Sorry for the ridiculous delay. The restaurant has been keeping me super busy along with my kids (and then there was the 4th of July which is a big deal around here). I've demanded at least 1 hour a day to do some serious writing (not an hour where everyone and their brother is bothering me). Maybe I'll rant about my employees in another post and show some pics from Tuesday's party, but I just want to post the next part so here it is:

Title: Something Seriously AmissPart 2a of 3Pairing: Brian/Justin (technically speaking BrianJustin/JustinBrian)Rating: R?Timeline: Early S5Summary: This is your typical body swap plot line. A witch decides to show the boys what it would be like to walk in the other's shoes. Chaos and hilarity ensue.

Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip, the boys, employees with functioning brains (okay, okay - some of them do)

NOTE: For the purpose of this chapter, I will refer to the boys only by their name because they are alone and with each other in this chapter. So Brian is Brian in Justin's body and Justin is Justin in Brian's body because, well because that's who they really are.

So, okay, as long as we're on the same page....

Part 2a

Brian and Justin had raced up the stairs - in truth, the elevator would have been much faster but neither one was willing to wait for it - to the large steel door and hurried into the loft, securing the door behind them, while panting heavily, out of breath, not from over-exertion but more from the strange circumstances in which they found themselves.

"Brian? What the fuck's going on? I mean...fuck!"

Brian looked back at Justin and ran to his bedroom, tripping over the first step, bounded up to his full length mirror and stood there for the longest time, peering at, not himself, but Justin's visage. He kept touching, pinching and pulling at his face until Justin walked into the room.

"Brian! Talk to me. You're really freaking me out."

"I'm freaking you out?" Brian slowly turned around from the mirror. "I'm freaking you out? You're standing there - and in case you hadn't noticed - in my body - and I'm freaking you out?!" Brian, the one wearing Justin's skin, started to laugh with a maniacal look in his eyes.

"Brian? Please stop. When you do that in my body, it looks really scary."

"Does it now? Welcome to my world." Brian then turned around and continued to look at himself in the mirror. Just then, Justin moved in behind him. Brian touched the vision of himself in the reflection.

"What are we gonna do Brian? I mean....it's like we're stuck in an overdone plot line of a Disney movie!" Justin started to fold his arms across his chest. "And not a very good one."

"No," Brian said, holding up his hand which he kept looking at, "not 'like,' we are!"

Justin, the one in Brian's body, started to pace the floor while biting his nails.

"Hey! Hey! No nail-biting! Those are my nails you're biting," Brian scolded. "I dropped $300 on that last manicure - show a little respect."

Justin looked back at Brian and then started to fiddle with the buttons on his shirt.

"Justin, that shirt is a Prada - it cost more than everything in your closet. Stop picking at the buttons."

Justin threw his arms into the air. "Fine Brian! Everything's fucked right now, but let's make sure we don't fuck with your designer clothes and ridiculously overpriced manicures. Excuse the fuck out of me for forgetting my priorities!" Justin sat down heavily on the sofa.

Brian walked up to where Justin was sitting, kneeled down and looked up into his face. Although it was his own face staring back at him, it still tugged at Brian's heart, not that he would ever admit that, to see the kid so upset and worried. Brian reached over and took Justin's - actually his own - hands in his.

"I don't know what's going on, but we'll figure it out. We'll get through this...together, okay?" and with that Brian saw Justin lift his head and smile. Even though Brian always thought that he had a great smile, he found himself really missing Justin's at the moment.

"Okay Brian."

"Now, what was the last thing you remembered happening before we noticed...um...the change from....um....this thing..."

"You mean when we switched bodies?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, as strange as that sounds, yeah."

"Well," Justin started to concentrate very hard, "I think - and I know this sounds funny - but I think we actually wished for this at the same time. I remember saying something about how I wish 'you could know how I feel' and you said something like..."

"...'that makes two of us,'" Brian finished. "Okay, we'll figure something out. We'll solve this logically...because you know this is oh-so-logical and what the fuck drugs were we doing," Brian continued to rant as Justin watched Brian start to pace up and down the living room floor. "Okay, okay, I'm calm. We're calm. We're adults. At least I'm an adult. You're an adult, right? There was a birthday, I remember." Brian continued to look at everything in his loft, making sure everything was in the place they should be, trying to restore order to things he could control.

"Yes, Brian, I'm an adult now," Justin said while crossing his arms across his chest again. Justin got up off the couch and looked down at Brian. "Oh my God Brian! I'm taller than you now! Oh God! Oh wait, wait, wait!" Justin raced over to the kitchen and stood in front of the refrigerator. "Watch this Brian!" Justin reached over and grabbed one of the jars sitting on top of the appliance. "I could never do that without having to strain myself!"

"Well I'm so glad that you managed to find the silver lining in our little misfortune. I guess now I don't have to pick you up to help you wash your hands in public restrooms," Brian replied mockingly.

"I know it's not a big deal to you Brian, but it's always kind of bothered me how much shorter I am than you. I know you're always having to make concessions for me."

Brian turned around with a puzzled look on his face. "Concessions?"

"You know - bending your knees when we dance or fucking while standing, tilting your head to kiss. You know."

Brian turned back around and mumbled something about "it never felt like making concessions."

"What Brian?"

"Huh? Oh, oh nothing." Brian knew he was starting to lose it. He needed to stay in control right now.

"Oh God. I almost forgot...," Justin said while unzipping his fly. "Woo Hoo! I have a nine inch dick!"

Brian spun around quickly while raising his eyebrow. "What happened to 'nine inches?' and that crack about the metric system you made only an hour ago?"

"That was different."

"How?"

"I wasn't the one with the nine inch dick then."

"Wait a minute," and with that Brian ran up to the bedroom again and stood with his back to the mirror trying to see behind him. "I actually have an ass. Son-of-a-..."

Brian started to strut around the room swishing his butt back and forth. "Look at me and my new boot-tay."

Justin stood with his arms across his chest and his eyebrows lifted. "Boot-tay Brian? And I always knew you loved my ass."

"Yeah, well, I have always loved your ass - but I like it better on you. Besides, I felt my center of gravity shift," Brian said while continuing to look behind him.

Brian walked up to Justin and hung his arms around Justin's neck almost forgetting to look up instead of looking down to be eye level with the boy. "I was just providing levity to the situation right now. Come on, let's go to bed and then figure out what to do in the morning."

"Sure, I'm just getting something to eat and then I'll come to bed," Justin replied while moving toward the kitchen.

Brian watched as Justin went to the cupboard and pulled out a carton of Oreos. Brian raced to the kitchen.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Do not put that cookie in your mouth!"

Brian's yelling made Justin take notice and look up before he took a bite.

"Yeah, well, some salad sans dressing will have to make do for now." Brian started to reach for the carton to take the offending snack food away from Justin. Justin pulled away and walked to the living room.

"No Brian. It's just a few cookies! It's," Justin said while looking at the side of the package, "only 160 calories and 24 grams of carbs for every 3 cookies. I'm not handing the cookies over," and with that Justin started to put the cookie in his mouth.

Brian raced into the living room while Justin was trying to put more distance away from himself and Brian. "I said don't put that cookie in your mouth. Those things are loaded. It'll be one hour on the treadmill for one of us tomorrow if you..."

But before Brian could finish Justin had willfully put the cookie in his mouth and started to chew.

"You did that on purpose! Now spit it out!" Brian yelled. "Don't you dare swallow!"

This was probably the first time in Brian and Justin's relationship that Justin ever heard those words come out of Brian's mouth.

Justin swallowed. Brian gasped.

"I swallowed Brian! The cookie is making it's way into your stomach as we speak, getting digested, setting up little fatty deposits along the way. 24 grams, no make that...8 grams of carbohydrates setting up shop. The question is Brian, what are you gonna do? Huh?! I've got the Oreos!" Justin started waving the box in front of Brian. "The evil, diabolical Or-e-os." Justin took a cookie out of the box and looked at it. "It looks so innocent, doesn't it? But it's going down!" Justin popped another cookie into his mouth.

Brian grabbed at his hair in a frantic move. He felt a momentary pang when he realized he couldn't even find comfort in grabbing his own hair. "Justin, you've completely lost it - you're totally insane right now. Now. Stop. Eating. The. Damn. Cookies!"

Justin started to chew and swallow again.

"I'm insane?! I'm insane?!"

Brian charged at Justin with what some in the apartment building would later say sounded like a war cry. Justin managed to side-step Brian as he came at him and then proceeded to run around the couch, clutching the Oreos in one hand to his chest. Brian found it a bit more difficult to run after Justin as he was not accustomed to this new body.

And, there was of course, the fact that Justin couldn't run.

Finally Brian saw his opportunity and cut through the couch, toppling it over in the process, while snagging Justin's feet out from under him, toppling Justin over as well. Brian straddled Justin and then turned the boy over - well, he turned his body over - and grabbed Justin's arms, pulling them over his head.

"You're a freak Brian! Now lemme go!" Justin continued struggling. Usually Brian had no problem holding Justin down but this time proved a bit more difficult. Although, Brian had to admit, Justin was a lot stronger for his size than people thought.

They both looked at each other. Brian was the first to start laughing, followed closely by Justin. "Alright, so I'm a freak. But I'm a 33 year old freak who's in very fit shape." Brian climbed off Justin while running his hands through his hair. "Come on, Justin, work with me on this one, please?"

Justin looked at Brian, who was giving his very own pleading-pouty-please-do-what-I-say look and found it a little hard to resist.

Justin was satisfied to know the look worked quite well so he decided to acquiesce. "Sure Brian," Justin said while getting up and heading towards the bedroom. "I'll just get ready for bed."

Brian picked up the cookies off the floor and headed toward the kitchen. "I'll put these away," Brian said while holding up the carton and making a disgusted face.

As Brian was putting the cookies back into the cupboard, he decided to take a cookie out. He looked at it for awhile. It had seemed like forever since Brian had eaten one of these.

Brian figured it wouldn't hurt as it wasn't his body he was polluting with fat. Justin could eat these things all day long and not gain anything.

Brian popped one in his mouth, chewed and swallowed.

Brian suddenly remembered happier days - days spent in his neighbor's house while she babysat him. Brian couldn't even remember her name but she was a kindly old woman who kept the cupboards stocked with Oreos and those graham cracker cookies with the chocolate icing on them. He enjoyed being at her house as a relief from the Hell of his own life. Unfortunately for Brian, it lasted for only a period of six months - apparently she had died from high cholesterol levels.

He put another cookie in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. He thought milk would go quite nicely with the cookies so he poured a huge cold glass.

Yep, the memories were coming back now.

Brian was like a man possessed. He kept stuffing more of the chocolate, creme-filled cookies into his mouth while washing them down with the milk. He couldn't get enough - he was like a man starving after a long, self-inflicted fast.

When Justin looked down into Brian's face, he had a sudden realization of what his mother must have seen whenever Justin got his hand caught in the cookie jar, literally speaking. Brian's mouth was completely covered in chocolate cookie crumbs and he was sporting a milk mustache - he looked for all the world about twelve years old. Justin thought it would have been quite comical if not for the fact that he was looking at himself and it just wasn't funny anymore.

"Brian? Did you eat all the cookies?" Now of course, Justin knew this was a ridiculous question as the evidence clearly showed a completely empty bag lying on the counter.

"Maybeef," Brian said while shrugging his shoulders.

Brian hadn't even had the decency to swallow yet.

"You're unbelievable, you know that? I'm going to have to teach you a new word - 'moderation,'" Justin said while staring at Brian. Brian swallowed and continued to look guilty. "Let's go to bed, Brian." Justin grabbed Brian's hand and led him to the bedroom. Brian brushed his teeth and undressed down to his, Justin's, briefs. As he climbed into bed, he saw Justin sitting up under the covers.

Brian smiled. "We'll be okay." Brian leaned over and started kissing Justin. Justin was responding back, especially when Brian started kissing him behind his ear.

No matter what the crisis at hand was, the two men always found their own special way of coping with things. This situation was no different.

They both lay on the bed completely naked, staring at each other, looking in awe at each other's body - seeing what the other sees on a daily basis.

"This is so bizarre," Brian said while he stroked his own face, the face Justin was currently wearing.

"It's unreal," Justin replied while doing the same back to Brian.

"Turn over Justin," Brian whispered.

"Uh, Brian? No."

"Don't fuck with me right now, Justin," Brian said a little more adamantly.

"But that's exactly it! Brian, I'm not going to be topped by you right now when you're in my body," Justin replied while raising his hands to Brian, palms up. "Besides, this is the perfect opportunity for you to know what it's like to be fucked by the great Brian Kinney!"

"I am not going to be fucked by my own cock - and I can't fucking believe I just said that! Now turn around and I'll forget this little insurgence."

"No. I promise, Brian. I'll do it just like you," Justin said while scooting closer to Brian. He looked at him square in the eyes. "I just want you to feel what I feel, please Brian?"

This was quite the conundrum, Brian thought. On the one hand, the thought of knowing what it felt like to be fucked by himself was too good to pass up - on the other hand, the situation was so bizarre and Brian had almost lost control several times over the course of the night, he was a bit afraid to just let go. He had finally made his decision.

"Okay, Justin. Show me what it's like - I want to know."

Brian laid down on his stomach while Justin straddled his lower legs. Justin looked down on the back of his naked body as he slowly stroked his spine. He then started to coat his fingers with the ever present lube and then slowly eased his fingers into Brian. "This is so weird - it's like I'm a contortionist only without the pain."

"Ha. Ha." Brian was about to respond sarcastically again to Justin when he felt the warm sensations coming over him as Justin started to finger him slowly. Justin brushed against his prostrate and Brian suddenly felt that all-too-familiar tingle only this time, to the power of ten. He'd forgotten how responsive the kid was. "Oh, yeah, that..feels...so...oh yeah."

Justin kept rubbing, completely enthralled with watching his backside writhing on the bed. Brian's body, well, if one were being technical, Justin's body started to shake and shudder.

"Oh...no...not now...ah...ahh....," Brian started to pant heavily on the bed. "Damn." Brian became very silent.

"Brian? You okay?" Justin kept rubbing along his spine.

"I...I came," Brian all but whispered. "God that felt good. I gotta hand it to you Justin - you exert more control than I ever could."

Justin smiled and continued rubbing Brian's spine. He then swatted Brian's ass. "That's for soiling the sheets, twat!" Justin said jokingly.

"I never get on your case - well, okay maybe sometimes. Fuck that felt good. Hey, while you're back there, care to bestow me with a rim job?"

"I refuse to lick my own ass. You can always give me one though."

"Yeah, you're right - too weird," Brian said while resting his head on his shoulders. Justin reached for a condom on the nightstand. He was about to sheath himself when he stopped.

"Brian, now that we know magic is real and that wishes come true, why do we need the condoms? I mean, maybe, I guess I'm just doing some more of my wishful thinking but..."

"Justin?"

"Yeah."

"Put the damn condom on. If wishes were truly real, and I'm not saying they're not because, hello, look at us, but if it were truly that simple, then my father would have turned into Bill Bixby from The Courtship of Eddie's Father a long time ago."

"Who?"

"Oh fuck...just fuck me Justin, please!" Brian couldn't handle it anymore. He missed that feeling of fullness he had had when Justin had put his fingers up his ass before. Brian didn't like to admit it too often, but there were times when he could use a good fucking and in reality, the circumstances did provide a nice excuse.

Justin sheathed himself and then applied the lube liberally. Even though Justin at this point had been used to getting fucked pretty regularly by Brian, he still felt the need to be careful.

"Justin, today would be really nice."

"I'm sorry Brian - I just want to make this good for you like you always do for me."

"I appreciate the sentiment but right now I really want you to fuck me."

Justin stopped before he entered Brian. A devilish smile came across his face. "My, you're certainly a bossy bottom. I didn't quite hear you before. What was it that you wanted?"

"Oh God. Fuck. Me. Now." Brian continued to writhe on the bed trying to get some friction, willing that emptiness to go away. He needed to be fucked and he needed it right the fuck now. "I'll give you the deed to the loft if you fuck me now."

"Technically speaking, it's sort of my loft anyway..."

"I will come back there personally and bite my own dick off if you don't..."

"Okay. Okay. Sorry," Justin said while laughing. "What do you say?"

"Please for the love of whatever God there is, Fuck me. Fuckmefuckmefuckme...."

Justin eased himself into Brian slowly at first and then started to pick up the pace, making sure to stroke Brian's prostrate on almost every thrust, just as Brian did.

"Fuck Brian! I'm so fucking tight! God, I can feel everything..."

"Yeah...always so tight..."

At this point, Brian's coherency was severely in question. If this is what Justin felt everytime they did it, he now understood why the kid never needed to go elsewhere. Brian knew what it felt like to fuck Justin. It wasn't like fucking others. It felt good with random strangers but when it was just him and Justin it just felt different. A different rhythm, different music. It felt good.

It just felt right.

He never really considered what it felt like to Justin. He just always assumed it felt good to him too. Now he knew. Brian always wondered if it was because they knew each other so well and if it was a 'practice makes perfect' kind of thing. He never really stopped to analyze it - he just went with it.

As he felt Justin behind him, moving with him, in him, he honestly didn't care anymore.

They just fit.

As if Justin was reading Brian's thoughts at the same time, Justin asked, "It's different...with me...isn't it?"

"Yeah....," and as Brian was responding, Justin took note of Brian's body starting to shudder. Justin grabbed the top of Brian's head so he could look at his own face right as he came. Looking at each other, into each other, knowing without a doubt what the other was feeling, they both came together. Justin knew one thing. It didn't matter who was in who's body because at that precise moment in time, they were both one.

Afterward, they lay next to each other in bed, completely spent. "I look hot when I cum," Justin said smacking his lips.

"I've always thought so. I like the cute, little way your body shudders right before you climax," Brian said with a smile, basking in the 'after-glow.' "I look like I'm in pain when I cum."

"Yeah, but I love the sound you make," Justin smiled back. "Shit! I can't believe how fucking tight I am."

"I believe you already said that while you were somewhere up my ass."

"No, I mean, Brian? That's not the reason you're with me, is it?" Justin asked in a very unsure voice.

"Yes, Justin. You've found me out. The only reason I put up with you is because of your tight ass." Brian started to roll over while chuckling to himself. "It's more like reason #134."

Justin smiled. "You have them numbered? And they're all the way to 134?"

"Don't get too cocky. I have twice the number of reasons why I should get rid of your ass."

Justin laughed. Even in this stressful situation, he still had full possession of the 'Brian Kinney Operating Manual' and knew well enough that that translated into if Brian had many reasons why he shouldn't have Justin around, then he still had his reasons for wanting him to stay. He also knew that because of the said stressful situation, Brian was willing to disclose more information than he normally was used to.

Brian started to laugh.

"What?" Justin asked.

"Now if someone tells you to 'go fuck yourself,' you can say 'been there, done that.' Now, let's get some sleep. We'll wake up in the morning, whatever drugs we ingested tonight at Babylon will be out of our system and this will all be some fucked up dream," Brian said while starting to yawn. "Maybe we'll even find Bobby Ewing in the shower."

"Okay Brian, but I didn't take anything."

"Me neither..." and with that Brian rolled over and they both fell into a deep sleep.

At one point in the middle of the night, Brian had a dream that his father had turned into Bill Bixby but when Brian spilled his Dr Pepper on the kitchen floor, Bill turned into the Incredible Hulk. Brian half-woke from his dream and snuck over to the side of the bed where Justin was sleeping. He curled himself around Justin but found that he didn't fit quite right anymore. He didn't sleep very well for the rest of the night and at some time, wished for them to change back so he could spoon more properly so he could get a better night's sleep as he usually did when he slept with Justin.

Not that he would ever admit that, of course.

TBC in Part 2b where the boys spend a wacky day at Kinnetic and the diner.

Feedback is welcome. That was my first time writing porn (sorta porn) so be kind.

hahaha OMG what a crack up! you gotta love this really, what drama queens. Do continue, im loving the story here its not your usual conventional story and I like that. Purely being honest here, I can't wait for more.

Brian eating all the cookies after telling Justin not to!! And then, just so we know it's you, we get this;

Unfortunately for Brian, it lasted for only a period of six months - apparently she had died from high cholesterol levels.

Bwahahaha!!

And omg, this line killed me;

I refuse to lick my own ass.

Dead. DEAD.

This was so fucking awesome! I can't tell you how perfect. Thank you x 23413242342 for writing it!

The sex was hot, and you said you couldn't write sex, pfft!

At one point in the middle of the night, Brian had a dream that his father had turned into Bill Bixy but when Brian spilled his Dr Pepper on the kitchen floor, Bill turned into the Incredible Hulk. Brian half-woke from his dream and snuck over to the side of the bed where Justin was sleeping. He curled himself around Justin but found that he didn't fit quite right anymore. He didn't sleep very well for the rest of the night and at some time, wished for them to change back so he could spoon more properly so he could get a better night's sleep as he usually did when he slept with Justin.

OH BRIAN YOU BIG WOOBIE!

This was fan-fucking-tastic, and I can't wait for more. 2b is coming soon, yes?

This is amazing! I love your dialog - so witty! Characterization is spot on. Congratulations. It really feels like how they would react if something like this really happened. I can't wait for next part.