“Kill our way out of this mess” is the theme of every American movie not
about talking animals or weddings.

Aside from talking points, Mitt doesn't know his Assad from a hole in
the ground.

Mitt, you do know that most of America thinks Mali is one of Obama's
daughters, right?

It's good they agree armed Americans should be involved with everyone,
everywhere. We loved armed intervention like Paula Dean loves butter.

Aside from talking points, Mitt doesn't know his Assad from a hole in
the ground

Mitt's entire debate strategy: What he just said, but from a white guy.

That's an amazingly specific number Mitt keeps pulling out of his ass,
12 million new jobs. But fellas, this is the foreign policy debate!

Jobs, teachers, education - gentlemen, please, can we get back to
killing foreigners?

Bob Scheiffer, could you ask about what's IN the military budget? If
people knew specifics,”I wouldn't cut nuttin'” wouldn't sound so good

I like hearing Mitt say how great he was for Massachusetts, the state
that will never, ever, ever vote for him.

I can't be the only one who's surprised to find out Buster Posey is a
white guy. Sorry, flipped to the game.

I've seen wider ideological differences between Jehovah's Witnesses.

Oh no he din't- Romney said his ultimate BubbleFact, “Apology Tour”
right in front of the guy who NEVER WENT ON ONE.

To clarify, Mitt is for moving heaven and earth, but only in regards to
mining.

You're losing, Mitt- bring up the fact that we have fewer knives and
rocks than we did during the French and Indian War.

Shorter version of Romney: Me strong. Obama weak. Hulk smash.

OK Mitt, one more try: we have fewer catapults and barrels of boiling
oil than we had in the crusades.

First debate, all agreed, Obama lost; second one, i say he won, but
Romney not trounced. But this one? Only bubbledwellers can say Mitt won

Mitt keeps taking issue with being criticized tonight - did they tell
him this is a debate?

OK, one last try: We have fewer Andrews Sisters and Ritz Brothers than
we did in 1944. So glad we're done with THAT!

---------

Wonkette:

“The audience has taken a vow of silence.” But not celibacy, one hopes.

We are debating during the 50th anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
This is very important, because we are painfully aware that neither of
these men is a Jack Kennedy.

Cutting Obamacare, which the CBO has projected will reduce the deficit,
will save money, because MAGIC.

Mitt is in favor of crippling sanctions like the ones Barry has put in
place. If elected, he will have the Doctor take him back to the Bush
administration to put them in place sooner, and more crippling-er.

Mittens, again with the “tumult.” Why does it sound like Yiddish when he
says “tumult”?

You know all about shipping jobs overseas, don’t you Governor? BOOM!

Mitt is pretending that he can feel empathy... Brent Spiner pulled this
off a lot more convincingly.

---------

Various fact checkers:

Politifact rated the claim that the U.S. Navy, U.S. Air Force are
smaller than in 1917 and 1947 “pants on fire.”

Romney wants to add $2 trillion to defense that it didn't ask for it.
True.

Obama 'promised' 5.4 percent unemployment? Mostly False.

---------

The Onion:

Romney Pledges To Replace All Foreign Policy With Jobs Right Here In
America

...when "satire" in The Onion
is about the only honest, objective view you'll get of this abysmal
situation.

Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How ColoradoShooting's Aftermath Will
Play Out

(The Onion, July 20, 2012)

WASHINGTON-Americans across the nation confirmed today that,
unfortunately, due to their extreme familiarity with the type of tragedy
that occurred in a Colorado movie theater last night, they sadly know
exactly how the events following the horrific shooting of 12 people will
unfold.

While admitting they "absolutely hate" the fact they have this
knowledge, the nation's 300 million citizens told reporters they can
pinpoint down to the hour when the first candlelight vigil will be held,
roughly how many people will attend, how many times the county sheriff
will address the media in the coming weeks, and when the town-wide
memorial service will be held.

Additionally, sources nationwide took no pleasure in confirming that
some sort of video recording, written material, or disturbing
photographs made by the shooter will be surfacing in about an hour or
two.

"I hate to say it, but we as Americans are basically experts at this
kind of thing by now,” said 45-year-old market analyst Jared Gerson,
adding that the number of media images of Aurora, CO citizens crying and
looking shocked is “pretty much right in line with where it usually is
at this point." "The calls not to politicize the tragedy should be
starting in an hour, but by 1:30 p.m. tomorrow the issue will have been
politicized. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the shooter's high school
classmate is interviewed within 45 minutes."

"It's like clockwork," said Gerson, who sighed, shook his head, and
walked away.

According to the nation's citizenry, calls for a mature, thoughtful
debate about the role of guns in American society started right on time,
and should persist throughout the next week or so. However, the populace
noted, the debate will soon spiral out of control and ultimately lead to
nothing of any substance, a fact Americans everywhere acknowledged they
felt "absolutely horrible" to be aware of.

With scalpel-like precision, the American populace then went on to
predict, to the minute, how long it will take for the media to swarm
Aurora, CO, how long it will take for them to leave, and exactly when
questions will be raised as to whether or not violence in movies and
video games had something to do with the act.

The nation's citizens also confirmed that, any time now, some religious
figure or cable news personality will say something unbelievably
insensitive about the tragic shooting.

"Unfortunately, I've been through this a lot, and I pretty much have it
down to a science when President Obama will visit Colorado, when he will
meet with the families of those who lost loved ones, and when he will
give his big speech that people will call 'unifying' and 'very
presidential,'" Jacksonville resident Amy Brennen, 32, said, speaking
for every other person in the country. "Nothing really surprises me when
it comes to this kind of thing anymore. And that makes me feel terrible."

"Oh, and here's another thing I hate I know," Brennen continued, "In
exactly two weeks this will all be over and it will be like it never
happened."