Sacked banker hell

Commentary: A weekly roundup of offbeat stories on the Internet

LOS ANGELES (MarketWatch) -- Bank employees worldwide are losing their jobs due to the global financial crisis but nowhere are bankers suffering more than in the United Kingdom. Some might even deem it cruel and unusual punishment.

Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber is handing out free theater tickets to sacked bankers for the "The Sound of Music" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," subject to availability. The offer followed on the news that thousands of British staffers lost their jobs in the Lehman Brothers
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collapse. More are expected to be let go with the merger of HBOS (HBOS) with Lloyds TSB
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"Both 'The Sound of Music' and 'Joseph' are feel good shows and I thought that free tickets might offer some respite, albeit for a couple of hours, for some of those people who have sadly lost their jobs in the current economic upheaval," Webber said. "All you have to do is present your P45 (a document given to fired workers) as proof at the box office and two free tickets are yours."

Mickey Mouse must die

Move over Salman Rushdie, a higher profile celebrity is the subject of a new fatwa calling for his swift demise.

"Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases," declared Saudi Cleric Muhammad Al-Munajid on Al-Majd TV. The good cleric also found fault with Jerry of the mouse/feline duo "Tom & Jerry." We've seen no response from Disney
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or the Cartoon Network
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regarding the threat to their high profile rodents but Hamas TV may have had an inkling to the cleric's passion on this subject when it "martyred" the precocious Mickey Mouse look alike Farfour last year.

Al-Munajid, a former diplomat who once served in the Saudi embassy in Washington, dubbed mice in general as "Satan's soldiers" and that Shari'a (Islamic law) refers to the mouse as a "little corrupter." He may be onto something. Just ask former Mouseketeer Britney Spears. -- Ynet News

Pillow text

According to a new survey put out by Starwood Hotels
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87% of professionals bring their personal digital assistant, PDA, into the bedroom. More than a third, if forced to choose, would pick their PDA over their spouse.

The study surveyed 6500 workplace professionals with an individual income of $50,000 or more, made two or more business trips per year (hence a hotel survey) and had a Blackberry
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or mobile email device. There were 1,500 respondents from the U.S. with the remainder coming from China, Australia, the U.K. and Germany.

The report would seem to confirm rampant Blackberry addiction across the globe. Does anyone remember the agony of withdrawal the day the "Crackberry" died? Indeed, two years ago a Rutgers University white paper warned that companies keeping employees tethered to work through their PDAs could open themselves up to addiction law suits in the future. Message to spouse: If you get a text in the middle of the night and it's coming from the person next to you, it may be time to call a lawyer. -- Press release

What we didn't know about Martha

Most celebrity parents dread the tell-all book written by resentful offspring. Martha Stewart, however, used her media empire to give her daughter a forum to dish out the family "secrets." Keeping it in the family, Alexis Stewart co-hosts the satirical "Whatever, Martha" with Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, the daughter of Charles Koppelman, who happens to be Martha Stewart Living Omnivision's
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chairman. No word if dish will be spilled on the music mogul and co-writer of the 1960's hit "Yogi" as well. So what do we know about Martha that we didn't know before? Apparently she likes 'em young. The co-hosts reflected on one Martha Stewart Living episode where Martha taught a young man to hem his pants. When the gentleman left the screen, the pair just knew that he'd be coming back in his skivvies. And wouldn't you know... More from Jon Friedman

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