Category Archives: Birthdays

Seriously. Fill ‘er up, folks. Why is today’s cougar-pour different from, say, yesterday’s cougar-pour you ask? Today I am 49. Shit’s getting real, folks. It’s only 365 days until I’m officially a grown up. I mean, I’m assuming. To be honest, I’m still shook when I verbalize my age — and have been since about […]

I never had a Cabbage Patch Kid. I think maybe it was because in the early 80’s when they really took off and became popular I was too old to play with dolls. Or maybe it was because they were ugly as shit. Whichever it was, the fact that I was never a fan became […]

This week my younger daughter will turn 16, and I’m not entirely sure it’s hit me yet. I believe you’ve met my trusty sidekick Denial, whom I’ve been thick as thieves with since about 2013. Listen, I know it must sound tired and cliché and completely uninspired to yet again be lamenting the passing of time here on […]

According to my iCloud calendar and about 63 friends on Facebook — not to mention Facebook itself (thank you, Zuck) — today is my birthday. Again. Seriously you guys, I swear it was just my birthday like last week, which may or may not have to do with the fact that I seem to find […]

Next week my daughter will turn 21 years old. (Quick, somebody pour her me a drink.) Twenty-one years old. How the hell did this happen? Wasn’t I just celebrating turning 21 in Vegas with my boyfriend who, despite what it looks like in this photograph, didn’t become my husband for over three more years? It’s hard […]

Last week was my birthday. For those (16) of you who’ve been hanging around here since the beginning, you’ve helped me through the last four of them. Sure, maybe we haven’t been together in person, but since I started this blog it’s been a form of therapy for me, and when you pass a *cough* […]

Today my daughter turns 20, which is completely and utterly impossible. Is it because it was just last month that she was a delicious, soft bundle of infant? Is it because just last week she was a precocious, entertaining and delightful toddler? Or is it because it was only yesterday that she was an aloof […]

Today my baby girl turns 14. Fourteen. What a sucky age. But really, do you remember it? No? That’s because it probably sucked. Think about it. At 14 you were at puberty’s peak and at the mercy of the multitude of hormones that were making your emotions run the gamut from elation to devastation that all took […]

46. Forty-six. XLVI. Quarante-six. (Damn, even in French it sounds old.) Tomorrow I will be 46. What. The. Hell. Like I always say about my children, I blinked and it happened. Actually, that’s not entirely true. Those years from birth to about age 15 seemed to totally drag. If you’ve been following along here the […]

At some point* in the next few days I’ll be the mother of a 19-year-old. *I actually do know when, in case you were worried. A nineteen year old. (BRB, I need to go do a shot and sing some Wham! so I don’t feel as old as that makes me sound.) The point is, most some there’s […]