Monday, July 18, 2016

MY STAND-UP COMEDY DEBUT = VENI, VIDI, VICI

While living in Las Vegas, during the Labor Day weekend in 1982, I took my girlfriend, (Sue my wife), to a favorite, romantic restaurant, Bob Taylor's Ranch House.

BOB TAYLOR'S IS LOCATED IN THE NORTHERN OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN. I DIDN'T PLAN IT BUT I PARKED FACING DOWNTOWN VEGAS.

After dinner, in our darkened car, I presented Sue an engagement ring and fumbled out my marriage proposal. Within seconds of her acceptance, Labor Day fireworks lit the near-distant skies above the Union Plaza Casino. We always took those unexpected yet timely pyrotechnics as an omen of success...and we were RIGHT!

*

This past Saturday night, I performed stand-up at the Comedy Hideaway, in Atlantic City. This experience was exhilarating, challenging and fun for me. And judging from the public's response and the positive vibe I got from the professional comedians who also appeared on stage, I did a good job.

I closed my schtick by quoting Julius Caesar, (and honoring him on his birthday) by calling out to Sean, (my Latin consultant), "Veni, vidi vici," (I came, I saw, I conquered).

JULIUS CAESAR (100 BC - 44 BC) WAS A ROMAN POLITICIAN AND GENERAL. HIS BIRTHDAY IS NOT ONLY JULY 13th BUT THE MONTH "JULY" WAS NAMED IN HIS HONOR.

In addition to Sean...Tom, Matt and Heiner played key roles in either encouraging me to go on stage or providing technical assistance to improve the final product. But one person out shines them all, my son Andrew.

ANDREW, (OY SUCH A MENTSCH), SINGLE-HANDEDLY ADVERTISED MY BIG MOMENT AND WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MUCH OF MY AUDIENCE. DURING MY DRAMATIC REHEARSAL MELT-DOWNS, HE PROVIDED PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP, (EVEN FREUD HAD TURNED MY CASE DOWN). ADDITIONALLY, ANDREW'S TECHNICAL SUPPORT PUT A MUSICAL FRAMEWORK TO MY PERFORMANCE. HE ALSO PRODUCED THE ATTACHED VIDEO AND DURING THE SHOW, HE VOLUNTARILY ISOLATED HIMSELF AWAY FROM HIS PEOPLE, TO ACT AS MY SOUND MAN.

The biggest question I have been receiving is, how, when and why did this sudden urge to perform stand-up come from?

The greatest influence in getting me on stage is stellar crime novelist Charlie Stella. We had a chance meeting about twelve years ago after not seeing each other in twenty-five years. He appreciated that I have led a colorful life. He especially liked my Vegas adventures and called me, "a natural story teller."

My confidence was catapulted by his praise, so I began writing out my experiences. These jottings developed into a twenty-piece series of "Standing Dead" short stories. Through Charlie's enthusiasm for my work, he encouraged me to refine my craft.

Later, he became my most consistent follower of this, my "MORE GLIB ThAN PROFOUND," blog. Now that my blog ideas have slowed down, it was a natural transition to find a new story telling vehicle.

It should be noted, I am not bashful but I never sought the spotlight. However, I now have an incredibly large arsenal of vignettes that I enjoy sharing (in intimate settings) with family, friends, coworkers and casino customers.

At my job this past April, I was dealing Pai Gow Poker, to one player. Woven into the game, I told this gentlemen several humorous tales. I could tell I was on a roll and that his was rapt on every word I said.

A buddy of his came by. I got a sense from their conversation that they were in some level of show business. When the friend left, I asked, "What do you do for a living?" He said, "I do stand-up, at the comedy club upstairs." I said, "We have a comedy club?" He said, "Yeah, for about a year and a half." I joked, "That's the best kept secret since the development of the nuclear bomb."

I went on break and this fellow was gone when I got back.

Three nights later, on my drive home from work, I recounted that meeting. I got the idea that if I entertained a professional, I might be able to do stand-up myself. I began thinking of a routine.

During the first week of May, I approached the comedy club manager, (Matt Bridgestone), of the Blue Velvet Theater. He was busy ushering the paying customers to the hostess, (it was a sell-out).

When I got his attention, I wanted to see if they ever have an "open mic night," for amateurs. His answer was no. Although there are many more small details, he did agree to giving me five minutes. I asked for twelve minutes. It was insane, he didn't hesitate and said, "Okay." As he went back to crowd control, he encouraged me to look around inside.

THE BLUE VELVET THEATER WAS A GORGEOUS, STATE-OF-ART COMEDY VENUE. THIS PLUSH SHOWROOM HAD A SEATING CAPACITY OF 100 AND SCREAMED-OUT...MAJOR LEAGUES.

I still hadn't sold myself on the idea of following through on this, "mental masturbation." When my wife Sue and I visited my son Andrew at college, (he was on the verge of graduating), I broke the news that I was considering doing stand-up. He enthusiastically, said, "When? I'll go!" His roommate Tom sealed the deal by saying the same thing.

From that moment on, I made a commitment to make this dalliance into a reality. At the same time, Andrew and Tom through social media, got the word out.

My big moment would be Saturday July 9, 2016. I chose that date because:

The theater is only open on Saturdays

I would be on vacation that week

I'd have two months to prepare, rehearse and advertise

Later, we received happy news that Andrew got a summer job, in a psychology lab at Duke University. He vowed to drive nine-hours through Friday night to see me on stage. And leave Sunday to be back to work for Monday. I told him not to...even though I expected a big drop in attendance, (his friends wouldn't come without him). But it worked out that he could.

I waited until mid-June to touch base with the comedy club manager. He was doing me a favor so I didn't want to be a pest. I can only imagine the look on my face when I read his return E-Mail, "The Blue Velvet Theater has closed." I was about to shit my pants when I continued reading, "But I have another spot...here in town."

THE COMEDY HIDEAWAY, IS ON THE BEACH BLOCK OF NEW YORK AVENUE IN ATLANTIC CITY. IT HAS AN INTIMATE (75-SEAT CAPACITY), IN A, SPEAKEASY-LIKE ATMOSPHERE. ALTHOUGH THE ROOM IS FAR LESS SPECTACULAR THAN THE BLUE VELVET, IT DID RECEIVE POSITIVE REVIEWS ONLINE.

I didn't let this drastic change diminish my swag.

Indirectly, one of my best ideas was to use Frank Sinatra's song, "NEW YORK," for my walk-up music and as my close. It not only framed my performance but because I continually heard it in my head for two months, it became my anthem and a tool that kept me focused on the prize...succeeding.

My son Andrew not only helped record the needed musical segments but he acted as my sound man during the event, (up the street there is an all-nude cabaret). Both places are owned by the same person...to save a salary, one sound man runs back and forth between both. Who can blame this man for spending more time at the nudie show.

At the Comedy Hideaway, my audience was about twenty-five people, (seven-eighths of them were my people). The line-up of comedians included six professionals and me. I went on next to last, before the "head-liner."

The nervousness never overcame me, until I went to pee during the third act. I looked in the mirror and couldn't remember my first line. Later, I felt numb as I reviewed my cues with Andrew. We were still chatting when I was caught off guard by the emcee introducing me, (one of the other comedians didn't show up).

This last second switch worked to my benefit. I had no time to over-think the process as Andrew started the soundtrack and patted me on the back. While waiting for the exact phrase, "If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere," I inwardly repeated my mantra; be poised, have fun...and off I went.

THEY SAY, IN OUR SEARCH FOR PERFECTION, IT'S A NATURAL TENDENCY TO DWELL ON OUR MISTAKES. I HAD MESSED-UP OR FORGOT SO MANY KEY LINES. BUT I HID THEM WELL ENOUGH THAT THE AUDIENCE APPRECIATED WHAT THEY DID SEE..AND WHAT THEY SAW WAS GOOD.

The audience's positive response made my odyssey worthwhile. I felt empowered and after my set was over I remembered to thank the manager, Matt Bridgestone, (even though he wasn't there).

My body felt like jelly long after I was over. I languished over my screw-ups until, on the way out, the professional comics gave me sincere congratulations...and were amazed that it was my first time.

As my entourage and I stepped into the street, the darkened Atlantic City skyline exploded in brightness. The fireworks that had been cancelled on the 4th of July magically signaled to me that I had succeeded. And from the feedback I've gotten from Andrew's video and general word mouth...the firework omen was correct again.

That night's joyride didn't end. We adjourned to the Black Cat Bar in the next town, Absecon for the after party. Three other couples joined us who had missed the show.

THE "A-TEAM," CAPPING OFF MY PERSONAL TRIUMPH WITH GREAT FRIENDS, AT THE BLACK CAT BAR IN ABSECON.

We adults all have heavy responsibilities. It's infrequent that we have special moments all to ourselves.At no point did I ever think doing stand-up was anything more than a wild hair up my ass but through the greatness of the people I surround myself with, it became far more rewarding and a personal highlight of my life.

A special thanks to everyone who came, supported me or cheered me on from afar. Andrew's friends who came a great distance like Heiner F., (all the photo credit on Facebook goes to him). Tom K., (public relations and promotion), Matt H., (who came against the odds of an early start of a new job the next morning) and Sean F. (Latin consultant)...even though at the party I had to remind him that Veni, vidi vici meant;I came, I saw, I conquered.

Good thing my Elizabeth is a Lizzie. Great job. Funny stuff. A couple of blips but you recovered. I DID hear Paulie V. laughing. You deserve tons of ups...to suddenly try something new, especially as tough as stand-up --- JOEMAC

After 39 years of working weekends, what a great way to kick off my retirement. I enjoyed your comedy routine, it was well-worth the drive in from Mount Holly. You looked comfy on stage. I hope you do it again. --- Paul

You know we wanted to be in the audience but the after party was big fun. We both watched the video...AND...Mike and I agree you did not seem nervous. You spoke as if you were at our kitchen table :) --- M-A ALLEN

I did amateur theater and I know how nerve racking the first time was. But nobody could guess that your comedy was your first try. I liked your stage presence. The quiet start, made us think you were in over your head. Then once you got going, nobody could stop you. Your story was easy to follow, a lot of funny stuff along the way, until the thought of Chippy giving you mouth-to-mouth ending with his knee in your chest. I laughed at that one. I hope you perform again. Your video is a keeper! --- Lee Lee

WOW. I hate cliche. In fact I cringe when I hear it. But I was so impressed by your performance that I have to cringe now as I say "you are a natural". There was a Steven Wright aura in the midst of your act that was hilarious in itself. Your act brought us into your personal world and you made that personal world funny. Loved how you brought back Elizabeth in your tale - that was genius and hysterical. Great job and best of luck going forward. Your blog set the stage for your passion to perform and to tell your stories. Really hope you continue. Dont ever forget your roots. There is more comedy in Brooklyn than anywhere else. --- Brooklyns finest Michael and Debbie. Your Hi-Card flushy flushers, (now in Staten Island).

I am beyond proud of my dad for wowing the crowd with his first ever stand up comedy set. Youve been sharing your authentic sense of humor with me all my life — now you got to share your take on Sinatra, Hawaiian turtles and getting chubbies with a room full of folks. You go daddio :) --- FARNSWORTH

Pretty amazing. You got off to a great start. I loved the Benjamin Moore reference to crap colored paint. The big finish with Chippys knee on your chest was killer. But I wish there was more big laughs...maybe it was too long. Either way, you deserve a lot of credit. If you stick with it, I know you can be much better. --- Rich from Pittsgrove NJ

I watched your show with my son. We laughed a lot. He thought Elizabeth NJ being so smelly was great. It was cool that you nicknamed the hottie couple Barbie and Ken and that she was such a meanie. So it was a big funny surprise to me that she was really named Elizabeth and that she saved you. --- Tammy EHT NJ

Steve.......here it is April 18th, 2017, and I finally got a chance to see your comedy routine on Facebook. Funny stuff! For some reason I see a bit of Art Carney in you. Never the less, you are one funny hombre and hope you continue to nurture your comedic talent.

I miss your More Glib blog. I hope you resurrect it soon. I saw your open mic debut when you wrote about it and never commented. Just saw it again. You are funny...seeing Jersey for the first time, priceless! It must have been so exciting for you. And I admire the guts it took just to follow through and do it. Do it again soon. TW of Country Lane

NEIL ARMSTRONG - ASTRONAUNT (1930-2012)

MARCEL MARCEAU - MIME, ACTOR (1923-2007)

"FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALL MIGHTY, I'M FREE AT LAST." and "DARKNESS CANNOT DRIVE OUT DARKNESS. ONLY LIGHT CAN DO THAT. HATE CANNOT DRIVE OUT HATE. ONLY LOVE CAN DO THAT." and "I HAVE A DREAM THAT MY FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WILL ONE DAY LIVE IN A NATION WHERE THEY WILL NOT BE JUDGED BY THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN, BUT BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR CHARACTER."

LINDSAY NELSON - SPORTSCASTER - (1919-1995)

"THEY, (THE 1962, NEW YORK METS), PLAYED FOR FUN, BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T PLAY ANY OTHER WAY."

SAM LEVENSON - HUMORIST-JOURNALIST (1911-1980)

IF YOU DIE IN AN ELEVATOR, BE SURE TO PRESS THE "UP" BUTTON.

BUDDHA (SIDDHARTHA GAUTAMA) - SPIRITUAL TEACHER (c. 563 BC - 483 BC)

"THOUSANDS OF CANDLES CAN BE LIT FROM A SINGLE CANDLE, AND THE LIFE OF THE CANDLE WILL NOT BE SHORTENED. HAPPINESS NEVER DECREASES BY BEING SHARED." and "YOU CAN SEARCH THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FOR SOMEONE MORE DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION THAN YOU ARE YOURSELF AND THAT PERSON IS NOT TO BE FOUND ANYWHERE. YOU YOURSELF, AS MUCH AS ANYBODY IN THE UNIVERSE, DESERVE YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION."

MOTHER TERESA - NUN & MISSIONARY (1910-1997)

"I KNOW GOD WILL NOT GIVE ME ANYTHING I CAN'T HANDLE, I JUST WISH HE DIDN'T TRUST ME SO MUCH."

SHIRLEY JACKSON - AUTHOR (1916-1965)

"I HAVE OFTEN NOTICED THAT ONE CAN OBSERVE WITH DETATCHMENT, SIGHTS THAT WHEN PUT INTO WORDS BECOME DISGUSTING."

MALCOLM X. - CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVIST, CLERGYMAN (1925-1965)

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SO BLIND WITH PATRIOTISM THAT YOU CAN'T FACE REALITY. WRONG IS WRONG NO MATTER WHO SAYS IT OR DOES IT."

MEL BLANC - VOICE ACTOR, COMEDIAN (1908-1989)

"THAT'S ALL FOLKS!"

MUHAMMAD ALI - BOXER, SOCIAL ACTIVIST (1942-Present)

"I AM THE GREATEST."

JACKIE GLEASON - ACTOR, COMEDIAN (1916-1987)

"THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO WITH MONEY... IS SAVE IT."

JAWAHARLAL NEHRU - 1st PRIME MINISTER OF INDIA - 1889-1964

"LIFE IS LIKE A GAME OF CARDS, THE HAND YOU ARE DEALT IS DETERMINISM. THE WAY YOU PLAY IT, IS FREE WILL."

HARRY TRUMAN - 33RD U.S. PRESIDENT - (1884-1972)

"IT'S A RECESSION WHEN YOUR NEIGHBOR LOSES HIS JOB; IT'S A DEPRESSION WHEN YOU LOSE YOURS."

EDGAR ALLAN POE - AUTHOR (1809-1849)

"I HAVE NO FAITH IN HUMAN PERFECTABILITY. I THINK THAT HUMAN EXERTION WILL HAVE NO APPRECIABLE EFFECT UPON HUMANITY. MAN IS NOW ONLY MORE ACTIVE-NOT MORE HAPPY-NOR WISE, THAN HE WAS 6000 YEARS AGO."

CONFUCIUS - SOCIAL PHILOSOPHER - (551 BC - 479 BC)

"NEVER IMPOSE ONTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE FOR YOURSELF."

RODNEY DANGERFIELD - ACTOR - COMEDIAN - (1921-2004)

MY LUCK IS SO BAD, IF I INVESTED IN A CEMETERY, PEOPLE WOULD STOP DYING....Dangerfield's Tombstone, "THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD."

ZSA ZSA GABOR - ACTRESS - (1917-PRESENT)

"I NEVER HATED A MAN ENOUGH TO GIVE BACK HIS DIAMONDS."

RONALD REAGAN - 40th U.S. PRESIDENT - ACTOR (1911-2004)

"IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT POLITICS IS THE SECOND OLDEST PROFESSION. I HAVE LEARNED THAT IT BEARS A STRIKING RESEMBLENCE TO THE FIRST.'

HASKEL "HY" EDELBLUM - FATHER, ROLE MODEL, ARTIST (1928-1995)

"IF SOMEONE IS TALKING TO THEM SELF AND YOU ANSWER, THEN THEY AREN'T TALKING TO THEM SELF."

OPRAH WINFREY TV Host, Producer, Philantropist (1954 to Present)

"CHEERS TO A NEW YEAR AND ANOTHER CHANCE TO GET IT RIGHT." and "YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL. YOU JUST CAN'T HAVE IT ALL AT ONCE."

ERMA BOMBECK - AUTHOR, HUMORIST (1927-1996)

SHOPPING IS A WOMAN THING. IT'S A CONTACT SPORT LIKE FOOTBALL. WOMEN ENJOY THE SCRIMMAGE, THE NOISY CROWDS, THE DANGER OF BEING TRAMPLED TO DEATH AND THE ECSTASY OF THE PURCHASE.

TRUMAN CAPOTE - AUTHOR, HUMORIST (1924-1984)

LIFE IS A MODERATELY GOOD PLAY WITH A BADLY WRITTEN THIRD ACT.

CLARENCE DARROW - LAWYER (1857-1938)

AS LONG AS THE WORLD SHALL LAST THERE WILL ALWAYS BE WRONGS AND IF NO MAN OBJECTED AND NO MAN REBELLED, THESE WRONGS WOULD LAST FOREVER.