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Monday, April 11, 2011

Defeat the Vampires!

By Heidi Hiatt

WordPress.com blogger annotoole posted the first video listed below today. After I watched it, I realized that a well-known author has posted a whole series of videos to arm the public against manipulative and abusive people.

(Sarah! When did you do this? These are brilliant! What a fun and interesting way to help people avoid and break free from those we’ve always called vampires. Well done, and I love the nods to Lindner and Cleckley. My only beef is the swearing, but I understand why it’s included.)

Ladies and gents, we’ve dated, been engaged to, and married these people. We’ve worked for, are related to, and socialize with them. Some of us may be with them now. Like moths to light, they are drawn to strong, sensitive, successful, giving people that they can use as power sources in an attempt to fill the bottomless pits inside of themselves.

They come to us with a tragic circumstance or critical need that we loving people feel that we are destined to fix. They read us carefully and parrot our values, likes, and dislikes back to us so that we feel instantly bonded to them. They hide truths about their pasts and presents so that we will fit neatly into the niche in their lives that seems to have been custom-made for us.

But once we find that there is a disconnect between their words and actions, that they frequently say they’ll do things they don’t do, that they refuse to maintain proper boundaries with the opposite sex, and so on, they will start to push us away. We become the enemy. Everything becomes our fault. We are constantly reminded of what horrible people we are and how wonderful their other targets (partners) are in contrast.

The more you know about the hidden parts of their life and their affairs, the more you will be attacked. They will enlist the help of others to make you look like the instigator, and cut you loose without any regard for your well-being to allow them to finish their other meals. Because ultimately, they are predators, and you, as a whole, loving, sacrificial child of God, are a feast to them.

I remember what I said before I made the terrible mistake of trusting a vampire: either he’s the smoothest talker I’ve ever met, or he’s the one. He turned out to be the former, the exact type of soul-sucking black hole vortex these videos discuss, to whom I was merely a filling station on the highway of life.

Lacking light, hope, faith, and warmth in his life, he turned to multiple women at once to satisfy his sickness and moved on to more. The endless lies allowed him to act as if he were a serious relationship candidate but be something else entirely. His past, once verified, was different than he said or perceived that it was.

When questioned he could not inflict enough head games, gaslighting, and insults combined with compliments to keep me off balance. When you’re not standing on your own two feet you can be dragged along behind the psycho wagon easily, questioning if something’s wrong with you when the problem is in fact him.

Both men and women are capable of this behavior. Most adults have either experienced these people or know someone who has. They come from every walk of life and class in society. They pry their way into our hearts with pity and consume us like fire.

But remember– we are stronger than them. That’s why they were attracted to us in the first place.

Years ago, I began to realize that the people in my life who attacked me for not bowing to their soul-sucking darkness all seemed to be inwardly deformed by the same disease. When I started to research this, I read Dr. Robert Hare’sSnakes in Suits and was floored to find that someone had already penned a book about one of my experiences.

Since then, other experts have continued to affirm my experiences in words eerily similar to my own records of what has happened. The experiences of vampires’ victims are universal. As their misdeeds and predatory exploits are brought into the light, victims are learning how to beat them at their own game.

Arm yourself with the knowledge in these videos, draw on God’s unlimited strength, grace, and mercy, and break free from these vampires forever!

Zxcvbnm, great article! If teens were educated about vampires, they would be much less likely to be taken advantage of as adults. Reality is that most of us weren't, and some of us were even raised by dark souls, so we went into adult life largely oblivious to the seductions of the blood-sucking set.

One comment I have on your article is that you say that adults know when to walk away. I would argue that many times we don't because, as Sandra Brown says, pathology has subtle beginnings. We're like the frog in the pot of water that doesn't realize it's boiling until it's too late (or at least until we're very hurt).

I applaud your efforts to educate teens-- who knows how many heartaches and lives you'll save by doing so.

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