or was she being rude?

There is one mum who is always dressing nicely, loads of make up etc- Seems to take a lot of care over her appearance. I, on the other hand, am a total slob and do the school run in jeans and no make up. I don't know if this is relevant- I'm hoping you can tell me!So, for a change, I made an effort- Nice clothes, make up, hair etc. I don't know this other mother well, only to chat to at the gates, and I chatted with her a bit in a group at the restaurant. I am a bit nervous in these kinds of situations, but I was having a great time and started to relax.

Other mum went out for a bit- For a joint, I suspect, and when she came back, she came to talk to me, seperated us from the group, and said, "Why are you so distant tonight, Gandalfy?" I was surprised at this- I didn't think I was distant- and said so. She then said, "for God's sake, you need to sort out your social skills." She smiled as she said it, but it wasn't a joke iyswim.

I don't really have a problem with the joint either. I know I should just dismiss her as a cow, but I know that my social skills are a bit shit and it's made me a bit worried that the other mums feel the same.

You know, I thinkshe is used to being top dog (top bitch?) in the group, and is making sure she keeps her position by unsettling you - it is workig because now you are doubting yourself through her rude comment.

You're right, of course. I don't know about "top dog" but I think she's used to being the glam one, which, frankly, is fine by me- I can't be arsed with all that preening just to pick my kids up in the pouring rain.

SOunds like the silly cow is insecure and so may have picked up on your nervousness and whacked you with it. Try not to let her get to you. She is not worth it. Maybe she has to always be immaculate to make herself feel better which is not a problem - only is she starts to use her insecurities against other people!

Urgh she sounds insecure and is trying to make herself feel better. I recently moved abroad and got a job here. I have a good grasp of the language but have a lot of room to improve. Because of this I was a little shy at the beginning, but I am very friendly to everyone and I will help anyone with anything at all. I thought I was getting on really well with everyone and fitting it. DP and I went to a works' party and a member of staff said in front of everyone, 'Andchips are you enjoying work? You seem very distant a lot of the time.'

I had no idea why he said it at all, I though I got on well with the man fgs. I felt really wrong footed and uncomfortable.

I have since noticed he does this, he draws you in by being friendly and kind, you think you're keeping up and then he says something to trip you up and make you feel awkward.

Had a 2 hour conversation with him in his native language one day, and he told me I had really improved, and then he told the other colleagues (while I was there) that I can't speak the language at all! Er... dickwad, I obviously can we just had a conversation in it.