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You might not have heard of him, but Tony Gaskins is a modern-day motivational speaker who has been on several television shows and was quoted as saying, “Know who you are. Know what you want. Know what you deserve. And don’t settle for less.” That statement resonates with me because there was a time when I knew what I wanted but settled for less. That was before I found out how to stop getting overlooked in major meetings. I would make a comment or suggestion and get no response. Another person could make the same comment or suggestion, and voilà, all eyes and conversation were with them.

Has this treatment ever happened to you? Well, I got frustrated, so I took matters into my own hands and began analyzing each situation as it occurred. It took me some time, but what I discovered just blew me away. I told myself, "You deserve better; don’t settle." So I modified my behavior and my actions, and like magic, I started to get the attention I thought I deserved. I did further analysis and found that my place within the organization had changed. It had improved! I soon grew more confident and spoke with authority more frequently. In fact, I became known as "the expert," and just like EF Hutton, when I spoke, everyone in the room listened.

What I learned is not rocket science, yet as I continue to share how to speak with authority in my capacity as a business coach, my clients are still amazed. The modifications you have to make work all the time. The surprising thing is that to speak with authority, you have to look at where you sit, how you sit and what you say.

Where do you sit? Ever notice that people tend to sit in the same seats? Notice where the person in charge sits. Directly across from them or on either side are the power seats, and that is where you want to sit.

This means arriving early and claiming one of those power seats. You will find the individuals who would normally occupy one of those seats usually arrive just prior to the meeting start time. If asked to move, either give a clueless stare or point to the other open seats. Maintain your seat, whatever it takes. This is a very crucial move, and those in the know will be watching.

How do you sit? Watch the person in power or in charge. Observe how they sit: Do they cross their right leg over the left? Look to see who they maintain eye contact with; observe when they lean forward as if to make a point. These key moves are ones that you want to mimic — that is, you do the same thing they do when they do it. This mirroring effect helps to build rapport and discretely says, “We’re on the same side.” And don’t just mirror when in a meeting; do so when having hallway conversations and other activities. Just make sure you pick the right person to mirror!

Mirroring also can include mimicking how those in power dress. If they always wear a blue suit, so should you. What you wear can also include things like nail polish, shoe styles and so on.

What do you say? Those in charge love to hear their own words played back to them. So just as a ghostwriter learns how to write like their employer speaks, so should you make note of key phrases and terms. Play them back when making those comments and suggestions that you want credit for. Play them back when you want to improve your authority. Play them back, and watch all eyes look your way. Before you know it, others will be asking for your opinion on important decisions.

Don’t be compelled to always have an answer or always agree with those in charge, either. Below are examples of statements that you can use — spoken genuinely, of course:

• "You know, that is a great/excellent/wonderful suggestion that I hadn’t thought of. Let me think about it and get back with you — say, by ____ [day]."

• "Hmm. I am not sure that I can agree. Let’s look at the empirical data/I’d like to hear from ____ to see what he/she knows on the issue."

Sounds crazy, right? Well, I am here to tell you that these small tweaks helped launch my "organizational position" and those of my clients. We all became that EF Hutton in the room. Remember, don’t settle. Take charge of your destiny.