Only Right Kind Of Music Can Soothe

Get Serious!

Right now, even you people who don't listen to public radio are probably wondering: What is it about classical music that makes it a crime-and-violence repellent? And is it safe to use on my kids?

I am referring, of course, to the recent news report out of West Palm Beach, Fla., where police pacified a crime-ridden street corner by playing classical music. According to an Associated Press report, police put speakers on top of a building at this corner and played Bach, Beethoven and Mozart 24 hours a day. Ever since, they say, there have been fewer shootings, thefts and drug deals going on.

This shouldn't be surprising. After all, "Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast," as William Congreve wrote in his masterpiece, "The Benny Goodman Story." On the other hand, maybe these particular savage breasts were not soothed, but chased away. Certainly music can do that. If the police had played, say, "Muskrat Love" by Captain & Tennille 24 hours a day, everybody would have left the neighborhood.

You should note that music being played in West Palm Beach is Official capital-C Classical music, which musicologists define as "music written by guys who have been dead 200 years and wore funny wigs, though not necessarily in that order."

There is a lot of other music that is called "classical" under a looser definition, which is "any music that you have to put a tie on to go listen to." This category includes a lot of music that might have a slightly different effect. For instance, if you played music by Richard Wagner 24 hours a day, it also might make the criminals stop committing crime. But then they would form themselves into ranks and invade Poland.

Then there is the music of Tchaikovsky, who is widely accused of being a classical composer, despite the fact that he wrote several catchy tunes that people can hum. If the police had played his music, we might have wound up with a lot of drug dealers doing the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, and wouldn't you pay good money to see that?

Still, I believe in the power of music to curb violence, because I have seen it happen with my own eyes. It happened to none other than my tough cousin Rocco, up in New Jersey.

Rocco was the fiercest street brawler in town. He would punch you out as soon as look at you. In fact, he could punch you without looking at you, like a basketball player making a behind-the-back pass.

But no matter how much of a fury Rocco was in, one thing could calm him: the sound of some sentimental old Italian song. Let someone play "O Sole Mio," and Rocco's eyes would mist over, his bosom would heave, and with a tender gesture he would take his foot off your windpipe.

The sweet strains of "Come Back to Sorrento" would make him stop hot-wiring your Oldsmobile and fall into a reverie, even though he had never been to Sorrento and probably wouldn't have preferred it to Perth Amboy.

And if all else failed to soothe Rocco's savage breast, there was the ultimate weapon: Connie Francis. Play Miss Francis' recording of "Santa Lucia," and Rocco would weep like a bambino.

True, Connie Francis might not work on troublemakers of other ethnic persuasions. But police forces everywhere might follow the West Palm Beach example and consider using the classics to fight crime.

One bit of advice, though: If you want to reduce gunfire in your neighborhood, don't try the "1812" Overture.

Tony Gabriele can be reached at 247-4786 or by e-mail at tgabriele@dailypress.com.