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Acceptance Without Approval

Reaching the Sinner without Approving of His Sin

We cannot give approval to everyone we
meet. We meet people who wear clothing of which we cannot in good conscience
approve, use language of which we cannot approve, and live lifestyles of which
we cannot approve if we wish to be consistent with Scripture. Unfortunately, a
desire to disapprove that of which God disapproves has caused us to be
perceived as rejecting the individual whose behavior we cannot condone. It is
my belief that Scripture requires us to give acceptance even in those cases
where we cannot give approval.

The
Error of Not Accepting People

Sometimes we unintentionally give people
the impression that because we cannot approve of their behavior, we do not
approve of them. We do this by making the areas in which we disapprove become
personal. This, it seems to me, is a mistake. I am not the one who decided that
sodomy is perversion, adultery is ungodly, or drinking alcohol as a beverage is
sinful. These were God’s ideas. People who disobey God in these areas certainly
have a conflict with Him. I clearly wish to align myself on His side, but it is
not a matter between me and the sinner. It is a matter between the sinner and
God.

If we use the giving or withholding of
acceptance as a tool to modify people’s behavior, we run the risk of teaching
them to respond to us rather than teaching them to respond to God. The approach
of giving or withholding acceptance in order to encourage certain behaviors may
work for a while. Ultimately, however, we run the risk of the individual
becoming irritated with us, finding fault with us, or feeling like we are
trying to control their lives. This will not be the case if we have always
directed their attention back to God and urged them to make their decision in
order to please Him.

The
Exhortation to Acceptance

“Him
that is weak in the faith, receive ye” Romans 14:1a

1.
We should make everyone feel welcome. A person should not have to dress a
certain way, wear their hair a certain way, or end certain sinful behaviors to
be welcome in our services.

2.
We should make them feel wanted. I want drug addicts to come to our
church. I want drunkards to come to our church. I want people who live immoral
lives to come to our church. I believe that the power of the Word of God can
change their lives. I further believe that it is much more likely they will
make changes if they come to a good Bible-preaching church where they hear the
Word of God proclaimed on a regular basis than if they don’t.

3.
We should make people feel like they must do nothing in order to be accepted by
us.
In any church where the preacher proclaims the whole counsel of God, it will
soon become clear that there are many behaviors of which God and hence, the
preacher, do not approve. The preacher should work hard to make it equally
clear that he loves each individual no matter what their faults are and he
wants them to come to the church services. (This does not preclude Biblical
requirements for church discipline.) It seems to me that if we require certain
behaviors in order to demonstrate love, that our love is not true love. Love
which must be earned; love which must be maintained by certain behaviors, is
not unconditional love at all.

A magazine to which I subscribe said
that liberals are looking for heretics, and conservatives are looking for
converts. They meant that liberals had become so consumed with their
crusade for political correctness that they were always alert to attack anyone
(even someone sympathetic to them) who was not adhering strictly to the party
line. Conservatives, on the other hand were busy trying to convert people to
their beliefs. They saw each person who disagreed with them as an opportunity—a
chance to reach someone. It seems to me that in the church today, we would do
well to spend a bit more time looking for converts and a bit less looking for
heretics.

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