9 December 2013

TMB Denies Poll Fixing Allegations

The Tripe Marketing Board has strenuously denied allegations in today's East Lancashire Argus and Messenger that its recent poll to find the Greatest Lancastrian 2013 was fixed. The poll was won comfortably by Sky Cricket commentator and former Lancashire and England opening batsman, Mr David ‘Bumble’ Lloyd.

The newspaper claims that it sent one of its investigative journalists undercover at TMB headquarters in Preston disguised as a cleaner.The journalist claims to have seen the full text of a letter from TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle to Mr Lloyd, dated 30 July 2013, in which Sir Norman asks Mr Lloyd to mention TMB publications during his Test Match commentary.

Mr David 'Bumble' Lloyd

A redacted version of Sir Norman's letter has been published in the TMB 2014 Diary. The journalist claims that the last paragraph of the letter, which has been redacted from the published version, reads as follows (redacted text is italicised):

"If you could see your way to giving the books a bit of good publicity we would be only too pleased to fix the results of next year’s Greatest Lancastrian poll in your favour (you came a very respectable eighth this year but some considerable distance behind the clear winner, the late Fred Dibnah. If you don’t like the books, please keep it to yourself and dispose of them in a responsible and environmentally friendly manner."A TMB spokesman said the letter was a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. He added that the TMB 2014 Diary is still available on Amazon and makes an ideal stocking filler.