Get Him to Go Down On You

Men love pleasing women, but sometimes they hold back from treating you to the oral action you crave. Here, sexy tactics to lure him into spending more quality time south of your border.

Feb 20, 2008

If you were to rank booty moves by how blissful each feels, receiving oral sex would be in one of the top slots. Not only does this sex style let you lie back while your dude does all the work, but it's also an ultrapleasurable primer for intercourse...as well as a means to an O in its own right.

Still, too few women are getting the oral attention they desire. In fact, 62 percent of readers said they wished their guy treated them to it more often, according to a recent Cosmo poll.

What could be holding your man back? Although guys have told us that it's one of their favorite ways to please a woman, a dude may be afraid to ask for direction. Or perhaps you aren't letting him know that you really want oral sex. Also, young males can be selfish in bed, focusing on their own desires, says Linda Banner, PhD, a sex therapist in San Jose, California.

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Now that you know why he may be a little tongue-tied, follow these seven tactics to get the pleasure you desire.

Telling your guy that you want more oral is a catch-22: Make too big of a deal out of it and he may conclude he comes up short in the sack, explains Jane Greer, PhD, a New York City marriage and family therapist. But if you beat around the, ahem, bush, he may not get the message at all. So when he presses his body against yours to signal he's ready for the main event, whisper "I'd be really heated up if you'd kiss me down below first." This assures him that his current moves satisfy you but shows you have one other need you'd like him to address.

PLEASURE TACTIC 2: Groom Your Girl Parts

Guys are visual, so trimming your pubic hair — or going full-monty Brazilian — may be the incentive to get him to linger between your legs. "Seeing a woman's privates so exposed is still taboo, so it's very exciting," says Daniel Amen, MD, author of Sex on the Brain. The sexy sight should make him want to explore orally, he says.

PLEASURE TACTIC 3: Stir His Competitive Side

Men are naturally competitive, says Banner. (After all, they are the inventors of beer pong.) So why not take advantage of his inability to resist a contest? Somewhere between a prebooty make-out session and foreplay, coyly say "I bet you can't make me climax using just your mouth." You'll practically feel his testosterone surge as he takes you up on your challenge.

PLEASURE TACTIC 4: Guide Him with Your Body

One reason he doesn't spend more time teasing your southern regions may be that he isn't sure what to do. A nonverbal sign or two as he's heading below the belt can be the hint he needs, says sexologist Jamye Waxman.

While he's kissing your navel, scoot your body up so your pelvis is closer to his mouth, then give his head a gentle push. Or frame your clitoris by making a V with two fingers so he can see where you want him to zero in.

PLEASURE TACTIC 5: Give Him the Right Vocal Cues

Being specific about what he does that makes you squirm will tell him how amazing his tongue is — a big ego boost for guys, says relationship and sexuality therapist Rebecca Rosenblat. A lusty "Right there, yes!" is positive reinforcement your guy will retain so he can treat you to it over and over.

PLEASURE TACTIC 6: Try Guy-Friendly Positions

Grab two pillows, and place one under his chest and one under your hips. This way, his chin won't dig into the mattress, and with your pelvis raised higher off the bed, he'll have a greater range of motion. Or have him lie on his back, then put your goods over his mouth. This position will make you feel open and vulnerable but also lets you control the pace and motion, says Waxman.

PLEASURE TACTIC 7: If He Holds Back

Withholding oral sex from him may be the one thing that snaps him out of his self-absorbed state. If not, you may have to accept that some guys are truly oral-averse. If you decide that you can't be with someone who doesn't love pleasuring you, says Waxman, let him go, and start dating one of the gazillions of men who do.