……once again God; thanks for everything.

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Monday 12th July

I don’t know if anybody noticed that I hadn’t been about lately but I haven’t. The reason being that I was offered a writing ‘gig’ that actually paid real ‘cash-money’.

Check me!

Unlike most normal women, I am incapable of multi-tasking (a fact that I could demonstrate if you were ever unlucky enough to be invited round mine for a Sunday roast) and therefore found myself unable to write for fun, since I was busy pretending to be a ‘serious’ writer.

Between and betwixt this, (I use words like ‘betwixt’ quite a lot now that I’m a ‘serious’ writer) I have been dating Handsome-Rob.

I think it would be fair to say that it is slowly dawning on Handsome-Rob how disturbing it really is to be manacled to me in the girlfriend department. So far I have dropped his walky-talky-thing into a sink full of washing up, told his superior officer that I only turn my sat-nav on so that I can successfully evade speed cameras and last week, whilst attempting to prove that I could punch just as hard as David Haye, gave HR a rather nasty bruise on his left cheek.

He truly is a lucky, lucky guy.

The Teenager has remained scum-bag-mate-free and Annabelle has dumped Club Penguin in favour of Moshi Monsters.

As a result, I now have about three and a half thousand Puffles for sale if anyone wants them, she is now ‘all about’ the Moshlings.

A small(ish) furry toy that is shaped like a head without legs. They come in lots of different colours and have a puff of hair on their heads. They sell them at Sainsburys. They are very annoying. They also cause your small daughter to ‘lose her flipping mind’ when you accidentally throw them over into next doors garden!