Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997–2003), created by Joss Whedon, is a television series about Buffy Summers, a teenage girl chosen by fate to battle against vampires, demons, and other supernatural foes. She is often aided by her Watcher and her loyal circle of misfit friends. The first five Seasons of the series aired on The WB; after a network change, the final two seasons aired on UPN.

Buffy: [to Giles] To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you?

Giles: The influx of the undead, the... supernatural occurrences, it's been building for years. There's a reason why you're here and a reason why it's now!

Giles: Alright. The Slayer hunts vampires, Buffy is a Slayer, don't tell anyone. Well, I think that's all the vampire information you need.

Giles: [To Willow] Well then help me in researching this Harvest affair. It seems to be some sort of preordained massacre. Rivers of blood, hell on Earth. Quite charmless. I'm a bit fuzzy, however, on the details. [about a computer] It may be that you can wrest some information from that dread machine. [everyone stares] That was a bit, um, British, wasn't it?

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger! Then I... hide until it goes away.

Joyce: Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. [finds her picture] Oh, look! There I am.

Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.

Joyce: This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?

Giles: This is madness. What could you have been thinking? You are the Slayer. Lives depend upon you. I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, instead of which you enslave yourself to this-this... cult.

Xander: It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.

Giles: This computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office... One assumes it is entirely legal?

Buffy: [in unison] Of course.

Willow: [in unison] Entirely.

Giles: Right. Wasn't here. Didn't see it. Couldn't have stopped you.

Principal Flutie: We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved. I really believe if we all reach out to one another we can beat this thing. I'm always here if you need a hug, [jumps back] but not a real hug! Because there's no touching, this school is sensitive to wrong touching.

Cordelia: I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like how even used Mercedes still have leather seats.

The Master: [reading from the writing of Aurelius] "There will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him. And he will lead her into Hell." As it is written, so shall it be. "Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him, and usher him to his immortal destiny." As it is written, so shall it be. "And one of the Brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate." Oh, wait... [grabs one of the Brethren by the throat] That's not written anywhere. The Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer. If you fail to bring him to me... If you allow that girl to stop you... [throws the vampire into a coffin] Here endeth the lesson.

Xander: Well, every school has 'em. See, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.

Willow: [to Xander] You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, "Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?" We've been through this.

Angel: When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul; that's gone. No conscience, no remorse, it's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done...and care. I haven't fed on a human being since that day.

Buffy: I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family.

Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friends' children... For hundreds of years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

Darla: [about Angel] I made him. There was a time when we shared everything, wasn't there Angelus? You had a chance to come home, to rule with me in the Master's court for a thousand years, but you threw that away because of her. You love someone who hates us. You're sick. And you'll always be sick. And you'll always remember what it was like to watch her die.

Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?

Giles: Randomize traffic signals.

Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.

Giles: Destroy the world's economy.

Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.

Giles: ...Alright, yours was best.

Xander: Hey! I got to hit someone!

Jenny: Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?

Giles: The smell.

Jenny: Computers don't smell, Rupert.

Giles: I know. Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower, or a a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and-and-and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is a - it, uh, it has no no texture, no-no context. It's-it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then-then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um, smelly.

Giles: He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimize said contact, but he would have none of it.

Principal Snyder: My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.

Sid (the dummy): [about his present condition] Lets just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know, I'm not me any more. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt.

[Marc has tricked Giles into getting into a craftily disguised guillotine.]

Giles: Shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?

Marc: No, no this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just come pouring out.

Giles: What exactly is the trick?

Marc: What trick?

Buffy: What about the whole "it's a demon" theory?

Giles: I'm looking into that, but my investigation is somewhat... hampered by our life in the theater.

Xander: Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it!

Giles: Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime... the show must go on.

Cordelia: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.

Cordelia: So, are you saying she's invisible because she's so unpopular?

Buffy: That about sums it up.

Cordelia: Bummer for her. It's awful to feel that lonely.

Buffy: Hmm. So you've read something about the feeling?

Cordelia: Hey! You think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes when I talk, everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say.

Buffy: Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular?

Angel: [about the prophecy] Well, there's gotta be some way around it.

Giles: Listen, some prophecies are-are a bit dodgy. They're-they're mutable. Buffy herself has-has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass.

Angel: Then you're reading it wrong.

Giles: I wish to God I were. But it's very plain. Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die.

Buffy: [about the prophecy in which she will die] So that's it, huh? I remember the drill. One slayer dies, the next one's called. I wonder who she is. Will you train her? Or will they send someone else?

Giles: Buffy... I...

Buffy: [whimpering] Does it say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt? [as Angel steps close to her] Don't touch me! Were you even gonna tell me?

Giles: I was hoping I wouldn't have to, that there was some way around it. I...

Buffy: I've got a way around it. I quit.

Angel: It's not that simple.

Buffy: I'm making it that simple. I quit. I resign, I-I'm fired, you can find someone else to stop The Master from taking over.

Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the... the signs indicate...

Cordelia: [scoffs] I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close which is good cause I don't really like you that much. But you have been known to save the world on occasion, so I'm going to give you a piece of advice.

Xander: [bitterly] You mean when there's so many pre-made ones just laying around? The things we do for love.

Buffy: Love has nothing to do with this.

Xander: Maybe not, but I'll tell you this: people don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream. What they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.

Xander: Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music's stopped and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?

Willow: All the time.

Cordelia: Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything that I could ever do to...

Xander: Do you mind? We're talking here. [Cordelia is taken aback, rolls her eyes and leaves] So where were we?

Devon: You're too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could have? You're lead guitar, Oz. It's currency!

Oz: I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.

Devon: She doesn't have to talk.

Ampata: You are always thinking of others before yourself. You remind me of someone from very long ago. The Inca Princess.

Buffy: Cool! A princess.

Ampata: They told her that she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the nether world. Out of all the girls in her generation... she was the only one... chosen. Do you know the story?

Buffy: It's fairly familiar.

Ampata: She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others?

Xander: Okay, I have something to tell you. And it's kind of a secret, and it's, um, a little bit scary. I like you. A lot. And I want you to go to with me the dance.

Ampata: [laughs] Why was that so scary?

Xander: Well, because you never know if a girl's gonna say 'yes', or if... she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.

Ampata: Hmm. Then you are very courageous.

Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world, ever.

Buffy: Ampata wasn't evil. At least not to begin with, and... I-I do think she cared about you.

Xander: Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people thing would have been a strain on the relationship.

Buffy: She was gypped. She was just a girl, and she had her life taken away from her. I remember how I felt when I heard the prophecy that I was gonna die. I wasn't exactly obsessed with doing the right thing.

Willow: [to Angel] Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! [to Giles] And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! [to Angel] And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?? [Awkward beat] Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've got to help Buffy.

Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.

Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture.

Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.

Willow: It's true.

Cordelia: You know what I think? I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer.

[Buffy admonishes Willow on her choice of a boring ghost costume.]

Buffy: It's just ... You're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding! You're missing the whole point of Halloween.

Willow: Free candy?

Buffy: It's "come as you aren't" night! The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild, with no repercussions.

Cordelia: I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie-Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed ...

Angel: You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty ... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.

Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was ... an obsession of mine. She was pure, and sweet, and chaste.

Buffy: And you made her a vampire.

Angel: First I made her insane. Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.

Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Oz: Please don't. I don't do thanks. I get all red and I have to bail. It's not pretty.

Willow: Well then forget-that thing. Especially the part where I kind of owe you my life.

[Oz pulls a cracker from the box, hoping to change the subject.]

Oz: Look. Monkey. And he has a little hat. And little pants.

Willow: Yeah. I see.

Oz: The monkey is the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that... You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen... So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And you know the monkey's just, [in French accent] "I mock you with my monkey pants," then there's a big coup at the zoo...

Buffy: I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come, and they run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini-pizzas, and everyone's like, "I like your mini pizzas", but I'm telling you, I am—

Buffy: So Mom's like, "Do you think Ted will like this?" and "This is Ted's favorite show", and "Ted's teaching me computers", and "Ted said the funniest thing", and I'm like, "That's really great, Mom", and then she said I was being sarcastic, which I was, but I'm sorry if I don't wanna talk about Ted all the time.

Angelus: You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night.

Buffy: What are you saying?

Angelus: Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened.

Buffy: I, I don't understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?

Angelus: You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro.

Spike: Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but we still do kill people. Sort of our raison d'être, you know.

...

Angelus: Spike, my boy, you really don't get it, do you? You tried to kill her, but you couldn't. Look at you. You're a wreck! She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl ... you have to love her.

Giles: It's not over. I suppose you know that. He'll come after you, particularly. His profile ... he's likely to strike out at the things that made him the most human.

Buffy: You must be so disappointed in me.

Giles: No. No no, I'm not.

Buffy: This is all my fault.

Giles: I don't believe it is. Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. And I can. I know that you loved him. And, he ... he's proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months are, are going to be hard, I suspect on all of us. But if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I'm not your man. All you will get from me is my support. And my respect.

Willow: Well, I like you. You're nice, and you're funny, and you don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month, I'm not much fun to be around either.

Oz: You are quite the human.

Willow: So I'd still, if you'd still.

Oz: I'd still. I'd very still!

Willow: Okay. No biting, though.

Oz: Agreed.

[Willow walks off, then runs back and gives Oz a quick but thorough kiss. She leaves again.]

Xander: It's not that I don't want to. Sometimes the remote impossible possibility that you might like me was all that sustained me. But not now. Not like this. This isn't real to you, you're only here because of a spell. I mean, if I thought you had one clue what it would mean to me, but you don't, so I can't.

Buffy: [angered] So you're saying this is all a game?

Xander: A game? I... No!

Buffy: You make me feel this way, and then you reject me? What am I, a toy?

Cordelia: You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? [Xander smiles] I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is. [Xander stops smiling]

Angelus: Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping...waiting...and though unwanted...unbidden...it will stir...open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us...guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. the joy of love...the clarity of hatred...and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd truly be dead.

Cordelia: Oh, God! I invited him in my car once. That means he can come into my car whenever he wants!

Xander: Yep, you're doomed to havin' to give him and his vamp pals a lift whenever they feel like it. And those guys never chip in for gas.

Buffy: It's so weird. Every time something like this happens, my first instinct is still to run to Angel. I can't believe it's the same person. He's completely different from the guy that I knew.

Xander: I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying "I told you so" long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the ... fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say, "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!"

Buffy: Yeah. There's just one problem with Giles in a revenge scenario. It'll get him killed.

Spike: Are you insane? We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in her friends' beds.

Spike: What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer!

Buffy: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever, and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures.

Willow: Okay, the Angel thing went badly, I'm on board with that, but that's not your fault. And anyways, love isn't always like that. Love can be... nice!

Willow: A ghost? Cool!

Xander: Oh, no, no. No. Not cool. This was no wimpy chain-rattler. This was "I'm dead as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore."

Giles: Well, despite the Xander-speak, that's a fairly accurate definition of a poltergeist.

Xander: I defined something? Accurately? Guess I'm done with the book learning.

Giles: I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, in fact I encourage you to always challenge me when you feel it's appropriate; you should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong.

Giles: [about the ghost of James] He's-he's trying to... resolve whatever issues are keeping him in limbo. What exactly those are, I'm not...

Buffy: He wants forgiveness.

Giles: Yes. I imagine he does. But when James possesses people, they act out exactly what happened that night. So he's experiencing a form of purgatory instead. I mean, he's doomed to kill his Ms. Newman over and over and over again, and... Forgiveness is impossible.

Buffy: Good. He doesn't deserve it.

Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's not done because people deserve it, it's done because they need it.

Buffy: No. James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. And no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid, it is just something he's gonna have to live with.

Xander: That is wrong. A big fat spanking wrong. It's a slap in the face to every one of us who studied hard and worked long hours to earn our Ds.

Cordelia: Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss, but the truth is, certain people are entitled to special privileges. They're called winners. That's the way the world works.

Principal Snyder: Just give me a reason to kick you out, Summers. Just give me a reason. [walks away]

Cordelia: How about 'cause you're a tiny impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu?

Buffy: Sums it up.

Cordelia: Don't you think?

[flashback]

Drusilla: Me mum says I'm cursed. My seeing things is an affront to the Lord. That only He's supposed to see anything before it happens. But I don't mean to, Father, I swear. I swear. I try to be pure in His sight. I don't want to be an evil thing.

Angelus: Oh, hush, child. The Lord has a plan for all creatures. Even a devil child like you.

Drusilla: [mortified] A devil...

Angelus: Yes, you're a spawn of Satan, all the Hail Mary's in the world aren't going to help. The Lord will use you and smite you down. He's like that.

Drusilla: What can I do?

Angelus: Fulfill His plan, child. Be evil. Just give in.

Drusilla: No! I want to be good. I want to be pure.

Angelus: We all do, at first. World doesn't work that way.

Drusilla: Father, I beg you. Please... please, help me.

Angelus: Very well. Ten 'Our Fathers' and an act of contrition. Does that sound good?

Drusilla: Yes. Yes, Father, thank you.

Angelus: The pleasure was mine. Oh, and my child?

Drusilla: Yes?

Angelus: God is watching you.

[Angelus, Drusilla and some vampires bring the sarcophagus back to show Spike]

Spike: It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends, they all don't have a rock this big.

Angelus: Spike, boy you never did learn your history.

Spike: Let's have a lesson then.

Angelus: Acathla, the demon, came forth to swallow the world. He was killed by a virtuous knight who pierced the demon's heart before he could draw a breath to perform the act. Acathla turned to stone, as demons sometimes do, and was buried where neither man nor :demon would want to look. Unless of course they're puttin' up low-rent housing. [to other vampires] Boys.

[two vampires open the sarcophagus]

Drusilla: He fills my head. I can't hear anything else.

Spike: Let me guess, someone pulls out the sword...

Angelus: Someone worthy.

Spike: ...The demon wakes up and wackiness ensues.

Drusilla: He will swallow the world.

Angelus: And every creature living on this planet will go to hell. My friends, we're about to make history... end.

Giles: I've been on the phone with the museum, the artifact in question is missing and the curator has been murdered vampires.

Willow: Okay somebody explain the whole he will suck the world into hell thing because that's the part I'm not loving.

Giles: Well the demon universe exists in a dimension separate from our own, and one breath of Acathla will create a vortex a kind of whirlpool that will pull everything on earth into that dimension where any non-demon life will suffer horrible and eternal torment.

Buffy: So that would be the literal kind of sucked into hell. Neat. Willow I think you should try the curse.

Kendra: I tend to stand with your friend Xander on this one. Angel should be eliminated.

Buffy: Oh I'll fight him. I'll kill him if I have to, but if I Don't get there in time or I lose then Willow might be our only hope.

Willow: [nervously] But I don't want to be our only hope, I crumble under pressure, lets have another hope.

Kendra: We have. [pulls out a sword] Blessed by the knight who first slew the demon if all else fails this might stop it. [hesitantly] I think.

Giles: Oh ooh may I. [Kendra hands Giles the sword] Thank you. [examining sword] Well its only if all else fails. [to Willow] Uh uh-mm how close are you to figuring out the ritual to the curse.

Willow: Oh I need about a day, and an Orb of Thessulah, whatever that is.

Giles: Spirit vault for the undead, I've got one. I've been using it as a paperweight.

Willow: This means I can't help you study for tomorrow's final.

Buffy: Oh, I'll wing it. Of course, if we go to Hell by then, I won't have to take 'em... Or maybe I'll be taking them forever.

Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that count. That's when you find out who you are.

Spike: We like to talk big. Vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people, billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision, with a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Piccadilly. Farewell, Leicester bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?

Buffy: Okay, fine, you're not down with Angel. Why would you ever come to me?

Spike: I want Dru back, I want it like it was before he came back. The way she acts around him.....

Buffy: You're pathetic, I lost a friend tonight!

Spike: I wasn't in on that raiding party.

Buffy: And I may lose more. The whole earth may be sucked into Hell and you want my help because your girlfriend's a big ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to not care!

Spike: I can't fight them both alone and neither can you.

Buffy: [seething] I hate you.

Spike: And I'm all you've got.

[Knocked out cop groans]

Buffy: Alright, talk.

Spike: [Casually] I just need to kill this guy.

Buffy: Ahem, ahem.

Spike: Oh. Right.

Buffy: Open your eyes, Mom. What do you think has been going on for the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences. How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing, and you still haven't figured it out?

Buffy: No, it doesn't stop. It never stops. Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is? How dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or, god, even studying! But I have to save the world. Again.

Willow: Well, w-w-well, the Slayer always says a pun, or-or a witty play on words, and, I think it throws the vampires off! And, and it makes them frightened, because I'm wisecracking. Okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one, but you try it every time!

Oz: Uh, if I may suggest, "This time it's personal." I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic.

Angel: Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me.

Giles: I mean, I appreciate your efforts to keep the vampire population down until Buffy returns, but if anything should happen to you, or you... should be killed, I should take it somewhat amiss.

Willow: You'd be cranky?

Giles: Entirely.

Willow: Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement: "Don't get killed."

Buffy: You know, I just woke up and I looked in the mirror and thought, 'Hey, what's with all the sin.' I need to change. I'm dirty, I'm bad with the sex, and the envy and the loud music that us kids listen to nowadays... oh, I just suck at undercover. Where's Ken?

Lily: I always knew I would come here... sooner or later. I knew I belonged here.

Buffy: Where?

Lily: Hell.

Buffy: This isn't Hell.

Ken: Isn't it? What is Hell, but the total absence of hope? The substance, the tactile proof of despair?

Principal Snyder: I have not only the right, but also a nearly physical sensation of pleasure at the thought of keeping her out of school. I'd describe myself as tingly.

Joyce: Buffy was cleared of all those charges.

Principal Snyder: Yes, and while she may live up to the not-a-murderer requirement for enrollment, she is a troublemaker, destructive to school property and the occasional student. And her grade point average is enough to... I'm sorry. Another tingle moment.

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?

Cordelia: What's the difference?

Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.

Willow: I think you're ready now, or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation, or-or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like. [Buffy glares at her] Oh, I didn't mean that bad thing with your mouth, I meant that little half-smile thing that you... [looks at Oz] you're supposed to stop me when I do that.

Faith: The whole summer it was, like, the worst heatwave. So, it's about 118 degrees and I'm sleepin' without a stitch on, and all of a sudden I hear this screamin' from outside. So I go tearin' out stark nude and this church bus is broke down and there's three vamps feasting on half the Baptists in South Boston. So I waste the vamps and the preacher comes up and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow when all of a sudden the cops pull up and they arrested us both.

Buffy: When I killed him, Angel was cured. [to Willow] Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. I was about to take him out, and, um, something went through him, and he was Angel again. He-he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was, it was too late, and I, I had to. So I-I told him that I loved him, I kissed him, and I killed him.

Buffy: Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical 'til I was at least forty.

Faith: It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from... Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.

Buffy: We have a marching jazz band?

Oz: Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats... Scary.

Mr. Trick: Competition. Competition is a beautiful thing. It makes us strive. It makes us accomplish. Occasionally, it makes us kill. We all have the desire to win. Whether we're human, vampire or ... whatever the hell you are, my brother. You got them spiny-looking head things. I ain't never seen that before.

Cordelia: I don't even get why you care about Homecoming when you're doing stuff like this.

Buffy: Because this is all I do. This is what my life is. You couldn't understand. I just thought ... Homecoming Queen. I could pick up a yearbook someday and say, I was there. I went to high school, I had friends, and, for one moment, I got to live in the world. And there'd be proof, proof that I was chosen for something other than this. Besides, [pumps the rifle] I look cute in a tiara.

Xander: I don't need an excuse! I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason!

Giles: Be quiet. I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer. But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me... for hours... for pleasure. You should have told me he was alive. You didn't. You have no respect for me, or the job I perform.

Faith: Guy like that, with that kinda glove, could kill a whole mess of people.

Xander: Said the same thing to Buffy myself. Weird how she didn't seem to care. [aims to take his next shot]

Spike: She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a Chaos demon! Have you ever seen a Chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting... She only did it to hurt me. So I said, "I'm not putting up with this anymore." And she said, "Fine!" And I said, "Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!" And then she said... she said we could still be friends. [leans over and sobs on Willow's shoulder.] God, I'm so unhappy!

Willow: [tentatively pats his knee.] There, there.

Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back to making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Spike: Oh, sod the spell. Your friends are at the factory. [Buffy looks at Angel, he shrugs] I'm really glad I came here, you know. I've been all wrong-headed about this: weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man that I was - the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her - wherever she is - tie her up, torture her, 'til she likes me again. [grins happily, makes to leave. Turns, whimsical.] Love's a funny thing.

[The First Evil torments Angel, taking on the forms of people he killed as Angelus]

The First: [as Travis, a man that Angelus killed along with his sons] The thing I remember most was thinking how artful it was. In the dark, they looked just like they were sleeping. It wasn't until I bent down and kissed them good night that I felt how cold they were. You grabbed me, and I thought: who would go to so much trouble to arrange them like that? [turns into Margaret, a servant girl] But you see, that's what makes you different than other beasts. They kill to feed, but you took more kinds of pleasure in it than any creature that walks or crawls.

Oz: No, I-I have. But, this is different. I mean, you look great, y'know, and you got the Barry workin' for ya, and-and it's all ... good. But when it happens I want it to be because we both need it to, for the same reason. You don't have to prove anything to me.

Willow: I just wanted you to know.

OZ: I know. I get the message.

[They kiss.]

The First: [as Jenny Calendar] You think you can fight me? I'm not a demon, little girl, I am something you cannot even conceive. The First Evil. Beyond sin. Beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You’ll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being, every thought, every drop of hate...

Buffy: All right, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?

The First: Angel will be dead by sunrise. Your Christmas will be his wake.

Buffy: No.

The First: You have no idea what you're dealing with.

Buffy: Let me guess. Is it... evil?

The First: [transforms into a fearsome demonic form, then vanishes] DEAD BY SUNRISE!

Angel: I can't do it again Buffy. I can't become a killer.

Buffy: Then fight it.

Angel: It's too hard.

Buffy: Angel, please, you have to get inside!

Angel: It told me to kill you. You were in the dream, you know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.

Buffy: I know what it told you, what does it matter?

Angel: [yelling] Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you. And I know it will cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care. I'm weak. It's not the demon that needs killing in me, Buffy. It's the man. Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!

Buffy: What about me? I love you so much, and I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. [whispers] I can't.

Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once, let me be strong.

Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because ... [Snow falls, blocking the sunlight.]

Xander: How can I convince you people that it's over? You assume because I am here, she is here. That I somehow mysteriously know where she is.

Buffy: [points] Those her books?

Xander: Yeah, she's in the bathroom. [Buffy nods] But the fact that I know that doesn't change that I have a genuine complaint here. Look, I'm getting sick of the judgement. The innuendos. Is a man not innocent until proven guilty?

Buffy: You are guilty. You got illicit smoochies. Gonna have to pay the price.

Xander: But I'm talking about the future guilt. Look, everyone expects me to mess up again. Like Oz. I see how he is around me. You know, that steely gaze, that pointed silence.

Buffy: 'Cause he's usually such a chatterbox.

Xander: No but it's different now. It's more a verbal non-verbal. He speaks volumes with his eyes.

Angel: I'm all right. I think I'm better than you right now. [indicates playground shrine] I heard about this. People are talking. People are even talking to me.

Buffy: It's strange. People die in Sunnydale all the time. I've never seen anything like this.

Angel: They were children. Innocent. It makes a difference.

Buffy: And Mr. Sanderson from the bank had it coming? My mom said some things to me about being the Slayer. That it's fruitless. No fruit for Buffy.

Angel: She's wrong.

Buffy: Is she? Is Sunnydale any better than when I first came here? Okay, so I battle evil. But I don't really win. The bad just keeps coming back... and getting stronger. Like the kid in the story, the boy that stuck his finger in the duck.

Angel: Dike. [Buffy looks at him.] It's another word for dam.

Buffy: Oh. Okay, that story makes a lot more sense now.

Angel: Buffy, you know there's still things I'm trying to figure out. There's a lot I don't understand. But I do know it's important to keep fighting. I learned that from you.

Buffy: But we never...

Angel: We never win.

Buffy: Not completely.

Angel: Never will. That's not why we fight. We do it because there's things worth fighting for.

Giles: Uh, wait, wait a minute. Uh... Uh, there is a fringe theory held by a few folklorists that some regional stories have actual, um, very literal antecedents.

Buffy: Yeah, it's all falling into place. Of course that place is nowhere near this place.

Giles: Some demons thrive by fostering hatred and, and, uh, persecution amongst the mortal animals. Not by, not by destroying men, but by watching men destroy each other. Now, they feed us our darkest fear and turn peaceful communities into vigilantes.

Buffy: Hansel and Gretel run home to tell everyone about the mean old witch.

Giles: And then she and probably dozens of others are persecuted by a righteous mob. It's happened all throughout history. It happened in Salem, not surprisingly.

Buffy: Before I was the Slayer I was ... Well, I- I don't wanna say shallow, but let's say a certain person, who will remain nameless, we'll just call her "Spordelia," looked like a classical philosopher next to me. Angel, if I'm not the slayer, what do I do? What do I have to offer? Why would you like me?

Angel: I saw you before you became the slayer.

Buffy: What?

Angel: I watched you, I saw you called, it was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps and ... I loved you.

Buffy: Why?

Angel: Because I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see, and I was worried that it would get bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life, I wanted to keep it safe. To warm it with my own.

Buffy: That's beautiful ... Or, taken literally, incredibly gross.

Angel: I was just thinking that too.

Kralik: [to Buffy's mother] Mother. May I call you "mother"? My own mother was a person with no self-respect of her own, so she tried to take mine. Ten years old, she had the scissors. You wouldn't believe what she took with those. But she's dead to me now. Mostly because I killed and ate her, but also because I know I won't be alone much longer. I'll have your daughter. I won't kill her -- I'll just make her like me. Different. She'll go to sleep, and when she wakes up, your face will be the first thing she eats. [considers] I have a problem with mothers. I'm aware of that.

Buffy: Or both. And you know, with the pain and then the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be fray-adjacent.

Xander: Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?

Faith: Yeah. That was real manly, how you shrieked and all.

Xander: I think you'll find that was more of a bellow.

Cordelia: It must be really hard when all your friends have, like, superpowers. Slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires, and you're, like, this little nothing. You must feel like Jimmy Olsen.

Xander: I happen to be an integral part of that group. I happen to have a lot to offer.

Cordelia: Oh, please.

Xander: I do!

Cordelia: Integral part of the group? Xander, you're the-the useless part of the group. You're the Zeppo. "Cool." Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has, and you don't.

[Cordelia turns and walks away.]

Cordelia: [to herself] There was no part of that that wasn't fun.

Xander: But ... it's just that it's bugging me ... this cool thing. I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn't have it? And who decides who doesn't have it? What is the essence of "cool"?

Xander: I mean you, yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that?

Oz: Am I?

Xander: Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, non-committal phrases?

Oz: Could be.

Xander: No, you're in a band! That's like a business class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff. I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?

Oz: Not the way I play it.

Xander: Okay, but on the other hand, eighth grade: I'm takin' the flugelhorn and gettin' zero trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. But ya need a thing. One thing nobody else has. What do I have?

Oz: An exciting new obsession, which I feel makes you very special.

Faith: She got me really wound up. A fight like that and, no kill. I'm about ready to pop!

Xander: Really? Pop?!

Faith: You up for it?

Xander: Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just, um, I've never been up with people before.

Faith: Just relax. And take your pants off.

Xander: Those two ... concepts are ... antithetical.

Faith: Don't worry. I'll steer you around the curves.

Xander: Did I mention that I'm having a very strange night?

[Thinking he's alone, Xander discovers a bomb in basement of the school]

Xander: [to bomb] Hello, nasty. [to himself] Less than two minutes. Dumb guy. Little bomb. How hard can it be?

[Jack, leader of the zombie gang, knocks him to the floor]

Jack: And it just got harder.

Xander: I'm not leaving 'til that thing's disarmed.

Jack: Then I guess you're not leaving. I'm gonna carve you up and serve you with gravy. You piss me off, boy. Now you pay the price. First the eyes, then the tongue. I'm gonna break every one of your fingers.

Xander: You gonna do all that in forty-nine seconds?

[Jack looks at the bomb's clock, then the door, then Xander.]

Xander: I know what you're thinking. Can I get by him? Get up the stairs, out of the building, seconds ticking away. I don't love your chances.

Jack: Then you'll die, too.

Xander: Yeah, looks like. So I guess the question really is: Who has less fear?

Jack: I'm not afraid to die. I'm already dead.

Xander: Yeah, but this is different. Being blown up isn't walking-around-and-drinking-with-your-buddies dead. It's little-pieces-being-swept-up-by-a-janitor dead, and I don't think you're ready for that.

Wesley: Oh yes, Gwendolyn Post, we all heard. No, Mr. Giles has checked my credentials ... rather thoroughly, phoned the Council. But I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well. A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer.

Buffy: Faith, you can shut off all the emotions that you want. But eventually, they're gonna find a body.

Faith: Okay, this is the last time we're gonna have this conversation, and we're not even having it now, you understand me? There is no body. I took it, weighted it, and dumped it. The body doesn't exist.

Faith: I missed the mark last night and I'm sorry about the guy, I really am! But it happens! Anyways, how many people do you think we've saved by now? Thousands? And didn't you stop the world from ending? Because in my book, that puts you and me in the plus column.

Jonathan: Stop saying my name like we're friends! We're not friends! You all think I'm an idiot! A short idiot!

Buffy: I don't. I don't think about you much at all. Nobody here really does. Bugs you, doesn't it? You have all this pain and all these feelings, and nobody's really paying attention?

Jonathan: You think I just want attention?

Buffy: No. I think you're up in the clock tower with a high-powered rifle because you wanna blend in. Believe it or not, Jonathan, I understand about the pain.

Jonathan[bitterly]: Oh, right! Because the burden of being beautiful and athletic, that's a crippler!

Buffy: You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening... You know, I could've taken that by now.

Jonathan: I know.

Buffy: [holds out hand] I'd rather do it this way. [gently takes the rifle from Jonathan as he hands it to her]

[Buffy and Giles are walking toward the high school.]

Buffy: Well, it's nice to be able to help someone in a non-slaying capacity. Except he's starting to get that look, you know, like he's gonna ask me to prom.

Faith: Give me the speech again, please. "Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not too late."

Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you! You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big, selfish, worthless waste.

[Faith knocks Willow to the ground.]

Faith: You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient.

Willow: [stands up] Aw, and here I just thought you didn't have a comeback.

Buffy: I can't let you stay because of me.

Willow: Actually, this isn't about you. Although I'm fond, don't get me wrong, of you. The other night, you know, being captured and all, facing off with Faith, things just kinda got clear. I mean, you've been fighting evil here for three years, and I've helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives. And I just realized that's what I want to do. Fight evil, help people. I mean, I-I think it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in.

Buffy: I kind of love you.

Willow: And, besides, I have a shot at being a bad-ass Wicca, and what better place to learn?

Buffy: I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can handle.

Willow: Mochas?

Buffy: Yes please! [the two get up and walk away] It's weird. You look at something and you think you know exactly what you're seeing, and then you find out it's something else entirely.

Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species, and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.

Xander: Then why you talking to me?

Anya: [averting her eyes] I don't have a date for the prom.

Xander: Well, gosh! I wonder why not. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch?

Anya: Men are evil... Will you go with me?

Xander: One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.

...

Anya: When I lost my powers I got stuck with this persona, and now I have all these feelings. I don't understand it. I don't like it. All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me.

...

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts.

Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that it just means his eyes are open.

Anya: Whatever. Look, do you wanna go with me or not?

[Xander's eyes lower for a second, then flick back up to Anya's face.]

Buffy: [about the Prom] Well, at least we all have someone to go with now. Some of us are going with demons, but I think that's a valid lifestyle choice.

Buffy: You guys are going to have a prom. The kind of prom that everyone should have. I'm going to give you all a nice, fun, normal evening, if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it.

Xander: ...Yay?

Wesley: Mr. Giles. I'd like your opinion. While the last thing I wish to do is model bad behavior in front of impressionable youth, I wonder if asking Miss Chase to dance would--

Giles: For God's sake man, she's eighteen! And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it would you, and stop fluttering about.

Jonathan: This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write-in ballots, and, um, well, the prom committee asked me to read this... We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you, but that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here.

Jonathan: But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you, or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the Class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history... [applause from the crowd]... And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers its thanks, and gives you, uh, this. [produces a glittering, miniature umbrella with a small plaque attached to the shaft] It's from all of us, and it has written here, "Buffy Summers, Class Protector."

Willow: Yes! It'd be swell. Panic is a thing people can share in times of crisis. And everything's really scary now, you know? And I don't know what's going to happen. A-a-and there's all sorts of things that you're supposed to get to do after high school, and I was really looking forward to doing them, and now we're probably just going to die, and I'd like to feel that maybe you would --

[Oz kisses her.]

Willow: What are you doing?

Oz: Panicking.

[Oz kisses Willow again, they fall onto Willow's bed.]

Anya: When I think that something could happen to you, it feels bad inside, like I might vomit.

Cordelia: No! No. We'll get a container of Ebola virus, and... and, um... or -- it doesn't even have to be real. We could just get a box that says "Ebola" on it, and, um... [snaps her fingers] chase him. [everyone is silent] ...With the box.

Snyder: Congratulations to the class of 1999. You all proved more or less adequate. This is a time of celebration, so sit still and be quiet... Spit out that gum. Please welcome our distinguished guest speaker, Richard Wilkins the Third. I saw that gesture. You see me after graduation.

Mayor Wilkins: Well, what a day this is! Special day. Today is our centennial, the one-hundredth anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that mean to all you kids: not a darn thing. Because today something much more important happens. Today you all graduate from high school. Today all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. And what's a hundred years of history compared to that? You know what, kids?

Mayor Wilkins: ... for all of you it may be that there is a place in Sunnydale's history, whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here. For you. For Sunnydale. There was been achievement, joy, good times. And there has been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journeys end. And what is a journey? Is it just.. distance travelled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way, it's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change, it means you do. You ascend... to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing.

...

Mayor Wilkins: It has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish!

Willow: It's just that in High School, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon, you really had to work to learn anything. But here... the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force. This penetrating force.. and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and spurt knowledge into... [considers what she's saying] That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.

Willow: [spots Oz] Ooh, boyfriend! It's my on campus boyfriend!

Buffy: Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up, the line's probably really long now too.

Xander: Basically, I got as far as Oxnard and the engine fell out of my car, and that was literally. So I ended up washing dishes at the fabulous "Ladies Night" club for about a month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs. Nobody really bothered me, or even spoke to me, until one night, when one of the male strippers called in sick, and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story. Suffice to say, I traded my car in for one that wasn't entirely made of rust, came trundling back home to the arms of my loving parents, where everything is exactly as it was, except I sleep in the basement and I have to pay rent. How's college?

[She brings her foot up, around and down onto a bench, breaking it in two.]

Buffy: She's... other really bad things.

Oz: On the plus side you've killed the bench, which was looking shifty.

Willow: [on the phone with Rupert Giles] Giles, I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little... insane. [pause] No, not bitchy crazy, more like... homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, OK?

Xander: And was there a lesson in all this? huh? What did we learn about beer?

Buffy: Foamy.

Xander: Good, just as long as that's clear. Anyways I think the boys in the car are contained for the time being. This'll give them some time to ponder the geo-political ramifications of being mean to me!

Oz: Veruca was right about something. The wolf is inside me all the time, and I don't know where that line is anymore between me and it. And until I figure out what that means, I shouldn't be around you... Or anybody.

Willow: Well, that could be a problem 'cause people... Kind of a planetary epidemic.

Buffy: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job. [exits]

Professor Walsh: I like her.

Willow: OK, say that I help and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like Buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops and it feels like the whole world's made for you two and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.

Willow: Thanksgiving isn't a-about blending of two cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another! A-and then they make animated specials about the part where... w-with the maize and th-the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where... where all the bison die, a-and Squanto takes a musketball in the stomach!

Spike: I just can't take all this namby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody Indians.

Willow: Uh, the preferred term is-

Spike: You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. That's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world is not people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.

Buffy: Well, I think the Spaniards actually did a lot of-- Not that I don't like Spaniards.

Spike: Listen to you. How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude?

Willow: We don't wanna fight anyone.

Buffy: I just wanna have Thanksgiving.

Spike: Heh. Yeah...Good luck.

Willow: If we could talk to him--

Spike: You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick.

Xander: Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... some of that made sense.

Giles: I made a lot of these points earlier, but fine, no one listens to me.

Willow: I'll never get used to this. One day, she's at the friendship ceremony. The next day, she's on the news. The coroner's office said she was missing an ear. So I'm thinking, maybe we're looking for a witch. There's some great spells that work much better with an ear in the mix.

Buffy: That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will.

Willow: Or... or maybe an ear-harvesting demon that--it's, like, building another demon completely out of ears. Or... ooh! Thought. We're just assuming someone else cut off the ear. What if it was self-inflicted, like Van Gogh?

Buffy: So... she brutally stabs herself, dumped the body, then cut off her own ear?

Willow: No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body--I'm really off my game, aren't I?

Buffy: But I can't help thinking, isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. (Stakes a vampire) I wonder where I get that from?

Giles: Look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless... uh, creature... we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're... impotent...

Maggie Walsh: It's only our methods that differ; we use the latest in scientific technology and state of the art weaponry and you, if I understand correctly, poke them with a sharp stick.

Buffy: Er, its more effective then it sounds-

Maggie Walsh: Oh, I'm - quite sure of that. As I'm just as sure that we can learn much from each other. I'm working on getting you clearance into the Initiative, I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here alone has killed and captured... How many is it?

Maggie Walsh: Two of our hostiles broke free and escaped into the tunnels. She went after them on her own. She's dead, Riley.

Riley: [utterly shocked] What?

Maggie Walsh: I did everything I could to stop her. I told her to wait for a back-up team. She kept insisting she didn't need any team, she could handle it by herself. I-I'm so, so sorry.

Riley: [now into shellshock] I don't understand.

Maggie Walsh: I know what she meant to you.

Riley: How could this happen?

Maggie Walsh: She was a very, very special girl.

[Behind Walsh, the com-cam image on the monitors starts to move. Buffy appears in its picture]

Maggie Walsh: I didn't understand at first. But she had something. I don't know... maybe I could have stopped her.

[Not realizing that Riley is suddenly seeing Buffy on the monitors]

Maggie Walsh: It's hard not to blame myself.

Buffy: [speaking through the monitor] Professor Walsh. That simple little recon you sent me on wasn't a raccoon.

[Walsh slowly faces the monitors]

Buffy: Turns out it was me trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.

Buffy: I'm going to the crime scene to see what I can find out. You guys research the Polgara demon. I want to know where it is. When I find it, I'm going to make it pay for taking that kid's life. I'll make him die in ways he can't even imagine.

Spike: Tell you what I'll do, then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where all of you are, and then watch as she kills you. [sees the surprised looks on Giles and Xanders faces and sighs] Can any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I HATE you all? Just because I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon your way. And here I thought the evening would be dull.

Xander: Go ahead! You wouldn't even recognize her!

Spike: Dark hair, this tall, name of Faith. Criminally insane. I like this girl already.

Faith: I kept having this dream; I'm not sure what it means. But in the dream, this self-righteous blonde chick stabs me, and you want to know why?

Buffy: You had it coming.

Faith: That's one interpretation, but in my dream she does it for a guy. [Willow starts to sneak up behind Faith and is about to hit her with her backpack] Try it, Red, and you lose an arm. [Willow backs off] I wake up to find that this blonde chick isn't even dating the guy she was so nuts about. I mean, she's moved on to the first college beef stick she meets. And not only has she forgotten about the love of her life, she's forgot about the chick she nearly killed for him. So that's my dream... that and some stuff about cigars and tunnel. But, uh, tell me college girl, what does it mean?

Buffy: To me? Mostly that you still mouth off about things you don't understand. [Police sirens are heard] Uh oh, I guess somebody knows you're here [Faith hits Buffy]

Faith: Don't I? I know what it's like. You think you matter. You think you're a part of something and you get dumped. It's like the whole world is moving but you're stuck. Like those animals in the tar pits. It's like you just keep sinking a little deeper everyday and nobody even sees.

Faith: Don't tell me you don't see it, Joyce. You served your purpose. You squirted out the kid, raised her up, and now you might as well be dead! I mean, nobody cares! Nobody remembers! Especially not Buffy-fabulous-super-hero! Sooner or later you're gonna have to face it. She was over us a long time ago, Joyce. [voice rising to a shout] Too busy climbing onto her new boy toy to give a single thought to the people that matter! I mean, you're her mother and she just leaves you here to die!

Faith[in Buffy's body, about Faith]: Well, could be things are looking up. I mean, a little stint in the pokey. Show her the error of her ways. I'm sure there's some big ol' Bertha just waiting to shower her ripe little self with affection.

Faith: [in Buffy's body] 'Cause I could do anything I want and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness. I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you pop like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? [mockingly] Because it's wrong.

Spike: I get this chip out, you and me are going to have a confrontation.

[Buffy tries to convince Giles she truly is Buffy, despite being trapped in Faith's body.]

Buffy[in Faith's body]: Giles, you turned into a demon and I knew it was you. I mean, can't you just look into my eyes and be all intuitive?

Buffy[in Faith's body]: Oh! 'cause, uh... Ethan Rayne! And you have a girlfriend named Olivia, and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school - which is valid, lifestyle-wise. I mean, it's not like you're a slacker type, but... Oh, oh! When I had psychic power, I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. Wh-Do you want me to continue?

Giles: Actually, I beg you to stop.

Buffy[in Faith's body]: What's a stevedore?

[Faith, in Buffy's body, enters the church where three vampires are holding the parishioners hostage.]

Vampire: I told the cops, they send anyone in, I start the whole massacre thing.

Faith: [in Buffy's body] Well, I'm not the cops. I just came to pray.

Vampire: Now's a good time to start.

Faith: [in Buffy's body] You're not going to kill these people.

Vampire: Why not?

Faith: [in Buffy's body][earnestly this time] Because it's wrong.

Vampire: You're the Slayer.

Faith: [in Buffy's body] The one and only.

Adam: You fear death. Being immortal, you fear it more than those to whom it comes naturally. Vampires are a paradox.

Boone: Okay, we're a paradox. That's cool.

Adam: Demon in a human body. You walk in both worlds and belong to neither. I can relate.

Buffy: But someone could wish the whole world to be different, right? That's... possible?

Anya: Sure. Alternate realities. You could, uh, could have, like, a world without shrimp, or with, you know, nothing but shrimp. You could even make, like, a freaky world where Jonathan's like some kind of not-perfect mouth-breather, if that's what's blowing up your skirt these days. Just don't ask me to live there.

Buffy: I'm not entirely sure that we can trust our memories. Anya, tell them about the alternate universes.

Anya: Oh, okay. Say you really like shrimp a lot or we could say you don't like shrimp at all. "Blah, I wish there weren't any shrimp" you'd say to yourself-

Buffy: Stop! You're saying it wrong. I think that Jonathan may be doing something so that he's manipulating the world and we're all, like, his pawns.

Anya: So? She's a Slayer, he's a big soldier boy. What do they need you for?

Xander: Anya, look around: there's ghosts and shaking and people are going all Felicity with their hair. We're fresh out of super-people and somebody's gotta go back in there. Now, who's with me?

Spike: I am. I know I'm not the first choice for heroics, and Buffy's tried to kill me more than once, and I don't fancy a single one of you at all, but... Actually, all that sounds pretty convincing. [walks off.] I wonder if Asian House is open.

[Giles is singing and playing "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who at an espresso bar. Anya, Willow, Xander and Tara watch from the door, amazed. All three girls are riveted; Willow's and Anya's mouths are hanging open.]

Giles: [singing and playing "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd]
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
Well I must be traveling on now
There's too many places I've got to see
And if I stay here with you, girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as bird now--

[Giles suddenly shrieks as he realizes Spike is standing in the room.]

Spike: You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his resume', you might want to cast an eye to the front door every now and again.

Spike: What a surprise. The point is, they were once a real powerful group. It's not a stretch to say they ruled the world. And when they broke up everyone blamed Yoko, but the fact is the group split itself apart, she just happened to be there. You know how it is with kids. They go off to college, they grow apart. Way of the world.

Xander: You and Willow go do the superpower thing. I'll stay behind and putter around the batcave with crusty old Alfred here.

Giles: Ah, no. I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a job.

[amidst an argument between Buffy, Xander, and Willow]

Xander: Maybe that all changes when I'm off doin' sit-ups in Fort Dix!

Spike: [On getting Buffy to go where Adam wants her to] Right. The Initiative. But getting her there, that's what the bleeding discs are for, innit? I mean, the little witch gives her the info, and pop! All sends her back down the rabbit hole.

Spike: Damn right I did! You should have seen 'em, they won't be talking to each other for a long, long- [pointed stare from Adam] -hang on, I think I might have detected a small flaw.

Adam: So you failed.

Spike: Well, hey, you're supposed to be so smart, but you let me plan this thing! [Adam glares] Well, let's not quibble about who failed who, the important thing is making sure the Slayer is where we want-

Adam: Go.

Spike: Gone. [Walks to the door] So, um, we'll do this chip thing when I get back?

[Buffy explains Adam's evil plan]

Xander: Does anyone else miss the Mayor? "I just wanna be a big snake"?

Xander: So, no problem, all we need is combo-Buffy. Her with Slayer strength, Giles' multi-lingual know-how and Willow's witchy power. Yeah, don't tell me, I'm just full of helpful suggestions!

Giles: As a matter of fact you are.

Government Consel: [about the Initiative] It was an experiment. The Initiative represented the Government's interests in not only controlling the otherworldly menace, but harnessing its power for our own military purposes. The considered opinion of this counsel is that this experiment has failed. Once the prototype took control of the complex, our soldiers suffered a 40% casualty rate. Only through the actions of the deserter and a group of civilian insurrectionists that our losses were not total. I trust the irony of that is not lost on any of us. Maggie Walsh's vision was brilliant, but ultimately unsupportable. The demons cannot be harnessed. The end result cannot be controlled. It is therefore our recommendation that this project be terminated and all records concerning it expunged. Our soldiers'll be debriefed. Standard confidentiality clause. We will monitor the civilians and usual measures prepared should they try to go public. I don't think they will. The Initiative itself will be filled in with concrete. Burn it down, gentlemen. Burn it down, and salt the Earth.

Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz: I walked by your guidance counselor's office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there ... waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch.

Xander as Captain Willard: You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.

Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz: [contemptuous] You're neither. You're a whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.

Xander as Captain Willard: [nods] I'm getting a cramp.

Buffy: But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes, I mean you and your friends, your whole sex. Throw 'em in the sea for all I care. Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men, with your groping and spitting. All groin, no brain. Three billion of ya' passin' around the same worn out urge. Men... with your sales.

Computer: The demons have escaped. Please run for your lives.

Adam: This could be trouble.

Riley: We'd better make a fort.

Adam: I'll get some pillows.

Tara: [speaking for The First Slayer] I have no speech, no name. I live in the action of death. The blood cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction, absolute, alone.

Buffy: And you're sure this isn't just some fanboy thing? Because... I've fought more than a couple of pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.

Dracula: You know who I am. As I would know without question that you are Buffy Summers.

Buffy: You've heard of me?

Dracula: Naturally. You're known throughout the world.

Buffy: Naw. Really?

Dracula: Why else would I come here? For the sun? I came to meet the renowned... killer.

Buffy: Yeah, I prefer the term Slayer. You know, killer just sounds so...

Dracula: Naked?

Buffy: Like I... paint clowns or something. I'm the good guy, remember?

Dracula: Perhaps, but your power is rooted in darkness. You must feel it.

Buffy: No. You know what I feel? Bored.

[She attempts to stake Dracula, but he repeatedly dissipates into mist to avoid her]

Buffy: Okay. That's cheating.

Riley: What can you tell me about Dracula?

Spike: Dracula? [scoffs] Poncy bugger owes me £11, for one thing.

Riley: You know him?

Spike: Know him? We're old rivals. But then he got famous, forgot all about his foes. I'll tell you what - that glory hound's done more harm to vampires than any Slayer. His storygets out, and suddenly everybody knows how to kill us, the mirror bit...!

Riley: But he's not just a regular vampire. He has special powers, right?

Anya: Oh! [claps] I'm so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?

[Buffy, having killed Harmony's vampire minions, grabs an ax to cut Dawn free from her chains.]

Buffy: You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home! [swings ax]

Dawn: Yeah, well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me.

Buffy: Fine! I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night! [swings ax] That you got Anya hurt! [swings ax] Invited a vampire in! [swings ax] Got kidnapped! ...

[Giles and Buffy tour the magic shop Giles is about to buy]

Buffy: Giles, are you sure about this?

Giles: Why wouldn't I be?

Buffy: Well, aside from the fact that most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer... and have you ever run a store before?

Giles: I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except people pay for the things they don't return. It'll give me focus, increase my resources. And it'll prevent you lot from trampling all over my flat at all hours. There may even be some space for you to train in the back.

Buffy: Boy, you've really thought this through... How bored were you last year?

Buffy: Out for a walk by my house at night. I don't have time for this, William.

Spike: On your merry way, then. Contrary to one's self involved world view, your house happens to be directly between... parts and... other parts of this town. And I would pass by in the day but I feel I'm outgrowing my burst into flames phase.

Buffy: Fine. Keep going. I'll cut you a break.

Spike: Let me guess. You won't kill me. The whole crowd pleasing threats and swagger routine. Outstandingly original. You know, I was just passing through. Satisfied? I hope so because God knows you need some satisfaction in your life besides shagging Captain Cardboard. And... and I never really liked you anyway. And... and you have stupid hair.

Glory: And another thing I just want you to know, this whole "beat you to death" thing I'm doing? This is valuable time out of life I'm never gonna get back.

...

Glory: Wait, I've always wanted to try this. You know that thing with worms, where if you have one and you rip it in half, you get two worms. Do you think that'll work with you? [Buffy headbutts her] Ow! You hit me. What are you crazy? You can't go around hitting people. What were you, born in a barn? Fine, be that way! [grabs Buffy by the throat] I just noticed something, you have superpowers, that is so cool. Can you fly? [throws Buffy across the room]

Riley: It means yell real loud, so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.

Buffy: Look, I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package. But I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto. If there were just a few good descriptions of what took out the other Slayers, maybe it would help me to understand my mistake, to keep it from happening again.

Giles[uncomfortable with the topic]: Yes, well, the problem is after a final battle, it's difficult to get any... well, the Slayer's not... she's rather...

Giles: Well, I suppose if they're anything like me they just find the whole subject too—

Buffy: Unseemly? Damn, love ya, but you Watchers are such prigs sometimes.

Giles: Painful, I was going to say. [Giles and Buffy are very quiet for a moment] But you're right; accounts of the final battles would be very helpful. But there's no one left to tell the tales.

[Buffy has a sudden revelation]

Giles: What?

Spike: Lesson the first: a Slayer must always reach for her weapon. [morphs into vampire face] I've already got mine.

Spike: How many of my kind do you think you've done?

Buffy: Not enough.

Spike: Mm-hmm. And we just keep comin'. But you can kill a hundred, a thousand, a thousand thousand and the armies of Hell besides, and all we need is for one of us, just one, sooner or later, to have the thing we're all hoping for.

Buffy: And that would be what?

Spike: [whispers in her ear] One... good... day.

Spike: The first was all business, but the second -- she had a touch of your style. She was cunning, resourceful... oh, did I mention? Hot. I could have danced all night with that one.

Buffy: You think we're dancing?

Spike: That's all we've ever done. And the thing about the dance is, you never get to stop. Every day you wake up, it's the same bloody question that haunts you: "Is today the day I die?" Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: "What's it like? Where does it lead you?" And now, you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw, or the kicks you didn't land. She merely wanted it. Every Slayer... has a death wish.

[in a flashback, Spike snaps Nikki’s neck]

Spike: Even you. The only reason you've lasted as long as you have is you've got ties to the world...your mum, your brat kid sister, the Scoobies. They all tie you here, but you're just putting off the inevitable. Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second- the second - that happens...You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day. Here endeth the lesson. I just wonder if you'll like it as much as she did.

Giles: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

Anya: I for one didn't want to start my day with a slaughter... Which really just goes to show how much I've grown!

[Anya is looking over the day's receipts]

Anya: Hey. Hey! HEY! HEY!!!

Giles: Anya, your "heys" are startling the customers.

Xander: And pretty much the state!

Anya: You sold somebody a Kohl's amulet and a Sobekian bloodstone!

Giles: Yes, I believe I did.

Anya: Are you stupid or something?

Giles: Allow me to answer that question with a firing.

Xander: She's kidding. An, we talked about the employee-employer vocabulary no-nos. That was number five.

Xander: Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers.

Anya: Great! Thank you very much for those nightmares.

Spike: Okay, how 'bout this one. Twice in recent memory, she's had the lover-wiccas do a deinvite on the house. Keep out specific vamps. Ever ask yourself why she's never taken my name off the guest list?

Riley: Because you're harmless.

Spike: Oh yeah, right. Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What do you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. Not that she doesn't like you ... but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough.

Spike: Well, yeah. But that's not your problem, even if I wasn't in the picture you're never going to be able to hold onto her. [Riley sticks his finger into the hole he's just made in Spike's chest] Oh! Bloody hell!

Buffy: What more do you want from me Riley? I've given you everything I have. My heart, my body and soul... and if that isn't enough for you then we really have a problem

Xander: [to Anya] I've gotta say something, 'cause I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do, the way you think, the way you move. I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life... like a man. I just thought you might like to know.

Giles: Um, Anya, while, while I completely trust you uh, uh, to take care of the inventory and the money, um ... dealing with people requires a certain, uh ... finesse.

Anya: [angrily] I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom! I can completely lie to the health inspector. I can, you know, distract him with coy smiles, and-and bribe him with money and goods.

Tara: [hastily] Um, just good friends. [Willow takes her hand off Tara's knee.]

Buffy: Remember,-

Spike: Yeah, yeah. "Hurt them and I'll stake you good and proper". Sing me a new one sometime. That one's gone stale.

Buffy: I've had a lot of people talking at me the last few days. Everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am. And I've finally figured out why. Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them. Glory ... came to my home today.

Buffy: Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her. You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some semblance of meaning.

...

Buffy: You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal. So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr. Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary...

Buffy: Yes you are. [holds Dawn's hand] It's blood, Summers blood, it's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here, you are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.

...

Buffy: I have to get you back home though, Mom's freaking out.

Dawn: Oh, is she mad about the whole fire thing?

Buffy: I think you sort of have a "Get out of jail free" card on account of big love and trauma.

Spike: Right, so I knew the little girl was in the coal bin so I ripped it open very violently... and gave her to a nice family where they were never ever mean to her and didn't lock her in a coal bin.

Buffy: What... is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?

Spike: A d-Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean... do you want it to be?

Harmony: Who is-? Oh wait, I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning, now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Drudzilla.

Spike: Harm-

Harmony: You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking, because my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl, or Charlize Theron.

Spike: Harm, you moron, this is Drusilla.

Harmony: You have got some nerve coming back here after breaking my Boo-Boo's heart.

Drusilla: [Mouths to Spike] Boo-Boo?

Spike: Oh, what...Ohh! Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why... do you bitches torture me?

Buffy: Which question do you want me to answer first?

Buffy: Spike, the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious

Buffy: I don't know about you guys, but I've had it with super-strong little women who aren't me.

Giles: A fourteen-year-old is too old to be babysat, it's not fair to her.

Buffy: What'd she make you do?

Giles: Well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance, and we ate cookie dough and talked about boys.

Buffy: [laughs] Oh, I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my fun-time Buffy party night involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window. So if you wanna trade... No wait, I wouldn't give that memory up for anything.

Giles: Robot? Sounds interesting.

Buffy: We're gonna work on it in the morning, I mean, unless you want to stay for a while, and then you and I could-

Xander: The advantage of having a thousand-year-old girlfriend. Inside scoop.

Tara: There's a Santa Claus?

Anya: Mm-hmm. Been around since, like, the 1500s. But he wasn't always called Santa. But with, you know, Christmas night, flying reindeer, coming down the chimney — all true.

Dawn: All true?

Anya: Well, he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as, you know, disembowel children. But otherwise...

Tara: The reindeer part was nice.

Buffy: She's cold.

911 Operator: The body is cold?

Buffy: No, my mom!

[Willow is searching for something to wear]

Willow: Have you seen the blue one? Joyce liked the blue one.

Tara: I can check the Laundry room again if you want.

Willow: What about Purple? What does Purple mean?

Tara: I think it means...royal. Purple means royalty.

Willow: I can't be Royal when I'm at the hospital. "Oh, look at me, I'm the queen of everything, I'm better than you!". [Crying] I have to go see Buffy and be supportive. Why do all my clothes have stupid things on them? Why can't I dress like a grown up? Can't I be a grown up?

Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? I-is that the helpful thing to do?

Xander: Guys—

Willow: The way you behave—

Anya: Nobody will tell me.

Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!

Anya: But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I knew her, and then she's— there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead... anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And... and Xander's crying and not talking, and... and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why! [She begins to cry.]

Willow: [long pause] We don't know. How it works. Why.

Xander: I'll tell you what it is is. It's the frickin' doctors. I mean, they just let her out, clean bill of health. Dig a hole in your skull, here's a band aid, next. They should have checked her over, kept her in. We don't got enough monsters in this town, the doctors gotta help them out?

Giles: I, uh, jump out of the circle and I jump back in it and then um, I shake my gourd.

Buffy: I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey pokey and turn themselves around!

Giles: [affecting annoyance] Go quest.

...

[Giles sighs, then reluctantly jumps out of the circle, jumps back in, and shakes his gourd.]

Buffy: And that's what it's all about.

Tara: Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I did some pretty dumb stuff like lying to my family and staying out all night.

Spike: I'm willing to wager when all's said and done, Buffy likes it rough.

Spike: [laughs sarcastically] Oh, I get it. That's very crafty. [nods] Glory's worked the kind of mojo where anyone who sees her little presto-change-o instantly forgets. And yours truly, being somewhat other than human ... stands immune.

Giles: Excellent. Now. Do we suspect there may be some kind of connection between Ben and Glory?

Spike: Found Ben's room at Glory's. Didn't learn much.

Xander: Wait, wait, wait. Ben? At Glory's? [Spike rolls his eyes.] You're saying all this time he's been subletting from her?

Spike: This ... is gonna be worth it.

[Spike bitch-slaps Xander upside the head. The two of them both grab their heads in pain.]

Spike/Xander: Ow!!

Glory: I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who's not crazy? Look around, everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up, shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out 'cause they don't want 'em anymore. I'm crazy? Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind, 'cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.

Buffy: I sacrificed Angel to save the world. I loved him so much, but I knew what was right. I don't have that anymore. I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world, if these are the choices, if everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish- I just wish my mom was here.

Buffy: Weapons are by the TV. I'll grab the stuff upstairs.

Spike: Buffy... If you wanna just hand them over the threshold...

Buffy: Come in, Spike.

Spike: Presto. No barrier. I won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself.

Buffy: We're not all gonna make it. You know that?

Spike: Yeah. Always knew I'd go down fightin'.

Buffy: I'm counting on you to protect her.

Spike: Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight.

Buffy: I'll be a minute.

Spike: I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's...Get your stuff. I'll be here

Tara: [pauses on the way to the door, points at Giles] You're a killer. [Quieter] This is all set down. [continues towards the door]

Buffy: [to Willow] Stay close but don't crowd her. We'll follow in a minute. [to the rest of the gang] Hey, everybody knows their jobs. Remember, the ritual starts - we all die. And I'll kill anyone who comes near Dawn. [leaves]

Buffy: Dawn, listen to me, listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other.You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world-is to live in it. Be brave. Live... for me.

Willow: Yeah. He's gonna head back as soon as he can. I'm not sure, like maybe a couple days.

Tara: How did he take it?

Willow: Um, I'm not sure. I mean... glad, but kinda weirded out? Which I get, you know. Lots of "Dear Lords". And I think I actually heard him clean his glasses.

Spike: [to Buffy] Uh ... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I had done that ... even if I didn't make it ... you wouldn't have had to jump. But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... Every night I'd save you.

Spike: I was going to go inside but I overheard you and the superfriends having a special moment and I came over a bit queasy. Say, aren't you leaving a hole in the middle of some soggy group hug?

Spike: Well, I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment.

Buffy: [looking down] I was happy.

[Spike stares at her, confused and shocked]

Buffy: Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time ... didn't mean anything ... nothing had form ... but I was still me, you know? And I was warm ... and I was loved ... and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or ... any of it, really ... but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not. [near tears] I was torn out of there. Pulled out ... by my friends. Everything here is ... hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... this is hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that ... knowing what I've lost... [pause] They can never know. Never.

Buffy: Easy, we burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance. Plus, fire? Pretty. [The Scoobies look at Buffy in horror] You guys, I'm kidding. OK, it's bills, it's money, it's pieces of paper sent by bureaucrats that we've never even met. It's not like it's the end of the world... which is too bad, you know, 'cause that, I'm really good at.

Dawn: Oh, come on, Tara. I am so old enough to do research. Do you really think I'm not mature enough?

Tara: I think you're very mature for your age ... but you're still only fifteen.

Dawn: Right. Fifteen, as in teenager. You know, if you don't let me look at the pictures, I'm gonna learn everything I know about demons on the street.

Tara: [sighs and hands Dawn a book] Knock yourself out.

Dawn: Thank you. See? No biggie. I can totally handle it.

[Dawn opens the book to the first page]

Dawn: That's a weird place for a horn... [stares at the page, then closes the book, shaken] That's not a horn.

...

Buffy: [seeing Dawn doing research] You do research now? Would you like a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with that?

Giles: He kept poking me with his hook. I sent him over to Charmed Objects. With any luck, he'll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a fifty-foot Giles that squishes annoying teeny pirates.

[Xander has announced his engagement to Anya; the two are kissing with uncomfortable intensity.]

Spike: I died so many years ago.
But you can make me feel,
Like it isn't so.
Why you come to be with me,
I think I finally know.
You're scared, ashamed of what you feel.
You can't tell the ones you love,
You know they couldn't deal.
Whisper in the deadman's ear,
It doesn't make it real.
That's great,
But I don't wanna play.
Being with you touches me,
More than I can say.
But since I'm only dead to you,
I'm saying "stay away"
And let me rest in peace.

All: And we are caught in the fire
The point of no return.
So we will walk through the fire,
And let it
Burn.

[From "Something To Sing About"]

Buffy: Life's a song you don't get to rehearse
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse
Still my friends don't know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for.
All the joys life sends
Family and friends
All the twists and bends
Knowing that it ends
Well that depends
On if they let you go
On if they know enough to know
That when you've bowed
You leave the crowd
There was no pain;
No fear, no doubt
'Til they pulled me out of Heaven
So that's my refrain
I live in Hell
'Cause I was expelled from Heaven.
I think I was in Heaven.

["Something to Sing About"]

Spike: Life's not a song;
Life isn't bliss.
Life is just this.
It's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
So one of us is living.

Tara: To what? Violate my mind like that? How could you, Willow? How could you after what Glory did to me?

Willow: Violate you? I... I-I didn't ... mean anything like that, I-I, I just wanted us not to fight any more. I love you.

Tara: If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear.

Willow: But I-I just wanted to make things better. Better for us.

Tara: But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will. We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together.

Willow: Okay. I'm ... I realize I, I did it wrong.

Tara: You did it the way you're doing everything. When things get rough, you... you don't even consider the options. You just ... you just do a spell. It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for.

Willow: Hey. It is, i-it's working. [Tara just looks at her, then looks down.] Tara, please. I need you, baby. I need you. I don't need magic, I-I don't, I ... let me prove it to you, okay? I, I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell. I swear.

[Tara looks back at her.]

Tara: Go a week.

Giles: Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With... glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably.

...

Giles: We'll get our memory back, it'll all be right as rain.

Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy-boy accent. You English men are always so... bloody hell! [counting them on his fingers.] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god... I'm English.

Giles: Welcome to the Nancy tribe.

Spike: You don't suppose you and I...we're not related, are we?

Anya: There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.

Giles: [gives her a flattered smile, then turns back to Spike] Yes, and you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity and ... disappointment. Older brother?

Amy: Everything feels weird. I mean, it's like ... I felt like I was in that cage for weeks![Willow looks nervous] But it can still be OK ... right? I-I can still get into the swing of things, like ... prom's coming up. I-I'm so hoping Larry would ask me. We would make such a splash at... [sees Willow's expression] Oh. Oh, God. [sighs, anxiously] He hasn't asked someone else, has he?

Spike: Yeah, now. But eventually your friends are going to figure out a way to bring you back to living color. Get dressed if you can find your clothes and push off, 'cause if I can't have all of you...[looks down]...hey, that's cheating.

Buffy: So you three have, what? Banded together to be pains in my ass?

Warren: We're your arch-nemesises...ses. You may have beaten us this time, Slayer, but next time... um... uh, next time...

Anya: Well... you know, sometimes I'll do something or say something, and then he has to say stuff like, "It is incorrect for you to appreciate money so much," or-or, "Observe: here is how a real human would behave."

Halfrek: Oh, so he corrects you?

Buffy: We need to get that burger analyzed. We need to find out if it used to be people.

Riley: You want me to say I like seeing you in bed with that idiot? Or that blinding orange is your very best color? Or that that burger smell is appealing?

Buffy: You smelled the smell?

Riley: Buffy, none of that means anything, it doesn't touch you. You're still the first woman I ever loved and the strongest woman I've ever known. And, I'm not advertising this to the missus, but you're still quite the hottie.

Anya: [practicing her wedding vows] I, Anya, promise to... love you, to cherish you, to honor you, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?

Anya: I, Anya, promise to cherish you. Yeah, no, not cherish. Um, I promise to have sex with you whenever I want, and uh, uh, pledge to be your friend, your wife, and your confidante, and your sex poodle-

[As Xander wanders the streets in the rain, Anya recites a final version]

Anya: I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because... I love you, and I'll always love you. And, before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. N-not even a person, really. And I'd seen what love could do to people, and it was... hurt, and sadness. A-alone was better. And then, suddenly, there was you! And-and you knew me. You saw me. And it was this... thing. You make me feel safe and warm, so, I... get it now. I finally get love, Xander! I really do.

Doctor: The sister. She was introduced last year. It didn't make a lot of sense though, did it Buffy? She altered the fabric of her reality drastically. (meta-commenting on how the abrupt introduction of Dawn altered the entire series)

Doctor: In her mind, she's the central figure in a fantastic world beyond imagination. She's surrounded herself with friends, most with their own superpowers. Together they face grand, overblown conflicts against an assortment of monsters, both imaginary and rooted in actual myth.

Doctor: Buffy, you used to create these grand villains to battle against. And now what is it? Just ordinary students you went to high school with. No gods or monsters, just three pathetic little men... who like playing with toys.

Buffy: 'Cause what's more real? A sick girl in an institution, or some kind of supergirl, chosen to fight demons and save the world? That's ridiculous. A girl who sleeps with the vampire she hates?!? Yeah, that makes sense.

Buffy: Then I was like... No, it wasn't like, I was in an institution. There were, um, doctors, and nurses and other patients, they told me that I was sick... I guess crazy. And that, um, Sunnydale and all of this, none of it was real.

Xander: Oh, come on, that's ridiculous! What, you think this isn't real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy?

Tara: There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives. It's a long... important process, and... can we just skip it? Can... can you just be kissing me now?

Buffy: You tell them if you want. Go ahead. Rock the boat. Rock and roll it the hell over. My friends and I'll still be groovin' with the movin'. [She stakes the first vamp] Know why? I tried to kill my friends, my sister, last week and guess how much they hate me now? Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you... They'll deal.

Anya: Oh, gee, then he must have meant it, 'cause hey, guys never say anything they don't really mean, do they?

Crying woman: But we-

Anya: They say, "I love you," and, and you think it's true. They say, "Oh, Anya, I want to be with you for the rest of my life," and, and you believe them, you believe they feel the same way about you, because that's the way love's supposed to be, right?

Crying woman: Who's Anya?

Anya: And then you get all excited with the tingly anticipation, but wait! Not so fast! There's the apocalypse, a-and the back from the grave, and the blah blah blah blah blah, and by the time you're finally standing there in that beautiful expensive white dress you've dreamed about ever since you became human, he's gets all heebie-jeebie and decides, "you know, I'd rather just go steady."

Buffy: Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business.

Warren: You think you could just do that to me? You think I'd let you get away with that? [laughs some seconds] Think again. [Points a gun at Buffy and shoot five times, three of them while he runs away]

Tara: [Has been shot in her chest from behind, looking confused at Willow] Your shirt...

Dark Willow: I'm talking. The pain will be unbearable, but you won't be able to move... A bullet usually travels faster than this, of course. But the dying? It seems like it takes forever. Something, isn't it? One tiny piece of metal destroys everything. It ripped her insides out... It took her light away. From me. From the world... And now the one person who should be here is gone - and a waste like you gets to live. A tiny piece of metal. Can you feel it now? I said - can you feel it? [Willow unravels the stitches.]

Warren: Please, God... I did wrong, I see that now. I need... jail! I need... But you - you don't want this. You're not a bad person. Not like me--

Buffy: [calling out in the distance] Willow!

Warren: When you get caught - you'll lose them too. Your friends. You don't want that. I know you're in pain, but--

Anya: She killed him. Ripped him apart and bloodied up the forest doing it. Now she's coming here and the two of you are next.

Andrew: Oh my god, Warren!

Jonathon: Oh my god, me!

Andrew: Think your little witch buddy's gonna stop with us? You saw her! She's a truck-driving magic mama! And we've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers! And not one of you bunch has the midi-clorians to stop her!

Xander: [after a brief silence] You've never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?

Anya: The annoying virgin has a point.

Dark Willow: Let me tell you something about Willow. She's a loser. Always has been. She got picked on through junior high, high school, right up until college. With her stupid mousy ways. And now? [laughs bitterly] Willow's a junkie. The only thing Willow was ever good for...the only thing I ever had going for me were those moments...just moments...where Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. And that will never happen again.

...

Dark Willow: [to Buffy] Please! This is your pitch? You hate it here as much as I do! I'm just more honest about it. You're trying to sell me on the world? The one where you lie to your friends when you're not trying to kill them? Where you screw a vampire just to feel and insane asylums are the comfy alternative? This world? Buffy, it's me! I know you were happier when you were in the ground. The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. Until Willow brought you back. You know, with magic?

Buffy: She has. She was ... and I barely even noticed. Giles, everything's just been so... [sighs.] Xander left Anya at the altar, and Anya's a vengeance demon again... [Giles looks shocked.] Dawn's a total klepto ... money's been so tight that I've been slinging burgers at the Doublemeat Palace ... [looks down at the floor.] And I've been sleeping with Spike.

[Giles stares at her... then starts laughing. He covers his mouth with his hand but can't stop. Buffy stares at him.]

Xander: I’m not joking. I know you’re in pain. I can’t imagine the pain you’re in. And I know you’re about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid and hey, still wanna hang. You’re Willow.

Willow: Don’t call me that!

Xander: First day of kindergarten. You cried because you broke the yellow crayon, and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion. But the thing is? Yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love ... scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. If you wanna kill the world? Well, then start with me. I've earned that.

Buffy: My sister's about to go to the same school that tried to kill me for three years. I can't change districts, I can't afford private school, and I can't begin to prepare for what may come out of there. So peachy with a side of keen, that would be me.

Buffy: Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who's invisible...

Dawn: I think it's pretty safe to say I'm not going to see anyone who's invisible.

Willow: The coven, they're the most amazing women I've ever met, but there's this look they get, like I'm going to turn them all into bangers and mash. And I'm not even sure what that is.

Giles: It's all connected. You're connected to a great power, whether you feel it or not.

Willow: I wish you'd just take it from me.

Giles: You know we can't. This isn't a hobby or an addiction. It's inside you now. You're responsible for it.

Willow: Will they always be afraid of me?

Giles: Maybe. Can you handle that?

Willow: I deserve a lot worse. I killed people, Giles.

Giles: I've not forgotten.

Willow: When you brought me here, I thought it was to kill me, or to lock me in a mystical dungeon for all eternity, or with the torture. Instead you go all Dumbledore on me. I'm learning about magic, Gaia, energy, and the roots system.

Giles: Do you want to be punished?

Willow: I want to be Willow.

Giles: You are. In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed.

[Convinced he's going mad, Spike is tormented by The First.]

Spike: I had a speech... I learned it all... Oh god, she won't understand, she won't understand...

The First[as Warren]: Of course she won't understand, Sparky. I'm beyond her understanding. She's a girl! With sugar, and spice, and everything... useless. Unless you're baking. I'm more than that. More than flesh...

The First[as Glory]: ... more than blood... I'm... you know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me. Oh, my name will be on everyone's lips. Assuming their lips haven't been torn off. But not just yet. That's all right, though. ...

The First[as Adam]: ... I can be patient. Everything is well within parameters. She's exactly where I want her to be. And so are you, Number 17. You're right where you belong.

The First[as Mayor Wilkins]: So, what'd you think? You'd get your soul back, and everything'd be jim-dandy? A soul's slippier than a greased weasel! Why do you think I sold mine? Well, you probably thought that you'd be your own man, and I respect that. But you...

The First[as Drusilla]: ...never will. You'll always be mine. You'll always be in the dark with me... singing our little song. You like our little songs, don't you? You've always liked them. Right from the beginning. And that's where we're going, ...

The First[as the Master]: ... right back to the beginning! Not the Bang. Not the Word. The true beginning. The next few months are going to be quite a ride, and I think we're all going to learn something about ourselves in the process. You'll learn you're a pathetic schmuck, if it hasn't sunk in already. Look at you, trying to do what's right - just like her. You still don't get it. It's not about right. Not about wrong.

Xander: At a spanking new Hellmouth High. Please, outside of drugs, violence, and unwanted pregnancy and the unleashing of hordes of Armageddon that comes pouring out of its schools foundation every now and then, what trouble could these kids have?

Buffy: Anya, that thing you created burst through solid pavement and ate her dog.

Anya: [anguished] Oooh, puppy!

Xander: Wait — that gets your sad noise? People's lives are in danger, and you give it up for the Yorkie?

Spike: Ain't we in a sodding engine?

Buffy: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?

Spike: Well, yes. Where have you been all night?

Spike: I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams. So weak... did you make me weak? Thinking of you. Holding myself and spilling useless buckets of salt over your... ending. Angel, he should've warned me. Makes a good show of forgetting, but it's here. In me. All the time. The spark. I wanted to give you... what you deserve. And I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn.

Buffy: Your soul?

Spike: Bit worse for lack of use.

Buffy: You got your soul back. How?

Spike: It's what you wanted, right? It's... it's what you wanted, right? And-and now everybody's in here... talking. Everything I did... everyone I... and HIM. And it. The other. The thing... beneath... beneath you. It's here, too. Everybody. They all just tell me go. Go... to Hell.

Buffy: Why? Why would you do that?

Spike: Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he musn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev... To be a kind of man. And she shall look on him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything's okay, right? C-can we rest now? Buffy? Can we rest?

Spike: William's a good boy. Carries her water, carries her sin. Supposed to get easier, isn't it. Supposed to help to help, but it doesn't. Still so heavy.

Xander: We should've put a leash on him.

Buffy: Yes, let's tie ourselves to the crazy vampire.

Buffy: It's pretty easy. Spike follows the exciting smell of blood and we follow the fairly ripe smell of Spike.

Dawn: It's smellementary. Also I'm sure there's tunes like this, you know procedures we can use that don't involve magic spells, just good solid detective work. And we can develop a data base of tooth impressions and demon skin samples and I could wear high heels more often.

Xander: Figuring out how to control your magic seems a lot like hammering a nail. At the end of the hammer, you have the power, but no control. It takes, like, two strokes to hit the nail in, or you could hit your thumb.

Xander: So you choke up. Control, but no power. It could take like ten strokes to knock the nail in. Power, control. It's a trade off.

Willow: That's actually not a bad analogy. Except, I'm less worried about hitting my thumb, and more worried about going all black-eyed baddy and bewitching that hammer into cracking my friends' skulls open like coconuts.

Xander: Right. Ouch.

Buffy: I need to fix this. I don't usually get a heads up before somebody dies.

Cassie: You think I want this? You think I don't care? [cries] Believe me, I want to... be here, do things. I want to graduate from high school, and I want to go to the stupid winter formal... I have this friend, and it would be fun to go with him. Just to dance and hear lame music to wear a silly dress and laugh and stuff... I'd like to go. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out 'cause they're really mean and I think they're gonna be fat. I'd love to backpack across the country or, I don't know, fall in love, but I won't. I just never will.

Anya: I uh, I don't talk to people much. I mean, I talk to them, but they don't talk to me. Except to say that "your questions are irksome," or "perhaps you should take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river."

[Buffy, Xander and Willow argue about whether to kill the re-demonized Anya.]

Xander: You think we haven't seen all this before? The part where you just cut us all out. Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law. If you knew what I felt -

Buffy: I killed Angel!! Do you even remember that?! I would have given up everything I had to be with... I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life! And I put a sword through his heart because I had to.

Buffy: Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you! Do you remember giving me Willow's message? "Kick his ass."

Willow[shocked]: I never said that!

Xander: This is different.

Buffy: It is always different! It's always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line and that is always going to be me! You get down on me for cutting myself off but in the end, the Slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guidebook, no all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law.

Xander: There has to be another way.

Buffy: Then please find it.

[Xander walks out the front door. Buffy turns to Willow, silently asking her help to dispatch Anya.]

Willow: I can't. I'm sorry. [Buffy grabs a sword and heads outside]

Xander: You don't understand. This isn't an intervention. Buffy's coming to kill you.

Anya: She's coming to try.

Xander[exasperated]: Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today? You guys are friends! How could you talk like this?

Anya: I have a job to do. And so does Buffy. Xander, you've always seen what you wanted to but you knew, sooner or later, it would come to this.

Buffy: [furious] Where do I start with the bad? First, you told me you were going to the library. Second, you do not go out on a date without informing me first. Third... Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky!

[Xander finds Buffy straddling R.J. in the counseling office.]

R.J.: Hey guy, it's called knocking.

Xander: I'm sorry, it's just checkout time was an hour ago. We were hoping to make up the bed. And also, it's a classroom, you chowderhead! [to Buffy] Now get off the boy, Buffy, we're going home.

Willow: Damn love spell! I have tried every anti-love spell spell I can find.

Anya: Even if you found the right one, guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love-spell spell... spell.

Willow: What?

[The women are threatening one another with what they're each going to do to win R.J.'s love]

Holden: Hey, I don't mean to be Count Buttinsky here, but you just don't seem as thrilled. Is it because we're gonna fight?

Buffy: It's because I'm gonna win.

Holden: Hello! Two years of Tae Kwon Do and vampire strength. I think somebody's counting their chickens.

Buffy: You're not leaving this graveyard. Can't let you.

...

Buffy: If you knew what I've done, what I've let myself become. My best friends don't even know. You'd laugh if you heard some of the things I've done to them.

Holden: Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you.

Holden: Oh my God!

Buffy: Oh, your God what?

Holden: Oh, well, not my God. Because I defy him and all of his works. Does he exist? Is there word on that by the way?

Buffy: Nothing solid.

The First (as Cassie): [after trying to trick Willow into believing Tara wants her to kill herself] I can see it now. Candlelight, the Indigo Girls playing, picture of your dead girlfriend on your bloody lap... [mocking] Oh, baby, you left such a big hole. It hurt so bad! [serious] You don't know hurt. This last year's gonna seem like cake after what I put you and your friends through, and I am not a fan of easy death. Fact is, the whole good versus evil, balancing the scales thing? I'm over it. I'm done with the mortal coil. But believe me, I'm going for a big finish.

Anya: All I'm saying is soulless Spike would have had me upside down and half-way to happyland by now.

Young Woman Vampire: Is that all I was to you, a one-bite stand?

Spike: Well, I certainly didn't off her. Where are you getting this? You know I can't.

Buffy: Right. The chip.

Spike: No, not the chip! Not the chip, dammit. You honestly think I'd go to the end of the underworld and back to get my soul and then— Buffy, I can barely live with what I did. It haunts me. All of it. If you think that I would add to the body count now, you are crazy.

Spike: [to Buffy] As daft a notion as "Soulful Spike the Killer" is, it is nothing compared to the idea that another girl could mean anything to me. This chip—they did to me. I couldn't help it. But the soul, I got on my own—for you.

Buffy: I know.

Spike: So, yeah. I go and pass the time... with someone. But that's all it is is time, 'cause—God, help me, Buffy—it's still all about you.

Willow: I am Willow. I am Death. If you dare defy me, I will call down my fury, exact fresh vengeance, and make your worst fears come true! OK?

Xander: There was this one guy, he hurt her real bad. So she paid him back. She killed him, but she did it real slow. See, first she stopped his heart, and then she replaced it with darkness, and then she made him live his life like that. But he still had to go do his job, see his friends, wake up in the morning and go to bed at night, but he had to do it all... empty. Without anything to look forward to... ever.

Xander: Well, then she tore out his intestines and rubbed it in his face and took pictures of it.

Andrew: Oh, God.

Xander: But she's downstairs now. Don't worry about her.

The First (as Buffy): I have to admit I'm glad it worked out this way, I was going to bleed Andrew but you look a lot better with your shirt off... To be honest, I'm getting a little tired of subtle... I think it's about time we brought some authority to our presence... Now Spike, you wanna see what a real vampire looks like?

Buffy: [to Spike] You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I believe in you, Spike.

Buffy: [to Willow] He's been feasting off human blood for weeks. He's been having some pretty bad withdrawals. I think we need to get him some blood.

Willow: [enthusiastically & happily] Do you want me to kill Anya?

Buffy: No, we should probably try to wean him off humans. He'll have to make due with animal blood.

Willow: I'll go get some then.

...

Buffy: You don't mind?

Willow: Oh no, I have to get out of the house, Xander is installing the new windows and he keeps giving lectures on proper tool maintenance. Tool talk not my thing.

Xander: Hey, junior Slayers, don't look so worried. I mean, sure, we don't know where Spike is or how to fight the First, or if and when the super-styled vampire is gonna attack us all. However, house — boarded up. Now all we gotta do is trap this Übervamp in the pantry, and it's game over.

Willow: Xander, newbies. Let's ease them into the whole "jokes in the face of death" thing.

Willow: Uhm, Buffy? I just.. I-I want you to know that I'm, I'm really sorry for letting you down. You know, here, before with the magic going all "aaah" and me going all "eeeh" and everything getting all "rrrr".

Giles: I'm not sure. The First predates everything we've ever known. Or can know. It's everywhere, it's pure. I don't know if we can fight it.

Buffy: You're right. We don't know how to fight it. We don't know when it'll come. [We] can't run, can't hide... can't pretend it's not the end 'cause it is. Something has always... been there to try and destroy the world. We've... beaten them back, but we're not dealing with them anymore. We're dealing with the reason they exist. Evil. The strongest. The First.

Giles: Buffy, I, um... I-I know you're... you're tired...

Buffy: I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. [near sobbing] I'm standing on the mouth of Hell and it is going to swallow me whole. [hardens] And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Well, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now, 'cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on, we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts, one by one, until the First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil. And that's us. Any questions?

Willow: [to Buffy] Are you sure this thing called itself The First?

Buffy: Pretty sure. It claimed to be the original evil, the one that came before anything else.

Anya: Please, how many times have I heard that line in my demon days? "I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?" [everyone stares at her] Or terrified. Whatever.

Andrew: It's like—well, it's almost like this metaphor for womanhood, isn't it? The sort of flowering that happens when a girl realizes that she's part of a fertile heritage stretching back to Eve, and-

Xander: I'll pay you to talk about Star Wars again.

Vi: It's like a gay bar...but with demons.

Xander: They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary.

Buffy: I know. But you should go. This trip is important for the girls, to understand the source of their power, and know how to use it right.

Giles: I don't think they appreciate the gravity of what we're undertaking. It's frightening and it's difficult. Then, apparently someone told them that the vision quest consists of me driving them to the desert, doing the hokey pokey.. until a spooky rasta mama slayer arrives and speaks to them in riddles.

Kennedy: Let's start with the easy stuff. How long have you known... that you were gay?

Willow: Wait. That's easy? And what, you just assume that I'm gay. I mean, presume much?

Kennedy: Okay, sorry. How long have you enjoyed having sex with women?

Willow: Hey! What, you think you have some sort of special lesbo-dar or something?

Buffy: You think I'm losing sight of the big picture, but I'm not. When Spike had that chip, it was like having him in a muzzle. It was wrong. You can't beat evil by doing evil. I know that.

Lissa: I can't even figure out if I've got the right kind of rope.

Xander: That depends on what you need it for. Something like functional around the house, or, you know, recreational -- by which I mean, for example, boating or mountain climbing -- not for tying someone up for sexy, funky fun... In conclusion, rope can be useful in various ways.

Robin: Well, then, I'd, um, I'd like to take you out to dinner, if that's all right with you. I mean, you don't have to. I'm certainly not saying come to dinner if you enjoy having a job. [chuckles] You know, I may have to make up a document saying I didn't just say that and have you sign it.

Buffy: Sure. I'd be happy to have dinner with you.

Robin: Great. I'll draw up the paperwork.

Buffy: [about a date with Principal Wood] Or it could be work-related. Maybe I'm getting promoted for doing such a good job.

Willow: Oh! Yeah. Oh, nothing too heavy, though. Just the lighter, safer stuff. Uh, if Kennedy asks, her pointy stuff's right there. See you inside. [to Buffy] So much cooler than Snyder!

Wood: [when Willow left] She really almost destroyed the world?

Buffy: Yep.

Buffy: Oh I don't know. It's just... The First is coming... and look at us, the army! We've got a bunch of fighters with nothing to hit, a wicca who won't-a, and the brains of our operation wears oven mitts.

Xander: Well, yeah, but only because you kinda told us to. You're our leader, Buffy, as in "follow the".

Buffy: Well, from now on, I'm your leader as in "do what I say".

Xander: Jawohl. But let's not try to forget, we're also your friends.

Anya: I'm not.

Buffy: Then why are you here? Aside from getting rescued, what is that you do?

Andrew: You caught me catching up on an old favorite. It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it? Adventure and heroics and discovery — don't they just take you away? Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind. A little tale I like to call... Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyrs.

[A vampire knocks Buffy to the ground. Cut to Andrew in his "study."]

Andrew: Ouch! My goodness! Things look bad for the Slayer, don't they? She didn't see that second vampire, concealed by cover of darkness, ready—

[There's a knock at the door, which Andrew ignores.]

Andrew: ... ready to attack and make her his own vampirical spawn.

[Cut to the bathroom, where Andrew sits on the closed toilet, trying to continue his narration.]

Andrew: Let's rejoin them now to see—

[Suddenly, Anya barges in.]

Anya: For God's sakes, Andrew! You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?

Andrew: Entertaining and educating.

Anya: Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?

Buffy: Are you still filming me? Stop!

Andrew: But it’s a valuable record. An important document for the ages. A Slayer in action.

Buffy: A nerd in pain. Would they like that? ’cause we could do that.

Andrew: It’s a full house. I think it’s a good time to do some introductions, don’t you, gentle viewers?

...

Andrew: [bright fantasy shot, clear, emotional voice] You’ve already met Buffy. She’s beautiful, with a lion’s heart and the face of an angel. She’s never afraid because she knows her side will always win. [Spike enters shot, somehow shirtless] Buffy and Spike have some kind of history. You can feel the heat between them although, technically as a vampire, he’s room-temperature. [Anya enters shot, eating grapes] Anya. A feisty waif with a fiery temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides even from herself. [pan to unnamed Potential Slayer eating cereal] This lovely girl... [uncertain - back to normal voice] I don't remember her name.

Andrew: There something you can see going on between Principal Wood and Spike ... sexual tension you could cut with a knife!

[Andrew is filming Spike smoking a cigarette. We see Spike through the camera]

Spike: Hey, I told you get that thing out of my face! Now get out of here before I tear your head off!

Andrew: Spike, the light was behind you.

Spike: Oh sorry. [Takes a step forward] Hey, I told you to get that...

Giles: I told you my concerns when you recklessly chose to remove the chip from his head.

Robin: Wait, sorry — chip?

Giles: Well, uh, it's a... long story.

Buffy: The military put a chip in Spike's head so he couldn't hurt anyone.

Giles: And that would be the abridged version.

Buffy: But he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore because he has a soul now.

Giles: Unless the First triggers him again.

Robin: Triggers the chip?

Buffy: No, the trigger's a post-hypnotic thing. The First put it in his head. It was... made him… He was killing again.

Robin: So, he has a trigger, a soul, and a chip?

Giles: Not anymore!

Buffy: It was killing him, Giles!

Robin: The trigger?

Buffy: No, the chip. The trigger's not active anymore.

Robin: Because the military gave him a soul?

[Giles tries to think an adequate response. Buffy glares at Robin, who gestures in surrender.]

Robin: Uh... sorry.

Kennedy: So, Spike's trigger's been active this entire time?

Rona: How can Buffy take this for granted? I mean, he lives in our house, we train with him.

Anya: Don't waste your time down that road. Spike's got some sort of "Get Out of Jail Free" card that doesn't apply to the rest of us. I mean, he could slaughter a hundred frat boys, and... [everyone shoots a look at Anya] Forgiveness makes us human, blah-dee-blah-blah-blah.

Andrew: Willow, a call for you from L.A. Somebody named Fred. The guy sounds kind of effeminate.

Spike: So have I. [punches Faith] I reformed way before you did. [Faith punches Spike] Stop... [punches Faith] hitting... [punches Faith again] me! We're on the same side.

Faith: Please. You think I'm stupid?

Spike: Well, yeah. [grins]

Faith: You were attacking that girl. [punches Spike]

[Someone punches Faith in the face, knocking her down. Pan over to show it's Buffy.]

Buffy: [innocently] Sorry, Faith. I didn't realize that was you.

Faith: It's all right, B. Luckily, you still punch like you used to.

Buffy: You OK?

Spike: Yeah. Terrific.

Faith: [to Buffy] You're protecting vampires? Are you the bad slayer now? Am I the good slayer now?

Buffy: He's with me. He has a soul.

Faith: Oh, he's like Angel?

Spike: No!

Buffy: Sort of.

Spike: I am nothing like Angel.

Buffy: He fights on my side. Which is more than I can say for some of us.

Spike: Angel's dull as a table lamp! And we have very different coloring.

Faith: Yeah, well if he's so good, what's he doing chasing down defenseless—

[The young woman that Spike was chasing stands up, growls, and attacks Faith, knocking her down.]

Buffy: That's one of the bad guys.

Faith: You should make 'em wear a sign.

Caleb: "Drink of this, for it is my blood." You know, I always loved the story of the Last Supper. The body and blood of Christ becoming rich, red wine. I recall, as a boy, though, I couldn't help but think: what would happen if you were at the Last Supper, and you ordered the white? A nice oaky Chardonnay or White Zin. I mean, would he make that out of his lymph or some-all? Never did bring it up. Suppose there was a reason why I never spent too long in one parish. Just looking for answers. Just looking for the Lord in the wrong damn places. Then you showed me the light.

Faith: Every guy's got some whack fantasy. Scratch the surface of any granola-type dude - naughty nurses and horny cheerleaders... I figure, if you can't beat 'em—

Spike: Join 'em.

Faith: Just don't forget who's on top.

Spike: That, I suspect, would be you.

Xander: I've been through more battles with Buffy than you all can ever imagine. She's stopped everything that's ever come up against her. [Buffy and Faith walk in] She's laid down her life -— literally -— to protect the people around her. This girl has died two times, and she's still standing. You're scared? That's smart. You got questions? You should. But you doubt her motives, you think Buffy's all about the kill, then you take the little bus to battle... I've seen her heart, and this time, not literally. And I'm telling you, right now, she cares more about your lives than you will ever know. You gotta trust her. She's earned it.

Faith: Damn. I never knew you were that cool.

Buffy: Well, you always were a little slow.

Caleb: [to Faith] Well, you're the other one, aren't you. You're Cain to her Abel. No offense meant to Cain, of course.

Xander: Well, to go with the eyepatch, to really complete the look. I think I still have that costume from Halloween.

Willow: Yeah, and don't underestimate the impact of a peg leg. Maybe the hospital can hook you up with a nice one. Maybe they have a two-body-parts-for-the-price-of-one kind of deal.

Xander: Oh, you know what the best part is? No one will ever make me watch "Jaws 3-D" again.

Anya: Okay... I know you're all upset... and I, myself, would much rather be sitting at the bedside of my one-eyed ex-fiancé than killing time here with you people in this overcrowded and, might I add, increasingly ripe-smelling basement. And I would be, too, if not for a certain awkward discussion he and I recently had right over there on that cot immediately following some exciting and unexpected breakup sex.

[The Potentials on the cot awkwardly get off it. Andrew jots down "breakup sex" on the board.]

Giles: There's evidence that Caleb may have established a foothold up north.

Andrew: It's an onion... and it's a flower. I—I don't understand how such a thing is possible.

Spike: See, the genius of it is, you soak it in ice water for an hour so it holds its shape. Then you deep-fry it root-side up for about 5 minutes.

Andrew: Masterful.

Spike: Yeah. Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you.

Andrew: Right.

Anya: And it's automatically you. You really do think you're better than we are.

Buffy: No, I—

Anya: But we don't know. We don't know if you're actually better. I mean, you came into the world with certain advantages, sure. I mean, that's the legacy.

Buffy: I—

Anya: But you didn't earn it. You didn't work for it. You've never had anybody come up to you and say you deserve these things more than anyone else. They were just handed to you. So that doesn't make you better than us. It makes you luckier than us.

Buffy: Fine. I'm attainable. I'm a-- I'm an "attain-a-thon." May I please just go to sleep?

Spike: You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood... which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You... Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One, Buffy.

Buffy: I don't want to be the One.

Spike: I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.

Andrew: Hi, everybody. I missed you guys a lot. Sorry we took so long getting back from our mission... But we had to wait out the sun and, well, I think our mission went very well. We rode on Spike's hog, which was very cool, and played some amusing games and, oh, we got some information. But do you know what? I really need to urinate.

Caleb: Well, it does throw me just a tad. I mean, they're barely more than animals. Feedin' off each other's flesh, it's nauseatin'. But you, you're everywhere. You're in the hearts of little children. You're in the souls of the rich. You're the fire that makes people kill and hate. The fire that will cure the world of weakness. They're just sinners. You are sin.

The First (as Buffy): You're the only man strong enough to BE my vessel and I know you feel me, but... I know why they grab at each other. To feel. I want to feel. I want to wrap my hands around some innocent neck and feel it crack.

Faith: There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.

Buffy: Also, you went evil and were killing people.

Faith: Good point. Also a factor.

Buffy: But you're right. I mean, like... I guess everyone's alone, but... being a Slayer? There's a burden we can't share.

Faith: And no one else can feel it... Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.

Buffy: Takes the edge off.

Faith: [nods] Comforting.

Anya: And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die, which they-they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane... and yet here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do! They never... they never quit. So I guess I'll keep fighting too.

Ancient Woman: You pulled it out of the rock. I was one of those who put it in there.

Buffy: What is it?

Ancient Woman: [admires the scythe] A weapon. A scythe. Forged in secrecy for one like you who... I'm sorry. What's your name?

Buffy: Buffy.

Ancient Woman: No, really. [Buffy shrugs] We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who—

Buffy: Yeah. Met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em.

Ancient Woman: Ahh, yes, then you know. And they became the watchers. And the watchers watched the slayers. But we were watching them.

Buffy: Oh! So you're like... what are you?

Ancient Woman: Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.

Buffy: Hence, the Luxor Casino theme.

Ancient Woman: Forged there, it was put to use right here... to kill the last pure demon that walked upon the Earth. The rest were already driven under. And then there were men here, and then there were monks. And then there was a town, and now there was you. And the scythe remained hidden.

Buffy: I don't understand. How is it possible that we didn't know any of this?

Guardian: We hid, too. We had to, until now. We're the last surprise.

Guardian: One way or another, it can only mean an end is truly near.

Caleb: [grabs guardian's head from behind and snaps her neck] I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that last part, on account of her neck snapping and all. Did she say the end is near, or here?

Robin: Faith, [laughs] make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you.

Faith: What would be the surprise?

Robin: You... do know the meaning of the word, right?

Faith: Fine. Deal.

Robin: Good enough. [goes back to work]

Faith: No way you're prettier than me.

Robin: Little bit, yeah.

Buffy: So here's the part where you make a choice. What if you could have that power, now? In every generation, one Slayer is born, because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. [points to Willow] This woman... is more powerful than all of them combined. [Willow whimpers] So I say we change the rule. I say my power... should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the Scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer, will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power, can stand up, will stand up. Slayers... every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?