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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Cancer Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Here I am , back on Mama Bla Blah after months of silence. The past 2
weeks, I feel like I've been living in an out-of-body experience. How
did I get here? How does a 36 year young mother of 5 end up with stage 3
ovarian cancer??? I can tell you, it's the last thing I thought I'd be
dealing with after the whole saga with the parotid tumor back in 2011.
After having such a rare tumor, who would imagine that I'd sneak into
another rare statistical category?!

Several months ago, I posted here about having blood work done and
discovering anemia and drastic vitamin deficiencies. Shortly after, I
began to suffer from vague symptoms such as severe fatigue, morning
sickness, and extreme nausea. My thyroid led us on a wild goose chase
for a while due to a growth (benign) which concerned my doctors for a
few months. Thank G-d, my thyroid is ticking away nicely… so why am I
feeling so down? Over the next few months, I returned several times to
my family doctor complaining of tiredness and nausea. I felt like I was
barely coping with my daily activities and life's pressures. My doctor
sent me for all the routine blood tests which were all normal. You can
have perfectly healthy blood even with cancer. Good to know. Even though
I was eating less, exercising, and limiting my calories, I felt like I
was gaining weight! That alone was depressing and made me doubt my other symptoms - was I becoming overwhelmed with my motherly duties? Was I lazy? Depressed?

I'll share a secret. My DH and I were hoping
to conceive and each month my baby hopes were inspired and encouraged by
terrible nausea, morning sickness, and fatigue, and missed periods. I
will also confide that I spent a fortune on home pregnancy tests and and
all but one were negative. To make a long story short, our baby hopes - (
the sacrificed baby?) - may have saved my life! Over a period of 3-4
months, peaking in June, my symptoms worsened. My tummy became
uncomfortable, bloated, and round. Three weeks ago, I panicked and
called the women's clinic and took the next available appointment with a
gynecologist on the following Sunday morning. On Sunday, July 22nd, I
had an ultrasound and what he saw there was enough for the ob/gyn to send me directly to the emergency room. At the
hospital, I was seen by an expert ultrasound doctor and referred to CT.
The CT confirmed disaster. Masses on both ovaries, larger than grapefruits (why are tumors always compared to fruit???) that had spread
throughout my abdomen and possibly into my liver! I was hospitalized
overnight.

Before being released from the hospital the next morning, I was seen by a
surgeon and a doctor who told me my only option was to have exploratory
surgery to see up close what the full situation was. They booked me in
for surgery in two weeks time - August 8th. In the meantime, my dad did
the research. He consulted with the top surgeons and physicians in
oncology and found Professor Uziel Beller, a world renowned gynecology
and oncology surgeon at Shaare Zedek hospital in Israel's capital, Jerusalem. The next day, my DH and I ran to Professor Beller and pleaded
that he take my case. He was on his way to surgery and said, "I'm
terribly sorry that you'll have to wait 2 hours while I'm in surgery but
if you're willing to wait, I'll give you my full attention then…" What a
relief! He went over my medical papers and arranged an operating room
in two days time!!! He agreed to operate on his day off! We hired him
privately. I went home for one night and came back the next night for
pre-op.

On Thursday morning, July 26th, Professor Uzi Beller and his team
removed all of the tumors. At first, Professor Beller wasn't able to
confirm anything about the "mass" in the back of my liver. He said that
he felt it and it felt soft but without seeing it, he couldn't confirm.
When he came out of surgery, my family received the glum news. My poor
DH and father! About 20 minutes later, the professor was able to confirm
that the 3 liver findings are all hemangiomas - benign clusters of blood
vessels. Praise G-d!

So there you have it. I had cancer. I'm 36. I was the poster girl for
good health… and yet I, Erika, mother of 5 young children, am going to
experience 6 months of chemotherapy and all the trimmings. I've joined a
new club that NO ONE wants to be a member of - the Cancer Club, and I
have to say… right now, I'm at the absolute highest peak of love and
enthusiasm for life! I am overjoyed to be here. I'm scared and worried
about the future and yet, I have never felt more loved, embraced, and
optimistic! I'm more in love with my DH than ever before. I feel more
love and joy for my family and friends… and I have discovered that
cancer makes the heart grow fonder.

Hi, Im a mother also and have been dealing with breast cancer for 11 yrs. Four recurrences since first dx at age of 33 in 2001. now stage IV but still following the Lord. I read your husband's blog. Love it. Im American and a Christian. i also have a www.Godhasgotitalways.blogspot.com. Anyway, we have a common bond. This road is difficult. Particularly so with children. Mine are a bit older now, but i just want to encourage you, all things are possible , as I am sure you well know. I pray you stay healthy through your treatment, and kick cancer's behind! I will keep up with your blog if that's ok.Stay strong, Joann

Hey cancer sister! ( god that sounds awful) I wrote a comment b4 but it disappeared mysteriously. I'm a 38 yr old mum of 4, & went through the same thing just last summer, stage 3, breast in my case. Im also in Israel, Jsem. Last year we couldnt do anything for the summer, so this year we let rip - just back from a GREAT trip up north! Hang in there, it does get better, but first there's a deep valley of chemo to cross - no fun! Hope that you're one of those with few side effects - those people do exist :-) :-) If you wanna talk or write: oritaron@gmail.com

Heard about your diagnosis from Tikun Olam, whose blog i follow. I was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer (stage one) last November. While it was the scariest time of my life, and continues to be a struggle, i completely relate to this post. Cancer has made me so in love with my life, my friends, my family... I even started running recently, which is something i never thought I'd do! Good luck on your journey, I'll keep you in my prayers.