Guilty Pleasure: Stupid Ass Mark Wahlberg

Marky Mark Wahlberg is a dumb bitch. We’ve identified the problem, now let’s get to the part where I tell you that I have fapped to his old Calvin Klein Underwear ads. Ugh, his personality is probably why Kate Moss does all that coke now. He scarred her ass for life with his herp derp. Unfortunately, I still find him fuckable.

Does this pinhead do it for you, too? He’s still sorta sexy and stuff with his big dumb but hot face and ripped body (you’ve seen The Fighter, you know what I mean).

The only movie I’ve ever seen him actually pull off any acting in was Boogie Nights, and the prosthetic cock still had more talent than him. Blame my venomous fingers this morning on reading how his fool ass told Men’s Journal the following:

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘Okay, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

After Wahlberg was done shitting on people who died in 9/11 and basically referring to them as cowards, he dragged his stupid-ass knuckles over to People and (slightly) apologized.

This is beyond my Tebowconundrum. I am a shallow, shallow individual who is led by my eyes and my cock (and my anus, but we’ll leave that alone for now). It’s not like he committed genocide or anything, but he’s obviously a delusional cunt with his head up his ass. He thinks his movies are real.

The point is – everytime we think Mark Wahlberg is hot, we should just punch ourselves in the face.

– J. Harvey

For more pics of stupid Marky Mark, Follow the JUMP:

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The point is – everytime we think Mark Wahlberg is hot, we should just punch ourselves in the face. Then you post all those sexy pics? Sheesh you want a lot of
guys walking around with busted up faces today!

http://twitter.com/FabulousThomasJ Tom Kidd

Amen, brother. I dropped his ass a couple of years ago when I found out he was offered one of the leads in Brokeback Mountain and he had to consult his priest over it because it made him feel yucky. WTF!?!?!

Anonymous

Whatever, but I would still fuck his ass till the skin on my dick needed a graft, and suck his cock till my tongue fell out. Dam, stop being such bitches

zzz

why are you even commenting on this when the other cover story is “the lords of muscle beach–the sex-crazed, drug-fueled early days of bodybuilding”? seems a lot more interesting. with pics, please.

Gg

What’s wrong with someone not being comfortable outside their own sexuality? There are TONS of gay men, who when someone mentions any female parts gasp or go all YUCKY! So he has beliefs… is it such a crime to believe that someone who was raised very roman catholic while being VERY supportive of equal rights, could not want to play a gay role because he had hesitations.

Priapic Pete

I love how he says “the plane would not have went down like it did.”

I guess you don’t need to know how to speak English when you’re pulling in a million a minute.

ManhattanAtHeart

Well said. Loving not judging

MaldenCub

he’s really short in person.
just saying.

Jockfever

Hope this comment doesn’t jump ahead of Manhattan because he beat me to it. Gg, you’re on to something. The gay fascists who judge every person, organization, and institution based on how enthusiastically they bend over for anything gay, have become like the problem they’re trying to solve.

Cortez

I guess when your hot/attractive you can get away with such things.

ttuboy313

seriously? so now straight people can’t get grossed out at the idea of rough butt sex between two men where spit is the only lube involved? what the hell ever. there have been plenty of mental images in my head of straight people that made me feel yucky as well. i am all for being able to walk down the street and not get murdered or beat for being gay but i do not think it matters if people think what i do sexually is yucky. god i probably think they are yucky just standing there.

Guy

lol ‘herp derp’

Guy

just another reason why i love this blog <3

nick

I find him attractive at times, but then it is quickly ruined when he opens his mouth.
His career would be best served if he never did another interview again… EVER

Tom in STL

Twenty years ago I thought he was hot. Now I would much rather get with his brother Donnie.

JeremyS

Aside from the last phone calls made by passengers to their loved ones, we have little idea what the atmosphere was on board the flights (mostly chaos, I imagine). We like to think that we would be capable of taking action, so I can’t take offense at his comments. My question is: why weren’t there undercover air marshals on these flights?

muscle dad

LET’S CLEAR THE AIR……..

MARKY MARK WAS DROPPED BY CALVIN KLINE WHEN HE TRASHED GAYS IN HIS CONCERT AND ALL THE GAYS MAILED BACK, USED/UNUSED/WORN CALVIN KLEINS TO THE COMPANY AND SAID NO MORE IF THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE WAS THE SPOKESMEN…….

MIRACLE OF MIRACLES… WHO SLIPPS RIGHT INTO THE AD CAMPAIGN????????

MMMMMM YUMMY HOTTIE ANTONIO SABATO……

CASE CLOSED MARK IS A FUCKING DOUCHE….

NOW DONNY…WELL THAT IS ANOTHER STORY

Neal

MW, you offended me as a human, an American, a New Yorker and a gay man. You’re a man-child and a twat.

david

does Mark Wahlberg support equal rights for gays? I’ve never even heard him discuss this topic.

Anyways, he was hot in the 90s but his face is busted these days. He’s a butterface.

http://www.MaleEroticEvolution.com Michael!

He was so delicious back in the Calvin days…also a bit of a dickhead back then too with all the queer bashing stuff he was spouting. I’m glad to see that he has grown up and is still very sexy.

JD

You three just missed the whole point of this article. While I agree that we should judge based on the sexuality thing, the fact that he made dumb ass comments surround people of 911 is the real issue and why he is a dumb ass. Or did you guys forget that when you decided to jump on your soap box and make this into something other than the actual topic?

RobertK

I’d choose Donnie over Mark any day! Love him on Blue Bloods!!

Carniassada

He also says in the Mens Journal interview he doesn’t masturbate or go down on women, not his thing, well well what is his thing…being full of it. He also said he had a chance to be in NKOTB but turned it down cause their music sucked, and we all know how great his music was, lol

poonlarp

You’re an idiot. There were no undercover air marshals on flights before 9/11 .

roseplan

Yes, let’s clear the air.

First, STOP SHOUTING!

Second, is it “Kline” or “Klein”? Pick one and stick to it. (HINT: It’s not “Kline.”)