During the Up’s and Down’s In Your Environment, Keep Your Fire, Not Just Your Cool

Sometimes, you just have to let it out, expressing what’s on your mind. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Common practice is to err on the side of caution, which is fine, but many do it to the point of paralysis. This inhibition stems from a misconception that a leader always has to be composed and can’t show the normal reactions or negative emotions that one might be able to convey in any other situation. Yes, part of being a leader is remaining cool, calm, and collected, but that doesn’t mean that a leader can’t show passion through emotion. It doesn’t mean a leader can’t get worked up. Unfortunately, most times, people of any level or title are often keeping the peace so as to not rock the boat. But at what cost?

There have been so many decades of leadership evolution that have led people to work toward becoming a composed leader for the sake of maintaining a ‘proper” facade and example for the leader’s followers. Oftentimes, though, this containment has the opposite effect where those around the leader might not always and necessarily be calmed or reassured by the leader’s demeanor but actually wonder what drives his passion. They wonder, Does he feel the same emotions for this job that I do? Does she have enough of a sense of urgency that’s called for by the moment?

Too often, we might keep our true feelings hidden so that no one knows how much we’re affected by the situation at hand. But in that case everyone loses. We lose if we do so because we have not expressed our concerns–the true level of our concerns (and expertise). Others lose because we have chosen to stay quiet and not express our opinions or passions, those which might serve as a red flag that something is amiss and needs to change.

The type of passion championed for here comes in such forms as frustration, tempered anger, or outright disappointment, and seeks to demonstrate the right of someone to express what they are feeling.

Now, a caveat to this approach is that the reaction and expression has to be one which is tempered; one can say what they are feeling without showing what someone would expect that emotion to look like on the outside. For instance, someone, in a few words, can express a great level of disappointment without turning her back on the situation that let her down and walking away. Or someone can express extreme anger through well-thought-out logic and reason without throwing a chair across the room.

Much in the same way that It isn’t what you say, but how you say it, here It is not what you feel but how you show it.

Again, most of the time, what gives us pause in commenting or carrying out an action or opining is that we’re afraid of how others will react. So most of us might be scared of the reaction. So, it’s in one’s best interest to express what they’re feeling but maintain their civil ways while expressing emotions like the previously mentioned frustration, anger, and disappointment. It is incumbent upon us to take the time we need to collect our thoughts and convey our ideas/concerns in such a manner that balances urgency with clarity.

To those who can effectively convey their concerns, it saves them from further frustration or internal tension by avoiding the continued collection of those emotions. For others, it would save them from continuing everyday practices or attitudes which might have lead to the emotion in question.

Aside from the deterioration in one’s sanity or morale, money, time, and productivity can all be lost because someone might feel that a certain level of emotion cannot be shown, but sometimes it takes a certain level of conviction to drive the severity of the situation home. Identifying issues sooner saves money (and sanity) later.

Emotion can be shown but make sure you understand what got you there, keep calm enough to be both taken seriously and heard, and be ready to outline what possible solutions might exist to rectify the issue.

Many leadership, workplace, and life issues take place in silent tunnel vision–doing the expected, not rocking the boat, and living with the consequences, come what may.

The end result–a rethinking of the situation for the better–will be worth the risk that is taken to express those strong concerns.

So…What About You?

Can you think of a situation where you could have used this advice and approach and tempered your reaction?

Can you think of a situation where you should have said something along the lines of what is outlined above?

How would you have changed your reaction? What steps would you have taken?

What examples have you seen of a temperamental, emotional #leader delivering great results?
If you did witness such a case, how was it the environment actually came to be successful?
#leadership#organization#boss#manager

Leadership Lesson: There can be no growth or development forward if you’re tolerating too much, unwisely using your precious resources, including energy and reputation, to hold things together or keep appearances.
#leadership#coaching#relationshipsow.ly/YwgW30pnARA

Some quotes can speak to us directly. If there are none that have spoken to you, or driven you to push forward, what advice received in your own experience has motivated you to push forward with everything you have?
#motivation#drive#success#coachingow.ly/lSp030mzXov

@VPsalesBD@AdamMGrant@seanmlandry It's important to define 1:1. They don't necessarily lead to micromanagement. The best ones I've seen are more, "What are you up to? What do you need? What's your plan going forward? Ok, after all that, here's what I can suggest. Let me know what you need before our next 1:1."

My top tip: Before you declare a major, go interview 5 people in the field you'd like to enter after graduation. The industry landscape will shift, but try to get a sense of what awaits you -- the good and the bad.
#college#careers#development#lifeow.ly/csLo30plqA5

Leadership Lesson: We need to understand what it is that keeps us repeating those behaviors, habits, and practices that keep us from our best development and goals.
Is it Fear? Complacency? Distraction? Tradition?
#fear#legacy#development#leadershipow.ly/ccRg50vnrgy

There IS a huge difference between shyness and introversion.
Most times, understanding the root of how you approach life, work, projects, and people, helps you work to harness it, refine it, to make it work for you.
#introversion#shyness#developmentow.ly/d7zC30kP0nv

What do you think? What have you seen? How much have you demonstrated when you've interviewed? Where is that sweet spot between This is who I am and This is what I can do for you?
Resume alone is not enough.
#interview#hiring#coaching#successow.ly/FrGi30pfvn9