Kidnapper: And I'm not in the dude business, dude. You either do it, or junky gets killed. Not difficult decision, even for a man stuck in 1960s time warp. It's easy. You grab him and deliver him to warehouse, off Lompoc in Bohan Industrial.

Johnny: And this'll pay off her debts?

Kidnapper: Well... it pays off interest.

Johnny: Wonderful...

Kidnapper: The name of the man we want is Roman Bellic.

Johnny: Yeah.

Kidnapper: He runs a cab business, but hangs around some backroom gambling place on Dillon Street in Schottler.

Johnny: I got it.

Kidnapper: You find him, you take him...Now, run along.

Johnny: Ashley you gotta stop fucking things up... Fuck!

Dialogue

(Johnny leaves Ashley's apartment and calls Malc)

Johnny: Dude, you busy? I got something and I don't need it getting round the clubhouse. I'll owe you, brother.

Malc: What you need Johnny?

Johnny: I need to snatch some guy name of uhh, Roman Bellic. Runs a cab firm, in debt to some Russians. You down? I'll pay.

Malc: Uhh, aight. I'm up on Y in Northwood. See you in a minute.

(Johnny meets Malc in Northwood)

Johnny: Nice rick rocket you got there. It come with a fortune cookie?

Malc: As a matter of face it did. Told me I was gonna meet some 1950s lookin' motherfucker who preferred rusty oil dripping junk to hi-tech precision machinery.

Johnny: Rusty oil dripping American junk.

Malc: Bitch please... your patriotism is making you ignorant. Anyway, we gonna go grab somebody. We need four wheels, I got that.

Johnny: Alright man, but I'm driving the cage.

Malc: Now you sure you know how?

Johnny: Watch and learn my friend. Watch and fuckin' learn.

(If Johnny destroys Malc's bike)

Malc: Oh, shit man. Hell no.

(Johnny and Malc get in the car)

Malc: So, we got a plan, Johnny boy?

Johnny: Of course we've got a plan. We snatch this guy, deliver him to some other guys, then we pay ourselves on the back for doing a great job.

Malc: Sounds simple as shit.

Johnny: If you want Wingit Presentation before every job you do, you're running with the wrong crowd.

Johnny: Sooner you get over there the sooner this will all be over with.

Johnny: Come on. Get back in the car.

Malc: come on, piggly-wiggly. We need some grease or something?

or:

Malc: Squeeze your fat ass in there.

Malc: If it was a box of donuts you'd get your fat ass in there.

Johnny: Squeeze in, fatso.

or:

Johnny: Get in there, you fat fuck.

Johnny: Get in, fat man.

(Johnny and Roman get back in the car)

Johnny: For future reference, Malc, it might be worth locking your hostages into a car.

or:

Johnny: We're lucky that the fat man can't run. Next time, lock the damn hostage up.

Malc: He ain't gonna make a play like that again. Believe that.

or:

Malc: Alright, man. I'll make sure it don't repeat itself.

Malc: I got a leash on him now, don't worry 'bout a thing.

Johnny: You pull a stunt like that again, and it's over for you, bacon ass.

or:

Johnny: Do that again and you're a dead man. A fat dead man.

Johnny: I'll fucking kill you if you run again, fatty.

(If Johnny exits the car)

Malc: Johnny, man, this job was your idea. What are you doing?

Malc: Ummm, Johnny, my dude, we're going to do this or what? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Malc: Where you off to, Johnny boy? We kind of in the middle of something right here, man.

(If Johnny calls Roman's taxi firm)

Roman: Hello, this is Bellic and Bellic Enterprises. What can I assist you with?

Johnny: Is Roman Bellic there?

Roman: Ummm... ahhhh... I... Mr. Bellic is very busy man. An important and busy man. I think he's on a hot date or something. What is it you need from him?

Johnny: We got two college coeds over here and, they're in need of a Limo'. And I'm told this Bellic guy's the man for that kind of work.

Roman: Well, in that case I'll... I mean, ah... We'll try to contact Mr. Bellic and have him come as soon as possible.

(Roman arrives in one of his taxis)

Roman: Ladies, ladies, ladies. You have got yourself the best Limo driver in the whole of Liberty City. I'll take you through the bright lights of Star Junction, past the glamorous shops of Middle Park West, and, if you're lucky, you might end the tour with a look at the finest specimen of manhood in the entire metropolitan area. Wait, where are the ladies? Who are you?