Its a two edge sword go to supermarket see the mothers and daughters, you see the effects of aging destroys physical beauty. So even if they attain
perfection its short lived and aging will bring their beauty to waste sooner or later. The media want to show hot woman because its entertainment,
never been any difference since the entertainment industry was created, go and look at the glamour gals of the 30s, 40s, 50s theyre all hot.

Thank you for bringing this topic to ATS Akragon, it has been heavily on my mind for a couple months now. I turned 37 in June and it was as if my
metabolism hit a brick wall... I've gained almost 25 pounds since then and I haven't been eating any differently, no more or less "exercise", I'm
not doing anything different at all, same poop different day, ya know? Also, I now have a blotch of dark skin on my right cheek which is new and the
pores are getting larger on my face. I spent the past few months feeling less and less attractive. Add to all of this the fact that my oldest son
turned 18 on Dec.1st and you end up with one depressing situation.

Then the other day I had an epiphany of sorts (thank gawd lol); "I'm just getting older, that's all there is to it." I guess for me it was hard
because I have had extremely low self esteem the majority of my life and only a few years ago did I start to really see that, even though it isn't a
"Hollywood" beauty, I'm actually an attractive woman in the real world. I wish I would have realized this much earlier in my life because I'm sure
I would have been a much more confident person who most likely would have achieved more. Having low self esteem is very limiting, it makes you feel
disconnected and unsure of yourself in so many ways. I blame this on the entertainment industry, hocking their "sex sells" wares on the general
public and making people believe that you have to measure up to those very unrealistic standards to measure up.

I have to give credit to my husband because he went online with his computer illiterate self and showed me pictures (paintings) of what was considered
beautiful before Hollywood came along and stigmatized mankind's idea of beauty.

(I'm going to try to upload some images into my reply... it's my first ever attempt, so I'm crossing fingers.)

Here are some examples of pre~Hollywood beauty:

We all need to remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and since we're the ones "beholding" our images every day in the mirror, it's
up to us to behold our individual beauty!

I didn't used to think so, I actually used to believe that I would embrace aging and all it's trappings. My great~grandparents were "plain" people
(Bretheren to be precise) and were a huge part of my life growing up. My great Grandmother never even wore makeup and from the point in her life when
I knew her and until her passing she never wore makeup. I sincerely thought I would cherish my grey hairs, fine lines and age spots as trophy's of a
sort. Being faced with those things as a reality was just different than I thought it would be.

The aging freak-out that I had only lasted a few months and I was hoping that came across in my original reply... guess not. I am now embracing the
aging process and have reconnected with my original belief that I would "age gracefully" since my epiphany last week.

Hitting 40 was a huge one for me... suddenly the realities of getting old hit me. And hit me hard. It took me a few years to finally accept the
aging process. Even though, to be perfectly honest, I'm still not 100% comfortable in my new "old fart" skin.

It doesn't help when we get bombarded every day with advertisements that we should be buying this type of anti-wrinkle cream, and that type of hair
dye, and this teeth whitener, and that slim-down meal, and this type of mascara to make our lashes longer, or this lipstick to give us that beestung
look.

I'm glad you posted this, it's a very serious problem, my girlfriend used to suffer from bulimia and it is a very serious mental disorder. She would
do things like chuck her lunch over the fence on the way to school, wipe a plate with pasta sauce so her mum would believe her when she said she'd
already eaten and not even think this was strange behaviour. If someone told her how thin she looked she would think they were lying to her face and
she would have an urge to go and be sick, from a compliment...

Photoshopping is ridiculous too, my housemate did a nuts magazine shoot, when she was printed she managed to find her boobs but the head and legs
weren't hers... They just pick people who have one desirable feature then turn them into a Frankenstein photo, everyone should focus on the features
they love about themselves and start ignoring the features they don't, obsession is sold for profit and it's destroying the mentality of girls
across the western world.

I know you mean by hitting 40. I'm 43 and I still look fairly young for my age, but I have to watch every single bite to keep my weight down to a
reasonable number, I'm finding gray hairs a lot more frequently, and there are lines and little crevices etched onto my face that never used to be
there. Plus, I am bombarded at the check stand with a million magazine headlines about "How to Look Good After 40!" and "How to Cope at the Office
after 40!" and "How to Dress After 40!" and "How Not to Disgust Society with Your Fat, Wrinkly, Hag-like Self After 40!" I don't feel old at
all, so I don't understand why society seems to think I am.

I work with a lot of elderly folks, and it's helped to ease my fear aging a bit. But aging as woman is this society is no fun. You become invisible.
I'm really glad that I cultivated an inner life and built up substantial skills rather than relying on looks and youth to get me through.

Irish Cream, you might want to go to a doctor about the unexplained weight gain. It could be a symptom of an underlying medical issue, like a hormonal
problem or PCOS.

34/M/... I am very much attracted to more petite girls. I'm not saying skin and bones. I'm also not saying exclusively. A few varying examples I
like: Shakira; old school Christina Aguilera; American pie Shannon Elizabeth; More recently, Kaley Cuoco (Big bang theory, Penny); Olivia Munn; etc...

I've often wondered if these tastes are a product of media. What else COULD it be?
Genetics? I kinda doubt that, since I think we're supposed to be programmed to look for big boobs and wide hips.

It could be that I've seen my mom and grandma struggle with weight, and as a result, struggle with health for at least my whole life. Maybe not. I do
know that I've consciously said I would hate for any hypothetical kids of mine to have to deal with it.

I've heard peers, when I was younger, make fun of heaviers. I'm very empathetic, so again, wouldn't want to subject an offspring to that abuse.
Maybe it's not the media making most girls think that way. It's probably peers, and that is what the media is actually controlling.

So there's not much wrong with being over weight? What about what's good about it?... I could, I won't, but I COULD give lots of advantages to
being "healthy skinny." How many pros can be given for kids being overweight?

Sexual proclivity, in my opinion, mostly derives from a combination of that inner erotic feeling cropping up and the psyche having an associative
imprint made on it.

I think some folks are "born" gay, but I think a larger number have some kind of experience, likely a mundane experience, that coincides with some
inner hormonal shifting of a child, and it creates an associative memory. It is uncomfortable to admit that interactions with family members while
growing up can have an influence on sexuality. But when examined, it is hard to make an argument against it.

I think Freud was a deranged moron. He touched on something very real and important, though. Our parents (and our siblings) have deep effects on how
we develop. Just one single experience, timed with the correct mix of neurochemicals in a developing body, can create a lifelong trait, sexual and
otherwise.

34/M/... I am very much attracted to more petite girls. I'm not saying skin and bones. I'm also not saying exclusively. A few varying examples I
like: Shakira; old school Christina Aguilera; American pie Shannon Elizabeth; More recently, Kaley Cuoco (Big bang theory, Penny); Olivia Munn; etc...

I've often wondered if these tastes are a product of media. What else COULD it be?
Genetics? I kinda doubt that, since I think we're supposed to be programmed to look for big boobs and wide hips.

It could be that I've seen my mom and grandma struggle with weight, and as a result, struggle with health for at least my whole life. Maybe not. I do
know that I've consciously said I would hate for any hypothetical kids of mine to have to deal with it.

I've heard peers, when I was younger, make fun of heaviers. I'm very empathetic, so again, wouldn't want to subject an offspring to that abuse.
Maybe it's not the media making most girls think that way. It's probably peers, and that is what the media is actually controlling.

So there's not much wrong with being over weight? What about what's good about it?... I could, I won't, but I COULD give lots of advantages to
being "healthy skinny." How many pros can be given for kids being overweight?

...more random thoughts from me, later, if we're lucky.

You gotta see what those people look like without makeup bro...

Some celebrities are actually not so attractive... Christina Aquilera is actually Fuggly without makeup LOL

It took me such a long time to realise that magazines and films were what made me feel so self conscious. I haven't picked up a gossip magazine in
nearly 3 years and I feel a lot better about myself, I don't feel the need to follow fashion fads and best of all, i don't know who most of the
celebrities are anymore! just the way i like it

I have leveled off in the weight gain department and I was actually quite thin before the gain. It's just one of the, rather sudden, ways I have
realised that I am aging and I certainly do not fit our Hollywood influenced sterotype of doing it gracefully lol.

As far as seeing a doctor, well that's not in the budget... but that's a topic for another thread!

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