(source) - FALMOUTH, Maine (AP) — Court documents indicate that the Massachusetts teenager charged with breaking into two houses while naked was under the influence of drugs. Eighteen-year-old Logan Valle (VAL'-ee) remained jailed on $10,000 bail Tuesday after his arrest Saturday night on charges of burglary, theft, criminal mischief and criminal trespass. He was found by police hiding in one of the homes, while his own home a couple of miles away was being destroyed in a fire. The cause of the fire remains under investigation.

The Portland Press Herald (http://bit.ly/11skMNl ) reports that police thought Valle appeared to be high on the synthetic drug known as bath salts, which can cause erratic behavior. Valle's court-appointed lawyer, Robert LeBrasseur, says he hasn't met with Valle yet but suggested mental illness could have played a role in his actions.

So we learn a few things from this, the first of which is: don't be a teenager growing up in Maine. Have you ever been to Maine? Don't get me wrong, it's gorgeous, but living there your whole life would be misery. Long and terrible winters, snow on snow on snow, small towns and no cities for hundreds of miles in most places. It's either isolation or close quarters with the same people you've known your whole life. Seriously, I have relatives from Maine/New Hampshire (they're the same thing) and none of them had a graduating class of more than 15 people. So when you take the normal affinity for drug experimentation that is inherent in every 18 year old and then add all of these Maine factors, it's easy to see how one may skip the "smoke a joint and chew some shrooms" phase and go straight to fuckin bath salts. Which leads to the next thing we've learned, or rather reaffirmed:

Bath salts are bananas. I've never read a story about bath salts that didn't end with nudity, arson, or cannibalism. In most cases, such as this, you even get a combo. And I would be lying if I said I'm not a little bit curious. Would I ever take bath salts? No*. Am I interested in how exactly a drug could take you so far out of your mind that running through your neighbor's house naked, after having apparently set your own house on fire, would seem like a totally rational idea? Yes. I'm just glad I'm not 18 nowadays. Too many things to think about drug wise. Weed comes in like a million different forms and super cannibal drugs are running rampant.

So I guess what I'm trying to say at the end of the day, is that we should take it easy on poor Mr. Logan Valle. Yeah yeah, you shouldn't take drugs/light your house on fire/go full frontal on your neighbors, but come on. We've all been 18 and experimental, but we haven't all grown up in Maine or been exposed to cannibal drugs. Had you been in his shoes, can you say you would have acted any differently? Don't answer that, it was rhetorical.

* Unless you got them. Cus then I may be down, depending up your pitch.... Kidding! (but actually, do you have them? Don't jerk me around here, bro. Tryin to get my cannibal on.)