Hey! Those aren't the Ninja Turtles!

The game is called Ninja Turtles. The thumbnail is a picture of the Ninja Turtles. My friends, these are not the Ninja Turtles. Dear God.

Some clown must have had five minutes to kill and decided to play a big joke on iOS users. By ripping backgrounds from Contra, effects from Metal Slug, and possibly other game assets, then incorporating the world's sh*ttiest MS Paint art, this punk has duped a number of unsuspecting iThing users into dropping five bucks, thinking they were getting a game about those loveable, pizza-noshing amphibians. Who would do... just... no. Just no.

Worst part? This "game" has been available since August 18 and still hasn't been removed. Really great product evaluation there, Apple.