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Topic: Nephew finally contacted me. (Read 16412 times)

Since last Nov, when nephew blocked me from his facebook page, I've heard from Nephew less than a handful of times. That's fine. I've accepted the new relationship and I don't worry about it. It hurt, at first, but I'm glad I know where I stand with him. Once I was no longer of assistance to him, it was no longer necessary to communicate with me.

Imagine my surprise when I received a text from him about a month ago.

Nephew's text: "Hey auntie Roe, sorry to bother you so early. I don't know if you talked to my mom but I hurt my knee (no, no one bothered telling me) this past week so I missed a good amount of work. I didn't want to miss because I knew if I did miss either of my 2 jobs, I would barely make rent. Well, it kills e to have to ask but I ended up missing 3 days. I also forgot that I had to pay Uncle J for the laptop payment so I am short on my rent. I am going to start getting checks a week from tomorrow so I could pay you back then. But now, I'm broke and don't have enough money for rent tomorrow. I know I should be able to handle this situation but I don't know what else to do. I figured I'd ask you guys. I could pay you the money back next Friday. I just don't know what else to do or who else to ask. Love you guys.

I ignored it. It was surprising (and yet wasn't) to know how well he's learned from his mother.

After ignoring it for a couple of hours, I got another text.

Nephew's text: Nevermind. I got it taken care of. Thanks anyway.

After a few more hours, I finally did respond:

My text: Glad everything worked out. How did you hurt your knee?(and a couple of texts went back and forth, detailing how he hurt his knee)

About a week after that interaction, I decided to give nephew the benefit of the doubt and I texted him.

My text: How's your knee? How are things going?Nephew's text: fine.

That was it. Okay, I got the message. He only sends me long texts when he needs something from me. I haven't heard from him since and this was over 2wks ago. Thank God I didn't go against my better judgement and send him money.

I just hope I don't get anymore texts for money, esp during the holidays.

Thanks to eHell I don't feel guilty and my spine is strong.

1. I am assuming ignoring a text for money is ehell approved? ;-) 2. I know many believe it never hurts to ask and I'm sure those people will think it wasn't rude of nephew to ask for money but given that I'm 1600 miles away and nephew needed the money that same day, that added to the rudeness of the text for me.

Some messages are best to be ignored. However, if he sent you another message few hours later and you responded to that, I wouldn't consider it ignoring at all. (Granted, I usually keep my phone in the purse, so I often don't see messages right away.)

I think it's rude to ask for something when that's the only time you can be bothered to communicate with the person you're asking. Especially if they've tried to keep in touch and you've ignored them. You didn't ask for one but I feel like offering a hug.

"2. I know many believe it never hurts to ask and I'm sure those people will think it wasn't rude of nephew to ask for money but given that I'm 1600 miles away and nephew needed the money that same day, that added to the rudeness of the text for me."

Well, gee Roe, doncha know you just should have wired the funds to him? At your cost, of course.

No worries on your end. It's a trite phrase, but.... the apple does not fall far from the K'nnihave Tree.

I think it's rude to ask for something when that's the only time you can be bothered to communicate with the person you're asking. Especially if they've tried to keep in touch and you've ignored them. You didn't ask for one but I feel like offering a hug.

POD

And I too remember reading many of the K'nnihave posts. It's sad that your nephew is like this.

ETA:Ignoring was definitely the best response. I would ignore future requests too, unless they showed that he had learned to be different and that he was apologetic.

You were perfectly fine to ignore it - I mean really, two hours isn't long to ignore a text at all regardless of the content. In this case, it was the perfect response to the request. Really, I find it interesting that just 2 hours after hitting up his supposed last resort - Bank of Roe - he had it all figured out. Makes me think you were the easier option, rather than the only one.