We’re pretty rough on you here at Disgrasian. But that’s not our fault, it’s yours–you’re too loud and too proud, your heinous taste has left a black mark on the history of Chanel, your clothing line is annoying, your book is obnoxious, your face gives me tremors, you look like a tranny. You deserve it.

That said, it’s your birthday. We’re going to take it easy on you (please note how incredibly difficult this is) for a day and even throw you a FABULOUS PARTY!!!