Friday, February 27, 2009

Well tonight I am going to write a little just to vent for the most part. My husband and I have been married for 12 years now, and together for 19 (long time I know). Some days it seems like yesterday that we were starting our life together, but then the others seem like eternity. For the most part we have a really good marriage, two beautiful kids and an awesome friendship. But we are total opposites in so many aspects. Our biggest problem is that I am an organizer.....and a little OCD when it comes to certain things...lol. He isn't organized at all and it drives me crazzzzy. He also has this thing that drives me almost over the edge here lately. For some of you ladies that read this, you can probably relate with me, while others may not but here goes. My husband is the world's worst at starting projects and not finishing them. We have so many things going on right now that are "almost finished", it is not even funny. We purchased another home about 7 years ago. The reason we purchased this home was because we wanted to have another child and needed a 3 bedroom instead of a 2, makes sense. So we found this really great house with a built in pool and very nice, big yard. The only thing was it needed a face lift. It was an older house and needed some serious remodeling and updating. We got the house at a really good price, planned on doing the improvements and then in maybe ten years, reselling, making a hefty profit, and then building. So the first couple of years we totally redone both girls bedrooms, the kitchen and the living room. The next year we worked on the yards and put up privacy fences and a wooden fence around the pool. Everything so far now is very updated and I am pleased. But in the meantime...I decided to go back to school, and now I hardly have any extra time for helping out with home improvements, and feel like I have to be on somewhat of a schedule to survive. So I have explained to my husband, let's just wait awhile before starting any more projects. I cannot function living in chaos. But I don't think my husband is listening, and my words are going in one ear and out the other, because right now we have about 7 different projects going on that he is undergoing himself. He has just put in a new front door, new french doors, and started new crown molding in the dining room, today as we speak. He also went to Lowe's earlier today and bought two new ceiling fans and two new light fixtures to go in the living room. He took down the old ceiling fans and light fixtures and they are piled up in the corner of my living room. Why he took down the ceiling fans and lights when he knew he had started crown molding, and had no intentions of getting to them for weeks, I have no clue and we have argued half the day about that. I understand he wants to keep things going and all that is fine and dandy, but the problem is everything he starts never gets finished....it takes months for him to finish something he starts, and then I have to work around the mess. Sometimes I feel like just screaming. Sometimes I feel like he is being selfish and not listening to me at all, or doesn't care about my feelings towards the matter. Yes...I am somewhat of a neat freak and that drives him crazy, but heck it drives me crazy just as well with myself, but it's something I can't control. He knew that when he said "I do"...lol. So let me just do a little run down of what's going on at my house...the front door is "almost finished" but still needs the trim put around it, the french doors are "almost finished" except for the trim around them and painting the exteior of them and the ceiling fans, lets not even mention those, because all I see is one big mess, tools laying everywhere and popcorn and plastic, from the boxes. He said he just wanted to get hem out and look at them, but now the kids are not suppose to touch, which puts even more stress on me, so that some part doesn't get lost by our 3 year old. That's not all though, last weekend he took down all the sheet rock in our hallway and put more up, only problem is he puttied it, and sanded it, the work has stopped there, so it too is "almost finished", except for the trim and paint. Must I go on...o.k. just one more thing, he also, about 2 weeks ago started building a new pool shed, which is "almost finished" but not quite, so now all of our pool chemicals, pool supplies, floats, and other pool stuff is sitting in my back yard, in one huge pile also. Everything is literally driving me insane. I have tried to be kind and explain to him, honey...let's completely finish one thing before you move on to another, but like I said it's not happening. For the most part, living around all of the tools, loose screws, trim sitting in various places in the house, gallons of paint, and everything else, I feel like I am losing it. It makes me ill with him, ill with the kids and I feel like I never get anything accomplished but trying to pick up after him. He on the other hand, tells me to get a grip, learn to live in it and stop nagging. I don't know what else to do. One thing too is that he gets off work at 2:30 everyday and has so much time to start all these unfinished projects. I guess what I needed was to vent. Maybe I am nagging too much, but I also feel like marriage should be 50/50, and if he knows something bothers me that much, then we should work together on it,I don't think it should always have to go "his" way. Tell me ladies, am I being unfair...you won't hurt my feelings at all...I just want some opinions.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Saturday night my husband and I went out and enjoyed a nice, quiet "mexican" dinner alone, "kid free"! The girls stayed with my mom and I have to admit it was nice for a change. It was nice to finally be able to have an adult conversation with no interruptions and actually eat my food while it was hot...lol. We used to try and do that at least every two weeks, but here lately it's beginning to happen only about every other month . So for anyone out there who has small kids, you know what it's like to need a "break" every now and again, especially us stay at home moms. To be able to go out and enjoy a meal without having to go to the bathroom four times, or without a drink spilling, or a fight between siblings....is nice. For the most part, I am a stay at home mom and have been for about 5 years now. I do get a little break now, 4 days a week to take classes, but I'm not really sure if that is considered a break...hummm. I am currently working on my RN degree which is very stressful with two small kids, that demand so much of me, but I am giving it my all, hoping it will pay off in the end. My days start at 6 a.m. and don't usually end until midnight or later. To say the least, I am tired...lol. I feel much older than what I actually am. I'm not sure that "daddies" ever get the full effects that us "mommies" do. In all reality, if it could hold a label or position, we have the most demanding jobs around. We should make well over the $100,000 mark...lol. Sometimes people tell me, "you are so lucky that you don't have to work and get to stay home with your kids". When I hear that, it just makes me cringe, because I do work, from dawn til dusk. I think sometimes people think us moms just sit around and watch the soaps all day in our pajamas, far from it! I know for a fact that I work harder than any job I have ever had in the past, and never quite get the recognition deserved. I don't think any mommie does. In my opinion, every mom needs a break for herself at least once a week. Weather that means a manicure/pedicure, a lunch date with a girlfriend, shopping for a new outfit, or just getting a trip to Wal-Mart....alone for a couple of hours. To all the moms out there....just realize we have a tough job that requires alot of time and energy. Lots of stressful days and sometimes maybe even some tears. Sometimes I get so stressed out by the end of the day, I just need 5 minutes alone to sort out my thoughts. Don't get me wrong, being a mom is the greatest thing I have ever done and will do. To get to watch my children blossom and grow is a true blessing and I thank God every day for them. But in the end, we all deserve a "mommie" break. I guess what I am trying to say is this...don't feel bad or think that you are a bad mother just because we get aggravated or stressed....it's all perfectly normal. We aren't robots, we are human, all of us. So in the end, don't try to be superwoman. If you get a chance to go out for some one on one adult time, take it and don't feel guilty. And by all means, enjoy each and every day with your children. Because once they grow up, you can never get those "little" years back again. But on the other hand, take a break for yourself also...it will only make you a better mom in the end.