Connection In Dance Flows to my Soul

Mark [0:00] Welcome, Chloe. I’ve known Chloe Janev for many years and I felt from the time I met Chloe, that she was connected to life and the universe. She was really switched on, I would call her quite awakened for her age. Chloe ran a dance studio for almost 10 years and is currently a stay at home mum to a beautiful two-year-old toddler and four other lovely children. She is a beautiful mum. It’s a wonderful opportunity to welcome you to have a conversation on the Heart of Connection podcast. Thank you, Chloe.

Chloe [0:36] Thank you so much for having me, Mark.

Mark [0:39] So just by way of introduction, is there anything further that you would like to add to your introduction. Is there something I’ve missed – that’s of significance – or importance to that I’ve missed?

Chloe[ 0:51] I think that’s pretty good.

Mark [0:55] The idea of the conversation, is to talk about the Heart of Connection to Self, Others and ‘All That Is.’ When you hear that, what does it – what resonates with you? What does it and where do you go with it? What happens to you and what do you experience when you hear that title?

My Connection to Self, Others & ‘All That Is’

Chloe [1:17] I think it’s about how we connect to ourselves, firstly, and then how we relate that to the people around us and the world around us, the universe?

Mark [1:27] How do you connect to yourself? As a busy mum, sometimes mums have to let go of their needs and allow the Divine Mother energy through. Their connection to that, to be constantly getting up and meeting their needs. In that process, how do you connect to yourself?

Chloe [1:50] I think sometimes it’s just taking even a second through the day. To feel what I’m feeling, rather than what’s happening around me. That’s a kind of check in with yourself and go, I’m feeling like this right now, because of – or even maybe not knowing why, but just acknowledging that you feel a certain way.

Connection to My Body

Mark [2:10] What do you notice in your body when you feel a certain way?

Chloe [2:14] I actually feel a lot of things in my body. So, even black blockages of energy or stored energy. Sometimes numbness, or heavy feelings, or sometimes just lightness Yeah. I feel a lot through my body.

Mark [2:32] As a dancer, you would?

Dance is my Connection to flow

Chloe [2:34] Yeah, I think that’s where I come from.

Mark [2:38] When you connect, do you reach a point where, through the connection is this incredible flows, and it just makes life so easy?

Chloe [2:50] Yeah, I do and often, it just comes from nowhere. So it can stay around for a long period of time or it will come in short bursts and disappeared.

Mark [3:01] Yeah, everything’s of impermanence. Even that we have to let go of. It’s an amazing connection when we get that flow, isn’t it? It’s just like, wow, it’s like all the dominoes keep toppling over.

Chloe [3:15] Yes.

Mark [3:17] When it gets heavy what do you notice? Is there a disconnect from that flow in that connection?

Disconnection to my Flow

Chloe [3:25] Yes. There’s definitely a disconnection with me. Sometimes my thoughts, but sometimes just like a disconnection in my body. I don’t feel like myself or something doesn’t feel like it would if I was feeling connected.

Mark [3:42] Is that a sign to let you know that something surfacing that I need to re-look at?

Chloe [3:49] Yes. There’s are emotions coming up about something. Whether or not I know what it is at that point of time. Sometimes that hits me a few hours later or a day later, or you feel that way for a little while? Then you go – this is why? Subconsciously, there’s something going on that hasn’t come to the surface that I’m aware of yet.

Connection to what my emotions need

Mark [4:21] Sometimes when we’re in that heavy stuff, we don’t have a lot of energy left do we? It’s not a really nice place. How do you recognise it? Hold the space? Are you able to give it at least 10% of loving-kindness or a presence to it?

Chloe [4:43] Yeah, I usually can for the most part, I think with a bit of practice. Just checking in and sometimes just sitting with that feeling and knowing that if I let myself feel that, it’ll pass when it’s ready.

Connection to my Body’s Holding Patterns

Mark [5:00] What happens in your body when it’s there? What do you notice? Is there particular holding patterns in your body?

Chloe [5:05] Yeah. So I noticed that my arms and legs start to feel quite heavy. Also, if I’m feeling kind of quiet down, I feel like I hold lots in my lower back. Just that – it’s really heavy. Heaviness in my body.

Mark [5:28] Would you dance it out?

Connection to Dance is a Release

Chloe [5:30] Yeah. So, I think I’m a lot of that is that I’m not dancing now, as much as what I used to. It use to be least a six-day a week type of thing. Now it’s just – whenever I can get the kids in the lounge room to have a bit of a dance with me. I think making and having movements to flow that energy through is really something that has always made me feel better.

Mark [5:57] Is it like a release?

Chloe [5:58] Yeah. Definitely.

Mark [6:00] What do you notice happens in your body? Once you’ve had that release, are you reconnecting back into your body in a different way?

Chloe [6:07] Yeah. And I just feel more life but grounded at the same time.

Release & Letting Go Connects my Grounding

Mark [6:15] What happens in your body? What do you notice happens in your body when you feel more grounded and more light?

Chloe [6:21] In my body I just feel better about myself and about everything really. In my mind, emotionally, I just feel better as well.

Connecting to my Creativity of light

Chloe [6:55] Yes and I’m more creative when I’m feeling like that. I am less creative when not inflow. I’ve always been like that, I think.

Mark [7:03] So the connection and the flow opens up the creative channels to allow the creativity to just come through without judgment or criticism? Just there?

Chloe [7:15] Yes.

Mark [7:16] Do you notice a difference with your connection to others when you’re switched on or not switched on it? Is there a difference in connection to others?

Connecting to my disconnection

Chloe [7:27 ] Yeah. So if I’m feeling disconnected, I’m less likely to feel like – I am happy to have people in my bubble, but their too close to me. So I sort of shut off a bit. I feel like I don’t want anyone close to me for a while. Then I’m okay again. Compared to normally, when I think my love language is definitely physical touch. So, that for me is like a strong sign that I’m feeling disconnected.

Mark [7:58] When you notice that disconnection, and your just closing off momentarily. It that a process for you to nurture you? Give back to you? To that part of you, that’s needing that connection.

Chloe [8:14] Yes. I think it’s kind of a moment to go, hey, you need to align yourself again a bit because something’s not right.

My Disconnection a sign to Align

Mark [8:23] I think we naturally do need to connect and disconnect a little bit and then reconnect. When you’re in connection, and your flows there, what do you notice happens with your connection to others?

Chloe [8:37] I think I’m a lot more connected and a lot more loving. I feel like I just have a lot more to give and that my heart’s more open to things rather than just shutting off to protect myself, I guess.

Mark [8:48] How do people? What do you notice? How do people respond to your open heartedness and that energy that’s flowing from you? Do they resonate? Do you experience a resignation with that?

Chloe [8:58] Yes. I think definitely when I’m feeling a certain way. Our children as a whole are so much more – they just a mirror of us. A reflection of us, and I can really see that in our kids.

Our Children a Connection Mirror

Mark [9:15] What do you see? (Laughter)

Chloe [9:20] Some good mood swings? (Laughter)

Mark [9:26] Children are developing all their personality traits in a family. We will see the nice side and then the protective side of themselves. Do you think they mirror you a lot? Or are they mirroring your energy? Do they sync to your energy?

Chloe [9:46] I think as we are a pretty big family, I guess. They are mirroring each other a lot of the times, but of course, me being around them so much as well.

Connection to my Divine Mother within

Mark [9:59] What’s it like for the Divine Mother to connect to that beautiful energy of your children?

Chloe [10:09] Beautiful. Loving?

Mark [10:11] Do you just melt away in it?

Chloe [10:12] Yeah, totally

Mark [10:14] What a gift? It’s a deep love, isn’t it?

Divine Mother Love is Deep Love

Chloe [10:17] So deep yes.

Mark [10:20] Wish we could bottle that? What happens to you when you experience that melting deep love? Does your body just shine? Is your whole being – Is there like cellular radiation of all that?

Chloe [10:43] Yeah, I think that’s what it feels like, yes. Just radiating love rather than something else.

Mark [10:54] When you are in that space, what do you notice happens with the children?

Chloe [11:01] They’re much more content. Happy, easy-going, things just seem easier for them and for us.

Mark [11:08] Your connections to others when you’re in that space, do they move out to them as well?

Connecting to my Sensitivity

Chloe [11:14] Yes. I’ve always been someone who takes things to heart as well. So quite sensitive. So even when I’m feeling better about myself, or better about situations, then if I’m feeling more positive, then I’m less likely to even be so sensitive and take things to heart. Not that that’s a bad thing but I can flip it to a positive rather than just seeing it as a negative about me.

Mark [11:45] When you in that flow, and there’s the connection, that deep connection. What does that deep connection and flow do for the sensitive side of you your heart?

Chloe [11:58] I think it just makes me feel more myself.

Mark [12:04] Is it giving love, to the sensitive side you? Is it your love giving it love?

Chloe [12:09] I’d say so.

Loving & Nurturing our Sensitivity

Mark [12:11]It’s powerful, isn’t it? I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a sensitive side, delicate little Vegemite. I’ve noticed the more I learned to meet it, learn to be the present to it and hold it. It’s like giving it, the connection that it wanted back then but didn’t get. A building or being a being present to it. It’s like wow, it’s like it dissolves and it floats away. We can become really centred. What other things do you do to help with connections? Do you get out in nature?

Chloe [12:58] Yes, I am actually an Earth sign. I actually find, but not that I’m outside a lot. I feel like being out amongst trees, in the dirt makes me happy.

Mark [13:11] Does it ground you?

Chloe [13:12] Yes. Definitely.

Connection to Our Family Affirmations

Chloe [13:15] As well as words. I like using affirmations for myself or for the children?

Mark [13:23] What’s the favorite affirmation that resonates for you the most? Do you mind sharing that?

Chloe [13:29] Yeah. So um,

I think at the moment up on the wall at the moment, we’ve actually got, “I’m loving to myself and others.” So it’s going around, doing the rounds with the kids and us as well.

Mark [13:43] Great! Do you call each other out on it? (Laughter)

Chloe [13:48] There are lots of calling out in our house I think. (Laughter)

Mark [13:52] Your typical family by the sounds of it. (Laughter) Thanks.

Chloe [13:55] Thanks. We like to think so.

Mark [14:00] What a lovely thing to have on the wall for everybody to have it’s like a family affirmation. Sometimes, when we’re struggling, we’re hitting suffering and disconnecting? I don’t know about you, but probably don’t feel too loving at that time. How do you remind yourself to connect to at least 10%? of loving-kindness in that space?

My Emotions are asking me to Connect

Chloe [14:28] Sometimes it creeps up on me I think. I don’t remind myself but then something happens, that I need to remind myself. By feeling or a bad day or bad nigh or just having emotions come up. I then realising ‘oh hey,’ I haven’t checked in and see how I feel for a while. It presents itself in another way if I don’t.

Mark [14:54] So it’s like your emotions are asking you to connect to them?

Chloe [14:58] Yeah.

Mark [15:02] What are they needing?

Chloe [15:04] Some attention, I think.

Mark [15:07] Do they come out of the rabbit hole and ‘here I am again, look at me’. So to speak?

Chloe [15:13] Yeah, I think that’s how it happens.

Connecting & Healing our Wounds

Mark [15:17] I’m wondering whether we’re more we connect to that stuff. Whilst we don’t like the connection to it. The more we do connect, I’m wondering whether it gets a bit easier?

Chloe [15:27] I think so.

Mark [15:28] I know what this is, so to speak?

Chloe [15:30] I think so yeah.

Mark [15:31] It’s back (Laughter)

Chloe [15:34] I think as soon as we start to feel a certain way, or have an emotion that we’re feeling really strong, we go ‘I know what this is now’. I need to do whatever it is, rather than not knowing and not knowing how to deal with it when it feels really strong and intense.

Mark [15:54] Through the connection to others. Do go beyond that to the connection to ‘All That Is’?

Chloe [16:01] Yeah.

My Connection to the ‘All That Is’

Mark [16:03] What happens for you when you hit that space or open to the ‘All That Is’?

Chloe [16:11] So I think I’ve done a lot of questioning about this. A lot of wondering, questioning, and going through all of that. The few years really, but also just knowing or feeling in my gut that there is more than what’s just in front of us from a day today. Knowing that we might not know everything about it, but feeling that there is a more.

Mark [16:43] When you connect to that feeling, what do you experience?

Chloe [16:50] Sometimes contentment, and sometimes a little bit, I wouldn’t say frightened, but it could be sometimes. Yeah.

Mark [16:58] Too good to be true so to speak (Laughter). Sometimes when we have that amazing connection to the ‘All That Is’, it’s like we’re pinching ourselves. I’m wondering whether the intellectual brain just starts going a bit haywire because it’s not sure how to manage this – as for it, one plus one’s not equalling two here.

Chloe [17:17] Yes.

Mark [17:19] If we trust that space. When do you notice the connection to ‘All That Is’ the most? What – is it when you’re outside? Is it when you’re in Divine Mother, what might it be for you?

Connection to our daughter Winter

Chloe [17:33] Probably outside in nature, I’d say actually. Even thinking back to when I was a child. I wouldn’t be outside a lot but I’d be outside when I felt like I needed to be outside. It’s probably how I still actually am in nature. So, then one of our children passed away in 2016. Just knowing, often when I’m thinking about her, I’ll have warm feelings come over my body. I know that there are other realms that still connect with us.

Mark [18:12] Other realms ~ so she’s still there.

Chloe [18:14] Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Mark [18:16] She’s out there and you can connect to her in the ‘All That Is’?

Chloe [18:20] Yeah.

Healing is Our Connection to Winter

Mark [18:21] Wow, what a beautiful gift. How healing is that for you?

Chloe [18:28] That’s been really healing yeah. Just to sit with those feelings as they come up and process them as I can. A lot of the time things come up again, and again until it passes, and then something else will come up. It’s just kind of – it really is a journey through loss and healing yeah.

Mark [18:51] Through that loss and healing, I would imagine you’ve really grown through that loss and healing?

Chloe [18:57] Definitely. Yeah.

Wow ~ powerful.

So powerful.

My interconnectedness just happens

Mark [19:06] How do you connect to it? What’s your process? Do you go outside? Have you got a special ritual that you do? Is there a special process or thing that you do? Is there a thought or a heart connection?

Mark [19:26] Is that the ‘All That Is’ that’s working then? It’s past the intellect to something greater than?

Chloe [19:37] Yeah, that’s it.

Mark [19:39] When you hit into that greater than, what – is there power there? Is there strength there?

Chloe [19:46] Yeah, I think there is. I’m not sure how to put it into words.

Interconnection to ‘All That Is’ beyond words

Mark [19:51] This is the difficult side of this part of the conversation when we talk about that ‘All That Is’. It’s like it’s beyond our cognitive language. It’s more at an energetic level and I’m wondering even could it even be past emotions?

Chloe [20:13] Yeah, I can’t describe it but I feel like it’s emotion plus energy. That’s something but I don’t know what the word is.

Mark [20:22] Has it got a warmth? Does it hold you lovingly?

Chloe [20:26] Yes.

Mark [20:29] Has spiritual would it feel?

Chloe [20:31] Very? Yeah.

Mark [20:35] Gone beyond yourself? Yeah. How do you keep a check on where you’re at with that?

Chloe [20:46] Um,

Connecting & Healing our Deep Loss

Chloe [20:48] I think I have a few different – I guess almost emotional states that go with it. Like there’s the depressed one. There’s the feeling more positive. There’s the just feeling flat, there’s I guess, in some ways, feeling like in a way the universe puts in the plan for us all. For some reason, that plan must have still been followed, which I know a lot of people don’t agree with that. To me, that’s how I’ve actually felt a lot of times, and I’ve actually found peace in that. Whereas a lot of people who have gone through a big loss would completely disagree that must have been a plan for a reason.

Mark [21:37] So like a teaching?

Chloe [21:39] Yeah.

Mark [21:40] A really tough, painful teaching, but a teaching?

Chloe [21:45] There’s definitely been lots of lessons learned.

Chloe [21:51] Mostly about love.

Our Beautiful Winter ~ she’s our Angel & we are blessed

Mark [21:54] Yeah. Can you share a little bit more about that?

Chloe [21:56] Yeah. I think so Winter our daughter, she passed away two days after birth. I think the whole time, she was here, with us. Everything was just so pure about her. She’s completely just pure light. Surrounded by her brothers and sisters and Steve’s family, my family, people that loved her and she would have loved. So I really have felt like her message has been love because that’s how she came into the world. That’s how she left the world as well.

Mark [22:43] Is the love still there?

Chloe [22:44] Yes. Very much. So, so much.

Connecting to Winter ~ she is always present

Mark [22:46] You can see, feel it and sense it as you are sharing with me. It’s still there. Yeah. Well, what a gift ~ so you’ve turned the loss and the suffering into a real gift. Well done. That’s so beautiful. Powerful. She is a gift isn’t she? She is still here with you. Yeah. She’s present, I can – beautiful or your bringing her here? Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to be in this space with you. Moving through, for young people coming along. You 31 now, you’ve had so many different experiences and different journeys and different callings. What advice? What direction or guidance? Might you give a younger version of yourself coming through the world?

Chloe [23:53] Yeah, I think probably just a few really feel drawn to something or feel really passionate about something, no matter what anybody tells you – just follow through with what your gut is, and go for it.

Mark [24:11] Without judgment?

Advice to Young People ~ follow your dreams without Judgement

Chloe [24:13] Without judgment, without worrying what everybody else thinks of you. Even when you start to worry about that. Try and block it out as soon as you can because otherwise, your heart is the only thing that ends up being unhappy, I guess. Not feeling content,

Mark [24:36] The passion. How much passion was in there for dancing?

Chloe [24:41] So much? Yeah. So much like I loved it, since primary school when I first kind of got into dancing, but then in high school, I had people and teachers at school telling me at the careers days get a normal job. Just find something that’s more normal, and even past partners. Can’t you just have a normal job? No, I can’t. It’s just not in me.

Mark [25:09] I’m wondering, Chloe as I’m sitting here with you, that passion is still there isn’t it?

Connecting Back to my Dancing

Chloe [25:15] Yes. I think it’ll always be part of my life and I’ll probably end up coming back to it at some point.

Mark [25:26] In dance, how much do you embody in that dance and that passion of the dance?

Chloe [25:33] A lot. I think looking back at it now, I’ve always loved dancing and always loved a lot of different styles of dancing. Looking back at it to see actually now – how healing it is for people. From an outside point of view, where it’s not in my everyday right in front of me has been something that I’ve thought about a lot because it’s a really does actually change people’s views on things. It changes the way they feel about themselves and just to be connected to themselves through their body. I think that that’s something that, I mean, I always knew it, because I felt it, but taking a step out of it’s made me think about it a lot more.

Mark [26:21] When they step into their bodies and just let their body move with the passion, and without judgment, or self-consciousness, how much more flow would they have, and the flow of expression can come through?

Dancing is Flow & Healing ~ a Letting go

Chloe [26:37] Yes, very much. I really, I really feel like, through that short time of movement, they really take that with them throughout their every day, whatever else is going on, at that time, and that moment. It carries for the rest of the day, the rest of the week, that’s just taken with them.

Mark [27:00] How powerful can that connection be for them?

Chloe [27:04] Yeah, yeah, it’s, um, that’s really powerful.

Mark [27:08] Is there a letting go process in dance, and when you move into that zone, you can actually enter that flow? Does everything else in the mind just pass away? Just go to the back burner?

Chloe [27:24] Yes, I think it does. Yeah, it can either guard to the back burner, or allows you through movement, to probably process emotions that are coming up at that point of time, or what you have been thinking about, it just allows it to move through the body.

Mark [27:41] Well dance has been around for eons. Everybody, lots of cultures – the tribal dancing.

Mark [27:52] I can imagine you just if I’m angry how to be just sort of stomp that anger our in a dance without judgment. Turn the music and embody in it and just expresses it – let that energy out of the body? Generally underneath our anger is deeper feelings, the sensitive soul is struggling here a bit some times. You’ve been part of the Facebook Heart of Connection community for some time now. We’re holding the How important do you believe we human beings need to connect and give our loving-kindness back to Mother Earth?

Chloe [28:49] I think it’s time. Now, the time is now. I feel like us – as individuals need to connect to ourselves so much say that we can connect to others and connect to what’s around us and the universe. Something needs to be done now.

We are Connecting to the need for Change

Chloe [29:32] Yeah, I think the time is coming. There’s a lot more people are opening their eyes to what’s really happening around them.

Mark [29:39] We don’t need a tragedy to give out loving-kindness and compassion. Perhaps Mother Earth and maybe it is getting to a point where it could be a bit tragic if we don’t?

Mark [29:53] We’re hopeful that there will be a flow and we can all connect and yeah, give back. I’d love to get to a point where the world and I don’t know, if you remember the Boxing Day tsunami it was like, there’s so much love and compassion, just blanketing the earth. My heart says that or senses that Mother Earth would respond to that, but we’ve got to follow it up, you know, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually in our consciousness of what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. Is there anything else in drawing a close you’d like to share within this beautiful opportunity to share?

Chloe [30:38] I don’t think so much.

Mark [30:40] Thank you kindly for your presence. Thank you for your connection.

Chloe [30:45] Thank you. Thank so much for having me.

Mark [30:47] I really appreciate you, you being open, authentic, and sharing this conversation. Thanks, Chloe.