Hoffman: Hidden cost of customer cards: too much stuff

Published 5:30 am, Monday, June 14, 2010

As Dennis Miller would say, “Now, I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but…”

I like supermarket customer cards. I got one from every supermarket that offers them. I’m willing to trade a little invasion of privacy for discount prices. But now they’re getting greedy.

Used to be, a 2-liter bottle of Diet Pepsi was $1.99 regular price. But show them your customer card, and the price goes down to $1.39. Fine. I don’t mind the supermarket knowing what products I buy and what prescription drugs I’m taking, which deodorant I use and why I am buying chocolate chip cookies at 3 a.m.

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Then it became four bottles for $5. But if you only wanted one bottle, you still got it for $1.25.

Now, if I buy eight bottles, they’re only 83 cents each — but you have to buy eight.

There are very few things I need eight of. I am not the Octodad.

When they make you buy eight of something, that’s not a discount — that’s Costco.

The Village People concert, scheduled for June 12 at Sam Houston Race Park, was canceled on June 10 because of “technical difficulties.” That’s a new one — they knew there would be technical difficulties two days before the show?

If you paid for tickets with a credit card, your money will be refunded automatically.

If you bought tickets at the track box office, bring the tickets back for a refund.

You can mail the tickets to Sam Houston Race Park, att: Village People refund, 7575 N. Sam Houston Parkway West, Houston, TX, 77064. If you’re going the mail route, keep a photocopy of your tickets, just in case.

Today’s trivia: What are the first three words in the beginning of the Bible?

You think radio talk shows in America are rough? We’re a bunch of Miss Manners compared to what’s going on in England.

After the U.S. tied England in the World Cup because the English goalie let a shot get past him that my dog Lilly could have stopped … I Googled “England sports radio talk shows” and … whoa!

First, they’re called “speech shows” in England. Second, those English soccer fans are completely insane. Third, I don’t think they have a bleep button over there. And fourth, if I were that goalie, I would seriously consider staying in South Africa.

And the host of ABC’s new prime-time game show Downfall, premiering June 22, is … pro wrestler Chris Jericho.

See? I’ve been right all along about wrestling.

Now that the TV Guide station is airing Curb Your Enthusiasm (funniest show ever) Wednesday and Thursday nights, Comcast cable subscribers can watch 10 episodes back to back On Demand.

You also can watch a bunch of episodes in their entirety at www.tvguide.com. There goes tonight.

That song in the terrific new Nike commercial for the NBA Finals — “A-B-C-D, can I bring my friend to tea …” That’s a Beatles song from Yellow Submarine.

Here’s one that surprised me.

If I had to guess which TV channel has the wealthiest viewers, I would have said the Bloomberg financial channel, C-SPAN, the Travel Channel, Fox Business News, History Channel, Fine Living or maybe PBS.

None of the above. The richest audience is tuned to the Tennis Channel.

According to Mendelsohn Media Research, the average Tennis Channel viewer’s household income is $233,000, and his average home value is $541,000.

That explains why Mercedes recently signed Roger Federer as its worldwide spokesperson. And why Tennis Channel has all those commercials for IBM, Capital One, Lacoste, ING and Pfizer.

With more than a third of the baseball season gone (so it’s no fluke sample), the rock star Houston Astros continue to be the hottest-drawing team … away from Minute Maid Park.

Through 30 road games, the Astros are averaging 36,169 fans per contest. This includes the 140,000 fans who watched them get swept in Yankee Stadium last weekend.

The Astros are more than 3,000 fans per game ahead of anybody else as a road attraction.

At home, the Astros are in the middle of the pack, averaging 26,635 fans per game — good for 15th place out of 30 teams.