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Thank you. So our social worker advising us sisters that an adult child can be charged with neglect even when a parent is refusing help was correct:

Massachusetts:

Section 20. Any person, over eighteen, who, being possessed of sufficient means, unreasonably neglects or refuses to provide for the support and maintenance of his parent, whether father or mother, residing in the commonwealth, when such parent through misfortune and without fault of his own is destitute of means of sustenance and unable by reason of old age, infirmity or illness to support and maintain himself, shall be punished by a fine of not more than two hundred dollars or by imprisonment for not more than one year,or both.No such neglect or refusal shall be deemed unreasonable as to a child who shall not during his minority have been reasonably supported by such parent, if such parent was charged with the duty so to do, nor as to a child who, being one of two or more children, has made proper and reasonable contribution toward the support of such parent.

Thanks also to Lenora for coming up with the letter of the Law. This is something we all need to be aware of.

In our mother's case, we tried to get the local Elders at Risk program involved (which was when the social worker informed us of the above)....when our mother in her senility was a clear danger to herself and refused to communicate with any of us or accept help... but she was able to dress and feed herself as well as pay her own bills, etc. so we would not have won custody. In our case, it was not financial need our mother had, but care. She was so adamantly independent she chose to die spontaneously rather than accept interference in her life.

PS: Reading the punishment as outlined above, for the first time, a few hundred dollars as opposed to a year in jail seems rather unbalanced.

Interesting thread.....tried to rep Markg, BTW, but was told to spread it around! I worry sometimes, when I allow myself to go there, about what I will do once all my numerous millions (tongue firmly in cheek--lol) runs out. Although I pay high premiums for health insurance, my policy has so many exclusions that one serious illness will wipe out my savings. it's a very, very frightening prospect for me, as I cannot work due to health problems, yet am inelligible for SS Disability because of the way taxes were filed/income reported by my ex-husband. (all legal, BTW) Would my sons help me? Yes, I think they would. Are they able to do so? Tough question to answer. What parent wants to be a burden on their kids? I do not favor a law mandating support for parents unable to care for themselves, though, for any number of reasons---all of which have already been well stated by other posters on this thread. I would not want to be the law-enforcement person responsible for enforcing it, or the judge/prosecutor responsible for the penalty. I wonder just how often laws such as these are actually invoked? Has anyone had any experience from a professional standpoint with them? Just idle curiosity on my part, though.

I'm not sure if this fits under what is being discussed. I work on an inpatient psych unit and over the last 5 yrs there has been an increase in the "dumping" of an elderly parent and then the need for there to be some sort of intervention to get the family to take the family member back or find other housing. Sadly, there was one older lady who was just dropped off and the famly just drove away.

My paternal grandparents from Texas were dirt poor and had followed their kids to Michigan in the late 30's. Apparently they were receiving assistance from the state of Michigan until the mid 50's. They were not receiving much money because they lived in a small shack type of house but were surviving. My grandfater died in 1955 and my grandmother continued to live in the house until 1958. In 1958, the children (2 daughters & 2 sons) were hauled into court. The state cut off her funding and ordered her daughters to provide a home for her and her sons to pay $30.00 per month each for her support.

I was young and had no idea that my grandparents were receiving support from the state. Nor, do I have any idea why my grandmother's support was suspended. My mother always thought that one of her daughters contacted the authorities asking for more money and the attempt backfired.

My dad would have been more than happy to support his mother if asked. In fact, I think he bought that little house for them. So, having to appear in court came like a bolt out of the blue. My dad's brother left the state shortly after being ordered to pay and my dad picked up the slack and continued to pay both of their payments plus extras until her death at age 91 in 1966.

Thanks, Lenora. For those who couldn't access the link, it is easier to list the 20 states which do not have a statute than the 30 states which have one. Here are the 20 states plus the District of Columbia which do not have a "destitute parent" law:

I didn't realize the majority of states had these laws, and was surprised to learn that my own state (California) does have one, as I never hear anything about it. I have learned a lot on City-Data. (O.K., that was a straight line for someone - just say that given my starting point, I could hardly fail to learn a lot).

Thanks, Lenora. For those who couldn't access the link, it is easier to list the 20 states which do not have a statute than the 30 states which have one. Here are the 20 states plus the District of Columbia which do not have a "destitute parent" law:

I didn't realize the majority of states had these laws, and was surprised to learn that my own state (California) does have one, as I never hear anything about it. I have learned a lot on City-Data. (O.K., that was a straight line for someone - just say that given my starting point, I could hardly fail to learn a lot).

Actually, I was more apt to say sumpin 'bout them folk frum the left coast!

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