Having seen the movie yesterday, I wanted to write down some of my thoughts and see what you all thought too.

Spoilers, obviously.

Spoiler

I honestly don't know if I loved or hated this movie. I'm continuously torn on it. Some scenes were great, both from a visual standpoint (island shots, the throne room, the lightspeed suicide to name a few) and from a thematic one (really liked the dynamic of Luke's failure). But other parts are just plain bad (looking at you, Carrie Fisher flying through space) and completely distracting. Honestly the biggest thing that hurts the film for me here is it just feels like The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi have drastically competing directorial and thematic visions that should've been brought more in line with each other before release.

Since words are hard, I'll just do a bulleted list for the rest.

Liked:

This film is visually brilliant and stunning with it's cinematography.

Luke's shortcomings and failures are interesting. He wasn't just some paragon, perfect character.

Rey in general is coming into her own and I like her more as a character and she is easily the best of the bunch. Her Jedi outfit is also super good outside of her still dumb hairstyle.

The Rey/Kylo Force Skype calls. While kinda contrived, I think it was good to hear two characters who don't usually interact speak with one another at length.

Force projection final "fight" (I can't tell if I like or hate this, but it is a good use of showcasing Luke's power passively. I do wish, in some way, we could've seen him use a lightsaber to fight Kylo even if it was just once. But I think thematically this makes more sense.)

I am so happy that Rey is a nobody. She should be. I don't know why people want so desperately for her to be related to someone we know, but I'm glad she isn't. She needs to be great on her own, not due to some birthright. (Yes, I know one could argue that Force sensitivity alone is a birthright. But you know what I mean.)

Man that last shot on Luke's death is just beautiful. Him staring at the horizon starts and ends his journey. Just so beautiful.

Disliked:

I cannot say this enough. That Leia flying through space thing IS HOT GARBAGE. I did find the shot where she, and the rest of the crew gets sucked out to be very visually cool through although it wasn't the most "heroic" death for her which I think was the onus for walking that back with her supermanning through space.

Finn/Rose love story. Seemed completely out of place and it looks like they're setting up a love triangle thing (like Han and Luke for Leia) but with Rose and Rey this time. Which I really, really hope they don't do.

It felt like they wanted hermit Luke to be weird and quirky like Yoda was, which is fine I guess. But holy shit did they have to have him milk some weird, humanoid looking creature in front of Rey while it moans and he drinks straight from the tap? What the fuck even was this scene?

Phasma is, once again, kinda pointless.

Poe nuking like half the Rebel fleet and then being bummed he's not getting named leader in Leia's wake? Come on, bruh.

This film loves to do random, small zoom-ins with the camera for focusing. It's weird, it's distracting, and it shouldn't have made it in editing.

Some of the humor in the film is weird and out of place. (*tastes salt* "Ew, salty." ... like yeah I get it you're doing it to show that it's not Hoth but come on.)

I get that, but that doesn't need explanation. Let alone in the super weird way they did it.

What was weird about it?

This is like the "one thing" that is a nitpick that I just don't get. It's a 3 minute sequence where Luke goes and gets milk from a "sea cow" (my term), does this really cool jump over an expanse just to do some spear fishing. Honestly, I think it just goes with the whole "You're expecting 'LUKE SKYWALKER' to be doing some really cool shit on this island, aren't you? Well, surprise!" He is on a small island in the middle of the sea. Don't you wonder how he gets food and drink?

And it works!

And it leads to the one joke that I think is actually in place and works. (I did not care for the Poe/Hux stuff - the comedy should be the province of the droids - and ESB Yoda. BB-8 plugging the holes being a prime example) The "That pretty much is nowhere" response.

This is like the "one thing" that is a nitpick that I just don't get. It's a 3 minute sequence where Luke goes and gets milk from a "sea cow" (my term), does this really cool jump over an expanse just to do some spear fishing. Honestly, I think it just goes with the whole "You're expecting 'LUKE SKYWALKER' to be doing some really cool shit on this island, aren't you? Well, surprise!" He is on a small island in the middle of the sea. Don't you wonder how he gets food and drink?

And it works!

And it leads to the one joke that I think is actually in place and works. (I did not care for the Poe/Hux stuff - the comedy should be the province of the droids - and ESB Yoda. BB-8 plugging the holes being a prime example) The "That pretty much is nowhere" response.

Let me elaborate because I didn't do a good job the first time. I don't have a problem with the other routine parts like the fishing, I have a problem with the milking in particular. Now, I'm no prude, but when you show me some 10-foot version of this fucker:

Who Rian Johnson thought was important enough to have look in the camera while audibly groaning several times while getting milked by Luke (which conveniently has it's udder located in it's crotch even as a bipedal creature) who proceeds to drink it hot from the tap and get some in his beard. I'm gonna call it a little weird.

We can debate the semantics about why this was done, but shit felt super weird. And I don't feel like it was necessary to show that he wasn't starving to death on the island given the whole he's alive part. Which is why I said it felt sort of like they were aping Yoda and just making him weird because, well, Yoda was weird. I get that it's grounding as a major thematic part of the film is understanding that Luke's status as a Jedi is largely a legend. But it still felt weird and I personally felt like in my theater experience people laughed more at the implied sexual humor of it rather than the weirdness of it.

But seriously, Van, I'm curious. Did you read a lot of the extended universe? I'm curious if the people who spent a bunch of time with that stuff have had a more negative opinion of the film than others.

But seriously, Van, I'm curious. Did you read a lot of the extended universe? I'm curious if the people who spent a bunch of time with that stuff have had a more negative opinion of the film than others.

I'm definitely not a fan boy and haven't read any extended universe stuff since I was a kid (Tales from Jabba's Palace, Tales of the Bounty Hunters, Shadows of the Empire). I don't go on message boards and don't haven't read any fan theories related to Last Jedi. I'd say I fall in the 50th percentile of fans. I look forward to the movies - loved the originals; thought the prequels overall were trash.

Though derivative, I thought JJ really set the stage with Force Awakens to kickoff the new trilogy. He created a set of cool characters - both supporting and main including the Rebels and New Order all while bringing back old favorites for nostalgia/continuity sake. Then he wove in some really intriguing bits including Rey and Snoke's backstories that got me excited for the sequels. Even though RJ basically punted on those big questions, that's not really my issue with the movie. In general, I like the overall theme and thought it was a bold direction to go - 'the only way to move forward, is to let the past die.' And that ultimately the force isn't only the dominion of the Skywalkers, but lives in all of us.

Really, the problems is that Last Jedi is just a bad movie.

Bulleted list of hate:

Hux - This guy is a bad Harry Potter villain.

Phasma - Dumb.

Poe - Felt like the only reason he existed in this movie is so Laura Dern could give Poe a big middle finger for trying to mansplain space tactics to her (see comment below). Poe is to Han Solo as a sharp stick to the nuts is to eating cheesecake (but I still love Oscar Isaac).

Rose and Finn - Every scene they were in was terrible. Might be the worst sequence in any Star Wars film (save the Natalie Portman/Hayden Christensen love scenes in II). These two are the worst Star Wars characters. Couldn't tell if it was poor acting, bad chemistry. Didn't help that everything on the 'most terrible, evil weapon salesman planet' (jack-off motion) was so muddy and dark, you couldn't tell what was going on (and no, I didn't see it in 3D). These scenes ended up feeling pointless to the plot. And what the fuck Benicio Del Toro? Why did your character exist?

Pacing/Length - Just felt like there was no flow and overall the movie was much longer than it needed to be.

Leia/Mary Poppins

Opening bad conference call scene - Christ. This scene felt like it was written by one of my clients who would have thought it was the funniest thing of all time (I work at an ad agency on a big telecom brand). This scene was so embarrassing I tried to burrow my head through the concrete floor of my local cinema until it ended. Agree with Tucker - leave the humor to the aliens/robots/porgs.

Social/political commentary - Don't get me wrong, I'm as liberal as they come these days. Full SJW and Trump can eat all the dicks, but this movie was so ham-handed when it came to the political messaging. I love me some politics in movies (particularly when it aligns with my own), but not when every monologue sounds like a DM to @GOP. At some point it started distracting me from the movie.

The Good:

Kyle/Rey - Love these two. Genuine chemistry and great acting. I wanted them to force-fuck terribly. Still wondering if there would have been an interesting way to make them pair up - even for a short time on either the good or bad side. Maybe not.

Luke - Overall didn't really mind how he was handled. Made sense to me and was great to see him on-screen again. Hope he gets an appearance as a force ghost in IX.

I'm just not sure where they go from here. Know RJ is handing the reigns back to JJ, but just wish JJ would have directed the whole trilogy. I still have hopes IX will be good, but even if it is, that won't stop LJ from being a big disappointment for me.