Craigslist Idiots – Mark McGwire Edition

The year is 1987 and Fleer isses this rare and special card:

Mark McGwire 1987 RCS (Rookie Card Setter)-SuperStar Specials – $60

Mark McGwire Rookie Card Setter (SuperStar Specials)-Fleer #629, selling for cheap because I am not interested in collecting baseball cards anymore. For those of you interested, or if there is anyone trying to make some money off this rare rookie card setter, please contact me through email. Best of luck for the first to buy!

For those of you who do not know, McGwire did not only break the home run record later in 1998, but also broke the HR record from which this card was made his rookie year. To say the home run record was broken is an understatement; “shattered” would be more appropriate. On August 14th, 1987 in Anaheim Stadium, McGwire deposited a pitch from a 300-game winner, Don Sutton, into the left field seats for his 39th home run of the season. That dinger broke a record established 57 years earlier by Wally Berger of the 1930 “Boston Braves” at the time. Berger hit 38 homers that season and wasn’t broken again until McGwire’s rookie year in 1987, only to break it again later in his career. In 1998, McGwire broke the home run record again with an astounding 70 homers. McGwire ended his career with 583 home runs, which is the fifth-most in history. He led Major League Baseball in home runs five times. He hit 50 or more home runs four seasons in a row (1996-1999), leading Major League Baseball in homers all four seasons. This card is the up-most classic for the achievements of Mark McGwire, especially it being his rookie card record setter.

(In pictures, card is in mint-condition and in hard-plastic casing).

Again, normally I don’t waste my efforts with anything below $100 but this one was too good to be true. A five cent card selling for $60. Today I will play Lord Bynun III (a subtle play at humor “buy none”).

The Exchange:

Me: Sir, what an amazing card you have there. I have stared at your ad in wonderment for the past 15 minutes trying to decide if this is the right card for me. Knowing full well how important Mr. McGwire is to the world of baseball. I feel it is my duty to pick up a card of this caliber. Can you tell me more about the card, like it’s origins, where you were able to obtain this glamorous specimen of a card, it’s market value, and the percentage reduction from it’s market value?

Respecfully,

Lord Bynun III

CI: Yeah its a card of Mark McGwire, im not sure its market value but im figuring it’s worth pretty close to $100. So I guess im cutting the price by 40. Do you still want it? Can we meet tonight to sell it? I only take cash. Call me my number is 555-555-5555.

Me: Sir, I need to know more specifics about the card, when I buy a card, I like to know the rich history surrounding it. To me each card takes it’s own journey, based on how exciting said journey is the card may be worth more or less. For me to fully evaluate the card please sir, give me it’s rich history. I do not own a phone I communicate specifically by email only. Phones scare me half to death!

Respectfully,

Lord Bynun III

CI: I got the card when I opened a pack of 1987 Fleer baseball. I put the card in a case and ive had it ever since. I can go a little lower on the card if it helps. Make me an offer I just want to get rid of it.

Me: Sir, that is not much of a journey for this card. It is certainly not rich in history as the other cards I have acquired for my collection. Have you moved a lot? Did the card start out in one state and move to another. At least some mileage would have been put on the card. I am starting to think this card doesn’t have the value that the cards I usually acquire tend to have. Many of my cards have had multiple owners, having moved from estate to estate, or have even been through battles. I want a card with amazing history behind it and I fear that you card holds no such history. What would be the lowest price you would accept for this card?

Respectfully

Lord Bynun III

CI: I could go down to $30 but thats it. No the card has been with me my whole life, thats why its in excellent condition. so $30? are you really a lord?

Me: Sir how dare you!!! You question my title? I never have questioned your title or the card. I feel without the proper pedigree, this card is not worth the $60 you were asking. Even $30 seems too steep for a card without any battle scars. Sir at this point I would like to make you a proper offer. If you were to deliver it to me this evening, I will pay you $1. I can do that in cash or by cashiers check if you deem it necessary. I live at 55 Badwax St. do you know where that is?

Respectfully,

Lord Bynun III

CI: You got some balls on you asking me to drag my ass out over there and give you a $100 card for a buck. You are an asshole you know that? Why don’t you pedal your bullshit somewhere else.

Me: Sir apparently you have never had the delight of clicking on this <link> . In it you will find many people like yourself who have nothing better to do than to steal people’s money. Please take the time and read them all since you clearly have no idea how much cards are worth. You feed on and take money from the innocent and for that I order you to Cease and Desist!

Respectfully,

Lord Bynum III

CI: YOU BETTER LOOK OUT CAUSE IM COMING AFTER YOU ASSHOLE!

Me: Just as long as you don’t try to stick me with that garbage 3 cent card.

Final Take: If I were him I would have jumped on that $1 order since it is going to be the highest price he gets for it. Overall I liked how this one went and even refrained from swearing.

Great work. Lord Bynun was a fantastic persona. You could come up with more of those characters who request odd things like history, or in the museum business we call it provenance. You should ask if they have the gum that came with the junk wax Topps cards, offer more money for that than the card, for example. Anyway, you’re doing holy work here, Lord Bynun.

Yes, yes, yes! Craigslist Idiots is a feature back at full strength! The scambait itself is funny enough, but it is at its best when it works against the would-be scammer in both obvious and subtle ways. This guy was particularly exploitable! The TL;DR fractured history lesson in the sales post is a gem.

What is a rookie card setter, anyway? Is it some kind of dog?

A member of royalty that wants battle damaged baseball cards but is deathly afraid of telephones? Genius.

I am secretly hoping that this guy will take a match to a corner of this same card, maybe take a bite out of it, and then put it back up on Craigslist with a “RARE Mark McGuire Battle of Tora Bora Taliban Rookie Card Setter – $300” listing.