Second Item: Victory Openly Reported!
- Nothing Undisclosed about Agramer's victory, holding his latest conquest against the return of "I" Left "My heart in SanFrancisco" Radio. In fact, also disclosed is the death of 48 lovely HSF, which otherwise WOULD have been, er, undisclosed.

Third Item: Cruel Accrual!
- How much luck is a Hardluck's luck if a Hardluck had hard luck?! (Editor's note: This is rhetorical, so far as we know.) Hardluck's luck was more lucky than 5 "Arrrrgh" Drake's luck, taking Accrual (Editor's note: if not its population) in a lucky break. His response to our reporter: "We make our own luck, hard or otherwise".

And now, a word from our sponsor: The Center For Religious Brainwashing- "Dogma is man's best friend!"