This Billionaire Wants To Produce A Sequel To 'In The Army Now' For Some Reason

Andy Dick not only possesses box-office draw, but also the hearts and minds of America.

Alki David. Remember that name. He's going to be on Mt. Rushmore one day.

You don't know him yet, but the billionaire is hatching a plan that will put America back in most-favored-nation status. His new life's work: hatching a sequel to In the Army Now, the 1994 Pauly Shore movie that you found mildly amusing when you were too dumb to know the difference between good things and bad things.

It's even got a title. In the Army Again. You know, because he's a back in the army again.

Without doing any research, I can say with absolute certainty that both Andy Dick and Shore are available at a moment's notice. Further, a treatment is in play, a script will follow, and there's already a press release, as evidenced by me talking about this thing.

The fact that it's raining as I type this is just a coincidence, right?