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Personal Development

Whoa, did you feel that? It was the rush of a thousand women as they all simultaneously picked up pitchforks, lit their torches, and vowed to never return to Self Stairway due to the misogyny of this post. “Pickup artists?! What are you thinking?” Now hear me out before I get crucified and lose my readers.

Apparently, pickup artists (PUA) aren’t all pretentious jerks who want to use sleazy methods to seduce “easy” women. I came across this article while reading Ramit Sethi’s words of wisdom and this really interested me in the topic.

Naturally, I conducted a bit of research and look, I came out just fine! I didn’t transform into some sort of fist pumping guido with a no-shirt policy (okay, maybe it’s because I’m too thin).

What I’ve learned is that these are all just normal people with the desire to better themselves as an individual. PUAs aren’t relying on pickup lines, tactics, and lies to get women to sleep with them. This comes as much as a shock to me as it does to you.

People often have some sort of one-way relationship with their friends, one more dominant than the other. One teaching while the other absorbs. This is very true for most of my friendships and I always felt like the one who had the lessons to give, teaching constantly and rarely absorbing anything new back. Not to say these relationships are any less interesting because I sincerely enjoy the company of all of my friends. There is just something different about one particular individual whom initially I was not the greatest of friends with, until one fateful ritual was established. I didn’t see the brilliance of this man’s perspective until our encounters were ritualized and perfected. The brilliance of a mentor mentoring his mentor.

People are told all the time, “be yourself,” but what does that mean? They promise everything will just fall into place as long as you remember how to be yourself, as if it is some profound, life-changing advice. Why didn’t you and I think of that? Huh, “be yourself.”

Really though, what does it even mean to be yourself? Even if you wanted to, do you know how to be yourself?

Truthfully, I doubt that many people even figure out who they are and perhaps never will know what it means to be themselves.

Starbucks for me has always been an amazing place of excitement. The atmosphere always felt just right for not only the high school and college crowd, but also young adults, and even people of business. I love walking to Starbucks or even Coffee Bean on any given day with a friend or two just so we can enjoy a quick ice cold Frappuccino. Then we’d excitedly sit down on the not too flashy black chairs and just converse on any topic. It was the simple things.

There’s something about the aura that makes you want to open up more. Not to mention the fact that there’s a sort of pop culture image of the intellectual or soulful tortured artist that ties in with the coffee shop scene. This image makes you feel like you are indeed an intellectual, taking part in an ancient tradition that may lead back to the great philosophers of Greece themselves.

When some people think of Starbucks, some terms may pop into their head. Maybe one person may shout out “overpriced”, the moment the coffee behemoth is mentioned. A more snobby critique would be “hipster”, and maybe put more kindly “lame”. It has an interestingly negative reputation, as all companies seem to once they dominate a certain market (think Walmart vs. small, local businesses).

Quite honestly though, the whole coffee shop scene that have swept across the states in recent years opens up a lot of amazing opportunities, for example:

I wish I were a superhero. No, not the type that flies around, shoots lasers through his eyes, and then walks through walls. I don’t long to be in some Stan Lee cartoon or film adaptation. Instead, I wish I could help those in need, regardless of how troubled, saving them from their faults and unfortunate situations.

Look at me, I’m talking like some sort of soon-to-be superhero, dawning his cowl for the first time. My English butler-aid would ask me, “Who will you be saving today, sir?” I guess maybe in some ways I am a superhero.

The things that cut the deepest are the situations that seem the most unfair, the most unforgiving; they’re the ones that hit closest to home, while in my case was quite literal. I had two tenants who lived in my house, sharing my roof for two years or so. Their names were Paul and Carol and they were two of the most genuinely beautiful couples you can hope to meet, on the outside at least. Surely not without their own characteristic faults, but nonetheless truly life-appreciating people. It’s unfair how life has treated them for the past few decades. Did I mention they’re both older than my grandparents? Imagine that.

I was a week away from going back to visit California, my home, after only five months of moving to Arizona; I had to plan my vacation ahead as my mind filled with ideas of grand adventures. My trusty Evernote account open, I made a note titled “California Plans”. I would have named it adventures instead but that thought hadn’t crossed my mind yet, also it would have been cheesy. The list included activities such as group karaoke, snowboarding, fencing, rock climbing, and several other things I have never done before; I longed to tackle everything in two weeks. It was going to be an amazing first return home.

December 15th arrived and my buddies picked me up so I could surprise my grandparents who weren’t expecting me yet. The surprise goes as planned then I made plans for the night to meet up with them and some others.

It was just half a year ago when the inevitable came, the oncoming and radical shift in lifestyle that I had been expecting for the past four or five years, the day I moved to Arizona. I had always known I would have to leave my relatively easygoing and responsibility-free lifestyle, moving to a more unknown state in which its inhabitants live at a much slower pace. You see, I was always a Southern California boy who was born and raised for the past 18 years, so how could I not be sad? There was no way I could blame this life changing decision on anyone else. It was all me. It was truly a daunting decision.

Why was I moving? Not only do Californians bombard me with this question, but this curiosity follows me even in Arizona. Quite honestly, I do not have a very good answer to that anymore. Why leave the life of endless potential adventures to settle in an area where there is not much going on? Why leave the people who loved me and the relationships I have built? Why go into a foreign land and start up again? I ask myself these questions a lot these days.

The thing is, I was running from something and I hate to admit it to myself. I was ultimately tired and unhappy with what I had. My family life I felt was stagnant, yet at the same time overbearing. Yet, looking back and comparing it to my current one, California’s was not bad. I noticed plenty of flaws in my social life that I felt discontent with, be it the quality of certain aspects or perhaps the loss of previous relationships.

Then again, towards the end of that chapter in my life, I realized my close circle of friends was quite amazing. I joke with a close buddy of mine from my former life that we had a very “overpowered group”, meaning we had a great mix of unique individuals that are hard to find elsewhere. Perhaps I’m just nostalgic.

As a side note, I debated whether or not if this post belonged on this blog. Education is frequently a very one-sided argument and I wrote it back in June of 2012. Well, here it is:

College is a wonderful time for everyone, especially eager high school graduates willing to take out loans that will indenture them into a life of compounding debt long after they graduate from college.

Why not pursue a college degree? After all, it awards you a shiny piece of paper they call your credential, and all it costs is about five years (which is the average) and several decades of debts from yesteryear and beyond. If you are not convinced that you need a college education just yet, there are tons of testimonials that can convince you otherwise.

Just ask Allison Brooke Eastman’s fiance, who gladly broke off their engagement after discovering her $170,000 debt. The charming young man was more than happy to break off their wedding plans to start flipping patties at a local McDonald’s in order to pay back the college debt. The previously soon to be married man was presumably ecstatic upon hearing about the debts Ms. Eastman has acquired over the years from her student loans. The young man asked to not be named directly but was quoted saying “I couldn’t be anymore happier the moment she told me what the big six digit number was. I don’t think the happiness from the wedding itself could have provided me such excitement!”

Every time I hear someone comment and say “I’m tired,” they tend to mean that in the physical sense. I nearly always comment immediately after, and say or ask, “Aren’t you tired of being tired?” People usually laugh it off and think I say it in jest, but I mean this in the most profound manner possible.

Being tired can apply to not only your physical being, but as well as your mental stamina. Now think about the people in your life. Most likely, many of them are tired in either, if not both of the ways I have mentioned.

Perhaps you are one of these people, which is why this title caught your attention. I will break down both of these categories and provide insight into how to break the cycle of being tired. If you are tired of being tired, it is time to make a change. Let’s stop being tired. It is important to conquer your mindset of tiredness and I am here to provide you with the tools to (re)gain control of your life.