Racist, Demented Singles Ad Written By Dude Named "Romeo Rose" Because of Course

We here at Cosmo.com try to avoid hyperbole. Plenty of singles ads have been bad, but none of them have been The Worst Ever Since The Dawn Of Huge-Breasted Caveman Doodles. Until now.

In one fell swoop, Austin musician Laramie Busby (who goes by the name "Romeo Rose" because of course) manages to be racist, sexist, misogynstic, superficial, and generally appalling to the majority of women everywhere. On his now-defunct site Sleepless in Austin, he offers $1500 to anyone who can help him land his dream woman — which is no small feat (via The Daily Dot:

More From Cosmopolitan

"Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

I will not date a Black girl. I don't care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don't care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can't tell me it's going to be 100% as tight as it ever was!"

And no women from East Austin, please. Why, Romeo? "[East Austin] just looks like poverty striken, ghetto people crime infested neighborhoods, full of the trashy people that have long criminal records and lack any proper education."

In case you were wondering, he also hates President Obama, thinks 9/11 was an inside job, and worships wingnut conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. That said, here are his thoughts on why he is too good for regular, Muggle-version online dating:

It is my firm belief that most women on dating sites are so unattractive they just don't have many options in real life so they hide behind a screen. Or they just have too many issues. There's usually a reason why a woman would look for a man on a dating site. It's usually because she has tried to find a man in real life but couldn't. This is usually due to her appearance, or to other issues. Many women on dating sites have mental issues and are very unstable, many do not even have a job."