For Fatal Attraction? Good, justice for that poor rabbit is long overdue. This has nothing to do with bunny boiling.

Then why is she apologising? Is it her gigantic perm? Oh, be quiet, it was the 80s. We all looked like that back then. No, Close wishes to apologise for her insensitive portrayal of mental illness in the film.

Go on. She regrets playing up to the pervasive negative stereotypes of the day. "Most people with mental illness are not violent," she told CBS News. "And most people who commit violent crimes do not have a diagnosed mental illness. That is wrong, and it's proven wrong and it is immoral to keep that perpetrated."

What? You mean to say that not everyone with a mental illness ends up trying to stab Michael Douglas in his bathroom? Pretty much not a single person with mental illness has ever tried to stab Michael Douglas in his bathroom. Astonishing, isn't it?

Out of interest, did we ever learn what type of mental illness Glenn Close's character had? Apparently it was Clérambault's syndrome, a form of paranoid delusion based on the false assumption that a figure of admiration is in love with them, although Close maintains that this was never discussed during production.

Clérambault's syndrome, eh? Sounds weird. Listen, you're the one talking to yourself. At least Close is conscientious enough to finally speak out about this after such a long time.

You're right. Hey, while she's at it, can she apologise for 102 Dalmatians as well? Because she played Cruella De Vil's manic tendencies for laughs?

No, because it wasn't very good. Well, I suppose that's only fair.

Do say: "More actors should sensitively examine the underlying motivations of their characters."

Don't say: "This is all well and good, but it's hardly going to bring that poor rabbit back to life."