ACTIVE COMMUNICATION REQUIRES ONE PERSON TO TALK AND THE OTHER TO LISTEN..AND BOTH TO DO THEIR PART WELL Listening is the other half of communication. Our first though, when we think about communication, may be to consider the speaker’s ability to convey ideas effectively. What we forget is that without a listener the speaker may as well be talking to …

One of the most concerning patterns that I have noticed in several of the struggling couples I have been working with lately is that they have an apathetic attitude toward their relationships. They feel that if they pretend that “we are doing fine”, they will not have to do the hard work to change the relationship. They are often not …

As long as relationships exist, conflicts and disagreements will always be part of them. As soon as you put two human beings together, you have two cultures, two backgrounds, two frame of reference, two mindset, two families of origin, two ways of doing things etc. Conflicts and disagreements are unavoidable. Depending of the family of origin and even the culture …

Working on Intimate Communication Many couples go for months or years without having deep and intimate talks. They live with silence and feel emotionally estranged from the person to whom they have committed themselves. They want the closeness they expected when their relationship began, but they don’t know how to get there. The walls seem too high. They hope that …

Telling the Truth Truth is difficult for many of us. We all engage in a bit of self-deception in our lives. There are things about ourselves that we have not been able to examine or accept. We have difficulty in admitting our flaws – even to ourselves, much more so to our partners. Sometimes we guard our intimate feelings because …

Listening to the Truth: If you want your partner to be honest with you, you have to be a good listener. Communication is a two-way process. A good listener – is nonjudgmental and open-minded; doesn’t jump to conclusions; understands that the truth comes out a little at the time, not all at once; doesn’t try to impose his or her …

Effective Communication & Quality Relationships Communication is at the center of relationships. The quality of a relationship depends on the quality of the communication between the two partners. The most treasured times within a relationship are those in which we tap into our partner’s authenticity with heartfelt communication – those times when we talk truthfully. Unfortunately, these moments come far …

The Stage of Deeper Sharing When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this …

Skills for Creating a Healthy Relationship John Gottman, in his book “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail”, points out four strategies for improving relationships. Most of us are not especially adept at these skills, especially when we enter into a significant life relationship, but learning them gives us a good chance to increase the success of both our relationship and our total …

Making Positive Relationship Changes There is still hope for couples who find themselves in destructive patterns, but they must learn new skills. Consulting with a trained therapist is generally the most effective way to do this, and I can help. One skill to learn is how to avoid flooding, which is a feeling of being overwhelmed by your partner’s negativity …