Justin Trudeau Makes Official Visit to Mennonite Church Wearing Rubber Boots and Suspenders

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau brought along an entourage of more than three hundred people to the small Mennonite town of Altona, Manitoba this past week and out of respect for the local culture, each one of them was sporting traditional Mennonite attire.

“I didn’t have time to grow out my beard, but I did manage to pick up a pair of suspenders and rubber boots at the local K-Mart,” explained Trudeau. “And you should see Sophie in her flower dress and rollerblades. Stunning!”

The Prime Minister and the rest of his crew stayed just long enough to hear the end of Pastor Johan sermon on humility, before joining the congregation in a rousing rendition of “The Church in the Wildwood.”

“I spent the entire service with my thumb tucked behind my suspenders just like the Mennonites do in the pictures I’ve seen,” said Trudeau. “Sophie and I even asked the kids to teach us some words of Plautdietsch. What exactly does ‘schmock heena been‘ mean again?”

The visit ended with a brief faspa in the church basement, where the Prime Minister spoke with the locals about farming, trade, and the price of flax these days.

“This trade mission to Altona will be quite the boon to our two nations,” said Trudeau. “Any time I can leave a place with an ice cream pail full of molasses cookies is a success in my books.”

Altona EMB church members were delighted at the presence of the Prime Minister, but hoped that next time he’d scape the mud off his boots at the door.

Related Articles

Stop stealing all our best ideas, hipsters! Mennonites don’t want to be “hip.” We’ve made concerted efforts over the last few centuries to be the most uncool people you can imagine, so we’d appreciate if […]

WASHINGTON, DC Just days after Donald Trump told Fox News that he planned to build a wall to keep Mennonites out of the country, the Republican Presidential hopeful is now accusing outgoing President Obama of being a “secret […]

WASHINGTON, DC After months of negotiation, President Trump has finally been able to pass his controversial tax reform bill. The bill offers sweeping changes to who gets taxed in America and by how much. “I […]