Men Are Even Lazier Than I Thought

How far would you go for sex? I don’t mean this metaphorically; I’m asking *literally* how far would you travel if you knew sex awaited you at the end of your voyage?

According to a recent survey conducted by a dating site, the answer for a lot of men is no further than 75 miles. It’s an answer which surprised Calico — until she began thinking about her husband, and how much enticement it takes just to get that lazy bastard off the couch, much less all the way down the hall and into bed.

Read all about it Calico’s latest post, “Men Are Even Lazier Than I Thought”

Judging by the guys I dated in college, I would have thought most men would climb any mountain, swim any ocean, or maybe even descend into the heart of hell if they thought there was guaranteed sex awaiting them upon arrival.

One of my brief dalliances as a coed was with a guy who was so hooked after just one encounter, he stood outside my building in the rain waiting for me to come home from work two days after we’d had sex for the first time – and he did this without even knowing what time my shift ended.

I found this fellow’s version of the “waiting game” to be equal parts flattering, creepy and desperate, so in the end, it turned out he had waited for nothing. Put simple, it’s one thing to keep fucking someone who has flattered me with an exhibition of devotion, but quite another to bed down with a potential stalker.

On the other hand, there’s my husband, who the last time I asked him what he’d be willing to do if it meant a guarantee of having sex with me later that same evening, responded with a shrug and “It depends on whether I’d still be eligible for having sex with you tomorrow, or later in the week, without having to do anything at all.”

I’d have smacked him for that, but in many ways I’m just as lazy as he is – and he had the good sense to say this to me while standing all the way on the other side of the living room, at a time when I didn’t have anything handy to throw in his direction.

Across Town Is OK, But Across The County Is A Get-Laid-Bridge Too Far?

Brits, apparently, are slightly more inclined to make the trip, with 65.7% of men in the UK saying they’d be willing to go 50 miles for sex, compared to 65.3% of American men. Oddly enough, if you move the marker out to a 75-mile distance, the numbers drop by a similar margin, but it’s the Americans who are a little more willing to make the trip than their British counterparts, 32.4% to 31.4%.

Either way, the percentages continue to fall as the distance increases, leading us to the inexorable conclusion….

The Longer The Trip, The Fewer Are Those Who Will Answer The (Booty) Call

By the time the distance reaches 1000 miles, only 4.4% of UK respondents and 3.5% of American respondents said they’d be willing to make the trek for sex.

To me, this speaks to a general lack of commitment on the part of men, every bit as much as a reticence to marry does. Or maybe it says something about the quality of the sex they’ve enjoyed to date – only three or four guys in 100 have experienced an orgasm which strikes them as worthy of a Boston-to-Atlanta shot to enjoy again, in other words.

It’s sort of sad, really – and it does make me wonder: Do I have any former lovers who would still consider me thousand-mile-trip-worthy? Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that – or maybe the time to ask would have been when we were both much younger.

On Second Thought, Maybe My Surprise Should Flow In The Other Direction…

As I often do, when I sat down to write this post, I ran the survey info past my husband, who does occasionally cook up a decent observation, despite being roughly as mentally-focused as a hyperactive Rottweiler with Attention Deficit Disorder when it comes to answering questions I’ve posed to him.

“This data says nothing about the age of the men responding,” my husband noted, as he wiped barbeque potato chip grease on his t-shirt. “When I was 18, I’d have walked from here to Topeka if I thought I was going to get laid at the end of my hike.”

He didn’t have to complete the comparison – because I know, firsthand and without a sliver of doubt, now that he’s 48 I’m lucky if he’s willing to walk the length of the hallway to have his dick sucked, much less to do anything which has the prospect of getting ME off, too.

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite. Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.

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