In the end, we're all just an echo of our past experiences and people we've met throughout our lives...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Marshmallows

Well, school has begun for us again here - preschool, that is. And with it has come some interesting behavior.

I was really looking forward to school starting again because Fellan has been talking about it a lot during the summer. He loves his school, it's been really good for his social development, and I thought it would be just great for him to be back in school.

However, let me give you a little taste of what it's like to live with a highly sensitive, emotional, determined (aka stubborn), and slow to accept change little 4.5 year old boy.

I was late getting home from work one day and I got an agitated phone call from my husband. "Where are you and when are you going to be home?!! I've gone downstairs to take a break from Fellan and I just can't deal with him anymore!"

He relayed to me the situation - out of the blue, Fellan decided he wanted to eat marshmallows. (where that came from, I have no idea - he doesn't just eat marshmallows on an every-day kind of basis!) Unfortunately, upon looking in the pantry, my husband had to inform the previously happy and well-behaved little boy that we didn't have any marshmallows in the pantry.

Apparently at that point, the boy's skull opened up and from it grew a creature so hideously upset that only reddened eyeballs and a screaming mouth could be seen. For at least 30 minutes, the boy threw a complete fit about the fact that we didn't have marshmallows. Other food options were suggested to him, but nothing would appease his hunger for marshmallows. After being unable to pacify this intense, sustained outburst, the husband retreated to the downstairs room to re-group.

I got home in time to go upstairs and find the boy beginning to calm down a little bit. By that point, he was in the stage of his tantrum that he needed to be hugged. He needs to be touched and held in order to calm down from such an intensely physical outburst. I sat with him and hugged him and tried to get him to talk to me. I knew that if I talked about food of any type, it would set him off again.

He finally calmed down enough for me to get into the kitchen, make him a quesadilla, take it out to him, set it in front of him, and move away quickly.

The boy doesn't like to be wrong. He doesn't like to be caught in a situation where he feels trapped by his emotions or his stubbornness. So, by putting the food in front of him and not saying anything, he could discover it and make the decision himself that, "Oh Yes! This is exactly what I need right now. Marshmallows? What was I thinking?!... Mmmm... yummy, cheesey goodness..."

There have actually been a few other seemingly irrational outbursts like this during the last couple of weeks. It coincided exactly with the start of the school year. You know, it's flabbergasting sometimes - the more we learn about this little boy, the more we need to learn! Whew.

I seem to recall being rather stubbornly emotional about certain things sometimes. Sorry about that, mom! :)

P.S. After calming the boy down and beginning to get on with supper preparation, I happened to look in the pantry and find a bag of marshmallows up on a top shelf with about 5 marshmallows left in it. I didn't tell my husband about the bag until a couple of hours and a couple of glasses of wine later...