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12 quick ways for Muslim parents to inspire manners to their children

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12 quick but highly effective ways for Muslim parents to inspire manners to their children

Let’s face it, some of our children lack mannerisms and undoubtedly the parents are at fault to a certain degree for not instilling good manners from the young age.

Dr Hisham al-Awadi speacilises in giving meaningful advice to Muslim parents regarding how they should nurture their children in an Islamic way with positive results. Do check out his Facebook profile for further amazing tips.

Now here is his 12 tips on how to inspire manners to your children:

1. When entering the house greet your children with salams and kisses. This should help develop their sense of love and mercy.

2. Be good to your neighbours and never backbite. Never speak ill of other drivers when on the road. Your children listen, absorb and emulate.

3. When calling your parents, encourage your children to speak to them. When visiting you parents take your children with you. The more they see you take care of your parents the more they will learn to take care of you.

4. When driving them say to school, don’t always play albums or cds (even if my cds!). Rather, tell them the stories yourself. This will have a greater impact – trust me!

5. Read to them a short hadith a day – it doesn’t take much time, but very impactful in creating strong bonds and wonderful memories.

6. Comb your hair, clean your teeth and wear presentable cloths even if sitting at home and not going out for the day. They need to learn that being clean and tidy has nothing to do with going out!

7. Try not to blame or comment on every word or action they say or do. Learn to overlook and let go sometimes. This certainly builds their self-confidence.

8. Ask your children’s permission before entering their rooms. They will learn to do the same when wanting to enter others room.

9. Apologize to your children if you made a mistake. Apologizing teaches them to be humble and polite.

10. Don’t be sarcastic or make fun of their views or feelings, even if you “didn’t mean it” and was “only joking”. It really hurts.

11. Show respect to your children’s privacy. Its important for their sense of value and self-esteem.

12. Don’t expect that they will listen or understand the first time. Don’t take it personally. Muhammad ‏ﷺ never did. But be patient and consistent.

Take a moment and reflect on these pointers to find out what we are doing right and what we ought to do better. Remember Muslim parents, we will be held accountable for how we raised our children. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”

[Sahih al-Bukhari 6719, Sahih Muslim 1829]

May Allāh Azzawajal guide the parents to raise the children righteously and make the children obedient.

12 phrases our kids shouldn’t hear from us

Bringing up our children, we often forget how important the words we say to them are. They may be words of approval, but they can also be negative words that we sometimes throw at our kids in anger, frustration or annoyance.

The way we deal with our children can make or break our own state of affairs too. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) warned:

Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock…A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock.

[Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]

Just as Islam champions justice in a variety of matters, it does the same with our treatment of children, especially when there are multiple children involved. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon said):

Fear Allah and be just between your children.

[Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]

There’s always a better way of dealing with situations, with the hope the child’s self-esteem and confidence don’t get a knock down effect.