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How can I tell my child the truth about Santa?

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My husband and I swore that we'd never lie to our children about anything -- including Santa Claus. But last night my daughter said that Santa is going to bring her presents on Christmas. I've explained to her that Santa isn't real, but she gets upset when she hears this. How can I let her enjoy the fun of Saint Nick without lying to her?

One more blurb from an article:
In all ages, a good imagination is important, but it's crucial for very young children. They simply cannot do without a good fantasy life, says Carolyn Saarni, PhD, a developmental psychologist and professor of counseling at Sonoma State University in California.
"Play is central to cognitive development," says Saarni. "You can master the world through your ability to manipulate things in fantasy. Play allows you to kind of practice what you would do in the real world."
A little girl who is playing with a doll, for instance, may try to imitate her mother's nurturing ways. In her pretend world, she is practicing what she would do in certain situations.
Tasha Howe, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Humboldt State University in Arcata, Calif., says parents can use fantasy to encourage children's critical and independent thinking. When children ask questions related to Santa Claus, such as "Is there really a Santa Claus?" or "How do reinde

I have never responded to any of these boards, but I was surprised when I read this and wanted to contribute. With all due respect, I find nothing wrong with fostering a child's imagination. Santa is only one of many imaginary characters a child will make up, and doing so is beneficial for her cognitive development. The following is an excerpt from an article "According to child psychologist Bruce Henderson, professor in the psychology department at Western Carolina University, children&#8217;s thinking about Santa Claus and other figures reflects their general level of cognitive development.
&#8220;Santa is just one of the many fantasy figures that exist in the preschooler&#8217;s world,&#8221; said Henderson. &#8220;Adults might just be wasting time by trying to get a child of that age to give up on such a warm and fuzzy character to accept adult realities.&#8221; I respect anyone's choice to tell their children what they wish, but think that this may be an unnecessary worry. Jesus and Santa can coexist.

what my mother told me and what I&#8217;ve told my 10 year old has always worked.
Along time ago there was a wonderful man named Santa Clause who wanted to bring joy to all of the children of the world. On the longest night of the year he decided it was the best night to deliver all of the children their favorite toys. And he did this for many many years, until he grew rather old and could not any more. For this is the cycle of life, to one-day let your soul move on. But when Santa Clauses soul moved on from this world, a piece of his sprit decided to stay behind and live within every parent of the world. So that on the longest night of every year, the sprit of giving, or the sprit of Santa is within us and makes all parents want to give to their little ones.

Honestly, mine are too young (3 and 1) for me to have experience with having to tell them Santa is not real, but I do want to help them understand as they get older that the things we say about Santa are stories, just like Cinderella or the Ugly Duckling. It's OK to use stories to teach, and it doesn't make them any less enjoyable knowing they are not true. Explaining that we are playing pretend just like we do when we wear dress-up clothes may help her understand that while Santa as a person is not real, the feelings the story invokes are special and help us learn to be kind to others and give without receiving.

I wish I had never read this question and its responses on Christmas Eve. Way to kill the spirit, I say. I think it is perfectionism of trying to be the perfect parents that leads us to these kinds of discussions. I mean, come on here, it's SANTA. And the fate of the world is at stake if we don't make the right choice, here?
Oh, and at first, I thought it would be bad if someone's kid ruined it for the others... actually, the other children would probably think the non-believer is the crazy one. So, the magic in our childrens' day to day lives will not be spoiled by one little scrooge (as seen by her peers). However, the little "scrooge" might resent being the "responsible truth-seeker" when the rest of her friends are caught up in the magic of the season.
Let the children lead. Let the children be children. And lastly, it really wouldn't have been lying if YOU had never brought it up. If a child asks point blank, feel free to tell them if you must.But why spoil it if not?

It is totally impossible to figure out when to tell your child about Santa, or if to tell your child about Santa or let your child figure it out on her/his own. My daughter will be 7 on the 28th and she has asked and asked me all month if Santa is real. I borrowed a book called "Is Santa for Real". It intermingles Santa with Jesus and St. Nick. It is awesome. She was satisfied with the answer and excited to be the Spirit of St. Nick for her little brother. She was SWORN to secrecy but I told her if she was "bursting" to say anything to say St. Nick has ALWAYS been real. She has not said anything. But during school she is feeling left out when all the children are talking about Santa. She is pretending to believe. I'm trying to make it all about the birth of Jesus so she can "believe" the REAL thing. What was the best route..who knows. I feel darned if I do and darned if I don't. You know your child. Do what is in your heart to do. Some kids get mad at parents for lying. It's hard.

I guess we're taking the middle road. We won't tell our kids that Santa is real the way their grandparents and friends at school are real, but in the way the characters of their favorite stories and movies are real. Little kids love winnie the pooh, the disney princesses, spiderman, etc. But I think even small kids are capable of making the distinction between real people and fictional characters who are lots of fun to imagine and think about. I think we'll deal with santa the way a lot of parents deal with the tooth fairy. most parents don't really emphasize the 'reality' of the tooth fairy, and most kids kinda figure out that mom or dad is putting the money under the pillow, and it's all ok. I think everyone must make their own decision though- this is just one of the many hard decisions a parent faces, and I will be making sure to help my children realize that their friends may have beliefs (all kinds of beliefs, not just santa) they don't share, but they must be respectful.

A recent book, Your Child and Santa: Help with the Christian Parents Dilemma, might be very helpful in answering your question.
Here's an exercpt from the Introduction:
This book was written to provide a concise source of information, insights, and options that will better equip Christian parents in deciding what to do, and when and how to do it. The information is provided in the following Chapters:
Understanding the Dilemma
This chapter provides a realistic discussion of the dilemma faced by Christian parents today. Suggestions are offered for what you might want and might not want from the Santa experience.It discusses the need for, and difficulty of, parents maintaining anonymity and provides insights into avoiding dishonesty while doing so.
Understanding St. Nicholas
This history of Santa Claus, from the birth of Nicholas to the Santa of today, provides a quick overview of some of the many good deeds attributed to Nicholas as a priest, a bishop, and a saint. It shows why Nicholas, who was known for his gift-giving and love for children, became the most popular of all non-biblical saints. How he came to be the original bearer of gifts to children at Christmastime and came to be known as the Santa of today. This is not for reading to your children. It&#8217;s for your understanding, so you can readily relate your understanding to them when appropriate.
The Real Santa Claus: The Spirit of St. Nicholas in Today&#8217;s World
The real Santa &#8211; the "Santa Phenomenon" &#8211; is an immense, complex operation that provides gifts to millions of children around the world overnight. This chapter addresses the spirit behind this phenomenon and makes the case that it should be named the Spirit of St. Nicholas.
So, What Do You Do?
This chapter provides insight into making the decision as to what to tell your children about Santa and the decisions required for success in building your children&#8217;s faith while preserving the excitement and joy of Santa. It suggests a stepwise process outlining what to say and when to say it. It stresses the importance of activities and events both in adding credence to what is being said and in adding love and joy to the Christmas celebration. It includes brief descriptions of a number of activities and supporting resources for your consideration.

I don't know about the rest of you, but for my daughter the influence of St. Nick lasts all year. "If you're not good, Santa isn't going to want to bring you any special toys." I mean, the spirit of Santa is very real, just like the spirit of Christmas. I think most of our parents let us be believers and we never needed therapy over it!

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