5.22.2002

Happy Birthday to me.

I got to work really early, I just cant seem to get it together time-wise in the morning. Im either early or late. And traffic is so questionable..bleh. Anyway.

Was sitting here at my desk contemplating being 40. Ooh, that makes me weepy just typing that. Where am I? What have I accomplished? My life is probably at least half over. What kind of legacy have I created? I started thinking about the things that are right...and the things that are wrong in my life.

I'm not "all I can be" by any means. My house is frequently a mess, my car is a mess, I don't take care of things, my ethics are questionable, and I've done a lot of things in the past that I am ashamed of.

I hurt the people I love without meaning to sometimes. I cry too easily, and am ridiculously sentimental. I procrastinate and short-cut my way through things if possible.

My body is in disrepair because of my own negligence. So's my car. Relationships too.

But~
I have a job that is a lot better than most of you. I make good money, and come and go when I please. I have very little work to do, and spend a grand amount of time at work doing other things. The people I work with are great, and we see each other frequently outside of work.

I have 3 wonderful kids that are caring, thoughtful, intelligent, and have a great sense of humor. I have a unique and close relationship with each one of them.

I have a lot of friends that I can count on.

Most of all, I have someone that I love with all my heart, who loves me back.