9 Ways To Look Thinner Without Losing Weight

Whether you call yourself chunky, hefty, husky, big-boned, or just plain fat, you still want to look good, right? Right. Now, what you wear won't help you get thinner — unless it's a rubber suit and you do a few laps in a sauna — but what you wear can help you look thinner. (And while you're at it, make some healthy (but delicious) food and get some exercise.) We asked some people who help dress large dudes for some tips on how to look thinner without going on a celery diet, and these are the tips they gave us.

1. Choose Your Patterns Wisely

Vertical lines draw people's eyes up and down, which will make you look taller by emphasizing length. Horizontal lines do the opposite. (Sorry, this does not mean drawing a checkerboard pattern on your schlong will make it look both longer and thicker.) Also, avoid clothing with large prints or patterns; they tend to make people look heavier.

2. Buy The Size That Fits

If that's an XXXL, so be it — shoehorning your way into a smaller size won't make you look good. However, also make sure you don't go too baggy. Men tend to wear clothes that are too big, and in addition, bigger guys may think loose clothing hides their girth. But it doesn't — it emphasizes it. So wear whatever fits best, and be a big guy who dresses well instead of a big guy in a T-shirt tent.