Basically, here’s what ya gotta know: November 10, 2015. Yup. This year. By Xmas. Of this year.

Why do I worry I’ll have nothing to play? I’m so going to be still witchin.

How CAN you be missing this? Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare 2? Some game with….cars….at least I think it’s a game….they just brought a real car from the sky……

Well, what I did learn at MS’s show is that listening to a dude with a thick French accent talk about “Rainbow Six: Siege” is unintentionally hilarious. Try saying that with a French accent. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Kinda ruins the badassity of the trailer.

Feminina:

Ooh, exciting!

Mr. O’ was kind of meh about Dishonored. I think he thought it was an interesting idea, but he wasn’t that excited about the actual play. Not to the extent that he ever encouraged me to give it a try, certainly.

But someday if we’re short on stuff to do (hahahaha), who knows?

Butch:

Ain’t it? I’m very hyped for more fallout. And I say “These are the same dudes that made FO3!” and I’m happy. Then I say “And the same dudes that made Skyrim,” and I’m scared. Still, it’s fitting in nicely with the “witch until FO4, then play that until TR2 hits the PS4” plan. So far, so good.

Feminina:

Hard to believe they kept it quiet for so long and now it’s out in freaking November, but good on them I guess. At least it will control the hype into a semi-reasonable time frame.

Butch:

Well, “rumors” were rife, all of which turned out to be true. But yeah, I’m ok with small hype windows. It’s how Bethesda do. They announced Skyrim five months before release, too.

Oh, stop the presses. If I have an X1 I can play Madden six days sooner.

Feminina:

GET THE X1! Now! Almost a full week more Madden!!!!

Butch:

Now we’re watching “indies debuting first on X1.” Which means we can wait a couple months and get ’em free on PS+. Showing Gone Home dev’s next one.

Feminina:

Gone Home was supposed to be good, right? Maybe their next will be something for the backfiles. When it comes to PS+ and we’re low on stuff to play. Hahaha.

Butch:

It was. Was one of those “Is it a game?” games that we like. We’ll get it someday.

Now they’re doing VR and AR. All that stuff for after the brain surgery. Some dude is building minecraft shit in the air and shit. It’s…..damn. Too bad it’s just minecraft. Morrigan in AR….hmm…..

Man, I hope I don’t someday don’t have to get brain surgery just to play games.

Feminina:

I totally buy that someday everyone will need brain surgery to play games. “It’s just a little chip, don’t worry!” And we’ll do it, because…imagine Madden, projected on your eyeballs from inside your head! The sound, directly in your eardrums!

We won’t be able to resist.

Butch:

There’s a Morrigan joke in here somewhere. There is.

X1 ends with Gears of War 4, so what. And the dude ends a presser that started with “We now have backwards compatibility” with “there’s never been a better time to move on from your 360” without any trace of irony.

TR2 on stage: Still Holiday 2015.

HA! It’s releasing Nov. 10 for the X1. Yeah, might have something else to buy that day. I can wait.

Gameplay out. Looks great. Looks like more of doing what we did, only more so. Right down to the grab it before you fall QTEs. It also has that big Samoan motherfucker in it, too. Liked that dude.

Feminina:

GET X1 NOW!!!!!

Must play all the things on all the platforms all at once! Must have more arms surgically attached to shoulders.

Failing that, yeah, we can wait. I mean, TR it was good, I totally want to play TR2, but we can wait.

The most important question is, how does the hair look?

Butch:

Oh the hair is faboo. I even think they did something to that Samoan dude’s beard. I mean, he has a ways to go to get to Geralt level, but baby steps, man. Baby steps.

All told, it was a strange marketing mish mash with a lot of contradictions. The first big game they showed? FO4, cuz they wanted to tout modding. (This comes out on Nov.10). Next to last big game they showed? TR2, which comes out…..Nov. 10.

People. C’mon.

Feminina:

As long as the hair is amazing, I’m in. If they incorporate dynamic beard growth for Jonah Maiava? Icing on the hair cake.

OMG, that suddenly sounds disgusting.

Butch:

Christ it DIDN’T until you pointed it out.

There’s no fucking way you remembered that dude’s name without googling it. No way. I see through your shit, Femmy.

Feminina:

Of course I Googled, it, man! I never claimed not to Google it. I mean, yeah, I could have specifically mentioned that I Googled it, but that would have taken away momentum from the hair cake line.

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About Feminina O'Ladybrain

As a woman, Feminina O'Ladybrain loves skimpy armor, the Smurfette Principle, and being rescued. She also enjoys setting things on fire, and is unusually fond of shotguns.
She likes lady games, such as 'Lady: The Game,' but since that doesn't exist, she plays a lot of series, like 'Dragon Age,' 'Mass Effect,' and 'Assassin's Creed.'