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Item Description

Title

Issues

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yearb_1989_263.jpg

Transcript

Marriage: Why wait?
I often find my Indian background intriguing, and
enjoy sharing it with those who are curious. I
wasn't always at peace with the customs and they
were not always interesting — sometimes actually
— more like strange — to others.
Along with otherwise great childhood memories, I
remember the troubles I had in eating my own
Inidan food in front of ^^^^
the children I went to elementary school with.
Because in my religion
— Jainism — we do not
believe in eating any
meat, I could only eat
purely vegetarian food,
which was extremely
difficult to get in the prepared school lunches. I
would either have to
bring Indian food to
school, or walk home for
lunch. The other children teased me often
about what I was eating,
to the point where I
would rather walk home
alone, eat, and return to
school alone, rather
"I felt I had to tell
guys who wanted to
call me 'just to talk/
that they shouldn't,
unless it was
school-related.''
than try to explain the
foods to closed ears. This was ten years ago, and I
admit there wasn't as much international awareness as there is today. Nowadays, it is with PRIDE
that I tell people I am vegetarian and describe the
Indian foods that I eat on campus almost everyday.
Another aspect of Indian customs which I had
trouble explaining to others, as well as understanding myself, was the traditional views on dating and
marriage.
The Indian belief is that youths should not be
burdened with looking for a life-long partner, until
they're ready, and not totally without the help of
their parents. Many Westerners, who start "going
out" at earlier and earlier ages, could not believe
that my Indian friends and I, did not have and were
not looking for "boyfriends." The typical response
was "why don't your parents let you date?" Despite
my own wish not to get invovled in dating, I often
doubted whether anyone would even be interested
in me, anyway, since that's all I ever recall other
girls worrying about.
Looking back now, I shouldn't have worried,
think I was very happy not to have to worry about
dating, etc., when many
others that I knew
would go through
"break-up's, bad dates,
and periods without
dates, especially for a
school-related function.
I did feel silly sometimes, because I felt I
had to tell guys who
wanted to call me at
home "just to talk" that
they shouldn't unless it
was school-related.
Everyday friendships
with guys would definitely raise eyebrows.
But because I was very
active in organizations, I
had to communicate
with many people, so it
wasn't that I was devoid
of communication with the opposite sex."
The custom of "Arranged Marriages" has been
the most difficult topic for me to explain. But, discussions with my parents have help me better understand and detail this time-honored process to
others.
Many have this preconceived notion of some fifteen-year-old girl married off to a twenty-year-olc
guy whom she has never seen until the wedding
night. Unbelievingly, this previous sentence has
come out word-for-word from a middle school social
science text as a discussion point about Indian
culture. Though this scenario may have been common in my great-grandmother's time, things have
evolved somewhat.
312 ■ Issues