Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as too much of a shock for her. 'Think we had better call in the doctor to tell her the news,' suggested the eldest son.

The doctor soon arrived and the situation was explained to him.

'Now, you don't have to worry about anything,' said the doctor. 'I am fully trained in such delicate matters and I feel sure I can break this news to her gently. I assure you, there is absolutely no need for you to fear for her health. Everything will be quite safe if left to me.'

The doctor went in to see the old lady and gradually brought the conversation around to football pools.

'Tell me,' said the doctor, 'what would you do if you had a large win on the pools - say one million pounds?'

MARRIAGE Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence! ------------ --------- --- Man: Is there any way for longlife? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of longlife will never come. ------------ --------- --- Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! ------------ --------- --- Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. ------------ --------- --- It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. ------------ --------- ---