Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Weird News Wednesday-Moose Mania!

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër ?

See the løveli lakes

The wøndërful telephøne system

And mäni interesting furry animals

Including the majestik møøse

STOCKHOLM (AFP) - A moose that became inebriated after binging on fermented fallen apples in northern Sweden drowned when it fell through the ice of a frozen inlet, a Swedish tabloid has reported. "The moose appears to have eaten too many fermented apples and become confused out on the ice," Luleaa police spokesman Erik Kummu told Aftonbladet on Thursday. Emergency services were scrambled but they were unable to save the four-legged apple thief. For several days prior to the moose's demise, local residents had contacted police after seeing the animal munch its way through rotting fruit, Aftonbladet said. Drunk moose are relatively common in Sweden in late autumn as the animals eat fallen apples which ferment slightly on the ground.

Drunken mooses, meese, meeses? What a fun word to pluralize. Anyway, large besotted cervines could be a real problem for the tourist board. And don't even think of giving a drunk moose your car keys. Friends don't let moose drive drunk.

A Møøse once bit my sister...

Maybe we should have designated moose. 'No apples for me thanks, I'm sticking to berries. I've gotta get my slobbering pal Bjorn home tonight without him putting his antlers through the windshield. That's hard enough when he hasn't been hitting the apples.'

No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law -an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...

*We apologise for the fault in this blog entry. Those responsible have been sacked.

And then there's Bjorn trying to pick up a date. 'Nice rack, baby!' The idiot forgets that the girls don't have antlers. Then he wonders why the gets a hoof up his rump for a come on to the wrong moose. I mean we are straight mooses, meeses, meese.....ack....we like girls. I mean if Bjorn were into guys it's his business and I take him down the road to the other orchard. But put a bushel of apples in him and he doesn't know which end is up.

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...

*We apologise again for the fault in this blog entry. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

Listen, I'm just pondering the week's news and you're getting all upppity here. It's my blog anyway AND it's Weird Wednesday. If I can't post about drunken mooses, meeses, meese....those big-assed critters...and inject some lines from Monty Python without you creating problems, you little twerp, I might just have to sic a drunk moose on you.

*The directors of the firmhired to continue theblog entry after theother people had been sacked, wish it tobe known that theyhave just been sacked.The blog entry hasbeen completed in anentirely different style atgreat expense and at the last minute.