SHODMembers of Rav Aharon Kotler’s entourage were once unsuccessfully trying to recall a certain phone number. They asked the Rosh Yeshiva for the number and he shot it out with the lighting speed he was famous for. His wife, the life-long guardian of the glorious Torah mind which was Rav Aharon’s, blurted out “A shod of a guta kop!” (a waste of a good head). The great Rebbetzin was reminding her illustrious husband that his Kop was made for better things than phone numbers.We try in these modest pages to address topics of practical relevance. If so, why feature such a maaseh, so obviously in the realm of those who live on a totally different plane than our own? Truthfully, the lesson of this story is acutely applicable to us all.Although it’s fine for us to remember phone numbers, there are many things about which each of us can say “it’s a shod of my guta kop”. The “shod” might be in thinking about politics (be they national, local or yeshivish), random gossip, food prices, following the news excessively, or in remembering how people have offended us in the past.We all, sometimes, engage in activities which are obvious time wasters. We know what they are. My goal here is not to remedy those perennial problem areas, but to widen our circle of what we consider to be time wasters. There are topics we superficially think are important for us to be abreast of. A bit of real analysis would reveal that, in fact, there are much better things for us to busy ourselves with. The good news is that it may be far easier for us to disengage from “shod areas” as opposed to our perennial time wasters. We often have a deep connection to the things we always waste time with. That’s a connection which is difficult to break. Our shod areas, on the other hand, might only exist through our wrong perspective on them. After correctly perceiving them as non-important, it may be very easy to just walk away.A good way to determine what our time-wasters are would be through identifying our “Circle of Influence” and “Circle of Concern”. “Circle of Concern” is, as it sounds, those things that we are concerned about. “Circle of Influence” are the places where our opinion and involvement make a difference. Successful people align their “Circle of Concern” with their “Circle of Influence”. They avoid being too concerned with things they can’t influence. Usually, areas you can’t influence are the “shod” areas. Let us step up a notch in appreciating our own importance and, specifically, the importance of our wonderful minds and cast those “shod” topics by the wayside. If we can appreciate how much we can and must accomplish in our lives it makes it far easier to unburden ourselves of all the waste. We are too busy to allot time for things which aren’t that important.Not only are there whole areas which are “shod” areas, but there are areas within areas that are “shod” zones. For example, some part of politics may be important for you to know about, but the next area may not be.Wait! Before finishing this article identify two of your “shod” areas. Now, imagine how much more time and mental space you will have for what’s really important if you can let go of these topics. Unburdening ourselves of non-important areas will make a great difference in the quality of our “bein adam l’atzmo” experience, and perhaps more importantly it will open the way to more qualitative relationships. If a husband could see that certain things he bothers his wife about, and a wife could see that certain things she bothers her husband about, are really waste areas for them, there would be a lot less to fight about (to put it bluntly). For example, the husband unnecessarily concerns himself with his wife’s cooking. Following his concern comes his advice on what amounts to make and how much money she should be spending. Surprisingly, these areas are not ones where his sage council is appreciated. And, of course, the same is true with certain “buttings in” of a wife. If the couple would declare from the beginning certain areas of their spouse’s as shod areas for them, unfortunate bickering would be avoided. The novelty here isn’t the general “avoid sensitive areas” advice, rather we are offering a way to avoid those areas. Be a person who doesn’t overly concern yourself with what’s not important and you will get along better with others. Imagine an adam gadol; his utter lack of concern with small things makes it easy for him to focus on what’s really important in a relationship.We may not be Gedolim, but we can all improve greatly by remembering one simple word - “SHOD”.Initial Kabbala – Identify two or three new “shod” areas of yours.Advanced Kabbala – Identify four or five new “shod” areas and try to categorize them. Do you see a pattern emerging in where you waste your time?Enduring Kabbala – Totally disengage from two or three of your “shod” areas. Make sure you pick realistic ones. Don’t choose the ones you feel most connected to. ​(Please send comments and questions, to rdsvaad@gmail.com.)​If you would like to receive these Avodah thougths every 2 weeks sign up at http://rdsvaadim.com/subscribe/