Tag Archives: Happiness

There are 4 fundamental forces, which govern all what happens in our universe – gravity, electro-magnetism, strong and weak forces. Likewise, there are 4 basic equations that govern all what we do.

We spend days and decades doing our things; but most of us fail to see how things are interwoven or interconnected. There exist clear cut relationship between causes and consequences or events and effects.

Here below are 4 equations that are universally applicable from the strongest person to the weakest in our world and give you command on the results from what you do:

You believe = What you perceive or conceive repetitivelyThis equation is the mother of your ideas, beliefs, tendencies, traits or habits. It shows that beliefs do not come from blue; but you actually build them. Whatever you think or observe on a repetitive basis or you are made to do so, you would start to believe it, regardless it is right or wrong.
This equation governs your learning in school, college or elsewhere. It builds your fantasies, fascinations, faith to fundamentalism or fanaticism.
One of the far reaching repercussions of this equation can be observed across the world – humans are very prone to negativity; our attention is very quickly drawn by adverse scenarios or news. We tend to think, talk and see more of wrong or depressive things and in that process, we build up wrong beliefs or ideas resulting in our anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, doubts, depression or superstition.
So, to develop good ideas or right beliefs, you have to perceive or conceive right things.

You become = What you believeIf you believe in dynamism, you are bound become dynamic. If you put your belief in leadership qualities, you can never be a laggard. You want to stand tall, nobody can make you small.
If you believe that you can be a singer, engineer, professional or public icon, you would become that. All that you need isa belief, which is unquestionable and unshakable; which you would not doubt or dither, go back and forth. You would relinquish anything that comes as a roadblock; but not reverse that belief. Then, such powerful belief would automatically push you to pursue what you want to be, develop a passion and open door of opportunities to get there.
This relationship works both way; so if you believe you cannot become someone you like, you would not.

You get = What you giveOften bosses complain that their sub-ordinates do not respect them; but then they are oblivious of the fact that they do not deal with them with respect. If you give smile, then it is not possible that people would not return it with smile. If you give trouble, you would necessarily get in trouble. You love someone sincerely; it is impossible that person would not fall in love with you.
So, you get what you give. It is universally applied to all of your actions without exception.If we fail to notice such a simple cause and effect relationship, it is only because of our ego, biases or obsession, which blinds us to see what exactly we are doing or giving.

You see = What you sow in your mindOne morning, you wake up in great spirits and you find everything going great that day. But, another day, you get up with low energy and esteem, though nothing has changed externally.
So, what has actually changed?
It is ideas and images, which you have sown in your mind previous day, during dreaming or first few moments after waking up that have actually changed for good on 1st occasion and for worse, in case of 2nd.
So, you would always see, what you have sown in your mind. Positive and negative aspects or angles of everything exist side by side. Depending upon what is in your mind, you start to focus on plus or minus or mix of the two and you fathom things accordingly.
If you want to see things in order, you have to put your mind first in orderly state. If you like to witness happiness around, you have to be happy. But, if you have roped in miserable ideas in mind, you would only reap miseries.

So, these equations give you complete control on whatever you want to believe, become, get and see!

Highly successful individuals, industries or institutions suddenly come in limelight for a lame reason and their character or credentials take a severe beating. Among innumerable instances, current ones are Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt for their marital issues, Volkswagen for emission scandal and past ones are golf legend Tiger Woods, soccer star Diego Maradona, iconic companies like Dell and BlackBerry. In all of these cases, success brought successes and fame bought more feathers in their caps, but only to fall or fly apart.

Why is such story is so sacrosanct is every case?

When going is good, everyone has natural urge to have more of it. You see your success as vindication or validation of what you do. There is nothing wrong in this but slowly your mind abstains to see adverse implications of blind pursuit of good. I call this as “addiction to good”.

Why addiction to bad is a lesser evil

If you get addicted to anything that is bad, you would get early warning signals. Your bad behavior would raise eyebrows of your boss and buddies alike. Your bad habits would show up on your health and happiness. So, you receive lot of alarms when you do something that is not good and get opportunity to correct. If you don’t correct, you would end up with bigger crisis. That gives you last opportunity to resurrect or else ruin.

Why addiction to good is an enormous evil

When you do it right, everyone around you is there to endorse and enamor what you do. You start to get results. It turns into your passion. When you keep pursuing, it potentially turns into your obsession. Two things happen at this stage – (1) you build a blind belief on the approach that gave you success. Often there are errors in interpreting the parameters of this successful approach like picking emotions in place of inspiration, hard work instead of smart work and like and (2) you see your stakes soaring high socially and professionally.

You start to firmly believe, once right, you would always be right. You refuse to see incoming arrogance and overconfidence. Unsuccessful or unaware colleagues or masses start to idolize you, fueling your obsession further. This is the stage, you begin to inflict severe damage to social or corporate fabric with intelligence and resources that you have gathered. Your blessings turn into banes and you become victim of your own victories. Unless you face a severe setback, you are actually at a point of no return.

Are advanced societies becoming victim of addiction to good?

It very much seems so.

Advanced societies or countries in our world have had good run for substantial time, during which knowingly or unknowingly, they seem to taken decisions, adopted practices and policies, which helped them earlier but hurting them now. They are failing to fathom developing scenario. Addiction to good does give rise to right wing individuals, leaders and parties, if Brexit or US presidential election is any indication!

Your spontaneous response probably would be – I should follow my heart! This is what you have heard, read or been told time and again by your role models, mentors, teachers or gurus, well known authors or leaders!! But, can you exactly pin point – this is the voice or thought from my heart and that one is from my head? Everyone agrees that head speaks to you all the time; but does heart also do so or it speaks selectively?

Let us take examples of goons, gurus and gods. Do goons have heart as well as head? Off course they do! If you read real stories of goons or gangsters, they do have compassion, albeit for certain class of people – their dear ones or those for whose cause they have become trouble makers or cruel. So, when they show compassion, our conventional wisdom would say they are driven by their heart. But, what happens when they demonstrate cruelty or terror? It may be convenient for most of us to think that it’s because of their head! What happens to their heart at that time? Does it go sleeping; it does not prevent them to perpetrate pains to others? There seems to be a contradiction! Can heart or head switch off and on, depending upon one’s comfort or convenience?

Now, take example of gurus or even successful corporate leaders. A good guru or leader is supposed to be highly balanced and treat all of his followers or fellows on equal footing. He or she would reject any advance by his/her follower/s to come closer; otherwise, he/she runs the risk of falling from grace like it happened with Bill Clinton former US President, Tiger Woods famous golfer or David Petraeus former CIA Director in US. So, a successful guru or leader would never be drawn into emotions! Does that mean gurus or leaders don’t have heart? If no, then from where come their kind and congenial behavior? Yet; most believe that gurus and leaders work through only their heads; that is why they are dispassionate and even desert their comforts and families for their pursuits.

Now for god; in all religions, Gods have been projected to operate through their meta-physical powers or enlightened mind like Buddha. There is nothing like separate voices of their heads or hearts!

How do we differentiate what comes from heart and one from head?

What we tend to relate to heart!

Most consider following feelings and functions belong only to heart:

LoveWe connect every form of love to our heart; but not respect!

Kindness and compassionWe believe an act of kindness can only come from heart. Only heart is capable of being compassionate; but being considerate, inconsiderate or impersonate is handiwork of our head.

Empathy and sympathySame as in point 2 above; supposed to ooze out of our heart!

Passion and devotionWe don’t believe that passion for a person or profession, devotion for god, nature, nation or duties can come from head; it is heart!

Positive emotionsAll positive emotions as above and others like happiness, fun, fervor or excitement have been perceived by us as regime of heart!

So, coming from heart, everything is considered right! Heart can’t commit any crime or mistake!!

The rest goes to head!

That seems to be a blatant truth!!

Rationale and reasoningOnly our head has competence to rationalize and understand the realities – this is what all believe!

Does our heart function independent of our head?Remember that we are not talking of our biological heart here! So, what do we mean when we say our heart talking and we listening?

Factually speaking, we experience the functions of head and heart only through our mind. Then, how a line gets drawn between voices of heart and head?

If you carefully look at above points, you would soon discover that:

We relate all of our positive emotions to heart; but negative emotions to head!

We perceive that all “spontaneous but right” thoughts emanate from heart; however, “systematic but right” thoughts and “spontaneous or systematic but wrong” thoughts come from head!

Our heart has only virtues; but head can have both virtues and vices!

Our heart operates randomly; but head works on rationale, reasoning or realities!

Our heart receives only compliments and credits; but head receives both credit and discredit!

Secret of how heart differs from head!

Whatever you want to call it – scientific, material or spiritual fact is both heart (emotional not biological) and head resides in one and same mind!

There is only one and singular situation, when your thoughts are very appealing to you; those are positive and right and that situation comes “When you are thinking purely in present time forgetting the past”.

When you think in present but keeping reference to past memory however old or fresh (like a second before), then you can go either right or wrong! This is what all of us do all the time and that is actually our head speaking. But thinking is just present, when our mind merge with current moment, is what we have accidentally come to understand – “That’s my heart speaking”!

So, it is correct to follow your heart. But, you now have a new perspective – what exactly it means when your heart speaks. It can speak as often as you try! Remember, it is very subtle but gives you superlative power for correct decision making and revolutionizing your life/career!

Momentous moments to usher in a new era! Source: http://www.flickr.com/

When “what we are going through” approaches the end, we feel relieved and look forward to the turning point! Suddenly, we feel nostalgic, euphoric with burning desires and renewed hopes!! We like to bundle up the past and begin a new journey in the New Year. Casually or seriously, we resolve to do something that we could not do earlier.

It has become a ritual to make new or renewed resolution/s on New Year. With that comes a challenge – what we are able or like to do, we would have started doing it earlier; hence, our resolution/s invariably come for what we were unable to do, hoping that we would be able to do it this time, even though we don’t bring any change to make it happen!

Therefore, history repeats – we fail to make our resolutions real again, since nothing usually changes except for our excitement over digits of year increasing by 1!

So, why not look at 2016 through a different lens?

What you have not been able to do in past, you would not be able to do it in present, unless you change your approach and increase will-power. But then, it is not easy for everyone. However, what you have been doing, it is conceivable that you can resolve not to do it! This is what I call “Reverse resolution/s”.

Think over – can you move forward, unless you control or crush what takes you backward? Can you hope to become dynamic, without dropping what makes you dull or docile? So, secret of life is in scrapping the showstoppers for show to start and succeed!

How about considering reverse resolution/s for one or more of the following:

I shall not live in the past!This resolution can be the most significant and rewarding.Our past comprises of knowledge and emotions. When we say living in the past, it essentially means living by past emotions, which is a single source of all of our banes, limitations or weaknesses! Contrary to popular beliefs, past emotions always bring pains, although we perceive these give pleasure!Get rid of your past emotions; it would rekindle and revolutionize your life!

I shall not give up what I choose to do!Choose consciously what you want to do; but once you decide, giving up is a worst idea, unless it turns out to be a wrong choice. Your determination to not to give up opens numerous doors of new opportunities.

I shall not expect others to be what I can’t be!When above is not done, conflict unleashes for supervisors and subordinates, politicians and public, friends in relationship or spouses in marriage!!

I shall not live in doubts!Living in doubts is like living in dark cell; leading a double standard life!! When you entertain doubts, you can never be genuine and truthful. You can never qualify to be a leader!

I shall never neglect my health and happiness!Maintaining good health and happiness is primary duty of all; but most consider it secondary, which is a shame!!

I shall not live in my comfort zones!Humans have natural tendency to build and live in comfort zones, which actually make them laggards and impede progress.

I shall not move with crowd!If you want to make a difference and come in lime light, you must do things differently than what the crowd does.

I shall not put down anyone nor please everyone!We have strange liking for 2 extremes e.g. either we want to put down or please others! We can create a much better work place or a world to live, if we give space and respect to everyone. None other than we are the chief beneficiary from same!!

I shall not allow my ego and biases to overwhelm me!Most people feel high on their ego and biases; whereas these actually create lows for their character and charisma!!

I shall not pass on the buck for my troubles to others but own up!If you take responsibility for what you are and what you face, you would become supremely confident and courageous to attain new heights!

So, how about adopting some of above to make 2016 a game changer for you?

A study by scientists of Swansea and Milan Universities of people in various age groups has concluded that those, who spent too much time on internet, are more susceptible to caching cold and flu. Internet addicted people suffer from stress, when they are disconnected with internet. Cycle of relief and stress that they go through leads to altered levels of cortisol – a hormone, which is responsible for impacting human body immune function. Previous research had shown that excessive use of internet leads to greater sleep deprivation, worse eating and drinking habits among users. Note that culprit may be internet; but real cause is addiction and/or stress, which is nothing but thoughts albeit negative!

In 1950’s, Henry K. Bleecher of Harvard University published his research finding that 30 to 40% of patients suffering from chronic ailments improved after taking a placebo! A placebo is like dummy tablet say sugar pill that has no therapeutic value, but patient sees it as part of treatment without recognizing that it is dummy but believing it would help. Since then lot of medical research has proved that placebo does work and leads to biological changes in body, which are actually triggered by psychological changes. It only establishes intimate relationship of brain with body; mind over matter!

How our brain controls body

Regardless of biological explanations how brain controls our body, bottom line of this control is our thoughts. Ironically, very little work has been done in physics or physiology on “How a thought gets developed in human mind”! It is our thought that sends command through nerves/ blood vessels to concerned part of body to control it in a specified manner.

If you are carefree and rarely tense, you would enjoy good health and immunity with body weight being normal. However, if you become careless/casual, you would run risk of becoming obese.

If you a confident person (confidence comes by clear thoughts), you would raise your head, look straight and walk fast. Over time, you are less likely to suffer from cervical or spinal problems!

If you are generally stern and angry faced, you would develop crow’s feet lines around eyes and wrinkles on forehead.

If you are worrying or stressing type, you would be vulnerable to host of health issues – poor digestion system, IBS, high blood pressure, diabetes, cardiac ailments or disturbed sleep leading to dark shadows under eyes and weak immune system!

Train your thoughts and tag your world along!

Everything that we experience comes through our thoughts in mind! It is only our thoughts, which give us feeling of life in ourselves and in others around us. Absence of thoughts is absence of life and in medical terms, one is brain dead. Our intentions, perceptions, ego, emotions, desires, needs, habits, tendencies, traits, biases, beliefs, fears or faiths are nothing but a set of thoughts. We tend to classify those differently, since our sensory response to each of them is different. Our world is roughly 50% physical comprising of matter and energy and 50% is virtual comprising of our thoughts!

Such is colossal effect of thoughts; but equally callous/casual is the approach of most people towards thoughts! Normal tendency is to think – oh, what is there? It is just a thought; it does not matter! Stark fact is our thoughts become our talks and tasks, after getting converted into words and wishes/wants!

Thoughts also create radical impact:

Thoughts help you dream and design your destiny!

They shape your personality!Medical field generally talks of genes impacting your persona. But, genes only determine your tendencies and your thoughts can alter same. If genetic tendencies are favorable, impact of your thoughts would get accentuated; but if contradictory, those would impede impact and you would struggle more for a change!

Thoughts can influence upcoming events, until those become a reality!

Now, how to train your thoughts!

My research has revealed that you can train your mind only for positive thoughts; but never for negative thoughts! Negative thoughts would always build automatically!!

Less positive you are, more negative would you be. When your negativity recedes, positivity rises! To train your thoughts:

If you are happy and hopeful, you are ready to go to step no. 6 below.

If your mind is laden with loads of thoughts, divert your mind and get busy with your work, until your mind becomes light.

If you are confused or irritated and can’t find reason for same, believe that what is in your mind is rubbish. Simply discard it.

If your mind is preoccupied with some problems, determine what needs your immediate attention and what can wait. List down the latter on a piece of paper; but attend what is immediate, leaving aside everything else.

Finally, when you think you are focused, then is the time for next step.

Practice to build your thoughts only on basis of your present observations or goals and knowledge but never emotions.
Nothing else must be considered to build your thoughts.

Our mind keeps wandering, which actually means random thoughts roaming in our mind. Lot of researchers and psychologists suggest that allow them to come and go; just observe. This is a right thing to do; but what is not right is to create pressure in mind to drive them away, since by doing so, you create opposing thoughts, which is wrong. Instead, believe random thoughts are redundant; hence give no importance. This is the best way to practice and push them away!Another significant revelation from my research – “Random thoughts or remembrance of even most loved or respected ones, including God, can’t stand you in good stead! It means a malady in mind – traces or tones of obsession or prejudice!!” So, practice to think or remember even God consciously!

Drill in your mind nothing is more important than to focus of what you choose to do now!

Secret of your positive thoughts is surfacing of your happiness! Practice to capture and consolidate those thoughts!!

Make serious efforts to allow single thought at a time in your mind!

By training your thoughts as above, you would witness miraculous and mind-blowing changes in your being and body!