Latvian man shortage leaves women lost for love

13.10.2010, 17:12

Two decades after Latvia shook off Soviet communist rule, the country's women have survived the transition to capitalism better than men - they are better educated and are less likely to die young. But a high male mortality rate means for many women, it is hard to find a partner, writes BBC.

Dania and Zane are both single and have come to a cafe in the centre of Riga to chat about one of their favourite topics - the lack of decent men. The two women are both 29, beautiful, stylish and well-educated, but it seems that in Latvia there are simply not enough eligible men to go round.

Dania has been working at a film festival where 98% of her colleagues are women. "There's nothing wrong with that... but just for the good balance you would want to have some more men to flirt or chat with. It's just more interesting," she laughs.

While more boys are born in Latvia than girls, the balance shifts dramatically in adulthood.

Women are finding it harder to meet a partner with an equal level of education A high early male mortality rate means that there are 8% more women than men in the country.

In the busy entry hall of the University of Latvia, Riga, the gender imbalance is visible.

According to sociologist and lecturer Baiba Bela, there are 50% more women enrolled there than men.

She says this means that women often find it harder to find a partner with an equal level of education.

And by the time women want to settle down, men are dying younger and are four times more likely to commit suicide.

"The first time the gender imbalance appears is between 30 and 40," Baiba explains.

"In this age group the mortality for men is three times higher than the same age group for women."

"Car driving, alcoholism and accidents in the workplace are mainly riskier for men than for women," she adds.

Among the under-30s, there are almost 9,000 more men than women. But between the ages of 30-39, there are almost 3,000 more women than men.

Women live 11 years longer than men, the highest disparity of life expectancy between the sexes in the EU.

'Macho' culture

Where men do outnumber women, however, is in Riga's many sports bars.

Some experts believe Latvia's transition to capitalism is a factor in the shortage Agris Rieksts, a 28-year-old software engineer, says there is still a macho culture in Latvia which encourages risky behaviour, such as fast driving, smoking and especially heavy drinking.

"It is kind of perceived that it is manly, that the more alcohol you can handle, the more of a man you are," he says.

"Everybody understands that it is kind of absurd. But it is still there."

Psychoanalyst Ansis Stabingis, who treats men for depression and suicidal tendencies, says Latvia's transition to capitalism 20 years ago suddenly put massive pressures on men to succeed financially.

The economic crisis, which has pushed unemployment up to 20%, has made those ambitions even more unattainable.

As a result, according to the Latvian government, when the crisis hit in 2008, suicide levels which were already one of the highest in the EU, went up by 16%.

"There are demands about how [men] should live. And if they cannot meet those standards, they… fall into depression," Ansis says.

"And then they start to use some alcohol or some gambling because they cannot solve that problem," he adds.

Currently, more than 80% of suicide deaths are men.

Ansis believes that Latvian women sometimes prove more resilient when faced with a desperate situation. They are more likely than men to ask for professional help.

And with the highest rate of single mothers in the EU, he says women tend to keep going for the sake of their children.

Husband material

But looking after a family alone can also make it more difficult to find a partner.

Dace Ruksane has spent her career looking long and hard at the issue.

She is seen by many to be the Latvian version of fictional character Carrie Bradshaw from Sex And The City. She is a sex columnist, author, and editor-in-chief of one of the country's most successful women's magazines, Lilit.

"The smartest girls are alone. The really beautiful girls are alone - if they are smart," Dace says.

"They want to find partners who are equal to them. But a man, having all this choice, doesn't need to be very perfect.

"He just sits in front of the TV and knows he can get a woman. And if she doesn't suit him, he will get another.

"Smart women simply don't want to have such men as their partners," she adds.

may be im different but my partner said to me when i was in estonia before i met the now mother of my children that you have a house car and job so you will do until i find something better she was homeless 2 hrs later but if this is accepted then ofcourse they will do it

~no one important
[30.04.2012, 01:53]

Most Estonian woman (maybe also Latvian and Lithuanian women) are unable to give unconditional love and confidence to a man.
Usuallly the conditions which women seek are tied solely to economic improvement.

~mees
[22.02.2012, 19:21]

Relationships in the Baltics can easily turn into pesky situations, specifically in Estonia, where casual sex is quite popular and the divorce rate at nearby 70% and highest among EU27 (in compare to the other Baltics, where large amount of their population is Catholic and much more conservative in this regard). Generally I don't care about views of other how they are going to manage their relationships, but I've seen to many times these type of relationships in Estonia that are simplified unreliable and and lack of respect (e.g. girl is flirting with other guys meanwhile their 'actual' boyfriend/ husband is standing five meters next to them and the girls wouldn't agree to anything that would make their relationship unflexible, in other words keep them in an 'open' status). Estonia may be an ideal destination for the sex tourists, but for serious relationships this not the ideal place and certainly not in Night Clubs in downtown of Tallinn. The so called Russian speaking girls are a bit different case, but they typically expect a return of their investment, so to speak. Anyway, Tallinn is a good place to find more decent girls from Nordic countries, however (and I mean excluding Estonia). Just my observations to dissolve some illusions in regards of 'quality' of this "biggest exporting product of the balts", if you will. Other question: Why this story is up for years for now?