Category: Geeks Rule

Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

(A con is going on nearby, and the fast food joint is full of people in cosplay. A rather attractive woman—dressed as a cheerleader with a pink chainsaw—leaves the building with her friends. They are whistled at by two rowdy customers entering.)

Customer #1: “Hey dude, check out all these freaks in here!”

Customer #2: “Oh, God! They’re everywhere! F****** freaks.”

Customer #1:*to a male cosplayer in front of him* “Oi mate, what the f*** are you supposed to be?”

Male Cosplayer #1: “M-me? I’m ‘Karkat’ from Homestuck.”

Customer #1: “Well, you look like a joke. What the f*** are those on your head?”

(The customer flicks the orange horns clipped to the cosplayer’s hair.)

Male Cosplayer #1: “Please don’t do that; I made these myself and I don’t want them to break.”

Customer #2: “You hear that? The little freak made his own horns! Ah, I guess it’s not all bad though; did you see that chick before with the massive rack?”

Customer #1: “I know, you don’t see hot cheerleaders everyday. She’s totally going to get it off me later.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, we’ll find her and give it to her good. I’m going to squeeze those t*** of her so hard.”

(I’m a girl looking around the movie section of a popular superstore. A male customer happens to be walking next to me through the aisle. I am wearing a Power Rangers/Pokémon crossover t-shirt. Traditionally, the red Power Ranger is the male team leader, while the pink is the ‘girly girl’ or stereotypical ‘chick’.)

Me: “Actually there have been at least two female Red Rangers. The A-Squad team in ‘SPD’ had a female Red, as did the ‘Samurai’ season.”

Customer: “Those seasons didn’t exist!”

Me: “…yes, they did.”

Customer: “How would you know? You’re a girl!”

Me: “Yes, as you’ve been telling me. Would you also like to comment on the ‘Mass Effect’ games I have in the car, or—” *I hold up my right hand* “—or perhaps on my Superman ring, too, since apparently I can’t be a female geek?”

(The customer stares at me for a minute before mumbling an apology, and slinking away.)

(I work at a comic shop that has a high number of female employees, with most of my coworkers having a specialty in knowledge; i.e. comics, figurines, card games, etc. A pair of very obnoxious customers walks in, and heads straight to me at the back of the shop.)

Customer #1: “Hey, I need to know if you have a [specific arc] of X-force?”

Coworker #1: “Do you mean [arc] of the third series, or that old one done by Loeb?”

Me: “I’m not sure, however [coworker #1] organizes our older comic collection and probably knows if we have it or not.”

Customer #1: “Quit trying to give the b**** fake nerd cred, yo. Everyone knows the only girls who work here are a bunch of Yaoi-fangirls.”

(Customer #1 points towards our manga and anime section. Coworker #2 walks over due to all the commotion.)

Coworker #2: “You do realize that [my name] is the only one of us who reads manga? H***, it’s why we hired him in the first place.”

(Both customers look pretty embarrassed, and quietly ask Coworker #1 if we have the comic arc in question. They won’t even look at any of us as they pay for their purchase. After they leave, Coworker #1 comes up to me.)