After reading the newest of the SLS "Sex Stories" I was left wondering what it had to do with swinging. No mention was made in the story of being swingers, but the lady of the house got up in the middle of the night and fucked the college boy staying over at their house that night.

Is THIS swinging? There have been a few other Sex Stories that made me wonder too - in which someone screwed someone without their spouse's knowledge.

I just wonder if it's a common thing for swingers to have fantasies about cheating behind their spouse's back. Or is it very common for swingers to mix swinging AND cheating in their sexual adventures? Is there something especially appealing about the sneakiness of cheating that makes it attractive even to people who openly swing with other couples?

I don't expect anyone to confess if they do cheat as well as swing, but I'm curious about how common swingers think it is that couples cheat in addition to swinging. And I'm not talking about couples who play or "date" separately by mutual agreement. I'm talking about having sex without your spouse's knowledge.

I don't think you'll get too many of the moral police condemning you for honesty.

Thread drift....Which is more annoying? The moral police? The know-it-all? The ones who feel the need to post why they are different than group they would typically be stereotyped with?

Jennings LA

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Nympho, it is a to each their own issue I'm sure. There was a key word in mine, emotions were involved and a lot of hurt happened. I would never judge you, I just said what we did and that it took a lot to come through it. And we were already swingers when this happened, but the sex took place for very wrong reasons. Besides, I can't flame you. Bacchus is retired AF and I loved your happy post about time together. I remember those days well and even now, I'm in NYC and Hubby is on a Navy Base in Maryland. Miss him wicked as always.

Saint Augustine FL

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It took me awhile to respond to this because I really had to think about it to be sure I answered truthfully. Upon carefull evaluation, no I don't have cheating fantasies. I'm eager to ask Bacchus if he does when we speak tonight. However, we did both cheat once and we most certainly did not consider it part of the lifestyle. It was about 15 years ago and we both started almost simultaneously. We were in a troubled point in our marriage in that we had outside stresses affecting us both. Somehow we really let our connection to each other slip. This was further compounded by me living in Cinci during the week. We both ended up in emotional as well as physical affairs with non lifestyle friends. Ultimately this was very damaging to all parties for some time. It took a lot of work for us to get back to where we wanted to be with each other. It just isn't something I recommend.

Saint Augustine FL

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We know of a situation where 2 couples who were both friends and playmates of ours got themselves all screwed up because one of the wives and the other husband fell in love. They were swinging together practically every weekend anyway, so we all were shocked when we learned that they were cheating with each other during the week too.

That's the only such incident of cheating, though, that we have heard about among our swinging acquaintances.

Mrs. Valovers and I have both had the experience, though, of having opportunities for sex with someone who turned us on when one or the other of us was out of town on business. In my case, it was someone I met at a conference. In her case, it was a male friend and the subject came up of his coming over while I was out of town.

Neither of us did anything about it, but it did cause us to talk about those situations and what we thought would be a way to handle any such situations in the future that would work for us. We decided that if we are separated by business travel, and someone really "trips our trigger," we thought we ought to just go ahead and have our fun, and then tell each other about it AFTERWARD instead of feeling like we need to make a phone call to get "permission."

Unfortunately, neither of us has had the opportunity come up again since then, so we don't yet know how that arrangement would work for us. Still, now that we've come to that agreement, that isn't really cheating by our definition, because it's not without consent.

South Riding VA

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I WAS a habitual cheater but no longer. My relationship with Craig is the first relationship i have ever had that i didn't cheat or even have the desire to. Honestly the thought has never crossed my mind. Why hasn't it? Because i love Craig, respect our relationship, and would never do anything to damage that. Being in the lifestyle there is no need to cheat. The excitement of sharing a sexual experience with Craig goes far beyond the quick thrill of cheating.

Fantasies about cheating are just that. There isn't anything wrong with them as long as you don't act on them.

I believe this is just another case where everyone is different.

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Zoe

Mayfield PA

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Can't answer for others, but my personal opinion is that any one human being that does something behind a partner's back, is cheating and personally I don't see it as being a part of this lifestyle, unless you are a single. As a couple, I nor the Mr. would never sneak, lie, nor cheat, because and again, this is my opinion, have had it done in prior relationships and it only destroys trust and makes it hard to trust after that destruction occurs. To me, lying is just not in my vocabulary.

Ms. Wildlife

Jerome PA

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People cheat for many different reasons. The "thrill" of it, as a way of lashing out at a partner, a way they respond to problems at home, etc. I've seen and talked to many, many cheaters of both genders over the years and rarely has it been just about the sex, or lack of it. Some were swingers and most were not.

Though swingers tend to have a more open view on sex and relationships they are still just a cross section of society. Statistics will hold true for the most part. Most still speed, some will commit crimes, and yes some will cheat.

For some reason, I doubt that answers your question. So, yes, I still have fantasies of meeting a woman and we are overcome with an animalistic lust requiring us to drop everything for a few hours of fun. Is that cheating? We certainly have our opinion on it. Society would probably have an opinion different than us though.

Jennings LA

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After reading the newest of the SLS "Sex Stories" I was left wondering what it had to do with swinging. No mention was made in the story of being swingers, but the lady of the house got up in the middle of the night and fucked the college boy staying over at their house that night.

Is THIS swinging? There have been a few other Sex Stories that made me wonder too - in which someone screwed someone without their spouse's knowledge.

I just wonder if it's a common thing for swingers to have fantasies about cheating behind their spouse's back. Or is it very common for swingers to mix swinging AND cheating in their sexual adventures? Is there something especially appealing about the sneakiness of cheating that makes it attractive even to people who openly swing with other couples?

I don't expect anyone to confess if they do cheat as well as swing, but I'm curious about how common swingers think it is that couples cheat in addition to swinging. And I'm not talking about couples who play or "date" separately by mutual agreement. I'm talking about having sex without your spouse's knowledge.