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Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Weird Wednesday: Something Rotten

The human sense of taste evolved in part to protect us from
bad food. For instance, natural poisons
tend to be bitter on the tongue and we do not like bitter tastes (obviously,
that does not explain cable news shows but that’s a topic for a different
blog). Rotten foods as well are more
easily avoided because of their off flavors, but especially their smell and the
olfactory sense is closely associated with taste. Rotten foods trigger a physical response so
that we will avoid them.

And we do.

Except when we don’t.
In fact, sometimes we go to elaborate lengths to rot food so that then –
and only then – do we consider it to be at its peak of taste.

Go into your favorite gourmet supermarket and your nose will
likely carry you to the section created specifically to display artisanal
rotted mammary gland secretions. Fancy
French restaurants will bring an entire cart of these rotten delicacies to your
table at the end of the meal.

They just call it “cheese.” Actually, the French call it
“fromage” but you get my point. The
marketing consultants must have discovered that the name “rotted mammary gland
secretions” did not test well with the focus groups.

And we’ve embraced the rot elsewhere. Sauternes wine gets its delicate sweetness
from rotted grapes. Even the Internet is
in on the act with Rotten Tomatoes, the free range movie site.

I was moved toward all this rotten writing the other night
when this sight greeted me in the refrigerator.

No, it’s not a gorilla paw or a Texas-sized spider. It’s rotting bananas.

Astute readers of this blog will no doubt leap to the
conclusion that rotten bananas in the fridge must be a sign of Chef Dad at
work. A science experiment? Hiding things from guests? Preparing to throw things at the TV if the
Texas Longhorns have another lousy season?

Admittedly, I’m capable of all those things. But, in this case the ringed finger of rot
should point to BMW. Rotting bananas in
the fridge is a clear sign that we’ll be having banana muffins soon. You’ve no doubt seen commercials for foods
that tout they were “picked at the peak of freshness.” Well, for banana muffins, BMW uses the exact
opposite philosophy. Apparently, there
is a peak of non-freshness as well, just this side of when they really are
rotten and a few steps away from when they would walk out of the fridge on
their own like Thing in the Addams Family.

Add eggs, vanilla and a blender and they end up looking like
this.

If her timing was off, they bring new meaning to the words “fast
food” by lifting themselves out of the pan.

Great to see you back on When Dad Cooks, Mimi. This Food, Family, Friday's post will be on saving your cheese rinds. Next week is Pizza Week, so things will stay cheesy around here for a bit. Come back soon.

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About Me

My mother believed that anything worth eating was also worth frying. Mom's vegetable repertoire was limited. I was about 30, shopping with my California-raised bride, when I discovered that spinach was not naturally a bunch of green yuck that oozed out of a can.
Food and cooking is my hobby, my passion and a scholarly interest. It is also at the center of our family life.
Of course, Dad's cooking presents some unique hazards that are just built into the male DNA. It is said that men will only do things that are either dirty or dangerous and that pretty much describes the kitchen when I am in my frenzy. Early in our marriage, my wife would enter the kitchen and say some things that, well, can't be shared in a family-oriented blog, but you can easily find those words in other corners of the Internet. Over time, though, she discovered that there was a direct correlation between the level of utter destruction and the quality of the meal. These days, she comes into the kitchen, surveys the debris and says, "Oh, this is going to be good."