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Topic: Quotes...got any? (Read 75366 times)

"Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!"~Auron FFX

"The sword is only a tool. What power does it have compared to the hand that wields it? Evil is clever, and deception is it's most powerful weapon. Let the sword guide you to your fate, but let your mind set free the path to your destiny."~Samurai Jack's father, first ep.

"Et tu Brutus!?"~Ceasar

"If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!"~Unknown

"They have now made an invention to keep the inside of the car quiet,It fits right over her mouth."~Herman Munster

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be missquoted and then used against you." - Hiei

"People truly begin to live their lives when they live for something other than themselves." ~Albert Einstien

"Don't go dyin' on me...I'll have nightmares." ~Cloud Strife, FF7

"The world changes, we do not, there lies the irony that finally kills us." ~Interview with the vampire

"DIE! No I mean ::cough:: congratu... no I don't! DIE you little BUGGERS!" Me at a friends online wedding.

Note to self: Drinking cappucino two hours before bed is just a bad idea.

"Who was that?""An old god. A very old god. Come, Scott Free; let us hit the kitchen. I have a secret stash of Oreos of which you are welcome to partake." - Scott Free and the Martian Manhunter, The Sandman: Passengers

"If I had been in the President's place, I would not have gotten the chance to resign. I would be lying in a pool of my own blood hearing Mrs. Armey standing over me saying 'How do you reload this d**ned thing?'" - Texas Representative Dick Armey, asked by a reporter if he would resign had he been in President Clinton's place.

"What power would hell have is those here imprisoned were not able to dream of heaven?" - Dream of the Endless, The Sandman: A Hope in Hell

Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

"Give me back the coffee, and I will allow you to continue to breathe." - a friend of mine in high school

"Moebius is my good servant. I have many.""And if I told Moebius that he was worshipping...A giant squid...Do you think that his faith would falter?" -The Elder God and Raziel, Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2

"Everyone is afraid, Raziel. These times of change can be so... Unsettling." -Melchiah, Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver

"No! Where is the sense in all this?! Braska believed in Yevon's teachings and died for them! Jecht believed in Braska, and gave his life for him!" -Auron, Final Fantasy X

"Do you have some sort of strange speech impediment that requires twenty minutes of absolute silence before you say anything useful?!" -Sain Kraji the Dawn Caste Pirate to the frustratingly monkish Sidereal Blossom of Silence, my Exalted game

"Let's go, gang!""Jinkies.""I said, let's go, gang!""I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE!" -Nova Raku the Eclipse Caste and Feathers of the Raven the Full Moon Caste, my Exalted game

"I want to eat the sandwich.""No, you don't.""Yes I do!""Okay, but there's some mighty strange mayonnaise on that sandwich." -This quote has already been explained anywhere. Needless to say, the Dwarf Conspiracy was involved.

"I came here to do two things, chew bublegum and kick some ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum." -Roddy Piper before shooting up a bank in the greatest movie ever They Live.

"Come get some!" -Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness

"The loser has to run laps around the room, singing mary had a little lamb while we throw textbooks at them." -Mr. Haake my AP Music Theory teacher explaining what happens to the person who is the last standing in the interval game.

"I fed the goldfish, but for some reason, I fed him chili. A lot of chili." -Mild Abandon

"It is a sad day for Physics and my regrettable duty to inform the world that the unified theory of everything known to you as Ultimate Beauty has failed to include the human moustache in its calculations and at the present appears unable to do so." -Mild Abandon

"I might also mention that giving me this job would be a fulfillment of prophecy." -Mild Abandon

"Mom! Good news! They're making a sitcom out of one of my haikus!" -Mild Abandon

"Look, Darth, do you realize people around here are actually scared of you!? They're afraid that if they approach you with their questions or concerns that you'll kill them?" That's no true, my doors always open..." "Your doors always open, but if anybody comes in there, you choke them!" ~Darth's evaulation

"Instead of choking someone you could give them a pat on the back." "I don't understand...how would that kill them?" "It wouldn't kill them, it would encourage them, it would say 'Hey, you dropped the ball, but we're all on the same Death Star here." ~Darth's evaulation

"You know Darth, space is a lonely place is a lonely place, and if we bad guys can't be kind to each other, then why are we out here blowing up planets ain the first place?"~Darth's evaulation

"We'd like to talk to you about the mission statement you wrote up for the Death Star, what was that again?" "It blows up planets..." "Yea...see, I think we can expand on that. How about something like, the Death Star is a world class cost effective center of excellent, in the field of blowing up planets. It will oppress the galaxy while providing a respectable non-smoking, wheel-chair accessable work-place for it's staff, robots, and big snake things that live in the trash compacter."~Darth's evaulation

"Remember, buddy, the dark-side is supposed to be the FUN-side of the force, so..go get drunk, smoke something, pick a fight with a storm-trooper we got lots of them, they're cheap. " Alright, May the force be with you." "Absolutely, see you at the gold tournament."~Darth's evaulation

"Welcome, ah, Internet Help Desk...it's a tough gig, yea, I figure you got your four basic essential services in our society. You got your police, your fire, ambulance...Internet help desk. You know, Air traffic controllers claim they have the most stressful job...ha! But I'll tell you man, there is nothing that beats the adrenaline buzz of configuring some idiots adsl modem, even though he's running windows 3.1 on a 386 with 4 megs of ram man!"

"Thank you for calling the internet help desk, one of our trained technichians will be with you shortly, please hold..." "Okay..so that's the first thing, the hold button is your best friend, okay? Always put the customer on hold right off the bat, shows 'em who's boss." "Thank you for holding, your call is very important to us, please hold." "Take some of the fight out of 'em you know? Which is important, because when they start telling you they don't know how to use a mouse, or that they've been putting their coffee cup in their cd-rom trey, and they start to realize what an idiot they are, they are gonna be venting all over you my friend. But don't worry,I'm here, I'm a vet, I'm a pro, hell, I've been here eight months." "Okay, thank you for holding, my name's wess, how can I help you?...Un-huh, you can't get your e-mail...oh, that does sound serious, can you be more specific?...You can't, okay, please hold." *Insert long pause* "Thanks for holding, okay, I'm going to need to find out if your running Microsoft outlook express or netscape communicator...No, you don't, okay...Well, look in the top right corner of your screen, do you see a big blue E or a big green N....big black nothing, okay, I'm really sorry, that's totally my fault. Okay, what your gonna need to do, listen to me very carefully, your gonna have to turn your computer on, yea, un-huh, okay I'll wait." "Guys got 10,000 times the power of the computer we used to land on the moon, and he needs me to turn it on." "Okay, good, you got it all booted up? No, sir, please stop kicking it, no, is it turned on? Good, great, okay, what I'm gonna need you to do is read from the big t.v. part, your gonna need to read me the name of the picture you click on the get your e-mail normally...Microsoft Outlook, okay great, goahead and click on that...Up at the top theirs file, view, blah, blah, tools. Click up there, bring it down, click on accounts, okay when the window comes up click on the mail tab, click on the blue text, click on pro...no, tools, tools, tools sir, Microsoft office?..No, no, your not running office, your running the wrong program...No, no It's my fault entirely, just...no...illegal instruction, well, I'm sorry your copy of office must be pooched sir, no, no, you haven't broken any laws, it's an illegal instruction, it's a, a compu....No sir, please stop crying...do not unplug, Do not unplug it...okay, let's just plug it back in then...good, okay excellent, you just let it start up and I'll be right back." Okay..we have a serious twelve o'clock flasher...You know what a twelve o'clock flasher is? It means all the appliances in his house are always flashing twelve o'clock. There's no way it can be done, I've seen guys eat their head-sets trying. It's time to go to plan B." "Sir, do you have a child in the house?"

"Six pints of bitter, please. And hurry; the world's about to end." - Ford Prefect, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The desire to seem clever often keeps us from being so.

Red meat is not bad for you. Blue-green meat, now that's bad for you.

Man said to the Universe, "Sir, I exist." The Universe replied, "Yet this creates in me no sense of obligation."

"No" simply means begin again at one level higher.

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

The Cup of Life is full of Jell-O.

Spider monkeys are the devil's work.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains popular?

No matter how much you accomplish, you are still going to die eventually.

Don't annoy the crazy person.

If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

A conclusion is the place where you stopped thinking.

Life's short and hard, kind of like a bodybuilding elf.

Do not start with me. You will not win.

General note to all stupid goons: It doesn't matter how pretty a female outlaw is or how delicate she may seem. She can and will kick your ass if you irritate her, and a lot of them can get nasty. They also have very short fuses. More specifically, if you run into a woman in a dark alley in a bad part of town, and she exhibits no fear or nervousness, LEAVE HER ALONE. Almost certainly she can kill or maim you faster than you can grab her.

Don't ever, ever underestimate an outlaw. Especially a cornered outlaw. It will get you killed.

"There's a word for this situation, and that word is d**n..." - me buddy Clarissa

"Dear God, save me from your fan club..." - Clarissa again

Howdy-do. I'm the resident thief, and I will be relieving you of your valuables this evening. If you feel any desire to complain to the management, feel free to try to locate the Thieves' Guildmaster, and may God have mercy on your soul.