The Crap We Missed – Friday 4.19.13

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that I promise doesn’t contain any Twitter-sharted most likely false info about the Boston Marathon suspects. Or does it? LIL BUB IS A ROBOTIC SURVEILLANCE DEVICE CREATED BY DARPA TO DISTRACT US FROM SOPA PASSING CONGRESS!!11 HIS TONGUE IS A SECRET DATABASE FOR EVERYONE’S EMAILS AND PHONE CALLSFALSEFLAGFALSEFLAG!! Except none of that. Stop that shit and instead do something constructive like captioning the hell out of Anthony Kiedis and his girlfriend literally about to bang on the sidewalk, Black Bad Santa and Armenian Oswald Cobblepot.

Seriously Hollywood, a The Blind Side reboot already? (I’m sorry Melissa McCarthy, you’re the shit for real and I’m a low-hanging fruit motherfucker),

I figured more people would get the movie reference than if I said “Hagraven” or “Deathclaw”, “Splicer”, or (sobbing in the corner, don’t distrub her) “Witch”. Hmmm… maybe she HAS been doing some modelling in the last few years.