Jessica Malnikhttp://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com
Online Community Builder, Content Creator and Digital StrategistMon, 14 Nov 2016 08:26:47 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.13It’s never as simple as “us v. them”http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/11/14/its-never-as-simple-as-us-v-them/
http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/11/14/its-never-as-simple-as-us-v-them/#commentsMon, 14 Nov 2016 08:26:47 +0000http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/?p=1003This last week has been eye-opening, challenging and depressing. Like many others, I’ve been trying to process and make sense of what happened.

I never realized how much I took for granted freedom in general . . . let alone freedom of speech, religion and the press until I started traveling overseas. Visiting countries where you can’t talk about news and certain topics without fear, threats or being punished.

Little did I realize that the country I was born in that prides itself on democracy would ever vote in a way that jeopardizes its very freedom and Constitution.

I didn’t expect it (admittedly being too naive), but the news hit me the same way as a bad breakup with a ex-boyfriend.

It was like getting rid of the “voice of reason” and security blanket that you have grown to love over 8 years. He has been replaced overnight by your drunk Uncle Joe who drinks way too much scotch and has a tendency to make inappropriate comments at the dinner table to your underage cousin.

When this happens, it is natural to want to curl up in a bubble and only gravitate towards people who feel and think the same way that you do. For example, I found myself on Facebook way more than normal and gravitating towards friends and acquaintances that were expressing similar emotions and thoughts.

I was trying to practice some self-care, as I desperately needed to make sense of everything that was unfolding.

You don’t need to be a psychologist to see that I was and still am very afraid. I was afraid for the direction of this country. For the safety and security of all my friends. And for myself – as a career-focused woman.

The more I scrolled through Facebook and through news sites, the more insecure, depressed, hopeless and unmotivated I was becoming. It was even impacting my energy levels, which is when I know something is really off. I’m usually quite energetic.

No blog post, status update or even offline conversations with friends could make me feel better.

I knew something was really wrong when I started to frequent CNN. Nothing good has ever come in my life from reading news articles on that site, especially when it is about hate crimes, the president-elect’s transition team or possible Cabinet appointments.

Every time I come away from that site I become either anxious, terrified or “OMG, the world is going to end . . . “ And sometimes all three at once. This time was no exception.

Side note: I realized a long time ago for my mental and emotional health it is best to treat CNN the same way I treat WebMD, which is I try to avoid going on that site at all costs or else I will go down a neurotic rabbit hole that leads me to believe that I have some terminal, rare illness that you can only get by literally fucking a chimpanzee.

I digress. No matter how much time I spent searching for answers to explain what had happened. The more frustrated, insecure and depressed I became. Nobody could say that it was 100% going to be okay.

Yes, it is painfully obvious that many of us learned this week that this country is fundamentally more fragmented than we ever could have imagined. And, that the next president is a narcissist fascist who is obsessed at winning at costs. Neither of those things were as terrifying as the plain old uncertainty (i.e. what’s going to happen next?), The uncertainty at least for me was the biggest fear.

What is fear and uncertainty really? But, about control or more specifically the lack of control. It’s human nature to want to know the outcome of things. When things get messy and things happen that we have little to no control over or simply cannot explain. It can rattle us to our core.

No one knows what is going to happen next. Change is the only constant. Reading status updates, recaps from protests and heaven forbid CNN or Fox News articles isn’t going to make any of those fears go away. It is just going to make us feel more anxious, depressed and “Like OMG – the world is going to end tomorrow.”

The only thing any of us can control are our own views and actions. You can’t control the world around you (even though we all so desperately want to).That’s a really, really, really tough pill to swallow.

So, we resort to coping mechanisms, which can be just as damaging if left unchecked for too long.

Our first coping mechanism is the primitive fight or flight instinct, which often leads us to retreat further into our comfort zones hoping to make some sense and order out of something so chaotic and senseless. That’s exactly what I was doing on Facebook.

Or, even more literally start researching visa and citizenship options abroad. That’s why the Canadian immigration site actually crashed on Tuesday night. Not making this one up.

Another coping mechanism that comes usually right after the initial “fight or flight instincts” is the “us v. them” mentality. My first thoughts were how could almost 50% of this county be racist, bigoted and sexist. All of these Americans’ didn’t see the country how I see it, so naturally I went to the “us v. them” mentality. That’s a really dangerous way to see an issue or the world in general because you are seeing the opposing side as a “threat.”

The reality is much more nuanced. The other side was so frustrated, let-down and disfranchised by the current system and way of doing things that the only way to be heard was to vote for the loudest candidate who gave them a voice for the first time in years. . . heck decades. That candidate just happened to be a fascist, who was endorsed by the freakin’ KKK.

Just let that sink in for a minute.

While I do think there are more racists, bigots and sexists in this country than I thought there were, I don’t think it is anywhere close to half of this country. Treating all of the people who voted for Trump as an “us v. them” mentality does nothing but create more animosity and ill will.

I’d argue that’s the exact opposite of what all of us should do. When fear settles in, instead of running from it or taking an “us v. them mentality”, have the courage to sit with and understand these fears. That’s where the real learning and growth opportunities lie.

The only way to make any progress is to understand the other side’s POVs. That’s not easy. There’s a lot of work to be done.

So, yes the direction of this country will be forever changed. I’m scared of the power our president-elect will inherit. But if I obsess over that I’ll just become a depressed, anxious and unmotivated mess for the next four years. I can’t control what the president-elect will do. Or, what Congress will do. Or even what my neighbors will do.

Instead, it is best to move forward and focus on my actions and the changes that I can make to bridge the gaps around me. Moving forward is after all the only way to make any real progress.

]]>http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/11/14/its-never-as-simple-as-us-v-them/feed/0Why is change so scaryhttp://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/10/30/why-is-change-so-scary/
http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/10/30/why-is-change-so-scary/#commentsSun, 30 Oct 2016 17:00:26 +0000http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/?p=1000If you talk to any startup founder, entrepreneur or Silicon Valley entrepreneur, it is very hard to go more than an hour without hearing the words, “change,” “disruption” or “pivot.” It is kind of a rite of passage to pivot your business to go to a new untapped niche. In many cases, that’s pretty smart.

Change is widely accepted in startup culture. Startups are supposed to always be disrupting something. Innovation is praised and celebrated.But when it comes to making changes to ourselves as individuals, it is rarely welcomed and embraced with open arms. Most people probably won’t say outright, “don’t change.” But, their behavior patterns, actions and societal norms are meant to empower group think and keep you in your comfort zone.

Companies are run by people. People or more likely teams of people create these innovations and changes. So why is it celebrated in startups? But, not when individuals decide to change?

I stumbled upon this quote from Srini’s latest book, Unmistakable.

“People are uncomfortable when you start to change, because your actions remind them what they’ve been avoiding in their own lives. They’re forced to confront the fact that they’re choosing to remain the same while you’re making a drastic shift in the direction of your life. You hold a mirror up to all the fears they’ve given in to and all the goals they’ve chosen not to pursue.”

If you really think about it, everything around you is designed to keep you like 99% of all the people around you. Both consciously and subconsciously.Thousands of years ago, you needed a strong group just to survive and not be eaten by predators. Without the power of the group, you would starve to death or be eaten by a bigger animal.That’s not the same as today. Sure, you need an emotional support network for mental and emotional well being. But, when you are in a group have you ever noticed how the longer the group has been together, the more everyone starts to think, act and even dress the same way. For example, just go to any shopping mall in America or Southeast Asia on a weekend. You’ll find hordes of teens in groups, everyone in the group acts and dresses the same.

The problem is that group think leads to conformity, security and safety but it comes at the detriment of creativity and innovation. It is much harder to be truly innovative without outside influences.

Group think becomes so engrained that when one person in the group changes at all (and becomes less like everyone else), they can quickly find themselves on the outside looking in.This makes the process of making even small changes 100x harder.

Deciding to make a change is relatively easy. You control how you implement a new change. It is the reactions from everyone around you that is so scary and can be downright paralyzing. You have no control what everyone will think of this change. You can only control your own actions.

If you really want to be creative, you need to embrace and seek out change every once in awhile. Yes, it is scary. Yes, you may be perceived as the lone nut, but you could also be the next Elon Musk. More than likely, you will be somewhere in the middle.

After all, if you aren’t changing, you aren’t growing. If you are not growing, you aren’t just stagnant. You are regressing.

]]>http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/10/30/why-is-change-so-scary/feed/0Why It Took Me 26 Years Before I Started Traveling http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/09/19/why-it-took-me-26-years-before-i-started-traveling/
http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/09/19/why-it-took-me-26-years-before-i-started-traveling/#commentsMon, 19 Sep 2016 07:28:24 +0000http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/?p=998Travel plays a major role in my life, but it hasn’t always been this way. I suppressed my desire to travel and experience new places for 26 years. So, what changed?

Today, I optimize my life and make a fair amount of sacrifices (think – living fairly minimally and not partying every weekend) so that I can experience new places on a regular basis. It has been the single biggest driver in both personal and professional development for me. I have learned more from the experiences I have had and all the people I’ve met than anything else I’ve ever done. But up until now, I haven’t really talked about it on this blog.

For starters, I didn’t want this blog to turn into yet another “follow your passion and travel the world blog.” There’s plenty of those on the Internet already. Quite frankly, I don’t think my insights about the places I’ve been are unique or interesting enough to write about (most of the time) – yet alone for people to want to read. I’m very committed to keeping the main themes about this blog about community management and social media.

I also know that being able to travel as much as I do is a huge privilege. One that I’m incredibly grateful for and don’t take lightly. I don’t want to come across as “bragging” or somehow implying that my life is better in some way than someone else because I like to travel. As I get older, I have so much respect for anyone who knows what they want in life and just goes after it. Whether that’s having kids at 25, climbing the corporate ladder early and often at a young age, buying a house, traveling often or something else entirely.

It is taken me over two years (and a phone call 2.5 years ago that I never wish for anyone to receive ever) to get comfortable to realize that by not talking much about my travel experiences, I’m holding back a unique perspective that separates me from many others.

This quote from Derek Sivers perfectly sums up my internal struggles. I have been making all of these changes to my life but am holding back sharing it, and in term was putting me in conflict with myself often.

“whatever you decide, you need to optimize for that, and be willing to let go of the others. You can’t diffuse your energy, trying to do a little bit of everything, or you’ll always be in conflict with yourself.”

The reality is travel is my chosen way to get out of my comfort zone on a routine basis. Any new experience I have forces me to be more adaptable, hear and understand new perspectives, be more creative and think more critically. All of these things have helped me become a better community manager. For example, I’ve have had multiple revelations and epiphanies about building and managing communities from travel experiences, but I’ve only shared one on this blog. It was how a recent trip to Helsinki changed my perspective on community design.

Just like I’ve suppressed talking about my travel experiences (and how it has shaped me both personally and professionally), I also suppressed my desire to travel and experience new places for 26 years.

Since I was like 9 years old, I have always loved to travel and go on adventures. Whether it is an hour long car ride or a 24 hour flight, I love every aspect of the journey (including the pre-planning). (For the record, I’m the weirdo that spends hours on Skyscanner, Google Flights or airline websites just looking at trip itineraries, price shopping and day dreaming.)

My desire to travel only grew more after initially studying abroad in London for four months in college. Living with a friend and four additional roommates in a tiny 2 bedroom flat in Earl’s Court. As an introvert, living with 5 other girls in a two bedroom apartment with only one bathroom was an interesting experience to say the least.

So, when I entered the “real world,” why did it suddenly feel like such a big deal to go on vacation or travel? I don’t like to admit this, but I didn’t go on any vacation that was longer than 4 days. During those four days, I was hanging with friends pretty much the entire time.

I knew deep down I wanted more for myself and my life.

I wanted to explore the world. The world is so much bigger and cooler than just the 50 states. There’s entire continents and oceans to explore.

I like to think that I’m an independent, ambitious go-getter. After college, I always thought I would travel often with a boyfriend or friends from college.

After college, I took a bunch of initiative to plan international trips with friends. Everyone would be super gung-ho when I pitched the initial idea. But, trips would always fall through either because one of us couldn’t take off work, budget restraints, family commitments, etc.

I knew deep down that I didn’t need to rely on a man or friends to chase my travel dreams and ambitions. But, that’s exactly what I was waiting for to start traveling. I always told myself that once I find “the one,” and get married that I would spend my first year traveling around with my new husband seeing all the places I have always wanted to visit all over the world.

“The impact zone frequently turns out to be the catalyst for significant change in people’s lives.”

In hindsight, my moment in the impact zone occurred on a Wednesday in mid-April of 2014. This is when I got the phone call from a loved one that I never ever, ever, ever wanted to receive. I remember having a pit in my stomach and knowing something was really wrong even before they started to speak. Nothing can compare to the minute when the person that you have looked up to for your entire life tells you that that they have cancer (even if it’s something that is treatable like in her case). It still hit me with a ton of bricks. I’ve grown a ton and overcome a ton of obstacles since college. But, I’ve never felt more vulnerable and scared than in the week after learning this news. It is fucking terrifying watching someone that you love go through cancer treatments and chemo.

Anytime the roles in a relationship abruptly reverse, it is jarring. When the person who comforted you as a kid when you had a fever is suddenly the one who is sick, suddenly now you are the one providing emotional support. Well, that is fucking scary.

On top of that, I wasn’t prepared to realize how much it would make me second guess many of the milestone decisions I made (or in some cases didn’t make) in my 20s thus far. While it fucking terrible to admit (and also a bit selfish), it took watching the person closest to me go through chemo to make me realize I was taking my own health and life for granted – thinking I could put off my dream to travel the world for when I retired in oh like 50 years. I started to seriously doubt my strategy of deferring gratification for that long.

Essentially, I was having an existential crisis. Like many introverts do, how do I process it? I stayed up late far too many nights just writing? Writing all the time.

I’ve always joked that writing is the best and cheapest form of therapy ever. In this case, it actually was therapeutic. Painful at the time, but it’s the only way I could start to process everything that I was going through.

I’ve always had a hard time sharing my deepest thoughts with people (even with my closest friends), although I like to think I’ve gotten better. But, pen to paper or fingers to keyboard still feels easier for me to express myself and my true feelings. I realize the irony of all this as I’m about to post the most personal blog post I’ve ever written to the entire Internet. I’m sharing my deepest, rawest version of myself with people to critique and shred apart. Maybe even call me a reject or loser.

Heck, being made fun of or insulted hurts. But, at least it means people care enough to take the time out of their day to notice you and say something.

So going back to those lonely, vulnerable weeks in April of 2014, it made me come to terms with the thing that I was absolutely most afraid of: REGRET. Specifically, the regret of staying in my comfort zone too often and not pursuing my goals – like travel.

This was highlighted again after hearing Lewis Howes speak at WDS last year. Fear and regret aren’t the same thing.

If I’m really honest with myself, it’s often fear that stands in the way of my biggest goals and ambitions and when I don’t take that step outside of my comfort zone and succumb to fear. I usually regret it. When I embrace the fear, uncertainty and unknown, it often leads to better outcomes than I ever could have imagined. Think moving to NYC which was hands on the best thing that ever happened to me career wise. Or, taking the plunge and traveling solo to a foreign country (Indonesia) by myself at 26. These are things that are really scary (especially the second one).

It’s really easy to talk yourself out of that crazy idea that’s been in your head for awhile. It’s the nagging things that keep coming up week after week, year after year are often the things you should wholeheartedly embrace and do, as not doing them is going to lead to a series of what ifs and possibly full on regret.

The thing that scares me the most about adulthood is getting too comfortable. Going to a cubicle “cushy job” day in and day out for years at a time, pushing papers, and doing just enough to get your measly 3% cost of living raise each year. Then, commuting home 45 minutes each day to a house with a white picket fence, a husband, two and half kids and a dog. All while living for weekends, holidays and a measly two weeks of vacation time, As I see more and more of my friends from high school and college settle into this “new normal,” I realize this fucking terrifies me.

40 years from now, I don’t want to look back on my life and talk about all the things “I wish” I would have done. Wishing instead of finding a way to do something is pure poison. It just leads to bitterness, discontent, negativity and regret. While I know I can’t minimize all regrets and negativity that I have or may have in the future, if I know there is something that I might be able to do now that minimizes it (like travel), than fuck I’m going to do it.

For me, this desire to “do” and “experiment” instead of “wish” is the only way that I know how to push past my own fears and insecurities.

]]>http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/09/19/why-it-took-me-26-years-before-i-started-traveling/feed/011 More Books That All Community Professionals Should Read (Plus A Giveaway!)http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/08/31/11-more-books-that-all-community-professionals-should-read-plus-a-giveaway/
http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/08/31/11-more-books-that-all-community-professionals-should-read-plus-a-giveaway/#commentsWed, 31 Aug 2016 08:00:45 +0000http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/?p=996I wrote a post about a year ago where I shared some of my favorite books that I read over the last year.

I’m a firm believer that you can supercharge your knowledge through reading books and longer essays. While it takes longer to read and is harder to digest than a short, 300 word top ten list trends piece, the upside and takeaways are also significantly higher. Not to mention, the shelf life of a good book is much, much longer than any blog post.

In general, I read about 1-2 books a month. I used to speed read a lot more. But over the years, I’ve started reading less books over all, and have gotten much better about prioritizing what I choose to read next. It is very easy to just read the latest “Amazon bestseller” that blows up on Twitter. Seeing how easy it is to game bestseller status, I realized my approach was flawed. I was reading a bunch of books quickly, but they were poorly written and didn’t have many actionable takeaways. A couple of years ago, I started to implement a system where I would only read a book once I heard about it in three different channels (ideally in-person, on one of the tightly curated email newsletters that I subscribe to and through a friend on Twitter). Then from there, I add and rank it on my Goodreads account.

As you can see in my recommendations below, many of these books aren’t traditional community management or marketing books. I certainly read my fair share of those books, but I’ve found the more I stray away to other topics, the more I can make connections and apply new strategies that I otherwise wouldn’t have made.

Here’s the 11 books that I’ve read and thoroughly appreciated over the last year (in random order).

2. Or, follow me on Instagram here and then share this post on your Instagram account (either as a shoutout in one of your Instagram stories or on your profile). Once you share it, send me an Instagram DM or tag me in the post to let me know that you did it.

It is been a long time since I’ve done one. Seeing how Snapchat has become one of my three favorite social media apps, I thought now was as good a time as any to bring back this old series. No really, I’m slightly addicted to Snapchat. (Feel free to add me on Snapchat. My id is jessicamalnik)

I thought I would have a little fun by sharing these 7 things you really should stop doing on Snapchat. Note: This is purely for fun, if any of these things give you immense satisfaction by all means, keep doing them. Just don’t complain if people – like me – unfriend you.

1. Make all your Snapchat stories 10 minutes long.
I get it. You had a crazy busy day. You just had to share all of it – like all of it- with us on Snapchat.

I’m already too ADD as it is. As someone who tends to binge watch a bunch of stories at the end of the day (for productivity reasons), if your story is more than 2 minutes long, you probably have lost me unless you are an amazing storyteller.

Learn to self-edit. It’s a useful skill, really I promise?

2. Start every single snap with “Hey Snapchat fam,” “Hey Snappies” etc.
Having a catchy name or a signature tagline that you start each Snapchat story with in the morning or end with at night is great. But when you start every single snap in your story with it, it just makes you sound like a wannabe music star when in reality we all know you are really just a geeky dad driving a “Swagger wagon” in like suburban Illinois.

3. Spam all your Snapchat friends with “mass snaps”
I could go on a long rant about this one, but I think Amy over at Savvy Sexy Social does it way better.

4. Repost every single snap on Instagram stories, Twitter, and Facebook.
Repurposing your best content is smart. When you repurpose every single snap, you are taking away one of the key draws for people to follow you on Snapchat. The fact that’s stories disappear in 24 hours creates instant FOMO.

5. Snapping from the bathroom
I’m not entirely sure who started this trend, but I’m seeing a lot more people snap from the bathroom in their stories. Take care of your business first and then snap. Snapping from the bathroom is just kind of weird and really gross. (A quick PSA: Please remember to wash your hands before you start snapping again!)

6. Snapping while driving
Enough already. Put the damn phone down and focus on the road. No snap is worth potentially injuring yourself or worse someone else over. (Note: This also applies to texting, Instagramming, Facebooking and oh yeah playing Pokemon Go).

Is the message that you are sending or game that you are playing so important that it is worth potentially hurting yourself or others?

7. Don’t be that “guy” or “girl!”
You know the one I’m talking about. The one that spends all their time talking about themselves and how great they are. They never watch other people’s stories because they are too obsessed with adding to their own. Yeah, just don’t be that guy or girl. Nobody likes that person.

What are your biggest Snapchat pet peeves?

]]>http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/08/12/7-things-you-should-really-stop-doing-on-snapchat/feed/0What a recent trip to Helsinki taught me about designing community spaceshttp://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/07/31/what-a-recent-trip-to-helsinki-taught-me-about-designing-community-spaces/
http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/07/31/what-a-recent-trip-to-helsinki-taught-me-about-designing-community-spaces/#commentsSun, 31 Jul 2016 23:02:47 +0000http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/?p=985Helsinki is a place that is surely fun to say, but I admittedly didn’t know much about before visiting. Normally, when I travel, I like to know something about the place or at least have a couple of friends there that I could lean on for some insider tips. This time I was flying blind. I literally knew almost nothing about Finland or let alone Helsinki. Aside from the fact, the sun sets really late and rises super early in summer. Seriously, it was still light at 10:30pm. The sunsets are breathtaking.

After spending a few days there, it’s actually a really cool, designed city. I later learned it was named the world design capital in 2012. Something that the Finns are quite proud of and for good reason. I would argue the city is designed to build a strong sense of community too.

What do I mean by that? The city planners in Helsinki do a great job of optimizing spaces for informal gatherings and meeting places. You can’t walk more than a couple of blocks before you wind up in an large open space. It’s a city designed for people to “live in public.”

A lot of cities in Europe have big open spaces and streets designed for community. Barcelona comes to mind with all the neighborhood ramblas. The difference between Barcelona and Helsinki is that there are no alleys and back streets to get lost and wind your way through in Helsinki. The city layout is deliberate, where you can always find an easy way to get around in Helsinki yet it doesn’t sacrifice the communal aspects of city living. (Btw, the trams, metro, buses and even the ferry are all integrated).

You can see these communal spaces indoors too. Shopping malls may be dying here in the U.S. But, mall culture is still alive and well in Helsinki. It’s the closest I’ve seen anywhere in Europe to the mega mall culture in Thailand. There are malls and market halls everywhere. The ground level of these malls are also usually metro and bus stops. I suspect the long harsh winters are the reason for all the indoor malls and gathering spots. I mean who wants to stand in -10 Celsius weather waiting for a bus or train? But, malls are deliberately designed as gathering spots.

The final thing is that even some of the art helps build community. There are turtle sculptures all over the city. After I saw a few, I had to figure out why the entire city had a seemingly collective turtle fetish. It turns out these turtles were created by a Finnish artist to act as traffic cones or barricades. It was meant to encourage more people to walk and ride bikes instead of drive cars. Not only is this good for the environment, but it also helps create more shared, collective experiences and serendipity among Finns.

As a community manager, there’s a lot we can learn from how deliberately this city is designed. At the core and highest-level, community boils down to relationships/connections and shared experiences. As I get deeper into this industry, the more I realize how much design and our overall environment plays a part in creating a strong sense of community. This applies both on and offline.

I think the impact of design is much bigger than many realize. I opened up this blog post sharing details from my trip to Helsinki and how that city is destined for residents to have a strong sense of community. Then, take a city like NYC (a place that I personally lived in for 2 years). NYC has millions of people and should have one of the strongest communities if you look just at size. However, it’s no secret that NYC has a loneliness epidemic. New Yorkers are loosely connected to 100s even 1000s of people everyday. The number of New Yorkers who are single as well as the number who self-identify as “lonely” or “depressed” on occasion is way above average. If you really think about it, the layout and design of the city is not designed for community to thrive. NYC is an extreme example of a grid layout built for efficiency. You travel to where you work, where you live, maybe one or two other areas to hang with friends or run errands, but you never have to leave that immediate bubble. When you add in the “gig economy,” that lets you outsource more of your errands (laundry, food delivery, groceries, etc). You can live the majority of your life in private. The exact opposite of places like Helsinki and Barcelona. On the surface, NYC life seems great and super appealing. You mean I don’t have to waste an hour a week at the laundromat. However to quote Poppy Liu, Founder of Pure House, community is built on the messy stuff. In order for communities to thrive, you can’t just show up when you want to be present and ready. You have to be authentic, vulnerable and willing to show some of the raw stuff. The best places to develop relationships and a sense of community are places where serendipity can easily happen or where people have idle time like laundromats, public parks, gyms, and even the grocery story (before we had smartphones to turn to in the checkout line).

That’s just as true online as it offline. While you can’t manufacture or fake authenticity or vulnerability in a community, you can certainly use design to influence it. And, make it easier for people to have shared, meaningful experiences which breeds connection and trust. It isn’t easy and takes time, but there are multiple ways to build this:

–What’s online equivalent of running into someone at a park and then grabbing coffee together?
–What’s your community’s turtle sculptures? A symbol that is really only known to people within your community and not by outsiders.

The overall community design needs to create meaningful experiences that both let people be individuals and get things done efficiently on their terms but also provide ample opportunities to get to know and connect with others on a deeper level. Everyone in the community should feel like they are a part of a purpose that is bigger than themselves.

]]>http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/07/31/what-a-recent-trip-to-helsinki-taught-me-about-designing-community-spaces/feed/113 Lessons Learned From My First Year as a Remote Community Managerhttp://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/06/26/12-lessons-learned-from-my-first-year-as-a-remote-community-manager/
http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/06/26/12-lessons-learned-from-my-first-year-as-a-remote-community-manager/#commentsSun, 26 Jun 2016 14:04:40 +0000http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/?p=980
About 9.5 months ago, I wrote a post reflecting on my first three months of working remotely. I realized I have learned a lot since writing it. I’m going to share what I’ve learned about myself and working remotely in the last year in this post.

In many ways, I still feel like I am brand new to this. Probably for good reason because I am still really new to this compared to many people.

And, I certainly haven’t stopped getting blank stares and random questions when I tell people about what I do for a living, and that I don’t in fact “work” from a hammock on the beach every day. Because a.) my productivity would tank. b.) Salt water, sun glare and sand don’t play nice with laptops c.) I’m freaking pale. I go from pasty white to lobster red, and lobster red isn’t a good look on yours truly or anyone for that matter. (PSA: Use sunblock folks! )

Here’s 12 things I’ve learned since I started working remotely more than a year ago.

1. Importance of managing my energy levels not just my time.
I mentioned in my earlier post that I developed a serious addiction to Rescuetime. Rescuetime is a time-tracking productivity app. One of the best features is it lets you to block “distracting sites” for X amount of time so that you can focus and get more done. Think: blocking Twitter and Facebook.

While Rescuetime is good, I have found it’s a bit incomplete. In addition to using this app, I also need to get better about being self-aware enough to know when my energy levels are at the highest and lowest. If your energy levels are normally lowest from 2-4pm (like in my case), there is no point in grinding it out at that time (unless you absolutely have to). It’s better to use that time to eat lunch, run an errand, catch up with a friend, work out or even take a power nap. Then, resume work in the early evening hours.

This is also an obvious perk of being able to work remotely is being able to work when you are most productive (assuming you still get all your shit done) and not some predetermined hours between 8am-5pm that HR tells you to work.

2. Having a designated work area and some structure to your day is everything.
Freedom is a wonderful thing. However, having no routine and too much freedom is a wonderful way to never get anything done. If your work hours change on a daily basis and you work wherever you feel like it, you aren’t going to be nearly as productive or dependable.

While it might not be as fun, do yourself a favor and establish regular working hours and a desk. For me, it’s generally 10am-7pm. You don’t have to work from your desk or even the same hours all the time. However, you should do it the majority of time. Structure and productivity go hand and hand.

3. No matter how much you plan beforehand, you will always sacrifice some productivity when traveling and working.

One of the biggest perks for me is having the freedom to move around more. If I want to and have the means, I can work from practically anywhere with electricity and WiFi. That doesn’t mean that I will be as productive as I am in Austin though. In fact when traveling, you will likely sacrifice at least 10% productivity especially if you move locations every couple of days.

4. Don’t let that stop you from traveling from time to time though.
A bit counterintuitive to my previous point. One of the biggest perks of this lifestyle is being able to work from another city without having to “take a ton of vacation time.” Just plan ahead so that you don’t get super behind. For example, wake up slightly earlier and work from 7am-2pm, and then spend the rest of the day enjoying where you are. Or vice versa.

Oh yeah, it’s worth it to pay $20 more / per night for an Airbnb or Hotel Room that has a desk (ideally) or larger table that you can work from.

6. For the love of God, take a day off when sick.
It’s really tempting to power through and work sick. Don’t do it unless you absolutely have to. Take it from the idiot (yours truly) that tried to do that when she had a 101 fever and you realize just how unproductive you’ll be and how many times you’ll be nodding off (both on and off calls). I ended up redoing pretty much everything I did that (because the quality was crap). It would have been better to just take the day off entirely.

7. Results and GSD matter way more than the time it takes to do it.
Results matter, butt in seat time doesn’t. Each day, I give myself between 3-5 tasks that I want to complete that day. I always write them down on my to-do list and also usually post them in Slack (for extra accountability). What I’m trying to get better at (but I still suck at) is stopping work for the day once I finish these tasks. Usually these tasks take me a full work day, but occasionally I can finish in 4 or 5 hours. I need to get better about learning to stop working when I’m done and not feel guilty about it.

8. Changing my environment is a great way to get unstuck and eliminate creative roadblocks.
Whenever I am feeling stuck, my go-to way to get unstuck is to change my environment. Whether that’s going for a walk, going out for lunch or working from a different spot, 9 times out of 10 that gets me out of a creative rut.

9. Getting better about asking for help when I am stuck on a project or task.
Confession- I wasn’t great about asking for help when I worked in a cubicle. So, it’s probably not surprising this is still something I struggle with. Something that I want to get better at.

10. Self-doubt and second guessing myself is still something I struggle with on a near-daily basis.
This is something I had in my earlier post. Something I wish I could say I was better about, but alas this is something I still need to work on.

11. Establishing a better exercise routine.
I’m not trying to run a marathon or be a prime physical specimen. However, I also don’t want to be on a future episode of TLC’s My 600lb life. It’s way too easy to be sedentary in this lifestyle. There’s a lot of room for me to get better about consistently working out.

12. Snapchat and GSD mode don’t mix.
I am really jealous of all the people who can snap every hour on the hour and still be a productive human being. I’m not one of those people. When I’m on Snapchat, I get sucked into the wormhole and get absolutely nothing done. It’s literally more distracting than logging into Facebook. That’s why I’ve resorted to muting notifications and “binge snapping” at night (and sometimes first thing in the morning). So, I can focus on work when I need to work and then use Snapchat when I unwind. Judge accordingly.

13. I’ve yet to master the elusive, midday “power nap.”
I’ve come to the conclusion that I suck at napping. People always rave about how taking a 20 minute power nap can rejuvenate them. Yet, I’ve tried it on multiple occasions. One of two things always happen. I either wake up after 20 minutes and spend the rest of the work day half-asleep and so not productive, which is the exact opposite of a “power nap.” Or, I hit snooze and manage to wake up recharged but a good 2-3 hours later. It’s for this reason that I’ve completely banned myself from napping unless I have no more calls or meetings that day (You know because missing a call b/c you were “napping” isn’t particularly professional) and I’m fully prepared to work through that evening/night to finish anything I started earlier that day.

Enough from me. What are your tips for working remotely effectively?

]]>http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/06/26/12-lessons-learned-from-my-first-year-as-a-remote-community-manager/feed/36 Lessons Learned from My First-Time Speaking at a Large Conferencehttp://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/05/25/6-lessons-learned-from-my-first-time-speaking-at-a-large-conference/
http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/2016/05/25/6-lessons-learned-from-my-first-time-speaking-at-a-large-conference/#commentsWed, 25 May 2016 05:25:03 +0000http://www.blog.jessicamalnik.com/?p=977Public speaking is scary. Talking in front of large amount of people or being the center of attention isn’t necessarily my thing. I also admittedly talk fast and wasn’t blessed with the natural charisma of awesome public speakers that I look up to like Brene Brown, Gary Vaynerchuk and Scott Stratten.

Sure, it was a lightning talk and only 10 minutes in length (compared to a longer keynote) with a short Q&A with my 3 fellow lightning talk presenters afterwards. But, I mean I was still going to be speaking in front of 300 people. The most people I have ever spoken in front of previously was maybe 30 or 40. These 300 people were also my peers – i.e. fellow community professionals. I instantly started envisioning the worst things that could happen on stage like:

Forgetting my entire presentation the minute I got on stage.

Tripping over my own two feet and eating it.

Or worse falling off the stage.

Luckily, none of those things ended up happening. <insert huge sigh of relief.> Overall, I think the presentation went fairly well. And, I learned a ton from the experience, which I’m going to share with you below.

During the Q&A portion of my talk at CMXsummit. CMX does their Q&A a little differently, by grouping a few speakers together for the Q&A.

Start preparing early.
There are so many things you can procrastinate on. Preparing a talk shouldn’t be one of them. Once you know you are a confirmed speaker, immediately take the time to create an outline or maybe a mindmap of your entire talk.

I found that outlining the key takeaways that I wanted attendees to get from my talk early on – helped me able to hone in and focus my presentation.

Stop tweaking your slides a couple of days before your presentation.
First, the conference organizer will hate you. As someone who has organized a conference or two before, organizers have a million other things to do in the week before a conference. Having to bug a presenter for their slides shouldn’t be one of them.

Not to mention the more you change the slides at the very end, the more likely you are going to be nervous and not know your presentation as well as you would like on stage. Do yourself and the conference organizer a favor and hand in your final slides at least a few days beforehand.

Memorize “the beats” not the entire presentation.
This tip comes courtesy of Evan Hamilton, who is not only a good friend but also the CMXsummit organizer. It took me a little while for this tip to really sink considering I spent the first couple of days after writing my talk trying to memorize it word for word. Even though I was only preparing a lightning talk (10 minutes), it was still proving to be a daunting task. After all every time I forgot a word, I found my mind going blank and then frantically trying to remember an exact word.

When I started to memorize just cues for key points and transitions in my talk, the process became so much quicker. As someone who is pretty new to public speaking, I even added some cues in my slides. (Sidenote: I know experienced speakers will probably cringe at this, but having a few subtle cues in my slides helped me considerably.) Sure, my presentation varied a bit each time I rehearsed it, but I found myself tripping up way less practicing my talk and even more so on stage.

If you are scared you are going to forget your entire talk, memorize the opening paragraph and deliver it while looking at the back of the audience.
This kind of goes against the previous tip, but is a surprisingly effective tip that I got from Richard Millington. Hands down the most daunting part of the talk (for me at least) is the very first few seconds when you are standing on stage in the bright lights and everyone is looking at you. This is when I knew I would be the most likely to stutter or freeze up. By memorizing the first paragraph cold (and having a back-up of it line by line in my hand which I didn’t end up using thankfully), I was able to start my talk more confidently. I used that plus the energy from the audience to gain confidence throughout my talk.

If you have more than 4 bullet points on a slide, you have too many.
There is no bigger public speaking sin than having a wall of text across all slides. After all, if you have a bunch of text, the audience will spend all their time frantically writing everything down instead of paying attention to you.

The more visuals you can incorporate logically in your slides, the better. By visuals, it doesn’t have to be photos, it can also be charts, graphs, screenshots, etc.

Practice your talk in full multiple times and in front of at least 3 different people.
A funny thing happens. The more I practiced, the more confident I got with delivering my presentation. While I was still very nervous before going on stage, once I got started delivering the talk on stage it felt easier (since I already rehearsed it a bunch)

While rehearsing, it helps if at least one of those people doesn’t know much about the topic. They will be able to spot things that may seem obvious to you but aren’t so obvious to everyone else. It also helps if you choose people who aren’t your best friends to sit in and listen to you practicing your talk. You want people who are going to give you critical but constructive feedback, and your friends are probably going to be more prone to sugar-coat it.

While I don’t think my speech was perfect (nothing ever is, really), following these tips definitely helped me avoid a disaster on stage. Read: I didn’t forget portions of my presentation or like fall off the stage. You might think I’m joking, but these were legitimate concerns of mine.

In case you were interested, my lightning talk at CMXsummit was all about measuring online customer support communities and how one particular metric – deflection – can be very misleading.