Microsoftâ€™s Mystery Miracle

Microsoft this week achieved something that has thoroughly eluded it for decades: actual excitement. After sending out a mysterious invitation to virtually everyone on Earth with even the most tenuous of tech press credentialsâ€”sort of the opposite of the â€śexclusiveâ€ť event it claimedâ€”the software giant has found itself at the center of an incredible and frankly unprecedented wave of interest. What, exactly, is Microsoft going to announce today in Los Angeles?

Who cares?

Honestly, whatever Microsoft announces, itâ€™s not going to change anything. If itâ€™s a Microsoft- or Xbox-branded tablet, as many expect, it will probably make as much of a dent in that market as the Zune did in the MP3 player market. Ditto if itâ€™s an Xbox entertainment services announcement, as I first expected, given the location of the invitation: Zune Marketplace and Music Pass never threatened iTunes for a second.

What Iâ€™m more interested in here is why this announcement has generated so much interest. It just doesnâ€™t make any sense.

And yes, I was invited to attend the mysterious announcement. Heck, everyone was.

â€śYou are invited to an exclusive Microsoft media event in Los Angeles, California, on Monday, June 18th,â€ť the invitation reads. â€śThis is a â€¦ non-transferrable â€¦ invitation-only event. Registration will be first-come, first-served. This will be a major Microsoft announcementâ€”you will not want to miss it.â€ť

Speculation about this event has continued unabated since late last week. Iâ€™ve received three invitations from others in the media to simply speculate about what it is that Microsoft will announce, a situation that suggests it actually matters what Microsoft announces. I find this confusing.

Everyone in the tech press, tech bloggers, and even mainstream media have gotten in on the game. No one actually knows what Microsoft will announce, but everyone is ready to offer up an opinion with varying degrees of certainty. Twitter has exploded with speculation about the event, and my email Inbox has been piling up with questions since Friday.

Again, why?

Letâ€™s say Microsoft announces a Windows 8 or Windows RT tablet. So instead of 87 hardware-maker partners selling these devices, weâ€™ll have 88, one of which will offer a â€śMicrosoft Signatureâ€ť experience. If you donâ€™t know what Signature is, youâ€™re not alone: Microsoft actually already sells PCs through its retail and online stores. And since you donâ€™t know or care about Signature, never cared about Zune, and really couldnâ€™t care less about yet another ebook readerâ€”another commonly suggested possibilityâ€”then itâ€™s unclear why this announcement matters in the slightest.

By achieving a curiously and unexpectedly Apple-like level of excitement for an announcement that, letâ€™s face it, could end up being of no import at all, Microsoft is setting itself up to fail. Maybe not today, but down the road since its future announcements will never live up to this hype. But why wouldnâ€™t Microsoft want to replicate this wonderful, giddy, successful event again and again and again? Microsoft is many things, but it loves to beat a good idea to death.

Yes, Iâ€™m curious about what Microsoft will announce today, but then Iâ€™ve been following this company for two decades. I donâ€™t get why most of the people who are excited and sitting on the edge of their seats are interested at all, I really donâ€™t.

I cannot wait for this next exciting chapter to begin.
I'm almost giddy with anticipation.
I just hope it's as entertaining as were the Zune, Vista, Kin, Windows Phone, Windows Tabets, Courier, and Microsoft store chapters have been.
Maybe there'll be another mock funeral.....
The possibilities are endless!

I cannot wait for this next exciting chapter to begin.
I'm almost giddy with anticipation.
I just hope it's as entertaining as were the Zune, Vista, Kin, Windows Phone, Windows Tabets, Courier, and Microsoft store chapters have been.
Maybe there'll be another mock funeral.....
The possibilities are endless!

I cannot wait for this next exciting chapter to begin.
I'm almost giddy with anticipation.
I just hope it's as entertaining as were the Zune, Vista, Kin, Windows Phone, Windows Tabets, Courier, and Microsoft store chapters have been.
Maybe there'll be another mock funeral.....
The possibilities are endless!

Alas, I don't think Ballmer retires this way. Although, it'd be great to see him take the stage and say, "I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm leaving" 37 times.
The buzz that Microsoft has generated is noteworthy, as Apple has been doing that for years. I think regardless of what the product is, they need the other part of what Apple does so well - they need to ship the product no later than the end of next week. If it's a "hey - we'll have something in 6 months" vaporware announcement, Microsoft will have failed.

I cannot wait for this next exciting chapter to begin.
I'm almost giddy with anticipation.
I just hope it's as entertaining as were the Zune, Vista, Kin, Windows Phone, Windows Tabets, Courier, and Microsoft store chapters have been.
Maybe there'll be another mock funeral.....
The possibilities are endless!

I just hope it's as entertaining as were the Zune, Vista, Kin, Windows Phone, Windows Tabets, Courier, and Microsoft store chapters have been.
Maybe there'll be another mock funeral.....
The possibilities are endless!

Yet again Microsoft will miss the point. They could have learnt from the Apple business model, but didn't. They could have learnt from IBM history but probably won't. I don't always agree with Apple's business ethics, but I have to admire their business model. I don't always agree with Microsoft's business ethics either, but I seriously doubt that they have a business model. Apple have pretty much concentrated on their core business while dipping their toe in other areas. Microsoft are now dipping their toes in so many areas that they no longer have any idea what their core business is.

I cannot wait for this next exciting chapter to begin.
I'm almost giddy with anticipation.
I just hope it's as entertaining as were the Zune, Vista, Kin, Windows Phone, Windows Tabets, Courier, and Microsoft store chapters have been.
Maybe there'll be another mock funeral.....
The possibilities are endless!

I cannot wait for this next exciting chapter to begin.
I'm almost giddy with anticipation.
I just hope it's as entertaining as were the Zune, Vista, Kin, Windows Phone, Windows Tabets, Courier, and Microsoft store chapters have been.
Maybe there'll be another mock funeral.....
The possibilities are endless!

" Ive received three invitations from others in the media to simply speculate about what it is that Microsoft will announce, a situation that suggests it actually matters what Microsoft announces."
Right for once.

Microsoft introduces iPad! Uh, I mean Courier. No, wait, SURFACE.
The staggering level of innovation and vision starts from
"We control it all, we design it all, we manufacture it all ourselves."
Where the heck did they get that idea?
Minor note: The background rumbling that you heard throughout the presentation of was all of Microsofts hardware "partners" screaming. Those of them who went through the "Plays for Sure" debacle that preceded something called a Zune have seen this movie before.

I cannot wait for this next exciting chapter to begin.
I'm almost giddy with anticipation.
I just hope it's as entertaining as were the Zune, Vista, Kin, Windows Phone, Windows Tabets, Courier, and Microsoft store chapters have been.
Maybe there'll be another mock funeral.....
The possibilities are endless!

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