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Ecological Armageddon?

The prophets of ecological Armageddon believe the end has arrived. Almost every imaginable calamity or inconvenience is used as “evidence” of this impending doom. If we have a warm winter, its proof we are all going to die through global warming. Or, if it happens to snow in June, that, too, is evidence that Americans are the cause of “global climate change.” I see a trend here, but it has little to do with the weather.

And what would the echo-prophets have the ignorant masses do to repent of their existence? From what I have been told, there are several actions one must take to avoid Hell on Earth. I began my path to redemption by bathing my family in the pale-yellow glow of mercury laden light bulbs as well as by fully inflating the tires of my new rickshaw. True penance might also include giving up meat and all the ozone-piercing flatulence that that barbaric behavior implies. Initially, I thought signing up for smart-grid regulation would be great, but I have since learned it would not be enough to find collective grace; we need to make real sacrifices. At first, my wife resisted cave-life, but once she realized that humans are a cancer, she swallowed all kinds of hard choices including pinecones, twigs and locusts. Of course, no matter what I do, I am screwed with five kids. Think of all the resources they steal from others in third-world nations, and the unjust piece of the progressive scarcity pie they consume. Alas, my only contribution to the global crisis is to commit suicide. If you have reached this conclusion as well, remember, it matters how you choose to “off” yourself. One must not consider arsenic or any other environmentally unfriendly chemical, or any type of gun for that matter. A person would obviously have to be insane to think about carbon monoxide poisoning. The best way to give yourself back to nature is to walk to the nearest chemical-free composting facility and lie in the dirt until you expire through natural means.

Or… if you’re not ready for the composting bin just yet, it might be worth taking a moment to consider another explanation for the “global crisis.”

It may be that the statist, with global warming, climate change, global climate disruption [insert any ecological, doomsday scenario here] has created a false premise: a non-choice between either the collective salvation of all humanity or its world-wide destruction, desolation and death. Using this false logic, the statist can justify any action or expansion of governmental power while freely attacking anyone who would dare question the official state position.

Clearly, there is extensive power and wealth to be redistributed through the establishment of a scarcity fear-based green economy. Yet, unlike other scientific theories, skeptics are supposed to just have faith and are not allowed to even mention the obvious conflicts of interest by those who stand to gain the most through the implementation of carbon credit limits or other state-based solutions. The central issue is not about a global crisis, it is about control and creating justification to erode personal liberties. In politics, both real and false crises have been used for years to push various agendas forward. Rom Emanuel’s now infamous statement “never let a good crisis go to waste” may come to mind, as it reflects the new level of cynicism and arrogance now openly displayed by those in power, when in the past, politicians attempted to hide their contempt for the American people.

History should have taught us by now to be wary of those who want to trade our liberties for promises of security. Past prophets of doom have proclaimed the inevitable dangers of the genetically defective, global cooling, over population, and Y2K, but, in each case, the world kept turning. While some crises, like Y2K, led to a few harmless computer upgrades, other crises, like the Eugenics movement, led to genocide. And where will the latest “crisis” of climate change lead us? I have no idea, but pray it stops with toxic light bulbs.