Pushing Envelope Of Parenting

It was for me just a dream to have a friend not from Israel, and my dream came true.

Please send me your photo so I'll put it in a frame near my bed. I'll be very happy to know what you are interested to learn about meLove, Avivit

The monthly letters to Eugenia and Harold Stecker, written by their 14-year-old "daughter" in Israel, are a constant presence in the couple's thoughts.

"I stay awake every night and think about her, talking to her in my head," says Eugenia Stecker. "Then I fall asleep."

And when Harold Stecker watches TV from the family room in the couple's Pembroke Pines apartment, it brings him great pride to glance over at Avivit's picture on the nearby stand.

"I see this beautiful girl smiling. And believe it or not, I actually smile back at her like she's here," he says, pausing to glance at the photograph.

Eugenia and Harold Stecker are proud new parents at the seasoned age of 82 and 90, respectively.

The New York natives -- who have been married nearly 50 years and have no children of their own -- have "adopted," or sponsored, Avivit, one of more than 300 children who live at the Neve Michael Children's Village in Pardess Hanna, Israel.

The institution, created in 1942, provides a safe haven to Israeli children ages 4 to 19 who are orphaned, abused or neglected.

"We'd adjusted to the fact [of not having children], and we have a wonderful life with each other," says Eugenia Stecker, a retired fashion coordinator and textiles studio owner.

"But the fact that we're responding so well to it [parenting] means that within us, love for a child was always there," she says. "Now it's being fulfilled."

The Steckers became unconventional parents by accident.

Harold Stecker, a retired coat manufacturer, wanted to do something memorable for his birthday in January.

So the pair decided to forgo an extravagant party in favor of a more intimate affair. Harold Stecker also wanted to donate money to charities benefiting the elderly and children.

About this time, the couple read a newspaper article about Pembroke Pines resident Jack Stromfeld, Neve Michael's Florida region director.

Initially, the couple planned only to send Stromfeld a donation for his organization. But after a chance meeting brought the trio together in April, they became "parents."

The timing of the event is a coincidence not lost on the couple.

"After all, Avivit means `spring,'" Harold Stecker says with a wink.

Neve Michael receives several inquiries each year from groups wanting to sponsor children, says Stromfeld, who has "adopted" four Israeli children with his wife, Charlotte. "But Florida has a lot of senior citizens who are really out there" in the forefront of social projects, Stromfeld says.

Parenting at any age can be exhausting work, says Harold Stecker, who underwent a successful angioplasty in September at Hollywood's Memorial Regional Hospital to repair two blocked arteries. But it also has its rewards.

"Other people are grandparents at our age," Harold Stecker says with a laugh. "But us? We've got a child."

Natasha Butler can be reached at nbutler@sun-sentinel.com or 954-385-7930.