REVIEW: Not My Sinner by Avril Ashton

_______________________________________________________________Blurb

Tommy has a ring on his finger and a killer in his bed. Only he gets to see the softer side of Mateo Oliveros. Despite who Mateo used to be— and still is — Tommy has never regretted his choice. No one else knows him and loves him like his husband does. And Tommy is happy… Even if there are things about Mateo that he refuses to share with his spouse.

Nothing is easy, definitely not marriage to a man who’s been as broken as Tommy, but Mateo signed up for the long haul. He’ll make sure his T knows he’s loved, no matter how many bodies he has to drop, or how many secrets he has to keep. All those sacrifices will mean nothing, though, when Mateo’s sordid past and Tommy’s fragile future collide. In the wreckage of what used to be their love, they’ll have to decide: Who stays, and who walks away?

Warning: There will be blood. And knives and guns and… but it’s the Sinners, so nothing new there. Also includes heartbreak and heartbreaking sex. This is an Avril Ashton production. Proceed at your own risk.______________________________________________________________________

My Review

4.5 stars!

Not My Sinner is a sequel to Sinner’s Fall, the story of Mateo Oliveros and Tommy Jankowski.

Mateo and Tommy are married now, but their marriage is not as perfect as they want to believe. Something is missing and something is wrong.

“Ma, I’m happy. I have everything I could possibly need.” Not everything, a tiny voice in his head whispered.

Mateo doesn’t give himself over to their marriage completely. He is holding back, and sadly not only one thing but more. He keeps secrets and hides his real self from Tommy. His reasons for that are understandable, and he is convinced that he does the right thing.

Tommy was his life. He’d do anything, whatever he had to in order to protect Tommy. That included making sure his two worlds didn’t ever collide.

Tommy feels that something is not right, but first he thinks it is only the sex. It is confirmed when they meet Mateo’s ex, Dima Zhirkov.

“You been hiding yourself from me,” he said finally.Mateo froze. “What?”“Your needs, you’ve been hiding them from me. I need you,” Tommy whispered. He reached up and nipped Mateo’s chin. “All of you. You’re holding back.”

But that’s not all. When he finds out what Mateo has been hiding from him, Tommy breaks down and leaves him.

“You don’t trust me.” Tommy looked as if he’d been punched. “You don’t trust that I’m stronger than that scared, fucked-up kid you first met. You don’t trust that I can deal with the difficulties of being with you.”
“That’s—” That was the truth, wasn’t it? Teo was scared of what might happen if Tommy had to face the tough side of who he was.

But Mateo is wrong. Tommy is strong enough to deal with Mateo’s dark side. What breaks him is Mateo’s silence and lies. He is unable to deal with that. It is a serious issue, a severe marriage crisis, still, everyone makes mistakes. Tommy has every right to be mad, but not to throw a tantrum. Teo lied to him, yes. It’s maddening, yes. Is divorce the solution? No.

Neither Teo nor Tommy are good relationship material. They have to learn how to live in a relationship, in a marriage, and how to communicate with each other.

I loved them together. Not My Sinner is an amazing addition to Sinner’s Fall, and a great insight to Mateo and Tommy’s life.

There are many-many beautiful and heartbreaking moments in this story. The hate-attack scene was devastating, it broke my heart.

The erotic scenes are loaded with emotion, and insanely hot.

My only complaint is the make-up sex. Though I loved the domineering Tommy, blood-play is not really my thing. I can accept even appreciate it, but NOT when it is done by anger and hurt and revenge.