SmackDown: Would You Homeschool Your Kids?

I was Homeschooled, and So Are My Kids.

by Crystal Paine

There is overwhelming evidence that the majority of home-schooled students are thriving -- they score high on standardized tests and also do well in college. These studies and statistics are impressive, but they are not why my husband and I have chosen to home school our children.

For us, the main reason is a religious one: We are Christians and believe the Bible is to be our basis for all of life and practice. Scripture speaks very clearly to the role of parents in the education of their children in Deuteronomy 6: 5-7:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."

It is hard for us to follow this Biblical mandate if we send our children to school to be instructed by others for the bulk of each week day.

Both my husband and I were home schooled and had very positive experiences, so this has also significantly impacted our decision to teach our children at home. I loved the immense amount of quality time home schooling afforded me to spend with my parents and the close relationships I developed with my siblings as a result of having them as my classmates.

Some people bring up the argument that home schooled students aren't socialized. I think that's one of the biggest myths on the planet. Think about it: When else in real life, but in a classroom setting, are you put into a situation where you are only interacting with people your own age?

Instead of growing up in a peer-based, age-segregated system, I learned to communicate and interact with people of every age -- from babies and toddlers to the elderly. In my opinion, that's true socialization.

Homeschooling has advanced so much in the last 20 years. While there used to be only a few textbook options available, there is now an almost-overwhelming plethora of curriculum available. For parents who feel apprehensive or unqualified, there are support groups, co-ops, distance learning opportunities, self-teaching computer programs, online tutors, local classes and more. The wealth of homeschooling resources available online and offline is almost limitless.

A classroom setting tends to encourage a one-size-fits-all conveyor belt education which caters to the lowest common denominator, whereas homeschooling provides the freedom for children to pursue opportunities tailored to their interests and gifts. For example, I was very interested in creative writing in high school. After completing a few grammar and writing courses, my parents encouraged me to start a bimonthly newsletter which eventually ended up with more than 200 subscribers from around the world.

For four years, I spent close to 40 hours per month on the newsletter, writing and editing articles, designing the layout, communicating with subscribers and printing and collating. Little could I have dreamed that this foray into publishing would lay the foundation for writing a blog read by hundreds of thousands of individuals across the globe.

I'm so thankful for the many wonderful real-life, hands-on opportunities that being home schooled provided me. And I'm excited to offer the same for my children, as well.

There's no denying that home schooling is a lot of work. It takes commitment; it takes perseverance; it requires a great deal of effort. But it's absolutely priceless to get to be right by my daughter's side as she learns to read and grasps each brand new concept.

Homeschooling? Not for My Kids.

by Amy Hatch

When it came time to send our daughter to school, we struggled a bit.

The public school in our neighborhood wasn't up to our standards, and private school tuition was going to be a stretch. We joked more than once that maybe we should home school the girl, laughing at the idea of a writer and a musician settling in to teach algebra and physics.

Sure, we probably could have managed during the primary years -- after all, we'd already taught her letters, numbers and most of the basics she needed for kindergarten. Not to mention the fact that there are plenty of prepackaged curricula available for moms and dads who choose to teach their kids at home -- even some that don't include a religious bent.

In the end, we chose to send her to a private school and we made the financial commitment for one reason: We believe in schools.

Both my husband and I had rich academic experiences at schools both public and private. We took full advantage of the extracurricular offerings made available to us -- I worked on the school literary magazine and was editor of the yearbook, and my husband was an active member of the music community at his school from the age of 9.

How could we possibly replicate that experience for our daughter if she was at home with us all day?

Homeschooling proponents say their children have ample opportunities for socialization, but I don't buy it. In our small community, the ability to organize a sports league or orchestra would be limited, at best. And then there's the time factor -- as working parents, we just couldn't manage.

Some may say those reasons smack of selfishness, but keeping our family afloat financially is a priority, as is serving as role models who have healthy appetites for our work. The passion my husband and I have for our careers is partially the result of our parents and how we were raised, of course, but the teachers we encountered at school were no less influential.

Restricting our daughter to our world view would deprive her of teachers like Ed Ladd, my high school English instructor, who demystified the written word and showed me you can make a living as a writer. Not only that, Mr. Ladd believed in me and he made sure I knew it.

Would we deprive her of a teacher like her own father, who taught music to elementary school students for nine years in an impoverished western New York city? He taught scores of kids to play the violin, viola and bass -- kids who otherwise might never have touched an instrument.

We know there is at least one special teacher out there who will mold our child in ways we cannot.

Sure, when she comes home with teary stories of being left out on the playground, it's hard not to fantasize about keeping her home with me and teaching her about the planets and American history without any mean girls to taunt or distract her. But learning to deal with rejection and conflict is also an essential part of her education. Protecting her from the harder life lessons won't prepare her for a world she is certain to inherit, one that is fraught with competition.

And that's really the bottom line, isn't it? Preparing our children to go out in the world -- without us. School is the first step on that long journey toward independence, and possibly the most important step we take.

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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 3)

Every concern I have ever heard about homeschooling has turned out to be non-true nit-pickyness. Not only have I homeschooled my own 3 kids, but I taught classes in homeschool co-ops and the kids are as normal as any schooled kids, except that they are a little more excited to be there and eager to learn than you find in schooled kids. I don't know where people get the idea that if you are homeschooled your kids don't get out, or don't do things without you, etc. Mine have always been in classes, or clubs, or groups, gone on field trips or had friends to play with. If anything, they've had more time to be even more independent because they haven't had to revolve their lives around the school schedule. When my oldest started college (at age 15 by the way) she didn't have any problems. I went to school, and have worked in schools, we all know that school is not a perfect environment, we all know there are plenty of kids struggling in schools, both academically and socially, there are plenty of kids who have a hard time transitioning to high school or jobs or college, because that is a normal part of growing up no matter what environment you are in. Why would anyone expect homeschooling to be perfect? Of course it isn't, but it's been around long enough to show that homeschooled kids are not any more likely to have these problems than schooled kids. it's a perfectly valid option, just like public or private school. I challenge anyone who is that skeptical and concerned about homeschooling to go spend a day at a co-op. Fact is, studies have been done where child psychologists observed groups of homeschooled and schooled kids together and didn't know which was which; they couldn't tell the difference. I doubt anyone else could... all your worries are in your head, basically.

Amy Hatch wrote that “she doesn’t buy” the fact that homeschooled children have “ample opportunities for socialization.” I’m not certain what the standards are for participation in extracurricular activities where she lives, but in our town soccer, baseball, football, flag football, karate, gymnastics, cheerleading, dance, scouting, and other programs are not run by the local public school and do not require enrollment in a public school to participate. Homeschooling parents do not have to organize these activities on their own. They just have to participate in their community. So, what doesn’t Mrs. Hatch buy? She just doesn’t want to buy it. If she does, it’s one less justification for the educational choice she and her husband made for their daughter.

Mrs. Hatch observed that by homeschooling her daughter she would deprive her of the experience of being taught by teachers like Ed Ladd or Mr. Hatch. Ironically, by not homeschooling she is depriving her daughter of the experience of being taught by Mr. Hatch.

If Mrs. Hatch believes that homeschoolers do not meet and deal with meanness, bullies, and ostracization on the playground then she really does not understand homeschooling. Homeschoolers are not children isolated from society. They learn to deal with these situations just like every other kid in America – through the school of hard knocks. They just don’t learn it in the hallway between classes, or on the play ground during recess. Ultimately, I don’t care whether or not Mr. and Mrs. Hatch homeschool their daughter, but stated reasons show a complete ignorance of life in a homeschool.

My son went to puplic school the first six years, then to a private school and then to High School in puplic. If I had to do it all over again and could not afford Christian private school, I would attempt to home school him, no doubt. Because they learn so much now then when I went to school, I would probably have to hire a tutor but still that is much better then all the peer pressure at school. My son only got in trouble at school and had his first drug experience at school, where in the bathroom, they forced him to smoke pot.

As someone who was homeschooled in a rural area, I found the social opportunities to be severely lacking. There is no doubt that the education can be tons better than that in the public school, but efforts must be made to make sure that the home schooled student isn't suffering socially. In urban areas, that isn't that hard. In a rural area, it needs work.

Socialization: the process by which the norms and standards of our society are passed from one generation to the next. (I've never really thought that a complete stranger's six-year old child would be a good source of information on the correct standards of behavior in our family and in society as a whole.)

Perhaps Mrs. Hatch is looking for a different term altogether, and that is "socializing." They do have the same root word but different meanings. As for socializing, I remember from my school days that it was something you weren't supposed to be doing during class!

I really respect Crystal a lot, I love her to death, but I have a huge problem with her saying that you can not keep the command in Duet. if you send your kids to public school. That is adding to the scripture which is a no no. No where does it say, keep your kids away from other people who are not believers in that verse. I tried to homeschool and felt like i was sinning because if I did put them in school because someone who follows vision forum told me that same line. We are their examples, NOT their teachers and that commandment can be followed wether you homeschool or not. People who use that I often feel make the scripture say this: Don't let your children be taught by anyone but you or other Godly people. My Bible does not say this. It says to talk to them about God all day long, which I do in the morning before they leave and at dinner when we pray and at night before we go to bed. I have real beef with people who follow a group of people namely vision forum, add to the scripture their spin on it to justify what they do. The fact of the matter is how are the schools and the world supposed to change without the salt and light?

"My Bible does not say this. It says to talk to them about God all day long, which I do in the morning before they leave and at dinner when we pray and at night before we go to bed."

With all due respect, how is "in the morning before they leave and at dinner when we pray and at night before we go to bed" all day long? In reality, the teachers your child encounters and their peers receive quite a bit more of your child's attention than you do.

Alex, how is it not all day long? Do you literally talk to your kids all day long? When do you teach them their alphabet? Are you talking to them about God then? Does that make you sinful? The scripture says to talk to them all day long, yet we are to work, cook, clean and do other things. I am not trying to be mean here, but come on, do you expect me to believe that you literally talk to your children all day long about God and nothing else? How dare you say I don't do it enough! Do you know me? You are proving my point just nicely. Very leagalistic.

Dear "Anynomus": 1) I think you meant "Anonymous," and 2) if you have such a strong and I think defensive opinion against the writer for homeschooling, and say you "know" her, at least grow a pair, a.k.a. have some guts, and identify yourself by at least your first name. Stand up and be heard! I am just saying...

Smackdown? Really? What are we: ten? We homeschool our kids and obviously I think the reasons we chose homeschooling are good. But I don't have a problem with those who choose other educational methods. Does it really have to be a "smackdown?" Choose what's best for your family & be supportive of other people's choices. This isn't the WWF, it's parenting.

I feel like BOTH authors did a great job describing the decisions they felt were best for THEIR families. Both outlined concerns that many people have with either choice, and were mostly respectful while doing it. I appreciate this sort of dialogue. Thank you.

TheTalkies

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