KINGSTON, N.Y. -- Sometimes a dispute that seems poised to become a legal battle can be headed off by the parties involved sitting down with a neutral mediator that helps them reach a different solution.

"Mediation is not compromise," Jennifer Halpern, director for the Dispute Resolution Center of Ulster County, said recently. "It is really about what the interests of both parties are, where that overlap is. So, our mediators are trained listeners." She said the mediators generate options to resolve the problems that led to the conflict and help the parties reach a mutually agreeable solution.

"They guide the two parties to make their own decision," Halpern said. "They help the parties resolve the issues."

The Dispute Resolution Center is a non-profit organization that serves Ulster, Orange, Putnam and Sullivan counties, according to information provided by the agency. The center provides mediation services in the area's courts, as well as in the agency's office or in the workplace. It also offers conflict resolution training and workshops.

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Mediation can address a number of issues, including those between employers and employees, landlords and tenants, neighbors, or parents and teens, according to the agency. The mediators can also assist with interpersonal disputes, elder mediation and with issues involving custody, visitation and child support.

Halpern said the Dispute Resolution Center also provides an anger management program and a program for separating and divorced parents. She added that the only cost associated with the mediation services is a "low administrative fee." Halpern also said the center's scheduling time is fast and its services are professional and confidential.

"By encouraging communication and the development of mutually acceptable solutions, mediation helps to avoid the expense of long legal battles, eases resentments, and gives both parties a sense of control over their own outcomes," Halpern said. "It can maintain or restore relationships, as well, encouraging less stress and better health for participants."

Halpern said an example of that involved two couples who had been close neighbors. When one of the women was widowed, the other couple stopped inviting her to social events, she said. Halpern said the widow became upset and convinced her neighbors were disrespecting her by doing things like letting their dog run on her property and blowing leaves onto her land. Halpern said the widow sued her neighbor, but when the case went to court the judge recommended mediation.

A mediator asked the two sides if their relationship had always been this way and the widow said she had previously felt like a part of the other couple's family, Halpern said. She said the mediator discovered that the couple had pulled back from the widow because they did not want their relationship to make her feel lonely or hurt. Halpern said the mediator was able to help the neighbors restore their previous close relationship.

"Very many disagreements are not about the money," Halpern added. "They seem to be about the money on the surface, but there may be an underlying issue that needs to be resolved." She said handling cases in court does not usually allow the involved parties to find out what that issue might be.

Ekaterini Vlamis trained as a mediator in June 2009 and predominantly volunteers in New Paltz Town Court. She said she is a teacher and a team-builder, so it seemed like mediation was a relevant skill set that would further add to her communication skills. Vlamis said she tries to volunteer at least once a month, though there are not always cases in need of mediation. She added that ideally she would not know either party in a dispute she mediates.

"Basically my job is to facilitate a conversation and make sure both sides get heard," Vlamis said. She said she tries to listen through their words to find what their feelings and needs are. Vlamis said she then tries to help the parties find a middle ground where they can reach an agreement.

If an agreement is reached, Vlamis said, she will write that up and she and the parties involved will sign the document. That agreement takes the place of a judgment, she said. Vlamis added that the assumption is if both parties agree to something they will follow through on the details of the agreement. If they don't, she said, the issue could go back to court.

"Really the idea is to solve your own problem," Vlamis said. And when it works, it works beautifully, she said. Vlamis said the best moment for her is when two people who came in unable to meet each others' eyes across the table, leave the mediation after shaking hands.

The next round of training for volunteer mediators begins Jan. 9 and will run over a series of Thursday evening sessions. Interested individuals can contact Halpern for more information.

Halpern said mediators take an intense 32-hour training program that is followed by an apprenticeship in which they observe several cases. The trainees then co-mediate cases with a more experienced mediator, she said.

"When they feel comfortable they go off and start mediating on their own," Halpern said. She said the mediators can also take advanced training to focus on certain types of issues, such as elder mediation, special education mediation, and parent and child mediation.