Quite by chance I have fallen in with a bunch of super cool, inclusive gay men.

Men who achieve. Men who live fun, proud gay lives. Because of them I’m really enjoying my life here in NYC.

Don’t for one minute think I take any of it for granted. I know that a life like this can vanish as quickly as it appears. I’m really enjoying the opportunity to connect, feel supported and breathe.

There are many different tribes of gay men in NYC. There are so many of us here.

As usual I couldn’t stay in bed past 7.30am regardless of who is slumbering beside me. I need to get on with the day.

The apartment is being decorated so whilst the painters set up their ladders and pull down the light fittings we went for a long breakfast in the occasional sunshine. Sitting in the sun, eating scrambled egg. Reading the newspaper. Looking at the cute Saturday runners jogging by in their silky shorts.

Took subway uptown and by chance saw an old friend, an actor from my Dorian days. This is exactly why I loathe and love the Subway, you never know who you are going to bump into. Trapped in a subway car.

Anyway, we picked up his suit that needed altering and met up with the boys for lunch. Lunch from food trucks at Madison and 26th. Everyone seemed obsessed with this RAPTURE shit. I think people were half expecting it to be true. The storm clouds didn’t help.

Thankfully it didn’t happen. Or maybe it did?

My dog and Zack’s dog didn’t really connect.

Kaolin joined us in the park. He is so funny. We went shopping for shirts and other essential items for a wedding next weekend in Los Angeles. I bought a vase in ABC as a thankyou gift.

Birthday party at Vig 27. Very lively, good people. Met the sex columnist from Time Out, we bonded with over our respective health issues. We talked about gay men, how they behave. Our self-destruction. A daily fascination.

We talked about Dan Savage, he applauded Dan’s It Gets Better campaign…which, as you know, I think is a load of baloney.

It Gets Better? Better than death maybe…but not much better.

I had agreed to stay until 4 but bailed at midnight.

Stumbled, briefly, into The Eagle.

It is far too early in the year to wear white linen pants. I did anyway.

My friend Blair drove 30 miles from Wingham to take me to breakfast. We hadn’t seen each other for 20 years and pretty much picked up from where we left off. It was really wonderful to see him. He’s still married to his wife and has three kids. After breakfast we went shopping for his boy’s 18th birthday.

Blair reads my blog and told me to stop moaning so much. It was funny and heart warming..he said, “I know that’s not you..” Which is true..I have not been myself for some considerable time.

Honestly, I think that the Sex Rehab programme/experience really went to my head.

I changed in many ways after I left the show..some good…some bad. The limited fame and attention, the intoxicating buzz I had every day whilst being filmed…and then the crazed fan who I thought might love me.

With the all clear comes the ALL CLEAR!!

Blair and I wandered up the High Street. I must have chatted with 20 people of varying ages. Each of them asked what I was up to and if I was happy…some of them read this..so they knew LOADS. One of my favorite Dengate boys (rugby player) and his sweet infant stopped me outside Budgens and warmly greeted me.

I always feel so honoured to have these people in my life.

Something really has shifted.

I got caught up in something peculiarly Hollywood. I got caught up in the inconsequential periphery of the industry and the unhealthy effects and lost my way. Now I have to put that all to rest and own up to some glorious mistaken identity.

We watched a bad TV documentary about Michael Jackson last night and the various fixers and characters around him..of course I know the real players in that story and none of them were in the show. The guys who make the real money, make the real decisions. It was fascinating to see how the documentary maker had the wool pulled over his eyes..yet, it’s true that the bigger the family you belong to in LA the more likely you are to get on. SAA, AA..Scientology etc. each a legitimate family for the waifs and strays washed up on the west coast.

My legitimate family is here in Whitstable. They can and do absorb the greater part of my ego. I am sitting with Georgina at the B&B trying to repair her tumble drier. Does that seem absurd? That this makes me happy?

I missed my nephews birthday party because I was sick with this flu.

New Years Resolution Number One: Don’t write blog until I have completed a stiff walk up a steep hill.

I bought two new hats:

Congratulations to Tanya Sarne and Wendy Dagworthy..my new OBE friends.

The rain just keeps on coming. Folk are being evacuated over in Flintridge for fear of mudslides.

I paid my water bill yesterday and I asked the gentleman there if the Los Angeles County Waterworks harvest rain water. He didn’t know. He didn’t ‘think’ so. He said, after some thought, “No, we don’t harvest the rain water.”

During the worst of yesterday’s storm the trees were bent double, the rain was smacking into the house horizontally and a waterfall pounded under the drive. Perfectly normal, I might add, for Whitstable but noteworthy for Malibu.

One storm after another smashes into Southern California and will continue to do so until Friday. After the storms pass we will have a few days of glistening palm trees and clean air affording views for miles around then the black LA dust will start building up over everything all over again.

I am guessing that this winter will be very wet. Very, very wet.

Anyhow, the Democrats lost Massatusetts. It didn’t come as any great surprise. I imagine that it suits the White House as they now have a really good excuse not to do anything other than maintain the Bush status quo. Obama will have an even better excuse after the midterms when the Dems lose both houses to the Republicans and the arguments get easier. I am surprised we don’t all just start talking about terrorists again. It’s so much easier than discussing healthcare or equality for the gays.

Today Obama is ‘all up in my grill’ screaming at the banks-more hollow words from a president who sucks on the cock of the banking/insurance industries.

The problem with New Agers is that they don’t get back quickly enough. I am still waiting for the goat shelter to be built-so I can buy the goats. I am still waiting for the fencing man to get back to me and the gardeners with their plan. The only people who get back in a timely fashion are the solar guys who all want to sell $40k solar systems.

Rain Washes The Windows

Sometimes I have a waking nightmare that by buying goats and chickens and creating a kitchen garden there is something oddly Michael Jackson about me. It was just a fleeting thought..