Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Age of Innocence OR Age of Awareness?? ~ From a nomad's diary

While the world is busy pondering over whether Vidya Balan Is preggers or
not, or why Kareena Kapoor won't have lunch with Ajay Devgan or for that
matter, did Sussane demand a 400 cr alimony from Hrithik, the core issues
of the country struggle to stay afloat in the cacophony of the celebrity world.
The first time I heard about the Vibgyor school incident in the news, it churned
the pit of my stomach. Sometimes, when I am deeply affected by something, words
fail me, and so do the thoughts. There is a numbness that sets in when the
unbearable trauma of a six year old’s life makes headlines and way to protests,
as the tormentors are yet to deserve their due (which should be death).

As a mother, I am worried. I am worried not just about my
child’s safety, but about the trust between a parent and a school. Somewhere,
the trust seems to have shaken even as these incidents keep happening in the
larger pockets of the city. Even as we watch the news and convince ourselves, “Aah!!
We live in a safe area. Our schools are good with security of children”, the
conscience begs to differ on more occasions than one. And then, the world has come
down to a level where I am supposed to make my three year old understand the
difference between a good touch and a bad touch because the world out there has
paedophiles lurking at every corner as known and unknown faces. To make a child
understand such a thing is not impossible, but that tingling sensation of
teaching a child what he or she need not necessarily know at such a tender age
makes the job all the more rough. Last year, when we mothers had been called at the playschool to help us make our children aware of the good and the bad
people, the session did not entirely make sense to me, as I felt the age2-6 yrs
is way too small and children at this age need to enjoy more on nature’s lap, rather than comprehending about the not so good intentions of people and their actions.
However, the recent incidents in so called developed cities convinces me that such sessions are imperative.

And, as far as schools are concerned, is there a clause that
says “on paper” that it takes sole responsibility of a child in school?
Children are not ‘cars that are parked at the owner’s risk’. If no, such a clause needs to be included mandatorily.
Besides, as parents we need to subtly make our children understand the thin
line of difference between a good touch and a bad touch. We need to ingrain the
point to not respond in any which way to a stranger or an overly friendly acquaintance.
Sometimes, it is not just the strangers but the known ones who camouflage their dark side with smiles and gifts. Most importantly, a child must be taught self defense
techniques at an early age so that he uses them effectively to ward off people
with bad intentions. Last but not the least, for a child’s safety, the first
and the foremost thing to do, as parents we must help our children build an
unconditional trust in us. When that happens, every other ‘tip to be safe’ falls
in place.

The 'age of innocence' is long gone. It is the 'age of
awareness' now. Let’s strive to make this world better by helping our children
become strong mentally, physically and emotionally. Give time to your children. And
as I end this post, there is an image that I came across on FB long back, aptly for all the parents, out there,

Be the change to see the change...!! ~ From a nomad's diary

Give wings to your mind!! ~ From a nomad's diary

So much has been on my mind and what better way than to
blog, to get away with the boat load of feelings that want to be expressed,
need to be expressed but fail to come out at the right time. Recently, I
witnessed a curious case of self defiance, where there were two sides of which
one desperately tried to enter the impermeable mindsets of a self defiant mob,
explaining to them to look beyond the measly troubles and face the challenges
hands down, while the others who had already chosen not to listen countered only what they deemed refutable. The bottom line is discussions cannot happen
when minds are closed. And, the sad part is how people have stopped thinking
and have conveniently allowed themselves to get carried away by the scarier
part – the mob mentality!! What brings me to write this? A lot, indeed. Mainly because, I sometimes don’t feel it appropriate to voice my opinions vocally as more often than not, they are not only misquoted but also used against self. Such experiences leave me no other option but to write. So, before I come to the crux of this post, let me brief you a little bit about the background of this post.

We being a part of the fauj believe a lot in socializing, considering
we have our share of rough times when the husband-wife face temporary
separations owing to the work profile of an army officer. We are practically
away from civil life, shielded from it, oblivious to it and unaware of the
endless grind that happens on the other side. But then, we live a life that
calls for a decorum, a discipline that is indisputable. As for the ladies,
there are a lot of internal ladies meets, events that help the women to groom
themselves in many aspects of their lives besides their careers. And it so
happens, that ladies are often motivated to participate in a lot of programs
like dancing, singing, playing instruments, conducting events etc…..sometimes
by motivation and sometimes by compulsion. As long as the motivation part
sustains, there is a smooth run everywhere with minor glitches like bloated ego issues
and unsolicited criticism. However, when motivation transforms into a compulsion, some major
attitude problems crop up. So, this scenario that I witnessed the other day was
a very open and face to face discussion where our course ladies were asked by a few senior ladies about the reasons
that forced a NO out of the many of us when it came to participating in one of the upcoming events. It is here I am required to mention, none were forced to do anything. We were just asked about our reservations and the reasoning behind them, Leaving four of us (including me) who were ready to
participate, the others slowly and gradually voiced their concerns, anger,
frustration and other reasons for not being able to participate. Some reasons were
genuine. Some were seemingly genuine. And, some were gross. Needless to say, I was even
taken aback when one of the statements I had made with a genuine intention was misquoted.
It did not bother me much, as the statement was comprehended rightly by the
person I addressed. What bothered me however is the internal resistance, a self
defiance, a feeling of mutiny that had been building within the group. However at
the end of the day, I sympathized with the ladies as after all, I was one of them and
considering, some have had certain genuine issues in the past regarding such
participations, I chose to ignore the day’s heat. Finding participants is never
a problem in our world. If there is a lot that chooses to stay away from
participating, there is always another lot that is equally eager. And we for the better knew, why an attitude make over is
crucial at times.

However, talking about the attitude part, the take is very dicey. More often than not, we are on a look out to spot weaknesses in the other. How many times have we sat down and self evaluated ourselves? Are we perfect? If yes, are we perfect always? If no, how do we look at our own imperfections? How do we camouflage them with incredibly unbelievable excuses? And most importantly, what is that tingling sensation in the back of your head that tells you 'something is not just right in the attitude' despite you appearing seemingly comfortable to the world that believes what you say? And then, how ‘Pressures of life’ are too
strong words to be quoted especially to people who have ‘been there, done that’? Certain answers can unveil a side of us we never knew, existed. Previous
bad experiences, misconstrued notions and a lot of procrastination are reasons moderate enough to sham away from participating in an event just for fun. But then, how can a few experiences make you believe that the whole world out there has just one
sole aim and that is to have your happiness? How can a few wrong people you meet
make you believe that everyone out there is pure evil? What if you are going to experience only worse
later? Because, with that pessimistic attitude, one can even spot a Satan in a Jesus. Truth is a bitter pill to digest. I know it for sure now.

Of course, I am a little more relaxed now as the bitter feeling is
long gone because somewhere my mind feels light. And, it is
at this point I remember the lines that I grew up listening to, “Ten percent of
the people who you meet will inspire you in more ways than one. The rest will teach you how not to be. So thank both of them! Yet, most importantly, change your attitude and your world is changed!!”

Sometimes, you need to break away from the herd and choose your own path.
Sometimes, you need to rediscover yourself by not being judgmental from hearsays and experiences that are not yet born.
Sometimes it is just ok to question self and ask, "Am I going to enjoy what I am about to do?". Do not ask people around but yourself. If the answer is yes, run as fast as you can to chase your passions and dreams. People who adore you will be running with you. And the rest shall never be seen.

Amen to that!!

P.S: People who can precisely understand this post are the ones who have given wings to their minds and are ready to see the roses and the thorns together in the rose bush instead of just the thorns. As for the rest, just too bad that we live in a democracy....where I have absolutely got the right to write what I feel is right. :D