confused and not afraid to admit it

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My daughter is 9 and has been ADD since she drew her first breath...my husband now has decided we need to give the medications a try...her social skills or lack there of, is affecting her self esteem....when does the heart hurt stop....what's the best medications....her Pediatrician has started her on Concerta....how long does it take to see any results??? Any advice, help or merely ((((hugs))) welcomed.....

Hi loocymae. Welcome to our board. Might I suggest you fill out your profile so we know a little more about you and your family (only if you feel comfortable, of course..)

Although many of the kids of members in this forum are ADD/ADHD, I'm not sure this is the right forum for you. Most of us are working through drug abuse issues with our children. That's not to say you aren't welcome here (you most certainly are), but you might find that the discussion topics are more pertinent and helpful to you in another forum.

As for me, I'll pass on my own ADD war stories. If your daughter truly has ADD, I wouldn't wait to start trying the medications. They made a world of difference to my son - and to me. The trick is twofold, though: finding the right medications, and finding the right treatment. Many people find that the medications they can take are limited. I, for one, cannot take Adderall without risking a murderous rampage. However, I'm fine on normal Ritalin and Focalin. Others swear by Concerta, Stratera, or other medications.

What I'm trying to say is that at the beginning, it is critically important that you work with a doctor who is qualified to diagnose and treat ADD, someone familiar with the various reactions (good and bad) to the medications, who can help you keep a close eye on your daughter when you first start out.

Don't be surprised if you have to try several different medications, at various doses, before you get something that works. And also, don't be surprised if her behavior gets worse during those times. Once we found medications that worked for us, my son had to get used to feeling "normal" (he didn't know what that was like, and thought something was wrong - but that's another story). So, while I hope it's smoother for you, be sure to find a good doctor - and be prepared for a bit of a roller coaster ride.

Second, don't buy into the "drugs will fix everything" mindset. In many ways, ADD has the same affect as drug use - it stunts the emotional development of the person. While drugs may make things better, don't rule out the fact that some counselling and other therapy may be needed. A lot of ADD kids, when they finally get on the right medications, need help catching up on the skills they never learned (or learned wrong). Again, a good doctor helping you through this period is invaluable. If you don't have one, there are several places you can look for references. Check your school nurse or guidance counsellors. There are also support groups for parents of ADD kids at schools, churches, maybe even the local YMCA. Ask around, and get a good recommendation.

Sorry for the long post, but I know what it's like to be at the beginning of this journey. Take heart - ADD, at least, is something that can be managed with the right help and a lot of patience.

I wish you the best of luck with your daughter. Feel free to hang around here if you wish, but do take some time to look at a few of the other boards as well.

My daughter also diagnosed with ADHD, we went thru a myriad of medications, non of which seemed to make one bit of difference. We did see some improvement though, when she started anti-depressants, at a much older age.
I don't think they ever get over being different or in special classes. It just makes them feel dumb. I think the schools need to teach these kids the way they need to be taught. Read some books by Harold Levinson MD,he actually diagnosed my difficult child who also was Dyslexic and I recommend you check for that as well as ADHD symptoms can come up in a Dyslexic child too.

You have try the medications, see if they work and which combination works best. It's a long road and many medication changes. If it works eventually, then great! Some kids find benefit in these medications. If not, then at some point you will have to decide if there is another way for difficult child to be taught and then go seek that out. These are very smart kids!

There are three "OMG" books on ADD that I always recommend: "Driven to Distraction", "Answers to Distraction", and "Delivered from Distraction".

One of the authors is either a psychiatric or MD who has ADD, and now specializes in it. The first book explains ADD from the "inside out", and when I was reading it I thought "this guy must have been looking over my shoulder my entire life". The second book is something of a workbook to help with coping/living with ADD. I haven't read the third book, but my wife has and she says it's the best of the three.

To better understand ADD, and learn something about how it's treated, how to live with it, develop coping mechanisms, and how to live with an ADD sufferer without going bonkers, I highly recommend all three books.

Just stopping in to say Hi. I have no ADD experience, but I think we all experience the heart hurt of seeing our kids struggle, since we know it will be a lifelong journey for most if not all of them. It is heartbreaking still to hear my kid say in frustration "I'm so stupid", when he's stuggling with his English homework, to put into descriptive words answers to a short story they've read when he just doesn't think that way. I don't know if you ever totally get over it, though I think you come to some acceptance of it is what it is and work on making things easier and better for them. It's hard to give up one vision of the easy life we wanted for our kids to have to deal with the harsh reality.

Good luck with the medications, hope you get the right one that works. And welcome to a wonderful site.