Sunday, May 11, 2014

30 Things Series #19: On Becoming a Parent

This series, 30 Things My Son Should Know About Me, never lets me down. It always seems to work out perfectly that the day something special crops up is also the day that a corresponding post is due. Today is Mother's Day. I've written on it before here. It seems only fitting that I write on the day I became your mother.

The very moment I became your parent I felt such a mixture of emotions: relief, bliss, terror, elation, guilt, overwhelming love.

Relief because 34 hours of labor was finally over and you and I were both safe.

Bliss because I had you.

Terror because I thought I was dying. You can read more about it here.

Elation because I had you!

Guilt because I let you down with a C-section instead of our planned peaceful homebirth in the water. You can read more about it here.

Love because I HAD YOU!

Being your parent, your mama, is a feeling I am wholly unequipped to describe. I cannot tell you how much I adore you, how in awe of you I am, how proud I am of the person you are and are becoming. I can tell you how I felt the moment you came into the world. I will spend the rest of my life trying to tell you how I feel about you and will never fully be able. Suffice it to say, for now, I love you.