I like me when I'm with you

I like me when I’m with you

Lights On?

Hi.

I like you.

Okay, I’m not completely sure that’s true. What I mean to say is that I like me.

No, that’s still not right. Let me try again. Being around you makes me like myself more.

It’s not that your coolness has rubbed off on me (though I wouldn’t complain if it did); it’s just that when I’m around you I feel like I matter. You look at me like I’m the only one in the room. You listen to me like you actually care what I have to say. You talk to me like we’re equals and like I actually have something important to contribute.

It’s not just that I feel valued when I’m around you – which I do. It’s that I feel like I have something special. There must be something, at least, kind of cool about me if you’re hanging out with me, right?

I like hanging out with you, too.
I mean, I like you.
I think…?

Okay, so now I’m a bit confused. I’m good at confusing myself. I’m not sure if I’m actually attracted to you, or if I’m just attracted to the way you make me feel. Everyone likes being around others who make them feel good about themselves, right?

But what if I’m only attracted to you because you make me like myself more when I’m around you? Is that selfish? Does it mean I’m not actually into you?

I don’t think so. I really do think I like you; it’s just that it’s a bit confusing and convoluted. I’m having some trouble separating my feelings for you and my feelings for myself.

This isn’t a common occurrence for me so I’m not sure what it means. Do I like you, or do I just like the way you make me feel?

I’m split on what this means. I don’t want to use you. Plus, I should be happy with myself with or without you. On the other hand, isn’t it important to be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself? That can be a tricky place to find, so shouldn’t I hold on to it? But only if it’s fair to you.

It’s possible it’s a good sign, though. No one should be with someone who makes them feel like shit or less than what they’re worth. We should all strive to be with someone who makes us happier, with someone who pushes us to be better, to be ourselves.

But still, it’s hard for me to discern how I actually feel about you. It should not be this complicated. I feel like I should know how I feel about you. I feel like it might be a sign that I am so confused. But then I think about you and it makes me smile. But is that a smile because I fully appreciate you or because it subconsciously makes me feel good about myself.

I want to believe that I like you because of who you are. I don’t want my feelings for you to be dependent on how you make me feel about myself.

Maybe I should switch the focus to be less on me. How do I make you feel? Do you like yourself more when you’re around me? I want to make you as happy as you make me.

Born and raised in Ohio so my life mission is to escape this state. I’m obsessed with traveling and food. If all I did was travel to cities and eat I would be forever happy. I’ve basically spent all of my life in school and, since I specialize in writing and literature, I find written word to be my best mode of expression. Also, I hate to admit it, but I do kind of judge people on their music and TV interests.