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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

What Sucks…Private Practice

Look, I know I’m not exactly breaking new ground here and I definitely do not watch this show (I’ve thrown the wife under the buses for less) but holy shitballs does Private Practice suck.

It’s from the same people who do Grey’s Anatomy. So right there it’s like “from the makers piss…it’s shit!”

Take for example, the clip above. Go ahead, watch it- it’s only two minutes. Don’t want to? Perfectly reasonable. I wouldn’t. Here it is summed up…

Amy Brenneman plays a psychologist on the show- she’s a doctor. She went to medical school, highly respected in her firm, licensed- and in the above clip she delivers a tear filled monologue about her ass. I repeat- she’s crying hysterically about her ass. No she’s not a patient about to be sent away to a funny farm- she’s a DOCTOR! A SHRINK EVEN- and she’s crying about her own ass!

This is a scene that was a) written, b) directed and c) acted. No one along the way thought that maybe, you know, it was a little retarded? That perhaps, it was incredibly stupid? Everyone signed off on the ass crying scene?

9 million people watch this show each week- they’re all okay with it? I’ve seen more well-rounded female characters in the “Emmanuelle In Space” series, WTF, America?

Private Practice- also has various scenes where these doctor chicks get together and binge eat because their respective love interests don’t say hi to them every day. These are doctors- how does Private Practice think regular women react? How long before we see…

INT. HOSPITAL. DAY.

Addison enters, she passes her diploma from Johns Hopkins that hangs on the wall before seeing Dr. Naomi Bennett sitting on the couch, eating ice cream out of a carton.

ADDISONYeah, totally repaired that baby’s spleen.

NAOMIThen why do you seem so down?

ADDISONArgh! That stupid UPS man didn’t say hi to me.

NAOMIGirlfriend, grab a spoon.

So let me get this straight Grey’s Anatomy/ Private Practice people- chicks can go to med school, become doctors but they’re still gonna be whores and sleep with every thing that moves (Grey’s Anatomy) or have existential crisis’s about their own asses?

3 comments:

Amen! This show has no substance or direction. Basically a bunch of has beens in high fashion sculpted in shots fronting an office space that would only plastic surgeons could afford to lease!!! Hate! HATE! This show!

Damn right... Been suffering through this car wreck of a show because the wife found it on Netflix... My lord, obviously written by a retarded coked up uneducated politician, almost every episode involves a woman shitting her pants on a airplane running out of fuel, and the pilots are dead, crashing into a orphanage that's on fire built above a Indian graveyard with hoards of zombies crawling out of the ground... I've sat through sibling screwing, "I'm my own grandpa" soap operas with better writing... Shame on you writers of pp, shame on you!

What Sucks Mission Statement

Suckiness surrounds us all, gripping us in a vice-like hold, with the ferocity of a bear trap made of shit. My mission? To offer insight and shed understanding on the vast, seemingly endless, black hole of crap each one of us has to face on a daily basis. And while that torrent of bullshit is both mammoth in scope and unyielding in its advance, at least here it can be called it out for what it is- a lot of shit that really sucks.

So join me- everyday I’ll shine the spotlight on something that sucks. And your comments, until you weird me out, are always welcome. That being said, thanks for stopping by and sorry everything sucks so bad.

About Me

Chris DeLuca is a writer/ producer/ comic currently living in Hoboken, the Prague of New Jersey. He's written for a bunch of TV shows you probably have not watched or heard of (United States of Hip Hop, Nikki & Sara Live, Mob Wives Reunion, BET's Don't Sleep, and Fuse News- see?) as well as Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn, Best Week Ever, Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson and the 12/12/12 Concert For Sandy Relief. He was also the "World's Oldest Intern" on VH1's Big Morning Buzz. In 2009 he created, wrote and starred in the hilarious, and subversive “Mocap, LLC" on Spike. Sadly, he thinks he caused his parent's divorce.