2. US Presidents are judged by their performance in the "First Hundred Days". Subsequent White House occupants should be judged against the same benchmark, which will now be called the "Tendulkar Test";

3. Minnesota, the Land of Ten Thousand (100X100, if you missed the point) Lakes, should change its name to Sachinesota;

4. New thermometers should have a "Tendulkar Point" to denote the boiling temperature of pure water at sea level;

5. "Tennis Elbow" will be called "Tendulkar's Elbow";

6. One of the Indian ordnance factories should be asked to develop a gun with whiskey glass attachment because that’s the only thing Sachin has not endorsed so far;

7. Postal department should issue a stamp in Tendulkar’s honour with Kambli’s photo on the other side which requires spitting.

Schumacher: I didn’t lie.. (Can’t believe what this fatso is blabbering !)

Mayawati: Everyone knows you are a driver and you are telling me you are a show-maker. Isn’t that lie?

Schumacher: Shoe-maker! My foot!

Mayawati: No, my foot. See, if you are a shoe-maker, I think I can offer you a job. You have to make pump shoes for my feet. I love my footwears you know. Once I sent my private jet to bring my favourite slippers from Mumbai and the mediawallahs made such an issue of it.

Schumacher: You are mistaken madam. I’m a driver called Schumacher. My name is Schumacher, Michael Schumacher.

Mayawati: Stop imitating Bond. So what if you are a driver? I need a driver as well. Will you work for me? I’ll pay you good salary and you get a servant’s quarter as well. And there are parks as well.

Schumacher: You mean perks?

Mayawati: No moron, I mean park. Have you seen my giant statues at the Noida Park? If you become my driver, I’ll install one of your statues as well.

Schumacher: But that’s for people of your party and community!

Mayawati: So what? I’ll change your name to shoe-maker and tell everyone that you are a actually a Dalit cobbler.

Schumacher: Good lord! You are incredible!

Mayawati: So you accepting the job?

Schumacher: Well, madam, it would have been a pleasure. But.. you see that lad? He’s Sebastian Vettel and is a much better driver. He was looking for a job anyway.

Mayawati: What he drives?

Schumacher: He drives a Red Bull.

Mayawati: Bull? You really mean bull? Oye, I’m the lord of Uttar Pradesh and you think I ride a bullock cart?

Schumacher: Madam it’s an F1 team called Red Bull and he’s better than me.