MAKE!AMERICA!GREAT!AGAIN!

While many people talk a good MAGA talk, Fox News is walking the MAGA walk! The network just announced that from now on it will display stirring footage of a screeching bald eagle wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat in front of a billowing American flag in lieu of any negative coverage of President Trump.

MAGA!

Anytime a news story comes to light that would damage the President’s reputation, the patriots at Fox News will simply cut to the footage until the story blows over. Patriotic songs like “God Bless America,” “God Bless the USA,” and Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” will play in the background, allowing viewers to reflect on the greatness of America rather than dwell on negative news about Trump. The footage will play as long as is needed to obscure the bad news about the president.

Once the 24-hour news cycle has moved on to more positive stories about the leader of our nation, normal news coverage will resume, though Fox engineers will be ready to cut back to the glorious footage the moment the president says something asinine on Twitter, announces a terrible new trade policy, or has to deal with a fresh scandal.