(The caller puts her friend on the line. I get her contact info and add it to the ticket.)

Me: “Are there any access restrictions like dogs on the property, a locked fence, anything like that?”

Friend: “I think there might be zombies in the yard. Is that going to be a problem? I think she’s also got a vampire stalking her that might be in her yard.”

Me: “Don’t worry. Our techs have everything they need on their truck to handle anything. About the vampires: they should have some stakes and garlic on the truck, unless it’s a Twilight-type vampire in which case they have whiskey and a Motorhead CD just in case.”

(The caller and her friend start laughing even harder. I submit the appointment.)

Me: “Ma’am, I want to thank you both for choosing [Provider]. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow. On a side note, this call just made my night. Thanks, you two.”