Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Sorry, you can't come to youth group...

About 6 months ago I suspended two guys from youth group for punching up one of the littler boys, in a completely unprovoked situation. Since then they hadn't been speaking to me as I saw them around the traps. They would literally ignore me if I approached them. Well they came to OZ tag yesterday which was awesome, and we all had a lot of fun, and hopefully the relationship between us will become much more positive as it used to be.

I'm not sure what to do if they want to come back to youth group though. One of them can be fairly disruptive and I fear he may make youth an unsafe place. Even though he is in yr 7, I've heard he has started "rolling" (mugging) people, and his Mum told me she had previously called the police because he was hitting her. This was the same boy who once said Jesus was more important to him than footy.

It's a strange position to be in, not allowing a child to come to a place where he'll hear about Jesus. Kinda sucks.

11 comments:

It is a tough situation. Could you meet up and chat about what he thinks being a Christian is? I suppose though the relationship is different now. I am with Soph, God is the one who will be working, lets pray that he uses you or someone to bring him to Christ. That he may be changed by the power of the gospel and the work of the Spirit.

As 6 months have gone by, it might be time to strike a deal. It would involve talking to the kid, and if he was keen to return then explain clear guidelines of behaviour at Youth Group. This would also need a conversation with the boy he hit if he was to come back. Happy to talk further.

it might be time to strike a deal. It would involve talking to the kid, and if he was keen to return then explain clear guidelines of behaviour at Youth Group.yeh, they have these contracs at the local school. A lot of the time they don;t work. But this kid can lose it, and I'm afraid that when he loses it he will hurt someone again. It's not the first time his been suspended, and saying "if you disobey the guidelines you can't come back" doesn't mean squat to him.

Of course we want to help kids find Christ, but how do we do that without putting other kids in our groups at risk? I work in a Christian non-profit and we target at-risk, non Christian, fringe kids. What I have found to be effective with a kid who has been disruptive and needed suspension from group is to offer to continue meeting with them outside of group. Then you can still pour into their life without putting the other kids at risk. Plus you get to know them better and this puts you in a good position to judge when they are ready to come back to the group. The large part of youth ministry shouldn't happen in the large group, but in the one on one/two/or three meetings. Hope this helps.