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As with any Surly review, there are some unforgettable turns of phrase. To some, they're going to be extremely offensive. To others, they will be brilliant and hilarious. To still others, they'll be all of the above. That's the power of The Surly Gourmand.

"Lecosho is so goddamned awesome, Jesus Christ obviously came back from the dead to eat there. Unfortunately, Jesus's timing sucks because he came back from the dead a couple thousand years too early to eat at Lecosho, which sucks for him and all the zillions of people who died without eating there. Almost as motherfucking awesome as Lecosho is the fact that Word's spell check software recognizes 'motherfucking' but not 'Lecosho.' That's progress."

"Like a bitchy Republican from a Podunk congressional district, these beets screamed red-faced at full volume, dominating the proceedings."

"If you don't know what porchetta is, allow me to explain with this fanciful meaty analogy: imagine a world made entirely of meat. The crown prince of this fleshy land is a fat kid, whose torso is made of meatloaf, his cock is a salami, and each of his legs is a whole prosciutto. His fiery, proud eyes are spicy meatballs, and instead of freckles, his nose is dotted with bacon bits. All hail King Meatyass! In his hand he holds the sacred symbol of his office, Porchetta: a pinwheel made of meat, this holy relic spins lazily in the carnivorous wind which blows across King Meatyass's kingdom."