Why bother with New Year’s resolution?

It’s that time of the year again; have a few drinks and talk about what you’re going to change. Before you get started, how about looking back to last year’s resolutions—by the way, how are they working for you?

It’s likely that your resolutions include giving up smoking, losing weight and working out. None of these are really that exciting and are probably on the list because of desperation. If your cardiologist says you’ll have a heart attack unless you stop eating that stuff, you’re likely to stop.

Why, because the stakes are higher and your unconscious is scared enough to want to make a change.

It’s hard to do these things because we really don’t want to do them. Consciously, we may say we want to make these changes but unconsciously who knows what we believe. Most people don’t acknowledge they have an unconscious much less know what it believes.

How many people ponder their motives, values or feelings?

This is dangerous ground with most people professing ‘the devil made me do it’ or my nasty boyfriend. If changing was as easy as wanting it to happen, then there would be a lot more successful people in the world. It doesn’t happen because Dorothy clicked her heels together.

As you consider what you want to change, contemplate why you want it. Eating is so satisfying why anyone would want to lose weight? Is there anything more satisfying than a plate of pasta?

Not in my world.

Eating reminds me of family, being surrounded by my cousins and favorite aunts. Not eating reminds me of being isolated. If this conjures up the same images for you, then you know what I mean. If change is to occur, there has to be a bigger prize at the end. You probably have a procrastinator friend who could never finish college to obtain his degree. He knows finishing would get him a better job but still doesn’t do it. Maybe unconsciously he believed that a college degree would bring him more responsibility that he didn’t want.

Instead of making the resolutions; how about a resolution to resolve what’s important in your world and act on it?

What about your motives?

If being healthy is on the top of your list, then look at what it would take. If you’ve been resolving to do it for the past few years, and it hasn’t worked, determine why.

A friend of mine told me his new romantic interest thought he should ‘clean up his act a little’. What she meant was he should pay more attention to his dress and lose a little weight. He admitted he was certainly over weight, and looked like a throwback to the 60s but six months into his relationship fantasy, he hadn’t made any changes. (Despite the fact, he thought the changes would be good for him.) His reason; he thought if he cleaned up his act, he would look like everyone else. To him, being different was the most important thing in the world.

Obviously more important than getting the girl.

Consider professional athletes; don’t need to be told to practice. They do the work because the payoff is enough to overlook the boredom of practice. Without it, they know the payoff is gone.

What about you? What are you really going for?

Lisbeth helps business build loyal relationships with their customers through communication and customer service training. She can be reached at redhotcustomerservice@nycap.rr.com.