Why Give A Crap What I Say? It's JUST me.

Why should you give a crap about me? I have no idea... BUT....I want to thank you for joining me on my journey of a super shitty - averagely happy - drama filled - absolutely hilariously funny life. I clearly feel the need to spill my guts about what is happening in my life to people I don't know. The funniest most off color TRUE stories you've ever heard - and when you least expect it, you'll cry like a baby.

The photo you are seeing is "my" yard in the summer. A home is not a place it is the inhabitants that make it a home.

With love, Alyce

September 28, 2012

I just watched a video my late husband recorded exactly two weeks prior to his death January 21, 2012. He was giving the kids a life lesson on how what you say really does matter to other people. He went on to explain that when you're working people will try to tear you down by saying things that might not be true - but you must rise above it.

My son had a vocabulary list to do and "integrity" was one of the words on the list. He had to use the word in a sentence. The sentence needed to be able to be understood by the reader without giving it away. "My dad is a man with integrity. He's honest and I want to grow up to be just like him."

I'm in a sticky situation now. I must think that I wouldn't be in this if Eric weren't dead. Other than the obvious - he would've done more due diligence before throwing himself into something (anything for that matter.)

Eric died on a cold day in January - by the budding of flowers in March I had decided my children and I HAD TO MOVE! Eric took more than 3 months to decide on a new underwear type. No, not me. Don't make any big decisions, warned, um everyone. With a subtle eye roll I'd acknowledge what they were saying and explained how that applied to most but not to me.

Fast forward 8 months after Eric's death and about 6 weeks after picking up my family and moving us to paradise.

I have so many absolutely hateful things to say about my situation. I am trying so hard to bite my tongue (smack my hands) and not spew the venom about my current living situation.

This is what I will say. Let me first say, that I absolutely understand the word slander and all that it entails. I'm not being slanderous as long as I'm being honest. Honest I'm good at. Here we go....

...I rented a home on Palm Beach. The next question is always where? Palm Beach. I know, but where. It's the craziest thing...ON PALM BEACH ISLAND. Ugh...Oh, you live on the island, they say. Yes, yes we do. It is an amazingly beautiful and peaceful place. As you drive over one of the 3 bridges to get onto the island from West Palm Beach you immediately feel a sense of calm.

The home we rent is 4 blocks from the Ocean - yes the Atlantic Ocean. .75 miles to Starbucks - .3 miles to school - .5 miles to the Supermarket - within 5 minutes from anything and everything. The home is much smaller than the home we lived in - BUT we have a pool - AND my mother has a very small guest house to call her own. In order to get a reasonable (which is still unreasonable) price on rent I agreed to pay the monthly rent in advance (known as advance rent) - two years in advance rent.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?

We moved in August 15, 2012 - by September 6, 2012 my landlord had already consulted with her attorney to see what her options are. I don't have the strength to go into the minutia of everything. It is fair to say that in my extraordinarily long and complicated life I have never happened upon a person such as this.

The things I knew before moving in:

My landlord would be living two doors down from me. No issue as I am very particular about how I live.

My landlord has no children

My landlord has never been married

My landlord is (or believes) that she is a prominent real estate broker ON PALM BEACH ISLAND

My landlord has a slight attitude issue.

The things I didn't know before moving in:

I would have to fight this woman to correct issues that were a danger to my children and myself.

I would have to call the Town of Palm Beach to see if there were code violations.

I would find out that low and behold there are code violations.

I would feel a sense of satisfaction knowing she would be opening her mail to find out that she HAD to fix the issues I had simply asked to be fixed.

I would want to scream from the rooftops that she is a mean mean mean lady. Well, that's my opinion - do I then say allegedly?

Where do we stand now???????? Well...I'm trying to get her to understand that we need not argue. We need not throw stones and say bad things about each other. We need to go away from each other - not mad just away. I have asked 2 different attorney's to explain to this "woman" that I will at all cost protect my children, my mother, and myself. Still, the words fall on deaf ears.

As I watched my late husbands video today - explaining how words can hurt and how you should choose them carefully. I can only think of one thing.