the SHAW Blog

Have one or two difficult people in your life? You aren’t alone. What may stump you, though, is how best to approach them? According to a recent article in spiritualityhealth.com, there are 5 ways to better communicate with these individuals:

Use compassion. These difficult people are acting out for some reason or another. Maybe they just need to be heard. Compassion is a great place to start when trying to spark up a conversation that might be healing for both you and your foe.

Use the statement: “I should probably let you know…” This statement is perfect not only for those who prefer to avoid conflict, but also those wanting to set clear boundaries. Example: “I should probably let you know I don’t work past 4 on Mondays.”

Repeat their words back to them. Sometimes we say things out of frustration and hearing those words being repeated back to us can make us recant them. Hopefully from there, the conversation can change course for the better.

Hold your tongue. What’s even better? Holding your tongue and practicing a breathing exercise at the same time.

Last, but certainly not least, limit your exposure to this person. If conflict is a constant with this individual, then it might be necessary to end the relationship.

Are you challenged by communicating with difficult people? Let our experts at SHAW Center for Healing help you along your path toward healing and better communication.

Here’s the situation. Your partner, who is obviously agitated, gets home from work. You sit down with them so they can start venting to you about what has gotten them all worked up. You think you are offering supportive comments, but they are actually getting angrier. Have you been in this situation? I surely have.

According to spiritualityhealth.com, Jennifer Priem, Ph.D. has the answers we need to hear. She studies relationships, and specifically, the conversations that occur in them. In her studies, she measures cortisol levels, the stress hormone. With this research, she has devised a list of 5 ways we can become better listeners:

Be very clear with your comments. People don’t always interpret things well when they are stressed out or worked up.

Give nonverbal cues that you are listening along. Nods work here.

Acknowledge your partner's or partners' stressors or worries. Telling them “it’s nothing to worry about” won’t get you far.

Only provide validation ("What I'm hearing you say is that you had a rough day at work."). People under stress aren’t ready for solutions yet, so keep your opinions to yourself for now.

Know when to change course. If the previous 4 suggestions aren’t working, then maybe it's time for your partner(s) to take a walk or try something other then venting.

Our experts at SHAW Center for Healing are dedicated to helping you along your journey toward a healthier relationship. Contact us today for a free consultation.

According to an article in psychologytoday.com, meditation is as old as civilization itself. Dr. Herbert Benson of Harvard Medical School found that meditation had many beneficial effects. Such effects include a decrease in blood pressure and reducing migraines. In Benson’s study, subjects were found to have decreased blood lactate levels and their brains moved into an alpha state, a sign of relaxation. Benson also found that meditation was helpful in decreasing anxiety, obsessive thinking, and depression.

In another study, deemed the “Set Point Study”, scientist found that we have a set -oint for both good and bad emotions. Those who are generally happy use their frontal lobe more, while those with bad emotions typically use the right side of their brain.

The good news?

Meditation can reset your set-point and increase happiness. This was seen in participants who were paralyzed. They started off in depression, but with the help of meditation, they were able to reset their set-point and return to a happier state of mind.

In addition to these studies, researchers using MRI’s found that those who meditate retain more grey matter in their brains versus those who do not. Those who meditate also had thicker tissue in the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for attention and control.