Goosebumps is close to my heart. Funny how you can read a book that you love so much, even reading another copy with a different cover just doesn’t seem like an option. Don’t get me wrong, the redesigns are cute, and it sort of revives the series in a way for a younger generation. Yet I love the old art here. It’s very 90s, and very much a slice of my childhood.

I’ve always love reading, but when I was 6, learning to actively put a sentence together was hard. I’ll save you the whole story of how it suddenly ‘clicked’ one day, and I could read just about anything. Suffice it to say, the first year I could go to that Scholastics book fair with money in hand and the knowledge that I could read whatever I bought without any help was magical. So I got a VHS of The Haunted Mask (which I still have), and a goosebumps book with a pumpkin book light. I’m not going to lie, the book light was what sold it. I think I bought Welcome to Dead House. It was ’97, and Goosebumps was the series that all the kids were reading. The show had just launched, too, and I remember rushing home every day to watch it. There’s not usually a huge scare in the Goosebumps books. Most of them have ambiguously an happy ending (yes, the day is saved…but you’re a monster, or that sponge is going to wreak havoc when it gets wet again, or your dad might be one of the hundreds of plants in the front yard.) The next dark step up from Goosebumps was Ghosts of Fear Street, and then Fear Street when you were really ready for something ‘darker and more mature’. Something for the teenagers.

My point is that I got this collection as a gift, it’s amazing, and I’m pretty sure it could all be easily read in the course of a day by anyone of any age, and still feel just as magical as it did to me that day at the book fair when I bought my first Goosebumps.

I think we can all agree that the world is a dangerous place, and anyone who steps foot out of their home for anything other than absolute necessities (food, water, bullets, Dolly Parton’s latest album) is a fool. That being said, let us make our way back to the topic at hand: oceanic horror. The spooky, the dark, and the non-shark related horror waiting in your swimming pool, bathtub, and not-so-friendly local beach.

This first story in the final portion of this Black Magic issue reminds me of a Hammer Mummy movie, with its tendency to give innocent characters the darker fates that they don’t quite deserve. It’s fantastic, actually. One of my favorites I’ve shared so far. The second is oddly reminiscent of an old radio show I can’t quite recall the name of, with the singular reminder that one can never truly escape or prevent their fates (or the grisly future of another.)

My friends, this is one of the greatest vampire movies of all time. It is one of the greatest Stephen King films. It is also one of the greatest made for TV movies. Not because of phenomenal effects (though they’re pretty solid and simple), but because of acting, writing, and story. It’s the perfect horror film.

Make no mistake, it’s pretty 70s as far as movies go, which isn’t a bad thing. It suits the Stephen King setting quite well (small Maine-esque town, quaint locals, stranger rolling in a la Something Wicked This Way Comes, and the gradual corruption/death of everyone he encounters). What’s more, who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned Nosferatu? I know I sure do! Do yourself a favor if you haven’t watched Salem’s Lot yet–which I can’t even begin to understand–you won’t regret it.

I have read so many of this man’s books. For me, his humorous balance in his story is on par with another favorite author of mine, R. Chetwynd-Hayes. I’ve already recommended one book by A. Lee Martinez in the past, Gil’s All Fright Diner, but honestly? I love this one even more. There was a period of time a few years ago where I was pretty much reading at least one of these books a week, and Monster is one of the best.

The story plays with a concept I rarely see done as well as it should be. There are monsters everywhere, and normal people don’t know about them. This one adds your typical Martinez guts and gore along with a succubus here and maybe a yeti destroying a grocery store there. A gland in people’s brains that lets them see monsters for what they are, and a sort of supernatural police force doing what they can to at least keep things somewhat normal.

What I love about A. Lee Martinez, is that his protagonists are both very normal and very special in so many creative ways. This book was no exception to the rule, and it is very easily a 3-day read if you put your mind to it. Or don’t. Just grab a glass of wine (or coffee) and enjoy.

I get the impression this first story might have been influenced by a disgruntled tailor with a fussy customer. People, for the last time, if you turn around and find a store or building that you knew wasn’t there the last time you looked–and there’s an eery fog surrounding it, complete with appropriately perched blackbirds and wind chimes–do not go in, and do not buy anything. Or at least don’t accept packages from mysterious gentlemen with sinister smiles.

I’m not going to lie. This movie is incredibly silly. It’s also quite fun. What could be better than a hodge podge of strangers going to an exclusive late night party on an island out in the middle of nowhere? What if I told you Tchéky Karyo plays an evil vampiric count with the most glorious hair you’ll ever see? Still not impressed? How about a magical spell-book that not only binds souls to Hell, but can also conveniently disguise you like a mariachi player or something else equally as ridiculous and fantastical?

Listen, it’s just a fun movie. It’s great for the Halloween season, and it’s dark with enough of a light-hearted twist to leave you with only very mild nightmares at best.

There is nothing I love more than a mint julep, a warm summer night, and a pretentious theatre troupe digging up the dead. Why, I do declare it is the most lovely evening one can imagine. So why don’t we just all relax upon the back patio and enjoy ourselves a long, slow review with […]

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I hope you’ve got a license to drive. Don’t want to get lost, boys. After all, you can’t kill gremlins or ghounies with a silver bullet. Now that we’ve got all the references to movies we’re not talking about out of the way, this is our belated April Fools special in which Corey finally […]