Fighting Parkinson’s, and remembering my Mom on her birthday

Today would have been my Mom’s 81st birthday. She passed away 8 and 1/2 years ago. As you know, having seen her struggles and the sad ending to the life of a beautiful, kind, loving being, I was highly motivated to take a different path than the one being offered and to solve Parkinson’s Disease. To my Mom, Lorraine, Happy Birthday! You have helped us all.

Here is what I wrote on the blog on my Mom’s birthday in 2010, just a few months after my full recovery:

“My Mom had Parkinson’s for 24 years before she passed away 3 and 1/2 years ago. Today would have been her 76th birthday. Mom, you were a wonderful wife, mother and grandmother, and a kind-hearted soul. You are missed by all.

“Up at 4. After breakfast, talked with Sally and then completely lost it and cried and cried. Some days, she must feel really miserable being with me. She held me and I felt better after we finished talking. Mom would have turned 75 today.”

Parkinson’s is a terrible disease for those who have it, and it is equally a terrible disease for those who love and care for those who have it. It is very difficult to stay on the path to recovery when we are riding the physical and emotional roller coaster of day-to-day living. However, we are living, and how we live is up to us. Sally helped me a lot with this understanding.

Many people believe conceptually that they got the disease when they were diagnosed. I would imagine that you were feeling something was wrong for quite some time before ending up at the Parkinson’s specialist and/or neurologist to finally get diagnosed. As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, after I recovered and the calluses disappeared from my fingertips, my fingerprint log in to my computer no longer worked. I had set the fingerprint log in 18 months prior to being diagnosed, and I have no idea how much prior in time to that I had developed the calluses.

The point I am trying to make is this: you did not get Parkinson’s the day you got diagnosed, and it is not going to go away the day after the diagnosis. The captain of the Titanic only saw the tip of the iceberg, if that, but an ice mountain had been growing for a long time beneath the surface. When Parkinson’s finally breaks to the surface, there are a mountain of layers below that need to be dealt with to beat the disease.

We have to decide we want to win this battle, and we have to chip away at it a piece at a time. To succeed, we need to get on the path to recovery and have faith in ourselves. Remember that you have the power to heal yourself. Your Parkinson’s knows it and tries to convince you otherwise.

You need to let your Parkinson’s know it cannot break your resolve. Take 5 minutes each morning and repeat, “I have the power to heal myself.” “I have the power to heal myself.” “I have the power to heal myself.” “I have the power to heal myself.” Don’t stop now, you have 4 and 3/4 minutes remaining. Chant it again for 5 minutes in the afternoon or evening, “I have the power to heal myself.” At bedtime, silently chant to yourself, “I have the power to heal myself” and drift off to sleep.

Each time you chant, you are chipping away at the Parkinson’s mountain beneath the surface and coming closer to getting in touch with your Inner Divine. You are on the path to recovery.”

So, my friends, here we are together five years after that blog post, and you are chipping away each day.

On this, my Mom’s birthday, take a moment and draw some inspiration from her. My Mom was a special lady. She was the kind of Mom who would have traded places with any of her children when we were ill just to relieve us of our suffering. For 24 years with Parkinson’s, she simply tried to pretend that she was not suffering even though her suffering was apparent to anybody who saw her. She did not want to feel like a burden or have anybody worrying about her. Mom, you never were a burden, and all of us loved you and had compassion for you and for your situation.

To all of you, I share the same sentiment: You are not a burden, and all of the rest of us here love you and have compassion for you and your situation. We are a world-wide, multi-cultural family filled with love and compassion for each other and for ourselves.

You are fighting a difficult fight, so please draw some inspiration from each other and from yourselves. Be inspired by yourself for the courage you are showing on this journey to recovery. You are taking to path least traveled, and having been there myself, I am inspired by each and every one of you.

53 Responses to Fighting Parkinson’s, and remembering my Mom on her birthday

Hi Howard, beautiful post.
Happy Birthday Lorraine, your suffering was not in vain for you gave us the gift of your son to guide us on a different path than you had to walk. Bless your beautiful soul.
Big love to all my fellow warriors healed and nearly healed 🙂 We ROCK!
Karen xx

Howard,
What a wonderful heart felt tribute to your mom. Her sufferining was not in vain it was a testomonial to how western medicine is dealing with this terrible affliction i call it an affication and not a diease becasue i dont belive it is a disease but western medicine turns it into one. I knew that drugs were never the answer and because of my beliefs and faith I am now cleared of a diagnosis I was given 4 months ago they see no signs of it and ive only been doing the recipe for 4 months! AND YES YOU HAVE TO FEEL WORSE IN ORDER TO GET BETTER. Just like when you have a cold the first couple of days arent so bad but when the cold is leaving your body thats when your symthoms are strong. What Im trying to say is this Howard if it wasnt for your mom getting parkinsons you would have never been showing us the light. Just like Jesus died for our sins and to save the world, your mother died so you can save us with parkinsons, God Bless you brother! Tony

Kind Howard, Such exquisite words for your Sweet Mama I’m sure she is shining her heart down upon you and upon all of us through you. My gratitude to her as well as to you. Her bravery was absorbed by her son and now you are imparting both of your courage to all of us. As you so succinctly put it, how we live is up to us.

Hello Karen and friends, I live in New York City and I have access to some of the best neurologist in the world I have not been feeling well for the last three years it all started with foot cramping then later on it went into slowness stiffness I am only 44 years old and was never sick a day in my life. I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s this June of 2015 my wife found Howard on the internet I spoke with him and was very very in tune with what he had to say began my therapy in June 2015 just a few days after being diagnosed. I did the recipe every single day maybe missing one day of the month for 4 months. I went to a movement disorder specialist who specializes in Parkinson’s last week on September 29th 2015, he and his staff never mentioned the word parkinson’s whatsoever. Today I consider myself officially healed but not yet officially cured. I more than ever continue to do the recipe strongly every morning. My symptoms fluctuate depending upon my nervousness. I was extremely nervous at the movement disorders specialist and still there are no signs of Parkinson’s so this is amazing!!! Howard’s recipe works there is no question about it, it works!!! god bless his soul. For those who are reading this that feel discouraged, that feel that the recipe is not working, I felt the same exact way until I realized that it did work, so don’t psych yourself out; keep pushing, keep hoping, keep praying! I have a saying “You cant fly like an eagle if you think like a chicken” there are no chickens in this group.

Tony I have a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat. Hello No. 5, the title is yours! What a gift to all of us that you have made such progress so quickly. I enjoy your hit hard at parky comments. Well done to your wife for finding Howard. I love that you have stated if I remember that you had a lot of pain, as most of us do and today, in capitals that YOU HAVE TO GET WORSE, gave me great hope Tony. Thanks for your share and JOYOUS for your result! Well done you, keep going! 🙂
Karen xx

you’re welcome Karen what I also realized that was most important is you have to accept your recovery you have to not only believe that it’s possible but you have to enjoy it and accept and believe that it is true it’s like winning a steak dinner and sitting there with a fork and knife in your hands staring at the steak and not eating it!! you deserve the dinner so eat it!! Just like you deserve to be healed its the same thing you and everybody deserves to be their best everyday but it’s up to us to open up our prize. Howard is Santa Claus

Howard
thank you for sharing in what happened to your mom. Her condition
and your condition (having Parkinson) serves its ultimate purpose to let
others know the natural way of healing Parkinson. Be blessed.

Why is it so hard to be positive? There are days when I feel that I can beat this, however, when the nausea, dizziness, tremors, anxiety and pain are at their peak, down I go again. Doing this on my own is overwhelming most of the time and motivation is out the window, completing a vicious circle. It can be a lonely place out there. Especially as it seems that I’m deteriorating rapidly, rather than improving. Friends stay away, I think because they don’t know how to take me now that I am so different and not able to participate in their social life. Your posts are inspirational and we are blessed with your wisdom and compassion, Howard. Happy Birthday to your wonderful mother, you are a legacy of her love. I also appreciate your prompt replies. Heartfelt thanks to you and fellow travelers. P.S. Well done Tony. Karen from Ireland- you are also an inspiration. Thanks.

Hi Margit, thank you. My friend I have always been very honest on here. I HEAR YOU! Last night as I could not sleep with the pain in my shoulder and the tremor in my arm, I felt as I do so often the ” overwhelm” of it all as you said in your post. I cried to God big fat tears. I’m his child, I’m doing everything I can, I don’t believe he is withholding my healing, but why have I to suffer so much still? The tears flowed as I sobbed. He listened patiently as he always does. Then I slept. I know your suffering my friend. You may be alone in reality, but the TRUTH is, you are not ” alone”. We are all connected here. We reach out to each other and feel each other’s suffering, triumphs and challenges. Within you dwells your soul, a part of God, that IS HEALING YOU. It’s just taking longer than we thought. With great suffering comes great enlightenment ! How awesome shall we feel at the finish lol. :-).
Howard once said to me that the Universe reflects back to us, that what we ” Feel” the most. So as Marie says we need to fake it til we feel it! We can’t reach recovery if we keep marinating ourselves in ” what is” ie symptoms. So that’s where God comes in. His power is within us, his Grace gives us the strength for the journey, but it’s our journey. The overwhelm is an everyday opportunity to chose differently. Focus on what we want not what’s overwhelming us. ” this too shall pass”. Hang in there. You are in good company! All the great souls suffered, but left the greatest legacy! God singled us out for greatness. You Rock my friend for facing each day. Like the Phoenix from the flame, we will rise from these symptoms and leave the ashes of Parkinson’s behind. You can do this Margrit. 🙂 Big Love, Karen xx

Howard, I can only say that I know your Mom and Dad would be as proud of you as we all are. And how fortunate you are to have Sally and such a loving family. My Aunt Lorraine was a very special lady who will never be forgotten and someone I described as being the salt of the earth. She was both beautiful inside and out and had a strong spirit to overcome as much as she possibly could. You have her strength that you are able to share with the world and I thank you for letting us remember this special day with you. Keep on with all your good work and stay well.

Tony,
Incredible news! I wish I’d found Howard and the Recipe just after I’d been diagnosed, which was over 12 years ago now. I actually found Howard two years ago, but wasn’t ready to believe it was possible. Five months ago, I suddenly realized it was possible and started following the blog daily and doing the Recipe.

Tony, your news is just one more confirmation that we’re on the road to recovery.

Howard Happy B’day to your Mom. What big a tribute could you pay your Mom, Howard than Tony’s recovery as the 5th Recovery with your receipe. The service you are rendering to mankind your mom I am sure is very proud of watching you from heaven.

Tony congratulations you have done it. Boy what a feeling it must be thinking of it my stomach churns.
P.S Tony can you share your recovery journey with us all, meaning besides the recipe what did you use in visualisations and prayers.

Good Morning all, I was more than shocked when the movement disorder and his assistants found my exam to be completly normal. Here is the thing with this Parkinson’s in my personal view and i think this may help, ask yourself what you are thinking about right this second..i bet its that you have Parkinson’s and you are afraid of what the future holds. This is all i thought about until I realized that was why i wasn’t getting better i was holding on to Parkinson’s because of fear of what doctors say there is no cure for and its something that gets worse! Well of course now thats what we are anticipating so thats what happens. I spent my entire day focusing on Parkinson’s and my symptoms rather than focusing on what i normally would. IF YOU WANT TO BEAT THIS YOU HAVE TO DETACH YOURSELF FROM IT. Yes doing the qigong is great to repair organ function but thats not the complete recipe you need to do the mental part as well and for me that was distracting my mind from it. NOTHING IS DEAD OR DYING, your dopamine is sitting there waiting for your nervous mind to shut off. The only way to do this is with faith. I bet many of you can be cured by christmas, you are already healed, you just don’t believe it because your symptoms are there. Remember these words THE MIND IS THE BIGGEST LIAR IN THE WORLD BUT THE BODY NEVER LIES! Believe it because its true! STOP WAITING TO BE CURED, BECAUSE THE CURE DOESN’T COME FROM FROM ANYONE BUT YOU!! Howard gave us the recipe but its up to us to do the cooking! God is with you!!!

Tony, I find this to be a very insightful post. The messages you emphasized with all caps are excellent! Thank you for pouring your heart out for us. And as you said the only way to do this is with faith.

I want to clarify some things because there seems to be a lot of confusion. Tony has not reached his symptom free, full recovery cure. He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, twice, and after 5 months of doing the Recipe, he went for an independent exam and he did not mention the previous diagnosis so he could get an untainted exam. At the conclusion of the exam, they did not mention Parkinson’s. This is quite wonderful. However, as Tony has mentioned, but some of you have not noticed, his symptoms fluctuate as a result of the emotions and mind chatter type of issues we regularly discuss on this site. Is Tony close to his full recovery? As he pointed out, his body is healed, but he needs to get control of his mind and emotions with acceptance of life and acceptance of recovery.

It will be an exciting day when Tony, or any one of you, is the next to reach a full recovery. I am looking forward to the next time I can post, “Fighting Parkinson’s, and _____ is symptom free!”

In the meantime, please take inspiration from the hard work and dedication to doing the Recipe that Tony explains in his comments. I have seen his dedication, just as I have seen many of your dedication, to doing the Recipe with full faith in your recovery. Keep up the great work…all of you. You are worth it!!!

Thank you for all of your kind notes and birthday wishes for my Mom. She was a special lady.

Karen, thank you. You express yourself so well, which is something I struggle with. Tony’s wise words are also appreciated and I agree with him. I hold so much in, always have and agree that my mind is my biggest hurdle. I haven’t been able to cry, just to let all the hurt that I am holding on to, out. I feel this would help. Also, faith is a big issue with me. It’s so easy to fall apart again when everything is worse. Does anyone else feel “funny or weird” in the head? It’s like I’m not there, especially when I walk, but also when I talk, be it on the phone or person to person. No-one here understands how I feel. I so appreciate this wonderful, caring community. Thank you all.

Margit, you say you find it hard to express yourself, but the words you use resonate with me with what you are feeling. ” funny in the head” is so accurate. 🙂 . It is something I have noticed is improving. Conversation used to be challenging as I got confused easily and lost track in what I was trying to say. There is always ” stuff” going on in my head, headaches, crunching in my neck etc. Goosebumps in my head is my favourite ( Howard says its dopamine, so I love when that happens) just try and think of it as your brain healing and creating new circuits. The mind is like an old tape recorder, which keeps a record of all the negative stuff we have ever heard or been told about ourselves in our lifetime. When we are fearful it hits the replay button of all the negative thoughts. Try and be the ” observer” when it happens. As one of the Warriors said ” I see you fear and I chose Love” It takes discipline and being alert, but you can master it. Faith is a little harder, so just ask out loud ” please help me find strength in this” and keep asking and keep being open for it coming. Hope this helps friend.
Karen xx

Hi Margit, I entirely understand your comment about feeling ‘not really there’, inside your head, I often feel the same, this affliction seems to rob me of my personality, and above all, my sense of ‘well being’, which I used to take entirely for granted. I now avoid social situations wherever possible, as for some reason I struggle to maintain eye contact.
However in order to recover, it is imperative to abandon the whole ‘worrying about symptons’ syndrome. Unwavering belief in my recovery and Faith in God is what I try and focus on now.. . . Courage and Blessings my friend

I keep surrendering my mind to God but think I’ve lived so long in my adrenaline mind that somehow I just automatically react to situations and find it hard to accept when my legs are really bad, which in turn affects my back and sleeping. I do find though if I can accept it, it does make a difference. Tiredness is hard to deal with and affects so much. I guess, as Howard says, I have to consciously choose to say ok to situations and being continually aware to keep my eye on the ball of my recovery which I totally believe in x

Thanks for sharing this, Cynthia. It can be so disappointing, can’t it, to realise that the old automatic reaction has happened in a flash. But every time we manage to keep our eye on the ball rather than automatically reacting in the old way, we’re working on the rewiring – one new neural connection at a time! Eventually we’ll lay down a whole bunch of new neural pathways via which we’ll have new automatic reactions – healthy ones. I think the whole process of following the Recipe is a process of rewiring ourselves – one new neural connection at a time!

Thank you Karen and Anita for your encouraging comments. I know I tend to expect too much from myself as I always want to get it right! But new pathways are being formed in all of us as we chip away at the iceberg and I’m a lot kinder to myself than I used to be x

Thank you Howard for sharing about your mum, and a truly strong wonderful woman that she was. She must feel so proud of you and what you share, and have achieved.

Wow Tony how absolutely wonderful that you are now symptom free. How free you must feel. What strength and courage you and your wife showed to have achieved this.
You are an inspiration. Number 5 cheers and cheers to you. Love Helen

Thank you Margit for your sharing: “funny or weird in the head” Right on for articulating what I & others are experiencing in the parky-dance! NO ONE, EXCEPT US, GETS IT! Coupled with extreme self-consciousness makes it seem an almost unbearable state…—–>stifled motivation, weakness ——>a vicious circle.
I’m trying out “fakin’ it ’til I’m makin’ it”, a way to engage more socially, get my mind off obsessing re: symptoms…Perhaps I risk (figuratively) ‘falling flat on my face’, making an a___ of myself, which I do ANYWAYS in this dance, but at least I’m de-isolating, thinking about other things besides “the big P”…! What do you think?

Tony, thanks for your experienced words of mental/emotional/faith advice! So helpful in an esp. dark period when I need a flashlight…I’m also a NYC kid.

Thank you all for sharing your healing stories. Together, we won’t just feel “funny in the head”,- we’ll laugh Ol Mr. P. right out of town!
Lots of Love to everyone!
I have the power to heal myself.
I am recovery.
Yes!

Thank you Karen, Rebecca and Tom for your kind and supportive words. You are an inspiration to me. Its’ very hard, as you know, not to focus on these unpleasant symptoms and to think positive, when there is never a time when I feel any sense of relief. We do have the power to heal ourselves, I firmly believe that. Love to you all.

Thanks to all for your generosity in sharing your journey with PD…your authenticity and courage support me in my own journey to wellness. Your stories help me to realize that in every moment I have a choice. I can choose to be a victim and succumb to fear…or I can choose to connect with my own empowerment and attend to life’s abundant beauty. I feel joy when I surrender to life. Sometimes I need a little nudge…all of you provide that in spades. THANK YOU!

I feel the mantra Howard directed us to use will build and strengthen belief in recovery, as the message permeates our daily lives. I think I have been slow to embrace the truth that I have the power to heal myself. My heart wants to, but my mind resists.
I am determined that my heart will win!
Thanks, everyone, for sharing such honest and helpful thoughts. Love to all on this wonderful but sometimes treacherous journey!

Dear Howard, thank you again and again for the great community.
Since I founded your website, since we started to talk to you , I do not have any fear, that Parkinsons should go worst, as the western medicine say. In fact, some symptoms for my husband got better, but the side effects of his drugs are making the life sometimes hard.
Dear, Tony
Thank you for your support. I agree, that Howard gave us Recipe, now it is up to us to do the cooking
We can do this!
Thank you all for the inspiration
Thank you Howard

Hello. So exciting to read all these posts! great news about how quickly you have progressed Tony, and I really think you hit the nail on the head with your comments about claiming your recovery and detaching from Parkinson’s .
That is the meaning, really, behind the expressions “fake it,til you make it” or,”fake it,til you feel it ” that I used to explain that process in my own full recovery. I did feel discouraged at times. But I did not give over my energy to that. Howard had made clear the risks of,that, so I did my best to tune out FEAR and I acted as if I had perfect faith in my recovery, doing the Recipe regardless of how I felt on any particular day, and even when the faith was n’t there to motivate me. Sometimes I had to will myself to carry on as if I were feeling strong and positive even if that wasn’t what I felt. But then…the “til you make it” part of the statement….the reality ALWAYS caught up with me. By following through even when I felt weak or negative it was as though I rode the Recovery Surfboard over the wave of those feelings .
My love and best wishes to you all.
And special thank you and love love to you, Howard, my dear friend, and my gratitude to both you and your beautiful mother.

Howard, my deep gratitude to yourself and your beloved mother. Marie, Tony: could you please explain how to “fake it,til you make it” or,”fake it,til you feel it ”, specially when movement or stress leads to tremors?

Thank you Marie for your beautiful comments coming from one who has achieved recovery! I love the analogy of riding the wave of recovery over other not so positive thoughts and feelings. I have a tendency to feel that even if I try to fake it, my body would know the real feeling hiding underneath! Obviously it worked for you, so that gives me more motivation to do that and keep faking it till I make it! Thank you for taking the time keep in touch with this group of warriors ! Thank you Howard For always being there for all of us, you are the best! Thank you to this community for your comments and encouragement. One saying I have adopted recently , ” I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I knew I could! We are all close Enough to the finish line to give one giant leap! You are almost there Tony, lead The way for the rest of us to follow. Thank you for your comments about claiming recovery and detaching from PD! I often is your life shedding my PD skin and a merging as the new me ! We can do this right

Thank you Howard for your straight forward council, advice, and love. Thank you Marie for your positive comments and encouragement. Thank you to each of you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
I loved when Marie said, ” By following through even when I felt weak or negative it was as though I rode the Recovery Surfboard over the wave of those feelings .”
To me it is just like riding a Recovery Surfboard over the wave. Once I got up, got the momentum going and was feeling positive, (which I did when I first started doing this wonderful Recipe for Recovery) it was, and still is so much easier to keep it going than “sinking down” into despair with negative thoughts. I am up and I am determined to keep “riding it out” till the end… with full recovery.
It isn’t always an easy task, but “getting sucked under” by symptoms or negative situation, which definitely have and do come up , never will make it an “easier or a more doable ride.” I am accepting the situations as they come, but I am putting my thoughts and energies into positive actions. I am concentrating on things that I can do from moment to moment. Not on things that I can’t . This is what keeps me moving forward and “riding the wave.”
I believe that the direction I am moving in is what matters. It does not matter the pace at which I am able to go . This is a 3 fold Recipe. There are ALWAYS parts of it that I can be doing. Many days I can work on all three areas. These are the days that I am at the top of the wave and enjoying the ride. When things get hard, I do whatever I can to keep the momentum going and keep moving in the right direction. I ride the difficult parts of the wave out any possible positive way. I do not allow them to pull me back. I hold tight to the momentum I have created. I do the best that I can with the Recipe. I love and accept myself and the challenges which come my way. I will not allow myself to loss the momentum which I have created. I can feel it and I have faith in it.
I am grateful for the chance I have been given “To ride this wave” of life. I am grateful for all of you and for your shouts of encouragement along the way. I am so grateful for Howard who has ridden this wave just in front of me. I am grateful that he patiently waits just ahead, giving me encouragement and direction all along the way !
I am grateful that I can express my feelings to all of you. I am the one who benefits the most when I put down in words what I am feeling.
Have a wonderful day and stay on that wave 🙂
Love and Blessings,
Debbie

Debbie, that was a great explanation of how you keep on top of the wave of recovery! Great analogy, great advice! Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and ideas of how to shed our PD skin and not allow him any power.