1. Sorry Even Matters
2. Your Secret’s Safe with Me
3. The Insignificants
4. Changing of the Seasons
5. Learn To Be Happy
6. Blind and Screaming
7. I Will Be Fine
8. Rewind The Tape
9. Completely Buried
10. Better I Swear
11. Tour Vans and Neurosis
12. No Truer Life

Death of the Dreaming (2007) – Delphine Records

1. This Record will Start Skipping
2. Better I Swear
3. Your Secret’s Safe with Me
4. Completely Buried
5. Sentences Left Incomplete
6. This Could be Salvation
7. Your Friends will Forgive You
8. Last Last Time

The Manifest Destiny Rebellion (2005) – 10-34 Records

This is Not a Song

Learn To Be Happy

Changing of the Seasons

Drive Away

I will be Fine

A List of Demands

Sorry Even Matters

Tour Vans and Neurosis

Life is so Rad

I Love You…Get Away From Me

Blind and Screaming

This Apology (Hidden Track)

The Truth About Lies ( A Collection of Early Songs) (2003) – 10-34 Records

Two days in London and my whole world has changed
Fifteen years and thousands of miles but this feeling is the same
Two days in London and my world’s turned upside down
Everything I thought I loved quickly fades into background

And I’m awoken by the knock from the hotel maid
Oh no, I explained, the girl who was here now has gone
Only I have stayed. Draw the curtains tight
Please don’t let any light find its way inside
When she’s gone I’m not so strong
So maybe today I can just stay here and hide

Two days in London now everything has changed
Hold me tight in the Underground kiss me sweetly on the train
Two days in London, my eyes are open wide
At every possibility to turn around this dead end life

————————————————————————————————

Angels (Took You From Me)

I am left with these nights hiding out in a hotel room
High above the city
I am left with those days taking each other’s photographs
And wandering the streets

I had just gotten back from overseas
You had written a letter asking if you could come stay with me
You had left me a message asking if I could call you please
And the very next night the angels took you away in your sleep

Now I am left with those nights driving around in Washington
Trying to find you
And I am left with the way that you jumped up into my arms
The first moment I saw you
And I am left with these pictures and all of these memories
Of our fragile little life
I am left with the guilt and the deep understanding that I
I never said goodbye

———————————————————————

Another Year Alive

Well you can look up to the sky
And you stare out at the horizon
But this is what you’ve waited for
So go ahead and take your time
Watch the season dying
But this is what you’ve waited for

So you can keep on waiting
But I am not waiting
Because we’re never going to find
Another moment like this again

And I have waited all my life
For a moment like tonight
And I have waited up all night
For the chance to make you mine
And all I want to do is make it
Through another year alive

You can look into the past
Try to find some answers
But this is what you’ve waited for
And you can let this moment pass
Slip between your fingers
But this is what you’ve waited for

And you can keep on waiting
Keep hesitating
But you’re never going to find
Another moment like this again

And I have waited all my life
For a moment like tonight
And I have waited up all night
For the chance to make you mine
And all I want to do is make it
Through another year alive

—————————————————-

Blind and Screaming

sleep now, sweetheart.
i will watch over you.
you’re sleeping deeper
as sleep comes creeping in the room.
drift off baby.
i’ll sit and wait for you
to come back and say to me
“i’ll always stay with you.”

so sleep now, sweetheart.
i will watch over you.

sleep now, sweetheart.
i will watch over you
you’re sleeping deeper
as shadows bleed across the room
when i get needy
i know you’ll be there for me
when i’m blind and screaming
i know you’ll take care of me

so sleep now, sweetheart
i will watch over you
sleep now, sweetheart
i will watch over you

—————————————-

Changing Of The Seasons

i went to blossom in the morning
sat on the roof of my car
wanted to write something important
haven’t come up with anything so far

i was thinking about leaving
just cash my chips in and walk away
’cause it’s the changing of the seasons
and my blue skies have all turned gray

i was thinking would it matter
if you never saw me again
’cause my life is torn and tattered
and i know you’ll never ever let me in

i was thinking about leaving
’cause i don’t feel the need to stay
’cause it’s the changing of the seasons baby
and my blue skies have all turned gray

the sun’s been stolen from my sky
endless days fade into night
and i have lived my life in darkness so long
well can you shed some light?

i was thinking of driving real fast
just cash my chips in and walk away
and it’s the changing of the seasons baby
and my blue skies have all turned gray

i’ve been thinking about leaving
’cause i don’t feel the need to stay
and it’s the changing of the seasons baby
and my blue skies have all turned to gray…

and on… and on… and on…

———————————————————————————-

Daily Drowning

i used to think that only i felt this way
that no one understood the storms inside me
that no one else could hear when the waves came crashing
but someone should have seen me slowly sinking
at night i used to dream that love had found me
then wake up once again for my daily drowning
and always everything in which i ache
is endlessly out of my reach

so i go back in time
and i try to find
my earliest of childhood memories
and it’s undefined
but i know it’s mine
when i hear it inside a melody
i can go back there anytime i need

i used to think my friends would stay beside me
i used to think my life had some kind of meaning
i used to feel this passion burn inside me
i used to believe in a higher calling
at night i used to dream that i was flying
then wake up once again to a life of falling
and always everything in which i ache
is endlessly out of my reach

i put the headphones on
let the music start
and drown away the world
it’s only in a song
i feel like i belong
that i feel understood
so i escape through 16 bars of time
travel down each metered line
each couplet caries me much closer
to all the truths i’ve left behind

Dead at 27

looking back on the past 12 months
a year that never was
i just couldn’t seem to get it off the ground
and now summer’s memory
and i’d fall for anything
but i don’t every thing you’re coming back around

you said that i was so nihilistic
yeah you were always so over this shit
you said you never thought i’d settle down

you said i thought you’d be dead at 27
you’d be dead at 27

jumping off of balconies
only black below our feet
four stories falling through the night
until water reaches us
so deep it stings our lungs
this is a test to prove that were alive

and you were always so scared for me
and your concern was oh so sweet
i remember when you said to me

you said i thought you’d be dead by 27
you’d be dead at 27

and you know that sounded fun
but i am an only son
and i really want to make my mother proud
so i write my little rhymes
and i sing these little lines
just hoping somewhere someone feels
the same way i do

because i thought i’d be dead at 27
i’d be dead by now i’d be dead by now

———————————————————————————-

Drive Away

crying as you’re driving
as the rain falls from the sky
and you’re thinking about leaving
as a tear falls from your eye
and no one ever has the right
to make you feel the way you feel tonight

somehow someway
i will make this all ok
i know someday
we will both drive away

needing and i’m bleeding
as my friends just turn away
they are lying and deceiving
as they never meant to stay
and no one has ever felt the way
the way i feel about you today

somehow someway
i will make this all ok
i know someday
we will both drive away

and if you wanted we could leave tonight…

somehow someway
i will make this all ok
i know someday
we will both drive away—————————————-

Faerie Under Finger

If I talked to God tonight
It’d be for the first time in my life
and he’d probably say to me
“Enough with the songs about your ex-girlfriend”

You said to me one time
“Only write songs with one person in mind”
So I’ll write this song to you
And I hope to God it’ll be the last one

I hope you find someone new
I hope he takes care of you
I hope he treats you right
I hope you have a really nice life

We share some cosmic bond
Some fucked up thing
That’s made us both crazy
And I don’t know how it got to this
But I’m pretty sure how this will end

You know I’m happy now
I found a girl who really makes me smile
I think when the time is right
The two of us will probably get married

But I can’t sleep for dreaming
About you hovering over my bed
And smiling at me as you
Slit your writsts
And I go blind from all the
Blood you’ve shed

Faded memories still linger
Like your faerie under my finger

If I talked to God tonight
He’d probably tell me
Get on with my life
But how can I keep moving forward
When I’m constantly looking back

We share some cosmic bond
Some fucked up thing
That’s made us both crazy
And I don’t know how it got to this
But I’m pretty sure how this will end

——————————

Grand Guignol

wait a minute
my hearts not in it
my blood runs cold
and i just can’t quit it
it’s too much take me
back to the beginning
because i’m not the one
i’m not the one

sorry darling
i know you’re very charming
but the knife you hold
behind your back
is getting quite alarming
sweet sweat
give me something more disarming
because you’re not the one
you’re not the one
and i’m not the one
i’m not the

sink your teeth in deep
lay me down
i’ll never go to sleep again
i trust in sin
i let you in
so lay me down my soul to reap

your black magic
charming vulnerable and tragic
you’re rosy red lipped
for this esbat addict
this grand guignol
has reached it’s final act
but i’m not the one i’m not the one
no i’m not the one
i’m not the

sink your teeth in deep
lay me down
i’ll never go to sleep again
i trust in sin
i let you in
so lay me down my soul to reap

wait

—————————

Hannah Bond

If I could save you from drowning tonight
I would give my life for you right now and
I swear that I would trade with you
If you’d stayed with me because
I can’t face the night all alone

We are the only ones who feel this pain
The lonely ones who scar the same and
We fear the same mistakes each other make cause
We are the only

One night it just takes one frantic night
To take you from your bloodsmile overdramatic eyes
So carelessly you slip into the warmth of a
Double edged goodbye. Goodbye.

We are the only ones who feel this pain
The lonely ones who scar the same and
We fear the same mistakes each other make cause
We are the only ones

If I could save you from drowning tonight
If I could save you from drowning tonight
If I could save you from drowning tonight I would

We are the only ones who feel this pain
The lonely ones who scar the same and
We fear the same mistakes each other make cause
We are the only ones

—————————————————————————————–

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

i’ve got a deviated septum
from my deviant behavior
and i’d die with you
i’d die with you
here at the dawning of the daylight
but i dare say they might catch us
when the sun catches our skin
but it’d be so glorious
so glorious
that i dare say we should let them
this is the story of my summer vacation

i was hanging out with your friend one time
i guess you told her once
that you wished you were mine
she said you liked me while making fun of you
i went to where you worked
to see if it were true

nights full of thrills
talking shit and chasing pills
getting bounced from all the clubs
blacking out and making love

it was sometime in the summer
we lost track of who we were
when the features start to blur
it was sometime in the summer
we said goodbye to our old loves
and made the pact to light this world on fire

late nights of drinking until we’re blind
red lights and blurry yellow lines
high speeds and higher clouded mindes
it felt so right at least at the time
holding hands
falling asleep making plans
until the tourists find us sleeping in the sand

it was sometime in the summer
we lost track of who we were
when the features start to blur
it was sometime in the summer
we said goodbye to our old loves
and made the pact to light this world on fire

all bridges were burned
that’s how we were living
all scars were earned
no fucks were given
two lovers scorned
racing towards the ending
we watched our lives burn

i’ve got a deviated septum
from my deviant behaviour
and i’d die with you
i’d die with you
i’d die with you
i’d die with you

_____________________________________________

How to Avoid Large Ships

it was sometime in the summer
when you said you’d stay forever
you later said that you were sorry
when you left me in september
and your statements sang the sorrow
like the coldness of the winter
but i’m in no state to stray outside
so i’ll stay in and remember

you were so sorry so sincere
so long take care
so sorry so sincere
so long take care of yourself

then silently winter slid into spring
as i solemnly studied your latest flings
that you tried to keep quiet
but tounges will sing
but don’t worry my lover
it don’t mean a thing to
me and you will never part
you can try to replace me
with cehap imitations
tell them you love them
then break their hearts with a

so sorry so sincere
so long take care
so sorry so sincere
so long take care of yourself

she may be the tune on my lips
but you are the melody
endlessly playing
in my memory

____________________________________________

Hurt Before

i wanna love you but i’ve been hurt before
and i’m not certain i have it in me anymore
you tell me that you’re different
but how can i be sure
i want to love you but i’ve been hurt before

and i have loved
and i have lost
i have given everything
to never have it returned to me
i wanna love but i don’t know if i believe

each time i try
i’m blindsided
hurt by those that meant the most
more than i will ever show
i wanna love you but i’m scared to let you close

please don’t hurt me i don’t know if believe

please don’t hurt me

_______________________________________

I am the Villain

something turned off like a light switch
when you said what you said
i know i’d never want to see you again
i used to think i could love you
then you did what you did
and now i don’t think we can even be friends

i don’t want to hear your voice
i don’t want to see your face
you know you had a choice
you made your lonely little bed
and now there’s nothing you can do but lay

so you go go go
you run away so far away
but it’s never far enough
no it’s never fare enough
and you know know know
you are your worst enemy
but to you i am the villain
i am the villain

then something just clicked inside mo
because you are who you are
and i will never ever get you to change
you just seemed so damaged
you were mad at the world
and i thought i could help you see through the rage

so you built your walls right up
brick by brick to keep me away
i tried to earn your trust
so you cast me as a villain so you didnt
have to live with the pain

somethings you can’t take back
there are things you can’t retract
i guess we’ll never speak again
i guess i’ll have to be ok with that
there are things you can’t take back
my god well i know that
i guess we’ll never speak again
i guess i’ll have to be ok with that

and now i know we will never be anything
and now i know i will never be anything you need

_________________________________________________________

I Love You…Get Away From Me

i think it’s a joke
the way that you apologize
and it hurts
knowing you can lie while looking in my eyes
and you laugh
but this is no joke this is my life
and you cry
but tears won’t make this alright

and when we lay together
and i ask you what you’re thinking
you will tell me “nothing really”
i know your “nothing really”
has a face and a name
and here i thought that we were both the same
oh no

so yeah maybe i’m afraid of me
and what i’ll say instinctively
when i’m with you don’t know what to do
i’m grounded by your platitude
and what i need is some room to breath
away from all this apathy
so write this down in your diary:
he said ” i love you…get away from me”

i think it’s a joke
the way you say you understand
cause you don’t
there’s no way for you to comprehend

and when we lay together
and you ask me what i’m thinking
i will tell you “nothing really”
know my “nothing really”
has a face and a name
know that i have learned to play your game
oh no

so yeah maybe i’m afraid of me
and what i’ll say instinctively
when i’m with you don’t know what to do
i’m grounded by your platitude
and what i need is some room to breath
away from all this apathy
so write this down in your diary
he said “i love you…get away from me”

sometimes when we lay together…——————————————-

I Will Be Fine

i will be fine
i will not miss her
i’ll just spend the night
in my bed with some scissors
they’ll snip where she slept
and they’ll cut where she kissed
they’ll carve the word “nothing”
while i am not missed
and i will be fine

i will be fine
i will not cry
i won’t stay up
late at night wondering why
i will not focus
on details i miss
how she never once
closes her eyes when we kiss
and i will be fine

i will lie here
with each sharpened memory
shears you can not take from me
with mere lies and treachery
and we’ll remember
every broken promise made
with each crimson line we lay
with such perfect symmetry

i am not a hollow shell…

i will be fine
i am not empty
i’ll just walk around
like a ghost in this city
i’ll smile when we meet
and i’ll say polite hi
and i’ll never once tell her
how i want to die
cause i will be fine

i will lie here
with each sharpened memory
shears you can not take from me
with mere lies and treachery
and we’ll remember
every broken promise made
with each crimson line we lay
with such perfect symmetry———————————————

Inhale/Exhale

Inhale, breathe in the night be glad that we’re alive
Cause it’s true there’s something about me and you
That’s impossible to define
And I’ll stay awake all night if you stay awake all night

Exhale, breathe out the past. You’re not the girl you were
They want to keep you behind glass all ribbons and curls
To me you’re so much more
To me you’re so much more than that

Exhale, breath out the ghosts you’ve kept tied to your dreams

I promise I won’t let that haunt you if you should fall asleep
I won’t leave your side
I won’t leave your side until morning’s light

And you inhale feel lungs expand the first breath of a brand new life
Promise me your fashion will be hearts on sleeves and if yours fails

You can have mine
Inhale

Inhale breath in the night be glad that we’re alive
Inhale

——————————————————————————————

A Last Retrospect

These past few months have been impossible to take
It’s impossible to shake this loneliness since you went away
And I’m afraid that this feeling is forever
And somehow I will never be the same since you said

You said baby let go until I am just a memory
Because darling you know it’d make it easier on me
And what came before could be just a shadow of a dream
So baby let go until there is no more you and me

These past few nights have been the longest of my life
I’m scared that I might die from this emptiness since you said goodbye
I don’t know why you said we’d be forever
If you never meant forever all this time why’d you lie

You said baby let go until I am just a memory
Because darling you know it’d make it easier on me
And what came before could be just a shadow of a dream
So baby let go until there is no more you and me

—————————————————————————–

Learn To Be Happy

i heard that you like him
in fact that you are smitten
i heard that he has tattoos
i heard that his band’s real cool

and i cannot believe
this is happening to me
i thought we’d be forever
and i’d learn to be happy

i heard that you kissed him
on a lonely wooden bench
behind a cemetery
where my martyrs laid to waist

and i cannot believe
this is happening to me
i thought we’d be forever
and i’d learn to be happy

bleeding for hollywood
maybe if you suffer long enough
someone will publicize this tragedy

and i cannot believe
i cannot believe
this is happening to me
and i cannot believe
i cannot believe
i cannot believe yeah

bleeding for hollywood
maybe if you suffer long enough
someone will publicize this tragedy—————————————–

Life Is So Rad

i wanna make you sad
i wanna make you cry
i wanna make you feel the way
i feel inside

and i won’t ever be alright
no i won’t ever be alright

i wanna loose your face
to forget your name
would be the change i need
so i can face the day again

but i won’t ever be alright
no i won’t ever be alright

you heard the anxiousness and urgency
if my voice on the phone
and the little voice inside your head
said “he shouldn’t be alone”
so picked me up and you held me up
and said “when’s this gonna end?”
when you’re not with him

and i won’t ever be alright
no i won’t ever be alright

——————————————-

Lil Emily

I found myself lost in Chicago
What I hoped to find there I don’t know
What I found is that I’m still alone
And I probably should be heading home

One of these days I’ll find a girl who’ll care for me
And she’ll want to start a family
And she won’t have to lie
About all those other guys
But for now I know I’m not worthy

I spent the summer on my father’s land
Dug my toes in Carolina sand
Listened hard to what my Grandmother sang
Promised my mom I’d be a better man

One of these days I’ll find a girl who’ll wanna be my bride
She’ll take great pride to stand right by my side
But until then I have my band
And we’ll hop into the van
And we’ll tour this whole world wide

Whatever happened to my empathy
What happened to my sense of dignity
And when did I grow up
When the fuck did I lose touch
And just start playing for your sympathy

—————————————————

A List Of Demands

considering the pain you bring
with every memory
i am alive and reconsidering
every little thing

just like the faded folded photograph
that haunts me in my dreams
i’ve got this funny fucked up feeling
that you’re nothing like you seem
so won’t you think of me in the silent moment
before you go to sleep
because i think of you with memories stolen
i want to lock you up
and keep you safe from harm
just out of reach
tucked away hidden and underneath

and i can’t help but be this way
but i am changing every day
and the harder that it seems
it just grows that much more important to me

considering the scene you’re in
white belts and black jackets
bandannas peering out of back pockets
cigarettes and sunglasses
you’ve got your attitudes and your alcohol
won’t sleep alone tonight
i’d rather be alone than lonely
with you anti-socialites
i miss my dog
and that big blue van
and i hate all your friends
you love your scene so much so keep all that

and i can’t help but be this way
but i am changing every day
and the harder that it seems
it just grows that much more import to me

i’ve got this little idea
to list my demands right here
for all the world to see
just to proclaimate them
and encapsulate them
may be all the help i need
so here goes…

not to be so negative
not so argumentative
not to be possessive
and not to be so aggressive
not to be judgmental
and not to be so serious
not to have this cloud
hanging over my head
and not to be so lonely
i’ve got to snap out of this
not to be a liar
and not to be so cynical
i’ve no control

and i can’t help but be this way
but i am changing every day
and the harder that it seems
it just grows that much more
important to me———————————————–

Nothing Special

At one point in my life
I was vain enough to think that I
Could touch you and make you smile
But now that we’re face to face
Those feelings have been replaced
And I still see the sadness in your eyes

I don’t feel like standing
So I guess I’ll just sit here
And I don’t feel like talking
So excuse me if i stare
And I don’t need this in my life
I loved you for no reason
But I am nothing special
I am nothing special
I am nothing special

And everything he’s ever said
Was stolen from some book he’s read
While everything I told you
Came from my heart
But we’re not talking anymore
It’s not the same not like before
And it’s so sad we’ve grown
So far apart

I don’t feel like standing
So I guess I’ll just sit here
And I don’t feel like talking
So excuse me if i stare
And I don’t need this in my life
I loved you for no reason
But I am nothing special
I am nothing special
I am nothing special

And I said “I wana see you again
I wanna come over and just see you”
And she said “I don’t think that’s such a great idea
You know I don’t ever wanna see you again”
And i said “When can I see you again
I wanna come over
I wanna see you again and see you again”
And she said “Oh no. I dont ever want to see you again
I dont think that this is right and no
you know we can’t be friends”
And I said “No no no
You can’t do this to me
You can’t keep fading in and out
And fading fading endlessly”
And she said “No no no
You can’t do this to my life
You can’t keep waltzing in and out
Whenever the mood hits you right”

I don’t feel like standing
So I guess I’ll just sit here
And I don’t feel like talking
So excuse me if i stare
And I don’t need this in my life
I loved you for no reason
But I am nothing special
I am nothing special
I am nothing special at all

——————————

Please Lie To Me

You’re not like them
Those other girls who all love to play pretend
Fake facades with names to match
Wearing makeup like a mask
To hide the faces of their past
But then there’s you

You’re open water reaching sunset
The smile of a daughter I have not met yet
I was lonely all along, never thought I could belong
With someone like you
I hope that I was wrong

Because now I know with you I am home
And if you know just say so
But if you don’t

Time and time again so hard I have tried
Through gritted teeth and burning eyes I have cried
And every lonely night when I felt like I might die
I never dreamed that I would find a better life

But now I know with you I am home
So if you know it just say so
But if you don’t

Please lie to me
Tell me you love me even if you don’t believe
Tell me you’re lonely baby and I’ll agree
Tell me you feel that I’m just what you need
We fit perfectly when you lie with me
Tell me your secrets baby confide in me
I’ll be your best friend and your diary
So baby please please please please

Now I know with you I am home
So if you know it in your soul baby tell me so
But if you don’t

Lie to me
Tell me you love me even if you don’t believe
Tell me you’re lonely baby and I’ll agree
Tell me you feel that I’m just what you need
We fit perfectly when you lie with me
Tell me your secrets, confide in me

I’ll be your best friend and your diary
So baby please lie to me

—————————————————————–

REWIND THE TAPE

I can do better I swear I promise
I’ll do my best to not get so nervous
And I can trust you and not get so jealous
Of the other ones that came before me and I
I can hold you without being needy
I can be there without being smothering
And I won’t compare you anymore
To the other ones that came before you and I
I’ll be there everytime that you need me to talk it
out or to just sit silently I’ll give you space everytime that you need it
I’ll keep you safe when you can’t think clearly

I want so badly to rewind the tape
To shut my mouth and to take back what I said
I want so badly to make this ok
To shut my eyes and to hear you say you’ll stay
You’ll come back to me

I can do better I swear to god
I’ll be more normal I’ll not be so flawed
And I can hold it together unlike
Those other nights that came before this and I
I can listen and not be judgemental
I can provide with love unconditional
Restricted tension to every detail
Please forget about the me you knew before
And I’ll be there everytime that you need me
To talk it out or to just sit silently
I’ll give you space everytime that you need it
I’ll keep you safe when you can’t think clearly

I want so badly to rewind the tape
To shut my mouth and to take back what I said
I want so badly to make this ok
To shut my eyes and to hear you say you’ll stay
You’ll come back to me
You’ll come back to me
You’ll come back to me
You’ll come back to me…

I want so badly to rewind the tape
To shut my mouth and to take back what I said
I want so badly to make this ok
To shut my eyes and to hear you say you’ll stay
I want so badly to rewind the tape
To shut my mouth and to take back what I said
I want so badly to make this ok
To shut my eyes and to hear you say you’ll stay
You’ll come back to me
You’ll come back to me
You’ll come back to me
You’ll come back to me…
_____________________________________________________

The Same Old Song

sing me a song
and fill it with sorrow
but end with the promise
of a new tomorrow
because there’s something broken inside me
there’s something broken inside me

sing me a story
dark and forbidden
but end with the moral
and a happy ending
because there’s something broken inside me
there’s something broken inside me

it’s the same old song
and we’d sing along
with the stereo on
it’s that same old tune
you’d hum in your room
when we were all alone

all alone

so sing me a song
and fill it with longing
but end with the promise
of a new day dawning
because there’s something broken inside me
there’s something broke inside me

_____________________________________________________

Samsāra

Are we like children wandering in the cold
Lost and all alone just waiting to be called home
All my life I’ve waited for a sign
All this time spent waiting
I’m waiting for the ending

When I am laid to peace I pray that it’s like sleep
With all my friends surrounding me
This waking world a dream when I am finally free
With everyone I’ve ever loved surrounding

Can you feel it
Coursing through your blood
Deep inside your bones
When we leave do we leave alone
And all my life we’ve waited for a sign
All this time spent waiting
I’m waiting for an ending

When I am laid to peace I pray that it’s like sleep
With all my friends surrounding me
This waking world a dream when I am finally free
With everyone I’ve ever known surrounding

I will be free
Free from the memories

When I am laid to peace I pray that it’s like sleep
With all my friends surrounding me
This waking world a dream when I am finally free
With everyone I’ve ever known surrounding

—————————————————————————–

Shelf Life

I headed head first into infatuation
You headed home to honor your grandmother’s memory
And I hate to think of how he held you
And how his words provided much needed comforting
So I headed East across the Carolinas
To visit Ruby by the sea
I’ve never seen a soul so sincere
In a girl with such short life expectancy

It seems the shelf life of my friends is far below average
We all expire in our prime

And a late night frantic phone call left me shaken
And you’re cutting off your hair to change your life
But a difference in makeup can’t make up for the things you hide
And your new style can’t cover what’s inside

Names are tattooed on and covered with broken hearts
X’d out arms tingle with drunken shots
A change of address comes with a change of name
For years a waste now such a shame
What’s in a name anyway

It seems the shelf life of our love is far past due
It expired long ago

Cause you’re not the girl you used to be
And I’m not the boy you used to dream you’d meet
We’re not the people we pretend to be
Rock n roll kings and model queens

But we rarely speak anymore
No we barely speak anymore
And I can’t remember when we stopped saying I Love You
I love you still

——————————————————————————-

Sorry Even Matters

i wanted something better than this

there’s something missing in you eyes
the light’s been gone from them
for days and nights are lonely
when you go away

there’s something missing in your smile
is there something you want to
say to me but you’re
afraid to say

and i know that you know
what it’s like to be alone
and you know, i know
what it’s like feeling alone

i don’t know and i’m not sure
if sorry is good enough anymore
i don’t know and i’m not sure
if sorry even matters

there’s something missing in my life
is there something i should take
if taking something
takes this pain away

there’s something missing in my life
is there something i should say
if saying something
makes you say you’ll stay

and i know that you know
what it’s like to feel alone
you know, i know
what it’s like being alone

i don’t know, i’m not sure
if sorry is good enough any more
i don’t know and i’m not sure
if sorry even matters

cause i wanted something better than this

—————————————–

This Apology

It’s not alright. It’s not ok.
It’s not enough that you feel this way.
It’s not alright and it’s not ok.
It’s not enough that we feel the same.

I will write this apology.
Line after line I will rhyme this apology.
Time after time I will find it’s so hard to say I’m sorry.

Dear Love, I like this love.
But a love like this is likely to level me.
Dear Love, I like this love.
But a love like this is likely to level me.

I will write this apology.
Line after line I will rhyme this apology.
Time after time I will find it’s so hard to say I’m sorry.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

——————————–

This is Not a Song

this is not a song
this is not a melody
this is just another attempt at a sincere apology

this is not a song
this is not me singing
this is just an open letter this is me apologizing

and this is not a song
these are not lyrics
this is just another way to chase away these spirits

and this is not a song
these are not my words
this is simply me saying sorry to a girl—————————————

Those Beautiful Words

If you loved me
How could you go and leave me
Didn’t you mean anything
Those beautiful words you told me

I hope this finds you one lonely night
And your shatter proof picturesque life
Gets the tiniest fracture line
I hope this finds you and you cry
I have wept till I had no tears left
I was certain it would be my death

And if you loved me
How could you go and leave me
Didn’t you mean anything
Those beautiful words you told me

I hope that you are still looking your best
I’ve dressed for my funeral each day since you left
And I hope that you are surrounded by love
For you it’s never enough

If you loved me
How could you go and leave me
Didn’t you mean anything
Those beautiful words you told me

And I wish you all of the best
A life you can truly call blessed
I hope you find happiness
Just not yet and not with him
I wish you the very best life
You’ll be a beautiful and blushing bride
All the happiness we could not get
Just not yet

Our apartment has three months on the lease
But since you left I just can’t get any sleep
So I packed our belongings, turned it into storage
And moved down the street

Now I still visit when I need some things
The weight of our former life hangs here heavily
You say you still love me. I want to believe
Please come home to me

If you loved me
How could you go and leave me
Didn’t you mean anything
Those beautiful words you told me

——————————————————

Tonight Might Save My Life

The air is crisp tonight
Slips through my lips and stings my lungs
As we run. Run this town. (All black everything)
The moon is low tonight
It lights our way as shadows play
Through the streets. The streets we own

Oh for so long I’ve been falling
So long I have fallen for their lies
At what price?

Tonight might save my life
Tonight might save my life
If you care for me now just be there for me now
Come save my life

Time is dead tonight
No sweeping hands or falling sands
As we hide as we lie
War has died tonight
There is no them there’s only us
And we are in love and love is enough

Of for so long we’ve been falling
We fall like the stars from the sky
It’s tonight

Tonight might save my life
Tonight might save my life
If you care for me now just be there for me

And I believe I could find some peace
With you tonight in these city streets
I believe I could finally sleep
To the rhythm of your heartbeat

Tonight might save my life
Tonight might save my life
If you care for me now just be there
Tonight might save my life
Tonight might save my life
If you care for me now just be there for me now
Come save my life
—————————————-

Tour Vans And Neurosis

with another foot closer to the preverbial ledge
with another broken heart and busted edge
with another empty promise that i know i can’t keep
and another fading night because i know i can’t sleep

with everything you are and everything i’m not
with everything i’ve lost and all these vices i’ve got
with every waking second of every fucking day
with all these haunting voices that i wish would go away

and i am praying for rain to fall down on me
and wash off the pain that i’ve grown to need

i am praying for rain to fall down on me
they say it’s cleansing and i believe

they say regret looks back confusion looks around
they say faith looks to the sky so i focus on the ground
cause i’m stepping on the cracks practicing what i can say
just to try to make it better or just make it ok

and i am praying for rain
to fall down on me
and wash off the pain
that i’ve grown to need

i am praying for rain
to fall down on me
they say it’s cleansing

and you ask “are you mad at me?” and i confirm
you don’t even bother asking why you’re unconcerned
from kicking you out to kissing in the rain
this life is like a bad romance movie
so goodbye to old lovers goodbye to this town
goodbye to my friends who feel they once knew me well

cause i got me some songs and i got me a band
and i got me a day job to buy me a van
and i’m leaving this town and you people i hate
and i’ll smile to myself as we hit the next state

and i am praying for rain
to fall down on me
and wash off the pain
that i’ve grown to need

someone turn down the sun
bring me some night
i can’t stand the way
i look in this daylight

i am praying for rain
to fall down on me
and wash off the pain
that i’ve grown to need

i am praying for rain
to fall down on me
they say it’s cleansing
and i believe

they say that miracles never cease
well i am totally alone
they say the history just repeats and repeats
i am once again on my own

——————————————-

The Truth About Lies

Watching her sleep
So soft and sweet
Rhythmic breathing
Simple poetry
And the truth about lies is

The wind rushes in
Caresses skin
Where my lips have been
Just a moment ago
And the truth about lies is
And the truth about lies is

And the truth about lies
the truth about lies sleeping peacefully
And the truth about lies
the truth about lies is resting quietly

————————————-

When The Ball Drops (Or Nua Lang Syne)

Even though we tried so hard
We just couldn’t be together for the first snowfall
And oh I know I know you told me so
We both had obligations to fulfill

You said “it’s all part of growing up”
And I know that your band is blowing up right now
You gotta go when you say you gotta go
And I know exactly how you feel

But the holidays are hard alone
And I don’t know if I can get through this
On my own with you on the road
And a countdown tonight is supposed to end with a kiss
This new year

If we only had one night together
Forever and ever
Know that I would trade a lifetime
For one night

(Ten) The countdown starts with anticipation
(Nine) The crowds ready for a celebration
(Eight) The lights dim as everybody counts down
(Seven) I’m wondering where you are right now
(Six) I scan the crowd thinking maybe she’ll surprise me
(Five) With a sly smile she sneak up behind me
(Four) Wrap her arms around me whisper she’s mine
(Three Two One) The clock strikes twelve and I’ve run out of time

But the holidays are hard alone
And I don’t know if I can get through this
On my own with you on the road
And a countdown tonight is supposed to end with a kiss
This new year

If we only had one night together
For ever and ever
Know that I would trade a lifetime
For one night

What if I couldn’t stay?
What if you wouldn’t wait?
What if you went away?
Who would save me?
What if I’m all alone?
No distractions at all?
Who would save me?

What should I say when you say “I can’t do this”?
How exactly do you think that I can get through this?
Who will you be with when the countdown starts?
Who will you kiss when the ball drops?