Wow, man, it's a drag being a rock
(Help, I'm a rock)
(Help, I'm a rock)
(Help, I'm a rock)
I wish I was anything but a rock
Heck, I'd even like to be a policeman
Hey, you know what?
You know maybe if I practice, you know
Maybe if I pass my driving test
I could get a gig drivin' that bus that pick the freaks up
In front of Ben Frank's , right?

Always wondered what I was gonna be when I grew up, you know
Always wondered whether or not . . . whether or not I could make it
You know, in society, because,
You know, it's a drag when you're rejected
So I tore the cover off a book of matches
And I sent in
And I got this letter back that said . . .

Ahead Of Their Time Version

Help, I'm a rock
Help, I'm a rock
Help, I'm a rock
Help, I'm a rock

Alright, sure it's a drag being a rock
I wish I was anything but a rock
Heck, I would even like to be a policeman

You know it's a drag being a policeman
I think I would rather be the mayor

FZ: "The heaviest stuff on there is 'It Can't Happen Here' and 'Who Are The Brain Police?' Nobody's penetrated 'Brain Police' - yet." - FK: "Who are the Brain Police?" - FZ: "I can't tell you that - it's a religious song. But the ones who say they like 'Brain Police' like it because it's got some screaming and they love it. The ones that like 'Help, I'm A Rock', you know that mumbling part at the end, haven't come to realize what the musical structure of that is. They'll perceive it because it's got some gag lines in it." - Frank Kofsky interviews FZ, 1967, Frank Kofsky

"Pick some freaks up in front of Ben Frank's" - (From: FZ - The Real Frank Zappa Book): "In 1966 and '67, the L.A.P.D. and the Sheriff's Department went to war with the freaks of Hollywood. Every weekend people were rounded up (with no warrants presented or charges stated) as they walked on Sunset Boulevard, forced into Sheriff's buses, driven downtown, held hostage for the evening, then let go- all because they had LONG HAIR. The places where they used to eat (Ben Frank's on Sunset and Canter's Deli on Fairfax) were under constant surveillance."