Men of the world: Today of the 19th Day of November, is our annual day of us. International Men’s Day is here and yet many still complain. I think the many that are complaining are those of the feminists who constantly bash men like a bad habit. Females, you need to calm your nerves in all, this part is just for the guys. And there is a message in all this: it’s just our one stinking day of being appreciated.

With all that’s going on in the world full of mostly men wrecking the shops like ill-mannered clockwork, it’s safe to say that yes, there are of us that do the manly things around the game that need and should be paying attention too. Of course, men have to step up. OF COURSE! But the question is: how?

Here in Milwaukee, my local United Methodist Men’s folks within the past year have the decision to come together to generate our ability to revive a Men’s Group. In a way to get us actively involved in our local United Methodist Churches and also among each other. In a way of evangelism, mission, and outreach. And other factors that favor men. Here is the kicker: Men’s group in churches are a gray area. It’s not like the well rounded like the women’s groups. Yes, the women outnumber the dudes 3 to 1 in about everything. But the dudes have and must hold their own! Of course, we heard about the Men being the Heads and women being the tails. But mainly folks are forgetting, not every man can’t lead!

When this international men’s day was coming up, I had to reference back 8 months ago when we were asking the same ol’ tired question around International Women’s Day: “When is International Men’s Day?” Over and over again it was a hot-button topic and still is. Men, did we forget this? For the folks who complain and piss and moan all day: did we complain?! I’m sure many will complain in the next 4 months into 2019 that when another Women’s Day comes around, there will be many more complaints about asking about a men’s day that is worldwide. Already, folks are saying “We have Father’s Day!” or “The whole month of November is for the Movember Movement to get men to think about their health……” or “the pay gap is unfair and men are just messing up to get what we think!” Ya think?! Not really close. Of course, the pay gap is unfair and unbalanced. But that’s not the reason why International Men’s Day shouldn’t exist. And plus not every MAN is a FATHER! Let’s be clear, females! Stop saying Happy Father’s Day to the men who don’t have kids! When the men have children, then you can say that!

As I was reading the think tanks via Social Media, The Guardian Newspaper out of the UK, and talk shows like Ellen today, and even The Forum on Real Resistance Radio this morning: the theme of the day was talking about International Men’s Day. Many have joked about this day occurring, but when you think about these stats from the International Men’s Day Website:

“Men face a series of health challenges that need to be addressed in order to have our communities function to their fullest potential.”

With all the other health concerns listed here: we know that the average man dies early, getting lung cancer and yes heart disease/prostate cancer/colon cancer mostly more than women. BUT…..when you talk about Men dying more of Suicides and above all else being victims of Domestic Violence! Yes ladies, men can be victims of being abused physically, mentally, financially and yes spiritually. And other bad influential beings. Now we know why the International Men’s Day has come into the light since 1999. Be advised ladies!

It’s almost in comparison like, when we have let’s say in the United Methodist Church, a day set aside for Women for Women’s Day (depending on March or May) and yet Men’s Day is set aside for mostly in June around Father’s Day. And here’s another kicker: I don’t hear any complaints about having a UMW Group and UMM Group so why are we tripping about having a day for the Men? Grow up, folks.

Men of the world: yes all of us dudes that are single, married, widowed, divorced, in life partner relationships of any kind, active in the classroom, active at work, active in the Church, active in the community of choice, active as introverts (yes I’m one of them), active in the health fields, active in business ownership, active with fraternities, active in the military/veterans groups, active in entertainment,active in politics (in a nice way) active in many other factions: continue to guide your end of the ship to get to the point of where YOU want to go.

Men of the world whom are unemployed, underemployed, underappreciated, forgotten, overlooked, beaten up, scared for life, picked on, generally attacked, disrespected, physically/mentally/spiritually and financially attacked (by both MEN and WOMEN no matter what year or timeframe), discouraged, humiliated, embarrassed, or any other feeling of disrespect or left out: I would say man up, but excuse my french: HELL NO! If you are a man that has been wronged by these words, it’s ok. If you felt this way or still feeling this way, you are NOT A PUNK! I don’t know who started this crap to think that Men aren’t supposed to feel this way (either men or women) but this crap MUST STOP WITH MEN, PERIOD! It must stop with a strong family. It must stop with a strong education. Strong jobs, strong economic values, strong health and wellness, strong community, strong neighborhoods, strong faith, and a strong structure of better endeavors that many must grasp! It must STOP! And the rebuilding begins with healing. And I don’t know that forgiveness comes in at times, even though it’s hard to forgive.

And to the men who are the Dark Horses or the Unsung Heroes. And I’m one of these also. Those whom have been undiscovered and still have some talent: the folks will know your name. But for now, keep them guessing and keep your game under wraps. Be that STILL dark horse that many (either other men and women) will stop denying you! They will regret you for not picking you to join their team and I dare say employment!

Men, even though that this International Men’s Day of 2018 is coming to a close for another year, and all have happened, what will we do for International Men’s Day 2019: The 20th Anniversary? What will we do between this International Men’s Day and the next? What will we do? We hear it from the Women that Men need to step up. I agree! But again I ask as Man: a Black man from the United States of America: what’s next to step up too? That’s the million dollar question.

Now, ladies. You may talk. But enjoy OUR International Men’s Day, gents! Between now and the next November 19th every time. But not every March, OK?!

For more info about International Men’s Day, here is their link. I would say that this should be useful around every November 19th. But it can be useful to summarize every day!

Oh yes.…….(In my Paul Bearer voice) Many of you probably had or will have a Halloween thing between now and the 31st. But of course there will be many whom have an attitude about church or the clubs being drunk might come in. However since the theme of Halloween is all about fear, and sometimes fun, we know everyday. But of course, I’m scratching my head again.

So you still hate the Church, huh?What about them clubs though?

Is #45 so far the worst president to come out of the gate?

What is up with all the culture that ain’t for the cause?

Wait a minute? Elvira is retiring?!!

Which is more fearful to Men? Commitment or Doctors?

Which is more fearful to women? I’m allow you women to answer that.

Is Halloween really that spooky holiday that most religious folks fear and with all the goblins?

What is fearful for Milwaukee: Crime, not enough jobs, or the Streetcar?

What is really fearful: no flu shots or that awareness of Movember?

Men, you know that International Men’s Month is coming up in November, right?

Just a thought in asking, I go to church every Sunday. Do you hate me?

Why do certain heels like Elias and Gulak in wrestling talk smack about the Green Bay Packers, and then lose their matches? Explain, WWE.

Will the Minnesota Vikings’ Anthony Barr be a target for a soon to be returning Aaron Rodgers? Expect that to come Vikings Fans.

How bout them Wisconsin Badgers?

Will anyone of the NBA actually “Fear The Deer” from the Bucks?

Ready to reapply for the medical insurance?

Does anyone actually care about the World Series? No offense to the Dodgers and Astros.

Which is more fearful: Breast Cancer, Domestic Violence or Bullying?

Is UW-Stout or could UW-Stout bring in a group that can start a Black Alumni Chapter?

Milwaukee, remember this Halloween Commerical? 35 years ago?

United Methodist Men, should you bring in young male folks?

For the record: you know that Halloween means “All Hallows Eve” or “Holy Evening” leading to “All Hallows Day” or “All Saint’s Day”? #HallowedMemories

For the record, why do folks DON’T trick or treat in their OWN neighborhoods?

For the record: if you are a teenager with no costume, why are you still getting candy?

For the record: why are some of the Caucasians are still black facing around Halloween?

For the record: why do those who had the moniker “White Lives Matter” had to get an attitude?

For the record: what is the fear of disconnect with one group and several seats with communication?

For the record: what is your fear (Human Resources) of not hiring people of color (mostly black) who are still waiting in the wings for a job? With degrees, experience……

For the record, what is the real deal of discrimination?

For the record, black folks we see the Cosby Shows, Family Matters, etc. But yet we somewhat complain about shows (positive ones) not being shown because of the “reality TV”. Why are we not doing the shows we want? Hello! Education!

For the record: when younger folks see all these groups – VFW, American Legion, Mason’s, Elks, Church Organizations, Alumni Boards, they have this attitude that they’ll won’t join because they’re are young or no knowledge. Or just being thrown into the fire, just because. Well does the phrase, “be the change” ring a bell? If you are a young veteran maybe you need to have a voice at the table in the American Legion or another Veterans group to address YOUR concerns and be the change. And this goes for the church, Alumni Committees, etc. If a young person comes to the table about a sermon and they are not mentioned at all then you young folks need to speak to your pastors about including you in their sermons! In 1990, my former youth group, was talking to my former pastor about his sermons. We felt at the time that the sermons weren’t reaching us. We didn’t complain, piss or moan like many do now. And we certainly, talked smack about it. We talked. And we talked the reasons why! And it was a good suggestion! So all you younger folks who feel left out, come to the table and bring your concerns in all, join the group and BE THE CHANGE! Period! Sure you might feel left out but still, be the change.

And the last thing: what was or is your costume? And your movies or traditional things for the 31st of October?

We all know that the month of October is an awareness of three concerns: Breast Cancer, Domestic Violence and Bully Awareness. Everytime we flip the calendar to the 10th month of Halloween we tend to remind ourselves that the issues and concerns of these items are still out there to be informed and also summarized. We get it. Hopefully. But in the recent acts of Sexual Assault discovered by Harvey Weinstein and many others whom did the act, many women are speaking out on the issue that many know very well. As they should. And even a black woman, Tarana Burke whom was a victim of Sexual Assault years ago formed the slogan “Me Too” 10 years ago is now continuing her message of the concerns and lessons she endured. And by the way for you Caucasian hashtaggers , you must know that the Me Too thing actually started by Tarana Burke, a black woman so don’t assumed you “just now” invented it.

Now I’m going to talk about a male’s point of view of being assaulted sexually and bullied. About three years ago, I attended my church’s Love Is event in the subject that dealth with domestic violence in relationships. One of the panelist was by the name of , from the Alma Center in Milwaukee. He was at the time gave a discussion about Domestic Violence from a Man’s Point of View. He talked about the subject called the Manbox. It was about in purpose about in certain times Men don’t get all emotional like women. Like crying. Or instead having you not cry to make sure you’re not weak. Or you have to hit women just because….When I was in the 9th grade at John Marshall High School, apparently I was in a school fight with another freshman at the time. The year was 1991 and it was in December, a week after my 15th birthday hard to believe. We were suspended for about two days since certain words were on repeat. When we were reinstated, a conversation was instilled about being ribbed on shouldn’t lead to fights. Even though that was so-called neutral, but I remember when my mother said that I was at a point where I was provoked. To the then VP of the school. So yes, I was provoked. And folks had to trip about who won the fight. So Ive been more defensive minded since my teen years which expands to this day! It seems that all this goes back to upbringings. Broken homes. The father was not at home or mother was always tripping. Or lack of self-esteem. Or when the pranks or the class clown thing will get his or hers a beat down after all the crap. Most of my MPS years I dealt with bullies. Even those on a sexual assault level that had almost gropped me back in Middle School! And the dude was “messing around.” Plus a female did that almost in the 9th grade as I was walking to class. And I’m like, no she didn’t! It seems like fun and games but it’s a freaking crime! This is not a joke. None. And for you females think it’s a joke and funny that a dude like me went through that, sorry it’s not funny. It’s not.

Why am I telling you this? Many must be like: really?! And what does all of this have to do with bulling and sexual assault? It kind of hit me: When you bully someone, it’s like sexual assault. You’re bullying someone that doesn’t want to be toyed with. Nor ribbed on. If you want that, you’re asking for trouble! Serious trouble. And you best believe that many who have been in that position, will speak out, blog it, or whatever in getting that message that it’s not cool!

If you are in high school or middle school (and I know you’ve been reading my blogs) and had this done to you, get a grown up to talk to. With all this going on with the Cyber bulling on Social Media, and the Sexting on smartphones and those that you can’t stand in a negative fashion in person, it’s time to not talk about it but also defend yourself! It’s time. Stop letting these fools and stupid dumb girls who bully you or sexually assault you to get away with murder! Men, we too have to stand up and declare that this is DEAD WRONG! Many of us Men probably had been gropped, or bullied or both at a time long ago, and many of us didn’t have answers. Now many of us whom have kids, or around kids we best believe that we have to do the protection thing more serious now.

And I should point out that there are “grown bullies” we have to deal with. Like Donald Trump. Yes I’m putting him in this. They are also called haters, racists, sextists, pacifists, all that and very evil. We have to put up with them everyday at work, church, the mall, the club, college rooms, and many other places of establishment. Even when you are looking for a job. And I know because I remember what I went through with the reaction of The Milwaukee Urban League did with me was very bully like from Betty Speed. She was indeed a bully attacking me for my content of my character and education in getting my degree from UW-Stout. Oh heck yes. So many times in Milwaukee I had to DEFEND my education from UW-Stout in a way that I have to tell the truth of what I was doing and having a balance. Manpower, Spherion, and other folks and goons both black and white all hating on a black man like me getting a college degree, by using Distance Education! Talk about being bullied.

And then when I had to go to Alumni functions for UW-Stout in Milwaukee,I felt that I need to “apologize” for not coming to the campus during my 4 years. But wait a minute: Something told me to say this. “Stephen, stop apologizing! Stop it right now. Yes you could have gone on Stout’s campus and completed your degree, but YOU opted to complete it by using Distance Education and getting it done in Milwaukee! You did it your way. Not their way!” End of story.

I know that the previous part had nothing to do with bulling or sexual assault. But partially it does matter in a sense that it will not hinder me to not fall for the “Okie Doke” that might spell Doom for me. They didn’t knew “jack squat” of my objective and goals. None. And that is so sad even in today’s era. Just like bullying.

Yep: Bullies suck! Just like those doing sexual assulting they will get caught and learn! Game over.

The 58th Inauguration of the new Administration has passed to you know who, which looked like a ghost town in Washington. But yesterday after looking at the remains, the Women’s March was like a new Tornado that swept in the bare spots that were heavily empty. I mean it was a jam packed wall to wall March and protest. In Washington, it was close to over 500,000 plus that shut the city down! Washington wasn’t the only city: New York City, LA, Seattle, Indianapolis, Chicago, Milwaukee, Boise, and Madison all had these demonstrations. Even London, Sydney, and not really thought about: Antarctica! Yes even Antarctica was in this demonstration as well.

Yeah, the March was cool. All the females from Gloria Steinem, to Janelle Monae, the Mothers of the Movement, Alicia Keys, which featured Maria Hamilton, mother of Dontre Hamilton was killed at Red Arrow Park in Milwaukee in 2014. Even men like Michael Moore, Jidenna, and Maxwell all appeared.

Like I said: that was a jammed packed event not only for empowerment, but also directed at one man: Donald Trump. The same Donald Trump whom back in 2005 had the quote “grabbing them by the p*ssy” on a well known daily entertainment TALK SHOW of Access Hollywood! And many of the females at the time had on the same shirts or jeans with messages about “Donald can grab my ****** anytime.” REALLY! Talk about Locker Room conversations. But many might know that it wasn’t all those who said it.

The turn up for the march of course went high of course. But online, the turn down of the march: MEN. As I was viewing the live feeds of the march on Facebook Live, there were men of course that were talking smack if you will about the march, there’s going to be a whole lot of sandwiches missing, back in the kitchen talk, or um some black dude on a black TV host Facebook page saying it should be stopped, and bringing up about America’s problems of overseas. WHAT!!!!

OK MEN: Settle down. It wasn’t our march. It didn’t address our concerns. And if I wanted a freaking sandwich, I’ll get it myself. Men: I’m sure we had our hatefest about this march of women hearing them roar.

But my question is: when are WE AS MEN are going to have our own march? Like for real.

When are we going to march about our concerns of immigration?

When are we going to march about our concerns of jobs and careers?

When are we going to march about our concerns of finance?

When are we going to march about our concerns of health – OOPS! Many of us are scared about going to the freaking doctor to get checked, and having the females to take over. Really? We got reproductive things too!

When are we going to march about our concerns about VOTING RIGHTS and CIVIL RIGHTS?

When are we going to march about our concerns about our Fathers, Sons, Uncles, Nephews, Grandfathers, Male Mentors that need those connections to bond? SPECIFICALLY, BLACK MEN!

CALLOUT: Hey Fraternities: All of you. BGLO (Alpha Phi Alpha, Kappa Alpha Psi, Phi Beta Sigma, Omega Psi Phi, and Iota Phi Theta), Service, and many others. What are you doing to reach out to Men, especially young males in your communities? What are you doing also to reach out to men that want to join your frats for life that want to help your cause? Not just the young crowds, but also the SEASONED VETS?

When are we going to march about our concerns about housing?

What about the MALE concerns of education? Besides that High School Diploma, job and not actually going further. Specifically with our sons, and other male relatives? Is college on the mind also?

When are we going to march about our concerns about: racism, sexism, body shaming (heck we body shame like crazy everyday), gun violence, the phobias of transgender, homosexuality, bullying in all angles, etc. Being single. Even Introverts, Ambiverts, Extroverts? Oh I know what it is: “We men don’t get all sensitive. Don’t bring that up to make us look weak.” Hate to say it, but it’s all ready out there. Females, stop laughing. And don’t go all MLK and the dream with that one line!

When are we going to march for our OWN male needs?No disrespect to the women whom feel that the equal thing should be on the table, but the fact of the matter is, when I see all these women’s meetings and seminars, or events, where are the Men’s meetings? For example: in the church there are more reps for females than males. There are female meetings but not male meetings. There are females in the church per se whom support the church in sense of programs and events, but the men don’t. Except when the men might have a their own fundraiser and a day on Father’s Day to set aside to support.

I ASK AGAIN: WHEN ARE WE: THE MEN ARE GOING TO MARCH FOR OUR CONCERNS?

If many of the Men, whom were watching the Women’s March in DC or in their Cities, did anyone of male folk actually steal some ideas?

Men, we need to get to work. Straight up. Enough about us on the things that we can’t touch, but what about the things that the women can’t touch, but we can to propel our concerns? Hmmm………..think about it.

Oh for those of us whom of the Generation X, Y and Millennials whom are 18 and up to about 45, next week we like those many before us that have to make a decision: voting in a new administration for our country. Plus maybe activating or reactivating those whom want their seats back in the Senate, House, or others. No matter how we feel about the candidates or their stance, know this: WE NEED TO VOTE! No more hiding before the keyboards or being so called conscious about not voting period. The voting games maybe somewhat “rigged” but what are we doing to “unrig” it? Other than whining and complaining everything on Social Media or our cliques. Oh yes, I just went there.

To us voters between 18-45 years old:

It’s me, Stephen. You know that blogger you’ve noticed lately?

I haven’t written a blog letter in a minute, but I feel this is the blog letter that must be written. Our generation is in Crossroads mode.We see the signs of concern. Majority of us probably will and will not vote for a cluster of reasons. But look here: if you are not voting this Election Season towards the end of this year and write some stupid remark, then you must be dumb as hell. Do you realize that our future is on the line? Majority of us don’t have the caliber of our Baby Boomer and Greatest Generation counterparts who raised us to be where we are now. Yes, we have alot to be grateful for right now, but we must not overlook the playbooks that got us here in the first place. Many of us got great degrees, owing our stuff like clockwork. Nothing wrong with that. I see that everyday. But again, we didn’t get here on our own. Many of us know that we had folks whom acted wise and gave us butt whoppings acting up pushed us to a point where we want to be.

Had a chance to talk to my 70 year old mother today and we compared contrasts about why there are those of us who know about the assasinations of MLK and others in our history books, BUT NEVER LIVED IT! She highlighted that if it weren’t for Black people in Milwaukee years ago, there wouldn’t be black folks living near the Grand Aveune Mall or any other part of Wisconsin Avenue. And it seems that about the Millennials: the act of not acknowledging about the past before them and keeping it current is not right. If you are a Millennial and only will vote for the locals and not national is not a good idea. If you are a Gen Y that stated on Social Media that you will not vote: that is inexcusable! And if you a Gen Xer who would think that Daffy Duck, Casper the Ghost, Jesus Christ, Lion-O, Cobra Commander, Optimus Prime, Megatron, or Mickey Mouse would make the cut on your ballot, CLUELESS! That will get no play. NONE. And the thing is it’s like we don’t no part of this.

This also probably have ties to slavery in some ways that the way of thinking of back then, translates to now. Yeah I said it! I know some of you probably don’t want to hear that, but guess what: It’s part of the painful truth like White Supremacy. And we in the black community know it.

Remember when Cory Booker talked about of the Gen X’ers being on third base after all being drunk and happy like we don’t see the real reasons why we can’t have all this goodies that many of our folks fought hard to get! And I don’t give a care how educated we are. Yeah we got those degrees hanged up on our walls and offices. But many of US aren’t educated to give back to our Alumni functions for scholarships! Hmmmmm…Oh you think I ruffled the feathers? I told the truth!

Many of us aren’t “educated enough” to go to the doctor, and yes ladies I know it’s “Movember” in which men have to be on our game when our health is on the line. But here’s my question, isn’t every month a Movember?! Whereas the every month is Aids, Cancer, Diabetes Prevention, Domestic Violence Awareness, Gun Violence Awareness, and any other Awareness on the calendar? Tell me I’m wrong! Not just men, but also women and children.

I need to see a “VOTING AWARENESS” Month. And it doesn’t matter whom is on the ballot, I just want to Vote Up!

I want to see a “CAREER AWARENESS” Month in which many of us whom are unemployed and underemployed that want to work and make a freaking LIVING! Many of us or some of us got that drive, but not actually executing it to the next level.

If we can have THOSE AWARENESS Months like Cancer, Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Childhood Health, Bullying, Gun Violence Awareness and any other awareness that we put up each month, I want to see a Career Awareness and a Voting Awareness month. I suppose you guys like that, huh?

For voting: I think we’re just not engaged. I think the sign came at the top of the year that 2016 will be a “Hard Election” in which the main Administration of the Obamas will be going out in January 2017. And yes, every single hater on the planet will be waving that goodbye flag in a racist manner. President Barack Obama will be deeply missed that he wasn’t that bad after all. Maybe there were those that should have given him more credit of the work he did. Maybe those so-called fools who decided to go against all the calls that Obama did try to bring out should have worked. Even fully try to decide the best course for the Afforable Care Act. In which like Black Lives Matter is working. That’s right I said it!

What does it all mean, you ask? Well yes we’ve made some great strides, but the work IS STILL NOT DONE! That means we have to work hard, do our jobs everyday, give back, fight the forces of racism, sexism, shaming, and any other ISM that is on our target list. For us black folks, we have to always work twice as hard. That will never change no matter who is in office. Enough of us being all so-called conscious after looking at Hidden Colors. Enough of all the mess. Enough of the “I gotta go get my hair done than voting” talk. If we can stand in line to get that new IPhone or at the club looking at Lil’ Boosie, can we stand in line to vote on November 8th and EVERY SINGLE ELECTION DAY AFTER THAT?!

The elders will be leaving us soon and they have already solidified the future, but it’s mainly up to us to take care of the things we have to do to extend the life of groups, organizations, churches, your business connections, the schools, colleges, Alumni Associations, and others. It’s not just the next four years, it’s the four after that. And so on.

So: GenX, Gen Y and Millennials: STOP BEING SO F-ING LAZY! Stop this being that “this won’t effect me”. Oh it will. After Election Day is done, don’t even think about complaining on Facebook, your texing buddies, or any other connection that you weren’t the ones who went to the polls and didn’t cast a ballot. I’ve been voting for 20 years out of my life and I voted in boring elections, high elections, and elections I never really cared about. Plus when Obama was being elected for the first time. But I still voted regardless and I don’t have a complaint to do it!

So why in THE HELL are we tripping? STOP THE PAIN! STOP THE LAZINESS! And just put away all this mess that voting that won’t make it. It will make it, but you have to put in the WORK! I don’t care if you hate Hillary’s guts or like her ideas, or despise the effect of Donald Trump and what he recently said about nasty women, the disabled, getting the clues of turning back the clock with Jim Crow, and the on going talk about the 1994 Crime Bill that BILL CLINTON put into effect way back. Hillary had nothing to do with that. Let’s be clear on this. Now add that to the radio or websites.

This is not a reality show, nor back in High School where you used to believe EVERYTHING! But in reality, when leaving High School and those rumors, will be addressed and debunked personally.