St Valentine's Day Massacre

by Laurence O'Brien

19th Bristol Classic Bike Show Report

Why was Mike Rendall as pleased as punch?
I can encapsulate it in three words - Louis Vuitton Classic.
And, now that I have your undivided attention I shall proceed with the
report, with explanations coming later.

Shepton Mallet in deep Somerset awoke from winter hibernation not
with the sound of the cuckoo but the ear-piercing buzz of what seemed
like hedge-trimmers run amok - 'twas the Wess Vinglun Chapter led by Bob
Wayte aided and abetted by Bro' Steve entertaining kindred spirits on a
pre-opening round-up of stray sheep at the Royal Bath and West Show
Ground.
The Show Ground comprises three halls, one main and two minor linked for
the show by tent-like tunnels.
Our stand for the previous two years has occupied the main hall - not
quite all of it you understand, but a substantial and very important
part of it.
Above and around us was a gallery where crowded on-lookers would take
reels of film of our machines, unable to approach from the ground.
This year we were prised out of our prized position into one of the
minor halls, moving steadily towards the door - and you know what that
means - yes - next year we shall be in the autojumble - and the year after we
shall be the autojumble.
Rumour has it that the show sponsor, Footman James, were out to let as
much space in the main hall to trade stands at £400 per pitch and
the minor attractions such as exhibitors could be left on the
sidelines - only an unsubstantiated rumour, but it sure looked that way.

However, Bob made the best of this forced change with the stand being
bigger and brighter and attracted as many if not more visitors.
The stand presented well marshalled iron horses with a centre display of
static exhibits including the remains of Bob's shaft driven late vintage
Vélo.
Steve had made one of the statics more dynamic - a cut-away Cyclemaster
engine had had a handle attached to the crankshaft for young (and not so
young) visitors to enjoy the current trend of visitor inter-action and
hands-on participation.

Talking of remains, Steve Wayte announced a new competition to
identify Ian Edwards's exhibits.
Most people were almost fooled this year - the machines were complete
and running, although the flatter than flat front tyre on the Griffon
suggested a bit of imagination required.
None-the-less they had some semblance of motive power, contrary to one
member's exhibit which looked suspiciously like a pedal powered 1990s
mountain bike; its owner had apparently arrived on it and parked it
temporarily against the rear wall, only to find on his return that it
had been integrated into the display.

The left wing of our arena housed the bread-and-butter cyclemotor
range, starting off with Mike Jones's usual collection of more unusual,
possibly unique examples.
Mike is migrating towards vintage cars, but being 'forced' to dispose of
some of his two wheeled machines to raise funds.
Now there is trying to sell and trying not very hard to sell, and the
half-hearted attempt to sell one of his beloved machines at the end of
the show with the tiniest "For Sale" sign ever on his highly
original Cyclemaster took the biscuit for half-heartedness.
His Teagle and Mini-Motor were denied any change of ownership, well
figures weren't mentioned but I'm sure that given the right spin...

Dave Smith and his inflation-proof Cyclemaster powered butcher's bike
plus basket with contents retaining the same prices as last year,
another rare example, came between Mike and Roy Best with his alluring
Power Pak.
Philippa Wheeler's Raleigh mounted Cucciolo brought the visitors'
attention, after due and thoughtful study to the NACC regalia stand and
a stack of past 'Buzzings'.
These proved to be a popular attraction amongst the
cognoscenti/anoraks.

A retro-cyclo Delta Dart was exhibited by John who also loaned an
example of garage floor covering to protect ones tootsies from the chill
concrete.
Unfortunately, it didn't cover the whole area - in fact it covered very
little at all and what with Bob, Steve and miscellaneous members, and
members' relatives the cover was hardly to be seen.

Geoff Warren's VéloSoleX 3800 started the back line of
autocycles in a Franco-German duet with John Davis's Triumph, nay
Treeumph, German engineering derived autocycle with a rather cute cable
operated bell mounted on the front below the headlamp.
This was adjudged the Cyclemotor/Autocycle prizewinner this year.

Ian Edwards's aforementioned machines were a Leopard Bobby '56 and
another French (barn fresh!) discovery: a pre-'55 Griffon.
Now, at no prompting whatsoever, Ian whipped the side panel off the
fabulous beast of yore to display its innards, and left panel and
fasteners like some discarded entrails on the floor - now that's more like
Ian.

The real prize this year was for Mike Rendall and his Excelsior
Autocycle: a passing Sotheby's personage invited him to the Louis
Vuitton Classic at the Hurlingham Club.
This is a champagne bash for machines in the Crimean to Korean War
period, and Mike had a special request to participate in the Concurs
d'Elegance - well done Mike - talk about proud!
All this on top of receiving
the Wess Vinglun prize - a silver rose bowl sponsored by Avon Engraving
Ltd.

Those two Trojans (eh?) Bob and Steve who do so much in restoring
machines have now so little time left when putting on the show that they
can't display their own kit - our thanks go to them for all the humping
and transporting and no chance to win the rosettes!