We're sure the sheriff can put down a dog or two, but we've got some experience in overindulging on heart-attack-inducing meats.

In May, New Times staffers participated in an eating contest at Big Earl's BBQ in Scottsdale. We earned an impressive second-place finish after gorging 15.4 pounds of brisket, potato salad, fried pickles, and other (ahem) delicacies.

Granted, nearly every member of team New Times puked following the contest, but it was worth every chunk.