Local man using cigarettes to quit vaping

WINNIPEG — After years of failing to quit the “disgusting habit” of vaping, Andrew Bunns has finally weaned himself off it by burning Tobacco and then inhaling the smoke, colloquially known as “smoking”.

“The problem with vaping is that you’re addicted to the nicotine but it comes with all these weird disgusting chemicals,” said Bunns before gesturing to a pack of Marlboro Golds. “Nothing in these except tobacco, tar, and hydrogen cyanide.

“Smoking is from plants! It’s like the organic vaping,” Bunns enthused, taking a long drag.

Recently, quitting vaping has become the third most common reason Canadians take up smoking. The second most common reason is “to slowly kill yourself”, and the most common rationale is that it’s an excuse to leave parties and stand outside.

“At this point I would do anything to try to quit vaping. I thought I could just be a social vaper, but then I found myself waking up at 3am just craving that citrus chemical taste,” stated Bunns. “And then I fell in love with the glamour and pageantry of vaping. I don’t know if I’m addicted to the nicotine or the smoke ring competitions.”

At the University of Manitoba, researchers are mixed on Bunns’ plan. “I can not exactly recommend smoking as part of a vaping cessation program,” stated Dr Connor Lau. “Speaking as a medical professional, I mostly advise patients just think about how silly they look when they vape.”

Bunns is currently trying to quit smoking, as well as vaping, through the use of chewing tobacco.