Monday, June 29, 2009

Growing up across the street this tree has always been a part of my life. I climbed it and smelled the amazing flowers hundreds of times as a child. There was an incident with a small branch, my new corduroy pant suit, and an unfixable rip...but we've moved past it.

Now as the owner of the tree, I do feel blessed. It is beautiful.And does cover our picnic tables to the point that it is 10 degrees cooler underneath.And those flowers...oh the flowers.They are beautiful. And the scent is intoxicating.I wish you all had a scratch and sniff computer.

But...there's always a but.

This happens.I don't know what to call them...but they overtake my life. The stalk me. They follow me. They mock me.

They show up everywhere!

The grill.The brick patio.The picnic tables.And as a mass at the bottom of the pool. Please pardon the blurryness of this picture. You see, it's nearly impossible to find a time when the sun is up that the pool water is not in constant motion.All over my brand new, perfectly laid out mulch.The sidewalk to the pool house.My bathroom and hallway.My den.The stairs to the girls room.The kitchen.My children.And sadly, even the dog.And since we eat outside for most summer meals...yes, they land in our food.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I have recently been publicly chastised for not allowing my girls to watch the Transformer movies. I will admit that to some it would appear that I shelter my girls. But to others it might seem like I don't enough.

Just to re-evaluate my choice to not allow this movie I went to three different websites to read reviews. I do think the Focus on the Family website does an excellent job reviewing but I also read from a secular review site as well before making a decision.

Here are the items listed under the 'parent advisory' section for the newest movie.

Very frequent and sometimes rather intense sexual situations, especially in the beginning of the film at the college.Throughout the movie the characters Alice and Mikaela as well other college age girls are wearing short shorts or skirts, tight reveling shirts and otherwise inappropriate clothing.There is a camera shot that zooms in on Mikaela's backside as she works on a motorcycle.When Sam goes off to college, he and Mikaela talk about having Internet datescomplete with candles, music, special outfits and the suggestion of X-rated hanky-panky.There are posters of barely covered girls seen in the background, on the walls of Sam's dorm room.There is a brief moment when a male dog is "dominating" (humping) another male dog at the beginning of the movie, and you see it twice.There is another moment when the small robot that Megan Fox captures starts to hump Fox's leg.A girl says Sam appears to have 'magic' in bed, then pushes him onto his bed and start passionately kissing, you can see under the girls panties.Sam's mother says that she can skinny dip if the government pays for a pool she wants.A few kissing scenes.A young man is seen walking around with his pants and underwear down.You see a man in a picture at a porn shop wearing a thong.You see a robot's balls, but they are portrayed as wrecking balls. Agent Simmons says, " I am underneath his scrotum.When Sam's Mom is "high" on her Pot brownie she makes a reference to her son getting his "cherry" popped and talks about how she heard it all, because she was at home.When Sam's mom is high on her pot brownie, she runs around campus and is then tackled by her husband. She says, "Oh professor! I'll do ANYTHING for an A!" referring to having sex.

The movie opens with a huge fight, there are frequent fights through out the movie and they are very intense.There is a scene where a small robot enters through the nose and probes the brain of the main character, Sam.Many of the robots in this movie are very 'grotesque' and alien looking, rather than machine-like.The movie ends like the first with a massive fight scene, and the fight is huge, and somewhere around 30 minutes long of intense fighting.A woman transforms into a robot and attacks a group, destroying everything in its path. It is eventually hit by a car and gets destroyed after being pinned against a pole and then run over.Optimus Prime rips Grindor's head in half in a fight scene, and we see robotic fluids and pieces fly everywhere.Megatron impales Optimus Prime and one of his blades and detonates a charge, blowing a good portion of Optimus' body apart, killing him. Violent and graphic in a non-violent sort of way.Devastator tries to eat Mudflap, but Mudflap attacks him from the inside out and eventually blows a hole through Devastator's head and escapes.There is a lot of people getting crushed, shot and killed.Lots of robots getting blown apart, crushed and sliced into pieces.There is one scene in a meat locker surrounded by dead pigs.

A small transformer uses the "f" word once."Bitch, barely audible godd-mn, damnit, bastard."Two robots talk about "ass kicking" and how it's supposed to hurt during a fight.The word "pussy" is also used once. (Non-Sexual)Profanity is used often and somewhat gratuitously. Words such as friggin', freakin', and several times characters and robots stop just shy of using the "f" word, but it is implied very obviously."Mom says the "S" word twice in the first 10 to 15 minuets of the movie. A soldier calls some one an a$$hole

And here is the advisory for the first one.

Sex & Nudity Some innuendo early on in the film.The main character's love interest is shown in revealing outfits and acts in a sexually provocative manner.After Sam has locked his room to hide the Transformers and his love interest, his parents order him to open his door and then ask him if he was masturbating. When Sam replies no, the mother suggests that "you can always call it Sam's happy time if it makes you uncomfortable".

Soldiers aim their guns at a chopper that's infiltrated and landed at their camp. As it starts to transform into Blackout, the soldiers open fire on it, but to no avail. Blackout then fires back at those soldiers and their camp, with all sorts of property damage and presumed wounds or deaths.One man is shown being zapped by Blackout. No blood or detail though.During the fight between Barricade and Bumblebee, Frenzy attacks Sam. Frenzy is defeated by Michaela cutting his head off with a reciprocating saw, and Sam kicks the head away.The fight between Optimus Prime and Bonecrusher ends when Prime uses his retractable blade to cut Bonecrusher's head off.Megatron rips Jazz in half. But there is no blood and you see it from far away.In the desert sequence, men shoot at the scorponok robot from a C130 and when they're done he goes back underground and his tail comes off.Barricade throws Sam into the air and causes him to hit the window of a car which breaks.Frenzy throws razors at two men which hits them in the stomach and kills them.Barricade hits Bumblebee with something sharp, then Bumblebee tackles Barricade into a building, nearly killing him.Scorponok stabs one of the men with its tail in the desert sequence, bangs him on the ground, and pulls him underground. We hear him scream.Close to the end, Frenzy shoots out his flying blades at some men but misses and eventually chops his own head off.Sam kills Megatron by putting the allspark in his chest.Throughout the movie nearly all of the violence is a robot attacking another robot or a human attacking a robot. None of the robots bleed. There is no gore.

One use of f*cker used in, "Burn you F*cker!" But it is muffled and hard to understand. At least 2 barely incomplete "f" words (both used with "mother"), 6 "s" words, 4 hells, 3 asses, 4 pisses, 2 damns and "G-ddamn."Also 2 b**ches is used and a "finger" is flashed. The air freshener dangling from Bumblebee's rear view mirror in the beginning, reads "Bee Otch". In one scene, Sam repeatedly yells the "s" word when being chased.

There are many things on there that wouldn't bother me, but a whole lot more that would. I also know that my girls might not even notice a whole lot of these!

It is true that I will never be able to protect my girls from all the harsh realities of the world...but I do have the ability to review things that they might see and make a decision that is best for our family.

I wish I could tell the two people that made me feel so foolish to take a few minutes and realize that they can raise their children the way that they want. And I have the right to do the same!

***I copied and pasted these advisories directly from a website. Please excuse anything that you believe to be offensive or incorrectly spelled or stated.***

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Does everyone love Facebook as much as me? I was a myspace user, and quite happy about it, for many years. When the tide started turning toward Facebook I was not happy. It was boring. No music, no graphics, no backgrounds. But when I caved and started finding friends from long ago, it was worth it.

There was one friend I had always wondered about. Jennifer. We had been really close my sophomore and her junior year of high school. She had gone by her step fathers last name and had been married so I had no idea what name to search for. When her brother appeared as a 'friend I might know' I requested him and not so patiently waited for approval so I could ask where his sister was. A few days later, I had a friend request from her!

Several back and forth messages and she broke the news to me, she was coming into town!!!

One summer evening last year I met her at a local mall for many hours of non-stop talking. We hadn't seen each other in 17 years!

Thanks to Facebook we can stay in contact but being in different states doesn't make for a lot of together time. Two weeks ago I got an interesting message from her.

Want to crash the '89 reunion with me tomorrow night?

What??

I thought about it for a minute and said, "Why not!"

Less than 24 hours later she had made the drive into town and we drug out the old yearbooks to cram for the crashing.

Our high school was so small that we all knew people three years above and below us. After a few hours of reliving old stories we started getting ready to go. Luckily Jennifer knew that when crashing it's best not to show up at the actual begin time. See, I'm new at all of this. We compared outfits, picked shoes, and shared the bathroom just like we'd done in high school. And I think we looked pretty good!We jumped in the car and headed to the reunion site. I didn't know about her, but I was getting more nervous. As we pulled into the parking lot I was a little freaked out. Luckily she was, too! We sat in the car and discussed what to do. Thankfully another Facebook/high school friend that I knew was walking through the parking lot and volunteered to escort us in.

We were so glad we did! It was wonderful to see everyone again! But when you crash, this happens to your name tags.After catching up and grabbing a bite to eat we came back home. To sleep?? Of course not! You see, Jennifer's birthday was Saturday. She turned 37 at 4:14 a.m and wanted to stay up and watch herself get a year older. Even in our old age (heehee) we were able to do it!

After snoozing for a few hours we woke up to celebrate with her until she had to leave. That meant coffee, breakfast, and some swimming. We were treated like royalty as Shawn and the girls fixed our breakfasts and delivered everything we could need to our lawn chairs.What an amazing 24 hours for both of us.

My VBS experiences have luckily gotten better since I started. McKinley's first year, at 4, was awful. I was her group leader and suddenly found myself in charge of 8 children who couldn't go to the bathroom alone, couldn't all walk the same direction at once, and couldn't listen to me!

The next year I gladly accepted an offer to work in crafts. I did that for five years and although I had glue, glitter, and paint in places I don't understand, I did enjoy it.

Then the Holy Grail of jobs became mine. Walk around, take pictures, put them on a flash drive, and hand them to the youth pastor in the morning for a slide show. I loved seeing everyone in all the different areas and most importantly, being able to go to the Hospitality Room at any time for a little snackie poo:c) That was my job for two wonderful years. Then we were given that amazing opportunity to go to Disney World during VBS last year and my job was given away. This year with a new children's pastor the job was not even an option.

When I mentioned this to a friend I was suddenly a snack helper. Snacks, okay, I can do that. See some cute kiddos, eat some stray snacks, and still hit the Hospitality Room. It's all about the munching. Monday morning I was there ready to go. Sadly, that meant GO. In my first 30 minutes I had walked about half a mile delivering napkins. My coccyx was ticked off. I limped to my friend and told her I was crumbling.Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles, she sent me to the Hospitality Room.

I couldn't believe it. It was my mecca. No sweet little children with bathroom issues. No heat exposure. Just snacks. For adults. Chatting. Air conditioning. And did I mention the food?

I loved every minute of it. Well, almost. I didn't want to go on Friday.

Chocolate fountain day.Gag me with a silver spoon.

I stood by the coffee pot all morning to get hits of fresh air.

So as I was enjoying my new job (which I've requested for the next few years) how can this be explained?And these?You might have to just believe me on this, but they're bruises.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

About Me

Just your everday domestic goddess trying not to lose my mind when the stack of school 'take home papers' falls over and I lose the kitchen. Happily married to my hot husband and mom to three presidential daughters.