These monstrous aliens appear to be the embodiment of every mad scientist’s dream of biological terror. A detailed autopsy of the Raptor has revealed many important aspects of their biology that help explain why they are such a devastating fighting force.

The Raptor averages between eight and ten feet in height, ground to hip, and 10 to 12 feet in length, nose to tail. Though the highest percentage of body weight is located forward of the hips; there are three annular fluid membranes, similar to the fluid membranes in the human ear, evenly spaced along the length of the tail that appear to function as balance organs to allow the Raptor to reach to impressive speeds it has demonstrated in the field. The musculature of the alien is very streamlined and smooth, highly optimized for running and agility. There are minor alien alloy implants to strengthen the joints and enforce the ligaments, to allow even tighter than normal turning.

The two most significant biological advantages of the Raptor are organ duplication and multiple visual spectra. Every major organ is duplicated and separated throughout the main body cavity and the upper thighs. This makes the Raptor exceedingly difficult to wound critically. The only organ that is not duplicated is the eyes. Raptors have 6 eyes that operate in pairs, but each pair of eyes perceives an entirely different spectrum of light. This allows the Raptor to visually track prey regardless of the environmental conditions.

Conversely, the only significant weakness that the Raptor has is it’s thick coat of oily hair. This fur makes the Raptor highly vulnerable to incendiary attacks. This weakness is further increased by thousands of glands, very similar to oil glands in humans, scattered over the Raptor’s flesh. The "oil" secereted is very similar in properties to high efficiency motor oil. The purpose of this oil appears to be to provide the Raptor with more efficient heat dispersion in warm and hot climates, and to keep the Raptor's coat clean and free of pests. Without this heat dispersion the Raptor would quickly overheat and collapse in most non-arctic environments.

There are numerous small, alien alloy implants in various sections of the Raptor brain. While all of these devices were completely inert during the autopsy, it is the opinion of several Xcorp engineers that these devices are some form of receiver. From this assumption, and an analysis of the growth patterns of the neurons around the implants, it is the assertion of this department that the Raptor does not and cannot operate independently, and this is the primary reason they have only been seen in close association with other alien races.

“I swear this is like the third or fourth appendix I found in this thing!” – Xcorp researcher

Edited by Anthraxus, 11 April 2005 - 08:08 PM.

- AnthraxusMember of the Old Git Club

"And, as in uffish thought he stood, the Jabberwock, with eyes aflame, came wiffling through the tulgy wood and burbled as it came."

Oh, you used my original headings ... nostalgia has struck me. Due to space issues, we changed them for this case it'd beX-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Autopsies/Raptor IIRC.Looks great, I'll read it in detail later, I like the fluff

These monstrous aliens appear to be the fulfillment of every mad scientist’s dream of biological terror. A detailed autopsy of the Raptor has revealed many fascinating oddities in their biology that help explain why they are such a devastating fighting force.

Sentence 1, I think you mean "embodiment" (Dictionary.com definition: a new personification of a familiar idea; "the embodiment of hope"; "the incarnation of evil"; "the very avatar of cunning") instead of "fulfillment" (Dictionary.com definition: a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires, the act of consummating something (a desire or promise etc)). Sentence 2, (a minor detail) "fascinating oddities" (curiosity) doesn't match too well with "biological terror" in the previous sentence- maybe "unusual characteristics of their biological structure" (neutral), "fearsome aspects" (somewhat scary), or remove it altogether: "A detailed autopsy has revealed yielded important insights into the Raptor's combat capabilities."

A rough prod rudely jolts Agent Astyanax out of his proofreading trance. Taking a tremulous breath, the commentation operation continues...

The Raptor averages between eight and ten feet in height, ground to hip, and 10 to 12 feet in length, nose to tail. Though the highest percentage of body weight is located forward hips; there are three rings of fluid evenly spaced along the length of the tail that appear to function as balance organs to allow the Raptor to reach to impressive speeds it has demonstrated in the field. The musculature of the alien is very streamlined and smooth, highly optimized for running and agility. There are minor alien alloy Alien Composite? implants to strengthen the joints and reinforce the ligaments, to allow even tighter than normal turning.

Use metric units- 8-10 ft. is roughly 2.5-3.25m, 10-12 ft. is roughly 3.25-4m. Sentence 2, "rings of fluid" paints an image of 3 uncontained halos of liquid. Maybe: "the three annular fluid membranes spaced evenly throughout its tail appear to function as balance organs and allow the Raptor..." The last sentence, maybe "...to allow an even tighter turning radius"?

Beads of sweat form rapidly on his brow as Agent Astyanax hears the distinctive *click* of an AAG's hammer being cocked. Exhaling slowly, his proofreading compulsion slowly dissipates...

The two most significant biological advantages of the Raptor are organ duplication and multiple visual spectra. Every major organ is duplicated and separated throughout the main body cavity and the upper thighs. This makes the Raptor exceedingly difficult to wound significantly. The only organ that is not duplicated is the eyes. Raptors have 6 eyes that operate in pairs, but each pair of eyes perceives an entirely different spectrum of light. This allows the Raptor to visually track prey irregardless of the environmentally conditions.

Sentence 1, maybe "enhanced" instead of "multiple"? Sentence 3, "wound" isn't quite the right word; Raptors can be wounded, but they are instead really difficult to "slay". Sentence 5, maybe "entirely different ranges of the electromagnetic spectrum"?

Tense seconds pass. All is silent save for the emotionless ticking of the wallclock and the near-frenzied *clickety-clack* of Agent Astyanax's typing...

Conversely, the only significant weakness that the Raptor has is it’s thick coat of oily hair. This fur makes the Raptor highly vulnerable to incendiary attacks. This weakness is further increased by thousands of oil glands scattered over the Raptor’s flesh. The purpose of these oils appears to provide the Raptor with more efficient heat dispersion in warm and hot climates. Without this heat dispersion the Raptor would quickly overheat and collapse in most non-arctic environments.

"Significant" is used somewhat frequently in the CT... Sentence 3, maybe "compounded" instead of "increased", and sentence 4, perhaps "assist" instead of "provide". Also, I don't honestly know whether oily fur helps with heat dispersion; I only recall it being used in semi-aquatic arctic animals to keep them waterproof. Anyone else know?

Unaware that he had uttered his question aloud, Astyanax is turned around violently and greeted with a fully-primed AAG between his eyes. Shaking in terror, Agent Astyanax gets an unwelcome close look at the sinister weapon designed solely to end his existence...

There are numerous small, alien alloy implants in various portions of the Raptor brain. While all of these devices were completely inert during the autopsy, it is the opinion of several Xcorp engineers that these devices are some form of receiver. From this assumption, it is the assertion of this department that the Raptor does not and cannot operate independently, and this is the primary reason they have only been seen in close association with other alien races.

Sentence 1, maybe "embedded within various portions" instead of "in various portions"? Sentence 3, how did the scientists arrive at their assumption? Can't the Raptor just be receiving some information (e.g. targeting)? Specify why they think that it's a controlling implant... maybe because the unusual brain structure where neurons radiate otwards from each implant?

As the operation nears completion, Agent Astyanax is grabbed and flung bodily into the dreaded XNPRTF pit. He only has moments to say..."

“I swear this is like the third or fourth appendix I found in this thing!” – Xcorp researcher

"I love this fluff," and, "The text is good, Anthraxusssssss..." before a heavy plank slams down over the pit and erases the sky. 'Tis another night in the CTD...

To tell you the truth, I'm not sure what's expected of me; I really have toned down my activities considerably. To wit, all my recent posts have not been nearly as colorful and a great deal more readable than they once were... and contained more comments than actual corrections. Regarding small, easily fixed spelling and grammar errors, should I just let them pass?

I don't know... I remember reading once upon a time a post that said for constructive criticisms, one should offer suggestions... should I not?

We have told you several times already, make all the comments you want, just don't proofread, we do have the proofreading taskforce for a reason and if you proofread in active, everything slows down (and yes, it does, you can see examples of that happening in... every single thread you've proofread , no, I'm not kidding). Grammar and spelling are very very easily corrected, so don't worry. If you want to know what's expected of a member who doesn't proofread, just read all threads before you came along and everyone started mimicking you , look at how I worked, at how dipstick, cpl. Facehugger and everyone else worked... well... try not to look at diptick Just kidding dip

instead of 'portions' of brain... maybe something like 'sections' or ' in multiple places in the brain there are implants' or something. It sounds a bit like a fish and chip shop or something Chips with a portion of brain please.... uh. no.

Couple of comments:
1) I thought the standard was American units of measure not Metric. I know there was a looooooong thread about this, but I don't have time to dig at the moment.
2) To wound significantly would be to wound in such a way the the target was no longer a threat, whether it is dead or not is irrelevant, as a stunning wound that renders the target unconcious is still significant. But I changed the word to critically as I think that does express the point better.
3) Whether terrestrial animals use oily hair for heat dispersal is irrevelant. The Raptor, as a wholly alien creature, could use biological oils for purposes not seen in the earthly realm.
4) I've always seen the purpose of commenting on CTD as trying to find logical inconsistancies, lack or or dissolution of continuity between CTDs, or extremely poor word choices/sentence structure.

Edited by Anthraxus, 11 April 2005 - 07:58 PM.

- AnthraxusMember of the Old Git Club

"And, as in uffish thought he stood, the Jabberwock, with eyes aflame, came wiffling through the tulgy wood and burbled as it came."

just a litle thing I noticed right now about the fluff text: maybe you should use some other "organ" than the appendix for the fluff. the appendix is probably the most useless organ in the body, and although this thing is supposed to have a superior internal layout through redundancy (or "back-up organs"), the extra appendices would probably not help the creature one bit, except giving it the doubtful benefit of a possible multiple appendicitis (*ouch*). May I suggest "liver" instead?

As far as I know, it's American English for language, but Metric system for measurements: Writer's Guidelines (bottom of the page).

3) Whether terrestrial animals use oily hair for heat dispersal is irrevelant. The Raptor, as a wholly alien creature, could use biological oils for purposes not seen in the earthly realm.

I'm still unconvinced about this, since oils (in general) impede heat dissipation and act as insulators in open-air environments. Though extraterrestrial in origin, oils do tend to have similar properties... Maybe Raptors excrete an easily-ignited "oily substance" instead?

As far as I know, it's American English for language, but Metric system for measurements: Writer's Guidelines (bottom of the page).

3) Whether terrestrial animals use oily hair for heat dispersal is irrevelant. The Raptor, as a wholly alien creature, could use biological oils for purposes not seen in the earthly realm.

I'm still unconvinced about this, since oils (in general) impede heat dissipation and act as insulators in open-air environments. Though extraterrestrial in origin, oils do tend to have similar properties... Maybe Raptors excrete an easily-ignited "oily substance" instead?

Other than that, it's looking better.

Yes, we'll use metric system, since scientific reports of any kind use them. Besides, X-Corps is an international force, so it makes sense that they use the metric system, also called the international system for a reason

just a litle thing I noticed right now about the fluff text: maybe you should use some other "organ" than the appendix for the fluff. the appendix is probably the most useless organ in the body, and although this thing is supposed to have a superior internal layout through redundancy (or "back-up organs"), the extra appendices would probably not help the creature one bit, except giving it the doubtful benefit of a possible multiple appendicitis (*ouch*). May I suggest "liver" instead?

That's what I thought made the fluff funny, that even the most worthless of organs is duplicated.

Also I've updated the full CTD at the top of this thread. I think I have good explanation for the oil and the implants now. I still don't mention the lack of arms, but in an autopsy you typically mention what is there, not what is missing, unless you're trying to determine cause of death, which this autopsy isn't.

I hate to be a nag, though (despite the fact that I do have that tendency ), but the heat dispersal qualities of motor oil depend on oil circulation. Basically, heat from the engine warms up the oil, the warm oil flows elsewhere and cools, and the cooled oil circulates back to the engine and takes some more of the heat away, ad nauseum. Motor oil is used because it can handle high temperatures (unlike water which evaporates) before burning.

Hm, maybe that could work- the Raptor secretes so much oil that it's constantly dripping hot oil... but that would mean the Raptor must be friggin' hot; otherwise, it'd just drip sweat instead (evaporation of water is a more effective heat dispersal mechanism at "normal" temperatures).

Regarding the arms, that's a fair enough point. Hm, if there's a lot of oil, maybe the Raptor stinks to high heaven? Rancid oil generates a rather unforgettable odor...

the oil could actually be the raptor's sweat... just because humans sweat water doesn't mean the raptor would have to. it could be some kind of volatile short-hydrocarbon oil, which would have the effect of evaporative cooling and at the same time explain the combustibility.

wow, that's a load of technobabble

but seriously, the raptor could have evolved on a world where water is just too rare to be sweated out, and sweating oil for cooling is an evolutionary advantage. makes sense to me... what do you think?

I was thinking along the same lines - maybe the sweat contains useless (too the raptor) hydrocarbons, in the way we secrete excess salt. This would make the sweat contain both water and hydrocarbons, although they are imiscible. Hmm, maybe there is a type of hydrocarbon which ignites and is partially soluble? Is there!?!

Either that, or shall we change it to another flammable material, which is soluble? But does not ignite when mixed with water? So, when the sweat begins to evaporate, the (oily substance) is left behind, coating the raptor in a highly flammable sheath, which, with the hair, is a nice place to start a fire.

I agree with you asty, that oil doesn't cool in this way, but this could be a workable hypothesis (with a bit more fluff)

Or maybe, because of poor personal hygiene (it never baths) and the fact that it sweats a whole lot in the warm climate on Earth, it's fur is matted with the oils from its sweat, making it particularly vulnerable to incendiary devices?

I must admit, though, I like Moriarty's idea, but wouldn't those short hydrocarbons be closer to organic solvents (propane, pentane, benzene, etc.) than oils? I don't have a problem with that, but adopting a non-oil idea means changing the Raptor CT as well.

Regarding the appendix fluff, the appendix is a vestigial organ in humans- it's virtually useless as far as I know. The fluff is about the scientists bewilderment (a "what the heck?!" reaction) that there are so many of them, with the possibly of finding more (due to the redundancy of organs in the Raptor).

sorry for my lack of knowladge on this, but wouldn't shooting incenerary on the gas of oil make the whole thing explode in a big destructive fireball? Or have i just watched too many hollywood films?

What? Doesn't the AWD like challenges?

On a more serious note, I think it would burst into flames (man, that would be freaky!), but I don't think it has so much oil/gas that it would detonate (that would be freaky, too)... Otherwise, the gameplay would change, and we'd all get swatted by Red Knight.

1) I think we'll want to refer to alien composites rather than alloys (once regarding the psionic receivers, once regarding implants to help turning ability

2) Regarding the oil debate, I would suggest that you concentrate on the pest-control properties more. Something about a mechanism to prevent insect infestations common among other furred animals. Since oil doesn't really evaporate, it would probably be less efficient at cooling than sweat. On the other hand, fur normally insulates the Raptor from the environment, and once soaked with oil it could be less efficient at doing that (read that it would conduct heat better than without the oil)...so maybe you could say something about that. Now, you could counter that by making the oil evaporate and leave behind a flammable residue of some sort.

*ducks before making proofreading comment*

3) 4th para, 1st sentence, replace "it's" with "its".

Overall, very good job. I enjoyed reading it, and I think that's what counts.

PS - no exploding Raptors. 1) Just no (though it would be funny). and 2) Despite Hollywood, explosions usually only occur when some type of containment is present. Think how gasoline in the cylinders of your car explodes and pushes the piston, but if you pour it on the ground it just burns.

Well, actually it could explode if we work on the hypothesis that it sweats oil, because the sweat would collect around the pores, which are basically small tubes, therefore there would be some containment - which would encourage mini-explosions. I would imagine some sort of sparks would fire, therefore all the sweat glands in a small radius would spark, causing some residual damage to the Raptor. (hey that almost sounds believable!!)

Maybe that could be a reason for increased damage - there would be no visible differences to the old system, though the CT would be more detailed...

Please use Anthraxus' last draft as a base, and if you wish, you can complete it with the comments we made afterwards, we don't want to discard it completely It's that or PM me and I'll give you something to write

Tzuchan pokes his head in to make sure that he won't be shot for being AWOL for so long...

Er... Guys? I just took a look at the AWD's current model of the raptor that they are skinning? From the looks of the texture, the raptor is going to end up scaly looking...

MAD requested that I try my hand at reworking/finishing this ct, so I'll prolly work the scaly skin in...

Hopefully the AWD won't do a 180 on us and turn it back to furry...(Speaking of which, is the Raptor CT done?)

P/s: BTW, Azzy, do you need me to develop a Anti-Asty Hovertank to help keep our pet Asty in line? Or would you prefer that I modify a Abrams M-1 Tank with a Anti-Asty cannon for a... more personal touch?

As per my tendency, I rewrote the whole thing instead of modifying it.

RAPTOR AUTOPSYX-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Autopsies/Raptor

The bipedal aliens called Raptors have proven are formidable close combat terror weapons capable of sustaining massive injuries before being disable. Our detailed autopsy of these creatures of war have revealed that most major organs of the Raptors are duplicated, allowing the Raptor to survive what would normally be fatal trauma.

The Raptor averages between two to three meter in height, from the ground to the hip, and three to four meters in length from nose to tail. The center of gravity is located forward of the hips. This, and the heavily muscled tail, enable the Raptor to maintain it's balance during high speed chases. This natural capablity is further enchanced by implants located through the body, further reinforcing the skeletal muscles, tendons and joints.

However, the two most significant advantages of the Raptors are the duplication of major organs, and the multiple sets of eyes. The Raptors essentially have two independent sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. Not only is each system by itself is capable of supporting the Raptor indefinately, and there is also evidence that the Raptors may be able to "re-route" the blood flow between the two systems. This means that it will be difficult to significantly wound the Raptors. Autopsy on the eyes of the Raptors reveal that not only is the Raptor capable of seeing in infra-red, but that the six eyes of the Raptor are paired into three pairs. It is believe that when hunting, these six pairs of eyes independently search the surroundings for preys. It is likely that when a target is found, one pair of eyes will track the prey, another set studies the environs, and the third pair watches for ambushes.

However, there is a potential weakness. A study of the skin sample obtained from the Raptor revealed that the "sweat" glands of the Raptor excrete not water, but a combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of biological substances. It is likely that the Raptors originated from a planet both far hotter and more humid than Earth, resulting in the need for more volatile liquids to maintain the optimum body temperature. This means that incendiary weapons would likely cause the Raptor to be engulfed in flames, and that it would be very difficult for the fire to be extinguished.

Study of the brain revealed that the brain was penetrated with numerous metallic fibres originating from a small implant at the base of the skull. Despite the fact that it remained inert throughout the examination, it is likely that the implant is either a communication device or a control device.

"Unbelievable! If you chop this beast in half, you won't have one dead monster, you'd have half-alive monsters after you!" - Lead Researcher

I just realized that I didn't mention what kind of skin the Raptor has, that means that it could be scaly, or it could be furry, more maybe even both and no one will notice!

---Edit by Mad---Took the liberty in setting the whole CT in quotes, so it will be easier to read.

The bipedal aliens called Raptors have proven are formidable close combat terror weapons capable of sustaining massive injuries before being disable. Our detailed autopsy of these creatures of war have revealed that most major organs of the Raptors are duplicated, allowing the Raptor to survive what would normally be fatal trauma.

Maybe work on an introduction. Something like: "Our troops engaged a terror unit not known to us until now. These bipedal aliens, we for now called called "Raptor" have proven to be formidable close combat fighters. Their capability to sustain massive injuries before beeing disabled makes them a fearsome opponent.A detailed autops revealed a duplication of most inner organs, explaining his capability to survive massive poly traumata."

The Raptor averages between two to three meter in height, from the ground to the hip, and three to four meters in length from nose to tail. The center of gravity is located forward of the hips. This, and the heavily muscled tail, enable the Raptor to maintain it's balance during high speed chases. This natural capablity is further enchanced by implants located through the body, further reinforcing the skeletal muscles, tendons and joints.

However, the two most significant advantages of the Raptors are the duplication of major organs, and the multiple sets of eyes. You repeat yourself here. Maybe think about removing the similar sentence from the end of the first paragraph.The Raptors essentially have two independent sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. Not only is each system by itself is capable of supporting the Raptor indefinately, and there is also evidence that the Raptors may be able to "re-route" the blood flow between the those two systems. This means that it will be difficult to significantly wound the Raptors. I would suggest a merging of those two sentences: "...two systems resulting in his extraordinary ability to compensate even lare wounds." Or something like this.Autopsy onof the eyes of the Raptors reveal that not only is the Raptor You'll have to decide whether you wnat to use singular or plural throughout hte whole text. capable of seeing in infra-red, but that the six eyes of the Raptor are paired into three pairs. It is our? believe that when hunting, these six pairs of eyes independently search the surroundings for preys. It is likely that when a target is found, one pair of eyes will track the prey, another set studies the environs, and the third pair watches for ambushes.

However, there is a potential weakness. A study of the skin sample obtained from the Raptor revealed that the "sweat" glands of the Raptor excrete not water, but a combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of biological substances. It is likely that the Raptors originated from a planet both far hotter and more humid than Earth, resulting in the need for more volatile liquids to maintain the optimum body temperature. This means that incendiary weapons would likely cause the Raptor to be engulfed in flames, and that it would be very difficult for the fire to be extinguished.Maybe try rephrasing the last sentence. Maybe something like "We suggest usage of incendiary weapons." On the other hand this would be a nice sentence for the resumé at the end of the text...

Study of the brain revealed that the brain was penetratedpenetration with numerous metallic fibres originating from a small implant at the base of the skull. Despite the fact that it remained inert throughout the examination, it is likely that the implant is either a communication device or a control device.

"Unbelievable! If you chop this beast in half, you won't have one dead monster, you'd have half-alive monsters after you!" - Lead Researcher

I just realized that I didn't mention what kind of skin the Raptor has, that means that it could be scaly, or it could be furry, more maybe even both and no one will notice!

Don't know if that would be such a big problem. Maybe ask someone in AWD what they have in mind with the skin...

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Our troops engaged a terror unit unknown to us until now. These bipedal aliens, codenamed "Raptors" have proven to be formidable close combat fighters. Their capability to sustain massive injuries before being incapacitated makes them a fearsome opponent.

The Raptor averages between two to three meters in height, from the ground to the hip, and three to four meters in length from nose to tail. The center of gravity is located forward of the hips. This, and the heavily muscled tail, enable the Raptor to maintain it's balance during rapid movement. This natural capablity is further enchanced by implants located through the body, further reinforcing the skeletal muscles, tendons and joints.

However, the two most significant advantages of the Raptors are the duplication of major organs, and the three paired sets of eyes. The Raptors essentially have two independent sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. Not only is each system capable of supporting the Raptor, there is also evidence that the Raptors may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems. This means that it will be extraordinarily difficult to incapacitate the Raptors. Dissection of the eye reveals that the Raptor is capable of seeing in infra-red. It is our belief that when hunting, these three pairs of eyes independently search the surroundings for prey. It is likely that when a target is found, one pair of eyes will track the prey, another set looks for more prey, and the third pair watches for danger.

However, there is a potential weakness. A study of the skin sample obtained from the Raptor reveals that the sweat glands excrete not water, but a combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of an unknown biological substance. It is likely that the Raptors originate from a planet both hotter and more humid than Earth, resulting in the need for more volatile liquids to maintain the optimum body temperature. This means that fire would likely cause the Raptor to be engulfed in flames, and that it would be very difficult for the fire to be extinguished, with it's bodily fluids being inflammable. We suggest the judicious use of incendiary weapons.

Study of the brain reveals numerous metallic fibres originating from a small implant at the base of the skull. Despite the fact that it remained inert throughout the examination, it is likely that the implant is either a communication device or a control device.

"Unbelievable! If you chop this beast in half, you won't have one dead monster, you'd have two half-alive monsters after you!" - Lead Researcher.

We suggest the judicious use of incendiary weapons against this opponent.

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Aside from the first paragraph, which doesn't seem to flow right, the rest look okay to me.

RAPTOR AUTOPSYX-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Autopsies/Raptor

The vicious bipedal aliens know as the Raptors has proven to be fast, equiped with impressive natural weapons, and extremely hard to kill, making them terrifyingly effective close combat fighters. Autopsy of the recovered Raptor corpse revealed twin sets of respiratory and circulatory systems, which are most likely to be the cause of the Raptor's unnatural resilience to damage. However, study of the Raptor's skin revealed that it may be vulnerable to incendiary weapons

The Raptors averages between two to three meters in height, from the ground to the hip, and three to four meters in length from nose to tail. The center of gravity is located forward of the hips. This, and the heavily muscled tail, enable the Raptor to maintain it's balance during rapid movement. This natural capablity is further enchanced by implants located through the body, further reinforcing the skeletal muscles, tendons and joints.

However, the two most significant advantages of the Raptor are the duplication of major organs, and the three paired sets of eyes. The Raptor essentially have two independent sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. Not only is each system capable of supporting the Raptor, there is also evidence that the Raptor may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems. This means that it will be extraordinarily difficult to incapacitate the Raptor. Dissection of the eye reveals that the Raptor is capable of seeing in infra-red. It is our belief that when hunting, these three pairs of eyes independently search the surroundings for prey. It is likely that when a target is found, one pair of eyes will track the prey, another set looks for more prey, and the third pair watches for danger.

However, there is a potential weakness. A study of the skin sample obtained from the Raptor reveals that the sweat glands excrete not water, but a combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of an unknown biological substance. It is likely that the Raptors originate from a planet both hotter and more humid than Earth, resulting in the need for more volatile liquids to maintain the optimum body temperature. This means that fire would likely cause the Raptor to be engulfed in flames, and that it would be very difficult for the fire to be extinguished, with it's perspiration being inflammable. EDIT: Replaced bodily fluids with perspiration We suggest the judicious use of incendiary weapons on this opponent.

Study of the brain reveals numerous metallic fibres originating from a small implant at the base of the skull. Despite the fact that it remained inert throughout the examination, it is likely that the implant is either a communication device or a control device.

"Unbelievable! If you chop this beast in half, you won't have one dead monster, you'd have two half-alive monsters after you!" - Lead Researcher.

Edit:Added weakness to inciendiery weapons to first paragraph.Replaced bodily fluids with perspiration.

Well, there's a repetition in the first and third paragraph, the bit about the Raptors having two sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. I thought it better to leave that out of the first paragraph, simply stating howtough they were, as the third paragraph goes into more detail anyway.

And sweat is a bodily fluid, yes, though that may not be the term we want to use here, I thought it sounded better than 'sweat'.

Well, there's a repetition in the first and third paragraph, the bit about the Raptors having two sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. I thought it better to leave that out of the first paragraph, simply stating howtough they were, as the third paragraph goes into more detail anyway.

And sweat is a bodily fluid, yes, though that may not be the term we want to use here, I thought it sounded better than 'sweat'.

*shrugs* The repetition itself is not a problem. For real formal reports(Or at least college essays), the first paragraph is normally a summary of the contents. This works both ways for us. The player can just read the first paragraph and get most of what he needs out of the report, and the format emulates an actual report. As it is, I feel that we might need to add another sentence to the first paragraph regarding the weakness to fire...

Unfortunately, bodily fluids also imply digestive juices, blood, mucus, tears, etc. Time to kick up the theasurus for sweat...

*shrugs* The repetition itself is not a problem. For real formal reports(Or at least college essays), the first paragraph is normally a summary of the contents. This works both ways for us. The player can just read the first paragraph and get most of what he needs out of the report, and the format emulates an actual report

Certainly, if this is the format for X-Net entries then there's no problem.

Certainly, if this is the format for X-Net entries then there's no problem.

The problem is, it isn't. Well, it is a little, but the first paragraph is normaly used as very vague overview, as introduction, in some CTs as short historic abstract. Nevertheless, I don't see a big problem for this CT, because it is just a short mentioning of these facts. Something, even non medical personal can see on sight.

Regarding the first paragraph, I really would like you to write a short troducing sentence. Don't start directly with "Raptor", guide the reader to the topic. Something like in this CT, or in this one.

Edited by Mad, 10 March 2006 - 03:16 AM.

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

The vicious bipedal aliens known as Raptors are proven to be fast, equipped with impressive natural weapons and are extremely hard to kill, making them terrifyingly effective close combat fighters. The autopsy of the recovered Raptor corpse revealed twin sets of respiratory and circulatory systems, which are most likely to be the cause of the Raptor's resilience to damage. However, study of the Raptor's skin revealed that it may be vulnerable to incendiary weapons.

The Raptors average between two to three meters in height, from the ground to the hip, and three to four meters in length from nose to tail. The center of gravity is located forward of the hips. This, and the heavily muscled tail, enable the Raptor to maintain it's balance during rapid movement. This natural capablity is further enchanced by implants located through the body, further reinforcing the skeletal muscles, tendons and joints.

However, the two most significant advantages of the Raptor are the duplication of major organs, and the three paired sets of eyes. The Raptor essentially has two independent sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. Not only is each system capable of supporting the Raptor, there is also evidence that the Raptor may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems. This means that it will be extraordinarily difficult to incapacitate. Dissection of the eye reveals that the Raptor is capable of seeing in infra-red. It is our belief that when hunting, these three pairs of eyes independently search the surroundings for prey. It is likely that when a target is found, one pair of eyes will track the prey, another set looks for more prey, and the third pair watches for danger.

However, there is a potential weakness. A study of the skin sample obtained from the Raptor reveals that the sweat glands excrete not water, but a combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of an unknown biological substance. It is likely that the Raptors originate from a planet both hotter and more humid than Earth, resulting in the need for more volatile liquids to maintain the optimum body temperature. This means that fire would likely cause the Raptor to be engulfed in flames, and that it would be very difficult for the fire to be extinguished, with it's perspiration being inflammable. We suggest the judicious use of incendiary weapons on this opponent.

Study of the brain reveals numerous metallic fibres originating from a small implant at the base of the skull. Despite the fact that it remained inert throughout the examination, it is likely that the implant is either a communication device or a control device.

"Unbelievable! If you chop this beast in half, you won't have one dead monster, you'd have two half-alive monsters after you!" - Lead Researcher.

The vicious bipedal aliens known as Raptors are proven to be fast, equipped with impressive natural weapons and are extremely hard to kill, making them terrifyingly effective close combat fighters. The autopsy of the recovered Raptor corpse revealed twin sets of respiratory and circulatory systems, which are most likely to be the cause of the Raptor's resilience to damage. However, study of the Raptor's skin revealed that it may be vulnerable to incendiary weapons.

"are proven to be" doesn't feel right for some reason... Maybe shorten to "are fast..."?

Regarding brief intros, I don't feel that this particular entry needs it. We(and the player) already know that it's an autopsy regarding the Raptor, we don't want to put in where we encoutered it(Could be alien base, terror attack, Terror UFO) and there already is enough of a lead in into the main body as it(IMHO)...

Anyway, this seems pretty much done. Are there any comments? Suggestions?

Also, since I already have(As per CTD tradition) snuck in my name and/or nick into a couple of other CT entries, feel free to sneak yours into this entry, FullAuto.

Changes in Blue

RAPTOR AUTOPSYX-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Autopsies/Raptor

The vicious bipedal aliens known as Raptors are fast, equipped with impressive natural weapons, and extremely hard to kill, making them terrifyingly effective close combat fighters. The autopsy of the recovered Raptor corpse revealed twin sets of respiratory and circulatory systems, which are most likely to be the cause of the Raptor's resilience to damage. However, study of the Raptor's skin revealed that it may be vulnerable to incendiary weapons.

The Raptors average between two to three meters in height, from the ground to the hip, and three to four meters in length from nose to tail. The center of gravity is located forward of the hips. This, and the heavily muscled tail, enable the Raptor to maintain it's balance during rapid movement. This natural capablity is further enchanced by implants located through the body, further reinforcing the skeletal muscles, tendons and joints.

However, the two most significant advantages of the Raptor are the duplication of major organs, and the three paired sets of eyes. The Raptor essentially has two independent sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. Not only is each system capable of supporting the Raptor, there is also evidence that the Raptor may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems. This means that it will be extraordinarily difficult to incapacitate. Dissection of the eye reveals that the Raptor is capable of seeing in infra-red. It is our belief that when hunting, these three pairs of eyes independently search the surroundings for prey. It is likely that when a target is found, one pair of eyes will track the prey, another set looks for more prey, and the third pair watches for danger.

However, there is a potential weakness. A study of the skin sample obtained from the Raptor reveals that the sweat glands excrete not water, but a combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of an unknown biological substance. It is likely that the Raptors originate from a planet both hotter and more humid than Earth, resulting in the need for more volatile liquids to maintain the optimum body temperature. This means that fire would likely cause the Raptor to be engulfed in flames, and that it would be very difficult for the fire to be extinguished, with it's perspiration being inflammable. We suggest the judicious use of incendiary weapons on this opponent.

Study of the brain reveals numerous metallic fibres originating from a small implant at the base of the skull. Despite the fact that it remained inert throughout the examination, it is likely that the implant is either a communication device or a control device.

"Unbelievable! If you chop this beast in half, you won't have one dead monster, you'd have two half-alive monsters after you!" - Lead Researcher, <Insert Full Auto's Name here?>.

The vicious bipedal aliens known as Raptors are fast, equipped with impressive natural weapons, and extremely hard to kill, making them terrifyingly effective close combat fighters.

My take (feel free to take it or leave it... ):

"The vicious bipedal Aliens are unnaturally agile, inhumanly resistant to damage, and terrifyingly effective in close quarters. Their (x feet long talons?) can easily tear through all but the hardest synthetics.

The first sentence may have too many adjectives, but I kind of feel more detail should be given to flesh out the "impressive natural weapons" claim since it's not really enumerated elsewhere in the text.

Also, "combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of an unknown biological substance." Does this mean X-Corps soldiers eventually learn how to "brew" Alien ale (members in armed forces are stereotypically portrayed as having a fondness for alcohol)?

On a more serious note, how about "and minute amounts of a viscous, unknown biological liquid"? It sounds cooler, imho.

"The vicious bipedal Aliens are unnaturally agile, inhumanly resistant to damage, and terrifyingly effective in close quarters. Their (x feet long talons?) can easily tear through all but the hardest synthetics.

The first sentence may have too many adjectives, but I kind of feel more detail should be given to flesh out the "impressive natural weapons" claim since it's not really enumerated elsewhere in the text.

Indeed, there are too many adjectives. There has to be a better way of making those points clear without cluttering a sentence full of descriptors. And it should be "foot" not "feet", but that is neither here nor there since the unit of length is supposed to be meters.

Also, "combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of an unknown biological substance." Does this mean X-Corps soldiers eventually learn how to "brew" Alien ale (members in armed forces are stereotypically portrayed as having a fondness for alcohol)?

Last time I checked, even small amounts of methanol are enough to cause blindness or death. So I'd pass on that concoction.

- Zombie

The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!

I think there are ways to get around or separate out the methanol... but I'm certainly no expert!

Destillation. Methanol has the higher fugacity of those two. You just have to throw away the first maybe 10 percent of the destilled liquid. And now back to work

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

For some strange inane reason, Asty's suggestions and comments have spurred a weird fluffie...

RAPTOR AUTOPSYX-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Autopsies/Raptor

The vicious bipedal Aliens are unnaturally agile, inhumanly resistant to damage, and terrifyingly effective in close quarters. The Raptors, like their namesake, the Velociraptors, possess claws ranging from 20 to 30 centimeters in length that are capable of slicing through kevlar body armour. The autopsy of the recovered Raptor corpse revealed twin sets of respiratory and circulatory systems, which are most likely to be the cause of the Raptor's resilience to damage. However, study of the Raptor's skin revealed that it may be vulnerable to incendiary weapons.

"Unbelievable! If you chop this beast in half, you won't have one dead monster, you'd have two half-alive monsters after you!" - Lead Researcher, <Insert Full Auto's Name here?>.

The Raptors average between two to three meters in height, from the ground to the hip, and three to four meters in length from nose to tail. The center of gravity is located forward of the hips. This, and the heavily muscled tail, enable the Raptor to maintain it's balance during rapid movement. This natural capablity is further enchanced by implants located through the body, further reinforcing the skeletal muscles, tendons and joints.

However, the two most significant advantages of the Raptor are the duplication of major organs, and the three paired sets of eyes. The Raptor essentially has two independent sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. Not only is each system capable of supporting the Raptor, there is also evidence that the Raptor may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems. This means that it will be extraordinarily difficult to incapacitate. Dissection of the eye reveals that the Raptor is capable of seeing in infra-red. It is our belief that when hunting, these three pairs of eyes independently search the surroundings for prey. It is likely that when a target is found, one pair of eyes will track the prey, another set looks for more prey, and the third pair watches for danger.

However, there is a potential weakness. A study of the skin sample obtained from the Raptor reveals that the sweat glands excrete not water, but a combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of an unknown biological substance. It is likely that the Raptors originate from a planet both hotter and more humid than Earth, resulting in the need for more volatile liquids to maintain the optimum body temperature. This means that fire would likely cause the Raptor to be engulfed in flames, and that it would be very difficult for the fire to be extinguished, with it's perspiration being inflammable. We suggest the judicious use of incendiary weapons on this opponent.

Study of the brain reveals numerous metallic fibres originating from a small implant at the base of the skull. Despite the fact that it remained inert throughout the examination, it is likely that the implant is either a communication device or a control device.

"The proposal that X-Corps supplement it's budget by raising the creature known as Raptors to produce 'Raptor Juice: Finest All Natural Alcohol from the Stars' has been rejected. The next person to submit similiar proposals will be tossed into a pen with a hungry Raptor." - Memo from Base Commander

Very good! However, maybe the first sentence is a bit too untechnical. But it shows the terrifying aspects of the raptors very good, so maybe we should leave it in.You should remove the "the" from "may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems."

This means that fire would likely cause the Raptor to be engulfed in flames, and that it would be very difficult for the fire to be extinguished, with it's perspiration being inflammable. We suggest the judicious use of incendiary weapons on this opponent.

I would suggest a rephrasing, if I may? "A well placed inflamatory charge will most likely ignite these volatile secrets, engulfing the Raptor in very difficult extinguishable flames."

...it is likely that the implant is either a communication device or a control device.

Delete the first device. "...either a communication or control device"

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Not only is each system capable of supporting the Raptor, there is also evidence that the Raptor may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems. This means that it will be extraordinarily difficult to incapacitate.

Since this is the Raptor autopsy, a Raptor already has been incapacitated. Maybe it should be:

Not only is each system capable of supporting the Raptor, there is also evidence that the Raptor may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems, thus explaining why it is so extraordinarily difficult to incapacitate.

(It doesn't need to be a compound sentence, but it was the first one I thought of. )

FYI, I'm pretty sure I have a BUGS account, but I'm too lazy to check if it exists(Or to check it at all, come to think about it )

RAPTOR AUTOPSYX-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Autopsies/Raptor

The vicious bipedal Aliens are unnaturally agile, inhumanly resistant to damage, and terrifyingly effective in close quarters. The Raptors, like their namesake, the Velociraptors, possess claws ranging from 20 to 30 centimeters in length that are capable of slicing through kevlar body armour. The autopsy of the recovered Raptor corpse revealed twin sets of respiratory and circulatory systems, which are most likely to be the cause of the Raptor's resilience to damage. However, study of the Raptor's skin revealed that it may be vulnerable to incendiary weapons.

"Unbelievable! If you chop this beast in half, you won't have one dead monster, you'd have two half-alive monsters after you!" - Lead Researcher, <Insert Full Auto's Name here?>.

The Raptors average between two to three meters in height, from the ground to the hip, and three to four meters in length from nose to tail. The center of gravity is located forward of the hips. This, and the heavily muscled tail, enable the Raptor to maintain it's balance during rapid movement. This natural capablity is further enchanced by implants located through the body, further reinforcing the skeletal muscles, tendons and joints.

However, the two most significant advantages of the Raptor are the duplication of major organs, and the three paired sets of eyes. The Raptor essentially has two independent sets of circulatory and respiratory systems. Not only is each system capable of supporting the Raptor independently, there is also evidence that the Raptor may be able to re-route the blood flow between the those two systems, thus explaining why it was difficult to incapacitate the specimen. Dissection of the eye reveals that the Raptor is capable of seeing in infra-red. It is our belief that when hunting, these three pairs of eyes independently search the surroundings for prey. It is likely that when a target is found, one pair of eyes will track the prey, another set looks for more prey, and the third pair watches for danger.

However, there is a potential weakness. A study of the skin sample obtained from the Raptor reveals that the sweat glands excrete not water, but a combination of methanol and ethanol and minute amounts of viscous replaced unknown with viscous 'coz it's likely the scientist would have analyzed it. biological substances. It is likely that the Raptors originate from a planet both hotter and more humid than Earth, resulting in the need for more volatile liquids to maintain the optimum body temperature. As a result, use of incendiary weapons would likely cause the secretions to ignite, causing the Raptor to be covered in hard to extinguish flames.

Study of the brain reveals numerous metallic fibres originating from a small implant at the base of the skull. Despite the fact that it remained inert throughout the examination, it is likely that the implant is either a communication or control device.

"The proposal that X-Corps supplement it's budget by raising the creature known as Raptors to produce 'Raptor Juice: Finest All Natural Alcohol from the Stars' has been rejected. The next person to submit similiar proposals will be tossed into a pen with a hungry Raptor." - Memo from Base Commander

FYI, I'm pretty sure I have a BUGS account, but I'm too lazy to check if it exists(Or to check it at all, come to think about it )

This is not the place to discuss this, but actually you don't have a BUGS account. Well, maybe you have, but you don't have a developer account, and that's what it takes to become CTs assigned in the future. This is no harassment, I don't do it because I'm so bored; CTD skipped using the BUGS far too long. It has the potential to speed up a lot of things once you are used to it, and we will start using it.

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.