On Earth As It Is In Sweden

We would be lying, Gentle Reader, if we said there wasn’t a great deal of angst around stately IPB Manor in the last few weeks. There was silence on the Pando front, and Tom Gulitti’s updates sounded increasingly bleak, then increasingly Rangeriffic. And it got us thinking, as we worried about PandoNation losing its emperor/god. You see, as has been mentioned in this space many times before, we are motivated by tra-la-la-feelingsbits, not statbits. Statbitty people probably have some crazy formula-driven way of choosing their favorite player, where they plug a bunch of quality-of-opposition ratios and effective-shot-selection averages into a spreadsheet and let Excel crunch everything and spit out the name of the guy whose sweater they should be buying. But tra-la-la-feelingsbitty people aren’t motivated by reason. When we wrote our Reason We Love Hockey about Pando last summer, we posited that Pando became our favorite player on the night he split his forehead open in Detroit, but after publishing the post, Pookie said to Schnookie, “You know, he was your favorite before then.” Schnookie was stunned — Pookie was right, but frankly, we couldn’t remember that Pando was even a regular in the lineup before then. How on earth, and more importantly, why on earth had he become a guy whose sweater we owned? We don’t even know now where the PandoLove started, nor do we know how PaulieMartinNation was born. Favorite players find us; we don’t find them. And when it comes to Devils free agents, we don’t care about statbits, or market value, or reason, or rationality. We care about favorites and their tra-la-la-feelingsbits.

We were gravely concerned in the days leading up to free agency that Pando was going to be seduced to the dark side (we say to Scott Gomez and Chris Drury, “Get your paws off him, you damn dirty slag-faced whores!”), and we were starting to compose a blog-worthy response should the unthinkable happen. We were going to talk at length about how, while we understand there are cap issues, and young-player-development issues, and family issues, and money issues, and all other kinds of issues that make rational sense as to why a team and a player would choose to part ways, we REFUSE them. Those aren’t tra-la-la-feelingbits explanations for why a player leaves through free agency. Either they stay, or they go. We aren’t sentimental about former Devils players; we’re not the kinds of fans who start following another team because a favorite player has moved on there. As far as we’re concerned, there are two types of guys who have played for our team: True Devils, and Ex-Devils. We are, needless to say, Pandodoodling that our favorite playah’s playah decided today, unlike the pair of guys who dominated the Devils news last July 1, that he is the former.

This called for a celebration…

… So we took Pando out for ice cream.

(Actually, in honor of his signing, and in keeping with this summer’s theme at IPB, we made a hockey card to fill in for Pando on our ice cream run. The card reads, “PandoNation rejoices today, 07/01/08, as their fearless emperor/god re-signed for three years. May fear continue to fall dead at his feet.”)

In discussion of True vs. Ex-Devils this morning, we did, however, come up with one former Devil who bucks the trends of history — Brian Rolston. He was the first of our beloved players to be traded away, and, while the move did lead to a Stanley Cup, he remained in our hearts The One That Got Away. We loved him so much that five years after his departure, we named our cat after him. No matter where he was playing, and no matter how well or how badly, he always seemed to us to be a Devil who was stuck on other teams. Lou apparently felt the same way (and probably also has a cat named after him). The Devils had cap space to burn and were still reeling from losing to the Rangers in the playoffs — they had to make a splash in free agency, and of all the players available (all of whom were going to end up grossly overpaid), Brian Rolston was an absolute, spot-on perfect fit. We are Rolliedoodling over this signing, and we don’t care that $5 million for the next four years to a guy who’s 35 now is probably not the greatest hockey investment. We loved Rollie when we were new Devils fans, we loved him when he was journeymanning around the league, we loved him when he was awesome with the Wild, and now we’re loving him as a True Devil once more. And Rollie the cat is also delighted — this is her reenactment of her namesake turning down the Rangers’ offer:

Get your paws off me, you damn dirty slag-faced whores!

For all the Pando- and Rolliedoodling going on around here, we are not coining the term “Holikdoodling”. There will never be any Holikdoodling. There wasn’t any back in his first go-round. Bobby Holik is a classic example of a guy we’re happy to call an Ex-Devil. He didn’t have to come back. Really. But that reality won’t sink in until the first “Well, erm, uh, erm, humph, erm, garble, mumble, merm, flumph, grargh” interview with him on a Devils broadcast. In the meantime, we’re busy being happy for a change.

ms. conduct, we’ll try to take good care of him! Or maybe I should thank the Wild for taking such good care of him during these intervening years. :D

kms, I appreciate the Holik sympathy. I suppose it makes it a little easier to bear knowing that there were people around the blogosphere who thought of us when the deal was announced. But just a little easier. Heh.

Heh, Frisby. One of the first things I said about having Holik back was, “Well, he’s just one big giant *Clank!* isn’t he?” :P Of course, then I read his comments on Gulitti about how Devils fans are spoiled and I’m like, “Heeey, I think blogging this upcoming season just got a lot easier… Thanks Mr. Clank!” (Holik being, of course, the Devils original Mr. October.)

Oh, there’s PLENTY more *Clank!* left to come. I mean, we’re sitting here now thinking how much easier Holik is going to make blogging the Devils. During the doldrums of the season, when everyone is being boring and same-old, same-old, when we’re normally reduced to writing about which kinds of fake mustaches each player would wear, we can instead break out “Today’s Reason We Hate Bobby Holik”. He’s a blogger’s dream come true! :P

Exactly, Heather! “Holikdoodling” is like some sort of monstrous, bastard word. It’s VILE! And WRONG! It’s an ABOMINATION!

I think we’re all kind of lucky that the favorite players who found us don’t suck. It would be pretty awful if we went all “favorite” for guys like… well, guys like Pookie, Frisby and Steve Lepore were one-upping each other by remembering them on the last thread. One-shift wonders and whatnot. :D

I always thought it was best to go for the under the radar guys but then the hockey gods went and made Parise one of my favorites. And it sucks! But, again, you can’t choose. They’re chosen for you. (Fortunately, Paulie’s more of a favorite, and he’s also much more an under the radar guy.)

Well, so ends another exciting UFA Day. So join us next week on “Pigs In Space” when Link Hogthrob… Oh, sorry! Got lost for a second there. What I meant to say was, good night, everyone!

We are glad that Pando is being rewarded for his efficient and loyal service and are pleased that Salvador has been re-signed. He is one of the Devils’ best defensemen. Still, yesterday was a sad day; Sergei Brylin is leaving the team. Time is a cruel thing; that and his knee injuries have robbed Sergei of his speed. Still, Devils fans should be grateful for all that Sergei brought to the team for many years — his selfless, heady play, the smart, quick passes, his willingness to absorb hit after hit, if by doing so he could make a play, his hustle and determination. We could go on. Thank you, Sergei Brylin, for your contributions to our team. Good luck.

All you need to know about Rolston love and Holik hate is their welcome back to the Devils interviews. Rolston went on and on about how thrilled he was to be back, and his family was thrilled to be back in New Jersey etc. Bobby’s reposnse about coming back to Jersey: “Why not?”

The one good thing about Bobby coming back is that he’s gonna mouth off at Sutter sometime this season and that will be heeeeesterical.

Still, Devils fans should be grateful for all that Sergei brought to the team for many years — his selfless, heady play, the smart, quick passes, his willingness to absorb hit after hit, if by doing so he could make a play, his hustle and determination. We could go on. Thank you, Sergei Brylin, for your contributions to our team. Good luck.

*Clap clap clap clap clap clap clapclapclapclapclapclapclap*

You’re so right, Douglas. And I feel especially terrible about Lou not re-signing Sarge (or picking up his option) in light of Holik’s signing. I mean, it would be one thing if there was someone in the system they thought was being held back by Sarge, or if they were planning on bringing in someone better… but Holik? That’s just insulting.

Although Morgan, I am now REALLY looking forward to the Holik/Sutter dynamic. Heh.

Stars fans, I’m so sorry about the continued Avery talk. That TOTALLY sucks.

I think we should hear about the Avery situation today, so hopefully he’ll go sign with someone else and not us. I can’t even wrap my mind around Sean Avery being a Dallas Star, so if it happens, it might not be andrew throwing clots – it might be me.

Douglas, thanks for your impassioned Sarge speech! Sarge was the ultimate take-for-granted player. He’s brought so much, so quietly to this team. Thanks for the memories (and the 3 Cups), Sarge!

Schnookie, you’re so right that in light of the Holik signing the Brylin non-signing looks so, so, so bad. Other than being a foot taller, and an infinite times more cancerous in the dressing room, what is it again that Holik’s bringing to the table? (And if anyone says “face off wins” I’ll scream. Face off wins are the stupidest statbit this side of “hits” and “strength of competition”.)

Caitlin, Patty, Myra, and all the Stars fans — I’m sorry the Stars are in the running for Avery. I’m sure it’ll all work out fine! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!

I’m hoping so. Brett Hull is not going to like me if we sign Sean Avery.

Apparently some minority of Stars fans have been drinking some Kool-Aid that hasn’t been passed my way. There are people actually arguing that if you hate Avery, then he’s doing his job; therefore, he must be worth signing.

What?! My whole objection to Avery is that we already have an agitatator and we can get someone with comparable stats for much cheaper who also wouldn’t be a completely classless addition to the organization.

That being said, Winchester, Holmqvist, Miettinen need to work out their deals, and Barnes needs to tell us what’s up with his noggin, or something. I’m sick of waiting. I’m an impatient jerk, what can I say.

I can understand wanting a guy who plays like Avery on your team (and by that I mean, agitates other people, can chip in a few goals and not “acts like a douchebag”) but yeah, you guys already have Otter. I’m not sure you need an Avery-like player.

I actually think face-off wins are very important (afterall, the Devils never win the faceoff)

EXACTLY!

They’ve never, ever been a good face-off team and they have more Cups in recent years than everyone but Detroit! It’s all about PUCK PURSUIT not face offs! Face offs are totally overrated. Grumble grumble *crazy lady hand waving and eye rolling* grumble grumble!

I had this terrible nightmare last night that the Devils had signed Bobby Holik. Then I woke up and thought: “thank god that was just a dream!”

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And the thing about faceoff wins is that they aren’t important if you can’t gain puck possession off them. And plenty of teams that are bad at just the flat-out “winning draws” thing manage to overcome that by retrieving the puck off lost draws. Like the Devils in 2000. They didn’t win a single faceoff all year — everyone was picking against them in every playoff series in large part because of their inability to win draws — but no one was better at puck pursuit after faceoffs. So, while I’m not pooh-poohing the value of a good faceoff man, at the same time, I’d rather have an all-around effective player who can work to get the puck back after his inevitable faceoff loss than a player who is ONLY good for winning draws.

I guess my point is that this past season, they couldn’t even maintain any puck possesion, like they could in years past. It would be nice to win a draw everynow and then.
(But, as I said, still does not make signing Holik worth it)

I think if you can get Avery playing in a city that will allow him to divorce the Avery Media Beast from the Avery Hockey Player, he’s not a bad hockey player. Everyone likes to talk about his “antics”, but that’s because they make a sportswriter’s job a lot easier. When he was contributing to beating the Devils, he was doing it as a really effective hockey player. I really resented the way everyone concluded, because of his stick-waving in front of Marty, that the Devils players were all “distracted” by him, and that’s why they lost. Devils fans were distracted by him, and the media was distracted by him, but the team lost because the players weren’t playing their system well. Not because they were running around after Avery. Because they were defensively unfocused and because Marty had nothing left in the tank. Ultimately, there are so many other “superpests” in the NHL that I don’t think Avery’s as comparatively outrageous as he was when he made his name as a diving, immature douchebag in LA. What drives me batty about him in his Rangers incarnation is that he genuinely made the team better, but then gained this media adoration for being some kind of Hockey Messiah with magical powers of brattiness. Take the media adoration away, and he’s just Jarkko Ruutu, but with more skill.

I don’t think Avery is worth what he’s going to get paid, but then again, no one who signs as a free agent these days is. I don’t like him as a public/tabloid figure, and I don’t like that he brings this Cult of Personality thing to the NHL, but there are certainly worse hockey players in the league than Sean Avery.

I guess my point is that this past season, they couldn’t even maintain any puck possesion, like they could in years past. It would be nice to win a draw everynow and then.

Yeah, the combination of “we can’t win any draws” with “we don’t ever bother trying to win the puck from the other team” was pretty deadly. Passively standing around waiting for your opponent is not the best tactic, but it seems to be the one the Devils employed most frequently last year. Heh.

This is what I don’t understand about Bucky – and this is going on TS later so pretend like you’ve never heard it before. He’s totally unwilling to spend money on the guys we already have who already work here – God forbid we overpay Crunchy by a single penny because hey, out of three seasons, one was really bad – but he wants the Sabres to throw wads of money at overrated guys who’ve had one good stretch who have never set foot in Buffalo or played with any of our guys. I don’t get that method at all.

Take the media adoration away, and he’s just Jarkko Ruutu, but with more skill.

Pretty much, but Avery gives as good as he gets on the media thing. I think Avery’s a fairly decent hockey player, but I also think that he would be a much better hockey player if he focused less on his own image and more on the hockey side of things.

As far as play goes, we could get much worse, yes. But I think his asking price? You could easily get someone who’s A) less likely to get his ass suspended and B) is committed to the team much more than they are to themselves. As much talent as Avery has (vomit), I have always watched him play and left with the distinct impression that he plays for himself, not for anything else. That’s a very bad fit with the guys we’ve got in the locker room right now. Part of what always irks me about Avery is the same thing that irks me about Jeremy Roenick; both are blatant self-promoters who sometimes put that above all else. At least Roenick ditched the mouthiness for a season for the good of the Sharks and saved himself from retirement – which was what Roenick should’ve done years ago.

I don’t see what Hull & Jackson’s big deal with Avery is, since I get the feeling he wouldn’t mesh very well in the locker room and quite a few of the fans don’t want him here, as well as the fact that his “role” is pretty much filled.

Also, I have to hear about Tony Romo’s mess of a personal life enough; I don’t need Avery thrown into the mix, either. :D.

Good God, I said decent things about Sean Avery AND Jeremy Roenick in the same post. I feel light-headed.

I just saw this on Sabres Edge: The Rangers will be paying nearly $33 million to just five players (Wade Redden, Michal Rozsival, Chris Drury, Scott Gomez and Henrik Lundqvist) for the next four years.

Also, I have to hear about Tony Romo’s mess of a personal life enough; I don’t need Avery thrown into the mix, either. :D.

Amen, preach on sister!

I’ve been reading the comments on the mighty Sweater Vest’s blog and had to stop as I could feel my blood pressure going too high. Not only were they saying good things about Avery, they were saying bad things about my petulant little ice troll. It was very very upsetting.
I can’t say who is worse of those listed above, since I have only been doing this for a year. But the only ones on ya’ll’s lists I’ve heard of are Avery and Bertuzzi. If that means anything.

Bottom line I can’t see guys like Morrow and Russian putting up with Avery’s crap.

Caitlin, you make great points about Avery. I don’t think he’s a good fit for the Stars at all, but I also don’t think it would be the end of the world if they brought him in. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that you guys don’t have to deal with him! Don’t get me wrong! I’m not, like, espousing signing Avery. I’m just looking for the silver lining should it actually happen.

I like the post Ookies. I agree, it’s all about the no-names. Rooting for superstars…meh. I’ll take Adam Mair any day of the week.

As for Avery and the Stars…holy jeez I can’t think of a worse fit. That locker room reminds me of the Sabres teams of the past few years. Tightknit, no obnoxious superstars, well led, etc. Avery would completely wreck that dynamic in about 3.2 seconds.

As for Avery and the Stars…holy jeez I can’t think of a worse fit. That locker room reminds me of the Sabres teams of the past few years. Tightknit, no obnoxious superstars, well led, etc. Avery would completely wreck that dynamic in about 3.2 seconds.

As for Avery and the Stars…holy jeez I can’t think of a worse fit. That locker room reminds me of the Sabres teams of the past few years. Tightknit, no obnoxious superstars, well led, etc. Avery would completely wreck that dynamic in about 3.2 seconds.

I agree, it’s all about the no-names. Rooting for superstars…meh. I’ll take Adam Mair any day of the week.

Exactly! Of course, sometimes the superstars are the ones who find you and say, “I’m your favorite!”, but thankfully, right now, we’re more of the Pando/Paulie Martin ouevre of faves. (Well, except for Pookie and the whole Zach thing. She’s struggling so much with her involuntary Devils favorite being the best player on the team [who isn’t Marty], the most popular player on the team, and the cutest player on the team. That’s a rough thing to reconcile when you’re sitting next to a ten-year veteran of PandoNation. :P)

And as for Avery screwing with the Stars chemistry, I dunno. Sometimes it’s a bad thing for a team to get along too well. I mean, look at all the “nice” guys in the Sharks’ room.

(Again, I am just playing the devil’s advocate with Avery. I am by no means suggesting a team SHOULD sign him!)

Anyways, thought you guys would like to know that Soupy is now officially reviled by Sharks fans. He will be booed very loudy every time he returns to the Tank for the next 8 years. And the sad thing is that he probably won’t understand why.

We’d WANT Shelley to beat him up.

Jody Shelley could beat him up all he wanted, as far as I’m concerned.

Well then! Looks like we’re all in agreement. Feels kinda strange. I’m not used to it.

Sometimes it’s a bad thing for a team to get along too well. I mean, look at all the “nice” guys in the Sharks’ room.

Good point, but I think there’s a big difference between a hard-assed leader that you don’t like but you begrudgingly respect and a snot nosed a-hole who insists on giving fashion tips to your girlfriend.

Anyhoo, I’m hoping it’s a moot point, as I’m hearing that Detroit is very much in the running for Avery too. That would be good for everyone. (unless they win a cup with him.)

I totally agree that it is all about the no-names and the workhorses and whatever else you want to call the guys who come in every day and do their job without making a huge fuss which is awesome! But I still love Marty the best.

Stars fans, I’m totally sorry the Avery rumours haven’t died yet! While I’ll admit that he sneaks up on me with some of his nice little skating, and he totally fills a role on a team, y’all have (as previously discussed) obviously already filled that role and adding Avery may result in too many cooks in the kitchen.

andrew, I do enjoy how reading the comments on Working the Corners is often similar to reading the comments on Sabres Edge. They’re a little less crazy than we are but a lot of the complaints are the same – we never sign huge UFAs! We never make long offers! We have all this cap space! Why are we spending to the cap! Management is cheap and hates us all!

It was one thing to be sad about leaving Buffalo. He had been there forever, through the system and all that. But dude, he was with the Sharks for like, a month. Then he gives this “Oh I want to stay so bad but there’s this [insert unkown famliy issue] problem that I have to attend to. See ya.”

…we never sign huge UFAs! We never make long offers! We have all this cap space! Why are we spending to the cap! Management is cheap and hates us all!

Sounds about right! A lot of Sharks fans are pissed because Jamison and Doug Wilson promised they would make some power moves during free agency this summer. All they did was lose Rissmiller. Sabres were pretty much the same.

Personally, I’m cool with it. I subscribe to the Earl Sleek theory of UFA day: If your GM is relatively quiet, that’s actually a good thing.

Personally, I’m cool with it. I subscribe to the Earl Sleek theory of UFA day: If your GM is relatively quiet, that’s actually a good thing.

I’m cool with it too and said as much on my blog this morning. (Somebody has to go on record on Darcy’s side, I think :P) And I really don’t understand the outrage. Darcy said repeatedly leading up to yesterday that he thought this UFA market was pretty weak and was more interested in the trade market. Golly, I’m SHOCKED we didn’t sign anyone yesterday!

Ring whore or not, good on Hossa for bucking the trend. He could have got 20 years for $40 bajillion dollars and he knows that. I’m sick of these lifetime contracts and I applaud him for taking a “lesser” deal in order to compete for the cup.

Hee. I give Darcy credit for handling his role as “public whipping boy” very well. Most normal people would’ve curled up under their desk in the fetal position after hearing some of the stuff that’s been said.

Amy, Darcy does seem to handle that pretty well. I think I’m more upset on his behalf than he actually is which is probably good. GMs gotta have a thick skin. (But still… Poor Darcy. I’d never be able to handle it.)

This is just some yahoo on Sabres Edge so I don’t know where it’s coming from but there are rumblings from NY that the Rangers are feeling a bit of buyer’s remorse on Drury’s contract because they’d like to do more but they’re hamstrung. To which all I can say is: LOLOLOLOLOL!

What’s the opposite of a “hometown discount”? Oh yeah, f*cking your fans over. I bet Pensblog is having a collective aneurysm right now.

Hee! I bet they are! Of course, I don’t know where they were coming from in the first place thinking Hossa was anything BUT a rental player. He doesn’t owe anything to the Pens, and never did. How can you expect a “hometown discount” from a player who didn’t play long enough with your team to move out of a hotel?

Heather, I would love for that to be true about the Rangers. Really, the Drury signing was the only thing that made the Gomez one bearable to me last year, just because it was SO RIDICULOUSLY a case of “we’re grabbing all the toys in the sandbox now!” If they’d just signed Gomez, it would have been a case of overpaying for a UFA, but not in a catastrophic sort of way. Getting BOTH of them? BRILLIANT! Thanks, Rangers, for never knowing when enough’s enough.

I think I am going to be sick. They are assuming he will be on the same line with my little Otter and that the Stars will now be the most hated team in the NHL. I don’t want to be the most hated team in the NHL.

With the current economics in the NHL, $4M per really isn’t a boat anchor. It’s more than Avery should get, but it’s hardly a team-killing contract.

Very true. It’s not the 4 million that I dislike so much as the four years. Avery seems to have about a two year shelf life on a team before they’re ready to get rid of him. Still, that could very well be a tradeable contract in a couple years.

Awww, that won’t happen! There are so many “superpests” in the NHL now that the Averys and Otts are just of a type. Tons of teams have them now, so you’ll just be averagely hated! There, there.

Patty, don’t do it! You still have oodles of guys you love on the team! And you’re still a really GOOD team! Focus on the guys you like, and think about how their shared hatred for Avery will be a unifying and motivating force for them next year! (It seemed to work for the Rangers players…)

Meg is right, in two years, when Avery has worn out his welcome, some other team desperate for a REALLY annoying agitator will cough up a bunch of quality picks and players for Avery. He’s money in the bank.

They’re saying he is a big wine aficionado so maybe he and Road Spike can be BFF’s. They are also saying they think Hull will be given the job of keeping Avery in line. Hull keeping someone else in line? We are doomed….

Dallas folks, Hull is about to be on the Ticket if you are interested in hearing his explanation.

Sabres fans, can anyone tell me any updates on Teppo? Is he going to sign with the Sabres or not?

KG, all the Sabres have said so far about Teppo is that he does want to come back and they’ve kind of talked to him but any real talks will take place further down the line. Last season they let all the UFA/trade stuff settle down before the re-signed him and I imagine that’s what’ll happen again now. If they end up with a veteran d-man they might not bring him back, if they don’t find someone they will bring him back, that kind of thing.

Nobody’s going to be stupid enough to take him from us. It’s going to be catastrophic and even the stupidest GM won’t fall for it again. It’ll be like the last guy that bought a Beanie Baby.

Okay, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to the Beanie Baby. And come on — someone will ALWAYS be willing to take him. Even if the next couple of years are a disaster (which I doubt they will be because the Stars are STILL A VERY GOOD HOCKEY TEAM), some GM somewhere will look at what he did in New York (where the Rangers weren’t even getting a SNIFF of the playoffs without him) and think, “He could do that for me!”

I just emailed him and told him to “stop calling him talented”. I was pissed. :D

I could barely watch games where the Stars played a team with Avery on it in the past. I HOPE I can still watch them play. Maybe I’ll type comments during his shifts and then watch when he’s on the bench.

But Schnookie’s right — don’t let Avery make you hate your beloved team! You’re better than that! Think of Morrow, and Road Spikes, and Turco, and Modano! The absolute value of Morrow’s awesomeness is SO much higher than the absolute value Avery’s douchebaggery.

He is about to step off into the great black hole of hockey media coverage that is known as Dallas.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::: I think this is a very important thing to remember about him. If you strip away all the hype and slavering NYC tabloid media coverage, he’s basically just a self-aggrandizing, run-of-the-mill pest with a pretty decent hockey skillset. :D

If you strip away all the hype and slavering NYC tabloid media coverage, he’s basically just a self-aggrandizing, run-of-the-mill pest with a pretty decent hockey skillset.

Yeah, exactly. He’s going to be so excited to return to NYC. He’ll be all puffed up and ready for the adoration as he waltzes into town on a roadtrip. And that’s when Page Six will turn to him and say, “I’m sorry… Do I know you? Oh! Look over there! Flavor Of The Month! Flavor Of the Month! A word!” and then will flit off across the room, leaving Avery standing there, his Chanel machine gun drooping in misery at the rejection. It’ll be great!

I just saw that Malkin’s deal is identical to Sid’s. Do you suppose Sid is freaking out — “87 is my number! My number! He can’t get 8.7! That’s my signature number!!” He’s worried his soul is being stolen. Poor Sid.

Myra, don’t worry about it. Sean Avery wasn’t a serious enough problem to stop me from going to a Rangers game last Christmas (I think I was too busy trying to figure out who the biggest problem was for me for the Rangers to be a problem at all), and since I adore half the Stars, y’all can count on me invading your lovely “little” state eventually. I just have to figure out when I have time, and sort out that there is hockey on then too.

Dyou think the Stars will schedule a special game for me in summer? No? Frick.

Really, part of the reason that hockey flies under the radar in Dallas, aside from the fact that it’s less popular than the Cowboys, is the fact that our guys have hardly EVER done anything outrageous and are generally pretty decent guys.

When you compare the storms of controversy the Mavs and Cowboys have been in the past couple of years, the Stars pale in comparison.

But if Avery pulled on a reporter in Dallas what he pulled on a reporter in New York? Yes, it would be out of the ordinary and I imagine it would get reported in Dallas.

I don’t exactly see him being quiet as a churchmouse when he’s here. Especially with all the fashion opportunities he’ll have at his disposal.

Caitlin, why do you say those things? You’re only going to tempt the man.

I think it would be interesting to see how Avery deals with this new kind of media. I kinda want him to go crazy, and on the other hand, I really, really, really hope he just goes away.

I do plan on going to one of the opener games, if they’re actually going to fricking happen. And I can’t decide which one I want to go to. Penguins in Helsinki, or Rangers in Prague. Either way the games themselves aren’t very appealing to me, so I’d go for the city. But that is a blog post for another day.

I’d love to go see a game in a European hockey country :0 are you going then Mags?

I never knew about the Avery to Dallas rumours, but it’s not really that bad of a contract.. I think it’ll work out well for you guys, he’ll score some, save some.

Heh. I wonder if Malkin got a NTC. And, I just wanna say, wow to Detroit.. never cease to amaze. Plus, Hossa must be thinking his stats are going to go woah (bar injury) and he’ll REALLY cash in next year :0. with a ring to boot, if they can repeat.

hey all, I know I am late to the party on this, but ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Yeah, keeping the core intact is all well and good, but it’s the make-up of the complimentary guys that actually drives a deep playoff run. It’s going to be very interesting to see what happens to the Pens and how they go about replacing those missing pieces.

Are you calling Ryan Whitney and Jordan Staal bags of potato chips?! (Beacuse… well, they are! HAHAHAHA! Of course, I think Sid and Malkin are enough to get them pretty far, so I’m not writing them off. I don’t think losing Malone and Orpik will make that big a difference, and I don’t think Shero won’t go after another high priced rental next season since he obviously has no problem with it!)

Yeah, keeping the core intact is all well and good, but it’s the make-up of the complimentary guys that actually drives a deep playoff run.

My thoughts exactly. They’ve lost a lot of their role players, as well as their back up goalie. They’re going to have to start making some moves, as the UFA market is shrinking. I mean, even Holik has been snatched up! (too early?)

Steve, my theory on Holik is that he blows (obviously) and has an utter disdain for Devils fans (obviously), but Sutter proved this season that he’s not a guy who gets entrenched with his lineup or defers on principle to veterans. So either Holik will be effective as a fourth-liner, or he won’t skate. I suppose I can handle that. What I can’t handle is knowing that EVERY SINGLE post- and pre-game “dressing room interviews” clip of soundbites will include him. We already had to suffer the monotony of the shallow rotation of Marty, Madden, Langer, and Gio serving as 99% of our civilian-clothed (or nekkid) interviews, but now we’re going to get a steady diet of Holik, Holik, Holik. We will never see Paulie or Travis — never, never, never. They were rare enough sightings as it was, but with Holik? They might as well not exist. The worst part about this is that we just got our HD satellite, so now all our Devils broadcasts are FINALLY in HD. Just in time for Bobby Holik, 24/7/365. THIS IS TERRIBLE.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I love that it doesn’t matter who the players are — there are always those people whose knee-jerk reaction is just, “SHIT! Why didn’t WE get that guy?” It makes no nevermind to them what position he plays, or what style, or what their own team’s needs are. It’s just that he was available and someone else spent a lot of money on him. LOVE IT!

Holy hell, Vogl wants to trade Max for Jay McKee. I don’t think I can even read the rest of the entry. What is happening to my generally sane Vogl? Do I need to remove Harrington from the building before he’s infected?

andrew, Hainsey is pretty good. Decent 2nd pairing guy who doesn’t make a lot of mistakes, but will never be all that great. For what it’s worth, his contract looks reasonable (in this insane market), and he did well in Columbus this year. :)

Heh. but you know if Flower goes down again for the Pens, there’s no ConkBlock to pick things up for a stretch.

Maybe Hainsey is one of those guys who’s universally known by his first name. Like Patty Elias. He’s Ronnie or something. (Seriously, Ron Hainsey sounds like someone who played in the ’40s. Or, like, a pro wrestler from the ’40s.)

And I am STUNNED to hear that Jay McKee is only 30. I would have put cash money on him being 45.

It’s very kind of you to offer, but I think I shall have a better evening. I think I’m getting crankier because I haven’t had a chance to eat all day – so I’m starving. Once I get a chance to eat, I’m sure I’ll feel better.

Stars signed Crombeen for a year! (good/bad? I have no idea. I have lost all manner of perspective today)

Ehhh….Crombeen’s okay. A really nice guy, but he tends to be a fighter like Barch and less of a hard minutes kind of guy. Wins points for enthusiasm, though. His contract is one year, two way, so that works out in our favor, I think.

Oh, lord. The “WHY DIDN’T THE SABRES SIGN ORPIK HE ONLY GOT 3.75 MILLION WE COULD’VE AFFORDED THAT THE SABRES SUCK!” has started. I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and assume that… he might’ve wanted to stay a Pen? Maybe that had some sway?

Not just caramel! As I was just telling Vinny, a guy at the market makes them in all sorts of different flavours. Cinnamon, caramel, honey, maple and god knows what else. I’m going to try and find out if he makes chocolate ones too :D

‘Sources tell TSN the Columbus Blue Jackets and New York Rangers have completed a trade. The Rangers will get Nikolai Zherdev and Dan Fritsche, with Fedor Tyutin and Christian Backman going to Columbus.’

ooooooookay.

So the Rangers are massively wrecked in my book. I remember saying yesterday the Rangers could totally work with Redden/Roscizval/Staal. But uh, hello? trading away your most value-added blueliners?

and Columbus 0.0. Who the hell is poor Nash going to play with now!? and I actually liked Fritsche. :(

As I was just telling Vinny, a guy at the market makes them in all sorts of different flavours. Cinnamon, caramel, honey, maple and god knows what else. I’m going to try and find out if he makes chocolate ones too :D

:falls over dead:

Wow, you can order them in America? I had no idea there was such a demand for Dutch food here in the States, there’s an entire “Dutch food” store.

The deets are pretty good. I like the sounds of this little munchkin. He loves to hit people, he blocks like a gagillion shots, he’s a great Pker, and he’s good at faceoffs. Our top 6 forwards might be a wet, hot, mess, but at least our bottom 6 is way more bitchin.

alix, if you’re around, I just saw that the Canucks picked up Nolan Baumgartner. He spent most of his time in the AHL, but I like him and I think you’ll like him too.

EEEE!!!! I LUFF Baumy! He played for the baby Canucks and I think he used to play for the Canucks back in the day, but somehow Dallas kidnapped him or something, not really sure. But yeah he’s adorable. That’s good news.

So sorry about Avery, Stars fans. All I can say is I’m SO glad Avery hates Canada.

Oh and apparently Hordichuk is a goon. And he has a website with his best fights on it. I kind of love him already. I can’t wait for the first game when some wanker face washes one of the Sedins and he pounds their face in.

Now, it’s just too bad Sundin isn’t interested in a big truck of money…damn him for being a decent human being :P

well alix, at least we know who he won’t go to – Detroit or NYR (unless he signs one year- under 7.).. and there were only four or five offers. So there’s still a decent chance he ends up in Vancouver :0

This is true, Vinny. And his agent did say Vancouver’s offer was obviously the best. 10 million is a crazy amount of money, but it’s only for 2 years, so it won’t handcuff the Canucks long term, and we can resign that greasy goalie, and all the other important dudes. Sundin can speak Swedish all he wants, Matty will hook him up with cab rides, and it would be hilarious listening to Bob Cole trying to call Sedin, Sedin, Sundin, “Mats” Naslund. But his comments do kind of sound like he’s retiring. And I would hate the Canucks to be shut out of all the other remaining free agents…

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Did the Islanders watch Doug Weight at all on the Ducks this season?

Yeah, Nazzy’s got offers from the Rangers, Penguins, Wings(probably off the table now that they’ve signed Hossa), and the Wild(I would cry), but he still hasn’t moved anywhere. I think he’s probably waiting to see if Sundin comes to play in the Canucks sandbox.

With Sundin we’d have 6 Swedes. The Wings have more still, right?

The Penguins are slowly splitting apart at the seams, I think. They’re losing all those essential low key role playing munchkins.

The Pens are so textbook. They’re probably going to miss the playoffs after reaching the Finals.

I’m kind of thinking that Hossa signing with the Wings might not be the best way to win a Cup this year. The odds of even the Wings getting it two years in a row can’t be that good. They’re practically the one team you wouldn’t want to sign with.

It’s like the guy that that thought it’d be safer if he took a bomb on the plane because the odds of there being TWO bombs on a plane are almost nil. :P

I pretty much garauntee Nazzy is back if Sundin comes to play. It just seems too much of a coincidence that Gillis and Nazzy talked at length several times last week, and then comments Gillis has made about “Nazzy coming back if the situation in Vancouver is one that fits him perfectly.” Etc. And the fact that Nazzy has had pretty nice offers from pretty nice teams but hasn’t signed on the dotted line. Yeah, basically I just want Sundin to come so I get my smoking hot Captain back. And yeah. I think Nazzy would look into 1 year deals.

And I’m not gonna lie — I won’t shed any tears if the Pens miss the playoffs next year. Of course, unlike the Canes, they didn’t beat the Devils to get where they did, so I’m not counting on it. Without the Curse of Brodeur, I’m not sure they’ll be bad enough. :P

Hey, remember when Doug Weight got 9 million dollars? Was that to go to the Blues? I am not sure. (I think it was the same year the Stars gave Bill Guerin 9 million.) Do GMs even remember previous UFA days?

Nope. Clearly they don’t. I love the way that EVERY YEAR we get the quotes from “insiders” and anonymous GMs saying, “Holy crap! This is OUT OF CONTROL! I’ve never seen anything this crazy!” and then the next year it all happens the same way again. (And did a lack of talent in this year’s FA pool really make anyone think the money still wasn’t going to be thrown around?)

It’s hilarious to me to think of Weight, Guerin, and Holik all having once commanded $9M.

actually alix, there’s a thing to be said about cap space though, some teams will have to play with Gillis. and you know, last year everyone was saying they wouldn’t play with Lowe and lookit this year! Ther’s hope yet :)