Actual Exchanges Between Pilots And
Control Towers. These Are Priceless.
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise reduction turn right 45
Degrees.
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much
noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747
makes when it hits a 727?"
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long
takeoff queue: '111m f-ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting,
identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "l said I was f-ing bored, not f-ing
stupid!"
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy,
your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles,
Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say
this...l've got the little Fokker in sight."
A DC-IO had come in a little hot and thus had an
exceedingly long rollout after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard
right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.
If you are not able, take the Guadelupe exit off Highway
101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in
Munich, overheard the following: Lufthansa (in
German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must
speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "l am a German, flying a German
airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful
British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"
I lost It on the last one. XD

NATIONAL AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SERVICE
AIR TRAFFIC
CONTROL OFFICERS
BOARD OF TRADE (CIVIL AVIATION DEPARTMENT)
tnining in December 1970. TO quilify. be
There
at 21 and under 35 on August 1970 had
or air a-affe ex together with an standard of
Salary on •ppointmcnt to Grade be from El,99S
age YO over) rising higher London. Non-cantributary
are Grade 'o yea after
Thi' de has a of EZ,824.
p to gr.des w I th up to and
For fuller deans and Civil Service
Link. B.sinotoke. Hants„ quoting Closing date 17th 1970.

Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise reduction turn right 45
Degrees. "
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much
noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747
makes when it hits a 727?"
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long
takeoff queue: "I'm f-ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting,
identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "1 said I was f-ing bored, not f-ing
stupid l"
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy,
your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles,
Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say
this...l've got the little Fokker in sight. "
A DC-IO had come in a little hot and thus had an
exceedingly long rollout after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard
right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.
If you are not able, take the Guadelupe exit off Highway
101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in
Munich, overheard the following: Lufthansa (in
German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must
speak in English.
Lufthansa (in English): "l am a German, flying a German
airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful
British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

Air Traffic Controller
What society thinks
I do.
What my boss thinks I do.
What pilots think I do.
What the media thinks
I do.
What my friends think
I do.
FRAaz.COM
What my parents thinks I do.
What I think I do.

That means an aircraft
operators use of air traffic
control resources
determines the amount
owed to the FAA, whether
the aircraft is carrying
three or thirty or three-
hundred passengers.
lim May
GUOTEHD.COM