Monday, February 27, 2012

Losing game

You know what the problem is? Ego. Pride. Oh, it’s your fault, I'm not gonna text you first/ You don't care so why should I/ No, you should be the one apologizing/ Yeah, you first.

So both of you play this waiting game. Waiting like fools, oblivious to, and ignorant of such an amazing thing you are already holding on to. You think too much and you feel too little. And you wonder how it slipped right through your fingers.

What happens when love is disappointed? This disappointment turns to anger. Once this madness retreats, a massive wave of sadness overwhelms you. So you stay angry for as long as you can. And behind the anger lies the ravenous desire for love. They fail to give it a name. This is the kind of revenge that you usually use against the people who derail you at a moment’s notice. You want to give them the taste of their own medicine. You want to arouse in them a little sensitivity and awareness of how you felt, enough for them to realize how much emotional torment you have been through. This is the kind of revenge not brought by the promise of justice, not rooted from hate, but from love.

When you give someone the power to break you, they abuse it like it’s their prerogative. So to guard your heart, you cage your feelings. You morph into a clam: cold, hard and tightly shut. You build walls: formidable and impenetrable. You become capable of apathy.

But you gain nothing out of making them regret what they did to you. And keeping them out is not “you winning”.