Cupcake #3: That time I did a 3 day juice cleanse

It’s funny, because over the years I have become someone who does things, that I swore in a million years I would not do. Truthfully, I used to judge myself for it. Like the fact that I started to drink Starbucks coffee. And wear yoga pants. And did a juice cleanse.

Looking back on it now, I feel less ashamed and more at peace with being another stereotypical white chick. Certainly, my passions run deeper than the three things above. But Starbucks tastes good, yoga pants are super comfy and to be honest, I’d scrap the juice cleanse. Mama needs to eat. And I can say this with confidence, because I have tried a three-day juice cleanse, not once but twice. The first time was an epic failure. I did not know what I was getting myself into and I was too hungry to convince myself otherwise. I think I made it one day and moved on with my life.

The second time was far more successful…I guess. It depends what you consider success. But the point is, I did it. Three days…full of juice. (Plus a small amount of the allowed broccoli and egg whites.) Here’s my take on the whole situation and what you might expect if you try a juice cleanse:

Day 1: Motivated

This was by and large the easiest day. It’s when I was the most motivated. It’s when I wasn’t yet feeling my stomach essentially eat itself from the inside. It’s when I was full of hope for the potential of a cleanse. I mean, minus the kind of horrific (and a little chunky) green juices there were some delicious dessert-like juices that tasted far more sinful than they were. At this time, I had yet to feel the craving for something other than juice. I could (somewhat) easily handle one day.

Day 2: Hangry

Quite the opposite of Day 1, I found Day 2 to be nearly intolerable. I woke up with an empty belly and knowing the only thing I could consume was juice and maybe an egg white, I felt disenchanted with the whole idea. I started questioning why on earth I did this stupid cleanse in the first place. As the day wore on and I could have some of the more substantial juices, I became a little less hangry. Still, I was by no means pleasant. I powered through the remainder of the day, bitching about how I couldn’t wait to eat food again. And how I couldn’t believe we still had another WHOLE DAY to do this. Why would anyone subject themselves to this?!

Day 3: Confident

By the time Day 3 rolled around, I was feeling a bit more confident. After all, it was ONLY one more day. You can do anything for a day. So, I somewhat less begrudgingly stuck to the cleanse, thinking in terms of what my first solid meal would be.

Day 4: Conscious

Now the biggest challenge for me AFTER a cleanse, is deciding to eat something fulfilling, yet healthy. Because I had been depriving my body of solid foods for days, I would have eaten damn near anything. But I knew I couldn’t. I had to be strong. I had to keep in mind that I did the cleanse for a purpose. To help me detox. I couldn’t very well go back guns blazing to eat junk food. The biggest indulgence I had on Day 4 was an almond milk latte, which I like to believe isn’t too terrible. For the rest of the day I nursed myself back onto solids by having smaller portions of protein rich, low-carb foods.

At the end of the day, I will admit that I felt much better after having completed the cleanse. I felt internally lighter and had a bit more energy. I would say once in awhile, if you feel you need to realign with your health goals, it’s a good way to get started. But as a true and faithful food lover, it’s not something I look forward to doing again anytime soon.