Leaving the Mormon church after years of being a Mormon is difficult

Hello Eric,

You are free to post this if you think it is at all useful (yes, under
anonymity...and I know...spineless...but, heck, look below at all the
issues I am dealing with). Your comments to me are appreciated as I haven't
conversed with any one who can understand my situation besides my wife.

Your page helped me understand that other people are going through a similar
experience to me. I recently needed to know I wasn't alone when my wife and
I woke up and realized the LDS church indoctrinates its members with many
false teachings. I won't give you another life travel log, but thought I'd
instead demonstrate why I think it is so difficult to leave the Mormon
faith.

I've been going through a post-Mormon experience with my wife and family for
about 4 months now [May 1996] (it was completely unexpected, at least for us). My wife
and kids have been able to adjust well to a Christian life during this time.
However, I've continued to struggle off-and-on with how I could have such
strong beliefs that the LDS church is false yet still have the Church
continually on my mind.

Ironically, most non-Mormons wonder why my exodus has affected me so deeply.
They figure, "If it Mormonism was working for your family, what was the
problem?" (A lot of Mormons have said the same thing.) It seems that the
former Mormon has very few people who understand.

I wrote down some thoughts about the Mormon perspective. This has helped me
see why it's so difficult to leave the LDS church. These points are all
official doctrines of the Church and perspectives that are regularly
ingrained into the membership. What blows me away now is that maintaining
just a couple of these perspectives often keeps a Mormon in the Church.
Imagine (I guess you already have) how difficult it is to recover from a few
of these faulty perspectives, let alone all of them!

As a Mormon you believe that (in no particular order)...

Historical facts and opinions which go contrary to official Mormon
teachings are by definition false and unworthy of study because they do not
promote the your faith in the Church.

The final test of truthfulness is if you feel good about an issue
("burning in the bosom", warmth, elation).

Joseph Smith has done more for you and all of mankind than anyone, except
Jesus Christ.

The Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, and D&C never contradict
themselves or the Bible. They are all in perfect agreement. You accept at
least one of the various explanations of the Church leaders.

The Bible has been altered by evil and inept men and is therefore
unreliable (on its own) as the final word on Christian doctrine.

Having been to the temple, you are 95% percent of the way to the Celestial
Kingdom and Godhood. You just need to endure to the end.

The secret temple ceremony is the same as was practiced in ancient Israel
(and maybe even in the pyramids of Egypt, according to some Mormon
apologetics). The Masons received elements of the ceremonies through an
uninterrupted chain of masons, beginning with the masons of the temple of
Solomon. God told Joseph Smith how to perform the ceremonies after Joseph
saw the Masons do something similar.

The Church's doctrinal stance of polygamy, blacks and the priesthood, and
the nature of God haven't changed in any significant way over the years
since the Church began. For that matter, not a single significant doctrinal
issue has changed.

It's OK for God to encourage man to commit deceit as he did when telling
Abraham (in the Mormons' Book of Abraham) to deceive Pharaoh about his wife
Sarah. God can do whatever he wants through his servants, even if it
involves deceit. Joseph Smith (and more recent Apostles) has said that what
is wrong in one circumstance can sometimes be, and often is, right under
another. (Note: A very conservative Mormon may even assert that Abraham did
not deceive Pharaoh in any way, and thereby brush aside having to deal with
the issue.)

Non-Mormons belong to the Church of the Devil as it states in 2 Nephi,
even (especially?) those that profess Christianity.

When an Apostle or Prophet says something that is accepted to be true, he
is directly inspired by God. When he says something that turns out to be
false, he was speaking as a man. But either way, it's no to matter you. These
men will never lead you astray.

And you believe that...

The Book of Mormon is true and Joseph Smith was a prophet, and, since it
comes from the Church, the Church and all its doctrines must be true. OR The
Church must be true because it has had a good influence on your family. This
helps you accept its official history and doctrines as being the truth.

The unique doctrines and ceremonies that you have as a Mormon are
mandatory for the Godhood, to which you aspire. Without these things, you'd
be kicking yourself for the eternities saying something like, "If only I had
fully accepted the doctrine of the LDS Church, then I could have become a
God."

Hypothetically, if the LDS church weren't true, no other organization
could possibly have truth since you already believe that they are all false
(interesting logic, eh). If the Mormon church is false, then you are
convinced that all churches devoid of truth.

Any opposing forces to the Church help prove to you that the Church must
be true, especially in light of the Book of Mormon teachings on opposition.

Anything written by a former Mormon must be false or, at best, unreliable.
Bottom line, you believe that former Mormons have evil intentions.

Former Mormons leave the Church because of serious sin. Those who leave
the Church in reality know that the Church is true and are liars just like
the Book of Mormon anti-Christs.

You have so many authorized Church books to read and Church jobs to do
that you don't have time or inclination to read any information that may go
contrary to the Church.

Even if the Mormon church weren't true, it teaches good values to your
family and that's good enough.