That’s the problem. Here in America, when it comes to the English, we mistake accent with intellect. Right? We think they’re all smart, because no matter what they’re talking about they sound quite intelligent. It doesn’t really matter, you could be told about anything, be like, “My belly button is quite itchy.” And we’ll be like, “That dude is smart.”

But They’re not all smart, OK? They just sound smart. They look dumb with their crooked teeth and their whacky hair. You go to England, some of those English men have en elephant-man look about them like, “I know I look a bit frightning, but.. At least I sound intelligent.”And the English, the English have a weired things with the letter T, because sometimes they over pronunciate the letter like That, and sometimes they ignore the letter completely. It’s like, “What happened? Where did the letters go? And there are two Ts in the word letter and yet they’re nowhere to be found. It’s quite odd, right? No, no. I understand that there’s like one T, you just missed it, you know, that’s fine, whatever. Whatever, one T gone, fine. When there’re two Ts, you just skip over them like, that’s rude.

It’s like the letters don’t even matter. The English and the Ts: they spend half their day drinking teas and the other half ignoring them. But, every accent, every accent has a weired relationship with one letter. Like the Russian accent. The Russians, they take the letter Y and put it between every other letter. Take any sentence, like “This traffic is unbelievable”. They would say,“This traffic is unbelievable! I cannot belive it! We’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes!” The Israeli accent it’s letter, it’s letter M. They take M, but not between every other letters, between every other word, T am going m to m get m...”

“What do you want, a bag of M&Ms? What hell are you talking about?!”

And, of course, and of course we have the German accent, which is just music to my ears. I.. Yeah.. They’re crazy with the letter Z. They’re crazy with the Zs.In fact, I ran into a German guy this afternoon, he looking at me funny. He was staring at me like, “Aren't you the guy that I saw this morning at the Coffee House?And I was like,”“How do I get at this? Mmm, I’m terribly sorry, but this must be a case of mistaken identity.”