Yes, There's Always Room For Jello

BEN CRANDELL SOUTH BEACH SCENE

June 17, 2005|BEN CRANDELL SOUTH BEACH SCENE

Stop me if I've told you this one before

One morning I sauntered out of the bedroom to find Jello Biafra seated at the breakfast nook. His muscular arms were outstretched, the Asection of the New York Times unfurled in that awkward moment when the reader, having turned to an inside page, is compelled to finish a paragraph before folding the section. Reading glasses clung precariously to the bridge of his nose. A white plaster cast encased his right leg below the knee. He was bare from the waist up, the black hair on his pale chest and stomach shaved into a cross. He had made coffee.

Even now the details of how the lead singer of the full-throttle NoCal punk outfit the Dead Kennedys came to be sitting there are murky.

We had seen the band perform the night before in an old converted supermarket under a freeway near downtown Houston. After the show a friend had instructed me to pull the car around back of the venue to pick up a "friend," and out hobbled the great Jello Biafra (the broken leg a war wound from earlier in the tour). We folded him stiffly into our almost-new 1983 Celica Supra, where he joined an impressive list of the musically inclined to grace its seats. (My friend would reject the term "groupie," but she did engage some moderately well-known singers, guitarists and drummers in animated post-concert uh, conversation.)

I do remember the ride home. One of the occupants of our car was a future Log Cabin Republican who, from his claustrophobic quarters in the hatchback (Celica, remember?), felt obliged to debate our guest on prickly issues of the day: Reagan, law and order, international diplomacy and supply-side economics (central tenet: tax cuts for the wealthy will "trickle down" to us all).

FOR THE RECORD - CORRECTION PUBLISHED SATURDAY, JUNE 18, 2005An article on Page 42 of Friday's Showtime section misidentified the singer of the band Dead Kennedys. The singer is Jeff Penalty.

It was a bloodbath, of course. But far from being the loud-mouthed bully I expected from the man who sang California M-|ber Alles, Jello Biafra was thoughtful and articulate. And loud. Apparently he had joined a band because (groupies notwithstanding) he had something to say about America in the '80s: In this case, that Reaganomics brought aid and comfort to the rich; collateral benefits to anyone else was gravy.

Your might wonder what he makes of the state of affairs in the eerily similar 2000s. You might also wonder whether the Dead Kennedys' brand of discourse will resonate in a time when Green Day is "punk." Let's find out June 25 at Respectable Street (518 Clematis St., West Palm Beach). Tickets: $18.50, $22 (18 and older show). Information: 561-832-9999.

Him talk pretty next Saturday: David Sedaris has groupies. Some possibly drive 1983 Celicas, though I can't see him climbing into one. But you never know.

The writer, wit, playwright and NPR commentator visits Books & Books in Coral Gables (265 Aragon Ave.) June 23 to talk and sign copies of his books, including the best-selling Barrel Fever, Naked, Holidays on Ice and Me Talk Pretty One Day. A limited supply of tickets for his 7 p.m. talk, which precedes the autograph session, are available with the purchase of his two latest paperbacks, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim ($14.95) and Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules ($14.95), a collection of his favorite short stories. Proceeds benefit 826NYC, a nonprofit tutoring center in Brooklyn, New York. This event is co-sponsored by City Theatre. Information: 305-444-9044.

Wet, wet, wet: Get the weekend started with a poolside screening of the 1953 Esther Williams flick Dangerous When Wet (she frolics with cartoon stars Tom & Jerry) at the National Hotel's Wine Club event June 24 from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. The film will be paired with a selection of crisp California whites, plus hors d'ouevres. Cost is $40, tax/tip included. Proceeds go to the Miami Beach Film Society. The hotel is at 1677 Collins. Information: 305-423-7274.

Spinning out: DJ culture is the kudzu of pop music. It's all pretty and green, and grows without a care where nothing else will It's all good, right?

Shop till you drop-kick someone: Where is the challenge in finding the perfect blouse at BM-ibM-i? Where's your competitive spirit? If you really want to flex your shopping muscle, try trolling the one-of-a-kind curios and collectibles at the inaugural North Beach Bazaar, a craft fair and community garage sale set for 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. June 26 at 73rd Street and Collins Avenue. Information: 305-865-4147.