God damn it I don’t know what it is about you, but I want to deliver a swift punch right to your suckhole.

When you’re too frat for anyone to handle so none of your wall posts get published. Bro, it’s safe to say it’s a TFM.

No, it’s not. It’s not safe to say that, idiot.

Wearing a toga to every party, regardless of theme. TFM.

Oh so you’re “that guy,” huh? Yeah, everybody LOVES that guy.

The only thing that hooks to the left are my dick and my putts. TFM.

The joke is that his political beliefs don’t hook to the left, because he’s a staunch republican, but his frenis (frat penis) and putts do hook to the left.

Playing American Psycho 24 hours a day in your room. TFM.

Seems like that particular film could take a serious toll on your psyche.

When a girl at a party is like, this is the first time i have been let out of the house my whole life, as you nod your head, hand her a beer, and lead her back to your place to bang the innocents out of her. TFM.

I’d like to go on the record and say that the intern did right in posting that sorry fucking excuse for one of my TFMs on here to publicly shame the degenerate who posted it. Seriously, “bang the innocents out of her.”? The high-school mouth-breather who posted that should be absolutely fucking ashamed of himself. You’re lucky you’ll probably never get a bid because whatever fraternity you attempted to pledge would haze you to the point of suicide.

That being said, I think that kid has a promising future as a possible TFM intern.