I am a small brown bear
.... navigator, tissue-issuer, steely eyed spy,
football fan and Agony Uncle! Now that you've found me, sit back, relax, sip some tea and dunk a biscuit, and let some Bearissity into your tortured life. Ahhhh. See, better already, isn't it?

WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Beth Not-A-Bear has written to arsk abowt the scorring system that appears at the top ov my posts. OK then! I'll go throo them wun by wun, yewsin yesterday's scores as an exampol....

GILLSstands fer Gillingham football club wich me an my daddy support. Sumtimes I think he is a bit of a saydist bringing me up to support them, given our performance over the larst cuppol ov years. But mostly I enjoy going to footbol or lissnin to it in the car wiv daddy. If I write 'yes' next to GILLS it means they played. Yesterday we were beating CREWE (full naym Crewe-Scum-Town-Poo) by 3 goals to 1 but then, cos we're really nice, we let them hav a go an we lost 4-3. Hey ho. Wen we looz I hav a consolayshun choklit peanut fer each goal we let in. If we win I hav a sellybraytory banarnana. If we draw I hav wun ov each. Yesterday was a big day fer choklit peanuts.

SIMPSONSrecords whether I got to see my favrit program on telly. Der Lisa eppysodes ar the best. Sheez luvley. I also like the dog, Santa's-Littol-Helper. I've got Simpsons Monopoly an also Simpsons Top Trumps, wich I offen play wiv the other bears.

TESCOrecords whether we went to Tesco coz I like to ride in the trolly. I suspekt Mummy sneaks off to other shops too but she has a Tesco loyolty card and so she shud be loyol to Tesco, shorly? I've got wun too. Bears do loyol. I don't think humans no wat loyal means. Sum days she eevn goes to Saynsburrys. It's embarrassing.

NOSE HUG SUPRIZISITY SCOREhehehehe we bears are good at hugs and small bears are espeshally good at nose-hugs. Not-A-Bears offen appreshyate deez in the winter cos their noses get cold. But they don't expect to get them the rest of the year! This is how the nose hug game was founded. Yu sneak up on someone, then jump out an hug their nose. Then they hav to giv yu a scor out of 10 fer suprizisity. Yu hav to hav really mayd them jump to get a 10! At the end ov the day I averrage out my scor and record it heer.

DAY SCOREis my overall scor fer the day, tayking into account all the abuv scores, plus other things like... woz there thunder? (don't like it), did I get to see menny pants? wot wer the other bears are up to? etc.

5 comments:

Beth Not a Bear
said...

Dear Bob, thank you so much for explaining the scoring system. Whew, NOW I KNOW! Not what I thought it was either. I particularly like that you eat both a nanner and a choclitpenut when there is draw of the Gills games. Makes total sense - some might think you would have neither, but your way, the bear way is better.Thank goodness I now know what nose hug suprizicity is - good game! I might have to introduce that to my bear. His name is Sebastian S. Sturgis. He will be blogging with you soon I think. I am trying to teach him to type. bye for now,Beth Not A BEar

*LOL* My son Roo, read ur article about Marsupials, & ur comment about Chelsea, his favourite football team in ur entry that recount when u were lost last year. I guess the two of you will get along very well-- NOT! *LOL*

Watch footie on the internet:

Thank you for your visit. Bob's off for a dam' good frolic now:

A note on "Bear English"

Some people have written to me to say that they can't read my blogs cos ov my Bear English. We do spell some things differently, mostly phonetically. Sorry. We also say 'der' for 'the' and 'dat' for 'that'. To try to make it easier for you, I am now trying to remember to use "th" insted. But my oldest posts will stay mostly in the original Bear English.... Please "BEAR" wiv me. If you can't read me, please come back wiv a good strong cup ov tea an a choklit biskit, an try den! I mean THen!
(It's the polar bear influence, you see, because in Icelandic the 'th' sound is spelt with a 'd'.)