Remember how you felt when you and your guy first met? You looked forward to your time together, ached when you were apart. What happened to those feelings? Is the honeymoon really over? Here are five ways to reignite that passion.

Anniversaries shouldn’t be the only time you go the extra mile for your better half.

Little things you can do every day will help keep the love alive in your relationship, even through its inevitable bumps.

Partners can’t dodge everyday stresses and setbacks, but they can build what New York psychologist Gregory Kuhlman, Ph.D., calls a “reserve of attachment” to stick together through them.

Want your love for keeps? Take these relationship survival steps.

1. Play Together
Remember the thrills of your early days together, when you and your partner let your hair down and just goofed off? Day-to-day life, with its obligations, has a way stealing the fun from relationships. Don’t let it.

“Fun is essential. It’s relationship glue, really,” says Holly Parker, Ph.D., who teaches a course in the psychology of close relationships at Harvard University.

But after awhile, couples tend to forget to have fun.

“That’s a big mistake. Fun not only maintains and enhances the couple’s friendship, but also increases the positivity and happiness of their relationship, which builds goodwill and love,” Parker says.

Unscripted and obligation-free playfulness shines light our authentic selves, says Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., a Los Angeles psychologist and author of her self-published book Now You Want Me, Now You Don't!

Couples at play lower their guards and express feelings openly, Raymond says.

“Play acts as a kind of neutralizer, making a safe zone where you can share things that won’t be misunderstood or twisted,” she adds.

Couples who have fun share equal footing and don’t get tripped up by power games.

Keep playtime noncompetitive. Swim, toss a beach ball back and forth in the pool, gather stones and twigs on a nature walk and assemble them into a decoration. “Try anything that gets away from rigid rules of behavior that strangle love,” Raymond advises.

Wondering what to do? Think back to the activities you and your mate enjoyed at the start of your relationship, suggest Kuhlman, director of the M.A. Program in Mental Health Counseling and Personal Counseling Program at Brooklyn College, City University of New York, where he is a professor of psychology, and his wife, Patricia Schell Kuhlman, a licensed clinical social worker.

It’s common for partners to drop romantic dating activities when they take each other for granted. That’s a mistake: Your bond will weaken without intentional care, the Kuhlmans say.

Spice up fun and try something new. Novelty is exciting. That’s why long-term couples often find it rejuvenating to visit new vacation spots, the Kuhlmans say.

2. See the Best in your Partner
Rather than sit across the room and stew over your mate’s shortcomings, look for his goodness.

“How we see our partners affects how we behave toward them,” Parker says. “If you look for the good, you’ll find it.”

When lovers see the best in each other, they’re happier and treat each other well. And when you see your sweetheart’s good qualities, odds are he will see you in a reciprocal glowing light, says Parker.

But that positivity disappears fast if you let negativity rears its ugly head. Partners need at least five positive interactions for every negative one, Kulhman says. If they fall below that ratio, couples have a tough time restoring balance. Then relationships enter a downward spiral, and resentment and anger overcome other emotions.

“Researchers call this ‘negative sentiment override,’ where even neutral interactions with your partner will be interpreted negatively. Then, it becomes difficult to get back on a positive track with each other,” Kuhlman explains.

Gratitude, on the other hand, helps maintain intimate relationships, according to findings of a 2012 University of California study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Researchers found that when people feel appreciated by their partner, they in turn appreciate their partners more and are more responsive to their needs. What’s more, the couples “are more committed and more likely to remain in their relationships over time,” the researchers said.

Tap gratitude by focusing daily on one or two things – no matter how small – that made you feel supported and loved by your mate. Say your partner made you feel special when he brewed you your favorite tea, laughed with you over a mishap or listened to you during a moment of anxiety.

Simple terms of engagement – “Thanks for picking up the milk.” “You looked sexy when you left for work this morning.” – translate into positive terms of endearment.

3. Team Up for Tasks
Rather than work solo, prepare meals, paint the kitchen or plant petunias with your partner.

When couples join forces and take on tasks together, they feed their relationships with feelings of love, fondness, empathy, mutual control and commitment, according to a 2013 University of Illinois review of 35 studies, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

“Do the chores together, not divide them,” Raymond says. “The togetherness this brings makes each of you feel supported and cared for.” (So does exercising together.)

But what about doing it all yourself? Sure, you’re tired and stressed after a long workday, but won’t he appreciate you more if you cook dinner for him and clean up afterwards?

Surprisingly, no. In fact, your efforts may not even get noticed or appreciated – and you’ll probably feel even more stressed afterwards. Sacrifices, especially when we see them as “hassles,” have no link to relationship closeness or satisfaction, show results of a 2013 University of Arizona study of 164 married and unmarried couples.

So, if you think your partner will shower you with gratitude the next time you surprise him with his shiny car you washed and waxed, think again. The takeaway here: Neither be a martyr nor the creator of a honey-do list. Instead, pair up.

Count the time you work in tandem as time well spent. Couples need 12 to 15 hours a week of time together – excluding television and sleep – to keep their bond intact, according to the Kuhlmans.

4. Kindle the Flames
You and your partner settle in on your separate sides of the bed. It’s the end of another day and maybe another month or even years without sex.

Longtime couples tend to undermine sex’s value to a relationship and, sometimes, they abandon it altogether. But lost sex is like a loose hinge in a relationship.

Sexual sparks fly at the beginning of an intimate relationship when norepinephrine and other neurochemicals drive romantic excitement. Like most good things, this stage comes to an end within two years, but sex shouldn’t.

“If we stop and think about it, it’s usually the only kind of relationship that involves sex. It’s also the only kind of relationship in which sex it expected at some point. Sex allows partners to emotionally connect, to express desire and to pleasure one another in a way that is vital to human health,” Parker says.

When sex goes by the wayside, what’s left are two sexual beings who aren’t attending to a critical aspect of their relationship, the one that sets it apart from other relationships.

If your sex life has gone missing, rediscover it with regular date nights and add new sexual activities to compensate for boredom that comes inevitably with familiarity. Take turns with active and passive roles. Who cares who initiates next time?

“You’ll be surprised how the anticipation [of date night] will whet your appetite, just like it did when you were dating,” Schell Kuhlman says.

5. Hurt Feelings? Say So.
Hurt is bound to bite at some time in relationships. When your partner hurts your feelings, say so. He’ll be more motivated and committed to repairing tears in your relationship than he would if you punished him by giving him the cold shoulder.

By letting him know you feel hurt, you’ll spark his compassion and empathy, while showing your own vulnerability, Raymond says.

Research reported in 2012 by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that people who share emotions with others experience calming and bonding effects. Oxytocin kicks in with its securing, reassuring and anxiety-reducing embrace. Partners who hide or merely hint at their pain miss out.

Are you the type who holds back tears – and show hurt by screaming? Watch out. When mates who feel victimized by their partners react with anger, it spells doom.

“Responding mainly with anger indicates a shaky commitment and destructive behaviors toward each other with negative outcomes for relationships,” Raymond says.

Tackle troubles together and don’t become adversaries, even when you disagree. Approach life as a team, the Kuhlmans say.

Freelance writer Jennifer Gruenemay contributed to this original Lifescript article.

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