Roll that spliff phatly, pack some fresh ice into the binger, and set the Volcano to "toastify." It's time for tonight's Stoner Channel. We've collected our best high-times material for the discerning pothead so sit back, relax, and pass that shit on the left, yo.

Tonight's purplicious nug of Bomb Purple Urkle comes to us from reader, Cho

The Other 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

Washing machines committing suicide (or being injected with a lethal brick depending on your perspective) are home appliances' gift to the Internet. It's like the machines are realizing their full comedic potential! This one, in particular, is awesome because of how meticulously it breaks down. Little by little, piece by piece, you can't look away.

Alternate titles included:
"Et Tu, Maytag Man?"
"Washing Machine Gets a Hot Brick Injection"
"Centrifugal Force Is a Hell of a Drug"
"The Fastest Way to Disassemble a Washing Machine Using Only a Brick"

Bob Marley's Marijuana Plantation in Jamaica

Forget Kenya. Never mind the secret madrassas. The sinister, shocking truth about Barack Obama's past lies not in east Africa, but in outer space. As a young man in the early 1980s, Obama was part of a secret CIA project to explore Mars. The future president teleported there, along with the future head of DARPA.

I love dogs. I love dogs in cars. They are so happy when they get their heads out of the window and enjoy the wind, the smells and the view. That's why this video made me so happy.

Also, if you're going to spark up while driving with your dog, don't be a dick. Either crack a window to vent—contrary to conventional stoner wisdom, your dog does not enjoy hot-boxing nearly as much as you do—or better yet, move over and let Fido drive. You'll get to your destination faster and without the $40 worth of drive-thru.

Are You a Green Gardener?

Care to show off your handiwork to the Internets? If so, we want pics of your best buds, your highest-tech setups, and your bushiest bushes. Send images—960x540 minimum but we prefer 1600x900—of your legal stashes (no High Times ripoffs please) to atarantola at Gizmodo.com and we'll feature the best at the top each night's Stoner Channel. Put "The Stoner Channel" in the subject line while you're at it.

And no, for the last time, we aren't interested in seeing your wicked meth lab setup Jerry. Stop it or we're calling the fuzz.