help, husband using drugs. getting crazy

my husband is supposed to be getting cleaned. I caught him with hair when the other day. I did talk to my pills and benzos a pic 5 months and methadone clinic. . he was clean for years. he always told me that if I caught him a thing up then to fix it. I also do not want drugs in my home as we have children. he keeps telling me he hates me he doesn't want to be with me he's taking his paycheck. he's calling me a control freak because I flushed his heroin, which I have no idea how long he has been doing. he said I should of talked about it to him first. I flushsed it and thentalk to him about it. he keeps telling me I need to fix that and he's going to lose this job because he's dope sick. I am disabled and do not work I have no money. I want to help him but don't know how. and I only plus 3 caps. And he absolutely hates me and has not spoken to me for days or interacting with our kids. he even refused to go to work until I got his mother to get him on his way

Called in family to help as I realize I can only b accountable your my Own sobriety and actions. He's mad. I hurt Sooooooo bad inside but understand I cannot fix or help someone who doesn't want it. Family it's helping me keep myself and kids safe. TG. I called authorities but since w r married I CANNOT keep him out of our home. I have to leave and keep kids sate. TERRIFIED. 6 yrs of his, sobriety gone. If he wanted back on the wagon, I could handle that. He claims he does but only justifies WHY he HAS to use. Scared, alone, and won't know what to do. No money for attorney. I have been staying w friends but were wearing out our welcome. Any response done. Needed to vent. Thanks ifif you took time to.read this

I am sorry for what you are going though. I do believe though that you have done the right thing. You are right. You are only responsible for your own recovery and can only work your own recovery.It is hard, I know. Having been there I can only imagine how you must feel right now. Let him be mad. The whole thing about you not being able to keep him out of your home baffles me. If he is using and has syringes on him he is endangering your children. We can all think of reasons why we have to use. Please know that anytime you post, I do read. I haven't been well lately. Somehow I came in contact with someone who passed the flu onto me. I am here though.Dee

"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin"

Never take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider

@Kangel.....Many questions here...Does he or has he ever done Methadone or Suboxone? God knows within a day or two he could be off the street drugs and feeling much better. I will start there and await your answer I do not come here often I admin another forum for methadone patients and we have a lot of info, brochures and people there to talk to also....http://atwatchdog.lefora.com/Regardless I will come back here daily for the next day or two to see if you have come back here for answers and I will help D see if we can't get you thinking in the right firection for whats best gor you and maybe even him if he wants it....