Have we really been picking Goats and Stars on the Nation for 4 years now? Oh how time passes on the bottom of the NHL ocean floor. Not a lot of light gets down here, every day sorta looks the alike after awhile. But they say that every dog gets his day and 2013 will surely be the year that the Mighty Oil rise up from the depths of the ocean floor and stake their victorious claim of some point between the deep and the light topside.

We aren't asking for all that much Gods of Hockey. Just a return to respectability. Respectability on the way to Dominance. Dominance on the way to showing No Mercy.

Ahem.

As we watch the Oil begin their ascent we will be sure to point out the people steering the sub.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Picking a Star – and later a goat – for the season has been a long standing tradition with our crew of pirates. For the duration of the season if your Star does something mad decent – lights the lamp at a key point in a game for instance – you get to bask in the glow of the Star as he is “your guy.” Should your Star go stone cold – or get traded as was the case last year when we picked Erik Cole – you are forced to sit quietly in the corner, speaking only when spoken to as you wait for the regular season to end.

Picking a star is a tricky business that requires a great deal of thinking. Anyone can pick Ales Hemsky and be reasonably assured that they will look quasi intelligent throughout the whole season. But be like our buddy Lee in the 2006 Season who famously picked Fernando Pisani as his playoff Star – and your genius will be praised from the highest tower for years to come.

We have basically the worst luck picking stars. Not only did we pick Cole last year, we also picked Ryan Smyth the year he was traded, Chris Pronger the year he left town due to family reasons and Eric Fichaud so many years back on the hunch “he could make it as a starter in the NHL.” On that note of taking needless risks, we have deliberated the options before us, crushed a few dozen BLs over the weekend, and decided on our Star this year.

Ah 2009 Wanye. You were such a simpleton back then. Didn't know what a Nuge is, had no particular affinity for HC Neftekhimik Nizhnekamsk alumni and thought 14 in an Oilers Jersey vaguely thought had something to do with MacTavish. You poor silly ignorant bastard.

But you do make a fine job of explaining why you need to name Goats and Stars. In both cases you need to have "your guy" its a multi year moral imperative. So please leave both your selections below, or update your Nation Profiles if you feel so inclined. And with your actions you take us one step closer to game time.

2013 STAR

Hmmm. This doesn't seem to take very long to decide. Ever hear of someone by the name of KING BLOODY JORDAN BLOODY EBERLE OF BLEEDING BLOODY VICTORYLAND? THE KID IS A GENIUS WITH THE PUCK, A SUBLIME DISHER, CLUTCH CLUTCH CLUTCH AND HAS SET MANY THE LOIN OF AN EDMONTON WOMAN AFLAME IN HIS REIGN BY THUNDER.

Ahem.

Yeah Jordan Eberle will have to do for our 2013 selection. And every other year until the end of all recorded time after that too if you could mark it down. Coming off a season where he scored 32 goals and added 42 assists the 16th best scorer in the ENTIRE NHL is only looking to improve this season. Another year older and stronger - Eberle has been busy building on his already impressive resume leading the AHL in scoring prior to the lockout mercifully ending.

We predict Eberle will have a season of 35 goals and 40 assists. He may not be able to sustain his eye shattering 99.3% shooting percentage for the entire season as so many have already noted. However with a pile of souped up powerplay time with the return of Whitney and the addition of Schultz - 2013 will see 14 deliver the goods in the lockout shortened season. And he will do a great many other things too this year. Awesome things.

PREVIOUS STARS

GOAT HISTORY

"Well ok," perhaps you are thinking to yourself "I can dimly follow this guys point about publicly naming your favourite Oiler. That makes sense assuming you are a superfan or an 8 year old kid. But why would I want to hate on an Oiler and name him my goat?"

Goat selection evolved a few years back when we had a buddy that would randomly pick an Oiler each game and rag on him mercilessly. “That dang (insert player here.) He is the worst player on the ice. (Insert GM here) should be embarrassed that he picked such a terrible player.”

(Early 2000 bandwagon jumping buddies would hate) on every random player that draws their ire, loving them the very next minute - all in the name of being an "fan." The boys didn't think that it was sporting to cuss each and every Oiler only to shower them with praise on the next play and several half drunken arguments broke out over the span of a couple seasons to drive home the point.

Instead of playing our band wagon jumping friend on waivers, we all concocted the Goat. The Goat is intended to be the cause of all the team’s problems for the entire season. Goal just went in? Damn the Goat to hell. He wasn’t on the ice? Damn his stupid manner in which he sits on the bench.

The first year of two that we picked Grebeshkov to be our Goat was easily the best picking of our storied Goat picking career. Not only was Grebs brutal, but the team was too. We blamed him for most everything most nights and it allowed us to vent all Oilers related anger his way.

On a team that we hope finishes no higher than 30th place this year, picking the Goat is going to be key to maintaining your sanity.

Not nearly as dire this year thankfully. Flames fans may want to take some notes on sanity saving techniques with the season you are staring down this year.

2013 GOAT

This was actually quite a difficult bit of business. We don't think that the name of the game this season will be "try and figure out ways to keep self entertained whilst the Oilers skitter about like baby fawns on a frozen pond." A lot of the really goatworthy players are gone, traded, cut or bottled up and shipped to Anaheim via the AHL and Dallas.

*cough*

No instead this season should be pretty sweet. The Oilers are young and in game shape against dusty old squads of players just waiting for a groin to get pulled*

We thought about Dubnyk but it isn't good sport to cheer against your starting goalie all year. No, we need him to be good. We ground our teeth while thinking about Horcoff collecting 12 billion dollars this season but we have far too much respect for the Captaincy of the Oilers to name him Goat. If you are in a trench and don't like your squad commander too bad. You respect the chain of command.

But last we checked Theo Peckham still remains the property of the Oilers. We can't figure Peckham out. A team that is willing to do anything to have young players fill spots meets a player that has looked like he had turned the corner into bonafide NHL toughian several different times. And yet there is no match?

How have we come to this Peckham?

You need to fight your way back into the lineup. And so far you aren't even close.

Star: Gagner. It is his turn to step up. Playing with 2 solid linemates is going to make all the difference in the world. 8 point nights are a thing of the past... 9 point nights are the future! GAGS FOR PREZ!

Goat: The ice surface. With the excitement of the fans building each game, and the warmth in the groins of cougars, MILFS and Wayne radiating throughout their body whenever Eberle or the Nuuuuuge has the puck, the temperature inside Rexall Place will be high and the quality of the ice will be LOW. Bouncing pucks will be the norm.

Star: Gagner. It is his turn to step up. Playing with 2 solid linemates is going to make all the difference in the world. 8 point nights are a thing of the past... 9 point nights are the future! GAGS FOR PREZ!

Goat: The ice surface. With the excitement of the fans building each game, and the warmth in the groins of cougars, MILFS and Wayne radiating throughout their body whenever Eberle or the Nuuuuuge has the puck, the temperature inside Rexall Place will be high and the quality of the ice will be LOW. Bouncing pucks will be the norm.

We'll have to convince the concessions manager to offer a 'cougar drink special', replete with testosterone shots to cool them cougar's nether regions.

As for Wayne, I believe there is no cure for the heat produced by such a molten 'bro-mance'.

Star: Gagner - because... 8 POINT NIGHT
B!TCHES!!! Also, he's starting the season with decent linemates for a change. Sam is my dark horse for 2013. A few months from now we'll be saying "Where did this guy Gagner come from and why haven't I heard of him before now???"

I grit my teeth every time people suggest trading this guy just as he gets healthy. He won't be up against the other teams top defenders every game for the first time in a decade, and that will be so sweet to watch.

Goat: Corey Potter

When Tambellini opened his mouth to put this dud in the lineup before training camp had a chance to weed him out naturally, I knew he was going to suck it up bad this year. What's the worst is that he will stay in the lineup because Tambellini believes in him. Just like Khabibulin. Gag, retch, snort, breathe.

Im going to really go out on a limb here, cause what fun is it to pick the obvious (Star: Eberle and Goat: ReHabby), so my real picks are:

Star: Hemsky. He will prove his worth in a very healthy season playing all 48 games and averaging a ppg with another talented winger to play with. Being mostly a set up playmaker as he was once brought in for but Oilers always tried to make him a sniper. With Yakupov and company he will amaze us and prove worth of every penny of his new contract.

Goat: Hall. I hate to say it, i really do, but as Hemmer plays well, i see Hall re-injuring himself and playing less then 20 games this regular season. Hemsky most likely takes his wing on the top line and only benefits more from it. Im not happy to declare Hall the potential goat this year, but for some reason, i think it just might happen.

Goat: Tambolina. With Honorable Mention going to Cam Barker. Yes i know Barker is gone, but his stink can still be smelt in the dressing room and on the ice. MAY THESE PLAGUE BRINGERS BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THAT AILS THE OIL! AND OF COURSE, BRING DOWN VANCOUVER TO THE POINT OF NOT EVEN MAKING THE PLAYOFFS!

Prediction: The Oilers steal the 8th Playoff spot from Vancouver, and since the Oilers are technically knocking them out of any playoff hopes, trends dictate that the Mighty Copper and Blue shall Hoist Mr. Stanleys Beer Mug by Seasons End!

I thought that Peckham had started taking better care of himself. He did an interview with Nation Radio last summer about eating better and yet comes in at 246lbs. That's a lot of weight gain and he was already a little overweight at 230+ lbs last year. Has anyone seen him on the ice? Is he like Dustin B for the Jets in terms of pudginess? Definitely agree with the goat label. For Star it's tough but Eberle has continued to steamroll in the AHL so that's the safest pick.

I want to know why peeps here have no comment on makin Smitty my goat. In fact we have hardly seen his name in print in the last 222 days or so. Is everybody just being respectful for a fallen oiler star?

Not necessarily my choices, but I almost guarantee this is how it will be reflected on this blog and most message boards:

The goat will be Gagner.

- People are going to blame nearly every failure this team encounters on not having enough size in the top 6 and 4 of those players are the newest shiniest toys we've got. That means Gagner will take all the heat whenever people feel we need to be bigger up front.

The Star will be Nugent-Hopkins.

- What is there to say, really? The Oilers went a very long time with a bug "?" in the #1C position, and he makes the powerplay sing.

I was going to go with Eberle, who will be his usual terrific self, but his season will no doubt be spoiled by obnoxious posters talking about whether or not he sustained his incredible sh% from the last couple of seasons.

Star: Hemsky- finally 100% and doesn't have to play with Horcoff (and thereby forfeit 8-10 pts per season). Should light-it-up with actual skill on his line and 2nd tier defensive groups playing against him.

Goat:Horcoff- Mr.Turnover and sub 50% on the dot gets the nod for the 4th year in a row. Thank the heavens the Oilers will buy him out next year and this will be the last season I have to watch him taint the Oiler logo.
*PS- Atomic Bubble...if I had a dollar for everytime I clenched my fists and shouted his name (in a bad way), I would be rich like Oprah*