How to Be Humble

"It's hard to be humble," says an old country song, "when you're perfect in every way." Of course, few people actually think they're perfect in every way. But it can still be pretty hard to be humble, especially if you live in a society that encourages competition and individuality.

Yet even in such a culture, humility remains an important virtue. Learning to be humble is of paramount importance in most spiritual traditions, and humility can help you develop more fully and enjoy richer relationships with others, as well as create opportunities and earn you respect.

Admit that you're not the best at everything -- or anything. No matter how talented you are, there is almost always somebody who can do something better than you. Look to those who are better and consider the potential for improvement. Nobody is the best at something.

Even if you are 'the best' in the world at doing one thing, there are always other things that you cannot do, and may never be able to do.

Recognizing your limitations does not mean abandoning your dreams, and it does not mean giving up on learning new things or improving your existing abilities. It simply means acknowledging that, as human beings, none of us are perfect and none of us can do everything by ourselves.

Recognize your own faults. We judge others because it's a lot easier than looking at ourselves. Unfortunately, it's also completely unproductive and, in many cases, harmful. Judging others causes strife in relationships, and it prevents new relationships from forming. Perhaps even worse, it prevents us from trying to improve ourselves. Everybody makes mistakes.

We make judgments about others all the time, usually without even realizing it. As a practical exercise, try to catch yourself in the act of judging another person or group of people, and whenever you do, judge yourself instead. Consider how you can improve yourself, instead of how you think others should act. After all, you cannot control other people's decisions and behaviors - but you can control yours.

Work to address your flaws. Remember that growth and improvement is a lifelong process that never stops happening, even when you're very skilled at something.

Be grateful for what you have. Suppose you graduate from an Ivy League university at the top of your class. You definitely deserve a lot of credit for the many hours of studying and for your perseverance. Consider though, that there is someone just as intelligent and hardworking as you who had less supportive parents, grew up in a different place, or just made one wrong choice in life. You could be in their position instead.

Always remember that with a bad choice yesterday, your whole life could be different today and, furthermore, that today could be the day your good choices change your life.

Though you have undoubtedly worked hard for what you have, you could not have done it all without other people's support. Everything we do is a result of what many other people have done to us. It is all because of the people around us that we get shaped and become better persons at some point so that we could achieve our goals.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Part of being humble is understanding that you will make mistakes. Understand this, and understand that everyone else makes mistakes, and you will have a heavy burden lifted off of you. However, this doesn't mean that you should be sloppy - try to avoid obvious mistakes, but don't be afraid to try new methods or ways of accomplishing your goals.

Each person can only experience a tiny sliver of life at a time. There will always be people who are older and wiser than you. Your elders' opinions could be worth listening to, although you must make the decision based on your knowledge of them.

Admit your mistakes. Although you may fear that people will be angry and frustrated with you, it is always better to admit than to cover it up. Whether you've made a mistake as a boss, parent, or friend, people will appreciate the fact that you're willing to admit that you're not perfect and that you're working to improve yourself and the situation. Admitting your mistakes shows that you're not stubborn, selfish, or unwilling to not look perfect.

Admitting your mistakes will make people respect you more, whether they are your own children or your coworkers.

Avoid bragging. It's okay to have a healthy self-esteem and to feel proud of your accomplishments, but nobody likes it when someone constantly tries to bring attention to themselves and their own achievements. If you feel like you really have done something great, chances are people will have already begun to notice that, and they will come to respect you even more for your humility.

This doesn't mean you should lie about achieving something; if someone asked if you ran a marathon then it's perfectly acceptable to say 'yes'. But don't constantly talk about how absolutely amazing you were for running the marathon, or achieving other goals.

Be considerate in conversations. Humble people don't have to be meek wallflowers - being humble doesn't mean not having any self-esteem. However, a humble person should be mindful of everyone in the conversation and shouldn't talk down or disrupt anyone. As a humble person, you should recognize that everyone, including you, has their own goals and dreams and they may want to talk about their achievements and their opinions on things.

Don't take all the credit. We are human beings and who we are now has a lot to do with other people's influence and guidance. Countless people have given you support and helped you to become the person you are so that you can achieve your dreams. It's totally fine to be proud about your achievements, but keep in mind that nobody ever does anything totally by themselves, and that as people, we are all helping each other to accomplish our goals.

Share the love. Recognize others who have helped you on your path to success.

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Part 1 Quiz

What's one good step to learning how to be humble?

Avoid making mistakes.

This isn't quite right. We all make mistakes, so you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You shouldn't be afraid of making mistakes, though you should try to avoid making obvious ones. It's important to try new methods toward meeting your goal. And when possible, listen to an elder's advice – they may impart some wisdom that can steer you in the right direction. Try another answer...

Recognize those who helped you along the way.

Absolutely! You worked hard to get where you are now, but you didn't do it alone. Giving credit to those who inspired you and cheered you on shows you're grateful for their support, and that you're humble. Read on for another quiz question.

Make sure people are aware of your achievements.

Not exactly. If you've achieved something amazing, it's likely people around you know about it. If you brag about yourself, it can be off-putting. You don't have to lie about the great things you've done, but avoid boasting. Can you find a better option?

Admit that you're the best at one thing, but not everything.

Close! You might be extremely talented in a field or at doing one thing, but chances are there's someone who's better – and that's okay! Accepting that you're human and not perfect is a better way to achieving a humble attitude. Try another answer...

Appreciate the talents and qualities of others. Challenge yourself to look at others and appreciate the things they can do and, more generally, to appreciate people for who they are. Understand that everybody is different and relish the chance you have to experience different people. You will still have your personal tastes, your likes and dislikes, but train yourself to separate your opinions from your fears and you will appreciate others more - you will be more humble as well.

Being able to appreciate the talents and qualities of other people can also make you recognize qualities that you want to improve or attain within yourself.

Stop comparing yourself to others. While competition can be healthy and stimulating, it's nearly impossible to be humble when we're constantly striving to be the "best" or trying to be better than others. Instead, try looking at yourself more. Remember, the ultimate goal isn't to be better than anyone else, it's to be better than the person you used to be. When you focus your energy on improving yourself instead of comparing you to everyone else, you'll find that it is much easier to make yourself better since you don't have to worry about whether or not you're better or worse than anyone.

Every individual is unique. Appreciate people for who they are as human beings, not for their skills and appearance in relation to yours.

Don't be afraid to defer to others' judgment. Although it is ultimately up to you to decide if you were right or wrong, it is a whole different thing to acknowledge that you make mistakes and that you're not always right. Somewhat more difficult however, is the ability to acknowledge that in many cases other people — even people who disagree with you — may be right. Deferring to your spouse's wishes, to a law you don't agree with, or even, sometimes, to your child's opinion takes your recognition of your limitations to a different level.

Instead of simply saying you are humble and as a person you will make mistakes, you should also concentrate on living with that mindset - being humble is a way of life, not a one-time action.

Seek guidance from written texts. This is another way of appreciating others. Contemplate moral texts and proverbs about humility. Pray for it, meditate on it, do whatever it takes to get your attention off yourself and your perception of your own worth (especially compared to others). You can read inspiring biographies, memoirs, the Bible, nonfiction and fiction on how to improve your life, or whatever it is that makes you be more humble and appreciate the insight that others have to offer.

If you're not into spirituality, consider the scientific method. Science requires humility. It requires that you let go of your preconceived notions and judgments and understand that you don't know as much as you think you do.

Remain teachable. Nobody is perfect or the best at anything. There will always be people who are better at you at something, and therein lies the opportunity to learn from them. Find people you aspire to be like in certain areas, and ask them to mentor you. Under mentorship; good boundary setting, confidentiality and discernment is required. As soon as you cross the line of being 'unteachable', bring yourself back down to earth again. Being teachable means that you admit that you always have more to learn about life.

You can be more humble by taking classes in something you know nothing about, such as pottery or screen writing, and knowing that you will let others teach you and show you the way. This can help you realize that everyone is good at different things and we all need to help each other in order to become better people.

Help others. A big part of being humble is respecting others, and part of respecting others is helping them. Treat other people as equals and help them because it is the right thing to do. It's been said that when you can help others who cannot possibly help you in return, you have learned humility. Helping people in need will also make you appreciate what you have even more.

It goes without saying: don't boast about the volunteering you've done. It's great if you're proud of your work, but remember: volunteering is not about you, it is about the people you have helped.

Go last. If you're always rushing to get things done first and get to the front of the line, challenge yourself to allow others to go before you - for example, elders, disabled people, children, or people in a hurry.

Ask yourself, "Do I really need to do this first so badly?" The answer will almost always be no.

Compliment others. Give someone you love, or even someone you barely know, a compliment. Tell your partner that he/she looks great today; compliment your co-worker's new hairdo, or tell the cashier at the grocery store that you like her earrings. Or you can go deeper, and compliment important aspects of people's personalities. Give at least one compliment a day and you will see that other people have so much to offer to the world.

Focus on the positive attributes of others instead of always looking for their flaws.

Apologize. If you've made a mistake, then confess and admit that you're wrong. Even though saying you're sorry to someone else is painful, you'll have to get over your pride and tell another person that you're sorry for the harm you've done. Eventually the pain will subside, replaced by a feeling of relief because you know that you have made amends. This will show the person that you value him or her greatly and that you acknowledge that you've made a mistake.

Make eye contact when you apologize to show that you really care.

Don't be a repeat offender. Apologizing about something does not give you a license to do it again. Doing so will make people distrusting of you and what you say.

Listen more than you talk. This is another great way of appreciating others more and being more humble. The next time you engage in a conversation, let the other person talk, don't interrupt, and ask questions to keep the person talking and sharing. Though you should contribute to the conversation, make a habit of letting others express themselves more than you do so you don't act like you're only concerned with the things that are going on in your life.

Ask questions to show that you understand what the person is talking about. Don't just wait for the person to stop talking so that you can start talking. Remember, if you're busy thinking about what you want to say, then you'll have a harder time focusing on what they are saying.

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Part 2 Quiz

How can you show your appreciation of those in your life?

By saying "I'm sorry."

Great answer, but keep looking! Everyone makes mistakes, and it can be difficult at times to admit when you're wrong, but an apology can go a long way to making amends. Make it a sincere apology, and try to not make the same mistake again. Try another answer...

Don't compare yourself to another person.

Yes! However, there's a better answer below. You aren't necessarily better or worse than anyone else. Everyone is unique and has different skills and appearances. The only person you should try to be better than is your past self. Try another answer...

Volunteer to help others.

This is an excellent answer, but the "right" answer is still out there. When you do for others who cannot offer help in return, you're well on your way to learning humility. Keep in mind that you shouldn't brag about the volunteer work you do – it's not about you; it's about the people you've helped. Can you find a better option?

Give a compliment.

You're close, but there's an even better answer! When you point out positive qualities and attributes of others, you start to see even more to compliment. Can you find a better option?

All of the above.

Absolutely, yes! Whether you're showing humility by apologizing for a mistake or recognizing a person's attributes rather than flaws, you're really showing your appreciation for others in your life. There are other small gestures that can mean so much to people you know and strangers alike. You can listen more than you speak in a conversation, and ask questions to show you care about what the other person is saying. And as simple as it is, you can allow someone else in a line to go ahead of you. Read on for another quiz question.

Rejuvenate your sense of wonder. Because we as individuals know very little about the world, you'd expect that we'd be awestruck more often than we typically are. Children have this sense of wonder, and it inspires the curiosity that makes them such keen observers and capable learners. Do you really know how your microwave works? Could you build one on your own? What about your car? Understand your brain? A rose?

The jaded, "I've seen it all" attitude makes us feel far more important than we are. Nobody has seen it all - nobody knows it all. Be amazed like a child and you will not only be humbled; you will also be readier to learn.

Practice gentleness. Gentleness of spirit is the sure path to humility. Use 'Aikido' where possible when faced with conflict: absorb the venom from others' attacks and turn it into something positive by trying to understand why they are angry and reacting with gentleness and respect. Practicing gentleness will help you rediscover your sense of wonder as you focus on the positive aspects of life.

Spend more time in nature. Go take a walk in the park. Stand near the bottom of a waterfall. Look at the world from the top of a mountain. Go for a long hike. Swim in an ocean. Find your own way of being in nature and take the time to truly appreciate all that it entails. Close your eyes and feel the breeze on your face. You should feel completely humbled by nature - a force that is so immense in its depth and power. As you develop your wonder and respect for all of the things that were there long before you were and which will be there long after you are gone, you will began to realize just how small you are in this world.

Spending more time in nature will make you see how big and complicated the world is -- and that you're not at the center of it.

Do yoga. Yoga is the practice of love and gratitude, and it will make you develop your sense of wonder about your breath, your body, and the love and kindness in the world around you. Yoga makes you see how fleeting your time on earth is and to appreciate it even more. Make a habit of practicing yoga at least twice a week and reap all of the emotional benefits as well as the physical ones.

Yoga is all about being humble. There is no such thing as bragging about how you've hit a new pose in yoga. It's all about doing everything at your own pace.

Spend time around children. Children possess a sense of wonder at the world that is difficult to replicate as an adult. Spend more time around kids and see how they appreciate the world, are constantly questioning it, and how they get pleasure and joy out of the smallest and most mundane things. To a child, a flower or a toilet paper roll can be the most incredible thing in the world -- for an afternoon, anyway.

Spending more time around children will remind you of how magical the world really is.

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Part 3 Quiz

True or false: Humility is about accepting that you've seen it all already.

True

Nope! The truth is that you haven't seen it all and you haven't figured it all out, and that's a beautiful thing. You can look at world with a new set of eyes if you practice having a sense of wonder. Finding a new perspective can have a positive effect. For example, when you go for a walk in nature, try to see, hear, feel and smell what's around you. You'll soon feel humbled by what's around you. Try another answer...

False

Yes, exactly! There's so much for you to see, do and appreciate in this world, and there's a lot you can do to help you appreciate everything around you. Practicing yoga is one way you can tap into your own body and how it moves, and how you improve each pose over time. You can gain a new perspective in almost any situation. For example, if someone is angry, you can try to understand their point of view, and turn it into a positive situation by responding with kindness and respect. Read on for another quiz question.

Being humble doesn't mean to think less of yourself, it actually simply means to think of yourself less. You can have strong self-esteem but not brag or make a big deal of yourself to others. In fact, it's most often people with low self-esteem that feel the need to do that in order to make themselves feel better.

Signs of arrogance: You think you're better than everyone else; you think you know everything; you brag; people do not respect you; you can't find any fault in yourself, but you constantly find faults in everyone else.
Signs of humbleness: You respect others' opinions; you realize your limitations (but don't give up on your dreams!); you see your upsides and downsides, and see others' upsides and downsides.

How can I prevent myself from being arrogant, especially when people are talking about me?

Answered by
wikiHow Contributor

You may have become famous, and you may be "the" person being discussed. Remember, it is your deeds, actions, hard work and possibly humility--things which may have resulted in some success--which is leading to this adoration. Therefore, remind yourself that you must continue to be the same if you wish to continue to earn the adoration of others. As experience shows, you will need to work even harder and be even more humble to go on to your next success and continue to be "adorable."

Humility is about having the proper perspective about your own importance in the world. Are you important? Of course. Are you the most important? Not a chance. Humility comes from this understanding, and through not allowing your ego to control the way you see yourself or how you behave in society.

Keep in mind that being humble has many benefits. Humility can help you be more content with your life, and it can also help you endure bad times and improve your relationships with others. It's also essential to being an effective learner. If you think you know it all, you won't be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Humility is also, somewhat counter-intuitively, an excellent tool for self-development in general. After all, if you feel superior, you have no incentive to improve. Most of all, being humble allows you to be honest with yourself.

Appreciate your talents. Being humble doesn't mean you can't feel good about yourself. Self-esteem is not the same as pride. Both come from a recognition of your own talents and qualities, but pride, the kind of pride that leans toward arrogance, is rooted in insecurity about yourself. Think about the abilities you have, and be thankful for them.

Appreciate the talents and possessions you have instead of constantly wanting more. Often, the richest people are still left wanting something -- money, fame, etc. If you embrace who you are, you will be happier and more humble.

To be humble isn't the same as being humble, and often people who pretend to be humble do it in order to seek out praise. Other people will recognize this, and even if you fool some, you won't derive the same benefits as you would through actually developing humility.

While humility is a good thing, don't take it too far, thus becoming a doormat. Remember, everything in moderation. Humility is not a weak trait, it is actually a very strong one in the same way kindness is strong. Standing up for yourself with humility is entirely possible and just takes some practice. Be prepared to need to practice this, and don't be discouraged if you don't get the balance right initially.

Reader Success Stories

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Franklin Arosemena

May 11, 2016

"The more humble people I have met in my life are mostly happy, although the majority are very poor. They confront everyday financial, material, or societal burdens, but they are simple, friendly, great people living a very simple life. More than anything, they have a good heart, a giant sense of humor, and lots of kindness. They are very supportive regardless of their limitations. They are still very friendly, although they do fight hard in silence every day with their problems and limitations and are still are very mature and happy. Most of them never allow a good opportunity to pass and keep moving ahead loving others until the end."..." more

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Mark Price

Jul 17

"I think I am the least humble person I know. I've been successful (in my mind at least) in a number of things: work, sport, money, etc. But I've been prone to letting everyone know it. I talk more than listen. I criticize at the drop of a hat. That said, I am kind-natured, but I think the foregoing dilutes any efforts I make to create humility within me. I am 56 years old (older but none-the-wiser) and am desperate to change my nature. This site has set me on a road to rediscovery. Thanks."..." more

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Lyanna Baihaqi

Apr 5, 2016

"I don't like people who brag about their good sides, and that's why I've always tried to be humble and not think that I'm better than everyone else. However, I've had several problems lately with some people who were offended by something that I said or did, and I've been introspective of what I did wrong. I thought maybe it was because of me not being polite and humble enough, so reading this article was really helpful for me."..." more

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Deacon Smythe

May 21

"This teaching has helped me to not only take my mind off of my perceptions and achievements, but also helped me to look to aspects of my life which need improving. This was/is a step-by-step tutorial on how to better oneself through humility, and this served its purpose well. I thank you for the information and plan to put this newfound lifestyle into play as soon as possible. "..." more

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Ankit Aggarwal

Aug 9

"I just read it, and it showed me the way how to remain calm, confident, loving and humble towards the life, people and everything you have. I hope I would be able to implement at least a bit of it in my life to get better living style. Thank you for such a great article, which will always be inspirational words to everyone."..." more

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Dhruv G.

Aug 3

"Very useful article. I noticed that I had started bragging and becoming rude day by day when one of my friends said today that I was irritating him. I realized what was going on with me, I had become arrogant of many things. This thing helped me a lot to realize how I was earlier."..." more

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Clay C.

Aug 27

"Reading this article assisted me in making myself a better person. It gave me a clear-cut idea of what it means to be humble and how one achieves humility. I would recommend this article to someone who doesn't completely understand what it means to be humble."..." more

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Jazmin Monroy

Dec 27, 2016

"This actually made me really emotional. A lot of things in this article talked about things that I would've never thought about in that way, like about looking at the positive things in people. I loved this so much, thank you this - it honestly helped a lot."..." more

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Ana A.

Jul 11

"It gave me a better understanding of "humble". I hear the word so much, and I know most people don't know the meaning of being humble. I will share this site, because I think everyone I know will grow from knowing the meaning of being "humble"."..." more

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Dale Gelin

Jul 15

"Being humble is not an easy task, but this mentally-stimulating article provided insight into what it means to be humble, how to be humble and how to keep humble. The article is very informative, psychologically beneficial and educational."..." more

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Ty Davis

May 7

"The article really helped me realize all the things that I was doing wrong. I learned how not to be judgmental about other people, and how I can get rid of the negative thoughts about others, and that I need to get out there more."..." more

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Sarah W.

May 17, 2016

"This was great. I was surprised to find an answer that encompassed different views rather than being bound by scientific rules or similar things. It was really lovely to read, and I plan to use what I've learned!"..." more

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Sim D.

Jun 29, 2016

"Had some stuff that I could relate to, like: don't compare yourself to others, learn something new about stuff you know nothing about, spend time in nature. Very cool reminders and new points. "..." more

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Kaiden Elshof

Jul 19

"This article gave me a sense of appreciation. I'm on a new journey of working on myself, and becoming humble is going to be a process for me. After reading this, I know I have faith in myself."..." more

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Kathy Hemenway

Jul 22

"The article showed me where my strengths and weakness lie. I need to talk less and listen more and when I'm criticized and look at the other persons point of view."..." more

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James Spence

Jul 14, 2016

"Doing research on step seven of the 12 steps of AA, I found the examples of humility a great eye opener of a very misunderstood meaning of the word humility."..." more

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Ana A.

Jul 11

"The sections on self-discipline, and learning new things helped. Aikido was very enlightening. I learned more about how to grow into becoming humble."..." more

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Santosh Johny

Apr 5, 2016

"I'm truly humbled by your research and amazed at the clarity and distinct way the topic is examined. I've used your thoughts to teach on the subject."..." more

Swati Gupta

May 30

"It was a very candid article. Explained in the clearest possible way, and all points are very simple & relevant to follow in our daily lives."..." more

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Sarosh Akram

Jun 5, 2016

"I have always struggled with self-esteem issues and compare myself to others non-stop.This article just opened my eyes, no more comparison."..." more

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John Gomez

Apr 26

"So much help. We should become humble before others to happily depart from this planet with infinite worth of treasure in every mean."..." more

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Anne Toner

Apr 30

"It gave me practical tips to be more humble, less waspish around work colleagues. My negativity was getting me into trouble at work."..." more

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Omphile Baloyi Scarface Panda

Jun 21

"I couldn't admit that I'm wrong and got angry when I was confronted, but now I learned to accept things for the way they are."..." more

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Blessing Chibale

Sep 1

"I never knew about my identity but after reading, this content helped me know myself and how to behave towards others. "..." more

Tanyaradzwa Musanhi

Jul 28

"I got help in so many ways. l did not believe that the things l was doing were wrong. Thank you."

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Sebastien Chavannes

Jun 8

"This helped a lot and my friends and others see the difference in me already. Thank you wikiHow"

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Toni Ward

May 19

"I learned how to work on being more humble. It can be hard, but I will pray about it."

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Laurie Barker

Oct 27, 2016

"I love these pages, always so helpful and a great reminder that I am NOT the world."

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Mamotle N.

Apr 27

"It was so helpful because I finally got to understand that humbleness brings more."

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Thiri San

Apr 4, 2016

"Helps a lot. I'm very thankful. Would like more mind-developing things. Thank you."