Have you ever had a family member tell you to stop asking questions during your family research? One day while interviewing an aunt, her daughter-in-law, whom I had not asked any questions, told me to "leave it alone." She asked why was I "digging up old stuff," then told me to "just leave it alone."

If there is something in your family history that you want to hide, telling a researcher to "leave it alone" will almost certainly cause them to dig harder and deeper. I know it did for me.

How do you handle stonewalling relatives who are ashamed of their lineage? Do you honor their request to "leave it alone" or do you dig deeper?