A 29-year-old Californian named Travis Kevie was recently arrested after he broke into a closed-down bar and reopened it using six-packs he bought at the store. The best part? The police found out after the local paper published a profile.

There is basically no better kind of crime story than "real-life events that should form the basis to the plot of a 1980s comedy constantly on Cinemax." And that is exactly what kind of story this is: Travis Kevie, a 29-year-old "transient" who claims to be a rodeo cowboy, broke into the Valencia Club in Auburn, Calif. on July 16 and put an "open" sign in the window. His first sales were from a six-pack he'd bought; apparently, he made enough profit off of his resold store booze that he was able to keep the bar open for four days, serving around 30 customers a day.

But the delightful real-life Steve Guttenberg comedy (starring Sean Young as the straight-laced love interest and Christopher Lloyd as the eccentric regular) only lasted four days. Protip: If you are opening a bar that you are not, "legally," allowed to open, don't let the local paper to write a profile about you, because, despite what you may have heard, some people still read the news. Like Auburn police Detective Jim Hudson (John Ashton), who popped on down to the bar after recognizing Kevie from past run-ins and arrested him. Roll credits!

Bonus: Are you looking for a way to define "dramatic irony"? Read the Auburn Journal article about Kevie for such excellent examples as:

"Kevie said that paperwork on the bar sale hasn't been finalized but that he has moved into living quarters at the bar and will be keeping it open seven days a week from 8 a.m. to 2 a.m."

"Already in receipt of his first $1 bill earned at the bar he's in the middle of finalizing the paperwork on, Kevie, 29, is reveling in the chance to make his mark and have some fun with a local landmark lovingly referred to as 'The V.C.'"

"Kevie said he doesn't know the details behind the decision by the previous owners to close the bar. He's looking to the future, with plans for an Elvis impersonator on Aug. 1 and a vision to give residents and patrons what they want in a bar."