A Call for Conscious Evolution

Tag Archives: soul

Tina Turner might have been speaking about the confusion love creates when falling for another, but love baffles even more people when they think about showing love to themselves. Admit it… can you even say to yourself that you love “you”?

I had an epiphany not too long ago. It seems silly to think that after almost twenty-eight years of providing mental health services that this notion only just recently arrived in my brain. I’ve spent countless hours talking to people about their chronic depression or anxiety, their ongoing and repeated bad (and sometimes abusive) relationships, their horrible self-esteem, their exhausting obsessive thoughts, their crippling body-image issues or concerns with over- or binge-eating, their immobilizing lack of assertiveness, their shattering hurt feelings, their relentless old habits, and so on. Whatever “broke” their spirit and souls, I was committed to helping them reclaim their lives. Throughout all of this work, if asked, I couldn’t even count the number of times I spoke to someone about self-love, itself.

My recent “ah ha” moment stopped me dead in my tracks. It dawned on me that every single concern or challenge a person struggles with throughout their experience of the human condition is related to a lack of self-love. And I mean EVERY single concern. Give that some thought…. What does everyone want most? To be loved and accepted. What do we lack the most within ourselves? Yep!… Love and acceptance.

After realizing this, I also realized that each emotional struggle or wound that exists stems directly from the fact that a person doesn’t love themselves. For over ten years, my mission has been to teach others about Soul Health, with the main concept pointing to our willingness to align the ten branches of the human condition with our souls in order to experience what I call “radiant living”. But can we really align our lives without self-love? Can we really sustain change and foster growth and evolution without accepting ourselves? The answer is a definitive “no”.

Research, in many ways, indicates that self-love enhances our overall health. Not only do studies show that self-acceptance improves satisfaction with life, they also show that self-compassion provides the motivation we need in order to change our lifestyle and maintain healthy behaviors such as getting regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, and even success with smoking cessation. Other research indicates that self-compassion and acceptance reduces stress and can prevent procrastination because it helps us recognize the downside of an unhealthy behavior before we engage in something we might regret.

A study in the journal of Psychological Science confirmed that self-love can also help us to deal with adversity, showing that divorced individuals who spoke compassionately toward themselves were more able to recover from the separation than those who spoke with self-criticism. Reading this research and pondering my work with clients helped me refocus on the importance of self-love as a person evolves. But an even bigger awareness shifted my approach to both working with clients and working my way through my own concerns within the human condition. Humor me for a moment….

Why do we repeat old patterns? Because we haven’t evolved beyond them. Why haven’t we evolved beyond them? Because we haven’t learned to—or are willing to love ourselves enough to do so. So, if you wonder why your life is in a vicious and unhealthy cycle, perhaps it is time to work on self-love.
For those who believe in reincarnation—the rebirth of a soul in a new body for the purpose of evolution—the concept of self-love also answers why our soul comes back for another round. You might want to consider your unfinished business or karma as a sign that your soul is missing out on a little (or a lot) of self-compassion. If we repeat old patterns because of a lack of self-love, it makes sense that on a bigger scale, we also repeat lives because we haven’t figured out that love has something to do with it… self-love, that is.

For you Beatles fans out there, I’m sorry to say that they forgot a verse to their song, “All You Need is Love”. The remake will have to include the key to the Universe—that self-love is the answer to all of life’s challenges. If you want to evolve beyond your old stuff, then get to work on loving yourself at least a little bit more today.

As you likely know by now, I’m a bit stuck on the word “evolution”. Even as a young child, I was almost obsessed with how things grew and couldn’t get enough of Darwin’s theory of evolution. My mother humored me with these passions, allowing me to grow carrots in a wheelbarrow that she dubbed as my personal garden. “Specimens” from my prized crop (carrots that were about 2 inches long….) remained in the freezer until they could no longer manage the elements.

I will never tire of talking about evolution. While I’ve moved on from growing miniature produce, I will forever immerse myself in learning new ways to help others expand their souls to their highest potential.

Conscious evolution is just that—becoming and remaining conscious of how we can best grow, then taking action to make change a reality. While scientists say that the human body has evolved about as much as it is going to, our soul’s evolution is infinite. What does this mean for you and I? It means that, if desired, we can continue to grow beyond our everyday challenges so that we thrive throughout every moment of life. By aligning our lives with the needs of our soul, we can reach radiant living—or at least create a much more joyful and content experience of the human condition.

Evolution is a process. It requires patience, perseverance, and commitment. That’s why I can’t provide an answer when clients ask me how long it will take to complete therapy. For those who believe in reincarnation, as will be discussed in future newsletters, evolution of the soul is clearly an ongoing development. We are presented with lessons throughout each lifetime to help us learn and evolve, sometimes repeating patterns until we outgrow certain circumstances or dynamics. In the case of this lifetime, our evolution is still up to us.

As cliché as it might sound, awareness really is the first step. If there is something that you want to outgrow, whether it be an unhealthy habit, an old relationship pattern, or a thought or feeling that no longer serves you, we must first become aware of this imperfection, identify any obstacles to change, then take steps to get our evolution underway.

My Soul Health Model provides the blueprint to radiant living, but remember that evolution is a slow process that requires us to make a conscious commitment to our infinite growth.

As a gift to you, I invite you to sit back, relax, and take yourself on a journey to your soul’s evolution by watching the visual meditation offered below. Allow yourself to gently explore the growth you have already witnessed, as well as ponder the change that is yet to come. I hope you enjoy your journey— feel free to forward this meditation to anyone you know who also needs a gentle nudge on their path to evolution.

You might remember that I urge folks to set a “theme” each year for what they want to work on in order to further their soul health and also enhance their soul’s evolution. Your theme might be something like “to be more authentic”, or “to practice self-love”. Themes allow us to anchor our growth on an idea or trait that we want to “weave” into the tapestry of who we are, while also providing us with infinite opportunities to do so.

For those who want to take their theme to a deeper level, you might want to consider writing a personal Soul Mission Statement of your intention to act as a good steward to your soul.

A mission statement is a timeless definition of a) who you are, b) your main purpose or goal, c) your core values, d) your reason for existence, and e) your mission, or task you aim to fulfill. It may seem odd or cumbersome to write a mission statement to your soul, but the act of creating one is another exercise in knowing yourself ever more deeply. In carefully and consciously crafting your statement, you come to know exactly what you are striving for and whom you are serving at all times; it is the ultimate commitment to your soul and your evolution.

As I wrote Soul Health, I constructed my own mission statement to read as follows:

I am a vehicle of consciousness whose mission is to elevate others to reach radiant health and ultimate soul evolution. I strive to educate others to thrive in life while also serving as an ongoing role model in seeking and maintaining my own optimal soul health. I see life as a healing journey, one which is available to all souls, most of all one’s own, but one which is always subject to the curiosities and challenges of the human condition. I am committed to my own soul health, growth, and evolution both for myself and for the souls that I am fortunate enough to serve.

Although the first sentence of this mission statement sums up my love of helping others, it is the commitment to my soul that allows me to do this. It also allows me to anchor each year’s theme on a concept that will reinforce my overall mission. Once you recognize what your mission statement is, it shapes your entire tree of life in service of soul health. Finding your mission in life often takes time, but in many cases you are already fulfilling this mission, you just don’t know it. This may seem like an overwhelming task, but when you break it down to define each of the aspects noted above, you can connect them to complete a statement about your overall life purpose. Writing my own statement served to not only clarify what I’m all about, but also to instruct me each year about how to set my theme to better complete my mission.

Take some time now to develop your Soul Mission Statement, based on what you know of yourself at this point. Keep in mind that although mission statements are meant to be timeless, you will likely change and refine yours as you get to know yourself and your soul better over time. Your evolution is a lifelong process, but keeping your statement in mind will help you balance the branches of your tree of life, stay aligned with your soul health, and set your yearly theme for soul’s growth.

Stewardship to your soul is a never-ending process. Although it takes time to reach radiant soul health, daily soul stewardship is what allows you to get there. By committing to your soul, you are ensuring your growth and evolution. Your Soul Mission Statement will set the stage for doing this throughout your life.

(Taken from Chapter 12 of Soul Health: Aligning with Spirit for Radiant Living)

To share laughter is to connect with Soul. ~~ Alison Stormwolf

Play is a great way to connect with others. Laughing and having fun not only helps us to bond more deeply with other people, but also to enter a deeper understanding and connection with our own soul. Laughter unlocks our resistance and releases inhibitions, thus opening us to close connections that might not arise without this mutual joy.

The soul craves connection. It wants to be understood, heard, and embraced by those who can appreciate and honor it—oneself, especially, but close family and friends as well. Only then can the soul itself play. It wants the freedom to revel in whatever elicits its joy, experiencing every aspect of fun and elation that life has to offer. However, as we all know, there are times when life could not offer less fun. Those are the times when a playful connection with our own soul and others’ is most distant, yet most vital.

Just like any playground, the human condition can create bumps and bruises amidst the fun and laughter. Yet even in the worst of times, it is often our ability to see the humor in our situation that allows us to muddle through it. Finding joy in the midst of darkness allows us to soften the impact of life’s challenges and open us to the possibilities that something good could come from our pain. The key is to understand yourself well enough to know when you need a good dose of fun, or when laughter will be your own best medicine.

Exercise

What is fun to you? Stop right now, and list ten things that you do or could do on a regular basis that would be fun. How difficult is it to create this list? Who do you have the most fun with in your life? How often do you spend time with these people? Who would you invite into your personal playground if you could?

What relaxes you? Stop, and list ten leisure activities that you do on a regular basis. How difficult is it to create this list? Who do you relax with the most? How often do you take time to relax with those who make it easy for you to do so?

Answering these questions will help you to create your soul’s playground. By identifying what and who helps you strengthen your recreational branch of health, and by committing to doing what enhances it, you will give your soul reason to sing. You will also enhance its evolution.

No one can deny that they feel the most radiant and alive when they have had a good dose of pure fun. Our driven culture often dismisses and even denies how important simple joy is to our health, yet the lack of it drives many of our vices and unhealthy behaviors. The reality is, if we tuned into our inner joy more often—regardless of our daily struggles— our soul health would be much brighter. Instead, we keep losing sight of the inner light and are frantically searching for other ways to soothe our discomfort.

(Taken from Chapter 4 of Soul Health: Aligning with Spirit for Radiant Living)

Reaching radical consciousness of emotions means you are mastering the language of your soul. You have earned your advanced degree in understanding the human condition and consciously committing to your evolution. Strangely enough, once you get the hang of it, the work not only becomes easier, but also more light-hearted and amusing along the way. You learn to laugh with your soul each time you see that you are reacting to your old habits of the human condition. You give yourself a break and move through difficult emotions much more quickly and easily.

Which do you want—to heal a wound or to evolve beyond it? Even the question elicits a radiant response! There is something inexplicably exciting about feeling like you can outgrow your old skin. There is an energy behind it—a momentum—that once begun doesn’t want to stop. This is the soul’s radiance urging you toward your evolution.

Emotions carry energy. And because everything around us consists of energy at the most basic level, it stands to reason that we are most attracted to things that make us feel light. Moths to a flame are drawn to an external light they seek as their own, and die in the pursuit of reaching it. We, however, are able to pursue our inner light, and our emotions are nothing more than a signal pointing the way to find it. But unfortunately, we get mired in the human condition and buried in our emotions instead of using them to find and return to our inner radiance. We all know people who emit a simple yet desirable brightness or light. Much like the moth, we are instinctively drawn to these individuals and want to catch a bit of what they seem to have and that which we seem to lack. This light is for our taking, but we must find it within ourselves.

In essence, we are all beings of light.We are meant to emit brighter and brighter radiance if we allow ourselves. This happens only if we evolve, and we evolve only if we use the voice of our soul to do so. If we do not, our lights dim and we just fizzle out. There is no more light and no sign of growth.

(Taken from Chapter 1 of Soul Health: Aligning With Spirit for Radiant Living)

All the evolution we know of proceeds from the vague to the definite. ~ Charles Sanders Peirce

Numerous studies illustrate the importance of spiritual and religious beliefs in recovering from various health problems. But little is written concerning how our soul interacts with—or inspires—our well-being to create overall wholeness. Even less is written about our soul’s most natural state—its evolution.

In working with thousands of clients and workshop attendees, I have come to believe that there is a complex interplay between our overall well-being and the inspiration of our soul. This interplay represents the interaction between our ways of dealing with the human condition (the everyday struggles we encounter and our reactions to them) and our deepest and wisest core. Without an understanding of this complex interplay, not only do our human lives remain unbalanced, but our souls simply cannot fully evolve.

Unlike general wellness models, the Soul Health Model emphasizes the complex and key interplay between our human condition and our soul, not just a basic approach to life balance. Because our soul’s evolution is dependent on both our life balance and a conscious awareness of our soul’s influence, it is the combination of these forces that is unique to this model.

In the Soul Health Model, the soul is depicted as the life force within an ever-evolving tree. Much like the growth of an actual tree, which depends on sunlight, clean water, and air, our soul’s evolution depends on the health of the elements available to it and only thrives when the essentials of our existence are balanced and fulfilled. In the model, these elements represent the various aspects of our human condition—the health of our everyday life. Therefore, in order for an individual’s soul to reach unimpeded growth, the individual must consciously maintain this healthy balance. This is not an easy feat given how persistently the issues of daily life get in the way. When we are overwhelmed, it is less and less likely that we will hear our soul. However, it is through physical, emotional, and other forms of dis-ease or lack of contentedness that our soul attempts to get our attention—to inspire us—in order to bring us back into balance and restore a sense of overall wholeness. Only then can our soul continue to evolve.

(Taken from Chapter 5 of Soul Health: Aligning with Spirit for Radiant Living)

We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth. ~~ George Bernard Shaw

Humans are pack animals—we are meant to be with people. No matter how “independent” we think we are, we still depend on those around us for at least some things, and we obviously wouldn’t have been brought into the world without the help of others. In most cases we could not survive, let alone thrive without the help of parents or other caregivers, teachers, friends, neighbors, pets, and others. What makes the world go around is our connection with others and the sense of community we receive through these interactions.

All of our relationships can have a direct impact on soul health. If I were to guess, I’d say nearly 90 percent of people come to therapy because of their relationships with others in their lives. Depression, anxiety, grief, adjustment, low self-esteem, job stress, body image, weight-related concerns, physical injuries, traumatic events, anger management, abuse, and even some ongoing physical health concerns can be attributed to either present-day interactions with others or to the ideas, values, or beliefs we were taught as children.

The social branch of soul health encompasses all the relationships we have in our lives. This chapter discusses the many types of connections we have with other people, not only those close to us, but also others we may see less frequently—store clerks, dry cleaners, mail carriers, receptionists, pharmacists, manicurists, massage therapists, hair stylists, and even coffee baristas. Many people, including me, also consider pets and other animals to be significant contributors to our overall social health. No matter how connected we are to those who appear regularly in our lives, they are all part of our personal flock.