The 11 Emotional Stages of Canceling Plans

Am I a flake? Yes. No. Yes. No.

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1. Relief that your vegging-out time has arrived. Finally! Home from work. Man, these new ballet flats are not breaking themselves in. I wonder if that Law & Order: SVU episode I was watching on Instant last night is still paused at the exact place I left it at? I think Stabler was asking the kid to show him on the doll where his stepdad touched him.

6. Scheming. I could lie and say that the plans I had tomorrow I actually have today, or that I have to go to the eye doctor or something? But I'm such a bad liar.

7. Figuring out how to flake without annoying him/her. What about if I just tell her that I'm too tired but say, "Rain check?" Then she knows I'm serious about rescheduling and not just blowing her off. It's not raining. I guess that doesn't matter, since it's just an expression?

8. Getting a second wind. You know what, though? Someday I'm going to be an old hag with rickets and cataracts and wish that I had taken more advantage of my youth to go out and do things besides lying down.

9. Determination. I should go meet Katie. I really should. I know how this SVU ends, anyway It's not like Benson and Stabler are finally gonna have sex.

10. Rationalization, Part 2. It'll be fun once I'm there! It's the motivation part that's tough. The putting-pants-back-on part. Maybe it'll be easier if I just wear leggings.

11. The last-minute laziness victory. YES, I AM YOUNG! I AM YOUNG AND GOING OUT TO TAKE ON THE— Oh, it's raining now. I'd better cancel.