Category: Life + stuff

Hi everyone! As you might know, I’ve been busy with school lately, hence the many school-related posts. I was busy over the winter holidays for mocks in January, and I’ve also been spending quite a bit of time in general looking around study blogs like studyblr, Youtube, and such. I’m here today with a discussion post on whether study blogs actually help.

Firstly, I have to say that I just love looking at pretty aesthetic things. (SORRY BUT I DO.) It makes me SO happy to watch videos of people making pretty bullet journals or pictures of cute revision notes. These fill my with an intense, inexplicable joy, and they also make me go ‘Wow, I really want to make something as pretty as this!’ So I find it a lot of fun looking at those.

But does appearance translate into any real life effects? Personally I’ve found it pretty difficult to replicate what I see online. Sometimes if I get so focused on trying to make something beautiful that I’m less concentrated on learning the actual content. This probably isn’t helped by the fact that I’m not actually very artistic so I just. Can’t. I CAN’T.

I do find study blogs motivating. They make we want to go out into the world and do all the productive things. However, I think that’s only true up to a point, because productivity and schoolwork are NOT the only things that matter. Personally, I’m a motivated person anyway; in fact, I think that sometimes I make myself feel worse by trying to do too much work.

Recently my mental health hasn’t been great, and I think that part of that is due to a constant feeling, made worse by looking at all these blogs, that I’m not working hard enough, not being productive enough, not making the most efficient… Hell, I even feel bad for not RELAXING enough. Which is ridiculous, right? But although this ableist idea that productivity equals worth might have negative effects on me, it hurts disabled people way more. (Thank you @StealthClock for tweeting this thread on the topic back in January.)

Even self-care gets turned into a chore, something that I have to complete, which, well, it just kind of sucks. So although I like looking at pretty pictures and working my bullet journal, it’s not always good — and I think it’s important to approach these blogs with caution.

Finding useful revision resources is really cool, and some resources have absolutely changed the way I work, but searching for them can also just be a way of adding to my procrastination. Sometimes just doing some questions from the textbook is the way to go, you know? Another thing is that I find it can be quite hard to find specific resources for what you’re looking for. I don’t see that any GCSE things and also there are sooo many different exam boards with slightly different courses. IT’S SO FRUSTRATING. Also, my school is really extra and my year is doing some really weird things like Maths iGCSE? Why are we doing iGCSE? Does anyone know?? I’m pretty sure the younger years are doing something else.

So, overall, although I think study blogs can be really helpful, they should be used with moderation and caution. I feel like I’m just repeating all the stuff that adults complain about, the internet doesn’t show an exact representation of real life.

what do you think of study blogs? do you use them? how are you today?

By the way, I’m planning to post my Q&A next week so if you have any more questions then do let me know! They can be on anything (books, school, LGBTQ+ stuff etc.) as long as they’re respectful and not weird. 🙂

Hi everyone! Today I’m sharing with you my favourite resources for revising GCSE Science. As you might know I’ve had mocks recently — I’m just coming to the end of them — and I thought it would be useful to share what I use to revise so that you can all use them if you still have exams ahead of you. I’ll be covering resources from the exam board, videos, other websites and books.

I take AQA triple science, so whilst what I find is targeted at that course, it definitely applies to other courses and also to general science revision anyway. 🙂 Almost all of these are free except for the books at the end.

exam board resources

Specifications (Biology, Chemistry, Physics) Firstly I’d very strongly urge you to get a copy of the spec which is free to download from your exam board. I base all my revision off this as it tells you exactly, point-by-point, what you need to know. If you take only one point from this post it’s that you should LOOK AT THE SPEC.

Required practicals (Biology, Chemistry, Physics) These will give you the exact methods AQA want you to know for every single practical. Especially useful if you can’t quite remember doing it or don’t have class notes.

Scheme of work (Biology, Chemistry, Physics) This goes into further detail on the spec points and — what I find most useful — provides links to other websites where you can learn about the topic. I’m only annoyed I didn’t know about these earlier!

Science skills There are a lot of questions in the exam on experimental procedure so don’t forget to revise that.

videos

There are MANY, MANY informative videos out there on the web. These range from videos directed specifically at GCSE science courses to general informative videos. The ones here are some of the ones I’ve found useful.

My GCSE ScienceThis is one of my personal favourites. It clearly explains topics with a voiceover and illustrative diagrams. In particular I love their Physics video on the motor and generator effect; I found that topic hard to get my head around and it absolutely SAVED ME. However, their videos do NOT cover all the course content, particularly triple and higher content; they only publish a selection of videos as the rest are available on their website as a paid-for subscription. Also, this might be inaccessible to some people as a lot of the videos need both the diagrams and voiceover to understand. They have videos for AQA, Edexcel and OCR.

Freesciencelessons My other favourite channel! What I love about these videos is that they are very well organised and follow the spec extremely closely so you know that you’re getting everything you need. He hasn’t yet covered every topic, but I believe they’ll be done in time for GCSEs. In particular I like the Required Practical videos. Although these videos do have diagrams, they’re not necessary for all topics; most of content is in the voiceover and text on screen.

Science With Hazel I haven’t watched loads of these; personally I found the one I watched didn’t cover the topic I wanted in enough detail. However, she does provide recaps of the whole specification for each science for both AQA and Edexcel iGCSE which may be useful to you.

Revising Science Another GCSE recap channel similar to Freesciencelessons, with very very short and condensed videos.

Fallibroome Required PracticalsVideos are a great way to remind yourself of required practicals if you want to actually watch someone doing them rather than simply hear an explanation. I like that these not only show you a clear method but also explain potential errors and how you might improve the experiment (which you will be tested on!).

Crash Course (Biology, Chemistry, Physics) These videos are NOT directed at GCSE students and generally provide more detail than you need, but are useful to help explain stuff anyway. I recommend you search for particular topic videos if you need them such as this Physics one on sound.

BBC Bitesize (Biology, Chemistry,Physics) Ah, the saviour of students everywhere! I love BBC Bitesize; it provides easy-to-follow explanations with diagrams and covers a wide variety of topics. But it’s a general resource for all GCSE students and not targeted towards an exam board so approach with some caution. There may be some topics which aren’t on there as well as some additional topics not in your exam, and it might not cover exactly what you have to learn in the right words.

Chem Collective virtual lab and notes A virtual lab for if you want to practice your practicals which also provides notes and practice questions for some topics. (Though again, not specific to GCSE.)

Passmyexams.co.ukThis website contains notes on almost all of the topics. However, I haven’t used it massively myself and although it is for GCSE, it’s not targeted towards a particular exam board so again I would approach it with some caution.

Spolem Biology quizzes This website provides great interactive Biology quizzes to test your knowledge. It also has links to Biology and Chemistry resources such as online notes and videos, but these are directed towards the Edexcel iGCSE.

Compound Chem infographics Beautiful infographics which you can stick up around your room to remind you of Chemistry, or use as a model to make your own. I use their ones for properties of Group 1 and Group 7.

Quizlet I love Quizlet SO MUCH. In terms of science I find it particularly useful for Biology as it’s very content-heavy. (You can find my Biology quizlets here.) Although you can of course make your own, there are many excellent sets already created for GCSE Science so do have a search. I normally find a set, copy it, and then go through and edit with my own notes to ensure it measures up with a spec, changing anything I need.

books

AQA textbooks (Biology,Chemistry, Physics) We were issued these at the start of our GCSE — I don’t know if everyone does, all the people I know do have one but if you don’t for whatever reason I would HIGHLY recommend it. It covers everything in the spec and also has some great exam questions for revision practice.

CGP revision guides (Biology, Chemistry,Physics) Our school sells these to us at a cheaper price. I know many students use the revision guides to do almost all their revision so they’re worth a look, but remember that they do NOT substitute for your own notes or the official specification. I generally only use CGP if I can’t get what I need from the textbook, or as a last-minute summary. These are available for AQA, Edexcel, OCR, and a limited range for iGCSE.

CGP exam practice workbook and practice papers (Biology, Chemistry, Physics) The workbook has more exam-style questions if you want them. I haven’t yet tried the practice papers but I’m sure they’ll be useful, especially as we are the first year of this GCSE so there aren’t any past papers for our specification. The exam practice workbooks are available for AQA, Edexcel and OCR but the practice papers are only available for AQA.

I hope you find this post useful for learning and revising science; I had a lot of fun making this and I’d love to hear any feedback you have. 🙂 Please let me know if any of the links don’t work. I wish you good luck with your studies!

It’s that time again when everyone posts their yearly round-ups… That’s right folks, I am here with yet ANOTHER new year themed post! And slightly late! Oh well. 2017 has been a weird one for me. Even Photoshop was being weird whilst I was trying to make this picture, so clearly it agrees.

Looking back at 2017

To begin with, I want to recap my goals from 2016… Firstly, I think I’ve definitely succeeded at doing more LGBTQ+ related things! I can see this concretely in that: I attended my first ever Pride parade, starting going to school LGBTQ+ society, and generally just felt a lot more positive in my queer identity. 2016 was a year of discovering myself, and I feel that 2017 has been me actually kind of living that. I mean, I still have a LOT of stuff going on (especially re: my gender which is CONFUSING) but, yeah. I’m so happy about this.

Secondly, I feel that I have made some strides forward in making positive changes in the world. This year the podcasts Witch Please and Secret Feminist Agenda were SUPER important to me; I really do feel that they have given me hope and inspired me to strive to be a better person and ally. I also continued with my Action for Change project on LGBTQ+ history which I enjoyed a lot. 🙂 I still have a long way to go (I mean it’s kind of an eternal process) in being a good ally but I hope that I’ve educated myself more this year.

In terms of self-care and mental health, this year has been pretty rocky. To be frank, I’ve experienced some of my biggest lows ever in 2017. I’ve had several breakdowns and even this holiday I’ve been feeling very sad. I’ve tried to take care of myself, but I want to do this even more going forward in 2017.

Blogging has also been patchy. Year 11 has been hitting me harder than I’d thought, leading to me taking a hiatus, and I also haven’t been great at commenting. But you know what? That’s okay. Sometimes we don’t achieve our goals, because things change, and it doesn’t make us terrible people.

However! I have consumed some WONDERFUL art this year: I’ve continued to read many great books, got way more into podcasts, also got into comics, and of course kept listening to rad music. I am so grateful for all this art because, honestly…it keeps me going. I need art so much.

Looking forward to 2018

I want to do things with love. I don’t want to do some crappy ‘love saves everything’ thing because that’s just wrong, but personally I want to bring more love and care into my life. By this I mean: bringing a sense of love to caring for myself, putting in time and effort in my relationships, criticising things I love because I love them and not in spite of it.

Further elaborating on the theme of self care, I want to look after myself better. The next year is going to be hard and I need to practise self care ESPECIALLY when I feel bad to stop me spiralling into terribleness. I’ve designated specific phone-free times because constantly scrolling through social media does not really help me. But at the same time I don’t want self care to be a chore, so. UGH it’s hard!

I want to keep enjoying art! I’m super excited to be able to experience new things in 2018 — I’m seeing both Hamilton and the Cursed Child which I am EXTREMELY excited and grateful for. I hope to read some wonderful books — I am currently very excited for Alice Oseman’s book 3, hopefully out in spring — as well as comics, movies, podcasts, music, TV and so on. This also includes making my own art, which has rather been put to the back burner due to school & mental health, but nevertheless I hope to continue with it.

I want to make new friends & meet old ones. I hope to be attending YA Shot and YALC in 2018 and I want to meet up with bookish friends! I’d also love to make some new friends, and if possible meet some internet friends in real life because I think that’d be super cool. 🙂

This one is rather vague, but I want to experience new things. I have a lot of ~new and exciting~ things coming up in the future, like going to sixth form, big exams, prom, a bunch of people leaving school, my trip to Ecuador with Guides (!!), turning 17… It’s gonna be a WILD TIME, y’all.

wow that was a deep dive into my brain! how was your 2017? do you have any goals for 2018?

Hey everyone! Recently I’ve been quite into bullet journaling so I thought I’d talk about how my journal works and how it helps me.

I started journaling earlier this year, but that was in a blank page notebook so I found it more difficult to do some stuff! Mostly it was to do-lists, which is still what I use my journal for on a day-to-day basis, but I do have some other spreads I like to do as well. (Spreads is such a bullet journal buzzword haha, I have been watching too many videos.)

OKAY. Let’s get started. My current notebook is a Muji notebook that I got for my birthday in September; unlike my previous notebook it has the classic bullet journal dots which I find VERY useful. I started out with a key – which I admit has changed a little since some of my pens started running out – and then we have contents for important pages and a year plan. I didn’t use the year plan as it was too small so in 2018 I’m hoping to try something different like maybe a page for each month? I DON’T KNOW. But my 2017 Hamilton calendar is finally running out so I need to get something else.

At the start of every month I create a month page, which basically just has stuff that I track which is usually meditation and my Spanish vocab. Recently I’ve also added money which I’m liking so far as I sometimes forget how much money I’ve spent and then don’t know whether I can buy something.

At the start of the week I put a little thing to track my music practice. (Which I actually forgot to take a picture of, oops.) My style of writing the days has changed a bit, especially since my first bullet journal, but my daily lists have remained essentially the same; I just write the day and jot down all my lists using the colour categories. Sometimes I add subtasks for big things I have to do such as multi-part homeworks.

More recently I’ve started using stickers and washi tape to decorate and make a little scrapbook page for each month with photos. I have a bunch of craft stuff lying around my house from when I was younger and I thought it would be good to make use of it. 🙂 I always feel sad that I don’t have physical printouts of photos as I enjoy looking at old photos of my parents, so I thought it would be nice to look back on in the future!

I just LOVE looking at videos of people’s bullet journals and stationery. I can’t overstate how much joy it brings me. Whenever I want to add a new feature or change up a style, I just go online and copy something from someone else, for example the banner I did for my half term to-do list. (I like arty things. But I am not very good at, like, NEAT arty things. Or really any neat drawing. Thus: I prefer to use something else as a reference.)

PLUS, I bought some of these super cute cat page markers which I love so much! I just adore anything related to cats, to be honest.

I find that my bullet journal really helps me to organise my thoughts and what I have to do – which is usually a lot of things – and I find it relaxing to make pretty scrapbook-like pages. 🙂

do you have a bullet journal? or would you like to start one? do you like stationery as much as i do??

Hey everyone! I’m so excited to write this post because I ADORE Christmas food. Today I’m going to pit against each other the foods that my family and I eat around Christmas and December to find the ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS DINNER PLATE. However, first I would like to credit the Wonderful! podcast by Griffin and Rachel McElroy, because this format is very heavily inspired by their Thanksgiving food episode. (And what a fun episode it was.)

So ‘how is this going to work??’ I hear you ask. Well, I’m going to be organising the foods I normally eat at Christmas dinner (or have eaten at some point in time) into their various categories and picking a winner from each to give me my final ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS DINNER PLATE. Let’s get started!

centrepiece

turkey v fish

(Listen, I didn’t know what to call this section.) If my vegetarian cousins come over then we have fish as well, but although I do try to not eat meat… I have to go with turkey here. It’s just such a classic Christmas thing for me and it is also EXCELLENT as leftovers. (But I love fish too.)

WINNER: TURKEY

sides

sausages v roast potatoes v stuffing v bacon

Okay, this is SO DIFFICULT for me. I like sausages, but I do eat them at other times so…sorry, they’re going. Roast potatoes are one of my favourite foods ever and I can’t imagine a Christmas meal without them — plus they’re great for leftovers. However, I can’t eat stuffing at any other time and both sausage and parsely stuffing are so tasty. I love the bacon that we put on the turkey because it’s just! So good and crispy! (It’s one of the first things to run out at Christmas dinner.) UGH. But I just love crispy roasties so much that it’s going to have to be potatoes.

WINNER: ROAST POTATOES

veggies

carrots v parsnips v turnips v sprouts v sweet potatoes

I mean, vegetables are cool and all, but I thought they would get obliterated in the sides category, so. Carrots are such a good option as lots of people like them and they go well with everything, as are parsnips and turnips (which I can’t really tell apart, oops). Sprouts are not my favourite vegetable ever, but they’re so good when cooked well and absolutely ICONIC as a Christmas food. Sweet potatoes are also a solid choice, but I do eat them at other times. It’s a close one for me, sprouts are such an important part of my Christmas meal but at the end of the day I would prefer to actually eat carrots.

WINNER: CARROTS

sauces

bread sauce v apple sauce v cranberry sauce

I never really have bread sauce so that can go immediately, oops. I do love both apple and cranberry sauce, hmm…. But I think that cranberry sauce makes the best leftover turkey sandwich.

WINNER: CRANBERRY SAUCE

desserts

christmas pudding v christmas cake v yule log

Anyone who has talked to me about Christmas foods can probably guess what I’m picking here, and that’s christmas pudding. The others are good too but dude, Christmas pudding. I love making it every year with my grandma, I love when you get to set it on fire (!), I love finding charms in your slice. Also it just TASTES SO GOOD. Especially with rum butter.

WINNER: CHRISTMAS PUDDING

wild card

pigs in blankets v mince pies v bacon sandwich

This section is just the stuff that wouldn’t go anywhere else, haha. Pigs in blankets are great as party food, a bacon sarnie is a such traditional breakfast Christmas food for my family but I just love mince pies too much to let them go.

WINNER: MINCE PIES

That leaves my ultimate Christmas plate as: turkey, roast potatoes, carrots, cranberry sauce, Christmas pudding, and mince pies as a wild card. I’m very happy with that! I hope you enjoyed this post, and that even if you don’t celebrate Christmas you’re having a good December. (It is VERY COLD where I am at the moment, brr.)

do you have a favourite food for a particular celebration? how is your month going?

Hey everyone. So…you might have noticed that I haven’t been posting much lately. (Or maybe not. I don’t know.) I haven’t written a post for today. I wanted to, but I just didn’t get the time. I don’t know when I’m going to have the time. Hopefully this weekend, but I’ll see.

It’s pretty frustrating for me to have to do this again, since keeping up a regular blog is something I’m really proud of. It doesn’t make me feel good to watch my stats go down whenever I don’t post. To my brain, my productivity is so tied up with my self worth, which means that when I stop being productive I feel worthless. Which is a REALLY crappy way of thinking, and also harms others.

Anyway. So. I’m trying to say: it’s okay for me to not do this. I don’t have the time or the energy right now. School is really taking it out of me, frankly; I thought I wasn’t getting as much work but I’m kind of exhausted every day which suggests otherwise.

Yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown which was probably a combination of hormones and like…other stuff mounting up. Anyway, we had a discussion about sex in biology which was basically just only about cis people and making out that chromosomes = gender. And it sucked to see my teacher do that because like, I respect her? I dunno. I’m kind of terrified that everyone will always see me as a girl because of all my Guides stuff, even though I’d like to quit it soon, but I can’t because I’d have to explain to my parents and yeah. UGHH it’s all so confusing and I am just kind of hating my body right now.

ANYWAY. As I said: I hope to write more posts soon but I don’t want to promise stuff. However! I’ve currently been enjoying some great media, like:

Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie McLemore Aahthis was one of my most anticipated books this year and I love it so far aah!! It’s so beautiful and great! And also the book itself is so beautiful! I’d recommend it SO HIGHLY.

Wonderful! podcast I really enjoy listening to this as I get ready for bed in the evening… I’ve learnt some excellent trivia and also the hosts Rachel and Griffin McElroy are super cute together. It’s just, dare I say it — wonderful?

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text podcast I think Witch, Please has set the Harry Potter podcast barrier so high for me that nothing will quite achieve its greatness, but this seems super interesting so far.

Lumberjanes I am super behind in reading this comic but, hi, I still love it? Mal is my inspiration in life? When can I get her haircut?

Friends, I hope you’re well, and if not please do talk to me, and know that I am supporting you. If you fancy sending me cute cat pictures/hugs/positive queer media recs then I’d really appreciate that right now. See you soon. ❤

Hey everyone! I’m doing a slightly different #eveestudies post today — a tag! I was tagged for this by nevillegirl @ Musings From Neville’s Navel (thanks so much for tagging me) and I thought it looked fun, so here goes. The original tag is by studyign on Youtube, which is a channel I love. You can find the original tag here.

How long does it take you to get to school?

I’m very lucky; it only takes me about 10 minutes to walk to school each day. (Or a bit less if I’m walking very fast. But usually more, because chatting slows me down haha.) If my friends are doing early morning activities, then I use this time to listen to a podcast or music.

What do you like to eat for lunch?

It depends on the meals in my school canteen, which vary from week to week, but I often get soup, stir fry, or fish and chips on Friday. (Fish and chips is my favourite meal, I have to say.) Although the spring rolls are also.) If I have a club then I’ll bring in some pasta or a quiche from home.

What classes are you taking?

I still don’t exactly understand the concept of classes vs subjects, oops (are they even different??) but I’m taking English, Maths, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Spanish, History and Music. I feel like I maybe shouldn’t capitalise all of those but…oh well. They’re capitalised in my homework diary. I SHALL CAPITALISE THEM ANYTHING.

What’s your favorite subject?

Hmm, the subjects I most look forward to are Music, Chemistry, and Spanish but those aren’t necessarily my favourite subjects. (For instance: I enjoy Chemistry a lot more this year because I’m in a class with my friends and I have a great teacher. I also look forward to Latin because I have a great teacher and we eat biscuits during our double lessons.) I don’t actually know! Maybe Spanish. But I like a lot of different subjects for different reasons.

What’s your least favorite subject?

…Does PE count? Okay, excluding PE: I feel a bit bad saying this, but probably English or Maths. It really does depend on my mood and the subject we’re covering; sometimes we’ll have a great discussion in English, but sometimes I’ll find myself unable to concentrate at all. Or if we’re doing something I find really difficult in Maths (equations with trig identities oh gosh) then I will very much dread it. I’m also not a massive fan of Physics. I mean, SOMETIMES. Again, it depends on the topic.

What grade are you in?

I’m in Year 11! So I have this year & another two until I leave school. (If I go to sixth form/college. I do think I will but, you never know.)

What time do you get out of school?

We get out of school at 3:45, except for Thursdays when it’s 3:30. I don’t usually leave then though because I have to go back and pack my bag & wait for friends in the the classroom and such.

What do you like to wear to school?

I still have to wear uniform, haha, which is a grey pair of trousers trousers/skirt and white shirt. Right now I wear trousers most often because they make me feel most comfortable, but sometimes I do wear a skirt.

How early do you have to wake up for school?

I wake up at 7am. I could wake up later, considering my proximity, but I like to have time for my morning routine, which includes reading for 20 minutes haha. Also, I wake up around 7:30 on weekends anyway, so it’s not a big stretch for me. (I am not a person with “average teenage sleeping habits” or whatever.) I think it’s really important to build in time to just read because otherwise I’d never get any done, and it’s a good opportunity to relax & cuddle my cats!

What’s your favorite item in your backpack?

Either my pencil case or my keyrings. I actually just got a new pencil case — though it’s the same model as before, just a different colour — and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. It has two pockets so I can fit in all my copious stationery, yay! I also have a sheep keyring and an elephant keyring which I’ve had since about year 7 and I’m quite attached to them. 🙂 Shoutout to my highland coo.

I’m not tagging anyone directly but if you fancy doing this then please do go ahead! ❤

are you still at school? if so, what is your school routine like? otherwise do you have a daily routine at the moment?

My music has gone through a LOT of evolution. I find it difficult to tell people exactly my favourite music because I LOVE A LOT OF DIFFERENT MUSIC. I just go through…genre phases where I will listen to a ton of one kind of music, and then a few months later move on. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still enjoy some of my old music! I take my favourites with me.

Pre-Music Years

In primary school I didn’t really listen to or take an interest in music. ABBA was actually my favourite band, haha. (Though they are still amazing.) Selections from this era include Love Story by Taylor Swift and Replay by Iyaz, which were probably both what was on the radio at the time. What a throwback…

Formation

Some developments of okay stuff. I bought as many iTunes free singles of the week as I could — which I still have — including Lauren Aquilina, Orla Gartland, twenty one pilots and Rudimental. Man, I miss that feature. Free music is the best.

Soft Guitars: the First

I started listening to study playlists on 8tracks with kinda country and guitar songs like The Paper Kites and Angus and Julia Stone. I still use the playlist I made at this time for chilling around the house! Man, I really miss 8tracks. Since it stopped working with soundcloud I don’t use it much anymore.

Indie Rock Things

I read a book about a girl who’s really into, like, 80s indie rock? (It was called This Song Will Save Your Life. I still have it on my shelf.) And thus, I made a playlist of 80s bands including things like The Smiths and The Cure. Some of those songs have made it through, but not many. Considering that playlist was like 120 songs or something.

Bubblegum Guitar

Another find from 8tracks as I was looking for summery playlists! I also still really enjoy this genre — not exactly guitars, but not exactly pop? Just. Summery bubblegum guitars. I don’t know how to describe it. Includes stuff like Knox Hamilton, Misterwives, the Two Door Cinema Club, and Holychild. My playlist is called ‘neon sneakers’ and I like that.

Fandom-related

A brief interlude in which I listened to lots of fan playlists, mostly for Les Mis and Harry Potter, and hence made my own. I actually discovered some cool stuff this way! But I also formed super strong character associations with certain songs — I can’t listen to Hang Me Up to Dry by the Cold War Kids without going HEY GRANTAIRE DON’T BE SAD. Blame it On the Girls is also still The Most Courfeyrac song.

Loud Guitar and Drums

I’m pretty sure someone stayed at our house and made me listen to some stuff? Update: IT WAS MY COUSIN’S AUSTRALIAN FRIEND. We saw him again the other day after like two years which was wild. Anyway. Stuff like The Black Keys, Ted Leo & The Pharmacists, Cold War Kids. A bunch of stuff I still listen to, actually! Also, Vampire Weekend got in there somewhere even though it’s not super related.

Electro Pop

I got pretty into more electronic-y pop kind of thing during the summer Halsey’s Badlands was released — so I listened to a lot of Halsey, Ryn Weaver, Banks, Lights, Pvris, Verite. Basically ALL THE COOL LADY ARTISTS. I actually just went to look for the playlist and I COULDN’T FIND IT so maybe I deleted it which is super annoying

Summery Electro pop

Some stuff happened in between these two. I probably just listened to old stuff. I can’t really remember but, yeah, a weird mix. Maybe this was my musicals period. ANYWAY the summer of 2016 I started listening to more summery pop! And kind of actual pop pop. Honestly I’m pleased that I am finally able to embrace that I JUST REALLY LOVE POP. Highlights include Shura (What’s it Gonna Be? is still one of my favourite music videos ever), Troye Sivan, Years & Years, Aurora, Hayley Kiyoko & Lauren Aquilina because YOOO SHE IS MY FAVOURITE AND THIS WAS WHEN SHE RELEASED HER LP. IT WAS AMAZING & YOU SHOULD GO READ MY REVIEW.

Soft Guitars: the Second

More pop & musicals happened between these. Then I had a bit of a renaissance with the soft guitars, and actually bothered to make a new background guitars playlist with people like Sufjan Stevens, Dodie & The Lumineers.

Summery Chill Pop, Also Other Stuff

AND THUS WE HAVE REACHED NOW. What is my current taste in music, you ask? To be honest, I don’t know, because I just listen to a mix of everything. But my summer 2017 playlist — which you can listen to here — includes stuff like The Japanese House, HAIM, Christine and the Queens, Tegan and Sara, and Lorde. So…some pop? But also some guitars and electronic-y things? I DON’T EVEN KNOW, DON’T ASK ME.

You can check out my spotify account if you like, but it doesn’t cover all of these music phases haha. (Thank goodness.) I don’t know if this is quite a definitive list, but it broadly covers what music I have liked…well, ever, discounting musicals because THAT IS A WHOLE OTHER THING. Maybe I should just write a post screaming about musicals. Anyway, this has been very nostalgic and fun for me, what about you? I’d love to chat!

do you go through phases like me? what are you loving at the moment? i’d love to hear any recs!

This month I’m turning 16. It feels weird. I feel weird about it. I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING TO BE SIXTEEN. In my mind, sixteen sounds so much older than fifteen. It sounds like age when I should be more sorted out, when I should be a better writer, when I should be more confident in myself.

I know that I shouldn’t set so many goals on myself — after all, I know so many wonderful people who are 16 and older who are super awesome and still growing and changing and OBVIOUSLY I have a long way to go — but it does feel like I have just been…less.

In October, my blog is turning 4. Yep, I’ve been here since I was 12! I KNOW THAT’S SO WILD, RIGHT. I truly can’t believe I’ve kept at blogging for this long, and I’m so proud of myself. My blog has become a comforting constant, and I am so grateful that I have carved out this space in which I can say things.

Sometimes my history on here doesfeel like it’s holding me back, I admit — it’s so much easier to be very personal and honest when you’re shouting into the void of the internet at strangers. Just in general life, I do in many ways wish that I could start over from where I am now, because I am such a different person to how I was in primary school or even 2, 3 years ago.

I feel a little bad for thinking this, but whilst I am so grateful that at the moment my parents are supporting me and I have the structure of school, I really am looking forward to not being a part of that. Being around the same people in a school setting makes it difficult for me to express myself the way I would like. I hope that in the future I can meet feel more happy with myself, and meet more awesome like-minded people. And just to be clear, that’s not to say I don’t love my current friends so dearly, because I do! I would NEVER give them up! It’s just that I have changed, and I want to embrace that change for the better.

Truly, I think I have developed a lot personally. Maybe not so much this year as I did last year; if last year was basically me coming out to myself and my friends, then I guess this year has been…consolidating that? Becoming more confident in myself? I mean, I don’t really know. I know sexuality or gender identity might not be a big deal to some people (which is totally cool and great for you!) but my queerness is a big part of who I am, and it didn’t feel good to bottle that up inside. Although I still make mistakes and do stuff that sucks sometimes, I do hope to keep growing & educating myself & learning how to do better.

So, yes, I wanted to be further in my blogging and writing by now. I haven’t ever finished a project. I haven’t been published any more than I had last year. I basically haven’t written in 6 months, yikes. It is so strange to feel at once so young and on the edge of everything and also like you’ve already wasted so much time. I haven’t experienced “classic teen things” (very big air quotes) like falling in love or going to parties, and yes, sometimes I feel left out. But there is no one way to be a teenager. I can spend my time how I want — and if that’s reading a great book with my cat, that’s okay.

That’s right folks, it’s September, and for me that means SCHOOL. And also a year of important stuff for me, because GCSEs and A LEVEL THINGS and DECISIONS ABOUT MY FUTURE. *screams*

Whilst obviously I am kind of worried, I’m not…that worried? I mean, I know GCSEs will probably suck but a) they are not at all the end of the world if I mess them up, I can still do other stuff as a human and b) they’ll probably end up fine. And I’m a lot further with thinking about my future than I was this time last year. I still don’t really understand how the new A Level thing all works — hopefully this will be explained??? maybe not though — but, yeah. I have some thoughts on what I want to do, at least. (I know I’d like to do Spanish.)

So, yes. It is GCSE year! Hurrah! not If you’re not familiar with the English school system, they’re basically the big exams you take age 16 after a two year course. I’m taking 9 or 10, I think? Maybe it’s 10 with the two English ones. I’m not sure. We also have mock exams at my school in January which, again, is going to be SUPER FUN. -_- At least I can look forward to seeing my family at Christmas and The Last Jedi. (Y’all, I am super hyped for it. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE MY SPACE CHILDREN AGAIN.)

Whilst obviously I’m going to need to like, do schoolwork, my main goal for this academic year is to be kind to myself. I find exams pretty stressful but I don’t really want to spend the next 9 months or so freaking out. What I mean by this is: I want to keep doing stuff I enjoy! Seeing friends, reading, book events, watching TV, blogging, writing, music. Meditation, which seems to helping a bit. We actually seem to have self-care lessons at school now — they’re not called that, but that’s what they seem to be — and I hope those will be good. If I get super stressed out over work then it just makes everything I try to do 100 times worse. And I do not need to feel crap for 9 months. It’s not worth that.

The other day I watched this video by EmilyOfAdarlan on having the right mindset for GCSEs, which I thought was really useful, if maybe not exactly how I’d like to do stuff? know that I could get super involved in this and just work all the time. And I probably will have to at some point. But I dunno, as I said, I don’t think it’d be awesome for my mental health. Ideally like to be able to combine maximising my time, consolidating stuff, and doing other work-y things with stuff I love. Sometimes I do just need time off. I found using a bullet journal useful so I think I’m going to restart that! (Maybe with a new journal because mine was a bit crappy.)

My mental health hasn’t been great recently but I’m feeling good today? Which is nice? So I’m going to talk about some stuff that I’m excited for this next school year. Firstly, seeing my friends! I’ve really missed just, like, seeing people over the holidays. It’s already been super nice to see them back at school. Also, I am kind of excited to be learning stuff again. Yeah, school can be stressful, but I just. Like learning stuff. WHAT CAN I SAY.

More things I am excited for: the clubs I have going on — LGBTQ+ society (we’re planning to do an assembly to the younger kids which is scary but also fun), music groups, theatre tech. Hopefully I can actually learn some useful tech stuff at the club. And we have House Music this year, which is basically where you get together with your people in your house to perform a song as a choir! It only happens every other year so the last time I did it was in Year 9, and honestly I’ve been waiting for it to happen again ever since because I LOVED it.

It’s a lot more easy for me to talk about what I want to do when I am feeling happy. It’s so much harder to love myself and focus on the good things when I’m not, but I’m going to try my best. In any case, I hope for the best for the next school year!

are you going back to school? do you have experiences of exams? how did you study, or how are you studying for them?