Monday, September 12, 2011

Mawwiage

The Princess Bride wedding has one of the greatest movie weddings. On my wedding day, I kept saying it to myself. "Mawwiage, Twue Wove". It is brilliant. This weekend we are flying to Wisconsin to celebrate my brother in law Nick's marriage to the beautiful and brilliant Sophie. I am very excited to add another girl to the Lindemann side of the family. We are outnumbered.

Parenting has added a whole new dynamic to my marriage. I feel like we just started a new level in the marriage video game. When you have been with someone for a decade, you know how to push one another's buttons. Our ability to get under the other skins and annoy each other is truly an art form. In the exhaustion of caring for a child, it is easy to resort to picking on one another. It is also tempting to play the blame game " I did this, well I did that." In the stress of work and life, our instinct is to lash out at the person we love the most.

The other night Justin and I had one of those talks. The brutally honest lay it on the table kind of talk. The we are going to put our heads down and push through to other side talk. What I love about those talks, is that even though they are hard and heartbreaking they take us to another level of intimacy. We actively chose to show one another our biggest fears, to be vulnerable and trust that the other person wasn't going to run. Every time we have one these talks, I feel like we just added another brick to the foundation of our lives.

The other side of being together for a decade, is that that foundation is thick and strong. It is easier to be honest about our fears because we have weathered many storms together. To me this is where true love comes in. I love romance (and long for a romantic dinner at an amazing restaurant), but true love shows up at the hard moments. It pushes up it sleeves and digs in. True love is making the choice you don't want to, because it is better for the other person. True love is carrying your partner when they don't have the strength to do it themselves. It is loving someone even when you know all the bad stuff, in fact you sort of love the bad stuff too.

Marriage is work. In order to stay strong, you have to put in the time. You must be vigilant and watch for cracks in the foundation. At times it can require all you have to give, but the rewards are so great that the sacrifice is easier. I am so thankful that I get to go through life with Justin. He is so perfectly made for me. Even his stubbornness, which drives me crazy, is the perfect balance to my domineering tendencies.

As I prepare for this weekend's celebration, I can't help but think of my own wedding day and the moment they opened door and I saw him at the altar. It sounds cheesy, but the whole world telescoped in on him and I don't remember anyone else from that night. It felt so right. I hope that Nick and Sophie enjoy a lifetime of happiness. Only one more Lindemann boy to marry off.....