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Be on the lookout for exploding artichokes, spraying their jagged leaves in wide circles!

Pioneer Press

Posted:
09/17/2013 12:01:00 AM CDT

Updated:
09/18/2013 08:36:42 AM CDT

Our birds, ourselves (Ask Al B Division)

We heard from FLICKA JEAN: "Found these feathers in my back yard yesterday. I've never seen polka-dotted feathers. They are only about 2 inches in length. "Wondering if the 'resident birder,' alias Al B., knows what kind of a bird they came from?"

"Nifty feathers. They are likely wing feathers from a downy woodpecker. They could be from a hairy woodpecker, but the hairy is a larger bird. Not every bird looks good in polka dots, but these two manage to pull it off. The downy and the hairy woodpeckers look very much alike. Both species have black-and-white tails, wings and heads, with white breasts and backs. Look to their beaks for identification. The downy has a narrow, short beak, while the hairy has a long beak that looks like it would tolerate no nonsense. If the bill is dinky, it's a downy. If it's huge, it's a hairy.

"Your wonderful question has inspired me to add some polka dots to my meager wardrobe. [Bulletin Board advises: Not every bird looks good in polka dots!]

"Thanks for finding the beauty in a feather."

Writes The Saint Paul Snail:
"Page 12A of the 9/14/2013 edition of the paper had an interesting case of a figurative statement that could be read literally, resulting in great confusion.

"Joyfully taken out of context: 'Many were struck by the artichoke plant, which sprayed its jagged leaves in a wide circle.' Was this some exploding plant? Were many people injured? No, it was a typographical error that turned a peaceful plant whose leaves were spread out or apart (splayed) into a violent vegetable whose leaves flew out and attacked (sprayed) passersby.

"Instead of being figuratively struck (by the artichoke's appearance), the typographical error makes it seem like people were literally struck.

"What a different an 'r' makes. It's 'l' when that happens."

Joy of Juxtaposition

Ghoti's Mom: "Preparing today's supper, I discovered that I was lacking an essential ingredient. Off I went to acquire the necessary item. While browsing through the store, I saw something I had not seen before. Now, to be honest, I see artichokes every time I am in the store, but these were tiny little fist-sized things called 'baby artichokes.' I had never seen them so small, or ever heard of them called 'baby artichokes' before. They looked tempting, but I really want a larger scoop to transport the hollandaise to my mouth, so I walked on past.

"This afternoon, I was listening to Julia Child's show on public television, and her guest co-host was demonstrating a dish with 'baby artichokes.

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' Whee.

"Definitely a Joy of Juxtaposition!"

Then & Now

Writes Brucekeys: "I'm not sure if anyone has written in about the Diamond Products (formerly Gillette) factory, which is disappearing from the downtown St. Paul landscape. So here goes:

"It began its life in 1970 as the Toni Company. But the real beginning was in the 1940s, when the Harris brothers from St. Paul developed a product that women could use to perm their hair at home. I'm not sure why, but it was called the Toni home permanent. It was manufactured in the building that occupied the Farmers' Market site. Most of us OTD folks recall the 'Which twin has the Toni?' commercials, which were everywhere back in the day. The Toni home perm met with great success, and the company grew wildly. Other products, marketed primarily to women, were introduced: Toni and Tame creme rinse, White Rain shampoo and hairspray, and brands such as Dippity Do, Deep Magic, Soft and Dri, Adorn. Gillette, the Boston-based shaving company, bought Toni in 1948 to augment its male-oriented product lines.

"By the mid-'60s, Toni had outgrown the nine or so floors of its downtown site. A warehouse, recently repurposed for light-rail maintenance, was built in 1967. The ongoing need to expand, and structural concerns in the old building, prompted the company to build the factory that is now being demolished. Construction started in late 1968, and the building was occupied in 1970. Although owned by Gillette, it was still the Toni Company at that time, and large lit 'Toni' signs in the product script were placed on several sides of the building. It was a massive concrete structure, touted as the second-largest concrete pour in the Twin Cities, the airport being the largest. At its peak, it was a workplace for 1,200 or so employees, who earned good wages, benefits and retirements.

"The Toni identity disappeared over the years --first from the plant, as it was folded into Gillette manufacturing, and finally from product shelves, as the company dropped the Toni brand due to competitive pressure.

"Fast-forward to this century. Gillette and then Diamond Products lost interest in owning the plant. In the end, it was a white elephant in the Lowertown cityscape with no viable purpose. So it is time to say 'Go, Saints!' But also, better late than never: 'Goodbye, Toni.' "

The passing show

The Old Woodchopper of Eagan: "A couple of weeks ago, The Bride of 44 Years and I were returning from the North Shore on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. As the Interstate was all hosed up south of Duluth, we decided to take old Highway 61 -- which was the main highway before Interstate 35 was built.

"As we worked our way south of Moose Lake, we saw a motorcycle with a sidecar attached to it about a block ahead of us. We didn't pay much attention to it until we got closer and realized that there was no one riding on the motorcycle, but the sidecar was occupied!

"As we came up behind the unit, we noticed that the sidecar was not a sidecar as we would know it, but a four-sided expanded metal cage with a drop-gate of expanded metal as a loading ramp on the back side.

"We also realized that in this cage was a wheelchair with a gentleman in it, and that the controls for the bike had been transferred over to the wheelchair.

"As we passed him, we saw an older bearded gentleman, fully dressed in his 'colors,' motoring along with a smile on his face. Whether it was due to old age, disease or accident, this truly was a triumph of human spirit over a spent body.

"Keep riding, my friend!"

The little treasures (responsorial)

Jimmy D.: "That '55 Chev in Sunday's Bulletin Board was my car. I bought it when I was 16 years old. The wife and I went on our first date in it, our honeymoon, and brought home our first child, daughter Sue, in that car. And it was beautiful! I sold it to that kid Tom at Vince's Pure Oil, and he told me that he and his friend were going to make a stock car out of it. I spent all of my adolescent years, and beyond that, at Vince's. Great memories there.

"P.S. Did you have to run that picture on my birthday?"

Not exactly what they had in mind

Anonymous Nurse of the North: "I was putting the electric blanket on the bed yesterday, and it reminded me of an incident a few years ago.

"We went to bed and turned the blanket on. After a while I was still cold, so I turned up the heat. It didn't seem to be working, so I tried turning it up during the night.

"The next day, I was talking to Music Nuts about the blanket not working -- and he apparently had begun roasting and kept turning his side down.

"I had the switches set up on the wrong side, so I was roasting him and he was freezing me."

Till death us do part

Or: Great comebacks

Wisc. Gpa: "Whenever I'm in my shorts or nude on the way to the shower, my spouse, Wisc. Gma, says: 'Nice outfit.' Being a bit tired of that phrase, the other day I answered: 'Thank you ... and did you know it's over 82 years old and still fits?' "

Darnedest things

WARNING! Cute kid story ahead, from Little Orphan Grannie: "A couple of weekends ago, our friends John and Gwen traveled down to southern Wisconsin to visit their daughter and her family. John was talking with one of his grandsons, Andy, who is 6 years old, and asked him if he was excited to start school. Andy acknowledged that he was. John asked Andy what he thought was going to be the most challenging part about school, and Andy replied: 'Homework.'

"Then John asked: 'Do you know how you can be really smart? You go to the library and get a book and read it.'

"To which Andy replied: 'Grandpa, I'm only 6 years old, and I can't read a word, and I'm not going to start now.' "