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Thursday, January 20, 2011

1) The person I would always look forward to seeing after school when i was little was my mom, and she was my idol. she used to believe in me, but now she has such low expectations about me, she's crowned to my junkie, alcoholic, whore of a sister.
2) a couple months ago, after my 14th birthday, i got really paranoid, and broke up with the girl i actually loved (2yrs., 11 months) and it just added to the constant depression i dealt with.
3) music is basically my only escape from this all. it feels like the only way i could relate to anything is to listen to music. it also helps me tell whats reality, and whats just a figment of my imagination.
4) my mom and my teachers constantly put me down. my teacher said to me once, "see! im not the only one that thinks you lie a lot. you cant even get your own mom to believe you. how pathetic is that?!" thing is, i never lied to either of them once.
5) im bisexual, but cant admit it. my whole family, except one cousin woould look down on me. my friends would ignore me. and id be an even bigger reject than im already turning into.