‘Duck Dynasty’ Season Premiere: Let’s Rename It ‘The Uncle Si Show’

A recounting of his oddball medical history? A treasure hunt involving random trivia? A monologue praising the genius of ‘Air Bud?’ If I learned anything from the premiere of season five, it’s that it’s time for Uncle Si to go solo and spin-off into his own show.

Duck Dynasty returned to the airwaves on Jan. 15 on the heels of the controversy that erupted after Phil Robertson‘s racist, anti-gay comments to GQ magazine. Unfortunately, Phil — and most of the family — had relatively quiet nights, but that thankfully opened the door for the true star to shine — Uncle Si.

‘Duck Dynasty’ Season Five Premiere: Uncle Si Steals The Show

While the monster conflict revolving around Rebecca Robertson‘s return was fizzling out in the season five premiere (seriously, she told Willie that she had a “business plan” and he immediately became cool with her moving home?), Uncle Si was having an MVP night. In the first episode, Si had the flu — and while illness has been known to keep the Tom Bradys of the worldout, Si only stepped up his game. It’s probably because in his life he’s been infected with dragon pox, the andromeda strain, black breath, and many more unknown diseases.

First he manipulated his way into staying with Phil and Miss Kay by comparing his home life to Home Alone. Suggesting that he may get robbed while dying from the flu at home, Si expertly laid on the self-pity by saying he’d be fine — so long as he strung up a few paint cans for protection. And with that, he had Kay eating out of the palm of his hand. (Si later gave Kay the flu.)

Once Si was sunk into Phil’s couch, the real gems started flying. He didn’t want chicken noodle soup to cure his flu — all he needed was Air Bud. This is the moment that Si became my favorite person — when he whipped out VHS copies of the entire Air Bud series. “I love that dog,” Si confessed. To which I responded, “I love you, Si.”

Uncle Si’s Treasure Hunt Gone Wrong

By the second episode, Uncle Si’s Air Bud marathon had apparently done the trick and he was back on his feet in time to entertain Jep‘s kids with a homemade treasure hunt. Except for Si, a treasure hunt is apparently just several rounds of Trivial Pursuit. Starting on an X (which was understandably confusing for everyone else), Si wouldn’t let the young’ns find clues unless they could correctly answer things like, “Who was Lyndon B. Johnson’s wife?” As you can imagine, the hunt was rocky.

And when the kids did get to the end, it looked exactly like grave site. “You know this is gonna scar them for life if they dig up a dead person, right?” Jep said to Si after he told the kids to get digging. It wasn’t a dead person though, just a bunch of candy covered in dirt.

Uncle Si: Should He Get His Own Show?

This happens to the best reality stars — New York spinning off from Flavor of Love, Chance & Real spinning off from I Love New York – they just become too big for the show that introduced them. And the first two episodes of season five of Duck Dynasty confirmed that Si is bigger than the show. In fact, his shoulders must be getting tired from carrying it.

Maybe it’s time to get away from Duck Commander, and just film Uncle Si sitting on his couch watching Air Bud for eight straight hours. I would watch that.

What do you think, HollywoodLifers? Was Si the MVP for you last night? Let us know!