Samuel L. Jackson is Basically the Coolest Guy on the Planet

It's over, everybody. It's time to just give up, pack it in and go home. Because no one else on earth is ever going to be cooler than this dude right here: Samuel L. Jackson. And if you're going to be all "oh, shut up, your opinion is stupid and I am too much of a Negative Nancy to even remotely agree with anything you say," then sit down, friend, and read these amazing quotes for yourself:

On his not-so-cool childhood:

"Oh hell no, I was not the cool guy growing up. I was bookish. I had a stutter. I wasn’t in the streets with all the other kids. I didn’t dress cool or do cool s---. I played the trumpet, flute and French horn in the marching band and had great style on the field when we performed, but that wasn’t the cool thing to do. I was popular because I was funny. I definitely didn’t have the hot chicks. The atmosphere in the house was one of love, with a lot of joy, but I also had discipline—and a curfew."

More on being an incredibly awesome kid:

"My mom’s rule was that for every five comic books I read, I had to read a classic. I read Shakespeare and Beowulf while other kids were learning how to diagram sentences and learning to conjugate so they could fill out job applications. My fantasies weren’t inspired by John Wayne but by Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Dumas’s The Three Musketeers. When I was in the room by myself reading, I would stand in front of the mirror pretending to be all those people in the books. I was acting for myself before I ever did it for anybody else."

On being an incredibly awesome adult, too:

"The other day I’m watching this white guy talking to black people on TV, and all of a sudden he’s saying stuff like “Pump your brakes” and “I got you,” these new politically cool terms that kind of came out of hip-hop and blackness. I’m thinking, We do still speak English, right? Though sometimes I wonder. So yeah, it still happens. But the whole language and culture are different now. I’ll be reading scripts and the screenwriter mistakes “your” for “you’re.” On Twitter someone will write, “Your an idiot,” and I’ll go, “No, you’re an idiot,” and all my Twitterphiles will go, “Hey, Sam Jackson, he’s the grammar police.” I’ll take that. Somebody needs to be. I mean, we have newscasters who don’t even know how to conjugate verbs, something Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow never had problems with. How the f--- did we become a society where mediocrity is acceptable?"

On tweeting about Alzheimer's:

"I mostly just write inane s--- on Twitter, criticizing sporting events more than anything else. But my grandfather had Alzheimer’s, my maternal and paternal grandmothers had it, my mom died from it last year, her sister’s got it. Because it’s around me like that, I’m kind of waiting on that day I walk in a room and don’t know why I’m there. I’m going to do all I can to help people because of that, with a golf fund-raiser in London, and I’m also doing a benefit for male cancer. People wear pink ribbons all the time, as if women are the only people who get cancer. Men get it too, so we’re going to try to raise awareness. I’m doing what I can."

What he wants people to say about him after this death:

"That I was a hard worker and I generally gave people their money’s worth. That’s all you want from a movie star. I mean, I’m not trying to change the world. I’m just trying to entertain people."

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