Posts: 18

Topic: Wedding anniversary

I'm not sure what to do here. I'm not even sure where was best to post this thread. It is my sister and brother in laws 21st wedding anniversary next week and I'm at a loss whether to give him a card or not. It feels wrong not acknowledging it. I know there is no right or wrongs on these things but I'm struggling with this one.

Re: Wedding anniversary

It's a really, really tough one, Clare. All I can say is that when my dad died I didn't know what to do on my parents' anniversary either. It was a very long time ago now, but I still remember mum saying, "He may no longer be here but I am, and this is still the anniversary of the day I married him". I acknowledged their anniversary for many years after that, I was just careful about the cards I bought. To be honest, I made it more about making a "fuss" of mum, rather than about mum-and-dad, which you may not wish to do with your brother-in-law, but I hope my memories help a little.

My sister died last May (2012) and this April was the first time I had to go through her birthday without her. Several of her friends sent ME cards on HER birthday, because they couldn't send them to her. I was immensely touched.

I really hope this helps.

Love and hugsJulia

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Re: Wedding anniversary

Clare, this July will be 3 years for me and the T. While I don't get cards, I personally don't need them to acknowledge what we had. I post my own tribute to Teddy then all the kids call to tell me how much he is missed and what a great love we had. That's enough for me. Instead of a card for your brother in law I am thinking a box of his favorite candy or a plant or a photo in a frame?

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHINGAny suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Wedding anniversary

I always try to plan a nice day on my wedding anniversary,it doesn't have any bad memories attached to it and neither does Joel's birthday.Christmas though is a bit of a challenge because all the really bad bits played out over that time. I will buy myself a present,more a household one than personal and have a nice lunch and remember what a great day we had and if anyone else wants to chip in with their memories I am good with that too. So anyhow hope that helps

Re: Wedding anniversary

Thank you ladies - as always the support and answers come forth.

I just can't let the day pass but it's getting the balance right with my brother in law. I love the idea of a photo Lainy - he's asked my mum to get photo frames and help him with photo's round the house. I'm thinking maybe one of their wedding day. They are still married and without that day, we would not have my brother in law or the children in our lives. It would have been 21 years this year as they married very young (young by today's standards anyway).

Our family has a summer full of birthday's including my sisters so this is just the start of many of those hurdles. I'm already getting in a state about her not being here for my 40th tea party next month but I've found a way of weaving her into the celebration.

Re: Wedding anniversary

Ladies, this is a good thread, something we just don't seem to talk about. Janet, like you on "special days" I also keep busy. We had a couple we were close to from the Shrine and the husbands were close as they used to drive the little mini white cars in Shrine Parades. Peggy's husband passed about 3 months after Teddy, heart trouble, and every year on their Birthdays we do a Birthday Dinner at their favorite restaurant (little Pizza place) and reminisce. What ever works, yes? The more I thought about it the more I liked the photo idea. anything from a framed pic to a small book. Clare, you just know your Sister will be at your 40th!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHINGAny suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Wedding anniversary

She will be there Lainy - just wish she'd tip me the wink so to speak. I've always been a believer and am willing her to show me a sign - have been since she died but nothing. My mum - who was a non believer fessed up a month ago and told me that she knows when my sister is about (she gets a smell) and did I think she was mad and making it up. Hell no! My brother in law also has had signs. I don't even feel her with me if that makes sense.

Re: Wedding anniversary

The witchy comment is meant in a good way! Knowing things I shouldn't and feeling people about me. One day I'll tell you about March 13 date being hugely significant and knowing something major to do with my sister would happen that day.

Re: Wedding anniversary

Oh, I Believe. This is what I posted on FB for Father's Day, NOTHING has got to me like this song. Diamond Rio - I Believe

Every now and then, soft as breath upon my skinI feel you come back again and it’s likeYou haven’t been gone a moment from my sideLike the tears were never criedLike the hands of time are holding you and me

And with all my heart I’m sure, we’re closer than we ever wereI don’t have to hear or see, I’ve got all the proof I needThere are more than angels watching over meI believe, oh, I believe

Now, when you die, your life goes onIt doesn’t end here when you’re goneEvery soul is filled with light it never ends if I’m rightOur love can even reach across eternityI believe, oh, I believe

Forever, you’re a part of meForever, in the heart of meI will hold you even longer if I can

Oh, the people who don’t see the mostSee that I believe in ghostsAnd if that makes me crazy, then I am‘Cause I believe, oh I believe

There are more than angels watching over meI believe, oh I believe

Every now and then soft as breath upon my skinI feel you come back againAnd I believe

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHINGAny suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Wedding anniversary

Well I've ended up getting a plant for my brother in law and sisters wedding anniversary. I was on the phone to mum last night and BIL had asked mum and dad to help him fill the pots in the garden that Nikki used to sort each spring. It's perfect! I should have been patient and not stressed - the solution always appears.

Re: Wedding anniversary

Re: Wedding anniversary

That sounds like the perfect solution Clare!

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