Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Redecorating Tips for Computer Refurbishers

Do you have computers and computer parts strewn around your living room, bathroom and bedroom? Did you know you can give these a fresh new look by spending no money at all? From Zip drive floral bouquets to braided power cords, there are countless ways of adding surprising twists to your decor. Here are just a few tips to get you started.

If you have a corner of a room that doesn’t have any computer or computer parts in it, why not give it a decorative punch with a tasteful pile of broken motherboards? For added interest, place these on a large square pillow. What could be easier? Your friends will be all talking about it for months.

Do you have a coffee table without any clutter on it? Why not highlight it with a dusty tape drive -- the perfect accompaniment to any coffee table? On top of the tape drive you can tastefully drape power cords. Use both gray and black power cords for an interesting visual effect.

Do you have a bathroom lacking a broken CRT monitor? Grab a broken CRT monitor and place it right beside the bathtub. A broken monitor draws the eye right to the tub, accentuating both the monitor and the tub.

If you have a handful of Zip drives, why not create a Zip drive bouquet? Remember the large chipped and broken vase your aunt offered you? Call her up and grab it. After duct-taping the thing, arrange the Zip drives in a floral arrangement right in that vase. You’ll be the talk of the town.

You would be amazed what you can do with 14.4 modems. Look for a room in your house with fewer than 20 modems. Scatter the 14.4 modems around the room. Presto, the room is spruced up in a flash.

Want a finishing touch for your living room? How about a tangle of cables hanging from a meat hook from the ceiling? It’s a fresh idea you’ll see nowhere else around town.

If you need any cable, just casually reach up behind you and grab a cable. Please be careful about your hand and that sharp meat hook.

Suppose you have a dozen beige box computers stacked up in a corner of the room. If you give each of these beige boxes a slight twist, you can create a spiral helix, thereby honoring current dominant life forms, human beings, and future dominant life forms, computers. Who says sculptures are only for sculptors?

The most useful of all materials, of course, are Ethernet cables. There are so many ways to use these to add decorative touches to a room. A long yellow Ethernet cable strung around a room at eye level adds pizzazz like nothing else can. Your artist friends will be begging you to tell them where you buy your Cat 5 cabling.

In all of the above decorating tips, don’t forget ways of adding clutter under foot. If you see any rooms where there are no obstacles to trip over, it’s best to take care of that early rather than late. Old model laser printers, weighing over 70 pounds, are best for placing mid-room. Add a duct-tape vase bouquet of Zip drives on top for that special flair.

Keep in mind that in redecorating computer refurbishing spaces, musty is a must. While you can’t buy true must (although I’ve never understood why not), a good substitute is a couple sprays of WD-40 to lend the right aroma to your air.

I haven’t yet mentioned dirty, crumpled clothes, but it goes without saying that you would have sense enough to include these in your decor. A room without crumpled clothes is like a room without sunshine.

Think of the computers and computer parts in your place as a way of expressing your style, your personality. You can perk up just about any space once you start getting creative. With proper planning and placement, the results can be breathtaking.

You can rest assured that your clutter is like no other clutter around town. Don’t forget to send a short note about your place to Home and Hard Drives. They’re always looking for the next place for their cover photo shoot.

The author has been looking for new ways to add clutter to his life for the past 10 years. Ideas always welcome at pshapiro@his.com

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