Rumor Roundup: Deja vu toujours

Spoiler alert: there is nothing remotely resembling real news to be had in the world of Apple rumors so far this week. Not unless you consider dreck from "analysts" and iPhone mockups to be real news. And if you do, you're probably one of the half-dozen rumor bloggers who hate-reads this column before heading off to subtweet the afternoon away.

Some analyst claims the giga-iPhone (not to be confused with the 4.7-inch mega-iPhone) will cost $100 more.

Here's the score: someone who undoubtedly has no concrete evidence for his claim whatsoever (typical of Apple analysts) is making pricing claims about a product not even confirmed to exist, and it's being reported as though it's real news.

If this sounds familiar, it's because it's happened at least 1000 times.

Some analyst makes grandiose claims about how many non-existent iWatches might sell next year.

Here's the score: someone who undoubtedly has no concrete eviden- wait a minute. Is there any actual news happening this week, or is sewage-spew from know-nothing "analysts" all the rumor blogs have to offer us this week?

As an aside, you've got to love this bit: "Rumors of an Apple 'iWatch' have proven so persistent that many on Wall Street [...] are treating it as an inevitability."

That means absolutely nothing, because that's exactly how this cycle plays out every time.

Rumor blogs spend months relentlessly spreading every infinitesimal bit of manure from so-called "analysts" and sketchy Asian tech publications. Eventually, the snowball effect takes over, and mainstream publications take notice. The echo chamber intensifies, and soon financial outfits like Wall Street fully buy into the hype. Then, when reality fails to match up with the rumor mill, we're treated to another year worth of idiotic punditry about how Apple has lost its way, and how Samsung's "throw it against the wall and see what sticks" approach is what Apple should emulate, et cetera, ad infinitum.

In 2012 and 2013, enough parts leaked for the unreleased iPhone 5 and iPhone 5s that it was almost possible to assemble a complete iPhone unit long before it actually launched to the public. Meanwhile, not a single component of the "iWatch" has seen the light of day. Not a display, not a battery, not a ribbon cable, not a single pentalobe screw. All we have to go on is speculation from people who have no idea what they're talking about.

All I'm saying is we need more compelling evidence than the opium-inspired ravings of 100 analysts before betting long on the iWatch. Have we learned nothing from the "Apple HDTV"?

Oh, look. More iPhone mockups from MacRumors. And as usual, they're reported on as though they're legitimate leaks of actual devices. So I guess that answers my question: no, there is no actual news on offer. Not even the slightest hint of a whiff of real news.