5 Couples: We've had great sex life for many years - that's how we do it

In many relationships, sex life subsides after some time.Couples who still have a great love life after years of being together have given us their tips.Sex is an indispensable part of a happy relationship for most people. Nevertheless, the statistical link between long-term relationships and less sex is sad reality for many couples.

A 2017 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior shows that married or long-term couples had less frequent sex in the period 1989-2014. As if we had not always suspected cynical weaklings.

Of course, everyday life often gets in the way and priorities change, but is sex really less important?

► If you ask these five pairs, not. Her sex life is still as exciting as in her hot early days.

Here you read how couples who have been together for ten or twenty years, keep their passion burning. How often do they still have sex and what advice do they give couples who are going through a period of drought?

► Some names have been changed for privacy reasons.

1. Michelle & Alison► Michelle and Alison, both 35, have been together for 17 years and married for eight years.

Did you always have the same amount of sex in the relationship?

Much, sometimes less. After that it will be intense again and again. When we have had a drought, we will spend more time together and try to get back on a green branch.Even if it should only be once a few weeks, we start to have regular sex again.Sexual playfulness keeps the spark alive. My wife knows that I love to be bitten, pulled by the hair and so on.She just casually bites my throat, even if it does not necessarily lead to sex because it's just sleeping or eating time. That creates expectations and excitement like nothing else. She likes soft tickling and in-ear whispering.

How do you define "good" sex?

I think that has changed over the years . At the beginning of our relationship we had sex for hours. That's just not realistic anymore. We still revel in how wonderful our relationship was in the beginning.But recently my wife said that she had the best orgasm ever.

2. Sheree & Doug► Sheree, 54 and Doug, 59, have been together for 34 years

How did you meet ?

He was my night shift foreman at UPS. I unloaded trucks.

Did you always have the same amount of sex in the relationship?

We have always had an active and fulfilling sex life. The few periods of drought that we had were due to illness, depression or the death of a family member. But we always talked about it.I always want him to know how attractive he is and how much I am attracted to him. There must always be this flame and the other one must know that it is burning. Even if she is a bit weaker.

Why do you think sex will be less important for some couples?

People who believe or who follow the stereotype that sex ends up just from a certain point in the relationship just do not want to work on it.Sometimes it is work too. I would even bother or beg my partner (seriously). This tells Doug how much I still crave him. Just like when he got into my UPS truck.

What advice do you have for such couples?

There is no easy way to common happiness. Give everything or the risk that passion disappears becomes too big.

3. Jessica & Robert ► Jessica, 46 and Robert, 45 have been married for 21 years.

"The special thing about our relationship is that we are not sexually exclusive," says Jessica of HuffPost. "We have a very active, happy sex life, only the two of us, but we also have sex with other partners."

Did you have droughts in your relationship? How did you overcome them?

My husband suffered from depression and later had a bad back injury. This time could be called "drought periods". I was also depressed at the beginning of my second pregnancy, but sex was rare enough anyway.We came through this time with a combination of communication, transparency and self-confidence.The problem that can and will arise is trust: Do I trust my partner when he says that it is not because he no longer desires me? Do I really believe that?The question can always be in the relationship and not being sexually exclusive makes it even more complicated.There were few (and fortunately) drought periods, at long intervals, but there was always a factual, measurable reason.But we have always thought it wise not to have sex with others during a drought. In order to get through such a phase, we have always spun a cocoon around us, our common space, our bladder, to re-explore ourselves.It is an exhausting task that requires complete honesty and blind faith.

Did you just have such regular sex or did you have to work on it?

We got together in the early twenties. Neither of them had much experience, maybe two or three lovers before. Before I met my husband, I was in an abusive relationship. In short, sex was difficult at first. It took us a while to find our rhythm. But when we got in, there was no turning back!Add to that our lifestyle. Meanwhile, we both had sex with many people and feel much more relaxed than before.It also shows when we are in bed, because we are more self-confident when it comes to saying what we really want in sex and.

What do you think about the stereotype that couples have less sex when their relationship lasts longer?

I think where smoke is, it's also fire - so there has to be some truth to it. In fact, we have enough friends and acquaintances (swinger and non-swinger) who complain about it, so it's true.A partnership of any kind needs work.Partners lose themselves in trifles, annoying duties, a thousand things that are needed to stay on course. Unfortunately, personal matters often take a back seat.People forget that all involved, including themselves, are real people and not an inanimate object.

4. Anne & Austin► Anne, 30, and Austin, 35, have been together for ten years.

Did you always have the same amount of sex in the relationship?

Yes and no. We have phases in which we have sex every night and periods when we did not have one for a month.It is consistently different if that makes sense. Our children still try to sneak into our bed at night. Of course that changes everything!

Are you watching porn or doing anything else to fuel the relationship?

Not together. He watches porn and I think that's okay. Honestly, I notice it when he watched porn. It affects me and he tries new things with me.It's exciting. I benefit from it, that's why it's ok for me.

What advice do you give couples who go through a drought period?

No panic! Seriously. We have had months of drought. In my opinion and experience this is totally normal.You may not like it, but it's normal! That does not mean that there is anything wrong with your relationship, or that someone is cheating or whatever you believe.Life sometimes gets the best of us too. Whether you are stressed out, too busy or just comfortable and no longer feel the pressure to do something all the time, it's over.

5. Lily & Gary ► Lily, 50, and Gary, 56, have been together for 18 years.

What advice do you give couples who go through a drought period?

I think many people use the excuse "I'm too busy" or "too tired" to get around sex. Actually, having more sex could help you feel better.For my self-confidence, it has worked wonders to make me desire, as well as my husband.I see intimacy as another form of communication. We are thankful for our sex life. Unfortunately, when we hear from other couples or read articles, we do not fail to notice that we are the exception.

Has your idea of ​​good sex changed over the years?

Yes. Good sex is not enforced and each partner should want to give the other pleasure. We have never attended a course, but every now and then we watch porn.My husband bought me my first toy. I was raised by a very conservative mother. Sex toys were unthinkable!And as a Latina, I considered her an affront to the men in my culture. How dare I, as a woman, have fun with anything other than my husband?

Does a bigger penis automatically mean greater happiness during sex? Or should men finally believe women, that it is the technology that is crucial? Even if these questions can never be answered conclusively, SI deals online with the latest discussion on the subject.