Jews Don't Bow

Little did I know that the source of my chutzpah reached back thousands of years, to Mordechai.

If you’d met me growing up in El Paso, Texas you wouldn’t have been able to tell I was Jewish. When I was six and my brother was 10, his gymnastics coach asked my parents if they would consider sending my brother to begin training to be an Olympic gymnast. My parents were in the middle of a divorce, and my brother’s future as an Olympic gymnast got buried under the mess of my parents’ lives. But I, unaware of this greater drama, did what all little brothers did. I followed my brother and joined gymnastics as well.

One day at gymnastics class, the instructor asked me to bow down for a gymnastics routine. I refused. “Aaron is something wrong?”

I wouldn’t budge.

“Please bow down like all the other boys and girls.”

Again I remained adamant in silence. The gym coach had hit upon the only thing I knew from reform temple that as a Jew I was not allowed to do.

Struggling inside I finally spoke up, “Jews don’t bow down!”

I’d only started going to the reform Sunday school a year earlier but I remembered being told, as I sat in my Purim costume eating my first hamentashen, that Mordechai was a Jew and he didn’t bow down to Haman who turned himself into an idol. Jews don’t bow down.

I wouldn’t budge. Finally my brother came over and explained to me that I wasn’t bowing to anybody, and that it was okay this time to bow.

At the end of 5th grade I was one of the most popular kids in school. My friends and I listened to the music none of the other kids had yet heard of, and wore clothes before anybody had ever seen them, until one day all my good friends turned on me. I showed up at school and none of them would look at me. No one ever explained why. By the end of 6th grade some of these same friends who had fallen in with very violent people had even threatened to kill me. Later I would understand that God was pouring down his mercy on me and trying to rip me away from these superficial and troubled people, teaching me to look deeper into life.

Going to Church at St. Andrews

I told my parents that if they didn’t send me to private school I was going to drop out for fear of my life. My parents agreed and sent me to St. Andrew’s Episcopalian Parish School. (The Episcopalians are moderate Christian group somewhere between the ritualistic Catholics and non-ritualistic Protestants). It was a great move for me at the time. We wore uniforms and there were no popularity wars. The only downside was that every morning before school started I had to attend church. In the middle of the service everybody would line up for a wafer and wine before a cross, and say something like, "This represents the body of Jesus and the blood of Jesus.” One of the priests would insert the wafer in every child’s mouth. We negotiated that I would walk up with all the other kids but nobody was to ever put anything in my mouth.

We negotiated that I would walk up with all the other kids but nobody was to ever put anything in my mouth.

Everything was fine until one day the headmaster left town for a week. When everybody kneeled down, the officiating priest noticed one child sitting contently in his seat. Breathless he caught up with me after church and announced, “You have to bow!”

“I am a Jew. Jews don’t bow down to idols,” I answered back.

“If you don’t bow you can’t come to our school,” the priest shot back. By the end of the day I had organized that the four other Jews in the school should also refuse to bow.

Our parents called up. The next morning the four of us sat, not bowing.

He was livid, but every day we would show up to their church and sit respectfully as everybody else bowed. Eventually they kicked me out. I left with one message clear for life: “Jews don’t bow down.”

Defiant

Some kids have more chutzpah than others. I had a lot, but God had arranged it that I directed the majority of my natural chutzpah at a society that I saw as insistent on having me bow down. Throughout the rest of high school and into college I found ever-subtler forms of how the non-Jewish culture I was living in was trying to get me to bow. Whether it be through the guise of teen culture via high school prom dances, joining a football team, or a fraternity; or be it getting sucked into the pull of never-ending cycle of consumerism that tried to convince you that first you needed a car, and then a stereo to put in your car, and then a nicer car, etc. till you found yourself enslaved working to have the stuff that they claimed would make you somebody special.

My conclusion was to get as far away from Western culture as I could. I wasn’t quite sure where I was supposed to go. By 1993 I found myself in a land free of Western culture’s influence -- Moscow, Russia, after the collapse of the Soviet Union. I’d heard the Soviets were anti-Semitic so I didn’t tell anyone around that I was Jewish, and I never used my last name. Then one day I was sitting with the six friends I had made at the Russian university I was studying, I decided to confess.

“I want you all to know, I am Jewish.”

They all looked at me. “Oh really? So are we,” they all said nonchalantly.

I had traveled thousands of miles from my home, from everything I knew, to discover that being Jewish was something so powerful that even a fascist Soviet regime that wiped away all religion couldn’t keep seven Jewish souls who knew nothing about being Jewish from finding each other and bonding together. There was something in all of us that refused to bow.

For the first time in my life I knew that my Judaism had to mean something.

Being Jewish somehow defied everything. I had no idea what it meant to be Jewish and I couldn’t ask them. For all they knew I could have been a rabbi. I just knew now for the first time in my life that my Judaism had to mean something.

Ripples of Mordechai's Strength

Six years later, a few weeks before Purim, I found myself sitting in Bnai Brak’s Ponevezh yeshiva. I could barely read the Talmud then, but I wanted to learn Tosfos, so every day after lunch, I would sit with a young yeshiva bochur for an hour who would go over the Tosfos again and again until I could repeat back what he said to me, even though I had no idea what it meant.

One day after my lesson I sat, and prepared for Purim when I read the words in Hebrew, "There was a Jewish man in Shushan the capitol whose name was Mordechai, son of Yair, son of Shim'I, son of Kish, a Benjaminite…" (Megilas Esther 2:5)

I discovered that Mordechai was from the tribe of Benjamin. The verse told me that in order to discover the root of Mordechai’s strength to singly defy a world power. Benjamin was the only one of the 12 sons of Yaakov who did not bow down to Esav, the father of Western culture. This little fact rippled through one thousand years of history until it would show up in Mordechai, whose confidence in being a Jew would light up the waning faith of Jews in 127 countries, and overturn a government and genocide.

And it would continue to ripple for two thousand more years till it showed up in a little Jewish boy sitting in a reform temple in El Paso, Texas.

About the Author

Visitor Comments: 71

(61)
Yehudit,
March 3, 2015 6:47 PM

Yasher Koach and Kol haKavod for NOT bowing to a human!

Bowing to a human being (especially one that is wicked) or to an "intermediary" (like Jesus) or an image or a statue are all forms of idolatry. This very wise boy was told not to bow, so he did not do so. He was performing a mitzvah, doing what HaShem said, so I say to him "Yasher Koach and Kol haKavod"!

(60)
avi,
October 13, 2014 10:53 AM

a thoroughly unnecessary struggle

to bow to something implies you are afraid of or intimidated by it. Your struggle to uphold your value to not bow because while seemingly noble comes across as a thoroughly unnecessary struggle.

there is wisdom in your insistence not to bow at the priest's request. but further to ronald's comment why did you not mention the bowing that has become part of synagogue services?

bowing to god in synagogue is the same as bowing to the priest. you are bowing out of fear and intimidation.

that implies a fear based mindset.

surely someone with your chutzpah would see the lack of wisdom in that???

(59)
Ronald,
September 1, 2014 7:46 AM

We bow in all prayers

It is simply nonsense that we only bow on Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. The traditional synagogue service knows many acts of bowing, predominantly in the Shemoneh and Full Kaddish, and also during Aleinu. This is done in every service.

jamiie,
September 1, 2014 7:54 AM

you are making a mistake

the author is referring to total prostration on the ground, not the half bow we do every day while praying

(58)
Aharon,
December 24, 2013 7:00 PM

Its ok to bow

I am rather concerned that these comments are unbalanced. A Jew does not bow down in worship to anyone but God. However a courtesy bow to another person or to a king or an authority figure or an object like a flag is perfectly ok and has been down by Jews all through history. Many Americans get carried away with their ideas which are more based on a rebelliousness rooted in revolutionary culture rather than Jewish culture. For example to bow in respect to a war memorial when laying a wreath is perfectly ok as one is neither worshipping the memorial nor the soldiers but honouring the sacrifice of the soldiers with common human courtesy.

Joe Feld,
December 26, 2013 10:49 AM

Define 'bow'

I suspect there is a difference between the courtesy we routinely show a Torah Scholar or H M The Queen and the type of 'bow' involved in idolatry. We only 'bow' on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur at Musaph. Here in London we say a blessing on seeing The Queen and most people do a slight courtesy bow, although some years back the Palace made it known the Queen had made the bow optional.

charlot brown,
August 31, 2014 5:46 PM

balancing truth and the 'hood

The English word "courtesy" has the root word verb "to court". A courtesy gesture is a symbol indicating that one recognizes that the object of the courtship has a right to obeisance; a nod; or a pressing together of the palms ; removing one's hat...or a courtsey..a female form of bow...It is homage. To imply a bow is to bow.. .....It is interesting that this responding writer expresses concern that the comments expressed represent unbalanced thought. He means, openly stated. He means "Jewish". Yes, they are unbalanced; the scales are tipped by the weight of honest consideration of the right to wear uniqueness "out loud " without fear...Unbalanced by being free of the weight of anxiety for majority's approval...and unbalanced by deceit, albeit probablydeceit by virtue of ignorance. But It is not OK!. Has he not just accepted that a Jew does not bow down...to anyone but God? Contradiction #1: " " a courtesy bow to another person...an authority figure...an object like a flag...a war memorial"...this is perfectly OK..." and has been done by Jews all through history....Look back into that History, Aharon See! what happened when Jews bowed down to anyone but GOD!...It is not ok....Perhaps, before you go on with your Balanced compromises of bowing and scraping your hat in the dust,...hopefully not your yarmulke... you ought to change your name....or look up...away up; and, for you, a long way back.Then look around you at a world gone truly unbalanced. Put your hat back on. Stand up straight. Look the world in the eyes... and your neighbour. Who are you?

(57)
Mychal,
September 28, 2012 8:52 PM

SAS

I don't know what year Mr. Hirsh went to St. Andrew's-Sewanee (I know Headmaster Simmons was well before my time), but I graduated from that school in 1997. There was one Jewish boy in my class, plus many international students and other kids of various religious backgrounds.
I didn't take communion or kneel because I had been raised Baptist, and you just don't do those things in the Baptist church. Many other people didn't take communion or kneel. And that was okay. People who wanted communion went up to get it. People who didn't stayed in their seats.
When we graduated, we were given the option of receiving a blessing from the headmaster/priest. Zach, the Jewish student, chose not to receive it. So, instead, Fr. Wade shook his hand and prayed that God would bless him in all his endeavors. No mention of the Trinity, no kneeling, no laying on of hands.
At the time, I didn't understand why it was done that way--especially since everyone else elected to get a blessing, even if they weren't Christian--but now that I'm a Jewish convert, I understand completely.
I'm very sorry that Mr. Hirsh had such a bad experience. As an alumni, it shames me to hear the story. But the school I graduated from was not like that. Everyone--and every institution--can be redeemed.

(56)
Aderei,
June 9, 2012 3:42 AM

I admire this man. But, i do not bow to any man, nor Nazis, Jews neither Mormons or any man from this earth, nor any leader. I bow only to God who is the Creator. Nothing else.

(55)
Lanie,
March 9, 2012 5:32 AM

This story has great significance for Jews

I admire this man, who as a child realized that Jews don't have to be submissive, as sometimes society tries to force us to be. It is a battle that has been going on thousands of years. Jews should bow to no one.

(54)
Beverly Kurtin,
March 9, 2012 5:29 AM

It can be fun

Being Jewish in a gentile world is not always the best situation for anyone, especially a little girl with a case of Chuzpah the size of D/FW Airport (bigger than Manhattan).
There were other Jews in my elementary school who didn't want to let others know that they were Jewish. SOMEBODY had to be the Jew and it turned out to be me. It turned out to be an exercise in pain. I'd get "accidental" shoulder bumps that would knock me to the ground. My Hebrew books would wind up in the toilet (I went to cheder after secular school) and naturally, none of the teachers ever saw anyone start anything, just me defending myself.
Then one year one of my uncles who had just come back from Korea taught me "Jew-Jitsu."
I couldn't WAIT for school to start. As usual, the bullies lined up getting ready to get even with me for killing their god. I approached the biggest bully and put him on the floor faster than he could move. I went down the hall putting boys on the deck (I come from a Navy town). When I had put half of the cowards down, they ran from me.
When someone finally asked me what it was that I had done to them I told them "Jew-Jitsu." I made it known that anyone who even looked at me wrong would wind up prone on the deck.
The principal knew all along who was doing what to whom, so when one of my teachers told me to go to the principal's office she said, "Attaway, girl, I've been wondering how long it was going to take them out." Knowing I had an ally in the principal I began being the bully when justified.
One girl who had torn my Hebrew book the previous year and tried to flush it down the toilet wound up in a very embarrassing situation. She couldn't leave the girl's room...she had no clothes on when I got through with her.
They finally got it through their noggins that I wasn't a girl to be messed with and just like Azriel and Mordechai, I NEVER bowed to anyone. The tribe of Benjamin were left-handed; so am I. Is there a lesson there?

Barb,
May 18, 2013 9:31 PM

Way to go!

Growing up in Brooklyn, I never had those problems. But after I retired my husband and I lived in Dallas for 2 very long years. I got that "Oh, you're Jewish" comment a bunch of times playing bridge at senior centers. My " YES, I AM" (read that "and what do you plan on doing about it?") made people think twice. Couldn't wait to leave that town.

Pinchad,
December 25, 2013 12:32 AM

Amen

Way to go.

(53)
Salem,
March 8, 2012 7:12 PM

KICK-A!

I loved this story! It is important to show respect, but we bow to no one but G-d. I feel the author and I went through a lot of the same things in our school years, but he had much more guts than I. I hope every one who reads this gains a little more of the guts needed to be a Jew in a Non-Jewish society.

(52)
mel,
March 7, 2012 7:31 PM

wow, reminds me of something..

While reading this article I had to think of an event that happened in my childhood. My school class had to visit a famous catholic cathedrale for a whole day and when all other kids bowed down, I felt I couldn't. So I was just standing while the others were on their knees. Some were looking at me and a girl later asked me why I hadn't bowed down. I just said: "I'm not catholic."
I'm not yet jewish, but I'd like to convert, and this article has given me another "confirmation" that I may have a jewish soul indeed. thanks! :)

(51)
Zachary Benjamin Cohen,
March 7, 2012 5:36 PM

How about the thought of,, when we bow, we are bowing to our/The God, who resides in everyone? Have most of us not become familiar with the phrase, "Namaste"?? Not bowing to others becuz they're "better", but out of respectful equality because God resides in them all as well. Any thoughts???~Shalom* :)

Tonya,
March 9, 2012 4:51 PM

be wary of compromises

When you bow to a person, you are not bowing to "our/The God, who resides in everyone". You are acknowledging their authority, not an authority you choose to recognize. If an adult said to my child, "I want you to call me Mom," it would be an outrage. No one would suggest that the child should simply address the mother-figure of the person, or could mentally picture themselves addressing me instead. How much more of a compromise are we making when we find a way to justify doing that very thing that we are prohibited from doing, just because we have found a way to rationalize it?

Anonymous,
March 11, 2012 8:51 AM

Re comment by Zachary on bowing to everyone.

It's a nice thought. Hindus, for example, bow slightly on introductions, etc., meaning to acknowledge the divine spark in everyone. However, Jews and probably Muslims, too, generally don't because it is regarded as contradicting the 1st Commandment not to idol worship. One can be kind and respectful without indicating anything which could seem a bit like worshipping people. Another point is that people are made in G-d's image, (the Book of Genesis), yet people's behaviour ranges from angelic to very bad. If people always bow to everyone they meet it is really meaningless because what if nothing was known about someone who was bowed to, and then later it was discovered that the person was eg, a Nazi? So that is an added reason that the Jewish tradition against that custom is wise. Christians don't generally bow on introductions, either, though apparently not only handshakes but also a light hugging embrace seems to be the polite norm in some Christian and other gentile circles upon introductions, which seems inappropriate. Another point is that because of that custom, if ever there was an outbreak of an easily transmittable disease, it could result in a rapid spread before it was even detected in the community.
People like to feel that people are interested in what they have to say, so being a good listener and making good conversation is all that is needed for introductions to be pleasant for everyone.
Better to generally only bow to G-d.

(50)
Julia,
March 7, 2012 4:51 PM

We only bow for G-d. Man is equal to another man.

Your story is so touching. You also prove, how we jews are constantly living with our history. Mordechai did not bow because Haman was another man. We jews bow only to our G-d.

(49)
ruth housman,
March 7, 2012 12:22 PM

just an add to a very deep story

I want to add this, and that is, the reaction to your lack of bowing, your explanation, was so wrong, and that lacked total respect and understanding for your identity and religious differences. So in effect, I think this meant you were totally right in what you did, and that the lesson was for those who censured in this way. Learning tolderance and respect is a two way street, and so I admire what you did, and your analogies to Purim, a truly amazing story about love itself and risks.

Joshua,
March 7, 2012 3:21 PM

Jews don't bow down

your answer is juxtaposing from wrong to right. Make up your mind. For me, I don't care either way. We're all going to bow to the corporate masters or die because of them!

(48)
ruth housman,
March 7, 2012 12:19 PM

what is boughed down

I found this very interesting and deep, and totally respect what the author did, and what it meant to him, to be himself, to affirm his identity as a Jew, feeling deeply that Jews do not bow down. I never thought about it quite this way, and I understand the metaphor, about strength, about affirming individual identity, and it seems there are so many ways to bow, to others, as in giving way to our needs. I just had such an event in my life, being told by another how another's control issues meant I had to access those I loved in making advance arrangements to do this. It's hard for a person who lives with the spontaneity of love, and feels it's all right to show up for a quick hug, without upsetting the orderly way of doing business. Because it's important access, I had to bow down to them, meaning capitulate in ways that compromise my essential identity and how I show love.
We are all boughed by the weight of responsibility and sorrow in life, and that's another kind of bough that sometimes feels near the breaking point. How we act, in all ways, with courage and the fortitude of knowing we have an identity is crucial in all relationships. Most relationships are about give and take. So what would I do in a Church. Well I have bowed, meaning I got to my knees when others did, and for me it was about AWE, about respect, and it was also about G_d, as I feel that awe, in all.

(47)
Michal,
March 7, 2012 11:57 AM

I am delighted

I am delighted about that boy whose only knowledge of Judaism was "not to bow down" as a Jew" and it impresses me, that he never did it. He was stubborn. Of course, Hashem had made him a Jew. Sure, that in the end he found the way back to Judaism. God is like that. He can bring his children home, even if they live at the northpole and havent ever met a Jew. I know by own experience.-

(46)
Anonymous,
December 20, 2011 10:11 PM

I have heard an orthodox rabbi say that even kneeling in front of a king/queen as a sign of respect is permissible.So,I would like to know whether it is or is not permissible.Any helping answers will be EXTREMELY apreciated!Many thanks.

Jo,
March 7, 2012 12:42 PM

It is permissable as a sign of respect...

but not a full bow, so your eyes are downcast (ie, "in submission", just a little waist bow with eye contact maintained. This guy's article is phenomenal, isn't it!

(45)
mark r,
June 22, 2011 5:03 PM

inspiring story

great kid but unfortunately for every kid like this there are
probably 15-20 others they don't have chutzpah and the
knowledge to do what he did and leave Judaism and Yiddishkeit.
So the best thing for Aish to do ; is to find the kids and help
them repeat what happened to the gentleman here. Good Luck

(44)
Norman Nonken,
March 14, 2011 2:27 AM

I'm in my sixth decade of life

When I was growing up we never went to synagogue. One day my father told me to never bow. He never explained why and later I learned. Your story is so impressive.

(43)
Hadassah Chayim,
January 24, 2011 2:41 AM

I don't bow either.

Growing up with a Christian Jewish background I knew I was Jewish but there was a lot of Jesus worship. The more I identified with being Jewish the more I couldn't stand that people worshiped a human. I know what the trinity is and I understand how it works for them. But a human being a god? That is not something I will believe. I'm an Ex-Messianic Jew... and that is my main reason. Not all Messianic Jews see Jesus as God and I can understand where they are coming from more... in fact they seem more Jewish. I do NOT bow to any man or woman to worship them. They are not my G-d. Moses and many others did miraculous things... but they were human just like Jesus was human... but I will not bow to any of them. Mordechai is the exact example I have used... and I will continue to use. I do not bow to flesh and bone. Thank you for writing and/or posting this article. I felt i knew exactly where you were coming from.
Shalom,
Hadassah

(42)
,
July 19, 2010 1:03 AM

Big gifts come in small packages...

Gd gave you this tremendous gift of knowledge between right and wrong as a young boy... im not sure how many others would understand. TEACH ALL THE CHILDREN THE RIGHT WAY WHEN THEYRE YOUNG, SO THEY CAN MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES!

(41)
lee ann,
March 4, 2010 10:13 PM

I enjoyed the story. I'm encouraged by the strength in the words and can say that I don't bow except to the Lord . I've been fighting cancer and will keep fighting and trusting in Him.

(40)
Matt,
March 4, 2010 1:15 AM

Respect

I generally liked this article, however, as a Jewish officer in the American military I have faced the subtle dissaproval of many in the Jewish community over my choice of profession. I'm sensing similar antipathy when the author mentioned "proms, football teams, and fraternities". Going to the prom, playing ball, joining the Army (outside the TZAHAL), a fraternity, etc. doesnt make you any less a Jew. Not all of us are going to be small, bookish, hyper-educated neurotics in the Woody Allen tradition. Neither are all of us going to be wild eyed activists full of Chutzpah. We Jews are a colorful bunch, with many of us contributing to Tikkun Olam in our own unique ways, polite bow or not.

Shira,
March 22, 2011 1:22 AM

Good Job Matt

Great Outlook!

(39)
Anonymous,
March 2, 2010 11:15 AM

loved the article. i have six kids, 2 are to the right of modern orthodoxy, 3 are a little to the left of modern orthodoxy, and one of them is only 10 so he is still modern orthodox like his parents (whatever that means)
i like how the young man had a basic tenet in his soul that he stuck with and then learned more about it-good for him.
have a great shabbes and a freilachen purim

(38)
Jane Ellis,
February 28, 2010 7:21 PM

Jews do bow down

We are not to bow down to idols or our fellow man-but we do bow down before the Lord our God. Read Psalm 95:6 & 2 Chron. 29: 29 & 30 . I am humb led when I bow down befor my God.

(37)
ian Senior,
February 27, 2010 3:23 PM

living one's faith

I am not too sure if a 'bow' makes one less faithful to the truth or not, but I am certain that the courage displayed in these incidents clearly illustrated that there are, still, upon earth, individuals of the very finest character who will stand firm in their beliefs, in the face of adversity.
Quite admirable, Aaron.

(36)
Hanan druker,
February 26, 2010 5:30 PM

More evidence Jews bow

Judith reminds me of a valid point. The Midrash says that Mordechai did not bow due to the pagen symbols on Haman. This obviously implies that had there NOT been pagan symbols, Mordechai WOULD bow. Chazal make a point of stating WHY he did not bow. Had Jews not bow, they would not tell us this reason. They would simply state categorically "Jews Don't Bow, Ever!"..........But they didn't.

(35)
Judith,
February 26, 2010 7:03 AM

Why didn't Mordechai bow to Haman?

However, several sources explain Mordechai's refusal to 'bow' to Haman was because of the pagan symbol he wore on his clothing.

(34)
Becky,
February 26, 2010 3:40 AM

I agree!

Jews don't bow.Anyone who believes in the God of Abraham,Isac,and Jacob do not bow.Thanks so much for your story it is very great i will share it with my own children.

(33)
Anonymous,
February 26, 2010 12:12 AM

Beautiful story!!

You remind me of another who wouldn't bow down--Daniel--also the 3 in the fiery furnace!!!

(32)
jerry,
February 25, 2010 11:48 PM

95th Psalm

We bow to G-d. The issue is not whether, but rather to whom we respect. Also, the why of the gesture is pertinent.

(31)
Anonymous,
February 25, 2010 11:43 PM

we bow to Hashem doing moring sencris

we bow to HasHen doing moring sencris prayer

(30)
Randy,
February 25, 2010 11:30 PM

What about Great Britain? What about daily amidah?

I thought that Jews bow during the AMidah prayers, and also when her majesty the Queen approaches. Please correct me if I am in error.

(29)
Tiby Eilen,
February 25, 2010 9:37 PM

Important that Jason retained some part of his Judaism.

It's wonderful that Jews retain some part of Judaism even in difficult situations. Proud of you! Actually bowing to a person puts you in a subservient position in all cultures.

(28)
Anonymous,
February 25, 2010 6:53 PM

We only bow to God

Whilst I fully agree that we should never compromise by bowing down to western consumersim, there is a big difference between arrogant defiance and humility before The Almighty. Mordecai rightly stood up for our people, who were in danger of being oppressed by an intolerant tyrant, but he knew that it was the Lord who was working through him. Be very careful that you don't mix your motives for not'bowing' as you put it. We should never compromise who we are under G-d, but at the same time never raise yourself up by putting others who are not Jewish down. That is very danerous indeed.

(27)
Marco Andraca,
February 25, 2010 5:43 PM

I wish I had the same acceptance here

My mother told me a lot of years ago when she was still alive that she and consequently I were Jewish, that happened when we were living in the US. I moved to Mexico City a few years ago and tried to reconcile with my roots. I found a Jewish teacher, but his attitude towards me was that of total rejection. The Jewish community here are very closed and I haven't been able to get acquaintance with the Jewish tradition. Nonetheless, I could buy some Jewish literature about religion and costums. I celebrate my Shabbat and all the Jewish celebration as I understand. Hopefully, someone would be willing to teach me and guide me towards the Judaism path.

(26)
Efraim Katz,
February 25, 2010 5:42 PM

OK, Jews Bow, But Only to Hashem (G-d)

Wow. The simple statement that "Jews don't Bow" is both correct and powerful. It deserves one simple addition, though. Jews don't bow to anyone... BUT HASHEM (G-D).
We bow at the beginning of the Shemona Esrei (Amidah; silent prayer), we bow to the King of Kings in Aleinu (a prayer so powerful that a born-Jewish convert to Christianity felt a need to distort as an indictment of the Jews), we bow in acknowledgment at many parts in our personal prayer.
He deserves our submission to His ways.
We don't bow to flesh and blood, even if He did create them.
My profound respect to the young man who somehow knew that and practiced it. Jewish law and tradition is not chutzpah, even if you're not fully aware of them at the time.

(25)
Dr. Michael Zidonov,
February 25, 2010 5:08 PM

Why All the Discussion ???

A Frum Jew does NOT bow, to any thing or any Person except Ha'Shem ... Period.

(24)
alex,
February 25, 2010 2:44 PM

didnt bow down

Yosef as well as Binyamin didn't bow to Eisav

(23)
Anonymous,
February 25, 2010 12:44 AM

the spark that can't be extinguished

There are so many beautiful stories of completely assimilated Jews rediscovering their roots, guided by an inner intuition. I also found myself at some conflict with my environment in Texas, and later became religious during late high school when my family relocated to a Jewish community.
Thank you so much for sharing such an inspirational story.

(22)
Hanan Druker,
February 24, 2010 5:09 AM

Jews DO Bow

We have to learn everything in context. Jews have always bowed. European Jews have always bowed before a 'superior.' That was the rule and Jews obeyed. As someone else mentioned plenty of biblical characters have bowed. Mordechai does not bow. It is a mystery. So chazal try to fill in this gap with a Midrash that he would not bow because Haman's coat had idols on it. But as I mentioned before, Jews have always bowed in Europe and that included bowing to priests with big large crosses on them.

(21)
Betti Miner,
February 23, 2010 10:29 PM

Jews don't bow

I really liked the story about the young man who refused to bow in the church and they had the chutzpah to punish him!!! I feel that a Jew should never bow to anyone but HaShem, I study yoga and we bow but I bow to the One who made me, HaShem and no one else. I use meditation as well to clear my mind so I can pray to HaShem. Thank you

(20)
Beverly Kurtin,
February 23, 2010 9:43 PM

Ever go to shul?

Near the end of Aleinu we bow and stay bowed for several seconds. Yes, we Jews DO bow; it depends on who we are bowing to and why. During Yom Kippur services we also, in some Orthodox shuls PROSTRATE ourselves. We do NOT bow to other human beings which is why Haman got his ire up. At this moment in history we have another Haman who has plans for us, I spell his name Imanutjob. And, unfortunately, we have much of the Arab world who would like to see us disappear. Well, it ain't going to happen and we are NOT going to bow to Imanutjob or any other person.

(19)
Anonymous,
February 23, 2010 8:41 PM

jason, stop it please, if you want to bow please do but since mordehaï jws dont bow, thats it

(18)
Anonymous,
February 23, 2010 9:29 AM

When I placed in an orphanage, as a little girl not ever being taught anything about a religion, but hearing my mother praying just to G~d whenever. I was place there because of my mother being so sick. The nuns would hit my little hands so many times that they would bring blood to the surface of my hands and I would cry, remember I was just a little girl. My mother so sick in the hospital. They would get angry because I would not sing the songs they sang to Jesus because I in my heart and soul only worshiped G~d. They would pull my long pretty hair, and eventually they cut it off.
Late at night they would give me ice-cream to keep me from crying, but it didn't work, I refused to worship their god. My grandparents came from Spain finding this out when I was 50 years old. Anusim is what my past parents were. How could I have known this? Only G~d could have have me do this.
I magine that, there is so much more to my story
Thanks for the story, a great one!

(17)
Anonymous,
February 23, 2010 9:28 AM

I thought the Purim story was really wonderful & very inspiring. It made me cry! Being a baal teshuva and knowing many as well, it does ring true.

(16)
alwaysrunswithscissors,
February 23, 2010 2:08 AM

This is awesome

Really neat. Just goes to show you that the Jewish spark within all Jewish souls shines out when put against the wall.
Mazel tov that Hashem gave you such experiences and loved you so much He helped you all the way.

(15)
josiedavis,
February 22, 2010 6:56 PM

Very relevant & moving story.

This made me cry, it was so true to life & inspirational.

(14)
Jason,
February 22, 2010 6:01 PM

It's not if you bow it's to whom and why.

Maybe modern Jews don't but to say Jews don't bow is not entirely correct as Moses bowed before Jethro, Abraham bowed before the people of the land Hittites even, David bowed before Jonathan etc., etc., the long list of men and women more humble and righteous then probably all us should at the least cause us to ask to whom they bowed to, under what circumstance, and why.

(13)
Anonymous,
February 22, 2010 5:26 PM

Bowing is for patsies!

Thanks for the inspiration on an otherwise dreary day, Azriel. Subjugation comes in many forms; but all are ugly.
As one in the process of converting to Judaism from Christianity, were it not for the courage and determination I have witnessed in the Jewish people - I would have lost all faith in humankind. This is true!

(12)
Rabbi Aryeh Moshen,
February 22, 2010 4:04 PM

This goes to show

that we should not take anything for granted. This young man was taught one thing in a reform venue and it stayed with him giving him the Chizuk he needed until he could desire and seek more.

(11)
YORRICKS,
February 22, 2010 3:00 PM

Stepping over a self created line,is only possible with realization of truths.

As you have discovered in your life,there are many variations on the same theme,therefor nothing may be cast in stone except an absolute,RACHEL above,is right,to bow as a mark of genuine respect that has been truly earned is a favour and blessing you convey to another person who is worthy of it.To bow as a matter of fear or subjugation is as you feel it to be--->abhorent and not to be entertained at any cost.In this respect are we not talking just about personal manly pride.

(10)
Anonymous,
February 22, 2010 2:28 PM

I hope it is ok for me to write here. I'm a Texan too. I would like to apologize for the treatment you received at St. Andrews school. It was wrong. There behavior wounded you. I hope you will be able to forgive them. Thank you for your article.

(9)
Anonymous,
February 22, 2010 1:53 PM

From Jewish Day School to "Saint Andrews"

I am amazed how parents can move their children from a Jewish Day School to "Saint Andrews". I have experienced the same situation in two states. I wonder if those children have to bow when they go to church?

(8)
Anonymous,
February 22, 2010 3:43 AM

Following your convictions

You could write a book "Jewish boy expelled from church, wouldn't conform". Think of all those kids that were forced to conform. You are to be commended for following your conviction, and continued even though you knew there could be unfriendly consequences. Awesome about the 6 Jewish classmates, the unlikely place of Moscow. Daniel continued to bow to God, and was thrown into the lions den. And others who have bowed, but in their heart it was unto God, not any other image, for God who knows the hearts and minds of his people, knows it is unto him. The moral of sharing your life experience, I think it's about following your convictions, even when the consequences are not favorable. Be true to thyself.

(7)
ruth,
February 21, 2010 9:39 PM

how the bough breaks

I think we are entitled always to practice our faith, and that an attempt to force anyone to act in ways contrary to what they feel is right, has to be wrong, when it comes to tradition and a deep seated belief system that hurts no one. Your story followed an arc or bow, as in rainbow.

(6)
Rachel,
February 21, 2010 6:28 PM

Bowing

Surely there is a difference between bowing down to something or someone (whether Haman, the Christian symbols in church, etc) vs. other types of bowing?
I am a professional actress, and my union has fought for all performers to have the RIGHT to "take a bow" at the end of each performance when some producers have tried to leave out certain cast members (e.g. the villainous character, minor roles, etc.) While an actor's bow originally was meant as a gesture of one-sided respect to thank the audience for attending, it is now regarded as a joint opportunity -- we thank them for attending, and they thank us for our work by applauding.
Similarly, I don't see how a social bow (infrequently practiced in the US today but still prevalent in Britain in the presence of royalty, as well as in Asia) can be seen as improper. It seems no different to me than rising when an important person deserving of respect enters a room -- be it one's rabbi, one's parent, or the President of the United States. I'd love to hear more about this from Aish.

(5)
Anonymous,
February 21, 2010 5:49 PM

The Jewish Neshama

Great Story showing the power of the soul!

(4)
abilgail,
February 21, 2010 5:12 PM

awesome story!

very inspiring for Purim!

(3)
Rachel,
February 21, 2010 4:44 PM

Interesting Story...

I liked the story, and its relation to Purim. However, I was struck by a few points. Why did the Headmaster expell you if you had an agreement about your conduct at the services? Also, were the other four Jewish boys expelled as well? The school accepted you and the other Jewish boys, yet seemed so unwilling to accommodate you.

(2)
Anonymous,
February 21, 2010 4:05 PM

Thank you

You remind me of a young man who was hit, slammed and severely beaten because he refused to acknowledge a false god. That young man kept saying "I only have One, etc." I think that Hashem's love lives within us all. How can we bow before any other if we have the Real? Thank you.

(1)
Rosen,
February 21, 2010 3:38 PM

great read on keeping our heads up!

That was a really great read on why we Jews should keep our heads up high and not bow down to anyone short of G-d. It made me think that when we're depressed holding our heads down, then that too is idolatry. All in all, it shouldn't come as a surprise that the new Jews who return home are essentially the same as the old Jews, particularly those involved in the Purim story.