01.27.06

I don’t know if Oui Magazine is still publishing (editor’s note : I am really fucking old), but if they are, I don’t think this guy should hold his breath waiting for an invitation to contribute. (thanks to Charles Star for the link)

If reality stumbles when you learn that your girlfriend has had a threesome, it falls flat when you come face-to-face with the other parts of her carnal equation. As I watched the groom take his place near the priest/rabbi/guy with rented Bible, my brain went to three immediate destinations.

1. The last time we were “intimate.” It had been a long day, and I’d had a bit to drink. I wasn’t at my best. Let’s just leave it at that.

I can totally relate. If I spent the entire morning posting stories that other blogs had covered the previous evening, if not days or weeks earlier, I’d also be way too tired to fuck Will Leitch’s girlfriend.

Seriously. Ditch-diggers and wage slaves of the world, you have no idea how easy you’ve got it. Making fun of Ron Artest’s mental problems and calling Peyton Manning a closet case, now that’s hard labor.

The notion of someone hitting 30 without having been in a three-way (and no, IM’s don’t count) strikes me as somewhat less than tragic …and another one of those uniquely ‘we’re so fucking entitled we have to invent shit to moan about’ concerns. Almost as bad this Seahawks fan who thinks he’s owed a Super Bowl ticket.

Will writes a tepid Penthouse Forum letter chock full of TMI and sells it to a mainstream publication? How wonderful for him.

You know, Will’s not the only hack who is a much more gifted self-promotor than, you know, writer (see also: Joel Stein, Elizabeth Wurtzel, James Frey), but stuff like this makes me wish I was illiterate.

BTW, spot on re: “Chasing Amy,” CSTB. Don’t ALL of Kevin Smith’s horribly overrated movies have at least one scene in which the asshole male lead has a nervous breakdown because his love interest has had sex before she met him?