Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public*Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.A public forum.Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi Pearl

A GCM Statement: It is Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl

This statement may be re-posted in its entirety.

The admins of Gentle Christian Mothers (GCM) have felt led at this time, as we mourn the loss of seven year old Lydia Shatz[1], to issue a statement of disagreement with Michael and Debi Pearl and their child rearing methods. Not only are their methods extreme and outside the realm of normal and healthy child rearing practices, but the doctrinal foundation for these methods contain a level of heresy, including denial of the Christian doctrine of original sin[2][3], which leave them without biblical basis and at odds with the truth that all are in need of salvation which has been provided through Jesus alone[4].

Though the Pearls affirm the value of relationships in parenting in their attractive "tying heartstrings" message, their harsh teachings are in diametric contrast to building healthy relationships. They advocate "training" and "chastisement" of children, starting in infancy[5][6], using methods and means not described in Scripture -- including using ¼ inch plumber’s supply line as a spanking instrument[7] and claiming that a "proper spanking leaves children without breath to complain"[8] -- for stated purposes of absolving guilt and cleansing the child's soul[9].

The combination of an adversarial us vs. them mindset where the parents must "win," physically "disciplining" children until they surrender their will and show total submission, and false doctrine makes the Pearls' methods dangerous. They present a very distorted picture to the world of what it means to be a follower of Jesus and a Christian parent in the world today. It is time for Michael and Debi Pearl to be held accountable for their teachings. We urge other Christians to join us in speaking out against what Michael and Debi Pearl have been teaching for far too long.

Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

Just wanted to say "thank you" for this! It seems that the "To Train Up a Child" is the number one book people contact me about. I love having this statement to return to as I advocate for gentle discipline. Even as I'm just meeting all of you here, I'm so thankful for you! Blessings on you and your work, ladies. I'm honoured to be here and learn from you.

Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

Thank you for standing for the Love that exists in the Life of Jesus. I appreciate this heartfelt response after reading some of 'To Train Up a Child' and feeling a bit confused at whether such tactics are really necessary for parenting children responsibly.

When I spanked my children it felt wrong and I asked the Creator for alternatives. In that my heart has awakened...

I realize we each have our own journey and I hope each parent looks inside their heart to find the answers. Books and experts have their place, but the heart is pure.

Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

I'm shocked to read articles on the link. This is the first time I heard/read this philosophy. Oh my God... Satan is totally involved in this, I'm pretty sure !! Satan could use a verse and turn it into his own meaning, not God's. Scary !

Re: A GCM Statement: It's Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael & Debi P

Thank you so much for sharing this! Until now, I had no idea what the Pearls' teachings were about, although I am familiar with their names. I am definitely going to do more research and speak out against these teachings.

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