Thursday, 12 January 2012

Fifa might get people killed

Fifa has said that it is concerned for the safety of people involved with the sport in certain countries because they might probably get murdered for something to do with match fixing. And if you read on after that first sentence, I salute you.

In many countries match fixing is just how things go, and it's a pretty easy way to earn a ton of cash to build weapons, fund drug tunnels or build giant robotic spiders to enslave man kind. Fifa's spokesman, stereotype serial killer (pictured above), said this to the BBC:

"We are very concerned about the safety of players [and] officials.

"There is anecdotal evidence that some players have been killed."

He added: "Match-fixing is all about stealing money. It destroys the lives and careers of many people. Governments should be interested because the amount of money is truly staggering.

"What are those criminal organisations doing? They are spending it on other criminal activities. They use money for power and power escalation.

"Unfortunately, because of the very nature, they can very quickly accumulate a large amount of money."

Fifa have said they plan to open a 'hot-line' for whistle blowers to help them escape the pressures of the criminal element present in some parts of the game and by 'whistle blowers' I mean people involved in the game who want to make it clean, like a footballing Serpico. I don't mean they're going to make a hot line for referees. Although I would quite like to flick from babe station to 'referee station' and just see Howard Webb sitting there on the phone to someone, just making a sandwich. That is honestly more likely to give me a boner than like 40% of the girls on those channels.