Has it really only been a year since Adele swept the 2012 Grammys? Well, she didn’t win Best New Artist, of course, because she wasn’t eligible for that one. That particular trophy was awarded to “new artist” Justin Vernon, aka Bon Iver, whose debut album, For Emma Forever Ago, came out the same year as Adele’s debut album, 19: in 2008! Ah, ragging on the 2012 Grammys — how we’ll miss thee! But no longer. Because tonight — and for the next year — we’ll be ragging on the 2013 Grammys! And that’s why we’re here, people, at this impromptu Comment Party, to which you are very much invited.

Who will be this year’s Adele? Well, you’ll hear the names Black Keys, Frank Ocean, fun., Gotye, and of course ol’ man Mumford and his boys, called out a bunch of times. Some that have already won (but won’t be televised) include: Gotye for Best Alternative Album, beating out our best album of 2012 (Fiona Apple’s The Idler Wheel …); Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for Best Score Soundtrack; Björk for Best Recording Package; Jay-Z and Kanye West for Best Rap Performance and Best Rap Song; Drake for Best Rap Album; Black Keys for Best Rock Album and Best Rock Song; and Miguel for Best R&B Song. (Um … so what exactly will be televised?)

So, without further ado … let’s party! Before we begin, though, some dress code notes, courtesy of CBS. Ahem:

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

I repeat: “Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.” We straight? Cool. So let’s do this! Team Stereogum will see you in the comments, drinks in hand, properly attired. As always.

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