This is not a post about football, not really. It’s more like one of those enlightening talks that I’ve disguised with the promise of football.

If you didn’t watch the Super Bowl last night, you won’t have a clue what I’m talking about, so before I start in on the inspirational stuff, I’ll give you a few of the details.

The game was between the Baltimore Ringleaders and San Francisco Frozen Bears. Oops, I mean the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers. I’m a non-football obsessed woman—give me a break. My husband forced me to watch it.

Anyway, for the first thirty minutes, Baltimore took over . They kicked ass, to put it mildly. Fast forward over all the insignificant details—like the actual game—and I’ll just tell you that going into half time, it was Ravens 21, 49ers 6.

During the break, Beyonce put on a wonderful show, shaking her booty and singing like the goddess that she is. Her outfit was amazing. And can you believe she just had a baby? What a woman. Fabulous!

And then the second half started.

About one minute in, a good chunk of the lights in the stadium suddenly went out. It got eerily dark. Someone said power surge. Whatever. It was just going to prolong the whole affair.

For twenty minutes after, both teams waited while the behind-the-scenes crew—the light guys, I’m assuming—worked their magic. The players stretched on the field; the crowd sat patiently in the stands; the commentators discussed how this was going to affect the game. Would it put a stop to Baltimore’s roll? Or would it give new life to San Francisco?

Apparently, it did the latter, like I really cared.

With the lights once again shining bright, San Francisco came out blazing, led by their young quarterback, Kaepernick. He’s kind of cute, if you ask me.

They played hard, and they almost won it in the end. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on which team you were cheering for), they didn’t, but they came pretty darn close.

And while all of this was happening, I was thinking to myself, When is this dumb game going to be over?

I was also thinking, Wow, there is a lot we could learn from these overly violent shenanigans. I know, I was shocked that I came up with these too.

So here they are, nine lessons I gleaned from the Super Bowl Sidelines:

1. Never give up, no matter how bleak the situation seems.

Things can look like crap one minute—one day, one week, one month—and the next thing you know, they are looking great again.

2. Life’s a bloody roller coaster—there are no two ways about it.

Now realize it, accept it, and deal with it. Whee!

3. It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.

With steely-eyes, hold strong and look forward to the next play. Why? Because every play counts, whether it seems that way at the time or not. I saw Kaepernick up there on the big screen, and he did have steely eyes, like a shark.

4. You win some; you lose some.

It doesn’t change who you are as a person. If you are an idiot, you are an idiot.

5. The only thing that matters is that you try.

Freaking out won’t get you anywhere, Zach. Zach is my son. I know this article is for everyone, but he in particular needs to learn this lesson.

6. Never, ever, ever, underestimate what you can do.

No matter how far you have to go, or how difficult it may seem to get there. You can do it.

7. Great is a series of small, simple steps.

You just need to be persistent enough to follow through.

8. If someone passes you the ball, run like your ass is on fire.

Don’t just stand there. When opportunity lands in your hands, run with it.

9. And finally, when the lights go out, take a moment to breathe.

And while you’re breathing, get a drink of water, think about that Gary Gllitter song—rock and roll rock, rock and roll—and get ready to come out swinging.

As for you Kaepernick, it was a good effort, but maybe next year. You have a long and promising career ahead of you. Besides, we all know that this one was meant for Ray Lewis.

Amanda Fox is creator of TheFurFiles—a blog in which she talks candidly about life, love, marriage, kids, cats and sex. She also writes literary erotica, and has had short stories published in Maxim Jakubowski’s The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 9, Violet Blue’sSweet Love and Cole Riley’s Too Much Boogie: Erotic Remixes of the Dirty Blues. She has self-published her own erotic novel entitled The Albatross and the Mermaid and a collection of erotic short stories entitled The Realest Thing: Stories of Love, Hunger and Obsession. She enjoys fitness, music, movies, fashion, architecture and animals. You can find her under her blog persona “Fern DeVilliers” on Twitter, Facebookand StumbleUpon, and as herself on Pinterest.

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I am convinced that the lights were turned out by the mother of the two coaches. She saw that one was embarrassing the other…turned out the lights…just to give her other son a chance. And, amazingly enough…it almost worked!

You did a great job drawing lessons from a game packed full of stories! Good job!

[…] and over-exemplified life lessons, you can read my take on Super Bowl Sunday which is slyly called 9 Life Lessons From The Super Bowl Sidelines. I can find ridiculous (and sometimes serious) meaning in […]