Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.. It's true you and I
have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've
been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice your hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was
'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if
you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my
sister because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag
was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed
$50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I
hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica
, but when I got home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted...
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & .....Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I
hope that's not a problem.