When it comes to interviews, George Lucas is like that dad who never says anything too out of line, but leaves you pissed off and checking for emotional and totally unnecessary welts. In a new interview with the Times Online, he discusses Indiana Jones 5 and takes more shots at Crystal Skull and Steven Spielberg…

“If I can come up with another idea that they like, we’ll do another. Really, with the last one, Steven wasn’t that enthusiastic. I was trying to persuade him. But now Steve is more amenable to doing another one. Yet we still have the issues about the direction we’d like to take. I’m in the future; Steven’s in the past. He’s trying to drag it back to the way they were, I’m trying to push it to a whole different place. So, still we have a sort of tension. This recent one came out of that. It’s kind of a hybrid of our own two ideas, so we’ll see where we are able to take the next one.”

Great. Read the above quote and imagine he’s weighing out whether to take a shit before he leaves Spielberg’s manse. It’s no different. Moreover, it turns out that Spielberg and Harrison Ford aren’t avatars, and they are simply too rich and powerful…

“Indiana Jones only becomes complicated when you have another two people saying ‘I want it this way’ and ‘I want it that way’, whereas, when I first did Jones, I just said, ‘We’ll do it this way’ — and that was much easier. But now I have to accommodate everybody, because they are all big, successful guys, too, so it’s a little hard on a practical level.”

Painful. Maybe he should hire Phil Jackson as a consultant? Lucas says he looms over a realm called the “father’s world,” whereas his empire’s video games, merch and books are the “son’s world.” As for the fans and bloggers? We are the “holy ghost”—now you know—and Lucas says we can “go our own way.” Fleetwood Mactastic. Outside of more Star Wars and Indiana Jones, Lucas still aspires to make those personal films. This is probably my fave Lucas quote of all time…

“I can’t say yet, but [my next films will] be personal. In fact, I’d sooner just make them and not even release them, just put them on the shelf, like ships in a bottle — ‘Oh, look, let me show you my collection.’ Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Films are a very expensive hobby. And you have to get people to want to go and see them.”