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Thursday, January 30, 2014

You know it when you see it

I felt like eating pasta the other day so I went to QFC to
buy some tortellini. As I was shopping in the pasta aisle I saw a father and
son duo. They were communicating with each other without talking and from what
I could tell they were really enjoying their conversation. So much so that it
made me want to be a part of their conversation. There I was standing on the
side, looking through the corner of my eye, secretly wanting to get their
attention and have them say to me “Hey,
come and join us in this conversation.” The Dad was taking different kinds
of cheese and showing those to the son and seeing his son’s reaction whether
that particular cheese made the son happy or not-so-happy. In fact it reminded
me of something called ‘jugalbandi’, a
concept in Indian classical music. I know nothing about Indian classical music
but I have witnessed jugalbandi
between two maestros. It is a form of musical conversation between two artists
or musicians in which the two artists play with each other, one after the other. They
take cues about the next note from the facial & musical expression
of the other artist. It is one of the most expressive forms of communication
between two people. The conversation between this Dad and his son seemed like a
silent-jugalbandi. The Dad had his
eyes firmly planted on his son’s face, watching his son’s every eyebrow, jaw,
cheeks motion to read what he was saying. The intensity in the Dad’s eyes was
rock solid and transferred warmth, play and so much love. They were like cool
kids in school and I was meekly witnessing their coolness. As it so happened,
the son in this case was in a wheel-chair and the dad was working on his
physical and occupational therapy by letting the son hold string cheese, which
works your fine motor skills, and the shopping cart right in front of his
wheel-chair, which works on your fingers forming a grip. I took a mental note
of these ideas to work on Sammy’s fine motor skills in our everyday chores. Anyway,
before I could think of a way to join their silent conversation, the Dad
dragged the shopping cart forward to the next aisle, while the son was tightly
holding onto the cart and therefore moving along with the Dad. In that two minute
window I saw so much, but most importantly I saw a very proud father and an
extremely loved son.

On a somewhat different note, I came across this video on
someone’s blog.

I bawled my eyes out the first time I watched this video. The
second time I watched it, I was giggling at the sister’s reaction,
especially when the brother started crying. She had this funny expression of “I
love you too, weirdo!”

Be it the Dad in the grocery store, or the brother in this video - I think such pure unconditional love
is cool. And you know it when you see it.

This brother sister interaction reminded me of something
that Siddharth and I found really amusing the other day. Samaira and Rehan were
sitting facing each other and Rehan was playing with a plastic ring.

Samaira snatched the ring from Rehan and said “mine.”

Rehan started crying and tried to snatch it back from Samaira.
After a couple of tries he was successful.

Samaira took it back from Rehan and insisted “noooo, mine.”

Rehan took it back from Samaira. Again.

This happened for a few times, until Samaira decided it was
time for her to play with the train.

While Siddharth and I were witnessing this classic sibling
behavior, we couldn’t help but giggle, and honestly feel somewhat proud. I
know!! Proud is a strange word to use here. But the normalcy of this behavior
between a brother and sister made me feel really proud. Go figure! I know this
is just the beginning of years of painful sibling rivalry, and I am pretty sure
I might regret this later. I definitely won’t be proud then. But I am relishing the start of this rivalry. Call me
crazy! This is one relationship in which you fight with each other like cats
and dogs but feel extremely protective at the same time. This is one
relationship in which you don’t have to pretend to be nice in
front of each other, and at the same time, I haven't seen two siblings say nasty
things behind each other’s back. Actually I have seen some siblings do that,
and I don’t get it. I truly value the sanctity of sister-brother fights.

Because fighting as much as you want in front of each other, and not
saying bad things behind each other’s back takes a special kind of love. And you know it when you see it!