BUT HERE IS THE THING. The first time I got drunk was with vodka—it was a strange experience, in that Legend was on in the room while we were all drinking, and all I really remember is (A) my friend Dave shouting "SOMEBODY PUT SOME GODDAMN PANTS ON MAVERICK" at the television, and (B) that I might have touched a girl's boob at some point after the movie ended. Whoo! High school in Salt Lake City! Anyway, this also means that the first time I had a hangover was with vodka, and it was a terrible experience. A few years later, I decided to give vodka another shot; this decision was made at the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, where no one has ever made a good decision ever, and my decision was no exception.

So! Vodka. We are not pals, me and vodka. And yet: I will soon possess 750ml of crystal-filtered vodka hand-crafted by Dan Aykroyd himself, and it will come to me in a skull-shaped bottle that will probably bestow me with mystical powers. I will, of course, be drinking it, probably while repeatedly and loudly reminding Ned about how bad he is at making bets. But how I shall drink the vodka is up for debate, since I am not an vodka expert. So I turn to you, hard-drinking denizens of Blogtown, for your favorite ways to drink vodka: A screwdriver? A martini? That seems appropriate, obviously. Straight? Vodka and Clamato? Ugh, gross, that sounds fucking disgusting, nobody recommend that please. While watching Legend? For all I know, that is the way it should be done.

But please, help me out, drunks. How shall I best enjoy this vodka? Help me ensure that, in a mere nine days' time, my victory will taste even sweeter than it otherwise would.