The Semi-Regular

All you need to know, Semi-Regularly...

Friday, April 01, 2005

Drudge Can't Wait for Pope to Die

Drudge was reporting earlier today that the Pope had bit the dust, but then heard that "ITALY'S SKY ITALIA QUOTING VATICAN SOURCES SAYS POPE'S BRAIN, HEART STILL FUNCTIONING... "(caps his) and then offered this time-honored journalist's excuse: "Italian media gave contradictory reports about Pope John Paul's vital signs on Friday, first saying his heart and brain activity had stopped and then reporting this was not true... Developing..."

Ok. Settle down Drudge. I guess they didn't teach you anything about independent confirmation of news from legitimate sources at fake-journalism school. Yes Matt, you have to wait patiently for the Pope to die, just like everyone else does. No one likes to be scooped on April Fools Day. Just be thankful that you'll soon be able to reuse that initial graphic and headline you had up earlier.

Why Biometrics Sucks

Well, it was bound to happen...

The BBC reports that a machete wielding Malaysian gang jacked local rich guy K. Kumaran's Mercedes S-Class. Too bad for Kumaran, he thought having a biometric fingerprint recognition-based ignition system would be pretty slick. So the carjackers stripped him down and chopped off his index finger. We're not sure, however, how long that's gonna last on a keychain in that Kuala Lumpur humidity..

Al Reynolds's Pain Continues...

...like a rented mule...

The Post reports that Al Reynolds showed up for Alan Cummings's erotica reading (do with that what you will) and made a beeline for the giftbags. The Post sez: "We can only imagine what the newlyweds did when he got home with his swag, which included a pair of furry handcuffs, a whip and a bottle of Svedka vodka."

We can...and it involved Al getting piss drunk, handcuffing Star to the bedpost and flogging that bitch silly for making him marry her.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Terri's Still Got a Lot to Say...

Well, it's been, what, almost 2 weeks since they removed her feeding tube? But Terri's keeping busy, sharing her most intimate thoughts and keen insights on her very own blog!

We think the statement she released this past Sunday was perhaps her most profound, yet controversial that she's made to date. While we can see the point she's making, we tend to agree more with her earlier comments from the previous Friday.