It's really hard to have a list of safe foods or a list of milk foods because the companies change the ingredients to "improve" their product. The best thing to do is read every label. Read them twice before purchasing and again before you feed it to the allergic member of your family. It gets easier over time but at first, it's easy to miss something.
Try to stick to the simplest of products; the fewer the ingredients, the less likely it has your allergen. I read somewhere that the cheaper brands are less likely to add butter or milk and so may be safer.
I found it helpful to read about coping strategies and here is the thread that was started on books worth reading. You might find them at your local library of request them for birthday, mothers’ day or Christmas presents.
http://www.allergicliving.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=229

I found that it's easier to take a list of the dairy words to the store with you and choose your products that way. I have also found that alot of generic brands tend to not have dairy in them, but always check!! The health food store is sometimes a good bet, or the organic aisle in a larger grocery store will sometimes store their dairy free items there. Our Shoppers Drug Mart actually has dairy free ice cream and tetra packs of soy milk available in their healthy living section. Good Luck!

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