Salma Hayek Pinault is a risk taker and irreverent thinker. She puts it all out there on screen, in her charity work, in her love life, and — hallelujah — in this frank and funny REDBOOK interview.

As you walk into the fabled Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel, the first things you notice are the iconic green-and-white striped walls, trellises spilling over with bougainvillea, and booths that have "VIP" written all over them. The place is teeming with agents and producers, a smattering of real housewives of Beverly Hills, and socialites who pick at their lobster salads while subtly eyeing each other up and down. They're all beautiful — tanned, taut, nipped, and tucked in that way that seems indigenous to Los Angeles.

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And then there's Salma Hayek Pinault, who is anything but stiff. "I don't want to do Botox and the fillers, at least not yet," explains the star, who is seated across from me in the prized (i.e., most visible) perch of the lounge's patio on a warm, breezy evening. "I'm not as afraid of the wrinkles as the face falling apart and losing its tone." Her antidote: Don't freeze your face, move it, using a technique she happily demonstrates, as everyone in the joint watches. Suddenly, the actress's gorgeous features are going at full speed in all different directions — jaw dropping then shutting, sparkly dark eyes squinting then opening wide, brows extending to the sky — oblivious to the triple takes she's inciting. "If you're paralyzing your face in your 20s and 30s, you're not exercising the muscles that give it strength," says Salma, 45, who recently launched a comprehensive beauty line for CVS called Nuance Salma Hayek. "My feeling is, laugh, cry, move your face. Go ahead," she says. "Try it!"

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You mean, here? Now?

"Yes, that's right. Open your mouth as wide as it will go and now make a big smile," she instructs. A minute later, we're gyrating our jaws in sync in two of the swankiest seats in Hollywood. That's just how Salma rolls.

The actress has a history of making up her own rules. She moved to the United States in 1994, at the height of her career as a Mexican soap star, for a shot at the big screen. But success wasn't immediate. When she couldn't get the parts she wanted, she created them. Frida, the biopic she produced in 2002 about Mexican artist Frida Kahlo, earned her a slew of Oscar nominations, including one for best actress. When she couldn't find television shows she could relate to, she produced her own, Ugly Betty. And who could forget her hilarious turn as the hot-blooded, McFlurry-loving nurse who fires up Alec Baldwin's character, Jack, on 30 Rock? Salma has brought that same passion to her work as a human rights activist. She's supported organizations that give aid to battered women and children through her Salma Hayek Foundation. She's helped provide tetanus vaccines to 31 million at-risk children through her work for UNICEF. And when she encountered a starving baby on one of the organization's goodwill missions to Sierra Leone almost three years ago, she didn't think twice about nursing him as the news cameras rolled.

"Of all the things I've done, I'll probably be remembered most for that," she says, laughing. "But I don't care." And that's her secret, it seems: doing exactly what feels right in the moment. That includes voicing the character of Kitty Softpaws in this month's 3-D Shrek spin-off, Puss in Boots, in addition to finishing four more movies for next year. What drives the petite powerhouse? Salma settles into her seat and opens up about her unlikely marriage to French luxury-goods mogul François-Henri Pinault, the fears and challenges she faces as a mom to her 4-year-old daughter, Valentina, and why every woman needs to shake things up — and keep 'em guessing.

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REDBOOK: You came to the United States to go to boarding school, and then again after you had become a big star in Mexico — but were unknown here. What was that like for you?

SALMA HAYEK PINAULT: It was very, very difficult. But I have a very romantic and adventurous spirit, and I've always believed that if you do the right thing for the right reasons, then good karma will come back to you. It was also simple: I wanted to make movies. They weren't making them in Mexico. I was on a soap, and that's not where I wanted to be.

RB: Did you ever doubt yourself?

SHP: I had plenty of doubts — I still do — because it seemed like it was never going to happen for me. It still feels that way sometimes, but I don't care that much anymore! Other things have happened, like having Valentina. So suddenly, work is just not that big of a deal. And now that it's not that big of a deal, it feels like everything is starting to happen for me — and I'm 45!

RB: What's different now than 20 years ago?

SHP: I'll tell you, there is nothing better in life than being a late bloomer. I believe that success can happen at any time and at any age. You can put your body in shape like it's never been before. You can have a spiritual awakening and discover a new side of yourself. And best of all, love can happen at any age. Life can just start to get exciting when you're in your 40s and 50s. You have to believe that.

RB: Did you always know that marriage and motherhood would happen for you?

SHP: Oh, no. There were many times when I had to emotionally come to terms with the fact that maybe I wasn't ever going to get married. And I started getting comfortable with that.

RB: Did you give up hope of having a child?

SHP: No, I always wanted one. I was thinking about different options for having one if I didn't find the right man.

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RB: Your daughter was so fantastic at our shoot. When I tried to offer her some candy, she said that if she finished her lunch she was going to get a piece of bubble gum, and she didn't think you would like it if she had both. She was so mature. What's your secret?

SHP: I just stay out of her way! I have a really smart daughter, and I'm sure every mother out there feels exactly the same as I do. She scares me with some of the things she says. She said to me, "Mommy, how come you get to boss me around, but I don't get to boss you around?" And I said, "It's my privilege as your mother." And she said, "Well what is it that gives you that privilege? And what can I do to have that privilege too?"

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RB: Is Valentina the reason you were drawn to the role in Puss in Boots?

SHP: I liked the idea of doing a movie that Valentina could see, since there are many I've done that she is too young to see, and a few I'd probably never want her to. I'm a watchdog when it comes to what she can and cannot see.

RB: So are you more conscious of the kind of movies you're making because of her?

SHP: I haven't done any movies with a love story because I am terrified of having to answer her questions. I just finished a movie with Kevin James, and she immediately asked me, "So what are you playing? What is this movie about? Do you have a boyfriend in this movie? Are you going to kiss him?" It's terrible. It's like being interrogated by Interpol!

RB: What do you think you're doing that's made her feel so secure in her own skin?

SHP: She has a very strong family core, and that creates a sense of security even though we move around a lot. She has never seen her parents fight — never. The one time we fought, it was a big one, but she was just a baby and not in the room.

RB: Really? You've only had one fight with François in the six years you've been together?

SHP: Yes, and that was when we separated. [Hayek and Pinault met in 2006, had daughter Valentina in September 2007, split for a few months in 2008, then got back together and tied the knot on Valentine's Day 2009.] You'd be surprised how things don't have to escalate if your common goal is resolution. If we fight, we end up laughing because it's usually something silly.

RB: How soon did you know that François was the one?

SHP: Let me just say that when I met him for the first time, I didn't even know I was going on a date. I thought I was going out with many people, and [being set up] made me very angry. Also, he was so unlike anything I ever expected for myself that I fought him when I first met him and was very nasty to him. I had preconceived notions of guys like him.

RB: What do you think his first impression of you was?

SHP: Probably "crazy girl." But something must have worked, because he married the crazy girl! I told him from the beginning that I wanted children and a family of my own, and that I didn't just want to date a bunch of guys — that I had already done that. Can you believe I said all of this on the first date? We were both very honest.

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RB: When he proposed after 10 months, were you surprised or did you expect it?

SHP: Oh, no, it was quite a shock. Then we kept it a secret until he got me pregnant — which of course was another shock.

RB: How much of this story do you attribute to fate?

SHP: I believe in fate 100 percent. I was that girl in her late 30s who had been heartbroken, with no husband, no children, and without a consistent career.

RB: During that period when you were single, did you ever indulge in self-pity parties?

SHP: Sure, but as I got closer to my 40s I liberated myself. I said to myself, "You know what? A husband and family might not happen, and you have to get over it and enjoy life without that." I decided to focus on the other good things I had. Then, all of a sudden!

RB: Do you think letting go freed you in some way?

SHP: To be honest, I had let myself go a little too much, because I was a little chubby then. I had resigned myself to not finding Mr. Perfect, so I could enjoy my candy! I was not at my best, and along came this sweet guy.

RB: Do you think François was as surprised by you as you were by him?

SHP: Yes. But I was more frightened by the idea of having to drop my life here. I told him I didn't think I could move to Paris, and he was okay with it. He gave me my space and told me we could take it one day at a time. He said we didn't have to be like everyone else, that we could reinvent our love, marriage, and family because there wasn't only one way to do it.

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RB: Is one of the reasons your relationship works so well that he lets you be yourself, not some trophy wife?

SHP: Yes. I work hard, I make my own living, and I love it. I like having financial independence. I don't ever want to have to depend on anyone completely. But when I have troubles sometimes, it's nice to have someone there to help.

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RB: So you don't have to deal with any macho French pride?

SHP: He doesn't have that. What he has is confidence.

RB: Okay, but I've read that you cook the family meals. He doesn't expect this from you?

SHP: Oh, no, no, no, no. I cook because I want to. If he expected me to have his dinner on the table every night, then I promise you, I wouldn't cook a day of my life. We're both so busy, and we don't live in the same place [because of their work, Salma spends more time in Los Angeles, François in Paris, where he has PPR, which owns Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent, among other fashion brands]. But I love to cook when I have the time. I don't cook French or Mexican food with exact recipes. I just go to the supermarket and buy things that look good, and I mix it all together and invent something. Ninety-five percent of the time, I'm lucky. Sometimes not so lucky, and I say, "Let's go out to dinner."

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RB: Do you ever eat junk food?

SHP: Of course! I love Doritos with Tabasco and Puffed Cheetos. I give the healthy Cheetos to Valentina and I eat the real ones!

RB: Would you like to have more children?

SHP: I had a difficult pregnancy. [Salma had gestational diabetes, a condition that can lead to miscarriage, birth defects, and complications at birth.] Plus, we've finally figured out our family dynamic, and it works well. But that said, I do sometimes think about it. Valentina, however, has made it very clear that she does not want a brother or sister. "Mama," she has said, "I have enough and I do not want to share you with another brother or sister." I don't even know if I could get pregnant at this point.

RB: You and François are a very glamorous couple, but do you ever just hang in your sweats?

SHP: François is not much of a sweats person. I am, but I am not stupid. I wear the sweats, but I will change into something else when I know he is about to come home. His philosophy is that you can be comfortable in something beautiful. But I'm not always dressed glamorously, because it is good for him to see the difference. And I have to say, I like that he has such great taste and that he always dresses well and smells so nice.

RB: Do you worry about getting older and aging gracefully?

SHP: Honestly, I didn't until I fell in love. He thinks I'm beautiful, and I wonder, what's going to happen when I'm not anymore? Is he not going to love me?

RB: But you really don't have a single wrinkle. Didn't you ever lie in the sun?

SHP: Are you kidding me? Yes, and I just quit smoking three months ago — a pack a day! I quit while I was pregnant and nursing, but started again the moment she got off the boob! I'm trying to take better care of myself. But you know how to age gracefully? Enjoy your life. If you're sour, unhappy, bitter, whiny, neurotic, and paranoid about getting older, that will age you.

RB: You're married to the head of one of the most powerful fashion companies in the world. How has your relationship influenced your personal style?

SHP: I have never cared that much about fashion, although it has grown on me since I have been with François. If someone asks me if I'd rather go to a movie or go shopping, I'll take the movie any day.

RB: You don't like to shop?

SHP: I don't, but François does. And it's a lot more fun to go with him than when I'm on my own with that sense of desperation that I have to find a dress and fit into it. I've always found shopping stressful.

RB: Does François ever pick out things out for you?

SHP: Sometimes.

RB: And if you don't like it, do you wear it anyway to make him happy?

SHP: No. I'll tell him, "I don't like that one." Like I said, I'm still a Mexican. I like to play fashion with him, but I'm nobody's Barbie.