Thursday, December 23, 2010

A Visit from St. Nick

'Twas the night before Christmas, and alone in the roomThe writer sat facing a deadline of doom.Note cards were hung by the PC with careIn hopes for a sentence or even a pair.

The household was nestled, all snug in their bedsbut the writer paced onward with crime in her headAnd try as she might, no keys could she tapTo write her way out of a vicious plot trap.

When out on the roof there arose such a sound--Like old fashioned type keys that pound-pound-pound-pound!Away to the window she flew like a tweet,Remembering how typewriters used to sound sweet.

The moon on the pavement was noir, black and whiteWhile rain dripped down windows, no snowmen in sightAnd just as she turned, her hopes again dashed,Came a strong whiff of bourbon and another loud crash.

A wizened old elf, on the roof top he satDrinking Old Taylor whiskey and wearing a hat.His fingers curled over a giant machine,While he typed on the keys and cursed loud in between:

"Now Chandler, now Hammett!Now McDonald, now Cain!On Parker, on Woolrich, On Mickey Spillane!"

"To the end of the page!To the end of the book!Forget about writing for Kindles and Nooks!"

His fingers flew over the keys like a train, And the paper caught fire despite all the rain.A curse and a shout and he looked up to seeThe writer's face--frightened--and he chortled with glee.

Then, in a heartbeat, she heard from on highThe banging and pounding of keys from the sky!Like thunder they sounded, the claps and the drumsAnd down the poor chimney came the wizened old bum.

He was dressed in a trench coat from head to his feet,With a stogie clamped firmly between yellowed teeth.His voice--how like Bogart's! His nose--like Durante!And he gave out a wink and said, "Call me Santy."

Not as chubby as Greenstreet or pop-eyed like Lorre,His fingers were gnarled and his gray hair was hoary,But his fedora gleamed gold and his eyes twinkled too,And the manuscript under his arm looked brand new.

All in all, he looked a noir-jolly old elf,and the writer smiled at him in spite of herself.A wink of his eye at the cookies and cream, he pulled out a bottle--this time old Jim Beam.

He drank down the whiskey and went straight to his work,Sitting down in the chair with his stogie and smirk.His fingers flew faster than coursers that night,Filled with noir magic and pulp writers' might.

Then laying a hand on the swell of his girth,He burped up the whiskey, and cackled with mirth.And placing a finger on broken-veined nose,He doffed off his hat and up the chimney he rose.

He sprang on the typewriter, old bottle in handAnd rose from the roof in a manner quite grand.But she heard him shout out, as he soared almost gone,

"Keep writing your books! Crime fiction lives on!"

And so it will!! :)To all a very Merry Christmas, and many thanks for sharing your year with us at Criminal Minds!

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Mondays with Susan

Susan C. Shea spent more than two decades as a non-profit executive before beginning her best-selling Dani O’Rourke mystery series featuring a professional fundraiser for a fictional museum. She lives in Marin County, CA.

Mondays with Meredith

Meredith Cole won the St. Martin’s/Malice Domestic Best First Traditional Mystery competition for POSED FOR MURDER, and was nominated for an Agatha award. Her second book, DEAD IN THE WATER, came out in 2010.

Tuesdays with Robin

Robin Spano is the author of the fun and edgy Clare Vengel undercover cop series. Robin grew up in Toronto, studied physics in New Brunswick, dropped out to travel North America on her motorcycle, and now lives (and writes) in Lions Bay, BC.

Tuesdays with R.J.

R.J. Harlick is the author of the acclaimed Meg Harris mystery series set in the wilds of Quebec. Her love for Canada’s untamed wilds is the inspiration for her series. The 4th book, Arctic Blue Death, was a finalist for the Arthur Ellis Award for Best Novel.

Wednesdays with Clare

Clare O'Donohue is the author of the Someday Quilts and the Kate Conway Mysteries, as well as two e-novellas. She also works as a TV producer, specializing in true crime shows.

Wednesdays with Tracy

Tracy Kiely is the author of MURDER AT LONGBOURN, MURDER ON THE BRIDE'S SIDE, MURDER MOST PERSUASIVE, and MURDER MOST AUSTEN from St. Martin's Minotaur.

Thursdays with Catriona

Catriona McPherson is the Anthony, Agatha, Macavity, IndieFab and Lefty winning author of the DANDY GILVER series set in Scotland in the 1920s, as well as two darker stand-alones AS SHE LEFT IT and THE DAY SHE DIED. Catriona lives in northern California with a black cat and a scientist.

Thursdays with Alan

Alan Orloff's latest book is RUNNING FROM THE PAST (Kindle Press). His first book, DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD, was nominated for an Agatha Award. He lives in Northern VA.

Fridays with Paul

Paul D. Marks pulled a gun on the LAPD...and lived to tell about. A former "script doctor," Paul's novel WHITE HEAT is a 2013 SHAMUS AWARD WINNER. Publishers Weekly calls WHITE HEAT a "taut crime yarn." Paul is also the author of over thirty published short stories in a variety of genres, including several award winners.

Fridays with Art

Art Taylor is a short story writer whose work has won two Agatha Awards, the Macavity Award, and three consecutive Derringer Awards. His debut book, ON THE ROAD WITH DEL AND LOUISE: A NOVEL IN STORIES, will be published in September 2015 by Henery Press.