Corbyn and McDonnell show us the size of their imaginary balls of string.

The Labour media team has launched the Party’s election tag #StringandStubble in a direct hit on the Tories’ #StrongandStable.

Appearing on Channel 4 News, Chancellor-in-Waiting John McDonnell told Jon Snow that very few people had a clue what ‘Strong and Stable’ was all about.

“Perhaps it appeals to people who own a fleet of pedigree racehorses,” he said, “but the vast majority of people want something a bit less rolling hills and open countryside.”

“Labour believes that every man, woman and child has the right to own their own ball of string. It’s a basic human right and a basic commodity which is useful in so many different ways. You can wrap a parcel with it, replace your shoelaces with it, and even, as I shall demonstrate, run a national budget on it. How long is it? I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Diane.”

“What about the ‘stubble’ part of the slogan?” asked Snow. “Doesn’t that paint a picture of vast swathes of prime agricultural land after the wealthy landowners have harvested the riches of the crop?”