How TRAV made his great escape....

TravelinginTexas is arrested and brought cuffed and stuffed to the Blogland county lockup, processed, de-loused, given a deep body cavity search, a shower-bath with a fire hose and thrown into a cell with a large toothless guy named Buck… Buck Naked.

Upon hearing the news that his long lost younger twin brother by way of his long lost twin sister sister_act_4_you *long story, just go along for now lol! …suffice to say it’s a hell of a family tree!) …. Sorceror07 starts planning the great escape…

Start of action:

Sorceror07 “borrows” a bright yellow mazeratti countache and visits the Texas National Guard Armory for “appropriations”, he takes a shopping cart and strolls in the front door, says “hello” to the post guards, flashes them a fake ID with a plastic cracker jack shield badge identifying him as one Studebaker Hawke, and continues along his way to the weapons room… He helps himself to a Ruger Mini-14, an Automate semi-automatic canister fed 12 gauge shotgun made in South Africa, a case of fragmentation hand grenades, 6 smoke grenades, 2 claymores, 10 one pound bricks of C-4 explosive with remote operated electronic detonators and mercury switches, a 44 Automag (Dirty Harry swears by them), 3 laws rockets, 5 stinger missiles, night vision goggles, plenty of extra ammo, a Swiss army knife, a roll of kaiser boiler foil and a bottle of maple syrup.

Heading back to his car he asks the guards to help him load it, which they cheerfully do. Thanking them, he starts the mazerati and tears on down the road towards his date with destiny….

He parks the “borrowed” mazerati in the jail’s parking lot… taking the warden’s slot, stuffs the automag in the back of his jeans, takes 4 pounds of C-4 and walks casually to the cell block wall… “hmmmm,” he wonders…. “where is TravelinginTexas ‘s cell?” walking down wall he soon gets his answer… he hears the sound of anguished squealing and the voice of Buck saying…”who’s TAGGING who now? Blog boy!”. Looking through the bars in the window, Sorceror07 sees a very unhappy TravelinginTexas in a compromising position. “Ned? Ned Beatty? Is that you?” Sorce laughs… “Take cover, Trav… INCOMING!”. And he sets the explosives, all 4 pounds of it, walks back to the car, arms the remote, flips the safety switch, and hits the red button and BOOM! My what a lovely mushroom cloud!

“hey, I think you blew up half the Blogland Jail!” says Trav, “I guess that was a bit much on the C-4, eh bro?” replies Sorce. “Lets get the hell out of here, Trav… before Deputy Dawg finds out you’ve escaped.”

Getting into the car, Trav musses “ hey! What did you do with the Blog-mobile?” Sorce answers, “I traded it for a microphone.” “oh, ..really!” Trav retorts as he throws the cigarette lighter out the window.

And to the sounds of sirens wailing, dogs barking and the din of mass confusion, Sorce revs up the mazerati and peals out of the jail’s parking lot, burning rubber, laying down donuts on the pavement and chirping the tires through all 6 gears. White knuckled on the dashboard, Trav stutters, “Dude! Ok, it will do… fix the cigarette lighter though.”

They pull into the parking lot of Blogville Town Hall. “what the hell are we doing here, Sorce?!!” “we have a bit of work to do before we make good our escape” Sorce snickers. “Trav, see that horse over there?” pointing at a nearby stable owned by the County Judge fantasylover_05…Trav nods nervously, “Bring it up to the Mayor’s office, and shoot it with this.” Handing the automag to Trav. “oooooh! This is going to be GREAT!” Trav cackles impishly, “What are you going to do Sorce?”

“I’m going to hit the records office and torch all the mortgage notes.”

“oh!! NICE!”

And they run off to do their dirty work… meeting back at the car in a few minutes… the fire alarms blaring and smoke billowing from the once magnificent structure…

”You know, Sorce… tillerbabe isn’t going to like this.” “yes she will” Sorce replies, “Trust me” he finishes off with a crooked devilish grin. “We need new transportation now…” Sorce says as he lays down rubber out of the parking lot."why's that?""because you tracked horseshit inside the car."

Within a few minutes driving he spots his next vehicle… a beautiful Lotus Esprit in British racing green parked in front of a very nice Arkansas style house.

while Sorce deactivates the car’s alarm, dismantles the steering wheel lock and hotwires the lotus while Trav does the hard work. The engine roars to life and Sorce jumps the curb onto bardicman’s front lawn doing 360’s and tearing up the grass and landscaping!

“Sorce! What the fuck are you doing!?” laughing Sorce replies, “marking territory, look…”

Trav sees what Sorce has done to Bard’s lawn… it reads Trav runs Bloggytown! Bust the deal and face the wheel! Pointing to some debris Trav says, “dude, you lost the back bumper when you sideswiped that tree, the one you knocked down.” Sorce gives Trav a look of serious shock and says, “Ooooopsie!” in a voice of mocking innocence. “ I guess they don’t make them like they used to!” The sounds of uproarious laughter is drowned out by the engine noise as Sorce over revs the engine and kicks it up to 110 mph down residential streets of Blogville.

“You know… our mother mzhunyhole is PISSED at you, Trav.” He looks quizzicaly at Sorce making that statement “What did -I- do?” he replied innocently… “DUDE!” Sorce exclaims, “you tagged, and/or caused to be tagged everyass in Blogworld! …and your post string also caused a server meltdown at the A.FF Mainframe. Bro! They are calling for the death penalty! … you know I’m very proud of my long lost little twin brother.” Sorce beams.

“we were quintuplets… sis1, sis2, you and me… I was given up because I’m the whiskey drinking, cigar chewing, black sheep of the family and was raised by the heavy metal band, Motley Crue.”

“Ohh… ok that explains much.”

“yep… it does, now… we have some trouble to deal with.”

Trav looks up and sees the roadblock up ahead… “HOLY SHIT!!!”

“fasten your seatbelt, bro!” Sorce grins as he guns the motor, downshifting into 4th and cuts the wheel hard left to avoid hitting the barricades and squad cars, scattering the boys in blue in all directions… catching a glimpse of princesskarma,

Behind the fleeing lotus was an angry posse of black and white Blogville squad cars… all of them in fact, and 2 helicopters as well… following the racing lotus at breakneck speeds down the streets of the city toward the highway.

“Trav…” “yeah?”“get the stingers and paint that first chopper”“oh yeah!” Trav said gleefully as he set up the pre-launch sequence on the missile. He then popped off the passenger side “T” top off the lotus tossing it in a high arc… it hit the leading squad car square in the windshield. “boooyah!!!” he shouted as the squad car veered into the one closest to it, which set off a chain reaction domino affect taking out all the pursuing police cars.

“hey man, nice shot.” “thanks, isn’t that one of your…”“obscure lyrical quotes? Yes…”“I don’t remember that one.”“I posted it on ALT”“Ahhh… ““shoot that lead chopper down already, you slacker!”

Gritting his teeth, Trav stood up… and taking aim with the missile system painted the chopper with the laser, squeezed the fire trigger and …WHOOOSH! The heat seeking stinger missile made a beeline directly for the chopper’s exhaust… hitting the tail of the chopper with a resounding WHUMP! The chopper went down slowly in a barely controlled descent, the pilot fighting the controls and somehow managing to crash land into sewage processing tank.

“ohhh! That’s nnnnnnnnnnnasty!”“sucks to be him, Trav lol!”

the other chopper broke off the chase… leaving our two anti-heros to go merrily on their way, making their escape and causing mayhem and havoc in their wake…

Hey you realize we are now out 20 Lincons!!! And on top of that, we have loads of Le-Gal expenses too... Maybe we can get champgne and NSA to kick it to cover things, through the Foundation.. You being the Doc and alll...

Quoting 3noangels:Hey you realize we are now out 20 Lincons!!! And on top of that, we have loads of Le-Gal expenses too... Maybe we can get champgne and NSA to kick it to cover things, through the Foundation.. You being the Doc and alll...

oh, the foundation has nothing to do with my outside activities, of which there are many the foundation hired me for my expertise on the job in which they've intrusted me. besides... the cost is going to go up so high that even the bean counters won't be able to add it all up!

My ass hurts.... can we stop and get some band aids? By the way, when we stop and pick up Saint, can she put my band aids on for me?

well, i quit smoking so i don't care about a car lighter... that and we traded in the mazerati that you tracked horse shit into for bard's lotus... (i won't say here what happens to it though! i use a bic lighter for setting flame to other things

we're not headed in saint's direction yet though... eventually we will.

My ass hurts.... can we stop and get some band aids? By the way, when we stop and pick up Saint, can she put my band aids on for me?

well, i look at it this way... any man that possesses the ability to TAG every blogger's ass (be it directly or indirectly) is someone to hang with

not headed northwest yet... seattle to deliver a very special item to a peer who holds my utmost respect as being the best in the business, by way of Missouri to take care of our impending legal needs, and then nebraska to crush a bicycle

don't worry, i won't let trav get "TOO" out of control ...lol! yeah right! ... and it's ok, i know you didn't forsake me, it was father... he knew there could only be one dominant alpha male in the house, and he was it so i had to go (plus he really hated when i raided his beer fridge, liquor cabinet and humidor at the age of 2)... i'd have done the same in his position. good thing he did or you'd have definitely had your hands full!

we'll leave saint out of this... for now lol! and yes, he definitely needs an ass whoopin... i'll make sure to get him to you in one piece for you to deliver it to him

oh like he needed told what he did...you actually believe him Sorceror....there is way to much evidence...he's gonna get it and now you are tooo....*laugh's in an evil disturbed way brought on by the emotional distress at being tagged and revealing way to much about herself...*

Quoting ArealUnicorn:oh like he needed told what he did...you actually believe him Sorceror....there is way to much evidence...he's gonna get it and now you are tooo....*laugh's in an evil disturbed way brought on by the emotional distress at being tagged and revealing way to much about herself...*

and chaos we have....out of cigs and twinkies all at the same time...damn...you could escape to Canada where we don't believe in captial punishment but the smokes are about 10$ a pack and gas is 4$ a gallon...so freedom or cheap cigs/twinkies/gas your choice...Sorceror and Trav...

BTW if you come to Canada I will be donning the RCMP garb and hunt Trav down....he owes me a few things...

Quoting ArealUnicorn:and chaos we have....out of cigs and twinkies all at the same time...damn...you could escape to Canada where we don't believe in captial punishment but the smokes are about 10$ a pack and gas is 4$ a gallon...so freedom or cheap cigs/twinkies/gas your choice...Sorceror and Trav...

BTW if you come to Canada I will be donning the RCMP garb and hunt Trav down....he owes me a few things...

Run, you bastards, run! There's no fuckin' way I can possibly defend you on all these charges! Head to Mexico! We've takin' a lot of their illegals here, so I figure they'll take at least two of ours! I'll put in a call to W. and ask him to contact El Presidente Vincente Fox of Mexico and ask him to smooth the way for you guys!

Quoting TTigerAtty:Run, you bastards, run! There's no fuckin' way I can possibly defend you on all these charges! Head to Mexico! We've takin' a lot of their illegals here, so I figure they'll take at least two of ours! I'll put in a call to W. and ask him to contact El Presidente Vincente Fox of Mexico and ask him to smooth the way for you guys!

sounds like a plan, amigo! ...just need to tie up some loose ends first

you guys are amazing!! This is some funny shit!! By the way...we got lots of places to hide in WV...you dont mind a little banjo picking or squealing like a pig do you??? Im sure the tights would go over real well in the backwoods...keep us posted...smooches ya'll...QueenB

Quoting QUEENBEEV:you guys are amazing!! This is some funny shit!! By the way...we got lots of places to hide in WV...you dont mind a little banjo picking or squealing like a pig do you??? Im sure the tights would go over real well in the backwoods...keep us posted...smooches ya'll...QueenB

just may have to take you up on that.... besides, we're going to be in the area when we pay a visit to Citizen5

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