Month: July 2018

I have a sewing machine that doesn’t get the attention I’d like it to. I have decided to get my girls, ages 7, 5 and 4, involved in some sewing projects. They really love to create with me, and it is a wonderful skill to pass on.

So, I got the pattern from a pattern book. It is copyrighted so I can’t post it here, but honestly it is a simple design that you could draw out on your own.

I took the girls to our local walmart and let them choose the fabric they wanted. Then, we changed one of the cat patterns into a bear for my middle girl, which was done by changing the ear and belly shape, and making the face slightly different.

Shopping for fabric

Once they picked out their fabrics, we copied the patterns onto the fabric and cut it out. I decided to add the belly, ears, and face appliques before sewing the whole doll. My 7 year old did a great job hand sewing all those pieces on! My 5 year old did it with some help, and my 4 year old watched me do it for her (she showed me how she wanted everything to help out).

My oldest daughter did some of the machine sewing herself with my supervision, which she loved.

The dolls came out looking handmade (lol) but not too shabby for our first doll project. I was proud of their participation, and they enjoyed having something uniquely theirs.

So, the weeks are flying by this pregnancy. I think having my first totally unassisted pregnancy is contributing to that feeling, because I don’t have my weeks punctuated with doctor’s visits and ultrasounds. Taking care of my four children, especially my toddler, is taking most of my mental space. Speaking of which, my little 21 month old tornado is breastfeeding! I made this choice for a few reasons, and it is very important to me, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy.

For starters, my milk is almost entirely gone. This means that nursing is for comfort mainly, and not comfortable for me at all. In my previous pregnancies, I weaned my toddlers because I had severe nursing aversion (imagine nails scratching a chalkboard, spiders crawling on you, and wanting to scream). Thankfully, my aversion has been mild, but nursing is still not fun without milk.

Nursing positions will get harder as the belly gets bigger. At this point I can still fit my son across my lap, but that will certainly not last too much longer. I will have to find a way to do it without bothering my belly, probably laying down on my side. This may limit how often I can nurse him.

Oh the sensitivity! Pregnancy hormones increase the sensitivity of your nipples. That may sounds like a good thing, until you consider a toddler is using them for comfort. OUCH.

Why do I want to do this? My son is not ready to wean yet. I feel that he deserves a gentle weaning process, on his own time schedule. He is having trouble gaining weight, so the longer I can nurse him, the better for his health. He is very attached to me, and I hope that continuing to nurse him after the new baby is born will help ease the transition to big brother (yea…I hope).

Also, nursing calms the savage toddler beast and gives me 5 seconds to sit rather than chase him around the house minimizing his destruction. Who knew a tornado could be so adorable?

The belly is obvious, and soon I will feel kicking (I usually feel my babies around 16 weeks). I cannot believe the 1st trimester is over already. I was feeling really exhausted and sick, so I am thankful to be mostly back to my normal self again. Of course I am still exhausted, but the typical I-have-four-kids kind.

So far this pregnancy has been totally unassisted. I have never gone 14 weeks without even an official confirmation of pregnancy before. It honestly feels very normal and casual. I can’t relate to the constant worry that many American moms experience during pregnancy, and I myself have felt before. I think perhaps because most women don’t have more than two babies, they never get to the point of “eh, it’s all good”! There are the rare ones who find UC and freebirth with their first baby, and for them I am happy.

My husband wants me to get the anatomy scan at 18 weeks to check on the baby, and he wants to know the sex. We have always found out the sex of babies (girl, girl, girl, boy). I would like a surprise this time! I understand his desire to check out the baby, and I agree to some extent, but I just “know” everything is fine and do not really want to subject myself the medical system for no reason. I have to think about it, and weigh how much it would bother me with how important it is to husband. If I were to go through with the scan, assuming all is well, that would be the first and last assistance I would receive.

The girls are very excited about the prospect of a new baby, and tell me daily they hope it’s twins. I don’t have a feeling it’s twins, even though the belly is bigger than usual at this stage for me, that is probably because it isn’t my first rodeo.

I often see in the news that my generation does not want children, and I see this in my life when I reconnect with old school friends. I am definitely in the minority, being married with children. Of those who DO have children, it is rare to find a family with more than two.

I understand there are many reasons women and men have for putting off marriage, and for limiting family size. Most cite their education and career goals as being the priority. Many of them may end up having children later in their 30s, or even 40s as it becomes increasingly common.

But what about the idea that having more than 2 or (gasp) maybe 3 children, harms the children themselves?

“You won’t have enough time for each child!”

“It is too expensive, the kids miss out!”

“You can’t show enough love to each of them!”

“The older kids raise the younger ones!”

“The kids resent their siblings!”

I would like to address these common objections here with experience from my big-but-getting-bigger family of 6 (soon to be 7).

We make time for each child. Sometimes that means scheduling a special mommy/daddy and me day with one child, alternating who it is. During the week, Daddy takes individual kids out for a walk around the neighborhood. They enjoy some time alone, getting all the attention for themselves. I rotate which child goes food shopping with me (they actually love this haha). Also, we homeschool! I spend a lot more time with my children than many parents do for that reason alone, even though I have more of them.

I do not find babies or toddlers to be expensive, they don’t need much and since I have had children already we reuse many of the same items. When they get older and want to participate in activities, it can get costly but this is where we teach them how to think critically about what they want to do the most. This past year classes included dance,music, robotics, and cheerleading for part of the year. This coming year there will be dance, music, choir, cheerleading and STEM. This does NOT include the many free or low cost activities available, often at a steeper discount for siblings. We have a YMCA membership which allow us to swim, and take classes for a low fee or for free. We make serious use our local libraries, who always have fun and free classes for the kids. State parks are favorite as well, and we have some nature loving kiddos. Lastly, many of us homeschoolers get together and make our own fun for free.

Of course we can show enough love for each of them! Our hearts expand with each child. I have a mommy sixth sense for which child needs some extra loving, and make sure to check in with them regularly. We foster trust and communication, so that they can come to us if they need anything, or feel left out. Not only does mommy and daddy give them love but they have the added benefit of many siblings who love them. The older kids adore the hugs and kisses from baby brother!

The older children do NOT raise the younger ones. This accusation often comes when people don’t understand the dynamics of a large family. In order for a bigger family to keep the household running well, everyone pitches in. That includes chores, and helping with the little ones. That said, I feel it is a benefit to give children (including the littlest members) some responsibility. We love each other, and families help one another out. This is our home together, so we all chip in to keep it nice and help each member of the family. I would never give my older kids too much responsibility, and believe me, it is momma alone who is ultimately responsible and takes on the majority of the work. I do not delegate child-rearing to my other children, and much sure that nobody feels like they are being unfairly burdened. They love “babysitting” their baby brother, and enjoy helping him and their sisters.

All siblings get on each others nerves sometimes, but we really make their relationships a priority. They are best friends, and when we take them out individually they always insist on bringing something back for their siblings. I was amazed at how they adored their baby brother, even my toddler followed their lead and never expressed much jealously (unlike when I had two children, and my oldest wanted to return her baby sister). I am expecting their newest sibling in January and they are all very excited to meet the baby, in fact, they keep hoping for TWINS.

So there you have it, I do not buy the what they naysayers are selling. Big families are often close, and homeschooling is something that I believe fosters even closer relationships between siblings (and parents). If your typically sized family is happy as it is, wonderful! But do not allow society to convince you against adding more if it is your hearts desire.