Decoding the Facebook: Old People

Discover what your friends (old and young) are really trying to say!

Remember the good old days when Facebook was only availible to college kids and the whole point of having it was to see if you could try and hook up with the co-ed in your chemisty class? Not anymore. Now, anybody and everybody with an email address can join, including people that fondly remember the Eisenhower adminstration like it was yesterday. That's right! We're talking about old people. And they say some pretty funny sh*t on Facebook.

But we here at CRAVE have developed a useful little guide to help you discover what your friends are really trying to say via their status updates! This is DECODING THE FACEBOOK: OLD PEOPLE.

Beatrice (7 hours ago): My first Facebook post! My granddaughter tells me all my friends will see this! Now I really feel young at heart.

What they’re really trying to say: “I’m creating a fan-page for the cyst growing on my lower back.”

Mike (moments ago): 70 years ago, my Grandfather, John J. Samuelson, fought for this country and many others on the beaches of Normandy. Truly, today I am very proud to be an American.

What they’re really trying to say: “I can’t wait to get f*cking wasted with Sally and T-Bone tonight. I bet T shoves another roman candle in his ass. He’s crazy! AMERICA!!!”

Becky (yesterday): Just got back from taking Gam Gam to the zoo. What a great day with just the girls!

What they’re really trying to say: The monkeys weren’t the only things shitting their pants in the Primate House. That was a new blouse Grandma!