WORDS OF WISDOM
Murphy Was an Optimist........
No good deed goes unpunished.
Leakproof seals - will.
Self-starters - will not.
Interchangeable parts - won't.
There is always one more bug.
If you're feeling good, don't worry,
you'll get over it.
Friends come and go, but enemies
accumulate.
If you try to please everybody,
nobody will like it.
A short cut is the longest distance
between two points.
The chance of a piece of bread
falling with the buttered side down
is directly proportional to the cost
of the carpet.
No one's life, liberty, or property
are safe while the legislature is in
session.
Anything you try to fix will take
longer and cost more than you
thought.
A $300.00 picture tube will protect
a 10-cent fuse by blowing first.
Any tool dropped while repairing a
car will roll underneath to the exact
center.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated
for the repairman, it will work
perfectly.
Everyone has a scheme for getting
rich that will not work.
When in doubt, mumble. When in
trouble, delegate.
It is morally wrong to allow suckers
to keep their money.
Nature always sides with the hidden
flaw.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes
to the bone.
In case of doubt, make it sound
convincing.
If everything seems to be going well,
you obviously don't know what the
heck is going on.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
You will always find something in the
last place you look.
No matter how long or hard you shop
for an item, after you've bought it,
it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a loan, you must
first prove you don't need it.
If you fool around with a thing for
very long, you will screw it up.
If if jams - force it. If it breaks,
it needed replacing anyway.
The repairman will never have seen a
model quite like yours before.
A pipe gives a wise man time to think
and a fool something to stick in his
mouth.
Everyody should believe in something-
I believe I'll have another drink!
Build a system that even a fool can
use, and only a fool will use it.
You will remember that you forgot to
take out the trash when the garbage
truck is two doors away.
There's never time to do it right
but there's always time to do it
over.
Anything good in life is either
illegal, immoral or fattening.
A bird in hand is safer than one
overhead.
Everything East of the San Andreas
Fault will eventually plunge into
the Atlantic Ocean.
The light at the end of the tunnel is
the headlamp of an oncoming train.
Never sleep wth anyone crazier than
yourself.
To know yourself is the ultimate form
of aggression. (Freudian Psychology)
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
If more than one person is
responsible for a miscalculation, no
one will be at fault.
Never argue with a fool, people might
not know the difference.
Anything that can go wrong, will go
wrong.
You can never tell which way the
train went by looking at the track.
Whenever a system becomes completely
defined, some damn fool discovers
something which either abolishes the
system or expands it beyond
recognition.
If builders built buildings the way
programmers wrote programs, then the
first woodpecker that came along
would destroy civilization.
The attention span of a computer is
only as long as its electrical cord.
Tell a man there are 300 billion
stars in the universe and he'll
believe you. Tell him a bench has
wet paint on it, and he'll have to
touch it to be sure.
All's well that ends.
The first myth of management is that
it exists.
New systems generate new problems.
We don't know one millionth of one
percent about anything.
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
Nothing motivates a man more than to
see his boss putting in an honest
day's work.
the primary function of the design
engineer is to make things difficult
for the fabricator and impossible for
the serviceman.
Ater all is said and done, a heck of
a lot more is said than done.
A complex system that works is
invariably found to have evolved from
a simple system that works.
Computers are unreliable, but humans
are even more unreliable. Any system
hich depends on human reliability is
unreliable.
Under the most rigorously controlled
conditions of pressure, temperature,
volume, humidity, and other variables
the organism will do as it damn well
pleases.
Fill what's empty. Empty what's full.
And scratch where it itches.
The only perfect science is
hind-sight.
If it's not in the computer, it
doesn't exist.
When all else fails,
read the instructions.
Everything that goes up
must come down.
Any simple theory will be worded in
the most complicated way.
The degree of technical competence is
inversely proportional to the level
of management.
Logic is a systematic method of
coming to the wrong conclusion with
confidence.
Technology is dominated by those who
manage what they do not understand.
The opulence of the front office
decor varies inversely with the
fundamental solvency of the firm.
An expert is one who knows more and
more about less and less until he
knows absolutely everything about
nothing.
All great discoveries are made by
mistake.
Nothing ever gets built on schedule.
A meeting is an event at which the
minutes are kept and the hours are
lost.
A failure will not appear till a unit
has passed final inspection.
To err is human, but to really foul
things up requires a computer.
Any given program, when running, is
obsolete.
A computer makes as many mistakes in
two seconds as 20 men working 20
years make.
To spot the expert, pick the one who
predicts the job will take the
longest and cost the most.
Any circuit design must contain at
least one part which is obsolete,
two parts which are unobtainable and
three Parts which are still under
development.
If mathematically you end up with the
incorrect answer, try multiplying by
the page number.
If you can't understand it, it is
intuitively obvious.
All things are possible except skiing
through a revolving door.
Work smarder and not harder and be
careful of yor speling.
If an experiment works, something has
gone wrong.
If there is a possibility of several
things going wrong, the one that will
cause the most damage will be the one
to go wrong.