Archive for Boundaries

The Quality of Life for all People is Dependent upon
the Quality of Our Society

Protecting children from maltreatment must become a priority or our society will continue our descent toward creating unhealthy, unbalanced, fear driven generations who are left without the life skills or know how to lead a good life.

School, social media, religion, care homes and society in general have become a battlefield in recent years causing great concern for individuals tasked with promoting the well-being of children whether they be teachers, religious leaders, parents or students themselves.

With the diverse culture in our society, it is still possible to achieve a code of conduct that survives the test of diversity if it is designed in a way that everyone can benefit through adherence to policies. For this environment to be truly effective, guidelines must be established and apply to everyone, for if they don’t apply to everyone, they apply to no one.

When we recognize the importance of everyone, we can co-exist in an environment when we know that all persons are valued equally.

Creating win-win solutions allows for an exceptional environment that promotes education, inspiration, safety and above all else, integrity. It is from the spirit of integrity that we can protect all people who are connected to these facilities regardless of their position in the system.

For many reasons there is concern that components of our society need to be addressed, modified and rewritten to reflect the truth about our human nature. When we have a better understanding of our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical needs, we can guide younger generations to aspire to grow into being the best version of them self.

As new guidelines are being developed, rewritten and put in place, we can remain true to our values to help everyone come from a place of integrity. With the empowerment of integrity, we can create environments which elevates everyone’s self esteem and sense of confidence. When we anchor our intentions with integrity, it strengthens our inner core helping people to thrive to their maximum potential.

For the individuals who work with children there
are basic caveats to guide you such as:

Always have the best intention for the person(s)
you are working with as your primary objective

Stay true to yourself and your integrity

Always come from a place of truth

Encourage self-development and growth when
appropriate

Remove yourself if you are in conflict of interest

Above all else, Do No Harm

In knowing your intentions are for the highest good for all parties involved, we can also outline what behaviors are not to be embarked upon.

Negative environments can affect anyone, and because children in particular are impressionable, they can spiral downwards if exposed to it for a short or a prolonged period of time. This can have detrimental and long term effects on them making it more difficult to participate in, enjoy and feel inspired in life.

Children
model after adults. Emotionally well-adjusted adults are what children need to
guide them and protect them until they are mature enough and able to make
healthy decisions for themselves. Children need adults to look out for their
well-being, not only the adults in their immediate family, but the adults they
come across at various junctures in their lives through various organizations
and associations.

Emotionally well-adjusted adults consider the consequences their actions and behaviours will have on the child five, ten and even fifteen years down the road before they undertake them, where non-emotionally adjusted adults don’t have the skills to discern the difference.

The following are specific behaviors to avoid as they can cause incredible harm to a developing child.

Harmful Behaviours

Physical abuse

Physical abuse includes all acts by a caregiver, or another person (including another child, teacher, coach, clergy or person who has access to the child) which results in the physical harm to the child.

It may be the result of physical abuse or the result of
inappropriate or excessive discipline regardless of the intent by the person
inflicting the abuse.

It is irrelevant whether the injury to the child is
considered minor or major; the responsibility and accountability fall to the person inflicting the abuse.

Examples:

hurting a child to control their behaviour

deliberate or not; use of physical punishment resulting in
injury whether marks are left on the
child or not

physical injury
that occurs resulting from lack of care
or supervision by the caregiver or an adult/older child

excessive tickling

physical injury
resulting from shaken infant syndrome

whiplash

Intellectual Abuse

Intellectual Abuse involves the interfering with or impairing the reasoning skills of a child, which alters a child’s ability to discern and use proper judgement to form opinions and to distinguish between truth and lies.

These
behaviours include but are not limited to

manipulation of the child’s thoughts so the child will draw a conclusion that the
controller wants them to believe.

telling lies to a child with the intention of having the
child believe those lies are a reality.

threatening a child, with the intent of having the child
behave a certain way for the benefit of
the person doing the threatening.

not taking a child’s concerns seriously when they tell
you of incidents of bullying or abuse.

Telling children to resolve their own issues when they
are being bullied by another child.

manipulating the people around the child
with the intent of interfering with the child’s intellectual environment.

Sexual Abuse

For
the most part, child sexual abuse involves a person who has power or influence
over a child. This power can stem from that person’s authority, age,
intellectual or physical development, relationship, authority or power over, or
dependence with the child. It can include age or predatory nature of another
child or adult who encourages or forces a child into sexual activities.

Sexual
abuse encompasses any sexual activity with a child, including but not limited
to

fondling

genital stimulation

oral sex

grinding your genitals up against a child under the
pretense of giving a body hug or otherwise

using fingers, penis, or objects for vaginal or anal
penetration

touching a child in a sexual way

promoting or demanding unsafe sex

kissing inappropriately

using a child for their own sexual gratification,
exploitation, or for financial or other gain
(payment for drugs or debts)

forcing or encouraging a child to touch another
adult/child in a sexual way

forcing or encouraging a child to touch him/herself for another person’s gratification

masturbating in front of a child or
forcing/coercing/encouraging them to masturbate themselves with or without the
intent of having the child achieve orgasm

rape, either vaginal or anal

voyeurism

sexual dialogue with or in front of children

inappropriate displays of sexual expression in front of
children

forcing or encouraging a child to participate in
pornography or prostitution

sexual comments directed to or about a child encouraging others to be offside with the child
(e.g. “Look everyone, little _______, is developing breasts”)

male or female genital mutilation or threat of

Emotional Abuse

Emotional
abuse is a pattern of overt or covert behaviour
directed towards a child with a goal of controlling or reducing the esteem of the
child. Understanding there is a consequence for everything we do and say is a
great reminder of how powerful our words and actions are.

These
behaviours include but are not limited
to:

a pattern of attacking a child’s sense of
worth and/or emotional development

criticizing a child’s actions, looks, feelings, dress, etc.

belittling a child

threatening: “If you don’t conform….”

threatening a child’s loved one(s) or
family, if a child does not behave a certain way

teasing

humiliating

Spiritual Abuse

There are many different viewpoints regarding spirituality and what it means. There are believers and non-believers that our spirituality is a part of the human condition. As there seems to be gravitation toward spirituality again, it is timely to examine the merits of it. Although everyone has the right to decide for them self what is right for them, for the believers, spirituality contributes to our sense of wholeness. Spirituality and religion can be, but are not necessarily inclusive.

Some
religious organizations advocate for marriage with girls under age 18. For
many, and rightly so, this is considered abuse because most 18-year-old girls
are not mature enough to choose a mate for themselves wisely. Wouldn’t it be
wonderful if we could act in the best interest of the children when it comes to
human sexuality?

For
many, our spirituality involves our feeling of wholeness and our connectedness
to our own sense of inner and divine guidance. It is the integration of the
mind, body and soul within itself and with our connection to all that is around
us. It also influences how we interact within the world around us including our
relationship with nature. It also involves believing in a power or force that is
greater than our individual, physical selves. This power goes by many names depending on your belief. Source, source of energy, spirit, universe, God, Allah,
and Creator are some of the more common terms used. For many, the above words are synonymous with all encompassing,
unconditional love and are sourced in divinity. Spirituality is all
encompassing and involves how we express who we are with others and in the
environment around us. It is what unites us as one.

For
many, spirituality is found by turning to their own intuition, inner wisdom,
and higher consciousness for divine guidance. This can be achieved either
through prayer, meditation and various practices in energy work. Some people prefer
to use a combination of both inner guidance (prayer and meditation), and outer
reinforcement (from religious/spiritual groups) to enhance their spiritual
connection. Spending time alone in quiet contemplation, in prayer or in meditation
is a gentle way to reacquaint yourself with your spiritual practices.

Deeper
meaning in life cannot be found through intellect alone. To experience deeper
meaning in life, one must look within. Spirituality
can help facilitate deeper appreciation when you encompass all aspects of your
inner self. It is by mastering our inner world
that we find true meaning of life.

Accessing
our spirituality requires we spend time alone to cultivate our ability to use
our inner divine guidance as we process the choices that are presented to us in
life.

Inward
reflection can be encouraged in children at an early age. By encouraging them
to spend time alone with their own thoughts, feelings, inner awareness,
hobbies, creative interests and to connect with nature prepares them to turn to
their own intuition later in life as they go about establishing their
priorities and choices. Creative expression and passion can also develop into a
life purpose as they mature and can be the foundation they use to build a
relationship with themselves.

Developing
the ability to turn to your own inner guidance is instrumental in being able to
learn to trust your own judgment as one matures into adulthood. To grow up guided
by one’s principles requires preparation and an examination of one’s priorities
and values. As one learns to trust their own guidance, it will help them as
they are faced with life’s situations, and the subsequent actions they take
based on their decisions.

~ ~ ~

I
hope you have found the tips in this ‘Oath’ helpful. Most people want to
provide an environment of safety on all fronts for all members of society.

Knowing what not to do as you interact with others is as important as getting it right. Knowing this can provide everyone with confidence as they interact with others and it goes a long way in creating trust in the areas that service our youth. By knowing both what to do and what not to do and why, you create an environment where everyone is, and does, feel safe.

If we want to effect positive change, it helps to stop repeating the same patterns of communicating and interacting especially if they have created problems for us in the past. If we don’t make those changes in our communication patterns and how we interact with others, it makes it difficult to expect anything to change around us for the better.

By reviewing our communication patterns and our intentions, issues can be addressed and redirected, and can better reflect the needs of all of society’s members.

As a model for best practices, I, (name)___________________am aligned with the above oath and pledge to follow the guidelines as prescribed as they are in the best interest of children while in my care.

If
you know of anyone person, group or organization interested in having and
following the best of intentions to protect children through taking the ‘Oath
To Do No Harm,’ they can contact us through our website at
www.endinggloballoneliness.com

The above Oath is provided by Sandy Glaze. Sandy Glaze is a Personal Transformational Coach who specializes in self-development and interpersonal relationships. She is a Certified Strategic Intervention and an Advanced Relationship Coach, published author and speaker.

With so much confusion surrounding the subject of gender, it helps to refresh our memory as to the function of gender, both as individuals and in how we express ourselves in the collective.

Many of us are waking up to realize we are being thwarted with misinformation by media, entertainment, false education, the medical community, science and politics whose agenda seems to be to distract people as to our true potential. The truth of the matter is we all have it in us to be amazing people—every one of us.

With all
that external noise beckoning for attention, it is easy to overlook our biggest
inner strength; our ability to trust in our own discernment when it comes to our
ability to decide for ourselves what is right and good for us.

Trusting Others Instead of Yourself is a Fast Track to Getting Lead Astray

As a
society, we have been convinced we need experts to tell us how to live our
lives, when what we really need is to trust ourselves. The outsourcing of knowing
what is in our own best interests has created an inner lack of confidence and self-doubt
resulting in fear of not being worthy of living a good life.

It is been
proven on many fronts, that our environment is what shapes our reality. A
culture based on survival of the fittest congers up images of Lord of The
Flies, but in reality, life doesn’t have to be that harsh. We have been led to
believe that dog eat dog is the way
to be human and as we can clearly see with the chaos in our society, that is
not working. Right now, our environment is in dire need of some tender, loving
care.

Western
society is in a negative downward spiral. Where ever we turn, entertainment is
encouraging people of all ages to demean and demoralize our self to the
amusement of the very few. Our choices come with consequences for our self and
often others. Self-demoralization creates very low feelings of self-worth.

Is It Any
Wonder So Many People Suffer From Depression and Anxiety?

We can
change the negative downward spiral to a positive upward spiral by looking at
the good inside us.

One of the secrets to creating a positive upward spiralling energy is to understand how balancing our masculine and feminine energy helps us align with our highest potential. It is when we come from our highest potential that we are most truly aligned with who we are.

It All
Starts Within

To get a better understanding of how our masculine and feminine traits work together, we look at the energy systems in our body. There is a reason we have two hemispheres in our brain (one half male the other half female). In the past one hundred and fifty years, western education counted on intellect alone to base decisions of great importance. Intellect on its own has no soul; it is heartless, cold and calculating because it cannot feel. Over intellectualizing has even been known to distort the simplest of concepts from resembling the truth. That is not the way of the future. Intellect alone is not capable of love or feeling for self or others. Overthinking has proven time and again not to produce results that are balanced, coherent or even logical. We were meant to utilize both our intellectual abilities coupled with our creative and conceptual inspirations (female aspect). It is when our inspirations come from our hearts first we get the best from our self. When our creative and productive aspects work together, we can produce optimal results and live life with balance and harmony both internally and externally.

While
intellect is a masculine trait, feeling is associated with our softer, more
feminine aspects and we all have both. Before staking claim at being angry with
the opposite sex, check to see if you like all aspects of yourself. Knowing how
to integrate our heart energy with our ability to think critically, allows us to
re-evaluate how we have been encouraged to ‘Do Life.’

We Lose Out
When We Do Not Know How to Harness Our Energy

Mainstream science would have us believe we are genetic beings, when in reality; it is our energy systems that sustain us. This truth has been well documented in Eastern Medicine, yet ignored by Western Academia. Our internal systems, organs and glands are either masculine or feminine and are what gives us life force.

Energy Is Everything

We all have
masculine and feminine energy in us. Most people tend to have more attributes
that are aligned with their biological sex then the biological sex they were not born into. To simplify, we are made
up of Electro-Magnetic energy. That energy is what fuels us. The electro is
masculine/yang energy and the magnetic is feminine/yin energy. The polarity
between the sexes serves a purpose as it allows the attraction and unification
between male and female sexual energy to take place.

This concept
is not going to change on a whim, wing or wish of educators or scientists who
overthink and overcomplicate our humanness. Hopefully they are attempting to modernize
their outdated models and catch up with the awakening times.

We Are Powerful Beyond Belief when We Learn to Master Our Inner Masculine and Feminine Energies

This chart outlines various characteristics of masculine and feminine energy in both our positive and not so positive traits. It is a fantastic tool to allow individuals to self-assess what character traits they aspire to and what behaviors are, or are not, acceptable to them. This opens the door for greater self-responsibility and personal growth.

We choose
how we show up every day for ourselves and others. Which traits do you relate
to more, the masculine or the feminine? Are there traits are you innately
strong in? There is no right or wrong answer or amount of either that is
correct for everyone. The idea is that you want to be well versed and able to
function with both. This is not designed to create self-judgement, only recognizing
the strength within. If you see an attribute in yourself you don’t like, outgrow
it. No one aspires to be a jerk; it’s not natural, instead, aspire to your
strengths. When we come from our higher selves, we embrace both higher
masculine and feminine qualities.

A Consciousness
Awakening is Happening on this Planet

There is
much change happening on the planet as we see the outdated systems around us
collapsing. How will we participate? Will we come from our best self or our
worst possible traits? We all have free choice in the matter. The beauty in
being human is we can choose to come
from our higher masculine and
feminine principles or from our lower ones.

People no
longer have to follow the lead of media, entertainment, false education, the
medical community, science or the political antics that promote mindless or
amoral existence.

Take Your
Power Back

This is how
we change the world; we change it from the inside out. You will know when you
are inspired to change when it happens to you as you will feel lighter and
relieved in some way.

Join the
growing number of people who are waking up and remembering that anything is
possible when we are consciously aware of how we can command our energy to
spiral in the direction we want in life.

We are powerful beyond belief when
we learn to master our inner Masculine and Feminine Energies

We live in
exciting times—a time where we can explore who we really are as we experience
the changes in the world. Start to question what you have been led to believe
about yourself. As much new information is coming to light about our true human
potential, please only take what works for you at this time and leave the rest.

From my heart to yours,

Sandy

For more
information on the dynamics of energy, how to unite your inner masculine and
feminine energies within, visit us at www.endinggloballoneliness.com #love
#heart #change #masculine #feminine #energy #consciousness #inspiration #awakening
#endinggloballoneliness

Copyright notice: Permission to share this post is
granted, providing all copyrights are respected, this copyright notice is
included and no wording is changed. Credit is to be given to the author; Sandy
Glaze www.endinggloballoneliness.com

Albert Einstein has been attributed as saying; “You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.” Re-training how we thick can be done with a new game plan.

How to do we know we are making the right choices for us? We are internally wise. Often we look to outside sources when we should be looking to ourselves for the answers we seek. A big part of building inner trust is to learn how to trust our instincts. Trusting our instincts is huge when determining what is in our best interest. So how can we trust ourselves to find new solutions to old situations we want to have change?

Here are 5 ways to build trust in your own inner voice:

Identify what it is that is giving you cause for concern at this time. What would you like to stop, change or enhance in your life? Ask yourself the question, then let it go and see what answers come to mind. This is a call to action to your instincts to help you identify what is concerning you.

Write down the top three things you would like to experience in life. Knowing what is concerning you and what you want, allows you to create a map of where you are and where you want to go. With that in mind you can created a course of action or direction to take when exploring ways to resolve your concerns.

Spend time alone. When you spend time alone it allows you to be open to hear what your inner voice is saying to you without the distraction of outside noise including other people.

Listen your gut instead of your brain. This change has to be one of the most empowering shifts you can make. By listening to your gut, you can change your perspective. Our bodies know what is true for us if we allow ourselves to listen. It doesn’t mean you have to put what you know into action just yet; but learn to listen to your body to find the right answer. By practicing trusting your own instincts, you automatically increase your ability to learn to trust yourself more.

Tune out everyone else. Too often we are concerned about what others will think of us or what we should do and it makes it hard to be honest with ourselves, so much so, that we hold back out fear of ridicule or reprisal. Make your decisions based on what you want. Of course this doesn’t mean you carelessly abandon responsibilities, it simply reminds you that what you want is important too.

Can you think of a time when you didn’t trust your instincts and it didn’t turn out for you? Remember how that made you feel? Use that memory as a catalyst to encourage you to trust yourself over others in the future.

With so much information coming to light regarding unethical behavior, corruption and abuse of power, integrity is needed now more than ever. There are some values that help us stay aligned with what is important to us and integrity is one that is worthy of review.

It is a great time to get reacquainted with our own value system and inner compass so we can be aligned with our integrity. (Although integrity is considered predominantly a masculine trait, both men and women are capable of operating from a place of integrity). For the purpose of this blog, I will apply integrity to men.

Integrity is what makes a man trustworthy and makes people want to follow his lead.

Men of integrity tend to be:

·Men who know who they are and what they stand for.

·Men who have a purpose in life that is bigger than they are.

·Men who wear their values like a code of honor—their word matters to them.

·Men who protect the vulnerable and less fortunate in society.

·Men who stand up for truth.

·Men who have an aura of inner strength about them—observable in the way the carry themselves in their day-to-day activities.

·Men who lead by example and make excellent role models and mentors for younger men.

Younger generations deserve to have great role models and mentors to show them how to live with integrity. If we get the momentum going, integrity is an art that they can pass on too.

I love the leading phrase in the article; 10 Ways to be a Man of Integrity “Character is what you do when no one else is looking.” It captures the picture of integrity splendidly, but knowing and doing is often easier said than done. This point is well illustrated in The Art of Manliness. It provides questions for men to use for self-discovery about choices they are presented with in life. Some might consider this site to be dated, as it provides many opportunities to reminisce about what hobbies, interests and behaviors have inspired men in the past.

The Good Men Project has a growing readership and also offers great insight to help men reacquaint with integrity and other issues that affect men.

These articles support the need for and the value of integrity. By living in integrity you are presenting the best version of yourself, being a role model for others and enhancing the relationships you have.