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Topic: Those three days in the tomb. (Read 1076 times)

Must've been pretty unpleasant and boring for Jesus. Alone in the dark, dead silence, dehydrated, hungry, sore, scabby, and smelly.Three long days and three long nights before the prophecy could be fulfilled.What did Jesus say or do to pass the hours?

Let me elaborate the topic a little.Jesus died on the cross, right?Once bodily dead we know Jesus snuck in at least one quick out-of-body trip because Jesus wouldn't tell a lie and He told the thief next to him:

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Luke 23:43 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

But Jesus didn't go ALL the way home in the three days because after resurrection he told Mary:

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John 20:17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father.

Three days after karking He emerged from the tomb in a clean set of clothes and with freedom to display more amazing magic powers such as fish-finding and flying.

But there is a lot of "dead" time between dying and rising - and not a lot of detail. What did Jesus do with this time?

Must've been pretty unpleasant and boring for Jesus. Alone in the dark, dead silence, dehydrated, hungry, sore, scabby, and smelly.Three long days and three long nights before the prophecy could be fulfilled.What did Jesus say or do to pass the hours?

Constant masturbation until his dick fell off?

-Nam

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Quote from: David Garrett Arnold

there are oceans of words aged in prayer,against geometric lines, and cloudbeaten skies;credulous allure—slowly captivated in hearts fair—trees and flowers bloomed in grace upon one's eyes.

Must've been pretty unpleasant and boring for Jesus. Alone in the dark, dead silence, dehydrated, hungry, sore, scabby, and smelly.Three long days and three long nights before the prophecy could be fulfilled.What did Jesus say or do to pass the hours?

Turned all of the cave water into wine and got loaded for 3 days. I'm not surprised he felt like death.

Christians will tell you that for those three days, while his body was in the tomb, his "spirit" was in hell, where he was dealing with all the sins of every person every in the world compressed into a 3-day period.

Christians will tell you that for those three days, while his body was in the tomb, his "spirit" was in hell, where he was dealing with all the sins of every person every in the world compressed into a 3-day period.

Kinda like a massive stag do, I guess.

Yes, he had a crappy three day weekend for your sins.

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An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

Christians will tell you that for those three days, while his body was in the tomb, his "spirit" was in hell, where he was dealing with all the sins of every person every in the world compressed into a 3-day period.

"Hey Father, remember that zombie thing we planned? I've had time to think about tactics here in the dark ... the paparazzi will give them no peace ... let's keep it simple ... just a quick appearance for the record and then vaporize the smelly old buggers before their story grabs all the bandwidth."

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Matthew 27:52 and the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; 53 and coming out of the graves after His resurrection, they went into the holy city and appeared to many.

"Heavenly Father .... yes it's Me again ... what? ... oh yeah I'm feeling better after a long sleep, but hey I woke up with some fresh ideas - You got a pen ready? ... what? ... no it's too dark in here ... okay so I know we've only just launched this new Brand of Religion and it looks like going viral but I'm already getting some ideas for product life cycle extensions ... what? That's something I learned down here ... just write these down, I'll spell them out for You ... ready?: STIGMATA... what? ... no I'll explain that later when I float up to You ... POPE ... SAINT ... CRUSADE ... PROTESTANT ... DENTAL MIRACLES ... HEAL AMPUTEES ... what? Too hard? Okay scrub that one, how about MORMON, that's a no brainer ... enough for now, gotta go, somebody has come to help Me with the stone. Love You too. Bye now."

Then he went up to heaven in some sort of jet pack or escalator. What sid he do with the body? They have some sort of robot bodies for all of us in heaven. Or hell. The ones in hell don't last as long due to heat and corrosion.