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Judge Me If You Must, But Check Your Imperfections At The Door First

We just moved over 1000 miles from home. So I have no sitters, there are no drop in daycare centers, DH works from pretty early in the AM til the evening, I have no family nearby to help me. My oldest DS is 12. He is amazing with his baby sister, very protective.

Last week we went to town (25 mile drive one way) to run errands. DD fell asleep (she is 2.5). I had one last errand to run that I couldn't just do the next day, or later in the afternoon, since the drive is so long. We are in temp housing til our house sells so it isn't exactly ideal. I had planned to go to Target. We needed laundry detergent, and some more laundry baskets. We were completely out, and the mountain was growing. DH was going to be working late.

My DD is a temper tantrum thrower, my boys (both much older than her) never threw tantrums. She ALWAYS throws tantrums in the store. It's inevitable. But to wake her and take her into a store? Well you may as well start world war 3. So I found the nearest Dollar Store. Pulled into a parking space at the very front, told DS to text me from his phone if need be, locked the doors, air on, windows up, emergency brake on, DS sitting in the front seat so it didn't look like an empty car just sitting there running. I ran inside, bee lined for the laundry aisle, got what I needed and got in line and waited. I could see my car and children clearly from where I was. All was good. Not even 5 minutes had passed.

Enter Crazy Lady... This very loud lady with her child (he appeared to be about 8) comes barreling in the store. She is screaming at the top of her lungs "OH MY GOD SOMEONE LEFT THEIR SMALL KIDS ALONE IN A CAR OUT THERE. WHOSE CAR IS THAT??????? THERE IS A BABY ALONE IN THAT CAR, THERE ARE CHILDREN LOCKED IN THAT HOT CAR" She continues, and it took me a minute to realize that she was talking about me, because 1) I have a 35" tall toddler, and a 12 year old. 2) The car was running and the air was on and 3) well I don't consider 12 being small.

I tried to assure her that my DS was nearly a teenager and quite capable of keeping his sleeping sister for a few moments and she just became louder and more irate. She called me a liar and a negligent mother.

Now... According to the American Red Cross. children as young as 11 can become certified babysitters. There is a program in the town we live in for "junior life guarders" and it starts at 11 yrs old. At church children the age of 12 can volunteer in the nursery.

I wasn't in Wal-Mart, Target or a bar. I wasn't goofing off. I was in and out in less than 10 minutes (which would have been less had she not caused the entire store to freak out and stop working for a few minutes.)

She ended up calling the cops, I told her to write down my tag number as I pulled out and they could come to my house and question me, but I wouldn't allow her to upset my kids. Since clearly she didn't care if she was upsetting her own child, why would she care if she upset mine?

I got to my car, DD was still snoozing, DS unlocked the door, crawled in the back, buckled up and not a word was mentioned. I gave him some cookies that I had snagged at the front for being such a responsible helper with his sister, and I never heard another word about it.

So.... Has your older DS or DD watched your youngers for you? Did this lady over react? Or am I truly negligent and just don't realze it?

I agree, my dd is 5 as well n helps out w her 2yr old brother a lot. but not old enough to leave them km the car alone, tho. but that lady did Over reacted.

Quoting Anonymous:

I've had my 5yr old keep an eye on his sister while I run to the bathroom or jump in the shower. Basically just to make sure she's not grabbing something she's not supposed to. He even fills up her cup sometimes (I have never asked him to do this). He likes helping like that. Though he isn't old enough to sit in the car alone with his sister, unless I'm pumping gas and right next to the car. I don't see a problem with what you did since you were just running in for a few minutes to get something. Why wake her and have her all cranky for 5-10 minutes in the store.

Lady was insane. I don't have a kid old enough to 'watch' the baby, but I see zero harm in what you did. And I can not tell you how jealous of you that you had the opportunity to pop in some place quickly without having to wrestle the baby out of the car seat.

I NEVER left my kids in the car....not even for a minute. Before pay-at-the-pump I would take everyone in to pay for gas then back to the car.....same with just running in to the post office -- everyone went. There were a few occasions when I would leave one of my teenagers in the car for a minute....but they were obviously teenagers and I NEVER left them in charge of younger siblings. A one minute trip inside a store can turn in to a very long time.....I have never been willing to take the risk of something happening to one of my kids just because I was afraid if them being cranky in a store.

Not a bad parent in my book. A twelve yr old is perfectly able to watch a child that age for a few minutes. I wouldn't have left them in there going in Walmart or anything unless you were only going in for a couple of things. My kids are all close together, but my 13 and 15 yr olds will stay in the car if I am running into the store for something and have been doing that since they were 11 and 13. My daughter usually just goes in with me because she doesn't want to be stuck with her brothers.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:35 PM

Cops never showed. I was worried they would come arrest me though, esp since we just moved here. I was worried the law was different here. And her insane version was much different than what the truth was.

Quoting Anonymous:

Hahaha Yes crazy bitch alert for sure. That is just CRAY! My DD was 11 when I left her and ds10 ds 6 and dd 5 in the car alone while I switched clothes at the laundry mat. I left it running and always have her to lock the door. It was not until last summer when I let her stay home alone and she a few days before her 13th b-day. Cops ever show up to your house?

by Anonymous 4
on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:35 PM

Quoting autodidact:

Yes I am aware the ac was on but there might be a complication and can malfunction...

OMG lady must've been peering in your windows to see a baby sleeping in th back and ds should've called not just text you. WTH she probably feels kids up to adult (18) need supervision lol I feel sorry for her son. I would've told her give me your information because if I hear from the police then I will file harrassment charges. What she did was rude and uncalled for.

I was watching kids younger than that. Watched my brother while mom went out at 12 and started full time babysitting at 14. Here you're allowed to leave kids in charge at 13. Some do sooner but if something happens you can be charged. When my nephew was 14 we left his two younger sibs with him. Niece was 12 and mature enough to babysit but he was old enough.

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