Four possibilities to replace John Boehner

The smart money says John Boehner will almost certainly be re-elected speaker of the House Thursday.

That’s not to say he’s done such an outstanding job. But there doesn’t seem to be a credible candidate willing to challenge him.

Nonetheless, some activists have confidently declared the votes are there to oust Boehner; that someone else — though it’s not clear who — will emerge and win the speakership.

And if this savior is not to be found in the House, he or she will be found outside of it. Nothing says the speaker of the House has to be an elected member of the House, after all.

In the unlikely chance that a consensus emerges to boot Boehner on Thursday, The Daily Caller has dutifully come up with a list of possible candidates to lead the GOP in the House in the 113th Congress.

The Soup Nazi

If House Republicans are looking for someone who won’t cave to President Barak Obama, the Soup Nazi from “Seinfeld” is their man.

First, his soups are irresistible. Think about it for a moment. Be strategic. If he were to bring a soup to the White House in his first meeting with the president and then refuse to provide more unless the president agreed to concessions, could the GOP not make some serious gains?

Additionally, he is a man of tradition — not necessarily Burkean, but more “Fiddler on the Roof.” In his soup shop, he is the master. He wants things the way he wants things. And if people don’t follow his rules, he throws them out. He sometimes even bans them for life.

Might not this man of order throw President Obama out of his own Oval Office if he feels Obama has not upheld the standards he expects of a president? I know it sounds unlikely, even implausible, but then again, so do many things before they happen. Who expected the Arab Spring? Did anyone predict the sudden success of Jeremy Lin? Who thought a guy like Ed Schultz would not only not be homeless, but host his own TV show?

I’m just saying. The Soup Nazi may be a legendary speaker — if the House GOP caucus will just give him a chance.

Watch the Soup Nazi work his genius:

Bob Ryan

What if I were to tell you the Republicans could get a legendary Hollywood dealmaker to represent them in the House? Now would that be something you might be interested in?

I thought so. Look, let’s talk straight: Ryan has downsides, no question. For starters, he’s not a real person — he’s a fictional character from the TV show “Entourage.”

However, there is nothing that says the speaker of the House has to be a real person. Nothing. And while Ryan often appeared grossly incompetent on the show, after being humiliated, he ultimately got the last laugh.

Perhaps he would help the GOP last laugh in its negotiations with Obama.