Papenfuse Feverishly Reading Up On How To Run A City

(HARRISBURG) – Democratic mayoral candidate Eric Papenfuse was seen today hunkered down in the “Government and Civics” section of the bookstore he owns, The Midtown Scholar, frantically reading through books on city governance. Sources said Papenfuse has been spending the weeks since the May primary studying up for the “sudden reality” that he could actually end up as the mayor of Harrisburg.

“I read recently that town hall meetings can be effective, so I plan to hold a few of those,” Papenfuse said. “I’m also seeing a lot of mentions about finding consensus, so I’m guessing I’ll need to do a lot of that, as well.”

Papenfuse reportedly skimmed through titles including Mayoring for Dummies, How To Take Over For a Mayor Who’s Batshit Crazy and Dr. Seuss’s One Mayor, Two Mayors, Black Mayor, White Mayor.

The Democratic candidates Papenfuse beat in the May primary include incumbent Linda Thompson, city Controller Dan Miller and Lewis Butts, whose last name contains the word “butt.”