Name: Balzar Shadirath <BR>Alias: Straight Edge <BR>Race: Chaos Necromonger <BR>Gender: Male <BR>Age: 500 yrs old <BR>Height: 208 kg <BR>Weight: 155 cm <BR>Hair: Light Blue <BR>Eyes: Red <BR>Quote: I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword. With blade in hand, shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction! I am Balzar. The end has come! <BR>Alignment: Neutral Good <BR>Personality: Balzar approaches any situation with logic and cold analysis. His only concern is finding the most efficient way to complete the task at hand. But sometimes even though he's a chaos necromonger he tries to be kind and little bit caring. Almost like a human being but really, he would like someday to live normal among the humans instead being a freak to them.

<BR>Sense Powers [75] [Level 4] - Balzar does have the ability to sense and track the presence of anyone that posses special powers.</BR>

<BR>Acrobatics [75] [Level 8] - Balzar is almost skilled acrobat. Adds a +5% per level to his Agility stat in terms of dodging.</BR>

<BR>Inaudible [75] [Level 2] - It's a bitch that he can talk anymore. But actually it brought something that he could use to his advantage. He doesn't resonate sound which could good for missions.</BR>

<BR>Telepathy(Mesmerism) [500] [Level 1] - The only known way now that Balzar's can communicate with anybody. He did learn this in Necro High school through his mental courses. Dr. Kado taught him how to use his telepathy for multiple targets, Illusions, remain Undetected & create links with others</BR>

<BR>Metal Elemental Sword [200] [Level 5] - The masamune blade called Shiki which he wields as his weapon of redemption. He created the blade for necro elemental metal at local weapon inventory. The blade is always with him.<BR>[+50] No need to generate<BR>

Weapon Skills [125] [Level 9] - Balzar learned how to use swords at a young age which was all part of his necro training. Throughtout the years his training with the sword had become better than ever. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat with his chosen weapon.</BR>

<BR>IQ [100] [Level 3] - Average IQ</BR>

<BR>Targeting, Non Powered [200] [Level 1] - The Necromonger's law is for all living necromongers to use how to defend themselves. Balzar's necro father trained him how to use guns, machine and force blasts in battle. Adds +10% to his Accuracy stat per level in terms of hitting with his chosen weapons.<BR>[+25] Force Blasts<BR>[+25] Machine Guns<BR>

<BR>Necro Fighting Skills [200] [Level 1] - Trained to be a fighting Necromonger. Balzar is a novice when fighting enemies. He wants to be a true Necro fighter someday. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat.</BR>

Chaos Necromonger [+500] - Balzar is the first of his kind to survive the stigmata cancer which he was given major treatments. It changed his appearance completely. He has eyeballs on his shoulders, wrists & legs. The eyes on his forehead are gone giving clawed feet. Balzar's skin is completely grey & dark blue almost like a gargoyle. Which his true appearance is completely hidden under his CNM clothing. A Severly Non-Human Appearance of a Chaos Necromonger.</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Race [(Alien) +300] - The Necromonger race were born from the Anicent Lomac tribe. The dimension race of star pirates from the galaxy necro centuries away from Planet Earth. The Necromonger were once slaves to Lomac tribes until the Necro resistance was formed. They took over planet N'Goltha and the race population started to grow.</BR>

<BR>Lost Sense [+300] - Balzar can't speak because upon arriving to Planet Earth, his voice box was crushed. He can't speak to human with his own necro voice which makes him a little angry at times.</BR>

<BR>Weak Immune System [+300] - Necromongers had weak immune system to humans and demons which they to take a special serum. Luckily for Balzar his necro father told him this "fruit punch" taken with this "aspirin" can create the serum faster than ever. If Balzar doesn't take he'll weaken considerably.</BR>

<BR>Born in Planet N'Goltha under the name Balzar from Medical Hava Hospital. Bale's necro mother had a rare stigmata cancer which she died while giving birth to her son this cancer didn't spread into the necro child but actually it was prevented. Bale's necro father was told about Foloshen syndrome the only way to counter this cancer from spreading into the necro child. He agreed and the Chaos Foloshen injection was giving and it saved young Bale's life. But sooner or later his father will have to tell Bale the full effect of what the injection was. But throughout his necro childhood Bale grew up to be an intelligent necro kid which a vast knowing of knowledge within his mind. All because he couldn't watch television his necro father was strict about that thyat his education was more important then necro television. Bale didn't really argue with his necro father he just wanted to see necro cartoons at the time but really his necro father was worried of when he was going to tell his son what happened to him at birth.

Throughout the ending of his necro childhood, Bale loved reading things to understand there meaning then finally he started reading about syndromes. He came home to find his necro father crying he knows about his necro mother dying at birth but why he thought that dad had gotten over but it was something else. Finally his necro father told him the god awful truth about what happen to him seeing that his necro father was strucken with grief.

Balzar still cared about his necro father knowing that whatever decision was made it ultimately saved his life and lived what that decision. With behind him growing up, Bale managed to finish both necro kindergarten and necro grade school moving onto necro high school. People still calling him little but sometimes it had it advantages yet during that necro high school it led to some advantages that were kinda dangerous.

Trio-Seniors would push him into lockers, pull on his underwear even hang him from the flag post letting the necro police get him down. Those were the rough times until one girl stood forward helping Bale deal with the bullies. To his shock she had the same Chaos syndrome as he did her name Jesenia Berla which they started to have a high school romance through the sophomore year. Still working on his studies to impress his necro father, Bale thought his life was turning around. Until an car accident which came out of nowhere shock him completely the crash injured one of his necro school buddies. Then someone or something smacked him the worst thing was he could actually see it, was this some high school prank??? Because this wasn't funny he tried to attack it but the monster punched him hard and then looked at him getting ready to eat.

The Nexon monster looked at him thinking he was too grotseque and then flew off, Balzar though this was weird and what the hell just happen but Shizume's necro father wanted no part of this fearing the worst. He sent Balzar to one the place which the Necromonger commnity recommended which was Planet Earth which Balzar thought this would be the first time going on a trip </BR>

<BR>He said his goodbyes to all his necro friends even Jesenia which she didn't like the fact that he was leaving his hometown because of one strange event. The trasnport ship ride was kinda cool seeing that he was riding in first class which people treating you to meals, drinks, dessert being comfortable and a movie. Hours later, he was teleported on Planet earth which was the beginning of his new lifestyle.</BR>

</FONT></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>[/dohtml]

BRB

Henuki - December 11, 2009 12:50 AM (GMT)

Ok this guy's history and character need some real work. You need to work on the history alot here. Firstly stop using human references and don't put Necro in the front of everything just to make it sound alien. Try to think or a more believable or realistic alien race name that Chaos Necromonger. Next up you make references to some sort of rebellion for your race. Why then during you character history is there no reference to this hardship and things are just all hunky dory. Please be consistent with your race and character history.

Name: Balzar Shadirath <BR>Alias: Straight Edge <BR>Race: Chaos Necromonger <BR>Gender: Male <BR>Age: 500 yrs old <BR>Height: 208 kg <BR>Weight: 155 cm <BR>Hair: Light Blue <BR>Eyes: Red <BR>Quote: I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword. With blade in hand, shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction! I am Balzar. The end has come! <BR>Alignment: Neutral Good <BR>Personality: Balzar approaches any situation with logic and cold analysis. His only concern is finding the most efficient way to complete the task at hand. But sometimes even though he's a chaos necromonger he tries to be kind and little bit caring. Almost like a human being but really, he would like someday to live normal among the humans instead being a freak to them.

<BR>Sense Powers [75] [Level 4] - Balzar does have the ability to sense and track the presence of anyone that posses special powers.</BR>

<BR>Acrobatics [75] [Level 9] - Balzar is almost skilled acrobat. Adds a +5% per level to his Agility stat in terms of dodging.</BR>

<BR>Inaudible [75] [Level 2] - It's a bitch that he can talk anymore. But actually it brought something that he could use to his advantage. He doesn't resonate sound which could good for missions.</BR>

<BR>Telepathy(Mesmerism) [500] [Level 1] - The only known way now that Balzar's can communicate with anybody. He did learn this in High school through his mental courses. Dr. Kado taught him how to use his telepathy for multiple targets, Illusions, remain Undetected & create links with others</BR>

<BR>Metal Elemental Sword [200] [Level 5] - The masamune blade called Shiki which he wields as his weapon of redemption. He created the blade for elemental metal at local weapon inventory. The blade is always with him.<BR>[+50] No need to generate<BR>

Weapon Skills [125] [Level 10] - Balzar learned how to use swords at a young age which was all part of his necro training. Throughtout the years his training with the sword had become better than ever. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat with his chosen weapon.</BR>

<BR>IQ [100] [Level 3] - Average IQ</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Fighting Skills [200] [Level 1] - Trained to be a fighting Necromonger. Balzar is a novice when fighting enemies. He wants to be a true Necro fighter someday. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat.</BR>

Chaos Necromonger [+500] - Balzar is the first of his kind to survive the stigmata cancer which he was given major treatments. It changed his appearance completely. He has eyeballs on his shoulders, wrists & legs. The eyes on his forehead are gone giving clawed feet. Balzar's skin is completely grey & dark blue almost like a gargoyle. Which his true appearance is completely hidden under his CNM clothing. A Severly Non-Human Appearance of a Chaos Necromonger.</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Race [(Alien) +300] - The Necromonger race were born from the Anicent Lomac tribe. The dimension race of star pirates from the galaxy necro centuries away from Planet Earth. The Necromonger were once slaves to Lomac tribes until the Necro resistance was formed. They took over planet N'Goltha and the race population started to grow.</BR>

<BR>Lost Sense [+300] - Balzar can't speak because upon arriving to Planet Earth, his voice box was crushed. He can't speak to human with his own necro voice which makes him a little angry at times.</BR>

<BR>Weak Immune System [+300] - Necromongers had weak immune system to humans and demons which they to take a special serum. Luckily for Balzar his necro father told him this "fruit punch" taken with this "aspirin" can create the serum faster than ever. If Balzar doesn't take he'll weaken considerably.</BR>

<BR>Born in Planet N'Goltha there has been a war between Necromongers and Lomac tribes and ancient war which has gone one for centuries. Necromoncers were once slaves to the Ancient Lomac tribes which were traded for 1,000 pounds of an new substance called Nuclear gold. The first Necromonger was purchased Lomac warrior named Jax-ga and sent to work into the mines digging for unknown minerals among Planet N'Goltha. As time progress more and more Necromongers were sent to work but as times got worse most of the slaves refuse to work and were killed. The Lomac warriors were brutal against the Necromonger race the truth was the Lomacs destroyed the Necro home planet as most of the race were rounded and sent to slave ships. Many Necromongers died because of some weren't fed and because none were allow the chance to rest. Lomacs were abusive against the Necromonger ordering them to work, loading dead bodies on trucks, slave purchasing and worse was killing each other for entertainment. Finally came the turning point when a necro child was coughing die to some disease and she was being whipped constantly by a lomac warrior. None of the other Necromongers were going to help the child but one of them saw enough and pushed the lomac off him. The lomac used a whistle to called others to help him with the savage slave because that necromonger wasn't following orders. The Necromonger had enough and started using his fighting skills to hurt some of the lomacs. Then as the other Necromongers were digging they saw that this was good hance to fight back and then started helping their friend. Many Necromongers started beating up the Lomac taking their weapons and started using them against their slave masters. The Necromongers forced the Lomacs into one spaceship but the necromonger children actually were smart and activated the self destruct on the ship. The Necromonger known as Kado Shadirath stood up and watched the explosion telling his race not to be afraid because they took their first step at freedom. The Necromongers actually drove up the rest of the Lomac tribes off Planet N'Goltha learning a horrible & devastating truth from the Lomac King Haison. The Lomacs actually created the Necromongers to be the greatest warriors but from the many betrayals plus the hatred the slave orders were given. The Necromongers used the Lomac's technology to finally eat, to grow but ultimate to survive upon this new planet. But like any civilization they needed someone to tell thm what to do and Kado Shadirath took the opportunity into his hands. He became the new king of Planet N'Goltha with this chance he knew their were going to be some hardships along the way. The Necromonger race dealt with the many burdens and pain that came along the way which their new king helping them into the future.</BR>

<BR>Balzar was born years laster during the time when the Lomacs were arriving upon the planet trying to understand why the communication systems were down. The young child the scars of battle seeing the Lomac tribe being ambushed by the hundreds of his own people. The child didn't understand this until one of the Lomacs had him by the neck and the child stabbed him hard. The other necros saw this and then the king was appointing a new queen to the planet. Which Balzar would become the new prince to the planet as most Necros were honoring the child but some of them wanted to be bodyguards to the new prince. But their was something wrong with child which led to the prince into the first Chaos Necromonger of the Necro race. The doctors later discovered that the first ever queen Helana had the rare stigmata cancer passing it down to the prince. The conclusion was the prince was given the new treatment which upgraded him into a Chaos Necromonger. </BR>

<BR>A decade later the Necromonger race started creating stronger and powerful technology for themselves the new prince wanted to discover new dimensions. The king and queen agreed to Prince Balzar's request allowing to leave his royal duties and explore these new dimensions. He was given a crew and a modified spaceship which upon blast off they actually through a dimensional gateway leading to Planet Earth. The ship landed on the planet as Balzar saw the crew sleeping and decided to leave the ship which he decided to discover what this planet was by himself.</BR></FONT></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>[/dohtml]

Henuki - December 12, 2009 06:00 PM (GMT)

History: Just clarify if they are from another dimension or other part of space, you muddle up the two terms.

Also Why is your faction SHIELD. SHIELD doesn't just accept aliens into their ranks. You are more likely to be imprisoned and experimented on. Earth doesn't trust or like Aliens right now. If you tried to hide your origins from SHIELD they would find out.

On your telepathy you mention learning to control it in High School, yet you never bought the High School Graduate skill? Did you drop out? Clarify

Also you have an addition 100Xp left to spend on your bio than what you've mentioned.

Name: Balzar Shadirath <BR>Alias: Straight Edge <BR>Race: Chaos Necromonger <BR>Gender: Male <BR>Age: 500 yrs old <BR>Height: 208 kg <BR>Weight: 155 cm <BR>Hair: Light Blue <BR>Eyes: Red <BR>Quote: I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword. With blade in hand, shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction! I am Balzar. The end has come! <BR>Alignment: Neutral Good <BR>Personality: Balzar approaches any situation with logic and cold analysis. His only concern is finding the most efficient way to complete the task at hand. But sometimes even though he's a chaos necromonger he tries to be kind and little bit caring. Almost like a human being but really, he would like someday to live normal among the humans instead being a freak to them.

<BR>Sense Powers [75] [Level 4] - Balzar does have the ability to sense and track the presence of anyone that posses special powers.</BR>

<BR>Acrobatics [75] [Level 9] - Balzar is almost skilled acrobat. Adds a +5% per level to his Agility stat in terms of dodging.</BR>

<BR>Inaudible [75] [Level 2] - It's a bitch that he can talk anymore. But actually it brought something that he could use to his advantage. He doesn't resonate sound which could good for missions.</BR>

<BR>Telepathy(Mesmerism) [500] [Level 1] - The only known way now that Balzar's can communicate with anybody. Kado taught him how to use his telepathy for multiple targets, Illusions, remain Undetected & create links with others</BR>

<BR>Metal Elemental Sword [200] [Level 5] - The masamune blade called Shiki which he wields as his weapon of redemption. He created the blade for elemental metal at local weapon inventory. The blade is always with him.<BR>[+50] No need to generate<BR>

Weapon Skills [125] [Level 10] - Balzar learned how to use swords at a young age which was all part of his necro training. Throughtout the years his training with the sword had become better than ever. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat with his chosen weapon.</BR>

<BR>IQ [100] [Level 3] - Average IQ</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Fighting Skills [200] [Level 1] - Trained to be a fighting Necromonger. Balzar is a novice when fighting enemies. He wants to be a true Necro fighter someday. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat.</BR>

Chaos Necromonger [+500] - Balzar is the first of his kind to survive the stigmata cancer which he was given major treatments. It changed his appearance completely. He has eyeballs on his shoulders, wrists & legs. The eyes on his forehead are gone giving clawed feet. Balzar's skin is completely grey & dark blue almost like a gargoyle. Which his true appearance is completely hidden under his CNM clothing. A Severly Non-Human Appearance of a Chaos Necromonger.</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Race [(Alien) +300] - The Necromonger race were born from the Anicent Lomac tribe. There called star pirates from the another galaxy centuries away from Planet Earth. The Necromonger were once slaves to Lomac tribes until the Necro resistance was formed. They took over planet N'Goltha and the race population started to grow.</BR>

<BR>Lost Sense [+300] - Balzar can't speak because upon arriving to Planet Earth, his voice box was crushed. He can't speak to human with his own necro voice which makes him a little angry at times.</BR>

<BR>Weak Immune System [+300] - Necromongers had weak immune system to humans and demons which they to take a special serum. Luckily for Balzar his necro father told him this "fruit punch" taken with this "aspirin" can create the serum faster than ever. If Balzar doesn't take he'll weaken considerably.</BR>

<BR>In the dimension light years away from Planet Earth. On Planet N'Goltha there has been a war between Necromongers and Lomac tribes and ancient war which has gone one in another part of space. Necromoncers were once slaves to the Ancient Lomac tribes which were traded for 1,000 pounds of an new substance called Nuclear gold. The first Necromonger was purchased Lomac warrior named Jax-ga and sent to work into the mines digging for unknown minerals among Planet N'Goltha. As time progress more and more Necromongers were sent to work but as times got worse most of the slaves refuse to work and were killed. The Lomac warriors were brutal against the Necromonger race the truth was the Lomacs destroyed their home planet as most of the race were rounded and sent to slave ships. Many Necromongers died because of some weren't fed and because none were allow the chance to rest. Lomacs were abusive against the Necromonger ordering them to work, loading dead bodies on trucks, slave purchasing and worse was killing each other for entertainment. Finally came the turning point when a necro child was coughing die to some disease and she was being whipped constantly by a lomac warrior. None of the other Necromongers were going to help the child but one of them saw enough and pushed the lomac off him. The lomac used a whistle to called others to help him with the savage slave because that necromonger wasn't following orders. The Necromonger had enough and started using his fighting skills to hurt some of the lomacs. Then as the other Necromongers were digging they saw that this was good hance to fight back and then started helping their friend. Many Necromongers started beating up the Lomac taking their weapons and started using them against their slave masters. The Necromongers forced the Lomacs into one spaceship but the necromonger children actually were smart and activated the self destruct on the ship. The Necromonger known as Kado Shadirath stood up and watched the explosion telling his race not to be afraid because they took their first step at freedom. The Necromongers actually drove up the rest of the Lomac tribes off Planet N'Goltha learning a horrible & devastating truth from the Lomac King Haison. The Lomacs actually created the Necromongers to be the greatest warriors but from the many betrayals plus the hatred the slave orders were given. The Necromongers used the Lomac's technology to finally eat, to grow but ultimate to survive upon this new planet. But like any civilization they needed someone to tell thm what to do and Kado Shadirath took the opportunity into his hands. He became the new king of Planet N'Goltha with this chance he knew their were going to be some hardships along the way. The Necromonger race dealt with the many burdens and pain that came along the way which their new king helping them into the future.</BR>

<BR>Balzar was born years later during the time when the Lomacs were arriving upon the planet trying to understand why the communication systems were down. The young child saw the scars of battle seeing the Lomac tribe being ambushed by the hundreds of his own people. The child didn't understand this until one of the Lomacs had him by the neck and the child stabbed him hard. The other necros saw this and then the king was appointing a new queen to the planet. Which Balzar would become the new prince to the planet as most Necros were honoring the child but some of them wanted to be bodyguards to the new prince. But their was something wrong with child which led to the prince into the first Chaos Necromonger of the Necro race. The doctors later discovered that the first ever queen Helana had the rare stigmata cancer passing it down to the prince. The conclusion was the prince was given the new treatment which upgraded him into a Chaos Necromonger. </BR>

<BR>A decade later the Necromonger race started creating stronger and powerful technology for themselves the new prince wanted to discover new dimensions. The king and queen agreed to Prince Balzar's request allowing to leave his royal duties and explore these new dimensions. He was given a crew and a modified spaceship which upon blast off they actually through a dimensional gateway leading to Planet Earth. The ship landed on the planet as Balzar saw the crew sleeping and decided to leave the ship which he decided to discover what this planet was by himself.</BR></FONT></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>[/dohtml]

Henuki - December 15, 2009 08:16 PM (GMT)

This is close to getting approved but your history still has inconsistencies. Dimension's light years from earth? Dimensional gateways? These sorts of things make it sound as if he is from an alternate dimension not another planet.

Name: Balzar Shadirath <BR>Alias: Straight Edge <BR>Race: Chaos Necromonger <BR>Gender: Male <BR>Age: 500 yrs old <BR>Height: 208 kg <BR>Weight: 155 cm <BR>Hair: Light Blue <BR>Eyes: Red <BR>Quote: I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword. With blade in hand, shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction! I am Balzar. The end has come! <BR>Alignment: Neutral Good <BR>Personality: Balzar approaches any situation with logic and cold analysis. His only concern is finding the most efficient way to complete the task at hand. But sometimes even though he's a chaos necromonger he tries to be kind and little bit caring. Almost like a human being but really, he would like someday to live normal among the humans instead being a freak to them.

<BR>Sense Powers [75] [Level 4] - Balzar does have the ability to sense and track the presence of anyone that posses special powers.</BR>

<BR>Acrobatics [75] [Level 9] - Balzar is almost skilled acrobat. Adds a +5% per level to his Agility stat in terms of dodging.</BR>

<BR>Inaudible [75] [Level 2] - It's a bitch that he can talk anymore. But actually it brought something that he could use to his advantage. He doesn't resonate sound which could good for missions.</BR>

<BR>Telepathy(Mesmerism) [500] [Level 1] - The only known way now that Balzar's can communicate with anybody. Kado taught him how to use his telepathy for multiple targets, Illusions, remain Undetected & create links with others</BR>

<BR>Metal Elemental Sword [200] [Level 5] - The masamune blade called Shiki which he wields as his weapon of redemption. He created the blade for elemental metal at local weapon inventory. The blade is always with him.<BR>[+50] No need to generate<BR>

Weapon Skills [125] [Level 10] - Balzar learned how to use swords at a young age which was all part of his necro training. Throughtout the years his training with the sword had become better than ever. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat with his chosen weapon.</BR>

<BR>IQ [100] [Level 3] - Average IQ</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Fighting Skills [200] [Level 1] - Trained to be a fighting Necromonger. Balzar is a novice when fighting enemies. He wants to be a true Necro fighter someday. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat.</BR>

Chaos Necromonger [+500] - Balzar is the first of his kind to survive the stigmata cancer which he was given major treatments. It changed his appearance completely. He has eyeballs on his shoulders, wrists & legs. The eyes on his forehead are gone giving clawed feet. Balzar's skin is completely grey & dark blue almost like a gargoyle. Which his true appearance is completely hidden under his CNM clothing. A Severly Non-Human Appearance of a Chaos Necromonger.</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Race [(Alien) +300] - The Necromonger race were born from the Anicent Lomac tribe. There called star pirates from the another galaxy centuries away from Planet Earth. The Necromonger were once slaves to Lomac tribes until the Necro resistance was formed. They took over planet N'Goltha and the race population started to grow.</BR>

<BR>Lost Sense [+300] - Balzar can't speak because upon arriving to Planet Earth, his voice box was crushed. He can't speak to human with his own necro voice which makes him a little angry at times.</BR>

<BR>Weak Immune System [+300] - Necromongers had weak immune system to humans and demons which they to take a special serum. Luckily for Balzar his necro father told him this "fruit punch" taken with this "aspirin" can create the serum faster than ever. If Balzar doesn't take he'll weaken considerably.</BR>

<BR>On a planet far from Planet Earth but close to Pluto & Neptune. On Planet N'Goltha there has been a war between Necromongers and Lomac tribes and ancient war which has gone one in another part of space. Necromoncers were once slaves to the Ancient Lomac tribes which were traded for 1,000 pounds of an new substance called Nuclear gold. The first Necromonger was purchased Lomac warrior named Jax-ga and sent to work into the mines digging for unknown minerals among Planet N'Goltha. As time progress more and more Necromongers were sent to work but as times got worse most of the slaves refuse to work and were killed. The Lomac warriors were brutal against the Necromonger race the truth was the Lomacs destroyed their home planet as most of the race were rounded and sent to slave ships. Many Necromongers died because of some weren't fed and because none were allow the chance to rest. Lomacs were abusive against the Necromonger ordering them to work, loading dead bodies on trucks, slave purchasing and worse was killing each other for entertainment. Finally came the turning point when a necro child was coughing die to some disease and she was being whipped constantly by a lomac warrior. None of the other Necromongers were going to help the child but one of them saw enough and pushed the lomac off him. The lomac used a whistle to called others to help him with the savage slave because that necromonger wasn't following orders. The Necromonger had enough and started using his fighting skills to hurt some of the lomacs. Then as the other Necromongers were digging they saw that this was good hance to fight back and then started helping their friend. Many Necromongers started beating up the Lomac taking their weapons and started using them against their slave masters. The Necromongers forced the Lomacs into one spaceship but the necromonger children actually were smart and activated the self destruct on the ship. The Necromonger known as Kado Shadirath stood up and watched the explosion telling his race not to be afraid because they took their first step at freedom. The Necromongers actually drove up the rest of the Lomac tribes off Planet N'Goltha learning a horrible & devastating truth from the Lomac King Haison. The Lomacs actually created the Necromongers to be the greatest warriors but from the many betrayals plus the hatred the slave orders were given. The Necromongers used the Lomac's technology to finally eat, to grow but ultimate to survive upon this new planet. But like any civilization they needed someone to tell thm what to do and Kado Shadirath took the opportunity into his hands. He became the new king of Planet N'Goltha with this chance he knew their were going to be some hardships along the way. The Necromonger race dealt with the many burdens and pain that came along the way which their new king helping them into the future.</BR>

<BR>Balzar was born years later during the time when the Lomacs were arriving upon the planet trying to understand why the communication systems were down. The young child saw the scars of battle seeing the Lomac tribe being ambushed by the hundreds of his own people. The child didn't understand this until one of the Lomacs had him by the neck and the child stabbed him hard. The other necros saw this and then the king was appointing a new queen to the planet. Which Balzar would become the new prince to the planet as most Necros were honoring the child but some of them wanted to be bodyguards to the new prince. But their was something wrong with child which led to the prince into the first Chaos Necromonger of the Necro race. The doctors later discovered that the first ever queen Helana had the rare stigmata cancer passing it down to the prince. The conclusion was the prince was given the new treatment which upgraded him into a Chaos Necromonger. </BR>

<BR>A decade later the Necromonger race started creating stronger and powerful technology for themselves the new prince wanted to discover new planets. The king and queen agreed to Prince Balzar's request allowing to leave his royal duties and explore these planets. He was given a crew and a modified spaceship which upon blast off setting a course leading to Planet Earth. The ship landed on the planet as Balzar saw the crew sleeping and decided to leave the ship which he decided to discover what this planet was by himself.</BR></FONT></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>[/dohtml]

Henuki - December 17, 2009 03:22 PM (GMT)

Eeep you solved one issue but created another, I've already told you on your other alien profile that you can't have planets in our solar system. The Solar System consists of our 9 planets and no more. If that planet part is sorted you bio can go up.

Name: Balzar Shadirath <BR>Alias: Straight Edge <BR>Race: Chaos Necromonger <BR>Gender: Male <BR>Age: 500 yrs old <BR>Height: 208 kg <BR>Weight: 155 cm <BR>Hair: Light Blue <BR>Eyes: Red <BR>Quote: I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword. With blade in hand, shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction! I am Balzar. The end has come! <BR>Alignment: Neutral Good <BR>Personality: Balzar approaches any situation with logic and cold analysis. His only concern is finding the most efficient way to complete the task at hand. But sometimes even though he's a chaos necromonger he tries to be kind and little bit caring. Almost like a human being but really, he would like someday to live normal among the humans instead being a freak to them.

<BR>Sense Powers [75] [Level 4] - Balzar does have the ability to sense and track the presence of anyone that posses special powers.</BR>

<BR>Acrobatics [75] [Level 9] - Balzar is almost skilled acrobat. Adds a +5% per level to his Agility stat in terms of dodging.</BR>

<BR>Inaudible [75] [Level 2] - It's a bitch that he can talk anymore. But actually it brought something that he could use to his advantage. He doesn't resonate sound which could good for missions.</BR>

<BR>Telepathy(Mesmerism) [500] [Level 1] - The only known way now that Balzar's can communicate with anybody. Kado taught him how to use his telepathy for multiple targets, Illusions, remain Undetected & create links with others</BR>

<BR>Metal Elemental Sword [200] [Level 5] - The masamune blade called Shiki which he wields as his weapon of redemption. He created the blade for elemental metal at local weapon inventory. The blade is always with him.<BR>[+50] No need to generate<BR>

Weapon Skills [125] [Level 10] - Balzar learned how to use swords at a young age which was all part of his necro training. Throughtout the years his training with the sword had become better than ever. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat with his chosen weapon.</BR>

<BR>IQ [100] [Level 3] - Average IQ</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Fighting Skills [200] [Level 1] - Trained to be a fighting Necromonger. Balzar is a novice when fighting enemies. He wants to be a true Necro fighter someday. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat.</BR>

Chaos Necromonger [+500] - Balzar is the first of his kind to survive the stigmata cancer which he was given major treatments. It changed his appearance completely. He has eyeballs on his shoulders, wrists & legs. The eyes on his forehead are gone giving clawed feet. Balzar's skin is completely grey & dark blue almost like a gargoyle. Which his true appearance is completely hidden under his CNM clothing. A Severly Non-Human Appearance of a Chaos Necromonger.</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Race [(Alien) +300] - The Necromonger race were born from the Anicent Lomac tribe. There called star pirates from the another galaxy centuries away from Planet Earth. The Necromonger were once slaves to Lomac tribes until the Necro resistance was formed. They took over planet N'Goltha and the race population started to grow.</BR>

<BR>Lost Sense [+300] - Balzar can't speak because upon arriving to Planet Earth, his voice box was crushed. He can't speak to human with his own necro voice which makes him a little angry at times.</BR>

<BR>Weak Immune System [+300] - Necromongers had weak immune system to humans and demons which they to take a special serum. Luckily for Balzar his necro father told him this "fruit punch" taken with this "aspirin" can create the serum faster than ever. If Balzar doesn't take he'll weaken considerably.</BR>

<BR>On a planet close to Planet Earth but far to Pluto & Neptune. On Planet Mars there has been a war between Necromongers and Lomac tribes and ancient war which has gone one in another part of space. Necromoncers were once slaves to the Ancient Lomac tribes which were traded for 1,000 pounds of an new substance called Nuclear gold. The first Necromonger was purchased Lomac warrior named Jax-ga and sent to work into the mines digging for unknown minerals among Planet Mars. As time progress more and more Necromongers were sent to work but as times got worse most of the slaves refuse to work and were killed. The Lomac warriors were brutal against the Necromonger race the truth was the Lomacs destroyed their home planet as most of the race were rounded and sent to slave ships. Many Necromongers died because of some weren't fed and because none were allow the chance to rest. Lomacs were abusive against the Necromonger ordering them to work, loading dead bodies on trucks, slave purchasing and worse was killing each other for entertainment. Finally came the turning point when a necro child was coughing die to some disease and she was being whipped constantly by a lomac warrior. None of the other Necromongers were going to help the child but one of them saw enough and pushed the lomac off him. The lomac used a whistle to called others to help him with the savage slave because that necromonger wasn't following orders. The Necromonger had enough and started using his fighting skills to hurt some of the lomacs. Then as the other Necromongers were digging they saw that this was good hance to fight back and then started helping their friend. Many Necromongers started beating up the Lomac taking their weapons and started using them against their slave masters. The Necromongers forced the Lomacs into one spaceship but the necromonger children actually were smart and activated the self destruct on the ship. The Necromonger known as Kado Shadirath stood up and watched the explosion telling his race not to be afraid because they took their first step at freedom. The Necromongers actually drove up the rest of the Lomac tribes off Planet Mars learning a horrible & devastating truth from the Lomac King Haison. The Lomacs actually created the Necromongers to be the greatest warriors but from the many betrayals plus the hatred the slave orders were given. The Necromongers used the Lomac's technology to finally eat, to grow but ultimate to survive upon this new planet. But like any civilization they needed someone to tell thm what to do and Kado Shadirath took the opportunity into his hands. He became the new king of Planet N'Goltha with this chance he knew their were going to be some hardships along the way. The Necromonger race dealt with the many burdens and pain that came along the way which their new king helping them into the future.</BR>

<BR>Balzar was born years later during the time when the Lomacs were arriving upon the planet trying to understand why the communication systems were down. The young child saw the scars of battle seeing the Lomac tribe being ambushed by the hundreds of his own people. The child didn't understand this until one of the Lomacs had him by the neck and the child stabbed him hard. The other necros saw this and then the king was appointing a new queen to the planet. Which Balzar would become the new prince to the planet as most Necros were honoring the child but some of them wanted to be bodyguards to the new prince. But their was something wrong with child which led to the prince into the first Chaos Necromonger of the Necro race. The doctors later discovered that the first ever queen Helana had the rare stigmata cancer passing it down to the prince. The conclusion was the prince was given the new treatment which upgraded him into a Chaos Necromonger. </BR>

<BR>A decade later the Necromonger race started creating stronger and powerful technology for themselves the new prince wanted to discover new planets. The king and queen agreed to Prince Balzar's request allowing to leave his royal duties and explore these planets. He was given a crew and a modified spaceship which upon blast off setting a course leading to Planet Earth. The ship landed on the planet as Balzar saw the crew sleeping and decided to leave the ship which he decided to discover what this planet was by himself.</BR></FONT></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>[/dohtml]

Henuki - December 18, 2009 04:11 PM (GMT)

Come on! I tell you how to solve it so easily and you just go and make it difficult again!

No you are not suddenly changing things so that you were born on mars and that all that interstellar activity could go on without earth knowing. No I told you how to fix it and you just made it worse. All you had to do was say it was a planet outside of our solar system and it would've been fine. Your race will not exist within our soloar system by all means have the planet and that whole war transpire outside out solar system on a far off planet then have your character trevel here.

Name: Balzar Shadirath <BR>Alias: Straight Edge <BR>Race: Chaos Necromonger <BR>Gender: Male <BR>Age: 500 yrs old <BR>Height: 208 kg <BR>Weight: 155 cm <BR>Hair: Light Blue <BR>Eyes: Red <BR>Quote: I am the white void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword. With blade in hand, shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction! I am Balzar. The end has come! <BR>Alignment: Neutral Good <BR>Personality: Balzar approaches any situation with logic and cold analysis. His only concern is finding the most efficient way to complete the task at hand. But sometimes even though he's a chaos necromonger he tries to be kind and little bit caring. Almost like a human being but really, he would like someday to live normal among the humans instead being a freak to them.

<BR>Sense Powers [75] [Level 4] - Balzar does have the ability to sense and track the presence of anyone that posses special powers.</BR>

<BR>Acrobatics [75] [Level 9] - Balzar is almost skilled acrobat. Adds a +5% per level to his Agility stat in terms of dodging.</BR>

<BR>Inaudible [75] [Level 2] - It's a bitch that he can talk anymore. But actually it brought something that he could use to his advantage. He doesn't resonate sound which could good for missions.</BR>

<BR>Telepathy(Mesmerism) [500] [Level 1] - The only known way now that Balzar's can communicate with anybody. Kado taught him how to use his telepathy for multiple targets, Illusions, remain Undetected & create links with others</BR>

<BR>Metal Elemental Sword [200] [Level 5] - The masamune blade called Shiki which he wields as his weapon of redemption. He created the blade for elemental metal at local weapon inventory. The blade is always with him.<BR>[+50] No need to generate<BR>

Weapon Skills [125] [Level 10] - Balzar learned how to use swords at a young age which was all part of his necro training. Throughtout the years his training with the sword had become better than ever. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat with his chosen weapon.</BR>

<BR>IQ [100] [Level 3] - Average IQ</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Fighting Skills [200] [Level 1] - Trained to be a fighting Necromonger. Balzar is a novice when fighting enemies. He wants to be a true Necro fighter someday. Adds a +10% to either his Agility or Accuracy stat per level while in close quarters combat.</BR>

Chaos Necromonger [+500] - Balzar is the first of his kind to survive the stigmata cancer which he was given major treatments. It changed his appearance completely. He has eyeballs on his shoulders, wrists & legs. The eyes on his forehead are gone giving clawed feet. Balzar's skin is completely grey & dark blue almost like a gargoyle. Which his true appearance is completely hidden under his CNM clothing. A Severly Non-Human Appearance of a Chaos Necromonger.</BR>

<BR>Necromonger Race [(Alien) +300] - The Necromonger race were born from the Anicent Lomac tribe. There called star pirates from the another galaxy centuries away from Planet Earth. The Necromonger were once slaves to Lomac tribes until the Necro resistance was formed. They took over planet N'Goltha and the race population started to grow.</BR>

<BR>Lost Sense [+300] - Balzar can't speak because upon arriving to Planet Earth, his voice box was crushed. He can't speak to human with his own necro voice which makes him a little angry at times.</BR>

<BR>Weak Immune System [+300] - Necromongers had weak immune system to humans and demons which they to take a special serum. Luckily for Balzar his necro father told him this "fruit punch" taken with this "aspirin" can create the serum faster than ever. If Balzar doesn't take he'll weaken considerably.</BR>

<BR>On a planet outside of the solar system. On Planet N"Goltha there has been a war between Necromongers and Lomac tribes and ancient war which has gone one in another part of space. Necromoncers were once slaves to the Ancient Lomac tribes which were traded for 1,000 pounds of an new substance called Nuclear gold. The first Necromonger was purchased Lomac warrior named Jax-ga and sent to work into the mines digging for unknown minerals among Planet N"Goltha. As time progress more and more Necromongers were sent to work but as times got worse most of the slaves refuse to work and were killed. The Lomac warriors were brutal against the Necromonger race the truth was the Lomacs destroyed their home planet as most of the race were rounded and sent to slave ships. Many Necromongers died because of some weren't fed and because none were allow the chance to rest. Lomacs were abusive against the Necromonger ordering them to work, loading dead bodies on trucks, slave purchasing and worse was killing each other for entertainment. Finally came the turning point when a necro child was coughing die to some disease and she was being whipped constantly by a lomac warrior. None of the other Necromongers were going to help the child but one of them saw enough and pushed the lomac off him. The lomac used a whistle to called others to help him with the savage slave because that necromonger wasn't following orders. The Necromonger had enough and started using his fighting skills to hurt some of the lomacs. Then as the other Necromongers were digging they saw that this was good hance to fight back and then started helping their friend. Many Necromongers started beating up the Lomac taking their weapons and started using them against their slave masters. The Necromongers forced the Lomacs into one spaceship but the necromonger children actually were smart and activated the self destruct on the ship. The Necromonger known as Kado Shadirath stood up and watched the explosion telling his race not to be afraid because they took their first step at freedom. The Necromongers actually drove up the rest of the Lomac tribes off Planet N"Goltha learning a horrible & devastating truth from the Lomac King Haison. The Lomacs actually created the Necromongers to be the greatest warriors but from the many betrayals plus the hatred the slave orders were given. The Necromongers used the Lomac's technology to finally eat, to grow but ultimate to survive upon this new planet. But like any civilization they needed someone to tell thm what to do and Kado Shadirath took the opportunity into his hands. He became the new king of Planet N'Goltha with this chance he knew their were going to be some hardships along the way. The Necromonger race dealt with the many burdens and pain that came along the way which their new king helping them into the future.</BR>

<BR>Balzar was born years later during the time when the Lomacs were arriving upon the planet trying to understand why the communication systems were down. The young child saw the scars of battle seeing the Lomac tribe being ambushed by the hundreds of his own people. The child didn't understand this until one of the Lomacs had him by the neck and the child stabbed him hard. The other necros saw this and then the king was appointing a new queen to the planet. Which Balzar would become the new prince to the planet as most Necros were honoring the child but some of them wanted to be bodyguards to the new prince. But their was something wrong with child which led to the prince into the first Chaos Necromonger of the Necro race. The doctors later discovered that the first ever queen Helana had the rare stigmata cancer passing it down to the prince. The conclusion was the prince was given the new treatment which upgraded him into a Chaos Necromonger. </BR>

<BR>A decade later the Necromonger race started creating stronger and powerful technology for themselves the new prince wanted to discover new planets. The king and queen agreed to Prince Balzar's request allowing to leave his royal duties and explore these planets. He was given a modified spaceship which upon blast off setting a course leading to Planet Earth. The ship landed on the planet as Balzar decided to discover what this planet was alone.</BR></FONT></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>[/dohtml]

Henuki - December 19, 2009 08:03 PM (GMT)

You've changed it, brilliant. Which means I can put your bio up now. Approved, btw I need to you reply to the pm i've sent you and let me know you've understood what i've brought up.