He’s Just Not That Into You: Movie Review

You’re wondering, “Why did you guys go see this?”We asked ourselves the same question but the other day one of our readers said that we go a lot further than they do regarding relationships.This got us thinking and since we never get out, we decided to check it out and tell you if it’s worth a date on Saturday.

Lee says: The movie had its moments. The story follows 5 women and their exploits in relationship.There is a married couple, a long time couple and three single women trying to make a connection.The good part in the movie is how they identify that the lead is addicted to the drama of building up a guy only to have him reject her.

Ginnifer Goodwin was a very capable and affable lead with Justin Long providing a good balance to her bubbly personality.Wait a second… you don’t read coupledumb for that!You want a rant don’t you?You think I should be on meds, right?

O.K. here it is.If people were healthy, there would be no romantic comedies.They are all based on miscommunication and games.I think you have figured out by now that I don’t play like that.In this film, if the people would have been honest from the beginning, the film would have been over within 5 minutes.It was predictable in that respect.

However, as a romantic comedy, it was not cringe worthy.Usually these things piss me off to no end (don’t get me started on crap like “Hitch”).People, STOP PLAYING GAMES!This also goes for you people who are in relationship.If people spent as much time deepening their relationships and creating love as they do playing games, we could be living in a friggin utopia.All this teasing and build up makes me need a cigarette and nap.

Paul says: He’s just not that into you did for neurosis what One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest did for psychosis. The movie follows Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) who is all 31 flavors of crazy. We get to watch her mentally masturbate while her friends supply her with every bullshit romance story ever created, which effectively acts as porn to her addiction. Her romantic lead (Justin Long) serves as the guru, offering her an insight into men, and, more importantly, dispensing with the rescuing behavior so indulged in by her peers. It is him that lays out the premise of the movie.And then there is some other stuff with brilliant actors and actresses. Blah, blah, blah.

But, as Lee said, this isn’t about the plot or acting style. So, for a moment I stopped watching the movie and looked out over the audience. With all of the funny, ridiculous, idealist drivel that is the mainstay of the movie, I wondered how many of the audience could pick out the ludicrous from the profound. I saw some people laughing at the right time but there were others that obviously didn’t see what was so funny. And that scared me. We live in a culture where people believe in and, worse, crave soap opera-like romances where jealousy equates with love and the unspoken message in her smoldering eyes says more than the words on her lips. Where speaking of love honestly is the “exception and not the rule”.

When I stepped back and looked at the message of the movie in the context of our society, it made me sad. Finding love really is not so hard but how can love exist if it is not nurtured with the manna of honesty?

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3 comments

Ok, so i live in a fantasy land and I have made a career out of being Gigi for the greater part of my adult life. I thouroughly disliked the movie because to see myself on the big screen acting like a complete idiot was quite painful. The movie had its moments, but for the most part I was disappointed. I have been Gigi for so long. Time for a change, quick, fast and in a hurry!

(Yes, I read your blog.)
I went to see this last Friday, opening night with two girlfriends. About halfway through the movie I had to leave the theater and go to the ladies room to stave off the tears that were quickly forming.
I didn’t find much about this movie cute or appealing. And I knew going in that it wasn’t your typically cutsie, fluffy romantic comedy. But I had such a hard time watching the Bradley Cooper (married man cheating) storyline, having lived some version of it myself. To come out of that movie (I eventually returned to watch the rest of the movie) thinking, oh great, my ex just wasn’t that into me??? Not a place I wanted to go.
On a funnier note, I laughed about what it means when a guy gives you his number instead of asking for yours. I actually think it’s nice, and kinda respectful. I have been in the uncomfortable position of someone wanting me to pony up the number and I haven’t want to. Ick. And let me also say that when I’ve made the call using the offered number, it has always always resulted in at least a couple of dates. Before he realized, of course, that he just wasn’t that into me! Or me into him! 🙂

As a therapist, I spend the better part of my practice focusing on relationship addiction. Although I have not seen the movie I can only imagine that it is filled with the “image building” tactics we engage in when walking into a pseudo relationship. I say pseudo because it is mostly built on lies and stories that enhance our image. Sadly we can never live up to the expectations of our ultra image, so, nor can our potential partners. Perhaps they “arenlt that into you” because of all this BS? Maybe we humans do need deep connection and screen our mates from the superficiality of society to the profound calling in our being to matter? There in lies our existential issue. Do I bullshit or do I take the risk of just being myself and probably meeting the partner of my dreams? good luck everyone… honesty does work. So why not try it?