Monday, February 7, 2005

Volatility

Confess to being plumb wore out right now. Lots of things seem
to be are going awry, which is an expected feeling around the fourth
week of a demanding semester. And yes, one self-monitor cautions me to
buck up, chill out, keep it steady, and another self-monitor--Disrupter--takes a
more rancorous tenor, blares like a high-and-whiny siren. And another....

Instead of pining over a lackluster day and a stack of work among other
stressors, I suppose I ought to wrap this back into broader issues (from
classes, of course) about network literacy and identity. I think my only
point for now is that finding a rhythm is just one tender, deceptive sliver of
living the interconnection; rhythm-finding is obscured by ease, yes? When
the process/system (of blogging, since, what the heck, that's under the
micro-scope) is least visible, it is susceptible to
disruption. Writing is easy, not easy. What I'm trying to work through is the
extent to which the bumps are explicit or the extent to which the strain of
doctoral study makes its way into a space frequented by colleagues whom I see
every day at work. And so I suppose this gives an opening to theorizing
the network as wrought with dynamics I still don't understand, new and
unpredictable avenues for being placed into
variousstatements. The schizo-network
(made possible by meeting twice or doubly), as a consequence of competing,
overlapping and near-simultaneous representations, is
vulnerable and, perhaps no matter how widely distributed, somewhat degraded.
Yeah, that's what I wanted to say. It knows woe; it
interpolates absence, it senses strain, recovers quietly.

The unbinding can become so overpowering that it colonizes subjectivities
and tears them apart; with no guarantee of either a stable past or a connected
future, it is impossible to believe in the unity of a single, stable
subject--the subject of our previous discussions of literacy. (Wysocki and
Johnson-Eilola 365)