Tuesday, 19 January 2016

6 things I've Learned About Denial That Directly Impact Diversity.

Diversity is about our ability to embrace people from varied
backgrounds with respect and ease. To do this requires the social skill of
viewing things from multiple perspectives so we can accept new ideas and new
ways of doing things. In business, where "innovation" has become the word du
jour in recent times, and society in which people of diverse backgrounds are
more and more in our spaces, our ability to embrace diversity not only makes us
mores successful business wise but also happier as individuals. In a working
life spanning several decades I have discovered that the human tendency toward
living in denial is perhaps the greatest roadblock to our ability to embrace
diversity as a way of life and doing business. Here are 6 things about denial,
not all bad, that directly impact our ability to embrace diversity.

1. Keep Calm And Carry On

When we live in denial of any reality we numb ourselves to
the impact and presence of that reality. A good example is bereavement. When
first told of the loss of a loved one, many people just cannot accept that they
will never, and I mean never, talk to, laugh with, drink with, hug, hold kiss
that person ever again. The reality is so awful we numb ourselves to it and
subconsciously deny it’s happened. Not a bad thing if you have to comfort
others reeling in shock, organise funerals and the like. You are numb with
shock, but crucially are able to function because of the shock.

2. Let’s Face The Music And Dance

Well that’s not entirely true, you actually deny the mood music
and dance anyway, because denial enables you to keep up your spirits, even make
light of and joke about the awful event that you can’t face. Again, useful in
the short term. Who wants dive into a bottomless depression and fall apart?
There’s the famous anecdote of the paratroop officer on Arnhem bridge in WWII
whose lightly armed men, facing a crack tank brigade, were being torn to shreds
in that ill-fated action. He carried an umbrella throughout the fight and
explained to his men just before he died, “I’m hopeless with passwords but
everyone knows that only an Englishman would be mad enough to carry a brolly
onto a battlefield, so our boys would always know I was one of them.” Total
denial to the point of surrealism, but he kept his men’s spirits up to the end!

3. Dodgy Logic.

We deny reality by minimisation, rationalisation and fantasising, using their logic to hide from the facts. Minimisation
as in “Oh come on its not that bad really is it?” or “well look on the bright
side, things are getting better aren’t they?” This is the logic which says,
look on the bright side, the terrorists at Charlie Hebdo could have killed 20
or 30 journalists not just 12.

Rationalisation
to maintain denial is where explanations for behaviour are made without comment
on the value or worth of that behaviour. Saying that “well he behaves like that
because he’s never met anyone from that background,” may well be true, but
fails to acknowledge that the behaviour itself is hateful or inconsiderate. Rationalisation
feels to its victims like an excuse for bad behaviour.

Fantasising, living
in a dream world seems bizarre for adults but is very common and is one way of
dealing with unpleasant or thorny problems we cannot face. It’s almost as if by
repeating the fantasy often and long enough reality will disappear, but of
course it never does. Examples in daily life are pretending you did not very
publicly snub someone just the day before, yet meet them cheerily at the next
occasion. The denial is so effective that the victim asks themselves, “did I
imagine what happened yesterday?”, which of course they didn’t. Other ways in
which fantasies are maintained is censorship of speech where certain subjects
including diversity itself are just not welcome in polite conversation. The
unease created is a powerful way in which groups are held in line with the fantasy. If no one is talking about it, then it cannot be happening says the dream.

4. Denial Maintains The Status Quo.

Denial of a situation helps maintain stasis and never
addresses the problem. If an issue has been censored from sight, it can’t exist
and of course will never be addressed. How can you solve a problem that does
not exist?

5. Denial Is The Perfect Growth Medium For Impending Catastrophe.

Any problem facing an individual or a business metastasises
and grows when not addressed. The problems can be hidden in plain sight but
owing to a collective denial of the issue it can grow to the point it becomes
totally toxic to the larger community before it’s addressed. This happens in
personal relationships, in businesses and in communities. Couples slowly growing
apart, Group Think in businesses leading to awful decisions are
all examples. Why did our society not see radicalisation looming over the horizon, given years of
social statistics indicating exclusion in certain demographics? Why did it take
so long for the authorities to act despite countless allegations of paedophile
activity by high placed celebrities like Sir
Jimmy Savile . By contrast, diversity and other social challenges which are
widely spoken of without fear of censorship (such as women’s rights) see
continued progress even though resistance to them is deeply embedded in prevailing cultural
values and memes.

6. Denial Does Not Stop By Itself.

People need permission and an enabling environment to stop
denying realities that may be toxic to themselves, their businesses and their
communities. Individuals and usually those in positions of social, executive or
opinion forming authority usually need to take the lead and champion a
constructive way of dealing with the issue being denied. On a personal level, each
individual has to decide (or not) for themselves to liberate their thinking and
way of being. The rewards are plentiful – an enriched life based on reality, and an improved sense of self-worth that is shame and guilt free. Denial of reality
holds us all back and limits our lives to a fraction of the possibilities we
can help ourselves and others enjoy.

Your comments on Denial are welcome. Can you add insights on the subject?