Understanding Trust

When we better understand what trust is, we will realize more fully how to love, have faith, and find the truth when making life decisions. There seems to be a lot of confusion about what trust really means, and how to distinguish it from faith. Both of them, I think, are necessary ingredients in healthy relationships of all kinds. So what the Dickens are they? When I asked Siri for the definition of trust, what she said sounded more like a mixture of trust and faith to me. She said trust is “1. Firm belief in the reliability, truth, strength, or ability of someone or something. 2. Acceptance of the truth of something without evidence or investigation.” Maybe the first one is more like trust, and the second one faith?

I think of trust as being our ability to believe in, or rely on someone or something based on qualities, attributes, or characteristics demonstrated over time through shared experiences. I think of faith as a similar phenomenon without evidence or demonstration. We can offer someone the gift of “trust,” before they have demonstrated it, or earned its merit; but, in a sense, this is really faith, isn’t it? We can also trust by proxy. To me this means that we trust someone or something because someone else, who we know and trust, places their trust in them/it. I guess we can have faith by proxy as well, and maybe we could call this meta-faith? So whether we trust someone based on their truthfulness and reliability as demonstrated through shared experiences over time, or have faith in them based on our belief in them without evidence or investigation; our ability to effectively discern the essences of these commodities (trustworthiness and faithfulness) will greatly impact the accuracy of our socially-based perceptions, judgments, and decision making. This is especially true in intimate partner relationships.

As We Trust Ourselves

Even if we are severely burned, we may choose to extend our sweetheart the gift of trust until or unless they prove themselves untrustworthy (or even after they have done so). We may idealistically grant them trust regardless of what they do because this is how we want to see the world. Or we may see them as being as trustworthy as we are (egocentrism). These are beautiful reflections of our beliefs, our spirit, and our personal integrity; but they may not be good reasons to trust others. If we do trust people on these bases, then we need to realize that we are offering them the gift of trust in the absence of any evidence of its existence (which is really faith). I personally prefer to live like this, and accept that my faith in others is usually not based on what they have demonstrated, but rather what I want to believe about them and the world. So, as you can imagine, I have been taken advantage of a lot. Traditional thinking would simply call this idealism, and possibly plug me into a category labelled “Pollyanna Syndrome.” But I don’t mind. Screw the labels. I hope I spend the balance of my days seeing through the same rainbow-colored glasses I was born wearing.

Trust Vs. Love in Relationships

As I perceive it, real relationship love is a spiritual awareness of a powerful connection between two people that motivates us to value, share, and give across all parts of who we are (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). It is selfless, unconditional, and spiritual in nature. Although we usually feel a great desire to do something with it, love can exist whether we ever act on it or not. For me, trust is a little different than this.

As much as I would like to believe that trust can work like love (exist without demonstrated action), or that it is an inherent part of love; I am starting to believe otherwise. It seems to me that trust must be earned, or demonstrated, in order to exist.

Healthy Acceptance

Since, as I perceive it, our general purpose for existing is to grow spiritually, and help others do the same; when we encounter people who distract from this pursuit through their untrustworthiness, or lower our vibration, we may need to accept the truth about them and remove them from our lives. If we don’t, then we could be allowing them to inhibit our growth; and, without realizing it, we could be enabling them to remain stuck in destructive habits and patterns. One way to determine someone’s trustworthiness is to simply observe the degree to which they follow through in action with the things they commit to in word. And we must be brutally honest about this, making sure we don’t overlook, make excuses, or explain things away because we love them, crave good sex, or want to keep them in our lives. And, of course, we need to hold ourselves to the same standard, or vibration.

Our Love Will Find a Way Launches into Radio

As many of you may know, my latest music release, “Our Love Will Find a Way,” under my artist name Fire Prince, has been successfully promoted into iTunes, Amazon Digital, Apple Music, Sound Cloud, and more. But what you might not realize is that it is currently climbing the commercial radio charts, and is being plugged into 30,000+ internet radio stations worldwide! So, if you like it, please request it on Apple Music, etc.; set up a station based on it, and give it a thumbs up whenever you get the chance! It is a magical song about a great love transcending lifetimes! If you believe in the power and magic of love, please support this “Wonder Song!” It is written, arranged, and recorded at frequencies that tune the soul.

Last week “Our Love Will Find a Way” reached #27 on the commercial radio AC40 chart! Here is a link to the chart.

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About Dr. Kai Swigart

Dr. Paul David Kai`makani`mele Swigart, known as Dr. Kai, is a therapist, spiritual teacher, and healer who resides on the Big Island of Hawaii. Through the traditional sense, Dr. Kai has a Ph.D. in psychology from United States International University, is licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist in California and Hawaii, and also holds credentials as Certified Employee Assistance Professional, Substance Abuse Professional, and Certified Arise Interventionist. From an alternative angle, Dr. Kai is a vibrational healing practitioner, crystal healer, and shaman. He is a student of Ayurvedic Medicine, Quantum Physics, and Jyotish.