Monday, January 26, 2009

MULTIPLE SPOUSES, UTAH - According to reports, the Mountain West Conference is looking to enter the big leagues and receive an automatic BCS bid for the conference champ in the future. I hate college football in general, and I hate the BCS, and I hate all of the teams in this miserable conference, but the more I think about it, they probably deserve the automatic bid. I mean, the ACC is garbage and produces a doormat for a BCS game each year, and the Big 10 seems to produce 5 or 6 of them...so why not let a team like Utah, or TCU have an automatic BCS bid? Is it because we need a terrible program like Wake Forest or Georgia Tech to get into the spotlight to get trampled by a national powerhouse? Do we hate mormons? Do we dislike programs that produce over-hyped, flop draft picks? Call me crazy..but I don't get it.

Since this will most likely be the only time I write about this useless sport, I feel that I should explain why I hate it so much: The Spread Offense. This pathetic style of offense has allowed teams with average quarterbacks and speedy receivers to flourish because the linebackers at this level simply aren't good enough to cover the entire field. Wide receiver screens, the zone read play, and the option simply don't work in the NFL... see Vince Young, Troy Smith, Tim Couch, Alex Smith, David Klinger, Andre Ware the list goes on and on(If any one of you ignorant bastards even mentions the words "Wildcat Formation" in a comment I will hunt you down). This causes guys like Joe Flacco, who have at least taken a snap from under center in their careers to come into the NFL and amaze us with their mediocrity. Name one fucking quarterback who came from a spread offense who's succeeded in the NFL...please...just one!

You know what does produce solid NFL players...the USC Trojans, one of the only programs in the nation who plays real football, and produces solid NFL prospects year in and year out. You don't see 5 wide receiver formations, bubble screens, and terribly overrated quarterbacks here. Instead, you see a group of dudes who get more beautiful ass than any other group in the nation from girls like THIS, and occasionally party too hard and lose one game each year to keep them out of the title game. Is there any fucking doubt that this was the best team in the country?

Instead, Florida wins another national title, and still hasn't produced a solid professional player since Fred Taylor. Gerard Warren, Chris Leak, Jarvis Moss, Chad Jackson... man these guys have really made the Gators proud. It's a disgrace to the sport that a team led by Chris Leak even won their conference, much less a title. That asshole didn't throw a pass farther than 10 yards in the air the entire title game, and yet due to the spread offense they were champions. I hope that stupid commercial about the NCAA where they talk about people going professional in something other than sports is true, because if you go to UF, you aren't doing shit in the pros.

The Most Insanely Idiotic Message Board Thread of the Week

"This may be outlandish but... as far as talent goes at the corner position we will be a little weak with the early departure of D.W. We don't have any great talents at corner. Small was a 5* CB as a recruit. What do you all think?"