FBI Sources Say Mueller Closing In On Secret Santa Gift

WASHINGTON— Special counsel Robert S. Mueller III is closing in on a Christmas gift for FBI Director Christopher Wray, according to sources close to the FBI’s annual Secret Santa tradition.

Robert Mueller’s highly-criticized Christmas shopping is now entering its fourth consecutive month. What gift the special counsel is considering purchasing remains unclear, though it is expected to be exactly what Christopher Wray wanted.

Appointed as special counsel to the Russia Investigation in May 2017, Mueller has been characterized as notoriously tight-lipped and vibrantly festive. “He’s approaching this holiday season like he would investigate an organized crime family,” says one Justice Department official. “Slowly gathering evidence, building a case, until he can undeniably prove what’s on Christopher Wray’s wishlist.”

This report comes just weeks after the special counsel subpoenaed Wray’s wife Helen about what he may want for Christmas. In a signed deposition, Helen Wray claimed “he’s always complaining about losing golf balls. Maybe get him some golf balls?” The office of the special counsel declined to comment on whether Mueller is buying him golf balls, though documents have revealed the FBI is also looking into “Bluetooth things, like a smart speaker or something.”

On Friday, President Trump tweeted about Mueller’s sprawling Christmas gift investigation. “Merry Mueller buys ANOTHER expensive Christmas gift with tax payer money,” The President claimed. “Meanwhile I have no Christmas gifts! Dems letting this happen! Time for Congress to buy me a big border wall!”

Christopher Wray is expected to open his gift at the FBI Christmas potluck on Wednesday.