I’ve been living out the philosophy of unconditional parenting, but still have my moments of frustration, too. Here is what I wrote and saved on my computer for my personal inspiration:

Every night I will recommit to unconditional parenting. My daughter is a terrific toddler, not a terrible twoser! When I feel frustrated, instead of showing her disappointment, I will smile at her and hug her. Right now, other parents are weeping for a child who left their homes and hearts too soon. I will see my child as a blessing, every day and every moment as a blessing.

5 Ways to Step out of Punitive Parenting:

5. When you take that deep breath to begin to yell, close your mouth and hold it for as long as you can, then slowly exhale while counting to 5.

4. If you are just *too* mad and cannot think straight; if all children are safe, just step out of the room. Just run for it!

3. Make eye contact. Smile. It can be extremely disarming and change the mood instantly.

2. Yell out: “EXERCISE TIME!” Start doing jumping jacks and encourage your children to join you. Get the anger out, reduce your hormonal levels and get some happy endorphins. Your kids will be momentarily jolted out of their mischief as they stare at you in confusion (or horror if older). Who knows, sometimes they join in...

1. You’ve heard it shouted from the rooftops for couples in romantic relationships. And it definitely works for children, too. Maintain loving physical touch with your children. If you want to spank or yell, get down on your knees to their level. Look them in the eyes. Hold their hands. Can you still spank? Can you still yell while looking into your child’s eyes and holding your child? Your voice will automatically soften and your hands will be busy holding, not hitting.

Last night I had an Unconditional Parenting opportunity. DD ran into the bathroom to wash her hands after lunch. I heard giggling. I stepped into a toilet paper wonderland. I heard my voice go up, my mouth started to say, "OH NO! What have you done!" Then I thought to myself...it's 25 cents a roll. It's my fault for not supervising her. My perspective changed. My emotions changed from anger to joy. I appreciated my two babies. And I found out that toilet paper can actually be a Godsend!

Should something that results in a toddler kissing her baby brother be discouraged?

This is awesome encouragement for me! I love that you are not encouraging spanking, but you are not encouraging ridiculous ideas about some overly positive re-enforcements where it is actually just as negative for the child as spanking can be. You strike a perfect balance! Thank you, thank you!

Thank you. Remember, do you want to punish or teach. Teaching involves words and respect. Realize as an adult you have all the authority, power, large size, smarts, control over this young person who has nothing. Why would you deminish yourself with all that and resort to physical. Every time you practice restraining yourself from a swat you are creating a new habit and it will get easier each time. Soon enough you will never consider a spanking. You will be smarter and so will your child. My child showed me what he needed to learn and what I needed to learn too. Think of someone bigger than you and what it might look and feel like if they chose to punish you with a spanking.

I will warn you, that the GCM page, does encourage spanking. I got onto their fb page to ask for advice or resources. A woman, who claimed to be the owner of the page, seriously railed against me for not wanting to spank. She suggested I get on the group to read about all the kids having tantrums, because "it doesn't work" not to spank. I promptly "unliked" the page and refrained from visiting the group.