Since the other two pilots have their own, I thought Rei deserved one too. Here goes!

It is Sunday afternoon. You are reading your biology textbook at the kitchen table. You are wearing your school uniform, although you do not see why clothes are necessary. It is the only outfit you own.

You gaze affectionately at your stuffed horse head, Commander Horse, who is placed on the kitchen table. He is wearing a party hat, as it is your anniversary.

You first encountered Commander Horse while participating in a school play. You were required to play the part of a horse, so you wore the head of the costume as often as possible, to fully immerse yourself in the role. You ate only carrots for a week, in order to fully understand the mentality of a horse. Eventually, love blossomed between you and the head, and you were unable to abandon it once the play ended. You christned it “Commander Horse” in honor of your favorite person at the time, Commander Ikari. You and the stuffed head have been inseperable ever since.

You hear a knock at the door. You wonder who it could be. You rarely have visitors. Ikari-kun came to your apartment once, and fell on top of you. It felt strange. Lately it has felt less strange when he touches you.

You answer the door. It is Soryu. Soryu is an Eva pilot as well. You are not certain you like Soryu. She is loud and angry, not kind like Ikari.

“Greetings,” you say.

“First, I’m staying here for a while, okay?” says Soryu, grimacing.

“I do not understand. Why?” you ask. This is very puzzling. You do not think Soryu favors you, although you a poor judge of such matters.

“I can’t live with the pervert and the slob anymore! I had to get away! The idiot saw my panties…look, it’s a long story, okay?”

“But…why here?” you ask.

“Because I don’t want to be a burden to Hikari. Look, don’t read too much into it,” says Soryu, averting her gaze.

You are unsure of what you are required to do or feel in this situation.

1) Kick her out2) Allow her to stay3) Hug Commander Horse and ignore her

He shuddered a bit, remembering the somewhat creepy level of detail Kaji had gone into, while rubbing a watermelon in a disturbingly sexual way.

Life is a continuous nut-kicking contest where your turn comes last if ever. -majlund

Seize the day.....by the throat....I hate mcdonalds because their mascot is a creepy spooky clown who looks like he smells funny. Seriously every time I see ronald I think he's secretly some sort of rapist who turns people into hamburgers. Also their food sucks. -DefectronOur plumbing is messed up and my dad will not call anybody because he's a cheap asshole. Fuck you old man, fucking call someone. Some of us want to stay sanitary. -backseatjesus

Also, way to blend ideas from the crazy new manga, the series, and a hentai doujin.

... but yeah, #3

Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

You decide to ignore Soryu and hug Commander Horse. You take him down from the table and hold him tightly, not wanting to let him go. Commander Horse does not approve of Soryu.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” shouts Soryu, waving her hands in front of you. “What the hell is that thing, anyway? It’s creepy!”

You are somewhat annoyed. “This is Commander Horse. He is not a mere thing. He is my dearest friend,” you explain patiently.

Soryu rolls her eyes. “Jeez, and I thought you were weird before.”

Weird? You do not understand. You continue holding Commander Horse and stare at the opposite wall.

After a considerable silence, Soryu begins to speak. Soryu often speaks, you’ve noticed.

“Hey, I haven’t eaten anything yet,” she says. “What’s for dinner? By the way, nice place you’ve got here. Not.”

You think for a moment. Dinner?

“Usually, I merely consume the pills which Dr. Akagi gives me. I do not eat standard food unless with the Commander,” you say. “I do possess three water heaters, however. I call them Unit 00, Unit 01, and Unit 02.”

Soryu frowns. “C’mon First, we’re going to buy you some real food!” she says, grabbing your arm. Second seems to feel sorry for you, though you cannot say why.

You walk arm-in-arm with Soryu, deciding not to resist. You are rarely out this late. There are many people. Why are there so many? They seem unneccessary.

Soryu takes you to a ramen stand. You order a bowl of miso soup. You and Soryu sit across from each other at a picnic table and eat. You think about biology, not noticing that Soryu is growing impatient with your silence.

Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

Three. One could only imagine what would go through poor Asuka's mind.

Seize the day.....by the throat....I hate mcdonalds because their mascot is a creepy spooky clown who looks like he smells funny. Seriously every time I see ronald I think he's secretly some sort of rapist who turns people into hamburgers. Also their food sucks. -DefectronOur plumbing is messed up and my dad will not call anybody because he's a cheap asshole. Fuck you old man, fucking call someone. Some of us want to stay sanitary. -backseatjesus

You see Soryu lift her leg into the air, and feel something hard slam against your face, presumably her foot. When you regain consciousness, both Soryu and your wallet are gone. Your mouth tastes like blood. There is spittle on your shirt, probably your own. You are covered in bruises; she must have kicked you additionally after you were knocked out.

You call the Commander on your cell phone. It is most unfortunate that you have lost your wallet. A few minutes pass, and the Commander’s limo pulls up to the curb.

You see the Commander roll down his dark-tinted window and throw down a bag full of yen notes. “Make good use of this money, Rei. I’ve just bankrupted Canada,” he says. The limo then drives away, making a hasty U-turn.

You count the money in the bag. There appear to be several million yen therein. You decide to spend some on horse paraphernalia and stuff the rest in your mattress.

You see an old man working at the ramen stand, holding a ladle. There is a visor where his eyes should be. The Commander has spoken to you about the Instrumentality Committee. You realize that this man must be its elusive head, Kiel Lorenz. However, horse paraphernalia takes precedence. You cannot investigate at the moment.

You enter the mall, carrying your oversized sack of money, ignoring the stares. You are overwhelmed by the bright lights and crowds, but continue anyway. You buy a horse keychain, a horse figurine, and a horse head somewhat smaller than Commander Horse, which you decide to call Sub-Commander Pony. You are not sure what to do now.

1) Return home.2) Buy a present for Ikari-kun.3) Enter a movie house. You have been told that there are moving pictures therein.4) Investigate Kiel’s ramen stand.

He shuddered a bit, remembering the somewhat creepy level of detail Kaji had gone into, while rubbing a watermelon in a disturbingly sexual way.

Life is a continuous nut-kicking contest where your turn comes last if ever. -majlund

Definitely investigate the ramen stand, if only to see whose flavor they have this week. Keep your fingers crossed it isn't wrinkly old sensei.

Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno

Seize the day.....by the throat....I hate mcdonalds because their mascot is a creepy spooky clown who looks like he smells funny. Seriously every time I see ronald I think he's secretly some sort of rapist who turns people into hamburgers. Also their food sucks. -DefectronOur plumbing is messed up and my dad will not call anybody because he's a cheap asshole. Fuck you old man, fucking call someone. Some of us want to stay sanitary. -backseatjesus

You decide to give Sub-Commander Pony to Ikari-kun. Horse heads make you feel warm. Perhaps if you give him a horse head, he can feel nice and warm as well. You hope that you are correct in your assumption that people enjoy receiving presents.

You head towards Lt. Colonel Katsuragi’s apartment. A stranger offers you a free ride in his van. Normally you would accept such a kind offer, but tonight you have a mission, so you politely decline. You enter the apartment complex and ring the appropriate doorbell.

The Lt. Colonel answers the door, hiccuping. She is dressed in shorts and a tank top, as usual. Like you, the Lt. Colonel does not see the necessity of clothing. Her eyes widen when she sees you, though you are not sure why. Is it unusual to be about carrying a sack of money and horse paraphernalia while bleeding from your lip? You are not certain. You shall have to ask the Commander.

The Lt. Colonel smilingly invites you in, looking slightly ill at ease. She asks what she can do for you.

“Is Ikari-kun present?” you ask.

The Lt. Colonel calls Ikari-kun, teasingly saying that his girlfriend is here to ask him out on a date. Once again, you are puzzled at the strange behavior of the people around you. Is delivering horse paraphernalia a part of courtship? You wonder if you will be expected to engage in salva-exchange rituals with Ikari-kun now.

Ikari-kun emerges from his room in casual dress, wearing a blue shirt. He pulls his S-Dat player’s buds from his ears and blushingly tells the Lt. Colonel to cease her harassment.

He smiles warmly at you, but seems troubled by your bedraggled appearance. He offers to moisten a cloth for your lip. You protest that Dr. Akagi can replace your lips as needed, but he proceeds to do so anyway. You take the cloth and dab at your lip, blushing.

“Er…what happened to you, Ayanami?” Ikari-kun asks. “I-I’m worried.”

“Soryu knocked me unconscious after I indicated an attraction to her,” you reply.

Shinji stares at you blankly for a moment, then changes the subject, refusing to acknowledge the implications of your remark.

“So um…Asuka was with you?”

“Yes. She expressed a desire to move into my apartment, stating that you were a pervert. She is upset that you have seen her panties. I do not understand why.”

“Um…it’s complicated. I guess I’ll make her some octopus sausage for lunch tomorrow, to try to make it up to her. Asuka really likes those. She’s pretty childish, huh?”

You reply that you have never had a childhood, so you cannot say for certain.

“Uh…so what brings you here, Ayanami? I mean…you can come whenever you want to.”

You smile, with some effort. You do not often use those muscles. “I have brought you a gift. It is a stuffed horse head.” You reach into your bag of money and horse paraphernalia and remove Sub-Commander Pony. Ikari-kun takes the small horse head. He smiles nervously.

“You must greet Sub-Commander Pony, Ikari-kun,” you say earnestly.

“Um…h-hi, Sub-Commander Pony,” Ikari-kun says, giggling.

Content to have brought more horse heads into Ikari-kun’s life, you rise to leave. The Lt. Colonel puts a hand on your shoulder, stating that you should first have a shower and a change of clothes, as your appearance is rather the worse for wear after your encounter with Soryu.

You reluctantly agree. The Lt. Colonel lends you one of Soryu’s school uniforms. You take a cold shower, as usual, and then proceed to change clothes in the kitchen, removing your towel. Ikari-kun averts his eyes, blood trickling from his nose. The Lt. Colonel patiently explains the circumstances in which nudity is and is not appropriate. You choose to make note of them for future use.

You decide to

1) Stay at the Lt. Colonel’s apartment for the time being2) Return home and attempt to reconcile with Soryu, assuming she is still present3) Pay a visit to the Commander4) Stand in a corner with a lampshade on your head

Last edited by Lucretius on Sat Aug 14, 2010 11:44 am, edited 4 times in total.

He shuddered a bit, remembering the somewhat creepy level of detail Kaji had gone into, while rubbing a watermelon in a disturbingly sexual way.

Life is a continuous nut-kicking contest where your turn comes last if ever. -majlund