Whiting

Boat Name

My sons Suzki Vitara did a clutch cable the other day and he wanted me to tow it to the mechanics where he was also getting the fuel pump replaced.
I went to Bunnings and bought a tow strap.
See below image.
It's not a very heavy car and we didn't have to travel far on a fairly straight back road. So for a short distance I thought this would do the job and only $20 bucks.
Well it turns out that a towing strap is not recommended for conventional towing!!!
What the??
See note 5 down.
Well I'm happy to report the tow went fine and now I feel like a rebel.

I put this in here as I believe this is genuinely funny, NOT as a political dig. How you vote is entirely up to YOU
https://www.qt.com.au/news/nicholls-tv-gaffe-support-your-local-one-n-i-mean-/3273765/

For some reason I cant open the old "funnies" thread :( So I'm kicking of a new one....... A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously. 'Oh my GOD!' screamed the woman. 'That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?' The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, 'I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture.' Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay,' said the woman. As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him. Again, the woman screamed, 'Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified? Again the doctor spoke very calmly: 'Same illness, better health plan. Jayson

The message is part of a new Workplace Diversity Council campaign called #WordsAtWork, which aims to spark a conversation about how even seemingly innocuous language can exclude minority groups.
Link to ABC story http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-06-01/words-you-should-avoid-using-about-women-in-the-workplace/7467848
Yes, I can relate to the above….I was once asked not to be patronising or sexist. I thought ok, fair enough… chicks can`t take it...

can this be true?.... apparently he had been ill.....
what is going on?... muso Legends are dropping like flies!
http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2016/01/20/rock-legend-animal-dies-aged-66/
January 20, 2016
TRIBUTES have been flooding in from all across the world following the death of Animal, the legendary drummer with rock outfit Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem.
Fans of the supergroup were shocked to learn of the passing of the iconic percussionist, who passed away at just 66 following a short illness. Remaining band members Dr. Teeth, Janice, Zoot and Floyd Pepper took to the group’s Facebook fan page to announce the sad news earlier today.
“We will never forget you, brother,” read the statement from the band.
“You kept rocking ’til the very end. Be at peace now, and we’ll play again in that great muppet theatre in the sky”.
Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem had been performing together for several years before their breakout performance on the Muppet Show in 1975. The band were invited to continue as resident artists for the show, but it was Animal’s trademark intensity that won him the hearts of fans all across the world. His popularity won him appearances in every Muppet movie released, with his last role in 2014’s Muppets: Most Wanted.
“Although he had already been diagnosed with threadbaring syndrome, you would have never known he was sick,” said Fozzie Bear, speaking about the filming of M:MW.
“I’d ask him if he was feeling alright, and he’d just say ‘ANIMAL!!! HAAAAH!!!!’. That was… that was just Animal, you know?”
Other Muppets were quick to add their own tributes to their deceased colleague, with Miss Piggy stating that Animal was “a driving force in her life”, and the Swedish Chef adding that Animal always knew “how tee bork de bork”.

I have put this in humour as there is no other section appropriate for the bloke....
Just when we all thought it was safe to stay out of the water, this clown surfaces again.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3368592/Queensland-shark-hunter-Vic-Hislop-sells-frozen-great-white-shark-30-000.html

So James (bersim) has been desperate to catch a fish on his home made lures and is a bit jealous I am the only person to catch fish on them so far. I didn't know he was desperate enough to create this!! Crack up. Your head looks a bit big James and you didn't tell me you upgraded your motor to 50hp? haha .

http://www.theroar.com.au/2015/10/14/exclusive-real-reasons-behind-martin-taupaus-requested-move-manly/ In another one of our patented faux-scoops, The Roar has gained unprecedented imaginary access to the Martin Taupau camp where the real reasons were unearthed as to why heâ€™s attempting to GTFO of the Tigers ASAP. As speculated this week, the corn-rowed firebrand has requested an immediate release from his contract at Wests, with rumours rife that heâ€™s already signed for 2017 with Manly but is looking to head north pronto anyway, because, you know, contracts just donâ€™t bind like they used to. We can reveal the Kiwi internationalâ€™s main motivation for fleeing the joint venture is because of their iron-fisted administration and epidemic political instability, and his desperation for change is so strong that heâ€™s willing to work under the same conditions at the Sea Eagles. When queried on the move by The Roar, a source close to Taupau acknowledged the hit-machineâ€™s intentions as like â€œtrying to flee Beirut for North Koreaâ€ but conceded â€œthe schnitties are better at Manlyâ€™s Leagues Club, and even better, Manly actually has a Leagues Clubâ€. Those close to Taupau say he is drawn to the security of knowing his place at the club would be guaranteed until at least Round 20, and if it isnâ€™t, that heâ€™ll be offered a contract extension in Round 12 before being told to look elsewhere two weeks later. In addition to this, the all-action Auckland product is mightily excited about the stability the club provides from top-to-bottom, mainly due to their massive raft of recent knee-jerk changes and because Bob Fulton said so. Taupau believes that the clubâ€™s decision to appoint an untested rookie coach to a hostile role left vacant by the ruthless sacking of a 27-year club legend is sure to make for a composed environment that provides the best chance for the team to make the finals, which is good because they fire coaches who donâ€™t. The 25-year-old is also heavily encouraged by the state-of-the-art facilities on offer at Manlyâ€™s high-tech Narrabeen training base, however this facet of his decision was a no-contest considering the Tigersâ€™ extensive collection of 1975 dumbbells. In fact, he was left breathless by the sight of a skipping rope and some old calves blood from 2007 when touring the facilities, and friends say this was the decisive moment when he decided he wanted to play his footy at the famous northern beaches club thatâ€™s approved by 50 per cent of Stewart Brothers. While privately Taupau is dead keen on negotiating the move swiftly, publicly he is keeping his powder dry as he is mindful of not turning the situation in to another trademark Tigers debacle that further stains their withered and almost lifeless brand. The wild-eyed big bopper is also at pains to ensure his request isnâ€™t seen as further denigration to Jason Taylorâ€™s coaching reputation. â€œThis is nothing to do with JT,â€ a friend of Taupauâ€™s said. â€œBar his philosophies, methods and ability as a rugby league coach, Marty fully supports him. â€œThis move to Manly is purely a lifestyle decision. As in, he hates his lifestyle at the Tigers.â€ Another source close to Taupau has made it clear that the last thing the New Zealand representative wants for the Tigers is another Robbie Farah-like circus, and that heâ€™s prepared to wage a boardroom war to provoke a contract breach over workplace issues so thereâ€™s no comparison. â€œMarty has nothing against the Tigers board. Sure, the organisation has got its issues; Leichhardt Oval, Rozelle Leagues, Campbelltown, not paying his wages on time, the board. Besides that, he would bleed for the joint.â€ In response, a Wests Tigers board member declared that all contract negotiations for 2016 had been finalised and that Taupau was a required employee for next season. When questioned further, he acknowledged that the only terms under which the hit-up heathen would be released was if he was part of a package deal that somehow also freed them of Farah. The Tigers powerbroker then also denied that a swap deal had been discussed with Manly, and that at this point in the season the club would only discuss transfer deals exclusively with NFL franchises because â€œthatâ€™s what the kids are doing nowadaysâ€. Taupauâ€™s camp replied by saying that while he had considered having a crack at American football, it was Manly or bust. While gridiron certainly appealed to the prime-time tackle-buster, he preferred to respect the sportâ€™s respected customs by working his way on to an NFL roster via the gameâ€™s traditional pathways, that being through Parramatta and/or the AFL.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. The following day, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. That afternoon a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Two cattlemen from Texas were sitting in a diner, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, â€œThat little gal is havinâ€™ a bad time. Iâ€™m agonna go over there and help.â€ He ran over to the young lady, and gently held both sides of her head in his big, Texan hands, and asked â€œKin ya swaller?â€ Gasping, she shook her head no. He asked â€œKin ya breathe?â€ she again shook her head no. With that, he yanked up her skirt, yanked down her pantys` and licked her on the butt. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began to breathe on her own. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, â€œYa know, itâ€™s sure amazinâ€™ how that hind-lick maneuver always works.â€