Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Chalo Bombay

Did I ever mention to you that I'll be flying out of Baltimore on 25th December for good ol' Bombay? Did I? If I did, I would like you to forget it. And remember this - I'll be flying out 10th Dec. Talk about sudden change of plans, which gives me more than a good month in Bombay.

However, before I land in Mumbai there are a few worries.

- I have to spend a good 13 hours in London between flights. And I am too lazy to drive down to NYC and get a UK Visa so I could get out and tour the city. Hence the the biggest question of my life is how do I entertain myself at the airport. No, I cant get drunk (dont ask, I have given up drinking alcohol). A good option is to walk up the entire airport repeatedly for 13 hours and get all the exercise my body has missed out on in the last 5 years. I will be carrying this book, "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" to keep me entertained.

- Altho I am not flying Air India this time, I am hoping I wont come across another iJalpa. Oh well, if I do, it'll be entertainment for you guys.

- Since I am leaving in a rather unexpected manner, I have been burdened with this workload which almost makes me feel like postponing my trip. I however, shall survive (if my boss is reading this, it translates to I shall finish my assigned tasks).

Talking about entertainment, there are a few things which I am thinking on.

- Freak out the Brits! Brush my teeth at the airport restroom and splash toothpaste all over the mirror when some well mannered Britisher stands next to me.

- Sit cross legged on the floor, spread a cloth and lay out food on it. Eat with my bare hands (south Indian style, lick the rassam from my elbow to the wrist)

- Eat tons of onions and garlic and bug the guy next to me about the functionality of the iPod.

- Ask every person I come across if the Big Ben actually speaks Gujarati.

- Act like Borat. "Hello, my name is Apoorva. In my country we make the babies in airport. Is good in UK?"

Once in Mumbai, we should have a blogger meet! I already have a few people lined up on my radar. Anyone else who wants to swing by, lemme know. We could meet over coffee (send me an email if you are up for it and whether you will pay for my coffee - the later will the the decider).

-Take upon yourself the challenge to sneak a lighter through security. If you fail the first time, get out again, buy another lighter, and try again. Keep doing it until you succeed.

-If you are not questioned in your above attempts, deliberately refuse to put the notebook through the X-Ray scanner, since it goes against your religious beliefs. I assure you, you will be taken into a room, questioned for atleast 3 hours, with all your background documents in front of them. You'll be amazed at the amount of files that they can pull up on you.

-For more fun, draw a henna tatoo on your forearm in Arabic font. When they ask you for a translation, tell the truth that it is just a scribble. A lot of interpretors will be brought in to verify what it means. Some idiot might actually interpret it; that's not good.

6 hrs easy! And then they'll apologize for their conduct, and give you a 'free coffee and donut'; orange juice if you are lucky.

The above suggestion results in killing time or serving time, and is to be attempted only by professionals :P

okay. *breathe* south indians DO NOT LICK RASSAM/SAMBAR FROM ELBOW TO WRIST.bigot!!!!

great ajo. u just HAD to go to mumbai in december instead of may.NOW who am i going to con into buying me food, taking me shopping and dropping me home!?!WHO?-mahi sneaks a glance in abhi's direction-heh heh heh.