Going deeper

The other day I was watching a friend of mine and her children swimming. Her son is only 2 years old but he swims like a fish in the shallow end. We were encouraging him to jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool but he thought that might be a little scary. As I was watching this scene play out I thought to myself, this is like our faith so many times. We in our humanness want to work our way in to the deep end of our relationship with Christ but He is calling us just to dive in, to go deeper. God is calling my husband Micah and I to dive into the deep end of our faith and to completely trust that He is in control. We are beginning the adoption process!

A little back story of how we got here:

Almost 5 years ago we decided that it would be a good time to begin trying to conceive a child. I don’t know if you know this but you can’t just decide that and expect that it’s going to happen! We just thought that we would say that out loud, begin trying and BAM be prego. This was not the case! During the past 5 years there have been many ups and downs, doctors appointments, medications and disappointments. These were some of the darkest days I have ever experienced. There were so many days and nights that I would just question God. I didn’t understand why He would tell me that He wanted to give me the desires of my heart and then withhold this one thing that I wanted desperately. I would often hear Him say, just wait it’s not time yet. I have experienced so many emotions from anger, disappointment, fear, hopelessness, did I mention anger. I can’t tell you how many times I would say, “why do they get to have a baby and I can’t?” Suddenly I thought I had the right to decide who could be fertile and who couldn’t! There were so many days when I didn’t want to seek His face because I was angry with Him but He would nudge me and I would read His word. One day He led me to James chapter 1. The first part of this chapter talks about “counting it all joy when you face trials” we are to consider it like a gift that leads to perseverance. Of course I had read this chapter many times before but it was very real to me this particular day. I came to the end of the chapter, verse 27 to be more specific. Tucked in the very end of this chapter is an open window into the deepest part of the heart of Jesus and this would forever change my heart. James 1:27 “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” Suddenly I felt the Lord speak to my heart and say, this is where I am leading you. To care for the least of these. To be a mommy and a daddy to children that have nothing and no one!

It was during this time that Micah’s uncle Danny had passed away. Danny was and is a very special man in mine and Micah’s life. I kept thinking of some way we could use his name for our children one day. I decided that if we had a girl we would name her Danny Rae. Every time I would think of this name in my head I would envision a little chinese baby girl with wild hair! At this point I had not shared with Micah all the things I felt that God had been showing me. In November of 2010 he took me on a date to a japanese steak house and on the way I told him everything. I told him that God was calling us to adopt and that we were going to have a little china doll named Danny Rae. He was a little taken back but agreed that God was definitely calling us to do this. Wouldn’t you know it that when we got to our table and sat down our waiter came up and his name was Danny! We just looked at each other and laughed because we knew that God was confirming in our hearts together what He had shared with me in secret!

So here we are many months later finally ready to begin this journey! We are inviting you to be a part of this journey with us. Most of all we need your support through prayer. We are in the beginning stages of this very long, expensive and intense process and we will need strength and wisdom to endure each step. It costs roughly $35,000 to adopt from China. Our minds were blown when we saw this figure but we know that it is nothing for our God. We are asking Him to show up and show out! He knows what we need before we do! We will be doing fundraisers throughout this process and we hope you can be a part of that with us. We give all the glory in advance to the name of Jesus Christ! He alone is worthy of our praise! We love you all and thank you for your support, love and prayers!

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Responses

Brandi, I am wiping tears from my eyes. Thank you for sharing. I love that you would want to name your child Danny. I will be lifting you and Micah in prayer each time I pray. I am claiming that the desires of your heart are met in Jesus’ name. Love you both very much.

Brandi, you should be a writer. You did an excellent job of sharing your story. I read it to Paul. We will be praying for God’s will & that He will guide you both through this process. We love you & look forward to the grand baby you are going to give us.

Hey, Brandi I agree with Mrs.Cimdy you did a great job on tell your story, and how God is showed you what needed to be done. I also wanted to apologize because If I would have known all this I wouldnt have told you and micah I was having a child because I know you probable felt upset and Im sorry about that but I thank God that he is doing what he is going to do in yalls lives. Yall are going to be great parents. I love yall and I look forward to the future,.:) God Bless

Brandi & Micah, thank you for inviting us to be part of your journey of faith in this area of your lives. That which we cannot yet see is His hope that abides in us, and HIS hope does not disappoint. We are with you. Love you.

Brandi, Eddie and I have felt the same feelings you and Micah are feeling and went thru alot of the same wonders and whys but thru faith and prayer we accepted what God had in plan for us. With that we found contentment in the fact we could never conceive and trusted in the Lord to guide us and direct us to do his will and we have been very important to a lot of little ones that have needed our love and guidance, and for that I am so thankful. We wondered when you were conceived why not us? And then Wesley came along to and Eddie and I loved yall so much and were so proud for your mom and dad. When Billy was in the nursery counting Wesleys toes, even though I seen a tear run down Eddies face, it was a very happy and thankful tear to see his brother become a father for the second time.
We have had and are still having a very blessed and fulfilled life together with all the little ones we have inspired and given a Godly home to. I hope my words have given you some comfort in knowing that someone else knows the feelings you have had but with God life is so fulfulling. We quit asking why and just started thanking God for our blessings. Please remember me in prayer, my dad isnt doing well and I have had to put him the nursing home and I know this was for the best yet I cant stop crying. The devil wants to steal my joy but with faith and prayer he shall never succeed! Love you!

Hi Guys, I know it has been a long time since we have heard from each other but our hearts will never forget the precious people you are and how your desire to serve the Lord is such a blessing to all. My Abby will still ask every now and then now who were those people I used to go spend the night with that had the dogs. So funny all the things they remember. You will truly be a blessing to one of God’s sweetest blessings one day. We will pray with you as you embark upon this journey.

Angel, so good to hear from you!! Sorry it’s taking me so long to reply! I’m still trying to figure out all this blog stuff!! Hope you guys are doing well! Love and hugs to Abby!!! Thank you for your prayers!

Brandi,
I’ve not met you, but I know Cindy and Paul…and of course, Micah! I can’t tell you how much your story and God’s revelations to you mirror those that we experienced in our adoption process. Almost 4 years ago, our precious daughter, Mary Kathryn, passed away at her onset event of Type 1 diabetes. Through our horrible ordeal, God was my constant companion in a way that I had never felt before. I became acquainted with the dark side of Christianity..the side we don’t see when we sign up. The side that says, if we want to be like Christ, we have to embrace both sides of His life. What else could it mean when the scripture talks about, “the fellowship of His suffering”? How could we enter that fellowship apart from His suffering? How could we know the man of sorrows acquainted with grief if we had not known grief and sorrow? And we did. Through many signs (too many to innumerate in this short post) God showed us the way into and through the adoption process, complete with spiritual visitations by my daughter, culminating in this last visit: Dec 18, 2010 “I had a dream…

last night with Mary Kathryn in it. Basically, she was bringing me a
message in the form of scripture.

I was dreaming that I was in my classroom at school and Mary Kathryn
entered the room and walked directly over to me. I hugged her, but she
didn’t want to discuss her happiness or anything else. She just spoke,
Psalms 113 and as soon as she said it, it was like I could visualize the
word “Psalms 113” in my mind. Very vividly. However, I wanted to argue
with her about what I had seen and I wanted to believe that the book was
actually Psalm 118, because her birth date was an 18th and I was wanting this message to somehow be about “her”. But she was firm and insistent on 113 and then she was gone.

This morning when I got up (yes, I’m lazy and didn’t get up immediately
after the dream to check, mostly because I knew there would be no way I
would forget what she had said) I got my bible and immediately looked up
Psalm 118…(yep, I was sure that was actually where the message was,
because “I” wanted it to somehow be relevant to Mary Kathryn) but sure
enough, there was no message there for me. I then acquiesced to do what she had told me (I’ve never been one to do what my kids “order” me to do) and looked up Psalms 113. My message was there in the last verse:
“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.”

God is so good! He knows our hearts and even though we believe, we are prone to doubt. Especially when things don’t happen in “our”
timetable. I have been so anxious, that God would give us a child soon
and things just seem to drag out. I guess it doesn’t help when Alex and
Patrick ask me on a weekly basis, “When are we going to get our new
sister?”. I always respond, “It takes a while…be patient.” God knows
that I’m certainly not patient, He must be trying to do a work in me as
well! But, thankfully, while we’re being tested, He still gives us a
glimpse of His glory as He did for me last night with the help of Mary
Kathryn.
Our adoptive daughter was 3 yrs 3 months and 3 days old when she came to live with us on Good Friday, April 22nd, 2011. Coincidence? I think not! She was baptized with her new name, Charity Grace on Sunday, April 22nd, 2012. exactly one year to the day that she came to live with us. Isn’t it awesome that 2012 is a leap year which made it possible for her to be baptized on a Sunday during worship services for her birthday into our family…otherwise the 22nd would have been on Saturday. Again, coincidence? I think not! As I said…I have so many similar stories about our adoption story…too many to share here, but each as amazing as this. Take heart!

All of this to say, I am sure God has a plan for you and Micah as well..and for that precious child that will one day soon, join your family!

Looking back on these old post before you even know about the beautiful girl that you have now, it amazes me the faith you have in God. Even in the times you didn’t know his plan you still believed and listened. Thank you for sharing your story I absolutely love reading these and seeing new pictures!!