“It was a Monday, and Dr. Nelson called me at home to tell me my biopsy was positive. My sister had been diagnosed three months before me, and she’s 12 years older, so they decided I needed to start having yearly mammograms. I’d had one two years before that — a base mammogram at age 35. Two years later I had a change in it. I was 37, and I only had that one because my sister was diagnosed. Normally, they wouldn’t start them until I was 40. They ran me through everything, and it was cancer. Even rolling me into surgery, Dr. Nelson was going, ‘This is the most innocent mammogram I’ve ever seen for it to be cancer.’ It was small. It just didn’t look that abnormal. But mammograms are better now then they were then — the technology is better. The biopsy was March 6, 1995, and I had my lumpectomy the 14th. Then I had six rounds of chemotherapy and 30 radiation treatments.”

And you’re a nurse at Harrington Breast Center?

“Yes, I’m a recall nurse at the Harrington Breast Center, so if I call you back, that means you have an abnormal mammogram. But I think it’s good, because I can help reassure people that we’re going to take the very best care of them. People will ask me, ‘Do you really think I really need to come back?’ And even if it turns out to be nothing, I always say, ‘Yes, you need to come back, because there’s always that chance.’”

What was your initial response to the diagnosis?

“I’d been a nurse for a while then — I think like 15 years. Since I was an oncology nurse, at first I was OK. And then, I got really scared and even planned out my own funeral. Because I was 37 at the time, because I was so young, I figured it was probably really aggressive and I was going to die.

“Being an oncology nurse was really very helpful because, as I was going through the process, losing my hair and everything, I was dealing with other cancer patients, and we really were inspiration for each other. Just two weeks ago, I ran into a lady whose husband was a cancer survivor, and he was going through treatment at the same time I was. So it really made my day to get to see him.”

Physically, what was the hardest part for you?

“It was really hard to deal with the physical changes over time. Originally the lumpectomy didn’t affect me as much as the immediate hair loss did. But then, over time, there were still physical changes in my breast, after radiation. I’m very, very lopsided, and that was very difficult, and still is.

“The worst thing during the treatment was being tired. I had a child after this, and my other child was 5. Being tired was the worst thing ever. I can’t believe how tired I was. I would take a shower and have to lay down and rest before I could get dressed.”

How does your personal experience impact your work?

“I get to help women every day go through what I went through. It’s very rewarding for me, and I really feel it helps them, knowing I’ve been in their shoes. There’s nobody, unless you’ve been in those shoes, that can really understand. You can be supportive, but you don’t know that feeling until your name is used with cancer.”

Emotionally, what was the hardest thing for you?

“It was very hard because people who are your friends ... don’t know how to treat you because they don’t know whether or not you’re going to live or die. Your relationships change tremendously, and that was really hard. I’m very much a people person. I think people forget that cancer is very treatable, so then they back out of your life because they don’t know how to handle what might happen. I think I see that because I was a cancer nurse for so long, and I’ve seen people back away.”

Do you have anything to say to the supporters?

“Try to remain there for them. They’ll answer questions. They need the support; they don’t need you to back away. That’s really hard, hurtful and sad. I would just say try to get involved somehow.”

As a nurse, how do you try to help the supporters?

“When someone is newly diagnosed, I think I can give them the information to help get their family prepared also. I’ve had families come back and tell me how much it helped them to see me as a 17-year survivor. When you talk with someone who’s been around 15, 20 years or so, you start to think, ‘I can live a normal life after this is over.’”

Who was your support system?

“My son, who was 5 at the time, and then the medical floor — the people I worked with. With my son, with all the things that he had going on, it made me feel like I really had to fight this, to win because he needed his mom. He was in every Kids, Inc. activity he could be in. You know when they’re little, they look on the sideline, and whether they’ve done good or bad, they just need to see that you’re there in the sidelines, smiling.”

“My son is now 23, and my daughter is now 14. My son will still occasionally, if I say I have a doctor’s appointment, he will still ask if I’m going for a cancer check-up. I do still check to make sure the cancer is still gone. I think that’s another part that’s good about being a nurse, and I encourage that for people: Don’t ever quit doing your follow-ups. Because that’s something I see. Somebody wouldn’t go back to the doctor for four or five years, and then they’d have a reoccurrence. By the time they find it, it’s really advanced, which it wouldn’t have been if they’d been doing their yearly follow-ups.”

What did you learn about yourself through this experience?

“I think I learned a lot about myself as far as my inner strength because it is scary. It’s scary to hear your name and cancer in the same sentence. You have to learn what you have to do for yourself to live. I couldn’t do anything without finding that God-given strength that’s buried somewhere inside you that sometimes you don’t know you have. I found mine.”

Do you have any advice you would like to offer?

“Find your support system and use them. There are some really good groups out there, and those kind of things are what you need. You’ve got to find that emotional support to get you through it. Learn to be able to rely on people, and that’s very hard for me.

“We diagnose women younger and younger, but we have women who come in and they’re in their 60s and they’ve never had a mammogram, and that’s really dreadful. Sometimes you think that if something is wrong, it’ll go away. Don’t be scared. The unknown is the hardest to deal with. Once we know, we can get you in the best of hands, and your life can go on.”

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I was blessed to read your story. I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Oct 9. I will be having surgery next week. Treatment will be decided after surgery. Your story has given me a since of comfort and peace. I am glad you are surviving! I am already looking and applying new ways of paying forward!