Q: At a recent operations meeting, I whispered a comment to a colleague about an inaccurately quoted statistic being discussed. Suddenly, my boss called my name and proceeded to ask if I'd heard what was just said.

Feeling my face flush I answered no and tried to explain what we were talking about. In a superior tone, I was told I needed to learn to pay attention. I was so embarrassed! I couldn't concentrate and sat in seething silence for the rest of the meeting.

I'd like to give my boss a piece of my mind, but I don't want to jeopardize my job. Do you have any advice?

A: Our negative self-talk tends to ramp up when we're in conflict with others, and it can be really difficult to stay focused. Afterwards, we re-play the scene over and over in our mind's eye, justifying our position and making assumptions.

Anger and resentment further fuel our thinking, challenging our ability to judge the situation clearly. More often than not, the stories we tell ourselves sabotage our learning opportunities.

Be prepared to have a discussion with your boss if you want to resolve this. First examine the situation from a curious, learning focused mindset versus a judgmental one. This will help you navigate through your experience more accurately and identify what you want.

Re-think the situation using Gervase Bush's Experience Cube exercise. It's based on four key questions: What am I observing about this situation? What do I think as a result of my observations? How do I feel based on my observation? What do I want as result of my observations?

Lisa Caswell is a certified executive coach, consultant and facilitator whose work influences change, engages people, and inspires performance. She can be reached through her website, beingabetterleader.com