My Child Took Over When I Needed Him Too

It was a particularly gorgeous Los Angeles day. Cool, some clouds, sun and the gardens in bloom.

The grounds were spectacular.

My kids roamed and fell into their imaginations. I wondered if I coddled my 7 1/2 year-old boy too much as I sat on a bench waiting for my 2 1/2 year-old to finish her pretzels.

I wanted to freeze time as I look at my two sons bent over brilliant, shining, green grass looking at something they had found. Their two heads touching as they squatted, almost forming a heart.

Towards when it was time to go I could feel my heart acting funny. I have the most common SVT called AVNRT.

My heart can go from a resting rate to 150 and upwards all the sudden out of nowhere.

I suddenly started to feel “funny” and I know that “funny” feeling means my heart my go.

When my heart does go it doesn’t me that anyone has to call 911 but I have been told I might pass out. That scares me because I don’t want anyone to call an ambulance. I have an hour to convert my heart.

My littlest had to go to the bathroom. I looked at my oldest boy and said, honey, my heart is being funny I need you to take her in and take care of her. Really, he asked?

I looked over at a now vacant bench that was filled with two adults moments before.

Just me and the kids and my about to die phone.

I can’t concentrate 100% when I start to feel funny because my nerves kick in and sometimes I feel light headed. I didn’t have my purse with me, with my medication so I quickly texted my husband.

What delighted me while waiting for my husband and doing some things to calm my heart was overhearing my oldest step into the shoes he needed to fill.

That of a mature child knowing his mom, really needed help at that moment.

At one point, he said, mom, seriously the toilet is so big, it made me laugh, just lift her up I said, then I heard her tell him she had a weiner and I laughed a bit more.

I listened to their conversation outside of the stall I had locked myself in to take some deep breaths and rest my head against the wall.

I heard my middle child running back and forth.

I giggled too at how normally my oldest would never do this as he’s grossed out very easily.

The laughter along with his on-set of maturity at a time I needed him to be made me feel calmer as I waited for my husband to arrive with my medication.

Turns out he was yelling my name into another bathroom at Descanso when he arrived because my phone died. People were staring. More reason to laugh.

Once we were all collected as a family and my heart was normal and I had some meds I told my oldest, don’t worry honey, if that happens the worst that can happen is that I will pass out.

Then, what do I do, he asked.

You call dad. I began to explain how to use my phone and then he suddenly blurted out, I need a bank account and then bounded off to chase his younger brother, slipping into the role of care free child.

I was proud of my little guy taking over for me when I needed him to, albeit if only for a few minutes.
Curious if any of you have SVT? I haven’t found many women my age with it. Have you had an ablation? Do you take beta-blockers.

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Since 2008, Expressing Motherhood has given women… and a few men… a platform to share their experiences with the wondrous world of mothering. Whether it be on stage, locally or nationally, in small groups in someone's living room or online, Expressing Motherhood celebrates the creative outlet of spoken word, written word and video as a way to communicate the effects of motherhood on all of us.