In the ongoing effort to curb the disquieting rash of texting-while-driving incidents, transportation officials in Alberta have rolled out a glossy new $380,000 radio, billboard, and online ad-campaign warning drivers not to be distracted by their luminescent nethers while merging onto the highway.

According to Donna Babchishin of Alberta Transportation, the goal of the campaign is to be as eye-catching as possible so people start ruminating about the inherent dangers of simultaneously making Facebook status updates and trying to drive. She explained,

Our goal is to get their attention, and to ultimately save lives, and the way to do that was to come up with a campaign that spoke to them and generated conversation.

The campaign is being unleashed on Alberta motorists in two parts. First come the crotch-glo billboards, followed closely by another set of ads that will make people think about just how long it takes to craft the perfect text for lying to their friends about how long it will take them to pick their way through rush-hour traffic to an agreed-upon happy hour meeting place.

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Unsurprisingly, Babchishin says that the ads are geared towards a younger demographic — the highest rate of distracted driving convictions are, according to Babchishin, men ages 25 to 34. Which brings us to the most interesting phase of Alberta's distracted-driving ad campaign: talking urinal pucks. Enjoy your pee, fellas, and remember — distracted urinating may give you a damp pant leg, but distracted driving kills.