Nov 15 The Assassin's Guild

While at Oxford I was briefly part of the infamous Assassin's Guild. It is basically a club where everyone signs up to be part of games. While the format differed between each game they would typically last about two weeks and everyone would receive a list of targets by email. You had to assassinate (ahem. *dehume. The Assassin's Guild was keen on using the vocabulary of Terry Pratchett’s Assassin's Guild in Discworld) your targets your targets by a variety of techniques. Common methods were to use a cardboard knife with knife written very clearly on the side and say “stab” as you did it, or to use a nerfgun. The nerf Maverick was particularly popular because it was small and cheap.

However points were given for flair and the best of them became infamous at the University even outside of the Guild. The stories of someone carving out a big block of polystyrene into the shape of a fridge and dropping it on someone, or of people sending envelopes of talcum powder with little notes saying “anthrax” became legendary.

Some games were in a last person standing way, where each assassin had the name of one other assassin. If you killed your target you inherited theirs (it was arranged in a loop, see this article for the maths of that happening randomly) until one person remained. You were given their name and their college, which was usually enough to Facebook stalk them. Then you would hunt them down; maybe you knew someone doing the same course who could let you into the lectures where they were going to be in, or perhaps you knew someone at their college who would know the codes to the keypads on their staircase (halls of residence).

I remember waiting through an entire lecture sitting a few rows behind one of my targets waiting for them to get up and leave. Following closely behind I stabbed him as he left the hall. There were strict codes of conduct within the Guild that actual places of learning were out of bounds. Similarly no force was allowed; you weren't allowed to barge open a door which someone was trying to hold shut for instance.

Many of the games would be points based and the aim was to get as many kills as possible within two weeks. There were extra points for flourishes; everyone loved the flamboyant touches. In the spirit of a FPS, these games would have a respawn delay of 12 hours or so.

My group of friends was part of it for about two terms during our final year of university. As a game would start, my main memory of it was just paranoia; I would always have my cardboard knife tucked into my shoe ready to go. And having perhaps five assassins sitting around the kitchen table together meant that everyone had their nerfguns within arm’s reach.