Found this on the Internet:
Question: Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word, what am I?
Answer: EMPTY

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Ok, this is dirty:
Jack and Jill
Went up a hill
So Jack could lick her candy.
But Jack got a shock
And a mouthful of c**k
Cause Jill's real name was Andy.

"I've seen it, you know. The evil of mankind. All the rot, the hate, the pain , the lust. And of course, the greed. Man's need to devour everything in his path, and make it his, or destroy it in the process. It's these dark parts of our souls that makes us easy prey for the Dark Gods, especially gods like Alxus, Sithiria, and Pelira."

-Damien Frost, main character in the book "Blessed with a curse", a W.I.P. of mine.

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever," he said.

"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" the judge asked.

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: -- O o -- and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?" he asked the second guy.

"Well, your honor, I persuaded one hundred fifty six people to give up drugs forever," he said.

"That many people! How amazing! How did you manage to do that!" the judge asked.

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'this is your anus before prison,'" he said.