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Friday, October 5, 2012

Going it alone

Photo courtesy of Taylor LarsonCommunity. Human beings can't live without it, although we try. Modern technology has made us think that we can survive by just logging in, Stumbling Upon, Reddit-ing it and hitting the share button. The facts are, it isn't enough. We may think because we have thousands of Twitter followers that we are connected, but unless you are out there in the analog time-space, you are no more than a blip on the radar. Momentary. Invisible.

I have joked about the life of a trainer's wife here. And it can be hilariously frustrating. This life can also be horribly isolating and lonely. I spend many days listening to nothing but the sound of my own voice singing off tune and the ticking of the clock. (And people wonder why I talk to myself?)

When I just can't take it any more, and the grunts of my teenagers aren't cutting it, I have to make myself pick up the phone to hear the voice of another human being. I have to put on real pants and walk out the door to visit a friend. (Jammie pants are not acceptable outer wear, no matter what my daughter's friends may say...)

The same is true for my relationship with God. I was never designed to go it alone. I was never expected to be handed the set of commandments and follow each to the letter, never faltering and always obedient. Those rules were given to show me just how much I need my Heavenly Father. They are not a standard to bear but proof that it is impossible for me to live sinlessly.

Christ covers for me when I fail. When I am weak and hateful, sinful and heartless, He steps up and reminds me that this life is not about me. He taps me on the shoulder when I curse and shakes his head. He pokes me in the ribs when I am tempted to say that spiteful remark. He slaps the back of my head when I covet someone else's relationship. Christ reminds me that for His love, I would be lost and owned by the most evil of taskmasters - my own pride.

When I realize just how far I have fallen, when I am covered in the mire of the pig-pen, I bow my head and beg His forgiveness. The best part? He doesn't hesitate - He just gives it. That's how He rolls. Like a little child I am welcomed back into the fold, hugged til I have no breath left in my lungs and shown the way to walk once more. There is community with Christ.

Follow Him when the way looks dark and uncertain. Follow Him when you are tempted to make your own way. Follow Him when life calls you unworthy. He is waiting to lead you on the path, hand in hand, divinely directed.