Good job we love them unconditionally eh? Because, let's face it, who else would we do these things for?

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1 Wipe their bottom

OK, OK, it's not like we were surprised when we realised we'd have to do this umpteen times a day once we had a baby.

But seriously, who else in the WORLD would you do this for?

2 Get up three times a night ...

What sane adult voluntarily goes from having a lovely, uninterrupted seven, eight or even nine hours sleep a night to having a couple of hours here and there, interrupted by crying, feeds and of course regularly stubbing your toe on the end of the bed as you get up in a sleepy fluster? Oh yes, that would be us.

3 ... or, in fact, get NO sleep. At. All.

Even if we have a relatively good night when we only have to get up twice and - hurrah - manage not to pierce our feet with the random toys strewn on the nursery floor, we STILL don't sleep.

We lie there worrying about when they're going to wake up. Or why they're NOT waking up.

Heaven forbid they lie in 'til after 7am: we're so panicked about whether they're OK that we start running through every worst-case scenario we've ever read about ... and wake them up just to be sure.

Need advice?

Our health visitors and nursery nurses are on line Monday to Friday evenings to answer your queries on feeding, sleep and child health.

4 Go tee-total

To be honest, the hangover just isn't worth it and even one glass of wine makes you feel ropey the next day. Nuff said. Bye bye, booze.

5 Pick off their snots

Along the same lines of the bum-wiping, really. We find ourselves constantly wiping away snots or picking crusty bits from their cute little noses. Without batting an eyelid. There is NO ONE else we would do this for, is there?

6 Jump around like a kangaroo ... or in fact any animal

Ahhh, we are grown adults and we act at all times with ... dignity, right? Wrong!

My toddler's bitten his tongue and is crying uncontrollably: cue trying to cheer him up by jumping around the lounge like a kangaroo, giving ourselves elephant ears, being a silly snake or generally pulling any funny face we think will make him laugh. Now, where's my Oscar?

7 Give up the nights out

We like to think we can still do our own thing and, while we occasionally get a night out with the girls - like, once or twice a year - generally we prefer to spend our nights in recovering from the day's adventures in front of the telly and preparing for tomorrow's installment of fun and frolics.

8 Make three meals a night

Now, if our partner were to throw our lovingly made spag bol on the floor or declare 'Don't like it!!' at the top of their voice when we dished up a bowl of homemade chicken casserole, we'd probably tell them to go jump, right?

But when our toddler tells us he simply WILL NOT eat our pasta bake DESPITE the fact it's the SECOND meal offered that teatime, we simply slink back into the kitchen and raid the cupboards again ...

9 Get up at 4am

We MIGHT get up at this ungodly hour for our dream job, and when we say dream job we really do mean out-of-this-orbit never-gonna-happen job.

But really, before we had babies the only time we'd get up before 7am would be to catch a flight to a very hot and VERY beautiful destination. Now 6:30 feels like a lie-in.

10 Let them scream at you ... because you praised them

Ah yes, now if our boss or a work colleague were to actually have a meltdown because we told them they did great work that day or we really admired their latest report, we'd think they'd gone ga-ga.

And yet, when we say something completely inoffensive to our toddlers - 'Did you have a nice day, darling?', or, 'Nice drawing!', they look at as us as though we've asked them to run to hell and back with no plimsoles. Cue mega-meltdown.

11 Watch Frozen or any other Disney movie 14 times a day

Again, perhaps in the early throes of a relationship, we might indulge a new partner by watching Star Wars endless times over, or 67 back-to-back episodes of Come Dine With Me, but that sort of nonsense really doesn't last long.

And yet, when our little one asks for ANOTHER Dora, we can rarely resist... after all, the TV's theirs now!