Back in the saddle

How would you best classify this hookup? Itstarted as a one night stand but we have hooked up 2 more times and probably will again.

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Good looking African American man. We met at a bar near a Texas university that night.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had unplanned consensual sex in the cab of his truck after a hot night of dancing and drinking. He instigated it, but I was more than willing.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After dropping off my female companions at the hotel, he parked his truck in the hotel parking lot and he began to massage my breasts, pinching and squeezing my nipples and then sucking on them. I don’t know how he knew to do this, but this always gets me going and it’s not something my husband of nearly 17 years can do.

I fondled his penis through his pants while we continued to kiss. He then moved his hand into my jeans, and discovering how wet I was, he began to stimulate my clitoris. Clitoral orgasms have always been easier for me than vaginal ones. He pulled his penis out of his pants, and seeing how big it was I knew I’d have sex with him. Kissing became rough and I began to bite him, which didn’t seem to bother him. I continued to move my hand up and down his penis and then he twice asked if he could put it in me. I said yes both times. I asked him if he was clean, and he said yes before I pulled my pants down part way and he entered me. It felt so good, and because he was so big and the angle in the truck his penis hit my g spot. We both came.

It ended with him dropping me back to the hotel lobby and then texting the next morning to make sure I made it home ok. It felt good to have sex with someone again after a dry spell from moving across country and losing my fuck buddies. The next morning I had alternating feelings, being conversely ashamed (I am a middle age married mother of 3) and proud of myself (yeah baby I still got it!) at the same time. After talking to him more the following week, and learning more about him, we’ve had 2 more hook ups since and will probably continue to. He’s a really nice guy and the sex is good.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? See above

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Sterilization, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? no one yet

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It has led to more sex

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? My husband and I have an open relationship but I have not yet told him.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with casual sex as long as all are consenting and no one gets hurt. I wish society was more accepting and that it wasn’t such a dirty little secret. I mean it’s just sex after all. It feels good.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I’m all in favor of it