Tusk

Kevin Smith is in a pickle. He is accomplished enough to make any film he chooses regardless of subject matter or concern for commercial success. His beloved Jay and Silent Bob characters remain cult heroes while his more mainstream fare such as Jersey Girl (2004) and Cop Out (2010) lack acceptance from both his indie fans and the casual filmgoer. Smith frequently threatens to quit the filmmaking business for good yet returns now and then with a new indie passion project. These films including Red State (2011) and now Tusk do not chase ticket buyers; they exist solely to occupy Smith’s time and come off as an inside joke between his close friends and him. What I am trying to say is, just because you can make any film you want to, it does not mean you should. I enjoy Smith’s AMC TV-series Comic Book Men based on his comic-focused podcast charting the ups and downs of his buddy’s independent comic book store. Tusk grew out of a similar podcast he hosts with his longtime friend and producer Scott Mosier. They kicked around the film’s central idea and imagined how they could make a movie out of a foundation so outrageous and absurd. What Smith and Mosier overlooked is the idea has already been done, it was The Human Centipede (2009), a film that requires zero copycats.

The particular podcast outlining Tusk’s rough draft was most likely hysterical. The back and forth between Smith and Mosier probably worked with both of them spouting, “Oh! What about...” and “What if the main character does this…”. Tusk’s opening scene even shows two podcasters enjoying a similar dynamic. Wallace (Justin Long, 2014’s Veronica Mars) and Teddy (Haley Joel Osment, IFC’s The Spoils of Babylon) are shock jocks, but not for the drive time rush hour. They formed the Not-See Party, a joke that must be explained far too many times to be funny. Wallace travels the country interviewing viral video subjects while Teddy sits back home ready to mock and criticize upon Wallace’s return.

Against the wishes of his girlfriend, Ally (Genesis Rodriguez, 2013’s The Last Stand), Wallace takes off for Manitoba, perhaps the only time in the history of cinema where a character declares he is dead set on travelling to the overlooked province. For some unexplained reason, and I am sure there is one, Smith and company pokes and prods the very idea of Canada. Wallace is rude and obnoxious in the most stereotypical American way. The locals overdo the “Aboot” accent and the Canadian customs agent spends an unusual amount of time explaining to Wallace the importance of hockey and Canadian hospitality. The American/Canadian subtext never comes together. It is a noticeable undercurrent whose only purpose is to try and make you laugh but doesn’t and then never concludes with an overall message. Do people still laugh at the Canadian love for hockey and their slightly different dialect?

Wallace fails to interview his intended subject but thinks he strikes gold when he spies an advertisement posted over a men’s restroom urinal. The handwritten note seeks a lodger who will provide companionship and a useful pair of legs for a wheelchair-bound old naval man living in the middle of nowhere. This note is a variation of an actual advertisement, which was the subject of Smith and Mosier’s original podcast; a man sought a tenant who would live rent-free in his home if he would dress up as a walrus.

I will avoid further plot discussion because Tusk should be seen without detailed knowledge of what happens between Wallace and the wheelchair-bound Michael Parks. I believe Smith aims for comedic horror yet the audience will neither laugh nor be scared. Shocked and producing audible “eww” noises will be the most expected response. Parks steals the show with his deadpan performance while Long is merely tolerated as the over-the-top, shrill American with an awful mustache. Later on, a character named Guy Lapointe shows up who is also billed in the credits as Guy Lapointe. I will not reveal who is behind the makeup, as I did not figure out who it was during the film. If you actually spend money to see Tusk, consider it a challenge to guess the famous actor before you cheat and look it up.

Tusk is different. Tusk is the product from a director fatigued by Hollywood-by-numbers and only interested in creating stories that personally fascinate him. These characteristics, while laudable, do not automatically produce a good movie. Tusk is surprisingly awful. Just as Smith made Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) specifically for his rabid fans, only Smith fans can overlook just how banal and insular the subject matter is. The B-movie qualities will please a fellow director like Quentin Tarantino, but Tarantino would never waste his time on a film so obviously catering to the one-off attempt to shock the audience. I doubt he would ever try and be so shallow. Tusk is weak but will still be a popular draw at cult classic midnight screenings. I continue to applaud Kevin Smith’s decision to only create films he personally connects with regardless of its chance of acceptance. However, Tusk is a derivative project that should remain as a downloadable podcast. Eccentricity does not automatically equal quality.