Parody: Televangelist Robertson is Likely Possessed by Satan

It appears that televangelist Pat Robertson is in the thrall of Satan, according to spiritual warriors, Drs. Valerie Tarico and Marlene Winell. "It's the only possible explanation," said Tarico. "How else can we make sense of his repeated attempts to humiliate both God and Christianity in the wake of recent natural disasters."

Tarico spotted what she saw as a suspicious pattern after Robertson's recent remarks about the devastation in Haiti. As people lay dying in the rubble of Tuesday's tragic earthquake and nations around the world are scrambling to provide disaster releif, Robertson spoke to the Christian Broadcasting Network's "The 700 Club:"

Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it... They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said, we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the Devil said, okay it's a deal... Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other.

"Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven," said Tarico and then articulated:

When Robertson blamed the Katrina disaster on God, and said He was punishing those poor gray-haired Black people for the sins of their gay neighbors, I thought it might just be human error. All we like sheep have gone astray, you know. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. But suddenly, when I read Robertson's remarks about Haiti, it was like a light blazed down from heaven and a voice spoke saying, 'Behold, the Father of Lies.' I picked up the phone and called the only person more familiar with these problems than I am, Dr. Marlene Winell. She confirmed my worst fears.

We spoke with Dr. Winell in her Bay Area office. "Demons need a host, and they can jump from one person to another," she explained.

We know this because Jesus cast demons out of a possessed man and into a herd of pigs. The pigs drowned themselves, the same kind of self-destructive behavior we are seeing in Mr. Robertson. It is possible that he was infected at or around the funeral of Dr. Jerry Falwell. In hindsight we can see that Dr. Falwell was possessed by a similar -- possibly the same -- demon.

Back in 2001, when the U.S. was reeling from the 9/11 bombings, Falwell horrified Christians around the world by blaming the disaster on gays and woman who have had abortions. "The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked," Falwell said on "The 700 Club."

And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.

Could this be the work of any old run-of-the-mill demon? "I doubt it," said Winell. "Those remarks were broadcast to an enormous audience. Probably tens of thousands of people were turned off of Christianity and the Christian God. I think this is an organized media strategy by Satan himself. We're talking about Beelzebub, the Father of Lies. The guy is a marketing genius. This is the snake that sold Adam and Eve an apple in trade for paradise."

Winell went on to remind us:

Sarah Palin, as a prominent Christian could easily have been possessed by Satan, like Roberts, but she is deeply vigilant about spiritual warfare. She had the foresight to allow an African Minister pray over her for protection against witchcraft. Now would be the time for Palin to help Robertson. With her connections, she could arrange an exorcism and then get him the same protection treatment. **

Our reporter pointed out that similar comments have been made by Islamic leaders about natural disasters:

A Saudi professor at Al-Imam University said the devastating tsunami that killed over 150,000 people was Allah's punishment for homosexuality and fornication at Christmastime."These great tragedies and collective punishments that are wiping out villages, towns, cities, and even entire countries are Allah's punishments of the people of these countries, even if they are Muslims," said sheik Fawzan Al-Fawzan.

Both Tarico and Winell saw this as confirmation of their hypothesis. To quote Tarico:

Anyone who listens to Reverend Hagee knows that Muslim leaders are controlled by Satan himself. And now you tell me they have been using words that are virtually identical to those of Falwell and Robertson?! Fawzan Al . . . It sounds a lot like Falwell, doesn't it. Look no further.

**Friends of Sarah Palin interested in helping Pat Robertson and defending the honor of Christianity can post this article on her wall at http://www.facebook.com/sarahpalin.

In real life, Marlene Winell is a psychologist and writer in Berkeley, California. She is the author of Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion. She has a psychotherapy practice and works with people recovering from toxic religion.
Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of The Dark Side: How Evangelical Teachings Corrupt Love and Truth, and the founder of www.WisdomCommons.org