Sunday, November 7, 2010

I went to True Religion to try on their jeans and I am so close to fitting into a Size 23.

I just need to lose... +8 lbs.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do. I can't say that I've figured much of anything out.

BUT. The only thing I can definitively declare is that I am going to reach 95 lbs before I turn 20 years old.

Please, please God, help me accomplish my goal. There are many things that I do not know about this world but I do know that I will not be able to handle entering the 3rd decade of my life with all this fat that is hanging off my body.

I need to be renewed. I NEED to feel pure, light, empty.

For once, even if only for a little while, I need to look in the mirror and believe that I am thin and beautiful.

Perhaps I will not be any happier then. Perhaps I will realize that it was all for naught. Perhaps nothing will change.

But right now, this is all I have. This is my only hope. This is what I've decided to place all my bets on and I'm going to give everything I have to win the jackpot.

Midnight tonight will mark the start of 50 days to my birthday on December 28th.

4 comments:

Girl, I am 100% behind you, rooting for you all the way to 95 lb. YOU CAN DO IT. I have said the EXACT same thing to myself. Getting to my goal weight is something we need to do for US because it's something we can ACCOMPLISH, it shows we are CAPABLE of something. It's certain and we need it. You are so right. Never give up. xox

I haven't given up on mine either. I hope we can get there. I need to know that in this world of blogs, binges, set backs, huge weight losses, that someone somewhere can get to the goal they set themself and be happy at the end. I don't know if you are that person, or if I can be that person, but I think we can try.