Inspirational Weekly Parsha Insights and anecdotes of Rabbi Schwartz and his never dull family as they acclimate and absorb into their new home in Karmiel Israel, having made Aliyah- August 2010

Karmiel

Our view of the Galile

Friday, August 21, 2015

Jewish Occupation- Shoftim 2015/5775

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 21st2015 -Volume 5, Issue 40 6th Elul 5775

Parshat Shoftim

Jewish Occupation

“A Rabbi ??!!, What type of job is that for a nice young
Jewish Boy?” My Savta didn’t pull any
punches, neither did my great Auntie Franka of blessed memory. My parents weren’t
too thrilled with the idea as well. “Eef you want to stahdy and learren a
leetel beet- dat’s fine-eet’s wanderfool even,, but you have to provide for
your faahmilee too” Let the goyim become rabbis, A Jew should be a doctor or a lawyer, worst
case an accountant, but a rabbi wasn’t gonna cut it for my family. So I went to
college. I got my degree. In finance, of course- it was shorter and easier than
law or medical school and allowed me to pursue my Semicha rabbinic ordination
at the same time while I was in Kollel. It helped me tremendously in life, this
degree of mine. I know understand the principles why I have no money. I think
it’s something to do with getting a real job.

My father really
would have loved me at least to join him in his business. Although he’s not a
doctor, but he prides himself on being an MD… a metal dealer. Selling metal was
never really my thing. Why sell metal when I can sell God. So I spent many
years doing exactly that. My yiddishkeit was enhanced by meeting and
growing off the inspiration of my fellow brothers and sisters and their
inspiration as we introduced them to Judaism. I even got to work on ShabbosJ. After moving to Israel,
when it was time in life to find a “real” job. I chose tour guiding once again
relishing the opportunity to sell not metal but rather ‘Eretz Sh’Avaneha
Barzel’- A land flowing with milk and honey whose very stones are compared
to metal. And there you have it my Jewish career.

The truth is though it’s a fascinating thing about the
Jewish people. According to my informal google searches Ivy League schools have
anywhere from 15-30% Jewish students in grad school. In medical and law schools
it’s even higher. We are about 2-3 % of
the population but are overwhelming represented in the fields that require higher
education, the US supreme court and even in the hi tech world. This is not only
explained by the higher IQ that Jews possess which has certainly been
documented. But rather by a intense drive by Jews to “make it”; to fix the
world. We have something in us as a nation driving us to create a complete
society that functions, with laws, with longevity, that solves the problems the
world faces with poverty and dysfunction. Now if only we could get everyone to
realize that the place that we are meant to do that from is Israel… Than we
could really get things done.

This week’s Torah portion describes for us the process of
setting up our country when we arrive here. It begins with the fascinating
mitzvah of setting up judges and officers of the law in all the gates of our
cities. Our sages explain this mitzvah and qualify and quantify it. There is
meant to be a court in Jerusalem where whenever we have a difficult case we
shall “Go up the place to that I have chosen for you and you shall come to
the Kohen and Levi that will be in your days and you shall ask of them and they
will tell you the law that you shall follow.”. Our sages teach us that the
court in Jerusalem would have 120 members on it, each minor city would have a
court of 23 Judges. A city incidentally would have to have at least 120 people
in it. This is a pretty mind-blowing concept if you think about and crunch
these numbers a bit. Where’s my Jewish accountants to do the math here? Each
Judge had two understudies. Which would mean that in a city of 120 people 69 of
them would be part of the court system. I know we need Jewish lawyers and judges,
but really?! More than half the population? I mean I know that we are a litigious
people, but we don’t really do the petty crime thing, how much court do we
need.

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig offers a fantastic insight, which is
that the function of a Jewish court system is not to merely enforce the law. In
fact he argues, that if a court and justice system is only about enforcing,
punishing and delivering verdicts and justice than the legal system becomes a
game of “is it worth the risk-or not?”. Jews are not meant to uphold the laws because
“crime doesn’t pay” rather it’s because crime is wrong. It’s a sin. It’s a
mistake that will remove you from Hashem and ultimately prevent you from
fulfilling yourself and achieving the Divine mandate for which we are here. A Jewish court system is meant to create a
society that appreciates Hashem; that teaches and serves the world as role
models of the beauty of the Divine system of Law that Torah and Mitzvos
provide. It is for that reason, the Torah tells us that the most important part
of our society is to have the court system not merely to enforce, but rather to
inspire society, to serve as a place where we can hear the word of Hashem. It
is for this reason, he suggests, that our Torah portion is adjacent to the
portion, from last week’s Torah portion that describes the mitzvah of the
holiday of Sukkot. Sukkot is the holiday when we leave our physical homes and
enter into the Divine Shade of Hashem’s glory for a week. When all our physical
surroundings are of being in the presence of Hashem and the Divine glory. That’s
what our cities are meant to look like. That’s what our land is meant to look
like. It is that light we are meant to shine out to the world.

There is a story told about Rav Avraham Pam, the great and
most humble of Roshei Yeshivas of Torah V’Daas in New York, who was once
summoned to Din Torah. It seems that someone had some financial claims against
the Yeshiva and they went to the Jewish court and subpoenaed the great elderly
Rabbi to come to court. His students were aghast at the audacity of this
individual. How dare he summon the Rabbi to court like one would any simple litigant?
Didn’t he realize this was one of the greatest Rabbis of the generation? When
they approached Rav Pam though, he was perplexed. He couldn’t understand what
the tumult was all about.

“I have been
called to a holy Jewish court, to seek out the word of Hashem. This is a mitzvah
of the highest order. It is an opportunity to hear what Hashem wants us to do.
This is an honor. How could one think otherwise?”

We are in the month of Elul and it is a time when we begin
to prepare ourselves for Rosh Hashana-our annual day of Judgement. These are
days that are reffered to as Yamim Noraim- Days of Awe. There are many that
tremble during these days, out of fear for what the New Year holds for us. Many
are busy doing the mitzvah of Teshuva, bettering our ways, aking forgiveness
from those that we wronged. These are all important things. Yet the bulk of our
prayers on the holy days that approach us will be about the “big plan” for the
world. That Hashem’s kingdom will reign supreme. That sin will be destroyed and
that the land will rejoice in the ultimate fulfillment of our Divine mandate.
We will feel the holiness. The world will acknowledge the truth. Parshat
Shoftim, which is always read in the beginning of this month serves as a
reminder to us of this big picture. A world of justice. A world where there
will be no need for lawyers and even doctors, as we will have achieved the
perfection and brought the world to its ultimate Tikun. We’ll still need Rabbis
and tour guides though… I think

While in the states I picked up a great book with
yiidsh quotes and wisdom and I have always wanted to teach my kids Yiddish so
here we go each week another great proverb in yiddish maybe you guys will learn
it too!!

“Aider
me zogt arois s’vort, iz men a har; dernoch iz men a nar”- Before
you utter a word you are the master; afterwards you’re a fool.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"Doctors are just the same as
lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors
rob you and kill you too..”-Anton Chekov

.“Where
there are too many policemen, there is no liberty. Where there are too many
soldiers, there is no peace. Where there are too many lawyers, there is no
justice.”-Lin Yutang

RABBI
SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

(New exam this week these questions are from the
most recent tour guide exam-let’s see how I do)

answer below at end of Email

The first
Crusader King was

A.Godefroy
de Bouillon

B.Baldwin
the First

C.Richard
the Lion Heart

D.Fredrick
the First

.RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL MIDRASH OF THE WEEK

The weeks Portion tells us about the mitzvah to
build cities Arei Miklat of refuge for someone who kills someone else
unintentionally to flee there. The law is that the court is obligated to put up
signs all over telling people how to get there, so there would not be any need
for them to ask people directions. The signs probably said Ir Miqlat though
with a “Q” as it seems Israelis have a thing for that letter in all the cities
here. The reason for this specific mitzvah for signs, the midrash tells us is
so as not embarrass the murderer and force him to humiliate himself. Rabbi
Chama Bar Chanina applied the verse “Good an upright is Hashem, therefore he
instructs sinners the way”. If Hashem is so concerned that even sinners
find the right way certainly much more so he does so for the righteous.

It’s interesting that the counter to this mitzvah
is the pilgrimage road to Jerusalem, there were no signs in order that people
would ask others and increase the glory of the mitzvah inspiring others to come
with them to Jerusalem. They would be forced to ask directions. And others
would then join them. I can tell you the way if anyone out there wants to come.
I’m heading there next week J

RABBI
SCHWARTZ'S COOL THINGS TO DO IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK-

That Yonah doesn’t think I can come up with each week…

Finding your Bashert – They tell me that there is a
Shidduch Crisis or as others refer to ita Shidduch Catastrophe in America. Maybe
it’s another sign and gentle push from Hashem for people to come move to
Israel. Here in Israel it seems there are plenty of nice guys and girls to
marry (I know one of the latter J). But many people have told me
that it is much easier here. First of all being an American is an added benefit
here as well as speaking English helps. Second since there are a much smaller
population and demographic of American Olim here so there’s great networks and
a pretty much even playing field without all the competition that goes on in
the States. In addition, weddings are cheaper here, people are much more laid
back about them and everyone is your family and participates in your simcha.
Finally finally how cool is it that finding your Bashert here and marrying her
is a fulfillment of the ancient promise and prophecy that the streets will once
again be filled with the sounds of Brides and Grooms from their wedding feast.
Jeremiah never said that about the Terrace on the Park in New York….

******************

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S LAWYER JOKES OF THE WEEK

lawyer
and an elderly Hasidic man are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The
lawyer is thinking that Hasidim are so dumb that he could get over on them
easily. So the lawyer asks the Hasid if he would like to play a fun game.

The
old Hasidic man is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines
and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a
lot of fun. "I ask you a question and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me only $5. You ask me a question and if I don't know the answer, I will
pay you $500".

This
catches the Hasidic man's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to
play the game.

The
lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the
Moon?" The elderly Hasid doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls
out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now
it's the Hasid's turn. He asks the lawyer "What goes up a hill with three
legs and comes down the hill with four?"

The
lawyer is stumped, so he uses his laptop and searches all references he could
find on the Interet. He sends emails to all the smart friends he knows, all to
no avail. After one hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes up the
Hasidic man and hands him $500. The old Hasid pockets the $500 and goes back to
sleep.

The
lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes up the elderly man and
asks "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with
four?"

The
Hasid shrugs, reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to
sleep.

***********

Q:
In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?

A:
When it graduates from Law school.

Q:
How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?

A:
When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.

A
lawyer, a Jew and a Hindu were on vacation. They were taking a road trip
through the backwoods of Tennessee and they were tired but could find no hotel
with a room to rent for the night. They came across a farmhouse and thought
they might as well try to convince the owner to let them stay there.

“Sure,
y’all can stay here tonight,” the farmer said. “But the guest bedroom only
sleeps two so one of you will have to sleep in the barn. Don’t worry about that
barn — it’s nice out there and I sleep there myself when the wife is mad at
me.”

The
barn sounded good to the Hindu.

“Y’all
take the bed and I’ll sleep out in the barn,” he said.

So,
the lawyer and the Jew were getting settled down in the bed when they heard a
knock at the door. It was the Hindu.

“There’s
a cow out there,” he said. “It’s against my religion to sleep with a cow.”

“No
problem,” the Jew said. “You two take the bed and I’ll go sleep in the barn.”

So
the lawyer and the Hindu were getting settled down in the bed when they heard a
knock at the door. It was the Jew.

“There’s
a pig out there. There’s no way I’m sleeping with a pig.”

“Fine,”
the lawyer said. “You two take the bed and I’ll go sleep in the barn.”

The
Jew and the Hindu were getting settled down in the bed when they heard a knock
at the door.

It
was the cow and the pig.

****************

Answer is B: So this is a
really trick question. First of all a bit about the Crusaders. They were really
bad people. They slaughtered Jews and destroyed Jewish communities on their way
to Israel to redeem the land from the Moslem infidels. They killed them too.
The first Crusade was led by Godfrey and his brother Baldwin. Godfrey was the
first ruler but…. He chose not to take the title King. Believing that there was
only on “king” of Jerusalem. Sadly it wasn’t “The King” Hashem but someone who
impersonated as “His”
prophet/son/Messiah. His brother though didn’t have some compunction and
had no problem declaring himself as king. Richie and Freddy were in the Third
Crusade, after the Crusaders were thrown out by Salaadin. Freddy also known as
Barabarossa never made it here, he drowned along the way, which is a good
thing. Richard did make it here and setteled it up with Saladdin, when he lost
his battle at the Horns of Hittin and he they then moved the capital from
Jerusalem to Akko

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About Me

Hi, thanks for popping in. I am a recent Oleh. My wife Aliza and children Shani, Yonah, Rivkah, Elka and Tully recently moved to Karmiel Israel from Seattle Washington where we used to have a little Shul in our home the West Seattle TLC (Torah Learning Center). I have been involved in Jewish educational outreach for over 15 years. Originally a Detroiter, we have been lucky enough to live in Midwood New York, Des Moines Iowa, Norfolk Virginia and Seattle. I'm just a down to earth guy who would rather talk in the front of the shul than the back so i became a Rabbi where that becomes your job. I love Jews,Stories, Israel, and chulent. Recently we opened up the Young Israel of Karmiel and look forward to greeting the many North American and Anglo Olim who will join us here in the beautiful Galil.
Please comment away I thrive on your input. Thanks!

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