thoughts on two

When we found out we were pregnant with P, I was totally shocked and overjoyed. At that time, I had no idea that the sesame seed growing in my belly would end up an almost 11-lb cuddlebug who would complement and magnify the smiles, love, and laughter that Liv had already brought into our lives. After the initial shock and excitement, I couldn’t help but think about how things would go with two.

Liv had always been my special buddy. While I knew I’d adore spending time with both girls, I kind of mourned the end of our time with just the three of us. I spent my pregnancy relishing time with Liv, and our mom-daughter days with just her and myself. This also made me feel guilty. (The mom guilt just never ends, right?) I knew I would love our new baby more than anything, but I felt bad for feeling so sad that my special time alone with Liv would be over. My hormones were already all over the place, and I found myself crying over a lot of things. This ended up being something that I thought about during my pregnancy. “How do you make each child feel equally loved and special when there’s one of you, and two of them?”

I’ll always remember the way she swooped in to softly hold P’s hand, lovingly gazed into her eyes, and told P she’d always protect her. (And that she’d take her to Disneyland.) Since then, they’ve had a special bond, and it’s like they’ve always been best friends. Liv is always singing to P, reading her books, and making her laugh. P is enamored with her big sis, and I can’t wait to see these two grow and play together.

Here are some of the things I’ve learned about life with two, now that we’ve been in it for almost 6 months:

-You can’t be everyone to everything, all the time. This one was hard for me to accept, but I knew (thanks to your awesome advice) that sometimes both kids will need something from you at the same time, and someone will just have to wait. Thankfully, I’ve gotten pretty good at shuffling the feeding/diaper/bathroom/bathing necessities. 😉 I used to feel overwhelmed, but now, I just prioritize and move. There’s also a subtle art to taking care of P’s necessities without making Liv’s request for a book or a hug seem unimportant. That happens a lot (especially if there’s any sibling jealousy, so I make sure to let Liv know that excited to do something with her as soon as I can. It’s also a lot easier to do things together than I thought it would be. If Liv wants to read a book, the 3 of us read together, and we’ll play dollies on the floor of Liv’s room with P rolling around next to us or singing in her bouncy chair.

-No matter how much you think you’re prepared, things are never exactly the same. We felt confident going into the newborn phase, because we already knew what to expect. While the classic sleep deprivation and constant feedings were there, we were surprised with P’s severe reflux, and we had to learn entirely new feeding strategies, sleeping ideas, and ways to make her comfortable. It was like we had to entirely re-learn how to take care of a newborn. So, just when you start to get confident about something, you may get surprised haha.

-Just like with anything else, things change, and you find your groove. Then, things change again. We got an idea of this when Liv was a baby. You get used to one thing, and then the next adventure comes along. You’re always learning and evolving, depending on what’s going on.

-I’ve always had more fun dressing Liv than dressing myself and now it is that x2. Girl clothes are so much fun. 😉

-Things get easier and better every day. Every single day seems a little bit better and easier than the day before, even when we hit little challenges along the way. Compared the newborn phase, we are definitely in the sun. 🙂

I love this post. We have our first – a 7 month old girl. Right now, in the midst of teething non sleep and 3 weeks from moving out of my parents’ house, it seems impossible we would ever have another. But I know one day, God and finances pervailing, I’d like another. So I love reading about the dynamics of your family and how everything is going!

Love seeing your littles and your tips are great! I’m glad things are turning the corner and getting a little bit easier for you. With my twins, I sometimes feel guilty when one baby gets more attention than another. I try to remind myself that it all balances out, and that I need to give each baby what she needs at that moment in time – even if it’s independence.

Real talk: motherhood is the hardest thing I’ve ever done!!! But of course well worth it 🙂

This is really encouraging! Right now my mind is always wrapped around “how can I ever do it with TWO?!” I actually have a blog post set to publish about how overwhelmed I am at the thought of managing two kids. I have a one year old now and hope to start trying later this summer/fall. I know that once I get there and said next baby is here, it will all work out and fall into place. People have been having more than one child for years! 😉 I really like this post though. So many times I hear moms say that their life was just over once they had two or three kids.

Perfect timing! I’m due in 2 1/2 weeks with #2 and I’m feeling so horrible that Eleanor’s life (22 months) will be rocked when her sibling comes along. I also feel guilty that #2 won’t have that one-on-one time that Eleanor had.

I have a 10 week old and just the thought of having two makes me crazy! I was wondering if you could do a post on the family page about what you bring for P at the beach, and what your set up looks like? Does she stay in the shade? Do you use sunscreen? What equipment do you bring? Etc. etc. We are going on a beach vacation in July and my girl will be 5 months at the time, and it will be completely new for me, so feeling a bit lost on how to prepare.

it’s because you have a 10 week old! when babies are that little i feel like it’s going to be impossible forever haha. and then it gets way easier 🙂
when we go to the beach, p stays in the shade almost the whole time. we’ll take her out to see the water for a few minutes then back into the shade because her skin is so fair. we don’t put sunscreen on her (i’ve read you should wait till 6 months) but she wears a hat
i would definitely get a large sportbrella or pop-up! we hang out under there. it’s pretty hot in july too so i’d recommend a clip-on fan, a couple of lounge chairs, a super large towel or blanket and you’ll be set. p is pretty happy under the sportbrella with some toys, hanging out 🙂 these look cool too to put under the pop up! http://www.amazon.com/KidCo-Portable-Activity-Station-Pistachio/dp/B00477ND0Q/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1461192985&sr=1-1&keywords=portable+jumper

I know that if/when I get pregnant again, I’m going to be an emotional wreck. Just thinking about it gives me huge feelings of guilt. My 4 yr old is my whole world and he is such a little mama’s boy. I don’t want our bond to be broken in any way.
I realize this is ridiculous and it would all work out, but the feeling of guilt is SO strong. This post makes me feel a tiny bit better about it. 🙂
Your girls are just beautiful!

yeah it’s a tough one, and i cried so much about it. it’s also totally normal. so many friends said they felt the same way! the good news is that things are even better, and when we do have time just the two of us, it’s extra special 🙂

Such a sweet post and I love (and need) all the advice! My son is Livs age and I’m due with twin girls soon….I literally cry every day! You make me feel like “I got this” so thank you and so happy things are going so well with you all
P.s. I got P’s flamingo bathing suit for my shower for the girls and cannot wait to put it on them….cutest thing EVER!!!!!

Try going from 2 to 4! I had 2 gorgeous girls & went for no 3 & got identical twin girls! The first 2 had been easy feeders – the twins had silent reflux & failure to thrive. And there was only 3 years between no 2 & the twins so I had 4 under 5 – it almost killed me. My eldest who is 11.5 has ADHD/ODD/Anxiety & the sibling rivalry for my attention is pretty tiring. The twins are 6.5 and are still challenging to manage Everyday – I so wish we lived near family sometimes as we are Australian expatriates in Singapore. We’ll see how we go this summer – we are taking all our girls on a 6 week tour of Europe (my husband’s from the UK) England, France, Italy (we got married there), Germany, Amsterdam (we met there) it’s either going to kill us or make us stronger but either way making precious family memories before our oldest starts high school next year

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Hi, gorgeous! I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to The Fitnessista, a healthy lifestyle blog emphasizing quick workouts, quick recipes and adventures as a wife and mom. Though I am a certified personal trainer, group fitness instructor and weight loss specialist, the information posted here is not intended to substitute the advice of a medical professional. Please check out the About page for more info. Thank you for reading! <3