The Perfect Wife

If you're here looking for the perfect wife, I've got bad news for ya... I'm the least likely person to show you how it's done.
This show is a selfish excuse to ask a handful of inspiring friends what they think it means to be a GREAT wife, and I can't wait to share our conversations with you here.
About The Host: My name is Jessie Pepper and I host a podcast with my husband called Marriage is Funny (BECAUSE IT IS), and we air our dirty laundry over there because even after 9 years... we're still figuring this whole thing out just like everybody else. Bottom line? We’ve learned that Great LOVE is better than perfect love and when things get tough -- belly laughs and bear hugs make everything better.
Find out more about both shows at theperfectwife.me + meetthepeppers.com!

Decision making.Basing big choices on a scale of priorities and the concept of a fair partnership. These moments allow you to honor the things that are most important to your spouse, and doing so can be a great way to encourage the good of the unit.

Moving and settling and temporary living spaces.Making a joint decision to live somewhere that you love is incredibly unifying. Things like “quality of life” and family time CAN be the new status symbol. We are both big fans of designing your life around however YOU define success, because this creates a ton of joy!

TV Set Love Story.Jen and Aaron met on the set of The Ellen Degeneres Show! Their love thrived in the LA sun, but now the Pinkstons are putting down roots in Austin, Texas.

Being yourself.Acknowledging the challenge of being true to who you are within the new unit you’ve created together. Strength in this area will allow you to serve and love your partner from a much more stable place.

Communicating your preferences.It’s all about delivering them in a way that is efficient and respectful. Both for the sake of getting your way but also because it’s important to be gentle with your partner. Timing of these moments can be used to your advantage, and so can bringing a mediator or even an entire community into your relationship.

Connecting during busy seasons.This gets easier with time. (Praise the Lord.) One great way to get through it is recognizing that it will eventually come to an end, and then knowing you’ll be able to reconnect when the swell has passed. Cooking dinner together can be a great way to transition from individual days to evenings as a family.

Social media struggles.Being in the same room and on social media at the same time can be a tricky thing to manage well. Jen suggests checking in with your partner sporadically, and getting involved in a playful way to avoid seeming naggy or upset.

Avoiding conflict.No matter how hard you try, it’s nearly impossible to find someone who has never hurt their partner’s feelings. Jen convinces me that the Pinkstons come very close to this qualification, but then admits that recently forgetting to compliment Aaron’s organizational skills might have accidentally ruined their streak.

Words of affirmation.Even a simple sentence of encouragement can go a long way, but Jen reminds me of a recent realization I had: it’s not enough to shower your partner with loving words, because we often forget about the times that we criticize them (without meaning to) and that ultimately drains their love-tank.

Making friends in a new city.Recognizing your life-stage and asking yourself, “where couldour peoplebe hanging out?” Flip through your mental rolodex of friends who are coupled up, and try to think of people with partners who might pair well with your own.

According to Jen, “Great Love is when both of us feel like we are being the most true version of ourself but also honoring the most true version of the other person... The place where those two things intersect is when we’re both at our best together.”

I'm inspired by the way she cleverly compares marriage to everyone's favorite salad-topper, and shows how epic commitment can persist even amidst a serious diagnosis.

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in! Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed where ever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review or share this podcast with a wife that you love!

Meaningful surprises.Whether it’s a bad first impression or a day-to-day squeeze in the middle of the kitchen. We’ve both learned that not all initial reactions are accurate, but being open to where life might take you can lead to some incredible gifts.

Honor + respect.Recognizing your partner's priorities and taking care not to tarnish their pride. Being a good student to learn more about what makes them tick and thenactuallytryingnot to push their buttons.

Frustration during a fight.How to keep your temper from getting the best of you while the shit hits the fan. Alternatively, saying “I don’t care” just to end an argument is nearly just as bad.

The fragility of life.Acknowledging that everything on earth is temporary to some extent, but we should not let this control our lives or our love for one another.

“The only real way to honor this life together is to not let the weight of it cripple you during the difficult moments.”

Forsaking date night.This is not as dangerous as it sounds! If it doesn’t feel like a big deal to you or your partner, it’s better to avoid the “should” and do what’s best for you.

Keeping an open mind when it comes to committing to continual love no matter who your partner evolves into as you grow together. (Hear Jessie + Gerard talk more about the “growing together” metaphor right here.)

“You have to really overcome that deep rooted belief that we’re not enough and decide that the other person loves you just the way that you are.”

To Erin, Great Love means taking care of yourselves as a unit, serving each other from a place of gratitude, and offering up the grace that comes from giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Liz Forkin Bohannon of Sseko Designs, and I'm inspired by her keen love of powertools and an impressive commitment to playing fair during a fight.

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in! Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed where ever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review or share this podcast with a wife that you love!

Being in business together:Partnering up in work AND life can be tricky, especially when there are different personality types at play. Liz shares about how to share a vision and accept support from your spouse, all in the same breath.

“Working with your spouse is a cocktail of brilliance and humility.”

Conflict management:What to do when both partners are “escalators” and learning to trust the other person as a way to find freedom from fighting.

Big ideas:How to deal when a strong-willed woman who always bursts into the room with a big idea. Jessie and Liz come to grips with all of the ways that they are like Kramer from Seinfeld, and they recognize that it’s helpful to set up a pattern for approaching these moments with grace.

Humility: What it’s like to make business mistakes in front of your main squeeze. Witnessing each other in the work place certainly takes your relationship to the next level.

Stress therapy: Every modern woman can take care of this with a set of power tools.

“My greatest joy in life is to be Ben’s partner. Even when I mess up, at least I can say I’m all-in and he knows I’m not going anywhere.”

Sidekick Strategy: Being your partner’s biggest fan and letting them know you feel that way regularly. Make sure they know that there is no one else in the world you’d rather stand beside.

Cultivating grace: How to stick it out when Great Love feels hard to find.

“ My job is to help him become more of the man that God created him to be -- And I love being that person for him because I watch the way he approaches our marriage, and I know it goes both ways.”