Friday, March 28, 2014

Something
light before Pessach Cleaning but on the serious side – you still have time to
wash and repair your rugs before Pessach and wash your car and clean the
interior early especially in Israel before the lines start.

From Rabbi D. Winiarz
Shlita: A missionary knocked on my door trying to "witness" to me and asked if I
would mind taking a few minutes to discuss Judgement Day. I got a gleam in my
eye as I explained that I was more of a Rambo kind
of guy (as opposed to the Terminator series) and would he like to see the
weapons cache in the basement?

And
this piece of humor from Albert with me adding the Surgeon General Warning:
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look
into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their
hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and
their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I
drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about
my liver." ~ Jack Handy Surgeon General Warning - If you are in Vegas and
wake up with a wedding band on your finger and don't recognize the stranger
sharing your bed that means that you had one too many especially if the photo of
the bride and groom are you and the stranger.

Parsha
Tazria

As I
have mentioned in the past that there is no early and no late in the Torah. It
seems that the Torah was written to connect the Korbanos, Clothes of the Cohain
and the dedication of the Mishkan together minus the gifts of the princes of the
tribes. The death of the two sons of Aaron culminates this process and instead
of going on to Acharei Mos, Parsha Shemini continues with which foods are
permitted for the average Ben Yisrael to eat. We discussed the fact that the
carcasses of these animals, birds, crawling things etc. were Tamay. We now
continue with other types of Tuma such as a woman who gave birth or had her
period or the various types of skin diseases. In fact I could not find a better
Parsha that this to visit the dead sea which is the Psoriasis Center of the
world where people sun themselves and get special skin treatment. The vacation
that I am talking is not all rest and relaxation, I brought along my Hilchos
Pessach to learn for like a soldier of HASHEM a Rabbi is there 24/7 of course
like a soldier does need time off to eat, sleep and bathe as in this world we
are not angels.

12:1 And the LORD spoke
unto Moses, saying: 2 Speak unto
the children of Israel, saying: If a woman be delivered, and bear a man-child,
then she shall be unclean seven days; as in the days of the impurity of her
sickness shall she be unclean. 3
And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.

Actually
she should have been Tamay 14 days like for a female but the Torah gave her a
Heter in order to attend the Bris. Once she has this, she is ritual clean.

4 And she shall
continue in the blood of purification three and thirty days; she shall touch no
hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purification
be fulfilled.

That
she is Tahor that is for Chullin (non-holy) food but not for Kadosh. If she is
the wife of a Cohain then on the 41st day or after the Mikvah and
sundown of the 40th day could eat Teruma or prepare food for her
husband. The Cohain or his immediate relatives had to help prepare the food due
to this Tuma.

5 But if she bear a
maid-child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her impurity; and she
shall continue in the blood of purification threescore and six days.

In both
cases of having a child, the womb is sore and the Torah requires healing.
Perhaps having a girl has turned the husband off to her by refraining from
touching for almost 3 months, the husband’s desire has now returned. The
refraining during a regular period and after childbirth renews the physical
desire on the parts of both spouses. For it very well can be that the wife has
had so much pain during childbirth that she has almost swore off her husband and
all men but now with a baby and the natural physical libido healing, she has
returned to desire her husband. Even though there are divorces in the Orthodox
Community due to spousal abuse, complete incompatibility or one of the partners
is not mature or psychologically healthy enough to deal with a family. It is
very rare that a husband or wife will want to look for greener pastures within
outside of the marriage as the Frum lifestyle and community do not condone this
(Even though there was a case on a religious Moshav near me where the people
allowed this to happen behind the back of the husband instead of trying to
improve the existing marriage – that was done behind the back of the Rabbi too
and he was livid to say the least).

6 And when the days of
her purification are fulfilled, for a son, or for a daughter, she shall bring a
lamb of the first year for a burnt-offering, and a young pigeon, or a
turtle-dove, for a sin-offering, unto the door of the tent of meeting, unto the
priest.

This is
for a combination of being Tumay and purifying oneself and perhaps swearing off
her husband and vowing not to have more children.

7 And he shall offer
it before the LORD, and make atonement for her; and she shall be cleansed from
the fountain of her blood. This is the law for her that bears, whether a male or
a female.

The
swearing or vowing that I mentioned previously comes from the wording of
“atonement” as there must have been something to atone for.

And
he shall offer it up: Heb. וְהִקְרִיבוֹ. This [singular object comes] to teach
you that only one [of these sacrifices, if it has not yet been brought], holds
her back from eating anything holy. And which one is it? It is the sin-offering,
for it says, “a sin-offering. And [the Kohen] shall effect atonement for her,
and thus, she will be purified” (verse 8). The one through which her atonement
is effected [namely, the sin-offering], is the same one upon which her
purification is dependent. — [Torath Kohanim 12:27] And she will thus become
clean: From here, [we can conclude] that until here [namely, the offering up of
her sacrifices, she is called unclean [and may not eat sacrificial flesh or
enter the Sanctuary]. - [Yeb. 74b]

8 And if her means
suffice not for a lamb, then she shall take two turtle-doves, or two young
pigeons: the one for a burnt-offering, and the other for a sin-offering; and the
priest shall make atonement for her, and she shall be
clean.

One
as a burnt-offering and one as a sin-offering: Scripture places [the
burnt-offering] before [the sin-offering] only insofar as how they must be read
[in the Torah. This is due to the higher esteem of the burnt-offering, because
it is burned in its entirety (Maskil LeDavid).] But the sacrificing of the
sin-offering precedes [that of]the burnt-offering. Thus we learned in Zevachim,
in the chapter entitled כָּל-הַתָּדִיר (90a).

The
section below until the end of next week’s Parsha deals with skin diseases who
have a root in speaking Lashon Hara about a fellow Jew. “They will not listen to
me” said Moshe in the beginning of Shemos and he put his hand in is garment and
lo and behold it came out white of Tsoras and then he placed his hand in again
and it was clean. Leprosy is a bad translation and it does appear to me to be
more like Psoriasis. It could also be a disease that existed then and no longer
exists.

The
Section below until the end of Parsha Metzora

The
disease Tsoras as described in the Torah does not exist today according to the
Rabbis although out of the 4 parts of the Nega on the human body Psoriasis
appears to me to cover two. The other two I don’t know and not being a skin
doctor I have no idea. The Nega on the house or clothing appears to be more a
mold thing and probably caused spiritually of being jealous of somebody’s house
or clothes even though I have no proof to what was.

13:1
And the LORD spoke unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying: 2 When a man shall have in the skin of
his flesh a rising, or a scab, or a bright spot, and it be in the skin of his
flesh the plague of leprosy, then he shall be brought unto Aaron the priest, or
unto one of his sons the priests.

This
appears to be a pigment ‘eating’ skin infection that sometimes we see in people
and it eats their sun tans. I have seen a number of people in the course of the
years with this and once caught something that ate my tan in my teens at the end
of a summer due to contact with certain plants or sea weed. In those days, I was
unaware of Judaism or the laws of Lashon Hara and it could have been a spiritual
reaction. I don’t usually tan that much anymore as I more indoors either in the
Beis Medrash, on my computer or in the gym.

3
And the priest shall look upon the plague in the skin of the flesh; and if the
hair in the plague be turned white, and the appearance of the plague be deeper
than the skin of his flesh, it is the plague of leprosy; and the priest shall
look on him, and pronounce him unclean.

The
Cohain shall be the one who pronounce if the person is Tahor or Tamay.

Se’eith,
a sappachath, [or a bahereth]: Heb.
The [terms se’eith and bahereth] are the names of two [major] lesions [and the
term sappachath refers to categories related to these two major lesions], and
one [major lesion, namely, bahereth] is whiter than the other [se’eith].-[Shev.
6b]. Bahereth:
Heb.
בַּהֶרֶת, spot, taye in Old French. This is similar to the verse, “it is [like]
bright [clouds] (בָּהִיר) in the skies” (Job 37:21)
[i.e., like the spots created by bright clouds in the blue sky].
[he
shall be brought] to Aaron [the kohen, or to one of his sons]:
It is
a Scriptural decree that the uncleanness of lesions and their cleanness do not
come about except by the pronouncement of a kohen. — [Torath Kohanim
13:43]

4
And if the bright spot be white in the skin of his flesh, and the appearance
thereof be not deeper than the skin, and the hair thereof be not turned white,
then the priest shall shut up him that hath the plague seven days. 5 And the priest shall look on him the
seventh day; and, behold, if the plague stay in its appearance, and the plague
be not spread in the skin, then the priest shall shut him up seven days more.
6 And the priest shall look on
him again the seventh day; and, behold, if the plague be dim, and the plague be
not spread in the skin, then the priest shall pronounce him clean: it is a scab;
and he shall wash his clothes, and be clean. 7 But if the scab spread abroad in the
skin, after that he hath shown himself to the priest for his cleansing, he shall
show himself to the priest again. 8 And the priest shall look, and,
behold, if the scab be spread in the skin, then the priest shall pronounce him
unclean: it is leprosy.

If
the cause of the skin condition was from Lashon HaRa then the shutting away from
others would have stopped the disease during his lock-up in his house for 7 or
14 days.

9
When the plague of leprosy is in a man, then he shall be brought unto the
priest. 10 And the priest shall
look, and, behold, if there be a white rising in the skin, and it have turned
the hair white, and there be quick raw flesh in the rising, 11 it is an old leprosy in the skin of
his flesh, and the priest shall pronounce him unclean; he shall not shut him up;
for he is unclean. 12 And if the
leprosy break out abroad in the skin, and the leprosy cover all the skin of him
that hath the plague from his head even to his feet, as far as appears to the
priest; 13 then the priest shall
look; and, behold, if the leprosy have covered all his flesh, he shall pronounce
him clean that hath the plague; it is all turned white: he is clean. 14 But whensoever raw flesh appears in
him, he shall be unclean. 15 And
the priest shall look on the raw flesh, and pronounce him unclean; the raw flesh
is unclean: it is leprosy. 16
But if the raw flesh again be turned into white, then he shall come unto the
priest; 17 and the priest shall
look on him; and, behold, if the plague be turned into white, then the priest
shall pronounce him clean that hath the plague: he is clean.

At
his juncture, I have no plans to continue with this Parsha but since the next
Parsha is a continuation, I may continue it.

Just
as it's a mitzvah to honor the Shabbat and to enjoy it, so it's a mitzvah to
honor the festival days and enjoy them, as it's said:1 ''the holy day
of the Lord honorable'' It's said of all festival days ''a holy
gathering''.21) Isaiah 58:13.2) See Leviticus 23:24, 27, 35,
37.

103:2

How
do we honor them ? Concerning this, our sages, may their memory be for a
blessing, said that it's a mitzvah on every person to shave himself1
on the eve of a festival in order not to enter the festival looking
contemptible, and it's also a mitzvah to wash in hot water, to comb his hair and
to cut his nails, on the festival eve just as it is on Shabbat eve. It's also a
mitzvah to knead bread in his home on the festival eve in honor of the festival
just as on Shabbat eve. Similarly, it's forbidden to eat on the festival (eve)
from the afternoon prayers and onwards, just as on Shabbat eve, in order that
one will eat the (evening) festival meal with appetite. If the festival eve came
on Shabbat then one should eat the third meal before the ''small mincha''. The
same law applies to the first festival day which is on the eve of the second
festival day.21) Can also mean to trim the hair.2) Applies to
all two day festivals outside Israel and to Rosh Hashana as well inside Israel.

So eager was Rabbi Mordechai of
Lechovitch to perform the mitzvah of circumcision that he never once
declined an invitation to act as mohel.One of the young Chasidim of Rabbi Mordechai of Lechovitch was
always berated mercilessly by his father-in-law, who was an outstanding scholar
- but an incorrigible misnaged. "You are just too lazy to study," he
would taunt, "that is why you have chosen to be a
chasid!"Now one day a son was born to the young man so, being a loyal chasid, he
hastened to honor his rebbe, Reb Mordechai, an expert mohel, with the
coveted mitzvah of circumcising the newborn infant.

The eighth
day arrived, and the father rose early, as was his custom, to pray the morning
service in the synagogue of his rebbe. This was the very opportunity that his
misnagdisher father-in-law had been waiting for. Once and for all he
would put them in their place, both of them, this young Chasidic son-in-law of
his with his favorite Chasidic rebbe. He lost no time, hired another
mohel, mustered ten men for a minyan, and while his son-in-law and
Reb Mordechai were still at their devotions, the circumcision was over and done
with.Radiant with innocent expectation the father and his rebbe returned from
shul, accompanied by a retinue of joyful Chasidim, all ready for the
great mitzvah. But what a surprise awaited them! The young man was
understandably distressed, firstly, because he had not been present at the
circumcision of his own son, and secondly, because of the calculated insult to
his revered rebbe. But there are things in this world which, once done, cannot
be undone. There was nothing to do but to quietly go to the rebbe's home for the
seudas mitzvah, the traditional festive meal that follows a joyful
mitzvah. There, to the wonderment of all the crestfallen Chasidim, the rebbe was
clearly happier than on all the other occasions when he had in fact carried out
the mitzvah of circumcision.His explanation was simple: "The mitzvah of circumcising a baby
is, of course, a singularly great one - but it is almost always tainted by the
shadow of a hankering after honor, or pride. Now our Sages teach us that 'if an
emergency prevented a person from doing a mitzvah, Scripture accords him
credit for his good intention, as if he had actually performed the
mitzvah.' Obviously, a mitzvah of this kind has no ulterior
motive, and is reckoned by the Almighty as having been executed in the most
perfect way possible. And this is why I have cause to rejoice more than usual:
for how often do I get a chance to do a mitzvah that is absolutely
untainted?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~So eager was Rebbe Mordechai of Lechovitch to
perform the mitzvah of circumcision that he never once declined an
invitation to act as mohel. One short midwinter's day, on the Sabbath eve
of Chanukah, he was honored with the performance of two circumcisions in
villages far apart from each other, one to the north of this town, one to the
south. When his Chasidim heard that he had accepted both invitations, they asked
him whether he thought he could mange so much in such a short
day.He answered; "Regarding a certain passage in the Torah, the Talmud tells
us that 'it comes to teach us of Avraham's alacrity,' which I understand to mean
that the Torah teaches us Avraham's alacrity; nay, the Torah implants it in
us."And, indeed, Reb Mordechai rose at the crack of dawn, hastened to set out
and circumcise the infants in both villages, and sped home - weary, but in time
to prepare for Shabbos.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Source: Adapted by Yerachmiel
Tilles from the rendition in A Treasury of Chasidic Tales (Artscroll), as
translated by the esteemed Uri Kaploun from Sipurei Chasidim by Rabbi S.
Y. Zevin.Biographical note:Rabbi
Mordechai of Lechovitch (? - 15 Tishrei 1810), disciple of R. Shlomo of
Karlin; known for the fervor of his prayers, and for being exceedingly
charitable, particularly toward the poor of Eretz
Yisrael.

A spouse's infidelity is one of the most traumatic events one
can experience.

I have been coming to Aish.com for guidance for years. The content is
educational, inspirational, entertaining, thought-provoking and often applicable
to my daily life. I have often wished I could share a life experience with the
Aish.com readership with the intent of helping others as I have been helped by
Aish.com. I had hoped that my tale would be an example of heroism or personal
growth. I never dreamed that my experience would instead be a traumatic
cautionary tale. Some facts have been changed or omitted to protect my
anonymity.I was a 35-year-old professional living in a mid-sized city, in a
close-knit Jewish community. I was married, the father of three beautiful
children. Because our children were still young, my wife and I were very busy.
Despite this, we usually found time for each other: we went on "dates" almost
every week, and we dedicated time to being intimate, as is encouraged by the
Jewish laws of family purity. We fought like any couple, but the lines of
communication were always open, and we always reconciled. I was proud of the
fact that after years of marriage, we were still attracted to each other and
loved each other deeply. I felt as if we were one enjoined soul and I was
certain my wife felt the same way.To all outward appearances we were the luckiest people in the world: We
were educated, financially comfortable, active in the Jewish community,
well-loved by our friends and family, and, most importantly, in a harmonious
relationship. I include these circumstances to indelibly burn into your
conscience that what happened to us can truly happen to
anybody.Unbeknownst to me, there was an insidious evil lurking in our community.
My wife and I were friends with another couple. We spent a lot of quality time
with them on Shabbat, in synagogue, and various social functions. We would
double date and our children played together. They were fixtures in our house
and we were fixtures in theirs. The husband, in particular, spent a lot of time
at our house.One day, out of the blue, my Rabbi approached me and told me that my wife
is too relaxed around this man, and that we should take measures to limit their
time together because their conversations are peppered with lewd humor and
playful innuendos. I was dismissive because nowadays that is how friends relate
to each other. I understood the Rabbi on an intellectual level, but viscerally I
could not appreciate how a friendship like this could degenerate into something
worse. This man was very helpful to us and I trusted my wife to be a mature
adult, capable of setting her own limits on what is appropriate. Nevertheless, I
heeded the Rabbi's advice and notified my wife. But as time passed, the
boundaries of their relationship again grew lax. Quite honestly, I did not have
the time or energy to enforce my wife's boundaries for
her.A few years later, this man began to experience marital problems. He
stopped by our house more frequently to confide in my wife. Although I was
troubled by how comfortable my wife was around this man; I did not feel
threatened in any way because my children were also in the house and I felt like
they would act as a buffer for any potential mischief. I was not adequately
familiar with the Jewish laws of yichud (seclusion). Around the same
time, texting had become more prevalent and in retrospect, my wife's cell phone
began buzzing around the clock. This, too, did not seem unusual because texting
had become the new way to communicate. So again, I remained unconcerned about
the amount of time my wife was spending with this
man.My trust was based on the fact that I still deemed our marriage to be
healthy: we shared values and our life mission, we communicated our feelings
easily, and we were still attracted to each other. My wife adhered to the laws
of tzniut (modesty) by covering her hair and dressing appropriately in
public, and she regularly visited the mikvah. Despite all these
safeguards, I still suggested that she not get too involved in this man's life,
but my suggestion went unheeded.The bomb dropped on our tenth wedding anniversary. A few months prior, my
wife told me that this man said something inappropriate to her. She also told
his wife, and he was quite insulted that my wife informed on him. This episode
reinforced my sense of security that my wife knows how to set and enforce
boundaries of decency with members of the opposite
gender.On the morning of my tenth wedding anniversary, however, I discovered
that for the last three months my wife was having an emotional affair with this man –
one that included physical contact, and was on the verge of being consummated.
The reason my wife confessed on that day was because the other woman also found
out and had threatened to tell me. While this man appeared to be a poor "lost
soul" trapped in a loveless marriage, he turned out to be a predator of the
worst sort, confessing that he had been pursuing my wife for years. Worse, the
affair was consensual – although my wife tried to minimize her own involvement.
Despite all the warning signs, I was caught completely off
guard.What followed was a physical and emotional turmoil from which I am still
reeling six months later. Although difficult to describe, it is a near-lethal
cocktail of loss, rage, fear, sadness, shame, confusion, paranoia, disgust, and
helplessness, coupled with the physical symptoms of hyper-vigilance, loss of
appetite, sleep disruption, and weight loss experienced by all trauma survivors.
I continued to work, but I sat at my desk unable to focus, a hollow, empty,
grieving shell of my former self.The shame prevented me from confiding in anyone. In retrospect, this was
a mistake, as the burden is impossible for one person to shoulder, and my
colleagues began to notice my odd behavior and decline in productivity. After
two unbearable days, I called my sister and confessed what had happened. Acting
on her advice, I made up an excuse at work and drove to her house. I could not
remain in the toxic environment of my own home any longer. I returned home a few
days later, still devastated, but with a plan on how to
survive.Everything God does is for the best, but I could not see this in the
midst of my pain. For a few weeks, I walked away from God, and withdrew from all
aspects of my Jewish observance: I stopped going to synagogue, learning Torah,
putting on tefillin. I felt like an onen (one who has suffered the
death of a relative and is discharged from the obligation of mitzvot
prior to the interment). In the ensuing days, with the help of my sister and a
trusted Rabbi I regained some clarity. I began to see the hand of God even in
the midst of the upheaval: The Rabbi and my sister were available exactly when I
needed them and told me exactly what I needed to hear. I could not reach my
mother by phone on that day – the news would have devastated her and probably
further jeopardized my now-shaky relationship with my wife. My children were
young enough not to recognize the turmoil in our
house.I am still digging myself out of this trench with the help of a
therapist, Rabbi, marriage counselor, support group, journal, and a lot of
prayer. Even writing this story is therapeutic. There is still a lot of work to
do to repair the relationship and recover, but there is also hope. And I have
come to realize this upheaval was placed in my path as a growing experience. It
did not kill me because God also gives the strength to withstand life’s
challenges. I am also grateful that the infidelity, as traumatic as it was, did
not blow up into a full-fledge illicit affair that would have irrevocably
destroyed our marriage.A spouse's infidelity is one of the most traumatic events one can
experience, akin to the loss of a child or a terrorist attack. Anyone who
dismisses this has not experienced it. Still, I learned that there are things
that both the betrayed and the wayward spouse can do to survive the initial
trauma and begin healing. I will highlight these below in order to help others
survive, as a gesture of gratitude to God for helping me
survive.

If you have just experienced infidelity of a
spouse:

1) Your actions in the first few days are critical. Things that you do or
say in response to the shock can preserve or destroy the now-fragile
relationship. lt is hard to believe in the immediate aftermath that
reconciliation can occur, but it can. So you need to avoid hasty actions that
can further damage the relationship. lf you cannot control your actions or feel
the urge to act on your violent revenge fantasies, then leave for a few days to
collect your thoughts. Make any excuse to your boss that you need, but please
escape. No decisions regarding divorce, confrontation, or retaliation should be
made in the immediate aftermath. Also, recognize that your body will experience
physiologic aftershocks that will last for months, so make a conscious effort to
take care of yourself.2) Find one confidante, but choose wisely. You will need rational, sage
advice in the immediate aftermath as you cannot count on yourself to be
reasonable. I recommend you speak to the most level-headed, objective relative,
friend, or therapist that you have. A qualified, trusted Rabbi is ideal since
there are very serious and complex matters of Jewish law that will need to be
addressed in the aftermath.You should, however, limit the number of people you tell because not
everyone can be trusted, and once the secret is out, it is much harder to
control the damage. You should also avoid those who may fuel the flames of your
anger. If you have no one in whom to confide, the internet and your local
library have invaluable resources and on-line support groups (e.g. aish.com,
dearpeggy.com, survivinginfidelity.com,
beyondaffairs.com).3) You may be tempted to blame yourself. Instead, take consolation in the
fact that you are not alone and that you did not deserve this. Just because
shame prevents people from talking openly about infidelity, it does not mean
that it is not happening in your community. Infidelity is not talked about in
religious Jewish circles. Although we have all heard stories, no one seriously
thinks it will happen to them. Being observant does not provide complete
insulation. Very little can soften the blow to your ego, and surviving
infidelity is the toughest thing I have ever been forced to do; but I did it and
so can you.4) God does not only forgive us for our small insignificant
transgressions. He forgives us for all our transgressions, regardless of size
(think Golden Calf!). If we are to emulate God, then we must eventually forgive our wayward spouses.
Forgiveness does not require condoning their actions, nor is it unconditional.
Rather it is contingent on their admission of guilt, remorse, and taking steps
to prevent it from happening again. This can take many forms and is a very long
process, but it has to be the focus of all your efforts in the months to follow
if there is any hope of salvaging the
relationship.

If you are the wayward
spouse:

1) Confessing before getting caught is ideal, but if you are discovered,
full disclosure is mandatory for optimal healing. You will be tempted to
continue lying about the details of the affair in order to minimize your
involvement in it, to protect yourself, or to avoid further hurting your spouse.
But take it from a betrayed spouse: counterintuitive as it may seem, full
disclosure from the moment of discovery projects cooperation, goodwill, and a
willingness to put the affair behind you – three things in short supply that the
relationship needs to help restore trust in the long run. After six months, I am
more bitter about the additional lies and the trickle of painful truths that I
subsequently exposed on my own than I am of the affair
itself.2) Break off all ties with your affair partner immediately. You may feel
ambivalent about this, but nothing is more damaging to your marriage than
demonstrating on-going loyalty to the person who helped you damage it. You may
feel sympathy for the affair partner, but you will quickly realize that this
sympathy is misplaced when you reflect on what this person has done to your
life.3) Expect your spouse to act very erratically following your disclosure
because a betrayal of this magnitude is a very disorienting experience.
Nevertheless, be patient and try to empathize with your spouse in the aftermath
of discovery. If you cannot do so, then a few days of forced separation may be
helpful. Also, know that there are books written specifically for wayward
spouses on how to handle the affair.No relationship is 100% affair-proof. Before the affair I would have
scoffed at this notion, but I have learned that every human has an illogical
animalistic side that will permit us to rationalize anything when faced with a
strong enough temptation. We call this the yetzer hara (evil inclination)
and one need not look further than Adam and Eve, a piece of chocolate cake on
the counter, or this story to prove its existence. The yetzer hara does
not knock on your front door; it is much sneakier. My wife is a refined,
observant, mother of three, who had a very normal upbringing and marriage. Such
is the power of the yetzer hara, that she almost destroyed herself, her
husband, and her children's lives by succumbing to temptation.Jewish law has much to say about how to reduce the likelihood of
infidelity. There is no substitute for
strict adherence to these laws, open communication between spouses, and most
importantly, a realistic awareness that infidelity exists even in the observant
Jewish community.Maimonides wrote 900 years ago that seclusion between a man and a woman
in a private setting is the greatest cause of mistakes and grief in these
matters.Of course, a man and woman who seek to violate these norms will not be
stopped by any such guidelines. But they do help to prevent good people from
falling prey to their base desires. We are too lax in socializing with members
of the opposite sex and don’t appreciate the potentially dangerous temptation
that lurks just beneath the surface.Recognition of the threat is the first step in eliminating
it.

Baruch Dayan Emmes –
(at age 67n or 68) Akiva Schein who along with his lovely wife Susan lent their
apartment for a Minyan in our Condo Complex in Hollywood, FL passed away
suddenly. It was he who would make the phone calls to try to put together a
weekly Minyan and then confirm it with all. May his memory be
blessed!

This
is not a statement on Kashrus but non-GMO products without a kosher symbol is
considered non-kosher. This Non-GMO Shopping Guide will help you identify and
avoid foods with GMOs. Look for products (including organic products) that
feature the Non-GMO Project Verified Seal to be sure that at-risk ingredients
have been tested for GMO content.

Barry
Shaw of the Jerusalem Post wrote me this in a private note:
Attending
the Israeli-Palestinian Negotiations conference at Bar Ilan
University.

Top speakers, but the headline belongs to Maj.Gen.(ret.) Yaakov Amidror,
who has been intimately involved in negotiations with the
Palestinians."It is clear to me, from all my talks with the Palestinians, that they
are more interested in 1948 than in 1967. They want 1948. It's not land for
peace. It's 1948 for an agreement. It's clear to me that any agreement that does
not include a recognition clause of Israel as the Jewish State leads to 1948."
While israel has moved toward the Palestinians, they "did not move an
inch."Uzi Arad, Chairman of Israel's Security Council and former National
Security Advisor to the Prime Minister; "I can't think of a single concession
made by the Palestinians since 1994." "Israel wants a final agreement and is
prepared to make concessions to that goal. The Palestinians take our concessions
but Abbas keeps future claims and grievances for future use. There is no closure
here."Uzi Dayan, Former Deputy Chief of Staff and National Security Advisor to
the Prime Minister; "The Palestinians will not sign an agree that says 'end of
conflict, no more claims.' No more confidence building
measures!"Uzi Arad concluded that "The Palestinians may miss opportunities. That
has always been their tragedy. Consequently, it is ours
too."

Egypt has gone from
one semi-dictator to another but with popular support. People don’t understand
that the Arabs need a “Raa-ees” not a
democracy. It is part of their culture and religion and the US and the West
should worry who is the leader and if he is good for their interests and stop
shoving their ideas on others. The Christians forced
the Ashkenazi Rabbis at life threatening inquisition and annihilation to only
support having one wife which has led to the sexual mischief of today. I know
that not many men would be capable of having more than one wife but it would
even out the dating market and lower promiscuity and at my age, I am not
thinking of myself:http://debka.com/article/23798/-Egypt%E2%80%99s-Gen-El-Sisi-runs-for-president-sets-up-10-000-strong-crack-force-to-defend-his-regime