True story: If you go to your dictionary app right now and look up “gullible”, there’s a picture of a tech reporter.

The Macalope has railed against the ridiculous use of surveys since the dawn of time. Or, well, at least 2006. And somehow it never seems to stop. A new survey comes out and it doesn’t matter if it’s of 11 people, it’ll be used to predict Apple doom. And when the Macalope says 11 people, he mean exactly 11 people. Pretty soon we’re going to get down to a report noting that “Earl and Karl hanging out in front of the Tastee Freeze do not plan on buying an Apple Watch.”

The Macalope’s been blasting his anti-Watch diatribe zone pretty hard over the last few months and it’s really starting to show. He’s never looked more fit.

But his personal trainer and life coach, Esteban, recently suggested he’s been neglecting his logicus maximus. It lacks tone and groans at the slightest strain. Fortunately, it turns out there are opinion pieces about the Apple Watch that are negative without being completely jacktastic. Take this piece by Evan Niu at Money.

Before we begin, please extinguish all cigarettes and put your tray tables in their upright and locked position. Because you're going to want to jam that cigarette in your eye and hit your head against the tray table when you read the "modest" suggestion of the Wall Street Journal's Christopher Mims.