Thursday, March 31, 2016

Kaelah's Corner (Mar 2016): On Being Mr and Mrs Rohrstock-Palast

Yes, it's true, folks! Ludwig and I are finally married. While other couples split up after seven years, we decided it was a good time to take the next step.

As you can imagine, I am not the princess type. So, there were no white horses, no carriage, no heart-shaped balloons (or white doves) or any of that stuff. Just a little ceremony followed by a party with family and friends, involving good food, lovely conversation and lots of (progressive) rock and metal music.

I didn't wear a white wedding dress, either. First of all, I don't see why I should spend so much money on a dress which I only wear once in my life. Second, white is a colour that doesn't suit me. And third, wearing a white wedding dress (the colour of innocence) simply would have been a lie! :-) So, I wore my Chinese wedding dress which harmonized wonderfully with the bridal bouquet in warm colours that Ludwig had chosen. Ludwig wore an elegant suit and looked very handsome.

Some of you might remember that I have written about my commitment phobia a while ago. We took that into account by tailoring the event according to our needs and to who we really are. No vows to love each other forever (don't get me wrong, that's of course the plan, but I don't think it's something one can promise to another person), no talk about how we can't stop thinking about each another or about wanting to be together 24/7 (a horrible idea) or about how futile our lives would be without each other (we both wouldn't want to be with a person whose only sense in life comes from being with a partner).

Instead we made a little funny, tongue-in-cheek presentation about our history and years together and the time to come. Well, at least about those parts one would want to tell one's granny about! ;-) It was a very relaxed day, much more than we had expected. And we got the most wonderful compliment that I can imagine by several of our guests. Apart from telling us that they enjoyed the party and felt very comfortable and welcome, they said that they had rarely seen a bride and groom who were so relaxed and easy-going on their wedding day!

Let's hope that this is a good omen for our upcoming years together as Mr and Mrs!

32 comments:

Oh wow, huge congratulations. Your ceremony sounds very much like mine...after 17 years of living together (can't rush these things) in the back yard with just family and a few friends, red wedding dress, maid of honour was our daughter who was 21 years old and insisted on wareing fairy wings.

I suspect that this was a statement of how you would like to spend your life together. I hope this is the start of a whole new adventure that may include many spanking days

Many congratulations. I hope you both have a very long and happy marriage.I agree that you are very sensible to apend tens of thousands of Euros/Pounds as now seems to be the current trend.I speak as an irritated father helplessly watching a monumental waste of money being planned!

Congratulations! It is great that you have made the formal step in a life long commitment to each other. Marriage is never easy but it is a joy nonetheless. We have been married 39 years and still get a kick from seeing each other each day.

I am glad you had such a happy and relaxed day. Princess-type weddings are indeed overrated. (Actually, I have a vague memory from the early days of Kaelah's corner of lurking around and wondering whether you'd have a Klingon wedding one day. :) )

As a photographer who used to take thousands off bride's and groom's for (beautiful) photos looked at once a year I congratulate you on your commonsense. A pragmatic attitude like this will support you commitment to each other for many years to come.Well done and all the best

How fortunate you two have been to find each other.Creating a good marriage is more difficult than the creation of the world.My you be together always, annealing in the warmth of your mutual affection.

I probably shouldn't be surprised, as your posts are always so thoughtful and wise, but it's still refreshing to read someone whose thoughts are so similar to mine (and my partner's) on this. The idea of promising to love someone forever seems bizarre; I can't make myself feel something just because I once promised to, can I? And the idea of promising to stay together, even if we make one another miserable, is just awful. That, together with the strongly patriarchal trappings of the traditional marriage has put us off the idea. But it sounds as though you two absolutely nailed it! :-)

@ Downunder Don:Sounds like you didn't only have a great wedding ceremony but also have a wonderful relationship with your wife and a cool daughter! I hope that we well have such a great partnership and family as well.

@ Jimisim:Thank you for your good wishes. I keep my fingers crossed that the upcoming wedding won't cost you a fortune!

@ Spearthrower:That sounds like a wonderful marriage, something we would love to achieve as well.

@ Secret Spanko:Thank you for your comment! I don't manage to comment a lot on other blogs, either, these days, so I know what you mean.

@ Svetlana:A Klingon ceremony would indeed have been great, too, (maybe minus the broken collar bone). But I guess it would have irritated the family a bit, I suppose almost as much as a Betazoid ceremony would have. ;-)

@ taurusegester:Thank you very much for your kind words! I would have loved to have some more outdoor pictures taken by a skilled photographer (if not a professional one). On the other hand you are right – one probably doesn't look at those pictures very often. And instead of staged professional photos we have video clips and pictures of the actual ceremony and party which I think is an even better way to commemorate the event!

@ harang:Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts on the subject! It's nice to see that we are not the only ones who don't want to promise something that is impossible to guarantee and can even cause a miserable life. But, hey, that doesn't mean that the concept of marriage is per se bad, as long as one lives it in a way that feels right for both partners!

@ Anonymous:Thanks for your comment! Ludwig and I indeed have many shared values and beliefs – and their number has grown since we have become a couple. I agree with you that this is important for a happy married life.

@ Abel123:It's wonderful to hear from you! I hope you and EJ are well. Thank you very much for your good wishes!

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