Getting an MSdiagnosis is, withouta doubt, a life-changing event.And for some, itis followed by theheartbreak of havingto tell the children.

“How and when should I tellthem?”“How much detail should Iprovide?”“How will they react?”All of these questions arecertainly at the forefront of anyparent’s mind. But many otherparents have crossed this bridgebefore you. Just ask some of theparticipants on momswithms.org.

What started in July 2009 as
an attempt to meet a few other
moms with MS has blossomed
into a community of more than
500 people swapping notes,
providing support, and exchanging resources and information.
Most of the participants were
diagnosed between the ages of
20–40 and many have a lot to
say about how they had “that”
conversation with their kids.

Keep it simple, they
say—and age
appropriate

For Emily, a
Chicago mother
who was diagnosed
when her children
were nine, five
and three, the best
approach has been:
“Answer what’s asked
and don’t elaborate.

I could always tell
when my son’s curiosity was satisfied. I’d give
him a short answer to an
MS question and he’d go
off and play.” Emily’s nine-year-old daughter, on the other hand,
usually wanted more, following
up one question with another
and then another.

Angela, a mother in northernCalifornia, waited to talk to herdaughter about MS until herdaughter was four. “At that age,understanding that somethingwas wrong was difficult becauseoutwardly people would have noidea I have MS. So I’d explainto her what happens inside mybody using a telephone cord as acomparison.”An early teen might be ableto grasp MS, while a six-year-old may not. But sometimescircumstance requires a broader

NICK BErtozzI

discussion of the disease and
its impact, even with younger
children. This is common when
children can see, and are then
curious about, canes, wheelchairs and other aids that may
come into the home.

“Kids can adapt if they areallowed to be a part of the fam-ily’s solution, and taught not bescared of mommy being sick,”said Michelle, a South Carolinamom who was diagnosed whenher daughter was four. “MShas made me a better momand made my daughter morecompassionate.”Deborah Miller, PhD, direc-tor of Comprehensive Care at