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Thursday, October 31, 2013

Secondly, those of you who read my blog know that I strive to live a healthy lifestyle by balancing lots of physical activity, whole foods, and nutrients with and occasional treat or two and of course...lots of coffee runs. Today's post revolves mostly around the latter side of that sentence because it's been a little crazy and after nine consecutive days of exercise, I woke up this morning and told myself not.a.chance.So instead I had two of these...

They are grande caramel latte's with an extra shot of espresso. Don't judge.And bought two huge bags of these...

Not to worry, I haven't eaten any but I have to support the little tikes I see running around my neighborhood everyday. I was going to make them promise me to play extra hard in gym class tomorrow but I figure since I took the day off, they can too!

It was a big afternoon for me today. I had a job interview that was 90 minutes in length. My goodness the amount of questions people can ask completely blows me away! I sat there smiling, hoping that it would earn me some points when I struggled to answer some of the questions that most people would only be able to answer had they been in a career for 20 years. I tried my absolute best, however, and had the chance to whip out my new boots that I'm so so in love with!

And my final confessions for this Halloween Eve...1. My costume rocks.2. I'm probably going to eat some of that candy up there.3. I'm working really hard on updating some things...excited!4. Since I didn't get the chance to workout today...you can do it for me hey hey?

Monday, October 28, 2013

Minnesota nature is beautiful and wonderful and perfect. We are all in search of happiness, a journey of self discovery, self love, and a time where our hearts our completely inspired. We spend so much time trying to piece our life together like a puzzle only to find that our purpose might be a piece that is completely different than the rest of it. The puzzle piece fits but our heart isn't quite fitting with our true purpose.

Where you are right now, whether you choose to believe it or not, is where you are supposed to be. Our hearts were not made to race through life coming up with finish lines along the way in hope for some sort of fulfillment. They were not made to spend time wishing for things we don't have or being angry with ourselves for imperfections. They were made to be grateful for all of the good things that happened today, to be curious, to love the person next to you, and to search for your calling while still finding joy in the place that you are.

And they were made to follow the sun, which is exactly what I learned today...

I reflected, I gave thanks, and I flooded my heart with the things that are taking place right in front of me. Once I took the time to do all of this, I became certain that the other (more difficult) things will truly just fall into place.

Friday, October 25, 2013

It's 7:30 AM. I'm on my second cup of coffee and I just finished submitting another job application. I worked on it for nearly 45 minutes and as I finished I thought about all of the jobs I've applied for in the past few weeks. The applications are similar and so are the questions. This morning it got to the point where I had to scroll to the top of the page to remind myself what I was even applying for. I'm beginning to feel a little lifeless with all of these job applications and even though I stated on Monday that "I can almost feel it," and "I'm so close," I started to lose a little hope this morning. So in order to encourage myself a little bit, I stuck my nose into one of my devotionals and decided to think about the good rather than the bad.

This morning, the little voice in my head began to doubt every little piece of myself. I had to stop that foolishness right in its tracks because doubt can only occur if you let it. You have to start by reminding yourself that you, yes YOU, are not perfect. And that's what I need to learn how to love...I cry. I can be weak. I get anxiety. I'm indecisive. I'm a perfectionist. Sometimes I criticize myself and others. I don't respond well to stress. And I can be jealous of what others have that I don't.

I'm not going to lie, these were some of thing things that popped into my head when I was questioning another job application this morning and I probably could of listed a thousand more. The negative things started popping into my head faster than a bag of popcorn and it was because I am my own worst enemy. These are the things that are readily available whenever something seems "difficult" or when I begin to feel "unworthy."

In real life these are things that many people wouldn't notice about me unless I brought them to their attention and this is because people that know you and like you always always always focus on the positives. This morning, I could have easily said,

I smile.

I'm strong.

I work through anxiousness.

I make decisions.

I embrace imperfections.

I have wonderful expectations for myself.

I'm learning to handle stress.

And I'm happy for others.

It's amazing how one little thing can completely change your state of mind. Whether it be a job application, or your late for work, you have a headache, you don't feel "good" about yourself, or nothing seems to be going quite right, self doubt always seems to pop in and say hello. This morning I had a choice. I could choose to have a terrible day and mope about not only the job application but the crazy things that entered my mind or I could choose to endure the fact that God is working on me and have peace in my day. I'm choosing to allow him to show me things because the truth about our behavior will set us free (John 8:32).

And if we embrace his work, accept our imperfections, and love the positive things about ourselves, we are able to share them with the world and we are able to, like my mom always tells me...keep moving.

Did I submit the job application? Yes I did. Am I going to continue searching? Yes I am. And now I'm going to go explore this beautiful day in front of me and I'm going to be comfortable in my own skin and I'm going to create a day of bliss, a day of no judgement, and a day of loving. loving loving loving.

Monday, October 21, 2013

This weekend was a long one.We left on Friday night for Madison,
Wisconsin which is a little over a five hour drive for us to attend my cousin's
wedding.I don't do that well in cars
but it was good practice for our potential road trip this spring!There's a few reasons why I struggle with
long car rides.

1.I drink water constantly so I need to stop quite often.

2.All of the exit signs with the pictures of what that particular town
contains as far as food and gas and lodging make me very antsy and I want to
stop at all of them from boredom.

3.Stopping makes the trip feel longer

4.It's difficult to eat healthy when you're on the road.Gas station apples and almonds are my usual
pick but then there is the trail mixes and the peanut butter m&m's oh my
gaaahd!

5.Pandora's commercial breaks drive me crazy.

6.I'm usually cold and everyone else in the car is usually hot which makes
for uncomfortable temperatures one way or another.

Other than those things it was a pretty
good trip.Plus, I realized that I can
change most of things by packing my own snacks, reading a book rather than
staring at exit signs, and making a playlist of music before heading out.A little planning ahead and the road sounds
wonderful!

The wedding was cold but I'm thankful that I found this little cup of happy to get me through it!

It was a rooftop wedding which we were
unaware of until the night before the ceremony but it was a beautiful day...and I
kind of fell in love with the city.

Other than crushing on this burly man in a tie the whole day, there was a little bonus: It was the first wedding after my own and it was such a surprise when I saw they labeled my last name as my married name! Even I was looking for my maiden name on the place cards!

The start of this week was a good one. I continued the job search all morning and came across a few that I had a good feeling about. I was thinking about jobs and family and really life in general this morning during my yoga class and this calm feeling came over me. I felt, in that moment, that everything is going to turn out okay. I began my dancer pose and held it longer than usual, stretching my leg further towards the wall behind me. I gazed down at the floor and was so proud of myself for making teeny tiny progress. I was reminded in that moment that patience and yoga compliment each other. And then I was reminded that patience and life do as well. A job is coming soon. I can almost feel it!