September 24, 2009

“Dude so give me a five minute re-cap of the night.”

“It was ok. At least I thought it was. I mean, it was going well until about three quarters of the way through the show this chick says ‘I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette’ and goes outside and fucking doesn’t come back.”

“Are you serious? What do you mean?”

“I mean dude, she went outside to smoke, which is straight, but after like thirty minutes I realize I’m still standing by myself like a fucking toolbox. The Horrors finished their set, played an encore and still no word from this girl. She didn’t even text me to say, ‘Sorry, I’m stuck talking to a friend’ or ‘Sorry, I have the shits’ or something. You know?”

“Yea, I bet it was the latter.”

“Right?”

“Yea.”

“But that’s weird, right?”

“What, the shits?”

“No dude, I mean to not let someone know that you’re ditching them.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be ditching if you told them you were about to do it.”

“Fuck you man, you know what I mean. That shit’s just rude. Girls can be real gay sometimes.”

“Lesbians? Well, was the show good at least?”

“Yea, Crocodiles killed it and the Horrors are legit.”

“See, there you go man. This chick gave you a free ticket to a sweet show. That’s a good night in my book. Plus, you should try to abuse this for other free shit since she works at the venue.”

September 22, 2009

September 20, 2009

Look, I’m not a hater, but this is getting ridiculous. HBO, you should be ashamed of yourself. Entourage is limping off to die behind the barn and you’re letting it happen in front of millions of viewers. It’s just embarrassing for everyone. I mean, has anything happened this season? Anything? I think Turtle hit a bong once or twice, but that’s about it. PLEASE, do us all a favor and either guarantee at least 10 minutes of Sloan camera time per episode or just put the show out of its misery. I know, I know. I’m a hypocrite. “If you don’t like the show, then don’t watch it.” Right? Well, I can’t stop. I just can’t. This fucking show is like audio/visual crack. I know it’s bad for me, it makes me numb and I feel guilty after watching it. Not that I’ve ever smoked crack…but I HAVE watched enough episodes of The Wire to know. But like a junkie, I keep coming back just in case there are boobs, or god forbid, a few minutes of Sloan. We all know HBO is just keeping the show around to maintain a “solid” line up. But you know what? There’s another show about the entertainment industry that has attractive women AND well-written, witty dialogue. And a protagonist that actually does shit. It’s called Californication and it’s taking, or rather, has already taken, the “bro show” title (just made that up) from Vince and co. Please, HBO, just give us what we want or give us our 21 minutes back so we can kick our habit.