In a scene, we find a British officer’s guests awaiting his presence outside his room. “
Nahin ho raha hain, Manga,” we hear the British officer cry in agony. “Jhuk Jaao,” responds the other voice in the room, followed by a thumping sound that results in a relieving groan. The men outside the room look visibly flushed and one of them whispers to the other, “
Angreezon ke baare mein suna tha, aaj sunbhi liya.” If you find this grade of humour below par, the rest of the film is packed with limp one-liners and flaccid humour.

Attempting a fictional strike from history can be risky. It would have to be meticulously-assembled like
Lagaan or a visual spectacle that distracts one from the lack of proceedings like
Rangoonto even be watchable.
Firangiis neither.

Set in 1921, when India was under the British Raj,
Firangi is the tale of a man called Mangatram or Manga (Kapil Sharma) who has a special talent — curing backaches by kicking one’s behind. It is this ability that lands him a job — of being British officer Mark Daniels’ (Edward Sonnenblick) Man
Friday. While Manga goes from village buffoon to becoming gainfully employed, that his job implies kissing the ring doesn’t sit well with some, including his prospective in-laws.

When a bad gora hatches an entrepreneurial plan which inadvertently requires relocating a village, Manga must save the day and redeem himself. A plan, as tedious as enduring the 2 hours and 40 minutes of this film’s runtime, is put into action. How this folds up is anyone’s guess but what transpires through the film will ensure you perspire from every orifice in your body.

Firangi is a film where a man spells his heart out by embroidering a peacock on a blanket, a lady is fascinated when introduced to a bar of soap and a sardarji headbutts a white female only because she was flirting with him. And just when you’re assured that it’s all going to end when a trigger is pulled, the Father of the Nation surfaces and the Angreez are forced to retreat. Heck, the gora even warns the Raja from resorting to violence, by saying, “Don’t be foolish, that’s Gandhi.”

TV’s most wanted and revered comic, Kapil Sharma can barely construct a single gag worthy of evoking a smile in this film. The scenes that will haunt you the most have his character courting his onscreen SO with expressions somewhere between coy and cloy. Those who feel that the comedian’s previous big screen debacle
Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon was his worst, clearly haven’t seen
Firangi yet. Ishita Dutta, who made her debut as Ajay Devgn’s onscreen daughter in
Drishyam (2015), sneakily tries to make her debut again (the opening credits include an “introducing” before her name). Dutta’s role here is even less significant than that of the studio audience in Kapil Sharma’s TV show and in the few lines that she does have, she’s hardly inspiring. Kumud Mishra laces his aristocratic and whimsical Raja Indraveer Singh with just enough idiosyncrasies to soften the edges around his nefarious character. Film and TV veteran Anjan Srivastav attempts to extend some dignity to the film by packing in a powerful performance but just when you’re about to pay attention, his character is brushed aside. While director Rajiev Dhingra can’t be blamed for the spelling of his first name, he can’t shirk the blame for the pointless proceedings here. Also credited for story and screenplay, Dhingra composes a few compelling frames but fails to engage, let alone entertain.

There are films that seem bearable when you go in with zero expectations and there are those that disappoint even when you’re prepared to have your brains grilled. No prize for guessing which category this one falls in.

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