Friday, June 6, 2008

waiting on big brown

You know what's wrong with Internet shopping?

First of all, you can't touch what you want to buy. Speaking of senses (below), tactility is important. How do you know if something is soft and cuddly or crunchy, itchy, and horrible?You can't tell. The models are paid to smile, or more often not smile, no matter what they have on, so no clues there.

A corollary of that, specifically for clothes and shoes, is that you can't try it on. It always looks cute in the picture, with the lighting and the angles and the air brushing (if they do it to people's faces, would they stop at an awkward hem?) and you cross your fingers that it will somehow look as cute on you. And that the shoes won't cut and blister your feet the second you step into them.

But, most importantly, it totally ruins the whole instant gratification thing. Especially if you ordered your items seven days ago and have been anxiously tracking said items for the last three days — because really, how long does it take to ship something?!? My Netflix comes in 1.5 days — only to "see" them show up in Memphis yesterday and get all excited.

And then today to "see" that UPS tried to deliver, but a signature is required and no one was home, so they snatched them back. Gah.

Yes, I know that I, A) am very impatient and, B) should have sent them to the office.