olio n. (OH-lee-oh): a miscellaneous mixture; a hodgepodge

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I know Mother’s Day was over 2 weeks ago, so I guess you could say I am a bit late with a Mother’s Day post. It is funny, when I was pregnant with Nico during Mother’s Day 2015 people sent me notes to say Happy Mother’s Day. It felt a bit odd to me, as we had not yet met this little baby boy. This year also felt a bit strange — as he is still so young.

My mom passed away when I was 16, and even then she was not really present in my life going back to the age of 12. Those four years in between were filled with doctors appointments, hospitals, nurses, at-home health equipment, food stamps, depression, and so much more. I do not remember much about middle school and the beginning of high school, but I remember the bed pans, the pain, the fear of not being there for her. What kid should go through that? I also do not remember much about how we spent our Mother’s Day each year.

So why do I sound like the scrooge of Mother’s Day? I strongly believe that we do not need these hallmark holidays. Those that know Chris and I will know that my response to someone who says, “Chris, pamper Tami on Mother’s Day.” I would say to that, “pamper me everyday.” Why not, right? We should love, cherish, and take care of each other each and every day. Why find one day out of the year to share appreciation? Why not do it every day? I feel the same way about Valentine’s Day and a plethora of other hallmark holidays.

So since I have spent more Mother’s Day without my mom than I spent with her it maybe takes a bit of the pizazz out of the day for me. Since Nico is so small, why celebrate? When he is old enough to care I would rather he decide how he would like to approach the day. Some kids get really into it. At the end of the day, though, I would rather teach and model to him that we cherish each other every day. Why not, right? Life is short.

Did you ever have a financial role model growing up? I did not. I had “learn-from-my-mistakes” role models, in that I decided I never wanted to live in the way that I grew up and made a voracious effort to work my ass off and live frugally in order for that to never happen. Some days Chris asks me if I am still on that road and if I will ever slow down and realize I can chill a bit.

It is an interesting conversation (well maybe to me). Who impacted how you view money? Did you ever have a financial role model? Did you grow up watching Suze Orman on TV telling you when you might be DENIED? Were you given everything, and never taught that money does not grow on trees, and that there are consequences to racking up a crazy amount of credit card debt in the tune of never freeing yourself from the monthly payments? Or, did you learn how to know about your net worth, an emergency fund, and the importance of your credit score? Additionally, that your credit score can also be a causing factor in getting a job or not?

Money and finances are a reoccurring blog topic for me. Somehow over time money and sex seem to be taboo topics. No one really wants to talk about either. And, yet “Fifty Shades of Grey” became a mainstream movie (not without some backlash) what will be the movie about money that potentially starts the conversation amongst us? Somehow I think that movie will not be of much interest to the masses. Yet, how do we actually shift the world to start taking care of itself?

This recent Daily Worth article shares one woman’s experience and what she learned from her dad, or…like me what she learned not to do. Her dad is now retired and has to live on a fixed income. The potential for many who do not plan accordingly for the future, save, and approach retirement in a way that allows you to really “retire.” Chris and I look at today and what we save as a way to prepare for our future. For a time when we hope to have been savvy enough to find a point in time when we can make the choice for ourselves rather than be forced to work past relevancy. That way we can pamper our family and truly enjoy life.

We all have to start somewhere, but somehow I think many just never start. Or maybe it starts with who our financial role models are and what they teach us about today, tomorrow, and the future.

Every once in a while I crave something I cannot have. My sister sent me a link to this Fast Company article for: The Level. I want one. Be sure to read the Fast Company article for a full background on The Level. But, here is the gist: it is like a skateboard that you stand on at your standing desk, or wherever you might be. It is a balance board that means that you use your core all day long. At this time the Indiegogo effort to raise money for The Level shows that they are sold out. So unless a bunch of us want to go in together to get a group volume we have to wait until they sell normally. Bummer. I think this could actually make me focus differently when I stand at my desk (the few times I am actually at my desk during the day).

I have a standing desk, which I love. I can decide if I want to stand or sit in my tall chair. Often I stand and I enjoy it. I have had a dilemma for quite some time that I am sitting at a computer (whether at my desk or later at night on much couch) and I want to do what I can to reverse the effects of my ever turning in shoulders. I try to stretch more and more when I feel the pain and weight in my shoulders. I should probably schedule more massages and take better care of my back, shoulders, and neck. But, as many of us are, I am negligent, and find that scheduling a massage is time-consuming. It should not be, but somehow it is. For example, I have a gift certificate I got about 9 months ago and expires in March. Which means I have not had a massage in that amount of time, yet somehow I never get around to scheduling the time to release all the tension in my body.

Every time I get a massage I say I need to do it more often, and yet I still do not. Maybe I should schedule it for Valentine’s Day and go pamper myself. Why not? Right? Do you take the time to pamper yourself? If so, what do you do? Hopefully, it does not just involve chocolate, but something that allows you to truly relax and release the stress in your body. Whether it is on a day-to-day basis at work, after work, or on the weekends. We all have to find a way to release the tightness, heaviness, and stress.

I look forward to “The Level” being for sale again. I think I might actually purchase it.