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Our Goal

OUR GOAL

To provide a unique environment where folks who have experienced trauma can openly and safely talk. We strive to respect, validate, and learn from each other.

ACHIEVING OUR GOAL

Achieving our goal requires cooperative collaboration amongst members and staff. Members posts remain appropriate and relevant to topics. Terms of Service are clearly posted to help members maintain the dignity of the board. Members of this group are at a stage in their healing to independently regulate their own behavior, as well as keeping themselves safe while on the forums. Staff regularly monitor posts and replies to ensure the board remains a safe and comfortable environment of learning for everyone.

As a friendly and kind community, we validate each other as equally special and significant.

These forums are active and the community not too large or too small - about 400 post per day. There are many forums on different topics. The topics range in subject matter also. You are welcome to interact as you feel comfortable.

This is a safe place for members. We encourage building coping skills, learning from each other and material shared. We discourage sharing explicit memories of past abuse. We feel that processing memories be done with professionals. There are no practicing therapists on these forums. Therefore, topics that call for therapist type responses are discouraged.

Feel free to look around. Realize that, as a guest, your view of the forums is minimal. These forums are otherwise private to the public view and/or search engines.

We have literally hundreds of articles and provide workshops for everyone. Please feel free to email me anytime with questions. I am also providing a tutorial that should help with navigating our site.

Shedding light on dark side of social media

Posted by Kathleen Brady Shea on July 11th, 2016 As the monster known as social media spreads its tentacles, members of law enforcement want to educate the public about its sinister underbelly.Facebook's reported reach of 1.55 billions users in 2015 quadruples the entire U.S. population.Like many drugs, technology can foster addiction and abuse, according to James A. Dill, who spent 30 years in the Pennsylvania Attorney General’s Office. Dill, the speaker at a recent daylong Chester County law-enforcement seminar, cited dozens of examples from national headlines to prove his point.A 26-year-old Illinois resident dubbed the “Twitter Pimp” was arrested in 2012 for using social media to recruit children for sex trafficking.In 2014, a California woman was charged after using spyware products that enabled her to eavesdrop on another person’s conversations.A University of Kansas student was held hostage this year and beaten for six days by a man she met on Tinder, a dating app.A Canadian teen committed suicide in 2012 after being blackmailed into exposing herself on a webcam.A woman in Ohio was arrested in 2016 after she used the live-streaming app Periscope to broadcast a rape her friend was committing, telling police she got caught up in all the “likes” she was receiving.Internet growth continues to explode. Facebook reportedly logged 1.55 billions users in 2015. “That’s four times the population of this country,” Dill noted.Google, which also operates Google+, has increased its reach with YouTube.As those figures continue to rise, the number of companies controlling massive amounts of data continue to shrink, Dill said, explaining that Facebook, Google and Twitter keep swallowing up ancillary services. Twitter bought Periscope, Google purchased YouTube, and Facebook now owns WhatsApp and Instagram, among others.In the process, these giant corporations are collecting mind-boggling amounts of data from their users, Dill said.“You’ll never see a teen getting an ad for Depends on Facebook,” Dill said, stressing the importance of being stingy with personal information and judicious in your acceptance of online “friends.”Dill’s presentation, entitled “The Darker Side of Technology: Human Trafficking, Sexting and Sextortion and Swatting” occurred courtesy of the Chester County STOP Grant Project. Its sponsors included the Chester County Commissioners, the Crime Victims’ Center of Chester County, the Chester County District Attorney’s Office, the Domestic Violence Center of Chester County, and police associations.Although the presentation was given to members of law enforcement, a group that included police officers, prosecutors, probation officers and deputy sheriffs, Dill said members of the public could benefit from knowing about the dangers lurking beneath the Internet’s positive uses.For example, families need to make sure they are not issuing an invitation to crooks by posting vacation photos during their trips. “That’s a burglar’s dream come true,” said Dill. “Wait till you’re home to post them. Otherwise, you’re proclaiming: ‘This house is empty.’”The ability to track locations is becoming easier, he said. With the Internet of Things (IOT), more inanimate objects, such as cars, fitness trackers, medical sensors and appliances, are connecting to the Internet. He said a colleague thought she was sharing her running routes with a friend through a fitness device only to learn that someone had masqueraded as the friend, who didn’t even own a fitness tracker.The uses for Twitter can vary from helping people avoid a traffic jam to ensnaring them in a sex-trafficking ring.Photos can also be problematic, he said. Many smartphones embed geo-data into the photos, which then get uploaded to sites such as Flickr or Picasa, where someone with nefarious motives could use the shot to find others taken by the same person, images that could eventually lead to a residence. To prevent this, Dill advises turning off “location services” on the phone’s camera and removing the exchangeable image file format (EXIF) information on the photo-sharing site.Of the more than 130 million images containing child pornography that the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children examined since 2002, one in four was initially posted by the minors themselves, Dill said.He added that young people’s sexting, derived by combining sex and texting, continues to skyrocket, fueled by peer pressure and failure to recognize the long-term consequences. A 2013 poll of 500 children found that 60 percent had been asked to send a sexual image and 38 percent complied, Dill said.Parents need to educate themselves and their children, who can also be victimized by sextortion, which occurs when they are blackmailed into performing sex acts online. Human trafficking often gets its start with sextortion. In 78 cases reviewed by the Brookings Institute, investigators found 1,397 victims, Dill said, adding that prosecutors estimate the total number of victims may be as high as 6,500.Dill said some teens, who have grown up with technology, have myriad ways to fool parents, such as using dual social network profiles, clearing browser history, and using a proxy server. Parents should familiarize themselves with some of the acronyms that teens use, such as GNOC (get naked on camera), PIR (parent in room) and KPC (keeps parents clueless.)Stressing that social media is not a fad, but rather a fundamental shift in the way people communicate, Dill said it’s important for people to proceed with caution when sharing information and to know what’s out there. He referenced dozens of sites that specialize in everything from connecting sex partners to fostering anonymous global chats to encouraging cyberbullying.Dill acknowledged that Facebook and other social media sites offer a fantastic tool for staying in touch with friends and family, as long as they are used intelligently. He said the fastest-growing demographic on Twitter is the 55- to 64-year-old age bracket while Facebook and Google+ show the highest growth among 45- to 54-year-olds, generations that are struggling to keep up with their children and grandchildren.“Use social media with your eyes open,” he said, adding that he’s learned to fear Facebook more than the National Security Administration.Like most of the people who participated in the seminar, Chester County Deputy Sheriff Janis Pickell said she learned some things she didn’t already know. She said she appreciated Dill’s emphasis on knowing what’s out there so that you can be informed and proactive.“You can never have too much education,” Pickell said. “It’s particularly important for parents to know how to protect their children.”

its important for people of all ages, to know how to protect themselves. Not just parents for children but parents for themselves and also their own friends.As our culture gets more technical younger and younger kids have access to more and more technology. 9 and 10 year olds are completely computer literate and have their own smart phones. Children do homework on the Internet and bring it to school in a flash drive.I'm an old fogy. we used pens or pencils and lined paper and books and we looked things up in encyclopedias, which google has made obsolete.when i received a calculator for my 14th birthday it was confiscated promptly and one of my favorite books was "Danny Dunn and the Homework Machine"--in which Danny and friends used a "small" (required the size of his kitchen) computer to do their homework and were criticized for it.Life has changed. Our Internet is basically a wonderful thing, we can have conversations with people around the world at any time day or night.Unfortunately anything can be corrupted, it is really important to stay safe!!

wishing you well- Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, PetreaKrathyn of We5: we accept all intentions of support--

today a friend who works in a bookstore told me about the man who bought a set of encyclopedias, and his five year old grandson asked what those were. He said this is what people used before computers.when i was five i had never heard the word "computer"---i think i was in sixth grade first time i heard it, and the machine referred to was large enough to take up our classroom.Today, i have a little tiny computer in my phone that fits in my hand or a pocket; the one i am typing on right now is a laptop which is only slightly larger than a foot in width.Computers are getting smaller and their users are getting younger.and like all good things, can be used for evil as well.

wishing you well- Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, PetreaKrathyn of We5: we accept all intentions of support--

It seems that this article is making it clear NOT to give your address to 'internet buddies' - though we have found that, especially 'DID buddies' ignore this commonsense 'rule' even setting up meeting places - despite the constant reminders that just because someone 'says' they have DID, you need to take the same precautions that you would on any... say... dating sites.

I thought it interesting to read some of the scams out there and how they work.

For instance, in the 'olden days', several times, during moving, everything was stolen out of our house - all packed up nice for them to steal. They got the info from Realtors who were selling their lists to movers. They knew right when to come in and grab our stuff.

Now, we put it on the net - "Moving - bought a new house." Nice advertisement to have your house robbed. Yep, telling folks you will be on vacation - not a good idea. Telling the world you are in therapy or going to be in h - another advertisement to be robbed or mistreated by 'bad-guys'. Vacation pictures tell people your social status, pictures of you tell people your age - and, on an on.

Think about who 'might' be on any social media before sharing your information. I mean, if you are trying to 'friend' lots of people that you don't really know, anyone can research this and ask 'why'? Are you alone? Are you hungry for friends?

If you don't understand everything about the internet, time to learn - how do people 'hack' your information, what does 'ssl' mean? What is a 'secures site' - what is not? What are they talking about when they say 'turn off your 'location setting', etc.

For our sites, I stay in contact with godaddy and pay for everything that they advise to keep everything tight and secure on our sites.

Know the laws and what sites are following them - 'privacy policies' and 'terms of service' should be on every site. It is a federal law now that people cannot misrepresent themselves as another person in any way through email. People were writing our members with a similar email as mine - saying that they were me. Someone else created websites and donation sites using our company name - that is jail time now.

'hacking'? -would love to see a good definition here.

'Ad ware' - I have an idea, but still not clearly.

These terms are common, because it does happening, but I think that if you use the computer - or cell phones a lot, everyone needs to be aware of 'how to keep your information and identity safe'.

We use forumotion for this site, because we know that they keep it safe - and, we do follow the regulations to keep members information private. But, we cannot protect people from themselves when they offer up their information to others who manipulate them to trust them.

Any person who 'copies' information and/or design from a site that is protected by copyright has broken the law. This happened here several years ago. That forum was 'taken down' fairly recently, the perpetrator was found guilty of copyright infringement, because, she copied our board and design. Then, she lied to her members - again - and, told them that her board came down, because I hacked it. (I have no clue how to 'hack' anything). That board was called "Multiple Paths to Healing". Yes, there are bad-guys out there. She also stole our website and passwords and url - misrepresenting herself - as I had actually designed that website - the new law will take care of that. Kate Erickson, I believe, is the name she now uses.

I was on another forum many years ago called Coping with Dissociative Identity Disorder (CwDID), a DID board, where exactly what is in this article was happening - and, this was some 10 or 11 years ago - young, new members were being coerced into taping sexual activity (while they were in a 'little state of mind') and either streaming it or mailing the tapes to him (a member there who still trolls survivor groups). Though the owner of the forum was well aware and the man was found guilty of the offense in Australia, he was allowed to return to the forum after he got out of jail. This group of people are still on the internet.

When we created IGDID, we gave the victims of that forum a safe place to come. The owner of that forum fought for years to get back those members - and, continued for many years bad-mouthing our group and I, accessing members with so many lies to move them to their group. You have to ask yourself 'why' anyone who called themselves a 'survivor' would mad-mouth another survivor or group? And, for 10 - 11 years? - those people are either obsessed or personally benefiting somehow from your being a part of their group.

From what I have seen on the net, during the past decade is that what the 'bad-guys' have been doing works so well that they have really stepped up their activities now - feeling protected by their victims - who call them 'friends'. It is truly an epidemic.

You are being told by hundreds of article like this - how to keep yourself safe on the net.

Ask yourself - "Would I go downtown or walk into a bar with a big sign on my back - 'I am looking for friends'? Would you be my friend? I am lonely"

Would you go into a human-trafficking house and ask if you could join them and then, give them your address and phone number?

Would you advertise in the local newspaper that you are looking for others with DID to be your friend, and let them know that you will trust them and all that they tell you?

Would you answer an ad that there will be a 'house-warming party' where there will other DID folks - and, go to the house - believing that this a safe place - and, then go beyond to protect the owner when something bad happens?

If you get an email warning you to stay away from certain people, do you believe it without question - and, become paranoid - without using your own common sense and knowledge that you are able to discern for yourself whom to trust - realizing that people irl don't do such things without their own purpose? I can't count the number of emails I get that 'warn me' about trusting our own members. I consider the source and block those emails. I trust the person that they bad-mouth even more.

When you give out your phone number on the net, and find yourself being called by several people all the time, do you realize that they are doing the exact same as perpetrators do - once know as 'crank-calls' - something we all knew should be reported - told by police to immediately that we should change our phone numbers.

These type articles are not to make people paranoid of the 'net' - but, the opposite. Once you become paranoid, you become 'fear-ridden' - and, prey for 'bad-guys' - not having a clue whom to trust.

No one, these days, seems to want to 'know' that the internet is made up of 'real people' - and, real people are monitoring what is happening on the internet, also. Regardless of how well you think anonymity helps you remain truly anonymous, you can't rely on that. Look at the ads on facebook - they are about you and your likes and interests - they are also local to where you live. Look at what comes up on your google searches - the ads at the top are local to where you live.

The cell phones were once what you could call 'private' - nope cell phones are even worse now.

If you find yourself 'wound up' in what you finally discover is a group that you don't trust, the worst thing that you can do is to remove yourself and information from the internet - a sad reality - once you post something on the net - it is there for life - you can never remove anything from the net. 'Delete' means nothing, and can actually be traced.

When I realized that girls were being used for trafficking from the site I was on, I called the authorities right away. Otherwise, I was no more than an accessory to the crime. Remember that there really is no honor among thieves.

Rule of thumb - enjoy the internet, but 'think' before 'posting' - take the extra step to think realistically what information you would put out to the entire world before writing anything. Understand that being 'paranoid' based on gossip and 'flaming' is never wise, but put out there to keep people in fear and perfect prey for the nearest narcissist to convince them that they are safe with them - 'grooming on the net' - Thinking that you have 'control' or don't care - another huge mistake - when you find a rapist at your door, because you gave your address to someone you don't even know.

I can't help anyone out there - if they don't listen. And, yes - I guess that I have always been an advocate for internet safety. According to research, the bad-guys attack people like me - seems to be the truth - from what I have experienced. I have been on the internet since it came about and have always been safe - I just haven't fallen into the crap that people try to feed me. I know others like me who say that they have never had a problem, but they have also been careful what they share. They are strong and resilient to bs, and able to avoid drama - knowing that getting drawn into drama is the first sign of a big problem.

Be safe and pay attention - don't run away from the net - it is a place where you can be very safe.

i remember the time Kate took the forum and made her own board with it. it was plain pure simple thievery and it was done at the worst possible time, and before that i had no idea she would do something like that. I knew her from another server and actually trusted her. after that i never trusted her again.i remember the CWdid mess as well.I guess I have been part of Ivory Garden a long time and one thing i have learned is that any behaviour people can do, they can also do in the Internet. so: abuse and victimization; thievery and killing; plagiarism and bribery; name your crime and it happens in the real world and it happens on the Net as well.People are people.People can also bring a lot of excellence and positives and many places in the Internet are fundamentally safe.I enjoy the Internet and spend a lot of time on message boards including this one. There are limitations though, and it is always important to keep safe boundaries at all times.

wishing you well- Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, PetreaKrathyn of We5: we accept all intentions of support--

What you wouldn't do in a dark parking lot in the worst part of town, I would not do on the internet - maybe, something to think about.

And, we don' t let our kids go out at night and hang out in dark allies - we need to make rules for the internet also.

I think that us who have been around so long have watched the internet grow - as have the 'bad guys' - and, I admit that the 'bad-guys' know way more than we do. I asked someone at godaddy how these bad-guys manage to do so much damage on the net - he said, 'Hey, they know what they are doing on the net and sit around figuring out how to hurt others - for fun.' hmmm.

I keep very strict internet boundaries. I don't even use my given name on Facebook or anywhere. I never give out my phone number or address. Safety first, always. I also only friend people I actually know.

You have always had great boundaries and allowed yourself to enjoy being on the Internet. You are a fantastic administrator and have served this community well - and, we have worked together all of these years without ever one phone call exchanged. You avoid drama and are able to look at every situation from a solid point of view. Bravo!!!

((((((((KATE)))))))))we like you and you are no way at all like Kate Erickson who stole the board a long time ago.i share my name with a lot of people too, some good and some bad and just have to remember that i am responsible for myself, only.

wishing you well- Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, PetreaKrathyn of We5: we accept all intentions of support--