I went through unbelievable abuse and neglect as a child and it's fu*ked me up so bad mentally. The only thing that kept me from killing myself was every time I'd get close to doing it, I'd convince myself to see the man I loved one more time. I was in love with him for two years before I confessed to him. It turned out he had the same feelings. We've been inseparable since and I can't imagine my life without him. But that doesn't stop what's going on in my head. I have an eating disorder, I self harm, and my depression rules my life. He has helped me through so much and keeps doing it every day. I'm so dependent on him that it scares me, but I don't want to change it.

I can relate to it and please.. seek help. Professional help, it's okay to rely on him, but it won't solve anything.. And i promise you, you will still need him, because everybody needs somebody.. But not in this way.. If it scares you, it also holds you back. You can love him and yourself so much more.. And you won't lose him, you'll only get closer. Because you can't truly love if you don't love yourself, and this sounds like bullshit now, I know.. But just try to seek help, ask him to help you to seek help. It will get better. Take care, you deserve it. It was not your fault.