A Life That Affects Me

I know a lot of things that I should not know at this age and those things occur in my everyday life. When I wake up I have a bad mood that and I have to deal with it every time I am home. It’s a mood that ss because of my mom and her boyfriend. My mom's boyfriend is not a good guy he’s someone that likes to cause problems and he doesn’t care about things until they affect him. My mom is a very strong person mentally she does not put up with any crap. But there's some reason that she has a weak mentality with Dee, her boyfriend. I get so annoyed at her actions because when thinking about them two she does not think about how it affects me. She does not know that I know everything that they talk about and I know what everything means. She thinks that I am too young to know what she is going through with him. Yes I am too young but I know what these things men because I hear them so much I use context clues to figure them out. And most of them are excuses but I don’t know what she is making up excuses for I just know that their are stupid reasons for staying with him and those reasons don’t make any sense. She just tells me that it is hard to let go of someone you love and I know that but it is way passed that stage of letting go someone you love it’s letting go of someone that has only brought you stress and hatred. And she doesn’t realize when all that builds up she takes it out on me not physically but emotionally and when she does, she tries to Blame random stuff on me that has nothing to do with what is going on with what is going on in that moment and makes a big deal out of something that is not a big deal just to make herself feel better and those things don’t affect me anymore but they use to. And I always use to get mad at myself because she would get angry with me and that is how I dealt with it for awhile, thinking it was my fault. This was only to deflect some of the anger off herself. One example of what happens of when she makes a big deal and it is not a big deal at all occurred during a week that we had no school I wanted to go to my dad's house to hangout with my pa. I also wanted to go to bass pro shop so my mom brings me to his house because he works 1pm to 10pm. So I was going to be home for a little bit by myself but it’s not the first time that I was. I do so every week so I get dropped of around 7:00 my dad was going to be home in about three and a half hours so I watch tv for a little then I fall asleep around 8pm. Then my mom tries calling me and I have my ringer off so I don’t hear it she calls me eight more times then she calls my dad and says that xander is not answering his phone something must of happened to him. I remember that her and her boyfriend got in a fight that night going home and he left the house. So she makes a big deal tells dad to leave work early and is standing outside the house yelling I still don’t hear her so dad gets home lets her in and I still don’t wake up. I wake up about 20min after they have entered the house.

And I said, “what are you doing here? I thought you went home.”

She started to yelling at me and blamed me ,but I had my ringer off.

She said that she tried calling me and she got all worried. Then, she started to cry.

I said “shut up you're just blaming it on me to make yourself feel better because you probably got in a fight with Dee”.

And I went back upstairs and she left. And a lot of this goes on but the part that affects me is the fighting and yelling and swearing and it’s like at 2am sometimes and I have school in a couple hours and they’re yelling slamming stuff and I have to make him leave the house with a bat. And it Annoys me and makes me emotional and I can’t focus on school that day and i'm sad and have a bad day at school. The title “a life that affects me” is not just a title it is a personal statement that I have to deal with.