When we are able to reply to the subtext of any given scenario, it gives us a tool to start communicating with people at a much deeper level. For example, asking them if they are feeling ok is a better strategy for deep level communication as opposed to the surface level discussion of their coffee.

Subtext allows us to recognise that it’s not really about their coffee, and in fact permits us to delve deeper to assist with their emotional needs.

Subtext in the real world

Often we are not able to communicate with each other effectively because we tend to focus on the outer shell of discussion, rather than opening up and seeing what’s inside. In a recent dating study, we can see that 59% of people agree that there is someone out there for everyone, so being able to understand their undertones allows us to connect at a much deeper level.

Being able to utilise subtext allows us to cut through layers of communication and get right to the core of women’s emotions, feelings and beliefs.

When we merge together different parts of her subtle sub communication cues, it allows us to really understand her as a whole rather than just focussing on the present conversation.

Tuning Into Subtext

When we are in dialogue with women having the ability to label the emotion behind her words is an extremely powerful tool. It shows that we are able to understand her as an individual.

For example, most of us try and solve a woman’s problems immediately, rather than trying to understanding the subtext of her words.

In my experience; here is a typical conversation than many men have with women.

Girl – “I can’t believe that they gave me a parking ticket; I was only parked there for 5 minutes max and there is nowhere else where I could have possibly parked my car. I’m a student and I can only just about afford to live while I study without having an extra fine for no reason.”

Most guys – “You can definitely fight that claim. I know someone who has got off the same thing. So don’t worry we can just write them a letter.”

The problem with this type of communication is that although we are trying to solve the physical problem, we are not doing anything to aid the emotional trauma by allowing her to vent her frustrations.

Utilising subtext – “it seems you’re frustrated and feel like it’s unfair.” When we label her emotion correctly she’ll reply with either “yes” or “that’s right”.

Girl – “Yes; I really don’t know what to do.” The girl has now vocalised her emotions and been understood. It’s at this stage we are able to then give her a rational way of dealing with her concern.

Three core words for labelling emotions

It seems …

It appears …

It looks …

The Context of Subtext

To truly understand the undertones of any given scenario we need to look for clusters of information which paint the full picture.

So ideally we want to be hearing the words a girl is saying, listening to the tone of her voice and also paying attention to her body language. When we are able to put all of these together in tandem we have the correct context to understand the subtext in its entirety.

For example; here are the same sentences spoken with different tonality and altered body language to create different meanings.

Example #1

Girl’s words – “I’m seeing someone.”

Girl’s tonality – Strong and stern.

Girl’s body language – Facing away

Subtext – She’s in a serious relationship and is not interested in us.

Example #2

Girl’s words – “I’m seeing someone.”

Girl’s tonality – Quiet and weak

Girl’s body language – Facing towards us

Subtext – She’s in a relationship currently, but see’s us as a potential partner.