Funny Things My Friends and Family Say – Part 1

This will turn into a series of quotes my friends and family have said to me. I’ll keep the quotes anonymous, but if any of the people I’ve quoted are reading this – you know who you are!

Just to clarify: the people who have said these things are some of the nicest and most accepting people I know. They are not racist, sexist, homophobic etc. – they just perhaps don’t think before speaking sometimes (something we’re all guilty of – or at least I am!).

“If a gay man propositions a straight man, the straight man has to accept to avoid being politically incorrect.”

Following explanation of another friend describing themselves as wasian (a white asian): “So if I was to go to India and get a bit of a tan, would that make me wasian?”

*trying to look at popping candy on tongue* “Oowww… I got popping candy in my eye.”

“Buying from The White Company is a life-style choice.”

Me: “How are you going to get here? You don’t drive.”
Them: “I’ll steal a cow and ride it to you.”
Me (worried they might actually do that, as they keep talking about freeing farm animals): “You might want to use the word liberate rather than steal when you end up in Court.”

“What’s a flowerbed?” (said by a town planner)

“I shop at Marks and Spencer because I don’t have time to choose between different types of ketchup.” (said by someone who is not known for being especially busy)