Dad, can I have twenty bucks? Sure. Wait - Don't I have to get a lecture first? Naw. I'm too tired. Still, I feel like I should earn your money. Step around here and I'll glare at you, if that'll help.

So, the woman in the seat next to her was traveling with an emotional support chicken! Are you serious? Yes! And somewhere over Nova Scotia, it laid an egg! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Well, I should go start dinner. Yeah, and I have a ton of homework. Click! Flink! My best eye contact with Jeremy happens via satellite.

Exit bedroom. Make sharp left turn. In four feet, make a left turn and proceed down the stairs. Using caution, merge into the hallway. Turn right. You have arrived at your destination. And all you did was type in cash advance? Amazing right?

Mom, could I have a small after-Halloween party? I'd love that! I'll base some pumpkin cookies if you'll help me think of a costume to wear! How about "The Invisible Woman"? Careful, or your party could disappear, too.

Here you go, mom. Thanks, Jeremy. What is all this junk? Mostly things we're saving for you. These boxes are your elementary school papers and art projects. That trunk is where I store you middle and high school memorabilia. And we thought you'd want all this old furniture, plus grandma's china cabinet and knicknacks for your first apartment! Mom, my first "apartment" will be a backpack that I carry around the world between gigs. Our attic has been a living lie.

I forgot to put the trash cans out again. Sorry. Jeremy â€¦ And I didn't have time to pick up the salad stuff for dinner. Plus I scraped your car door again. When you come in here to yell at me, can you bring me some chips and salsa?

I'm going out. Where? Nowhere. Is there a party at this "nowhere"? What?? I'm just asking if you're going to a party that you don't want me to know about. Mo-om! So you are NOT going to a party â€¦ Is that correct? Yeth. Does mom always know the truth? I'd be lying if I said she doesn't.

So I told my parents that I'm too old to have a weekend curfew anymore. And â€¦ ? And to prove my maturity, I offered to take on more responsibilities. And â€¦ ? And now they're making me do stuff! Epic backfire, dude.

Mom, I think I'm too old to have a curfew. Is that so? Yeah. And I'm ready to take on more responsibility around here. Great. Come help your dad and me retile the bathroom. ON the other hand, a curfew can be a good thing!

Jeremy! You're half an hour past curfew! Sorry. C'mon, man! It really hurts your mother when you do this. Is that why she's snorting? Z. No, that's from the glass of Chardonnay I applied to the injury.

I can't believe that you started and ended a relationship between classes! It worked. There was no expense, no wasted time, no meeting the parents â€¦ no making out. I never said it was a perfect system.

Jeremy! What? Where are you? Out here. Where's here?? I'm watching tv. No, you're not! The televisions isn't even on! Ha! Ha! Who watched tv on a television anymore? I'm deciding whether to downsize our home or throttle our teenager. Do we have to choose?

So tell me about the bet you lost. It was just a music trivia thing. The loser has to wear his dad's clothes to school. Not exactly a high-stakes wager. Really? If it gets windy, I could be flapped to death!