Challenge #01464-D003: Dammit Dwayne!

Always remember, no matter where you are, no matter when you are, someone out there is intent on being the reason we can't have nice things. -- RecklessPrudence

Through all of time and all of space, there's always one of Them. You know Them. They're always cheerfully helpful and a beat behind everyone else's drum. They mean well, which is the most damnable of faint praise. Their heart's in the right place, people say. It's the elbows, knees and ankles you have to worry about.

Sometimes, they are gormless wonders. Sometimes, they're clever in all the wrong ways. But what they are to everyone else, regardless of the excuses you may make around them, is homicidally annoying.

The cascade of doomed crockery woke Luanne up from what had almost been a proper sleep. She lurched from her bed and out into the main living area where Dwayne stood in the middle of a small mountain of potsherds. "Dammit, Dwayne," she sighed. "Why?"