Perhaps the second funniest thing I read. Mellick rarely does short fiction and although his books are often humorous, I wouldn’t usually put them in the humor category, but this fits the label. It begins with a levitating Walrus Master saying to a young man, “Blessings, my child. I shall answer you three questions. What wisdom do you wish me to bestow?” The young man responds, “What the fuck are you doing, dude?”

The narrator (or perhaps Scott McClanahan himself) goes to Walt Whitman’s old house. They don’t let him in, so instead he goes to the nearby Walt Whitman mall. They don’t have any Walt Whitman books in the mall’s bookstore. The Walt Whitman mall is near where I grew up, so I got a kick out of that.