This tribute to the legislative magic of Chief Defender of The Collective's Health Maintenance, John Roberts, was posted three years ago. But now that The Lawgiver has once again shown the power of his judicial re-write pen ......

The Supremo Chief came overAnd he said "You're mostly right" He said for a nominal compromiseYou can win this Commerce Clause fightIf I was ready willing and ableTo say a fine's a taxHe would curb expansion via Commerce ClauseBut ACA won't get the ax

But I said, "Look here, Roberts"Who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree Now who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree Look here RobertsDon't you foist this tax on me

The Supremo Chief got nervousSaid, "Court's legacy I must defend"So he reached in the pocket of his judicial robeAnd pulled out his writing penNow I thought he'd just interpretOn Commerce's bounds he'd ruleBut he told me right there as he flipped off the capThere was nothing his pen couldn't doWith a disdain for jurisprudenceAnd a smooch to Obam's wazooHe said "You might not believe this, little wingnut"I've made a tax by judicial review

And I said, "Look Judge Roberts"Who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decreeNow what kind of Justice are you anyway Look John RobertsDon't you foist this tax on meDon't foist this tax .....

"But there's new troubles you have sown", I said They'll tax to the nth degreeCan they make legislations with tax implicationsMake me buy up brocoliBut I got the rewrite pen he saidAnd he held it to the lightBut I snatched it all away from himAnd I showed him how to do it right

(Break to rapid up tempo narration)

I'd look at the plain text of the lawAnd see that it's a penaltyThen I'd look at the Commerce ClauseAsk "Does it allow this decree"Can "Commerce" mean "Compelled to buy"Is that interpretation unsoundIs this what Framers had in mindIf not, the Mandate goes downWouldn't give a damn about my legacyCause of some damn thing Obama saidI said "He ain't the last word on that anyway"In four months, his own will be dead*

Look here RobertsWho you jivin' with this SCOTUS decreeNow is that an Art I levy or Supreme levy (WA wa waa wa wa wa waa)Don't You know, You caused more chaos than a bomb throwing anarchistSo don't you foist that tax on meDon't foist it Don't foist that tax on me

AUUUUGH!!! Where are the party bosses? This person has been reading verbotten literature and appears quite adept in its tenets. To the Gulags!!!

O course you'll forgive if I sell you down the river, but I still must cover my own rear end here too. Excellent job. You may well have just written the most intelligent lyric in the archive. Pardon me if I make this look good.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

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