About "Me"

Ahem, Me is in the prime of life. Me holds a PhD and is trying to be jobless. Me masquerades the time spent on the net as doing research in Artificial Intelligence. Me desists from praising 'myself', so I won't proceed further :D ...

Friday, December 31, 2004

Again...yes. Will return at the restart of the sem. Did some good work in my project yesterday (actually day-before-yesterday). Worked hard today morning but it was an unsuccesful idea. Need better ideas.........
Went to school on Christmas day. That is the annual alumni meet. Alumni meet! Our class contained only 40 students and we were just the 5th batch. So, its pretty evident the number of alumni that we have:D. Anyway 100 people showed up. Couldnt recognise most of the people. The only people i seem to remember are our immediate senior batch. Ofcourse, my class too. I wont forget them. Was able to recognise most of the immediate juniors but couldnt recollect their names. Well what else can you expect if you had the minimal interaction that is possible. Going to these meets every year doesnt seem to be helping either. The achievements of the alumni were a few jobs and mostly seats in good institutions. Good institutions would translate to national institutions in Engineering and any institution offering Mbbs. And all such succesful persons were asked to share a few words. My friend's advice was - 'dont study much.' This advice was given to those who are experiencing hell-on-earth in those famed corporate intermediate colleges. I was more restrained and just told them to enjoy whatever they did. I dont think anyone listened to it anyway.

"The people of this country survive on hope and hype" ..... now who could be the contributor of this quotation??

Notice : This is the last post on this blog.
in the year 2004 AD i.e.

How am i going to ring-in the new year?
By doing one of my favourite things.....Sleep.
Btw, Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Yes...i am back again..another short stay. Have been watching and reading about the Disaster a lot. Feel very bad. The jump in the numbers is really shocking. And then if you consider that each of those that make up those numbers is not just a dead person but a great numbing loss to a family, most probably a poor one, its really really ...what can i say. And then comes the fact of the rescue operations. A massive rescue operation is underway. Mass graves are being dug! A lot of people are still missing. And a lot of people will be missed forever. And what can we do? A small monetary contribution at the maximum. People go on about their lives. Reading the news as they would any other. Maybe sometimes discuss the tragedy with their friends, make a small contribution, rarely. Yeah, relief organisations have rushed to the affected areas, aid has been rushed etc etc. But, thats it. A few voluntary workers are facing the hardships which they neednt face and helping those who had to face the consequences of a small hiccup of this mother earth. The most tragic part is that most of the people who are suffering are so poor that they had to struggle for their daily existence even before the waves turned murderers. Those same waves, to see which, to experience which, to enjoy which people have travelled half way across the world and ended up at Thailand and Sri lanka.
A lot of things i found to distaste. One being that the news people report that some 10,000 are dead in Srilanka and then in the same breath say that some 40 tourists are missing in Thailand. Not just that, they also covered a story about a tourist stranded there who is planning to wait a few more days and make something of his supposed vacation. Okay, maybe they need other stories than just dead numbers, but i feel that, maybe i imagine a difference in the way the news is reported about the dead fishermen and the dead tourists.
Anyways, what am i doing about it, the disaster i mean. Nothing. Maybe filling some blogspace and also spending some of my time reading about it. None of these actions is going to be of any benefit to those out there. At this moment, i wonder, why do people have wars and riots, shouldnt those energies be better utilised in fighting against the evil side of nature? Ofcourse, but that doesnt mean that the people would drop their guns and trishuls. Nothing is going to change. Yeah, other than the duration of the day (according to some news).

Thursday, December 23, 2004

But we did come second....They gave us some sort of mementos and a small trophy. They mentioned a lot of times that maybe we should have used more time. Afterall, we didnt even use half the time. But it doesnt matter. I cant see how more time would have made any change. I guess they didnt like our 'confidence'. Btw, along with those things they also awarded us each 7k. So that make my total earnings till now in my life to be around 18k. All in less than 8 months. Hope it continues. :D
But should i say that i lost 3k? Because the winners got 10k each. And i still think that we should have won. Thanks Jaggu n Anubhav.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Yeah....just back from the contest. It was a programming contest. Scheduled from 9am to 9pm. Yes 12 hours. Just one question. Our programming efficiency, techniques, style, documentation, approach and design (not in any order) would be evaluated. We were supposed to report at the centre at 8:30am. It is conducted by a Company, so the way it is organised is pretty good. Typical IIITians that we were, we arrived at the centre at 9. We actually got confused and first went to another office of theirs, which was in the same area, then we were redirected to the actual venue where the contest was being held. Reading the problem and understanding it, and a doubts clarification session went on till 10. Then the three of us actually started discussing the algorithm that we need to apply. We concluded that it would need a Dijkstra with a slight modification for the cost. Actually more than a slight modification, i guess. Anyways, it did look surprising that they gave just this one problem for whole 12 hours. We had the thrice ACM-returned Jagan in our team. So he implemented the Heap quite quickly, by which time, the rest two of us finalised on the final algorithm. They gave us Windows to work on. That was a major difficulty. Though to make the task easier, they did give the unix simulator cygwin. So, the code was compilation error free by 12:30. And it worked at the first attempt!!! Ofcourse we already checked the heap. But i thought that we would atleast make a few logical errors. But i guess, three people looking at the same screen parallelly minimises that probability. Then we started testing with a few more cases. Verifying the output is slightly painstaking. We did not find any error. So then we modularised it and ate our lunch. Removed the unnnecessary part, commented and wrote the required documentation. Meanwhile, the volunteers came to know that we seemed to have finished it, well within half the given time. so many of them used to come and see the output etc. Everything seemed to have been over by 3. I guess we could have written more about our approach and design whatever, but we limited it to what was essential. Jagan was already getting ready to leave. So we left at 3:30, though the contest is suppposed to end at 9pm.
The result will be known tomorrow i guess. I hope we win. I cant find any problem with the code. But the problem seems so simple, that many teams would be able to solve it i guess. But then, what would be their selection criteria. I just hope we win........ Atleast we were the first to complete it.
Well.....though i didnt contribute much, i seem to be very tired. Back to bed.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Started on the project with lots of raging doubts. Had many a thought of dropping it, especially looking at the discussion by the other teams, i stand nowhere compared to them. But am currently trying to do something. Going to a contest tomorrow. No, it has nothing to do with my project. Representing the College along with two seniors. Hopefully will do well. Will blog tomorrow...hopefully again...

Saturday, December 18, 2004

so, dont worry, i will go back soon. Actually tomorrow morning. Dont worry again. I ll be back next week. And will stay for some time. Its really lonely here. With the population having dwindled to one-tenth of the usual, it has to be lonely i guess. I am still stuck with the problem. Have no idea what i am going to do. The actual problem is actually very simple. The cause is also very simple. Lack of proper work on my part and my project partners in the preceding sem. It has now landed me in a soup. Then i had two others also to share my work. And in the whole sem what we actually accomplished comes to some 15% of what is the total work required. Now, a few days back, just before i went home, i found out that i need to complete the rest 85% by feb 1st. And the deadline cant be extended because it is in no one's hands. :((
Well, if it had been clear what i needed to do, maybe i could accomplish it. But, i have no idea what the 50% of the 85% should be. I have no idea whatsoever. To top it all of, i am alone now. What can be worse? Yeah, my project guide has no idea about my present predicament. I dare not let him now. I m in really really deep deep deep mess. With no way out. Quite a pessimist, am i not?

I felt like writing a poem. Wrote two lines. They sucked so much that i abandoned the effort and hastily deleted the two lines :D

There was a time
when all was well
the clock would chime
and ring would the bell

The people worked hard
faithfully and happily
there wasnt a soul sad
everything was just jolly

Then came the dark clouds
A large army descended
harsh and cruel crowds
everything now, they commanded

With the dark clouds
came the white shrouds
people started to fear
frightened to even come near

they hid in their homes
their farms withered away
the whole village mourns
the price they had to pay

Price that they paid
for not being prepared
for what befall them
no army had they ever reared

Suffering quietly they waited
waited for a saviour
a saviour they waited
with a lot of fervour

Soon they gave up hope
started to live again
accepting the fate, learning to cope
the freedom, a dream remain

I will end the poem here, a sad ending to reflect my sad mood :D:D
Will some one please title my poems ??? Pleaeaeaeasssseeeeee. Or maybe they arent even worth to be titled? I guess so. Atleast i wouldnt spend time on it. :D
So this blog officially ends here.
Unofficially, the two lines i initially wrote without an iota of thought were -
A flickering light
slick......now i dont even remember...cool :)

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Monday, December 13, 2004

I was frustrated too early. I shouldnt have been frustrated in the last post. Because if i was frustrated then, now what should i be? I cant find any appropriate adjective. Helpless. Hopeless. Tired...Yes tired. Tired of it all. Of everything. I dont want to sit in front of this computer. Or for that matter any computer. It has become the only way of life. To talk to your neighbour, you use yahoo. To vent your frustration you use blogspot. What is the purpose. Everything comes with the digital signature. Digital everything. I just want to go out and smell the air. Not roses, dont really like them.
I am gone. Totally gone. This is the end

Saturday, December 11, 2004

It took a long time to load this page. By the way, should i change my template? Make it different and not use these ready-made ones? Nah, who will go through the trouble. Of course, if anyone else is willing to do it for me...it is a different matter...
Anyways, this is a frustrated person typing here. Frustrated due to a lot of unnatural causes. It started in the morning and hasnt ended yet. As if my own personal frustration wasnt enough, some other people met me and reeled on about a few things adding to my burgeoning frustration. A little of frustration it started with, and has become huge now. Is there no end to this? I feel helpless. And irritated. And a lot more. Also am totally disappointed by the attitude of the people. Of my own attitude too. Frustration and disappointment go hand in hand. And the person to whom those hands belong....someone help him!

Not always i had
this wonderful thought.
not good, not bad
nothing it brought.

A decent amount
of a little thought
may accidentally bring out
something cold, something hot.

What am i saying
You have no idea
The city Seoul being
the capital of South Korea

Lying far away in the far east
South of its brother North.
They were once the same
they still are, just with a different name

But why should i talk about them
There is no reason
So strange, so out of season
so let me try, another exhibition

Looking around, searching the area
my mind fails to grasp a single idea
So i try vigorously again
is this poem, a C program without a main?

It may have various functions
and also a lot of declarations
but do i need to mention
without the main, there is no compilation

When you are a little down
a lot of attempts are made
to push you downer and downer
so that you totally fade

As you grapple harder
with the fear looming
and shout murder murder
you find the yourself dooming
forever.

yes, I can use words
that do not exist
because sooner they will
come into our midst

word for word, rhyme for rhyme
paisa for paisa, dime for dime
dollar for dollar, rupee for rupee
can I be more absurdy?

Thursday, December 09, 2004

A strange ...i dont know what. I am writing this post since sleeping at 3:30 am did not appeal to me. :D Neither did it appeal to Su. He is awake too. Well, this post should have some real content. Well, lets see....seeing.......seeing......couldnt find anything. Sorry, but this post will not buck the trend. Watched a few episodes of Wonder Years today. I remember that show being aired on TV long back, but never really watched it then. Saw a season at a stetch. It was fun initially but later somehow got boring. Some episodes gave the impression that the children (in US) are concerned only about the guy/gal they want to go steady with. This 12 yr old, the protagonist, is confused about his relationships blah blah. So which system is better? There, where you are considered despicable if you dont have a girlfriend/boyfriend, or here where it is not so common to have one. There it gets too complicated, peer pressure affects you a lot regarding it, will have to face major disapointments quite early etc and here, where sometimes you may just wish that you were there and not here. Hmmm
A few more days left for the official holidays to begin. They will be preceded with the sports days and the Amalgam - a cultural event.
Really need to start working on the rescue thing, now that i am alone, it could be tougher. But then again, what is the point of it all? Does anything really make a difference? Make a difference in what? What is actually relevant to a person? Does that person know? How would he know? How can anyone decide his priorities?? But why should a person even care about his priorities etc. Then what should a person care about? Okay, will stop this questioning session. These questions succeed in doing nothing.
Actually heard from people about a talk that they attended today. Apparently the speaker went on trying to prove how good india was in the past, how it was on top, how it was ahead in many aspects etc. We always hear it. That this person has said that India should be commended for its contributions like 0, numerals etc, Or that India was one of the first places with the city structures (Harappa stuff). All that is fine. India was great in the past. Was at the top of the world. Most developed, i agree. But i just feel that, instead of gloating about the past greatness, we should think about what can be done to improve its present state. Hey, i am speaking like a leader in some public meeting. :D
Actually, wanted to write about something else too, but have forgotten it due to the disturbance caused by chatting. So i guess, this is the end of this post.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Didnt go out of hyderabad for three years and then i go twice in a fortnight. Thats what is called random distribution. This trip was a much longer than the previous one. Took more than four days, had to go all the way to Bhubhaneswar and back. It is only the second time that i had to wait in a station for four hours for a train! The last time, some 10 years ago, i strongly recollect that the culprit was the same Falaknuma Superfast Express. Reached the destination some six hours behind schedule. As usual, i slept through the journey. Couldnt keep my eyes open. Ofcourse, the fact that my temperature was a little on the higher side also contributed to it. Reached BBSR and were taken to my Cousin's house, the one whose marriage was to take place. Soon got sick of hearing how thin i was. Had to gulp down four rosogullas as soon as i reached. All my protests were met with 'how thin you are'... Strangely, i found that everyone excluding me looked fat! I guess they viewed it the other way round. The bridegroom, that is my cousin is a nice looking six-footed 30 yr old Doctor. But the bride was actually 6 days younger to me!! Isnt 10 years too big a gap?? Another factor that could add to their communication gap is that while my cousin knows telugu barely, she doesnt know either hindi or oriya, only telugu. Presently they were conversing in English!!! Arranged marriage...hmm
Many were remarking that it's my brother's turn next...:-S
Cant help comparing the food i had on both the trips. While I had excellent Andhra fare on the previous trip, i had to eat mish-mash sort of stuff on this one. All the curries bore an uncanny resemblance and their ingredients seemed to be all the available vegetables. Reminded me of our great student-controlled-IIIT mess. :(
So i returned today after a few hectic days. Well no respite here either. I was totally busy from the time i stepped foot into the institute. I am lucky to have a break now. Thanks to our director who is too busy to discuss our project today. Looks like work was waiting for me. :((. I am unable to find any free time in the coming days either. Will have to go now...Hey what was i supposed to do now?? Better make a list right now -
Tonite -
Threads
Newspapers Sponsorships
STDM project discussion.
Tomorrow -
A class in the morning, i heard rumours about a open book test :( The problem is not that there is a test (am not going to prepare or anything) but that i dont even have the textbook. By the way, what is the textbook? Havent yet seen it :D, I hope IIIT profs dont blog. :-S
Meeting with Camel soon after the class reg STDM project.
Meeting the director immediately after that (today's was postponed right?)
Another class (Will not attend, hopefully)
Another class immediately after that (Have to attend, since i need to take it. :D )
And then the clock will toll 4:30 pm :)

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

I got a C in English Literature! Initially was given a B (why???) and then the great rules of the administration here made it C. They allege that my attendance is 68%. As far as i remember, i didnt miss more than four classes. Of that, three were because i had to attend MAS. So i just missed one class voluntarily. Actually, it wasnt voluntary either. The previous night, i had slept at 5 am, (early morning it should be called i guess) and i wasnt able to wake up in time for the class. Well, that means that i never willingly missed an English class yet my attendance precentage is 68 and hence my grade was brought down by two. The question that may rise in your mind is when i didnt miss classes, how come i have just 68%? Well, a lot of factors went into that. First of all each class contrbutes more than 3% of the 100%. Hence missing four classes itself brings it closer to the danger area. Added to that, he didnt use to take attendance in all the classes. Even when he took, i wasnt marked present since i was as usual late by a few minutes. Disregarding all the attendance too, there was only one A and 3 A- out of the 35 or so students. We get better grades in any IT course. What is the problem with these people?? Well, in other courses, many people who got A were given F!! What the hell is the problem with these people? If a person is able to perform well without even attending the classes, then why should he be given F? Actually he should be given A+.
Rest of what i wanted to say will be told later...

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Yeah....i already have fifty posts. So i guess that established me as a non-frivolous blogger. Though of all the fifty posts only a miniscule must really make sense. This is the last sensible thing in this post. Because whatever is going to follow this is being typed by a person who desperately needs some sleep but is feeling too bored to sleep. Too bored to sleep! Whatever happened to me. I guess the root cause is that i am frightened of all the work that tomorrow is going to bring. It is obviously my fault. I had the whole week to do it. But why should i? Whats the point of trying to do something if there is still time left? Why even attempt something that is easily solvable? Why not sleep when you really need it??

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

I am blogging after what seems to be a long time. Have been pretty busy all this time. A new sem has started, registered for courses went to the town for two days, have again become a TA and a lot of other things have occurred.
Went home on 16th night after the registration as we had to leave on the next day morning to the town to attend the ceremony. That was when i realised that i was actually going out of hyderabad after three years :-O Three years!!! The last time i sat in a train i didnt even knew in which branch in would be graduating!! I didnt even know to move the mouse properly then! That is sure a long time.
Woke up early morning on 17th, i didnt feel like i slept at all. So after the initial rush, we were sitting comfortably in the train waiting for the 5 hr journey to begin. Surprisingly the train was full, almost. I expected these two days to refresh me. And i expected it to start in the train itself. Maybe it would have, had i not spent most of the time sleeping. :D
So reached my grandparents place by afternoon. We went out of the station. I was surprised to see so many Autos, a sign that the place was expanding. So my mom asked a rickshaw wallah whether he would take us to my uncle/aunts hospital. I mean thats how we refer to the area where we needed to go. Everyone seems to know them. She asked him (in telugu ofcourse), "will u take us to So n so's hospital??" He said sure and after some bargaining about the price, i had a not so pleasant rickshaw ride. A few roads were being relaid so he took a new route. My mom found herself in unknown territory and asked him where we were, then he said that we were going towards their home!(Thats where we actually wanted to go, but we used to give the hospital which was nearby). So he even knew their home. Finally we reached home. I mean my grandparents home.
A lot of people were there, but there werent as many as i thought would. Not that i knew any. Iknow no one other than the close relatives. But everyone seemed to know me. Even the miniscule minority who didnt know me earlier, would know me now, as i was introduced to them by the other majority. But i knew none, before, none now. I was tired of hearing that i had grown thin, this that blah blah.
I guess they all would have got the idea that i am a studious, aloof, shy kind of guy who just reads books. Well its not my fault. I didnt know what else to do ? The younger cousin, whose house it was, brought a few books out on the first day. So most of the first evening was spent reading goosebumps(i had always wanted to know how they were) and other such children books. The remaining time was spent sleeping. As if all the sleep wasnt enough, i also slept through the night thus missing the actual ceremony for which we had come. :D
The next morning was spent at the new house. (It was a house warming ceremony) So finally returned late afternoon after lunch. The rest of the evening of this second day was dedicated to sleep and His Highness Abdul Kalam. Wings of Fire. Though i didnt complete it as it was looking as if i preferred books to people which was actually true in that case. :D:D
So finally the night, we boarded the train again and i reached sweet hyderabad after two whole days. Afterall, hyd is Hyd. Soon i was back in the institute attending Software Engineering.
I had a few good experiences too. I was pleased to find a few people who were knowledgeable about a lot of things including IITs,IIITs etc. Also there was a nice discussion in which a US returned old man explained to another traditional kind of old man, how people practise their religion and compromise their beliefs according to their ease. His points against superstition were quite good, though now i dont remember any.
Also my Uncle and Aunt are really very sweet people. Etc.
A trip after a long time. Thats what it is.
I am submitting this post without previewing it since i do not have the patience to read such a big and boring post. No idea how you have been able to do it. :P
i have a feeling that a lot of chat-typing style must have crept in this post.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Its more than 24 hrs that i am back in the institute. Spent most of the time watching movies or playing. I dont know why, but now i am in a very strange sort of mood. I feel bored. Bored of everything. Dont feel like doing anything at all. Nothing at all. Doing nothing. Thats a good thing. But i dont even want to do that. I dont want to work, dont want to sleep, dont want to play, dont want to talk, dont want to watch any movie, dont want to chat, dont want to blog either!
A new sem is about to start. I have changed a lot. Others have changed too. The world itself has changed a lot. But then again, its all the same. I cant figure out any difference. Yes, a lot has changed. So what? Its the same if looked at in a certain way. I am too bored!! I know. I better stop before i go crazy.......

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

So i am finally going home today, 5 days after my exams were over. I was among the first whose exams were over, and am among the last to leave the hostel. But i will be back soon. Or so i think. My mood may change once i go home. Will sleep peacefully for the next three days, sleep all the time, morning, evening and night. Just 3 more sems left, then i will be an Engineer! I cant imagine. Well, the oh-so silly post that is below this one, to put an end to that ambiguity, well here it is - the whole thing has passed now. It was okay but now i dont seem to have any sort of feelings for it anymore. What am i writing? I am not making any sense. Lets just forget about it. :D
Corrected the papers yesterday night/today morning with considerable help from dilip. I am still here also because of him. He is yet to complete his assignment. Do it soon, i want to go now!
Copying Calvin n Hobbes onto my pc currently. I think it contains all the newspaper issues. Bill Watterson just rocks!!
It finished copying....and that signals the end of this post.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Another day and my exams would be over. Not that i had worked for them or anything, yet just for the relief. The rest of this post has nothing to do with exams.
Two more days, hopefully. Will it be how i thought it would be? Dont know. Thought about it a lot of times. Had a lot of apprehension whenever i imagined about it. But now, when it is so near, i feel somehow calm and content. This is usually the case. Actually now i have even stopped thinking about it. Just waiting for it. Also started having second thoughts about whether i really want it. Or should it deferred? Deferred! Something for which i had been waiting for so long. Deferred!! What am i thinking? Am i not ready for it? How else can i be ready? Ofcourse i was not expecting it so soon. I thought it would take some time. But it was so sudden, came to know about it just a couple of days back. Right when i was about to start preparing for Networks. Now that i successfully lost any chance for a decent grade in it, i just hope i dont get a D or anything. Oops, I think i said that nothing in this post will be concerned with exams. Felt quite relieved today, just one more left. Had no idea what to do after the writing the literature exam. So went and talked for some time with the Calculus guy. Then came back to sweet room, tejo too came and we decided to watch a movie. I suggested Collateral and he acceeded after reading the review. Copied the first cd and started watching it while the second cd was being copied. I guess we both werent in the mood to watch a movie. Were looking at the screen passively having no idea of what conversation was taking place in that cab. Finally the second cd didnt copy. No disk space left! Hence we quit watching the movie, not that we were really watching it, but formally announced the demise of the idea of watching a movie. I came back to sit in front of the pc. And now as i am typing this, he is peacefully sleeping on my bed. :)
ps - I had to make a lot of effort to type in correct english and not in chat slang. #:-S

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Wrote an exam today. It was in two parts. The first one contained 50 1-mark questions which we had to answer in 75 mins. I think i did pretty okay in that. Then came the second part which was open book. We could carry anything we want to the examination hall. But in reality this is just a hint to you telling that you wont find any book helpful in answering these questions. I did take my text and note book. I looked at the questions. Solved on which was for 5 marks out of the total 50 in five minutes. Later i kept staring at the question paper trying to figure what i should do. I searched the book for some time only to realise that it was of no use. So after dilly-dallying for another half an hour, i finally started wrting something. By then just 45 more minutes were left. I completed it, though i am not at all sure whether what i wrote was even remotely connected to what we were supposed to write. Then i solved another problem only to realise later that i had done it totally wrong. Will surely get a 0 for that one. The last question, i had no idea, what was expected. So i did nothing about it.
I am only thankful that hopefully i wont have to attend another class taken by that guy. You can never be sure, he can easily give F to anyone. :(

Three more days and i would have completed my fifth sem in this institure. Too fast i feel. I remember the other day when i had joined the college. What will i do after a year n half ?
Who cares.......me? I hope so. :D

Want to be abstract now but am not in the mood hence this is the end of this post.

Friday, October 29, 2004

Sometimses, u feel lost and gone..all out. And a single day changes all that. All the problems that looked daunting now seem insignificant. The sunlight has broken throught the clouds..blah blah..... Just felt totally out yesterday...but now today has rejuvenated me. Do consider the fact that i am saying this after a hectic day in which i have already been awake for some 20hrs continuously.
Thanx to mani, we hopefully have qualified. Mani rocks.

The mind is ecstatic,
but the eye is going static
they fight with each other
and the result is drastic

Refuse to cooperate any longer
No signals the eye sends
no orders the mind gives
their obstinacy, neither mends

Will be continued (my eyes r drooping so much that i am unable to look at the screen) Gudnite.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Why do people put filters in pine? They put filters like personal, for all mails addressed specifically to them. And each time they check mail, they need to go each such folder and check whether they got a mail. It would be much less work if they let such mails remain in their inbox. I think you should not use something just because you know how to use it. I could be being a bit harsh. Ofcourse filters are quite useful when you are expecting a large amount of mails regarding a specific topic etc. Filter or no filters, mails will still come.
I dont think i can stay without checking mail every half an hour. I have become a 200-pine freak.

Havent advanced a line in this post after the previous one as i am being continuously bombarded with IMs. This sentence is coming after a long time. I did a queer thing today in literature class. Did not feel interested in what he was talking about, and i just felt like writing something, so i started writing. I wrote down most of what he said along with my comments which went on for some 6 pages. I dont remember writing this much notes after the first year (maybe not even then). I ll put them all on site someday, the day which grants me with infinite patience.

I realised that one can most creative in the early mornings after a good nights sleep which unfortunately is a rarity for me. Even then, the only progress that i made in my story has been early in the mornings.

What is the point of life anyway? What would happen to the toppers if they get an F in networks ?? What difference would it make to life if my sentence ended with the this word? What am i writing anyway? Am i going crazy? Or are you? Is this a question? Will it have an answer? Should i preview this or post directly? Should i even post this?

Saturday, October 23, 2004

rain rain come again and again
the sun is just a pain
all other seasons are vain

Wrote that contest yesterday, some questions were too easy, and some too tough. Most of the time was spent in trying to parse the input (by mostly everybody). So i guess that means that the questions could have been better. Twice again next week. I hope we will atleast qualify from IIIT :D if not more.

An excellent book can be written about our lives here at IIIT. I think much better than that 5.someone. :D:D I suppose it is not as realistic as it could be. Especially about the fact that they work for some 3 hrs everyday for their 5 cg!! Here, i dont think anyone other than the 10-pointer reads so much. They also had to call it a plan with a nice sounding name for what we do usually here - copying assignments. Maybe things were different during the 90's in iits. I have no idea. The part about the girl was well written. I guess that must have been the best way to get a girl into the picture. All in all, the book was an excellent one. Quite interesting and funny. Even those who dont read often have been reading this book in one go. Also i guess this book is the closest to our life here. All this reminds me that pending story. :( Need to write soon. But what!!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Almost a week since my last post. Evidently i have been very busy. At no point during this duration were both me and my pc free at the same time. Spent a lot of money in these few days too :( . But i also got my second pay :D.

Popl test, what a good experience. Studied intermittently between 2 and 3 in the morning, for actually some 15 mins. Then another 15 mins before going to write the exam. By the way, this subject doesnt deserve any more of our time. The best part was that, no studying was required for the questions asked in the exam. I thank the prof :D
Some people were quite tensed even about this exam. Below is a chat conversation which lead to a funny situation.

myownsiddharth: u there
mythalez: yeah
myownsiddharth: from where are u studying calculus
mythalez: frm shantinarayan
myownsiddharth: is that a book
mythalez: yeah
myownsiddharth: urs
mythalez: yeah
myownsiddharth: can u lend it to me
myownsiddharth: after u read
mythalez: ok
mythalez: if u want it u can take it now
myownsiddharth: when
mythalez: coz i need it later
myownsiddharth: wat time
mythalez: come here and take it
mythalez: now
myownsiddharth: i will take it for the night
myownsiddharth: say after 12
mythalez: no i'l need it at night
myownsiddharth: till wat time time
mythalez: if u want it take it frm me now
myownsiddharth: when do u want it back
mythalez: till 5 in the morning
mythalez: any time
myownsiddharth: till wat time i can keep it with ya
mythalez: till say 12
myownsiddharth: can i take it again at 5
myownsiddharth: or 6
myownsiddharth: in the morn
mythalez: yeah sure
myownsiddharth: i'll be there in 10 mins
mythalez: ok
myownsiddharth: bye
mythalez: bye
mythalez: n
myownsiddharth: wat
myownsiddharth: i am coming
mythalez: ok

that was dilip chatting as mythalez from my pc. Coincidentally i had one 50 year old Shanti Narayanan book in my room. So here comes the guy, looking for the book. I hand it over to him as soon as he enters my room. Then he starts looking in it for the topic 'lambda calculus'. :D
For the ignoramuses, Shanti narayanan is the author of a famous book on calculus (of the diff, integral kind) where as lambda calculus is something related to programming.
Asks questions like "kahan hain yaar, differential mein hai ki integral main ? etc" After a lot of searching in the book, he gives up and pleads me to either point out the relevant pages to him or teach him myself. We gave a lot of subtle hints, but he was too tensed to even understand that someone's leg is being pulled.
Finally, had to ask him - "what did u think? Differential calculus, Integral Calculus, and then Lambda calculus??"
Poor guy :D:D:D

Friday, October 15, 2004

A sigret is a sigret. Sometimes, one just feels in a certain different way. It may not have a reason, no apparent cause. Do not feel good, actually feel horrible. No apparent reason. Feel a lacking, what is it? Dont have a clear idea. But somehow feel that it could be some thing. Not even confident about the analysis. Then reminiscence throws up some vague notions. Then start thinking about those incidents. Start a whole lot of thinking processes. A small lacking may ignite a big desire(i am sick of this word, but cant find any suitable substitute). So then memories about the various feeble attempts made are remembered. Then, patience as a virtue seems to be the ideal one to exercise. But the whole problem had arisen due to too long a wait, hasnt it? Any small attempt may be preempted by hundreds of apprehensions. So, in the end, what comes out is nothing. But maybe just a stupid post :P

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Why the hell am i sitting in front of this intelligent box at 3 in the night when i have nothing to do and have had insufficient sleep the past few days? Because i have become a day-sleeper, cant fall asleep at night. I looked at my orkut profile. It gives an impression that i sleep all the time, which is totally contrary to the actual fact :((. What has IIIT done to me! From someone who slept for more than 9 hrs to someone who doesnt even sleep for 4 hrs sometimes!! Why am i cribbing, by the way? No one is stopping me from falling asleep, its all my fault any way :D.
The guilty condemns the crime.

Looked at my blog...and realised that all the time i either talk about myself or crib about lack of sleep :D. Better change the attitude of my posts, something different is required.

Abstract once again -

I know that i neednt do it. Neednt wait for it. It is of no use. Most probably, the wait would be in vain, if not, the gain wouldnt be much anyway. But the loss due to waiting like this most of the time could be immense. The loss has not been determined as yet. But it has a very wide range. But the little spark of hope is never extinguished. (Remembered today's english class, 'sight and speech extinguished') Its not that if the hope hadnt been, then i would have moved on. Would still stay there in despair. Despair! Why? No idea. Since none is present. The fingers type what makes not much sense. The reader attempts to comprehend the maze but fails and just moves on to either the next post, next blog, or something else. I look at this later and think, what was i trying to say anyway? Well, i wasnt trying to say anything, was just trying to fill up space and time. Fill time....pass time until the time is up. But time as it is ...moves on by itself.
A none-ug3-IIITian has viewed my blog. I just hope he hasnt read one particular post.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

A time of the day, everyone walking around, going about their own business, not really giving a damn about anyone or anything else. There is that old one, rushing along as usual, late as usual, yet trying to be on time, as usual. But no, there is some difference today. Some imperceptible change. Not noticeable unless you tried hard to notice it. An attempt to distinguish something that was supposed to be hidden rarely meets with success. But, there is some difference today. Clearly visible to those who care to notice it. But what about those who prefer to continue their lives ignoring any scent of change, acting as if it is just an temporary thing that would disappear in a millisecond? Going about, not even acknowledging the difference that is so obvious to others? But who constitute the others? a very small majority i suppose. A small majority? Well, yes since the other big majority does not even bother to utlilise their voting rights.
But the change is quite distinguishable. They all know it, just fear to acknowledge it. Every now and then, a small movmement gives away this fact. A small look on those faces which strive as anything to be straight gives away their secret. Its not the eyes that are blind, but the mind. The mind is not blind either, it just refuses to open the eyes. Well maybe, the mind's eyes are open too, they just refuse to focus.
All of them refusing to accept the change in the hope that it is nothing but a dream whereas a dream if any is what they are living in.
Better to understand the reality and suffer than to be happy in an illusion. Because then, when the reality strikes, it strikes too hard.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Was very pleasant to watch and feel. But slept through most of it. Then had to spend the rest of the time studying :(. It would have been great to go out and spend some time walking with the cool wind. No.....not writing a poem...dont wrry.
A question lingering, which one is better? Open book exam or a closed one? I thought open book because then we wouldnt need to read much, but many prefer closed book as they say that open book question papers are very tough compared to the other kind.
I actually had to think of what to write now! Very strange. Writing or not writing, blogging is a good pastime. I think i will end this post here, am unable to figure out what to write about. And whatever i am conjuring is not making any sense, and am forced to delete the whole line...

Saturday, October 09, 2004

I am writing this post since i have nothing else to do. Or rather not interested in doing anything.
How often does orkut open without an error? Cant believe that it's also a google offspring. DF is truly working...but i want better threads. The present ones arent so interesting. Neither are my posts :D. Finally i am back on some decent sleeping schedule.
Saving Private Ryan, an awesome movie, though i knew that long before actually watching it, i dont think any war movie can get more realistic.
My post is resembling any other normal post which one can see on innumerable blogs!! NOoo! need to do something about it.
A story is to be written. The author doesnt actually want to write it. But he had a choice and he chose this one. So now he has to write one. Writing a story is no big deal. But when there is a need to write one, then it does not seem so easy. Stories..innumerable must have been told till now. A lot more are still left untold. Will there come a time when no new stories are left? I mean can the human race exhaust all possible stories ?? Well that is impossible. But what about the core theme of the stories. I mean can there be infinite themes as well ?
I just pose questions.
On similar lines, what about the possible tunes ? I mean music wise.

Windows, why are u so hard on me :(. I just hope i am third time lucky .......
Let me warn you, anymore trouble, i might as well install someother OS........

Monday, October 04, 2004

Well, after a lot of sleeping in the past few days, theres none today. The sun is about to rise now. Hey, earlier people used to wake up early to watch sunrise, nowadays we just need to sleep late to do the same thing. :D

A streak of light through the dreary night,
misty hue in air, hanging with all its might.

Last week was a hectic one (again!!) I guess my blog is getting boring, if i keep on ranting about my 'hectic weeks'. The Musical Nite was simply a superb affair. Insomnia rocked! They were jsut superb. Played like professionals. Acted like them too. The second string band wasn't lacking behind in any way either. Kiran's 'Zombie' was just mind-blowing. I dont see how anyone can get more closer to the original. Have been listening to Cranberries for the past five days. All the time spent in trying to get a decent folk dance for Vayu went in vain. Finally, the western ones came to rescue and did some folk,otherwise, we may not have had an entry at all! Danced all the time during the 'dance party'. Amazed myself, never expected to dance that much.
Why am i writing my daily stuff here? Dont i have anything better to do? I dont know. Felt like writing a post so i am doing it.
Ravi was reading my blog someday, and then he moved onto other things. I asked him whether he found it boring, he truthfully replied in the affirmative. So i thought about how a blog can be interesting. I guess it will only be interesting to someone, if the topic being discussed is of interest to that person.
" Interest lies in the mind of the Reader"
In this case, i suppose i as a person am not so interesting to him :D.
This blog id is 7331341. I think this would be my 32nd post. Till now there are some 31 comments excluding some 3 were lost due to haloscan. I cant obtain the statistics regarding the number of lines, words etc, or can i? Hey, i can - i have written some 6652 words till now, excluding this post. It also says that i had some 97 profile views till now, and that my average is two posts per week. I guess the average time that i write a post would be around 2:30 am. I hope that my parents dont come to know this. They would be aghast to know that i stay awake so late everynight. :D
So with this sentence i am going to end the 32nd post in BlogID 7331341.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Almost continuously writing another post.
Looked at the phrase : Time-to-live. Though it was something regarding networks(computer), i just looked at its literal meaning.
Time to live ? What does it mean ? Which is the best time to live ? The present ? Again the inevitable question arises, whats the point of life ? Had a lot of silly discussion about this with the usual discussers(did i coin a new word?) Some said that their ideal life would be solitary on a nice island with sufficient food, one also wanted books for his pastime there, the other said he would use his currently dormant brain. But is that the ideal life ? I say no. I would get really bored quite soon. Though they didnt seem to agree.
Coming back to initial question, is there any point to life ? The unanswerable question i suppose. And life is full of them. Maybe the point of life is to findout the point of life. Whatever it means... Dont know why i am writing this, than doing better and useful things like falling asleep.
Falling asleep! Do u fall into deep cavern, only to climb out when you wake up ? Why was the body designed such that it needed rest ? An evolution characteristic which developed due to the day-night system of our planet, i suppose.

Just looked at all the titles of my posts. Most of them state a very obvious fact which is that i had nothing to write. I guess that is because i write the title first then the post.
Had just 10 hrs of sleep in the last 50 hrs. Actually, 62 hrs.(Lots of math has gone into these figures:) But most of the time spent has come to naught. Realised a very important thing, that more than capability, interest or enthusiasm in doing something is more neccessary. Also just realised an important virtue of mine :D. That i am usually the last person to give up. That too because there is no one else willing to further the cause along with me. Though it sounds like a very good quality, it has its disadvantages. For one, no point in trying something that is not possible. Ofcourse, the decision of what is possible or not, again lies with me. So we should also know when to quit. More importantly, when not to quit.
Sometimes, your instincts are so very correct. Makes you think whether there is some divinity involved, or it could just be coincidence. We do not remember when our instinct failed us, but think again and again where it succeeded.
I am using 'again' again and again.
A parting mention - It feels real good to be appreciated. :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Yesterday was a hectic day again. Classes throughout the morning..then buying a pc for dilip took all the rest of the day. Well the popl class in the morning will forever remain etched in my memory. Though i will take some well deserved rest in the evening. But no. Spent some time in the lab and debugged all the bugs that we ever had. Then thought i will atleast sleep soon after midnight. But no again. Was immersed in the online Discussion Forum till late 3'o clock. Did not feel like getting up in the morning. But i had to go to class. Not only because of my attendance, but for that of a few others also. But as luck would have it, he did not take the attendance. I could have as well slept in the room instead of the classroom. Well atleast the English class was cancelled. Thanks for that. I realise i need to do its assignments. But dont feel like it. Will do it soon, i hope.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Another week makes a beginning. No wonder Mondays are one of the most hated days. Heard that i missed a lot of fun yesterday :( .Cant imagine the Telugu song nor the Roots one. Must have been real fun. Just a passing thought, why didnt i ever maintain a diary ? I always had a good supply of diaries. Generally gave them to others or used them for other purposes. I suppose a big bunch of them are still lying in my house. It has been found that lonely people do maintain a diary. But not me :D. Well does that prove that i was not lonely when i was young? I think it only proves the obvious - too lazy to write.
I wonder how i keep writing posts in this blog. I guess, typing isnt as boring as writing. Yeah, it actually feels good to touch the keys. Especially now that i can type without looking at the keyboard. It took two years! But i think the major difference came in these summer hols when i started chatting. Never tried to improve typing using those silly looking tutors. Hence, though the speed os okay now, the technique isnt. Who cares?
Unsolicited advice : want to improve your typing without getting bored - start chatting, not with one or two, but with 5 or 6 at the same time.

i better think of some names for the poems that are below, though i want to name only the last one and the one under the title 'Really Amazed'
So i hereby name the poem dated august 21 as 'While i was blogging'
And for the one just below - ...dont remember it, will need to read it again.
Yeah okay, i shall call it ....cant find anything suitable. Will try some other time.
By the way, can the below poem be considered even remotely funny? Someone plz say yes, i dont want to break the vow. Did not recollect the vow, while i was writing it, actually i am surprised i wrote it. Was feeling very sleepy then. Just plopped on the bed as soon as i published it.
This sounds good. My poems have been 'published' :D

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Read Catcher in the Rye yesterday night. Quite a strange book it was. Well, i never encountered this style of writing earlier. I heard that it is a classic and is sort of used in schools etc in the west! Its as different from the traditional classics as it could possibly be. It really is. I suppose the author was very true to the lingo of a typical seventeen year old of that time. An excellent and very very long analysis of the protagonist can be made. But i just say that he appeared to hate human conversations and humans in general...except very few individuals. Actually i dont think i am even remotely qualified to say anything about such a popular and well read book.

Now i am going to get abstract. Very abstract. I really am.
Not sure of what lies beneath. There is always the hope, that i would obtain/achieve ... But what do i really want, i do not know. I am not very sure. I look at the various options, some evidently almost out of reach, some which could be reached, if conscious efforts are made towards them. But as usual, hesistancy is a major factor. Dont want anything to be known or even slightly clear to the externals. In fact, there is that really major doubt of whether or not too much importance is being given where none is officially required. Maybe at the right time, oppurtunity would present itself. And trying to hurry matters may actually push or even obliterate the possible emergent oppurtunity. Once again, the question arises, what actually is craved for ?
Physically what is wanted...consciously what is desired...mentally what is needed. Its is certainly not just an object. Cannot be definately pointed out physically. It is much much more i guess. But is it even 'it' ? Maybe such a thing is not even possible? Another important question is, why do is it considered needed? Is that a genuine desire, or better, requirement or is it just a fancy fad?
Whenever a slight chance is noticed, thoughts about making an attempt are born. But they do not grow into actions. Or by the time, an action is ready to be executed, it becomes redundant. Luck plays a major part. Maybe, only it plays a part. Maybe maybe.

I better try and advance in my agent thing. It seems to be getting stagnated so often. I hope we are not taking it to coolly. But the factor which determines the work is not at all related to it. So late again today...how will i be able to work tomorrow morning? :((

A droopy eye,
an unheard sigh
so very tired,
why dont you lie

the body is anxious,
the bed it cries for.
the mind though exhausted
wants to be awake more.

some slight disappointment
some slight frustration
but what is the cause
there's no revelation

an yawn makes an appearance
the eyes no longer sense
the hand decides by itself
and removes the lens

There's no alternative left
this poem should end now
preparing to go to bed,
this author retires with a bow.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

So isnt the above sentence false ?
Well cool air is blowing here, it had just rained.
Went to the swearing-in ceremony, as i seemed to be the only non parliamentary member, i was asked to take the photographs. Brought the dig-cam from the server room, and also a dubious floppy. Didnt know how to use it. The Prof showed me how to handle it. He was no expert at it either. Well anyhow, i started taking the photographs. I took them and took them. So finally, all the MP's were sworn in. Then i went to the lab and checked the floppy. :((
It contained just two photos. What happened to the rest ? Lost in the abyss of that digital world, i guess. And the irony was that of those two photos, one was a general one, and the other was that of the Campus-Life secretary being sworn in !!!

Want to do something now...anything other than sitting in front of this intelligent box.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Had to go to Indira Nagar from a long time. Somehow chose this day..actually this afternoon, found Dilip and off we went. A little distance we went and then started questioning the sun's motives. It was nicely resting till then, but then our footsteps on the road seem to have woken it up. And it came to have glimpse of us. Well, soon reached the place, got all the required work done and then we were about to return. The sun was nowhere to be seen. Instead a few big drops of H2O started appearing. We ignored them and just were coming back. But then without much of a warning, it was raining as hard it could. A few more steps and we were totally drenched. No place anywhere near to shelter ourselves. So we continued along... and got wetter and wetter.. were totally dripping from head to toe by the time we reached the institute. There is something between me, dilip and rain. Whenever the first two are walking together, alone, the third one makes an appearance.. I just lost count of the number of times this has happened...........

As i expected, no one knew about the exam. When would it start ? And where should we sit ? All this pointed out the possibility that the office had no idea about this exam. Which turned out to be true. So questions were written on the board ! I remember, the last time i wrote an exam from the questions on the board was back in class sixth. Or am i missing some such incidents ?

I hate studying for exams... Well but take home exams seem to be no better as was evident for DA.
So how else can we be graded ? I have no idea....Just that i hate reading for any sort fo exam. And this time i put as minimal effort into this as i could. i hope i dont do too badly....But then again, i dont seem to care any longer..... tch tch

Friday, September 17, 2004

I dont know what to do ? It is very late at night. I am feeling a bit sleepy (what with the breathless day that i had) but i dont want to sleep. So what should i do ? The question arises. But the answer refuses to rear its beautiful head. And hence, the question is left gloating its apparent invincibility. By the way, did 'Da Vinci' mean inVincible ?. What we see is what we are decieved with. So since i had nothing to do, i as well could write a post here. So thats what i am currently doing. But does it serve any purpose ? I mean if you are doing something just because you dont feel like doing anything, then what is the whole point in doing that something ? What am i saying ?
Whoa....This is going to be my first post through linux. It feels so good to be using linux again. But the major disadvantage with Linux is that it i comparatively much slower than Windows. But, then again, it should not be compared with windows. Linux is the future.
Well.....i may as well go to sleep......But i dont want to.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

I forgot to put a title for the previous one. Tch tch. But i adhere to my policy of not changing a post after i publish it. So i am not modifying it. The important question here is, how come i am writing such sentimental poetry ? What ever happened to poetry i used to write in school, all funny and simple ? I should attempt my previous style whenever next i feel like writing one. Well, so the next poem in this blog will be something which atleast attempts to be comic...I hope this vow is realised. Or will the case be that there is no next poem in this blog ??
Who knows...........I do :D

Monday, September 13, 2004

Well, had a strange day today. Actually started with yesterday night. I was about to sleep early at around 11 but finally ended up sleeping at 4 in the morning. Then woke up with great difficulty to attend Networks, a very bad decision i can say on hindsight. He did not even attempt to teach anything. Will have to learn some networks now. Then came back and went back to sleep. Was disturbed quite a lot. I wasnt feeling well at all, but to top it all of, i had to take a tute today. As if the topping wasnt sufficient, the cherry was that the other tutor conveniently excused himself stating other important work. Which meant i had to take a small lab test sort of thing for some 50 students who would be distributed in two labs. Thanks a lot to Bell, who helped me with it. Otherwise, i would have just postponed it i suppose(this was actually a postponed tute). It must have been one of the longest in history. Went on for some two and half hours. Then i had to go that project meeting. I dont know how i looked, but i must have been looking real sick, the Prof noticed it and asked my well being. Well after that, i thought get back to my sweet room and rest peacefully, but was tempted on the way to play TT. I dont know how i was able to play, what with the cold and weakness, i did not concentrate at all, and hence i played well!

Enough of this boring day. What is happening in this institute all of a sudden. Lots of misunderstanding and enmities. The Parliament and its elections sucked, but now attempts are being made to deliver the same fate to Felicity. I hope Su is able to handle it well and quells this unrest. It was instigated by the worst person in IIIT.
When and how can he be kicked out ?
It looks people sudden realised that they better do some work and earn some recognition.. but that doesnt mean they try to force their way into this. They should have earned their position. Where were they all last year ?

With dreary eyes and tired face, he is looking at the screen...........
The fingers are straining to reach the required keys. ..........
Now the hand is making the feeble attempt to grip the rat and move it to the destination coordinates. Now the index finger is gathering all the energy that it can muster to press that seemingly innocuous button. And then the dreary eyes scan at a rapid speed and try to detect any errors. Found to spelling errors. After rectfying then (which took a considerable amount of time since there wasnt any power left anywhere), the last action is taken.
With straining cell in the body, i publish this post................

Saturday, September 11, 2004

So there seems to be some politics here. Contenders are threatening and bribing. Well atleast some seem to be doing. Why was it neccessary for the faculty to have elections for the parliament. Earlier too we had a parliament, but it was almost non-functional. It would be at loggerheads with the management, and would resign. So basically it was a failure. So how would elections help in this regard ?
Well one major difference it would make is that people are now atleast aware of what is actually going on. After the Parliament is formed in this manner, atleast the students would know, who are the memebers etc. Also this makes the parliament really responsible to the students.
But will the parliament have some real powers this time around ??
Only time will tell, but maybe it wont. But this elections sure have cropped up a lot of issues which could have been done without. And also, i thought there was the unwritten rule that, the secretaries should be from the final year ? Well this rule has surely gone for a toss, but many voters may still follow it, i think. Well the saving grace is that there are no posters hanging around. Cant imagine how the campus would look if the elections are conducted on a big scale. It would become some normal local University i suppose.
Well have been 'talking' for a long time now. Atleast i better post this thing

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Blogging after a relatively long time. No particular reason, but there are many reasons . Never dreamt that i would be standing in an election in this phase of my life, well i am not quite contesting in it, but it is almost the same nevertheless.
What are our chances ?
No one seems to have any idea. But these elections have surely caused some divisions within the batches. Luckily no such thing seems to be happening in our batch. Or is it ? Well atleast nothing regarding me, thankfully.

I had a very tiring day today. Starting with the exam, then continuous classes, then i realised i had a to take the tute on my own, lots of problems regarding it, then had to argue with J about my algorithms, then watched the match against some Reddy College, then played TT for quite some time. It was exhilarating to play TT after such a long time. The TT table seems to perenially occupied this sem. Finally heard this talk that some people are actually campaigning for the elections !!!

I just hope elections dont cause any unneccessary bad-blood between these people. But then again, do i really care ?
Hey, but now i want to win :D
Dont know what to do now... too tired to do anything.... to tired to sleep either.
Just want to talk with someone i guess. Was talking with pranav while i was writing this post. A real nice guy he is :D

Friday, September 03, 2004

Well i just felt like writing something now. But as usual the problem is what should i write ? Shall i start about bits and bytes or birds and bees ? Oh No ! Better not to write anything then to write such a thing. Slept quite well afternoon, yet felt sleepy the whole day. I feel sleepy yet, dont want to sleep. A desire that does not rear its head. But its invisble field makes you sound utterly ridiculous.

Just looked around,
there's something to be found
An object not very long
to someone, sometime
it did belong.

Sharp and shiny,
glinting in the light
not big, not tiny
invisible in the night

half covered by sand,
just about peeking out
just a bit of sun it sought
extending my hand,
I tried to pull it out.

i tugged and tugged
not an inch, it budged
I looked at it for a while
it seemed to give a wry smile

Ignoring it, i could have left
but my curiosity urged me on
how could i leave it bereft
so i tried again with energy reborn.

any amount of power
just made it sink lower
since physical attempts
proved futile
i had to apply some guile

I squat down near
and all the sand around it
I started to clear

The wind too was curious
helped me with a force furious
every grain of sand was carried away
revealing the object which beneath lay.

golden with a glitter
a shape of oblong
when hit by my finger
made a sound 'gong'

It seemed so exquisite
with its shape so queer
i decided to take it on a visit
and show it to each of my peer

Lighter than a feather,
smoother than leather
From where could it originate
hey, it seemed to vibrate !

Startled, i looked at it
and observed it closely
entrenched in my palm
it felt a bit warm
Then, began my alarm

i dont know what came about
but it seemed to rot !!

Disintegrating bit by bit,
the gold turned to sand
each grain as it released itself
slipped out of my hand

It wholesomely crumbled
and as i could do nothing,
I mumbled and grumbled

The palm, a proud owner
just a moment ago
is now a loner.
what a big dent to its ego !

Dusting my hands,
I walked again
the whole exercise amounted
to nothing but a bit of pain.

Well quite a day it has been. It Began with me rushing to the English Class. I am destined to sit in the last row for a quite a few classes. Even if i go early i ll have to sit in that same place because he's going in some serial order while asking for each one's input on a HG Wells' story.
Surprisingly, felt a little bored in that class. Then had to rush immediately to DWDM. I dont know what happened to Pudi. Not that he was any good earlier, he just seems to be degrading day by day. Today, he tells one thing initially and then later completely changes it. But we ask so many questions that finally somehow i understood everything. :) Felt verry sleepy after lunch.
Today, I took my first tutorial. I had to check their assignments. Something related to CGI in Python. Python ?? Have no idea about it. And these people learnt it all in their second sem. So what else can i grade their assignments on other than the output ? So just looked at some python examples before going to the class. Then at 3:15 or something entered their lab. No one seemed to have noticed my presence. :( Coolly walked towards Rakesh and was chatting with him. Then, at last, someone saw me and offered to show his assignment. Who else was it other than the only junior in my wing! Looked at his output of all the programs.
These people didnt do the assignments well. In place of phone number, i could as well give A-Z alphabets and it would coolly accept it. Not one really implemented anything realistically.
I just commented on their output, asked them to show the code, and was marking them.
Met an assortment of characters. One guy was so tensed that he had to type his password thrice to log in. Another guy did not know which file contained which code.
Yet another guy, was reading out what was clearly visible to me. I told him that in so many terms. Then, i started multi-processing. Was evaluating the assignments of two people at once. I also wrote their marks in a coded format. :D
Rakesh tried to decipher it but was unsuccessful. The most funny part was my questions. I asked them to explain their code, and they went on telling something, which sounded like Latin to a non-python guy like me. Just looked at their confidence and the output and graded them. But now i seemed to understand a bit of python. Seems as gigantic language as the snake. Evaluated the assignments of some 15 people. More than 10 didnt show up, i suppose.

So escaped from there in an hour. Then after a bit of much required relaxation, went to a most boring Foundation Day ceremony. It consisted of only drab boring speeches.
As usual, i was teased at the flimsiest of chances. I didnt even walk to the chairs that i hear my name being called for some twisted reasons. Then, if the CDE lady comes to speak, i am picked upon again. :)
But all in all, it was fun. Our ongoing DA exam will end tomorrow.
I hope i ll finally attend Networks tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Networks. Heard a lot about the subject, the prof and the grading before i attended even a single class. The introduction class by itself made it quite clear that this prof has a few sadistic qualities. Attended all the classes till August (they werent many anyway) Then began the MAS. Hence I missed all the Networks classes in the first fortnight of the month. Then when i came back, the guy went on some kind of tour. Another week passes by. Finally in the final week of the month, i get to see him after a loong time. I hope i hadnt seen him. He was so so so boring. Also quite inaudible for more than half the class. Then for the next two classes, i didnt have the drive or the energy to wake up for the class in the morning. Finally yesterday i resolved to attend the today's class.
Today. Woke up at 8:20 ! for a class scheduled at 8:30. Got out of the hostel at 8:30 sharp. Even took a bath (a very very quick one). So reached the main building after two mins. Out of breath. About to go to the first floor, when i am confronted by few other batchmates. Apparently, we couldnt make it. X-(
Who in the hells cares for this guys classes. I really cant find a reason to attend his class. Attendance? Someone is bound to put a proxy for me.
Henceforth, i ll be minimally seen in Networks classes.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Sometimes, somedays...
without any reason
from deep inside you
the pain arises from within

I dont know what the matter is. Just dont feel like doing anything. Actually just this isnt much of a problem. But you also become restless. Have not much of any idea of what is bugging you. Well sometimes you do, but then you can see no counter-measures. Even if you do know some, you wouldn't want to try them. Because, in truth, u want something and are unable to obtain it, but the desire is so well hidden within you that you do not even acknowledge its presence. In anycase, is it your fault that you desire something that you are sort of hesistant to accept ?
And when you start writing about it, even then you do not state it explicitly. Just try to work your way round it.

Got up in the morning at somewhere near eight. Looked at the watch, looked at everyone quickly getting ready to go to class, just thought for a second and then went back to sleep. The beginings of an eventless day.
Again got up at 9:30. Had another class at 10. An excellent prof. So i forced to myself to take a bath and sauntered into the main building at 10. We had to submit an assignment then. Luckily he agreed to postpone it till tomorrow. It is usually a very interesting class. Today was no different. Yet in the later part of the hour, i could barely keep my eyes open.
However i fully woke up at the end of the class. After the class, instead of going to the hostel as usual, i ventured in to the library. Another clue to the fact that today wasnt a normal day. I then read about how to set the drivers for Wlan card in linux, when there arent any available for linux, noted a bit of it down and finally got back to hostel. Immediately set about the task of installing the drivers. I finished quite soon. But i wasnt sure of whether they are indeed installed. Also i had no idea how to setup the connection to Wlan.
Had lunch and then returned. Woke up Tejo and sent him to the mess.
Just fell on the bed. Though wasnt feeling so sleepy, i wasnt inclined to get up either.
2..3....4...... woke up finally. Ofcourse there were many intermediary attempts by various people to wake me up but in vain. Went to birthday-boy's room and again fell asleep. Woke again after another hour. But wasnt anyway refreshed.
Just thought about all the things that i needed to do. Then I had these thoughts. Why am i doing anything at all ? i wanted to think of replying to that DIgLib maintainers mail. But then had afterthoughts as to am i not already having more than enough (though these days i am not doing any of them).

Saturday, August 28, 2004

I seem to be walking for hours. But the surroundings look all the same. True, i am not particularly knowledgable about trees and foilage, but no matter how farther i walk, i seem to find the same leaf at the same place ! It was slowly getting frightening.
Soon, i did notice some clearance. Quickening my pace, i just prayed to get out of this maze. I may not be sure about the existence of god, but at that moment, i convinvced myself that he existed.
The evidence in favour of his (or could be her or could be they either) existence was strengthened as soon as i finally got out of that repetitive nightmare.

This time i discarded those cat-ish instincts and quickly walked home. Just put the whole incident behind me. I still thought about it sometimes, though. But as with all things good or bad, the frequency reduced gradually and i forgot about it... almost.

Was quickly and sleepily scanning the newspaper before going to brush my teeth. Looked at the last page and was working my way back, when somewhere in some page, some photo captured my eyes.
It was him.
Shook me out of sleep. I looked again. Read the caption below it. It said that something about some floods somewhere in South America ! It cant surely be him. Or did I , during that walk been transported to the other part of the world and back ?
With this thought i transported myself to the sink to brush.
While brushing it struck me. The photograph must have been taken here, and they were trying to pass it off as belonging to that place. But even then it did not clear up the confusion.
Who was the boy in the first place and what had happened to the group chasing him that day ???

Friday, August 27, 2004

Along the river, though it was more like a small stream, i was walking. Suddenly i came across a strange sight. There was a boy running quite fast. Galloping actually. Leaping and sidestepping all his obstructions, he approaches the river. Out of breath, he stops at the edge of the bank and looks back. My eyes follow his. I fainlty make out outlines of some group of people. Then i looked back at the boy. His eyes did not attempt to conceal any fear. That was the last time i looked at that innocent terrifed face. He ran across the stream as if it was frozen, never looking back. Soon he was lost in the woods on the other side.
I was still rooted to that spot, expecting the hunting pack to come out any moment. But it didnt. Whatever silhouettes i saw earlier were no longer visible. Made me feel that i had been hallucinating or something. But, the footprints on the wet ground were as clear as the sun on this cloudless day. So i could atleast be sure that there was a boy.
Unmindful of my pleading sensible part which continually reminded of the fate of that curious cat (which wasnt cool by the way) , i prodded on towards the place where i think i had seen the pursuers.
But i never seem to be getting any nearer...........

Two hectic days come to an end. But nothing much came out of it. Want to take a break. Go out somewhere and have just 'literature' to read. Did quite badly in Data Warehousing, apparently so was the case with the others. But who cares....
Met with Camel, he gave a farther deadline than i expected him to, which is nonetheless quite insufficient.
Must be getting bored reading about my daily travails i suppose.
The revolution ended before it even started. And seriously, the mess fare also seems to have improved. For starters, the curd is no longer inedible. And most importantly, the plates are clean.I better leave the mess alone...

Finally i would be attending networks today.. After a long long gap.
Better get to sleep now.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Well, i commited an error in my previous blog, oops No, post :P.
Should never lose a post. I remember just recently i had lost a poem. I was browsing and somehow ended up at this site which gave a textbox asking you to put your poem there. So i wrote one. Just before i started writing, i had clicked on some other link. But, at that time our connection was so fast that the browser went to that link as soon as i had finished my poem :(
They should enable smileys in blogs. It ll give it a more informal feel.
As for searching for a person's blog, thats very very difficult especially if that person has not revealed anything in their profile or has asked it to be kept out of the list.
Lots of work it seemed, yesterday. Half seems to be done now. Actually i did nothing. Just asked others to do it :D.
Better start reading those research papers.......Nah, later. Making the exam, open book has killed any half-hearted attempts that i could have made. I dont seem to be writing any normal old fashioned exam these days.

Blogging frequency has increased tremendously....................
But why should anyone blog ?? I should know !!
Wow, must be the third time that i am writing something before the sun has retired.

Question of the day : Will the Non Cooperation Movement succeed ??
Better look at ranta's blog for answers. He really seems to love his girlfriend. http://wwwus.blogspot.comNirnimesh just cuts and pastes all his literary creations.... and his letters..... Nehru in the making ?? They do have the first letter common. :P
http://nirnimesh.blogspot.com

Cant believe it........... :((
Just wrote a big blog. Previewed it and instead of hiding the preview, i pressed 'back' !
:(( :(( :((
Lost everything.... It had something about the mess to Olympics to life to job to sports in US n China to the food in the present mess to Gharshana songs.

Lost all of it. And i cannot create a newer one neither can i recollect the lost one.
Dont feel like writing anything now. But dont feel like sleeping either.
Cant even dare to think of the work i have for the next two days. Its humanly impossible to do it.But somehow it will all be done.

Hey, I need to the title the poem below. My only reader, plz help in that aspect. Actually, you are not the only reader. But yeah, the only reader known to me or even better the only reader to visit it more than once.

So you have the honour to suggest a title to this 'awesome poem' :P
Better post this without previewing......... :)

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Seems like i blog only late in the night. Anyways i was genuinely surprised to find that i too have an average of some 5 visitors per day. But no one is courageous enough to return :P
So I slept after three yesterday night or shoud it be today morning ?? Hell no, it ll be yesterday morning. :D . Woke up late in the morning, No! i should say afternoon. Why am i talking about it anyway ?

Lost in blogs. Need to be rescued soon.

Along the sea of brightness,
with the darkening sky above
I went with you
Just you, me and my love.
(I m amazed !! frm when did I start writing such stuff ?? anywaz it rhymes pretty well)Walking softly on the shore,
feeling every grain of the sand.
Happiness consumed me,
just as you touched my hand.

A sound somewhere
A few boats here and there
All of it blanked out
Only you, all my senses sought.

An attempt so feeble
with all the courage i mustered
as I look into your eyes
I find you slightly flustered.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Why am i writing a blog when i am supposed to write two 'pieces of literature' ??
On similar lines why do i always, though faintly, remember shakespeare whenever i think of the word literature ??
Or why are we able to write anything we want when we are not asked to but get writer's block when we actually need to write ??
Or why am i asking such NP-hard questions ??

Enough of questions. I also need to improve the quality of my blogs...as suggested by one fellow-blogger.
Now the important question is that i need to describe my first encounter with Tennyson's Eagle.
What i dont get is, should i write my opinioin abt that 'piece' of literature or can i get away by the describing the class on that day especially Jayaram's WGC !

I better start typing some meaningful literature..... but my fingers seem to go numb as soon as i even attempt to do that.
All this leads to just one conclusion : I cant create 'pieces of literature'.
But if u want any' chunks of nonsense', u can safely approach me.
Ofcourse, even if u dont want anythin, u can 'safely' approach me.

Srry reader, i dont seem to be getting any better at this.............................

I m back to this site after a loong time. Quite a hectic week that was. Quite a interesting and also culinarily delightful one. What with a ***** lunch everday of that week. But i had to sit there for approx 12 hrs everyday begining from morning 8:30. Ofcourse, getting up in the morning was the worst part. But it really threw open a wide unexplored area in front of us poor undergrads.
Is there a theory that as people grow with age, they start asking more questions ? (esp those in the academic field) . I always find the Pgs asking all sorts of relevant n redundant questions, whenever they have the oppurtunity of attending the same class as me. :P
In the School too, the oldest person asked the most questions. But he was a good guy. Almost offered us jobs in his research lab. :D

I think i need to ask Su when i will get to see the interface. As the time goes on, the redundancy of my article keeps increasing...

Sunday, August 08, 2004

As i was going, passing peacefully through life, there appears the inevitable. The ripple spread slowly through me. Coolly sliding along i was, and the land disappeared. But nevertheless it pricked even the farthest neuron. I came across a cliff and i had no wings. But preoccupied as i was, the tingling sensation bypassed my consciousness. Coming to a dead end, i couldnt do anything, or so i thought. However, slowly the ripple grew to a wave. I could have done anything, i was just hesitant to even consider any alternatives other than blaming my fate. And the wave grew in velocity, quicker and quicker it was heading towards ... . Then i just got so irritated at my helplessness, that i felt really frustrated. I looked up, at just the wrong moment. Well, in my case frustration leads to boredom. And i had more than a mouthful. I tried to distract myself and tried to forget my flaws, if there were any. Suffocated though i was, what was appalling was that no one even approached me to help. But as the adage that never went anywhere says, 'The more you try, the more you fail.' Picking up myself and the pieces of my shattered ego, i moved on. So failling i continued until i faced more boredom.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

My fingers are typing on their own. They are finding the keys n pressing them as they reach them.
So whatever nonsense u maybe reading, dont blame me for wasting your time. Anyway i dont think anyone is going to read this anyway. Hey also i cant understand why i try to write in proper english. My Chat English tries to subjugate its alter-ego, but i try to fight it back.
Well should i stop the hostilities and let the english go awry ?? I dont know. Anyway i cant do anything now since my fingers arent listening to me anyway. I read a few more blogs n in some the bloggers were talking about serious global issues like Weapons of Mass Destruction, Global Warming and other such blah blah...
Maybe they were practising their journo skills. But they are atleast in a much better position then me.I have no idea what i should write about. I am writing this since i have nuttin else to do now ;)
So i got this wonderful website which has all the Calvin n Hobbes strips, so i have something to do in the lab when i have no work.
Well if i have no work then why am i in the lab ? This is a question whose answer is in the question itself. What are such questions called ? My fingers seem to be blabbering some really nonsensical gibberish. Anyhow atleast they are able to do something that i wasnt capable of.

I recently read the current best seller Alchemist. It was sort of story which inherently has self help tips. Something similar to Who moved my Cheese. But much better, also quite gripping. Should be finished in 1 sitting, or even standing or lying down whichever way u please. The second last para before the epilogue was the best.

I would now like to read the other best seller- The Da Vinci Code.
Leonardo da Vinci, what a person, I wonder how he had the time to do all the things that he did.
Yeah i know, He never shaved.
R my hands never going to stop ? Well maybe i should force them. Coercing doesnt seem to work.
Maybe they will keep on typing until i leave. But for that, the idiotic damn slow program has to end. But this program seems to be NP hard.

Another paragraph but the same old stuff. Seriously i dont think anyone continues blogging for more than a few months. But then again, what do i know.
[Flash News: This is the biggest blog of mine so far]
Well then lets make it even BIGGER. So i ll let loose my fingers now.
Lrf Lrf, Ur unf yrg hf serr, Jr ner yvorengrq. Vf vg ernyyl gehr be ner jr va n qernz ? Yrgf Pryroengr !!! Pbz'ba yrgf uni n Cnegl Genynynyn STOP
They have really gone berserk. We can never trust our fingers. Who knows what language they use. It certainly didnt seem like a lang that is used by humans.
Hey wait a minute, I think they use rot13. How do i know ? Well, Afterall they R my fingers right.

Starting yet another paragraph. God save the reader. But is there a god ? Oh no another topic is rearing its ugly head.
Maybe there is. The program has just ended........I can go to the hostel now.........
But i need to end this big blog on some note. So how should i end it ? By asking a earth shattering question ? Or by just saying a simple goodbye ? The second choice would be preferable. I shoudnt attempt anything destructive. Well so here we go.
GoodBye
Nah it was too simple. This blog deserves something more. What can that be ?
Hey i want to go to room now. But something is holding me back. My hope. My feeble attempts. i better submit this before theres some error with the connection. Its really beahving weirdly these days

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

What shud i do ?
I m bored to death. Its so strange that i feel bored only when i need to do some work.
Now I need to learn java :(( . How long wud it take ? I need to select a good book first. Also i hope i am able to complete that job before Prof Camel fails to recognise me...
Or shud I be the my usual lazy self and try to do it in c++ ? But its always better to learn java rite.
Wat shud i do now.......

Here i am waiting
staring into the unlit
blinded by the sting
of the sudden light.

shielding my eyes
i try to pierce it
how much ever it tries
my eyes couldnt see a bit.

the sun may not have risen
flowers may not have bloomed
the birds may not have woken
but that is just a token

fact was that it was brighter
then a day could ever hope to be
the light wasnt just that,
it was too bright to see !

finally it dimmed
a silhoute formed
the light slimmed
but a small fire still burned .

The light started wavering
or was it my eyes..
i started quivering
or were they all lies ?

Then the darkness flooded
through the center of the scene
like a small island
shining out of a big ocean

Reducing the strain
on my much abused eye
relieved of the pain
i gave a quiet sigh

Blinding was the light
darkness i wanted .
reading this poem
a good many fainted !

Wow now i feel satisfied
havin tortured you with this piece of literature..........

Well so i continued my blog spotting, though it wasn't boring it wasn't rather exciting either.
Also i found many patterns. Most obvious being that most of the girls had pink templates. Mayb that is expected. So many stereotypes yet so few similarities.
Why the heck am i writing this ?

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

I went out to have lunch with Axe. But that dude uttered the blasphemous sentence that he wasnt really hungry. Well wasnt it enough for me to drop the whole idea. Well lunchless days are increasing in number slowly ..........

Well here i am once again. Yet another day, but nuttin changed much.
Well no comments yet. But hopefully someday i will hav. Today i checked the recent post s and realised that on a average more than a 100 posts are posted every minute. Now that's huge. Well mayb not so huge after all. I read a small book about the greatest bank robbery of all time. They caught the mastermind and he escaped. Well would he have really enjoyed the wealth that he had stolen ? I m basically writing this to see if my post comes in that most recent posts list. Hey also i really wanted to know, wat is the point of blogging ? The same point in keeping a diary maybe ? I never had the paitence of writing a diary. So no idea how long my blogging career would survive !

Friday, June 18, 2004

So am i finally into blogging ? But why am i doing it ? Will this page ever be viewed by someone other than me or that guy who introduced me to blogging ?
Well actually i wanna find out. So i request the poor person whoever may be reading this nonsense top plz plz plz post a comment. Atleast that would prompt me to post something sensible :)
So once again plz plz plz post a comment plz plz plz

Thursday, June 17, 2004

I spent most of yesterday night scanning through various blogs. Some were just like me writing some gibberish while some others have totally bared their life.
These unimaginably patient people have used it as a medium to host their diary on the net. I was also lucky that I could obtain a GMail account. Some good Samaritan had hosted an invitation on his blog so that it would be available to the person who first reads his blog. Guess who that lucky person was ! Well so blogging has already paid of for me.