I'm so done with this manuscript. The only reason I'm looking for a critical eye at this point is that I've had about 6 rejections of partials and fulls, and want to make sure it's really as tight as the few friends/coworkers/colleagues I had read it before said it is. 78,000 words... can start with the 1st 50pp and take it from there.

What I Need: An advanced, god-like writer who can critique structure in a constructive honest way.

What I Can Offer: I'm brutally honest (but in a nice, constructive way!) and can help you at an advanced level. If you're seeking to talk pacing, structure, tone, voice, etc. or just get at the meat and bones of the thing to address underlying issues and translate that into workable solutions, I can help.

Here's the gist:
Angelika Brown's parents want her to give up her aspirations of being a singer. But for this teen immortal, just the notion of a music-less existence causes her to emit a destructive, stone-shattering scream. And a dark vision reveals what could happen if she doesn't sing ľa malevolent Angelika prowling a smoking deathscape full of bodies. All dead as meat. All victims of her despair-turned-killing rage.

Following her dream of pop stardom entails more than mastering her epic voice, defying her parents and endangering her best friends. Unless Angelika quickly learns how to channel and use her singing power for good, her voice will decimate everyone, and everything, within earshot.

chris13

03-12-2011, 01:43 AM

Hi Oshun,

I'd be willing to exchange our first 50 and go from there. My WIP is YA urban fantasy, and I'm also a professional nonfiction writer who is on the fiction learning curve. I believe I can provide useful feedback, but certainly am not a goddess. ;-)

Oh, and I did like your query.

Let me know...
Chris

oshun55

03-22-2011, 06:50 AM

Thanks Chris. PMing...

Sass2379

03-24-2011, 04:23 AM

I could exchange work with you if you want. My WIP is YA dystopian sci fi. I am not a professional fiction writer, but I am an appellate attorney who writes legal briefs and court filings daily.