From Struggles to Strength: How to Find Your True Purpose after Suffering

I have had many struggles and disappointments in my life, like you may have had. Nothing came easy, and I often wondered “Why me?”

I have suffered deep heartbreak, the loss of close loved ones, a number of surgeries, many years of trying to extend my family while dealing with infertility issues, and a few miscarriages along the way.

After 4 and a half years of trying, we finally had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Fast forward 2 years and we added a beautiful baby girl to our family… albeit 8 weeks early! Our daughter was born prematurely at 32 weeks gestation weighing just over 2 kilograms. It was a frightening time as no one from the hospital would comment on whether she would survive or not. They did, however, keep mentioning that if she did survive, she would most likely have learning difficulties, breathing difficulties and/or asthma. After a very tense 6 weeks in ICU (with me not leaving the hospital to remain by her side), our little girl came home without any health complications.

When our son was 2 years old and our daughter was 9 months old, we decided to have a relaxing family holiday in Vanuatu in the South Pacific. The first week there was amazingly blissful…. until our son almost drowned in the pool at the resort and had to be revived and flown back to Australia for treatment.

Thankfully, our son fully recovered (they say three in four drownings are fatal).

For some reason though, despite my own challenges, I always seemed to be the go-to person to lift the spirits of others when they were struggling. I always knew what to say to make them feel better and help them see the positive side of every situation.

The Catalyst for Change

A few years ago, my grandmother was unwell and was going downhill. We were preparing ourselves for the worst. It didn’t pan out as we had expected as my mum passed away shortly after, a few months before my grandmother (her mum). I had not prepared myself for this as I thought my mum was still young and had many years yet to live. My mum and I were very close and I told her everything. Suddenly, I had no one to call to confide in, to ask advice from, and to share her grandchildren’s milestones and achievements. When anything substantial happened in my life, both good and bad, I always picked up the phone and called my mum. Now I found myself picking up the phone only to put it back down again in the process of dialing.

For the first time ever, I thought of my own mortality. I knew that I hadn’t reached my full potential but did not know what first step to take and felt lost while simply ‘going through the motions’ of life. I wanted to reinvent myself and do something I was proud of before it was too late.

I decided I wanted to do more, be more and have more and set a good example for my children in the process.

How to change your story

To be honest, for a long time, I wasn’t happy with my life or with who I was. However, I am now a much better and happier person because of all of the pains and heartaches I’ve been through. Now I wouldn’t change a single ‘bad thing’ that happened in my life because it made me a stronger, nicer, compassionate, more resilient and determined person with a purpose, who likes and accepts who she is and loves helping others. Life is not easy but it is certainly worth fighting for as you have a say in your destiny. You can bring about change and help you to live a wonderful life full of love, joy, and amazing experiences.

As they say, ‘change your story, change your life’. I decided to no longer let my past experiences define me or hold me back. I wanted to reinvent myself and what was possible for me. I spent time thinking about ‘what would bring me joy?’, ‘what would make me proud?’, ‘what, beyond my wildest dreams, did I want to achieve?’

I now have a passion for personal development and this is helping me with every area of my life.

I am so thankful for the many wonderful experiences and blessings that have come into my life since then. I now not only have direction, desire, and passion but also love, a sense of purpose, and belonging; goals to achieve; a fondness for learning; immense curiosity; a zest for travel; a desire to experience new cultures and different cuisines; a sense of humor… and, most importantly, fulfillment!

Nikki Arnold JP is an Author, Speaker, Coach, and Director of ‘Inspired Living International’ which is based on the 19 Billion Dollar Industry within the Self Development Market Sector (just think of the phenomenon of ‘The Secret’ Movie and DVD).