6.03.2008

Tall, Dark, and Handsome.This sentence fragment has been stated so often it's now a cliché for the guy we all want. Apparently.I don't really get it. I'm dark (naturally because I'm Indian) and handsome (again, naturally because I'm Indian); but does height really play a factor in those who find me attractive?

It's not that it was my choice to be short, you know. My parents have both succumb to the South Indian short gene. I was bound to be a shorter male.

Standing at 5'6", I always thought I was a comfortable height. I can reach for things on the shelf – mind you it's the lowest shelf but gosh darn-it it's still a shelf! I'm tall enough to not be considered a little person like the Roloffs and can get on most rides when the carnival comes to town.

But have you ever notice how regardless of our carnival-permitted heights, us short people don't earn the attention we would like?I always found that I get the term 'cute' or 'adorable'. True, these are fantastic words, but where is those words tall guys get like 'hot' and 'rugged' and 'manly'.When was the last time you've heard of a short man being 'manly'?My point exactly.

According to recent statistics that I didn't make up, both men and women find that short people work harder at attracting others to prove themselves due to their 'physical handicap of being short'.It's hard enough being Indian in the bar scene's racial hierarchy, and now I have to 'prove' myself because I'm short! Aah!

So where do us short men go? What do we do?Do we wear elevator shoes?Do we take hormone-injections approved by the government to get a few inches taller?Do we work extremely hard so our achievements make up for our lack of height?

If there was a clear-cut answer, I'd like to hear it.In lieu of it, I like to think of the positive side of being short:We short men are said to be more reliable and depended upon.We short men are more approachable.We short men can buy clothes in the boys section and not be taxed (in Canada).We short men are hugged more.Mmm. Hugs.

We can pride ourselves with the famous short men that have walked among us:Danny DeVito - Mark Wahlberg - Jason Alexander - Muggsy Bogues - Alfonso Ribeiro

They've turned out ok, eh?No need for elevator shoes.No need for injections.No need to be an over-achiever (although if you're South Asian, it's either in your blood or you're pressured to do so).

To answer my first question – does height really play a factor in those who find me attractive – I hope it doesn't. I'm sure it doesn't.

I'm Indian; therefore I am handsome, charming, and witty.I can tell a good prawn curry from a bad one, and will not be afraid to let you know about it. (And will furthermore judge you if you indeed produce a bad prawn curry).I can go to the grocery store and calculate the inflation and tax on bananas in my head while at the check-out.I'm a catch!

Therefore height doesn't really play a factor. It's all a state of mind.

The next time you hear a guy say they want someone Tall, Dark, and Handsome, they might be a little confused. Who knows? Perhaps what they really need is some S&M: Short and Male.