Almos Bechtold Leave behind your fears and start running towards the thing that scares you. Because when you start to get too comfortable that’s when you’re going to end up unhappy wondering if there is something more out there. Leave behind the past because nothing is going to change there and the more you keep…

At the beginning of this year, I told my wife that my goal was to find a new job. For the last six and a half years, I have been unhappy with the situation with my soon to be old job. I won’t go into many details because this is not about my old job. This is about perseverance.

From the start of the year, I decided that I would apply to at least one job a day. I signed up for dozens of websites online and I uploaded my CV all over the place. The interesting thing is that I had also spent a little bit of time updating my LinkedIn site. The first three months were hard because I was applying for every job under the sun that I felt I could actually do. I didn’t get a single bit. It was quite disheartening because it seemed as though no one was biting. Ultimately, I tried to continue sending my CV all over the internets.

Fast forward seven months into the year and I had slowed down a little bit with the job hunt. I had become busier on the site that I was working on and had been given more responsibilities that I had to take care of. It did also mean that I was not looking around as much as I was at the beginning of the year.

Suddenly I received a message through my LinkedIn profile suggesting that I apply to a certain role. I didn’t even think twice and applied immediately. That led to an interview and another very long wait to hear back. During that time waiting to hear back after the interview, I lost my mind a few times. I used to get excited every time my phone rang, depressed when it did and it wasn’t the phone call that I wanted to receive. I learnt the best way to stay positive was to continue applying and not to spend the whole time just hoping that something was going to happy. In life, you have always move forward, backward never, and to remain positive at all times.

Eventually, I received the phone call that I had been pining for. It was an offer that I couldn’t turn down. I had to take it, and I did. Now I have a different set of emotional madness happening now. First, it was the fear of leaving what I have known for the last six and a half years. Then there was the fear of stepping into the unknown. However, in life, you have to keep moving forward. Backwards never, sideways only to avoid danger.

There are many lessons I learnt from this whole experience. I learnt that if you want something in life you have to try. Trying should not stop until you achieve what you want to achieve. Nothing in life is impossible. The only obstacle that is waiting to get in your way is yourself.

I also learnt that it is important to give yourself yearly goals. It also doubly important to either write it down somewhere so you see your goal or to marry a wife who remembers for you. At the end of each year, you need to look at your goals and see how you faired. It is important to also ensure that the goals are SMART.

I also learnt that it is important to be professional when you leave your old job. The worst thing that you can do is to leave your past employers with a bad taste in their mouth about you. Now, this is pretty debatable because there are some employers that treat their employees like shit. It is important to remember that you never know if you will cross paths with your employer again. You may have to go to them for business with your new job and could lose out on that opportunity. It is better to explain why you have decided to leave and to try and avoid getting too emotional about it.

At the end of it all the biggest thing that I learnt is that in life if you really want something, you need to go out and get it. No one is going to do it for you if you also do not put in any effort and try as well. You have to be more like Neo. Believe!

I love me a comic-book. I really do. For a long time, Hollywood has completely messed up some comics for me. They destroyed X-Men for me with their rendition when they decided to spew it onto the big screen. I mean there are some people who loved it, but I couldn’t get my head around why they would blatantly murder Charles Xavier and Cyclops (I didn’t mind Cyclops’ death because he’s a douche) when they are central figures in the whole bloody story. But that is for another day. Today, it’s about the Amazonian Wonder Woman.

So, our friends from Hollywood decided to throw this movie at us. I must say I enjoyed the movie. It follows another one of Zeus’ offspring Diana aka Wonder Woman (Zeus seems to have children EVERYWHERE) who grew up on an enchanted island that is inhabited entirely by a race of warrior women. Unfortunately, Captain James T. Kirk finds his way to the island while running away from a horde of Nazi’s who are after his head.

From left: Some guy, Captain James T. Kirk, Wonder Woman, some other guy, and a sniper who has lost his marbles.

Captain Kirk seems to have lost his ship, the Enterprise (again) and has found himself on an Earth that he has never seen. He eventually convinces Diana to help him stop the Nazi’s from completing their evil plan to kill a whole bunch of people, after being lassoed by the lasso of truth.

So after having grown up on an island of women, Diana finally leaves her home, possibly to never return and embarks on a quest to kill the God of War. Apparently, she was brainwashed… I mean raised to believe that the God of War is the reason why puny humans are always trying to kill each other. Not because we are all germs, but because of the God of War.

Ares, God of War

Anyway, Diana then spends the next hour and something trying to fit into the normal world, walking around the streets of London holding a sword and a shield, melting at the sight of a baby and having a mini orgasm eating ice cream.

The bullet repelling bangle-thingys… also ZeGerman’s can’t shoot

The movie has a pretty predictable ending to it. Captain James T. Kirk sacrifices the Enterprise… I mean his life to save a bunch of people. He dies… Before he does, he tells Diana that he loves her. Diana kills her uncle Ares and does not become the new God of War (which is a shame because I think she would have been a kick-ass God of War). The Germans also lose the war which is the only way that history can be written.

Ready to deflect bullets

Happy ending, but also sad because Captain James T. Kirk goes down with the ship and Diana is left all by herself to survive in this world surround by puny humans (Until she meets the rest of the Justice League).

Overall Verdict

The movie was generally enjoyable, with a few funny moments that kept the movie entertaining. The action seems at times to have been put together with a degree of difficulty. It seemed as though the guys who did the storyboard for the action scenes didn’t have their daily drug fix beforehand. The rest of the story is told reasonably well. The background issues are handled decently

So it’s that time again to review another B Movie. This movie is not so much of a B movie. In fact, this was a B+ movie. Firstly it has a pretty well know actor. He isn’t the main actor in the movie, but he has starred in movies such as The Mummy, The Mummy Returnsand Blood Diamond to name a few. He also featured in 24 (TV Series) as a lunatic terrorist hell bent on killing Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer kills him.

The most famous actor in the movie

Anyway, the movie’s protagonist is a legendary shark hunter and killer who is afraid of water. Well not afraid, but he tries to choose not to swim very often. He is the only person who respects the dangers of playing with a large fish with dangerous teeth. Regardless, he is still employed by his brother and the antagonist at the same time and sent on a ludacris mission to kill a shark that ate a diamond. Just let that sink in for a few seconds while I compose myself.

The main dude

I must admit I fell asleep before the end of the movie. That may have been due to the fact that I had to drink before and while watching the movie. I am not sure how the movie ends, but I am sure it has a happy ending that involved the protagonist and his girlfriend.

Main dude’s chick

However, for a B movie, I was impressed by the fact they chose an exotic location. They didn’t find a random beach resort and claim to be in Hawaii or something like that. They came and filmed in South Africa. I was pleasantly surprised by that. In fact, they even went on to employ some South African actors. They weren’t lazy and employed an American or British actor and asked him to deliver a really bad South African accent (See Blood Diamond).

All in all, I give this B movie a solid 4 shark killers out of 5. They definitely tried and spent like real money to make the movie, they got one semi famous actor, they had some genuinely good locations that they filmed from, the writers tried and managed to make it both watchable and funny, and the movie was predictable. Just the way that B movies ever only manage to be.

Cast: A very old Jeane-Claude Van Damme, other people not worth mentioning but there to make up numbers

Runtime: 1hr 44 predictable minutes

So I got this movie from one of my work colleagues like a bazillion months ago and it sat on my computer unwatched. I should have taken that as a hint as to not watching it. Anyway, there is a very old looking Van Damme running around Thailand trying to find his kidney. In perfect scare tactics manner, Van Damme goes to Thailand, and on his first night there he wakes up in a bathtub of ice and water.

Of course he was gonna do the splits…

So he goes about a stupid journey, hunting down the people who took his kidney. His brother pops up and it turns out the reason why Van Damme is going to hard is that he was supposed to give his kidney to his daughter who’s mother is his brother’s dead wife. Yes, Van Damme slept with his brother’s wife (when they had separated, but apparently he had a thing for her since his brother got married. Nice right?).

The girl who stole all the hearts… and a kidney

Anyway, after some half decent fight scene, C grade quality graphics the movie painstakingly comes to an end. Van Damme gives donates his other kidney (without any prior paperwork saying that he consented) in order to save his daughter who is being raised by his brother. Oh and for the kicker: the woman who seduced and drugged Van Damme prior to the illegal surgery done on him, is forgiven by Van Damme and then hooks up with his brother after Van Damme’s death. She is also a spitting image of Van Damme’s brother’s wife. Very confusing

Overall I give this move 1 half decent car chase scene out of 5. Delete after downloading, do not download or waste the space on your computer, hard drive, memory stick, phone, or SD card.

Runtime: An easy hour and 56 minutes (Watch out for the old school five minutes of opening credits)

Release Year: 1994

I am not sure where to start with this movie so I will start in the middle. If you are looking for a mid-90s movie with good old Sandy B, Neo before he met Trinity and a crazy bomber who shouldn’t have been caught at the end of the movie, look no further than Speed. This movie (as far as I am concerned, and in my professional opinion as an armchair movie critic who doesn’t get paid for doing this) starts off with a bang. There is very little time spent only building up the character’s… character as this is done as the movie progresses.

It follows two LAPD cops, Neo and some other guy, (both who seem to work in bomb diffusion and disposal) on the hunt of a lethal bomb maker. They have to thwart his attempts at extorting the city of LA through his acts of terrorism twice. First Hopper the Bomber plants an impossible set of bombs on an elevator. However, Neo and his partner save everyone and assume that Hopper the Bomber dies. Guess what? WRONG!! In true mid-90s fashion, Hopper the Bomber is still alive.

Dennis the Bomber with his hand on the trigger

So begins the predictable fixation that Hopper the Bomber has with Neo. Here begins the typical game of cat and mouse that Neo plays with Hopper the Bomber. As impossible as it is, Neo prevails and ensures that Hopper the Bomber loses his head… literally.

The movie also features Sandy B, who puts up a pretty entertaining performance throughout the movie. Starting off as a normal person getting onto a bus, and ending the movie as a normal person with badass tendencies, anger issues, a love at first sight complex, experience in terrorist negotiations, experience driving at high speeds, experience driving a bus and a host of facial expressions that keep the movie ticking over.

The movie has some epic scenes. None more than when they make a bus jump 50 feet. It so happens that the final trap set by Hopper the Bomber, is a speed triggered bomb. A bomb is attached to a bus and arms itself when the bus goes over a certain speed (50 miles per hour) and explodes if the bus goes below 50 miles an hour. In an attempt to stop the bus from exploding, they drive onto a disused section of highway with the hope of avoiding traffic. However, to their horror, the highway has an overpass that has a 50-foot section that is missing. Instead of diverting the bus to a safer section of the highway, they decide to jump it over.

The Flying Bus

All in all, I give this movie 8.5 headless bad guys out of 10. It is very entertaining and has action that is far fetched but gets away with it simply because Neo and Sandy B are in it. The plot is simple enough to follow, so no matter how drunk you are prior and during the watching of the movie, you will get the gist. The twist and turns in the movie are also nicely signposted, so as to ensure that you don’t end the movie with questions.

The only question you should have is how big is the fuel tank on a bus?

The escort is a rom-com (I don’t watch rom-com’s in general because they are wholly exaggerated and predictable) about an escort who gets befriended and falls in love (obviously right at the end) with a sex addict. The story follows an escort as she goes about her business sleeping with various people for money… and also tutoring maths as that’s what her passion is.

The Escort….

The movie in itself turned out to be extremely funny staring a wholly unknown (to me) cast. A down and out sex addict who spends his time working for a newspaper writing obituaries and sleeping with the interns, gets fired from his job and is on the verge of being kicked out his apartment.

Sex addict on the left… whor…. escort on the right

A chance encounter at a hotel bar while he is waiting for one of his random hook ups puts him on a road to recovery as two individuals with similar problems join up and spend the rest of the movie enabling each other while denying the fact that they should probably be together and burn the world down together with their destructive, but fulfilling behaviour.

When the sex addict took the… escort to meet his dad…

The movie has a lot of pretty hilarious parts, and the characters try their best to keep the movie ticking over at a nice and enjoyable pace. As I said the ending of the movie is pretty predictable. However this wasn’t a surprise as this wasn’t an Inception type movie. I would watch the movie again because it was more of a com-rom than a rom-com.