Mar 6 The White Summer: 5 Indulgent Spring/Summer Essentials

Is it spring yet? Nope, that’s just nature playing its evil games on its subjects. Like when it’s a bitter cold winter and just when you’re settling in and adjusting to the chill it suddenly gets warm for a stretch and your mind starts doing these funny things like thinking that winter might be over and it’s time to start dusting off those Bermuda shorts. But no, nature and its schemas have something else in store. But wait, I’m not the bearer of bad news in this situation. No, I’m the bearer of good news, actually. Due to this past week’s eclectic NY weather I have found myself, more than once I might add, thinking about the upcoming seasons of warmer temps and couldn’t help making a mental shopping list (it was all in my head, I promise I definitely did not start a new note to write down, in order of urgency, the top 3 short de bains I must buy once I man up and sell my Litecoin) of some of the essential items for the spring/summer.

And so, because I have a deep understanding of the profundity of life and its fleeting nature, and would hate to take any more of your precious time than I already have, I thusly present a condensed, yet comprehensive, list of five wardrobe staples that will carry anyone in possession of at least mild aesthetic sense through the lackadaisical days and adventurous nights of the months to come.

Unlike the hypothetical note I mentioned above, there is no order of urgency for this list due to the inherent nature of a person needing to cover his body (in varying degrees, no judgment here) with more than one item of clothing. (Unless you’re part of the clan trying to bring onesies back, in which case you do not meet the aforementioned threshold of criteria.)

The White Minimalist Sneaker

We currently live in the heyday (ushered in, perhaps, by the well known brand Common Projects; sorry Stan Smith) of the white minimalist sneaker, and so you probably already own a pair. But because we are the generation of rabid consumerism, one is not enough! Everyone has realized that the utility of classic white trainers is through the roof and so making an argument for a second pair (let’s call them your weekenders) is easy, especially when considering this pick. Oliver Cabel is a new player in this ever-competitive arena of men’s footwear, and thus fills a role that has yet to be met by any other company (wink’ wink’ capitalism). They are qualitatively on par with other high-end footwear brands, yet are half the price, making these whites an easy trade for some greens.

The White Button-Down Shirt

An updated (vintage) version of the “go to” white button down shirt is the granddad collar white button down shirt, called that way because your granddad wore this shirt in that picture of him and your grandma during that trip to Niagara circa 1950. Known for its versatility, this piece transitions seamlessly from day to night, work to bar, beach to eat, boat to…whatever, you get the point. This one, from British, luxurious-fabric-loving, brand Sunspel is the understated way of saying to all those you encounter while wearing this shirt “I literally can pull this off way better than your granddad did.”

The Crisp White Shorts / Swim Trunks Hybrid

Never worn out, always crisp, unparalleled style. Lets hear it for the one, the only, the great OB!! After that intro you must be wondering: Who is this great OB? Well, I’ll tell you, OB stands for Orlebar Brown, the maker of these wonderful shorts you can’t take your eyes off of. And the reason you can’t take your eyes off of them is because you realize the endless amount of potential a pair of shorts like these have, which leaves you in an open-mouthed state just gaping at your screen waiting for someone to feed you veggie straws. Only what you don’t realize is that not only are these the most stylish and comfortable pair of shorts you’ll probably ever own, they also function as fully operational swim shorts. And so when you’re next vacationing in the Maldives, as I’m sure you often do, on summation of your afternoon dalliance in the pool you won’t have to feel sheepish walking through the lobby of Hotel Jumeirah Vittaveli because your swimwear has graphics of dolphins snogging. With these hybrid shorts those glares turn into stares, and their envy is your delight.

The Plain Off-White Tee

This super comfortable, slub, off-white tee from Swedish brand Nudie Jeans Co. has tremendous upside and, like any good white tee that doesn’t have a fruit of the loom tag flapping above the neckline, it can play roles on both sides of the spectrum. It can be worn under an unconstructed textured blue blazer, or as a standalone during an entire festival weekend, which subsequently never gets worn again in order to preserve the patchouli smell it picked up after being sandwiched for hours between people waving their arms; either way it’s a safe bet.

The Classic Pair of White Jeans

And so we’ve arrived at the ultimate item of this pentalogue and I ask you “hasn’t your life improved dramatically since you began reading this article?” If, by some fluke, the answer is no, then it definitely will during these last few paragraphs. Let me start off by saying that at one point in my life I would have rather walked down the streets of a busy city wearing dad jeans before being caught by even a single person in a pair of slim white denim jeans. Well, what can I say other than times have changed? And, unless you’re willing to be a grown up and admit to your faults, you will never, ever grow. White jeans are a statement, yes. And they are not just any kind of statement; they are a uniquely special statement. They are a uniquely special statement made by uniquely special people included in which are bikers, actors, singers, socialites, kingpins, and now you, you uniquely special person (except if you’re the one whose life didn’t radically improve after reading this, than you’re just uniquely average, sorry about that). The point is a statement is made and those who don’t have a pair of white jeans are those who are too scared to make it — the statement that he is someone who’s not diffident about being different, about being bold.

Conclusion

Philosophers and the like have been saying for centuries that it’s not about what’s on the outside that counts. Agree or disagree, there is an element to dress that inspires a person to be their best self and if it’s the outside that betters the inside, then I would say the outside does indeed count — for something, at least. Now, unless you’re channeling your inner Burt Reynolds from Boogie Nights, you’re probably not going to be wearing all these pieces at once. Which is great, because mixing and matching with whites is the easiest thing you will ever do. Whether it’s adding a brown loafer or a black military boot to your fabulous white jeans, or tying a cravat around your neck which beautifully accents the “v-shape” your white granddad shirt makes when you leave the top six buttons open, I have complete unfounded confidence in you to be daringly creative and overly expressive in your dress.

After all, white is the blankest your canvas will ever get, allowing your character to shine forth through the exquisite garments that drape your stature as you arrive into your greatest summer yet.