“The common thread in your two queries: Families need to talk about difficult topics; avoiding saying the word death will not make anyone immortal! When families are left to guess what a deceased loved one would have wanted, destructive family conflict is easy to descend into. People can overthink how hard it is to talk about wills and estate planning. If parents make plans that are not equal, but seem to them to be equitable, they need to say why. When things are left unsaid, the survivors will fill the vacuum by assigning motivation (and fault), and usually not in a positive way. In some ways, the funeral planning can be even more destructive than financial issues: there is little middle ground between cremation with ashes scattered in the ocean and a fancy tombstone in the family plot.”

“Some people can have these conversations with their families without any outside help. Some need outside help. Others can’t do anything while they are alive, but can bring themselves to leave a letter (handwritten is best) to the surviving spouse, children and grandchildren (personalized to each is best.)”

“I am always pleased when more families have a chance to become aware of options to prevent and resolve damaging conflicts.”

In regards to the Cost of Death, Shelby Forsythia, Intuitive Grief Guide and host of the podcast Coming Back: Conversations on Life After Loss, relayed, “the costs of death can be gathered into what I like to call “secondary losses”. These are the often invisible losses that follow death, things like loss of sleep, loss of focus, and loss of feeling safe in the world. Secondary losses are all of the dominos that fall as a result of a heartbreaking or world-changing death. To say they are costs is appropriate, because they literally take an irreversible toll on your head, heart, body, and wallet.

Grief impacts every area of our lives, so I’ll list out some common secondary losses/costs here that cover emotional, physical, and financial:

– loss of safety (this can apply to all three)

– loss of trust

– loss of connection or a deep relationship (if the person who died was your closest relationship)

– loss of control over emotions or a perceived “loss of mind” (many feel they’ve gone crazy after the death of a loved one because they feel so many things at once)

– loss of mental balance or ability to compartmentalize

– loss of sleep

– loss of appetite/loss of control over how much you eat

– loss of desire to exercise, go out, or see friends

– loss of health or worsening of preexisting health condition

– loss of stamina, energy, focus (feeling numb or “sapped” is common)

– loss of money from planning a memorial or funeral, traveling to attend services, or taking on inherited debt or dependents

Contact The Elephas Groupfor a free consultation from a Final Needs Planning expert today. We’ll work with you and your family to build an insurance plan best for your needs. For more questions about Final Needs Planning Program™ visit our website or contact one of our consultants at 1-800-661-8908.