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Monday, June 20, 2011

The WINNERS! AKA, Rocks, Fluorescent Jewelry, and Fluff, Oh My!

First, thanks to everyone who participated in the week long TRUTH OR BIG FAT LIE contest. If was fun--and, okay, slightly appalling--to see what you thought of me.

Before I announce the winners, let me tell you the correct answer to each "fact." You know, just to build the suspense. Yup, I'm all about the foreplay, baby!

On Monday I said:

I once had to ride a cow because all the horses where I took horseback-riding lessons were taken by the kids who got there on time.

BIG FAT LIE. I have, in fact, never ridden a cow. The closest I've ever been to a cow was on my Great-Uncle Ed's farm when I seven, when a week-old calf sucked my fingers. It tickled.

There were no cows where I took riding lessons. Besides (as Karla Nellenbach correctly pointed out), me late to any kind of appointment? Ha! It is to laugh. Nevah! (Some might call this anal retentive. I prefer to think of it as just another one of my many charming quirks.)

On Wednesday I said:

I once spent a hot summer afternoon sitting in a giant beer cooler with two red-faced Irishmen.

TRUTH. As so many of suspected. Though probably not in the way you suspected.

See, John, our Irish friend who kindly drove TG and me all over his fair country when we were backpacking through Europe, paid us a visit one summer after we'd returned to the States. He brought an army buddy with him, and let's just say July in the DC metropolitan area was rather warmer than either of them were used to. Also, TG and I were newly settled in a house, and still recovering financially from our six-month sojourn overseas, so we couldn't afford extravagant entertaining.

What to do with two worn-out Irishmen, red-faced from the heat after sightseeing in downtown DC all day?

Why, fill up a large-ish kiddie pool with water, add multiple bags of ice, throw in a case of beer, and invite one and all to crawl in afterward! (Fully clothed, let me add, for those of you with prurient imaginations.) Kind of the opposite of a hot tub, and quite refreshing. TG grilled burgers, and a good time was had by all.

On Friday I said:

Once, while attending a reception at one of those giant wedding mills, I crashed the party in the hall next door, because they had better food and an open bar.

BIG FAT LIE. Not that I wasn't tempted, especially when they started doing the chicken dance at the wedding reception I was attending.

If you're not familiar with the chicken dance, this will give you an idea of what it is. Just imagine 200 people in wedding finery doing it at once:

But when I heard strains of the Macarena wafting over from the other reception, I knew there wasn't much to gain by defecting. Especially since the reception I was at did have an open bar. Come on! How else are you going to get 200 people to do the chicken dance?

If you're not familiar with the Macarena (geez, where have you been hiding?), you can go search for it on YouTube, because I just can't bring myself to subject you to it after the chicken dance. (Go ahead. Thank me.)

So, three of you got all three right. (Which is cool, because three is my favorite number!)

All three of you will get this FABULOUS ASSORTMENT OF (dumb) PRIZES!!!

Why, yes, those are pop rocks! Because you all rock. And glow-in-the-dark earrings! Because it gives me a warm glow that you know me so well. And, finally, Fluffy Stuff, because...well, because my contests are kind of fluffy. Life needs a little fluff, to help soften the rough edges.

If you'll email me your addresses (my addy is on the sidebar in the About Me section), I'll mail your prizes ASAP.

Once again, thanks to everyone who played along! Hope it was as fun for you as it was for me.

I now have the secret formula for making Monday's suck less in the morning: dancing to the macarena while I brush my teeth! Mwhahahaha ha ha...yeah nope. Not sleeping in is still bleh. But it's just fun to dance to that song.

Thanks again for having this fantastic guessing game! Honestly, I think the stories were more amusing then winning.

About Me

Author of the hilariously sexy Ciel Halligan urban fantasy series from Tor. If you need to reach me, you can try me at linda(dot)grimes(at)gmail(dot)com. I'll probably even respond. Unless you're a spammer, in which case just go do something rude to yourself.