Years ago I decided that Hidden Language Hatha Yoga wasn’t for me. I have quite a logical mind and I didn’t get how doing yoga while answering questions would help me. I never reflected back on that decision until a few weeks ago when I decided to take the Hidden Language Hatha Yoga teacher certification course. It was quite a blessing for me to be part of that training. During the course my logical mind made space and I had a glimpse of my next steps, a glimpse of who I am beyond the mind. This process of opening started in the middle of a morning Hidden Language class…

Tadasana
Standing with my feet on the ground, observing my body and my breath. Where am I now? I listen inside and start developing an understanding of the posture- a sense of communication with my body. We are asked to write so I come out of Tadasana and take some notes of my findings. The teacher leads us into a reflection about our life purpose and I am not prepared for such a question- my mind starts to spin around. I realize that I have completely lost my inner reflection and the seed of communication that had started to sprout in the mountain a few minutes ago is gone.

Reflection

I asked myself, ‘is answering the question what it’s really about? Am I missing something here? Should I continue to use my mind to find the best answer?’ A few months ago I wouldn’t have made the distinction between what my mind or my body says but in that moment, in the mountain, I realized how my mind is trained to give the right answer without listening to my process. Listening to my process might mean sometimes not answering the question but simply being present to what is. In that moment I decided to honor my process, my body and let go of my logical mind. I realized that Hidden Language is about listening and after class there was a spacious and peaceful feeling in me.

That day I took my reflection further, taking time to write about who I am and what it is to be who I am. How can I become more myself and catch my mind when it wants to mask my true self? While reflecting I had flashes of my life in Vancouver. At first I wanted to discard these flashes but since I was discovering a new way of listening, I followed my thoughts to see why these images came to my mind.

Vancouver

I lived in Vancouver for more than a year just before visiting the ashram for the first time. It was the first time I lived outside Quebec and it was one of my greatest learning experiences. I was living by myself, not knowing anyone nor having external financial resources. It wasn’t easy but reflecting back on it now it was a time in my life where I was really me. Since I didn’t know anyone I didn’t have to act or ‘be someone.’ This memory led me to know that ‘who I am’ is beyond my personality aspects and is today an inspiration. These thoughts and images of Vancouver were there to bring me back to the feeling of who I am without any acting. Realizing that, I felt my heart open and feelings of gratitude filled the space around me. There was a immense sense of joy and peacefulness similar to the experience I had after class in the morning.

Reality
Content with my realization, I went for a walk in the woods. Reality itself seemed different. I was more aware of my surroundings and the subjectivity of my senses was quite palpable. Looking at the trees around me I felt really small and yet looking at the mountains on the other side of the lake, I felt as tall as them. My experience of reality was somehow not tied to my ‘normal’ way of being. Something in me had shifted and it felt very tender and fragile. It was for me a new way of relating to myself and to Divine Mother all around me. This was Me, surrounded by Her. I cherish that moment now and it made me realize the importance of always continuing to uncover who I am.

Since I am quite happy with my progress and my life, I didn’t realize how much I was living from my mind and not from my heart. This process of uncovering my true self seems to get harder and harder. At the beginning the difference was obvious, my small self is destructive and invasive while my higher self is healing and humble. As I evolve the difference between both selves becomes more subtle, which makes it harder to differentiate and yet there is much more potential in me that is waiting to be uncovered! To know who I am in order to understand where I am going is the gem I am keeping with me now. It’s not about choosing something or making something new but simply uncovering what is already there. That is now my focus and is a clear goal that creates a foundation for all my practice.

Sharing

These glimpses of reality are really precious to me and sometimes I tend to forget about them because they are so subtle. These glimpses are there for me as a reminder of my true Self and to help me understand my next steps. In order to keep these glimpses alive and real I invite anyone who would like to share their own glimpses to do so in the comments of this article. I want to extend this invitation to everyone and especially to all the other teachers who took the Hidden Language Hatha Yoga teacher training with me this year! Sharing our glimpses helps us to remember that we are one!

many thanks Geoffroy for sharing your profoundly beautiful reflection!
it made me think fondly of my journey to partaking in the HLHY teacher training two years ago. i struggled with the thought of “worth”, like the training was less “worth-it” which really meant listening to my body was less worth-it. taking the training was a soothing balm to long ago hurt and a bridge to reconnecting to being grateful for my body, and all that it does for me.
listening does not require knowing the answer to the reflection. it just requires listening! being curious and grateful for what comes forward. being still enough to be aware of what is happening in the moment. what a practice!
standing in the mountain, standing in my life, and knowing.
Light
palma

Hey Gef,
Thank you for sharing this its really inspiring. It was just today during hatha that i felt i need to do some Hidden Language. Once i unpack and find my book it is going to become a part of my daily practice.
Much Light.
D

That was a wonderful reflection to read, since it took me back to my first experiences with the hidden language process. As a person who is very mind-driven, I initially had similar reactions to yours–but soon I could tell the difference between a response coming from my head and one arising out of the body. During my numerous visits to the ashram since, I have had many important insights coming out of the early morning hidden language class.

Reading your reflection also brought out my excitement about going to the ashram in January 2010 for the YDC. The hidden language will be part of my life for several months and I am looking forward to it. See you then!