Fans of any of the Real Housewives shows know they are not officially over for a season until the Botoxed ladies sing.

Okay they don’t really sing, although you just know The Countess from the New York show and that wig-wearing Atlanta RH Kim would warble out their soul sucking songs “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” and “Tardy for the Party,” at the drop of pair of plate-sized sunglasses.

By singing I mean sniping, sneering and some screaming during the traditional season-ending Reunion Shows The Real Housewives franchise loves.

Whether or not our very own Real Housewives of Vancouver will be brought back together for some dishing, digging and disappointing behaviour is yet to be known. Messages to the rather elusive Slice network regarding a Reunion Show and the RHOV were left unanswered at press time.

So for fun let’s assume the Canadian contingent is going to follow the template set south of the border and Ronnie Seterdahl Negus, Jody Claman, Mary Zilba, Reiko MacKenzie and Christina Kiesel come back together (word on the street is they can’t stand the sight of each other) for a proper Housewives finale in five weeks time.

Those who follow the other Housewives know the reunion shows are hosted by the likeable Andy Cohen. The boyish Cohen is not only a talk show host (Watch What Happens Live) and author (Most Talkative: Stories from the Front Lines of Pop Culture), but he is the executive vice-president of development and talent at the Bravo cable network, the home to the Housewives franchise.

But RHOV is Canadian so the Reunion Show should have a Canadian host, right? Who then? Well, aside from me (oooohhh I’d love that, except of course I am allergic to any form of be-jeweled clothing), how about someone who really knows his Housewives inside and out (no, I am not talking about one of Christina’s dates).

I am talking Kyle Archibald the host of the YouTube hit The Unofficial Real Housewives of Vancouver After Show.Kyle would be perfect for this gig.

Kyle’s funny, no-holds-barred show brings him together with pals J. Cameron Barnett, Meaghan Kennedy and Lynn Van Dove for 20 or so minutes of RHOV discussion, well mostly discussion. There’s a drinking game, a contest for “Queen Bee of the Week,” and the panel decides whether or not a situation on the show was “fierce or triflin.”

I’ve watched and I have to admit I still am not quite sure what qualifies as fierce or triflin, but to be fair it doesn’t really matter when you have a panelist who admits to quitting a job to become a full-time pinata maker. Come on, that’s just funny.

“What I thought would be me sitting in front of an iPhone has grown to three camera people, lighting, sound guy, editing and all this is happening for free,” said Kyle, who added his only expense (aside from some snappy wardrobe pieces) is the $90 a week he forks over to rent lighting.

“It’s been really awesome,” said Kyle about his YouTube success (36,000 views). “I’ve been contacted by all the Housewives, except Jody.”

The After Show shoots on Thursday nights in front of a live audience. Usually that happens at Aphrodite’s Cafe and Pie Shop, which Kyle manages.

This week though in an exciting turn the show has got a sponsor and is going on the road to the Yaletown gym Body Tune.

So why Real Housewives for Kyle?

“I love watching the housewives,” said Kyle who watches all the other RH series. “I don’t have anything against these women, I don’t know them. They are just characters on TV I like to comment on.”

So what are some of those comments?

Well, according to Kyle “Mary gets it and ” Reiko has been nothing but “nice.”

“Really, why do you care who I am and what I am saying,” said Kyle. “Really Ronnie you have mansions you take float planes, you have five kids and one is special needs and you really care what I think. Really.”

As for the big blonde bombshell and man eater known as Christina, Kyle says what you see is what you get.

“Christina I have run into a couple times and she is the hottest mess I have ever seen and I love it,” said Kyle, who added she recently took home an heir to a big box building chain. According to Kyle Christina was “doing it right,” wink, wink.

And what about everyone’s favourite bleach-blonde bully Jody?

“She blocked me on Twitter, right off the hop,” said Kyle. “You know what is so funny to me, her mom Elizabeth likes me on Facebook.”

So what if Kyle (who admits to PVR’ing and watching every talk show you can think of) actually got to host a RHOV Reunion Show?

“It’s not a show about me,” said Kyle. “I am the host there to ask the questions viewers want to hear.”

So who do does Kyle think the viewers want to know the most about?

“I think they want to know about Jody and her motivation and if she knew what she was doing. They want to know why she was saying and doing those things,” said Kyle, adding he has heard through people who know the pint-sized troublemaker that it’s all an act for Miss Jody. “I kind of feel she is the only one who watched the other shows and so she brought it. She said I’ll be the villain, I’ll get the most publicity.

“Great, good for her. To me she’s the smartest out of the four of them.”

We encourage all readers to share their views on our articles and blog posts. We are committed to maintaining a lively but civil forum for discussion, so we ask you to avoid personal attacks, and please keep your comments relevant and respectful. If you encounter a comment that is abusive, click the “X” in the upper right corner of the comment box to report spam or abuse. We are using Facebook commenting. Visit our FAQ page for more information.