Just want to end it all

today i was with some friends and i decided to wear a short top in AGES because i figured my scars from cutting wouyld have gone by now so i wore sa short top ansd for a hour everytihng went fi ne and I felt i belonged finelly

and then

one olf my friendfs says "Hey what are thopse cuts on your wrists?" is say on just an accident somewhretg and they say No it looks like u self harmde! and then I say "I am dying for a piss" then go to the toilet just to let it all out.. i feel so worthless and unwelcome.. i took out my pen knife and just started slashing my wrists up.. i still can'y look at them anymore.. why does my life sujck so much i want to die now my life is so pointless and if I died nobody would notice FUXK IT ALL!"$

sorry ur hurting so much right now .. i self harm aswel ..alot of ppl find it really hard 2 understand us and why we do it .. i dont even understand myself sometimes .. but i kno what its like ..
mabye ur friends were concerned about u ? they might have not meant it in a horrible way .. is there any1 there u can talk 2.. mabye a friend or even call a crisis line for some more support ?
:hug:

YOur friend sounded concerned NOt too many people can understand self harm Maybe later you could explain it to him or her. You just need to learn new coping skills I know it is hard not to self harm but with time it can be learned. Let us know how your feeling later okay. We care and understand we will not judge anything here.

:hug: it can be really hard dealing with peoples' reactions to self harm, especially your friends - but maybe if you talked to them one-to-one and explained calmly that it's your way of coping with things, they might understand and be helpful and be there for you :arms: i hope things get better hun xx

from the sounds of it, i dont think your friends quite understand the severity of your s/h situation.

im no expert on the self harm thing. but what i do know is, there is a pain that is very difficult to deal with. some ppl have pstd and they are cutters.

it sounds like your kinda getting sore at your friends because they dont understand.

i know it has to be difficult as hell to not feel "judged" when ppl see your wrists. some "groups" if you will, like emos do it because its part of their "thing".

may i suggest that you try not to shut out those ppl that truley may be concerned about you. even if its just one that you let in your "wall" give it a shot. you will be able to tell if they mean well or not.

you dont have to deal with this alone. you would be suprised at how caring alot of ppl can be.