We don't do the meet and greet thing for a myriad of reasons: too shy, too discrete, we want to know who we're meeting before we meet them, don't want the wrong people to see us, etc....

Bottom line: be patient- it works out in the end. At least it has for us.

New Bern NC

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Sj,

Have you attended any of the meet and greets or parties in the south or east bay? There are plenty of people looking to connect.

Emeryville CA

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Having trouble actually meeting people in person is not the 'new normal' it is the normal here. A significant percentage (well North of 50%) of people on here are not serious. You have pic collectors; guys pretending to be couples, couples where the guy is gung ho about the LS and the wife would rather be getting a root canal; couples where this is just a shared fantasy or a fantasy of just the hubby, etc. People will talk and talk on line for hours but when you say the magic words 'let's meet' they are suddenly 'busy' all the time.

What we do is to reach out to a couple to set a date a maximum of twice. If we say let's meet on a specific day and time and they say they are busy and do not suggest an alternative date we reach out once more and if again they are 'busy' and do not offer an alternative we send them a polite email. In the email we say we are interested in meeting but because of their being busy we will leave it to them to come back to us as to a date/time that works for them.

Wanna guess how many of those people we hear from again? ZERO.

Stamford CT

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It happens to most everyone. Schedules, kids, illness, jobs..etc.... We will go for days or a couple of weeks with not emails and then suddenly get 5 in one day. From that 2 might be attractive and then you struggle with scheduling. It can be really tough. I guess that is why parties and swing vacations are so popular.

hmm a swing cruise might be fun;)

Charles City VA

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Just tossing out the note..we haven't made any of it happen for us yet.

The Wife

Denham Springs LA

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I will say we probably will be that couple that drives the original poster to wondering.

We both work and not the 9 to 5 thing. Our schedule is hard and while we have one place listed as our address, in reality, my husband is working elsewhere and living there. I have been bouncing around so to be with him and to tend to life.

We have kids and many say that but when I do, I mean I have to look quickly at this site in blocks of time and probably can't manage a whole phone conversation in private. Private adult time has to be planned for and scheduled. I can see where other adults might struggle to get free time from work and activities at the same time they can line up a baby-sitter.

Once the scheduling is all handled, am I in the mood? Maybe not.

None of this sounds sexy but it is reality. While we might all wish we could step away from reality and into a world of perfect eroticism and sex; the wizard didn't exist in Oz and he doesn't here either.

Denham Springs LA

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Hey...try living on a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean where there are no parties, no clubs, very very few ill-attended Meet & Greets, island residents are petrified to share pictures, visitors are uber-flakey, etc. All we have is SLS and other websites to meet people. Talk about disappointing!

Chin up and hang in there. :)

Wailuku HI

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Thanks, all, for the comments. Guess we were just venting our frustrations.

Fredonia NY

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I don't think this is just an issue of being only soft players.

First, there are lots of other soft players on here, and lots of "wild" people who will play soft with new folks, at least for a while.

Second, you can say that you always play soft on the first playdate and mean that honestly, particularly if you had so much fun on the first playdate that you'd be willing to go further.

Third, it's always hard to make schedules fit around the holidays.

Fourth, if it just keeps dragging on, at some point it's a good idea to write it off as never gonna happen and move on. If everyone really wants it to happen, it will.

Kitty Hawk NC

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we have been here for awile also and no meets yet as we are still soft how do we meet the right people