Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I heard you crying loud, all the way across town You've been searching for that someone, and it's me out on the prowl As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself Well, don't get lonely now And dry your whining eyes I'm just roaming for the moment Sleazin' my back yard so don't get so uptight you been thinking about ditching me

No time to search the world around Cause you know where I'll be found When I come around

I heard it all before So don't knock down my door I'm a loser and a user so I don't need no accuser to try and slag me down because I know you're right So go do what you like Make sure you do it wise You may find out that your self-doubt means nothing was ever there

You can't go forcing something if it's just not right

somehow,my situation with my honeybunch yesterday evening kind of resemble this song in a way.as a matter of fact,it resembles our whole relationship right from the very start to this very day.however,this song is more to his side of the story rather than mine.of course,i've been in a bunch of relationships and one-sided crushes before,and believe you me,i did not intend to make him a rebound,seriously.he came out of the blue,when i kept denying that we felt nothing for each other during our first few months of friendship.'it' started to come along 6 months later.i tried shoving him away thousands of times but just like a stubborn magnet,he keeps coming back into my life in one way or another.i guess it's fate people,that's why you call it falling in love.it happens by accident,when you least expect it.who would've known what should actually be nothing more than a fellow club member friendship could go this far within months?it's a miracle really.i don't usually give guys such an opportunity to begin with.take note,i'm a hard nut to crack and you're gonna have to be very amazing to be able to steal my heart and drive me crazy at the same time.

nevertheless,my boyfriend isn't the only thing i'm in love with.have i mentioned the name Afi before in this blog?wait don't answer,i'm damn sure i have,in fact i'm so sure that i'm daring enough to bet you all the money in my bank accounts if you can't find Afi's name in my blog.so i'm glad the betting thing is just a metaphore.before you get too excited,Afi is NOT a scandal.he's my guitar :) i've had him since i was 15,and ever since that my musical life took a big step forward.yes,you've guessed it,i'm in love with my music.i write punk rock/pop punk music.for the timing,i plan to write songs and search for a vocalist.having a conversation with my sweetpie yesterday evening during dinner gave him the idea of me recruiting him into my musical team.the question is,when such situation surfaces,it's a tough choice between the love of my life and my life-long dream.what would it be?sure,some may say it's easier to work with someone we love who loves us back rather than working with a friend or some random but talented stranger,however another question comes up,what if the hearty feelings interfere with the artistic side altogether?wouldn't that be a bummer?professionalism would be much simpler without any emotions getting involved.don't get me started on Mizz Nina and Noh Hujan,they may be a couple but they commit to their passion.as for me,i have pledged to myself that my bandmates should not be someone i have feelings for,it will NOT work out especially if the band faces crisis.wouldn't that take our personal relationship downhill?some people can never set apart the issues relating to the heart and professions and i admit that i am among them.whether he likes it or not,i'm going to have to say no,so as to benefit the both of us in the long run.it's tough,but i have no other options.i want both to work out,so sacrifices are bound to be made.

by the way,any musicians out there whom are willing to cooperate with me in my online band project?my offer stands for drummers,vocalists and bassists.lead guitarists,if any are interested,are welcomed to join in too.let's make some music people :)