Bob Okay, good day, this is our Christmas part of the album, and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do.
Doug Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part!
Bob Oh, I guarantee ya, you'd be on. Okay, so, good day, this is the Christmas part, and, we're gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.
Doug Look out the window!
Bob Where?! Whadda ya doing?
Doug Snow, hosehead.
Bob Wha? Oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing, cause it's Christmas time. Hey, hoser!
Doug What?
Bob Here's a quiz. Quiz for Doug.
Doug Okay, I have my thinking touque on.
Bob Yeah, right. What are the twelve days of Christmas? Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?
Doug Uh, the 25th.
Bob Right, and what's the 24th, Christmas Eve, right? So, that's two. And then, what's after that?
Doug Um... Uh, Wrestling Day.
Bob No. Get out.
Doug Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
Bob That's three. Then what's after that? Nothing.
Doug New Year's.
Bob Four. And what's...
Doug New Year's Eve.
Bob Five. Where do you get twelve?
Doug Uh... There's two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that's four. That's nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days.
(Music starts.)
Bob Okay now. This is our Christmas song, in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.
Doug There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.
Bob Okay.
Doug By the way, that's me on the organ.
Bob Aw, geez.
Doug You start.
Bob Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a beer.
Doug On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer. (Okay...)
Doug There should be more there, eh?
Bob Where? On the... go.
Doug Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer.
Doug In a tree. See, you need more.
Bob Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer, what was it?
Together In a tree!
Bob Okay, on the sixth... go.
Doug Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
Bob & BG Singers Five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer,
Together In a tree!
Bob Okay.
Doug Okay.
Bob On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
Doug (Nice gift...) Oh, six packs of two-four! (BG Singers also sing "nice gift".)
Bob & BG Singers Five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer,
Together In a tree!
Bob Right, I keep forgetting.
Doug Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas, it's too hard for us!
Bob Um...
Doug Go, hoser.
Bob Oh.
Together Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Doug Eight comic books,
All Seven packs of smokes, six packs of two-four,
(Bob and Doug become unsynchronized with the BG Singers, and quit singing.)
BG Singers Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks,
All And a beer,
Doug On my tree!
Bob Yeah. That beer's empty. Okay. Day,
BG Singers Twelve!
Bob Uh, twelve.
Doug Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
BG Singers Five golden touques!
All Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer, in a tree!
Bob Beauty, eh?
Doug Where'd you learn to do that?
Bob Uh, albums.
Doug Boy. So, like, that's our song, Merry Christmas...
Bob Merry Christmas!
Doug And good day!
Bob Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too. Sheesh. Okay, you know what you left out?
Doug What?
Bob Donuts - I told you to get me donuts! Either on the ninth day or the tenth day, or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!
Doug Okay, the song's over.
Bob But I want...
Doug Merry Christmas, everybody!
Bob Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.
Doug So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.
Bob You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop, where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.
Doug Well, next Christmas, I'll get me a chainsaw...
Bob Take off!
Doug Boy, that song was a beauty. It moved me...
Bob Yeah, I think it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven...
Doug Wha-?

Waiting here on line
Suddenly from behind
She's still a block away
Why'd it have to be today
Now what do I see
She recognizes me
She hugs and squeezes me
She's the Spandex Enormity

She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat
Then she yells is this trick or treat
It's too late she asks me for a date
Before I'd fuck I'd rather masturbate
Spandex, Spandex Enormity
A beast sent from Hell to plague me with misery

What a fucking beast
Her ass alone would be a feast
And her love drippings
Contained a stench of rotted yeast
The show must go on
It's the end of me
Taking up the whole front row
It's the Spandex Enormity

She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat
Then she yells is this trick or treat
It's too late she asks me for a date
Before I'd fuck I'd rather masturbate
Spandex, Spandex Enormity
A beast sent from hell to plague me with misery

As we were walking off stage
You're waiting to come back
She's got a back stage pass
Oh no
I hide my head
The sight of you I dread
Her chubby little fingers grab my ass
Don't talk to me, talk to Nick, talk to Nick
Why does it always have to be me
You fucking fat bitch
I've had enough of you
Take your blubber buns and leave
She left here in tears
Followed by her rear
I could not help she's fat

She's so sweet when she's yanking on my meat
Then she yells is this trick or treat
It's too late she asks me for a date
Before I'd fuck I'd rather masturbate
Spandex, Spandex Enormity
A beast sent from Hell to plague me with misery

Two oclock this morning
If she should come a calling
I couldnt dream of turning her away
And if it got hot and hectic
I know shed be electric
Id let her take her chances with me
You see, the gets what she wants

Cant you see her standing there
See how she looks, see how she cares
I let her steal the night away from me
Nine oclock this morning
She left without a warning
I let her take advantage of me
You see, she got what she wanted

Shady, Aftermath
There she goes shaking that ass on the floor
Bumpin and grindin that pole
The way she's grindin that pole
I think I'm losing control

Get buzzed, get drunk, get crunked, get fucked up
Hit the strip club don't forget ones get your dick rubbed
Get fucked, get sucked, get wasted, shit faceted
Pasted, blasted, puke drink up, get a new drink
Hit the bathroom sink, throw up
Wipe your shoe clean, got a routine
Knowin still got a few chunks on your shoestring
Showin I was dehydrated till the beat vibrated
I was revibed as soon as this Bitch gyrated
And hips and licked them lips and that was it
I had to get Nate Dogg here to sing some shit

[ Nate Dogg ]

Two to the one from the one to the three
I like good pussy and I like good trees
Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe
And I get more ass than a toilet seat
Three to the one from the one to the three
I met a bad bitch last night in the D
Let me tell you how I made her leave with me
Conversation and Hennessey
I've been to the muthafuckin mountain top
Heard muthafuckers talk, seen 'em drop
If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock
And when I bust yo ass I'm gonna continue to rock
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet
It's real easy just follow the beat
Don't let that fine girl pass you by
Look real close cause strobe lights lie

We bout to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (Go head shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be givin it up

Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass with me, shake that ass with me

[ Eminem ]

I'm a menace, a dentist, an oral hygienist
Open your mouth for about four or five minutes
Take a little bit of this fluoride rinse
Swish but don't spit it, swallow and I'll finish
Yeah me and Nate d-o double g
Looking for a couple bitches with some double Ds
Pop a little champagne and a couple E's
Slip it in her bubbuly, we finna finna have a party

[ Nate Dogg ]

Have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (Go head shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl I can fuck in my hummer truck
Apple Bottom jeans and a big Ol' slut
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I want a bitch that sit at the crib with no panties on
Knows that she can but she won't say no
Now look at this lady all in front of me, sexy as can be
Tonight I want a slut, would you be mine?
I heard you was freaky from a friend of mine

[ Eminem ]

Now I hope you don't get mad at me
But I told Nate you was a freak
He said he wants a slut, hope you don't mind
I told him how you like it from behind

[ Nate Dogg ]

Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Cmon girl, shake that ass with me, shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass with me, shake that ass for me
Cmon girl, shake that ass with me, shake that ass with me

We bout' to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (go ahead shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be givin it up

[ Eminem ]

There she goes, shaking that ass on the floor
Bumpin and grindin that pole
The way she's grindin that pole
I think I'm losing control

God, come one

I ain't leavin' without you bitch
Coming home with me
And my boy, and his boy, and his boy, and his girl
haha, Nate Dogg

[font="Arial Black"][color="White"]"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

I was adding some photos to my photo site and this song came on just as I was adding a photo of a friend and musician that we all lost. . the hardest photo shoot I have ever done. . .

Who Wants To Live Forever
by Queen

Theres no time for us
Theres no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away
From us

Who wants to live forever
Who wants to live forever....?

Theres no chance for us
Its all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us

Who wants to live forever
Who wants to live forever?

Who dares to love forever?
When love must die

But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today
Who wants to live forever
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today

Who waits forever anyway?

[font="Arial Black"][color="White"]"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

What are these transmissions? Some sort of misconception.
I'm hearing voices but I can't tell it's you on the line.
Can you hear me? Or have I gone too far?
I've just connected... 3, 2, 1, transmission is done.

The pieces of my heart.
Yeah, they slowly break away.
And they crash into the ocean
As I feel you drift away.

To live in this condition. We've miscommunicated.
You're breaking up but I'm doing everything that I can.
Can you hear me? Or have I gone too far?
I've disconnected... 3, 2, 1, transmission is done.

The pieces of my heart.
Yeah, they slowly break away.
And they crash into the ocean
As I feel you drift away.

When the tribe turns its back on you, you will fight until you die.
And the pieces of my/ yeah, they fall to the floor.
I'm disconnected. I'm disconnected.

The pieces of my heart.
Yeah, they slowly break away.
And they crash into the ocean
As I feel you drift away. (x2)

I read the news today oh, boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
if he was from the House of Lords

I saw a film today oh, boy
The English army had just won the war
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
Having read the book
I love to turn you on.

Woke up, got out of bed
dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
and looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
Ah

I read the news today oh, boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes
it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn you on

Got out of town on a boat
Goin' to Southern islands.
Sailing a reach
Before a followin' sea.
She was makin' for the trades
On the outside,
And the downhill run
To Papeete.

Off the wind on this heading
Lie the Marquesas.
We got eighty feet of the waterline.
Nicely making way.
In a noisy bar in Avalon
I tried to call you.
But on a midnight watch I realized
Why twice you ran away.

Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.

I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.

When you see the Southern Cross
For the first time
You understand now
Why you came this way
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from
Is so small.
But it's as big as the promise
The promise of a comin' day.

So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you
Tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have leftAnd music is her name.

Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.

I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.

So we cheated and we lied
And we tested
And we never failed to fail
It was the easiest thing to do.
You will survive being bested.
Somebody fine
Will come along
Make me forget about loving you.
And the Southern Cross.

[font="Arial Black"][color="White"]"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

Just saw the video of this on VH1 Classic's Metal Mania. I LOVE the lyrics to this song....

God Gave Rock 'N' Roll To You II
by KISS

God gave rock and roll to you,
gave rock and roll to you
Put it in the soul of everyone

Do you know what you want? You don't know for sure
You don't feel right, you can't find a cure
And you're gettin' less than what you're lookin' for

You don't have money or a fancy car
And you're tired of wishin' on a falling star
You gotta put your faith in a loud guitar

God gave rock and roll to you,
gave rock and roll to you
Gave rock and roll to everyone (oh yeah)
God gave rock and roll to you,
gave rock and roll to you
Put it in the soul of everyone

"Now listen"
If you wanna be a singer, or play guitar
Man, you gotta sweat or you won't get far
Cause it's never too late to work nine-to-five
You can take a stand, or you can compromise
You can work real hard or just fantasize
But you don't start livin' till you realize -
"I gotta tell ya!"

God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you
Gave rock and roll to everyone
God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you
Put it in the soul

God gave rock and roll to you
(to everyone he gave the song to be sung)
Gave rock and roll to you,
gave rock and roll to everyone
God gave rock and roll to you
(to everyone he gave the song to be sung)
Gave rock and roll to you,
saved rock and roll for everyone
Saved rock and roll
chorus repeats out...

"I know life sometimes can get tough!
And I know life sometimes can be a drag!
But people, we have been given a gift,
we have been given a road
And that road's name is... Rock and Roll!"

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you
Now you got someone to blame

You say
One love
One life
When its one need
In the night
Its one love
We get to share it
It leaves you baby
If you dont care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without

Well its too late
Tonight
To drag tha past out
Into the light
Were one
But were not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come tor raise the dead
Havew you come here to play jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now its all I got
Were one
But were not the same
We hurt each other
Then we do it again

You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I cant be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should

One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers

One life
But were not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other

One

One.

[font="Arial Black"][color="White"]"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

Theres a change in pace
Of fantasy and taste
Do you like good music?
Do you like to dance? oh yeah.
Hangin out for a body shop at night
Aint it strange what we do to feel alright? oh yeah.
So when will you call?
Im experienced oh yeah

Face to face
And back to back
You see and feel
My sex attack
Sing it
Flesh, flesh for fantasy
We want
Flesh, flesh for fantasy

Its after midnight
Are you feelin alright oh yeah
Turn on the light, babe
Are you someone else tonight?
Neighbour to neighbour, door to door
Dont ask questions, theres time for it all oh yeah.

Face to face
And back to back
You see and feel
My sex attack
Sing it
Flesh, flesh for fantasy
We cry
Flesh, flesh for fantasy

I sing for culture...

Father loves his son,
Mothers, daughters, too.
Its an old old story,
Cries the new world too.

Flesh, flesh for fantasy
We want
Flesh, flesh for fantasy
We want
Flesh, flesh for fantasy
You cry
Flesh, flesh for fantasy
Flesh for Fantasy

[font="Arial Black"][color="White"]"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"