Letting Go

30.4.15

Ever since I was little, change has always been very hard for me. I always wanted things to stay how they were; forever.

By the times I was in second grade, change had come; hard. Both my grandparents had died (the only 2 I knew; I've never met my grandparents from my father's side), my two elder sister's had gotten married (they were like second mothers to me) and moved away, and then we moved from the only home I had ever known.

I found myself in an unknown world. We had left everything behind, and although we hadn't moved very far, (only about an hour away) it was hard for an 8 year-old to deal with so many changes at once.

I still held on very tightly to everything I had left behind, refusing to let go. My life changed a lot, for better or for worse.

Life has been fine for the past 4 years now, but I still wish all of these things hadn't happened. Little by little now, as I've gotten older and learned more, I've been releasing past memories from my grip and letting them roam free.

I still treasure the times when I was younger, but I just don't depend on old memories for dear life. I can tell you now, holding on to something relentlessly isn't going to make your life better. It's not going to change anything. You'll just be pining for something that won't come back.

Trust me, you'll feel so much more relieved and free once you accept that.

Change, change, change... When I was younger, I would often find myself surrounded by a tribe of people whom I each loved, but after some time that group would disperse. Every single time it's been hard on me, but you know, we just have to go on.