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alright so a buddy of mine had sent me a story, like he does every once in a while, wanting some feedback from me. i for one always enjoy the stories and give feedback. this story though, i thought needed a bit more than just mine.

Spoiler:

Waiting to Fall

Nihilism – a total and absolute destructiveness, especially toward the world at large and including oneself: the power-mad nihilism that marked Hitler’s last years.

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,Some say in ice.From what I've tasted of desireI hold with those who favor fire.But if it had to perish twice,I think I know enough of hateTo say that for destruction iceIs also greatAnd would suffice.

- Robert Frost

I’m not making this stand for no apparent reason. I’m making it because I keep myself alive just to die more and more every day. My revolution is born out of love for my people. Not the hatred of others. Sometimes death is a necessary cause in the heart of war. But it’s really not my death as I fall from this building. It’s my love because that’s what is going to happen with the succession of my martyr. My love is going to happen. My love is going to win this interminable war.

You’re probably questioning yourself and questioning my actions and soon to be future actions, and for that matter questioning everything in the entire universe. I ask myself why every time I wake up, every night I sleep, and every second I breathe. Why? Why you? Why me? Why us for that matter? Why am I doing what I’m doing? Just why? Why has been the most evoked question since the beginning of time, from the age of dinosaurs, through time to the Renaissance, to the scandalous world we live in. Why is and has always been.

So why am I doing what I’m doing? Human beings are mercurial characters. They thrive on their appetite and only act on emotion. Sometimes they take chances. Sometimes they take pills. Sometimes they do really stupid things in the dire times of a war. I’m doing what I’m doing—jumping off this building to join my brothers Michael and Gabriel; to share my love; to end this strife and madness and the world within it, to end this timeless war.

The war all started when people began to think they had some type of destiny in life. That fate is actually a real thing and we are not capable of free will. It all started when people claimed their actions to be intertwined in the essence of time and bound from their own decision-thinking capabilities. The people were the cause of the war and will be the future decimation of the war. They will kill themselves.

The only two emotions human beings have in their life are love and fear. Love is the most subtle force on the universe. It is the alpha and the omega. It is boundless and within all and everything. Love is the conquerable and unconquerable. She yields to no one and spits acid on those who anger her. Fear is the shadows that creep into the darkness at night. Fear is what stifles your thinking. He is the only thing that can turn love sour. Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.

In each being there is love and fear, for the two are like Apollo and Artermis, the sun and moon, life and death—you cannot have one without the other. When I was created in this time zone I was full with love like any ordinary creature. Growing up in this place installed fear into me, only turning my inherent love sour. With time, I became a cruel, dark, animal—almost a human being. Through reasoning and precise calculation regarding the absence of love when I was engulfed with fear, I had no choice but only to go into the darkness.

The product of darkness is fear. In my case, however, I didn’t allow the fear to take over. I was in search of a place, not emptiness. It’s place that seems so dark sometimes that we must look within ourselves and alas I found light. When we are distracted by all the external traps and light sources in the world, it’s easy to not be able to see our own light. But when we are in the darkest of places—the darkest times of our futile, living to only die is when we are forced by spiritual evolution to shine or die, to stand or fall.

And that’s what brings me back to where we are now; you in some tight, enclosed room hearing my finals thoughts somehow and me, thirty feet from hitting the ground, hitting the world, hitting everyone with my love. We come to the darkness, not for punishment, but to find ourselves. We come to darkness to fight this interminable war I’m dying for. To make a stand or fall. To hit rock bottom or to thrive at the top of the food chain. That is why we come to darkness.

Every time a moment, a presence, a void of darkness presents itself you must go into it. The darkness is the love in the soul asking to be purified, to be cleansed. That’s why you must go into it, straight away into the abyss.

My darkness is this war, this cold, harsh, interminable war. And that is why I must go into it. I must go crashing into it, straight into the abyss.

Crashing… Crashing… Crash…

T

as a writer, i seriously respect my buddy, and i would appreciate it that whoever gives feedback. do it with a tad bit of seriousness in mind.

basically the person speaking is about to suicide. his normal way of thinking contorted and morphed due to the many experiences he has gone through. he becomes someone who hates the world and himself.

he reasons that he isnt killing himself because of hate or something petty, that hes killing himself because of his love. that by killing himself, his love will help guide. that it will help end many things.

the story is peeking into how experiences can make or break you.

rebuild you or destroy you.

take your ways of thinking and rip it apart and join it back in a different light.

in this character's case..... it broke him

and then. he hits the ground

--

GuestGuest

Subject: Re: i would like some feedback Fri Oct 04, 2013 2:26 am

Its quite dark, but has some good points in there that I did like. I also like the use of colorful words rather the same thing, though there were some parts where it felt like it repeated itself.

Quote :

The people were the cause of the war and will be the future decimation of the war. They will kill themselves.

Humans are in fact vicious creatures that being they are always the cause of wars over their false beliefs. They'd kill for anything, especially when they're at their lowest..the bottom line is Humans have been killing each other since the dawn of time and they will continue to kill each other, nothing will change that since corruption plagues this world.