Frank commentary from an unretired call girl

Calling

Given that most sex workers only stay in the profession a short time, why have you remained in it for so long?

It’s not entirely true that most sex workers only stay in the profession for a short time; I’d say a more accurate statement would be that most only stay in specific sex work jobs for limited consecutive stretches. What I mean is, while there are certainly a large fraction of sex workers who only work for a few years (say, while attending university or after a divorce) and then never go back, there is a much larger fraction who drop in and out of various types of sex work at various times in their lives. A woman might strip while in school, then take a straight job for a while, then do camming to bring in extra cash while married, then switch to escorting after divorce, go to another straight job for a while, then do phone sex on the side because that doesn’t fully pay the bills, etc. Once a woman learns she can capitalize on men’s sex drives, she never forgets that she can dip back into that pool of cash whenever she needs to (and for as long as she needs to).

You are, however, correct in saying that most women don’t stay at it for decades at a time as I do (and I know some ladies who started around the same time as I did in the ’80s, or shortly before or after, and never took as long a hiatus as I did from 1987-97). Even when I was married, I never really stopped; I thought of the period from July 2006 to July 2010 as a long gig for a single client, because the fact that I loved my husband was immaterial to the economics of the situation: a man was supporting me in return for my companionship & sexual favors. The reason I’ve stayed so long is simple: this is my profession. This is what I do, what I know, what I’m good at. I’ve never done any other job for remotely as long as I have this one; the next closest approach was librarian, and it lasted only five years. But it’s a little more than that. Every profession has some members who are merely interested in the money, and others who consider it their calling. Of course they want the money, and except in very rare cases they wouldn’t be doing it if they weren’t getting paid. But such individuals derive gratification not just from the money, but also from an emotional satisfaction deriving from the job itself. For example, there are physicians who take up medicine merely because it’s lucrative, while others are emotionally fed by the knowledge that they are healing the sick. There are lawyers who go into law simply because they can make a lot of money at it, while others (especially criminal defense lawyers) are deeply committed to principles of justice and derive satisfaction from helping people escape being crushed by the gears of the State. And there are sex workers who are attracted to the job simply for its good income and flexibility, while others also feel “paid” by the joy, pleasure and healing we provide to our clients; as you can probably tell, I’m in the latter group. Now, it’s important to note that I’m not making any moral or qualitative judgments here; a physician who’s only in it for the money is not a worse human being than one for whom the satisfaction of healing is also a motivation, and a lawyer whose only motive is profit might still be a better lawyer than one who is driven to fight for right against might. And a whore who is motivated only by income and nothing else might still be the right choice for a particular client. However, it seems to me that people whose motivations extend beyond the purely pecuniary are more motivated to stick with a job (rather than, say, accepting a more highly-paid hospital administrator position); they’re also the ones who are more likely to be found doing pro bono work such as writing law blogs or doing sex work activism, because although those extracurricular activities pay nothing in actual cash (and indeed, may actually cost money), the individual who indulges in them may feel compensated in less direct and material ways.

Not at all.
It is an honest question.
You are fifty years old, right?
Prior to reading your blog and of course seeing your pics, I never would have thought age was a deal breaker.
Of course, you mention frequently about beauty treatments.
So, let me rephrase that : given genetics and disposable income to spend on such treatments, can all sex workers have such a longevity in the business?
Or to put it another way : is aging a deal-breaker?
I don’t know how to phrase it any clearer than that.
I think it’s a fair question.

Actually, let me rephrase that, too:
Had I not seen your pics, I would have said fifty would be over the age to garner attention.
You know what I am asking, and each time I try to express it, I dig a deeper hole.
So how critical is a youthful appearance to continuing as long as need be?
Because I was reading that there really is no age limit.
And I’m not sure I’m buying that, but I really don’t know.
And, yes, I am asking in earnest.

As long as men can see what they’re getting, age is not a hard limit. There are sex workers in their sixties who still do brisk business. Obviously it’s not as easy as it is when under 30, but it’s not a wall, either. The Fokkens sisters (search this blog) didn’t retire until 70.

In every occupation, there are some who find it their calling or métier … so why not sex work? And I’m not surprised it’s that way for you, Maggie. It’s a major reason you were one of the people on whom I modeled the heroine of Bridget’s Calling.

The other advantage of somebody doing a job not primarily for the money is that they do not primarily optimize for financial gain, but for work quality. For an example from my field, a lot of software is so bad, because it was written only to make money and nobody really cared about craftsmanship. The whole idea is alien to me, anything worth doing is worth at least a credible attempt at doing it well in my opinion.

That said, I do realize that in capitalism, most people need some profession that provides an income. That makes the moral aspects at least very murky.

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