If time allows this year, and your assistant is always freezing, you may want to consider a gift from Barefoot Dreams — this poncho avoids the “will it fit” question, and allows easy typing and more. It’s $88 at Nordstrom.

Of course, you can always go with my friend’s system of flowers and cash — as she explained it, she got the floweres so everyone in the office knows you appreciate your assistant, and cash to keep the assistant happy.

Ladies, let’s talk: do you work with an administrative professional? Are you getting him or her a gift this year? (Does anyone have any good tips on how to avoid the “office housework” issue of the junior woman often being the one saddled with organizing a group gift to a shared assistant?)

Do you socialize with your assistant or secretary? Do you consider him or her to be among your work friends? Or do you keep your relationship with staffers friendly but avoid turning it into an actual friendship? If the relationship has swung too far towards “friendship,” how do you bring it back to “collegial”? Reader N wonders…

How do you reformalize a working relationship with your secretary? I work in law and I have been cognizant about not talking down to my secretary, who is also a young female. I have noticed recently she has interpreted this to mean we are “friends,” which is fine. Recently, she has seemed to step up her attitude, and does not make requests of me politely. I don’t want my niceness mistaken for passiveness or that she does not need to respect me the way she does others who were not as nice.

Hmmmn… tough question, Reader N! With Administrative Professionals Day observed this Wednesday it’s a good time to revisit the issue. In general, I think it’s fine to be friendly with staffers and other subordinates, but the closer the relationship gets, the more complicated it gets. One reader wrote to us a while ago where she was the only female lawyer, and the group of female secretaries was being very welcoming — in that case, where she already had an uphill battle to be/feel accepted with the other lawyers, I think she was right to keep her distance. Outside of that circumstance, friendship with subordinates can also be complicated because if the assistant screws up, needs redirection or criticism, or just generally needs firmer deadlines and oversight, all of that is easier to do with an arm’s length, professional relationship, without adding more intense emotions of doubt and betrayal (“but I thought we were friends” / “why is my friend betraying me”). (We had a great discussion on whether a boss should be respected vs. liked just last year.)

As to reader N’s question, how can you bring an office friendship with an assistant back to a collegial relationship? I’m curious to hear what the readers say here, but I think the answer is “very carefully.” My $.02 tips:

For my $.02: in my BigLaw experience, this day and week paled in comparison to the year-end assistant’s gift, and a card + flowers presentation from the numerous people sharing a secretary was more than fine. As we noted in our last poll, the vast majority of people gave less than $50. Don’t discount the floral/balloon display as part of the gift, though — I’ve always thought that part of this holiday is about broadcasting to the world (and your higher ups) that YES, you remembered the holiday, and YES, you are capable of ordering flowers for your assistant without his or her assistance.

Readers, how much are you spending on your administrative assistant or secretary this week (cash plus gift)? What gift are you getting him or her? In general, what kind of things do you delegate to your assistant?

As today is Administrative Assistant’s Day, I thought we’d have an open thread about what the best thing your secretary/assistant has ever done for you. We’ve talked about what you can delegate to assistants before — what DO you guys delegate? What do you look for in a great assistant?

For my own $.02, the best assistant I ever had was only mine for a short period — she was attached to a partner down the hall who had a niche practice, and when the partner moved offices, so did my secretary. But in addition to being pleasant and nice, she was really smart — I felt like I could give her anything and she would do a great job with it. I wish I could remember something specific she did that went above and beyond, but really she was just generally excellent!

Years ago, a friend explained to me that she always got her administrative assistant both flowers and cash: flowers so everyone in the office knows you appreciate your assistant, and cash to keep the assistant happy. My friend’s system made sense to me, so I never really looked for more than flowers — but I’m curious if other people get the assistant a personalized gift, or take him or her for lunch, or something else? Please comment in the thread about what you’re getting him or her — and how the equation changes if you share an assistant with other people.

Also, do you plan to celebrate Administrative Assistant’s Day or a full week? Just curious…