Sunday, March 30, 2014

Ugly Sweaters and Haunted Handbags...Thrifting: The Movie.

I like the simple things in life: the brown crust at the bottom of the pan when you overcook rice, not having to wait in line at Costco to pump gas, and the thrill of buying worthless shit from thrift stores at rock bottom prices.

After a No-Spend February where I didn't frivolous shop at all and a previous six months of abstaining from from buying junk for my house I've fallen off the wagon. Or got back on the wagon? I'm not sure which one...

Either way I've been hitting the thrifting bottle hard and sluttin' it up in junk stores all across the land.

That's an old X-ray machine in my favorite dive thrift store.

So much cobwebbed junk and dismembered crotches, so little time.

But I've gotten a lot of really good jazz so let's inventory a bunch of things I bought that I TOTALLY needed in my life.

Scored a sweet little quilted pleather pursette and some Danish salad servers from an estate sale. I'm really into white right now so this is really working for my white witch Spring look. And I'm always into 60 yr old Danes so that was a no-brainer.

My favorite sexual position: clumsy dry humping.

I also didn't think twice about this Japanese erotic print for less than $10. It's not even showing any genitalia so I think it's like the soft focus romantic porn of shunga so it's safe for my walls. You're welcome, Mom.

I'm a little obsessed with baskets from the thrift stores and I thought this one could work on my dresser for jewelry and sparkly things. Or for .59 dirty socks or something.

This little vintage birdie is for a Christmas gift (oh yes - I shop early, y'all). The cool part is that it's from a local non-profit - the Orange Grove Center - which is an organization that helps the developmentally disabled and is a fun piece of local history.

When I got home I flipped it over and saw this sticker...

It says Orange Grove Center for Retarded Children on it... :-///////

But THIS other piece of pottery doesn't make me uncomfortable at all:

It says 'Made in Italy' on the bottom and I think it's a clumsy Bitossi knockoff but it's super cute and will fit nicely in that cabinet of junk in background.

It's only black and white because all the color pictures looked terrible for some reason.

Ok technically this one isn't from a thrift store BUT I found a knockoff Arne Jacobsen's AJ lamps at a local bargain/closeouts store. The original is about $900+, the normal knockoff price is $200 on Amazon, this one was marked to $100 at the store with 80% off. So like $20. Honestly, I just wanted to brag about the price. Even the cashier made me ring the 'bargain bell' because it was such a good deal.

It was probably the best moment of my entire life.

Back to used merchandize...

This tiny cup planter has a cartoon fiddle leaf fig on the front and directions for how to care for one on the back. But a fiddle leaf fig won't fit in the cup so what the...? I'll put a succulent in it.

Found this 'geode' labelled as 'rock' for $2. Silly booth owner. I also couldn't resist this book solely for the bright green cover and embossed image. I felt immediately it's my new mascot.

After a little hunting and advice from a smart person, I think it's an image of Branwen which means 'white-breasted raven' or something like that. I really AM feeling the white lately! The ancient Welsh worshipped her as the daughter of the sea (but she's a bird?)... I don't know. It's hard to find information on her because Branwen is the name of some slightly pornographic anime character and that's all that comes up when you google an image.

Apparently I'm subconsciously all about Japanese erotica lately as well.

I mean, apart from my deep and undying lust for tentacle porn, OBVIOUSLY.

When I'm not channeling my new bird/lady/sea queen, I'm buying even MOAR vintage purses and skulls.

When you see a good skull and grandma purse for cheap, you are physically obligated to take them home with you.

Question: should you smudge a purse that was purchased at an estate sale or at a yard sale from a person that is most likely dead? I can buy their furniture but things from their closet seems a bit more personal.

Pretty okay with not needing to smudge the skull.

Oh look! Even more pottery! It's a problem...

I love to find vintage pottery made by random people - probably your single eccentric aunt in the '70s who also was really into macrame - when they carve their name on the bottom with a toothpick. Good job, Suzie.

I'm starting to feel the urge to carve my name into something with a toothpick and might end up taking a pottery class soon. How single eccentric aunt of me!

I'm also pretty stoked about this brass planter WITH LITTLE TINY LEGS.

THEY'RE LITTLE TINY LEGS!!!

So much squee.

In related brassitude, I had to have the picture solely for the frame.

Those midi-length dresses that are making the rounds are really piquing my interest and, low and behold, vintage dresses are the perfect length! I've yet to wear them out but I think they might see the light of day again this Spring.

But some things have to stay packed away until next winter...

How am I supposed to resist a sweater with mirrors?!?!?!?

Please someone have a terrible white person ugly sweater party so I have a reason to wear this. I can't tell if it'd be ironic or unironic but it has shoulder pads and I have leggings so...

Aaaand now I'm done shopping for a while.

Unless something else has REALLY TINY BRASS LEGS and then I'm not responsible for what happens to my wallet.

But thrifting isn't all about ugly sweaters and haunted handbags, it's about friendship.

Here's Buford. My new best friend that lives at one of my junk malls. She happily climbed on my finger and promptly said 'peekaboo' to me a few times and then my heart melted and died next to a table of vintage Pyrex. The store owner was nice enough to snap a picture of Buford giving me kisses on my cheek and it literally made my entire month.

See? Thrifting isn't always about the dirty dealings of money. It's about friendship and playing peekaboo with animals.