It began with a few hotel guests calling the lobby to complain about loud country music and ended in a bloody massacre with at least fifty dead and more than 500 wounded.
"Unfortunately, it took automated weapons and fifty lives to put an end to the intolerable country music," said Blake Gibbons of Los Angeles, who was staying at the hotel where the shooting broke out. … [Read more...]

After agreeing to spend billions of dollars on weapons, Muslim Saudi aristocrats were treated to a rare sampling of Donald Trump's legendary sense of humor when they were told that Trump's Muslim ban was "just a joke."
"It was the funniest joke I have ever heard," a Saudi prince told an AP reporter. "And my wife thinks so too, but she's not allowed to say anything" the … [Read more...]

"I don't want to be sexually harassed, but I want others to want to sexually harass me" - Greta Van Susteren (not the pretty one)
You probably heard by now, Greta Van Susteren is leaving Fox News. To be clear, since there are two Fox News hosts leaving, a Greta and a Gretchen, do you know Greta from Gretchen?
"I hated hearing, 'Gretchen, you know, the pretty host'" … [Read more...]

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Affirmative Action Quotas No Longer in Doubt After decades of “whitespeak” (Anglo-centric linguistics), the Scripps National Spelling Bee was forced by a federal judge last month to source 50% of its competition words from Urban Dictionary, a user-generated online dictionary that is considered a modern, multicultural reference for language. The ACLU lawsuit is one of…

Did you ever go through an embarrassing case of a lockout from your car or home, possibly very late at night, while you were intoxicated or not in the best shape of your life, to say the least? It has happened to most of us, and it will continue to happen as long as we…

Jim Davis, a 38 year old black man from Albany, NY was allegedly abducted and beaten by aliens sometime early Saturday morning. The aliens beat Mr. Davis with highly sophisticated techniques that have local police “in awe” and crime reviewers swooning. According to a police report filed the next day, the aliens beat Davis with…