Before I get into it, it looks like production for Bachelor in Paradise has started up again. They've done an "internal investigation" and found no wrong-doing... I know I basically said life isn't worth living if they cancel the show but I do sincerely hope this isn't some sort of cover-up. The producers have certainly done some questionable shit before but there's part of me hoping there's a line...

In other news, I finally looked at the racist/sexist/homophobic/otherwise disgusting tweets of Angry Musician Lee. Lord Harrison said that they didn't know about these tweets before but I feel like that's COMPLETE bullshit. Like they didn't look into all the dudes' social media. Oh we just didn't scroll back as far as 2016... They wanted someone with the highest level of racism they could get away with on the show. Look at what this fucking piece of shit said. Highlights include calling Black Lives Matter a terrorist group and saying there's no such thing as a pretty feminist.

Back tomy prison,this show...Racist POS: "You're damn right I enjoy pissing him off. I have so much fun shit-talking on these nights." Racist POS interrupts Wrestler Kenny and Rachel, making it seem like he wanted to talk to Kenny. Kenny asks for 60 seconds.

Racist POS stands to the side, finger-counting down sixteen seconds.

Coincidentally, three is also the number of inches our Lord gave me that resulted in my severe personality disorder.

Wrestler Kenny makes a hilarious disapproving face to camera when Racist POS boots him out, due to this being Lee's second chat with Rachel: “Don't like that shit!”

Dean: "I think Lee's a fucking moron... I just think Lee’s kind of a bitch." This made me like Dean SO much.

Lee's kind of a bitch. Wait did I mix up the phrase "kind of" and "definitely is" again? Shoot!

Meanwhile, Racist POS sucks up to Rachel by showing her how he used his deceased grandfather's knife to carve the word "Enchanted" into a block of wood super shittily.

I'm certain you'll want to hang this somewhere prominent in your home no matter what happens with us.

Dean calls Lee racist to camera: "The only people that I've seen Lee pick fights with have not been the people that uh, he's not used to seeing on a daily basis from a cultural perspective."
Producer: "What do you mean?"
Dean: "You know exactly what I mean when I say that... The longer Lee sticks around the more everyone will become aware of his intolerance."

Wrestler Kenny tells the guys what happened.

I'm OK with his undercurrent of racist bullshit brimming just beneath the surface, but I draw the line at DOUBLE-DIPPING with our collective girlfriend, bro!

Colombian Bryan meanwhile tells Rachel he doesn't see anything anymore except her: "I want you to be vulnerable with me."

I don't even see Drama. I'm Drama-blind. Let's just be vulnerable together.

Bryan: "Rachel is beautiful, smart, personality-wise is amazing."

Personality-wise, checks the box. Has one.

Rachel: "You are so charming it scares me... It’s scaring me that it’s too good to be true."

Tbh the other thing that scares me is how you try to eat my whole head every time we kiss.

Chicks dig fairy tales right? This is the one where the princess tries to date 30 dudes who just want to quit their jobs and hock DIFFeyeware on Instagram.

Everyone knows 1000% is the realest percent.

I like to keep it 100 so I'm RULL impressed by keeping it 1000.

Wrestler Kenny confronts Racist POS who says: "Get to it."

I hate him. Is that clear yet?

Kenny: "You took advantage of our 'friendship' to get more time with Rachel."

You took advantage of our "friendship". I'm starting to question how you said it was a weird coincidence that the friendship bracelet you whittled me gave me a full-body rash.

Racist POS: "Why would you ever think that?"

Good Heavens! What other than everything I've said and every single one of my actions causes you to believe such nonsense about me!

Dean: "I hope Kenny punches Lee in the face."

Rachel is with Firefighter Bryce and they hear yelling. Rachel: "This is really happening?"

Racist POS to Kenny: "I just wanted to talk to her real quick."

I just wanted to ask her one lil quick question about what her definition of terrorism is

Lee says: "I gotta do what I've gotta do and sometime's that's gonna make me look like the bad guy. But I get tickled when I smile and an angry man gets angrier."

The only thing that's going to make me look like a bad guy is the stuff I do on camera to other human beings

You know those funny butterflies in your stomach you get when you see another person in abject misery?

Kenny: "You fucking tapped me Lee! I thought that you were my friend and you continuously prove that you are not."

Racist POS to camera: "Kenny, you’re fucking going home."

Racist POS to Model Brady: "Number one way you can piss someone off is you just laugh at them and make a fool out of them... It’s not going to put a tear in my beer at all."

Meet me at this same spot tomorrow Brady for tomorrow's POS Seminar on "how to hide that you're a psychopath behind a religious facade."

It's so weird how these things burn when I light them on fire.

Rachel gives us one of the most intense moments yet: "You don't understand the pressures that are going to come with all of this... The pressures that I feel about being a black woman and what that is... I get pressured from so many different ways being in this position and I did not want to get into all of this tonight. I already know what people are gonna say about me and judge me for the decisions that I'm making. And I'm gonna be the one who has to deal with that and nobody else... You have no idea what it's like to be in this position."
Producer: "I don't at all."

Lord Harrison steps in: "We're all here to help you."

I can facilitate anything to help you except telling you who the secret racists are or the dudes with girlfriends.

Racist POS to camera: "Kenny's a big ol' meathead... I wanted to break him down." OK this makes me feel like the producers are evil not warning Rachel. But I guess if you purposefully put a racist dude on The Bachelorette, you're not going to tell her.

I want to break another man down. That will definitely fill the infinite chasm inside me.

The blimp flies past the guys' hotel room. The guys describe how they think Rachel is into Dean but that he’s too young.

He would need to have aged at least five more years for her to find this romantic.

Jack Stone gets the next one-on-one. My friend: “That’s going to be an execution.”

Racist POS to himself: "That's bullshit."

Lee identifies a new target not-Lee to be broken down.

Racist POS to Jack Stone: "There's no shame in going home on a one-on-one."

Josiah: "Lee's an instigator. He's very passive aggressive. He's a little snake who loves to mess with peoples' heads."
Racist POS: "I want to win, and so I'm gonna do what I gotta do, even if it's hurting peoples' feelings." ​Lee doesn’t have a sliver of interest in Rachel. Lee is new Bentley from Ashley's season.

I think of other people's feelings like that block of wood I gave Rachel. I'm going to cut into them super sloppily to try to demonstrate my masculinity but prove nothing.

Later that night at cocktails...
Dean and Rachel bond over not being able to do anything because they came from religious families.

There was so much that I couldn't do. True, my Dad did forbid me from going on this show and then skipped my Hometown date last season but I'm an adult and can make my own bad decisions.

Then Dean reveals that his Mom died of breast cancer and then his family kind of fell apart after that. He tells Rachel she's the first person he's talked to about this??

Rachel says he's the "kind of person [she] wants to be around. That's the kind of partner [she] wants in life." Rachel gives Dean rose and they go dancing.​

Dean: "I can feel myself falling in love with her. And it feels really good"

Booze Cruise Group Date

Rachel: "I really hope they leave the drama at home."

Rachel: I really hope they leave the drama at home. That’s why I put both guys on the same group date.

The guys go dancing on a booze cruise and Rachel tells them to take their shirts off.

Josiah does push ups with Rachel on his back.

Kenny raps. Next Hot Peter raps. Yikes.

When he's so hot you don't notice his rap includes a fart reference and calling you a "girl from the hood."

They get off the love boat. Rachel: "I’ve tested their dancing and stripping skills and now I’m going to test their cerebral skills." It's the Bachelor Nation spelling bee.

Lee: "I did not see that coming." Eric was hoping for a wet t-shirt contest. Josiah: "My vocabulary is such on another level."

I have the best words.

Adam Junior is in the crowd.

It's like a creepy mascot that a PA has to style and bring everywhere.

Hot Peter is intimidated by the bee: "Jonathan's a doctor. Anthony's like, a secret genius. Will reads like six books a day."
Lord Harrison emcees: "The word is squirt."

It's what most ladies do when they meet my doll companion.

It's the name of the Chippendales room where I got most of my tips.

Eric spells Façade in the craziest way.

Lord Harrison: "So some of this can get kind of NC-17. Girls, put your earmuffs on for this one." The three twelve-year-old girl judges put actual earmuffs on for this bit.

Hot Peter has no fucking clue how to spell coitus. Ugh.

Will and Josiah are the top two. Josiah uses his turn to do sultry standup. Lord Harrison: “He’s like a late night DJ.”

Iggy continues to say random combinations of words that no one gives a shit about: "Josiah's just annoying. I don't know if there's like, a more or less annoying Josiah."

Josiah spells Polyamorous right to win.

Josiah makes out with the trophy for too long.

Cocktails later that night...
Josiah drinks from his trophy.

While some dudes have yet to kiss her (Tickler, Iggy, etc.), Rachel and Hot Peter are already talking about moving in together. Rachel reveals to him that she's licensed to practice in Wisconsin, his home state.

Hot Peter

The others

Back to Hot Peter

Iggy to Rachel: "How you doing sweetie?"

Sweetie you have such a pretty smile. You should show us that smile more.

Then he launches into shit-talking Josiah: "We identify people that we see on a regular basis that we don't necessarily feel the same connection with... he’s covering up his insecurities with false bravado. He’s almost a pariah in the group... I’m like, weirdly protective over you."

I'm like, weirdly protective of you. That's where this all comes from. Fo sho not my own insecurities.

Iggy then immediately tells Josiah what he did. Josiah: "Why the fuck all y'all talking about me bro?"

Iggy: “There are multiple examples.”

There are multiple examples. As I laid out in the 30-page bullet-pointed proposal to Rachel about how she should keep me as her protector despite the lack of romantic connection.

Eric: "You're continuing to be in the sauce of the mixing pot."

Josiah to camera: "With all due respect, Iggy’s a bitch. Instead of focusing on his lame self, his whack self. I'm not even trying to be funny but I'm surprised he's still in the house. He’s the lamest dude in the house. He does drugs. He shoots steroids in his nuts. He confessed to all of us."

Josiah: "He tries to make it into a positive. 'I ain't gonna lie to you, Josiah. I just talked mad shit to Rachel'... He thinks by disclosing his rattish, snitching behavior that somehow justifies or nullifies what the hell he just said to Rachel."

Racist POS tries to explain to Rachel why Wrestler Kenny was yelling at him. He says that his own overflowing positivity somehow is misread by people as disingenuous.

Just in case anyone tries to tell you I'm disingenuous in the future, just know it stems from my positivity and their jealousy.

Racist POS: "He screamed at me." Rachel: "Just for interrupting?"
Racist POS: "Yes ma'am. That was it... (making rat face) I love the guy but that came out and confused me and I didn’t talk at all."

Racist POS to camera: "I don’t give a fuck about Kenny and I’m going to enjoy my time with Rachel. And I’m gonna smile. It is what it is."

Racist POS to Rachel: "There’s a side of him that came out that night that was very aggressive toward me and I can't explain it."

Wrestler Kenny raps at Rachel again and then she asks him about the argument.Kenny: "I felt like Lee was trying to use our friendship. Like, he was giving me so much shade. I feel like he was baiting me." Rachel asks why, if they made up, Lee told her tonight he was aggressive?

Kenny: "Because maybe Lee doesn't necessarily tell the truth."

Racist POS then tells two of the white dudes: "I can say something shitty about you guys any day of the week that irritates the shit out of me."

Don't worry, I'm an equal opportunity asshole.

Hot Peter makes up more words: "He speaks in a way that I find to be very disingenuine..."

​Kenny: "Her body language was very much like, in Lee’s corner... Lee is an alternative facts piece of garbage."

Wrestler Kenny: "If I go home, I’m going to feel fucked up about this entire process."

That is the correct reaction.

Kenny: "Aggression without action is talk... I was ten feet away from this guy... He’s a reptilian piece of garbage." Kenny calls Lee over for a chat. Eric to camera, ominously: "You swim in that dark, heavy water, man. You just might drown."

Upcoming Scenes: Lee and Kenny are on the two-on-one date. Kenny is bloody during the day.

Tag: Josiah, Will, and Kenny talk in British accents about GOT and it's adorable.