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Saturday, 30 April 2011

This has been a weird week off as I have done little of note except guard ducks for the other half, no online PS3 access due to Sony allowing hackers to hack them and steal 2.2 million peoples online details, I have painted and made a lot of 20mm WW2 stuff and watched more movies than I care to remember but I have been nominated for two more Stylish Blogger Awards but I already had been so I will not fulfill all the criteria again as that would be boring but I do appreciate the nominations and I will nominate other blogs that deserve to be mentioned and hopefully get more readers and followers, that's what I do if I can and this is another opportuinity.

Also a retro post about the funniest story you will ever read from about my 10th post last year when I had very, very few followers and readers, so take your time and visit the blogs below because they will visit you if you follow and comment and take your time and read the chilli story (you won't regret it).

Now the rules of this award are to:

1. A 'thank you' and link back to the nominating blog.

2. Share seven things about yourself.

3. Nominate 10 or so other blogs you deem worthy of such an award (the chain-mail aspect)

This is a story I came across years ago and lost but found again, I hope you enjoy.

NOTE:

Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is! They actually have a Chilli cook-off competition about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. You will likely want to read this behind closed doors because, if you’re like me, you will be howling loud.

INEXPERIENCED CHILLI TASTER

Notes from an inexperienced Chilli taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the West coast:

“Recently I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Chilli cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment & I just happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the time cam. I was assured by the other two judges (both native Texans), that the Chilli wouldn’t be that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted”

Here are the scorecards from the event:

CHILLI # 1 MIKE’S MANIACMOBSTER CHILLI

JUDGE 1: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE 2: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild

FRANK: Holy shit!!!, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILLI # 2 ARTHUR’S AFTERBURNER CHILLI

JUDGE 1: Smokey, with a hint of pork, slight jalapeno tang.

JUDGE 2: Exiting BBQ flavour needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children; I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILLI # 3 FRED’SFAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILLI

JUDGE 1: Excellent firehouse chilli! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE 2: A beanless chilli, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA. I’ve located a Uranium spill, my nose feels like I snorted Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now; get me more beer before I ignite. The barmaid pounded me on the back: now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting’ shit-faced from all the beer.

CHILLI # 4: BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE 1: Black bean Chilli with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE 2: Hint of Lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chilli.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to tasteit, is it possible to burn your taste buds? Sally the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills: that 300lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I’m eating. Is chilli an aphrodisiac?

JUDGE 2: Chilli using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers made a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted & four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pissed me off when the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

JUDGE 2: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions & garlic. Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. ,I shit myself when I farted and am worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand beside me except that slut Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my arse with a snow cone”!!!

CHILLI #7 SUSAN’S SCREEMING SENSATION CHILLI

JUDGE 1: A mediocre chilli with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE 2: Ho Hum, tastes like the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3, he appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin & I wouldn’t feel a damn thing. I’ve lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chilli which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful. Screw it, I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll suck it through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILLI# 8 LESTER’SLAST OF THE RED HOT LOVERS CHILLI

JUDGE 1: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chilli, safe for all, not too bold but not spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE 2: This final entry is a good balanced chilli. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when judge 3 passes out, fell over & pulled the chilli pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it, poor yank, wonder how he’d have reacted to a really hot chilli.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

The Rejects met up on Saturday for a WW1 Naval Game hosted by John and played in Posties shed (man cave), the rejects were Richard, Smithy, Ray, John, Postie, Lee and myself, the game was already prepared and we were using John's home made rules.

Myself, Richard and Smithy were playing the British fleet, I started off with 4 capital ships, the Tiger, Warspite, Inflexible, Indomitable and the destroyer Pettard.

Smithy and John (umpire), apologies to John for the pits picture but it was bloody hot in that shed.

Contractual and obligatory Postie shot hard at work doing paperwork which was a big factor in this game.

If your ship had 28 knots in speed that meant you could travel at 7" as 4 knots equalled 1" but you could increase your speed by 8 knots (2") per turn or decrase per 4 knots per turn (1"), this caused problems for everybody.

Capital ships could change their direction by 45 degrees by turn as long as it was written down but destroyers could change direction by 90 degrees.

At the end of your movement and everybody moved at the same time, you could then write down the target you wanted to fire at, capital ships had to wait a turn to switch to another target with their main arnament unlike destroyers who could target anything within range.

Things are getting close and interesting, the closer the better for capital ships but especially destroyers as they had little chance against capital ships except for their torpedoes.

The charts every player had to keep track of their speed, damage and targets.

The water explosion markers were used to show what ships are been fired at, they are just the tops of cotton buds on a counter (brilliantly done and very visually effective).

You will notice in the top of the picture a little bit of ramming between destroyers which was another effective way of destroying ships and this time it worked but resulted in a lot of damage to the rammer but the object of the ramming was sunk.

Lee http://bigleesminipaintingblog.blogspot.com/ who was overall german commander surveys the battle from a safe distance, he and smithy spent the game exchanging fire at great distances until the end when they got into better range.

The oil slick markers bear testament to the damage being done at the other end of the table.

Another oil slick marker bears testament that destroyers should not try to ram capital ships because the outcome was a sunken destroyer and the capital ship only lost 4 knots of speed in damage.The destroyers were lethal when they got into torpedo range though.

A better view of one of the excellent water spray markers, the game ended after twelve turns with the british fleet victorious with 5 german ships sunk (3 to me, 2 to Richard) including the only capital ship sunk to only 2 british ships sunk, there were a lot more ships in trouble and would have difficulty reaching dry dock but I had never played these rules or period before and I thoroughly enjoyed the game and the day except for the bloody heat in that shed and my suggestion to Postie about an air conditioning unit was met with abject derision and scorn.

Monday, 25 April 2011

Six years ago NASA discovered the possibility of alien life within our solar system. A probe was launched to collect samples, but crashed upon re-entry over Central America. Soon after, new life form began to appear and half of Mexico was quarantined as an INFECTED ZONE. Today, the American and Mexican military still struggle to contain "the creatures"...... Our story begins when a US journalist agrees to escort a shaken tourist through the infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the US border.

Watched this and don't know what to think other than it appears to be a road/jungle/river movie with a love story blossoming and a lot of really large aliens thrown in, now I was expecting a lot of pitched battles and military interventions but there is a lot of hardware on show constantly, jets, helicopters, tanks etc... but very little action actually seen apart from jets constantly buzzing across the screen, explosions from bombing missions (which is probably the main reason the aliens attack) and the calls of the alien creatures.

This movie is more about the relationship between the 2 main stars, ice cold and a little hostile at the beginning but develops into something more as the movie progresses, it's a low budget movie but doesn't really look it, the aliens when you see them are quite well done, the movie doesn't explain much about them, you are left a lot to form your own conclusions, which to me are the armies of Mexico and the US trying to contain the creatures in the infected zone but not having a lot of luck, this is no District 9 but it was worth a watch.

Two points to be made, this movie was said to have one of the best sex scenes ever, I didn't realise they meant alien sex (best alien sex scene my arse, have they not seen Species) and the end and the beginning of the movies are mixed up, you won't mind having watched this movie but I think it's the type of movie you would only watch once.

Saturday, 23 April 2011

Just finished reading this book because I never had before and for what if reasons the author gives for their being a third reich in 1964, it's also been a movie and all in all it's not a bad read.

The story begins in Nazi Germany, the Third Reich in April 1964, in the week leading up to Adolf Hitler's 75th birthday. The plot follows detective Xavier March, an investigator working for the Kriminalpolizei (Kripo), as he investigates the suspicious death of a high-ranking Nazi, Josef Bühler, in the Havel, on the outskirts of Berlin. As March uncovers more details he realises that he is caught up in a political scandal involving senior Nazi party officials, who are apparently being systematically murdered under staged circumstances. In fact, as soon as the body is identified, the Gestapo claims jurisdiction and orders the Kripo to close its investigation.

March meets with Charlie Maguire, a female American journalist who
works for The New York Times, who is also determined to investigate the case. They both travel to Zürich to investigate the private Swiss bank account of one of the murdered officials. Ultimately, the two uncover the horrific truth behind the staged murders. The Gestapo is eliminating the remaining officials who planned the Holocaust (of which the German people are not generally aware) at the Wannsee Conference of 1942. This is being done in order to safeguard an upcoming meeting of Hitler and President Joseph P. Kennedy by ensuring that the crimes of the Nazi regime are not revealed. Maguire heads for neutral Switzerland with the evidence, hoping to publish it in The New York Times. March, however, is denounced by his ten-year-old son and apprehended by the Gestapo.

I've omitted the ending as not to totally ruin the book if you haven't read it but you have it pretty much covered by the book description, the book was a good read and it gives me a basis and some far fetched but plausible reasons for why the third reich is still hanging around in 1964 including why England is an ally?

Alternative History WW2 Throughout the novel, Harris gradually explains the fictional historical developments that allowed Germany to prevail in World War II. The earliest point of divergence mentioned is that Reinhard Heydrich survives the 1942 assassination attempt in Prague which actually killed him. Shortly afterward, Germany embarks on a series of decisive victories.

The German armies on the Eastern Front are stopped at the gates of Moscow at the end of 1941, as in our history. However, the second major offensive into the Caucasus proves far more successful than it was in reality, cutting the flow of oil to the Red Army. With his armies immobilised for want of fuel, Joseph Stalin is forced to flee to the east and a rump Soviet government surrenders in 1943.

Around the same time, German intelligence (in a way never explained) learns the British have cracked the Enigma code, which is leading to the sinking of German submarines. They withdraw their submarines from the Atlantic temporarily and send false intelligence to lure the British fleet to destruction. The U-Boat campaign against the United Kingdom resumes, starving Britain into accepting a humiliating armistice in 1944. King George VI makes Canada his predominant country of residence and prominent British officials, such as Winston Churchill, follow him there in exile. Edward VIII regains the British throne at the helm of a pro-German puppet government and Wallis Simpson is his queen.

Germany tests its first atom bomb in 1946, and fires an unarmed "V-3" missile that explodes above New York City, to demonstrate Germany's ability to attack the continental United States with long-range missiles. Following this demonstration of power, the United States signs a peace treaty with Germany. This results in the Third Reich being one of the two superpowers of the world, along with the US, which defeats Japan in 1946 (a year later than in reality).

As I said far fetched but plausible (it's the beauty of a What If? campaigns), now just need to see the movie adaption and I have just started reading SS-GB by Len Deighton.

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Going on annual leave from today until the beginning of May so my posting and commenting will be a bit hit and run but I'll be about as I'm not really going anywhere, going to be nice doing feck all.

Sumo (相撲, sumō?) is a competitive full-contact sport where a wrestler (rikishi) attempts to force another wrestler out of a circular ring (dohyō) or to touch the ground with anything other than the soles of the feet. The sport originated in Japan, the only country where it is practiced professionally. It is generally considered to be a gendai budō (a modern Japanese martial art), though this definition is incorrect as the sport has a history spanning many centuries. Many ancient traditions have been preserved in sumo, and even today the sport includes many ritual elements, such as the use of salt purification, from the days when sumo was used in the Shinto religion. Life as a rikishi is highly regimented, with rules laid down by the Sumo Association. Most sumo wrestlers are required to live in communal "sumo training stables" known in Japanese as heya where all aspects of their daily lives—from meals to their manner of dress—are dictated by strict tradition.

Monday, 18 April 2011

The Rejects headed to Salute this year with little money but good intentions, there was myself, Ray, Surjit, and Postie (The Daddy). We got to the show about 0955hrs and proceeded to the end of a bloody long queue but within 5 mins we were moving and got into the venue before a lot of ticket holders did (result!), headed for the Bring and Buy and with my one item waited for 25mins to register (some people in front of me had 30 or 40 items!). It was a good show in the sweatbox this year again, plenty of space is one of the good things to say about this venue, picked up some early WW2 british from SHQ, early war germans from Grubby Tanks (got some Kreigsmarine aswell but I think they're too early as they should be wearing helmets by the time of my project), some Pz 38 T's from Pegasus Hobbies, varnish, paints, some bases from Warbases. Nice free figure, free 6mm car and a nice bag from KR (RRP £14.99) more than making up for the £11.00 entry fee. Took some pictures but as usual not enough as you are there more for the product, this is not too say that the games weren't brilliant that were put on, it's just you forget to take a picture or remember you have a bloody camera.

The other good thing was meeting fellow bloggers and putting faces to names (pictures and links to their blogs below) and just meeting friends especially from my homeland. Postie (Reject's self appointed leader even provided a picnic of chicken sandwiches, cheese scones, crisps, chocolate bars and drinks which we had outside the venue literally sitting on the dock of the bay).

We left the show about 1530hrs and nearly on the motorway when Ray got a text message saying he had won a raffle prize from the Hougoumont people, so pretending to be Ray I rang back and asked what he had won (2 signed prints and 3 musketballs from the field of Waterloo), so back we go and collect the prize (Ray gave me one of the musket balls under protest) and startes the journey home again. Good Day out.

On a footnote I went to the Bring and Buy stand to collect the vikings I had put on sale that morning (they still hadn't been sold at 1430hrs when I checked) and was asked was I picking up, I said I was and he surprised me by coming back with some money a few minutes later, first time time I have left Salute with money that wasn't shrapnel. Result!

Pictures are the usual quality and vagueness and better will be found elsewhere today but they're personal to me and my lurking disability.