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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

"Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will be powerless to vex your mind."- Leonardo Da Vinci

A psychologist was doing a study on people's morning habits. One lady he interviewed happened to be the wife of a drunk. The psychologist began, "The first question is, do you ever wake up grouchy?" The drunk's wife replied: "Sometimes, but usually I just let him sleep."

Addicts Anonymous"As we know, the disease of addiction has many faces. It is our mission to make every resource available to the addict seeking recovery":
Addicts Anonymous

SoberCruises.com"The Sober Cruises committee is a organizer of RoundUps for people in recovery programs, their friends and family members that would like a sober cruise and sober vacation combined with a conference or roundup":
SoberCruises.com

A drunk wanted to stop drinking so he thought joining a monastery would help. He chose one where all the brothers took a vow of silence: they could only speak once a year, and even then only to the head monk. After a year went by the now dry drunk was called into the monastery office. The head monk asked, "It's been a year, is there anything you would like to say?" The monk said, "My bed's too hard!" Another year went by and this time, when he had his annual chance to speak the monk said "The food's always cold!" The head monk glared back at him and replied: "You know, ever since you got here, all you do is complain."

"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'Thank You,' that would suffice."
- Meister Eckhart

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
- Melody Beattie

"When insects take over the world we hope they will remember, with gratitude, how we took them along on all our picnics."
- Bill Vaughan

A New Yorker was fed up with his Wall Street life, so he liquidated his portfolio, sold all of his belongings and moved to Alaska. After five months alone in an isolated cabin, he heard a knock at the door. He wasn't surprised to see a man who looked much like he did by that time: a bit weather-beaten and scruffy with a bushy beard. "I live on the other side of this hill," the stranger told him, "I'm having a Thanksgiving Day party at my place tonight and you're invited." The man was delighted, "Sounds great! I've enjoyed being alone here, but I feel ready for some socializing again." The stranger turned to go, then stopped and added, "By the way, I should mention that these things can get out of hand. There could be some heavy drinking and fighting." The man smiled to himself and replied, "Don't you worry about me. I lived in New York and have been to some pretty wild parties! By the way, I'm not familiar with the social scene around here. Does it matter what I wear?" The stranger gave him a weird look and said: "Of course not! There's no one else around, so it will only be the two of us."

How Grateful Are You?Do you light a candle or curse the darkness? Do you bless each and everything that comes your way, trusting that its meaning will become clear -- even if you can't possibly see how in the moment? Take our quiz and compare your score with scores from a random sample of 1,200 other respondents":
Beliefnet.com

A drunk professor is staggering home late after a long night of drinking. A cop pulls over and asks, "Hey buddy, it looks like you've had a few too many. Mind if I ask where you're going at this time of night?" The drunk explains, "I'm a professor and I'm going to a lecture." The cop isn't amused but plays along, "Really? You always give lectures at three o'clock in the morning?" The professor replies: "I don't, but my wife does."

Two drunks got lost trying to do some mountain climbing in the Rockies. To make it worse, a small avalanche came roaring their way and left them buried in snow up to their necks. Unable to move, they kept busy by telling drinking stories. Both agreed they had been in worse pedicaments many times before. Suddenly, they saw something that looked like a scene out of a movie. Running toward them was a large hairy dog with a small keg-shaped cannister of liquor tied under its chin. The first drunk exclaimed, "Look at that, it's man's best friend coming to save us!" The second drunk agreed: "It sure is, and look at the size of the dog bringing it."

Friday, November 19, 2004

"Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
- Jesus

"I told my girlfriend how much I loved her, and she said that I must have been out drinking. I asked her why she would say that and she said, 'Because I'm your father.'"
- Dave George

Lamplighters Group of Alcoholics Anonymous"First and foremost, we're an AA meeting in every sense of the word, even though the little 'meeting room' we rent is electronic rather than brick and mortar":
Lamplighters Group

A drunk is staggering home from the bar when a policeman pulls over to ask him if he's alright. The cop quickly sees that the man is just plain drunk so he asks, "Sir, your eyes are pretty red, perhaps you've had too much to drink?" The drunk slurs back: "Well officer, your eyes look sort of glazed, so maybe you've had too many donuts."

Last House On The Block"When at the end of the road, there is a house where addicts heal one another with a hug and a prayer, ear and a shoulder, and steps to awaken the spirit":
Last House On The Block

The above Flash animation is good for a laugh...
but if you or someone you know is still suffering, there's nothing funny about that. You don't have to face it alone -- there is always hope and free help available.
See here:

Monday, November 15, 2004

"It is not by accident that the happiest people are those who make a conscious effort to live useful lives. Their happiness, of course, is not a shallow exhilaration where life is one continuous intoxicating party. Rather, their happiness is a deep sense of inner peace."
- Ernest Fitzgerald

"What is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself! If that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi."
- PJ O'Rourke

A drunk is the first to arrive at his buddy's drinking party because he heard there would be lots of free booze. He looks around and notices the place is messy. For example, on the kitchen table are a few bottles of whisky and wine, along with a couple of full ashtrays, some old newspapers, dirty dishes and half a loaf of bread. This seems to really upset the drunk. He raises his voice and says: "I thought this was a drinking party. So why is all this bread here?"

AA Radio"Each week AA Radio, or the Radio Group of Alcoholics Anonymous, features a separate meeting that plays for one and a half, to two hours and then repeats 24/7." Scroll down on their main page for more info:
AA Radio

Healing MomentThis is the AA Radio broadcaster's website:
Healing Moment

Friday, November 12, 2004

"It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where you're going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice."
- Jim Morrison

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."
- Will Rogers

Two drunks sit down at the bar and get down to their business. The bartender brings them two of their usual and they knock them back. Without a word being spoken, the bartender brings them two more, then two more. But before they have the next drinks, one drunk is feeling good and so he says, "Cheers, my good man!" This annoys the other drunk who snaps back: "Did you come here to drink or talk?"

A drunk was leaving a party and kept falling over as he tried putting on his winter boots. After witnessing the fiasco, the host's wife came over and started helping him. After much struggling she managed to get the boots on the drunk, when he said, "You know, these aren't my boots." Shaking her head, she reversed the process to get the boots off of him, when he protested, "Why did you take them off? They're my brother's boots and he said I could wear them." Using all the patience she could muster, she put the boots back on the drunk, when he complained: "Hey, what are you doing? I need my mittens and they're stuffed in the toes of the boots."

A drunk was trying to drive home from the bar during a big snow storm. Unable to see the road well, he got lost. He remembered his wife telling him that if he ever got lost in a snow storm, to wait for a plow to come along and then follow it out. Sure enough, a snow plow came along and he followed it for a good half hour before it came to a sudden stop. A man hopped out of the plow, tapped on the drunk's window and waited for him to roll it down before he said: "Hey buddy, I don't know why you're following me. But I'm done with this Wal-Mart, so if you want to, you can watch me do the Safeway parking lot next."

Alcohol Information Scotland"The site is meant for anyone with an interest in alcohol issues such as care professionals, researchers, policy makers as well as the wider community":
Alcohol Information Scotland

Friday, November 05, 2004

"I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together. And the floodgates of goodness have opened upon me -- spiritually and financially."
- Denzel Washington

"They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
- Andy Warhol

"It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future."
- Yogi Berra

When a bartender noticed that one regular customer was drinking more than usual, he asked, "Hey, you're really slamming them back. Are you alright?" The drunk told him how the previous week had been really tough. First, his girlfriend broke up with him and left him alone; he also lost his job and was now unemployed; then he received an eviction notice from his landlord. The bartender offered, "Well, look at the bright side. That was last week and now its all in the past." The drunk replied: "That's what I'm depressed about. All that drama, and so far this week, nothing."

A drunk was being rude, crude and obnoxious so the bartender cut him off. The drunk was outraged, "I don't care if you cut me off! I work at the brewery and we have plenty of beer there!" As he was showing the drunk the door, the bartender replied: "And I don't mind tossing you out. I work at the bar and we have plenty of drunks there."

One drunk sees another drunk with a bottle, cleverly disguised, in a brown paper bag. He asks him, "Hey buddy, how about sharing the hooch?" The second drunk replies, "It's not hooch, it's wine." So the first drunk corrects himself, "Then how about sharing that wine?" The second says, "It isn't just wine, it's Cherry Jack." The first drunk is getting irritated, "Look, are you going to share your Cherry Jack with me or not?" There's a long hard pause and then he gets his answer: "Well, maybe I will if you ever make up your mind."

A man was the designated driver for a group of his drunk friends. He pulled over to drop the last one off at home when he asked him, "Listen, I think my signal lights might not be working, so can you just watch them for a minute while I do a test?" The drunk agreed then got out and staggered to the back of the car. As the driver was flashing the signal lights left and then right, he could hear the drunk shouting: "They work, they don't work, they work, they don't work..."

Alcoholism and AA Recovery"Alcoholism and AA Recovery is dedicated to recovery from alcoholism & designed to move visitors from their disease through the 12 steps into recovery":
Alcoholism and AA Recovery