Throwback Thursday: Test – Are you a Batman Villain?

Do you, whether or not you’re an engineer, qualify as a Batman villain? Read on to check!

The Overview:

Back in March of 2000, the animated Batman Beyond (aka Batman of the Future) episode entitled Armory debuted. Like many TV shows set in the future, this DC Animated Universe series prematurely showed flying cars, laser guns, and living robots with empathy in the not too distant Gotham of 2019, where an elderly Bruce Wayne has recruited a troubled high school student named Terry McGinnis to take up his mantle. Like Space 1999 before it, the year’s technology was off to say the least. However, the episode provides some great conjecture about why an engineer becomes evil.

Armory begins with the main cast partying yet also speaking their jealous minds about their classmate Jared’s new stepfather. This new father figure is named Jim Tate and he is an engineer. As we all know, engineers are loaded! Jim buys Jared a car for his birthday, he has a sky rise apartment overlooking Gotham, and his wife has been given the green light to both buy and remodel whatever she likes in her new abode.

The scene then cuts to Mr. Tate’s former secretary, who has been promoted to head of HR, and she is informing him that he’s too expensive to keep. Jim begs her to reconsider and, realizing his pleas are useless, barks the following retort:

“I’ve got degrees in electronics AND engineering! They’ll have to hire two people to replace me!”

Indeed, two bachelor degrees have provided Jim Tate with the ability and knowledge to build futuristic weaponry from scratch. After being fired, Jim designs a car that can change colors, laser guns that make nearly anything go “BOOM!”, and an Iron-Man like suit that the Gotham press brand with the moniker Armory. He needs money to keep up with his new wife’s demands, and the Mafia is funding him.

Thus, according to DC logic, by 2019 University programs around Earth will not let you specialize your engineering field. An engineer will simply be an engineer. On the other hand, if one enters an electronics field, then one will evidently be placed in classes where undergrads can develop top-secret weaponry. It doesn’t seem like a bad path to take (a young Val Kilmer did it in My Science Project), especially if, as predicted in a central theme throughout the Batman Beyond series, a nationwide gang of Joker imitators can’t be taken down by either the police or government.

Of course it’s all tongue-and-cheek- it’s no worse than the mechanical hats that The Mad Hatter and The Bookworm wore and inexplicably created in the original Adam West series, which could read and control minds. BUT let’s be careful bat-readers! Take the following quiz to see if you are secretly a Batman villain. Please answer “Yes” or “No” to each question and then review your answers in the key:

TEST:

Question 1: Are you an engineer or employed by a firm that hires or contracts with engineers (i.e. a Construction Firm or an Architecture Firm)?

Question 2: Has your significant other ever suggested remodeling or how she or he would want to change your apartment, condo, or house?

Question 3: Are you good with electronics?

Question 4: Do you have more than one degree?

Question 5: Has a co-worker in your department with a “lesser” position than you ever been promoted?

ANSWER KEY:

1) If you answered “Yes“: Oh, geez. This means that you have a bat-villain background. Just look out because you clearly have the knowledge to build things the common individual cannot. The Riddler could do this and it became Armory’s bread and butter after he lost his job.

If you answered “No“: Don’t worry. The only other career paths that could be considered dangerous are working in a chemical plant (The Joker), being a psychologist (Harley Quinn), selling cosmetics (Clay Face), being a librarian (The Bookworm), working in a bar or restaurant (The Penguin), or working in a circus (Killer Croc). If you are in those fields, then you’re most likely VERY evil.

2) YES: This is a really bad sign. You’ll have to immediately create a mask and design a gun or a piece of clothing that makes you near invincible. Why? You probably need stone fireplaces and golden bathtubs in your place. They’re not cheap. Banks are always a bat-villain target.

3) YES: A mafia head will find you. If he hasn’t already, then keep a lookout because he’s going to offer you big bucks for your know-how and creations. An evil moniker like The Roku is most likely in your future.

NO: Whew! Just pay attention to what’s around you. If some person in a silk suit with a fancy pencil neck tie and a fedora keeps popping up everywhere you are, then just change your daily routine. Stay safe!

4) YES: Terrible! You should have focused on two specialties in a field rather than two fields with a variety of specialties. Doing property condition assessments and environmental assessments in a geological field is a great way to go, but once your new HR head, who used to be your secretary, adds more work because of your two degrees, then your brain may shatter and lead to a conflict with Batman and maybe even his pal named Superman.

NO: You’re on the right path. You may even become Robin or Oracle or Catwoman or Huntress or Nightwing or… whoever else helped Batman.

5) YES: YOUR FIRM’S CULTURE IS OUT OF CONTROL! POWER CORRUPTS! EVERYONE WHO GETS PROMOTED WILL BECOME A VILLAIN!

NO: Thank goodness your culture is set and everyone knows his or her eternal part. The more money one gets, the more likely one is to work all day before working all night as a Bat-villain. Sleep is essential to any wonderful culture. Don’t ruin it!

If you answered “Yes” to any of the questions above, then be very careful. It shows that you have signs of the essential engineer as a Bat-villain. Cartoons never lie or exaggerate.