Spring fashion roundups from magazines like Glamour are supposed to present bold concepts. Can you imagine flipping through the volumes of ads if all that passed as editorial filler were tired old stories about preppie favorites? Or just another batch of celebrity wardrobe “don’t”s?

At the same time, you understand that you don’t need the makeover from Runway Hell. You just need inspiration. Ideas — as long as they translate to practical. Some of this year’s new duds might look silly on those Glamour models, but that’s just to help you gauge how to tone down the look to make a memorable, not idiotic, impression yourself.

Herewith, then, a rundown of Glamour’s most essential – and, the magazine stresses, wearable (‘cause they ain’t for covering throw pillows, at least not ‘til next year) – fashion trends for 2013:

1.

Bermuda Shorts

Described as “slouchy” and “cool-girl”, the baggy compromise between boxers and clam-diggers is apparently this year’s must-have alternative to “those cheek-baring cutoffs so beloved on Instagram”. Like many things in life, this is a matter of personal opinion.

2.

Black and White

Call it validation for ink-and-paper enthusiasts. Or just a smart way to save on fabric-dyeing costs. The classic ying-yang look, judging by Glamour’s photos, also apparently lets you mix and match patterns so incompatible they should be wallpapered onto the interior of prison cells housing America’s Most Wanted.

3.

Peekaboo Pieces

Ah, leave it to the fashion police to have tucked this one in at third place. Billed as the perfect solution for date night, these tastefully racy, flesh-revealing creations make the most of the power of suggestion. They’re also described as being an option for “every body shape”. Right. And every kid on the team gets a trophy, too.

4.

Statement Sunglasses

Did we not get enough of this in the new millennium’s first decade, with every variety of novelty eyewear items trying to capitalize on zeros? Apparently not, and maybe with good reason. The more gaudy the shades, it seems, the more the focus turns back to your wardrobe choices. (Hint: Avoid #’s 1 & 2 with this choice; think about #3; and, above all, keep it casual.)

5.

Bold Stripes

This one brings to mind those throwback sports uniforms that got mothballed shortly after being resurrected. Because they’re clearly not for every body type in every sport, literally and figuratively speaking. Glamour helpfully offers that stripes work for all seasons, and that you’ll be able to wear them for years to come. See reference to America’s Most Wanted, above.

6.

Luxe Leather

It’s 80 degrees outside, a slight breeze, sunny, not a cloud in the sky, and that guy you’ve wanted to get closer to while dining al fresco on the low wall outside the office tower has finally popped an invitation. For today. Aren’t you glad you wore your all-leather outfit? Kick save: If the dude grew up sleeping with his baseball or hockey glove on his pillow, he will be, too.

7.

Beautiful Beading

OK, texture always needs a place on these lists, and those that have a yen for it usually know what they like, so no smart comments on this one. After all, every woman ought to have a chance to dress up like royalty, even for just a day. Still, did Glamour really have to tell women to “push that itchy, too shiny sequined mini dress” to the rear of their closets, as they wouldn’t be needing it for “a while”? Maybe. Given how it’s depicted in the online photo spread, the beaded look could be a win-win-win.

8.

Shorts Suits

“If you buy one thing this spring,” Glamour advises, “make it a shorts suit.” Agreed. Do yourself a favor, though, and don’t make it a Bermuda shorts suit (see #1, above), unless you live there and are willing to wear the requisite knee socks.

9.

Sporty Dresses

For those souls who may have fallen victim to foul fortune and followed happy trails to the wilds of Leather Canyon (#6, above), despair not. The guy in creative knows to check out the scene prior to inviting you out for that delightful spring lunch. And if you’ve followed this trend – tastefully, of course – we guarantee you a promising future in designer bliss.