When I first started, I thought all you had to do is write a book. Can you say *naive*, boys and girls? Join me on my journey as a pre- published writer looking to see my name on the cover of a book. I'll talk about all the bumps, bruises, joys and frustrations I encounter along the way.

I met up with Sheri tonight in a local bar to smother her battle scars with alcohol (my friend Kip joined us). Admittedly, I was the only one drinking, as evidenced by my constant declaration of "It's the beer." Here's some quotes from our night (in no particular order):

You know, I saw her through the window and now I don't see her.

fuck face

I'm gonna lose my 'I wanna shot' buzz.

Barry Manilow!

This song reminds me of Viagra.

I wish [he] would walk through the door right now, but I'd settle for [him]. (Names removed to protect the innocent...and the not-so-innocent)

He looked good in leather.

His chest was so hairy he looked like he was wearing a bathroom rug.

I feel like I should be stoned for this song.

Look at her tattoos.

Let's keep talking so he won't try to draw us into the conversation.

Where are you from?

I couldn't understand a word he said.

He knows we're married and he actually gave us his phone number.

Now I really need that damn shot!

I wonder if she used to be a stripper.

I've never heard "Brick House" sound so much like elevator music.

It makes me never want to dance again.

Table dances are free--go ahead and hop on up.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Oh, you meant the state? I thought you were talking about Kansas, the band.

I have to admit, I didn't exactly remember those lines by myself. At the end of the night, I looked at Sheri and said, "I'm gonna blog this." So we pulled out pen and paper and started listing all the good lines we could remember. But it really was a great night.