Arrived at 8.20am as Jane was leaving her night shift for two weeks holiday. She left us a little present, both babies are now on 3 hourly feeds! They seem to be tolerating them well and are stable in a maximum of 0.02 oxygen. They are doing so well!

Esther gained 10 grams over night and William’s weight stayed the same. The doctor is not overly concerned. He says that breastfed babies gain less weight. Helen agrees and thinks that we should not be too hung up on weight gain. Or lack of it!

We were going to put the babies to the breast every feed today but now Dorota is concerned with their lack of weight gain so we will stick with alternate feeds which is once every 6 hours. For this to work we need to be at the hospital by 8 every morning or not leave until 9 to ensure that both babies have equal chances at trying to feed.

David did Esther’s cares this morning. Full wash, nappy change and change of clothes. Then she went to the breast for her 9am feed and seemed to do really well. She looks so cute when she is feeding. After her feed and cuddle it was William’s turn for his cares. The doctor also came round at this time. The only thing to note is that if William still has his murmur when he is due to go home then he will need to have a heart scan to ascertain what the murmer is and discuss diagnosis, implications and possible treatment.

The doctor thinks that we should be aiming for home in 4 or 5 weeks, breastfeeding and without oxygen. Fingers crossed!?!

William had his go on the breast just after 11am. He did so well but then threw up when he was being tube fed. This could be because he’d had too much food ina combination of tube and breast feeds.

At 2pm Esther was wide awake and so I changed her nappy and had her out for a cuddle. It was lovely! She started sucking at my skin and so I put her to the breast and she had a bit of a suck and a lick. She is just so lovely when she does that.

I am still waiting to change William’s nappy. He is fast asleep after quite a wakeful morning. He seems quite sad today, young William. It makes me feel sad to think that he is sad. I am also sad today because Louise and I had a bit of a thing.

I asked about dummies but I asked out of the blue in quite an aggressive/defensive(?) tone as it had been on my mind a while. I did not mean to sound this way. Louise answered in an equally funny tone and then we both apologised. It was a bit weird, and very sad, as Louise is by far my favourite person here and has always been so good to David and I, and of course the twins. Along with Dorota and Jane. They have each played a huge part in our time here and in how well the twins are developing. I would hate to think that I annoyed her. Everything seems okay now. Situations like this make you realise how stressful the day to day is here but also how much you come to rely on and need people like Louise.

Esther had an apnoea today but it is the first time for either of them in about 48 hours. They are doing so well and still in very low oxygen. William is actually in air at the moment and Esther is in 0.01. They are happily saturating in the low 90s for much of the time. The doctor this morning said that their saturations should be at 85% – 95% rather than up to 100. But I also heard Louise say to him about CLD babies being more highly saturated than non CLD.

For the rest of today my plan is this –

4.15pm William nappy; 4.45pm William cuddle/feed; 5.45pm Esther nappy; 6pm Esther cuddle/feed; 6.45pm milk and 7.30pm go home as Francesca is making food for us tonight.