As an owner of a "stray cat" who has learned how to type his name on my keyboard (although he spells it PO), I thought this was worth sharing:

Rules for Stray Cats

1. Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food
moistened with a little milk.
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food
moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover
fish scraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their
permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and
cuddled unnecessarily.
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up or
cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
8. Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed
inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at
certain times.
10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on
days ending in "y".
11. Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up
on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
12. Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen
claws on the really good furniture.
13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen
claws on new .99 sisal rope cat scratching post with
three perches.
14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
high impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter
pan, with a three panel privacy screen and plenty of head
room.
17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old
blanket.
21. Stray cats will sleep in the special KittyKomfortBed with
non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except
at the foot.
24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under
the covers.
25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under
the covers, except at the foot.
26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
27. Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer.
28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard
on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyy-
kmm4hb USING IT.