It's part customer care manual, part laundry guide. Sometimes it reads like a security handbook, at others like a teacher's instruction to a keen, but unruly, infant class. The 66-page manual handed out to the 8,000 volunteers who will be London's "ambassadors" for the Olympic and Paralympic Games provides a fascinating snapshot of official attitudes in modern Britain.

Practical advice on etiquette, and cheer-leading jollity from Boris Johnson ("you are going to be the face of London"), is mixed with dire warnings over speaking to the press without approval or compromising the "integrity" of proceedings on social networks.

People of many nationalities and ethnic background have seized the chance to help visitors navigate their way round the capital's tortuous public transport system, keep them up to date with Games news, suggest where they might enjoy fish and chips or a traditional English breakfast, or tip them off about West End shows.

But first they will have to navigate their own way round the instruction manual itself. Some volunteers, it warns mysteriously, might have to take "corrective action in order to prevent a sustainability incident". This follows more prosaic advice on turning off taps and lights, and walking, cycling or using public transport where possible.

Thirty-three thousand people registered interest in becoming a Games volunteer. Those selected from the 22,000 who completed the application forms will now be able to have fun identifying which snippet of advice emanated from which of the numerous organisations involved – contributors to the manual have included the high street retailer and 2012 official supplier, John Lewis, the Home Office, the Metropolitan police, the Greater London Authority and Volunteering England.

By the time the meeters and greeters finally get to staff the information pods at 43 sites – stretching from London's airports to its railway terminals, its Olympic venues, live big-screen sites and tourist honey pots such as Trafalgar Square and the South Bank – they will have done three days' intensive training. "Always be positive and polite," the manual exhorts. "Thank the visitor even if it is you are helping them … Don't forget to smile. Remember to bear in mind that knowing or understanding English has nothing to do with someone's hearing or intelligence. So you won't need to speak to them loudly, just very clearly."

It adds: "Never touch a visitor unless you are physically assisting them and particular circumstances deem it necessary … never forget that patience is your best friend."

There is a reminder to ambassadors that they "are essentially the eyes and ears of London and are part of a much wider security effort at Games time". They are on the watch for suspicious goings-on, pickpocketing and other low-level criminality while never putting themselves at risk. Lest this all sound rather serious, "excellence" badges might be awarded by managers to team members for any "exceptional performance or achievements".

Along with the public duty comes personal responsibility, volunteers are reminded. Looking after the shocking-pink and purple kit (two polo T-shirts, one fleece, a rain jacket, a pair of black cargo trousers or skirt, one baseball cap, trilby, backpack and water bottle) and ensuring it all remains clean and neat is a priority. Volunteers can keep the uniforms after the Games but during the events they can wear the kit only while going to and from shifts and at work.

"Do not tumble dry your uniform" or make any alterations that change the "look and feel" of it, warns the manual. And the "plain black comfortable shoes" to go with this garb – no flip-flops or sandals here – are to be provided by the wearers.

In a "teaching your grandmother" moment of teeth-clenching humour, volunteers are told to "check the weather" ahead of their shift and be prepared "with suntan lotion or your raincoat (or both!)".

No smoking

Then there's the matter of smoking and chatting to members of your family and friends. "Please refrain from smoking during your shift, unless you are on an agreed break," urges the manual. "If you do smoke during your break, we ask you to please do so discreetly with your uniform covered and away from the pod. Please remember that your priority while on your shift remains your commitment to assisting visitors and members of the public, so please try to keep personal visits to a minimum."

There is also a warning to be wary of undercover reporters – who might ask questions without identifying themselves as journalists. Those who say they are media representatives "should be politely directed" to managers "to ensure the accuracy of all outgoing information".

The volunteers, some of whom have already spent considerable sums applying for and preparing for their big days, must set a thrifty example in these austerity Games. Oyster cards will cover tube and bus travel to, and during, shifts. But the money spent on this will reflect the amount the Greater London Authority decides each individual ambassador needs; the programme operates "in a highly efficient and cost effective manner". And anyone who chooses to give up the chance of a free Oyster card (by using their own commuting season ticket, or a London Freedom pass entitling older or disabled passengers to free travel on most transport in the capital) is encouraged to do so.

There is also a strict limit on refreshments volunteers can expect during their five-hour shifts. Prepaid (worldwide Olympic partner) Visa cards will provide a £5 daily allowance (managers on longer shifts get £10). Alcohol is forbidden.

In a signal that these might be, for some, the "hungry Games", the manual adds that "all transactions will be recorded on an electronic portal and any amount left on the card after you have finished all of your shifts will be returned to the Greater London Authority".

But there's a smidgeon of cheer for the hard-working volunteers. As well as hanging on to their uniforms, they are advised: "You will be able to keep the card as a memento."