16 April 2012

Unsent Advice

Sometimes, when someone tells you something, they're trying to tell you something.

This is what I want to tell a very sweet friend of mine right now. But I'm afraid she'd just want to shoot the messenger, so I'll keep my trap shut. Since it's burning a hole in my gut to not tell her, I figured I'd write it out for anyone who cares to read it ;)

See, my friend is in a situation where she likes this guy (oh, lordy, this whole story already sounds way too young for me now!). She is 'friends' with this guy (friends with a bonus, which she certainly doesn't mind), but he says he doesn't want anything more. That, unfortunately, should be the end of the story...but it isn't. She keeps holding up his behavior as supposedly negating his words. Oh, how I wish this could be true for her.

I was in a pseudo-relationship for years with a guy I really cared about. He told me things like, "You're too good for me," and, "I'm just not ready for anything serious." But he called me, he took me nice places, we acted like best friends. So I decided that I knew 'better' than what he was telling me. To make a long, painful story short, I truly believe he loved me as much as he was capable of, but this would never be as much as I needed.

I've (obviously) since moved on to a wonderful man who appreciates me and tells me how important it is to him that I'm in his life. His words are sometimes bigger than his actions when life interferes, but I know he's not holding me at an arm's length.

This isn't supposed to be about me, though. I wish my friend would hear this guy not giving her nearly as much as she's giving him. I sadly wish she'd quit hoping he'll 'realize' how right they are. I wish she'd enjoy her own company more than his and be willing to wait for the right guy for her. But I also know I don't have much room to talk after wasting so much time with the wrong guy in a very similar situation to hers.