Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

Re: Wedding Gifts

I normally give $200 as a wedding gift, but I was recently invited to a wedding that's in Pittsburgh, PA. I will have to take time off work, fly across the country, shack up in a hotel and get a rental car. I'm thinking it'll cost me about $800, not including meals. Would it be acceptable to be a bit on the cheap side for the gift, or should I just shell out the money?

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

The trip to the wedding is a gift to yourself so that you may participate in and be a witness to the joyous occasion. That said, no gift from a bridal registry is ever unacceptable, regardless of price; it is not the bride and groom's business to worry about the state of your financial affairs.

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

I just got married a few weeks ago, and we really didn't pay any attention to the relative costs of the gifts we received (especially those which came from the registry) - we were just happy to get the things we did. If you're worried that a "cheaper" gift will send the message to your friends that you don't care about them, make a card or do something else to personalize the gift.

Originally Posted by roberto73

I'd contribute to this discussion but I'm still busy reminiscing about the halcyon days of punk. You know, the mid-90s.

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

Originally Posted by nosurprises12

I just got married a few weeks ago, and we really didn't pay any attention to the relative costs of the gifts we received (especially those which came from the registry) - we were just happy to get the things we did.

This.

We were also happy to see people who didn't bring/send gifts; that was certainly not on our minds day-of or anytime surrounding. We were happy to receive gifts from people who weren't able to make it. We were happy for congratulations and good wishes from people that didn't make it and didn't send gifts.

So Robin, I think it is entirely up to you. It seems to be very reasonable to give a cheaper gift than you otherwise would, especially as they would (likely) never know.

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

Originally Posted by nosurprises12

I just got married a few weeks ago, and we really didn't pay any attention to the relative costs of the gifts we received (especially those which came from the registry) - we were just happy to get the things we did. If you're worried that a "cheaper" gift will send the message to your friends that you don't care about them, make a card or do something else to personalize the gift.

Originally Posted by mountmccabe

This.

We were also happy to see people who didn't bring/send gifts; that was certainly not on our minds day-of or anytime surrounding. We were happy to receive gifts from people who weren't able to make it. We were happy for congratulations and good wishes from people that didn't make it and didn't send gifts.

So Robin, I think it is entirely up to you. It seems to be very reasonable to give a cheaper gift than you otherwise would, especially as they would (likely) never know.

Thanks, y'all! This made me feel a bit better about going "cheap-o" on him. We're not even that close of friends. I just realized that buying something off the registry will allow me to have that cost on a different billing cycle than the rest of the trip.

Originally Posted by captncrzy

True. It's not like people know what you generally give as a wedding gift.

I am currently wishing I could go back in time and befriend Robin before our wedding.

You can always send me a fake invitation and "cancel" the wedding after receiving my gift. I'm pretty gullible.

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

Originally Posted by Courtney

This is the definitive thread for advice and tips on how to behave with good manners and social graces in any situation.

Want to know what to bring when your pot-smoking mother-in-law invites you to your first shared Thanksgiving? Confused on what sort of Christmas gift to give your boss that says both "I am a thoughtful and competent employee" and "give me a raise already you asshole"? Unsure of how best to phrase letters of correspondence to the soccer mom mafia who steal the only handicapped parking space at your child's school? Wondering how best to inform your FWB that although you would love to spend the night, you are currently bleeding uterine lining? Look no further.

No question is too serious or too frivolous.

I just noticed this. If this isn't a joke thread, I am going to be studying closely.

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

Have side dishes with crusted tops been covered yet? I mean, is a strict vertical cut protocol or is a surface scoop where you get a healthy serving of toasted corn flakes and bread crumbs fine too? What if the person in front of you takes a surface cut leaving no other option?

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

When in doubt: tip

I just had someone come out to replace my windshield. He came out within 2 hours of placing the call and was super awesome. I wasn't sure if this type of service warrants a tip, but I gave him a $20, anyways. Was that too much?

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

Originally Posted by Robin

When in doubt: tip

I just had someone come out to replace my windshield. He came out within 2 hours of placing the call and was super awesome. I wasn't sure if this type of service warrants a tip, but I gave him a $20, anyways. Was that too much?

I don't think I would have tipped in that situation, but I don't see anything wrong with it.

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

While i can't agree with this sentiment, I've heard that it is always rude, though the rudeness can be translated into humor. Realistically, I think if you were to be saying that as a director in a film or performance art piece, then I think it is completely non-rude.

Pro-tip® I always just say it anyway and gauge its appropriateness on the reaction of the person whom it was directed.

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

Originally Posted by fatbastard

Scenario: Attended a funeral and about to go and meet for a meal and drinks. Is it in bad form to get drunk, if so, how much should someone drink?

A few weeks ago a suicide prevention sign went up in our neighborhood and it was a point of discussion among our family. I made some comment about how with high unemployment and dwindling natural resources, people should be encouraged to kill themselves. A few days later my cousin killed himself. His funeral is in a few days and I feel very conspicuous if not necessarily guilty.