105: Romantic Comedy for Men. A Self Help Book.

There comes a time in every mans’ life where he must do something he does not want to do. Standing in line at the cinemas the day the Sex and the City movie was released is one of those times. Yet boyfriends make up over a quarter of chick flick audiences. But as any female would know, it’s an issue dragging him along. So I decided to compile a little list of things that made the whole thing easier from my 3 and a bit years experience of having to accompany Jess to the occasional romantic comedy.

Hugh Grant = good and Matthew McConaughey = bad.Hugh Grant is actually pretty funny. And a lot less physically emasculating than Matthew McConaughey. Whereas anything Matthew McConaughey says is just an excuse to take his shirt off. Not exactly what I look forward to in a movie.

Always play classical music when you go to sleep. Just trust me, it was the best thing my parents ever did. It will classically condition you to fall asleep whenever you hear orchestral music. Which just happens to be the music of choice for the final climatic soppy love scene. Thanks to this, I’m usually asleep at this point. That way you’re awake for the racier parts of the film, and snoozing for the soppy bits.

If you’re really scraping for brownie points with the missus, rent Love Actually. For one it’s a lot more bearable than any American chick flick, for the most part because of it’s humour. Also it’s got Hugh Grant, and no Matthew McConaughey, which reinforces point 1.

As Jerry Seinfeld once observed, men will sit through anything, no matter how mundane, if there is even the slightest chance of seeing breasts (e.g. Rochelle Rochelle). So advice here, steer clear of PG romantic comedies.

Learn to bargain. I’ll see Confessions of a Shopaholic with you, if you see Tron with me. At least you get something out of it, even if it means you have to pay to take her to the movies a second time.

The Philip-Eclipse rule. While not specific to romantic comedies, it definitely applies. If you at attending a movie targeted at women (e.g. romantic comedies) with friends, then the ratio of males to females must not exceed 1:1. Otherwise it just looks creepy at the ticket counter. As the rule name suggests, I was almost denied being able to see Eclipse by Philip because of this rule.