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Calgarians fight disaster with social mediahttp://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2013/07/02/calgarians-fight-disaster-with-social-media/
http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2013/07/02/calgarians-fight-disaster-with-social-media/#commentsTue, 02 Jul 2013 20:23:38 +0000http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/?p=170199Homes now lie in watery graves throughout Calgary, making for the equally watery eyes of the thousands of residents who are slowly returning home. But now a glimmer of hope emerges through this river of destruction as Calgarians show their …]]>Homes now lie in watery graves throughout Calgary, making for the equally watery eyes of the thousands of residents who are slowly returning home. But now a glimmer of hope emerges through this river of destruction as Calgarians show their resilience by taking action through the use of digital technology. In the midst of this disaster the city has encouraged people to stay out of the way of the authorities and danger itself. While still complying with the city’s requests, citizens have found a way to help their fellow Calgarians by communicating through multiple social media platforms.

Digital technology has empowered Albertan’s response to the traumatic flooding that left thousands of people displaced. Citizens are self-organizing using various social media platforms, and are ending up on sites like yychelps.ca, Calgary Clean-Up and Volunteer Calgary in only a matter of days after the initial devastation. People are learning how to tune-in and find ways to help while staying out of the way of the professionals.

Here are a few examples of how Calgarians are using social media tools to fight back against disaster:

Twitter and Facebook have allowed for information sharing about businesses that are providing free help and resources, such as sump pumps, water vacuums, building materials, and recycling drop off’s. Individuals are utilizing these platforms to discuss road closures, places of limited access and neighbourhoods that are in the most distress. People are also posting photos of incapacitated communities and areas to avoid. Moreover, these sites have facilitated conversation about when businesses or citizens are providing meals for the displaced. People are using hashtags to follow all of these stories and find resources: #abflood, #yycflood, #yychelps and #calgarystrong.

Furthermore, citizens are sharing videos and round-the-clock news updates from neighbourhoods around the city using YouTube and Vimeo. These sites also allow individuals the ability to access city press conferences.

During the floods, most electricity was turned off, meaning no access to television news. Social media platforms facilitated 24-hour wireless communication through any mobile device.

My favorite example of Calgarians coming together happened on June 24th. The city requested that volunteers meet at McMahon Stadium to be briefed for neighborhood re-entry support. This spread like wildfire over multiple social media sites. The city asked for 600, and in large part due to social media efforts, nearly 7000 eager volunteers arrived to help.

Being personally affected by this flood, I can say that having answers about my family, friends, home and belongings, regardless of how painful these answers may have been, did bring me solace. Calgarian’s use of social media helped me find these answers in a time of the unknown. While this flood wrought devastation and sadness for myself and countless Albertans, my pride in this province has grown because of it. The amount of compassion I have witnessed in the last week, as much from friends as from complete strangers, has been overwhelming. Gena Rotstein (@DexterityCon), founder of Place2Give said it best on June 24th– “The flood has revealed Calgary’s spirit of networked humanity.”

Danielle is the Communications Assistant at The Agency. Apart from being a full-time Bachelor of Communication student at Mount Royal University, she is a PR, technology and music junkie.

]]>http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2013/07/02/calgarians-fight-disaster-with-social-media/feed/0CAL062113LRHb1digitalalbertaFlood Volunteers 2Danielle HeadshotSkipping Christmas: When Grief Takes Hold at Holiday Timehttp://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/12/01/skipping-christmas-when-grief-takes-hold-at-holiday-time/
http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/12/01/skipping-christmas-when-grief-takes-hold-at-holiday-time/#commentsSat, 01 Dec 2012 17:01:58 +0000http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/?p=140133All of us at some point in our lives will experience the death of someone we love. How we heal during this time have many contributing factors. A solid support system, the relationship we had with our loved one, the …]]>All of us at some point in our lives will experience the death of someone we love. How we heal during this time have many contributing factors. A solid support system, the relationship we had with our loved one, the manner in which they died and all the other things that are happening in our lives at the time of the death, can have an effect on our emotional well-being while grieving.

The holidays can be an incredibly difficult time as the focus is often on the family. If our family is hurting, the season may not hold the same merit as it has in the past and we can feel a great deal of stress to “hurry up” our grief journey. The reality is, grief cannot be fast tracked or set aside. We must go through the process, as hard as it is, as it unfolds for us; uniquely individual for each. This takes time and if the holidays are near, the stress can increase with each passing day.

In our centre, we work with grieving families in both group settings and individually. One question that we are asked frequently at this time of year is, if it’s “okay to skip Christmas?” Our answer: absolutely. There is nothing wrong with taking a holiday from a holiday, especially when the hurt outweighs the benefit. For some, taking a break can mean having a quiet holiday meal at home with just a small gathering of family or close friends. It can mean turning down invitations for parties and turning off the t.v.; full of ads for gifts and shows that often depict happy endings. For some, skipping the holiday may mean just for that first year, or just a part of the holiday that is too difficult without the loved one present. For others, taking a trip to be away may be the answer. For others, redefining what the holiday looks like for just that first year, or for ever after, may be the key to peace and serenity during a stressful time.

If taking a break from the holidays isn’t quite acceptable, here are some ways to make this time easier and real:

Acknowledge that the Holiday Season will be different.

We can waste much energy in pretending that things are not difficult or in trying to avoid the holidays that surround us almost everywhere we look. But often people say that their holiday experience doesn’t turn out to be as painful as they feared.

Feel what you feel.

Accept and be honest with the way you are feeling. Be non-judgmental as family and friends around you grieve.

Express your emotions in the way that suits you best.

Talking, writing, working with your hands, music, prayer, dance -there are many ways. Take time to find what is best for you.

Plan ahead.

Make your plans tentative and give yourself freedom to change your plans if you need to. Talk things over with your family, including the children, and find out each other’s wishes and concerns. Share tasks, make priorities, be realistic and compromise. Accept your limitations. Plan shopping in advance and shop on a good day. Make lists. Use catalogues. Shop with a friend.

Take charge where you can.

Although this is usually not the best time to make drastic changes it may make sense to make small changes to routines and rituals.

Consider how and when you will practice your holiday traditions.

Consider creating new rituals that acknowledge the death of your loved one- remembering the past, acknowledging how the present has changed and looking forward in hope to the future.

Be with people who help you restore yourself and with whom you can be yourself.

Do those things that give you energy and satisfaction.

Find ways to laugh.

Turn to others for support.

People often do not know how to help one who is grieving so be straightforward and let them know how they can help physically and emotionally. Learn to accept support and care as it is offered. Remember that there are many ways to be with others-talking, shopping, attending religious services, dining out, cooking together, working on a project together are just a few.

Be kind to yourself.

Honor your limitations and avoid over-committing yourself physically and emotionally. Keep it simple. Pace yourself on good days and treat yourself gently on bad days. Set easy goals – congratulate yourself when you reach them; forgive yourself when you don’t. Allow time each day for that which refreshes you and feeds your soul.

Remember.

When the time is right for you (and only you will know when you are ready) find a way to remember your loved one.

Perhaps gather at the grave site.

Perhaps carry a memento.

Perhaps spend time looking at photos and telling or writing of your life together.

Perhaps offer a dinner prayer or toast in your loved one’s memory.

Perhaps give a gift in your loved one’s name or offer time to someone you know will be alone.

Consider attending a ceremony of remembrance.

Remain open to things that bring joy.

Look for and savor the things- no matter how small – that offer a quiet happiness. Enjoy the people you love. Live in the present moment as much as you can.

Do something for others.

There are many ways. Find something, even a small thing, that you are comfortable doing that brings meaning to you and to others.

Care for your soul.

Find ways to express the deep questions you have and seek meaning. Spend time alone. Journal, pray, listen to music, meditate. Accept tears as healing.

Hope.

Know that although it takes time and effort almost all people who grieve find interest in life again. Eventually you will heal and your memories will hold much less pain. With hope there is healing and possibility for the future where you discover what you need to go forward and a way to carry with you the one you mourn.

Do you ever stop, in the midst of your busy day, to really look at the shapes of clouds in the sky or watch a bird float through the air? We are often so caught up in our daily lives …

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Do you ever stop, in the midst of your busy day, to really look at the shapes of clouds in the sky or watch a bird float through the air? We are often so caught up in our daily lives that we are not always aware of the small things that surround us. Sometimes it takes a serious illness or the death of someone we love to take notice of all those little things that make up our big, vast world. Sometimes it’s moving away from the big stresses we might have in life to bring us back to a simple existence, a life of being thrilled with the small moments.

My family moved to Alberta when I was 12. I hated the move, hated that it took me away from the only family and friends I had ever known, until my dad pointed out that we were leaving a very stressful life and moving to begin again. It was our adventure and our new beginning of defining who we truly were instead of living up to other’s expectations. A new chapter to write; a clean page to mark. In the end, it was a good move. We had no one to “keep up with” or impress, no one to be compared to and no one to question our every move. He kept telling us it was the first summer of our new lives, a summer to “stop and smell the roses” and from that point on, is exactly what we did. Our weekends were spent exploring our new community, often trying out activities we had only dreamed of in the past. At times, we would stay home and spend time in our backyard, with our first real garden, marveling and then devouring the huge strawberries, radishes, lettuce and peas that we learned to grow. I’m sure our neighbors thought we were nuts to be so excited by small green things growing but my dad was instilling in us a new appreciation for the beautiful things that life has to offer. Too often, he’d tell me, he was frustrated by how much time others spent grumbling about every little thing. He truly wished that people would just stop, in that stressful moment and ask themselves if the stress is worth the effort. Take a breath, close your eyes, and then open them again with a new outlook. Yes, life is stressful but it’s the little moments that can balance it all out, if we choose the take the moment to truly appreciate what it has to offer.

My dad died 10 years ago this September and our community lost an individual who often pointed out to others that there is never anything more precious than the moment we are living. We can crave the past and look forward to the future, but our true living is now. I’ve thought a lot about my dad this summer as we worked to create a new outdoor living space. His life, his illness and then his death paved the way for our family to truly embrace the entire experience of the demolition of the old deck, the destruction of the overgrown garden and the hours devoted to building a new structure, shopping for furniture and seeking guidance to create an impressive new garden space. All our efforts resulted in a spot that we can start our day with as we gaze at the sweet smelling flowering perennials and we end our day with dinner on the deck, listening to the sounds of the birds and squirrels, and watching the sun set behind the trees. We plan to move back to the west coast one day but for now, creating our own oasis has given us a place to enjoy, despite the unpredictable summer weather and the realization that snow will soon be on its way. We love every moment outside and when the weather becomes cold, we’ll have beautiful pictures to remind us of what is waiting for us in the spring.

]]>http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/08/14/small-moments-of-little-effort/feed/0pilgrimshospiceIMG_0095Musical Memorieshttp://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/05/02/musical-memories/
http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/05/02/musical-memories/#commentsWed, 02 May 2012 18:49:48 +0000http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/?p=120225A young woman begins to mouth the words to a familiar song. With eyes twinkling, she manages to vocalize along to lyrics of the phrase, “I won’t have to go”. She is accompanied by guitar and the encouragement of the …]]>A young woman begins to mouth the words to a familiar song. With eyes twinkling, she manages to vocalize along to lyrics of the phrase, “I won’t have to go”. She is accompanied by guitar and the encouragement of the group. Her smile is broad and contagious as others around the room begin to smile and join in sing along with her… “I’m leaving, on a jet plane; don’t know when I’ll be back again… Oh babe, I hate to go”. The warmth and community created in this moment is palpable. Despite disability, music can touch our hearts and draw us into connection with others.

At Pilgrims Hospice, music is a great way to support our clients. We have very eclectic tastes, from a fun-filled Hawaiian themed day, to Country and Western, to religious or spiritual songs. This is complete with group singing and playing instruments like maracas and drums. Group sing-alongs can inspire laughter, connection, and the sharing of stories. A favourite song can bring back memories and help us reminisce about our lives, the people we have loved, and the places we have been.

For someone with dementia, music can be a key to unlock memories, knowledge, and skills that are hard to access due to their illness. Sometimes, people begin to dance and sing again while involved in music, even if they have lost their ability to walk or speak. A song may bring back a memory of long ago and allow it to be communicated again. This could be of a childhood home, an event at school, or an important family time. Music has often been part of the soundtrack of our lives.

Music can also help us to express emotion. One dying man dedicated a song to his son. The song expressed the love and pride he had for his son, even though he found it hard to say these things in his own words. As the young man listened to the song being played for him, tears sprang to his eyes, and he held his father’s hand tightly whispering, “I love you too, Dad. I know how proud of me you are”. Music can begin to open up conversations and the sharing of feelings that are very personal.

For some clients, music can be a way to create legacy projects. These projects capture what is meaningful for the client in their life, and passes on their wisdom and values to other generations. Song writing can be a creative way to capture people’s stories and share them with others. A young woman recorded a song filled with her messages for her three-year old daughter. This unique children’s song was a blend of the mother’s messages of hope, love, and the life values she wished to pass along to her daughter. Sung by the client, it was a precious keep-sake for the young daughter to have a recording of her Mother singing to her. This project brought the client a sense of peace and reassurance. She shared that this song expressed, “What I hope she learns about life, for when I’m not around”.

As a music therapist I have been privileged to witness many transformative moments through music. As a Spiritual Care Coordinator and Adult Bereavement Counsellor, I incorporate music into the programming for clients of Pilgrims Hospice in ways that are meaningful for them. What music is meaningful for you? What musical memories do you have?

]]>http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/05/02/musical-memories/feed/0pilgrimshospiceBack to YESS – The full circle.http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/04/12/back-to-yess-the-full-circle/
http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/04/12/back-to-yess-the-full-circle/#commentsThu, 12 Apr 2012 20:35:45 +0000http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/?p=117405In the 3 years I’ve spent working at YESS I’ve found one constant. Everyone who YESS touches, it touches for life. I’m constantly amazed by the number of people who I come into contact with who say they stayed here, …]]>In the 3 years I’ve spent working at YESS I’ve found one constant. Everyone who YESS touches, it touches for life. I’m constantly amazed by the number of people who I come into contact with who say they stayed here, their parent stayed here, they knew someone who stayed here, and we touched their lives in some way, shape or form. It often brings a tear to my eye.

I think the reason this touches me so deeply is because I know where they are coming from, because I stayed here too. Yes, I was one of those teenagers. I know there are people out there who think these kids are a wasted effort, and as much as that breaks my heart I know that there are more people out there who know that given a chance, these kids can really turn their lives around and make great things happen. I may not be doing great works, but I’m alive – I’m alive and happy – and I can’t say that this would be the case if it weren’t for YESS. The worst part of all of this, is knowing that my life was easy in comparison to many of the kids who come here.

If you’ve ever been to our “Great Expectations” event, you may have heard me sobbing out a shortened version of my story, but allow me to share it with you now. I’ll most likely start crying as I type this, but at least you won’t see me blubbering!

Growing up, my dad wasn’t around. I lived with my mom, who had more boyfriends than I can count, all of whom were alcoholics, smokers, and gamblers. I learned early that the boyfriend of the month was ALWAYS more trustworthy than me. My mom had a lot of psychotic tendencies; she blamed me for all the problems in her life, no money, no food, her latest beau dumped her for having a kid. Once, I got up early to wash dishes, hoping I would be able to go out and play with friends if I did. Her boyfriend got up and decided I wasn’t doing it correctly, so he physically assaulted me. When my mother eventually got out of bed, she found me on the floor in the living room where I had been running for my bedroom, being strangled by her lover. Her response was to yell at me for not listening to my elders, drag me up by the hair, and send me to my room for the day. After that any small infraction netted me hard labour. Chewing with my mouth open meant 5-6 hours of digging up rock hard ground with a pickaxe and shovel, just so they could fill it with “better dirt”.

I never brought friends over to visit for fear of what she would say or do. The few friends I trusted enough to meet her were gay, and even they were mortified by the fact that she hit on them mercilessly the few times they met. I was depressed, alone, and all I wanted was to be loved. I never really fit in. In spite of all this, I worked hard; held in my anger and hurt, and trudged through life. I often found myself annoyed when my friends would complain that their parents grounded them to their rooms. It seemed like they had stepford lives by comparison, but I never said a word.

I was smart and sociable, but I eventually broke down. I started to rebel, I stopped respecting authority figures. If the adults in my life didn’t respect themselves, why should I respect them? I stopped going to school. It didn’t matter, I was one of those kids everyone forgets about. I began to ignore myself, my wellbeing, and my responsibilities. I became jaded and cynical. Everyone knew I was a screw up; I just lived up to their expectations. After all, when you are told you are a failure every day of your life, eventually you believe they are right. Even now, at the age of 27, I find it exceedingly difficult to shake off this “Knowledge” that was instilled in me from childhood.

I was in Kingsway Mall one day with some friends and a new girl we barely knew. This new girl decided to steal a ring from Claire’s, and the manager caught her. We all got a 2-year ban from the mall, just for being with her. I was terrified to go home, so I ended up at a friend’s house. He had been to YESS before. He told me about the time he spent there, the help they gave him, and how his relationship with his father was so much better now because of it. His dad gave me a ride there that night.

The staff at YESS listened to me. It was strange. They didn’t judge me, they believed me, and I found myself opening up and admitting to things I hadn’t told anyone in years. When I told them about how my father’s roommate had raped me the last time I’d visited him when I was 12, I braced myself for the laughter. I knew what they would say “why would anyone want to touch you!? Stop making up stories you silly girl.” That’s what my parents had said when I tried to confide in them. But the staff at YESS didn’t say that. They listened. They offered to help me find therapy and other resources that would help me. I was awestruck. It was an experience I’d never had before; I realized there were people out there that cared, that wanted me to succeed, and these were people that didn’t even know me. It was a new experience.

I only stayed at YESS a few days before my mother’s friend convinced me to go home because things had changed. She was right – things were worse than ever. YESS helped me decide not to let her destroy me. I would keep trying, keep trudging through, and if I still ended up a failure, it would be on my own terms, not hers. I moved out as soon as I could afford it, and got as far away as I could. She lives in BC now, and we still keep in touch. Regardless of everything she has done she will always be my mother and I’ll always be there for her. In recent years she’s settled down, gotten married to a stable guy who really seems to care, and pulled her life together. Every now and then we go to visit her, I still see glimpses of the person she used to be, and I feel the sting just as bad as when I was a vulnerable 16-year-old girl. Some wounds never heal, we just learn to live with them and carry on.

I’m still friends with many of the people I hung out with in high school; they were good kids in bad circumstances. Some accessed YESS, some didn’t. Those who didn’t come to YESS continued to struggle, and some did horrible things just to survive. The majority of those who did access YESS services have turned their lives around and are now happy, healthy adults. I’m happy to say I’m one of them. I know in my heart that more than one of them would not be alive today if they hadn’t found YESS when they did, myself included.

I was given a chance to apply for a job at YESS a little over three years ago. It was something I felt I needed to do. I didn’t know if I was good enough, but I needed to try, even if I failed. I was terrified YESS wouldn’t be the same as I remembered, and it’s not. It’s everything I remembered and more. I cried the day I found out I got that job. I had finally come full circle, I felt like possibly, I wasn’t the failure everyone always said I was, and maybe I could do my part to help someone just like me.

Today I’m happily married, I have 2 beautiful sons who I love more than anything and I swear I’ll never let them go through the things I was forced to go through. There are still days when I’ll tell my husband a story from my childhood thinking nothing of it, only to find out that it’s really a sad story of a neglected child. Now that I’m a parent, even more than before, I thank god every day that there is a place like YESS, somewhere safe for these kids to go no matter their circumstances.

I don’t have the courage to do what the youth workers do; I’m happy with my place in the Opportunities Department, doing what I can to help keep YESS’ doors open – open for kids like my friends and I. I know firsthand the difference YESS makes in the lives of these kids. It may seem miniscule to some, but to us it means a second chance at a real life, and sometimes, that’s all we really need.

Remember, when you’re thinking “why should I support YESS?” that the teenagers we serve are the next generation. If we don’t help them turn their lives around now, what will happen when they become adults?

Nikkie

]]>http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/04/12/back-to-yess-the-full-circle/feed/0537836_370302649679105_152560524786653_76178033_399843386_nyess30Unforeseen Awarenesshttp://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/04/04/unforeseen-awareness/
http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/2012/04/04/unforeseen-awareness/#commentsWed, 04 Apr 2012 18:18:02 +0000http://blogs.edmontonjournal.com/?p=116088When I joined the Pilgrims Hospice family last November I could have never imagined the discoveries that I would make. I came into this “job” with a strong desire to “help” people, as so many of us in the health …]]>When I joined the Pilgrims Hospice family last November I could have never imagined the discoveries that I would make. I came into this “job” with a strong desire to “help” people, as so many of us in the health profession do. I set out to make a difference in the lives of others; that was my goal.

As the months went by I focussed on programming and activities, which is a large part of organizing a day program. I concentrated on entertainment and games and guest speakers… and keeping the clients busy. All the while something wonderful was happening. I was so preoccupied with the activities that I didn’t notice it at first. The effect. The room was continuously filled with laughter; people were talking more and friendships were strengthening. I was benefiting from these actions too. I was growing. The internal growth and awareness that I have gained in the past five months has given me strength and comfort – which I had no idea I would come across. Who would have thought that in the process of helping people, I would have have gained just as great of an awareness about the human spirit, as those that I was helping?

What a gift.

I now have a new outlook towards my work. I want to help people GROW as I feel I have – spiritually and emotionally. These are the greatest gifts I can give as a caregiver and they have returned to me the greatest thanks.

There was hope everywhere Friday morning at annual Northern Alberta Brain Injury-Brain Care Centre breakfast Friday morning…hope that, thanks to a wonderful and inspiring keynote address by Edmonton Journal columnist Paula Simons, new awareness is created…hope that those, enjoying their french toast and scrambled eggs who have a brain injury know there is a community of caring and qualified people are at their backs…and hope that in several hours on this, a Friday, people will think safety — and use a bike helmet.

Too bad MLA Doug Elniski ruined the atmosphere.

Elniski brought greetings from the province and talked about what he would do if he sustained a brain injury.

“I think I would just drink,” he said.

I choked on my orange juice.

Folks in that room needed encouragement — not an example of an oh-too-easy-cop out.

Tell that, Mr. Elniski, to the family of Patrick Hirschi, whose father and husband was a tireless force in brain injury…in an incredible twist of irony, Patrick was involved in a skiing accident and sustained a brain injury but worked hard so he could drive again and work part-time..Patrick passed away last October, but his example of hope and perseverance is examplantory.

Tell that, Mr. Elniski, to the parents of a teenage boy who will sadly find themselves in an emergency ward this weekend because their son was just enjoying life — nothing more — and now has a brain injury.

Hell, don’t offer them any resource contacts….bring a bottle of your favourite liquor to the hospital and get the party going.

With all due respect, sir, politicians are supposed to bring greetings and, most significantly, offer hope.