Consciously managing our process of forgiving ourselves and others is vital if we wish to release ourselves from our past relationship entanglements, negative feelings towards ourselves, limiting life interpretations and negative emotions. Many people have a difficult time forgiving themselves or others for perceived mistakes, actions, choices and interactions. This is in large part due to the extreme negative emotional charge associated with those events. Other reasons for not wanting to forgive are that we fear that if we forgive it will in some undefined way make us vulnerable to being hurt again. Therefore we tend to unnecessarily hold grudges and negative stances in relationships, sometimes for years, assuming that it will in some way benefit us to do so or in some way keep ourselves safe.

It is useful to have a specific method by which one can effectively release these negative emotions which hold us in the past and taint our perceptions of the now and the future, as well as our vision of ourselves and others. Below is a process which was originally taught to me by a very gifted healer. I have added further information which I have learned over the years. I have seen this method do a great deal of good in people’s lives, if it is practiced with discipline and focus. We will get out of the process what we put into it.

This process fosters forgiveness, clears lingering resentment, reduces stress, improves relationship management and reduces the intensity of negative emotional reactions to specific life or social situations. It also works on conscious and subconscious energies, as well as also affecting karmic energies in a positive way. In addition it is applicable to any daily negative emotional reaction we have to any situation or interpersonal interaction as a tactical stress management tool.
In order to get the most out of this process, it is useful to first make a list of the issues, situations, judgments, criticisms, complaints, feelings of anger and hatred, and other negative feelings and negative relationships we are dealing with. Then using the numbered process steps below, item by item, work through the list slowly and carefully. When you reach the end of the list of topics, start back at the beginning and re-read each item on the list. As you do so feel within yourself how you feel about each item now. Notice whether you feel less negative emotion associated with the item after you have worked on it for the first time.

Notice whether there are any negative feelings that may be left over in regard to the item and if some remain, re-apply the process steps listed below. If there are no emotional reactions or attachments to the item you are reading, check it off and move to the next item.

Note: This exercise should not be used by women who are currently pregnant, this pressure point can according to some Eastern traditions be utilized to induce labor.

Choose the item you from your list you want to work on and focus fully on the negative emotion associated with it as you go through this process

Lightly place the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth, just behind your front teeth.

Close your eyes to help you focus only on the negative emotions you are feeling

Apply pressure to the pressure point on the back of your left hand, located in the webbing between your thumb and index fingers, using only the tip of your right index finger.

Begin to take in a slow deep breath through your nose, and as you take in the breath say to yourself the following statement.

Then slowly exhale through your mouth (keep your tongue on the roof of your mouth during your exhalation).

When you have reached the end of your exhalation, release the pressure of your right finger tip on the back of your left hand and then immediately reapply it to the same point on the back of your left hand.

Repeat steps 5 through 8 listed above six times, meaning that for each topic on your list you want to perform a cycle of six breaths and you want to state your intention to forgive six times.

Apply this process to as many topics from your list as you feel comfortable with in a single sitting. As you go through the six breath cycles on each item you are likely to feel the energy of the release increase, breath by breath, this is normal and beneficial. When you feel you are at your limit for processing items in any one sitting (some people have a very long list of items) put your list away until the next day and then begin on the next topic. I suggest scheduling time each day specifically for this forgiveness work, if you have the time, so that you make consistent progress. Again you get out what you put into this process.