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There's no doubt that building a strong relationship and making a connection with a buyer is essential to winning new business. After all, when selling services people do business with people they like.

But building rapport is not as easy as showing up and asking the prospect about his weekend or the weather. Some prospects you'll connect with right away, while others may be more shielded take more time to warm up to new relationships.

Regardless, rapport is a delicate thing that if not attended to early on, can kill your chances of ever making the sale. If you want to build rapport and give yourself a chance at winning the sale, you must avoid these five rapport killers.

1. Don't do your research. The fastest way to kill rapport and trust is to go into any meeting cold. With all the information available online these days—on company websites, in Hoovers, on LinkedIn and other social media sites—it's unacceptable to not know what's going on in the prospect's company and in their industry.

Do research on whom you're speaking with as well. Weave your research into the conversation. For example, "I saw you attended Tuck School of Business. My husband went there. Do you know Professor Smith?" Or, "I was reading about the merger on your website. How are the two leadership teams meshing together?"

2. Let the prospect take control of the meeting. Does this ever happen? You show up to the meeting, exchange pleasantries, and the prospect jumps and says, "OK, here's what I want to know from you." In turn, you start responding to their questions one by one. At this point you've lost control of the meeting.

Prospects want to work with trusted advisors who will take the lead and facilitate meetings. Take control of the meeting and kick it off with an agenda. Let the prospect know that you'd, "like to cover ABC and are hoping to get XYZ out of the meeting." Then ask the prospect if there's anything they'd like to add. This will go a long way toward building rapport by showing that you're someone who has a plan and will take the lead.

3. Present the "dog and pony show". One way to kill rapport fast is to show up to the meeting, set up the laptop, and walk the prospect through your capabilities presentation. While there is a time and place for you to advocate for your solution and share success you've achieved, it's usually not the first thing you want to cover in the first meeting.

We all like to talk about ourselves, but when you do all of the talking (especially early on in the relationship-building process), you leave little time for the prospect to tell his story. If you lead with your capabilities pitch, you're sure to leave the audience yawning, checking their Blackberry's, and checked-out of your meeting (and the relationship).

4.Ask stock questions. You know the ones I'm talking about:

What keeps you up at night? How are you currently dealing with XYZ? Oh, you have a trout hanging on your wall, do you fish?

These are the same questions every consultant asks in their sales meetings. If you want to sound like everyone else, go ahead and ask them. If you want to build rapport, ask quality questions specific to the company, industry, and person you're speaking with. Ask questions they may not have thought of. Seek to truly understand the prospect’s situation to determine if you are even the right person to help.

5. Don't meet your commitments.Trust and rapport is built overtime as you consistently meet your commitments. If you want to kill rapport, tell the prospect you'll send him a proposal on Tuesday and then send it on Thursday, show up to your meeting 10 minutes late, and be sure not to include anything about the prospect and their situation in the proposal. (Don't laugh; these things happen, and they happen more often than you think.)

When it comes to building rapport there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Each buyer has their own unique personality, work style, and preferences that influence how they like to buy and how they connect with sellers.

While how to connect with different buyers is the topic of a different post (check out the 8 buyer personas), if you avoid these five rapport killers, you'll be well on your way to making strong connections with buyers starting with the first meeting.

About Erica Stritch

Erica Stritch is Vice President of RAIN Group, a sales training, sales assessment, and sales performance improvement company that helps leading organizations improve sales results. Erica leads strategy and execution for all aspects of marketing, lead generation, online sales training, and online sales… more