The Jays lit up Lackey fourthwith then held off the Sawx yesterday, which enabled Hondo to slash the accounts payable to 1,410 sanfords.

Tonight, Mr. Aitch expects Justin Zoolander to pose problems for the Angels — 10 units on Detroit. Also, Cain seems able, so another units 10 units will be invested on the Giants.

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Roger Clemens’ perjury trial starts tomorrow and is expected to last 4-6 weeks. That’s going to be a long ordeal for the Rocket, one that calls for plenty of B12 shots — just like when he was pitching . . . According to a Harvard University study, kids are two percent more likely to vote Republican as adults if they attended a Fourth of July parade before they turned 18. According to a Hondo study, many, many more are influenced to turn right by watching the nightly parade of drivel-spewing southpaws such as Matthews, Maddow, O’Donnell and Uberdork, aka Gasbag Olbermann.