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3 Answers
3

I agree with Michael, neither ¿me explico? or ¿me entiendes? are bad choices.

I would say that ¿me entiendes? would be the one I would use.

On the other hand ¿estamos? may be used based on the country/cultural context you are. I don't think I have ever used nor have I heard too many people use ¿estamos? to ask if I'm understanding something.

Having said that, I disagree with your premise: I don't think you're putting either your ability to explain or your interlocutor's ability to understand in doubt by asking ¿me explico? or ¿me entiendes?, especially if you're dealing with complicated concepts.