Christmas, Both Sides Now

December is here and the hoopla has begun. The push to buy, buy, buy, is in full force. We are bombarded with advertisements on television and radio, flyers in the mail, big spreads in the papers. Christmas music is playing wherever you go. The pressure is on to make this the best Christmas ever, to have the trendiest decorations, to buy the most coveted gifts, to mail the Christmas cards and deliver the presents in timely fashion, to be the belle of the Christmas party circuit, to triumph at the ugliest Christmas sweater contest, to prepare the perfect Christmas dinner, and so on, all the while smiling and greeting our fellow beings with the warmest of holiday wishes in spite of treacherous driving conditions, long lines at the checkouts and the threat of all out war in the parking lot. Is it any wonder everyone is stressed out at Christmas time? And while I’ve told myself that I won’t bow to the pressure, I can feel it building inside me. You just can’t escape it. There’s nowhere to hide. For me the real celebration will occur on Boxing Day when I can heave a sigh of relief and celebrate surviving another Christmas.

This Christmas, of course, will be very different without Gary. And while I’m sure that Jeremy, Amanda and I will have a wonderful day together, there’s bound to be much reminiscing of Christmases gone by. Yet in very many ways, it’ll be a typical Christmas in the Corke household. We’ll open presents and empty our stockings. We’ll watch Christmas movies while nibbling on Christmas goodies and drinking eggnog. We’ll spend hours preparing a big Christmas dinner which will be devoured in much less time. (Jeremy, now the man of the house, will take on the task of making his Dad’s dressing for the turkey.) We will brew and drink endless cups of tea, perhaps fortified with a nip of something stronger. We will bask in the warmth of the fireplace and watch Sophie and Danny destroy the new toys that Santa brought. But most of all, we will delight in each others company and in each others love, because after all is said and done, Christmas is about love. And while Gary may not be with us, his love for us, and ours for him, will always endure. Merry Christmas my love, wherever you are.