5.02.2008

Pinch Hitting

Since Maggie's feeling under the weather, I thought I'd fill in with a cover I've seen a few times recently in the inspirational nonfiction section of our Local Grocery Chain™'s bookshelves. Behold, Here for You:

It ain't so ugly, maybe, but I swear that when you see this book in amongst others on the shelf, the topmost portion of the cover photo doesn't catch your eye, and you really can't tell that you've got a mom and her daughter sitting next to each on the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away. Maybe my mind's just a bit on the macabre side, but every time I've seen this book in the store my first thought has been "double suicide." Way to build those bonds, Mom.

You may be interested in knowing that Susie Shellenberger is editor of Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family's teen girl mag, Brio.

Well, olé!

Judging from the prominent (for Focus on the Family, at any rate) lack of mention of family in her author bios, I'm guessing that Ms. Shellenberger, besides being proud owner of a 150-pound St. Bernard named Bosco (a fact that figures in both bios that I read on her, here and here), is also batting for the other team, if you know what I mean (and I think you do). I find that very funny, given her stature in the Dobsonian universe.

This is pretty scary since I live about 50 miles from Focus on the Family. I'm not sure I'd want my daughter to be reading Christian fiction from that venue, and I'm not even Christian,(nor is my daughter)who reads everything. Maugtamom P.S. can I call you by your real name now?

I don't know. I don't think she could have gotten so far as a Nazarene if she was batting for the other side.... but that in itself makes her most untrustworthy from my perspective (raised by former Nazarenes).

Ew....my brother and his wife gave my son a bunch of Dobson-produced videos one year for Christmas. He's still shaking his head, more than ten years later.

The book cover: They couldn't win either way with me. If they'd shown Mom and Daughter from above, i would've dismissed it as boring and maybe smarmy. But that angle with the legs...just stupid and lots of wasted space.

When I was an MK (missionary kid), there were always a couple of women with that haircut and hearty smile hanging around, teaching nursing to natives or piano to the missionary kids or whatever. So, yeah, my gaydar (and past life experience) went totally TILT.

For the Doubting Thomases and Thomasinas, and in my own defense: no, I don't think that the equation "no crotchlings = lesbian" holds without fail...generally. But here we're talking about a foot soldier in the Dobson army: the likelihood that one of Dobson's true believers would buy any stock in parenting advice put out by a non-mom is as slim as Kate Moss on a week-long heroin bender. (The organization is called "Focus on the Family," for those of you who are unfamiliar with it.) The lack of mention of children is an incredibly conspicuous absence. I'm poking fun at her likely lesbotic tendencies (thank you, Stephen Fry) not because she has those tendencies but because she's a very visible figure in a community known for being highly unfriendly to those exhibiting lesbicious bents. The funny is in the hypocrisy (lest you let the hypocrisy make you cringe).

For all those who think homosexuality is unknown and not practiced at Focus of the Family, please read Mike Jones' book (autobiography). He's the gay male stripper who brought down the pastor at their church. Interesting reading. Maughtamom

Since we're speculating rampantly about her sexuality, my money is on lesbian in deep denial--she believes, truly, that the right husband for her has yet to come along, and that her affection for other women is an expression of Christian sisterhood, because she doesn't allow herself to think it could possibly be anything else. Since women tend to be better than men at completely repressing their sexuality, probably she won't end up at the center of a scandal involving a stripper or prostitute and amyl nitrate.

Lol... I met Susie Shellenburger. And I can tell you, she says she is a VIRGIN! Therefore I really doubt shes been married...its always been my speculation that shes a lesbian.. she says the right guy hasnt come yet...okaybut shes like sixty years old! So how long shes going to wait? Im a Christian and I dont think shes a good example of Christianity..

As for the pic on the cover, ya, the feet look kind of deformed or something. I dont know. I think it was a poor choice of photo.

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Just what, exactly, is Judge a Book by its Cover?

I worked in a public library. I saw literally thousands of books every week; the good, the bad, and the truly hideous. These are the covers from the latter category. Joining me (Maughta) is the ever-popular pinch hitter (and handy husband) DocTurtle.

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