Tuesday, June 24, 2008

It's that time of the year again... and everyone in the Knopf household can not wait! We leave on Saturday for a week at the beach! On Monday, Ben's birthfamily will join us at the beach house for our 6th annual Family Vacation! I know that they are as excited as we are about it!

We will spend long lazy days at the beach building sand castles & playing in the water, we will cook out in the evenings, go for long walks on the board walk, play board games, and of course charades... which has become a must every vacation... the girls get such a kick out of finding the girliest topics to get Big Dave to act out! We will make smores, & stay up too late catching up on life since last summers visit. We will laugh until our sides hurt and savor every second we all have together. The week will end all too soon with tearful goodbyes until next summer... another vacation, another beach... another time. We will pass that time with e-mails, pictures, and phone calls to stay in touch.

This is all normal to us... They are part of our family...we are part of theirs... our lives forever entangled through the miracle of Ben's adoption.

So I thought I would take a second to answer some of the many questions I am often asked about our choice to have a completely open adoption.

1. Was the adoption always open? Our adoption wasn't always "open" in the beginning we were as afraid of them as they were of us... we were afraid they would want him back, and they were afraid we wouldn't want him.

2.How did get in contact with eachother? Over 3 years time I wrote and sent pictures through our agency to pass to them. Through a very complicated series of events Renee and I were led to eachother by another birthmorther who also had a child with PWS who placed the baby for adoption... small, small world is all I can say.

3.How did you proceed after that initial contact? We started to e-mail eachother and a year later they flew east to meet us and see Ben for the first time in 3 years. I think we were all cautious that first year... not knowing if this was a good thing or if it would be a disaster. Obviously, it was a good thing and we had a great time getting to know them that first visit.

4. Isn't is weird or uncomfortable for all of you? It has never been weird or uncomfortable. We are most definitely Ben's Parents, Ben knows that and has never questioned it. For the first time a few months ago, he questioned whose tummy he grew in... see this post for the storyhttp://theknopfcrew.blogspot.com/2008/01/early-morning-conversations-with-ben.html I answered him honestly and it made perfect sense to him. We have always been honest with him and all the kids in regard to adoption. Honesty is the best policy.

5. How do you make it work? I think that to have a completely open relationship, all parties have to be honest and mature about the situation, we have had many heart to heart conversations about our feelings, hopes and fears for the future. We are honest and open in all aspects. No hidden agendas, no secrets.

it's the only way that this kind of a relationship is possible.6. What about the other kids? Our oldest son Ryan has traveled west and spent a weekend with Renee and Mike at their house to just visit and to snowboard! The other kids all love them as well. The best way I can explain it is that its kind or like an Aunt, Uncle and Cousins situation the way everyone gets along and the way we all pitch in while we are vacationing to do the cooking, cleaning, watching the kids etc.

That's about all I can think of for now... if you have any questions for us, please feel free to ask... until then... we will be at the beach!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Here are a few shots from our annual Maroon and White spring football game and picnic at the High School last week... as always, it was a balst and so great to see the guys out on the field again!! Enjoy!

The team getting ready

Alex #79 White

Aric #91 White

Aric #91

Coach T giving the post game talk.. notice Ben in the Mix!Picnic after the game... David in line for some good food!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

SUMMER IS SOOOO CLOSE!!!and I am so ready for it! Alex and Aric finish exams and have their last day on Friday, everyone else finishes next Monday! What does that mean to me??

1. Not having to get up at "0'dark thirty" every morning to make 8 lunches

2. Not having to drag tired kids who are much like their mom and are NOT Happy Morning People out of their beds every morning.

3. Not having to listen to the morning fights by said Not Happy Morning People about the constant Hot Water and dry towel shortage that plagues us daily!!

4. Not having to chase them out the door as the bus is sitting at the end of the driveway... or better yet having to chase the bus down so as not to have to drive to East Lyme at 6:30 to get a grumpy teenager to his first class on time.

5. No more homework, research papers, projects, book reports etc...

6. No more worrying about bedtimes!

7. BEACH TIME and LOTS of IT!!

8. Sleeping late... understand anything past 6:30, I consider LATE!

9. Hanging by the pool with the kids and their friends.

10. My house being busy with activity all day long... I love having the kids and their friends here!

I could go on all day, but can you tell I am so ready???

Today, we have our Annual Maroon and White Football Game at the High School. It marks the end of Spring Football... we are celebrating with a big cook out for the team and their parents after the game! Stay tuned for pictures tomorrow... it is always a great time! The game is kind of a teaser for what is to come... football season is right around the corner and anyone who knows us, knows how BIG that is in our house! The Youth program starts August 1st and the High school towards the end of August, but right now we are planning away for the season.

We also leave for the beach for a weeks vacation in a week and a half! I absolutely can't wait! A whole week with the beach right out our front door! We have a house rented and Ben's birthfamily will be joining us for our annual summer get away. This will be the 6th year that we have doen vacation together and it is something that we look forward to all year long!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I hope you all enjoy the photo's from our weekend! David and Ben competed on the soccer team, and Jake participated as a unified player ( for those who don't know, a unified player is a player who does not have special needs that plays on the team or competes side by side with an athelete as a support person)

Aric ran as a unified partner on the track team, running the 4x100 relay and throwing shot put.

The soccer team came home with a 1st place Gold Metal in the 5-aside unified soccer team, Arics team came in second for shot put and 5th in the 4x100 relay.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Sorry I have not had time to write in lately... this time of the year is just crazy. We have been busy with Lacrosse, Spring Football ( YIPPEEE it's Starting!!!), Special Olympics, and several big around the house projects. I feel like I have been going a million miles an hour lately.

That being said... yesterday we decided to take a "mental health day". I kept David, Jake, Ben and Caroline out of school and we went with friends to 6 Flags for the day. We bought season passes this year, so it made for a fun and inexpensive day. The weather was great and the kids had a blast! We were there at 10am when the park opened and stayed until 6pm when they closed! The kids rode almost every ride in the park.. including Caroline who has become quite a daredevil!! She loves the roller coasters. Some of the high speed ones she isn't tall enough for (which is fine by me!!) but she loves the wooden ones and wants to ride again and again.

Ben is a little more cautious, but got into it after awhile and tried some new rides.

David though.... That kid... there isn't a ride fast enough, upside down enough, shake your guts out enough... for him... the faster, the scarier... the better for him!

Yesterday he and 2 friends rode on what is called a Skycoaster... It's basically a 180' free fall bungee jump... he LOVED it and went not once... but TWICE!! It just about made my heart stop to even watch it!! Check out the video I found of a similar ride to get the idea of what I am talking about...

We had a great time yesterday!

In other news, Today is Ryan's 19th Birthday... sigh... my baby is 19??? How the heck did that happen?

June 4, 1989

June 2008

Where has the time gone?? Happy Birthday Ryan!

We are gearing up for Special Olympics State Games this weekend, so stay tuned for some great pictures next week. We leave on Friday night and will be staying on campus at SCSU.. the kids are so excited to be staying in the dorms... It should be a fun weekend!

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way." -unknown

Our Journey With Prader-Willi Syndrome

Our journey with Prader-Willi Syndrome started on December 1, 1994 when our son David was born.David is our 4th child. We had no idea that our world was about to change forever, that nothing would ever be the same... or what that would even mean..."Your baby has Prader-Willi Syndrome"The words seemed to float around the room, like they weren't really meant for me to hear. This couldn't be possible because we already had 3 healthy boys. I had prooved 3 times over that I could make healthy babies! That's what it was... a mistake... they had made a terrible mistake... they were talking about somebody elses baby, not mine. I didn't hear what they were saying... these words weren't meant for me. I looked at my husband who was holding David and he had tears rolling down his face, but he was in control, he asked the questions, he was crying... I'd never seen him cry, not like this anyway. I was just sitting there like a silent observer to this scene. I didn't belong here, this wasn't my life. We were taking our baby home today and they were wrong. I would proove it to them. We walk back to the NICU with David to pack his things from his 10 day stay. His nurse gave me a hug and I collapsed to my knees on the NICU floor sobbing... It hit me like a ton of bricks.. I am the mother of a baby with special needs. Some syndrome called Prader-Willi... not sure how we are going to do this, we pack our baby and head for home.The firt couple of years were a blur. David was sickly and we were in and out of the hospital with illness and surgeries. There was endless physical and occupational therapy, it took forever to feed him.. he had an NG tube for almost a year and was on oxygen until he was 3. Jacob was born 13 months after David and we were busier than we ever thought we could be. We had 5 little boys and life was good. But we both had this feeling that something, or someone was missing. Then we are told of a baby who has PWS and was in need of a family and we both knew immediately that this is what we wanted to do. So in September of 1999, Ben joined our family at the age of 5 months. He stole our hearts and life was good. We were busy raising 6 boys, everyone thought we were either saints or just plain crazy for adopting a child with PWS when we already had a child with it. Life was good, Life was busy, we wouldn't change a thing.... but something or someone was missing.In May of 2001 I was put in contact with a family who had a baby girl with PWS. They were making an adoption plan for her and long story short, Caroline Grace Elise came to live with us when she was 7 weeks old. We all fell completely head over heals in love with this baby girl! She was the missing piece to our family. Life is good, life is busy.. Our family is complete.7 kids, 3 with Prader-Willi Syndrome, maybe we are Saints, maybe we are crazy, maybe we're a little of both! Either way, life is good, and we wouldn't change a thing.