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Oh, Goddess Ellen. Oh, Goddess Oprah. Please hear our pleas. Illustration by Dori Hartley
You know things are getting desperate when you see the ads for Oprah Winfrey's new OWN network, and the first thing you say is, "Gee, I hope sh...What does one have to do to get Ellen or Oprah to answer her plea for cold hard cash?

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AOL Answers is no longer available

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