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It’s so hard to ignore it. That little flash of dark or light out of the corner of your eye. Something moved or was there and now is not.

You know what I’m talking about. That little tingle up your spine, the tap on your shoulder, the whisper in your ear…that unaccountable feeling that something or someone else is there.

Watching you.

They may not mean you harm or any interference at all. They may simply be watching out of curiosity or an inability to understand whatever strange thing it is you’re doing at the moment. They may be listening to you talk about them or the possibility of “them”.

Whatever the cause, they’re there. They are. You may feel it, you may not. Or, like a friend of mine, you may even get other senses involved. Touch, taste, smell…

It’s all electrical signals to the brain translated into perception. So if you believe that energy, once created, never dies…well, then it’s easy to jump to the conclusion that “they” are an energy signature left on the fabric of time.

It’s only a matter of time until you deny they exist, you go crazy, or you accept them. It’s rather hard to accept them. I’m always afraid that I’ll not be able to turn it off. It intrigues me to be able to communicate with the “other” in this reality, but it scares the hell out of me, too! There are some things that I just might be better off NOT knowing!

All this thought is actually starting to hurt my brain this early in the morning, and I’m tired, so I’ll part…but just think about it. What should my reaction be when I see/touch/taste/feel/smell these “others”? So far, I’ve politely asked them to leave on the grounds that it was impolite to stay at the house when I wasn’t there, and that when I came back, I wanted to get ready for bed and that was entirely improper to have them there for that. :D I think it worked, at least on three of the four. I think the fourth may be a little stubborn, but that’s okay.

He spawned an amazing son whom I love very dearly. (boyfriend’s deceased dad!)

So I’m going to go now, and if you read this, no matter if you’re a stranger or not, it’s okay. I’d appreciate your input. Should I tolerate THAT ghost? his dad. We shall see. :D

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I know it’s been a while since I posted to my (1) fan, and perhaps there are a few more of you out there, checking in from a link on fanfiction.net. If you’re looking for a really different story from my normal, and perhaps a glimpse into my little crazy mind, then check out my story Prime’s Number at fanfiction. If you want a crackfic, check out Ironhide: Meet Master Chief! there as well. I’m planning another crackfic later on (perhaps for my 4000th hit) tentatively titled Ratchetricity, where we delve into a night in the life of a transformer who’s obsessed with human electricity! And it’s not for the kiddies! LOL Oh, that will be fun. I don’t have it written yet, but we’ll see. At the rate I’m cracking out Prime’s Number, I’ll have more written work on fanfiction than I have on my computer. I’m on Chapter 16 and 29,000+ words! And I’ve only been writing a month!

GAH!

Twist8of8f8 has been helping me with the story line on PN and it’s really shaping up into something interesting. It’s basically a Transformers fanfiction exploring reasons for Megatron’s betrayal and enmity with Optimus Prime, as well as giving OP a love interest. Some of it plays off of previous storylines from G1, but I’m trying to contain it within what’s possible after the 2007 movie. I’ve come up with some things that some may not like because it’s not canon, but hey, it’s writing. Who got anywhere good without bending the rules a bit?

10:09 pm: So. Here I am, waiting for my pizza to arrive after a long and grueling day of boredom and familial politics (think Golden Girls meets the Sopranos). My dog is laying on the floor, pissed at me for not playing with her. I’ve got doggie-do on the kitchen floor because I tracked it in from watering the plants and forgot to check my shoes before coming inside. That may have to wait until morning because I just can’t muster enough interest in that part of my house tonight. And I’m off tomorrow, so that gives me the excuse I need to wait and mop it in the morning.

It’s times like these that life feels stagnant, like a pool of water caught on the beach, heating up and cooking the poor little fish unfortunate enough to be caught in it before the tide ran out on them. I feel like one of those little fish. Or at least a crab. I won’t boil quite as quickly, but damn! it’s still hot!

12:30 am: What I’m trying to say is that I feel stuck, pressured, irritated, and stifled in the life I have at this moment. I feel like Anne Elliot from Jane Austen’s Persuasion (which I just persuaded myself to watch now that I’ve eaten my pizza). I identify very much with that character, always feeling like family looks past me and takes advantage of me. People say I should be grateful to have a family.

They know me NOT. One could not be more grateful to have a family than I. I, who know very well what each of my parents gave up just to adopt me. I! I know the value of family!

Though they will always show me the tiny ripple in the pane of glass that separates me from my non-blood relatives, I still look through that glass. Every damn day.

Yes, I know, I sound bitter right now.

I would like, just for once, to not be the family diplomat, left to clean up others’ verbal mistakes and messes. Just for once, I would like to watch a family member take care of their own problem on their own and be proud of them for it.

Now, bitterness aside, I highly recommend reading fanfiction. If only for a bit of escapism. And if you feel up for some soul-wrenching epic stories, go to my profile on fanfiction.net and look up my favorites. Look for Cyndi. Anything by Cyndi involving Optimus Prime and Megatron, or Starscream and Unicron. Unlikely as hell, but it will make you cry and take you out of your little world, if only for a lovely brief moment.

And lovely brief moments are like the typos of life. Enjoyable as hell and sometimes great for a giggle!

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