Monday, July 25, 2011

Jello Comparisons

Comparisons to Jello are rampant in the news lately. First, in the ongoing negotiations between Congress and the White House, Speaker Boehner said

"Dealing with them the last couple months has been like dealing with Jell-O, Boehner said. 'Some days it's firmer than others. Sometimes it's like they've left it out over night.'"

That at least is a proper characterization of Jello. For a dubious comparison, consider this comparison made when discussing the negotiations between the NFL and the team owners. A punter (coincidentally who plays for the local Minnesota Vikings) had shot his mouth off (aka Tweeted) about the situation and was taken to task for the little contributions that a punter makes to the team.

"But perhaps the moment most indicative of the separation between punter and football player is when one of his punts is returned for a touchdown. The punter, the nominal last line of defense, appears to be an invertebrate on a sheet of ice as he squirms into a position to make the tackle. His eyes widen and he splays his arms out to the side as if to embrace a giant teddy bear. The returner, with a quick head nod, sends the punter blindly lurching to the wrong side, into a Jell-O-like pile of his own shortcomings."

(emphasis added) So what exactly is a Jello-like pile of shortcomings?

It's not often that I praise politicians, but in this case, Boehner certainly showed a higher understanding of Jello rheology than a sportwriter.