Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Sunny Days Ahead

Hey, Reader. Hi. I am procrastinating. I don't know why I struggle against the act of packing as much as I do. But I do. And I like where I'm going, but still I hate the packing part. So much so, that I've got nothing but time on my hands, and here it sits at minutes to midnight, with a seven a.m. flight and I still don't have one things in my suitcase. I have things on the bed, in neat little stacks, but it's not whittled down yet. I need to cull the herd of shirts. It's too many. I have three sets of pajamas. I don't know what I plan on doing exactly to warrant the need for three pair of pajamas, but I'll be ready just in case. When I'm a millionaire I'm going to have a professional packer. And a hairdresser. And a chef. So basically a lot of good people to do things for me, because I have other things I'd rather be doing. Like typing words that mean nothing. Or watching t.v.Or reading. Or kissing kitties. So yeah. I'll be gone for weeks and weeks. Don't try to rob me, Bad Guys. I've got people at the house, per usual, because eight cats. They demand live-in help. Because they're demanding that way. I'd like to say that I'm going on vacation, but it's not a vacation if you're not working, is it? Don't you go on vacation to get away from the stress of it all? I don't have the stress of it all at the moment, so it's just a trip. To warm and sunny weather, where I shall process the hell out of Vitamin D. I bought new lotion for myself on my trip and tried it out. I am silky soft and can't stop touching myself. On my arms, Reader. On my arms. Sheesh. Stay in touch, Reader. Maybe I'll bring ya back a crappy t-shirt.

Throw a surprise party - CHECK! Kenny's 40th, Linda's 60th, My moms way back in the day.

Publish a piece of fiction

Have an offshore bank account - tried to do this in Grand Caymen, it's tougher than getting married! Letters of reference, bank statements..they want a lot of stuff to float my 50large around down there.

Swim with dolpins - check

Drink Guinness in an Irish Pub

Drink wine under the Tuscan sun - check

Use a bidet - CHECK! Trip to Italy 2006ish?

Swim in tropical waters - check

See the sun rise and set over the ocean in the same day - CHECK! Florida. We watched the sun set on the one coast, drove across the state, got up in the morning and watched the sun rise of the east coast the next morning.

Go on a safari

Ride in a helicopter - CHECK! During my "married to a policeman" years, friends with the police chopper pilot, took a few spins over the glorious city of Cleveland.

Whitewater rafting - CHECK! Back in my younger/married/unwiser years, rafted in WV, the Gulley River was one of 'em. Lived to tell about it.

Skydive - CHECK! During married/unwiser/braver years. Three times, I did. I was brave, had to do it again, and again to prove it wasn't just hormones, but actual braveness.