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Review:

littlejumper01 says:This story has potential. There are not many stories about the snatchers and they seem to be an interesting group to look into. I like the idea behind this story. However, it does need a little more work. The first thing I noticed was the numerous grammatical and spelling errors. Many of these errors are just a simple slip of the finger on the key board. When it should have been “he” is was “she” or “her.” Whenever I write something, I find that writing it on paper and then on the computer helps me find mistakes. Using spell check can also help with finding and correcting these mistakes. Other times, these mistakes slip past spell check or re-reads, having someone else read your work really helps with correcting mistakes. Another prominent error I ran across was punctuation. Most of the time it wasn’t there or the wrong punctuation mark was used. When Hermione was pacing her room, the questions she was asking herself ended with a period, they should have ended with a question mark. Once again, re-reading or spell check can help a lot with finding these mistakes. There were also times when a random word in the sentence would be capitalized and there was no need for it to be. By fixing these mistakes, your writing will sound and look better. Not everyone is perfect at writing, best-selling authors make mistakes all the time. Keep writing. The more you write, the better your writing will become. As I said at the beginning, your story has potential and would like to see more of it.