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Thanksgiving 2014

We’re keeping it pretty simple this year at Château Good Vibes. Normally I’d make deviled eggs, celery with processed cheese and a big tray of olives. And then I’d eat all of those things myself because The Man isn’t a fan of any of those appetizers. But that’s what we always had at my house when I was growing up, and that was part of my memory of the holiday. Along with a backstabbing-ly vicious game of UNO after the meal.

But this year, I’m just going to make turkey (brined,) potatoes (mashed,) stuffing (not stuffed into the bird,) pumpkin pie (from fresh gourds!) and “green stuff” which is a family version of watergate salad. Sorry, you can’t have the recipe. You have to marry into The Man’s family to get your mitts on it. Thems the rules.

I know! Where are the vegetables? Well, honestly if I’m the only one who is going to eat them anyway- I’m not going to exert the energy. This year, we keep it to core elements that The Man has to have for T-day. So no green bean casserole. No root vegetable panzanella. Just turkey, taters and pre-made dinner rolls from the freezer for the actual meal. And then, Gibs willing, a nap. An epic nap.

Even though the meal will be simple this year, I’m still doing my homework. Every year before T-day, I watch the Good Eats Thanksgiving Specials. Right now, Food Network has Alton’s second Thanksgiving Special available for free to watch online. If I still had cable, I’d probably have seen it eight times by now. But alas, only online.

The only vegetables we ever had at Thanksgiving growing up were the green beans in the green bean casserole, and I always refused to eat it anyway, because ew. Last year we attended two or three different Thanksgiving functions, but this year we’re having our own private little gluttony-infused day involving chicken (because neither of us is really a fan of turkey and I’m not cooking an entire turkey just for two people anyway), dressing (also not inside the bird), gravy, ham, deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce (even though I’m the only one who eats it) and rolls. The only vegetables involved will be the celery and onions in the dressing and gravy. Oh, and pickles in the deviled eggs. Those were once cucumbers so they count as a vegetable, right?

We may or may not feed a couple of stragglers, eat ourselves into a food coma and then sit around and fat in front of Netflix the rest of the day. Whatever doesn’t get eaten Ben will take into work on Sunday night.