Kids are okay, but have you ever wished you could treat them more like dogs? You can already walk them on leashes, so why CAN'T you implant them with a chip to identify them when they get lost? Because we live in a backwards world, that's why. Luckily, there's an invention out there that works like a chip would, only without all the Orwellian undertones.

Introducing the SafetyTat, a temporary tattoo that you can write your phone number on and adhere to your child's skin, as if to announce "Don't even think about adding this kid to your roving band of orphans, whoever you are. This kid has parents. Parents with phone numbers."

The idea for SafetyTats apparently came about when inventor Michele Welsh took her children to an amusement park and was worried about keeping track of them. She only has three kids, but it might as well have been 300 kids from the way she went on about it.

To stave her panic, she quickly wrote her mobile phone number on each of their arms with a ballpoint pen...Throughout the day of fun, Michele had to rewrite the number several times as it smeared or washed off. Several parents in the park stopped her to ask if that was her number on the kids' arms. Each time, they loved the idea.

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Hear that, mockers? Hear that, me? The parents LOVED it. It became the sensation that was gripping the nation, with parents writing phone numbers all over their kids arms, legs and faces. Which is why Welsh then got the enterprising idea to start selling extra sticky, identifying stickers (because — from what I can tell — they're more stickers than they are temporary tattoos) to parents who are too weak-willed to tattoo their kids for real.

Question: Do you think kids with their parents' phone numbers stuck on them will get made fun of the same way I got made fun of as a kid because my mom made me wear all of my important info in a pouch around my neck? Yes or yes?