Filmgeeks from Videoport, Portland Maine (207) 773-1999

With the Oscars coming up, I’d like to join in with the incessant, interminable rabble of bloggers who do nothing but rail against how ‘The Oscars get it all wrong and it’s all about money and why don’t they just check out my blog from last year where I laid it all out for them…the Oscars suck, etc!’ But, in order to somehow separate myself from the pack, I’m offering some constructive (not really) criticism along with the Oscar-bashing. Below, I pick only the years where I feel the Oscar voters failed most egregiously and, in the spirit of not just sniping but revealing that I’ve actually seen a movie or two, after each selected Oscar mistake, I’ve provided a (partial, I’m sure) list of movies released in the same year which history (and my huge, squishy brain) have decided/will decide are way, way more deserving. Seriously, you’re talking, not only to a movie smarty-pants, but to a video rentin’ professional, and I can assure you that history, and enduring rentitude, is kicking the living, renting crap out of these Oscar abominations. My pick for the one, shining beacon of cinematic awesomeness is in italics. Strap in kiddies, and prepare to get much, much smarter… (I would apologize for the overabundance of Kurosawa, but, no, no, on second thought, I won’t apologize…)

The Greatest Show on Earth* (1952) Forbidden Games, Ikiru, Singin’ In the Rain, Umberto D

Around the World in 80 Days** (1956) The Searchers, Giant, Godzilla, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Seven Samurai, La Strada

West Side Story (1961) The Hustler, La Dolce Vita, La Notte, A Raisin In the Sun, Viridiana, Yojimbo

The Sound of Music (1965) The Collector, Darling, Red Beard

Chariots of Fire*** (1981) Gallipoli, The Road Warrior, Modern Romance, Raiders of the Lost Ark

Out of Africa**** (1985) After Hours, Brazil, Lost in America, Ran, Silverado, Vagabond

A Beautiful Mind (2001) Amelie, The Center of the World, The Devil’s Backbone, Donnie Darko, Gosford Park, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Mulholland Drive, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Son’s Room, Wet Hot American Summer, The Fellowship of the Ring

Chicago (2002) The 25th Hour, About Schmidt, Bowling for Columbine, The Pianist, Punch Drunk Love, The Quiet American, Talk to Her

Crash (2005) The 40 Year Old Virgin, A History of Violence, Serenity, Brokeback Mountain

*Apologies to my Dad. This is his favorite movie… I love him very much.

**Another big-budget, huge-cast nothing of a movie (I’m looking at you, Greatest Show on Earth) that seemingly won because everyone on the voting rolls either was in the movie, or was sleeping with someone who was.

***Try watching it without the Vangelis soundtrack. Ouch.

****zzzzzz…wha? Huh?

*****I genuinely want to punch this movie in the face.

******Even if Mel Gibson weren’t a racist a-hole, I’d still hate this movie. But he is…

*******If I have to watch James Cameron win another Oscar, I’m never going to stop weeping.

********Way to pass over Mean Streets, Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The King of Comedy, After Hours, The Last Temptation of Christ, Goodfellas, The Age of Innocence, and Casino and reward Scorcese for an above-average remake because you were so embarrassed that you did, Oscar voters! A-doyyyyy……. (OK, maybe that wasn’t constructive…)