Where Are All the Moms?

Being a mom can be lonely at times. You become so absorbed in all the wants and needs of your little one(s) that you forget about yourself. Whether you are a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) or working mom, you still need to find friends who have things in common with you or who can commiserate with you. Back in the day, neighborhoods were packed with kids and moms. All you had to do was talk to your neighbor. With our city's shrinking population and aging demographic, it isn't as easy to do. One of the purposes of creating this blog was to offer moms an outlet to vent or see that other's face the same challenges.

It's been a goal of mine to find moms groups or ways to meet new parents. I left after high school and had no source of girl power to return to here. It was another facet of culture shock to return to Youngstown after living in New York where one cannot walk down the block without seeing a pregnant woman or have to leap out of the way of an incoming stroller. I still can't get used to parking 3-6 cars into a parking lot due to all the handicap parking spots here. I have had to sprint into a store, draping my body over my child while trying to keep her safe from wind, rain and snow. Hey, can we get some new moms' parking spots, too? ;)

In some ways, I selfishly enrolled my daughter into gymnastics and daycare hoping to find more moms with children my daughter's age. I find fellow mother's there to be hungry for some interaction but still patient with the non-stop conversation interuptus that a 2-3 year old practices. It is difficult to bond with fellow moms at daycare because we are intent on getting to work on time or intent on bonding with our child upon pickup. However, I'm thinking of creating a mom's group here since it is likely to be full of working moms like me.

As a result, I've been looking for online resources to find mom's group and have had some luck. I can say that the mom population here is spread out and one often needs to travel out of their neighborhood to truly find other moms.

Meetup.com - This is a great resource for finding all types of groups (not just moms). I advise people to ask about the area in the Mahoning Valley that these moms meet. I contacted one group just to find it was mostly SAHM's who live towards McDonald and Champion (which is all fine and good if you live in that direction). Another group I joined (The Barbies) tends to meet in the Mill Creek Park which is a great, centralized location and offers space for kids to run around allowing moms to interact in between wiping noses and doling out sippy cups. It pays to ask a few questions before joining any group. The great thing is there is no pressure to make it to all the activities and there are various activities for moms with children of every age range. You can get as involved or as uninvolved as you like.

Holistic Moms Network - I recently joined this group which meets at the Boardman Library (next meeting April 7th). It is a group of moms who are into organic food, limiting chemical use in their homes/lives and a forum for great tips and advice. It is new to the area and members are from Youngstown, Poland, Boardman, Newton Falls and Canfield.

Anyone else know of good ways to meet fellow moms or other area groups? I imagine once kids are school age, begin dance class or little league, it is easier to meet other moms. But the early years, when one is learning the ropes of motherhood and stuck inside with their child due to nap schedules or viruses, it is nice to find others in the same situation.

Comments

i am a single working mom and in my experience, i've needed to be the proactive one in finding play dates and activities for my daughter. like your great suggestions, i have found meetup to be helpful and also joining classes for my child. my little secret is to be on the pulse of what's coming up, like fun one day workshops, classes, sales, and less known parks - then i share it with the new moms i meet and they think i'm "cool" and want to stay in touch. of course, our kids need to get along first. :)

I think some of the problem with these mothers' groups is a disproportionate number of the members are stay-at-home-moms. In my experience, this can be kind of alienating to mothers who have other responsibilities going on in their lives besides their children. I work part time and I am also a full time college student in addition to being a mother, and I've found it very difficult to engage with and develop meaningful friendships with other moms. Playdates are great, but too often moms end up only talking about their kids and everything related to that...It's nice to be able to have an intelligent, non-kid-friendly-topic conversation going in between wiping those noses and refilling sippy cups.

I hear ya' Old Fashioned Mama. I think it is very important for these groups to list their members status (SAHM vs. single mom, etc.), ages, locations and other pertinent information for those of us with limited schedules to know about ahead of time. Most importantly, they need to be understanding when one has a busy life without a lot of backup care (especially when children are very little).

You know... there are some of the SAHM's that crave conversation that is NOT about there kids LOL - feel out your group OldFashionedMama... you'll be able to find a couple of the mom's that will gladly let you talk their ear off about non kid stuff...

I crave adult conversation all the time! As much as I am thrilled to not have my child being raised in daycare while I work all day, being at home with a one year old all day can be lonely! Especially if most of your friends either aren't moms or are working moms!

Another group that is a good NO DRAMA group is the FUNdamental moms (on meetup too) very nice group of women and you don't have to worry about how it gets when you get a bunch of women around each other/ or chatting too much online... women can get awfully nasty..