MONEY, MONEY EVERYWHERE!

As many of you know, Tubularsock loves everyone and Tubularsock gets along with everyone. Tubularsock is a businessman and by being a businessman Tubularsock gets along with everyone! Even Mexican waiters! AND SO DOES DONALD TRUMP or so he keeps repeating. And no one practices that old adage, “if you throw enough shit on the wall ….. some of it will stick”, better than Donald Trump!

And so when Tubularsock received an urgent email from Eric Trump letting Tubularsock know that his father would match ANY donation Tubularsock made toward his father’s campaign Tubularsock was so excited! And hey ….. no pressure but it has to be made by tomorrow by 11:59 PM so as to hit their goal before the FEC deadline. And to help this along Don HIMSELF is “. . . putting his money where his mouth is by writing a $1 MILLION MATCHING CHECK toward [their] $10 million end-of-month goal”.

And if that wasn’t enough Eric reminded Tubularsock that “I [Eric] run my foundation based upon the principles that my father taught me: honesty, integrity, values.” And what better set of values could there be for a father to pass on to his son? It just shows you that HONESTY PAYS.

So being an honest businessman Tubularsock gave Don a minus $10,000.00. That way Tubularsock figures that matching a minus = $10,000.00 paid to Tubularsock in matching funds. So now, Tubularsock receives the $10,000.00 which brings the minus $10,000.00, Tubularsock gave to Don, back to ZERO and we are all equal.

So to collect Tubularsock went right to where that $10,000.00 should be able to be remove from Tubularsock’s account!

Wish Tubularsock luck!

And sure, Tubularsock will teach YOU the “NEW MATH”. Just send big stacks of unmarked Franklin’s in a brown paper bag to:

TUBULARSOCK NEW MATH PROGRAM
1300 GREENBACK LANE
NEW YORK, NEW YORK $$33$

Now don’t be concerned for one bit sojourner. Even though a financial-vote from a “shiftless shonk” is not equal to a one-percenter’s financial-vote you still have a place in Tubularsock’s BreakRoom.

You may not be worth it and you may be the lowest low individual in our great land but you are welcome in Tubularsock’s BreakRoom.

So just remember that on ELECTION DAY. And even though you don’t participate in the PATRIOTIC voting activity your vote for Tubularsock will be added to the voting machine for you in an attempt to think and act for your interests. It is part of the new community based TUBULARSOCK KNOWS FOR YOU committee.

Well Dr.B if you are looking for one of those conspiracy theories you may be on to something. Tubularsock is really not at liberty to say at this time. As we all are aware Tubularsock is extremely popular and that may be the cover story for why Tubularsock’s name was on Don’s list. Another possible cover story may be meshed in the controversial Vincent Foster murder or was it Seth Rich, John Ashe, Victor Thorn or maybe Shawn Lucas? Tubularsock is not at “liability” to say at this time.

Or could it be linked with Wendi Deng Murdoch and Ivanka Trump and Tubularsock?

Question, questions, questions. Often TRUTH is found in TRUTH but Tubularsock is not at liberty to say at this time.

Tubularsock, Been a long time since math class … but if a negative contribution gets matched, wouldn’t that actually end up taking money from the campaign? I’m all for that — hell, I can give millions or even billions to every damned campaign! In negative $$$$ that is. Except for your campaign, of course, that gets the real thing, such as I’ve got. But … does it have to be in a brown bag? Everything comes in plastic now, can I use one of those bubble-wrap mailers instead? – Linda

Sojourner, I still have most of a roll of the 1-inch bubbles — can I send that to you by drone? Of course, it’s not as much fun as the little ones, but it’s free to a good home, they won’t recycle it.
And as part of my ongoing gig as product research fellow for the Tubularsock Mega Emporium Consumer Institute, I’ve always thought we could use tinted bubble-wrap that released scents when the bubbles pop — good aroma therapy plus keeping our idle hands busy, plus colors for mood support.

Yes! Yes! Linda! Good Smelly, mutli-colored bubbles that Pop! Brilliant! Hand these out to every human on earth, and there would be no more wars. There would only be scents, colors and the sound of Pop Pop Pop Pop Pop all over the planet!

I appreciate your offer, Linda, but I’m a little leery of drones, and besides, I like the little bubbles, the big ones don’t make a distinct enough Pop. The only drone I trust comes from a bagpipe!

Linda, just a Tubularsock thought ……. maybe you could take your roll of 1” BR and give it to somebody who trips a lot. That way, as they are falling they could pull it out and fling it under themselves for a cushioned landing. What do you think?