The unevenness of the everyday emphasizes how it is worthwhile. The last 48 hours have entailed some quite low lows, but also some quite high highs, and I am convinced by both that this is a life I want to be experiencing and enjoying every hour, every day. For the most part, life happens outside of the easily categorized, in all ways.

For example: tonight I went to Pinhook alone at 11:30, long after impromptu plans with other folks would have materialized and didn't. The notable thing here is that I never go to a bar alone; I have done it literally twice before in my life. The first time, I met up with virga almost immediately upon arrival; the second time, I turned around and went home within 4 minutes (I'd also literally never eaten alone at a restaurant until last month; a story for another blog). Anyhow, I decided to stick with it because it was certainly a better time than sitting at home, and after awkwardly waiting for a drink for way too long, I ran into Brock. He bought me a drink and then introduced me around to his friends, and from there I spent the next couple of hours talking to a host of fun folks about what diversity means in graduate schools, Chatham County, and how ex-boyfriends will always haunt you.

Somehow, Brock, Andres, Noah, Katey, and I received instructions from Justin to go to a house party a few blocks away. I drove folks there, as the only Durhamite in the bunch, and quickly realized upon arrival that we were at a leftist May Day extravaganza attended by grad students in culanth and music, and other generally sooper liberal folks. I have never seen such diversity (the real kind, as Noah would point out; townies and Ph.D. students and trans folks and unabashedly horny lesbians and Cuban queers) all together in one house. And I've never seen such a physical protest against Katy Perry; the dance floor literally cleared out when "I Kissed a Girl" came on, with obvious looks of "this is problematic in a way I'm too drunk to unpack right now." :D

But as lovely as all of that was, on the way out, I did what I'd been wanting to do for a week; I asked a guy for his number. And he said yes. And I then spent 15 minutes taking the long road home so that I could squeal inappropriately because 1) I did that like a real adult, and 2) he said yes. This day was made of win.

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The first time I ever went to a bar by myself I felt the same way. Then a guy bought me a beer from the end of the bar. Of course, that guy was Shane. Two years ago last Friday. I never had the nerve to do things like that, but If I'd have known it was that easy, I would have gotten over my fear a LOT sooner!