UConn head football coach Bob Diaco holds weekly press conferences to discuss the team's progress and shortfalls during the season. As the season closes, our writers discuss their favorite moments from the pressers. (Illustration/Alicia Fitzmaurice)

UConn football has brought its followers mostly misery this season, but one constant source of entertainment is the brain of head coach Bob Diaco. Diaco is liable to produce unbelievable quotes, the type that make you laugh but also leave you wondering, “What is he thinking?” With the season finally coming to an end last Saturday, we asked our staff: what has been the best Diaco moment?

Stephanie Sheehan, Associate Managing Editor

“You got guys on campus that are going to experience today for the very first time. I mean, you can look at it as if they’ve been here for three months, but you can look at it as also… today is the first time they’ve experienced Tuesday, October-- what is it, the 11th?-- here. Next year will be only the second time they’ve experienced a middle of October Tuesday.”

This one never hit the mainstream, but that’s only because it’s so out there and so convoluted that it takes too long to explain. To give some context to this, Diaco was talking about how the freshmen are learning and growing as opposed to the seniors, who have been here longer. I get what he was trying to go for here, but let’s be real, two major things need to be addressed: 1) There is nothing special about Tuesday, October 11th and there never will be, and 2) This has nothing to do with football! Diaco has a habit of becoming Bob the Philosopher for 3/4 of his pressers, and when he talks about football, it’s only about getting Arkeel more touches or “tactical improvements.” Diaco may be better off as a clinical psychiatrist than a football coach. He once said something about “A portion of the day needs to be specifically allocated to developing the minds of young people.” Like, seriously, come guest speak in my psych class.

Chris Hanna, Staff Writer

"I've got all kinds of ideas on networks. Let's target six-year-olds to 16-year-olds, how about that? Eventually they're going to be 18 to 35. Let's broadcast our games on Nickelodeon."

This is certainly the most creative thing Bob Diaco has brought up this season. I almost kind of get it, though: Diaco just wants to be able to connect with the next generation of football fans and was probably more than a little upset that his Civil ConFLiCT idea was a bust.

But still, broadcasting games on Nickelodeon? That’s just absurd. No six-year-old or 16-year-old, or anything in between for that matter, is going to fall in love with football, let alone UConn football, just because it's on their favorite TV channel. If Diaco wanted to talk about getting independent TV deals to boost UConn’s fan base, Nickelodeon was the last network he should've mentioned. Because c'mon...who watches Nickelodeon anymore?

Dylan Barrett, Campus Correspondent

“It’s not about the style of losing. Losing hurts. It makes you question ‘Are you doing the right thing?’ It makes you think about all the little things. And the monster under your bed that’s hiding there. And the boogey man in the closet grows.”

Diaco seems to be on the right track for this response, but then gets lost somewhere in his mind full of monsters (apparently), spirits and metaphors. It is almost refreshing to see Diaco attack a question about losing in a unique way. But with this response, fans get a glass of salt water instead of the refreshing spring water they were hoping for. (Sorry, I am not as good at metaphors as Diaco).

Diaco said this after UConn’s heavy loss against Houston in September. If the boogey man was getting larger then, it is difficult to imagine how large that creature must be now, after losing six of the following seven games. It might just break out of that closet and be the end for Diaco at UConn.

Antonio Salazar, Staff Writer

“There's a couple of things, but I think the main thing to talk about is (how) the Alfredo is made and put together and built structurally with the pasta. You make an Alfredo, you boil the pasta and you incorporate the two. Even if you incorporate the two in a pan rather than pour it into a bowl, it's still separate.”

I don’t know about you, but if Bob Diaco had a cooking show I’d watch it. To put this quote into context, Diaco is talking about President John F. Kennedy’s fettuccine alfredo recipe that was passed down to him. Diaco has all of the makings to be a good chef. He knows how to motivate and organize a team and has become accustomed to constant criticism. Diaco maybe in need of a job next year and, if he leaves the game of football, he will have plenty of options for his next career choice.