I am the child of a stranger, produced through an anonymous sperm donation at BCM. Despite writing all 600 men from my donor's former medical school yearbooks, receiving 250 responses, and going through 18 DNA tests, I have yet to find my missing family.
While many other countries banned anonymous donations by the late 1980s to early 1990s and instead only use donors willing to release their identity, anonymous egg and sperm donations are still allowed and frequently practiced in the U.S.

About Me

Friday, April 16, 2010

Movie Trailer: "Single Choice Many Lives"

I wanted to share a link to a trailer for an insightful documentary exploring the various sides of donor conception:http://singlechoicemovie.com/ .

The documentary includes interviews with Wendy/Ryan Kramer from the well-known DSR, current and former sperm donors, staff at cryobanks, women who pursued sperm donation to create families, me (along with one BCM donor who went through DNA testing with me), and the filmmaker herself as she learns about the process of donor conception.

The full documentary will be showing in May in NYC. The filmmaker welcomes anyone, but she is also hoping that some donor-conceived people might be able to attend and express their feelings. Also, if you know of any professionals in the field of reproductive technology in or near NYC (i.e. ethicists, etc), please pass this information to them as well.

Here is the press release:Join us for the exciting peak preview of SINGLE CHOICE: MANY LIVES, as part of REEL DIALOGUE, a free, ongoing documentary series presented by The Hunter College Department of Film & Media Studies and the IMA/MFA Program.

The event kicks off with a reception on Monday, May 3, 2010 at 6:30pm followed by screenings beginning at 7pm and a panel discussion with Q&A post-screening. REEL DIALOGUE will take place in the Lang Recital Hall at Hunter College, 695 Park Avenue, 4th Floor, North Building (69th Street between Lexington and Park Avenues, NYC). Filmmaker will be present. Refreshments will be served.

2 comments:

This looks so interesting and its actually right near where I live. Unfortunately I will be traveling for work in Europe - is there another showing? I too am searching for my father (connectitblog.blogspot.com) and used one of your articles in one of my first discussions" Here is an excerpt:

"I just think it's a transferring of loss," Kathleen says today. "The parents are pursuing this, and by going through anonymous donation, they get their dream of parenthood. But then that loss is just transferred to us."

She is exactly right. Artificial Insemination, if not dealt with correctly and thoughtfully is the transference of loss. I know my parent's felt incredibly loss and unhappiness when they found out they could not have children and this loss was somehow alleviated when they participated in artificial insemination. The loss was not resolved, however, but delayed and transferred to their child.

I often read blogs and post by parents of donor offspring that claim the relation is only biological and "unimportant" compared to the bond with the parent that raised you. Yet, if it is unimportant and so inconsequential then why the need for insemination? Why not just adopt? Why do so many women with husbands unable to conceive children opt for donated sperm? The answer is that is important to those couples to have at least some kind of genetic relation to their child. Why then is this desire from the child so easily invalidated?

It's so hard to talk about this without coming across as an ungrateful child. I do love my parents immensely but I don't agree with their actions. It is not the artificial insemination I am upset with, it is the anonymity. How can you create a life with so little knowledge of person that contributes the DNA alive in every single cell in their body.

***If you found this site through searching the internet, you may get stuck on one blog entry. Please click on the title of my blog - Child of a Stranger: Conception through Anonymous Sperm Donation - to see additional writings. At the end, there is a FAQ section addressing the questions most frequently asked to me. If you have suggestions for blog entries, ideas on finding my paternal family or brother with Down Syndrome, or just would like to talk, email me at kathleen.ruby.labounty@gmail.com. Please send media requests here as well.***

Welcome to My Site!

Thanks for stopping by! I hope you find this site useful and interesting. I have tried to provide information about donor conception and my views as a donor-conceived person. I always enjoy hearing from those interested in or affected by the topic. Feel free to comment about my posts or to send me a message.