Sheldon: What are you doing now?Howard: Making a straw.Sheldon: Why?Howard: So I can shoot you with a spitball.Sheldon: You're not going to do that, and I'll tell you why. This is an institution of higher learning, I am your professor, and you're going to treat me with the prop... You shot your spit in my mouth!Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I could do that again.

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.Howard: What a sick use of science.Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

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Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.Penny: You're kidding. Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.