Wow, if you close your eyes, it looks real!

Hey Blog Guy, I know you’re completely on top of movie remakes and sequels. I’ve heard there is going to be another Jurassic Park sequel. Is that true?

Yeah, I’m afraid so, and as so often happens with sequels, this franchise has run out of steam.

The premise of this one is that a beauty pageant is held at Jurassic Park, which supposedly has been cleared of dinosaurs, but of course there are some left. The special effects for “Jurassic Park: Beauties and the Beasts” are the cheesiest yet, as you can see from these studio promotional photos. Are we just supposed to not notice some guy’s fingers?

I don’t recommend this one unless you’re really into vapid, half-naked blonde chicks being terrorized and dismembered by scaly green reptiles. Oh, never mind – I see you’re already in the ticket line.

My mom’s beloved Basset Hound invented altered Barbies. She chewed off their hands and feet, and my sisters and I would play “Roger Corman Horror Theater” or “Cliched Disaster Movie Theater”. It was fun!