#WeAreAllSorry, Shia

Former child actor and friend of the Autobots Shia LeBeouf seems to be leaving the bright lights of Hollywood behind him for a less glamorous venture — performance art.

Of course, acting is performance art, but Shia seems to be going for something a little creepier these days.

After a plagiarism scandal that saw him commission a skywriter to write an apology, and after announcing his retirement, LeBeouf is now practicing a new style of performance art — sitting in a room in silence doing nothing.

I know. I didn’t really understand it when I first heard about it either. But because the internet exists, I was able to watch a video of the experience.

Here’s the basic synopsis on the #IAMSORRY art show:

People wait in a long line for hours, curious as to exactly what the heck is going to happen when they are in the room with Shia. Upon entering said room, Shia is seen wearing a paper bag over his head that reads, “I am not famous anymore.” The art show patron can then remove the bag (Shia does nothing) and expose a dead stare. The actor, or, whoops, retired actor, does nothing. He says nothing. In the video I watched he was badgered and asked questions. There was no response.

People were asked what the art exhibit was like, and most of them used the words “weird” or “bizarre” at some point. Apparently the one-time actor cried while some of the patrons were in the room, and although he never talked, he did let fans take photos with him or give him hugs.

I’ve always been a sucker for weird celebrity news (of course, Shia isn’t famous anymore, per his paper bag), but I really have no idea what the heck is going on here. Who’s the heel here? The voluntarily exiled thespian, clearly denouncing his celebrity in a play for more attention, or the fans who are lining up to sit in a room with him while he stares through them?

To be honest, it’s hard for me to rip the “art show” patrons in this case. Sure they seem like fools for waiting in line, some for hours, for a chance to experience, well, nothing, really. But at the same time, who wouldn’t be curious? Here’s an actor, dare I say, an A-lister, who has been the love interest of Megan Fox, fought alongside Optimus Prime and helped Will Smith rid the world of evil robot police. Maybe some people asked him what we all would after we peeled off the head bag — “How the heck did you get here? What are you sorry for? Does it get hot in that bag? How long do we have before you inevitably check yourself into rehab?”

Unfortunately, there’d be no response. Nothing. Dead silence and a dead gaze. It’s very possible, and likely, this is just all a game being played by LeBeouf, like Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck’s fake documentary that made the former appear to be in a downward spiral.

If so, I just wish Shia’s was a little more exciting. I see depressed people wearing paper bags on their heads every Sunday in the fall when I watch the Lions.

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