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Friday, January 27, 2012

Day 7: almost there

Smoothie 7? Check!

OK, so as I mentioned elsewhere, this was a tough morning, one on which I nearly caved and made myself a delectable slice of toast. Which would be completely absurd considering that I'm almost done, have almost completed this 7-day body cleanse de-tox that I embarked on last Saturday with the wonderful Dr. Kate Tenney, ND. How silly would that be, to bail when the finish line is in sight? It's really amazing how many rationalizations my little brain came up with, one after another, reasons why it really doesn't matter one way or the other which day it is, etc., etc., and you know you're just going back to the wheat-teat anyway, just get it over with.

Reminded me of this, by Peter Bregman, on why it's hard to keep resolutions. It's not the motivation. We generally have that in spades. It's follow-through. It's not letting our brains derail us. Like mine almost did this morning.

I'm not going to lie. With the end so near, the oh-fuck-it voice was the loudest. But instead of reaching for my beloved Dave's Killer Bread when I opened the freezer, instead it was the frozen mixed berries, of which I had just enough left for this morning's smoothie. And because, honestly, at this point the taste of the so-called Medical Food is something I'm so over, yes, I threw a banana in there. And then wondered, while drinking down its deliciousness, whether that was really so different after all than caving in to the bread.

Look, the list of things I've learned from this 7-day experience is long. I think finally the whole food pH thing has really sunk in to a bone-level with me, something I've been resisting ever since Crazy Loretta (my former eyebrow technician) became its chief apostle about 10 years ago. [Come to think of it, Crazy Loretta has been on the cusp on a lot of health issues, not just the pH, but she was the first person I ever heard talk about green juice, loaned me books years and years ago on the subject. Hmmmm, crazy but prescient? Interesting. But still crazy.] Also, I have a new and deep appreciation for how sweet actual food can be, like aforementioned banana. An apple? Completely candy sweet. So good. And of all the things I've been craving -- toast, steak, toast, butter, cream in my coffee -- note that sugar hasn't come up once. No chocolate? That's nuts! I thought I couldn't live without it and now look at me, doing just fine.

I'm not sure what I will do tomorrow, how I will return to the Land of the Eating. I do not, DO NOT, want to have become a fussy eater who says No to everything and has to bring her own food everywhere and is on some stringent impossible plan. But I do want more greens on my plate and I want to stay plugged in to this awareness of how my food feels once I've eaten it. That's just so precious. And hard-won.