Taking Care of Myself

10:16 am: I'm getting dilated, so I should do this before I can't see near
at all. It's kind of hard when the only real sight I have is near, and
they take it away with the drops. I can manage, though, and my sunglasses
are just barely strong enough to make thins bearable when I go out into
the Colorado sunshine.

So I'm changing writing formats, again. I've been doing the account of
every day after it happens for a while, and I'm tired of it, and I'm not
keeping my journal up as much as I really want to. Better, now to just
write about what's on my brain, when I get the chance and cover whatever
didn't get covered before on the day that I can write. Some things, like
the trip back West, will be done day by day. There will be enough details
that I don't want to forget that it's worth doing it. For everyday stuff,
it's easier to just write about what I'm thinking about at the moment I
think about it.

So the appointment this morning was due to a bunch of back pressure
building up for the last couple of months. Yesterday I finally called the
dentist, the eye doctor, and CeLena and got appointments for everything.
I'm on my last box of contact lenses and it's better to just not pressure
myself. I found a nice slot this morning and John's used to me not being
around on Fridays. So it made it easy.

I've not been to CeLena's since the last of last year. I felt like I was
becoming too dependent on the massage, and that there were better and less
expensive ways to take care of tension. On the most part it's worked.
One bad thing has been as a result of using the track ball too much and my
right arm has been trashed between that, knitting a couple of pretty heavy
duty things, and writing more with fountain pens in books. Writing that
much, yes. So I needed to get together with her in order to get some of
the worst of that worked out.

I also want to make an appointment with a local family doctor. I want to
see if I can get a prescription or recommendation for massage therapy so
that I can pay for it out of the medical account. I also called the
dentist in order to get a new splint made because my jaw has still been
aching and there's a crack in the splint that I have that runs the length
of it. It's about time to get that taken care of.

I do note that all of those things are things for taking care of myself
and that I haven't really been doing much more than the twice weekly trip
to the rec. center. The exercise has actually been quite good, as I've
been sleeping better and feeling better for doing it for quite a while.
I'm now up to a 200+ kcal workout each time, when I started with just a
100 kcal workout. So it's a nice advance.

I do hurt, though. I haven't been admitting that lately. My whole right
arm hurts like heck. My back, legs, neck, and shoulders have actually
been better. My legs ache but it's just workout ache, not tension or
holding in one position too long ache. I've been stretching more, moving
things more and generally taking the time to take breaks. That's been
good. It really is making me a better mom, I think, too, as it's been
making me more mellow and better able to keep up with Jet.

Jet's getting over his cold. He's sleeping a little better at night. He
also had a blast at the pool, yesterday. He was great about being in
child care. In the middle of the hour, though, while I was still on the
elliptical, I heard the announcement system say, "John Rostykus to the
Childcare center, John Rostykus..." I got off, cleaned off the machine,
and went down with visions of a blood covered Jet needing his first
stitches in my head. but it turned out that all he needed was a change.
*giggles* That was quite the relief. I helped John out and then we went
back and did weights until the time was up.

Jet then trotted the whole way to the locker rooms. He wiggled into his
swimsuit and carefully carried his float. he had a great time just
jumping up and down. Then he started just diving into the water. He'd be
on the step in the 'deep end', and suddenly jump for the deep water, even
with our backs turned. And he'd thrash around until we lifted him up a
little. He seemed to believe that the thrashing around was enough to get
him back up or something. but he went at it with great gusto and no
fear. That was kind of cool. He had no fear of getting underwater, and
just would come up kicking hard. He loved it.

He ran around, had some time in the lazy river area, in his float, and he
had a great time just wandering about. He did a lot more sliding down the
slide feet first than usual, and experimented for a while with attempting
to come down head first. he got stymied every time by us, but when the
lifeguard stopped him he didn't do it again.

Smart boy.

He walked up the stairs to the tops of the BIG slides twice. Even after
seeing John go down it, he didn't want to go himself, but he was
fascinated. He really fought hard when I picked him up, as he thought I
was going to take him down the slide. But when I started going back down
the stairs, he stopped fighting and started nodding. He was much happier
when he figured out that he was being listened to.

I was glad of that.

Afterwards, we went to the Souper! Salad! and had a great dinner. Jet was
kind of punch drunk by that time, happy and smiling and obviously so tired
he could barely sit up. John took him home when they'd finished eating,
leaving me to my dessert. My after dinner treat included a quick trip to
Wal-Mart, where I bought another pair of ten dollar jeans, a belt that
actually fits me, a pair of leggings that were just too nice to pass up,
and two bags of socks. One bag was for me, as I am wearing socks,
regularly, to the gym, and needed something that wasn't going all to holes
or were dark dress socks. One bag was for Jet and the look utterly too
large for him, thought the smaller socks are obviously too small for him.
They keep riding up his foot, so that the heel is halfway between his heel
and toes. One good washing and these should be his size.

I was very, very surprised to find Jet and John still awake when I got
home. Jet was perfectly happy, and so tired, he wove when he walked, but
he wouldn't go to sleep. John was pretty tired, so when Jet asked to
nurse I said, "Sure!" and let John get some sleep.

Jet did pretty well, last night. John, however, was up at 4 and stayed up
or at least out of the room. I had trouble getting to sleep until I took
two Motrin. Things just ached too much from the complete workout.

10:36 pm: The rest of the exam went well at the eye doctor's. I then ran
over to the Belgium chocolate
place in Boulder. I had a heck of a time finding it with my eyes half
squinted shut, even with the sunglasses on. It was funny finding that I
was perfectly comfortable having my sunglasses on in the parking garage,
which is underground.

Anyway. I got some chocolate for Mei and Erik, and then got a bar for
myself as well. Then went to the Asian market for some frozen ramen.
It's way more expensive than the dried kind, but I love the texture so
much more that it's well worth it to pay five whole dollars for three
servings.

Then home. To find Jet still up. So I took Jet outside and we played
outside for a while as John worked. Finally, Jet agreed to go inside and
nurse, and we did so and Jet napped for a good hour and a half. John had
a meeting that he finished, and another. When Jet woke up, John took care
of him, and they went out to do some errands.

I went to my massage at CeLena's. It was very good. We found out that
what I'm doing is working well for relieving tension pretty much
everywhere, other than my shoulders and arm. I've coped well. She didn't
seem to mind that I hadn't come for so long, and I felt really good
afterwards. It was good to do it even on the occasional basis. I was
glad I did it.

Home again, home again, and John took care of a good, quick dinner of
grilled sausages with pesto, whole wheat spaghetti. Jet wouldn't eat a
thing. Ah well. He had a whole corn dog for lunch. We made him pizza
for dinner, but he wouldn't touch it. I was kind of sad about that. Then
he had another big poopy, and then he ate for John. So that was good.

I worked some more. I needed the time. John took care of getting Jet
into his sleeper and everything, and Jet fell asleep on John. I took him
up to bed while John went to sleep, and now I get to write.

I'm kind of stymied by the cruise so far as the journal goes. I'm
probably going to have to set aside time and get through that block of
entries before I'll post all of March. I need to do that.