Okay Basically, Theirs this guy who i really like and ive known him for about 2 years now, hes sweet, hes funny and i can be completely myself with him. Anyway a few months ago he told me he loved me so i was really happy and we started meeting up out of school with some other mates and holding hands and even a kiss on the cheek. this went on for about 3weeks and just as i though things couldnt get any better. i ask him out and he says no. turns out that in the week i had been off school a new girl moved to our school and we found out she was a lesbian. shes chinese and the guy i like has this wierd obsession with asian girls i am not asian:S See i dont really mind him liking her but it does annoy me the fact that he only likes her coz shes asian. Then my best friend who i tell everything too got annoyed at the guy i like and tells him that he shouldnt hang out with me anymore. this didnt please me and i managed to persuade the guy to come out again. After that the guy i like went through this wierd depressed stage where there was constantly somthing on his mind. eventually i managed to get him out of it and he started saying i love you again and asked me to go to his house. I did. and the whole time i was there even though he had promised me he wouldnt try anything unless i wanted too, he was trying to 'do things' but i wouldnt let him because allthough i think hes the right person i just dont think that was the right time. after that i got called frigid and my really annoying ex has called me that before so i flipped out big time and stopped talkin to him but i cudnt cope with it and after 2 days we were cool again. hes gone back into his depressed mode again now he still likes the asian girl but he needs to learn that just coz he cant get her dont mean he can just come running back to me when all else fails. last night we had a big argument because of his perminant depressed mood and him letting every1 change him. i refuse to talk to him until the sit cools down. but what the hell do i do? am i just completely useless with guys? or do i jus think too much?

It will be hard if you really like him ,but try not to make yourself so available to this guy.If he thinks it will be easy to come back to you every time he cant have someone else,you will constantly be used by him.Even if its hard and you hate it,keep your distance and have fun with your friends just ignore him till he decides what he wants,and if he says its you,make sure he knows he doesnt do it again or thats it you will not keep hanging around for him.And well done for not letting him pressure you into anything you didnt want to do either.

I agree with Kerrie, make him realise that he can't just have you whenever he wants. Don't make yourself available to him whenever he starts paying more attention to you. I know he said he loves you but he also keeps going back to saying that he likes this asian girl, it sounds like he can't make up his mind and he knows that you'll be waiting for him when he wants someone. I think that you should stick to being just friends, that means not going round his house when he asks you, maybe try to see him in public places only if you do want to meet him. Well done for resisting him and having the courage to say no to him.

Take care

~ Vision is knowing who you are, where you are going, and what will guide your journey ~

TO me you seem like this guys doormat. When things are not going great with the asian girl he comes back to you. I think he needs to understand that this asian girl is a lesian anyway, so i doubt he has a chance anyway. Its not up to you to get him out of his depression modes, to be honest he is not your responsability, and you should not feel as if you have to get him out of them.

You mentioned he said he loves you, and he holds you hand and kisses you on the cheek. Well it seems to me that he likes the attention from you, this is also why he tried to do things with you. If he loved you as much as he said he did then he would not try and pressure you into doing things you did not want to do. Dotn ever feel pressured into anything, do it when YOUR ready not when everyone else is ready.

Dont panic about being called a fridgit. I have been called it many of times, i just took no notice, and found a boy that i loved and respected, and he respected me. WE have been together a while now, and we have now had sex. But dont make anyone rush you.

I think the best thing to do is to tell this boy straight that he cant keep using you as his swing back, tell him he has to make up his mind, because its not fair on you. It May be harsh, but it needs doing. You need to tell this dude that he cant keep using you as a swing back when ever things are not going great for him, because you are not going to be second best. Its going to be hard for you to get over him, because you seem to really like him. But it will happen, and you will get over him, It may take a while, but you will...

don't ever allow yourself to be someones second best. If they don't want you and you only you will get really hurt.

he is calling you fridgid in the hope you will do stuff so you are not frigid, well done for not giving in

if you want to be friends thats fine but you need to realise there is no point in having a relationship, i think he would just be using you. However judging by his depressive state is this really the kind of person you want as a friend?

hana.15 wrote:Dotn ever feel pressured into anything, do it when YOUR ready not when everyone else is ready.

Dont panic about being called a fridgit. I have been called it many of times, i just took no notice, and found a boy that i loved and respected, and he respected me. WE have been together a while now, and we have now had sex. But dont make anyone rush you.

Heyy Peoples:) I jus wanna say thankyou soo much for your replys they helped me out so much!im still in the sticky situation but with all your help things are starting to turn out pretty good. Hes not been as obsessed with the asian girl since i last commented and hes gone back to his normal self more. Im Trying to get over him but still finding it hard. But anyway thankyou so much everyone i appreciate it loads xxxxxx

Sounds like a hard situation to handle, to me it sounds like this guy is just walking all over you, if he loves you like he says he does then he would have respected you when you said no to doing "things" with him. There are plenty of guyss out there lovely, and there are ones that will treat you a lot better than this guy did! I say you get out there and strut your stuff, find a new romance and move on. Also i dont understand the fact that he likes this lesbian asian girl, not being funny but if shes a lesbian, why is he wasting his time? Sounds like a bit an idiot to me, when he has a girl like you who cares a lot about him standing there wanting him why doesnt he grab you with both hands, stupid gypsy. Lol. Chin up hunny, get out there and have some fun