MODERN MAJOR ACTIVIST
(Sung to Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major General")

Anne is the very model of a Modern Major Activist.
She studies every issue and she gathers every fact of it.
She has a thorough expertise in all things institutional.
She even knows precisely what is meant by Constitutional.

In dealing with the public she's a true encyclopedia.
She understands exactly how to give it to the media.
In short, in all things feminist and humanist and atheist,
She is the very model of a Modern Major Activist.

Respecting human values, she's a tender-hearted atheist,
An "action-over-prayer" and a "reason-over-faith"-eist.
She never wilts from laboring to keep the country secular.
And all her major victories are really quite spec-tec-ular.

Although a gentle woman, she can protest energetically.
She handles all apologists quite unapologetically.
She's not afraid to say a politician is a criminal.
She's practically rewritten every lyric in the hym-i-nal.

A battle-tested feminist, she's plucky and adventury,
And just like Margaret Sanger, she's a "Woman of the Century."
And so, in all things feminist and humanist and atheist,
She is the very model of a Modern Major Activist.