Sunday, December 2, 2012

Welcome to the Sunday Surf, a tour of the best blogposts I've read throughout the week.

Aw, they grow up so fast!
I bet you didn't even know Mikko had his license.

Lest you think we actually own that cutest mini-Mini ever, I'll point out that the picture was taken while the boys were cruising around Costco. It struck Sam and me that if we were to buy such a car, we'd have to bring it to Costco for them to have a place to drive it! It's not like our carpeted condo has its own ballroom, and we don't exactly live in the land of year-round sunshine here in the Northwest. Where do people drive these things usually? We'll just have to keep visiting it at its home until someone else buys it for some (luckier) kid.

Quick hits: Are a lot of people who homeschool/unschool middle-class and white? Yes. (Am I? Yes.)

Are there some people who homeschool/unschool who lack privilege in meaningful ways? Absolutely.

Is homeschooling/unschooling possible for everybody? I would guess no. That’s one of those tricky points, where I know people who struggle incredibly with lack of privilege and who still manage home education. But I would never tell someone what sacrifices should be made to unschool, and many obstacles are very real and very big (single parenthood, suspicious neighbors/government officials, disapproving grandparents or other authority figures, disabilities and illnesses, poverty, the not insignificant weight of cultural expectation) — I’m not going to stand from my place of privilege and tell someone else to just suck it up. That’s ridiculous. Educational paths are each family’s choice (or lack of choice).

Does the unschooling community need to continue to address issues of privilege? Yes. And I wish the schooled community would as well!!

Does anyone’s not-unschooling help the less privileged? I can’t see how. Honestly. I put my kids in public school, and that magically makes the world more equal? (I’ve thought long and hard on this, too. There’s not much I can do to transform the public school system — or our society’s treatment of children — except by modeling our family’s own preferences.)

Does putting children into a school environment you believe would be toxic for them reflect a respect for all humans? Um…no. Children also suffer from a noted lack of privilege, and I’d rather they had free choices about learning, as mine do.

Quote from the article:

Of course, all parenting realities are influenced by privilege. Many parents with kids in school spend their energies trying to effect improvements for their children or their child’s school; most do not take on the larger cause of educational and social inequities. Notably, many of the progressives who I’ve seen voice anger or angst about unschooling or homeschooling and privilege, either don’t have children at all, or have children already privileged in terms of race, socioeconomic, health, family support, heteronormative family structure, neighborhood safety, and the school options available to them. Et cetera. “Privilege” accusations, in some cases, begin to feel like a red herring.

However, I will always support the discussion of privilege and oppression, and even more so action-based strategies, within any group I find myself allied with, a member of, or sympathetic to (this goes far beyond education and parenting, for me). On a personal note, even more than discussion at a macro level about systems and socioeconomic realities, I enjoy working with families on a one-on-one basis for them to have more of the family life they want.

Second, and this deserves more space than I can give it now, is something Matt and Bruce have touched on: unschooling as a program, as a method, as a cult. I really wish we could talk about learning and living, but these terms have been marginalized by schoolspeak: now babies and children must learn how to learn (it isn’t something they have a biological imperative to do); unschooling is a program administered by parents rather than a description of how children can grow while they explore the real world with different types of support from their families and others. The social capital unschooling/homeschooling provides to children—access to adults who are doing things besides teaching children; strong interest by parents in making sure the emotional, nutritional, physical, and spiritual needs of their children are met—is far more important for helping children learn and feel secure in their lives than focusing on improving their test scores.

I think that the unschooling community as a whole does a really bad job of recognizing and acknowledging their privilege, and of admitting that that privilege affects both their ability to unschool, and how easy (or even how safe: those targeted by CPS and similar for unschooling, attachment parenting, and the like, are almost always already marginalized in some way) a time of it they have when unschooling. When questions and discussions of privilege come up in a group type setting, they tend to be quickly shot down and silenced by a bunch of fairly wealthy white people. That said, I’ve made many really incredible friends in the unschooling community who are really aware of and talking about privilege. But on a large scale, that discussion is noticeably absent in the community.

However, I also get extremely frustrated with the reaction from radical and social justice type people who are not unschoolers, which is more often than not “only privileged people can unschool, so it’s privileged and horrible and selfish to do so, and no one should do it.” I feel like this is another example of how little children and teens are valued and respected, because with most oppressed groups, at least in words if not actions, SJ and radical peeps are quick to talk about concrete changes that should be made, yet when it comes to kids in school, it’s just a reaction of “oh well, it kind of sucks that they’re being indoctrinated with the tenets of the dominant culture, and that’s not very good I guess.”

If you work out of the home in a non-office environment, using a dedicated break room for pumping might not be an option. Here’s how a sign language interpreter works breastfeeding and pumping into her work life.

All parents worry about their children’s well being and future happiness. There’s just an extra layer of worry shadowing the adopted mom. And a lurking desire to demonstrate proof. Proof of love, proof of having earned the right to raise this baby, proof of legitimacy as a mom.

Support your favorite bloggers:

If you're shopping online this holiday season, particularly at Amazon, please consider clicking through an affiliate link first — no cost to you, and a nice token of gratitude for your beloved blogs! If you have Amazon Associates or other affiliate links, add them to the linky Teresa at Mom Grooves and I set up:

Carnival news:

Theme: Childhood Memories: Our theme this month is childhood memories; feel free to write about whatever speaks to you. Here are some ideas: What are your earliest, favorite, strangest or other childhood memories? Is it easy or hard for you to remember your childhood? How do your childhood memories impact the way you parent? What childhood memories do you hope your children will have? What do you do to preserve childhood for your little ones (e.g., pictures, etc.)?Deadline:Tuesday, December 4. Fill out the webformand email your submission to us by 11:59 p.m. Pacific time: CarNatPar {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com

The Taboo Carnivalis live on the topic of "I love you, but I don't always like you." Here's my take:

As a carnival host, you can snag more participants and keep them apprised of due dates and themes!

Check out upcoming carnivals in the calendar below, and click the "plus" button at the bottom to add it to your Google account.

To add carnivals to the calendar, see the static page with an email form that takes you step by step through submitting your carnival information. Any carnivals on topics of interest to natural parenting bloggers are welcome.

We'd also love to have you join us on our group boards on Natural Parents Network's Pinterest account: If you want to post your own or others' posts about a Slice of Life, Naturally, or Healthy Eating and Living, simply email ShannonH {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com with your Pinterest username to be added to the boards.

Deals:

I have so many natural-parenting affiliate deals to help you shop the best places this holiday season. Sorry for the glut, but I can't resist sharing while the coupons are good! Here are some highlights:

The Cyber Savings are continuing at BabyLegs! Only $4 a pair on select styles!

BabyLegs' adorable leg warmers, arm warmers, socks, and tights are perfect as gifts for new babies or the stylish little kids on your list.

Smilebox is the ideal companion for creating and sharing custom-made holiday wonders — animated greetings, scrapbooks, photo books, photo collages, and more. And now through Tuesday, new subscribers can get a year of smiles for only $23.88 (regularly $39.99).

I love using Smilebox to send customized photo e-cards to my kids' grandparents and other loved ones. They get such a kick out of opening their email inbox to find my kids' sweet faces smiling up at them in a professionally produced animated card!

Get 40% off an annual premium subscription to Club Smilebox.
A year of smiles for less than $2 a month!
Extended through Dec. 4 only!

Giveaways:

Find lots more wonderful giveaways at my Natural parenting giveaways linky! There are several that would make great holiday gifts: a Plan Toys wooden rocking horse and several fetching cloth diapers! Add your own giveaways, and enter to win!

Surf with us:

We love following along with fellow Sunday Surfers. If you have your own post of reading links to share, please link up your post on Hobo Mama or on Authentic Parenting. The linky will go live every Sunday, and you can link up any day that week. If Sunday doesn't work for you but you do a links list another day, feel free to play along. You only need to add your post to one of the sites, and the linky will automatically show up on both sites.

read my books

sign up for hobo mama news

meet hobo mama

Riding the rails with my husband, Crackerdog Sam, and our hobo kids, Mikko Lint Picker (born June 2007), Alrik Irontrousers (born May 2011), and Karsten (born October 2014). Trying every day to parent intentionally and with grace.