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It's been just over a month since I last saw him, threw him up in the air and caught him, got lost in the bliss of his gorgeous smile and comforting laugh. But I guess I'm used to it. I guess you get on with things and try not to think about them. About family. About friends back home. That's University, and I've done it all before.

But I just found this picture on my phone, and it cracked open the gate, a sliver of sadness sneaking out and clasping onto my stomach. I smile, I laugh, I care, but today, I've been wearing that all too familiar mask to do it.

I got back in, sat down, had some tea by myself, and looked at the picture again.

He is fascinated by Aeroplanes, my little brother. Every other weekend my parents will take him to the Field near the Airport and he stands by the tall, cross stitched fences and points out every plane that lands, and every plane that takes off. I miss putting him on my shoulders and pointing with him. I miss not seeing him grow up.

But like in the picture, he's looking up. Up to me. Maybe not right now, but one day, he might be. And I have to prove to him that I'm a worthy brother to aspire to.