I never thought I would see the day that Arizona State made an attempt to shake their party school reputation. However, last week, the school announced their GENIUS PLAN to stop binge drinking at football tailgates.

ASU announced Thursday that it would ban the use of kegs in parking lots used for campus tailgating events. Although the University has a dry campus, alcohol is permitted during special events, including tailgating a few hours prior to home football games.

The new tailgating restrictions also include a ban on drinking apparatuses like beer bongs that encourage rapid consumption of large amounts of alcohol, as well as drinking games.

Tailgating like rabid animals was my favorite part of attending University of Miami football games. It was a three hour exercise as to who could be in the roughest shape going into the stadium. But I don’t feel bad for the students at ASU for losing some of their tailgating privileges. They shouldn’t feel bad either. These new, bullshit tailgating rules are just that: bullshit. Canned beer is just as potent; cornhole is more fun than beer pong; and funneling is for fucking amateurs.

Safety is great and all — so BRAVO ON YOUR INTENTIONS, ASU FUN POLICE –but this effort to reduce drinking is going to have zero impact.

About J. Camm...
J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.