Mountains to Molehills: 'Coolrod'

By LOU PARISTimes-News Columnist

Friday

Dec 27, 2013 at 12:01 AM

Your Mountains to Molehills columnist asked students at Dana Elementary School to pretend to be Santa Claus, and these youngsters know plenty about the jolly old elf. More of their answers to our questions were in Wednesday's column.

Your Mountains to Molehills columnist asked students at Dana Elementary School to pretend to be Santa Claus, and these youngsters know plenty about the jolly old elf. More of their answers to our questions were in Wednesday's column.◆ What happens, Santa, when there's mistletoe over your head?“I kiss Mrs. Claus, of course,” says fifth-grader Hannah McIntyre. “What do you think I do?” Lancey Ballard says, “I kiss Rudolph or Mrs. Claus.” “I kiss Mrs. Claus,” says third-grader Machaela Lavine.◆ How do your reindeer fly?“I have magic dust I sprinkle on magic bells, and I put them on the reindeer every Christmas Eve,” says Machaela Lavine. “I attach the reindeer to my sled, and they fly me to every place in the world.” “They fly with Christmas magic,” says Hannah McIntyre, “and with the help of Christmas beliefs.” “Reindeer fly by reindeer beard magic,” explains fourth-grader John Martin. “I have magic dust that makes them fly,” says fourth-grader Megan Bumgarner. “The magic words are their names.” And when all else fails, fourth-grader Jacob Collins uses “pixy dust!”◆ Can no one other than Rudolph guide your sleigh?“It depends,” says third-grader Bryson Hoskyns, “on if they are nice. Rudolph usually shows the best leadership.” “Yes,” says fourth-grader Jonathan Ventura. “The only reindeer that can replace Rudolph is Coolrod. He has GPS.” And fourth-grader Kenyi Ortiz welcomes change. “Last year we crashed in the forest thanks to Rudolph. So, yes.” There's no need to stir up trouble among the reindeer, figures fifth-grader Yulisia Vega, who says, “No, he pulls the sleigh because his nose is bright and because he will fight with the other reindeer.”

◆ Do you really know whether I've been naughty or nice?“I have cameras all over the place,” tells Yulisia Vega, “so I can tell if you have been naughty or nice. Like the ones in the stores.” Fifth-grader Corey Simpson says Santa has a big book that tells him. “Of course,” says Corey, “now it is all electronic like an e-book.” “Sometimes,” says fifth-grader Maria Pena, “when someone is being naughty, my computer system gives me a red signal, and when someone is being nice, I get another signal. Also, when kids come over and say what they want for Christmas, I can see in their eyes if they have been nice.” “Yes,” says fourth-grader Kylie Varnadore, “because me and some of my magic jingle bells place cameras in your gingerbread houses and gingerbread people. If you don't eat them, we can always see you.” “I know,” says Bryson Hoskyns, “because I use snowglobes.”◆ Does Santa have a website?“The website,” says fifth-grader Paulina Ortiz, “is AskSanta&Elves.com.” But Bryson Hoskyns says no. “I don't use a website,” he says. “If I did, everyone would be on it, and I wouldn't get any work done.”◆ How long does it take you to travel around the world on Christmas Eve?“It takes about 12 hours,” says Bryson. “I have to get it done before you wake up. It is stressful.” “Well,” says fourth-grader Elizabeth Matthews, “it takes me about as big as I am around from all the cookies to go all around the world.” “It takes me only one night to take all the nice presents stuffed in my bag,” says fourth-grader Hannah Dunn. “A few hours, less than 10,” says a sure Paulina Ortiz.◆

Santa, how do you get down the chimney if there's a fire in the fireplace?You gotta trust Santa. “I have a special key that opens the door if I need it,” says third-grader Marisela Rodriguez. “Magic, of course,” says fourth-grader Bethany Waldby. It helps, says fourth-grader Benito Espinoza, to “wear a fireproof suit. If the door is unlocked, though, I just walk in.” Fourth-grader Kaelan Sharpe isn't taking any chances. “I call the fire department,” says the youngster. “I travel with water just in case,” says fifth-grader Paulina Gannon. “Or I have my reindeer drool over the fire.”◆ And, finally, Santa, what will you be bringing to the White House this year?Getting this Santa's gift past security isn't going to be easy. It's going to be a “really big box with a surprise inside,” says fifth-grader Nevaeh Simmons. “Lots of presents because the president works very hard, and I will bring his dog a bone,” promises Paulina Ortiz. Ah, but Marisela Rodriguez wants to check her naughty or nice list. “I will bring the present that he wanted,” she says, “if he is on the good list.” And folks at the White House shouldn't wait up for fourth-grader Riley Beddingfield. “By the time I get there,” says this Santa, “I will fall asleep and forget.”

Reach Lou Parris at 828-694-7836 or molehills@blueridgenow.com.

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