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About the Author

Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio. She is the Founding Director of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings thousands of women to Israel each year from 18 different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage (www.jwrp.org). She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington, D.C. area with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik, and is the busy mother of five children, ages 25 to 15.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 15

(15)
Anonymous,
March 18, 2008 12:13 AM

But how?

This video struck a sore spot for me-this is my biggest problem...I'm of the dating age. I have so much trouble not seeing guys through rose colored glasses, and I end up getting attached or I guess infatuated with guys who just aren't for me! I just know that this will help me once I'm married, like you said...but I just find it so hard to do it now. I'm melamed zchus too much, and make excuses for everyone -even the guys I meet and date (and it's getting me into trouble). I wish I could just turn my switch on and off. I guess I need to look at it as more of a decision, like you said. Use my mind and decide to love someone, not become infatuated with them and then think I'm in love...I hope I can. Thanks for your wisdom.

(14)
Maggie,
April 23, 2007 3:34 PM

Exactly what my mother has always told me!

(13)
Sharon,
April 19, 2007 10:11 PM

20+ years of marriage proves it true

After we got married, my husband and i did actually put on those rose-colored glasses. We agreed that BY DEFINITION, the most beautiful/wonderful person of the opposite sex was the spouse. This attitude caused some people to roll their eyes when we were young, but as we get older it's interesting to note that even more people actually openly approve of and understand our loyalty to each other. Especially when we get into tough disagreements, those rose-colored glasses help bring back the warm feelings needed to see storms through.

(12)
Aviva,
April 17, 2007 3:56 PM

Keep up the great work!

Lori,I only discovered your videos a few weeks ago and am now addicted. Your short messages are beautifully delivered to make us fully understand your wise words. Please keep them coming! And may your wisdom shine down on all of us so we can improve our lives!

(11)
Shulamit,
April 17, 2007 9:54 AM

Thank you for the good advice

After starting a bit of an argument with my husband this morning, Lori's advice really hits home and was just what I needed to hear to get back on track. Thanks for the rose-colored reminder!

(10)
Anonymous,
April 17, 2007 9:43 AM

You've made a difference in my life

Lori,

Your messages are very powerful, and sensitively conveyed. Last week's Shabbat presentation is still on my mind (sweater story), and I want you to know your words are very appreciated.

(9)
Anonymous,
April 17, 2007 6:36 AM

Lori's Almost Life Line!

Lori;I am speechless by your talks but yet want to let you know that you are doing an amazing job to reach out to us with your short life lessons. I have known you by Aish since this past December and you audios and vedios have changed my life for good. Thank you! please keep on going. We need it.

(8)
Rachel,
April 16, 2007 10:16 PM

I dont agree fully

For the comment Lori made about falling out of love with ones spouse if ofcourse possible because people change as time goes on. Also, since Judiasm does allow divorce the concept of "falling out of love" must exist, because the two parters' love is not how it used to be or perhaps was never there. In other words, love is much more complicated then that. I have fallen in love before, with my first love. And I believe I will never love anyone again with the purity and self sacrifice that I did with my first love. Yes, it is wise to choose our partners wisely and fall in love with someone who makes sense for you but once you fall in love, you may never fall out of love with that person.

(7)
Annonymous,
April 16, 2007 3:51 PM

Abusive Spouses

Excellent advice generally speaking... but hard to follow if the spouse is abusive. At that point it is wiser to take off the rosy glasses and seek help...

(6)
Anonymous,
April 16, 2007 12:28 AM

Informative, actual, realistic, useful, insightful, excellent

(5)
Linda,
April 15, 2007 8:41 PM

Completely true

...but MY husband IS perfect...I still haven't found any faults...not after 25 years...;)...of course, why spend any time looking for any?

(4)
Anonymous,
April 15, 2007 3:48 PM

Uplifting and inspirational. Thank you.

(3)
r. lipsitt,
April 15, 2007 11:47 AM

yasher kochech

An articulate explanation of the Jewish view of love. Every Jewish teenager should be taught this early on. It's no surprise that,in contrast to the general population, where the divorce rate is over 50%, the divorce rate of Torah-observant Jews is only 2%. Lori: I think you now have the subject for your next book! Kol hakavod. R.

(2)
Zissi,
April 15, 2007 10:20 AM

why the divorce?

If love is only focusing on one's spouse's good points, why is there so much divorce? You make an excellent point-you fall in love, you fall out of love as well.