"A dash, a dot, two short, two long…I rather think we've got it wrong.It reads 'can clearly see the road,Hissing Sid has captured Toad!'"

"Quick men!" said Beaky, "No delay!You mustn't let him get away!"

And leaping off, said "Follow me!"And ran head first into a tree.

"Dot dot dot" squeaked Batty Bat.Said Beaky, "Quick! Decipher that!"

Said Reckless Rat, "Perhaps we're gaining?"

"No," said Owl. "He says…it's raining"

Oh, how they ran to save poor Toad,For they must find that snake's abode

Guided by old Batty BatDot dot go this way dash, go that!

Then Hissing Sid's lair they spiedWere they too late? Was he inside?

Said Reckless Rat, "I'll get a poleAnd stop him going down his hole!"

Then into sight the snake came hopping,Right past his hole, no sign of stoppingSaid Reckless Rat, "That's rather funny,

"There's something jumping in his tummy."

Said Captain Beaky, "Well I'm blowed!Hissing Sid has swallowed Toad!"

And as the snake hopped out of sight,Off they chased into the night.

At last they found him, tired and dizzy

And pulled out Toad, who said "Where is he?For left alone, I felt quite sick,And hopped into a hollow stick"

Said Owl, "A clever step to take!You jumped into that slippery snake."

"That was brave of Toad", said Rat"That's just my sort of plan!" said Bat

Said Captain Beaky to his men,"Well we'll not see Hissing Sid again!"

And as they marched off down the road,They sang in praise of Timid Toad

Above them flew ol' Batty Bat,With his wings stretched out, like thatOwl's idea, the clever fellaTo have a flying um-ber-ella

The origins of Captain Beaky stretched back over twenty years. The name came about because the author, Jeremy Lloyd (creator of Are You Being Served?), was nicknamed “Captain Beaky” at school because of his rather long nose.

Over a period of twenty years, Mr Lloyd scribbled down various short poems on the backs of envelopes, film scripts and in letters to friends - featuring such characters as Dilys the Dachschund, Harold the lonely frog, and Captain Beaky and his band.

In 1977, a book of these poems was published, and an album of music was released. The music was written by Jim Parker. The album featured such stars as Peter Sellers and Twiggy, but neither book nor record sold well. The band’s rise to fame in 1980 was brought about after Radio One DJ Noel Edmunds heard Captain Beaky on Junior Choice and played it on his own show.

Captain Beaky, the single, charted at No. 40 in February 1980 and had soon crashed into the Top Ten, reaching No. 5.

I well remember the impact. I don't personally believe that Hissing Sid was innocent, but the slogan cropped up everywhere, sprayed on numerous brick walls, scrawled on school exercise books, inscribed on car stickers, badges...

My mate Pete and I had a bit of a ding dong about it.

Said Pete: "Sid was probably asleep - with his mouth open. Toad said he hopped in voluntarily, thinking Sid was a hollow stick."

"Rubbish," said I, or words to that effect. "Hissing Sid was out to capture Toad - it was a trap!"

Joan Armatrading's 1980 album, Me, Myself, I.In 1980, I "got into" Joan's music. I'd heard her Love And Affection tracka few years previously and then, aged ten or eleven, had immediately denounced it as "soppy". But times change. At Christmas 1980, this album was a present from a very mean old family friend.

This woman was known as "Auntie" to the kids in my family, and her meaness was legendary. On her daughter's 21st birthday, "Auntie" gave her a bottle of scent she'd had for Christmas the year before.I suspected that the album I received had been an unwanted present to "Auntie" as well (her musical tastes didn't stray much beyond Dana and Sleepy Shores), but I'd enjoyed the track Me, Myself, I when it had charted, so put the record on. And that was it. I was hooked. I bought some of Joan's other albums and she helped see me through some turbulent teenage times.Thanks, Joan. Thanks, "Auntie"!

I never actually saw Breaking Glass, although I recall Hazel O'Connor going absolutely barmy in the video for her single The Eighth Day. I think that footage actually came from the film. I dunno about breaking glass - she looked like she could smash her way through reinforced concrete. A film I doremember from 1980, as an under age visitor to the local flicks with some schoolmates, was The Shining. "Heeeere's Johnny!" Of course me and my mates weren't scared. Nah, 'course not. Honest.

And here's the St Winifred's School Choir with There's No One Quite Like Grandma. This record is often slated today, listed in "worst ever" record polls and so on. But it's certainly no worse than Clive Dunn's Grandad some years before. My own Gran thought it was wonderful and the copy she was given for Christmas was her favourite present that year. She was of a less cynical generation, you see!

St Winifred's School Choir reached the No 1 spot in the chart week ending 27/12/1980. My own seasonal favourite that year was Jona Lewie's Can You Stop The Cavalry - which peaked at No 3.

It was a terrific year for the still evolving synth sound, with Visage,Depeche Mode, TheHuman League, Ultravox and Kim Carnes all providing great listening material. In the early 1980s, synth pop songs often had weird lyrics. Visage's Fade To Grey was heavy with atmosphere, and the line "Feel the rain like an English summer" definitely needed no explanation, but what was the song about? Pass. Or what about the Cure's 1983 hit The Walk: "I saw you look like a Japanese baby, in an instant, I remember everything." Uh?! I didn't mind. I loved weird, mind stretching lyrics, and the whole mood and atmosphere of the synth pop era. It was great to move to as well.

The pop group Duran Duran formed in 1978. In May 1980, Simon Le Bon joined and in 1981 they were futuristic dandies, taking over the charts, their every movement eagerly followed by a growing band of dedicated Duranies. New Romanticswere big news. Toyah did well with her terrific image and peculiar brand of middle class Punk music.The firstLondon Marathon was run.

The great Rubik's Cubeshortage ended in the spring, the country was now fully stocked, and the children's programme Tiswas launched a new campaign - SOC - "Stamp Out Cubes". The Cube was everywhere and was voted Toy of the Year for the second year running.

I remember being in a bus shelter with a gang of my mates during 1981. It was pouring with rain, but we "woz" all right in the shelter. One of us had brought their trannie (this was before ghetto blasters) and we all had our Cubes. We twirled them, listening to the likes of Stand & Deliver, which we all loved, and finally one of "der" lads cried: "I've done it! I've done the Cube!" And he had. Or at least one face of it. That was the closest any of us ever came to it.

Rubik's Cube contests between schools began. We were long-time rivals with the other comprehensive school in our district, so, when a Rubik's Cube contest was arranged between us in June 1981, we were absolutely determined to win. Our main hope, a boy called Andrew, was amazingly fast - his hands would become a blur of movement and, hey presto, the Cube would be completed in well under a minute. So we were optimistic. But disaster struck. Andrew was "off sick" on the day of the contest, and we had to send a substitute. We lost, and, to make matters worse, we were beaten by a girl. We never really lived it down.

Still, Rubik's Cube provided inspiration for one of the funniest new TV ads of 1981. Hamlet Cigars with their famous "give up whatever you're doing and have a puff to the strains of Bach's Air On A G String"series, added a Cube-themed version. A pair of hands (actually belonging to English mathematician and cube wizard David Singmaster) were seen completing the cube in less than a minute. Then, each face of the cube was surveyed and guess what? One square was obstinately out of place. The match was struck, cue music and... "Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet..."

CB radiowas legalised on the 2nd of November and shops immediately sold out of the first British models as the public went CB crazy.

Norfolk turkey farmer Bernard Matthews came up with his "bootiful" advertising phrase in 1980 and the first of the fondly remembered TV ads was screened in 1981.

"Midnight, not a sound from the pavement..." The Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Cats made its debut.

Royal Wedding fever struck and Charles and Diana even had the honour of appearing on a Rubik's Cube.

In America, the first space shuttlewas launched on 12th April. Another 1981 American launch was MTV.

The march of the "Women For Life On Earth", from Cardiff, Wales, to Berkshire, England, in August/September 1981, was the origin of theGreenham Common PeaceCamp.

Concerns about the possibility of inappropriate spending of dinner money were voiced as the increasingly popularSpace Invadersmachines were installed in recreation areas at certain schools.Donkey jacketsand 'Y' (Yale) cardigans started coming into fashion.John McEnroegot into trouble at Wimbledon and gave us a new catchphrase "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS! THE BALL WAS IN!" Joe Dolcehad us all shouting "SHADDUPPA YA FACE!" and the Walkmanname appeared in this country for the first time. Cliff Richard carried one in the roller disco-based video for Wired For Sound. By 1983, personal stereos were becoming a must have. Roller discos had been a growing trend in America since c. 1979.Phones became a little more mobile on 19 November 1981 as BT brought in theirnew-style plug and socket phones, still in use today - which made movement and replacement of house phones quite a lot easier!Noele Gordonwas sacked from her role as Meg Mortimer in Crossroads. The pivotal character in the serial since its beginning in 1964, Noele left in November and the oh-so-familiar reception area, on screen since the motel's refurbishment in the late 1960s, burned down.Noele, known to her friends as "Nolly", then appeared on Russell Harty's chat show, sang a song called Goodbye, and got all tear sodden. Oh dear.

Bucks Fizzwon the Eurovision Song Contest for the UK with Making Your Mind Up.

Did YOU do theBirdie Dancein 1981? Many people did, including Benny in the Christmas edition of Crossroads; Ronnie Corbett stepped into sitcoms with Sorry and some viewers found Thomas Magnum, PI, "quite dishy".

Only Fools And Horses was the start of a TV classic, and Dangermouseand Willo The Wispwere great kids' telly. Postman Pat and Mr Spoon, bound for Button Moon, arrived for the little'uns."Watching us." "Watching you." "Watching us." "Watching you." Yes, it was Sarah Kennedy, Jeremy Beadle and Henry and Matthew Kelly with Saturday teatime "treat" Game For A Laugh.

Bullseye began. "Well, you can't beat a bit of bully, can you?" said Jim Bowen. Many of us agreed.

IBM introduced the first true PC - designed to be an "affordable business machine". Still pricey to the average person, but they would catch on later.

We'd had over a million unemployed in Britain since the early 1970s. Now it was over two million and rapidly rising and the government did not appear, to many, to give a damn. The brilliant Ghost Town by the Specials, on the famous Two Tone label, captured the mood of frustration and decay.

A first glimpse of Prince - the funky American pop maestro, who was bringing what was being touted as "US Punkfunk" to England in this 1981 newspaper ad for the New Musical Express. Whilst some attribute the origins of Punk to the likes of Iggy Pop in the America of the late 1960s, America's fully-fledged Punk scene was, of course, later than ours and lacked the snarling attitude (and repeated 1950s guitar riffs!) of bands like the Sex Pistols.Prince first charted here in February 1983 with 1999.Bruce Springsteen was also heading our way and were the Rolling Stones about to split up? There was only one way to discover the answers - buy a copy of the New Musical Express, "your ruder rudder through life's stormy seas".

The ad's "Di" and "Charlie" references reflected 1981's outbreak of Royal Wedding fever.

No 1 in England and Australia - this is the German single. The Joe Dolce Music Theatre seemed to be EVERYWHERE!!Here in England, we were all shouting "Shaddap Your Face!" for yonks.Daft times - happy memories!

If They were Me and I was You...Wickedly spoofed by Pamela Stephenson on Not The Nine 0'Clock News, Clare Grogan and her Altered Images pals didn't care. I liked them - especially Don't Talk To Me About Love. I liked Pam's spoof, too.

If 1987 was a posh cocktail at a trendy wine bar, 1982 was a pint and a packet of cheese and onion at The Laughing Donkey. Probably wearing deelybobbers - aka deelyboppers aka bonce boppers. The name ("deely-bobbers" - according to 20th Century Words by John Ayto) was registered in the USA in 1982, with claim of usage since 1981. Previously it had been applied to a children's toy - a type of interconnecting building block.1980s deelybobbers were glitter-covered polystyrene baubles, on springs, attached to a headband. They were daft but fun and highly popular after their arrival here in the second half of 1982, and throughout 1983.

In this country, I seem to recall them being referred to as "deelyboppers" not "bobbers" back then.And many other names!I personally favoured "deelyboppers" but, whatever they were called, I thought they were brilliant. Morehere.The Falklands War raged and Mrs Thatcher briefly lost son Mark in the desert.Erika Roestreaked at Twickenham.

The Queen awoke to find an intruder in her bedroom at Buckingham Palace.Michael Fagansat chatting to her. When he asked her for a fag, she managed to summon help.

TheFame TV series, based on the 1980 film, began on the BBC, andlegwarmers, Fame tank tops and sweat shirts were hot. Grandmaster Flash gave us the brilliant The Messageand the Hip Hop scene was on the way. Jeffrey Daniel of Shalamar introduced us to body popping on Top of the Pops. More here.England, too, produced quality pop. How about Orville's Song, for starters? Or Toto Coelo'sIEat Cannibals? No? Suit yourself.

Trevor Beattie came up with one of the most fondly remembered TV ads of the 1980s - Bixie, Dunk, Brian, Crunch and Brains - the Weetabix - "OK?!" More here.-Black lycra leggings, ending around the knee, were coming into fashion. Lovely when worn under a rah rah skirt. Pixie boots were a must-have. Boys loved sta prest drainpipes and white socks and the donkey jacket was rampant. The donkey jacket was adopted by girls too, and a trend began for having their names printed on the plastic panel at the back.

As large numbers of girls took up that formerly male fashion, the donkey jacket, boys were less enthusiastic about pixie boots and legwarmers!

My mate Pete was one of the few blokes I knew who wore legwarmers. "Ah," he says, when I remind him of that fact, "But they were always white ones. They had to be white."What has that got to do with it?!Pete also wore pixie boots. "They were cowboy boots!" he now insists. Yeah, right, mate...The fitness fad was on with the release of theF-Plan Dietand the Jane Fonda Workout video. Sadly, the price of video machines, even to rent, was still prohibitive to many.

The term "Sloane Ranger" had been coined in the mid-1970s, and the publication of The Sloane Ranger's Handbook - The First Guide To What Really Matters In Life by Ann Barr and Peter York in 1982 aroused great interest in the "Ok, yah," brigade. ETwas the darling of the flicks and boosted sales of BMX bikes no end. We were all going around saying "ET phone home" for months, too.

CB radiocontinued to thrill, inspiring a storyline in Coronation Street that could have been entitled "When Eddie ("Slim Jim") met Marion ("Stardust Lil")" and a storyline inTerry andJune that could have been entitled "When Terry got Trapped in the Back of a Lorry in His Car".The wonderfully anarchic and surrealThe Young Onesgave TV comedy a boot up the bottom.Dynastywas first shown on the BBC on the 1st of May, but Alexis did not appear until the final episode of the first series, a veiled figure in a courtroom scene. In the second series, she was revealed to be our very own Joan Collins (American soap producers seemed to think that a posh English accent gave class to their shows). Alexis would soon become an 80s legend, but let's not forget the others - Fallon, Pamela Sue Martin, previously the wholesome Nancy Drew; Blake, played by John Forsythe (we couldn't wait to see what Charlie from Charlie's Angels looked like!) and the lovely Krystle - played by the equally lovely Linda Evans. There were many others. Such glitz. Such gloss. Such shoulder pads. Great fun.

Channel Fourbegan, bringing us Countdown, Treasure Hunt, revolutionary soap Brookside and more alternative comedy with The Comic Strip Presents. Ronald Allen (David Hunter of Crossroads) would never be viewed in quite the same way after his stint as Uncle Quentin!

Channel Four also gave us The Tube.

The first Rubik's Cube World Championships were held in Hungary.

Hair gel was becoming an absolute must-have. I was never without a jar, and teased my hair into the weirdest shapes possible.Boy Georgeflounced onto the pop scene, raising more than a few eye brows. Duran Duran shoved up the sleeves of their big-shouldered, brightly coloured jackets whilst messing about on the water for the Rio video. The reason? It was a hot day!

The brightly-coloured-jacket-with-pushed-up-sleeve-look became one of the defining looks of the 1980s.

American actor Don Johnson was impressed and ordered similar jackets, but made out of linen, for his character inMiami Vice, which began in America 1984 and popped over here in early '85.

"Baby look at me and tell me what you see..." We see Doris on the cover of a Look-In magazine which contained an invitation for readers to meet the kids from Fame in an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW! Fame, the TV series, had debuted here in June 1982 and was becoming very popular.Later in the year, the kids visited England. More here.Other goodies in this issue of Look-In included The Fall Guy, Bananarama and... er... Cannon & Ball.

Ex-Grange Hill actress Sheila Chandra was the singer with Monsoon, the group which gave us Ever So Lonely, an excellent fusion of pop and Asian music - considered by many to be the first world music hit. Hadn't heard it for years, recently found it on a compilation CD. Highly chuffed!

... If we are what we eat, you're my kind of meat...Remember those lyrics from Toto Coelo? I Eat Cannibals was a smashing piece of pop fun. You disagree? Suit yourselves, but I loved it then and love it now... oh sweet memories of youth!In the USA, the group was known as "Total Coelo" after MOR group Toto made noises about the "Toto" part of Toto Coelo.Back to those lyrics...Hot pot, cook it up - I'm never gonna stopyum yum, gee it's fun - I'm banging on a drum...One member of Toto Coelo had a father who had been a celebrity for years, and whose career was shortly to receive a major boost...

... yep, band member Ros Holness was the daughter of Bob Holness, who would be appearing on the highly successful telly quiz Blockbusters from 1983 onwards.

In 1982, Bob was a radio newsreader and, for both his daughters, "P" was for pop...From The Sun, September 1982:Radio newsman Bob Holness has become pop's top pop.

Both his daughters, Carole and Ros, have records in the charts, although the former Radio One DJ, who is now the star of Independent Radio News, did not want the girls to have pop careers.

Ros is in the group Toto Coelo, whose record "I Eat Cannibals" is at number nine, and Carole, better known as Nancy Nova, has a single "No, No, No," hovering in the lower reaches.

Holness says: "They were both trained as actresses and I tried to steer them away from the pop business, but my guidance had the opposite effect.

"Now I'm rather pleased about their success. You can't really be worried if they succeed."

Carole was also in the original Toto Coelo until she broke away for a solo career.

The Hip Hop scene was really taking shape in 1982. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five pointed the way with the gob smackingly brilliant The Message.

The groundbreaking character of The Message, with its gritty, socially aware lyrics, cannot be doubted - and its influence on the Hip Hop scene was massive.

It’s like a jungle sometimesIt makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ underIt’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under Broken glass everywherePeople pissin’ on the stairs, you know they just don’t care I can’t take the smell, can’t take the noise Got no money to move out, I guess I got no choice Rats in the front room, roaches in the back Junkies in the alley with a baseball bat I tried to get away but I couldn't get far ’cuz a man with a tow truck repossessed my carDon't push me ’cuz I’m close to the edge I’m trying not to lose my head Uh huh ha ha ha It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ underStandin’ on the front stoop hangin’ out the window Watchin’ all the cars go by, roarin’ as the breezes blow Crazy lady, livin’ in a bag Eatin’ outta garbage pails, used to be a fag hag Said she’ll dance the tango, skip the light fandango A Zircon princess seemed to lost her senses Down at the peep show watchin’ all the creeps So she can tell her stories to the girls back home She went to the city and got social security She had to get a pimp, she couldn’t make it on her ownDon’t push me 'cuz I’m close to the edge I’m trying not to lose my head Uh huh ha ha ha It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ underMy brother’s doin’ bad, stole my mother’s TV Says she watches too much, it’s just not healthy All My Children in the daytime, Dallas at night Can’t even see the game or the Sugar Ray fight The bill collectors, they ring my phone and scare my wife when I’m not home Got a bum education, double-digit inflation Can’t take the train to the job, there’s a strike at the station Neon King Kong standin’ on my back Can’t stop to turn around, broke my sacroiliac A mid-range migraine, cancered membrane Sometimes I think I'm goin’ insane I swear I might hijack a plane!Don’t push me 'cuz I'm close to the edge I’m trying not to lose my head It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ underMy son said, Daddy, I don’t wanna go to school 'cuz the teacher’s a jerk, he must think I’m a fool And all the kids smoke reefer, I think it’d be cheaper if I just got a job, learned to be a street sweeper Or dance to the beat, shuffle my feet Wear a shirt and tie and run with the creeps 'cuz it’s all about money, ain’t a damn thing funny You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey They pushed that girl in front of the train Took her to the doctor, sewed her arm on again Stabbed that man right in his heart Gave him a transplant for a brand new start I can’t walk through the park 'cuz it’s crazy after dark Keep my hand on my gun 'cuz they got me on the run I feel like a outlaw, broke my last glass jaw Hear them say “You want some more?” Livin’ on a see-sawDon’t push me 'cuz I’m close to the edge I’m trying not to lose my head Say what? It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under A child is born with no state of mind Blind to the ways of mankind God is smilin’ on you but he's frownin’ too Because only God knows what you’ll go through You’ll grow in the ghetto livin’ second-rate And your eyes will sing a song called deep hate The places you play and where you stay Looks like one great big alleyway You’ll admire all the number-book takers Thugs, pimps and pushers and the big money-makers Drivin’ big cars, spending twenties and tens And you’ll wanna grow up to be just like them, huh Smugglers, scramblers, burglars, gamblers Pickpocket peddlers, even panhandlers You say I’m cool, huh, I’m no fool But then you wind up droppin’ outta high school Now you’re unemployed, all non-void Walkin’ round like you’re Pretty Boy Floyd Turned stick-up kid, but look what you done did Got sent up for a eight-year bid Now your manhood is took and you’re a Maytag Spend the next two years as a undercover fag Bein’ used and abused to serve like hell ’til one day, you was found hung dead in the cell It was plain to see that your life was lost You was cold and your body swung back and forth But now your eyes sing the sad, sad song Of how you lived so fast and died so young so...Don’t push me 'cuz I'm close to the edge I’m trying not to lose my head Uh huh huh huh huh It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under Huh, uh huh huh huh huh It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under Huh, uh huh huh huh huh…

A copy of Smash Hits from May 1982.Ex-Depeche Mode member, synth maestro Vince Clarke, was terrific alongside Alison "Alf" Moyet in Yazoo. Vince went on to form the Assembly and then partnered Andy Bell in Erasure. Alison went on to a successful solo career. Her terrific voice stopped my mother's moan of many years standing that "modern pop singers can't sing!"

Here's a nice badge from my collection. What visit to 1982 would be complete without a quick burst of "tooh-rye-tooh-rye-ay"? Cheers to Dexy's Midnight Runners for Come On Eileen - undoubtedly one of the best songs ever written (or so it seems after I've had a few pints).

Presenting Baby Bright Eyes - the most famous baby in the world - with his adoring Mum [Charles was not included in the photograph featured inside the paper]. The first official pictures of the newest Royal family are released today - the first wedding anniversary of the Prince and Princess of Wales.

Prince William Arthur Philip Louis of Wales lies happily against his mother's warm shoulder for the photo session at Kensington Palace.

The tiny Prince was just four weeks old when the pictures were taken on July 20...

Henry's Cat and his mate Chris Rabbit first appeared in the BBC's 5.35pm slot (just before the news!) on 12 September 1983. Created by Stan Hayward and animated and narrated by Bob Godfrey (of Roobarb fame), this "children's" series was a hoot. I never missed an episode if I could help it, despite the fact that we never saw Henry. Or found out his cat's name.

Oh hooray - it's Metal Mickey's Boogie Book. There had been a couple of series of this show, ruining my Saturday teatimes, since it arrived in 1980, and I never warmed to it - although I was a fan of one of its stars, Irene Handl. She called Metal Mickey "fluff", he called her "my little fruitbat".

Metal Mickey also said "boogie boogie" a lot, which was the signal for everybody around him to start dancing.I wasn't actually part of the target audience, which is perhaps why MM gave me the pip. Mind you, I wasn't part of the target audience for Dangermouse, Willo The Wisp, Henry's Cat or, later in the decade, Duckulaand the tiny tots' puppet seriesThe Riddlers, but I still loved 'em. I was, and am, a big kid at heart. So maybe the reason I didn't like MM was simply 'cos it was rubbish?

Answers on a postcard please...However, back in those (far) simpler days of the 1980s, MM was wildly popular.In more recent years, the BBC's priggish and factually inaccurate I Love... series sneered at and slammed the show in a most highhanded fashion.

Top of the nation's list of concerns this year was unemployment. In 1980, it had been inflation. Inflation, which had been such a tremendous worry during the 1970s, was down but the unemployment figures were going up. And up. And up...

We'd been horrified when unemployment passed the million mark, for the first time since the 1930s, in the early 1970s, but we hadn't seen anything yet... we now had three million unemployed. Yes, three million. And the 1979 Tory election slogan had been Labour Isn'tWorking! But never mind. Thatcher and co told us this nasty medicine was necessary. Once we had a stable, competitive economy everything would be rosy. Trust them, that was all they asked. Hmm...

The Hip Hop scene was evolving fast, born of the American rap scene. In 1983, the scene swept across England. Youngsters could be seen in city centres across the land, breakdancing and body popping. The boombox (aka the ghetto blaster) had arrived and was an essential piece of kit. The boombox had developed from the radio cassette recorder, and the term boombox was probably first coined at the beginning of the 80s. This was when the things began to grow rapidly in size. I recall them being called "ghetto blasters" here, and don't think I ever heard the name "boombox" back then.

In England in 1983, it was trendy to cover your boombox/ghetto blaster in stickers and no blank wall was safe from a spot of Hip Hop graffiti.

Our neighbours' eleven-year-old son painted "Hip Hop" on the side wall of his family home. I was impressed - it was a fine piece of work, like something out of a breakdance film, but his reward from his parents was a scrubbing brush, a bucket of soapy water and the loss of two weeks' pocket money. As I said to the lad, "Some people just don't appreciate art!"

I will always remember this as the year of Blue Monday by New Order. I hated it at first. Just a disorganised mass of synthy bits and guitar chords, thought I. Within a week, I not only had the record but was playing it around twelve times a day. Magic.

Sky TV didn't arrive until 1989, so I couldn't see MTV. Could anybody in England at this point? But the effects of the music video revolution were being felt - never more so than with Michael Jackson's Thriller.

Another trend that was reaching our level was continental quilts. You could buy them from mail order catalogues and pay for them in small regular amounts. But did you want them? This was debated long and hard. A conversation between two woman, which I heard in a local shop in early 1983, went something like this...

Wendy: "The trouble with you, Carol, you don't think things through. I've ordered one from Audrey's catalogue. You can get different thicknesses, summer, winter, all that, and you can always put a candlewick over the top and tuck it in to hold it in place."

Carol was most impressed.Flashdance, the film sensation of 1983, was a bit like Fame, but with better dancing. The film started a trend amongst the girlies for wearing off the shoulder tops.

Welsh songstress Bonnie Tyler scored a tremendous hit with Total Eclipse of the Heart.

What was the Total Eclipse video about? There was Bonnie, a singer I'd been fond of for a few years, rushing around a country house with big hair and boys in loin cloths.What was all that about?My mate Pete had the answer: "A headmaster's daughter who's gone off her rocker."

"Oh, right. How do you know that?"

"I read it in the paper."

"Fair enough..."The hand-held mobile was still in the future for us here in England, but BT gave us its first cordless phone.

The first commercially available hand-held cellular phone ever was unveiled in 1983. Motorola had invested fifteen years of research and $100 million in the advancement of cellular technology, and the story stretched back much further than that. The first hand-held mobile was called the DynaTAC 8000X and was unveiled on March 6th. It was, of course, a brick. At a price of $3,995 it wasn't for everybody. More here.

It may have been late 1982 or during 1983 but Compact discs were first marketed here around this time. As with many new things, the price was prohibitive and it would be some years before they were widespread. Read all about them here.

Computers began talking the same BASIC language and the internet was on the way. "B" was for brilliant Bob Holness as Blockbustersbegan. The original American version had begun in October 1980, but our version was best - who else could host it like Bob?!

Children's TV showNumber 73, which had begun in the TVS area in 1982, was networked. A certain Mr JR Hartley went searching for a copy of his book, Fly Fishing, and found it with a little help from Yellow Pages. More here.Breakfast TVarrived: on the BBC we had Selina Scott, Frank Bough (in some lovely jumpers) and Francis the weatherman. The style was sofa-based and relaxed.

TV-am, ITV's breakfast time service, was also sofa based but a little more formal as Angela Rippon, Anna Ford, David Frost, Robert Kee and Michael Parkinson set out with their "mission to explain". The mission never really got off the ground, and it wasn't long before "The Famous Five" had been replaced by Anne "don't call me Annie!" Diamond, former sports presenter Nick Owen, weather girl Wincey Willis andRoland Rat - "Yeeaaarrrgggh!".

Australian soap Sons and Daughters came to English afternoon telly. Lucky viewers in some ITV regions got their first look at the feuding Hamilton and Palmer families in 1983, and quickly took "Pat the Rat", played by Rowena Wallace, to their hearts. The actors were greatly admired for their ability to freeze and turn sepia at the end of each episode. Production on the show in Australia took place from 1981 to 1987.

Garfield, the American fat cat, was becoming popular over here, with a range of merchandise available at Clinton Cards.

Care Bears were the year's cute and cuddlies, but the end of the year held something quite different: newspapers from 1983 record that just before Christmas some Cabbage Patch Dolls had made their way from America to England. In great demand, they came with their own adoption certificates and, by the look of them, a nasty attack of mumps.

"Choose Life" slogan T-shirts and luminous fingerless gloves were all the rage. Thanks, Wham! But who came up with the idea for wearing odd coloured luminous socks? Don't know, don't want to know!

Some brave everyday blokes were beginning to wear pink and putting blonde highlights in their hair.

This charming lady was called Zelda - an alien from Gerry Anderson's 1980s Sunday teatime series, Terrahawks. There was a game of noughts and crosses mixed up in the credits and, sat there, more often than not recovering from a clanging hangover, a legacy from the night before, I used to love it. Anybody else remember it? This 1983 edition of Look-In also offered us Knight Rider, Dangermouse, Tracey Ullman and Abba. Good, eh?

Before My Little Pony there was My Pretty Pony, a larger toy - each one standing about ten inches high. These were on sale in the USA from 1981 onwards, until at least 1983. My Little Pony, by Hasbro, arrived in American toy shops in 1983 and then trotted over to England.

The Dream Castle packaging.

The ponies had names like Bowtie, Confetti and Peachy (sorry, I don't know the names of the two pictured above!). I seem to recall that at least one of them wore leg warmers.

Looking down on the castle...

-

The ponies appeared in their own TV series and in a film and were wildly popular, becoming one of the best selling girls' toys ever.

The Eurythmics, Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart - Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This, a chilling 1980s synth classic. Annie and Dave first charted as The Tourists in 1979, with a disappointing cover of 1960s Dusty Springfield classic I Only Want To Be With You, previously (and equally naffly) covered by the Bay City Rollers in 1976. In the early 1980s Annie and Dave transformed themselves into the highly excellent Eurythmics and never looked back.

30.5.05

1984 saw us moving into the Yuppie era. For many, the financial hard times were over. They had been grinding on since the early 1970s, and suddenly people seemed to be going a bit money mad.

But it wasn't all jam. The miners' strike began in protest at their latest pay offer and planned pit closures. A long and bitter time lay ahead for them and their families. Over the next few years, we also heard a lot about the "North/South Divide". Whilst the South of England boomed, things in the North of this country, and in Wales and Scotland were not nearly so good. The North/South Divide was nothing new, but traditional industries in some parts of the UK had been declining for years, and the policies of the Thatcher government were doing nothing to alleviate the situation. It wasn't all bad news, at least for those not living in England: public spending in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland was higher than in England, and had been for several years, via a system called the Barnett Formula. Back in 1984 I was suffering from Thatcher phobia and couldn't even bear to hear her voice on the TV or radio. The merest sight or sound of her was enough to send me diving for the "off" button.

MAGGIE! MAGGIE! MAGGIE! OUT! OUT! OUT! GRRRR!!!!

1984 saw the blossoming of the openly gay pop star era in England. Paul Rutherford and Holly Johnson of Frankie Goes To Hollywood, the brilliant Bronski Beat and Boy George (who had declared himself "bisexual" and a "poof with muscles" in an interview with Titbits magazine in late 1983), all showed the way forward. I remember back in the summer of 1980, reading in a Sunday tabloid that a well-known male pop star was bisexual. I recall my mother's shocked expression and my stepfather's angry growls at the news. A few years later, they bought my little sister a Boy George doll and were allowing her to display posters of openly gay pop stars on her bedroom wall.

And this during the era of "AIDS - the gay plague" in certain tacky newspapers. The 1980s really were a multi-faceted time. Looking back, the decade often seems chaotic and exhausting.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood stormed the charts with Relax. Banned by the BBC for its saucy gay references, the song went to No 1. But that wasn't the only reason - it's a brilliant piece of dance music. On the back of Frankie's success, "Frankie Say Relax" T-shirts flew into the shops."Sell him your soul, sell him your soul - never look back!"Propaganda, the totally brilliant German electro-pop group, gave us the absolutely awesome Dr Mabuse. Loved it. Still do.

Of course, this was 1984, and the Eurythmics' Sexcrime (Nineteen Eighty Four) drove me completely barmy on the dance floor. Music was getting faster. Harder. We were in the era of what I call "80s clatter pop", and I was head-over-heels for it.But let's come back down to earth, shall we? All together now: "Aga doo doo doo..." This song, with its attendant silly dance, drove us all potty. However, I hold my hand up to dancing to it, doing all the movements, and enjoying it on more than one occasion after a few pints. Blush, blush.

Shoulder pads, 1984-style, were getting beyond a joke. Slowly growing since around 1982, they hadn't quite reached critical mass yet, but Chaka Khan, Alexis and Krystle were certainly looking a little burdened.Miami Vicebegan in America and the Don Johnson look became a trend - linen jackets with shoulder pads, the outline of the pads clearly defined through the thin material, so men were not left out. Shoulder pads were part of the "Power Dressing" image. The phrase was first recorded in 1980, according to the Twentieth Century Book of Words by John Ayto (Oxford, 1999). Back then, it meant a smart, efficient look for executive women. But as the 80s continued the shoulders grew and grew.Colourful Moon Boots were another fashion sensation of 1984.

Mullets were starting to move into the Yuppie era by becoming big and bouffant, though it would be a few years before they reached maxi-size. The name "mullet" for this popular hairstyle would not come into use until the 1990s.

The aforementioned combinations of bright and drab colours - like yellow and grey - were becoming more and more popular in decor and clothing. Lycra was being worn more and more outside of gym, aerobics or Yoga sessions. The new lycra dresses showed off the "fit for business" figure of the mid-80s woman.

Computers took a great leap forward in 1984 - the Apple Macintoshcame with its own "mouse".

In Russia, then still very much "behind the Iron Curtain",Tetris was invented.

Did you pursue the trivial in 1984? Many people did as the British edition of Trivial Pursuitmade its debut in January.

We bid farewell to Sale of the Century this year. Never "hip", even at the start, it was, none the less, preferable to the American style gameshow The Price Is Right. Hosted by Leslie Crowther, the hysterical contestants and audience drove many to the "off" button.

And then there was 60s singer Cilla Black and Surprise, Surprise. Cilla had become a TV presenter when her singing career folded, and her TV career continued throughout the 70s and 80s (and 90s). On Surprise, Surprise, she sat on the "Cilla sofa" seeking to reunite long lost loved ones and bring the odd bit of light into people's lives by popping up in filmed sequences with a song. Lovely.

Spitting Imagewas brilliant, savage satire. If only there were programmes like it nowadays...The skies over England are usually full of rain clouds, but was that an alien mother ship I saw in 1984? Diana and the V invasion on ITV made a pleasant alternative (for some) to the Olympics coverage on the Beeb.

In the BBC Radio 4 serial The Archers, Mrs Marjorie Antrobus (Margot Boyd) put in her first appearance, giving a talk on "The Colourful World Of The Afghan Hound" to the Ambridge Women's Institute.

The charity record Do They Know It's Christmas? was, of course, Christmas Number One. It was the brainchild of one Bob Geldof, formerly of the Boomtown Rats. Bob had been deeply moved by TV news footage of famine stricken people in the Third World, and enlisted the help of Midge Ure to put the song together. They then assembled the great and the good of the pop scene to sing it - "Band Aid", they called it. Boy George arrived late, but the record was on shop shelves in time for Christmas.

Subscribe To

Follow by Email

Translate

INTRODUCTION

The '80s Actual blog is designed to be an antidote to all those television shows and on-line articles of recent years which examine pop culture - and frequently get it hopelessly wrong! If you sat watching the BBC's "I Love The 1970s" and exclaimed over items being shown "I could swear that was 1968!" or "Wasn't that 1981?" chances are you were right.

If you look at certain '70s fan sites and think a lot of the material written about is actually from the '80s, you are almost certainly correct.

If on-line encyclopedia articles which state that pop culture of 1983 is really 1977, or similar, have you wishing for reality, then '80s Actual is for you.

There is a huge drive in the media and on-line to negate the 1980s, to attribute that decade's innovations and fond memories to other decades, and basically to present it as a completely vapid ten years, not worthy of examination.

I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's just comforting to have a decade people can scapegoat and declare "HORRIBLE"?

This blog is based on actual memories, media footage (thank you, YouTube!) and snippets of newspaper and magazine articles from the 1980s. If you read it here, I think you can rest assured it's accurate, though I can take no responsibility for the newspaper reports from the decade!The '80s Actual blog examines the decade's news stories - from the emergence of Lady Diana Spencer into the public eye in 1980, to the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989.

Was it simply "The Greed Decade" as many like to claim? I think not - the '80s saw the emergence of yuppies, but also Red Wedge, the Greenham Common Peace Women, and increasing concern for the environment. It may be convenient to scapegoat the '80s as the cause of all known ills, but the reality of the decade was far different - absolute bedlam, as Right fought Left, idealism fought corporate ambition. The election ofRonald Reagan as American President in 1980, and his second victory in 1984, had a far more decisive effect on the international political landscape than the three successive general election victories of UK Prime MinisterMargaretThatcher in 1979, 1983 and 1987.

Musically, the 1980s saw the beginnings of House Music, the exciting and still evolving world of synths taking centre stage, the evolvement of Rap music into the fully-fledged Hip Hop scene, Band Aid and Live Aid, great Indie, startling Acid House, and Raves...

And there was so much more! The decade truly had something for everyone - and provided a welcome escape for a while from the long-running and boring saga of flared trousers as fashion, begun back in the 1960s!

There are also also '80s Actual sister blogs taking us back to the '70s and '60s - The Real 1970s and Spacehopper.The view of the 1980s presented here is from an English perspective - much of the original '80s material used is from England, but I hope this blog will prove useful and enjoyable to people in the other nations of the UK and much further afield.