Sharing Inspiring Self-Help Wisdom By Author, Marilyn Fowler

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“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” ~ Robin Williams

The words we speak not only affect others but they affect the speaker too. We assign meanings to the words we use and those we hear. And these meanings register in our mind, affecting the way we think and feel. Words are powerful tools that can bring happiness to a broken heart, peace to a tired soul, whimsical laughter to a child at play. They convey profound ideas or play with the absurd. They describe our neighbors and discuss the latest gossip.“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.” ~Thomas Jefferson

One word can be as powerful as a whole sentence. When something pushes our buttons, a sentence may push us into a hole, while just one word can get us over the hump. Many people have a ‘key’word they use to reduce stress or to express an attitude or feeling. When my daughter was a small child, she sat on the floor putting a toy together while I visited with my mother-in-law. Suddenly, she said, “Oh, dammit.” And my mother-in-law glared in shock. I tried to cover up with, “I wonder where she got that.” Then she looked up and commented, “What, Mommy, that word you say?” Well, I just sank further into my chair. And yes, I changed my favorite word.
The user of a keyword has to really feel the word for it to become a meaningful habit. Maybe you’ve heard people use ‘oh, well’, ‘really’, ‘whew’, etc. My favorite word now is ‘whatever’. I rarely use it in conversation, but it has an amazing ability to release a tremendous load of stress when I push to frustration trying to accomplish something. To me, it means the situation is not the end of the world, so I can just let it go, at least for now.

Words are powerful. They can create or they can destroy. So choose your words wisely. ~Unknown

Words have been known to change whole civilizations when a crazy person sits in the power seat spouting directions to his helpless subjects. They gather in the streets carrying signs with words of protest. But they remain helpless, and eventually bend to oppression. When we hear false statements long enough, we tend to believe them. And today we live in a world where words have transformed peaceful, caring minds into ‘us and them’ attitudes filled with judgment, hate, anger, fear, and separation from one another. Now is when words of love and peace are needed. And a good place to start is with our words to ourselves about who we are.

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” ~Anthony Robbins

Thoughts speak with words, and these words create beliefs and feelings about ourselves and others. Listen carefully to what your own thoughts are saying about you. Are there doubts about the truth of who you are? And have you allowed the words of others to sway your vision of your true self? Look closely at your self-image, and answer these questions. Then use descriptive words to reveal the truth about you, words like honest, loyal, intelligent, kind, good-looking, anything positive. And add some words for negative traits you can work on. We all have those.
I think three things are important for people to feel whole and fulfilled...understanding, validation, and caring. All of these can be accomplished in the way we speak to others and in the way we hear others speak to us. Too often in conversations, we’re just hearing words, and not really hearing the other person. But if you listen with a caring attitude and your words reflect on what they’re saying, they’ll hear and feel the goodness that is you. Both will feel whole and fulfilled. And they will notforget.

Today, we’re living in a time when too many people have chosen a hateful journey. And we all suffer. Make your journey one of peace, harmony, and love. And let your words reveal this in you and as you. Then our journey may have a different future.

Chaos…that thing that drives us up the wall, that most of us can’t define, but we know how it feels. We avoid it whenever possible, but it does invade our life. Roget’s Thesaurus describes chaos qualities as confusing, disorderly, unruly, disruptive, haphazard, disorganized, undisciplined, etc, etc. You know…the kind of atmosphere you don’t want to be around.

Usually, on our journey through life, everything moves along at a steady predictable pace. But then those bumps in the road project us into a state of chaos, or at least to a point where we need to resurrect our problem-solving gear and get busy reducing its influence on our nervous system. It creeps into our peaceful world when our antennae’s are clogged with all our familiar daily activities. And we just don’t see it coming. Or it can attack suddenly without warning, and transport us from a sunny day at the beach to a sinking ship without a paddle for survival. And we stand in confusion wondering what just happened. We’ve all been there.

Chaos comes in many forms from mild to severe, and can affect us physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. And it can take a toll. Chronic worriers live with chaos, and most don’t realize they’re bringing it on themselves. Every day is a crisis, and the crises don’t end. “What if I lose my job; whatif I can’t pay my bills; what if I get sick; etc.” Their whole life is a chaotic experience. Or Uncle Joe comes to live with your family in your orderly, well run home. He throws his clothes on the floor, drools at the dinner table, turns on lights and music during the night while he raids the fridge, answers your phone with nonsense, etc, etc. That’s chaos, and you’re feeling it big time.

I remember when I welcomed a new group of people moving into the house next door to me, but I soon regretted their presence. They were members of a band with amps and a microphone, and practiced everyday on their screened porch that faced my living room. I felt surrounded by chaos every time deafening sounds filled my head and scrambled my nerves, my floors vibrated, and my poor dog crouched shaking on the sofa. Finally, after visits by the police, they moved out.

Chaotic situations are okay as long as they don’t last too long. But what happens when they last for days, months, even years, with no end in sight? We think, there’s no way out, I can’t deal with this anymore, I feel like just giving up. But giving up means you think the chaotic situation has tremendous power over you, and you’re done. However, each of us is blessed with everything we need to survive and thrive. And you have more strength within than you imagine, and there’s more you can do.“If plan ‘A’ fails, remember there are 25 more letters.” ~Unknown

There are2 ways to deal with a chaotic situation. Either resolve it or accept it.First write down and clarify outer areas of chaos, and work with others to create a less chaotic world. Fill your surroundings with people, places, and things that bring joy and order in your life, and learn to tune out what you don’t want to see or hear. Do what you can, and include ways to distance yourself from the chaos.

When you’ve tried everything to resolve it, and it’s still there, accepting it means making peace with it, letting go of the way you feel about it and the way you respond to it. Write down and clarify your opinions and feelings. Then practice “inner work” to create “inner peace.” Talk about the situation with denials and affirmations; “I deny you have any power over me, and I affirm peace in my heart as I release any painful response or feelings about it.” Repeat every time the challenge comes to mind. And be patient. In time, you can replace the chaos with peace.

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron

Find a place of your own where you can pray, meditate, whatever you want, and remember who andwhat you are. And allow your chaotic situations to show you what you need to know. You are important as your life does have meaning. So don’t let anyone or anything turn your head or heart from that truth.

Since Spring is in the air? I felt this new post just might come in handy for those who are in relationships and what life might bring. Sometimes “LOVE BLOOMS” in the springtime and sometimes it ends. Here is some advice and “wisdom” either way . . . Happy Spring Everyone!

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As we move through life, we go through a multitude of experiences…some filled with happiness, and some painful to the bone. And we each have our own unique bundle we call our life. No two are alike, and we interpret and respond in different ways. So we may have different notions about break ups and letting go.

To break up means to release, detach, undo, be over with, let go, come to an end, etc. We usually interpret a break up as with that special someone in our life. But it can apply to any person, a situation, or even a place–a friend, family, an organization, the place where you live. Some are initiated by you, while others are beyond your control. And while some have happy outcomes, others may mean letting go of someone or something you’re attached to, and that can be painful, depending upon your response to letting go.

“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” ~James Baldwin Every break up means facing change and making adjustments, but sometimes letting go is too hard to face, especially one you never imagined could happen. I was 6 years old when my father died, and I was devastated. Now I’m old, and during all those years I refused to let him go. I felt an empty, lonely place inside, and could never face his leaving. Then last year, I went to an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Provider who helped me finally release him. I will always miss him, but now I’m at peace accepting his leaving me when he had to.

Then I remember when I received the final papers on my divorce. I thought I’d be happy, but I sank down on the floor in the hallway, leaned against the wall, and cried buckets. It was what I wanted. I had initiated it. But I felt a deep sense of loss and failure. It seemed so sad for a family to break up, and it was difficult facing a new life.

“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: “It might have been.” ~John Greenleaf Whittier

Do you ever look back at some of your break ups and wonder what might have been if they had not happened? Did you lose a loved one? Did a love affair come to an end? A friend you had to leavebehind when you moved away? That job you left for one that looked better, but wasn’t? Your dream of traveling in Europe went out the window when you got married? Or you dissolved your relationship with a family member? All sad break ups, but part of living your life. Can’t relate? Think of a painful break up in your past, and remember the feelings you had, maybe still have, about it.

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“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. ~Victor Hugo

Yes, the sun can rise again in spite of our pain. And one way to let the sunshine in is to also remember those happy break ups…the ones we allow to get lost amid the pain. Do you remember how you felt when school was out and you said goodbye forever to the 4th grade? When your loud neighbor finally left town? When you located your lost check and got rid of that obnoxious bill collector? Happy break ups, part of life. So how do you keep what you want and release what you don’t want?

“Never lose hope, my dear heart. Miracles dwell in the invisible.” ~RumiFirst decide the kind of life you want and make a firm commitment to that life. Include inner love, peace, joy, contentment, health, etc, and what you want outside of yourself.

Nowmake a firm commitment to break up with anything you don’t want in your life…inside and outside of yourself. You’re going to let it go.

Each day affirmwith conviction who and what you are…a beautiful creation with the ability to have, be, and do whatever you want to accomplish in your life.

As you practice each day, use healing modalities such as affirmations, music, nature, yoga, meditation. And explore EFT. I really works. Since any kind of healing process can be lonely, seek understanding and support from others. And give them your love.

I wish you freedom to be who you are.

Marilyn Fowler, Author & Writer of “Silent Echoes.”

(Click to buy on Amazon)

My New Book Below ~ Click book to buy

Me and Granmama in the Hill Country…

Seven-year-old Marilee and her younger siblings, Bo and Janie, sit waiting on the front steps of their house wondering if their mama will ever come back. Just as the abandoned Marilee gives up, she sees Granmama running up the road, coming to their rescue. This begins the adventures and misadventures of learning to grow up on a farm in the hill country.

Marilee narrates her story many years later with memories of happy times when they laughed over berry pancakes drenched in syrup from Mr. Lewis’ bee farm, or listened to Granpapa’s funny stories, or reminiscing about the secret hidden in her prom dress. She remembers chasing renegade chickens all over her grandparents’ massive property, and how she snickered at what she heard on Granmama’s sewing days. She relived the sad times when the family cried together and clung to each other through each painful challenge. All those times made up a life, a life Marilee holds deep in her heart forever.

This is a story spanning the Great Depression years, two wars that changed their little town, and the years beyond. Each chapter is a new adventure for this resilient family. Characters are unique in their own way, but with a connection that bonds them together with a strength that can’t be broken, while their southern dialect reflects a heritage grown deep in generations before them. This is Marilee’s story. One to be remembered always.

“There is more to us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less.” ~ Kurt Hahn

Have you ever watched children at play? Oftentimes they’re someplace in their own little world of imagined adventures. They drift in and out as freely as a leaf in the wind or ocean waves leaping in the sea. Their minds are open, and their experiences are endless in a theta state of awareness. It’s a state of consciousness we all experience when we give up some of our busy doings and relax enough to hear.

Our brain functions in several states of awareness composed of brain waves. Electrical activity in the brain generatesfour basic categories of brain waves with specific states of consciousness–beta,alpha, theta, and delta–from very alert to deep sleep. In general terms, beta is when you’re awake and alert; alpha is a frequency range between beta and theta and promotes relaxation and drowsiness; theta is a state of actual sleep and dreaming, but also light sleep and daydreaming; and delta is deep, dreamless sleep promoting healing and regeneration. What a wonder our mind is.

Theta, in a barely conscious semi-hypnotic state, can access our subconscious and experience free flowing ideas that increase insight, intuition, and creative thinking, and discharge old or new unresolved emotions. Alpha and theta can occur during meditation, but can occur any time. It’s what happens when tasks are automatic, like driving a familiar route, then drift into daydreaming, and miss your familiar turn off, or on the other hand, remember your third grade teacher’s name. This is a valuable tool when used wisely.

Every now and then I get spontaneous messages when I first wake in the morning. At first I thought I could remember the messages, but when totally awake I forgot them. So now I quickly write themdown. Some pertain to my spiritual growth, some to my writing, and some are random. I’d like to share a few with you as they came to me.

“Hold the vision. Trust the process.” ~ Author Unknown

Messages pertaining to my spiritual growth are on a bulletin board next to my computer. They’re usually very short, but powerful, like the ones that say, “God restores…with mercy,” or “Look to the light. The light is your way to freedom.” One time I spent several days trying to solve a problem. Then, while standing on a porch just watching clouds move across the sky, I heard, “Leave the orchestration to God. He knows the music.” What a great reminder.

When I’m writing and get stuck, I go outside to my swing on the patio. There I whistle with the birds and relax, and suddenly the very idea, phrase, or whatever I was reaching for comes to me clearly. And my writing flows again. One morning when barely awake, I heard a woman’s voice in southern dialect telling about her life in the hills with her Granmama. I was absolutely astounded with this unfamiliar scenario out of nowhere. But I had fun creating a life for this family in my book, “Me And Granmama In The Hill Country.”

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” ~Ram Dass

I believe most of us, if not all, have had theta experiences. But how much richer our world would be if we created time to explore this part of who we are. When you first wake in the morning, do you jump right up and get going? Do you keep your mind active with all of those important issues you can’t live without? Do you interpret intuition and daydreaming as wasteful time? Instead of pushing your brain to move, slow down and allow it to flow with messages to enhance your life. “When you tap into your own magnificence, align with the Divine, and get in perpetual flow with the Universe, miracles happen.” ~Debbie Takara Shelor Spend quiet time each day and allow your body to relax and your mind to clear. Meditation is a great help. And lay quietly just after waking and before sleep. Don’t think…don’t anticipate…don’t encourage anything to happen. Simply let go and be! Messages I’ve received were never of my bidding. They just happened. And I welcomed them. I think the secret is in learning to assume areceptive vibration, and when you need something your mind will respond. Take the time and welcome your miracles.

“Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.” Author Unknown . . .

During this holiday season, we think about what we can buy for someone that will make them smile and brighten their life. It’s a beautiful thought and worthy of your time and effort. But have you ever thought of the gift that is within you? The gift that is manifested from your thoughts, intentions, and gestures. Might this be the greatest gift you can give?

There are all kinds of gifts. Some people are fixers, some are good listeners, some are good leaders, some are gifted with empathy and compassion. I had a neighbor who repaired children’s bicycles so they could ride again. Another shared her homemade cookies with children. And I know a woman who is wheelchair bound with MS, and she waves at everyone, even strangers. I’ve seen her change gloomy faces to happy ones with her smiles. Now those are gifts from the heart.The greatest gift is a portion of thyself. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gifts are something we feel inside, and they express with love through us. There is no one else like you, and what you have to give is uniquely your own. What is your gift, and how can you use it to bring joy to another? Look inside and ask your inner Voice to show you what you’ve been given and to guide you in using it. Gifts are meant to be shared, and when you share it, it not only brings joy to someone else, you feel that joy too. Life without gifts would feel empty. Find your gift, and let your life express it with the fullness of love. You’re more beautiful than you know, And your light can shine through your gifts.

My gift is writing. I love to write books, short stories, and poems for others to enjoy, and sometimes for insights they may need. There’s a teller at my bank who loves animals, and today I took her a short story I wrote about a dog. When I saw the smile on her face, we both received a blessing.
.http://www.amazon.com/Granmama-Hill-Country-Marilyn-Fowler/dp/1505288134/

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Today I’d like to share a description of my new book, Me and Granmama in the Hill Country, just out on Amazon in kindle and paper back.

“Seven-year-old Marilee and her younger siblings, Bo and Janie, sit waiting on the front steps of their house wondering if their mama will ever come back. Just as the abandoned Marilee gives up, she sees Granmama running up the road, coming to their rescue. This begins the adventures and misadventures of learning to grow up on a farm in the hill country. Marilee narrates her story many years later with memories of happy times when they laughed over berry pancakes drenched in syrup from Mr. Lewis’ bee farm, or listened to Granpapa’s funny stories, or reminiscing about the secret hidden in her prom dress”.

“She remembers chasing renegade chickens all over her grandparents’ massive property, and how she snickered at what she heard on Granmama’s sewing days. She relives the sad times when the family cried together and clung to each other through each painful challenge. All those times made up a life, a life Marilee holds deep in her heart forever. This is a story spanning the Great Depression years, two wars that changed their little town, and the years beyond. Each chapter is a new adventure for this resilient family. Characters are unique in their own way, but with a connection that bonds them together with a strength that can’t be broken, while their southern dialect reflects a heritage grown deep in generations before them.” This is Marilee’s story. One to be remembered always . . .

And my new book would make a great holiday gift for the reader in your life!