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So very sorry Sins, no words seem enough, I'll remember Daisy fondly, I always loved her photos and your stories about her, she is among one of the many on here that hold a place in my heart. Thinking of you and your family at the sad, difficult time

Thanks for all the messages,it's helped us through a very difficult time.
Until you've actually lost a dog,it's hard to understand just how traumatic it can be,even when the outcome was inevitable.
Most of last Friday passed in a blur.Handing her over for her surgery at 10.00 am was so tough,knowing that was probably the last time we'd see her.We had still had some small bit of hope,but that had vanished at lunchtime when the dreaded call came. I felt guilty that I wasn't there for her,but I couldn't drive back up and bring her home,it would be more than the children could have coped with,so the vets have arranged an individual cremation.
On Saturday morning,I woke up in the middle of a dream and she was running around the grounds of the vet hospital,nose to the ground,sniffing the grass,moving freely with her tail flying.
My husband joking tells me that she was making her way across to Doggie heaven,Swan beds is a company across the road from the vet hospital so he reckons she was making her way across to find a four poster bed with a memory foam mattress. I managed a little laugh at that one..
Although it still made me feel guilty that I didn't go back for her.
It'll take 4 weeks for her ashes to come back,I think they must send them to Northern Ireland for cremation.
I paid the last part of the bill over the phone today,but I must go in to the vets and sign the insurance forms.I could ask them to send them out,but in a way I'm happier to do this, as I can get them to print out the biopsy report and in a way I'll get closure from facing up to this.
I've been looking at photos of her and some old youtube videos of her.
Looking back,I realise that she'd been a very sick little dog for quite some time.The photos pre 2011,show a young vibrant dog,full of vigour and enthusiasm,racing around,eyes bright and alert.
Since the summer,we've had a weary little warrior,her eyes were dull and all the spark had gone from them.She's been semi detached from the family,preferring to lie down and just exist.
When the reality dawned that she had cancer,and that she was fading from us,there really was no decision to make.We had to protect her from what was to come.
It doesn't make the loss any easier alas,there's a gap in our lives,and some very fond memories.
the numbness is beginning to wear off a little and the other dogs don't understand why it's hard to connect with them at the moment.This morning,Ivy was begging for cuddles and when I picked her up and looked at her little face,I realised that the others need us and we love them too.Hopefully spending time with them and getting out and about again,walking them,grooming and tending to them will help bring life back to normal.
I probably won't rest easy until we get her ashes back and we have our girl home safely where she belongs.
It's been an amazing five years,some amazingly wonderful,some very difficult and challenging,but thank you all for sharing our little adventure with Daisy over the years.
Sins