“She’s in Vancouver shooting a movie and I have Lakers seats on the floor, and I’m gonna go to the Lakers (basketball) game with my friend Jesse James. I’m like, `Baby, I got these tickets. I’ll see you on the weekend there,’ and that leads into her saying, `You don’t care about me, blah blah blah.’ She finally comes up with this: `I just had a miscarriage’ … and hangs the phone up.”

Rock, claiming he was unaware that Anderson was pregnant, says he chartered a plane and flew to Vancouver. “When I get there, she’s partying at this restaurant, drinking champagne, jumping on the tables. I’m thinking, `That’s a quick recovery from a miscarriage.’”

What do you even say to that?

Kid Rock has an album coming out on Tuesday.

It probably sucks.

Solution: get more PR by publicly accusing your ex-wife of lying about a miscarriage when you have absolutely no proof one way or another.

If you, unlike me, read the trade journals, you’d be aware that NBC is resurrecting American Gladiators as a mid-season replacement. (I don’t read the trade journals. I do something smarter: I read Defamer. It’s like reading the trades without all the boring parts about people who aren’t young and beautiful.)

I think America needs this. I know it’s going to be hard at first, you guys, because we’re not used to watching television shows hosted by someone other than Ryan Seacrest. For the first couple of episodes, we’ll be all like “Who’s that guy who keeps talking? And where’s the host?” But after awhile our systems will adjust, and we’ll be like, “Ohhhh, that’s the host.” I think it will be a growing experience for the country.

I have amazing taste in women. And one of these days I’ll learn to translate that good judgment to the gender to which I feel actual sexual attraction. But until then, at least I can say I always saw the good in Jaslene.

“It’s going to save lives and help people; using my voice, hopefully they feel I can help educate people,” she said.

Hooray, Jaslene!!

Boooo, teen dating violence!!!

One nice thing about getting older is that you no longer have to worry about teen dating violence. Or teen pregnancy. I remember on my 20th birthday I was like “Yay! I can never be a pregnant teen now!” I didn’t even realize that the other bonus was that I could never be an abused teen, either! The other nice thing about getting older is that you don’t have to have sex in the backs of pick-up trucks anymore because people have their own apartments. And that’s about it. There’s nothing else nice about getting older. Oh, rental cars. You can drive rental cars. But that’s it.