I've been single; I've been married; and I've been divorced. I've been a good girl who made bad choices, and I've been a bad girl who made good choices. That's what this blog is all about.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Lucky Stars

I don't believe in luck.

I believe in choices and decisions that change our lives one way or another.

I've made bad choices and good choices and I've lived with the consequences of both. My bad choices have sometimes been doozies, but I always was able to get back on a good path.

My good choices included going to college in my 30's and making some smart life and financial decisions. I realized early on that going to school in and of itself would not totally change the fact that I have limited talents and abilities, but a college education would enhance my potential for success. With apologies to Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, most of us need that piece of paper.

My worst choices have included taking jobs I knew I was going to hate, and marrying for a powerful combination of lust and greed. (Who knew?) I got my head out of my ass and realized a prince was not the
solution to my career and financial issues. I needed to do somethings
for myself if I wanted a better life. Most of the time, I have been "lucky" and made decisions that worked out fine.

I know people who think they are unlucky. An old friend of mine divorced a low-down, cheating, lying husband and promptly thereafter married a heroin addict. She thinks she has had such bad luck. This woman also didn't file tax returns for years and it just about ruined her financially.. To complete the money disaster, the same woman built up credit card debt to over $60,000 and she had to declare bankruptcy twice. Bad luck?

Another woman I know married a very wealthy, quite a bit older man. She lived with him in a miserable relationship for over 20 years. He died and she inherited a lot of money. Even with the money this woman is unhappy and would not consider herself "lucky" at all. The 20 plus years of being unhappy took a serious toll on her.

A friend of mine got sick of the "rat race" of corporate employment so he dropped out. This guy has an adequate "nest egg" and he can live within his means. My friend lives frugally and has very little interest in material possessions. He does use money for travel and experiences. It works fine for him. I'd say he's pretty lucky.

My husband Alex joined the Navy when he was 18. While continuing his military service as a Reservist, and working full time as an aircraft mechanic, Alex went to college at night and got a degree in Computer Science. For 20 years, Alex has been working in a field he loves and being very well rewarded for it. He considers himself a lucky person.

43 comments:

I think we use the term "lucky" when we're just plain happy....sometimes life just falls into place, perhaps a combination of fate and choice; mostly I think it's the choices we make whether it is our actions/reactions or those around us.I suppose one could say I don't know what the heck I"m talking about, lol!

Determination and planning will get you far, bad choices and repeating the same actions will take you down, being happy where you are wherever that is, and knowing that this is exactly where you wanted to be does make you a very lucky person.

If we could rely on luck, I'd invest in rabbit feet and four leaf clovers. Life is what you make it. I agree with SuziCate - being lucky means one has found happiness. Now, that's not to say that the I don't believe in "luck" - oh I do. But, I don't think we can build our life on it. But, if wearing green on Tuesday and using a crisp new $20 bill will increase the odds of winning the lottery - so be it! (Or wearing dirty underwear as the ultimate support for your team.)

My daughter used to have the most astounding luck. When she was in high school, she won so many contests that it was scary. She called into radio stations and won turkeys, Christmas trees, concert tickets, money, trips, and so on. (Of course, if she had been half as intent on school work as she was calling in to radio shows, she'd be a Nobel Prize winner now.

And, let's fact it Ann, the underwear trick worked. I don't play the lottery, but I wish you good luck in your green dress with the crisp money. I don't see why that wouldn't do the trick!

I don't like casinos. I won't even stick a quarter in a slot machine. My husband likes to play roulette. I watched him win $500 and I took the chips and cashed them in. I would not give them back to him. He and my sister were dying to go back to the casino. I took all their cards and money and gave them $20 each. "Play till it's gone!" I told them. They came back in 10 minutes with empty pockets. But they still had their winnings!

Not much. Living with my eyes wide open has paid dividends in all areas of my life. When I'm tired, I still see opportunities but I'm less likely to reach for them. I'm terrible about picking up a righing phone when I'm feeling lonely even though I know it will help. Free will gives us the ability to make choices. It's how each of us responds to poor choices that is our true measure.

Cheryl, when I'm depressed, I don't want to interact with anyone. Of course, that's self-defeating because I need to interact to get over the blues or the blahs. Still, I accept that I am responsible in most cases. Some people never do.

I've been mentoring a woman for 2 years. She can't seem to understand this very basic truth. One thing I've shared with her 16 ways from Sunday that the most important tool I have is remembering that when I'm pointing a finger at someone else, 3 + a thumb are pointing back at me. I play a role in every situation I choose to walk into. Sometimes I do no harm, sometimes I do. Owning our responsibility is a more free way to live.

Cheryl, I've made dreadful mistakes in my life. But the trick is, I've learned from them. I seldom make the same bad choices more than twice anyway. Still, I know so many people who stack the deck against themselves and them bemoan their bad luck. If I choose to live with someone abusive, it really is my choice. I can't blame anyone else. If I choose to work hard to attain my goals, I can only congratulate myself.

If I was hoping to get lucky, I never would have made it this far. Not all my decisions have been good and not all have been bad. All I know is they've brought me to this place in my life and life's pretty darn good at the moment. There will be plenty more ups & downs, but I'm grateful for all the friends who've helped me through. May we all continue to stay connected!

I pretty much agree, Linda. Although, I do consider myself lucky, fortunate, or blessed to have been born where and when I was and grown up when I did. It was a pretty damn good start. As for the rest of my life, like you I look back at my choices -- good and bad -- and wouldn't change a thing because they've all led me to where I am today and I couldn't be happier -- "right where I am" as you say.

WOW you are so on the mark here. "The 20 plus years of being unhappy took a serious toll on her." ha ha that's me in marriage! Mistakes.. yes. I have made many. I've screwed up a lot. But I hope that during these screwups I never said, "I am so unlucky." I am usually pretty good at going, "Well Katherine, THAT was stupid!" Isn't it awful that for many of us (me) it takes you messing up to see the light! I loved this post... lots of food for thought. You are VERY wise!

I don't believe in bad luck, it's usually as you describe here. But I do believe in good luck! You just have to be ready to jump when it comes along (you know, already saved the money or earned the college degree...)

I think most of the time we make our own luck, Barbara. I never questioned having my two kids, although it made my life a lot more "complicated" as a single parent. I am lucky to have them and my 6 wonderful grandchildren. Good luck!

I often wonder about this too...and have stopped blaming the bad things that happen in my life on luck. Because like you, it comes down to decisions and not transferring blame to something that doesn't exist.

A friend once said to me, "You have the best job!" I said "I know, I'm lucky!" He said "Luck has nothing to do with it. You created this life for yourself." I thought about it, and he's right. and you're right. the decisions I've made (good and bad) led me here, right where I'm supposed to be right now. I don't have everything - little money and security, but I have a job I love and horses I love and good friend and family. Luck has nothing to do with it!

I dont believe in luck. I make my own luck with a dose of blessing from the Creator. That's about all. I believe that bad things happen. Will happen. by my mistake or others but i also believe there is something to learn from them.Alex is a star :)

About Me

I love art, music, food, wine, great shoes and my dogs, cats, all God's critters, grand babies, children, husband and friends. (Not in that order either.)
I hate intolerance in any form. It's the only thing I'm intolerant about!