Reviewing Random Films For Fun

May 31, 2015

1974’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre #MovieReview

Film 193 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1974’s “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. This Tobe Hooper horror film follows a group of friends who fall victim to a family of cannibals while on their way to visit an old homestead. And once again I watch another horror film and wasn’t scared throughout. However, the last 20 or so minutes really is make me feel like I was on an acid trip. That scene made me hooked on the edge of my seat waiting for them to kill Sally. But they don’t and she escapes. Something I saw coming from a mile away and probably ruined my overall thoughts on the film. Is there actually a horror film where the villain is the only one left? If so, let me know in the comments. Overall, this film wasn’t bad. There are a few things I thought were bad. One of them is the acting. None of these actors really did a good job. Sally’s screaming got to the point where it gave me a headache and lead to me rooting in on the bad guys because I wanted to see her die. I actually looked up each actor to see if they have done anything since this. Marilyn Burns (who played Sally) made her acting debut here and would go on to star in 1977’s “Death Trap” and the 2013 “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D”. Allen Danzinger (who played Jerry) hasn’t done anything since this film was released. Paul A. Partain (who played Franklin) hasn’t done anything big. His last film was 1997’s “Burying Lana”. William Vail (who played Kirk) has moved on from acting to build sets for films that go straight to TV. And the last of the heroes, Teri McMinn (who played Pam) also made her acting debut here and wouldn’t act in anything until 2009’s “The Cellar” which is a film about young adult being forced to hire old people to run a clothes shop. One last actor who I will talk about is Gunnar Hansen (who played Leatherface). He too made his acting debut here and hasn’t done anything noteworthy. He did star in 1988’s “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers”. The title alone makes me want to watch it. In 2012, Time Out London had this to say about the film, “There are horror films which… deal with the psychological, the suggested… and then there are the shear, in-your-face, terrifying horrors which threaten to drain your body of sweat and lock your jaw shut forever. This is one of the latter.” Fun Fact of the Film – Tobe Hooper hoped to get a PG rating for the film by keeping most of the violence implied offscreen. I can understand why the director would make that decision but, personally, I would have liked to have seen everyone get carved up. Fun Fact of the Film 2 – Although it was marketed as a true story to attract a wider audience and as a subtle commentary on the era’s political climate, it’s plot is entirely fictional; however, the character of Leatherface and minor plot details were inspired by the crimes of real-life murderer Ed Gein. If you have seen this film, or the sequels, or the remakes, then let me know what you thought of them in the comments. Here Is what I had to say while watching 1974’s “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”

Film – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Year – 1974
Director – Tobe Hooper
Written by – Tobe Hooper, Kim Henkel
Staring – Marilyn Burns, Edwin Neal, Allen Danziger
IMDb Rating – 7.5/10
My Rating – 7/10
Length – 80 min (1h 20min)
Genre – Horror
Probably not a good idea to watch this before bed
It’s August 1973 and all we can hear is the sound of someone shovelling
Stop blinding me with flashing images!
Someone’s been grave robbing
You can tell this is a horror film because EVERYTHING IS RED!!!
Anyone for roadkill?
Don’t mind us! Just helping Franklin pee into a can
A group of hippies travel to a graveyard to see if their grandfather has been dug up and stolen
A drunk man rambles on about something
Turns out their grandfather hasn’t been dug up
Shall we visit a slaugherhouse? No? OK
“People shouldn’t kill animals for food”
They decide to pick up a hitchhiker with a giant red mark on his face
Franklin looks like Billy from YouTube’s KickTV
Wanna see my photos of slaughtered animals ready for market?
Hitchhiker gets very excited when he sees a knife
So much he sliced his hand open and laughs before returning the knife to Franklin
Wanna see my knife? No? OK
I know I’m bleeding everywhere but can I take a photo of you?
What is “head cheese”?
At this point wouldn’t you throw the hitchhiker out of the car at this point?
Hitchhiker decides to burn the photo before slicing Franklin’s arm
They eventually kick Hitchhiker out but not before he bleeds all over the van… which quickly disappears 5 seconds later
Who cares that my friend is bleeding when I’m busy reading astrology magazines?
What gas station has no gas?
The hippies are looking for Franklin’s Dad’s house
We have no gas right now… but we do have free BBQ
Don’t you hate it when the vending machine takes your money then your item gets stuck in the machine
The blood on the van is back! Continuety error
They eventually find the house they were looking for
So.. The blood marks on the van are warning sign?!?
SPIDERS!!!
Wheelchairs are really designed for outdoors/nature
Don’t you hate it when your friends are having all the fun and you’re left all alone
I will taunt you by blowing raspberries
Franklin discovers a figure being hung from the ceiling and calls for Sally
Two of the hippies are running through the fields to find Franklin’s old playing area
Eventually they discover a lot of VW Beetles hidden under some tarp
I can’t hear you over the loud machine
Clearly no one is home if the house looks battered
33 minutes in and I’m bored
There’s a strange room with skulls in it – It’s making noises
LEATHERFACE!!!! About time
Kurt is attacked and taken away
Her shorts are so short I can see her ass
That is a room covered in chicken feathers!
Who keeps chickens caged?
Leatherface is an architect – He built a sofa out of skulls and bones
Leatherface has the Kurt’s girlfriend!
CHAINSAW!!!!
Don’t mind if I cut your boyfriend to bits in front of you?
Back to the others who are arguing about where Franklin’s knife is
Also, it’s taken me 40 minutes to finally know the driver’s name – It’s Jerry
Jerry decides to look for Kurt and the girl
Franklin and Sally talk about astrology
Jerry eventually finds the house hears laughing from Pam
Also, 43 minutes to know Kurt’s girlfriend’s name – It’s Pam
Jerry finds Leatherface’s room to finds Pam in a freezer
LEATHERFACE!!! He’s killed Jerry with an axe to the head
Don’t fall asleep on the car horn!
Sally suggest she and Franklin look for everyone… by shouting for just Jerry
We’ll give them 60 seconds after sounding the horn
Sally and Franklin decide to look for the others leaving the van door open knowing Jerry has the keys
Eventually after lots of shouting they find Leatherface’s house
Again, wheelchairs aren’t designed to be used in nature
LEATHERFACE!!! He just shoved his chainsaw through Franklin’s chest while Sally watched
That chainsaw must be weak if it can’t cut a twig
For a fat man, Leatherface can run quickly
Sally is doing a really bad job of acting scared
I am now safe… Inside the bad guy’s house
Hello Leather Mom and Leather Dad
Heeerrrreee’s Leatherface
One twig managed to knock Sally to the floor
She ran all the way to the gas station
Is the gas station clerk cooking bones?
The gas station clerk beats up Sally… with a mop
Sally is knocked out and is being tied up and gagged before being shoved into a potato sack
Who knew mops were deadly weapons?
Is he stabbing her with the broken mop handle?
It’s the hitchhiker!
Are he and the gas station clerk in on the plan?
They drive to Leatherface’s house and take her to Leatherface
I know we planned for you to kill everyone… but it wasn’t planned for you to saw the door to pieces
This is slowly turning the start of torture porn
Better get Leather Dad and show him what’s going to happen
Let’s start by letting Leather Dad suck on Sally’s blood
Wait… Leather Dad is alive?!?!?
Time passes and Sally wakes up at the dinner table with everyone having sausage
Did they make a lamp out of a skull?
I feel like I just took a lot of LSD as I’m tripping out!
This is one disfunctional family
Let’s make Leather Dad kill Sally
Why would you cut Sally’s straps? You have pretty much freed her
Leather Dad seems to have a problem holding onto a hammer
Sally is free! Who would have predicted that?
Just kill her already!
And Hitchhiker is dead after being ran over by a truck driver
Truck Driver saves Sally but doesn’t drive off
Instead he throws a wrench at Leatherface
Truck Driver runs away while Sally leaves with another hitchhiker and starts laughing
Leatherface celebrates by dancing with his chainsaw in the sun
THE END