Because my husband intends to become involved in a local election, and because he is well known, I asked last night if he wasn't concerned that the woman, to whom he sent the picture of his private parts, might not recognize him in the media and 'out him'.

I said that I didn't know where she is located, but that I was concerned about that. (They were emailing - (sexting? or just bashing me?) and she asked for a pic of his penis. He sent one, and she responded, "no thanks" or 'not interested'. Something like that.) This happened 7 years ago.

He told me last night that the pic never went through. I told him that it did, and reminded him of her response. He said he can't remember what she was 'not interested' in, but that he KNEW the pic did not go through.

Then, he says that it is no problem - because she was from _____.

So, he doesn't remember what she was not interested in, but he does remember where she was from???

I asked him, if it was true that the pic didn't go through, why would he let me believe all these years that it did. No answer.

I don't know if the pic went through and he is trying to keep me from being worried about him being outed if she sees coverage of this election he is involved with --- or, if it didn't go through, and he let me believe that it did all these years.

Last night I asked him why he told me that it was sent. He said that when we were talking about all of this, I wasn't believing anything he said, so he just agreed with what I was accusing him of. (Can't imagine why I wasn't believing him!)

Anyway, I guess it doesn't matter, really. There was a pic of him naked with a prostitute - that's a fact - and he did at least attempt to send it to this woman - for whatever reason.

But it surely does make me wonder - as I always have - what the real story is.

After we spoke about these things last night, he said, "I'm sorry". I told him that I didn't believe him. That someone that is really sorry tries to make things right.

His response - no answer.

I also asked if he planned to keep these 'secrets' between him and 'them' - secrets that I am not privy to. No answer.

Don't know why I am posting this. I guess, its because I know you all will understand the frustration of once again finding out that you don't have an idea in hell what really happened.

I know the feeling well too! I probably won't ever have the full story. Seeing as I'm filing for separation, and very likely divorce down the road, I guess it doesn't matter anymore. So why do I still agonize over it?????

Me-BS 43
Him-WH 45
Married 8, together 9

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2804 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ

still2suspicious♀ 31722Member # 31722

Posted: 11:21 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013

My H has given me vey few parts of the story, even after MC.

Lots of IDK, IDR. So unless he has a revelation I know I will never get the whole story.

And that is another reason I am getting my ducks in a row!!!

Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1349 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:

EvenKeel♀ 24210Member # 24210

Posted: 12:19 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013

and she asked for a pic of his penis. He sent one, and she responded, "no thanks" or 'not interested'.

This doesn't pass the sniff test and he is doing the 'no answer' because he knows it.

Sorry

Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.

Posts: 2421 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa

sportsfan♂ 9918Member # 9918

Posted: 12:30 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013

Sorry that you're dealing with this, WR. I'm sure you're concerned about reliving all of this should these pics resurface (Weiner, et al come to mind). If the shit hits the fan I suppose you'll get all of the truth, albeit backhandedly.

I hope it all goes well and you can continue to move forward ...

Posts: 2029 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: PA

ButterflyGirl♀ 38377Member # 38377

Posted: 12:46 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013

Sounds to me like you're being gaslighted.

Perhaps he thinks "deny, IDK, IDR" is the best approach in the election world, but its not in a marriage. Secrets demolish all the trust..

xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven

Posts: 2805 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida

Nature_Girl♀ 32554Member # 32554

Posted: 12:58 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013

He has in showing me that his secrets are more important than our marriage.

I think it went through and he's just wanting to avoid thinking that it may be a problem. I also don't know the whole story of my ws, I know him, he will never ever tell me.
I hope you can find peace in this sich, I'm sorry it reared its ugly head again.

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5347 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest

heartache101♀ 26465Member # 26465

Posted: 1:34 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013

Cheaters lie and lie some more. I truly believe they know know other life.

Then the ones that want to change to a better person are the ones that tell the truth.

I am sorry.

There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

I have had those same conversations with my WS and then the no response when I am confused because he has now flipped flopped on his answers. Been There!

I can understand your concern that this person my surface if your WS is in the media. You state that it is a local election, so hopefully that will be not as known. But does she live anywhere in your state? Hopefully far far away.

He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!

Love kills slowly.

Posts: 1661 | Registered: Jun 2008

WhatsRight♀ 35417Member # 35417

Posted: 11:10 AM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013

He is not actually the candidate - he will be supporting the candidate. Since my husband is well known, I am nervous that she will see his face in print or on news and decide to ruin our lives.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt