I have arrived at the conclusion that people will judge others by their
own values and will not, and can not judge people by a set of common
values or by the others values. Even if one claims to be impartial,
there is still an element of personal judgement that will come into
play and distort the facts.

For a friendship to work the two participants must
understand each others values and think about them when making desicions,
The strength of a relationship can be judged by the understanding of each
others values. If the friendship is suffering it is probably because one
or the others values have been violated.

It is easy to see that this could happen for two reasons,
firstly the value was not know by one friend, and as a result the reaction
from the aggrieved is realised through conflict. The second reason is
malice, one participant knows how to wind up the other and thus purposefully
acts against the values of the other participant

Friendships can exist at many levels of value respect,
and a good friendship can quickly become a bad one if one participant
willfully or stupidly neglects the others values.

Values must be based in experience and while subject to change
over the course of a life, will not change day-to-day, they will govern
behavior and feelings, if the feelings are not communicated when the values
are violated a downward spiral incurs and will ultimately result in a
collapse of the friendship.