So my friend Eric has this friend (who will remain anonymous) who I think could be the ultimate LigerBeat model and perhaps a Grade-A fuck. I have never met him but apparently he is mega fine and hung like a horse. Mega rad, right? Except for one catch – homeboy is, like, way into poop sex. Whoa! And by poop sex I mean that not only is he into smearing shit on tits whilst fucking, but this dude enjoys eating shit straight out of ye old poop chute. And he is quite open about it as well, which I guess one would have to be in order to find a willing partner. Total turnoff. Just thinking about it is making tumble weeds roll through the dried up wind tunnel that is my vagina.

But this contradiction led me to ask myself this: would I consent to poop sex in exchange for the best sex ever? And by this I mean, would I give in a single session of poop if I were guaranteed the best fuck of my life (at a different point in time, of course)? I can’t quite decide. It’s a toughie. What do you think? How far would you go in order to be guaranteed the best fuck?