As Summer Comes to an End, is it Time for Divorce?

Now that the kids are set to head back to school, you might want to start
planning for something you’ve been putting off all summer –
a divorce.

As Summer Comes to an End, is it Time for Divorce?

While official statistics are not available, divorce lawyers often see
a surge in divorces two times a year: after the Christmas holidays, and
at the end of the summer.

“Every year, it’s like clockwork,” said Gaetano Ferro,
president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. “You know
the phone is going to start ringing like crazy that time of year.”

Couples that are headed towards divorce will often wait until the end of
family summer vacations to begin divorce proceedings.

“This is usually the deferral of a decision that’s been made
months earlier,” said family law attorney James Hennenhoefer.

“People don’t want to initiate something when they’re
in the Hamptons or in Europe,” said divorce lawyer Robert Dobrish.

Reasons for Divorce

By now we’re all familiar with the common reasons for divorce. Whether
you’ve had a family member go through a divorce or a friend, the
stories can sound familiar.

Affairs

Affairs are not just the stuff of TV shows and movies, they happen in real
life. Chances are you know someone that’s had one, or someone that
has been hurt as the result of one. While some couples do manage to bounce
back from infidelity, it can be impossible for others.

Financial Issues

Financial troubles can spell big problems for a marriage – big stressful
problems that can be damaging for a couple to work through. According
to researchers at Kansas State University, there was a strong correlation
between early money arguments and marital dissatisfaction years down the
road. The study also found money to be “top predictor for divorce”
regardless of income and wealth levels.

Married Too Quickly

The time you dated prior to getting married may have an impact on your
wedded bliss says a study from Emory University. According to the study,
a couple that dates for three years prior to getting married is 39 percent
less likely to get divorced than a couple who dated for less than one year.

Drinking Habits

We all know that binge drinking can be dangerous for a person’s health,
let alone the health of a marriage. But maybe having a partner that drinks
heavily when you don’t is another thing to blame for a faltering
marriage. A University of Buffalo study found marriages are more likely
to end up in divorces if one spouse is a heavy drinker. That’s not
the case for spouses that are both heavy drinkers. That could mean it’s
more in the habits than the actual alcohol itself.

The Prenup Question

Raising the prenup question can be a tough one. It can feel like you’re
flat out saying, “this marriage will end in divorce.” And
if you spent more time thinking about your prenup than your honeymoon,
chances are you might not be as happily married as you’d hoped.
W. Bradford Wilcox from the
New York Times says that the desire to sign a prenup is usually a self-interested act.
And the National Center for Family and Marriage Research found couples
who do not share a bank account are 145 percent more likely to end up divorced.

Resentment

Resentment is defined as the experience of a negative emotion (anger or
hatred for instance) felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong done.
Maybe it’s the fact that your spouse never closes a drawer and knows
it bugs you. Or maybe it’s the fact that he or she never calls to
just say “I love you.” Maybe he’s met a bunch of new
friends and wants to hang out with them. Maybe she’s taken up a
new hobby that is stealing all her attention. There are a million reasons
for resentment in a relationship. But perhaps that feeling is the number
one underlying reason that marriages fail.

It’s also interesting to note the types of behaviors that stem from
resentment: cheating, drug and alcohol use to tame feelings, anger or
rudeness, passive aggressive behavior.

Divorces All Around You

If you have a lot of family and friends divorcing around you, chances are,
according to a study published in
Social Forces Journal, you’re chances for divorce increase 75 percent. The researchers
write, “Individuals who get divorced may influence not only their
friends, but also their friends’ friends as the propensity to divorce
spreads.”

Postponing Through Summer

Divorce is not something you should take lightly. It can be a hard decision
to come to, and once you have “made it through” the summer,
it’s not uncommon for couples to decide on divorce. Regardless of
your reasons for postponing or pursuing, it’s important you take
the time to plan out the next steps.

Plan

Gather as much information about what you own – assets, debts, and
sources of income. Make copies of any documentation that relates to these items.

Save for your divorce. Divorce can be expensive, so you’ll want to
be prepared and know which accounts you’ll be using to pay these
fees. Keep this money in a separate bank account. Also plan what your
future budgetary needs will be – as a single person.

Consider your credit. You might want to freeze any joint credit cards,
and make sure you obtain your own credit report.

You might want to sell the family home. While this can be a very difficult
part of a marriage, it might be the best way to answer how this very large
asset will be divided.

Consider Other Options

While divorce litigation might seem like the only option, remember that
mediation, arbitration, and collaborative divorce are also other options.
These options might offer financial breaks as well because they require
less time from a lawyer. These can also aid in the emotional pain caused
by divorce because the methods employed in these alternatives focus more
on a collaboration and finding an agreement that satisfies both you and
your spouses needs.

If You Decide to Divorce

The necessary steps for obtaining your divorce will be dependent on the
particulars of your relationship. The dissolution of a marriage in which
the parties have been married for a short period of time, have no children,
and little property or debts will most likely be less involved than a
divorce where the couple has been married for a long period of time, shares
minor children, or where there is significant property or debt to be divided.
The question of if both parties are seeking the divorce will also determine
the ease at which they are granted that divorce. A partner not wanting
the divorce might respond in a way that allows them to prolong the process.
If a couple can both agree to the divorce the process can be much smoother
and quicker. This also applies to the agreement process because if a couple
is bogged down with fighting and disagreements over everything, the process
will be much slower.

1. Petition for Divorce

To start the divorce process one of the spouses must file a petition. Even
if both spouses are in agreement, one of them will have to file a petition
with the court asking for the divorce. This petition states the grounds
for the divorce. These vary from state to state. California is a no-fault
state, meaning no fault is placed on either party regardless of infidelity,
etc…

2. Temporary Orders for Support and Custody

If one spouse is seeking financial support or custody of children, that
spouse will need to ask the court for temporary orders for support and
custody. A temporary order is usually granted within a few days of the
initial petition. It remains in effect until the full divorce court hearing.

3. Proof of Service and Response

When a party files for divorce they also need to file for a proof of service
of process. This document proves that a copy of the divorce petition was
given to the other party. This can be done through a process server, or
by a lawyer. There are numerous ways to do this and you’ll want
to consult a lawyer for advice on how to do this. If the parties mutually
agree on the divorce, it is best for the party who files the complaint
to arrange for service of process to the other party’s attorney.

Once the party receives the service of process they will need to file a
response to the petition. In states where fault grounds can be filed and
the responding party wants to dispute those grounds, he or she needs to
address it in the response. They are able to dispute the facts alleged
in the grounds for divorce. Additionally, if the party disagrees with
property division, support, custody, or any other issue, this should be
set out in the response.

4. Negotiation

When two divorcing spouses disagree on issues they must come to an agreement
that settles their differences. Often times this is done through mediation.
During this process every aspect of a marriage is resolved: child custody
and visitation, child support, property division and any spousal support.
Working with a mediation lawyer can help you receive the settlement you
are seeking when it comes to dissolving your marriage. It’s within
your best interest to try and resolve all these issues outside of court.
This will cut down on legal fees, time spent arguing, and any headaches
that can come with trying to go back and forth to find an agreeable settlement.
Any issues left undecided during the mediation process will have to be
decided at a trial.

5. Order of Dissolution

Once everything is decided upon an order of dissolution is set forth. This
document spells out how the property and debts are to be divided, what
child custody and visitation schedule is, what support payments (spousal
and child) need to be paid, and any other issues.

Working with a Divorce Attorney

If you think that January might be the time for your divorce or legal separation,
you should work with a divorce attorney that will take a vested interest
in your specific situation and advise you on what you might face regarding
property division, child support and custody, and alimony. They will be
able to advise you on your options. A divorce attorney will provide support
and guidance as you work towards ending your marriage.

For advice on divorce, you need the expert law firm of Law Offices of Korol
and Velen, Certified Family Law Specialists.

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