This is the fifth episode in a journal chronicling my silent journey during Silent Awakenings.

When a Tree Falls at Asilomar – Last night about 10pm there was a gigantic crashing noise and the Stuck-Up Inn shook something fierce. I had no clue what it was, but all seemed OK. I was already in bed, so I just ignore it. Frankly, I thought maybe someone slammed the door outside my room really, really hard. Nope. A giant tree fell. Luckily it fell just to the right of the building, although one branch broke through the ceiling and the window of the corner room opposite mine. The gentleman in that room was asleep and had just completed his yoga nidra, so he was very calm about it.

My Roomie – When the inchworm moved out due to its untimely demise, I got a new roommate. Let’s call her Dracula or Miss Quito. She’s been pretty considerate so far, whispering sweet little buzzings gently in my ear every night and only feeding on me once per night. So far, she had given me just one small bite per night, but last night she went on a feeding frenzy. She bit me on my nose, my head, neck and both hands. Maybe it is presumptuous to think that she was eating alone. Perhaps she had a party. Regardless, I was itching all night instead of sleeping.

Meditation in Darkness – Sunrise meditation was lovely but super cold. I am surprised how much I enjoy being outside and sitting still before dawn. All I need is a snugly blanket and, it seems, my essential oil bug spray.

Yoga – We had our last yoga session this morning. It has been nice to practice yoga very differently from what I normally do. My body has been so sore from the 1910-era bed that it felt wonderful to move it mindfully and slowly, stretching it back into its natural shape.

Meditation 2.0 – My lack of sleep started to affect me. Head bobb. Head bobb. Head bobb. Then a big bang, and another bang, and another bang. It turns out that a seagull was playing with an upper window that was open. It was yet another lesson in anything can happen during meditation. Just witness it and move on.

Not So LittleNap – My girlfriends were going to head out on a beach walk, but I felt I needed a little nap. My body felt otherwise, and I fell hard asleep for three hours. A few of us have mentioned that we didn’t realize silence would be so exhausting. Our schedule has been pretty packed, and, in my case, the Lilliputian bed prevents restful sleep, if allowing any at all. We are encouraged to listen to our bodies and take care of ourselves so I am OK with that.

Deepak in the Daytime – Our schedule was a bit different today as Deepak had to catch a flight, so we did our session with him in the morning. Questions continued about awakening, so Deepak went deeper.

According to Deepak, an awakening is a shift in identity from a provisional (individual/ego/bodymind) to an absolute identity (The Silent Witness). This is a flexible process and evolving activity. World appearance is related to the ego/bodymind. Thoughts from the ego/bodymind are what cause distress. To relieve our stress, all we need to do it shift from identifying with the thought to witnessing it instead. The Silent Witness experience is lightness of being, the same as awakening.

Every being navigates experience through feeling, not thinking. Thinking is the interpretation of feelings. Our thinking is conditioned by our parents, community, culture, etc. Conditioning is both useful and problematic. The highest level of thinking is self-reflection and gratitude.

Our conditioning says that we always need to be doing something. Just being is OK. Man, this is something I need to take to heart!

The way things move from unmanifest to manifest is with subtle intentions:

Para – We have intentions, but we aren’t aware of them (like a heart beating)

Pashyanti – We are very faintly aware of our intentions (like falling asleep)

Madhyama – We are totally aware of our intentions as they come to the surface

Vaikhari – We manifest our intentions with speech and action

Traditional thinking is that we have to do, do, do, do, do things in order to manifest intentions, but if we start at #1, being The Silent Witness, the intentions will manifest naturally. When Deepak was talking about this, all if could think of was the level of freedom this offers and “There is freedom within. There is freedom without” popped into my head. You know what I’m talking about…the Crowded House song “Don’t Dream Its Over.”

There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There’s a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you’ll never see the end of the road
While you’re traveling with me

Hey now, hey now
Don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know that they won’t win

Now I’m towing my car, there’s a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion
But there’s no proof
In the paper today tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the Tv page

Hey now, hey now
Don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now
When the world come in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know that they won’t win

Now I’m walking again to the beat of the drum
And I’m counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and release

Hey now, hey now
Don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now
When the world come in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know that they won’t win
Don’t let them win (hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now)
Hey now, hey now
Don’t let them win (they come, they come)
Don’t let them win (hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now)

Songwriter: Neil Finn

“Any time we feel, as a result of a thought, a word, an action, a touch, an idea, that our unity is more profound than our diversity, that is an expression of love.” David Simon

Awakening to Love – The unconditional love of our being allows us to unconditionally love everything else. Our core is love. Self-love is all important. You’ll be accepted much more by others when you accept yourself.

“The spiritual meaning of love is measured by what it can do. Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew.” Deepak Chopra

About the AuthorRochelle Barcellona is an animal-loving, family-and-friends-embracing, yoga-nidra-meditation-and-ayurveda-teaching, happy red-headed yogi who owns Nourish Mind Body & Spirit in Northern California. You may learn more about Rochelle here. Rochelle may be reached directly at rochelle@nourishperfecthealth.com and 916-353-5200.