HEARTS will need to be big boys today or they’ll get a spanking from Celtic live on television.

What a pity the club can’t trust their manager John McGlynn to supervise his under-pressure lads like an adult.

A request to speak to McGlynn face to face had to be referred to the Tynecastle politburo because his contract forbids him to engage with the media unless he’s asked for permission first.

This is hardly treating a man who almost plotted Liverpool’s downfall in the Europa League with respect.

Then, to make matters worse, the word was delivered that it wasn’t Hearts’ policy to allow one-to-one interviews with any of their personnel.

So the manager will need every ounce of persuasion he possesses to convince his Jambos they can match the conquerors of Spartak Moscow.

But he can’t be trusted to hold an adult conversation with someone 12 years older than he is.

I don’t know who should feel more insulted, John for having his authority undermined or me for having to go through the whole pathetic rigmarole.

It can’t be that Hearts are afraid of a down-to-earth man with a natural disinclination towards outlandish behaviour saying something silly.

They’ve got the club’s owner Vladimir Romanov for that purpose, after all.

His accusations that Celtic were guilty of shoving and provocation when they visited his native Russia on European business were laughable.

Neil Lennon’s side put up the performance of his managerial lifetime – Spartak were the side reduced to 10 men.

Vlad’s advice on how to beat Celtic was to play football and wait until they fall apart.

A tactic that failed last time Hearts went to Celtic Park in April and lost 5-0. But Romanov doesn’t need permission before he speaks.

He gets a free pass to make his club look foolish.

Mind you, wild horses wouldn’t make me name the man on Celtic’s management team who was once privately indiscreet about Moscow hero Georgios Samaras.

He told me if he was in charge of the team, the Greek would never get another game.

A good quote is never forgotten nor would I break a confidentiality.

You see, we can be trusted, even if Hearts don’t believe it. But Samaras is also a perfect example of why fans have to be ignored at times as well. It was Celtic supporters who dubbed him the “Greek tragedy” – not the media.

McGlynn will appreciate Samaras needs to be watched today – but can only say so in a controlled environment, otherwise something awful will happen, apparently.

You’d never know this was a game in need of positive publicity while we’re in a state of post-Rangers flux.

Celtic’s majority shareholder Dermot Desmond knows the truth and has put firmly in their place those in denial over Gers’ absence from the SPL.

Wonder how he’d feel about discussing the matter one-to-one? Or we could pretend we are passengers and meet on the London Underground.