At least someone made money today. Apple reported earnings of $8.2 billion on $36 billion in sales today, buoyed by strong acceptance of the iPhone 5 and the total lack of public interest in any tablet that's not an iPad.

While Apple didn't break out how many of each kind of iPhone it sold, the 26.9 million units it moved is a 58-percent increase over a year ago. Not bad for such a mature product that, let's face it, many many people already own. iPad sales were up 26-percent, Macs saw a 1-percent increase, and the poor little iPod continued its march towards obsolescence, with a 19-percent decrease to 5.3 million units sold.

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All told, it was a fairly typical Apple quarter; the most excitement is that Apple's estimates for next quarter are below analyst estimates, but that's just people guessing different things for different reasons and not worth worrying about. So! Don't sweat it.

Apple's going to have a call to discuss the last three months of filling its Scrooge McDuck money tub at 5pm EDT; we'll be listening in to update or post new news as warranted.