April 28, 2013

City urges residents to prepare for hipster season

As downtown Knoxville readies for Urban Outfitters to open in the Arnstein Building at the corner of Market Street and Union Avenue, the city is urging residents to take special precautions due to an anticipated increase in hipster activity. Charles Bazyn, the city's hipster management coordinator, said that Market Square is expected to see a significant rise in ironic snobbery this spring and summer. "We're regionally located in an area that has had a high frequency of hipsters over the last several years," he said. "I think this summer is only going to be worse. Definitely if you hear the hipster siren when you are downtown, that means it's time to go inside a place that is not a coffee shop or a bar selling Pabst Blue Ribbon. And if you see someone with a moustache wearing a scarf and thick black glasses, don't stop and try to take a picture. Just get the hell out of there."