Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

The Adrienne and Brandi Show

Marisa thinks the reason the women are so skinny is because they can't have an incident-free dinner.

BRAVO to the Baltimore Ravens on their thrilling Superbowl victory!!! One for the ages I'm told and I didn't watch a single play.

Now on to far more important matters...

One of the great aspects about the Housewives' experience is the opportunity to examine my behavior when the show airs. Some audiences are surprised that I have been very quiet on the show, but I must remind them that I was brought in by Kyle and didn't know any of the other women. Most of the women's conversations continued (ad nauseam) to revolve around drama that occurred well before I came into the picture and did not involve me, so I chose not to insert myself unnecessarily. It was actually awkward at times as I sat there speechless thinking "Really? We're going to dredge up this again?" I recall trying to change the subject on occasion, but those attempts fell on deaf ears. I'll give them this much...these women are committed to their drama.

Pole dancing can be great exercise, an art form, or a way to line your pocket with mostly one dollar bills in front of guys I definitely wouldn't want to bring home...none of which particularly excites me.

Don't get me wrong, any woman who benefits from spinning around upside down with her legs in the air should by all means stick with it...The opportunities could be endless. I tried hiding and avoiding taking a turn on the pole, but when Brandi called my name I decided to give it the old college try...and since I never went to college, the results were as expected. I'm glad the other girls were able to have some fun though.

Riding back to the hotel, Kim shared her interest in a "nose job," which Yolanda thought was a mistake. Although Yolanda's intentions likely came from a good place, she hardly knows Kim and what may or may not be best for her. At the end of the day, we need to make our own choices in life and learn and grow from them. I think Kim is very happy with her decision...good for her.

I was hungry at this point and envisioning an evening of fabulous food, fine wine, and stimulating conversation. Everyone appeared in good spirits, so I thought we may finally enjoy a dinner without a fight breaking out. How naive of me to think it was possible to have
a civilized dinner with these women, right? It must be an unwritten rule that something distasteful must go down at every meal. Perhaps this is how the girls stay so thin...they never end up eating and chew each other out instead.

Fortunately, I spilled red wine on my dress, which was enough to shift the energy temporarily. Most of the women were helpful and that was very sweet, but Yolanda just gave me a disapproving stare. Not sure where that came from. All I could think was "Thank God I didn't spill that red wine at Yolanda's house because if it upset her in Vegas, I would really be up s--- creek in Malibu."

Maybe Yolanda has never spilled a drink before, which wouldn't surprise me since her life is so pristine and perfect that it just wouldn't fit in with her image. That said, I am admittedly clumsy and this won't be the last time I spill a drink. As for the stain, I remembered my mother-in-law once told me advice Barbra Streisand gave her, white wine can be used to remove red wine stains. Thank you Babs, it worked!

After a break in the action, we're back for yet another encore performance of the Adrienne and Brandi saga that we just can't seem to get enough of. A quick blow-by-blow recap: Kyle sticks up for Adrienne in absentia, Camille walks away because she's afraid she may say something she may regret....Not to worry, Kyle convinces her to return and you guessed it, Camille says something she may regret and asserts Lisa does not own SUR which leads Brandi to announce that Adrienne may not have said stake in The Palms and Yolanda points out the obvious that we have spent three dinners talking about Adrienne and Brandi's drama.

Well, I haven't been talking about it, but I've been forced to listen to it and can't help but thinking where's Dean to ask "Who's ready for dessert?" The melee subsides, but not before Yolanda deduces that Kyle loves the drama. I'll let you be the judge of that since it's none of my business, and I'm not going to speak up just to hear the sound of my own voice.

Kyle: I Couldn't Do Anything Right in Kim's Eyes

Kyle discusses the building tension between herself and Kim and what it was like to kiss Steven Tyler.

Yolanda invited us all to do the Fantastic Race. I had no clue what we were in for. When we arrived, I was happy and relieved to see Camille and even HAPPIER when I found out Brandi and I were on the same team. Phew!

Once we started, I was unexpectedly into it. I really liked this running around Beverly Hills, playing childhood games. I had to laugh, because all the women were tortured to have to actually drink a shake! Hehe! All in all, I think it was a great idea and something none of us had ever done (except forLisa R.). It certainly wasn't going to repair the issues between Brandi and me, but we both went along with the game. At this point I was relieved we could actually be in the same room and be civil, even though I knew we would never be friends. I had to laugh when Brandi said "Aggressive Spice” to the girls outside of Villa Blanca. Hey! That's my line that I used on HER. Haha.

It was all worth it (or so we thought it would be), because the reward was a trip to Amsterdam! I had never been and always wanted to go. Of course I had imagined going with Mauricio, but I thought it would be fun--at least with most of the girls.

On the way to Amsterdam, Yolanda invited the women to stop in Calgary, because she and David were hosting a big event for The David Foster Foundation. Lisa R., Brandi, Kim,and I joined Yolanda. Kim had expressed to me privately that she wasn’t happy with Lisa R. I told Kim Lisa was worried, and Brandi told Kim she was questioning her sobriety after poker night. Knowing what we know now, it's frustrating watching Brandi not explain her role in that conversation. Lisa R. had actually gone to talk to Brandi about HER behavior, and Brandi quickly turned it around and made it about Kim. Brandi also expressed concern and revealed things that I know Kim wouldn't appreciate, and yet she went to Kim and said, “I just want you to know what Lisa R. has been saying."

When Kim and I discussed her issues with Lisa R., I told Kim she should pull her aside privately and let her know that while she appreciates the concern, she didn't appreciate her talking about it to other people. I said that Lisa R. would understand, and the issue would be dropped.

As soon as we arrived to the plane, Kim was giving Lisa the cold shoulder. When Kim and Lisa R. started getting into it, I wanted to get a parachute and jump off the plane. It was so uncomfortable being stuck in between the two of them. Kim was then mad at me for looking uncomfortable. Oh boy. This should be fun...

Calgary was amazing in spite of the awkwardness on the plane. The event was beautiful and such an amazing cause. The event raising $8.2 million dollars was truly impressive. The energy in the room was so exciting. I am a huge fan of many of the people who performed that night. It was so nice to see these people coming together to help these children. The highlight of the night came when Steven Tyler and I danced together on stage to "Walk This Way" AND he kissed me! OMG. I still can't believe that happened! I've always loved his music, and he was so kind, fun, and generous that night that I am an even bigger fan now.

When we arrived in Amsterdam we stopped for a moment to use the restroom, and I set my bag aside, and then we resumed walking out. After we were downstairs, I realized I had left my bag there. I felt terrible and told the girls to go ahead, but they decided to wait. Brandi and Kim were clearly annoyed with me, but it was an accident. What can I say? We were all jet lagged, and I wasn't exactly at my sharpest. The topper was when we all crashed on the escalator and Brandi actually hurt her leg. It didn't look like that big of a deal on camera, but it was actually scary. It was a full escalator, and we were all starting to pile on top of each other. Luckily someone hit the stop button.

I couldn't do anything right in my sister's eyes, and things only get worse from here on.

Kyle Richards

Outside, Kim turned to me and snapped at me again. First she said I blamed her for the escalator mishap (which I did not), then said whenever she's late I laugh at her and leave her. She was referring to Season 2 when we were going to Hawaii, and she left her passport and missed the flight. I never laughed and made fun of her. I was frustrated and couldn't exactly make the plane wait for her. I couldn't do anything right in my sister's eyes and things only get worse from here on.

Next week is the most intense moment we have ever had in five seasons of RHOBH...