Limerick Poems About Funny | Funny Limerick Poems

For "Show Me the Funny (part two)"
There once was a fellow a woggin'*
Who bumped into one who was loggin'
They had quite a spat
The ax was a bat
And the first had a lump on his noggin
* Woggers are those who get all dressed for jogging, but only go at walking speed, while vigorously pumping their arms to delude themselves that they are jogging.

Have I jealousy of my dear mate?
I don’t think I have any, but wait!
I sure wish I could pee
in the wood near a tree
like my husband does, standing up straight!
For Line Gauthier's Funny Limerick Contest

My penchant for writing was showing
The comments I received were ‘glowing’
But at the end of the day
I get another N/A
My success in contests is slowing!
WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON ON 1st September 2016
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO PUT YOUR CONTRIBUTION IN A COMMENT OR SOUP MAIL IT TO ME
Winners winners everywhere but not a one for me
Sadness is a heavy burden over my N/A poetry
I'll blame all my losses
on the judging albatrosses
I think I'll toss them all into the depths of the sea
WRITTEN BY LIN LANE
The contest was posted as judged
To open that link, my mouse trudged
My write was not there!
I knew, with despair,
To NA trash bin it was nudged!
WRITTEN BY SANDRA HAIGHT
Never say never again
for time will soon erase that pain
Dry your tears ,don't be sad,
who is to say what's good or bad
Someone else might love your refrain
WRITTEN BY BRIAN STRAND
I checked the list not once but twice
It wasn't there to my suffice
I sulk my head
Then cry in bed
That mean old judge she isn't nice
WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH
Wrote one that was such fun to read
To a contest I posted full speed
People thought it a hoot .
It was given the boot
Tell me what must I do to succeed!
WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS
I entered a new contest today
I didn't make the list, got N/A
That has to be so wrong
My praise was a mile long
The judge was out of it on that day
WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y
There are contests you'll never win
You'll lose before you even begin
So don't waste your time
With your best rhymes
You'll just be tossed in the N/A bin!
WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY
My words meant so much when first written
So glowing the praise they were get 'in
From the published results
I endured such insults
That my dream of a Pulitzer lay smitten
WRITTEN BY CHARLIE SMITH
I once wrote a poem that fit
All the contest descriptionsAnd it
Was praised with much grace
I was hopeful to place,
But completely forgot to submit!
WRITTEN BY AGNES KRAMPE
I put my N/As in a row
Was like a long queue to a show!
Some resigned shrugging,
Bit of sighing ‘n frowning,
But such fun, so here again I go!
WRITTEN BY SAN WOO
For new contests, these poems I write,
The others feel my writing is bright,
But when the results come out,
My name is Nowhere About,
For the judge has found it Not Alright.
WRITTEN BY JO DANIEL
My inspiration for words are on track
I pat myself on the back
What the hack, I cracked
Another N/A I’ve racked
No more entries for this maniac
WRITTEN BY EVE ROPER
As a poet wannabe, and new to this space
enthusiastic by a 1-3 place, and grace,
I feel bad for the true poets here,
My apologies but kiss my rear,
This is tongue and cheek, I’m here for the race!
Never knew what N/A did mean,
As I’m pretty new to the scene,
I'm back to support Jan,
Now folks that’s a TRUE fan
Better limericks I haven’t seen
WRITTEN BY MARK PAUL VAN DER MERWE
A funny poem I had written
Fit I thought for a competition
I'd celebrate with bacon -
The sponsor was mistaken!
A N/A has made me stay hidden
WRITTEN BY TEDDY KIMATHI

I'm a firm believer
In limerick fever
(This isn't news)
"It'll cure the blues!"
Says Jan (who is no deceiver)
Written by Jan Allison:
Writing limericks is a fine art
Yes I write about poop or a fart
But show me someone
Whose not dropped a ‘bomb’
then from poetry soup I’d depart!
Written by Lim'rik Flats:
Does art mimic life or life mimic art?
Don't ask me, I'm not too smart.
It seems the soup
Has the same poop
As watching the news (or a fart).
Drama and trauma, factions and foes,
Smiting and fighting, (hard on the nose),
Saves me the trouble
Of viewing double
Saves time, and less grief I suppose.
Written by Ray Gridley:
Raise a toast to this collaboration
Whatever your race or your nation
Just write on a whim
Lim'rick Flat's bound to grin
They are all going to be a sensation!
Written by Daniel Turner:
I know a guy called Lim'rick Flats
Writes limericks at the drop of a hat
Jan is his pal
She's quite a gal
They met in a laundry mat
Jan makes jokes about poop
he puts them in alphabet soop
drinks from the bowl
with no self control
which makes him a nincompoop
Also written by Daniel Turner:
Write all the limericks you want
but don't fart in a restaurant
people will laugh
call you riffraff
even if you're a debutante
Written by John Lawless:
oh the limerick it ain’t quite a sonnet
and the learned, they look down upon it
for they cannot grasp
its head or its ass
nor the cleansing effect of its tonic
Written by Terry Reeves:
Late for work she flew out the door
Took an express elevator to the 29th floor
Let some discreet killer farts
Nearly stopped all their hearts
Left them gagging; she'd evened the score
Written by Tim Smith:
Nonsense is here found out in the alley
Five funny lines we'll add to the tally
a smile or two
we laught till we're blue
so put out your best and join in our rally
Written by Alexis Y:
Hey what's going on in the soup?
Lim'rik Flats I want the scoop
What do you have to say?
You got poem of the day
Congrats, I shouldn't have flown the coop
Written by Jean Murray:
John is always fun.
His poems and their puns.
If you need a lift.
He has the gift.
Lim'rik Flats is number one.
psst How could I not add this to the string? ~ john

There was a guy named Al who lost his smile
And being happy and cheerful was not his style
Until he met Dan
A real funny Man
He told jokes that would just amaze and beguile
There's a funny lady who goes by the name Jan
Who spreads out loads of laughter when she can
Her writes are about poop
Or bawdiness on the soup
But bringing joy to us soupers is her ultimate plan
6-3-17

A funny movie named Boomerang,
had Eddie, Eartha and quite a gang.
Eartha Kitt was Old Lady Eloise,
namesake for scents and the likes of these.
As an elder owner, her body sang.
Eddie Murphy aimed for the top.
Old Lady Eloise was hot.
He cringed to her love notions
to get a big promotion
but the company exec she was not.
The next day he met the real boss.
All was not a complete loss.
She was a woman fine
that took his total mine
and the job at the top was the cost.
He approached and gave her a line.
She knew who he was all the time.
She gave him some talk
as to their office they walked.
For Eddie, this play was sublime.
Right then appeared Lady Eloise.
Who whispered, “I have no panties.”
While Eddie Murphy turned red
the exec winked and said,
“She’s the one not to displease.”
4/9/18
FAVORITE COMEDY MOVIE
Sponsored by: Alexis Y.
1st place

I tickled funny bones of five Souper men
So I gave thought to trying it once again
In the order they replied
My sarcasm was applied
As I gently heckled them with ink and pen
First, Tom Cunningham, who "liked my collection"
To femme limericks he had no objection
But now it's his turn
Tom, forgive the burn
I heard you're headed for a house of correction
Jerry T Curtis said to "keep them coming"
But I think that lately he's been slumming
He's all aflutter
And starts to stutter
When his lady friend starts his heart strumming
Then there was the poet of romance, Tim Smith
His sweet words of seduction are not a myth
I know it to be truth
Don't ask meIt's uncouth
I don't kiss and tell so I'm pleading the fifth
John Gondolf said my limericks made him "chuckle"
His comments are always filled with honeysuckle
But if he wants a date
I'll have to castigate
I have a black belt in the use of my knuckles
"I needed smiles and giggles," said Greg Barden
His poems are flowers blooming in a garden
But some words are couture
Fertilized with manure
Now I guess I'll have to beg for Greg's pardon
Gentlemen, I ask forgiveness for this spoof
My humorous parodies should be the proof
That I like all of you
And don't mind if ya do
Get even in your own limericks of reproof

For The Pun Of It
(Limerick Suite)
There's the absent minded professor
He was a known fancy cross dresser
Male or female who knew
He walked funny too
Leaving everyone a guesser
~~~~~~~
Franky wiener loves to eat hot dogs
It makes him jump high like big green frogs
The onions and relish
Make his stomach hellish
Ate to many, now feels like the hogs
~~~~~~~
I'm leaving you all my possession
First I have to make a confession
But you must promise me
Pay all my bills you see
If nothing is left blame recession
~~~~~~~
Sherlock Holmes said I've seen that before
Doctor Watson try to find out more
Do you know what I mean?
But you must not be seen
Until we get to the final core
~~~~~~~
Erich J.Goller
Copyright 3.1.2011

February Funny Bone
I know a young lady so fine
Her good looks almost made me blind
I bought some dark shades
To cut down the glaze
And now that young lady is mine
Curtis Moorman
5 February 2012
For Linda-Maries contest

The Roses are Red
The Violets are Blue
The sunshine has got in me
And the Devil has, too.
The Sunshine’s hit Dragon
Oh what will we do?
He poo’d on my Roses
Oh I know what I’ll Do!
So I Gave him a bath
Most wonderous thing!
He’ll be stuck in the tub…
Come Hell or next Spring!
I know, I know
But The Devil won’t let go!
So I’ll Run to McDonald’s
For them lucky guys
These to bestow!
There once was a guy named Elliot
Who’s funny bone hasn’t broken yet-iot
But never fear… Grandpa Troll is here
Laughing and rolling on the floor like an id-iot
I know… I know… Don’t cry… at it!
Dragon’s the one who wrote-iot
Hey Dragon… I was THE ONE who started writing it… I say!
Well Yes… it WAS funnier that way
Well, OK! YOU WIN… I said with a grin…
Your such a silly Dragon-iot… I said with shagrin
Think he’ll get that one… in the end?
Well, Maybe just incase, I’d better start running… I say
My friends… won’t tell Dragon so it’ll be OK
Well…Maybe?… Naw… No Way!
And No…Dragon! I Did NOT get Carried AWAY!
Naw… No Way!

The mouse in our house is a rat,
I'm now quite certain of that.
It's not little and cute,
It's long and uncouth.
Can't wait til I hear it go splat!
11/16/12
(An apology to all animal loversI really do not
want to kill itI love animals tooI just want the
germy rodent out of my house, and I want him to
stay gone!)
For Andrea's "Show Me the Funny Part II" contest

I am a basset hound and I love to play
I can run and jump all day
I really love magic and tricks
I also love chocolate bics
Yummy! They are so good
I would eat a packet a day if I could
My name is Lady and here is a story all about me
I'm a funny looking dog you see:
Lady was home alone
All she had was her green plastic bone
Her owners had gone out for the day
And Lady really wanted to play
Miserable, she lay on the ground with her long floppy ears
With watery eyes, it seemed as though she was about to burst into tears
Suddenly she perked up when she heard a squeaking sound coming from the house
Lady became excited, she hoped it was a mouse
She barked out loud and ran towards the sound
Lady was such a clever basset hound
With her long nose, she sniffed out the little mouse in his hiding place
The whole morning turned into a playful ‘dog and mouse’ chase!
The mouse was too fast for her and escaped through a small crack in the wall
He was terrified of this funny looking dog who stood two feet tall
Exhausted, Lady flopped down in her basket to rest
She had tried her very, very best
She closed her eyes and had a long nap
And dreamt that she managed to squeeze through the scary dog flap
When Lady woke up, her throat felt dry
She needed a gallon of water to drink and she alone knew why!
The sun was shining and it was hot
She found her bowl and gulped down the lot
Lady looked at the new dog flap
She lifted up one of her paws and gave it a sharp tap
She took a chance and pushed herself through the gap
Relief flooded through her, she had made it out of the flap
Out in the sun
It was time for more fun
Lady headed to the beach
It wasn’t far, within her reach
Calm blue sea with the tiniest of waves
Grottos and amazing caves
Lady’s paw marks were all over the sand
She loved to play by the sea and on land
Cool air blew around her as she splashed around in the sea
What a great feeling it was to be free!
The aroma of food was all around
She was always hungry, this hilarious hound
An ice-cream van was parked nearby
Lady drooled and just stood by
A young couple spotted the little dog sitting down on her own
Her sad brown eyes caught their attention, they each bought her a cone
Lady wished that she could shout
She clenched both cones in her mouth
She licked off the chocolate ice-cream and wolfed down the rest

(Laughter and Happiness, and the negative effects of its overuse!!)
Laughter and Happiness, men used to say,
Is medicine you should have everyday -
So they laughed and laughed and laughed,
Till their funny bones were halved -
And out of THAT they couldn't find a way...
:D :D
For Catie's L&H Contest

She said it so matter-o-factly,
that girl, Morgan Kay Ackley.
"One day it will be so
I'll be rolling in the dough!"
But being a pizza maker what do you mean exactly?
NOTE: This was another funny story at workNot exactly my joke, but I turned into a limerick for laughter's sakeA girl was telling me about how she's be famous one day..how she'll be "rolling in the dough"..and I was like, "aren't you doing that already?"..Ooohh good times they were..good times.

In the month of February 'twas fate
We chose our special wedding date
A love, I cannot explain
Couldnâ€™t wait to take his name
So why do I still hyphenate?
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 30, 2012
for Linda-Marie's February Funny Bone contest
First place finish

There once was a Chihuahua named Hairy
Wispy as air, white his hair, and scary
Like a ghost he'd appear
Quiet, soft as cashmere
Sometimes it seems he's dropped from the aerie

aerie( aer-y or ey-rie) 1 a lofty nest of any bird...2 a house, fortress, or the likelocated high on a hill or mountain
Inspired by: Team Poetry Soup
Contest: Funny Kid's Poem Contest
Written: October 09, 2015

When an old fashioned poet named Will
wrote a sonnet he chose words to thrill,
in a metrical time
with a word perfect rhyme
fourteen lines gently flowed from his quill.
This William he also wrote plays
that reflected the life in those days,
from Scotland McBeth
then to Denmark for death,
that Prince Hamlet he had funny ways.
With Anne Hathaway he'd often spoon
an experience he used very soon,
to pen a romance
put Juliet in a trance,
the very first print, Mills and Boon.

The Leap Day Groom
Cheap Fred, wishing seldom to pay
to celebrate his wedding day,
then chose February
twenty-ninth to marry.
Few anniversaries that way!
Written by Andrea Dietrich
for The February Funny bone Limerick Contest
of Linda-Marie The Sweetheart of P.S.
Also For the "Any Poem You Posted This Week
Poetry Contest of : Destroyer ~ Poet

Once came along a groundhog named Phil
Looked for shadow in winters chill
Even top hat and coat
Didn't stop whining's gloat
Stuck six more weeks paying heating bill
Written by
Katherine Stella 2/4/12
Entry For
Linda Marie's
February Funny Bone Contest
G.LALL

An extremely talkative person, he was.
He was! He was! He was!
He talked about this, and he talked about that.
He talked about anything he could thunk of..
Even that funny old hat.
Garrulous and fat, he was.
He talked about this, and he talked about that.
While riding on his bicycle home.
He found a baby cat.
A kitten it was, so pretty and nice.
Now, it was time to roll the dice.
He talked about this, and he talked about that.
He talked about anything he could think of..
Even that funny ten foot wall.
Now, he had time to make a call.
From the telephone, he made his call.
He talked so much, it made him fall.
Now, a doctor it was, he needed to call..
Because he talked about this, and he talked about that..
An extremely talkative person, he was..
He was! He was! He was!
Chatterbox-Poem-By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2005,2014..
ALL rights reserved..

"Coffee House"
a savory swig energizes bones
one swallow electrifies tasting cones
an instant caffeine rush
causes blah cheeks to pink blush
pure Pepsi creates haunting moans.
a tingling sensation provides power
charging battery for 24 hours
but "diet" won't do
the "hard stuff's" my brew
Pepsi fragrance as potent as flowers.
one day when Life's journey is done
and "the other side's" calling for fun
no Coke, Dew, or "7"
as I step into Heaven
hoping Pepsi is their "Number One".

We've conquered the "Moon", says my source!
Young folks, will soon go there, in force!
What I'd like to know,
is when Honeymooners go,
will they call "what they do", Outercourse?
Contest: Show me the funny - Part 2

There was a charming prince searching for a bride
He wants Cinderella to be his future wife
She rushed home before midnight and the prince goes for a tag
But he stumbled on her shoe and the stairs broke his head
And poor Cinderella must clean the chimney for life
For "Show me the Funny contest"
by Andrea Dietrich

Resolutions fruitful tricks on mind,
Some reality, some so unkind,
They are just promises.
Other compromises,
They often suspend and rob one blind.
Though we keep on making them each year,
Sometimes bringing smiles or single tear,
No, matter what they are.
Ordinary or bizarre,
We take new steps, staying all old fear.
My resolution, be more funny.
Stir my funny bone for my honey.
To bring her more laughter,
Sharing smiles thereafter,
We need, joy, happiness, not money.
Written for
Sponsor Carolyn Devonshire
Contest Name New Year's Resolutions

On Valentine's Day Cupid rules,
A bow and arrow his trusty tools.
He shoots an arrow at a he,
Then takes aim at a she,
And they both become lovesick fools.
2/4/12
Kim Merryman for Linda-Marie's February Funny Bone contest.

Once again the moon is full
The hoot of an owl I hear
Beware tonight
I may you bite
As a wolf I must appear
Once again the moon is full
A hunger begins to gnaw
Something to go
Is far too slow
Faster will be if it's raw
Once again the moon is full
A victim I quickly find
Fearful is not
Giggles a lot
Others are also unkind
Once again the moon is full
Beneath it I stand alone
Something is wrong
My ears are long
A fluffy tail I have grown
Once again the moon is full
In a mirror now I stare
How can it be?
No wolf I see
Only an big funny hare
Once again the moon is full
In shadows I hide away
For dawn I wait
Accept my fate
I’m having a bad hare day

Can I borrow your funny bone for a while
Hopefully I can wiggle it and give you a chuckle or smile
To tell you about a sailor
They called Bob Marley’s Wailer
From the piles you could hear his voice for a mile

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Bar-B-Que
One summery day long ago,
my hubby and I thought we'd go
to barbecue we
accepted with glee
by newlyweds, we got to know.
I said we'd bring baked pork and beans,
a salad of mixed garden greens,
and also we'd take
a chocolate cake
and six-pack of beer, by all means.
Day came in a blink of an eye.
We packed up our picnic supply;
arrived at their house,
just me and my spouse,
the only ones who had come by.
We walked to the back of the yard;
and passed their guard dog with regard.
And they so surprised
to see us, chastised,
"Oh no, you have caught us off guard!"
You see, in their pool, they were found
in 'birthday suits' splashing around.
"The picnic's next week,"
they yelled with a shriek!
Embarrassed, we ran homeward bound!
Sandra MHaight
~1st Place~
Contest: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The........
Sponsor: Robert Haigh
Judged: 07/23/2018
Fiction

~~Backstage Disaster~~
Learned lots of things in theater workshop class
I was surprised when I learned I had passed
Just one tool I'd not mastered
The great Nail Gun Disaster
I had nailed the director in the _ss
______________________________
I only come to read a few poems, once a monthAfter reading Carolyn’s funny limerick, she encouraged the limerick I entered In Pd’s contest.
Two of the greatest women I follow throughout the soup site.
All her poems are full of inspiration :D

Something funny on the way to the forum,
I found a page that said "ipsum lorum".
What does it mean?
Is it something obscene?
Is it meaningful or only decorum?
Followed by the words "dolor sit amet"
My heart raced and I broke into a sweat.
My eyes started to strain;
Was I going insane?
Ha! Trick question, don't answer that yet.
"Consectetur adipisicing elit",
Now I was ready to pitch a big fit.
Confused and perplexed,
I scanned the rest of the text.
It was as easy to read as sanskrit.
I seriously considered going for unction,
'Til I remembered the famous search function.
Google quickly displays,
"Lorum Ipsum's a phrase
Commonly found on pages under construction!"