Australia's finest suppository of news and views.

England Shocked To Learn That Home Is Actually France

The entire country of England was shocked overnight to learn that home is now located in France following the French team’s World Cup victory over Croatia.

“Well they fooled me, I thought all along the whole country saying ‘it’s coming home’ meant that the World cup was coming over here to London,” said Brixton Football fan Charlie Boot. “But turn’s out the World cup prefers Paris. Don’t blame it really Versailles is a lot nicer than Buckingham palace and they don’t have Trump visiting at the moment either.”

When reached for comment the World Cup which was in the middle of settling into it’s new apartment on the Champs Elysees said: “Why on earth would I want to call England home, how dreary. If ever I was going to call somewhere home it would be somewhere familiar like Rio, Berlin or Paris. You know somewhere I’ve been before recently.”