Never said I was staying! I was so shocked and speechless I just hung up the phone. I'm numb right now. I don't feel Anger or sadness or anything. ...

Update: so I talked to him finally and we shot the breeze for a few and I was like oh. Remember the other day I offered to clean up your email and you said you'd appreciate that.. Well, did you forget to cancel your match subscription? He said no, he got it this morning. He said he wasn't sure if we would work out and if we didn't than he was trying to find someone who took care of him better. But we're still together, he hasn't cheated and he still loves me and he still wants to be with me. I was so shocked and numb that I was actually speechless. Who does that???

I was helping my df go through his emails one day a week or so ago trying to find a confirmation number for something and told him I was gonna clean up his inbox for him. (He has over 4000 unread messages) I asked if he would get upset and he said no he's actually really appreciate it.

So I pulled it up today thinking I would get rid of some obvious junk mail and clean it up some and he had an email from match. ( we met on match so it didn't really surprise me). He had a bunch of dating websites but the emails were never opened so I figured it was just stuff that keeps getting sent out. This one though in the subject line said his profile was approved and dated early this morning.

I had a sinking feeling so I checked his online banking and sure enough he reactivated his account this morning. :(

Replies

Yeah that makes sense. I was just thinking all the issues he had been having with his accounts. He had a charge Friday in Hong Kong and we were like umm??? Lol. So he got that card cancelled, went to the bank the next day and picked up a temp card til his new one arrived and the day after he got his temp card the bank cancelled it for no reason. So I was thinking with all the cards he's been through just this weekend alone.. Lol. His bank is weird though.

Quoting WritingSpider:

Quoting Anonymous:

I want to be Sunshine Suzie as well.

Quoting WritingSpider:

On a glimmer of hope, if he had an account before and someone was able to get his password it could be hacking. Internet stuff is unpredictable. And it's odd to think that he would say sure go ahead and look through my email when he knows he reactivated something . . . you always get confirmations for purchases, though I'm not familiar with dating sites at all. I have never bought anything and not gotten an email confirmation.

He could have logged on to view your old messages and not knew it would charge him?

Maybe I'm just Susan Sunshine . . . but I would say talk to him before you call off the wedding.

I have had my credit card charged for stuff I never did. I have even had my new card charged without remembering adding it to my account. Though I have never done any kind of dating site stuff at all, I am happily married, if you were on MATCH before, there are a bevy of things that could have happened even though they are rare. I had someone steal my info many times and I have been charged for things in other states when me and my whole family were at home.

If you have closed an account somewhere in general, like say Facebook or Snapfish, you can't see your old information without reactivating your account. Could be he's bringing up the old info if it's one of your old sites as the wedding nears and maybe he's doing something with your conversations with each other.

If he didn't say you could go through the email then I would say more red flags but I really don't think anyone would be that silly. Just take a deep breath. You just never know what kind of crazy thing could have happened. I honestly would talk to him about it. Maybe note if he's got cold feet, you just want to know what happened on the site and you'd like to see his profile. But I would first go with the maybe something weird happened and speak to him. He seems pretty open to let you go through his email. This is our policy. We have each others password to everything. We don't go through each others stuff much unless we need to find something like a bill but that way if we ever do feel scared we have total freedom to do so.

Yeah that makes sense. I was just thinking all the issues he had been having with his accounts. He had a charge Friday in Hong Kong and we were like umm??? Lol. So he got that card cancelled, went to the bank the next day and picked up a temp card til his new one arrived and the day after he got his temp card the bank cancelled it for no reason. So I was thinking with all the cards he's been through just this weekend alone.. Lol. His bank is weird though.

Quoting WritingSpider:

Quoting Anonymous:

I want to be Sunshine Suzie as well.

Quoting WritingSpider:

On a glimmer of hope, if he had an account before and someone was able to get his password it could be hacking. Internet stuff is unpredictable. And it's odd to think that he would say sure go ahead and look through my email when he knows he reactivated something . . . you always get confirmations for purchases, though I'm not familiar with dating sites at all. I have never bought anything and not gotten an email confirmation.

He could have logged on to view your old messages and not knew it would charge him?

Maybe I'm just Susan Sunshine . . . but I would say talk to him before you call off the wedding.

I have had my credit card charged for stuff I never did. I have even had my new card charged without remembering adding it to my account. Though I have never done any kind of dating site stuff at all, I am happily married, if you were on MATCH before, there are a bevy of things that could have happened even though they are rare. I had someone steal my info many times and I have been charged for things in other states when me and my whole family were at home.

If you have closed an account somewhere in general, like say Facebook or Snapfish, you can't see your old information without reactivating your account. Could be he's bringing up the old info if it's one of your old sites as the wedding nears and maybe he's doing something with your conversations with each other.

If he didn't say you could go through the email then I would say more red flags but I really don't think anyone would be that silly. Just take a deep breath. You just never know what kind of crazy thing could have happened. I honestly would talk to him about it. Maybe note if he's got cold feet, you just want to know what happened on the site and you'd like to see his profile. But I would first go with the maybe something weird happened and speak to him. He seems pretty open to let you go through his email. This is our policy. We have each others password to everything. We don't go through each others stuff much unless we need to find something like a bill but that way if we ever do feel scared we have total freedom to do so.

Just take a deep breathe, sweet girl. It will be ok. God is in control and He will work all this out. Will be a memory in a few weeks.

Well I love you too! Lol. I think that is a great way to Handle it, I don't know him but I don't think he would pay for something like this with an account you have access to if he was trying to deceive you. Sounds like he probably didn't realize he had to cancel it. Hope everything works out!

Quoting Anonymous:

I think I may love you.. Lol

When I get a hold of him I'm just going to be like so.. I was trying to straighten up your email like we talked about and hey, did you forget to cancel your match subscription??

:/

Quoting tlcory:

But it could automatically go through the bank, I.e. I gave my debit/credit card info to Ancestory even though I received a new debit card they still had the bank information that just deducted it from my account so it doesn't matter if he has a new card is the checking account number still the same? Just hoping I can help find a reasonable explanation here!

Quoting Anonymous:

He's been having issues with his bank and got all off his cards clipped, cancelled and new ones issued. I checked when I saw your response and the card he used was just activated on the 8th. :(

Quoting tlcory:

Are you sure it just didn't automatically renew? I know on Ancestory.com it does that and it automatically took the money out of my account. Maybe he just didn't realize he had to cancel it?

I found my dh had opened one of those emails. I was pissed. I kept checking it but he never activated an acct there. I still gave him a shit storm over it though. Idk what i would do. Obviously he hasn't met anyone yet but he might be close to trying.