There’s no City Council meeting tonight because of school vacation, so to get your fix of crazy city politics here’s this guy from Charlotte, NC.

I know that last week’s meeting was a goldmine with cops, outbursts from the gallery and talks about hunting and barbecuing the geese in Worcester’s parks, and that it would be greedy of me to ask for another meeting so entertaining so soon, but no one has yet involved John Walsh of America’s Most Wanted and John Edwards in city conspiracies regarding helicopters and the ice in the local arena.

Something needs to be done about choppers in worcester. They don’t leave droppings, but they are making the geese REALLY paranoid.

They deffinately are catching on and I’m wondering whether it is a conspiracy to drive off a delicious food source. You think they don’t know WHAT YOU HELICOPTERS ARE UP TO!

You just want them all to yourself DON’T YOU?!
You probably have trained snipers just dropping those treats right outta the sky and a whole bunch of g-men to collect the carcasses for deep freezing in preparation for they 4th of july-IN YOUR SECRET BARBECUE UNDERNEATH NORAD!

I’m on to you…I know there is a skull dropping, teenage fight overseeing, Honey Farms occupying, secret geese chasing UNDERWORLD trying to take over Tatnuck AND CENTRAL MASSACHUSETTS!
Oh…I’ve said too much. Beware
I KNOW YOU DAMN HEALTHY PEOPLE AREN’T JUST “jogging” or “hiking”-who the hell does that anymore-WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF PARAMILITARY COUP!? HUH!!?!! What kind of criminals under age 18 just “hang out” at a shopping plaza. There’s a pattern
-Teenagers getting into fights

-Physically active people(probably just feinding for your next 50 piece or a sack of smack). Everybody knows only druggies sweat and breathe that much. Your bones get stronger, you develope super human strength, eyes like a cat, balance of an iron worker fifty stories up. Just chase’n the dragon you crazy diamonds.

-Skulls…SKUUUULLS! NEED I SAY MORE?
Come on, A SKULL! Probably something to do with that guy that gave me a funny look when I commented on his over grown lawn. YOU CAN’T HIDE BEHIND THE TALL GRASS NOW! Sonofabitch, I knew someone stole my key chain Swiss Army knife…sick twisted bastard.

-Finally, choppers corralling and sniping geese before we can sneek up to them! Tricky areonautical geese violating cloud dancers.You wanton strumpets of the skies, you.