Fat Fingers II: THIS TIME, IT’S IN ALL CAPS!

You may or may not believe the story of Elizabeth Frisinger, who excitedly (or post-excitedly) caught a case of Fat Fingers, hit the wrong keys on her iPhone, and sent the first alert of her “first time” to her dad.

The only thing worse that getting pwnt by your own digits on the Most Special Night Of Your Life is getting pwnt by a useless piece of craptastic plastic 20 times a day.

I’m referring, of course, to the Caps Lock key, the bane of the information worker’s existence, and a bad actor for everyone else, too.

I hate the Caps Lock key more than

anything on my computer. I hate firing off my thoughts, only to have to

backtrack and retype because IT ALL GAME OUT LIKE THIS.

The key is worthless. Only two types of people use it:

1.

Psychotics who want to post their sociopathic rants — about the

Illuminati, Hussein Obama or Chinese tanks spotted in Boerne — by

e-screaming them in caps, and

2. TV/Radio people, who traditionally have written their scripts in upper case letters.I’ll leave it for you to draw your own conclusions from that.