Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Yesterday, you may have noticed my posts ended early. This is because Dr. Grumpy was temporarily rendered into a barfing idiot by the evil pukingfeverachingholyfuckIfeellikeshit virus.

It started in mid-morning. I tried to stay at work, but just couldn't.

I had Mary reschedule the patients (which I HATE doing). I could barely think, or stay out of the bathroom (if you're part of the night staff that cleans my office, I'm really sorry I did that in my trash can). I had to get home.

Fortunately I live near my office. The kids were in school. So I thought I'd be able to rest and be sick alone for the day.

Fat chance.

I opened the door and...

Snowball: The people! The Master is home! He's home early! Ohboyohboyohboy!!!

Cooper: I am so happy! The Master! I must bring him something to welcome him! Here are Craig's underwear with skidmarks for you, Master! I found them in the laundry pile!

Blackdog: Stay away from him, you bozos. He smells bad.

Cooper: No! It's him! We must bounce in front of him to have him pet us! He loves it!

Snowball: Ohboyohboyohboy!

I grabbed a big tupperware bowl and collapsed onto my bed...

Blackdog: I'm going to stay in the hall. He doesn't look right.

Snowball: He's lying down! He's wants to play! He wants me to jump on the bed and bounce on his stomach!

50 comments:

I'm so sorry you had the nasty stomach bug, but I had to laugh reading this. It sounded just like my stable of pets when I was home recovering from my recent surgery. They just did NOT get it. It truly is all about them, isn't it?

Oh my goodness! I'm sorry you were sick, but this is very very funny. I am smiling! I spend my day with 12-18 yr. olds trying to teach them to sing. This definetly was a great starter to my day. Have a great day!

Yeah, I might have had to lock the dogs in the guest bathroom, or laundry room, etc. I had that same virus a few weeks ago and was DONE! I couldn't even pick up my 18 mon old! Glad you're feeling better!

That's the worst, coming home from work, sick as a dog (pun fully intended), and your dogs are at the door, so excited to see you. We have 2 dogs - a basset hound, who will generally leave you alone so she can sleep on the couch all day, and a 160 lb English mastiff - who, as soon as you lie down on the bed, will heave herself up there with you and throw herself partially ON you, thereby pinning you to the bed. Once she's down, there is NO moving her, so you had better have everything you need right there with you. Oh, the basset? Will get up to come in the bathroom with you - she must see exacty WHAT you are doing in there. Swell.

This was probably the only funny GI-virus story I have ever read. That was the hardest I've laughed in days!

When I was a teenager, we had a shepherd mix who used to bark at the mailman. But he would park his truck in view of our house, and spend the next hour or two making the rounds, and she would bark THE ENTIRE TIME. It was maddening.

i thought health care professionals were supposed to avoid patient contact for 48 hours after symptoms resolved... And I would probably ignore that advice too. Perhaps the guys who sent you the questionaire asking if you always wash your hands after every patient contact were prescient. Alcohol gel hand rub was made for this.

When I was a kid, we had a dog that I SWEAR was retarded...mentally challenged for the PC folks. He chased cars even after we put a shock collar on him, he rolled in anything dead he could find, and ate everything not bolted down. He ate a huge coffee can of crayons once....the rainbow-speckled shit in our yard was amusing :). He was sweet aside from his obvious mental issues, and lived until he was 10 or so when he ate the dead thing he rolled in. Even though he was a sweetheart, he ruined the dog experience for me and I haven't had a dog since. This just reinforced my decision :)

I was laughing so hard reading this! I can kind of feel your pain, Tuesday when I got home I wasn't feeling well and apparently neither was my big dog Keno. My German Shepard Boxer mix left me a present in his kennell, ok no big deal he is feeling sick too...however with me feeling sick I could barely deal with it but I cleaned it up and called it a night. Yesterday, I got home early, still being sick and my poodles were so excited to see me, jumping the same way, I got up into bed to lay down and here comes my big dog, with projectile water (whatever else he ate that morning that was not necissarily edible)vomit, then he came back for another good luck projectile vomit. By the time I was done, I wanted to throw up, but decided to fall asleep! You made my afternoon!

My dog uses even more exclamation marks than your dogs. He's a blue heeler if that explains it.

He has those tan colour circle eyebrows and omg they are so expressive. They make him look worried sometimes when he moves them independently (one eyebrow up, the other one down and then swaps....then repeat a few times.)

I'm glad you got better quickly. I'm laughing so much, I wouldn't want to linger on too many posts like this. As it is, I've been glued to your blog for quite. a. long. time. (Or quite-a-long-time, in case you didn't like the previous format).

Your blog is now in my feed reader which means I shall visit often. Sorry about that.*grins*

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