Words of Wit and/or Wisdom

Month: November 2014

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This morning, as I was walking through Barnes & Noble, I passed the magazine section, and happened to notice this cover for Time Magazine. I know who Taylor Swift is — sort of. I’m pretty sure she’s either a singer I’ve never heard (i.e. anyone who became famous after 2010) or the star of a CW show I’ve never seen (i.e. any CW show other than The Flash). I’m vaguely aware that she’s younger and taller than she looks, but I don’t know why I know that.

Still, in spite of my vast knowledge (which runs the gamut from A to lower case a), I’m intrigued by the concept of “The Power of Taylor Swift”? What is it?

Is it an attribute of Ms. Swift herself? (“The power of Taylor Swift is derived from a corbomite quantum cell in her medulla oblongata, which is why her eyes do that glowing white ring thing.”)

Or is it a thing superheroes can do, like invisibility? (“After being exposed to cosmic radiation, Brandi suddenly developed the powers of telepathy, Taylor Swift, and telekinesis, which is why her eyes do that glowing white ring thing.”)

Or is it a benchmark for comparison purposes? (“The 2015 Lexus combines the sleek lines of a sports car with the power of Taylor Swift. Just one test drive and your eyes will do that glowing white ring thing.”)

Or is this just one of those things that man was not meant to know?

Update: Those glowing white rings in her eyes remind me of this:

I’m now certain that the power of Taylor Swift has something to do with seafood.

One of my favorite bands growing up in the 60’s was The Kingston Trio. (Disclaimer: I was uncool before it was cool to be uncool, and long before it was hip to be square.) Probably my favorite song was their 1959 hit The M.T.A., because it recounted an age-old tale of man’s struggle against mass transportation that really resonated with a pre-teen John. Listen to this haunting introduction, and you’ll understand how I was captivated.

These are the times that try men’s souls. In the course of our nation’s history, the people of Boston have rallied bravely whenever the rights of men have been threatened. Today, a new crisis has arisen. The Metropolitan Transit Authority, better known as the M.T.A., is attempting to levy a burdensome tax on the population in the form of a subway fare increase. Citizens, hear me out! This could happen to you!