Don’t Take My Word For It

As part of our “What I wish I knew in my thirties” series, Danielle Fluer shares with us her life lessons about being an individual, changing careers and breaking the rules. Danielle has lived many lives and now shares her words of wisdom with us 30 something gals.

Danielle Fluer breaking all the rules

Written by Danielle Fluer (proudly 59)

Well, where to begin…

I started my career in journalistic research at 18. At 21, I was poached by a young sports photographer, who was looking to start a sports photographic library, specialising in Golf. I had no particular interest in sport, however at 21 years old, my passion was to travel. Wanting to see the world was my big thing. This job would give me the chance to travel, so I took it. After 14 years and due to unforeseen circumstances, (a blog in itself), I left the company and took a year off, volunteering on conservation projects and of course traveling. I then decided to make a complete change and worked in the Fine Arts Industry.It was interesting but not a world I wished to remain in, so……onto the next thing.

As a teenager I had thought about becoming a nurse. So I finally decided to find something in the area of health and well-being. I had been practicing Pilates for several years to help with my own back issues, partly brought on by carrying heavy camera equipment.

So, after training for a year, I became a Pilates Foundation Teacher. Do not think that all these decisions were made lightly. Was I scared? – you bet. I had not studied for anything since leaving school at 18. I had to stop myself from throwing up before my exams, I was so nervous. However,I have now been teaching for 10 years…..and I still love it.

There is no better incentive and reward than helping someone in pain to feel better.

So Here We Go Ladies……

1. I absolutely loved my 30’s, you lucky ladies. By 30 I had finally learned to feel comfortable in my own skin and to at least try to forgive my imperfections. Yes, ladies we are all far too self-critical.

Your 30’s are when you are all in full bloom so enjoy them.

2. Don’t’ over concern yourself with what others think of you. What matters is that you are always compassionate of others. If you make a mistake, then that is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself. Take it on board, digest t, understand it and then forgive yourself and try to do better next time.

You have to learn to forgive yourself in order to learn how to forgive others.

Sometimes what we perceive as our imperfections are what makes us unique.

3. Never forget, it’s not all about you. So don’t take everything personally. Most people’s behaviour is never about you – it’s about them. Remember that, so when people don’t behave as you would wish, don’t get upset, try instead to understand and find a way to reach their ‘I want to be loved’ spot. My Mum taught me that and it’s turned out to be very useful.

Danielle and her mother Blanchette Fluer

4. Do not bend to be able to run with the crowd. The crowd may be running over a cliff.

5. Don’t be too concerned about breaking the rules. As long as you are not doing anything physically dangerous and no one is harmed by your actions, give it a go. Rule breaking is so often what brings out the magic in life.

Is Danielle on a mission to break the next rule?

6. Every age is so precious. Try to learn something new, challenge yourselves. The years run by so fast. Don’t waste them. Don’t be scared of failure. That’s how we learn new skills.

7. Sometimes even when it’s not your fault, words like ‘Sorry I did not mean to upset you’ go a long way to having your point of view heard.

AND FINALLY

There were Rules to this blog and yes………I broke them……

My biog was too long and I have certainly written more than one piece of advice. However, I am a rule breaker and to navigate these challenging times, I feel us women need as much advice as possible.

It is said that the 20th Century will be the Century of Women’s Empowerment.

Well Ladies About Bloody Time!

So Remember: You know more than you think you know!

There is a ripple to everything we do, so every individual counts, every individual act counts. Each and every one of us really can make a difference.