Month: May 2010

the way i see it, i have no control over if/when i get pregnant again and then, if i do- if i’ll actually ever achieve a child out of a pregnancy. i mean, i can take steps for fertility and all, but getting pregnant and staying pregnant are clearly challenges for me. i guess i …

i can’t decide which hates me more, my body or my God. this feeling of emptiness of bleeding someone else’s blood someone i was supposed to take care of to provide a sanctuary but instead oh no but instead death and not life seems like death is always my answer in a time of year …

so going back to work today and operating on someone to take the cancer out of their belly has me realizing (duh) that the world is moving on and that my problems aren’t really so insurmountable. despite my idle threats to harm myself in increasingly dramatic and unrealistic ways (shark attack, robots vs wrestlers, dueling …

so, this morning i’m teary and angry. the anger has many sides, but the big ones right now are: a- i was totally duped into thinking i was pregnant for almost a month after i wasn’t. i feel like an idiot. or a crazy person. like i was making up all those symptoms. and did …

so last night i had this dream that i was breast feeding. and it was totally vivid and amazing. i even included some specific details and frustrations like how one side worked better than the other, having to find places to hide to nurse in public, etc. i woke up smiling, feeling so certain that …

8 wks along and feeling great! still eating everything in sight and, unlike last time when i womited daily, NO NAUSEA!! which is wonderful. means i’m putting on some weight- haven’t checked how much, but can see it in how my pants (don’t) fit. when a concerned person asked yesterday if i was already getting …

…is a bitter sweet day for a lot of people i know. those who are trying and haven’t achieved children can find it a slap in the face. those who have suffered losses can find it a painful reminder. for my mom, when we were young it was a day when she got hand made …

so in the process of surviving the miscarriage and enduring months of infertility, i locked in with an amazing group of women who had been through some sort of infertility/pregnancy loss themselves. i have mentioned them a lot in this blog because their support has been invaluable to me and their demonstration of strength and …

Sarah Zimmerman

Sarah is a writer and a Physician Assistant, mom of two, wife of one, and co-owner of a vegan ice cream business. She aims to keep laughing, finding the funny in the hard stuff of life.
She is the third place winner of the 2018 Mark Twain House Royal Nonesuch Humor Writing Contest: https://marktwainhouse.org/royal-nonesuch