Women With Older Husbands... Help!

I feel kinda dumb talking about this with anyone, because I do not know a lot of other women with older husbands. I'm 21, and my husband is 42. If I sicken you, then just stop reading now. My lifestyle isn't approved of by all, but I am happy with my choices so I don't really want to hear about how wrong they are. :) My husband really doesn't feel twice my age. He is fun, sweet, and energetic. Plus, I don't feel 21 anyways. It feels like we kind of meet in the middle somehow. However, there is one problem: sex. My honey has been having problems lately (if you know what I mean), and I am really starting to get bummed. We talk about it, but I just don't know what to do about it. I know he loves me, there is no question about that, but sometimes I get so insecure about other stuff. I'm afraid he's not attracted anymore because I put on more weight when I was pregnant (and I wasn't very skinny in the first place), I'm worried that I'm just not interesting. It's hard because he doesn't really feel like it's a huge deal, but I'm still young in some aspects and my hormones are going crazy. Do any other ladies know how I feel? Am I seriously alone in the world? Have any tips, advice, or just reassurance to throw my way? Thanks in advance :)

Comments (14)

Although my DH (dear husband) is ten years older than me, we are the opposite in sex drives. His is high and mine is low. So I can't help you there. I would recommend he go and see his doctor to have the "talk." His testosterone could be low which could be effecting his sex drive.

yikes.. You definitely need to talk to him and make sure he knows how you feel. I've found that nagging about it doesn't help, but make sure he knows that it's causing you some self confidence issues. I also suggest maybe talking to someone about it.. if not together, then by yourself. My husband is 13 years older and sometimes we have some droughts mostly due to exhaustion. Just figure out the root of the problem then work on it together.

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"If the early bird gets the worm, that's ok. I prefer toast and coffee."

My husband is 16 years older than me. We got married when I was 26 and he was 42.

I am 33 now he is almost 50. We used to have sex all the time, really elaborate, long sex games...Somehow, there is no more time for that after the baby. So now, when we manage to squeeze in a quicky we do it, but we both agree now, that we like our rest once the baby is finally asleep.

At some point we even agreed to do it 3x a week no matter what, but that plan hasn't really worked yet - either he is too tired or I am. But we don't make it a big dal - because we openly talk about it.

I don't think your problem has anything to do with age. My friends husband is 33 like she is and they don't have sex at all. So I think you just need to sit down and talk about it. See what's on his mind about it all.

i'm 19 and my husband is almost 30 we've had this problem a few times. is your dh (dear husband) a drinker or smoker. we descoverd that when ever mine was knocking back a couple a few times a week it really messed with his sex drive.

My DH (dear husband) is 19 years older than me. We have run into that a few times, although my sex drive ever since I got pregnant has been extremely low and he's been feeling a little neglected in that department.

He is open with me about how sometimes he just doesn't have it, though. It really is just biology. Maybe you could tell him that once in awhile you'd just like to make out, even if you're not going to go all the way. Or at least make time for some cuddling. You also might consider getting some "toys" for you two to play with.

Good luck with dealing with this. I know sometimes these conversations are not easy to have with our SO's.

My DH (dear husband) is the same age as me, but I second what others have said, it may not be the age difference, it may just be something you need to work through. We have had periods of opposite sex drives, too. We work through them. One thing we do every Valentine's Day is stop at the *ahem* Adult Store after a nice dinner (and some wine...I need the wine to even walk into those stores LOL). After I'm done giggling like a 12 year old, we pick something out. SO WORTH IT!

Word of advice, though, if you buy something, hide it well. MIL (mother-in-law) likes to spontaneously start cleaning at my house...she's never said anything, but I KNOW she saw at least one item. hehe...that'll teach her to clean in my house! :)

ave you been together a long time? I found that we had a lot more frequency the first few years, then we kind of got into a mostly on the weekends routine. Some men have a higher drive in the morning, so you may want to try switching up the time of day if it works with your schedule. I try to wake my husband up a while before the baby's usual wake up time.

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