When I was a kid, I thought my parents were pretty tough. They did things like swat my bottom with a wooden spoon when I was caught fibbing, or send me to the bathroom for time out when me and my sister fought over our expansive Beanie Baby collection. Of course, with maturity we all learn that the most rudimentary rule of parenting is that if you don’t punish your child when they are naughty, they’ll grow up to be spoiled assholes. And no one likes those kind of people. So, thanks Mom and Dad for all of those groundings and spankings I most definitely deserved. And don’t go there, perverts.

Although my parents were cool. some are just terrible, down-right ghoulish monsters that should never be allowed to own/oversee an innocent child, ever. The lady above might look like your typical PTA mom in Scaryland, but that she is not. Meet Stephanie Notah. She in the clink for clubbing her toddlers with household objects and letting them stew in a pile of poop.

BARTLESVILLE – A $25,000 bond was set Monday for a Dewey woman charged felony child neglect after police found her in a car with two feces-covered toddlers.

Stephanie Lynn Notah, 44, is charged with felony child neglect, possession of marijuana and paraphernalia and transporting an open container. Special Judge Kyra Williams ordered Notah to have no contact with the 3-year-olds, who were taken into custody by child welfare authorities.

Bartlesville police were called around 9 p.m. Friday to a store in the 2600 Block of Washington Boulevard by witnesses who told police Notah was cussing out the children and struck one of the tots in the face with a box, a court affidavit stated.

When police arrived on the scene, officers found two girls covered in an abundance of dried feces with more piled up in the car seats, the affidavit stated. Notah explained to police the children had been sitting in their own feces “just a few hours.”

There was an open bottle of beer next to Notah and one of the toddlers was holding the rest of the six-pack, the affidavit stated. Notah told police “all I smoke now is the fake marijuana,” but a K-9 officer searching the vehicle discovered marijuana, a grinder and five smoking pipes in the car, the affidavit stated.

Dewey police Sgt. Tim Stringer arrived on the scene in Bartlesville as well because he is working a separate child abuse investigation involving an allegation that Notah hit one of the children with a broom, the affidavit stated. One of the 3-year-olds had a laceration on the top of her head, which she said was due to her mother hitting her with a broom, the affidavit stated.

Uh, how the hell did these toddlers get covered in poop? I thought this kind of thing only happened to marathon runners. I don’t know a lot about kids yet, but I’m pretty sure three year olds are mature enough to not soil themselves then spread it all over their bodies. My idiot army of chihuahuas don’t even pull that kind of crap. Did this sinister mother cover the kids in feces herself? Or did she get stoned and hit her child in the face because of the stinky mess they made? Either way, this is definitely a shitty situation (wacka wacka). These poor kids were covered in poop and didn’t even get an autographed photo of a celebrity, or get to be a contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. This story alone will forever change the way I interpret the whole “drop the kids of in the pool” slang term. I mean, what a turd!

And check out the maniacal look in this lady’s eyes. She sort of looks like she could be Gollum’s mother, or the elf that turned away from God and became Satan. I bet her voice sounds exactly like the Wicked Witch of the West’s. I can totally picture her brewing potions in a cauldron and sacrificing kittens behind her mobile home. The broom that she hit her child with is probably the same one that she uses for transportation. The lady has even got a witch-esque wart or mole thing on her face!

Anyways, thank goodness that these kids are safe now. And as for Ms. Notah, I say we hang her, make her wear a scarlet “A,” press her in heavy rocks, or whatever they did to execute Tituba, Giles Corey, Hester Prynne, and Elizabeth Proctor. I didn’t pay a lot of attention in tenth grade English, but this is the same sort of situation, right?

Forever alone. “Puff, puff, pass” is dangerous when operating a motor vehicle…if your friends are going ride along, everyone needs his own pipe, lest you receive a ticket for failure to devote time and attention or something.

Well FYI: the dad died of an illness a year ago. Her life was different before then. She tried to get help, but had no support system in place to assist her…2 kids, husband dead..her life went down-hill. There are 2 places to turn in life, to the Lord Jesus or to the world. I’m guessing none of you offered her Jesus and noone else was there to either. Obviously by the type of comments, you are all too busy throwing stones to realize that left to our own sinful depravity we are all no better than she is…your sin just looks different. She needs Jesus…period!
By the way ..scarlet letter had to do with adultry, not drugs or child neglect…read your lit.