- There are five days left to enter the 2009 One Show Interactive and One Show Design. Although the One Show call for entries is now closed, the deadline for Interactive and Design is February 27, 2009.

- The AD Club is organizing their second All-Access Pass of the Year. The event will be at McCann Erickson on Tuesday March 10 from 6-8 pm, featuring a "roundtable" with Chief Technology Strategist, Faris Yakob.

We knew a guy who got drafted into the Ukrainian military. As the day of his departure drew closer, he turned into a person we hardly knew and who sort of freaked us out. Finally he confessed he was dodging the draft and leaving for London.

"But why?" we said.

"Ukrainian military makes people disappear," he hissed, looking all wild-eyed.

Having just seen this ad for the Ukrainian Army, we have serious doubts about that and resent that he lied to us. Ukraine's first line of defense turns ordinary folk into dangerously charismatic mofos, capable of seducing women of varying hairstyles away from men with BMWs. Said women will shower you with alabaster jugs of vodka and chase your tanks while making marriage contract innuendos. (Now you know why Tony Stewart picks the Russian chicks.)

So...what do you do if you are a boring electric utility no one really cares about yet, for some reason, you still need to spend money on marketing? You go hire an army of women dressed like flight attendants and choreograph them Chinese Olympic Closing Ceremony-style in industrialsituations which, somehow, is supposed to explain how great the utility is.

Oh, and before we forget, the utility in question is Holland's RWE and the agency behind the work is Amsterdam agency THEY.

- Like animals? Like strange "viral" videos? Jonesing for anything Samsung? Then check out this seeded video from The Viral Factory.

- The 12th annual One Show Interactive Awards will take place on May 8th at Terminal 5 in New York as part of The One Club's Festival Week which includes The One Show on May 6 at Jazz at Lincoln Center and One Show Design on May 4 at the IAC Building in New York.

Now we all know television ratings are complete bullshit but that has never stopped media outlets from hyping them one day and complaining about them the next. So it is without surprise the bitchiness continues to escalate as evidenced by this FOX News trade ad which touts its seven year lead with adults 25-54 while, at the same time, calling CNN and MSNBC pathetic, lame and half-baked.

The full copy in the ad reads, "* This would be where CNN & MSNBC use an asterisk in their ads to point out some half-baked on-time statistic to prove that somebody stumbled across their channels giving them a temporary spike in the ratings, which they would tout as unprecedented, earth-shattering and monumental. It's actually pathetic since we all know if they massage their statistics long enough, they can come up with something to make their lame point. But deep in their little hearts, even they know that FOX News is number one in cable and has beem for years."

Seriously. This from an actual television station. Did the entire television industry just turn into a bunch of five year olds fighting in a sandbox?

Greek mobile phone network Cosmote is promoting its social merits with "Our world is you" -- shorthand for in our world, you can do whatever you want.

The ad aims to represent "the everyday as you see it," and is supposed to be a snapshot of the world from the perspectives of different individuals.

But mostly we just felt confused. A guy walks out into an ordinary street. Suddenly there are cowboys, and a space ship -- by gad, is that a giant disembodied heart?! -- then it snows, shortly before everything dissolves into a big awesome rave.

We did the only thing we could do under the circumstances: we tore out our brains and stepped on them.

And in today's weird for weird's sake, we have this commercial for Wai Wai in which fat, swollen noodles become lithe, slim...hot noodles. It's not clear, though, why the guy doesn't spend at least a few minutes enjoying the site of his lithe, slim...and hot noodles before he scarfs them down like a Suleman kid fighting for the last scrap at the dinner table.

Judging from the poster, it has several culinary uses, including chocolate-covered lard and lard drizzled with borscht."

According to Read Russia (linked above), Russian business newspaper Kommersant claims this American Lard thing is a propaganda effort by political party A Just Russia, which wants to draw attention to the sick, unhealthy interior beneath the US's tasty veneer (edible or otherwise). Others claim it might be a viral effort to promote a book, and at least one civilian believes this really is just a new food product.

"Sigh. Propaganda here used to be so simple," the author laments. Yeah, we know the feeling.

It isn't immediately clear whether the Maryland Comptroller has an ingenious sense of humor or just really low standards, but "Real Tax Payers of Genius" -- a video effort to get taxpayers to e-file -- definitely left us with a queasy "What hath YouTube wrought" sensation.

Word from a colleague: "I love how the screen says ifile ... and the voice says efile." But it was the papercut scene, and the digitally-enhanced voiceover, that stole our appetites.

We can't hate on something we so deeply pity. So hey, MD, here's some help. (And warm clammy thanks to Jack for molesting us with this audiovisual gem.)