“My most important method is open heart”: a Minister of care for working with people

“In the service of others the main thing — to love them.” As familiar as this sounds, is, according to Alexander Melnikov, is one of the most important things in working with people. One day God miraculously saved by Alexander, since he promised to dedicate to God all my life and serve Him. For many years he engaged in the Ministry of soul care ; advises the unbelievers, helps children with cancer, serves adolescents and children in the Church in Omsk, and also prepare future families for marriage. Especially for GOD.NEWS Alexander told his story of Ministry, how God is moving in people’s lives, and that is of particular importance when interacting with them.

— Good afternoon, Alexander. Tell us how it all began ?

— The question of my life was decided long ago. Once God freed me from drug addiction, then I was practically on the verge of life and death. And I said to God: “Lord, if I survive, all I have is my life, my money will belong to You.” I survived. Since then it has been almost 20 years.

In Novosibirsk 8 years I worked in the service of drug and alcohol addicts. Also I got the idea to open the access for women. And we began to work with them, we opened up for them. About 30 women successfully married, all have families now.

Two years ago we moved the family from Novosibirsk to Omsk, to do counseling. The case concerned the non-Christian. I had an idea I hatched 5 years. In Novosibirsk I have not found the opportunity to implement this. And in Omsk we opened an office, called “the Bridge”. My task is to deal with unbelieving people, that is, premarital counseling, family, parenting and crisis management. I have my own story as 8 years ago, we saved her family, she was on the verge of collapse. Why I started family counseling. Such a crisis situation close to me. So I understand people having difficulties in these areas.

— We know that you are engaged in the service of children with cancer. Please tell us about it.

— It so happened that our Church was attending the cancer center. As the children and their parents are unbelievers, I was interested in working with parents. That is to help people to survive difficult times, the loss of loved ones.

Gradually formed a team of volunteers from our Church. Wednesday from 10-11 am, we go to Oncology, at the children’s Hematology Department. Our task is to amuse the children, play with them, make a fake, to bring gifts, spend holidays, to fill the “box of courage”. “Box of courage” is a big box with toys. When they put the injections or punctures, they come and choose something yourself. Thus they can endure this suffering. I understand that they have lifted the mood at such moments. Then they pass the tests, and have improved performance. This is evidenced by the doctors. Good mood, smile on the faces is unambiguously treats.

These children have blood cancer. And often they are faced with the fact that they need to get a bone marrow transplant. It is made in St. Petersburg. Then I collect the money, where possible. And sometimes accompany there children.

When I work with children I do not show sadness. We have no negativity in them to sow. They are normal children and they need from healthy to talk. They need to understand that all will be well.

— Are you preaching to them ?

— We have no right to preach in the hospital. It’s a minor. All parents resolved. If mom don’t mind, I give you the Scripture, give them homework, they do something. I try to act natural. Also there are holidays – Christmas, Easter. I take them out of the group of people and give them the Scripture as text. They are learning, parents help. In fact they are the gospel and understand what salvation, what sacrifice, in the form of a game they have to study it, and no one can even say what I preach.

-And what about your work with children and adolescents in the Church?

— I have three kids, and they all pass adolescence. I am very much concerned about what will happen to them next. The Church has children’s Ministry, Teens, youth. On the baby I’m holding a meeting about parenting, about the emotional closeness between fathers and children. Women we don’t touch. Because I believe if a man will be all right in the head, any woman will go for him, we want strong men in the Church. To blame the woman if the family problem is, it’s wrong. So we invested in men. My Bishop supports me and helps me in this sense. Why I am a PTA meeting. We fathers find common ground. Teenage service anywhere in key moments, I also present.

For example, when teenagers become young people, they naturally come for premarital counselling to me. They run and say “Help”. Previously, they were afraid. And now they understand that the wrong relationship is a dead end. And if they want something truly serious, then you need to get away from it. They come to me, and we begin to work with them and counseling.

— What is your main method when you work with people ?

To say I’m a specialist in work with adolescents and youth I can’t. It is interesting to me because I myself want to be a good father. It’s the same people, if suddenly people from dysfunctional families, it is clear that he does not have his father’s attention. If it’s a girl, she will cling to anyone and everyone who gives it attention. So we try to replace their fathers somewhere, to communicate with them, to meet. I believe that a person becomes a harmonious personality when he has a close relationship with God and with parents. If there are problems with the parents, then we are included. We have to give them this emotional intimacy, if her parents do not give them. This is to ensure that the child adolescence experience full and then go to youth. Generally my method of counselling is an open heart.

Also, when people hear my testimony, they think – “If you did, then why don’t I believe?” I think we just need to love people and be with them. You need to understand how much a person needs of time. There is a period of crying, there is a period of awareness, of farewell with the past. Because if you don’t leave the past, not the present.

— Probably many will be interested to know about premarital counselling. Please tell us about it.

The main thing – for me it is a motive of man to create a family. If he says he just wants to be happy, the marriage will fail. If a man wants to make a woman happy, then they will succeed. The Bible is a wise book. It says – “Love your wife, and all will be well.” Now, if Christ had a wife who would run from morning coffee to do? Jesus. And people usually? In my family, I began to do it.

To change the situation in my family, I began to do everything differently. A woman dependent on men. In fact, everything is simple. God told man that he would be the head, that is all the hard stuff it needs to do to take care of his family, wife, children. He is responsible for the condition of his wife. And the woman — she’s a defendant. That’s what you gave her – so she will respond. When the man embedded in her, he will get the answer. A man usually says: “And I ? And I ? Why didn’t I get?”

But this is not the gospel. A man should be strong. It needs to be a step ahead and the woman will always reach for him, will respect and everything will be fine.

-What for you is the biggest fruit?

In the Epistle to Timothy it is written: “Rich in the present age we exhort that they are not in his riches were hoping for, but on God, who gives richly all things to enjoy “.

I believe that a person must learn to enjoy what he does. I get pleasure from counselling. When one came broken, and then leaves smiling, begins to love his family, wife. And then they start to serve, children to raise. Now, this I enjoy.