Daily Archives: May 25, 2011

A former Welsh rugby international has applied for a super-injunction to prevent the world knowing about his secret attempt to raise a million pounds for a well-known charity by risking his life climbing up mountains and skiing to the poles.

Sources close to the player voiced concerns that attempts to reveal his identity via twitter, his personal website and internationally renowned intellectual chat site Gwlad, had been circulating since the start of the year and had begun to trickle slowly into the mainstream press.

The players’ legal representative argued that revealing his client’s identity and what he was up to presented a real danger that people would emerge from feeding at their celebrity infested news troughs and hear something useful and life-affirming, thus risking mental meltdowns and spontaneous combustions on an epic scale. There was also a significant risk that the player’s efforts might also help the fight against cancer, and well, we can’t have that can we?

The terms of the super-injunction mean that no-one is allowed to mention the super-injunction. The player involved and any teams he may have played for, plus any mountain he may have climbed, including – for the sake of argument – Mount Everest, do not and have never existed, and anyone currently alive or due to be alive from now until the rapture is required by law to stick their fingers in their ears and make a noise like ‘blublublub’ if they hear any mention of the thing that never happened – ask any current journalist for an expert demonstration of how this is done; they’re ahead of the game on this.