Over the past several months of my grief journey I've walked through phases of intense emotions, phases of hibernating and nursing the wound, and most recently a phase of trying to pick up the pieces and get on with my life. But, even in this phase, I have to acknowledge the wound is still there. I wish it was as simple as pretending it's not there or ignoring it and it will go away. It doesn't. However, that doesn't mean there's nothing I can do about it. As with any wound, tending and caring for it is a healthy thing to do. My first aid prescription for the wound always includes quietness, stillness, and the soothing, gentle, strength-renewing love of God.

Over the last 21 years, after experiencing the premature death of our precious daughter, Victoria, I have counseled so many suffering from grief—especially those suffering the inexplicable pain that comes from losing a child—that you can't let anyone dictate how or how long you grieve, including you. And you can't set up expectations for yourself or your husband that meet some Western textbook version of grief.

You will be up and down for some time. Memories will catch you unprepared and tear open the wound. Jealousy and envy will sneak up and snag you. Why's and what ifs will niggle at your conscience. One of the worst things you can do is entertain those why's and what ifs, but you need to cut yourself some slack in the other areas. Sometimes it is as basic as willing yourself to get out of bed, get dressed and get through that day of life. Some days you'll feel as if you're moving forward well, and then you take backward steps.

Does the wound ever go away? No. Does it bleed less often? Yes. As you age, do you look forward more to the time you'll be reunited with your child? Absolutely! (I think it's one of the big perks of growing older, but maybe I'm a little morbid.)

Yes, tend to your wound and give it just the right prescription for you! Such a perfect way to describe it!

Blessings,

Andrea Arthur Owan
https://brokenheartsredeemed.blogspot.com

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Sara Faith Nelson

Sharing the journey, because, I find there are so many others making the trek through life without a loved onewe expected to be​with us always. A reminder that we are not alone, and we can survive and thrive!

Dedicated toJeanette Marie, my very wonderful daughter and the sunshine of my life. 1978-2014