These Classic ‘Friends’ Quotes Will Have You Saying “How You Doin'”

Even the most fair weather Friends fan knows some of their more quotable moments. How many times have you bellowed, “We were on a break” at a bud? With ten seasons of comedic excellence, the Central Perk gang offers up quotes that can still make us bust a gut. The instant classic went on to inspire countless other group-buddy comedies, including Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Parks And Rec.

We went ahead and curated the very best Friends quotes for you broken down by each beloved character.

Monica Geller

via GIPHY

1. Rachel: “I’m not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he’s divorced.”
Monica: “No, you go after them five minutes before they get married.”

2. “Marriage. It’s not for everybody.”

3. “Damn all the jellyfish!”

4. “And I have to live with a boy!”

5. “I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. And what’s opposite of man? Jam.”

6. On Ross’ white suit: “I like it even better on you than on Colonel Sanders.”

7. “I got one. ‘Socks. Because your family’s feet deserve the best.'”

8. Monica: “I know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.”
Rachel: “What’s the other one?”
Monica: “I don’t know. I’ve never had to use the other one.”

9. Chandler: “Today is the 6th.”
Monica: “No.” [Shows Chandler a calendar]
Chandler: “Yes. It’s also 2003.”
Monica: “That means I may be done ovulating! I may also have served some very questionable meat at the restaurant!”

12. Joey: “It’s never taken me a week to get over a relationship.”
Monica: “It’s never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.”

Ross Geller

via GIPHY

13. (Reacting to Rachel’s cat): “Why is it inside out?!”

14. Ross: “Well, I sang… I rapped… ‘Baby Got Back’.”
Rachel: “What? You sang to our baby daughter a song about a man who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?”
Ross: “Well… if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy body image, because even women with big bottoms, or juicy doubles, can… [Sees how angry Rachel is] Please don’t take her away from me.”

15. “We were on a break!”

16. “Can’t hold her own head up. But, yeah. Jumped.”

17. Phoebe: “You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.”
Chandler: “Maureen Rosilla.”
Ross: “‘Cause she doesn’t hate Yanni” is not a real reason.”

18. Phoebe: Ross, why are you all hot and sweaty?
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! …Which isn’t a sexual thing.

19. Rachel: “No, you’re not an idiot, Ross. You’re a guy very much in love.”
Ross: “Same difference.”

20. “You’re over me? When were you… under me?”

21. Joey: “How did the date go?”
Ross: “Great! I’m across the street, having sex right now.”

22. Rachel: “Seriously, Ross, breathe louder, that’s great.”
Ross: “Y’know, We should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that’s half-human, half-pure evil!”

23. “Brussels sprouts? That’s worse than no food.”

24. Ross: “I’m just going to wander around in the rain.”
Rachel: “Uhh… it’s not raining.”
Ross: “I can’t catch a break!”

25. Joey: “Ross, did you really read all these baby books?”
Ross: “Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman’s uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like [snaps fingers] that.”

52. Chandler: “Can you see my nipples through this shirt?”
Rachel: “No. But don’t worry, I’m sure they’re still there.”

53. “Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why I’m not drinking on this date tonight: I’m a recovering alcoholic, I’m a Mormon, or I got so hammered last night I’m still a little drunk?”

54. Rachel: “Well, I found the hardware store by myself!”
Joey: “The hardware store’s just down the street.”
Rachel: “There’s a hardware store down the street?”

55. Phoebe: “There’s five hundred extra dollars in my account.”
Chandler: “Oh! Satan’s minions at work again.”
Phoebe: “Yes, coz I have to go down there and deal with them.”
Joey: “What are you talking about? Keep it!”
Phoebe: “It’s not mine! I didn’t earn it. If I kept it, it would be like stealing!”
Rachel: “Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!”

58. “Isn’t this exciting! I earned this! I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally… not worth it. Who’s FICA? Why’s he getting all my money?”

59. Rachel (after Phoebe backs out of getting a tattoo): Phoebe, how could you do this to me? This was all your idea!
Phoebe: I know, I know, and I was going to get it, but then he came in with this needle, and d–did you know they do this with needles?
Rachel: Really! You don’t say! Because mine was licked on by kittens!

60. “Ross! We broke up two years ago. You’ve been married since then. I think it’s okay that we see other people.”

61. Mrs. Green [looks out the window]: “There’s an unattractive nude man playing the cello.”
Rachel: “Yeah, well just be glad he’s not playing a smaller instrument.”

62. Ross: “Look, I just came here to tell you guys something.”
Rachel: “Oh. Was it how you invented the cotton gin?”

85. Joey: “My agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!”
Phoebe: “Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.”
Chandler: “Hey, yeah, we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.”

86. “Oh, man. In my next life I’m coming back as a toilet brush!”

87. Monica: “Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It’s just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.”
Chandler: “Sounds like a date to me.”

88. [Preparing to break up with Janice for the third time] “There’s no easy way to say this. At least, there’s no new way for me to say this.”

89. Chandler: “From now on it’s gonna be the four of you guys and me and the Mrs. Little Woman. Wife. The old ball and chain.”
Monica: “Old?”
Chandler: “Young hot ball and chain.”

90. Phoebe: “You are not gonna believe this: I have just been discovered!
Chandler: “Now, wait a minute. I claimed you in the name of France four years ago!”

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