For anyone who's seen Bravo's Vanderpump Rules, you know that Kristen has been pegged as the emotional wreck who plots, yells, hits, and wishes her ex's new girlfriend gets hit by a truck. And for anyone who hasn't, she's basically that friend who's always got some drama going on with her boyfriend, ex, or someone she slept with once. Hey, no judgment—she's a human.

As someone who can't get enough of the Vanderpump crew, I jumped at the chance to get up in the business of Kristen. I had so many questions about the show's new season: Did you really want to go on your ex's birthday trip to Hawaii? How is the T-shirt business treating you? Do you also think James Kennedy kind of looks like a Leggo man?

But after we got on the subject of her past relationships, cheating, and how she sees all of it in retrospect—including her own behavior—I realized girl has got a lot of solid love advice.

Here, some pointers on dealing with a not-so-awesome relationship—and improving the one with yourself:

Making a Clean Break
Kristen says the key part of her transformation from "crazy-ex girlfriend" to cool girl with hindsight was leaving her toxic relationships behind and working on herself. In fact, she says the moment when she realized she needed to make a fresh start came when she decided to stop the breakup/makeup pattern with James Kennedy, a 23-year-old DJ who she calls her rebound guy. "As soon as I put my foot down and said, 'I'm okay with being alone and being sad for a couple of days,' I could work on myself and my friendships."

And that isn't an easy step for someone who calls herself a "relationship gypsy." "I hadn't been single until this past summer, so I was afraid to be alone," she says. By remembering that there was something better out there for her, she stopped being scared and started getting to know herself as a single lady.

"I'm okay with being alone and being sad for a couple of days."

Part of that process meant getting some therapy: "I learned that it's not necessary to react," says Kristen. "I just had to chill the eff out." Kristen says that as soon as she realized she could just be in the moment without being impulsive, her "mess became a lot cleaner."

Facing Infidelity
In all of the seasons of Vanderpump, one thing has been constant in Kristen's relationships—and that would be cheating. And since she's been on both sides of that situation, she says she's learned a lot about how to handle it. "If you're not happy, just end it. There's no point in wasting time," she says. That was something she dealt with when she was with Tom Sandoval, her ex-boyfriend who cheated on her (it's also worth noting she cheated on him, too). Looking back, she says staying together just prolonged their misery.

"I just had to chill the eff out."

At the same time, she says that if she was willing to forgive Tom, like she said she was on season two, she should have stopped playing the victim and just forgiven him. "The last thing I should have been doing is shoving his infidelity down his throat every day," she says.

What a Good Relationship Looks Like
"On the show, one of the guys said that for me to date someone who isn't cheating on me is a waste of my talent because I can't stalk them," recalls Kristen. Despite that wasted skill of hunting down phone records, emails, and sifting through texts on a guy's phone, she says she's in an "amazing, mature, adult relationship" with a guy named Brian Carter. She adds that she never has to snoop through his phone, and sometimes forgets his phone password, "which is weird for me."

"After watching all of the seasons, I've learned that in a relationship, you have to be your partner's teammate," says Kristen. That means communicating sans passive-aggressiveness, being there for him, and also being good to yourself, she says.

Dealing with Awkward Ex Encounters
Kristen says she's come a long way from her days of telling her manager at SUR to "go suck a d*ck" and checking her ex Tom's email and phone records. "I used to be very impulsive and reactive," says Kristen. "I get it. I'm the first one to own my crazy, but people change and grow," she says.

That growth has carried over into her interactions with her two exes, Tom and James, while filming. Though she says being around them all the time while taping Vanderpump is "hell on earth," she handles the awkwardness like a pro. "Seeing Tom and Ariana at a party or something doesn't bother me. I just don't care," she says. As for her most recent ex, James, she plays it extra cool. "He always has to do something or say something to me," she says. "I don't have the energy for that, so I just try to avoid him or ignore him." #Adulting

"I'm the first one to own my crazy, but people change."

Although some cast members point out that is seems like Kristen's good behavior this season is just a stunt or an "apology tour," she says they're simply confused because she's not miserable anymore. "People can change, but even when I have my shit together, I'm still going to be opinionated and vocal," she says. "If people have a problem with that, I don't care."

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