LOVE WARRIOR NOW AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK!

LOVE WARRIOR NOW AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK!

Get G in Your Inbox!

GLENNON
DOYLE

Introducing you to my new book LOVE WARRIOR today. I am scared. Please don’t miss this.

February 17, 2016

I need you today.

Thirteen and a half years ago, I found myself on a cold bathroom floor–shaking from a ten-year hangover–staring at a pregnancy test like it was an eviction notice from my life. It was the end. It was the beginning. I got sober. I created a family I could love and a self I could live with. I stayed sober by crushing shame daily through living out loud with you.

Three and a half years ago, I found myself in a therapy session with my husband, watching his mouth say terrible things about infidelity—things that would destroy my ideas about marriage, myself and God, and send me to my second rock bottom. After that therapy session, Craig packed while I laid with my children in bed until they fell asleep. Then I locked myself in the bathroom again, staring at my shocked, shaking hands once more. How would I survive this?

This wasn’t a story I could live out loud because it belonged to my whole family. My sobriety strategy wouldn’t work this time. I resolved to tell enough to be honest, but keep private enough to be kind. I did what women do: I gritted my teeth, smiled, and held it together for my children. I said to the world: Yes. I’m fine. I’m FINE, thank you.

But in one place, I admitted I wasn’t fine. Every morning, before the kids woke up and my exhausting life as a newly single mom began, I’d go into my cloffice, open a secret file on my computer and write it all out. I wrote in the dark—more like a detective than an artist—desperate to see my life in black and white in front of me. I was hoping to find patterns, clues. I was using my own words like a map to try to figure out where to turn next. I wrote like a prayer. I wrote like a howl.

My beloved friend Amy read every word, because I needed one witness to my life. But other than Amy, the file never saw the light of day. I couldn’t even show it to Sister. It’s hard to tell the people closest to you how heavy it all is, isn’t it?

But as I wrote I started to notice something— this writing was healing me. It was leading me through the darkness. And that still small voice inside me started to whisper that maybe this writing wasn’t just for me.

This terrified me.

I thought: Why AM I so afraid to tell this story? There was only one answer: I’m ashamed of what happened to me. I’m ashamed.

And so I looked hard at myself and said: Precious Self: No No NO. Nope. Shame is a lie and if you’re letting it make decisions for you—you’re following the wrong leader. Your leader is TRUTH. Do you believe that the truth will set you and your family and your readers free, or don’t you?

Craig and I began endless talks. We enlisted experts to help us talk to our kids about this and walk us through every possible outcome of making our story public. Then we decided:

This story is for the world. Let’s use all this pain for good and share what we’ve learned. Let’s do it. Let’s offer it up.

But it’s one thing to decide and another thing to actually follow through. One day, long after I first opened that file and started bleeding into it, I realized I was done. I let the file sit there for a while. I knew I needed to reach out to some fearless writers—women I love and admire, artists who share their lives and their hearts with the world. First I sent my pages to our Liz Gilbert, who I respect madly. She read it and wrote me back:

This is epic, Glennon.

Thank you, I wrote, relieved and grateful. But I’m afraid to publish it. It’s going to freak people out. It’s going to make some people angry.

Liz wrote this back to me — but I believe it’s to you, too:

My brave Glennon, if you sense a storm gathering, don’t fear it — because you ARE it. You are the force of nature here. You are the storm that’s going to sweep through people’s neighborhoods and knock over a bunch of lies and myths and imprisoning structures built out of centuries of women’s silence. Everyone else will just react, but you’re the one who created the powerful thing that people will be reacting TO. Don’t forget this, I beg you. They (the reactors, the critics, the observers) don’t have the power. You have all the power here now, because you claimed your power and you spoke it. So don’t trick yourself into thinking that you are weak or small, or that you can be victimized by anyone. There will be a part of you that says, “But I’m still just the old Glennon — afraid and tiny and overwhelmed”, but that’s not who you are anymore. That’s an old version of you. You might not even quite realize yet how much of that you have left behind — but I can see by this writing what you have left behind, and what you have become.

I began to feel braver. I sent the file to Sarah Bessey, who I trust with my entire heart.

I wrote: My Sarah. You know how hard it will be to publish something like this. I just have to know if it’s beautiful enough to make the brutal worth it.

Two days later Sarah wrote me a letter that included this:

So here is what I think: yes, it’s dark and painful and raw. So the light and the beauty and the love is even more dazzling and beautiful. It’s your best work yet. I feel like God has anointed you, called you, to this work. It will be a hard road to send it out there and many will misunderstand or minimize or explain it away but the pain will be worth it because this writing is a giant battle cry of surrender.

As I read this – I felt like I have was standing on holy ground, Glennon. I don’t say that lightly. It’s a hard read, really hard. I cried and I felt split open by your pain and your suffering, by Craig and his suffering. I felt like I was right there with you in it and I remembered so powerfully my own loneliness and suffering, my own grief and renewal. It reminded me of a scene in the book of Acts when Peter and John are testifying to a court that wants to kill them and they say, “we cannot but speak of what we have seen and what we have heard.” This book is testimony – it’s what you have seen and heard. How can we not speak of it? How could we not testify to the belovedness and the healing and the pain all married together? I encountered God here, G, not in spite of the darkness, but because of it.

I love you, I do. Carry on, warrior.

Love Warrior has been Sistered into the world, as have I.

So here we are. And my sisters and brothers, this is what I want you to know—

Love Warrior is the offering I’ve been working on in the dark every day for the past three and a half years. Love Warrior is about infidelity — to ourselves and to each other. It’s about betrayal and redemption. It’s about how everything the world teaches us about femininity and masculinity can make it impossible for a woman and a man to actually know and love each other. It’s about how to survive rock bottom—how to use crisis as a springboard to a truer identity and a better life. It’s about parenting our kids through pain. It’s about friendship that hurts and friendship that heals. It’s about faith that shackles women and faith that liberates women. It’s about shameless sex and God and food and drugs and porn and tenderness—and how the dirt and the divine are so often inseparable. Love Warrior is about how to finally find peace in your own damn skin and your own damn life.

Love Warrior is raw and it’s shocking but it’s also beautiful. You will lose and find yourself in it. I did. It’s everything I know about love and resilience and womanhood and freedom and truth and power and peace. It’s the very best I’ve got. I assume that every writer has one book that makes her a writer. This is mine. Besides my sobriety, my three babies, my gritty, divine marriage, and Together Rising, I’ve never been prouder of anything in my life than I am of Love Warrior.

Now, about the COVER and about A SPECIAL GIFT CREATED JUST FOR YOU.

I wanted a symbol for our Love Warrior: A symbol to remind us to enter the fire of our lives and transform it into fuel to light the world. A symbol that would remind us that the pattern of life is: First the pain, then the rising. A symbol we could claim and love as ours and that I could tattoo on my own skin as a mark of my brutiful journey. So I called one of my oldest and dearest friends, Joanna – the Joanna who helped me through college and helped me start this blog—and I said: I need you. I don’t want some corporation to create my Love Warrior. You know me. You know my marriage, and you know Momastery. Can you create her?

A week later Joanna sent me this. And my chest filled with fire and love and hope and recognition.

I told my publisher that I wanted Joanna to create the cover of our book. Not a big New York art firm. I said: We Sister each other. That’s what we do. Only Joanna.

Joanna designed a cover for my book that literally made me, and the folks in the New York publishing office, cry.

It’s bold. It’s beat up. It’s soft and textured and fierce. It’s imperfect and REAL. Human. Like me. Like my marriage. Like you. I love this cover like I love us.

Love Warrior will be born on September 6th. Today is like that day, thirteen and a half years ago, when I announced to my family that I was pregnant with Chase. I believe that when Love Warrior arrives into the world, my life will start again—it will be another new beginning. But for now, I am preparing for the birth. I know it will be a painful and beautiful one. I’m scared. I need my family by my side. I need you with me.

You are always asking me what you can do. Today I have a response.

Those of you who have been doing life with me for a while know that the Momastery community is the great honor of my life. I love you. I asked my publisher what I could do for YOU– what we could make that is extra special, and offer here, to you first. So this is it. We have made an extremely limited special edition first printing of Love Warrior for you.

There is something inside of this special edition that will never be created again.

Joanna created a one-of-a-kind piece of art with our Love Warrior. I wrote a poem to go with the art. To me, this poem and this symbol are the secrets to a life on fire. They remind me to spend my time down here ALIVE instead of just living.

I am going to personally sign each and every one of these special art pages and they will be bound into your first-edition book. I am going to sit and say a prayer of hope and love and gratitude every time I put my signature on one of these gorgeous pieces of art. Then this beautiful gift will be shipped to your door the week of publication (September 6). And because I feel so strongly about supporting independent bricks-and-mortar bookstores, any orders placed through Momastery will be fulfilled by beloved independent bookstores around the country.

Order five copies for Christmas gifts (when the holidays come, it will be too late—these will be gone, and we are not printing more.)

Order 10 for bridal shower gifts (When the head of my publishing house read the book, he wrote my editor this email: Every person on Earth should read this book before marrying. This should be the handbook for relationships).

Order one for your husband and your therapist and your adult children and your church and your library and your book club and your recovery group and a hospital waiting room.

Keep several on hand for friends who receive or deliver the News.

Order one for your friend who was brave enough to stay. Order one for your friend who was brave enough to leave.

I need you to know that if you pre-order this book today, it will mean so much to me. Your love and support matter to me — and matter to our team. Your pre-order of Love Warrior is a vote that says to us and to the publishing world: Yes. We support your work in the world and we want it to continue.

And after you’ve ordered, please consider tweeting one of these messages:

I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this symbol! I think it would be the most amazing tattoo…ever! “First the pain, then the rising” How awesome is that?? AWESOME!!!! I’m gonna do it! And I can’t wait to read your book! How will I ever decide how many to order? I LOVE giving gifts! It’s one of my love languages, and I stay broke because of it! But it’s a good kind of broke because I receive so much joy from giving to others! Hurry up August! God bless you and all your brutiful writing! It is amazing and it is healing! Sistering on sister, Alicia

Ordered. Waiting. Grateful for my good marriage but worried that I’m not honest with him. I often deny myself and my feelings – go along to get along. I’m afraid of what would happen if I told him my true feelings.

I preordered the book. But… I need it now. Like today. My husband and I started with a new counselor, and in the one-at-a-time interview with just me, the counselor told me I sounded like someone who was ready to leave and asked if I really had the hope and imagination to try to fix this. I need your story, I need to know what it’s like to bring a marriage back to life, to see if I can do it. Please?

I’ve read every single comment. I DO feel alone. I’m the one who was (emotionally) unfaithful…the woman. So my shame is different. How do you reconcile feeling trapped even when the other person is willing to do the work? Not a bad guy – just doesn’t seem the right guy for me. The feeling is just gone and has been for years. I don’t mean the mushy-gushy…I mean no connection. I mean how do you “get back” years of just going through the motions? That is not life to me. Do I just suck it up? Fake it and hope it works out? I’m in pain: my own and terrified to cause it at the same time. I will read this book the second it comes out.

JK
You are not alone. I feel the same exact way. Just trying to figure out what to do and going back and forth between whether to leave or whether to stay. I don’t think you can “get back the years of just going through the motions,” but you can move forward. It seems to me the key is accepting the situation for what it is and not what we wish it to be and then deciding if there is something there to build on. Yet, that is where I am stuck. My husband does not share my “core truths” nor does he respect them. There are a lot of things that are less important that I could live with, but living with someone whose values are so fundamentally different than mine…. I am not sure that is possible, especially when the things they do make you compromise those values. I hope we both find some answers in Glennon’s book. I can’t wait until August. Stay strong and warrior on.

T – thank you for this. We really are stuck in the same place. It is so difficult to feel like the “horrible person” because he is a “nice guy” and “treats you well.” But he doesn’t GET ME. I don’t enjoy his company as a deep friendship. I feel like our marriage was based on a checklist of rules…but maybe that is a lie and my memory is playing tricks on me. We operate on different emotional, intellectual and physical levels. And being a Christian only adds to the stress of “love is a choice.” I wish this book was coming sooner than August. You warrior on, too.

Read the book Not Just Friends and see if you recognize yourself at all. Many times people in emotional affairs (physical too) tell themselves some things that might not be true. But they might be true! Be honest with your husband. He deserves it. You made vows to him. This will be hard. But you can do it and be an honest, good person, even if your marriage ends.

Jenny, thank you so much for this recommendation. I actually just got the news two weeks ago and am so lost and in a sea of pain, unfortunately like so many of our Sisters are or have been. I also could really use something right now and this book looks like at least a start.

G, thank you with all of my (broken) heart for writing your and Craig’s story. It is needed desperately, as you have seen by all of the comments here. You inspire me so much to keep going, one day at a time.

Glennon, i just ordered three copies, one for myself, one for my mom and one for my sister. I am so proud of you for doing this. Your ability to allow yourself, your marriage and your family grow from that rock bottom place is so incredible and beautiful, and I believe that your book will inspire great hope for so many people. Thank you for sharing the story. Love, Erin

Glennon, your warriors in BC are cheering you on with hugs, tears, and fears. Two of my besties and I go to a cabin every August with our brood of kids. It is where we read Carry on Warrior- we laughed, shared, cried and sat in each others pain while relating to your words. Knowing the release date is the 30th- I am putting it out into the universe that we would all be so grateful to win the early book lottery that you should have! Hint hint. Fingers crossed- if not, it is already my pick for book club when it rolls around.

Glennon thank you for writing on this topic and sharing your story. I can’t wait to read it! I’m so appreciative you’re giving the world perspective on what The News feels like. So brave. You are a saving grace!

I got the news 6 and a half years ago when I announced that I was (surprise!) pregnant. I asked him to leave last December when I finally realized that no one – not me, not our two boys, none of the therapists we’ve seen – would make him stop cheating. But even though my journey was different from yours, G, I cannot wait to read your story because just hearing from someone else who has been there makes all the difference in the world. Thank you for your endless bravery, your humor, and your ginormous heart. Carry on!

So Glennon,
I so want to pre-order to love and to support. But I fear that there’s the chance of voyeurism and never never would I want to do that or be tempted to. Your spirit gives me strength and your honesty humbles me. If you are ok having me read it, I will trust and honor that wish. Why does this scare me? You are so brave. I try to be. Most of the time.

A day of firsts for me. First time to pre-order a book. First book about the Big Awful to be purchased. First time to comment on anything. First time to go back to that place. I feel like I’m about to pick at a 14 yr old scab. Glennon, you are the first person to make me want to. I’m thinking that after reading it, it will be the first time I feel whole again. Banged up, but all the pieces will be there.

Small tears welling up… thankfulness that you are brave, because that helps the rest of us be brave with our stories… maybe slightly different subject, but just as painful to walk through. Thank you, thank you, thank you… I’ll be praying that the lies that tell you dark things don’t seep though, and everyone rallies around you to hold this precious story up as a light too all that “we can do hard things” …as an example of brave living. Carry on Warrior! Blessings… and love… and tears…

Done! Pre-ordered. I commend your bravery Glennon, I too have a calling and am currently working, and listening, to determine what exactly it is suppose to look like. I understand your fear and look forward to seeing you in April in Little Rock!

I have pre-ordered my special signed copy. I can’t wait! What are the chances of a premature delivery of this “baby” or at least a preview of the first few chapters for those that pre-order in the form of a pdf or the like? August is so far away! The wait is not good for us warriors you have following you who tend to have those anxious characteristics!

I have to admit I feel like a school girl that just received a response from a boy band club she wrote to! I actually took a screen shot of our “conversation’ and saved it as “note from my BFF”…I can call you that now since we actually talked once right!

Thank you so much for writing this. It is too tempting for to bury the pain of infidelity for the sake of normalcy. This will help keep me honest.

My husband told me about his cheating about 2 years ago and I was initially quite numb. It was hard for me to truly process because whenever I am usually presented with something stressful and/or painful I am quick to forgive (more like try to forget) and rationalize the transgression. This time I knew I needed to actually confront the issue – not only for my sake, but for the sake of being able to look my own daughter in the face and not feel like a fraud. I know she will one day come to me with questions about being compassionate and strong and about her self worth (among many others). I do not want to be a hypocrite and hide my shame and weakness while trying to teach her about her self worth.

Fortunately, we have a wonderful group of friends through our church (more like family actually) who we share our lives with. The good and the bad are brought into the light and we did not hesitate to share the entire story with them. We did not hide and were able to be honest. I am truly grateful for that space. I am thankful that I was able to see God at work so much during this rough time. I experienced His redemptive power. I chose to truly forgive (not just forget) my husband and stay with him.

It was relatively easy to deal with the initial shock and processing compared to being removed from the situation by 2 years. In reminding myself that my husband is worthy of love and forgiveness, I find myself conveniently forgetting the pain he caused. I know that I don’t want to have a grudge against him since I forgave him, but I feel that it is important to remember that he is human. I do not want to slip into denial for the sake of a shiny happy superficial marriage. But that is hard to do on a day to day basis. Just because we worked things out (albeit not completely) that does not mean that it is just a chapter of a book we can shut – never to be revisited again. That is what I truly struggle with. I don’t want to build him up to an impossibly high standard again after being brutally confronted with the reality. We are human and we all fall short.

I am glad to say that our story has been bruitiful. I am thankful to all the people who have commented so far about their struggles with infidelity – whether they stayed or they left. It is so powerful to see others share their stories. It is so powerful to know we are not alone with our struggles. I look forward to this book to remind me that we are not alone and to remember the truth and not hide from it. I hope that I can wait till August for my pre-order! After reading this post over, I see how long it is. I realize that I never put words to this experience and this safe place has given me an opportunity to do so. What a blessing!

Glennon…three years ago I did the EXACT same thing when my husband left me–I wrote every single day. I had one good friend read it as I wrote it, so I would be heard and validated. Then I eventually added another friend. Then I added my shrink. Three people total have read it. And I, too, was told it felt like they were trodding upon holy ground. It was painful and horrible and healing and wonderful. And raw and gritty and beautiful and awful. And at times it felt more like it was writing me than I writing it…

I’ve often thought of publishing it, but I worry about the pain it will cause people, especially my children. I recently reread the first month of the 14 months I wrote, and I was astounded at what we all went through and that we were still standing. It took my breath away. This is not to tout my writing, it’s to say I can’t believe *I* went through that, that my children went through that, that those who cared about me watched me go through that…and for the life of me I don’t know how we didn’t break. I mean, we DID break, for sure…but I’m not sure how we ever got put back together. We are changed. Scarred. Scared. But standing.

I applaud you and can’t wait to read your story. Maybe someday I’ll share mine. Maybe I’ll share it with you. If you have any advice I’d love to hear it.

Dear Glennon,
I am so grateful for your vulnerability, your courage, and your willingness to take us into those dark places. Thank you so much for sharing your story; I look forward to witnessing this part of your journey, knowing that every dark place in the human experience is a part of our shared journey. And thank you for this particular post on this particular day — when I am going into my own cloffice to write in the dark about my own journey. What a beautiful gift of affirmation this is, what a beautiful gift of affirmation you are!
love, love, love,
Amy

I ordered a signed copy because all great works of art are signed by the artist!
Glennon, thanks for having the courage to tell your story….I am trying to witness my own and daily you inspire me to continue. My self-love mantra this year is “I promise to hold myself in my heart with love and forgiveness and compassion.” I am holding you in my heart too <3

G-
Your story is safe with me… not because there won’t be criticism, but because we will love you through it. I’m ordering several copies, for me and my warrior-mamas. You’re brave and you’re bad-ass… and your transparency is giving us permission to shine a light on those cockroaches of shame that hide in the darkness of our secrets. Thank you for offering your real self to us, all over again.
Carry on, warrior.
Jakky

I could cry. Thank you for sharing your story with everyone. While I’m only 21 and not married, I have no idea the pain you and so many other women are feeling, but how wonderful it is when hard times transition from what happened to you to a part of your story. I just preordered your book and I’m so ready to read it. I lost my mom six months ago to alcoholism and your words have helped to carry me through. These are strong words and I totally mean them: Carry On Warrior allowed me to forgive my mom before it was too late. Thank you, thank you and thank you again.

I think many of us have written similar stories in the dark about betrayal, but few have the courage to share. There is shame around betrayal, in staying, in leaving, in just knowing it happened. And I know shame cannot survive being spoken as Dear Brene Brown tells us. I am beyond hopeful in knowing that you are sharing you again with us. Thank you for being brave, beautiful you.

This book already speaks to me. Thank you for your vulnerability and putting your story out there. I am over three years from the news that shook my world and have never spoken of it to anyone other than a therapist. Not my friends, not my family. I fought through this pain on my own. My husband and I have come a long way to put back together a relationship that was so horribly broken and to rebuild a trust that was shattered but there are still struggles. I am sure it will be painful to read your story but I need to know that someone else has been there. Thank you.

Wow Glennon, already feel I can relate so much to your story! I too had a husband be unfaithful to me in many ways through our short marriage, I am now in the process of finalizing our divorce. Thank you for sharing your words and story…that raw pain will bless many! I did a similar thing only I didn’t have a file but many, many journals….they have kept me sane and healed me. And reminded me I can thrive not just survive.

I ordered your book, and I will admit I am both excited and terrified to read it. Thirteen years ago, I was in the middle of my own divorce, my husband was unfaithful and left me with three small children to raise alone. It has taken me 13 years and the atonement of Jesus Christ to get to the point I am at today, where I am trying to forgive him, like REALLY actively honestly trying to forgive. As I read your post above about this book and all that you went through, I felt so strongly that this will be absolutely instrumental in my forgiveness process, I was compelled to order it today. Thank you for writing it, and thank you for being so brave to help the rest of us be brave too. You have changed my life this past year, and I am excited that you are continuing to change my life. I can’t wait to read this book. The cover art is breathtakingly beautiful and powerful. Thank you thank you thank you!

This sounds incredible, thank you for sharing your story. I would love to order 2 of the special edition copies but it looks like the cost of postage to the UK for this is $50 – is that right? Many thanks x

I pre-ordered this book and I am scared. I don’t think I can wait until August 30th, but if it was to come tomorrow i probably would wait 6 months to read it anyway. I got the news from my husband almost one year ago, but I have also been dealing with his drug addiction for the last 5 years and this was the last straw for me. Sometimes Im ashamed i couldn’t stay and keep trying like you did, but i also have been trying for 5 years. It was him that wasn’t trying. I had to remove my two children from this situation too. I have a knot in my throat writing this….. I know it will be everything I imagine it to be and Thank you for writing this. Carry On! Love you!

I also left, but each situation is different and we as women must support each other no matter the decision. As Glennon said: Order one for your friend who was brave enough to stay. Order one for your friend who was brave enough to leave.

I second guess sometimes too, but we needed to get our children to a safer and better place. Positive thoughts for you!

I’m scared to read it too. I got the News a long time ago, when I had triplets who were infants and a life fracturing before my eyes. It has been so long, and I am so healed, that I know I have to read it and feel it. Or do I? Do I need to feel the hurt again? Maybe we need a group to Sister through it together?

G,
The entire time I was reading this post all I could think of was…
“Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created” Esther 4:14
Thank you for being brave and sharing your heart. Thank you for doing the hard work to uncover your life’s call and having the courage to answer it.

Reading this put me back in bed where I’m writing this comment. I want to read it but I’m scared. I’m reeeeeally good at hiding. I can’t open that part of me again. I don’t think I will survive it. It took a couple of years for me to realize my reaction to the news was in a way worse than the news. I had the power in me to respond in a loving forgiving way and I blew it. For years. Luckily we have since forgiven each other mostly by pretending nothing ever happened and are mostly ridiculously happy. So going back into the darkness terrifies me. Because the pain has not lessened (as my tears here under the covers attests). I just buried it.

Yay!! I’m so excited to share your story with you. I have pre-ordered on Amazon. I would have loved to have one of the special editions but the international shipping was so much!! Please come to England and sign my copy in person! Love you Glennon, and thank you.

Glendon –
I am pre-ordering. I want to support your bravery, your courage and your vulnerability, because I KNOW this is scary. That being said, I’m not sure I can read the book. Just reading your blog takes me back to my own bathroom floor experience because of my marriage. Just the little bits and pieces you’ve shared, I think our stories are similar. Which is why I want to show support. Which is why I KNOW how brave you are but also how SCARY this is. I am so PROUD OF YOU for telling your story! Carry on WARRIOR CARRY ON!!!! ps. I’m not sure I will be able to read it. I gulped and hurt just reading your blog! It hits too close to home. 🙂

Curiosity piqued…
You may be petite, but your voice is so big. I can’t wait to read your next book. Thank you for your vulnerability.
It is so hard to open up to the world. We all fear criticism. You will get criticism for this book. Don’t let it
weigh you down. Listen to the people who support your blossoming. Thank you Glennon.

Thank You! I pre-ordered. I come from a family full of broken relationships. I can’t wait to read this and grow, and learn, and break the pattern I grew up knowing. And I can’t wait to share it with my mom and step-dad. Who after 17 years of marriage have faced so so many struggles. Tragedy, unfaithfulness, loss, pain, and shame. And with my sister. Who parents four sweet boys and fights through the pain of sharing them with their three different dads and her own insecurities. Together with them, we will find healing. Thank you.

I ordered my copy the instant your letter landed in my inbox! I am not quick to write a comment, as in never, but I have been wanting to say thank you. Thank you for being at Mars Hill and thank you for the hug on Sunday morning. I was so glad to get to say “thank you” to you personally and I was amazed at how you threw your arms open to me. You felt like friendship and honesty and love all rolled up into one. Thank you for being who you are. Love to you.

I’m so excited! Just ordered my copy and August 30th is my birthday so it will be an amazing birthday gift to myself! Love your heart G and am so glad to have found you and your words and heart in the world.

Dear Glennon, I love you and you preach the Good News to me. I tried to order the book but shipping to Canada is $20US. With the exchange rate now, that makes the book $60 CAN. I totally think it’s worth it, but can’t afford that right now. So – please tell your publisher that there is one in-the-heart pre-order, but I will have to wait until I can get it in the bookstore. I will miss the extra-special goody inside, but it’s the waiting for the book itself will be the hardest. Thank you for writing everything you do.

I agree! I wanted to order two copies but the shipping is so expensive to Canada. Glennon, is there any chance we can get the special editions in Canada at a better shipping cost? You have many warriors up north! 😉

It’s hard, hard work to stay. We’re six years from D Day now, and it still feels like each day can be a battle to stick with it even through the hard. We get glimpses of what we’re rebuilding and it’s good. But the glimpses are far between sometimes.

Tim Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage was so helpful for me as we walked through that time, and even now some days when I need a pep talk.

Here’s an excerpt.
“Have you ever traveled to a mountainous part of the world when it was cloudy and rainy? You look out your windows and you can see almost nothing but the ground. Then the rain stops and the clouds part and you catch your breath because there, towering right over you, is this magnificent peak. But a couple of hours later the clouds roll in and it has vanished, and you don’t see it again for a good while. That is what it is like to get to know a Christian. You have an old self and a new self (Ephesians 4:24). The old self is crippled with anxieties, the need to prove yourself, bad habits you can’t break, and many besetting sins and en-trenched character flaws. The new self is still you, but you liberated from all your sins and flaws. This new self is always a work in progress, and sometimes the clouds of the old self make it almost completely invisible. But sometimes the clouds really part, and you see the wisdom, courage, and love of which you are capable. It is a glimpse of where you are going. Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!’” Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel. Each spouse then should give him-or herself to be a vehicle for that work and envision the day that you will stand together before God, seeing each other presented in spotless beauty and glory.”

I think it’s good to know why we stayed. Outside looking in, it’s easy for someone to say it’s because we’re codependent or too afraid to leave. On the contrary, it takes being very very brave to stay and to look at yourself too.

Cindy Beall’s book says “I believe I’m not a fool to stay and be part of the redemption of a man.”

It took a long time to not feel like a fool for missing the infidelity. But reading that was crystal clear for me. I’m not a fool to stay and do the work because he’s willing to do the work too.

Oh God – I’m new to your work, just drawn to it from FB posts. I love what you write, but your marriage seemed so perfect and loving and awesome, and I’m still rebuilding myself after my husband had an affair with a coworker, and it just seemed like despite your claims of vulnerability you always had someone in your corner, and you never knew that deep pain. I need to stop deciding that other people’s lives are perfect, how unfair! My husband’s affair ended just under four years ago now, but they worked together, and it was so messy, it took another couple of years for them to stop interacting, and it was just awful. He changed jobs but was still a block away. Today is his first day at a completely new job in a different city. It feels like a chapter closing in a way, but it also brings up so many complex emotions. We are working. He is doing the work now- but it took a long, long time. We both were doing our best but we needed help and our best wasn’t good enough. Thank goodness for marriage counseling. My struggle and pain have been private – it took me two years to tell my mother. It is the hardest, hardest thing. I am going to read your book. And I thank you for putting this out here – I understand how terrifying it must be – and thank you if you read this, I’m in tears writing about it. Thank you.

I wanted/didn’t want to tell her for so long. I had to have some emotional distance, it couldn’t be so raw. I told her when it was just the two of us on an overnight trip together, and it was such a relief. She doesn’t hate my husband. She had adored him before and he could do no wrong, and that actually was one of the things that was so hard for me! Now the shine is off, she knows he can really do wrong, but she still loves him and knows he is working with me. But she’s on my side. And he doesn’t know that she knows – he adores her, too, and I’m worried that his shame would wreck their relationship.
Here’s another thing – she’d been through something similar with my father. It makes me so sad to know that, and I can’t tell you how much I don’t want this for my daughter. I don’t know what to do to help protect her, but I think it means that when she is an adult I will tell her my/our story.

I too have not shared this with my family. While I am glad that I was able to be honest with our close group of friends and church family, I have not been able to bring myself to tell my own family or share with my husband’s family. I know this has to do with shame on my part – I never try to portray our marriage as perfect but I don’t want to disappoint my family. My mother’s marriage ended in divorce. My family are happy that there is a lasting relationship. If I share with them, then they may hate him, pity me and think me a fool for staying with him after infidelity.

Jenny, your post makes my heart ache. I remember those days and weeks and months after my husband’s affair and the rawness, the anger, the shame. I don’t think any couple can survive infidelity without help. I am not giving you advice, but I hope you know that you can trust your instincts. You are not alone in this, you will never be alone in this.

Thank you, Sarah! That helps. I do have a wonderful counselor, she is why we are still married. She has encouraged me to tell my story to friends, that I can own it. She has encouraged us as a couple to be honest with people we trust. But my husband hasn’t told a soul besides one brother, who was kind of awful about the whole thing. His affair partner never told her husband, now she is pregnant with their second child (both after the affair). It is very hard to know that she really never had consequences, and it took a long time for her to admit to herself how awful it was…but I know she is remorseful, and my silence protects her children, who are as innocent as mine.

I’m sooo gonna be late for work because I can’t stop trolling for more comments and love and excitement. Went online over an hour ago (for something very unrelated mind you) and caught the email about pre-ordering a NEW BABY BOOK HOLY SHIT!!! And now, I need to write my own comment saying Sisters, (all of us, Glennon) let’s climb into bed with a box of cereal and the remote, and snuggle down until August. !!!!

I am sitting at my desk crying. It has been almost 3 years since I received the News from my husband of 21 years. A little over a year since my divorce has been final. My daughters and I are healing and finding our new normal. “you can do hard things” and “carry on warrior” are part of my daily self talk. I am getting stronger and a new me is emerging. It is slow work but it is happening. The only way through is straight through. There are no shortcuts.
However, do I wish my nuclear family was still together? Do I wish my husband hadn’t cheated for reasons that he could never explain? Absolutely!
What I have struggled the most with was my inability to keep my family together. I value family above all. I realize after reading your words that I am ashamed. Ashamed I could not save myself, my family or spare my children from this path. After all a mother protects her children! I have not been able to give this underlying feeling a name until now. It is heartbreaking.
I have ordered a signed book. Thank you for offering such an amazing gift!

You are alone Kris… I stayed. It has been almost 6 years and for a long time of those days/weeks/months, I was ashamed that I stayed. I had to forgive myself for staying. How weird is that? I had to forgive my husband for being unfaithful and forgive myself for staying when I always swore I wouldn’t. Lots of therapy, prayers and grace later, I’ve started to forgive myself for staying. You can forgive yourself for doing what you had to do for yourself and your children. You can do it. We can work on it together. Day by Day, Week by Week. Sister On Warrior!!! We got this!

Michelle,
I totally understand needing to forgive yourself from staying, I’d never thought of it like that but that’s exactly what needs to happen. I always see women who left their husbands as being ‘strong’, and really admire them (and of course they are strong and to be admired!)…but I feel sort of ashamed, part of why I don’t tell people is that I feel like I have to explain it. But we can forgive ourselves. Thank you for your insight!

Kris, your comment totally resonated with me. I am two years into a divorce process that came on the heels of infidelity and betrayal. I know that I am brave because I left but that doesn’t mean that I am not devastated that what I thought would be my future now isn’t. I pre-ordered the book instantly but like others, I think it will take me six months to convince myself to read it. I wish the situation had ended differently. I wish we could co-parent gracefully. I wish we could be those model exes everyone points to. I have had to come to terms with the stark reality that I am only a part of this whole – even in divorce – and I can only control some of the outcome. Doing the best I can with what I have is all I can do.

Glennon, I am scared to read this book. I’m afraid it will be too much like the Big Bad Awful, that tore everything apart, including my soul. I’m scared because 6 years later I’ve put my life back together, my child’s, and we are HAPPY and HEALTHY and HOW could I relive all that, even with you? If I can’t find the right pen to write my own story, how can I bear to read even yours? I want to, but I am scared to venture back to that place.

Dear Glennon-
I have only known you to this point through Momastery, and I can’t wait to know you better through Love Warrior, especially since I share your story. I know that in reading your pain I will re-experience my own pain, and I also believe that sharing it in this way will strengthen me. God bless you.

Glennon, I was standing in the grocery store this morning reminiscing with a friend about you & WomanKind in Richmond last year. We both wished you were returning! We both wished for you to share another book with us. By the time, I hit Aisle 10, I saw your book announcement in my email!! What else should I wish for today? Blessings, sister!

What an honor to order your beautiful book (I giddily ordered one of the limited special editions!). G, my heart is split open just reading your description of your baby. I am anticipating come serious catharsis at the end of August. You give us all permission to be brave and fierce.

G, I love you, but I’m afraid of this book! I know you’re promoting it, and I’m supposed to write a wonderful comment about how great it’s going to be. But I want to know if it’s safe for me, and women like me, to read. I found you when you discovered your husband’s infidelity at the same time I discovered my husband’s infidelity after 22 years of marriage. I’ve watched you build a new relationship, while mine fell apart. You had the gift of a partner who was willing to do the work, while I had a person living with me who wanted to continue destroying, lying, blaming, and searching for other partners while I did the work on my own. Sometimes when people see stories like yours, people like me are often judged for “choosing” divorce, as if we just didn’t try hard enough. Is there anything in your story for those of us who had to take a different path? Or will it separate me further from the wonderful group of women who look to you for inspiration? I wish you the best, whether this book is something I can read, or not! You’ve given me many moments of strength during a difficult time.

I have the same exact question/worry/fear as Stacy and Lacey. I did backflips and contorted myself into unrecognizable shapes to make my marriage work. But nothing worked, because I was the only one fighting and working and trying with truth and love and respect. I’m devastated. I’m a love warrior, but I didn’t choose to leave, and I didn’t have the option to stay.

Stacy,
I just read your comment and wanted to tell you that you have my support.
I know you don’t know me but I read your pain and concern about being judged and
I just wanted to tell you that I believe those of us at Momastery want what it best for
the heart and soul of each other. It sounds to me that you chose what was right for you and your family.
I don’t know how the book will make you feel but I want you to know that you have my love and support and I believe that goes for many others here too.

I almost didn’t comment, but now I’m glad I did. AC, I love that you said you’re a love warrior too. My hope is that there is some space in Glennon’s book that acknowledges that not everyone can love themselves and their children best by staying in a marriage that continues to be harmful. You can try and fail, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t fight the good fight! I hope you and I and Lacey, and everyone else who might be in the same boat will continue to warrior on, and find the strength to hear other people’s stories without it being so painful.

Just the BLOG POST made me cry. How am I ever going to make it through the book?!?

It is amazingly brave of you to tell your family’s story. Without even knowing yet what is contained within those pages, I know the book will speak to people’s hearts; I know it will be the hope and validation that someone so desperately needs.

God is in all of our stories. He’s in the details, in every moment–especially the darkest ones. Thank you for sharing your story to show others that light & love will always (eventually, even if it seems to take forever and the pain seems almost unbearable) drive out darkness. Thank you for spreading so much hope in the world.

So many feelings flooded in as I read this news. Your cover tells the story before even opening. Beautifully done! I sit here wanting to hear your story…but in fear of ordering it. In fear of all the storm I have lived and survived for the past two and a half years brewing if I read it. If I ordered it, I think it would stay closed for a long time…because of fear. I felt prompted a week ago to share my story. Not at any scale similar to yours. I would share in anonymity. I fear just reading your book would betray the healing I have had, betray the forgiveness. Betray the one I hated and loved through it all. Thank you for being brave. I hope to be as brave as you. Today I sit here in fear of even feeling the emotions that were so numbing.

Just ordered my copy! I usually read everything on my kindle (use public transport and that’s the only time I can read). But this will be a book to keep (and share). So I ordered the special hard copy. Can’t want to get it.

G,
Book is ordered and the only sad thing is I have to wait until AUGUST! 🙂 I look forward to reading every page. You are a true inspiration, you inspire me to open up, to be present and to not be afraid of MY story. So get that head out from underneath those covers girly and see how much of a blessing this book is going to be, embrace it! You have earned it!!!!

Fabulous cover design… and yes, what a wonderful tattoo that would make too! Wishing you joy, strength & love as you venture into the coming months. Raw, truthful, from a place that has brought you to TODAY and who you are… what’s NOT to embrace? Looking forward to the read! Thanks for sharing YOU with the world. xxoo from New Hope, Minnesota

Holding space today and every day for you and your newest baby. As I read your words already the tenderest of places in my heart opened up, and that is the place for both of you. For all of you! You’ll be releasing a brand new baby into the world, but also maybe a middle school baby, because in general the world can be a lot more like middle school than the safe spaces in hospital rooms and homes when the brand new baby arrives. Dear Glennon you are so brave. You are a shero to so many! Your bravery makes us a little more brave in this middle school world. Sistering with you today!

I just started rereading “Carry On, Warrior” two days ago and kept thinking to myself, “Man, Glennon needs to write another book”…prayer answered!! Can’t wait! BTW, I’d love to be on a launch team if you do one…

Holy crap, I’m so excited for Love Warrior. My heart is so ready to read this that I’m sitting on my couch, tears streaming down my face in gratitude for your words and your courage as my 3 year old twins race around me in super hero capes screaming and having fun. I already know your words, your truth, will continue to transform my life the way your words always do.And when I think about sharing this wisdom with my husband and sons and daughter well I think my heart just might burst. You’re doing it G. You’re making the world a better place. Get ready, sister, for a huge hug from me in Nebraska in March. My soul sisters and I are road tripping to see you. I’ll be the one with the mohawk. Sending love and anxiously awaiting my signed books.

I wondered when you were going to tell us this story, or if you ever would. Thank you for sharing this most personal part of your life and love with us. I ‘ve ordered my special copy and can’t wait to receive it. My first marriage did not survive infidelity but that led me to the marriage I have now, which is 15 years strong. We still have ups and downs, but it’s mostly up. It’s, like you said, GRITTY. And worth it.
You change my life regularly, Glennon, by teaching me new ways to look at life and by reminding me that LOVE WINS. Every time.
So grateful to you and your secret file. Love you!

Never have I wished for a premature birth…except for now! My best friend is walking this path now – and it’s so hard and sad to witness – and I desperately wish I could send this to her TODAY. That’s how much faith I have that this book will be life-changing for her!

I ordered mine! Thank you for writing out of that place of brokenness. Marriage is HARD, imperfect, and brutiful.. But nothing comes closer on earth to our relationship with Christ! I could only afford one copy of the book, but I will be sharing the heck out of it just as soon as I read it for myself!

Wow timely!! I received The News from my husband Nov 1 2013. What a grueling process and journey…yes more brutiful now, after, I/we put in so many hours of counseling of crying of talking of screaming…of telling God and close friends I can’t do this. So much hard stuff before he confessed infidelity. So…I could go on here…but I won’t. Thank you for being brave and courageous….I am ordering this book!! A small step of courage for my husband and I, we are sharing our heavy story tonight with our Community Group. Spent a year debating if we were ready or not. We are as ready as we can be tonight! I so look forward to reading this book and maybe meeting you at one of your events one day. I so appreciate what you do and say–been following Momastery for 2 years now.

Georgia,
Just saw your comment above mine and wanted to send you my love and support for tonight,
You and your husband are so brave and I am sure you will help others with your story.
Carry on Love Warriors!

Georgia,
I received mine on Sept 22nd, 2013. We’re on the same timeline…! We are still together. It is still very, very private. I have trouble with that every day. I wish he would be the one who wanted to talk about it, but I know he carries a lot of shame…and his affair partner is still married, her husband doesn’t know. I figure right now I am protecting her children, they are innocents as much as mine are. It is still hard. I wonder how your sharing went? Love to you. xoxo

As I’ve said before, you always have my support – just pre-ordered 3 special signed copies.
I’m betting that the pre-sales are going to blow the publisher away – we are a strong tribe, we do love flash mobs like a boss, and I have a feeling we’re going to do this pre-order the same way.
Much love to you and Craig.
And I LOVE the cover art – just perfect!

Just read your latest post and had to come here and say, “I knew it!”
So happy for you but also worried about your hand.
(if you just want to sign one of mine and skip the other two, that’s fine)
Deep breaths G. You can do it!
My heart is smiling now and so am I.
🙂

Glennon, I found you in the middle of my own journey/battle with infidelity. Our stories unfolded at about the same time. You literally saved my life. I’ve been desperately waiting for this book. Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.

So if we are single and kid-less… would it still be for us too? Or is it primarily for married parents? Sarah and Liz’s comments wrecked me (as always) but I’m not sure about picking up a “marriage” book… though I’d love to hear more of your story!

I wondered, too, about the marriage thing. Since mine fell apart, I was afraid it might be too painful to read, or even worse, might tempt me to try again to go back and make a failed relationship miraculously work. Now I know how silly that was to worry about. Of course this book is for all of us. YOU WROTE IT.
I’ve been waiting for 3 years or more for this book, Glennon.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
I can hardly wait!!!
<3

Please please please keep writing! Your words are like a light through my own darkness, helping me find a truer identity and a life of my own. You have helped me listen to my own voice inside and recognize that it has something valuable to say. It doesn’t come out on paper as brutifully as yours, but maybe with practice it will. Please keep inspiring others with your thoughts, your actions, your truth telling. It is what the world needs more of! THANK YOU for sharing your gift with the world (and a huge thanks to Craig for being humble enough to put his truth out there with your story as well. That is also courageous and self-less and generous and should be recognized!). And thank you for your work on TOGETHER RISING. You are doing so many valuable things for the world!

A million times THANK YOU for being you and for doing and sharing and loving and writing… I have ordered the special first edition and I can *already* feel its tremendous blessing in my heart. Your work has helped me so much, thank you for the gift of LOVE WARRIOR – I just cannot wait to open it!!! Endless blessings to you, brave warrior Glennon!

Just ordered a signed copy! Yipppeee. I LOVE reading your words every time I can relate truly on so many levels relate, I often post that If we ever met I’m sure we’d become friends. I look forward to reading your book with a hot cup of tea and enjoying a conversation with my friend <3 rock on sister you are amazing. You inspire me to find my own voice and bring it to the surface.

Ordered! G – so honoured to witness your life through this and I’ll be praying today that this community you have built shows up in a big way. Thanks for teaching me to life outside of the shadows of shame and fear. Love you!

Glennon!!!!
I can’t wait to start reading this book by the one who literally saved my life. I don’t know if you read my comment after your last post (because, obviously, you’ve been kinda busy writing a new book), but your words gave me the hope I had lost. Because of you, I carry on!
Love, love, and more love,
Tiffany

Hi, Glannon! I just pre-ordered _Love Warrior_, and I can’t say enough as a man how much MEN also need to grow in vulnerability, woundedness, and brutifulness. We live a culture and time that squashes such courage in men and women alike. I am intensely looking forward to August 30!

Glennon – I’ve been waiting for the next book! U are my hero! U are so brave and I love u – I seriously feel like u are my sister! I met u in austin w my sister and it was like hugging family! U inspire me everyday to own my story (recovering bulimic alcoholic ‘valley girl’). You are so beautiful! Thaaaaaank u for being so brave and vulnerable to inspire us who are trying to be brave but aren’t quite there yet 🙂 xoxoxo. Ordered two books for me and my sister and can hardly wait to read it!

G-I feel honored and humbled to get to pre-order your book. Thank you for sharing you with me, and for opening my heart bigger and bigger. I am so excited to read Love Warrior and let her seep into my bones and open my heart more. Thank you!

Hooray!! It’s finally here! In a small way, I’ve been Sistering this book through production too. Congratulations Glennon — and congratulations to all of us lucky readers who will soon get to sink into the beauty of your writing and the power of your story.