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Bad night tonight. All started thanks to my bank fucking up again and not letting me access my funds after banking hours (both ATM and debit) for the second night in a row. I talked to them today about it and they just said sorry bank system "glitch". So of course it happens tonight when I've got $200 worth of groceries at the check-out which I had to leave there. So panic sets in because my wife needed groceries to bake my daughters birthday cupcakes for school tomorrow. We scrap up some cash and I miss the exit on the way to get it at another store. Wife is livid....were basically separated and she is so done with any love or syth b pathy for me so she jumps all over me for this. Then of course when she asks if we have cooking oil at home I guess wrong and am sent back out after that tonight. I feel like I'm having a huge breakdown in my ability to cope..even for basic shit like this. Lonely, panicked and just out of control. Almost made one of those emergency calls to my therapist but writg this rant seems to have calmed me down. No wonder my wife can't stand me.

You gotta go shove a pole up that bank's ass, dude! That's total fucking bullshit!!

And it's NOT your fault. If your wife "hates you" because your bank fucks up, your wife has some other issues.

But, that bank shit is bullshit; you have enough stress as it is, don't let them get away with it. Empower yourself.

It's baffling how he decided to go after me. Upon first contact he instantly said I had messed with his sister and that he wanted to fuck me up.

So was this a pure stranger who mistook you for some guy who messed with his sister or did you actually know this guy?

Either way, you probably will feel better if you try to do something about it. Report it.

sentient - I'm sorry you had a shit day. I was told early on by a bunch of folks, -here and IRL probably you too) that it's a process and you are going to have good days and bad and that you can't beat yourself up too much. So easy for me to say - I barely held it together today myself. I moved my direct deposit for my pay to my new checking account and email my soon-to-be X. I told him I put my entire salary back into our joint account and kept the sales comp - yeah it was more then the biweekly pay, but I got rent and bills to pay now and I've taken very very little out of our joint account. I received an email back that he was "not pleased by this announcement". That "we need to trust each other. " What? Trust? You already don't trust me, why would me taking my income further your lack of trust in me? Yeah I know, someone is feeling out of control and trying to control. Why do men feel like they need to control me? Am I THAT untrustworthy - don't answer that.

The messing with his sister was just a ruse to get me confused. I have never before seen any of the two guys. I instantly called the police when I came home, it's amazing the things you remember whilst under distress, I was actually able to give the police the phone number I was made to dial. I'm sure the police won't do shit but at least I did my duty. Lets see if the great outdoors feels a little less hostile today. Once again, yer all wonderful people.

Allegro - you are right it's total BS and I'm prepared to really take the bank through it this morning over it. I work to damn hard earning that to have to put up with this crap. Thanks for fueling.

Dra - you are very right about bad days. I'm just waiting on the good days as I really haven't seen those yet. Yeah maybe I'm getting into that male control trap myself and need to back off some. But ill be damned if she doesn't exhibit that same kind of control push. Oh well need to move on. Rise above...sorry you're having hell too. My ex and I have mostly gone through how we split the money. I'm set as she is to have to really scale back to make it work. He should feel lucky you're talking to him about this stuff and go from there.

The messing with his sister was just a ruse to get me confused. I have never before seen any of the two guys. I instantly called the police when I came home, it's amazing the things you remember whilst under distress, I was actually able to give the police the phone number I was made to dial. I'm sure the police won't do shit but at least I did my duty. Lets see if the great outdoors feels a little less hostile today. Once again, yer all wonderful people.

You never know, sometimes they actually find these thugs. Hope so!

Because I grew up in the Detroit area and my father was from what was basically a ghetto, my father taught us Basic Street Smarts at a very young age. And those rules still hold true today. I don't imagine that Stockholm is anything that extreme, but thugs use the same process wherever they are, all over the world. Pickpockets use the same tricks all over the planet.

For instance, if somebody asks you for "change" -- they don't REALLY want change, they want you to pull out your wallet so they can steal it, without having to hit you on the head and experience the inconvenience of having to search for your wallet. Same thing with the phone: it's easier for them to make up some story to get you to pull out your phone, so they can steal your phone without having to LOOK for it. The rest of what happened to you is just to scare you, partly because that's part of their job as a thug and partly because they're probably sociopaths (probably partly the reason why they have "Thug" on their resume).

Suburbanites here in Chicago make it much easier on phone-stealing thugs because the suburbanites have their iPhones in their hands on the L or on buses all the time (and then are "SHOCKED" when a thug so easily steals it from the suburbanite's grip at a stop, the thug then disappearing out of the train and into the mass of humanity in a big city).

The other main rule of streets smarts is to be aware of your surroundings at all times (hence, no iPods, iPhones, daydreaming, etc.) Thugs choose their victims based on how distracted people are; distracted people, daydreaming people, etc., are easier targets.

So, it's far less likely that this will happen to you again because, unfortunately, you just acquired some street smarts. Without being seriously injured, thank God.

The police might pay some mind to this as my brother is quite adamant in this matter by always updating them with new stuff he finds out. Today I went to see a friend who's had a rough past. He showed me some knives, offered me advice on pepperspray and so forth. At first I thought I could use the knife to scare possible assailants away but I eventually came to my senses that it was just my post trauma fear having a go. I'm feeling rather fine nowadays, still edgy when walking outside. Hoping this PTSD shit will pass.

Good thing you came to your senses. Having a knife when attacked by some dudes can easily result in being stabbed by said knife when they overpower you and take it away. My advice (as learned from years of being bullied in high school) is to get some good running shoes.

Allegro, you're quite right about being distracted. As I was walking down the street I had no idea I was being pursued by this gang as I had my headphones in and as such didn't pay any mind to my surroundings. I suppose just seeming aware will make less of an easy target.

Fixer, I had thoughts about knives and pepperspray. Knives I really don't want to use, just a means to scare people away but as you said, should I find myself overpowered things could go way wrong. With the pepperspray I could attack the robbers but since this is a very gang heavy area, I fear of any retaliation. I just want to be left alone and be safe. I highly doubt they'd want vengeance if I managed to runaway from then as opposed to injuring them. Looking into running shoes next.

We are currently under our forth manager this calender year. To put it into perspective, our new manager has only been with the company for three months.
I always tell my coworkers that this company does horrible things to good people. It started out as a joke, but it isn't anymore. I've been there since March of 2009
and I could write a book about the ways they fuck people over.

Weeeeelp, I'm moving again. Having a nice quiet night in last night (well, as quiet as possible, given the children next suite over), drinkin' a beer and playin' computer games when all of a sudden the shouting upstairs I'd been hearing from my landlord's place spilled out into the back yard, including banging on neighbours' suite door, scuffling, and someone being shoved against the fence or outside of the house.

After arming myself with a sex whip and making sure the door was locked I called the cops, as it was most likely the dad fighting with his son. I couldn't be sure, but then I remembered Russell Peters' standup bit about East Indian dads beating their kids: "Somebody's gonna get hurt real bad".

With this knowledge in my mind I relayed what I knew to the police, tucked the sex whip up my sleeve and strolled out to the alley to smoke. As I was standing there (and trying to ignore the crazy guy who lives across the street standing in his doorway staring at me), the OTHER son rolled up to collect their doberman who had gotten loose in the chaos and was mildly menacing me, and then the cop car raced down the alley as the cops called me back and asked me to flag them down out the front of the house. Here now is a dramatic reenactment, with the old Italian drunk representing myself:

Rammstein gigs never have screens. I assume you're meant to amuse yourself with the occasional pyro burst. The only plus side was I was able to have their intro procession in my face and got a brief glance from Richard and Till. Not that much of a consolation after flying over from Ireland and the queueing.

Wow, just can't shake the sense of dread I have about the future. Nothing specific, I just know that over the course of the nest 18 months, maybe more, maybe less, I'll learn once and for all, and in the clearest way possible, what kind of world I really live in. I'm about to undertake a pretty big project. I've tried before, but I knew it was my first shot at it, and knew that I wasn't really banging on all 12 cylinders . . . so I was prepared for failure. But now that I'm really proud of everything I've put together, and know my way around as well as I'm ever probably going to, I won't be able to chalk it up to circumstance or lack of experience. If it all goes south again, there'll be no hiding that the world sucks, or I failed, or both. Will I really be able to participate on something that resembles my terms, or will I just have to tread water til I bite it? Would be happy with the former, and scared as fuck about the latter.

Will I really be able to participate on something that resembles my terms, or will I just have to tread water til I bite it? Would be happy with the former, and scared as fuck about the latter.

I can empathize with that. I have been thinking about it a lot lately too. I just really really hate the idea of settling.

But that's also where I try and think nowadays (and I know it is a bit of a cliche) just do what makes you happy. Dont measure it by 'success' or 'failure'. What does that mean anyway, if you are happy doing your best?

My parents. Always around the corner with their drama to make sure I never get *too* happy.

I really can't handle this bullshit anymore.

Apparently the drinking and abuse has started again, and now there's a studio flat in Kent involved. Welp, they wouldn't listen when I was a six year old with a packed suitcase, they ignored me when I started telling people, and they wouldn't listen to the police when she was almost killed, so I'm not getting involved anymore.

As far as I'm concerned, they are two humans I know and can be nice to for brief periods of time in exchange for money, meals out and household repairs. I had two parents growing up; a pensioner who is now dead and an Australian pop star I will be seeing on Tuesday. Lots of people have a dead parent and another they rarely see. I own my own flat, I have a successful freelance business, I have decent friends all over the world - some of whom know EVERYTHING about me and don't judge. I have a firm hold on the two long-term health conditions I was born with, and have been, seen, and done more than a lot of people my age. I've come further than many people my age, and honestly, been through less than some people my age.

To quote one of my doctors, it's just not my responsibility. Just like I told my Dad I didn't give a fuck about his cancer, so will I tell both of them that I've stopped giving a shit about this. I am free. The cycle ends here.

icklekitty - many people of told me that I'm taking too much responsibility too and that other people need to own their own behaviors. Just saying I now agree with that strategy, as hard it it might get resisting the natural urge to "own it".

Thanks for all the kind words on my family dog. I appreciate it. But this week just got worse.

Today, the retail store that I work with have announced they're cutting 50 stores (although they plan on opening 50 stores in China this year..awesome), and our store being one of the least profitable ones, we've been told that we need to attend a mandatory meeting tonight to discuss the future of the employees. So naturally this has me worried and upset about what's going to happen. Two hours later, the company my mother works for called to tell her that they're separating her from the company and that her benefits will end at midnight. So no further notice, they just basically kicked her to the curb, even though they know damn well she's going for treatments four times a week and needs these benefits for those appointments. Seriously, fuck this. Fuck Best Buy and Fuck USAA.