Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End AU Review

The perfect complement to the trilogy, or barrel duty for gamers?

Like a bright shiny apple, there's little doubt that Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End looks appetising. In terms of its visual production values it's a new high water mark for licensed gaming, but unfortunately if you take a bite you'll discover it's rotten to the core. Or at the very least bland to the core. An unkind way to begin a review certainly, but I don't want you to be under any illusions about this game. It's poorly designed, frustrating in places and very little fun.

In many ways Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is the very definition of why licensed games tend to be so reviled by gamers. Despite the epic scope of the tale it purports to tell, this is paint by numbers game design that funnels the gamer along an entirely linear path and gives them next to nothing that's interesting to do. It's as predictable as it is depressing.

Before we really put the boot in, however, basic introductions are in order, just in case you haven't been following IGN's coverage of the title. Here goes. Gamers, meet At World's End. Ol' Atty (as well call him) is an action adventure romp that can take you all the way through the second and third Pirates films, from Jack in prison to the surprise ending where all the characters ride flying unicorns into the sunset. He likes pina coladas (for the rum), long walks on the beach (looking for a big X) and lots of fighting, with a side of platforming. He loves collecting pointless trinkets and often gives you multiple characters to control, and when we first met him we thought he had a stack of potential. He was jaw-droppingly pretty, to start with (okay, right about now I'm wishing that I'd made this game female for the purposes of the analogy), and he had a number of potentially endearing traits. Chiefly, the tongue in cheek action and great character likenesses boded well - this could be a friend who would sweep us into the world of Pirates. Sadly, despite his good looks we think you're going to find him deathly dull to hang out with.

Everyone was a "wigger" back in the day. Groan.

Good ol' Atty. Okay, so there was a bit of boot-putting-in there but honestly, it's hard to avoid. Pirates is just so lacklustre. Right from the off this is a 'look but don't touch' world. Take Port Royal as an example. The water glistens in the bay, the sun beams down from a gorgeous blue sky, the boardwalks and ramshackle buildings are well realised, and the town is bustling with activity. Unfortunately, as soon as you step onto land the leash is attached and invisible walls go up in every direction. The world is broken up into numerous small areas, each connected by doorways and each discouraging any exploration beyond climbing the odd rope. You can't interact with anything - you can't kick chickens, smash barrels or talk to the people wandering the streets. Sure, they may make a comment in your direction occasionally, but then they'll keep walking towards a wall before fading into thin air, further illustrating the artifice of the world. You're given basic, boring tasks with no wit or sparkle. Somehow I don't see the real Jack Sparrow wandering about a town taking down all the wanted posters of Will. More infuriating, since I'd played the preview code I knew I'd have to do this, but do you think the game would let me start collecting them when I first landed on the dock? Not a chance - wait until the quest is triggered naughty boy. This continues throughout the game - everything in its right order. That door that was inaccessible a minute ago? Oh, now you can open it. No exploring - beyond finding treasure chests filled with the most disappointing treasure ever - and no interacting; just blindly follow the compass to your next port of call. And don't jump in the water. I've never seen someone drown so fast in two feet of water.

Okay, so maybe I'm being a little unfair. This game is, after all, mostly about the action. And you know what? If the action was really compelling we could probably forgive some of the game's other failings. Sadly, it's not. Combat mostly takes the form of sword fights against multiple opponents, although there's unarmed combat and one-on-one duels as well. We'll get to them in a sec. Combat tries to tie in a whole host of different elements but never comes together in a particularly satisfying or varied way. A very quick tour of the basics - you have a button for your sword, a punch button and a grapple button. You can mix and match these for very basic combos. Fill up your 'swordsmanship metre' through combat and you can finish off opponents with style. Sadly, these prompts tend to flash up pretty quickly and you're usually better off just finishing an enemy with a basic swipe. Or a punch to the kidney unless they're one of the many enemies that can only be defeated using a finishing move. Again, we'll get to that in a sec.

Not pictured: a treasure chest containing - gasp - a periwig! All my Christmases have come at once!

While there's - bizarrely - no block button, there is a counter system. When an enemy is about to attack, a red circle appears at his feet. Press A and move the left analogue stick in the direction of the enemy and you'll counter. The enemy may charge, for instance, and you'll step aside like a bullfighter and slash him to the ground. Problem is, the action entirely freezes to make room for these little encounters, and more often than not you're surrounded by enemies and can't see their feet anyway. Nothing like failing to block an attack from off-screen. What else is there? Let's see. You have a flintlock and can carry three bearings at once. Find some space and you can draw and shoot with a button press. You can pick up and use items in the environment, such as throwing knives, bottles and grenados. This is really clumsy and rarely worth doing - you have to position yourself exactly over the item to pick it up (easier said than done given the movement controls - once more, we'll get to that in a sec) then try to lock on to an enemy who's usually off-screen. Joy. Oh, and then there's the whole shrunken head system - collect three of these and you can unleash an area of effect attack, then go on an instant kill rampage for a short time afterwards. The shrunken heads are also used to open 'special' green treasure chests. So yeah, a lot of different mechanics, very few of which work all that well. Oh for a block button and some interesting combos!