The Secret of Success is a Secret

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Every once in a while, Sean Condon reasons, you should begin a
sentence with the phrase "Every once in a while". According to the
quick-witted Melbourne writer, it sounds folksy, humble and faintly
profound.

This frivolous bite of non-wisdom epitomises Condon's new book,
The Secret of Success is a Secret, a collection of pieces
collated from more than six years' worth of Good Weekend
columns.

Condon rates the period as one of "more or less continual
disruption, dissatisfaction and discontent leavened by the
occasional thrilling moment of luck or joy". Which, of course,
makes for an enjoyable read.

His three earlier books, for Lonely Planet - Sean &
David's Long Drive, Drive Thru America and My
'Dam Life - were not only laugh-out-loud funny, but also
possessed an intimately personal element. Amid all the flippancy,
you really felt like you were getting to know Condon. His
self-deprecating style is cynical without being callous.

Through articles for a broad range of publications, we've read
of his addiction to cigarettes, and have been able to enjoy
Condon's take on everything from his previous world as an
advertising agency staffer to his contemplations on Rove McManus
and Los Angeles' five-star hotels.

And, if you're like me, you would have secretly admired his life
as a freelance columnist.

An authentically hilarious writer - and, it has to be said, a
genuine smart-arse - this collection of thoughts and faux
narratives works seamlessly. And, with his column no longer a part
of the Good Weekend, it also provides a neat time
capsule.

The Secret is divided primly into chapters with such
unambiguous titles as Handy Hints, Diversions, Wise Words, and the
Arts. Other Voices, the first chapter, describes the charmed life
of the male catalogue model. Herein lies the author's most canny
attribute: something as absurd as the life of the male catalogue
model is rendered both funny and compelling.

To a male catalogue model, it's always the weekend. At night, a
male model relaxes with a hot cup of something and slips into a
Cape Portland burgundy plaid robe (item #8876). After that, Condon
writes, he'll probably stare at something for a while before going
to bed in preparation for another day "standing near a car or
collecting wood on the outskirts of a forest".

Similarly, writing in the third person, Condon manages to malign
J-Lo, prospective members of Parliament, dating services, internet
fraud, the Academy Awards, the tedium of blogs, and slapstick
comedians.

Like his previous books, The Secret is also lovingly
littered with pop culture references, a stinging dissertation on
Nicole Kidman's performance in The Hours is just the tip
of the iceberg.

Even the index is funny. Under Bono, there are subheadings of
successful and annoying. Dire heavy metal act Sepultura are
admonished for being awful. While Colin Powell is deemed a Tooheys
Blue drinker.

Some of Condon's musings, taken on their own, are quite frankly
loopy, but that's part of his charm. So when he declares that you
shouldn't be afraid to admit to yourself that you miss Beverly
Hills 90210 and often wonder what became of Dylan, Donna and Dave,
you know he's not really serious.

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1124563061882-theage.com.auhttp://www.theage.com.au/news/reviews/the-secret-of-success-is-a-secret/2005/08/27/1124563061882.htmltheage.com.auAAP2005-08-28The Secret of Success is a SecretAndrew MurfettEntertainmentBooksReviews