What You’ve Missed

Getting a Raw Deal

Lorenzo loves to use that term. Whenever we are bashing talking about our exes he always uses the phrase, “she was trying to hand me a raw deal”. I used to think only my friends and I were lucky enough to date crazy men with ridiculous intentions and even more ridiculous actions; I used to assume that because my friends and I had ourselves “together” for the most part that most women did to…that is until Lorenzo started telling me some of his dating horror stories. We tend to go back and forth, our personal experiences and the experiences of people we know. It amazing how entertaining it can be.

My experience with guys trying to hand me a “raw deal” goes back to just the way they used to try to get away with too much too soon. There were guys that would see me going to or coming home from work everyday that would try to talk to me and get my number, but when I started asking questions about what they did for a living they couldn’t give me a straight answer. I was not going to date an unemployed man. Period. You mean to tell me you can put all this energy into trying to get my number but you can’t put that same energy into finding a job? At the time I was already taking care of of 3 unemployed teenagers so I couldn’t see myself wasting spending time with someone and having everything be on my dime. There wouldn’t have been any balance (another phrase Lorenzo likes to use). I liked going out to dinner and dancing with my friends with whatever money I had left over after paying my bills, so I wasn’t going to create an extra bill for myself by having to pay for an extra person…all of the time. What a burden.

Lorenzo briefly dated a woman who suffered from seizures from time to time so she wasn’t able to drive and didn’t qualify for most health insurance plans. Lorenzo didn’t have an issue with that, his problem with her was that not only did she lie about having a job, she was still living with her parents, and expected him to take her to 4 and 5 star restaurants- all of the time. She wouldn’t even eat chicken wings with him! When he asked her what she wanted in a partner, she stated that she wanted someone to take care of her, meaning, providing place to live, only buying her the best clothing and dining experiences, and someone to pay her medical expenses as well. When he asked what she was bringing to the table, she responded by moving her hand up and down her body. Yeah…he stopped calling her after that.

Lorenzo and I have similar logic when it comes to dating. We both work hard and like to reap the benefits of our hard work by treating ourselves every now and then. We aren’t rich but we like to do things for one another that would require both of us to have a job. We can’t see ourselves being with someone who requires us to do ALL of the work and bear all of the financial responsibility in a relationship. That would be a raw deal.

Does anyone have any “raw deal” stories they want to share? I plan on adding more stories, but probably at another time.