Fox News reports on an epidemic of “starving” schoolchildren in the wake of recent changes in federal school lunch programs that made the meals a bit healthier.

Shockingly, Fox reporters discovered that part of the problem is that, well, kids would rather eat pizza and chocolate milk than more fruits and veggies, less meat and cheese, and plain old low-fat milk. (Which was true in 1971 at Bishop McNamara High School in Kankakee, Illinois, too–I know this for a fact.*)

Why is this even an issue? Fox’s concern makes a bit more sense when you consider who was behind the school lunch changes: none other than Michelle Obama, whose husband happens to not be Fox News’s choice for president.

Normally I’d pontificate a bit about this, but nobody says it better than Jon Stewart:

*Me, suavely ignoring broccoli, 1971.

“Why is this news?!” he rhetorically asked. “If [Michelle Obama] said we needed clean air, half the country would demand gills, because, freedom!” Stewart said.