As foretold by Terry Crews screaming at us, the first trailer for The Expendables 2 has arrived to rip the door off your skull and fill it with as much weaponry and garbled, indiscernible pith as can be squeezed into three minutes. It has a lot of explosions, Jean-Claude Van Damme is trying to steal some plutonium from a safe or something, and Schwarzenegger has never seemed less cognizant of why on Earth he would say he's back. It's about what you'd expect, really.

"Man and knife," he says! "I'm back," he says through a light haze of dementia, struggling to remember why he's been told to say that! "Lucky ring," he possibly says, but who the fuck can tell! What a thing.

\n\nAs foretold by Terry Crews screaming at us, the first trailer for The Expendables 2 has arrived to rip the door off your skull and fill it with as much weaponry and garbled, indiscernible pith as can be squeezed into three minutes. It has a lot of explosions, Jean-Claude Van Damme is trying to steal some plutonium from a safe or something, and Schwarzenegger has never seemed less cognizant of why on Earth he would say he's back. It's about what you'd expect, really.