Art Diamond's web log

Communists Import Giant Rabbits to End Starvation in North Korea

Apparently the North Korean Communist government's plan to end starvation in North Korea, is to import and breed giant German rabbits. If they were really serious, they would do better by respecting property rights, and embracing the free market.

EBERSWALDE, Germany -- Few people raise bigger bunny rabbits than Karl Szmolinsky, who has been producing long-eared whoppers since 1964. His favorite breed, German gray giants, are the size of a full-grown beagle and so fat they can barely hop.

Last year, after the retired chauffeur entered some of his monsters in an agricultural fair, word of his breeding skills spread to the North Korean Embassy in Berlin. Diplomats looked past the cute, furry faces with the twitching noses and saw a possible solution to their nation's endemic food shortage: an enormous bunny in every Korean pot.

The North Koreans approached Szmolinsky in November and asked whether he'd advise them on how to start a rabbit breeding program to help "feed the population," the 67-year-old pensioner recalled in an interview at his home in Eberswalde, an eastern German town a few miles from the Polish border. Sympathetic to the Koreans' plight, he agreed to sell some of his best stock at a steep discount and volunteered to travel to the hermetic nation as a consultant.

. . .

In December, Szmolinsky stuffed six of his rabbits into modified dog carriers and took them to the airport in Berlin, where they boarded a flight for Pyongyang, via Frankfurt, Germany, and Beijing. Robert, a 23-pounder, was the largest of the bunch, which included four female rabbits and one other male carefully selected for their breeding potential.

How, exactly, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea intends to parlay the small herd of German Flopsies into hunger relief for its 23 million citizens is unclear.

Comments

In the Northern Korean paradise they will stop at nothing to find a solution to end the endemic hunger ravaging the communist nation. Kim Jun Il, the splendid leader, psychopath and mentally unstable wants to feed his people with giant German rabbits! Ha ha ha, judging the efficiency level of the economy there the rabbits will probably become midgets, it’s OK next time they can always import elephants.