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I’ve said this many times. I’ve even said it after I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve changed my mind so many times that I realized I actually never got anything done. Until I started practicing these next things I’m about to tell you…

It takes real effort and work to talk to people these days. There's no "swipe" or "skip" option when it comes to a conversation. There's no turning off your read receipts. What you see, how you react or respond, and your facial expressions are all real, ineradicable. There's no back button, cut or paste option...

In today’s society, settling down and meeting the standards of this culture seems all very important. But what if I don’t want to be a part of today’s culture and society? What if I want to be different? What if I want it to be different? What if today’s standard is just another prison we’ve made for ourselves to keep us from facing our fears of failure or of success?

Social media isn't going away no matter how many times we delete Facebook, or take a break from social media, or deactivate our accounts when we're just over with it. It's still a very handy tool. I'm not saying to do away with it... but rather... I want to propose a movement of real life, imperfection, rawness, and messy stuff.

It’s not about us being seen or our talent being showcased or people admiring our talent. It’s about people encountering the Father’s love, it’s about Jesus being adorned with adoration, and it’s about the Holy Spirit moving among the people with encounters.

I've been asked a lot of questions. First of all, I picked up everything and left for Los Angeles, guns blazing and ready for what God had next for me. Now I'm back in Texas. Why wouldn't you ask? Why wouldn't there be questions?

Did I fail? No, I chose to come home with much prayer, consideration, and counsel from respected leadership in my life. And I am incredibly happy about my decision.

Was I just lonely? Of course! A new city, no matter who you're with or not with, is always going to come with a level of loneliness you can never prepare yourself for.

Was I homesick? Yes, extremely. Which isn't actually normal for me, so I knew God was working in my heart.

Did I get it out of my system? Hell, no. Pioneering and adventure - it's in my blood and it's who I am. There will always be some level of relocation and rebuilding for me.

What did I learn?

This is the whole point of this post - what I've learned. I included a song below about my journey, written with raw, real emotions. Honestly, I almost didn't post it. It scared me, because it's so honest and real.

I learned that you need family. Not just the blood-related kind and not just the community you see a few times a week, but never connect with. I'm talking about the family that may not carry the same name, but champion and support you regardless of your mistakes. The ones you do life, work, and ministry with. These are the ones you need to be with. Whether they go on the road with you, or they are the home you come back to. You are created for family, not just community. You need to know you belong. You need a place to rest.

I learned that you can make family everywhere you go, but not everyone is going to be on the same level as you. So, pace yourself, because it takes a while. Everyone longs for connection. Not everyone is certain how long you stay, so make sure you are quite realistic with setting expectations for new friends, whether you travel a lot or you're just starting a new friendship. I hate hurting people, and I know I've hurt a lot of people, I'll admit it. I'm so imperfect, it's not even funny. But I am learning and I am doing my best. And I've found that expectations are foundational in how you choose to respond to people. So, most likely, lower them for others, for yourself, and be extremely realistic with where you're at. As an previous boss used to say, "Under promise and over deliver."

I learned that selling everything you have really relinquishes the need for having and collecting multiple things. And when something breaks or needs replacing, it's all going to be okay. There are a lot of people don't have what I have entirely anyway, so going without something or working more to makeup for the replacement is counted as a blessing rather than a stress. I found beauty in shedding things that had held so much value, because the true value surfaced in appreciating what I did have rather than what I didn't. There is beauty in losing, because then you see what you've already gained.

I learned that risk is something I will always do and will always be learning how to risk better. If that even makes sense. Always risk. Always do the things that freak you out the most, because that's usually the thing you're meant to do. Let it shake you to your core. And when you're left trembling from the rawness of risk, then it's time to stand up. As Brene Brown says, "Don't shrink back and don't puff up, stand your sacred ground." And as Theodore Roosevelt's famous speech, The Man In The Arena, "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming..." So, I say to you, risk and risk again.

There is much more that I have learned, but I think this will do for now. I've written a lot and now I want you to hear me sing more words. :) All in all, risk, lose, give, and love. These are what I have found and what I've learned. Selah.

We've always been afraid of opposition. We’ve always been afraid of the unstable thing. And, honestly, we’re afraid of the big things, especially when life becomes too much or gets too shaky than we're normally comfortable with. And isn't it just the little fears that barricade us from persevering forward?