Five most irritating types of cycling friends

Mike Cooper

27 November 2018

You ride together often, you are friends, and yet there are some fundamental, irritating things about these riders’ habits that drive you nuts. Here are our top five irritation factors in our own group of riders — maybe you feel our pain…

No-inner-tube guy

He didn’t bring that with him. Credit: Getty Images

This guy never brings a spare inner tube with him on group rides. He always relies on other people to have one or more on board, and he can’t seem to see the problem with never having the gear with him. The annoying thing is, the rest of his gear is tip-top. We suspect that he just wants to look like a professional, and so he has no little bag under his saddle and no big bumps in his pockets, as he often doesn’t carry a pump either.

Never-looks-after-bike guy

No, this guys never does this, and never will. He won’t pay for it either.

This rider never looks after his bike. Imagine: you set off on that wonderful organised ride, which cost a lot of money. It was quite an effort to get to the hotel, and then to the start. The logistics to get everyone organised was a pain but it was really worth it because the day’s going to be great. So you set off, with 170km of challenging ride ahead. The sun is shining; the spirits are high. But in the first corner this guy’s pedal will break off, his chain will snap, or his derailleur will be mangled in his back wheel. He never looks after his bike and neither does he spend the money on getting it looked after. Everybody must wait as a mechanic is found with the right tools, and then new parts must be acquired and fitted.

The crasher

There goes the crasher again. Credit: Getty Images

This dreamer is somehow always looking the wrong way at the wrong time and comes off his bike. He is usually not badly injured. But he will demand the attention of the whole group. He is always “shaken” and then blames the gravel, the road, the corner, the tyres — anything except himself for bringing his bike down. But, he’s always the only one who falls off. Weird.

No-cash rider

Credit: Getty Images

We all know this rider. He’s no problem when he’s off the bike. But on rides when you stop along the way, for coffee and a snack, he’s never got cash on him. Never.

Unfit guy

He was a good rider when he was younger. Credit: Getty Images

This guy says he’s ready and trained and will join the group for a long tour. He’ll go really hard for the first 50km. He will then blow up completely as he has not been training properly. He is somehow convinced that, because he could ride well when he was younger, he still can do so. Without any training. If he is to stay with the group, everyone else will have to ride with the hand-brake on.

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