Video 7:19
SIDS art

A group of parents who have lost children to SIDS have found comfort and joy through their art - in this exhibition at Pialligo.

Transcript

CHRIS KIMBALL, PRESENTER: The loss of a baby causes unimaginable grief for parents and yet societal expectations demand they move on with life.

But how is that possible with the sense of loss being so profound?

A group of bereaved parents who are also artists have found some comfort and joy in their work.

It's being displayed at an exhibition supported by SIDS and Kids ACT.

Siobhan Heanue spoke with two of the artist.

DEBORAH FIORI, JEWELLER: Almost two and half years ago my partner and I had our first baby and she unfortunately was in a breech position which is in these days is considered unusual. We had a procedure to try and turn her head down given that I wanted to have a natural birth and be supported in that decision, which was unsuccessful and I went into labour about 24 hours later and it unfortunately was very fast labour and we couldn't get to the hospital in time.

So she was born mostly at our home before ambulances arrived and we were transferred to hospital but she had passed away some way along the way.

It was a complete shock I think I was numb for quite a long time after that you don't expect it particularly in this day and age where, you know we live in such a privileged country.

BERNADETTE MAURER, PHOTOGRAPHER: We lost our first baby Kieron, our little boy after a perfectly normal pregnancy and a relatively easy trouble free birth, everything was normal. I held in my arms he opened his eyes and we had that magic moment and he was taken off me just for a routine procedure, you know, just checking him over and that's when they actually discovered he had a congenital abnormality. That the chances of it happening is actually one in billions, so we were just very unlucky.

They did everything that they could to save him but he passed away within an hour of him being born and obviously that was completely unexpected for us and for me it was as if the carpet had just been ripped out from under my feet. My whole world was turned upside down and all of our hopes and dreams just smashed.

And there is really no way out from that. I would even go as far as to say my world is still upside down and I'm just learn to live with being upside down, you have no other choice really.

DEBORAH FIORI: I think your body must have some sort of inbuilt mechanism to help you cope because I was numb for a long time and I think that was kind of like a buffer for me, getting used to the idea that I had gone through a wonderful pregnancy, you know issue free, and to have this devastating outcome. The shock just helped me get used to that idea that I wasn't taking a live baby home, that my life had changed enormously in such a short time.

I know that as the days went by, and the weeks went by I felt so much further away from my child, you know, it was a very difficult set of circumstances and now so far on I guess you know, it's not that you don't have those feelings anymore, but the intensity of those feelings changes and abates a little.

BERNADETTE MAURER: If somebody is crying all the time people will perceive them as not coping but what they actually mean is that it's making them uncomfortable whereas if you can hide your grief, not cry, or not be sad you are apparently coping really well.

DEBORAH FIORI: I think being a creative person it was very natural to me to express my feelings and work through that journey of healing through my art practice. I was very conscious of not focussing deliberately on child loss as such only because it's not a topic that's well received or something that's easily discussed in society generally.

Oh bubby.

In my professional art work I sought to have an exhibition where it gave me a focus to explore my feelings but I did not make it specifically about child loss I looked more generally at loss.

So when this exhibition opportunity came up I thought it was very purposeful and it was precisely what my work was about.

BERNADETTE MAURER: I've been actually doing photography for over 20 years so I'm fairly experienced in thei field but when it happened it was like somebody had taken out my eyes and cut off my arms and said you will never do that again.

I just couldn't see anything to take photos of and I couldn't see how to process the photos even if I did take them so it was a very gradual process from there.

The challenge is put the emotion and the feeling into whatever it is that you are seeing or feeling at the time and the colour and just making it pop for you so it's still a very gradual process, it's something that I'll obviously keep learning from but it did help me through a certain period, I would say, yeah.

DEBORAH FIORI: Death of a child is not something that's not easily dealt with as a society and even within your own families.

BERNADETTE MAURER: We want to talk about our babies. I want to talk about Kieron and even show you photos. He is my son and I am proud of him.

CHRIS KIMBALL: And you can still see that exhibition at Gallery 12 at Pialligo Plant Farm until Sunday.