Apparently a squirrel can remember over 90% of the nuts it hides for the winter. I'd give it a +2 or +4 on search checks to forage for food, personally.

gurgleflep

2013-05-28, 02:48 AM

Maybe a reduced fall damage, too? The ones I see in my backyard are a bit mental and like jumping from as high up as they can to the ground, just to repeat the process.

LordErebus12

2013-05-28, 03:02 AM

Maybe a reduced fall damage, too? The ones I see in my backyard are a bit mental and like jumping from as high up as they can to the ground, just to repeat the process.

well between a windbreak for a tail and an extremely light body, yeah. perhaps they can fall from 30 ft. without damage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blR9ePALoAA

tommhans

2013-06-04, 07:18 AM

my players asked for a laser beam flying squirrel so i kinda have to give it to them , i use the dand wiki's version of squirrel, add the wizards laser thing from dnd next(yeah this is for dnd next btw) and then add 50feet fly or something, would be cool with a monthy python style on it ;P) this is for a side quest of the story, as one of the main characters of the story couldnt join this week's session so yeah have to think of something awesome for the others meanwhile ^^
:smallbiggrin:

You create six rays of fire and light. Choose up to six creatures within 100 feet of you and divide the number of rays between the targets as you wish. A target must make a Dexterity saving throw for each ray that targets it. On each failed saving throw, the target takes 1d6 fire damage.

These guys are in level 8 soon level 9, even without their tank this session they should do fine :p have a ranger that has 19 in ac somehow so guess she has to be the one to get the damage :P

But yeah does that sound ok? :P i mean the other homebrewed animals ive made usually are ok, except the ones i made for the humans on the go, most of them are actually more intelligent than them xD but im on a learning curve, started 1-2 months ago as dm so fairly new still, but its fun :9 trying to bring in elements the players themselves want

Debihuman

2013-06-04, 09:08 AM

First: how did the squirrel get a laser beam?

Second: it has a ridiculous number of hit points. Generally, a tiny animal would never have 150 hit points, even if you made it a paragon creature of legend squirrel. See my paragon cat of legend as an example. Even that is ridiculous but it at least follows the rules.

Foraging for food would be Survival skill.

Debby

Xeratos

2013-06-04, 09:41 AM

Looking at the original link, it lists the squirrel's CR as 1/8th. So, that means that 8 squirrels is considered a decent challenge to a party of 4 first level adventurers? This is going into the next campaign I run. Their 1d3-4 damage bites will be the bane off the party's existence.

backpackjack

2013-06-04, 01:42 PM

Squirrels should also have a really good Hide skill bonus.

Debihuman

2013-06-04, 05:18 PM

Just by virtue of being Tiny, squirrels have a +8 size bonus to Hide. That bonus increases if the squirrel is Diminutive.

These docile rodents thrive in temperate woods, where they eat mostly nuts, berries, and small insects.

Combat

Squirrels are extremely timid and run at the first sight of danger, biting only when cornered.

Skills: Squirrels have a +8 bonus racial bonus on Balance and Climb checks. A squirrel can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened. A squirrel uses its Dexterity modifier for Climb checks.

Squirrels As Familiars
A squirrel may be selected as a familiar. It grants its master a +3 bonus on Climb checks.

Glide (Ex): A flying squirrel can glide from any height at a speed of 20 feet per round in moderate or lower winds, descending at a rate of 10 feet per round.

Skills: Flying squirrels have a +8 racial bonus on Balance, Climb, and Jump checks. A flying squirrel can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened. A flying squirrel uses its Dexterity modifier for Climb and Jump checks.

Flying Squirrels As Familiars
A flying squirrel may be selected as a familiar. It grants its master a +3 bonus on Jump checks.

The massive beast before you stands at a whopping 9 ½ ft. tall, covered in dark brown fur. Two of its massive and razor sharp teeth glint with saliva. Its powerful tail is pointed upwards, and the fur shags out in all directions, even more than the fur on the rest of the beast’s body.
Giant Squirrels speak Sylvan

Combat

Attach (Ex): If a giant squirrel hits with a bite attack, it uses its powerful jaws to latch onto the opponent’s body and automatically deals bite damage each round it remains attached. An attached giant squirrel loses its Dexterity bonus to Armor Class and has an AC of 15.

An attached giant squirrel can be struck with a weapon or grappled itself. To remove an attached giant squirrel through grappling, the opponent must achieve a pin against the creature.

Skills: giant squirrels have a +4 racial bonus on Move Silently checks and a +8 racial bonus on Balance and Climb checks. A giant squirrel can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened.

Giant Squirrels as Characters
Although unusual, a giant squirrel would make a good scout, fighter, or barbarian. Their powerful jaws give them an edge not afforded to most other large creatures.

Attach (Ex): If a weresquirrel hits with a bite attack, it uses its powerful jaws to latch onto the opponent’s body and automatically deals bite damage each round it remains attached. An attached weresquirrel loses its Dexterity bonus to Armor Class and has an AC of 15.

An attached weresquirrel can be struck with a weapon or grappled itself. To remove an attached giant squirrel through grappling, the opponent must achieve a pin against the creature.
This ability applies in Hybrid form as well.

Alternate Form (Su): In addition to their humanoid form Weresquirrels can assume the form of a squirrel and that of a hybrid between the two. While in Squirrel or Hybrid form the Base character gains the following ability score modifiers: Str -8, Dex +6,Con +2.

Damage Reduction (Ex): A Weresquirrel in animal or hybrid form gains damage reduction 5/silver if afflicted, and 10/silver if natural.

Lycanthropic Empathy (Ex): any form, a weresquirrel can communicate and empathize with normal or dire squirrels. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animal’s attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, sich as “friend”, “foe”, “flee”, and “attack”.

Low Light Vision: A weresquirrel has low light vision in any form

Scent: A weresquirrel has the scent ability in any form.

Base Save Bonuses: Add +2 Fortitude, +2 Reflex,

Abilities: +2 to Wisdom.

Curse of Lycanthropy (Su): A humanoid or giant hit by a weresquirrel’s bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract Lycanthropy. If the victim is not within 1 size category of the lycanthrope, they cannot contract lycanthropy from that lycanthrope.

See the Monster Manual 3.5 for more information on the Lycanthrope template.

+2 Natural Armor in all forms

Level Adjust: A weresquirrel has a Level Adjustment of +2 if a natural lycanthrope, or +1 otherwise.

*Note: A Weresquirrel's Hit dice are small enough that they do not add additional levels /Hit Dice (or hit points) to the player character.

A dire squirrel is a carnivorous and primitive form of squirrel. It is dangerous even to humans, for though it is usually content to ignore them, it will attack if hungry or molested.

A dire squirrel has a matted and tangled coat of fur. Its bushy tail seems ragged and unkempt. It often stuffs its cheeks with rocks to throw. A dire squirrel is usually about 3’ long with another 3’ of puffy tail. A dire squirrel usually weighs around 60 lbs.

Combat

When aggravated, dire squirrels prefer to climb high in a tree and pelt enemies with rocks (range increment 20 ft.). If cornered or unable to flee a dire squirrel will defend itself with its bite.

Cheek-Pouches (Ex): A dire squirrel can stuff each of its cheeks with up to one cubic foot of material.

Skills: A dire squirrel gets a +8 bonus to Climb checks and can take ten on Climb checks even if rushed or threatened. It uses its Dexterity bonus rather than its Strength bonus on Climb checks.

Adventure Ideas: While the PCs sleep in an ancient forest, a dire squirrel steals a very valuable and delicate object from them, stuffing it in its cheek-pouches, and it must be retrieved delicately or it will break. A nuisance of dire squirrels guards the entrance to an enclave of primitive elves who have the only antidote to a deadly poison. A gnome druid prefers the company of squirrels of all types and sizes.

Before you is the largest squirrel you’ve ever seen. Its body must be forty feet long and its bushy tail spreads out behind it like a small forest. It chitters loudly, puffing its gigantic cheeks out.

A megalosquirrel is a rare creature. They are usually only found in areas full of megafauna overrun with huge predators. Megalosquirrels feed on just about everything, from man-sized morsels of meat to delicate treetops. They tend to stuff interesting things in their cheeks, and this is where any treasure it might have will typically be. Megalosquirrels love to play with shiny objects.

Combat

A megalosquirrel will usually try to stuff anything interesting or dangerous into its cheeks, hopefully neutralizing it for later examination. If battle opens at a distance, the megalosquirrel will happily pelt its enemies with rocks.

Improved Grab (Ex): When the megalosquirrel hits an enemy two or more sizes smaller than itself with its bite attack, the megalosquirrel may make a grapple check without provoking an attack of opportunity or making a touch attack. If the megalosquirrel gets a hold, it may immediately make another opposed grapple check to try to stuff the victim in its cheeks.

Cheek-Stuff (Ex): A creature stuffed in the megalosquirrel’s cheek is considered grappled, but the megalosquirrel is not. The victim may attempt an opposed grapple check to get free on its turn each round; she’s stuffed in pretty tightly, and usually being squished against a significant mass of debris. Therefore attacking the megalosquirrel’s cheek is only possible with a natural bite attack or a light weapon already in hand. A successful opposed grapple check will allow a trapped creature to draw a light weapon as a full-round action. A creature within the megalosquirrel’s cheek suffers 1d6+5 points of nonlethal damage each round and must hold its breath or start to suffocate in 1d4 rounds. If the victim is rendered unconscious he begins suffering 1d6+5 points of lethal damage each round instead.

Cheek Pouches (Ex): A megalosquirrel has two cheek pouches, and each can hold one large, two medium, four small or sixteen tiny or smaller creatures or an equivalent volume of nonliving matter (about 3500 cubic feet).

Skills: A megalosquirrel has a +8 racial bonus to Climb checks and can take 10 on Climb checks even while distracted or threatened.

"Cute doesn't mean harmless," Teresa warned. Timmon ignored her and reached out to pet the squirrel. She smiled at his screams of pain from the bite.

You summon 1d10 squirrels / level into the area of effect, up to 10d10. This swarm somehow manages to deal 1 point of damage for each 5 squirrels attacking, and you may divide the squirrels as you see fit among the creatures you want attacked in the area of effect. Creatures with natural armor may count their natural armor bonus as DR against the attacks of this mob of squirrels, and a creature with a +5 natural AC bonus or greater is immune to this attack. That said, those swarmed by squirrels still need to make a concentration check DC 10+ 1 per 5 squirrels attacking them to cast any spell.

Material Component: A sack of nuts, preferably acorns.

Reminder: Squirrels have the same stats as rats from the MM except that they have a climb speed of 30 feet.

Whenever you are wounded a squirrel is formed for every 4 hit points you lose (and it has hit points equal to your loss, up to 4). The squirrels created by this spell are under your control and will attack whomever you designate fearlessly, though if they are not enhanced the usefulness of their attacks is dubious (they can flank a foe for you though). The squirrels created by this spell remain permanently, ending the spell prematurely only breaks your control over them.

This spell summons a single squirrel who attacks your enemies (though it's usefulness in this capacity is dubious). It appears where you designate and acts immediately, on your turn. It attacks your opponents to the best of its ablity. If you can communicate with the squirrel, you can direct it not to attack, to attack particular enemies, or to perform other actions. Summoned creatures act normally on the last round of the spell and disappear at the end of their turn.
Material Component: An acorn.

These docile rodents thrive in temperate woods, where they eat mostly nuts, berries, and small insects.

Combat

Squirrels are extremely timid and run at the first sight of danger, biting only when cornered.

Skills: Squirrels have a +8 bonus racial bonus on Balance and Climb checks. A squirrel can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened. A squirrel uses its Dexterity modifier for Climb checks.

Squirrels As Familiars
A squirrel may be selected as a familiar. It grants its master a +3 bonus on Climb checks.

Glide (Ex): A flying squirrel can glide from any height at a speed of 20 feet per round in moderate or lower winds, descending at a rate of 10 feet per round.

Skills: Flying squirrels have a +8 racial bonus on Balance, Climb, and Jump checks. A flying squirrel can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened. A flying squirrel uses its Dexterity modifier for Climb and Jump checks.

Flying Squirrels As Familiars
A flying squirrel may be selected as a familiar. It grants its master a +3 bonus on Jump checks.

The massive beast before you stands at a whopping 9 ½ ft. tall, covered in dark brown fur. Two of its massive and razor sharp teeth glint with saliva. Its powerful tail is pointed upwards, and the fur shags out in all directions, even more than the fur on the rest of the beast’s body.
Giant Squirrels speak Sylvan

Combat

Attach (Ex): If a giant squirrel hits with a bite attack, it uses its powerful jaws to latch onto the opponent’s body and automatically deals bite damage each round it remains attached. An attached giant squirrel loses its Dexterity bonus to Armor Class and has an AC of 15.

An attached giant squirrel can be struck with a weapon or grappled itself. To remove an attached giant squirrel through grappling, the opponent must achieve a pin against the creature.

Skills: giant squirrels have a +4 racial bonus on Move Silently checks and a +8 racial bonus on Balance and Climb checks. A giant squirrel can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened.

Giant Squirrels as Characters
Although unusual, a giant squirrel would make a good scout, fighter, or barbarian. Their powerful jaws give them an edge not afforded to most other large creatures.

Attach (Ex): If a weresquirrel hits with a bite attack, it uses its powerful jaws to latch onto the opponent’s body and automatically deals bite damage each round it remains attached. An attached weresquirrel loses its Dexterity bonus to Armor Class and has an AC of 15.

An attached weresquirrel can be struck with a weapon or grappled itself. To remove an attached giant squirrel through grappling, the opponent must achieve a pin against the creature.
This ability applies in Hybrid form as well.

Alternate Form (Su): In addition to their humanoid form Weresquirrels can assume the form of a squirrel and that of a hybrid between the two. While in Squirrel or Hybrid form the Base character gains the following ability score modifiers: Str -8, Dex +6,Con +2.

Damage Reduction (Ex): A Weresquirrel in animal or hybrid form gains damage reduction 5/silver if afflicted, and 10/silver if natural.

Lycanthropic Empathy (Ex): any form, a weresquirrel can communicate and empathize with normal or dire squirrels. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animal’s attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, sich as “friend”, “foe”, “flee”, and “attack”.

Low Light Vision: A weresquirrel has low light vision in any form

Scent: A weresquirrel has the scent ability in any form.

Base Save Bonuses: Add +2 Fortitude, +2 Reflex,

Abilities: +2 to Wisdom.

Curse of Lycanthropy (Su): A humanoid or giant hit by a weresquirrel’s bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract Lycanthropy. If the victim is not within 1 size category of the lycanthrope, they cannot contract lycanthropy from that lycanthrope.

See the Monster Manual 3.5 for more information on the Lycanthrope template.

+2 Natural Armor in all forms

Level Adjust: A weresquirrel has a Level Adjustment of +2 if a natural lycanthrope, or +1 otherwise.

*Note: A Weresquirrel's Hit dice are small enough that they do not add additional levels /Hit Dice (or hit points) to the player character.

A dire squirrel is a carnivorous and primitive form of squirrel. It is dangerous even to humans, for though it is usually content to ignore them, it will attack if hungry or molested.

A dire squirrel has a matted and tangled coat of fur. Its bushy tail seems ragged and unkempt. It often stuffs its cheeks with rocks to throw. A dire squirrel is usually about 3’ long with another 3’ of puffy tail. A dire squirrel usually weighs around 60 lbs.

Combat

When aggravated, dire squirrels prefer to climb high in a tree and pelt enemies with rocks (range increment 20 ft.). If cornered or unable to flee a dire squirrel will defend itself with its bite.

Cheek-Pouches (Ex): A dire squirrel can stuff each of its cheeks with up to one cubic foot of material.

Skills: A dire squirrel gets a +8 bonus to Climb checks and can take ten on Climb checks even if rushed or threatened. It uses its Dexterity bonus rather than its Strength bonus on Climb checks.

Adventure Ideas: While the PCs sleep in an ancient forest, a dire squirrel steals a very valuable and delicate object from them, stuffing it in its cheek-pouches, and it must be retrieved delicately or it will break. A nuisance of dire squirrels guards the entrance to an enclave of primitive elves who have the only antidote to a deadly poison. A gnome druid prefers the company of squirrels of all types and sizes.

Before you is the largest squirrel you’ve ever seen. Its body must be forty feet long and its bushy tail spreads out behind it like a small forest. It chitters loudly, puffing its gigantic cheeks out.

A megalosquirrel is a rare creature. They are usually only found in areas full of megafauna overrun with huge predators. Megalosquirrels feed on just about everything, from man-sized morsels of meat to delicate treetops. They tend to stuff interesting things in their cheeks, and this is where any treasure it might have will typically be. Megalosquirrels love to play with shiny objects.

Combat

A megalosquirrel will usually try to stuff anything interesting or dangerous into its cheeks, hopefully neutralizing it for later examination. If battle opens at a distance, the megalosquirrel will happily pelt its enemies with rocks.

Improved Grab (Ex): When the megalosquirrel hits an enemy two or more sizes smaller than itself with its bite attack, the megalosquirrel may make a grapple check without provoking an attack of opportunity or making a touch attack. If the megalosquirrel gets a hold, it may immediately make another opposed grapple check to try to stuff the victim in its cheeks.

Cheek-Stuff (Ex): A creature stuffed in the megalosquirrel’s cheek is considered grappled, but the megalosquirrel is not. The victim may attempt an opposed grapple check to get free on its turn each round; she’s stuffed in pretty tightly, and usually being squished against a significant mass of debris. Therefore attacking the megalosquirrel’s cheek is only possible with a natural bite attack or a light weapon already in hand. A successful opposed grapple check will allow a trapped creature to draw a light weapon as a full-round action. A creature within the megalosquirrel’s cheek suffers 1d6+5 points of nonlethal damage each round and must hold its breath or start to suffocate in 1d4 rounds. If the victim is rendered unconscious he begins suffering 1d6+5 points of lethal damage each round instead.

Cheek Pouches (Ex): A megalosquirrel has two cheek pouches, and each can hold one large, two medium, four small or sixteen tiny or smaller creatures or an equivalent volume of nonliving matter (about 3500 cubic feet).

Skills: A megalosquirrel has a +8 racial bonus to Climb checks and can take 10 on Climb checks even while distracted or threatened.

"Cute doesn't mean harmless," Teresa warned. Timmon ignored her and reached out to pet the squirrel. She smiled at his screams of pain from the bite.

You summon 1d10 squirrels / level into the area of effect, up to 10d10. This swarm somehow manages to deal 1 point of damage for each 5 squirrels attacking, and you may divide the squirrels as you see fit among the creatures you want attacked in the area of effect. Creatures with natural armor may count their natural armor bonus as DR against the attacks of this mob of squirrels, and a creature with a +5 natural AC bonus or greater is immune to this attack. That said, those swarmed by squirrels still need to make a concentration check DC 10+ 1 per 5 squirrels attacking them to cast any spell.

Material Component: A sack of nuts, preferably acorns.

Reminder: Squirrels have the same stats as rats from the MM except that they have a climb speed of 30 feet.

Whenever you are wounded a squirrel is formed for every 4 hit points you lose (and it has hit points equal to your loss, up to 4). The squirrels created by this spell are under your control and will attack whomever you designate fearlessly, though if they are not enhanced the usefulness of their attacks is dubious (they can flank a foe for you though). The squirrels created by this spell remain permanently, ending the spell prematurely only breaks your control over them.

This spell summons a single squirrel who attacks your enemies (though it's usefulness in this capacity is dubious). It appears where you designate and acts immediately, on your turn. It attacks your opponents to the best of its ablity. If you can communicate with the squirrel, you can direct it not to attack, to attack particular enemies, or to perform other actions. Summoned creatures act normally on the last round of the spell and disappear at the end of their turn.
Material Component: An acorn.

I've got an idea for an attack through personal hiking experiences:
Acorn toss - Squirrels throw 1d6 acorns for damage equal to half the number thrown.

LordErebus12

2013-06-04, 11:16 PM

I've got an idea for an attack through personal hiking experiences:
Acorn toss - Squirrels throw 1d6 acorns for damage equal to half the number thrown.

hmm, i cant help but think it could function like magic stone. Magical Acorns.

The Mentalist

2013-06-04, 11:18 PM

Or a group of them could do a hail of stone effect

Yitzi

2013-06-05, 12:03 AM

I've got an idea for an attack through personal hiking experiences:
Acorn toss - Squirrels throw 1d6 acorns for damage equal to half the number thrown.

Where are you hiking, that squirrels throw acorns with enough force to be a deadly threat?

I think it's perfectly ok if squirrels are not a significant threat to the PCs; they're squirrels, not monsters.

gurgleflep

2013-06-05, 01:47 AM

Where are you hiking, that squirrels throw acorns with enough force to be a deadly threat?

I think it's perfectly ok if squirrels are not a significant threat to the PCs; they're squirrels, not monsters.

The woods behind my house - them there varmints are some of the meanest, nastiest, little critters I've ever had the displeasure of dealing with!

tommhans

2013-06-05, 02:29 AM

the squirrel that got a laser got it because it mutated because of living near a radioactive pool of water, thus giving him some insane amount of powers like laser. but yeah will tone down his hp abit, but give him some other advantages(this is a boss fight so needs to be abit powerful ^^) and yeah giving them a +something for hiding doesnt sound that stupid at all :)

Debihuman

2013-06-05, 07:53 AM

If you are looking for a boss fight, go with a Giant Mutated Squirrel with Gaze. Laser beams would suggest a mechanical device was implemented. I don't have an objection to the sci-fi theme but it sounds like Mad Scientist would be the boss of this rather than the squirrel itself,

Debby

tommhans

2013-06-05, 07:57 AM

ah not stupid! the main boss of the whole story is a mad wizard that sends his Giants to ruin the country of fallhill, to get revenge on the ones that did not appreciate his work, and also gather the magical equipment the group has gathered, so he becomes even more powerfull!

so i guess that could make sense to add something crazy attachment to this animal! ill do that ^^

Debihuman

2013-06-05, 09:11 AM

What level are the PCs? When custom designing a monster it helps to know know the CR.

Debby

tommhans

2013-06-06, 06:13 AM

PC's are Level 8, soon level9, they do have some awesome homebrewed equipment due to them fighting against the invasion of giants. But the hp is very varied, the wizard still has 33 hp! He is only alive because the cleric heals him all the time, i think the wizard got unconcious 3 times last session, its not exactly getting easier for him later on but that is his fault :P
The fighter on the other hand has 100 hp, so the difference is huge, but yeah anyways, the fighter is not playing this session so the difference isnt that huge anymore so its easier to make a fight ^^

Anyways, i've been thinking and i think that the squirrel should be without a visual laser arm, but instead that he uses magic, in this sense he could shoot scorching ray(which on in my group classified as laser beam while using that spell in an earlier session) and it would make sense. The gamma ray laser is almost like an encounter based attack so it is a powerful spell.

Also i think im adding "confusion" as a feat for them , as they are several squirrels and visually you cant spot the difference between the laser one and the common ones, so that they can try to confuse the player to attack the wrong squirrel in that sense.

So the reason why the squirrel has laser beam spells and such is because this mad scientist tested out different methods in his lab deep inside the cave, which they are going towarsd without knowing it. But since its just been a mythical legend for the people in the town nearby, noone knows this information until they find the clues inside the cave.

tommhans

2013-06-07, 08:59 AM

used it on yesterdays session, instead of one mega squirrel i had 6 with lasers attached to their backs because of this insane mad scientist that expeerienced with spiders, squirrels and a mind flayer in this cave where a lot of people were stuck.

but yeah, they did give them a good fight but the biting was abit off so shouldve downsized it, but yeah they enjoyed being met by it hehe ^^

one dude managed to die(get unconcious, below 0) 6 times during this session, but got healed everytime, 2 of those times were against level 2 spiders i hadnt done any fixing on, that was insane hehe ^^

nerman8r

2017-03-30, 06:31 PM

Insert DnDWiki link here.
I find this suspect. This person thinks squirrels are diminutive. I don't think they've ever seen one before. I checked Dr. Google to make sure; based on squirrels' weight, they are tiny.

Tiktakkat

2017-03-30, 08:05 PM

If you have squirrels, you will need:

FRINGE HERESIES: SKRATZIVORT
Deity of Squirrels and Gliding Mammals

Skratzivort is a relatively irrelevant deity, having a portfolio that most rational beings simply do not care about. If it were not for the Yggdrasil-dwelling ratatosk, it is likely he would have disappeared millennia ago. That all changed with the rise of the hobloggers a few centuries ago during the building of Irongate. Something about the hobloggers drew them to Skratzivort and his philosophy of scampering up and down trees, gliding between them, and hoarding nuts. Or perhaps it was just that the hobloggers were completely nuts. Scholars could not care less, and most religious authorities are more than happy that it keeps the hobloggers away from their congregations.

Skratzivort’s origins lie deep in the mists of history. At least that is what most scholars believe. As the deity of squirrels, no one ever noticed him, let alone cared to investigate him more deeply. It is possible he is a recent addition to the ranks of the deities. Some believe he may be an Animal Lord grown to deity status; others suspect he is a ratatosk who ascended; still others think he was the familiar of some peculiar wizard or the animal companion of some deluded druid or both who retained his abilities after the death of his master and continued to grow in power. Some even think he is related to the vile and treacherous Raxivort, Lord of Rats, Bats, and Xvarts, because of the similarity of their names and irrelevance of their portfolios. Whatever the truth, Skratzivort is a deity with a following, and most obsessive scholars find themselves compelled to include him in their lists.
Skratzivort does not have a standard form he uses when he manifests. He has appeared as everything from a halfling with excessive body hair, to an anthropomorphic squirrel (moreso than a typical ratatosk), to a squirrel of varying size. Indeed it is suspected that Skratzivort is one of the more active deities, appearing to his worshipers regularly in the form of a squirrel that watches them approvingly whenever they undertake a particularly difficult task involving scampering or nut acquisition (plus gliding, where applicable).
Skratzivort’s cult does not really have any purpose, unless you consider scampering and gathering nuts (and do not forget gliding!) to be purposes. Based on how some of his followers act, it is possible that acquiring a furry tail is also a purpose of his followers, as creating such seems to be a major activity, and many ceremonies involve saluting each other with such tails incorporated into hats, or attaching larger versions to their belts and running around. No one is really sure, and research into the topic horrifies all investigators with the least shred of dignity.

Skratzivort is a chaotic good deity and his clerics are chaotic good (the majority), neutral good (the larger minority), or chaotic neutral (the remainder). His clerics wear robes decorated with trees, nuts, squirrels, and gliding mammals, appropriate to the area they live in. His symbol is a nut, again typical to the region the cleric lives in. His epithets and titles include the Hairy-Tailed One, the Nut Lord, Rocket, and He Who Remembers Where His Nuts Are Stored. His home is believed to be Yggdrasil, but he forever wanders and leaps across branches that it may be that he has no true home. His portfolio is squirrels and gliding mammals. Why gliding mammals? Nobody really knows. Why the heck does Raxivort have rats and bats, two thoroughly unrelated animals, as part of his portfolio?!? If he can do it, Skratzivort certainly can!
His primary worshipers are those who like to run on branches and leap from tree to tree, those who seek nuts and are willing to eat them, and those who are just plain nuts. His domains are Animal, Chaos, Good, and Plant. His favored weapon is the thrown nut. (Treat as a shuriken that does bludgeoning damage. Optionally, you can also use the skiprock and war sling from Races of the Wild as additional favored weapons.)

(What sort of holidays would a squirrel have? No, seriously, what in the multiverse could possibly be worth celebrating when you worship freaking squirrels? Gah!)
First Nut: The day the first nuts suitable for hoarding appear on trees is greeted with solemn ritual and joyous celebration. To most outsiders it appears that a congregation simply goes wild, scurrying into trees (and gliding between them), collecting as many nuts as they possibly can, with nothing even vaguely resembling a ritual. Followers of Skratzivort dismiss such criticisms as being the sour grapes of uninitiated heathens, and focus their energies on gathering more nuts.
I Remember!: When food stores run low in winter, the first time someone remembers where they hid their hoard of nuts is treated as a time of celebration. Again, outsiders view this as nothing more than someone leaping to his feet, shouting that he remembers, and the entire community racing to uncover the stash, then stuffing themselves in a desperate attempt to stave off starvation. Followers of Skratzivort will steadfastly refuse to share their nuts with anyone who makes such a comment during the ritual, at least until the persons offers a full and sincere apology.
The Scampering: A true absurdity, this “holiday” consists of an entire community spontaneously dropping everything they are doing and running wildly across any available branches in a combination of Follow the Leader and Tag! The Scampering may be held several times a year, always in good weather, whenever enough people decide they need a day off. Questions and criticisms of the practice are inevitably met with mockery, typically involving some variation of “You can’t catch me!” and “You can’t do what I can do!” Persistent detractors will be pelted with acorns. Sane observers will flee at top speed the moment they suspect a Scampering is beginning.

The insight into the minds of the followers of Skratzivort revealed in their sayings is more than most people want to know. For those who insist, forget spells are often the only salvation.
Nuts!: Reputed to be a legendary declaration of defiance from a general rejecting a call to surrender to an overwhelming force, the faithful of Skratzivort point out that they use nuts as weapons, and that it should serve as a warning to those who mock them.
Whee!: An exclamation of sheer joy used repeatedly during the holiday rituals mentioned above. When asked why this serves as a statement of faith, followers of Skratzivort just nod and say that proves the person asking just does not get it.
Get your hands off that squirrel’s ____!!!.: According to the hobloggers, this is a reminder to both share and not to steal. Most outsiders think it is used purely for shock value. The fact that even hobloggers are unable to keep a straight face for more than a minute after shouting it to each other is taken as proof enough that it is not intended for any serious purpose.

It is almost absurd to consider a faith as bizarre as this one to have books they consider holy. Therefore, just to teach the rest of the world a lesson, they do.
Beyond the Shrubbery Enclosure: This is a collection of short tales describing the adventures of a particularly adept squirrel and his woodland cohorts in their attempts to penetrate the protective barrier around a small community so they can raid it for food and entertainment. The squirrel and his friends regularly find themselves commenting on the more absurd behavior of the people living within the community, particularly the effects not scurrying on trees (or gliding between them) and acquiring and storing nuts has on them. As books, they are lavishly illustrated, and used for both entertainment and education.
The Heroes of Chilblains Cascades: Another cycle of heroic tales, this series involves a flying squirrel who can actually fly and not just glide, and his partner, a large dimwitted moose with arcane spell-casting ability, as they protect their home town of Chilblains Cascades from the nefarious schemes of two spies attempting to subvert their home for a mysterious overlord. Rather than simple commentary, these tales contain valuable moral lessons under the veneer of absurd situations and outrageous wordplay. These books are also extensively illustrated, and are a favorite among children as well as adults.
The Complete Sciurid: The ultimate sourcebook for everything related to squirrels (plus an extensive appendix addressing gliding mammals), this massive tome contains detailed descriptions and options (Options? What options could they possibly have?) for all types of squirrels (and gliding mammals). At least it is believed to. To date, no outside has been able to confirm this, as the few who have attempted to read the book have gone irretrievably insane before getting past the third chapter. This insanity is inevitably some form of dementia, ranging from sciuranthropy, to violent sciurophilia wherein the person will attack anyone who criticizes squirrels or the book.

Clerics
Virtually all of Skratzivort’s clerics are multi-classed cleric/rangers, just so they can get a squirrel as an animal companion. Indeed those wishing to become clerics must have such a companion in order to be accepted. This tends to limit the number of clerics within the cult, which all outsiders who are aware of them are quite grateful for. Beyond that, their duties are extremely limited. Clerics are expected to scamper on branches (and glide, if possible) regularly, as well as take the lead in finding and storing nuts. Other than that, their obligations are non-existent, and most spend their free time in supporting their communities to the best of their ability. Among hobloggers, this involves healing those who do not scamper as well as they do, scouting, relocating squirrels living in trees that are to be harvested, and similar tasks. It is here that those clerics who are capable of gliding are most valued, as the ability to soar across the canyons in the Iron Hills enables them to get places inaccessible to others.

Followers
Lay followers of Skratzivort are expected to do the same things as his clergy: scamper (with gliding if possible) and gather nuts. Many feel it enhances their connection to Skratzivort to help squirrels, tending their injuries, helping them gather nuts, and sharing stores of nuts with them in the winter. Others seek to work with squirrels more directly, training them for a variety of tasks that tiny animals can perform for the benefit of a community. Rumors exist of some that take this to extremes, using breeding techniques borrowed from gnomes to create giant squirrels for a variety of tasks. Most dismiss these as nonsense, as no rational being would want to recreate some of those experiments. Others remind those cynics that the term “rational being” has no place in any discussion of followers of Skratzivort, particularly when it involves hobloggers.

Much like squirrels, Skratzivort and his followers are ignored as much as possible by other faiths in the hopes that they will scurry off anywhere else. In rare cases, a particularly over exuberant crusader who is not paying close attention will mistake Skratzivort’s name for that of Raxivort, and try to smite them. The followers of Skratzivort will simply race for the nearest tree or similar object, and scamper around it with the crusader in full pursuit until they wear him out, whereupon they will explain the situation to him, enunciating carefully, until he comprehends. Failing that they will typically scatter, allowing him to pursue them fruitlessly until such time as he either comes to his senses and gives up or collapses from apoplexy.
The one exception to the above rule is Raxivort himself who takes excessive umbrage at the confusion, and attempts to assail Skratzivort whenever possible. This enmity carries through to the xvart followers of Raxivort, who will go into a frenzy and savagely attack followers of Skratzivort whenever possible. Such attacks inevitably end with them fleeing in terror while being pelted by acorns, leaving their dead and dying littering the field.

To the everlasting dismay of outsiders, more than a few hobloggers live long enough to qualify for prestige classes. To their unending regret, those that do inevitably favor classes that enhance their squirrel companions, or give them greater squirrel-like powers. Beastmaster and animal lord are by far the most prominent prestige classes found among followers of Skratzivort. Perhaps even more repugnant to the rational mind is a variant of the halfling outrider class, featuring a (thankfully) rare variety of dire squirrel as the mount.
For those who seek the ultimate union with Skratzivort, there is the squirrely prestige class.

Class Features:
All of the following are class features of a Squirrelly character
Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Squirrelly gain no proficiency with any weapons, armor, or shields.

Fuzziness (Ex): At 1st, 4th, and 7th, level, a squirrelly becomes more squirrel-like in appearance. His skin becomes furrier, gradually turning into a soft pelt of adorable fur. This provides a +1 increase to the character’s existing natural armor (if any) at each of those levels.

Claws (Ex): At 2nd level, a squirrelly gains claws. These claws do not do additional damage, but do allow the squirrelly to treat his unarmed attacks as natural weapons, allowing him to threaten adjacent squares, and make unarmed attacks without provoking attacks of opportunity. More importantly for a squirrelly, they grant a Climb speed equal to one-half of the squirrelly’s base speed. The squirrelly gains a +8 racial bonus to all climb checks. The squirrelly can take 10 on all climb checks, even if rushed or threatened while climbing. If he chooses to make an accelerated climb, he moves at double his climb speed, and makes a single Climb check at a -5 penalty. He cannot run while climbing. He retains his Dexterity bonus to Armor Class (if any) while climbing, and opponents get no special bonus on their attacks against a climbing creature.

Sciurid Agility: At 2nd level and again at 4th level, a squirrelly’s squirrel-like reflexes improve. This gives him a +2 bonus to Dexterity at each of those levels.

Tail: At 3rd level a squirrelly grows a tail, the most sacred appendage of Skratzivort. This tail looks absolutely gorgeous, and grants a +4 racial bonus on Balance, Climb, and Jump checks.

Sciurid Resilience: At 6th level, a squirrelly’s ability to survive harsh conditions improve. This gives him a +2 bonus to Constitution.

Scurrying: At 7th level, a squirrelly becomes as one with his glorious tail. He can now run or charge while climbing, and does not have to move in a straight line when doing so. He also ignores all terrain penalties for moving while in trees.

Sciurid Cuteness (Sp): At 8th level the incredible adorableness of the squirrelly’s tail becomes impossible for others to ignore. The squirrelly gains a +2 bonus to Charisma.

Patagium (Sp): At 9th level the squirrelly approaches the perfection of gliding mammal form. He grows patagium between his arms and legs. These allow him to glide at a speed of 30 feet with clumsy maneuverability. When gliding, he must lose 10 feet of altitude for every 30 feet he travels. The patagium interfere with the ability to wear armor, and require any such to be custom made. The squirrelly cannot glide at all if wearing medium or heavy armor, or if carrying a medium or heavy load. The patagium count as having wings and a natural fly speed for the purpose of taking feats that require either as a prerequisite.

Sciurid Apotheosis (Sp): At 10th level a squirrelly finally becomes one with Skratzivort! He gains another +4 Dexterity and +2 Charisma. His fuzziness becomes complete giving him a total of +4 to natural armor. His senses improve further, giving him low-light vision, as well as tremorsense to 30 feet while in contact with a tree, and a +4 racial bonus to Listen, Search, and Spot checks. His scurrying improves further and he may now run or charge without having to move in a straight line while on the ground. He further ignores the effects of heavy and light undergrowth when moving on the ground, including while charging.

Few faiths have relics that are so utterly inane as the faith of Skratzivort. That in no way makes them less desired by his followers. These items are both relics and a functioning magic item set, neither of which makes them any less ridiculous.
Patagium of Gliding: This bulky cloak comes with attached gloves and boots. When properly worn, it looks as if the user had a full patagium (the membrane used for gliding by gliding mammals) stretched along his sides. Unfortunately its extensive nature means it takes up the hand, foot, and shoulder slots. When you wear it, the patagium functions as a ring of feather falling if you are Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, or Chaotic Neutral.
To use the relic power you must worship Skratzivort and either sacrifice a 3rd level divine spell slot or have the True Believer feat and at least 5 HD. The relic power enables you to glide at will as per the glide spell (detailed below) at will.
Tail of Balance: A long, fluffy squirrel tail, this item is attached at the waist. An extensive series of straps that criss-cross the body give the wearer nearly complete control of the tail. This unfortunately means the item requires both the waist and body slots to use properly. The basic ability of the tail provides a +5 competence bonus to all Balance checks.
To use the relic power you must worship Skratzivort and either sacrifice a 2nd level divine spell slot or have the True believer feat and at least 5 HD. The relic power enables you to run on branches as per the scamper spell (detailed below) at will.
Pilot’s Cap: This is a tight leather cap combined with a pair of goggles suitable for protecting your eyes when traveling at high speed. The basic ability of the cap is identical to the precise weapon enhancement (MIC 40) when using acorns or skiprocks.
To use the relic power you must worship Skratzivort and either sacrifice a 4th level divine spell slot or have the True believer feat and at least 7 HD. The relic power functions like goggles of foefinding (MIC 108).
Collection Benefits: The pieces of the Squirrel Suit (as the collection is called) give you squirrel-like movement and precision. For those who gain multiple pieces, the powers make you truly squirrely.
2 Pieces A: Wearing the patagium and one other piece of this ridiculous collection enables you to actually fly, as per the spell, instead of glide, 1/day. You may also spontaneously convert any spell of 3rd level or higher into an additional use of this ability, or any spell of 5th level or higher into overland flight.
2 Pieces B: Wearing the cap and tail enables you to transform yourself into a squirrel once per day. (Treat as a rat with a climb speed of 30 feet and no swim speed.) It also allows you to store fat in the tail to sustain yourself in the future. For every day you eat twice as much food as normal you may ignore the effects of starvation and thirst for one day in the future. You may store up to 90 days of food in this manner.
3 Pieces: Wearing the entire collection gives you the ability to cast fire seeds (acorn grenades only) once per day.

Skratzivort’s followers have created a few spells to grant them the abilities of the mighty squirrel.

The smell of wood fills your nostrils as you complete the spell and touch your intended subject. A fuzzy tail springs from the subject’s rear as he lifts up on his toes, his body filled with nervous energy.

The affected creature can run freely over tree branches without having its speed reduced. The affected creature gains a 10-foot enhancement bonus to speed and is not required to make a Balance check or Reflex save to run on narrow branches.

You invoke the spell and touch the subject, causing a translucent, phantom patagium to appear between the subject’s outstretched arms and feet.

The subject can glide with a speed of 30 feet (or 20 feet if it wears medium or heavy armor, or if it carries a medium or heavy load). Because this is gliding and not actual flight, the subject must drop 10 feet for every 60 feet traveled.

Skratzivort enables his followers to summon celestial squirrels, as well as his moose allies. How and why moose came to be allies of Skratzivort is mystery, though many believe it is based on a secret hidden iin the subtext in the stories of the Heroes of Chilblains Cascades.

† Use the same stats as a dire rat but climb speed is 40 ft. and it has no diseased attack
†† Use the stats for the elk in Silver Marches 119
††† Use the stats for the dire elk in Monster Manual II 75
†††† Use the stats for the megatherium in Fiend Folio 124

Hushed legends speak of the destructive prowess of Wooly Rupert (CN legendary giant space hamster of legend sorcerer 20), also known as the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen. How and why Wooly Rupert came to work for Skratzivort is unknown, especially since he is neither a squirrel nor a gliding mammal. (Suggestions that Wooly Rupert’s spelljamming abilities qualify as gliding are considered so absurd as to perhaps be reasonable given everything else that is known about Skratzivort.)
Getting Wooly Rupert to help is surprisingly easy – all you need is enough chow to fill his cheek pouches. The only limitation is his incredible hatred of gnomes. If gnomes are anywhere nearby when Wooly Rupert is summoned, any mission is tossed out the window as he goes off on a rampage against them. This limits his use in some situations, though there are stories that it has been used in the past, with a gnome “volunteer” racing into the middle of an army of squirrel- and Scratixivort-haters, with Wooly Rupert in frenzied pursuit, destroying said army as collateral damage in pursuit of the gnome.

jqavins

2017-03-30, 09:40 PM

Apparently a squirrel can remember over 90% of the nuts it hides for the winter. I'd give it a +2 or +4 on search checks to forage for food, personally.
I heard some research a couple of years ago that said the opposite. The pick likely spots to stash nuts, and use the same notion of likely spots to look for nuts later, but don't really remember much if at all. Often, the nuts they find were stashed by a different squirrel and someone else gets many of the ones they stashed.