Saturday, 27 June 2009

Heyy blogsville,So lately, it seems that these yahoo guys are targeting Nigerians as well. I have been getting e-mails from various "banks" in Nigeria telling me to confirm my account details from "Interswitch". It first started with Gurantee Trust, from the address security@gtbplc.comwith the logo and looked really genuine, but because I do not have an account with them, I just ignored it.This is what it looked like:

But when another one came from Diamond bank who I have an account with, I decided to fill in the details because I thought it was genuine. It had the Diamond bank logo and the Interswitch logo as well and so I thought it made sense because I had just opened my account in Nigeria before I left and I did not want it to get closed down.As I started to fill in the information, it asked me for the password of my ATM card, and thats when I knew it was fake. I decided to follow the "interswitch" link and but it did not lead to a website. I just shoke my head and laughed. This is the e-mail I got:

Attention Card Holder,This is to notify you that our services are being upgraded to a new, better and more secured system . You are now required to CLICK HERE and register all your DEBIT CARDS, X-CHANGE CARDS, and CASH CARDS online IMMEDIATELY so as to enable your card to work on our new servers. Only registered cards will work with the ATM machines.Note that in order to continue using your card for ATM transactions, you MUST register your card(s) online IMMEDIATELY BY CLICK HERE .If you do not register your ATM card(s) immediately, you will no longer be able to use your cards with the ATM machines or for ATM transactions and your card(s) will be cancelled or terminated.Adhere to this instruction on receiving this message and click here immediately to register your card. Our goal is to satisfy all our customers need.InterSwitch Nigeria LimitedImportant dates to remember:Print or download transactions:By March 1, 2009Online access unavailable:March 4-8, 2009Log on to bank:March 9, 2009Sincerely,InterSwitch Customer Service For phone number and email information, please visit the Contact Us section of interswitchng.com.Please note that you are unable to respond directly to this message. If you have any questions about your account or if you need further assistance, please contact InterSwitch Customer Service.Products and services offered by InterSwitch, N.A.InterSwitch, N.A. and its affiliates are not responsible for and do not endorse any information, advice, opinions, and services from third-party news information or service providers. InterSwitch , a division of InterSwitch, N.A. Member FDIC "

Since then, I have gotten this same e-mail from Interswitch bearing the logo of Intercontinental, Zenith and Access banks, but I do not have accounts with any of them.I had been spaming them until I came across this email:

_____________________________________________________________________________ InterSwitch® Security Alert : InterSwitch Offers ATM Cardholders Enhanced Security. _____________________________________________________________________________InterSwitch® ATM Card Services has been receiving complaints from our customers for unauthorised/illegal use of their ATM card and their bank account information. As a result of this, we periodically review InterSwitch® ATM cardholders and temporarily restrict access of those accounts which we think are vulnerable to the unauthorised use.To ensure the confidentiality of your Bank and ATM card information, it is of utmost necessity for all InterSwitch® ATM cardholders to activate their InterSwitch® ATM card enhanced security features. This is one of our varying methods of checking internet and/or local fraud which seems to be on the increase.Click here to Activate Your ATM Card Enhanced SecurityThis message has been sent to you from InterSwitch® ATM Card Services. Failure to confirm your account information may lead to restriction in use and access of your ATM card usage.N.B - Card Number [printed on card issued by bank] and Pin are numeric. Refer to your Debit or Cash Cards. Thank you for using InterSwitch® Debit/ATM Card!_____________________________________________________________________________Affiliated Banks - [ All Banks/Financial Institution in Nigeia ] _____________________________________________________________________________BUT THIS IS ALSO FAKE, because when you click the link, it ALSO asks you for information like your numerical password which you are never supposed to give out. But after about a week, the website is taken off.

I googled it and found that there are a number of articles about it on the web. Here is an article explaining the problem. Gurantee Trust also explains it on thier website.

Apparently, a number of people have been loosing money because thier details have been used even though thier atm card is with them at all times.

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Ok I am starting to think I have a SLEEPING PROBLEM. Now this normally means that people cannot fall asleep. But for me, I cant freaking stop sleeping!!!OK so I slept on my first day at work, and today I fell asleep through my lunch break and when my boss went out to court, I put my head on my desk and slept off again. My freaking phone kept ringing over and over again and I did not wake up until my colleague yelled my name across the hall and then I jumped and picked the phone!Now you would think this is enough for me for the day, but oh noo, when I got on the train I thought I would just rest my head on the window for a bit......ok maybe just rest my eyes for a bit........ok maybe just sleep for 5minutes because the train takes 15mins to get to my stop..........

Next thing I know, I am in Never Never Land and I MISS MY STOP! i only got up because a whole crowd of people hopped in the train and were pushing me over for a seat!! If not for that, I would have ended up in Manchester or something!!!!!

I was like SHIT, where the hell am I?? I look around and lukily, I am just 1 stop away so I get off at the next station and go to the opposite platform, all the while thinking menn I need a doctor or therapist or something!! This is extremely abnormal!!!How did my 5mins sleep turned into a 20mins one??? How did I sleep so deeply so quickly that I did not hear the LOUD lady on the train yelling next stop is Wimbledon, over and over and over again??

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

The story can be found here. Has the credit crunch gotten this bad??? LOL.

Nah apparently he's doing this for research on hawking and street trading in Lagos. I give thumbs up to him for immersing himself fully into his work. I am always impressed with people that can do this. I am currently writing my dissertation on Child Labour, and wish I could talk directly to the kids affected, the parents, governments and NGO's but unfortunately, I am only using secondary research!

I bet he's crippling bussiness for others around him though cause he will be getting loads of attention! LOL

Monday, 22 June 2009

This document should definately be signed before each and every booty call to avoid any sentimental attachment and unnecessary calling. Maybe if ladies signed this before hand they wouldn't be sitting by the phone waiting for a guy a call after a booty call. And dont you dar pick up the phone and try and be on some independent/21st century woman sturvs because if he doesnt call you......................HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!!

The same applies for guys, if she doesnt pick your call after a booty call, shes just not that into you (or you were terrible lol)!

Heyy blogsville, So I had my first day at work today. First of all, I got up really early and got there like 30 mins early. I tend to do that when I am nervous about something. Can I use this opportunity to applaud the Brirish transportation system. A train for 8.04 really does leave at 8.04. I am getting so used to this meticulous system that Nigeria is going to be a bit of a shock. I could definately get used to the buzz of rush hour travel. Its kinda exciting although everyone on the trians always look so depressed. I wish I could tell them at least you all have a job which is a blessing in these economic times!

Work started off a bit scary because the lady I was supposed to be working for is going on maternity leave and I was just asked to sit around while they tried to decide what to do with me. Its really annoying when people are talking about what to do with you like you are an unwanted refugee when you can hear everything and you are really nervous to begin with. Not Fun!I was eventually placed to assist one of the criminal lawyers which was a bit bumming because I really wanted to work with family law. But it was not that bad. My boss put me straight to work and I was so tired by my lunchtime that I SLEPT right through my break. After a red bull and several cups of coffe, I was still soo drowsey. It was so bad that I was on the phone to the Magistrates Court, and they put me on hold for ages. Next thing your girl FALLS ASLEEP ON THE PHONE! As in I dozzzzed offff! Then I start to hear a voice on the phone saying hello, hello, hello, and I just jump out of my seat. The lady on the phone starts speaking really fast about bail and custody hearing bla bla bla and I did not get a single thing cause I was just gaining consiousness. To cut the long story short, I had to call the court again and get everything down cause I was totally out of it.But chai, your girl can sleep oh. I slept on the train back, almost missed my stop. I slept while waiting for the next connecting train, and I slept on that train too. Now that I am home, I am wide awake blogging and I will go and doze off again. If I get fired for anything, it will be for sleeping in a meeting with a client or something because I am the sort of person that when sleep comes knocking, I must answer ohh! Thank God I am not a brain surgeon or something because your girl will sleep with a patients head wide open!!!Apart from that, it was ok. Looking forward to more exiting work tomorrow. I am going to sleep now---God help me LOL :-))

Heyy blogsville,So Miss B is moving to London to start a summer placement at a law firm. Tomorrow is my first day and I am really nervous. I have never worked a full 9-5 job before especially one that I have actual responsiblity but at the same time I am really looking forward to it. I will still try to keep updating every other day, and maybe sneak a post in during my luch-break or something.

Saturday, 20 June 2009

So Mr woman-beater in the story below has apologized to me, not to my friend yet cause she is obviously still too disturbed. So the question is that where do you draw the line between a mistake/one time incidence and something that is totally unacceptable and cannot be forgiven?? He seemed genuinely sorry and like everyone these days was quick to blame it on the alcohol. The question is can someone who does such a vile act be given a chance to redeem themself??

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Ok this post might come off a bit pissy and as a generalisation, but its cause I AM SOOO MAD RIGHT NOW! Am shaking just writing this....

Ok so me and my friends went out for a party that was actually really fun, the music was good, loads of our friends were there, and the alcohol was flowing so everyone was kinda tipsy lol! As we were about to leave, we realized that we had to say bye to our friend, and as we were leaving this guy wants to take a picture of my friends. He is one of those paparrazzi people that takes pictures of people in parties and puts them on facebook. They say no, and try to walk away and he pulls them back and she pushes him away.

And then he proceeds to SLAP HER!

As if this is not bad enough, he pulls her back and SLAPS HER AGAIN AND TRIES TO KICK HER!Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME??

In the middle of the freaking club, it is the most SHOCKING AND DISGUSTING ACT I HAVE EVER WITNESSED IN MY LIFE! I have never witnessed my father raise my hand to my mother, and have never seen any sort of domestic violence, so it was too much for me to take in. My friend was shaking and totally worked up, because like me, this kind of thing is a total shock and came out of nowhere. As I speak to you her face is swollen and is being iced up and her tooth is shaking, showing you the gravity of the force he used to hit her.

It is disgusting, pathetic and cowardly that a guy can feel it is justifiable to hit a girl IN PUBLIC over an issue so trivial. I mean she has the right to decide weather or not she wants her picture taken. But even if it was not such an insignificant issue, as far as I am concerned, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that a girl can do or say that warrants a guy to hit a girl in public. FULL STOP!

I am so sick of Nigerian guys at this point I dont know how I will relocate back to Nigeria and not bust a cap in someones head! I mean what is the point of us being in jand and getting a British education when BLACK guys still have the same barbaric mentality. A guy that can slap a girl for this can beat his wife for burning the soup. I am just so tired tired tired of the attitude of my generation because it seems we are just gaining all the bad parts of westernisation and none of the good bits. My generation is greedier, lazier and more uninspired than ever. And this goes for both the guys and girls.

But the worst bit of this fiasco is the fact that the guys just STOOD AND WATCHED as my friend was being violated and humiliated in public. I was the one that had to come in the middle and push the guy away and drag my friend away. I am freaking 5"3 and weigh 57kg, and had to push away this 6ft massive drunk Nigerian guy, while everyone watched. When these stupid guys are supposed to step up and prove that they are men, they just sit by and choose not to get invloved. Is it ok for you to sit and watch a guy attack a girl while you claim it does not involve you?? The answer is and will always be HELL NO!After I came home and blasted all the guys that were there, they all say the same thing: I would only get invloved if it was someone I know!

Why do we not stand up for anything anymore???

I am so tired of our passive attitude to all issues that matter, we just sit down as we are all violated, robbed, and molested on a daily! The time when Nigerian guys are supposed to use their strength for good, they just stand by and watch. God has made men physically stronger than women, and they should use it only when necessary.Now dont get me wrong, I dont expect every guy to try and break up fights in Nigerian parties, cause they are not superman and that would be a full time job(meanwhile why is there always a fight at any black party?? dont we really belong in the jungle?).But this was not a fight, it was a GUY BEATING UP A HELPLESS GIRL! I mean are we for real??

I am just tired, tired, tired, tired.

Like Chixtia's blog says--"Until we, as Nigerians get up and say enough is enough. Until we realize that we deserve much, much, much more than we are getting, until we get to the point of no return, when we are prepared to die for what we believe in- indeed until we believe in anything other than in our personal comfort- we will continue to be led by our noses"

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

I know I have been M.I.A for a minute but its a hot summer, am not in school and my friend is visiting from the States so I have been having too much fun to sit down in one place. Have y'all missed me?? I have plenty juicy gist coming up for you so the wait will be well worth it!!!! :-))

So I thought I would recommend a book that I have been reading on the long train rides across the country in search of fun!!LOOL

Lately I only been reading Nigerian books because there alot of really great writers covering different genres. Naijablog and Cassava republic have made it easy for me to know the latest titles, and thanks to amazon, I can get them all delivered to me!

This is the story of "a young boy Kingsley who iseager to help his family and change the world. But when his once-proud family descends into poverty after his father falls ill, he is forced to turn to his mother's infamous brother, Cash Daddy, who runs a successful empire of email scams relieving gullible Westerners of their hard earned money. Unconditional family support is the Nigerian way, but the hand Cash Daddy extends in charity has consequences. As Kingsley is drawn into Cash Daddy's outlandish world, he soon learns that nothing in Nigeria comes for free."

Firstly, the cover is very attractive, and the name is unique enough so you never forget it. It is one of those chilled out books you read over the summer and is quite funny. It is also very realistic of everyday Nigeria and uses simple and uncomplicated diction.

My favourite line in it is "In Nigeria, education may be the language of success, but it is money that does the talking".

The character of Cash Daddy is hilarious and well explored and everyone definately knows one or two Cash Daddies in Nigeria. The book is quite funny in general, and explores the justifications that the 419 scamers use to console themselves, for example Cash Daddy says that White people have been taking from Africa, and thus it is O.K for us to take from them, he also says that for them to be able to send over this much money without blinking an eye, it means there is plenty more where it came from. This side of the 419 story have never been explored before, and illustrates the greed that alot of the "mugus" possess in order for them to fall over and over again.

But it definately doesnt grip you page by page, it took me over 2weeks to finish, mostly because it goes on and on about the internet scams which is not really necessary to get the essence of the gist. You also get a sense that there is a little too much sympathy to the 419er, almost like making excuses for thier actions, which I do not agree with.

Regardless, it is one of the few Nigerian books set in the present about everyday Nigeria dealing with our everyday issues. She is definately a promising writier and I look forward to reading more of her work.

It is available on Amazon for just £6, so cop yours and let me know what you think!

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

I am excited to be doing my first proper fashion interview(hence the purple font!!). I met these ladies on a trip to Birm and I thought wow, thier clothes are........different! Its strange but I am not that adventorous when it comes to clothing and fashion, considering how daring I am with other stuff, so I always admire people, both regular and celebrities, that dare to stand out from the crowd. This is where VINTAGE clothing and the virgos come in. Virgos Lounge is made up of three ladies Fioye, Nike and Oye and they specialise in sourcing vintage clothing, altering them and selling them for mere mortals like us. So I got together with Oye and asked her some essential questions-----

1)For those that dont know, what exactly is vintage clothing, i.e how can you tell what falls into that category?Vintage clothing includes clothes from different eras, this usually ranges from the 20's to the 90's. They are not necessarily dated because they are from a different era because many clothes that are on trend now are inspred by vintage clothing.2)How did you ladies get into it and why?We got into selling vintage clothes simply as a result of our love for fashion particularly vintage. we decided to start because its something we enjoy and also because we find that many people like the idea of vintage clothes but detest the process involved so we make it easier for them.

3)What advice can you give to people like me that feel vintage is for the adventurous and dont feel we can pull it off?Vintage is definitely not just for the adventurous. Some vintage dresses in particular are similar to the styles of many dresses on the high street but what makes them better is their unique nature and the likelihood that no one else would wear the same dress as you when you go out. However, you would often come across some adventurous pieces but some people like adventurous. It's safe to say that there is something for everyone

My faveourite piece

4)Another problem is that it seems such an effort to find them, any tips on how to source great pieces, any good stores or markets?It's definitely tedious finding vintage pieces but thats where virgos lounge comes in, we do the sourcing and make it easier for others to buy vintage. A good place to buy vintage pieces is always camden market.

5)Who are your celebrity inspirations for vintage clothing?Princess Diana is the ultimate vintage inspiration this is an obvious choice as she was an icon in the 80's and 90's. Celebrities at the moment that inspire usin terms of vintage fashion include Chloe Sevingy, Pixie Geldof, Alexa Chung and the Olsen twins

6)What are your ultimate goals for virgo's lounge, and where do you see it in 10 years?Our goals include to open concessions all over the world and also to open a huge store in Lagos selling vintage clothes amongst many other things. In 10 years virgos lounge would be a household name and the best in vintage clothing.

7)What about vintage accessories such as jewellry and shoes?We would definitely be adding vintage accessories (bags, belts and jewellery) to our brand in the nearer future. However, vintage shoes are more difficult to source becuase they usually come in smaller sizes but its something we are also very interested in.

Their one of a kind pieces from this collection can be purchased at Virgos Lounge . Here are my faves---

Oye was recently featured on Bella (my role model) for her vintage style. I am proud of these ladies for being bold and different, like true fashionistas, and I will definately be rocking some of these vintage pieces myself!!!

So the BNP got 17% of the votes, based on proportionality alone. I feel sad for Britain today and I regret not going out to vote. Here is a video of a man who is an active BNP member that caused controversy a couple of years back because he said that it can be scientifically proven that white people are smarter than black people.

I remember I was taking a human rights module and we had to decide if he has a right to free speech which is a right that is highly protected here, or if this right should be curtailed when it incites hate. The conclusion was that freedom of speech in England is too great a right to curtail even at the expense of people's feelings as long as it doesnt actually harm people(John Stuart Mill). I agree with this, but all the same I think its a huge step back for British Politics that I have come to see as the benchmark for Democracy. Oh well, At least we have Obama right?

Monday, 8 June 2009

Heyy blogsville,I had an amazing weekend not only because I had loads of fun but because I accomplished one of the things on my list to do before I die and so feel very accomplished. I took part in the Race for life to raise money for Cancer Research, especially for Breast cancer and the paticular types that affect women. Apparently it is now the most common type of cancer in the U.K and around 125 women a day are diagnosed with breast cancer, I know its shocking. The survival rates here are are amazing though! Although it does not affect black women as much, a neighbour of mine in Kaduna died a couple of months ago after a long battle with cancer. I am passionate about charity work and I have definately done alot in my years here.

However, I am determined that my next charity activity will be towards something that affects black people more, such as Sickle Cell Anemia, Malaria and AIDS because these are still horribly underfunded compared to the amount of sufferes. At the end of the day we as Africans have to be the ones to raise money ourselves, and I am determined to set up some sort of charity organisation in Nigeria to help people in need!Now, I had been bugging people for sponsorship for a while now and every1 did so, only on the condition that I would complete the 5km race, AND I DID(whos laffin now suckers!!! lol). I managed to raise £370 for Cancer research and so a big thank you to all those that sponsored me!!The actual day started out rubbish because it was soo rainy and gloomy plus 10am is really early for me to wake up on a sunday morning!! But we were determined and walked in the rain, got in a taxi but were stuck in traffic for a good 15mins. The cab going cost me about £15!!! But this was because they were LOADS of people trying to get in. GOD OF MERCY, you have to admire the committmentt of British people to charity work and good causes. They are definately one of the most giving people, especially because alot of the people have been affected by cancer in one way or the other! The target was £500,000 and I am sure they raised almost double that. There were at least 700 people there, people came with thier kids, dogs, grandparents, funny costumes and it was a general fun day out, especially as it became sunnier.

My friend and I had a great time as well, we jogged at the beggining, walked most of the way and then dramatically jogged in slow motion towards the end, too much jokes!! We also got medals as souveniers and we felt an exreaordinary sense of achievement when we completed it. I would definately recommend it to anyone whos thinking of taking part in charity work because it looks good on your C.V as well! Here are some pics!

I am currently addicted to all these facebook quizzes, especially cause they are so RIGHT all the time. Gosh its quite scary, it has told me my wedding date, how may kids I am having, which race I am supposed to be with and what my parents should have named me!!! LoL!! Anyway for those people who have been asking to know more about what the Naija Daydreamer is really like, here are my answers to the quizzes!!! Enjoy

My birthdate quiz described me perfectly- "5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often lands them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.

With a birthday on the 23rd of the month you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility. Very sociable, you make friends easily and you are an excellent traveling companion.Shakespeare, Karl Marx, Neil Armstrong, Eisenhower and Albert Einstein were born under the number 5.

SanguineThis is the word that best describes me! The dictionary meaning of the adjective sanguine' is cheerfully optimistic! You are usually happy and manage to turn most negative situations into positive ones. Your happy-go-lucky, impulsive and adventurous personality makes you fun to be around although some people mistake your self-confidence for arrogance. Your sanguine disposition will help your life be a happy one; just be wary of dreaming about castles in the sky and forgetting to focus on reality.

What is your xter:You are friendly, gentle, and modest, with a good heart and a lusty nature(damn right lol). You laugh easily, have a well-developed sense of irony, and tend to understand people intuitively. You are interested in new people, but will always maintain notions of insider vs. outsider, and this will lead you to commit to a group of friends and lovers who will be with you your entire life. If you have a weakness it's your timidity -- you feel pressure to remain 'lagom' -- on an even par with others. But this is also your strength.

Saturday, 6 June 2009

Definition of Chivalry--"The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women"

Heyy blogsville,

So I have been told that you all want more personal stories....inside scoop....basically GIST, chai my fans are AMEBO! But you know d customers are always right so here goes......

I was at a house party with my friend and it was one of those naija ones where the babez cook and the guys bring drinks etc. The birthday girl is known as mama cass because her food always tastes like some buca type sturvs, I mean there was moi-moi, efo, punded yam and freaking banga soup. The babe went all out men. You should all know that I am a lover of food, and I dont know how to form when it comes to grubs!

Sha back to the story, we went outside to sit on the porch to eat and there were these two guys standing and drinking, lets call them Stupid 1 and Stupid 2. So S1 goes ahead and introduces himself and starts making small talk. I am a friendly person so I respond and we were chatting about random things. The food was really hot and I started coughing and S1 is like haba, which kind of naija girl are you that you cant eat pepper? I was like what the hell, this food is burning, and which kind of statement is that?

You have to understand that the guy was really cocky and thought he was really funny, so he laughed at the end of each sentence he uttered. I was already getting mildly irritated but was like whatever, just indulge him. Now this is where any normal girl would have realised that he was a dumbass but I have this thing where I always like to psycho-analyse people and figure out why they are the way they are. My friend always says I have time to talk to losers but I just love conversing to all sorts of people!

Anyway back to the gist, the owner of the house comes round with a bin bag and starts to pick up the used plates on the floor in an attempt to clear up. As I was sat down on the sofa and thus near the floor, I picked up the ones around me and passed it to the guy. So S1and S2 are standing next to my sofa surrounded by dirty plates and they are just standing there with thier hands in thier pockets while I am picking up the plates.

So I was like could you please pass those plates to the guy?

The guy looked down to the floor and then back at me and was like nah, ITS TOO FAR!

In my mind I was like this guy has got to be kidding, he must really think he's hilarious.

I was like dude, be serious, the guy is trying to clear up a bit, the house is a mess, just be a gentleman and pass the plates.

He looks down again and then back at me and was like nah, I CANT BE BOTHERED! He must have spotted the irritated look on my face and so he replied, "dont worry, they'll clear up when we are gone, I mean its a party, the house is meant to get dirty.

I was too shocked to respond, but the disgusted look on my face kept prompting him to reply with each sentence sounding stupider than the previous.

He was like"D'ya have some sort of OCD or something, are you one of those super-freakishly clean housewives"?

This is me that my mum is threatning to send me to etiqette school because am so untidy.

Err...no, I just happen to have MANNERS, you know that acient thing that you obviously were never brought up with. It is defined as "ways of behaving with reference to polite standards and social comportment" that obliges you to do or not do certain things. I get irritated by people like this, and he could tell and was deriving pleasure from getting me worked up.

He decided to add the cherry on top by saying "if it bothers you so much, why dont you get up and pick up the plates yourself (you guys have to understand that the plates were literally touching this guys shoes oh!)

........I mean you women are always arguing for equal rights......I dont have to be a gentleman anymore......." and on and on poured the verbal diarrhea that was supposed to be his argument for why men do not need to act like gentlemen since we are all equal. As he was saying this, he moved aside and slided the plates towards me with his foot, while his friend S2 (who was South African, so its not a purely Naija thing), stood there laughing his head off and nodding in agreement.

I WAS FUCKING PISSED! But I knew there was no point arguing with a cave-man unless you want to communicate by jumping up and down while scratching your ass and picking your nose. I am a huge feminist, (but not one of those I dont need a man types), so this kinda of talk gets me soooo freaking worked up.

I just picked up the plates in slience and went to throw it in the trash, while he stood there with this neanderthal grin on his face, like he had just succeded in putting another over-zealous/over-educated woman in her rightful place.

Do you know the wrost part? This dumbass has the audacity to ask me for my number? I was awestruck at his nerve. I did not know weather to laugh or go upside his head.

Why in the world would I give you my number when you are obviously a world-class jerk? I said

Oh come-on, you know I was only joking now, but you know how you jand girls are now, always trying to prove stubborn, your ITK is too much, so I just had to let you know I am not one of those your moomoo guys that you can take for a ride, me I am a real MAN!

I was like WOW, how smooooth, do you use this line with all the ladies???

He said, come on, you and I both know that all this feminist stuff is crap, you are a lady and so you should do certain things.......

At this point, I was like, dude, I have to go ohh....

Ah ahn, how far with that number now.....

All I said was that just remember that first impressions make a huge impact on person's perspective of you.........and from my first impression of you, I would not recommend you to my wrost enemy........and with that I turned around and packed my things and left!(yes I know I love melodramatic one-liners lool).

But on a more serious note, what is up with Nigerian so called "educated" men and thier barbaric mentality, and lack of manners? I mean even if you exhibit such behaviour at home, you must never display such amidst people you just meet. I meet so many Naija boys and they lack simple acts of respect such as saying "please", "thank you", helping out with little chores, letting the lady walk ahead and opening doors. It is these little things that tell us apart.

And NO it is not asking for too much from an african man. My brothers, my cousins, my uncles and a number of my good guy-friends display classic examples of good-upbringing. They never get tired of opening doors, carrying heavy stuff and showing total respect. They do not talk down to women, or expect to treated like semi-gods simply because they own a penis. This does not emasculate them in any way, rather it shows signs of a man who is confident enough in himself without having to re-assure himself, the society and his woman who the man is. Respect is reciprocal and is earned, so a woman will respect you if you show her the same level you expect to recieve.

What I do not understand is that black women are brought up from a young age to accept the fact that men can get away with anything simple because they are men. This means that from a young age they are told that your younger brother is more important, is the opara, even though he stupider than you, his word is law. So they naturally give men respect even though they neither earn nor deserve it. So why do black men constantly need to reassure women that they should be given respect even though our women naturally do??? How many cases do we hear of when a black man will put his black woman through but as soon as he gets with a woman of another race cannot try half of the rubbish with her? It is the way we are brought up.

This type of scenario at the party is always a shock to me because I grew up in a household where the women were treated softly and the men harshly. My brothers dared not cross the girls because if we told dady, he would always take the side of the girls. So many times I would beat up my brother for no reason, and he would not dare report, but they could never lay a finger on me or even raise thier voice because my dad would not hear of it. He taught my brothers that women should be treated with more respect than men because they were women, full stop.

So everytime I seem shocked when I come across chauvanistic men, my friends always look at me like chai this girl were you not raised in the same Nigeria that we all are? It is a man's world, the earlier you accept it, the better for your blood pressure.

Knowing how stubborn I am, I guess I am going to die from high blood-pressure!! LoL!