The quote has become abbreviated to “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” and that shortened version has become part of common parlance in most English speaking places. This version is typically assumed to be understood as

“I’m not perfect, but if you can’t get past that, you’ll miss out on what makes me great.”

and I reckon that’s a fair and reasonable sentiment to express.

Warping the message

The problem is, that’s doesn’t seem to be what the people who are using this quote actually mean. So what message are the people who utter this quote actually trying to get across? My interpretation is that, usually, they’re saying:

“It’s not my fault if you can’t put up with how inappropriately I sometimes act. Get used to it or go away.”

That sentiment is not so reasonable to me.

Clearly, whoever put this eCard together is taking a different meaning as well:

The way I see it, everyone has their issues. Some more than others, and often that’s completely out of people’s control. There’s nothing wrong with having issues but there is a big problem when you choose to allow yourself to act inappropriately because of them.

Snap back to reality

I prefer this take on Marilyn’s quote:

At least it’s self-aware.

Woah, woah, woah!

But as I mentioned, there are many people making use of this quote to excuse themselves for their shitty behaviour. How’s this one?

As I always say, a man should never hit a woman, but also, a woman should never hit a man, or throw glassware at his head. I think we all agree that the man referenced in the quote shouldn’t hit the woman, but the question that comes to mind is… why the fuck was she throwing glassware at his head? Moreover, how the fuck has she convinced herself that the glassware throwing aspect of this scenario is not at least a part of the problem?

Your thoughts, Fresh Prince?

In the words of the great thinker, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:

You’re being sexist!

In an effort to avoid being too male-centric with my thinking, here’s what Cate Gary has to say on the matter.

Cate makes some damned good points.

Firstly, just because you have good points, that doesn’t necessarily outweigh your bad points. Your bad points may be so horrible that you couldn’t justify them even if you were busy curing cancer the rest of the time. There are limits! I’m sure Hitler had some good points too, but they didn’t tally up against his whole “trying to exterminate entire races” thing, now did they?

Secondly, Marilyn was unbelievably sexy, but that’s pretty much all you ever hear about her. We don’t reflect on Marylin Monroe as a great mind of our time. In fact, you could argue that she is the original bimbo. While sex appeal has its own value, let’s face it… it’s 90% inherited through genetics. The reason we’ve all heard of her and seen pictures of her is because she had a fantastic body and a beautiful face, and she knew how to move in a seductive manner. No doubt she worked hard to keep her figure and to star in enough films to get her name so well known, but if she wasn’t blessed with her good looks I don’t think we would ever have heard of her.

In her own words

Check out this interview with Marilyn Monroe and make up your own mind.

So there’s not a lot about Marilyn that suggests that she’s a great role model for success. As Cate Gary mentioned above, it’s rather the opposite. No matter how you look at it, she had access to everything a person could want, but she wasn’t around long enough to enjoy it.

Here’s what she had to say when asked if she was happy:

“I’m genuinely miserable” – Marilyn Monroe.

Now, I don’t want to bag out Marilyn Monroe here, because the more footage of her I watch, the closer I get to falling in love with this long gone starlet, but it’s certainly clear that she wasn’t happy, especially at the end of her life, and that she would have preferred to be in a different situation. Perhaps, if she had addressed some of her self-confessed bad points, and not relied on people being willing to handle her, things might have ended differently.

Back to that quote

You don’t have to be at your best all the time, and it is fair to expect those who care about you to be understanding of your flaws and how you act when things get too much, but don’t go getting confused into thinking that they should put up with whatever you want to throw at them because you’re just so friggin amazing on your good days.

You have a responsibility to handle yourself and to remember that the people who love you shouldn’t have to put up with you treating them like shit just because that’s what you feel like doing at that moment in time. Instead of throwing glassware at your significant other, speak to a psychiatrist about why you get so worked up that you even want to throw glassware at your significant other!

Remember, even Marilyn Monroe ran into guys who wouldn’t put up with her shit.

Crazy bitch tip: Learn to handle yourself before you go expecting anyone else to put up with your bullshit.

Side note

The life of Marilyn Monroe is very interesting, and ultimately, a sad reminder that things aren’t always beautiful for the beautiful people. Check out this film about who miss Norma Jeane really was underneath.

What a shame to lose such an interesting person just because she had such a hot body.