it’s not the med reduction as it started before then and meds don’t affect my voices anyway. i don’t know what it is tbh. they were very infrequent for four months and now bam! omnipresent unless i’m concentrating on writing to you or reading. anyone else’s voices do this?

Yes jayne. I have always thought of myself as similar to you. Sometimes my voices just get in a certain way for no reason and they can stay that way for a very long time. I have found that typically changes in my world of hearing voices are quite rare. Things are usually the same…so when things change I often wonder have they latched on to some old memory…or is there something your subconscious is doing. I have found that there is some relief in going out for a walk whenever I am feeling attacked by the voices. I am like you in that meds have no effect on the nature or frequency of my voices. Hang in there and hopefully things will change soon. Also I am hopeful haldol might help at least dampen your voices.

i don’t think it will andy but i’m willing to try. when they’re infrequent they don’t really bother me so much. even when they’re omnipresent i can deal with it. i’m just pissed off coz i have to get up at 6 and it’s 2.30am and they won’t let me sleep tonight…yet they let me sleep during the day…odd isn’t it. psychological warfare i call it. sleep deprivation is a common tool of warfare. no matter. i’ll rab a few hours after i take max to school. it’s just pissing me off is all as they’ve been so infrequent for the last four months. i guess this is my four or five months of hell starting till the next break in proceedings. do u have any theories as to what ur voices are? where they come from? do ur shrinks say ur delusional? xxx

I used to believe my voice was coming from a real person in america. I have stopped believing this…now I just believe my mind has allowed the creation of the voice…so thats where its from. I still sometimes believe that there is a person out there reading my mind. I sometimes believe that God prevents medicines from working in me…and that he wants me hearing voices.

Also jayne…you have talked about British intelligence plotting against you …I have had the same thing with US intelligence. I believed they had a mind reading project I was part of and also were plotting to capture me.

this is what happened to me. when i was 15 yrs old, i was raped by some one famous, i was then tortured including being burnt with a cigarette to make me forget about it. i found the scar on my vagina when i was 17 and a scar on my face where one of my front teeth went into my bottom lip. i have no memory of this at this time, many variations but nothing concrete. some time after finding the scar i went for a drive in my car and the next thing i knew was waking up in the car half way off a precipice with a blown out tyre. i don’t recall the tyre blowing out or the crash. just waking up in the car. i had to walk home and try and explain it to my boyfriend. i believe that they tried to kill me that night and when that didn’t work i was kidnapped, drugged and hypnotised again to put in a false memory of getting those scars. a couple of years later i went for hypnosis to see where i got the scars from and in that session i came out with something happening at age three but when i questioned my mother, she didn’t remember me cutting myself down there. it was a deep scar and would have needed stitches if it had happened at age three. not something a mother wouldn’t know about. also the scar under my lip fits the tooth i have now, not my milk teeth so i knew soon after that it was a false memory. also one of the screws in a plug on my hairdryer was loosened so that when i plugged it in i plugged myself into the mains. my rother was there at the time but now cannot recall this event. he also has a scar on his ■■■■■. he has no idea where he got it from. i believe that both of us have been drugged and tortured to forget the events surrounding the rape and the healing process of the injuries. brain washing if u will. at age 16 we started getting poltergeist effects around the houses i was in, witnessed by others around me. i believe that they started experimenting with hypnosis and poltergeist effects leading to an out of body experience when i was twenty one. whilst working at a film studios in england a man tried to kill me with a fork lift truck. witnessed again by others. he stared at me as he drove of with a look of pure hatred. it was no accident. he purposely drove the truck straight at me and then drove off when i moved out of the way. i then woke up with love bites on my breasts after my husband had been working away. i was too scared to tell him at first in case he thought i was having an affair but did tell him eventually. he wanted to go to the press and get them to investigate my past but i said no. soon after that i started hearing mel gibson’s voice in my head claiming to b the man that raped me in 1989. it certainly fits his personality but i don’t even know if he was there at the time due to hypnotic torture. i also managed to get myself pregnant without having sex…impossible but the scans didn’t add up date wise. my husband and i thought that the baby was deformed and had it terminated but i now think that it was the product of yet another rape at my home while my husband was at work. i know that it was someone famous or it wouldn’t have been covered up and followed up for all these years. i don’t believe this has anything to do with british intelligence or that i am telepathic. i think i’ve just been made to look like a schizophrenic so that i am not a credible witness in court. they threatened to put in heart attacks and strokes hypnotically and that has been done so that i don’t make it as far as the courts, they also put in false feelings for mel gibson so that i look like a fantasist. thankfully i saw through the ■■■■■■■■ and realised what they had done. now all i have to do is prove it but i need money to do that. i can’t go to the police until i know who was there for sure. then i will tell them everything and see where we go from there. i used to believe in mind reading but i think it’s just another diagnostic criteria they want me to fill tbh. if i turn up in court and say hey i’m telepathic my case will collapse and that’s exactly what they want. so no, i’m not telepathic, i’ve just been programmed to think that i am. sorry for the long story lol i’ve been through all the intelligence ■■■■ about perpetual motion and free energy and i don’t believe in it at all. this is a rape case pure and simple. i don’t believe that any med i try will work with the voices at all as they were programmed hypnotically. but i have to try them to strengthen my case. i also believe that the more money i earn to investigate this the worse my “symptoms” will get so that i look like a complete nutter by the time it goes to court…if it ever gets that far. xxx