hate the phone: cell phone, telephone, tin can with a string phone. i prefer email actually...i do have one for an emergency though, but i don't chat on it. it's more like state your business and let's hang up.

my cell phone is one of the oldest models there is - it doesn't take pics, it doesn't have web access or games, it doesn't slice or dice or do the laundryit is a freakin' phone that is always OFF unless my car plows into a tree and I feel the need to call 911even then, if I can get out of the car I might just walk away and call from a diner

the other day I was having a wonderful early morning grocery shopping event when in walks a young woman talking into her hair - I assume it was her hands free device but I decided to play dumbI followed behind her responding out loud to whatever she was saying on the phonefinally she whirled around and asked me what was wrong with meHAH! wrong with me?I explained with a straight face that I had assumed she was speaking to me and didn't realize she was actually speaking to her hair I told her I hoped she found help soon, smiled and went back to finding bananas

Okay, I am trying to get over the SHOCK - I cannot believe you dont have a cell phone!!!!

I am MARRIED to mine. While I'm not a big phone talker, I am a HUGE texter. And, I have to obsessively check my Facebook notifications!It's bad. I probably need rehab.

However, I can totally see your reasons for NOT having a cell phone. And, I agree with you. Those people who scream in public on their cell phones drives me NUTS. No matter where I am, if my son calls my cell phone, I walk away and go somewhere private as to NOT disturb others!

"Okay, I am trying to get over the SHOCK - I cannot believe you dont have a cell phone!!!!"

HAHAHAHAHHAAHA! I know, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

OMG, I was just telling someone at work that I have NEVER text in my entire life - I'm not even sure I'd know how to do it?!? But hey, I'm also obsessive about checking my emails, blog comments, FB notifications, etc.

"No matter where I am, if my son calls my cell phone, I walk away and go somewhere private as to NOT disturb others!"

Fabulous solution! I got a cell phone years ago after my car broke down with kids in tow. I mainly use it for emergencies and now use it for all my long distance calling....however, I am not a big phone conversationalist anyway! I'd rather talk to you face to face and see your expression rather than read tones!

"I mainly use it for emergencies and now use it for all my long distance calling...."

Yes, I can totally understand using one for that. That's one of the main reasons why I had one while still living in Florida. It was sooooo much cheaper to have one for long distance calls, and also for car emergencies!

"I'd rather talk to you face to face and see your expression rather than read tones!"

I do not like to talk on the phone either..but I do love my iphone. This is my second one..I dropped the first one in the river. This is what i learned about that..no matter how quickly you jump in and retrieve it ..it's toast. :~/

As always, I love your images and your wonderful energy and sense of humor!I've missed you...so nice to be back in your world here. :)

I would have thought you had a cell phone !!!! I love the photo at the end. Yes there are times when I get peed off having to listen to someone scream on the phone while I was trying to eat or listen to some music. I own a cell phone and a land line phone and I also have two tomato cans with 36 miles of string to talk on. I sometimes use smoke signals to communicate and I chat on the computer with people who I don't know even know or want to know. I have a chip implanted behind my ear and one inside my mouth so I can talk. I don't even want to tell you where the antenna is for this little device. I love to talk and talk. Some times I just call myself and have a great discussion. I know of one time I was out of town and called myself and ran up a phone bill of $890.88 on long distant charges for one afternoon. I really had nothing to say to myself but it was great hearing my voice.Oh well, have to run. The phone is ringing.

Just wanna be sure I understand: no mobile phone. Would never have guessed. Shows how long it takes to get acquainted through blogging. If we had met in person, this fact would possibly have presented itself far more quickly.

But yes, I do see your point. The women who bring their conversations into the ladies' room make me a little uncomfortable.

The one thing I notice that sets me apart from a broader population of mobile users is that I am not a data-app-techno user. I talk a little. Very occasionally text. That's it.

But step onto any college campus. Glance around as students spill out of the academic buildings at the top of the hour. First thing on the agenda? Fiddling around with their phone-app-thingy.

Yes, I did say fiddling.

Talking is oh, so, 2003. Maybe earlier. Not sure. How would i know? I still talk on my regular phone, but never in the ladies room.

i know this comment is late but hey, better late than never as the cliche goes. majority of people who own a mobile phone do not have the slightest idea of phone etiquette. sad but true! if you, being the responsible one happen to point out their misdemeanor, they think that you have no right to do so. sad but again true. i hope that solution will really materialize. i do not mind seeing people wearing that! hahahaha!

"But step onto any college campus. Glance around as students spill out of the academic buildings at the top of the hour. First thing on the agenda? Fiddling around with their phone-app-thingy.

OH. MY. GOD. you said it, girl! I live in an apartment building, as well as a city, that is mainly populated with college students. And you should see what it's like to get in an elevator FILLED with colllege students who are either talking on their cell phones or text messaging; totally ignoring you when you say, "Hi, good morning...." NOTHING! I sincerely think they cannot talk to anyone unless they're on a phone.

"I still talk on my regular phone, but never in the ladies room."

HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend! Hope you had a great Wednesday!

"majority of people who own a mobile phone do not have the slightest idea of phone etiquette."

"if you, being the responsible one happen to point out their misdemeanor, they think that you have no right to do so."

Yes...sad but true is right!

I think the worst place someone can use a cell phone is while driving a car. I think it should be forbidden and enforced. I can't tell you how many times a city cab almost hit me while crossing the street because they were talking on a cell phone and not paying attention.

"i hope that solution will really materialize. i do not mind seeing people wearing that!'

apologies to be so late, my dear, but i can just now hear myself breathing....omg, what a drag is bacterial pneumonia with a side of ulcerative colitis from meds that are supposed to make me better...

i detest them too, so you can count me into your club, tho i do own one 'just in case' i have to make a call as in ca. there are no phone booths anymore and i live too far out to be without something so i have an old one that is big and clunky and i am sure would embarrass my kids ;) but since the last time i used it was 2006, no matter...

today i was interviewing people for cleaning my home and one woman who owns a company came and it wasn't long before things started dinging and ringing and singing, all different and i realized, since she was "trying" to ignore the symphony, that she must have several devices all vying for her immediate attention. finally, as she sat there sweating and trying to deal with the hardest woman on the planet when it comes to making a decent deal [in her favor] i mentioned she might want to answer at least ONE of them....so she pulls one out, then the other goes off again and she sneaks a peak and omg, that's an emergency of one kid or another so she MUST take that one, puts the other on hold or something, then she is talking to a kid and the third sneaky little devil goes off again and she drags it out and starts texting at the same time--she had grown three arms suddenly--saying that was an emergency too!!! i sat there just grinning at her and talking and making it very difficult in general with an occasional remark about how ridiculous is our world today when one cannot even sit and pee without someone calling her name. *grins*

That first picture is fabulous! I didn't have a cell phone until about 5 years ago but I still rarely use it other than when I'm traveling between work locations. I have 900 minutes a month but I really only use about 100.

I would love that cell phone booth for people who use cell phones on an elevator! I'm thrilled when they lose their connection. :-)

First of all, it's common knowledge that Burger King has the hottest cashiers from any fast food franchise. So who could blame her?

Second of all, I completely agree about cell phone quality - people always complain about one or another provider, but it seems clear that nobody can make cell phones work well.

Still, I would never ever get rid of mine, because I am a crazy paranoid lady and the idea of being able to call for help while being attacked by a raging killer on the side of the highway is what gets me through night drives.

I absolutely hate cell phones. I do not have one, I do not wish to have a cell phone because cell phone companies charge way to much dinero and I don't like private conversations being overheard by someone.

I couldn't agree more! I'm rather attached to my cell phone even though the reception is terrible. I like it more for all of the other features it has on it. At least, these days people seem to be a bit better about not yelling into their phones like they used to.