Why I Won’t Hire You

I will be very honest with you in this post. Most interview
articles only show obvious mistakes, as if most people don’t know
showing up late is bad form. I will tell you the things I didn’t really
know about until I was the one interviewing, and interviewing for a
variety of positions and person-types. No interview prep article ever
prepared me in the right way for how interviewers really think. That is
what I will be sharing with you today.

When you first walk in to my office, I am expecting you to be one of the
99%+ people who I know I won’t hire in the first 5 minutes. I am hoping
I will be proven wrong, because I really want to hire you and be done
interviewing. Unfortunately, most people looking for jobs don’t deserve
them. Here are the most common ways I know you don’t deserve any job I
have to offer.

You send me a stupidly long resume

If I have to spend more than 30 seconds finding out what you have
accomplished, forget it. You have annoyed me. Somehow, since resumes
went digital, people feel like they can cram in 10 pages of boring
essays talking about this achievement or that role, and expect me to
read every juicy word. More likely, I will ignore the whole thing, write
down in my notes “poor communicator”, and move on. If you have a good
set of skills or something catches my eye, you might still get an
interview, but I’ll still never read the resume. And you had better be a
better communicator on the phone or in person.

Think about it this way – the resume items communicate to me your past
successes in a (supposedly) succinct manner. If you can’t nail it in one
sentence, do I really want to look forward to your rambling emails
every day? If I can’t read your resume, it doesn’t bode well for your
emails, and I get enough of those in my inbox as it is.

To craft a great resume, tailor it to my job posting. If I have a skill
set in there like “Windows Administration”, make sure you have at least
one bullet point talking about success in a project where you used that
skill. Make the bullet no longer than three sentences. One is better. I
am likely to read one sentence. I might read three. More than that and I
won’t even know what you wrote there. You wasted my time and your own.

You can’t tell me why you like your current job

I always ask people what they like most about their current job before
I get into any details about a role. Why? I want to see if you’ll be
happy working in this new job. If you can’t tell me anything you like,
or you tell me something you like but it sounds really generic? Then
forget it, I have no idea what you want to do in life and you probably
don’t either. Come see me when you know what you want to do. I would
even be happy with something like “Well, this job doesn’t enliven me,
but my last job, I loved doing XXX every day, and man, I miss
that. It looks like this role will let me get back to that.” Let me know
you're passionate or don’t waste my time.

The worst answers? “Well I like the challenge” or some other BS. Don’t
BS me. I have a super BS detector, and most other interviewers do too.
The worst BS is the kind where more than 50% of candidates say the same
thing. If you can’t be original about what you like about your unique job how can I expect you to be creative working for me?

If you have a generic answer like you enjoy learning, the challenge,
helping customers, that can be alright. Just sound excited when you talk
about it. Give me an example of a time when you got really fired up
about it. I don’t mind if it doesn’t relate to the job I am interviewing
you for, though that helps. Just expect me to ask why you think this
job will give you the same passion – and have a good answer ready.
Really, why else are you applying if you don’t know this?

No career plans or vision

When I ask you what your next role is going to be after the one you’re
interviewing for, you had better have a good answer. Everyone should
have a story about why you want to come work for me, in this specific
role. If you can tell me how this role helps you accomplish your long
term goals, I’m much more likely to think you’ll be happy here and work
hard in the job. If you just want a job, why should I care? Someone else
will come to me with their vision. Eventually.

A good answer is a well thought out vision. You should have that anyway.
Here is a good example: “I am looking to move away from working in my
current small company to a bigger company with more career growth and
opportunities. I want to rise to an executive level in the next 10
years, but my current company is too small to allow me to stretch
effectively in that way. [This role] builds on my strengths in
communication and project management, and will help me grow as a leader
and improve my influencing skills. In a few years, I would look to
becoming a senior manager…” and on with how this role fits into your
life vision.

No Skills

Please, don’t bother applying if you don’t have the required skills. I
will know. If you’ll be programming, expect to program in the
interview. And program well. If you’ll be project managing, you had
better be able to tell me about the right way to build a project plan
and project vision. I’ll probably even describe a project and ask you to
build a plan right there, with me. Just because the title has something
in it you vaguely think you can do, if you don’t meet the requirements,
please don’t waste my time. I might be ok if you are up front with me
and tell me you want a career change and are willing to take a more
junior position to learn. I might take a chance on you if everything
else is solid. But tell me that in your resume so we don’t waste time.
Yes, telling me that in your resume improves your chances of getting
hired, even if not necessarily for this job or winning an interview. I
won’t claim this is true for all interviewers, but it is true for me.

It’s about setting expectations. If you come in, and my expectation is,
for instance, that you know Unix administration, and then you tell me
“Well, I read a book and I really want to learn it”, no, I won’t like
that. If instead you put in your resume an objective line “Looking to
grow skills in Unix administration from a project background”, now we
are on the same page. If I don’t need an expert right now, maybe I will
invest in training you since you have the vision and self-motivation.
Oh, and describing what you are doing to prepare is also good, even if
you don’t have on the job experience. See how the expectation can change
my perspective? Give me happy surprises, not unhappy surprises.

Answer my questions with conjecture

I will test you in a lot of ways. I will ask you to describe a lot of
situations – where you failed, where you succeeded, what you would
change, what you hate and what you love. Don’t sit there and tell me
what you would do in the future. I didn’t ask what you would do, I asked
what you did. If I have to wait for you to finish talking, then say
“Could you give me a specific example where you did something like
that?” Then you have failed to answer my question. If I ask for an
example, please give me one. If you don’t have one, that’s ok, tell me
you have never been in that situation, but you have some ideas if I
would like to hear them. Yes, I probably would like to hear them, but I
might also have another question with different examples I would rather
know about.

If you don’t think well on your feet, spend some time reading through
and practicing situational interview questions. I won’t ever use one I
see online, but it will help train your mind to answer, and give you
fresh memories to draw from. I also don’t mind when a candidate pauses
to think. I will wait. I know everyone has different styles of thinking
and responding.

How to Win the interview

I think it’s pretty simple. I look for a few traits in people I am going
to hire. If you are missing even one, I’m probably going to pass you up
for someone who doesn’t. Do your best to show off these traits and
you’ll win. This is true in every case, from hiring a janitor to an
executive.

Show me you can get things done. This means you can accomplish
challenging tasks quickly, come up to speed when necessary, go the extra
mile if you have to, influence peers. You must be self-motivated.

Show me you are intelligent. I will ask you questions that are
designed to make you think. Show me you can. Don’t confuse intelligence
with education. I don’t care what kind of schooling you had, if you
can’t think, no job. If you can think, and aren’t educated, no problem
in my book, though I’ll probably look for more experience instead.

Show me how I fit into your vision. Truthfully, we’ll work best
together if you think this job is the best place for you to be right
now. I want to help you succeed in your career, let me.

Be highly skilled. Unfortunately, I don’t hire awesome people who
don’t have the right skill mix. But I do keep their information around
for when I need their skill mix. I also tend to recommend these people
to others who are hiring as strong candidates. The skill level required
to be hired depends on the job and expectations. Entry level can get
away with rough skill sets or classwork. Senior needs to be top of the
field, regardless of years in the workforce.

Be Passionate. If you are bored working in a similar job somewhere
else, you’ll be bored with me. Period. I don’t want any of that.

The End

Most of the stuff I am talking about here has nothing to do with Golem
Technologies, but more about what it is like to hire in the first place.
There are so many articles out there with bad advice for both those
hiring and those trying to be hired, I wanted to inject some raw honesty
into the equation. If you are looking to hire people, then I would
recommend you use my 5 points above to screen people. As for me hiring,
no, I am not currently hiring, so please don’t ask me. When I am hiring
though, and if you happen to apply, the above is the criteria I will use
to decide.

This is true across business functions and across companies. The people
who have the stuff I listed to win the interview will get jobs they want
consistently. If you are lacking something, then figure out a way to
get there. Just having a plan puts you ahead of 99% of job candidates. I
also like giving people a chance whenever they let me, as long as I
have the flexibility to do so. So far, I haven’t been disappointed.

Do you have hiring war stories (interviewer or interviewee)? Share them in the comments!