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What Does a Girl Have to Do to Get Some Sleep?!

I was very early for work this morning thanks to my mother.

Every weekday my alarm goes off at 6am. I snooze till about 6.45 and then jump out of bed, shower and get dressed at break neck speed. I like to get into the office for 8am but my addiction to the snooze function on my phone makes it difficult.

This morning I was woken up by a nudge from my mother. ‘MEE you will be late for work.’ I opened my eyes and checked my alarm. It was 4am. I ignored her and went back to sleep.

‘MEE, you will be late for work. Wake up.’ I opened my eyes again and checked the time on my phone. It was 4.30am.

‘Mummy, my alarm will go off when it’s time for me to wake up.’ I went back to bed.

Nudge. Nudge. ‘MEE, you’re still sleeping?! You will be late o!’

I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. ‘Mummy, when it’s time for me to wake up my alarm will go off!’

‘What if your alarm is not working?’

Aargh! ‘Mummy, it is working!’ I reached for my phone to check the time. It was 5am. I went back to bed.

‘MEE, I don’t want you to be late for work. Get up and go and have a shower.’

At this point I wasn’t sure who to strangle. Her or myself? LEAVE ME ALONE MOTHER!

‘I wake up and get to work on time when you’re not here. Please allow me sleep in peace!’

‘I’m just saying. You know anything can happen. What if the trains are delayed? You have to get up early to make sure…’

I jumped out of bed. She was driving me nuts! I do this every day and suddenly, because she’s in town I’ve become incapable?! Aaargh!

I moved to the sofa to try and revisit dream land. Fail. Defeated, I jumped into the shower to get myself ready.

Today I got to the office at 7:40am. I had to take a walk around the area to avoid being the first person on my floor.

Tonight I might throw a couple of sleeping pills into her night time cuppa. If that’s the only way I can get some sleep, so be it!

She wouldn’t be a naija mother if she didn’t try to control your life.

I tried cooking in front of my mom one day and I ended up abandoning that effort. ” ah!ah! is that enough pepper, isn’t that too much salt, won’t you leave it on the fire a little longer, you are not using fresh tomatoes?”…….argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh