Really Bad Poetry

But as strange as this is to read, it really get sad when you see a bunch of young men from the Hyles-Anderson College of West Africa reciting it at the 3rd Annual Pastor’s School at First Baptist Church of Kumasi, Ghana.

218 thoughts on “Really Bad Poetry”

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This instantly reminded me of a Mark Twain story I read a long time ago, called “A Literary Nightmare.”
Quoting Wikipedia:

The story is about Twain’s encounter with a virus-like jingle, and how it occupies his mind for several days until he manages to “infect” another person, thus removing the jingle from his mind

This is the jingle in the story:

Conductor, when you receive a fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare,
A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare,
A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
CHORUS
Punch brothers! Punch with care!
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!

Just the other day, I was looking through my old poetry and thinking how terrible it was. I feel a little better now.

But this is just another thing that makes me feel sick to my stomach and wonder if I’ll ever find Jesus in all of this mess. It sounds nice enough in places, but look towards the end. He basically SAYS that if you’re not seeing Jesus in us, it’s because your soul isn’t right. It’s something wrong with YOU. It’s all plank-eyed nonsense straight from The Cult-Leader’s Handbook. Where is God?? How can we find Him with all these false teachers?!

The REAL question, Heir Schapp, is how WE can sit here and let madmen like you corrupt youth in this fashion? GAH!! 👿

Wow! That one somehow seems worse than the first one. So much to pick apart, but the central point that kept coming back to me as I read it was Nebuchadnezzar’s dream of the tree in Daniel 4. I’m perfectly fine living the rest of my life without ever having anyone compare me to a tree that it the tallest. I have enough problems with pride on my own without anyone else adding to it.

On the last page, he DOES have a point, as much as I hate to say it 😛 He has his “right” Bible, dresses “right,” looks “right,” but if he isn’t helping other people (spiritually and physically) it doesn’t really mean anything.

Wow. This is utterly amazing. I can’t look away, and it’s like staring at the sun too long or something. It’s just so bad- I think I’m hooked on Schaap poetry now. (and thanks pblawman for the link to the chair poem)

Is it possible that an opportunity for a Fundy musical has been missed? While humble, faithful ministers of the gospel are to be commended, maybe the others could also be recognized in a Broadway production.

With apologies to Zero Mostel, some highlights from:

“The Fiddler with the Truth”

Play begins with Pastor singing a rousing rendition of, “Tradition.”

Pastor sings, “If I Won a Rich Man
Ya ha deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle sum
All day long I’d calculate his tithe,
If I won a wealthy man…”

In another scene Pastor belts out, “Soulwinner, Soulwinner catch me a catch.
Walk to the gate, open the latch;
Faith and repentance are misunderstood—
If they say the prayer, they’re good!…”

This site stayed active for probably longer than most of us would have thought, but not as long as many of us would have liked. It would have been nice to see regular new comments at least until the one year anniversary. Personally, I also regret that there was never an SFL reunion. But then that would have been tough to organize.

Anyway, regarding the idea for the bad Fundy musical recognizing those who misuse scripture, here’s an addendum:

(Mrs. Pastor aka “The First Lady of the Church” joins in on the third verse–

I preached on giving all last summer.
I taught on stew-ard-ship this fall.
Someone tell me why the col-lec-tion
Is So Small–
Some tithe/Not yet.
Some tithe/ Not yet…