"I'm telling you, a woman wants a man to smell like a man!"
After his declaration, my friend set his glass firmly upon the bar, sloshing his beer, and I quickly sat back. Despite agreeing with his masculine-appropriate assertion I had no desire to smell like a brewery.
"And I'm telling you women have different needs –"
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!"
"- when it comes to how a guy smells. They want a guy who smells interesting, not like every guy they've ever known. Their dad. Their first love. Their ex-husband."
"What's your point?"
"Women notice everything, and they have a better sense of smell than we do. If you want to attract the woman of your dreams you've got to have all your bases covered, including your scent."
"And how does a guy smell interesting?"
"By making her think you're warm and sexy, inviting and promising seduction. Like you could cuddle her by the fire...or take her for a wild ride. Like you could be the kind of man she's been looking for all her life. I'll tell you, guys need to buy fragrance created by someone who understands what women want men to smell like."
Just then the bartender – who we both thought was a way sexier version of Angelina – came by, leaning over and fixing me with a bright grin.
"Hey, what are you wearing? I've been sniffing in your direction all night and that is sooo sexy!"
I also grinned. "It's a secret."
She playfully ran her fingers across my forearm. "Any chance I can get you to spill that secret?"
I wrote down my number on a napkin. "Give it your best shot sometime, hmm?"
She took the napkin and tucked in her cleavage. "You're on, mister!" She then poured me another round. "This one's on me."
My friend threw up his hands after she returned to her other customers. "What am I, invisible?!"
"You might as well be if you don't smell good."
"Okay genius, so tell me: who made the fragrance which apparently makes you irresistible?"
I leaned back in my chair, hands behind my head, trying not to look too smug.
"Funny you should ask...it's me."
I had a laugh at my friend's slack-jawed look of surprise. The last laugh, of course. Because it works every time...why do you think I dreamed it up in the first place?