Jersey Shore’s Angelina Beats Up Snooki’s Boyfriend

Where do we even begin? Because Jersey Shore shenanigans completely fry us! Okay, the best place to start is right from the beginning. In this case it would be Snooki’s new boyfriendJeff Miranda‘s infamous magazine cover proposal. We doubt the lady in question makes the right choices (hello, arrest for disorderly conduct) but in this case Snooki, did good by saying thanks, but no thanks.

And, charming gentleman that he is, he had to respond to Angelina’s news (read: vitriol) in the only way he knew how. In Steppin’ Out, the same magazine he proposed to Snooki in, he stated eloquently, “Nobody cares about her anymore. She’s spreading lies about me to get attention. But she’s very jealous of me and Nicole (Snooki). She should just f**k off. She thinks I’m interested in her, but you would think if I were interested in her we would be dating. I’m not into her. She’s a b*tch.”

Oh and that’s not all. You didn’t think he would be succinct, did you? He added, “…I was never with her sexually. I had a friend who hooked up with her friend and that’s about it. I took a few pictures with her and she feel in love with me. She thought I was a sexy Guido. I tried to be nice to her, but she got the wrong idea. Now she’s jealous. She’s a cock blocker. She needs to get a life. I’m tired of her trash talking…”

Of course then Miss Angelina apparently smashed a microphone on Miranda’s face at at the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club in New York yesterday. She was filming a web broadcast with Chaunce Hayden when Miranda turned up and started sh*t up. Hayden revealed, “Jeff was yelling that Angelina was jealous of his relationship with Snooki and that she is trying to break them up so she can date him.”

Apparently Jeff didn’t try to defend himself because it all hit him (pun intended) by surprise. Hayden says, “He looked stunned. He stood up like he was going to hit her and a group of people stopped him. She took all the booze on the table and started pouring it in his face and blinded him. I never saw somebody get beat that bad.” Chaunce also said that his face was so swollen he couldn’t speak properly, even though he tried to mutter “I’m going to sue her.”

Woah. If this is true… then… Woah. I mean, we all know that Angelina is a slapper…but this is just insane.