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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

Another air freshener fracas

“My supervisor posted this notice in the ladies’ restroom in the lobby of our office,” says our submitter in Louisiana, “but it was directed solely at me.” (One of the more vocal anti-air freshener employees on staff, our submitter’s desk happens to be located immediately outside the restroom.)

Despite the fact that, as our submitter put it, “that Summer Breeze crap smells like a giant migraine,” her boss declared that “Lemon Peel is a ‘masculine scent’ more suited for the men’s room.” Adds our submitter: “I still haven’t figured out the identities of all these people who are lamenting the absence of the Summer Breeze.”

Honestly? Citris is clearly a unisex scent. So are woodsy, spicy, or herbal scents. The only truly “masculine” scents out there are some musks and the ones that smell like leather. Floral and sweet scents are feminine.

Some musks are feminine or unisex. Depends on the musk and how it is mixed with other scents. I’m totally with you on florals (female too, btw). The rare times I wear a scent, I always use a woodsy or spicy essential oil.

She’s right — it does smell like a migraine. People don’t realize how easily some things trigger migraines (and the asthmatic coughing I would be doing that would ruin everyone’s peaceful environment).

Sometimes I would like to have the power to transfer my migraine to someone who’s never had one — just for like 3 minutes or so. Enough time for them to start begging for their mommy and bargaining with God to make it stop. That would be cool.

Yes, but it has to start off with an aura first. Make them watch the world go all Piccaso on their asses or better yet lose half of their sight completely. Then the 3 minutes of head pain and they can spend the rest of the day feeling tired and confused.

If the bathroom stinks, they should have it cleaned more often, not cover up the stink with air fresheners. Most of the time it just smells like crap + whatever scent they’re using, which is often worse than the scent of crap alone.

I don’t even have much of a sense of smell, let alone any allergies to scents, and the smell of AXE and other body sprays/colognes like it just WALLOPS me. Like knock me flat on my butt.

I have a 10 year old son who likes to play at being a grown-up man, and who used his allowance to purchase a small can of I think it was the “Old Spice” brand body spray. He and his friend went nuts with it one day, and I couldn’t approach his room for hours. Seriously, this stuff is like an industrial accident.

Luckily (since I’m a female) he believed me when I told him girls don’t want to smell him from 50 yards away and he has since lost interest (for now).

I for one hate the smell of Axe Body Spray, but I LOVE the blue Axe bodywash. If they make a feminine-branded menthol-mint scent, then I’d get that, but until then I just get strange looks buying Axe for myself

@NumismaticNerd The checkout person will never know who you’re buying it for. I buy Axe shower gel and shampoo all the time for my husband and I’m sure I’m not the only wife or girlfriend that does so.

I used to work in retail and one section of the store sold scents – male colognes, female perfumes. I mostly preferred the male scents (leaning towards the citrus, but not always), and often wore them (from testers and so on). I remember going into a fast food joint with a male colleague. The cashier complimented him on his good smelling aftershave, or whatever it was.
“But, I’m not wearing any. . .”
I didn’t mind owning up. I smelt goood! I don’t know that I was her type though.

Part of the problem may indeed be a lack of a vent. Going to harken back to 9/13′s “Couplets for the Commode” (the workplace ode to The Courtesy Flush that rhymes “women” with “swim’in”) – in addition to the apparently rampant “remnant” issue in Nassau County gov’t bathrooms, many do not have a vent at all. The solution, of course, is to spray noxious fumes over the noxious fumes in tandem with posting really horrible caca themed rhymes.

It’s not a default for one-holers? Every place I’ve worked (and at home) that has had a one-pot bathroom has an exhaust fan.

The one at work now is a big ol’ place. It doesn’t have a fan, but at the same time you’d have to try hard to stink it up. I was going off the assumption that places with air freshner in the bathroom would have smaller bathrooms and thus exhaust fans.

Bitch, sounds like you’re lucky to even have a job. Just remember, that summer breeze shit is completely replaceable. So are you. Put the stupid air freshener back and be glad you all you have to do for your job is sit at a fucking desk.

@Me – Terry is clearly unemployed and thinks that having brain exploding migraine headaches is a small price to pay for employment. sarcasm: Because of course employers should be able to put employees through unnecessary pain every time unemployment goes up. /sarcasm

While they may not be a direct carcinogen, air fresheners are actually bad for your health – they contain many of the same particles you might find in a smog cloud, and no one with any sense dismisses smog as harmless.

And if you have ever had a genuine migraine, you would understand that you would rather eat feces than voluntarily go through that again. Migraines are one of the most painful things a human who hasn’t been crushed or impaled in some way can go through.

A truly masculine scent will always be an odoriferous interlude featuring a Beef and Bean Burrito delicately scented with Broccoli, with a slight aftertaste of Cheeto’s and beer, harmoniously intertwined with the scent of sour cream and onion dip and pork rinds

We have a small bathroom near my work area, and my boss will stink it up in there and then make it worse by spraying horrendous amounts of air freshener. I finally put a sticky label on the spray can and wrote “please use sparingly.” She asked who put the label on there.

“I did. If I can smell it from my desk, you’ve used too much.”

She still uses it.

Having work with MANY women over the years… no one stinks up a bathroom like 50+yo overweight women. Their diets suck.

as someone who gets migraines from strong floral/perfumey scents, i can completely understand where submitter is coming from. i would throw that crap away every time it shows up in the bathroom. she can actually go to HR about the smell and force the manager to never put those kinds of scents in there ever again.

Some odor neutralizers work pretty well. They can also get those things that auto-spray an air freshener so that there’s only a small spray every 36 minutes instead of 1/4 of a can every time someone uses the bathroom.

Way to generalize and stigmatize. You can’t possibly know a person’s state of health just by looking at them, gauging their weight, or by the stink that comes from the bathroom.

My 5 month old nephew has a diet of strictly breast-milk and his poop stinks like a grown man. Most meat-eating people generally have poop that stinks more than our vegetarian or vegan friends. I don’t know which category you fall into, but I’m pretty sure that whatever comes out of your ass doesn’t smell like strawberries and cake.

Personally speaking, chemical-based air fresheners scare me because of their potential to do neurological damage. If I know I’m gonna be taking a dump in a public restroom, particularly at the office, then I’m all for “pity flushing” to help remove the offending stink before it has time to settle in the bowl.

Can someone explain to me how flushing multiple times removes airborne fumes? Am I supposed to believe the majority of toilets will swirl water around at such a rate of speed as to create a vortex capable of sucking odors into the netherworld?
I find the multi-flush position liquid-ist. Harumph.

I would think any air freshener sold under the Staples brand would be pretty rank. On the other hand, the submitter, whose desk is just outside the restroom, should be glad the restroom patrons are at least using something.

Eda, I do not suffer migraines. May I ask if the scent/odor/smell of another person’s shit is more acceptable? Seems to me that if you sit close enough to the restrooms to smell the air freshener, you sit close enough to smell the air that needs freshening. Pick your poison.

The thing is, air “freshener” doesn’t take away odours, it just adds more. The smell of shit is not pleasant, but the smell of shit PLUS smelly chemicals is worse. And in the case of air “fresheners” permanently hanging in the loo, the smell of intense chemical fake flowers is constant, whereas the smell of shit presumably is not.

Sorry, but I’d rather smell artificial flowers all day, than pure shit or chemically masked shit even part of the day. If you sit near a restroom, you’re going to smell the restroom sometimes.

Fact is, you’d get more complaints about shit and old urine smell if there were no air fresheners than you get for air freshener smells simply because the vast majority of people can actually handle the scent of an air freshener with no ill effects, but NO ONE wants to smell old urine and/or shit…EVER!!

@ Canthz B: It’s not necessarily that either odor is more acceptable, they’re both unpleasant. As someone who suffers from this problem myself, I’ve been in situations like this where, it’s not really as cut-and-dry as everyone likes to think. For some people its worse than others, depending on varying health factors, like asthma, or breathing problems in general, as well as chemical sensitivities. I’m one of those people that can’t even walk down the air freshener aisle at WalMart without feeling like I’m about to pass out. And not only that, in 2004 a study was done actually VERIFYING that most of the air fresheners on the market at this time contain what at least 14 countries deem to be “unsafe” amounts of pthalates which can cause negative effects in both male, and female reproductive systems. Just read the extra credit link provided by PAN. And imho, I’d rather smell someones fart for 30 seconds than have to feel like I’m slowly choking and dying until the 6lbs of air freshener wafting out of the bathroom dissipates. All in all, it really comes down to personal preferences unfortunately. The point that I’m trying to make, however; is that I appreciate the fact that my previous workplace made an effort to keep this problem in check, and I was literally THE ONLY ONE who had an issue with it out of almost 200 employees. Take that, Terry. lol. I find certain fresheners less offensive than others, but they’re all pretty terrible. I mean, c’mon. Do YOU even like the way they smell? Or do you just like it better than somebody’s smelly feet/a**. More importantly, the total lack of WINDOWS in any of these situations leaves way too much to be desired. That would solve the whole issue in its self.

ps. Exhaust fans are fairly inexpensive, last time I checked at work you could buy one for less than 100$ CAN. Installation is beyond easy if you know what you’re looking at. Problem solved.

I like some and put up with others. Most people (the vast majority) can handle such things with no ill effects.
You’re one of those people who make everyone else at your place of employment not wear scented deodorant or the slighted bit of cologne or perfume denying them a small piece of one of life’s simple pleasures.

Exhaust fans use electricity. Electricity costs money. Generating electricity most often creates pollution. Installing millions of bathroom fans so you don’t have to smell air fresheners?