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Spill It!: I Am Too Selfish

February 1, 2011

Welcome to the first Spill It! post of the new blog redesign! And a guest post, at that! Ameena writes a super fun blog about life in Los Angeles with her husband and daughter at Fancy That, Fancy This. Enjoy!

I Am Too Selfish

By Ameena Din

I used to pride myself on being open and honest on my blog, but since my family and friends now read it, there are a few topics I tend to gloss over. I do this mainly because I don’t want certain people to know just how messed up in the head I am. And trust me when I say that I am very messed up in the head.

It goes without saying that I was excited to learn I could “spill it” here on Jana’s wonderful blog because seriously, what could be better than getting to confess something terrible, all the while knowing that nobody I know will ever find out?

So today I’d like to confess that among my many, many shortcomings is the fact that I am extraordinarily selfish. I realize that most people are, to some extent selfish, but I think that I go beyond most people.

Allow me to provide a few examples:

1. I will not share my food. With anyone. This includes my husband and my daughter. I actually get angry when people put their fork/spoon/fingers on my plate and I’ve been known to physically shove his/her fork/spoon/fingers away.

2. I won’t let others drink from my glass. Despite assuring my daughter that yes, we can drink from the same glass because we are family, I have not shared my water bottle or glass with her, nor do I ever plan to.

3. I don’t like carrying other people’s stuff around. This includes my husband’s wallet and cell phone, and my daughter’s snacks, sweaters, and the “treasures” she picks up from the filthy playground.

4. I hate to be inconvenienced. I don’t like being interrupted me in the middle of something. I am always in the middle of something. This is a problem.

So why am I like this? I’ve given it a lot of thought. My theories include the fact that I was born this way and/or my selfish parents made me what I am today. It could also be my sister’s fault since she stole every single one of my toys when we were younger. I suppose it really doesn’t matter because the question is; how do I overcome my selfishness before people start to hate me?

What an entertaining little post! Love it! (And I like the idea of your “spill it” features.)

Reading this, even taking it with tongue-in-cheek or big grain of salt, I realize that I truly am not selfish. I was more “particular” before children, but not selfish then either. Since kids? Really not selfish. Not about food, my time, my energies, my “stuff.” If anything, I could probably do with being more selfish.

I will say… when I have “diet food” in the house (not that often), I don’t want it disappearing into the black hole stomachs of growing kids and their friends. But other than that? I could probably do with a better job of saying no. Something I’m still working on.

1. I will share turnips. I will not share cupcakes. I have stabbed people. Softly, but stabbed is stabbed. You’re normal.
2. I love my children, but they bring diseases home from “out there”. You’re normal
3. Unless you’re also a pack mule or insisted they bring these things that you don’t want to carry, you’re normal
4. You’re normal.
I’ll add one of my own. I hate my fellow motorist and am convinced I should be the only one allowed on the highway when I need to use it.

LOL. *Sigh of relief* So it is not just me. So you mean we mothers don’t have to be selfless Mother Teresa? I guess Mother Teresa would NOT have had children to begin with… But that’s a different story…

I really hate to be inconvenienced. The problem is: having children is like having automatic inconvenience button built in… then of course I feel even guiltier for thinking it this way. Ugh.

I have to say, Ameena, I don’t think you’re that selfish. I am so similar. Could it be possible that all mothers hate sharing their drinks and food with their kids but just won’t admit it? Maybe you’ll start a revolution here.

And just so you know, my husband texted me, “Hey, you’re way more selfish than your guest poster!”

So even more evidence that you’re not alone.

(He did call to apologize, just as I was burning his clothes on the front lawn. So now he’ll still have socks, but with lots and lots of holes. Not so different from the norm.)

What is up with the kids and husband thinking that you’re not entitled to your own stuff?! I get a snuggie for Christmas and it ends up in one of the kid’s room. I buy some ice cream – it’s gone in one night. I have an iPhone but somehow it has to be the family toy. I buy cranberry juice for my cosmos – all the boys drink it gone. Makes me want to scream – can’t I have anything of my own?! And, so now you know why you are selfish. It’s the mother’s plight.

I used to be a compulsive food not-sharer. But for some reason, Marcus can nab things off of my plate and I don’t blink twice. Conversely, half the time I eat food that Marcus would never allow near his plate. Defense mechanism or reality?

You guys are so great. Here I was thinking I’d be shunned for admitting such things and yet every single comment here is so thoughtful and supportive. Jana is right – her readers are tops. Thank you all! And thank you Jana for letting me vent. I feel so much better!

It’s not so much to ask that we have our own things and our own space. We aren’t just mothers, we are people and we all deserve our ownness! It’s not selfish to not want grimy, food-laden lips all over our cups!