Soooooooo, this is my 30's. Pretty typical really. Husband, three kids, a dog, kids begging for another pet, full-time job. But typical doesn't mean boring! Every day is something new. Some of it wonderful and fun. Some of it makes me want to pull my hair out. Either way this is my 30's and I'm loving it!

the boys

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Two big events today. One certainly way more important than the other. The 10th anniversary of 9/11 and Opening Day of the regular season for the Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium. We knew there was a big ceremony planned before the game started to commemorate the anniversary of that horrible day ten years ago. All of the fans had been asked to get in their seats by 11:40 am for the pre-game ceremonies that would honor the fireman, police officers, port authority officers and all other lives lost.

Jeremy has been asked to participate in the ceremony on the field. Numerous firefighters from around the KC metro area were gathered together to present a HUGE flag on the field before the game. Jeremy decided to turn down that opportunity, but one of his co-workers was on the field today. When all of the firemen came out on the field around 11:30 everyone in the stadium stood and applauded. Shouts of USA, USA!!! were heard all over the stadium. Very, very moving.

At about 11:50 the pre-game events were underway. We watched as the firefighters unraveled the flag that covered the entire field. Buffalo Bills players and firefighters held it on one side. KC Chiefs and other firefighters held it on the other sideline. It gave me the chills!! Jeremy took a few pictures on his phone including the one attached.

Just as we were preparing to listen to the playing of Taps and then the National Anthem, the man sitting in front of us noticed that the older gentleman two rows in front of us was not standing and joining in the celebrations and cheers. Upon closer look, it seemed that he wasn't breathing. I immediately told Jeremy who jumped into action. In a flash he was down the two rows and assessing the man for signs of life. He was able to determine that he was still breathing but was unconscious. Jeremy yelled for someone to call for EMS just as the man's wife came down the aisle.

He asked a few people close by to help him lift the guy and carry him about 8 rows to the concourse to further assist him. The first professional staff to show up on scene were firefighters but not paramedics so Jeremy continued to be the main paramedic in charge of the scene until other EMS staff arrived. He stayed with the family to take and report pertinent information to the medics that would then transport him to the hospital. He also calmed the wife enough to convince her to drive to the hospital so that her car wouldn't be left in the stadium and later towed.

All of this occurred while the rest of the stadium was watching the emotional rendition of the Star Spangled Banner and seeing the fighter jets fly overhead. So at a time when the entire stadium and everyone watching on TV was paying tribute not just to our nation but a special tribute to the first responders on 9/11, my husband was being a hero and saving this man's life just like he does every day on duty. Thankfully he was not on the field today holding a piece of the flag because his services were needed elsewhere. Divine intervention.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I often have people tell me they wish I would blog more often. I would love to but really I only blog when the situation presents itself as a blog-worthy event. I know everyone has funny and fun things happening every day but about once a week or once every other week I have an experience or a series of experiences that are so freaking funny the only thing TO do is blog about them. I don't make it up. I don't encourage it or coach it along. I just sit back and watch it happen to me/around me/because of me. I tell it like it is. And what it is tonight is hilarious. I could have prevented some of it if I had my mind right (like my father-in-law tells the boys) or get my brain back (like our daycare provider tells the boys). I did neither of these things. I was on a mission. I couldn't be stopped. But it wasn't pretty. So here's my story....

My goal was to purchase some fun kid gifts for a few underprivileged boys....which I am doing on behalf of someone else so I don't want to take the credit for all of this :) This task is right up my ally because a) I have two young boys so it's super easy to find something they will like and b) I am a shopaholic. I'm the right girl for the mission.

I picked the boys up from daycare and before we left we took a quick potty break before we headed to the store. Leo peed onto his undies and shorts by peeing under the lid but above the potty....so straight through that tiny slot right onto his clothes. I always ask myself later why I didn't see this disastrous night coming right then and there. I wiped him off as best as possible with the intention to run home and change his clothes before our shopping trip. In the time it took me to get to the car and 10 houses down the street to our house I forgot. Thus he wore shorts with a pee spot on them the rest of the night. Every day I see my chances for Mother of the Year slip farther and farther away.

So to Target we go. My plan was to buy a few electronic game type things and a few accessories and get out of there. I know exactly where they are so it should.....SHOULD being the key word.....have been a quick and easy in and out. It SO WAS NOT!!!

I warned the boys ahead of time that we are buying gifts for kids that don't have toys. We have lots, they have none or very few, etc, etc. We are NOT buying toys for us, but we will buy one treat/candy at the register if they are good. And they were pretty good. We were able to get all but one of the items at the Target and learned that the other item we needed was at another Target nearby. Totally doable. (Totally NOT!).

We made it all the way to the register without incident. We actually successfully picked out fun toys for someone other than ourselves without incident. Big ol' pat on the back! So they were rewarded with treats. Fruit snacks for Leo. Chocolate for Justin. The kid has never actually had a real full sized candy bar so he was transfixed by the Twix we chose. Aside from the melted chocolate on his fingers Justin was an absolute angle the whole time! Couldn't have been more proud of him throughout the next disastrous hour.

Leo. Um, not so much. I let him have about 10 of the fruit snacks and then figured we should stop lest we ruin his dinner. We are in the check out line. In fact the girl has already scanned both treats so they could eat them. Enter: TOTAL FREAK OUT. This kid just freaked out. Bawling and begging for the rest of the fruit snacks. Let me see if I can paint this picture for you:

After a day full of daycare and playing outside Leo is filthy. His hands and face are grimy and the tears are just making big dirt stained tears down his face. He put on bright red Lightening McQueen socks last night before bed and insisted on wearing them to daycare today with his white and blue tennis shoes. I had a yellow shirt already picked out for him. So the poor kid is looking a little mismatched as it is and the big fat freak out isn't helping matters.

So I'm trying to pay. I was trying to open up a Target debit card for my 5% discount since I was making kind of a large purchase so I'm going through the prompts on the credit card keypad. For whatever reason, karma probably, it doesn't like me. When the clerk tries to process the application it gives an error message. Reflecting back, if I am turned down for a DEBIT card that debits directly from my checking account then it probably means I shouldn't be spending money anyway. It's like it was in cahoots with my husband to prevent me from spending money....but this wasn't my money anyway. Remember, I was purchasing these items on behalf of someone else.

Anywho, the cashier keeps pushing the enter button like 20 times and eventually the whole register shuts down and gives this scary looking error message. Meanwhile Leo is SCREAMING! Yup, this whole time. So we head to another register to try it again. Same thing happens. A different cashier/manager person tries to get it to work with no luck. By this time I have entered my info on the little key pad about 5 times and it won't work. Leo continues to cry most of the time alternated with rolling around on the dirty target floor. Super. Justin is being ridiculously helpful by trying to distract Leo by playing "we are on a mission" and crawling in and out of the bottom of our cart. He was thoroughly impressed with himself each time he ended up on the other side of the cart. Knock yourself out kid! More crying from Leo.

I finally just asked Target to give me my 5% discount anyway and let me pay with my own card so I can just get the hell out of there. Remember I still needed to go to the other Target nearby and purchase the one item they didn't have at this store. Again, I didn't have my mind right because I thought I could just run in there and do it quickly despite the chaos continuing around me. So finally they get the stupid card thing to work. The boys are rewarded for their "patience" with a Target sticker which Leo tries to eat. I get it. We haven't had dinner yet, but it's not like he is six months old and puts toys in his mouth! What the hell is wrong with him? I know, I know. It's me. I needed to just stop what I was doing and feed them dinner. Hungry boys = cranky boys.

After almost 25 minutes at the register we are out the door. Leo asks for fruit snacks again which are denied simply on the principle of it at this point although I know he is hungry. I can't give into him now after he just screamed in Target for 25 minutes. (reflection...I should have purchased some other snacks while I stood there in line but I'm just not that smart!) He asks for gum in the car, he gets it and all is well. Crying and fits have ceased. I think we can make our 2nd Target stop.

Silly, silly girl I am.

We hit Target #2 over by Metro North Mall. As soon as I get the boys out of the car and into the parking lot Leo shouts out of nowhere "MY PEE PEE HURTS!!!" and immediately grabs himself and pushes it down. What???? Are you kidding me? So my first thought is that I just don't understand how a 2 year old gets an erection in the Target parking lot (because that's why his pee pee was hurting). I just don't get it. I will never understand how a body part just moves independently of its owner. My second thought was that this dang 2 year old is getting a hard on by making my life miserable!!!! I realize that is an inappropriate thought but it is the reality of what I thought. Some of you are laughing because you've been there. Others of you have gasped or rolled your eyes at me or if you are like my mother you have pursed your lips together and you are shaking your head. Whatever. I stand by my thought that Leo was getting some sort of pleasure in torturing me tonight. I repeat: I just don't get it.

We make our way inside and because I am a stupid broad (as someone called me....and my staff... at work today) I forgo the shopping cart. I need one thing and one thing only. I know where it is and I want in and out. Why, oh why did I not learn my lesson in the first Target?

As we run, well I walked and they ran, towards the toy aisle Leo shouts out that his big toe hurts. What now? Are you freaking kidding me? He starts a dramatic limp down the aisle begging me to pick him up. Why did I not get a cart. WHHHHYYYYYYYY???????

So I pick up the child and lug him around. I get the little gadget that I need and head for the front of the store. Halfway there I realize this particular gadget can only be charged by plugging it into the USB port of a computer....which this underprivileged family DOES NOT HAVE! I have wasted my trip. I could have purchased everything at the first Target. I could just kick myself. We go back to the toy section (lugging Leo due to new toe injury likely caused by tennis shoes that are too small from last year that he insisted on wearing today) and get a different toy.....one that WAS available at the first Target.

Then back to the register. Something about the register setting reminds Leo he should be throwing a fit. The crying and flopping on the floor commences again. We pay quickly this time, thankfully, and we head out the door.

As we get in the car Leo says "Hey, I stopped crying now mom. I am ready for my special treat." Sure. Here's a bag of fruit snacks. Eat your heart out. I'm spent. And thanks for saving the good behavior for the privacy of our car. I would hate for anyone to think I have any control over anything outside of my own car or home.

We make the trip home, cram in some dinner and a quick Batman cartoon and prepare for bed. I am exhausted and haven't eaten dinner myself at this point so I'm not really a happy camper. Justin's response to my crankiness: Mom, maybe if you are cranky you should try to go to bed early.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

We are big fans of make believe in this house right now. With a 4 year old and a 2 year old pretty much everything revolves around make believe. From the good ol' days when Pooties was everyone's favorite imaginary friend to Justin's recent "date" with Batgirl to Leo's fake machine gun noises while his Batman toy attacks Darth Vader we are sporting some huge imaginations around this house.

For example, Leo insists on being Batdog most evenings complete with growling/barking in place of talking, licking in place of good night kisses, and of course remaining on all fours at all times. This can make the bedtime routine a little challenging. He was pretty much Batdog for the last 45 minutes of the night tonight. He only breaks character to remind me that he is a dog. "No, mom say 'brush your teeth DOGGIE" whenever I mistakenly ask Leo to do something. "Go potty, doggie." "Do you want to rock-a-bye, Doggie?" "Say goodnight Doggie." He even barked at me as I shut his door tonight.

One of their other favorite games right now is to play Baby Justin and Baby Leo. It's just what it sounds like. They are baby crazy right now so they want to pretend one of them is a baby. They want me to hold one of them and cradle him in my arms while the other one lovingly coos and baby talks to his "baby" brother. They whimper and cry like a baby and drink fake bottles, etc, etc. Usually this happens right after bath time so they can be swaddled in a bath towel. They really have a rough life, huh?

And because I am still trying to get back in the running for Mother of Year (after Justin's use of the words freaking and shit all in one weekend), I play along with everything. I mean EVERYTHING. I pretend the scribbles are in fact a well drawn spaceship and I knew that all along. I play with cars, trucks, and numerous transformer/batman/scooby figurines although my car engine noises and my transformer conversations leave something to be desired. I listen to the stories and give proper oohh's and ahhhh's and scary or surprised faces all on cue. I dance at the dance parties. I applaud all of the Lego configurations. I allow Wrestlemania just about every night and go along with the entire song and dance (sometimes literally) that goes with each wrestling match while silently praying that no one breaks and arm or cracks their head open!

But heaven forbid I be allowed to get in on the whole act. Tonight I was all cuddled up on Jeremy's lap taking a brief rest before starting dinner. Justin had to come poke his nose in our peaceful moment and wanted to know what we were doing. So Jeremy tries to play out one of their favorite games and starts pretending like I am Baby Mommy. Not, mind you, Baby Mama....although I guess I am that too if you think about it. So Jeremy starts using the baby voice and cooing in my face. He is rocking me in his arms as if I'm a baby. I'm all cuddled up and making little cooing sounds back at him.

And what do I get for my efforts at make believe? Justin just looks at us and says "Stop it, Mom. That's just being ridiculous." Well, alrighty then. Baby Mommy got shut down! Do you think he would like it the next time he "draws" me a picture and I just say "Geez Justin that's just a big pile of scribbles!" Or when he hands me a dandelion should I say "are you freaking kidding me? that's a weed! get it out of my face." But no, I am a mother. So I oblige him by stopping the "ridiculous" Baby Mommy game and get back to the reality of a Thursday evening. It's ok. I went into this job willingly and I wouldn't change it for the world!!