Curious, I will stick to my guns about the rudeness of focusing most of your attention on each other instead of on the person you're having sex with. Of course, that's just our opinion, but I'm betting the vast majority of swingers would agree.

If someone just wants us for the purpose of having someone to jump on while entertaining each other, they won't see us again, for sure. We think that if someone is sharing themselves sexually with you, it behooves you to treat them like a PERSON that you are happy to be with, not like an inanimate object or prop in a theater production for you and your wife.

Just our opinion.

Jim

Culpeper VA

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Dammit, Curious, I must have had a senior moment! LOL

Culpeper VA

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Here Here valovers. We have always said that from the beginning. that there is no wrong or right way, only the way that anyone is most comfortable in what they are doing.

Sarasota FL

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There isn't any "right way" or "wrong way" to swing. Different strokes for different folks. Whatever works for you is good.

I've seen too many threads where people stake out opposing viewpoints and then start making assertions about people with the opposite view, as if there is something "wrong" with their way of thinking or their relationship or their maturity level.

Lighten up, everyone. There are no rules about this!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Jim

Culpeper VA

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Thanks, funlovin. Now if only that underhanded, dirty-dealing, intellectual capital-stealing, Walmart-hating nofun would do the same! ROFL

Jim (who really likes nofun but leaves no stone unturned in the search for ways to stick the needle in him)

Culpeper VA

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LOL funlovin! Use "my line" all you want. Nofun4me has no qualms about stealing my "special sauce" line, so why should YOU worry? LOL

Jim

Culpeper VA

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we not only enjoy being able to play with one another while being involved but also encourage the other couple to be as in tune as we are. For those that think this is not a good thing lets throw this scene in its place.the males laying on their backs , the women on top of them .The ladies start to fondle one another,kissing one another while on top of each male.There is nothing wrong with that.Whats wrong with kissing your spouse while she is being satisfied by another while your satisfying another.it adds to the enticment,excitement. There have been times when we have looked at each other and just knew that it woud be so much more fun if we were together at that very moment then to continue on the course we were on.At those times we will switch partners and go to our spouse. After all this time , I still can't believe that there is only oen special woman that can rock my world any time,anyplace,make me do things totally out of character for me and its suzy

Sarasota FL

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It seems to us that if you are going to exchange partners for sex that you focus MOST of your attention on your sex partner of the moment and on giving that person pleasure. If your primary purpose is to focus on your spouse/so's pleasure, then you may as well stay home and attend to that.

There WAS nothing afterward in the "prop in their theater production" episode we described earlier. We would enjoy helping others with some fantasies, but they should be articulated ahead of time so that we have the option to participate or not.

Culpeper VA

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We always interact with each other when we're with others.

Center Valley PA

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I think it's important to use some common sense regarding this issue. It seldom comes up for us, because we are a separate rooms couple most of the time, but not all the time. On the occasions when we have been in the same bed, it seems natural at times to reach over and touch your own spouse in a loving way, if only to let them know you are concerned as much for their fun as your own.

On the other hand, probably the worst time we've ever had in swinging was with a couple when we were in the same bed and while he was on top of Mrs. Valovers and she was on top of me, they spent the entire time looking at each other, holding hands, and "showing off" for each other. We might as well have just been blow up dolls. We have never felt so "used" in all our swinging experience.

It ought to be just fine, when in the same bed, to interact with your own spouse or SO, but MOST of your attention should be focused on the person who is your sex partner at the moment. Otherwise you are just using them, in our opinion. Almost all the people we've played with have been very attentive to us instead of to each other, but that one couple was so into putting on a show for each other that we felt like we were just props in their little theater production. Obviously we never saw them again.

Culpeper VA

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TOPIC: Inter- and Intra-Couple Contacts

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