Unlike a lot of you guys, I finally started to 'crack' in my mid forties....in my situation, absolutely no way to meet up with men other than the bus station or a couple of local parks. There are a lot of men there for the same reason---to share the common situation, to find some relief...which is understandably distasteful to those of you who've attained meaningful realtionships. Advertising is out. But, I' worry about the chances are of undercover cops being there. At the risk of sounding like Rube Hatfield, just off the bus----how often have you heard of men in central New York State being busted for (non-prostitution-type), consensual sex in the back seat? Personally, I haven't heard of any, as there are enough other crimes going on in this town that merit attention. Still, it would be par for the course to be the one they pick. After brilliantly racking up a DWI awhile back, just one incident would put me away for sure---(and though there'd be more sex there than I could handle, it wouldn't exactly be my druthers.) Your thoughts, guys?

Don't know diddly 'bout central New York state. What I do know somethin' 'bout is crusin' parks (though it's been near 40 years ago); can be down right dangerous and not just from the possible undercover cop. Those places are also used by folks who mean ya no good a'tall. Predatory gay bashers who'll do whatever they want and figure ya won't report it. Course there are also the predatory gays who are just lookin' for trade and their own pleasure.

If'n ya can't drive to a neighboring town/city and seek out a gay hangout, bar, or club and this is your only option: be very careful.

You didn't mention whether or not relocation to a more viable environment was a possibility. If it is, ya really should consider it. Leading that sort of a double life is toxic.

"Do not ascribe malice to that which can be reasonably explained by ignorance ... or incompetence."
Isaac Asimov

mojo wrote:Unlike a lot of you guys, I finally started to 'crack' in my mid forties....in my situation, absolutely no way to meet up with men other than the bus station or a couple of local parks. There are a lot of men there for the same reason---to share the common situation, to find some relief...which is understandably distasteful to those of you who've attained meaningful realtionships.

Hey man, we all come from different situations. No one is going to judge you here.

And Listen to Lou, he speaks the truth. Many years ago when I was in high school, I was supposed to go hang out with some buddies in a local park. Something came up and I didn't go, but that night they killed a guy guy who was cruisin' for sex. I think that was the moment I "chose" to be straight.

Appreciate your insights, men-----there are a lot of good comments made on this board, and both of you have words that carry weight. Here's hoping things will work out over time, and that I (or any of us) don't end up in "America's Funniest Sex Busts". But meanwhile-- it's good to know that others have been through it and understand. Thanks--

Parks and parking lots are trashy, sleezy places to meet people. Dude, you should seriously consider personal ads or meeting guys online. It's much safer. I won't judge you, but I will judge the venue. You wanted opinions. There's mine.