Eq,ual to the Oooaeloa. He was late, and he was not altogether aa he should have bees. He saw by the light in tbe window that sbe was waiting for bim, and be trembled, well (mowing that be merited severe rebuke. As be entered the room she began : ' This is a nice time of ? ' ' My dear, he interrupted, ' yon can t tell me what I was — (Me) — thinking of jnst now. Rather, what you reminded me of as I came in. The lamp on thn table and yon sittiug joloso to it. ' Yon and the lamp reminded me of the philosophy of which Matthew Arnold is the 'poetle — you and the lamp — see ?' . ?' 'So, I don't see. This it a nice ? ' 'VWell-^hic)— I will show yea. Matthew Arnold is toe 'pustle of eweetnees *nd light. Well, you and the. lamp fill the bill — sweetness and light. The lamp te the light end you are *b'fl sweetness.' ??'.'.You foolish fellow,' said she. with a smile ; ' what are you standing there for 1 Let me help yon off. with yonr coat.'

Wise ar]d Otherwise. Life without kughWis a dreary blank.- :. - Definition of woman — A figure of speech. Few love to hear the sins they love to act. The highest trees have most pointed leaves. ? The man who is hopeless of a home is a ruined man. Is it correct to speak of a sick lawyer as an ill legal man P Life is too short for attempts or pretences that end in nothing. 'AM men are not ^dineless, *ut Borne are home less than others. The thread of a silkworm is one thousandth of an inch in diameter. A dentist is said to be a man who 'spares no pains' to do his work well, v There is not so much failure to be charged to 'poor luct^ to-|*f ^^ When a young man wishes to protect a young lady he naturally puts his armour round her. - — ^ j?; JtfjjaJc ilxc tiotIJ famB8Hy*?n*iiW)i face with an equal manly sympathy for the great and the small. ' iWienever you meet a man who says that honesty does not pay, be sure that he has never tried it. Patient: 'Doctor, let me know ''the worst.' Doctor ...

To Color Flowers. Few people know what an extraordinary ef fect amnvmia has on flowers. You can try it with an ordinary smelling bottle. Blue and pnrple flowers turn green, red turn black, and white generally yellow. The effect is very enrious if you try the vapour on any flower which combines in itself several colours. .The flowers, if placed in pure water, will retain their . new color .for some hours, and thtp gradually return to their old one. ? Actor flowers, in a state of Nature inodorous, acquire a pleasant perfume under ammonia.

JDiBtrioVllOMt. 'u Wedrmoa*;: May 18, 1898. Before hie Honor Jsd» Backhouse. tVTfvffcKN^^ *^ Tins tiA*TM :M3k* *P 8. BUftL-9^ l . gres tbajtl ^^Jlanfflr face since the lftBb ' litting of ih6.oourtH The band of death has tsksn from tts Mr. -Patriot Hurley. He was «n excellent townsman, *»o ASb attention to all matters connected with -the ooBrtsdeserres the highest commendation. I take this oppor tunity of paying my tribute of respect to hi» memory, and I shall long miae thB cheery welcome he always gave ma when I came to. Oampbtdltatvn..

, Eleven tfortgages on a Cow. ,' There is a man in New South Wales who knows bow to mortgage cows. He is a farmer, and recently an agent called upon him for tbe payment of a note secured by mort gage. Tbe farmer was obdurate, and gave little bope of ever bring able to pay. Finaljy the agent said : ' Well, I shall have to take tbe eleven cows named in the mortgage, then.' .*. ?' Oh, no, you haven't cot a mortgage on sleven cows on this farm,' said the farmer. ' Why, yes I have,'1 and the agent pulled 3Ut a copy of the mortgage and read as fol lows : ' One red and white cow, one cow spot ted red aod white, one red cow with white spots, 'one cow with wbite spots On foreheafli me red eon with two white hind f.eet, ^otje. white cow with red spots on side, one wh'tbe itid red cow, one red cow with two white jjo|j| Feet, one white cow with red spots on slioiji iere, one red cow with white spots on hijfs, -ns wbite cow spotted with red. Now, what 3o you say to that ?' he asked. i The old fa...

'Crfoketew* Concert. The annual. concert of the Campbelltown Cricket Club erentuated co Friday evening last, and proved a brilliant success. The at tmnflp nne ma food, though _JM-j-.,so..»-unj«»pns as one could nave wished, , The social which followed was liberally patronised, so that th-. financial result of tho evening's entertainment' should be satisfaotory. Regarding the pro gramme gone through at the concert, too much cannot be said in praiBe. It was the best the people, of Campbolltoivh hare had the pleasure of listening to for a long time, and tho pro moters, therefore, are to be highly congratu lated on the result of their efforts. The first item was a pianoforte selection by MiSB Bur sill, whose treatment of tbe number proved that she is a musician of considerable ability. She was attentively listened to and loudly applauded on concluding. In opening the second part. Miss Bursill again played, and was equally successful. Miss Johnson, who is tbe posses sor of a £ne contralt...

Vum&amp;otaxing Milk. Mb. W. J. Cook, of Chicago, says be can rrake artificial milk. He does this by means of a combination of chemicals. Tbe product is laid to look like milk, to taste like it, and to have the nutritive qualities nf the genuine article. Besides penetrating the mysteries ol the lacteal fluid, which has for so many cen turies nurtured man in the infant stage, Mr. Cook further makes the startling statement that oow« were never intended by tbe divioe economy to be milk producers., but merely beasts of burden. He experimented with two glasses of milk. In one was tbe natural staple, and the other contained the composi tion. . They were permitted to stand in Ap.Jae box, and were produced after. a stipulated tiip^l It was found, that tbe artificJipl milk IiadUvio^j the smcfutit of cream on its surface thin. thaV having been produced by natural means. . „, :

Lamm's Variety Company. Oh Wednesday last Mr. Wm. Larmour, who is well and favorably known in theatrical circles, brought a variety company to Camp belltown, and in tha evening an entertainrrent was given in the Town Hall to an audience which was most appreciative and which was satisfactory as regards numbers. Tbe perform ance given was in every way excellent and such as to delight those who attended. Tke1 first part (obairs) served to introduce the fol lowing artists : — Messrs. W. Wallace (bones), Wai. Oottitr (tambo), Andy Martvn (inter locutor), Miss Amy Blaofcie, Miss Maud Failing, Miss Nellie Ridgway, Miss Nellie Fittlay, sod Professor fihodes {piori JBt). Th« several Joallads, comic songs, and other Wst ness contributed proved to be of a high order of merit, each number being vociferously en cored. In the second part, a conple of young Terpsichorean artistes in the Higginbotlism Sisters (Adelaide and Alice) were seen in their champion elog dance. Their movements were exceedin...

Football. ? '?.-? (By Onlooker.) On Saturday afternoon last, teams represent ing Cam den and Campbelltown tried conclu sions on -the ground of the latter, opposite tbe railway station. The visitors, having won the toss, decided to defend tbe southern goal. O'Dottoell- kicked off the ba]l from half way, and tbe local team following well on caused the oral to be kept in dangerous proximity to tlie visitors' line. During the major part of the first hdf of the game, scrums and line-oats were the order of play. Caoipbelltown suc ceeded in crossing their ^opponents' line on jree different, ifloasioos, tii!fe ihe referee de nh-pa toiffojfoJy. ? flftfflr«r short tnter ingp-:#rt^|jstpiia^.3^.m»W-m^ waj sent frflm one *ndrfif the. fieia?,to the: other, bnt although there was 00 sqore ? to the credit of either; team whea^heWbistle jdundid 'No sidu,' it could be seen thjrtfu ihe local, boys would pnlypraftice BDd do-* little train ing they wAuld be-a aiitch lor any 'team; that might wish to try...

^ Bounty Clati«is of tie Oonvea f (To ran EditobV i rl Sifli— Yonr correspondenti itr^JE: Herbof n, in dismiefiug the bounty clan'ses i)f the Oonveu tioii' Bill in your last iBSue, begins by explain iogithe operation and effect of bounties. He ?bows vary lucidly that bounti«s «re in effect proieotive. Witfa this explanation I entirely agree. Everyone must admit that a bountr fed Victorian producer haa a' strong advantage in -obrnpeling with uu unaBsiatsd N.S. Wales prdacer. Bat Mr, Herborn would have ns beljpvethftt this .stato of things will, .neces 6(ir3y result from sod continue under tbe con BliliutioJi -wibA«d«1 iu the OouTentlon Bill. I pvbose to show that this is fallacious. The ptMrigions of tbe Bill? mat ariaV to this que*t»ou ate} shortly, these. By Section 89, uniform dalles for ail 'the colonies mast be imposed within two years after tbe establishment of the: ComrooDwealtb. By Sec^ 89, before these uniform daties areimpused the Commonwealth is io return la each State the...

Girls' Birthdays. The charcter of a girl, according to tbe month she is born in, is thus given by an old astro logical prediction ; — If a girl is born in January, she will be a prudent housewife, given to melancholy, but good tempered, and fond of fine clothes. If in Febroary, an affectionate wife and ten der mother, and devoted to dress. If in March, a frivolous character, somewhat given to quarrelling, and a connoisseur in gowns and bonnets. ' If in April, inconstant, not very intelligent, bin may perhaps bo good looking and BtudiouB of fashion-plates. If in May, handsome, amiable, aod girca to style in dress. If in June, iinpelunns, will marry early, be frivolon*. and like fine clolhes. If in July, possibly handsome, bnt vtith a tulky temper and a penchant for gay attire. ?If in August, amiable and practical, likely to marry ricb, and to dress strikingly. If in September, discreet, affable, much liked, and ?-fasjiiunable dresser. If in October, pretty and coquettish, and devoted...