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Despite the unfortunate rise of the cougar phenomenon (not that dating younger men is unfortunate, just the use of the term cougar), it seems as a society, we're still more into May-December relations when the guy is the December. Or is it the May? I'm not sure I actually know what that expression is supposed to mean.

But what I'm trying to say is, more people still think that a romantic relationship is ideal when it's between an older man and a younger woman. Specifically, four years and four months older, which was the average "ideal" age gap as reported by a survey of 2,000 adults . While slightly less than half of people said there was no ideal age gap (good call, sensible people), 33% of women wanted a guy up to seven years older than them, while only one out of a hundred women preferred a younger man.

Not that I have anything against dating older guys, but here's some afternoon uggghhh: Financial stability was one of the biggest reasons women cited for preferring older dudes, since 55% of women said they couldn't afford rent or mortgages on their own. Thanks, wage gap !

Most of the guys I've dated have been my age to just a couple of years older, but sadly for poor old me (literally), none of them have provided any financial stability so I don't think I'd call that a motivation. I will say that while I don't have a rule against dating younger guys, I probably wouldn't consider it my ideal dating situation either. Stupid society and its conditioning that men look handsome and distinguished as they age while women don't. I do like a silver fox, though.

Age disparity in sexual relationships and sexual relationships between individuals of a significant difference in age have been documented for most of recorded history and have been regarded with a wide range of attitudes, from normalized acceptance to taboo . Concepts of these relationships and of the exact definition of a "significant" age disparity have developed over time and vary between societies, [1] legal systems (particularly with regards to the age of consent ), [2] and ethical systems . These views are rarely uniform even within cultures and are affected by views of consent , marriage , and gender roles , and by perceptions of social and economic differences between age groups.

Relationships with age disparity of all kinds have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger partner. In various cultures, older men and younger women often seek one another for sexual or marital relationships. [7] Older women sometimes date younger men as well, [8] and in both cases wealth and physical attractiveness are often relevant. Nevertheless, because men generally are interested in women in their twenties, adolescent boys are generally sexually interested in women somewhat older than themselves. [9]

In August 2010, Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff completed and released the results of a study on age disparity in dating. Dunn concluded that "Not once across all ages and countries ... did females show a preference for males significantly younger than male preferences for females" and that there was a "consistent cross-cultural preference by women for at least same-age or significantly older men". A 2003 AARP study reported that 34% of women over 39 years old were dating younger men. [16]

A 2011 study suggested that age disparity in marriage is positively correlated with decreased longevity, particularly for women, though married individuals still have longer lifespans than singles. [17]

Explanations for age disparity usually focus on either the rational choice model or the analysis of demographic trends in a society. [3] The rational choice model suggests that people look for partners who can provide for them in their life (bread-winners); as men traditionally earn more as they get older, women will therefore prefer older men. [3] This factor is diminishing as more women enter the labor force and the gender pay gap decreases. [3] The demographic trends are concerned with the gender ratio in the society, the marriage squeeze , and migration patterns. [3] Another explanation concerns cultural values: the higher the value placed in having children, the higher the age gap will be. [12]

In a Brown University study, it has been noted that the social structure of a country determines the age difference between spouses more than any other factor. [1] One of the concerns of relationships with age disparities in some cultures is a perceived difference between people of different age ranges. These differences may be sexual, financial or social in nature. Gender roles may complicate this even further. Socially, a society with a difference in wealth distribution between older and younger people may affect the dynamics of the relationship. [18]

Although the " cougar " theme, in which older women date much younger men, is often portrayed in the media as a widespread and established facet of modern Western culture, at least one academic study has found the concept to be a "myth". A British psychological study published in Evolution and Human Behavior in 2010 concluded that men and women, in general, continued to follow traditional gender roles when searching for mates. The study found that, as supported by other academic studies, most men preferred younger, physically attractive women, while most women, of any age, preferred successful, established men their age or older. The study found very few instances of older women pursuing much younger men and vice versa. [19]

The "never date anyone under half your age plus seven" rule is a rule of thumb sometimes used to prejudge whether an age difference is socially acceptable. [20] [21] [22] Although the origin of the rule is unclear, it is sometimes considered to have French origin. [20]

In a speech this week, Reese Witherspoon paid tribute to fellow actress Amy Schumer. Witherspoon said if a Schumer biopic is made she wants in. But there is one problem, Witherspoon, 39, told the audience at the Glamour Women of the Year awards: “Amy, I’m five years older than you, so I’ll probably have to play your grandmother in the movie, by Hollywood standards, and you’ll have to play your own mother.”

Witherspoon is the latest star to speak out about Hollywood’s age gap. This is a world where men can grow old and still get the girl in her twenties, while women disappear after 40 or, as Women in Film and TV’s chief executive Kate Kinninmont says: “If they are lucky be cast as the elderly lady or the witch”.

At the London Film Festival last month, the event’s director Clare Stewart said 2015 is “the year of the strong woman”. She celebrated a long overdue shift in the male-dominated movie industry, with films such as Suffragette and the Hunger Games not only starring intelligent, purposeful women but often written and directed by them too.

Yet, as Cate Blanchett, 46, acknowledged, “actress years are like dog years.” In 27-year-old Emma Stone’s most recent roles (Birdman, Aloha and Irrational Man) her male co-stars have been 53, 45 and 40. In real life, her last boyfriend Andrew Garfield is 32.

Meanwhile, Scarlett Johansson, 30, has never been paired romantically with a man younger than her, and in the past two years has been opposite two 47-year-olds. Bill Murray is her oldest co-star— 52 to her 18 in Lost in Translation.

The Hunger Games is the only film out at the moment where the female lead is older than her male co-star (Jennifer Lawrence and Liam Hemsworth are both 25, Josh Hutcherson is 23). Much has been made of “mature Bond girl” Monica Bellucci, 51, being cast in Spectre but she appears for all of 15 minutes and critics wonder whether seeing her telling Bond her husband’s secrets then looking sad in suspenders signifies progress. Daniel Craig’s main love interest is Lea Seydoux, 30 — Craig may be a well-preserved 47 but is he good enough for Seydoux to ignore the 17-year age gap?

“We are underusing the talent of women,” says Kinninmont. But people are starting to talk about it — not least because the film industry has realised that it might be losing them money, with chick flicks bringing in more revenue than bloke busters at the box office.

Witherspoon and Blanchett’s comments come after a particularly bad 2014. Films like Birdman, Foxcatcher and Whiplash barely registered on the Bechdel test — which asks whether a work of fiction features at least two women who talk to each other about something other than a man. In last year’s Oscars, only four of the nine films nominated for Best Picture passed the test — but even the ones that made the grade didn’t come out well. American Hustle, for example, squeezed through on the back of a single scene in which women discuss nail varnish.

Historically, unequal pairings are quite common, if not the rule. In Classical Greece , men would typically marry around the age of thirty, and would take wives in their mid-teens, around half their age. Men in positions of prestige or power have often taken young women as lovers or wives. Similarly, women of influence have also initiated relationships with younger men.

Age disparity in same-sex male relationships was even more historically common than age similarity in such relationships. (Such relationships were practised in Ancient Greece , pre-Modern Japan , Melanesia , Islamic lands and Renaissance Italy .)

Monarchs have traditionally exercised the freedom to choose younger spouses; Henry VIII , for instance, chose women far younger than himself as some of his wives, and a number of female monarchs have chosen younger consorts. Sultans from the Middle-East maintained entire harems of much younger women.

Other historical examples include John Rolfe and Pocahontas , and Laura Ingalls Wilder and Almanzo Wilder (both ten-year differences) in America; William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway (eight-year difference) in England; and Mohammed , the prophet of Islam , was 15 years younger than his first wife Khadija.

In keeping with modern American mores, a folk formula (sometimes referred to as the Trophy Rule) seems to have evolved so as to compute correct disparities of age between older and younger partners, this being "divide by two and add seven", that is, the younger partner in a relationship should be at least seven years older than half the older partner's age, else the relationship is liable to be subject to moral disapprobation.

The United States Census Bureau 's March 2000 statistics show that only 800,000 unmarried American couples are more than five years divergent in age, and 7 in 100 of women who have married more than once have a husband six or more years younger than they.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz were only seven years different in their ages but apparently believed that it was less socially acceptable for an older woman to marry a younger man, and hence split the difference in their ages and both claimed to have been born in 1914 .

Women generally begin to lose fertility as they enter their late twenties, and lose it completely after menopause , while men remain almost fully fertile until much later in life. Evolutionary psychology suggests that people are more likely to be attracted to people who look like they might be fertile. Certainly, anyone deliberately looking for a mate to breed with must pick someone of an age of likely fertility. Moreover, senior men, even during prehistoric times, often had access to relationships and resources which would allow for them to foster the growth of their offspring.

Robin Stanton supposes her appreciation for younger men was honed during the feminist revolution. Growing up in Ohio in the 1950s, she married her high school sweetheart at age 22. They had two children, but before long she realized her traditional marriage was killing her soul. To Stanton's dismay, her husband seemed threatened by her intelligence and high spirits, as well as her singing career.

"He would denigrate me by saying I might have had brain smarts but didn't have a lick of common sense," says Stanton. "He said I was so subject to flattery, anyone could buy me with a candy bar. I was a golf widow all weekend, every weekend. And whenever I had a performance, he refused to support me by even being there."

In a step that was unusual at the time, Stanton sought a divorce, then went to graduate school in journalism. She began as a general assignment arts writer and a rock and film critic, and soon became a daily television columnist. In later years she covered major political events and the lives of celebrities, interviewing more than 1,500 in 30 years, including favorites Gene Kelly, Cher, and writer and producer Paddy Chayefsky.

Covering the rock scene also put her in touch with young male musicians, and she wound up going out with several guitar players and a drummer. "Most of them weren't intimidated by my career or independence," says Stanton. "They kept me informed and hip, so that my writing stayed fresh and current. They taught me a lot about being comfortable with who I was."

Now a jewelry designer in Las Vegas, the 63-year-old Stanton recalls, "I swore I'd never stick with a man who hadn't grown up with the feminist revolution. I liked men who appreciated my talent and my brain," and didn't insist that she be skinny.

That was more than 30 years ago. Since then she has had several lengthy relationships -- including another marriage -- to men between seven and 17 years younger. Stanton recalls a relationship with one young man she still calls the love of her life. "I learned to cook with him, because he ate everything, even my mistakes, with great gusto and appreciation," she says. "He was tender and sweet and uproariously funny. Sometimes we'd sit in front of the fireplace singing country-western songs at the top of our voices. It was so corny and so much fun."

Stanton, who has recently settled into a relationship with a longtime friend 18 months her junior, found that men who had grown up with the women's movement tended to be less possessive. She didn't have to conform to a rigid idea of what a woman should be, she says, and her young boyfriends didn't treat her like a trophy or an acquisition. "They were much more comfortable with their own sexuality," she says. "And they seemed to love a smart woman who understood sports and classical music."

Stanton was apparently on the leading edge of what experts say is a new trend: older women dating younger men. Although older men dating younger women has long been socially acceptable (or at least commonplace in many cities), older women are now dating younger men in record numbers. It may be a trend on the upswing: Thanks to higher divorce rates and higher percentages of people who have never married, today 40 percent of the 97 million Americans 45 or older are single. Research on dating habits of these 40-plus singles is sparse, but according to an AARP survey of 3,500 older singles, 34 percent of women in the 40-to-69 age group date younger men. And 14 percent of women age 50 to 59 say they prefer dating men in their 40s or younger.

When I met my husband, I was 29 and he was 43. I had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy my age. My family and friends were taken aback when I introduced my new boyfriend, because 14 years seemed like a huge age difference. But it didn’t really feel that way at the time, and in the years we’ve been married, it’s felt like we’ve gotten closer and closer in age.

I’ve been reading a lot of articles about Hollywood’s May-December pairings lately. It started when Maggie Gyllenhaal was told that at 37, she was “too old” to play the love interest of a 55-year-old man . Then there were discussions about Scarlett Johansson’s 17-year age gap with Mark Ruffalo in The Avengers: Age of Ultron. Then came The Vulture’s piece, comparing the ages of three of the most bankable female leads with the ages of the actors they’ve been paired with.

And that has brought the inevitable backlash. I’ve seen lots of comments that go like this: “there’s a 10-year gap between my partner and I, and I’m offended by this complaint, because you are suggesting that age-gap relationships are disgusting.”

My husband and I are not the norm. According to the 2013 Census , only 4.8 percent of heterosexual married couples include a husband 10-15 years older than the wife, and one percent of include a wife 10-14 years older than the husband. Most heterosexual couples (about 53 percent) marry spouses within 1-3 years of each other. (Unsurprisingly, I was not able to find much data on the age disparity of same sex marriages, but a line in a Census report from 2009 seems to suggest that same sex couples do follow the same age disparity trends as heterosexual couples, with a typical couple having a one or two-year age disparity.)

Ironically, by making heterosexual older-male-to-younger-female-relationships the norm, Hollywood is actually making it more difficult for me to see couples that resemble my husband and myself. Why? Because, the couples we see on screen are often not presented as age-gap couples. Many of them are presented as The Everycouple. She just happens to look like she’s in her 20s, because that’s what every woman should look like, right?

It’s unfair to women, it’s unfair to actresses, and, to be honest, it doesn’t do any favors for people who are in age-gap relationships, either. As someone who is in a committed relationship with an older man, I would, just once, like to see a film that realistically portrays an age-gap relationship.

Here’s the thing about an actual age-gap relationship: there are certain issues that go along with them. I’m not talking about impotence, the go-to issue when films are actually made about age gaps. I’m talking about subtler issues, like culture. My husband came of age in the late ‘70s, so, for example, his sensibilities are much different from mine. When we have discussions about how to raise our son, I often find myself faced with a clash between Boomer and Gen X values. This extends to our relationship with technology: he’s a digital immigrant. He worries about how much information I put online in my career as a freelance writer. We are constantly discussing these things, making sure we are on the same page.

Then there’s the fact that my life is running 14 years behind his. He watches me deal with issues and insecurities he’s already dealt with, and I’m sure that can be frustrating. Meanwhile, I worry about his health, and we both worry about estate planning, because it’s likely that someday, sooner than I’d like, he’ll predecease me.

Dating younger women and older men is no longer considered unacceptable. In fact people look forward to younger women – older men dating site in order to find their ideal match. Over the years, there has been a significant rise in the number of younger women looking for older men . It has been said that women prefer dating older men to younger ones because they not only get to enjoy the company of an experienced partner but also financial stability.

A younger woman seeking older men is certainly not the latest trend in the dating industry. In fact, since the inception of online dating sites, the people have become more open to unconventional relationships and these no longer continue to be a taboo in the society. Indeed, the benefits offered by age gap relationships are innumerable, which is the primary reason behind the immense popularity of this niche dating segment.

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If you are looking for a dating site that brings together genuine younger women and older men from across the globe on a common platform, then YoungerWomenSeekingOlderMen.com is the best place to kick-start your journey. Given the strength of our membership base, finding your perfect partner wouldn’t be a problem. Apart from the impeccable and highly efficient search algorithms employed on our site, we also boast of top – notch features that make it feasible for members to interact with other users.

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Age difference in relationships is no longer important as long as two people find something in common. So let us help you find your perfect date and let not age become an issue. And also to help you start off, our website would provide you with some advice such as to older men on how to date younger women and to older women on how to date younger men. Right now it might seem like a challenge to you, but we'll guide you on what to do and what not to in your relationship.

As I explained a couple months ago, in Your Looks And Your Inbox the hottest girls are swamped with male attention. They get 4× the messages as the merely "average" and up to 25× as many as women at the lower end of the spectrum. Most importantly, their mean reply rate to any but the absolute hottest guys is a paltry 16% .

The above comment is typical. As it is, men between 22 and 30 —nearly two-thirds of the male dating pool—focus almost exclusively on women younger than themselves. I'll be investigating this phenomenon today, with gusto and charts. Ultimately, I'll argue that they would be well-served to expand their search upwards, to women in their thirties and forties.

Because it has been a successful way to introduce previous posts, I wanted to put real faces on this demographic before I delve into a bunch of numbers. Pictured below are some single users in their mid-thirties or early forties, taken from the first couple pages of my own local match search. Nothing I'll talk about today pertains necessarily to any one of them, but I wanted to put forward some people to go with the statistical discussion.

It's no secret that dating changes radically as you get older. As you can see below, the number of online daters peaks at 24, drops sharply at around 30, and then gradually tapers off, as the remaining singletons either find mates or withdraw themselves from contention:

The bar chart here shows how the woman to man ratio changes over time. As you can see, it's basically flat. In a better world, this would imply that older people don't necessarily have a harder time finding decent mates than younger ones, as the composition of the dating pool holds relatively steady from age to age. Put another way: a 45 year-old woman shouldn't in theory have a harder time finding a date than a 20 year-old, because the female-to-male ratios at those ages are equal (roughly 11:9).

As you can see, a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger women. Meanwhile his upper acceptable limit hovers only a token amount above his own age. a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger women The median 31 year-old guy, for example, sets his allowable match age range from 22 to 35—nine years younger, but only four years older, than himself. This skewed mindset worsens with age; the median 42 year-old will accept a woman up to fifteen years younger, but no more than three years older.

This next graph is what's called a heat map . It shows messaging concentrations by age; for each vertical age bracket, the greenest areas have the most messages, the reddest have the fewest, and the yellow have the average.

As you can see, men tend to focus on the youngest women in their already skewed preference pool, and, what's more, they spend a the median 30 year-old man spends as much time messaging teenage girls as he does women his own age significant amount of energy pursuing women even younger than their stated minimum . No matter what he's telling himself on his setting page, a 30 year-old man spends as much time messaging 18 and 19 year-olds as he does women his own age. On the other hand, women only a few years older are largely neglected.

According to the Allure Magazine’s National Anti-Aging Poll, lesbians are more attracted to women who are ten or more years older than they are. The study was conducted by polling 2,000 men and women about the state of aging in America and how their attitudes towards age impact their romantic lives. While it was not stated how many queer people were included in the surveyed population, the results showed LGBT respondents were more likely to be attracted to an older individual.

In speculating the causes for this trend, the lesbian blog sphere has been atwitter. Pictures of Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are flooding the Internet with captions ranging from “Fifteen year age gap and still the best couple ever” to “Who knew Ellen was 55?! #Foreveryoung.”

One strong opinion comes from a lesbian pop culture site Autostraddle.com blogger, riese, who posits in her article “Lesbians Love Older Women, Says Survey and Our Hearts” that the inclination could be tied to another statistic. The Allure poll also showed 73 percent of LGBT respondents think that “women have more pressure to look young now than they did 10 years ago,” highlighting that queers are less concerned with the societal stress on looking young.

Being the subculture that it is, homosexuality allows for a different set of prescribed norms that often deviate from widely accepted social norms. In the realm of lesbianism, there is emphasis on aging gracefully rather than trying to uphold an impossible standard of eternal youth. Allure’s poll reinforces this reality.

Another theory for the age disparity is that the dating pool for lesbians is relatively small rendering factors such as age less important. I myself, being a tangential member of the lesbian blogosphere, conducted an unofficial poll on this very subject. I took the number of lesbians I knew, multiplied that by the number of ex-girlfriends each mentioned, and then subtracted a solid twelve for probable overlap. Once the numbers had been crunched by my iPhone calculator’s research team, the yield was 32 lesbians that I am aware of at the University of Massachusetts, give or take a few. After all, this is an unofficial survey. Using this as an example of a high sample—this is the Happy Valley after all—I concluded that, yes, the lesbian dating pool is actually just a blow-up kiddie pool.

While the theories abound as to why ladies-who-love-ladies love ladies who are older, the fact remains that part of the beauty of being a member of a divergent subculture is that you are almost encouraged to abandon traditional ideals and structures. In this case, the structure being abandoned is the impossible standard of women needing look young to be considered beautiful by society. Aging gracefully is being able to look as close to 30 at all times because, according to Allure’s poll, men believed that “female beauty peaks at 29” and women believed that it peaked at 31.

According to my poll, now termed “Not Really National Anti-Factual Statistic Survey” by the “LezBeHonest Research Firm,” all 32 lesbians polled believe that female beauty peaks at 80 when one can comfortably sit in her pajamas in a rocking chair, sipping whiskey out of a tea cup and smoking a cigar. By “all 32 lesbians,” I really just mean myself, but it’s nice to think I have some company in my divergent subcultural belief that our golden years are whatever we make them.

Why is this op/ed piece here? Is the collegian not receiving enough submissions and desperate to post anything? Who cares about?! This is a non issue that might be relevant to .0001% of the LGBT community and even less to the general population.

This is a list of mainstream films featuring romances of significant age disparity, where the age difference between the two people is wide enough to risk social disapproval. In some of the films listed below, the age difference is a major part of the film plot.

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It is not unknown today that there are many provisions that come with older women dating younger men unlike the usual kind of companionship. While the bond is found to be stronger and both partners tend to induce into no-strings-attached fun in the former type, the latter is oh-so-boring! Imagine having to deal with all the complex relationship issues, fights, compromises as well as conditions that are mentally depressing – you wouldn't certainly want that. Most of you may have been there done that and woof…it can be really distressing. Now think of age gap dating, where there is the young man associated with an older matured elegant sexy lady. Does that make you drool over? It is really one relation you'd wish to be in for all the pluses that come along.

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That’s not entirely true. There have been some movies where the woman is older than her male love interest, but here’s where the double standard continues to come into play. Often in these cases the age difference is the overriding theme of the movie, and instead of a woman happening to be interested in a younger guy, she’s either a comical cougar, a criminal hooking up with a teenager , or a sad woman going through a phase or having an affair. Still, it’s never a bad thing to balance out inequality onscreen. Let’s look at 14 rare examples of this set-up, some of which approach the age difference in a more stereotypical way than others.

Age Difference: 11 years
This movie is also known as the one where Jennifer Aniston showed us she could be a dramatic actress but then decided to take her clothes off all the time instead . The heroine is a dissatisfied woman who embarks on an affair with her younger co-worker. Here we have the “unhappy woman cheating on her older husband” trope. Still, it’s always nice to see a film buck tradition and examine a woman’s psyche.

Age Difference: 6 years
This one’s a classic. What’s most surprising, however, is that these two were only 6 years apart when Hoffman’s character was supposed to be young enough to be Bancroft’s son. Still, the fact that the characters are clearly far apart in age, even if the actors aren’t, is important. Mrs. Robinson was the original cougar, to the point where we now use her name as a euphemism.

Age Difference: 27 years
This movie is about a teenage boy who gets caught up in a love triangle with two older women. The other woman is played by Bebe Neuwirth , who is 18 years Stanford’s senior. Here, of course the romances are big no-nos.

Age Difference: 33 years
In this movie, a dissatisfied grandmother embarks on an affair with her daughter’s lover. Clearly the age difference is a huge part of this film’s concept, but props to the filmmakers for depicting it with actors whose age difference is actually as vast as the characters’, unlike in The Graduate .

Age difference: 23 years
Michelle Pfeiffer’s not one to shy away from a role like this, since here the age difference is even bigger. In this period piece set in 1900s Paris, the female character even becomes something of a sugar mama to the hero. Well, we don’t see that onscreen very often, you have to admit.

Age Difference: 10 years
Here Steenburgen’s character is — you guessed it — a dissatisfied housewife cheating on her husband. We don’t get a whole lot of insight into her life, since she’s only a minor character. She mostly serves to give Depp’s character more complexity.

Age Difference: 10 years
Here’s another illegal romance, in which Blanchett plays a teacher having an affair with a teenage student. The interesting thing about this movie, however, is that the big conflict actually occurs between Blanchett and Judi Dench’s character, who knows about the affair.

Older men often search out younger women because they are, in many cases, more vibrant, spontaneous and full of life. This energy can have a spill-over effect on older men as well, making them feel younger. Also, younger women generally come with less baggage like ex-boyfriends and husbands, children, etc. than older women. If you are not up for any of this baggage, then a younger woman would be perfect for you.However, dating a younger woman can be perceived as mid-life crisis and your friends or colleagues may frown upon you; but if this is not true in your case then you should not worry about what others say.

Younger men want to be with older women as they make them feel comfortable. Young women have less experience and are less stable than older women who typically are more mature. On the other hand, older women are looking for younger men because they are more open, more understanding and if the woman is in a better financial place then it can also give her a more dominant role in the relationship. This is mainly why many young men today are looking more for cougars as they offer them the financial stability. Also, dating a cougar would also mean more life experiences to learn from.

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