art & writing by jaysen matthew waller

Today our friend Vu Dang passed. I write “our friend” because anyone who embodies love and light as Vu does is truly a friend to this world, to all life. I am holding in my heart his dear wife/partner Chris, his family, his friends, and all touched by his teaching at Dang Good Yoga. I sat and meditated today with Vu in my heart, practicing Metta (lovingkindness). Vu was a friend to anyone he encountered, a beloved teacher and Yogi. I would say (though he’d disagree) that he was also a Zen master. In the face of suffering, he remained the epitome of courage, of open-heartedness, of kindness and gentleness, of presence. He practiced with Thich Nhat Hanh’s community and embodied Thay’s gatha – “I have arrived, I am home.” And to be in Vu’s presence was to surely feel that we had also arrived and were home.
A few years ago, I had created some artwork to be raffled at a fundraiser put together by wonderful friends to benefit Vu in his struggle with cancer. I also created a piece specifically inspired and for Vu, for his birthday. It took me a year to finally give it to him in person (he was so patient and gracious about that, of course). It is pictured below. It touched my heart deeply and with gratitude to see him post the art from time to time as a reminder to others that they too “are the sound of life, the song of love” to “just be” – most recently as his New Year’s greeting/post and another time with the note to “Please remember…”
I am grateful to have first met Vu in high school so many years ago, grateful to reconnect, grateful to learn from his presence – I know I will continue to learn from his presence as I continue the practice, of being open-hearted, kind, and brave. I hope to one day have his grace, his wisdom, his presence. I know a light like his doesn’t dim, that such a light is with us as we practice, as we live and love.
I will repost specific details on donations to the UCSD Moore Cancer Center, when his family provides them. In the meantime, please keep them in your heart, in your prayers, and let us live as open-hearted with love as Vu 😌❤️🙏🏻📿

Besides sharing an initial post and some friends’ posts, I haven’t shared much since the most recent mass shooting that took place in Parkland, Florida at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. I’ve just been at a loss for words. The expected debate on media and in social media has been the same as the previous times with lame comparisons to death by motor vehicles, the assertions that if a killer wants to kill they will kill, calling the perpetrator evil, scapegoating the mentally ill, blaming media, etc. all the while claiming with clenched fist that having horrific weapons is a right that supersedes life. It’s insanity. Of course the issue of gun violence is a complex one including issues of mental illness (and it is clear that this young perpetrator was failed in this regard), a culture that at times glorifies violence for entertainment, and at times encourages cynicism. These should have our attention as should other issues that have been brought up recently, issues of toxic masculinity, toxic individualism, and white nationalism. Yes, we need better health care for all that includes mental health services. All of this should be looked at, but much of this isn’t unique to the United States, but mass shootings at the level we are seeing are.

The elephant in the room is the AR-15 and weapons like it, created for one thing only – killing as many people possible in as short a time as possible. They are meant for war. But we aren’t allowed to have a debate about it even though the reality is most American and even most gun owners are in line with banning such weapons (not all guns! Just mass killing machines) and having sensible gun regulation. Yet, the NRA and some in political leadership won’t have the discussion and refuse to give up the “right” to have a killing machine, valuing that right over the lives of children, and life in general.

Seeing all of this come up again and again is enough to bring on despair and cynicism, but something changed this time. Like a soldier who has seen the unspeakable horror of war and speaks out against such atrocity, these children, these young citizens having seen the horror of gun violence first hand are not backing down. They are the future and their message is clear: Life is what is to be valued. There is a path being cleared within all of the usual insanity, with cutting clarity by these young people. I’m inspired by them, I want to reignite my voice to join with their strong voices, supporting them, standing with them.

There is hope.

~j

“We serve life not because it is broken, but because it is holy.” ~ Mother Teresa

the Second Amendment states, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

this is not what is going on here.

much of this country has a sickness – fear, anger, aggression, isolation, self-preservation at the cost of other life.

our young are dying and we are only asking to have an authentic conversation about legitimate and fair gun regulation. and once again we are told this isn’t the time. it wasn’t after the other shootings either…still waiting.