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Does Gil Meche have a minor league option year left? At first I thought he did, since he split time between the minors and majors in both 1999 and 2000. That’s only two years. He then missed all of 2001 and 2002, so no harm there.

Then I remembered the roster tomfoolery the M’s engaged in last season, sending him to Tacoma (or somewhere else) for one day (he never really went) in order to help their post-season (ha!) roster flexibility. If that counts, then he’s probably out of options.

I only ask because he needs to either be sent down or yanked from the starting rotation.

Update: Derek points out that Meche didn’t miss all of 2002 — he pitched at San Antonio, so that’s using up an option year right there. In any event, we’ve both concluded Meche’s out of options.

When asked if he was surprised by the lack of home runs, general manager Bill Bavasi said, “I am surprised, but not shocked. If you know you are not going to hit a lot of home runs, whether you’re last or fifth doesn’t matter.”

You heard it here first, folks. There’s no difference between last and fifth when it comes to homers.

“They don’t play offense,” [Bill Bavasi] said of his players. “They either don’t know how to play offense or they can’t.”

As we’ve pointed out, no, they’re actually playing the exact kind of offense that was to be expected — make contact, don’t hit for power, and don’t walk. It’s not that difficult.

Here’s the best part, though.

Bavasi said no deals are near, but rumors are circulating the Red Sox and Royals are trying to entice the Mariners into a three-way trade. Boston would trade pitcher Byung Hyun Kim and, possibly, outfielder Johnny Damon to the Mariners in exchange for pitcher Freddy Garcia and minor league starter Cha Seung Baek. If the Red Sox could get the Mariners to bite, Garcia would then be shipped to Kansas City, with outfielder Carlos Beltran going to Boston.

To Seattle: Damon, Kim

To KC: Garcia

To Boston: Beltran, Baek

Does anyone else see the obvious hole in this trade? If Kansas City really wants Garcia for some reason — and they shouldn’t, because they’re losing and he’s a free agent this winter — the M’s should just trade him directly to the Royals for Beltran. Not even Bavasi is stupid enough to want Damon and Kim over Beltran. Wait, no, maybe he is. It’s hard to say at this point, honestly.

Reader Kathleen Frizzell, among others, sent us this quote from the Tribune:

“Bob Melvin managed a perfect game today, he did everything he could to put this team in position to win,” Bavasi said.

It was obvious when he extended Melvin’s contract that Bavasi wasn’t an astute evaluator of managers, but we can now firmly put that in his “weakness” list.

Bill Bavasi

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Pros: Looks sort of like one of the most popular players in Mariner history

Cons: Archaic evaluation, no knowledge of modern analytic tools, poor insight and uncreative, poor reasoning and investigative abilities, poor talent evaluation and understanding of positional scarcity, unable or unwiling to stand up to organization, unwiling or unable to make difficult decisions, poor lineup and roster construction as part of a larger inability to see the team or organization as a whole, by contrast also poor with details, no understanding of replacement level talent or its easy availability, overly reliant on older veteran players without understanding the consequences of doing so, inability to adapt… anaaaaaaaaaaaand now, dear readers, we add poor evaluation of managerial moves and talent.

Bill Bavasi is to general managing what Jay Buhner is to broadcasting.

Reader extraordinaire Paul Covert sent us a really cool email with a great line:

Underperformance by one person is poor performance. Underperformance by a

whole team is poor management.

So, with Bavasi placing the blame on the players for “not knowing how to hit”, remember who it was who thought they could, and rewarded them with above market contracts.

Paul also points out, correctly, that the offense has been underperforming even the most pessimistic projections. Despite the fact we’ve been hammering the organization for their beliefs the past few days, no one expected this level of collapse. It isn’t objective analysis to use this trainwreck of an offense to say “see, we were right”, because realistically, we all thought this team would win 85-90 games. We weren’t as off the mark as Bavasi, but barring some miracle turnaround, we were off the mark.

Now, for that ridiculously stupid Beltran/Damon/Garcia rumor. Hickey spent the offseason scooping everyone on nearly every transaction, so I’ll give it a little more credence than if this was coming from one of the other local writers. However, I don’t see any scenario in which this works to do anything besides enshrine Theo Epstein as the greatest GM of all time. Look at this breakdown.

The M’s trade Freddy Garcia, their best player to date who should have a large market value, for an injured, less talented reliever making $5 million per year for the next two years and an average center fielder making $8 million per year for the next two years. The M’s commit $13 million of 2005 salary to two players who don’t fill any needs or improve the team, and toss away one of their most tradable commodities in the process.

The Royals take their homegrown star who led a resurrection of the franchise last year, along with being one of the five or six best players in the game, for a pitcher who will walk at the end of the year. They make their current team worse, alienate their fanbase, save negligible amounts of cash, and acquire no help for the future.

The Red Sox turn two bad contracts of underperforming players into a superstar entering his prime. They shed payroll, greatly improve their team, gain financial flexibility for 2005, and keep an all-star away from the Yankees.

Seriously, this is the kind of rumor you’d expect a fan on Sons of Sam Horn to create out of wishful thinking. I can’t imagine both Baird and Bavasi are likely to hurt their franchises just to help the Red Sox conquer New York.