I was a 29 year old mother of three who had spent eleven years with my love. I was widowed. This diary begins five years after his death. I hope to capture the memories of this journey. The lessons. The joy. The sadness. The humor. The faith. The hope.

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Friday, April 5, 2013

Because I Stopped Playing

My oldest turned 18 this past week. 18. I was walking in a store and out of nowhere the tears started to flow.

This was not the life I wanted. Nor was it the life I thought my decisions would lead me to. I was a fun person and I wanted a fun home with laughter and joy.

Maybe that is how my grandkids will view my home... but it is not how my children will. I wanted the house where all the kids' friends wanted to come.

George Bernard Shaw said, “We don't stop playing because we grow
old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

I think I stopped playing. The question becomes, can I start to play and regain my youth?

My second anniversary is approaching. My oldest needed a Dad... and he has found one in my new husband. My husband has been a great blessing to him.... and to all of us. It feels like the last couple years have been years of recovery.

We need to play again.

In the spirit of playing... next week I am off to the Shaw Festival. I will have to remember what Mr. Shaw said... and hope that I can regain my youth by playing.