Over the past couple of years, hordes of Baby Boomers found Facebook; this year, half the people I’ve ever worked with seem to have had the same “Aha!” concerning their personal branding.

After spending twenty or twenty-five years without giving a thought to their personal brands, these folks came to the realization in 2012 that they can’t carry on without one. I think it’s great — anything that promotes self-awareness and intention is a good thing in my book. At the same time, a lot of folks are confused about personal branding.

They write to me and ask me to give them spicier, sexier words for their resumes or their LinkedIn profiles. “But I don’t know you,” I protest, and they reply “But as you can see, I’m a versatile Business Professional with a bottom-line orientation…”

One gentleman called me to talk personal brands not long ago, and I gave him this piece of advice. “The words that describe you come at the end of the process,” I said. “There is a much more interesting piece of work to do first. You could call it exploration or self-discovery or career reinvention.” “I’m not interested in any of that,” said the fellow. “I just need to beef up my LinkedIn profile with some specifics.”

“I will help you,” I said, “if you’ll answer a set of questions I’ve got for you. Are you game?”
“I am game,” he said. “Let’s go.”

ME: So, why are you interested in your brand right now? You’ve lived a perfectly happy life thus far without a personal brand, haven’t you?
HIM: I guess so, but I need to get my LinkedIn profile up to snuff now.
ME: Why is that?
HIM: It’s just time.
ME: What signal did you get that told you it was time?
HIM: Oh, I just want to put more of my professional credentials out there.
ME: I’m curious about that. Is there a reason why this is top of mind right now?
HIM: Well, I think my profile is kind of wan. It’s lacking something.
ME: And why is that a problem?
HIM: People who read my LinkedIn profile won’t know what I’ve accomplished.
ME: And is that bad?
HIM: Well, it’s not the greatest.
ME: Why is it a problem? Who are these people who won’t know what you’ve accomplished?
HIM: Anyone.
ME: And we care about what anyone thinks because…
HIM: I’d like my boss to know more about what I’ve done professionally, for one thing.
ME: Okay, great. Does your boss give you signals that he or she isn’t aware of your background?
HIM: You could say that.
ME: How did you get that feeling?
HIM: I got passed over for a very good assignment that is right up my alley.
ME: Oh no! I am sorry to hear that. That must have been frustrating.
HIM: I was beyond irritated. I still am. It’s really not fair.
ME: But your boss — surely your boss knows what you’ve done professionally?
HIM: You’d hope so, but apparently not.
ME: Is this a new boss?
HIM: Yeah, he’s been here for a year.
ME: He’s been in the organization for a year?
HIM: Yeah.
ME: And in that year, the two of you have never talked about your background?
HIM: No. He hit the ground running. He figured out who his favorites were within a few weeks. I guess I’m kind of on the lower tier.
ME: Oh, that sounds hard to deal with. It must sting.
HIM: Totally, because in my field I have twice as much credibility as the guy who actually got the excellent assignment.
ME: How frustrating!
HIM: Because the guy is the boss’s favorite guy, with half the experience I have in that area.
ME: And what sort of work do you do?
HIM: I’m a scientist.
ME: Is your new boss a scientist, too?
HIM: No, he is an administrator, and he doesn’t know Jack about the work, and that is another frustration.
ME: So we’re talking about a boss who didn’t inquire about your background over the course of a year, and has marginalized you, and has obvious favorites….and we’re upgrading and polishing your LinkedIn profile for him?
HIM: I — I guess I thought that if he saw what I’ve actually done, the papers I’ve written…he’d respect me more.
ME: Because this guy is going to look at your updated LinkedIn profile, and that’s how he’s going to see your brilliance, after he managed you for a year and never asked you about your background, and never looked at your bio or your resume?
HIM: Now that you mention it, I guess my plan is kind of irrational.
ME: That’s okay. You’re feeling emotion, and it doesn’t always synch up with the rational brain. But anyway, why are we talking about your boss? Do you really care what he thinks about you?
HIM: As we’re talking about it, I’m wondering.
ME: If your boss saw your new LinkedIn profile or if he came into your office right now and said “Oh my gosh, I’ve made a terrible mistake, and you get the assignment after all” would it really help? Would you want to work for the guy then?
HIM: I don’t want to work for him. I can’t stand him and I don’t respect him.
ME: Okay. Good observation. So the LinkedIn profile update you’re thinking about – do you want to just forget it?
HIM: I want to work on my LinkedIn profile, and I want to get out of here as fast as I can.
ME: Is this “Aha!” a new realization for you?
HIM: It just hit me like a ton of bricks. Thanks for that.
ME: This is why I ask so many questions. It’s helpful to have someone walk you through the questions, because our rational brain says “Oh, LinkedIn profile out of date, better update it” and we don’t always do the rest of the work unless someone is there to guide or prod us a little bit.
HIM: This is huge. It’s scary, though.
ME: It’s huge! I know it’s a little scary.
HIM: But it’s cool. I think I was avoiding coming to that realization, because of the scary part.
ME: I understand that. Now we have a new question. If we aren’t branding you to impress the toad guy, who are we talking to in your new LinkedIn profile?
HIM: Other employers.
ME: So we need to know what you want to do next professionally….
HIM: An even bigger question.
ME: Exactly. Do you want to think about it and talk again?
HIM: Do you have time for coffee?
ME: I do. But I should send you some exercises in advance of that, to get you thinking.
HIM: Ha! I just called you because I wanted a few words to jazz up my profile.
ME: The words are the last part of the project. The words are easy, at that point.
HIM: How long will it take for me to get the words?
ME: I couldn’t say. This is reinvention time — why rush it?
HIM: Because I hate my job and I want a new one.
ME: Does it matter what job you get, or would you take any old job?
HIM: It matters!
ME: There you go. You’re worth a great job, right?
HIM: I’ve never felt so sure of that.
ME: And this is the function of toad bosses who show up in our paths — to remind us that we deserve more in a boss than what they can give us.
HIM: I knew that guy had a function.