Slogging through more production setbacks than five films of normal length, Ozone Commandos crawls from the muck to make its debut a mere seventeen years after the first footage was completed. A little ridiculous perhaps, but that's what happens when one guy is doing post-production on 458 special effect shots. Yes, I counted them.

A stunning example of the Italian neorelativist school, steeped in the
smells of old Tuscany and bolstered by piquant Amerindian chiles. A parody of Arrivederci
Space Cruiser Yamato--but utilizing many different Yamato sources-- this
edit-heavy film originally ran 112 minutes (then 106 for the 2nd Anniversary Edition),
making it the first feature-length parody dub. But, of course, it was full of filler, which
has been lopped out or rewritten to create a version that's actually funny, if you like
this sort of thing. May piss off Christians and UFO loonies.

Due to the tragic events at Ruby Ridge, the visceral and highly
controversial scene detailing the bad blood between high-scoring puckster Jean Beliveau
and tobacco titan Thomas Fortune Ryan has been excised. All other portions remain, and are
(supposedly) funny!!

Notes from Gavv:

See more of the Dipwads in a merry Christmas adventure, with special visits with Ego Hat and Leper Jim, from their new residence in the Gwinnett Co.
Jail, along with other great interviews of anime film big-wigs, including Katsuhiro Otomo,
Osamu Tezuka, and Carl Macek, speaking on the Dipwads phenomenon.

How about working with me on the blimp tomorrow, Dan? Look into the
hypnotic eye! 200 years in the future, Ego Hat and Leper Jim have been awakened from their
cryogenic prison sentence to premiere the third amazing Star Dipwads feature. And
they use the word "saxifrage."

Notes from Gavv:

The Metal Years premiered at Project A-kon VIII in May 1997. It
is the single most ambitious parody piece ever put together. With footage taken from
innumerable episodes and across two Yamato storylines, this film is a masterpiece
of editing. Also includes the first known use of a Burma-Shave joke in the history of
anime fan parody dubbing. Good going!

Best quotes:
"We may not be able to get there before we leave; however, it may be possible
to get there before we arrive." - Sandor
"Whose arms are ticking?" - Wildstar

In a stark noirish change of pace, CPF enters a twisted conspiratorial
world of bleak technology. Despair and anger roil over into action in this suspense
thriller, which features those wacky MIBs you've probably heard about. It's a first episode from a longer four-part series we had planned to make before reality intervened. An enhanced version including the completed
scenes from volume two may be compiled eventually. Then again, maybe not.

Notes From Gavv:

Amazingly ambitious, many years before the comic book and many more
before the movie, CPF's MIB plays the story straight and does a good job with the
story with some good occasional SFX using a budget that was the equivalent of a good combo
meal.

A topographical plot elucidating the bounding regions of a Brownian
vector approaches pi as a limit asymptotically, defining the cross-section of a sinusoidal
region within an nth-dimensional space.

Notes from Gavv:

Jeff Tatarek/Jigoku no Video's
seminal live-action vs. animation edit-o-rama. The Universes of live-action and animation
have fought over endless time; now you will see the final confronting battles.... Some
included on tonight's fight card:
Harlock vs. Enterprise "A"--Dangaio&Gundam vs. The Rebel Hoth base--Many more that would
spoil the surprise!

More of the same, only in mono again. Originally titled "Same Shit,
Different Doo-Doo," whatever that means. In ear-bleeding stereophonic monaural sound! So freaking long that even we've never watched the whole thing!

Notes from Gavv:

First film created (or in this case co-created) by CPF that I ever saw
and even then I knew they were destined for...something. Sheer insanity reigns as the
convoluted, yet surprisingly intricate plot intertwinings come together in the final
glorious once-and-for-all-type confrontation (and you don't have to pay $7.50 for it to
boot!). You all wanted an Enterprise vs Yamato showdown; well, here you have one, you
incessant fanboy geeks! Now go away and buy another Ranma calendar before your
palms dry off!

This film was originally part of the popular Funk & Wagnall's
filmstrip series "Our Natural Heritage: America's Lakes and Rivers." It was
recalled when shocked parents discovered that the closing instructions for "Building
Your Own Atom-Powered Robot Slave" required only readily obtainable access to a local
malts-and-floats burger bar, and a vermiform Pez dispenser.

A sad, sad pygmy. Was making fun of "Prince of Space" four years before MST3K did, so SHUT UP, motherfucker. (Please note that this is in no way pretending to be any sort of serious documentary on the issue, about which we really don't care all that much.)

It's always funny until someone gets hurt, and then it's just hilarious! Watch the CPF gang blow lines, knock over sets, fall into densely-populated bird's nests, and generally demonstrate why we haven't made the big time yet. Contains what must surely be the worst fan video of all time.