I had a great department manager at Zions Bank, Executive Banking. She was constantly
talking to her employees about the importance of "self-talk." She spent time
explaining the impact that negative self-talk would have on us personally and
our jobs. We were part of Zions Private Banking and had our own clients. We
spent much time and effort developing relationships with those clients, so it
was crucial that we were a positive reflection of our department and employer
in order to gain the trust of our clients.

This
past October, at the Western Region Credit-Con in San Diego California, one of
our own, Shane Inglesby, taught a session called "Taking Control of the
Conversation Within." When I saw Shane and his session topic on the agenda, I
was excited to attend; I was greatly rewarded by attending the session.

Shane
asked the group "On a regular workday...what is the typical conversation you have
with yourself from the time you get up to the time you leave for the office?" Our body is like a highly sophisticated computer and behavioral research
scientists have learned that up to 75% of everything we think is negative,
counterproductive and works against us. Then Shane asked, "Are you your own
worst enemy?" Shane quoted author Shad Helmstetter, Ph. D. from his book What
to Say When You Talk to Your Self "The
problem is that most of us learn to rely on external motivation when we should
be learning self-reliance instead."

With
all this in mind, Shane gave us some techniques for improving our conversations
within:

*Silent
self-talk; make mental note of negative self-talk and change it to a positive.

*Self-speak;
listen to how to talk about yourself.

*Self-conversation;
literally talk to yourself and keep it positive.

*Self-write;
literally write what you wish to say to yourself.

*Tape-talk/smart
phone talk; record how you should talk to yourself and listen to it regularly.

Shane
emphasized the importance of changing our negative habits, suggesting we make a
list of them and then work on changing them.

Always
talk to yourself as though the desired change has already taken place. Be specific.
Self-talk is more than one specific phrase. Use this to motivate any part of
your life. This conversation within can adjust situations and how we look at
them. (your attitude)

Situational
self-talk does not expect you to instantly change every bad situation into a
good situation. It simply gives you a way to consciously put the best on any
situation-make the best of a difficult situation. It keeps you in control of
yourself and allows you to function at your best under any circumstance that
comes along.

Changing
the conversation within requires discipline. It is not a casual endeavor; focus
is required. Again, from author Shad Helmstetter "..we have not yet learned to
manage the one part of our lives which is the heart and substance of everything
we will ever do. We have not yet learned to manage our own minds."