Aging Is What You Make of It

Gerald Marzorati at 63 is missing an important point. Aging isn’t just about losing capacities and about saving them with a new activity like tennis. It’s also about accepting and deepening who you are and using what you have to continue to learn and grow.

I try to stay in shape, but that’s not the point. More important: At 75 I still do meaningful professional work, though part time, and now have more time for the activities that keep me stimulated and energetic. So I’m working my way through a new piano repertoire, not just playing the things I played at 16.

Rather than a sense of loss, aging has brought many gratifications. I feel wiser and calmer. I think that this comes from consolidating a lifetime of experiences and using them to take you forward to face whatever challenges the next years will bring.

SARA SEIDEN

Forest Hills, Queens

To the Editor:

Gerald Marzorati sounds more like a Debbie Downer than a guru on aging. He seems to recognize few advantages to late middle age, and to focus instead on the disadvantages.

As a baby boomer, I entered my late middle age determined to learn how to live well while being old. I did not wish to repeat the mistakes of those who do not age well and who accept the stereotypes and self-loathing that abound in an ageist culture.

Having survived cancer at an earlier age, I learned how even bad circumstances can be transformational and lead a person further down eternity’s road.

I have encountered people who view aging as a positive thing, and who focus on the additional experience, knowledge, skill, wisdom and often financial resources that accompany older age.

I was also fortunate to have a number of positive role models for aging well. I remember my mother, who cleared snow from her sidewalk at 90. I never heard her complain about getting old. I also remember her sister, who still drove a car at 97 and lived to be nearly 103.

Indeed, a few of our presidential candidates are age role models as they undergo the rigors of a national campaign in their 60s or 70s, inspiring those much younger to trust them to run the country for the next four years.

REBECCA S. FAHRLANDER

Omaha

The writer is an adjunct professor of psychology and sociology at the University of Nebraska.

To the Editor:

As I started reading Gerald Marzorati’s article, I happily hailed a contemporary. Delight turned to astonishment halfway through when I learned that Mr. Marzorati is 63 and considers himself old. I am 80.

In 1996, when I was only two years younger than Mr. Marzorati is now, I was just entering Peace Corps preservice training in Moldova. My husband and fellow trainee was 70. We felt like teenagers.

After our close of service and for the next 19 years, we spent our “old age” participating in activities like an archaeological dig at a site in Romania; work exchange programs in Ireland, Scotland, Croatia and Albania; home exchanges in Madrid and Amsterdam; and non-work-related travel through Couchsurfing.

I earned a master’s in English and American literature; he played in two bands. We spent a year teaching in the Czech Republic.

My husband died 10 weeks ago at 89 of a stroke, until then as alert and ready for adventure as he was when I met him. If you feel old at 63, Mr. Marzorati, how will you feel at 80, 85 or 90?