Seeing as how our idea of the perfect ensemble would probably include a foam finger, puppy mask, and pasties galore, it should go without saying that we’re not always the most fashion-forward of people. That’s why after watching A$AP Rocky‘s “Fashion Killa” video starring Rihanna (and a cameo from A$AP Ferg who spits a couple bars of “Murda Something” off of Trap Lord), we knew that we’d need to call upon the all-couture-knowing powers of MTV Style to make sure we didn’t miss any of the couture-ier details.

So, we crushed up 100 “September Issue” DVDs, sprinkled the sparkly bits in a circle, stepped inside, and invoked the holy Style spirit — i.e. read their “Fashion Killa” look-by-look breakdown. From Ri’s Supreme jerseys and Raf Simons for Adidas to inter-species Tom Ford zebra and Maison Michel cat ears ensembles, they’ve got you covered. But we did manage to find a couple of additional not exactly fashion-related tips, tricks, dos, and don’ts in the A$AP and Delaware-directed clip that you should probably heed.

1.) CONSPIRACY THEORY: In her spare time, Rihanna breeds zebra-cats (“zebrats”) all “The Island Of Dr. Moreau”-style. LOOK AT THE SIGNS, PEOPLE.

2.) LEAVE MARC JACOBS ALONE!!!! #SorryBoutIt, famous graffiti artist Kidult. This is apparently a reference to his infamous paint-bombing incident at a SoHo Marc Jacobs.

3.) DO SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS: Here’s an idea! Make like Ferg’s buddy below, and wear a sweatband on your head that’s branded with your BFF’s name.

4.) DON’T TRY TO PULL OFF FLOOR-LENGTH ZEBRA DRESSES: You are not Rihanna. I am not Rihanna. We are not Rihanna. Only the almighty Ri could pull off this Tom Ford creation. (Ignore this tip if you are actually Rihanna. Also, HI.)

5.) ALWAYS PROOFREAD YOUR WORK: Why? Oh… no reason! It’s just always a good thing to keep in mind!