Begin to wonder what people did before television and internet access.

Realize your imagination has turned all black and gray.

Suddenly recognize that you haven’t used your “spare” room… ever.

Do the math and realize said room is costing you five or six hours of work per month. Take out a piece of paper and compare it to that trip to Japan you’ve been meaning to take. Stare at the math in disbelief. Stuff the paper in your mouth and begin to chew.

Realize that the brief emotional rush that accompanied the purchase of each item in your home is now gone…

…leaving only the object itself in its most basic, uninteresting form. The gorgeous, pastel designer couch has become simply a chair. A beautiful glass buffet is transformed into a mere table. A set of immaculate handmade dishes has aged into nothing but a bunch of plates. Your goose down duvet is actually just a blanket.

*Wince.*

Glance down at your groceries and realize that the Doritos, Lay’s, and Ruffles you purchased are all just colored corn and potatoes.

Take the old sheets you never used from Crate & Barrel. Cover all your stuff with them. Endeavor not to uncover it unless you decide you need to use it. Realize suddenly that you would never use anything at all because you are never actually home.

For a detailed guide to getting rid of everything you don’t need, I highly recommend the KonMari method. Read “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing”, by Marie Kondo. She focuses on changing your mindset from “What can I get rid of?” to asking yourself what “sparks joy”. The book’s author is a little off her rocker and it’s awesome.