Tom Cruise is Officially Bizarre and Creepy and Should Probably Not Be Allowed Around Women Anymore

Oh, we didn’t already come to that conclusion even after we heard about the Sofia Vergara debacle? My bad. Guess I should have been paying better attention to all of the NUTS coming out of his mouth in previous years.

In the latest bunch of NUTS, Vanity Fair has a pretty in-depth article detailing Tom Cruise‘s once-alleged and now-true story of potential wife-wrangling, which apparently includes plenty of lady makeovers, PR training, and “Are you famous enough” questions courtesy of Tom and his Scientology crew. From Vanity Fair:

In the October issue, Vanity Fair special correspondent Maureen Orth reports that in 2004 Scientology embarked on a top-secret project headed by Shelly Miscavige, wife of Scientology chief David Miscavige, which involved finding a girlfriend for Tom Cruise. According to several sources, the organization devised an elaborate auditioning process in which actresses who were already Scientology members were called in, told they were auditioning for a new training film, and then asked a series of curious questions including: “What do you think of Tom Cruise?”

Because of course, Tom Cruise is Scientology, after all.

The feature goes on to discuss a young woman by the name of Nazanin Boniadi, a woman who just wasn’t good enough for Tom and his wily ways:

Nazanin Boniadi, an Iranian-born, London-raised actress and Scientologist, was selected and dated Cruise from November 2004 until January 2005. Initially she was told only that she had been selected for a very important mission. In a month-long preparation in October 2004, she was audited every day, a process in which she told a high-ranking Scientology official her innermost secrets and every detail of her sex life. Boniadi allegedly was told to lose her braces, her red highlights, and her boyfriend. According to a knowledgeable source, she was shown confidential auditing files of her boyfriend to expedite a breakup. (Scientology denies any misuse of confidential material.) The source says Boniadi signed a confidentiality agreement and was told that if she “messed up” in any way she would be declared a Suppressive Person (a pariah and enemy of Scientology).

Tough stuff, right? It gets better:

… In November 2004 Boniadi was flown to New York, where she met Cruise. That’s when she first sensed that this was possibly going to be an arranged marriage. For their first date Cruise and Boniadi went to dinner at Nobu with an entourage of Scientology aides, then to the skating rink at Rockefeller Center, which was closed to the public especially for them. The two spent that first night together but, according to several sources, they did not have sex. At the Trump Tower, where Cruise and the entourage had rented an entire floor, Cruise purportedly told Boniadi, “I’ve never felt this way before.”

Of course he hadn’t. I mean, once Boniadi lost the braces (and the boyfriend!), girlfriend was probably quite the catch, huh? After a while of dating, however (keeping in mind that the two dated from November to January … which, by my best estimate, is just two whole months), Boniadi couldn’t take Tom’s over-the-top ways and weird Scientology schtick:

Boniadi was in love with Cruise, but the intensity of his affection, especially his predilection for public displays, overwhelmed her. “I get more love from an extra than I get from you,” the actor reportedly complained. Every day Boniadi spent two to three hours purging herself of “negative thoughts about Tom.” She felt completely shut off; her only source of money was a credit card issued in the name of Cruise’s production company.

During this time, the woman was said to move in with Tom, and shortly after, the affair fizzled out because she just wasn’t compliant enough, nor was she famous enough:

By the third week in January, she was asked to move into Scientology’s Celebrity Centre. Boniadi was told that Cruise “wants someone with her own power—like Nicole.” When she asked why Cruise would not break up with her himself, she was told he was not to be disturbed. A Scientology official allegedly told her, by way of explanation, “Naz, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

Meaning that Tom just wasn’t happy enough with his latest victim. I totally get it. After the relationship died out, Nazanin was punished severely for discussing her brief relationship, and was forced to clean bathroom floors with toothbrushes and acid, among other inhumane things:

Boniadi’s punishment was to scrub toilets with a toothbrush, clean bathroom tiles with acid, and dig ditches in the middle of the night. After that she was sent out to sell Scentology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics

Needless to say, Nazanin and the rest of her family are no longer affiliated with the Church of Scientology, and have pretty much dropped into a hole in the desert off their radar.

She’s probably still on her knees thanking God she had a lucky escape. I just don’t get it with these religious cults though, I would love someone to try MAKE me clean a floor with a toothbrush, they might be feeling a little unable to sit down due to said toothbrush shoved right up their rear end.
Way back in the day, I spent a year in Belgium, when the Moonies were big over there, I heard there was a commune where you could stay and I knocked on their door without knowing anything about them – it was the 70s…I was Irish….and only 17. Yes, they tried to indoctrinate me, all they got were endless questions picking holes in their bible ‘The Divine Principle’, I kind of amused myself with it all, I could see how people who were desperate to be accepted could get drawn into a cult. Me, I just didn’t give a fuck. I think they were secretly thrilled when I decided not to stay and to head back to Ireland, they looked a bit shattered after a few weeks of my head wrecking. Ah, those were the days!

Nicole had to change personalites and hair colors frequently to keep him interested, I guess, and did. I laughed. I don’t know. Tom always looked like a little boy to me.
What would a white guy from Southern Ca or wherever he’s from have in common with someone from Iran?

I’m so sick of Hollywood hype personalities.
why the Boston Marathon, why not People magazine office.
Jesus, God, and I say that with all sincerity. These guys relinquish all forms of sanity and common decency ( Crowe and Penn, gun movies right after Sandy Brook?!!) for a paycheck, and some sad ,sad attention. Would you just get into fucking recovery, for god’s sake and deal with your abandonment issues!

I hope someone’s watching Downey and that 50 million. What do you think a drug addicts going to do with that much cash?

Frankly’, I think violence is caused Hollywood and overpopulation , and government corruption are the causes of violence. Some people can’t differentiate media from reality. We need to sue and boycott these violence perpetuating actors and ,producers. Maybe they’ll finally quit if there is nothing to gain.