Dating and STDs: How to Tell a Partner the Truth

With an STD, life may feel very different than before the disease. People may feel subject to stigma, judgments, and stereotypes. They may be hesitant to reveal their STD to anyone, especially potential romantic partners, for fear of rejection.

It can be hard to date and find the right person with an STD – but it’s not impossible. The right person will still want to be with someone who has an STD because of all of their great qualities. The STD will be just another part of life to deal with, and in exchange, they’ll get a partner who is willing to brave the hard stuff with them – symptoms, treatment, STD testing, and finding ways to be intimate safely.

Broaching the Subject of a Sexually Transmitted Disease with a Potential Partner

The right time to tell a date about an STD will be different for everyone. The main thing to keep in mind is that this is not something one should just blurt out whenever the mood strikes them. It’s a delicate topic that affects quite a few aspects of dating and intimacy and should be approached with care and consideration.

To that end, people should wait until they have formed a bond with someone they’re dating before they have a talk. They should get to know each other and genuinely like each other. That way, the other person can weigh whether or not they are willing to stay against how much they like and enjoy spending time with the affected person.

When the time comes for the affected person to sit down and have a talk with their potential partner, or the person they’re dating in Frisco, TX, there are three general rules for doing so:

It should be at a time when a bond has formed, but things have not gone any further. This way, the other person can walk away without too much heartache on either end, but at the same time, there is still good reason to stick around, because of genuine like and attraction.

Always have this conversation before getting intimate is even on the table. If a person tends to get intimate first and build the relationship later, they need to rethink that approach now that they have an STD – it’s just not safe or responsible anymore.

Never have this conversation when things are starting to heat up. Not only is this unfair to the other person, it’s exactly the wrong moment to drop a bomb because emotions are already heightened.

Tips for Psyching Up to Have “the Talk” About STDs and STD Testing

Many people will probably feel really nervous about revealing their STD to their potential partner. They may stress about being judged and rejected.

The thing is, rejection is a part of normal dating. Everyone gets rejected at some point in their life, and it’s never the end of the world. Better to get rejected now and find someone better than stay in a relationship that is not built on trust. If the worst-case scenario happens – for instance, if the other person is mean, insulting, or refuses to listen to anything else the person with the STD has to say – then they are probably not worth the time, anyway.

There are some ways to make having the talk easier besides getting comfortable with the idea of rejection:

Meet up in a place that feels safe and neutral. This will make the person who has to break the news feel more comfortable and in control.

Practice on a willing friend or family member. Play out different scenarios (rejection, acceptance, confusion, etc.) in order to get a good feel for what to say in each instance.

Keep calm and speak with confidence. This is a fact of the affected person’s life, not something to apologize for. The goal should be to impart information so that the other person can make a good decision about the relationship that feels true to their needs.

Don’t expect a bad response: the worst is more likely to happen that way. Instead, people with STDs should assume they will be accepted – this will influence how calmly and confidently they will speak, not to mention help them avoid approaching the topic like an emotional wreck.

Come prepared with information about the STD: how it’s transmitted, what the symptoms are like, and the risks for the other person. Having reassuring information ready can help, too, such as ways to take precautions to prevent transmission, as well as alternate ways to be intimate that are not risky.

Accept the outcome. Many people will not stay after hearing that the person they’re newly dating has a sexually transmitted disease, but, on the other hand, more will be willing to work together and be understanding for the sake of a promising connection.

Whatever their choice, it is theirs to make. If the other person seems to be acting hastily, the affected person can offer to give them time to think, but it’s best to remember that their ultimate decision may still be rejection.

On the other hand, a “yes” may feel wonderful and like a huge validation, but it does not equal a good relationship. The STD will still be a standing issue for the two people who are involved, and they’ll still have to figure out ways to handle it together responsibly.

Dating and STDs don’t have to be mutually exclusive in Plano, TX. Finding the right person might take more work, but if the affected person doesn’t give up, the odds are more likely that they’ll run into someone who will be crazy about them, infection or no infection. The bottom line is that the right person will not run and hide, but will stick around because they see a future together first and foremost – not a problem they have to deal with.