Saturday, March 22, 2008

I hear the soft crunch of flesh on sand as he walks away, back up to the party. I don’t want to turn around and watch him leave. It would just add insult to injury.

There was no choice, I keep telling myself, over and over, like the quiet rhythmic lull of the waves hitting the shore. I had to ask him. This is what it had come down to.

I try not to cry and bury my face in my arms. My mascara will run long black arroyos down my cheeks, if I do and at some stage I have to go back to the party. No one saw us leave and no one would think to miss the two of us together. We don’t even like each other, as far as any of our friends think. But they will finally miss me if I stay away too long.

I want to go home, but I don’t want to have to explain why I left early. They’ll ask questions and I am a terrible liar. This party was long anticipated – until Thursday that was. I knew he would be here and I would have to confront him.

I needed to know, I needed him to say it to my face. This is his problem too, not mine alone to carry. So I asked. I simply asked him for money and he started at me with unveiled contempt. His eyes condemning me, screaming at me that this was all my doing. And now he really does hate me.

Kate will see the subtle shift and she’ll want to know. But I can’t tell her just yet - she doesn’t know what he is like really. Now the three of us are forever entwined. Kate wanted so desperately for us to get along, and for a night she got her wish.

I should never have asked, kept this to myself and dealt with it. This was a dangerous game that I willingly played and I know that I’ve lost. But I wanted to be sure. He wants to know nothing about this. I swear that he’ll pay one way or another. If not now, then he’ll pay for life. His arrogance and cruelty will be his undoing, not mine.

Hi Jodi..you, like me, have seen something sad and melancholy in the girl's body language..defeated and sad..but unlike me you have had her triumph and to emerge a winner with her pride intact..I really liked it.