Residents In More Than A Dozen States Petition White House To Secede From United States

Source: Huff Post (via AOL News)

Residents in more than a dozen states across the country have filed secession petitions to the Obama administration's "We the People" program, which is featured on the White House website.

A petition filed by Jesse W. (no last name provided) on behalf of Arkansas reads:

Micah H. (no last name provided) of Arlington, Texas filed a petition that says:

The efforts come in the wake of Barack Obama securing a second term in the White House over Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney. From New York to South Carolina, the states where residents have filed secession petitions spans a wide range.

8. Any secessionists who are taxpayer-funded employees should be fired.

If any of these secessionists are government employees (federal, state, local, military, defense contractor) thy should be fired from their jobs and that position be filled by the next in-line, replacing the slot with someone who is a true American.

12. Dear Red States:

We in Pennsylvania intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

32. Well, when you put it like that......

36. Funny, I posted something like this right after I joined

my slant is different from succession, though. I look at it and think that BOTH sides would be happier, and more well-adjusted
if we developed a separation of type. They could have their hype and war and religion, etc., and we'd have the peace and progress.

I see it as a healthy split. We're all here, not going anywhere. Not calling for weapons, just a peaceful meeting of the minds. Russia split up. The majority of China's defense spending is on domestic troubles, they'll probably have several break ups of a sort.

If it could be peaceful, I'd work on it. I have NO interest in warfare.

And I already have an FBI file - for working too hard and too long on space-based weaponry and the warps it can pull on human consciousness. I learned my ranking is a 0 on the scale of 1-10 for military security clearance. I talked. Bad girl. It gets to the point where you just really don't give a damn about those things. Life is short. Play hard.

13. Sounds like a good way to get yourself an FBI file, if you ask me..

15. The Supreme Court on Secession

In Texas v. White, decided in 1868, the Supreme Court ruled that no state can unilaterally secede from the Union. However, it also included the proviso that, if the other States agree to the secession, it can be done legally. I think that we in the Blue States of America would be happy to see these 12 states try to go it alone. They have been an anchor tied around the necks of the other parts of the country, and, given that, in my Blue State, we pay more in taxes to the government than we get back in services, while the Red States almost to a one receive more in services from the federal government than they pay in taxes. I personally am damn sick and tired of listening to these ignorant buffoons whining about big government and government spending when virtually all of them only survive on money we in the Blue States provide. Let them take care of themselves.

And, I propose that a strict border be maintained, with a limited number of temporary work visas made available to those who want to get away from their Red third world country for a while. After all, we are always going to need gardeners, busboys, and housekeepers

16. I believe it's sedition, actually n/t

19. It's only sedition if it is done unilaterally

Say, Texas announces it is seceeding. That is sedition and federal troops will be used. However, if Texas applies for secession and the "several States" agree to let it go, then it is not illegal. See previous post with Supreme Court case.

43. I have read the definition of sedition

I still believe it's sedition, and they will say hey, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, etc. were all accused of sedition when they declared Independence from Great Britain and wore it as a badge of honor, we are in great company. Do you suppose Mexico would take them back now?

41. It's an OBVIOUS suggestion

for the people who are petitioning for such , to personally secede from the US by Getting the Hell Out of said United States.
That being said, I and many others such as myself, would be happy to help them pack!!!