I Am Completely Serioushttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/
I Am Completely Serious - Dreamwidth StudiosThu, 25 Jun 2015 04:27:52 GMTLiveJournal / Dreamwidth Studiossnarppersonalhttp://v.dreamwidth.org/26613/51721I Am Completely Serioushttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/
100100http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/732598.htmlThu, 25 Jun 2015 04:27:52 GMTAnd I know this doesn't jibe with my previous line of complaint in re AO3http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/732598.html
but why is it that, when I sort the Ouran section by bookmarks, there are <i>three separate Harry Potter AUs at the top???</i><br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=732598" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/732598.htmlt: ouran high school host clubfanficmangaa: hatori biscopublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/723108.htmlSat, 06 Jun 2015 03:58:50 GMThttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/723108.html
I haven’t read Assassination Classroom but I know the premise which is obviously enough to ensure I dream about Condy being the teacher.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=723108" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/723108.htmldreamst: homestuckmangapublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/713774.htmlSun, 17 May 2015 03:34:26 GMThttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/713774.html
<b>Mom</b>: Who are you even trying to kid, you only use the internet to read animes.<br /><br /><b>me at age 16</b>: MANGA<br /><br />SHOUNEN MANGA<br /><br />LEARN THE TERMINOLOGY MOM GOD<br /><br /><b>Mom</b>: Mangos?<br /><br /><b>me at age 16</b>: YOU ARE JUST MESSING WITH ME AT THIS POINT<br /><br /><b>Mom</b>: That's correct.<br /><br />-<br /><br /><b>me now</b>: *speaking to a high school assembly* kids this is what shounen manga will do to you *shows slide of my seven diseased lungs* they were growing out of my back<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=713774" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/713774.htmlmom says stuffmangashounen manga: not even oncepublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/712403.htmlSun, 10 May 2015 02:33:42 GMThttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/712403.html
My other concern for the day is the acronym TRC, which stands, unacceptably, for both "The Raven Cycle" and "Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle."<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=712403" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/712403.htmla: clampa: stiefvater maggiemangabookspublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/697466.htmlSun, 12 Apr 2015 19:07:40 GMTTrying to think of narratives that do something similar to SU's gem fusion.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/697466.html
The closest I can come up with are:<br /><br />* Dragon Ball fusion dance, obviously,<br /><br />* Homestuck sprite-merges, and<br /><br />* that skeevy Voyager episode where the transporter scrambles Tuvok up with Neelix, making a new guy who understandably does not want to be rendered non-existy again.<br /><br />The closest analogue I'm coming up on an emotional/character level is Fukki from Houshin Engi, though. He's not quite a perfect example, plot-wise? He's one of those manga cases where someone's multiple personalities had separate physical bodies and ran with separate social circles, like Piccolo/Kami in Dragon Ball and Kaos/Den in Battle Angel.<br /><br />In most cases like this, once the individuals fuse, they can't freely un-fuse again, and the final person looks and mostly acts like one of the two. The situation is usually basically "Person One Absorbs Person Two's "Powers," And Maybe A Few Useful Character Traits."<br /><br />Fukki's the only case I can think of in which one of the two halves was the main character, and the two people have forgotten that they used to be one person. They spend several volumes arguing with each other and building up a rivalry/rapport. The merged individual still looks exactly like the hero, like in the other cases, but he has a new name and different relationships and priorities.<br /><br />Anyone have other examples?<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=697466" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/697466.htmlmangaa: kishiro yukitoa: fujisaki ryut: steven universea: toriyama akirapublic5http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/691288.htmlSat, 28 Mar 2015 18:12:13 GMThttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/691288.html
You want to make some Heian- or Meiji-era historical figure be a sexy wizard with named secret combat techniques, fine, I will accept this in the spirit in which it is presented.<br /><br />But if it's the Edo era, it's just. I feel like I'm reading a story where Thomas Jefferson and John Adams are sexy wizards. That's too mundane a time period somehow and I cannot take your shounen manga seriously. I'm sorry but I cannot do this.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=691288" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/691288.htmlmangamaybe i just know too much about shogunspublic1http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/673227.htmlThu, 19 Feb 2015 15:17:54 GMTThis only took me like four years to figure out.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/673227.html
Maka Albarn from Soul Eater has pretty much got to be named after Damon Albarn the Gorillaz guy.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=673227" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/673227.htmla: ohkubo atsushimangapublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/630925.htmlFri, 19 Dec 2014 18:57:06 GMThttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/12/19/i-used-to-be-one-of-those-people-who-used.html
I used to be one of those people who used their dubious high-school French skills to do second-gen English manga translations. You can recognize us because sometimes the word "hazard" shows up in weird places.<br /><br /><img alt="YUKIMURA: But what a hazard to meet you here! KYO: Is it really &#39;a hazard&#39;?" src="http://media.tumblr.com/41e4e76c383b1cdf96c5b4b3e4f93fa4/tumblr_inline_ngufcguyMs1qdcvb7.png" /><br /><br />Because come on, we don’t fucking know what “hasard” means! We <i>already</i> had to learn "chance" and "destin," what are we gonna do with a <i>third word.</i> God.<br /><br />Don't even <i>talk</i> to me about "sort."<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=630925" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/12/19/i-used-to-be-one-of-those-people-who-used.htmlmangapublic3http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/629026.htmlThu, 18 Dec 2014 01:58:29 GMThttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/12/17/characters-in-bleach-die-and-go-to-yami.html
Characters in Bleach die and go to Yami no Matsuei, and characters in Yami no Matsuei die and go to Bleach.<br /><br />Characters who die in both consecutively go to Dragon Ball - aka, hell - a realm where there is no true death, and therefore, no hope of escape.<br /><br />#'but where do characters who die in homestuck go preacher' #'they become horses in mercedes lackey books'<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=629026" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/12/17/characters-in-bleach-die-and-go-to-yami.htmlt: dragon ballt: yami no matsueia: kubo titea: toriyama akiraa: matsushita yokot: bleachmangapublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/604072.htmlTue, 01 Apr 2014 16:07:44 GMTBleach chapter 400http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/04/01/bleach-chapter-400.html
WELL, BLEACH, SURELY THIS DEVELOPMENT ADDRESSES ALL MY OBJECTIONS.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a>THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED IN BLEACH:<br /><br />I guess Ichigo was a girl this whole time?<br /><br />I HOPE EVERYONE'S GOOD WITH THAT.<br /><br />And not just some random girl! He was his Mom! Who turned into her son because he died and she lived and she couldn't stand it! And Isshin knew this the whole time!*<br /><br />And the incest angle here is totally not creepy!<br /><br />(This makes the whole plot device where the sister disguises herself as her brother (Torikaebaya Monogatari, Basara, Global Garden, uh, maybe something I'm writing) horrifying <i>in retrospect</i>.)<br /><br />There hasn't been a lot of explanation of this yet, but I'm going to assume - no. It's <i>not safe to assume anything.</i> - I'm going to make a preliminary <i>guess</i> that there's some reason getting hit really hard by Aizen had this effect on Ichigo/Mom. Aizen seems pretty surprised that this is happening, but it occurs to me that he and Mom have the same color hair, so it's possible that they're related.<br /><br />I'm imagining people coming over here and explaining to me that Bleach can't possibly be sexist because the hero is a girl. Pre-emptively, imaginary commenters, I say to thee: the fact that Kubo Tite has lost his mind yet again, does not undo everything that happened for the first 399 chapters of the manga. I mean, you can go back and read them knowing that Ichigo's actually secretly a middle-aged woman with rather severe emotional problems, but if that's never reflected in the art and the text, it doesn't change anything. If Kubo Tite had really wanted us to see a girl beating everybody up in alphabetical order, he would have made Ichigo a <i>daughter</i> who survived her mother's death.<br /><br />Also, every time previously that Ichigo has reverted to his True Form, he's always turned back into spiky-haired guy afterwards. However unusual this iteration as a true form may be, I'm unconvinced that that's going to change.<br /><br />Oh, god, I just read it again and WHAT WAS THAT RANDOM ZOOM-IN ON ISHIDA'S DAD AT THE END WITH THE SORROWFUL ISSHIN EYES. THAT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE IMPLYING WHAT I THINK IT WAS IMPLYING.<br /><br />ICHIGO IS NOT ISHIDA'S MOM.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=604072" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/04/01/bleach-chapter-400.htmlmangamanga: shounena: kubo titepublic3http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/595974.htmlFri, 21 Mar 2014 00:24:16 GMTManga dreams.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/03/20/manga-dreams.html
Dreamed about one of those rich manga families whose financial success depends upon their practice of sacrificing the occasional child to some supernatural horror with which they have made an unholy pact. They had a tentacle monster in a swimming pool. They tricked their obligatory black-sheep yanki boy with the leather jacket and dubious hair into going up to the edge of the water, allowing the monster to grab him.<br /><br />The monster turned out to just want the kid to study the environmental sciences with an emphasis on water quality. When I woke up, he was at a seminar about low-tech methods of sewage filtration used in developing countries, being held in a pleasant coastal town popular among retirees for its hot springs. He felt this situation to be all wrong for his image.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=595974" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/03/20/manga-dreams.htmlmanga tropesmangadreamspublic4http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/595950.htmlThu, 20 Mar 2014 04:13:29 GMTIRIS/not-IRIS just posted a page from Akuma no fucking Eros.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/03/20/irisnot-iris-just-posted-a-page-from-akuma-no-fucking-eros.html
There's no actual "fucking" in the title, that was me expressing incredulity. There is, however, fucking in the manga itself. It's a shoujo manga where the "bad boy" character in the high-school love triangle is literally Satan. I don't remember why Satan's going to high school. I guess the same reason vampires do.<br /><br />It's hilarious, particularly in really stilted scanlations. Satan shows he's secretly a nice guy by adopting a persecuted crow-demon child.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=595950" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/03/20/irisnot-iris-just-posted-a-page-from-akuma-no-fucking-eros.htmlmangat: zdk-12manga: shoujopublic1http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/579664.htmlFri, 31 Jan 2014 23:00:49 GMTI have lost the ability to tolerate certain features of mangahttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/01/31/i-have-lost-the-ability-to-tolerate-certain-features-of-manga.html
at which I once merely rolled my eyes.<br /><br />I cannot handle Chigusa in <i>Silver Diamond</i> anymore. He needs to keep his hands off that teenager.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=579664" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2014/01/31/i-have-lost-the-ability-to-tolerate-certain-features-of-manga.htmlmanga: shoujomangaa: sugiura shihomanga: shounen aipublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/555354.htmlFri, 06 Dec 2013 07:19:14 GMTskdfhaskfhdhttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2013/12/06/skdfhaskfhd.html
When you feel extremely shitty and cannot sleep, the appropriate thing to do is re-read all of Battle Angel Alita. All of it. I just got to the Last Order arc where Kishiro got grumpy and started drawing dicks all over everything.<br /><br />SERIOUS BATTLE ANGEL ALITA SPOILERS: Aliens tried to contact us by sending a giant dickbot to kill us with its giant dick, because their observation of human culture led them to believe that that's pretty much how we roll.<br /><br />Kishiro really doesn't get enough credit for the solidity of his worldbuilding. Never before have I encountered such a chillingly plausible first contact scenario.<br /><br />Fortunately there were a couple SPACE KARATE dudes, who SYMBOLIZE SHOUNEN MANGA, because, that is how shounen manga works, it has some fucking SPACE KARATE in it. One of them became the Bodhisattva of PUNCHING STUFF IN SPACE SO HARD IT EXPLODES, but then the other, whose hair is a bunch of <i>smaller</i> robot dicks, PUNCHED the Bodhisattva SO HARD HE EXPLODED along with his whole temple. Then he PUNCHES the giant dickbot SO HARD IT EXPLODES.<br /><br />Young vandals, this is the sort of craftsmanship to which you should aspire. This is what it looks like when a <i>dedicated professional</i> draws dicks all over everything.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=555354" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/2013/12/06/skdfhaskfhd.htmla: kishiro yukitomanga: shounenmangayukito kishiro hates shounen mangapublic1http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/496766.htmlWed, 08 May 2013 00:52:35 GMTStop caring about OFF, Homestuck fandom. Stop doing that.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/496766.html
The game is definitely a joke. It is trolling you and you are allowing it to do so. Stop liking this game, your opinions are wrong, you should like something I like instead.<br /><br />I know, you can like <i>7 Seeds</i> and <i>Hayate x Blade</i> instead! 7 Seeds is like Homestuck if it went grimdark, and Hayate x Blade is like Ouran High School Host Club but all-lesbian and with swordfights. These things are relevant to your interests.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=496766" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/496766.htmla: hayashiya shizurua: tamura yumit: offvideo gamest: homestuckmangapublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/490127.htmlFri, 19 Apr 2013 03:44:36 GMTIn the tradition of JManga.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/490127.html
Every single purchase page in Square Enix's <a href="http://publications.na.square-enix.com/na/us/top">irredeemably badly-run online manga site</a> includes a prominent link to <a href="http://publications.na.square-enix.com/na/us/static/manga_lovers/index">a stern lecture about how scanlations are destroying "the future of manga"</a>.<br /><br />There are even legal threats in there. "Oh, I see that you are considering giving us money. Well, I hope you're not <i>also</i> considering clicking away to read our titles for free on a better-designed site run by amateurs! Because if so WE'LL SEE YOU IN COURT YOU LITTLE SHITS."<br /><br />The scanlations have been here longer than you have, guys, I really don't think they're the problem. The problem is a combination of technological incompetence on your part and the artistically stagnant and increasingly-irrelevant nature of your product. So, like DC Comics, only with more UST between dudes.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=490127" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/490127.htmllinking to stuff like one doesmangaconsumptionpublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/477551.htmlSun, 24 Mar 2013 04:49:52 GMTJohn wants you to tell him about Homestuck, Aranea.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/477551.html
<blockquote>JOHN: ok. what's this story about?<br /><br />JOHN: ogre sex, or salamander shipping, or something?<br /><br />ARANEA: Nope! Although I would 8e happy to tell you all a8out those topics another time.</blockquote><br />Aranea Serket: A huge idiot who cannot effectively convey her fannish zeal for things in under 2,000 words, thus making everyone else mistrust/hate the things in question.<br /><br />I overidentify with Aranea! How many ineffective rambling rec posts have I even written about <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Game-Vol-1-Judal/dp/1591823692/">Vampire Game</a>?</i> Probably a lot.<br /><br />(Okay, <i>Vampire Game</i> in one sentence: It's an inexplicably non-misogynistic vampire manga, sort of about Bella Swan attempting ineffectually to use Edward Cullen to destroy her enemies, drawn <i>really</i> badly and adapted into English by someone who thought jokes about anal sex and jell-o were just the very best thing.)<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=477551" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/477551.htmlt: homestucka: judalmanga: blmangaa: hussie andrewmanga: shoujopublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/473846.htmlThu, 14 Mar 2013 17:03:54 GMTJManga: A Eulogy Addressed To The Dead, And In Bullet Pointshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/473846.html
<blockquote><a href="http://www.jmanga.com/urgent-message">As of May 30th 2013 at 11:59pm (US Pacific Time) users will no longer be able to view digital manga content on JManga.com. At this time all purchased and free digital manga content will be erased from all JManga Member’s accounts.</a></blockquote><br />You were brought into existence, JManga, by beings who desired to banish the internet again into the maelstrom from which it had formed. As such, your business plan was crafted as a formalized gesture of spite, towards a future in which your creators saw themselves diminishing in stature, becoming mere men, and old. And so they spake, and said,<br /><br /><i>can we go back to the eighties lets go back to the eighties okay.</i><br /><br />(That's what they said.)<br /><br />And then, JManga, they created you.<br /><br />You were an abomination. And your life was not a good one.<br /><br />* You were asking people to pay real-book-type prices for low-resolution scans of poorly-edited manga.<br /><br />* Which were not downloadable. Not even with DRM. They could be accessed only from your servers, using your website and or your proprietary apps.<br /><br />* As such - as any erstwhile user of Yahoo! Music or other such services well knew - we did not <i>buy</i> those low-resolution scans from you. We merely rented them, until came the day upon which you would shrug your shoulders, say "welp, I tried," and shut down your servers.<br /><br />* You didn't actually try.<br /><br />* Like, your website and apps were so bad? That I think they were meant as some kind of deliberate "fuck you."<br /><br />* You didn't even release the mobile apps until last October.<br /><br />* Wait, did the iPad app ever come out? <i>(Edit: It didn't.)</i><br /><br />* It's just kind of hard to believe you were serious about entering this market, is I guess what I'm saying, JManga.<br /><br />* So, I don't really care that you're dead.<br /><br />* Someone else should probably have delivered the eulogy.<br /><br /><i>(<a href="http://snarp.tumblr.com/post/45351803006/jmanga-a-eulogy-addressed-to-the-dead-and-in-bullet">Tumblr Crosspost</a>)</i><br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=473846" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/473846.htmljmanga7jmangaconsumptionmangapublic1http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/450677.htmlSat, 29 Dec 2012 16:03:52 GMTWhat is with JManga and all these terrifying Harlequins?http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/450677.html
Who thought it was a good idea to make <a href="http://www.jmanga.com/list/publisher/harlequin-kk">a shitload of Harlequin manga</a> in the first place? Why does it comprise like 3/4 of the <a href="http://www.jmanga.com/list/genre/josei">josei catalog</a>? Does anyone under the age of sixty even read Harlequins? It just seems like a huge demographic mismatch.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.sarahpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/harlequin_manga.png" border="1" alt="Screenshot of Harlequin manga covers with Facebook &#39;like&#39; boxes on top; one of them, &#39;Keeping Luke&#39;s Secret,&#39; has received a single lonely &#39;like&#39;." /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:smaller; font-style:italic;">(those facebook like boxes)</span><br /><br />Look at these awful titles:<br /><br /><strong>The Italian Playboy's Secret Son</strong><br /><br /><strong>Sale or Return Bride</strong><br /><br /><strong>The Italian's Passionate Revenge</strong> (oh, no! Same Italian?)<br /><br /><strong>The Sheikh's Reluctant Bride</strong><br /><br /><strong>The Sheikh's Contract Bride</strong> (the sheikh is keeping busy)<br /><br /><strong>The Billionaire's Virgin Mistress</strong><br /><br /><strong>Married By Mistake!</strong> (okay, yeah, that sounds like a manga)<br /><br /><strong>Purchased For Revenge</strong> (that, too)<br /><br /><strong>The Forced Bride</strong> (this fucking genre, my god)<br /><br /><strong>Cowboys, Babies, and Shotgun Vows</strong> (well that sounds crazy fucking romantic)<br /><br /><strong>The Italian's Token Wife</strong> (you know it is <i>exactly</i> this sort of behavior that got you guys stuck with Silvio Berlusconi for like nine years)<br /><br /><strong>The Billionaire Boss's Forbidden Mistress</strong> (no one forbids the Billionaire Boss! Mistresses, that is. No one forbids him mistresses.)<br /><br /><strong>Pregnant by the Millionaire</strong> (she should have held out for the billionaire)<br /><br /><strong>Royally Bedded, Regally Wedded</strong> (or maybe whoever this guy is)<br /><br /><strong>The Sheikh's Ransomed Bride</strong> (geez sheikh how many of those do you even need)<br /><br /><strong>The Spanish Duke's Virgin Bride</strong> (new nationality here, so this story must be completely different from every single one of the others)<br /><br /><strong>The Millionaire's Pregnant Mistress</strong> (is this the same as that other millionaire-baby one but retitled? No, it looks like it's different.)<br /><br /><strong>A Date With a Billionaire</strong> (she gets a look at his cell phone while he's in the bathroom and the address book is just "virgin one," "pregnant one," "forbidden one," so she walks out and calls up the cowboy. The cowboy is such a good listener.)<br /><br /><strong>Mistress Bought and Paid For</strong> (goddamn we are purchasing a lot of fucking women in these stories, what the hell is wrong with Harlequin)<br /><br /><strong>To Marry a Stranger</strong> (the stranger has an eyepatch, so yeah this is basically a manga, sure)<br /><br /><strong>Marriage Scandal, Showbiz Baby!</strong> (the scandal is that the baby is a reincarnated vengeful alien ghost, right? Because it's manga. Right?)<br /><br /><strong>Claiming His Pregnant Wife</strong> (this sounds like a tagline given to a murder by an awful local news station)<br /><br /><strong>Public Wife, Private Mistress</strong> (that's generally how it works yeah)<br /><br /><strong>Traded to the Sheikh</strong> (I'll bet it was the Spanish Duke initiating this arrangement, I never trusted that guy)<br /><br /><strong>The Billionaire's Secret Baby</strong> (oh we all know the billionaire sucks at keeping secrets)<br /><br /><strong>A Wife in Time</strong> (I'm unfortunately pretty sure that this isn't about time travel, how are these even manga)<br /><br /><strong>Princess of Convenience</strong> (that doesn't even make sense)<br /><br /><strong>The Stanbury Crown, Royally Wed IV - An Officer and a Princess</strong> (oh god so someone felt there needed to be three other manga about the royalty of someplace called Stanbury getting married over and fucking over? I bet there are white horses with frilly tack involved.)<br /><br /><strong>Wife By Agreement</strong> (well, that's a pleasant first)<br /><br /><strong>The Stanbury Crown, Royally Wed II - The Blacksheep Prince's Bride</strong> (there's supposed to be a space in "black sheep" you terrible prince)<br /><br /><strong>The Stanbury Crown, Royally Wed III - Code Name: Prince</strong> ("dude that is the shittiest codename" "look do you want to have a goddamn frilly horse wedding or not")<br /><br /><strong>To Woo a Wife</strong> (this is really fucking progressive for these things)<br /><br /><strong>The Stanbury Crown, Royally Wed I - The Expectant Princess</strong> ("i am expecting to give birth to a secret fucking agent")<br /><br /><strong>Billionaire Bachelors: Stone</strong> (maybe the billionaire bachelors are like, elementally-themed, and they're a team of chosen warriors who fight evil together? Because it's manga.)<br /><br /><strong>In The Arms of the Sheikh</strong> ("oh baby i have three or four wives already" "that is so hot")<br /><br /><strong>The Celebrity Doctor's Proposal</strong> ("oh baby i want to surgically alter your vulva to be more symmetrical, and also marry you maybe" "no i am going to go see if the sheikh's got any spots open")<br /><br /><strong>Million Dollar Men II - Millionaire Husband</strong> (these guys are the <i>Monthly GFantasy</i> knockoff of the Billionaire Bachelors)<br /><br /><strong>Million Dollar Men III - The Millionaire's Secret Wish</strong> ("man i wish i was a billionaire bachelor, they have that cool elemental thing going on and takahiro sakurai voices one of them in the anime")<br /><br /><strong>Million Dollar Men I - Expecting the Boss's Baby</strong> (there are three dudes on the cover of this one, I'm confident that it's mpreg and not just an establishing shot of this crappy hero team together)<br /><br /><strong>Angus's Lost Lady</strong> (gonna pretend this is about some cows)<br /><br /><strong>Daniel and Daughter</strong> (uh)<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=450677" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/450677.htmlconsumptionjmangamanga: joseimangalinking to stuff like one doespublic4http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/448972.htmlTue, 18 Dec 2012 04:57:24 GMTHow I explained my obsession with Homestuck to Mom.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/448972.html
"It's like manga without the misogyny."<br /><br />(I no longer read new manga without having seen at least three reviews from trusted sources affirming a complete lack of misogyny. Because I work at a criminal defense firm, and my tolerance for sexual predators is pretty thin by the end of the day.)<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=448972" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/448972.htmli hate my interestsa: hussie andrewmangat: homestuckpublic4http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/444557.htmlSat, 24 Nov 2012 21:34:03 GMTI am arbitrarily angry at the whole world.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/444557.html
Except Andrew Hussie, Tamura Yumi, and Juan Santapau. They're fine.<br /><br />Recommend me some really bad manga to read, and assuming my energy levels are reasonable, I will endeavor write rude things about them here.<br /><br />(Bad manga that are available for illegal download, because I cannot spend my Christmukkougatsu shopping money on bad manga.)<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=444557" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/444557.htmlpersonalmangapublic1http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/444268.htmlWed, 21 Nov 2012 18:07:40 GMTI give thanks for the amazing insights that I have while sleep-deprived.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/444268.html
Oh my god, <i>Heart of Thomas</i> is basically one of Karkat's troll romance novels.<br /><br />Thomas &gt;&lt;3 Juli<br />Juli &gt;&lt;3 Eric<br />Eric ? Juli<br />Oscar &lt;&gt; Juli<br /><br />They are all doomed because of their failure to arrange things sensibly for bucket-filling purposes.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=444268" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/444268.htmla: hagio motoa: hussie andrewt: homestuckmangamanga: blpublic0http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/437435.htmlTue, 23 Oct 2012 02:24:19 GMTA Fairytale for the Demon Lord, by Kim Yong-Hwanhttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/437435.html
Today I learned that I will read anything, no matter how careless and incoherent, if you make the dark lord the protagonist. There needs to be like, a twelve-step program for villain addiction.<br /><br />Once upon a time, there was a magical princess destined to save the world, who was kidnapped by the demon lord and cast into an eternal sleep. A knight came and rescued her, only to have her stolen away from him again. To get her back, he was forced to turn himself into the demon lord. GOTO Once upon a time.<br /><br />The manhwa ends without making it clear whether this story actually forms an endless loop. I only kept reading because I wanted to be sure on that point. So, screw you, manhwa. The art is really inconsistent, making it difficult to recognize recurring characters from one appearance to the next, and impossible to tell that it's deliberate that the knight's appearance is becoming more demon lordly. This person did not have the necessary art skills for the plotline he wanted to do.<br /><br />(Why can't I find any books where the wicked queen's the protagonist? Aside from Superior, which doesn't really count.)<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=437435" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/437435.htmla: kim yong-hwanmanhwamangapublic1http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/434116.htmlWed, 03 Oct 2012 21:20:34 GMTManga: Absolute Boyfriend, Accel World, and Vampire Knighthttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/434116.html
<img src="http://www.sarahpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/003-300x282.png" width="300" height="282" style="float:right; margin:10px" /><b><i>Absolute Boyfriend,</i> by Watase Yuu</b><br /><br />Once upon a time, in a faraway land, Watase Yuu became envious of <i>Chobits, Video Girl Ai, Saber Marionette,</i> and the rest of the loser-guy-gets-a-sexbot genre, and decided that she would make her own loser-girl-gets-a-sexbot series. It was exactly like all the others, except by Watase Yuu. The end.<br /><br /><b><i>Accel World,</i> by Kawahara Reki, Aigamo Hiroyuki, and probably the Devil</b><br /><br />In the future, everyone has an internet port installed in their necks at a young age, which allows you to enter a Second Life-like virtual reality. An insecure fat kid named Haruyuki plays virtual reality games to escape from daily bullying. His skill at gaming attracts the attention of the most popular girl in school, who invites him to join a secret game called Brain Burst, which confers special real-world powers on its players.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.sarahpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/iaccel_world_c02_019-300x206.jpg" width="300" height="206" style="float:left; margin:10px" />Though Haruyuki's uselessness and social anxiety are impressive even for a shounen manga hero, he is nonetheless constantly surrounded by blushing big-eyed girls who stare deeply into his eyes and tell him all about his good qualities. Which I guess he demonstrates offpanel, to avoid any risk of making the reader feel outclassed. Even his game avatar is initially a cartoon pig. When in battle, he switches to a skinny robot which is literally faceless, to make it easier for readers to project themselves into the fight scenes.<br /><br />I hope that this manga represents the industry's apex of cynical calculation, because the thought of what lies beyond this peak cannot but terrify. It was, obviously, released in conjunction with a light novel series, an anime, a video game, and at least two other separate manga, in a hideous supernova of corporate evil.<br /><br /><b><i>Vampire Knight,</i> by Hino Matsuri</b><br /><br /><img src="http://www.sarahpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/e_26-300x109.jpg" width="300" height="109" style="float:right; margin:10px" />Vampires, as we all know, desire nothing more than to go to high school. Those bastards absolutely <i>love</i> going to high school. I mean, they never learn anything - they barely even go to class, that would cut into their brooding time - but it affords them the opportunity to fondle the throats of virginal teenagers, which is all that's really important.<br /><br />Yuuki is a human girl who is simultaneously in love both with Zero, a short-tempered tsundere human boy, and Kaname, the gentle but ambiguously ominous vampire boy who once saved her life. It takes only a bare modicum of genre knowledge to realize that any relationship she might form with the Kaname is horribly doomed - especially once Zero turns into a vampire himself to up his exoticism and danger to appropriate levels. Unusually, this does not stop Hino Matsuri from taking Yuuki as far as possible along the wrong track without actually showing her having sex with Kaname. (It runs in <i>Hana to Yume,</i> which I don't think lets you do that.)<br /><br />This is enjoyable angst-ridden shoujo with 200% the FDA's daily recommended intake of unresolved sexual tension. Unlike those other two manga I just discussed, however, it's not as slick a formula thing as <i>Hana to Yume</i> would probably like it to be. Hino cuts off plotlines at odd times, suffers from a problematic inability to make her male characters visually distinct from one another, and forgets to establish characters who will be important until the chapter in which they became important. (At one point I think she actually does this in the notes-from-the-author sidebar.)<br /><br />This won't bother you if you're skimming over the other stuff to get to the scenes between Yuuki, Kaname, and Zero which is probably the sanest thing to do. While their relationships make perfect emotional sense, if introduced to even the slightest whiff of logic this series would disintegrate.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=434116" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/434116.htmla: kawahara rekia: aigamo hiroyukumangamanga: shoujoa: watase yuumanga: shounena: hino matsuria: probably the devilpublic2http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/431219.htmlSat, 08 Sep 2012 03:33:59 GMTManga and book.http://snarp.dreamwidth.org/431219.html
<b><i>The Riddlemaster of Hed, Heir of Sea and Fire,</i> and <i>Harpist in the Wind,</i> by Patricia McKillip</b><br /><br />Roughly my zillionth reread. These really are her harshest books, both in terms of what she puts the heroes through and how much she makes you feel it.<br /><br /><b><i>Uchuu na Bokura!,</i> chapters 1-13, by Hiwatari Saki</b><br /><br />This is by the artist of <i>Please Save My Earth!</i>, and started its run about five years after the last volume of PSME came out. Hiwatari's art improved a lot over the course of PSME, and was even better in <i>Global Garden</i> a couple years after this. So, I don't know what happened here. Some kind of stylistic atavism? Everyone's head is shaped weird.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.sarahpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/3764_12_GAPMY_Cosmo_na_Bokura_vol3_157.jpg"><img src="http://www.sarahpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/3764_12_GAPMY_Cosmo_na_Bokura_vol3_157-189x300.jpg" alt="People with weird-shaped heads." title="People with weird-shaped heads." style="float:right; margin:10px;" /></a>The story is her favorite one: a timid, insecure girl is fought over by men and tormented by her own inability to assert herself. It's a little milder than PSME here, though. A girl named Haruko, whose mother has recently passed away, begins receiving harassing notes at school accusing her of being a witch. Which she is, though she has no obvious magical powers, aside from her ability to talk to her familiar, a cat named Silk, in her dreams each night.<br /><br />Promptly, two boys come to her aid. One is short-tempered but clearly in love with her, and I'm just going to call him New Shion; the other is easygoing and clearly wrong for her, so I'll call him New Jinpachi. Three female classmates - her delicate best friend, a hyperactive ganguro girl, and a mysterious Chinese exchange student - also step up to help her find the bully.<br /><br />There is initially some question as to whether Haruko is just imagining the whole witch thing, and thus an unreliable narrator, who may even be sending the notes to herself. Which is interesting! But then the Chinese girl turns out to be a witch, New Shion starts talking to the cat, and we get scenes where the True Culprit says ominous things. So, for conflict we're left with mean anonymous notes meeting Haruko's human wall of a support network and being brushed aside. And it's pretty obvious who's sending them.<br /><br />I can't find scans past chapter 13, but I feel like I've got a pretty good idea what's going to happen. This is apparently what it looks like when Hiwatari phones it in: there's nothing really objectionable going on, but it's hard to care.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarp&ditemid=431219" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentshttp://snarp.dreamwidth.org/431219.htmlmanga: shoujoa: mckillip patriciaa: hiwatari sakibooks: fantasymangabookspublic1