I decided to stop. First impressions and bad experiences stay with a person (I think, therefore I am) and have a lasting impact. Maybe, I got too comfortable here with my reasons why I am leaving. I am leaving Aikido all together. I think it is for the best. I can't do something that I don't understand, that would be the Founder's spiritual side. I agree you have to believe it to be true to progress and stick with Aikido, if you really want it. My dojo made its own kool aid; I think they follow blindly. Ignorantly, mimicking something they aren't. Losing themselves in a fantasy world facilitated by the spiritual core of Aikido.

Why should I continue to stay, if I don't want to be part of that line of thinking? If I do find another dojo with the least bit of deference to spiritual core in Aikido, I will become very cynical and end up leaving on worse terms then now. I now have a history.

I am not an existentialist, into metaphysics, or spiritual realms of thought. I am not even sure I used those terms right. Aikido and how it defines the world of spirituality and life isn't for me. I love doing Aikido at one time, but the whole experience is best summed up by saying, my experience was a Flowers For Algenron experience. I am returning to Rugby.