Monday, July 16, 2007

Three Stars (and one team so terrible its city has embraced a fictional character as its greatest sports hero)

The weekend's studs:

1. PHILLY PHANS -- After witnessing a franchise’s 10,000th loss, many fans would've cheered in a "It’s Ok, you’re a complete joke but you’re our team and we still love you" moment. Not in Philadelphia. Fans mercilessly booed the home team after a 10-2 drubbing to reach the dubious mark. Keep up the good fight, Philly fans; don’t let those bums break you (oh, who are we kidding? Poor Philly fans were broken a long time ago).

2. BRENT SUTTER -- The highest-scoring and least ugly Sutter brother left junior hockey to coach in the NHL. It’s about God-damn time. Sure, it sucks that he chose Hell of all destinations, but at least he’s arrived. Maybe he’ll help New Jersey sell tickets. Maybe Mother Teresa will rise from the dead and throw knives at people.

3. ERIK BEDARD -- A couple years ago, a Toronto Blue Jays commentator said Bedard “could be the next Johan Santana” if he developed his changeup. It seemed like Canadian broadcasters sucking a Canadian pitcher’s member into oblivion at the time, but look at Bedard now. He still leads the majors in strikeouts this season and he’s thrown 16 scoreless innings over his last two starts. He be good.

AND ONE TEAM THAT HAS CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO ITS CITY’S AWFUL SPORTS HISTORY THAT THE CITY HAS EMBRACED A FICTIONAL CHARACTER AS ITS GREATEST SPORTS HERO: PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES -- We wish they’d just kill themselves and get it over with, but they’d probably screw that up too.