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Friday, September 30, 2011

Last night I attended my very first poz mixer here in NYC. Hosted by this impressively sweet and gentle guy (Josh W.), I could not be more grateful that I stumbled upon this much needed weekly event. I want to thank Josh W. for making this event possible - it helps me (and others living with HIV/AIDS) to know that I am not alone.

Thanks to Gary for being the first to say hi! I am excited about having made some awesome friends last night!

My suggestion to anyone who feels like they are alone, find an event, a group. . . something that has common ground with any issues you might be struggling with today, and just go! It is sooooo worth it to get out there and build a support group.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A week ago, I was approached by this amazing site (and team of bloggers), PositiveLite.com, asking if I would interview and share the details of what happened to me back in 2002 and how I am living with HIV today.

I admit, I was nervous doing the interview, and now I am even more nervous this morning! I was thinking to myself, Oh man, will people run away from me now because I have disclosed such personal information, or will this article draw people closer to me and provide a message of hope? I certainly hope it is the latter!

I am asking all of my readers and followers, please check out the interview (CLICK HERE), and please share my story via your twitter and facebook accounts. I have laid it all out on the table and asking you to help support me by getting my message out there!

I am standing tall today, and hope you will stand tall with me.

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively! Thank you for reading and following my blog!

Big hugs,
Daniel

P.S. Thank you to Bob, Brian and the PositiveLite.com Team for sharing my story. I am eternally grateful.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I attended (last night) my very first Town Hall meeting on HIV/AIDS (presented by Dionne Warwick) with an esteemed panel including Actress Sheryl Lee Ralph and Emmy Award Winning AIDS Activist Rae Lewis-Thorton.

I have never been so inspired about my courage to fully disclose what has happened in my life. Rae, Sheryl and Dionne had me in tears of joy. Their dedication to creating a new, bold conversation to educate EVERYONE about HIV/AIDS and the importance of getting tested no matter who you are was emotionally infectious!

What impacted me the most were the variety of questions attendees asked the panel in search for a greater understanding of how HIV/AIDS is affecting our local communities. Questions asked focused on stigma, prevention, cures and much more. I learned a lot. Living with HIV/AIDS, I certainly do not have all the answers and I now know I need to attend a lot more of these types of events and would encourage my friends and anyone reading this, if there is an opportunity to attend a workshop, discussion forum or meeting to get better educated about HIV/AIDS, then go do it!

Now, this one guy, as the mic gets to his lips, (I could tell he was hot on his feet to get answers), asked the following question, "What is your view on Gay Marriage?" The reaction from the crowd and the expressions on the panelists' faces. . . PRICELESS! What the HELL does Gay Marriage have to do with prevention and education of HIV/AIDS??!! Seriously, how more stigmatized does this disease have to become? HIV is NOT A GAY DISEASE! HIV is an equal opportunity disease. Anyone at any age, any race, any sexual orientation is at risk. This is why it is vitally important for our nation - you the reader, your friends . . . everyone around us to become better educated.

I want to give Sheryl Lee Ralph a HUGE shout-out for standing up for the gay community and putting this DUMB-ASS in his place! The "H" in HIV is for HUMAN . . . NOT GAY!

Please friends, help to break down the barriers, educate your friends and get tested no matter who you are. Know your status!

I am Daniel, and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog!

Monday, September 26, 2011

The alarm rang at six this morning, I slowly got out of bed,
put a pair of boxer briefs on and made my way into the kitchen to put a pot of coffee
on. While waiting for the morning energy mud to brew, I head into my living
room, start up Pandora, (Annie Lennox station
is my favorite!) and I look into this big mirror hanging on the wall above the
fireplace, and think to myself – ugh, I
really don’t like what I see. I
quickly fix my bed-head, flex a little and almost see myself begin to smile,
but quickly sigh.

Before I was diagnosed with HIV, it was easy for me to
feel good about what I looked like. . .
posing for the cameras, people telling me all the time I am sexy and in
general believing that I am just as beautiful on the inside as I am on the
outside.

Today is a different story. I have good days and not so good days when I look
into the mirror. I feel like I am chasing after this “outer vanity” that
society says one must possess to be considered successful or to even get noticed,
and if I don’t possess ‘it’, I feel like I am shunned, tossed into a corner where no one will ever recognize me. Shallow right??

So I flex a little more, trying out a few more sexy poses,
sucking in my cheeks – giving the model pose all I got to try and feel a little
better about myself. Shallow again
right??

I am stuck on the idea that if I don’t look good on the
outside, how can I feel good on the inside?
It’s a struggle, sometimes, getting comfortable in my own skin.

I practice self-affirmations to build my inner self-esteem, trying
my best to ignore the idea that everyone is always staring at me – because they
see the HIV, as do I, sometimes believing that I am ugly.

I know that it is the reflect-shine that must come from
within to continue to believe in myself and that it is not the vanity that is important for me to succeed and be accepted. Easier said than done sometimes, I suppose.

Is anyone else struggling with this “vanity” addiction? Any words of encouragement? Am I alone in my
thoughts?

I am Daniel, and I am living pozitively. Thank you for
following my blog.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Just before I was rushed to the hospital on June 7, 2011, some of you may know (and if you don't), I was working with a global education company as a consultant and helped to organize a games-based mathematics learning arcade for youth in NYC at the World Science Festival.

My friend (RS), shared a link with me about an article that talks about Online Youth Gamers who have cracked an AIDS Enzyme Puzzle! How frick'n cool is that?!!

I am a huge fan of games-based learning in the classroom and think more teachers should be tuning into this kind of learning in the classroom.

While my life is now taking a very different direction with activism and public speaking, the company I worked for offers one of the most incredible online games-based learning environments for mathematics (and it's FREE). If you are a teacher - which I know many of my followers are, and would like to know more information about this awesome Mathematics program, send me an email and I will be happy to send you a link to the site. (I am not mentioning the site here, in fear of publicly associating my HIV status with their company).

Education is the key. . . and this type of news really gets my blood pumping in excitement! Please share this article with your friends, teachers and other educators! Games-based learning rocks - and it's doing good for people living with HIV/AIDS.

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Curiosity about what the protocol is, when dialed into the "Digital Age of Dating" (D-A-D), and a profile question asks to list your "status" (when you know you are poz or don't know) do you select (1) Positive (2) Don't Know (3) Negative (4) Leave Blank? I have friends who are poz, who select "negative" because of fear they will never meet anyone. Is this being honest. . . shouldn't you leave the question blank so you are not misleading. . .? Should you be honest, or do you lie in fear of being "labelled" as not-dateable before a conversation even starts. . .

Friday, September 16, 2011

So I am working on a new public speaking program. . . and well simply put I need your help! I am curious what you think about the concept above. . . is this catchy - what comes to mind immediately when you see this??

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog - and commenting on the above.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A friend of mine the other day who recently learned he is HIV + asked me, "when is it the 'right' time to disclose HIV status to others.?" Here is what I had to say. . .

I don't think there is ever a 'right' time. . . though I think there are moral obligations in certain situations where you should (have to) be honest about your status. I would very much appreciate if my readers would comment on this, and help provide some additional insight to my friend. . .

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Running around to meetings and so forth, I couldn't stop to notice every second of today all this anxiety that is churning inside my gut because I go to the doctors tomorrow to get blood results which may show that my body is resistant to the current HIV medication for which I have been prescribed.

For those of you not familiar with HIV medications or the terms used, here is a little bit about my prescribed medication with inclusive links to help educate you.

Currently, I take 2 antiretroviral drugs everyday. I take 3 pills (1 Truvada, 2 Kaletra) in the a.m. and 2 pills (Kaletra) in the p.m (a total of 5 pills), as well as a myriad of other pills to prevent pneumonia and other complications. I have been on this medication since about June 11, and the initial side effects (which lasted about two weeks) were horrid including vomiting and diarrhea.

My viral load continues to be detectable after several blood work tests, so I recently had a resistance test, which will tell me if the medications are working or tell me if I have to start new medication. Keep your fingers crossed, because I can't imagine that starting a new medication combination (which is referred to as a cocktail) is going to be any more fun than the last.

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Some people and friends are still asking me why I am doing this blog. . . why it is so important to me.

I believe now would be the appropriate time to share with you all what happened back in 2002, when I learned I was HIV positive and how [in the] blink of an eye, I went from being someone. . . to becoming a society labelled liability.

My early days, many of you may recall or remember me as the successor to the legendary Harry Houdini, today I am back on stage as HoudinII . . . and you can follow my tours and shows at my official website.

Below is my story which I will continue to share in the fight to educate others about the myths associated with living with HIV/AIDS. Whether straight, gay, bi-sexual, or transgender - HIV/AIDS stigma still exists. . . and simply put - it sucks!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

On 9.11.2001, I was in bed in my NYC flat on 24th and 6th. Every time this date comes around my body and my mind flashback. . . many of the feelings and memories so scary that I want to put them back in a box and never remember again.

This past Friday (9.9.11) at 7 p.m., I took the Staten Island Ferry into Manhattan because I wanted to get a close-up view of all that was rising around Battery Park and World Trade Center. . . to hold onto "strength" and "courage" that are the backbone of everything I do today.

While on the Ferry, I see these flashing lights. . . out on the water. . . a Coast Guard, gun-ready escort was along side. My body and mind started going into panic and my friend, who was with me, asked if I wanted to turn around and go back home.

I am really proud of myself that I did not let my inner-panic take hold of me, and continued to use the strength to stand tall, and take a walk of remembrance up to the Freedom Tower. . . the things I witnessed. . . the rebuilding of what was once beaten down. . . gives me strength to find the power to keep fighting no matter the cause. . . below are pictures and videos of the things I saw. I will never forget those whom are now only with me (us) in spirit, who lost their lives on this day. My heart goes out to the men and women of our armed forces, first responders, and those who lost someone dear to them. We are prevailing! United we stand!

Statue of Liberty

NYC Skyline - Heading into Manhattan

Remembrance Field of Honor Flags

The Honor Flags

Walking up to the Freedom Tower

Honor Flags (at night fall) on the walk back to the Ferry

Video of the Fountain in Battery Park (where the Honor Flags wave in Glory)

Freedom Tower from the Ferry. . . . at night fall

I am Daniel Bauer, and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog.

dbcool7310:01 amI don't get it - HIV and the stigmas associated with cancer are dynamically different.

A_Friend10:01 amwanna know?

dbcool7310:01 amyeah of course.cause it makes no sense to me.

A_Friend10:01 amthe year 2001 i dated w jason who is hiv poz

A_Friend10:01 amhe told me he was poz 3 weeks after we started dating

dbcool7310:01 amcan we talk about this on skype please

A_Friend10:02 ami freaked outnowe did not have anal sex yetafter he told me we did safe sex thoughi was still nervous having sex w himthen i talked to my one my great friend i asked him if i should continue dating yet or notdue to his diseasehe said would u date him if he had cancer