We’ve never met before, so this may seem a bit odd, but I feel this is necessary. My name’s Jay for starters, I work the checkout line at the grocery store up on 67th Street. You know the one with the parking lot that’s way too big for the the store itself? Yeah, that one. I’m 24, fairly tall and have a rather scraggly appearance. You probably wouldn’t recognize me if I came up to talk to you, I don’t have a very memorable face. Heh, I don’t really know why I’m telling you all this to be honest… But, this isn’t the point of me writing you.
I was working late at night yesterday, it was a very average day for the most part. Nothing too exciting happened, but you’d be surprised how interesting this job can get at times. I’d been reading some book the guy that’d worked that counter the shift before me had left, it was some really crappy murder mystery chock full of cliches. Incredibly boring, if you ask me. But… It’s something to do I guess. When you showed up though, my whole night changed. I don’t know exactly what it was about you that caught my attention at first, but as soon as I saw you I got this odd feeling. A weird mix between excitement and terror, that’s the best way I can describe it at least. I saw you walk into my line and I quickly composed myself, I’d been slouching down in my chair for a while since I rarely ever get anyone in my line. It was only when you got closer that I realized what about you had caught my attention… You were absolutely beautiful. You walked up and said “hey” and handed me your cart. I could tell by the way you were talking and the way you looked that you were very sleep deprived, though this wasn’t surprising considering how late it was. After a second or two of awkward silence I realized that you’d greeted me, I suddenly forced out a “h- hi” in response. I cursed myself out mentally for that one.
I sat there for a second, trying to focus. “What’s your name?”, I said. It’s only later I realize how odd this must have seemed, what kind of a grocery bag guy asks what someone’s name is? I’m glad I did though. I remember, you said you were named Abigail, but that you go by Abby for short. Abby, it seemed to fit so perfectly. The name seemed to roll off my tongue as I said it back to myself silently. It was like sweet honey, it just felt good as I said it. You seemed to be perplexed when I looked back at you, and I wondered if I’d done something to upset you. “Shouldn’t you be packing those?” you said and pointed to your groceries. Suddenly shocked and embarrassed, I looked up and apologized, then clumsily started shoving groceries into bags as fast as I could. I couldn’t believe myself, how stupid could I be? But when I looked up, I realized you were laughing.
“You’re kind of cute” you said. I tried to play it off cool, but I was obviously thrilled. A girl like this thought I was cute? “You are too” I said, as I hastily packed the rest of the groceries. As you walked out, you turned around as you reached the door and said “Have a good night”. I’m guessing I look pretty stupid writing all this down, you probably still remember it, I mean it did just happen yesterday. But I went home ecstatic that night and with all the confidence in the world. I feel like it’s almost unreal writing it back here.
Anyways, I wanted to write you this letter Abby to tell you that, I love you. I don’t know what it was I felt that night, it was some weird mix up of emotions. But all I know was that even in that small little transaction we had, I felt as if there was something between us.
Please, write me back soon.

Sincerely, Jay

Dear Abby,

It’s been a week since I sent my last letter and I still haven’t gotten a response, but that doesn’t matter. How’ve you been? My life’s been just as normal as usual, get up, go to work, go to bed. I live in a really shitty apartment, but I guess that’s what you get when you work as a grocery bagger. I’ve thought about you a lot lately, and I sometimes wonder if you still remember me.
I saw you again today at work, this time it was at a more reasonable hour, thankfully. I didn’t want to bother you to see if you’d approach me on your own. You came to my line again, which made me absolutely thrilled. This time I was less nervous, I was going to act normal no matter what you did or said. I wasn’t going to let a girl like you slip through my fingers. As you walked up you muttered something that was too quiet for me to make out, and waited at the end of the counter for me to finish packing your groceries. This obviously wasn’t what I had expected, but it wasn’t all too bad. You didn’t seem to feel anything at all, actually. I was expecting you to either come up and talk to me or avoid me like the plague, but instead you just walked on through as if I was another stranger. This makes me wonder if you got my last letter, you should check your mailbox more often.
There was one moment where I felt something though. I looked over briefly to see what you were doing, and at the same time you seemed to look up at me to see how far along I was. Right then, are eyes locked. Only for a second or two, but in those two seconds I saw so much more in you than I had seen last time. I felt as if I had known you for years, like I knew all your intricate feelings and emotions. Did you feel anything like that with me?
Shortly after I’d finished packing your bags you paid and walked out, obviously this was a pretty normal process for me considering I do it about 50 times every day, but I had been determined since the night I wrote you that letter that the next time I saw you I was going to get more out of it. I kind of screwed that one up… I wasn’t satisfied with it, I had to have more. There’s a little room in the very back left corner of the grocery store designated for staff. In there though I knew they kept all the security footage from the day, all staff are informed of this and the security camera’s locations when they’re hired. Luckily for me, there’s one positioned right next to my counter.
I waited until the store closed up and everybody left, and then I went in. After flipping through a few of the TV screens, I found the one that was connected to the camera by my counter. I re-winded it until about when I remember you coming in. After a few minutes of scanning, I’d found it. There you were, I paused on the best still shot I could find. I knew the camera wouldn’t do you justice, but it was the best I could have for now. Having a longer look at you I realized how truly perfect you were. Every feature of your body, your hair, your face, your legs… Your chest, was just perfection. I re-winded the tape to when you’d first came up to my line a few times, I couldn’t help myself. My eyes were glued to the screen.
After a few minutes of consideration, I popped out the tape and shoved it in my pocket, and then drove home. I knew I wasn’t allowed to, I could very well be fired for taking such actions, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to have you with me at all times, even if it means me losing my job.
Abby, I love you. I love everything about you. I think about you constantly now. Do you feel the same way about me Abby? I just want us to be together, forever.
Write back soon.

Yours truly, Jay

Dear Abby,

It’s been 3 days and I still haven’t gotten a reply. Why don’t you want to talk to me? I’m still unsure if you got my last two letters, please tell me if you have.
So I got fired from my job, they found the missing tape. I got a call from the store owner, my boss, at 6 am on Monday and was told to come in immediately. They were having a mandatory all staff meeting. When I got there, all of the staff was gathered around a small table with the owner at the head of it. Once everyone had arrived he told us that apparently there had been a minor robbery yesterday, they’d had about 200$ worth of stuff taken from them. And the one tape that would have shown who was the culprit was the one I had taken… Just my luck. He told us that no one was going to leave the room until someone confessed. After a few minutes, I finally gave in. I told him everything, about how I felt as if me and you had had some kind of connection. After explaining the whole story, the entire room was staring wide eyed at me. After I finished, I sat there in silence for several seconds. Suddenly, the store owner broke the tension. “Jay, you’re fired. Get out of here now and don’t come back,” He said.
I did as I was told and got out of there as fast as I could. That stupid prick, he’s always treated me like shit. He’s been on my case since the day I got the job, I swear he’s just been waiting for me to do one little thing that could justify firing me. And the one time I slip up he finds out. Why didn’t he understand though? Doesn’t he get that you and I are meant for each other? Any rational man would have understood, anyone put in my situation would have done that, right?
I’ve been searching you up a lot lately, with no job I have all the time in the world to spend learning about you. Do you know how much you can find out about someone with just a first name and a town of residence? I found out your last name’s Marrot… What a beautiful name, Abby Marrot. I can’t help but say it aloud whenever I think about you. I also found out you’re 24, and you only live a mile away from me. I drove down to your apartment complex today, it looks very nice, much nicer than where I live. I asked to see you multiple times, but I was told that you weren’t there every time. I felt more and more discouraged every time, but I was determined to see you again.
After a few hours of asking, I decided to stay back in the parking lot for a while waiting for you to come back, and after many hours of waiting you did. It was late at night, around 10 I believe. I saw you pull up in your car and get out. I felt a sudden rush of warmth at seeing your face again, I know I have the security camera tape to look at, but it doesn’t compare to seeing you in real life. I made sure to record it for later when I was at home, this time with a much higher quality camera. I wanted to capture as much detail as possible, I didn’t know the next time I would see you and the security tape wasn’t enough for me anymore.
I asked the woman at the front desk multiple times what your room number was, but she refused to tell me. She thought I was some sort of creep, see Abby, these people don’t understand us, they don’t understand what we feel for each other. I ended up waiting in the parking lot a little while longer until someone came out. After talking to him for a bit, he told me what your apartment number was. He didn’t want to talk at first, but I made him… You’d be surprised what you can make people tell you when you’re holding a knife to their chest. Don’t worry, I didn’t hurt him too bad, but we can’t have someone interfering with us. Don’t you agree Abby? I’m sick of all these people trying to keep us apart.
I ended up watching you from the parking lot for a while, once I found out your room number and how the rooms in this complex were organized it wasn’t hard to locate it. You should be more careful about shutting your blinds you know, I was easily able to watch you from the parking lot.
I can’t get you out of my head anymore, ever. All I do is watch that video I took of you over and over. Abby, I want to be with you forever. I want to wake up in the morning to see you next to me in bed.
I cannot wait until the next time I see you again.

Love, Jay

Dear Abby,

I have some really exciting news Abby, I’m moving in with you! Aren’t you excited? We can spend hours and hours and hours together, it’ll be just perfect.
Let me explain, my job paid just enough so I could make rent and pay for food every week. Because of this, I had little to no money in savings, no where near enough to last a very long time. When you take that money flow away it doesn’t take very much time until you have nothing left. I was able to get by for a few days, but just today I got evicted. This could actually be better then I had originally thought, I wouldn’t be surprised if that guy that gave me your room number has been able to contact the police by now. This way they won’t be able to find me, and we get to spend all the time in the world together. It’s perfect isn’t it? I made sure to bring all my tapes and photos I’ve taken with me though, and my cameras of course.
You should really tell who ever’s managing your apartment complex to get better staff, I was able to get by security easily. I went up to your room and knocked on the door, but I got no answer, so I decided to get in by other means. After scanning the footage I took from last night over a few times I noticed that you have a ventilation shaft in the corner of your room, not surprising considering how hot it can get in the summer here. I figured there had to be some kind of maintenance hatch that I could get in through. After a few minutes of looking around, I found a door at the end of your hall that seemed to be some kind of staff room, and luckily there was a way into the vents there.
I crawled through them until I got to your room, it was very cramped and hard to move around in, but I managed. When I got there though, I felt a rush of success. I figured since the lights were out and I couldn’t see you that you weren’t home, but I’m patient. I scanned every part of your room, trying to memorize all the intricate details. Your scent over-whelmed me as I sat there, I had caught it briefly during the two times I saw you at the store, but never this strong. It was mesmerizing, I couldn’t quite place my finger on it but it reminded me of something, it was almost like peaches. I sat there hunched over for a few hours, though I’ve taught myself to be extremely patient. I can sit completely motionless for hours at a time, not moving a muscle, no one was going to notice me.
Then, you finally got home. I felt a wide smile form on my face the second I heard the door open. There you were, my love. Of course you took no notice to my presence, the light in your room seemed to be angled perfectly so you couldn’t see anything in the vent after the first few inches. I tried to contain my excitement, but I started breathing very heavily. I tried to cover it up as best I could, but it was hard… You suddenly looked right at the vent. I went completely silent. After a few seconds though you seemed to lose interest, this made me smile. This was the perfect spot.
I could tell I had startled you though, all throughout the night you were turning over in your sleep to look at the vent. People seem to have a of sense for when they’re being watched, it can send them into complete panic. Don’t try to fake it Abby, I can tell when someone’s awake, when someone’s truly scared sleep becomes impossible. Why are you so scared anyways? It’s just me, why would I scare you? You do love me, right? You know I love you.
I’m looking forward to spending every day with you now Abby, write back if you can.

Love, Jay

Dear Abby,

I saw you wake up this morning, I didn’t sleep a wink last night. You were too enthralling, I spent the whole night watching you. I couldn’t help it… Anytime I tried to look away my eyes seemed to be drawn back a few seconds later. You look even more amazing when you’re sleeping, you know. You’d be surprised how much you can learn about a persons personality by watching them sleep. I was tempted to get out of the vent to get a better view of you multiple times in the night, but I resisted the urge. I couldn’t have you figuring out I’m here, not yet at least.
You seemed to spend a lot of time in your bathroom in the morning, I assumed you were taking a shower or putting on make up. Why would you do that Abby? Anything you could do to change the way you naturally look would only cover up your true beauty. Why would you want to do that, don’t you want the whole world to see what I see in you?
You left shortly after to work, or at least that’s what I assumed. After careful consideration, I decided to leave the vent. I slid my hand through one of the slits and felt around for one of the bolts. The surface of the vent was very smooth, which made them very easy to find. I grabbed onto one and twisted as hard as I could, and finally was able to pop it off. I did this with all the other bolts and finally removed the grating.
The first thing I did was go over to the bathroom. I quickly disposed of everything I could find that you could use to mask your face, that stuff disgusts me. This way everyone’ll get to see you how you truly are. I also found something else in there, your hair brush. I grabbed it and brought it close up to my face to examine it. It was a dull blue, with a very thick rounded handled. But that wasn’t what interested me, the hairs… That’s what made me so interested. I took a good few minutes to pull every one of them I could see out and line them up on your counter. I counted them, I’d gotten 59. This pleased me greatly, I quickly scooped them up and put them in my pocket.
I spent the rest of the day going through your stuff to learn more about you, your interests and such. I take it you’re a big movie fan Abby? I found your collection in the back of your closet, I have to say it was quite impressive. I found something else in there that made me mad, a picture of you with another man. It disgusted me just looking at him, holding you like he owned you. I’M the only one that can have you Abby. No one else.
At about 8:30, I considered starting to get back into the vent, since that’s usually about when you get back from work… Then I had another idea. I looked at your bed, the blankets hung low enough to the floor that you couldn’t see underneath the bed unless they were lifted up. I first screwed the vent grating back on, and slowly slid under with a smile on my face, and waited for you to get home. When you finally came in you looked completely pale, and I noticed someone else came in behind you. They were talking to you about hearing noises coming from your room throughout the day. I mentally yelled at myself, I would need to be more careful from now on. Going under the bed had been a good idea though, since obviously your first thought was to check the vent. You thanked the person and they left. Finally you and I were alone.
I sat there in silence until you went to bed, it seemed to be an eternity before you did. I wanted to get a closer look at you tonight, and this was my chance. You got in bed and turned off the lights. I was cautious though, I waited for hours to make sure you were asleep, and when I was sure you were I slowly slid out from under the bed. And I saw you there, you looked absolutely stunning. Every curve of your body was perfect, every little detail was beautiful. I was in awe just looking at you. I reached out my hand and I started to stroke your face, it was soft like silk. I felt myself starting to get hard, your beauty was over whelming. I slowly reached down and started to pleasure myself, I tried to control myself out of worry of waking you up, but I couldn’t help it. I felt pure ecstasy, everything about you was perfect.
Suddenly, you seemed to turn and started to wake up. Horrified, I quickly slid back under the bed trying to be as quiet as possible. A few seconds I saw you get out of bed and look around. I could sense your fear even without looking at you, you should feel calm with me around you Abby. I’ll protect you Abby, no one will ever touch you but me, I’d kill someone for you Abby.
I made sure to pay attention today, you didn’t bring in my letter from yesterday or any mail at all, you must just not check your mailbox. I’m going to change that though, I’m going to leave this one on your desk tomorrow.
Oh, I forgot to mention, I’m making something special for you. Check in your closet after you read this.

Yours forever, Jay

Dear Abby,

I spent more time today working on the surprise while you were at work, you’re really gonna love it Abby. I’ve put a lot of work into it you know. I spent a few hours today putting the finishing touches on it, and I think it’s finally ready for you to see.
You got home at about 8:30 again, and saw the letter laying on your desk almost immediately. I started to smile as I saw you open it, waiting to see your reaction. It was really quite interesting watching your face, I could see all your different emotions and thoughts. You seemed to be confused at first, then shocked, then horrified. You started to shake violently and I saw that you were starting to cry, do you not like me Abby? Why were you crying? Don’t you love me? DON’T YOU LOVE ME ABBY?
Everything after that was a blur, you looked over to the closet while still sobbing. You seemed to be contemplating whether to open it or not. Instead, you ran past it and out the door. When you came back you had all my letters in your hand and started going through them. At some point you seemed to break down and curl up on the floor, tears still rolling down your face. I could tell you were desperately trying to say something, anything, but you were to paralyzed in fear. After about 10 minutes, I saw you look under the bed, in the vent, anywhere I could be. You see though Abby, I’m smarter than that. I knew you’d look in those places, I found a better place after I finished your surprise. You’ll never find me here, no one will. Isn’t it great? I can watch you forever and ever and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it.
You hadn’t found your surprise yet though Abby, and I could tell you were still thinking about it. I saw you look over to your closet, I knew you wanted to open it but at the same time you were nervous. What was going to be in it? What would you find? This couldn’t last forever though, you and I both knew that. I watched you slowly walk over to your closet, fumbling with the handle trying to get a firm grasp on it. Suddenly, you flung the doors open and saw it.
It was a scrapbook, of me and you. I saw you flipping through the pages, you seemed to be shocked. Do you not like it Abby? I got pictures of you and I when you weren’t looking, pictures of you sleeping, pictures of you at your computer. I’d scattered the hairs I had collected throughout it, along with pictures of couples together, of course with our faces on them though. I got that picture of you with the other guy and put it at the very back, except I didn’t leave it like it normally was. I scratched that little prick’s face off. I hate him so much. If I knew who he was I would hunt him down and make him suffer. Don’t you get it Abby? No one, NO ONE can have you but me. Me and you are meant for each other, no one else.
I watched you sob for another 30 minutes, and then get up and run out of your apartment. Shortly after you came back with multiple police men. This shocked me. Did you not like the surprise Abby? Why would you bring these people into our room? They’ll never find where I am, but if they did it could ruin everything. All my work from the last few weeks would be for nothing. You wouldn’t want that, right Abby?
I’m exhausted from todays work, and as much as I love you, I need sleep Abby.
Have a good night, I love you.

Love, Jay

Dear Abby,

Do you see what you’ve done Abby? DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE? I woke up at 8 am to see you franticly packing your bags, I was confused at first, but then I understood. You were leaving me. You don’t love me. You don’t love me. How could you do this to me Abby, you were the only thing I wanted in life, I had nothing else to live for, but when I first met you I saw a shimmer of hope. I thought that I’d finally have reason to wake up in the morning and go on with my shitty life. And you went and threw that away. How could you do this to me Abby?
A few seconds after you left your room I got out of my hiding spot and followed behind you. I saw you throw your bags in the back and then get in your car and start it. I wasn’t going to let you get away though Abby, I would never let that happen. I ran as fast as I could to your car and smashed out the window and dragged you out. Did you really think you could get away from me Abby? I had to hit you over the head to knock you out, you were making too much noise. Someone else, someone that doesn’t understand, could have seen and ruined everything.
Well, I had a plan for if you reacted like this. I drove out to the storage unit at the edge of town, I’d reserved a slot the day I decided to move in with you. I drove up and unlocked it, I grabbed you and carried you inside it with me. It had only been a few minutes so you were still unconscious, I made sure to check through your pockets to make sure you didn’t have your phone with you. I set you down at the very back of the small room, then i got in and lowered the door. I called the owner of the storage unit and told him that I had visited my lot the other day and forgotten to lock it, and asked him if he would mind locking it for me. Of course, he said yes, and I hung up. I then threw the phone on the ground and stomped on it, to make sure that it’d never work again. Shortly later I heard the owner come up and lock the door.
About an hour later, I saw you start to get up. I first heard a very faint grunt, then I saw your leg start to move. Shortly after you were fully awake. When you saw my face, you started to scream, which then subsided to a whine and then to a whimper. That’s when you saw it, the one other thing in the room. My knife. It was obvious why it was there, and after a second or two of realization you jumped and grabbed it.
I looked you dead in the eyes and said “Abby, I love you.” and then I felt the searing pain of the knife being driven into my side, I felt it being pulled out and jabbed back in with great force. I could feel it go in each time, like a fire burning a hole through my chest. I fell to the floor, laughing while coughing up blood. I saw you back away, trembling, and sit back down in the corner.
And now, as I sit here in a puddle of my own blood writing this, I wonder how you’ll go out. Will you use the knife to take your own life? Or will you let starvation take you? Either way, we’ll be together in death Abby. Together from the day I saw you till the day we both died, just as I wanted it. And as you sit there, crying, I can tell you’ve come to this realization. Abby, this is all I ever wanted, and for that I have to say thank you.

First comment I have ever made, felt it neccesary. This was wonderful and well written. Very enthralling. I enjoy the realistic pastas the best and nothing about this seems far fetched or impossible. Thank you for an entertaining 15 minutes or so. Honestly incredible, aside from Candle Cove which for some reason strikes a chord with me, perhaps due to the manufacturing of memories this is the best pasta I have ever read. Kudos to the true author and to whoever posted it. Im drunk right now btw sorry for rambling on like Led Zeppelin but thanks again truly entertaining thank God I have a girl to cuddle with she liked it too

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Rating: +118 (from 136 votes)

neef.k

Wow this is really one of the best pastas i have read. Do keep up the good work.

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Rating: +29 (from 33 votes)

Some Fat Guy

Don’t you mean “best pastas you’ve ever eaten?”

This one was good.

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Rating: +13 (from 25 votes)

Abby ._.

Considering Abby is my name, and I love movies ( I wanna be a director) like how it was said in the creepypasta, That was awesome. ._.

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Rating: +47 (from 49 votes)

Jay

Hi Abby, I’m Jay.

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Rating: +75 (from 81 votes)

Johnny C.

Shit just got real.

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Rating: +35 (from 37 votes)

Admirer

Eeewwwwww

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Rating: -3 (from 11 votes)

Anonymous

Hold on a minute. Jay, how did you write the last letter if you were dead?

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Rating: +10 (from 18 votes)

http://www.FoxFacts.com Isaiah

I loved this pasta it was weird put funny.And jay u are a serious mother f**** stalker.

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Rating: +6 (from 8 votes)

joe

i agree with u abby u should make a movie on this pasta and then do a sequel about her writing her last days in the storage al though when shes about to die u can atleast get her boyfriend to catch up to everything that had to do with the police man and then go look for her and at the ending….. ending for her boyfriend to go after the guy and try to kill him and get all his information and goes to the storage and claims to be “jay”s friend and that he forgot the key and ask to the man if he can open his friends storage slot ..then opens the storage room and about when he opens the slot he finds his girlfriend and a jay DEAD.and on his grilfriends hand there is a knife

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BlueFox

How could he try to kill Jay if he’s already dead? And the boyfriend wouldn’t be given the key to the storage unit just because he claimed to be Jay’s friend. That’d be massively irresponsible on the owner’s part. I could claim to be Bruce Wayne, but that doesn’t make it true.

And for god’s sake, learn to write. Periods are always followed by a space.

It doesn’t need a sequel. It’s fine the way it is.

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Chris

I feel the same way man

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niykin

I agree this was the first comment on creepy pasta that I ever posted and it was a wonderful read , thanks

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Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)

Mike

after reading this, i for once in my life rejoice the fact that I’m ugly :D

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Rating: +19 (from 21 votes)

ChrisPetrone

Best Pasta EVAR. kthnxbai

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Rating: +21 (from 41 votes)

LolUFold

Excellent read, truly horrifying.

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Rating: +29 (from 35 votes)

Anonymous

Well, she could always eat him and survive some days 0_o.

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Rating: +97 (from 103 votes)

Garen J O

very true. i had a girlfriend who was… a little odd shall we say. multiple personalities not many nice ones. its hard to keep people like that happy, let alone break up with them without them kinda wanting you dead…

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Rating: +1 (from 47 votes)

BlueFox

Alright; I’ll ask. What does that have to do with anything?

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anon.

If she ate him, then he would definitely be with her forever

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Rating: +33 (from 35 votes)

Anonymous

til she took a shit at least

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Rating: +75 (from 75 votes)

Some Fat Guy

LOL.

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Rating: +6 (from 10 votes)

Anonymous

Oh, god that was the best comment ever XDDDD

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Rating: +1 (from 7 votes)

Thy Awesomeness

Terrifying. I feel like locking all my doors.

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Rating: +37 (from 49 votes)

Jacob

And windows. And duct taping your AC vents…

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Rating: +67 (from 73 votes)

jeffthfemkiller

Agreed. Im a bit scared now. 0__o

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Rating: +11 (from 15 votes)

Jane

You should be.

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Rating: +4 (from 8 votes)

Jane

You should be. o___-

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Rating: -1 (from 11 votes)

Anonymous

No one would ever stalk me… Forever alone.

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Rating: +120 (from 128 votes)

Jeffery

Stalking implies that you are interesting to look at.

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Rating: -4 (from 14 votes)

Zombiesoldier2

No one would ever stalk me… Forever alone.

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Rating: -49 (from 65 votes)

Richard

Even more alone than Anonymous two posts above you it seems. XD

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Rating: +10 (from 12 votes)

Anonymous

She got in the car AND started it, and THEN he ran over and smashed the window AND dragged her out?

This is the least believable part for me. Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to smash a car window? I do; I’ve done it. I don’t buy that he ran over and nailed it the first time, all while completely surprising her. But let’s just pretend he smashed that window the very first time…The moment he reaches in, her dumb ass should be flooring it. After all, the car was already started before he even made a move. No way this kid pulled her out so easily that she didn’t have ample time. Also, he’s probably scrawny since he’s a nerd and can fit inside a fucking vent, making it less plausible. However, even at normal size, this part is the most farfetched. (Shoulda had a seat belt on too, woulda prolonged it even more.)

I also think the police would’ve already been involved way back when the store was robbed of $200, and the kid publicly announced that he stole the video, along with giving the reason. The manager’s not just going to be like, “Oop, well, the video’s gone I guess. Now instead of catching the thief AND apprehending my psychotic employee, I’m going to let everybody get off free. I’ll fire him and leave it at that. I won’t bother retrieving the video either.”

Is she not an asshole for having read the first letter, then leaving, then COMING BACK into the apartment with the rest of the letters? Stay out, stupid bitch. Yeah, she brought the police in later, but then she still stayed the night. No, you get your ass out and keep it out from the first time you exit the room, not the third.

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Rating: +168 (from 220 votes)

Person

Youre a douche, do you think anyone gives a fuck about u trying to break a window? It is adorable though, quit picking apart tiny factors that anyone that’s not logically retarded would correct themselves without making a 3 paragraph comment

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Rating: -73 (from 145 votes)

Deepwood Splinterdick

actually he raises some good points. I still like the story, but everything he said was true and makes the story a little less sleep depriving.

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Rating: +102 (from 110 votes)

Random Man

He’s a professional stalker, he can do anything. :D

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Rating: +66 (from 72 votes)

Mari

I agree with Random Man

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Rating: +11 (from 25 votes)

Anonymous

I agree, the story is well written but the girl is just so stupid. I wouldn’t care about my stuff if I had been stalked like that.

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Rating: +13 (from 17 votes)

korilian

exactly. I liked the story, but realistically she would have hoofed it out of there as soon as she found that letter on her desk and gone straight to the police.

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Rating: +8 (from 12 votes)

xXmonkeysoXx

really? yo cant just enjoy the damn story?

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Rating: -19 (from 55 votes)

moshmosh

is not about enjoying it, I liked the story a lot, but honestly even if it was well written it never made me afraid or scared. Honestly it has more loop holes than those he mentioned.

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Rating: +37 (from 47 votes)

maxtar101

obviously your story is a lot better with no loopholes and is in the top rated. Enjoy it for what it is

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Rating: -4 (from 30 votes)

Petite Fleur

Criticizing an unreliable narrator is pretty silly. Especially since the story is told from the perspective of letters written by the narrating character. You’re essentially criticizing a fictional character as opposed to the author themselves.

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Rating: +26 (from 44 votes)

Nick

It doesn’t say how he went about it
It just says he smashed it.
He could have used a rock or something.
A small detail that the writer did not feel necessary to put in the story.
and if you were trying to get your ass the hell away from a stalker, would you really think about putting your seat belt on? Seriously, be realistic, primal instinct kicks in, the “flight” response, she wanted to get the hell out of there, he probably smashed the drivers side window and grabbed her hair or neck, so now she’s thinking of stopping the pain, not flooring it. Jesus this guy isn’t a fucking kid, or a nerd,just because he can fit in a air vent, or just because he works at a store, really you’re a dumbass. Since the video is already gone, there’s no real point in getting it back, if you steal something like that you’re bound to get fired.

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Rating: +29 (from 39 votes)

Idk some dude

But if you took the time to sit in your apartment and read a bunch of letters and then pack all your things, but then all the sudden you can’t take 3 seconds to put on a seatbelt? Idk, I mean I’m just some dude but whatever

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Rating: +7 (from 17 votes)

MeechieDuh

Well personally I thought the story was good, but I thought your comment was funni. I do agree with you, and I think all you other guys shouldn’t take a comment so personal, its just an opinion.

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Rating: +7 (from 11 votes)

http://loughboroughtattoo.com/content/view/16/31/ OjamaYellow

My main issue is how she got the letters before he knew her surname or address? Where was he leaving them? I am so confused!
Other than that and few other “minor” plot holes, I really enjoyed it. Better than a lot of the other creepypasta I’ve read so people should ease up on you a little.

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Rating: +14 (from 22 votes)

Anonymous

Actually, if you read the story, she doesn’t get all the letters he sent her until he leaves one on her desk, so it makes sense that she wouldn’t have anything to fear, because she’s only met him twice at the grocery store, so, in all actuality, she was completely justified

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Rating: +5 (from 9 votes)

Spencer

I didn’t even think about that, but my biggest problem would be the ending. First of all, I thought he was broke but he still rented the storage unit. I guess he could’ve had enough, since he said he rented it for one day which is significantly less than a month’s rent at most (even lousy) apartments.

But then he says “you’re stuck in here forever with me”… he had only rented the thing for one day. Yeah, she doesn’t know that, but if she kills herself before staying in there for 24 hours she basically deserves it.

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Rating: +8 (from 14 votes)

serenawitchwriter

also how did he write the last letter while bleeding to death? I can get him observing her through the letters up until then. but by this point he was directly interacting with her. wouldn’t it have been easier at this point to talk to her rather then composing a long letter describing what she has just been through. albeit necessary to the story-telling itself, it yet again punctures believability.

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Rating: +5 (from 9 votes)

Strange Angel

Not to mention the fact that storage units aren’t typically isolated out in the middle of nowhere. All she’d have to do is bang on the door and yell for help, and it wouldn’t take long for the owner to let her out.

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Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)

O_o

I enjoyed this story so much. Its so memorizing, a whole of a lot more interesting than the other stories. But there is one question that lays in my curiosity; where was his last hiding spot????

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Rating: +11 (from 13 votes)

Jessica

I know right!! I’m wondering the same thing!!! I thought maybe the wall or ceiling…. But either way it was truly a terrifyingly realistic story, that could,happen!

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Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

FUNGUY

Those are some good points, but keep in mind, he IS a deranged stalker, probably deceptively strong, does not care about pain, and the girl is just a normal (albeit very sexy) girl.

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Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)

Anonymous

What are the odds she doesn’t check her mail? That’s awfully convenient for the story.

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Rating: +53 (from 59 votes)

Ninjanna

People skip out on checking their mail all the time. I know I do it…

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Rating: +39 (from 41 votes)

moshmosh

even for your bills?

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Rating: +9 (from 17 votes)

Petite Fleur

Billed can easily be paid automatically and online. In the year 2012(time of your comment) and more so in 2013(time of my comment) it’s rather silly to imagine a bill that can’t be paid online.

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Rating: +18 (from 22 votes)

Andy

Only 3 months separate your comments. Is it necessary to to be all like “in 2012 the year of your comment”.

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Rating: +1 (from 25 votes)

Mirach

That’s because he isn’t actually writing any letters until near the end. Notice how he doesn’t even know what her address is until the third “letter,” so how could he have been sending anything. These are the just the thoughts of a madman.

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Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)

Kyle Bailie

I seriously freaked out while reading this… I don’t feel safe, now. lol

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Rating: +33 (from 37 votes)

Anonymous

Dear Kyle,

I watched you shower today. It was beautiful. I wish I could some time shower with you. Hopefully you’d enjoy it too.

Love, Jay.

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Rating: +87 (from 93 votes)

Belletrina

Oh my god, this seriously just made my night xD

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Rating: +21 (from 25 votes)

Jkqxxllyuo

Would have been even more funny if in the “your name” spot he had put “jay”

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Rating: 0 (from 10 votes)

Mari

HA! lol you peoples are hilarious.

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Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)

Antary

He did :|

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Rating: -2 (from 10 votes)

Len Lye

Am I the only one confused how he’s writing a letter while bleeding to death, in the same room with the person he’s writing the letter FOR? Am I missing something?

Otherwise decent. Reminds me of a time when when I was young and involved in such activities, and she loved me forever and ever and ever… in my basement. Forever.

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Rating: +84 (from 90 votes)

Hayley

To me it sounds like its a psychotic guy who is mentally writing these letters. Like in the movies, you never see a stalker writing stuff, well I haven’t at least.

But then again, when did he have the time to write them if they are all in her mailbox, and on her table?

Anyways, probably the best one I’ve read so far!

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Rating: +16 (from 20 votes)

Anon

I loved it, one of the few pastas that have legitimately scared me. ghosts and aliens, okay, but real life pyschos? eeks.

my biggest thing was.. how was he mailing her them? from the first one, how did he know her address?? it makes it better that you suggested he’s doing so mentally, but that stuck out to me before thinking it could have been mental notes.

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Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)

Anonymous

Well, if he is a psyco stalker, stalkers can find anything up to the password to your computer. It’s a detail the writer didn’t add. Jay most likely followed her around before mailing the letters. I mean he did stalk her.

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Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

http://loughboroughtattoo.com/content/view/16/31/ OjamaYellow

How would she know he was hiding there,
have the other letters, open her closet timidly and scared, call the police because she knew someone was there or most of the stuff she did actually. Only via the letter would she know this.

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Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)

Lord Corvell

I was scanning the comments to see if anyone else saw that, because I was so confused too! How did nobody seem to catch that? Overall it was great, the way it picked up more and more… It’s a hard one to believe, but this stuff happens, too.

Anyway yeah, I was so curious how he found a better spot to hide in the apartment, how he could watch her movements and emotions and stuff when he is under a bed (covered so you can’t see under, remember?) or how he wrote letters while in the vent or DYING. Mental letters made sense, except how did Abby read them?

Still great.

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Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)

Anonymous

It says in the story that he slipped out from underneath the bed, obviously he couldn’t see from underneath and he could also write the story even while bleeding if he had the strength. One of my questions though is how could he see what he was writing to her with out any source of light? This is one of the most amazingly written stories that I’ve read however.

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Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)

Belletrina

Yeah, but before he slipped out from under the bed, when Abby brought over her neighbor who heard the noises during the day, Jay still knew everything that was going on, and described it as if he was seeing it.

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Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

Tyler

Actually from a stab wound, even though he was stabbed multiple times, he could keep writing if he didn’t get stabbed through the heart and if he had some paper. Heck he could have used his own blood for the last one. And he’s writing the letter to her because he is so scared to just talk to her. Even in death.

Also with you girl did you use rope or duct tape. I tried duct tape but it was sup par to the rope. She escaped once and that was just too close for my liking.

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Rating: +13 (from 15 votes)

Liemy

I absolutely loved this. It was very well written and tragic. I put myself in her place at the last letter and I think I would’ve survived. Hopefully, I won’t have to find out!

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Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)

Tasm

Things I love about CreepyPasta? You don’t have to make an account to comment, long reads, clever ideas, and good writing.
I have to admit, there are a few spelling mishaps, but just about 4-5.

The plot is fairly good– a common fear for women– but the letter writing was a nice touch. People don’t write letters anymore. Stampbooks are up to $9 because of it… Anyway, the introduction was great, ran down the middle well, and that plan at the end was really quite clever. Though I’d like to know where Jay had hidden himself when Abby finally read the letters.

The one thing that bothered me however… the timeline in his writing seemed a bit off. How did Jay get Abby’s address before he started looking for her? The only thing I could think of was that he waited to send his first letter until he saw where she lived.

It was a nicely written short-story throughout, and I appreciated the read.
Thank you for writing!

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Rating: +35 (from 41 votes)

http://msn.com Corynn

whoever anonymous is sucks. he is freaking crazy and probably running on adrenaline so that would explain it. i loved this pasta. two thumbs up.

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Rating: -15 (from 23 votes)

Corryn

People are entitled to their opinions. I personally think that they raised very good points, many of which I questioned myself.

The only point I agree with you on is that this is a deliciously fantastic pasta.

I’m embarrassed to have almost the same name as you, bro.

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Rating: +8 (from 12 votes)

the maybe clown

maybe he’s your stalker

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Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)

Anonymous

We are Anonymous.
We are Legion.
We do not forgive.
We do no forget.
Expect us.

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Rating: +10 (from 14 votes)

Ridley

Well that makes me feel safe.

Just as safe as being in the same room with anybody named Jay…

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Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

SpookyMaroon

It was a nice and creepy story, but how could he have sent her letters before he even knew where she lived? 0_o

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Rating: +23 (from 23 votes)

JayJayJetPlane

Bro, he’s a stalker. Anything’s possible.

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Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)

Anonymous

*Looks at name*. Jay x 2 = stalking an ex-air force officer. SCIENCE.

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Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)

Jkqxxllyuo

how could he send letters thru the vent? XD

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Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

Shawno

But she can use his phone and call the owner to open up the lot in which she did.

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Rating: -19 (from 23 votes)

tulpa

he destroyed his phone….

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Rating: +14 (from 14 votes)

mario_l

but…WHO DESTROYED PHONE

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Rating: 0 (from 8 votes)

Anonymous

No, Corynn, that wouldn’t just cover it. All Abby has to do is floor it and she had plenty of time, yet still didn’t. That part is absolutely left uncovered.

Also, writing in blood always kills me. It’s unrealistic. Did he conveniently have paper or did he write on the wall? Did he use his finger? That would be pretty thick, and therefore larger, and would require even more blood. And that was a LONG letter to write in blood.

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Rating: +9 (from 15 votes)

Jacob

Correct me if I’m wrong, doesn’t it just point out that he’s writing as he’s laying in his blood, Not that he’s literally writing IN his blood?

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Rating: +22 (from 24 votes)

Lord Corvell

You’re right Jacob. But where did he get paper, and how did he write all that with her sitting there watching him? Not to mention he’s bleeding out.

Just seemed the author wrote himself into a wall, with the narrator himself dying. No way to tell the last events without the narrator to write them out, so…

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Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)

the maybe clown

it’s funny if you think about it.. him talking as he’s writing. she’s like ‘wtf?’

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Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)

http://loughboroughtattoo.com/content/view/16/31/ OjamaYellow

Maybe he always writes letters so always has paper and writing equipment?

@ anonymous he was completely mad, he dosnt care if his arm breaks he is getting into that window

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Rating: +7 (from 11 votes)

Anonymous

Where exactly did it say he was writing with his blood?

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Rating: +4 (from 16 votes)

MarianneWotsit

Anonymous, you raise some good points. No need to be a d*ck about it though.
This was a truly horrifying read. Well done!

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Rating: +6 (from 16 votes)

Anonymous

Reread, illiterate people:

“But let’s just pretend he smashed that window the very first time…The moment he reaches in, her dumb ass should be flooring it. After all, the car was already started before he even made a move.”

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Rating: +6 (from 14 votes)

Dani

You do understand that freezing up is a natural reaction to fear?

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Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Kman

@Anonymous

Felt like I should explain myself/my thought process after reading through your comment (Yeah, I’m the author). I actually did notice quite a few of the things you pointed out either while I was writing it or after I had submitted it, but I felt the changes I’d have to make to have it be 100% realistic would ruin a lot of the best parts in it and kill the flow. Yes, for the most part I tried to keep it as realistic as I could, but I felt that it wouldn’t have had as much of an impact on the reader had certain scenes been changed to be more realistic. Had the Police gotten involved before, or if Abby ran away as soon as she saw the first letter, it would have killed the last scene, which is by far the most climactic part of it. In the end, I decided that I’d lose more from cutting that scene than I would from making it totally realistic, so I decided to keep it the way it was. As for the car part… Yeah I’ll admit that could have been written a loooot better. Anyways, thanks for the criticism, I’ll definitely keep it in mind if I ever write more Creepypastas (which I definitely intend to).

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Rating: +39 (from 43 votes)

http://loughboroughtattoo.com/content/view/16/31/ OjamaYellow

So to be clear… he ACTUALLY wrote letters?
NOT mentally?
We was right guys!

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Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)

Leatherneck6866

DUDE! It’s night time while I am reading this. Hello, Nightmares, Goodbye, Sleep. I really enjoyed it though, reminded me of my friends. Note to self: Get new friends. Anyways, good job. Cry’s livestream chats are a good advertisement center.

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Rating: +19 (from 19 votes)

KillMeMaybe

You mean your friends who become obsessed with a woman after exchanging small talk, take CCTV camera footage from wherever it is they first saw this woman, find as many personal details about her on the internet as they possibly can, threaten an innocent passer-by with a knife until he or she tells them which apartment suite this woman lives in, break into her home, hide in her home’s ventilation system, dump any make up or other appearance-altering products, spend the day collecting individual strands of her hair, watch and masterbate over her while she sleeps, hide under her bed, make a scrapbook consisting of photos of themselves and the woman they’ve developed an interest in, become so enraged when this woman attempts to escape that they are able to put their fist through a car window, drag her out of her car and smash a heavy object over her head until she falls into unconciousness, transport her to an empty storage unit, lock both themselves and this woman inside, destroy their cellphones and any other devices that could potentially be used to communicate with someone outside of the storage unit, and write a long-winded letter on the floor using the blood that spills from a stab wound in their chest, even though the person the message is intended for is sitting pretty much right there beside them?

Just making sure we’re both on the same page here.

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Rating: +15 (from 17 votes)

jay

Goddamnit I forgot to bring my iron

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Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)

Jay

Did I do thaaat?

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Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)

Johnny C.

It’s all good. I get it. I would’ve almost gotten away with the same thing if Devi hadn’t beat the shit out of me………

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Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

Gaby

This was truly amazing. I honestly have not read a pasta this good in a while.

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Rating: +5 (from 7 votes)

Tater44

So I’m never sleeping again. kthxbai.

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Rating: +2 (from 10 votes)

http://www.kittensclaws.tumblr.com Kittensaurus

This scared me. Deep down. Having dated a psychopathic, obsessive, controlling, abusive person in the past made this so much more real and I’m having an anxiety attack.
Also: Why didn’t he visit her the first time, with the letter he “mailed” to her? That kind of ruined the plausibility, and it made me feel better.
Despite bits of it that aren’t possible, this was incredible. I don’t get disturbed or frightened easily, but this terrified me.

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