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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Moore, Gore, and Sorcery Curse Sarah's Opening Weekend

Posted by
Gen. JC Christian, Patriot

Our Lady of the Wolf Slaughter should thank the Lord for her $5000/screen opening weekend. Sure, it's only 5.5% of what Al Gore made per screen on the weekend "An Inconvenient Truth" opened. And its a mere 8.3% of what Michael Moore's "Capitalism: A Love Story" made per screen its first weekend, But still, it's almost half the per screen dollars Moore's "Sicko" earned at its debut, and that's a win. It could have been much worse.

Sister Sarah's film, "Undefeated," encountered a problem none of the films made by Moore or Gore faced. Demons bewitched weekend theater goers, compelling them to see that vile orgy of wickedness, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2."

Certainly, many a loyal servant of the House of Sarah approached the ticket booth intending purchase "Undeafeated" tickets, but were stopped short when they came upon the life-sized cardboard cutouts of the Potterian half-giant, Hagrid. Bewitched by the satanic powers of his massive crotchal bulge, their minds slithered into a state of befuddlement--a befuddlement even greater than that they regularly experience in their day-to-day lives--and they entered the theater clutching passes for the Deathly Hallows.