Tag: fear

Thanks to all those who’ve made purchases recently. I appreciate the support.

I’m pleased to announce that Corridors of the Mind, an anthology of my horror short stories, is available as of June 1, 2018.

The human mind is filled with twists and turns that many fear to traverse. Buried within its depths lie deep secrets and hidden strengths that only come forth through necessity. Some thoughts are better left in those lonely grave, the cellars where even dreams dare not invade.

Travel these corridors, these lonely places, and walk where others fear to tread.

I was looking at a website the other day and thinking about comfort zones, and it dawned on me just how outside my comfort zone publishing books and writing a blog really is. It also made me realize that good things do exist outside of what we’re comfortable with.

I’ve always been one of those ‘stay at home and let the world do as it will’ kind of people. I’m not big on interaction, even online. Never have been. I’ve always been far more comfortable curled up in a corner with a book.

I remember the first day I put up the blog. I shook for hours afterwards simply because I had hit ‘publish’. It was worse with my books. Putting them out for the public was one of the hardest things I ever did, but I think it was worth it, even though there’s still a sense of relief sometimes that no one notices they’re there.

I think that’s something a lot of people deal with, not just authors. We’re taught, or come to believe, that our comfort zones keep us safe. The reality is that they hold us back, keep us from achieving all we can achieve. A friend of mine put it simply the other day when she said she was afraid of success. I think she’s right. A lot of us are.

But why are we afraid? What is so horrible about actually achieving our dreams? When did we come to believe, to know, that the only real success is a job that makes us miserable? Why do we believe that?

I don’t want to believe that anymore. I want to believe that being successful at something I love is okay, even laudable. I want to shake off the programming that tells me that the only real success is a daily grind that kills my spirit and leaves me exhausted.

So, who’s with me? Who’s ready to step outside the comfort zone and take the steps to achieve their dreams?

I know. This seems like an odd question. We all know what fear is, right? It’s that feeling you get when you have to speak on front of a crowd or walk along a dirt road at night. It’s the heart-pounding, blood-shivering shakes just before you walk down the aisle to get married or when your phone rings at 3 am. All these things we know. We experience. We live. We even accept them.

But there’s more to fear than that. A lot more.

My day job is the ‘ho-hum’ grind of working at a convenience store. I know. Glamorous, right? But I actually learn a lot there. Every day I see people who’ve let fear overtake them. I see clients of the local methadone clinic and businessmen who can’t get through the day without their six pack of beer. I hear horror stories of the woman who’s afraid to leave an abusive husband and see the frustration of the man who works in a factory because he was never able to finish college. I see these things, and I learn.

Here’s the gist.

Fear isn’t just that feeling of terror we get in the dark. It isn’t just the jitters caused by a job interview. Fear is an all-pervasive thing that keeps us from achieving our dreams. It’s the surety that we need the day job, that we can’t seek something better. It’s the knowledge that no one will notice if we publish that book we’ve always dreamed of writing. It’s the complacency we experience in a marriage that has long died, yet we cleave to our spouses anyway. It’s the mask we wear to be ‘professional’ and accepted. Fear is being all that we are not.

Security is a wonderful thing. Knowing that you’ll get up and go to work, that the bills will be paid, that someone will hold you while you sleep – all these are what we strive for, what we work toward, what we cling to. But, in the end, are they simply masking our fear? Do they mask a fear of rejection or of change? Do we hide behind them so we don’t have to face the unknown?

I know I do.

So, my vow to myself is this: I will not walk in fear. I will write whether anyone reads it or not. I will seek a better job. I will define my dreams, and I will reach for them, even if others stand against me. I will embrace the unknown and the unknowable, and I will be myself.