From Eroica With Love #6

Insha'Allah

It is 6:30 on a summer morning. Dorian is enjoying a morning doze,
with the window beside his bed open to catch the gentle breeze. His
aesthetic appreciation, however, is interrupted by the most un-aesthetic
arrival of James, who berates him for still being in bed.
Yanking back the covers, James then goes on to throw a fit over the
underwear Dorian has worn to bed -- an expensive pair James wants him
to reserve for special occasions. Resisting James' attempts to pull
off the underwear, Dorian feels that the day is not getting off to a
very good start.

At breakfast, Dorian receives a phone call from Beirut. After James
intercedes and makes certain the caller is the one paying, Dorian
speaks with a Mr Bakhzial. The Bakhzials, father and son, are
influential in the Beirut underworld. Having been most impressed by
Dorian's appearance on the summit telecast [in
Dramatic Spring], they
offer him information on a job they think will be well suited to his
taste.

The same summer morning, a different setting: Klaus wakes up at 6:30,
shutting off his alarm the instant it starts to sound. He gets up --
wearing conservatively striped pajamas, with an undershirt -- and heads
for the shower. Shortly thereafter, he enters the dining room of his
house, now in his usual impeccable uniform, and is greeted by the
butler. Klaus mentions that it feels hotter than usual this summer, but
is unreceptive to the butler's suggestion that his long-sleeved
undershirts might have something to do with that.

During breakfast, Klaus receives a phone call from the Chief (who is
still in bed at his own house), with orders to fly out immediately on a
new mission. As he leaves, Klaus tells the butler to prepare some
short-sleeved undershirts for him, but squelches the butler's
suggestion that he might like some sleeveless ones if he's going to be
travelling to a hot climate.

Dorian has just announced to his team that they are going to Iran. They
don't like the idea at all; it is only a few months since Shah Pahlevi
was deposed by the Ayatollah Khomeini, and the area is politically
unstable and dangerous. James, of course, objects loudly, not because
of the danger but because of the expense. Dorian tells him they need to
spend a little in order to gain millions: the treasure of Shah Pahlevi,
a portion of which was supposed to have been hidden before his enforced
exile. Dorian is intrigued by the history and drama associated with
this treasure, but James is still unimpressed. He is finally won over
by Dorian's offer of five worn-out pairs of underwear and becomes quite
enthusiastic, vowing to make the trip inexpensive.

The Eroica team sets out for Iran, flying on Aeroflot (because it's
cheap) to Istanbul. James proposes their taking a bus from there to
Iran, but Dorian prefers to sneak in, avoiding major roads. On the
plane, James practices his conversational Persian, limiting himself to
phrases useful in haggling over prices.

At NATO Intelligence headquarters in Bonn, Klaus is reviewing a map of
the Middle East. Mr Z brings him a list of the agents who speak Persian
or Arabic, and Klaus gripes about how few of them there are. Mr Z is
not among them, and Klaus tells him to study harder and delegates him
to stay in Bonn and answer phones during this mission. [This is our
first view of Mr Z in the Eroica series. He had been introduced in his
own Z manga a month before this story was published.] Klaus is not
happy with being sent to Iran, and grouses about the incompetence of
his men, NATO agents in Turkey, Shah Pahlevi, and humanity in general.

It seems that before the Iranian revolution, the Shah had received
important military information about Soviet missiles installed in the
Kara Kum desert. NATO wants that information, which is thought to be
still hidden in Iran, and Klaus' mission is to find and retrieve it,
without alerting the revolutionary government or the Soviets.

En route to Iran on a military plane, Klaus happens to catch sight of
an Aeroflot commercial plane and mutters about the "stingy idiots" who
would fly on it. Over on the Aeroflot plane, James is still practicing
haggling in Persian.

Klaus lands at a Turkish air force base, where he is greeted by NATO
agent Giovanni Steffano and Turkish lieutenants Sanjavi and Azhali.
Klaus immediately demands the details about his mission, but Lt Sanjavi
suggests they have some tea first. Steffano explains that in Turkey,
the culture is unhurried and it takes patience and a willingness to
adapt to the local pace to get anything done. Klaus calmly retorts that
he has no intention of conforming to their lazy way of life. Steffano
tries to lecture Klaus on cultural relations, but is cut off by a
bellow of "Shut up, wop!", Klaus' limited stock of patience having been
exhausted. He once again demands a report, and the shaken Steffano
tells him to contact a man whose code name is Ghedi, who supposedly
knows the details of where the information can be found. That's all he
has to offer, and Klaus sneers at him for not having accomplished
anything more than tea-drinking. Dismissing the locals as useless,
Klaus summons the half-dozen alphabets he's brought with him and
departs, leaving Steffano and the Turkish officers to grumble about his
impatience.

Near the Iranian border, two caravans move across the desert. We see
that the first one consists of Klaus and his men, in full Middle
Eastern regalia, or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Klaus says that the
best way to cross the border is as a caravan, since they aren't
inspected too closely.

The guards at the border question Klaus, as he doesn't look familiar.
He says that he recently inherited the caravan from his father, and
they readily let him pass. Behind him, he hears one of the guards say,
"You must be European," and turns to see which of his men has been
spotted -- but it's the leader of the caravan behind them who's being
addressed. ("What a flashy man," thinks Klaus.) The man is explaining
that he was a BBC reporter who was adopted into a Bedouin family while
making a documentary. This satisfies the guards, but when the man turns
to move on, he and Klaus meet face to face -- and yes, of course, it's
Dorian.

There is a moment of stunned silence as the two recognize each other
and each realizes that the other can give away his identity. To
forestall this, they throw themselves into each other's arms, staging a
greeting as of old friends reunited, to the confusion of their
respective followers and the fascination of the border guards. Under
cover of the embrace, Klaus pulls a gun and tells Dorian not to say
anything unnecessary. Dorian holds a knife to Klaus' throat and tells
him to keep quiet. They agree not to betray each other and Klaus
starts to move away, but Dorian -- never one to pass up an opportunity
-- suggests that they should "fool the audience a little more."
Embracing Klaus, he kisses him repeatedly. Klaus can't object out loud
without blowing his cover, and Dorian takes full advantage of this,
ignoring his whispered remonstrances and look of stark terror.

Eventually one of the border guards hesitantly asks if they could
finish up soon, as a line is forming behind them. Dorian apologizes
graciously for the delay. (Klaus is speechless.) The guard tells
Dorian, "Your wife's been crying all this time," indicating the wailing
James in the role of a veiled Bedouin woman, and adds that he can
understand why Dorian runs after men, "your wife not being beautiful
and everything." The two caravans finally move on, leaving the guards
happy at having "something to talk about for at least a month."

Dorian cheerfully parts from Klaus, who refuses to answer any questions
and marches his men off in a hurry. James is still in a jealous
tantrum, having timed the embrace between the two at a minute and
thirty seconds. Dorian explains that they were actually threatening
each other, whereupon James breaks into babblings about "the intense
aesthetic of sadism," and passes out from heat exhaustion. Leaving the
others to attend to him, Dorian gazes after Klaus and wishes him luck.

Klaus, meanwhile, is frantically swabbing his face with antiseptic
alcohol (provided by one of the alphabets, who wryly comments, "I don't
think he has rabies, sir,") and is still appalled at the recent
meeting: "He licked all over my face in public!" He decides that, while
he hates lazy Turks and wops, he hates Dorian even more.

Teheran, Iran: Dorian, back in European garb, strolls through the
streets. Its 7:00, and he has an arrangement to meet someone. He sees
a small, solitary figure in a chador, who shows him a flower and asks
whether he knows what it is called. "Its called 'Eroica', little
brother," replies Dorian. This is the expected response, and his new
acquaintance leads him away.

Klaus, also back to normal clothes, enters a crowded nightclub
populated by tough-looking men. They are being entertained by an
attractive belly-dancer who, seeing Klaus sitting alone at a table,
approaches him and tries a bit of a come-on. Klaus ignores her
advances, and says he wants to see Ibrahim Allashid. This gets the
attention of some strong-arm types nearby, and Klaus is escorted in to
see Allashid, in an opulent office full of armed bodyguards. He greets
Allashid by the code name of "Ghedi", and accuses him of having been so
successful in his "cover" that he's forgotten his real business. Ghedi
says he doubts Klaus' identity, and insists that he demonstrate his
trademark one-handed firing of a .44 magnum automatic. Klaus obliges,
blasting a hole in the middle of the domed ceiling. Ghedi is suitably
impressed, and Klaus demands that he reveal the location of the
military information.

Dorian's guide has taken him to an ornate house occupied by a turbaned
man and a dozen or so very pretty young boys. The proprietor is
disappointed that Dorian isn't interested in boys, but Dorian says he'd
prefer that they "ripen for four or five more years." Mr Bakhzial has
claimed that this man knows the whereabouts of the treasure. Dorian
asks about it, but the man has the local custom of conducting no
business in a hurry; he speaks of a "welcome feast" and orders one of
the boys to bring in drinks. They are served by Haalun, the dark-haired
boy who escorted Dorian to the house. His employer says Haalun used to
attend the palace before the revolution, and was a favorite with
several of the ministers. (The turbaned man seems to be running
something along the lines of a high-class agency for catamites.) He
offers Haalun to Dorian, adding that he can reserve ahead for four or
five years, since he doesn't care for young boys. Dorian tries to bring
the topic of conversation back to the treasure, but is told, "That is
for tomorrow." He walks out in disgust.

As he is leaving the house, Dorian is approached by Haalun, who offers
to tell him where the treasure is in return for a favor. Haalun was in
the palace at the time of the revolution and saw the treasure being
hidden. He speaks wistfully of perhaps seeing Dorian again in five
years, and the favor he asks for is merely a kiss, which Dorian
willingly gives him.

Klaus is briefing his alphabets on the location of the military
information: it is hidden inside a wall in the palace, which is now
guarded by the revolutionary government. He says it's best to send just
one person: "Who is best suited for this?"

Nighttime at the palace: the guards outside are approached by two
veiled figures, ostensibly women. One of them explains that her
companion is suffering from heatstroke, and asks the soldiers to help
support her to her home. A guard agrees to help out, and walks off with
the two.

Shortly afterward, the uniformed man apparently returns. He claims to hear
a noise from inside the palace, and offers to go inside to check. The
rest of the guards are bored and unsuspicious. We see Eroica's team
watching from around a corner, the soldier who assisted the "women"
tied up and gagged nearby.

Dorian walks cautiously through the dark palace, discarding the
headscarf of his uniform, which he finds too stuffy. He is seeking a
hall at the back of the palace, where the treasure is hidden inside a
wall. Just as he gets there, however, he stumbles across the
unconscious body of one of the guards and realizes that there must be
someone else lurking in the palace.

Suddenly, he is illuminated by a flashlight beam. He switches on his
own flashlight, which reveals Klaus, dressed for the job in a form-fitting
black outfit. They stare at each other in astonishment for a
minute (though they should both be getting used to this sort of thing),
then Klaus demands to know what Dorian is doing there -- and in a
uniform, yet. Dorian turns the question back on him, and goes on to
comment on how sexy he looks in the black turtleneck and trousers. As
usual, this sort of talk makes Klaus nervous, and he attempts to ignore
Dorian while searching for the concealed opening in the wall where his
target is supposed to be hidden.

However, Klaus soon realizes that Dorian is still standing behind him
and regarding him with a lascivious gaze. He whirls around to snap at
him about it, telling him to go away and do whatever it is he's there
to do. Dorian explains that he'd like to, but Klaus is in the way --
Dorian's objective is inside the wall with the green tiles, which is
exactly what Klaus has been working on. They both have deep misgivings
upon realizing that their targets are located in the same place,
but decide to find the hiding place first and argue about it later.

A square section of the wall is designed to come out, revealing a small
passage. It's only big enough for one person, and Klaus orders Dorian
to go in first, having no intention of letting Dorian ogle his rear end
as he crawls into the tunnel. Dorian comments, "Too bad I won't get
to see a very thrilling sight," but obligingly goes first, leaving
Klaus to cast a critical eye over his rear (and to give him a kick
when he doesn't move fast enough.)

The passage leads to a ledge overhanging a gap between the inner and
outer walls of the palace. Hanging over this ledge, with Klaus holding
onto him by the belt, Dorian finds a small shelf below it with a box
carefully placed there. He grabs it, and Klaus hauls him back into the
hall, a bit over-vigorously. ("You're lighter than I expected," he
explains.)

Dorian picks the lock on the box and opens it to reveal a dazzling
collection of jeweled ornaments. Klaus insists on sorting through them
first, and picks out a dagger in an ornamented sheath. "Hey, is this
'artistic'?" he asks Dorian, who says that it's impressive, though not
to his own taste. Klaus takes the dagger, telling Dorian he can do what
he likes with the rest. As he's turning to leave, Dorian calls him back
and drapes an elaborate emerald necklace against his neck (while Klaus
gets that deer-in-the-headlights look), commenting, "Emeralds look very
nice on a brunet." Before Klaus can stalk off again, Dorian finds
another dagger, this one in a heavily jeweled sheath, much more
elaborate than the one Klaus picked out. He is delighted with it,
though Klaus scorns it as vulgar.

The two are startled by a voice yelling for "Sallaha" -- the other
soldiers have grown concerned over the prolonged absence of the one
Dorian was impersonating. After a moment's thought, Klaus says they
should exchange clothes: "You don't look like a soldier at all, even in
a uniform!" Dorian suggests that Klaus is just getting self-conscious
in his tight outfit, but agrees to the trade. [Klaus is evidently able,
when it's necessary, to overcome his usual qualms about undressing with
Dorian around, as he goes through the costume switch without vaporing
about it.] With Klaus now dressed in the soldier's uniform and Dorian
in the black sweater and pants, the two prepare to leave. Klaus hands
Dorian a spare gun -- and then points his own gun at Dorian, saying
"Put 'em up!"

The soldiers have entered the palace and are searching for their
cohort. Suddenly Klaus appears, holding Dorian at gunpoint. In his best
commanding-officer mode, he berates the soldiers for not being around
to help him capture the intruder, and for letting someone get into the
palace in the first place. He orders them to go assist the unconscious
guard in the hall, and marches Dorian outside.

More soldiers are waiting outside the palace, and Klaus tells them he's
taking Dorian to headquarters. One of the men, however, is suspicious
because he doesn't recognize Klaus, and asks what regiment he's with.
Klaus stalls him for a moment, then decks him with a punch. This cues
Dorian to knock aside another guard and make a run for it; when one of
the soldiers starts to fire at him, Klaus shoots the rifle out of his
hands. Klaus jumps into a nearby Jeep -- while Dorian attempts to
provide cover fire and nearly nails Klaus in the process, Dorian's aim
with firearms being notoriously bad -- and drives away. Dorian soon
manages to elude the pursuing soldiers, scaling a wall and watching
them charge past below him. He then rejoins his admiring followers,
leaping gracefully down from the wall.

Safely back at his hotel, Dorian looks over the items he's brought
back: the jeweled dagger, the emerald necklace, and a few other
expensive odds and ends. [I'd love to know where he was carrying
them; the black outfit didn't leave a lot of room for concealment.]
James is disappointed at such a small haul, but Dorian tells him the
dagger alone is worth at least a hundred million pounds. However, he
dashes James' avaricious dreams by saying he has no intention of
selling it. James then suggests selling the gun Dorian got from Klaus.
Dorian objects, saying, "This is a gun he personally lent to me." This
throws James into another jealous fit, and Dorian gives in and lets him
take the gun off to sell on the black market. Finally left in peace and
quiet, Dorian muses over difficult personalities like those of James
and Klaus...especially Klaus.

Klaus himself has rejoined Ghedi and is examining the dagger.
Unfortunately, the microfilm capsule he's looking for is not in the
dagger's sheath, where he expected to find it. Ghedi points out that he
said it was in an "extremely beautiful jeweled dagger with artistic
value"; the one Klaus carried off is handsome, but more practical than
artistic. Klaus yells at Ghedi for not having given a more precise
description. It occurs to him that the dagger Dorian was exclaiming
over must be the one in question, and he orders Ghedi to locate the art
thief Eroica, saying that he stole the dagger. Ghedi says that he'll
get his men on the job "tomorrow", but after Klaus shows signs of
becoming very unpleasant, hastily revises that to "right now,
immediately!"

When Ghedi summons his men into the office to give them their orders,
Klaus is taken aback to see that one of them is carrying a very
familiar-looking gun. The man says he just bought it on the black
market; Klaus asks him if the seller was an Englishman, describing
James, and the man confirms it, adding that he got a great price on the
gun, one-fifth the usual going rate. [An unusual slip on James' part;
was he so anxious to get rid of any link to Klaus that his bartering
skills were affected?] Klaus is horrified, and considers this a brutal
insult to his pride. He's already mad at Dorian for interfering in his
mission and taking the dagger; now he demands that Ghedi track down
Eroica in six hours, tops.

Dorian, strolling through a garden in the morning, receives a visit
from Haalun, who is saddened to hear that he's planning to leave so
soon. As a parting gift, Dorian presents him with the emerald necklace.
Haalun, a perspicacious child, says, "Don't you have somebody else in
mind who deserves it?"; Dorian answers, "Well, I don't know about
that...."

Haalun says he'll never forget Dorian, and hopes to see him again in
five years. They say good-bye, and Dorian walks away, wondering whether
he'll still remember Haalun in five years. Dorian is very much a
creature of the present, and he is content to leave Haalun behind as
part of the romantic dream of Persia.

Back at the cute-boy agency, Haalun's employer is praising him for his
success in receiving such a valuable gift. He hears a car pulling up,
and tells the boys to go greet the arriving customer, which they
scamper off to do. The "customer", however, is unimpressed: "What a
creepy bunch of brats!" says the Major. The owner is puzzled at his
lack of interest, thinking -- to himself, fortunately -- "He sure
looks like he's into this...."

Klaus says that he's searching for the Earl of Gloria, and demands
information. The owner denies all knowledge of him, and is backed up by
the boys. Suddenly Klaus notices Haalun in the crowd, wearing the
emerald necklace. He demands to know where the boy got it; Haalun, all
wide-eyed innocence, tries to pass it off as a present from "a certain
owner of an oil company," but Klaus says he was at the palace and saw
the Earl with it. Haalun gives in and tells him the Earl has left for
Beirut.

As Klaus is heading back for his car, Haalun runs after him and asks
for a favor in return for having answered his questions. Klaus calls
him a "shrewd brat" and offers him money to "go buy an ice cream or
something." But Haalun says he doesn't want money. "I can't give you
cigarettes. Wait 'til you turn 18," says Klaus -- but that isn't what
the boy wants, either. Just as he did with Dorian, Haalun asks for a
kiss.

The result, however, isn't quite the same. Klaus is stunned at first,
asking one of the alphabets to confirm whether that's what the boy
really said. When Haalun tells him, "The Earl has done it," Klaus looks
even more horrified and then explodes: "Idiot! A child is supposed to
study and exercise in sports and carry on a healthy, constructive life!
You should never engage yourself in foul homosexual activity!" He
hustles his men into the car and practically flees, leaving Haalun and
his employer in puzzlement. "Maybe it's because he's a very bad
kisser," suggests Haalun.

In the car, Klaus is still ranting about Haalun having placed him in
the same category as Dorian. He receives a phone call from Ghedi, who
informs him that Dorian has left for Beirut. Klaus thanks him and says
he's also leaving for Beirut now. After hanging up the phone, Ghedi
announces a party to celebrate the Major's departure.

Dorian is back in Beirut, visiting the Bakhzials, whom he has presented
with a pearl necklace from the treasure trove as a souvenir. They
discuss the theft and Klaus' unexpected appearance. Dorian remarks that
he's really been too busy so far to enjoy the "grand fantasy and drama
of the Silk Road." Mr Bakhzial, senior, comes up with the idea of
lending Dorian their Jeep so he can go driving and see the country.
Dorian likes the idea.

Klaus, at the airport, receives the information that Dorian is heading
to Damascus in the Bakhzial's Jeep. Deducing that he will probably make
a sightseeing trip to Palmyra on his way, Klaus orders his men to
prepare a helicopter for pursuit.

Dorian and James are speeding across the desert in the Jeep, with James
complaining about Dorian's exceeding the "economical speed." Dorian is,
nevertheless, enjoying himself, and stops at Palmyra to revel in the
ruins of its ancient splendor. His reverie is interrupted by the
approach of a helicopter; binoculars reveal that Klaus is aboard.
Dorian and James take off in the Jeep, but James points out that they
have very little gasoline left and won't get far.

On the helicopter, the pilot is also warning that they're running low
on fuel. Klaus takes a rifle and fires at the Jeep; Dorian swerves and
the Jeep overturns, spilling him and James onto the sand. The
helicopter lands and Klaus approaches. He demands the dagger, saying
he'll give it back to Dorian when he's finished. Dorian hands it over
and Klaus quickly extracts the microfilm capsule, then returns the
"vulgar, showy" dagger. When Dorian asks what happens next, Klaus says
he's going to turn him over to the ICPO (Interpol). Dorian doesn't care
for that idea, and he and James make a rush for the helicopter, in
which they succeed in taking off, while Klaus and his men grab the
Jeep. Klaus is unperturbed, knowing that the fuel in the copter is
nearly gone and they'll just end up stranded in the desert before long.
He tells his men to get the Jeep back upright so they can get moving,
but they soon report that it seems to be damaged -- and has very little
fuel left. "That's why he snatched my copter!" thinks Klaus. "What a
shrewd son-of-a-bitch! Eroica!"

Dorian is admiring the sunset from the helicopter, but James distracts
him by pointing out that the fuel meter reads zero. They end up making
a hasty landing somewhere in the middle of the desert, where they'll
have to radio for help. Dorian is irked at Klaus having "cheated" him,
and while he's on the radio, also sends out a message for any KGB
agents who might be listening in, telling them that "Iron Klaus" of
NATO is stranded in the desert near Palmyra. We see that some KBG men
are in fact listening, including Polar Bear, whom we met in
Dramatic
Spring and who has no cause to remember Klaus with any fondness. "This
is my thanks, Major," thinks Dorian, "though I know you'll escape
somehow."

Klaus is waiting impatiently for his men to get the Jeep running, and
grousing about Dorian having interfered with his mission once again.
Feeling spiteful, he uses the Jeep's radio and calls up the ICPO,
telling them that the thief Eroica is stuck in the desert north of
Palmyra, with a jeweled dagger stolen from Pahlevi's palace. ICPO says
they appreciate NATO's cooperation. "Knowing him, he'll escape nice and
clean," thinks Klaus, "but he'd better have some chilling experience
first."

Dorian watches the crescent moon over the desert and thinks of Klaus:
"I'll pray for your fortunes of war, Major. From Eroica with love, good
luck..."

Klaus ignores the crescent moon as he works on the Jeep, muttering,
"How dare you give me this frigging car, Earl? Wait in the middle of
the desert for the ICPO to come and pick you up!"