25 Things I’ve Learned in 25 Years

My birthday was last week and it got me thinking about what I’ve learned in 25 years. A quarter of a century is a milestone for sure. In no particular order, here are 25 things I’ve learned in 25 years.

Goodell is a clown who should get fired

not to start my night with vodka red bulls, but I don’t let that stop me from doing so anyways

always continue watching Netflix after that screen pops up asking if you’re still watching, don’t let them tell you what to do

if coffee makes you jittery, switch to tea

Tom Brady is the GOAT and the only reason people don’t like him is because they’re jealous

not to unplug things using only one hand, causing you to electrocute yourself, also definitely don’t do this twice…

getting hit in the head with a soccer ball hurts pretty bad when you’re 5 and playing a kids vs. parents soccer game

some tv show pilot episodes are amazing, while others are terrible, but both could be equally spectacular shows

sometimes you just need to take a nap

as far as fashion sense goes, wear whatever you want, but also keep in mind that sometimes your friend knows best

be spontaneous every so often, some of the best memories come from just going with the flow and being open to new things

be friends with people who would do anything for you and vise versa

I’ve learned what it’s like to truly love a pet

there probably aren’t any swamp monsters in the goop at the bottom of lakes, but you can never be too careful

not to swing too hard at a piñata, I was at a birthday party when I was younger and I swung too hard and ended up splitting my knee open, I still have the scar

coffee is good hot and ice-cold, but if you let hot coffee get cold it’s gross

one time I got carded for trying to buy ginger beer, I told the lady she could see my ID, but that there was no alcohol in it and she proceeded to argue with me

it is possible to sprain your ankle by falling UP the stairs

don’t let anyone treat you badly, for any reason

the moon is really cool and if you don’t think so you should try staring at it until you agree that it’s actually really cool

sometimes your cab driver gets pulled over for speeding and gets a ticket

you can never have too many candles

I’ve learned that if your brother bothers a wasp and then hides behind a tree, the wasp might fly under your shirt and sting you a million times even though you did nothing wrong

even if you’re having the worst day ever, try to find one thing to smile about

I still haven’t decided if aliens are real or not, but I’m leaning towards yes