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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I know it has been two days

It has been 2 full days since my last entry. Let me catch you up.

Saturday was a beautiful day. Great weather, great friend came to lunch and overall a wonderful day. The only little blotch was that Doug's car broke down and I had to go get him since Steven was running errand with him. All went well- my hands stayed at 9 and 3. I was probably more alert than the TWD (texting while Driving) crew.

Sunday: Church- it felt so good to get up and go church (drains and all). Aside from a really funky suit and tie combination from Pastor Joel, service was phenomenal. The simplicity in the message was very "deep". I feel something coming on with this one- it is still rattling around in my brain. I think us "christian folk" make Christianity too complicated. Time to go back to the basics for the "lookhowgoodofachirstianIam" types. Along with that a lunch of three generations and the realization that I am NOT ready to go back to work. Not because I don;t want to go but because my body is not ready.

Monday: I went into the surgeons because of numbness on my left side and a pins and needles sensation from my elbow to my shoulder (very very bizarre). Prognosis good but perhaps maybe not on the time scale I would like (ahh my life's story), however the right side drain came out so I am one turkey baster less. I also got to watch John play a little baseball- so yep- good day.

Now the 3 B'sBumps: The whole pins-and -needles thing- It is such a weird sensation. I am pretty energetic so getting tired so quickly is kind-of a bummer. I actually miss not being at work.

Battles: The whole pins-and -needles thing- It is such a weird sensation. Having to wait for healing before I can start the next process and the realization that I will not be done with this whole thing until after Steven graduates from HS. I had other plans for his senior year. Having him worry about his mama at this time was not on our checklist.

Blessings:Lunch with a friend who brought me more that sustenance. She brought Job 23. This chapter is chalked full of truths. I can actually see Job (my version of him anyway) shaking his index finger saying "Hey girl, you got nothing on me- Be strong and faithful and you will see how much stronger and more faithful our God is"For those of you northlanders- imaging his-story- very much in the present to my-story.

Lunch with 3 generations. How often do you find yourself at a lunch table with 3 generations...It is a blessing. You see just the day before- Melissa and I had chatted about the value of God's promise to generations. That we have known our value (and it was not in material or physical), because our parents showed us our value: intrinsically, spiritually. We are loved! Tatas and money mean absolutely nothing. We are such a legacy and so incredibly blessed.

Friends who have provided meals: Christine, Aida, Beverly, Shawn..Food is a healer--thank you! Darnel thank you for bring lunch to the boys at school. Such an incredible blessing.

I got the most amazing hug yesterday from a cancer survivor who was literally tickled pink that I was at the game- She was genuinely proud of me. Jean- you are my inspiration!

Rest- it is a blessing. For those of you who are like me and struggle with insomnia - rest is such a blessing.

2 things before I close-For those of you who want to know- about the physical- The scars are long and right now not pretty. I know because I would want to ask: (I will show them to you if you like). How did you feel when you first saw yourself- the answer- amazingly liberated. It is weird and I will have to get used to the scars but all in all OK. The next question would be how is Doug? which you don't ask and you should ( a least with us). I know that my breast were a clear attraction to Doug when we met (men are visual). I also know that he has not remained married to me for almost 20 years because of them. He is happy he has his wife whose prognosis is good.