Our Patterns – Our Past – Do Not Define Us

Another “response” (e.g., Forgiveness Redux) to someone’s blog. This time it’s about recovering from anger, resentment, fears, and lifelong patterns resulting from those feelings. Patterns are not who we are. Emotions (high or low) are not who we are. These things can be healed. The energy we’ve spent on being who we are not can then be used to be the creative, beautiful, inspiring true selves we were always meant to be. Not spiritual monks or clones, but uniquely and exquisitely human and divine, just the way we are. Herewith the main part of my response to a blog about our inner obstacles to being at peace within:

“1st: When you look at your scars, touch or massage them gently and say it’s all over now, you’re safe, I love you. I am safe, I am loved. Feel your breath, slowly, in and out.2nd: When you have … upsetting thoughts, put your hand on your heart and breathe, and love your heart like it was a baby. You can go to the bathroom to do this if others are around.3rd: Each time you remember a…(stressful or anger-filled) incident or person, breathe in love, breathe out love.4th: Each time you feel any kind of tension or upset over anything at all, say to yourself “I must be needing some healing right now;” or “something must be coming up to be healed,” etc.

“You cannot forget about that (person or traumatic event)… I know this. But you can take back the power you’re giving them with your resentment and rage. Sometimes the anger we feel is partly toward ourselves for “putting up with” or not seeing in advance what the problem was, or guilt if others… were put in harm’s way. Guilt is a big trigger for anger, and we get angry at the person who caused the chain reaction. But it doesn’t help at all. Guilt needs to be healed, definitely.

“You did the best you could… Although you won’t ever completely forget, I don’t think that’s what (your therapist) means. It means the (painful) thought or memory… will lose its power to hurt you, or at least the hurt will only last a moment if you:1. Feel the feeling, ALLOW it as you continue breathing and feeling.2. At the same time or quickly thereafter, turn to self-healing thoughts.3. If needed, tell yourself it’s okay to release the feeling (anger, guilt, anxiety, etc.)