the more i see it the more i know
your tumblr posts full of lonely uncertainty
leave me alone! i cried, thirteen and emotional
but i am ever glad that they did not
that my fears are not greeted with silence

hey, he says, leans over my shoulder
hey.
he's soft against my cheek but his chin is boney on my arm
it's a weird sort of closeness
where close
is
glue?
or maybe a lifeline.
we used to fight.
like,
you are so damn annoying
but without the cursing because we were young like
shut up you're the worst
like
don't speak to me at night if you don't want to be yelled at
but hey, we're older now and it's
different?
or maybe it's not, like
we were always close but now i finally see it
when your sibling is the worst, am i right?
ten things only a sibling will know:
1. beating each other up over the last cookie
that's just
wrong?
it's fighting but it's gentler
it's i don't want to give you the front seat but i will
it's
bake me a cake for my birthday or good morning here's a hug or here are my secrets that you already know
did you know when i came out he hugged me?
he didn't say a word. just, leaned over and hugged me.
i like to touch his face
ruffle his hair
poke fun at his gangly limbs and sharp, sharp bones and high-pitched, low-pitched voice.
i'm gonna get a tumblr
holy fuck noah i'm filtering out tags for you
it's weird to think we're getting older
when just a heartbeat ago he was playing with trains on our white-carpet floor
thud, thud of the soccer ball against the front door, and at least that hasn't changed
but
now to look at him i have to look up
and
now when i hear his voice i think it's our father's
and
he's fifteen on tuesday and it's such a slow-paced, rapid change
whiplash through the years because
when did you grow up?
(((AN: do you think i should give this to him for his birthday? like i already made him a cake but i don't have an actual present because he's impossible to shop for but the lil bro is gonna be FIFTEEN and i feel like i should do something other than a three-layer cake.)))

You know, I was thinking about this the other day and @drowntown you reminded me. The main page says "it’s a space where teens can see their truths explored and celebrated." The Slam is, by Cicada's own description, a safe space for LGBTQ+ and other marginalized teenagers, and such spaces are frighteningly lacking. I'm lucky in that my parents are supportive, but I looked at the now-you-have-to-pay announcement and I thought, "what about the kids who aren't so lucky? what about the kids who need that safe space because they don't receive it in their home? what about the kids who can't ask their unsupportive parents to pay for a website that calls itself 'an intersectional, LGBTQAI+ friendly publication' on its front page?" It's not fair for those kids to lose that. It's not fair for those of you who need this the most to be cut off because they can't pay. It's fine to put a price tag on a magazine, but on a forum for us to connect with each other? It's just not right.

i saw some interview with one of the winter olympians this morning and they had blood and bruises on their face from when a gust of wind made them fall while doing a flip and they were like laughing so, i agree

Mop frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest. This was just unbelievable. She'd held the title of campus cryptid for centuries without a glitch, and now some obscure demon thought they could challenge her? She didn't think so. "The whole building is my dorm," she said curtly, graciously ignoring the jab about her name (she'd chosen it a long time ago, thinking it had a certain air of abnormality to it without being particularly attention grabbing that she'd found rather fitting. She liked her name, thank you very much, and she wasn't going to put in the effort to defend it against someone named after a vegetable.) "This campus is my territory. And I don't appreciate being spoken to in such a matter, Radish, especially not on my own turf. I am well within my rights to defend against intruding entities, and so no, I am not throwing down any metaphorical gauntlets like you seem to think." She turned towards Nik and gave him a dignified sort of nod. "I already agreed to this McDonald's trip, didn't I? Before I was so aggressively interrupted."
((((Jesus Mop is pretentious.))))
@queenie_flower @drowntown @conradbirdie

About CICADA

CICADA can be smart, funny, weird, hopeful, dark, defiant—it’s a space where teens can see their truths explored and celebrated. We frequently publish teens’ work, as well as fiction, poetry, comics, zines, and interviews by a variety of established writers and artists. CICADA is an intersectional, LGBTQAI+ friendly publication that strives to ensure that teens see their authentic experience reflected on its pages.

About our parent company: At Cricket Media, we believe that challenging children’s minds and connecting kids to learn together does wonders for their confidence, creativity, and curiosity. That’s why we are dedicated to providing award-winning media on a safe and secure learning network to engage, enlighten and educate children everywhere.