How do two strong-willed, independent women like Peach and Zelda wind up abducted all the time? College Humor presents the only answer that makes sense.

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This makes perfect sense. Ganondorf and Bowser always seem to go great lengths towards making sure their captives are as comfortable as possible. There's certainly never any torture or brutality involved in their crimes. They are just a couple of power-hungry maniacs with unlimited resources that don't mind tossing a bit of cash towards keeping their hostages happy.