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Muddy Waters

Missy checked where her boyfriend, Mike, had gone. He promised to spend the day with her, but Kathy had his attention now. This would not spoil her day because she scanned the rive cove and spotted Tad and swam closer to him.
It didn’t take long for Tad to notice her. She splashed him and swam out to deeper water while signaling for him to follow. A secret place was nearby and she planned to lure him there with her teasing. The murky water under her served as the perfect cover for messing around in plain sight. I’m going to get Tad alone, well sort of, she schemed.
“Is this a game?” Tad asked after he caught her and placed his arms around her bare, toned waist. He glanced around as if aware of all the people in the river and on the gravel beach. No one appeared to pay any attention to them.
“It’s whatever you want it to be.” Missy arched her back and dipped her hair into the water to wet it again. She wrapped her legs around him then pulled herself upright. Her butt rested on the top of his swim trunks, and she felt something warm and stiff as she sank lower. She embraced him tightly then loosened her grip around his neck so her breasts barely touched his chest. The key-hole push-up bikini top she wore gave him a sneak peak of what he might have.
“What about Mike?”
“Mike can’t see what’s right in front of him.” She stroked his hair and protruded a pouty lower lip.
“I thought you guys were together.” Tad stated it like more like a question as if puzzled by her come on.
“He’s busy ogling other girls and showing off. You want to take advantage of that?” She pointed to Mike as he dove off the side of the river bank in front of a group of girls. Missy harbored no guilt and hoped Tad wanted to play. He smiled then embraced her tighter as they drifted further from the kid frenzy to a less populated area.
The laughter and screams of the public lowered a few decibels as Missy and Tad’s sighs and breaths intensified. She rocked back and forth on Tad’s lap. The swirl of muddy water hid the light grinding below while their heads, necks and shoulders moved in rhythm. He kissed her then nibbled on her bottom lip. When they had floated a little further from the others, Tad unhooked the bottom strap of her bikini top and slid his hands under it. She closed her eyes and moaned as he caressed her. She forgot the others could see and maybe hear her until a screeching bird flew overhead. She opened her eyes to a sweet lusty smile on Tad’s face.
She slid off his lap and brushed her hand across the front of his swim trunks. She knew he was ready as she turned and swam away. He followed. She led him upstream to a shallower area near some brush slightly out of sight from the gravel beach. After Christmas, people dumped their Christmas trees in the river to get rid of them. A couple of the discarded brown trees stuck up out of the water. Missy had visited this private spot before whenever she had a playmate.
“Mmmm, I think I can undress you out here.” he said as his hands explored lower.
“Not yet. Let’s make sure there aren’t any boats coming this way. I don’t want to be in a peep show.” She pulled away to look up and down the stream. When she was satisfied that no voyeurs were on the loose, she led him a bit closer to the brush for cover.
“I don’t mind if they peep. You’ve got me so hot now, I don’t care who sees.” He moved in close to her.
“Ooh that tickles, “she said as she felt a light touch lower than before.
“What? I’m not doing anything yet, but I’m gonna.” He leaned forward and stroked her stomach with his finger tips and reached down to hook his thumb into the leg hole of her swim suit when he bumped into something rigid.
“There’s something in my way.” He kicked it. The object dislodged and popped to the surface. It rotated and Tad jumped when he saw it was a body and it was spinning toward him. He shrieked and pushed Missy away. On instinct, he yanked his arms up under the object. It tipped to one side revealing a woman’s blue face with bulging eyes and gaping mouth. Missy winced as the body plopped down and splashed her. She screamed and slapped it away causing it to spin into the river current.
Missy frantically tried to get away from it as she tore through the water to the closest shore until a line of submerged Christmas trees blocked her. The scratchy limbs scraped her bare skin. She changed directions. Without thinking about her nakedness, she thrashed through the water to the original beach with all the swimmers. Her unrestrained breasts jiggled in view of everyone. Tad splashed and thrashed behind her. A crowd of people on and off shore stared as they made spectacles of themselves.
Mike, Missy’s boyfriend, noticed too. He saw her exposed, screaming with Tad trailing, almost within reach of her. Mike ran to the beach and clenched his fists; his face tensed like an angry pit bull. He got there as the two of them made it to the shore.
“What the hell are you doing to her?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he pounded Tad with one fist then another. Spectators circled the group and watched as Mike and Tad slugged each other.
“Hey, you were flirting with other girls, so what if I can show her a good time,” Tad yelled while he gasped for air and threw another punch.
“Stop it! There’s a dead woman floating in the river,” Missy said huffing out of breath and pointing in the general direction.
Mike stopped fighting to look and to chew out Missy.
“Why don’t you cover yourself?” he screamed and pointed to all the little boys standing around staring at Missy’s breasts.

14 thoughts on “Muddy Waters”

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Ah, great… that helps me focus my comments a little. Ok, I’m assuming Missy is the woman who has to save her family and that there is maybe some kind of subplot that has to do with the romance with the new guy. So, the focus of the hook should be finding that first dead body, I think. It’s fine to have Missy in the water with another guy in the beginning, but I’d downplay the overtly sexual part until later when we know more about what makes her tick. You definitely need more characterization. Chuck Wendell has some great articles on his site about this, like this one:( http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2013/10/28/plot-and-character/ ), and he is funny as heck in his descriptions. His language isn’t fit for grandmas or Sunday School teachers, but he’s a good at explaining things. You’ll see what I mean…

I like the way a side character finds the body, but I think you took too long to get there. As a result, we have learned little about the story, which is a shame as you have a good writing style. and I would be interested in reading more.