Kids Still Say the Darndest Things

Remember Art Linkletter? He used to do that program with the little kids who were sitting on chairs in a line on a platform so that he could sit on the edge of it and be face-to-face with the boys and girls. It was called “Kids Say the Darndest Things” and I heard some of the funniest stuff on TV then and now on that program.

Well, his premise is still true today. Kids, with their innocence and literal thinking process absolutely say “the darnedest things,” and we adults continue to laugh at them. At church a few weeks ago, I had asked a little girl to bring up an object (a surprise to me) during the church offering segment of the worship service for me to use for an “object lesson.” This is a little “sermon” I use to teach the children (even the adult children!) which I call the Wonder Box – because the object is usually brought up in a box and I “wonder what’s in it.” I actually learned this from a clergy colleague years ago and it still stands me well, partly because “kids still say the darnedest things.”

Anyway, this 5-year-old brought her mother with her and together they handed me a crucifix which did not have a body on it. It was just a cross with holes in the two ends on the cross-beam and in the bottom of the cross. Her mother explained to me that when they had moved, the body had come off of the cross and they were hesitant to put it back on because they didn’t know how they felt about nailing Jesus on the cross.

Wow! What a sermon opening! No preacher could get this one wrong. I started like I always do by asking the child or children some questions to identify the object – like, “What is this?” and “What do we do with this?” I asked the little girl what the object was and she looked at me like I was a dunderhead and said, “It’s a cross.” Then I asked her, “Why are there holes in the cross?” Again, she looked at me like she couldn’t believe I didn’t know the answers to these obvious questions and then she leaned forward and whispered to me, “They were for the nails – to keep him on the cross.” Before I could say a word, she turned to the congregation and said, in a loud voice, “I guess she doesn’t know about Jesus and the nails.”

Needless to say, she brought down the house! She didn’t know why everyone was laughing but she looked very proud that she had obviously said something very clever. She turned around and beamed at me and said, “I can tell you about him if you like.” Well, I was undone. It was at least 2 minutes before I could speak an intelligent word. And then, all I could say was “Great – tell me.” And she did.

What a wonderful model for a Christian and for a preacher. She showed us all that it’s not only OK to talk about our beliefs, it’s a necessary thing if everyone is going to have the same information. She illustrated for us all how easy it can be to talk about what we believe and how natural it is. My favorite thing about the whole encounter was her facial expressions which made it abundantly clear that she was appalled at how little I knew about someone as important as Jesus.

I guess my point today is – as someone once said, wisdom comes “Out of the mouths of babes” more often than it does from adults because the children have not yet learned to be afraid of saying something stupid or wrong. They just say what they know. They have not yet become self-conscious about much of anything, which lets them speak their minds without all the qualifications we adults have to add in order to sound intelligent. Most adults would have answered my questions like so (if indeed they spoke up at all): “What is this?” “It looks like a cross.” (God forbid they should be wrong so they hedge a little.) “Why are there holes in the cross?” “I’m not sure – maybe to hold it up on the wall or to hold a jewel or some other decoration. What do you think?” Another hedge….

Kids don’t hesitate or hedge or try to keep from sounding stupid. They just tell it like it is and the result is – they sound smart. Oh that we adults could say the darnedest things again!

About ladyfr

An ordained Episcopal priest for 20+ years, I am now semi-retired with a rather small pension so I do services at a tiny little church in the country, work full-time for AAA as an Auto Travel Counselor where I get to take people's money (open and renew accounts) and tell them where to go (help them route trips), and do free-lance writing and other virtual jobs on the internet.
I have one son, Scott, who is married to Stacey, and 2 adorable grandchildren, Jared and Emily. They are all the center of my life and I spend as much time with them as all of the above activities will allow.
I am currently writing an eBook about my experiences in the ordination process of the church and the places I served. It has been a mixed bag of great fulfillment and joy as well as frustration and pain. It's due out in several months.
Closing in on the magic Social Security retirement age, I will soon be able to quit working for AAA or anybody where I have to punch a clock and work completely from home, doing what I love - writing and helping others with their work or their issues.

Welcome to my World!!

I'm Susan Bowman, ordained Episcopal priest better known in some circles as "the Lady Father." In fact, my memoir, which was published in May 2011, is called "Lady Father" because it chronicles my struggles with the ordination process in a diocese that had historically been solidly against women in the ordained ministry of the church. Our Bishop in 1980 was the Rt. Rev. C. Charles Vaché, a longtime opponent of women in any kind of leadership position in the church. He was beginning to soften his stance as he had not only allowed women to serve the chalice at the Eucharist, but had licensed a woman to be the interim Priest at a large parish in Virginia Beach.
Enter Susan Bowman, enthusiastic and much-loved lay youth minister. That would be me - feeling a strong call from God to do more than keep business signs from encroaching on the City of Petersburg's rights-of-way (I had been serving as the Zoning Administrator since 1977). Amazingly, the Bishop allowed me to enter seminary as a lay ministry student and, when it became clear to me that I was called to the Priesthood, he graciously and firmly granted me entrance into the ordination track of the Diocese's ministry training. This action caused quite a stir from the exuberance of most of the teenagers in the Diocese and my circle of friends and colleagues to the utter despair and horror, along with anger and hostility of the more traditional members.
You can read more about the book (click here) or you can read the entire story in "Lady Father," for sale on this site as well as on Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com.
I am "retired" after 27 years of ordained ministry but it's true that old clergy never really retire - they just re-tire. These days my favorite Sunday place to hang out is a little United Methodist Congregation up in the country - it's called Jermain UMC and it is home to the sweetest bunch of people in the universe. Join us for worship at 9:00 am any Sunday.