Friday, August 24, 2007

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?

What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship!

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure.

Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another.

Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

when we were small bapak always bring home a cake with 2 big candles + 1 small candle on mama's birthday. we were asked to sign '21st birthday' cards every single time. until one day emi asked, "mama beranak emi masa mama umur 11 tahun ek?".

Monday, August 20, 2007

again, this trip, we sat @ a music store with one of them boys, going through what indonesia has to offer. the bloke was into free jazz + blues, + i discovered brilliant musicians from him. the damage? Rp. 690,000 worth of music cds. erk! (che'fara, i haven't forgotten my promise to you. will reply to your mail the soonest.)

i just love the fact that even in the 24 hours mc donolds they had a musician plucking an acoutic guitar; not just any syok sendiri plucking, ada soul ok!

if you don't already know him, meet indra aziz with 'jakarta city blues'

and tika, a fashion accessories designer, who has done back up singing for lauryn hill, with 'you belong to me'

but somehow, it was this song that mummy-o + myself kept singing, again and again ...

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

i think i'm madly in love with what i'm trying to do now. i just wish i had the 'balls' to jump into it earlier, when i had more energy.

nowadays, i go home dead knackered.

tell me, who wakes up at 3 or 4 a.m. still in their work clothes, three mornings in a row? on the first morning, i came home, ate a rambutan, sat on the couch ... the next thing i know it was 3:15 a.m. + i had the biji rambutan in my mouth still. :op

Monday, August 06, 2007

i didn't manage to buy a new attire, we made do with what we have. su cantik volunteered to do my make up for my wedding (when ever that is) if i loose 10 kg, i.e. if i get back to a uk size 6 ... canteek laa su!!!

i didn't know iskandar ibrahim is a rather animated character, i've always thought photographers are a passive and shy lot. his two years serious wedding photography produced a three months old nissan skyline gt-r ... pergh! hemsem siot!!! ... the car ofkos. i need to seriously consider a career change. :op

anyways, i'll upload wedding images once we get them from iskandar or my brother.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

apparently baju maid of honour is too lucah + to make matter worst, there's protocol istana. why didn't they decide that it was lucah when they bought the kain? i'm not sure if i have time to cari a new baju before the wedding because office work is killing me too.

can i leave the problem here + come back to it, after i'm done with work?