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I agree with Nyanna on this one. Of course pretty much all African Americans in the US have some portion of white ancestry, admitted or note, but it doesn't always show up as a "visible" physical attribute.

Far too frequently, when looking at the "ideal" for black women, it looks a whole lot less "african" and a whole lot more white. (Of course there is a ton of genetic diversity in Africa too, so this is pretty subjective.)

So when you don't have these features (read lighter skin, "good hair," and narrower nose), comments start pretty early, and you start to think you are less than.

There are some regional differences, and it depends on the communities you grow up in too. I wasn't aware of this until I got older and moved to the South. Where I grew up in CA, there weren't many other black people. So no one really talked about it, and of course as a kid you haven't yet been socialized yet to see these differences.

I remember growing up, my cousins from the south would make comments about our future weddings (ok I wasn't a little girl wedding planner, but many people were) and "proclaimed" that since I had lots of white friends, I would marry a white guy and my kids would have good hair! Keep in mind were around 8 when this happened. I hadn't heard about this whole "good hair" thing so I asked my parents, and then we started talking about colorism.

By the time I got to middle school, I started to notice the pattern:[*]the most popular actresses in my favorite shows were all mixed or biracial[*]everyone started claiming Native American ancestry or other to be more "exotic"[*]"black" women on TV were played by Dominican or Puerto Rican women[*]Jet beauty's of the week were mainly lighter in tone (and of course had straight hair or weaves)

Basically people who did not look like me were beautiful, according to mainstream media. I got the message.

I found that on the flipside, white people (depending on their type) were actually more appreciative of the varying skin tones we have than other black people (stereotyping here) and white people who really wanted to identify with black culture (these people bought into the concept of "exotic" black women being the most beautiful). By the time I got to college this was even more apparent, the differences in how my looks were perceived by other ethnic groups. M

Sadly, the colorism issue really isn't different for other ethnic groups either. Asians (south, southeast and east), Latinos (South America and in Mexico) all have the same issue.

The best I can hope for is increased conversations about this and more diverse role models. So all of us can feel like our beauty is appreciated.

No, the statement was of ALL the women she had seen in Boston, of every race, the most beautiful had been this mixed race woman. The only reason the phrase "as far as black women go" was because she was responding to a post that said black women with blonde hair were tacky. And seeing as most half black/half white people seem to identify more closely with their black half, she thought it was a fitting example of how a black woman can look beautiful and natural with blonde hair.

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No, she was comparing mixed black women to full looking black women. And she finds biracial women to be much prettier than black women. That is what she is REALLY saying. That is what the media says, and pretty much the rest of the world. I have yet to hear anyone say they find full black women prettier or prefer us to mixed women its always the other way around

Quote:

Have you ever noticed that you and one other particular poster are the ONLY black women who seem to regularly get offended by these sort of threads? And yet y'all are far from the only black women who roam these boards

Maybe they are mixed looking. Maybe they have those type of features so it doesn't bother them to hear those things. But I don't have any mixed features and it bothers me each and everytime I hear biracial women praised over black women. It just reaffirms how ugly society finds women with my looks

Quote:

nyanna, you don't sound very refreshed to me.

I was before but right now I am not. That comment put me in a very bad mood

No, the statement was of ALL the women she had seen in Boston, of every race, the most beautiful had been this mixed race woman. The only reason the phrase "as far as black women go" was because she was responding to a post that said black women with blonde hair were tacky. And seeing as most half black/half white people seem to identify more closely with their black half, she thought it was a fitting example of how a black woman can look beautiful and natural with blonde hair.

Have you ever noticed that you and one other particular poster are the ONLY black women who seem to regularly get offended by these sort of threads? And yet y'all are far from the only black women who roam these boards.

I'm very sad for you then. If your self esteem is so dependant on what others deem attractive, you will forever live in a prison of your own making. You will never think you are attractive to anyone else unless and until you consider yourself attractive by your own standards.

This reminds me of the natural beauty thread. I was like lalala, I am going to go into a thread about naturally beautiful women but what it was was a thread saying that BLACK WOMEN WERE MORE NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL THAN WHITE OR ANY OTHER RACE BETTER SMILES, DON'T AGE LIKE THE OTHER, ETC.

Now Nyanna is combing threads looking for a smidgeon of something she can say someone is using against black women. Well you sure were all over the racial band wagon in that thread Nyanna. You have no business quoting this person the way you have after you openly trashed women of any other race besides black in the other one.

Join Date: Dec 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
I actually also think this is a racist thread that will more than likely not end well. As an almost forty year old white woman, I believe all women are beautiful. I believe there are beautiful woman of all nationalities and race. If I had to choose one, I would have to lean towards the Indian woman.

My smile is just as lovely as any black womans smile and I am also aging well. This has much to do with how we take care of ourselves. This has to do with whether or not we smoke, or put poisons in our body, or spend too much time in the sun.

I must say, I have seen many much older African American women who look much younger than they are. I have seen the same in all other people. being in the medical field and having women come to me, and having their age readily available in front of me, many times I am surprised, and I will tell them as much. Again, all nationalities or races.

I have also seen women who are 80 years old or so, with their wrinkles and grey hair. They have years behind them and have raised their families. They have lost many family members yet they are still here. I look at them and I think that they are just beautiful.

OP is making a broad generalization that black women are just better looking than white women. Well, I have seen some ugly ass black women. But, I've also seen some ugly ass white women as well. LMAO.

My grandma had a nurse. She was a black lady, about 60 years old. Let me tell you right now, she was not pretty to look at. On top of that, she smoked, talked fast, and at times...I am just gonna come out with it....acted ghetto.

So, I got to spending some time with Jessie. She took pretty good care of my grandmother, but many times did not show up for work. Her daughter kept taking off with her car. She couldn't drive but owned a car so that her daughter could drive her.

Sometimes I would go get her, sometimes my mother would, sometimes her daughter would bring her. She became more of a friend to my mother and grandmother than a caregiver but no one ever really said anything. I became my grandmothers as well as my mothers primary care giver. My grandmother ended up having to go into a nursing home after a stay in the hospital and Jessie stopped coming out.

I don't know how much longer it was that my mother passed away, maybe a half a year but Jessie was the first person to come out and help with every thing. She was a beautiful person.

I do take offense to many of the black women who come here jumping on the we are better than you bandwagon.

That was the end of my post she quoted ^^^^^^ Her post is to follow.
You are just being a very jealous white woman who cannot stand anything positive being said about black women. Just a shame. The world is always proclaiming that white women are beautiful and just ONE thread talking about the beauty of black women gets your panties in a bunch. Very selfish of you

[+] Rate this post positively

Yes, I am a very jealous white woman. You can't do anything but jump all over people all the time saying they are racist blah blah.

You search for things to quote people so you can say oh look, she said black people are ugly.

You are the ugly black person, and it has nothing to do with your looks, from what I can tell. It has to do with your attitude.

This reminds me of the natural beauty thread. I was like lalala, I am going to go into a thread about naturally beautiful women but what it was was a thread saying that BLACK WOMEN WERE MORE NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL THAN WHITE OR ANY OTHER RACE BETTER SMILES, DON'T AGE LIKE THE OTHER, ETC.

Now Nyanna is combing threads looking for a smidgeon of something she can say someone is using against black women. Well you sure were all over the racial band wagon in that thread Nyanna. You have no business quoting this person the way you have after you openly trashed women of any other race besides black in the other one.

Join Date: Dec 2011
1,856 posts, read 467,483 times
Blog Entries: 2
Reputation: 1043
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
I actually also think this is a racist thread that will more than likely not end well. As an almost forty year old white woman, I believe all women are beautiful. I believe there are beautiful woman of all nationalities and race. If I had to choose one, I would have to lean towards the Indian woman.

My smile is just as lovely as any black womans smile and I am also aging well. This has much to do with how we take care of ourselves. This has to do with whether or not we smoke, or put poisons in our body, or spend too much time in the sun.

I must say, I have seen many much older African American women who look much younger than they are. I have seen the same in all other people. being in the medical field and having women come to me, and having their age readily available in front of me, many times I am surprised, and I will tell them as much. Again, all nationalities or races.

I have also seen women who are 80 years old or so, with their wrinkles and grey hair. They have years behind them and have raised their families. They have lost many family members yet they are still here. I look at them and I think that they are just beautiful.

OP is making a broad generalization that black women are just better looking than white women. Well, I have seen some ugly ass black women. But, I've also seen some ugly ass white women as well. LMAO.

My grandma had a nurse. She was a black lady, about 60 years old. Let me tell you right now, she was not pretty to look at. On top of that, she smoked, talked fast, and at times...I am just gonna come out with it....acted ghetto.

So, I got to spending some time with Jessie. She took pretty good care of my grandmother, but many times did not show up for work. Her daughter kept taking off with her car. She couldn't drive but owned a car so that her daughter could drive her.

Sometimes I would go get her, sometimes my mother would, sometimes her daughter would bring her. She became more of a friend to my mother and grandmother than a caregiver but no one ever really said anything. I became my grandmothers as well as my mothers primary care giver. My grandmother ended up having to go into a nursing home after a stay in the hospital and Jessie stopped coming out.

I don't know how much longer it was that my mother passed away, maybe a half a year but Jessie was the first person to come out and help with every thing. She was a beautiful person.

I do take offense to many of the black women who come here jumping on the we are better than you bandwagon.

That was the end of my post she quoted ^^^^^^ Her post is to follow.
You are just being a very jealous white woman who cannot stand anything positive being said about black women. Just a shame. The world is always proclaiming that white women are beautiful and just ONE thread talking about the beauty of black women gets your panties in a bunch. Very selfish of you

[+] Rate this post positively

Yes, I am a very jealous white woman. You can't do anything but jump all over people all the time saying they are racist blah blah.

You search for things to quote people so you can say oh look, she said black people are ugly.

You are the ugly black person, and it has nothing to do with your looks, from what I can tell. It has to do with your attitude.

You don't understand what I am going through.

You don't have to walk into a room and hear people boasting about how their babies got 'good hair' and lightskin.

I've actually been asked if I was mixed race on a few occasions. Instead of taking this as an insult to my race, I've said no and then thought how strange it was afterward.

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