Mood ring ‘warns men of impending pre-menstrual women’

An inventor has created the world’s first mood ring that warns men that their lady’s time of the month is approaching.

Jimmy Fiddlefingers is hoping to patent the product and sell it worldwide.

He told GrumpyFuckers:

“I have a lot of male friends who come to me in tears every few weeks because their girlfriend or wife has gone off on one because it’s her time of the month. I thought they could all do with a helping hand so I invented this ring that the woman wears on her hand and the alternating colours give the signal to the men whether their partner is in an approachable mood. If the woman is not approachable, it is advised that the lads stay well out of her way – probably best to go down the pub at that point.”

The mood ring has gone on sale for Christmas. Shopper Emma Hardfist said:

“I love my new ring. When I’m in a good mood, it gives off a lovely green glow. When I’m due on, it leaves a big red mark IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FUCKING FACE.”