After nearly five years of marriage my wife and I had our first fight tonight.

Yep that’s right we had a fight…

Or should I say A BATTLE!!!!!

What I call “loaded updates” always used to make me laugh when I was on Facebook. You know the kind of facebook updates you see from time to time where they say things like “Oh my God I can’t believe what just happened” or “FML” etc etc. then you get all these people asking what’s wrong? PM me babe… Bla bla bla. Haha.

In honour of those attention seeking folks I thought I’d put up my own “loaded” title to grab your attention haha. It worked didn’t it?

Anyway enough of that nonsense onto what matters, the fight.

My long suffering wife is so good to me, so understanding, so patient, so supportive so I thought I’d push the relationship even more and asked if she wanted to have a game? I wasn’t surprised that she said yes, because she is so lovely, I was just super excited.

She said she’d even make a pot of tea for us to have while we battle it out. A good woman I have there guys, I’m telling you.

I decided it’d be baddie against baddie for a change. I often play as IG but because I’ve grown rather fond of the darker forces I decided Chaos would be my battle brethren for this little scrap. Plus I am pleased with how they’ve turned out on a hobby level and wanted to see them on the field again. This, not too big, expeditionary force is lead by Commander KazGor.

My wife, Let’s call her General Bloodfield, would be overseer of the Ork Horde called the Blud Lettas.

The place: Kredlin XXII – an Ork occupied moon rich in lead and Coal.

The mission: First contact.

The story: The Brotherhood of Disorder urgently needed Cole to fuel their warped War Machines. While scouting they discovered a small Ork moon and thought how easy it would be to bleed this place dry of what they needed. They landed on the moon without hindrance. They disembarked and began marching to where their monitors directed them. Large deposits of Coal were only a few clicks away from their landing zone. What they found was a small force of Ork warriors willing to do all it took to protect their precious Coal mine.

Well, what I thought would be a nice clean frontal attack from my Chaos Warband on a well defended Ork position turned into quite the opposite.

My wife, General Bloodfield, counter assaulted from the word go! She used her fast Attack vehicle and brought in a total of eight Ork warriors very quickly right into the bulk of my attacking central column.

The Orks clamoured out of the truck and unleashed hell. They landed shot after shot and then when it came to hand to hand combat their prowess easily outweighed that of the Brotherhood.

Meanwhile Chaos terminators moved up the right flank with an Ork Tank in their sights. They fired but their shots bounced off the crude but effective armour of the looted tank.

The tactic with the fast attack vehicle from the Blud Lettas set the pattern for the next attack. The truck reversed out of the bloody mess it had helped cause. It then reloaded the cargo tray with more green warriors and sped off to the right flank to take on another unit of Chaos Marines. This Attack was nearly as successful as the first. One lowly Ork grunt took out a grand total of three Chaos Marines with his battle axe. (What the shit?) Thankfully the same Ork was shot dead quickly after his rampage.

It was time for some pay back. The chaos unit to be attacked in the second run of the truck fought back hard and took out every Ork around them before charging into the shanty type coal mine. They stalked, hunted and killed every Ork they came across. Four marines saw the Ork Warboss down an alley way and went after him. They inflicted several deep wounds on his thick green Hyde but the Warboss held his ground and killed all four marines starting with their Sergeant with his chainsword.

A handful of Chaos Champions and Commanders pushed through the weak central lines of the Ork army. They took out a couple of grunts but were then caught by surprise as several more green warriors came at them from their left flank. More vicious hand to hand battle took place and the Chaos marines just scraped through with their lives.

A single shot rang out from behind them and one of their heads blew apart. The others cried out in anger and opened fire as one on the offending Ork ripping him apart.

The Ork Tank opened fire and shot well with its twin canons. It’s very first shot took out Commander KazGor which was an absolute shock to both sides of the fight.

After a few moments to collect themselves the Chaos marines pushed harder. Finally luck was on their side and they started to drop Ork after Ork. The Terminators moved up close to the Ork Tank and fired. They landed four good shots on the metal monster and finally caused significant damage but not quite enough. The tank fired back and killed a Chaos Captain. The terminators attempted to use their chainswords and power weapons to hack into the armour of the tank but again they all failed. The tank fired again and killed two marines. The terminators fired one more time at the tank and finally took it out! With a huge sigh of relief the Chaos Warband mopped up the last couple of Ork warriors before claiming victory as theirs.

The cockiness of the Brotherhood of Disorder was almost their undoing. They expected the Ork horde to cower at the mere sight of them but this wasn’t the case at all. The Orks were not veterans to battle but they fought like tactical wizards. The two fast attacks shook the Chaos marines to the core and if it wasn’t for their experience they would have crumbled. They dug deep and and went in for revenge which definitely helped them win the day and save face.

It was a good straight up fight and I was super proud of my wife. She did well, very well for her first time and I am really hoping it won’t be the last time we play haha.

Stand out moments for me were definitely the two successful fast attacks from the Orks. Also when the Ork Warboss took out four chaos marines was pretty cool.

Lucky. I gave up trying to get my wife to play. She did paint a Space Marine once. It took her a long time and lost interest. I told her the first model takes longer than normal since she was trying to figure out her colours but it wasn’t enough to convince her.

Great stuff mate – though I was concerned initially since I misread it as “fist fight” at first. Looks like a lot of fun was had, and the table and models both look amazing.

If you’re after some other suggestions for excellent wife and kids-friendly games, check out Star Wars X-Wing and Zombicide (regular or Black Plague – or both!). Both are “Proper” games but both are accessible enough for both hardcore gamers and those who are usually non-gamers (including kids). The Zombicide games are also cooperative, so that’s an additional bonus. You and the others against the game.