Subject:men that bad? Please enlighten...

This is just being thrown to the board...I figure some women reading may know more of abuse issues with men, so I'm asking..

Anyone work for a shelter, in the know, what the average ithat a woman is involved in 'continuous' abusive relationships.

After hearing an interview with AI Kelly Picklers' mother say she,(the mother),went through SEVERAL abusive relationships over her life so far,I wonder is she attracting BAD men? or unlucky? or clueless after the first couple of abuse incidents, men are the devil, or this woman sure knows how to turn a guy into a combative being...

When you hear someone say they were in SEVERAL abusive situations what do you think of them?

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:midniteon05/13/08 at 7:56 pm

IMO she is not attractING bad men but attractED TO bad men. She keeps getting into relationships with the same type of men and allows them to abuse her. Abuse destroys self esteem and makes it so the person being abused cannot do things or think on their own. Prolonged abuse makes it so they need someone to tell them what to do and treat them poorly. They become so afraid to make decisions and do things that in the next relationship (though perhaps unconciously) they look for the same type of person to take-charge and tell them what to do.

This person needs to speak to a counselor. I had a friend who was in an abusive relationship for 6 months. It took twice as long (one year) of counseling to get back to normal.

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:MaxwellSmarton05/13/08 at 10:48 pm

WTF is a an A1 Kelly Pickler? ::)

Bottom line, I'm an old yankee believer in minding one's own business. However, if there are extant signs of serious neglect and abuse, then you can make it your business.

How did some old yankees get to believing in minding one's own business? By watching other old yankees not minding their own business! :P

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:quirky_cat_girlon05/13/08 at 10:50 pm

WTF is a an A1 Kelly Pickler? ::)

Kelly Pickler was a contestant on American Idol a few seasons ago.

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:MaxwellSmarton05/13/08 at 10:54 pm

Kelly Pickler was a contestant on American Idol a few seasons ago.

Ohhhh...I misread it as A1. Like A1 Steak Sauce or something.

Sincerely yours,

Albert Einstein

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:nallyon05/13/08 at 10:56 pm

Kelly Pickler was a contestant on American Idol a few seasons ago.

that's right...she was in the country music genre, along with Carrie Underwood.

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:quirky_cat_girlon05/13/08 at 10:58 pm

Ohhhh...I misread it as A1. Like A1 Steak Sauce or something.

Sincerely yours,

Albert Einstein

:D ;D

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:Bobbyon05/14/08 at 2:11 pm

IMO she is not attractING bad men but attractED TO bad men.

Bang on target.

There are men and women out there who just fall for people who are no good for them and they often know it as well ('I can change him' or 'you don't know him like I do' are all text-book rationalisations). The trouble is these people have put themselves into a habitual vicious circle, doomed to repeat the same mistakes again and again.

The problem is inside themselves and once they realise what that core problem is they will realise they are self-destructing with each relationship.

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:Reynolds1863on05/14/08 at 2:54 pm

I think some of it is the mentality of "real men aren't supposed to be sensitive, caring . . . Perhaps it's the need of the woman to be submissive. In the case of multiple abusive relationships.

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:Bobbyon05/14/08 at 3:07 pm

I think some of it is the mentality of "real men aren't supposed to be sensitive, caring . . . Perhaps it's the need of the woman to be submissive. In the case of multiple abusive relationships.

I personally think the problem with men is they don't know what they are supposed to be to appease the female majority. They get conflicting stimulus all the time on what women are 'supposed' to want. Some try to do their best not to tread on any woman's toes and some go the other way and say; 'sod this, I will think, feel and be what I like'.

Regarding abusive relationships, it does depend on the people involved. A naturally submissive person will always follow a dominant partner whether it's to their injury or not. I know plenty of submissive men and dominant women though these men aren't usually classed as 'sensitive and caring' but more likely classed as 'hen-pecked doormats'.

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:Reynolds1863on05/14/08 at 3:17 pm

I personally think the problem with men is they don't know what they are supposed to be to appease the female majority. They get conflicting stimulus all the time on what women are 'supposed' to want. Some try to do their best not to tread on any woman's toes and some go the other way and say; 'sod this, I will think, feel and be what I like'.

Regarding abusive relationships, it does depend on the people involved. A naturally submissive person will always follow a dominant partner whether it's to their injury or not. I know plenty of submissive men and dominant women though these men aren't usually classed as 'sensitive and caring' but more likely classed as 'hen-pecked doormats'.

Right too sensitive you're considered either wimpy or gay to women. Not only that there are times when a woman wants a tough guy. The problem is when and how much. Mixed signals are a pain for men. I've got two brothers and quite a few male friends and they complain about it all the time. It usually ends with I don't know what she wants, and I can't read her mind. The damned if I do, damned if I don't dilemma.

Subject:Re: men that bad? Please enlighten...

Written By:Bobbyon05/14/08 at 3:44 pm

Right too sensitive you're considered either wimpy or gay to women. Not only that there are times when a woman wants a tough guy. The problem is when and how much. Mixed signals are a pain for men. I've got two brothers and quite a few male friends and they complain about it all the time. It usually ends with I don't know what she wants, and I can't read her mind. The damned if I do, damned if I don't dilemma.

Yeah, lol. We men generally think in a very literal way when it comes to interpretation and I think that irritates women and, in turn, irritates men when they don't get the desired response.

Men and women don't appreciate that men and women have different thought processes and priorities. It's only when this is appreciated that understanding from both sides can occur.