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we lie,
we slander,
we make everyone famous,
we are warholed.
we are everywhere
we are all you have left
we will not sit by whille citizens of this planet get slaughtered for material gain

On This Day in 1917

Robert Walser said to Vladimir Lenin

"So you, too, like fruitcake?"

Afghanistan The MOVIE!

Posted DEC 31, 2008

In order to counter waning viewer interest in the country the Afghani Ministry of Culture has announced a deal with Miramax films to put them back on the front page.
Shia LeBoeuf has agreed to star in this epic movie about a slacker living on the outskirts of Kabul The movie takes place over 8 years, beginning with the young star playing an angst riden teenager during the original bombing of the capital. It then follows him through to the present day.

Watch the star deal with girls, school, an overbearing father and a sympathetic regional warlord in this fun take on the teenage experience!

CNN, Showtime and Fox are all in the running to turn this next big hit of 2009 into a series , or at least mini series.

According to Showtime VP Branch Legace " This could be bigger than Dexter. It's like Californication of the middle east, only without the negative role models"

A video surfaced on the Internet showing a boozed up T.Whid swaying while
he attempts to communicate with M. River.
In the video, taped by Marisa Olsen, Whid is despondent
while the Rhizomer pleads with him to stop drinking. "T., you have
to promise me you're not going to get alcohol tonight, OK? ... You hear
me? No alcohol," says Olsen in the film.
In a statement, the Rhizome alum said: "I am a recovering alcoholic...
Unfortunately, I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse."
The 34-year-old artist went into rehab a few years ago for his liquor
addiction. Whid had his friends tape him when he's drunk so he can study
his behavior

But is he really that buff...? who cares about the addiction..,
well here we think he looks spanking good.

At Slanderous we rarely champion net artists, they just don't need us.
But with Brad Brace we find ourselves at a loss. We know he has generated
a number of original and important works and given freely to the Net Arts
Community. Yet his combative personality and long standing feud with Art/Rat
establishment figures has worked against him over the years. The Canada
Council hates him thanks to his relationship with Tom
Sherman (a former arts officer receiving a major
grant!!!! That's not OK even at the Enquirer ), and so do most academics.
Is there a conspiracy to bury Brad by the gurus in Ottawa, Banff and Vancouver?
Creators vs. Purveyors..., our money is on the Purveyors. Read Brads latest
paean to honesty in the arts (you poor naive dude).

"We have made a proactive decision to take care of our personal
health," they said. "We appreciate your well wishes and ask
that you please respect our privacy at this time."

A source close to the artists tells SLANDEROUS: "The MTAA twins
are in a very positive frame of mind and they are looking forward to making
positive changes in their live."

MTAA has been filming the thriller Karaoke
DeathMatch 100, and a rep for the twins tells SLANDEROUS production
has slowed down since the two entered Rehab. "We hope that when they
return to their normal lifestyle, the DeathMatch will continue. We should
also remind the kids not to try this at home ", an MTAA spokesman
was heard saying.

None of the new media gurus have commented on the Virginia State massacre.
It's hard to comprehend, but at Slanderous we have to say, and this isn't
political,you really don't need guns to get through the day . It is that
simple. No Handguns, no Automatics, nothing. Why are they available? Pointless
and sad to the worst degree. But the Glock
website is cool to the max. People hunting devices in a globally distributed
network.

AT
slanderous we believe that all guns should be banned. And we mean it!!!

Author of Neuromancer, and voice for a generation of New Media Artists
has been discovered in an archived video at CBC Television. The new footage
impacts the authors history, it is dated from 1967, not 1968, and as he
strolls Yorkville (Toronto) he shows the attitude that would later influence
the cyber era. Earlier accounts had him landing north of the border a
full year later. At Slanderous we do our research!

TOO hot to handle!!! we like his younger video, when he was
altruistic and full of love. was he just a hippie at heart when he found
the digerati?

Cary Peppermint stood frozen in his tracks. After returning from a quiet
night out with friends, Peppermint strolled into his bedroom only to find
the larger than life Max Herman occupying his closet. "He just kept
uttering the same thing in Ancient Greek, I was totally freaked!"
said a startled and obviously traumatized Peppermint.
Our sources tell us the Genius
2000 creator was just looking in on his old classmate. " I thought
it would be nice to surprise him, I guess I went a little overboard...I
should have phoned ahead." an apologetic Herman later stated.

Charlemagne Palestine and his other half Aude, were surprised, and shocked
to find the legendary Easter Bunny on their mantle in Brussels. The same
bunny had showed up at Christmas. Is the founder of trance being stalked
by an overzealous icon of the commercial degradation and repercussion
of the Last Supper? According to Charlemagne " Vat doom YOOU Propose VE
DOOOO ?". We suggest ordering his music from Amazon. Music
to Evolve with

Net Artist Patrick Lichty was caught up in a voodoo moment during a walk
through in the deviated suburbs of New Orleans. The East Coast is the
intellect of America, the West Coast is it's libido, but New Orleans is
the Lust that drives the Nation.
As Patrick was walking through his home town, a gaggle of zombies grabbed
him, he gave no resistance. Lying prostrate on their sacrificial altar
Lichty was heard shouting, "Ye s.. yes... Man... yes". Stupefied
by his groaning authorities decided to invade Iran.

Here is Patrick in happier times when he was working for
the Yes Men. What happened America? When you lost your lust you lost everything.

Posted March 29, 2007.
Internet and New Media Star Cory Arcangel was arrested by the FBI today.
The exact charges are now on public record. Apparently Arcangel had graduated
from stealing code to stealing the work of living artists. It all began
after his talk at Columbia
in 2004.
"I'm dismayed but nor surprised" said Rhizome founder Mark Tribe.
Those Rhizomers who follow the artbase can relax for the time being.
"That won't stop Cory", said an excited T. Whid/M. River (see
below), "They have wireless in there don't they?". It's a slow
burn for the rising star, but we know he will get over this bump in the
road.

Bail is set at $50.00.

New York City Police acting on behalf of the fbi, handcuff
the aesthetic kleptomaniac in front of a Chelsea bar. has cory stolen
anything from you? you can steal it back, he doesn't mind. but that's not
cool cory.

Posted March 22, 2007.
M.River and T.Whid, the two artists who make MTAA
work have undergone a major operation!

The two stars of the internet underground have been joined together on
the body of a female weight lifter who died after lifting a tray full
of leaden Pina Coladas. The weight lifter, who remains anonymous had donated
her organs to the Center for Transplant Genetic Research.
When the two net-stars heard the body was available they jumped at the
chance to get closer together.

"It's a dream come true, now whenever I look to my side, I see my
partner smiling back at me!" declared T.Whid.

M. River was overheard saying, " We gave up a pair of hands for
a lifetime together..all in all a great trade-off. Now we can share everything".

Here we see the close up of the two cavorting on the beach
at Coney Island. Will they keep the body in great shape? Enquiring minds...
According to sources eduardo
Kac was heard muttering "I wish I had thought of that.."

Posted March 12, 2007.
US Attorney Terry Flynn watches as his career goes down the tubes. Was
the Attorney for the US Government really being honest when he stated
that the pending trial for Steve Kurtz was an " idiots dilemma"?

While the fav of soon to be deposed Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales
looked upbeat at the pretrial hearing for the ludicrous charges levied
against Steve Kurtz, aids tell us he is sweating buckets.

"Terry has to get his own house in order before he continues with
this witch hunt" according to an an unnamed aide.

Apparently Flynn has been linked to biologic morphed human embryos that
do his every bidding. According to Stanford Bio Tech experts Flynn has
been having unprotected sex with petrie dishes and malformed human experiments!
Will Flynn go down with the rest of the GOP legal arm? Enquiring minds
will stay tuned.

Posted March 8, 2007.
Call it "Me and my Son"! Steve Read is pitching a new reality
show based on his current situation - a clueless bachelor father with
a fully grown twin son! Will Marisa line up for a Cameo?

While his supportive significant other remains in rehab after a monumental
drug and booze meltdown, Read is hawking a reality show that focuses on
his life as a single dad and estranged husband of an out-of-control net
art star.

"Steve is ready for his second '15 minutes of fame,'" a source
tells The ENQUIRER. "This time he wants to focus the cameras on his
personal life as he assumes responsibility for his son. And he's not wasting
any time getting the spotlight back on himself.

Posted March 2, 2007.
Marisa Olsen stepped out for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting Wednesday night
wearing a band on her wedding ring finger, fueling rumors she is reconciling
with estranged partner Francis Hwang.

The artist left the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu, Calif., for
her first supervised outing.

Despite the couple's rocky marriage, a source close to Hwang tells Us
Weekly that once Olsen recovers, "Francis wants to get back together
with her.

"He is her biggest supporter."

On February 24, just three days after the star checked into rehab, Hwang,
Olsen's mother Lynne dropped by the facility for a two-hour visit.

The source adds, "It was a very emotional and happy family moment."

Here's Marisa's finger, her belly, hands etc.. We have documents
to prove everything!!!

Former American
Idol hopeful and new
media editor at large Marisa Olsen was captured by our super staff of
reporters shaving the long blonde locks from her near perfect head! The
Yul Brenner wannabee had no words for the press. "Leave me alone, I
have a life to live and I want to do it sans cheveux!". We were horse
whipped but slanderous amnaged to get ahold of the shaved locs, scissors
and coffee cup Marisa left behind! When exiting rehab we caught the new
media macven off guard, quietly she cinfided that she was feeling a little
out of touch...

Not
the most flattering picture but there she is in all her shining spendour!
what a coif!!!

In the short history of slanderous we've bent pretty low. But now we
are mining depths even we find disturbing. In a brief presented in Miami
Daig County court docket 3, Marvin Prokhammer, the lawyer for NET ARTIST
Lee Wells, has filed a paternity motion with the courts regarding
parental rights to now deceased Anna Nicole Smith's newly born daughter,Dannie
Lynn Hope. Mr. Prokhammer was short and to the point, "My client has rights,
and we will be pursuing these rights all the way to the Supreme Court
if necessary!". The judge acting on the case had no comment, but his aid
was overheard saying "Now the truth is coming out, we can't wait to hear
what Howard K. Stern has to say".

Father
in hiding? Or just another misunderstood attempt at money laundering!

It all started early Sunday morning, February 11, 2007. Alex Galloway,
founder of Rhizome , saw a creature with glowing eyes flying down the
street. On Fire Island, , NY , John Mcowen heard and saw the strange creature
over Ocean Beach. Patrol James Sackville fired at the creature as it flew
away screaming. E.W. Minister, Postmaster, also saw a bird-like creature
with a horses head that had a piercing scream. When daylight came, the
residents of Fair Harbour found hoof prints in the snow. Two local trappers
said they had never seen tracks like those before. Why has the strange
creature moved to a new state? many questions remain unanswered.

Authorities
claim that Galloway's sighting was a hoax, but according to the Rhizome
founder "I know what I saw"

From our exclusive interview with Steve:Joe Edit (editor of slanderous dot org) : "Tell the audience Steve
how it all began"Steve Read (New Media Artist) : "This is my first time having a baby
brother. It all started with this terrible swelling in my head." Joe Edit: "Thats sounds awful Steve, please continue."
Steve Read :" The swelling got bigger and bigger, and then
all of a sudden it began to descend downward, through my neck and esophagus,
into my stomach eventually. "
Joe Edit: "Weren't your parents concerned? How did it affect you over
time? When did you realize something was wrong?"Steve Read : " There the swelling grew for years, larger and larger,
like a pregnancy, until finally by searching on google I came to realize
it might be a person inside of me."Joe Edit : "Was that a special moment Steve?"Steve Read (shaking his head): " (I thought) How eerie, since I am
a man. The newest google search engine was able to see right into my body
like an ultrasound, indexing my stomach, ass, and all, and so the search
results led me to believe this was a twin brother inside me. He was like
a parasite brother though, stealing all my food. I was pissed, so I went
to the doctor and got him taken out right away. Now my brother (Stephen
Reid) is my art slave and he sits at my computer all day writing code for
me. In fact, he is right now writing this post as an assignment. It will
take him years to work off the money from all the food and beer he stole
from me. I've been very busy lately doing interviews with people like Oprah,
Terry Gross, and Madeline Limbaugh (Rush Limbaugh's twin sister). Its been
a wild ride!" Joe Edit: "Gosh Steve, thats some story, we sure hope it all works
out for you. Thanks for your time, and thank your brother too. Or are you
actually your brother?"

Here's Steve and his new brother Steve in the studio,
You can see he has the poor kid working on projects while he relaxes for
the camera.

New Media darling Terence Koh recently went in for a needless
vasectomy, (we have no idea what he was thinking!). But the big surprise
came a few days after the operation when he noticed that not only was he
sterile, he was badly constipated. His underwear sales have plummeted and
the final figures aren't in, be expect much lower first quarter earnings
for the robe clad ritualist.

In Koh's immersive, typically monochromatic environments
-- in which minimalist and baroque aspects of his sensibility vie for
dominance -- a seemingly unknown ritual is about to take place, where
a sense of loss simultaneously suggests regeneration.

Ruth Catrow's net art work ,Proposal for
the Galapagos TortoiseMessagingNetwork, being executed on the Net
Behaviour artists listserv took a sad turn. Turtles began falling of the
edge of the network and were last seen plummeting into the void. The artist
denies culpability but here at slanderous we think someone should take responsibility.

Does this turtle deserve to fall off the face of virtual
planet? You decide!

According to our sources, who are 99% reliable, Steve Read
has given birth to his own twin brother! How is that possible? According
to our medical expert, Read had been carrying the twin for at least 20 years.
Unknown to him was the nature of that swelling in his lower abdominal cavity.
Is Truth stranger than fiction? Just ask Steve! (see the pix on the sidebar)

Giving birth for a man can be painfull, esp. when that man
is Steve Read..

At slanderous we are usually pissed off at every media event. The JOY WAR
however brings us to a new, understated place.
Elsewhere the arguing was bitter...
while Pall kept insisting "No, it was Alexis Turner that quit Rhizome" more ...

Joy
ponders the state of nation, the war and other net worked issues. What is
she thinking? Enquiring minds have the heads up.

PARIS: Jean Baudrillard, French philosopher and social theorist known
for his provocative commentaries on consumerism, excess and what he
said was the disappearance of reality, died Tuesday, his publishing
house said . He was 77.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH STILL DEAD!!!

Posted March 1, 2007.

Not really a story, but it's a grabber!!! The dead body of Anna Nicole
Smith remains inactive. We have reports that her lawyer attempted
Mary Shelly surgery, but she remains deceased. In our editorial scrum,
we came to the conclusion that any woman who would sleep with an 87
yr old man, and bear the child of Za Za Gabor's husband Prince Idiot,
is after all, better off dead.

Our fav American, and he wrote good stuff too. Speechless.
from CNN "Kurt Vonnegut, the satirical novelist who captured
the absurdity of war and questioned the advances of science in darkly
humorous works such as "Slaughterhouse-Five" and "Cat's
Cradle," died Wednesday. He was 84."