Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

Lost and unsure of what to do.

My girlfriend decided she didnt want to be together anymore after 2 years, and told me this just after the new year began. She told me I had to get out immediately and so I did and moved in with my dad for now. I have problems with depression and anxiety so it has been a crazy 24hrs. I don't really know what to do. I don't really have close friends to talk to so was going to see if other people could give me some good advice or words of encouragement. I'm just lost and don't know what to do.

Happy New Year, huh? Sorry you're going through this. It is very good that you're trying to find people to talk to about this. Its critical you process this in a healthy way, especially with your depression and anxiety issues. Is this your first serious break up? If so, please know that things get better with time. It will be hard for you to believe this right now, and maybe even 2 months from now, it is a slow process, at least typically. There's nothing to say that you can't move on much faster than this, but that would take a lot of work and a realization that you love yourself far too much to let her thoughts bring you down. Whatever happens, allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel without judging yourself or beating yourself up. If it is at all possible see a counselor. If you do I suggest not settling for someone who just sits and listens to you, find someone who offers you ideas of coping strategies, such as meditation, breathing techniques, and social groups you could become involved in. Do you have something you've always wanted to do? Like take a class, or marital arts? Now would be a great time to just take the leap and do it.

I think the single best strategy out there for getting over a relationship and heartbreak is to focus on yourself. Make yourself into the man you want to be, allow yourself to see this an opportunity to grow and learn and become more confident and more attractive to other women. DO NOT BEG HER BACK. I can't repeat this enough, DO NOT BEG, do not plead, and just let her go. Its extremely hard, but if you do beg and plead, you will set your recovery back by months. The one bright spot, is that if you can allow her this space without becoming needy she might actually find out she misses you, and if she sees you're doing well she might actually gain some new perspective about you that makes her interested again. The only way this will happen is if you back completely off and show her the best you possible. Its not guaranteed this will work at all, but even if it doesn't you will gain so much from this strategy. Make it about you and not about her at all, and I know how impossible this sounds, but make this your sole focus.

Thanks for the advice I find it very helpful. I had been married for 9 years and the went through a divorce before netting thus person I had no intention of getting into a serious relationship so soon again but it happened. So know I deal like I did back then just link with no one to talk to. I know it will at better as time go's on but there is a lot of health problems with my dad at the moment plus my job situation isn't as great as I want it to be. I don't know I ramble a lot just was not the right time for this to happen but I guess there never is.

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