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even my boss is a fuck boy.

A few months ago I’d made plans to visit my friend, Lauren, in LA for the weekend. She’s getting married and I missed some of the big events (picking out her dress, bridal shower) etc so I thought I should make it up to her. But by the time it rolled around, I was dreading going. I really just wanted to stay in Chicago to hang out with Nick and the cat.

I skipped work on Friday in order to fly to LA. Lauren was stuck in traffic (of course) so I had to kill some time while waiting for her to pick me up. Thank goodness for airport bars. I went and got sushi and a couple margaritas and made some new LA friends. I didn’t even have to pay for anything.

By the time Lauren came to get me, I’d had one drink too many and I had trouble finding the exit. It was ridiculous, even for me.

Lauren apologized when I got in the car and told me our plan for the day:

1. Go to the mall because she needed new shoes to go with her dress for the night.

2. Get vegan/gluten free burgers from her favorite place (“You can’t even tell it’s vegan!”)

3. Take a nap.

4. Get ready.

5. Go to a sushi place to pregame.

6. Go to the club where Lauren’s fiancé’s friend was DJing.

Spoiler alert: you could totally tell it was vegan. I requested to go to McDonald’s after we ate and Lauren lectured me the whole way there.

“This is just such bad energy, Reese. Such bad energy.”

Lauren is super spiritual now and into crystals, meditation, yoga, cards and weed. It’s an LA thing I guess. I can’t lie though, it became a bit much throughout the weekend.

The night turned out pretty tame except when we got back to Lauren’s, I locked myself in the her bathroom and drunk dialed Nick until he answered. It was 1:30 AM LA time, meaning it was 3:30 AM in Chicago.

Nick finally picked up after maybe the fourth try.

“Hello?” he answered, sounding adorably sleepy.

“Finally!” I said back.

“Sorry, I fell asleep on the couch watching House of Cards,” Nick said.

“Well, I’m glad you picked up. This is one of your tests and this was my last time trying to call you.”

He laughed. “I’m glad too then. How’s your trip?”

“Fine. Organic. Boring. What did you eat today?”

“Well, I grilled for dinner…”

“Grilled?” I exclaimed. “Like steak?”

“Yep, kabobs.”

I moaned then whispered, “My friend here is vegan so we had burgers made out of lentils. It was awful. So I had to settle for a chicken nugget happy meal.”

We chatted for a little while longer until Nick yawned audibly.

“Fine, go to sleep,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Well, I miss you. Get back here so you can try my kabob.”

I hung up.

The next day, Lauren and I went to another vegan restaurant, but this one was right on the beach and made for amazing Instagram and Snapchat photos so I didn’t mind. After that we went shopping again because Lauren needed more shoes to go with her outfit for the night. That’s why I always buy things when I see them because you just never know when an event will come up.

We were trying on shoes at Barneys when Lauren said, “Devin might be there tonight with his woman toy. You’re cool with that?”

“Excuse me?” I exclaimed.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “I know. They broke up for a while, but now she’s back. She’s a crazy psycho bitch, even more than you. No offense. She’s loaded though and wants to impress us all so drinks are always on her.”

I was not about to let Devin or his cougar sugar mama rain on my parade and I still planned on having a good time. So I put on a two piece set, hoop earrings and heels. Another DJ friend was playing in Hollywood so the plan was to get sushi and drinks, mingle then meet the boys at the club. I ended up running into a friend from high school at sushi and invited him and his friends out with us for the night. And then on our way out we ran into some of Lauren’s male friends, who all looked like grown up professional skate boarders. They decided to tag along too and that’s how our entourage came together.

We had a table and bottle service obviously and I ordered an extra bottle of rosé because why not? Lauren and I danced literally non stop for two hours until we met some (alleged) reality show boys and hung out with them for a little bit. I can’t remember which reality show they said they are on, but I took a ton of pictures just in case they get famous or something.

We ran into Devin and the girl on our way out. I knew the moment would come because that’s just how my life works. They were standing at the bar, fighting it looked like, and Devin did a double take when he noticed me.

We hugged and Devin reached in between us to grab my arm. Before I could even snatch my arm away like I wanted to, the girlfriend jumped in front of Devin, knocking a drink out of someone’s hand and all over my legs and feet. My natural reaction was to strangle her, but Mature Lauren stepped in and escorted us out. It all happened so fast.

“What the actual fuck?” I asked when we got outside.

“I told you she was crazy. Stuff like this happens every single time we go out.” Lauren pulled out her little rose gold vape pen that I discovered pretty early on contains cannibus oil. She offered it to me and I actually took it.

Ronnie’s phone called me about ten times after we’d left and I didn’t pick it up because I assumed it was Devin and I don’t know what he could possibly want. I found out my suspicion was correct when I got a voicemail from Devin saying, “Hey, why did you leave? And how long are you in LA for? If you’re around tomorrow night, you can come over.”

I was obviously super glad to get back to Chicago. I took an Uber straight from the airport to Nick’s apartment because I really, really wanted to see him.

I didn’t tell Scott about Nick because last time I told him about a date I went on he got really weird and quiet and it seemed kind of unnecessary. I decided I would just complain about being single and soak up the attention. We continued getting close and working on projects together and staying later than everyone else. He opened up about his fear of being alone in life and that got me wondering if that’s an actual possibility? Like, things with Nick don’t work out and things with the next guy don’t work out and I turn into a serial dater who continues getting dumped. Can you imagine?

And Scott talked about wanting his wife to move out, but not knowing how to go about it without hurting her feelings. Because he obviously still cares about her, just not in a romantic way. I actually felt bad for him.

The following weekend, I went to happy hour with Lexi and a couple of her friends and their boyfriends and we drank until we were dancing all around our table. We left at around 11:30 and Nick had already invited me over for a sleepover so I ran home, showered and packed the largest overnight bag with all my things.

We stayed up talking, drinking wine and eating chocolate ice cream. His phone rang a couple times and I finally glanced down at it to see who was calling. Someone named “Brittany.”

“Who is blowing up your phone at this time of night?” I asked.

“This girl I work with,” Nick explained. “We were all out tonight.”

“But why would she be calling you at 1:00 AM?” I wanted to know.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe to ask why I left?”

It seemed to me that Nick was telling the truth because he was pretty straight forward and didn’t seem nervous and weird like Brady always did when I confronted him about his questionable behavior.

And so then we went and had sex for an hour before passing out. Nick had something to do early in the morning, but let me stay and sleep. I eventually woke up because I felt someone staring at me. It literally woke me out of my sleep. It was the fucking cat, who was laying on Nick’s pillow next to me.

“What do you want?” I asked and she meowed like super loudly. I took that as my cue to take me ass home.

Nick said he would probably go out on Saturday night and would text me so we could meet up. I got dinner with Luke and drank too much and after a quick power nap at home, I was ready to meet up with my man. I’d seen on his Instagram story that he was out drinking a Moscow Mule at some bougie looking bar that I didn’t recognize.

I texted him, “Where are you?” and I fell asleep again while waiting for him to reply.

Two hours later, my phone woke me up.

Nick had finally responded, “I miss you.”

“No, you don’t. Where are you? I want to see you.”

Nick sent back some heart emojis. Like what the fuck? Just answer my question. I sent back three knife emojis.

Nick didn’t even open my message until 3:00 AM so I was distraught wondering what he’d been doing the whole time and why he wouldn’t tell me where he was.

The next morning, Nick sent me a picture of a brunch plate like nothing had even happened. Um, excuse me? Was Sunday brunch not our thing?

“Looks tasty. Thanks for the invite,” I said.

Literally two hours later, Nick sent back a single smiling emoji.

“What are you up to?” I asked.

Two hours later, “Drinking. :-)”

I assumed he was with a girl. Brittany, perhaps? They’d spent Saturday night together and continued their date into Sunday. I could just feel it. When Nick is with me, he’s hardly ever on his phone, but when we are apart he responds to texts freakishly fast. So the fact that he was taking forever to text me back was not normal. And who else would he be hanging out with? He tells me all about his friends, most of whom are married and have kids. Except the one bachelor friend who I knew was away for the weekend. It only makes sense that he was with another girl all weekend. And obviously I wasn’t happy about it.

So I ignored him the rest of Sunday night, not that he would have noticed because he didn’t really text me.

We were required to work a half day on Monday which was so stupid, but fine because I planned on getting really drunk on Monday night with Lexi and Luke and spending all of Tuesday being hungover and eating. No one was really working Monday morning as we all talked about what our July 4th plans were and eating the pizza Mike’s assistant ordered for us.

Scott had brought me a green tea that morning and since I was mad at Nick, I followed him into his office and made out with him until I was sure he came in his pants. So we spent the rest of the day working together while sexting. He even gave me a ten minute shoulder massage which was amazing.

I’d gone to get another slice of pizza and a Diet Coke and spent like ten minutes talking to a coworker in the kitchen. When I came out, I saw Scott walking past with his tiny cute little blonde wife. The wife he says he plans on divorcing this year. And she was about eleven months pregnant. WITH A FUCKING BABY. Neither of them saw me and I thought my pizza was going to come back up.

I didn’t even know what to do. Like, what? How was his wife pregnant with an actual human being and about to pop and I had no idea? Did anyone even know? How could he hide something so big? And he was going to ask his pregnant wife to move out?

I needed to leave after that so I went back to my office and powered down for the day. On my way out, Scott was standing in his office door with his hands in his pockets.

“Have a good Independence Day, Reese,” he said very formally. I just glared at him. The fucking nerve.

Nick texted me on Monday night inviting me over for dinner on Tuesday night. He said he’d be grilling. I waited three hours before responding, “Yes.” Because I actually did want to see him. And if nothing else, I could confront him about his weekend in person.

I spent the early part of the day with Kendra, John and the baby and it was so relaxing, but so boring. After a couple hours, I’ve had enough of the whole young family thing and I’m ready to go do my own thing/drink.

Nick and I met at Whole Foods at 7 PM so he could pick up some things he needed for dinner. I was still kind of standoffish and didn’t greet him with a hug or kiss or anything. So he started with some small talk. He revealed that he’d gone to a bar on Saturday night and come home and fallen asleep on the couch. And that actually seemed kind of likely so I felt a little bit bad and opened up a little bit more.

When we got to his place, Nick was very sweet and made sure I liked everything on the menu. We sat on the couch and drank sangria and he said something like, “I thought you were ignoring me for a little while.”

I just smiled and said, “Why would I do that?”

Dinner was phenomenal and afterwards we opened another bottle of wine and finished before he grabbed me to take me to the bed. We had sex and even after I pulled out all my tricks, it took him forever to come. And it never takes him forever to come. But at the time, I wasn’t worried about that at all. Nick set an early alarm because he had to work today and we fell asleep. I didn’t plan on sleeping over, but whatever.

I woke up before the alarm and just stared at the night stand next to me because for a moment, I couldn’t remember where I was. Then I realized I was at Nick’s house, in his bed. I noticed a water bottle on the night stand and smiled thinking Nick put it there for me. How sweet. He usually does that when we’ve stayed up late drinking. But then I realized it was half empty like someone had already been drinking from it. And it obviously wasn’t me. Or Nick because he keeps his own water bottle on his side of the bed. Strange. To me, that meant someone else had been there.

When Nick’s alarm finally went off, he turned to me and I just glared at him.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Fine,” I said, throwing the blanket off me and getting up to get dressed.

Nick watched me getting ready to leave and didn’t say anything. He could tell something was wrong, but didn’t know how to address it.

“I hope you have a nice day at work,” I said because my Uber was still seven minutes away and I guess I didn’t want to sit there being a mute.

As Nick was walking me out, he said, “Do you have everything? Your earrings and necklace?”

And I did, but why is it such a big deal if I accidentally leave some jewelry at his place? I have literally one million other pairs of earrings at my house. Unless he didn’t want his other girlfriend to come over and see evidence of me.

Am I jumping to conclusions? Like, I know I probably sound paranoid and crazy, but it all just sounds sketchy. I know the signs. Like I’ve been here before. I know the behaviors. And now I think I should just get out while I can.

Oh girl, it looks like you need to talk to Nick about this instead of playing games. You seem good for each other, and if you want to make this work, you need to communicate and stop expecting him to read your mind. You’re too good to be a side piece, so STOP HOOKING UP WITH SCOTT. He’s a sleaze bag with a pregnant wife. OFF LIMITS. Just talk to Nick about your concerns, and depending on his reaction, you’ll have your answer as to whether he’s fucking around. You are a remarkable woman and deserve someone who respects you. Don’t settle for bullshit.

Your boss is a total slime ball…to be messing around when you have pregnant wife at home is a whole other level of disgusting. You need to end that relationship asap. No good can come of it.
As for Nick I think you need to talk to him. Have you guys had the talk about only dating each other? If that is what you want than you need to let him know. If he worth anything he will be honest with you at that point.

I agree; time for vs DTR talk with Nick. You have never said that you two were exclusive, so see if that is what he wants. If he doesn’t went to be exclusive, then cut it off. You need a man who is into you and only you and is willing to admit it. Even if Nick hasn’t been seeing anyone else, lack of trust will ruin your relationship.

So you can kiss and fool around with your married boss but you’re upset that Nick isn’t texting you back fast enough? Don’t be a hypocrite. If you are allowed to do whatever you want, Nick should be allowed to also.

This times 1000. You have no problem hooking up with Scott but you’re pissed at Nick for going out and maybe hiking up with someone? You’re not his girlfriend and if memory serves correct you said nick can do what he wants. You can’t have it both ways. Seems like you’re replaying the same episode, only this time it’s nick not Brady.

I know it’s hard for you to resist the attention you get from Scott and I’m sure knowing that he finds you so irresistible makes it even more thrilling to you… however, you really need to put a stop to all this fooling around you’re doing, especially now that you know that his wife is pregnant. You could be ruining a family, and that’s got to be enough of a reason for you to stop. Even if she wasn’t pregnant, that still makes you a homewrecker, regardless of what he claims the status of their relationship is. It doesn’t justify you getting between a man and his wife! Don’t put yourself in a position where end up being the culprit of someone’s divorce. Plain and simple, he is using you, and you are worth more than that. If he truly thinks his marriage is over, he needs to take care of his business and end things with her before he even thinks of starting anything with you or anyone else. Even if the two of you aren’t having sex, you’ve still formed a physical, intimate, and emotional relationship of sorts with him. You need to put yourself into his wife’s shoes, and think about how much you’re hurting her by your actions. Scott may not be able to help himself… but you can. You are feeling hurt by Nick, thinking he’s involved with another girl. But even if he is, how does it make you any different when you’ve been fooling around with your boss this whole time? Is Nick your boyfriend? Have the two of you talked about boundaries or what the status of your relationship is? If that’s unclear, then you really should talk about it and find out where the two of you stand.

Are you guys exclusive? Have you had the talk?
And you are still hooking up with Scott, you said it yourself he could kiss whoever he wanted….
Girl! You need to make up your mind of what you want. You create this scenarios in your head that make you act out (i.e. Making out with Scott). Your relationship with Brady didn’t work out because of lack of communication, now you have a chance with nick, don’t blow it. You have to ask him if he’s hanging out with other girls, tell him you are a very jealous girl and don’t like to share.
And stay away from Scott! It’s the typical story cheaters tell the other woman “I don’t love my wife anymore, I wish we could divorce, we don’t even have sex anymore, I’m going to tell her soon…” It’s all bs! A man that really wants a divorce doesn’t talk about it to anyone else but his wife.

Okay, (1) You definitely need to say something to Nick. When a woman has this “feeling,” she’s usually right! There are subconscious things we pick up on. With that being said, you haven’t DTR so I think you should take this opportunity to confront the situation without being judgey or irrational. I think you and nick could be good but it’s also kind of worrisome if he can be so nonchalant about this shady behavior. I do think things could be like super good there, though.

And (2), Scott is a POS but reading this like, didn’t even phase me. I know so many guys who are like this not only when their wives are pregnant but ESPECIALLY when their wives are pregnant. You can’t beat yourself up over it (it would be easy to do but you didn’t know she was pregnant and believed him that he wanted to end things). However, now that you do know, combined with you wanting things to be real with Nick, you need to stand strong and completely cut ties. Even tell him you know!

Holy passive-aggressive, girl. Seriously. Learn how to have an actual conversation with someone instead of jumping to conclusions and acting out for no reason. And I’m not saying he didn’t hook up with someone, just that you have NO IDEA if he actually hooked up with someone. You are reacting and acting like this with zero proof. Sheesh.

Um how about you hooking up with your married boss and sexting him because you felt insecure? You talk a good game Reese. Too bad you don’t play by the rules but expect everyone else to. How do you feel knowing that you were, maybe still are, hooking up with a married man with a pregnant wife? you expect a lot but give nothing in return. It’s always someone else’s fault or someone doing you wrong. Look at yourself and stop making the same mistakes.

Honestly you don’t need nick. He needs someone who isn’t hypocritical and won’t put him through hell because of their insecurities. What he does isn’t your business especially since you’re clearly doing you? I don’t see why others think he’s shady when he’s not your man. If anything you’re shady and very hypocritical. You need to work on you, with your therapist so you don’t keep making the same mistakes over and over.

I guess that making out with your married coworker and giving pseudo-silent treatment to Nick, and then contemplating ending things before just having a conversation with him about your relationship counts as acting out a bit.

Same drama, different man, unfortunately. And there’s only one common denominator in both situations. If you like him – and is seems like really you do – why not just talk with him? Are you afraid he doesn’t feel the same way? The worst you could find out is that what you’ve already convinced yourself is happening actually is. The best thing would be that you are wrong, he isn’t seeing someone else and that you find out that you have severe trust issues and can work with a professional about that. That would be a GOOD thing.

Reese, I always root for you, but COME ON. Every time someone calls you out about Scott, you say that you’re not hooking up with him anymore. Then in the next post, you mention either flirting or making out with him again! What will it take to make this stop? If this revelation about his wife being pregnant doesn’t put an end to things, I don’t know what will.

I’m sad for you that this behaviour is what makes you feel better in moments of insecurity. It’s like if you feel you’re not “holding on” to a guy, the only thing that helps is stealing someone else’s. And while yes, Scott is also to blame, he’s the one who owes his wife something, it is his marriage, yada yada yada… it’s not even really about her. YOU owe it YOURSELF to be better than this. You are selling yourself short when you allow someone to put you in the position that Scott has.

Finally, if you think something is going on with Nick, why don’t you say something? Passive-aggressive behaviour and avoidance do not solve problems. Try not to lapse into the same bad habits you had with Brady. Make a change! We all want you to be happy!

his wife being pregnant is definitely enough to make me stop. I really believed him when he said their marriage was over, I’m sorry for being dumb and naive and vulnerable. the whole thing was so dumb and I feel like shit about it.

here’s the thing though. You can’t continue to always be naive and stupid. One instance is a mistake, two or more becomes habitual. This is the second married man you’ve been with.

With Zach it was the same thing. He “lied” about his marriage, you fell for it until you discovered the truth. Why didn’t you learn from that situation?

I don’t get the whole thing with Scott. Some posts you hate him, purposefully lead him on (like when you and Brady were together), bitch that he’s inappropriate, but then you encourage his actions and use him when you’re down. You never once felt obligated to do the right thing because it’s his job to do right by his wife. using that argument, none of Brady’s female friends owed you a damn thing either but you had no issues going after them. (Jessica, tia, the new girl at work he’s not interested in). You’re adamant about men being faithful to you but you aren’t faithful nor do you give 100% to anyone.

What would you do if Scott’s pregnant wife texted you, confronted you and threatened to expose you (not with pics like you did Jessica but with telling mike about your extracurricular behavior with her husband, your boss)? Karma is a bitch.

I wish I knew wtf is wrong with guys. Lately every guy that pursues me is already with someone. Why are they like this? I do feel what you’re going through because I know what those little nagging doubts feel like, and in all honesty I don’t even know if he would be honest if you ask him. Guys nowadays are shit. Sorry Reese 😦

Girl! Ok – I really hope you’re done with Scott now. His wife being pregnant HAS to put a serious damper on any ‘make out with him until he cums in his pants’ feelings. You shouldn’t have done it anyways – or gotten involved with him at all really – but hindsight 20-20. Not that I’m making excuses for it.
Please just talk to Nick. I don’t recall you ever posting that you guys talked about being exclusive, so if he’s sleeping with someone else there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. He should tell you up front about it though. Don’t play games with him tho – thats way unattractive. Just sit down and tell him upfront that you would like to be exclusive, and ask how he feels about that. Then go from there.
It seems like you’re so afraid to get hurt that you’ll do anything to avoid it, even if it’s detrimental to you! You gotta dig yourself out of this hole. Stop making the same mistakes. I know you can do it.
This is to the poster that said a man that wants a divorce will only talk to his wife – Wrong! I had a male coworker that I worked with for over 10 years. We got to know each other quite well of course. He always complained about his wife to me, but not in a ‘I want to get in your pants way’. He legitimately needed someone else to talk to about the difficulties in his marriage. BUT he didn’t use it in a sexual manner like Scott did. Scott just wanted a sympathy fuck relationship.

Damn; I don’t know where to start. Ok first; you have to talk to Nicholas. You can’t tell yourself that you want to be with him; and yet he is screwing other chicks. He needs to be made aware of what your thinking. Secondly; Scott and you need to be over. And I’m not just telling you this it’s more so for me too. It’s run its course. And I’m glad that your taking the high road. I think every person that comes into our lives whether good; bad; or indifferent teach us a little more about ourselves than we knew before. Am I wrong? By the way thanks for putting in the information about the Fig and Olive Restaurant. I looked at the site and I would love to go there and try it

I agree with Tia, she makes a good point. Each encounter and interaction can teach us alot about ourselves, and while its not always easy to do something different than we did last time, it can be very liberating and a great learning experience as well.