Not Your Average Wife

I think differently. I cannot live in a world where I do not ask my own questions and come up with my own answers. Society, in many ways is incorrect.
I am a Wife and Mother of 4 beautiful children.
My son has Autism, he is high functioning and dynamic little boy.
And I have 3 daughters 4 years old and under. My ever energetic beauties. I struggle with much but am striving to being.. just a better me. God help me get there.

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

It has been so long since I have wrote. And I am going to tell you why.

No one wants to read what I write. No one cares what I write and I have nothing smart to write.

Ok, now that I got those nasty thoughts out of my head, I am going to share.

I have made some amazin life choices in the last few months. Choices that were harder to make and say I would do and just do it then speak about it.

Quit secular music totally. I do not miss it. Although I did at first, I twitched a bit the first week or two. But after a month and seeing Beyonce talk on youtube.com about Sasha her "alter (demon) ego". I was good, and I feel so much better. I really did not like the songs I was singing, my kids were singing. The way it was making me want to dance, it wasn't godly. And was not worshipping God. So I sold my zumba wii game and just dance game. Don't miss it and don't need it. If its not telling God how blessed I am or pure worship to Him I am not singing or listening to it. And my depression is gone as well. God is awesome.

Basically, I did a lifestyle makeover. I am being more choosy on what I watch too. Reading my Bible more. Dancing at home and church. Just all around free, and it feels amazing. I don't miss all that stuff distracting me from God and my family.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Today I have turned 28 years old, and for many years I would refuse to celebrate. I would have this sense of false modesty and put myself down so much that my Birthday would be terrible. I also would have a bunch of crazy expectations that would always end in bitterness.

As usual, my husband is not home. As a trucker I was pretty much banking on this. However I decided that this year I would only expect what I wanted to do for myself. I expected nothing from anyone else, and I think I have had one of the best birthdays I have had in quite awhile. Family had me over for a nice lunch, I had a wonderful Strawberry shortcake cake with white chocolate shavings all over it (very rich, but sooo yummy!). My husband sang Happy Birthday to me over the phone and called me his sweetheart, which made me blush! I also had at least 40 Birthday wishes via my friends on facebook. Oh! And one stranger at the grocery store, because my daughter told her it was my birthday. lol! She is so sweet. My children made quite a big deal about it today. And my son informed me that I should not have to do anything!! So I asked if that included making him dinner, and he said "except that mom, cause I LOVE your cooking". Well I could not argue with that.

I am very blessed, and although I have not unwrapped any official presents. I thoroughly enjoyed my day, just by not having any expectations. So from now on that is my plan.

Now I must go and watch a movie I have been waiting to see, with a bag of chips. Because to me, not having to share my chips is something I sometimes just need. (imagine 5 different hands reaching into the same bowl, ya catch my drift ;)

Shekinah K.

I am So Blessed. And here is Jill Scott, this is my wake up song on my phone. Gets my day started off right, with thankfulness. If you do not know who Jill Scott is, I encourage you to play "the best of Jill Scott" off of youtube. She has so much soul and depth, but some songs are NOT for childrens ears. Just letting you know.

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Watching television is frustrating to me. I feel as though I may be the only one seeing things for what they really are.

For instance I find cell phone commercials, are showcasing bullying in action. They say with a very strong overtone "If you do not have the latest and greatest cell phone, you are a loooser!". In one commercial they show a man who is slightly nervous (which I feel sorry for) and says he is not with their company but (the microphone back feeds) and everyone turns away and completely shun him.
What are we teaching our children?!
Honestly, the commercials we watch are half of our television (unless you watch tv online with netflix or something, which is much better). We have to look at what is behind the message. "If you are not with this cell phone provider, you suck", "If you do not have the biggest best car, you are less than".
Well maybe so, but my Pontiac will dent just as badly as your BMW in a crash. Metal is metal.
I decide what my worth is, not you. (Not that I have anything against BMW's, its the message)

Also, another huge lie in our society is. Buy it now, or look like a smuck. Ok, lets look at that a moment.

My parents saved well over $100 by NOT buying the Tickle Me Elmo when it first came out that Christmas. I waited and waited, and bought it for $1 at Salvation Army, which was most likely donated by some poor person who felt their child's self-worth was somehow attached to an insignificant toy when they originally purchased it.
This also happened with Cabbage Patch Dolls when they first came out. You see them in second hand stores and yard sales everywhere now. And do not get me started on how they treat other people just to get whatever the hottest product is! What is wrong with waiting?

Then the commercials for vacations! Luxurious Vacations to the Bahama's let's say. Sears does a commercial and states "Take the vacation now, and pay for it in a year".
WAIT! Whoa, I was not born yesterday. You want me to try to "relax" on a vacation, knowing full well....it will take me an entire year to pay it off?! That is exactly what a vacation is not. To me anyway.

When new films come out in theatre. I do not go. I do not buy popcorn. I stay home, when it comes available to finally watch it online, I enjoy it. If I need a bathroom break I do not hold it until my bladder explodes or miss an important plot in the film. It makes no sense to me. I can pause, I can eat my food I bought at normal prices. I can sit and cuddle on my couch with my husband and we are more comfortable. I do not need the huge screen and damage my ears.
I have saved hours of my time by not caring if I am the first in line.
You can call me crazy, but being crazy is what has been saving me money and even more precious my sanity.

Saturday, 2 February 2013

This week has been insane. We went from realizing our home is under 1000 square feet (with all 6 of us and our German ShepX) and looking for a possible new home. To have some kind of terrible flu run through the house. To huge snow storms, that change all our plans.

However! I have had time today to do one of my favorite hobbies. Which is Pinterest.
Obsession may be the more adequate description.

I start off just looking at a few things that were recently posted by people I follow. Then suddenly the target catches my eye. I have so many things I plan on doing when I have a space I can call my own! A place I dream of with every fabric and thread required and available to be taken out and used! A place with a lock on it (with 3 daughters under the age of 4, locks are a must).

Until that day comes I scour and scour. I am very much like a squirrel! I gather and gather until finally I feel full and can indulge in whatever I have decided is best to start with. So far the only Pins I have attempted myself have been recipe's and a few things with the kids.

The other website I can become lost in is ana-white.com, if you do not know this site you need to know it exists! This wonderful and amazing woman makes her own furniture from scratch and shows you how to do it yourself. My husband and I actually made our king size bed that she showed on her site. She got the idea from Pottery Barn and we just went with it. Took a long weekend, but our bed is super sturdy and comes apart in 3 pieces with storage underneath. We love it! (http://ana-white.com/2012/02/king-size-pottery-barn-stratton-bed)

Another website I have been hooked on reading the emails from, to get myself all revved up to finally take the plunge and properly clean/declutter my home is flylady.com. This woman is wonderful and upbeat. They even sell products that have rave reviews (as you read in emails) that they are a quality that you do not hear about much these days. I am gathering all that information as well.

Then their is youversion.com, the best free app I have on my blackberry. I read through 3 different devotions that I honestly do not think I could go through the day well without. It is not bragging here. I just need God in every aspect of my life. If I do not dwell in His Word daily I literally do fall apart. God is so amazing in my life, every day I am thankful to Him.

It is so exciting what you can learn online now. Everything is pretty much at your fingertips and most of it is free. (all the ones I mentioned are) And for someone like me, who had NO formal education at all. It is a remarkable thing, what I have been able to glean from online and turn into wisdom to use later. I am so grateful for the internet.

I started with Stewing Beef chunks in about 2 cups of water I used 2 lbs of Beef. I let it simmer since noon.
I then added a packet of Onion soup mix, 1/2 tsp of each.
Oregano, Pepper, Seasoning Salt, Oregano and about 2 tbsp of Parsley.
A swig of Worcestershire sauce.
Let that simmer then!
6 cups of Water (my husband who's been trucking will be home tonight. Have to make a hearty meal)
2 cans of Corn (one was creamed so I added 3 tbsp of beef bouillon)
1/2 cup Barley (awesome fibre)
1/2 cup Split Pea's
2 Carrots chopped up
2 big shakes of Granulated Garlic AND Paprika

Let it simmer for at least an hour, and you will have amazing and healthy hearty soup.
If you want to change it up you can always add a can of tomato (spaghetti) sauce, but I skipped out on that and it was still loved by all.

Sunday, 6 January 2013

From now on, on weekends I am planning on dealing with clutter in some area of my home.

This last weekend (which intended on being the first of many) ended up a wash. My 3 girls were all sick throughout this week, the baby was down this weekend. Tons of cuddles, and lots of catching up on laundry from the past week

I do not know about you. I am one of those people that gets insane during the winter months. I live in Ontario and it is now snowy here, dark and dreary. My energy needs a booster, and my home is obviously cluttered. I have CHAOS "Cant Have Anyone Over Syndrome" (stolen from flylady.com amazing website if I could only discipline myself!!). I walk around my home and literally feel as though I am drowning. Overwhelmed, feeling like I cannot even treat through. It is time to take a garbage bag and fill it/toss it!

Seriously, I may be a mother of 4 young children. I just cannot stand using it as an excuse "cleaning a house with young children is like shovelling snow when it is still snowing". I cannot use that lol!

Its time for change, I haven't used my stuff in my basement. No one wants that stuff I bet, so its got to go.

Now I am off! 4 children sleeping all snuggling in their beds, and I finally feel I can tread through some of this stuff that sucking the life out of me.

Friday, 4 January 2013

Our son has Autism/High functioning.
It was not always this good though. People look at us and think we are so lucky. Or he is COMPLETELY misdiagnosed! The doctors were insane!

No, we are the blessed ones.

When Gerrit was a baby around 4 to 6 months old we could see a difference we turned a blind eye to. You had to do things HIS way. He hated the car seat so much we had to physically force as carefully as possible to get him into it. He would literally (a baby now here) have his body inverted from the sitting position he was supposed to be in! lol. Looking back the signs were clear. Later on he had words "mama", "dada", "kitty". Then around 18 months nothing....
He lost all speech, we had his hearing checked and he heard fine.
He would bang his head against the wall or the floor around this time line as well.
Started lining cars and other toys up perfectly, if you messed with them they would just flip out completely.
Walk into a store that was tight on room, and he would just flop his body to the floor and bang his head. If I tried to go through the store to just get what we needed, he would be screaming and I would get the dirtiest looks from people who just could not possibly understand because my son looks perfectly normal. So of course I must be the worst parent ever.
And heaven forbid if I went in a direction that he did not want to go in.

I was fortunate to have a friend that helped me with parenting him. One day, when Gerrit was 2 years old Sarah told me that she thought he might have Autism. I flipped on her. I think I may have swore at her, and I ignored her for a few weeks completely. But Gerrit was undeniably different from other children. The less time I had her babysitting him to give me a break the more I thought "She may be right, and my parents put their head in the sand with my brother being so different. We'll see a pediatricians and then we can go from there. This could be nothing!".

The day after Gerrits 3rd Birthday. We talk to the Pediatricians, she asks us some questions and diagnoses him as Autistic/Low functioning. And she adds a little blip that I will never forget, it sounded just like those commercials after they just showed off this wonderful drug. "He is Autistic, do not expect him to graduate from school, get a job or ever get married."
My heart stopped, and the grieving process began in my soul. Because when someone tells you that, you have to release every dream in a way. And look at your child differently.
This beautiful child of mine is 3 years old. Half of me hopes "there is ALOT of time till he does any of those things, this can change". And then the impending other half of "what will we do if she is right?!".

I sank low, an all time low. It was very difficult day. The next day I felt God smiling down on me. I really knew nothing about autism. In the year of his diagnosis (2007) their was not alot of awareness. So I did what I usually did at an all time low. I turned on my television, and watched Oprah.
There was the most amazing moment, where a woman talks about her son that she was able to bring back around. It was Oprahs interview with Jenny McCarthy when she first told the world about her son and what Autism looked like.

Suddenly I was not alone. My husband thought Gerrits diagnosis was bulloni. But after I watched that show I knew I had to go online and research until I knew better what to do, how to cope and how I could help Gerrit be the man I originally wanted him to be. To stop grieving and start hoping again.

We were in touch with REACH and they put Gerrit into IBI (Intensive Behavioral Intervention Therapy) And would constantly do transitions. Gerrit loved to play with Thomas the train (most Autistics do, the track is predictable so they feel comforted by it). So they would do things like set up a table and do play dough there then after 10 minutes they would transition him to playing with blocks on the floor. And it would go on like that. The therapists would come to our home at 9am and leave around noon and come in another set of therapists around 1 to 3pm.
It was exhausting for me, but even more so for Gerrit. But they helped me potty training him at age 4. (He had no interest before that)
And when he begun IBI his speech was at the level of a 9 months old (at age 3 years) and when he graduated from IBI he was 5 years old and his speech was comparable to a 8 year old. Even now people are shocked at how vast his vocabulary is.
And all I can say is, its a miracle. Gerrit begun IBI and the door basically closed behind him for other children to get in. Some now get a diagnosis for Autism around age 3 or 4 and then they have to wait for years to get in. Gerrit got in within 2 months of his diagnosis, it was warp speed fast for us. But the best thing we could have done.
We are fortunate. And thanks to IBI and Gerrit being so receptive to it, our child is now high functioning. He has his issues but we can get around them or work through them.

My heart goes out to everyone who has to wait. If anyone wants to discuss Autism in their life, I am always here.