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Baseball Free …

Did you know it only takes four seconds to put the toilet paper roll on the hanger in the bathroom? I had forgotten that that’s what that little wall bracket thingy is for. Did you know that you can do that every time you start a new roll?

Now, with no baseball to watch, I suddenly have all sorts of time to do the things that I haven’t done for awhile.

Point #1. If you can’t play baseball outside, then maybe you shouldn’t be playing baseball. (Florida and Arizona, you have Spring Training … ALL the teams are there every spring. And, you have the Fall League! Isn’t that enough for you?) And, Houston Astros, if the Texas Rangers can play outside, why can’t you? (And, Toronto, Seattle, Milwaukee? Oh, never mind …)

Point #2. Really, Nationals? A retractable roof is going to put you in the playoffs? Why not spend $300 million on Robinson Cano? Or, two Carlos Beltrans?

Editor/Husband says that $300 million for a retractable roof seems reasonable to him. (This conversation really happened: Me: “Hey, you can have 30 Jim Johnsons for that.” He: “If only he were retractable.” “I don’t know what that means.” “I don’t either.”)

Point #3. The Mayor laughed at the Nats’ request. Laughed. And, someone in his office said the roof would be “butt ugly.” So, uh, I guess that means no roof?

Point #4. Editor/Husband says my stubbornness about indoor baseball is similar to the outcry over lights at baseball parks and the first night games. The first major league night game was in 1935. (He remembers this? Editor/Husband is much older than I thought.)

Don’t hate on Hunter — his quirkies are what makes him loveable! Also, if you are to believe the baseball bloggers (and they are a notorious bunch of maker-uppers), the Orioles are willing to unload their entire pitching staff and a handful of position players so that they can afford Beltran. This will make for an interesting season and Beltran will have a nice big empty clubhouse to lounge around in.

P.S. One of my clients brought me a Schlafly’s beer from St. Louis last month as a means to lobby me to “Go Cards” in the World Series. Now, that’s good fan relations! So the final “Woo” Score: St. Louis – 1 Tasty Beer. Boston: – Nothing.

Pence is great, I am very pleased that he is staying a Giant. I will never forget his postseason dugout speech last year, nor his magic hitting of the ball three times. I don’t think Duane Kuiper would approve of the Cardassian getting engaged at AT&T; I’m sure I remember him making a barbed comment about her once (though whatever it was, I agree with him).

I LOVE Hunter Pence, too. He’s delightfully quirky and yet under all the goofiness, he’s a great player. He’s a great fit for the Giants and they did right to sign him. I love his oddball choices for walk-up music, his ability to joke and laugh at himself, and his great cheerleading during the games.

Love the new barn, but what is that structure way behind it? Perhaps the next rebuilding project for Barn Dude? And speaking of rebuilding, can someone please teach the Cubs how to do it? And speaking of the Cubs, if they ever put a roof over Wrigley Field, I will deny I was born in Chicago.

The only indoor baseball I’ve been in is at the Metrodome in Minneapolis. It always seemed a little too warm and damp. And, it smelled like the indoor pools at cheap hotels with a little bit of high school gym locker mixed in. The lighting was dim, dismal, and depressing. I’ll take my chances with a rainout any day over indoor baseball!