The Best And Worst James Bond Innuendos Through The Years

In the age of gritty, realistic Daniel Craig-fueled James Bond films, it’s easy to forget the days when Bonds past killed us with absurdly literal innuendos. Some of us are fanatical aficionados of the rebooted Craig era—by that I mean “Casino Royale” was a masterpiece but “Quantum of Solace”, a heinous letdown. At the end of “Casino Royale”, after Bond’s heartbreaking betrayal at the hands of his lover Vesper Lynd, I was waiting to see how Craig would retool his persona in the next chapter. So naturally, “Skyfall” will be my redemption.

We hear that “Skyfall” will also be a tad campier than Craig’s previous two outings. On the eve of Bond’s impending zingers, here’s the best of the best: the painfully graphic one-liners that made us squirm and giggle all at once.

“I thought Christmas only comes once a year.”—Bond tosses this line at the buxom Dr. Christmas Jones while in bed with her.

“I have been known to keep my tip up.”—Bond spits out this gem during a fencing lesson with Madonna, after she says, “I see you handle your weapon well.”

“Well, tell him to pull out. Immediately!”—M says this after Moneypenny tells him Bond is on a “mission” in Austria. Obviously, he’s in bed with a woman.

“I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.”—Good old Q gives us this line, upon seeing a visual of Bond and Dr. Holly Goodhead (seriously?) going at it in bed.

“You always were a cunning linguist, James.”—Moneypenny, after Bond comments “I always enjoyed learning a new tongue” while in bed with his language tutor.

“Keeping the British end up, sir.”—Bond, in response to “What do you think you’re doing”, while in bed with Agent Anya Amasova. Well, what else is new.