Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

EVENTS

Tea Partiers Pray for Conversion of George Soros

The Alexandria Lakes Area Tea Party, a Minnesota affiliate of the Tea Party Patriots, is asking its followers to pray for George Soros to convert from atheism (is he even an atheist? I have no idea) to Christianity. Since they can’t figure out how to make PDF files open in a browser, City Pages has the full document. It’s pretty funny stuff.

The Alexandria Lakes Area Tea Party (ALATP), Alexandria, MN, would like to invite you to participate in a world-wide prayer campaign for the conversion of George Soros from atheism to Christianity. Please say a prayer everyday for the conversion of his soul—in fact, perhaps more than once a day. This prayer campaign must be done to the Glory of God–not to glorify the tea party movement.

Yes, don’t just pray once a day, pray more than once a day. Because God might not hear you the first time; he is infinitely old, after all. Or he may be busy helping Tim Tebow win a football game or something. So you have to pray a lot, several times a day, every day, until the old man finally pays attention. They even have suggested prayers for you to recite:

Feel free to pray from your own heart. The following are examples which you could use:
Heavenly Father, we lay before you the name of George Soros. Help his unbelief; bring him to faith and relieve his soul of the burden of his sin; shower him with the blessings of forgiveness and grace. We pray in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.

OR

God, Creator of all, we pray for one of your own people—George Soros. We ask that you put someone in his life to witness to him about your wonderful gifts of Law and Gospel. Change his heart; touch him with the precious Blood of Jesus Christ so he will be healed of his unbelief. In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

OR

Eternal God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, send your Holy Spirit to the heart of George Soros so that he may receive your Word and believe it. May he find pleasure in your Holy Word, forgiveness, redemption, and sanctification. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.

OR

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9). Lord, bring George Soros to living faith in you. Amen.

You should probably rotate these because you just never know which specific language God is going to respond to. He’s kind of a moody SOB, to be honest with you. And his “answers” to prayer are always indistinguishable from not answering prayers.

Comments

“Yes, don’t just pray once a day, pray more than once a day. Because God might not hear you the first time; he is infinitely old, after all. Or he may be busy helping Tim Tebow win a football game or something.”

With so many tortillas and stained sidewalks to appear in, who has time to keep up with social media?

It’s not a matter of him not hearing the first time. It is a test of Will. Do you give a shit enough to devote several prayers a day to convert a guy you will never meet but just want him to stop giving to Teh Libruls? How serious are you, really? If you have time to watch Fox News, you have time to pray during the commercials, at least, or it is not worthy of His effort.

I get it, they are sort of like Google Bombing God. similar to when many website used the same phrase to associate searches for George Bush with failure. So if enough people pray with the same phrase this will exploit a weakness in God’s prayer response.

What really hacks me off about this is the automatic assumption that if he becomes a Christian, he’ll automatically become a Republican. The progressive Christian movement is a real thing, you know. I was one for my entire life before I deconverted. They don’t make as much noise as the evangelicals, but there are plenty of them at your local food bank, occupy protest, and climate change rally.

If God existed and had a sense of humor, he would see to it that Soros converted to become a social activist Quaker or something similar.

I wholeheartedly endorse this plan, with one amendment: I want them to pray even more. I want them to quit heir jobs and devote themselves full-time to this prayer (don’t worry, JHVH will provide!) Quit your jobs; drop out of school; only eat and use restrooms if you lack true faith.

I’m with TGAP Dad: I have always vigorously endorsed prayer. It keeps the crazy Christers on their knees and out of trouble. Let them pray around the clock. It will make the world a better place, but not for the reasons they think.

The man already gives billions to charity and has used his wealth to initiate many noble endeavours for his fellow Hungarians and others. So, why does the Tea Party think it important to convert this particular soul to Christianity? After all, there are lots of atheists out there and one soul is worth pretty much the same as another, isn’t it? Could the Tea Party’s interest have anything to do with the fact that Mr. Soros is freaking rich and all that charity is going directly into good works without the involvement (and cost) of churches and clergymen?

What about their precious “free will?” Wouldn’t their god magically brainwashing Soros into Christianity violate their most sacred excuse for Yahweh’s inability to combat evil? Unless this bunch are Calvinists. Then why are you asking your god to do anything at all since he choose the “elect” at the beginning of time?

“We ask that you put someone in his life to witness to him about your wonderful gifts of Law …”

Yes, he should know about the wonderful law so he will know to save the sheets from his daughter’s wedding bed the night of her marriage so in case the boy’s family claims she is a slut he has them as evidence.

“Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin. But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.’ Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town.” — Deuteronomy 22:17

Why not pray for something like ending hunger or curing cancer? Or maybe curing the million children who die from malaria each year. I guess they consider making Soros a Christian more important than any of those.