A number of prominent people in science and science fiction have had samples of their body tissues launched into space after they died. Thus Gene Roddenberry, thus Timothy Leary, thus Clyde Tombaugh, to name only three. Now, I’ve come up with a similar honour for particle physicists.

Currently, it appears that the matter being shot into particle accelerators — protons taken from hydrogen nuclei, lead ions — is just anonymous off-the-shelf stuff from chemical supply firms. This is boring. Instead, all the big old guys and gals in high energy physics should contribute tissue samples, from which hydrogen and lead could be extracted and then shot into the Large Hadron Collider. BANG HIGGS BOSON!

If they’re not already dead, and the process doesn’t kill them, then the protocol for this needs to be revised

But why only particle physics? Several prominent scientists already have their brains, skulls and other anatomical detritus donated for physiology and neurology use, covering those areas well already.

But many a high-profile chemical experiment would be enriched by a bit of purified carbon or hydrogen from a famous practitioner. And for biology the possibilities are almost limitless: “We sequenced the malaria genome, and we grew the cultures on Essence of Dawkins!”. “Feed the fishes” could regain its double meaning in the field.

“It is said among the wise that if you direct a beam of accelerated protons exactly at the middle of a man’s forehead, then his soul will leave his body.”
Yes, if you would direct the LHC beam at a man’s forehead his soul would surely leave his body. With a bang.