How To Find Your Life’s Direction

In the past you’ve likely just picked your goal and then made it happen.

You’re smart.

Creative.

Good at seeing the pieces of the puzzle others don’t.

But if you’re anything like a number of movers and shakers who find themselves asking about their life’s direction, you know there is something more you should be doing.

Something calling you forward.

To do….. *something*.

The problem is, you just don’t know what.

And there’s the kicker.

All this ambition. All this talent.But no clear idea of how or where to channel it.

The result?

You feel scattered. Uncertain.

And maybe even sometimes a little adrift and aimless.

The Answer Doesn’t Lie In Finding Your Purpose

I get it.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a ton of talent and inspiration bursting from within you… but not really knowing what direction to point it in.

In fact, the most commonly asked question in a recent pre-training survey for ISF was, “How can I find my direction?”

If this is holding you back, you are not alone.

In my line of work as a soulful business coach, I often get asked the question, “How do I find my purpose?”

It’s a sensible question.

After all, if you know what you’re meant to be doing with your life, it takes away the uncertainty. You’re suddenly back in the driver’s seat. You have more control… Well, at least more of the illusion of control ;)

The truth is though, so many folks waste years and years of good productive time, energy and resources trying to search out their purpose… Time they could be spending building their careers, or their own businesses.

But this idea of purpose is all pervasive. We’re bombarded by self-help books, podcasts, trainings, and blog posts, telling us,“Find your purpose!”… Like it’s a treasure you have to find, and the reward is never-ending success and riches!

But the more I see of this, the more I’m convinced that our purpose isn’t something we need to dig out.

And that’s big.

If you look at any of the work I do with folks, I’m ALL about digging into the inner game, uprooting the limiting beliefs and delving into the depths of our souls on a mission of self-discovery.

But doing this in the hope of finding that nugget of understanding that will finally get us moving, and living the dream… Well, I’ve never seen it happen like that. Not for me. Not for my clients. Not for anyone who has bumped up against my material and experienced a significant shift in their lives.

Your purpose isn’t a THING to be discovered.

It’s not one calling, or vocation. And it’s not going to help you make the shift from the meanderings you’re currently dealing with.

I know this is tough to read.

But stay with me.

There’s more…

From Fixed Points To Actions

The illusionary “purpose” most people are chasing is the equivalent of a fixed point.

A fixed point that doesn’t even exist. There is no blackboard in the sky that says “John’s purpose is to…..” or “Mary has incarnated to…..”

There can’t be.

Because you have free-will.

Now, in retrospect, you can look back and see the significant decisions and events and weave them into a meaningful story where a driving force or “purpose” becomes apparent… But from there you’re working off far more information. It’s not the same as the “purpose” that you have to hunt down and discover.

What’s more… a fixed point is static. It doesn’t change, or evolve.

Can you imagine setting out in the world as a young adult and having a purpose that stays the same for all of your life? What, some 70-80 years? To have a purpose that encompassing means that it has to be so broad as to be positively useless.

And that’s where folks come up with purposes like:

“My purpose is to help children.”

“My purpose is to live in joy.”

These concepts may well be true for you. But how does it help you craft a life? How can you design your next action steps? Or make decisions in how you’re going to live?

We Need To Start From Another Point

The reason you most likely want to discover your purpose is so that you have a compass. A something where you should put your focus, and a way you assign your talents to the world. How you make your mark. You want a way of understanding your place in the world, and doing something that means something. Something that help define who you are, why you’re here and what it’s all about.

You want it to give your life a meaning.

So let’s start from that point.

The “How” of Purpose:

Why not start by choosing your own meaning? You have freewill. You have some data from your past. If you need to define things, then why not define yourself based on these parameters. CHOOSE something that is important to you, that fires you up, that ignites your soul… And then assign your own meaning to your life by aligning with that. Isn’t this more meaningful than waiting for your subconscious to latch onto a thread thrown out by someone else from a course, or the people you hang around with? Be aware about attaching to whatever you come up with… as Oscar Wilde so eloquently described: to define is to limit.

Make your purpose something that you do. Not something that binds you. I like to tell my clients: “Awesomeness is defined by what you do.” It’s no good having a written statement of a purpose, which is something you get to someday.

And while we’re on “someday” – a purpose isn’t a destination. It’s something that you embody every day. Something that you use to drive you forward, something that you live with every breath. If you’re not living it, you’re on autopilot or you’re in avoidance. Be real with yourself. You’re not here to just exist. You’re here to live.Ask yourself: Are you really living?

Start with where you are. Work on what you know about yourself right now, and do things in alignment with that. So often I do strategy sessions with folks who are stuck in their heads, trying to see what the end goal is before they even take a first step and engage with their market. In reality they’re putting off getting going. Getting going and doing something (anything!) is often the most productive thing you can do. Once you start, whatever the project, you can course-correct. If you do this, you immediately start gathering information and getting feedback on the tangibles. You’ll also learn precisely how you feel about what you’re doing. From there you’re in a position of power. You can adjust what you do, and incorporate more of the stuff that lights you up. From standing, you have nothing to go off of. Get going, and get some data!

Remember, a purpose is dynamic. It changes as you evolve. It becomes more sophisticated, and clearer to you. As this happens you become more capable of making decisions. Bold choices. Taking steps that change your destiny, and the destiny of others around you. As you step into this new way of being, you’ll know the instant you are off course. You start to adjust your sails sooner. You develop an awareness for when you’re living in alignment of everything that you stand for. You understand when you need to push forward, and when you need to let go and let be. Here you slip into your natural FLOW.

As you do this, you’ll start to see threads. Threads that weave into something that has meaning… which is really what you’re looking for. Meaning that then drives your next steps and your decisions. It drives the stories you tell about yourself, to others. To yourself. But look how this started… by you picking a meaning as a starting point. See how this builds and expands in an ever-increasing cycle? Can you see how you’re no longer searching for a random, meaningless fixed point?

The bottom line: The search to discover your purpose is no longer an excuse to keep you from living now. Your purpose comes from doing things… always. There is no destination. Your ultimate destination is the same no matter who you are — your grave. The only question is, what kind of journey are YOU going to have before you get there?