Cubs Cubicle: Harper to Chicago

In 1973, The Rolling Stones put out the jam “I know it’s only rock n roll but I like it.”

Well, I have a proclamation: I know it’s only a Bulls hat but I like it! I know Bryce is playing with Chicago’s Emotions like a chick fresh out of a relationship posting a bikini thong pic, but I don’t give a shit. This is big, f***ing huge. Considering Philly is the current favorite to sign Mr. Harper, why would he not be wearing a Sixers hat?! They have one of the most exciting teams in the league but yet a trash bag aroma of fans.

Riddle me this, who the f**k can name five players on the Bulls? I can tell you Bryce can’t. This is a hint, a hint as subtle as a gun to Ricketts, Theo, Jed, and the whole gang. F*****ng sign me. I want to be in Chicago. F**k Philly. F**k the swamp that is D.C. and F**k the Yankees. I want to play for the Chicago Cubs. This isn’t an early voting virtue signaling photo like you broadcasted from Lebron James.

This is a cry for help from a man who wants to play for the best f****ng franchise in Major League Baseball. Harper, if playing in front of the best fans every f****ng day sounds like a nice life to you, then sign here. Double down and in the words of his own wife: HARPER TO THE CUBS.

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[…] TL;DR: Beat Writers Suck. Theo has left us in a very stable position to compete. We may not win every year(no one does) but we will be competing and it will be exciting. Cubs are going to sign Bryce Harper, facts can be found here. […]