TTC: Month 25

It is officially month 25 of trying to conceive and we have some new things in motion! I finally received my packet of information and starter kit for the Creighton method. I opened that packet and there were stickers – my first thought was what in the world do I need stickers for? I am 23 years old and going to play with stickers? Then I take a look at the chart and code key for all of the things I am supposed to learn and record. Talk about super confusing information overload! Finally, I read the what I am calling the owner’s manual. All I can say is oh my goodness. Thank goodness I have a wonderful husband who also read through the owner’s manual and is helping me to learn this new process.

Participating in the Creighton method is something that was highly recommended by my doctor and he referred me to another doctor in the same clinic who specializes in this. I have done some research online and it seems to have great results. A very nice aspect of this to myself and my husband, is it is completely natural. There are no risks at all associated with this if we become pregnant while participating in this, fingers crossed! That has always been a very important factor in many of our decisions with this journey. With clomid (which my doctor suggested against at this time), there were risks of multiple births. That risks combined with some of my other health conditions caused us a great deal of concern. A pregnancy could go great with no complications or it could be complication riddled for both myself and a baby. With the Creighton method, the basic purpose of it is to focus on yourself and on your body’s natural responses at various times. Those responses can help to diagnose PCOS (something I have been diagnosed with), endometriosis, ovarian cysts, early menopause, cervical problems, blocked tubes, and so much more. I find that just amazing! Just listening to my body and what happens at various times through a cycle can unlock answers! We just received our starter kit in the mail last week and we immediately began reading through the manual. It was a little overwhelming at first, but we worked together and have begun breaking it down to fully understand what we are looking for and how to record our daily observances. Another reason that I am so far liking this option is because it includes my husband. He is to participate in the appointments with me (something he was already doing, but with this program it is encouraged)and in a way, it takes some of the stress off that “this is my fault.” By my husband working with me to solve these problems we are having, it helps me to not blame myself and I do not worry that he blames with me or is angry with me. I now realize that these obstacles are simply a path that God has given us to take. I do not know where the path will take us, but I know we are doing what we are supposed to be doing and we are being patient in waiting for whatever God has in store for us.

As far as how I have felt this past month, I feel good. I am letting God take more control when I am feeling the fear of possibly not being able to become pregnant. I am letting God lead me when I have the fear of what these next steps may lead to in the terms of diagnosis. I feel like I am even more at peace than I was a month ago and I am so extremely thankful for that peace. I am so thankful that I began to truly let go of my fears and rely more on God. It was not an easy thing to do. I am also thankful that I have a husband is supportive and patient. I am thankful that he is understanding of how I feel as we go through this and that he is there, every step of the way.These trials are strengthening our marriage. We are relying on each other more and in turn on God more.

Colossians 1: 9-11 says, “For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy.”

This verse means a lot to me right now. To me, this verse is telling me to pray continuously for myself and to ask for understanding. That was something that I did not do for too long. I did not pray for understanding and I did not understand. While I still do not understand exactly the plan that God has for me and my husband, I do feel more at peace with our infertility and I feel that He has something in store for us. I know pray for the child that we will be blessed with if this is God’s plan. This verse is telling me to please God with what I do and become more knowledgeable in him. This is something that I am trying to do more everyday for many reasons. One, because this is what God wants me to do. Two, learning more of God’s word is bringing me peace and more understanding. Three, I am finding more and more verses that can apply to my current situations and to situations that may come up in the future or even verses that came up in the past. Now, I feel that I won’t have so many feelings of uncertainty and anger when things do not go according to plan. Patience- patience is something that I have always struggled with. Waiting two years to grow mine and my husband’s family is something that has most definitely tested that patience. It took my almost the entire two years to grasp that patience, but I am very thankful that I slowed down, got in my Bible, prayed to God, and started to listen. For anyone whom is trying to conceive and has been overwhelmed, find your peace. For me, I found my peace in God. If you are also a believer and even if you aren’t, I have several of verses that I have found comfort in under the Photo Gallery section in a page labeled Inspirational Bible Verses for Infertility. Click here if you would like to view it.

2/23/2017- Be sure to check out the TTC Month 25 Update by going to Our Journey with Infertility/ TTC Month 25/ TTC Month 25- Update or by clicking here.