I think I need a couple of prologues to properly tell this story (Ironic for someone that would call their tale 'Chapter Two'), but I'll just write this one and see if I can cover everything.

The first part would be my introduction to the concept of 'Orgasm Denial.' When I think about tracing it back to its very roots within me, I come to the Barenaked Ladies. Not kidding. There was a song on the radio back in the day, and one of the lines was 'like Sting, I'm tantric.' My girlfriend at the time thought that Sting was the sexiest person in the world, and so that line always caught her, and then my, attention.

Eventually, I purchased a gift for her, a book on tantric sex and orgasms, but she left me before I could give it to her. Later, I found it in the back of my closet, and out of curiosity, I began perusing it. In the back, there was a pretty detailed description of how to practice a tantric orgasm, and I began following the instructions. Stripping all of the metaphysical non-sense out of it, it was pretty awesome, and eventually I would come to find out that it was simply called 'orgasm delay.'

Years followed, and the internet came out. In searching this new cornucopia for more information on orgasm delay, I wandered into orgasm control and orgasm denial, and suddenly I had a new kink in my playbook. It was about this same time that a new girlfriend entered my life, and she would eventually become my wife. Of course, while I searched and watched and built fantasies around this new kink, I was in a budding relationship that really wasn't ready for that presentation.

Jump around a bit here ... my introduction to chastity actually came long after I'd purchased and discarded my first 'chastity' device. I was raised in a small mid-western town, before the internet, with only Dad's Playboys and my brother's Penthouses as inspiration. When I finally moved to a larger city, and entered my first real sex shop, I was blown away. I have no idea why the only thing that I purchased that day was a Stallion Guard. I have no idea what drew me to it. When I got it home, and put it on, I had no idea what it was for, or how to use it. I pleasured myself a bit while wearing it, maybe a few times, and then eventually discarded it for fear of it being discovered by one of the many roommates that I would have over the next few years.

Of course, with the discovery of orgasm denial came the subsequent discovery of chastity, but honestly, I never put the Stallion Guard history that I had together with it. I have no idea why. Perhaps because I hadn't seen any videos with that particular device in them, and none of the devices I had seen looked anything like it. As such, the first time chastity play actually entered my life with someone else, I would not have said that I had explored it on my own. Whether I would've been right about that, I'll leave to someone else's call. I don't really care.

My introduction to chastity play with someone else was extremely erotic for me, for about an hour, and then took a left turn. My girlfriend (now wife) and I were both working in restaurants at the time, and as most restaurant employees will tell you, we hated Valentine's Day. Far more work than a normal shift, for far less return. All the people that never eat out come out in force on that day, don't know how to act, and don't know how to tip. We were almost a year into our relationship when our first Valentine's Day fell upon us, and of course, we both had to work that evening, so a special dinner for us was out of the question for two reasons. No time, and we didn't really want to contribute to the mayhem that every restaurant experiences.

I convinced her, and still to this day I have no idea how, that instead, after our shift, we should rebel and go to the sex boutique downtown in our big city. We had so much fun holding hands and walking around that store. By this time, and with the help of the internet, I had developed a lot more experience than her, so as we walked around, I spent quite a bit of time telling her what various things were used for.

And then we came to the glass case, and inside was a medieval leather and steel 'chastity' device. She pointed and asked what it was, and I answered.

Her eyes lit up and she said, "That looks like fun." I was nearly overcome. I couldn't believe that this slowly developing fantasy in my mind had actually been broached accidentally, and she approved.

We bought that device, and in the car on the drive home, she couldn't wait. She had it out of the packaging, holding it up and turning it this way and that, trying to figure out where everything went. There were quite a few leather straps in odd directions that made it less obvious to anyone not packing the intended equipment. Once we were home, she couldn't wait to see it on me, and I was thrilled to oblige.

And that's where that particular fantasy took an immediate kick in the nuts, as it were. "Now what do I do with it?" she asked, her face scrunched up like she'd smelled something bad (side note, years later, the leather developed a smell that made her make that face again).

It didn't become an immediately popular device for us to play with, but on occasion, she'd "tell" me to put it on, and then we'd have some interaction where she'd have me take it off rather quickly.

The second part of this 'prologue' to my story would be the slow development of orgasm denial in my relationship with my wife. I do not at all remember the first conversation that we had about it. What I can remember is that at some point, we started playing around with it, and then eventually, it started including that leather and steel cock cage device. I remember that it started with three or four days of me not "allowed" to have orgasms, and slowly stretched to longer time frames. During those times, she'd "make" me wear the contraption for a couple to a few hours a day, never for a full day, and never two days in a row.

I do remember, very distinctly, the first time we crossed that threshold where my brain chemistry changed (assuming that's what it is). She came home after a long day at work, where I'd been free to play video games all day. Normally, I'd glance up from the game as she walked in, offering a quick, 'Hey.' Then she'd go change into something more comfortable, and come sit beside me on the couch, whence I would let her know that as soon as I got to a save point, I'd shut the game off and we'd figure out dinner.

On this day that I'll never forget, I heard her car pull into the driveway, and without thinking, I got off the couch, walked to the video game machine, and turned it off in the middle of a 'level.' I then hurried outside to meet her as she got out of the car, gave her a big hug and kiss, and took her bag off her shoulder to carry inside for her. I hadn't been playing video games all day. Instead, I'd gone to the store and bought something to make for dinner. So I told her to go change into something more comfortable, and when she returned, I was already started on dinner, and had a glass of wine waiting for her.

She sat and we talked as I made the entire dinner, and then we ate, and then I wouldn't let her help clean up, instead pouring her another glass and telling her to tell me more about her day as I cleaned up. She started giggling, and then said something to the effect of, "You really want me to let you orgasm, huh?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"All this," she replied, gesturing to the dinner and the wine, "and meeting me at the car, and just ... tonight ... you."

It hit me. I hadn't even realized all of these things I'd done. I had no idea at the time that I might be experiencing a known change in my brain chemistry leading to this behavior. What I did know, and what I couldn't explain, was that none of this had to do with my wanting an orgasm. I just wanted to do something nice for her. I just wanted to make her happy. I almost cried as I realized what I was doing, and tried to pinpoint the why.

That was around the two week mark of denial, and the first time we'd ever gone that long. I can't tell you if I was pushing for longer at that point in our life together, or if it was mutual, or what. I just remember that was the first time we both experienced the change in attitude that I go through, and we were both shocked by it a little. It would actually be years before I would understand that it might be a hormonal change in my brain chemistry that comes from not having orgasms (and I still haven't found anything to convince me that the "science" claimed to be behind that is real; but I definitely experience it).

Over our almost fifteen years together, we have continued to play with orgasm denial. It's always around four to six weeks, and usually nine to twelve months apart. I have acquired some better chastity devices, and found a favorite, but she never had me wear them more than a few hours, and rarely more than one evening in a row, with the most being three, I think.

Last summer, we were engaged in one of my orgasm denial periods that lasted about five weeks. During it, I told her that I really wanted her to be meaner with the cage. Longer periods. There was a revelation of sorts that started within this conversation. She told me that I'd never asked for that before. I left it alone at the time, not wanting to start a fight, but I could distinctly remember asking multiple times over the many years. She stepped up, and made me wear it for probably ten days of that denial period.

The revelation would come by putting that statement together with another statement she made during a much more recent conversation. I was telling her that sometimes, I would go out on this limb to share a fantasy with her, and she would just forget completely about it. I know my wife very well, and I would never ask her to do something that she was uncomfortable with (and she wouldn't hesitate to tell me), so I wondered what the problem was. She eventually revealed that sometimes, she thought I was just talking in the moment, getting myself hotter by sharing a fantasy. She didn't always realize that I actually wanted her to do some of these things.

I've gotten much more specific now, to say the least, and I think that's what she was thinking when I would ask her to be meaner with the cage.

So now to the meat of our story ... the current situation that has prompted me to start this journal, and the reason for calling this journal 'Chapter Two.' She cut me off recently (February 16th), and then I wanted to have a long talk with her about the length and frequency of our denial periods. We had that talk, and we're going to try something new, and see if it works. I've been locked in my cage since March 12th, with one overnight out, and one full day with the book-ended nights out on March 24th.

In my next entry, I'll give some details on the conversation that we had, and start detailing some of the events and emotions that are occurring.

I want to add something to this prologue, though. I did not come to this conversation as a man looking to improve our intimacy, or our sex life. We already have a good relationship. We communicate well, work as a team against all fronts, we're intimate, we have a solid sex life with good frequency for us, and she's always been playful, willing to try new positions and toys. We are both satisfied, and happy. Lucky, if I'm being honest.

I came to this conversation because I love orgasm denial, and I want to experience more of it, explore more of it, but I cannot do it without her. When I try on my own, I get to around ten days, maybe fourteen, and I say to myself, "This'll feel good enough," and I let myself have an orgasm. I don't know why, but when I'm making it her decision, it's a thousand times easier to control myself. In addition, for us, the chastity has little to do with control. I am naturally submissive, so I do want it to be her decision and it mostly is (except for me asking for more, more, more), but it's not enforcement of the denial. It's more like an additional, constant tease that keeps me hornier, more 'frustrated.'

I can say that I've always been the kind of guy that enjoys the journey more than the destination, so this is very natural for me. The best part of sex for me isn't the orgasm, it's the foreplay and fucking. Why wouldn't I want that to last for as long as possible?

I love orgasm denial. I love the feelings it gives me; I love the changes it makes to my personality; I love the increased sensations; I love the joy of her.

It doesn't make me suddenly start doing chores. I already do more than my fair share. I do the dishes because she sucks at it. I'm like Ned Flanders. I clean the dishes completely, and then into the dishwasher they go, orderly so everything gets sprayed. She barely rinses them, throws them into the dishwasher in disarray, and when they come out, you pretty much have to clean them again. I do the laundry, because she sucks at it. I can get probably eight loads of laundry done throughout a normal weekend day around the house. She puts something in the washer, and three days later remembers that it's there. So instead of putting it into the dryer, it needs to be washed again, and then she forgets again. It can take her ten days to one load of laundry.

It makes me do the chores better. One example that's fresh in my mind. This past weekend, we had a game plan. One of us would take the kids up to the big community park, while the other stayed home for a couple of hours and cleaned. Then the one cleaning would bag up some charcoal and hot dogs and meet everyone at the park for a picnic grilling. Of course, I volunteered to stay home and clean, not a little bit influenced by a month of no orgasms, and my wife was happy to take me up on it. Now, if I'd been free to have orgasms for the past month, I would have spent the first hour on the internet and masturbating. Then I would have done a minimal job to pass as two hours worth of cleaning, and made my way slowly up to the park. Instead, I looked around the house and my first thought was, "What can I do to take her breath away when she walks in here this afternoon?" That's the kind of change that I'm talking about.

And when it comes to the benefits for me ... the other night we were sitting apart on the couch watching television. We both kind of stretched at the same time, and our hands accidentally met on top of the back of the couch. She gave me a loving finger lock, but then she started kind of playing with my index finger. About two seconds later, I realized she was playing with it as if it was my cock. She was lightly grazing it along the length, and then just under the front, and doing all those amazing things that she does when I'm getting a great teasing hand job. Free orgasms and no cage, and that would have been mildly amusing. In my current condition, and with the cage on, it was like having sex. I had trouble breathing, couldn't focus on the television, and I was throbbing in my constriction. Those are the sensations that I'm talking about.

So what's the point of this journal, again? Oh, that's right. We had a conversation. On February 16th, my wife started another denial period in our life. A couple of weeks later, I decided to build on the 'more cage' conversation we'd had the summer before, and present her with an idea that'd been building in me for a while. I had no idea what would actually be palatable to her, so I went out on a limb. I asked if we could try longer denial periods and shorter freedom periods. Our past had always been four to six weeks of denial, and nine to twelve months of freedom. I was hoping that maybe, for the next year or so, we could try two to four months of denial with two to four weeks of freedom instead.

I offered that with the longer denials, I might be able to calm down a bit (always a problem for her). If I knew this was going to be longer, and more often, I wouldn't get so anxious about 'can we try this?' and 'could we do more of this?'. In addition, I tend to talk about nothing but, so perhaps with the longer and calmer denial period, I could stop trying to analyze it all and just live in it. Just experience it. I also offered that frequently when we did this, she felt a sort of obligation to up her game, and then that would leave her feeling sexed out and uninterested in continuing. If we made the denial period longer, perhaps she could relax on that, and just let what normally happens in our love life continue in the denial period. Instead of this being a special event, it could just become a more normalized occurence.

She was on board with the idea, in general, but had a couple of her own concerns. The obstacle to my idea that I found most surprising was how the changes in my personality affected her. First she mentioned that she wanted to be married to the guy she married, not the super cuddly sweet guy that I became. I thought that was a little odd, but upon further review, I think I understand. More on that in a minute. What really worried her, though, was when she does let me orgasm, the change in my personality is so sudden and shocking that she's not interested in experiencing that more often. (I know a bunch of you are screaming the obvious solution at the computer screen right now; Permanent denial is not in the cards, unless they finally make a device that truly can't be beaten, and my wife gets much meaner than she is now.) She proposed even longer denials, like six months or so, with longer freedom periods around three months. I took it, and thus I feel the need to call this a second chapter in our sex life.

Now, as soon as she mentioned that problem, the committee that runs my brain started having 18 hour a day meetings to find a solution to that. Their current proposal ... do nothing, but I'll explain more on that.

I'm having success so far in one area, not talking about it. Somewhere on this forum I read about a couple where the boy is only allowed to talk about orgasm denial and chastity one day a week. I might try that, either self enforcement or mentioning it as a deal with her. Currently, I'm having some success with only talking about it when she brings it up, but even then, I know I'm going too far. If she brings it up, suddenly I have twenty things to add, "...since you mentioned it." That needs to stop.

The other thing that I need to work on, that we didn't talk about, but I just know ... backing off. I want to sit next to her, and stroke her arm and smell her hair, while we're sitting on the couch watching television. I want to spoon to sleep every night, and spoon again in the morning when the alarm goes off. When she hugs me, I want to hold her longer (forever) than I normally do. I'm not saying I need to stop doing all of that, because she does get used to it, and the biggest problem she expressed includes the loss of all that cuddling. I do need, though, to lay off a bit from it. Yes, she does want longer hugs, and she does enjoy cuddling and smooching and even making out. But my passion has increased ten fold while hers has stayed the same. Whereas I wasn't passionate enough before to completely meet her desires, my ten fold increase is beyond what she actually needs, and slowly, over time with this new me, she might come to accept and want more, but I have to be patient and let the happen instead of smothering her with increased affection.

As for the do nothing objective ... that's important. Right now, I need to let her settle in, get used to the new me, and her new role. I need to let her accept it all; the increased affection, the increased consideration, all of it. That's the only way I'm going to sell her on the idea of retaining this. As to the longer freedom periods, and the shock of the change that the orgasm washes over me, I'm working on that, but the first part involves her coming to find this me to be actually better and more desirable. That's the first part. I want to make her understand that this me is still me, just like the drunk me. No desires have been created in the drunk me; inhibitions have been reduced so I act on more impulses than sober me would. No desires have been created in the denied me; energy has been forwarded away from the selfish me and into the considerate me.

If I can get her to concede that this me is better for both of us, then I can work on the concept of how do we get this me back as fast as possible after the orgasm, as opposed to both of us getting used to the other me again. We've never done denial periods this long. Is it possible that after four to six months of no orgasms, instead of four to six weeks, it will take more than one orgasm to set me all the way back? We don't know. In the past, this me pops out of my brain in the three to four week of denial range. Could it be that if we went back to denial faster, there would already be some groundwork left in the brain to build upon, and it would only take two weeks? Or if I was only allowed one evening of orgasms, say two or three, and then right back to denial, could I get back to this state in days instead of weeks? We don't know.

I didn't propose two to four weeks of freedom because that's what I want. It was something that I thought might be palatable enough for her to try. I had nothing to base that on. Now that I have some information to work with, my brain is in overdrive. And you, the reader of random postings on the internet, are going to suffer the brunt of that. I might be happy with one orgasm every three to six months, especially if it allows me to feel like this for most of my life.

Again. Current plan of action : Inaction. Settle down, boy. Back off. Relax. Try not to think about it.

(Ironic that the day I'm unlocked is when I finally get an avatar of my current go to cage. So excited about MMJB, but I have to wait until probably May for that to arrive.)

Last night, my incredible wife let me out of the cage. She told me to tie her down to the bed, and do anything I wanted to do for fifteen minutes. Two rules in place : I had to make her orgasm, and I was absolutely not allowed to orgasm (success on both).

I was put into my cage for the first time in this orgasm denial period on March 12th. I'm close to 24 hours a day, and she let me out on March 20th, for the night, but back in on the evening of the 21st. She let me out on the 23rd, back in on the 25th, and last night, the 28th, after I had my fifteen minutes, she told me to leave it off "for the night." I have no idea if that means she'll order me back into it sometime today, or tonight, or not.

That's not bad for someone who's previous long time was 8PM to 6AM only for six days. I'm really starting to feel more of the control aspect, and I love it. With her having an orgasm last night, I can expect a lowered interest level from her for the next few days, and I'm hoping she orders me back into it for that time.

During those times, there were a couple of brief evening unlocks while I pleasured her, and there was one instance where she unlocked me, walked to the bedroom door and as she was closing it behind her, she said, "I'll be back in fifteen minutes." I bring this up in particular because I find this part one of the best parts of denial. I didn't move from the spot she left me in. I stood there stroking to the edge, and then when I couldn't stand anymore, I simply dropped to me knees and kept stroking until she returned fifteen minutes later, and told me it was time to get back in the cage. The part that I love is that I didn't need any porn to spend fourteen and three-quarters minutes on the edge. When I'm free to have orgasms, I watch a ton of porn. And all porn. I have no favorite category, other than "porn." When I'm in a denial period, all I need is the images and memories of my wife. I haven't looked at porn in over a month now. I have no need. Simply thinking about my wife right now makes me ache when I'm in my cage, and completely hard when I'm not. If I'm allowed to stroke, I can edge in about 15 seconds just thinking about my wife. That represents another reason that I love orgasm denial so much.

I wanted to clarify something from my last post. I said "she sucks at it" a couple of times, and I think that may have been an unfair representation of our relationship. Yes, I'm telling you that she's not a domestic goddess (she's my sexual goddess). I've known since very early in our relationship that she wasn't very good at the housework, but I want to emphasize that she still brings a lot to the relationship outside of our bedroom. She's really good at earning money, improving and advancing her career, and definitely compliments our relationship perfectly there. I've made some advancements in my career, but I'm not driven the way she is, and I'm happy to do these other things so she can absorb the stress and hours of a very hard job that she does very well. I was really only trying to make the point that I do not start doing chores when I'm denied; I start doing chores better. I was definitely not trying to make her seem unfair or incompetent. She does better things for our relationship.

I wanted to add this, mostly for me, so I don't forget. A little totally unprompted mind play.

We were watching television last night before our play time, and between shows, we had both gotten up to use the restroom, refresh drinks, etc. We met briefly in the kitchen, and walked behind her, and pressed into her, wrapping my arms around her. I was quickly throbbing in my cage as she leaned her head back, lifted one of her hands up and put it on the back of my neck, and I nuzzled into her neck and started kissing her.

I let my hands roam up her body and began to rub her breasts. They were free of her bra, under just her nightshirt. She let me rub them for a moment, and then said, "You didn't ask for permission to do that." I quickly dropped my hands, and then asked, "May I rub your breasts?"

"I don't know," she replied. I kept my hands rubbing up and down her hips and thighs. "You can get closer to them, though."

I moved my hands closer, and kept rubbing her body, and she said, "Your thumbs are touching them."

A moment later, even though I was trying not to, "Your thumbs are still touching them."

I asked again, "May I please rub your breasts?"

She was silent for a long few moments. Then she said, "Okay."

I immediately moved my hands up and started rubbing her breasts. I was raging in the cage now, and she let me rub them for probably two minutes before she said, "I didn't mean, 'okay, you can touch them'; I meant, 'okay, we're done'."

As we made our way back to the couch, she added, "I think that was three infractions you'll need to be punished for ... no, actually, five if I count each individual thumb graze. Five."

Later, before she told me to tie her up and do anything I wanted, she swatted me with the flogger five times while I was licking her.

That sequence is not completely out of character for her, but it's definitely not something she pulls out very often. I can say that I think she's coming into more of that. There are little comments throughout the day that are just on the border, and then when I look at her, she's grinning, letting me know, 'yep, that's what I meant'. She's also started correcting me. When she's doing something amazing to my body, and I'm compelled to utter, 'oh my god,' she'll offer in a commanding, instructive voice, 'don't you mean, oh my goddess?'.

As I mentioned, I had given my wife an orgasm night before last, so I was expecting a few days of inattentiveness. Actually, hoping, because I really don't want her to get burned out.

But it's been a very long time since she did one of my favorite things, an edging handjob, and she decided that last night would be good for that, as she wasn't interested in reciprocation.

When she does that to me, we use an "orgasm safe word" so I can let her know I'm at the edge simply and quickly. There's a video out there where the guy says 'eight' each time he edges, and my wife and I liked that idea and stole it. Eight, as in, on a scale of one to ten, I'm at eight, ten being the orgasm itself, and nine being just too close for comfort.

It has been a while since she's given me that, and I love it. Her fingers are magical. The reason I wanted to write this, though, was that I noticed something ... I don't know ... weird, cool, interesting, thought provoking.

Lately, all of my teasing has involved intercourse. More often than not, when we're engaged in that fashion, I'm in the driver's seat. So as I've been edging in that fashion, I get closer to the edge, I slow down a bit, closer, slower, easing myself up to it before I stop. Like stopping at a light that's already red as you approach it. Slowing down early and easing up to it before finally coming to a halt.

With the orgasm safe word, and her hands in control, it was completely different, and had a much more, let's say, profound effect. More like approaching that red light and at the very last second, slamming on the brakes. Every time. Or kinda like that moment when the light turns yellow as you're getting there, and for just a second, you think, "I can make that," and then you see the cop on the cross street and decide it's not a good idea anymore, and you come to a screeching halt inches from the stop line.

I think it was much harder to say the word, knowing that she would stop, than it is for me to slowly stop myself. I almost felt like there might come a point here in a couple or a few weeks where I might find myself unable to say the word. I really hope not. That would be a pretty extreme violation of the trust I'm trying to build.

But it was hard to say it, every time.

Now I doubt anything will happen tonight, and the next few nights after that are all looking too busy for anything to happen as well, so ... I should be shutting up for a little while. Thanks for letting me get this stuff out. It's really helping. I had no idea.

Last night, we were planning our evening. It was a fairly easy decision : on the couch, in front of the television. We settled on a show, and then, not actually hoping for much, I tried.

"Wanna fool around later?"

"Maybe," she replied, smiling. A good sign. "You should definitely put the cage on."

Took me completely by surprise. It's only been five days since a pretty solid two and a half week run. This is what I asked for.

That's also not good. She's doing her part, and I'm not. My game plan of no action ... check. Doing that. Unfortunately, that's not something she asked for. Not talking about it all the time, something she needs, I'm failing.

The rest of the evening was amazing. Unbelievably fulfilling, because she is amazing. She knows what to say, and when to say it. She knows what to do, when she puts her mind to it. I laid beside her when it was all over just holding her and breathing her in. That feeling is everything I'm looking to experience, everything that I'm searching for on this 'journey.'

I have to stop talking about it. I have to stop talking about it.I've got to leave it alone...

Took the next step. My first official work day in chastity. As I'm sitting here typing this, I'm hitting twenty-four hours in chastity. I don't think I've ever gone forty-eight. If I did, it was because I didn't have to go to work for three days, but still, I don't think I have. And certainly not with so much completely unsexy time. That was brutal. One hour to eat and let my mind wander, and two more fifteen minute breaks to try to do the same thing.

But coming home to her ... embracing her ... kissing her ... knowing the key was on the chain around her neck. Not feeling anxious to have access to it, but rather, feeling embraced by it being there. That's another feeling I'm searching for. I don't think it's a feeling of control, and definitely not ownership. I know I'm submissive, and I know I get off on her taking control. But that feeling, it's not that.

Maybe it is; just a ghost of submissive head space wandering up to the front for a few seconds while I'm holding her and thinking about the key.

I hope she doesn't tell me to take the cage off soon.Side note : two weeks have passed since my MMJB order.Second, longer side note : since we are now measuring in months and not weeks, March loses me three extra days over previous eight week journeys. Little bitter. Obviously, given the calendar's arrangement, I'm going to need to get over that.

I am fast approaching, and highly likely to exceed, a full seventy-two hours locked with absolutely no out. As I've mentioned, I think this is the first time.

It's definitely the first time in a real steel cage (cheap amazon; see avatar), and definitely the first time after so long without an orgasm.

...and wow! Twenty-four hours a day is far, far different than even just taking a couple of hours out in the afternoon to run some errands. I had no idea. Seriously, no idea. I used to go 8PM to 6AM, for days in a row, and even though the daylight hours are not even close to sexy time ... wow!

My commute every morning is about an hour and a half, and that's a lot of time to think about my wife. Generally, by about one hour into it, I'm swelling through the confines of the cage, and breathing like I'm having sex, with my head swimming in the same state. I guess, in a way, you could say that I am having sex, since the cage itself is providing so much stimulation, both physically and mentally.

From everything I've read on here about cage length, I feel like this cage should be too long. What I'm experiencing though, is that I'm at the end of it about 95% of the day, so I'm glad that my MMJB order is only a quarter inch shorter than this cage. And I really, really ... really can't wait for that to get here. This cage is awful, and I should not be wearing it twenty-four hours a day. The hinged ring pinches both top and bottom, the spacer is cut wrong so that the cage portion wants to hang to the left and pinch my scrotum between it and the A-ring, and there are three little bumps along each of the top two bars that dig in when I swell. They do add friction to help keep the cage in one place, but they are also causing little tiny bruises that I'll need to let heal (not too bad so far, but I do need to keep an eye on them).

Okay, so the one thing about this experience that I haven't mentioned : I'm loving it. Even with the current difficulties that I hope the MMJB will solve, I'm still in love with the concept. When my wife ordered me into the cage on this past Monday night, she then took me into the bedroom later and made me satisfy her. I'm really, really hoping that tonight, or tomorrow night, she'll do the same without even thinking about the key (likelihood of that is actually quite small, but I can dream...). I don't see any reason that I would have to remove the cage this coming weekend at all, and I'm hoping that she'll come to the same conclusion and leave me in it until at least sometime next week (again, small likelihood).

I cannot, under any circumstances, tell her that at this point. Maybe in a couple of months, if I can be real quiet about what I want, and just let her do what she's going to do, we can have another talk about expectations and I can mention that I want her to be even meaner than the level she's already stepped up to. At this moment in time, though, I have to let it ride, let her do what she's going to do, and for god's sake, stop friggin' analyzing and talking about it.

Yesterday was a good day on that front. Not a single mention from me. And so far today, again, doing well, and determined to repeat that tonight. I will not talk about chastity or orgasm denial. I've made a vow to myself that I will not bring it up in any fashion until the MMJB arrives sometime in mid-May. I need to let her do what she's going to do, and not criticize, analyze, suggest, negotiate, discuss, etc. etc. etc. If I can do that between now and then, I'm relatively certain that she'll be far more receptive to a small conversation about being a little meaner. She is not submissive at all, so she really doesn't get it, and I understand that. I also understand that she's come a long way in a short time, and the best encouragement I can give at this point is to just relax and enjoy it.

I know. I'm getting repetitive, but re-reading this helps me to stay focused.

96 hours. Might have been 97, but it wasn't 100.Kinda messed up a little. She said, "Take it off," after a hug, in the middle of a busy evening. I replied, "I don't want to take it off." I knew she wouldn't be present, and wouldn't be present in that kind of moment anytime soon. I wanted to leave it on until she would be present.

Small tiff, quickly settled. I relented entirely, and apologized immediately, at the first word from her, because she was right. It wasn't my choice.

But midnight would've been 100 hours. I should stop counting, and I want to, but I don't think I can do that at 97. I could easily do that at 104. I'm a little bit OCD. That's my issue to deal with, and I shouldn't make it hers.

On the "stop talking about it" front, I did well over the last two days, and that's getting easier. Practice and patience. After taking it off though, I had to spill a little, cornered her for a minute, and told her about the intensity that I'd experienced during my first real twenty-four hour a day runs. She didn't seem to mind, and gave a celebratory smile when I told her that the cage was "doing her work for her."

If something sexy happens later tonight, I probably won't tell you about it. Sorry. I think this should be about the chastity.

Wow ... something very sexy did happen after my last post, on the 7th. My wife and I had a lot of fun later that evening ... and I was not permitted an orgasm, as I expected.

Saturday was a fairly normal day, with no activity either on the chastity or teasing fronts.

And then Sunday, my wife woke up with a nasty head cold that's kept us apart. She doesn't want to cuddle at all, so I'm feeling very ... I want to say neglected, but that's not the right word. I'm missing the cuddling far more than the teasing. I'm glad I'm not in the cage right now, as it does make the lack of intimate contact of any kind more bearable.

The difference is that usually when she's sick, I feel resentful. I expect her to muscle up and get through it, along with all the other stuff she does. Right now, though, this time, I'm giving her everything I can. Letting her sleep in every morning while I get the kids ready for school, picking up the kids even when it's her turn ... and I don't feel resentful about it at all.

I'm kind of wondering if I can hold on to this after I do have an orgasm. I really should. I almost feel sometimes like I've been a terrible husband in the past. I know I haven't. I know I'm very helpful. I just feel like maybe I should've been more helpful, could've been more helpful.

Well, I'm sure she'll be back to normal in a few days, and things will resume. I really just want to spend an evening holding her sometime soon. I don't even care if she touches it; I just want her to touch me.

Very surprised last night. She was feeling much better. I thought she'd take another day or two to fully recover, but around eight, as the kids were getting ready for bed, she ordered me into the cage.

We then enjoyed an evening on the couch with lots of cuddling, and then laid down together for more cuddling to sleep. Really made up for the connection that I was missing so badly.

Amazing that in this state of mind, I wanted the cuddling and holding and touching far more than any kind of sexual attention.

And now I'm locked in this terrible cage again ... about halfway through my wait for the MMJB.