Sunday, December 9, 2007

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.” -"The Alchemist" Paulo Coelho

So as I continue to plan and learn new things everyday I'm conceptualizing or envisioning what this impending "new face of reality" will be like once the time comes (when I set off). As I move along (at a brisk pace...I put my car up for sale yesterday! I paid all $3,000 in tuition for school this week, I start on Jan. 14th!!!), I'm starting to realize what it's going to take from me to both make this trip a reality and make it through the actual trip, here's what I've come up with:

Passion: I've always struggled with being able to stay focused on one dream (I have so many!) and in turn enabling it to come true. If things go as planned then my passion will remain strong and further be fueled to make this dream a reality.

“I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” - Jimmy Dean

Courage: To be strong, stay strong and not let my fears get the best of me.

"Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she wont suffer the way people do when thay have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back - and at some point everyone looks back - she will hear her heart saying," "What have you done with the miracles of God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God have bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents. So this is you heritage: the certainty that you wasted your life.""Pitiful are the people who must realize this." "Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life's magic moments will have already passed them by."- Paulo Coelho

Endurance: Waking up everyday with the intentions to make my dream come true and knowing that all obstacles are transitory on the road to my rainbow.

"The universe always helps us fight for our dreams, no matter how foolish they may be. Our dreams are our own, and only we can know the effort required to keep them alive."- "By The River Piedra, I Sat Down & Wept" Paulo Coelho

Independence: Remain independent, allow myself only to focus on my life and how I can be a better and more generous person. The only relationship I want is one with myself and God as far as matters of the heart go. I too often let love keep me from pursuing my destiny, recently I've come to the realization that if love causes me to abandon my destiny then it was never true love.

"All deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore." - Herman Melville

Self-Dependency: Though I know I must have some sense of this before I go, I know that along the way this will strengthen and solidify.

"You might find yourself adverse to old ideas of finding someone else to “complete yourself" and instead find a new passionate relationship with life that fills an emptiness that you may have once misidentified." - Sol

Everyday God gives us the sun - and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven't perceived that moment, that it doesn't exist - that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. But that moment exists - a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perform miracles.

Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments - but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.

I feel like right now I am totally surrounded by inspiration, it's in the books I read, the travelouges I come across, the friends surrounding me, the family I love so much, it's in the words, actions, and emotions of those new people I meet or chance upon and even in those I know so well. It's pouring from the heavans above. I feel so blessed and am so thankful for everything in my life and hope that I can learn, be further inspired, and experience new things through travel and use that knowledge, inspiration and experience to help others.

Namaste my friends (I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me).

(Now, off to plan while I conquer the largest mug of hot tea ever made!!! *smile*)

P.S. Oh yeah and a small cheer for Dusty and I, we completed Discovery 2 (somewhat of a membership program about the church covering topics such as worship, community, growth, service, and generosity that lasted 4 weeks). YAY for us! Go Fellowship Bible!!!

11 comments:

BRUJA
said...

That was really deep Kailani! When I start my Fasting, it is a way for me to meditate & ponder> It's So great to be able to free your mind of all the clutter! Thank u for sharing your blogs. Sometimes. believe it or not, Sanchez needs some hope & inspiration. See ya @ work! MUAAAH! =)

The best Bruja I know: Thanks Manders, you rock =)I'm glad you enjoy my blogs, I'm lucky to have people like you in my life propelling me full speed ahead to my dreams! Keep a smile on that beautiful face of yours.Love you bunches.~kk

You are an amazing person. I am so excited to see you change and grow. You have gone through a complete transformation in the few years I've known you. You are stronger, wiser, braver, and more driven now than you ever have been. Not that you weren't before =), it's just so awesome seeing what you have become. I love you lots, and I'm glad we are friends. Keep pushing. Here's a quote that I hope you like as much as me, it's helped me so much.

"Life seems to be about finding a passion, something or someone special that gives you hope and that you believe in, and going forward with all your heart, never looking back and never stopping even when the whole world says you are wrong"

Paul: Aww!!! Yeah I think I've grown a lot over the past few years, which will help me in pursuing my dreams. I feel like I have more passion and courage than ever before and I feel like with the friends I have I can do anything!! =) I'm lucky to have friends like you Paul! I love you too!!! I LOVE that quote by the way. As you can tell I'm obsessed with quoting things, I find a lot of inspiration in other peoples work. Thanks again for being an incredible person.~kk

Oh I love this entry! "Deep Thoughts...With Kailani Killion"...are you too young to remember that SNL bit?

You are blossoming into the woman God created you to be and I am so privileged to be a small part of it. I can't wait to send you off and check my email each day for pictures and news as you travel the world.

CJ: I've atually seen a good bit of the older SNL's so I remember it! Woo Hooo! haha =) Thank you for the compliments, as you can tell I was in one of my philosophical moods, it's crazy how somedays I can sit down and write not feeling like I can write anything at all and end up creating a few pages once I get started. =)I can't wait to send me off either! hahaha =) I love you bunches and I'll see you at work (I don't work Tuesday as I had asked off, but I don't need to be off now so I'll probably come in anyway). Thanks for reading my thoughts and being the greatest friend a girl could ask for.Love,~kk

wandereringray: Thanks so much for checking out my blog!!! I'm happy to have a new visitor and friend! I'm a quote fiend (if you can't tell ;) haha), I'm glad you like it!! Thanks again for coming over and I hope to supply you and everyone else with great stories from faraway lands!!!~kk

Hey Kailani, I was reading your blog you say that you have so many dreams. I want to give you a qoute from one of my fav. movies "keep your mind wide open for all the possabilities" when you keep an open mind you can do anything you dream of. You are a very strong women and I am blessed to know you my prayers will be with you that you do all that you dream of .. as i know you will. love ya john

John: Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and thanks for that quote! (you know my obsession!) haha. I'm about to head over to your blog now (and then hopefully I can pry myself out of this swivel chair and go pick up a shift!) haha. You are an inspiration. Love you!!!~kk

I am contacting you because I am working with the authors of a book about blogs, and I'd like to request permission to use a photograph of yours in this book. Please contact me at matt@wefeelfine.org, and I'd be happy to give you more information about the project. Please paste a link to your blog in the subject field. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.

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About Me

Only at the end of this road will I know for certain what I came here to find, but the fun and personal growth are acquired by walking the path, they are not in the final step or in the final answer. May I be able to access and understand my reality and mold it's impact on me as I go, enabling me to be my own creator.