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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida couple, who prolonged police standoff to have sex
'one last time'.
Details at Boneheads
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Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and
Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor
Charles VI.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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You can pretend to be serious;
you can't pretend to be witty.
--- Sacha Guitry (1885 - 1957)
Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic,
but one of them is paranoid
and the other one is out to get her.
--- Hillary
"Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking
at girls and persuade themselves they have a better
idea."
--- John Ciardi
"Modern Art" ? Isn't that an oxymoron like "Dry Water",
which, according to people in the military is like
"Military Intelligence" ?
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty
scarce."
--- Mark Twain
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Mother: "How's your history paper coming?"
Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use
the Internet for research and it's been very helpful."
Mother: "Really?"
Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell
history papers on that topic!"
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A lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.
While she was waiting for her date, she wanted to make
sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in
her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she
accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter
walks up.
Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced,
knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to
the waiter and demands "Stop That!"
The waiter looks at her dryly and says
"Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34,
Leanne Hunn, 30, ,
Jacksonville,
Florida
Couple Prolongs Police Standoff To Have Sex
'One Last Time'
Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, and Leanne Hunn, 30, allegedly
refused to surrender to police until they could have sex
together one last time.
A standoff began Wednesday night when Jacksonville Sheriffs
responded to a call about Michael Forte, 34, who was wanted
on several warrants including armed burglary,
FirstCoastNews.com reports.
A Jacksonville Sheriffs Office spokeswoman said deputies
were also looking for Bautista, who also had several
warrants, including armed burglary.
Bautista and Hunn reacted to the police visit by
barricading themselves inside a mobile home and refusing
to leave for more than six hours, according to
News4Jax.com.
Three other adults were inside the home at the time police
arrived, but one woman was allowed to leave a short time
later.
Police said Hunn and Bautista detained another woman by
dragging her to a back bedroom where she was held down,
according to the website.
That woman was eventually allowed to leave, but Hunn and
Bautista refused to exit the mobile home. Hostage
negotiators were called to the scene and attempted to
communicate with the couple via phone and bullhorns,
according to Jacksonville.com.
At some point during the standoff, Hunn told police she
would give herself up but not until she had sex with
Bautista “one last time,” according to the website.
Hunn never did come out on her own. Eventually, officers
broke into the mobile home and arrested the couple.
Bautista and Hunn were arrested and charged with resisting
police and false imprisonment, according to CBS News. They
are currently in the Duval County Jail.
The couple apparently had an audience for their "last time"
lovemaking session.
Turns out Forte, the subject of the original phone tip, was
also in the mobile home.
Forte was arrested and charged with possession of a weapon
by a convicted felon, armed robbery, and murder, according
to Inside Edition.
Forte is currently being held in the Duval County jail on
charges of murder, armed robbery with a firearm or other
deadly weapon and possession of a weapon by a felon,
according to jail records.
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Tech Support Pits
From: Annalisa
Re: Desktop messed up
Dear Webby
Windoze has done it AGAIN. Totally screwed up my perfectly
organized desktop and just moved all icons in one disorganized
pile on the left side, while I was not even near the computer.
When I saw that, this prim and proper lady used some VERY foul
language!
What have you got to keep me from cussing like that?
Annalisa
Dear Annalisa
I got an add-on that installed itself into the right-click
menu for saving or restoring the desktop. Unfortunately, I
got that probably half a dozen years ago and have long
forgotten where I got it from.
Try right-clicking the desktop and see if you have that
add-on.
In case you don't have that, I searched for an alternative.
I tested it, and it is clean and works well.
Go to Desktop OK and
Download the program at Desktop OK Program
You have to unzip it and then run it.
Don't get flustered by the many options in it! Just look
at the Auto-Save, tell it to save 32 back-ups, and to
save when Windows shuts down.
Saving every 15 minutes is available, but in my opinion
not a good idea. That could possibly save right after
Windows messes up your desktop.
If you have time and inclination, you can play with the
ton of options in there, but it works fine as is.
If it looks like it disappeared, click the double upwards
arrows in the right bottom, beside the W10 nagger. That
shows you programs, that are running in the background.
One of them is a white mini desktop with some colored
dots in it. That's Desktop OK.
If you want to restore the desktop, you can select which
saved version you want.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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A preacher wanted to mail a letter home when he
arrived in this small town where he was to to preach a
sermon. He asked a young boy where the post office
was. When the boy told him, he thanked him and said,
"If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening,
you can hear me telling everyone how to get to
Heaven."
"Huh! the boy huffed, "You don't even know your way to
the post office."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Shower Curtain Rings as Hangers
Each time you buy a new shower curtain it comes with a new
set of curtain rings which are not always needed. You can
use these in your wardrobe to save space by hooking them
onto a clothes hanger.
You can then hang vests, ties belts and scarves from the
rings
By ShirleyE [26]
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

_____________________________________________________
A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat,
leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid
asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?"
The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects
me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put
it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it
protects me then, too."
"Why do you wear that leather vest?"
"It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has
pockets where I can keep my cigarettes and matches."
"Well, why do you wear leather chaps?"
"They protect my legs when I'm riding my horse through
rough bushes."
"Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked,
"Why do you wear sneakers instead of cowboy boots ?"
"That's so people won't think I'm a truck driver."
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This one is a classic, but good enough to see again:
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his
employees about an urgent problem with one of the
computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number
and was greeted with a child's whispered,
"Hello?"
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk
to a youngster the boss asked,
"Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise
of the boss, the small voice whispered,
"No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes",
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No".
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child
would be left home alone, the boss decided he would
just leave a message with the person who should be
there watching over the child.
"Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked
the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's
home, the boss asked
"May I speak with the policeman"?
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?, asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the
whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what
sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the
phone the boss asked,
"What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?", asked the boss, now
alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered,
"The search team just landed the hello-copper in the sandbox!"
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little
frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"?
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a
muffled giggle:
"They're looking for me."
____________________________________________________

Large-scale land art by
Stan Herd, known as the "Father of Crop Art."

Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and
Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor
Charles VI.
1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of America’s
colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all citizens of the
colonies "discountenance and discourage all horse racing and
all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, exhibitions of shows, plays
and other expensive diversions and entertainment."
1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase.
1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between
the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel.
1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for
Independence.
1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman Phineus
T. (P.T.) Barnum.
1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning a
' dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District of
Alaska.
1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series
game for the first time.
1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that
took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist
Headquarters.
1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve
in Germany.
1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines.
1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and
Dubrovnik were liberated.
1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American
Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist
influence within the motion picture industry.
1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya.
1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis.
1979 The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was dedicated.
1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to limit
the violence in their programs.
1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched.
1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that banned
atomic blasts in the South Pacific.
2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety
devices and survived. He was charged with illegally performing
a stunt.
2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets.
2015 smiled.

The number of mammograms donated thanks to clicks has dropped quite noticeably
when these two ladies went away. So here they are back, working hard to get
you to click. Donate by clicking!BreastCancer
SiteA free click helps to donate mammograms to women who
can not afford one.

Tech Support Pits: Re: Not getting a subscription
... not getting my subscription newsletters, not just the Humor Letter, but
others too. I can't re-sub- scribe because I am still on the list....

Dear Friends, If you are on the list, then the subscriptions are sent out
TOWARDS you. If you don't see them, then either you or your ISP are blocking
them.

Complaining to me won't fix your or your ISP's spam block. Check your spam
control program and, if necessary, white-list the missing subscription or
declare it as friendly. If your spam control program is OK, contact your
ISP.

If you are using one of those address collectors that pretend to be email
verification programs, but ask for people to fill out all kinds of information,
forget it!
NO newsletter send program will even click on a verification link, never
mind filling out some silly junkmail order form. If you want a newsletter,
it is up to YOU, to make sure that you are not blocking it.

The Humor Letter is no exception, except that you can still read it here,
on-line, at http://webby.com/humor,
even if you are blocking it in the mail.