But perhaps the most profound issue surrounding my receipt of this prize is the fact that I am the Commander-in-Chief of the military of a nation in the midst of two wars. One of these wars is winding down. The other is a conflict that America did not seek; one in which we are joined by 42 other countries — including Norway — in an effort to defend ourselves and all nations from further attacks.

"Including Norway" is not quite as bizarrely memorable a piece of odd Presidential justification as "you forgot Poland," but we will make an effort to quote it mockingly in our foreign policy coverage from now on. Even NORWAY, people!

Here is the president laying out the incredibly unrealistic conditions of a "just war":

The concept of a "just war" emerged, suggesting that war is justified only when it meets certain preconditions: if it is waged as a last resort or in self-defense; if the forced used is proportional, and if, whenever possible, civilians are spared from violence.

Yeah those are all kinda impossible to meet to everyone's satisfaction.

Because George W. Bush so brazenly co-opted the utopian rhetoric of liberal internationalists, no current politician can speak of the courage and heroism of those who protest oppressive regimes without unintentionally evoking that jackass in all his smirky vainglory. Though Bush only ever talked about the nations he was actively interested in messing around with for strategic reasons. Obama brought up Burma and Somalia and Zimbabwe. (And, look at that, climate change.)