Aries: “wish you were gay”

Let’s be honest- if anyone is going to make a joke like this, it’s going to be an Aries. You know what you want the moment you see it, and you’re pretty used to getting your way- but when someone doesn’t return your interest, it definitely takes your ego down a few notches: and you’d really prefer to believe that there are other extenuating circumstances rather than that they just…aren’t…into you.

Taurus: “xanny”

“I’m in their second hand smoke/still just drinking canned coke/i don’t need a xanny to feel better/on designated drives home/only one who’s not stoned/ don’t give me a xanny, now or ever.”

Taurus is that friend who would much rather stay at home in their comfort zone than go out, yet is begrudgingly drug out anyways- and usually is the sober/more aware person in the party scene. They’re usually considered the more responsible parental figure whether they want to be or not, so to find them in a situation like this wouldn’t be shocking by any means.

Gemini: “goodbye”

“what do you want from me?”

Truthfully, this one seems like a cop out because it’s…lines from every song on the album. But what really says Gemini more than not being able to pick a specific song for you because you have a hard time making decisions about, anything? Exactly.

Cancer: “8”

“i came committed/think I overdid it/wore my heart around a chain on my neck, but now it’s missing”

The unrequited love? The compassionate understanding? The FEELINGS? Sounds just like a Cancer. You feel very deeply and once you’re in, you’re all in. But you have a bad habit of falling for those that don’t quite love you back, and you have a hard time letting go of what could have been if they had given you a chance.

Leo: “you should see me in a crown”

“you should see me in a crown/I’m gonna run this nothing town/watch me make them bow one by one.”

Not only are you the star of the show, you’re the BOSS. You already know everyone loves you and that if you wanted, you could pretty much run the world. Like we know you’re not evil or anything but…if you had the desire to be a dictator and have everyone bow down before you? Yeah, we could see it.

Virgo: “when the party’s over”

“i’ll only hurt you if you let me…/nothing is better sometimes, once we’ve both said our goodbyes/let’s just let it go.”

Virgos tend to be guarded types who push people away- whether it’s good or bad for them. However, they’re incredibly self-critical and do their best to “fix” or work out situations in the relationships if possible- and if not, they know that letting go is for the best. With this song, Billie knows that the two aren’t right for each other, and though it’s difficult for her (“quiet when I’m coming home, and I’m on my own/I could lie, say I like it like that.”) she still can see that it’s for the best to end things- and she’s willing to do it to save them both worse pain later on.

Libra: “ilomilo”

“where did you go?/I should know, but it’s cold/and I don’t want to be lonely/so tell me you’ll come home.”

Libras feel extremely connected and concerned with the people they care about in their lives: once they have a friend or romantic partner who feels like the ying to their yang, they always do their best to check on them and make sure they’re okay. They don’t like to be without their other half, and crave the balance it brings to their lives, so if they become separated, it causes a lot of distress for them: also, knowing that the song is based on a video game of two friends who are separated and spend the whole time trying to find each other again? What more Libra could you ask for?

Scorpio: “bury a friend.”

“what do you want from me?/why don’t you run from me?/what are you wondering, what do you know?/why aren’t you scared of me?/why do you care for me?”

Out of all the signs, you’re the least likely to shy away from the darker side of things- and you tend to throw up all your walls by showing off your harsher/dark qualities to anyone interested in you right from the start. You keep people at a distance but also crave to cut through the formalities and get right down to what a person thinks and what their intentions are. You’re extremely intense and passionate, and you aren’t afraid of…well, pretty much anything.

Sagittarius: “bad guy”

“ I like it when you take control/even if you know that you don’t/own me, I’ll let you play the role.”

While this track comes off a little darker than what you’d expect from a Sagittarius, there is one undeniable theme here: you do what you want, when you want to. Sagittarians have a way of being flirty and charming without having to try, and can have people believing that they have the upper hand in the situation: yet the Sagittarius won’t let you limit them in any form or conform to anyone else’s standards, except their own.

Capricorn: “good girls go to hell”

“all the good girls go to hell/cause even god herself has enemies/and wants the water’s start to rise/and heaven’s out of sight/she’s gonna want the devil on her team.”

Let’s be honest: anyone who is going to be this cynical and pessimistic has to be a Cap, hands down. Capricorns tend to distrust just about anyone- particularly if they’re told something without having evidence/proof. It’s no surprise that you would say heaven doesn’t seem like all it’s cracked up to be, or that you would fixate on the negative aspects of a situation- even one involving deities and afterlife.

Aquarius: “my strange addiction”

“bad, bad news, one of us is gonna lose, you’re the powder, I’m the fuse/just add a little friction/you’re my strange addiction.”

Aquarians don’t normally get attached or addicted to much of anything- but when they do, you can bet it’s because it’s something strange or unconditional. Aquarius like to explore the world and thrive on things being exciting and even a little reckless from time to time- and when they do fall for someone, they usually aren’t comfortable with the feeling and can’t explain exactly what’s happening to them, so they’d rather compare it to a sickness than anything else.

Pisces: “i love you”

“you didn’t mean to say ‘i love you’/i love you and I don’t want to.”

Pisces tend to feel EVERYTHING, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Yet it’s not uncommon for them to overthink and compare their love interests/lives to an idea inside their head that can’t be matched in the real world. Plus, what’s more Pisces than legitimately admitting that you’re overwhelmed with being in love with someone even when swear you don’t want to be and you try to distance yourself? Nothing.