Sunday, November 26, 2006

Real-Life Tucker Max Bar Story

Another anonymous poster has posted a real-life Tucker Max bar story in the comments section of the previous post, "Here's A November 2006 Real-Life Tucker Max Story." If anyone else can verify the details of the story, you can add a comment to this post. This story was submitted by an anonymous poster on November 18, 2006 at 10:06 PM:

I've been out with Tucker on a number of occasions. Myself and another one of his ex fans used to remark on his awesome conquests as they are either "18, 92 or 235". Meaning most of them are 18 years old or younger, or have an IQ of below 92, or they weigh over 235 lbs. Yes he did hook up with some good looking girls, but most women laughed him off in his face. The quality of the girls he fucks is usually between "mentally unstable" to "whoa, that chick is really fucked up". Tucker thinks because a girl is hot, they are "A" game. I disagree, most of them are nothings who would 20 years ago would have been groupies for RATT or WASP.

Massler, why did you discontinue your Heroic Destiny Squad? I tried to access your Heroic Destiny Squad website and all that I found was a bunch of stories about you, Justin Massler. Nobody wants to read stupid stories about you. You need to get back into character and stalk Tucker Max again and post the Tucker Max video on your website that you supposedly have.

Anonymous (11/28/2006 1:04 PM), I made this blog to expose Tucker Max as the doucehbag that he is. I remember reading Amazon.com reviews for his book and even though it's obvious that a good 80-90% of the reviews are biased (either pro- Max or anti-Max), it annoyed me that only the negative reviews were being deleted.

I think Max is full of shit and have always thought so. I've encountered people like Max before and they're all the same type of pompous blowhards. Max seems like a total jerkoff who will look back on his life in 30 years and realize he's wasted his life.

Why is it that Max's friends have a problem with this website? They thought that Max was so cool when he posted the story about the Vermont beauty queen which showed that she was exaggerating her background, yet they think that I am an asshole for putting up this blog to expose Max as blatantly lying about himself. That makes no sense to me.

Max is so delusional that he probably actually thinks that someone will make a movie about his life someday. He needs to wake up to reality, because that is never going to happen. Opie and Anthony called him out as a liar as Howard Stern would if Max ever managed to get on the Stern Show (which I highly doubt he ever would). Max has taken his little act as far as he can.

Yes, all TM's conquests are all screwed up, and huge cheats themselves. There are some VERY interesting news items being traded around about his current crazy, Courtney. I'll get more specifics and then post here.

no normal, well-adjusted woman would sleep with tucker under any circumstances. he can convince his fanboys otherwise because they're all virgins whose only knowledge of women comes from internet porn. the guys goes out dressed in fucking basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. he's pretty average-looking. he has no verbal ability to speak of. and to top it off, he has a ridiculously outsized ego.

it's no surprise that all the women he bangs claim to be bi-sexual. they're the same sluts in any club who make out with other chicks for the entertainment of meatheads. i'd wager a good 96% of them were molested as children.

Anonymous said... Massler, why did you discontinue your Heroic Destiny Squad? I tried to access your Heroic Destiny Squad website and all that I found was a bunch of stories about you, Justin Massler. Nobody wants to read stupid stories about you. You need to get back into character and stalk Tucker Max again and post the Tucker Max video on your website that you supposedly have.

Massler (aka Cloud) isn't Cockly. That's pretty obvious, unless you're an absolute idiot. Then again, since you're a Max fan, that should be a given.

I wish Cloud would post more often. He's more than a tad insane, and the fact that a fruitcake like him beat down a shit head like "Kung Fu" Mike is hilarious. Anyone who calls himself "Kung Fu" whatever shouldn't lose to someone who looks like they have regular pedicures.

So if you're really speaking truth to power, why not use your real name? I suppose it's possible someone's parents would actually name them Cockly McBeefwell, but I find that hard to believe. Of course, that would explain all the hatred. You do realize, though, that your cries for TM to post copies of his W-2s, etc., come off as just a tad insincere when you can't even use your own name to make fun of him, right?

Anonymous ( 11/30/2006 5:19 PM), it isn't insincere at all. Tucker Max has put himself on public display and is representing himself as something he is not. He deserves all of the criticism he receives.

The purpose of this blog is to expose Tucker Max as a douchebag. I am in no way promoting myself and am not doing this to make money off internet ads, so I will remain anonymous. Isn't it a bit hypocritcal of you to call me insincere for remaining anonymous while you posted your comment anonymously?

this fuckhead doesn't get it. if cockly posted his real names, the virgin hit squad would be fucking with him at home, at his work and with his family. they'd have a guy parked outside his house with a telephoto lens to take pictures of his wife, one hand on the camera and the other on his cock.

Has anyone noticed how at the end of the Absinth Donuts story, after he starts running home from the donut shop at 4:48 am. Two minutes later, at 4:50, he has somehow covered 30 blocks. I don't know how far that is in Chicago but I'd bet its more than a couple of miles. Between 4:48 and 5:10, he's run "at least 5 miles, probably more." In twenty-two minutes. He claims to have based the timing on his handheld tape recorder, and in stories about him in newspapers and so on he's complained about how others have misrepresented him by changing the order of events or compressing time and so on, so supposedly his stories are accurate down to the letter. So he ran 5 miles or more in 22 minutes, or about 4 minutes per mile. That's quite fast, don't you think? Especially since shortly before this he decides he is "so drunk I am not sure I could read."

Then why is it your job to expose him as a douchebag? I mean, if he's doomed to fail anyway, why not just let him be and watch his inevitable collapse instead of wasting time on a blog that "proves" him to be a douchebag with "real life" stories. Speaking of your stories, why should we believe them anymore than we believe Max's? Because he's such a douchebag, huh?

Have fun telling yourself how much better you are than Tucker Max. I'm behind you all the way.

hahahahah, if the kind of people that hate tucker max are faggots that spew cock talk in everything they write... then--

the punchline is too obvious.

(seriously, all you guys retort with, is something to do with dick. that's not just gay as hell; it's just fucking weird at this point.)

Are all of you repressed faggots rejected by max or something? Although, the owner of this blog and your hero, is named Cockly, so I guess its only appropriate that you guys all seem to be faggots who cant shuttup about dick.

The people critizing this blog are morons. The only reason this is even necessary is because Tucker deletes all posts on his message boards that question the truthfulness of his stories.

I think that this blog is hilarious. If you don't want to believe the stories that have been posted here, they go ahead and don't believe them. Maybe they are true and maybe not. But I can say the exact same thing about Tucker's stories. His stories don't seem believable and judging by the pictures I'm seen of him, the stories fly in the face of all logic.

"I think that this blog is hilarious. If you don't want to believe the stories that have been posted here, they go ahead and don't believe them. Maybe they are true and maybe not. But I can say the exact same thing about Tucker's stories. His stories don't seem believable and judging by the pictures I'm seen of him, the stories fly in the face of all logic."

what does it feel like to have your own stupidity bite you in the fucking ass?

And also, I didn't know you could infer the logic of a story by the way someone looks like. Weird.

allow me to give an example: you post a story about yourself fucking a swimsuit model with with your 12-inch cock, first in the vagina, then anus and finally blowing your load all over her face. then you post a picture of your ugly, virginal self. we all infer that the story is illogical.

learn the definition of "illogical" and you might actually get somewhere in your life instead of being such a patheticloser that spends all his time talking about cock and obsessing about someone you supposedly "hate".

Why do you guys persist in hating my hero, Tucker Max? He's cool and he's a big stud because he says he is and I have no reason to not believe him. You guys need to cut it out. Hey I need to go now and suck some cock. See you later.

here's what I think: Tucker's only going to get any further if he shows talent. Unfortunately, he's shown that he has zero in-person presence or charisma, to wit, the O&A show. Hollywood puts up with a lot, but talent needs to be able to turn it on, and Tucker just doesnt have it. Maybe he does with some liquid courage in him, maybe he did once but lost it to the gods of Introverted, Internal-processing internet gods, but the kid doesnt have it.

Does he have talent as a "behind the scenes" man, a producer, a publisher? There again, he's falling victim to his own success at sitting behind a computer and creating a madeup world where he is an alpha male. This is a guy that, to put it nicely, hasnt worked a traditional job, well, ever. He's a "writer", a "publisher". While his compadres from school have learned how to run a meeting, how to ask questions so they learn what they don't know that they don't know, he's typed away on his keyboard. He's got ideas, but he hasnt learned to execute on a scale necessary to promulgate his small successes any further. At the age of 30, he's still stumbling through his business like someone just out of college--ie his "book tour", or any of his interviews, or individual tasks like the TMMB conversion.

Tucker Max is a 31 y.o. unemployed alcoholic who hangs out at frat parties. He was born a spoiled rich kid and his parents are still bailing him out till this day. Really...does anybody else need to be said?

Bunny isn't really much of a writer, but because Tucker likes her she's a genius author with great potential.

Her work is pretty vapid. Her insights are dull and her technique is poor. She wants to come across like the female-Tucker-Max-meets-whatever-chick-book-is-popular, but she can't really seem to pull it off.

I think she did have a book deal, but it wasn't for what you read in her blog. I think it was for a children's book, but I doubt any publisher would want her with her easy to unfurl history and background. I think they have a thing about signing drunken, outwardly bisexual chicks with the inability to discern that a guy like Tucker is a scumbag, who have their sexual history displayed for everybody to read.

As boring goes Jadedinchicago is worse. It's 24/7 mellow-drama. I've never seen someone write so much about so little. Bunny is shit house crazy and she knows it and embraces it and that's why I read her blog. I hope she does publish her book. She deserves something for putting up with Tucker.

fact is, nobody would read that shit blog if she didn't have all the whorish pictures and stories. the audience is primarily guys who don't jerk off enough. fucking sad that she has so little self-respect.

Speaking of Bunny and Courtney, this was one of the latest entries in "The Bunny Blog".

"Later, Tucker and Courtney fought some more. She holed herself up in his room with her sidekick and refused to come out. Tucker and I went to a movie about tap dancing penguins, during which I laughed and cooed my ass off, and Tucker checked his text messages with a grimace and forehead crease every thirty six seconds.

After the movie, Tucker and Courtney fought some more, sidekicked some more, and screamed while I wikipediaed. Courtney threw her Chanel bronzing powder into the tiles, casting a permanent golden hue into the mortar, and considering the tiles were black, it was actually kind of pretty. Tucker didn't think it was pretty though. He told her to go stay with her parents at their room at the Ritz.

She threw her Ipod at his head--a hell of a throw--and it nicked him in the chin before slamming into the couch cushion next to him. He picked the thing up, walked casually onto his deck and launched it like Ichiro. The face lit up blue and spun away between the adjacent building and the Manhattan Bridge. "

yes, that Bunny entry is too great. Translated, into sane English, it reads "No, I dont look like Barbie junior with Jenna tits, but I'm artsy and down to earth and a true bisexual and non-materialistic and Tucker loves me more. Notice that he fights with Courtney too, so it wasn't just my craziness. I secretly think she's not good enough for him, but both she and I are trying to play all cool with each other, but I finally couldnt take it anymore and I took her off of my top Myspace friends"

the Bunny is rabidly co-dependent on Tucker. Not that I care about Tucker, but she really needs to let him go forward with his love life (not the random fuckbuddies, but his honest-to-god relationships). Talk about the ex girlfriend from hell. She showed up for Thanksgiving when the girlfriend and her parents were visiting??? Doesnt Bunny have real friends and a family somewhere? Tucker must be afraid she'll off herself.

Don't you think on some level he goes for women that are easily destroyed becuase he hates women? I don't care so much about his lies and whether or not some girl shit on his dick or not. His lies have no affect on my life so I could give a shit what he says he does. It's the damage he inflicts on these women that really disgusts me because he gets off on doing it. Every woman he gets involved with hates herself to the point where she thinks she deserves to be used like a door mat and he takes advantage of that. He knew exactly what he was doing by fucking JadedinChicago. He knew she'd be so desperate for blog traffic that she'd write about it. Same with Bunny. He used both of them just to bolster his reputation as an asshole because he knew they'd write about every fucked up thing he did to them.

yes, she's mentioned it since. It was posted to her blog and then she took it down shortly after. Blah blah blah, the solution is to break up and not continue the festering co-dependency. Women (and I am one) like this wear their victimhood as a badge of the "perpetrator's" level of intimacy with them.

What she's got going on is super unhealthy for her, emotionally. She's set herself up for a huge crack to her psyche if Tucker doesnt keep up the baby talk and constant reassuring and attention.

What I want to know is do any of these women have people in their life that care enough about them to tell them the truth? I don't get how Bunny's friends can let her do something as dumb as hop a plane to hang with Tucker and his new girlfriend for Thanksgiving after all he put her through?

having done what Bunny's doing when I was in my twenties, I can recall that they'd try and talk sense to me but I wasn't listening. I lost a lot of friends this way, as I'm sure she has. Even then, my obsession with M already made me tune out any amount of closeness with anyone else.

Not that anyone's following Bunny's blog closely, but it seems like she's hanging out with old not-close acquaintances, new not-close Tucker world acquaintances and maybe her sister. Oh, and the dogs. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there should be, say, a couple of close girlfriends and adventures with new boyfriends in her life.

Its not a single co-dependency, but this weird schism where they both need but despise each other. I knew Erin prett well back in Chi-town, and some of the shit Tucker did to her should have landed him in jail, but she just took it. However, he was MUCH more clingy than she was---he would call her at least 30-40x per day when they stopped living together, and probably more when she moved to LA. She openly mocked him, but at the same time kept running back to him whenever he was in need. Just a fucked up relationship no matter which way you look at it.

well, to be honest, Jada's not really a threat to anyone's relationships. Check out her photos. Plus, having to hang around Tucker's conquest is another emotional slap in the face.

I'm sure therapists would have much more technical terms for all of this, and Im sure it's fairly common, similar to physically abusive relationships. And co-dependency refers to the intra dependency of the relationship I believe.

Anyway, what was the point again? Oh, these folks dont have any real talent, at least beyond gratuitous writing on the internet.

I wouldn't say that lookswise she's beastly. That's harsh. Not one of Tucker's hotter scores for sure but she's okay. Her obnoxious sense of self-importance, psycho tendencies and never ending need for validation is what makes her unattractive.

After finding this site and laughing at many of the comments posted, I figured I just had to post my own comment.

People, if you didn't know this already: Tucker's stories are not true. Maybe there are some parts that are factual, but they are not true.

As a former Chicagoan, I began reading his site in late '04. Yes, many of them made me laugh (quite hard) at times, and I figured that I had no reason to not believe his stories. Wrong.

Seeing that this guy is now in his 30s, trying to stay young by getting shitfaced drunk and hitting on women much younger than he, it's kinda pathetic.

I have seen him out at a few bars around that time, and trust me when I say he's full of shit. He's nothing special, and if he was getting as much ass as he claimed...well, our city is full of not-slim women so I'm sure that he probably scored with many of them.

I've tried to read the Bunny site as well as her sister's Trixie site, but both were far too boring to continue. I mean come on, there is nothing at all of interest on these two blogs. Tucker tried to help them get noticed, it didn't work (except for the fanboys on his site that probably read it).

Reading his message board is even worse. At first I thought it was comical, but now you will see it over-run by either a)older guys that kiss his ass b)his friends c)females desperately seeking validation or d)kids. The latter is quite funny to see post, as they try to emulate his storied behavior and look like idiots. Tucker has to realize that too, but he'd prolly say something like "I rule, look at my Alexa rankings" or something to that effect.

Newsflash: you can manipulate Alexa rankings so easily, anyone with a clue of SEO or internet marketing has to just laugh at that acclaim.

Bottom line: He had a great run, compared to other internet 'icons', and it's slowly fading away. As someone mentioned earlier, I sure hope this 'big announcement' lands him a great deal....otherwise he's fucked.

Jada used to post a lot on Tucker's message board. I don't think anyone including Tucker gave her the time of day. The one time I commented on her blog and disagreed with her she flipped out on me. Just like Tucker's board her readers are all mindless kiss asses who believe her pity party crap.

good call about the kids. that seems to be about 90% of the posters. i'm sitting there reading them and thinking "does anybody actually believe this bullshit?" the problem is that fuckheads are tolerated if they lick tucker's ass enough.

you guys need to chill out. and calling tucker max, bunny, jaded and every other person you bitch about seems funny, since you're sitting here criticizing their lives while they will never know you exist.

and people that think max's stories are that outrageous to be completely unbelievable have to be serious nerds.

before you call me a fanboy or tell me im virginal or tell me i like incest or tell me my GPA is low or tell me im crazy or tell me im a moron, or whatever other generalization you have for anyone that enjoys max's stories. Know this: This is the internet. You are all anonymous. and I do not care.

NO! Tucker's stories are true and so are mine. Like that time I went out and got shit-faced, (TUCKER MAX DRUNK!!!) and downed 14 beers with my buddies and 12 shots of jaeger (damn that shit burns) then went to the bars. And I made fun of 5 fat chicks and kicked a midget in the balls because THAT'S WHO I AM AND ONLY I HAVE THE BALLS TO DO THIS. (You all secretly want to.) Then I made fun of some skank with low self-esteem and fucked the shit out of her, while my girlfriend stood outside in the rain calling me on the phone, crazy bitch!! Isn't that hilarious? The next day I shat on the whore's head and then went and wrote a book about it. I'm so awesome.

Guess what chump? He's probably more successful than you. Does he make shit up? Who the fuck cares? True or fake, his stories are hilarious. When you watch TV or read a book do you complain that the actors/authors make shit up?

Tucker Max is a character. Stop being jealous of his character and enjoy a laugh or two.

My take on Tucker is he is trying to be the next Dane Cook - a guy with a little bit of talent, but who at the end of the day just isn't that funny. Yet he is able to create from scratch a loyal and rabid fanbase who will do anything to be "a part" of this once no-names rise to fame. As if its a badge of honor to say "I liked (insert not so talented person) waayy before they were "big". But, if Tucker does get a deal, it'll go the way of Cooks movie with jessica simpson....which was nowhere.Being in your 30s and getting hammered isn't talent. Its just lame. Whats lamer is thinking that is "genius". yeah, hes got some funny stories, but enough to make a career out of it? I think his timer is reading 14:59 if you know what i mean.

oh, one more thing. hollywood is just a business. Guys like Cook show how much money they can make with NO promotion/marketing at all - its all self made. when the big shots see this they think they can mass produce that and make a fortune. I've yet to see it done. What makes those fanboys so loyal is the very fact that it is "underground" and not mainstream. As one poster said, Tuckers only chance is being a behind the scenes guy, but as what? a talent appraiser? A writer? Eh, I don't think so, one story is a dick/fart/midget/slut joke different then the other, its all the same.

"Guess what chump? He's probably more successful than you. Does he make shit up? Who the fuck cares? True or fake, his stories are hilarious. When you watch TV or read a book do you complain that the actors/authors make shit up?

Tucker Max is a character. Stop being jealous of his character and enjoy a laugh or two."

Well guess what chump? I bet Tucker Max is not more successful, unless you are still reading his book in 2003. Remember the one that was marginally ok and you weren't too embarrassed to buy?

And yes, he makes shit up just look at his crappy site built for teenage boys and insecure men. As for "Who the fuck cares?" - well fuck, you stupid twat, did you read this blog?

"True or Fake" or whatever the fuck you mean by that, Tucker is not that funny anymore. He had a niche before but he is done now. The man has no humor, balls, charisma or star power left. (Not that he had a lot of those things before.) His stories are not hilarious, and the only thing that keeps him going is his circle jerk of a message board.

And, when we read books and watch t.v. we don't expect characters who go by the label of "non fiction", or "fratire" or whatever he does these days, to make their shitty lives up so a bunch of wannabe losers and ugly girls can kiss his ass over the internet.

Nobody here is jealous of Tucker Max, and if he is half the "asshole/poser hater/fuck the system pussy" he pretends to be then he should come here and say something. I guess things are a lot different for him when he doesn't have his censored moderators, and he can't just run away from a fight.

Does Tucker MaXXX have his TV show yet? He must be really angry if he doesn't, considering that Anthony DiMeo III is a S.A.G. actor.

Ant-nee and Tucker have a lot in common - two no-talent jerks from rich families who are desperately trying to "be somebody."

Tucker should just start making self-produced amateur pornos. He already can sign up Bunny and Jada (those pics are FUGLY btw). He has an audience that will buy them. That way he can be like Dirk Diggler - "a real big star."

How come nobody is calling out Tucker on Hoo-Ah as a complete fabrication? Tucker tried to get into the Special Forces, failed miserably, and then created the Nick character to compensate for his own inadequacies. He made this shit up, and nobody is calling him on it.

Does anybody think those letters that come from “past hookups that work in the entertainment industry in Hollywood” or “friends that are working in a PR Firm in New York” actually wrote those letters for him in his defense are actually real? Let’s get real; those letters are so obliviously written by him that it’s pathetic. Actually, it’s embarrassing. But of course, don’t expect his fanboys to accept that bit of skepticism.

In my honest opinion, 20% of the things on his sites (Tard Blog, Hoo-Ah, etc) may have some truth to them. The rest of the 80% is complete bullshit.

I know this is a Tucker Max related blog so I apologize for derailing the topic. I promise it will eventually get around to with Tucker.

I've read Jada's blog for a long, long time. BTM - Before Tucker Max. Then she was just Jade, a woman struggling to find herself and figure out her life and deal with her past. That's the blog I loved. Right after she fucked Tucker and wrote her post about it her blog changed. It was like she got a whiff of what it would be like to be on Tucker or even Bunny's level and have so many readers. Her blog became one long publicity stunt. I think she was so thrilled to have that kind of attention ATM (after Tucker Max) that she got used to it and when she saw that it didn't last she started tryign to emulate Tucker and B

I know this is a Tucker Max related blog so I apologize for derailing the topic. I promise it will eventually get around to with Tucker.

I've read Jada's blog for a long, long time. BTM - Before Tucker Max. Then she was just Jade, a woman struggling to find herself and figure out her life and deal with her past. That's the blog I loved. Right after she fucked Tucker and wrote her post about it her blog changed. It was like she got a whiff of what it would be like to be on Tucker or even Bunny's level and have so many readers. Her blog became one long publicity stunt. I think she was so thrilled to have that kind of attention ATM (After Tucker Max) that she got used to it and when she saw that it didn't last she started trying to emulate Tucker and Bunny by being angry and confrontational in the hopes of keeping people interested. It works for Tucker because his followers are angry, ignorant people. Jade had her own following before Tucker and IMHO traded that in order to be popular which is a shame because I think she would have gotten the attention to her writing that she wanted if she had stayed Jade. I don't like who Jada is and I don't read her blog with the anticipation that I used to.

A few months ago I read probably the dumbest thing I've ever seen on Tucker's message board. It was from Tucker himself.

While inflating his own ego by telling the readers how important he is, he said that the future U.S. economy would be built on media-providers such as himself. He dismissed the notion of retaining a manufacturing sector, computer science sector, and pharmaceutical sector since "all those will be outsourced anyway" [approximate quote].

So, in other words, Blogger is more important than GE, Microsoft, and Amgen put together. Yup, we'll all sit around and be productive by writing inane shit on the internet for people to read.

What the hell was he doing at the U of Chicago? Obviously he didn't learn anything.

Tucker lacks the one thing that any good brand or product requires and that's marketability. He has bombed on most of his press appearances. TV won't touch him. His print interviews make him out to be a bumbling idiot. He has no presence, no charisma or anything resembling a personality. That's why his publicity appearances are limited to book stores (where he doesn't have to talk) and college campuses (where people are naive enough to think he's telling the truth.) He's being used by his publisher to eek out a modest revenue for them. Once his shelf-life has expired they'll dump him. For now they'll promise him all kinds of deals and perks to keep him happy and on board.

call her out on her blog then, that's not what this one is about. Don't bother. She wrote a post the other day about someone she thought was a "cheap jew" and someone tried to tell her why he found that offensive and she called him a "fag." She's ignorant. Let her do herself in. That's so much more fun to watch.

I've followed Tucker Max from a link I found on cruel.com, way before he even had message board, maybe six? years ago. I found his confidence and his way of living his life the way he chose to be courageous.

But that was when I was 22.

I think a lot of people would have the balls to disregard social norms if they had their daddies money to fall back on.

Over the years he and his ass sucking mods have convinced themselves that having the power to "ban" 13 year old boys from their website somehow makes them powerful people. They all think to themselves, "What would Tucker do" before they reply to other peoples posts and if they dislike what you have to say, every other sheep on the board will agree.

The fact that Tucker won't allow any negative criticism discussed on his message board is the thing that's going to bite him in the ass and what has already led to his inevitable downfall. Having an army of ass kissing 13 year old legions moderated by elitist, soul less back stabbing superficial yes men snakes is whats kept him stagnant and convinced him that plugging away at the same old "drunk asshole" dead horse is the road to success for him. He seriously has along the way become a deluded psychotic loser computer geek who keeps his laptop and cell phone glued to his body to constantly check his traffic and call the mods from his message board to verbally felate him 24/7.This is an obvious outcome of actively seeking out "damaged" ie girls who were molested or neglected, women as the primary people he interacts with. He really thinks that because the empty shells and crazy sluts of the internet will fuck him, that he has accomplished something or that anyone other than alcoholics looking for validation, said whores and thirteen year old boys will ever take him seriously.

He has the balls (ie delusional confidence) to get his foot in the door, but hasn't got the intelligence or personality to actually pull it off. His charade only gets him so far before people realize all he is is a washed up former jock boy with a large sense of entitlement due to his growing up privilaged and his parents buying his affection.

After all these years of following his site, buying his book is one of the reasons I can no longer stomach him. Reading these "great" stories he's been "holding back for the book" was eye opening. They just don't translate well onto real paper, without the bravado and back up of his fans and internet site behind him. And it's the same thing over and over. I only bought the book because my boyfriend doesn't spend anytime on the computer, and I thought he might get a laugh out of it. Now I'm just wishing I could return it.

The second and final straw was when he started a thread asking what websites used to be great, that now are no longer enjoyable. Well that would be YOUR website Tucker, because all your "great" and "new" (hahaha) stories are being saved for your book and you never update. Just like Maddox. Yes both your websites suck now because they are NEVER updated. Of course the person who said that was flamed, mocked and banned. But Tuckers site is an epitome of what he calls the "dead malls" of the internet. But he doesn't want to admit it and that's just sad because he used to be able to hear and learn from criticism and now he thinks he's some kind of "internet" celebrity? What the fuck is that supposed to be anyway? The name for people who are too ugly to make it in the real world? The lack of pictures of himself and any of these "hot" girls over all these years would lead me to believe that is what he means. His "protecting" their privacy which is bullshit because these girls obviously want attention from anyone that will give it to him. He's actually protecting his reputation because most of the fucked in the head women he pulls are fat/fugly/or insane.

to the last commenter, I think you hit the nail on the head about taking feedback constructively. People that don't are delusional, and rarely succeed in life. Successful people have learned how to constructively take negative and positive feedback, deciding which is the feedback to listen to and what to do about it. It'll end up biting him in the ass, dont worry about it.

He must really sweating it, actually, since his net popularity can only take him so far for so long. He's gotta deliver on his hubris. This next book better be a doozy or he needs to get better at Hollywood politics. Or, I guess he could coattail ride one of his Rudius "proteges", but Bill Dawes is about the only one I see really making it. the others are destined for short-term fame from quick published ha-ha books, at most.

notadrunkslut, you mentioned some points in your first post. The reason why I created this blog and why I think this blog is necessary is because Tucker does not allow any criticism of him or his actions on his website forum.

He tries to paint himself as some kind of diety to which he should all look up. In reality, he's just a 31 year old guy who's never had to work because his family is rich.

The fact that he won't allow any criticism speak volumes about his self-image. Having people kiss his ass on his website forums somehow validates his existence.

The thing that spurred me to start this blog more than anything else was when I looked at some of the pathetic reviews of his book I saw over at amazon.com. If you look at them, you'll see that the reviews of his book are overwhelmingly positive. That's only because the vast majority of the negative reviews are quickly deleted.

He might claim that he has no control over which reviews get deleted. Maybe that's true, but I would bet that he's encouraged the lemmings who follow him to submit glowing reviews for his book. This is probably true because there were already close to 30 positive reviews on amazon before the book was even released.

I also thought he was shithead for the way he treated the Vermont beauty queen. Maybe he did hook up with her. Even if what he wrote about her on his website was true (maybe some of the story as he tells it is true, but certainly not all of it), did that give him the right to try to ruin her life the way he did? Only a total piece of shit would handle that matter the way he did.

While I equate reading Jada's blog to getting my teeth drilled I find the comments about her looks uninspired. I think she's monumentally fucked up and a reckless and selfish parent but I don't agree with trying to tear someone down by attacking their looks.

Jada is ugly and has no tits. After being tricked into seeing her naked by unwittingly following a booby-trapped link, I now feel like roundhouse kicking her in the face for affronting my eyes with her nakedness and posting ten pictures of herself like anyone would want to look at her.

I mean there's nothing wrong with being ugly, but what would you say to Richard Nixon if he posted naked pictures of himself online. You'd say, "Dick Nixon, you're not the kind of person who should be posting naked pictures of yourself in public forums. Learn social standards a bit better."

Slightly off topic here, but somebody mentioned HOO-HAH net -- a blog by a former corporate vice president who left his "evil" corporation, to "test" himself and do something he could be "proud" of by joining the Green Berets.

I don't really think Tucker made that up, the details of going to basic are pretty convincing, but Tucker has been for about two years now promising "hundreds" of updates, which have never come.

Could it be that this "Nick" character finally realized he's now working for one of the evilest corporations of them all, the military industrial complex, and that "testing" himself in America's utterly pointless and destructive foreign policy is nothing to be "proud" of at all?

The only other interesting blog on his site, the one by the prison guard, has recently stopped, too, for unspecifed reasons. The rest of the stuff is mostly laughably bad. Ebner's bitchy celebrity stalking, Bunny's slut sisters pointless ramblings, that guy who stole the "Dysfunctoinal Family Circus" idea of putting new captions on old pictures, yet is somehow even more tedious. . .

Alexa tells me it's the 233,300th most popular site by rank, and Tucker can be proud to say he's the 6890th most popular site by traffic. Wow. way to go.

Better to stick with blogspot, at least you don't have to look at a bunch of ads and typeface that's too small to read, while you read people ramble on about their tedious empty lives.

I have nothing against him, I don't really care either way, more than anything I'm just disappointed that someone I thought had potential has morphed into a bloated ego'd fraud.

Everyone is saying that you are jealous etc etc but I'm glad that there is a forum where the whole truth is exposed, not just the parts he perceives to be good for his reputation.

I don't know about you, but if the day comes when I am a doughy 31 year old alcoholic with roommates and pimply teenage boys and bi-polar std-ridden sluts have to defend me on a blog and on comments on youtube, I will be a sad sad girl.

Mr. Max has a "huge" traffic website he's dedicated years of his life to, yet your blog is right up there next to his on wikipedia. And you dedicated, what? Five minutes creating a new blog? Congratulations on being the first of many, including Mrs. Vermont, to gleefully watch as he reaps what he sowed.

anonymous 4:00AM---yes, my assertions are completely correct--"Nick" is really Tucker, up to a point. Apparently Tucker DID decide he wanted to be in special forces & joined the army after a brief corporate stint in NY after law school, so that part is true (and if you re-read the entries in Hoo-ah after reading some of Tucker's stories, especially the early ones, there is no doubt that the narrator's voice is one & the same). However, what Tucker doesn't want anyone to know is that he wasn't able to make it thru the SF training & had to drop out, supposedly due to physical inability to complete the training (not hard to believe given his physique). I got this directly from one of TM's best friends, who unfortunately, can't hold his liquor & likes to talk about his buddy Tucker behind his back. Nothing wrong with TM wanting to be in the SF & serve his country, but it is such a poser move to try & live the life that he was physically/mentally unable to via his character "Nick". Not to mention just the flat out lies that TM has publicly created trying to hide "Nicks" identity. The whole Hoo-ah BS is typical of his writing--create characters that do & say what TM wants, whether there is any basis for reality or not. Why haven't there been any updates, especially detailing SF training, and then in-field updates for 2+ years? Maybe b/c TM, despite his vivid imagination, has no reality based incidents on which to craft his story around, and I'm sure TM is smart enough to know that anyone who has actually been thru the training, or operational, will be able to call BS on anything that is not accurate. There may come a day when TM is able to update Hoo-ah, but only b/c a couple of his fan-boys have actually made it to SF training & may be able to report to TM what it is really like.

interesting point, the writer's voice does sound the same! and the intro story seems written by either a wanna-be, or an actual military member who wrote what they know attracts the attention of civilians. There's a certain level of details a civilian would never be able to capture to really write realistically.

too fucking funny, TM wrote Hoo-ah.

actually, I kinda like thinking of Tucker basically knowing he's a loser in regards to this pursuit. And it's fun to think of how petulant his fat face looked as they pulled and all the successive humiliation dropouts have to go through.

and what ever happened to just wanting to serve?? i dont know how the army does it, but SF designation should only come after a soldier has proven themselves in regular ground forces, I think.

but even if tucker failed out of the special forces training, he'd still be in the regular army. he'd have completed basic training as well as ait and would be assigned to some other division. it even says so on hoo-ah, and that part i'm sure he didn't make up.

so why isn't he still in the army now? do you mean to say that he couldn't even hack basic?

Oh man, I read Hoo-ah and it is so obviously Tucker Max. Even the way he switches tenses (a habit Max himself admits he has)is evident, not to mention other subtle writing similarities. This website should do an article detailing all the foibles and exposing the fraud.

although, after reading it, it really does seem like a tucker max wet dream:

"i'm a super-tough amazing athlete; i even played basketball in college. i'm super-smart too, i get perfect scores on every test and amazing grades. i also fuck beautiful women however much i want, and make crazy amounts of money. i listen to rap cause i'm just that cool."

it reads exactly like a TM wet dream, esp the part about "Nick" being a VP at an F500 company. In Tucker's dreams, ha! I believe TM's only corporate gig was a failed summer at a law firm, so he even fucked that up.

He's doing what's done constantly on the net, making up a fairy tale life. Facing reality for him will be very interesting as he gets into his 30s...

There are lots of givaways on hoo-rah that it is Tucker's wet dream. The biggest is the fact that Tucker wrote a paper in his last year of law school, probably the fall of 2000 or spring of 2001 about terrorism as it relates to the law, and in the stories the author "Nick" states that he wasn't suprised by the fact that 9/11 happened, because when he was in college he wrote a paper on the failed anti-terrorism policies of the Clinton administration.

The problem is that I think we can tell from the chronology in the stories and Nick's alleged age that he would have been in his last year of college in about 1996. Al Queada wasn't really known by the government, much less college thesis writers, until about that time. Point being, there is no way a college student wrote a paper about the failed anti-terrorism policies of the Clinton administration in 1996.

-Extremely wealthy. (Tucker wishes he was)-Extremely athletic. (Tucker definitely is not)-VP for one of top CEOs in New York. (Tucker tried and failed in corporate law)-A super genius who gets top scores in all standardized tests. (Tucker is not)-An Ivy League graduate. (Tucker is not)-A savant who can learn any language after only a few weeks of exposure. (Please, while people like this exist, it's extremely, EXTREMELY rare)-A proficient basketball player. (Tucker plays and sucks at basketball)-Tall - descriptions suggest he's over 6 feet easy. (Tucker caps at 5'11" which is an issue for him)-Good with the ladies. Apparently he can dump his fiance of so many years, then go on a drinking binge right afterward and somehow successfully fuck Ukranian models in the process, with little to no moral guilt for his actions. (Fits Tucker's view on women)-A capable writer (I give Max that one, though the tense flaw really shines through)-After years of working for a F500 company and apparently "wheeling and dealing" his way to the top for his company, he does an abrupt 180 and not only quits, but gives the corrupt old CEO who siphons money from his workers and spends it on drugs and hookers a taste of karmic justice. This scene plays out like a 1000000 bad screenplays out there. (I'm sure Tucker's will be the bad 1000001th)

Despite all his success and prowess, Nick is STILL dissatisfied with his life and his father STILL does not approve of him. Insert your own Psych 101 jokes on Tucker's life here.

-Hates lawyers (as does Tucker)-Classifies people as, and then hates, "Metrosexuals" (as does Tucker)-Felt a burning desire to escape the confines of the life that everyone expected of him, and acted on that desire and escaped(which Tucker has done, to his credit)-Distant relationship with his mother and father-Rejects a committed relationship with a woman to maintain his freedom and pursue his "calling".

Finally, is it a coincidence that he hasn't updated the site since "Reaper" was called out?

I also thought that TM might be living life vicariously thru some of his board posters. There are some no-shit military dudes there, and corporate types (amongst the idiots). I wouldnt be surprised if some of their posted stories turn up in some form in TM's future writing.

hey Tucker, since I know youre reading this, how's that board update going? You realize that in the Special Forces or the corporate world, your inability to complete simple tasks when you say you would get you fired or dead?

anonymous 2:50--Reaper was a guy TM met thru the boards, and they quickly became drinking buddies. Reaper is a loser, who TM idolized b/c he could talk guns, had the near SF background (ranger I believe), and basically had lived the life that TM wished he could have. Reaper on the other hand used Tucker to get laid (Tucker even threw him a "going away" party in Chicago after Reaper told TM that he was going to work for one of the US private security companies (think Blackwater) in Iraq. Tucker then was led to believe that Reaper had set it up so that he could fly over to Iraq, visit with the SF guys at Blackwater, etc., even go on missions as an observer. Of course TM ate this up, bragging to all of his friends that he was being given this special treatment b/c he was famous, and b/c of all of his friends in the military. Turns out none of it was true: Reaper never went to Iraq, despite sending TM emails from there & reporting on fire-fights, etc from the field; he was married, living in some shithole in Michigan, with a new daughter to his credit as well. His trips down to Chicago to hang with Tucker were simply excuses to get away from his pathetic life, and live in a fantasy life that TM supported (b/c it gave TM the chance to live out his own fantasy life & hang with ex soldiers etc). When it blew up, b/c one of Tucker's fanboys had the common sense to look at the IP address that the emails were originating from, Tucker was furious and did one of his famous "calling out" on the message boards, as if anyone but a few hundred fanboys gives a shit that Tucker was made a fool of. And people wonder why people who know Tucker for any length of time think he is such a douchebag.

Highest comedy on the Reaper callout thread. Read a couple of pages: what a bunch of losers. However I thought this quote, in reference to Tony, was especially poigniant as it could easily describe Tucker: She said "Wow. These are indicators of serious issues. Really serious issues. An armchair diagnosis would be borderline personality disorder, and I say that because of the obvious symptoms of: desiring attention, spotlighting self-fabricated issues about one's self, and grandstanding for no known reason. He seems like a pretty nice guy...but he needs to realize what's going on in his head and to talk to someone. Soon."

Wow. These are indicators of serious issues. Really serious issues. An armchair diagnosis would be borderline personality disorder, and I say that because of the obvious symptoms of: desiring attention, spotlighting self-fabricated issues about one's self, and grandstanding for no known reason. He seems like a pretty nice guy...but he needs to realize what's going on in his head and to talk to someone. Soon."

does tucker ever get tired of fabricating e-mails from his "fuckbuddies" (he has so many you know)?

the Reaper thread is hilarious. Tucker's lesson learned is about not using blind judgement, too bad he's didnt really learn the lesson and is teaching dozens of 18 year old boys not to. He bought Reaper's crap because he was so eager to and he's got a permanently warped sense of reality from deluding himself so long. The multiple layers of irony are incredible.

I think DRex knows whats up. I think he finds TM ultimately harmless and entertaining, so he puts up with him, but I think he'd dump Max in a heartbeat if he had to. Shakespeare, anyone?

Some of you are bordering on stalking this guy so you better be careful. Bunny is real. She visited a friend of mine in LA. I saw pictures. She's real. Her blog is hosted on Tucker's servers. I hate Tucker as much as the next guy but you kids are looking for shit to talk about and this is becoming a gossip blog. Tucker is not writing multiple blogs but I will bet any amount of money he posts most of his own board comments and has multiple usernames. He creates characters and dramas to keep it interesting. I don't believe Tony was ever real at all and anyone he said knew Tony was probably also fabricated.

One way to tell if someone is faking their comments is to look at the urls used in the comment signature info. If the URL is a real blog then it's probably a real comment. If the url is a blogger profile URL but not an actual blog URL then it's probably a fake comment. Tucker and his crew of merry followers all have written fake comments on their blogs to make people think they had all kinds of traffic. Even the negative ones. Their more rabid fans will jump in and save them and write all sorts of fanboy compliments about them.

Crash was never Tucker's girlfriend. She's the girl who supposedly got I Fucked Tucker Max tattooed on her vagina or near it. The only reason I think Tucker even mentioned her was because he was proud of the fact that she got his name tattooed on her body. I think if he had his way he would have never admitted to being with Jada if she didn't have a blog. He knew she'd write about it so he went public with it first then linked to her blog. Gotta suck knowing that the only reason why women will fuck you is because they think you'll make them famous. Gotta suck more to be the woman doing it only to get a measly link on his blog.

This is starting to get really ridiculous. Tucker Max is REAL. Bunny is REAL. Don't be one of these bullshit moron conspiracy theorist. Yes, they're all full of shit and pathetic, but don't just sit around and pull shit out of your ass.Be logical, be rational, and continue busting TM's chops! ;)

your mother said that your father likes to dress you up as a 15 year-old girl when he mercilessly pounds your gaping anus. at least that's what i think she said - her mouth was filled with cock (as usual).

A Will County man was charged Thursday with repeatedly having sex with an 18-year-old dog, a cockapoo, sheriff's police said.

Dwayne D. Page, 27, who was living with his mother near Elwood in Jackson Township, was charged with having sexual contact with an animal and animal abuse, police said.

"He's one sick guy," sheriff's office spokesman Pat Barry said.

Cockapoos are a mix between cocker spaniels and poodles, according to the Cockapoo Club of America's Web site.

Sheriff's Detective Dan Jungles received a call Thursday from someone who either observed or heard of the abuse, Barry said. He said Jungles brought Page in to be interviewed and determined that Page had "ongoing" sexual contact with the female dog, named Pepper.

Page, formerly of Joliet, is on two years' probation after pleading guilty in April to indecent solicitation of a child, according to court records. He was required to register as a sex offender and did so at his mother's home in the 25000 block of Tehle Road, according to Illinois' sex offender Web site.

Page was being held Thursday at the Will County Jail and is scheduled to appear in bond court today.

i do hope tucker posts the script; i predict it will be the most trite, boring, pointless, irony-free piece of writing i've ever read.

fact is, you can't take a class on how to be funny, even at the university of chicago. tucker is not very intelligent, nor does he have a very good grasp on the dynamics of humor so the chances of writing comedy gold are really 1 in 1,000,000,000.

I found a reference to Tucker Max in his article about a young woman's memoir about being an alcoholic:http://www.statepress.com/issues/2006/11/17/style/698908

The writer of the article obviously thinks that Tucker Max is full of crap because she writes: "Some of her stories seem like they would make good material for Tucker Max or CollegeHumor, but unfortunately, they are startling and true."

Comedy Central has a long history of producing crap shows that either quickly get cancelled or last no longer than 2 seasons.

This includes, but is not limited to Con, Too Late with Adam Carolla, The Graham Norton Effect, Strip Mall, Lets Bowl, The "New" Man Show, I'm with Busey, and about 15 other cancelled shows that they tried to promote by airing it after new episodes of South Park.

This is a network that only a few years ago, played about six hours of old SNL shows per day due to lack of anything better to air.

Even today, they rely heavily on hours of Mad TV reruns, replaying The Daily Show + Colbert Report 3-4 times/day, and one unfuny comedy movie from the 90s per day.

Even if Max's show ever does air, it is sure to fit right in with the rest of the forgotten crap.

I'm shocked he managed to get this far with Comedy Central. But I can't see him coming up with a successful pilot show. Seriously, what are they going to do on the show? Show a dumpy man typing away at his computer for a half hour while getting drunk and typing posts to his message board? How long would a show like that last?

You have a good idea going with calling out Tucker Max. The only thing is, you have a few fundamental flaws in carrying out your ideas that keep you from being taken seriously and having Max completely fall on his face.

The fact that you routinely try and point out what kind of a jackass TM is, yet come off like a complete insecure prick yourself does not help your cause. If you are going to take him down, have some decency and rise above him yourself. Also, your immature fanboys that make gay jokes and call everyone virgins loses its fangs after about a minute.

Either way, you should stop having counter arguements to Max that are anonymous, since you are trying to counter Max. Since your website's existance he has actually increased traffic and may have a TV show. Either way, I hope your fanboys flame me and shit b/c I'm never checking this site again.

Looking between you and TM is like looking at CNN or Fox, either way you are going to get an extreme slant, but I hate them both. You and Max are both pathetic, just on opposite ends of the spectrum from each other. You because you are rabidly obsessed over some guy you don't even know, and him b/c he is obsessed over himself, and he sucks.

Sadly some random poster, notsadrunkslut, summed up in a more intelligent and elegant fashion what Tucker is, than you have in your whole blog's existence. With all this passion, why don't you guys do something about politics, the environment and the general state of the world. That is some stuff worth caring about. Now flame away fanboys.

Tucker's recent TMMB quote about the pilot:"I don't like comparing it to anything currently on TV, but if I had to, I would say to picture a Sex and the City for guys, done in the vein of my stories. That's close enough."

Cheers to notadrunkslut and the anonymous woman who posted the fact that a lot of people miss. Tucker Max HATES women. That he goes looking for them, and the most damaged ones, makes him more fucked up and scary than any of the women he's been with.

its really funny that you say you created the blog to "expose him as a douche bag" he openly says he is on the book and in the book you are an idiot and he does admit these women are crazy the chick saying he left her out of his stories is obviously jealous of him he never leaves out any detail and maybe some of these stories are a little exaggerated so what? hes still ten times as succesful as you losers who only spend time trying to find things wrong with him... and there is a movie based off of i hope they serve beer in hell which is based off accounts of his life.... go jack off alone in your basement you jealous little losers

I think this is hilarious... all of these true life stories about Tucker Max. You know what? All of you anonymous writers are as full of shit as Tucker is. The only difference is... Tucker makes me laugh! Well, now everyone pathetic attempt to call him out is pretty funny. In reality all you are doing is making him more powerful.

So funny to read this 6 years later as almost everything you said wouldn't happen, well, has. Here is the thing...this blog makes Tucker Max out to be exactly what he claims to be. I don't see how he it is outing anything. Max himself calls the girls he fucks broken and damaged. He makes it blatantly clear that these girls aren't wife material or even gf material. He judges them solely by looks. Shallow? Sure, but has Max claimed or appeared to be anything but that when it comes to who he sleeps with? Also, I find it ironic that someone would dedicate personal time to make a blog like this supposedly exposing the truth. Nice contribution to society there buddy. Thanks. The world is now a better place because of you. Or not...

So I came across this not because I don't have a life like it seems most of you people do on this "blog" but I do in fact have a life I'm just currently deployed to a place I can't say and no it's not Afghan you hippie liberal fucks on here and I was looking for answers to a question I had about bunnies book and if it ever got published don't really care either way but all of you monkeys talking shit on tucker and his life style are all idiots you want him to fail or say he's fake or an alcoholic ok fair enough given the stories but did you not in fact read them yourselves pretty sure you did which makes you all jealous fucks you want him to fail but talk to him it's exactly as he says in the site which I glanced over a couple times "any attention is good attention wether it begood or bad because he still gets paid" so keep going I'm sure he loves getting paid just like I lovemaking 80k on a six month deployment sstopworrying about someone you don't know possibly never even met or remotely know ion a personal level your the one wasting your life on someone who also probably thinks your an idiot if he wasn't famous he would be a regular guy living a life you always wanted to I've done just as much crazy stuff as the next guy or even Tucker himself and I've lived my life probably better than ninety percent of you bloggers so relax drink a beer or a couple shots and enjoy your life instead of secretly being jealous of someone else's life get off your fat ass and have fun it's not going to come knocking on your door saying hi I'm the fun exciting life you've always wanted so other people can talk shit about you or just keep wasting your life and making someone more famous as you try to bring his down and epicly fail thanks now I've got to get back to my life..... idiots (this is directedat the people talking shit if you didn't notice)