five years in the making.

last night I did something stupid. Not to say stupid, but rather untimely. it was something I had waited for longer than anyone could imagine, an ideal and action I secretly strived for. the moment itself was enough to take my breath away, even now. enough to make the butterflies in my stomach feel like bats. to make me smile from the inside out. It was a feeling I haven't truly grasped in I don't know how long. I felt as if my heart lept from my chest, and raced me all the way home, smiling. It was the first night in a long time I had a night's sleep unaided by drugs, alcohol, or medicine; if you can call two hours a night's sleep. I couldn't fall asleep at all. My mind was elsewhere. the situation that surrounded this moment made it sadly beautiful and tragic, like the sparrow in the kitten's jaw. like bonnie and clyde.

i don't regret it. is the point of writing this. documenting a moment I won't forget. something worth waiting a lifetime.