It might be too hard a task to find such a creature, and Ozzy may well have to play his younger self himself, screeching "bloody hell!" at the top of his voice and asking mater "Do you think I meant country matters?" and quaint use of "pillock" …

I heard on Five Live this morning some pillock arguing that the show was not suited to a recession and that Alan Sugar ought to change his catchphrase from "You're fired" to something more suitable for our difficult times.