Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Holy Spirits

For a couple of years, I was a 4th grade teacher of religious ed. Classes would meet on Monday afternoons at 4:00 for one hour once a week.

It was Religion 101 for those of us who were raising our kids Catholic but sending them to public school.

The absolute worst time to try to teach a kid anything would have to be on a late Monday afternoon after a full weekend and seven hours of sitting at school. While I started out with the highest hopes, it soon became my goal that while these kids were in my care nobody got hurt, fell asleep, were bullied or bored out of their mind.

On a lesson about the presence of the Holy Spirit, I went over some of the gifts we receive from him/her, such as wisdom, understanding, knowledge. My little explanation went over like every other one - blankety blank stares. When I opened it up for a discussion..........and please kids don't ask me anything hard because I'm not exactly gifted in this area..........I got more blank stares.

Until one kid equated it to ghosts. Ghosts that lived in his house and that's when the whole class perked up and wanted to tell a story about their own encounters with the Spirit......holy or otherwise. It went on for awhile and ended when the kid with Asperger's explained the inner workings of your basic lawn mower motor.

You could say that I lost control, but within my own low achiever parameters it was a success and everybody left ready to share the gift of wisdom with their parents. As off the rails as they happened to be.

In the Spirit of some spirited nine year olds............

Always look in the closets and under your bed because they like dark places.

They're scary but their mouths don't work and they have no arms so they can't bite you or grab you.

Your parents can't see them but usually act like they can.

Jesus made the holy ones to send when you're fighting with your siblings.

And..............

For optimal engine performance while mulching your fall leaves, it is important to maintain recommended fluid levels at all times.