What are church ladies complaining about these days? According to the American Library Association's list of "most challenged" books, 2009's top offenders were nude instant-messaging, sexy vampires, gay penguins, and Boo Radley. How literary!

The American Library Association has released its annual list of the books that were complained about the most in 2009, revealing a nation torn apart by internet slang abbreviations, chaste romance between immortal beings, nontraditional avian families, and, as usual, To Kill a Mockingbird and Catcher in the Rye.

Lauren Myracle's "AIM" series topped the list thanks to "nudity" [Ed. Note: What?] followed by And Tango Makes Three, a book about flightless sodomite arctic birds raising a child. Twilight, meanwhile came in at number five, below To Kill a Mockingbird, demonstrating that gentle, humanist anti-racism will always be more offensive to Americans than a vampire eating a baby out of a womb.