Monthly Archives: January 2015

Before we really get started today, I would like to direct you to a link I found during the week: http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/crime/man-sentenced-200-years-impregnating-his-11-year-old-grandaughter

Sickening, isn’t it?

A man makes his 11-year-old granddaughter pregnant, tells her to make up a don’t story, and then molests his 9-year-old granddaughter?

That just infuriates me.

Sadly, that isn’t the only story out there like that. There are many other young children that go through that. I claim to know all of them. There are way too many out there to be able to know. It’s sickening what some adults do to kids.

And, sadly, a lot of them get away with it because they tell the child to not say a word. And the child listens.

I’ve made it no secret in the past that my niece was sexually abused by my ex-brother-in-law. She was not told to keep quiet, but instead came out to my sister and said, “He’s been touching me!”

My heart broke when I first heard that, and it still breaks every single day that she had to go through that horror. I never thought someone I knew would have to go through something like that.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: If you or someone you know has been abused, please get help. The physical cuts may go away, but the emotional scars will always be there. Please, help the emotional scars to fade. They may not go away completely, but they can definitely become more manageable.

You don’t have to live with the emotional scars. Get help, and you can regain your confidence back. I have complete faith.

I can see it. I can feel it. I know it’s there. You want to say it, but you don’t know how. You want to say it, but you’re afraid to. You don’t know what will happen if you say this one word.

The word I’m talking about is, “No.” You may have been there. I know I have been.

Many people fall into abusive relationships. I’ve been in a couple myself. I know how it feels to want to say, “No,” but not wanting to make him mad. I know how it feels to be treated like complete crap. Like a tool. It’s not fun.

Abusive relationships are the thing that nobody wants to talk about. Nobody wants to admit to being in. Nobody wants to reach out for help because they’re afraid to. Nobody tells anybody what’s really going on.

Here’s the thing: You can’t be afraid to say, “No.” If you don’t say it, things will continue to get worse. I know it’s hard. I know what it’s like to be afraid.

One of my favorite artists, Britt Nicole, has a song called “Don’t Worry Now.” It’s about something completely different than abusive relationships, but some of the lyrics are so true.

“I’ve been there, yeah, I know how it feels to wonder if love is even real. Don’t worry now. Don’t worry now. It’s going to be okay.” -Britt Nicole

Isn’t that just so encouraging? It will be okay. Don’t be afraid to say, “No.” Even when it’s the hardest thing ever, don’t be afraid. Get out of the relationship. It will all be okay in the end. I promise you, it will be.

Sexual abuse. It’s not what anyone wants to talk about. If you’ve had it happen to you, you feel ashamed. If you haven’t, feel very, very, lucky.

I personally haven’t happen to me, but I have had it happen to someone very close to me. And someone very young. This person happens to be my four-year-old niece. Yeah, you heard me right. Four years old.

I was pretty angry at the guy that did it. Who wouldn’t be? The worst thing is, this man was her step-father. It’s terrible. Absolutely terrible.

That’s something she’s going to have to live with for the rest of her life, and at first my sister didn’t want to deal with it at all. She wanted to pretend that it never happened. As it turns out, that’s the worst thing you can do.

Finally, she got help for my niece. I was so glad when she did. I haven’t seen much progress yet, but she just started. I’m sure with time, I will see progress.

If you or someone you know has been abused, please tell someone. Get help. The worst thing you can do is live with it as your secret. My four-year-old niece didn’t really know the power of the words, “He’s been touching me.” She was just being herself and telling her mother everything that happened when she came home. Those words are every mother’s worse nightmare, but the first step to getting help.

If you have been abused, I’m begging you to get help. Being older, I understand it’s harder. You feel ashamed. I won’t claim to completely get it, but I do understand it some. Please get help. It’s the best thing you can do.

Like this:

I apologize for being gone for a month. Life got in the way. I plan on getting back to this site on a regular basis.

Words are a strange thing. They can lift you up, or tear you down. It’s depressing to think about, really.

A while back, I heard about this young boy just twelve years old that committed suicide. Why? Because he was bullied. For being a cheerleader. For doing what he loved. He was called gay and feminine. It really breaks my heart.

If everyone had just said he was really good at cheerleading, or focused on how he was as a person, he could have lived. He could have been happy. He could have lived life to the fullest and never held back. But no, they chose to focus on what they thought was negative. They chose to focus on the fact that he was the only boy on a cheerleading squad.

Just like this boy, I hear about kids that commit suicide because of bullying way too often. It happens, and I hate it. The bullying needs to stop, and the worst part of it is, a lot of times a bully is a bully because they were bullied themselves. It hurts, I know. It’s heartbreaking. It makes you want to give up. I’ve been there, too.

If you or someone you know is getting bullied, please get help. Tell someone you trust. Kids, tell an adult. You may feel humiliated, but it’s worth it to get the bully off your back. What’s better, a bully picking on you day in or day out, or a few seconds of getting the courage to tell someone and not be bullied anymore? If I had the chance to go back in time, I know what I would have done.

The bullying needs to stop. If we all work together, and if the victims tell someone, there’s no limit to the difference that could be made.