I think Anvil is like Judas Priest but with a less amazing singer, a better drummer, and slightly dumber lyrics. They’re also lovable especially if you see the documentary Anvil: The Story of Anvil. Their 1982 anthem “Metal on Metal” contains this brilliant stanza: “Metal on metal / Heads start to bang / Denim and leather / Chains that clang.”

Judas Priest were indeed metal gods of the 70s up until the mid-80s when they started wearing colored leather instead of black leather. When they wisely switched back to black leather to begin the 90s they sounded good again.

“Bang your head / Metal health’ll drive you mad.” Whatever that means, it sure sounded good to me while walking home from elementary school carrying a boom box. Over twenty-five years later, I now offer my apologies to the quiet residents of suburban Denver.

The mighty Venom aren’t really clever or talented yet somehow (or perhaps because of this) are enormously influential. This speedy and bombastic anthem tells you to “Lay down your soul to the gods rock and roll.” They don’t even fit in the word “of” before “rock and roll.” Don’t question it.