Last week, British spy Gareth Williams was reportedly found in his apartment, stabbed to death and stuffed in a gym bag. Well, turns out he wasn't stabbed to death; his death was much more mysterious and movie-like.

The body of Gareth Williams, a British spy connected to MI6, was found stabbed to death and stuffed …
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Every last paper in the UK today reports the hot spy death update: nobody knows how Williams—who worked on "codes" for the British equivalents of the NSA and CIA—died. They just know it was weird.

After colleagues reported him missing, police broke into his flat and found his partially decomposed body locked inside a large sportsbag in the bath, the hearing was told...There were no obvious injuries on his body, which is thought to have lain undiscovered for more than a week.

So his dead body—with "no obvious injuries"—was not only stuffed inside a duffel bag, but locked inside a duffel bag. Then of course there are the conspicuous gay escort phone numbers strewn about, which may or may not just have been planted there to make him look gay, notwithstanding whether he was or was not gay.