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International Woman’s Day is a holiday that just occurred in March 8. This may come as news to the international bride seeker because this holiday isn’t celebrated in the West. It was typically celebrated in countries of the former Soviet Union in honor of the sacrifices that women have made for the home land. So the holiday carried some political significance when communists ruled the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe.

Nowadays, the holiday lost some of its political significance but Russian women, as well as other women in Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union still treat this as a special holiday where men give them gifts and flowers. So as a bride seeker, you must remember this holiday. It’s likely that your woman has dropped you hints of the upcoming day in your correspondence with her.

You are expected to buy her a gift for this special day. Yes, you just celebrated Valentine’s Day with her, and yet, there’s also another female-centric holiday that you must celebrate less than a month away. It can drive you crazy. I know. But this is something that we men must do for love.

There are many flower and gift delivery services on the internet that you can use, so you can’t use distance or the language barrier as an excuse. If you are corresponding with a girl through a marriage agency then the agency can also help you arrange a gift delivery for her.

In the end, if you don’t give your Russian girls something on this day, or let it pass unremarked, then you are dead meat! It will put a damper on the relationship and she may think you aren’t serious. So send her some flowers at least, and make sure you send them in odd numbers (1,3,5,etc). I know that a dozen roses is considered a romantic gift in the West, but in Russia it is a bad omen. Flowers given in even numbers are reserved for funerals. This would be the only thing you should keep in mind when giving flowers to a Russian woman.

I had fallen off the grid over the Christmas and New Year holiday, so I’m just catching up to this news.

Season 2 of 90 Day Fiance on TLC introduced us to Danielle and Mohammed.

In my review of the season, I personally didn’t think this marriage would last. It was a nonstarter from the beginning. It wasn’t just the 15 year age difference. There was also the discrepancy in attractiveness. Mohammed is an 8 on a scale of 1-10 while Danielle is only a 2. This sounds crass, and we like to think that love can conquer all, but humans practice assortative mating. The 8’s will end up with other 8’s while 2’s end up with other 2’s. It could still work if there’s a point or two difference, but a 6 point difference is too much without compensating factors and Danielle didn’t have any. She was raising 4 children, can’t keep a job, and can’t keep the lights on in her apartment. She’s a mess.

Mohammed also avoided expressions of intimacy with Danielle, he didn’t even kiss her after vows were exchanged in the ceremony. When he consulted with an immigration attorney during one of the episodes, it was clear that he had mentally checked out of the relationship. There were also a lot of unexplained absences of Mohammed. Nobody knew this relationship would last, not even Danielle’s family.

So it’s no surprise that Danielle announced that she and Mohammed were divorcing. News of this spilt can be found here and here. This news came sooner than I expected. Mohammed is still on a conditional green card and if he were to legally stay in the US, he would have to prove that he had good intentions when marrying Danielle. Good luck with that. He can probably move elsewhere and remain in the country, but he would do so as an illegal alien.

This should be an object lesson to the reader. Choose wisely. We all have dreams of being with a hot girl and have her as your wife, but you have to be in the same league. This probably means that if you’re not very attractive, you should probably aim lower than an 8 for a foreign bride. You can still be happy and it will make for a more stable relationship.

Happy belated New Year! The holiday pressure is off and I’m trying to get back into writing. My Ukrainian girlfriend and I recently became engaged over the New Year holiday. We’ve been together for almost a year and we were sharing memories of our first meeting. She also wanted to tell me so many things about what she was feeling but her English isn’t good enough to do so. It made me think of translators.

My fiancé and I never used or hired one. She mastered enough basic English that our conversations flowed reasonably well. If we needed to express something complicated the google translate app worked reasonably well. I think we both knew that the this is the nature of international relationships–you don’t know each other’s languages very well. So you enter them already prepared for this fact.

My experience with translators was with the Mordinson Marriage Agency in Kharkov. Michael Mordinson, the owner, is very fluent in Russian and Ukrainian and was very helpful with translating letters and conversations during my first meetings with the girls at his agency. He would only translate for our first date and leave us alone for our second dates and so on. However, if the girls knew at least a little bit of English, he would leave us to ourselves at our first meeting.

Personally, I like Michael’s philosophy. Translators should just be used to facilitate meetings. Having a translator around constantly will make things awkward if you and your girl like each other enough to progress to multiple dates and then something more. You also don’t want to talk about anything too personal with a translator so it can end up stalling a budding relationship. At one point, you and your girl will have to learn how to communicate. The sooner that happens, the better.

You also want to learn how your girl copes with adversity. If she can’t speak or understand, does she get frustrated? Angry? Does she take it out on you? Or is does she go with the flow and try and figure it out with you? Is she patient? This can tell you a lot about a girl’s temperament and how well she can adjust if she moves abroad to be with you. This is good information to have when you decide on which girl to be with. In my experience, if a Russian girl likes you, she will try to communicate with you, so don’t get talked into relying a translator too much.

I’ve recommended readers to check out Olga Reznikova’s blog, Discover Ukrainebefore. In it she discusses customs and traditions in Ukraine that can help the foreign bride seeker navigate the dating customs in this area of the world. So it was already a good resource.

I turns out that she gets many questions about dating Ukrainian girls and marriage agencies and she decided to offer consultation services starting at $50. If Olga can spare you from being a victim of a scammer, bogus agency or green card girl, then I think $50 is well worth the investment. She can also investigate the legitimacy of agencies and help you arrange flower delivery. You can read more about the service in one of her recent posts.

The prospect of being able to get a more attractive and hotter girl from another country as your wife is what appeals to many foreign bride seekers. However, this could be a recipe for disappointment. You need a good idea of how beautiful a foreign bride you can get.

I know how this starts. Most men begin their search on-line. They are bombarded by profiles of women and photos of women in suggestive poses that wouldn’t give him the time of day in America under normal circumstances. Advertising strongly implies that these long-haired beauties are fed up with their local men and want to marry a foreign man. Your looks don’t matter! He’s skeptical but he signs up for free at one of the sights, creates a profile and uploads his photos. Responses start rolling in. Many of them are scammers but some are genuine. Even the genuine replies are coming from some pretty hot women.

This is much different from the daily grind of approaching women online or in public in America. He thinks he’s struck gold!

NOW STOP!

You know that new sense of euphoria that you’re getting from being a desired commodity? That’s what the average American woman feels between the ages of 15 and 35. She gets a ton of interest from the opposite sex and she feels she can pick and choose based on increasingly superficial criteria until at around 35 when she hits the wall and wonder where all the good men are. It’s because she was too picky. She was that kid in a candy store that passed over all the different types of candy until the store closed and now she’s stuck with nothing.

Don’t fall in this trap. Don’t think you can hold out or trade up to hotter and hotter women, because there are limits. It’s not that you’ll end up with nothing. The hotties will be more than happy to go out with you (for a price), but your goal should be a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage. You aren’t the only guy looking abroad and she is going to pick a man that she thinks is suitable for her.

Humans often practice assortative mating. This is the tendency of an individual to mate with someone who has similar attributes to yourself. Colloquially this is described as dating within your league or ladder theory in some places on the internet. It’s not that humans make a conscious decision to do this. Many do aim out of their league to try to improve their lives but they are often rejected because their romantic interest is also trying to mate with the best that she can.

If most beautiful people are rated as a 10 on a scale of 1-10 that means they are in high demand and can be more selective. If they do make a choice, they will choose a 10 as well. The rest of us have to settle for lower on the scale, but not too low! What happens under this selection criteria is that the dating and marriage market tends to stratify. 10’s will pair off with 10’s. 5’s with 5’s and 2’s with 2’s.

This is idealized but you get the point. There is often couples that have a point or two difference. You can often see a 5 with a 7, because circumstances vary and change. Maybe one partner doesn’t realize his intrinsic attractiveness. Maybe they were well matched in the past but one partner let himself go. Maybe there was something quirky about him that turned off some women in his league but somebody else higher up found authentic and endearing.

But most people think that a difference of two between levels of attractiveness is the maximum. Anything more strains credibility. If you see a 4 with a 9, for example, then there has to be an overriding factor. Often it boils down to money. But there could also be self-esteem issues, or perhaps the marriage was arranged.

This is what you need to keep in mind to achieve the best outcome when searching for foreign brides. Be mindful of your own attractiveness when deciding who to contact. Your search will be a lot less expensive and frustrating and you’ll be better off for it.

This dose of realism isn’t bad news. You will certainly end up with a more beautiful wife than what you are capable of obtaining back at home. You are likely to score the full two points higher than you on attractiveness. The fact that you are from a more economically developed country is a plus. So if you are a 5 (average attractiveness), then you should be able to obtain a 7 easily. Most people consider 7’s to be attractive so you’re doing great for yourself. If you aim for a ten, you may get her, but people will suspect things like she only married you for the citizenship to your country. That’s assuming the relationship even lasted that long.

…Or more specifically, why are men seeking marriage abroad? Paul Joseph Watson of Infowars describes how fewer men than ever are refusing or avoiding marriage.

The gist of this ten minute video is that radical feminism and their media enablers have waged ongoing gender warfare against men with some anti-male values being enacted into law!

Actually, the reasons PJ Watson gives in the video mesh very well with why some American men wish to seek foreign brides. Many men may be avoiding marriage with American women, but some of us still desire marriage. Some of us want to be with a woman, we want to commit to a woman and have children with her. We desire marriage because it is the one thing besides our jobs that give us meaning in life.

If the lack of marriageable men is the social problem that many pundits see it as, then it might be worth asking men why they are avoiding the institution. Until then, men will do what they want.

A common question that bride seekers tend to ask is if they can expect to have sex with the foreign woman that they date overseas. The question doesn’t surprise me. Men consider sex to be of primary importance in their relationship. However, I also suspect that some men may think that other “traditional” cultures may have traditional views about sex (only in marriage), and therefore, he will have to spend much money, vacation time and effort to bring her to the US on a fiancé visa and marry her before he has a chance to have sex with her. I also think that men want to be assured that, after going through all this trouble, that a relationship can be consummated. There’s also the reality that men gauge a woman’s interest in him based on how willing she is to have sex with him.

I can answer with some confidence that you can expect to have sex with the girl that you are dating in Russia and other countries of the FSU. I can see exceptions in the case of devoutly religious women, but these exceptions are rare as far as I can tell. So I don’t think foreign bride seekers in this area of the world need to worry about a woman holding out on him if they really like each other.

Bear in mind that women in the FSU are aware and cautious of sex tourism in their area of the world and will avoid men that treat sex as transactional in nature. This means that you can’t suggest that you spent all this time and money to come see her, and therefore, she owes you some nookie. You have to date her and know her as a person. Despite the likelihood of the two of you writing letters and communicating on webcam for months prior to your visit, you haven’t dated her yet. Fortunately, for you, dating isn’t that expensive in the FSU. Even in major cities you can find a café or recreational activity that is reasonable in price. Don’t forget that there is no such thing as going Dutch in the FSU. The man pays for the dates. Also, there will be no shopping sprees!

After a few days into your visit when you’ve established some comfort and attraction, you can invite her to your apartment for wine or champaign. If she agrees, then sex will most certainly happen. Try to establish as seductive and romantic atmosphere as possible and try to lead her into sex naturally. She may stop you to use the bathroom or shower. Let her. Russian women aren’t teases like American women are. If she’s accepted an invitation to your place, she is willing to have sex.

Many veteran bride seekers have suggested a 5-day rule. If you haven’t had sex with her by the fifth day of your visit, then you are supposed to cut off ties and move on. Many people have resisted this idea because they see that it debases the idea of human relationships. You certainly don’t want to tell your girlfriend about this rule, but after some experiences, I see wisdom in this rule. Relationships that I was in that didn’t have sex within this time frame went nowhere. You also have to consider that dating and courtship is compressed into a one week visit so this tends to accelerate things.

So yes, you can expect to have sex with the girl that you are visiting within a few days.