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Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. We've got a tale of unparalleled love to help you celebrate the holiday. The Smoking Gun reports that police responded to a 911 call in North Dakota after a man was stabbed following a ménage a trois gone awry.

Cops report that Hunter and DeWitt--who met in prison--had been partying with several female acquaintances Friday night at a Fargo bar when they returned to Hunter’s residence (after a 2:30 AM McDonald’s pit stop).

Okay, first, let's recognize how integral the late night McDonald's stop was to this whole ordeal. Think about how badly this fiasco might have turned out had the parties involved been functioning on empty stomachs.

So, they make it back to Hunter's pad and things start to get hot and heavy.

DeWitt told police that he “began kissing on the couch” with one of the women, named Leticia. Soon, they were “under the covers and they had their pants off,” which led, of course, to the new couple having sex.

Hunter—clearly—wasn't going to miss out on the hot PDA going down in his living room, so he came out of his adjacent bedroom and joined the love birds. After some time, Hunter requested that DeWitt switch positions. When DeWitt rebuffed, Hunter allegedly became agitated.

He yelled at DeWitt and ordered him to leave the residence. DeWitt, seen at left, recalled that Hunter--who threatened to “f*** him up” and “kill him”--reached into the couch and retrieved a 12-inch butcher knife.

Okay, now things are real. DeWitt and Leticia hid in the bathroom. When Hunter allegedly forced his way in, DeWitt made a dash for the front door, at which time he says Hunter stabbed him in the back of the arm. DeWitt managed to escape the apartment with Leticia's cell phone. He called 911 from an alley.

Hunter's been charged with the stabbing and is in Cass County jail. [The Smoking Gun]