Malley said: “Perhaps he was asleep himself, then sat bolt upright and said ‘Christ, I’ve not see Tom for ages’, like it was a massive emergency. Or maybe he’s just a dickhead with no sense of consideration.

“Either way, I’m really looking forward to feeling knackered at work all day today.”

Julian Cook said: “I thought Steve would probably have his phone on ’sleep mode’ at night, or at least that’s what I told him when he had a go at me. To be honest, I didn’t think about anything except wanting a pint.

“That’s because I am a feckless lazy bastard who often wakes people up for no good reason.”