He’s afraid of drinking, make sure he loses the next election

General practitioner (GP): I would like to consult with you eminent specialists to help a patient from Bihar suffering from a terrible disease. He hates the sight of alcohol.

Medical specialist (MS): Many people don’t like drinking.

GP: Oh, but not only does this patient dislike booze, he wants to stop everybody else drinking too. He arrests the whole family if booze is found in the house. And he levies collective fines on entire villages if he finds even a single bottle of liquor.

Psychiatrist: He could be afflicted by gynophobia, or the fear of women.

GP: I think he just wants to be liked by them.

Asylum boss: He appears to be consumed by feelings of inadequacy, always on the lookout for approval, an obvious inferiority complex.

Neurologist: In my opinion, he’s delusional and has a God or Messiah complex.

Psychologist: I detect traces of a neurotic syndrome, a fear of failure.

Psychiatrist: Yes, that could be the reason why he is overcompensating.

Asylum boss: And his need to do something for women stems from a deep-seated repressed sub-conscious desire to show off to his mother.

Neurologist: That’s very Freudian, I would say even Jungian.

GP: Oh I forgot, drinking toddy is okay with the patient, because he doesn’t want to displease the toddy tapper caste.

Asylum boss: My diagnosis is he’s a casteist paranoid schizophrenic dipsophobic with a Messiah complex and a Jungian neurosis.

MS: Sounds like he’s suffering from a bad case of politics to me.

GP: Eh?

MS: This fellow is a politician, right? Politics is derived from the Greek word ‘poly’ meaning many and ‘ticks’, which are bloodsucking insects. As long as the patient stays in politics, he will remain infected.