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Magic happens through symbols, through naming things, through declaring. It has been true in many cultures. Amen, let it be so. Abracadabra, “I create as I speak”. The icaros of Shipibo are mostly words describing what is being done and how things should be. Expressing intention is declaration of desired change. So first step to reconcilation is actually expressing wish for it to happen. It can be done through words, or through meaningful symbols, through gestures.

It is essence of Christian message, no matter how poorly executed in practice in actual history of Christianity, you can find it in its core prayer, often mindlessly repeated : “Forgive us our trespassesas we forgive those who trespass against us”.

But reconciliation is more than just forgiveness. It is peace coming out of acceptance. It is not only about relation between ourselves and others, but also between us and the world, us and our lifes, including our own mistakes, so most of all, about relation with ourselves.

What happened, happened for some reason, and to acknowledge this, doesn’t mean escaping responsibility or saying it doesn’t matter, on the contrary, it means embracing it fully as part of reality, instead of denying. I take it as it is, I accept what happened and consequences, instead of wishing it was different. The reason why I forgive those who “tresspass against me” is not to make me look good in eyes of some external entity who will then do me a favour, but because these acts – and states of forgiveness and reconciliation are connected, are feeding each other – in me, in others, in the world. I can easier forgive myself, if I am forgiven by the one, whom I done wrong. But if I don’t go through that process myself, I will never be able to fully love myself, and then reconciliation with the other can never happen. We are told, in the same tradition I quoted above, to love the other as oneself. So we do, the problem is not that many of us don’t follow this commandment, we do. The problem is that in reality we don’t love ourselves enough.

And love is not about haggling, transaction and seeing what do I receive from it, is about fearless giving first, and letting go of expectations. In the end, all these words above matter little, they are just words. Only on the other side of this act you can see the true benefits of it, so don’t reason, let go.