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We have a situation where a older couple didn't want to get married because of losing a benefit from a previous spouse. They did live together and wanted to join our church. They left and went to another church and told them they were brother and sister. Well a year later they are back and said they got married. Well, someone stated the fact that they got someone to marry them but not turn it in to the state. Ok pastors, would you have a problem with them joining your church?

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Well-Known Member

Extraneous as this question may be, one proposition for ending the 'homosexual marriage' debate, as well as unrecognized polygymous arrangements, or differing age requirements by state, is to simply cancel the idea of marriage as a legal institution altogether, and see from a legal standpoint nothing but an implied contract when 2 (or more) people live together as spouses. If that were to ever happen, would y'all who say a couple must be legally married to be regarded as married in the church, still say that? (in which case no one would be married), or would you still officiate and attend weddings even if they are not legally recognized as marriage?

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I agree w/ SFIC, as long as there is a legal means to obtain a marriage agreement then they should do so. One question that aligns with Alcott's is, if there are no legal means then would a couple still be living in sin? Just a thought.

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New Member

I'm troubled that this couple is relying on benefits from a previous marrige and as such don't legally follow through with a licensed marriage...in my book that is lying and stealing. Even if they were married by a pastor or whomever for practical purposes but not for legal purpose it is still a lie and God can't bless a marriage with this as a acceptable alternative.

Though, allowing them into Church as members would be fine with me but they would not be allowed to serve in any capacity. I would add that any "sin in the camp" can cause trouble especially if other members know of it and no action is taken to discipline them for it.

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New Member

Knowing what you have said about them in the past and what they have tried to do in other churches then I would want to see the marriage license. I would also counsel them greatly and make sure that they know that if it ever comes out that they lied to the church, discipline would follow from the body. Then I would give myself a week to pray over the situation before consulting with my spiritual counsel in the church.

While it is the state that makes a marriage legal, it is God that instituted marriage. As far as I am concerned, if the legal definition of marriage changes then that does not change what the Bible says and what the church body may or may not recognize. Marriage will always exist in the eyes of God and thus the church should always recognize marriage. Therefore, a couple may still live in sin no matter what the state says.

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New Member

If they have been legally married and can produce a license, and they are willing to make a public confession for the sins of lying and living together while not being married, then I would have no problem with them joining.

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New Member

I would be extremely cautious. From the information provided, they are using the system in a deceptive manner.

The only benefit I can think of from a previous spouse would be alimony. I have a hard time believing someone would think that its okay to lie and say they were brother and sister, then secretly marry, but tell the minister not to send the license in. I can't imagine a minister doing that anyway, but . . .

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