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Why I Loathe Wifi

Today I sort of got sucked into a wireless call and it brought back some pretty horrible memories of a past wifi calls.

Note: If you think READING this is long, try DOING it.This is a transcript of a typical call between me and the fictitious Margaret. Margaret is a pretty good customer because she did not call with a screaming child in the background and did not interrupt me too much.She did jump ahead a little too much and made me repeat myself more than once. The reason this is a long call, is that if the customer calls back within 72 hours, even for something completely unrelated, the agent is dinged with a callback. Too many callbacks is bad. It does not matter if the callback is uncontrollable. The agent is dinged.

Me: Thank you for calling tech support my name is Jo how may I assist you?

Margaret: I can’t connect to the internet.

Me: Sorry to hear that let me bring up your acct. May I have your phone #?

Margaret: Sure it’s 555 222 9873.

Me: Thank you. Is this a cell phone or a land line?

Margaret: It’s a cell phone.

Me: Do you have phone with us?

Margaret: Yes.

Me: What is your home phone number.

Margaret: You can’t find me by my cell #.

Me: No. your internet is linked to your home phone.

Margaret: I told them last week to update it.

Me: Your internet goes thru the phone line so the tech support database is set up to search for the phone # associated with your DSL service.

Margaret: I hardly use my land line.

Me: May I have the ph #?

Margaret: Can I give you my account #?

Me: The phone number would be better.

Margaret: Okay. It’s 555 567 9812.

Me: Thank you. What is the name on the account?

Margaret: John Smith

Me: And whom am I speaking to?

Margaret: John isn’t here, I’m his wife.

Me: What is your name?

Margaret: Margaret.

Me: Thank you. If the call drops what is a good call back number?

Margaret: You are going to call me back?

Me: Only if we are disconnected for one reason or another.

Margaret: I called last week and that happened and nobody called me back.

Me: I do apologize. Is the 9812 # a good call back #.

Margaret: Well I am going to home for a while then I am going out and I suppose you could call me on my cell.I just note the home ph as call back #

Me: So you are not able to connect to the internet.

Margaret: No, I can. I got a new laptop and I want to connect it wirelessly.

Me:I can help you with that. How many computers do you have?

Margaret: I have a desktop and 3 laptops.

Me: Are the laptops wireless?

Margaret: Yes. But I bought a new one and that’s the one that is not working with the wireless.

Me: We probably just need to tell the laptop the wireless settings.

Margaret: Do I type in my user ID.

Me: It works a bit differently. Can you give me your user ID as I need to tell you a password. It’s for your own protection. It’s on the first page of your bill.

Margaret: Let me look for the bill.

Me: Sure.

Margaret: Okay. I found it is it the account #.

Me: No it’s your internet user ID and it’s on page 1 of the bill on the internet section. It begins with AB

Margaret: Oh I found it. it’s ABC123

Me: Thank you. I appreciate you looking it up. It’s a good idea to keep that info handy in case you need to call tech support.I brought up your modem and I see the name of your wireless connection is wifi123.

Margaret: I think so. I am not sure.

Me: We will need to enter your wireless password into your new computer for it to connect. Unfortunately for privacy, that password is not saved in our files.

Do you know the password for your wireless, it’s called a key.

Margaret: I reset a password yesterday.

Me: For your wireless?

Margaret: I am not sure. Is it Ejjw3n?

Me: That sounds like an email password. This password would most likely be 10 characters long.

Margaret: The agent reset a password yesterday.

Me: Based on the agent’s notes, that appears to be an email password.

Margaret: Can you change it.

Me: Yes. But I would first like to get your wireless working on the new computer. The two laptops that work wirelessly are they XP, Vista or windows 7.

Margaret: Vista 7.

Me: Are you by one of the other laptops?

Margaret: Yes. But I have to turn it on.

Me: Okay go ahead and do that.

Margaret: Wow this taking so long.

Me: Unfortunately I have to enter a password into your new computer but I do not know the password. I getting you to see if the wireless password is preserved on one of the 2 other laptops.

Margaret: Oh okay. I am so glad that you speak English. I hate speaking to India.

Me: So the other laptop has turned on.

Margaret: I am not racist I just can’t understand them.

Me: Is the laptop on now?

Margaret: Sorry it’s slow.

Me: No problem. When it turns on it will say Windows XP or Windows Vista.

Margaret: Oh geez, sorry that screen has already passed.

Me: No problem.

Margaret: Okay it’s turned on, do you want me to go on the internet.

Me: No. Do you see an icon on your desktop that says “my computer?”

Margaret: I am on the MSN website.

Me: Can you minimize internet explorer.

Margaret:Uh?

Me: Can you close internet explorer.

Margaret: Okay.

Me: Do you see an icon on your desktop that says My Computer?

Margaret:No.

Me: How old is this computer

Margaret:About 4 years old.

Me: Okay I think it might be XP. Can you click on your start menu and select control panel.

Margaret: Okay. I am in start. what do I click on. Oh right Control Panel. Do I left click?

Me: Yes.

Margaret: I am in control panel. It says Accessibility, Add hardware, Add or remove hard_____

Me: Sorry to interupt, you don’t need to read the screen. Can you click on Network Connections.

Me: In about 10 seconds it will ask you to give me permission, click okay.

Margaret:It says “Joanne would like to perform one or most tasks. Click okay to

give permission.” Do I click okay?

Me: Yes. Okay I am now in your computer.

Margaret:This is so cool!

Me: I am just going to double check your wifi settings. I have put your wireless password into the computer and I now see in the lower left corner of the screen you are connected to wifi123. Can you please take the yellow cord out of your computer. This is how we make sure the wireless connects.

Margaret:Okay I took it out.

Me: So your computer will kick me out of the log me in session but when the wireless grabs on, then I will be back in. It takes a few seconds.

Margaret: Okay. You sure know a lot.

Me: We do this a lot. Okay I am getting back into your computer so the wifi is working. So, 2 down 1 to go.

Margaret: Wow. This takes a long time.

Me: It does but I have written everything down concerning your wifi connection and saved it to your desktop. It’s a text file called wifi.

Margaret:Good.

Me: Go to the Windows 7 computer.

Margaret:I am there.

Me: In the lower right hand corner do you see a picture of two computers or a bar graph?

Margaret:Yes. I see a bar graph.

Me: Click on it and it will show the available networks.

Margaret:Okay.

Me: Do you see wifi123?

Margaret:No.

Me: Can you click “Open Network and Sharing Centre.”

Margaret: Right click?

Me: Left click.

Margaret:I am in network and sharing centre. Should I set up a new connection?

Me: Please click “manage wireless networks” on the left.

Margaret: Okay.

Me: Do you see wifi123 in the list?

Margaret:Yes.

Me: RIGHT click on wifi123 and select properties.

Margaret:Okay.

Me: Click the security tab.Under security type choose “WPA-PSK.”

Margaret:WPA2-Personal?

Me: No WPA-PSK. Then below that select TKIP.

Margaret:Okay.

Me: Under Network security key type popcorn123.

Margaret:What does show characters means?

Me: You can see what you are typing.

Margaret:Oh that’s good. Should I check it.

Me: Yes.

Margaret:I typed it in.

Me: Press okay and close the screen.

Margaret:Okay.

Me: In the lower right hand corner of the screen, click on the bar graph icon.

Do you wifi123 in the list?

Margaret: Yes.

Me: Connect to wifi123.

Margaret: I am being asked to type in a key.

Me: Type in popcorn123

Margaret: It’s connected.

Me: Try surfing. Go to Google.

Margaret: I am on MSN.com

Me: Great. Click any link.

Margaret: Okay. I am surfing. Can I make google my home page.

Me: Click on Tools and Internet options.

Margaret: Left click?

Me: Yes. About half way down the page it will have a white box where you type

in your home page.

Margaret: It says MSN.com.

Me: Delete MSN.com and type in google.ca then press apply.

Margaret: Okay. Should I close the screen.

Me: Yes.Now you said you wanted to change your email password.

Margaret: Oh yeah.

Me: Do you check your mail with a mail program like outlook or do you go to a mail website.

Margaret: I don’t know.

Me: I think based on your last call you check your mail with webmail.

Margaret: Oh yes. I remember.

Me: Okay I will reset your password for your email. What do you want it to be.

It has to be more than 6 characters.

Margaret: Is it the same as popcorn123?

Me: No but I can make it popcorn123.

Margaret: What do I have to do.

Me: Just wait and I will reset it.

Margaret: Okay.

Me: I have reset it to popcorn123. Now go to the mail site. Are you being prompted to type in the password?

Margaret: No. Wait. Yes.

Me: Type in popcorn123.

Margaret: Okay.

Me: I am going to send you a test message called Hello 1.

Margaret: Okay.

Me: Did you get the message.

Margaret: Yes.

Me: Please reply to it.

Margaret: Press REPLY right?

Me: Yes.

Me: I wrote out all your wireless information the computer I am logged into. The name of the wireless connection, the security type and the key or wifi password. Please keep this on your computer. Okay I got your message so your email is working fine.

Margaret: You’ve been great. Oh wait. My daughter is in university and she comes to do laundry. She has an iphone. Can she connect wirelessly.

Me: Yes. She connects to wifi123 and types in popcorn123. You have it written down on the 2nd computer.

Margaret: Right.

Me: Before I disconnect from the remote, do you have any more

questions?

Margaret: No. You’ve been great. You must be the most important person in the office.

Me: That would be the guy who fills and fixes the free coffee machine.

Margaret: Ha ha.

Me: Thanks for calling have a great day.

How the Call Could Go! (I WISH)

Me: Thank you for calling tech support my name is Joanne how may I assist you?

Margaret: I bought a new Windows 7 computer and I’ve never configured wifi with

it. Can you help me?

Me:Yes.

Me:Do you have your acct ID#

Margaret: ABC123

Me:Thank you. And the name on the account?

Margaret: John Smith. I am Margaret his wife.

Me:Thanks. If I need to call you back what is a good ph #.

Margaret: 555 567 9812.

Me: I see by your modem the name of your wifi connection is wifi123. Does that

sound familiar?

Margaret: Yes.

Me: By any chance did you write down your wifi key or password.

Margaret: Yes I did. I am just not sure if it’s the correct one.

Me:Great. In the lower right hand corner of your screen do you see a picture of

2 computers.

Margaret: Yes.

Me: Click on it and you should see a wifi connection called wifi123.

Margaret: Yes.

Click on it and type in your key.

Margaret: I did. Oh it’s connected.

Me: Try surfing.

Margaret: It’s working. Thanks.

Me: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Margaret: Can you change my email password.

Me: Sure. What do you want it to be?

Margaret: How about the same as my wifi key. icecream246. All in lower caps.

Me: Mmmm ice cream. It’s updated. Can you open your mail and type it in when