A few years ago, after dropping my kids off at middle school, I met a couple of friends at Starbucks. The conversations went something like this---
End of School Year
“So, what’d you get on your report card?” I asked, tapping a venti latte with my nails.
“Five A’s, 2B’s. How about you?” said another mom as she checked her cell phone.
“Four A’s, one B and one C. Took me two parent teacher meetings and a call to the principal to get the C,” I said.
“Try harder next time.”
Things have gotten so bad that we feel personally responsible for kid’s failures, always trying to resolve problems. It’s time to stop helping so much and let them learn from the consequences of their … [Read more...]

After taking my son to get his permit at the DMV, I said to myself, "Hey, this place feels like home."
Everyone is always mad at you.
“If you don’t have an appointment, you’re in the wrong line,” says the first person I meet at the DMV, his nostrils flaring. Returning home after grocery shopping, a wave of anger hits me in the face. “Did you remember the Pop-Tarts?” whines my son. “You don’t expect me to watch Castle on TV?” complains my hubby.
There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.
There’s lots of eye rolling.
“Is this the line to renew your license?” I say. A huge arm points to the farthest corner of the DMV. “Read the signs, lady. It’s over there,” says … [Read more...]

My friend and fellow blogger, Leanne Shirtliffe, has released a new book, Don’t Lick the Minivan and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say To My Kids (Skyhorse, May 2013).
This is the first time I’ve ever called someone a friend that I have never met. I’ve been following her blog for months and attended her webinar, How To Write Funny (Er): 10 Humor Techniques for Writers of Fiction and Nonfiction. I feel like I know her now!
Leanne asked me to be part of her Don’t Lick the Minivan book release, or the DLM Street Team. I was fortunate to get an advance copy of her book and wanted to share it with you.
Her humor hits the spot for the mom trying to please everyone, with very little … [Read more...]

Gretchen McNeil was the guest speaker at the Tri-Valley Writers Club meeting on May 18. She offered writing tips and insight into the publishing world that were invaluable. Her upbeat attitude and boundless energy invigorated me to get back down to the business of writing my novel.
More on Gretchen McNeil
She’s an opera singer, clown, and writer. She has written the Young Adult horror POSSESS about a teen exorcist which debuted in 2011. Her follow up,TEN was released in 2012, and her third novel 3:59 is scheduled for fall of this year. She is currently working on a Young Adult mystery/suspense series Don’t Get Mad, which will begin in 2014.
Find out more about Gretchen at … [Read more...]

Guest Blogger, Don Mills, contributed this article. Read more about Don below.
Disrespectful Teens
The problem with young people today is that they have no respect for their elders.
Back when I was a sprog we were expected to be polite, respectful and afraid of old people. We said “please” and “thank you” and would never have dared to call an adult by their Christian name.
But these uppity youngsters today have no respect. They give you sass, lip, guff, guff lip, lip sass, sass lip and generally behave in a way that makes it unsafe for us older folks to venture outside of our homes for fear of teenage mockery, robbery, stupidity or worse.
Call Adults By First Name
But what really … [Read more...]

It's Mother's Day
Is it a complete mystery what women really want for Mother's Day? My day was always big bust and I was too exhausted to endure it again. This Mother's Day I came up with a brilliant idea.
Two days before the big event, I prepared my answer to the question, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“Come on, we have to get you something. What do you want?”
“Nothing. I want a day filled with nothing. No fighting. No laundry. No cooking. No TV,” I said.
“You’re just saying that. You’d be mad if we don’t get you a gift.”
“Nope. This is what I really want.”
“No way. That’s too hard. Just let us get you a gift.”
I stood my … [Read more...]

Do I have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder?
Growing up in the 70s, no one was diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. Instead we were labeled disruptive, excitable, loud, and annoying. Teachers complained that we shouted out in class and couldn’t sit still. Our parents called us moody and useless. We probably had something more like ADLBD (Attention Deficit Lazy Butt Disorder). Now, the spectrum for ADD includes adults. Here are the 4 signs I may have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (AADD). You be the judge.
#1 Difficulty Getting Organized
If clutter on your desk is an indication of being disorganized, I’m guilty as charged. At this point, it’s necessary to push aside desk debris in order to … [Read more...]

My local nail salon is like a Turkish bazaar; people speak different languages, laughter, and loud voices surrounded by blaring music and bright lights. Nail polish bottles, Post-it notes, glossy posters, and banners with price lists of various nail services cover all available wall space. It’s a great place for an early morning wake-up call and a gel manicure.
Within moments of entering the salon, a man wearing a white mask rushed up and pushed me into the nearest vinyl chair. A tiny lady with a pink apron approached and said, “Do you want a mani-pedi?”
“Ummm…I want a gel manicure,” I said picking at a fingernail.
“Go pick a color,” she said and thrusted me towards an endless … [Read more...]

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Stacey Gustafson is the bestselling author of Are You Kidding Me? My Life With an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives, ranked #1 Amazon in Parenting & Family Humor and Motherhood. She’s also an inspirational speaker, blogger and comedian. Her short stories have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul, seven books in the Not Your Mother’s Book series, as well as Midlife Boulevard, Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, Pleasanton Patch, Bay Woof, and Better After 50. She writes the blog, Are You Kidding Me?, where she dispenses her humorous take on kids, husbands, parents and everything in between.

She has been featured in The Monthly, East Bay’s Premier Magazine of Culture and Commerce as “The New Erma Bombeck,” The East Bay Times, and Toastmasters Magazine.

Her awards include Erma Bombeck Humor Writer of the Month, California Writers Club, Tri-Valley Branch, winner of 2015 Prose Contest, Semi-Finalist in the 2015 Kindle Book Awards, Advanced Toastmaster Bronze award, and Best Comic of the Month at Tommy T’s Comedy Club. She performs stand-up throughout the East Bay.

She lives in Pleasanton, CA with her college sweetheart, Mike, and a white furball named Stanley who loves peanut butter treats. Visit her popular blog at StaceyGustafson.com, Facebook @StaceyGustafsonWriter, and Twitter @RUKiddingStacey.

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