See Samantha Bee’s Advice for Dudes Who Don’t Want to Be Accused of Harassment

In the wake of the growing scandal surrounding Harvey Weinstein—and after countless other sex scandals centered on powerful figures including Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes, and Bill O’Reilly,—men are getting nervous. In fact, some have already started distancing themselves from female employees entirely to avoid a possible scandal. Clearly, this is a ludicrous response—but why say that when late-night’s sharp-tongued Samantha Bee could say it for us in two minutes flat? In a special P.S.A. for men, the comedian did just that Wednesday night.

“Fellas, I’m a big comedy star slash Hollywood executive, and I’ve found that it’s quite easy not to masturbate in front of my employees,” Bee says in her sketch. “In fact, it’s one of the easiest things I don’t do. Every day, I wake up, get dressed, take the subway to work, and then don’t masturbate in front of anyone.”

In the week since the Weinstein scandal broke, most of late-night’s male comedians have remained either silent or near silent on the issue. It’s hard to discern precisely why they’ve not spoken out as they did during controversies surrounded other figures, including most recently Ailes and O’Reilly. Regardless, Bee’s address channels the withering, seething frustration many people—particularly women—have been feeling as horrifying allegations continue to pile up against Weinstein.

“Next time you get the urge to masturbate,” Bee continued Wednesday night, “just ask yourself, ‘Am I in front of an employee or a colleague?’ And if the answer is yes, don’t. Just don’t. And also, while I have you here, men, I’m sorry to break this to you, but your dick is ugly. No one wants to see your dick in any context. Even the straightest, horniest woman who loves you the most is hoping you can get it inside her without her having to look at it, so definitely don’t show it to strangers.”

As for men who worry about even the perception of impropriety? As Bee points out, it’s still pretty simple: “Don’t masturbate in front of people who haven’t specifically asked you to, and even then, stop and ask yourself, ‘What is our power dynamic? Is there a chance in hell that this person might only be agreeing to see my hideous dick out of fear for their career?’ If so, make a good business choice and keep your business in your pants. Good talk, guys.”