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Thursday, November 20, 2014

1 Year Absence

Wow... I didn't realize I haven't blog for a year long! 2014 marks a big change for the family as I embarked on a full time job early this year. It was hard to juggle between work and family. It's actually mission impossible to balance both. You either fail at both or you can only concentrate on one and let the other just float on.

The children can never recieve the same amount of care and attention with a working mum. I lost many precious moments and time with them while I'm out working and many times, I wonder if it's even worth it. Here are some very precious moments that we lost that I felt was very important.

The Morning Greetings
With my new work, I have to be up before dawn and I don't get to wake the children or see them when they get up in the morning. I felt quite unsettled for the first month. It was only much later that I got to know that the kids were very affected that they don't get to see me in the morning. When asked how he felt when he wakes up in the morning, Y answered his teacher, "My mummy is not there." My heart broke when his teacher shared this with me. I then made arrangements so that I can still go home to see the children before they go off for school. I'm lucky that the work place is just 5 mins away and I can make arrangements for someone to take over while I steal some time to go home. My husband also made arrangements to go to work later so he can have breakfast with the children before leaving for work. These arrangements take a lot of effort to make. But I think it's really important that we are with them. The morning sets the mood for the whole day. With the parents around to greet them and prepare them for the day ahead, the children will feel more secure to handle the day.

The Journey to and fro School
I missed the walk to school with them in the morning. There were mad mornings but the morning walks with them were very enjoyable as they get older. They could handle the walk with no complaints and they would talk so much about things they are going to school and what they have planned to do for the day. Sometimes they totally excluded me from their conversation but I get to know so much from them. I used to cycle together with them to school and their happy faces on their bike melt my heart.

After not sending them to school for a few months, I find myself so out of touch with the happenings in school. I think it's also quite important for us to send them to school. We get to see the teachers, meet the other parents so we will know what's going on in school.

Our Weekend Outings
I used to look forward to the weekends for our weekly outings. But since I've started work full time, I'm exhausted by the end of the week and I find it so hard to go to parks with them. For many months, we have joined the malls like many Singaporeans parents do. I finally understand how many city kids could hate the parks and would opt for a air conditioned mall anytime. It's too convenient and comfortable. Bye to sunscreens, wet shirts, sticky bodies, hi to air conditioning, toy stores, restaurant.

These are the things that matters to me and I'm glad that after settling into my new work, I managed to get them back on track. I try to send them to school these days and we try to have at least 1 outdoor outing each month. I was concentrating too much on my new work the first half of the year and now the work is more stable, my attention goes back to them. One thing I know is that I will still choose to be a stay home mum if I have to choose between one, our family's priority will still be them.