How to Have Multiple Orgasms Without Making Him Jealous

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You are woman who can reach the heights of pleasure multiple times during a single sexual encounter. How embarrassing! Unfortunately, your male counterpart is stuck with a one-and-done situation, and he might be feeling pretty jealous if you start showing off. Did anybody ever tell you how selfish you are? In order to keep him from feeling SUPER jealous, here are some sneaky suggestions to make your man feel like he’s the one coming out on top:

Exclaim that you see an intruder. If your orgasms get pretty vocal, just moan as though someone is breaking into your apartment. For example, you can turn, “Yes! Yes! Oh god, yes!” into “Yes! Yes! Oh god, yesterday, I forgot to lock the door and there’s a scary man watching us!” Don’t worry about him calling the cops—he’ll be too concerned about his flaccid penis!

Botox your face to within an inch of its life. He won’t recognize your “O face” if you are physically unable to make it! Maintain a neutral, but pleasant-looking façade while your insides are exploding with pleasure. Bonus: No frown lines!

Cover his face with a pillow. Tell him you want him to focus on his sense of touch, then, when he says that could be hot, use a pillow to block out his sight and hearing. That way you can be as loud and as expressive as you want. Just be very careful not to smother him—manslaughter is not sexy and he’s not the type of guy who could really handle that.

Tell him you learned how to do “The Worm.” If you mention this classic dance move pre-coitus, chances are he’ll assume that’s what you’re doing when, in fact, you’re having yet another fully-body, bed-rocking orgasm. To keep up the illusion, make sure you keep dancing after you finish. This is all part of the entertainment!

Good luck, Goddess! We wish you multiples and multiples of orgasms—as long as he only knows about one of them!