Who has better beer: Baltimore vs San Francisco

Some people argue Ravens vs. 49ers. Others debate The Wire vs. Full House. We are going to settle this like men – with beer. Which city came out on top?

This is a tricky argument because taste is very subjective. You may love what I hate, and I may think you’re a complete moron who doesn’t deserve anything better than warm, flat Schlitz. Because of that, we are going to stick to the numbers. The criteria are as follows: number of breweries, average beer rating, highest rated brewery, and most popular brewery. Yes, I know that’s an even number, but I came up with the categories after the fact so I already know it isn’t a tie. And yes, before you bitch and moan, I’m aware that ratings, all of which came from BeerAdvocate, are also based on opinion. At least we have a larger sample size than just my alcohol-inhibited memory.

Number of Breweries: San Francisco edges out Baltimore nine to seven. If you include the surrounding area, the Niners crushed the Ravens 25-10.

Average Beer Rating: Baltimore gets the nod by a slim margin. 3.744 to 3.716. Sorry San Fran, but it’s a game of inches. Baltimore almost blew it thanks to “The Raven Special Lager” and its 3.4 rating.

Highest Rated Brewery: Pacific Brewing Laboratory takes home the title with a 4.1 rating. They only had one beer listed, but I didn’t write the rule book here. OK, yes I did, but Squid Ink black ale still turns the 3rd quarter for San Francisco.

Most Popular Brewery: Neither city boast a top 10 craft brewery by volume, but the fine folk of Anchor seal the victory for San Francisco. They are #22 in sales, which I was hoping would correlate to an awesome player, but it’s just cornerback Carlos Rogers.

So there you have it. San Francisco is officially the better beer city according to my 100% scientific method. Tough break Ray Lewis and company; you’ll always have deer antler velvet.