Turning 26

We celebrate our birthday where people around us fill this day with joy, blessings and love. And this happens every year so what is it with turning 26 that deserves attention?! It might appear just a number to some, but to me it’s a whole new shift that happened.

All these years we have misused, taken for granted, given least attention to one thing that actually deserved it all. Oh no, it’s not a boyfriend that I am talking about, but your own body. The body that is your gate to see this world, that helps you do whatever you want to and that listens and acts according to your wishes. Then why is it that we are so ignorant about it?! Just because it takes all your abuse and ignorance without really reacting , that ignorance just increases. Movie cannot be missed but a good healthy meal can wait, ambitions have to go on in full throttle but that little exercise regime can slow down, missing even one minute of our favourite TV show becomes a crime but that few minutes of walk in the park is just too much of an effort, when the only thirst quencher becomes coke and water is just something too boring! Well, the list is endless.

But as they say, excess of everything is bad.

There is a limit to which body can tolerate without showing any symptoms, after which one has to take care. Some people get these signals early while for others there is a window of a few more months before they fall into the same category. And when that happens, all the ambitions, fun, play, socialising etc takes a back seat and it is difficult to accept the fact that your life just changed!

My story has been something similar. I have always been a person who is on my toes and never understood how people could actually sit back and relax...a concept that was just too weird for me. The first signal that I received was 3 years back when suddenly one day my back did not support me! I still remember that feeling; it was a mixture of shock, misery, helplessness and frustration. I was advised complete bed rest for at least a week and believe me that was the most difficult task for me. But being a workaholic I ran back to office the moment I got some signals of recovery and did nothing to ensure that it never returns. For the next two years, I kept getting these signals every six months but again the moment it went, I forgot completely about my body. Then it started coming every month till the time I was advised complete bed rest for a minimum of 5 weeks and this happened exactly a year ago. I was doing my MBA that too in a city like Mumbai and surrounded by my friends who had fun , studied , partied , were totally carefree and enjoying their lives while I had to just lie down on my bed with excruciating pain that gave me sleepless nights!

For a long time it was so difficult for me to even accept whatever had happened with me. A week of rest used to be difficult and now it was five! As if, life had become a slow motion for me while everyone around continued with the normal pace. Questions like “why me?” , “everyone around of the same age group is healthy except me..How?”, “I also played sports, was a dancer then how did this happen?” etc. Moving out of the house, walking and sitting like a normal person, going to a distance of even 10 minutes was like a distant dream. It took me a long time to come to peace with it. Little did I know that what I thought would be over in 3 months, took a year and still hasn’t left me completely.

I asked so many questions but what I did not see was the continuous wake up calls that I had been getting. I conveniently ignored them and for what...ambitions, work, studies, fun?! All these things that now are on a hold.

Back pain is not only a physical ailment; it has a lot to do with your mental condition. Your life changes in many ways. I used to be running around and now I couldn’t even walk, multitasking was the way of life and now it was a distant dream, dancing was meditation and now I could just think about it, an independent girl was now dependant on others for even small little things. For sure, that time cannot be well described in words. So after a phase of shock and frustration one comes to the point of acceptance which is a start in the direction for recovery. We can easily get stuck in the negative cycle of emotions but what takes more strength is positivity and willpower. A lot of research has also been done in this area. “Placebo effect” is basically a treatment given to patient which is medically ineffectual treatment but works wonders. How does this really happen? Because the patient believes in it and that belief is what works. Positivity attracts more of positivity from the universe and the same goes for negativity. You can try this out in any area of your life. So questions like “Why me?” will not help instead force you into a cycle of negativity where your constant focus will be on the fact that you are ill and hence that will be the reality.

Instead of all this pull yourself out of the negative loop. To start with be happy and have an attitude of gratitude. Enjoy this quality time with your friends & family instead of cribbing about it. Do whatever you have always wished to do but somehow didn’t quite find time for it like being creative, reading books, watching movies or TV series, writing etc. Just surround yourself with fun and laughter. Watch funny or light hearted shows/ films instead of serious ones. Everyday visualize that you are running / dancing /walking in the park/shopping around freely etc and feel the joy within. A lot of times I put on a peppy dance number, stand in front of the mirror and imagine that I am dancing. Trust me that joy is like no other! Try and tame your mind by doing meditation and pranayama. And above all have faith that you will come out of it soon and strong and when you do the view towards life will change only for good J