My path to reconciling Catholic faith and homosexuality

While reading The Patriot-News opinion page on June 30 with an editorial and cartoon on gay marriage, I literally felt the "wind go out of my sails" on this journey I'm making through life.

You see, I grew up a Catholic, one of nine children, the oldest actually. My husband and I have been married for 40 years and yep, you guessed it, it hasn't always been easy, but with the love and support of family and good friends we've managed to raise four terrific children, three sons and one daughter and now have sic beautiful grandchildren.
It’s all been pretty amazing, and our love grows deeper and more meaningful with each passing year.

I’ve worked and volunteered on behalf of my church, teaching religious education, conducting and assisting on retreats for Catholic teens. I’ve taught in Catholic grade schools, my husband and I have guided young couples on their path to marriage and I’ve been a lector and parish council member, logging thousands of hours on behalf of my faith and my church. You see I have always loved my church, and my faith is a huge part of who I am.

It breaks my heart in a way that cannot be repaired to continue to see the leadership of our Catholic Church and many other traditional churches deny gay people the dignity and respect that I believe in my heart Jesus would give them unconditionally.

You know how they say “the straw that broke the camel’s back.” I think this straw has broken my back and also my spirit.

Everything I believe about the teachings of Jesus and the way he wanted us to treat people seems a complete contradiction to what I hear the Catholic Church leadership say about gay people.

It’s certainly not what I feel most Catholics believe or support. I guess this is where faith and religion meet a “fork in the road” and choices must be made, and I already believe “they will make the difference” at least for this believer.

Jesus showed us over and over the difference between “the letter of the law” and “the spirit of the law.” He called the Pharisees “whitened sepulchers.” He told us “I give you a new commandment that you love one another as I have loved you.”

He openly and honestly loved Samaritans, lepers, women, tax collectors and all the marginalized people of his time. There are thousands of straight couples who couldn’t even come close to the love, commitment and faithfulness lived every day by many of the gay couples my husband and I have known.

The reason those newspaper pieces bothered me so much and why I just couldn’t keep silent anymore is because through our years as a married couple we have had the support and example of several committed and loving gay couples in our lives who have served as role models for us.

These couples have taught us about loving selflessly, about being a good and caring parent, about sharing their talents and gifts in service to their communities and finally they have showed us how to be faithful and committed companions with the person you love on life’s journey.

My best friend from college and the maid of honor in our wedding 40 years ago is a gay woman committed to her partner for more than 25 years and currently helping the person she loves battle cancer.

My brother and his partner have been committed lovingly to each other for almost 30 years and have been a constant support and example to everyone in our family and in their community. They are two of the most caring and selfless men I have ever known.

This past spring they were asked by our daughter and her husband to be the godfathers for their little girl and they proudly accepted.

The Lutheran Church where she was baptized welcomed them with open arms. This for me represents the true Christian love that Christ spoke of so many centuries ago and to me an example of how all churches and religious institutions should treat all people.

Those who condemn gays out of fear and ignorance haven’t known or loved gay people on their life journey and yet they make judgments without true knowledge, and don’t allow themselves to love as Jesus would have all of us love our fellow human beings.

As a society we deprive ourselves in a way that cannot be measured when we refuse to accept and honor the gifts, talents and potential for good in every single citizen.
Every person is a child of God and every person whether gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual or transgendered has a meaningful and world-enriching purpose in the plan of God.