Cobourg school hosts anti-bullying speaker

Internet a dangerous place for unsupervised kids

Bullying talk Andrew McLean

Submitted photo

COBOURG -- Andrew McLean of iEngage, a bullying prevention program, offered parents and teachers tips on how to keep kids safe online during a presentation at Cobourg's St. Joseph Elementary School on Nov. 8.
November 13, 2012

COBOURG -- The social media pool is no place for kids to navigate alone, says a motivational speaker for a bullying prevention program.

On Nov. 8, a group of parents and teachers gathered at St. Joseph Catholic Elementary School for a presentation by Anthony McLean of iEngage, a program that empowers students and staff to create a safe, positive and inclusive climate in schools. The free presentation was sponsored by the school council in part with the Ministry of Education 'Parents Reaching Out' grant program. Mr. McLean has performed on stage at the Stratford Festival, hosted a CBC television series for children and has delivered his 'take a stand against bullying' message to students from Toronto to Australia.

Given the recent suicide of British Columbia teenager Amanda Todd, a result of cruel and relentless cyber-bullying, Mr. McLean told the gallery this sort of thing "is not an isolated act."

According to a 2008 University of Toronto study, 29 per cent of kids in Grade 7 and 8 had been a cyber-bullying victim (one in five over the previous three-month period) and one in three respondents said they had bullied others online, he noted. And four years down the road, the problem is even more prevalent, he said.

"Amanda Todd made a bad decision. She sent a private picture that was then shared with the world, but she's not the only one. It happens all the time," said Mr. McLean. "But don't vilify the Internet, it's here to stay. As parents, we must get into the online world with them... it's no place to send them in alone."

Privacy settings on Facebook accounts (so only friends they know can access the page) are key, he said. And parents must have their child's Facebook password and set time limits for online chatter with friends.

"What good can come from a Grade 7 girl with a cellphone webcam in her room at 11:30 at night?" he said. "I don't know what good, but I can tell you there's plenty of bad."

Mr. McLean said parents need to be brokers of their children's freedom to keep them safe.

"Online can be a wonderful place or like the island on 'Lord of the Flies' with only kids, where chaos, anarchy and death ensued," said Mr. McLean. "Parents need a presence on the island."

Keeping the lines of communication open is key, he said. It's essential, from a very young age, to talk to your kids and let them know it's safe to open up, he noted.

"Stress you won't get mad, regardless of what they tell you," said Mr. McLean. "Many kids are scared to open up to their parents because they're afraid their parents will freak out or take away all their technology."

Finally, he told parents to hold onto their kids. "Learn to walk the balance to keep your children safe, to earn and keep their trust and hold onto their hearts.

"Again, communication is the key," said the motivational speaker. "You've got to be there for them and with them."