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he’s kind of boring.

I literally haven’t spoken to Scott since I found out about his wife. Obviously. He didn’t bother me for a while, but I even went as far as canceling meetings that I knew we would both be at. I know it’s petty, but I can’t help it. I know I’m closed off emotionally and when I’m hurt, I lash out.

I talked to Nick. Admittedly, I let it drag on for a lot longer than I should have after my last post, but I finally got sick of living in my misery so I confronted him.

We were hanging out at his place watching TV and pigging out on the chips and salsa I’d brought over. The cat was sitting in my lap with her tail sashaying sassily in the air.

“You know, I think she really likes you,” Nick said, popping a chip in his mouth.

“What, compared to all the other girls you have over?” I said with a straight face.

He laughed with a mouth full of food and I just looked at him.

“What?”

“Why is that so funny? Do you have lots of girls over?” I asked.

Nick paused for a moment and I figured he was thinking up a lie to tell. Finally he said, “If you’re trying to ask if I’m seeing other people, the answer is no. Because I don’t want to.”

I liked that answer, but I still pursed my lips at him skeptically.

And then he added, “Are you?”

“No,” I answered.

“Okay, then that’s settled.”

And the conversation was over. But then another night, we were heading back to his place in a cab and his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at it, silenced it and put it back.

“I wish I believed you.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared out the window.

He backed away from me. “What is this all about? Have I done something wrong?”

And I felt bad. Like really, genuinely bad. So the next morning while we sat on the couch eating eggs and waffles with the cat, I apologized.

“I’m sorry for being a bit silly last night,” I said and immediately busied myself taking a big gulp of my tequila spiked orange juice.

I could feel Nick looking at me and I glanced back at him over the glass.

“Yeah, that was kinda weird.” He paused. “I like you. You know that?”

I nodded.

“The Reese I’m used to doesn’t get insecure like that,” Nick said.

“I’m not insecure,” I said slowly. I wanted to put into words how I actually felt – that I wanted to believe everything he said and that I probably did but I also just didn’t want to be taken advantage of or for him to think for a moment that I was stupid.

We let it go. Nick got a little bit distant after that and it started to feel like I was always texting him first and bothering him. But when I did text him, he was happy to hear from me and fun. I didn’t like that though.

Carly and Chris were here last month. I haven’t seen them in forever so I was actually really excited to hang out with them. Chris’s brother is getting married so they were here for the festivities and we all went out dancing one night. Carly and I had dinner beforehand to catch up.

“Chris really wants a baby soon, but I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,” she told me.

“Shouldn’t you have figured that out before you got married?” I asked.

“I just realized this, Reese,” she said, rolling her eyes.

I rolled my eyes back at her.

She came back to my place to change and get ready for the night. We were meeting up with friends and I already knew Brady would be there and honestly, I was kind of excited to see him. And since I knew he would be around, I wore a little crop top, a leather skirt and heels.

When we arrived at the club, some of Carly’s suburban friends were already there including this Middle Eastern girl named Aisha. I met her probably four years ago, but she’s had quite the glow up since then. Long black hair down to her ass, blue contacts and a skin tight black dress. She looked good. She’s a retail pharmacist who used to wear boot cut jeans and glasses.

“Reese!” she greeted me with a hug. “It’s been so long. You’ve lost weight?”

I have lost a little bit of weight, especially since she last saw me. So I appreciated that.

Brady showed up about an hour later. I spotted him as soon as he walked in the door so I started talking to Carly to look busy. I was telling her that I was thinking of getting fake glasses to be taken more seriously when she literally threw her hands up to wave.

“Brady!!”

“Oh, I didn’t even know Brady was coming,” I said nonchalantly.

Carly turned and gave me a “Yeah, right,” look. Brady elbowed through the crowd and joined us, greeting Chris with a hug first. I don’t know why, but it touched my heart. He hugged Carly next and when they pulled away he seemed to notice me for the first time.

“Hey you,” he said, nodding his head at me.

“Hey!” I exclaimed and I threw my free arm around his neck. I don’t think he was expecting that and neither was I. When we pulled away, Brady kept his hand on the small of my back for half a second longer than he needed to and I smirked at him.

“How have you been?” he asked me.

Before I could respond, Aisha jumped out of nowhere and introduced herself. “I’ve heard so much about you. It’s about time we finally met.”

At first I was thinking, why would she have heard about Brady? But then I thought, well they are both pharmacists and Carly probably told Aisha all about him and how smart they are and how much they have in common.

“Nice to meet you,” Brady said. I stood there waiting for him to come back and talk to me, but he and Aisha continued chatting.

About an hour later, after I’d spent some time hanging out at the bar with Carly, we rejoined the group. I was shocked and appalled to find Aisha bent over at the waist, bumping and grinding on Brady. He was laughing, but not exactly pushing her off.

Carly caught me staring and said, “Relax. You’re allowed to move on and so is Brady.”

“Why would he want to move on with that?”

Carly rolled her eyes so hard that it probably hurt. I stared at the spectacle until Brady looked up at me and at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

Carly grabbed my arm. “Let’s go find Chris.”

The next time I saw Brady and Aisha, they were in the same spot, but they were just talking. Aisha ran over to me and said, “You don’t mind, do you Reese?”

“Mind what?” I asked.

“Me and Brady!” she sang. “He’s so nice!”

I couldn’t believe the nerve. I glanced at Brady, who was still standing in the same spot, but sipping his beer and talking to a guy friend. I stormed away from Aisha without saying anything.

The night ended at my favorite late night food spot and I noticed Brady was absent from the group. I hadn’t seen him in a little while and I was annoyed with myself and Aisha that I didn’t get to talk to him more. I wanted him to see how normal and mature and fun I’ve become. And I wanted to make sure he missed me.

The next morning, I woke up delighted to find a text from the man himself.

“It was nice to see you tonight,” Brady had sent at 2:34 AM.

I stared at my phone for about 15 minutes before deciding to reply, “You too.”

Carly and I met up with Preston to get lunch, have manicures and do some window shopping. I don’t know if I told y’all Preston is engaged? He’s still working part time at a boutique, but he’s playing the full time stay at home role to their 18-year-old cat. His fiancé is some real estate mogul and they live in this multimillion dollar penthouse not far from me. I’m totally jels.

That night, we went to a bougie dinner with Kendra and John (the baby was at home with John’s sister and her husband). Halfway through dinner, when John was having a conversation with himself about inflammation, I realized that Brady had not texted me back. I didn’t give him anything to text back to, but still. It’s me. I’d had four glasses of rosé and literally no pride, so I texted him again.

“How’s my baby?” I asked.

“Me or Tucker?” Brady replied immediately.

I couldn’t help smiling at him flirting with me. “Well, I meant Tucker but I guess you can tell me how you’re doing also.”

The three dots appeared and stayed for about two minutes. Brady’s response was long – about Tucker’s checkup (he’s about a pound overweight), haircut and daycare he’s being going to. And Brady’s low key life consisting of lots of work. He even had to hire a dog walker because he’s hardly home. I expressed that I didn’t appreciate him hiring some random person who I’d never met to walk Tucker. At the end of our conversation, we’d decided that we’d meet up later in the week to take Tucker to the dog park. I was ecstatic for my date.

I somehow ended up at Nick’s that night. Like I said before, he’d been distant and hadn’t initiated us hanging out so I finally just called him and asked to come over.

“Hey stranger,” he greeted me at his door.

“Hey. I was starting to forget what you looked like,” I joked.

We hung out in his living room for a little while and finished a bottle of wine. We had a lot to talk about since we hadn’t hung out in so long and while it felt like no time had passed, I couldn’t stop thinking about Brady. And I was so annoyed with myself for it. Here was a guy who was actually into me and wasn’t about to deal with my ridiculous shenanigans. But I guess that just isn’t fun for me.

Once the night was winding down, Nick asked, “Do you want to stay over?”

I thought about it, but decided not to because I knew we would hook up and I knew I would feel bad about myself since I would’ve thought of Brady the whole time. So I declined.

By the time our date rolled around, I’d pushed most of my lustful thoughts out of my head and was mostly just excited to see Tucker. I met Brady at his house after changing into my sexiest athleisure outfit. He was in the kitchen eating celery and carrots in jeans.

“You look cute,” I couldn’t help saying.

And then Brady looked up slowly from the counter to me. My vagina literally jumped.

Brady popped a carrot in his mouth and offered one out to me.

“I guess I could eat my first vegetable of the week,” I said, taking the carrot from him and joining him at the counter, making sure to stand about 6 inches too close.

“How was your day?” Brady asked me.

“Fine. We think my boss’s boss is leaving the company soon so everyone is on edge hoping we’ll all get promoted in a reverse domino effect,” I said.

“Really? What would it mean for you?” he asked.

“Hopefully a promotion. But considering…” I don’t speak to Scott and communicate to him through email and Post-Its. “Probably not.”

“Well, I hope you benefit…no matter what ends up happening.”

We headed to the dog park and played with Tucker outside for about an hour and a half. Brady let me have the most fun – throwing the tennis ball and rope – since obviously I don’t get to do that with Tucker very often. And I couldn’t stop watching Brady watching us. He looked so good in his jeans and t-shirt just fucking standing there.

Finally Tucker and I ran back over to him.

“I’m exhausted and I probably smell like a kennel,” I said.

Brady made a grossed out face and I slapped his arm. “I don’t really.”

“Okay, let’s leave then,” he said.

We walked back to Brady’s and I waited for him to invite me to stay longer.

“Do you want a glass of water?” he asked me.

“Yeah and do you have tequila or anything?” I said back.

Brady laughed and pulled a bottle of tequila out of a lower cabinet.

“You’re the best!” I squealed.

We made drinks and sat in the dining room talking for a little while. I couldn’t stop touching him. You know how in high school when you have a crush on a guy, you find any reason to touch his arm or shoulder and it’s borderline obnoxious? That was me. I could tell he enjoyed the attention, but I wanted Brady to touch me back. Or something. I wanted something.

When I finally called an Uber at 11 PM to go home, Brady was the one who reached in for a hug. I guess that was all I was getting.

On my way home, he texted me, “Thank you for coming by to see Tucker today. He and I really appreciate it.”

And since I’d come on so strong and was kind of embarrassed, I didn’t respond.

Until that weekend. I was out with my friend Ava and texted Brady to see what he was up to.

“At Halligans with some friends. You?” he responded.

I turned to Ava. “Let’s go to Halligans.”

We hopped in a cab and were there in less than five minutes. It wasn’t until I got to the door that I realized by “friends” Brady could have meant a girl. Fucking Tia for all I knew. But still I charged in (as much as I could with the crowded bar) like I owned the place. I spotted one of Brady’s loser friends standing at a table and headed over. Brady was sitting down.

“Oh my God, hi!” I exclaimed. “I had no idea you were here!”

I threw my arms around Brady before he could say, “I just told you I was here.”

“How’s your night going?” I asked, sitting down in the booth next to him.

“Good, thanks. I’m happy to see you.”

We began talking. First about how our nights were going and then the rest of our weeks and then our friends. Ava and the two other guys went to get more drinks from the bar and we all just hung out and drank and talked and bonded. It was actually a lot of fun and kind of felt like old times when Brady and I would get shit faced together.

Later on, the rest of the group decided they wanted to go to a rooftop in River North, but Brady and I didn’t want to leave the neighborhood.

“Reese, I’m gonna go,” Ava whispered to me, gesturing to the guys.

I shrugged. “Okay, have fun, hun!” I said and gave her a quick hug.

Brady and I stayed for about an hour after everyone left just sitting at the booth and drinking. Eventually I suggested we go get something to eat. I got up and watched Brady get up slowly, like he was just now realizing how drunk he was.

We got in a cab and Brady told the driver his address.

“I thought we were getting food?” I said, confused.

“I have food at my place,” he said.

I couldn’t help smiling at his smoothness.

“I have a question that I need a real answer to,” I said.

“Okay.”

I made sure Brady was looking at me and he was, like he was super curious about what the question could be.

“Did you have sex with Tia?” I I asked.

He looked taken aback, almost like I’d just hit him. And when he did that, I thought, “Yep. They definitely fucked.”

“No. No…never,” he answered.

“Do you swear?” I asked like a 13 year old.

“Swear. I never even kissed her. I’m not attracted to her at all. She’s sleeping with a 60 year old man,” Brady said, almost shuttering.

“I believe you.”

“Why did you ask me that?”

I shrugged. “Rumors.”

“Did you have sex with your boss?” Brady asked.

I gasped and felt like crying at the thought. “No! Oh my God, no! I could never!”

“I believe you.”

We got back to Brady’s and he put a frozen pizza in the oven for us. I was sitting on the couch and he came and sat next to me after the pizza was in. As soon as he sat down, I leaned over and kissed him. Within ten minutes, I was horizontal on the couch and Brady had my dress hiked up and was working on getting my panties down.

I decided I’d let him eat me out, but stop things there because I do have some dignity. And so I let him and was really enjoying myself until I was about to come and I randomly got a picture of my fucking stupid ex in my head. I literally screamed. At the same time, the smoke detector started going off.

Brady jumped up. “I forgot the pizza!”

Obviously the mood was kind of ruined after that. The pizza was black so Brady brought us Doritos to eat and we both passed out on the couch.

I feel like I kind of got the Brady thing out of my system so I’ve been hanging out with Nick the past week and a half. I’ve practically moved into his apartment and brought half my wardrobe over so I have plenty of options when getting ready in the morning. I can’t lie though, he’s kind of boring. Almost every night, he falls asleep after we eat dinner on the couch. The first few times he did it, I let him sleep but lately I’ve been waking him up to pay attention to me. Cocoa can only entertain me so much.

So now I’m forcing myself not to text Brady back.

Oh, and Carly just found out that she’s pregnant.

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33 thoughts on “he’s kind of boring. ”

Lindasays:

My goodness Reese, if you liked nick as much as you claim you wouldn’t have even considered hooking up with Brady. Don’t you think it’s inappropriate? Stop wasting Nick’s time. Seriously if he’s too boring for you, move on. Plus he’s right, you are insecure.

I find your comment questioning why Brady would want to”move on with that” when referring to a middle eastern woman, as very offensive and racist. “That” is an educated, beautiful woman who probably would give Brady the respect he deserves instead of constantly seeking validation from other men. Stop being a bitch to everyone you’re threatened by. Aisha nor Brady owe you nothing. I can’t help but remember when you were dating the baseball player, you made a similar offensive comment about an Asian girl. Grow up!

that comment I made had nothing to do with her race – I think middle eastern women are BEAUTIFUL and I even said she was beautiful. I’m sorry if it came off that was, but I was just trying to describe what she looks like. I didn’t mean to be racist or offensive at all!

I’m not referring to your description of how she looks. When she was dancing with Brady you asked Carly “why would he want to move on with that?” That question Has nothing to do with your description of her. This is just my opinion. Maybe others will view that statement differently.

I agree that it sounds racially insensitive. If some described me, race and all no matter how beautiful they say I am and then refer to me as that I’m offended. That implies an inanimate object or insignificance. Would you like it if someone referred to you like that? Even Carly was appalled by your lack of common sense. Brady is not yours. When he was you treated him like crap. Now when he’s trying to move on like you did with nick, you’re jealous?!?? Cut nick loose, you’ll just ruin him. You ask for faithfulness but then hook up with Brady? No you chased after him. It wasn’t like he sought you out. You wanted him and then you claim to have moved half of your clothes into nicks place.

I don’t think because I described her race and then wasn’t very nice I was racially insensitive. but if that’s how it was perceived then I apologize. that was not my intention at all and I had no idea anyone would take it that way.

Oh my holy Jesus that was a lot to take in. First thank you for that post girl; your stories brighten my day.. or night since I’m on the east coast lol. I’m happy that you stepped back from Scott. I stepped back from my guy too but still I look in the direction of other guys. Girl to hook up with your ex goddamn. Especially with him being smooth stating; “I have food at my house.” Well; hello. Party at Brady’s 😉 Congratulations to Carly with the expecting child. I hope that there are more good stories soon. I’ll talk more about Nick later. I’m exhausted. It’s 1:30am here lol

Wait, you made Nick feel like crap by passive-aggressively accusing him of having contact with other women, then waited until the next morning to apologize even though you recognized you were wrong at the time, had a conversation with him about not seeing other people, and then stalked Brady until he was drunk enough to try to hook up with you? Are you really not reading what you write and then thinking to yourself “I really need to talk to a therapist”? Because that’s my first thought for you after most of your posts. Wow.

I just want to follow up from Anna’s comment because everything she said is on point. Personally, I’m so confused! D; WHY REEEESE?! I thought you liked Nick, you could have asked him everything straight out in one conversation and confess how you were feeling. It seemed like a missed chance to get reassurance and for him to understand why you had been acting so passive aggressively/ insecure.

I thought you were over Brady? Or trying to. But the moment you got jealous about Aisha and him, you should have taken a step back. He’s not your boyfriend anymore. You seem too focused on him.. think more about yourself instead of ‘I want him to miss me’. Asking him where he was, then showing up at the same place?! Kinda creepy and stalker like.. Your post makes it sound like all your attention was on him and you ignored your friend Ana. Also, you sound really desperate.. are you okay?

If you expect Nick to be faithful and not engage in any sexual activity with other women.. that should be reciprocated.

Is it bad that I’m still rooting for you and Brady? As good as Nick sounds, if there is no spark then sometimes it’s best to move on. I say this from experience… I dated a guy that was perfect on paper and treated me like a princess but something was still missing for me. I missed this blog!

Before I forget, I am going to Chicago soon and I’m probably going to need some suggestions where to go (it’s my first time 🤗)

lol I thought that I was the only one feeling like Team Brady! I sure wasn’t a fan of his when they were ending their relationship but am always hopeful that people can change! 🙂
Thanks for the post Reese!! Come back again soon – I miss reading more frequent updates from you!

Ladies before we grab pitchforks and battle axes. Resse recognizes what she did. In regards to Nick; I don’t know. Maybe give him another chance. The other girl thing isn’t fair to you. However; do you miss Brady a lot or is it the alcohol; because I feel as though there is definitely alcohol fueled situations with Brady around. And I’m not putting all the blame on you either. I’m sorry; I don’t want to judge. And I’ll stand up for you. Maybe spend some more time with tucker; shopping always works; spend all of that hard earned money 🤑

What has Nick done wrong that Reese should give him another chance? If anything she needs to be honest with him. What other girl are you speaking of? The ones that Reese has made up in her mind? Reese is the one who made Nick feel horrible by being passive aggressive and then she hooks up with Brady. How hypocritical is that? Seems like Nick is the innocent one in all this. Also how can she practically move in with Nick when she’s not that into him?

If Reese recognized what she did then she would take steps to make changes to prevent similar incidents in the future. She has not done that over the past couple years and keeps doing the same thing over and over.

I have to say, giving constructive feedback isn’t “grabbing a pitchfork”. That was a little over the top, don’t you think? Second, what “other girl thing” are you talking about with Nick? Seriously, did you misread something in her post? When you read these situations from Reese’s perspective (as we all do, obviously) it’s really hard to see how her making the choices she makes is anyone’s fault but her own. Our choices are ALWAYS on us. They are the only thing we have control over in life.

It would be interesting to be a fly on the wall in one of these cases, however. It is clear that she has a LOT of insecurities, so I wonder how much that skews how she relays the things that happen back to her readers.

Your right; the other girl thing was a mess up on my part my bad. 🤔 What I meant to say was that she needs to trust the fact that him and Brittany may be friends. And just that. He seems really into her.

I think: “Are you really not reading what you write and then thinking to yourself “I really need to talk to a therapist”? Because that’s my first thought for you after most of your posts. Wow.” is exactly like grabbing a pitchfork and not at all “constructive feedback”. Constructive feedback would look more like, “Reese, it seems like you’re in a bad place. Have you considered going back to therapy?”

The name of the blog is “HOT MESS in high heels” for goodness sake. Of course I’m rooting for Reese and want her to be happy, but these misadventures and bad decisions are also totally engrossing and entertaining to read. I have no idea what fuels Reese to continue to blog. She’s certainly kept it up a lot longer than many bloggers I used to follow. She tells it all, honestly, and doesn’t paint herself in a better light when she certainly could if she wanted to.

We’ll have to agree to disagree. I see blogging as a sort of public diary. If I were writing in my own journal or blog about the situations she continuously writes about and re-reading it to myself, I would have that thought. “I should maybe ask for help from a therapist.” It’s unfortunate it read as “pitchfork-y” to you, but it wasn’t said that way. Tone doesn’t usually translate via the web accurately. Oh well.

Reese let me just say again: kudos to you for putting yourself out there and sharing your story, good and bad. I’m not going to lie and say I agree with all the decisions you make or how you handle every situation, but at the same time I think it takes a lot of courage to openly write about yourself and your struggles and shortcomings. To the best of my knowledge, none of us actually know you or really know your story so you could write whatever you think people wanted to hear as opposed to what’s really happening in your life. As someone who has faced and is dealing with my own demons I can say that therapy can be helpful if and when you’re ready to explore that option but I also think taking the time to write about your experiences honestly is probably also cathartic in a way. I like that you’ve never pretended to be someone or something you’re not. I appreciate the honesty of your writing even when it doesn’t paint you in the best light. I hope that you’re able to find the happiness and love that you want and deserve. I’m rooting for you Reese!!! ❤

Oh Reese!!! You know you deserve more than this!!! Cut ties with Brady and let him move on. It’s clear you aren’t getting what you want out of your relationship with Nick, so you may want to weigh your options on that front as well.

You keep mentioning that there is something wrong with you…..I don’t necessarily agree. That is one of the most self aware observations you have made in a while. While your actions may indicate otherwise, there isn’t anything wrong with you….you just have a skewed need for attention.

A friend of mine used to act a lot like you and she was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. It seems like a horrible diagnosis, but is common and treatable with therapy. She was attention seeking, self absorbed, and her actions alienated a lot of people. She was always lamenting that there was something wrong with her and finally saw a therapist who diagnosed her. She is so much better to be around now that she is aware of her issues. Maybe this is something you should consider.

No matter what, you mean well and are vulnerable and have feelings. You deserve a great and happy life. You just need to get some of your issues in check.

This is my first time commenting but I wanted to let you know you’ve lost a follower and I wanted to let you know why…

In the entire time I’ve been following your story, you have not progressed or developed or grown up as an individual. Not. One. Inch. You need to be single and work on your own issues for a looong time before you mess with anyone else. The thing is though, you don’t seem to care about developing your own value or self-worth. And so I’m out. You’re being a terrible cliche of what women are; attention-seeking and clingy and unable to survive without a man. I can’t support someone who isn’t interested in being a strong, happy woman. Good luck and I hope you grow up soon.

This is my first time commenting but I wanted to let you know you’ve lost a reader and I wanted to let you know why…

In the entire time I’ve been following your story, you have not progressed or developed or grown up as an individual. Not. One. Inch. You need to be single and work on your own issues for a looong time before you mess with anyone else. Full stop.

The thing is though, you don’t seem to care about developing your own value or self-worth; it’s really quite sad. And so I’m out. You’re being a terrible cliche of what women are; attention-seeking and clingy and unable to survive without a man. I can’t support someone who isn’t interested in being a strong, independent, happy woman. Good luck and I hope you grow up and start focusing on your own self-worth soon.

Reese is in her 20’s she is supposed to make mistakes and learn from them. And that is what I see her doing. Some days are better than others but she is progressing and that is a good thing. She is pretty cool And a badass. I’m 23. And I have done some of the things that she has done. The important thing is that she is moving forward with her head held high. Everyday; what I’m getting from her posts is that she learns a new lesson and is telling us about her experience. And I for one do not learn my lesson everyday sometimes. So; Resse you’re doing better than me. A new day is another opportunity to make it better than yesterday. And I see you doing that. We grow at the pace that we want. Not when someone tells us. Because then the result will be for them and not for ourselves.

I don’t get the people who feel the need to come here and put Reese down and say they are leaving – yet calling Reese out for wanting attention. If you have an issue with sometihng she has said or done, or a negative comment then post it. If you can’t stand the way she lives her life or handles herself why keep reading? This is not meant to be a lifetime movie where main character suddenly becomes perfect. If you say that you can’t put up with how Reese hasn’t changed why did you read this blog for so long, seeing no differences? Sorry this stuff just confuses me. Personally I agree with a poster above – I think writing in here is therapy in a way and sometimes it makes things clearer. Keep being you Reese – it will all fall into place in time.