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Saturday, July 30, 2011

I have to say that I am learning to be comfortable with my life, just as it is. I can't say I am a huge fan of medical school, and I can't say that I like being constantly broke. There are a lot of things that I can't say. I am not at all sure I care for the days that the littles fight constantly. I can't say I like it when I struggle with my moods either.

I can say a lot of other things though. I can say that I absolutely love my husband and my children are like wearing my heart outside my body (got that from you Shawna). I can say that though money is the tightest it has ever been for me, I am very happy right now. I can say that each new word from both girls makes me smile, that watching V toddle around brings joy to my heart, or that hearing L run around and giggle makes me smile in happiness.

Life has a way of happening someone once said. You can enjoy the ride or try to get off. The problem with getting off, is that it is danged dangerous and you might not like where you are. I may not have absolutely chosen to be a med spouse, or to be this broke. I am glad it is my life though. I am learning lessons each day. I am learning to appreciate what I have rather than what I don't. I am learning to like what I have rather than wishing for something I don't have. Each day I am learning to just accept my life.

This is a time in my life where God is carrying me rather than just holding my hand. He is holding me tight and bringing me through the tough spots with my sanity intact. He is teaching me that he can handle it all if I just give it to him. Why do I need worry about something when he can take care of it all and since he always has before why worry now.

My gratitude goes to God for teaching me to accept and give it all to him. Let him worry about everything and for me to just enjoy the life and time he has given me.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I finally learned the purl stitch. When I first tried to, right after I learned the knit stitch, it seems so complicated but tonight when I watched the video and tried it.. It seemed so easy. So I started a stockinette stitch scarf, likely will get pulled out due to errors, but I am learned the purl still. I want to work on the scarf until the purl stitch becomes as easy to me as the knit stitch is.

I began working on a baby blanket that at this stage I intend to use only the knit stitch for all the way through and I am using circular needles for the first time. I will update you on how that goes.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I have found a new something to love. Knitting. I have taught myself how to. It is still very basic but I am doing it. I can't wait until I can make stuff like hats, socks, sweater etc. I like my hobbies to be useful to my family. I love sewing too, but for some reason the sewing machine can annoy me fast.. Is that weird...Anyhoo

I have learned how to make swatches, and how to make a scarf.. My first project was a scarf, though I did pull it out since it was so jacked up it was hard to follow once I got better... So.. Right now I am learning how to work with circular needles making a baby blanket.. Wish me luck!!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

It has been a while since I wrote. Things got insane here. Overwhelming is more the word. Too overwhelming. Money is still very tight, but we have hopes that money will be coming in soon. We have been waiting to find out if hubby would pass the test and if we would continue our life as we know or if change was in the air.

Life has also been tough just in general, my brother was sick. I have been in a funk. A long standing can't pull out of funk. I don't know how it go so tough. How did I get into a funk where nothing an no one could pull me out of it. I don't like that. I tried my best to pull myself up by the bootstraps but to no avail. I would just sink back down in the mire. I was just in a funk. I won't say I was depressed because that is not the right word. Just scared I think.

So the results are in... Honey Passed.. We will continue our life as we know it. The relief in this house is palpable. We are almost euphoric. I am so happy and so proud of my dear honey. I knew he could do it, yet was afraid to hope. Does that make sense. I decided sometime in the last couple of weeks before getting the results to stop being negative and just believe as I usually do. Believe in him.

So... he is off to a new rotation and is feeling positive about himself. I am so glad. I love that man so very much and it has been hard to see how all this has affected him.

For all those that have prayed. Thank you so very much.. and in writing.. Thank you Holy Father for making this happen.