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Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

1. In 2012, a squirrel in Fareham, UK got its head trapped in a decorative Halloween skull and scared the crap out of the neighbors.

3. If you fake a laugh long enough, you’ll actually start to laugh really hard.

4. The Russian Army’s favorite marching song is the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song.

5. There’s a flower called “Hooker’s Lips” that literally looks like a set of hooker’s lips.

6. In 2012, a Chinese gamer’s father was so concerned about his son’s habit, he hired virtual hitmen to kill off his avatar.

7. In 1974, prankster Porky Bickar was so into April Fools, he flew hundreds of tires into a dormant volcano in Alaska and set them on fire – fooling the local populace and coast guard into thinking the volcano was active.

8. There is a town called Okay, OK. It has a population of 600 people.

9. Evanston Township High School in Illinois played Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’ as a fundraiser between classes. Students had to pay to stop it. $1,000 was collected in 3 days.

10. Gary Kremen, founder of match.com, lost his girlfriend to a man she met on match.com.

11. Scientist Niels Bohr was “given a house next door to the Carlsberg brewing company, and had a pipeline running from the brewery into the house so that he could have a never-ending supply of fresh beer on tap”.

12. The Guinness Book of Records was originally published by Guinness Breweries as a reference for settling bar arguments.

13. Most people who read the word ‘yawning’ will yawn!

14. McDonald’s did away with its spoon-shaped coffee stirrers because people were using them as cocaine spoons.

15. On April Fool’s Day in 1977, the UK newspaper The Guardian ran a 7 page feature on the discovery of the fictitious island nation of “San Seriffe.”

16. The Procrastinators’ Club of America newsletter is called Last Month’s Newsletter.

17. Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don’t.

18. Twenty nine percent of women spend more time shopping for shoes than they do looking for a life long mate.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY

“Thanksgiving is the best. I was so pleased last year. Things were going great, having a lot of fun, the house was full of people, everybody getting along – and then I realized that I had picked up the wrong family at the airport.” -Dave Letterman

“A company in France is selling a new robot that can play with kids and read them bedtime stories. Kids are calling it a cool and innovative thing to eventually discuss with their therapists.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The FCC is considering lifting the ban on cellphone calls on planes. The good news is you’ll be able to make calls during your flight. The bad news? The person sitting next to you will be able to make cellphone calls during your flight.” -Jay Leno

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.

The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: “Euro.”

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it’s a currency.

Says George: “What? There weren’t any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from??? ‘I was their number one son…and they treated me like number two.’

Answer: Batman Returns! The Penguin, a.k.a. Oswald Cobblepot (Danny DeVito), explains to the citizens of Gotham City that his parents coldly rejected him when he was an infant.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Two things I know to be true: there’s no difference between good flan and bad flan…and there is no war. Guess who I am.’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

My host thinks I’m an irritation, a bother, a pain.

But he can’t evict me, so here I will remain.

Then one day I’m taken and ranked among my peers.

Can you guess just what I am?

Then you might call me dear.

ANSWER: A Pearl!

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

For each of the pairs of words below, insert a word in the blank space between them to form two separate words such that the inserted word finishes the first word and begins the second. For example, given “MAN ____ ON”, you would insert the word “GO” to form “MANGO” and “GOON”. The hint gives the number of letters in each of the words that must be inserted.