My little dog is missing. After this interview I’m going to put up posters and do the poster and mailbox thing.

I hate to hear that. I know how close an animal can be.

Yup. You’re right. Well, shoot away, baby.

There’s a lot going on with your company, Jill Kelly Productions. I guess the biggest news is the fact that it went public. How did that all come together?

Well, it’s actually something Bob and I talked about for years and he’s educated me to not be talent but to be management. It’s a transition that he’s been very, very cool with. Usually when I’d get hot-headed about something he’s taught me to let things go. He’s taught me to be management and not talent. You can’t be talent forever. As far as it going public, I’ve been so busy running the company that I’m still educating myself on that. I can’t really tell you this or that, but I’m learning and I’ll be able to tell you if it’s good or bad, you know?

How many titles is JKP releasing this year?

Scheduled? The usual eight. We may move that up to ten or 12.

You said you’re moving away from being talent. Do you ever think you’ll be in front of the camera again?

The only way I’ll be on camera is if it’s just an acting role. I’m ready for motherhood. I’m 32. I’m ready to settle down and do what women are supposed to do! I don’t know if that’s the best way to put it. I’m ready to be a mom. I never wanted to be a mother until now. I’m dying for it now.

So how close are you to making that happen? (Editors Note: This interview was conducted in early September. Like a good boy, I didn’t tell a soul about what you’re getting ready to read.)

I’m very close. We’re getting married in Maui on September 20. I’ve only told family and very close friends and let me tell you – You can count them on one hand!

It seems like the older you get the less ‘real’ friends you have.

Exactly! You get a little more wiser, you know? Only a few real friends know. We’re hoping to hopefully be pregnant by CES. I’ve never wanted children until now. It’s not like a typical porn star thing to be talking about! I’ve already had ‘em all, fucked ‘em all! What I want now is a child. I want something more. I guess when you’ve done everything sexually and been with pretty much every type of girl and every type of guy you need something more.

You’ve got several hot ladies under contract with you. Give us a rundown, please.

Sure. There’s Tyler Faith who’s sitting here right now. She’s a Bostonian and she the (whispers) oldest of the bunch. All the employees took a bet that she’s 22 or 23. That’s a good thing! There’s Jenna Haze, Starlet Of The Year. She has excellent work ethics. We have Ashton Moore who just does girls. Haven’s been on hiatus for the past year. Devon Davis is doing mainstream modeling now. She only did three movies in her whole career but we hired her on as a spokesmodel.

What do you think about her doing mainstream work?

I think it’s great. Sex sells and everybody enjoys it. Everybody craves something. SomeÂ people are too reserved. Sex is sex and it feels good! It’s a temporary high. I’ve been guilty of judging others by the sexual acts they do in the business. Who am I to say what’s right and wrong? Whatever they do and whatever they like, as long as nobody is forced to do something…It’s been a hard thing for me, but so be it.
We also have Cindy Crawford on our roster. She’s our newest find.

I’ve read a lot about her and saw her mentioned on a few websites.

That’s the way it should be. You know I never ever scroll on the internet and read the gossip sites. I learned years ago not to read that bullshit or you’ll start to believe it. I try to teach my girls that, but whatever. Last night I couldn’t sleep because my little dog was missing and I browsed around the internet because it was entertaining. Some guy said, “Bob Friedland fucks all the contract girls. Can I buy some stock in JKP now that they’re public just so I can fuck Jill Kelly?” (laughs) I loved it! Another one said something like, “JKP…They’re geniuses over there. They banned all their girls from Wankus and they’re still getting press and don’t have to be on time or do anything!” It’s so funny because people get so caught up in it. I feel so bad for these people that have nothing better to do than put people down. It makes me a happier person. I guess I was raised old-fashioned: If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

You mentioned the gossip sites…Did you ever see anything you’d like to clear up?

You can ask me anything you want.

Well, what about Wankus and KSEX? Were the girls really banned?

This is what happened. I had a few of my girls, and I’m not going to name names, call me up very upset because a lot of them frequent the website. Some were former girls, some are not. Wankus and I hosted a show a couple of years ago. Tom Byron, who’s a friend of mine, came up and bagged on Wankus. The whole time I thought Wankus was my friend. Well, one girl got trashed and got very upset and I thought “good publicity, bad publicity – it’s all publicity.” It kept going on and on and on. So yes, the girls do flake. You know what? It’s not just the contract girls. It’s guys, too and shit happens, man. That’s life. Whether or not they’re breaking up with their boyfriend or have personal drama, it’s not like they’re being unprofessional. People love to stir up stuff. Somebody could legitimately be hurt, like myself – a couple of times -, but that’s the media. I know you’re the media, but sometimes the media needs to clarify the facts. Some of the girls like myself or Jenna Jameson or Asia that have been around a long time know how it works. Fuck. Talk about me all you want. Say whatever you want as long as you talk about my company, my girls, and me. The younger girls don’t really realize that. Nobody wants anybody else to be happy. That’s not just in the adult business, either. The average person wants to believe all the bullshit.

A lot of people will come after you if you’re living a good life and have good things going on. It’s like they can’t stand it if you’re happy.

The most important thing that my first husband, who killed himself, told me is, “If they ain’t talking about you, you’re nothing.” This is way before I was in the business. People used to abuse him so badly, but you know – he’s right. I remember when Wicked was growing. I remember when they were a baby company. Chasey Lain was their contract girl. I remember Wicked was coming up right behind everybody else that was big. People gave Steve so much shit and bagged them all the time but look what they did. We’re obviously doing something right. It’s not all bullshit. We do run a family. It’s probably dysfunctional! I’ll never give in to what everybody wants, unless it’s a lot of money! (laughs)

So how are things outside of the business?

I’ve had the best thing and the worst thing in my life happen within this month. I lost my little doggie who went everywhere with me and I gained a future husband and step-son. It’s give and take.

The last time we talked was right before your accident last year. How are things?

I have a little over 50% usage of my arm. It’s better. I have feeling in three of my fingers now. I have two left. I’ve got my arm and I’ve got my life so I’m doing great.

So, Jill. What do you look for in a man?

Honestly, if I walk in a room and his face lights up. When I’m feeling down he calls me every hour to check on me. When he never lies to me.

The real stuff, not what’s on the outside, huh?

Well, he’s got to be attractive. He gotta be a good…well, not a great fuck. Honestly, my fiance I’ve only slept with two times.

What?

Really. We’re building a friendship. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older or maybe I’m jaded from the business. I don’t know. I know that he’s a wonderful father to his six-year-old son and he is wonderful to me and that is all that matters. That and I love my business and I’d never want to leave it. That is me today. Call me next month and I might change my mind! (laughs) I’m a woman. I’m allowed to change my mind!

You’ll kick my ass for saying this, but I could call you in an hour and you’ll have changed your mind!

Ahhhhhh! Are you married?

NO WAY!

That’s why! I know, you fucker! Hey, that’s what we’re allowed to do! We fuckin’ have periods and pregnancy and all that crazy shit that goes on. I’m glad I’m laughing. This is great! We’re allowed to change our minds! It’s our big excuse.

So you admit it’s just an excuse!?!

If we really, really, really, really, put our minds to it we can do anything because we’re just big moms taking care of all you little baby boys!