Keeping Mike's memory alive

Former Times-News reporter Vonda Hampton keeps a photo of her late friend and former colleague Mike Wilder on her desk in Virgnia.

By Vonda Hampton

Published: Thursday, July 18, 2013 at 04:01 PM.

It has taken me three months to the day to finally sit down and write this. I never wanted to write it — and still don’t — because doing so will mean acceptance. And I am not quite there yet.

My heart is still very heavy at the loss of one of my most favorite people of more than two decades, longtime Burlington Times-News reporter Mike Wilder, who succumbed to cancer on April 14. I first met Mike fresh out of journalism school as a reporter for the Mebane Enterprise, with assignments that included the Alamance County school systems. Mike worked at a different paper, The Alamance News, covering the same beat. I later served as the education and health reporter at the Times-News; ironic given that Mike covered education there at the time of his death. I used to rib him often about “taking over my old job” and we’d exchange a number of private, inside jokes from our newspapering days together, which included uttering key phrases often quoted by folks about town. It became a pattern — I’d start with one phrase, he’d answer with another, I’d respond and so on. It saddens me so much that we’ll never exchange those phrases again in my lifetime.

Though competitors, we became fast friends while covering long board of education meetings and other events for our respective employers. I remember with clarity many evenings when the board would go into executive session for hours, leaving only the reporters outside to wait on their return. Typically, that was just Mike and me. We’d tell stories from our childhood, talk about politics and current events and wonder what was going on in the executive session. More often than not, the board would return only to announce no orders of new business except to adjourn for the night. By that time we’d be pretty hungry, and needing some nourishment before returning to file stories, we’d usually continue the conversation over a meal at the old Perkins restaurant.

But while we were friends, we were also fiercely competitive when it came to our news stories. Any time Mike Wilder appeared on the scene with his pad and pen, I knew I needed to be on my game. When we questioned officials or bystanders together, Mike always asked a question I’d not thought to ask myself. His reporting and writing were simply stellar, and Alamance County residents were lucky to benefit from it.

After I moved on from newspapering to attend graduate school, I lost touch with Mike for a few years, but the reporter in him soon searched me out and we reconnected. I was so glad he did. I’d missed my friend, and we once again enjoyed sharing our lives and reminiscing about our early days as reporters. To say I was in shock upon hearing of his diagnosis earlier this year is an understatement. It was personally devastating to me. Mike and I were about the same age, and he had been nicer to me than almost anyone I’d ever known.

I hurt for him and the fact he wasn’t well, but wanted to find a way to keep his spirits bright. I went to the store and bought one of each get well card they had in stock — a multiple month supply. Some were funny and some were serious. I added a weekly reminder to my calendar and started sending them to Mike every Monday morning like clockwork, in care of the Times-News. In my desk at work right now is a large stack of stamped, unmailed cards that I simply cannot bear to throw away. But on top of the desk, close enough to touch, is my favorite photo of Mike — looking left, beautiful blue eyes shining — framed as a reminder to laugh as hard as he did, to love my family and my job, to do good for others and to always, always, live and appreciate life today like there is no tomorrow. I won’t let him down.

It has taken me three months to the day to finally sit down and write this. I never wanted to write it — and still don’t — because doing so will mean acceptance. And I am not quite there yet.

My heart is still very heavy at the loss of one of my most favorite people of more than two decades, longtime Burlington Times-News reporter Mike Wilder, who succumbed to cancer on April 14. I first met Mike fresh out of journalism school as a reporter for the Mebane Enterprise, with assignments that included the Alamance County school systems. Mike worked at a different paper, The Alamance News, covering the same beat. I later served as the education and health reporter at the Times-News; ironic given that Mike covered education there at the time of his death. I used to rib him often about “taking over my old job” and we’d exchange a number of private, inside jokes from our newspapering days together, which included uttering key phrases often quoted by folks about town. It became a pattern — I’d start with one phrase, he’d answer with another, I’d respond and so on. It saddens me so much that we’ll never exchange those phrases again in my lifetime.

Though competitors, we became fast friends while covering long board of education meetings and other events for our respective employers. I remember with clarity many evenings when the board would go into executive session for hours, leaving only the reporters outside to wait on their return. Typically, that was just Mike and me. We’d tell stories from our childhood, talk about politics and current events and wonder what was going on in the executive session. More often than not, the board would return only to announce no orders of new business except to adjourn for the night. By that time we’d be pretty hungry, and needing some nourishment before returning to file stories, we’d usually continue the conversation over a meal at the old Perkins restaurant.

But while we were friends, we were also fiercely competitive when it came to our news stories. Any time Mike Wilder appeared on the scene with his pad and pen, I knew I needed to be on my game. When we questioned officials or bystanders together, Mike always asked a question I’d not thought to ask myself. His reporting and writing were simply stellar, and Alamance County residents were lucky to benefit from it.

After I moved on from newspapering to attend graduate school, I lost touch with Mike for a few years, but the reporter in him soon searched me out and we reconnected. I was so glad he did. I’d missed my friend, and we once again enjoyed sharing our lives and reminiscing about our early days as reporters. To say I was in shock upon hearing of his diagnosis earlier this year is an understatement. It was personally devastating to me. Mike and I were about the same age, and he had been nicer to me than almost anyone I’d ever known.

I hurt for him and the fact he wasn’t well, but wanted to find a way to keep his spirits bright. I went to the store and bought one of each get well card they had in stock — a multiple month supply. Some were funny and some were serious. I added a weekly reminder to my calendar and started sending them to Mike every Monday morning like clockwork, in care of the Times-News. In my desk at work right now is a large stack of stamped, unmailed cards that I simply cannot bear to throw away. But on top of the desk, close enough to touch, is my favorite photo of Mike — looking left, beautiful blue eyes shining — framed as a reminder to laugh as hard as he did, to love my family and my job, to do good for others and to always, always, live and appreciate life today like there is no tomorrow. I won’t let him down.

Vonda Hampton is a former Times-News reporter who now lives in Herndon, Va.