Seasonal Holiday Best Wishes

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to all my friends, but itís so difficult in to-dayís world to know exactly what to say with-out offending someone. So I met with my lawyer , and on his advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible , low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religion/secular persuasions and /or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, person-ally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual preference or the TV channel of choice of the wished.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It Implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual allocation of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Along those lines.... I saw a billboard last month with a red background, the big jolly face of Santa Claus on the left, and a big string of traditional Christmas lights across the top. The sign read "Happy Holidays".

Now, besides Christmas, is there another holiday that includes Santa and traditional Christmas lights??????

Why do we use this sort of greeting only for Christmas and not for Independence Day, St. Valentine's day, Presidents Day, Easter, Mothers Day, Fathers Day etc.? I'm sure that there are those who are offended not only by our independence, but also by our celebration of it. Perish the thought that we should offend those people.

If we're going to use this sort of greeting at Christmas, let's be consistent and emasculate the remainder of our celebrations as well.

Acceptance of your holiday greetings is pending the outcome of discussions with the legal team, and an ethics consultant. I am also awaiting a response from an online spiritual adviser in India. Or Indiana, maybe?

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Originally Posted by forresterace

...but itís so difficult in to-dayís world to know exactly what to say with-out offending someone.

I don't get offended if someone wishes me a ________ _______, even if it's a holiday I don't celebrate. I just remember that we all do our own thing. So they shouldn't get offended if I wish them a _______ _______. If they do then they're the one with the problem.

About the only thing that really offends me is when people go to extremes to avoid offending. The whole "political correctness" idea is extremely offensive because it punishes everyone while overindulging people who are trying too hard to be offended.

If I extend the following greeting year round I seem to get positive responses, regardless of the culture, orientation, beliefs, holiday and/or religious celebration, etc. "Be well and excel in the art of living."