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Thought it was not going to end, I mean I have had major surgeries and have recovered in less than 7 days, but this seemed unending. The pain in the stomach and rumbling gasses showed no sign of ceasing even for a minute. It was (is) like a mighty river gushing down my large intestine followed by thunderous sounds of gasses that followed. Finally on Tuesday after having taken no liquid through my mouth for 7 days, the colonoscopy sigmoidoscopy happened (third time lucky) and I was let go from the hospital. The doctor said “it doesn’t seem like a tumor, my be fibrosis”. But whatever the case My faith is on God, I for one believe that cancer is defeated, though I haven’t heard from doctors officially this is my faith. I can’t take it no more. Now that I am back home waiting for Wednesday to come with a confidence that God has altered cancer’s path and the biopsy result will be benign. Wait for me to announce it officially.

While I was in the hospital noticed several cases that were terminal and some of them who just diagnosed with cancer. One of the terminally ill patient is a Pakistani National, though I picked up a fight with him over a chair (as chairs are scarce at HMJCS) later we became friends. He too has colon cancer and doctors told him that there is nothing they can do anymore. It was depressing to watch him sit on the chair on the corridor and lost in thoughts. It must be really hard when the family is in Pakistan and he is facing cancer alone. I pray to God that He makes way for this child of His.

Another case is of an Egyptian national who is just 34-year-old and has been diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Though he looked confident that this is just a small disruption of his normal life, on the second day he grew more serious as Doctors explained to him what he is about to undergo. Upon discovering that I am a colorectal cancer patient he tried to get as much information from me about the disease and the changes in life, though I tried to explain much, as I haven’t had anything to drink for 7 days my throat was drying fast and I am not sure if we crossed the English language accent barrier.

One thing I liked about the hospital is the utmost care taken by the staff, though racial tensions remain between staff (which are visible sometimes) no stone is upturned when it comes to treating the patients, only that citing a doctor is a rarity if not for the routine rounds.

So that’s it for now, I will keep you my readers updated about the latest. Meanwhile still no lead on my expiring residence, but that is a minor issue, I know God’s hands are not too short to grant wishes of his faithful.

Small update: My colonoscopy didn’t happen on thursday as it was planned. Things went wrong after I started to take ,GolyTelly’ to induce diarrehea to clear my bowels. I was so exhausted and bloated, my wife decided to take me to KCCC casualty. It was a wise decision, I was put on medications and admitted since my colonoscopy was scheduled next day.

But Endoscopist couldn’t get through the blocked anal passage, as I could see (on monitor) the blockage was really severe and Doctor advised to do the proceedure on Sunday under general anastatia.

So I got stuck at KCCC, which is really not bad as the staff take utmost care of you and unlike India the hospital is spik and span. I hope know I am in good hands, last night there was a doubt and God opened my eyes with this message

“This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord” (NIV)”

Now there is no doubt in my mind that God is at work and this shall pass like a bad dream.

I am writing this from KCCC, as I was entering the hospital saw a young guy smoking outside the main entance. Though I am a person who minds his own business, somehow automatically my hands went in ‘wtf’ action. Despite of wanting to beat the crap out of him, I put up a smile and said “this is cancer hospital” and the guy callously replied “sho sowwi” (what can be done)

I can’t believe people are so ignorant and utterly disrespectful to the people dying/fighting cancer, that too at a cancer hospital. I really hope there is a special place in hell for such people.

A simple sigmoidoscopy would have eased a lot of my misery, I was having fissure problems in early 2010, I kept going to one Dr Katimini Kanavati at New International Clinic Kuwait for 6 months, all he did was put his finger up my anus every 15 days and prescribe Daflon. Then finally I changed the hospital (only when Dr K quit his job) to Dar Al shifa where they operated me immediately but didn’t do any further investigation during/after surgery, had they done a simple sigmoidoscopy during the surgery the tumor which was sitting right at the edge of my rectum would have been discovered and I would have not had a fisserectomy but a proper Lower Anterior resection instead. It was only when I started bleeding severely after 6 months of fissurectomy doctors at Dar Al Shifa decided to do a colonoscopy and discover the malignant tumor. By now the tumor had spread to other parts and my life turned upside down to a level of no coming back. All I needed was one simple sigmoidoscopy, and the private hospitals in Kuwait failed me.

So that’s the state of health care in private hospitals in Kuwait, I wonder how many lives need to be sacrificed before govt allows private hospitals to run oncology department in their full strength. I am not complaining about KCCC (Kuwait cancer control Center), they are doing the best to their ability given the sheer number cancer patients lineup every morning. But I can’t understand why are private hospitals denied a chance to treat (financially able) cancer patients. I ran a search for Oncologist Kuwait on google, what is surprising is there is NONE (except Dr A Behbehaniat Al Salam Hospital), I find this utterly unbelievable as the number of cancer patients ever-increasing every year I wonder how much KCCC alone can handle. Right now I am under post surgery/chemotherapy depression, and I have no doctors to turn to, as going to KCCC is definitely not an option as they offer little or NO support for depression, patients are left on their own (and God) to deal with it. Also it is very exhausting to visit KCCC as you have to reach there as early as 6 am, if you are late by an hour appointments are difficult to get. I guess this is the reason Kuwaitis go abroad for treatment. Even I prefer to go to India for treatment because ‘your oncologist’ is available 24X7, and there is a vast difference in the moral support the oncologist provides in Kuwait and India (or elsewhere).

So yes, Right now I am depressed and venting my frustration here because I have no doctors (oncologist in particular) that I can consult and share my fears. I guess that is the case of every expat/local cancer patient in Kuwait. If cancer won’t kill us, depression sure will.

Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe .. I am feeling sick. There is something wrong with me, it’s the third day since I have been working the night shift during Ramadan. First, I am so weak since the liver surgery that I don’t have the stamina in me anymore to sit late nights, especially when the night shift during Ramadan nds at 1am, I am exhausted by the time I reach home. 5 hours of sleep during last two days has already taking its toll on my body. Today I can barely keep my eyes open at work.

Second, I am worried, so worried that depression is written all over my face. Marina mall is filled with ignorant imbeciles who are forcing Second hand/ sidestream smoke into my fragile lungs. Not enough that they are smoking in the corridors sometimes they even come inside the shop with cigarettes. Also Friday’s dust storm left me wondering what if the air that I am breathing is killing me? So I ran a search, according to this blog I am doomed, Kuwait ranks among 10 most polluted cities in the world beacuse of all the smoke from refineries and dust storm. I wonder if this is the reason KCCC is full of cancer patients every morning.

What choice do I have now? I can quit my retail job and find a job in a non-smoking environment (or sit at home even but I have no clue about the pollution in the air that I breathe outside the mall. God help us all…