A woman in Kansas claimed she crossed a watermelon with a cherry tomato plant in her backyard garden to create a “mystery fruit” and the local news was on it—and baffled. Don’t worry guys, we’re here to help.

Instagrammers with weiner on the brain will have to look elsewhere: Instagram announced yesterday it’s adding emoji hashtags, but you can’t search for photos hashtagged with the eggplant, a vegetable considered more penile than produce these days.

Eggplant has always had a dodgy reputation, and some Cornell researchers working with India's Sathguru Management Consultants have just made the plump purple fruit even weirder. They've rigged the eggplant genome to express a "natural insecticide" that will drive away pesky fruit and shoot borers, bugs which routinely…