You Do You Boo – my ongoing journey to being less of a judge-y biarch.

I’d lived my life from this nice little high perch and as I sailed into motherhood I knew exactly the kind of mum I was going to be – exactly the kind of mum that was the “right” way to be.

Except that holy shitballs did the mamahood journey completely spin me around, slap me silly and 100% hang me out to dry – along with all of my annoying, awful righteousness.

And thank f&cking GOD!

{Left: About 5 days into motherhood being soooo sanctimonious... Right: About 15 months in and with the full realisation that i will do ANYTHING to get through the day}

Being brought to your knees in a weeping, clueless heap is a pretty poetic lesson for someone who always thought they were the bomb-diggity and who would instantly write people off for the smallest difference in opinion, life choice, outfit choice, method of chopping salsa ingredients.

But from this puddle of my former self I was finally able see the light – we are all on our own freakin’ journey, just doing our own freakin’ thing, trying things out, testing the waters, doing our best.

Of course, I thought from that moment I’d totally cracked the judgmental biarch out of me.

The idea for Eskimo Nell, a t-shirt brand that was about ZERO judgement, no BS and women big upping other women instead of tearing them down, had been planted!

And oh how I thought I had my shit sorted – I was cured!! I actually found the no judgement life to be incredibly liberating. Ahhh I could finally just live my own life and not give a flying about what other people were doing!

All the things I fully judged other women for that I totally now do

Eating all the treats and all the carbs “for the baby” (i have literally spent thousands of dollars on cheese scones and petrol to find all the cheese scones in the city)

Putting their child in front of some incredibly annoying/flashy/dinotrucks tv programme just to get 5 minutes peace (I love you Peppa Pig so much, but seriously you have saved my sanity too many times to count)

Wearing makeup in the day time and actually wanting to look nice sometimes - being a hobo at heart I was always super judgey of women who put heaps of time and effort into their appearance (let’s be honest – I was just jealous that they could be bothered and I really couldn’t)

Talking about their child ALL THE TIME (they’re just so amazing and cute and I am really just saying things out loud to remind myself why it’s actually a good idea to procreate)

Oversharing on Instagram stories (it’s like having another grown up to talk to who actually cares about all the really lame little things I do all day - you guys care right?? Hahaha)

Totally ignoring their child when they’re being psychos in public and pretending they don’t belong to you (ummmm who dat??!)

But oh no no no. The judgey little cretin that had so burrowed its way into my psyche is a real stage-5 clinger. She’s always there. Honestly, she ain’t getting the message – so I’ve still gotta be vigilant ah hell. Which is where having Eskimo Nell is bloody handy. It keeps me honest. Whenever I feel myself slipping back into the judge-y ways, I check myself and give myself a kick up the ass.

It’s soooo easy, almost comforting to judge others – it makes us feel better about ourselves and being a mum is SO confronting on a personal level. Self-doubt is at an all-time high – so what better way to manifest some to some tiny thread of self-worth than slag off some other poor soul who’s giving something else a go.

All of the things I’ve judged other mums for coz it ain’t what I do that I’m really embarrassed to admit and now realise is NONE OF MY BUSINESS

Having all the drugs during birth

Buying all the designer baby clothes

Not breast-feeding

Going out lots (*jealous much haha)

Not co-sleeping and for that matter….

Sleep training (not that I didn’t give it a go *hypocrite much)

Giving their baby a dummy (totally trying it with the next baby!)

Going back to full-time work when they have a super young baby (ummm you gotta do what you gotta do)

Getting all up in the pre-baby-body exercise routine (I mean it would be pretty bloody nice)

And that’s where the idea for our You Do You design came from. Ash and I just found ourselves chatting more and more about learning to LIVE & LET LIVE! Yeah we 100% still talked about other women and what the fark they’re up to – but we started to always round up with “Wellll hellll - You Do Yoy Boo, You Do You” – and you know what, it’s a bloody game changer. For me it is actually been the secret to opening up my eyes and being able to see the Queen in every woman, to see them as real humans and to recognise that we are all SISTERS with more in common than we’d ever know!

Wow, this has actually been incredibly cathartic. Coming clean haha but wow also really embarrassing to realise what an absolute biarch I have been in my life. What a waste of time & energy!

So all you babes! Here’s to a future where the ZERO JUDGEMENT/ZERO F*CKS life reigns supreme!

XX Marnie

Our YOU DO YOU design will be available for Pre-Sale next Thursday, October 26th!!

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1 Response

Sam anderson

October 22, 2017

This is so wicked, I love how straight up you both are with us. I am always so judgey to and I’m trying to change that I have a 8 year old girl and I don’t want her growing up judging everyone, you know. Love your work babes. Xx