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Darwin Award 2014

As you might’ve heard, Darwin Award is named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution. It commemorates those who aspired and succeeded in improving our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of
the human genome by honoring those who
accidentally remove themselves from it…

Warning: Morbid content to follow.

Some of the deserving contenders for the Darwin Award 2014 are:

A Swiss woman experimented with the “sun diet”, assured that exposing herself to sun rays will provide her with all necessary nutrients to sustain life. She died of starvation. Who gave her such an idea remains a mystery.

Jamie Coots, a Kentucky preacher famous for handling snakes during religious services, has died after being bitten by a poisonous snake at his church. He and his followers believe that God calls upon them to handle venomous serpents and to drink other poisons. Bitten, Coots refused medical treatment because he believed that his fate is in God’s hands.

Oscar Aguilar liked taking all sorts of selfies, but one of them accidentally turned deadly when he posed with a gun. When the 21-year-old went to take the “killer selfie”, he accidentally pulled the trigger of the wood-handled pistol, firing off a single round into his forehead.

An Argentinian young woman, Sonia Perez Llanzon, died after she reportedly injected herself with Vaseline in an attempt to give herself a breast augmentation.

A Mexican teenager, Cruz Marcelino Velazquez, 16, volunteered to take ‘a big sip’ of the liquid at the San Ysidro port of entry in San Diego, trying to persuade inspectors that it was only apple juice. It was, in fact, methamphetamine.A 17 year old Egyptian youth fell into the well and drowned while trying to save a chicken. His sister and two brothers rushed to help him and also fell into the well. Two other people tried to rescue them but succumbed to the dame fate. Their bodies were fished out of the well. Luckily, the chicken survived.

Two men in Kenya, Leornad Tonui and Michael Shikuku, were capturing selfies with a wild elephant when they were trampled to death by the irate pachyderm who proceeded to bury the corpses with brush. The two men were actually touching the elephant’s face while taking the photos. Charles Darwin cautions, “When taking sensational selfies, remember the Photoshop option.”

The Kenyan men are the 2014 Darwin Award Nominees “confirmed true by Darwin”.