I had a good friend in high school that was gay that never told me and it stuck with me. I feel so bad, even now, that he never felt comfortable enough with me until I was 20 or 21 years old to tell me he was gay. He probably doesn't care now, but I think I care so much about this subject because of him.

yeah I cried like crazy.

Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:54 pm

Elorza

Joined: 18 Sep 2002
Posts: 1003
Location: east coast

It's been hard to see the beauty and hope in my world lately. But it's right here in front of me...

Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:58 pm

xGasPricesx

Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 1591

I had a good friend who several years ago who was really athletic, popular, good looking, smart, etc. Kind of like the typical All-American jock just minus the arrogance and dickitude. One of those really genuine people, whose nice to everyone and is always looking out for others. He always had sort of a reputation of a 'ladies man' too, although anyone that really knew him knew that he never really did anything with any of those girls, but no one ever really thought twice about it.

One semester after the break, he came back noticeably distant and withdrawn, hardly ever even emotionally reacted to anything. I knew something was up, and kept trying to talk to him about it but he wouldn't tell me, or anyone else, anything. Things continued like this for a few weeks, and it got to the point where I was seriously considering trying to get him help, which would have been difficult because he wouldn't have agreed and his parents (who were pretty religious and had some weird issues with therapy and what not) wouldn't have agreed either. Before I could even start to come up with a real plan though, I came to school one morning and my teacher pulled me aside and told me he had shot and killed himself.

In his suicide note he came out, and then talked about how long he had been keeping that in and the emotional torture that had been putting him through, it was pretty dark stuff.

I think about those couple weeks a lot, even though I shouldn't, and about every opportunity I may have had to break through to him. Still drives me crazy to this day.

Anyways, that video was very powerful, and I will definitely be posting it to any and all of my social networking sites.

Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:17 pm

Disharmony

Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Posts: 3032
Location: Buried in Minnesota dirt.

A very heart wrenching speech. Fuck the school systems for turning blind eyes to incidents like these. Reminds me of growing up.

Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:26 pm

Raoul DeGroot

Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Posts: 2437
Location: Son Quest

Boy it's so weird how kids don't know you can just move to a big city when you hit 18 and no one will give a fuck about any of that junk. Crazy shit

Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:35 pm

Champy

Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 11

Man this makes me think about a few of the Gay kids I went to high school with. I don't know how they made it. I never would have harassed anyone for any reason but I had some friends who did; I'm ashamed to call them friends but by now I've severed ties with anyone like that.
I wrote a column about homophobia for the school paper my senior year in HS... usually my columns got a LOT of attention from all sorts of people (they were usually humorous) but that one got a lot less positive feedback than most of the other ones I wrote over a 3 year period.

Thu Oct 14, 2010 6:10 am

neveragainlikesheep

Joined: 22 May 2008
Posts: 2536
Location: TKO from Tokyo

My lord. That killed me. Absolutely cut me up.

I'm lucky in that I've always had a gay uncle in my life and have never felt uncomfortable with the fact that gay people exist.

I pray there will come a day when young people don't have to feel bad about who they are and don't have to encounter the despicable hate they have to fight through today. I'm thankful we have people like Joel Burns who can use their positions of authority for whats right. We need more people like him in our nation.

Thu Oct 14, 2010 6:52 am

Asterax

Joined: 21 Nov 2002
Posts: 1883
Location: Maine

Raoul DeGroot wrote: Boy it's so weird how kids don't know you can just move to a big city when you hit 18 and no one will give a fuck about any of that junk. Crazy shit

A few obstacles:
Enough money to move
FAMILY
Picking a city
A job and a place to live
Leaving your friends
Having friends in your destination city

I'm not discouraging moving, but they say that there are three truly stressful events in life: death, divorce and moving. With years of mental and emotional torment, moving can add a how another level of stress for an 18 year old. I think it should be done, but its not that easy either.

Thu Oct 14, 2010 9:55 am

Sage FrancisSelf Fighteous

Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21654

xGasPricesx wrote: I had a good friend who several years ago who was really athletic, popular, good looking, smart, etc. Kind of like the typical All-American jock just minus the arrogance and dickitude. One of those really genuine people, whose nice to everyone and is always looking out for others. He always had sort of a reputation of a 'ladies man' too, although anyone that really knew him knew that he never really did anything with any of those girls, but no one ever really thought twice about it.

One semester after the break, he came back noticeably distant and withdrawn, hardly ever even emotionally reacted to anything. I knew something was up, and kept trying to talk to him about it but he wouldn't tell me, or anyone else, anything. Things continued like this for a few weeks, and it got to the point where I was seriously considering trying to get him help, which would have been difficult because he wouldn't have agreed and his parents (who were pretty religious and had some weird issues with therapy and what not) wouldn't have agreed either. Before I could even start to come up with a real plan though, I came to school one morning and my teacher pulled me aside and told me he had shot and killed himself.

In his suicide note he came out, and then talked about how long he had been keeping that in and the emotional torture that had been putting him through, it was pretty dark stuff.

I think about those couple weeks a lot, even though I shouldn't, and about every opportunity I may have had to break through to him. Still drives me crazy to this day.

Anyways, that video was very powerful, and I will definitely be posting it to any and all of my social networking sites.

This is incredibly sad. And it's not an isolated incident. For anyone who thinks that Religion isn't poisonous, please refer to stories like this one. I know people who have to fake their whole way through life because of the arbitrary rules written in a man-made book thousands of years ago. Shit is not right.

In the past 3 weeks I've been reading incredibly sad accounts of gay people getting hurt, ridiculed, killed or messed with somehow. More so than usual.

when i was in high school, in nowhere alabama, the girls in my gym class decided i was gay. i don't know why. probably because i wore black lipstick, 12 hole doc martens and boys skateboard clothes. i dressed like a weird goth dude. anyways they decided i was gay, blocked off the entrance to the locker room, told me i couldnt attend gym. the gym teacher pretended it didnt happen, gave me gym pamphlets to do gym paper work and passed me with a c-. i had to sit on the bleachers every day and i really liked softball, volleyball, basketball, track and other games but i didnt get to have gym class even tho it was required. after the teachers letting it go on, it made the students assault me often. usually people threw stuff at my head when i was walking down the hall. like books, milk cartons and breadrolls in lunch. i used to cry every day in the bathroom. now im very sensitive to anyone being hated on for being gay. it was the worst time of my school life. i started just skipping gym class eventually and smoking cigarettes and drinking beer behind the field house. school sucked for me. i had to fight people a lot over being called gay. suicide crossed my mind but i liked fist fighting assholes too much. they tried to get rid of me from the school by trying to send me to the high school for the arts, but my mom wouldnt let me go. i should have sued them.

Last edited by C.R.A.Z.Y on Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:43 am; edited 1 time in total

Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:40 am

Stumbleweed

Joined: 09 Mar 2005
Posts: 9740
Location: Denver

Thanks for posting, I'll be sharing this. Those stories (and xGasPricesx's)are so terrible and so unnecessary. I hope a lot of parents that let these things slip see it and correct their kids... I hope he's right that cultures will change, but that won't do much for the people still stuck in the morass of intolerance that makes up large parts of the world. And yeah, fuck religion... it's at the root of so much of this shame and guilt and hate... it's unbelievable.

EDIT: CRAZY, that's fucked...

Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:43 am

Captiv8

Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Posts: 8546
Location: Third Coast

Wow. That was one of the most emotionally compelling and passionate things I've seen in a long time. It's disturbing that this kind of abuse and bullying continue to happen in schools (and other places) the world over. I thought by the time 2010 rolled around everyone would be concerned about jetpack fuel and planetary travel, not continuing to perpetuate bigotry and ignorance. Greatest nation on earth, my ass. All we can do is break the cycles and recreate them with positivity and humanity.

Thank you for posting this.

Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:43 pm

AdamBomb

Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3183
Location: Louisiana

Damn...that was a pretty moving video. Thanks for posting it.

I don't know what the solution to stop bullying is. Ironically, most bullies are deeply insecure and put down other more obvious insecure people as a way of making themselves feel secure. Its unfortunate that kids can't fully understand the long term ramifications of what they do. On the other hand, this guy is right. If you can see past getting bullied, life will get better for you.

Side note: its crazy when you are in middle school and 5'2" and you are getting bullied by a dude that's 5'6" only to find out later that was his peak height. Too bad you can't see into the future.

Thu Oct 14, 2010 2:15 pm

Captiv8

Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Posts: 8546
Location: Third Coast

One of the solutions to bullying, as both Joel Burns' and C.R.A.Z.Y.'s testimonies illustrate, is increased awareness from school administrators and teachers. I'm fairly certain that education programs, at least for the most part, do not cover how to deal with bullying situations or LBGT issues, but they should. Teachers need to understand that their role extends beyond the class material and into the values that kids grow up with. I'm not saying they need to be surrogate parents, but they need to be understand that some students have misconceptions about certain things. Teachers have a chance to rectify this to a degree. Sadly, there is a lot of bureaucratic red tape to wade through, and school board's come crashing down conservatively on what is and isn't taught in schools. Hatred, fear, ignorance, and blind faith are not family values.

Thu Oct 14, 2010 2:22 pm

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