Testing the water in online dating

I am not looking for Mr. Right, but since I was writing a story about online dating, I thought it would be a good idea to check out a couple of online dating sites to see what's out there.

What I found was a multiplicity of choices — ethnic, race, sexual preferences, financial status, and even one for married people who want to just date and have fun, but don't want to lie about their marital status.

Although it wouldn't be for me, I do find the last choice rather odd. I guess it is supposed to make it OK, because you didn't lie about being married. Gee, how refreshing.

I chose a better-known dating site and signed up for the 'free trial period' and began the process of filling out my profile for each dating service.

Now, here is where the work begins — so many decisions.

Rating myself with a scale of: not at all to very much so, you are asked 35 questions that include how predictable, how intelligent, how attractive, as well as how quarrelsome, how selfish or how bossy you are.

Although I haven't dated in years, I am pretty sure quarrelsome, selfish and bossy are not traits that will have Prince Charming knocking at my door. That said, I can totally understand why someone would be less than honest filling out the profile.

If you are in a hurry to be somewhere, don't start filling out your profile until you have at least a good hour free.

I have been granted security clearances that asked fewer questions than the profile questionnaire.

Once I finished, the screen assures me all I have to do is sit back and wait because I will soon receive a sample of my most compatible matches by email. I can hardly wait to see what virile and handsome men will come knocking.

I received six possible matches, and all I can say is OMG. Now, I admit I am not perfect, but if the men in the photos were my best match, I am saving my hard-earned money for plastic surgery and a make-over.

OK, I may be a little vain, but seriously, a 62-year-old guy with a bright red mustache and obviously a rug on his head or another guy who brags about traveling and said, "I just visited Arizoni."

All I can say is, if this is what $40 for one month of online dating would get me, I think I'd start going to bingo and see how my chances are there.