Here Are The 8 Statements Your Relationship Needs

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:12

My wife loves words of affirmation. It’s very possible your spouse does too. Actually, there is not a soul on earth that dislikes hearing a genuine compliment. Yes, there are those of us who pretend we don’t like/need/want to hear positive words about ourselves, but that is mostly because we are lying, ashamed, or afraid.

Everything began from the word of our loving Father, so our hearts and soul are constantly in pursuit of the sounds of acceptance and encouragement. This does not mean that we are needy, it just means that love demands expression, action, reminding.

Whether it’s with your soul mate or a new acquaintance, your compliments have the power to bring hope and light in someone’s dark day.

However, as my friend Dale Partridge wrote, “It’s not that we don’t desire to share positive affirmations with our friends, family, or colleagues – it’s that we either: Simply forget to do it, we don’t know what to say, or, it feels awkward.”

Yes, I have lived through those 3 reasons (excuses). But when I dared to push through, my relationships got a Godly boost (which included healing, joy and fulfillment).

Now it’s your turn!

Use these 8 Statements Your Relationship Needs today:

1. “I’m so proud of you!”

This is especially powerful coming from a parent, but just as beautiful in the mouth of a friend. Try it! Next time you see your daughter, your pastor or your buddy doing something outside of their comfort zone, let them know how proud you are of them.

* And I’m proud of you for telling them 🙂

2. I like your new haircut.

You can say, “You look good,” but being specific about why they do, is more impacting. Sometimes people are trying new things (outfits, hairdo, piercings) and they are feeling slightly insecure about whether it works or not… let them know it does. And if you don’t think it does, then compliment their shoes and move on.

3. Can you teach me how to do that?

This is more than just asking for help, this is about acknowledging that their gift is noticeable and that you could benefit from their skills and understanding. A statement like this one demonstrates that you are not jealous and that you are humble enough to recognize their capability in a specific area.

It speaks honor and respect. And God knows that we could use more of both.

4. I love you.

Too simple? Too common? That’s what we think. But it’s very possible, that in this fast-pace, social-media-addicted-world, your friend has not heard those words from you in a long time.

Life is short. Sometimes too short. Make sure to make time for a sincere, “I love you.”

5. My favorite thing about you is ____________.

Again, specifics! The more you compliment directly, the deeper it goes in to the heart of the hearer. Look them in the eye and go for it.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

6. I believe in you!

No other statement speaks the volumes of love like this one. Do it right before their job interview; or 10 seconds before they go up on stage.

Sarcasm appears a lot in these scenarios. Push through. Be sincere. Tell them that you are rooting for their success.

7. I’m glad to have you as my (mom, leader, friend, etc.) because . . .

It helps to start with an old memory, “Remember that time we…” Once you are reminiscing, tell them how much you appreciate the role they have played in your growth and development. Identify yourself as their grateful son, their happy employee, their BFFs forever and ever.

This is a powerful and healthy way to restore old (and broken) relationships.

8. Tell me more…

We all have a story to tell. Sometimes painful, sometimes happy, and most of the time, right in between both. I think Simone Weil said it best:

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”

Turn your phone off. Position your body to listen. And ask them to tell you more.

This is humanity at its best.

Now, let me challenge you with this. How about you take five minutes right now and think of 8 people you can use these 8 statements with. A quick text is an easy way to start breaking through. If they are close to you, just get up right now (I believe in you!) and approach them with words of affirmation and love.

Carlos is a pastor, communicator, provocative preacher and the author of Simply Sonship and Drop The Stones. Together with his wife Catherine, they have two gorgeous boys and are awaiting a baby girl through adoption. Oh yeah, he’s also Puerto Rican and can’t wait to tell you all about it.