Green Room

President Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Alvin Greene: The Three Economic Stooges

Evidently, not only are Democrats not creating or saving jobs, but it appears as if they are in cahoots to put The Onion out of business. You see, it is impossible to satirize people who are self-parodies themselves. The latest example is Alvin Greene, the current Democrat candidate for Senator in South Carolina, who recently announced in an interview with The Guardian his plan to bring jobs to my home state of South Carolina. His candidacy itself is schadenfreude-licious, but he somehow managed to make it even more so, with his grand job creation idea, as follows:

Said Greene: “Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That’s something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It’s not something a typical person would bring up. That’s something that could happen, that makes sense. It’s not a joke.”

Oh, dear. Bless his heart! Do you know what the worst part is, though? The saddest part is that Alvin Greene’s job creation idea is still better than any that President Obama, or any of the current Democratic leaders, have offered.

At least toy making jobs actually exist, unlike Obama’s nebulously defined, phantom “green jobs”. And what is Obama’s plan for job recovery? To go out and talk about how super his “Recovery Act”, also known as the boondoggle stimulus package, really is.

President Barack Obama and his team are trying to sell Americans on an economic recovery this summer, but the economy is stubbornly refusing to cooperate.

Obama and his Cabinet officials will fan out across the country over the next few days to spread the message to voters about how effective their $787 billion recovery plan has been, an effort they’re calling “recovery summer.”

To be fair, at least they are creating and saving a few teleprompter operator jobs. Sure, the economy isn’t cooperating, but that’s really our own fault, explained by Dean Baker of the Center for Economic and Policy Research:

Obama and his team did not do a strong job of communicating the necessity of the steps they took, and they have not been effective in convincing the country the situation would be much worse had Obama not pressed forward with his stimulus, he said.

“People don’t understand what the stimulus is about,” said Baker, who advocated for a more robust stimulus package. “He just really lost that debate.

You see, we are just too stupid to understand that it’s actually awesome. Jobs Shmobs. It’s nuanced! We rubes just don’t get that. Much like how we must not understand Nancy Pelosi’s brilliant grasp of economics.

Let me say that unemployment insurance… is one of the biggest stimuluses (sic) to our economy. Economists will tell you, this money is spent quickly. It injects demand into the economy, and it’s job creating. It creates jobs faster than almost any other initiative you can name.

Um. What? How on earth does she keep a straight face saying things like that? Oh, yeah. The botox thing. Which makes sense now. It’s sort of a job requirement for her. Speaker Pelosi, I’m no economics expert but I’m pretty sure that the people collecting unemployment checks are not using that money to start up small businesses and hire people. You see, Speaker Pelosi, if you want to create jobs, the people who actually create jobs need money. Hey, you know what does that? Those icky capital gains tax cuts.

Obama promised a “laser like focus on jobs”. Sure. If by laser like, he meant utterly incompetent and inept.

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Actually she is right about unemployment benefits and that assertion is supported by economists. Those payments generally go directly into circulation since most unemployed people spend the money rather than saving it. If you don’t like the that benefit I think the better argument against it is that those collecting the benefit are less likely to work hard looking for another job.

Actually, I’d be more likely to buy a Pelousy doll if it had a cert that it contained a trace amount of her body. This could include a fingernail clipping, a strand of hair, or a discarded botox injection needle.

You see, it is a tenet of Voodoo (or its modern incarnation Santeria) that a representation of a person with a physical trace can be affected by curses. Sticking pins into a doll can thus cause pain if done properly.

It sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus, but what the heck. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Besides, I already curse her regularly.

You see, we are just too stupid to understand that it’s actually awesome. Jobs Shmobs. It’s nuanced! We rubes just don’t get that. Much like how we must not understand Nancy Pelosi’s brilliant grasp of economics.

Nancy Pelosi has just drunk too much of that wine of hers, has just been far too well doled over by first, her father and second, her husband, and had far too much Botox and pain killers (all that surgery she’s had) to have maintained any grey matter worth fighting for.

Nancy Pelosi is simple minded and worse, she won’t admit it, much as many a simple minded person won’t.

Economics 101 and all aside (your allegations are correct that financially stressed people tend to spend all that they have when they have it), economically stressed people, mostly the unemployed, need more than they receive. So increased unemployment CREATES MORE economic deprivation by way of increased demand for government doles (various), AND, of course, the obvious, increased unemployment decreases productivity, so the cycle is entirely an ongoing negative loop downard.

Pelosi’s just trying out her new outfit with that statement. She HAS to say SOMEthing that her voters will rally over and that is, “more money from someone else”.

Otherwise, Pelosi’s skills in economics are absent. She blathers well, she tears up, she chokes and she ridicules but she is entirely lacking in academic skills.

Actually she is right about unemployment benefits and that assertion is supported by economists. Those payments generally go directly into circulation since most unemployed people spend the money rather than saving it. If you don’t like the that benefit I think the better argument against it is that those collecting the benefit are less likely to work hard looking for another job.

Sorry Unemployment benefits dont create jobs! There is no new demand for goods because one gets a unemployment check! They spend it on food, the same food they ate when they were paid by real employers. Motor Homes and 67″ TV’s they are not buying unless they live in CA!
NY unemployment is $430 max per week before taxes! ( $405 + $25 Obama cash) We are not getting rich, we want jobs!
She is never right!!!!!

Mr. Greene is no less the brainiac than Pelosi, who’s a heartbeat and an idiot away from the presidency. At least the guy seems to be honest, which is a hell of a lot more than we can say about the others.