Long ago, our forefathers (Michigan forefathers, that is) had a great idea. They needed to know how they should divvy up all of the state cash that was allocated for public schools. After much thought and careful consideration, they decided that the fairest and most accurate way to do this was to have one single day, in the middle of each year, where they would simply count the number of students in the classrooms of each school. The more kids a school had… the more money they would get.

Detroit Public Schools will offer $20,000 in Target gift cards — including five $1,000 prizes — to DPS parents who bring their children for a full day on Count Day.

Breakfast and lunch also will be served to every DPS student at no charge.

How else could we possibly expect our public schools to get the proper amount of state funds if not through pay offs, free offers, and outright bribery?

Apropos of nothing, Detroit native and former mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, “is facing 19 counts of fraud and tax evasion, accused of illegally using the nonprofit Kilpatrick Civic Fund for personal expenses, including crisis consultants, a Cadillac, and summer camp for his kids. The fund was supposed to be used for charitable purposes.” (Kilpatrick’s status conference delayed to January)

How could he possibly have ever believed that he’d get away with these things?