No more multitasking during kid time

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions!This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we’re writing about how we want to parent differently — or the same — in the New Year. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

A new baby.
A new year.
A new dedication to my children.

I’m not setting any resolutions this year, but I plan to make a more conscience effort to put my children first, to set aside or put off what I want to do when they need or want me. That doesn’t mean I am going to neglect myself, but I will spend my “me time” when the kids are sleeping or occupying themselves in another room, not when they are trying to get my attention.

I’ve spent too long trying to do too many things at once. I might be browsing through blogs, nursing the baby and spelling a word for Grace, all while thinking about what we can have for lunch. I want to focus my attention fully on the task at hand, with the kid-related tasks getting priority.

I plan to spend more time reading, playing games, doing puzzles, answering questions fully, snuggling, singing, dancing, tucking in and being silly.

And I want to be more consistent with our rules. It’s too easy now for the kids to convince me to let them do something “just this one time” because I’m too busy with something else to physically enforce a “no” answer or my mind is too occupied with something else to even realize what I’m saying “yes” or “no” to.

I’m hoping that these two things — spending more productive time with the kids and being more consistent — will reduce the need for discipline, especially with Connor. But I’m also reading “Time In: When Time-Out Doesn’t Work,” which advocates an approach intended to teach children what behaviors are appropriate and why, rather than punishing them for “bad” behavior.

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19 Responses to “No more multitasking during kid time”

Sounds like a great plan for the year – I think you’ll find both of these bring you the results you are after. We’re all guilty of not giving our fullest attention to our kids or saying yes for an easy life – so go you!

Great ideas! I keep saying I’m going to be more fully present, its hard for me because I’m never just doing one thing. Even at work I have multiple projects running through my head. I’d love for you to blog about your tips for remaining focused or avoiding distractions as you travel this road!

Sounds like a step in the right direction. Perhaps is will help you with your previous blog posting of Crafting Your Life. Perhaps right now your position in life is to be a parent first and all of the other things you listed fall after that.

I’ve never read the time-in book, but it has to be a better concept than time-outs!
Have you ever read Playful Parenting (Cohen) or Unconditional Parenting (Kohn)? Both are great resources for alternatives to time-outs.

So many of us want to be more present with the kids. I think it speaks to a) the demanding nature of parenting b) our way too high expectations of what we can get done each day and… well I can’t think of a c), other than it must be human nature to do what we are all doing- which is trying to do housework and/or blog while being with the kids.

I, too, am trying to not wear too many hats at once. I don’t want to parent by the clock or to always be distracted. When it’s time for me to play with my children, let us play and take the phone off the hook and forget about the heaping pile of laundry. I’m a Type Aer, so this is a constant struggle for me. However, my to-do list can wait. I don’t want to miss out on these precious years with my little ones. Thanks for the reminder. God bless.

Good luck, I too want to ‘Be Present’ for my family, truly present and attending to our needs and wants before those of the outside world. I too think this will help you with reducing the need for discipline as misbehaviour is so often in response to attention seeking, being tired or hungry (needs being met) or inappropriate exploration – which children are less likely to get away with when Mama is paying attention.