Rushing Through Life

I came across this quote on my guilty pleasure of Pinterest last week. It made me pause and reflect on my own life, putting into words how I’ve been feeling recently. I am so lucky to have a loving husband, two amazing children, a part time job which I love and materially all I need. Yet I feel I have been missing my passion, vitality and spirit. I looked in the mirror last week to see a grey face staring back, lines appearing and looking tired. I am not vain but it was a shock to see myself ageing. I also had a lot of diary entries last week and felt that at times I was simply there in body rather than spirit. Last week was a week I look forward to annually as by a quirk of my working life I have 4 days off work whilst the children are at school. However my days ended full of appointments and rather than getting the opportunity to do some creative things, purchase some festive material for Christmas stockings and buntings, I was meeting education psychologists to ensure one of our littlies gets all the support they need in school, fighting the education authority’s refusal to do a special needs assessment, supporting a prospective adopter by meeting and offering advice, objecting to another planning application on a neighbour’s house which would invade our privacy etc .. The result of all these appointments was that I was so drained I felt ill and just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep. Whilst I did not work, I felt I was physically and mentally recovering from such a demanding period at school. My work life balance is not in equilibrium at present and I am not the person I want to be. I want to be the caring and supportive wife, loving and fun Mum, home maker, fit and healthy, creative and vibrant, sparkling woman I know is the real me. My challenge is to rediscover her so everyone benefits.