Friday, March 03, 2006

Sleety Friday Poll

What completely innocuous and perfectly allowable phrase drives you up the wall?

Mine (and no ill will is intended towards the poster who used this two posts down): "Please Advise."

I don't know what it is about it. Maybe it reminds me of every administrative job I've ever had I've been absolutely horrible at: Your reports are three weeks overdue. Please advise. Or maybe it's that I used to work with a woman who unfailingly mis-spelled it: I have not recieved your promised email on functionality. Please advice. Whatever it is, it sets my teeth on edge, and is the number-one guaranteed make-me-curse-the-corporate-workplace phrase.

Anyway. I know I can't be the only irrational one here. What's your least-favorite phrase?

I can't think of any hated phrases offhand (though I might later), but one thing that drives me absolutely up the fucking wall is the mispronunciation of words. I have a completely irrational response to anybody mispronouncing a word in my presence: I am deeply embarrassed for them, and I become instantly afraid that other people listening to the conversation will assume that I share the mispronouncer's ignorance. Once makes me scowl, twice makes me cringe, and a third will provoke a compulsive, terse correction. I feel like an asshole every time I do it, because really, it's not a big deal. But I just can't stand it.

It bothers me enough that I actually avoid attempting to pronounce any word about which I'm uncertain. Among other things, this makes it difficult to learn how to converse in a foreign language.

Because when people say it, they mean I don't believe you're talking sense, and I am not interested in trying to make sense of what you are saying. Which is fucking cruel, man.

Because those who use it seem genuinely oblivious to how inappropriately dismissive the phrase actually is.

Because the people who use it are people who SHOULD be fully aware of how dismissive the phrase is, because, for christ's sake, they're all therapists.

Because people who are that unself-aware but think they are especially and unusually self-aware piss me off more than any other type of people, the hypocrites.

Because not once have I ever encountered anyone who, when confronted with my objections to this term in a perfectly nice tone of voice, is able to say anything BUT some transparently rephrased version of "I hear what you're saying" in response.

Funny how I didn't even have to think about this one. No other phrase makes me swear like that.