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I don't think any of the above mentioned ceremonies fits what I've seen so far

I can probably take bits of every ceremony and fit it together though

(there's one thing I'm terribly curious about - once only once - I've seen a gold melting ceremony for the thali days/weeks before the actual wedding- I thought it was pretty cool I was very young anything to do with fire was considered awesome those days
does anyone still do that? )

Yes. We have in our community the muhurtham for the melting of gold for thali is fixed beforehand at the time of fixing the muhurtham for the marriage. It is considered as having an important bearing how auspicious the wearing the Thali is for the long life as a smt. with her husband alive.

The most important aspect in marriages in the Andhra Vaishnava Brahmin community is the 'matching of horoscopes', although the family background and tradition are also looked into. It is essential that the 'gothrams' (ancestral lineages) of both the families are different. If originating from the same 'gothram', the bride and groom are not eligible for marriage. Their relationship instead becomes that of a brother and sister! In Andhra weddings it is important that the 'rishis' (sages) too must have different names. The 'rishis' were the celestial beings from whom the human race is believed to have originated. There were seven 'rishis' in all. The weddings are performed by 'purohits' or 'pujaris' (Brahmin priests) in the presence of the God of Fire or 'Agni Devta'. The 'pujari' chants Vedic mantras while conducting the marriage in all solemnity.

List of ceremonies
1. Grahapravesam : The bride enters her marital home
2. The Sari : The bride leaves for her marital home taking her trousseau with her
3. Pradhanam : The engagement / Exchange of 'Thamboolams'
4. Kalyana Rata : Fixing the first pole of the marriage 'pandaal'
5. Nalugu with Mangala Vyadham : Ritualistic oil bath for the bride and groom
6. Phalikalu Ceremony : Germination of nine grains for prosperity
7. Snathakam : Commencement of all marriage rituals
8. Kanyadanam : Giving away the bride
9. Mangalyadharanam : Tying of the sacred yellow thread
10. Thalambralu : Blessing the couple
11. Sapthapathy : Seven steps around the sacred fire
12. The traditional wedding meal : Wedding feast
13. Laja Homam : Sacrifice offered to the sacred fire
14. Nagavalli : Ceremonies to induct the bride into her household duties and display of gifts
15. Appagintalu / Vadigantu Biyyam : Bridal send off / Formal handing over of the bride to the groom BUNT WEDDINGThe Bunt community of South Kanara is neither tied to any religious custom nor bound by any Vedic ritual, but their marriages are elaborate and lavish. Bunt marriages are almost always arranged by the parents. Once the alliance is fixed the family decides what to give the bride in terms of wealth. Once this is confirmed, the astrologer picks an auspicious date for the wedding and invitations are sent out. Close family and friends are expected to attend the wedding regardless of the distance separating them! It is not unusual for almost a hundred guests to travel all the way from the USA for a Bunt wedding in Bangalore or Mangalore!

Some common surnames:Bhandary, Rai, Shetty, Adappa, Shenava

List of ceremonies
1. Nischitartham : The engagement ceremony
2. Mehendi : The henna ceremony
3. Mangalasnana : A ritual bath
4. Murthasaese : The bride and groom are blessed by their families and close friends
5. Muhurtham or Lagnam : Commencement of the wedding ceremonies
6. Dharemaipuna/Dhareyeruna : The wedding ceremony
7. Homam : Sacred fire sacrifice
8. Saptapadi : The seven steps around the sacred fire
9. Sanmana Oota & Mamiseike : Grand dinner hosted in honour of the groom
10. Reception : Post wedding celebrations VOKKALIGA WEDDINGThe Vokkaliga community of Karnataka consists of agriculturists and landowners. Many of their marriage rituals are therefore steeped in rural traditions. They have, like many other communities adapted these rural traditions to urban ones and most weddings are now performed in marriage halls. The marriages, which are still conducted in ancestral homes, however are truly interesting.

The 'Nairs' of Kerala are the only matrilineal community in the country. Under the 'marumakkathayam' system, the property rights of the joint family are vested in the female members. Marriage among the Nairs has a somewhat different meaning from marriages in other communities and is not so much a religious as a social ceremony.Temple marriages, especially at the Guruvayur Temple, are popular and inexpensive. There is no chanting of 'mantras' and the ceremony is over in a matter of minutes. It is both, touching and impressive in its simplicity.
Some common surnames:Menon, Nair, Nambiar, Pillai, Unnithan, Panniker, Kurup List of ceremonies
1. Vivaha Nischayam : Announcement of the engagement and the exchange of rings
2. Ayana : Prenuptial blessing of the bride
3. Namaskaram : The bride and groom are blessed by their elders
4. Kalyanam or Vivaham : The wedding ceremony
5.Sadya: The traditional feast hosted by the bride, served in banana leaves.
6. The Reception : Post wedding celebrations SYRIAN CHRISTIAN WEDDINGThe Syrian Christians of Kerala were originally Namboodiri Brahmins and their conversions took place during St. Thomas' visit to India about AD 46. Their Church is the Syrian Orthodox Church, the head of which is known as Catholicos and he resides in Kottayam, Kerala. Although they embraced Christianity, the Syrian Christians retained many of their Hindu customs and till date their marriage rituals follow many of the old Hindu traditions. A typical Syrian Christian wedding is an elaborate affair and is usually arranged by the elders. The bride's family makes the proposal to the groom's family.