Trump Threatens War With Mother Nature

“For FAR too long Mother Nature has attacked Americans with tornados, hurricanes, and earthquakes! I won’t stand for it any longer!” said Donald Trump.

Trump believes that President Obama has been weak on the natural world causing America to look like weak idiots.

“President Obama never had the courage to blame nature for our problems. He never had the guts to say, radical Mother Nature terrorism.”

A leak from the Trump administration suggests that he is planning to carpet bomb the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, and drop over 150 nuclear bombs into Indian Ocean because, “it will keep Indians from taking your jobs.”

Trump also believes Mother Nature is entirely responsible for climate change and so, “a show of force will get her to cool down.”