Funny jokes | One line funny jokes

1) After slapping wife,
Husband says - A person only beats whom he actually loves
Angry wife slaps him twice and says -
Do you think I love you less!

2) Husband came home late at night from a party
His wife shouted - how would you feel if you don't see me for 2 days?
He couldn't believe his luck
He replied at once - that would be great
Monday passed & he didn't see her
Tuesday & wednesday passed too
On thursday the swelling was better & he could see her from the corner of his left eye

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven - don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn't tell me you love me anymore, you didn't want s** or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone.

1) 3 men died and went to God
God - how many affairs you all had in your life time?
1st - 40
God gave him a cycle
2nd -10
Gave him a scooty
3rd - I was faithful to my wife
God gave him BMW
After sometime they all met
They asked 3rd man - you got a BMW & not looking happy?
3rd - yesterday I saw my wife riding a cycle