Category Archives: stroke survivors

Easter is coming. I want to wish you everything which is good, but that later. If i tell you now, you will not read the important part (( ;

Lately I’ve been spending hours a day talking to one guy;) Sometimes it even sounds feels like a confession – well, since i don’t go to the church, maybe it’s needed. I talk about problems that I’ve been discussing here for past two years too.

And after confessing all of it i hear what? ‚It’s ok, you are more than that’.

At first I was left in deep shock. Because 99 percent of reactions are entirely different.

It’s so rare to hear something like that from person who isn’t that involved into your problems for, at least months.

Typical reactions are rather like this:

uno: uncomfortable curiosity. Tell me more, how did you earn that, why don’t you get a job?

Two: astonishment. So young? Whaaaat? Does it even happen?

Three: being snooty. Come on, you are healthy already. You are all right. I told you before that you should lead healthier lifestyle.

There are some more, but come on. These reactions make it difficult to talk about illnesses in general, and make it hard to meet new people.

But sometimes unexpected happens. You are more than this.

I know i was writing about all these things on my polish blog in the context of working of our wellbeing. But now I see, that there are people who can see us not by separate components, but the sum of them. thats why I’m in the perfect mood, and I’m having great Easter. And my mood affects my family in a really good way.

Now my wishes:

I wish you the happiest Easter time. i wish you that all the cakes would end up on taste buds, not in adipose tissue. I wish you dry Wet Monday (i hate changing clothes several times a day) and good people around, who see the sum, not components.

This video has been online for few years, but I’ve seen it just recently. Maybe someone else haven’t watched it:

You don’t need to listen to what she says to see her face dropping, understand that she is struggling with the hand. She talks about other things too. For example about feeling numb. Or about the fact, that she had been released from hospital just recently.

She recorded the video to show her doctors what was her problem before symptoms were gone. Quick reaction and taking the phone can seem bit funny, but it helped doctors to diagnose her with three TIAs. Without video they thought that she was feeling badly from being tired or something like that.

Stacey Yepes was driving home (i had TIA behind the wheel too). Now she says that she keeps receiving messages from friends and strangers, that this vid helped someone to recognize a stroke. Continue reading

Mr. Marek was one of these who didn’t keep their balance after a brain stroke, not speaking about walking. We were seeing each other at mr. Krzytof’s physiotherapy daily. I was a witness of his successes which – i must admit – were spectacular.

We spoke a bit during our rehabilitation. When I was telling him that it’s worth to read aloud for yourself to practice speaking, he was saying that he is speaking to him self a lot. He had many plans before the stroke, including redecorating the kitchen. He had to discuss these things as he didn’t know whether he has to do adjustments for disabled.

When, after stroke ward, but on a rehabilirtation unit he stopped talking to himself. He had many men around to practice speaking. Logical.

But I saw him ferom his first days in a hospital and I was like a fan of him. I watched closely and I saw man who is not complaining and day by day is getting better. I told him that. He was giving me the best smile ever.

And he left hospital just few days before me. I didn’t ask him about it, but somehow I think that adjustments for disabled will not be needed.

Of course I’m very proud but it’s not only about it. I wanted to say that wasn’t easy. Even process of writing itself was very tough and I even stopped rehabilitation (seriously!), I have constant headache and I’m stressed out of millions of reasons. Maybe my work is not unassisted enough, as my friend (the best editor ever) edited my text (she says that not much, but still..). Maybe the text is not good enough. Maybe I will not send next text on time. Maybe they will thank me for my help and I will lose internship. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

It’s just internship, they are not too demanding. But still I’m full of fear and doubts. But let’s go further.

I sent CV to the Foundation just before second stroke. When they contacted me lately I had millions of doubts. But I wrote the text, noone read it, I was accepted without any help. it wasn’t easy for me, but I did it! But you know I’ve been working for it since 9th of May 2015, when I published my first note on m Polish stroke blog, www.lewaczka.pl.

I write daily. I write here, on my Polish site, I write private things just to exercise. I’ve never been so hard-working in my job I have to admit:) But it’s like 1,5 year or daily rehabilitation. It didn’t come over a day. And I wouldn’t be so determined if I didn’t know about my readers. When I get messages like this I’m over the moon.

meaning: thanks for another motivation for me. I’ve had my elliptical trainer for 2 years, but now I’m feeling bored with it. But from now on I’m starting training again:)

Because I see it’s sensible. And after messages like his

meaning: I wish you quick return to your home

it’s so moving for me that my eyes sometimes get wet. I can’t help it.

And when you share your stories or ask for help, i feel more than honored. And you know what – without your support, without support of my family and friends, this article wouldn’t have happened.

But ok – let’s add something bitter to this sweetness;) I’m fully aware that many people after strokes will not regain full functionality. I’m somehow convinced that even me myself will not recover fully. I might look well, but this ‚might’ thing is nothing in comparison the ‚healthy’ i remember.

Some of us may struggle or regaining something really basic, I don’t know, like speaking or well balance while getting up. And I’m feeling guilty sometimes for talking so much about working out and faith while I stood up and moved my arms so quickly. But I see that good expectations management can bring plenty of good things to our lives. I always joke about my future literary Nobel prize, but I don’t expect it. It’s nice to dream though. It’s important to manage your goals and expectations well and always dream about bit better. The way is long and hard, and made of thousands of small steps. We go further with these baby steps, and feel this is slow. But when you look back on all the steps you’ve taken you see that road was super long. And the end is not even in sight. And when I think what I’ve achieved, it’s like a huge thing. Not only the article. Also being able to sit without any help. Walking by myself.

After second stroke (shame on it!) I feel rather depressed and full of doubts, but it’s temporary thing, not to be expressed loudly, cause I know that I’m not in a position to complain. In general there is some hope for me. And for all of us:)

Yeah. Now I’m sending all of you (all of us?) plenty of warm thoughts for a World Stroke Day. I wish all good, strokeless life, And if stroke is already here, I wish you no repetition:) And with these words I finish this exalted text and I’m going to Spanish conversation.

As I was telling everyone on my Polish blog… We re going to inaugurate there one project regarding spasticity. To tell the truth I have no idea how it is going to look exactly, but I really hope that main beneficiaries will be you, not the sponsor;p

But when I saw that it’s available I was scared to watch it. I expected it could be a hard experience for me, stroke survivor myself, who finds it hard to discover beauty in her brand new brain.

Curiosity won. I watched it. With a cafe break in the middle because it was too emotional for me. Not because of the story, I knew what to expect after a stroke. Because of detailed insight of someone else’s stroke and all the emotions behind it. If you know, what I mean.

First time in my life I saw material that gave so close insight to the world of a stroke survivor. And it doesn’t matter that details of my experience were much different from Lotje’s. Principles stayed just the same.

If I’m faced to the question, „who am I?”, I’m someone who has huge amount of friends, very hard-working, travels all over the world, loves to read. What if all that evidence is removed? What does that make me?

says Lotje, 34-years old stroke survivor. It might seem even too philosophical, but actually most of stroke survivors have to deal with this question. And find their way of answering it. Movie is full of such questions and shows a way of finding answers. Even if it’s not always explicit.

For me one of the most important aspects of movie was filmmaking itself. I have a deep feeling that recording everything was not only a way to remember things for Lotje. It was helping her to understand what’s going on and put this brand new experience into an understandable structure. To tell the truth, my blog (first, Polish version) did the same thing for me. I was starting it with different goals, the more conscious way of experiencing myself came as a bonus. Which now is one of the most important things in my life.

All of it – story, the heroin, visuals, montage, edition looks brilliant and makes a great documentary. Really good one, modern and touching. I could easily imagine it nominated to Oscar prize, not only because it is „my” theme.

I fell on the floor. I was mumbling and my friends couldn’t understand a single word of mine. I kept trying to stand up but it didn’t work. I didn’t know what was happening and I wansn’t cooperating with my friends.

Now I imagine that if my stroke happened few hours later, my friend might have thought „oh noooo, she got drunk and I have trouble now!” and then help me to get to the couch. Without calling 911 (or 112). And in the morning I could be dead.

How lucky I am that in the moment of stroke I wasn’t in the metro. I really am. Life of this policeman was destroyed twice. It could be any of us.

I’m not saying that we should help every drunkenhead on our way, but one of my biggest wishes is to raise awareness of a stroke problem. Please know that obvious doesn’t have to be obvious. And also that paying attention to things around can save someone’s life.