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11 reasons as to why people should date

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1. I’m adorable af• Look at this shit. You seen anything cuter? No you haven’t. Maybe an adorable ass koala or Neil Patrick Harris’s kids, but fuck you that’s the only thing cuter than me.

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2. I have fashion sense like fucking Lord Disick• You’ll look great next to me, especially if you know how to dress yo’ self. If you don’t, then gtfo.Ever wonder if your shoes really match your dress? Bitch I gotchu.

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3. I’ll be straight up wit chu• Ever wonder if yo jeans actually make you look fat? I’ll tell you straight up if they do.Honesty, bitch.

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4. I’m hilarious af• I can make you laugh all day. If you at least not laughing at this powerpoint, then fuck you you have no sense of humor.• I tell great puns. Bitches love puns. Here’s an example: r u a beaver cuz dam.• That was hilarious as fuck, admit it.

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6. I’ll respect you and shit• Feminism, bitch. I respect that shit. I’ll let you make decisions and stuff, and won’t disrespect you by making stupid as hell woman jokes.• Women are not jokes. They’re the future, dawg.• I’ll make my own damn sandwich

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7. I’ll do cute stuff with you• Wanna cuddle and watch movies? I’m down with that shit. Pick a movie gurl. I’ll even watch that stupid af twilight shit with you.• Wanna go on a picnic or do some fun hipster shit? I’ll do that with you. Fuck, I’ll even pay for everything you want.

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8. I’m not afraid of the public• That means I don’t mind making a fool out of myself if it gets your bitch ass to smile.• I’ll fucking sing a love song to you in Times Square. And I can’t even fucking sing. Maybe a little though.

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9. I have good taste in shit• Music? Black Keys bitch. Two Door Cinema Club, Of Monsters and Men, Beirut, The Smiths. All that good shit.• Movies? Wes Anderson, dawg. James Bond, Monty Python, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Independent movies are my shit yo’.• Books? You like Animal Farm? Well I fucking do. John Green yo’. Fucking poetry. I write it. Perks of Being a Wallflower? Shit made me cry. Fight Club? Yeah I read it, and yeah I fucking loved it.

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10. I’ll support you• I’m self-conscious as fuck. You have body issues? I’ll help you with that shit. You suffer from depression, eating disorders, etc? I’ll be there for motivational support every step of the way, gurl.• Worst thing you can say is “get over it”. We’ll be a team. I help you, you help me. No selfishness in this shit. Equality, dawg.

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11. Because fuck you that’s why• If this powerpoint hasn’t convinced you that I’m the perfect person to date, then that’s okay. Over a billion people in the world dawg, we’ll all find someone eventually.• But forreal, if this powerpoint convinced you to date me, then let’s go gurl. First act of business is a road trip.• Yeah, I’m spontaneous as fuck. You like dat? Yeah, I thought you would. Peace out girl scouts.