Yeah, picture it, Kevin Spacey as John Doe from Seven, with his fingerprints cut off and everything. Well, it’s not like he can have a maid come to his apartment, right? So, either the place is covered in dust or he cleans it himself. Now, imagine him stocking up on cleaning supplies and putting them in his creepy apartment. We’ll show the neon red cross over his bed and the bookshelves full of the composition notebooks. People will love it.

But it doesn’t really make you laugh.

Even the laundry room where he keeps the bleach is totally dark and creepy. Come on, that’s funny.

I mean, maybe as a visual, but there’s not really a punch line.

We can make it like a fake commercial or something. You know, “Even serial killers prefer Clorox.” I mean, we’ll work on the line, but that’s the idea.

Do you think people even remember the movie? It’s been almost twenty years, I’d say.

Come on. It sticks with you. I still hear people talking about that strap-on knife dick thing.

Ok. Which is better: Cleaning his place in the near darkness or in fluorescent lighting?