ARTHURI've got sixty dollars to my name. My kid...my kid...he needs shots and all this other shit...hospital bills and all that...it's just...it's all fucked. He can't do this to me, not for thirty-eight hundred bucks, he can't.

SYDNEYYou know you're not gonna get shot up over this....

ARTHUR...he sends you to talk to me, I know it means something, Syd...

(beat)...no, no....I'm just calling to say hello.(beat)I'm in Reno. Yes. Yeah, well. No. I said, I said, "No."(beat)It's almost Christmas.......just to call, I figured I'd call.(beat)...are my kids home, are my....Do you have number? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.(pause)Well maybe you can give a message for me...I'm at the Pepper...Peppermill. ...yeah...it's room number 1508...uh-huh.(beat)It would be nice. Well, it just might be nice...it doesn't...Okay. Uh-huh. Okay. Well.(beat)I guess that's...that's...Yes. Yes. Okay, well, I'm getting off the phone now. I'm getting off the phone now, Arlene. Good bye.

Wednesday, September 04, 1996

CLEMENTINEI can't believe I just thought of this... do you wanna hear a funny story? Oh my god --

JOHNWhat?

CLEMENTINEThere was this guy and this girl, I don't know them, my friend knew the girl and she told me about this story...oh my god...so this guy and this girl -- they went to high school together. And all through high school, they really like each other but they were always together with other people. But still, on the side, they were always looking at each other, smiling and kind of noticing each other, but nothing ever happens. So they graduate and they both go off to different colleges and two years pass -- and it's summer vacation and they're both back in town, back from school and they happen to bump into each other on the street. "Oh my God, Hi How Are You?" "What are you up to?" "Nothing, what about you?" "Oh you know, same old thing." They're both thinking about each other's boyfriend and girlfriend from high school, right? So he asks her,"Are you still going out with so and so...?"She says, "No, we broke up..." She says to him, "Are you still going out with..." He says, "No, it didn't work out, we broke up." SO they're both like: cool, this could work out. So they get together that night, they have a date, they go and eat, they have a beautiful and great dinner....they're both a little nervous, though. So outside the restaurant, they have their first kiss -- and it's beautiful and sweet and perfect. So they look at each other and he says, "Come stay with me, lets' go back to my apartment." They agree -- but then he remembers he's got his roommate and all this so it won't work out. She's staying with her parents so that won't really work - but she tells him she has this empty apartment that she's about to move into but there is nothing in it -- no water, or heat, electricity, just a mattress -- well, they finally decide and say, "All we need is a mattress, let's go back to the apartment." So they go back...they have sex and it's great...no first time jitters, nothing awkward, it's just like....perfect, right? Perfect sex and they're totally, totally in love. Afterwards, they're in bed, they're naked and holding each other in their arms and she starts feeling his body, he says, "It's all muscle, y'know, look:" So he turns his back to her and lifts his arms like this -- and he tightens up, flexing his back muscles real hard and -- BOOM! This projectile turd shoots right out of his butt and lands SMACK on her neck....this poo hits her right in the neck -- Now remember, they're in this apartment with no towels no water, nothing -- so they get up - get dressed, they drive down to a gas station and they have to hose her off -- they hose this poo off of her neck -- and then he drove her to her parents house and that was it -- they never spoke again -- can you believe that?

SYDNEYHere...(he offers John some cash)Go to the mall and get something new. John will take you.

JOHNI got money, Syd.(to Clem)I'll take you, would you like to go?

CLEMENTINEYeah.

SYDNEYAnd that's that. I'll see you later.

Sydney goes back in his room. John looks to Clementine. PAUSE.

JOHN...well...

Clementine smiles at John, he gets her some coffee, gives her a cigarette and lights it for her.

CLEMENTINEThe first one of the day is always the best.

JOHNWanna see a trick?

CLEMENTINESure.

John takes the cigarette from his mouth and very carefully places the filtered end in the crease between his forehead and his nose. He squints down, holding the cigarette in place, makes a motion as if he's inhaling, then blows the smoke from his mouth. Clementine laughs hysterically.

JOHNI can do it with eight cigarettes. Eight cigarettes in this crease between my nose and forehead...

Sunday, September 01, 1996

Sydney driving, John in the passenger seat. HOLD. They drive for a while in silence, then:

SYDNEYMy Uncle died in 1949. He was a policeman in Boston. My Uncle worked as a policeman in Boston for thirteen years and he was fired upon twenty three times in the line of duty without being hit.(beat)One morning: He woke up, got dressed, walked outside and down the street. He went to buy his coffee and his paper. He walked fifty yards from his house...he was fifty yards from reaching the store. He slipped on a patch of ice, fell down and cracked his forehead open on the pavement.

BEAT.

SYDNEYThere are thirty-six possible combinations of numbers on a pair of dice. There's one way to roll a two and six ways to roll a seven. That's the math. That is what can be proven. If you want to roll a four, how can you do it? What are the combinations?

JOHN...Combinations...

SYDNEYWhat number plus what number equals four?

JOHNTwo plus two.

SYDNEYWhat else?

JOHNThree and one.

SYDNEYWhat else?

JOHN...That's it.

SYDNEYOne and three.

JOHNI said that.

SYDNEYThere are three ways to make a four, John. Two and two, three and one, one and three. That's the math. It's the only given in the situation. Only thing is: we can't control how they come up. In walking down the street to buy a cup of coffee, we relinquish the control to what? Maybe, to who? I don't know. But it doesn't matter to what or who or why, because that's the way it is. We've got nothing to do with any of it.(beat)All we can do is bet on it.