Law of Attraction: What Type of Vibration ‘Should’ We Have?

One thing you mentioned that I have been thinking about a lot is the idea of our minds not really being ready to “dream big,” and only wanting to escape our current shit. In my energy “work”, I notice I am sometimes able to feel what it’s like to have a much higher vibration than I usually have in day to day life. This is a really trusting and pleasant feeling, even if it’s only temporary.

The thing is, I feel like I become aware of how high my vibration *could* be, and how the feeling my mind has it’s sights set on most of the time is not even the best feeling out there. A related thought pattern is not knowing whether I should orient myself towards a high vibration that is more physically energized, child-like, and exciting, versus a high vibration that is more peaceful and indifferent.

If simple pain-minimization is not the vibration we should be aiming for, how do we know what kind of vibration we should be going for? Hope this was clear. I have a feeling my mind played too big of a role in asking this question, but I’ll let you be the judge of that

All the Best.

Matt

So when thinking about how to answer this question, I realized there were some things I wanted to address in addition that might not seem relevant but totally are so bear with me. Often times I can see ‘beneath’ the question to what is driving it, and discussing that is what will really answer said question.

This question can’t be answered in the way our mind wants it answered because the mind just can’t seem to understand how this whole manifesting thing really works, that you can’t do it ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ That there is no ‘right’ vibration we ‘should’ be in.

Our mind is so used to strategies, blueprints, concrete steps and the like, and it carries this over into our manifesting ‘work.’ It thinks there must be some sort of rhyme and reason to this process that can be applied to every manifestation, and if it can just ‘figure’ it out, it is guaranteed to get what it wants.

But creating from energy is a very different ballgame, and doesn’t have the type of ‘rules’ to which we are accustomed.

So let’s dive in…

The Highest of Vibrations Already Exist Within You

‘Raising’ our energy isn’t so much about building some ‘better’ vibration from scratch but more about peeling away all the shit that stands in the way of the high energy that already exists within us.

There is a part of you that knows the ‘truth,’ that doesn’t judge experiences, that doesn’t attach, that doesn’t expect, that is down for anything us humans can experience without getting all bent out of shape about it, because it knows no matter what we want, we can find a way to it (understanding what we TRULY want though can take some time), that any ‘loss’ can be compensated for in some way.

All the ‘stuff’ we picked up here gets piled on top of that, and this energy can seem really far away, or even completely non-existent. No matter what is happening now, we can access that vibration, as Matt has experienced.

Because again, it is already there. Something allowed us to cut through the crap, whether it was a powerful insight, a particular manifestation, an inspiring book or conversation, or something that we can’t consciously pinpoint.

Now, as for staying in that energy ALL the time, let’s not forget…

Accepting Our Humanness and Belief In The Illusion

This is something that will fuck us up big time if we don’t constantly remind ourselves of it. Because deep down, or maybe not so deep down, you are hoping all your personal development ‘work’ will leave you in some state completely devoid of emotion your mind has deemed unacceptable.

You’ll breeze through your days in a state of total peace, completely unfazed by anything happening in your own life,immediate vicinity or the world at large.

Cancer diagnosis? No problem…heal that right up with my mind.

Betrayed by your best friend? No worries…my manifestation, taking total responsibility for my own feelings, all the while remembering no one can truly every hurt me.

Boyfriend walked out on you after finding out you’re pregnant? It’s all good…I know for sure I’ll find someone better, the money will come somehow and this challenge will help make me the best parent I can be.

While all those reactions are totally possible, most of us would probably have to work our way up to them after some initial fear, panic, anger, freaking out,etc…Most of us probably wouldn’t be able to maintain our happiness, child-like wonder and excitement in the face of the variety of challenges us humans may face.

You’ll be happy all the time, every moment, without any interruptions. You’ll ‘use’ the LOA to create your ‘perfect’ world where nary an inconvenience touches you.

We have created quite a world for ourselves courtesy of a belief system that is oozing with all sorts of fears and limiting beliefs. Us humans can be arrogant little fucks, and we think we ‘know’ a lot more than we do, when the truth is we don’t know jack.

When large groups of people are throwing energy behind all that crap, from a belief in scarcity to believing certain problems are unsolvable, to intolerance of others, we can manifest some nasty stuff.

It’s easy to forget beliefs are creating our human experience as a whole and not just our individual realities. And because we forget this, a lot of shitty-feeling, disempowering beliefs and perspectives seem very, very, add a million more very’s, true. We take appearances as indisputable fact.

You will almost certainly never fully disengage from that. You’ll hear all sorts of doom and gloom, from fears of financial collapse on a world-wide scale, to environmental disasters to terrorism and you’ll worry. You’ll worry about getting sick. You may feel unsafe.

You may truly believe some aspect of yourself, whether it be your race, sexual orientation or the environment in which you were raised, puts you at some sort of insurmountable disadvantage. You’ll think things are unfair. You’ll think certain people or other external entities have some sort of power over you, and you can’t do anything about it.

So, no, you may not always be able to access the ‘best’ vibration available and stay there as much as you would ideally want to.

You Can Only Start Where You Are

There is a good chance you were drawn to a teaching like the law of attraction because you wanted something you currently don’t have, whether it be money, a relationship, a healthy body, a job you like, etc…

There is a good chance you were feeling badly about this to some degree or you wouldn’t feel compelled to manifest it. You tend not to care about getting stuff you don’t feel you want or need in the first place.

There is a good chance your current ‘energy’ is in need of some work as you have likely picked up all sorts of limiting beliefs that don’t serve you. It is likely you have a skewed view of yourself, from thinking you are not attractive enough to have a relationship to being undeserving of having lots of money.

So, if this is the case, you almost can’t help but start this ‘work’ from a space of pain minimization. Your current state may be anywhere from feeling kind of blah and uninspired to downright miserable.

You want certain things because you think you will feel better if you have them. The truth of the matter can take a while to sink in on deeper levels. This truth being the absence of these things isn’t the true cause of your current discontent, it’s all the meaning assigned to their absence.

Your mind will fight you to the death on that one, but that doesn’t make it not true.

So right now, you may be very convinced you need something to happen in order for you to feel better; it’s understandable. Our mind makes quite the strong case for this line of reasoning.

Discovering a teaching like the law of attraction and all the advice about visualizing about what you want, etc…may have you thinking about this thing quite a bit, and its absence may seem to loom larger than it did before you got yourself into this whole conscious creation thing.

You get more attached to it happening because you think you need it to happen, and the pain you were looking to minimize just gets bigger. And this makes you want to ‘succeed’ even more. It makes you more determined to make sure you are doing manifesting ‘right.’

The pain of thinking something may never happen can pale in comparison to the pain of letting yourself want something, believing it might actually be possible, and then think you are ‘failing’ at manifesting it, or the Universe doesn’t want to ‘give’ it to you.

You can choose to stop manifesting from a space of pain minimization at any time…you really can. To decide we won’t be happy unless certain things come, to insist a particular manifestation is the answer to our unhappiness in the present moment, is a CHOICE, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

You don’t have to of course. It may be where you are right now, and totally detaching from what you want, and deciding to be happy now may not seem like something you can do, and that’s okay. You’ll get there.

For some of you, it may not even be that you feel like you can’t, but rather you are openly copping to the fact you simply WON’T. And that’s okay too.

You can still manifest from this space, but it will be a harder road, with a lot more suffering than necessary; and sometimes this is the sort of stuff we need to go through first to really see it’s not the way. Only after seeing the futility can we release this mode of operating more willingly.

You have to start from where you are, and work your way ‘up the ladder.’ These shifts are usually gradual but that doesn’t mean it has to take a prolonged amount of time. If you are expecting to go from where you may be starting from now, to existing in a space of total trust, openness and what have you, in one shot, you may be setting yourself up for some bitter disappointment and major frustration.

Things can start changing for you in any moment; any shift in energy can open up new possibilities. When it starts to sink in more deeply that the manifestations aren’t really the answer to feeling better, it is easier to accept this process for what it is–a process.

Gone are the days of trying to ‘force’ some super-high energy that is nowhere near where you are now, obsessing over every manifestation and its ‘meaning, getting attached to potential channels, PEOPLE or opportunities, or suppressing your true feelings for fear of being ‘negative.’

Seeing Our Feelings for What They Are

This can be a hard one to wrap our heads around, but one feeling is not better than another. Of course to us, it can certainly seem that way. We think it is ‘better’ to be happy than ‘sad.’ We think it is ‘better’ to be calm than angry.

Since being happier and a ‘better’ person is the goal of our personal growth work, the ‘good’ feelings should be dominant. We ‘shouldn’t’ feel the other ones as much, or at all. When they arise, we should squash them and be ‘positive.’

The preference for certain feelings over another is understandable. I like feeling relaxed instead of anxious; I prefer being happy to being sad. So I get it.

One of the things that will help us on this journey in a major way is working on suspending judgment of our feelings; of remembering what purpose they serve, and how ALL of them are okay. None need to be eliminated; none are ‘wrong’ or ‘bad.’

Our feelings are simply messengers showing us how we are focusing. They alert us to beliefs and perspectives that are probably helpful to see, that we NEED to see in order to make the shifts required of us to allow something different to show up in our experience.

The ‘bad’ ones aren’t the end of the world. We can make great headway in allowing our feelings without getting sucked into them as much, and this makes them feel less intense and/or shorten the duration.

We really need to release this childish insistence on wanting to be happy all the damn time. And that is not meant as some sort of pessimistic ‘life is tough’ worldview.

I simply mean we must develop a new relationship with the emotions to which we have so much aversion. We must realize we can have a great life and be a happy person while still feeling these sorts of feeling sometimes.

This Question Illustrates Our #1 Problem

This question speaks to one of the hardest and most important lessons we must learn (one we may never fully learn, especially if you study something like the LOA)–so long as we work on becoming happier and feeling better simply to ‘get’ something we are going to experience all manner of suffering.

And I totally get why we are doing this. I totally get why Matt asked this question–a really good question.

We want certain things and we are told we need to get ‘happier’ to get them, that we must ‘raise’ our vibration. So that is what we try to do.

But again, suffering, lots of suffering. That word might seem dramatic, but that is exactly what it is.

We will worry what the ‘proper’ vibration is. We will worry whether we are being happy ‘enough.’

We will suppress and deny energies that are fucking up our shit now, but we’ll be afraid to deal with them because we don’t want to feel ‘icky’ feelings, so nothing will change in any meaningful way, because the energies that created the undesirable in our life now, are not going anywhere.

We will have moments of being able to access that higher vibration, but it will be short-lived when nothing shows up to give us a reason to maintain it.

If our efforts at being happier and having a ‘higher’ vibration are solely to manifest something, when said something still isn’t showing up, all that good energy tends to go right out the window, since it wasn’t super-genuine in the first place.

The improved emotional state wasn’t the goal, it was a means to an end, and when that ‘means’ doesn’t seem to be working, our mind isn’t so gung-ho on continuing to use it.

And this is the point where we swear up and down we are aligned with what we want, we have been feeling SO good, we believe what we want is possible, we have total trust and faith in the Universe and what have we gotten? Bupkis.

We don’t give a shit if we’re happy, like truly happy, we just want our stuff. Our ego wants the satisfaction that comes from thinking the mind can ‘control’ reality and create whatever it wants.

Now we may never work on feeling better for the sake of simply feeling better; we may not always have such a pure intent. And that’s fine. Just is what it is, and part of being human. Some sort of change in our emotional state is obviously necessary to allow a different reality to take shape for us.

But what we can certainly make a sincere effort to do is work on feeling better now, not to get something, but because we will realize more clearly we don’t need to worry about all the things we worry about now, we are not alone in this, we are worthy and deserving for our sheer existence.

As this energy change takes place, we have no choice but to manifest wonderful things. You can’t not attract, you can’t not create, as long as you are here living. Manifesting happens on the level of ‘being.’

It’s okay to want what you want, and there is no reason not to have it. But don’t forget what you are really after at the end of the day–to feel better. That should be the end, not a means to some other end.

So Which is ‘Better?’

This is an interesting question and there really isn’t some sort of definitive answer. I can only give my own perspective based on my own experience.

The word ‘happy’ is used a lot to describe what we are after.

And I imagine most of us view ‘happiness’ as some super ‘high’ energy where we are always brimming with enthusiasm and excitement; a sort of rush of energy always coursing through us–like Matt said, it feels very physically energized. We have the wonder of a child always; gratitude gushing from our being.

This is a wonderful state to be in, but I don’t think we can exist in this sort of state all the time. I guess technically it is possible, but given our conditioning to live outside in, sometimes being tasked with mundane, unexciting things like doing laundry, getting stuck in traffic, harboring expectations and attachments, and what not, lots of things can taint this sort of energy. As long as you want to live a worldly life, totally ridding yourself of the perspectives, beliefs and reactions that make you ‘unhappy’ will probably not happen.

I actually got a lot ‘happier’ when I gave up this definition of happiness and the need to be in this sort of energy all the time. I felt I was trying to achieve something that wasn’t possible, and I was beating myself up way too much for ‘failing’ at being ‘happy.’

This state was so fleeting and being it in consistently felt so elusive. Constantly chasing something you feel like you can never catch feels really shitty.

I realized I could be happy without meeting this common definition of ‘happiness’ every waking moment.

These high-energy states are great when I am in them, and I do my best to soak them up, but I also do my best not to get too attached to them and lament their absence.

I work on trying to cultivate a sense of joy , and I think this can remain with me even in moments that are challenging because joy comes from seeing the ‘truth’ of reality, knowing you are loved and supported, knowing that no matter what is happening on the outside, it can and will be transformed so long as I believe this is so.

‘Happiness’ as we define it tends not to last in such moments since it is usually triggered by external circumstances our mind deems ‘good’ and worthy of happiness; and our mind is probably not going to feel that way about financial lack, a nasty divorce, feeling lonely or struggling with a health problem.

You will not be able to stay in a ‘happy’ state for very long, if you think getting something in particular is necessary for your happiness, if acquiring this thing is your primary motivation for being ‘happy.’

Unless you can TOTALLY release on the tendency to live outside in, and TOTALLY embrace the idea nothing outside of you can truly make you happy, staying that way all the time will be impossible

I’ll take ‘peace’ over ‘happiness’ any day. Matt used the word ‘indifference’ and that can have a negative connotation and I don’t know if I would use it particularly, though it is sort of accurate. I prefer ‘detachment.’ ‘

Attachment is painful; trying hard to be ‘happy’ and not being able to get there all the time is painful. Trying to force higher emotional states so you don’t have to deal with the ‘lower’ ones you may be feeling now is painful. Trying to get ‘happy’ just to get your ‘stuff’ is painful.

By cultivating a greater sense of ‘peace’ about life, you will find you can maintain that no matter what is happening, and that’s priceless because the real cause of our suffering is not what is happening, but how it is making us feel.

By feeling at ‘peace’ knowing the Universe has your back–provided you hold up your end of the bargain energetically–all the ‘stuff’ you think you need to ‘do’ to manifest is not necessary. You won’t worry about the ‘right’ or ‘best’ vibration.

The lack of resistance is the real key to manifesting, not ‘happiness’ as we define it. So the thing you must be paying attention to is not how ‘happy’ you are and how ‘high’ your vibration is, but how much you have honestly transformed the beliefs and perspectives that don’t support allowing this better-feeling state to take place naturally and with minimal effort.

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? What are your most desired feelings?

15 Comments

I’d like to say that it is possible to get to state where you can deflect all those things that are “bad” and still maintain a “zen” like attitude (please don’t through a pen at my head ?).

However this does take practice and time, for example I’ve been working with my energy and LOA for a good few years and every few months I seem to reach a higher ground level.

New “bad” things will arise that may wobble me but the time it takes for non resistance has reduced dramatically with practice. You absolute in saying that aiming for the ecstatic happiness all the time is not what we are trying to achieve.

It would be great but then boring the contrasts in life give us the happiness feeling in the first place. However maintaining joy and a level of “i can get past this and its ok” is the constant you want to get to.

Thank you for your amazing words.

Id also ask if you could possibly think about adding a “comment follow” tick box? Unless you have one I’m sorry I can never find it. You writing back is a gift i’d like to track.

Hi Zaira If you have maintained that zen attitude at all times, good for you! I am personally not there yet as I imagine most others aren’t either. Like you said, definitely takes practice and time. You are right a sense of contrast is what allows us to enjoy the happier moments more and allows us to even know what they are. I will look into that…good suggestion.

Thanks Kelli. Excellent post. Like a tick list of the conclusions I have been coming to over the past year or so from reading all sorts of sources and picking the bits that resonated with me. I like your approach. Seeing it all laid out in a blog post is encouraging and affirming. I feel like I’m thinking along the right lines 😉 I ‘just’ have to pay more attention to my emotions and try to relax into where I am at all times. . .

Thanks for your comment and so glad you liked it. I like what you said about seeing what resonated and piecing together your own approach. That can cut our learning curve quite a bit and allow us to make changes more quickly in a way that seems less difficult.

Hi Donna Thanks so much for your comment and so glad you found it helpful. That validation is very powerful because energetically, doubt and questioning can be very heavy. When you realize you are moving in the right direction, it can lift a huge weight.

Hi Kelli , I am going to share story here . In 2013 ,I became aware of law of attraction and I started using to attract my boyfriend back .He did come back but went away again. We have been on and off relationship since then . Now in 2017 , he is not again talking to me and I am hurt . My whole belief about is law of attraction is shaken . I feel disconnected about universe and about my ex boyfriend.i am still very sure that I want to marry him. Please help.

Hi Steph You probably won’t like my answer but even a slight willingess to buy in will be helpful. The law of attraction is all ‘about’ manifesting things that reflect our predominant thoughts, feelings and beliefs. It is not a ‘tool’ to be used to make specific things happen that our mind wants. That he came back and left isn’t any sort of failure on your part. He was a match to SOMETHING in your energy, there to show you something, it wasn’t necessarily because you were supposed to be in a relationship with him again. What we really want isn’t ever the ‘thing’ our mind is focusing on. The ‘thing’ may be the best representation, it may not be, but we always want a feeling. When we are energetically aligned, the things we want come easily, there is no struggle. THere is no trying to force it. I can’t predict the future and I don’t know what will happen but you have to be open to the fact there may be someone better out there for you. A person who doesn’t want us is never our best match in this moment.

Hey Steph, Yesterday I received this quote from Abraham Hicks on my inbox: The Essence of My Every Desire Can Be Fulfilled… If your time-space reality has the wherewithal to inspire a desire within you, it is our absolute promise to you that your time-space reality has the ability to deliver, in full-manifested form, the reality of the desire it has inspired. Any and all desires can be fulfilled unless you are holding yourself out of alignment with your own desire. The feeling of competition or shortage, or limitation of resources, means you are out of alignment with your own desire. You may be giving split energy to both what you want and don’t want. Search up Neville Goddard, some of his books or quotes may help you understand why you’re in that situation. And don’t worry because all is really truly well. Like Abraham said, the fact that a desire is born within you is proof that you can have it. You’re on the right path. Happy manifesting!

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About Kelli

Hi, I'm Kelli! Welcome to my blog. In a nutshell, I am a writer and coach taking advantage of my mobile sources of income to indulge in my passion for travel. If I can get an internet connection, it's all good, and since May 2011, my husband Ryan and I have been 'citizens of the world.'

This blog is a result of the wisdom I have gained on my own journey to becoming the person I want to be and living the life I want to live. It is my hope what you read here will inspire you to do the same.