WATCH: Unintentionally Hilarious ‘Cat Massage’ Video Going Viral

Currently trending on reddit with the title “Every Line of This Video is Pure Gold,” Maryjean Ballner’s “cat massage” instructional video is making cat fans everywhere giddy with laughter. The thing is — she totally means it. Reddit is known for its love of cats, but really, this video can be enjoyed by anyone with its sincere unintentional comedic brilliance. Maryjean just can’t stop dropping gold like:

“We touch things all the time. Why not be the best at it?”

“Slow down, you’re moving too fast. That says a lot about life, and about cat massage.”

“Good for you! Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun.”

and of course, the unbeatably inane

“If you’re right handed use your right hand, and if you’re left handed use your left. Or, if you’re right handed you can try using your left hand or vice versa.”