Sometimes we think the E! camera operators are deliberately fucking with us. It always seems like they shoot the really fucked up dresses from an angle that gets you to think they’re normal, and just as you’re about to type “Zoe Saldana’s dress looks kind of pretty and interesting #GoldenGlobes,” BAM:

You get the full picture. The full, what-the-hell-am-I-looking-at Frankendress picture.

It totally looks like the designer had some sort of temper tantrum midway through sketching the look and some poor pattern maker and seamstress had to figure it out. Or no; it looks like a Project Runway challenge where the designer had to make the top half of a garment and then they had to hand it off to … we don’t know… a crazy person? And they get to finish it.

The top half really is kind of pretty in an interesting way. We don’t mind going an unexpected route for the bottom half, but this really looks silly. And while we have no idea what kind of shoe should be worn with such an insane skirt, we’re pretty sure it’s not that one.

We used to think of her as a fashionista, but now we put her in the same category as Kate Bosworth; someone who used to hold that title but now has way more misses than hits in her style choices.

Yes, I agree. Also love the little purse but hate the shoes, they don’t even match.

EveEve

Halle Berry (who is sadly missed on the red carpet lately) would have rocked the top half. The remainder is unsalvageable. TLO don’t often cross-reference Project Runway in their red carpet posts, but this one was spot on.

TheDivineMissAnn

The back of this thing was absolutely hiddy.

KateShouldBeWorking

The worst thing is is that you can tell Zoe knows this is a train wreck.

lunchcoma

Though that makes me wonder when she knew and if anything could have been done. If that thing were mine, I think I might have been tempted to take some scissors to the bottom part, whether I owned it or not.

butterflysunita

The expression on her face in the second photo is: “I dare you to laugh.”

Sobaika

A hex was clearly put on Zoe by the Nina Simone estate.

Introspective

FTW!!!!! not for nothing, i believe in shit like this. Zoe’s style seriously started to go wonky roughly around when the behind the scenes shots of her in blackface, w the afro wig and prosthetic nose started to circulate.

i see nina and her 4 women somewhere in the beyond just putting together scores of root boxes with zoe’s name on it. not till every last inch of film is burned will her fall from fashion grace end…

Rand Ortega

American Horror Story: Coven Part 2.

alyce1213

A hex by the Nina SImone estate is nuthin’ — with the unnecessary remake of Rosemary’s Baby just announced, she’s really in for it.

KinoEye

Uhhh… there’s a remake. Of Rosemary’s Baby. My day’s only just beginning, and I think that’ll be the worst thing I hear.

bitchybitchybitchy

Oh, lord, a remake of Rosemary’s Baby is in the works? I can only begin to contemplate the horror that will be-but let’s have some fun with it-who shall the BK’s cast?

KinoEye

Hmmmm. What about Ellen Burstyn for Minnie? For Roman… an obvious choice perhaps, but Christopher Lee or someone in that older, dignified, slightly ominous European mold? Perhaps one of those great B-movie actors who hasn’t had work in years. I’m struggling with Guy… maybe Peter Sarsgaard? He’s very good at the whole latent douchebag thing. Obviously Zoe is Rosemary, which I find odd. As far as I’ve seen of her work, vulnerable and terrified isn’t really her thing. But who knows?

Oh god. Just looked it up, and not only is it a remake, it’s a made-for-television mini-series. Why did anyone think this was a good idea? Oh, wait. It’s NBC. Never mind.

bitchybitchybitchy

A mini-series?EW. I like Ellen Burstyn for Minnie, and Peter Saarsgaard for the husband. He is quite good at being a louche douchebag. For Roman, maybe Klaus Maria Brandauer-he’s got that Mittel-Europa smarmy charm factor, maybe Christoph Walz or Ian McKellen….

KinoEye

I’m not familiar with Brandauer, but based on looks alone, he’s great! But we’re in fantasy land here. An NBC miniseries probably wouldn’t even shell out for Burstyn, let alone the others. It’s gonna be bad.

bitchybitchybitchy

So true about NBC not willing to shell out $$$ for big name actors. They’ll probably test with focus groups to see which current actors their audience wants to see. As long as we’re in fantasyland, let’s modestly suggest that this could be NBC’s next musical…”Rosemary and Her Amazing Satanic Spawn”

alyce1213

I’m so sorry to tell you that.

KinoEye

It’s all good, alyce! Finding out the bad news from a fellow BK makes it somehow easier to stomach.

Rand Ortega

Especially after they got 1 look at Lupita.
(I am officially ceasing the use of Lupita’s last name as surely everyone knows who she is ala Cher, Gaga or Madonna)

SpillinTea

Comment of the night. 10s across the board for you girl!

anneland

When I saw her presenting I thought, “Hummm, don’t like that. But I actually kind of like the full dress. It’s F’ed up in a pretty way. I have a lot of contrarian opinions today because I thought Lena D was pretty good (totally graded on her own curve) and that Lupita’s dress (while impeccably fit and lovely) was kinda boring.

Carrie

Didn’t she that she’s friends with the designer and that it was made for her or something like that? If so, she needs new friends because thst was just a bizzare piece that didn’t look good on the model either.

Sobaika

Well, if it appeared on the runway I don’t think it was made specifically for her. I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Dunham.

KateShouldBeWorking

I read – albeit, not heard from Zoe – the same thing. It seems odd but perhaps it was done far in advance.

Richelle Devereaux-Murray

Zoe said on the E! red carpet that the designer called her and said he made it for her, because of that she knew she had to wear it because of how honored she was.

demidaemon

He just said that because he knew that was the only way this dress would ever be seen on the RC.

Rand Ortega

HAHAHAHAHAHA! There’s a sucker born…

jenno1013

So it’s not that she’s lost her fashionista cred, it’s that she’s lost her backbone. The one that would stand up to Prabal Gurung and say, “I love you but hell no…next time you design with me in mind, EDIT.”

http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

It’s the Seinfeld Puffy Shirt of dresses. She just didn’t know what she was promising. Like when you tell your aunt that her daughter can sing at your wedding.

marlie

If he did design this specifically with her in mind, she couldn’t have worn it to a lower profile event? Or said “Prabal, sweetie, I’ll wear THIS dress to XX party, but I really want to wear THAT dress over there to the Golden Globes.”

Edited: Typo.

Little_Olive

Yes! She said Prabal Gurung made it thinking of her. If that’s not the definition of a rich people problem, I don’t know what is… although I give her it must not be easy to figure out what the hell to do when a designer says that and sends you what seems to be his school project.
Cute top-of-the-top, though.

Mary229

LOL. “The definition of a rich people problem” indeed.

Aurumgirl

That may be what she thinks but that designer loathes her.

@Biting Panda

Frankendresses are her “of course”.

demidaemon

So does that make her “The Bride of Frankendress?”

Rand Ortega

“Rosemary’s Frankendress”.

@Biting Panda

Oh fuck yeah, it does!

jen_vasm

Yeah. Zoe’s fashion sense has clearly fallen off. Sad.

Blair Sylvester

I feel like when stars get a fashionista reputation they, their people, and designers take that as license to put them in anything and wait for the hosannas come in and they do for awhile until their fashionista rep starts to get undermined

demidaemon

You’re probably right.

marlie

The designers start to act like she can make ANY shit dress work. They’re wrong.

Scimommy

I has such a sad that she seems to have lost her fashion mojo. I used to love seeing her fierce her way out of the most ridiculous getups, but no more… This just looks ridiculous, no fierceness in sight.

xmixiex

What the actual fuck?

Clueless_Jock

Really interesting style choice. I don’t think it looks bad on her.

EEKstl

Another, like Sandra Bullock’s, which works on her from the waist (as opposed to hemline) up, but that’s as far as it goes. And Pet Peeve Alert: The pink of the shoes doesn’t match the pink of the dress (shoes have a touch more salmon). Grrrrrrrrrr.

Evan

The whole thing looks like a crafts project to me. It also gives me a tooth ache.

misstressofsylar

Listening to her interview, I felt like she was emotionally blackmailed by PG. You’re better than this Zoe!

GeoDiva

Will someone please revoke her fashion card?

Miss_Led

You didn’t even show the BACK, wherein the zipper is as horrifying as if a drunk high schooler inserted it.

MK03

Me scrolling down: “Oh, that’s pretty–OH COME ON.”

marlie

Scrolldown WTF, for sure.

Glam Dixie

Oh dear, scroll down what the fuck.

Jonquil

The ultimate Frankendress. God help us all.

Jessica Freeman

It is interesting for all the wrong reasons.

teensmom99

Glad I didn’t read this in public, because I started to laugh so hard that people might think I’M the crazy person.

filmcricket

I never understood her fashionista cred and I’m glad to see others are beginning to see that the Empress has no clothes. That said, no one could save this, so I don’t fault her for not being able to carry it off, just for choosing it in the first place.

Mary229

I think she is pulling it off better than some would. To be honest , I think a lot of her “cred” came from the fact that she’s just super skinny and therefore got away with wearing weirder things. I’ve always been hit or miss with her style. Also, as much as I’m repugnant towards the notion that women need to “smile” more in public….I love her smile and I wish she would smile more.

filmcricket

Agreed on almost all of this, yes.

charlotte

Ugliest dress of the evening.

kimmeister

There was another contender for me, Emma Stone. Although I guess those were separates rather than a dress.

Introspective

paula patton, emma stone, zoe saldana… girl it was a veritable ugly-off last nite. i cannot for the life of me understand why.

largishbearishAtlish

sorry, just went blind for a moment when I mentally combined paula patton and this train wreck. Thank you T’lo for this FULL shot of this dress, seeing this from the waist up I found the dress really annoying, now seeing it all the way day down? I utterly totally hate it. When my old bassett hound was 17 she would wet the bed, I used a shower curtain on the bed to keep it dry….. I think this dress was an even WORSE use of a shower curtain.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

What shoes to wear? Basic slippers from the funny farm.

Betsy

Amen, boys! This is definitely a Franken-dress. Nice bodice (trying NOT to twitch about the floppy off-shoulder “straps”), but THAT SKIRT ! ? ! ? ! Why???

d4divine

………………………………………………………….oh my

Fred Vaughn

Trashay!!

bitchybitchybitchy

So, sash-ay away, Ms. Zoe!

Jean Beaton Leavitt

I don’t like the “straps” but everything else is really beautiful..a minimalist shoe in black.

Janice Bartels

How did I get this far down before someone mentioned those droopy faux bra straps???

HM3

This dress is the work of Satan.

decormaven

That’s not a dress, it’s some flotsam and jetsam that’s circling the drain.

ginger

Scrap sweepings from the atelier floor…

http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

It’s like the black dress ate the pink dress and vomited out sparkles.

http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

Oooof. No.

LeelaST

Hate those droopy straps too. Ugh. Frankendress is right.

Lune

I will never understand the whole “let’s throw umpteen different fabrics together like a crazy quilt!” school of design.

bitchybitchybitchy

It’s a new bad fashion problem, also known as Peter Pilotto Syndrome.

nannypoo

I was thinking the same thing – she used to nail it every time but lately she can’t seem to find a decent dress. What happened?

jw_ny

you know there’s something wrong with Zoe when even Julia is dressed better than her. what a disappointment.

Rand Ortega

Never has a smile said, “Whoever talked me into this is going to die” like Zoe Saldana’s.

bitchybitchybitchy

Too many elements in one dress, and the result is a mess. Sorry to see Zoe in this, because she’s worn better.

Sunraya

It would be lovely without that window in the front. Just bizarre.

http://stylishsass.blogspot.com/ Terri Smith

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

murt

I like it in an ’80s Molly Ringwald way.

filmcricket

It is absolutely the closest thing I’ve ever seen to the Pretty in Pink dress.

Call me Bee

Yes–and not in a good way.

MartyBellerMask

I love you right now.

Introspective

this feels drug induced.

Jacob Bowen

The top is actually KIND of pretty…but pretty as in gay toddler wanted to put EVERY sparkly bow on the present he was wrapping. The bottom was created by a split personality seamstress. Both of her personalities had too many ideas.

demidaemon

So, it was Chloe Sevigny?

MilaXX

or an alter.

demidaemon

I thought that was the same thing?

MilaXX

touché

Evan

I think the designer just took ever shiny material and object in sight, haphazardly put them together and was like, “Magnifique!” Lol

PastryGoddess

agreed, she is selling the hell out of a fugly dress.

Sorry Zoe, not even your posing and cheek bones can make this dress work

demidaemon

The sad thing is this: This got a best dressed from some websites I will not name. Clearly, their selectors are blind.

bitchybitchybitchy

Last night when Mr. B3 and I were watching Fashion Police and Kelly Osbourne opined that she liked this dress Mr.B3 immediately began yelling at Osbourne-what he said isn’t printable….

formerlyAnon

Slightly off-topic, I find it six kinds of adorable that Mr.B3 not only watches Fashion Police but yells at the commentators when they deserve it.

bitchybitchybitchy

Thanks!

Judy_S

I like the Project Runway idea but I think that the point of the challenge was that Designer 2, who worked on the bottom half, was supposed to figure out a way to auf Designer 1, who had worked so hard on the top half.

e jerry powell

Are the rumors true that Gurung actually pursued Saldana to wear this one?

Little_Olive

I was so waiting for this. It’s the grownup version of Elle Fanning’s hideous Prada dress. And it ain’t pretty this time either.

Carly Clement

I think if she wore this dress to a different event, maybe like a MTV movie awards, with different hair it would work so much better, and her body looks pretty good in it!!!

Is Frederick’s of Hollywoods still in business? I hope she was very very drunk all evening and has no memory of this. Oops, shit, there are pictures. Sorry love.

SewingSiren

I don’t hate it as much as I should. In fact I kind of like it (maybe just on Zoe though). In some angles it looks like the footlights are part of the dress, that of course would be a bridge too far.

formerlyAnon

I can’t hate it even though it looks thoroughly mistaken from virtually any angle, simply because if you break it down into component parts, there’s so much fabric there that is crying out to be a beautiful piece of textile art. Shiny bauble-iness notwithstanding. (ETA: and I have a mild prejudice against pink, and I still can’t really hate.)

Sarah

Considering how cray that dress is, I would maybe like it a little better if those sparklies lit up like the novelty Xmas lights they look like.

MilaXX

I posted earlier today that Zoe appears to have lost her fashion mojo. Consider this exhibit A. It’s a PR challenge where the designer starts the dress and a 5 year old from a special pilot program at Parson’s finishes the dress. The catch is the 5 year olds are using glue and frou frou from the leftover bins at Mood.

Lori

The folks at Parson’s need to use this dress to explain “over-designed” to the first years. That way some good can come from this fiasco.

PeaceBang

I’m going to start a social justice movement against these dresses.

formerlyAnon

We’ll meet in Friends’ (Quaker) meeting houses.

greymain

at least she opted out for that pepto bismol lipcolor the model was wearing. 1 point for that.

ailujailuj

kinda looks like she went rummaging through the bins behind Macy’s gift-wrapping department.

pookiesmom

HIDEOUS. I don’t even like this from the waist up. Those jewel flowers or whatever look like a craft project from kindergarden.

Anna_Cecilia

This is the lingerie that Andie Walsh wore when she decided tonight would be the night with Blane McDonnagh.

formerlyAnon

That’s a lot of effing gorgeous textiles poorly deployed.

conniemd

Yes, isn’t that the definition of Frankendress? Poorly pieced together components.

ms_kat

It’s a magpie dress (where birds keep throwing ugly shiny shit at fabric). And I HATE not only the hem, but how crappy a job someone did on the hem. Gross.

lesmaha

She said in her interview that PG made this dress for her. Does he hate her now? Cause that dress is crazy cray.

quiltrx

It looks like someone repurposed numerous prom dresses, with the assistance of a stapler.

Natalie

SO bad. I would take Julia’s shirt misstep over this thing any day.

lifeisastory

I am especially puzzled by the whateverthatis on her hip. It’s like they glued the beads on and then she went through a wind tunnel and most of them blew off. In fact, the whole dress looks it was intended to be something else, but some act of God or nature had its way with the garment before she got out of the limo.

Kimberlini

First Sandra Bullock, now Zoe Saldana. Is the Frankendress the theme of Prabal Garung’s 2014 Spring line? To cut him some slack, so many of the GG dresses looked like PR rejects including that hideous yellow dress from Zac Posen on Lena Dunham.

MzzPants

She lost me at the boobs with cat ears.

Closet Crisis

(sharp intake of horror)… this dress reminds me of the cartoon “Gem”, like one of the animation artists went on to become a dress designer and thought “hey, I never got to use this sketch for the show, let’s put it on a real person”…

bertkeeter

Perplexing…that such a stunning woman so often makes the decision to wear absolute crap! I just don’t get it?

Jeanettesca

My daughter once made a similar dress for her Barbie. She was six and had only my fabric scraps to work with and yet I think her version somehow turned out better than this.

guest2visits

Pretty fabrics. I like the pairing of that embellished sheer with the top fabric…. but I can’t with all the rest.
This was really beautiful til it got weird.

MannahattaMamma

that style (using the term loosely here) of shoulder strap (also using the term loosely) makes my eyes twitch b/c all i want to do is slip that useless band o’fabric up on her shoulder where it (theoretically) belongs. ARGH

bitchybitchybitchy

That droopy shoulder strap is making its way on to my personal list of fashion crimes, just a bit behind granny panties and sheer skirts over said panties.

Raymond Dnomyar

Oh Zoe… what happened to you?

MM4321

I want to feed her a cheeseburger SO bad.

demidaemon

Did anyone see Fashion Police tonight and how much everyone loved this dress? So much crack! Thank god for Joan and her visual representation of this dress.

Tatiana Luján

They also loved Kerry Washington’s Frankendress last year.

DeTrop

I watched FP and was surprised how all but Joan raved about this dress. Maybe it lost something on camera????

bitchybitchybitchy

I often find their opinions puzzling, and wonder how much depends on their personal love for the celebs wearing the dresses.
Joan nailed it, though.

demidaemon

So true. I wish I could have that as a gif to post every time we see a Frankendress.

Mary229

This is a train wreck but I kind of think she pulls it off ? Am I the only one?

carnush

Nope, I agree!

Diego!

WORST dress on the RC. THE WORST. Girl take it out and throw it in the garbage basket!

Tatiana Luján

I hink the top is tacky, in a Hello Kitty kind ofway. And the whole dress is just an ugly mess.

LaDonna Carpenter

In the Tim Gunn Encyclopedia under “Overworked” there is a picture of this dress along with the reference “See also Learning to Edit Your Work”.

MW

This is just asking to be on this year’s list of worst red carpets looks. So much going on and NONE of it is working.

Errick Loyola

Nightmare.

hmariec19

I think I just had a stroke.

MoHub

Lovely down to the hips, and then—

kt

Unfortunately she is on my IHL, mainly for her public persona. She’s a bit of a blow hard, (see her red carpet interview) “Oh this is from my good friend Prabal, and this is from my good friend Lorraine…” Sweetheart have you seen a mirror? They are not your friends.

MartyBellerMask

Swarovski fleurchons.

bitchybitchybitchy

Fleurchons-shades of season three of PR, and Angela’s wickety-whack creations!

MartyBellerMask

Exaaaaaaackly

marlie

This was a massive fail of epic proportions. Easily the ugliest dress of the night, and that’s including Paula Patton’s abomination. I hate everything about this. And does it look like there’s a tire tread skid mark across her torso?

CatherineRhodes

Hard to imagine looking at that dress on a hanger and saying, “Yes, that’s what I’ll wear to the Golden Globes.”

bouionice

Totally agree. They never showed the dress full length so I didn’t realize how awful it was until I saw the photos on Monday.

Liz Lake

I heard some whack-a-doo story about how the designer was like…. “No one shall wear this dress on the red carpet but you, Zoe Saldana”. So she was all. “How can you say NO to that!?”. I just am baffled. How does this come from the same designer who cloaked Lupita the goddess of WERQing the red carpet in that gorgeous cape dress at the same award show. What did Zoe do to Prabal? Why does Prabal hate Zoe so much!?

alyce1213

Lupita wore Ralph Lauren. (Or did I misunderstand what you were saying?)

Liz Lake

I misread a link taking it back to Lupita at the 2013 AMPA Governor’s Award. I was going to say. That is one sweeping red carpet dichotomy. My mistake. Although I am sure Zoe still wishes she was rocking a killer look like Lupita. Remember when Zoe used to make good fashion choices. Those were the days.

alyce1213

Oh, yeah, she used to — but there’s speculation on this site that a hex has been put upon her.

msdamselfly

When I saw it on the runway, she looked beautiful. I ‘m thinking that these photos are just unflattering

ChristopherM

This mess looks like it was made by Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink out of a slip, an old bridesmaids dress, and a bunch of vintage earrings. Fug.

snark fan

I was thinking “it looks like something Nina Garcia would scowl at on Project Runway” and then TLO said it… or a “you need to incorporate five different fabrics, three colors and these random gemstones from a party store” challenge

Call me Bee

This whole thing is a “no”. Joan Rivers described it as, “Project Runway’s Blind Challenge.” Which describes it perfectly.

susan6

Yeah….she basically didn’t have a choice; the designer specifically told her “I made this dress for you and only you to wear.” How do you politely say no to that? Time for a strategically spilled glass of wine. Whoops! Need another dress.

alyce1213

it’s not a Peter Pilotto, but it’s another “Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey” dress.
Take a dress form, some scraps, trimmings, pins, put on a blindfold, and there you go — red carpet ready.

Danielle

A classic scrolldown fug. Sheesh.

mdcoon127

You just agreed with Joan Rivers on this dress, but others on that show and I disagree…it flowed well when she walked in, she werq’d it.

GillianHolroyd

I love the textiles, I love combinations of textiles and I love this dress although I wish it were floor length.