My 17 month old shows a very very strong interest in other children, but when I take her to the park or the beach, as soon as she gets near them, they snatch all of their toys up off of the ground very defensively and run away. I know they don't mean it, but my little girl always looks at them as they take off as if to say "what did I do?" It's cute, but sad The kids that do seem to be interested in her only seem to be interested in bullying her or hurting her.

I can't find any playgroups anywhere. I'd love to find a like-minded, drama-free playgroup or even just one mom friend with a toddler her age so she could grow up with a friend. I don't have any friends and we are pretty anti-social because of some bad experiences we have had in the past. A friend would be great! I'm shy and I'm bad at meeting people because my social skills suck.

I have a car on the weekends and we can meet most anywhere in Hilo. We like the park and we go to Richardson's every weekend.

We do attachment parenting and practice a lot of natural living. We don't buy plastic toys or watch TV and I homeschool. I'm not very hippie at all, but I am very open to other people's lifestyles and I enjoy listening, so if you are a talker, that's great! I'm non-judgemental and non-confrontational. My daughter is gentle and does not hit or bully (but I guess time will tell), so if your baby is younger, that's okay.

Thanks! I hope there is someone out there for us!

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

You've probably already heard, but make sure you have lots of money saved up. There really are no jobs here, especially lately. It is very hard to get started here. It took us two years just to find jobs and a place to live. We had to stay in a tent for a year which is a LOT less exciting than it sounds at first

How old is your daughter?

And you can ask me ANYTHING you want to know about life here if you want. It's not at all like living on the mainland. It's very wonderful here, though. When are you planning on coming out?

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

Our lease here isn't up until May, so we're lookin' at moving in early June... I'm a massage therapist so I assumed I'd work at a spa, though I don't take too well to uppity folk! I'd rather work on locals for close to nothing, ya know? DP is a caregiver for medical marijuana patients...I don't know how you personally feel about that, but we know Hawaii is a green state so that's GREAT! He is longing for the ocean since he was born in California... I know you metioned living in a tent for awhile and I'd say we'd be good with that until we found a place. We're planning on saving $ over the next 6 or so months for the move. We can have our car shipped there? You're "allowed" to pitch a tent out there? ON THE BEACH? That would be so lovely, oh man, my heart is aching!!! Where did your family move from? Tell me about the area, the people, the overall lifestyle of Hilo... tell me it's worth it!

At first, we were contemplating Oregon for farmland, but we're putting that off for a few years. The Midwifery school I'm wanting to attend is in El Paso and we're not sure when we'll get around to that. It's a slow and awesome process. Baby steps are nice, but I am so impatient.

Oh, we don't have any spas here. No uppity folks, either. It's a pretty backwoods sort of town. Any massage therapy clinics around here probably are not hiring, they are only private businesses. You might have to start your own business. You'd probably never get anyone but locals. This is not a tourist area. You'd have to go to Maui or Honolulu for that. Also, everybody and their dog here is a massage therapist, so you'll have plenty to contend with. Not saying you can't do it, but it will be difficult so prepare to take a year or two to really get in regular business. I don't want to sound discouraging, just trying to help!

We are sort of the hippie mecca of the world here Anything along the lines of massage therapy, belly dancing, art, jewelrymaking, yoga or reiki or anything else like that is going to be completely saturated. It is so hard here. Whatever you do, you will have only local business, no tourists.

Hawaii is definitely a "green state" but not like you are thinking. If he just wants to sell, well people do that here all the time, just like anywhere else, but it's illegal. We do have a cannabis ministry downtown. Maybe he can contact them for some info. And yeah, I'm cool with people who do it (though we don't, ourselves) I don't think a single solitary soul here smokes it for any medical reason, but they DO smoke! But just like selling illegal drugs anywhere else, you have to contend with the law.

I hate to sound discouraging. Sorry! It's wonderful living here and it's not all bad, but almost everyone who comes finds they have to turn around and go back.

If you want something that will make money here, a lot of the more professional jobs do. If you have nursing training you can SO get a job here like *snap* that! We don't have enough doctors or nurses. Lawyers, insurance agents, things like that might do well. Real estate is bunk right now. If you want a job where someone else hires you, you have to take what you can get which could be anything and will most likely be minimum wage. I finally just gave up and started my own online business doing graphic design. My husband works for one of the big companies here - a fish company - which took him three years to find. Jobs go to the locals first, not usually newcomers. It's like you have to wait in an invisible line.

Hmm...let's see...I think they need teachers if you have a teaching degree. The schools here are BAD. I would never in my life consider sending my daughter. We are homeschooling. There is a Waldorf school here, though. I don't know how much it costs. If your husband has experience as a mechanic, he could maybe get a job.

It is a very small country town. Just imagine that. The jobs are going to be taken, so it will take a while to get settled. A lot of natural-minded people come expecting to be doing something they love, but end up just being homeless for a couple of years and end up having to go back. Just be prepared - it will be hard! But worthwhile We were homeless the first year. We picked fruit on a farm for money, but even working all day long in the hot sun and mosquitoes, the most we ever made between the two of us was $40 in one day. The other days we made about $10 between us.

DON'T live in a tent. Trust me. Wow, was that ever awful - and DANGEROUS. There are psycho meth heads everywhere here and gigantic stinging centipedes and if it's not freezing cold and pouring rain, it's sunny and burning hot and your tent will be like an oven. I can't even see how it would be possible with a baby. You can't just pitch a tent anywhere, no. (Besides, you don't want to camp on the beach. Freak waves are all too common.) We paid a guy to let us camp on his land - $1500 for one year. It was miserable and scary.

There ARE ways that you can make it, though! It's not impossible. And oh GOODNESS, YES it is so so worth it! I've got a toddler to deal with right now, but I'll be back with more info about the area and what it's like. You know, I should totally write some articles about it for others who want to move out.

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

Okay, the little one is asleep, the house is clean, and dinner is done.

So I thought I'd start with some of the wonderful things about living here in Hilo so I don't sound all doom and gloom. Then we'll get down to the nitty gritty of living here

Hilo is wonderful. It is never too hot and though it does get a little cold in winter, it is never too cold. The rain is beautiful. We hang out at Richardson's Beach which is just as pretty a little beach as you could want. The swimming is great for all age keiki and there are lots of them there to play with every time we go.

The water is warm in summer and there are sea turtles (honu) everywhere. There are coral reefs and lots of good snorkeling if you love to swim and look at colorful fish. Kehena, further south, is absolutely GORGEOUS. It is a clothing optional beach and very family friendly (also pot-friendly). There is a pod of dolphins that hangs out there a lot and if you are a very strong swimmer, you can swim out to them. They will swim all around you. It is amazing.

We have a pretty good library here in Hilo and the inside of the building is open with a courtyard in the middle. There are only walls on the outside. There is also an organic baby store (mostly for tiny babies, though) and an educational toy store in town. There are a few natural food stores.

Everyone is very laid back and so kind. It is like having family everywhere. We get a few tourists now and then who walk from the cruise ships down to the farmer's market when they dock, but it's not a touristy area, so they mostly stay on the ship.

It is such a wonderful place to raise a child. It is pretty safe as long as you are not living on the street. The educational opportunities are wonderful because we have so many different climate zones here. There is desert and tropical rainforest, ocean, snowy mountaintops, grassy valleys - oh, just everything you could want!

We have all kinds of free things. There is a bus system which is horrible, but I think it is still free. Busses only run a couple of times a day out to most places, though, so you will probably still need a car. There is a free zoo and a marine science center. There are all kinds of events in town and free concerts and things like that.

The air is the cleanest in the world. We have the least amount of pollution of any state. Our tap water is also clean. It is non-treated spring water right out of the ground. We don't drink treated wastewater here. The sunshine is warm and the rain is soothing to the soul. The mountains are magnificent and beautiful and the crystal clear ocean water will just take your breath away. It's just like swimming in an aquarium!

Hilo is one of the most affordable places in the country to live, but you have to know HOW to do it affordably. You can't live just like you've been living on the mainland. You'll have to make some major changes in what you eat, how often you drive, WHAT you drive, etc. If you work hard in the beginning, you can find a way to make it here. We did!

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

Like I said, jobs will be hard. If you come out here expecting it and being strong and ready, you can do it. Have enough money to get a massage table and possibly money to rent a parlor in town if you need it. You might be able to get in with someone here who has their own massage business if you pay them part of your earnings. I'm not sure. You can ask around.

I wouldn't camp. Really. It's a bad idea from personal experience. I can't even imagine it with a toddler. A couple of days for fun is one thing, but to live - no way! I will never ever do that again.

If you are looking for a cheap place to live right at first, I know of one. We stayed there. There is a guy in town who has three huge houses on his property. He rents out the rooms in the houses for cheap - like $300 a month or so. It's very quiet and the people there are pretty nice. The only downsides are that the bathrooms and kitchen are filthy because no one EVER cleans them (you'll probably have to do it yourself) and the kitchen is gross and rat-infested. Keep a mini-fridge in your room and a toaster oven. That's what we did. Also, they are Krishna and you must sign in your lease agreement that you will bring no meat or egg products into the building (pet food is OK). We ate vegetarian for a while, but it was yummy! The owner will supply beds and any furniture that he can for your room. It's an OK place to stay while you are looking for a job. I would stay there with a child over camping.

Summer is the cheapest time to fly, so June is good. Fly on a Tuesday or Wednesday. It's cheaper. If you have to buy a ticket for your LO, you might want to bring your car seat with you. Book a rental vehicle in advance or they will be all reserved when you get here and you'll be forced to rent something huge and really expensive.

Before, I said bring your own vehicle, but since the economy went bust, cars have been a lot cheaper. You can get something decent here now for $2-3k. If you need a van or a pickup, you might want to bring your own still. Depends. Personally, I'd sell my car at this point and get a new one here. It's not really worth it anymore.

SAVE SAVE SAVE your money now! Every single penny, truly! You may not find jobs for a few months. My friends just lost their home to foreclosure and moved to Oregon because they couldn't find any jobs here. It's so sad, too, because they told me it's just as bad in Portland. Save your money and live cheaply. Buy a vehicle outright, don't get a loan.

Also, don't ship your stuff out in a container. It's so expensive and you'll find you won't need it all here. Anyway, houses here are much smaller than on the mainland and clutter busting is awful. Everything molds. Don't bring anything with even a little leather on it. It will just turn to mold. We sold everything we had back in Texas and came with just a small suitcase each. The money helped and we found we didn't need all of that stuff here. If there are some small items you just cannot live without, pack them in small boxes and see if you have a family member who can store them for you and ship them out to you later when you have a place.

We really love the weather here. There are two seasons: winter and summer. It is still summer now. In summer, it is warm enough to go swimming. The days stay around 80 degrees if it's sunny. Sometimes it gets hotter or cooler. It rains every few days in summer, mostly at night, but sometimes during the day.

In winter, it can get a little cold. It gets down to about 50 some nights and in the morning I know that doesn't sound bad, but when your windows don't close and all you have is shorts and a bikini and a sheet on the bed, you freeze! The days are a little warmer. It's good to have a light jacket and some jeans and socks and maybe a sweater or a couple of sweat shirts. In winter it's usually cloudy with a few sunny days and it rains a lot. Toward the end of winter, we get about a solid month of rain without stopping. It's nice, though. I've never heard anyone complain about the weather, really.

It is HUMID here, especially in winter. Your hair is going to be wonky for a while until you get used to it. There's just no getting around that. Everything gets moldy, so keep things fresh and clean and air them out. Don't stick anything in a dark corner. Keep everything open to the air and light. Sometimes you will crawl into bed in the evenings and it will be WET, like you just pulled your sheets out of the dryer when they were only half dry and put them on the bed. It feels nasty, but you get used to it. You can put a heating blanket in the bed and turn it on half an hour before you get in to dry it out, then turn off the heating blanket while you are in the bed.

If you don't like noise when you sleep, bring earplugs. Most areas are infested with coqui frogs which are LOUD little chirpers and they go all night long without stopping. Thousands of them. It's too cold in winter, so it's nice and quiet. That's the only peace we get. My husband and I like the sound of them because we are used to them, but you may hate them. A lot of people do.

This is a very small town with a little bit of a country-style feeling. People all know each other. You'll see someone you know everywhere you go all the time. There isn't much here, so I hope you don't like shopping There is a Safeway and a Wal-Mart and an Office Max, Home Depot, Ross, and Border's Bookstore. That's about it for the chain places. We have a mall, but it is tiny and mostly empty now that the economy is shot. You won't be able to find what you want a lot of the time so you just have to do without. We have one regular movie theater and one dollar theater. I think there is also still a bowling alley.

Most people here are really wonderful. You'll notice that there are a few types of people. There are the locals who grew up here. Then there are the better-off haoles who live here and sort of fit in and sort of don't. They own a lot of the nicer houses. Then there are the hippies. Most of them are SUPER crunchy granola hippe, but others are less. Hubs and I are some of the least hippie of the hippies. We don't really fit in with that crowd entirely. We don't smoke pot or have the "look" that many of them do. There are many people here who are huge into Rasta and drumming and dreadlocks and (eww) not bathing, but not all of us are like that

Avoid fresh water areas where people swim and some of the more crunchy hangout areas if you can, especially with your little girl. We have a flesh-eating strain of staph that does not respond to any antibiotics and it gets passed around the homeless community a lot. It's scary, but totally avoidable. Hepatitis is a problem in those areas as well. We try to avoid them.

The lifestyle is wonderful. Most people here are very very poor, so we do with less. The cars are often kind of junky. People help each other out. There is so little here, that you kind of have to have friends to get anything done. We never would have survived without making friends. It's all about who you know, so make friends with people who are well-off. They will know someone who will know someone and that's how you'll be able to find a job or a place to live or a car or anything else you need.

The houses are tiny and everything is open. People don't usually have heating or air conditioning in their homes, so the windows are open to let the air through.

Land is extremely expensive, so businesses are TINY. You'd be amazed how much they can cram into a tiny store here all along the walls and on shelves. On the mainland, everything is sprawled out like they have too much space and are trying to take up as much as possible. Everything is tiny and cozy here.

We have mosquitoes that will suck you dry in ten minutes. Bring some Badger Balm mosquito repellent. Seriously. No other natural brands work and they don't sell the Badger Balm here. Most areas near the beaches don't have mosquitoes, but around your home will probably be infested wherever you live.

Most places here don't allow pets, especially dogs, so don't get any pets until you are settled in a permanent place. It could keep you from finding a place to live. We have two dogs and no one would rent to us. We were lucky to find a friend whose mother would rent to us because she knew us. We were turned down from so many places.

Do everything in your power to stay in Hilo. The hippie community tends to hang mostly down around Pahoa and the Puna area, but there are no jobs there. Not one. You'll have to get a job in town and you'll be driving so far to work every day that you'll spend about as much money in gas as you'll be making. Trust me. Been there. Done that.

Hmmm...

That's all the advice I can think of for now. I'll let you know if I come up with anything else later.

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

I'm gonna keep this short, but I'll come back in a bit to go into detail...the good news is we have friends out there! DP's friend is a contractor and he offered him a job so that's why we're moving in the first place! I don't smoke pot either, but DP does for his neck and back pain. Hawaii is a green state that allows legal medical marijuana use, so as long as he is growing and selling to legal patients only, he'd be in the clear. We plan to have $20,000 or more saved by June...thank you thank you thank you for all the advice! More later

If you're living on a pretty low budget like we are, you can get a lot of free or almost free clothes and things at the Kea'au dump. They have a recycle center there where you can leave things you no longer want but are still useful and anyone who wants it can come by and pick it up. Sometimes you have to pay a dollar or two for it. Clothes are usually free. I get a lot of our clothes there.

There are not many apartments here like on the mainland. Mostly everyone rents houses. There are too many houses here for everyone to live in, so a lot of people who own houses here but live on the mainland rent them out. We are living in a little house rented out by the owner who lives in Florida. Craigslist is the place to go to find rentals here, not rental websites. Locals like to deal locally. Most places are about $1000 a month, but you can rent a house for cheaper, sometimes as low as $500 a month. If you get a studio or a condo, you might pay a LOT less than that and most of the condos have beautiful ocean or water views and are furnished.

Here are a few good places that are currently available so you can sort of see what you are up against:

Things are hard to get here, so you won't find furniture that people are throwing out like on the mainland. Everyone here thinks that their ratty old couch with the dog pee stains and permanent marker on the left arm is still worth about $50, so if you can, get a place that is already furnished. Buying furniture is a pain. Sometimes you can find something decent on Freecycle or Craigslist, but not usually.

If you are able to have a professional appearance, you can get a job most anywhere. You could try the hotels or any of the larger chain places.

Because everyone is trying to make money here, a wise thing to do would be to start a business catering to those who are trying to earn a living. For example, I also do real estate photography. I take photos of properties that people are selling so that they look like magazine spreads rather than crappy flash photography photos. I also take photos of lots and properties for people on the mainland who buy the properties without seeing them. They don't want to pay for plane tickets to come all the way out, so they pay me to go to the property and get photos for them so they can sell it.

You could probably also find work easily doing housecleaning for people's rentals. A lot of property owners rent their homes as vacation rentals and need someone to clean the place after the tenants leave. You could easily do this with a toddler in tow.

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

I'm gonna keep this short, but I'll come back in a bit to go into detail...the good news is we have friends out there! DP's friend is a contractor and he offered him a job so that's why we're moving in the first place! I don't smoke pot either, but DP does for his neck and back pain. Hawaii is a green state that allows legal medical marijuana use, so as long as he is growing and selling to legal patients only, he'd be in the clear. We plan to have $20,000 or more saved by June...thank you thank you thank you for all the advice! More later

Oh, awesome! Well, if you have a job lined up for him then you guys are doing AWESOME. Contract work is good here because of all of the building right now.

And wow, I didn't know Hawaii allowed medical marijuana use. Everyone told me it didn't, but your hubby probably knows a lot more about that than I do.

And yes, 20k is perfect We started with only half that!

I am so in love with this place, really! I don't ever see myself leaving. Even after five years here, I still wake up every day and think how lucky and thankful I am to be living here. It is the most wonderful place in the whole world.

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

hello, I am moving to Hawaii next week, just wanted to say hello and meet some new ladies/friends!!! I have 3 little ones who are 6,4,and 2. We are a natural living family, like homebirth, homeschool, cloth diaper,breast feed ect... I am also a homebirth midwife. So Nice to meet you all!!

hello, I am moving to Hawaii next week, just wanted to say hello and meet some new ladies/friends!!! I have 3 little ones who are 6,4,and 2. We are a natural living family, like homebirth, homeschool, cloth diaper,breast feed ect... I am also a homebirth midwife. So Nice to meet you all!!

Aloha! What part of Hawaii will you be moving to? You are going to love it here!

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

Hi, I saw your messages on line and was wondering if you still live in Hilo?? My sister lives there and is having a really hard time at the moment. I think a playgroup or some friends would be VERY helpful to her. She has 2 adult children, 2 teens and a 2yr old. You sound like such friendly people......would you be interested.......maybe there is an email address I can pass along to her?? She isn't the type to put herself out there.....but......I know this probably seems/sounds strange.

Aloha, Steffanie! Is your sister into natural parenting or anything like that? We have a natural parenting group on Facebook and we meet up sometimes. There are also LLL meetings and homeschool meetings if she's a homeschooler or unschooler.

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

Hi, I'm so glad you replied to my message. My sister used to be, she used to be very natural, homeschooling, but I think she is just so lost at the moment she's forgotten about some of the things that meant so much to her :( That's why I reached out to you, to try and get her on the right path again.

What is your facebook group link? I'll pass on the information to her!

Hey!
My name is Melissa and I live here up in Pepeekeo. I am a nanny to a 2 and a half month girl and a 2 year old boy! I would love to get together with some other kids for the kids I watch! Let me know if you are available for a get together or if you already have a group I would love a chance to join in!