6

8

5.0

4.8

5.1

.446

.466

8.2%

13.0%

21.2%

-2.2%

1.3%

8

5

9.4

6.8

6.9

.551

.531

26.5%

12.6%

39.1%

1.3%

8.1%

They're hitting .395 with runners on base and .207 with the bases empty. That's no way to go through life.

17

6

8

7.8

8.2

7.7

.543

.523

51.2%

11.8%

63.0%

-1.5%

-16.9%

Their game against the Phillies resumes in the bottom of the ninth. Zack Cozart gets all night to dream about how he'll bat against Phillippe Aumont, right after a dream about showing up to third grade math naked.

18

7

6

7.4

6.6

6.6

.502

.522

6.0%

10.4%

16.4%

-1.6%

-1.4%

Chris Getz had the most plate apperances without a home run (925) in Royals history until yesterday. That honor now falls to Jason Kendall (490).

19

6

8

6.1

6.2

5.7

.450

.470

4.2%

9.0%

13.3%

2.1%

-4.2%

Adam Dunn currently has more strikeouts (17) than total bases (13), plus he's only walked twice.

20

6

7

5.3

4.4

4.6

.441

.421

11.2%

8.0%

19.2%

0.4%

2.7%

Their promising 4-2 lead in the second inning was literally destroyed by a rainstorm. Okay, figuratively. No, literally!

21

8

5

8.9

9.6

10.0

.636

.654

79.2%

7.8%

87.0%

1.5%

8.3%

Assisted suicide remains illegal in the United States, which makes it even more puzzling pitchers choose to give Miguel Cabrera something to hit.

22

10

4

8.7

9.3

8.2

.542

.522

3.9%

6.8%

10.7%

3.5%

4.2%

In hindsight, it was a wasted opportunity by Coors Field not to build snowmen into all the empty seats.

23

7

6

7.1

7.6

7.7

.514

.534

3.0%

6.7%

9.7%

1.5%

3.7%

Matt Wieters hit a home run then later bunted. If this sounds like a bathroom limerick, it's not, but here's a magic marker.

24

6

9

5.8

5.5

5.5

.431

.451

3.5%

6.0%

9.5%

-2.2%

-3.6%

Judging by his facial hair, Eric Wedge has gone full Deadliest Catch.

25

4

8

3.7

3.9

4.1

.405

.385

6.4%

3.9%

10.4%

1.5%

0.5%

Where were you when Yuniesky Betancourt crushed that grand slam, and why weren't you hugging your children?

26

4

9

4.9

5.2

5.6

.428

.408

4.7%

3.7%

8.4%

0.2%

-3.3%

Why don't they just make the entire plane out of Nate Schierholtz pinch hits?

27

4

10

5.1

4.2

5.1

.400

.381

1.2%

2.5%

3.7%

0.9%

-3.6%

If the Padres wanted to face Chris Capuano so badly instead of Zack Greinke, they could have at least asked the Dodgers nicely.

28

6

7

5.5

6.3

6.8

.436

.455

0.5%

0.8%

1.2%

0.3%

-0.4%

Aaron Hicks may have only reached base six times in 51 plate apperances, but he's scored four times. You gotta admire that rate.

29

3

11

3.6

2.7

3.1

.325

.307

0.1%

0.3%

0.4%

-0.3%

-0.9%

They did it! A home run at home, thanks to Adeiny Hechavarria! Now they can start the center field machine ... oh, the batteries died.

30

4

10

5.1

4.7

5.4

.365

.383

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-0.1%

-0.1%

They've gone from plain bad to struggling, and that's absolutely in the right direction.

The assisted Suicide crack was amusing, but with Prince Fielder hitting behind him and having just earned Player of the week honors for his smoking bat, not pitching to Miggy isn't really an option. You shoulda saved that joke for when Stanton heats up.

So is this list going to follow BCS rules (for want of a better word) and keep Atlanta and Detroit 1 & 2 until their matchup at the end of the month?