Hey, quit giggling. Not a microtransaction nightmare, but an in-game store to do something with the jillions of coins you collect. I’m playing Super Mario 3D World (BTW, I had to work to memorize that title) and wondering why I should be exerting any effort to nab the scores of gold coins in each level. They pay for new lives which as an experienced Mario player I hardly need.

Why can’t they be used to buy suits? Nintendo has some idea that currencies in games have value since you need green stars to open more levels. I’m nuts for those and don’t leave a world until I’ve farmed all its soylent goodness. But the visible coins, invisible coins, stacks of coins and coin suits bore me. I want to use them for something that enhances gameplay rather than just continuing it. It feels like I’m playing with the Black Eye skull from Halo 4 turned on.

I wonder why Nintendo hasn’t implemented something like this. Would it corrupt the innocent structure of the Mario games if coins become a hard currency rather than a token for play? Maybe this would peel back the facade of the Mushroom Kingdom’s economy. The man saving our pixie friends and defeating the enemy is also becoming filthy rich on the battlefield, a Tony Stark who loots corpses to fuel his war against the turtles.