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It can be confusing, but if you want to talk about anything you're free to. (Well, not anything anything. We can't be explicit about certain things. Anyway.) We won't judge. This is a space for you to talk about what's on your mind and get help sorting things out if that's what you want. Or if you just want to gripe about things that's fine, too.

Hey, Fenrir! I remember posting on your introduction. Welcome to PC and welcome to the LGBT club! XD

Who were you with before if you don't mind disclosing?

Quote originally posted by ~Kawaii~:

I'm going to be a downer and remind us all that same-sex marriage still isn't legal in the UK. There's still a long way until it will be, it's only passed one reading in the House of Commons, it still needs to be approved by the House of Lords and a load of other stuff before it will actually be legal.

That's true. :\ But like others have said, it's a very enthusiastic step ahead and the future seems bright. Hopefully the politicians in the House of Lords have some sort of common sense, too.

Quote originally posted by TornZero:

Too bad there are politicians that actually believe video games are a greater threat to the safety of the United States than guns.

Back to those 175 politicians, though, I'd probably take the blunt instrument route, myself. Either that or I'd be up on the podium and just... stare. Just stare at them, trying to keep myself from laughing at them. (However, I'd definitely have a s***-eating grin the whole time.)

There's always going to be those crazy politicians that make a person wonder how they were even elected into office. And then, of course, you have the 175 politicians like the ones in the House of Commons who are extremely egocentric and radical in their thinking and just downright selfish. The worst part is that these people are being paid big bucks for their ridiculousness.

Btw, where did you get that "Some dudes marry dudes. Get Over It." shirt? That's epic! I never really wanted to wear any type of clothing/accessories that shout "I'm gay!" because I didn't want people approaching me or asking me questions, but I guess people don't really care what someone is wearing nowadays. I'm glad people don't confront you about it often. @_@ No one should judge anyone on the clothes they wear anyways.

If anyone did have a problem with my apparel I know exactly where I would tell them to shove their concerns! Just because I where a shirt that says that doesn't mean I'm gay, I hate when people make those kind of assumptions. Granted, I know what you mean because that's exactly what people jump to. I got the shirt at a site called FCKH8.com (I'm not trying to bypass the censor that's really the name!)

/late response

Also, yay for getting closer to marriage equality in places in the States and over in Europe.

Also, I've noticed that my mom talks about me being gay a lot more lately... in fact, it's almost like she's proud about it... and at the same time, my dad always sighs and looks sad when she mentions it. He's agnostic, and she's a very devout Christian... What's up with that? lol

Hey hey! Can I join? I don't really ever feel a true sexual attraction to someone (not that I mind that sort of thing or hate doing it or anything), but I do become romantically attracted to either gender. I've dated and been with both genders so I'm pretty comfortable with my identity. I also don't really identify as either gender... Ehhh I guess I'm kind of weird haha.

Also, I've noticed that my mom talks about me being gay a lot more lately... in fact, it's almost like she's proud about it... and at the same time, my dad always sighs and looks sad when she mentions it. He's agnostic, and she's a very devout Christian... What's up with that? lol

Gahh, I feel like my mom is going to do the same exact thing if I come out to her. >.< She's the type of person to be asking annoying questions constantly, and I'm scared that if I do come out to her, she'll make it like a public thing. I know she'll be accepting of me, hopefully, but she's very "social" and who knows what she would do. All I want to do is come out and not have to deal with all the questioning and examination that comes with it, lol. It's most likely inevitable, though. My dad probably wouldn't even mind if I was gay, tbh.

Anyways, that's interesting that she's quite religious and is accepting. I mean, hey, that's actually awesome. She's probably realized that she can't really do anything about it, so there's no point in her fighting to change who you are. She also probably doesn't want to hinder the relationship she has with you.

Quote originally posted by Magic Christmas Lights:

Hey hey! Can I join? I don't really ever feel a true sexual attraction to someone (not that I mind that sort of thing or hate doing it or anything), but I do become romantically attracted to either gender. I've dated and been with both genders so I'm pretty comfortable with my identity. I also don't really identify as either gender... Ehhh I guess I'm kind of weird haha.

You're definitely not weird! That's completely fine to feel the way you do. :] All that matters is that you have confidence in yourself and your identity, really. Have any stories to tell? :p We'd love to hear.

_________________

Anyways, hope everyone is doing great on this lovely day, and happy Valentine's day to those of you who are currently in a relationship. <3 Enjoy your day!

@Gyardosamped: See, the thing is, that happened when I was in 6th grade, like, 5 years ago. I didn't start feeling like this until my freshman year, last year. And... I don't know what to do about these feelings, I don't have anyone else to test on these.

And, I remember last year, during band camp, my best friend got into this relationship with this guy, okay? And, it sucked because I liked her, and, eventually, liked(?) him too? She moved to Tyler down south this year, but, he's still here, and, it sucks horribly.... And, I don't know what to do...

@Gyardosamped: See, the thing is, that happened when I was in 6th grade, like, 5 years ago. I didn't start feeling like this until my freshman year, last year. And... I don't know what to do about these feelings, I don't have anyone else to test on these.

And, I remember last year, during band camp, my best friend got into this relationship with this guy, okay? And, it sucked because I liked her, and, eventually, liked(?) him too? She moved to Tyler down south this year, but, he's still here, and, it sucks horribly.... And, I don't know what to do...

The thing is, we're really good friends, we've been friends since last year. I'm in a RP of his, and we talk at school basically everyday(such is the advantages of being in band).
Hell, my friend even told us that, and I quote, "If she didn't know us, she thought we were a couple!"
Though now, the feeling have generally moved to friendship for me, and, I'm perfectly fine with that.

Though, I do like two people now... One guy, one girl... And they're both my good friends...

The thing is, we're really good friends, we've been friends since last year. I'm in a RP of his, and we talk at school basically everyday(such is the advantages of being in band).
Hell, my friend even told us that, and I quote, "If she didn't know us, she thought we were a couple!"
Though now, the feeling have generally moved to friendship for me, and, I'm perfectly fine with that.

Though, I do like two people now... One guy, one girl... And they're both my good friends...

Hmm, well, that's good that your relationship as friends is strong. If you don't sense any feelings of affection from him, then it's quite difficult to tell whether or not he is attracted to you (and same goes for the girl you like, too).

Do you think he (or the girl) has any feelings for you past being friends at all, or has thought about it for that matter?

It kinda sucks to be "friend-zoned" when you like someone, but he might be heterosexual or something and that'd be even more awkward had you confronted him about your feelings. It's a tough situation overall.

It's all very odd. I tend to keep these feelings to myself, and, to be honest, I don't really try because mostly I'm not sure of any of my feeling for any of them...
To be honest. Do you understand anything I'm spouting out?

It's all very odd. I tend to keep these feelings to myself, and, to be honest, I don't really try because mostly I'm not sure of any of my feeling for any of them...
To be honest. Do you understand anything I'm spouting out?

I completely understand you. :p As you said, it's an odd situation overall. It's good to explore your feelings, though. I'm sorry I couldn't be of much help. Maybe someone else in the club can give you better advice? :] I've never been in the same situation, so it's hard for me to give you proper advice, but I'm sure someone in the club has.

In the end, though, don't regret your feelings, but appreciate them for what they are, if that makes sense. Many times in our lives we are unsure of what we are feeling and what we want, and it's good to talk to others to see if they have any type of advice to guide us in the right direction.

I completely understand you. :p As you said, it's an odd situation overall. It's good to explore your feelings, though. I'm sorry I couldn't be of much help. Maybe someone else in the club can give you better advice? :] I've never been in the same situation, so it's hard for me to give you proper advice, but I'm sure someone in the club has.

In the end, though, don't regret your feelings, but appreciate them for what they are, if that makes sense. Many times in our lives we are unsure of what we are feeling and what we want, and it's good to talk to others to see if they have any type of advice to guide us in the right direction.

Thanks for your help Gyardo(do you mind if I call you that?). You say it wasn't much, but, it helped me a lot!
It didn't help me sort out my feelings, but, it did make me slightly more confident in myself.

Thanks for your help Gyardo(do you mind if I call you that?). You say it wasn't much, but, it helped me a lot!
It didn't help me sort out my feelings, but, it did make me slightly more confident in myself.

I thought about posting here for quite a while. (I honestly think I've been stalking this particular thread for almost a year). I really don't know why I didn't before or why I am now, but I guess it was just me being myself.

I've read a lot of the posts here and came to understand and respect several point of views. I'd like to be able to say that I know I'm gay (actually a lesbian, ... is there a difference? or can a girl say she's gay too? Hmm...), but I can't because I don't.

I've absolutely no problem with being gay, but I'd like to be able to define myself (not for other people, but for me). I'm going to university next year (hopefully) and while I don't think it's a massive hurdle, I'm starting to feel that my 'cluelessness' about my sexuality is taking a lot of my time. Time that should go to trying to decide what to do next year and making some big decisions. I'm not sure why I suddenly 'decided' that this is so important for me to know and why I think that it's limiting me in other things. If I had to guess, I'd say that it's because next year I'm supposed to have and know everything. I'm supposed to know what to do with my life and I can't do that if I still don't fully know who I am.

I just needed someplace to vent and you all seem like such nice people . Either way, I'd like to join (if you'd have me).

Yes, we'll have you. We take everyone. That's not to say that we don't have standards, of course, just that we've already concluded you'd be wonderful to have here.

I sort of understand your feelings. (I don't want to say I completely do since I don't know exactly what they are.) I get the feeling you don't want to be worrying about it and you want to be able to say something to someone else and not have to speak whole paragraphs and give them too much information. That ability to just say "I'm gay" (which lesbians are also so it's fine to say) and have people go "ah, okay" and move on to other things. It makes things simple. But if your feelings aren't so simple it's not so easy.

It's also okay not to know exactly who you are and what you're feeling. Everyone's different. I think lots of people will understand that. I hope you won't over-worry about it. Maybe you just need time to figure it out. You can also just, you know, define yourself as "still thinking about it" or however you want to word it.

But to have to know everything before college? I'm graduated from college and I'm far from knowing and having everything. College (or just being out of high school in general) might be your time to find yourself once you aren't held down by everything you've done and said and that's followed you through your elementary, middle, and high school career. There is no rush to define yourself.

I sort of understand your feelings. (I don't want to say I completely do since I don't know exactly what they are.) I get the feeling you don't want to be worrying about it and you want to be able to say something to someone else and not have to speak whole paragraphs and give them too much information. That ability to just say "I'm gay" (which lesbians are also so it's fine to say) and have people go "ah, okay" and move on to other things. It makes things simple. But if your feelings aren't so simple it's not so easy.

It's also okay not to know exactly who you are and what you're feeling. Everyone's different. I think lots of people will understand that. I hope you won't over-worry about it. Maybe you just need time to figure it out. You can also just, you know, define yourself as "still thinking about it" or however you want to word it.

My feelings change from time to time. Sometimes I do want to be able to say "I'm gay" and be done with that, but other times I feel like 'Why do I even need to say it?' (not because they already know, but because it's none of their business). Lately I also find myself watching what I say (like controlling the urge to shout "Wow, she's hot" during a movie ). Thought I think my sister (and my parents, ... and my brother, ... and my other sister, ... well my entire family) think that I might be a lesbian. My sister hasn't flat out asked, but I think she's waiting 'til I say something. I'm not quite ready to do that yet, but if she'd ask me straight out I think I wouldn't deny there's something going on even if I'm not sure what it is yet.

Quote originally posted by Scarf:

But to have to know everything before college? I'm graduated from college and I'm far from knowing and having everything. College (or just being out of high school in general) might be your time to find yourself once you aren't held down by everything you've done and said and that's followed you through your elementary, middle, and high school career. There is no rush to define yourself.

I know to a certain extent that I don't need to have everything figured out, but it's a feeling. I don't know if I'm able to explain it correctly, but I'll try my best.
Basically my teachers (and friends/family) are saying that we have to think about our future. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, not at all, but the way they go about it is (a little) 'extreme'. I'm certain they're just trying to get me (and my classmates) motivated to really think and not make any hasty decisions, but they get me too motivated. I'm trying to figure everything out to make the best possible decision. I know I'll have to make one regardless, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm actually looking forward to next year, because I'll probably be on my own for the first time and I have thought about the fact that it might be easier to start anew without something holding me down.

At the college I went to in Seattle, there were two GSA-type clubs, religious clubs weren't allowed at all, and they had a very strict no bullying policy. They made it very clear that any bullying whatsoever, even verbal, would get you kicked out of the school really fast, and had several discussions and even classes on the subject.

Where I'm going now, in Redneckville, Oregon, there is a Mormon club, and a Christian club with posters all over, its own page on the school website, and its name right at the top of the club list. There is a GSA but it's not listed on the official list of clubs, even though it's been an officially active club for 7 years. I've never heard anything about it, seen any posters or found anything on the website without a searching google. No mention of bullying or any anti-bullying policy has ever been made.

Not surprising of course, but just some observations about how different the two places are.

First of all, I wanted to say welcome to you, although I already said it to you through VM. :p

What I’m understanding from your posts is that you’re trying to sort of find “who you are” before what you consider to be more important things start entering into your life, like college, for example. In reality, though, everyone is different when it comes to finally appreciating themselves for who they are. I definitely don’t think you should rush things, especially with trying to find out who you truly are. I’m sort of confused with your posts, though, and don’t necessarily understand what you’re confused about. It seems as if you know you’re gay and are satisfied with that, which is a really good thing confidence-wise. Are you trying to find the courage to come out to your family/friends before college? Someone’s sexuality is a very private matter, and it’s something that should not be hurried. Go at your own pace. Growing up too fast is definitely not a good thing. Also, it seems as if you’ve really been pressured into “thinking about the future”, and although you really need to have plans when it comes to how you’re going to live, where you’re going to go school, etc., there’s no need to make any hasty decisions when it comes to your personal self. I know it feels like a heavy weight is put on your shoulders during the duration that you’re closeted, because I am also closeted and I also really want to find the courage to just “come out” already, but I definitely am not letting anyone or anything pressure me into making any decisions that I could potentially regret in the future until I feel it's time to make those decisions. When I feel it’s the right time, then that’s the time for me, but that’s different for everyone. Just because you’re entering college and possibly a new life without your parents/family for a while, doesn’t mean you have to hurry things.

What you’re feeling is normal, and it’s natural to feel confused, because, well, society has taught us that being anything but heterosexual is “incorrect”, and it really makes those that aren’t heterosexual feel as if we’re making all the wrong decisions. I really want to come out to my family, too. I want that burden lifted off of my shoulders like you do, too. Although I don’t necessarily want to tell the whole world, I want to be able to find the courage to tell people I’m gay without any hesitation, but that braveness hasn’t entered into me yet. If you rush things, it could potentially end bad and you’ll probably be a lot more confused than you were before, trust me. I also believe my family thinks I’m gay, too, and are just waiting for me to come to them to reassure their thoughts. It’s very difficult to hold back in the urges, too. Anywhere I see a male I like, it’s not necessarily easy to hold back in the thoughts, either.

Although this post didn’t really give any advice, I just wanted to make it clear that it’s completely fine to feel the way you’re feeling. Don’t grow up too fast. It’s not worth it in the end. Finding who we truly are takes time and it's part of being a human being. Finding who we want to be takes time. It’s not going to come to you in a day, a month or a year. Hell, it might even take decades, but that’s fine. I know you want to get that weight lifted off your shoulders, but don’t force things until you feel it’s the right time. If you think it’s the right time now, then just come out to your closest relatives and that’s it. The world doesn’t need to find out about your sexuality, and your friends don’t need to know for the moment, either, or ever if you don’t want them to. Yeah, you might be starting a new journey in your life soon, but you’re still young, and there’s still plenty of time to think things out. Don’t let college and new beginnings pressure you!

It's not actually called that, I was just comically describing what it's like, lol. It's not even that redneck... it's just a little town in the middle of nowhere that consists mostly of conservative Christians.

It's not actually called that, I was just comically describing what it's like, lol. It's not even that redneck... it's just a little town in the middle of nowhere that consists mostly of conservative Christians.

Ohhhh....
Sorry, I'm kinda slow to some of these things...
I know how you feel about being in a little town in the middle of nowhere with a lotta Christian folk.
Though, I don't think Texarkana's that small anymore... And it's actually in a very important location in Texas, like, right in the corner where, like, all the trains pass through.

I’m sort of confused with your posts, though, and don’t necessarily understand what you’re confused about. It seems as if you know you’re gay and are satisfied with that, which is a really good thing confidence-wise.

Sorry for the confuse-inducing posts. The reason why I seem so confident and confused at the same time is just me. I'm not very good with emotions in general and most of my confusion with my sexuality stems from a 'disability' to understand 'love'. (Not to say that I don't know what love is or don't recognize it, I just think it's a hard concept). I believe I've never been in love and while I don't think that's weird because as you pointed out I'm still young, it's something that made me think. (I also tend to think too much and generally make things more difficult than they are). As I said before I don't know what love is, so how do I know when I'm in love with someone? That's a question that's relatively easy to avoid, because I think a relationship starts with a mutual liking that will/should develop into love. No worrying about that anymore because starting a relationship is the first thing to worry about. (Sorry if I'm not making sense anymore, I'm almost giving myself a headache here).
I'm going to stop myself here, because if I go any further I think I'm going to be writing a book here so let's stick to the basics: love = difficult concept. Basically how can I know I'm gay if I don't know who I love or even who I like? And not knowing how you know that? (I like a few people, more than a few but I have no idea if I like-like them or just like them)

I thought about the terms asexual and aromantic for a while, but I believe they don't fit (here I go, labeling myself again ). No, I didn't mean to label myself, I just thought that they might make it a bit easier for me to explain, but they don't. I'm capable of romantic (and sexual, but I'm not going to mention that) feelings, but believe it or not: for a lot of people. (That makes me sound so ... weird) Well take my friend for example. She's a nice girl, (has a boyfriend) and I enjoy talking to her, hanging out with her (she is my friend, so quite obvious). Would I go on a date with her? Quite possibly, yes. Would I enjoy that date? Probably. Would I go on a second date? Well, why not? Would this situation ever occur? No. (At least, I don't think so) But (and I'm seriously going to be mortified if I'm the only one who thinks like this) replace her with any of my friends (or other people, not everyone) and I wouldn't mind. (And by date I mean drop of on the doorstep and kiss goodnight date cliché)

Man, I'm just going to blame the late hour for my ramblings. I meant to ease the confusion a bit, but I'm afraid I just made it worse. Well, at least you've got some hugs back from me and my sincerest apologies for the headache you might get.

Well, one last thing maybe. I've never met anyone who has the same thoughts about love (or really anything) as I do and I'm not exactly confident about everything I've written here, so excuse me for being so vague in explaining myself (or trying to), but I've never dared to before and I haven't exactly proofread any of this.

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