If you’re in the middle of a bad marriage, it can be very easy to begin asking the terrible question of how do you know when your marriage is over? This is because all the fighting, arguing, yelling, screaming, guilt, and the other things that go along with a marriage in trouble can be pretty astounding.

I was in the same spot you’re in not long ago in my marriage, and I was asking how do you know when your marriage is over? I didn’t know!

My marriage had gotten so messed up that we had actually gotten beyond the yelling and screaming. This may sound like a good thing at first but it was actually turning into total indifference. We got to the point of having so much resentment that we rarely even talked to each other at all unless it was mandatory.

This was starting to destroy not only our lives, but also our children’s lives. So of course I began really looking for the answer to how do you know when your marriage is over . However, one day I read something very intriguing that made me understand that maybe I was asking the wrong questions and looking for the wrong signs.

I realized that instead of asking how do you know when your marriage is over that maybe I should have been asking myself for the signs that my marriage could be saved. It was a paradigm shift that I HAD to go through in order to see that side.

You may be reading this trying to figure out how do you know when your marriage is over . But have you honestly asked yourself about the signs that your marriage is worth saving? How far in that direction have you looked?

Here are the signs that a marriage is over!

When there’s physical or emotional abuse in the relationship. When there is a constant cheating that isn’t being dealt with. These are significant signs that shouldn’t leave any doubt in your mind. That marriage is and should be over.

Beyond that, if none of those are apparent then there might be a great chance that you should start seeking signs that your marriage can be saved.

If you’re wondering what I read to change my view from how do you know when your marriage is over to signs that my marriage can be saved then you may want to read a very personal story where I reveal that, the effect it had on my marriage, and a little bit more by clicking here!

One of the most devastating blows to marriage has to be one spouse cheating on the other. Knowing how to fix a marriage after an affair is probably the biggest challenge you’ll ever face within a marriage, next to a sick child or death of a child.

What an affair essentially is, is the death of probably the one thing that holds any relationship together. It’s the ultimate death of trust.

Trust is one of those things that unfortunately isn’t appreciated until it’s broken. But, once it’s broken it’s an uphill battle to earn it back.

Hurt feelings, anger, resentment, thoughts of revenge, and even terrible thoughts such as suicide are often felt as a consequence of an affair. Sometimes this is felt by both the one who committed the affair, as well as of course the one who was the victim.

Sometimes there are children involved, and other times there’s simply a long history of love, attachment, and companionship. These things, no matter how much you may want to, aren’t easy to just turn off.

So is an affair the last straw of a marriage? Well it certainly doesn’t have to be.

It truthfully depends on how you handle the situation, where the relationship is, and how you see the situation in your mind.

Sometimes just to stay sane we have to look at things through a paradigm that we normally wouldn’t. Sometimes the best way to see an affair is simply as a turning point in a relationship… Or a brand new chapter in a marriage!

So How Do You Fix a Marriage After an Affair?

The number one thing is that you have to accept it as something that’s happened. (If it’s still happening then it’s time to set serious ultimatums both with yourself and your spouse) but if it’s done with and in the past then that’s where it has to stay.

There’s no changing that…no what if’s, or if I just had’s about it. None of that will get you anywhere but more frustrated, hurt, and resentful.

The next thing that you have to do is start working on the healing process. This is where the real work and integrity comes from both the cheater and the victim.

There will have to be a ton of honesty and getting down to brass tax. It’ll be a process of taking a broken foundation and piecing it together.

One thing that’s important is that you don’t make it a miserable experience going through this rebuilding phase. Think of it this way. You’re now in a brand new relationship that has to be rebuilt from the ground up just like it was the first time around.

There surely were some good times there that you can look back on and learn from…as well as some learning experiences where you’re much wiser now.

Use these to your advantage to build an even stronger bond than ever before, and eventually one day you’ll be able to wake up and find that you’re actually past it. That you’ve actually figured out how to fix a marriage after an affair.