The first task involved sausages and one salesman certainly had sizzle. A hobbity, hair-gelled 21 year-old from the Isle of Man introduced himself thus: “I’m Stuart Baggs The Brand. Everything I touch turns to sold.” Behold, a series villain was born.

9) Ad nauseam

The advertising task challenged the candidates to create TV commercials for a new household cleaner. Ex-squaddie Christopher Farrell’s crew made an unreconstructed, sexist ad for “Octi-Clean”, starring a pretty model doing housework in an octopus costume. The other team – led by bumbling Alex Epstein, who does marketing for a day job – outdid them with “Germinator” (slogan: “Hasta la vista, gravy”). Sadly, it was advertised by a child. Even though chemical cleaner isn’t safe for children.

8) Crunch time

When the teams went crisp-selling in Hamburg, Baggs proudly showed off his GCSE German and dubbed himself, rather unfortunately, “Herr Baggs”. He told team-mate Laura Moore to talk slowly so she could be understood by locals, but Moore proceeded to garble breathlessly to baffled clients. Did she sell any snacks? Nein.

7) Karma comedian

Blonde, bespectacled blabbermouth Melissa Cohen was Baggs’s rival as chief irritant. She could start an argument in an empty room and incessantly made up words, including “managence”, “manoeuvrement”, “disguiseful” and “professionality”. When she was fired for annoying clients, Cohen seemed surprised (“Really? They found me irritating?”) before saying of her rivals: “Karmically, they will be retributed.”

6) Licence to kilt

For the haggling task, team leader Jamie Lester told Bates and Baggs to approach negotiations “with a story”. The hapless duo took this literally. As Sugar’s aide Karren Brady observed, they were soon spinning yarns that were “a bit Laurel and Hardy”. Bates told an incredulous tartan cloth merchant: “I’m going to a wedding in Scotland this weekend and I’m taking it for my nan. Yes, erm, it’s her birthday as well, actually.”

5) Hello Mags, bye bye Baggs

The return of Lord Sugar’s much-loved former sidekick Margaret Mountford in the semi-final round saw Baggs get his comeuppance after 11 weeks of blowhard business-speak. As one of Sugar’s inquisitors barked at the spluttering wideboy: “What on Earth are you talking about? You’re a 21-year-old kid, not a brand.” Baggs’s CV boasts were exposed as half-truths and we sighed with relief when he was fired. For a moment there, it looked like Sugar was sweet on him.

4) Baggs of testosterone

When a racing car needed filming at Brand’s Hatch for the DVD task, Baggs naturally nominated himself as stunt driver, acknowledging: “I have to rein in my extreme masculinity.” While Baggs squished his jowly features into a helmet, Hewer squinted disapprovingly. Baggs was later seen shouting, “Spoon-feed me, where’s my spoon? Spoony spoony spoon” in the back of a black people carrier.

3) When the chips are down

Lord Sugar’s sidekick Nick Hewer has graduated from lemon-sucking grimaces to a regular dispenser of damning bon mots. The ad task saw him coin a superbly scornful turn of phrase when candidates claimed credit for the Octi-Clean concept. “The mother in the focus group said she wished she had eight hands in the morning,” Hewer noted. “And you were all over it like a tramp on chips.” His best line, however, came in the fashion task, as panicking project manager Liz Locke made team-mate Stella English sit in the boutique window to beckon punters. Hewer observed: “Stella’s in a short dress, waving at people from a window. In Manchester? No. Amsterdam? Maybe.”

2) Tour de farce

During the bus task, property developer Jamie Lester found himself guiding a Ghosts & Ghouls tour round London. Cue “creativity” with facts about the capital: “The Thames is the second biggest river in London. See that building that looks like a gherkin? Well, it’s called the Gherkin because it looks like a gherkin. Westminster Abbey – well, it’s a church. And Big Ben’s clock face is 20 diameters in width.” Cut to a top deck full of blank-faced tourists and a head-shaking Hewer.

1) Use your loaf

During the bakery task, ex-surgeon Shibby Robati took an order for 1,900 breakfast rolls and croissants from a large four-star London hotel and solemnly promised, “We guarantee to fulfil that order.” The next day, he ambled up carrying just 16 rolls and shrugged to the furious head chef: “Tell your guests to go on the Atkins diet.”

- The Apprentice: the Final is on BBC One on Sunday, December 16 at 9.00pm