So, Terri, can you tell us in twenty words or less who you are and where your going with this writing stuff?

.

I am Mother and Wife Goddess of the universe

and I wish to make a million bucks with my writing hobby.

That was 21 words.

I think she has a problem counting. And Authors are supposed to be smart. Geesh.

Stop! Be nice!

.

I am being nice.

I didn’t disintegrate her, did I?

.

[Slaps head]

Okay ms. Rochenski. I’ve red you book, and I must say I find it deeply disturbing. Why would you write a book where they round up and entire race and enslave them?

Because it was inspired by events in my own life.

You’ve been stolen out of your house, chained and put on a boat,

and sent to prison for what you look like?

I was sort of speaking metaphorically.

Interesting.

So tell me, why do you think people should read this tragic tale?

Because I’m the Goddess of the universe

and have a lot to share.

.

Well, you may be the goddess of green-eyed pointy eared people, but you’re not MY goddess, Thumbelina. So, what’s with the chic on the cover?

That would be Hyla, the heroine of the Pool of Souls Series.

Does she have beautiful blue hair?

.

.

Blue? Beautiful?

PAAAAALEASE.

You watch it, toots.

Well, she must be hiding it because it’s NOT a beautiful blue.

She’s NOT hiding the color of her hair. It’s the pointy Native ears she’s uncomfortable revealing.

Okay, so what’s with those green eyes?

I don’t like green.

I like blue.

My hubs has blue. Love blue. Hyla’s along with all other Natives are green, a color no human on Derlund has.

Did you hear that? She’s married to a Martian. You have thusly redeemed yourself! So, tell me, does anything explode in this book?

Does a body count?

(It isn’t too gruesome. Promise.)

Oh! But gruesome is just lovely! I must say, this book intrigued me. I want to dip my foot in the pool and see what happens. Where is it, exactly?

I could tell you, but then I’d have to use my awesome goddess power to quiet you, and no one wants that.

Errghh. We’ll chat about that later.

For everyone else, why don’t you give a little low-down on what happens?

The body exploding? You’ll have to read the book to find out.

If you meant the book,

well then I’d have to say it’s about a young Native woman whose people are imprisoned for no apparent reason

and her journey to find out why and what she can do about it.

Oh Yes! Terri Rochenski gets the award for short and sweet! You don’t know how many authors come in here and read every word off the back of their book! Dreadfully boring. Your sexy Martian husband must be rubbing off on you. So, fess up. With a Martian in the house, you must be no stranger to things exploding.

I’ll keep this at a simple yes and plead the fifth on the why & how. Let’s just say it involved a shotgun and the side of our barn.

It’s about a boy named Jeremy who shepherds lost souls to the other side by helping them with their unfinished business. Except, this time, the ghost isn’t much interested in crossing over without hunting down the person responsible for their and someone else’s death.

Really? What happened to the stupid wandering soul thing? That actually sounds like it might be interesting. [Settled down on couch] Okay, maybe we can chat a bit.

Have you ever exploded anything?

Nope

.

.

Have you ever tried to take over the world?

Ew, no.

.

.

Have you ever painted your hair blue?

Pink is so much better a color.

.

.

Whaaaat?

How dare you insinuate pink is better than blue?

.

I didn’t insinuate.

I came right out and said it.

Pink has always been better than blue.

What? Huh? Grrr.

Redeem yourself Earthling!

How do you feel about space travel?

Space Mountain is awesome!

.

.

Space Moun…-Huh-

[smacks head]

Oaf! Have you even ever fantasized about exploding things?

I’m thinking about it right now.

.

.

Hey. Why are you looking at me like that?

Wait a minute.

I HAVE seen those beady eyes before.

Prove it! You know, you should really try the color pink.

Otherwise, you might as well call yourself the Blue Boy with Boobs.

.

It’s YOU! I know you! You are that Half-headed man author, aren’t you! Kastil Even-butt or something or other.

You are hiding! Hiding behind a cover with a whole man on it… And a few cats.

Well, yes, but you said you liked my book, right?

I put a whole person on the cover for you… changed my name and everything!

.

Oh, you think that changes things?

I remember everything!

Blue Boy with Boobs Huh? I’ll show you!

.

[As the sub-atomic particle weapon discharges, Joyce pulls out an umbrella and ducks beneath it. Lasers rebound off the surface and scatter across the room. Holes burn into the walls. The couch catches on fire. Yeah, general mayhem.]

[Joyce pokes her head out from beneath the umbrella]

You’ll show me what?

Ha! I came prepared this time.

No blowing me up, thank you very much.

Little Blue Lady!

I’m home!

Gack! What happened to my living room?

If you’d like to learn more about Joyce Mangola check her out on her website http://joycemangola.wordpress.com/ And if anyone knows a good contractor… I need a new living room.

While I’m chasing after the Little Blue Lady with a repair bill, comment below for a chance to win “Ghosts in the Mirror”.

I’m looking forward to reading this myself. I LOVED the first book in the series.

What’s up with you?

You look paler than a Martian sub-terrain turtle.

.

Right now,

I’m rather frightened

and want to get through this interview in one piece.

Why are you frightened?

We haven’t even started talking yet.

.

Your reputation for blowing things up precedes you, and there’s a rumour a few authors have gone missing after appearing on this blog.

Hmmm.

An author who does her research.

You are wise to be wary, Earthling!

Yes, Ma’am.

[Gulp]

.

So, you think you’ve written quite the little novel, I hear. I should be out blowing things up, not wasting valuable time reading.

Why is YOUR BOOK good enough for me to consider reading?

I’m not sure anything I write is ever good enough, but “Remember Me” comes pretty close.

All things that receive care and attention turn out well. This story has been received plenty of both.

Well, you haven’t said anything to peak my interest yet.

Why would anyone want to read this thing?

.

Because it’s a fast-paced YA fantasy thriller with an innocent yet determined heroine, a hot (bare-chested) love interest, and a mystery that will keep you guessing until the final few pages.

Bare chested? Well, I guess if he’s hot he had to take his shirt off.

Odd customs you humans have.

So what’s the explosion count? I need explosions.

Um, ahh,

well,

you see…

Spit it out!

Does anything explode or what??

.

Um…no! But, there’s a gruesome torture scene with plenty of blood.

Does that earn me any kudos?

Blood! I don’t like blood.

It’s red. And I don’t like red. That’s why I explode things. It zaps everything into little tiny non-bloody pieces.

Um…okay.

**edges closer the exit**

.

You better start working it Miss Scardy Cat.

What, exactly is this book about?

.

Well, the blurb goes something like this:Sera isn’t living. She’s existing—barely. Bedbound by illness, she has no memory of life before the freezing barn she now calls home. A mournful song haunts her dreams and hints at a past not completely buried—one she’s desperate to uncover. Yet Father’s whirlwind visits to draw blood and administer medication don’t provide answers. He only confirms the one thing she already knows; she’s dying.

A lonely death without ever knowing her past seems inevitable until a sudden, mystifying return to health coincides with the arrival of a boy in the opposite out-building. The inextricable pull to the stranger, and the broken memories that storm her mind when he’s near, warn of a history quite different to any she could have imagined. If she’s to uncover the truth she craves, she’ll have to decide whether knowledge of the past is worth forfeiting her second chance at life.

That doesn’t sound faced-paced at all.

It sounds like people lying around doing nothing all day.

.

Although I’m sure Sera longs for her bed at times throughout the story, I don’t let her rest. In fact, I put all the characters through the wringer. No lying around allowed!

Oh, a wringer?

Well that sounds delightfully gastly.

.

It is! Mwa ha ha

**evil laugh**.

.

Okay, so… what’s with that cover?

She looks like she’s frozen. Frozen and asleep.

I don’t get it.

I kinda like that you’re a bit confused about the imagery. But you’re right. She does look frozen and asleep–almost dead. The cover mirrors the story so perfectly it makes my breath hitch every time I think about it.

You are a sad, strange little Earthling. You know that?

So, tell me, Miss Scardy cat with Hitched Breath…

have you ever exploded anything?

I’m ashamed to say, I unintentionally explode food in the microwave.

It happens so regularly my husband bought me a special plate cover so I don’t have to spend hours cleaning up the mess.

That doesn’t count! Even annoyingly prudish Jennifer M. Eaton does that. There’s nothing monomaniacal about microwave accidents. There has to be something interesting about you.

By any chance, have you ever painted your hair blue?

Yes!

During my teens and early twenties, I dyed my hair nearly every colour under the sun—including bright blue.

It looked pretty cool, too!

[Shakes her head]

What am I supposed to do with you?

I don’t know,

but whatever it is,

please make it not hurt!

You are too pitiful to explode.

.

.

Oh, thank goodness.

So can I give away my book?

.

I’m still not sure your book is good enough.

.

.

How about if I throw in a chance to win a $20 gift card?

.

.

$20 huh? Hmmm.

Apparently I can be bought.

Okay… I’ll let you go. THIS TIME.

Yay!

Okay, I’m going to run for my life before she changes her mind, but before I go, please click on over to my Rafflecopter giveaway for a chance to win a $20 gift-card and e-copy of Remember Me

I can’t tell you what or who without spoiling the story, so you’ll have to read it yourself for the big kaboom.

Okay, I’m actually excited about this.

Tell me more.

Pleeeeese?

Rise of the Magi is the third and last leg of Lila Gray’s journey. She grew up thinking she was human even though she’s a fae designed by the hard knocks of her life to become the weapon that will keep mankind from receiving their pink slips. In this last book, Lila has grown into her leadership role and is faced with relationship, baby, and cannibalistic tree issues, along with discovering her place in an ancient prophecy. And the villain in this book is a nasty piece of work, too. I’m quite proud of that.

Explosions ANNNNDDD Cannibalistic Trees? Oh! What fun!

You sound like my kind of gal.

Have you ever exploded anything, just for fun?

My brother and I used to blow up crickets with firecrackers when I was little because they’re bloody annoying, does that count?

Oh! Those little chirping things? Hmmm. Never thought of exploding something smaller than me, but they ARE annoying.

I like to take over worlds on my spare time. Would you like to join me?

Well, I don’t know. I tried to snatch the moon once, but my cardboard box shuttle had a malfunction and dumped me on my arse. I’ve settled for conquering my hammock in the back yard instead.

Okay, fun but not smart.

You need to coat the cardboard with space polymers to get out of the atmosphere, silly.

Ohhhhhh. SO that’s what I did wrong.

I love your hair by the way.

.

You do?

Thanks.

I’ve never had blue hair, but lots of other colors. I have painted my husband’s hair blue, once. A blue Mohawk to be exact.

Oh! He must have looked absolutely Martianly!

I bet he looked hawt!

.

It was definitely different.

.

You know what?

Why don’t you hang out and stay a while.

Would you like some dessert?

Sure.

.

Umm, Little Blue Lady, all I have is Strawberry Cheese Cake.

You’re allergic to red stuff, remember?

Shoot. Bummer.

Hey, Jocelyn Adams.

How about you tell me what it tastes like.

Oh Oh. [Snickers]

Show don’t tell, Jocelyn.

[Clears her throat and takes a bite]

I slide my spoon into white, creamy goodness, making sure to nick a little of the fresh strawberry sauce and whipped cream, and bring it to my mouth. The richness of the cream cheese and sweetness of the berries slide across my tongue, and I moan as I lick the spoon clean of every last speck before diving in again.

Wow! Scrape those strawberries off, because I want a bite.

Thumbs up for Jocelyn Adams!

Yes!

Does that mean I can give away a copy of my book?

Not only that.

How about one copy of Rise of the Magi, and all commenters get a chance to win ALL THREE BOOKS?

.

That’s a great idea. How about I make the three books paperback, and I’ll sign them?

Oh! You are just delectable!

Now, let’s go coat that cardboard box over there with space polymers and I’ll show you how to properly get to the moon.

There you have it! One e-book copy of Rise of the Magi for a lucky commenter, and a chance to win the entire Lila Gray trilogy paperbacks signed by Jocelyn Adams. Let’s get commenting!

So, Emi, I know this is book two of a series. How hard is it to know that you’ve gotten it just right, and book two is good enough to follow book one?

An author never thinks her book is good enough, but sometimes, it’s time to let go and let the public have the story. I love the story, I love Mac and Winn, so now it’s time to share what’s been in my head.

Lame Response! Sounds like one of those lovey-dovey books.

Why would anyone want to read it?

Because it has a hot guy on the cover. Or a nerdy one.

Either way, *I* think he’s hot.

Well, I’ll give you kudos that he at least has a head.

I hate novels with headless men.

What?

.

Don’t ask.

.

.

Okay…

.

I’ll be deciding if it is okay or mot MISSY.

Does anything explode?

Only my head when someone compliments my book.

.

[turns to Jennifer]

She has an exploding-reappearing head?

.

Could be. You never know.

I have an alien on my table doing author interviews.

You never know what the stink is going to happen on this blog.

Hmm.

Okay Missy too-tall with an exploding head.

Tell me what this book is about.

I’m going to give you the blurb because honestly, it’s the best way to describe Winn’s side of things …

Or so Winn Thomas always thought. Since being accepted into the fold of the supernatural, he knows better. None of what he imagined is true, but everything he feared is, and binding himself to his Changeling girlfriend until her nineteenth birthday will give him an education far beyond what he’d get at his human high school.

Luckily, Winn’s not giving up, he won’t back down, and he definitely isn’t going to run away with his tail between his legs. After all, only werewolves have tails. Right? In this, the second of the 19th Year trilogy, Winn’s facing the challenge of one lifetime. If he doesn’t learn the truth about mythological creatures, his girlfriend Mac Thorne won’t either. That means, in six months, when she chooses her final form, she won’t know what to pick. Winn, though, has his own ideas about Mac’s final selection—plans she knows nothing of. He intends to have her pick human.

Hmmmm.

.

Well?

What do you think?

I think I’m angry,

Because I actually want to read this.

You do?

Yesssssss!

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Miss Too Tall and Exploding.

Let’s be real. Has your head actually ever exploded?

Well, no

But…

I thought Not.

Have you even ever tried to explode anything?

No.

That sounds dangerous, I…

Silence,

Too Tall!

Have you ever tried to take over the world?

Did she just get bigger?

.

Yes.

Answer quick!

She’s getting mad!

Umm… ummmm… Yes! I have already taken over the world. Don’t you know that?

What, you haven’t heard about me? Where have you been ~ in outer space? Everybody has heard about the Rock Star Romance Trilogy, and today, I want to shout about the release of the second book, Sophie’s Run.

Oh, and I’m here to give away two e-books.

You want to give away TWO books? Getting pretty high and mighty there, aren’t you? You need to get through me before anything gets given to anyone. You hear?

Umm, Okay.

Well, what do I have to do?

Convince me your sappy Earthling book

is good enough for people to read.

LOL, where to start? Put simply, my brand of romance rocks your world. You’ll feel the tremors even if you happen to be stuck in outer space. Yeah, Little Blue Lady, just like you… Sophie’s Run has glitz, glamour, intrigue, romance, betrayal, travel and lots of food, not to mention a gorgeous rock star and a dashing male nurse. I mean, come on ~ what more do you want?

You think I have glitz and glamour?

Really?

Okay, so tell me more, what would make someone want to read this little ditty?

With all the above ingredients, why wouldn’t they? But if you want the official sales spiel… well, if you like rock music, celebrities, romance and happy endings, then Sophie’s Run is a must-read. If you’ve ever dreamed of doing something completely crazy with your life, then Sophie’s Run is a must read.

Hmmm. I like music, but if I haven’t read Sophie’s Turn,

would I want to read Sophie’s Run?

Obviously if you’ve already read Sophie’s Turn, you will want to find out what happens next. I should say that you don’t have to have read Sophie’s Turn to enjoy Sophie’s Run! While it is the second book in a Trilogy, and can totally and 100 per cent stand on its own.

Okay, let’s see if it’s up to par with my requirements.

Does anything explode?

Errr… yes, actually.

A cake. And there is a spectacular fire.

Tee Hee.

Exploding cake… sounds delightfully messy.

I’m just not sure, though…

What, you’re still doubtful? After I’ve promised you glitz, glamour, intrigue, romance, betrayal, lots of food, travel, a rock star, a male nurse, an exploding cake and a fire? You are hard to please. All right, let’s see if the official blurb satisfies your hunger.

Her famous star remains her rock while life takes her on a little detour…

So she has finally found the man of her dreams; well, she’s seen him, for sure! Yet rock star and ex-fiancé, Dan, keeps getting in the way of her new romance—even if he is just trying to be helpful. A fire, an impromptu mini-trip with Dan, and a dreaded wedding later, Sophie is still struggling to meet the love of her life. Then, just as she is getting it together with her perfect man, best friend Rachel commits an act of unspeakable betrayal. Sophie has had enough. Surprising herself and shocking her friends, she embarks on a secret journey and eventually gets her life back on track.

Now, if you already told me she gets her life back on track, I know the ending.

Why would I need to read it?

Exploding cake, remember?

.

Piff, please…

Have you ever actually exploded anything?

I have, in a manner of speaking. Fireworks, for starters, to mark the New Year. Then there’s my home entertainment special, the indoor volcano. Be sure you’ve got high enough ceilings if you try that one. Why would you do that? Let’s just say it keeps the kids quiet for a while. Oh and, at college, many years ago, there was this tradition of filling plastic bottles with dry ice, closing the lid, shaking it up and waiting for the boooom from a VERY safe distance. That was just for fun. I hasten to add that as a non-scientist, I was merely a spectator and never the purveyor of the dry ice nor the assembler of the bottles. Just for the record.

Ha!

It does sound like there is a hidden and interesting side to you, Nicky Wells.

Do tell, have you ever painted your hair blue?

I have indeed. Not painted, exactly, but sprayed. It wasn’t just blue, it was blue-and-purple streaks. Why? Because I was fourteen and I needed to make a statement.

And what a beautiful statement it must have been!

So, have you ever traveled in space?

.

I do that all the time. My husband will come home and say, ‘you look all spaced out again’ and I’ll say, ‘well, yeah, I’m just on re-entry.’

You’ll all remember Danielle from the “Give that Publisher What They Want, Dernit!” Series here on my site. Now she has a giveaway!

Check out the details below!

I received a wonderful review yesterday for my solo science fiction collection, A Legacy of Stars (DTF Publications/Dark Quest Books). It made my day, but it came with something of a mystery, which I’ll quote here:

.“One of the cleverest first contact stories to come along in a long time.” Analog June 2013 issue

.Where is the mystery, do you ask? See…there are two first contact stories in the collection. Now I could just ask the reviewer which one he thought was the cleverest, but where is the fun in that? I say this calls for a contest.

For the next week I will be taking a poll on what you thought was the cleverest first contact story in the book. How it works: If you really like me and want to give some support to a small press author buy the ebook version of the book for $2.99 and give it a read.

Or, email me at _greenfirephoenix@aol.com_ and I will send you a PDF file of the two stories in question. Whichever route you take, read the stories: Building Blocks and To Look Upon The Face of God and click the below rafflecopter by April 12 (EST) with your pick for which is the cleverest. On April 13th the reviewer, Don Sakers, will answer the question on my Facebook page. Two people will win a free, autographed copy of the print version of A Legacy of Stars.

A temporary goodbye to the Little Blue Lady from Mars

You are going to shove me into your hard drive and never look at me again.

No, I’m not!

I promise!

But I’m a rehabilitated alien!

I made cookies last week and everything!

It’s not that. Your interviews have been great. Hundreds of people have clicked on over to read them. I’ve gotten a great response—even when you’ve been abrasive, which is a bit odd.

Then what’s the problem?

.

Time is the problem.

Did you know it takes a few hours to do one of those interviews?

Ha! You’re not doing anything. I’m doing all the work.

You’re just whining and complaining in the background.

Yes, but as much as I love you,

there is a little work involved in bringing you to life.

So?

.

Well, I’ve got writing to do, you know. I’m starting the sequel to Last Winter Red this weekend, and I have three books out to query now, and Fire in the Woods will be going to query in a few weeks.

They are more important than me?

Hmm. At the moment, yes, they are. But listen, I promise to set up an interview for you at least once a month. Twice once I get a little more acclimated to my new schedule, okay?

[Sigh]

I guess I really don’t have a choice, do I?

Sorry.

.

I’ll miss you.

.

I’ll miss you too.

But I’ll see you in a few weeks, I promise.

Okay.

How about for the last Free Friday for a while, we give away a copy of “Make Believe”.

Great! That would be awesome.

You know, the reviews for my story Last Winter Red in this anthology have been “off the charts crazy” good! And several people have asked about more from the Last Winter Red world.

Well, I’m happy for you, but not happy that writing the sequel means I have to go back into the hard drive.

Hey, I will keep my promise.

I even have an awesome author all lined up for April.

All Right.

.

Please bid the Little Blue Lady goodbye for a few weeks, and everyone commenting below will be in the running for an ebook copy (your choice of format) of the “Make Believe” anthology including my story LAST WINTER RED.

Jennifer’s not here this week, so I don’t have to worry about her being all squishy with these authors. Finally I get to do an interview without her complaining! Let’s see who’s here [opens the door]

Hi!

I’m Katie Salidas.

I’m here for the cooking show.

Cooking show?

.

Yep.

Where’s your kitchen?

Umm, It’s Jennifer Eaton’s kitchen actually,

and it’s over there.

Okay.

I’ll just make myself at home.

What’s with the bowls and pans?

Why’d you just turn on the oven?

Well, we’re going to cook,

aren’t we?

Cook? What’s going on?

Who are you anyway?

Who am I? Oh no one really, just a small wallflower of a writer who pens the most realistic and gritty urban fantasy vampires. I don’t do sparkles, and I don’t do vegetarian vampires. What I do “do” is emotion, struggle, pain, and ultimately overcoming the obstacles. I also do cookies.

Cookies?

Wait a minute.

Actually, we need to wait about five more minutes for the oven to preheat, but there’s lots to do while we’re waiting. But you know that, right? You’re a cooking show host.

The last thing I actually cooked was a novel that I didn’t like.

I blew it up.

Oh! I love symbolic imagery.

I blew up an idea yesterday. Storyboarded it and everything.

Umm

What?

Okay, First we have to combine the sugar, flour, baking soda and salt into a bowl. Can you start whisking that for me?

Ahhh, I guess.

This thing looks just like a miniature ray gun.

Be careful there. You don’t want to spill it.

Funny, you act like you’ve never whisked baking ingredients before.

Call it my tragic flaw

.

That’s okay. In my book Immortalis Carpe Noctem, my My Main character is flawed, that’s for sure, but who among us isn’t? She’s real, she young, and has a lot to learn. And as the series progresses you’ll learn right along with her.

Can she show me how to bake?

.

No silly. That’s what I’m here for.

Now let’s get those sugars mixed up.

With the whisky thingy?

.

Nope. Use your hands.

Get out all the lumps.

Wait!

What’s that?

Err, a hand mixer.

We need to start beating the ingredients.

What did the ingredients do?

What would you beat them?

I like you you’re funny.

Let’s get the rest of these ingredients in here

Are you sure you know what you’re doing?

This looks like a lump of Martian calowog dung.

I sure do know what I’m doing! I also know how to write books. Immortalis Carpe Noctem has sold over 10,000 copies.

It’s almost as good as making cookies!

I’m not so sure you are good at making cookies.

How can I be sure your book is any good?

I’ve got positive reviews on every site from Goodreads to Nook! I know this book is good and I want more readers to find it as well!

Really? But isn’t this book about vampires?

It’s so overdone. It seems like everyone is becoming a vampire these days.

Becoming a vampire is easy. Living with the condition…that’s the hard part.

Now we need to form this into a roll. Can you do that?

Like this?

.

Perfect!

Now we need to refrigerate it for forty-five minutes.

While we wait,

tell me more about your book.

Newbie vampire Alyssa never asked for this life, but now it’s all she has. Rescued from death by Lysander, the aloof and sexy leader of the Peregrinus vampire clan, she’s barely cut her teeth before she becomes a target.

Kallisto, an ancient and vindictive vampire queen – and Lysander’s old mate – wants nothing less than final death for her former lover and his new toy. She’s not above letting the Acta Sanctorum, and its greatest vampire hunter, Santino, know exactly where the clan can be found.

With no time to mourn her old life, Alyssa’s survival depends on her new family. She will have to stand alongside Lysander and fight against two enemies who will stop at nothing to destroy them.

Wow!

That actually sounds pretty cool!

It is very cool. And so is our dough.

Now we need to cut this into cookies four inches thick

Like this?

And spread them on the pan, right?

Yes. Hey, you don’t run a cooking show for nothing, you are a natural at this.

Now we bake 12 to 14 minutes.

So tell me.

When you’re not baking, do you ever explode things?

In real life, sadly, no. But I have a friend who does that kind of thing for a living. He is an inspiration behind one of the characters in my Immortalis series and he’s also my weapons consultant (so my writing is always accurate where that is concerned.)

Oh!

Has he ever taken over the world?

You know, taking over the world sounds all well and good, but then there is the responsibility of actually “ruling” the world. That sounds too much like work to me. LoL.

No. No work.

I’d just let Jennifer M. Eaton take care of all the hard stuff.

Speaking of hard stuff, we’ve made quite a mess.

Do you have a clean-up crew?

Yep. The annoying whiney chick with the curly hair who owns this place.

She’ll clean it up.

Great!

Let’s get these off the pan and onto a cooling rack.

Oops. I squished one.

Sorry

That’s okay. There’s plenty more.

Now what we’re going to do is goob a little frosting between these cookies.

Oh!

They look like spaceships!

They do, don’t they?

You can even put a little blue food coloring in the frosting so it will match your hair.

[Presses her lips together] I’m… not going to go there. So, are you ready for the interview?

Yes. Maybe it will cheer me up.

Let the stupid author in.

Oh, this isn’t going to go well…

So, who are you

and what do you want?

Hi.

I’m Denise Moncrief and I’m just a writer who wants to sell a few books.

Is that too much to ask?

.

Piff! We’ll see.

Why do you think your book is good enough?

Because…because… sheesh, because I wrote it.

That’s why.

Vain little sucker isn’t she?

Okay Miss Hoity Toity…

Why would anyone want to read it?

Why wouldn’t they?

Because you’re a hoity toity pink clad…

.

Hey! Be nice!

You don’t know anything about her!

She reminds me of Sigourney Weaver. That brown hair… those beady eyes… I don’t like Sigourney Weaver anymore. She’s mean to poor alien mothers just trying to protect their babies.

But this isn’t Sigourney Weaver.

.

I don’t care!

.

Please give her a chance.

.

All right.

Tell me what your stupid book is about.

I’m so glad you asked! Tess Copeland is an operator. Her motto? Necessity is the mother of a good a con. When Hurricane Irving slams into the Texas Gulf coast, Tess seizes the opportunity to escape her past by hijacking a dead woman’s life, but Shelby Coleman’s was the wrong identity to steal. And the cop that trails her? He’s a U.S. Marshall with the Fugitive Task Force for the northern district of Illinois. Tess left Chicago because the criminal justice system gave her no choice. Now she’s on the run from ghosts of misdeeds past—both hers and Shelby’s.

Enter Trevor Smith, a pseudo-cowboy from Houston, Texas, with good looks, a quick tongue, and testosterone poisoning. Will Tess succumb to his questionable charms and become his damsel in distress? She doesn’t have to faint at his feet—she’s capable of handling just about anything. But will she choose to let Trevor be the man? When Tess kidnaps her niece, her life changes. She must make some hard decisions. Does she trust the lawman that promises her redemption, or does she trust the cowboy that promises her nothing but himself?

Is that supposed to sound even remotely interesting to me? I just got back from Texas, and it was nothing like that. It was far more interesting. Stupid book.

Stupid Alien.

Who are you calling stupid?

.

You, Stupid. And Sigourney Weaver rules.

That was another stupid alien who deserved everything it got!

What? How dare you!

[Fumbles through drawer] Hey! Who took my ray gun!

Oops.

That would be me.

Where is it?

.

Would you believe it’s out getting cleaned?

It was a little dirty from the last book you disintegrated with it.

Well, I need to disintegrate another stupid book

– and the stupid author too!

How about you just get rid of he book by giving it away?

Never!

.

But maybe there’s a reason she’s stupid…

I mean… ergh… Umm…

You mean maybe she was hit by a stupid ray?

.

Stupid ray? Is there such thing?

.

Yes.

.

Well, then, yes,

maybe she was hit by a stupid ray.

Hey Moncrief…

Were you hit with a stupid ray or something?

No, I don’t think so. But then, the memory erasing serum faded most of the 1990s for me.

You know what?

If they hit her with a stupid ray, maybe she was being bad?

Oh!

Did you try to take over the world?

I can’t talk about that. National security and everything, you understand. (That’s part of the reason they gave me the memory erasing serum.) There are things I remember, and things I’d rather forget.

So there is a possibility you are a comrade of world domination, but you just don’t remember! Are you sure you are from this planet? Have you ever had the odd sensation of floating in a black void with sparkling stars?

Don’t you think these questions are getting a little…personal?

Hmmm.

I’m not sure what to do with this one.

On the off chance she’s stupid for a reason, how about we give away a copy of her book?

That’s a stupid reason

to give away a book.

Stupid reason for a stupid person?

.

Oh, okay.

We’ll give away the stupid book.

Yessssssssssssssss!

Hey, Denise… I don’t really think you’re stupid

.

I know :-)

.

There you have it! Comment below, and try to make poor Denise feel better after all that.