The grass is greener on the other side

My folks are pretty much an embodiment of the typical traditional middle income Chinese family in Singapore. I grew up in relative comfort (for the most part) with a roof over my head, three full meals a day, and an occasional treat. They were also pretty religious/superstitious and stopped celebrating my existence after I fell sick on both my first and second birthday party (can you imagine, no birthday cake for 15 years?!?!! D:).

Even when things at home got bad, it was kind of ok. Life was still good compared to many around the World.

Just that it felt like it wasn’t. It felt like there was unfinished business somewhere. Maybe it was because I got talked out of taking a gap year after my third year in university. Or maybe it’s something else. What’s certain though is the existence of a void that’s nagging at me not to settle. To continue trying and hope the dots connect. That the grass is greener on the other side. That I am like Lucy, whom i met after reading Luo er’s blog.

It started with advertising, which I left after becoming jaded with a work culture that made no sense. The job was helluva fun, but when it came to a point where I had to justify and convince myself that the input was worth the output, I knew it was time.

A MILLION JOB BRIEFS. ONE INTERN.

With the Odacians just before flying off for a trek in Surabaya

I then taught PE for almost a year at Anderson JC. It was great returning to AJ, in particular AJ ODAC, which played a very big part during my formative years. Fulfilling as things were (read about my experience here), it was the job’s stability that ultimately persuaded me to leave. Admittedly, I was being very selfish. I didn’t want to give up the best years of my life serving the community. Not yet at least. I needed to grow more as a person, to see and try more things.

And so here I am 2.5 months later, freelancing and working part-time to earn my keep while I jet around the world.

It is pretty scary to be on your own and traveling so much though. You give up on building a stable career and kind of press pause on most of your relationships. Freelancing is also a very irregular form of income despite it paying pretty well.

So then why? Because I know that I would regret for the rest of my life if I don’t take this step. And that I wouldn’t be able to have control of my time and pick up the things I’ve always wanted to learn. It takes a lot of self discipline of course, to follow a loose schedule so that I do not end up becoming a sloth (not that sloths are bad, but they just don’t do very much).

It remains to be seen how long this arrangement will last, but there are some big travel plans and freelance projects coming up that seem pretty exciting. [Skiing and meeting friends in Seoul, launching a new brand at my part-time job, and hopefully South America and the World Cup in June.]

For now, I can only hope and believe that the grass is indeed greener on this side.

p.s Just have to add this funny video about sloths cause they are so ridiculous. lol