The No-Panic Guide to Choosing the Perfect Wedding Date

The second you post that “I said yes” Instagram, two things will happen: You’ll be flooded with “congrats” and “mazel tovs,” and then promptly asked, “What’s the date?” You’ve barely had a chance to look your betrothed in the eye or get used to the new piece of jewelry on your finger, but your eager and adoring fans want to know when to clear their schedules.

Choosing the perfect date comes with pressure from all sides. From guest to vendor availabilities, can we really have it all? “You can’t worry about everyone when you’re planning your date,” says Jacin Fitzgerald, a full-service wedding planner and designer. “If your friends and family want to make the effort to be there, they will.”

With that said, here’s what to consider before you etch that date in stone.

Ask AroundYou don’t want to walk down an aisle without your nearest and dearest. Once you’ve narrowed down a couple dates, Fitzgerald suggests reaching out to people who have “supported you and played a role in making each of you who you are,” like parents and grandparents. But be judicious: “If you ask too many people, you’re going to get all kinds of opinions,” Fitzgerald says. “If your best friend is unavailable, definitely consider another date, but also consider the reason he or she may be unavailable. Maybe it’s something that can be changed on their end, too. You’ll never book a date if you try to please everyone.”

Once you’ve decided, quickly send out your save the dates. They’ll set the style tone of the wedding, sure—but they’ll also ensure your guests know about your nuptials well in advance.

Check the Local CalendarA Maui wedding date will have different implications than one held in New York City. Check local holidays and cultural and sporting events in your chosen region. Not only will this impact the availability of your guests, but your preferred vendors and hotel and travel accommodations for out-of-towners, too. Not sure where to start? WeddingWire’s new handy tool provides a simple background check on every day of the year for a range of major cities in the U.S.

Check With the Venue and VendorsIf you belong to the planned-my-wedding-when-I-was-5-years-old camp, you may have a very specific vision of what your wedding should entail. Whether it’s a trendy DJ, a sought-after caterer whose tartare is mind-blowing, or a talented photographer, find out their availabilities and work around that. WeddingWire trend expert Anne Chertoff notes half of all 2017 weddings are set for 25 dates, so the competition is high. Fitzgerald advises setting up an initial meeting or phone call to gauge your compatibility with the vendor. “Discomfort shows in photos,” she says.

The venue will impact your choice most. If you’re holding your ceremony in a church or synagogue, you need to ensure it aligns with the reception venue’s availability.

Consider the SeasonA summer wedding and a winter wedding differ drastically in atmosphere and price. Depending on location, winter weddings tend to be less expensive because of the low demand. Chertoff says summer weddings in the Caribbean, however, tend to be less expensive due to hurricane season and the high heat. If you love the natural, airy vibe of daytime light, be sure to choose a time of year when the sun doesn’t set super early. If you want a cold-weather wedding but you’re worried about severe conditions associated with Northeastern winters, a better alternative may be to hold the wedding in snowy-yet-serene Lake Tahoe, Fitzgerald suggests.

Identify a Sentimental DayIt can be difficult to pick a random day out of thin air, so let meaningful days of the year dictate your choice. Pay homage to your family tree by tying the knot on the day of your parents’ or grandparents’ weddings, or celebrate your bond by choosing the anniversary of the day you first met, first kissed, or got engaged. Be careful about choosing a day that coincides with someone’s birthday—whether it’s that of the groom, bride, a family member, or a good friend, you’ll want to be sure to acknowledge their day with a separate cake and a singing of “Happy Birthday” at the reception.

Don’t RushBe flexible, but don’t sacrifice your priorities just because you want to be legally bound already. Sometimes it’s wise to wait until the following year to ensure you get your preferred date. If prolonging the engagement isn’t an option, take heed: It’s not the day of the year you’ll think about most, but the person you married.