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Friday, October 24, 2008

Friday, October 24, 2008

With Halloween fast approaching, bakeries are churning out the ghoulish designs faster than you can say "baffling unibrow":

Is this a pumpkin, Jacob L., or breakfast? I'm seeing scrambled eggs and a spotty banana here. And a rat with wings. But let's just ignore him and hope he goes away.

This looks like it was made from upholstery foam and melting plastic, although Lauren D. assures me it was tasty upholstery foam and plastic. So, you know, it's got that going for it.

Shannon B. found this one. Not only is it a seriously wonky pumpkin with drippy mold issues, it's also being served on a platter of earthworms. Eeewwww. (Also, what is that thing behind it? A giant yo-yo?)

Then there's the half-pumpkin-wheel with telephone-cord-tailed mice:

Very, er, curly, Melody P. Yeah, that's it: curly.

And lastly, Leilani S. shows us how KrispyKreme is getting into the spirit of things:

Wow, those pumpkin donuts almost look too good to be true, don't they?

I got the Krispy Kreme pumpkin donut at my local store and it was exactly the same as in the picture - and delicious of course - so it must have been bring-a-3-year-old-to-work-day at the store that made this one

I think cake makers feel they get a free pass to make the most horrendous creations just because it's Hallowe'en. The cakes are supposed to be scary and gross - but I think they take that brief a little *too* literally!

That pumpkin cake that looks of foam cushioning looks like it's about to collapse from all the mucky green goo on top. Icing never looked so vomit-inducing.

I'm going to give a pass to the donut because if Krispy Kreme is anything like Tim Hortons, their bakers are not trained in decorating or hired because of artistic skills.

I used to bake at a Tim Hortons, and I was a good baker, but when it came to donuts and cakes and cookies that had to be decorated with faces or something fancy (which happened very rarely, maybe twice a year), I was hopeless. I tried my darndest, but often it's next to impossible to make something look as good as it does in advertisements.

I am at the beginning stages of starting my own cake business and this is great. I love this sight as a how to guide for me not to mess up and end up on here but i reassure you i will send you all my messups lol. You had me laughing for hours while my husband looked at me shaking his head!

I refuse to believe that the cakes in the third picture are actually for sale. You can't just throw icing on some cake, call it decorating, and expect people to buy it. It's called a spatula- for the love of Mike, please use it to smooth the icing out!

I love the pumpkin donuts. Very sad interpretation of what it is supposed to look like. But, I am pretty sure that's what you are going to get when you go to the store. They wont look anything like the advertisement!

'k, I just have 2 things to say.The first pumpkin, that thing at the top looks sort of like a silhouetted hamster in a pile of greens. Which would actually be cuter than the cake is otherwise. (Come on, work with me... ears at the top right, paws up to the left...)

Second pumpkin: Maybe black airbrush on something that's supposed to be a vegetable is not the best plan. That stuff totally looks like mold.

P.S. I am totally loving my CAPTCHA this morning. "morkpron." Morkpron! Morkpron! I don't know what it means but it sounds funny. (And the first garment I ever bought myself was a T-shirt with a picture of Mork on it... Mork pron? Er, no.)

Ugh. It's like all the cake decorators are trying to terry you this year. I want one of those cakes for my Halloween party:"I dare you to eat the earthworms.""Ewww! Only if you eat this mouse---curly tail and all!""Blegh. Dare's off."-Balgram

Every day, thousands of mice are involved in easily preventable curling iron accidents. Please, won't you give generously to the telephone-cord tailed mouse fund?Honestly my first thought was "Oh those poor mice...did they eat too many greens or are those meant to be tails?" Probably just the rodent lover in me overreacting.All the cakes are remarkably wrecktastic. My favorite though is the Krispy Kreme donut because my daughters and I just had a lengthy discussion about how things never look as good as they do on the packaging - as evidenced by last night's abysmal tv dinners.

hahaha I'll go for the curly pumpkin to match my hair ;-) Btw just in case you were wondering where all those doggy creations came from:http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Cupcake-Irresistibly-Playful-Creations/dp/0618829253/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1224860776&sr=8-1

All I could think of when I saw the first pumpkin, was the nerdy kid with oversize plastic glasses and braces on his teeth. You know the kid..he's now a multi-millionaire and you wish you'd have been nicer to him.:o)`Amy B.

OH YAY! I'm the FIRST COMMENT!! :) I read this blog every day but I never comment because there are SO MANY comments on each post. I decorate cakes and I think your site is just fantastic. It's the funniest thing ever and it makes my day each time I read it. Thanks for providing humor in something people take so seriously. :) YOU ROCK!

To Kiera--I had the same issue 3 days ago. But if I click on the title of that days blog (i.e. 'wrecktastic pumpkin parade) on double click where the photo was supposed to be, they suddenly appeared. I haven't had a problem since. I thought I'd pass that on because it's just not the same without the photos. Hope it helps!

Well, maybe the decorator of the first cake knew that a unibrow is one of the sure signs of a werewolf. I'm guessing that was just a super smart cake decorator getting the most Halloween bang for your buck.

i must tell you this comment has nothing to do with this entry. i wanted to comment on the fact that your blog won the award for funniest! because it definitly is! i checked out those other two...not so funny to me! the first time i read your blog--about a month ago?--i was crying from laughing so much. i literally sat there and read every entry all the way back to the beginning! just wanted to share with you what i learned by looking at the other 2 "winners"! i love cakes (eating them). and icing. i like when the icing is so sweet your cheeks tighen up and kinda hurt just a little? mmm-mmmmmm!

My friend got the pumpkin Krispi Kreme the other day, it looked just like the pic, but it was empty inside! LAME! Everybody knows if you have a solid (sans hole) donut, it must be filled with yummy goodness.

Oooh, I bet I know why it's a "variety pack"! It's a CCC! That would explain why it is NOT ROUND! ('Cause, you know, I very much doubt that the supermarket baker trimmed a round cake into that less-regular shape for artistic effect.) And you see, there are a variety of different flavors of cupcake under there.

It does not explain the eyes in its mouth though. For that, there is no explanation.

The pumpkin sitting in earthworms is scarey. By the way, I love your blog. It is always good for a bit of cheering up, especial if one of my cakes doesn't turn out quite like I had hoped.Blessings from Costa Rica

Wow, I actually think #3 is a totally appropriate Halloween cake. It's just gross enough without being a complete failure.

I wanted to take a photo of a pumpkin cupcake wreck at the grocery store yesterday, but I didn't have my camera, and it seemed a bit too cliche. You know, the kind of thing that is too common to be "wrecktastic", no matter how "wrecked" it is. But still, it was really sloppy. Cupcakes peeking out all around, some only half frosted.... Sheesh.

Hey, this is Cake Wrecks! Not Donut Wrecks. Don't ruin it for me...my favorite thing in the whole wide world that I would cheat on my diet is a BOX full of good donuts. Not the stale grocery store kind, but the awesome real bakery kind. And next to those comes the Krispy Kremes. I'm gonna go get one of those pumpkin donuts.

This is by far the funniest blog I've read and I read some funny ones! But yours made me laugh until I cried and it was painful to try to do it quietly as not to wake my triplets!So glad I found you today - THANKS!Julie

I took the shot for #3. I also thought it looked a little poopy on top. I just thought it was gross. I wanted to mention I think the 'clam' in the back was actually a really poor attempt to make a full sized cake look like a cupcake. I know, weird, but not as weird as the cake in the back left corner of shot. The cake decorators at the grocery store have gone on this day-glo kick and are making all these cakes in clashing neon colors with thick piped icing... ugh.

Actually, the one looks like a Twinkie cake, not upholstery foam....and that makes it extra delicious! Actually, they may have started some horrible new trend...cupcake cakes weren't enough, now it's Twinkie cakes!!!

The Krispy Kreme ones are good!! I've gotten them a few times over the past few years, and they've always looked like the picture. There's some sort of stamp that they use at mine. Don't get discouraged!

I don't think that last picture is a Krispy Kreme. The ones they have in the Krispy Kreme stores look exactly like they do in the advertisement. Someone was just fooling around with the last one, I think.

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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