Thursday, December 8, 2011

Dear Santa

In searching for any evidence that the gods of football exist, and having found none outside of two Manchester teams going out at the group stage of the Champions League, I turn to the next best thing, Santa. In Italy, he is called “Babbo Natale,” and apparently, he made an appearance on the pitch before the Chievo game. Anyway, with Christmas quickly approaching, I thought I would appeal to him for some of my football related wishes.

Dear Santa,

I have been very good this year… well, would you believe reasonably good? Okay, I didn’t burn my house down by lighting fireworks in my bathroom. But I have certainly been a good Milan fan, and watched every match faithfully.

Last year for Christmas, you brought the most amazing gifts: Cassano, van Bommel, Emanuelson, Legrottaglie…. and they in turn brought Milan the best gift of all: The Scudetto. Thank you, Santa, you’re the greatest!

This year, I have some wishes, but the biggest one is to convince Allegri to play Pippo. I know that with his class, he will pay dividends if he can just get some time on the pitch. But if he doesn’t play, he will leave the club and my heart will shatter into a million red and black pieces.

After that, I would love it if you could help Tevez find a club other than Milan. Quickly, if you please, I hear the deal is nearly done. Not that he isn’t a first rate striker, even if he also carries some first rate baggage. For that part, he would fit right into the club. It’s just that we are okay in the striker category, provided everyone stays. I don’t want him to shove players like Robinho or even Cassano, when he returns, to the side. Also, I think we’re pushing the envelope when it comes to misfits, and I don’t want that drama this year.

If Galliani does go shopping, can you please point him toward a solid left back? I am not picky as to who, just someone who can perform consistently. (I hear Criscito is getting mighty cold there in Russia.) I mean, if you want to really work your magic and get us Balzaretti from that Grinchy Zamparini and the supposed PSG deal, I will forever be grateful. But I will take anyone who plays like Zambrotta used to.

We could also really use an attacking midfielder who is young and dynamic. We have Seedorf still, (yes, I know he was at the club when you were just a boy, too,) and his performances have become even more inconsistent than ever. No one else seems wholly suited to fill this role, even if Boateng does a fine job trying.

And also, Santa, for my stocking, a young defensive midfielder that can help out when our beloved captain, Ambrosini, and his trusty sidekick, van Bommel are out with injury or suspension - the next generation to play in front of our stellar defense.

And if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you see to it that we get a favorable draw in the Champions League next week? Even if we don’t win the whole thing, we need to get past the Round of 16 to the Quarterfinals with a roster like we’ve got.

Honestly, Santa, so many other clubs probably need you so much worse this year. And you were so very generous last year. So it’s okay if you don’t bring me anything, but please just make sure my Super Pippo doesn’t leave. I can’t bear to see him in anything besides the red and black. Don’t you remember all of the tears I’ve shed for Pirlo?

We have a great team this year, I think we can win the Scudetto and challenge in the Champions League, which is so much more than most other clubs can hope for.

Thanks again for the amazing gifts last year. You really outdid yourself. I promise I will leave you some Pandoro and milk again this year.

Love,

Elaine

Feel free to put your Christmas wishes in the comments section so Santa can put you on his list, too! And enjoy this timely Christmas video:

This post inspired by the music of “A Very Special Charlie Brown Holiday Collection”