Category Archives: Satire

The Yale Forum on Global Warming has in interesting article titled “The Simpsons’ Take on Climate Change.” I found this amusing and the video from YouTube is above. You can read their take on things here.

While watching the video something struck me as quite funny. You can judge for yourself, but the below photos make me wonder if perhaps James Hansen and Homer Simpson were twins separated at birth? Or, perhaps Hansen was the model for Simpson? You call it.

Now that Osama bin Laden may be replacing Al Gore as the head climate change whiner he has some tips for you on how to reduce your carbon footprint.

10. Live in a cave. You don’t waste valuable resources building a house. Place a Persian carpet on the floor and you’re in solid comfort.

9. Kill lots of infidels, it reduces the world population and saves green resources.

8. Keep telling the homicide bombers about them virgins. When they blow themselves up and take out 50 other people we save on using resources and reduce the population simultaneously. It also reduces the line at the grocery store so I can go shopping faster.

7. Keep letting the rumours out about alleged Al Queda attacks at tourist spots in Europe. This keeps pollution down because everyone stays home instead of going on vacation. I can get a room easier, too, due to all the cancellations at Cannes.

6. Ride a motorcycle to jihad and save gas. They pollute less than a Toyota Prius but they’re not as comfortable. Kind of hard to bring your sheep, but we work it out.

5. Donate money to Iran to help them get the atomic bomb. This will get rid of everyone when they start World War III. There will be no one left so no one will worry about climate change. I will be safe in my cave and ready to take over in 10,000 years when the radiation dies down.

4. When shooting infidels don’t spray and pray, make every shot count. This reduces your carbon footprint because you’re saving ammunition and the resources needed to manufacture it.

3. Keep 4 or 5 wives. This saves fuel running all over Pakistan and Afghanistan looking for dates. They also keep you warm in winter so you don’t have to turn the thermostat in the cave up at night. Fall has arrived at my camp, might be a 3 wife night. Hmmm….that might be a good name for an Arabic rock group!

2. Use “natural” fertilizer in your opium field. This reduces your global footprint because you are not shipping fertilizer to your farm. The only problem is it stinks and your opium taste kind of shitty when you smoke it.

and the number one tip is…………………………………………….

1. Make one of your wives a sheep. She won’t tell, she won’t swell, she’ll be grateful as hell. When she gets old you can shoot her, have lamb chops for dinner and use the wool to knit a sweater.

I don’t know how people find this stuff, but we have the comedy winner of the month here from Creative Minority Report’s content found here titled Tiny Tim vs. Al Gore.

So Tiny Tim was the father of the global warming movement? Yeah, that fits. Make sure you at least make it to the chorus where he starts screaming “The Icecaps are meltin Oh-oh-oh-oh-OOOOOOOh!”

But you’ve got to decide who’s crazier? Tiny Tim is the obvious kind of bonkers that you see on street corners and cross the street to avoid whereas Al Gore is the more dangerous kind of looney that isn’t immediately apparent and you don’t know he’s flipped until he’s sitting in your living room eating your Chinese food and lecturing you that your freezer’s running too high.

So compare Gore’s performance with Tiny Tim’s and tell me who you think is crazier.

Yes that’s right! According to the latest alarmist hysteria global warming causes “deflation.” No, not the monetary kind (although that may be the next round of hysterics), by deflation, I mean the kind you need Viagra for. Per this article on World Net Daily.

Global warming may make the world’s inhabitants cranky and stressed, drive them crazy, give them cancer and even worsen their suffering from sexual dysfunction, according to a new government report on climate change – but the scientists say more money is needed before they can be certain.

Yes, it took at least 4 agencies to come up with this crapola, which you can read by clicking on the link in the above quote.

It gets even better. While I was looking for additional information on this topic I found this here.

Climate change brings some rather unexpected findings, and sometimes a happy outcome for some – take the male Scottish Grey Seal, for instance.

These findings show that climate change, whilst endangering many species, could also help to increase the genetic diversity of some species,” Twiss said. Scottish Seal hanky-panky, it seems, is rife.

So, if you’re a Scottish Gray Seal global warming means you’ll have a much easier time getting laid. Lucky devils.

It gets crazier, real CO2 Insanity, I also found this, from no less of a publication than Nature.

Rising temperatures look set to produce male-only offspring in the tuatara, condemning the ancient reptile species to extinction by 2085, computer modelling predicts.

So if you’re one of these lizards, it’s going to really be bad. Soon there will be no females of the species and you’ll be hanging around in Lizard Leather Bars trying to pickup that hunk next to you with tight buns in the biker chaps.

Dont’ think it’s over yet….it gets sillier yet. Here we have an article from Canadian Free Press titled “Sex Causes Global Warming.” That’s right! Now if you get laid, it’s bad for the environment!

Sex causes global warming. At least that is what the folks up at Oregon State say:

“A study by statisticians at Oregon State University concluded that in the United States, the carbon legacy and greenhouse gas impact of an extra child is almost 20 times more important than some of the other environmentally sensitive practices people might employ their entire lives – things like driving a high mileage car, recycling, or using energy-efficient appliances and light bulbs.”

“Not to be outdone by their American cousins, The London School of Economics released their “Fewer Emitter, Lower Emissions, Less Cost” report on this world shaking revelation:

“Every £4 spent on family planning over the next four decades would reduce global CO2 emissions by more than a ton, whereas a minimum of £19 would have to be spent on low-carbon technologies to achieve the same result, the research says.

In the next few decades, sex won’t even be an option if you’re busy dodging climate-change-induced hurricanes, tsunamis, floods, droughts, and other scourges of the earth. A greener sex life starts with personal choices, but there are some pretty nice side benefits too — and not just for Greenpeace’s sake. Use the following tips to get more sustainable satisfaction.

“Sustainable satisfaction”….sounds like the answer to every woman’s prayers, that her mate will “sustain” Here’s definition #5 “to keep up or keep going, as an action or process.”

Don’t believe any of it? Here’s The Goracle telling us to lay off getting laid.

I can’t about stand this anymore, I’m laughing so hard I’m about to fall out of my chair. But, here’s what has to be the oxymoron of the recent meetings on global warming in Copenhagen. Based upon all this information about sex and global warming, wouldn’t you think all these delegates to COP 15 would practice what they preach? Hell no!

Now, Copenhagen prostitutes are up in arms, saying that the council has no business meddling in their affairs. They have now offered free sex to anyone who can produce one of the offending postcards and their COP15 identity card, according to the Web site avisen.dk.

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Smilin’ Bob can’t get it up even though he’s been takin’ them little pills.

He contacted the IPCC “Love Guru” Dr. Rajendra Pachauri about it. Dr. Pachauri pointed out that it was yet another consequence of Anthropogenic Global Warming and that if he donated large sums of money to him and The Goracle his problem might go away.

He also signed Smilin’ Bob to star in his next porn flick…”Deep Climate” which is a takeoff on the latest theory that global warming causes anger. He advises he will change the plot to be that global warming causes women to be horny and run around naked.

He is afraid that there is the possibility that if anyone sees the movie they may decide global warming is a good thing, but advises they can always get the CRU to devise a chart showing the opposite, and that everyone will believe it in spite of the fact that naked women are running around all over the globe.

If that fails, they can always hire The Goracle to do some propaganda for them.