I was a sprightly Adonis of 25 when I came in here. An unfortunate allergy to electrical tape and the subterranean attentions of a certain person have reduced me to this withered husk of 51. GET OUT WHILE YOU..... (gasp! wheeze! pant!).... where was I?

I was a sprightly Adonis of 25 when I came in here. An unfortunate allergy to electrical tape and the subterranean attentions of a certain person have reduced me to this withered husk of 51. GET OUT WHILE YOU..... (gasp! wheeze! pant!).... where was I?