I miss you so much

Updated on August 9, 2013

Mom's birthday

Mom's are special!

A life is so fragile at times, a baby is so precious , a childhood is very special, a mom will always be there for us, a dad will always show us the way, a family is our connection to life. A birthday is our yearly reminder! Every year that goes by we welcome another anniversary of our birth. When we think of our birthday we are always reminded of our mom who gave birth to us. It is not only our special day but it is an honor bestowed on our mother who carried us and gave us life. Precious life, when we were loved and nurtured and raised from infancy. We also take great joy in celebrating the birthdays of our family members including our moms. Moms who give birth started out as babies too born to mothers and so the cycle continues one generation to the next. It truly is remarkable and a precious miracle that we all are grateful for. It is truly heartbreaking for a mom to lose her baby and sadly this is a very painful reality for some and you know when a baby comes into your life they truly touch you so for a family who loses their precious little one it is a deep hurt and for that moment they shared that baby will always be a part of their life though it was fleeting. A mother's deepest pain is the loss of her baby.

When we are kids we take great joy in celebrating our mother's birthday. We are all excited and want to show our love and appreciation so we try to make their day memorable and we usually make our own birthday card with our own drawings and with our very own words. The real joy is seeing the smile on our mom's face when she reads our card and it really makes us feel good as she reaches over to hug us and with words that make our hearts draw closer she says Thank you for such a wonderful gift! I Love you so much! It is a true feeling we all hold close to our hearts and cherish for all eternity because moments like these are so very precious and they stay with us for a lifetime.

I remember my sisters and I would take care of our mom on her birthday because she took care of us each and every day and she deserved at least one day and what better day than her birthday. We would make her breakfast in bed with dad's help of course and we would see that she was comfortable and had a nice choice of her favorites which were usually pancakes with maple syrup, a glass of orange juice and a hot tea. I remember it as if it were yesterday as the memories come to mind on each passing birthday. She and dad are no longer here with us but the memories are and they will stay with me for a lifetime.

I have been very fortunate to grow up in a loving family and although things were not perfect we had wonderful times together and our childhoods were indeed very special and a very happy time. I will strive to make our son's childhood special too and try to help guide him and teach him to always be grateful for all the good things in life. It is a shame we have to grow up so fast. I remember when my son was just a baby which did not seem that long ago, yet he is now approaching his teenage years. I now understand what it was like for my parents as we grew up. The whole concept of living is that it is always changing and we have no control over aging. It just happens and we have to go forward knowing this.

Mom was very special to us and we knew she always tried her best. We realize that she did have some difficult experiences in her life but she managed to get through them and showed her courage and strength as a mother, a wife and a career woman. She was the glue that kept the family together but we all suffered when she got sick and dad had to step in a joint role because mom needed medical care regularly which took its toll on all of us. We missed the strong and devoted mother she was. We wanted her to always be what we knew she was but sadly she was robbed of this with all the medication she had to take. We had to say goodbye to our mom at the tender age of 50 and I will never forget the last visit I had with my mom when she was still with us and the last visit with her when she was being waked. It was the most difficult thing I had to go through and it made me realize how life is just so uncertain and we just really never know. That is why we have to try to live each day with a sense of importance and always remember that we are only here for a short while and we need to do all we are meant to do before it is our time.

My last visit with my mom when she was at the hospital two days before she passed I remember holding her hand and telling her that I loved her and wanted her back home. I told her I missed her and hoped she would be feeling better soon so she could go home. It was not meant to be and I at least did tell her that I loved her and was very lucky to have her as a mom and I kissed her on the forehead and told her I would be back to see her soon. That day never came though so when I had to say good bye to her in the funeral home I found it very difficult and I could not help but cry for my mother who I missed so much.

Today, July 1 is her birthday and I wanted to wish her from the bottom of my heart a very happy birthday as I now have a chance to smile as I remember back to those wonderful days so long ago. I know in my heart how important it is to cherish the precious memories of her and dad who are both happily reunited together.

If I think back to my early childhood I can envision my mom as a young and beautiful woman who enjoyed being a mother and made sure my 2 sisters and I were always well cared for. Despite the times we lived in my mom tried her best to filter the news and shield us from the craziness of the turbulent 1960's and 1970's. She introduced me to good music during that time and she taught me to listen and be courteous and respectful of others. She had the patience of a saint and I remember fondly her love of the game of baseball and the team that broke her heart. She eventually turned her affection to the Mets for whom she became a very loyal fan. I remember we would always watch their games on tv during the season and every now and then would go to Shea to see a game which was a special treat.

I also enjoyed looking at pictures of my mom when she was a little girl. It seems so amazing that the little girl we saw in those pictures had grown up to become our mom. It is so touching to catch a glimpse of our mom during her childhood. It makes it even more special when I share pictures of my parents when they were young and pictures of myself when I was a baby with my son. I enjoy this bonding experience with my son and as I see him growing I realize it is so precious to truly appreciate your children when they are babies because the time flies by and before you know it you are wondering where the time had went.

Life has a way of touching all of us and stories of courage, hope and inspiration all make us feel and learn about the triumph of the human spirit. I have been touched by the story of baby Kayleigh and her family and their love for their precious little girl will make you realize the true gift that life is and how a precious little baby touches us all. Baby Kayleigh is a baby girl who defied all the odds when she was born weighing only one pound. She was only here for a brief moment but her courage and her will to survive surely inspired not only her mom, dad and family but all who learned about this precious little baby girl who had many surgeries and she held on and fought each one with such bravery. I cried when I saw the family video and felt such love and courage. They celebrate her life each and every day and though she is no longer with them, they were truly blessed by her brief presence here. She is an angel and she will live in her family's heart for all eternity and her story will touch us all. Please read the truly incredible story of her precious life on the family blog. It will make you appreciate life so much.

Mom you would love this story of this precious little angel named Kayleigh! Happy Birthday! We miss you and love you very much.