musings of an opinionated cat

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Happy Feet 0, Great Southern Ocean 1

That’s the question that’s exercising the minds of Happy Feet(aka Pampered Paws) followers everywhere.
As the world knows, the rescued Emperor penguin has disappeared in the Great Southern Ocean within a week of his release off a New Zealand Antarctic research vessel.
The optimistic say his tracking device fell off his tail feathers and that he’s still on his way to find love in a penguin breeding colony on an island somewhere but personally I think he was eaten by one of Free Willy’s rellies. He was too far south to fall victim of a hungry shark hunting for dinner (they prefer human flesh in warmer waters) and too far north to be in leopard seal territory. So. It had to be an orca. There, crime solved.

Of course I do have two alternative explanations.
Perhaps he was so obese after a hefty diet of salmon at Wellington Zoo that the stress of endless swimming caused a heart attack and he sank to the bottom. RIP little Pampered Paws. And we all know who we can blame for that scenario.
Or maybe he suffered suicidal penguin feelings brought on by the excessive attention of all the humans who swooned over him when he was rescued. He probably thought he had found friends for life and was devastated when his own personal veterinarian gave him a shove (we all saw it on TV) to send him over the side of the boat. The boat sailed away and he was left, lonely, friendless and forlorn. It’s easy to see how he could have concluded that life isn’t worth living……. RIP little Pampered Paws. We know who is responsible for that too.

All that pampering and fuss for a creature that’s not even particularly cuddly. It’s time humans made more effort over cats. Especially Persians.

That article is truly entertaining – what a pack of conspiracy theorists. Lack of food further out to sea seems a more likely explanation……..maybe if humans had fewer children so there wasn’t the need to overfish , shark food shrinkage would be solved and a natural balance restored.

I still think Pampered Paws’ disappearance was due to obesity or suicide. In the latter case it should more properly be called penguinicide since the humans who treated him like a celebrity then abandoned him were to blame for his despair.