Who wouldn't like to feel as happy at your next gathering as this young woman?Well, when all goes well, we are this happy.

We just had our annual neighborhood holiday party. We have great neighbors who like to spend time together. In the cold, dark Oregon winter, we love the glow of a large gathering. We like easy, so the potluck is pretty open and we get a delightful variety of sides, mains and desserts--unlike the potluck my dad went to in the 1930's when 13 families all brought beans. And yet happy people make for happy bellies.

But family and work gatherings can often include subtle and not so subtle conflicts. And that brings things that are hard to swallow.

There is a way to use your body to find and move from a grounded, stable and uniquely you posture or alignment that will help you have a much more enjoyable time.It involves what I call "emotional Aikido" in which a force which comes toward you is redirected smoothly without harm to you or the creator of the force.

When an emotional force comes at us our bodies naturally do one of two things.

Tense our bodies and lift our chest like a shield to deflect the blow

Curl our trunk forward which hugs the place that the blow enters.

These two postures are opposite ends of a continuous arc from flexion (curling down) to extension (lifting up).They aren't separate, although often we get stuck in one or the other reaction. The beauty of "emotional aikido" is that we can use the effective combination of both to redirect the force with ease and elegance.

Click here to watch me demonstrate (and see my cute red purse!)or read on for how to do it:

Sit at the edge of a firm chair. Let the thought of the challenge go off somewhere, and focus on your body.

Your feet are flat on the floor and your knees are at or below the level of your hips.

Relax and let gravity pull you down as your pelvis rocks back, and you sit behind your sit-bones. As this happens your chest falls down forward and your head nods just a little; so you end up in a C curve with your shoulders resting over your hips. I call this "flexion." (Caution: this is not the slump that our couches, smart phones and cars take us into).

Now fall a little forward so you feel your weight shifting more into your feet. Push off with your feet as your pelvis rocks forward, your back arches a little and your head looks up at a diagonal (your weight is still forward--flying toward possibility...). I call this "extension." Immediately allow your waist to rest comfortably somewhere back in the middle of this range; your chest is a little forward of what feels normal. I call this "neutral," but you can call it "Ready" or "Albuquerque" or "Simone;" whatever strikes you as fun, because NOW you're ready for some fun!

Practice, practice, practice...with eyes wide and a little smile on your face....remember, you're learning something new so set it into a positive place.

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About Me

I'm Valerie Lyon, the Mojo Recovery Therapist.I've been there and back many times all my life.And I've gathered many "strings for my bow" in my journeys from Ow to Wow.I love sharing my insights and those of others.