Most Popular Posts

Do you pee in front of your significant other?

Ok, we've talked about enough intimatestuff on Cup of Jo that I think I'll just go for it today and ask the big question: Do you pee in front of your significant other? My answer...
...is no way.

My friends tease me for being crazy because I don't let Alex (and haven't let any past boyfriend) come near the bathroom when I pee. Since our apartment is small, I even run the faucet so he won't hear anything. (And we've been married for almost three years!) The few times I've been in the bathroom when Alex pees, I have gotten the giggles like a five year old. So immature!

But, seriously, I once read a quote in Oprah Magazine that said something like, "You wake up one day, and you look at your spouse and realize you're relatives." That stuck with me. Can't you imagine growing so familiar that you feel more like comfy relatives than romantic partners? Don't you need a bit of separation and mystery to keep the sparks alive? Alex hopefully figures that I only use the bathroom to brush my teeth and apply lip salve. :)

One exception: When I was pregnant, I started peeing in front of Alex (simply because I peed all the time). And he started peeing in front of me. And it was fine. But after a while, I was like, this has got to stop! Now, if one of us forgets and leaves the door open, the other jokingly shouts, "Relatives!"

I like having some separation in our marriage so that we still feel like two separate people. But maybe I should be more laid-back and just keep the door open? There's something sexy about that, too--just being super open and natural with your body.

So, tell me, do you pee in front of your partner or keep the door closed? Haha, I'm curious! (Update: I'm getting this app!)To pee or not to pee? That is the question.

490 comments:

so before this was a big "no no" in our apartment. but it's gotten to the point that sometimes it has to be done. 1) i have a small bladder and 2) we've compromised the peeing in front of each other for no farting. and i would MUCH rather have the no farting. xx jes, www.twosmuppies.com

no!! i used to worry about moving in with him because i didn't know when i'd ever be able to poop, hahaha. i'm now at the point where i'm able to do it when he's home (and he knows what i'm doing in there) but i don't think i ever want to get to the point where we don't close the door (for #1 or #2). i'd like to keep a little mystery at least! :)

so funny- this has been our recent topic of conversation lately. We've made the decision to NOT pee in front of each other in order to preserve a bit of "spark". After four years of marriage, we were becoming a little too comfortable with each other, haha. It definitely works.

No way! I am totally with you and used to run the faucet too. We've been married six years, so obviously he knows I've gone to the bathroom in six years but I don't think he needs to see or hear it. It can get tricky sometimes - we live in a 2 bdrm 1 bath home and sometimes it seems like he's in the shower forever. It's like I only have to pee once he starts the shower!

I NEVER peed in front of any of my boyfriends. Ever. Some of them peed in front of me, and it didn't bother me. Still doesn't. But I can't do it. There's a mental block or something. I have to sit there, and go, then WIPE? That's what it is. It's the WIPE. I can't WIPE in front of someone I want to think I'm sexy!

No way! I just read an article about leaving gas in front of your partner and that I'll do. But the bathroom is sacred space. If I've accidentally left the door open and he comes down the stairs I SHOUT that he must stop moving, close his eyes, etc.

there's something so sexy about being a free spirit inside and outside of the bathroom, but I never could get myself to pee in front my ex when we were dating. I have a hard time brushing my teeth in front of people, I think there are somethings you have to keep in order to keep the spark alive.

That is CRAZY that you don't pee in front of you husband to me!! I started peeing in front of him the minute we started getting naked with eachother. Have with all my boyfriends. I also pee in front my sister and pretty much all of my close girlfriends. We all do. Now that I say that out loud, is that weird?

I agree about keeping some things private, so it's probably for the better what you do, but you don't have to run the water! It just seems so natural to me to pee with the door open, takes like 15 seconds. Maybe I camp too much?!?

I'm not sure what I'll do once married to and live with my fiance. Right now, I am the faucet-running type if he's near enough to hear. But I've heard him go, and somehow it makes me feel closer to him. That sounds weirdly gross, but it's something about the comfort level of experiencing even the most basic and private of things together. I may ask him what he prefers . . I'm guessing he'll say run that faucet. I admit it would keep things more mysterious. . . On that note, it was oddly our first bathroom conversation that made me know I would marry him one day. The sweetness of a new comfort level. :)

I've been living with my husband for nearly 4 years and yes, we pee in front of each other. We have a silent agreement on the subject: it's ok to leave the door open, unless some peace and quiet is needed.

I have two kids (1 and 4yrs old) and they keep entering and exiting every room we are in. So, unless we really need to be left alone for a little while, we do leave all doors open.

I don't think that this has any kind of negative influence on our relationship. We are passionate about each other and we are intimate, just like any other couple. But our home is our territory and this works both ways: I need to feel at home and so does he...

Absolutely I do. I generally don't like doing any kind of grooming or bodily functions in front of my husband, but peeing is just peeing. We both pee in front of each other all the time. No need to close to bathroom door when it's just the two of us. That's just a comfort of being married. I don't think it's taken the spark out of our marriage...it just is what is is...we live together. I don't get to primp for hours and show up looking like I stepped out of a magazine like when we were dating. He gets to see me in my element...make-up less, unshowered, whatever. We're family and lovers.

My partner and I both do! We've been together for three years. I'm surprised so many people said no, but I would guess that's just your reading demographic, not reflective of most people. I know so many friends who do! It's just natural and a part of life. Plus, with girls, it's not like you actually see the pee so I think it's less weird for men to get used to the idea of a woman peeing with the door open.

Reminds me of that scene in Eyes Wide Shut. And another one from a movie with Matthew Perry.Yes, a very interesting comment Chloé!Well, that was just to say that I remember those scenes because the woman was peeing in front of her partner and it surprised me at first and then made me re-think it, just like you :)Thank you for sharing all this with us!

We've been married for 9 years and peeing with the door open for 8 years and 364 days. We draw the line at #2 and always close the door for that. We're definitely still sexually attracted.Peeing or passing gas hasn't diminished that. I love that we can be totally comfortable with one another.

My Husband runs the faucet no matter what. I run the fan-but we leave the door open, which is funny. If it's a matter other than peeing, well, door is always closed.I think there is a comfortability that we enjoy about being "able" to be in the same room while the other is using the toilet- but it's not necessarily something we do regularly. :)

Hell yeah I pee in front of my husband…and my house has 6 toilets. Since having a kid, I've gotten in the habit of also peeing with the door open…which I've almost done several times when we've had guests. Oops.

My husband was there when I gave birth and he saw everything imaginable come out of my body, so peeing is really small potatoes.

this is a great topic! i'm a really open person and do use the facilities in front of my husband if i need to, but the weird thing is that there is no way i'd ever fart in front of him. we've been together for 7 years.

No no no. Talking about your bodily functions (which you should) and SHOWING each other your bodily functions should be two separate things. You're entitled to time for yourself as a mother, as a person... if you feel open to sharing it, great, good for you, but partners do need to have SOME boundaries. I personally could not pee in front of them if I didn't have to because it's just something that I consider to be personal, that I don't particularly want to share.

Door closed! There's just no reason to be doing that in front of others. You don't become more "comfortable" or "share more intimacy" with each other by peeing in front of them, that's just ridiculous. There's a reason there's a door to the bathroom.

I always shut the door. (My husband even LOCKS the door, but I think that is just habit. I used to be in that habit and I had a boyfriend who would get seriously angry when I locked the door.) However, I am comfortable peeing in front of him (but certainly NO "number 2"!!!) If the need arises (odd hotel layouts, or some sort of reason for sharing the bathroom at the same time) I am okay with that... more okay than he is, I think.

I hadn't really thought about maintaining privacy in terms of keeping a spark alive, but you're right. We both keep pretty much all of our morning and evening routines completely private, right down to brushing our teeth. (It helps that we have two bathrooms and no kids, so one bathroom is "mine" and the other is "his.")

I think it's hilarious that you will run the faucet. I think I used to do that YEARS ago, when I was first dating. I had a serious phobia and used to even stress over when I would be able to use the bathroom during the evening, and the layout of someone's apartment... how close is the bathroom to the living area/hanging out space? Now, though, I will definitely run the faucet (or flush the toilet) to hide sounds of "number 2." But, I don't care if my husband (or most people, for that matter) hear me peeing. (I think, actually, my husband and I have been married just about exactly as long as you have - we were married at the end of August 2009.)

Mollie D. I'm totally with you on this one. I have peed in front of my husband since we got married and it seems so normal. Now I'm realizing that maybe it's not the norm. Is the floor dropping out from under me?

This is such a funny topic! I have actually asked a lot of my friends the same question. One friend's husband apparently takes work conference calls with in the lou with the door open and it drives her crazy! Yikes! As for me, I like to run the water as well. It just makes me more comfortable, and I feel as if I am always surrounded by others, so a forty second privacy break doesn't seem like such a stand-offish thing for me. ;)

To add... I think I got more comfortable with the whole thing when I was in college. We had shared bathrooms with regular stalls (without walls that went down to the floor or up to the ceiling.) And, for some reason, every frat seemed to be missing doors from some bathrooms or bathroom stalls. When you're drunk and you've GOT to go, you're totally willing to just pee in a stall that doesn't have a door. If I can do that in front of classmates or strangers, I can do it in front of my husband. But, of course, better to keep it to strict necessity... WHY do it when you don't have to?

What's the "mystery"? Everyone does it, and they know what you're doing when you're in there.I think going to all the trouble to run the faucet and make sure he stays away from the bathroom is more awkward than just being comfortable just GOING. It takes 15 seconds. I really don't think peeing is that big a deal.

Too funny. Did you see the the video on breaking the barrier? You need to watch it. You will laugh your a... off. In my house, the barrier has been broken. I found it on YouTube for you, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xFaJUZRkQMGo ahead, break the barrier...Hugs, Petie

Nope, I won't do it either, but I'm glad you brought it up because I thought I was the only one! I run the tap too, by the way. I guess I just feel like it strips a little sexiness from our marriage. It's kind of like plucking your eyebrows in front of your hubby, or shaving your bikini line. Things he just doesn't need to see! On the other hand, I have no problem if he pees in front of me. Is that weird?

i'm okay with door open, but i generally won't pee with my boyfriend in the bathroom. after sex ill get on the toilet while hes in the bathroom washing his hands or whatever, but i wait to pee until he leaves. this is way too TMI but whatever.

i'm all for people keeping the mystery alive, but faucet runners might want to think about our precious water resources! remember the old campaign about not running the sink while you brush your teeth? same idea! we're running out of water a lot faster than other important resources.

On the flip side, I have always used the bathroom in front of my daughter. She's 25 months and has been out of diapers all day long for 3 months now. Just something to think about as you're reaching that stage in life.

No WAY will I ever pee in front of my fiance. I don't believe 'everything' should be shared with your lover. You've got to leave some mystery in your relationship! Keep the spark alive, people! Because that Oprah quote is a frightening existence.

We both rush out to work in the mornings and I just don't have time to wait for him to finish messing around in front of the mirror (he takes forever in the bathroom) so that I can have a poo in peace!

If I'm not in a hurry I'll have it in private like a normal person :o)

I have never been shy about peeing in front of people. At the bars with girlfriends, etc. I pee in front of my guy all the time. I don't just leave the door open but if he's brushing his teeth or in the shower and I have to go... then i do! I don't see it as a big deal. I feel like I'm doing much more intimate things with him than peeing. NEVER #2 though! hahaha!

Maybe I'm weird but I pee, pass gas and poo in front of my boyfriend and sometimes even my girlfriends!! I grew up being very comfortable with my body and it's only natural to eliminate my wastes. It's UNNATURAL to not pee, pass gas or poo.

Plus, it's extremely freeing to "let it all hang out". Sometimes we even have discussions with each other when one of us is doing number 2. I think it's awesome.

Also, I partake in a weekly naked sauna with about 15 other people of all ages. I think everyone should get naked in front of strangers at least once in your life.It will change your life. :)

I know that being afraid of others hearing you pee is a symptom of social anxiety. I also knew this guy (friend, not lover) who told me that he loves it when girls pee because they lift their heels up as if they were wearing high heels. He thought that was adorable.I'm a private pee-er :)

Yup, I do! Always have. And I have no problem with it. I've also peed in front of exes(and vice versa). I've never had any issue with it although my husband is ridiculously bladder shy so he gets all nervous if I'm in the bathroom or nearby and waits until I leave. Which I think is hysterical, so I make a point of jumping into the bathroom when he's peeing and just start talking because I know it drives him crazy (in a funny way). We always leave the door open, though. (Just for #1, of course)

Oh yes! Weve been married for 8 years and yes, we do it all in front of each other! There is nothing we haven't seen :) Though, I always keep it private when I've got my monthly visitor. No need to share EVERYTHING...lol!

He He:) I love this! On our wedding night the quaint bed and breakfast suite we rented had no bathroom door (much to our dismay). We had no choice! Ever since it's been door open. I'm with Heidi to, I think it confirms intimacy of daily life. We have no secrets and after 10 years together I'm really happy how close we are.

Sorry, ladies, but I don't get all this talk about "keeping the mystery." I'm pretty sure there's no mystery to what happens behind a closed bathroom door, and even if I shared it with my significant other, I doubt it would hinder our romance.

I keep the door closed, but it has nothing to do with mystery. It has to do with the fact that I don't want ANYONE around me when I'm doing my business. The very worst are the public bathrooms at the office--why would I want my colleagues to hear me do my thing, and vice versa? No thank you.

I'll use the toilet if he's in the shower, but only in emergency situations.

oh gosh, i'm for sure going to make you cringe...Ok for starter I never peed in front of a guy until I married my husband...that being said yes I pee, go #2 in front of him, I'd even put a tampon in in front of him...hahaSo I was raised with 5 younger sisters and we only had one bathroom, we had to do everything in front of each other...Maybe that Is why I have no shame.My husband on the other hand will #2 in front of me but hed prefer the privacy, but with one bathroom...kinda hard...whats worse our only bathroom is in the kitchen!

heck yes.right from the honey moon.we were both virgins, so once i decided that i would have to get over being "too" self conscious about my body [i mean, gosh, if you can have sex with someone you love and truely trust, com'mon...]we'll have our 10th anniversary next year & my hubby has commented on how wonderful it is, to him, that i am comfortable enough & trust him deep-down so that i don't feel like i have to hide something normal & natural... right from the get-go. everybody does it and you're not fooling anybody to think otherwise! ha-ha! of course i am still girlly & mysterious (most guys don't "think about it" the way we do. i was nervous but when ya gotta go, you gotta go!) you should check a few hilarious "kids" books: 'Everybody Poops' [http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/everyone-poops-taro-gomi/1101405964?r=1&ean=9780916291457&cm_mmca2=pla&cm_mmc=GooglePLA-_-Book-_-Q000000633-_-9780916291457]and 'The Gas We Pass' [http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/gas-we-pass-shinta-cho/1006992713?ean=9781929132157] Toby will like them too! even your hubby might get a kick out of them! ease you way into it. you are not doing anything "improper". {goal for today: leave the door cracked} *wink*

It took a while for us to get there but after living together in a tiny flat things change as originally I was a HELL NO kinda gal! We have an agreement peeing ok but no 2's NO NO. Plus only when necessary, i don't invite him in to watch! haha. Sometimes there have been incidents ie upset tummy on holidays where you just can't avoid the situation. But I think it also brings you closer as you learn to laugh about things that normally would be sooo embarrassing if it was anyone else.

Wow, I'm so surprised by the varied comments. Super interesting. My answer...hells yes. We both pee in front of each other every day. But I do admit that I think it's made him a little too comfortable, and he tries leaving the door open for #2 and I get really mad. Too much info? Sorry ;) haha

neither of us use the bathroom in front of the other. we even try to do #2 when neither is around. my husband & I just feel it keeps up the romance a bit... the only time I do is if he's in the shower & I have to pee REALLY REALLY bad, then I'll sneak in :)

Sure, why not!I don't go out of my way to pee in front of my partner, but sometimes if we're both getting ready in the bathroom I will. I've always found it funny when women turn the tap on while peeing. Stop wasting water and embrace your pee, ladies!!

I'm really surprised at all the commenters who turn the faucet on. It never would have occurred to me to do this! It seems like such a waste of water in order to hide something that is a natural, regular bodily function...? Close the door for privacy, but don't waste clean water!

I am a fan of a closed door policy, except in emergencies, mostly because I enjoy a little quiet alone-time in the bathroom. :)

Hate to burst your bubbles but as soon as your significant other realized you were human, he knew you peed, farted, and pooped. So to think it keeps mystery or maintains a spark is so silly, but I have to admit having them know and see it are two different thing. I'm down to pee, but anything that may cause a smell is not cute and is off limits.

it's a luxury that we have running water that comes out of the tap whenever we want...can't believe you'd waste it just to avoid some embarrassment. door open, door closed who cares...but don't waste the water!

We pee and fart in front of each other. Farts make us laugh (every time!) and pee is...just not a big deal. We close the door for poop since it's smelly, but honestly - what do I case if my husband is aware of the fact that I poop? It's not like having sex is a tidy and elegant affair either.

Honestly I think it's kind of weird that women will hold in their poop until the man is not home. like somebody before me posted, we're human beings, not mystical creatures.

wow! i'm also surprised how many people said no -- i've always done that with boyfriends/my husband, and we find it all kind of tender and intimate and have a smokin' sex life. no probs. number 2 is a different story, although he's much more open about it - one of the many things I just file under "he's european"

I'm guessing that all the 'heck no' responses are because those of us who are in the other camp are embarrassed to admit it. Our bathroom door is almost never closed. Now we have the excuse of our 6 month old daughter sitting in her exersaucer in the adjacent kitchen. I've even started announcing what I'm doing for her sake. My husband likes to point out the open windows and assures me that our neighbors are so glad I'm sharing!

Really now, it seems a bit ridiculous to shut the door AND turn the faucet on?! Wasteful even. I try to shut the door, but sometimes circumstances require the door to stay open, and that's fine. I don't even understand this "mystery" thing ... I hope it's not a mystery that I expel waste from my body, just like he does.

Number 1 no big deal but number 2 I always shut the door and make him get out. I wish he felt the same way. He has no problem leaving the door open all the time. ahhh I usually go and shut it for him :)

I don't wee in front of him if I can at all help it, but needs must - living in a one bathroom apt means that a couple of times in the past seven years it's had to happen while he's in the shower or something and I'm bursting.

But I think there's a big gap between running the faucet and weeing in front of him though... the former does seem a little uptight to me. And not pooping while he's in the house? Is this an American thing? Seems a little over the top.

Some might argue that being comfortable with your bodily habits is more erotic to a guy than being uptight about them, and there might be something to that ;)

you know, hubby and i are big campers.. so after peeing/pooping in front of him and all of the glorious nature, leaving the bathroom door open is almost a welcomed relief (: at least we get to pee in front of each other.. in LUXURY..

I love the comments almost as much as the question. Especially Ashley Ford's response about the "wipe"--hilarious! And for the record, ten years in no. Save for once when we were on a safari and stuck in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't hold it anymore and he had to be my guard!! Not making that one up. It was worth a little loss of mystery to be sure I wasn't going to be chomped by a lion.

I don't even like the word "pee" so I am a big no on this one. If it were some kind of weird emergency--we're in the woods! my leg is broken! you have to hold me up while I go!--it would be okay, but our ancestors invented bathrooms with doors for a reason.

Ha, never! There is so little privacy in the world today - I don't think it's too much to ask for a couple minutes of total privacy when using the bathroom.

Also, I think it would be great if some of the commenters would tone down the judgement level a notch. A person is not immature or belittling herself because she prefers a closed door when using the bathroom. Everybody has a different level of "openness" she's comfortable with, and there's no wrong answer here. So let's all be cool ;)

my husband and i recently had a dissagreement about this. i will pee with the door open or while he is in the shower but he hates it and refuses to pee in front of me. he was in the military for goodness sake and peed and pooped in front of like 30 guys at a time. oh well, he doesnt really judge me for leaving the door open however he will walk out of the room if he can even hear me. now, i think its pretty funny but at first it hurt my fealings (which is stupid i know).

I realls don't get why you turn on the faucet, really. Why do you use all those reuseable bags and bottles and stuff when you turn on the faucet for nothing!?!? Really ladies, that's not it! turn on the radio (or sing while you're peeing!?) and stop wasting so much DRINKING WATER.. please!

this topic is amazing! i didn't know anyone else ran the faucet! i know it's a waste of water and maybe other people are blessed not to worry about this kind of thing, but preserving that "mystery" (for serious lack of a better word) is something that makes ME feel sexy and attractive. some people wear blush, i keep the faucet on. ;)

YUP... but very rarely. if i have to go and he's in there.... i go! and it's funny because we've been together for 4 years now and i just started doing my thing in front of him about 6 months ago! i figured if i got to go... i got go! ;) lol

haha i don't mind, but HE does... well... we're not as bad as you... he's ok if i'm in there, so long as i'm just not looking. if he knows i'm looking, he will stop mid-pee (and everyone knows how hard and AWEFUL that is, right!?!?)

I grew up in a family of 5 with one bathroom until I was 10 years old. We all peed in front of each other - I mean not like blatantly, "hey, I'm peeing..."...it was not a terrible thing, we just had to share that bathroom at trafficky times.

In spite of the fact that my husband lived "off-the-grid" in the woods with hippy parents until he was 5 years old, he is super uptight about peeing in front of me. I think he just didn't have the same "open door" policy that I had growing up. He actually requested early in our relationship that we each close the door to pee. I don't oblige. If he doesn't like me peeing in front of him, he can look away :).

My fiance and I do pee in front of each other. Actually, we keep the bathroom door open at all times in our house (that only has one bathroom), except for #2. The only problem we seem to have is when we have guests...making a point to close the door can be kind of tricky.

Also, I always have to pee after hanky panky, in order to prevent UTIs...so it's just convenient.

Growing up, my family always peed with the door open. I would come in to brush my teeth while my mom was peeing, my sister would come in to do her make-up while I was peeing, my dad would stand in the doorway and talk to us while all three of us were doing various things in the bathroom. It was different when my sister and I started our periods, though, at least as far as Dad was concerned.So it's carried over into adulthood and my husband and I pee in front of each other. I make him turn away when I'm wiping, though because somehow THAT's crossing the line haha.

I live alone and I keep the door closed! I honestly have never wanted to leave the door open (just... why??) or pee in front of anyone. I think you can be completely comfortable with your partner without wanting them to get a really unflattering image of you. :)

This topic is always an interesting one. I find it funny that many women find that not peeing in front of their husband keeps the mystery alive. I can think of many other ways of keeping the mystery there. To me, peeing is just peeing. It's not a big deal if he's in the bathroom with me or not.

Open door bathroom policy in our little home, except for #2 (keep that to yourself please...and turn on the fan). We like to shower together too ("save water- shower together"). We love the freedom, coziness and intimacy. It keeps us connected and honest.

This is a riot! I've been with my partner for 11 years and we have always had an open door policy! I agree with some of the other commenters that it's no "mystery" what's going on in there... and would much rather come up with some creative ideas to keep the spark alive. I cannot imagine being shy in that way around my mate... we know each other inside and out.

This is so funny! And I can't get over how many responses already!! Well, maybe I'm too open but I have been peeing in front of my husband from the first time we got naked, haha. Although, I do remember him making a wise crack about "getting comfortable in the relationship" since we had only been going out for about a month. For #2-forget it! Door closed and I'd rather he be downstairs or faaarr away from that bathroom door. Talking outside the door while I'm going is probably the most cringe worthy thing to me, ha!

I've been married for 18 years and we do. I think it comes from being raised in a large family with limited space. If we wanted mirror time, all of us girls had to share a bathroom somehow and that usually involved lack of privacy. But we never thought anything of it. One bonus was flushing the toilet on your sister while she was in the shower. Gotta love pay backs. You better run fast when you pull one of those.

I think it's CRAZY not to pee in front of your partner. I have lived with my boyfriend for just over two years and we both began peeing in front of each other in the first two months of our relationship. #2 is a door closed ordeal, but neither of us pretend that we don't know what's going on. We're having our first baby soon and I think him seeing me give birth is going to show a heck of a lot more than sitting on a toilet for 15 seconds ever will.

What a funny question! I actually do pee in front of my husband. Sort of. I have to run the faucet and he can't look in my direction while I do. But the door is open. (tiny NYC apt=tiny bathroom=pain in the ass shutting the door for a quick purpose) One thing I absolutely NEVER do is pass gas or do n.2 in front of him. In fact, the running joke for the last 5 years with us has been that women never poop. I tell him that only baby and young girls poop and old women poop, and maybe really gross girls poop, but that's it. haha. He always gives me a sly smile when I say that, but he runs with it for me. Now he, on the other hand, will do anything in front of me. Except wipe. Every couple must draw the line at wiping.

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years, during four of which we've lived together. Almost from the very beginning we were a door open, lets sit and chat while your on the thrown type of relationship. I've seen it all, he's seen it all. No faucets running either.

This might be horrible to some of you, but in the past if we both got home from a party and were dying for a pee I will use the toilet and my husband would pee in the sink. Yeap, not the prettiest of sights, but it made us both chuckle

Re: #1 and #2, no way, I am a faucet gal all the way. Unfortunately, with the gas thing, I have learned to let loose - once, on our very first romantic weekend away together, I held the gas in so much that I had a horrible stomach ache most of the weekend. It felt like the gas rose into my brain and I was going to die of an aneurysm resulting from holding in the farts.

Wow. I am shocked at how many people don't pee in front of their significant others! Maybe it's the former camper in me, but I've peed in front of family, friends, boyfriends my entire life. And this is the first boyfriend I feel comfortable passing gas in front of and who I won't freak out if he barges in on me doing #2. I am comfortable in my own skin for the first time in a long time and it feels great!

I believe the washroom is your time to be by yourself and do whatever private things you need to do. I can never do any numbers infront of partner. Ok that`s a lie maybe I`ve peed in front of him once or twice during a very drunken night but that`s it! He will also only pee infront of me if i`m busy doing something else so I`m not staring at him. I won`t go as far as only doing number 2 when he`s gone because that`s just ridiculous, you got bodily needs don`t deny them. Just go in there and turn the fan on. He`ll sometimes walk by and I can hear him laughing and commenting to that cat that i`m doing some business in there and even that aggravates me. Its no about keeping the spark alive or having some mystery, it`s just about keeping somethings private and separate between the two of you. You cannot share every waking moment of your life with someone else. P.S i can`t even pee with the cat in the washroom with me. so maybe it`s just my thing! :)

To be honest, I don't really get how not using the bathroom in front of your significant other keeps the mystery alive. My husband knows what I'm doing in there, door open or door closed. Granted it's not a sexy thing but we do many other things to be intimate and keep it mysterious. He's seen me in much less flattering situations! And if I take a little longer, he knows why. ;)

To each their own of course, not judging at all, but I really don't get how it keeps the spark alive!

We definitely pee in front of each other without thinking about it but both like a little privacy when it comes to anything else. Like I said though, he knows what's going on in there.

I also don't really get the relatives thing. I'm much more comfortable in front of my husband than I am my relatives. I wouldn't want many people seeing me use the bathroom but because he's my husband, it doesn't bother me one bit. I don't feel closer to him because of it, it's definitely not for intimacy reasons!, but I just think that if I started to think of him as just a comfy relative, I'd probably be more embarrassed to go pee in front of him!

If it would descend into too much comfort, I totally get the not peeing in front of each other, but that has not been my experience! We are not in the bathroom together every time (and certainly not during the #2), but when we are we have made it into a sexy secret that no one else is allowed to share! It becomes silly and titillating (nothing kinky goes on, mind you!). I also sometimes follow him into the bathroom when he gets home from the day and jumps into the shower-- I am so eager to see him and catch up with the events of the day. The way to keep it sexy is to never take your partner's nudity or partial nudity for granted. Peeking naughtily into the shower curtain, silly raised eyebrows ("Oh my!"), and compliments pump each other up and keep your partner feeling special. Making a point to view your partner's everyday nudity as always a treat (even when he is just getting dressed for the day) can be a great way to keep the sparks going!

I do every now and then, but prefer to keep the door closed. I alwaaaays have to pee though, so sometimes (like if we're getting ready for bed) it happens that we both need to use the bathroom. I don't think it's a big deal, but it does make a nervous pee-er out of me!

This is hilarious! My husband and I are very free with our bodily functions. Door open, while we're brushing our teeth. I think it's a part of intimacy and marriage! We made a vow to each other so it doesn't matter if he sees me pee! :)

NO! Not ok. hahaha. Partially because I time my peeing in public restrooms to be when no one else is around. Like, leave a movie and miss 5 minutes midway so that I don't have a crowd when the film is actually over. The concept was enforced when (a now ex) boyfriend recounted a sad story of his agoraphobic ex being afraid to go to the bathroom alone (and demanding his company.) Mental illness is funny like that-- so with him I swore that would be a NO NEVER. That one thing really bugged him out, bless. lol.

My boyfran now jokes that it would be no big deal but honestly. it is. it's a big deal. hahah. He looks at me funny, though, if he sees me midway through putting on makeup, as if I've evolved into some other kind of creature. :P If he can't handle that then he is definitely going to be deprived of an open bathroom door.

This is a great thread! My husband and I dated for seven years before getting married (now married for two) and we did both number one AND number two in front of each other before we ever even had sex!

NO! Haha, I love this post, because it is always so interesting to me whether or not couples do this and why or why not. My (informal) research has led me to believe that usually one partner is against this and one is fine with it. I am against it and my boyfriend luckily respects this. Gotta keep the romance alive (almost 5 years and going strong)! :)

a big NO! and it's not even just me, he told me in the beginning that he doesn't want to see OR hear me for that matter ;-). i don't want to be a completely open book to anyone! Most Japanese women would probably also agree with you. although i think wasting water by turning the tap on is a no go...

I've been with my husband for 10 years, but just married for one. We pee in front of each other all the time!! If you can't be comfortable with your life partner than who can you be comfortable with. I live in NYC and always lived in very small apartments, till recently when we moved into a 2 bedroom, so I know of the lack of privacy. There is no way of not hearing what goes on in the bathroom and I've heard it all! My husband is still the sexiest more attractive man to me and the spark is very much still alive (even after 10 years)! Bathroom or no bathroom, we are all human and it's no big deal !

I have a VERY TINY studio apartment w/ only one bathroom and you can hear EVERYTHING!!!!! I can't pee in front of my boyfriend and if it is too quiet in the apartment then I will put the faucet on. My boyfriend thinks it's weird that I won't pee in front of him when he will pee w/ the door open. I dunno I agree w/ the mystery comments. Our significant others don't need to see EVERYTHING we do.

With only one bathroom, sometimes I just can't wait and have to pee! It doesn't happen too often, but I'm comfortable enough that it doesn't bother me too much. However, 2 weeks ago I fell and broke my wrist really badly and we had a "first" in our marriage - we were in the ER and I had to pee (before they had set my wrist) and needed him to help me unbutton my pants and steady me while I used the bathroom. Since then I've needed him to help me wash my hair, bathe, put on lotion, get dressed and cut my food into bit-size pieces. Lots of boundaries have been crossed, but I'm so glad that he is there for me and I would rather have him help me than anyone else. That being said, I'm excited for the day when I don't need him to help me anymore!

I love this post because it makes me feel less crazy. I've slowly worked my way up to peeing without the faucet running when my boyfriend is around. We've discussed my "shyness" and he thinks it's hilarious that I'm so self-conscious about it, but apparently, I'm not alone!

I pee with the door wide open with the whole world to see (well my husband and my daughter at least)! Sometimes when we have guests I get a little peeved that I have to close the door to use the bathroom.

I am fascinated by this question too! For me, NOOOOOO. I love that quote about "spouse as relative," but for the record, I don't pee in front of them either! He will pee if I'm in the shower..and on one or two occasions in a TRUE emergency (one bathroom) I will pee when he's in the shower, but thats it!

I'm not shy in front of my boyfriend of 7 years but I don't like him to hear or see my business in the bathroom either! He's not shy to pee in front of me, but I feel like it's slightly different. It's good to keep the mystery and not completely let yourself go in front of your significant other! A little mystery is always good.

Can I just say that leaving the tap running is NOT ridiculous! I absolutely do this (when family are in the house as well as my boyfriend). Perhaps I am uptight but just because everyone does it doesn't mean that we have to parade it around in everyones faces! I say keep your private business private! By the same token, I would have no interest seeing my significant other poo or pee either!! :)

I love how many people have responded! This is also a big topic for me and my girlfriends. Some of them do, but for me it`s a big no!! We did go travelling to Asia once though, and I got really sick and we had *very* small rooms. It was nice knowing he didn`t judge me, but it wasn`t something that came back home with us!!!

Definitely a "door open" household here! We're pretty comfortable with our bodily functions in this house and don't really have privacy issues. Sometimes I'll be putting on my makeup in our tiny bathroom only to look up and realize my boyfriend, our dog and our cat are all in the room as well. That's a tight squeeze... I don't think using the bathroom in front of each other affects keeping the sexiness or mystery alive in our relationship in the slightest. After all, everyone poops!

Haaaa! I love that you brought this up! My husband peed in front of me just yesterday! We never do that! We are doors closed, faucet running as well :) i needed to finish my hair real quick and he wouldn't wait for me to leave. I couldn't stop giggling! We haven't even stinkered in front of the other! Almost three years married :)

The body can be a messy thing in good and bad ways and I think it's great when you and your partner are comfortable with each other. I've peed in front of my partner, most often post coital as we're both tidying up and there is something very sexy and intimate about it. That being said I would never do a #2 in front of a partner, that and dealing with unwanted body/facial hair-- I would NEVER want my partner to know I have a girl stache haha.

HAHA Mollie D's comment made me laugh out loud ("Maybe I camp too much?!"). After reading your post, I realized the only time I keep the door open to pee around my hubby is after sex. At that moment, the jig us up, ya know?

My husband and I have been married for 5 months and we've recently started peeing in front of each other. Usually though he will come in and go if I'm in the shower or vice versa and not while teeth brushing. I've come in to use it while he is shaving (I'm pregnant, so when I have to go I have to go!) The door is closed for number 2 though.

We definitely pee in front of each other. No #2 though unless one of us just needs to pop into the bathroom for something but we make it fast. Personally I don't think it kills the spark at all. I am a VERY body conscious person so the fact that I am comfortable enough to let him see me on the toilet is awesome. I figure he see's every bit of me when we make love whats the big deal with peeing? We usually do close the door, but then neither of us knocks when we see it closed, we just barge in. If I really want privacy I just lock the door. To each his own I guess.

Um, big NO WAY! I'm of the belief that keeping a little space and mystery is good for marriage. Not that peeing is much of a sexy mystery, but come on, there's no real good reason to watch each other pee. :)

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. Peeing is fine - nothing else though. We've seen each other at our best and at our worst. He's seen me give birth (from up close) to our 2 children and that didn't phase him. He still loves me and often tells me that I'm beautiful.

Sometimes... The difficulty with our bathroom is that the shower/tub/toilet/sink are in 1 room with only a door to the entire room. Therefore, if we are getting ready in the morning it makes it a tad difficult to stay separated when one is trying to get ready. Although, I will say that I try to avoid it at all times, but sometimes we can't divert from it... xoxo A-

This post really made me think about how insecure a lot of women are about their sexuality, and how we have somehow been convinced that small things - like a partner hearing us pee - could destroy our value as feminine, sexual beings. And not just insecurity, either... when it comes to our bodies, we are often so shameful.

HOW. SAD.

Men would never, in a million years, ever be concerned about their partner knowing they pee. Door open or closed - whatever. Privacy is not really the issue at hand. But so many women PRETENDING that it may be possible to convince their partner they aren't peeing, say, by running the faucet...

This isn't about a connection between not peeing and heightened sexiness. Because there isn't one. It doesn't exist. It's just another example of how deeply ingrained bodily shame is in so many women.

Joanna, your husband knows you are beautiful, sexy, and genuinely awesome. He also knows you pee.

No no! You're absolutely right to not want to pee in front of your beau. I think it's important that couples keep the romance alive by not over sharing. I don't let my husband come into the bathroom when I'm shaving my armpits (or other parts of the body), for that very same reason. :)

never. speaking of oprah...I remember her saying that there a few things she won't let anyone see: using the toilet, shaving her legs & brushing her teeth (?!...I guess it's the spitting). I also do not EVER pee in the woods.

Maybe this makes me uptight, but I have a problem with all the faucet running! It's such a waste of water! I'm actually shocked to read here that it's so common.

I understand wanting privacy and keeping the door closed, but why do you have to waste water? Surely your spouses know you're a human being that has to, on occasion, relieve yourself.

I have three kids and I'm lucky to be able to pee without one of them trying to jump up on my lap. I prefer a closed door, but I don't worry about it if it's opened. If my husband has managed to stay attracted to me after watching me go through childbirth three times, he can handle a glimpse of me in the loo!

With a 1 bathroom apartment we pee in front of each other when one of us has to pee and the other one is in there doing make up, putting in contacts, etc. I'm not necessarily an open door pee-er but if he's in there and not using the toilet I'm not going to hold it and I wouldn't expect him to. Number 2 is a while different story - usually there's a 'i have to use the restroom' warning so there are no mishaps of walking in on each other then!

I do, but I prefer not to, simply because for the love of Pete can I just have at least one little moment of privacy here!?!?! With a husband, two daughters, two cats and a dog (don't ask why the dog wants in) and only ONE BATHROOM it is sometimes impossible. Time to get a lock I think.

I've done it, and don't really have a problem with it, but I'd have to agree that it's best to keep some mystery between partners. Not that peeing is mysterious, but mystery in the way that some things are private and just our own experiences.

I've been with my boyfriend for four years, and number two is definitely still a private ordeal. However, I have peed in front of him since the beginning of our relationship... and you know what? Every time I go to pee and he's near, he peeks in to watch me--umm--"disrobe" my lower half. Even though I am doing it for a silly old bodily function, he still seems to like the little peep show hehe!

These comments have me laughing! Maybe I'm an odd duck but I've peed in front of my husband from almost the beginning of our relationship! We've been together for over a decade. My take on it? If I was comfortable enough to be intimate with him, then I'm comfortable enough to pee in front of him.

This is a funny topic. :) When we first moved in together, I would pee with the bathroom door open, mainly b/c the bathroom off our bedroom is the size of a closet and I get really clausterphobic in there with the door shut. (And I mean it's REALLY TINY - I'm only 5'3" but I can sit on the toilet and touch the walls on either side of me with my elbows.) My now husband would get all upset about it and make me shut the door and I would tease him about being uptight (which is really funny, b/c he's about the least up tight person I know). Now, after living together for nearly 4 years and being married for over a year, he doesn't close the door either. We actually have separate bathrooms, so it shouldn't be an issue, but we just have gotten into the habit of leaving the doors open and not caring. It really doesn't bother me one way or the other.

We used to be like you and make the whole thing like a secret, but since the intimacy of my son's birth, there's just no big deal in a pee. My son toddles around and comes in and out of the bathroom, and we think that it's helpful that he sees peeing, knows that we both do it, and that there's no hiding or shame in it. We walk in and out of the bathroom while one another is using it now and it's no big deal. If it's No. 2, we kind of laugh and ask for a bit of privacy, but nothing more than that. As an aside, when my little guy was just over 2 we told him no more diapers, and that was that. Underwear, no problem. Excited to be like mom and dad. I wonder if our openness and allowing him to do it to has helped?

ahh, guilty. my boyfriend and i have been together for five years and are just so comfortable around each other that it's not a big deal. sometimes we avert our eyes and giggle, but for the most part, it'd be strange if we weren't comfortable enough to tinkle in front of each other.

Absolutely door closed! I'm not sure it's necessarily a lack of being free and open with my body (I go topless at the beach - we live in the EU, btw - and have no problem changing in front people), but more just wanting to keep things that are less than appealing as private. Same goes for unattractive grooming habits -plucking, squeezing, etc. Why do you need to subject someone else to that, especially someone you want to find you sexy?

I understand that people have different comfort and privacy levels, but letting the water run while you to the bathroom is horrible for the environment. Not to mention there are millions of people in this world who don't have access to clean, safe drinking water.

I agree with one of the last things you said, Jo, there is something sexy about being open. I just would never want to tip-toe around or feel like I need to apologize for being human. I do draw the line at #2 though, poo is a private affair.

No. Never. We've been married 4 years and neither of us ever go in front of the other- we have a strict bathroom door closed policy around here. I love it because, like you said, I prefer to think that HE thinks I only brush my teeth and apply more lip gloss in there. I would feel so unsexy climbing into bed with him, having just peed in front of him first!

maybe it's just me? maybe i'm weird? but i pee in front of my boyfriend and even do #2 in front of him! when we first moved in together 3 years ago, i was just like you- i had to run the water while i peed and everything! but somehow, just stop being so embarrassed and lose your inhibitions. it's natural and EVERYONE does it!

For those of you who are running water to cover the sound of peeing, please consider this: less than 1% of the world’s fresh water (or about 0.007% of all water on earth) is readily accessible for direct human use, and over 884 million people in the world lack access to safe water supplies.

It is completely your business if you choose to close (or lock) the door for privacy, but please do your part to make the best use of the limited water resources that we have and stop running that faucet!

Almost nothing is out of bounds in our house. We do number 1's AND 2's in front of each other (gross, I know). I only draw the line at requiring a bit of privacy when it's 'that time of the month', despite him having watched me give birth, I just can't bring myself to handle my lady bits in front of him.

It can come back to bite you though. I've gotten so comfortable peeing with the door wide open that a few times I have nearly forgotten to close it when we had guests over!

Haha Jo, that's great! I've never peed in front of anyone but my mom and sister (and maybe a few of my best friends). I've lived with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and we've never seen each other pee, or do #2. You have to keep something to yourself, don't you? And that's exactly the kind of thing I wouldn't like to share with him ;D

I pee with the door open in front of my beau and he does the same. On the other hand I do not like when he goes #2 with the door open. I have to remind him that I love him dearly but somethings should be kept secret between us.