It’s all abreast

Having grown up in Canada, where nudists aren’t exactly running rampant through the streets, the female chest is a mystery to even those who have their very own set of these magical fun bags (even though in Ontario, women can legally walk topless in public).

Because of these restrictive coverings we shelter ourselves in, which many refer to as clothing, and because, for the most part, we’re only exposed to our own set, many of us gals are often left wondering: are my breasts normal, or less correctly, do I have a decent rack, or not? That, and the fact that for last few decades, we’ve only really had fake breasted porn stars to compare ourselves with, many of us have been left to worry that we may or may not be adequate enough. What’s that all about? Really though, we shouldn’t have to worry about these things. I mean, anyone who is lucky enough to see our breasts, should just be grateful. Remember that lovers…just be grateful!

For many of you men who are reading this, you’re probably pretty shocked to learn that we women, don’t sit around topless (or pillow fight for that matter). And really, if we did sit around topless, we wouldn’t be looking at each others taters. And unlike many from your species, we’ve been taught that it’s rude to stare, and it’s especially rude to stare at boobies. It’s not that we’re prudish, it’s just that we weren’t raised that way. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve touched my friends milked up boobs because it’s funny and they feel fake. I’ve also given my friends who’ve been enhanced some good once-overs, but I’ve never really had a good glance at regular, non-updated boobs. In fact, I have little to no experience in looking at or touching norm-ies, other than my own.

Well, that was the case until HBO went all titterific. Because of the prominence of tittiage in shows like Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, as well as ShowTime’s Californication, I finally have been exposed to non-fake-breasts of all different sizes and shapes. And for the first time in decades (I started growing these bad boys when I was about 11), I feel great about what I’ve got hidden beneath my blouse. I’m not even ashamed to admit it.

The boobies featured on these shows vary in every way possible. Some are small, some are large, some have tiny nipples, some have larger ones, some have nipples that stick out like a babies bottle, and some have two sized breasts, and some are absolutely a perfect pair of headlights. The fact of the matter is, they are all beautiful. Even with the fact that I can see faults in almost all of them, they are all perfect. I even asked Mr. Opposite about it, and he said he could see the flaws too, but he didn’t care. He loved them all.

So ladies, no need to worry. We’re all doing fine. No breasts, all breasts, whatever. All breasts are wonderful. Thank you HBO and ShowTime for exposing us to so many different sets of mammary glands. Thank you. I finally feel great about my rack.