Eh. That sounds hard, and I don’t think it’s really necessary. It’s not like being a legislator is some super complex job we need the best of the best for. Most of the job is voting yes or no on bills as the representative’s district wants (or Obama’s favorite, voting “present,” if yes or no is too hard). You could literally teach a dog to do it, and the dog would probably be more reliable and listen to us better.

But the Constitution says you have to be twenty-five to be a representative and thirty to be a senator, so it’s pretty unlikely you’re going to find dogs that old (what did the Founding Fathers have against dogs?). And since being a legislator is a pretty simple job, it’s not like we need smart, upstanding citizens for it; we’re comfortable with felons doing certain simple jobs, like making license plates and cleaning the sides of roads. The big difference is that we need people to watch over them and for them to understand their place in the scheme of things. The reason we have people like Rangel dodging tax laws and Bob Etheridge shaking kids who ask him questions is that they think they’re above other people, when really the complete opposite is true.

The first thing we need to do, when someone becomes a legislator, is to give him a number, and that’s how we know him. Instead of Representative John Smith, he’s now Representative 24601. And instead of suits, representatives will wear nice assigned jumpsuits; they don’t have to be bright orange, but they should allow us to easily identify these people who plan to spend all our money so we know to be careful around them. And we’ll treat them all just like known mafia members; we don’t have the evidence to send them to prison just yet, but we’ll keep the FBI constantly on their tail and looking because we’re sure they’re up to something.

And to help with that, they’ll all wear ankle bracelets, so we’ll know where they are at all times, and every place they go will be bugged so everyone will know what they’re doing and who they’re talking to and what they’re saying. You want to spend trillions of dollars of other people’s money, the tradeoff is that you lose all rights to privacy … though there will probably have to be some exceptions to that for classified briefings (but is it really wise to be giving these people important classified information?). And if we ever catch a legislator doing anything illegal, he automatically gets double the maximum sentence. They make the laws, so we should hit them even harder if they break them.

It’s pretty simple: We treat all legislators like lying crooks, because they self-identified as such by running for office; normal people don’t desire to spend other people’s money. Right now, being a representative or a senator is a high-paying, prestigious job that any idiot could do (and some exceptional idiots have done it for years), but if there were a few more drawbacks to being a legislator, maybe the worst of them would stay away. And if they don’t, at least maybe they’ll stay in line more if we let them know we consider them to be the worst of the worst and are keeping an eye on them. Then perhaps they’ll listen to those of us who really are supposed to be in charge in this country, the ones who actually work for a living.

This is America: We don’t let tyrants push us around; we push them around. It’s time we remember that.

Frank J. Fleming is the author of the novel Superego and the humor book Punch Your Inner Hippie, has penned numerous political humor columns, blogs at IMAO.us, and is at Home Depot, buying a door

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“And instead of suits, representatives will wear nice assigned jumpsuits; they don’t have to be bright orange, but they should allow us to easily identify these people who plan to spend all our money so we know to be careful around them”

I still say we monitor all their bank ancounts etc. real-effing-time. They, more than ANY PUBLIC SERVANT, have forgone some rights in their assumed capacity – DUH EFFING DUH. The government has NO rights!!! HELLO !!!!! (sorry) It has strict limitations. HAve we lost this??? yes we have. Government jobs are now the cushiest. How did this happen? you tell me (I want krugman to answer).

this shouldn’t be posted but. but when cops tell citizens they, the cops, are the unmonitorable. It’s close to over (rodney king + blank panthers anyone?). but I repeat myself. *to weary to spit*

Believe it or not, fantasy author David Eddings came up with a plan for one of his fictional nations that would probably work fairly well to solve many of these problems.

Simply put, when people become officials of the government, the government seizes their assets and puts them in the national treasury. They’re forbidden to own anything at all while they’re in office. At the end of their term, if the government has made a profit, they get their assets back plus a pro-rated portion of the profit. If the government loses money during their term, a pro-rated portion of their assets are kept by the government. At least in this fictional nation, people didn’t campaign for office… in fact, they did everything they could to avoid being picked. If memory serves (it’s been a while since I read it), when someone is nominated, armed guards are assigned to the nominee–not so much for protection as to keep them from fleeing the nation!

Now, think about it… would the Obamacrats spend so much if that money was coming out of their bank accounts? I seriously doubt it.

Nice try.
But remember that no Congressman, Senator or President is the natural heir of their progenitors, except in the sense as citizen of the USA. However crooked, criminal, whatever kind of schmoozer, socio-psychopath ,each “representative of the people” is CHOSEN by the “self-governing” people who bother to go to the polls to tick the box.
It seems fairly obvious that many of the self-governing don’t care to be self governed, but are happy with being governed, i.e. bossed around by those who like bossing around, especially when there’s no opposition. Again called “representatives of the people”. We USED to call them neighbourhood bullies.

AND especially when those who want to govern them promise and give them the goodies expropriated /stolen from other people who 1. work for their goods, 2. pay the blackmail imposed on them by the governors to bribe those who don’t work for their goods, 3.obey the laws agreed on for civil public life for all the varieties of citizens 4. accept the blarney from the bosses who tell them they’re “working for their benefit”. Trust them., etc etc. 5. are too busy living their lives, working and paying the blackmail to watch like hawks their “servants of the people” and their lying propandists/educators.

The point being that this self-governing population has now for some decades swallowed the poison of the lying propagandists who wanted AND GOT thanks to the self-governing who elected/ chose them to be the people/ gangs they preferred to push them around. By omission and commission this self-governing people have ceded their powers to these criminal socio-psychopaths.Who have set up bulwarks, they call Law, to protect them from the animus of the self-governing once they realise how they have been, HOW THEY HAVE ALLOWED THEMSELVES to be conned by their “elected representatives” in ALL the administrative/ management offices of the government: Congress, Court and Executive.

If the self-governing population believes these lying power obsessed “representatives, also laughingly called the “servants” of the people WHO CONTROL the machinery of the nation, will RETURN power to the owners, the people of the USA,because asked nicely or “voted” against, dream on.
And read your history beginning with 1930s Germany and Russia. (you might like to go back even further to the “Guns of August” which decided the end of the older western empires and their replacement by the new / modern empires no longer national but “international”).

Our government is a mess..and I now know why we cannot post the 10 commandments on gov property
– you cannot post
‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’,
‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ and
‘Thou Shall Not Lie’
in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians,
it creates a hostile work environment.

Pandering and Influence peddaling is a crime last I heard. So what are Lobbyist? How many Camen and Swiss accounts hold Billions of OUR dollars? And for how many years? Dodd is getting out before his accounts are found out. and Frank has his stash of cash, tied to SF gay bath houses.

But I’ve posted for over a year, Oslumus has failed to protect the constitution, as seen in the Commerce clause State fillings against Obamacare. The system of Blue states are falling apart, by the use of state funding to support false SSI and FoodStamp programs. When someone is buying $200.00 of party snacks on foodstamps, it is easy to see. When parents beat their kids in the head at 2 or 3, then claim their kids have conditions to collect SSI and Medicare, is easy to see when you’ve been put into an area of the country, you just wanted to retire at. These same people start teaching gang bang mentality to these same kids as early as 5 and 6.

As unpopular as the Tea Party and Republicans are in my border state town in the South West, my flag has been upside down all year, and this is the first time in 7 years, our home and car has not been vandelized. Funny how the cops have not stopped by to ask why my flag is upside down. They have had no problems waking us at 3a.m. to ask if we seen someone in the past. Drive by bummper stickers for upcoming Republicans are not as destructive as silver gang bang tags on the sides of cars, signs and buildings.

My doctor has already started giving less treatment to SSDI patients, and will not see SSI patients accept in his after hours clinc. His billing for SSDI Medicare patients have been slashed $70.00 per visit. More and more patients are being pushed into Medical MaryJane instead of DEA monitored narcotics. Thanks Oslumus, our country is going to pot, if you can get a part time job, you can’t get health care for another 18 months, and you have failed in your oath of office to Deffend and Protect the Constitution.

The problem with attempting to flush most of congress and replace with capable and honest folks are our clueless, poorly educated voters. A seeming majority of American citizens (particularly those from urban areas) have no concept of history and/or civics and have grown ever more dependent on the “bacon fat” their elected officials trade for votes. In addition, fewer Americans strive for and attain the knowledge and skills that grant them a measure of autonomy and independence from meddling bureaucrats, socialist do-gooders and the trinkets they barter in exchange for citizens’ constitutional liberties. Instead, these sheeple drool as Obongo and his media pets promise them ‘free this’ and ‘free that’, never contemplating for a moment that they have traded their grandchildrens’ wealth and freedom for a few more years (months?) of unearned comfort and ease.

The surest path to riches in this country now is election to Congress. Do that, and you and your descendents will be wealthy beyond imagination.

So the criminal minds who, 30 years ago, would have been attracted to high-level private business crime are now flocking to government ‘service’. The author is correct. We need to think of them as unindicted mafia capos.

Probabaly 75% or more are simply slick gangsters. Another 15% or so are on the edge. Even most who appear honest are simply slicker con artists than the othrers.

Term limits are not enough. 8 or 12 years is still plenty of time to accumulate a fortune by selling out the American public. We need to do most of the following;
- no pensions for elected officials
- all assets put in trusts that can only invest in T-bills while elected
- restrict staffs. 10 for congressmen. 50 for the president.
- lobbying after serving in elected office should be a felony.
- they have to participate in the same health care we all do.
- 100% financial disclosure for the 2 years prior and each year while elected.
- felony offense to hire relatives.
- only let congress meet 50 or 75 days a year.
- accepting bribes should be suject to the death penalty.
- balanced budget amendment
- rescind the 17th amendment
- a new constitutional amendment to recall any federal official. In particular, for president, we now know that 4 years is more than enough time to devastate the country. We have to have the ability to evict them as soon as 1 month into their criminal activities.

The greatest enemy this country faces is our elected officials. Al Queda pales in comparison. The Communist infiltration that has taken over academia and the media isn’t as dangerous. Russia isn’t as dangerous.

Another awesome Essay Frank. My preferred solution would be to just throw them all out and replace them, but the American people are so politically astute and interested in long range planning, that we’d probably end up with the cast of American Idol running the country.

The first thing we need to do is stop calling them by a title. Stop saying Senator and congressman and even stop using the term Mr. President. Call them by Mr. or Mrs. and then their last name. It is a small thing but we need to stop reinforcing the impression that these people are special and different from every other citizen. Look at how the senator what’s her name demanded that the general before her committee address her as senator instead of Ma’am. It has gone to their heads. Take away their titles as a first step.

1. Abolish the use of the word “Congress”. Refer to members of the House of Representatives as “Representative”. Maybe this will remind them of the nature of their job. Senators are still Senators.
2. Increase the size of the House of Representative. The size will not be set at a fixed number. The number of districts will be calculated by dividing entire population of the US by 1/2 the population the smallest state. Each congressional district will contain no more than 1/2 the population of the least populous state. This means that every state will have at least two Representatives.
3. Close all Congressional offices in the District of Columbia. Transfer ownership of these buildings to the Smithsonian.
4. Set up one office per Representative in each district. All offices will located on street level, in storefronts with large glass windows. The office will have no interior walls. If desired, the Representative will have a cubicle no larger that 4′x 8′, with walls under 4′ high. Senators can simply work from home.
5. All congressional business will be conducted via video teleconferencing. The US Capitol building will be designated as a national park and maintained as a museum. 25 offices within the Capitol will be converted to 4 bed dormitory rooms.
6. For ceremonial occasions, such as inaugurations and presidential addresses to congress, each state will send two representatives. The selection of these representatives will be at the discretion of the individual state legislatures. While attending these events, the Representatives and Senators will stay in Capitol dormitory.
7. Term limits will be imposed and these limits will extend to relatives.

The desire to serve in public office should be exactly the same as the desire to serve on a Jury. The compensation for serving in public office should also match that given to members of a jury. In a rational world, people would produce notes from their boss to keep them from being elected in the first place, because they “have something better to do”. Forget debates, we should have a community version of “Voir Dire” to exclude the truly insane from the public service pool.

Public office should not be thought of as a chance to get wealthy or a place where the very best weaselly lawyers go to die. Its a community service, which in the spectrum of “public good” should come in somewhere between elementary school recess monitors and the guy who volunteers to plow the roads in the winter.

I have some questions, why do the tea party people think they all they have to do is go to the polls and vote? Don’t they know there’s only one way to fix our broken government and, that would be a nuclear detonation during a state of the union speech complete with a mushroom cloud and everything. No racism, sexism or, homophobia here let God sort them out. Of course nothing like that would ever happen because Al-Qaeda would wind-up killing too many of its friends.

1. Draft our representatives and senators (random selection).
2. Build a barracks for them in Washington, DC.
3. Build a cafeteria near the barracks.
4. Pay them jury member rates.
5. No retirement pay or other benefits.
6. Travel pay twice per year to home district.

This is EXACTLY what I have been thinking for years. Have a lottery (although the analogy of the jury summons is probably more accurate), treat them like members of a jury (no interaction with anyone who is not “on the jury”)(lobbyists), pay them a living wage, house them in standard condos, feed them from a cafeteria, then send them home when their one year session is over.

Wish I could remember the article but someone did an analysis that showed quantitatively that even a lowly County Supervisor in California had more power and influence than Bill Gates. This was based on the amount of money they controlled and earmarked, the number of people who were constantly beholden to them, the economic impact on others of their whims, ideas and decisions, etc. So it is no wonder that political office is so sought after for all the wrong reasons.

Small government and a demanding – not a fawning – constituency is the only answer.

After my recent mamogram, I strongly believe that if a man wants to run for any political office, he should get a penisgram!(too bad it was never used on Bill Clinton) and It wouldn’t work on Obama since he has no Cojones!!!

What we should do is deduct dollar for dollar out of the Congressmen and Senators pay checks till they find and replace all the money, they can not account for! All so do not give them their per diem monies or pay their staffers until all monies are accounted for and replaced if missed used!Why should a civilian representative get a comfortably and free ride on military aircraft. When are military personal, in the field has to fly in cramped conditions on military planes or economy when coming out of a war zone!

When I was a child there were those among us who always had to be in charge and tried to control what we played and what rules we would follow. We called them “bossy” and always resented them. I used to wonder what happened to them until one day it dawned on me that they had become politicians and lawyers. I think that was the day I realized that I was a libertarian. I resented those children then for bossing me around and I resent those children today who try to boss me around under the guise of legislating “for my own good”.

Have some self respect. This is the worst Congress in our history but it is the launchpad, I hope, for an American revival and new appreciation for our system of government and its proper role in our lives.

The whole point of our system is that we must respect the winners of contests for election. Tear down that respect, as this article does in abundance, and the entire institution suffers. Hate the officeholder but love the office. Congress is an original gift of the Founders and the long parade of whores, drunks and spendthrifts does not change the glory of the nation that prevails DESPITE our leaders.

Each Federal legislator spends about $18 million per DAY of other people’s money. Can you imagine doling out that kind of cash in the private sector and being treated the way we treat our Congressmen? Do you think the Purchasing VP at Caterpillar openly abuses half the customers, has bridges named after him, and is totally expected to steal whatever money he doesn’t siphon off to his buddies?

You are completely correct, it is time to change how we treat these people. They are our employees, but as you point out, it is much more than that.

Well some good ideas so far. I’m going to be original and ste…,uh suggest that shock collars of the appropriate power be installed, honest that is my original idea, really, have I ever lied to you….in the last ten minutes?
The problem is who and at what instances do the shock collars get triggered? Could it be rigged so that every time a politician appears on a camera and gets less than a 50% approval rating, the politician will get juiced via the TV remote? How to work it for delayed views on cable and the Internet. It might be awkward if the politician was receiving a foreign dignitary….but then again, it might be all for the good?

Th real problem with the republic, as formulated by the founders, is that the Federal government is in charge of determining what is Constitutional or not. Admittedly, this probably wasn’t the original plan, but Chief Justice Marshall seized power early on. It’s like putting the fox in charge of guarding the hen house.

The only realistic alternative I see is for states to simply ignore the dictates of the Federal government (some call this nullification). It is a tactic that has worked in the past (the tariff laws and the reaction to the Fugitive Slave Law come to mind), and it will work now. The big problem is that the Feds have most of the states sucking Federal dollars. so a state will have to be bold, which is difficult for state officials to do.

(A simple solution that will never work.) Never, ever, ever, ever vote for an incumbent and tell everyone you know to follow the same strategy. Sure you have to vote for people you don’t like, but hell, we do that all the time anyway. Besides, you’ll only have to vote for them once.

It is said that a lot of the corruption in Congress is caused by the high cost of living in DC as well as having to maintain a home in their districts/states. Well I have a ‘Modest Proposal’. Let them live in government housing. Some nice high-rise inner city blocks for house members(corner units for committee chairs, and penthouse for the speaker). Senators would live in town houses with end units assigned by seniority. This facility could be located close to Capitol Hill in SE DC. The land there is quite reasonable for the area. A dedicated bus service from the compound to Capital Hill would also reduce expenses for our poor underpaid public servants. I am sure this measure to cut expenses will greatly benefit the fight to help our Congress be the best that money can buy.

Why doesn’t the doctrine of separation of powers prevent lawyers from serving as Congressmen or President? They already have exclusive representation in one branch government- the judicial. They should be prevented from serving on the others. It is no wonder every problem is “solved” with a new law when the only voices at the table are lawyers- it’s all they know.

I’m not advocating assassination, mind you, but a real hunting season. It would be legally constituted, with licenses, seasons and bag limits, all administered by Fish & Game. Like other species that have environmental utility, we don’t want to drive them to extinction, just control them. So we can have a hunting season. Bearing Mark Twain’s comment in mind, when legislature is in session, the season is open.

Just think of all the market opportunities in guide services, specialized camouflage, accessories, and gizmos. It would take a whole new floor at Bass Pro, and would be great for the economy. I have a line of Congressman Lure, called “Scent of Money.”

It began as an attempt to insult my congressman, When I sent e-mails or attended any meetings he held I made a point of addressing him as Representative, rather than congressman. He finally took the bait, the aide bringing the micro-phone requested that I address him as Congressman, I jumped on him like a bass on a june-bug. In a calm voice I repeated what his aide had requested, followed by, In all due respect may I remind you sir that you are the elected representative from our district to the Congress of the United States, you are no the Congress. The founders warned against the dangers of an aristocracy. We do not have elitest aristocrates governing us, we have by consent elected you to be our representative, so if you do not mind I choose to call you by your appropriate job title, Representative. I recieved a standing ovation from the people in attendence, a very red faced representative acknowledged that being called representative was an appropriate way to address him. From that point on every person who raised a question call him Representative.

Nice! (And I liked the reference to 24601… except that Jean Valjean was one of the good guys.)

How about a combined approach? Give each of them the SAME serial number. We’ll call them by their first names, in the event that they actually do something positive to set them apart. (Which serial number? The one Al Capone used could be recycled.)

How about we treat their pensions like the ones they’ve given us, or better yet, give them lower priority. It is absurd to give such a small group of people the power to sign our names to debts greater than all they own or will ever earn. That has always been the allure of tyranny for the tyrant, the power to tax the people to pay for your own projects, and the power to borrow money on the security of future tax revenues just kicks it up a notch.

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, . . .

The Declaration of Independence in American, by H. L. Mencken

“WHEN things get so balled up that the people of a country got to cut loose from some other country, and go it on their own hook, without asking no permission from nobody, excepting maybe God Almighty, then they ought to let everybody know why they done it, so that everybody can see they are not trying to put nothing over on nobody.

. . . But when things get so bad that a man ain’t hardly got no rights at all no more, but you might almost call him a slave, then everybody ought to get together and throw the grafters out, and put in new ones who won’t carry on so high and steal so much, and then watch them.”

There is one simple way to change things radically in Congress and the Senate. That is: a more strict interpretation of separation of powers. Lawyers are members of the Bar and as such are a subset of the Judiciary. Therefore, according to separation of powers (and a common-sense application of conflict-of-interest) lawyers should not be the people to write the laws. Admission to the Bar should be automatic disqualification from holding political office (at any level).