Guardian opens irritating hipster coffee shop

In what appears to be some horrible joke come-to-life, The Guardian have opened up a coffee shop in Shoreditch, London. Jarringly named #GuardianCoffee - complete with hashtag - the coffee shop is described by the paper as "a single site operation which is both a coffee shop and a space for journalists to work in."

Seethingly irritating.

Jim Waterson tweeted: "Infographics everywhere, iPads built into tables, not a newspaper in sight :("

Great.

A Guardian spokesperson says: "#guardiancoffee is a fantastic example of how we are bringing our open journalism approach to life, by taking our leading technology reporting to where technology actually is: driving real-time debate and engagement among the creative tech community."

"People will also be able to drop in to find out more about The Guardian's innovative approach to storytelling, and to enjoy some great food and drinks from local micro-roastery Nude Espresso."

Or, if you prefer, you can avoid this pretentious, gasping shitbox and make a brew at home and avoid dealing with the linen-suited Apple enthusiasts who will secrete smug from every gawping pore into their soya lattes.

4 comments

3 years agoEuan

Guido Fawkes had a bit of entertainment putting some numbers together for that place..
Using figures from landlords We Are Pop Up, Guido has ground the numbers and calculated how many coffees the Guardian has to sell a day to break even:
Rent for one unit at BoxPark Shoreditch is £5,000 for every three months. Guardian Coffee has knocked three units together, making the cost for a year plus VAT £72,000.
There is a one off service charge for each box of £1,250, and electricity for each box is £150 a month. That makes £9,150 for the year.
Fitting the shop itself is valued at £25,000.
Business rates for Hackney Council are calculated as 47.1% of the annual rent, totalling £33,912.
A shop manager and four staff (based on witness reports of staff numbers) would together cost a minimum of around £100,000.
That is an estimated total cost per year of £240,062.
Each coffee is sold for £2.50.
At an estimated whosesale price of £10 per kilo from Nude Espresso, at 7 grams a cup that makes a fair trade gross profit of £2.43 per coffee.
Meaning they have to sell 98,791 coffees to break even. That’s 8,233 coffees a month, 1,900 a week, or 270 a day – basically one every 2 minutes...
At the time of going to pixel, before Guardian Coffee sadly removed their data infographic from the internet, on their big opening day they had sold just 60 coffees. Another Guardian financial success…

What fun it would be to go in there, call the staff "darling" or "sweetheart", then ask for a bovril, a steak slice with ketchup, and where's the bog, adding "you might want to give it 20 minutes after I've been in there". Then sit down and open a Daily Star.