Father Christmas (no under 18s please)

I’m currently in the dog house for admitting to my 7 year old daughter that Father Christmas doesn’t exist. I didn’t volunteer the information, my daughter explained why she didn’t think he was real and asked me to tell her the truth.

We have an ‘Elf on the Shelf’ (Google it). Our twins (4.5) found it this morning sat on their play kitchen and twin one was worried he would eat their play cookies. Twin two said ‘he can’t eat them, his mouth isn’t real’ (let’s face it, they are wood, he couldn’t them with a real mouth). Twin one said ‘but he’s like Toy Story, he comes alive when we go to bed’.

I must’ve been about 6… it was a combination of hearing rumours at school and old fashioned detective work; the previous christmas, my parents had conned me by jingling a bell downstairs just before I went to sleep, telling me beforehand I couldn’t come down no matter what else Santa wouldn’t leave any presents; ringing this same bell a few months later, I recognized the tone, so I confronted my mum in the kitchen, pinning her in a corner until she confessed.

Our boys are 8 and 9 and both still believe. The youngest was acting up over the weekend and was told he was heading for the naughty list. He was sufficiently worried to offer to tidy his bedroom so he would be on the good list again (he is a nightmare for making his room a disaster zone).

His older brother, Max, is far more naive and still believes in the tooth fairy even though his friends at school keep telling him it’s us. He even leaves little notes to the fairy with his tooth asking questions about where she lives etc. We haven’t helped by replying and putting glitter glue around the edges like fairy dust.

Our 8 yr old, Ben, is a bit too sharp for his own good. He had suspicions about the tooth fairy so he didn’t tell us and put his tooth under his pillow. When it was still there after several attempts he told us about having lost a tooth and it was replaced by some money that night. He proudly announced that his experiment had worked and we are the tooth fairy. Max still refuses to accept this and leaves little notes.

My in-laws mentioned it to my wife last week about whether they could mention it (about Santa not actually being real). Our kids at 4 and 1. I told them in no uncertain terms that if they said anything of the sort (wtf would you?!) they’d never seen their grandchildren again.

I’m not a parent so don’t really understand, but I was never really comfortable with the idea of doggedly perpetuating a lie to your kids.

I mean, sure, when they’re very little then it’s probably quite exciting to think there’s magic in the world, but as soon as they’re old enough to go “hey dad, Santa’s not real, is he?” then why would you continue to lie about it? Parents are the people they trust the most in the whole world and you’re undermining that trust.

When they find out the truth and cry, is it because they’re upset about Santa or because they’re crushed at the revelation that their parents, the cornerstones of their little world, had been tricking them?

I mean, sure, when they’re very little then it’s probably quite exciting to think there’s magic in the world, but as soon as they’re old enough to go “hey dad, Santa’s not real, is he?” then why would you continue to lie about it? Parents are the people they trust the most in the whole world and you’re undermining that trust.

When they find out the truth and cry, is it because they’re upset about Santa or because they’re crushed at the revelation that their parents, the cornerstones of their little world, had been tricking them?

They don’t find out the truth and cry, though – if anything they’re proud of how grown up they’ve become, it’s a rite of passage for them.
But as a parent it means that christmas is a little less magic, and a little more commercial.

As i said in the other thread, there’s a huge grey area between being a real, tangible bloke in a red suit who can deliver everyone’s presents in one night; and not existing at all.

My feeling, is that if they’re old enough to be seriously questioning whether he’s real or not (and by that i mean not just ‘little Herbert at school says he isn’t real’ questioning), that’s the time they’re ready to grasp the concept that while ‘he’ isn’t real, there’s a little bit of all of us in ‘him’ that is very very real if we want it to be.

And the fact they are asking for the most expensive thing they can think of, rather than the thing they would like the most. Our two are asking for (amongst other things, but these come up more than others) 1: A Minnie Mouse keyring to go on her school bag and; 2: A Tinkerbel dressing gown.

When Mrs MCTD’s older brother figured out the Santa story, he was told that if he didn’t believe Santa wouldn’t bring him anything (trying to get him to play along for his little sister). he was apparently horrified when he woke up Xmas morning and had no presents!

Turned out Santa had left his in the kitchen by mistake….

My eldest sussed it at about 8 years old. His sister seemed to have it sussed last year at 6, and went shopping for her Christmas and birthday presents with her uncle last weekend. She then got upset cos Santa hadn’t taken her letter from the mantelpiece….?

ime, grandparents give the game away. “If there is something you’d like for Christmas let us know and we’ll see if we can get it for you…” 👿