>be me>At girl's house, chilling eating pizza and playing vidya>Afterward cuddling and watching a movie >Remember pizza had chilli peppers on it >Chilli peppers fuck me up>Getting really, really gassy but have to tactically suppress it >this continues for the next few hours>stomach is doing backflips>intestines are being blitzkreiged >she leaves to use the bathroom but I know if I fart I could shit myself>It's finally time to go home>cycled there because motorcycle is fucked >say goodbye and go down the street, turning the corner>it's 1AM so the place is empty, let out a fucking huge fart because I couldn't hold it anymore>thisisit.jpg>feel a torrent of warm liquid shit shoot down my legs, soaking me completely>the smell is unholy, akin to satan's dick cheese>need to keep cycling, saddle is covered in shit >enter the main road, leaving a spattered trail of shit the harder I pedal>cars near me, lights shining on me so I know they can see the shit>continue like this for 20 minutes >get home, shit is all over the hall and my fucking house smells terrible