Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dirty Old Desi Men....

I was not in India when Tiwari’s filthy laundry got washed in public. But whatever filtered through sounded dreadfully gross. As more and more sordid details came tumbling out of that over crowded closet, I raised a cynical eyebrow and asked myself, “ So, what else is new?” Tiwari isn’t the first dirty old man in Indian politics to be caught with his dhoti down. And you bet he won’t be the last.There is something pretty nasty about power, politics and sex that leads to combustible situations of the nauseating kind. Not just in India, not just in the 21st century, but as a wide spread phenomenon across the world since time immemorial. Some stupid men get caught. That is perhaps the only difference. What shocks society at large is not that these chaps have a grimey record ofpromiscuity and sexual exploitation, but the fact that they are still ‘doing it’ at that age! It is not so much a moral issue, as a medical one. An ‘ageist’ thing. Believe me, nobody would have been as scandalized had Tiwari been a man in his forties or fifties. What we find abhorrent is the senior citizen, grandpa status of the old goat. And since our hypocritical moral brigade is not accustomed to dealing with such issues ( I mean, compareIndia’s outrage to Tiwari’s masti to the seventy-plusBerloscuni’s brazen handling of his sexual adventures in Italy), everybody is huffing and puffing away while hanging on to each yucky detail

Most of the comments are based on the man’s advanced years. A lot of them ( mainly from far younger men) are tinged with envy - “ What does Tiwari eat for breakfast -Viagra?” There is an incredulous, almost jealous tone to those remarks. What that suggests is pretty obvious – howcome he is still getting it up and I am not?” Hardly anybody bothers about the women who have serviced Tiwari – what they feel about their bodies being used by a man old enough to be their Daadu. Sickened ? Or is it just a case of business as usual, and to hell with the fellow’s doddering years? Our revulsion has a lot to do with the fact that at a time of his life when Tiwari ought to be looking towards meeting his maker, he is actually thinking of making out with the neighbourhood wench. Indian society being as rigid as it is, men and women have their life spans cut up neatly into appropriate compartments. Tiwari’s delayed ‘vanvaas’ upsets us. We feel the man has no business to be indulging in carnal affairs when his mind, body and soul should belong to God. Our imposition of these arbitrary ‘laws’ is so peculiarly rigid, that we find it impossible to accommodate an older man’s libido. Come on….let’s be honest, women are revolted at the thought of sleeping with a vintage model. And men are way too jealous of his performance! Everybody hates Tiwari for not conforming to society’s set definitions and standards.Period.

Strange and annoying as it is, we have ourselves to blame. There will always be a neighbourhood Tiwari leching away at nubile girls. And there will always be a set of highly offended auntyjis and unclejis ready to condemn such a person. Rarely will we spare a thought for the man’s unwilling bed partners, or even his wife and family. It is as if they are nothing more than bit players who don’t really count. We choose to obsess over the ‘pervert’s’ sexapades instead and wish him a terrible, painful end for committingall those sins. We assume morally superior positions and debate endlessly on what a terrible example he is setting. We talk about the guy’s depravity and decadence. But the bottom line is slightly different. The unspoken emotion is one defined more by awe than shock. In an almost perverse way, there are those who may be secretly saying, “ That dude rocks…!” Horrible, but true. Deal with it.

34 comments:

we dont mind his play with any female with consent but the question is playing in Raj bhavan and in what way his gubernatorial power has been used,misused ,abused in pursuing his old age fascination.And what sort of skeletons he has forgotten to leave in his cupboards and how much the exchequer has lost by way of favoritism through his indulgence.That is the outrage.May be one section would have been outraged of what they are not capable of , which the old man is capable of.

The basic thing is that men are animals. Age is no bar. In west, 80 year old tycoons marry 20 year olds. Even in India, older men go for younger girls.And most of us wont tolerate if our own parents have sex beyond a certain age. We expect them to be pure and make them sleep in separate rooms.Tiwari is old. And Pramod mahajan was young and handsome.Recently incidents of drunken passengers misbehaving with airhostesses has increased.Our police including IPS officers like Rathore are old hands at this game.Women are used, supplied to achieve contracts and business all over the world. Indians with screwed mental perceptions think that they are morally superior and hence have blinkered vision.Because at the end of it sexual act itself is degrading and demeaning but a necessary evil for giving us children, pleasure and pain.

Well I think there is no problem as long as both men and women agree and there is no force upon any of them to go for adventures like this. But, If someone takes undue advantage, It should be condemned no matter whether he is in 30s or 80s.

tsk tsk, mz de! isn't it time we had our own rupert murdoch? or mike douglas? or harrison ford? and i loved the bit about everyone being concerned about tiwari's health and the medical impact of all this geriatric romping on his heart! that's not the region we should focus on, i suppose. well, there are still 12 year old girls being married off to 70-80 year old men in our villages, a minority faith often hits the limelight when their hoary old men acquire 4 brides well below the age of consent. so, what else is new in our nation? TV shows endorse this, matrimonial columns support it (65 yrs widower looking for match 25-30 yrs). can't understand all this fuss.

Shobhaa, the ND Tiwari incident filled me with disgust, not because the man was doing it in his eighties, (any man/woman would desire to enjoy the sexual pleasures as long as they can) but because if Mr. Tiwari as a state Governor was caught in the act with girls of his grand duaghters' age, that too at a time when his state was burning, then how deep this rot must be running in our political circles, which is not being caught on the camera.

What i feel is that once a person enters public life he should lose all privacy and each and every moment of his should be subjected to scrutiny. After all they call themselves 'public servants'.

In exploitative situations one does not need to perform. One just needs to relax and enjoy the fruits of success. This is the root cause for such behaviour. Equal relationships require give and take which is demanding.

Your comments on mr.tiwari's misadventures are very much true and highly appreciative. U have skillfully denuded him. Sex is biggest magic and charm of God. Nobody can escape its claws. U have rightly said all politicians are adept in this trade. Who is caught in the act is guilty while others escape criticism. Tiwari proves the fact that horse and man are never old.

Yes, you are right it as a wide spread phenomenon across the world since time immemorial. In old times Kings openly had hundreds of wives. I am confused ours has been a very conservative society, yet these Maharajas were acceptable and respected in society.

..nice post..!!! every-word is true..why just single out one person.. .... it seen since yrs.. how older men ... look for young gurls.. or an twenty yr old gurl looking for an eighty yr old guy....talkin of US.. its pathetic thou.. but thats ..how society runs..may be to teach others..:)

Sex and desire for sex have no age ceiling. Indians, Grow up! Whether it’s a politician or an ordinary man/woman, desire is desire! There are so many ordinary men and women who have sex in their offices etc and so, if a politician does too, why such a fuss! Also, sex is power. Money is power. Politics is power. Any two of these facets put together with mutual consent for reciprocal benefit means a simple exchange of power!

Its not my openion, but whatever happened is not a big deal for us (Indian citizens)rather it was the business as usual. Only fault of him was he got caught and thats why Shobhaa got chance to shoot this blog post and we all are commenting here.Anywayz, nicely written blog.

I think as all men are animals and animal instincts are bound to come. But to control them and use them judiously for legitimate nobel purpose of procreation rather than just carnal recreation is true human instinct.

here's my 2 cents...nobody has a right to judge anyone... cos' many / most of us would happily indulge... given an opportunity. it remains to be seen whether age would be a factor to be considered.

You're right in the sense that no one gives a damn about the spouse or the woman in his bed. But then - the wife didn't do anything, so we ignore and the latter was in it by her choice for her own reasons.... so why should we give a damn.

We all choose to talk about the one person who (maybe) shouldn't have been there... but was.

It is difficult to comment upon whether the women involved deserve any sympathy or not.

Whereas it is true that some women are forced into prostitution, it is also true, unfortunately, that some enter the profession out of choice. Some of the latter do so to pay for intoxicants that they are addicted to, while others simply wish to find an easy way to finance their extravagant life-styles that are beyond their means in terms of legitimate sources of income.

It may also be worthwhile to note here that whereas those who are forced into the flesh-trade are often poor with little or no education, those who do so out of choice, more often than not, are educated girls/women. Also, the former are lowly-paid 'sex-workers', whereas the latter are high-profile 'call-girls' that sometimes charge hundreds of thousands of rupees per 'session'.

Hardly any information is available in the news-media regarding the category (out of the two described above) belonged to by the professionals that provided their services to Mr. Tiwari.