Dealing with Anorexia

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Hi
I am hoping the collective wisdom, knowledge and experience of NSC can offer some advice.

My 14 year old daughter has been diagnosed with anorexia and depression. She is being helped by the local authority eating disorder clinic and is not (yet) hospitalised. We're not making a lot of progress and she is still not acknowledging that she is ill and so, is still resisting eating. She is still losing weight and getting close to being hospitalised.

I think she is getting all the treatment and support that is available but my wife and I are really struggling. We are doing everything that we're being asked to in terms of how we engage with her around food and her accompanying tantrums but it is really hard to see our daughter crumbling before our eyes - ounce by ounce, tear by tear. Friends are being very supportive but we just don't know how to deal with the unrelenting stress, pressure and sadness. We're functioning but we know this is going to last a long time (or end in her dying from it) and need to work out how we're going to survive as well.

Although I hope no-one on NSC has had to deal with it, I expect someone has. Any advice, resources, guidance you can give would be greatly appreciated.

I can’t offer anything but my best wishes with what is a very difficult situation. Good luck.

"I will design a town in the image of your face. Round the wrinkles of your eyes my footsteps you can trace. We could promenade down infra-nasel depression. The streets of your hands will never feel a recession."

Sorry to hear, been through it as a single father with my daughter in recent years and it's so difficult. Am rushing around today so can't do this justice, but am happy to discuss further. My daughter is back to a healthy weight, but she will always have issues around food.

All I can offer is my best wishes to you and your family. I have suffered with mental illness and the only advise I can give is stay positive and keep fighting every day. I was in a very dark place for a number of years and have made a near full recovery. Nothing last forever and I am sure your daughter will come through this eventually. Good luck.

I think its brilliant that you've reached out for help in this way. I don't have experience to draw on, but I have worked with patient groups on other illnesses and this is exactly the sort of help that they can offer. I am sure there will be relevant groups that you can contact (and assume/hope that you probably have been given some details through the medical staff looking after your daughter). The well-being of parents and carers in these situations is so important so getting support for yourselves sounds like a really important and positive thing to do. Heart felt strength and best wishes to you all..

A few years back, a niece of mine was diagnosed with anorexia, to the point of being hospitalised on occasions. Happily, she did eventually recover, went back to work and has since had two healthy children.

Looking back, one thing is absolutely crystal clear: the key to her recovery was the unlimited love and support of her family, particularly her husband. Reading through your post, it is evident that your daughter will be lacking nothing whatsoever in that respect. Very best of luck, to all of you.

I really hope she turns it around.
It is really hard dealing with a situation which, to all intents and purposes, looks like it will end badly and is out of your control.
As a parent that feeling of helplessness is dire, after all we are there for their protection.
We experienced a dilemma with our eldest daughter and just when we had almost resigned ourselves to the inevitable, she realised where she would end up if things didn't change.
That was 2 years ago now and she is doing great and just to see her smile everyday is immense.
It would seem that in some cases there has to be a limit, however extreme it may be, when realisation may kick in.
I hope she experiences this soon for all your sakes.

One thing I do know is that you are going to have to look after yourself and your wife too, so lean on us here in NSC, and if you just need to unload stuff or talk confidentially to someone you don't know but who is a member of the albion Family, PM me, right? Your daughter needs you so you need to take care of yourself. I've suffered badly from depression over the years and my own daughter does not find aspects of modern life easy, so as a fellow dad I empathise.