FuckFuckFuckFuck. Dude, I swear to god, you’re living my life in your comic strip. How fucked is that? Or am I living my life in your comic? Whatever. Try this: Multi-Board Risk. You can go two board or four board. Just lay them down side by each (you can make weird combinations…) then draw connectors (Top Board South America ties to Bottom Board North America and so on). Four times the armies, ten times more crying. When you’re into hour 76 break out the Folgers crystals, caffeine pills, Red Bull and the Jolt Cola and mix to taste. Seriously fucking hilarious.

Panel 2:
Under the rule of their scientifically enlightened despot, the Technocratic Republic of Okham was well on its way to becoming one of the most advanced civilizations in the land. But the dream of progress quickly turned to a nightmare of war after a simple dispute over another world leader’s “unconscionable eating of the last Mr. Fudgy bar” escalated to full out global conflict. Now, the constant metallic clink of the retrofitted Mr. Toasty war machines, and the terrible call of the crying-on-the inside air force plunge towards Weedtopia, confronting all who would stand in their way.

Once the shining beacon of peace and consumerism in the east, Warnickastania now lies in ruins. Both the largest and shortest-lived empire ever, their charismatic leader was admired for uniting of the whole of Asia. However, fearing this new threat, and also in retaliation to Emperor Warnick’s frustrating affinity for dull techno music, an alliance of Okhamian and Plebian forces descended on Warnickastania like a pair sex-starved Octopi at a manga convention. Now the emperor lives in exile, his vast authorities reduced to pitting radishes in the swamps of Kamchatka, surviving only because his nation is too pathetic to care about and his radishes are worthless since they cause impotence.

Elected through a conjunction of colourful PR campaigning and covert dosing of public water with MDMA, President Tracy – the Visceral, consolidated her power and became the unquestioned ruler of all civilian and military branches of what was once the EU. Governing the new “Plebian Confederacy” with the values eschewed in her previously unknown book “I’m Ok and You’re an Asshat,” President Tracy’s popularity grew to Cult leader status. Notable decrees include the conversion of the Vatican into a rollerderby stadium, sterilizing the French, and the hereto unheard-of purchase of Africa from the Weedtopian Empire for a pinner and half a bag of Funnions, the international legality of which is being disputed by other nations, in particular Okham.

Now isolated on the continent of Australia, the perpetually stoned and nomadic peoples of Weedtopia were not always as such. In the beginning the Weedtopian Empire stretched far across the globe. Wealthy in both land and resources, the future looked bright for Weedtopia. But their fate was changed by a series of ill-conceived political moves by their King. With an increasingly lethargic demeanor in their policies, Weedtopia sold Africa at substantially less than market value, lost many pivotal military campaigns by forgetting to fire back, and foolishly became the target of the Republic of Okham over the infamous Mr. Fudgy bar fiasco. Their sleepless plight lasted many, many, many, many seasons.