A New Year…

It’s been more than a year since I last gave my Mom a hug.
So the first is still on my mind fairly often, but with time, memories turn to smiles rather than gnashing of teeth. I still want to pick up the phone from time to time to say hi and see how things are going on at Immanuel, but I stop myself and just breath, realizing that life will never be the same.

It’s been more than a year since I’ve seen close friends.
It’s been a while since I’ve seen several close friends. Relating to my first though, several folks clammed up and weren’t certain what to do when Mom passed away. Several didn’t know what to say. Understandably, but just swinging by the house to say hello or calling would have been something that would have blown me away. Instead, while there seemed to be a ridiculous outpouring of sorrow on Facebook, I can’t say that there was one person that dropped by the house to share a meal or to say hello and see how I was doing. Granted, in some respects, I can’t blame them since I was over taking care of my dad through sometime part way into December.
Now that’s not to say that all friends have wandered disregarded me, but I guess it seems like “most” did. As time has gone by, some folks have come out of the woodwork to hang out – the “some” is relatively small. If anything I turn to my colleagues at work – some of them knew the full extent as to what had transpired, others just thought that there was an accident (hello, awkward!). These folks, while some not knowing Christ, were utilized by Him, providing care and friendship I would have suspected my Christian brothers would have rushed forward to provide – and people wonder why it’s hard to trust “christians” when they’re not true to the character of “Christians”.

It’s been more than a year since I’ve had the opportunity to really just be me.
Maybe I’m a little off on timelines, but it’s been a while since I feel I”ve had the opportunity to actually just be the kid that I like to be. In some respects I was able to be a kid in Nashville, TN over the past year, but not to just kick back and relax.

What’s that? You’ve got a vacation coming up?If only. Though I suppose a trip to Hawaii would be acceptable to get away and just kick back, relax and breath.

So what are you looking to do this January of 2010?

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12 thoughts on “A New Year…”

Well I would have come by but I have no idea where you live Dan! Alas I understand wondering where the christian friends are at a time when you really need them. Been there done that decided to lean on GOD fully, just because a person knows christ does not mean they will act christlike.

I am sorry I could not be there more for you, although the husband, kiddo and I would gladly stop by if only we knew where you lived!

As far as this year goes a nice long vacation with Ben and Fenton is long overdue will be going to the beach in June after th school year gets out!

What Katherine said — it’s so hard to keep track of where everybody is. (Especially when one is as wretched a long-distance driver as I am.) But I’ve thought of you and prayed for you. There’ve been moments during the pageants when the pain has suddenly hit and I’ve thought, “I miss Carolyn so much! She should be here!!” That must be only the tiniest fraction of how you’ve felt. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve gone through. But I’m glad memories are starting to turn to smiles.

We’ve had some good conversations over the last year and I think you know that I can honestly say I know how you feel. The grief, the sorrow, the tears…it comes in waves, when you are least expecting it and you’re left wondering how to get back to whatever normal life is. Spirtually, I don’t know what I really believe in, but I hope that even though I don’t consider myself a Christian, that I can still be someone you can lean on. I’m here if you need me Dan.

We’ve had some good conversations over the last year and I think you know that I can honestly say I know how you feel. The grief, the sorrow, the tears…it comes in waves, when you are least expecting it and you’re left wondering how to get back to whatever normal life is. Spirtually, I don’t know what I really believe in, but I hope that even though I don’t consider myself a Christian, that I can still be someone you can lean on. I’m here if you need me Dan.