Full Member, n.
A member of the society
who has undergone the horrors of New Member Night.

A Lifetime Member can go on to become a
Full Philolexian if they speak at three consecutive meetings, submit
a petition for membership, and present an original work of literature,
painting, music, engineering, or anything of artistic or intellectual
value at the end of the semester. They will then receive an invitation to
New Member Night. If they survive the horrors that
night (rabid, human-devouring weasels among them)
these people become full members of the society.

Why, you may ask, would you want to become a Full Philolexian? Because
you will then be able to partake of the many full Philo privileges, such
as use of the Full Philo Coat Rack (probably in absentia), the Full Philo Dating Service, the
Full Philo Hot Tub (currently in Nova Scotia), the Philo Linear Algebra
Help Line and Symbolic Logic Tutoring (now a local call),
Lifetime philo.org e-mail address aliases (actually useful, in the 90s),
and of course the right to run for one of our prestigious offices (which
make excellent conversation-pieces for your resumé, like Herald or
Sergeant-at-Arms), as well as many other enviable privileges.

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