Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Chemo-12! THE FINALE!!

- 12 CHEMO'S DOWN.. ZERO TO GO!! ALF IL7AMDILLAAAAAAAAAAH :))))))- I DID IT !! WE DID IT!!- You know the drill, I'll surface back up again in couple of days..- Tried to sum it up in short.. It all started here:

"Happy birthday to me. I turned 29.And I just found out I have cancer." Kicked off back in May when I was told I have Stage 4 Cancer.. And that's when the journey started, 5 months of utter hell, pain, and struggle..

Had 10 and 20 year long friends stop asking about me because I'm sick! My supposed love of my life and soulmate ex, heard I have cancer and did NOT even send me a text msg saying salmat (probably he forgot the time I held his hands while he was scared to have blood tests done)!! Some other so called friends backed off gradually.

Withstood seeing the pain I'm causing my mother and her desperation of seeing her only daughters' life threatened with Cancer. Pain caused aunts and loved ones.

Withstood signing papers consenting to chemotherapy and acknowledging the damage it could cause me, terminal damage and fatality.. And took OFF my bra in Marks & Spencer's food hall !

What have you been up to in the last 5 months? I tell you one thing I went to hell and I came back.. I was tortured in every way possible, physically, mentally, and emotionally.. I've learned more in 5 months than I have learned in 29 years..

I learned that I am beyond strong esmillah 3alay, I learned I can go through anything and come out standing. I learned that when God loves you he tests you.

Dear God, my only wish and hope is I won't need more than 12 sessions and I will be cured with your will. If this is not what you want I fully accept it and willing to go through what you have destined for me. I feel young I want to do so much yet if you have other plans for me then so be it. Thank you God for my family, friends, and wonderful strangers who were there for me during this extremely rough time. Thank you for my cancer, thank you for my pain that taught me to be happy, thank you for letting me go through so much chemo and still come out of it alive and kicking. Alf ALF ALF il7amdillah 3ala n3mtik. Alf il7amd lik ya rabi alf il7amd :)

My results should come out end of November.. Till then I FourMe am eternally grateful to each person that left me a comment, email, tweet, or prayed for me in silence.. Thank you, you made a sick girl very happy during the roughest time in her life, much appreciated and God will reward you one way or the other for your generosity :*

I am 29 years old and I WILL beat Cancer with God's will before I'm 30 INSHALLAH!!

alf il 7mdilaaaaaa ;**** i prayed for you alot mabroook inshallah m5al9a chemo w inshallah ib 2ithn allaah tkuneen m5al9aa and to all the friends and soulmates ilee wa5iraw 3anich during the time u needed them the most tell them to stick their heads in the ground they should be ashamed 3aaiib oo 7araam at least u found out who ur true friends really are ... this is probably the best news ive heard <3!! Ill pray for you inshallah ur test results get back positive ya raab .. you are probably one of the strongest people ive met u r my role model I love you :**

i can't believe its been 5 months, walla china ams ily i was reading ur post about unbearable back pains oo b3adain all the possible diseases oo how some bloggers wouldnt accept it oo kept saying u might be mis-diagnosed,

I am happy and very proud of you, Got a courage to overcome the many thingsRemember that everything is from God placed in your best interestGod does not afflict a person from a vacuum, but tests of love, and God loves you

I am really happy and admires your courageThere are people healthy, but they do not have the thing that you have the courage

way to go.. ive been reading your blog n never wrote you a thing.. but today i cant not to wrote.. i must write.. you show strength.. you show attitude.. fuck being weak... you taught me how to be strong.. I AM strong because of Y O U!! Keep going! you need to be going! stay strong! Fuck Weakness!! Fuck being Weak.. and.. yes Happy Bday =p

I have been sick, but in a different, at the moment I have around 6 breast tumors which they are guessing to be benign, but now my bone doctor is doubtful as I suffer from bones and joints pain also. Indeed your attitude made me think differently, I am sure your family was there to support you, you wanted to see them smile at least. but u know when i got diagnosed with breast tumor at age 20 my family went saying "so what", I went and got admitted myself at the hospital for my surgery, and i was the only patient who did not have a family member with me before the surgery. LoL but Alhamdulillah I am surviving at the moment I have at least 6 tumors in both breasts, and I actually dont care anymore how its progressing.I pray humbly to ALLAh SWT to heal you, u at least spread positive vibes, u make people smile, u deserve to live ... *hugs* i luv u for the sake of ALLAH SWT alone, though I don't know u yet I have tears in my eyes for u.Hugs get well soon Dying2die

Assalamu Alaikum. Jus stumbled across ur blog now so hv only read your most recent post - Alhamdullilah, its so awesome 2 see u so positive:) may Allah grant u a complete and speedy recovery! Remember Allah only tests those that He loves =) maasalaam

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The Cancer Chant..I Will Rant

Cancer I did not give you the right,To invade my body and take a bite.This is my body and with all my might,I will prevail with one hell of a fight.To the cancer inside, I will battle and kill.For that is my body's God given will.To my cancer, these words I do send.Your life is short and near the end.