The missiles strike the creature, most of them dissipating on contact, barely causing it to even acknowledge the damage. Anything else?

Lampshade:

Oh right, the boss at the top

Canuhearmenow:

Elias:

What was... How?

Nirrti:

what happened to that new palyer

Lampshade:

Shoot it with your crossbow

Nirrti:

*player

Lampshade:

Not here

Nirrti:

well gee

Nirrti:

superb observation there lamp

Nirrti:

I was asking what happened to the new player

GRiM:

he is getting here soon

GRiM:

ish

Lampshade:

Hey, I only have +3 spot, I can't help it

GRiM:

apprarently

Nirrti:

right

GRiM:

Nirrti, on your turn. please move

DM:

Darth's turn.

Darth GW7:

Oh hey I almost forgot I was here

GRiM:

so i can get away from the melee thing that is weakening me

Nirrti:

sorry pal, no can do

Darth GW7:

I'm grappling this guy, right?

Lampshade:

Umm, where can he move?

DM:

Er

Darth GW7:

Does that count as making him helpless

Canuhearmenow:

Did someone say GRAPPLE!

DM:

I think so

Nirrti:

sidestep left, lamp

DM:

Wait, let me check the rules again. Sigh.

Nirrti:

well, upwards in the view

Darth GW7:

Use Ctrl+F

Darth GW7:

Don't use the contents page

Nirrti:

man we should all just grapple the swordwraith

Darth GW7:

You'll never find it

Canuhearmenow:

I want to get the earth shattering mega mage spells

Darth GW7:

Nirrti, no!

DM:

The swordwraith does Strength damage on contact

Darth GW7:

Don't tempt the D&D god!

Nirrti:

I GET BONUS BECAUSE I'M LARGE

Nirrti:

I will rip and tear his tiny guts

Nirrti:

watch as I roll nat 1 and grapple myself

Canuhearmenow:

Rip and... What?

Canuhearmenow:

:q: you grab yourself

Nirrti:

canu

Nirrti:

http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/comic.php

Canuhearmenow:

I know of the legend, Nirrti

Canuhearmenow:

I'm a man and a half too

Nirrti:

well I'm the night train

Canuhearmenow:

DYNAMITE!

Canuhearmenow:

Every page of this is gold

Nirrti:

the best comic

Nirrti:

of all comics

Canuhearmenow:

He always needs a bigger gun

Canuhearmenow:

But then he finds a biggest gun

* Darth GW7 rolls: d4 => 1

Darth GW7:

Oh hey

Darth GW7:

I could breathe in his face again

Canuhearmenow:

Groovy

Canuhearmenow:

Just bite his face with your mouth

Canuhearmenow:

Then breath

Lampshade:

You should've tripped him

Canuhearmenow:

Tripped

Canuhearmenow:

Oh god no

Canuhearmenow:

That's like Grapplling light

Darth GW7:

Hey guys

Darth GW7:

Guys

Darth GW7:

Are you watching this

Darth GW7:

Watch my token

Lampshade:

...ok

Darth GW7:

Aren't you going to laugh

Darth GW7:

joke about me being on top

Darth GW7:

rrerr etc. etc?

Lampshade:

Nah

Nirrti:

it's too obvious

Lampshade:

So what are you going to do?

Darth GW7:

So hjort

Nirrti:

we wouldn't expect anything less from you darth

Darth GW7:

How does it feel being wrong

DM:

Hm

Darth GW7:

c:

DM:

It's at this point I realise that Grappling is actually useless.

Darth GW7:

Yeah

Darth GW7:

-4 to melee attacks

DM:

Unless

DM:

Unless you can cast spells

Darth GW7:

That's dumb though

Darth GW7:

Why would wizards be grappling

DM:

Heh

Nirrti:

you can use light weapons though

DM:

This is true

GRiM:

who is next?

Lampshade:

Or natural attacks

Nirrti:

yeah

Darth GW7:

Longsword isn't a light weapon, is it.

Lampshade:

Darth is still going on

Lampshade:

No

Nirrti:

plus it constricts the thing you're grappling

Darth GW7:

Fuck it

Darth GW7:

BREATH ATTACK

Darth GW7:

Can I set fire to his clothes

Darth GW7:

For massive damage

DM:

I... no?

Darth GW7:

What? Why not

DM:

Oh sure, go ahead

DM:

Set fire to the thing you're grappling

Darth GW7:

Plate armour and thick scales

Darth GW7:

I'll be okay

DM:

Go ahead, then.

* Darth GW7 rolls: 3d8 => 15

Darth GW7:

15/24

Darth GW7:

That's...

Darth GW7:

62%

Darth GW7:

That's a C

Darth GW7:

DM:

Alright

Lampshade:

But max damage is pretty damn unlikely

Darth GW7:

So is getting 100% in an exam

Lampshade:

I don't think it works like that

Nirrti:

works like that for darth

Darth GW7:

No one gets full marks in proper exams

DM:

Are you done?

Darth GW7:

only stupid fake school test

Darth GW7:

Uh

Darth GW7:

I rolled for damage?

DM:

Indeed

Darth GW7:

...is that it?

Nirrti:

also grim you forgot that you can move through friendly squares

DM:

Yes, why? He took damage. Quite a lot, given that he's a mage.

Nirrti:

you just can't stop in them

Darth GW7:

Is there a nearby window?

DM:

Yes

Darth GW7:

Where

Nirrti:

defenestrate him

Nirrti:

and i'll gut him midair

Darth GW7:

Defenestration for the nation

Nirrti:

do enemies that fall on you/next to you cause aoo?

Darth GW7:

Where is it jort

Darth GW7:

point it out

Darth GW7:

Also can I move while grappling

Darth GW7:

Like, pulling him by the collar

Nirrti:

yeah, I think so

DM:

Yeah

DM:

Half speed

Darth GW7:

Oh you bitch

Darth GW7:

It couldn't be like

Darth GW7:

2 squares away

Darth GW7:

I guess that's all I can do for now

DM:

You can move half your speed (bringing all others engaged in the grapple with you) by winning an opposed grapple check. This requires a standard action, and you must beat all the other individual check results to move the grapple.

DM:

So, no, you couldn't do that

Darth GW7:

Oh

Darth GW7:

Can I knock him to the ground or something cool

Nirrti:

give him some boot

DM:

You set fire to him.

Nirrti:

mighty boot times two

Darth GW7:

I want to knock him prone!

GRiM:

nearly finished my project work...

GRiM:

phew

Darth GW7:

fine

Darth GW7:

I can't do anything it seems

GRiM:

as soon as I'm done I can relax for about a week XD

Darth GW7:

because pushing someone to the ground is a standard action

GRiM:

fuck 3rd year

Darth GW7:

apparently

* Darth GW7 passes the baton

DM:

Nirrti

Nirrti:

I guess I'll just attack then

Nirrti:

lets go with good old power attack while we're at it, -2 I guess

* Nirrti rolls: d20+12 => 14 + 12 = 26

Jekk0:

+6 str

Darth GW7:

nice

Lampshade:

It hit!

Lampshade:

Hopefully

Nirrti:

I think it only has 15 AC

Nirrti:

if I remember correctly from the last fight

Nirrti:

or was that something else

GRiM:

DONE

GRiM:

FINALLY

Nirrti:

I don't remember anymore

GRiM:

Full attention on D&D now

DM:

It hits

Lampshade:

It was probably the wraith

DM:

The wraith had 15, this has 20

Jekk0:

you didn't rage

* Nirrti rolls: 3d6+12+1+4 => 12 + 12 + 1 + 4 = 29

DM:

I... uh. Wow.

Nirrti:

no need to waste a rage here

Lampshade:

Is it dead?

Nirrti:

let me guess, it has 1hp left

Jekk0:

its dead cleave the bodger

Darth GW7:

Soon you'll be able to cause death by massive damaeg

DM:

He will, yeah

Nirrti:

that 3d6 is just because of being large though

Nirrti:

can't really take any feats that improve my damage before I get the prestige

Lampshade:

Did you have Bull's Strength?

Nirrti:

yeah

DM:

You strike it with your axe, cleaving its head off of its shoulders. The skin beneath the armour begins to rapidly rot away, as the malignant glow flees its eyes. It falls to its knees, and dies.

Nirrti:

good enough

Lampshade:

Buff Nirrti, win

DM:

Seems to be a solid strategy

Lampshade:

Our combat plan is pretty simple

Nirrti:

I wish I could use darth as a shield

Nirrti:

like, strap him onto my arm

DM:

You can, probably

Nirrti:

then when somebody strikes

Nirrti:

block with darth

Nirrti:

darth strikes back

DM:

There's armour that does that, technically.

DM:

What will we do about Disco's turn?

Nirrti:

skip I guess

Nirrti:

or you play it?

Lampshade:

Is he online?

Darth GW7:

What can he do?

Darth GW7:

Shoot his bow?

Canuhearmenow:

Just like Xannan

Darth GW7:

Is he chained up or something?

Canuhearmenow:

Kinky

Nirrti:

shoot bow with legs

Darth GW7:

Careful canu

Nirrti:

like those chinese performers

Darth GW7:

Hjort threatened me if I said stuff like that

Canuhearmenow:

Oh

Canuhearmenow:

Sorry Hjort!

Darth GW7:

I'm more concerned about why he has a bow if he's meant to be chained up

Darth GW7:

These guys are dumb

Darth GW7:

Or...

Darth GW7:

...

Darth GW7:

oh god

Nirrti:

maybe it was hidden

Darth GW7:

oh god

Nirrti:

somewhere very deep

DM:

Isn't chained up.

Darth GW7:

that's... that's HORRIBLE

Nirrti:

or maybe it's a tiny bow

Darth GW7:

The WHOLE BOW?

Darth GW7:

Jesus how did he get the whole bow down his throat

Lampshade:

I say we skip

Nirrti:

that's not the right cavity, darth

Lampshade:

Who's next?

Darth GW7:

Just make him shoot arrow

DM:

Okay

Darth GW7:

Gimme his sheet

DM:

Or two?

Canuhearmenow:

level 5 with +3 dex

Nirrti:

all of the arrows

Canuhearmenow:

So +8

Canuhearmenow:

I think

DM:

mhm

Lampshade:

More if MW bow or weapon focus

Nirrti:

man I'd do wicked damage by throwing shit as large

Darth GW7:

Uh

Darth GW7:

Xan

Nirrti:

oh shit

Darth GW7:

Why does xan have -10 Strength?

Nirrti:

did I get some bonus for attacking smaller enemies?

DM:

What

Darth GW7:

I just looked at grim's sheet

Darth GW7:

his temp STR score is -10

Jekk0:

what armor dose she have its on 13ac

Darth GW7:

he should be like

Darth GW7:

on the ground

Darth GW7:

unable to support his own body weight

Lampshade:

Jekko

Lampshade:

Shit dex

Nirrti:

his armor keeps him upright, darth

Darth GW7:

His CHAIN armour?

Nirrti:

or maybe he's leaning on the bow

Nirrti:

it's very rigid chain armor

Darth GW7:

He wouldn't even be able to pull the string

Jekk0:

i mean kiera

Lampshade:

Oh

DM:

No armour

DM:

Just dex mod

Jekk0:

ah

* DM rolls: d20 + 8 => 17 + 8 = 25

Nirrti:

guys

* DM rolls: d8 + 4 => 8 + 4 = 12

Nirrti:

did I get some bonus for attacking smaller enemies

Nirrti:

for being large

DM:

Jekko's turn

Lampshade:

No

Jekk0:

+4 intimidate

Lampshade:

Nice damage

* Jekk0 rolls: 1d20+8 => 18 + 8 = 26

Jekk0:

crit

* Jekk0 rolls: 1d20+8 => 7 + 8 = 15

DM:

Yup.

GRiM is disconnected.

Darth GW7:

What is your crit range?

Jekk0:

17-20

DM:

That's a crit, roll for damage.

GRiM has connected.

* Jekk0 rolls: 2d3 => 4

GRiM:

everytthing froze

GRiM:

i trust it wasnt my turn yet

GRiM:

?

Nirrti:

jekko, are you really happy with that toothpick

GRiM:

who killed the swordwraith? where did these cultists come from?

Nirrti:

cultist's have been there the whole time

DM:

Cultist have always been there, Nirrti killed the SW

Nirrti:

*cultists

Jekk0:

next

Nirrti:

oh man, finally winamp plays a good song

DM:

Alright, Mage's turn

Lampshade:

Get a better playlist

Nirrti:

I've got like 90% of my music in the playlist

Darth GW7:

thetimestheyareachangin.mp3

Nirrti:

well, actually more like 75%

Nirrti:

because I CBA to hand select songs for a playlist

Nirrti:

and I'd get bored of them faster

Lampshade:

What does the mage do?

Lampshade:

Fail his concentration check and fuck all?

DM:

Hang on

DM:

Need to make the check first, actually. 20 + spell level, right?

Lampshade:

I don't know

Darth GW7:

Yeah

Darth GW7:

And only if it's a castable spell

Darth GW7:

It can't involve any complicated movements or material components

Canuhearmenow:

So

Canuhearmenow:

Meteor Strike

Nirrti:

indoors?

Canuhearmenow:

Walls can be destroyed

Nirrti:

well yes

DM:

This is true

Nirrti:

but they kind of get in the way of it

DM:

Well, yes

Canuhearmenow:

You get 4

DM:

You get Meteor + Walls falling on you

DM:

Can't have any Somatic components, either. Hm.

Nirrti:

and on the mage

DM:

Darth, opposed grapple check

Darth GW7:

Just an attack roll yeah?

DM:

Essentially. No weapon bonuses.

* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+9 => 7 + 9 = 16

Lampshade:

Unarmed touch attack

Darth GW7:

Lucky seven?

Lampshade:

Dude, it's a mage

Darth GW7:

true but he might have got lucky

* DM rolls: d20+ 3 => 3 + 3 = 6

DM:

Nope

DM:

Lamp's turn

Lampshade:

I hit him with my sword

* Lampshade rolls: d20+7 => 2 + 7 = 9

Lampshade:

Nope

Darth GW7:

What sort of action is it to break a grapple anyways

DM:

In place of an attack

DM:

So, standard

Darth GW7:

right

Lampshade:

I'm done

DM:

Grim's turn

GRiM:

good timing

Jekk0:

escape artis is for getting out off grapple

Nirrti:

battle musiiiiiic

Nirrti:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6Za0rZs0Qk

DM:

You can use it instead of a grapple check

GRiM:

IT CONFLICTS WITH MY SMOOTH JAZZ

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

hmm

GRiM:

so

GRiM:

swordwraith is dead

Jekk0:

yes

GRiM:

my STR still fucked?

Darth GW7:

conflicts with my waifu music

DM:

Yes

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

rapid shot

GRiM:

cultist 2

DM:

Wait

Nirrti:

raped shot

Canuhearmenow:

Raping shot

DM:

Can't move and do that, can you?

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

rapid shot

DM:

Targets?

GRiM:

cultist 2

GRiM:

wait

GRiM:

i can shoot 2 things?

GRiM:

with a rapid shot, like1 on each?

Darth GW7:

I'd imagine so

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

LETS DO THEEES

GRiM:

1 then 2

GRiM:

ahwassa and halfred better duck

* GRiM rolls: d20 +8 => 17 + 8 = 25

* GRiM rolls: d20 +8 => 8 + 8 = 16

DM:

Both hit

* GRiM rolls: d8 => 3

* GRiM rolls: d8 => 4

DM:

And yes, no limit on who you attack with them.

GRiM:

now you tell me

DM:

The arrows fly, people die.

Nirrti:

you can even ATTACK YOURSELF

DM:

Well

DM:

...hm.

GRiM:

do they die?

Darth GW7:

That would require... skill

Canuhearmenow:

Whose turn is it NOW!

Nirrti:

skill that xannan has already shown, darth

Darth GW7:

nacho's!

Darth GW7:

That is true nirrti

Darth GW7:

The reflect crit was amazing

DM:

Yes, they die.

DM:

Still Grim's turn.

Nirrti:

so did you hear about paradox entertainment's dungeonland?

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

bodger

GRiM:

can he move that far?

DM:

30 feet

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

thats fine then

GRiM:

he attacks

GRiM:

he's still ragey

GRiM:

so it's what rolls again

GRiM:

?

DM:

d20 + 6

DM:

1d2 + 1 damage

DM:

Only one attack since you moved

Lampshade:

So..

Lampshade:

Who's after Xannan and his bodger?

DM:

The cultists.

DM:

Cultist.

GRiM:

ok

* GRiM rolls: d20+6 => 14 + 6 = 20

GRiM:

nice!

GRiM:

Crit roll for badger? XD

GRiM:

oh wait

GRiM:

not

GRiM:

durr

DM:

heh

GRiM:

damage

* GRiM rolls: d2+1 => 2 + 1 = 3

Lampshade:

Wasn't a crit

GRiM:

well thats good

DM:

Right

DM:

Anything else?

GRiM:

nope

DM:

Alright

Canuhearmenow:

Who turn what

DiscoInferno has connected.

Canuhearmenow:

My turn?

DM:

No

Canuhearmenow:

My turn!

DM:

vs Lamp.

* DM rolls: d20 + 5 => 6 + 5 = 11

Canuhearmenow:

Shit

DM:

...Canu's turn.

Darth GW7:

wotcher furfag ~LMAO~

Darth GW7:

I kid

* Canuhearmenow rolls: 3d4 + 3 => 10 + 3 = 13

Canuhearmenow:

Cultist Chan

DiscoInferno:

Just pretend I was too scared out of my wits

DiscoInferno:

Oh

Canuhearmenow:

Disco you actually shot someone

Darth GW7:

I can't exactly talk since I jerk off to dergon porn

Darth GW7:

wait what

DiscoInferno:

I just heard

Darth GW7:

....

Darth GW7:

DID you now

Darth GW7:

hjort care to step outside for a minute

DM:

Wait what

DM:

Right, the cultist dies.

Lampshade:

Yay

GRiM:

ok

Nirrti:

are the stairs big enough to accommodate me

DM:

Yes

Nirrti:

good

Elias:

You know what, if we weren't pressed on time I'd ask who the hell you are

Elias:

But if you're going to help us, I'd recommend following

Kiera:

I don't even know how I got here..

Kiera:

Or who you are, or why those guys attacked me

Darth GW7:

MEANWHILE ON THE NEXT FLOOR

Ahwassa:

We really don't have time for this, just follow us if you think you can handle yourself in a fight

Kiera:

Ok...

Kiera:

Lead the way

* Halfred loot's the bodys

Canuhearmenow:

You must gather your party before you venture forth

Nirrti:

STOMPY STOMP YA GITZ

Nirrti:

we're going to do the whole tower in combat though, aren't we

Nirrti:

so we also move in combat

DM:

Yeah

DM:

Because of the spell

Nirrti:

so what is elias doing all the way there then

DiscoInferno:

What spell?

Lampshade:

He ran there on his turn

DM:

He can't have

Nirrti:

a spell that does damage

* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 13 => 10 + 13 = 23

Canuhearmenow:

Spellcraft check

Canuhearmenow:

This is a TOWER OF POWER

DM:

I... still, no, that's not enough.

Nirrti:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkqBRflowJ4

Canuhearmenow:

Fuck this

Nirrti:

man, I've forgotten how good soundtrack magicka has

Darth GW7:

must be very high level

Canuhearmenow:

Are rocks falling?

DM:

Yes

Nirrti:

has defecation hit the oscillation?

Canuhearmenow:

Spaghetti spills out of my component pouch

Nirrti:

that's -4 AC, canu

Darth GW7:

F*** you and F*** spagheeeeeeeeeeetti

Nirrti:

so, whose turn is it

Canuhearmenow:

We need a batshit insane Beholder

DM:

Canu, are you done?

Canuhearmenow:

yes

DM:

Darth's turn

Nirrti:

so darth then

Nirrti:

DEFENESTRATE HIM DARTH

Nirrti:

DO IT FOR THE GREATER GOOD

Darth GW7:

I told you what I want to do hjort

Darth GW7:

Wat do

Nirrti:

you're actually dragging him closer to the stairs we'll be coming up from

DM:

Oh right

Canuhearmenow:

Nirrti

Canuhearmenow:

There's a black space between us

Canuhearmenow:

And Darth

Canuhearmenow:

Aka, another floor

Canuhearmenow:

Or two

DM:

Nah

Nirrti:

I thought it was just one floor he went up to

Nirrti:

because he can't fly

DM:

It's just the next floor up

Darth GW7:

...yet

Nirrti:

see

DM:

I was bad with spacing.

DiscoInferno:

I can jump higj

DiscoInferno:

high* I think...

Darth GW7:

I have +15 jump

Darth GW7:

I use it ALLLLLL THE TIIIIIIME

Nirrti:

i only have +11 now

Nirrti:

because I trained some points off of jump

* Darth GW7 rolls: d4 => 4

Darth GW7:

huh

DiscoInferno:

11 plus a jump spell

DiscoInferno:

i am a bunny

Darth GW7:

You have spells?

Darth GW7:

oh that reminds me can I have your sheet

Lampshade:

Rangers have spells

Darth GW7:

They do?

Canuhearmenow:

Not yet

DM:

It's just Grim used Wisdom as his dump stat

Lampshade:

Yes

Darth GW7:

ah

DM:

THey can get spells through Bonus spells at this level

Canuhearmenow:

Because Grim is a silly billy goat

DiscoInferno:

Who what's who sheey?

Darth GW7:

what

DiscoInferno:

sheet*

Darth GW7:

no matter how much I read that sentence

Darth GW7:

no sense it makes

DiscoInferno:

Who wants who's sheet?

GRiM:

what?

Darth GW7:

I want your babi- SHEET

GRiM:

why am i silly?

Darth GW7:

guys guess how far i can throw people

Darth GW7:

TEN FEET

GRiM:

wisdom is a dump stat for me

Darth GW7:

No defenestration guys sorreh

DiscoInferno:

http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=374790 my sheet

Darth GW7:

Just disembowlation

DiscoInferno:

my sheet: http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=374790

Darth GW7:

1sec

Elias:

Hey you Imperial Guardsmen? Aren't you going to join us?

Darth GW7:

never mind

DM:

Oh wait the militiaman died

Nirrti:

yeah I wonder why

Darth GW7:

Okay

Darth GW7:

I use my sword

DM:

HOW

Nirrti:

can't use it in grapple darth

DiscoInferno:

And I use my bow

Darth GW7:

ah fuck

Darth GW7:

Can I break grapple?

Nirrti:

throw him down the stairs

Darth GW7:

It was totally worth it though

Darth GW7:

TOTALLY

Darth GW7:

I can't

Darth GW7:

Moving while grappling is a standard action

Darth GW7:

As is throwing

Nirrti:

drag him closer

Darth GW7:

And I can only throw 10 feet

Nirrti:

and then we'll come up the stairs

Nirrti:

and kill him while you grapple

Darth GW7:

It would take at least 3 turns to throw him down the stairs

Nirrti:

you might or might not receive collateral

Darth GW7:

seriously why does grapple exist

Darth GW7:

so pointless

Canuhearmenow:

So

Canuhearmenow:

Now what

Canuhearmenow:

Where are we

Canuhearmenow:

What are we doing

Darth GW7:

Can I break grapple and attack him

Canuhearmenow:

Why

Darth GW7:

don't tell me that letting go of him is a standard action

DM:

It is

DM:

Escaping a grapple takes place instead of an attack

Darth GW7:

>Escaping

Darth GW7:

I'm the one doing the grappling

DM:

Actually, it goes both ways

Darth GW7:

Are you fucking kidding me

DM:

Not till one of you pins the other

Darth GW7:

So grabbing someone by the scruff of their neck means that you can't simply let go of them again?

GRiM:

not in D&D BIATCH

Nirrti:

darth, they're grappling back

Nirrti:

it's mutual feeling, if you catch my drift

Darth GW7:

grappling was a terrible idea and I hate you all for suggesting it

Lampshade:

I said you should trip

Lampshade:

Which you totally should've done

Nirrti:

not my fault you don't have claws darth

Nirrti:

you should've told me you don't have claws

Jekk0:

whos turn is it?

Darth GW7:

not my fault either

Nirrti:

i guess mine if darth is done

Darth GW7:

Hold on

Darth GW7:

I'm looking for something to do

Darth GW7:

there must be SOMETHING

Nirrti:

you can't run through friendly squares, can you?

Lampshade:

Nah

Lampshade:

Just walk

Nirrti:

everyone is in the way gorramnit

Lampshade:

Try to pin him

DM whispers: You could pin him, make him helpless.

Darth GW7:

...Aha!

Darth GW7:

I can use my spiked shield

Darth GW7:

for.. 1d6 damage

Darth GW7:

+4

Lampshade:

Do it

Darth GW7:

...

Darth GW7:

wait

Darth GW7:

Oh nevermind

Darth GW7:

I replaced my armour spikes

Darth GW7:

darn

Lampshade:

Just do it

Darth GW7:

I was gonna say that I do damage on grappling with armour spikes

Darth GW7:

but I don't got them anymoar

Darth GW7:

alright

* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+9 => 10 + 9 = 19

Darth GW7:

I'm guessing that to be a hit

DM:

Roll for damage

* Darth GW7 rolls: d6+4 => 1 + 4 = 5

Darth GW7:

...fuck you d6

DM:

Anything else?

Darth GW7:

I guess not

Darth GW7:

sigh

Darth GW7:

guys

Darth GW7:

Let's agree to never use grapple again

DM:

I agree

Nirrti:

what

Nirrti:

nooooooo

DM:

Well

DM:

I could see the point if an unarmed attack did damage

Darth GW7:

it's pointless and retarded and actually makes it harder to do anything

DM:

Or in certain situations

DM:

Nirrti's turn

Nirrti:

well since I can't run because everyone is in the way

Lampshade:

You can use standard action to move again

Nirrti:

the corpse isn't in the way if I move there, is it

Canuhearmenow:

Oh my god Darth why did you actually initiate grappling in the first place

DM:

No

DM:

Corpses don;t count

Darth GW7:

Because they said it was a good idea

* Darth GW7 rolls: d4 => 3

Lampshade:

Ne we didn't!

Nirrti:

lamp, you sure?

Canuhearmenow:

Y'all have been arguing silly little rules for 30 minutes

Lampshade:

yeah

Canuhearmenow:

For what advantage?

Canuhearmenow:

None

Lampshade:

You can move as a standard action

DM:

Alright

Nirrti:

well then I shall

Nirrti:

hold on

Nirrti:

actually nevermind

Nirrti:

running wouldn't do any good

Lampshade:

Next

DM:

Jekko

DM:

Wait Disco, rather

DiscoInferno:

Umm

DiscoInferno:

I go up the stairs?

Lampshade:

Yep

DiscoInferno:

Is that the plan?

DiscoInferno:

That grey blob is the stairs?

Lampshade:

If you want to go first, then go ahead

Canuhearmenow:

yes

Lampshade:

Oh wait, darth already went

Jekk0:

looting

DiscoInferno:

Ok

Lampshade:

We're taking constant damage, no time for looting

DiscoInferno:

Umm

Lampshade:

You can move up to 60 feet if you use your standard action to move

DiscoInferno:

Ok

Jekk0:

making sure that the gurd's dont take the items

Jekk0:

*guard's

Nirrti:

what guards

Nirrti:

oh, those

Lampshade:

I don't think these guys have any loot worth taking

Lampshade:

Oh yay, I got a crossbow worth 15 gp

Lampshade:

Totally worth it

Jekk0:

swordwraith?

DM:

They have bolts, at least.

Lampshade:

Bolts are known for their immense value, yes

DM:

Oh, the SW, that's right

DM:

Hang on Jekko

DiscoInferno:

Can you put me on the second floor?

Canuhearmenow:

ctrl + c character

DiscoInferno:

Thanks

Nirrti:

or just drag

Canuhearmenow:

ctrl + p there

DiscoInferno:

Done now

Lampshade:

p?

Canuhearmenow:

I mean v

DiscoInferno:

Thaks my turn

DiscoInferno:

that's*

DM:

Darth, make an opposed grapple check.

* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+9 => 20 + 9 = 29

Darth GW7:

...

Canuhearmenow:

Use as human shield

Darth GW7:

Against what exactly

DM:

Escaping.

Canuhearmenow:

Kiera fires arrow

Darth GW7:

No I mean

Darth GW7:

What canu said

Canuhearmenow:

Meat shield

Darth GW7:

If I use him as a human shield I can walk 10ft per turn

Canuhearmenow:

You're trying to kill the guy

Darth GW7:

I know I'm a tank but jesus

DiscoInferno:

What?

Darth GW7:

Hey since I got a nat 20

Darth GW7:

Can I pin him

DM:

...sure, I'll allow that.

Darth GW7:

Z'ar Kor:

Don't fight it. It'll hurt more that way.

Lampshade:

....

DM:

...great.

Lampshade:

Does the mage have to do a will save now?

Canuhearmenow:

Didn't.. The German guy say that

Canuhearmenow:

in Saving Private Ryan?

Darth GW7:

I thought it was the medic

Darth GW7:

"Zis will only hurt for a moment"

Canuhearmenow:

The Nazi guy that was stabbing the other GI

Canuhearmenow:

In the last battle

Darth GW7:

Never seen it actually

Darth GW7:

not the whole thing

Darth GW7:

bits and pieces

Canuhearmenow:

Whose turn

Nirrti:

is darth done?

DM:

It wasn't Darth, it was the mage

Nirrti:

oh

DM:

Working out Jekko's search check results

Jekk0:

mine?

DM:

Lamp's turn

DiscoInferno:

I'll be right back after these messages

Jekk0:

loot is worth abought 4K gp

Lampshade:

Oh, so it was worthwile

Lampshade:

My mistake

Lampshade:

Done

DM:

Grim's turn

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

err

GRiM:

everything down here is dead?

GRiM:

so it's mostly moving

GRiM:

?

Nirrti:

yeah

Nirrti:

unless you want to kill the guards

GRiM:

one sec

Jekk0:

hmm i found a cloak i need help from elias

Elias:

What'd you find there Halfred?

Canuhearmenow:

Arcana then Spellcraft, just so y'all know

* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 11 => 20 + 11 = 31

* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 13 => 15 + 13 = 28

DM:

Alright

Lampshade:

Nice mods

GRiM:

ok

Canuhearmenow:

Aww yea

Halfred:

magical sword armor , cant make it out of the cloak

GRiM:

back

GRiM:

why are people rolling and RPing during my turn?

* Halfred shows the cloak to elias

Lampshade:

Because you're slow

Elias:

Appears to be a Cloak of Resistance, it will make you more proficient at surviving

GRiM:

i said "one sec"

Canuhearmenow:

Basically, +1 to all saving rolls

GRiM:

it means "I have shit in real life to do, AFK one moment...."

Jekk0:

appraice?

Lampshade:

We're just using this time efficiently

DM:

Not till next turn, Jekko.

Jekk0:

ok

GRiM:

since i'm just moving, that distance is ok right?

Jekk0:

i think the loot is now 6k

Jekk0:

or more

DiscoInferno:

Back with an apple

Nirrti:

why is everyone piling up behind me again

DiscoInferno:

Did I miss anything boring and tedious?

DM:

Yes

Lampshade:

Because we want to get up

DM:

...

DiscoInferno:

Balls

Nirrti:

you can move past me

Jekk0:

just move

Nirrti:

as long as you don't stop in the squares I'm in

Darth GW7:

Yeah

Lampshade:

We don't have enough move for that

Nirrti:

right

DM:

Canu's turn.

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

i did

GRiM:

since i was closer

DM:

Okay

Nirrti:

how many feet are the stairs

Nirrti:

or is getting up them a free action

DM:

Nah, standard move

Nirrti:

k

DM:

Just consider them normal squares

Canuhearmenow:

I told you

Canuhearmenow:

The appraise and such are standard action

Canuhearmenow:

Right?

Nirrti:

if I move, and then move again by standard action, am I allowed to run

DM:

Run is a full round action.

Lampshade:

Running is a full round action

Nirrti:

is it

Lampshade:

Yes

Nirrti:

I thought it was related to move actions

Nirrti:

well, whatever

DM:

You can run as a full-round action. (If you do, you do not also get a 5-foot step.) When you run, you can move up to four times your speed in a straight line (or three times your speed if you’re in heavy armor). You lose any Dexterity bonus to AC unless you have the Run feat

DM:

Darth's turn

Darth GW7:

So can I attack him with my sword now?

Darth GW7:

He's pinned

DM:

er

DiscoInferno:

Alotta rules in this game

Darth GW7:

Only the grappling ones

Darth GW7:

seriously

Darth GW7:

don't go there

DiscoInferno:

BUNDLE!

Nirrti:

always grapple

Nirrti:

ALWAYS

Nirrti:

well if you're a monk then you should grapple

DiscoInferno:

Damn this is a good apple

Darth GW7:

CULTIST

Darth GW7:

I RELEASE YOU FROM YOUR DRAGONBORN BOND

Darth GW7:

that was meant to be a PotC reference

Darth GW7:

I don't think I did it right

Darth GW7:

and now

Darth GW7:

rape

* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+13 => 17 + 13 = 30

Darth GW7:

o lawd

Nirrti:

you didn't say it sensually darth

DiscoInferno:

Plus it's not a very memorable line...

Darth GW7:

that would put fuel on the jokes fire

* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+4+3+4 => 5 + 4 + 3 + 4 = 16

Nirrti:

I actually remember it because I watched the movies not long ago

Darth GW7:

16 damage!

DM:

He dies, screaming in agony, flesh ablaze.

Lampshade:

PotC?

Nirrti:

pirates of the caribbean

Lampshade:

Well that was easy

Lampshade:

Ah

Darth GW7:

Pining of the Cultist

Lampshade:

So why did this guy have a floor all to himself?

Darth GW7:

He was probably having dinner or something

DM:

Because he was a seventh level wizard

DM:

With Fireball

Canuhearmenow:

WIZERD

Darth GW7:

Then I burst through the window

Canuhearmenow:

Wait

Canuhearmenow:

WAIT!

Canuhearmenow:

WAIT!

DM:

And then Darth comes up and pins him.

Lampshade:

.....wat

Canuhearmenow:

It's.... Over?

Darth GW7:

When did hjort say that

Nirrti:

see darth, it was a good idea that you grappled him

Nirrti:

you could've been fireball'd

Darth GW7:

I WAS fireball'd

Nirrti:

again

Canuhearmenow:

Can I get up the stairs

Canuhearmenow:

You're a guddamn lizard

Darth GW7:

Lamp

Darth GW7:

care to heal me

Darth GW7:

I'm a lizard, yes

Lampshade:

How much you missing?

Darth GW7:

I can't cope with extreme changes in environment

Darth GW7:

Almost half

DiscoInferno:

Must dispose of this citric corpse brb

Jekk0:

move

Lampshade:

When it's my turn, sure

Elias 1:

Look at you, Z'ar!

Canuhearmenow:

Oh

Canuhearmenow:

Fuck

Z'ar Kor:

Look at me?

Canuhearmenow:

Nvm

Canuhearmenow:

Apaprently still doing combat turns

Nirrti:

elias 1 clone

Canuhearmenow:

apparently*

Nirrti:

obviously

Nirrti:

like hjort has said many times the whole tower will be in combat

Canuhearmenow:

The tower of power sucks

Lampshade:

Who's turn is it?

Nirrti:

if darth is done, mine

Darth GW7:

Hold on

DiscoInferno:

The deed is done

Darth GW7:

I'll move so lamp can heal me

DM:

Sorry, my computer froze for a moment there.

DM:

Wow, that was weird.

DM:

Yeah, Nirrti's turn

DiscoInferno:

Talking in-character is a free action right?

DM:

Yes

Darth GW7:

...

Nirrti:

well, it's no action

Lampshade:

Yeah

Darth GW7:

Why wouldn't it be

DiscoInferno:

Ok

Nirrti:

so standard action to go up the stairs right

Lampshade:

Immediate free action then

Nirrti:

then i'll have another to move

DM:

Just move as normal

Nirrti:

well kind of hard considering the stairs are there

Nirrti:

as in, how many feet is it to climb the stairs

Nirrti:

20?

Nirrti:

40?

Nirrti:

10?

DM:

20 from the base

GRiM:

20

Nirrti:

so i'll be able to move 60 after getting up the stairs?

DM:

Yeah

Nirrti:

there then

DM:

Alright

DM:

Disco's turn

Lampshade:

Disco

* Kiera calls out to Z'ar Kor in Draconic

Darth GW7:

Wait

Darth GW7:

WHAT

Lampshade:

Suggestion, do that when it's not your turn so this thing actually moves forward

DiscoInferno whispers: Dragon-Man!

Canuhearmenow:

Darth, she's smart

Canuhearmenow:

And apparently knows Draconic

Canuhearmenow:

Z'ar takes this as a threat

Canuhearmenow:

And proceeds to eat Kiera

DiscoInferno:

I learned it form a book

* Z'ar Kor is taken aback

Darth GW7:

HOW ARE YOU SIIIIR

Darth GW7:

I CAN SPEEAAK DRACOOONIIICC

Darth GW7:

Sorry ignore me I'm from barcelona

Nirrti:

BR

Nirrti:

I REPORT U

Nirrti:

HUEHUE

DiscoInferno:

Can I make it to the next floor?

Darth GW7:

Barcelona is in brazil now

Nirrti:

yes I know it's brazil and not barcelona

Nirrti:

but for some reason it just reminded me of that

Canuhearmenow:

Whose turn is it

DiscoInferno:

Mine

Canuhearmenow:

Ah

Canuhearmenow:

ok

You whisper to DiscoInferno: You speak my language, ranger? Where did you come from?

DiscoInferno whispers: Learned it from a book

DM:

Do allies block running?

GRiM:

no

Nirrti:

they don't?

Nirrti:

I thought they did

Nirrti:

you said they do which is why I couldn't run in the ground floor

You whisper to DiscoInferno: I take it that you are fighting on our side, then?

GRiM:

charging != running

Nirrti:

I wasn't talking about charging

Nirrti:

what would I charge at anyway

DiscoInferno whispers: Of course

DM:

No, allies don't block it, but it needs to be in a straight line, and it ends your turn.

Nirrti:

well it would've still been easier than having to do it the way I did

DiscoInferno:

There, moved

Nirrti:

IE, two turns to reach the stairs

Lampshade:

Me next?

Lampshade:

Or Jekko

You whisper to DM: Then we shall be glad to have your bow on our side.

Nirrti:

jekko

You whisper to DM: wait

You whisper to DM: damn it

DM whispers: Ha

You whisper to DM: Automatically sent it to you instead of disco

DM whispers: D'aw, it's like you care.

You whisper to DiscoInferno: Then we shall be glad to have your bow on our side.

DM:

No, Jekko's turn

You whisper to DM:

Jekk0:

run next

DM:

Alright

DiscoInferno whispers: Thank you, Dragon-man

DM:

Lamp's turn now

Lampshade:

Done

DM:

Grim's turn

GRiM:

ok

Canuhearmenow:

Oh my god I'm still going to be on ground floor by the end of my next turn

You whisper to DiscoInferno: ...You can call me Z'ar, by the way. Z'ar Kor. My true name is a little longer so that shall suffice.

GRiM:

next floor?

Nirrti:

:iiam:

* Z'ar Kor and Kiera have been conversing in a bizarre tongue for the past minute or so

GRiM:

why was i moved?

Canuhearmenow:

wait

Canuhearmenow:

A minute?

DM:

Wrong stairs

Canuhearmenow:

In that case I'd be up there already!

Canuhearmenow:

Huzzah

DM:

Presumably not literally.

Canuhearmenow:

GRiM:

yeah my turn was moving there

DiscoInferno whispers: I call myself Kiera, that is what you may call me

GRiM:

duh

DM:

Wait

Canuhearmenow:

Do you have to run in a straight line

DM:

Yes, Canu

Canuhearmenow:

if not, I"m running

Canuhearmenow:

FUCK

GRiM:

ok

Lampshade:

Yes

GRiM:

watch closely

GRiM:

I AM MOVING

GRiM:

TO THE OTHER STAIRS#

* Canuhearmenow rolls: DM 30 feet => Invalid expression: DM 30 feet.

DM:

Okay

GRiM:

tada

DiscoInferno:

Any way to zoom out this map? a laptop makes right-click dragging tedious

Nirrti:

mouse wheel

DM:

Or -

DiscoInferno:

I thank ye

DiscoInferno:

-

DiscoInferno:

?

DM:

The minus key.

Nirrti:

numpad minus and plus work too

DiscoInferno:

I have no numpad

Canuhearmenow:

Who trn

Canuhearmenow:

tren

Canuhearmenow:

tarn

Canuhearmenow:

turgugrn

DM:

Canu's. But first.

* DM rolls: d6 => 5

Nirrti:

use laptop's function numpad then

DM:

Take 5 damage, everyone.

Darth GW7:

tasdtuthturtnr

Darth GW7:

Hey lamp did you heal me

DM whispers: ...what?

DiscoInferno:

So where is the floor above mine?

DM:

The stairs that Grim's at right now. I'll draw it in on his next turn.

Elias:

Hey! Wait up!

Lampshade:

No

Nirrti:

DM

Lampshade:

Healing is a touch spell

Nirrti:

i'll be making it to the next floor on my turn

Nirrti:

and be able to move 55 feet there

DM:

Or then, yeah.

Nirrti:

no wait

Nirrti:

25ft

Nirrti:

no wait

Nirrti:

what

Nirrti:

the stairs were 20ft right

Nirrti:

so then it's 35ft

DM:

If Canu is done, it's Darth

Canuhearmenow:

I done

Lampshade:

Darth, delay until my turn

Darth GW7:

Ready action?

Canuhearmenow:

Oh my god why is this going so slow

Canuhearmenow:

We're not even in combat

Lampshade:

No

Lampshade:

Delay

Darth GW7:

I delay until lamp heals me

DM:

Okay

DM:

That puts you after Ahwassa in the Initiative count, right?

Lampshade:

Yes

Lampshade:

For one turn

DM:

Right

DM:

Nirrti's turn

Nirrti:

well then up the stairs we go

Nirrti:

where's the next floor

DiscoInferno:

Up, up, up, up the stairs we go, until we come to...

DiscoInferno:

the tunnel

DM:

Go on up

Darth GW7:

tunnle

Nirrti:

well I can't run up the stairs if there's no next floor to run to

Nirrti:

oh there

Lampshade:

It's the one below the ground floor?

DM:

The stench of rotting flesh greets you on the next floor. A group of zombies with dull hunger in their eyes crowd around a horrific creature near the centre of the room. This creature is an amalgamation of rotting flesh wrapped by bonds of steel to twisted limbs. As you enter the room, it begins to move towards you, crawling slowly on all four of its awkward appendages.

Nirrti:

good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun

Lampshade:

Unkillable Zombie?

DM:

Yes

DM:

It just means they have more health and regain health over time, don't worry.

Nirrti:

i've still got those 35ft, right

DM:

Yup

Nirrti:

there

DM:

Okay

Nirrti:

I guess it's time to rage on next turn

Lampshade:

Who's next?

DM:

Disco

DiscoInferno:

fffff

Lampshade:

You moving?

DiscoInferno:

Yup

Nirrti:

what caused me to lose constitution again

DM:

Wraiths

Nirrti:

right

Nirrti:

well, i'll be getting those temporarily back when I rage

DiscoInferno:

Umm

DiscoInferno:

Could someone move me to the next floor again?

DM:

Yes

Nirrti:

you're already there

DiscoInferno:

The one with the nasty zombie on it

Nirrti:

yep, you're there

Nirrti:

well, seems like there's two of your tokens

DiscoInferno:

Oh

DiscoInferno:

Not anymore

DiscoInferno:

I move 40 feet that move, I can't attack then, right?

DM:

Indeed.

DM is disconnected.

GRiM is disconnected.

Nirrti is disconnected.

Canuhearmenow is disconnected.

Jekk0 is disconnected.

Lampshade is disconnected.

DiscoInferno is disconnected.

Nirrti has connected.

Canuhearmenow has connected.

Lampshade has connected.

Jekk0 has connected.

DM has connected.

GRiM has connected.

GRiM:

ok

Jekk0:

my turn

DM:

Once Disco has finished moving

DiscoInferno has connected.

DiscoInferno:

So I can move another 20 spaces, right?

DM:

Mhm.

DiscoInferno:

save me big man

DM:

Jekko's turn

DiscoInferno:

Done

Jekk0:

done

* Lampshade rolls: 2d8+5 => 11 + 5 = 16

Lampshade:

Darth is healed 16 hp

DM:

Alright

Lampshade:

Done

Jekk0:

loot the mage

Darth GW7:

done

Lampshade:

Later

Lampshade:

Got turnin' to do

Canuhearmenow:

Ooh

* DM rolls: 2d6 + 2 => 10 + 2 = 12

Canuhearmenow:

This is the good time for Web'

Nirrti:

well you're a bit late on that already

Nirrti:

since i'm on the field

Jekk0:

well ill loot im not any good against undead

Nirrti:

do you have any bolts jekko?

Nirrti:

just take potshots at them from distance or something

Lampshade:

That's still 1d6 damage

Lampshade:

Not very much

Nirrti:

well it's more than he'd do with the toothpick due to no flanking/backstab

Lampshade:

True

Nirrti:

so whose turn

Nirrti:

grim?

DM:

Yes

GRiM:

ok

Jekk0:

maybe the mage has some usefull items

GRiM:

actually

GRiM:

gonna stay on the stairs

GRiM:

can i shoot from here?

DiscoInferno:

sissy

Canuhearmenow:

Says the guy hiding behind Omg'ah

DM:

-2 penalty.

Canuhearmenow:

Omg'ahr

Lampshade:

Do 5ft step

GRiM:

ok i'll move

Nirrti:

well, won't be hiding for long due to me CHARGING on next tur

Nirrti:

n

DM:

That works, yeah.

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

here then

GRiM:

2 shots to the necrosis thing

* GRiM rolls: d20+8 => 14 + 8 = 22

* GRiM rolls: d20+8 => 13 + 8 = 21

DM:

Both hit

* GRiM rolls: d8 => 1

* GRiM rolls: d8 => 7

Canuhearmenow:

Impressive

Canuhearmenow:

Wait

Canuhearmenow:

Wait

Canuhearmenow:

How close is it?

Canuhearmenow:

+1 damage?

Lampshade:

No point blank

DM:

No

Lampshade:

35 fee

Lampshade:

feet

Canuhearmenow:

aw

GRiM:

so, did it do good damage?

DM:

Yeah

GRiM:

bodger moves to meatshield his master

Lampshade:

Average damage

GRiM:

i'm done

DM:

And zombies only get one action per round, so, Canu's turn again.

Nirrti:

well, I guess I won't be charging after all

Canuhearmenow:

RUn

Canuhearmenow:

RUN*

Nirrti:

run who

Canuhearmenow:

Now next turn I can join fight

Nirrti:

oh, you

Canuhearmenow:

Done

DM:

Darth's turn

Darth GW7:

If I'm running how far do I get

Darth GW7:

On the next floor

DM:

You don't

DM:

Running needs to be in a straight line

Darth GW7:

ugh

Darth GW7:

Is here fine?

DM:

Sure

DM:

Done?

Lampshade:

Yes, he is done

Darth GW7:

Yep

DM:

Nirrti's turn

Darth GW7:

Why does running have to be in a straight line

Nirrti:

RAAAAAAAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Darth GW7:

is it that hard to turn around corners while running

Lampshade:

Using a standard action to move is running

Lampshade:

Running as a full round is running even faster

DiscoInferno:

How many and what actions do we get again?

Canuhearmenow:

Nirrti

Nirrti:

gonna go with power attack aswell

DM:

By default, Standard, Move, Minor.

Canuhearmenow:

Kill them all

Canuhearmenow:

All of them

Nirrti:

the normal -2 +4dmg

DM:

There are a few more, but they don't apply to normal situations.

Nirrti:

going for zombie 4 first

* Nirrti rolls: d20+14 => 20 + 14 = 34

Canuhearmenow:

...

Nirrti:

oh look

DM:

Right

Lampshade:

Yes!

Nirrti:

now it rolls 20 when I can't crit

Nirrti:

thanks dice

Nirrti:

thanks

Nirrti:

fucking

DM:

Roll for damage anyway.

Canuhearmenow:

Cleave

Lampshade:

Oh right, undeads

Jekk0:

unkillable

* Nirrti rolls: 4d6+15+1+4 => 18 + 15 + 1 + 4 = 38

DM:

Well, uh.

DM:

I need to rename them, it seems.

Darth GW7:

I like the +1

Nirrti:

and then cleaveeeeeeee

* Nirrti rolls: d20+14 => 11 + 14 = 25

DM:

Target?

Nirrti:

zombie 5

Nirrti:

no wait

DM:

Okay

Nirrti:

I don't have reach do I

DiscoInferno:

I'm sticking close to the big guy

Lampshade:

¨You do

Nirrti:

oh

Lampshade:

Because enlarge

Nirrti:

well then zombie 5

DiscoInferno:

Not a good film

DiscoInferno:

Not even any zombies in it

Nirrti:

did that hit?

DM:

heh

Lampshade:

Why is it called Zombie 5 then?

DM:

Yeah

DiscoInferno:

No idea

Elias:

Ahwassa! Is it just me or do I hear combat upstairs?

* Nirrti rolls: 3d6+15+1+4 => 9 + 15 + 1 + 4 = 29

* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 3 + 3 = 6

Ahwassa:

I don't hear anything

OMG'ahr:

I AM DESTRUCTION INCARNATE

Ahwassa:

Oh, now I do

DM:

Yup.

Ahwassa:

Yeah, sounds like combat

DM:

Done?

Nirrti:

yeah

DM:

Disco's turn.

Canuhearmenow:

If only you had Great Cleave, nirrti

Nirrti:

yeah

DiscoInferno:

Hmm

GRiM:

why are 2 zombies deaded?

Canuhearmenow:

Arror

Canuhearmenow:

Necrossi

GRiM:

i thought they were invincible

Nirrti:

Grim because OMG'ahe

Nirrti:

*OMG'ahr

GRiM:

lol

Lampshade:

They were simply badly named

DM:

Nirrti killed the unkillable.

* Kiera attacks zombie (2) with her longbow

GRiM:

haha

DM:

Alright

DiscoInferno:

Gotta save the badger

DiscoInferno:

1d8 right?

Canuhearmenow:

1d20

DM:

Roll to hit first

DiscoInferno:

20?

Canuhearmenow:

With modifiers

Nirrti:

that is not dead which can eternal lie

DM:

1d20 + Dex mod + Base attack bonus

Nirrti:

and with strange eons even death may die

DM:

d20 + 3 + 5, effectively

Canuhearmenow:

For you that'd be d20 + 8

Nirrti:

man I wish I could trample

* DiscoInferno rolls: 1D20 + 3 + 5 => 20 + 3 + 5 = 28

Canuhearmenow:

...

Nirrti:

gj dice

Canuhearmenow:

Roll again

Lampshade:

WHat the fuck guys

DM:

Why is the D a capital?

* DM rolls: 1D6 => 1

Nirrti:

they're giving us the crits when we can't crit

DiscoInferno:

I don't know

DM:

AH

Lampshade:

Can't crit undeads

DM:

Doesn't matter

Canuhearmenow:

oh

DiscoInferno:

What do I roll?

Nirrti:

nothing

Darth GW7:

...

Canuhearmenow:

d8

Darth GW7:

Wait

Nirrti:

can't crit undead

Darth GW7:

Talking of trample

Darth GW7:

Where the fuck is steve

DiscoInferno:

Oh

Nirrti:

Darth, I'm sorry

DiscoInferno:

Just 1D8?

Canuhearmenow:

Darth, Steve is your charge

Nirrti:

I was hungry

Canuhearmenow:

Disco yeah

DM whispers: Steve is the BBEG now.

Lampshade:

You left him behind you cruel bastard

* DiscoInferno rolls: 1D8 => 7

Darth GW7:

Steve... STEVE?!

Nirrti:

he's in the glue factory

Z'ar Kor:

STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!

DiscoInferno:

7, mmkay

Nirrti:

darth

Nirrti:

you need an ocarina

Nirrti:

then play http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITTRalxQOes

Xannan Hawkflight:

who is steve?

DM:

Right. 7 damage.

DiscoInferno:

Steve the red pikmin?

Nirrti:

steve the useless horse

DM:

Anything else, Disco?

DiscoInferno:

Nope, stay next to OMG

DM:

Okay

Darth GW7:

Nirrti

DM:

Jekko's turn.

Darth GW7:

He gives me a bonus to hit while riding him

Darth GW7:

Not useless at all

Lampshade:

This place seems to have a lot of room to ride in

Nirrti:

yeah, and we can cook him if we run out of rations

Darth GW7:

Also he jumped over a motherfucking chasm

Jekk0:

loot or come up stairs?

Lampshade:

loot

Jekk0:

ok

Darth GW7:

You have a dagger

Darth GW7:

They regenerate health

Darth GW7:

This is not your battle, child

Nirrti:

I don't see any health regeneration going on

Nirrti:

they seem to fall apart on touch

DM:

No, you don't. Not yet.

Nirrti:

is that yet or anymore

* Jekk0 rolls: 1d20+10 => 12 + 10 = 22

Jekk0:

search

Jekk0:

mage

Nirrti:

I'm assuming the two dead ones will get back up soon

Canuhearmenow:

Decap them

Canuhearmenow:

Or kill Necrosis

Canuhearmenow:

That's the thing

DiscoInferno:

You gotta shoot them in the head

Nirrti:

well I think they're a bit of mush already

Jekk0:

burn them to ash

Nirrti:

since you know, massive damage

Canuhearmenow:

So whose turn is it

Nirrti:

lamp

Nirrti:

if jekko is done

Lampshade:

Done

DM:

Okay

Jekk0:

done

Jekk0:

i found scorlls

Lampshade:

What scrolls?

DM:

Can't tell yet

Jekk0:

need magical expertice

Elias:

Kind of across the room here

Jekk0:

yea

Nirrti:

5ft step didn't trigger aoo, did it

Jekk0:

nope

Nirrti:

*doesn't

Lampshade:

no

Nirrti:

good

Jekk0:

lamp your turn

Lampshade:

I did my turn

DM:

The air around the Carnex begins to drain of colour. Everyone within 30 feet of it takes a -2 penalty to attack rolls.

GRiM:

fuuck

Darth GW7:

Fuck you too special abilities

GRiM:

my turn now then

Darth GW7:

Does the carnex have any resistances?

DM:

Additionally, it reaches out a twisted limb towards Zombie 2. The arrow wound begins to close up.

DM:

Need a religion check for that

Canuhearmenow:

KILL IT NIRRTI

Canuhearmenow:

KILL IT

* Lampshade rolls: d20+9 => 17 + 9 = 26

Darth GW7:

Lamp

Darth GW7:

ninja

GRiM:

its my turn now right?

DM:

Yup

Nirrti:

?

GRiM:

ok

Canuhearmenow:

My turn

Canuhearmenow:

?

Canuhearmenow:

Wait

Canuhearmenow:

oh

Nirrti:

kill what

GRiM:

1 shot

GRiM:

so i can still do +8

GRiM:

on 1 at least.

Nirrti:

well, not really a big minus to me

GRiM:

on the carnex

GRiM:

again

Lampshade:

One shot?

GRiM:

and it's close , so + 1 to Damage

Lampshade:

Why?

GRiM:

because rapid shot is -2

GRiM:

to attack roll

GRiM:

so it would be d20+6

* GRiM rolls: d20 +8 => 17 + 8 = 25

DM:

Okay

* GRiM rolls: d8+1 => 5 + 1 = 6

Lampshade:

I like how you managed to take the one favored enemy that we will never meet

Nirrti:

what is that

Darth GW7:

Animal

Darth GW7:

heh

DiscoInferno:

I took animal favoured enemies...

Darth GW7:

Kill bodger

Darth GW7:

wait

Nirrti:

ah

Darth GW7:

Animals are your favoured enemies

Darth GW7:

And yet you have a badger as a pet

DM:

It just means he's spent a lot of time hunting them.

Nirrti:

bodger is xannan's pet

GRiM:

yeah

Lampshade:

He also get sense motive bonus against them

Darth GW7:

Disco you could ask hjort if you can change it if you like

Lampshade:

That'll be useful

GRiM:

yep

DiscoInferno:

Nah

GRiM:

now

Nirrti:

xannan can sense motive his badger better

Darth GW7:

please do

Darth GW7:

two people with favoured enemy as animal

DM:

You can change it as you level up. Retrain it.

Nirrti:

YOU'RE LYING TO ME BADGER

Darth GW7:

so pointless

Nirrti:

AREN'T YOU

Darth GW7:

You could make it dragon

GRiM:

bodger will attack carnex

Darth GW7:

That would be useful

DM:

Right, the arrow flies into the twisted mass of limbs.

Darth GW7:

oh god I just looked at the image of the carnex

Darth GW7:

:wtc:

DM:

Yu[

Lampshade:

You know, we have forgotten to take the melee penalty into account

DM:

Yup

Lampshade:

Shooting into melee

Lampshade:

-4

DM:

This is true

GRiM:

WHAT?

DiscoInferno:

But I've never fought anything but animals until I stumbled here

GRiM:

nope

DM:

Except, I don't think the size of badgers counts

GRiM:

they arent that close

DM:

In this case

GRiM:

5feet

GRiM:

i am 10 feet

Lampshade:

Melee is when they threaten each other

DM:

It means shooting into melee combat, Grim.

Darth GW7:

Why did you guys both have to make such unoriginal rangers

Darth GW7:

DM:

Not shooting while in melee range

DM:

Anything else, grim?

Darth GW7:

Also disco

Darth GW7:

>No deity

Darth GW7:

O LAWD DIS GUN B GUD

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

well

GRiM:

badger is attacking the zombie hten

Canuhearmenow:

Disco, diety could be Imatar

DM:

Well, the Athar and Rilmani don't worship a deity, and they get along quite fine.

DiscoInferno:

I grew up in a forest OK?!

GRiM:

so as not to interfere with my arrows

Canuhearmenow:

Imatar is goddess of forests and such

DiscoInferno:

I've never seen anyone other than you guys my whole life

* GRiM rolls: d20+4 => 11 + 4 = 15

Darth GW7:

FOREVER ARONE

* GRiM rolls: d20+4 => 20 + 4 = 24

Darth GW7:

Nice

* GRiM rolls: d20-1 => 19 - 1 = 18

DM:

They all hit.

DiscoInferno:

How the heck am I meant to know about a goddess?

Canuhearmenow:

Books

Lampshade:

Maybe you had a vision

GRiM:

damage roll?

Darth GW7:

She may have appeared to you

DM:

...is the badger still ragin?

Darth GW7:

in a tree

GRiM:

yes

DiscoInferno:

God don't do nuthin

Darth GW7:

...

Darth GW7:

Youmustbenewhere.png

Canuhearmenow:

Aka a Dryad fucking with you

Nirrti:

well so far all Khorne has done is fucked up my rolls

DiscoInferno:

Yes, I am new here

DiscoInferno:

deal with it

Darth GW7:

Gods can and will fuck you up if they feel like it

Darth GW7:

It's good to have one on your side

* GRiM rolls: d2-1 => 1 - 1 = 0

* GRiM rolls: d2-1 => 2 - 1 = 1

* GRiM rolls: d2-1 => 2 - 1 = 1

DM:

So can Archdevils, Darth.

Lampshade:

Our group has Kord on its side

GRiM:

right?

Lampshade:

The ost important god of all

Darth GW7:

Yeah well they can kiss my scaly green ass

Lampshade:

most*

DM whispers: heh

Nirrti:

kord is wannabe khorne

Lampshade:

The damage rolls were 1d2+1

Lampshade:

since rage

Darth GW7:

BAHAMUT KING OF THE DRAGONS

DiscoInferno:

Let's just kill these Unkillable Zombies and save this for another time

Darth GW7:

bahamut x tiamat OTP

Lampshade:

This is multitasking

DM:

1d2 + 1, twice, and 1d3 + 1

Canuhearmenow:

Lamp, an IC argument about this would be possibly funner then what we're doing now

Darth GW7:

GUYS

Lampshade:

True

Darth GW7:

guys

Darth GW7:

let's all just like

Darth GW7:

believe what we want to believe

Nirrti:

yeah, let's not listen to darth

Z'ar Kor:

GUYS

Canuhearmenow:

Let's just kill this stuff and then have this argument later

Z'ar Kor:

guys

Z'ar Kor:

what if like

Z'ar Kor:

what if

Z'ar Kor:

the whole world

Lampshade:

Tiamat is shit, it costs too much and the splash has way too little range

Z'ar Kor:

was just a dream

Canuhearmenow:

And then Z'ar was CHIM

DiscoInferno:

wohw

Lampshade:

Grim

DiscoInferno:

On no, not CHIM again

Lampshade:

Need you to roll shit

Z'ar Kor:

holy shit guys my mind just blew

Canuhearmenow:

GRIM

Darth GW7:

what's CHIM

Canuhearmenow:

Is it Grim's turn?

Nirrti:

whose turn was last

Lampshade:

He needs to reroll badger damage because he fucked it up

DiscoInferno:

Madness, that's what CHIM is

Canuhearmenow:

Holy shit this is such a cluster fuck

Darth GW7:

the fuck is CHIM

Darth GW7:

You're a cluster fuck

Lampshade:

DM, can you roll the damage for him?

Nirrti:

well badger has done it's turn, hasn't it

DiscoInferno:

Shutting up now

Nirrti:

so then it's zombies?

Canuhearmenow:

CHIM is the idea when a game character realizes his world doesn't technically exist

Lampshade:

Yeah, but the damage roll was fucked up

Canuhearmenow:

Vivec is CHIM, for example

Canuhearmenow:

Same with the Nerevarine

Canuhearmenow:

Because he has save and load

Nirrti:

well then fix dem damage rolls so that the game can continue

DM:

Shall we assume each of its attacks deal 1 damage?

Lampshade:

Yes

Canuhearmenow:

Yes please

Nirrti:

yeah sure

DM:

Okay

Lampshade:

Even though the minimum damage was two

Lampshade:

whatever

DM:

What

Canuhearmenow:

I don't understand how GRiM is one second rolling then disappears for a minute

Lampshade:

1d2+1

Lampshade:

since rage

Nirrti:

it's a very small badger

DM:

Right, right.

Nirrti:

I bet grim is dorffing again

Lampshade:

Next

Nirrti:

zombies then

GRiM:

i'm here

GRiM:

i'm her

GRiM:

e

* GRiM rolls: d2 +1 => 1 + 1 = 2

Lampshade:

finally

Nirrti:

stop dorffing and pay attention to dnd

* GRiM rolls: d2+14 => 2 + 14 = 16

GRiM:

fuck

DiscoInferno:

dorffing?

* GRiM rolls: d2+1 => 1 + 1 = 2

Nirrti:

dwarf fortress

* GRiM rolls: d2+1 => 1 + 1 = 2

DiscoInferno:

ganondorf

GRiM:

WOO

DM:

Hey, right

DiscoInferno:

Oh

DM:

The zombies attack

DM:

In this order - Grim, Badger, Nirrti

Nirrti:

can zombies crit

DiscoInferno:

nooo, not the badger!

Lampshade:

yes

* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 3 + 3 = 6

* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 5 + 3 = 8

* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 13 + 3 = 16

GRiM:

NOOOO

Nirrti:

oh look, they hit

Nirrti:

because my 15 AC due to rage

DM:

Why do zombies insist on being awful?

GRiM:

lol

* DM rolls: d6 + 3 => 6 + 3 = 9

DM:

Nirrti takes 9 damage.

DM:

Canu's turn

Darth GW7:

brb din dins

* Elias runs up the stair

Elias:

Hey guys wha-

Elias:

What in the nine hells is that

Canuhearmenow:

I fire scorching ray at Necrosis

DM:

AoE?

Canuhearmenow:

Nope

* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 4 => 19 + 4 = 23

Canuhearmenow:

Ranged touch

Canuhearmenow:

Fire

Lampshade:

Funfact: touch spells can crit

Lampshade:

with nat 20

Lampshade:

Oh, and it has no resistances so it's good

DiscoInferno:

I assumed the no-crit thing was due to our enemies being undead

Canuhearmenow:

Yes

* Canuhearmenow rolls: 4d6 => 16

Canuhearmenow:

Damage

Darth GW7:

back

DM:

Alright

Ahwassa:

Be careful, when that thing dies, it will explode

DM:

Funny thing, actually.

OMG'ahr:

So a proper Blood Shower then? Khorne will be pleased!

Canuhearmenow:

I'd prefer a golden shower

Ahwassa:

Explode as in fill the room with negative energy

Darth GW7:

You and your corn

Ahwassa:

You will not like it

Xannan Hawkflight:

If MY badger FUCKING explodes , I'll kill something

Canuhearmenow:

Khorne Flakes

DM:

Yeah, sorry, the badger's probably gonna die.

Darth GW7:

khorne dogs

* DM rolls: 2d6 + 2 => 7 + 2 = 9

Kiera:

I have no idae what's going on so I'm just going to go along with all this...

DM:

Everyone takes 9 damage, and the zombies gane 9 temp. health.

Z'ar Kor:

It's what we all do.

Xannan Hawkflight:

BODGER! ENDURE!

Ahwassa:

You can still just walk away, I have no idea why you came with us anyways

DM:

Not Jekko, he's at a safe distance.

Darth GW7:

BODGER used ENDURE!

Darth GW7:

BODGER endured the hit!

Lampshade:

DM, no save?

DM:

None.

DiscoInferno:

Curses

Nirrti:

33hp left

DM:

Darth's turn.

Elias:

I don't think it's smart to turn down an extra bow Ahwassa, at least not yet

Nirrti:

if I go less than 10hp guys, it's gonna hurt when my rage ends

GRiM:

is bodger ok?

Ahwassa:

I don't want to get more people involved with this

Elias:

I'm not... Feeling too good

GRiM:

also if his health is low, no more raging. P

Canuhearmenow:

10 HP left

* DM rolls: d8 + 2 => 7 + 2 = 9

DM:

Bodger's dying.

Darth GW7:

you MONSTER

GRiM:

GRiM:

D:

Canuhearmenow:

Wait, did my Scorching Ray cause the Necrosis guy to explode?

DiscoInferno:

DM:

Yes

Canuhearmenow:

Yay

Lampshade:

Gee, thanks

DiscoInferno:

ewwww

DM:

So, Canu killed Bodger.

Xannan Hawkflight:

BODGER#

Lampshade:

Also, Jekko didn't take that damage right?

DM:

No

DiscoInferno:

That show sucked though...

DM:

Too far away

Elias:

That was quite a show, wasn't it?

* Elias seems quite proud of himself

Xannan Hawkflight:

*to Elias* What happend!?

Elias:

Just raining firey arcane death on our enemies

Xannan Hawkflight:

with friendly fire...

DM:

Darth's turn

Canuhearmenow:

fiery*

Elias:

No battle is without it's sacrifices, Xannan

Kiera:

I didn't know such a thing was really possible!

Darth GW7:

Er

Darth GW7:

Can I do this?

Ahwassa:

You get used to it if you spend any time with us

Ahwassa:

Crazy things happening

DM:

No

Darth GW7:

I FIVE FOOT STEP

Elias:

That is but a taste of magic, Half-Elf, it's quite a glorious thing

Xannan Hawkflight:

HE WAS INNOCENT *SOBS*

DM:

...no.

Xannan Hawkflight:

HE WAS A... A GOOD BADGER

DM:

You're on stairs Darth.

Darth GW7:

fucking stairs

GRiM:

do i ever get another companion?

Ahwassa:

Stop whining, we have bigger problems

Darth GW7:

when are they gonna invent the lift

DiscoInferno:

We can rebuild him, we have the technology

Darth GW7:

sup zombie

* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+13 => 10 + 13 = 23

DM:

Hit

* Elias turns around and notices the zombie next to him

* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+11 => 6 + 11 = 17

Darth GW7:

You blind elias?

DM:

Wow

DM:

17 damage?

DiscoInferno:

Oh, I also have humans as a favoured enemy

DM:

That'll come in handy.

DM:

Nirrti's turn when you're done, Darth.

DiscoInferno:

those poor silly humans

Canuhearmenow:

Darth, just 60 feet

Canuhearmenow:

But getting worse as time goes on

Nirrti:

is that -2 attack mod still active

DM:

No

Nirrti:

good

Darth GW7:

Why are these zombies supposedly unkillable again?

DM:

Extra health

DM:

Rapid healing

Darth GW7:

so OP

DM:

Nirrti?

Nirrti:

is it my turn?

DM:

Think so

Nirrti:

well, 5ft step then and I'll attack mr.3 with power attack

DiscoInferno:

hopefully we can go shopping soon

Elias:

These zombies aren't making this easy

Lampshade:

Why?

* Nirrti rolls: d20+14 => 19 + 14 = 33

Jekk0:

well i found nice team work skill

DM:

That's a hit

Jekk0:

for casters

Nirrti:

gee taunt me some more dice, won't you

DiscoInferno:

arrows and trap-making supplies

* Nirrti rolls: 3d6+15+1+4 => 10 + 15 + 1 + 4 = 30

GRiM:

if you like i'll sell you some of mine

GRiM:

i over bought

Jekk0:

dead cleave

Canuhearmenow:

Cleave

Canuhearmenow:

Cleave

Canuhearmenow:

5 foot step

DiscoInferno:

I need money first

Nirrti:

don't need 5ft step anymore

Canuhearmenow:

Disco all this stuff has value

GRiM:

or i could loan you some

* Nirrti rolls: d20+14 => 2 + 14 = 16

Nirrti:

:|

GRiM:

and you pay me back later

Canuhearmenow:

pay back with FAVORS

Nirrti:

that was at zombie 2

GRiM:

yeah

GRiM:

favours !

GRiM:

:d

DiscoInferno:

I can heal peeps

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

heal me next turn

GRiM:

and i'll give you...

DiscoInferno:

Ok

GRiM:

20 arrows

Canuhearmenow:

nirrti

DiscoInferno:

Woo

Canuhearmenow:

Cleave

Nirrti:

I did

DM:

The attack doesn't seem to do anything to it.

Nirrti:

DM hasn't said if it hit or not

Nirrti:

I did 30dmg on zombie 3

DM:

I know.

Nirrti:

so it didn't die?

DM:

Nope.

* Lampshade rolls: d20+9 => 13 + 9 = 22

Lampshade:

religion

Nirrti:

right

Canuhearmenow:

God dammit not Religion

Jekk0:

oh yea the extra 9 helth

Jekk0:

*health

DiscoInferno:

I remember that apple I ate today...

Ahwassa:

They got energy when the carnifex exploded

DiscoInferno:

nice job fixing it, hero

DiscoInferno:

breaking*

Canuhearmenow:

Welp, time to do some dorfing

DM:

ha

DM:

Disco's turn.

Canuhearmenow:

Tell me when it's my turn

GRiM:

disco

DiscoInferno:

Ok

GRiM:

heal me for free arrows!

DiscoInferno:

How do I heal Xannan?

Nirrti:

heal me to keep your life

Canuhearmenow:

I need health more

Lampshade:

Do you have a healing spell prepared?

DiscoInferno:

Wait

Nirrti:

I'm assuming a scroll or something

DiscoInferno:

What does the heal skill do?

Jekk0:

i hope the scolls are healing ones

Canuhearmenow:

Heal skill is if you're dying

Canuhearmenow:

Or non-combat

DiscoInferno:

Ohhhh

Jekk0:

*scrolls

Lampshade:

Yeah, Heal is useless here

Nirrti:

I hope they're permanency scrolls

Nirrti:

or one of them

Nirrti:

then make me permanently large

DiscoInferno:

Can I save the badger?

Canuhearmenow:

yes, actually

DM:

You can try, sure.

Lampshade:

Fuck no, I wouldn't do that

DiscoInferno:

Woo

Lampshade:

There's a hefty xp cost

Nirrti:

CPR on the badger

DM:

Grim can get a free one anyway.

GRiM:

free what~?

DM:

Free badger.

DiscoInferno:

Wait? So how would that work?

GRiM:

ok

Nirrti:

does grim like have a bag of badgers or what

GRiM:

this one will have a good name

DM:

Bag of Badgers.

Canuhearmenow:

Rodrick

GRiM:

and it'll appear when we get outside.

DM:

I'm going to sell that at some point to you guys.

Jekk0:

whos turn?

Nirrti:

bag of holding

DM:

Disco's.

Nirrti:

full of badgers

DiscoInferno:

How would healing the badger work?

GRiM:

sell it to me!

DM:

Right, a skill check

Canuhearmenow:

Go to Badger

GRiM:

bag of holding full of badgers XD

Canuhearmenow:

d20 + heal modifier

GRiM:

then I CAN THROW BADGERS

DiscoInferno:

Is there any cost?

DM:

d20 + Relevant mod + Ranks in the skill.

Canuhearmenow:

No

GRiM:

OR FIRE THEM WITH MY BOW

DM:

No cost, usually.

DiscoInferno:

And I have a healer's kit

Canuhearmenow:

That's a modifer

Darth GW7:

Grim

Canuhearmenow:

modifier

Darth GW7:

then you drop the bag

Canuhearmenow:

It's added to the total score

Darth GW7:

BADGERS, BADGERS EVERYWHERE

GRiM:

YEAH! D:

DiscoInferno:

How much is it a modifer

GRiM:

AWESOME

Canuhearmenow:

+2

DiscoInferno:

Ok

Darth GW7:

I'd want a pet alligator

Canuhearmenow:

Pet snake

Canuhearmenow:

That evolves along with me

Darth GW7:

if not a dragon

DM:

You could probably get a dragon if you took leadership at a higher level.

Nirrti:

grim, good way to rob a shop

Nirrti:

bag of holding with badgers

Nirrti:

open window

Nirrti:

pour in badgers

Darth GW7:

...

Nirrti:

profit

Darth GW7:

For serious?

DM:

I think so

Lampshade:

Who next?

Darth GW7:

HOOOO BOY

Nirrti:

jekko

Darth GW7:

Wouldn't be a pet though

Darth GW7:

Still

Darth GW7:

Who the fuck cares

Lampshade:

Does a religion roll reveal how many HD do these zombies have?

Canuhearmenow:

Roll Disco

DiscoInferno:

I forgot what to roll

Nirrti:

heal

Canuhearmenow:

Give sheet

* DiscoInferno rolls: 1D20 + 5 + 2 => 18 + 5 + 2 = 25

DM:

...I think that'd be enough to stabilize it, right?

Canuhearmenow:

yes

Lampshade:

yeah

DM:

Fantastic

Darth GW7:

Hey

Darth GW7:

You have a hawk

DiscoInferno:

Can I carry him to saftey?

Darth GW7:

You should get a token for that

DiscoInferno:

It's outside

Darth GW7:

Bring it inside

DiscoInferno:

Later

DiscoInferno:

If you behave

Lampshade:

And who's after disco?

Nirrti:

lamp had a hawk too

DiscoInferno:

Can I pick up the badger?

Lampshade:

It died

Lampshade:

Twice

DM:

Er, I guess. But you can't move again.

DiscoInferno:

I saved it

* Kiera carries the badger and shields it with her body

Canuhearmenow:

but

Jekk0:

well im moving

Canuhearmenow:

You're in the middle of a combat zone

Lampshade:

Done?

Canuhearmenow:

Whose turn

Jekk0:

done next

Lampshade:

Mine

DM:

Lamp

DiscoInferno:

A good soldier never leaves abadger behind

Elias:

What are you doing with that damn badger! Leave it, it's fine!

* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 11 + 5 = 16

Lampshade:

Turning

Xannan Hawkflight:

It is now

* Lampshade rolls: 2d6+4+3 => 6 + 4 + 3 = 13

DM:

Oh god turning

Lampshade:

They died

Lampshade:

All of them

Darth GW7:

Er

Darth GW7:

Were you meaning for us to actually kill the unkillable zobmes?

DM:

YEah

Xannan Hawkflight:

*to Bodger* I was SO worried! NEVER DO THAT AGAIN

DiscoInferno:

right i need a piss

bodger:

arf?

DM:

...grim's turn.

GRiM:

ok

Jekk0:

i wonder how much xp we got from all of these monsters

DM:

A lot

GRiM:

is there anything i can do to heal?

GRiM:

or fix my STR mod?

Jekk0:

nope rest

Lampshade:

Nope

Jekk0:

8 hour rest

Nirrti:

no rest

Nirrti:

we're still in combat ffs

GRiM:

ok....

Canuhearmenow:

I need someone to heal me

DiscoInferno:

Back

GRiM:

but everything on this floor is dead

Nirrti:

how many times do I need to repeat it

Nirrti:

the whole tower is in combat

Canuhearmenow:

Ahwassa?

Canuhearmenow:

Kiera?

Canuhearmenow:

Anyone got heal?

Lampshade:

I have heals

DiscoInferno:

You're not a badger

DM:

The next floor up is the roof, by the way.

Canuhearmenow:

I know

DiscoInferno:

Finally

Canuhearmenow:

With the Dragon

DM:

Yes.

Canuhearmenow:

Ooooooh

Nirrti:

i'll be losing 10hp when my rage ends

DiscoInferno:

But you're not dying

Nirrti:

which it does in 3 rounds

Lampshade:

Note the capitalized D in Dragon

Jekk0:

and if we are lucky the half elf can teach us how to rest 4 hours and its still 8 hour rest

Lampshade:

That means it is the trope version of Dragon

Darth GW7:

Wait

Darth GW7:

oh

DM:

Yes, yes

Darth GW7:

Read canu's then Lamp's

Darth GW7:

Curse you guys

Darth GW7:

getting my hopes up

Canuhearmenow:

Get your rrerr on

Canuhearmenow:

Whose turn

Lampshade:

Trope Dragon being the BBEGs right hand

DiscoInferno:

dergons

Darth GW7:

yes

Darth GW7:

I know

Lampshade:

Grim, move

DiscoInferno:

hurrdurrgons

GRiM:

ok

GRiM:

fine

GRiM:

no way to heal

GRiM:

so i guess

DM:

Since this is the boss, it might be best to group up and do some tactical stuff before proceeding.

GRiM:

shouldn't we all rest then?

Lampshade:

But we already used our spells

Nirrti:

no can do, rage will be ending too sooooooooon

Canuhearmenow:

Grim's turn, everyone go to the restroom

Canuhearmenow:

You'll have time

DiscoInferno:

I have a badger

DiscoInferno:

He has hump attack

DM:

Ahaha

GRiM:

most lag in games is me waiting for DM to reply

Canuhearmenow:

Happy badger

Canuhearmenow:

Very, very happy

GRiM:

when i ask something

Darth GW7:

MONEY TRAIN

Darth GW7:

GROUP UP

Lampshade:

Most lag in games is when we try to grapple

Elias:

You can't shoot a bow holding that thing, Half-elf

Jekk0:

still in turns

Elias:

Give it back to Xannan and let's move on

Lampshade:

Can we regroup in three turns?

Canuhearmenow:

News flash: Elias is a dick

Nirrti:

my rage is ending in 3 turns, then i'll have to re-rage

Lampshade:

Let's just say that in three turns we take tactically sound positions and then restart combat

However, druids can tank and heal at the same time much better than clerics.

Lampshade:

It gets automatic empower and maximize for almost all healing spells for free

Nirrti:

man, Interstellar Marines will look good when that update comes out

Lampshade:

DM

Lampshade:

But druids don't get DMM

Canuhearmenow:

Why Disco

Canuhearmenow:

It's an apple

DiscoInferno:

It was a tasty apple

Canuhearmenow:

And Hjort

Canuhearmenow:

Scrolls

Canuhearmenow:

Is it an ELDER SCROLL?

Canuhearmenow:

Snicker snicker

DM:

Yes

Lampshade:

You better hope not, those things weigh 20lb

DiscoInferno:

It's a scroll of slightly tickle

Lampshade:

And you can't get rid of it

DM:

Two of them are divine, two are arcane

Canuhearmenow:

Turns out they're covered in explosive runes

DiscoInferno:

boom

Lampshade:

And we all die

Canuhearmenow:

Do I recognize the spells of the arcane one?

Nirrti:

Lamp, I actually got rid of it through a bug or something

Lampshade:

Oh?

Nirrti:

it diseappeared from my inventory, but it never appeared in the game world

Nirrti:

it just vanished

Jekk0:

2 scrolls for lamp

Lampshade:

Not that it actually weighed anything though

Lampshade:

Since quest item

DM:

The Arcane ones are Lightning Bolt, and Summon Monster 3.

Nirrti:

it does weigh in skyrim

DiscoInferno:

I have a grappling hook

Canuhearmenow:

YES

Lampshade:

It does?

Nirrti:

yeah

Canuhearmenow:

LIGHTNING BOLT

Lampshade:

I thought it was weightless

Canuhearmenow:

Time to do a wicked air lute solo

DM:

Also

* DM rolls: d6 => 1

Canuhearmenow:

And fire a bolt of lightning

Lampshade:

And the divine ones?

DM:

...everyone take 1 damage

DM:

I dunno, you'd have to roll for that.

Lampshade:

roll what?

* Elias gives the divine scrolls to Ahwassa

Elias:

You'll have more use for them then I do

DiscoInferno:

it may help you on your quest

Lampshade:

Don't they just have the name of the spell written on them?

Lampshade:

Like "Scroll of Cure Light Wounds"

Darth GW7:

You're really getting lucky with the d6s aren't you hjort

Nirrti:

isn't the damage halved while we're inside anyway

Lampshade:

Nah

DM:

Yeah

Lampshade:

The windows were broken

DM:

Minimum of 1

Lampshade:

But you said to me no

Jekk0:

and divine ones are?

DM:

They're intact on this floor.

* Elias breathes in deep, then begins climbing up the stairs

DM:

What was the roll?

Nirrti:

so who goes first

Nirrti:

whose turn is it

Lampshade:

Oh right, negative energy doesn't do anything to those

Lampshade:

What should I roll Hjort

Lampshade:

Spellcraft?

DM:

And/or religion

Canuhearmenow:

Oh, whose turn is it actually

* Lampshade rolls: d20+9 => 6 + 9 = 15

Canuhearmenow:

I guess I'll wait for someone else to go up

DM:

We'll start the init over again, for whoever wants to go first

Canuhearmenow:

Anyone want to go first?

Lampshade:

Time to get another very bad roll

Nirrti:

well who goes first

Darth GW7:

I'm guessing nirrti

Darth GW7:

Because y'know

Darth GW7:

he's kind of right at the front

Canuhearmenow:

was thinking a mage woudl be more comfortable with another mage

Darth GW7:

Oh yeah

Nirrti:

YA GITZ AIN'T NUFFIN BUT A BAG O' SQUIGZ

Canuhearmenow:

at least conversing

Darth GW7:

Try diplomacy

Darth GW7:

Nothing could possibly go wrong

* Elias thinks of what to say in any possible conversation

DiscoInferno:

I have inherant bonus to diplomacy...

Canuhearmenow:

*with the mage

Lampshade:

Elias has a shitloads of bonus to diplomacy

DiscoInferno:

Ahh

Canuhearmenow:

+9 dip

DiscoInferno:

Ok

Canuhearmenow:

+9 Intimidate

Canuhearmenow:

And +15 Bluff

GRiM:

and he probably fucked her in wizard school

Lampshade:

He's the resident talker who gets us into trouble all the time

GRiM:

i think thats me

Canuhearmenow:

I'm the horrible party face

Canuhearmenow:

Well

Nirrti:

I really really wish intimidate was str based

Canuhearmenow:

Party voice

Nirrti:

instead of charisma based

Canuhearmenow:

It can be Nirrti

DiscoInferno:

Can I hide and move silently to sneak attack her?

Canuhearmenow:

There's a feat for that

Lampshade:

There is a feat to get it str based

Nirrti:

is there

Lampshade:

Yes

Canuhearmenow:

Yes

Nirrti:

well fuck I need that then

Canuhearmenow:

Get Great Cleave first

Lampshade:

Intimidating Prowess

Canuhearmenow:

I guess I'll walk up first?

Lampshade:

Add your str mod to intimidate checks

Lampshade:

Yes

Lampshade:

You do that

Nirrti:

so wait

Nirrti:

you use both charisma and str?

Canuhearmenow:

Where do I post

Canuhearmenow:

Whichever is higher Nirrti

Nirrti:

well lamp said "add"

DM:

Top right corner, sorry.

Lampshade:

I'm not sure if it double dips

Canuhearmenow:

Hey

DM:

The vortex of energy is centred around a point just above the roof of the tower. In there, floating above the roof, is a woman, who seems to be the catalyst for the spell. A group of robed humans are standing around an intricate diagram in the centre of the rooftop, an area filled with all sorts of bones. As you watch, they begin to fit together in the shape of some huge creature. And, presiding over all this madness, standing tall among the destruction, clutching the flesh-covered book in one hand, is a Secret of Vecna.

Darth GW7:

holy shit

Canuhearmenow:

SKELETAL BLACK DRAGOn

Darth GW7:

there IS a dragon

Lampshade:

...skeltal black dragon

Nirrti:

well I'd think it would add to the roll instead of replacing it, since you know, it says "add"