So last weekend I ate lots of food, saw tons of relatives, and reflected on things that have happened for me between Thanksgiving 2013 and Thanksgiving 2014.

Like 2 super-exciting gigs, for example. I got to escape winter by singing in Dubai for 6 months, then I came home for the summer and filmed my first movie role playing the young Missy Elliott in Lifetime’s Aaliyah: Princess of R&B.

Of course there’s a silver lining in every cloud and a cloud for every silver lining. The Dubai experience was awesome, but being away from family and friends for that long can be tough. Playing the part of a pop culture icon in this major project is my biggest booking so far, but it didn’t come without a certain amount of . . . let’s call it . . . character-building. =)

Now this post isn’t going to count, characterize or rehash any negative comments from the world of social media. (Although I offer a sincere “Thank You” to all those who took the time to send me encouraging messages; more than I expected! Bless up.) Nope, I’m writing this to share something that helped me keep my head up when it would have been easier to get angry or defensive or sad.

Let’s take it back to high school for a minute. As a tenth-grader at Thornhill Secondary, I had my first taste of graphic design in a course which I think was called Computer Sciences, and one project really stuck with me. Our teacher instructed each of us to Photoshop our face onto the cover of a popular magazine.

I loved the idea, and I scanned a hard copy of VIBE that I’d bought on a recent trip to the States (it was hard to find in Canada at the time).

I’d never heard of a vision board or a dream board back then, but I kept a copy of this assignment. And I almost forgot about it until years later when the “controversy” arose about me portraying Missy Elliott. You cannot imagine how encouraging it was to find that 12-year-old piece of paper and hold it in my hand. It taught me 3 really important lessons.

1. THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS

Me designing this made-up cover, and keeping it, was my way of saying to God and the universe (long before I learned about the law of intention or self-fulfilling prophecies or anything like that) that I wanted fame and fortune and photographers. I still want to be a cover girl; I would love to do so in the world of music, but if it comes about through acting or some other form of expression, I’m fine with that as well. This taught me that making and using vision/dream boards is incredibly powerful as long as you’re putting the work in too. Mind what you wish for, because if you think it enough times, you’ll end up with it somehow.

2. NEVER GIVE UP

Notice, the time lapse between my magazine assignment and the headlines for this casting was 12 years. I originally thought I’d have a record deal around the time I finished high school — HA! It would have been so easy for me to trash this printout when I realized I was headed to university instead of being the next teen pop music queen, or any of the times I auditioned/applied/submitted for a role/gig/deal and didn’t get it. Now I understand that years or even decades can go by, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get what you’re going for. It might just mean you haven’t grown enough, or learned enough, or sacrificed enough yet.

Let’s say you set your ultimate goal 20 years ago and you’re not there yet. I don’t know when you’ll make it, but if you give up, I know you won’t ever make it. And it might be right around the corner. So keep going.

3. GOD HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR

To be honest, my choosing that cover was a matter of convenience; it had nothing to do with Missy herself. Of course I’m a longtime fan; the woman is a legend! But it ended up as my backdrop simply because we were told to choose our favourite magazine (mine was definitely VIBE) and that was the hard copy I had to scan. Of course, the funny plot twist is that I went from replacing Missy’s face with my own to being the face of Missy in the movie. So the timeline looks like this:

June 2002 – I declare “I’m going to be on the cover of VIBE one day” by inserting my face onto VIBE’s cover and changing up the headlines to reflect my own interests and wishes.

Summer 2009 – VIBE goes out of print. I mope about my lost opportunity. Even the magazine’s later resurrection and reincarnations don’t make me feel much better. I sulk, but I keep working (duh).

June 2014 – I audition for and land the role of Missy Elliott in Lifetime’s biopic Aaliyah: Princess of R&B, and I keep an eye on social media as people speculate about the movie and about who will be playing the lead role. The majority of what I read confirms my suspicion that the public will be vocal about any casting choices they don’t like.

August 2014 – BlackFilm.com publishes a piece about the movie’s cast, announcing that I’m playing Missy. Figuring the cat’s out of the bag, I confirm via Facebook (where a bunch of people who know me are full of congratulations) and Twitter (where a bunch of people who don’t know me are full of something else). Remembering my 2002 DIY mag cover, I remind myself that I earned this role and that my job is to get up, dress up, show up, and play the part. I have an incredible time, working with amazing people — love and respect to Izaak, Alex, AJ, James, Brad, Etheline, Rose, Chris, Gisele, Joe, Michelle, Fast Eddie, and every single member of the cast and crew for making this experience as awesome as it was!

November 2014 – the movie comes out, and a new chapter begins.

I can’t wait to see what new things I’ll have to be grateful for by next Thanksgiving.

Wow. Wrote a screenplay last month and suddenly I find myself (with amazing teammates, thank goodness) producing and starring in a short film from it! We’re shooting next month.

Lesson: incredible things happen when you learn what to say “yes” and “no” to

Background info: with the support of my good friends Kerron Schullere, Sagine Semajuste, Jazz Testolini, and others, I wrote a screenplay in September and cast a bunch of my homies in it (including those three), with the intention of shooting the project next year when I come back from Dubai. Then some awesome things happened and even more amazing people appeared and a whole huge shower of encouragement and motivation and optimism fell out of the sky, and before I knew it we were on track to submit for a first-time filmmakers’ mentorship program this week, receive our yea/nay verdict next week, finish shooting by November 21st, and possibly/probably have our premiere in April 2014 at the ReelWorld Film Festival.

Awesome, right?!

Answers to tough questions were found, pathways were dug around and under and through obstacles, and this film was so close to becoming a reality that I was astonished. My reason for that Facebook post was the realization that saying “yes” to one possibility had bred even more possibilities, and aside from saying “no” to fear and doubt I was also saying “no” to other good things that I could be doing with the time and energy and resources already being invested into the film. After all, if I spend an hour itemizing the props needed for the shoot, that’s an hour that was not spent doing some other activity. That isn’t a noble sacrifice or a painful tradeoff; it’s the logical result of there only being 24 hours in a day.

Well, it’s a good thing I got used to this aspect of saying “no,” because just yesterday my main partner in crime Kerron and I decided to postpone the project. It isn’t dead, and really it isn’t even taking a nap — trust me, there’s still a whoooole lot of prep work to do! We decided, however, to say “no” to the upcoming deadline and how cool it would feel to say that it took only ten weeks to write, cast, rehearse, prep and shoot the whole thing. And in so doing, we’re saying “yes” to an even awesomer final product. (Yes, “awesomer” is a thing now. Trust me. You can start saying it too.)

So stay tuned! And feel free to share your own stories of saying no to something you wanted, and whether or not you ended up with something even better!!

We’ve all heard the phrase “you are what you eat,” right? Lately I find what I’m reading is showing up in my life way more than anything I’m eating is showing up in my appearance. And it’s really cool…

Example #1: This One’s Pretty Obvious.

After reading several books on managing money (authors like David Chilton, Gail Vaz-Oxlade, David Bach, Robert Kiyosaki, Dani Johnson, and George S Clason; also, listening to mp3s by T Harv Eker) I’ve begun making some serious positive changes in the ways that I handle my finances. I was pleasantly surprised that my piece on the dollars-per-use shopping rule was so well-received, but I never thought of myself as someone who others would ask for money advice from until very recently. Now maybe it’s not surprising to most of you that after I became more educated on a subject, evidence of that education began appearing in my life (I paid off one credit card this year and I’m on track to being debt-free by age 30, yay!), but read on…

Example #2: Now it Gets More Interesting!

I’m finding that biographies are impacting my daily life too, like when I read Kitty Carson’s biography on Oprah Winfrey this summer. I’m well-aware of Oprah-the-lifestyle-guru-and-media-mogul, but reading this book taught me a lot about Oprah-the-broadcaster-and-interviewer, and all of a sudden – seemingly out of nowhere – I was given the opportunity to do a live webcast interview ofDestra Garcia, during one of my best weeks in recent memory (which I also blogged about). I’m not under any illusion that I’m on Oprah’s level because of this one gig, but to have that experience with one of the biggest soca artists in the world sure made me feel I could do some pretty big, impressive, Oprahesque things!

A great live interview with DESTRA

Example: #3: From Interesting to Awesome.

Let’s talk about Dorothy Dandridge. I love her story and her image and her legacy so much that it’s on my list to do a blog piece just about her, but here’s a quick synopsis for those of you who don’t know the name and haven’t already left me to go Google her.

The beautiful, elegant Dorothy Dandridge

Dorothy Dandridge was an African-American singer and actress who rose above numerous personal tragedies and professional obstacles to become the first black person nominated for a Best Actress Academy Award (1954, for Carmen Jones). After the nomination, her career plateaued and then declined, and just as it seemed she was on the comeback trail again, she died of a drug overdose. She blazed a trail for hundreds of other performers, including Halle Berry who played Dandridge in the HBO movie Introducing Dorothy Dandridge and eventually became the first African-American to win the award for which Dorothy had made history by being nominated.

Here she is again! Just gorgeous.

So what does this have to do with me? I kid you not: things in my life have started to pop up which mirror things I’ve been reading about in her life. (I read Donald Bogle’s biography of her three times before returning it to the library this month, and did some online research too.) For one thing, the descriptions of the Dandridge Sisters (Dorothy, her sister Vivian, and their friend Etta Jones) harmonizing together and getting rave reviews definitely stuck with me because, as some of you know, deep down inside I would love to be part of a small singing group. Oooh, how exciting it must have been to sing with the big names of the time, like Nat King Cole or Jimmy Lunceford and his band. I would want to be the girl in the middle, like Dorothy was. And then what happened? Again seemingly out of nowhere, I was offered the chance to harmonize in a trio as backup for Lorne Morris, with several very talented musicians accompanying us… and guess who was in the middle?

L to R: Etta Jones, Dorothy Dandridge, Vivian Dandridge

L to R: Kelly Holiff, me, Kate Etienne, Lorne Morris (Gareth Parry is on guitar in the background, and the DOP Martin is behind Lorne with the Steadicam)

Another similarity that made itself evident was the acting connection. Dorothy always had her sights set on a career as a leading lady of the screen. I felt for much of this year that my own career was at a plateau, but while reading and rereading the biography, I found myself going to multiple acting auditions per week. (My Carmen Jones hasn’t come along yet, but hey, it didn’t happen overnight for Dorothy either!)

And finally, one of the most triumphant periods in Dorothy’s career was her travelling nightclub act – she sang and gave wonderful stage shows, which the audiences loved night after night, accompanied by talented pianists like Phil Moore (another African-American groundbreaker in the arts and entertainment scene). And wouldn’t you know it, last weekend I signed a contract to perform for two months at a resort in Dubai as part of a duo – the other performer being a talented piano player who also sings – whaaat?!? Awesome!

I’ll release more details on that gig later, and will most definitely be blogging from overseas. But all this to say, even more than what you watch on a screen or hear in your earbuds, I find that what you read in a book in your hands has a way of showing up in your life in ways you weren’t expecting. (Whether this also happens when you’re reading my blog, I have no clue lol – you’ll have to let me know!)

I’m hoping you’ll forgive me for being a bit tongue-in-cheek here. If that’s even the right phrase. Whatever!

Have you ever tried to communicate with a person who spoke the same language as you, but your backgrounds were so different you didn’t understand each other? That’s how I feel sometimes when I’m talking to someone who knows very little about auditions, onscreen or onstage productions, or the studio recording process.

The first barrier to communication here is that the other person is probably a regular enjoyer and consumer of entertainment. So when we start discussing the creation of music or TV or live shows, they often feel like they know what they’re talking about. They usually don’t.

The second barrier is that it’s damn near impossible for a performer/artist to be emotionally detached from their professional results. So my well-meaning friend might ask me about a recent shoot or tryout just out of curiosity, with no idea that he’s grating on my nerves because I’m still allowing myself to feel upset that I didn’t do well, or wondering when they’re going to announce who got the part, or whatever.

While this divide will never completely disappear, I thought I’d contribute a few tips to the “normal” folks out there to keep in mind when you’re interacting with someone like me. Here are three things NOT to ask your artist and/or performer friends …

“If I had a quarter for every time I heard that … I wouldn’t be a starving artist”

#1 – “How did the audition go?”

Right off the bat, let me say that artists will ask this of other artists all, the, time. This is because they understand the process firsthand, and it might even be a matter of comparing experiences auditioning for the same person or production. But if you aren’t an artist, it might be best to keep your mouth shut until your artist friend volunteers information about it.

You know how it feels when you’re job-hunting? Sometimes exciting or challenging, but more often frustrating and tiring? That’s how auditioning is, but with more of a personal buy-in and in some ways more pressure, and typically with less prep time. If I have just delivered my song and/or lines to strangers and interacted with them while continuously asking myself “Is this going well?” and you’re now asking me “Did you get it? … What do you mean, you don’t know? … Well, when will they tell you? … What do you mean, you don’t know?” … You’re not likely to get a smile from me. Not only am I (because I’m a tortured perfectionist) already knee-deep in self-admonishment about things I should have done differently; I’m also trying in vain to stop thinking about it because there’s no point rehashing anything that just happened and I’ve either got to focus on my next audition or focus on something else to distract me from the fact that I don’t have any other auditions lined up yet. Don’t worry. If the audition went well, you can trust me to tell you about it. (And even then, it’s best not to keep asking me whether I’ve heard back yet. Just try to do what I try to do and stop thinking about it.)

#2 – “Can I come with you next time?”

I get it. You think set life and studio life are glamorous and interesting. Sometimes that’s true! But I’d much rather you get your fix of celebrity (hahaha!) fun by doing something other than following me to work. The most obvious reason for this is that I want you to see a finished product, not the often-ugly process behind it. I don’t necessarily want you to hear the ugly process either — even I can’t stand listening to the playback from my takes in the recording booth half the time, so why would I share that dirty laundry with you?? The other reasons sound something like this …

One of my closest friends came with me to a recording session when we were in university. (Bless her heart! I think I invited her, back in the day before I knew better.) By the time we finally got home we had heard the friggin song five bazillion times and caught what sleep we could wrapped up in our coats on the dirty carpet of the studio. Sounds like fun, right? She wisely chose not to attend the video shoot for that song, which ended around 5am and was not nearly as fun as I’d hoped. Laughing at things that no one else found funny (like coffee being spilled on the equipment, and the video girls continually giving stinkeye to the camera and the singer) was all that kept me sane that night.

You know those behind-the-scenes features that let fans get a look at the creative process? Trust me; in most cases, you don’t want a closer look than that. If I feel it’s important to have you there because you’re part of the project, or the song is about you, or whatever, I will ask you to come in at a mutually convenient time. And if you choose to ignore this advice and pester me until you do end up on set or in the studio, don’t complain about how bored you are. I knew you’d be bored on set because I’ve spent hours being bored on set for you.

#3 – “Can you do this as a freebie?”

This is a big one. Your photographer friend, your cousin who plays in a jazz trio, your professional dancer girlfriend, and your uncle who does work on the radio probably all think very highly of you. But it puts them in an extremely uncomfortable position when you ask or expect them to do those things for you (or worse, for someone they don’t even know) without pay.

If a free or discounted service or product is offered by the artist, that’s one thing. That means they’ve already considered the financial loss, the potential gain, and the value of them offering that to you as a gift. And just like in non-artistic fields, if you don’t agree with the rate, you’re free to negotiate or look elsewhere. So know that this tip isn’t about those circumstances.

This tip is about assuming that because I love singing, I should sing at your event for free. After all, you love writing short stories, and one day you gave me one you wrote just for me and you never asked me for a penny. Here’s the thing — if your income is derived from your nine-to-five(s) and not from your short stories, your art is a hobby. Mine is a profession.

There are lots of other reasons to refuse these requests. Your uncle might belong to a union which has rules against him doing voice work for free. Your cousin has put more time and money than you are aware into their art (and so have the other musicians in that trio). Your girlfriend may be losing money just by attending your party instead of being paid to dance somewhere else that night. And if your friend’s pictures look good enough to capture your neighbour’s wedding, doesn’t he deserve compensation? So while we’re still new and learning, by all means, let’s talk discounted rates. But when we’ve reached the professional level, please respect that the same way you respect the work and rates of professionals in other areas. (While we’re on the subject, one of my singer friends recently told me that she’s singing for free at a family member’s wedding because her mom accepted the booking on her behalf. Do you know any doctors whose mothers arrange for them to do unpaid surgeries as a favour for someone else? Give me a break!)

Wow, this ended up being a long piece! But I hope this has helped some of my people … my talented, hardworking, often underappreciated, sometimes overly idealistic but nevertheless brave people … to be better understood by the normal population. =)

Yeah. I couldn’t stand it. I felt like I was always the student who did more than her share of work because someone had to overcompensate for the people who weren’t motivated by good grades or high achievement. (And for the record, no, good grades aren’t everything. But in school, they’re the main measuring tool. I was usually upset to receive anything lower than 90%.)

So any time the idea of singing in a group came up, I was quick to dismiss it. I grew up LOVING vocal groups like TLC and Boyz II Men, and still do, but I couldn’t picture myself as a member of a group. Chattrisse, in my mind, was a solo act. A one-woman success story. My African name at the time was Zenzele, which translates to “she will do it herself,” and I really wasn’t looking for any company onstage. Having to deal with multiple egos and personalities, running the risk of becoming a backup performer while the lead singer hogs the spotlight, and then having to split the paycheque between two or three or five people on top of all that??? No thanks.

I guess back then I still believed that you could do big, huge, world-shaking, record-breakingly awesome things on your own. And the further away I get from my school years and their haunting memories of “group” “work,” the more I realize that having a team not only makes most goals more easily attainable, it also lets you have way more fun along the way.

For example, I did a theatre tour earlier this year with two fellow cast members, and the energy we brought to the stage when all three of us were “on” was awesome. The backstage hijinks were also way more fun than if I were just noticing something funny with no one to share it with. And when one of us was feeling sick or extra tired, there were two other people there who could lend extra support. (Shoutout to Madeleine Jullian and Phil Poirier, I had a blast!)

Madeleine/Mollie, Chattrisse/Puppareena, Phil/Twitter – our last show

Have you ever danced a solo? I’m still slightly terrified of that (working on it). But dancing that same piece with two other performers feels wicked! And honestly, as a singer, one of the best sounds in the world is your voice harmonizing with other voices.

So while I haven’t completely changed my mind about being in a group … for example, I’m not seeking group members and if I were I would try to create something where all the performers share the spotlight, taking turns singing lead on different singles … I’m not totally opposed to it anymore. It might be fun. It might be a ton of fun. And if it doesn’t work out, leaving a group has been a great launch to a solo career for lots of people.

Oh, I almost forgot: the picture up top is of me, Taylor Evans and Jazz Testolini backstage at The Opera House. I adore singing with these two! I don’t know how long we’d last as a group though, lol! xoxo

So I’m noticing a trend here and I’m not mad at this at alllll: as the weather gets colder, my career heats up. Last fall I had a spree of auditions and bookings, and sure it’s still summer right now but that thermometer says fall is coming back real soon! Awesome things are happening. Here’s a page out of my dayplanner to prove that when it rains amazingness, it POURS…

Monday July 29: audition for an out-of-town singing gig.

Tuesday July 30: audition for a movie starring Whoopi Goldberg, and I made progress in my ongoing search for the right manager.

Wednesday July 31: had an awesome time on an awesome boat ride with old and new friends, and some extremely attractive new acquaintances (hey, all work and no play would make Chattrisse a dull girl); and I got asked to interview Destra, the queen of soca, for a live worldwide audience via Caribbean Connections TV.

Thursday, August 1: I launched my blog (yep, this one – yay!!) and the wonderful Lindsay Holung, a fellow Ryerson RTA grad, recorded me and the wonderful Hollywood Jade doing one of his routines from his Urbanesque class (footage coming soon, I hope).

Friday, August 2: I got to interview Destra, the queen of soca, for a live worldwide audience via Caribbean Connections TV (I’m still so excited! Again, footage coming soon, I hope, lol!).

A great live interview with DESTRA

Saturday, August 3: Caribana! Played mas in an absolutely gorgeous costume with Carnival Nationz (for pics and a summary of the day, read this).

Sunday, August 4: Surprise – guess who was the SUNshine Girl the day after the big parade! And then a huge fete to finish off the jump-up long weekend.

Published in the Sunday Sun – August 4 2013. “When she’s not jumping up, Chattrisse dreams big…” they even quoted my love for KES the Band!

Those of you in the world of musical theatre, or anywhere else where triple threats can be found, can probably guess what this post is about.

I love to dance; I have as long as I can remember; I’ve spent lots of money and lots of time taking dance classes and workshops, I’ve choreographed and taught others, and I even convinced my father that one night a week we should watch So You Think You Can Dance Canada instead of whatever sports channel he normally lives on. (In fact, as I post this, I’m packing up my heels for a dance class later tonight – if the video footage I get is any good, I’ll share it later!)

But when people ask me what I do, I usually say “I’m a performer” or “I write and sing” or “I’m a singer and actor” … or, if I’m in a chatty mood, “I write and sing and act and dance.” I never just say “I’m a dancer.” I would kind of feel like a fraud if I did.

For one thing, Dancer Chattrisse is a baby compared to Singer Chattrisse (started singing in public around age 6) and Actor Chattrisse (first took classes at age 8) and Writer Chattrisse (who was born at age 10, an outgrowth of Poet Chattrisse who came on the scene around the same time as Actor Chattrisse but faded into obscurity much sooner). I never took a dance class in my life until I was the ripe old age of 12, and I doubt I will ever be able to do the splits; kicks and pretty turns are still challenges for me, and it was an absolute shock to discover in 2009 that my male dance partners could lift me into the air. So dance is still the area on my resume in which I have the least experience, and therefore the least confidence.

Besides that, many of my dancer friends have been dancing since they were toddlers. Baby ballerinas are not only adorable; by the time they’re in their teens and twenties, people who have been dancing for that long (with adequate passion and proper instruction) are not to be messed with! So I have this tendency to shrink away from calling myself a dancer because to me, they are dancers.

The labels “singer who moves well” and “ strong mover” are more appropriate, as dorky as they look and sound. And I’m not saying I’ll never consider myself to be a dancer dancer, because since 2010 dance has been creeping back up my list of priorities and presenting itself as an activity that really does keep me sane. It also makes me feel liberated and sexy in a way that singing and acting don’t always do … though that may be because the styles I’ve been learning and teaching lately are almost exclusively burlesque-tinged or Caribbean. Many of my professional friends and acquaintances have been nice enough to show that they really appreciate my talent as a dancer, and if the dancer dancers are calling me a dancer, hey, I must be getting closer to the point where I am one.

For now, though, let’s not ask me to do any triple pirouettes; let’s hold off on even the double turns. Isn’t that what body doubles are for??