Woman helps promote fathers in children's lives

Published: Monday, July 8, 2013 at 1:22 p.m.

Last Modified: Monday, July 8, 2013 at 1:22 p.m.

It may be a man's world, but not a father's world.

Changing that cultural paradigm is a mission objective for Prevent Child Abuse NC, headquartered in Raleigh. Lexington resident Karen Schrader is a locally based Circle of Parents/Fatherhood Coach for the agency.

Through her work, Schrader is hoping to help uproot traditional norms that dictate mothers are to provide the primary nurturing role for children and work toward ways that allow fathers to become actively engaged in the same.

Though the name of the agency may be interpreted as an entity with a singular social purpose, its function and research is dynamic and extends well beyond abuse itself, says Schrader, who joined PCANC in October 2011.

To be certain, there are those fathers who have no interest in being a part of their children's lives, but there are millions who would love to have a co-parenting role, "if they only knew how," Schrader says. "There are well-intentioned fathers hidden in plain sight."

The concept of men caring for babies is incongruous. "They are portrayed as bumbling idiots. While they may attend maternity classes with the mothers, they are not really incorporated into the whole process," Schrader says. "When they go into a doctor's office with the new mom, there's not really anything there that welcomes them.

"They are better-known as mothers' assistants or baby-sitters."

When children come into the world, their identities are provided for them, Schrader says. For example, girls are given what are considered to be "feminine" toys to play with, such as baby dolls and cooking sets, which germinates their nurturing instincts as well as establishes an expected domestic role for the future. Boys are given what are considered to be "masculine" toys, such as army men, cars and trucks. Thus, their future child-caring roles become established and repeated with each generation.

Schrader's work on fatherhood has focused on providing consultation to the North Carolina Fatherhood Advisory Council, the leader in fatherhood efforts in North Carolina. She has also worked with two child welfare agencies and two community-based nonprofit agencies to help them identify and engage fathers.

As a member of the Fatherhood Policy Committee, she was instrumental in assisting with PCANC's year-long research and assessment project on fatherhood in North Carolina. The project identified key strategies for building the capacity and strength of efforts to engage fathers in their children's lives. The committee, whose members represent many organizations involved in fatherhood work, concluded fatherhood efforts in North Carolina required intentional focus in the areas of leadership, public awareness, evidence-based replication, professional and volunteer education and consultation, and activities promoting coalition-building and peer support.

Schrader notes that parents bring important voices to the table at local levels, especially when agencies are seeking input from the community.

Summarizing definitions for an "engaged father," Schrader explains, "there is no one single role a father should subscribe to. When we say engaged father we mean fathers who are present and available to their children; nurture their children and help perform routine tasks necessary to maintain their children's emotional well-being, physical health and appearance; are actively involved in their children's social and academic lives; establish a supportive, cooperative relationship focused on optimal child development with the child's mother and others who care for the children; and provide a role model for their children through a healthy lifestyle, education, proper social behaviors and work ethic that helps children learn to become productive members of society."

One of the benefits an engaged father brings to a child includes the building of healthy brain architecture in children in a different way than mothers, and children need both types of interactions for healthy development, according to the agency's research.

According to the Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Rough-housing with dad, for example, can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions. Fathers also tend to promote independence and an orientation to the outside world. Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing, both of which are important to healthy development.

For more information about PCANC's fatherhood work, contact Schrader at kschrader@preventchildabusenc.org or (919) 256-6610.

Dwight Davis can be reached at 249-3981, ext, 226 or at dwight.davis@the-dispatch.com.

<p>It may be a man's world, but not a father's world.</p><p>Changing that cultural paradigm is a mission objective for Prevent Child Abuse NC, headquartered in Raleigh. Lexington resident Karen Schrader is a locally based Circle of Parents/Fatherhood Coach for the agency.</p><p>Through her work, Schrader is hoping to help uproot traditional norms that dictate mothers are to provide the primary nurturing role for children and work toward ways that allow fathers to become actively engaged in the same.</p><p>Though the name of the agency may be interpreted as an entity with a singular social purpose, its function and research is dynamic and extends well beyond abuse itself, says Schrader, who joined PCANC in October 2011.</p><p>To be certain, there are those fathers who have no interest in being a part of their children's lives, but there are millions who would love to have a co-parenting role, "if they only knew how," Schrader says. "There are well-intentioned fathers hidden in plain sight."</p><p>The concept of men caring for babies is incongruous. "They are portrayed as bumbling idiots. While they may attend maternity classes with the mothers, they are not really incorporated into the whole process," Schrader says. "When they go into a doctor's office with the new mom, there's not really anything there that welcomes them.</p><p>"They are better-known as mothers' assistants or baby-sitters."</p><p>When children come into the world, their identities are provided for them, Schrader says. For example, girls are given what are considered to be "feminine" toys to play with, such as baby dolls and cooking sets, which germinates their nurturing instincts as well as establishes an expected domestic role for the future. Boys are given what are considered to be "masculine" toys, such as army men, cars and trucks. Thus, their future child-caring roles become established and repeated with each generation.</p><p>Schrader's work on fatherhood has focused on providing consultation to the North Carolina Fatherhood Advisory Council, the leader in fatherhood efforts in North Carolina. She has also worked with two child welfare agencies and two community-based nonprofit agencies to help them identify and engage fathers.</p><p>As a member of the Fatherhood Policy Committee, she was instrumental in assisting with PCANC's year-long research and assessment project on fatherhood in North Carolina. The project identified key strategies for building the capacity and strength of efforts to engage fathers in their children's lives. The committee, whose members represent many organizations involved in fatherhood work, concluded fatherhood efforts in North Carolina required intentional focus in the areas of leadership, public awareness, evidence-based replication, professional and volunteer education and consultation, and activities promoting coalition-building and peer support.</p><p>Schrader notes that parents bring important voices to the table at local levels, especially when agencies are seeking input from the community.</p><p>Summarizing definitions for an "engaged father," Schrader explains, "there is no one single role a father should subscribe to. When we say engaged father we mean fathers who are present and available to their children; nurture their children and help perform routine tasks necessary to maintain their children's emotional well-being, physical health and appearance; are actively involved in their children's social and academic lives; establish a supportive, cooperative relationship focused on optimal child development with the child's mother and others who care for the children; and provide a role model for their children through a healthy lifestyle, education, proper social behaviors and work ethic that helps children learn to become productive members of society."</p><p>One of the benefits an engaged father brings to a child includes the building of healthy brain architecture in children in a different way than mothers, and children need both types of interactions for healthy development, according to the agency's research.</p><p>According to the Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Rough-housing with dad, for example, can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions. Fathers also tend to promote independence and an orientation to the outside world. Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing, both of which are important to healthy development.</p><p>For more information about PCANC's fatherhood work, contact Schrader at kschrader@preventchildabusenc.org or (919) 256-6610.</p><p>Dwight Davis can be reached at 249-3981, ext, 226 or at dwight.davis@the-dispatch.com.</p>