Travel Jam: Stolen Wallet

Don't Let Your Summer Vacation Get Ruined By This

The predicament

Your overseas summer trip has finally begun, and three days into your trip, as you reach into your shorts pockets for your wallet to pay for lunch, you realize your wallet has been stolen. Suddenly, you have no bank cards, no cash and no money with which to make a phone call. What do you do?

The Alpha Male-in-overdrive solution

Someone's to blame here, clearly. You make a beeline for the waitress and berate her for what's happened. Did she know there are thieves in her establishment? Or maybe she's the culprit! When she offers little in the way of reaction, you move on to the rest of the staff. They raise their eyebrows at you and say nothing, so you storm back to the hotel and chew out the receptionist in the lobby. What you don't realize is that the more you yell at people in a language they don't understand (or in a very bad version of their native language), the less they're listening to you. Finally, out of people to get pissed at, you call your bank from your hotel room and give a good tongue-lashing to the poor guy working at the call center. By the time you've finished freaking out, it turns out the thieves have spent approximately $890 from your bank account, which you now have to wait for the bank to agree to pay back.

The Beta Male solution

When you realize your wallet's gone, you go into a state of panic. Everyone always says that in case of emergency, head to your embassy, so you walk halfway across the city (since you have no cab fare) to grovel at their door. You frantically relate your sob story to the cute woman at reception, and she kindly informs you that the embassy is really only there to help you in case of a serious emergency, and this doesn't exactly qualify. You can't imagine how she could not think this was a crisis of massive proportions. Desperate, you ask her what you should do next. She takes pity on you and lets you use her computer so you can find your bank's customer service line and call them up. You ask to use the phone in the embassy lobby, and you call your mom for much-needed sympathy and ask her to wire you $100 by Western Union. When you hang up, the receptionist firmly asks you to leave, because you're starting to creep her out.

The AM Man solution

Lucky for you, AM man, you always carry a couple of bills in your boot in case you find yourself in a cash-free pinch. An AM man also travels with a cell phone that has an international plan, and barring that, has a Skype account. Duck into the closest internet cafe to access your bank's contact info, and call them first thing to get your bank card invalidated and to dispute any new charges. Have your bank send your hotel a new card via priority shipping if possible, but if your itinerary doesn't allow time for that, call Western Union and wire yourself enough money to see you through the end of your journey. Since that only took about 15 minutes, take the opportunity to call your DMV and request a new driver's license be issued, so you might even have it waiting for you in the mailbox when you return home.

Having taken care of this rather unpleasant but ultimately minor setback, head to the nearest bar with a sports game on and treat yourself to a cold one. Let the tension melt away while enjoying the game. It doesn't matter what sport is on — soccer, rubgy, cricket, basketball — if there are fellow fans, you'll get into it.