If we were to choose a return to The Sopranos, it might go something like this: A few years after the finale, in New Jersey (of course), AJ has become the new blight on Tony's life; Dr. Melfi has justified taking Tony back as a client as he deals with his ever-mounting mortality; and Meadow is an informant for the FBI, which is closing in on Tony's world. All of which is to say, you don't always get what you want.

Instead, The Sopranos redux will be ... Nicky Deuce, a Nickelodeon TV movie/questionable afterschool special based on a book co-written by Bobby Bacala himself, Steve Schirripa, and featuring James Gandolfini, Michael Imperioli, and Tony Sirico. The film is about a sheltered teen who visits his Italian-American uncle (Schirripa) in Brooklyn and incorrectly assumes he's connected to the mafia. As it's impossible to imagine this — or, for that matter, David Chase's upcoming 1960s-set movie, Not Fade Away — will fulfill any pangs of actual Sopranos withdrawal, we'll go ahead and continue imagining our own version. [Deadline]