The Woolamaloo Gazette is a satirical newspaper I first started on email way back in 1992. It allows me to vent steam on stories which are bugging me or amusing me and hopefully make people think at the same time. Satire is the best defence in any democracy. The rest is just my ramblings, mumblings or rants. You can contact me via "laughing penguin (at) woolamaloo (dot) org (dot) uk" (remembering to swap at for @ and mind the gaps)

Monday, June 04, 2007

Lameolympics

I haven't been much of a fan of the idea of the London Olympics so far - frankly it is going to cost a fortune and a lot of hassle and I can't see it giving much to the rest of the country outside of London. Admittedly I'm not a big sports person to begin with, but since all the major new facilities (if they are built in time and work) will be in London they aren't going to be much use to trainee athletes around the rest of Britain, are they? And since they look certain to siphon off huge amounts of Lottery funding from arts group, local charity volunteers organisations and even local-level sports intitiatives to pay for this fiasco it looks like it may well hurt the encouragement of sports training in the UK, which is a huge own goal. Now they announce the lamest logo I have seen in years - it looks like something an amateur would have done around 1986 for smeg's sake. Given the millions the chancellor (soon to be Prime Monster) has indicated he will steal out of other much needed lottery funds to pay for all of this perhaps instead of this dire logo they should have an image of Gordon Brown's hand going into the collective wallet of the nation? I notice the BBC's poll of reader's views shows over 80% thinking it sucks like a hungry anteater.

I wonder how much money they wasted to come up with these pathetic designs? Never mind, perhaps Putin will have nuked us all before then. Assuming any of Russia's nuclear weapons he's threatening us with actually still work or even actually have a warhead inside since half of them aren't accounted for, probably because they sold them to rogue states and terrorists... Funny though, a dictatorial madman with a highly questionable human rights record, a history of aggression abroad, using fossil fuels to bully and intimidate others then threaten civilians with weapons of mass destruction - haven't we imposed sanctions and even gone to war for less than this in the recent past? Yet here we are with a few Western leaders just saying something weak such as "oh we'll have a talk with him at the G8..." and comments that his speech was "unhelpful." Unhelpful is refusing to co-operate with police to extradiate a suspect in a criminal case, telling millions you will point nuclear weapons at them is rather more than that; in fact its an act of terrorism.

Dancing to the Music of Time
Re-creating scenes from the Battle of Ticonderoga using only toy penguins
Creating new life from assorted body parts, Lego and glittersticks
Trying to see if cream cakes improve health
Thinking on ironic and painful punishments for Tony Blair and George Bush to endure
Teaching penguins to sing choral harmonies
Training my cats in anti-terrorism techniques
Making human-shaped figures out of raspberry jelly then trying to animate them by magic to do my bidding
Supporting my local brewery
Aiding the KLF (Kangaroo Liberation Front)

Some recent cinema outings:

The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo
The Crazies
Alice in Wonderland
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Micmacs
Solomon Kane
From Paris With Love
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Ponyo
Toy Story 2 3D
Singing in the Rain
Daybreakers
Sherlock Holmes
Avatar
Where the Wild Things Are
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
National Lampoon's Animal House
Men Who Stare at Goats
Zombieland
Toy Story 3D
Surrogates
Creation
Mesrine: Killer Instinct
District 9
The Thing
Dorian Gray
Inglorious Basterds
Public Enemies
Coco Before Chanel
Dr No
Martyrs
Terminator Salvation
Spartacus
Star Trek
Tintin in Tibet
From Russia With Love
In the Loop
Let the Right One In
Monsters Versus Aliens
Religulous
Boat That Rocked
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Two Lovers
Milk
Valkrie
All About Eve
Waltz With Bashir
The 39 Steps
Quantum of Solace
Day the Earth Stood Still
Mirrors
Wall-E
Star Wars: Clones Wars
Man on Wire
The Dark Knight
Hellboy II: the Golden Army
The Incredible Hulk
Edge of Love
The Wackness
Elegy
Jules et Jim
Fear(s) of the Night/Peur(s) du Noir
Idiots and Angels
Jason and the Argonauts
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Paris
Le Voyage de Ballon Rouge
The Orphanage
Diary of the Dead
The Other Boleyn Girl
Celebrity
Juno
Cloverfield
Alien Vs Predator: Requiem
Lust: Caution
Sweeney Todd
Charley Wilson's War
I am Legend
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Beouwulf 3D
Ratatouille
30 Days of Night
Seachd: the Inaccessible Pinnacle
Michael Clayton
The Brave One
Resident Evil: Extinction
3:10 to Yuma
Atonement
Run, Fat Boy, Run
Bourne Ultimatum
Day Watch
Manufacturing Dissent: Uncovering Michael Moore
In the Shadow of the Moon
Tekkonkinkreet
The Hottest State
Stardust
Hallam Foe
The Simpsons Movie
Casablanca
La Vie en Rose
Die Hard 4.0
Shrek the Third
Ocean's Thirteen
Pirates of the Caribbean: at World's End
Jan Svankmajer animated shorts
28 Weeks Later
Spider-Man 3
The Painted Veil
Factory Girl
300
Becoming Jane
The Illusionist
Ghost Rider
Last King of Scotland
The Science of Sleep
Hot Fuzz
The Fountain
Night at the Museum
Perfume: the Story of a Murder
The Wizard of Oz
Manhattan
Pan's Labyrinth
Casino Royale
The Prestige
The Devil Wears Prada
The Departed
Clerks 2
Cars
Hoodwinked
The Black Dahlia
An Inconvenient Truth
Severance
Al Franken: God Spoke
Art School Confidential
Clerks II
My Country, My Country
The Host
Busting
Lady in the Water
Wristcutters: a Love Story
Cars
Driving Lesson
Friends With Money
Miami Vice
The Break-Up
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Superman Returns
Mildred Pierce
X-Men 3: the Last Stand
Mission Impossible III
Silent Hill
Slither
Junebug
The Proposition
Inside Man
V For Vendetta
Syriana
Walk the Line
Good Night and Good Luck
Cache (Hidden)
Underworld: Evolution
Brokeback Mountain
Memoirs of a Geisha
Hidden Blade
The Producers

About Me

Name: Joe

Location: Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom

I'm a 30-something blogger in Edinburgh, once sacked by my former employer for comments on the blog. I'm a bookseller and a serious book and movie fan, also posting reviews on books, graphic novels and movies regularly. The rest of my time is spent in thinking up smartarse comments, tickling my cats and supporting my local brewery.