Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. –Proverbs 22:6, KJV

Too many people understand this verse to be saying, “If you raise your child a certain way, he (or she) will follow that same path forever.”

First, we must remember that proverbs typically are generalized sayings, not prescriptive rules that are always 100% true.

This leads to the second point, that the truth in this passage is more subtle but still believed by most people today.

Maybe you have heard someone (including yourself!) say “I became my mom (or dad)!” Allthis means is that we find ourselves doing what our parents did, sometimes saying when we were younger “I’m never gonna do that!”

Thankfully, though my parents were far from perfect, I can take some pride in saying “I’ve become my dad.” Sometimes it is from doing some mannerism the same way he did. Many times I have stumbled across the wisdom of why he did certain things because I have to do them more regularly.

More often than not, this is what the verse is taking about, passing life’s wisdom on to the next generation.

Are we exactly like our parents in every way?

No. But we learn from them how we might live, which affects what we believe and how we act.

Sadly, it does not mean if we raise children to be Christains they will remain so. But I do have friends who have left the church, but they believe that Christian morality is good.

In this sense, they have “not depart[ed] from it.”

Remember, we are not responsible for the salvation of others, merely for guiding them to truth and godly living.

Hell and destruction are before the Lord : how much more then the hearts of the children of men? -Proverbs 15:11, KJV

Over and over again Solomon reminds us that the fear of the Lord brings wisdom and life.

Our world attempts to create a god that would never punish or discipline people. But what did Jesus say?

“I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him!”
Luke 12:4‭-‬5, ESV

It is not the Devil who controls the realm of fiery torment. It is God. We should begin with a fear of the one who can send us there.

But He loves us enough to save us.

But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.”
Luke 18:16

Our fear should push us toward faith that He also made a way for us. His Son, Jesus, came and died for our sins and rose to life again to give us hope for the future.

We should have faith like a child who knows his father will not let him go when things get scary.

We can know that, although God created and maintains Hell, He cares more for those sons of Adam who hear His call to become born again sons of God.

When our youngest went to Peru on a month-long mission trip right before high school, I decided I would take advantage of her absence to clean her room. Thoroughly. As in a full-scale geological excavation.

I found a full laundry basket, only it was stratified with layers of clean, dirty, clean, etc. I unearthed underwear from elementary school, and (if I recall rightly) a hard, green mass under the bed reputed to be petrified Jello—lime, I think. Continue reading

I am at a venerable point in life when my adult children, (all in their 30’s at this writing), have been saying thing like,

“Mom, I heard you coming out of my mouth!”, or…

“Is that how Dad would treat Mom?”, or…

“I’m ‘channeling’ you, Mom”, and one of my personal favorites after the birth of a granddaughter,

“Mom, I’m sorry for all the #*@!! I put you through.”

It’s a time when you realize that something, by God’s grace, got through, is still getting through. Sometimes it sure seems like our kids just aren’t paying attention.

But they are. In more ways than one.

I love the New Living Translation header for Proverbs chapter 7:

“Another Warning about Immoral Women”

Emphasis on “another”. Just in case you missed the first one or two.

Can’t you just see the kid rolling his eyes? That whole oh-mom-do-we-have-to-talk-about-this-again attitude.

To which the obvious answer is emphatically affirmative. Because it’s critically important that the child is told why. Because they have friends who haven’t been told. Because there’s a society drooling in anticipation to ensnare him in something dangerous and deadly.

Like chapter five, this chapter isn’t just for the guys, either. And actually, taken as a whole, it can be seen as something more than sexual promiscuity, something far deeper and far more insidious—

Seduction.

How interesting that Babylon is personified in Revelation as a prostitute. Babylon, the representation of all that is anti-Christ, all that would seduce me away from Christ and set up her own kingdom within my heart. If I read Proverbs chapter seven and insert the word “Babylon” in place of “woman”, it brings out a whole new context. It forces me to look at myself, my decisions, my desires in an uncomfortable light.

Seduction. Undoubtedly, sex is one of the vehicles that the enemy perverts for this purpose. It’s definitely a strong one, but it’s only one. He has many options when it comes to seduction.

You know, like sex, all these can be good things! We need affirmation, I appreciate my husband’s detail to retirement preparation, and emotional security is important to every other kind of health, so that’s not the point. Instead, when these things (and there are many others) draw us away from God’s intended purpose—intimacy with Himself—then Seduction is at work…overtime!

I appreciate the in-your-face strategies that given in this same chapter, including 1st-person observation revealing the woman’s tricks, calling attention to the son’s heart (something sorely neglected in our day), the use of flattery, the lie of anonymity, and the advice to not even start down that path. It reminds me that I need some strategies as well…

“…so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.”

The words of the Parent ring just as true today, in all areas of life. I aspire to be an attentive child.

Children have an innate ability to (at least believe they) remember something you SAID.

Y’know, like, six months ago.

“But YOU PRO-O-O-M-I-S-E-D!!”

Busted!

Personally, I think it’s pretty humorous. Kids will keep you, if not broke, then at least honest, when the money goes for braces instead of a new(er) car, or into the college fund rather than a retirement fund. Disney over Cancun, that sort of thing.

Best not to tell a kid something unless you mean it. To them, our words are powerful, like a contract signed in blood, and once they know you’re sincere, they’ll be back for more. More encouragement, more love…more money. (Always more money.)

Interestingly, it can be similar to the spiritual realm—Heaven is listening to what we say. Unfortunately, Hell is also tuned in. Now, I have heard my husband say that the Holy Spirit is a gentleman; He doesn’t force Himself on anyone. He is forgiving and patient. Consider the Prodigal Son who walked away and then said, “oops!”

Satan,…not so much.

“…if you have trapped yourself by your agreement and are caught by what you said—”

I realize the context of this passage from Proverbs is concerned with signing off on someone else’s debt, but perhaps the principle has further applications. Author and counselor John Eldredge posits that we make spiritual agreements ALL THE TIME, sometimes in ways we don’t even realize:

“How can I be so stupid?!”

“I’ll never change.”

“I’m nothing but a mess.”

And with whom are we agreeing when we say these things? Certainly not God! His words over me are more along the lines of:

The challenge comes when I realize that I have a choice: just who will I believe? (Jesus paid dearly so that I could have that choice, BTW.) When I verbalize choices contrary to what God Himself says about me, I’m inviting spiritual influences in keeping with those decisions. Because that’s what my words are—decisions. Decisions to trust what I feel (or what the enemy is saying to me through a feeling) rather than the truth of God.

I can get trapped by that agreement.

The Good News, however, sets me free, since that’s what the Truth does. Always. Sure, I’m responsible for that freedom, but it’s paid for. Like a good Father, He promised.