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Sunday, March 08, 2015

Chronicles Of HOPE - 12

H.O.P.E is not lost.......

FORGIVENESS IS POSSIBLE....

''Hi Stella, kindly feature this on your chronicles of hope, its a brief life story of my mum and how childlessness almost made her life a living hell...I sought her permission to share it with blog visitors and I pray someone finds hope in this.

This story might seem so long but please find time to read...

My mum got married at the age of 18 just after school cert...(actually her bride price was paid at 17 but she officially started living with her husband at 18). When she got married she was so naive, there where no tests of any sort, she actually married her first suitor. She said said she got married so early because she felt people from her family are fat and she wanted to get married then because she was slim so that she when she eventually starts getting fat she would have been in her husband's house..*what an excuse to get married*

Anyways after her marriage, her husband halted all her plans of going to school and asked her to focus on having a baby because that was the sole purpose of marriage, she waited for 2years when the kids where not forth coming, she pleaded with him to sponsor her back to school which he refused, then with the help of Friends, she sought a teacher training college that addmited few students via free education and applied.... when she was admitted, she told her husband about it and begged that he buys her few text books and notes he refused, while all these where going on, she never told her family, it was a day before she was meant to resume schooling, her husband came into her room and tried to force himself on her,telling her that having kids was her primary purpose and not the school she was preparing for...when she refused he flogged her mercilessly with a belt, then the next morning she ran back to her parents house, her parents gave her money for her books and upkeep then sent her back to her husband and asked her to go and settle with him...Lol.

Do you know that even when she was in school, he will still come and visit her and force himself on her, in the house her parents rented for her, he didn't even support her with a kobo.
It was in school that she meet a couple of girls and they advised her to go for a test with her husband so that the doctor will check if they had fertility problems...after much pleading he agreed to go, and when it was time to collect the results he went and collected the results by himself and interpreted it to his wife in the way that pleased him...

Fast forward after some years, he married an illiterate pregnant house help and told my mum he was the one that impregnated her, mum said during that time, she was busy trying to find herself since she didn't have kids, she finished TTC and got a teaching job while her co-wife was busy having kids.. he made her busy with buying food stuff for the house since she couldn't have kids, he felt it right she should use her money and provide food while the second wife will be having the babies.

It was later that she came across the test results..*mum can document for Africa*..then she took it to a doctor friend of hers who explained that the owner of the male test result was impotent and couldn't get a woman pregnant, she confronted her husband with it and even threatened to take the case to his kings men..*She was from same village with her husband*

Do you know that after they had that quarrel, one day mum came back from her school farm on Saturday and this man locked her out and changed the locks...that was how he chased her out of his house, she didn't leave with a pin, all her clothes and books and everything was in his house, he locked her out and traveled, mum went back to stay with her parents...*there was no phone then*.. so she had to take transport from the village to abakiliki where she stays with her husband to check if he had come back..when he returned she begged and begged for him to at least release her properties for her but he refused, he only managed to give her school certificates.

Do you know that the shameless second wife will wear mum's cloth and gold jewelries that her parents bought for her and come for August meeting?.

Anyway, Mum started her life Afresh, met an amazing man and they had me, then she went ahead to ask for divorce and pay back her bride price, her husband agreed to accept the bride price on the condition that he takes custody of me, because during the period of pregnancy and child birth, she was still his wife. Even though her marriage with my late father never pulled through, I can state in countless ways how this man made her life a living hell.

It all ended in praise, mum said she agreed to separate with the father of her kids on a mutual base, the stupid custom couldn't let them get married ...*my dad is from another tribe which made everything more difficult* but he gave her the greatest gift ...my brother and I

Believe me when I say we are doing 100 times better than the man's battalions ...

The latest we heard of him was that his wife abandoned him in the village when he retired and relocated to the village.. his 7 sons even beat him up recently and told him to his face that he was not their father.

He wants reconciliation now, but its been over 25years they've been separated...plus we've grown up so big *i am 22 my brother is 18* at this age we don't need to be daddied. The harm he did is already enough..I spoke to him on phone yesterday and he broke down in tears..

My Name is CHINAZAEKPELE-God answers prayers and my Brother's name is CHIMSIMDI-God said I'll live.

*I can go on and on how this man made life hell for mum and us, but for the sake of mum we have decided to forgive him, he needs JESUS IN HIS LIFE*

I forgive him from the depths of my heart because i am not God''.

There are some parts of this story i do not understand but its all good cos it ended in praise..so is your mum and her husband back together now?

Forgiving someone who hurt you is the best gift you can ever give yourself......I know this!

When you listen to GW and then listen to these 2 ladies; ezewanyi and linda eze, it's quite glaring how stupid the latter are..I'm lost for words when I think of the poor children under your care, the husband that has to endure you both. It's incredibly sad.

Her mum's 1st and only marriage didn't work. During d course of separation, her mum met her own biological father. She only had kids for him but they cant marry cos d 1st man didn't gv her divorce. Since they re not divorced, under their cultural law, all the kids she had for another man becomes her husband's. That's all

In fact I wish to know how the man confronted the new wife that supposedly got pregnant for him, after knowing that he's impotent. Perhaps he's aware, both of them may have planned it that she meets with another man to get her pregnant, while he fathers them to fool the world. Well, to fool himself. Na wa oo

I really don't get this story.You real dad is late but because your mum had you and Bro while she Was still traditionally Married to her 1st husband that makes you and your Brother his?I really got confused, was it the impotent man that got beat up by his 7 sons?

Kindly re-read the whole story again. In igbo custom, it is tradition, that in times of separation between a man and a woman, whose bride price have been duly paid, a man is entitled to claim any child his wife has during the period of separation, if and only if the bride price he paid on the woman's head, has not been returned. So traditionally, he has every 'right' to claim the poster and her brother.

Going by the medical report, it is possible that the man did not father the children from the other woman, reason why they told him that he is not their father when they were beating the man up i.e according to the poster.

@ poster, the man is not your father, please you do not owe him anything. All you need to do is to forgive him for trouble he put your mother over the years, and concentrate on your mom while working towards a brighter future with your brother. You guys need to observe things from a distance, if he genuinely wants the whole family reunited, all fine and good, but just be careful, the human heart is wicked.

THELMA ENEMUWE said...Your mum is a strong woman for real buh she sud not go back to the heartless man who fathered bastard children...imagine an impotent man making life miserable for his wife and sending her packing witot a second glance!!!!Now the tide is turned and he wanna have his cake back after eating it up...Goodbye 2 trash jawe!!! *faithful BV enemuwe thelma*

THELMA ENEMUWE said...Your mum is a strong woman for real buh she sud not go back to the heartless man who fathered bastard children...imagine an impotent man making life miserable for his wife and sending her packing witot a second glance!!!!Now the tide is turned and he wanna have his cake back after eating it up...Goodbye 2 trash jawe!!! *faithful BV enemuwe thelma*

I don't get ur point abeg,too many contradicting lines...why would a man who paid her bride price force himself on her again,then they returned bride price yet ur father blablabla..who come be Ure papa now?someone will just take her time and read long story and still have a confused face at the end..,nawaaooo o .....but congrats on ur fairy tale ending..,,lol.....Stella u must enjoy me

In some parts of Ibo land,once you are still married (in this case traditionally) any child you have with another man other than your estranged husband is legally your husband's since there was no divorce.

Apparently,her mom never married the father of her two kids..He is dead now.

... the forgiveness she's talking about is for her mom's estranged hubby..he wants a relationship with them.His 7sons are arguably not his.. and they taunt him with that fact.Pheeewwww

Madam poster...If u are from igbo land,ur father is d first man dat married ur mom..As long as d bride price wasnt returned,u both belong to him..What even ur business with d way ur dat treated ur mom? Its their mareiage and not urs..Find ur own husband and marry first before judging ur mom's marriage..See how u painted everything as if ur mom is a saint..There are two sides to a coin..Go siddon jare..I hate when kids interfer in their parents marriage..U werent there when everything happend..U heard ur mom's side of d story...Nonsense..She even cheated on ur father by having kids outside while still married...If u like forgive ur father..If u no like,siddon there dey talk bullshit..mtcheeeew!

You are a very Stupid and bitter woman. It is your type that gives people poison. Illiterate twerp, where in her cronicle did she interfere in her mother's marriage, Onuku, so nwa ama elo ezi elo ebe Nne ya no?. No if it is your mother, you will be looking like a Moron abi. Be forming Tigress online, one day e go clear for your eyes.

When I read your comments in the past narratives, I just laugh through them but am sorry your comment now isn't wise atall. Says a lot about you n ur marriage in 1 word. I keep d word to myself but you need TLC.

poster thank God everything ended well and that God made your mum to know what the fertility test read. most women are going through the same situation; thinking that they are the cause of not being able to bear children; not knowing that its their husbands fault.men can be secretive if they are the ones with the fertility issue.women pls always go the hospital with your husband in this kind of situation in order to avoid pumping in drugs when nothing is wrong with you

I'm happy your mum had d courage to even allow a new man which happens to b ur dad Cos I can tell u some women suffered same nd never had a child.....morals of this story ; if you're in a childless marriage pls play away match # u re free to cuss me out# a childless woman is as good as dead.

You have been commenting on every post. If u can even buy minerals and malt and put in the fridge, neighbours will buy and you will raise money for slippers and purse! Don't make the real givers on this blog to run away because the bombardment for even the tiniest things have become too much. Somebody does not have soap and cream, they'll turn to sdk, you don't have this and that, sdk. Please do not take this forum for granted

I don't see how this should be a chronicle of hope. For me this is a story about someone harbouring a grudge and then getting an opportunity to see the abuser having his karma. Forgive and move on...don't sit and wait to see another suffer...to feel your God has avenged for you.

We've read this story on here before I even wanted to send perfume to ur mum but didn't get a reply . U also said at the time that ur mum fell in the gutter if I'm not mistaken also has a land or some property can't really remember the full details . Anyway God bless ur mum she's a superwoman .may u and ur bro be a constant blessing to her ijn amen .

Ur mum started d deceit!!!She was not forthcoming with making of babies, instead she wanted to go to school....

About d man being impotent, that's a lie jhor.I wouldn't balme U because U are telling Us Ur mother's version.

...but Ur mum abandoned her marriage,....Did her husband agree to send her to school???She even said she wanted to married because she has Fat issues.... Marriage is all about sacrifices and Ur mama failed woefully.

We've read this story on here before I even wanted to send perfume to ur mum but didn't get a reply . U also said at the time that ur mum fell in the gutter if I'm not mistaken also has a land or some property can't really remember the full details . Anyway God bless ur mum she's a superwoman .may u and ur bro be a constant blessing to her ijn amen .

Poster its really nice u let go of what he did to ur mum because forgiving him is d best thing to do, an igbo proverb says "oye ji mmadu ji owe ya" meaning u are hulding ur self by holding some one else, like u said he really do need jesus, u and ur brother ar grown ups nw so don't let dat affect ur life in anyway instead start doing things that will bring back smile on ur mums face thank God everything ended in praise.

The author has forgiven a man whom made her mother's life miserable.The author has forgiven a man whom through traditional rites denied her the birthright of her biological father and a home. whereby her biological father could legally marry her mother.The author speaks and holds no malice to a man whom through tradition wants to be recognized as her father (though he isn't her biological father).The author has forgiven a man who wants to be their father being that her biological father is of late.

Hope you guys now understand when she talks about forgiveness she holds no malice to a man who made her mother's life miserable.

OK, some people say they don't understand the story, my biological father is late, he wanted to marry my mum,the whole stage of getting a divorce , was dramatic because during the period she had me, she was still very much married to her husband even though they where separated. Her husband gave her the condition of giving me up to him because according to custom we are his kids...And No am not so stupid to sit down and formulate stories...*to what gain abeg*

Yea he is impotent, the fact is no more hidden, he has come to us severally for us to beg mum on his behalf, he laments on how his other sons rub it in his face. They beat him up because he flogged the last son who went to their biological fathers house to spend his midterm beark without coming back to his house.

Madam Ezenwayi the all knowing, so my mum should have sat down at home and waited for the babies without going to school.....no that was not the plan, he promised my grandparents that she would further her education when he married her..

For those asking about my biological dad, he is late, he and mum agreed to separate since they couldn't get married. She wanted him to start a new life and have his own family. Mum gave me his address in 2014 to go look for him..on getting to his home town, I meet his wifeand some of his cousins who knew my mum, they where the ones who told me he was late.

Wow what a sad tale poster. So your parents decided to separate and your biological dad never cared to keep in touch with you and your brother? Even if they couldn't get married he's still your father and could have kept in touch... na wa for customs. Even to the point of him dying (rest his soul) no one alerted his children?? Ah I don't get it at all. Another thing is hope the people you met weren't lying that he's late in order to keep you away.. please check very well oo

Chizoba Ibuike or whatever you call yoursef.. na now I know say ur brain no dey function.. Forget what this post is about. how dear you talk to someone's mother in that manner. Do you even know them? do you think if everyone begins to state the real events and pain they must have gone through you can be patient enough to read it? You lack respectful.

My dear poster. Forget all this stupid ppl wey no get brain, they will never understand u. This type of thing will always happen in Anambra state, both old Anambra and new has same tradition, but thank God for today's children. Them don wise up. Some family will even marry wife to a mad man and another person will be giving the woman belle, she go de born on behalf of the mad person and the kids go de answer his name, its very common there. All this stupid tradition happen because they never regards women in this country and its high we the women stand up for our right, enough is enough. Meanwhile that good for nothing idiot without face that claim he/she knows my secrete and threaten to tell my story with concrete prove @ yesterday "chronicle for hope" pls am still waiting for u to expose it as u claimed and if u fail to expose it u are a bastard

For whatever it is worth its not worth the insults. Please show some respect for an elderly woman, a mother of a 22yrs old child is old enough to be your mother not forgetting the wasted yrs before having her kids.. What is hope for you might not be hope for another and goes all the way round... She has found happiness in fact that the man who maltreated her mother has come bke begging and having to deal with karma, no matter how much she write it can never be enough to express all what they might have gone through. I think the happiness she finds at last is what matters. if you want to appreciate what God has done for them pls do and pass, its not a must to post a comment.

Sorry but in Igbo land a woman that does not want can not divorce her husband and carry her children? The man that is your father could not sue for custody? No court will give some man custody of your child because of one tradition. Anyway, Naija women continue to swallow these traditions tailored to a man only.

Am not surprised at chizoba and ezenwanyi.....mannerless women with obviously no home training......all they do is come here to tell lies....a stupid woman mourning an ex she claims to have left while claiming to be happily married.....bloody liar ur arse was dumped.....I won't be surprised if it was cos of your ur cultured behavior and no finesse manner of talking....wonder how your horseband copes with you....as for you ezenwanyi or whatever u call yourself.....you don't deserve a waste of my data.......