Below is Gerry's Premiership
football betting preview for the weekend Sat 26th to Mon 28th
August 2006.

The views expressed
are solely those of the author.

A Ferd in the hand is worth two on the box

Theres only one thing in life thats more enjoyable
than an evening with the wife and kids, and thats an
evening without the wife and kids. Whenever Im lucky
enough to be rid of the evil one and her two clones, I like
to relax in front of the box with a couple of lagers watching
quality television programming.

As the free-view doesnt kick off until 11:00pm, my programme
of choice is ideally football related and entertaining, thus
immediately ruling Soccer AM out of the equation. With the
exception of the imperious Jeff Stelling show on a Saturday
afternoon, other programmes struggle to match my demanding
criteria, so you can imagine my unconfined joy when news broke
that Rio Ferdinand was set to enter the world of light entertainment. His wind-up show was a disappointment, the sketch where he
murked the drug testers by forgetting to turn
up was left out, as was the one where he murked
the Man U board by refusing to sign a contract until their
wage offer rose from £100,000 to £110,000 a week.
I imagine the sketch where he was going to murk
Martin Jol by pretending to bid £18m for Michael Carrick
was pulled for being too unrealistic. Rio has been offered another bite at the TV cherry, the premise
being that Ferd and his crew will pimp up the
pads of .fellow millionaire professional footballers.
I literally can wait.

Talking of pimping, Wayne Rooney misses Uniteds match
against Watford due to the FA upholding a ridiculous ban for
a red card in a friendly. Rooneys agent hit back by
threatening to withhold Waynes image rights; I can only
guess that Rooney suggested upping the ante and
Stretford misunderstood. United have won their last six against
Watford, the Mancs are the weekend nap at 2/5. With Rooney banned, best pal Cristiano more dives than
Glasgow Ronaldo should be backed to net the opener.
Ronnies been priced up at 15/2, a price so big I almost
fell over.

Watford were absolutely robbed by the ref at Goodison Park,
theyre now playing Man U, theyll be lucky if theyre
awarded a throw in. Watford wont score, take 21/20 about
a United win coupled with a clean sheet.

Arsenal have treated Man City in recent years like Ben Thatcher
treats Pedro Mendes, theyve pounded on them unmercifully.
(Mendes is not the first person to be unable to work thanks
to Thatcher.) Arsenal have left Manchester with all three
points on their last eight visits, youve got to fancy
the Gunners at 8/11 to reach number nine. Someones going
to take a pommeling at the hands of the Wenger boys soon,
theres a decent chance itll be Thatchers
mob.

Blackburn players do enjoy a challenge. The wild Rovers had
two players sent off on the opening day, thats virtually
a friendly for Savage & co. Chelsea were turned over at
Ewood Park last season, a repeat is out of the question. A
wounded Chelsea are a great bet at 4/7 to make amends for
their Boro bashing.

I had my fingers burnt by Liverpool last week, but the Reds
can make amends at home to West Ham. Liverpools attacking
options were limited when Stevie G snatched the FA Cup from
the Hammers grasp in May, but now they have three quality
marksmen and Peter Crouch competing for a start. The Pool
should be backed at a healthy 1/2.

Fulham look a promising investment at home to Sheff U at 10/11.
Chris Colemans battlers won the same amount of home
matches as Manchester United last season, only a disastrous
campaign on the road ensured a 12th place finish. Im
a little worried about the Malbranque situation, Chris Coleman
appears to be cutting off his nose to spite his face; thats
only a good idea if youre Iain Dowie. If the Cottagers
come anywhere near replicating last seasons home form,
were venturing towards decent stake territory.

David OLearys lackadaisical attitude ensured the
Villa team rolled over and died away at Arsenal in a 5-0 defeat
just four months ago, yet under Martin ONeill, the same
group of players were able to fight like the wife when
the decorators visit to nick a commendable draw. The
Villa are worth a bet at 7/5 at home to Newcastle, simply
because of the ONeill factor.

Im a great believer in positive thinking. Theres
an old saying that I hold dear, If at first you dont
succeed, then Paul Jewell will probably buy you. You
shouldnt kick a dead dog, but I cant help but
feel that the signing of Heskey will prove disastrous for
Wigan. Reading have started the season well, theyre
worth a second look at 3/1 to leave the JJB with three points.

The acc of the week:

The accer this week is so certain, that even under extreme
torture it would refuse to budge.

Liverpool, Fulham, Tottenham,
Arsenal and Aston Villa are the good things, youre looking
at a payout of 17/1.

The weekend specials:

A little Camp? - Ivan Campo to score with a header
20/1

A professional Fowl - Robbie Fowler to score a
penalty 6/1

Bull's high - Jimmy Bullard to score with a header
14/1

A very dirty Vid - Mark Viduka to be sent off
20/1

The quote of the week:

Hes not intelligent.

Jose all tact Mourinho, when asked about Michael
Essien.

The lay man:

Sheff Utd are begging to be laid at 10/3 for their trip to
the Cottage, this is possibly how the expression easy
money originated. Help yourself at Betfair, Backandlay
or Betdaq.

Weekend Betting:

Liverpool v West Ham Saturday 26th August 12.45 Live on Premiership
Plus

Liverpool 1/2

Draw 10/3

West Ham 15/2

Get on: Liverpool

Match Special: Bellamy to score two or more goals 5/1

Charlton v Bolton Saturday 26th August 15.00

Charlton 6/4

Draw 9/4

Bolton 9/5

Get on: Draw

Match Special: Match to finish 1-1 11/2

Fulham v Sheff Utd Saturday 26th August 15.00

Fulham 10/11

Draw 9/4

Sheff Utd 3/1

Get on: Fulham

Match Special: Papa Bouba Diop to score with a header 10/1

Tottenham v Everton Saturday 26th August 15.00

Tottenham 4/5

Draw 12/5

Everton 4/1

Get on: Tottenham

Match Special: Berbatov and Keane both to score 13/2

Watford v Man Utd Saturday 26th August 15.00

Watford 15/2

Draw 10/3

Man Utd 2/5

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special: Ronaldo to score direct from a free-kick 8/1

Wigan v Reading Saturday 26th August 15.00

Wigan Evs

Draw 9/4

Reading 3/1

Get on: Reading

Match Special: Lita to score the only goal of the game 50/1

Man City v Arsenal Saturday 26th August 17.15 Live on Premiership
Plus