Brazilians watch a reenactment of the Passion of Jesus Christ in Rio de Janero on Good Friday of this year. (AP/Felipe Dana)

Our story today starts with this truly horrible story, as reported by The Telegraph. An actor playing the role of Judas in a Brazillian staging of the Passion of the Christ died after accidentally hanging himself:

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Writer Ian Belknap has an, err, unique take on this terrible tale. "I say we stage a Passion of the Christ where EVERY member of the cast winds up dead," he says in this essay from The Paper Machete. He even goes so far (as if he could go any further) to suggest some possible actors who might be willing to take on the role. Perhaps unsurprisingly, James Franco makes an appearance. Read an excerpt below or listen above:

"I will set aside the fact that the copy editors wished to leave you with a bit of cultural context regarding the show. Because I realize that, like me, you read an item like this, you cock your head and go, 'Not to discount the fella that hung himself, but I sure would like to know a scosh more about significance of the Passion of Christ in the local culture.'

Here’s your real takeaway from this story, and here is the legacy of the late Mr. Klimeck. It is this:

But if he was just some lone genius – in that riveting way of like a Chris Klein or a Justin Long – then, okay. Then I would not feel like the U.S. supremacy in the realm of ultra-dazzling mastery of craft was threatened."

The Paper Machete is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It's always at 3 p.m., it's always on Saturday, and it's always free. Get all your The Paper Machete Radio Magazine needs filled here, or download the podcast from iTunes here.