Maybe you and your mom can take cooking classes together. Since you would be taking the classes also it would be interpreted as doing something to spend time with her and might help you get just a touch closer. You don't have to become best friends but it would be a way for you to help her be better cook. I believe there are also classes that you can take with the kids. Locally, I have Central Market and I believe that Market Street has cooking classes also. My honey and I have talked about doing this even though both of us cook well but we would like to get tips that we might not know about or that can enhance our cooking. The only thing that gets in the way is his work hours. Most classes are on the weekday and he gets home after 7.

Please let me know if you decide to try this. I'm sure others would benefit from this idea if it works for you and your mom.

I will say that my Mom was a wonderful cook and she was really good at planning a good meal for our table. When I was growing up there was not a lot of money, but we had really good food. We had small portions of meat, lots of fresh veggies (she had a small garden in the back yard), fresh fruit at most meals. We had items like fresh radishes, young green onions, small pickles and olives on the table in small dishes to accompany our meals. We would have a salad made with greens or fresh fruit, and homemade bread. We would have special desserts made with the fresh fruit from the trees that were in the local area. Growing up I did not have a weight problem, as we ate a very well rounded menu from oats at breakfast, the a small lunch and then our dinner when Dad got home about 5 in the afternoon. We ate real food, not perservatives and fast food. I did not gain weight until I moved away from home and started eating fast foods, etc.

My mother is a terrible cook, also. It was wonderful in the 50s, but not up to today's standards in terms of ingredients or recipes, full of fat and salt and sugar.

I do all the cooking now and she has never said much about it. She eats it, but that's about it. She used to help me wash up after, but not any more.

I started by bringing a dish or two to her house years ago, and it took awhile for everyone to start wanting my food more than hers. At first she was upset. After all, everyone used to love her greasy meatloaf with bacon, and pies made with canned filling. When they found out how good fresh food can be, they eased over to my cooking. My siblings and I were all excited about new foods, starting in the 80s, but Mom never got over her love of old fashioned food.

It took time, but she did get over it. I never bad-mouthed her food, just didn't eat it, and always brought alternatives. It was about new and different rather than anything against her.

Good luck.

Nell Reston, Virginia

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

My mom keeps offering to cook for me and I do not know how to tell her I dont' like her cooking that won't make her mad. She is a terrible cook, even my kids dont' want to go eat at Grandma's. Her food has no flavor and she uses a lot of salt, butter, etc. She rarely cooks vegetables, unless it's corn, potatoes or candied carrots. She already got mad at me when I asked her to stop bringing baked stuff over, esp the stuff she bakes that "didn't turn out so well". She acted like I asked her to make it, We have a lot of issues between us and we will never be close but that doesn't mean I want to hurt her feelings. Does anyone have any advice?

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