My TV Guilt

15Oct

I have shows that I like to watch, that no one else does. I’m not just talking the people that I live with, but family and friends. 1. The Hills: I never watched the Laguna Beach, I got sucked into The Hills I think last year, after I made fun of a cousin for watching it. I think it was karma or something. Anyway I have to watch it, and I even record to watch it all by myself. There’s something soothing and hypnotic about really dumb rich people. That said, I can’t stand Real House Wives shows. I know, isn’t that weird? I even feel bad for the main girls sometimes and yell at the TV. “YOU NEED A FRIEND LIKE ME!” I would probably get in fights all the time. I hate Spenser and Heidi with a passion. And I don’t think Heidi ever watches the show because if she did she’s dumber then I thought because anyone watching the show can tell that Spenser is a sociopath and quite possibly a murderer, I’m not sure. And the flesh colored facial hair…DON’T GET ME STARTED! Ugh, and Audrina with her stupid boyfriend/but says he’s not her boyfriend Justin/Bobby. First off, dude seriously, how did you ever let people start calling you that. And second. You’re a douche bag. Audrina might be vapid and a bit of a cardboard cut out but you sir, need to jump off a cliff. Oh and Kristin Cavaliari…Okay not a good switch from L.C. What a vulture/bitch! I call her a vulture and I would probably say it to her face, if I were drunk enough, because she just goes after guys that all her “friends” just dumped. Seriously? I wonder why they’re ex’s in the first place? Oh but she knows what she wants. She wants the leftovers. Oh yeah!

2. Naughty Kitchen with Chef Blythe: Holy crap, the woman’s voice drives me nuts, but I can’t stop watching. It’s, I don’t even know what it is, but it’s awesomeness. Everything is naughty, and I love it! And the “door whores” are hilariously stupid. And I love that she actually says that as she walks away. “I feel dumber after talking to them.” Dude. I want to meet her. She just seems like someone I would hang with. I just think it’s hilarious that she’s always talking “naughty” about everything and she sounds like a sorority girl who’s smoked too many cigs and sucked too many dicks.

3. Real World vs. Road Rules Challenges: All of them. I don’t watch The Real World by itself, and I don’t think Road Rules is even on anymore. But the Challenges. Oh hells yeah I watch them. Those I make Jesse watch. This season is awesome. Some girl popped her implants belly flopping into the ocean. If that’s not awesome I don’t know what is. I’ve missed one or two this season, but not to worry, they show them all again and again and again on MTV. At this very moment I’m on MTV.com to see what exactly happened with Shauvon’s boobs. I’m worried! That’s the worst crying I’ve ever seen! Ohh I love highlights.

4. Hoarders: Only because sometimes I feel like I could be that out of control…but then I couldn’t stand the smell.

5. Intervention: I think I just like watching other people in pain. Is that wrong? Yeah probably. But I like to hope for them that they triumph. Honestly I do. I watch every one of them with the hope that the people will get better. And seriously after how many years this has been on you think that these addicts would get a little wiser to the game…”Hmmm video cameras following me about my addiction…nooo they couldn’t be intervention!”

6. A Haunting, Paranormal State: I used to watch Ghost Hunters but it’s lame now because the only thing they catch is spiders really. Everything else happens off camera, and in the end they don’t do anything for the haunted. I like P.S. because they help the people and they believe them that they are actually haunted. And a Haunting is just pure re-enactment gold. I like Halloween time for TV if only for the real life ghost stories. I’m not too keen on horror movies, but if it’s a true ghost story I’m game. I’m still in awe that my neighbor can see ghosts. I keep wanting to go to haunted housees with her.