Five Guys to Be Replaced by a Pizza Hut, Completing the College Park Pizza Franchise Trinity

Recently, the Five Guys on Route 1 closed, leaving the campus with only one burger restaurant: Bobby’s Burger Place. Many students expressed interest over whether or not a new restaurant would take the vacant space. Following much inquiry, President Wallace “Wally-L” Loh announced via Twitter that he plans to open a new Pizza Hut for one important reason- having absolutely every pizza chain in College Park.

Many students have expressed frustration at this due to the fact that there are six pizza restaurants within walking distance of the campus. Likewise, many of the existing pizzerias have expressed immense disagreement with the decision.

The general manager of Lotsa tweeted out: “Wow, another restaurant that people will choose over us.” The only pizzeria which hasn’t released a comment on (what many are calling) Pizza Hut-gate is Pizza Kingdom, which isn’t surprising considering nothing will ever compare to

Former Papa John’s CEO Papa John also released a statement claiming that having the pizza triad within walking distance to campus would be “disastrous, cruel, and unusual.” The local Domino’s has, at the moment, refused to issue a statement. However, an insider for The Black Sheep has revealed that Dominoes is now offering “free seven-minute delivery, effective immediately.”

Many students have expressed their ideas on what business should take over the vacant spot. Taco Bell, Popeyes, a weed distillery, and “a restaurant that only sells Coke products” were among the top contenders. After The Black Sheep informed freshman Jonny John about having a Dominoes, Pizza Hut, and a Papa John’s within walking distance, he told us that he was planning on calling “all three to deliver to his dorm and start a College Park pizza war.”