Trump Swings in Kern County

After thrilling a crowd of believers downtown, Trump says, “Kevin, it’s hotter than hell. Is it any better up in those hills I can barely see?”

“Sure, Tehachapi’s a lot cooler and you can breathe.”

“Let’s go.”

A secret service agent says, “Mr. President, we haven’t done any advance security.”

“Don’t worry. No one knows we’re coming.”

A caravan of fortified vehicles cruises up Highway 58, gaining elevation and passing oak trees, and after thirty miles moves by Keene where McCarthy points. “Right over there Cesar Chavez lived and had his United Farm Workers offices.”

“Where’s he living now?” asks Trump.

“He died twenty-five years ago.”

“He hated businessmen, I know that.”

In ten more minutes, rolling by an occasional thirsty pine, they enter Tehachapi and cruise down the main street.

“Don’t quote me, Kevin, but this place is a hick town. Do they even have a golf course?”

“Horse Thief Country Club’s about ten miles from here. It’s surrounded by little mountains and real pretty.”

“We’ve got time for nine holes. Let’s do it.”

“I played there all the time as a kid,” says McCarthy. “It’s an exciting course, lots of boulders and elevated tees.”