the rupture.

something i've been trying to distill into an exact science
like that of astrology is this idea of the rupture.

so basically the experience is your energy is a bit flat
and things arent happening for you in the way they
should. reality is not responding to you as it usually
does.

then there is some kind of rupture, some interruption
of the normal state of consciousness. like say maybe
you have been hoarding semen then you have a wank
or maybe you havent been boozing and you get drunk
or maybe you havent been smoking and you get stoned
and something shifts, and things start to move again.

it is a question of recognising the point at which to let go. when holding on becomes hoarding
it's a delicate science. you have to avoid being either spendthrift or miser. anal-expulsive
or tightarse.

my latest insight is that there comes a point when you are starting to use too much energy to maintain the prohibition. then you have to break it. perhaps it can be done symbolically rather than literally. im still working it out.

if no (no to whatever) is tying up too much energy your whole system is depleted.

as a general rule, and granted im a big strong lad with a robust ego that has learned to protect myself against this sort of thing, it's probably best to avoid this sort of banter. it's what Artaud (a nutter) is talking about in this line

One of those seemingly innocent disparaging wrinklings of the nose where the whole bourgeois unconscious of the earth has inscribed the old magic force of a thought one hundred times repressed

and it's what RD Laing is talking about here

Much human behaviour can be seen as unilateral or bilateral attempts to eliminate experience

the destruction of experience. the forcible shattering of inner realities to force someone to return to an impoverished consensual reality. it's always an act of violence.

Sorry i interrupted the flow
I mentioned to you before about how i found weed can be a stifler personally, and about a bit of variety being spicy in a general way.
But i think its also a treatment strategy in clinical settings too, chemical rupture