First, allow me to apologize to all of you for blindsiding you with the title of this post, which has no doubt afflicted you with the “I am the Walrus” earworm, which you will have for the rest of the day.

Wait. I retract that apology and now re-extend it, but only to those of you who know who the Beatles were. (Are?)

OK, now I’m going to try to say what I actually intend to say. Honestly.

A month and change ago, I touched 174 pounds. Now I weigh 157 pounds. That’s a road bike’s worth of weight I’m no longer carrying around.

How did I do it? Easy. I have invented my own diet, consisting almost entirely of avocados atop fried egg whites.

Yes, really. And it’s working.

What I’m Doing

Basically, five or six (sometimes seven) times a day — whenever I start to get hungry, really — I make the following meal, which I will now walk you through, while simultaneously illustrating the process with glorious COLOR (yes, color!) photographs.

Step 1: I separate five eggs, with the whites going into a frying pan over a medium flame, and the yolks going into the trash.

I know, that seems like an awful lot of egg whites. And when you consider that I’m doing this five or six times per day, we’re looking at 25-30 eggs. Which seems nuts, and maybe it is. But it’s what I’m doing, and it’s working.

Step 2: I add a ridiculous amount of pepper.

Yes, this is really how much pepper I use. I use so much pepper that I’ve sustained a repetitive motion injury from all the pepper grinding.

I don’t add salt. I’ll get into why in a bit.

Step 3. Once the egg is ready, I flip it. By “ready,” I mean that I can l lift it with a spatula without raw egg white pouring all over the place. The underside will be browned just a bit.

The nice thing about flipping egg whites is that since there’s no yolk, you don’t have to worry about…breaking the yolk.

Step 4. Once flipped, I let the egg whites cook for about one more minute. That’s all it needs.

By the way, I wanted to take a moment to show off my awful frying pan handle:

The reason it looks like this is because I cut off the rubber gripping material. The reason I cut off the rubber gripping material is because whoever designed this pan forgot that there are gas stoves in the universe. Which is to say, as purchased from the store, this pan will sit on a flat surface just fine. But if you put it on a gas stove, the heavy handle makes it keel over.

Unless, of course, you make the handle less heavy.

With the rubber grippy stuff removed, the pan works just fine as long as you never ever touch the handle while cooking, because it is plenty-six thousand degrees hot.

Okay. Back to the narrative. Such as it is.

Here’s how the egg whites look, now cooked.

Kinda weird how similar in both pattern and color the eggs are to my countertop, huh?

Step 5. I slice up a quarter of an avocado and place it on top.

Ta-da. Breakfast! And brunch! And lunch! And mid-afternoon snack! And dinner! And late-night snack!

The Math — And Why This Works — of the Thing

That’s a lot of eggs, isn’t it? And a lot of avocado, too. But I’m losing weight, fast and — for the first time — easily.

How can that be?

The reasons are pretty easy and make a surprising amount of sense, actually.

First, egg whites have a ton of protein — 4 grams of it per egg, according to NutritionData.com. And no cholesterol. And basically no carbs.

And very few calories. Only 16 per egg.

As it turns out, the egg white is pretty much pure good-for-you protein.

So when I make myself five eggs, I’m getting 80 calories — about the same number as in a slice of bread — and 20 grams of protein.

That’s weight-loss gold right there, baby.

Of course, there’s a downside to all the egg whites: sodium. At 55mg of sodium per egg, I’m getting 275mg of sodium every time I make this meal. And since I’m doing this about five times per day, that’s 1375mg of sodium I’m taking in, before I put any salt (or salsa) on.

That’s like a whole can of Campbell’s Soup, for crying out loud.

Once I realized that egg whites have so much salt, I stopped putting salt on my eggs at all, and frankly don’t miss it. Even so, I’m drinking a ton of water (and exercising a lot) to flush all that sodium out.

[Important but mildly distasteful note: One thing I worried about when I started eating a ton of egg whites was that they would give me incredibly sulfurous, stinky farts. This hasn't happened. At least, they're no stinkier or sulfurous than usual. Cuz I think the part of egg that makes you have rotten egg farts is the yolk. However, I have no evidence of this, other than my own only-normally-stinky farts.]

Avocado to the Rescue

For the first day or two I was using egg whites as my primary diet food, I failed. A lot. That is, I’d start the day off well, and then sometime in the afternoon, I’d completely blow it and have a willpower implosion.

Once that happened, no food in the house was safe.

And I’d wind up not losing any weight for the day, even though I’d worked so hard for most of the day, then just slipped up toward the end. Tripped at the finish line, as it were.

So I started adding slices of avocado to my eggs. About a quarter of an avocado per “meal,” which means I’m eating about 1.5 avocados per day.

As you can see, avocados have some (not much) carbs, and they have quite a few calories. And those calories almost all come from fat.

But by adding the avocado, the egg tastes tons better. In fact, it goes from being an OK diet food to being something that I enjoy. As in, it’ll be a long time before I tire of it.

And — as important as the taste — the avocado makes this a relatively filling meal. I don’t find myself starving ten minutes after I eat, and I don’t have carbo-deprivation-induced feeding frenzies anywhere near as often.

So, let’s take a look at what this means, calorie-wise for the day, so far:

Seriously, I’m eating this meal five times per day, and only consuming around 900 calories doing it.

But What About Training? (AKA, What About Carbs?)

If I were totally faithful to this diet, I’d probably have lost weight a lot faster than I have. But honestly, I’m not super faithful to it, especially since while I’m doing this I’m also riding my bike a lot.

And for anything beyond a short ride, I need carbs. Or I’m going to bonk fast and hard.

So, when I’m about to head out riding, I eat a Fruition bar. Or half a PBJ sandwich. Or something else. And I’ve been riding well doing this.

For example, last Saturday, The Runner and I rode from our house in Alpine, Utah around West Mountain and back home: a 99.3-mile loop (both of us were surprised at how this wound up being very nearly an exact century, since we hadn’t planned it that way).

Then, the next day, we pre-ran most of the incredibly beautiful American Fork Half Marathon (10.5 miles of it). And of course, the weekend before, we did the Ogden Marathon.

During these big efforts, I’ve been eating energy food just like I always do, but starting to fuel up a little sooner.

No bonks.

I am noticing, however, that being ten pounds lighter makes a big difference on the bike, and an even bigger difference when running.

Also, I’m noticing that I have a new reason to look forward to long rides (and runs, I guess): these are the times I’m “allowed” to eat the carbs I love so much (and I do truly love carbs).

Then, once the workout’s done, it’s back to protein.

What’s Next

I am not a five-year-plan kind of guy. I know that I want to get down to 152 pounds by the end of June, then hold that weight ’til after the Leadville 100, during which I hope to finally finish in under nine hours.

But how will I integrate what I’m learning about diet (keep the protein up, use fats to control hunger, use carbs for endurance exercise) into my long-term eating plan? I’m not sure. I’ll probably stop being religious about the carbs, and will diversify out to other foods.

The thing is, though, when I’m making a concerted effort, I find it easiest to simplify my food as much as possible: I’m thinking in terms of fuel, not a delightful culinary experience. When it’s time to eat, I know what I’m going to get. I don’t have to think about it.

And since eating this way keeps me way below the number of calories I need to lose weight, I can eat as often as I want, or need.

So. This is working for now. In fact, it’s working so well, I just placed an order with Shimano. That Superfly 100 is going to be pretty sweet when decked out in the brand-new XTR.

Goo goo g’joob.

PS for folks who would like to win a Superfly 100: Just in case you didn’t read yesterday’s post and today’s post has you feeling a little bummed that you won’t win my Superfly 100, well, you should stop feeling bummed. You can still win my (other) brand-new Superfly 100. Just read yesterday’s post for details how the contest goes, then go donate. Thanks!

Inspired by your “Win My Awesome Bike if I don’t lose weight” contest, I have registered at Stickk.com to lose 25 pounds. You see, I was lean and mean last summer and then I had kid. Damn kid.

Anyway, every time I miss my weekly goal, the site runs my credit card for $25 and sends the money to the my personally selected “Anti-Charity.” For me, that’s the NRA – for you it might be something different.

The nice part about it is that my politically similar wife and friends don’t want me giving my money to the NRA either. They stop me from hitting the vending machine or getting an ice cream.

I agree with Adam. I think it’s great that you’ve found something that works for you, but egg yolks are incredibly nutritious. Throw in a variety of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats (you’re getting those with the avocado), and you’ve got a very healthy, cancer-fighting diet.

I don’t have your willpower. I’m not losing weight, but I am now eating much more healthy. I aim for colorful. :-) I’ll work on the weight, next.
I do in fact sometimes use a yolk instead of avocado, but for the most part, I prefer the flavor and texture of the avocado over the yolk. Personal preference thing. – FC

I’ll be interested to see if you continue getting faster as you lose more weight. My experience has been that I get slower when I get below 160. I was 161 when I did Leadville in 2009 and the same at Lotoja last year.

Yeah, I’ve noticed power drop-off when I get too light before. If I have the same problem again I’ll add a few pounds (but try to keep them lean pounds for once). – FC

I don’t know if you did it intentionally, or if you discovered it on your own, but you are following the paleo diet for athletes. http://amzn.to/iSnrIM I have the book, if you want to take a look at it. I’ve had mixed results.

And that’s a lot of time spent separating eggs. Wouldn’t some Egg Beaters Whites be easier?

I didn’t know about that book. Ha. Well, I just gave it to everyone for free, and did it in a blog post. Shorter! More efficient! Less filler text trying to take a 500-word idea and make a book out of it!

I should do a video of how fast I am at separating eggs now. You’d be astounded. Also, re: Egg Beaters Whites, cost savings comes into play. – FC

And what did the rest of the family eat after spending the entire food budget on eggs, avocado, and pepper. I believe you can freeze egg yolks, save them to make that Guinness Ice Cream for after Leadville.

MattC, since you have the address maybe you could send fatty some chickens. Did you know you can send chicks(the feathered kind) through the US Mail.

So…do you have ‘pacers’ for Leadville this year? Lance had pacers, I think you should as well. I’m sure many Fatty’s would turn put to pace the ‘Great One”.

I had to have a sit-down with the kids and tell them, “For the next month or more, I’m not going to be making nice dinners. You’ll be eating much more simply.” To my dismay, they were ecstatic. They enjoy PBJs a lot more than my cooking. Pffff.

That sound in the background? It’s the sound of ~900 chickens screaming.

Oh, I should’ve put in the article that once a day or so, I also have some chicken. Chicken breast, slathered with a honey-mustard sauce, baked at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. I make about a week’s worth at once. Chickens around the world are at this minute planning to storm my house. – FC

How do you keep the remainder of the avocado from browning up throughout the day? Or do you just power through the brown mush during your evening meal? I can never seem to keep it fresh for more than a couple of hours…

That’s a great question, and it took me a while to come up with a good solution.

When starting w/ a whole avocado, I cut it in half. Then I cut the half in half, giving me a quarter. I stick the quarter I am not going to use back to the avocado (it self-sticks pretty well), bag it, and put it in the fridge. That way, not much is exposed to the air.

Then, of course, next time you use the quarter you had already cut off. When you put the rest of the avocado back in the bag, press the plastic close to the avocado, and then rest it face down on the fridge shelf. That keeps very little of it exposed to air.

Can you fry egg whites in the microwave? I would consider this diet if I could prepare it at work – maybe I could use the hot plate of the coffee maker. I do eat egg whites in the morning and lunch usually consists of spinach and turkey salad. I have had success with it but as much or as quickly as I had hoped for. How long do you anticipate being able to keep to this diet plan?

I plan to transition from this diet plan to some degree pretty much immediately. I’m diversifying what I eat now.

As far as taking eggs to work, I actually make a couple helpings of this meal and put it in tupperware for The Runner to take with her to work. She warms it up in the microwave and it works great for her.

As far as cooking eggs in the microwave, I have no idea; I’ve never tried that. – FC

If you have some outdoor space, then maybe you want to buy yourself some chickens. I too eat a LOAD of eggs and ride a lot, so I eat every egg that comes out of my eight chickens, which is one per day. I do eat the yolks though. I agree with some responders that they too are healthy.

Fatty – i gotta say it man, that looks awful. I’ve heard the “nothing tastes as good as being thin feels” but this menu of yours is absolutely dreadful – what about veggies? other sources of protein? I’m impressed by your singularity of focus – but how you can eat that thing time after time, day after day, week after week….

Fatty,
I was wondering if you had twigged to the secret to weight loss. I would’ve said something earlier but feared retribution from those with skin in the game. When you weren’t losing weight, it sounded to my like you were starting to run a little insulin resistant. The cure is, of course, the paleo diet with your little tweak for exercising. I use quest bars (only if riding for more than an hour).

Gotta keep the yolks though. Good for everything in a body. Arteries, heart, skin, hair, all the organs, etc.

As for the farts, grains are the culprit. If you eliminated the cereals and grains, they would go away. My opinion is the brimstone comes from cycling, but this is only my guess. :)

Read this, liked all…except separating the yolks, I’m not that patient when fixing food. Now if there was to be Guinness Ice Cream then I could try.
Fatty could you see about getting that recipe from Dave T. ?
To a comment above…Yes a microwave will work fine, the only way I ‘cook’.
And I use a lot of pepper, cayenne, Tabasco sauce & mango salsa on everything.
Let me see…Fatty’s got the yolks, I’ll bring the Guinness, Dave T the recipe. Need a hand cranked ice cream maker, ice & salt and cream. Would make a better finish line reward stand than the hotdog guy’s for Leadville.

I agree on keeping it simple when dieting. I make four servings of oatmeal at a time, which I eat for breakfast every work day (steel-cut oats, water, walnuts, dried cranberries, spices and a little sugar). During the work week I bring a sweet potato for lunch. Stab it a couple of times with a fork, microwave for 5 minutes, eat with a spoon, right out of the skin. Dinner- I just try to avoid white carbs and not pig out, same for breakfast and lunch on the weekends. It has worked so far, I’m down 37 pounds since February 7 as of today.

Interesting . . . my doctor recommended I read the Paleo Diet for Athletes (or is that “Athaletes?”). Are you sure you’ve not seen a drop in performance on the bike? Have you really pushed it lately? I race on the road so I’m thinking I’ll wait until the season is over before I try it.

How were the quads after the AF Canyon run? I’m prepping myself for that race and want to know how much I should plan on suffering afterwards. I lost my 50 pounds doing roughly the same thing; 2 eggs, half cup of cottage cheese and a tomato. I find myself craving it now that I am in maintenance mode.

Fatty, or should we change that to “skinny”? We’re big fans here at CHEFS, we’re cyclists and foodies. Noticed, though, you need a new pan, son! This is exactly what you need . . . handles don’t get too hot and you can use it anywhere – nonstick too. I’m sending you one! You’ll get it next week! Hopefully, you’ll make something other than egg whites! Barb and your fans at CHEFS!

congrats on the weight loss. So, just tried it. Nice! I like the avocado on the egg. Peleo, Dukan, 17 day Diet all go towards that lovely thing called fat burning protein. Lost 5 lbs a week ago, until I went on vacation and ate my weight in almond croissants. I think those delectable things have carbs in them. Dang! Also, if you add a cut wedge of lime to the bag of avocado, the avocado won’t turn brown.

With the amount of eggs you are consuming you could cut back on trips to the store. Back yard portable chicken coop. I have ripe avocados on the table, if the chickens would just start laying eggs. Although I may be impatiently standing outside the coop waiting for them to lay eggs if I eat 25 a day!

I love eggs! Also, to make the eggs taste EVEN better, try adding some paprika and/or curry powder.

You know what makes another healthy and yummy snack? Avocados wrapped in turkey slices. Oscar Meyer has these turkey slices where 6 slices are only 50 calories. Yeah sure, they’re more sodium than your delicious egg whites…but maybe one of your five meals could include some turkey???

Anyway, have you considered using one of the free weightloss apps for the iPhone? Lose It! is good, and so is MyFitnessPal. As far as I am concerned, calorie counting is really the only way to effectively lose weight and keep it off.

We have a small flock of backyard chickens (aka family pets). We got them specifically so I had better tasting egg yolks to make better tasting ice cream.

One of my most requested flavors is Guinness Stout / Milk Chocolate ice cream. The recipe is in one of my favorite ice cream cookbooks called “The Perfect Scoop: Ice Creams, Sorbets, Granitas, and Sweet Accompaniments” by David Lebovitz.

Fatty, the chickens are a lot of fun. I’d be happy to help you build a backyard portable coop.

Paleo? Only if he’s eating the walrus too and I’m fairly certain that the lime in the diet coke doesn’t count for much. Fatty has merely exhibibited a penchant for fad dieting which sounds to me like it’s spiraling out of control. Too bad. Fatty, your journey over the past six years should have taught you better.

Thanks for the good scolding! I LOVE a good scolding! But let’s face it: if I learned lessons quickly, I’d never have needed to start this particular blog in the first place. – FC

You know Fatty, you replying to a lot of the comments gives your blog another dimension and makes reading it even more interesting. To make the experience even better though, there should be some way for readers to respond to comments and/or have a way to like or vote up comments which are the best. With dozens of comments on every post, these features would give readers an easier way to find interesting comments and the ones that you respond to.

Nice job on the weight loss by the way.

I agree; I’d like to add threading in my comments. I’m due for an overhaul of the comments system, and maybe it’s time to freshen the design up as well. – FC

I’ve never seen Fatty post this many comments to other comments. I like it.

Jake/Fatty, YES you can cook egg whites in the microwave. I did it just this morning as a matter of fact. I cooked them for a minute, stirred them up a little, cooked them about 45 seconds, stirred a little more and added some mushrooms and green peppers then added another minute or so and it was pretty darn tasty! Cooking times will vary based on power but it turned out much fluffier than I expected.

Nope! But allow me to tell you, Coco, that I am fascinated by the fact that you have been able to learn so many human signs. That is just astounding. Even more astounding, I’d say, than your apparent ability to type. By the way, you’re spelling your name wrong (and now I feel stupid for criticizing your typing when it’s REALLY AMAZING that you can type and even know silly, useless words like “nutritionist!”).- FC

i don’t know if its just me, but 99.3 miles? i don’t think i would be able to call it a day before riding the last .7 miles (or 1 kilometer for those like me that aren’t in the US)!!

I know, that drives some people crazy! But the thing is, we didn’t set out to ride 100 miles. We set out to do a certain route. We guessed that it would be about 96 miles, which was in fact a pretty good guess, since we were just working from memory.

While some people (a lot of people, actually, cuz I posed the question on Twitter) found the idea of not tacking on 0.7 miles to get to an even century horrible, for me it works the other way: Am I slave to my odometer? Do I add meaningless distance just to see an even number? Or do I cross the finish line I set (my driveway) at the beginning of the day and think about what an awesome ride I just had? – FC

Jake – Yes, you can cook eggs in the microwave. A gal at work showed me how. Scramble 2-3 eggs in a bowl and add a little milk (the eggs need more liquid or they get dry). Microwave for 1 minute. The eggs will fluff up. Mix up the eggs and microwave for another 30 seconds. If too moist, microwave more. I’m not sure if only egg whites will microwave differently, experiment.

@Bruno…I had the exact same thought re: 99.3 miles. Who does that?! Well done, Fatty (maybe we should do a “Brangelina” sort of thing and start referring to you as “Finny”?)

Another trick with avocado browning that I just picked up recently – keep the stone in (which it sounds like FC is doing?). I was skeptical, but it works!

Great post!

Yes, I keep the stone. I didn’t realize that contributed to the non-browniness of my avocado, though. I just did it that way because I’m lazy and put off separating the stone from the avocado until I have to. Very cool that now I can feel good about my laziness though! – FC

That is some wicked will-power you have. I’m a creature of habit and often eat the same things every day myself, but not for five meals in a row, day, after day, after day.

Eating the same thing all the time doesn’t bother me. I could eat a PBJ every day. Or every meal every day. Same thing goes with burritos. And, as it turns out, same thing goes w/ egg whites and avocados.

any non-snoring, non-smoking, extra fun-having fatties need a roomie for Davis? I get in late on Thursday, July 7th and leave late on Monday, July 11th. I have a reservation at the university park inn and suites if we need it, but I’m fine tagging onto your reservation too if you got a better deal or are staying closer or whatever.

e-mail me carlosgperea AT gmail DOT com.

Also looking for someone to share a cab with from Sacramento Airport on Thursday the 7th… I get in at 11:00pm PST.

I am currently down 22 lbs thanks to giving up the sugary brown goodness that is coca-cola classic, and putting lots of time in the saddle. Hopefully those missing 22 lbs will really help during 100 miles of nowhere tomorrow.

What a wonderful string of comments, and replies. Apparently the ‘Man’ never rests.(or works?)
My wife brought a new scale home recently. The box copy listed it as ‘extra robust’. Apparently that did not mean the numbers were easier to read. I think I’ll have to try this egg white adventure, Davis is a month away.

As for Davis, are we planning a group event? I still plan to bring pie.

wait… so you’re consuming less than 900 calories a day? or maybe 1100, considering the chicken you mentioned in the comments section… and riding every day? sure, starvation makes you lose weight, until your body starts eating itself, and holding on to every morsel of nutrition and fat it can possibly find. how’re your poops, with no veggies or fruit in the mix? yikes. good luck, buddy.

@Jake, I don’t know if anyone answered yet but eggwhites in the micro are so easy. Spray the bottom of a bowl with Pam first and be sure to cover the bowl with a papertowel — sometimes the egg whites explode. But 1-2 min works like a charm.

It sounds like “Extreme Atkins” by someone who doesn’t need much variety in food. There doesn’t seem to be any fiber in that diet, Fatty. Enquiring minds probably don’t want to know, but ask anyway: Doesn’t it make you, erm, ah, “retentive”?

Do you like salad? The diet would seem much healthier with a couple of nice bowls of fresh crisp greens every day, perhaps mixed with some crisp fresh radishes and some edamame? I can’t imagine they would add much to speak of in carbs if dressed simply with a little balsamic vinegar and a spritz of olive oil, and can be quick to make if the greens are pre-washed and kept in those green bags with a paper towel.

This may sound lectur-y, I apologize in advance. I’m a mom and I worry about teaching healthy food habits to my grade-school daughter. Her school regards stuff like Snackwell cookies and any kind of “trail bar” type bar, as healthy snacks. So I worry that if I were to relegate her to well-beloved PBJ sandwiches while I ate something like your diet, it would be modeling very poor food habits? Any thoughts there with regard to the twins?

Ok I admit it has grown on me, and I have lost a few pounds, but 5 times a day? No, no, I couldn’t do that. But vary it with some lean meat and veg’s for other meals and you will have success. Thanks for the recipe Fatty.

This is a great idea for a quick drop. I wanted to lose 17 pounds by the 25th when we leave for our San Juan hut trip so I went for it. I even used the motivation of saying I would donate to our hated in state school if I failed. The motivation is working so far, with 15 days left I have 9 pounds to go. I sense victory.