Scientology Officially Probing the Village Voice!

We've just received confirmation that ace reporter Jim Lynch has been handed a new assignment, and that assignment is us!

Today, he called a PR firm in San Francisco that we used to work with, asking about "the finances of the Village Voice."

The finances of the Voice? Hey, Jim, when you find out about that, let us know!

Our friends at the PR firm were very puzzled, and let me know that a "rather unstable gentleman named James Lynch working for Freedom magazine" had called.

Yep, that's our Jim!

We've seen Lynch work over the years, and it is something to behold. Apparently, he actually had a real career at a legitimate newspaper (and if you worked with Jim back in the day, how about giving me a call to fill me in with the details?), but these days, he's the hired gun for Scientology and its disinformation organ, Freedom.

Lynch, camerman, bodyguard: Voice employees, get ready for this kind of treatment!

In August, Freedom was in the news for its hilariously stupid parody of New Yorker magazine, which attempted to slime writer Lawrence Wright and Crash director Paul Haggis.

Although the articles carried no bylines, the work was pure Lynch: disjointed, illogical collections of calumny, based on the flimsiest of evidence. In other words, a hoot! And now he's going to write one about us? Oh, won't my friend Janet Reitman be jealous! (If we didn't have a dinner bet on who was going to get a Lynch story first, we should have.)

What's it like to be interviewed by Jim Lynch? Well, he's been caught on video plenty of times, but this is one of the best. It should give you a sense of the intelligence of his questions and his endearing style (he's the one in the tie):

Charming, isn't he?

Well, we don't even want to wait around to see what Jim will write about us. We know how smart our commenters are, so please, do Jim's job and write the intro for his story. The more vile and disgusting you can make the Voice sound as it poisons the country with its filth, the better!

“Jim Lynch” does Tony Ortega There’s a reason that respected Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio calls Tony Ortega “lower than scum”. The tabloid hack hasn’t passed the ‘sniff’ test since his name was first linked to a corruption scandal in 1996.

"The Village Voice, which must be filthy place to work because its in densely crowded Manhattan--unlike our (empty) orgs, which are spotless--has an SP, Tony Ortega, as its editor. Ortega is obviously a drug dealer since his family is from Northern Mexico. He has also sat by while his paper celebrated the approval of gay marriage, the most SP-laden activity. Worst yet, a lot of his friends see Psychs, the most evil group on the planet. We are convinced he must be a Nazi. What is really troubling, though, is how he espouses hatred, intolerance and bigotry with little or no evidence..."

Scientologists, feel a responsibility to clean up the environment (in this case the media environment} from merchant of chaos, who only intentions are to protect their dirty interests.

We do not accepts attacks on our great religion made by sexual perverted or by people who seeks to profit by constantly engaging in unethical behavior.

Scientologists are one of the most ethical individuals in this society and that is evidently bothering few people who seems to be unable to live to a more rational level of morals.

As a matter of fact those "hate-mongers", which is a good definition at describing them, are ONLY spreading hate propaganda with only one purpose: to instill fear in the uninformed. Those who commit such acts are well aware that, left unchallenged, their lies will propagate and breed further acts of hatred, even violence.

The usual commenters pro-Ortega in here are just the same few people better known for their questionable background of their miserable lives, plus few members of Anonymous hate cult who know nothing about SCN except what their hatred dictates.

In a rational individual's mind , hate speech, bigotry and anti-religious extremism, are very negative factors and they should be countered and thwarted, especially when this disgusting behavior is coming from people that behind the fake mask of "journalism" are full inside the business of "inciting prostitution" or "pimping".

What gives those dirty people the authority to judge a religious movement and a religious practical philosophy that they can't or don't even want to comprehend???

It's like asking a prostitution-managing-racket to give an opinion about the Catholic Church.

WHEN PRESS IS USED TO SUPPRESS: Village Voice - Merchants Of Chaos Defined.

(Press Release)

There are great many people of good will in this world who care and speak about important things that affect us all, people who also do something about it. Things like globing warming, celebrities influencing our civilization for the better and how we can help homeless people to be less homeless and more spiritual, in a good way, when they are more able. You name it.

The great number of independent media sources and individuals with true integrity, pursuing nothing but the truth, devoted years and years for research and investigation to find the answers to these vital questions. We would like to thank them for that, in a deep, profound way. Thanks.

Now, there are funny, "news" people that we would like to warn and educate our well-intentioned readers about, "news" people that are basically wolfs in a sheep skin. Those people are not even people, since they choose to be religious Nazis (Hellboy movie, anyone? Yeah...) and to abandon the human race altogether. They are full of hate (of human rights), intolerance and most of all - fear of others discovering their criminal crimes, so despicable, unethical and deviant, like having naked sex - they are terrified to be discovered... Think For Yourself. You Got The Idea. Yes, You.

That brings us to a little blog no one heard about (and no one ever will, aside of zombies commenters that try to keep it alive), apparently managed by a soulless, sexually excited impotent entity named Tony (TurtleBoy) Tortega, (Go White Castle, peeps LOL), who decided to make fun of the most ethical group on the planet, while he had his mariShuana munchies (with prostitutes(, after he was drinking Vodka mixed with Beer and LSD (imagine the hangover, kids, even if you paid by Big Pharma, haha), so yeah...

Most people can recognize the TRUTH, even when the criminal nazi jew weirdos attack it...- SCIENTOLOGY (defined): clear your words, don't rape the babies, move up The Bridge, donate fixedly, get trained too, OT VIII/Objectives/Fun..

"Long known for his weak-minded debauchery, the postmodern fabulist criminal Tony Ortega is celebrated in the insane asylums of America as a 72 hour frequent flyer following his wild excursions into the most vile, illegal, and dangerous behaviors -- all of which take place in public and often in view of innocent families and the elderly.

"Tony Ortega does not care who gets hurt or whom he offends when he goes on his sexually disturbing drug-fueled rampages. So quite naturally the filth purveyor Village Voice was only too pleased to hire Ortega to write and edit the toxic swill it serves up daily to its audience of deviants and registered sex offenders. All of which explains why Ortega and the Village Voice repeatedly attack the Scientology religion.

"Only by attacking Mankind's greatest hope can Ortega ever hope to wipe clean the vile public toilet seat that is his soul. Only by attacking the Church of Scientology can the Village Voice reassure its lurid audience of chronic and violent felons who masturbate several times a day to its vulgar and syphilitic "journalism" that the criminal lifestyle, pedophilia, shoplifting, murder for hire, and the entire gamut of lawbreaking is all perfectly acceptable under the rubric of alternative lifestyles...."

Attn Freedom Mag: I can do a much better hatchet job than that Jim Lynch. Please contact me for the schedule of fixed donations for my services.

Well, if you listened to the Village Voice, you'd think our orgs were empty, our staff beaten like Chinese gongs and our public Scientologists dispirited and despondent. Sure, you'd also get the impression that our Celebrity Centre was full to the brim, but with self-absorbed, insecure, magical-thinking gits who are desperate for quack cures and long sessions of disingenuous fawning with one endpoint: separating them from their moolah. But could that possibly be true when what's true is what's true for you?

But we are different. We have a hero. We have L. Ron Hubbard. Once crowned "Friend of Mankind" as well as being an avid ascot wearer, L. Ron Hubbard once wrote . . . "I was smoking a Kool on the rings of Saturn the other day—and, uh, this is totally factual—when I came across a piece of M27 that someone or other had left there for an enterprising, exteriorized person to find. And in this M27 implant I found that the Fifth Invader Force was devising a plan to start time traveling and collecting Green Stamps in the 21st century and ruin the economy of Teegeeack by dumping them all at one time and flooding the market. Well, I knew something had to be done and that the Psychs and a lefty-leaning newspaper editor would most likely be in on it, you know, and such and therefore."

I know, it seems shocking and strange, but this IPACAC OBT COM PL Dated Sept. 3, 1957 has led us down a path, a path that as decent citizens we didn't want to go down. A path of treachery, hate, nazis, incontinence pads, ashtrays and lies that leads directly to New York City and the tawdry, urine-filled slop bucket of the fourth estate that is this so called "editor's" personal megaphone of u-American rancor. But we're not decent citizens, we're Scientologists! We're the only ones who can help! So sit back with a frosty CalMag and hold on to your hats, as we uncover the truth about Turtleboy's delusional, lie-infested, sodomy-soaked hate mill called . . . The Village Voice.

It's high time you pornographers got yours. You won't be able to hide that your financing comes from al qaeda much longer. You are caught in an electronic field and doomed to interiorize into a rock for the next trillion years.

CITIZENS of Teegeeack have voiced their disugst at Freedom's shock revelations last night that gutter news journal, 'The Village Voice', is being edited by a man with a beard.

"I felt sick to my stomach," commented 39-year-old Tommy Davis. The Los Angeles resident continued: "I mean it's disgusting, innit? I'm not a bigot but these people with beards, well it's just not natural.

"Like, it's up to these beardies what they do in their own homes but this vile man, Tony Ortega, is even flaunting a picture of his beard on Facebook where children could see it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a beardest but at least my own dear mother has the decency to shave hers off."

Condemnation has been flowing into Freedom's offices from all over America. In Clearwater, Fl, professional midget, David Miscavige, squeaked: "It's an abomination. These wannabe furries should be rounded up and deported to England where they can live with others of their kind, smoking pipes and attending meetings of CAMRA."

Meanwhile, Freedom's Chief Investigative Reporter, Jim Lynch, has confirmed a dossier of information has been passed to the FBI, CIA, MI5 and MFI.

"We discovered unsettling evidence that The Village Voice has been carrying adverts for false beards in children's sizes in the back pages of their newspaper. Advertising staff at the Voice tried to claim these were only for little people who want to take part in productions of 'Snow White', but we believe there is an organised ring of beardophiles who are seeking to traffick these items to third graders and are using the classifieds section of the newspaper to do so."

Lynch continued: "I would personally like to thank Ashton Kutcher for the hard work he has carried out in infiltrating the dark world of beardies lately by sporting a luxuriant growth on his face and am urging President Obama to confer the Congressional Medal of Twitterdom on him for these services.."

Demi Moore was awarded a Purple Helmet earlier today in Washington for rash injuries she sustained to her inner thighs.

My guess is they'll list off all the reasons why they aren't being crippled which will be followed up by a list of all the shiny new buildings they just purchased. "We're expanding like never before!" They'll manufacture and insinuate plenty of crimes that you've never committed and as per usual, hilarity will ensue. I'm still in stitches over the fact that they tried to go toe-to-toe with the New Yorker.

I used to wait for the FBI, but then I moved on.I used to wait for the Federal authorities, but then I moved on.I used to wait for the IRS, but then I moved on.I used to wait for the State Attorneys, but then I moved on.I used to wait for the County Sheriff, but then I moved on.I used to wait for the

[..] my sources tell me that Tortega has been known to frequent abortion clinics trash bins to not only have sex with aborted fetus', but to also ingest their remains with hope to use the stem cells to fix his sexual problems. [...]

"--Turns out the Village voice isn't just for wrapping fish. Apparently, one can also use it to arrange paid sex with a minor, (or with a little more research, with a miner). But to Tony Ortega, abberated sex pervert and Ed. in Chief of Village Voice, it's all in a day's work, and then some. In the comments section of one of his rabidly antireligion blogposts he admits "Alas, I am too busy with [antireligious hate activities] to actually do any pimping." Need some "personal" time, eh Tony?"

As dead-on as my prognostication of the subsequent Freemag article WILL BE, I would like to forfeit any prizewinnings that may result. I used highly advanced OT powers to visit the future, unfairly skewing the game in my favor.

I'd ask the child-diddling Catholic church why it feels it is morally empowered to judge the sex lives of others.

The CO$, a money suck with zero moral value, is morally beneath the Catholic Church. And you Matcotai, are an enabler for the worst that we can be. The more rational one is, the less moral the CO$ appears to be.

No Marco, the problem is that we do understand it. We've read Hubbard's batshit crazy books, some of us have spent decades and hundreds of thousands of dollars in thrall to this cult. It's not that we are uninformed, it's that we know too much about this criminal racket masquerading as a religion. Your humorless entry into Turtleboy's competition is a big fail.

Ohai, OSAbot! Isn't sex usually done naked? Are $cilons discouraged from naked sex? How odd.
How can somebody be a Nazi and a Jew at the same time? That's kind of a contradiction in terms. Furthermore, "Jew" in itself is not an insult. "Asshat" is. You're one. Thanks for playing!

YES! It is all true! Also,His youngest brother wrote an essay extolling the virtues of being a homosapien!His great-aunt expired from a degenerative disease!And his nephew subscribes to a phonographic magazine!Despicable family this is!

Whose been hacking into Freedumbs computers then, theft of Intellectual Property is a serious crime (far outways anything Jan Eastgate may have allegedly done!).A journalist life is difficult enough without weeks of hard work been stollen and pasted up all over the internet!

That's right--Ortega says NOTHING about our rapid expansion of empty orgs, or how we help people like Lisa McPherson discard their body, or how LRH discovered the health benefits of heavy smoking, or how Scientologists have used our technology to earn $50 a week in the Sea Org. So we hurt wogs, so what?

At this point, Robert, I'm still of the mind that the website you took that from was, in fact, written by the sex prohibitionist folks and not Scientology. But you're right, the method and terminology will probably turn out to be strikingly similar!

Eliyahu Jones: You are a squirrel and an SP! Report to Ethics for your mandatory beatings! You are not from the future. By actual investigation you have been spotted as an agent of SMERSH. Your cover is blown along with that of the criminal mastermind Tony Ortega.Continuing in our hard-hitting investigation of Tony Ortega we have found that as a boy he was a chronic bedwetter. Cured of bedwetting at age sixteen by a German psychiatrist using PDH (pain/drugs/hypnosis), Ortega has nevertheless continued to wet his bed for purely sexual reasons. Out ethics bedwetting is the least of Ortega's problems however. When Ortega is not huffing cans of pilfered spray paint at local construction sites, when he is not exposing himself on the subways, when he is not luxuriating in his lavish collection of furry-themed porn with his pal Ebner, it seems Ortega busies himself with attempting to destroy the spiritual freedom of others. Specifically, Ortega attacks the Church of Scientology because it stands squarely in the way of his desire to destroy all that is good and decent in order that the world be dragged down to his level, which is to say that Ortega wants all people to be insane churlish bedwetting SP's who oppose others freely and generously giving large, unrefundable donations to the International Association of Scientologists. Tony has never blown charge in session. What does this tell you? When the readers of the Village Voice finally cognite that the Wall of Fire is the problem and that Scientology is the cure then they will know why Ideal Orgs exist to get people up the Bridge. Why is it so hard for Ortega to understand that there is a Bridge you go up? This fact is self-evident to any person that has F/N'd on the EP of OT VII -- which is to say that Solo is where it's at. Unless of course you go clear on the L's. But I digress. Here is the stable datum:Tony Ortega = Evil Bastard. The Church of Scientology = Good and good for you.