The AggreGAYtor: December 11

Your daily dose of LGBTQIA news

Glenn Beck has a moment of clarity, Charlie Rogers gives up, and Antonin Scalia puts on his sassy pants. Today’s AggreGAYtor, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.

• Although we have certain flair with jingle bells, own several myrrh scented Dipthyque candles, and practically invented tinsel, televised muckworm Bill O’Reillystill is not offering a room at his inn.

• The chancellor at Patrick Henry College is appalled that a pro-LGBT blog is using the name “queerphc.” The whole to-do seems like a huge ego trip. Queerphc could stand for lots of things. People Hating Children. Popples Having Coitous. Plutarchs Hording Candy. It could just be a big PHuC you.

• A group promoting “heterosexual awareness month” is now offering printable certificates for its members to assert their straight bona fides. Pro tip: the certificates are a little more convincing when presented before strapping into the swing.

• Lesbian Eloise Klein Healy has been named Los Angeles’ first poet laureate. Although her poetry has much loftier concerns, the AggreGAYtor would like her to at least write one verse about “The L Word.”

• Despite normally having all the accuracy of a marshmallow arrow, Glenn Beckdoes have marriage equality right.

• UC Berkeley is considering banning the Salvation Army from soliciting donations on campus for anti-gay stance.