It can’t be racist, we’re factual TV show of the year, insist Top Gear

Top gear presenters Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and the other one have hit back at accusations of xenophobia made by Mexico’s ambassador by insisting that they can’t be racist because they’ve won an award for best factual programme.

Hammond, who dresses like a 15 year-old git and sports a haircut which serves as a constant reminder of what can happen when you crash at 200 mph insisted, “Top Gear is an award winning factual show, not an award winning opinion show.”

“If we say that Mexicans are lazy, feckless, flatulent and overweight then we’ve got a TV award to back that up.”

“This isn’t idle speculation, we thoroughly research each of our shows, which is why our facts won an award for being really good facts.”

“They wouldn’t give a national television award to a show based on its facts, if it was essentially an hour of Jeremy Clarkson’s opinion, would they?”

Top Gear Mexican Row

As a result of the complaint, a planned Top Gear special in which Clarkson, Hammond and the other one drive around the country to find out how many foreigners and homosexuals they can fit in the back of a transit van has been placed on hold.

Clarkson blasted, “Accusing us of racism because we described Mexican food as refried sick is just the sort of attitude I’d expect from a bunch of bloody work-shy Gringos…with big hats and enormous droopy moustaches.”

Further complaints are expected after an episode to be screened on Sunday in which Indian sports car the Hindu Civic Stereotype R is described by Clarkson as smelling of curry and, “The sort of car that you’ll find on every street corner, plus it wears a turban with a chinstrap and steals our jobs.”

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