[404] Author's note: This is a reflective piece that is more about my
interaction with XENA fandom and the way I think it has changed. Burbank
1997 was the beginning and Burbank 1998 brought it full circle. I would
still not trade any of the experiences I have had or the fabulous people I
have met. However, what I found from the responses to the questionnaire I
sent out was that I was not alone in the uneasy sensation I experienced at
Burbank 1998. I hope that if you disagree with this report you will be sure
to speak out.

[405] Somewhere out there in the vast archives of the Internet is my
Burbank 1997 Con report. I was thrilled, ecstatic, elated, energized and
astonished at the wonder that was involved in being a Hard Core NutBall
Xenite. A fan of this astonishing show, XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. This was my
first foray into such fandom and the experience left me electrified. So
much so that when the opportunity to attend other fan-fests and Creation
Conventions arose, I did not hesitate to buy the tickets and fly from coast
to coast to indulge this new fascination. How easy the decision to attend
Burbank 1998. Hoping that the unraveling I was witnessing on-line would
disappear in the face to face meeting of fans at the Burbank Con.

[406] Fast forward to Burbank 1998, an anniversary. The 'X' marking the
proverbial spot if you will. It was like a homecoming of sorts, but the
type of homecoming that made Thomas Wolfe state that you can't go home
again. I wondered if I was alone in this observation and from the
conversations that I had with my fellow con-goers that I had met last year
and knew through the Xenaverse, it did not seem that way. Something had
changed, has changed. Consider that the fan demographics are as varied and
unique as one is likely to find anywhere. Many of the fans spent between
$600.00 to over $1,000.00 to attend the Convention and this was not the
first Con they had attended.

[407] Many of the repeat con-goers I met indicated that attending the 1997
Burbank Convention (The first ever HERCULES/XENA Convention) influenced
their decision to attend other Creation Conventions and even fan-run
festivals. Surprisingly, it was not just the stars that were featured but
the opportunity to meet so many friends and fans that they had met on-line.
The chance "to meet others who shared mutual interests." As another fan
observed "I go to meet my on-line friends, actors are paid, friends
aren't." This sentiment was echoed by a popular bard, BatMorda, who
confessed that, "Stars are a plus but not the main reason I go... The
biggest buzz for me in the convention experience is meeting my on-line
friends and the people who read my stories." Dearcy indicated that
"chatting with other con-goers after the days festivities was far more
entertaining than the majority of the day's events."

[408] Yet, as I said, this year was not the same as Burbank 1997. This year
reflected more of the on-line rifts that have taken place. In the fandom
there has been a growing movement of competition between the characters and
the actors who portray them on the show. This competition has carried over
onto many of the mailing lists spawning many new, smaller lists that are
specifically oriented towards a character or an actor. Once upon a time the
prevailing cry of XENA fandom was the missive from the Warrior Princess
herself, Be Nice, this no longer seems to be the case. One observation by a
fan of both shows observed, "The fans were different in 1997. Everyone was
thrilled to see each other, even people they barely knew. By 1998 fans had
developed rifts. Convenient that Xena and Gab end up going through a rift
too... The rifts between the XENA and HERC fans and also just between the
factions of fans for each show sort of puts a cloud over every Con now.
That definitely wasn't there in Burbank 1997... If they were disappointed,
they weren't very vocal about it. Now...they shout it at the top of their
lungs." Another noted, "I noticed a lot more militant XENA fans who
ridiculed not only HERCULES but the HERCULES fans vociferously. This
disturbed me... Overall, I was underwhelmed by the attitude of the
attendees -- it was negative and 'me me me'." This was supported by another
fan who made the observation, "Xenites, in general, were ruder... When
there are fans that are rude, you can bet... they will turn out to be women
who (sadly) think that they are imitating Xena somehow, by being rude. As
if rude = tough." The flip observation was made by the HERCULES fans that
attended. It was noted that they had not "met with this kind of insular
junior high meanness from any other fan group, except the Xenites."

[409] This is not to say that everything was about rifts and division. I
heard that in the fan room members from the various fan clubs chatted and
swapped pictures. Yet, the pervasiveness of the division and the greediness
now of the fans cast a pall over Burbank 1998. One especially disturbing
manifestation of the 'more more more' syndrome was demonstrated in the
theft of two pictures that were a part of Creation's Premiere Photo Club
display. This has been discussed, the "Gimme" factor of the fans. When Lucy
did make her appearance on stage, a bit calmer, a bit more reserved than
the explosion she made last year, someone yelled out to her, "Just stand
there and look good." I was not alone in my embarrassment at the incredible
rudeness of such a statement. This woman has constantly been engaging and
giving to her fans, has done interview after interview, appearance after
appearance to publicize the show XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. That statement
seemed to set a tone for the rest of her appearance. The questions ranged
from the banal to incredibly invasive. Lucy Lawless is an engaging,
gracious young woman who struck me as having had to learn the price of
fame. Perhaps it is the nature of New Zealanders to be open and honest,
certainly Kevin Smith and Danielle Cormack exhibited the same candor and
humor that Lucy has often demonstrated in the past. The difference being
that Lucy has had more experience with the fanaticism of the fans and has
become a bit more guarded, this is pure conjecture on my part.

[410] Burbank 1998 had more of what the fans wanted and yet also lost
something that had made the fandom special. Creation Entertainment provided
as much as they could but there were those that thought the statement that
"next year will be even bigger" was more foreboding than reassuring.
Creation also is lucky to have Sharon Delaney and Julie Harter represent
their company to the fans. There were nothing but glowing reviews from the
XENA fans about the amount of time and effort that Sharon and Julie gave to
their jobs. Feedback like, "Sharon and Julie are the absolute greatest.
They really care." Another noted that, "The XENA Cons are becoming
predictable of course but because of the energy that Sharon and Julie
expend they surpass any other Creation Con I've attended." Further
commentary like, "XENA fandom is incredibly lucky to have these two women
working with us." The effects of Sharon and Julie's hard work does not go
unnoticed and in no way do the fans equate their dedication and
attentiveness with Creation. "Creation is Creation. They are out to make
money... Creation doesn't care about the fans, Sharon and Julie do."
Another sentiment, "I have mixed feelings about Creation. I adore Sharon
and Julie and think they are a godsend to the fans... As for the company as
a whole... It strikes me as an 'Evil Empire' thing. I don't think there is
any moneymaking avenue they wouldn't take... I get the impression that they
see the fans as moneymaking cattle to be herded and exploited." However, to
clarify a point, Creation does *not* issue the licenses for many of the
products, it is indeed Universal that doles those out. However, realizing
that they (Universal) do have a marketable product on their hands, the
influx of merchandise continues to grow. Unfortunately, most of the people
who are leaping onto the XENA bandwagon have little if any love for the
show and see it in purely capitalistic terms. Is this good or bad? I for
one am happy to spend my money on the quality items that are becoming
available. One side observation, back in Burbank 1997 I would have bought
anything and everything that came out and had XENA plastered on it, now, I
am willing to be a bit more discriminating in where I spend my dollar.
Another point I will have to acknowledge against Creation was the lack of
the HERCULES items. In general there was a sense of abandonment and anger
at Creation. Perhaps this was the difference too. Last year, the HERC fans
and the XENA fans embraced one another in this new world that was opening
up, this year there was no embracing. As a longtime HERCULES fan noted,
"This Con was a slap in the face for any fan of the series HERCULES."

[411] I came away from Burbank 1998 with a sense of sadness and mixed
feelings. Much like having a favorite band that I once saw weekly at the
bar down the street suddenly making it big and having the whole thing
spiral out of control away from me. As a fan of the show I am overjoyed at
the success that XENA enjoys, however, being around from way back when, I
miss the community and intimacy that I had stumbled upon and then realized
at Burbank 1997. I will watch the show until the very final episode is
aired, I will likely attend future festivals and conventions to visit with
the friends that I have made. I have met many warm, caring, intelligent,
generous individuals because of this show. Would I have traded this ride
for the world? Absolutely not. Sal_Fan summed it up best when he said, "I
just can't get over how much this show has meant to so many people." The
beauty of this show is that is does go on and it does affect people. My
hope is that the caring, compassion and mutual respect that marked the
early days of fandom between the fans and the stars of the show is what
remains as a hallmark of the fandom, not the later division and hostility.

[412] The show is growing, the fandom is growing. The halcyon days of way
back when are gone. I am still convinced that this show and these fans are
some of the best around. Not unlike Xena and Gabrielle, we are discovering
that the growth process is just painful.