to think he needs to grow up

Have namechanged because I might be excommunicated if my family found out I was posting about this

My brother has finished university this year and is currently looking for a job. He has had 4 interviews in the last couple of weeks and unfortunately he got all 4 rejections in the space of a hour this morning. Since this apparantly he has hidden in his room all day crying. My sister sat and held him for 2 hours whilst I was there tonight until he went to sleep. I said he needs to grow up and not be so thin skinned and that this might be holding him back as no employer wants someone so mentally weak. My sister went ballistic and told be to STFU and that I'm a heartless bitch who will destroy any self belief he has left.

AIBU to think that he needs to accept he is now 21 yo and take a major reality check accepting that in the current climate he is going to have accept rejection when it comes to jobs and not blub for hours on end to his 26yo sister.

It must have been awful getting all those rejections at once. However, yabu to think he needs to act like a responsible adult if he wants to be treated like one.

Tell him it's fantastic that he got to the interview stage for so many jobs at once and that he's had all that interview practice. Suggest that he email to ask if he can talk to HR/someone on the i-v panel to ask for some more specific feedback to help him next time around. That's the grown-up way to respond once he's had a day to mope.

He had a shitty day and got it all out on the shoulder of his supportive sister. Give him a break, anyone would weep at 4 rejections in an hour! I bloody would, I'm nearly 40 and in no way mentally weak!YABU. Tomorrows another day. If you want to help him jolly him along with new ideas or follow your sister's advice and shut up.

Yes, rejections are hard but to sit crying in your room ALL DAY, and having one sister cuddle you for 2 whole hours then the other sit with you until you go sleep? YANBU - he's a 21 year old adult who needs to grow up.

I'd have handled the rant and cry for maybe 30 minutes before saying. 'It's life. It's shit you will get a job. There's nothing you can do about it now' finished with a hug and suggesting of doing something likes or even taking him out for a drink later that night if he wanted a day to himself.

Well, yes, he will have to grow up and get a thicker skin, but frankly, getting 4 rejections in a single day (let alone hour) is a bit much for anyone, and it's hardly a surprise if he feels the world's against him. Job-hunting is stressful enough, especially in the current economic climate. It's a bloody hard market out there, and even the strongest candidates are struggling. I don't imagine employers get to see that he's apparently thin-skinned anyway, as I assume he is only crying at home rather than in front of them. So yes, you are being very unreasonable.

Give him a day or two to get over the worst of it, then try giving him some practical support - maybe his CV could be reformatted or something? And if you do, try to do it tactfully.

I see both sides of this coin, you have a point but perhaps were a little too blunt for your little brother, some people are sensitive and you need to be aware of what they can/can't cope with emotionally. Me for instance, I am a total poof.

if he has always been successful in exams and getting into uni etc etc, this is probably the first rejection (or 4 - nice quadruple whammy, poor boy) he has had in his life. And he's not allowed a bit of a cry? Jesus, where did your sympathy and empathy go?

I've got a job and have also experienced rejections but I don't see the point in wallowing in self pity and defeatism. Instead of crying all day he should of been onto the companies and asked for feedback to improve his performance as this would be constructive going into the future.