That was literally my reaction to actress, model, and noted constitutional scholar Kate Upton’s weak attempt to seem less white and privileged over her commentary on NFL players sitting or kneeling before NFL games.

First, Dr. Upton tweeted this:

This is unacceptable. You should be proud to be an American. Especially on 9/11 when we should support each other. https://t.co/qFozwaH9Bu

Because you know, she believes in you having your constitutional rights, she just doesn’t like how they look when put into practice. And the irony of course is that protesting during our National Anthem might be the most American thing you could do. For shit’s sake, the people who pushed for our freedom dressed as natives and committed corporate sabotage over the price of tea. We’ve always been a country to flout tradition and traditional power in the name of our binding principles of liberty and justice for all.

Apparently, though, Professor Upton wasn’t through commenting on the Kaepernick situation, and she clarified with one last tweet:

So to be clear, what Upton is suggesting is that the First Amendment be given limits. You know, limiting free speech to make us all love the country that invented free speech? Hey, it makes sense if you repeatedly hit yourself over the head with a blunt object, at least.

Maybe we should treat the First Amendment like a Disneyland Annual Pass. For some people, if you can afford it, you can have no blackout dates and you can express yourself non-violently however and whenever you want. For the rest of us, we have blackout dates, and apparently Ms. Upton thinks that NFL Football Sunday should be the first blackout date. Then I guess we’d have to add in all the times the national anthem is played before a game, from pros on down to the Little Leagues. Nothing says teaching kids what the Constitution means like completely ignoring it for arbitrary, faux-patriotism, eh?

Just think how much better history would have been if, say, Martin Luther King, Jr. had decided to only march on days that white racists found offensive. Imagine how much better the world would be now, if Jackie Robinson actually stood at attention for the anthem, instead of doing exactly what Kaepernick is doing now, sitting out! Oh, if only King would have had to check this First Amendment pass before delivering the “I Have A Dream” speech to make sure it wasn’t a free speech blackout day.

That sounds fucking stupid, right? That’s because it is. I’m not saying Kate Upton, J.D. is stupid…just the words coming out of her mouth on this issue.

It’s interesting to me that conservatives claim liberals are the thought police. They do it because we chastise people when they call black people “niggers” or homosexuals “faggots.” Apparently to them, freedom of speech means speech free from consequences, and it most certainly doesn’t. So their argument is basically we’re not allowed to criticize their speech…but that’s exactly what Nazi Barbie/Blaze host Tomi Lahren has been doing for a week straight on her show.

If their hypocrisy over thought policing liberals isn’t too much for you, maybe their galling hypocrisy on the issue of “small government” will do the trick. The simple fact is that nothing screams “big fucking government” like being forced to stand at attention and pledge your fealty to the government. Of course conservative hypocrisy isn’t anything new, but it should always be noteworthy, and it certainly is this time.

I just wish my fellow melanin-impaired humans would stop telling people of color how to live. I wish they’d stop getting all in a snit over someone protesting, whether it’s at an NFL game or in the streets of Baltimore and Ferguson. It boggles my mind that they seem incapable of seeing riots as being something wholly separate from the kinds of protests Kaepernick and other players in football and other sports are making. They bitch about the violence of BLM (because they idiotically assume BLM is an actual organization), and then when a black person protests peacefully, they’re called disrespectful.

To me, the most disrespect one can show is to rob another person of their basic human freedoms. Even if you disagree with Kaepernick’s reasoning, every single American should take pride in his ability to protest the police without being thrown in jail or clobbered for it like he would be in other countries. Instead, people like Upton and Lahren vomit their vapid and pointless critiques on the protesters, because to them, being faced with an uncomfortable truth that may not resonate in their personal day to day lives is just, like, the worst thing evarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, Buffy!

But for the record — the protests are exactly what we should be proud of this country for…unsurprisingly, there are a lot of Americans who don’t seem to get that.