If you didn't have your pesky ladyparts holding you back, you'd probably be rich right now. Well, richer. Behold, a chart explaining just what you could do with the extra $10,000 or so the average working man makes over the average working woman per year.

A way cooler apartment? Fourteen new cars? Two new houses? If men and women made the same amount of money over their lifetimes, we would never have needed Oprah and her bygone show's hysterical generosity. I don't know if I'd like to literally have a penis, all floppy and sweaty or shrinking and vulnerable, but I'd sure like to be paid like I have a penis.

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Yes, depressingly, despite of all the gains women have made (we can be named "Devin" and "Ryan" now), the wage gap still stubbornly hangs on, like an inexplicably hangover from brunch that lasts into the evening. According for the Center for American Progress, a woman is the breadwinner in nearly 2/3 of American households, so the wage gap affects more than just the women being stiffed. And college-educated women who make identical choices to men with respect to family size, grades, degrees, and types of jobs can still expect to earn 12% less than men 10 years after graduation. For single women, the gap's even worse — unmarried ladies only earn 57 cents to every dollar earned by married men.

A happy and blessed Equal Pay Day to you! A happy and blessed Equal Pay day to us, everyone!