4. Hannah : I’m here to bang the hot guy who hit on me at the bar.Jacob : Jacob.Hannah : Jacob.Jacob : Are people still saying « bang »?Hannah : I do. And we’re gonna bang! Hmm? This is happening.

5. Hannah : Do you remember me?Jacob : Yeah.Hannah : Do you still find me attractive?Jacob : Yes.Hannah : Do you still want to take me home?Jacob : Yeah.Hannah : Let’s go.

6. Jacob : Are you Steve Jobs?Cal : What?Jacob : Hold on a second! Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?Cal : No.Jacob : Oh, ok. In that case, you’ve got no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever.

7. You’re sitting there with a Supercuts hair cut, you’re getting drunk on watered Vodka Cranberries like a fourteen year old girl and you’re wearing a forty four when you should be wearing a forty two regular. Honestly, I don’t know if I should help you or I should euthanize you.

8. Jacob : The skin under your eyes is starting to look like Hugh Hefner’s ball sack.Cal: It does.