A good-looking workout instructor can be an amazing point of inspiration. It can also lead to extreme embarrassment.

One of my favorite spin instructors is one of those people who is so attractive in that in-your-face-masculine kind of way that it makes you uncomfortable. Like, I can barely make eye contact and immediately regret the vegan chocolate chip cookie I ate yesterday uncomfortable.

Especially at 6:45 in the morning. (Or 2p on a Saturday, which sometimes may as well be 6:45am.)

After a series of events, including, but not limited to:

Taking ten minutes to clip in

Being unable to clap to the beat (I know I’m really white, but I can usually manage a simple hand clap exercise)

Holding my breath, looking down and swallowing really hard when he was in close proximity to my bike

Talking and laughing with people at the front desk, until he appeared and things suddenly weren’t funny anymore, my eyes shifted to the side and down and my feet shuffled slightly, while I sort of bit the inside of my lip

Pure avoidance of any form of interaction, obviously peppered with creepy over-staring

…I decided I needed to reclaim at least a single shred of my dignity.

The following Tuesday, I came into class well-rested, made an appropriate amount of eye contact, focused on my workout, and even managed a few words of conversation. In short, I almost acted like a normal person.

Great success!

…

And then I turned around and walked into the door. Literally.

…

Needless to say, I did not look back. Just. Keep. Going.

This morning, I received this text from a friend of mine:

"Just had the MOST embarrassing interaction with Jacob* at spin. It really pales in comparison to your walking into walls! Lol"

*names have been changed to protect my ego

I’m assuming she intended that to be vice-versa. Also, in case you are curious, this is not just a female thing. My male friends have echoed similar statements in regard to his general physique.

Dear Jacob*,

Please be a little less hot, for the sake of all of us. Or at least for the sake of our pride slash dignity.