Thursday, September 8, 2016

September 2004

Early September
2004

My mom had been in the hospital for a few days. She had been
in and out of the hospital for most of my life, but this time was different.
This time she had been in a coma and I wasn’t able to talk to her. I was only
10, so I don’t think that I fully comprehended what was happening. All I knew
was that my mom was asleep, and wouldn’t wake up. At one point, I was talking
to her and she tried to open her eyes, but wasn’t able to.

September 8, 2004.

I got picked up from school early by some of my cousins. I
wasn’t sure what was going on. No one

would talk to me. We got to the hospital
and walked into a small room. The first person I saw was my cousin Rob. He was
crying. Why was he crying? I looked over at my grandma and she said quietly:
“Meghan, mommy died.” My little world crumbled as I cried in disbelief. We were
taken into her hospital room where she laid, quiet and asleep. I touched her
hand and was surprised at how cold it was. My mommy was gone. She wasn’t waking
up.

September 8, 2016

It has been 12 years since my mom passed away. I can still
remember that day like it was yesterday. There were so many things happening in
mine and my families lives during that time. I often think about her and wish
she was here, yet there are many times where I can feel her presence. I have
felt her presence at all of my clogging performances. I felt her presence at my
seminary and college graduations. When I cry, I know she’s there. I felt her
presence at my wedding. She was in the temple watching our sealing and crying
happy tears with all of us. I felt her hand on my shoulder comforting me at my
grandma’s funeral in January. She was with me when I cried and cried over
missing the both of them. There are so many times that I have felt her. I may
not have her with me physically, but I know she’s there. I know that my family
and I all miss her terribly. She is often talked about. You are loved and
missed mom. I love you! Until we meet again.

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My Goal

"True power is in the hands of the one who thrives in the positive, after having known and conquered the negative. Because when the demons come along, she will say to those demons: “I know you, I have owned you, but now you bow down to me.” ― C. JoyBell C.