English Teaching Theatre - Unit 06 - The Passport Office

A clerk was working at her desk in a passport office in Britain. A man came and coughed twice. The clerk greeted him. The man said that the shop next door hadn’t got any passport and asked clerk for twenty passports, all different colors. The clerk had got surprised and said that it was Impossible. The man agreed on same colors, but the clerk said that ‘impossible’ was not about colors but about twenty passports. So finally the man asked for one passport and offered some money. The clerk noticed that it was not as easy and asked the man what kind of passport he wanted. The latter wanted a big round yellow one, but there were only small blue rectangular ones, the clerk just wanted to know how long the man’s passport had to be. Man said that he wanted it for 100 years. The clerk fell into confusion, but finally agreed to make this passport and proposed the man to sit down, what he did. When the man was asked to say his first name, he said ‘William Shakespeare’, and when the clerk asked if it was his real name, the man said that it was just nice name. Then he said his real name – Charles Smith. When the clerk said the man’s family name, Smith, the latter’s voice went up, and when the name was pronounced, his voice went down. The man said it was a very big problem when he was having a conversation, and the solution, how he thought, was to call him different name – Brunhilde. Brunhilde Schwarzkopf. The clerk became suspicious, but finally the man persuaded him. After that the clerk asked the man for his address, but the latter heard it like ‘a dress’ and said that he only wore raincoat. So the clerk decided to ask him in other way and the question was ‘where do you live?’. The man said that he lived just round the corner. Finally he said his address – 14, Brunhilde street, and the clerk understood that he wanted to say ’14, Charles street’. Then the clerk wanted to know the nationality of the man, who said that it didn’t matter and asked to write ‘british’. When the clerk tried to find out where Brunhilde was born, the latter said that he didn’t remember it, and when the clerk asked him about his parents, the man just started to describe them and mixed up his father and his mother, after what the clerk became really angry. He didn’t want to hear the man no more, gave him his passport and left the office. The man, very contented, called Brunhilde, his girlfriend, and said that now she could go anywhere with this passport and proposed to her a holiday on the sun. Brunhilde didn’t understand a word the man said and just repeated: ‘Ja! Ja!’.

Sonya Schepetova, 2015/05/28 10:47

A clerk was working at her desk in a passport office in Great Britain. A man came and coughed twice. The clerk greeted him. The man said that the shop next door hadn’t got any passports and asked the clerk for twenty passports, all different colors. The clerk got surprised and said that it was Impossible. The man agreed on the same color, but the clerk said that ‘impossible’ was not about colors but about twenty passports. So finally the man asked for one passport and offered some money. The clerk noticed that it was not as easy and asked the man what kind of passport he wanted. The latter wanted a big round yellow one, but there were only small blue rectangular ones, the clerk just wanted to know how long the man’s passport had to be. The man said that he wanted it for 100 years. The clerk got confused, but finally agreed to issue a passport and proposed the man to sit down, what he did. When the man was asked to say his first name, he said ‘William Shakespeare’, and when the clerk asked if it was his real name, the man said that it was just a nice one. Then he said his real name – Charles Smith and every time when the clerk said Smith, the latter’s voice went up, and every time when the Clerk said ‘Charles’, the man’s voice went down. The man said it was a very big problem when he was having a conversation, and he thought that the solution to it was to call him different name – Brunhilde, Brunhilde Schwarzkopf. The clerk became suspicious, but finally the man persuaded him to issue the passport. After that the clerk asked the man for his address, but the latter heard it like ‘a dress’ and said that he only wore a raincoat. So the clerk decided to put the question differently, which was ‘Where do you live?’. The man said that he lived just round the corner. Finally he said his real address – 14, Brunhilde street, and the clerk understood that he wanted to say ’14, Charles street’. Then the clerk wanted to know the nationality of the man, who said that it didn’t matter and asked to write ‘British’. When the clerk tried to find out where the man was born, the latter said that he didn’t remember it, and when the clerk asked him about his parents, the man just started to describe them and mixed up the descriptions his father and his mother, after what the clerk became really angry. He didn’t want to hear the man any more, gave him his passport and left the office. The very contented man called Brunhilde, his girl-friend, and said that now she could go anywhere with this passport and proposed a holiday in the sun to her. Brunhilde didn’t understand a word the man said and just repeated: ‘Ja! Ja!’.

Sonya Schepetova, 2015/05/28 10:47, 2015/05/28 11:14

A lady-clerk was working at her desk in the passport office in Great Britain. A man came in and greeted her with a double cough and the clerk greeted him, too. The man said that the shop next door hadn’t got any passports and asked the clerk for twenty passports of different colors. The clerk got surprised and said that it was Impossible. The man thought that it was impossible to buy 20 passports of different colors and agreed on one and the same color, but the clerk said that ‘impossible’ was not only about colors but about quantity. So finally the man asked for one passport and offered some money for it, but the clerk noted that it was not as easy as he thought and asked the man what kind of passport he wanted. The latter wanted a big round yellow one, but there were only small blue rectangular ones. Then the clerk just wanted to know how long the man wanted his passport to be and he said that he wanted it for 100 years. The clerk got confused, but finally agreed to issue a passport and proposed the man to sit down. Then she asked the man for his first name and he said ‘William Shakespeare’, and when the clerk asked if it was his real name, the man said that it was just a nice one. Then he said his real name – Charles Smith and every time when the clerk said 'Smith', the latter’s voice went up, and every time when the Clerk said ‘Charles’, the man’s voice went down. The man said it was a very big problem when he was having a conversation, and he thought that the solution to it was to call him a different name – Brunhilde, Brunhilde Schwarzkopf. The clerk became suspicious, but finally the man persuaded her to issue the passport. After that the clerk asked the man for his address, but the latter misheard it like ‘a dress’ and said that he only wore a raincoat. So the clerk decided to put the question differently: ‘Where do you live?’. The man said that he lived just round the corner and other stuff. Finally he said his real address – 14, Brunhilde Street, and the clerk understood that he wanted to say ’14, Charles Street’. Then the clerk wanted to know the nationality of the man, who said that it didn’t matter and asked to write ‘British’ in. When the clerk tried to find out where the man was born, the latter said that he didn’t remember, and when the clerk asked him about his parents, the man just started to describe them and mixed up the descriptions of his father and his mother. The clerk became really angry at it and didn’t want to hear the man any more. She gave him his passport and left the office. The very contented man called Brunhilde, his girl-friend, and said that now she could go anywhere with this passport and proposed a holiday in the sun to her. Brunhilde didn’t understand a word the man said and just repeated: ‘Ja! Ja!’.

Sonya Schepetova, 2015/05/28 10:48

A clerk was working at her desk in a passport office in Britain, when a man came and coughed twice. The clerk greeted him also. The man said that the shop next door had not got passport and asked clerk for twenty passports, all different colors. The clerk got surprised and said that it was Impossible so the man agreed on same colors, but the clerk said ‘impossible’ not about colors but about amount of passports and finally the man asked for one passport and offered some money. The clerk said that it was not so easy and asked the man what kind of passport he wanted and she heard that the latter wanted a big round yellow one, and the clerk said that there were only small blue rectangular ones, and she just wanted to know for what time the man’s passport had to be. The man said that he wanted it for 100 years after what the clerk fell into confusion, but finally she agreed to make this passport and offered the man to sit down, so he did it. When the clerk needed to know the man’s name, he said ‘William Shakespeare’, and when the clerk asked if it was his real name, the man said that it was just nice name. But then he said his real name – Charles Smith. When the clerk pronounced the man’s second name, Smith, the latter’s voice went up, and when she said his first name, his voice went down. The man said that it was a very big problem when he was having a conversation, and he thought that the solution was to call him different name – Brunhilde Schwarzkopf. The clerk became suspicious but finally she was persuaded by the man, after what the clerk asked the man for his address, but the latter heard it like ‘a dress’ and said that he only had a raincoat, so the clerk decided to ask him in different way and the question was ‘where do you live?’. The man said that he lived just round the corner but finally he said his real address – 14, Brunhilde street, and the clerk understood that he wanted to say ’14, Charles street’. Then the clerk wanted to know the nationality of the man, but he said that it didn’t matter and asked to write ‘british’. When the clerk tried to find out where Brunhilde was born, he said that he didn’t remember it, and when the clerk asked him about his parents, the man just started to describe them and mixed up his parents, after what the clerk became really angry. She didn’t want to hear the man anymore, gave him his passport and left the office. The man, who became very contented, called Brunhilde, his girlfriend, and said that now she could go anywhere with this passport and so he proposed to her a holiday on the sun. But Brunhilde didn’t understand a word and just repeated: ‘Ja! Ja!’.

Sonya Schepetova, 2015/05/28 11:09

A clerk was working at her desk in a passport office in Britain, when a man came in and coughed twice. The clerk greeted him also. The man said that the shop next door had not got any passports and asked clerk for twenty passports, all different colors. The clerk got surprised and said that it was Impossible so the man agreed on one and the same color, but the clerk meant ‘impossible’ not conserning colors but about amount of passports and finally the man asked for one passport and offered some money for that. The clerk said that it was not so easy and asked the man what kind of passport he wanted and she heard that the latter wanted a big round yellow one, and the clerk said that there were only small blue rectangular ones, and she just wanted to know for what time the man’s passport had to be. The man said that he wanted it for 100 years after what the clerk fell into confusion, but finally she agreed to issue this passport and offered the man to sit down, and he did. When the clerk needed to know the man’s name, he said ‘William Shakespeare’, and when the clerk asked if it was his real name, the man said that it was just a nice name. But then he said his real name – Charles Smith. When the clerk pronounced the man’s second name, Smith, the latter’s voice went up, and when she said his first name, his voice went down. The man said that it was a very big problem when he was having a conversation, and he thought that the solution was to call him a different name – Brunhilde Schwarzkopf. The clerk became suspicious but finally she was persuaded by the man, after what the clerk asked the man for his address, but the latter misheard it like ‘a dress’ and said that he only had a raincoat, so the clerk decided to ask him in a different way and the question was ‘where do you live?’. The man said that he lived just round the corner but finally he said his real address – 14, Brunhilde Street, and the clerk understood that he wanted to say ’14, Charles Street’. Then the clerk wanted to know the nationality of the man, but he said that it didn’t matter and asked to write ‘British’. When the clerk tried to find out where Brunhilde was born, he said that he didn’t remember that, and when the clerk asked him about his parents, the man just started to describe them and mixed up his parents' discriptions, after what the clerk became really angry. She didn’t want to hear the man anymore, gave him his passport and left the office. The man, who became very contented, called Brunhilde, his girlfriend, and said that now she could go anywhere with this passport and so he proposed to her a holiday on the sun. But Brunhilde didn’t understand a word and just repeated: ‘Ja! Ja!’.

Sonya Schepetova, 2015/05/28 11:22

A lady-clerk was working at her desk in the passport office in Great Britain. A man came in and asked for twenty passports of different colors. The clerk said it was impossible. So finally the man asked for one big round yellow passport for 100 years and offered some money for it, but the clerk noted that it was not as easy as he thought. Then the man said that his name was William Sheakspeare, because it was a nice name. He had some problems with his voice when he pronounced his real name, so he wanted people to call him Brunhilde Schwarzkopf. After that the man couldn't name his address for few minutes, sayng that he lived just round the corner. Then the clerk wanted to know the nationality of the man, who said that it didn’t matter and asked to write ‘British’ in. When the clerk tried to find out where the man was born, the latter said that he didn’t remember. The clerk became really angry at it and didn’t want to hear the man any more. She gave him his passport and left the office. The very contented man called Brunhilde, his girl-friend, and said that now she could go anywhere with this passport and proposed a holiday in the sun to her. Brunhilde didn’t understand a word the man said and just repeated: ‘Ja! Ja!’.

Sonya Schepetova, 2015/05/28 11:40

A man needed a British passport for his German girl-friend, Brunhilde Schwarzkopf, but she couldn't get it by herself, so he decided to come at the passport office in Great Britain and get this passport by bothering a clerk. He told her some strange requests, purposely didn't understand some questions and went from the topic of conversation, so finally the clerk didn't tolerate it, gave passport to the man and left the office, that was how Brunhilde got the British passport.

Sonya Schepetova, 2015/05/28 11:41

A man needed a British passport for his German girl-friend, Brunhilde Schwarzkopf, but she couldn't get it by herself, so he decided to come to the passport office in Great Britain and get this passport by bothering the lady-clerk, by telling her stupid requests. He didn't purposely understand her questions and skewed the topic of the conversation, so finally the clerk couldn't tolerate that any longer, gave the passport to the man and left the office. That was how Brunhilde got her British passport.