Message

NO. NOT WILFULLY OBTUSE. WILLFULLY REFUSING TO ACCEPT BEING TREATED AS UNDER SUSPICION BASED ON MY GENDER AS A GOOD AND ACCEPTABLE THING.

Hatter, I don't think that women want to treat all men with suspicion. Nor do we see the way we have to behave around men as a "good and acceptable thing". It is not women who create the environment where many of us feel that we are under siege a lot of the time. The problem is, when we let our guard down and behave as if men are fine and trustworthy fellows, too often men violate that trust.

You did not respond to my question of what you would tell an adolescent female friend or relative about what to expect when she begins to attract male attention. If my experience is representative, she will begin to get graphic sexual suggestions, evaluative comments and so forth, long before she is emotionally equipped to cope with the situation. Just as she is beginning to understand what it means to be a woman, she has to also learn how to discuss sexual matters with male strangers in public. Some of these men will try to touch her or try to get her into their cars. And she will be faced with these situations at random moments, pretty much for the rest of her life. If she eventually becomes suspicious or afraid of men as a result of this, it is her own fault, right?

I am assuming from your comments, that you are a white person and have had a bad experience with a black person shooting a gun at you. (I am sorry that happened and hope that you were not hurt.)

If you want to compare the experience of women with racial gun violence, you would have to have not only been shot at by a black person, but have had black people frequently aim guns at you and pretend to fire them, had black people talk to you often about how they would like to shoot you, had black people in business and social events show their guns to you and discuss how much they like shooting white people, overheard black people brag about shooting white people, been warned by your parents about how much black people will try to shoot you, had black customers and black fellow workers tell you that it would be fun to shoot you.

In college a black professor once got you alone in his office and discussed shooting you. A black celebrity-- who you once admired-- suggested shooting you while signing an autograph. A black politician at a fundraising barbecue got drunk and tried to shoot you. Black therapists, dentists and doctors have been known to shoot at their white patients.

In the the military, there is an epidemic of black soldiers shooting at white soldiers in their own units, leading to special hearings. There are lots of popular shows and videos where black people shoot at white people and the white people seem to like it. There are popular songs about black people shooting white people, who again, seem to like it. And you have had friends and family who have also had all the other experiences above at the hands of black people.

If this is your reality, then you have a valid comparison. I would imagine that you would be more than a bit wary of black people, and might have gotten the idea, somehow, that some of them might sometimes want to shoot you. Then, of course, you are expected to make friends with black people, work alongside them and interact with them as if you don't think they want to shoot you. And if you do someday get shot by a black person, you will be blamed for not taking adequate steps to behave appropriately at all times so perfectly normal black people won't want to shoot you...