There are three primary languages used in contemporary American politics.

The first – and sadly least spoken – is plain English, which is the language spoken by those of us that actually believe the original wording of the Constitution means exactly what it says. Unfortunately, without cultural revival coming soon this common sense form of expression could become a dead language.

The second – and sadly most spoken – is political correctness. This Orwellian double-speak introduces self-contradictory terms like “marriage equality” (when any guy that’s been married for more than six months can tell you no such thing exists) and “reproductive freedom” (which doesn’t make sense since you’re killing your reproduction anyway, so why would you want the freedom to reproduce in the first place).

This language takes commonly used words and phrases and removes all common sense from them, thus changing their long-standing and previously acknowledged meaning. For example, “tolerance” used to mean I put up with you even if I disagree with you because it’s a free country. Nowadays under political correctness, “tolerance” means you lose your freedom if you don’t validate and participate in everything I do that you don’t approve of.

The third is a technocratic dialect used only by the Republicrat ruling class, and is meant to throw grassroots patriots off the scent before they realize the Republicans they’re supporting are doing practically nothing they were sent there to do. It attempts to convince conservatives that their elected representatives believe in the same plain English they do. However, the group communicating the message means something totally different than those receiving it think/hope they do, so the mind-numbing clichés intentionally gets lost in translation. Republicrat lingo is sometimes also referred to as “gibberish,” “jargon,” or the crass description for the byproduct of a bull’s bowel movement.

I have spent years observing Republicrats in their natural habitat in an earnest attempt to make sense of this foul beast wreaking havoc on humanity—and the U.S. Constitution. After much careful study, I believe I finally discovered the Republicrat Rosetta Stone, and have cracked their confusing code of complete crap. What I found is there are 10 phrases used most often by Republicrats. If we can decipher the true meaning of these 10 phrases, unlocking the rest of their sinister secrets instantly becomes much easier.

10. “Something must be done.” = Better to violate our oath of office and betray our base now rather than risk the wrath of the liberal media later.

Most of the worst ideas in human history began with cries that “something must be done.” But when Republicrats utter that phrase, that is a tell they’re about to do exactly what the progressive/Marxist/Leftists want to do, they just need to conjure up a crisis in order to justify it.

This is a whiny lament frequently utilized by those who either hated Ronald Reagan back in the day, or put up with him because he was a winner. Even before he left office, many of these same people systematically went about undoing his legacy in order to maintain their corporatist gravy train. Now that Reagan isn’t around to speak for himself, and given the fact conservatives lack leaders with his considerable skills, these political hacks use this line every time conservatives demand Republicans act like Republicans and not Democrats.

The Republicrat’s primary motivation is to avoid the searing pain of being called nasty names by the liberal media, or not being described as “reasonable” by their Democrat colleagues. So while they use all of our attack words on camera or in press releases, that’s really just a signal to the American Left they’re ready to negotiate the terms of surrender once they’ve patronized their base with the talking points that gives them the warm fuzzy.

7. “We need to focus on jobs.” = Thank goodness the economy sucks so we have an excuse for standing for nothing.

Please note, this self-explanatory Republicrat mantra is only used when Democrats are in power in any branch of government, and does not apply when the Republicans are. When Republicans are in power, substitute any reference to socialism or Jimmy Carter as the appropriate scare tactic for that situation.

6. “Team player.” = Somebody who cares more about being liked, getting their ego stroked, advancing their own ambitions, and/or getting a seat at our very wobbly table more than taking a stand.

The prime directive of the Republicrat Machine is to begat more Republicrats in order to perpetuate their taxpayer-funded fraud. If someone isn’t a team player, it’s because that person actually got into politics to govern on a set of conservative principles and they stubbornly insist on sticking to those principles. Therefore, their very existence threatens to expose the entire Republicrat charade. The Republicrats will typically punish such would-be statesmen by excommunicating said non-team player from all Republicrat functions, and cutting off his access to the campaign purse strings. Better for one principled patriot to die than for the entire scam to perish.

Despite all the strategic talk of winning elections, the real reason Republicrats seek to bring in those who don’t really believe in small government and Judeo-Christian morality is to dilute the influence within the party of those that do.

4. “Democrats weren’t going to budge.” = We either don’t care about your moral convictions or don’t share them. Either way, thank the God we constantly patronize with our contrived talking points we’ve still got the Democrats around to shift the blame to when we just really want to go home, or living up to our campaign promises to shrink government and defund Planned Parenthood is just too dang hard.

There are only two possible reasons why the two shortest books ever written are “French War Heroes” and “Republicans Who Actually Have a Spine.” One, Republicrats all attended the Neville Chamberlain School of Realpolitik. Two, they want the kind of government the Democrats want, but want to be able to blame it on the Democrats when we get it. We’ll let Occam’s razor determine which one it is.

3. “Incrementalism.” = Giving the Democrats 80% of what they want and then bragging half a loaf is better than none.

Republicrats claim victory by going over the pagan progressive cliff the American Left has put us on a collision course with a little slower than the Democrats would prefer. Republicrats put cultural oblivion on cruise control, while the Democrats put the pedal to the medal. That’s Republicrat incrementalism – a slower, more tortuous death.

See TARP and most of the George W. Bush presidency for recent examples.

1. “Coalesce.” = Unite now to lose to Democrats even sooner.

Republicrats usually call for coalescing around their candidates within minutes of his official campaign announcement, long before a single primary vote is cast. In Republicrat world, primaries are bad because they expose their cockroaches to sunlight, thus making it tougher for the party to come together later on in the general once grassroots patriots get a good and sickening glimpse at the pile of dung they’ll have to plug their noses to vote for. For example, should a conservative win a presidential primary or caucus, Republicrats will respond by escalating their frantic calls to “coalesce” lest we risk wasting resources when the Democrats are obviously so much worse. In fact, Republicrats are already calling for the party to coalesce in 2016 anticipating a potential Romney loss in 2012. If it was up to the Republicrats, they would just run a candidate named “coalesce.”