I Get Blue Balls All the
Time! What Can I Do To Avoid It?!?

Dear Couch,

I have read a few of your
postings regarding
blue balls, and your advice seems to be restricted to
' don't get worked
up.' Right. Easy for you to say. I enjoy
cuddling with a women very much,
but I have always have a problem
relaxing, and nearly always get blue balls. The
women rarely understand
when I stop cuddling and start wincing in pain. I've
tried counting to
1000 and singing songs in my head to try and keep my mind off
sex, and to
just enjoy being with them. It never works. I don't want to use it
as an
excuse for sex, but instead it becomes an excuse for me ending the
date
early and me barely able to walk. I don't want to rush things with
my new
girlfriend, but man, there has to be a way to relax and give your
manhood a rest
without pushing her away. I'm 24. This has been going on
for years.

Well apparently you didn't click on that little 'Blue
Balls'
link in our January 2000 column or
our June
1999 column! Otherwise you would
have come across this
helpful
link about blue balls which is far more
accurate than this
erroneous
posting by Elf Sternberg about the
same. Remember that the state of sexual
excitement results in
increased blood flow to the genitalia in both men and
women. This is
actually what the Viagra pill does. It creates the same blood
chemistry as sexual arousal allowing blood to fill the penis and testicles.
The state of blue balls comes about when those two little guys have
too much
blood sharing their surrounding sack. This results in them
being squeezed. You
can actually experience this yourself while
reading this column by grasping
your balls very, very, firmly for the
next twenty minutes or so.

But you're main concern seems to
be about avoiding this pain.
Well for starters, you should quit squeezing
your nuts now. As we've described,
this is the result of prolonged
sexual excitement without ejaculation. So you
only have two choices here.
Find a way to relax and stop thinking about sex and
avoid lengthy
make-out sessions which are not going to result in you comeing. In
the
event you are unable to accomplish either of these, excuse yourself
from
your lady, go to the restroom, and jerk-off. Otherwise just accept
the fact that
you are physiologically inclined to engorge your nuts more
than other guys.

Once you have blue balls, you can relieve it
from masturbation.
The pain will become more acute with ejaculation
but will subside more quickly
than doing nothing at all. Besides
masturbation you can try some strong coffee.
Yes, coffee. Caffeine is
a vasal constrictor which will help your swollen nuts
return to
normal. It may also help you avoid the condition in the first place.
If you are drinking alcohol during your 'cuddling' then you're helping
yourself
get blue balls as booze is a vasal dilator, allowing more
blood into your scrotum.
As we briefly mentioned in our
past columns, you can also gain relief
from the proverbial
cold shower. A cold water nut soak will cause the
blood vessels around your
package to constrict allowing blood to flow
out, not in, from around your nuts.
Again, the initial feeling will be
a more acute ache because the scrotum will
try to rise closer to the
body (even into it) to keep your sperm at an optimal
warm temp.
Basically what you're complaining about here is being a healthy male.
So quit your damn whining or get a sex change!!

** Just a
little reader note guys will try and use blue balls
as an excuse to
entice you to have sex. They'll act like they will be in
excruciating
pain, close to death, if they don't ejaculate. Well that's all part
of
being a horny guy so don't give in to this manipulation.

If you find a dead link in this past column please help us and other readers by reporting it in the
form below. If you know of an equally useful working link please include it.