coping with tragedy

Once again we are reminded of the negative aspects of life as we witness the senselessness of another mass shooting. We watch and we are aghast at the reality of another 9 lives lost in a scenario that never should have happened. The why’s of this situation, like so many before it, will never truly be known. Even if they could be known would we ever accept a reason that makes the unfortunate event any better or any easier to deal with?

The recent event in Connecticut was an unfathomable tragedy. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I wish only the deepest thoughts of unconditional love, healing and peace to every family member and friend who is grieving. Each moment is so precious. The only way to prevent more of this senselessness is to acknowledge that there are still so many who need to know that they matter, that they are loved and that there is a place for them in this world. They need to know before it’s too late for them and other innocent people. Therefore, let this day be a catalyst to increase your love of your fellow man and woman tenfold. Let todays events not harden your heart and send you into anger, fear and vengeance, for that is the consciousness and energy that led to this tragedy in the first place. Instead choose love. Choose it greater than you have ever chosen it before. Smile bigger at everyone you see. Help your neighbor and fellow man when it is needed. Make it a point be a beacon of such light each day that these powerful ripples of love touch as many as possible. There is no other answer. You will hear talk for days in the media of what could have been done or what should be done. None of it, save love, will make a difference. Make today the day of an even more powerful way of living. In honor of them all make today the day you chose to love without end… “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” -Martin Luther King...

The events two weeks ago from Tucson, Arizona bring to light a theme that comes up whenever unfortunate events like this occur in our country or our world. Why does this happen? What disturbs us most is the seeming randomness of the act. Could that have been me or somebody I love? We want our world to feel safe. We have enough to worry about with bills, kids, family and relationships. The last thing we all need is to worry about is walking through the parking lot of our local grocery store. Many who try to explain these events have different views. For example many of those who are atheists use it to confirm their disbelief in God or in any purpose to life. On the other hand, those who believe in God say it is a divine plan and that it is not for us to understand or question. I have a different view to offer. This is a view that says that everything has a perfect purpose to it and that there is no randomness to the world we live in. Also, the reason for these events is something that can be known and understood. The question is not, “Is it understandable?” but rather “Do you want to understand? Due to fear and thoughts of anger and revenge when this happens, the vital and important messages that the reality is offering often gets lost in this negative mindset. To see a reason something is happening in life requires a change in the way we look at life and interact with everyone around us. If we are not ready to change, the answers will be resisted, and if these unfortunate events should ever happen again, one will be forced to confront the very same feelings and resulting questions once again. What may be the most shocking revelation regarding all of the things you experience in your life is that the purpose for them is always for one person and one person only, You. You are the one who will decide how this event impacts you, your life and eventually your world. Will you take on a dark vision of the world and live in fear or because of what happened, or will you use this event to make a determination not to use anger or hate in your life like the Tucson gunman, but rather to spread as much love and good will to everyone you know and meet? This decision is the most critical one you will make as it relates to the probability of experiencing something like this again. Who you decide to be in relation to everyone and everything you experience is the creative seed of your journey through life and your greatest power. How you interpret the world and respond to it is everything, for you will decide – al-ways… On a side note, in April of 2009 a gunman walked into a civics class in Binghamton, New York and killed 14 innocent people. One of those killed was Bobbie king who was my wife’s Aunt. She was substitute teaching an English class at the time. I blogged about this incident then and you can read what I wrote here. – http://www.howardfalco.com/category/dealing-with-tragedy/ Howard Falco, is the author of a powerful new book on self-awareness titled “I AM: The Power of Discovering Who You Really Are (Tarcher/Penguin) http://www.thebookIAM.com He is a spiritual teacher and speaker on the unlimited creative power of the mind. He offers individual private sessions regarding overcoming any issues in life. More about his work and schedule can be found at www.HowardFalco.com...

A few weeks ago I posted a blog entitled “Why it all happens for You”. The underlying message being that all events have purpose and the more you can see the purpose, the more your life is experienced with a peace and a flow from this understanding. I bring this up again now because in the last few days, front and center, this message became very clear at home. My Wife’s Aunt, Bobbie King (her mother’s sister), was doing something she loved, filling in substitute teaching English at a civic center to immigrants looking to become U.S. citizens. As many of you may have heard on the news, a gunman came into the Binghamton N.Y. facility and killed 13 people. Bobbie King was one of them. We got the news Friday night and Sunday morning my wife was on a plane with her mother to attend the funeral. Bobbie King was a mother of ten wonderful children and grandmother to seventeen grandchildren. A kind and loving human being that never uttered a bad word about anybody and always had something positive to say to all who knew her. All you have to do is see the warm and gentle nature of each of her ten children to know what kind of a woman she was. In speaking to my wife today she said she stood in the receiving line at the funeral with her mother and Bobbie’s family for over three hours as hundreds of people passed by and paid their respects. She said each and every person had the most loving and kind things to say about Bobbie. Each person was touched in some way by her gentle nature and loving and accepting heart. You can never truly know the ultimate destiny or path of another person during your lifetime. Even for the people who are closest to you. All you can control is how you handle the moment to moment expression of your creative energy out to them. Life is a sea of constant change. Everything you love and enjoy in your life is on loan from the infinite source from which it emanated from. It all has a finite life to it. Whether it passes or changes from what are seemingly normal circumstances or the transformation or change happens from an event that is viewed as chaos or unnatural, change happens nonetheless. Therefore, there is no better time to express your love to all of it then now. So you can choose to see this as a senseless tragedy of a beautiful life cut short, or you can see this as a wonderful opportunity to wake up further to the finite beauty that is all around you every day. You can use this awareness to be present with your loved ones and strangers a little longer, be more compassionate and less judging, smile a little bigger, worry a little less, love a little deeper and freer, and simply enjoy more fully the magnificence and miracles in life that surround and that are for you each and every day. So tonight at my son’s little league game I smiled a little longer at him before he went to bat and hugged him a little tighter afterword telling him how proud I was of him. When my daughter left for gymnastics practice I kissed her forehead a little longer and made sure I told her how much I love her. When we all got home I let our dog Karma lick my face a little longer. And as I laughed as she did it her tail wagged a...