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Very nice, the way that you describe this she could be fighting against anything. But when you metioned "Shiny metal glistens in my mind" I instantly thought of your "persona" cutting her self. Very nicely done and amazingly penned, though using very few words! Well done!

Theoretically, this poem could be about many different types of inner struggles, but it definitely sound like another poem about cutting yourself. I think it is wonderful. That is to say, the poetry is wonderful. I think that it is very unfortunate that you feel the need to cut yourself.

What an impact! I loved it ^.^
I liked the first and the last phrase the most - they paint really defined images in my mind.
But I liked the whole poem, of course! It's strange how poems have so little words but such large imagination.
Amazingly done!
xx Paige

AuthorReply

Comment | 29 words

Tue, June 21st, 2011 10:22am

Thank you!You're so right but it's also part of the charm of poem they can be short and only a few words but hold a world of meaning.

This is such an incredible poem, and I especially love the last line! You've written one of those types of poems that makes me have a lot of after thoughts, which is definitely a positive thing for you as the writer. Great job!
~McKenna Rose

AuthorReply

Comment | 14 words

Tue, June 21st, 2011 2:23pm

Thank you! I always feel good when I write something that makes people think.

What a talent you have... :) People who have to go through any pain every single day is just heartbreaking for me to see... I seem like a bad person for not helping... Well, I don't know how actually. Should I even help? I want to, but I'm afraid I just might make things worse :P

Well ANYWAYS! I keep blabbing about random stuff so the last thing is, keep up the AMAZING work!! :D

AuthorReply

Comment | 45 words

Wed, June 22nd, 2011 8:33pm

No you're not a bad person for not helping. It's a difficult situation but often just letting them know you're there for them is enough and also sometimes there is nothing you can do and it's something they have to work through alone. Thank you!