Sweet memories.

It has been ten long years since I threw my arms around Mom on Mother’s Day and gave her a hug and a kiss, then thanked her for being my mom, but, truth be told, I didn’t only do this on the day that we honor our mothers. I think about her every day and not just because I see the many photos lined up on the fireplace mantel, or positioned just so on the dresser or bureau. Mom imparted a lot of wisdom to me over the years and taught me right from wrong and for that I am blessed.

Above is the first photo of Mom
and me, the day she brought me home from the hospital. What was she thinking with the faraway look
in her eyes and clutching onto me for dear life?

This is the last photo taken of
the two of us.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

My mom had a tough life and endured many hardships. I only wish I could be half the woman she ever was. Growing up and to adulthood, I looked exactly like my father – same straight and mousy-brown hair, eyeglasses … “mirror images” people would say.

But the similarities stopped
there.

I got my mother’s disposition, virtues and her smile … I rejoice for that.

Although I recently joked about our housecleaning
squabbles, (and sometimes our arguments weren’t nice, as I did my share of
protesting about the “unfairness” of keeping the house immaculate and “white-glove
perfect”), only now do I realize it was merely an exercise in asserting our
respective viewpoints. As you know, it
is important in every relationship that each person is entitled to their own
opinion. Yes, life isn’t fair sometimes,
but you have to learn not to sweat the small stuff. That is easier said than done sometimes and I
often struggle as I often sweat the small stuff.

Life was not fair for my mom from an early age. In 1937, at age eleven, she was hit by a car, an accident that would plague her the rest of her days on earth. She spent four years in Toronto’s Hospital for Sick Children, some of that time in a body cast.

Mom was just a schoolgirl …

… on her way home from school, when she was hit by a
soldier on leave, after darting in between two parked cars. He didn’t see her, but heard her scream, then
rushed her to a nearby doctor’s office and my grandparents were called. This car had headlights that rose out of the
grille and were the same height as Mom’s chest, so several of her ribs were
broken. The doctor taped up the broken ribs
and young Pauline received a scolding from her mother for tearing her leotards
and her parents having to miss work. The
soldier offered to buy new stockings and he paid for the doctor’s visit. His insurance company was in touch with my
grandmother and asked her to sign a form that no serious medical mishap had
happened, which she willingly signed.

However, unfortunately the story doesn’t end there.

At that time of the accident my mother had a minor ear infection. She was not running a fever, had no other ailments associated with the ear infection, so, rather than take her to the doctor, my grandmother plugged up her ear with a wad of cotton batting. Almost two months later, the ear infection that was present in her body, plus the broken ribs, became problematic when an infection set in on the still-healing bones. This caused osteomyelitis (infection of the bone). Mom woke up one morning with a high fever and weak and was rushed to the E.R. where they diagnosed her with osteomyelitis. She was admitted to the hospital, operated on and spent the next four years at the Hospital for Sick Children.

My grandparents had a huge hospital bill, which they paid
off weekly, because, as you recall they signed off on any liability by the driver.
Many surgeries later, she was released
from the hospital at age 15, then resumed any schooling she had missed (the children on the
wards had a tutor come into the hospital).
Mom would graduate from high school, then go on to business
school.

My grandfather was a tyrant who complained every day
about how much money he spent as a result of her careless actions at age 11 and
the vitriol he spewed became worse after his weekly trip to the Lansdowne
Tavern after cashing his paycheck. They
hated one another, but she lived at home until she married in 1953.

Unfortunately, if her medical and parental woes were not bad enough, my mother married a man who would later decide he was unhappy with his little family (Mom and me) and thirty years into their marriage, he announced on Christmas Day he wanted a new life. But before this proclamation, he stopped at the bank and withdrew all their savings, and had already tapped into an annuity fund by forging her name by falsely pleading a “family hardship”. He left the country in early 1984, never to be heard from again. My mom was only 57 years old at the time. We grew closer than ever before, and, not to toot my own horn, Mom often said I was the best thing that ever happened to her in her lifetime. That sentiment touches my heart to this day and I confess a tear just rolled down my cheek as I typed it.

Mom had 42 operations in the course of her lifetime, 41 were related to the car accident and one, a C-section, when I was born. She had scars all over her body, but I heard about that &^%# C-section scar all the time … no worries, it was all said in jest, just like for years when she complained I had the measles for her birthday and the chicken pox on Mother’s Day the same year.

I never saw my mother cry, except at my grandmother’s
funeral and when our beloved parakeet, Joey, died in her hands.

At the risk of getting too maudlin in this post, I want to share some fun and lighter moments … and pictures at this look back of Mom and me.

Mom and her “Momisms”.

Mom was actually the disciplinarian in the house when I was growing up because back then I was “Daddy’s Little Girl” but, it was my mom who swatted my bum if I “lipped back” at her (rarely) and I one time got a “lickin’” after I interrupted her on the phone one too many times. I never did that again and yes I still grew up okay, despite the occasional spanking.

Most of the time Mom gave me ultimatums to ponder over, like “if you don’t do this, you will suffer the consequences.” There was both fear and respect by me for those utterances.

Here’s a good example of an ultimatum. When I was a little girl, Mom would sweep my hair into a high ponytail and I had grosgrain ribbons that matched each outfit. I loved my ponytail and it was the style for all little girls my age at that time. But Mom would pull and tug while fixing my hair and I’d wiggle around. She threatened me that if continued to wiggle and squirm and yell “ouch” that the ponytail would be cut off.

Yes, sadly you see that I
didn’t hold still and this was the result.
Later, while going through the album with Mom, I would ask if she just
whacked it off at the ribbon as my next hairstyle looked pretty raggedy to me,
especially those bangs. She and my
father would stand on either side of me to cut my bangs. They had tape, a string and a pair of
scissors. They’d keep evening off the
wet hair and when it dried, those bangs were up to my hairline.

Perhaps it was easier when she just twisted what little bit of hair I had into a curly-Q with a dab of spit (ew).

All I know is that I should never have rebelled and been so vocal when she did my ponytail, because not only was a slew of wacky hairstyles to follow, but I had to endure pin curls every night. I didn’t have dainty little ringlets either and when I got a “Toni” home perm, my hair frizzed out and I looked like I stuck my finger in a light socket.

There were “Momisms” like “you’ll never know when you’ll need these items.”

Some of Mom’s many words of
wisdom live on and some resonate with me more today, than when she first
uttered them.

Through the years I’ve written
about Mom’s words of advice in a few blog posts, referring to them as “Momisms”
and they were her practical suggestions for me to heed. I know I wrote a post about the time I was
walking at Council Point Park and the string on my sweatpants waistband broke
and my pants started to go north. I had
to hike them up with one hand the rest of the perimeter path and all the way
home. Now see, if I had only remembered
her suggestion that I have a few safety pins on hand because “you
never know when you’ll need a safety pin” and I would not have found myself in such a
pants predicament.

For years I heard “take
a sweater with you, as it’s easier to take it off, than put it on if it’s at
home.” Maybe this is why I am
still bundled up for my daily walk and it is nearly mid-May?

Some “Momisms” have become obsolete like “always carry two dimes with you, in case you need to call home and you fumble and drop one of the dimes.” Well cell phones have eliminated the need to tuck away those two dimes in your wallet – besides, I can’t remember the last pay phone I saw and one thin dime would not go too far anyway.

Sometimes Mom’s “suggestions” were
not even from word of mouth. She would tear
an article out of a magazine and put it where I’d see it, or she’d remove the
teabag tag with its worldly advice and place the tag by my dinner plate.

And then there were more “Momisms” on what defines a “lady”.

As you might suspect by the length
of this post, I have been thinking about and jotting down ideas for this
special Mother’s Day blog post. However,
I decided to do a little twist on Mom’s words of wisdom, since these remembrances
have been bubbling around in my brain for a few weeks. I do realize so many of her suggestions,
dispensed decades ago, smack of Emily Post and are outdated and really archaic now. But Mom’s aim was that her little girl should
become the epitome of genteel.

Do you know when I was younger,
that along with being told to respond with “thank you” or “you’re welcome” in an almost-automatic
manner, I was even taught to curtsy. (It
might have been being brought up in Canada and the British influence for that
one.)

I could go on and on with Mom’s
words of wisdom, but I do know that when I got a little older, the suggestions
added the words “a lady doesn’t ___________”; for example “always carry a hanky or a couple
of Kleenex because a lady doesn’t sniffle.”

Today, these ideas are all so prim and proper, but I am glad I grew up knowing manners and how to act and dress appropriately without the benefit of a fancy-schmancy finishing school. Here is a look demonstrating how “a lady should always look prim and proper.” Oh my – the folded hands encased in white gloves … I looked three times my actual age.

She’d tell me “a lady always wears a hat to church.” So I did.

Mom would admonish me big-time today because she said “a
lady always carries a purse” …

… nowadays my purses are all packed away and I stuff my
stuff into a polar fleece vest with zippered pockets in Winter, a fisherman’s
vest in Summer and a fanny pack the rest of the time.

I was told early on that “a lady doesn’t slouch and always sits up straight in a chair and especially at the dinner table” but I guess that rule didn’t apply to babies.

When I began feeding myself, I
got a Little Miss Muffet spoon and was told to pretend my dish was a clock and
to “eat around the clock” and if I didn’t eat my first course, I got no dessert. So, I always finished my food. Oh yes, I was told “a lady never chews with her
mouth open” though it was pretty difficult to finish off a corncob
neatly, especially when you were likely
missing half your baby teeth.

I guess this was before Mom
suggested “a lady always sits with her ankles crossed” but then she sat
the same way, so perhaps the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Did your mom tell you to always
make sure you looked in the mirror before you left the house because “a
lady always should always look neat and polished” … this was years ago
at a family friend’s cottage – I guess I threw caution to the wind here?

And speaking of looking good when you’re dressed up, Mom said “a lady smooths down her dress, so she doesn’t have wrinkles when she stands up” … hmm, how does one smooth down a frilly dress with a stiff and scratchy net crinoline that is all poofed out underneath the dress?

Or this dress where Mom threaded a gizmo that looked like an embroidery hoop at the hem? I hope I wasn’t wearing patent leather shoes that day. Just thinking that it’s a wonder a stiff wind did not send me airborne à la Mary Poppins!

I’m sure there are loads more
fun remembrances to share … I know I carry a ton of them in my head … and in my
heart.

Yesterday I passed a nearby church on my way to the 5K event. That church has been there for decades and often has a sign with a message pertaining to a holiday or special event … I usually glance at it. I saw the message as I drove past and when I got home, I walked over and took a picture of the sign as I knew it fit today’s post to a “T” and I’m sure you will agree.

I am sure if Mom would have made all her words of wisdom into a song, it would have been similar to Lee Ann Womack’s “I Hope You Dance”.

This was a long post and if you’re still with me as I meandered through the memories and the years, I’ll say thank you and also will tell you “Happy Mother’s Day” if it applies.

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About Linda Schaub

This is my first blog and I enjoy writing each and every post immensely. I started a walking regimen in 2011 and decided to create a blog as a means of memorializing the people, places and things I see on my daily walks. I have always enjoyed people watching, and so my blog is peppered with folks I meet, or reflections of characters I have known through the years. Often something piques my interest, or evokes a pleasant memory from my memory bank, so this becomes a “slice o’ life” blog post that day. I respect and appreciate nature and my interaction with Mother Nature’s gifts is also a common theme. Sometimes the most-ordinary items become fodder for points to ponder over and touch upon. My career has been in the legal field and I have been a legal secretary for four decades, primarily working in downtown Detroit, and now working from my home. I graduated from Wayne State University with a degree in print journalism in 1978, though I’ve never worked in that field. I like to think this blog is the writer in me finally emerging!! Walking and writing have met and shaken hands and the creative juices are flowing once again in Walkin’, Writin’, Wit & Whimsy – hope you think so too. - Linda Schaub

Your photos and your [her?] Momisms are priceless. I wore a hat to church, too. Same reason as you did. And my mother was all about “neat and polished” attire. Such a nice glimpse into your childhood and your mother’s. Thanks for sharing this here.

Thanks Ally – All my mom’s sayings and suggestions and much of her wisdom imparted over the years. I’ve shared a few in other posts, but not to this extent. I decided a few days ago it would be fun to compile the old photos and share a few more. Our mothers were similar that way and always having to look “neat and polished” even playing outside or inside the house. Glad you enjoyed the glimpses of both our childhoods, mine was a far happier one than my mom’s. When I first learned to walk and was allowed to cross the street on my own to be with friends, she told me never to walk in between parked cars because “look what happened to Mommy.” I never have done so but I worry that someone will not be paying attention and run me down in the neighborhood … you must have eyes and ears at all times.

Linda – I agree about the needing alert eyes and ears – This is why I do not walk outside more often – well I try to find sidewalks – but sometimes I see joggers on the road and they sure take a lot of safety for granted – they should have as much reflective stuff on as possible – and maybe lights – (and your momma sure endured a lot with her healing 💛)

My mom told me to be careful around cars from the get-go and I always listened. These days drivers speed down the residential streets and don’t heed anyone. Because I am tall I can see into cars and I see people looking down at their phones; it was bad enough if they drove and talked on the phone, but texting or reading e-mail is much more worrisome … it only takes a second for an accident to happen. We just had a bicyclist mowed down by a driver on a busy highway at mid-day yesterday. He will be okay. I was speaking with a guy at the 5K – he told me this was his first 5K walk in two years since he was hit on his bicycle by a semi-truck. He was 24 and his spinal cord was bruised badly and spinal fluid was leaking. Doctors were worried about paralysis but he prevailed and after a lengthy rehabilitation is just now feeling normal.

Thanks Kait – glad my post brought back some fond memories for you. I didn’t realize little girls over here learned to curtsy too. I lived in Canada until age 10. I learned the same as you that when an elder entered the room you curtsied … now many people would snicker at that Kait. Because of my mother’s many orthopedic issues, she could not bend down to demonstrate how to do it, so she recruited my grandmother who grumbled about her arthritic knees, but showed me nonetheless. I should have included that in my post. 🙂

Linda—
Of all of your well written stories I think this is my favorite!! Your mom was incredibly special and stunning!! She actually looked like my grandma Guedalia. I loved hearing about your childhood and seeing photos of you and your mom over the years. I understand at a deeper level your compassion and sweet soul!! You are beautiful Linda! Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for saying that Jennifer … this post was really heartfelt and I shared a lot of things never said before in my blog, namely about my father, and grandfather, (though I’ve referred to him as an old coot plenty of times), but I felt those things should be included when speaking about my mom’s strength, fortitude and resilience. You are a person who knows all about guts in the face of adversity Jennifer. Yes, reading this you realize that I have much compassion for someone who has dealt with pain and sickness and have never taken my health for granted. Thanks for your comments Jennifer. I hope everything is going better for you these days and Happy Mother’s Day to you!

Love the pictures. The one that is the last picture of you and your mother is precious. Either you are very tall or she is very short. She sure did have a hard life and I’m sure you were the highlight of it. We always dressed up for Sundays, church and then dinner. Had to stay clean. Always a hat to church and gloves too even when I was 13. Most of those old customs have gone by the wayside. I was to a funeral recently and the younger folks were in jeans. My mother would have had a fit. She said dressing up was a sign of respect.

Thanks Kate. It was bittersweet putting together this post. Especially that one line, so at times I was teary eyed and then I’d remember some of the sayings and matched up some pictures and brightened up my spirits again. My parents were both short – my mom was 5′ 2″ and my father was 5′ 3″ and I was 5′ 9″ (last time I measured and after reading Janis’ recent post, I may be shorter). My paternal great grandmother was tall as I understand it. My mom had a rough life indeed and I decided to dredge up a few things because certainly the medical issues would’ve been a big enough cross to bear without the rest. She died of sepsis so it was rough for her til the end. There were rules for everything when I was growing up and expectations as well. And it is all about respect. My grandmother lived down the street from St. Helen’s Church, a huge church in Toronto where she went to mass most of her adult life. After she had heart issues, and couldn’t make the walk up the steep street anymore, she would sit on the porch and watch everyone walking to church on Sunday morning for each of the three masses. She died in 1986 so even in the 80s, I can hear her saying to us that women went to church with no hat, gloves and pants of all things! One young woman went in shorts. She was appalled. I would be appalled to see jeans at a funeral. I am so old school and at my age likely will never change.

Wow Linda…..I don’t know where to start. Your post was lovely and poignant and funny and sad and honest and brave all rolled into one. What a tribute to your mother. You and I were both lucky to have had strong brave women raising us. As the expression goes, “your mother raised you right!” I am even more convinced we must have been separated at birth, as I had some of the same clothes and hairstyles, including that little curl on top in my first baby picture which I always hated, the Toni perm, and having to have the short hair with the even shorter bangs to avoid the fuss of styling! I remember it all, the crinolines, the white gloves and hats to church etc. Your mother had a hard life, but it made her a strong person, and she in turn made you a strong person and a kind person. I know you miss your mother today and all days, but she is still with you in spirit. I too think that this one of your best posts yet!

Thank you Joni – I am glad you liked this post. Originally I just intended it to be the first and last picture and to mark the monumental anniversary and then I decided to include a few of her sayings and use those pictures of me growing up. Things morphed a little when I then decided to include some of her hardships as well because, in my opinion, sometimes we have one cross to bear which is enough, and the medical issues that would plague her from one careless childish moment were certainly enough to have on her plate, without the added ugly events in her life. Yes, that made her strong, and me strong for bearing it alongside her. I do miss my mother, and I know she was ready to go. I do think of her everyday, but feel sad mostly on her birthday (Valentine’s Day) or Mother’s Day. And the fact that she had a horrible final few days of her life was equally unfair. I could have mentioned that she died of sepsis after she was confined to bed, had a perforated bowel and it caused sepsis, a trip to the E.R. where I was told she had 12 hours to live … my mother was ready to go after she willingly confined herself to bed. She had slowed down in recent years, but still was active in mind, spirit, just slower. But then getting out of bed,and she had horrible dizziness the last year and the dizziness she experienced the last month of her life was so bad, that she could not keep her glasses on as she said she had double vision, so she couldn’t even read. She was ready to go and I don’t wish anyone to have their long life prolonged – we had DNR orders in place for both of us for many years. I thought you might enjoy the old pictures, especially the vintage ones of my mom (I hope you and are and our pictures, like you have featured in your backyard in your skating post are not considered vintage – yet). It was fun putting this post together for those old shots, and I dredged up the story about my father and grandfather, something I’ve never put in a post, though I’ve mentioned both of them in comments. I have said my grandfather was an old coot and I one time bit him on the ankle after he yelled me for not speaking proper French – he was from St. Jerome, Quebec and spoke French and I was learning Parisian French which was not like his type and he criticized me. I never mention my father except for referring to something when I was growing up. We lived through all those styles didn’t we – did you have the embroidery-hoop style too? I don’t recall if the hoop went through the dress or a special slip. I suspect a slip. I am running late, going to see if the rain/fog, etc. has made it a little better out there.

I did enjoy it very much. Yes you had mentioned your mom’s sad end once, a perforated bowl/sepsis is horrible, they can go so quickly, no time to say goodbye. And I think it’s a good thing you mentioned your dad and grandfather. I read several blogs yesterday whereby bloggers did not have good relationships with their mothers, they are just being honest. I was blessed with lovely parents who were nice people, but I know some people have meanness in them, and the relatives are left to cope. There are just some people in the world who don’t know or care or even feel the least bit guilty about how they treat others, including their own family! I hope you got out for a walk. Today was supposed to be a house catch-up day but the eavestroughs guy called and said he’s coming to do my mom’s house this afternoon….in the rain? He thinks it will stop…

Thank you again Joni. My great grandfather was about as ornery as my grandfather. I would hear my grandmother tell stories about him as did my mom from her memories growing up. My great grandparents lived on a farm in Ariss, near Guelph. When my grandparents took their yearly vacation each August, they went to the farm to help bring in the crops, especially the hay and even the kids helped with berry picking and canning. I would hear stories about him that left me shaking my head. I was close to my mother and grandmother and that was it. Did he work in the rain? I guess he could as long as it was not slippery up there and not too steep of a slope?

It had stopped raining by the time they came, but it was freezing cold. When I got over there, they were eating their lunch outside, sitting on the back of the truck, so I asked them if they wanted to come inside, or even inside the garage, but they said they were almost done, and were dressed warm enough. As there were 3 of them, they were done in less than an hour, so it should only be $100, and they did a good job. I asked if they wanted to come back on a warmer day, and they said, no as it was supposed to rain all week! They were up on the roof, but probably had good treads on their shoes/boots. Did you walk today?

I ended up walking just a little in the neighborhood. I have to go run the car anyway and it was garbage day. But it had been drizzling and stopped just as I was ready to go out. So got two miles in – it was too late to get to the Park as that is 20 minutes away from my house. They are probably used to walking around on the roof, but still …

Thank you Anne. I started out with a shorter post and it took on a life of its own as I added more and more insight into my mom’s past and more pictures of my mom and me. There are still a lot of photos that I’ve scanned in and weave a story around them down the road.

Thanks Andy – I strayed a little from my usual nature and walking, but sometimes it is nice to look back and those vintage pictures are great aren’t they, especially the “real” sepia ones. We went to Oklahoma from Oakville (Ontario) around 1964 as my father had a job interview and we went in that VW. We went in the Summer, and with no A/C as you probably know from your family’s VW. I believe some of our journey involved Route 66 – if I remember correctly, the two week vacation involved almost 4,000 miles (6,400 kilometers) … whew!

Aw, Linda – love the photos and the stories about your childhood and your mom. You’re right you do have her smile and all the other great attributes you featured. The photos you chose went exceptionally well with the words you shared. Very touching indeed! Thank you for sharing!

Thanks Shelley – I thought you might like this with all the old pictures. I started with a small post and it morphed into a novella … well, almost. Thanks for saying I have her smile … she did not have a lot to smile about, but when she smiled, it lit up her face. I’m late setting out as it is drizzly and foggy – no words for this weather. But we are warming up considerably (30 degrees … right now it is 42 degrees), so I will then go out and walk in the rain if not torrential.

Linda – So much to take in. I laughed and cried and laughed some more. Bless your mom and you too. I’m dealing with a father that has recently found a new family and left us behind, never in a million years did I think he would behave this way. So that part of your history, really speaks to my heart too. I loved seeing all the old photos, My mom gave me those Toni home perms all the time too, and I really didn’t like them or the way my hair looked afterward. I cut my own hair one time, and it looked a bit like your “after” photo. Boy did I get a spanking for that! Great tribute to your mom. xo kim

Kim – thanks for your nice comments. I tried to mingle the sad facts with the humor to keep the post from becoming too sad and sentimental. My mom had a rough life but remained stoic. I’m sorry to hear about your father and it was the same for me – a shock for his announcement and a bigger shock for us to discover that he had removed everything from the bank account and an annuity fund beforehand. Luckily the house was paid off years before. My mom was too young for social security and was told to go on Medicaid for her healthcare, but she went for a physical to qualify and was told she was fit to work. She was not fit to work, maybe before she had me and was younger, but had not worked in 28 years – she always had pain. She did not and could not drive. I love the old photos too and a few years ago I went through all the albums and scanned in every photo. They’ve been fun to use in blog posts.

Linda I really enjoyed reading about your mom and your childhood. I can’t begin to imagine what she went through all those years in the hospital! Through all of her trials and tribulations her greatest accomplishment was raising such a wonderful daughter! I am sure she is looking down at you and smiling!

Thanks Diane for the nice words – I am glad you liked this post. It started off to be relatively short, just our first/last photos and a few “Momisms” and then I decided to do the backstory on my mom. I wavered, but I am glad in the end I included her sad story.

I loved this post Linda! I also see that we are “wine from the same carafe” in terms of our slice of history . I had that same pale grey suit with the abbreviated jacket and the pleated skirt and loved it. It was a hand-me-down from my cousin Mary Lou who was and is 18 months older. She owned far nicer clothes and I was the beneficiary.
Your account of what your mother went through is stunning. What a tribute to tell her story here!

Thanks for the kind words Terry and I’m glad you enjoyed this tribute post to my mom. I really delved into Mom’s past for what started out to be a fairly short post. I decided to share her backstory. I remember your post about your mom and the cardigan she last wore – you had a photo of it. I liked the phrase we are “wine from the same carafe” … I’ve never heard that before and it is exactly right. I have two other followers our age and we often reminisce when we mention something from our respective childhood or teen years.
I remember this outfit well and I got it for Easter that year. It was a little big, so I think my mom was hoping I would not grow out of it too quickly.

I loved reading about you and your mom, Linda. You are both strong women! The photo of the 2 of you on the day your mom brought you home from the hospital is beautiful. She does look like she is holding onto you for dear life. She probably was!

It made me sad to read about your mom’s hard life – first at the hands of her dad, then at the hands of your dad. I am sure she meant it when she told you that you were the best thing that ever happened to her!

On a lighter note, I remember those Toni home perms too! My mom used to give them to me when I was a little girl. Ugh! Plus, she used to pour lemon juice on my head, then make me sit in the sun to lighten my hair! Oh, how we suffered for beauty!

Thanks so much for your kind words Laurie. I think I am stronger because of my mom. She endured so many hardships in her lifetime and they kept on piling on her, but she remained stoic. I detected a wistful look in her eyes. I was only 4 pounds, 11 ounces when I was born so I didn’t get out of the hospital for awhile. It is my favorite picture and has been framed and on the mantel for many years. As an only child I was lucky to get all the photo albums, and they are chock full of vintage photos of Mom and many of me as well.

Before the Toni home perms, there were pincurls, those horrid bobby pins and a big hairnet which made sleeping horrible. (In later years I would have two sets of headgear for my metal braces on my teeth and during that time used those rollers the size of orange juice cans at the same time – how did I ever sleep?)

My mom also put lemon juice on my hair and told me to outside. She’d wash all the stickiness off when I came inside. What price beauty as the expression goes!

I can remember pin curls too. My friends and I used to “do” each other’s hair. We used the big wire rollers, bobby pins and my big sister’s portable hair dryer. I haven’t thought about that in a long time!

I was a small baby too. My mom had been told that she could never have more children and I know she had several miscarriages before she had me, but I must have been stubborn even then, because I held on for 8 months.

I remember doing one another’s hair too and a friend of the family gave me a perm just before my senior year. She worked in a salon and I went to the salon, but she made it frizzy on one side so I had the orange-juice can rollers on one side, smaller rollers on the other. I remember those wire rollers with the pink picks too and the hair bonnet dryer that poufed up above your head and you looked like Marge Simpson! It is fun to think of our hair styles back in the day.

Lucky for your Mom that you held on for 8 months – you were more precious than ever by arriving safely after the miscarriages. My mom ran into neighbors from the apartment where they lived at the grocery story the weekend before she had me and they asked when she/my father were going to start a family – hard to believe I was that small and grew up to be 5′ 9″ tall.

Happy mothers day!
Your mother would be so proud of you, and I’m sure she is proud of you now as she looks out for you from wherever she is.
I don’t really have the words to tell you what I thought of this post (for it’ll just lessen it).
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

Thanks Eliza – that is nice of you to say. I put a lot of heart and soul into this post. It was originally going to be just a little tribute, but it morphed into something much bigger. I think my mom would like it – even though I dredged up talking about the C-section scar. For years, she’d mention it, despite all the scars from other operations. It became a joke like the chicken pox and measles in one year on her birthday and Mother’s Day.
((((((((((((((hugs back to you!!!))))))))))))))))

This is a precious post, linda – and I feel like I know you so much more. And your momma – wow – what a trooper to have endured the infection and accident nightmare – sometimes I think the injury lawyers of today tend to blow things out of proportion but the n they also “help” people so much and I am reminded of this when I read they had them sign that all was well and freed them of further obligation –
My favorite outfit is actually the one with the folded hands with gloves – I like the color and the style and it does have an older vibe – but classy – and then the red coat… so nice with hat.
The opening photo of your mom changed for me after I read the post. It was cool to feel this change. I first saw the pic – read your caption about her far away look- I liked her soft face and did wonder her thoughts –
Then after reading the post – that photo exuded a sense of pride – maybe because I felt like I knew her a bit from the momisms and from the history of her background – it you could feel the ultimate proud momma vibe –
What a great memoir post linda -;)

Yvette – thank you so much for your kind comments and I really did delve into Mom’s backstory and our shared heartache in this post. It was a very personal post for me. She was amazing and I know she was always in pain but only toward the very end did she dwell on it after she confined herself to bed four months before she passed away. She had a pensive look in the first picture – I have always loved this photo and had it framed and on the mantel while she was still alive. I always wondered what she was thinking – perhaps she was happy to have me home. I was just 4 pounds 11 ounces when born and had to stay at the hospital for a while after I was born.
I remember that outfit – it was for Easter, and a little large at the time – guess my folks were hoping I’d have no big growth spurt and I could wear it the following year as well. It was just for Sunday School and for “good”, not for school as I recall. You are right that the style is classy then and now. I think my mom decided what she wanted me to be and did her best to mold me into that person she envisioned. Thank you again for your thoughts.

Oh so it was an Easter dress – some of my favorite dress memories are from Easter – and then graduations -;)
And if you ever write a full memoir (not sure if that is in your plans) but posts like this will cut and paste pretty easily – but if not – you have a nice sharing with readers and have time stamped this family memory….

Yes it was for Easter – that much I do recall and the red coat with the white straw hat was on Easter Sunday as well.

I have written about graduation from college. I went to see the manager of the diner where I worked while in college as he was like a grandfather to me. Had my picture taken with him in my cap and gown and some other pictures that day as well. All special memories – thank goodness for cameras, otherwise all those images would be kept in our heads (and hearts too).

I never thought about writing a memoir, but thank you for suggesting it Yvette. I have not written anything except this blog which I’ve been doing now since 2013.

Well Linda / I think you will have a lot to pick from (at least from via blog posts what I can sense so far)
And the tiny thing about “not” having pictures is the memory can sometimes get lost (but then it does stay in the heart even if we are unaware – it becomes part of our essence)
And getting back to the memoir – they say everyone has their unique story to tell which can be rich and worth sharing – and from what I read here – there is some meaty stuff to share and so I hope you do it.

Thank you for saying that Yvette … that makes me feel good and you have inspired me to at least think about it, perhaps down the road, when I am retired and have more time to devote to such a worthwhile project – you gave me a little boost this morning. 🙂

We I am so glad to read that I offered a little boost – and I have to tell ya that I appreciated comment chatting this last few days – fun getting to know you a bit more (and I think I connected with you from ally’s blog a not sure – but glad to cross blog paths)
And you seem to already have a seasoned outlook to know the time it will take – so let the idea percolate – and maybe later this summer toy with what a starting outline would look like – or not ….

Yes, I am also pleased to meet and chat with you as well. I think it was on Ally’s blog or Pam Lazo’s blog? You did give me a boost. I enjoy writing and the last three or four years I decided to get interested in photography again and began toting the camera along. I had used stock photos for a while before that. Years ago I was interested in 35 mm photography and took some classes and I used to travel when I was younger, so I had a good opportunity to use the camera more. I will seriously give it some thought – someone had told me I should write a children’s book about Parker the Squirrel. I had liked that idea and jotted down a few ideas I had at the time but not given it any more thought than that … yes, it would be a big undertaking.

Well I don’t know Pam so ally it is….
😉
And Parker the squirrel would Make a good book –
Well keep chewing on it all and see what unfolds –
Oh and I remember 35mm – wow – my goal this year is to print out some of my favorite pics rather than have it all digital – maybe print my top 50?

I see Pam and Ally corresponding on their respective blog – thought you might be there too. That is a big undertaking Yvette, printing out 50 pictures. Better stock up on ink. 🙂 When we shot using film, we were more careful with our shots. I’ll take several shots of the same picture in case I moved while doing so. It is a whole new world with digital cameras. I liked the feel of the heavier 35mm camera and I liked the flip down case – I feel like I am handling this one with kid gloves as it is lightweight and not protected by the case like the other one and that makes me reluctant to tote it along so the compact digital camera is my go-to camera.

Big difference in cameras – wow – and just FYI – I think it is absolutely awesome when folks use their own images and not stock – although there are times stock images are a gift – big time – but I just love it when folks have their own pics – hmmm

It sure is a big difference … I would be in the poorhouse with all the shots I take now. 🙂 When I began this blog, I only did one long (very long) paragraph, a one-word headline and no pictures. I started using one picture and it was with my old camera that had just a 4X zoom lens. I look back at the first and second year and you have to really squint to see the subject. It was my neighbor that encouraged me to start a blogand she suggested that I should get a camera with more zoom and ALWAYS carry it and even if the pictures aren’t perfect, use them to match your narrative. That was good advice!

Truly precious memories and pictures. You honored her in such a lovely way here. I so loved reading these anecdotes and feel like I know your mom a little after reading this! Sending you hugs because I know it probably is a bittersweet day for you. Thank you for sharing, Linda ❤

Thank you for the words and the hugs Mackenzie … I really divulged a lot of info here that I never wrote about before, but I wanted to share my mom’s backstory … it was rough for her but she is in a better place now. The anecdotes are funny to read when listed like that one after the other – so many more, but those came to mind as I likely heard them the most.

Miss Linda……………………….I thoroughly enjoyed your Mother’s Day Blog…………………………………Your mom was a beautiful looking lady……………………..and you at age 2, I think with that little hair sticking up on your head is so precious looking……………………………..I love that one the best of you………………………………And you, just summed up your whole life and why you reason and think things through………………………because of your Mother’s “Momisms”!

I’m glad you liked it Ann Marie – you probably feel like you know my mom from when we have been talking. It was a joke with my mom with that little curly-Q on the top of my head like a Dairy Queen ice cream cone curl. I didn’t have much hair the entire first year. My mom had a lot of Momisms – those were the ones that stuck out in my head the most and were the funniest as well. 🙂

Thank you for saying Wayne and the nice words as well. This post started out fairly small and I was just going to have the first and last picture of us and a few of my mom’s favorite sayings. I decided to do a little backstory, add more and more pictures and it turned out to be a tribute to the person who gave me life and made me what I am today.

Just getting around to reading some earlier blogs and I’m glad I saw this one! What great pictures. You and I are about the same age but we sure didn’t dress similarly when we were young! I have a few pictures of me in dresses, but I was very much a tomboy (probably because I worshiped my two older brothers) so I wore mostly pants and shorts. What an interesting story about your mother’s life… she really went through a lot… and came out smiling!

Glad this post stuck out and you saw it Janis and glad you liked the pictures too. My mom made me look somewhat prim and proper but I didn’t have any siblings, so I never was lucky enough to hang out with older brothers. I always wished I had siblings – especially since I had to forge new paths and could never say “well _____ got to do it first!” Yes my mom had an interesting life, full of health issues and hardships but she did come out smiling in the end.

Thank you Bernice – my mom was a very strong woman and I miss her. I always thought it was unfair that she had so many medical problems as a result of one moment in time and those medical issues were enough crosses for one person to bear, let alone the other things that happened. I have a lot of pictures from the family albums so a few years ago I scanned them all in and now like to use them in my blog from time to time – I especially like the vintage photos, and they are in very good shape considering how old they are. I have a picture of my grandparents holding my mom as a baby and she would have turned 93 years old this year.

Yes, and from an early page my mom always warned me “never go between parked cars – you will end up like me!” I was lucky that I was an only child so got all the albums and my parents took a lot of photos over the years.

I really enjoyed reading this Linda, your mom was and extraordinary woman. She endured so much with strength and grace. I loved seeing all the pictures and hearing about your childhood. I never wore the frilly clothes growing up but I did end up getting one of those awful perms.

Thanks Ruth – I am glad you enjoyed reading this post. Yes, my mom was extraordinary and dealt with much adversity in her lifetime. At least she is not in pain now. I like the vintage pictures too and as an only child I got all the albums so scanned in all the pictures a few years ago. I need to tweak them though as sometimes there were four of five images on a page! I hated those awful perms too (and pincurls).

Linda
A truly touching tribute to a lady who had borne so much. You didn’t mention love of animals or birds or nature in your remembrances but I know you got yours from her. I didn’t know there was so much of back story to this strong woman and the loving relationship you had with your mum. You need to put posts up for each of those childhood pictures for they are all pieces of the time you grew up in and your memory is great. You are a beautiful lady- inside and out-
I felt all teary when I read this post.
Susie

Thank you Susie – I thought you would like it. It was a bittersweet post that I wanted to do to show a little of what made my mom a strong woman, all her trials and tribulations. I was originally going to just show our first and last photo and talk about some of her “Momisms” and it kind of morphed into much more by the time I was done with it and included all the backstory and the vintage photos and my photos. I should have said more about her love for nature – I did include Joey’s picture (our parakeet) but he was a pet. I should have said how she sewed popcorn, cranberries, and peanuts onto a string and we draped them over the bushes for the birds to eat. And she made peanut butter sandwiches for the squirrels (who promptly licked the peanut butter off and threw the bread into the garden). Thank you for your nice comments Susie and I was teary eyed writing it.

I really don’t know where to begin….this post though long I didn’t want it to end. It just took me to a different time as I read evoking varied emotions. The pictures, your words and emotions in those pictures are endearing.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful story of your Life with us. I can only imagine what a strong and courageous personality your Mother must be. More strength to you.
Life could be so harsh and until one experiences stark realities, it’s difficult to fathom. I’m so glad to see that you and your Mum shared such great bond. Even for me…my Mother is like my closest friend and supporter too. After getting married I stay with my hubby but I miss my mom n dad n brother daily.
Hope to stay connected and read more about your Life’s experiences……
Take care my friend.

I am glad you enjoyed this moving tribute to my mom – I was writing it at times smiling about some funny occurrences through the years, but also had tears streaming down my face at other times. Like you said in your blog title and the song says “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – if everything in life was easy, you would take things for granted and accept no challenges. We don’t always have to have challenges and hardships, but they do make us stronger. My mom was also my best friend and since I have no other family, I do miss her very much. Take care and enjoy your day.

What a wonderful post. I loved seeing all the photos. Your Mother went through so much. I love all the things she said that young ladies should do. Times sure have changed. I was a tom boy, so I did not ware dresses except like yours, to church and Easter. The same puffy dresses. My sister and I always had the same haircut also.

Thanks Sandra – that was one of my favorite posts and I had never mentioned my father to that point, though I have often mentioned my mom in prior posts. In fact I had done a post maybe a week before about housework, comparing it to ducks taking a bath. My mom was a good housekeeper and wanted things perfect – I am not like that now (and not then either) and had a hard time convincing her to “bend” a little. I made my protests, but in the long run I did what she liked/wanted as I thought she had had enough hassles in her life, so I was not going to give her more grief. They say you become strong by going through many troubles, and she sure had her share – you are absolutely right. She had a lot of quips and sayings – I remember them all. I miss her very much. I have never had siblings and my father never did any sports that I might have become a tomboy or wanted to learn things from him. On the other hand, my mom never taught me how to bake or cook – she always did it herself. Yes, I was dressed like a “girly-girl” with all the pouffy dresses and hats and I told my mom in later years while looking at the pictures that I looked way too old for my age! She whacked off my ponytail after I fussed too much … my mom was a no-nonsense person!

It was completely different times for our parents. Cleaning houses was a big thing I think. My Mother did that also. Her biggest thing was cleaning all the windows. It was a huge farm house. And spring cleaning meant cleaning everything. Inside and out, I did not like spring cleaning. I always chose shoveling horse poop in the barn instead of house cleaning. 🙂

Good Morning, I did not make a post for today, our basement flooded again. Been busy cleaning that up. Looks like it will be nice out today, and then the forecast says rain all weekend again. So I am heading down to the river to see if there are any pelicans this morning. Have a good day Linda.

I won’t “like” the flooding Sandra part, but I will “like” the idea of seeing pelicans. I hate hearing about flooding issues – we had that happen once and lost many items. The City fixed the sewer and infrastructure on our street in 1990 but other parts of Lincoln Park have many issues and the Facebook site I follow for the City (crime and general info), people showed damage from last weekend.
We had 1 1/2 inches of rain in a very short time, but had rain Thursday and Friday too so it overwhelmed the system. Even when a hot water tank burst a few years ago, it was not as bad as the basement backing up. Good luck with that Sandra. I am running late, trying to catch up last night and about 1/2 day from doing that. I took pictures of my walking shoes yesterday for National Walking Day … I put them in the cellarway to show they look worn … I thought it would make a good picture and use it for Wordless Wednesday … the coloring was way off. The cellarway linoleum is a red brick, cast a strange pink glow on the shoes and the background was really strange so I had to look for a prior image and I added a picture of Parker at my shoes. I am running late now. Hope you don’t have too much mess, but see/photograph lots of pelicans!