Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•Cam Ward will miss a month of action after having his leg sliced by a skate blade. Want the only proof you need that players aren't as tough as they used to be? Clint Malarchuk was back in goal a week later.