I finally got my first chance to go hands-on with Kinect today, and I wasn't allowed to use my hands.

Microsoft was showing off the soccer potion of Kinect Sports at their gameplay event today in Cologne, Germany, and seeing as I spent at least a portion of one whole high school semester playing something close to soccer, I was obviously the most qualified to give it a go.

But first, I had to get calibrated.

At six feet, six inches tall, most people have no problem seeing me. Kinect is not most people. I ended up having to stand pretty far back from the unit before it fully registered my form, though the crowd of folks milling about behind me certainly didn't help.

Once it did register my bulk, things went pretty smoothly. After a few rounds of bowling, which plays a lot like Wii bowling without a Wii remote, a fellow member of the press joined me for a round of co-op football.

It's like a regular soccer game, only without all of that pesky moving. Here's what happens:

Two players alternate controlling the active character. If the ball is in possession by your team, and you are the active kicker, you position your body in the direction you want to kick, and swing your foot. If your teammate is throwing the ball in, you might get a prompt urging you to slam your face forward at the right point in order to hit the ball towards the goalie. If it is your turn, and the enemy team is kicking, you get the opportunity to raise your hands and block.

It's a turn-based game of soccer sans all of that pesky running up and down the field.

The lazy person in me approves.

The more active in me is tied up in a corner with a gag over his mouth, so his opinion doesn't matter.

Either way you look at it, Kinect Sports soccer is a lot of flailing about in front of your television, and that's what Kinect games are all about, isn't it?