Thursday, March 27, 2008

IT’S OFFICIAL! (WORST Websites contest continues)

HALLA-Frilling-LUIA!!! (Thanks Press Dawg)

As a legally blind hack that relies upon specialized software in order to create journalism masterpieces which thankfully you continue to read, I’ve been RELUCTANT To say anything too critical about the “”New ‘N Improved”” SPEED TV dot Com website…

As I wasn’t sure if it was just me or my screen reader affectionately nick-named “Lucy” having problems with the site?

C’mon Tomaso I dare you to try writing a story while I hold the pen for you! (Y’all remember Lucy’s antics in Peanuts, eh?)

Previously Robin Miller commented on Wind Tunnel how he could remember back in the good ‘Ol dazes when reporters actually talked to their sources, pounded away on those ‘Ol blue Xerox Selectric’s for a while while waiting to hear back from some warm bodies to confirm what they were busily hacking away at before having the printing plates set-up. Now everybody just goes to the internets and shuh-zamm… Instant news…

Yet, since I’m residing on the Left coast, Far, Far, Far away from the Motorsports heartland, I depend upon Al Gore’s magnificent creation for the genesis of stories I see fit to scribble about. And unless Robin is willing to cough up his Rolodex to me, I suspect I’ll carry on this way.

Thus I depend upon SPEED’s website for relevant information. Well perhaps depend is the WRONG word as the new site makes me think of DUH-PENDZS!!! Noting to myself how SPEED has OUT FOXED itself by dubbing down the once semi user friendly website, all I can think of when going there is Jim Carey in DUMB ‘N DUMBER…

Thus, I cringed the very first time I was redirected to their new Rhubarb Murdocized “ROXx TV” infomercial style set-up, as the first thing I noticed was that PINKS and Unique Whipes selection tabs had replaced the Commentary and Programs selection bars. SHEISA! Where the HELL did Robin and David Phillips go? And what frillin’ time is the Formula 1 race going to be broadcasted at? Even worse, Lucy frequently CANNOT read the stories in the various “News” sections as they simply will NOT mesh with my screen reader. And WORST of all is the frillin’ video clips automatically playing while I futilely attempt to find the stop button… (As apparently I’m “Juan ‘O” the Lucky SOB’s whose confuzer will actually play the DAMN things! Yet, try having a screen reader running simultaneously while unwanted video clips are audibly playing and there’s NO FRILLIN’ Way to STOP them!!!)

As I fear the FOX 24/7 dribble of this overly graphic intensive website seems incompatible with my screen reader and I seriously DOUBT the site meets current Low Vision/Blindness web default standards for the running of such programs as Zoomtext and JAWS…

Hey SPEED! If I wanted to read RASSCAR Lite, I’d go to the appropriate website, so, Mr. Murdoch take back you’re FRILLING snazzy jazzed up website as you’re simply killing me, as I’m inclined less ‘N less to visit either the website or TV channel as they’re both made for a different demographic…

Finishing in the runner-up position for WORST websites for me to use on a daily basis is Autosport.com as the miniscule Bingo card racing category selections are extremely hard to read and select, while its even harder to select the individual stories for Lucy to read!

Taking the final step on the podium… Podium? We DON’T need NO Stinkin’ Podiums… Is the site that Tony George built… Err, Indy Car.com as it’s extremely annoying to try selecting on the rotating ferris wheel rotisserie selection tabs… But perhaps the site will become even more despised with upcoming merging of Champ Car assets, as the CCWS website was also a PAIN IN THE ARSE to navigate. Yet, contrary to popular belief, it was actually navigable once you scrolled down the first three quarter’s of a mile. But, I digress…