Today we live in a world that is full of war, strife, hatred and exploitation between people. It is a world based on a bodily conception of life that categorizes and then mistreats living beings on the basis of race, gender, national origin, religion, etc.The Krishna consciousness movement teaches a higher guiding principle based upon the soul. We offer to the world a panacea: We can live together peacefully only when we respect each other as individual spiritual beings, part and parcel of God. All living beings are eternal, all are sacred, and all–in their essence–are equally dear to the Supreme Lord.

To effectively teach this principle, members of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness need to be vigilant that it be properly understood and practiced within our own society and among our members. We must believe in the principle of loving, respecting, and caring for all beings as parts and parcels of Lord Krishna.

It is our sacred duty to teach, speak, and live the principles of humility and respect for all, as taught by Lord Caitanya and our Founder-Acarya, Srila Prabhupada. We must also speak out against deviations from those principles.

In 1998, the North American GBC/Temple Presidents Executive Committee found it necessary to speak out against an email conference that claimed to be founded on Vaishnava teachings that was belittling and demeaning to women.

It minimized the contributions of women, and failed to fully appreciate the role women play in our society, our families, and our temples. (See Appendix 1 below.)

Today, the International GBC Executive Committee is disturbed to learn that a blog site claiming affiliation with ISKCON, and using “Hare Krishna” in its name, has included sexist and misogynist statements. Such writings are not authorized, and they are against the principles of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness and our Vaishnava culture.

We condemn any effort to minimize the contributions and importance of women in our society. Instead, we offer the women of our society the highest respect. Women are of great value to our Vaishnava community, and have made immeasurable, indispensable, and saintly contributions as mothers, daughters, wives, pujaris, priests, teachers, and leaders.

We call upon all members of ISKCON to be living examples of the highest respect and appreciation for all living beings and to resist any temptations towards disrespect or prejudice.

Your servants,

The GBC Executive Committee

Appendix 1
1998 Statement by the North American Executive Officers

The North American GBC/Temple President Executive Officers wish to voice our strong disapproval of, and our protest against, the demeaning and ill intended statements made by some members of the GHQ com conference that were recently brought to public attention.

It is our firm position that Srila Prabhupada, the Founder-Acarya of ISKCON, intended his Hare Krishna Movement to be free from all prejudice, sexism, racism and other forms of bigotry.

We affirm that the first and foremost principle of our society is that all people (indeed all sentient beings) are eternal, sacred parts and parcels of the Supreme Lord Sri Krishna, and as such should be respected and affirmed in their individual relationship with the Lord, as well as their service to guru and Krishna.

Multiple statements made by members of this Internet conference ridicule, berate and vilify women, other minorities, and individual Vaishnava devotees. They document an organized attempt to prevent women from their God-given rights of self-expression and service to Srila Prabhupada. We denounce such views. They are opposed to the core values and principles of Vaishnava culture which upholds the devotional offerings of all souls as sacred and worthy of our respect and protection.

While we endorse open debate and dialogue within our Krishna Consciousness movement, we must speak out against any discussion that crosses the line of decency, morality, and Vaishnava etiquette and supports an agenda to exploit or minimize a section of our society.

WHEREAS, the Women’s Ministry presentation on March 1st, 2000 to the GBC Body brought a clearer understanding of the mistakes of the past and the need to provide equal and full opportunity for devotional service for all devotees in ISKCON, regardless of gender, and

WHEREAS, it is clearly following in our line that all people are welcome to join Lord Caitanya’s sankirtana movement and are capable of developing full love of God, and

WHEREAS, it is our belief that many of the social issues that confront us are exacerbated because the voice of our women, who are the mothers and daughters of our Krsna conscious family, have been hushed and stifled due to misinterpretation of our Vaisnava philosophy, and thus the human and interpersonal needs of our devotees have been minimized,

THEREFORE IT IS RESOLVED THAT:

501 [STATEMENT] 1. The members of the Governing Body Commission of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness offer their humble apologies to the women of Srila Prabhupada’s society who, because of our own shortcomings and those of the Society, have suffered due to a lack of protection, support, facility and appreciation for their service, devotion and vast contributions to the Society, and

2. [ACTION] All GBC Body members and other leaders shall hold istagosthis [meetings] in each of their respective temples to establish the priority of providing equal facilities, full encouragement and genuine care and protection for the women members of ISKCON. Also, separate meetings should be held with the leaders and women of each temple to address the women’s needs and concerns,

Women’s Participation 19 [LAW]
A. All ISKCON temples are to allow all qualified devotees, regardless
of gender, to speak on Srimad-Bhagavatam, Bhagavad-gita, etc. during the regular temple class.
B. All ISKCON temples designate half of the temple room area, divided
in the center from the altar, for the ladies.
C. If the management in a particular temple feels it is unable to
implement these proposals, the Executive Committee will appoint a small team of senior devotees, including women, to sensitively review the particular local situation.

1996

102. The GBC Body shall establish an International Women’s Ministry. This Ministry will address the following concerns in a clear, mature, and deliberate manner:

1. Appreciating the contribution of ISKCON’s female devotees.
2. Increasing understanding of the serious concerns of women in ISKCON.
3. Providing facility, communication and support for all female members of ISKCON.
4. Addressing issues of abuse and sexual impropriety in ISKCON.
5. Defining the different female devotee situations (e.g. grhastha women, older, renounced women, and brahmacarinis).
6. Working with temple authorities and GBCs to identify role models and encourage them to inspire and train junior Vaisnavis.

The first duties of this Ministry:
1. Establishment of Regional Ministers (who will serve on a worldwide Women’s Ministerial Council.)
2. Selection of an International Women’s Minister.
3. Communication with regional GBC, temple presidents and other leaders as to the purposes, understanding and practical application of the Women’s Ministry in each individual region.
4. Positive, regional guidelines for protecting ISKCON women, including domestic violence, sexual impropriety, etc.

The first objectives of this Ministry:
STEP ONE: (Complete by July 1996)
Appoint Regional Ministers. The regional minister will by chosen conjointly by local senior Vaisnavis, GBC, and other ISKCON leaders. Her qualifications include: ability to communicate maturely with local leaders, senior and junior female devotees and female congregation; genuine understanding of the needs and concerns of ladies; ability to proceed with Women’s Ministry responsibilities in a non-confrontational yet serious manner.

STEP TWO: (Complete by October 1996)
Choose an International Minister. The International Minister will be chosen as follows:

1. Senior Vaisnavis from each region will nominate appropriate candidates.
2. Discussion of these candidates will ensue via COM, mail and phone.
Sudharma dasi, with the help of Bhaktitirtha Swami, Madhusevita Prabhu, and Bir Krishna Goswami will ensure the completion of these tasks.

ISKCON is a family where everyone should feel welcome. Although temple environments may differ, the underlying principle of facilitating ladies’ sadhana must remain, based on an attitude of encouragement and respect.

104. [LAW] 620. THAT the following is added to GBC resolution 413-96: “Standards of a temple president: A female temple president should;
– see all men as son except her husband.
– never be alone with a man except one’s husband.
– avoid intimate dealings with men.
– as far as possible appoint a senior man to deal with men’s affairs.
– in certain conditions it may be prudent for a female president to
have her husband deal with the men, or for a male president to have his wife deal with the women. The general principle is that the temple president should avoid intimate dealings with the opposite sex.”

1997

THAT the GBC Body hereby declares that the International Society for Krishna Consciousness does not condone abuse of any kind, especially that which is directed towards dependents such as women, children, aged and cows. Battery, verbal and emotional abuse are destructive to the devotional creeper and thus considered serious Vaisnava aparadhas. Any attempt to justify this type of abusive mentality on the basis of sastra is misconstrued and is firmly rejected by all practicing Vaisnavas.

THAT every ISKCON temple is to provide equal facility for both women and men to chant japa. This may mean equal or appropriate facility, or common or alternative use of the temple room as acceptable by everyone.

1999

504. [VISION AND GOAL] VARNASRAMA DHARMA AND CARE FOR DEVOTEES
Whereas Srila Prabhupada repeatedly and consistently advocated the implementation of Varnasrama as the panacea for all of societies social imbalances, and

Whereas Srila Prabhupada instructed that Varnasrama must be implemented within ISKCON,
It is resolved THAT

as a humble beginning of the process of implementing Daivi-varnasrama within ISKCON, the GBC Body emphasizes the need to care for devotees in the following fundamental areas:

Children
Women
Elderly
Brahmanas
Cows

2000

Women’s Participation618 [LAW]

WHEREAS, the Women’s Ministry presentation on March 1st, 2000 to the GBC Body brought a clearer understanding of the mistakes of the past and the need to provide equal and full opportunity for devotional service for all devotees in ISKCON, regardless of gender, and

WHEREAS, it is clearly following in our line that all people are welcome to join Lord Caitanya’s sankirtana movement and are capable of developing full love of God, and

WHEREAS, it is our belief that many of the social issues that confront us are exacerbated because the voice of our women, who are the mothers and daughters of our Krsna conscious family, have been hushed and stifled due to misinterpretation of our Vaisnava philosophy, and thus the human and interpersonal needs of our devotees have been minimized,

THEREFORE IT IS RESOLVED THAT:

501 [STATEMENT] 1. The members of the Governing Body Commission of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness offer their humble apologies to the women of Srila Prabhupada’s society who, because of our own shortcomings and those of the Society, have suffered due to a lack of protection, support, facility and appreciation for their service, devotion and vast contributions to the Society, and

2. [ACTION] All GBC Body members and other leaders shall hold istagosthis [meetings] in each of their respective temples to establish the priority of providing equal facilities, full encouragement and genuine care and protection for the women members of ISKCON. Also, separate meetings should be held with the leaders and women of each temple to address the women’s needs and concerns,

Women’s Participation 19 [LAW]
A. All ISKCON temples are to allow all qualified devotees, regardless
of gender, to speak on Srimad-Bhagavatam, Bhagavad-gita, etc. during the regular temple class.
B. All ISKCON temples designate half of the temple room area, divided
in the center from the altar, for the ladies.
C. If the management in a particular temple feels it is unable to
implement these proposals, the Executive Committee will appoint a small team of senior devotees, including women, to sensitively review the particular local situation.

2002

502 Women’s Issue Discussion in India
Whereas, there is a need for a dialogue between the GBC Body and ISKCON leaders in India about implementation of the resolution 618/2000 concerning women in ISKCON;

[ACTION ORDER] Resolved, That the GBC Body hereby appoints a subcommittee, whose members will be selected by the Executive Committee, of three or four devotees to engage in discussions over the course of the next 12 months or longer with the members of the Indian Continental Committee (ICC) with a mandate to:

1. Explain resolution 618/2000 and the intention of the GBC Body as to how it should be implemented in India.
2. Carefully hear the various objections being raised by different members of the ICC.
3. Attempt to isolate whatever genuinely contentious issues exist and prepare a joint statement explaining all viewpoints on these issues.
4. Seek out possible resolutions for these contentious issues and report back to
the GBC Body and ICC, possibly with recommendations for further action by
either body.

417.Endorsement of the Grihastha Ashram and Community Development
[Statement]
The Governing Body Commission expresses its support and encouragement to devotees serving in the grihastha ashram.

We affirm that the grihastha ashram is a valuable institution that brings great benefit. Those who sincerely serve Lord Sri Krishna and Srila Prabhupada in this ashram will make tangible spiritual advancement.

We also affirm the importance in ISKCON of nurturing strong marriages, encouraging harmony in families, improving the welfare of children, ensuring the protection and care of women, discouraging divorce, and enlivening grihastha men and women in Krishna’s service.

We hereby pledge ourselves, and will encourage our regional and other senior leaders, to:
Promote an environment conducive to successful Krishna conscious family life in ISKCON temples and communities

Encourage on-going support for Vaisnava families in ISKCON communities through Krishna conscious grihastha activities, community preaching programs, and other initiatives

Educate congregations, and particularly youth, about the spiritual and social value of Krishna conscious marriage based on Srila Prabhupada’s teachings

Confront and correct any preaching or teaching that undermines the health and strength of the grihastha ashram, or discriminates against spiritually based grihastha life

Engage in thoughtful and meaningful discourse about the responsibilities, privileges, and goals of grihastha life with devotees who are considering marriage

Ensure that marriages facilitated under our care prioritize the needs of the individuals involved, and the health and longevity of the marriage

Encourage professionally developed pre-marital counseling for all potential grihastha couples

Match newly married devotees, whenever possible, with mature, spiritually strong couples who can act as mentors and supporters

Be trained personally, as appropriate, in marital counseling, communication and conflict resolution skills

2006

425.Female Diksa Guru
[Statement]
The GBC accepts the basic philosophical conclusion presented in the SAC’s Female Diksa Guru Paper, i.e. that a mature, qualified, female devotee may accept the role of an initiating spiritual master. The implementation thereof is pending further GBC consideration.

420.Task Force on Abuse of Women
[Action Order]
Whereas it is the duty of the leadership of a spiritual society to protect its members so that they can peacefully perform devotional service to Sri Sri Radha Krishna
Therefore it is resolved that:
The GBC Body hereby directs the GBC CCO and Tamohara Prabhu to coordinate a Task Force to define and deal with abuse against women in ISKCON.421. Women’s Ministry Regional Representatives
[Guideline]
Whereas women reside in ISKCON temples and communities across the globe where customs, culture, and facility vary greatly. While the basic principles of full engagement in devotional service, protection, and freedom from exploitation are foundational principles for all women, how they are applied locally may vary. Thus, it is imperative that the Women’s Ministry is properly represented in each region of the globe.

Therefore the GBC Body hereby recommends that the Regional Governing Bodies (RGBs) work with the ISKCON Women’s Ministry to designate, at their determination, either a Women’s Ministry representative or a Women’s Ministry Council for their respective region. This representative or Council will operate under the direction and auspices of both the Women’s Ministry and the RGBs.

2008

311. End Notes or Appendices in Srila Prabhupada’s Books
Whereas some of Srila Prabhupada’s books contain sentences such as the following, which when taken in isolation may be considered derogatory to and offensive against women:

Although rape is not legally allowed, it is a fact that a woman likes a man who is very expert at rape. (SB 4.25.41, p.)
When a husbandless woman is attacked by an aggressive man, she takes his action to be mercy. (SB 4.25.42, p.)
Generally, when a woman is attacked by a man–whether her husband or some other man–she enjoys the attack, being too lusty. (SB 4.26.26, p.)

Whereas some ISKCON devotees may have used these statements out of context as an excuse to offend, neglect and abuse women;

Whereas some people who read such statements may consider them to be derogatory or offensive, may misunderstand what Srila Prabhupada actually means, and may not want to further read those books, notwithstanding the many other beneficial statements in them;

RESOLVED: That the GBC Body recommends to the BBT Trustees that the above quotes, and other such statements as determined by the BBT, be explained in endnotes or in appendices.

2009

305.Female Diksa Gurus
[Action Order]
Whereas there is a factual need for more diksa-gurus in ISKCON to accommodate the worldwide preaching;
Whereas there are mature female preachers qualified to take on diksa-guru responsibilities;
Whereas there are a number of such qualified women who already have siksa disciples;
Whereas the GBC Body previously issued the following statement in 2005, which has now been given further consideration:

425. Female Diksa Guru
The GBC accepts the basic philosophical conclusion presented in the SAC’s Female Diksa Guru Paper, i.e. that a mature, qualified, female devotee may accept the role of an initiating spiritual master. The implementation thereof is pending further GBC consideration.

RESOLVED:
1. That resolution 425/2005 – Female Diksa Guru is amended to read as follows:
The GBC accepts the philosophical conclusion presented in the SAC’s Female Diksa Guru Paper that a mature, qualified, female devotee may accept the role of an initiating spiritual master.
2. The GBC Body authorizes local area committees to put forward for approval as initiating guru any devotee in their area, male or female, who is qualified according to existing GBC Law.

2013

309.Female Diksa Gurus

The subject of Vaisnavis initiating in ISKCON is tabled until the GBC Annual General Meeting 2014.

310.Female Diksa Guru Research Paper

Whereas there is a need for clarity in ISKCON’s current policy regarding Vaisnavi diksa gurus;

And whereas there have been calls for additional references and support from Srila Prabhupada and the sastra to explain and justify that policy:

RESOLVED:

A GBC committee consisting of Bir Krishna Das Goswami (convenor), Bhanu Swami, Badrinarayan Das and Praghosa Das shall research and write a paper on the subject of female diksa gurus based on Srila Prabhupada’s teachings, sastra, and historical precedents. The committee may enlist the service of other devotees including current members of the Sastric Advisory Council.

The committee will specifically document and provide justification of the current ISKCON policy, or reasons to reconsider that policy.

The committee shall send a draft of its work to the GBC Executive Committee by September 30, 2013 so that it may be circulated to the GBC members in advance of the Midtermr GBC meeting in Mumbai in October 2013, and may be discussed there.

The committee will then consider the input from the GBC members and complete a final draft to be sent to the Executive Committee by January 15, 2014. The Executive Committee will circulate that final draft so that it may be discussed and voted upon at the AGM in 2014.

2014

312:Should Women be Called “Prabhu”, “Mataji”, or “Devi”?

Whereas in ISKCON men had generally been taught to see all women other than their wives as mother;

Whereas in more recent times a practice has gained momentum that women should not be called “Mataji,” but “Prabhu;”

Whereas the word “Prabhu” is traditionally used to address men;

Whereas one section of ISKCON considers addressing women as “Prabhu” to have no cultural or
linguistic backing, or any evidentiary or experiential support from Srila Prabhupada’s teachings;

Whereas there is increasing discord among the proponents of these two opinions;

Whereas all initiated women also have the title “Devi” as part of their spiritual name, an address that could also apply to the non-initiated

RESOLVED:

That the Sastric Advisory Committee is requested to research the evidence for women being called “Mataji”, “Prabhu” or “Devi” and give a conclusive directive as to which of these terms should and should not be used by members of ISKCON.

Whereas there is no description of Srila Prabhupada ever leading kirtan like this, nor of any devotee leading kirtan like this in Srila Prabhupada’s presence;
Whereas this new practice emphasizes the bodily conception of life and our false designations as man and woman;

Whereas when such questionable chanting occurs, some devotees are uncomfortable, alienated, disturbed, or may even refuse to participate in such a kirtan, and thus the unity of our movement, even in its most core activity—sankirtan—is jeopardized

RESOLVED:

Kirtan leaders in all temple and public programs, should refrain from separating the congregation into responding sections based on bodily considerations like male, female, young, old, etc.

321. Female Diksa Gurus

The subject of Vaisnavis initiating in ISKCON is further tabled until additional discussion at the 2014 GBC Midterm Meeting. In the meantime the GBC Eexecutive Committee will work on the following process:

1. Creating a committee of devotees who have no pre-determined view on this topic who will gather documents from all sources on the subject of female diksa-gurus.

2. The committee will sort, summarize, and categorize all documentation. Categories could include Srila Prabhupada’s quotations, varnasrama-dharma, history within our
sampradaya and other Vaisnava sampradayas, etc.

3. As far as possible all documentation will be verified for accuracy, authenticity, etc.

4. As far as possible this committee will do whatever other research may be required.

5. The committee will then provide all those documents to the GBC members prior to the Midterm meeting. Thus all GBC members will come to the Midterm Meeting well

aware of all the arguments, information, and evidences available. This will then enable the GBC to make either informed progress or an informed decision on this matter.

Presented at the First Annual Women’s Ministry Conference in Los Angeles 1997

Historical Report: “From about 1965 up to 1974, time when Srila Prabhupada had to get less and less involved in temple management because of translating work and the tremendous increase of disciples and temples, the women devotee’s situation changed very little from what Srila Prabhupada had originally established. From 1974 their situation started to significantly deteriorate and got worse very fast until it reached its paroxysm before Srila Prabhupada’s departure.

When Prabhupada decided to accept women in the movement, he did so according to the reasoning he himself quotes in the Chaitanya Charitamrta, M.L., Ch. 23 purport of verse 105: “To broadcast the cult of Krishna Consciousness, one has to learn the possibility of renunciation in terms of country, time and candidate. . . He must avoid the principle of niyamagraha, that is, he should not try to perform the impossible. What is possible in one country may not be possible in another. The acarya’s duty is to accept the essence of devotional service. There may be a little change here and a little change there as far as yukta-vairagya (proper renunciation) is concerned . . . The essence of devotional service must be taken into consideration, and not the outward paraphernalia . . . A vaishnava is immediately purified, provided he follows the rules and regulations of his bonafide spiritual master. It is not necessary that the rules and regulations followed in India be exactly the same as those in Europe, America and other Western countries. Simply imitating without effect is called niyamagraha. Not following the regulative principles but instead living extravagantly is also called niyamagraha . . . We should not follow regulative principles without an effect, nor should we fail to accept the regulative principles. What is required is a special technique according to country, time and candidate . . . .”

Srila Prabhupada followed this reasoning concerning not only the acceptation of women in the ashramas, but also lots of other subject matters, such as the practice of renunciation, which is being dealt with in the quote, preaching methods, only a partial introduction of Vedic culture, Deity worship, etc . . . . Everything that he introduced or did not introduce was deeply thought about, very carefully and logically analyzed. When he was asked, several years later, if he would have preferred to establish the movement differently, he answered that if it was to be done again he would do it exactly the same way.

Despite the fact that he had been criticized several times in India, because of all the changes he was introducing, Srila Prabhupada kept them and justified his position regarding the women devotees once more in the Chaitanya Charitamrta A.L. ch. 7, purport of verses 32 and 38. “An acarya who comes for the service of the Lord cannot be expected to conform to a stereotype, for he must find the ways and means by which Krishna Consciousness may be spread. Sometimes jealous persons criticize the Krishna Consciousness movement because it engages equally both boys and girls in distribution of love of Godhead. Not knowing that boys and girls in countries like Europe and America mix very freely, these fools and rascals criticize the boys and girls in Krishna Consciousness for intermingling. But these rascals should consider that one cannot suddenly change a community’s social customs. However, since both boys and girls are being trained to become preachers those girls are not ordinary girls but are as good as their brothers who are preaching Krishna Consciousness. Therefore to engage both boys and girls in fully transcendental activities is a policy intended to spread the Krishna Consciousness movement . . . The results of this are wonderful. Both men and women are preaching the gospel of Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and Lord Krishna with redoubled strength . . . Therefore it is a principle that a preacher must strictly follow the rules and regulations laid down in the shastra’s yet at the same time devise a means by which the preaching work to reclaim the fallen may go with full force.”

By accepting women in the temples and giving them the brahmacarini status, Prabhupada was not pretending, he gave them all the same rights and duties of the brahmacaris in the guru’s ashrama. The same thing applied when he gave them Brahman initiation. The women devotees had exactly the same spiritual activities, the same tasks, the same possibilities to progress spiritually and they were entitled to the same respect. At that time everything was done according to the abilities and the spiritual advancement of a person and not according to sex. Prabhupada did not make any distinction.

* Women, as well as men, accompanied Prabhupada when he was traveling and served him as secretaries, as did Arundhati, or served him personally as did Janaki.

* They gave classes and public lectures. The most renowned was Jadurani who was endowed with great erudition.

* Women were in charge of the Deities and performed public aratis. Jamuna, Shilavati, Rukmini and Mandakini were the most famous.

* Men and women circumambulated Tulasi together without mixing, forming a circle separated in two halves, one half for the men, the other half for the women.

* Women paid dandavats to Prabhupada.

* Women offered garlands to Prabhupada personally or to his picture.

* Women performed aratis to Prabhupada’s picture on his vyasasana during Guru-puja.

* Women devotees were on one side of the temple room, men devotees on the other side, during kirtanas as well as classes and japa.

* During Guru-puja, men and women offered flowers simultaneously to Prabhupada, forming two lines, and women as well as men paid their obeisance’s in front of the vyasasana.

* When Srila Prabhupada was personally present, women as well as men could stand next to him.

* During harinamas (called at that time sankirtanas), Prabhupada had asked that the women stand between two groups of men, one in front and one behind so that they could be protected.

* Women wrote articles in magazines. Prabhupada personally asked Bibhavati who had been journalist previously, to do so.

* As far as the service of temple president was concerned, Srila Prabhupada included husband and wife, he recommended them to be father and mother of the devotees they were in charge of.

* Women were doing things that, later on, they were forbidden to do in front of Srila Prabhupada himself; Jamuna was leading kirtans in front of him, Himavati gave pubic conferences, Jyotirmayi and Rukmini performed arati in front of him.

* Women had access to important responsibilities: Jadurani was in charge of the BBT (Bhaktivedanta Book Trust) painting department, Jamuna or Govinda dasi were proposed as the GBC (Governing Body Commissioners) by Prabhupada, Kausalya organized pandals, Varanasi was temple commander, Jyotirmayi BBT chief translator, etc.

* The grhasta status was very respected. Prabhupada was very proud of his couples who were opening temples together.

* Men and women chanted japa together in the temple room during the morning program.

The positive results of the way Prabhupada was relating to his women disciples will be presented later on, opposed to the negative results of the decisions taken later on by the leaders, which are going to be discussed now.

After the first six years of the movement, at the beginning of the 1970’s, a first change took place, which of course was not contested by anyone. Instead of being mixed in the temple room without any distinction of sex, men and women devotees were separated and were placed on each side of the temple room. In 1973 a second change happened, not very important either, but it was foreboding lots of other changes which were going to follow faster and faster and cause lots of harm to the movement–women devotees were forbidden to do dandavat.

Everything began in America and was imported in France only gradually from around 1974. There, a note on the temple room door said that women devotees were forbidden to lead kirtans or to give class. Then they were forbidden to circumambulate Tulasi with men devotees, could not chant japa in the temple room, they had to stay behind the men in the temple during kirtans, classes, harinama, each of their important responsibilities were removed, as well as their right to offer aratis to Prabhupada. They were no longer authorized to offer public arati (mangala and sundara arati) to the murtis, to go on the altar and get close to the murtis. They could not pay obeisances in front of the vyasasana anymore, they had to offer flowers after the men, and later only after Guru-puja was over, etc., etc. Simultaneously with the status of the women, the status of the married men was seriously depreciated, female children became a matter of shame.

As those new decisions were adopted and instead of the simple separation between men and women that Prabhupada wanted, a real segregation was taking place, the women devotees went to see Prabhupada to tell him about it and each time he asked that the standard that he had established remained the same. Two times Jyotirmayi asked Prabhupada about her giving classes, once verbally, another time in a letter; each time Prabhupada told her that it was perfectly all right. Then Prabhupada left his body and there was no one to appeal to any longer concerning this subject and others, even more serious.

Then the effects of those restraints started to really upset the lives of some of the women devotees. Shilavati for example, the most qualified pujari of the movement at that time, had her service removed and was forbidden to go on with the service in which she had put all her heart and soul for so many years. Jyotirmayi also had her responsibility for the BBT removed and today, more than 20 years later, she has to correct all the mistakes that have been made when she could not supervise the work anymore. There are so many other examples. On the whole these unfortunate effects swept away the wonderful spirit established by Prabhupada. Questioned by Gurudas about the difference of atmosphere between the first years and the subsequent ones, Srila Prabhupada answered with regret: “Yes, before it was a family.”

* Instead of brotherhood between men and women devotees, aggressiveness, suspicion and fear appeared.

* Instead of caring for one another, there was nothing but indifference.

* Instead of mutual respect, there was contempt of the men for the women and of women amongst themselves.

* Instead of admiration for someone because of his/her material and spiritual abilities, it was only according to the title and the position.

* Submission to the male authorities became blind and fanatical, tinged with “sexuality” (creation of “groupies” and feminine “fan clubs.”)

* Instead of being considered full fledged devotees, women were considered only as “women” in the most pejorative sense.

* Women were not considered Brahmanas anymore (except for the puja when this service was given back to them.)

* Women devotees did not consider men as sons anymore and men did not behave with women as mothers but as enemies.

* Instead of sane and constructive criticisms aiming at progressing, we could see a fault-finding mentality with an unhealthy purpose.

* Women were not recognized for their services, but often men received the credit for them.

* Instead of being accepted and utilized, women’s talents were discredited and rejected if they did not match the new standard.

* The idea came up not to give academic education to the girls, but fortunately Prabhupada did not allow that to happen.

* Women were considered stupid and incapable and became subject to gross mockery.

* Only those who could collect were appreciated.

* Instead of being seen as spirit souls and godsisters, they were only considered as sex objects to be rejected and avoided.

* Adultery and illicit connections, which were excuses to mistreat women devotees, increased instead of decrease.

* Instead of being admired by other women, and example to follow, a goal to reach, intelligent and dynamic women became subject to scorn and malicious talks from other women.

* Spiritual practices of women weakened, enthusiasm went down and services suffered.

* New devotee women, lacking outstanding examples to follow, did not get anymore the motivation that leads to great achievements, to the great detriment of Srila Prabhupada’s mission.

* Lots of women lost the spirit of Prabhupada’s mission.

* According to their own personality, women either indulged in an easy going situation or lived in frustration and discouragement. It was more difficult for those who had known ISKCON at the beginning when it was lead by the kind but firm hand of Prabhupada, or those who had purely followed his example, and for those who were in charge of important services.

* For most of the women who had not known the movement at the beginning and not met Srila Prabhupada personally, these detrimental psychological effect appeared without their being conscious of it because they did not know anything else and had no other frame of reference.

* Belittled in such a way, lots of women lost confidence in themselves and in their material and spiritual abilities, accepted to be deprived of their human dignity and played the part that was expected from them, being brainless, ignorant and unproductive.

* Exceptionally active and intelligent women, which were numerous in the beginning, no longer joined the movement and women’s conditions in our temples became subject to very bad press for our movement.

* Prabhupada’s movement, so much in need of arms and heads to accomplish his mission, thus lost a good amount of its strength because on one side the potency of the women in the temple decreased and on the other side fewer women joined the movement.

* The marriages also suffered as a consequence of this new mentality because women were considered as nothing else but an object for sensual desires and not anymore as spiritual personalities: relations between spouses got worse and worse, deprived of the affection and mutual respect required for the good harmony of a couple.

* Women having been put down, so was the married man, internal quarrels between grhastas brahmacaris and sannyasis started.

* Children were of course last on the list of priorities and were very neglected.

It may seem that I depict here a very dark picture, but everything can be confirmed with lots of examples. However, we have to consider that those events were more or less acute according to the temple, the country and the leaders’ personality. Most of those abuses took place in America; France was less touched. Moreover, women devotees performing sankirtan (book distribution) in France suffered a lot less because their situation was always privileged and protected because of their service. This was not the case in America where unbelievable abuses took place. Moreover, even if ISKCON was deviating from the original teachings regarding this aspect and others, it kept its other qualities; it was still Lord Chaitanya’s movement and the path leading to Krishna and those imperfections did not stop sincere women to know great spiritual joys and progress despite all obstacles. Fortunately the position of women has improved over the years. [Back Home] 2nd Part: PHILOSOPHICAL ARGUMENTS AND PRABHUPADA’S PRACTICAL APPLICATION

REASONS FOR THIS DEBATE: Many of the changes brought in the movement, whether concerning the women or other vital elements of ISKCON, have done great damage to the beauty and the greatness of Srila Prabhupada’s contribution to the world. Having known to a certain extent the movement from almost its beginning (from 1969), a number of the first devotees and Srila Prabhupada personally, I feel responsible to share this experience with other newer devotees in order to help correct the faults and give back to ISKCON its original wonderful nature.

AUTHORITATIVENESS OF THIS ENDEAVOR: Convinced at heart and by practical experiences that Prabhupada was not at the origin of the negative changes of women’s position in ISKCON, I personally asked Satsvarupa Maharaja and had someone ask Brahmananda Prabhu, who both associated very intimately and for long periods of time with Srila Prabhupada, if they had ever heard him personally give instruction for these changes to occur. Both said no, that they were instituted by the leading men of the movement.

After a lecture I gave on the subject during a Communication Seminar by Mukunda Maharaja, he told me to take as a special mission the re-establishment of the women’s proper situation in ISKCON.

Param Gati Maharaja, the GBC for France, fully backs up my endeavor for informing the devotees about the way things were when Srila Prabhupada directly managed the temples and trained the devotees and about the most wonderful spirit he created.

“AUTHENTICITY OF THE PROPOSED ARGUMENTS Our subject here deals with the social application of Krishna Conscious principles, not with the philosophical knowledge. Therefore many of the arguments given here do not come from Prabhupada’s books but from conversations between Srila Prabhupada and his disciples in daily encounters, most of which of course did not get recorded. Many devotees do not trust these ‘”Prabhupada’s said,” but Prabhupada himself gave his opinion about these ‘”Prabhupada said.” In a reunion in Mayapura in 1975, the GBC told Prabhupada: “There are so many “Prabhupada said,” better only accept what is in the books and tapes.” Srila Prabhupada answered: ‘”No, what I say in talks also, many things I say are not in my books.'”(From Himavati.) My information is coming from a notebook in which all along the years, I noted the anecdotes related to me by devotees who lived closely with Prabhupada, or by devotees who received these stories from these first disciples. My other stores, which are irrefutable, are from Srila Prabhupada’s letters.

CONTRADICTORY STATEMENTS Many devotees are puzzled by the many seemingly contradictory statements appearing in Srila Prabhupada’s books and talks, while others choose to quote and act only upon those fitting their own desires and conditioning while completely avoiding to see their counterpart. But devotees must learn, by analyzing scrutinizingly Srila Prabhupada’s teachings as a whole, to understand how Prabhupada in his great intelligence and love knew how to change or adapt an instruction according to the spiritual need in a particular time and place. In the following list of anecdotes or quotes showing Srila Prabhupada’s attitude towards women in ISKCON, this kind of apparent contradiction will sometimes occur.

EQUALITY AND EQUAL TREATMENT Often pushed by his male disciples to minimize ISKCON women spiritual position, Srila Prabhupada reacted for example in the following way:

* Srila Prabhupada: ‘”You dance, she dances. You sing, she sings, you cook, she cooks, there is no difference. You are the same in Krishna’s eyes.”

* While during a darshan Srila Prabhupada had a brahmacari distribute a little prasad to everyone present, the boy gave prasad to all the men and sat down. Srila Prabhupada noticed that he did not serve the only two girls present and said: “Give them also prasad, why don’t you serve them?”

WOMANLY DUTIES Srila Prabhupada often stressed that women took up traditional roles:

* “Girls who are living in New Vrindavan should be engaged in the following activities: 1) “Taking care of the children, 2) cleaning the temple, kitchen, etc., 3) cooking and 4) churning butter” (letter to Labangalatika, 1969)

* “A women’s real business is to look after household affairs, keep everything neat and clean. . . . .the women should be sewing.” (letter to Chaya Dasi, 1972) There is not doubt that householder women inside ISKCON or outside, recognize that cooking, cleaning, sewing, taking care of children are their basic activities. As a mother, I spend myself a good part of my time in these matters. But the point is that a woman is not limited to these activities only, if she has abilities for other activities, as will show the following quotes and anecdotes:

* Bhibavati asked Srila Prabhupada “Should I live like in the Vedic times, and simply serve my husband and child?” Srila Prabhupada answered, “No, you have a talent as a writer, you should write articles for newspapers and propagate Krishna Consciousness. (Bhibavati)

* “You have good writing capacity, and good artistic ability. Now devote your life to chanting Hare Krishna and if possible write articles on Krishna Consciousness, as many as possible with your own paintings and send it for publication to Back to Godhead.” (letter to Govinda Dasi, 1974)

* “The nursery school program is very good. That is good that the mothers are being freed to increase their devotional service.” (letter to Jayatirtha, 1975)

* “All the wives of our students should be trained up for Deity worship and cooking, and when possible they should go on Sankirtana party with their husband and others.” (letter to Hamsadutta, 1970)

* “I am very glad to know that you are engaged as pujari there. Try to learn this art of arcana very nicely. ..I wish that all our girl devotees be expert in the matter of arcana . . . ” (letter to Kanchanbala, 1970)

* When the service of Deity worship was being taken away from women, Srila Prabhupada wrote, “Regarding women worshipping the Deity, in the Bhagavad-gita it is stated: striyo vaisyas tathasudras, te ‘pi yanti param gatim. The idea is that everyone who is properly initiated and following the rules and regulations can worship the Deity.” (letter to Uttama Sloka, 1974)

* So far your question regarding women, I have always accepted the service of women without any discrimination, so I have no objection if Yamuna devi contributes her ideas on this construction project. Nothing should be done without group consultation. (letter to Guru Das, 1972)

WOMEN IN POSTS OF RESPONSIBILITIES Many men were opposed to women being given posts of responsibilities and refused to work under them.

* Atreya Rsi asked Srila Prabhupada if women could be given great responsibilities. Srila Prabhupada answered, “Yes, if they are Krishna Conscious.” Then he gave the example of Jahnava, the wife of Nityananda Prabhu, who took charge of the whole Vaishnava community after His departure. (Atreya Rsi)

* “Chanakya Pandita said not to trust those who do not control their senses, politicians and women. But this applies to non-devotee women, not our women, because they do control their senses.” (class in Los Angeles 1972)

* When a male devotee refused to be instructed by Jadurani, the head of the art department, because of her being a woman, Prabhupada called him in and ordered him to accept her instructions.

WOMANLY QUALITIES FAVORABLE TO DEVOTIONAL SERVICE

* “A devotee should have the courage of an English officer and the heart of a Bengali mother,” used to say Srila Prabhupada.

* “Women are better than men because they can accept any position.” (Bhavatrini)

WOMEN LEADING KIRTANS AND BHAJANAS “An important apparent contradiction comes from a statement in the scriptures that a sanyasi and a brahmacari should not hear a woman’s voice. But Srila Prabhupada had men and women chant japa together, women lead kirtans in the temple and in public engagements and the women gave classes.

* Srila Prabhupada had Yamuna (one of our best singers) lead kirtans in front of crowds of guests and devotees, which included of course sannyasis and brahmacaris.

* Yamuna, Lilavati, Kausalya and later Parijata, Jyotirmayi and many others used to routinely lead kirtans.

* “I want to organize a women kirtan party singing the Gita-Gan. Can you help me?” (letter to Gargamuni Maharaja, 1974)

* In France, when he noticed that Jyotirmayi could pronounce the sanskrit better than others (she had been taught by Nitai, his personal sanskrit secretary), Srila Prabhupada said that from then on, she should lead the recitation of the sanskrit verses before class. (Jyotirmayi, 1972)

* During his massage Prabhupada heard a letter from Jayasacinandana in Los Angeles written on behalf of a group of brahmacaris. In every ISKCON temple of the world the assembled devotees offer their obeisances to the Deities in the morning as the Govindam prayers loudly play, George Harrison recorded it and Yamuna sings the mantras. Disturbed by this custom, Jaysacinandana quoted Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur (as well as Srila Prabhupada) that if a brahmacari hears and is attracted to a woman singing, it is a subtle fall down. “In light of this, he wrote, many of the brahmacaris approached the temple president to see if it would be possible that when the Deities are greeted in the morning, instead of listening to Gurudasa Maharaja’s former wife singing the Brahma-samhita prayers, we could listen to Your Divine Grace rather than hear a woman sing.” He did not want to change the tape because it has been a standard thing in ISKCON since 1970. “So requested by many devotees, I am inquiring from Your Divine Grace if we could play a tape recording of your singing instead of a woman when the Deities of Rukmini Dvarkadhisha are greeted in the morning. I am sure that all the devotees would be enlivened to hear you instead of electric guitars, the London symphonic orchestra, etc., etc . . . . . . ” Prabhupada was not pleased. He said that constantly changing things is “our western disease.” His reply was short and direct. “No! You have made some discovery. All along you have been hearing the recording of Yamuna dasi and now you want to change. It is not ordinary singing, it is not concert. Many people are singing, so it is not bad. Just like Sankirtana. I approve of it. Here in the Krishna-Balarama temple we are hearing the same recording every morning. So if it is good here, why not there?” (Hari Sauri, Dec 1975, Vrndavan, “A Transcendental Diary.”)

WOMEN’S ADVANCEMENT

* For a long period of time, women in ISKCON have been considered unfit for real spiritual advancement. Their only hope was to become men in their next life and start spiritual life from that point.

* Srila Prabhupada said about Yamuna in the early 70’s that she had reached the stage of bhava.

* “In the Bhagavad-gita we find that women are also equally competent like the men in the matter of Krishna consciousness movement.” (letter to Himavati, 1969)

* We are Vaishnavas. We are not concerned with male of female position in life. That is simply bodily concept of life. It is not spiritual. Whether one is male or female, it does not matter, simply chant Hare Krishna and follow the four regulative principles and your life will be perfect.” (letter to Jennifer, 1975)

* It is not that women should only produce children, but they are meant for advancing in devotion.” (letter to Jayatirtha, 1975)

WOMEN AS DANGEROUS FOR MEN Many men in the movement have used various scriptural statements on women’s faults to rebuke and humiliate them, hinder their service and advancement, or even try to drive them out of the movement.

* When Srila Prabhupada first said in a class that for a man association with a woman is dangerous because she makes him loose control over his senses, the male devotees started acting very nastily with the women of that particular temple. The ladies expressed their pain to Prabhupada who then called in all the men and said: “I was talking of materialistic women, not of the women of the movement. These are angels.”

* Srila Prabhupada also said in another instance: “When we talk of women, we do not talk about those of our movement because by associating with these women, if they are Krishna Conscious, you will be liberated.” (Madhavananda)

* A disciple of Swami Narayana said to Srila Prabhupada: “My spiritual master said to avoid all women and to never go where there are women.” Srila Prabhupada laughed and said: “That is impossible, there are women everywhere.” Then, coming back to the temple and watching two women devotees bow down to him, he said: “By associating with these women, you will be purified.” (Madhavananda)

* In various occasions, brahmacaris complained to Srila Prabhupada that they were agitated by the presence of women in the temple, and Srila Prabhupada replied that if they could not restrain their senses, they should go live alone in the forest.

* “regarding the disturbance made by the women devotees, they are also living beings. They also come to Krishna. So consciously I cannot deny them. If our male members, the brahmacaris and sannyasis, if they become steady in Krishna Consciousness, there is not problem. It is the duty of the male members to be very steady and cautious.” (letter to Gargamuni Swami, 1975)

WOMEN’S WELL BEING For years men were always given the best facilities (as far as living quarters, chanting japa, sitting places in a van or at festivals, prasad, etc.) while the women got what was left. But Srila Prabhupada was always concerned that the women be well protected and taken care of.

* During the Gaura Purnima festival in Vrndavana, Yamuna got sick. Srila Prabhupada had her stay with him until she got better. (Yamuna)

* In 1974, Palika lived in India with Prabhupada, her husband having taken sanyasa. While she was taking care of Prabhupada in his office, Srila Prabhupada noticed that her sari had a hole and said, “I am going to buy a sari, yours is all torn.” As she protested, he continued: “Your husband Bhavananda has now taken sanyasa, therefore I shall give you some money.” (Dinatarine)

* Srila Prabhupada was informed that there was no running water in the women’s living quarters in Bombay for a long time, as the plumbing needed repairs. Srila Prabhupada called in the leaders and said: “You are always talking of big big things and you do not see that these simple things are being taken care of.”

* Srila Prabhupada wanted that for Sankirtana (chanting in the street), women stay in the middle to be protected.

WOMEN’S LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE Srila Prabhupada’s statement and the scripture’s statements about the women being less intelligent has brought a lot of misunderstanding and men’s ruthless behavior towards women. But what does “less intelligent” exactly mean?

* kalau sudra sambhavat: in the age of Kali, everyone is sudra. In the Vedic times, women were considered on the same level as vaisyas and sudras. The brahmanas and kstriyas of those days were so elevated that women were no doubt on an inferior level. But in Kali-yuga, men have degraded to the level of the women, everyone being sudra, and cannot anymore pose themselves as highly superior.

* In Bhagavad-gita (3, 42-43), Krishna says: “The working senses are superior to dull matter, mind is higher than the senses, intelligence is still higher than the mind, and he (soul) is even higher than the intelligence . . . .one should steady the mind by deliberate intelligence.” According to this definition, an intelligent person is one able to control the mind with his intelligence. The mind’s activities are thinking, feeling, willing. Therefore it can be concluded that a woman is less intelligent because she has harder time than a man to control her emotions than for a man. But it does not mean that a woman is totally deprived of most intelligence, as it has unfortunately often been established in the movement. It is not that one goes from the most intelligent man down to the most stupid, and then only comes the most intelligent women down to the most stupid. If we rate men and women’s intelligence on a scale, it is not that man’s intelligence occupies the highest section and women’s the lowest, but the two overlap. Of course, it is certainly true that if one takes the most intelligent men in the world and the most intelligent women, the men might be on a higher level than the women.”

*There are various facets to intelligence – intelligence as controller of the mind, material intelligence, spiritual intelligence – and various definitions. Srila Prabhupada once defined it as “sharp memory and good discrimination.” The following examples illustrate its different meanings:

* Srila Prabhupada said to a lady disciple: “Well, if you think you are a woman that means you are less intelligent, because you are suppose to understand that you are a spirit soul and that your real identity is transcendental to these bodily designations.” (Sadaputa)

* When Srila Prabhupada was asked if Jyotirmayi should finish her studies in ethnology (study of religions and cultures) in order to teach vaisnavism in the universities, he answered, “yes, she is very intelligent girl, she can do it.” (Yogesvara)

* “Another examination will be held sometime in 1971 on the 4 books, Bhagavad-gita, Srimad Bhagavatam, Teachings Of Lord Chaitanya and the Nectar of Devotion. One who will pass this examination will be awarded the title Bhakti-vedanta. I want that all my spiritual sons and daughters will inherit this title of Bhakti-vedanta, so that the family transcendental diploma will continue through the generations. Those possessing the title of Bhakti-vedanta will be allowed to initiate disciples. Maybe by 1975 all my disciples will be allowed to initiate and increase the number of generations. That is my program.” (letter to Hamsadutta, 1968)

* “Regarding your questions about the examination to be given, the girls will also be able to take these. In Krishna Consciousness there is no distinction between girls and boys. The girls also may become preachers if they are able.” (letter to Himavati, 1969)

* “Now I see that in our Society the girls are more intelligent than the boys.” (Letter to Krishna Devi, 1970)

WOMEN AS PREACHERS For many years, women have been forbidden to give classes to all devotees in the temple room, to give Sunday lectures to guests, whereas those were common practices from the beginning of the movement to about 1973-74.

* “Regarding lecturing by women devotees: I have informed you that in the service of the Lord there is no distinction of caste, or creed, color or sex . . . . . . We require a person who is in knowledge of Krishna, that is the only qualification of a person speaking. It does not matter what he is. Materially a woman may be less intelligent than a man, but spiritually everyone is pure soul. In the absolute plane there is no gradation of higher and lower. If a woman can lecture nicely and to the point, we should hear her carefully. That is our philosophy. But if a man can speak better than a woman, the man should be given the first preference . . . ” (letter to Jaya Govinda, 1968)

* “Jadurani has now become a nice preacher, I have report from Satsvarupa that she gives lectures very nicely. If we open a pavilion, I shall take Jadurani also at that time so she will deliver nice lectures.” (letter to Mahapurusa, 1968.)

* “So far as girls or boys lecturing in the morning, that does not make any difference. Either girl or boy devotee may deliver lecture if they choose to do. We have no such distinction of bodily designations, male or female. Krishna Consciousness is on the spiritual platform. As such, anyone who is a devotee of the Lord, following in this line of disciplic succession, can deliver lecture on the teachings of Bhagavad-gita, Srimad Bhagavatam, etc.” (letter to Syama Dasi, 1968)

* Srila Prabhupada had Himavati give public lectures in front of crowds of people in India.

* From 1973-74, when stopping women from giving classes began to spread from temple to temple, country to country, different women went to Prabhupada for help.

* “You can also keep giving Bhagavatam class if you like. Women in our movement can also preach very nicely. Actually male and female bodies, these are just outward designations; Lord Chaitanya said that whether one is brahmana or whatever he may be, if he knows the science of Krishna, then he is to be accepted as guru.” (letter to Malati, 1974)

*Excerpt of a conversation about varnashrama dharma between Srila Prabhupada, Yogesvara and Jyotirmayi, 1974, France. SP: Woman is to help her husband. JM: So the duty of the brahmana is to preach. It is to learn the philosophy. SP: Yes, to learn and to preach. JM: And to teach the philosophy. So in our movement, the women have always preached philosophy, given classes, given lectures. SP: Oh yes, oh yes. With the husband. She is always helping hand to hand the husband . . . . Assistant. JM: Does that mean that the girls should not give lectures and not give classes? SP: Why not? If she is a brahmana’s wife, she can give lecture. JM: Jadurani, for example, now she is no longer with her husband anymore., but she is giving classes, she is giving lectures. So is that good? SP: Yes, yes. Why not? This varnashrama dharma, woman is according to the husband. That’s all. Jadurani is suppose to be a brahmana’s wife, her husband has taken sanyasa, so she can preach. JM: So women can preach. They can give classes. They can give lectures. SP: Oh yes.

* After receiving the confirmation from Srila Prabhupada, Jyotirmayi went on giving classes in France. But the pressure from the American men became stronger and stronger (such as telling the brahmacaris not to attend the classes), and Jyotirmayi wrote to Prabhupada for his renewed support. At that time, Srila Prabhupada did not write his letters himself anymore but dictated his answers to his secretary. As it happened that both Jyotirmayi and Bhagavan had written to Prabhupada at that time, each for a particular question, Srila Prabhupada had his secretary Brahmananda answer them both a common letter. The letter that Srila Prabhupada sent was confirming her right to give classes in the temple. (Jyotirmayi)

HOUSEHOLDER LIFE AND SANNYASA As women were being demeaned, householder men and householder life were also heavily put down, to the point that householders were in great numbers trying to convince Prabhupada to give them sanyasa.

* “Regarding your separation from Nandarani, nothing should be done artificially. Nandarani is no different from you. She also seeks Krishna Consciousness. Your household life is not repugnant. It is favorable. Do not separate artificially. When everyone is engaged in Krishna’s service, there is no question of maya. I have got good estimation about Nandarani.” (letter to Dayananda)

* “If you have taken a wife for grhastha life, why are you neglecting? That is not vaishnava. Vaishnava means he is very much responsible, and if he is householder, then he must be responsible. I cannot give sanyasa to any devotee who has not proven himself to be responsible in all respects. Better you prove yourself first by being ideal householder and forget all this nonsense.” (letter to Mahatma, 1972)

* This taking sanyasa should not be a whimsical proposition, and should not be an excuse for becoming irresponsible, have no responsibility as grhastha, brahmacari, etc.” (letter to Danavir, 1973)

* “We are suppose to take husband or wife as eternal companion or assistant in Krishna Conscious service, and there is promise never to separate. Of course if there is any instance of very advanced disciples, married couple, and they have agreed that the husband shall now take sanyasa or renounced order of life, being mutually very happy by that arrangement, then there is ground for such separation. But even in those cases there is no question of separation, the husband, even he is sanyasa, he must be certain his wife will be taken care of nicely and protected in his absence. Now so many cases are there of unhappiness by the wife who has been abandoned by her husband against her wishes. So how can I sanction such thing? . . . .But if it becomes so easy for me to get married and then leave my wife, under excuse of married life being an impediment to my own spiritual progress, that will not be very good at all. That is misunderstanding of what is advancement in spiritual life.” (letter to Madhukara, 1975)

CONCLUSION If I usually write “many men” and not just “men,” it is that a certain number of them, especially amongst householders, objected against the way women were being treated. But their effort to protect the women was always quickly stopped as they ended up being ridiculed by their godbrothers calling them “henpecked husbands.”

The arguments presented here, as well as the anecdotes and letters referred to, are certainly already known to and approved by most of the devotees who have sincerely and objectively tried to understand the matter of women in ISKCON. I have only tried to compile as many of them as possible in a structured way to inform those who never thought over the matter, and those who are reluctant to do the necessary changes, being adverse or insufficiently convinced.

Many of the wrongs done to women for so many years have now been corrected and ISKCON women have recovered some of their rights. Unfortunately, they have been rehabilitated only to higher of lesser degrees according to the different leaders, in different places. Much is still to be done for men to recognize fully women’s dignity, and for women to assume again that dignity everywhere. Hare Krishna.

PROPOSAL FOR RE-ESTABLISHING ISKCON WOMEN IN THEIR SPIRITUAL RIGHTS 1) Many of the rights taken away from women have been given back to them since a number of years now, to a different degree in various temples. Again, they are allowed to write articles, perform Deity worship, give classes in the temple, take on various posts of responsibilities previously forbidden to women. (Gurukula headmistress, head pujari, photographer, member of temple administration or national council, etc.). Respect and proper behavior towards women has also come back within ISKCON to a certain extent. Harikesa Swami for example had a memo written to protect women from improper behavior on the part of the men and leaders. Here are some excerpts:

* Whenever prasadam is served, it must be served simultaneously to both the men and women . . . This is especially true at festivals. Sufficient sized rooms should be allotted to the men and women for taking prasadam. The women should not be made to wait till after the men eat.

* It is a mental concoction to strictly call men “Prabhu” and women “Mataji” . . . However, calling the ladies “Mataji” is a sign of respect since everyone should respect their mother. It is a very respectful term and should be used in that way. If one uses the term “Mata” in a derogatory sense, then he is using it wrongly. Neither does calling someone “Prabhu” imply automatically that they are superior to a lady. Someone shall be known as higher or lower according to their spiritual status, not according to their gender or social opinion.

* The women should be given equal facilities in the temple. It is not that the men are given a lot of room to live in but the women must be cramped up in their quarters. Both should have proper place to live and both should get equal medical facilities and health care when sick. This principle of equality should be extrapolated into all areas of temple life. All practical considerations should be examined in this light and where there is discrimination, it should be abolished.

* If a women is a temple president, temple commander, Sankirtana leader or department head, she should be respected by the other devotees, either male or female. Anyone who is a leader in ISKCON has the authority of ISKCON behind them and should be respected. We should not tolerate that some male member of ISKCON will disrespect some female temple president simply because she is female. There must be respect of this position.

* No guru, sanyasi or preacher may speak in a derogatory way about women in classes or in discussions amongst men. They must maintain this spirit of respect between men and women. This does not mean, however, that we should not repeat the message of the shastras or what we have heard from Srila Prabhupada regarding the dangers of association between men and women. Rather, this means that there should be no statements wherein the devotee women are seen as lower than the devotee men, and therefore treated improperly . . . (Memo to the National Council of Germany, from Harikesha Swami, GBC, January 1994)

2) There are very positive improvements but still more has to be done. And these improvements should not be limited to only some temples or some zones, but to the whole movement. To attain this goal, the re-establishment should be one of the prime objectives of the GBC board as it concerns (children included) half of the population of ISKCON.

In addition to what has been instituted by Harikesha Swami, in his zone, here is a list of further situations to be corrected in our movement to bring back Srila Prabhupada’s original ISKCON.

* Men and women should again both face the Deities, each on one side of the temple room during kirtans.

* Men and women should both again face the speaker of the Bhagavatam or Bhagavad-gita class, each on one side of the temple room.

* During festivals, both men and women should face the stage, each on one side.

* During special celebrations, both men and women should be invited to sing and talk on stage, both on one side.

* During guru-puja and Vyasa-puja, women should be again allowed to offer obeisances in front of the vyasasana and not anymore obliged to offer them in the back of the temple.

* While offering flowers to Srila Prabhupada during guru-puja, there should be as in the past two lines, one of men, one of women, presenting simultaneously the petals. Out of the two lines, one man goes, then a woman, and so on.

* The same should be done for offering ghee lamps during the month of Damodara.

* Japa should again be chanted by both men and women in the temple room, sitting down in front of the Deities, men and women each on their side.

* During public preaching programs, men should be on side, women on the other side.

* While chanting in the streets, both men and women in turn should give a short speech.

* During Tulasi worship in the temple room, there should be as in the past only one Tulasi for everyone, both men and women devotees.

* New devotee men should be taught to avoid intimate associate with women (except of course their own wife), but they should not be taught to hate and humiliate women devotee.

* As much as men should be taught to respect women as mothers, women should be taught to respect women as mothers, women should be taught to see the men as sons.

* Women should be taught to respect each other and not feel contempt for each other.

* During festivals, while bathing the Deities, pushing Their swing or reading an offering to Srila Prabhupada, first all the senior men and women should go, then younger men and women; not all the men, then all the women.

* As much as both men and women are taught how to distribute books on Sankirtan, both men and women should equally be taught how to give classes and public lectures.

* Women able to kirtans and bhajans with real devotion and art should be allowed to do so.

* Women should be allowed as before to perform mangala-arati as well as 7 o’clock arati.

I surely have not covered everything in this list but at least a good part of the problems women have had to face since about 1973, when Srila Prabhupada could not anymore oversee personally ISKCON’s management.

3) Because of bad habits acquired for so many years, what was so natural and simple for devotees at the beginning with Srila Prabhupada will be very difficult to institute again now. Most devotees having not known anything else since the time they joined, will not want to change their ways, thinking that doing so will be maya. And this attitude will come from women as much as from men. Changing back to the way it was will also be accepted more easily by leaders, by old and advanced devotees than by the mass of devotees. Some will oppose strongly, some will be enthusiastic and some won’t dare. It will therefore be necessary for the leaders to free the minds of the devotees all over again, in a very practical way.

* Temple presidents should have regular ista-ghosthi’s where all there points will be thoroughly discussed until all objections will be defeated, everything clarified and understood, and finally the mentalities changed.

Example 1: It will be objected that some temple rooms are too narrow for men and women to be side by side. Some of our temples in the past were also small and narrow, still there was no problem, just a small space was left between the two lines of men and women, but no one ever sat or stood in the reserved space.

Example 2: Some women will object that they cannot be shy if they come up front. Women in the past were never considered immodest by Prabhupada because of standing in front of the Deities and meditating on Them. So, if Prabhupada did feel that way, so they think they know better than Prabhupada how a woman should behave in Krishna Consciousness?

* Temple presidents, GBC’s and heads of departments should see day to day to the application of the reformation of the women’s condition.

Example: Stop the men from pushing the women back to the end of the temple room by progressively dancing more and more to their side and on the space left between them and the altar.

Example: Not give in to the blackmailing of some men such as: “If a woman gives class, I won’t attend.”

*Experienced lecturers should teach the women how to give class and prepare it: proper state of mind, adequate reason for giving class, how to develop erudition, how to capture the attention of the audience, etc. As they never got the chance to practice progressively as the men did, they can start with easier classes such as Chaitanya-Charitamrta classes or readings of Prabhupada Lilamrta (where there is a lot of reading with just a few comments). Once they feel more at ease, they will begin Bhagavad-gita classes, then Bhagavatam classes when they feel ready. Often, there are no weekly lists of who gives classes, who offers guru-puja arati. Just anyone who feels like it goes up. Women won’t dare to just go up like that. There should therefore be weekly lists so they may know when it is their turn, especially for classes. Women will not give a spontaneous class as they have no practice. It is better anyway for most devotees to prepare their classes to really teach philosophy to their audience.

* Women are so used to sitting passively back in class, that they have often lost proper behavior. They often go in and out, lean against the wall, sew or do other things rather than really listen and participate actively, let their children move about noisily. They must be taught again adequate behavior in class, respect of the speaker and the listeners. Those who just listen, have no children or services should sit in the front. Those with children or service should sit in the back of the other women. Being side by side with men, the young children will more easily disturb the men, they should therefore be better controlled by their mothers. Srila Prabhupada always wanted the children to behave properly in the temple room. (*6)

4) Recovering Srila Prabhupada’s sprit, as far as devotee women are concerned is of the utmost importance for our movement even though many may not be conscious of it.

* To advance spiritually women need examples, just as men have sannyasis, GBC men, gurus, temple leaders, if older women are allowed to express their realizations and knowledge through classes, their devotion through kirtans and taking great responsibilities for their spiritual master, younger women will see them as examples to follow and will advance more and more.

* When on the opposite, they are trained to see all women as unadvanced, unintelligent, incapable, etc., having no female example to admire and follow, being unable to imitate men as their services and association are forbidden to them, they often despise other women and become sexually attracted to advanced men devotees, either grossly or subtly. That is how the phenomenon of “groupies” takes place, and how men leaders fall down.

* Immature men think that despising women and putting them down, “keeping them in their place,” proves their own worth. In reality, in societies where men are truly confident of their own worth, women are not merely tolerated, they are valued. Their opinions are listened to with respect, they are given their rightful place in shaping the society in which they live.

* Not only the prejudicial, hurtful behavior towards women has stopped many men and women from joining our movement, but it has made us fail to attract, or loose, the interest and support of educated thoughtful seekers of spiritual truth.

* Whatever progress the movement has made since Prabhupada’s arrival is been due at least as much to the efforts of women as of men assisting him. But the women having since 1973 being kept away from almost all decision making and superior responsibilities, the problems and chaotic situations which have befallen ISKCON since cannot be attributed to them, but to the men only. Maybe listening to what the older advanced women had to say would have helped to avoid many blunders.

* Some of the valid positions we have on controversial issues, such as abortion, divorce, sex, birth control, women, children, loose a lot of their impact and are much less convincing in large measure because of their being presented by men instead of women to whom these issues main belong.

* Srila Prabhupada built the movement on the foundation of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s unique contribution. No one is to be excluded from the Sankirtana movement, regardless of gender, race, religion, age, social status or any material distinction. He made the necessary adjustment of womanhood to modern western situations as he saw that following the traditional Vedic definition would be completely anachronistic and impede our movement. By not following in his footsteps and trying to overstep his decisions we bring a universal spirituality to the level of a sect, with no contribution to make to the vital issues of our time.

* As we celebrate Srila Prabhupada’s Centennial, the world prepares to celebrate the new millennium. Those who wish to see Prabhupada truly honored this year will acknowledge the universality of his message and its relevance to a world in transition, a world in which the role and contribution of women will continue to increase in size and scope. Hare Krishna.

On the 17th of September 2003, the Sastric Advisory Council (SAC) received a request from the Executive Committee (EC) of the GBC requesting it to research the philosophical topic of possible future female diksa-gurus in ISKCON:

“We are aware that the possibility of devotees wanting ladies to become gurus in ISKCON is there, but so far no one has addressed the matter of how correct or appropriate it may be in terms of Srila Prabhupada’s statements, sastra, the statements of previous acaryas, or historical considerations. Now that Urmila’s name has been proposed as a guru within ISKCON it has brought the subject to the forefront, and the EC feels there is a need for research to be done for a clear understanding. We would like SAC to research this and give us a report. We will conduct a separate discussion about the cultural impact of this decision. All we request from you is a philosophical understanding.”

In regards to the processing of Urmila Devi’s particular case in ISKCON one member of the EC wrote, “As far as I understand it is the regular process. We haven’t changed GBC law. But she has already received three objections, which means that her nomination goes before the entire GBC body in Mayapur for discussion. So the GBC body wants to be prepared sastrically to discuss this issue, draw a conclusion and make an informed vote on it. Also, we want devotees in general to understand that the decision of the GBC was made in knowledge of Vaisnava history and siddhanta.”

SAC members felt that the circumstances of the task were valid, and the topic interesting, and so accepted the task. Urmila Devi, however, being a SAC member involved in this case before the GBC, excused herself from the discussion and writing of this paper.

Furthermore, in order to ensure that all sides of the topic were properly represented, SAC accepted a temporary member representing Vaishnavas raised in Bharata where one might question the propriety of female devotees as gurus due to cultural background.

SAC members decided to proceed by trying to gather evidence in the following categories:

We also decided to broaden our view and assist the GBC in their discussions on cultural impact by conducting a limited survey of leaders of Gaudiya and other Vaishnavasampradayas; that will be presented separately. We began our discussions on the 8th of May 2004. The results are found below.

1) Hari-bhakti-vilasa (11.708) quotes from the Visnu Purana (3.12.30) (regarding how a grhastha should work in this world):

yosito navamanyeta

na casam visvased budhah

na caiversur bhavet tasu

nadhikuryat kadacana

“A wise man should never insult women, nor should he trust them. He should never become jealous of women, nor should he ever appoint them.”

Srila Sanatana Gosvami comments: nadhikuryat adhikaram na kuryat. yad va stribhyo ’dhikaramna dadhyat ity arthah.“Nadhikuryat” means one should not appoint women or that one should not give authority to women.

This is a general statement. It states that women should not be given positions of authority. Of course, this authority could mean only administrative positions like kings or other heads of state. After all, being a mother is also a role of authority.

2) “As for behavior, there are many rules and regulations guiding human behavior, such as the Manu-samhita, which is the law of the human race. Even up to today, those who are Hindu follow the Manu-samhita. Laws of inheritance and other legalities are derived from this book. Now, in the Manu-samhita it is clearly stated that a woman should not be given freedom. That does not mean that women are to be kept as slaves, but they are like children. Children are not given freedom, but that does not mean that they are kept as slaves. The demons have now neglected such injunctions, and they think that women should be given as much freedom as men. However, this has not improved the social condition of the world. Actually, a woman should be given protection at every stage of life. She should be given protection by the father in her younger days, by the husband in her youth, and by the grownup sons in her old age. This is proper social behavior according to the Manu-samhita. But modern education has artificially devised a puffed-up concept of womanly life, and therefore marriage is practically now an imagination in human society. Nor is the moral condition of woman very good now.” (Bg 16.7 purport)

One will find many such restrictive statements about women made by Srila Prabhupada. These are in regard to eternal varnasrama principles given by Manu. Therefore they also apply to today’s world. If female devotees are to follow their Godbrothers in accepting the role of guru in ISKCON at all, such a decision will surely not be based upon the equal- rights doctrine found in modern Western civilization.

3) “In the Manu-smrti it is stated that a woman should not be given independence, but should be given protection by her father, husband and elderly sons. In allcircumstances a woman should remain dependent upon some guardian. Presently women are given full independence like men, but actually we can see that such independent women are no happier than those women who are placed under guardians. If people follow the injunctions given by the great sages, srutis and smrtis, they can actually be happy in both this life and the next. Unfortunately rascals are manufacturing so many ways and means to be happy. Everyone is inventing so many methods. Consequently human society has lost the standard ways of life, both materially and spiritually, and as a result people are bewildered, and there is no peace or happiness in the world. Although they are trying to solve the problems of human society in the United Nations, they are still baffled. Because they do not follow the liberated instructions of the Vedas, they are unhappy.” (Bhag. 4.18.3 purport)

One may refer to such statements in connection to our theme. Srila Prabhupada, however, is not directly speaking about female diksa-gurus. Then again, these kinds of statements may be followed, and thus reconciled, by supportive facilities in the form of relative prerequisites in deciding female diksa-guru eligibility. Samples of such conditions are presented at the end of this paper as only humble suggestions.

4) “Abala, another name of the woman. Just like if somebody attacks woman… Any young man, when he has got sixteen years old, he can attack any woman. But a woman, even though she is sixteen years or eighteen years or twenty years, she becomes immediately victim. So abaleva. Even the woman is higher in age, still, she cannot protect. Therefore woman requires protection. Woman requires protection.According to Vedic culture, woman has no independence, because they cannot keep their independence. It is not possible. A sixteen-year-old boy can go safely all over the world, but a sixteen-year girl cannot. That is not possible.”

If female devotees are to assume the role of spiritual master, then that role would be executed differently than a sannyasi because women require protection. Srila Prabhupada continues:

“By nature, they are weak. So they require protection. And until she reaches youth-hood, she is protected by the father. As soon as she reaches youthhood, she is given to a young man, her husband, to give protection. And in old age, she is protected by the elderly sons. This is the Vedic culture. They have three phases of life: childhood, youth-hood, and old age. Because they are weak. In the Western countries, the women are given freedom like man, but that is unnatural. Unnatural. Therefore these poor souls are being exploited by the other section. It is a great deficiency of the Western sociology. But the Vedic culture is different from this. Woman is not given independence.” (Bhag. 1.15.20 lecture 30 November 1973, LA)

If women accept the role of spiritual master they should not consider that they will be socially independent.

5) “Actually, Dhruva Maharaja’s mother, Suniti, was his patha-pradarsaka-guru. Patha-pradarsaka-guru means “the guru, or the spiritual master, who shows the way.” Such a guru is sometimes called siksa-guru. Although Narada Muni was his diksa-guru (initiating spiritual master), Suniti, his mother, was the first who gave him instruction on how to achieve the favor of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. It is the duty of the siksa-guru or diksa-guru to instruct the disciple in the right way, and it depends on the disciple to execute the process. According to sastric injunctions, there is no difference between siksa-guru and diksa-guru, and generally the siksa-guru later on becomes the diksa-guru.Suniti, however, being a woman, and specifically his mother, could not become Dhruva Maharaja’s diksa-guru.” (Bhag. 4.12.32 purport)

This is the strongest statement against the possibility of female diksa-gurus. However, in itself, this statement is not conclusive, as we will see when we examine the positive evidence. The previous chapter of Srimad-Bhagavatam (4.11) presents the conversation of Svayambhuva Manu with Dhruva. This pastime of Dhruva was enacted during Svayambhuva Manu’s reign (Laghu-bhagavatamrta 3.54).

“One should not test a mantra attained in a dream, a mantra given by a woman, a mala-mantra [mantra over 20 syllables] or mantras of one or three syllables for siddhaand so on.” [Note: This is in connection with a discussion on how to test the effect of mantras by various means. The author writes about mantras not needing testing, later stating that krsna-mantras are exempt from testing.]

This verse points to the fact that, in the past, women sometimes gave mantras. One could then assume that women, on occasion, had acted as diksa-gurus.

2) “I want that all of my spiritual sons and daughters will inherit this title of Bhaktivedanta, so that the family transcendental diploma will continue through the generations. Those possessing the title of Bhaktivedanta will be allowed to initiate disciples. Maybe by 1975, all of my disciples will be allowed to initiate and increase the numbers of the generations. That is my program.” (Letter to Hamsaduta—Los Angeles 3 December, 1968)

Srila Prabhupada’s statement is general, but it does include female disciples. And it is spoken in reference to ISKCON.

3) “Therefore, we have begun Bhagavad-gita As It Is. Don’t try to become over spiritual master. Then you’ll spoil. Remain always a servant of your spiritual master and present the thing as you have heard. You’ll be spiritual master. This is secret. You should know it. Don’t try to become over-intelligent. That will spoil. Evam parampara- praptam imam rajarsayo viduh [Bg. 4.2]. So Caitanya Mahaprabhu says, amara ajnaya guru hana tara ei desa…yare dekha, tare kaha, ‘krsna’-upadesa [Cc. Madhya 7.128] Just see. It is very nice. You’ll find in Caitanya-caritamrta, now it is published. Caitanya Mahaprabhu says—He is the Supreme Lord, Krsna—He says, amara ajnaya.‘Whatever I say, amara ajnaya, by My order, you become a spiritual master.’ Caitanya Mahaprabhu. So one may be very illiterate, no education, or no scholarship, may not be born in brahmana family, or may not be a sannyasi. There are so many qualification. But one may not have all these qualifications. He may be rascal number one, but still, he can become spiritual master. How? Amara ajnaya. As Krsna says, as Caitanya Mahaprabhu says, if you follow, then you become spiritual master. One may be rascal number one from material estimation, but if he simply strictly follows whatever is said by Caitanya Mahaprabhu or His representative spiritual master, then he becomes a guru.

“So it is not very difficult. One may not think that ‘I am not qualified to become guru.’ No, you are qualified if you follow strictly the parampara system. Then you are qualified. That’s all. Amara ajnaya guru hana… And what is the difficulty? Caitanya Mahaprabhu says, ‘Don’t feel any difficulty.’ Because as spiritual master, what you have to do? Yare dekha, tare kaha, ‘krsna’-upadesa [Cc. Madhya 7.128]. Whomever you meet, you simply speak to him the instruction which Krsna gives. What Krsna instruction gives? That is also very easy. What is that? Krsna says man-mana bhava mad-bhakto mad-yaji mam namaskuru [Bg. 18.65]. Krsna says ‘Just become My devotee, always think of Me, offer Me obeisances, and worship Me.’ So here is Krsna. If you simply think ‘Here is Krsna, Radha-Krsna Deity,’ you may be fool number, rascal number one. That doesn’t matter. But you are getting impression of this Radha-Krsna, think of Him: ‘Oh, how nicely Krsna is decorated.’ This much. No erudite scholarship. Simply. Krsna says, man-mana bhava mad-bhakto. Here is Deity. Worship Him nicely as it is regulated principle. Even you are not worshiping, simply think of Krsna, ‘Here is Radha-Krsna.’ Impression. What is the difficulty? As soon as you see Radha-Krsna, you get some impression. Think of that impression. Where is the difficulty? Man-mana bhava mad-bhakto. ‘Worship me.’ If you have got opportunity, worship. If you are initiated, worship here. Or you install Deity at home… Practical.Man-mana bhava mad-bhakto mad-yaji mam namaskuru [Bg. 18.65]. And if you cannot do anything, simply come and offer your obeisances: ‘My dear Lord Krsna, I am so poor, so unfortunate, I cannot do all these things, but I offer my humble obeisances unto Your lotus feet.’ That much also. If you do this, you become spiritual master.

“So, simply by accepting this principle, and even if you are not learned, illiterate, you are hearing so much from Bhagavad-gita, you simply repeat that. Simply repeat that. There is no question of becoming very learned scholar. God has given you this ear. Even if you are blind, you cannot read, you can hear. So krsna-upadesa, what is Krsna…? This is krsna-upadesa. And at last, Krsna says, sarva-dharman parityajya mam ekam saranam vraja [Bg. 18.66]. So if you simply preach this cult, ‘My dear friend, my dear brother, you surrender to Krsna,’ you become spiritual master. You become spiritual master.…

“Immediately, touch his feet. Immediately, even if he’s enemy, he’ll be a friend. Even if he’s your enemy, it is so nice process. Take a grass on your mouth and immediately fall on his feet, padayor nipetya, and with folded hands, much flattering… All flattering words. Aham bravimi. So immediately he will agree, ‘Yes, what you say I’ll hear. I’ll hear.’ Immediately, convert to hear you at least. Just see how perfect process is. ‘Then what is your purpose, sir? Why you are becoming so humble, meek? “And now say.” ‘Yes sir, I’ll say.’ What is that? He sadhavah, ‘You are a great sadhu.’ Although he may be rascal number one. Still, you call him, he sadhavah. ‘Yes, I amsadhu, yes. What is your proposal?’ ‘Now kindly forget all nonsense, whatever you have learned. That’s all. I am flattering you because I want that you forget everything, all these yogis and this and that and that and meditation. Please kick out all these.’ ‘Then what I have to do?’ Caitanya-candra-carane kurutanuragam. Just adhere yourself to the lotus feet of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Then you become spiritual master. That’s all.”

“So I hope that all of you, men, women, boys and girls, become spiritual master, and follow this principle. Spiritual master, simply, sincerely, follow the principles and speak to the general public. Then Krsna immediately becomes your favorite. Krsna does not become your favorite; you become Krsna’s favorite. Krsna says in theBhagavad-gita,na ca tasmad manusyesu kascin me priya-krttamah: ‘One who is doing this humble service of preaching work, Krsna consciousness, nobody is dearer than him to Me.’ So if you want to become recognized by Krsna very quickly, you take up this process of becoming spiritual master, present the Bhagavad-gita as it is. Your life is perfect. Thank you very much.”

(Vyasa-puja Lecture—London, August 22, 1973)

It is somewhat significant that this is a Vyasa-puja lecture in which the principle of disciplic succession is naturally being addressed by Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada specifically says, “…all of you, men, women, boys and girls, become spiritual master.”

4) Woman: Svamiji, would you say something about the place of women in your movement?

Prabhupada: There is no distinction between man and woman. That is clearly said in the Bhagavad-gita.Mam hi partha vyapasritya ye ’pi syuh papa-yonayah / striyo sudras tatha vaisyah. The first is mentioned, striyah. Striyah sudras tatha vaisyah. These classes are understood to be less intelligent—woman, sudra, and the vaisyas.But Krsna says, “No, even for them it is open.” Because in the spiritual platform there is no such distinction, man, woman, or black, white, or big or small. No. Everyone is spirit soul. Panditah sama-darsinah [Bg. 5.18]. Vidya-vinaya-sampanne brahmane gavi hastini suni caiva sva-pake ca panditah [Bg. 5.18], one who is actually learned, he is sama-darsinah. He does not make any distinction. But so far our material body is concerned, there must be some distinction for keeping the society in order.

Woman: The women could become panditas, then.

Prabhupada: Oh, yes. Te ’pi yanti param gatim. Not only come, she can also attain perfection. There is no such restriction. Krsna said.

Woman: Do you have any panditas in the Western movement?

Prabhupada: There are so many Western woman, girls, in our society. They are chanting, dancing, taking to Krsna consciousness. Of course, because superficially, bodily, there is some distinction, so we keep women separately from men, that’s all. Otherwise, the rights are the same.

Prof. O’Connell: Is it possible, Svamiji, for a woman to be a guru in the line of disciplic succession?

Prabhupada: Yes. Jahnava Devi was—Nityananda’s wife. She became. If she is able to go to the highest perfection of life, why it is not possible to become guru? But, not so many. Actually one who has attained the perfection, she can become guru. But man or woman, unless one has attained the perfection…. Yei krsna-tattva-vetta sei guru haya [Cc. Madhya 8.128]. The qualification of guru is that he must be fully cognizant of the science of Krsna. Then he or she can become guru.Yei krsna-tattva-vetta, sei guru haya.[break] In our material world, is it any prohibition that woman cannot become professor? If she is qualified, she can become professor. What is the wrong there? She must be qualified. That is the position. So similarly, if the woman understands Krsna consciousness perfectly, she can become guru.

Indian man: Well, to understand Krsna consciousness, do you not require adhikara?

Prabhupada:Adhikara means he must agree to understand. That is adhikara. But we do not agree. That is our fault. (Interview with Professors O’Connell, Motilal and Shivaram—June 18, 1976, Toronto)

Srila Prabhupada directly addresses the issue of a woman’s qualification to be guru, and he says that if she meets the standard qualification mentioned in the sastra, then she is qualified. Prabhupada specifically says that “he or she” can become guru if they meet the standard qualification. There is no mention of any special qualification for women. There is mention, however, that although men and women are equal according to spiritual identity, women may not be allowed to associate with men in the temple. Although as spirit souls they may be qualified, still, because of the bodily difference, there is some separation.

He adds, “not so many.” That could be because of two reasons: (1) the qualification for men and women is the same [which is clearly stated], but not so many women as men can attain that qualification, or (2) women and men can both attain the qualification in fairly even numbers, but there are other factors that cause women to becomegurus in lesser numbers. Either way, there is no higher level of qualification required for women as compared to men.

Someone may argue that here Srila Prabhupada is conversing with secular scholars and is thus speaking somewhat diplomatically to pacify them. But that was not his habit. He spoke the truth to whomever he met—scholars, scientists or reporters. In terms of women’s issues particularly, he was very direct and had no fear of public opinion, as can be seen in his many conversations. It should also be mentioned that two Indian professors were present during this conversation. Therefore it could be concluded that Srila Prabhupada was not considering a different approach among Indians.

Finally, in this conversation, Prabhupada also provides a sastric reference and employs systematic reasoning with a logical analogy to support his statement. Therefore this statement should be accepted as significant evidence.

Atreya Rsi: Do you have references about that in any of your books, Srila Prabhupada?

Prabhupada: I don’t think. But there are many acaryas. Maybe somewhere I might have mentioned. It is not that woman cannot be acarya. Generally, they do not become. In very special case. But Jahnava Devi was accepted as, but she did not declare.

Women can be acaryas, but it is rare—only in special cases. One meaning of this statement could be that not many women have been qualified to become an acarya.Another may be that even though many women were qualified, still very few have assumed the service of initiating disciples for other reasons, e.g. social reasons. In context, the comment, “But there are many acaryas” indicates that there were many female gurus. The conversation continues.

Atreya Rsi: Women today…, there is a very popular topic amongst women. They speak of liberation. And their desire to be liberated is sane, but they do not understand. And they object very strongly… I’ve spoken to some of these so-called liberated women, and they object strongly to Krsna consciousness, because they think we discriminate against women. So I have been taking advantage of opportunities to describe to them that the only means to liberation for men and woman is through Krsna consciousness.

Prabhupada: Krsna does not make any discrimination. Krsna does not make. Whatever difference is there, it is bodily difference. But as soul, there is equality. So whatever difference we make, that is bodily difference. So when one is above the bodily concept of life, there is no difference. Why woman? Even cats and dogs. Woman is human being. Even cats and dogs, they have got the same spirit soul. So a learned scholar will see from the spiritual platform. Then there is equality. (Room Conversation: 29 June 1972 San Diego)

Equality is based on the soul being equal. That is the spiritual platform. Here Prabhupada repeats the idea that there is no difference between genders or even between different species when one is above the bodily concept.

“Whether one is a brahmana, a sannyasi or a sudra—regardless of what he is—he can become a spiritual master if he knows the science of Krsna.” [Caitanya-caritamrtaMadhya 8.128]

PURPORT

“This verse is very important to the Krsna consciousness movement. In his Amrta-pravaha-bhasya, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura explains that one should not think that because Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was born a brahmana and was situated in the topmost spiritual order as a sannyasi, it was improper for Him to receive instructions from Srila Ramananda Raya, who belonged to the sudra caste. To clarify this matter, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu informed Ramananda Raya that knowledge of Krsna consciousness is more important than caste. In the system of varnasrama-dharma there are various duties for the brahmanas, ksatriyas, vaisyas and sudras. Actually thebrahmana is supposed to be the spiritual master of all other varnas, or classes, but as far as Krsna consciousness is concerned, everyone is capable of becoming a spiritual master because knowledge in Krsna consciousness is on the platform of the spirit soul. To spread Krsna consciousness, one need only be cognizant of the science of the spirit soul. It does not matter whether one is a brahmana, ksatriya, vaisya, sudra, sannyasi, grhastha or whatever. If one simply understands this science, he can become a spiritual master.

“It is stated in the Hari-bhakti-vilasa that one should not accept initiation from a person who is not in the brahminical order if there is a fit person in the brahminical order present. This instruction is meant for those who are overly dependent on the mundane social order and is suitable for those who want to remain in mundane life.

If one understands the truth of Krsna consciousness and seriously desires to attain transcendental knowledge for the perfection of life, he can accept a spiritual master from any social status, provided the spiritual master is fully conversant with the science of Krsna. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura also states that although one is situated as a brahmana, ksatriya, vaisya, sudra, brahmacari, vanaprastha, grhastha or sannyasi, if he is conversant in the science of Krsna he can become a spiritual master as vartma-pradarsaka-guru, diksa-guru or siksa-guru. The spiritual master who first gives information about spiritual life is called the vartma-pradarsaka-guru, the spiritual master who initiates according to the regulations of the sastras is called the diksa-guru, and the spiritual master who gives instructions for elevation is called the siksa-guru.Factually the qualifications of a spiritual master depend on his knowledge of the science of Krsna. It does not matter whether he is a brahmana, ksatriya, sannyasi or Sudra.

“If one becomes a guru, he is automatically a brahmana. Sometimes a caste guru says that ye krsna-tattva-vetta, sei guru haya means that one who is not a brahmanamay become a siksa-guru or a vartma-pradarsaka-guru but not an initiator guru. According to such caste gurus, birth and family ties are considered foremost. However, the hereditary consideration is not acceptable to Vaisnavas. The word guru is equally applicable to the vartma-pradarsaka-guru, siksa-guru and diksa-guru. Unless we accept the principle enunciated by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, this Krsna consciousness movement cannot spread all over the world.” [Caitanya-caritamrtaMadhya 8.128 verse & purport]

This is only one of many places wherein Srila Prabhupada presents the proper vision of our philosophy on the topic of eligibility to become a Vaisnava guru: there cannot be placed any material prohibition on the post of guru—it is transcendental being based on one’s devotion. In his purport he focuses on varnasrama considerations, but he quoted this verse in his conversation with Prof. O’Connell, indicating that gender is also a consideration to be discarded in judging a guru’s eligibility.

Srila Prabhupada also explains that there are instructions in Vaisnava literature for those who are overly dependent on mundane social order. But there are higher level instructions for those with a deeper understanding: “…he can accept a spiritual master from any social status, provided the spiritual master is fully conversant with the science of Krsna.” He specifically states that this principle applies to all gurus including diksa-gurus.

7) Devotee: Can women become guru?

B.R. Sridhara Maharaja: Yes, if he [sic] sincerely feels that he can help others, he may be. There are so many. Jahnava Devi, wife of Nityananda Prabhu, she began extensively this spiritual movement. And there are many others.

Devotee: Must you be in the renounced order of life?

B.R. Sridhara Maharaja: Of course somewhat, a grhastha, then grhastha she may initiate grhasthas. But generally it is not found that the ladies take the robe of renunciation. That is red cloth or something. But they may have (the) respect even of the sannyasis, but they remain as grhasthas and may continue grhastha-sisya. (1981 Conversation with Sripada BR Sridhara Maharaja)

And on another occasion…

B.R. Sridhara Maharaja: But whether the lady acarya should be appointed or not, that may come in future. Whether a lady devotee for the facility to propagate amongst the ladies, whether such qualified lady acarya should be accepted or not, that may be a question of controversy. But I think that, for the sincere thinking person, wherever there is Krsna consciousness, there is purity. And wherever the sincere urge for propagation, the sanction must be there. That should be the fair field. Here also previously Jahnava Devi and others, Thakurani, they did that sort of function of the acarya.

Devotee: So there were some lady acaryas.

B.R. Sridhara Maharaja: Yes, very rare. The number can be counted on fingers, lady acaryas. (1981 Conversation with Sripada BR Sridhara Maharaja)

Srila Prabhupada’s respected Godbrother also says that women may become gurus, but it is very rare. His only stipulation is that they cannot wear sannyasi garb and that they would accept only grhastha disciples.

8 ) “A woman’s nature has been particularly well studied by Kasyapa Muni. Women are self-interested by nature, and therefore they should be protected by all means so that their natural inclination to be too self-interested will not be manifested. Women need to be protected by men. A woman should be cared for by her father in her childhood, by her husband in her youth and by her grown sons in her old age. This is the injunction of Manu, who says that a woman should not be given independence at any stage. Women must be cared for so that they will not be free to manifest their natural tendency for gross selfishness. There have been many cases, even in the present day, in which women have killed their husbands to take advantage of their insurance policies. This is not a criticism of women but a practical study of their nature.”

Women on the bodily platform are selfish and should therefore be protected not only from lusty male predators but from their own lower natures as well. This is clear. The rest of the purport below, however, makes an important distinction.

“Such natural instincts of a woman or a man are manifested only in the bodily conception of life. When either a man or a woman is advanced in spiritual consciousness, the bodily conception of life practically vanishes.”

(Bhag. 6.18.42 purport)

When the bodily concept of life vanishes, the material qualities of one’s lower nature are transcended. The conclusion must be, therefore, that if a female devotee is actually advanced, above the bodily platform, she may assume the post of a spiritual master.

Here is a suggestion in relation to the above point: The bodily concept of life is transcended, along with the modes of nature, at the stage of bhava-bhakti. But at the level of nistha the residual anarthas are only remnants that not longer obstruct one’s progress (See Madhurya-kadambini, chapter 4). Therefore, we recommend that at least the symptoms of nistha should be seen in diksa-guru candidates,whether male or female.

9) Historical Examples of Female Gaudiya Diksa-gurus

a) Sita Thakurani—The wife of Advaita Prabhu. According to the Prema-vilasa(vilasa24) of Nityananda Dasa, Sita Thakurani gave diksa (krsna-mantra) to her two servants Nandini and Jangali. The vaikuntha-svarupas of Nandini and Jangali are the well-known gatekeepers Jaya and Vijaya (Gaura-ganoddeSa-dipika text 89). Their disciple-ship to Sitadevi, along with other interesting facts, is corroborated in the well-known and respected compilation named Gaudiya-vaisnava abhidhana and in theSita-caritra by Lokanatha Dasa.

b) Jahnava Thakurani– The wife of Nityananda Prabhu. Jahnava Thakurani became one of the greatest leaders of our tradition in its second generation. Virabhadra and Ramacandra, the sons (biological and adopted respectively) of Nityananda Prabhu, were two of the most famous among her initiated disciples.

“Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura writes in his Anubhasya, ‘Virabhadra Gosani was the direct son of Srila Nityananda Prabhu and a disciple of Jahnava Devi.’” (Caitanya-caritamrtaAdi-lila 11.8 purport)

“Yadunandana Acarya’s wife, Laksmi, was a very humble and submissive lady. She had two beautiful daughters named Srimati and Narayani. By the arrangement of Sri ISvari (Jahnava Devi), these two girls became the fortunate wives of Viracandra Prabhu. On the day of the wedding, Yadunandana took initiation from Viracandra, and Sri Jahnava happily accepted Srimati and Narayani as her disciples.” (Bhakti-ratnakara, ch. 13)

She is also confirmed as a diksa-guru both in the Gaudiya-vaisnava abhidhana (pg. 1246-47) and in the Prema-vilasa of Nityananda Dasa (vilasas 15 & 20).

c) Hemalata Thakurani– The eldest daughter of Srinivasa Acarya. Hemalata Thakurani, a contemporary of Jahnava, was one of the prominent leaders of the tradition at her time. Among her disciples, Yadunandana, the author of Karnananda,is particularly well-known (see Karnananda [ch.2 &3] and the introduction [pg 12] to Krsna-karnamrta by Sambidananda Das Ph.D). She also had a wayward disciple named Rupa Kaviraja. (see Gaudiya-vaisnava abhidhana 1422)

“Now the disciples of Sri Hemalata shall be described. Sri Suvala Chandra Thakura, and his nephew Sri Gokula Chakravarti were her disciples. Sri Radhavallava Thakura from Mandala village, Sri Vallavadasa of the Gosvami family, and Yadunandana Vaidya dasa of Malihati village were all disciples of Sri Isvari. Kanurama Chakravarti and his two servants Darpanayana and Candi, Ramacarana, Madhu Miswas, and Radha Kanta Vaidya were other disciples of Hemalata. Jagadisa Kaviraja and his follower, who was the brother of Radhavallabh Kaviraja were initiated by Hemalata.” (Karnananda, ch.2, last paragraph)

d) Gauranga-priya Devi– The second wife and disciple of Srinivasa Acarya (Gaudiya-vaisnava abhidhana 1224) She was from a Cakravarti brahmana family, her father being Raghunatha Cakravarti, a resident of West Gopalapura. She initiated a number of disciples, one being Gurucarana Dasa, who wrote a book at her behest called Premamrta which is based on the Prema-vilasa (Gaudiya-vaisnava abhidhana pg. 1203).

“Srinivasa Acarya’s first wife, Srimati ISvari Thakurani, was a highly devotional lady. Gauranga-priya, his second wife, also possessed exalted devotional qualities. In due course of time many persons became disciples of Srinivasa Acarya and his wives.”(Karnananda, ch.2)

e) Gangamata Gosvamini– A disciple of Haridasa Pandita Gosvami, the sevaite of Govindaji mentioned in Sri Caitanya-caritamrta.Among others, King Mukundadeva of Jagannatha Puri and a number of Lord Jagannatha’s sevaites received diksa from her. She was also an eloquent speaker and explained Srimad-Bhagavatam to large audiences. Gangamata Gosvamini’s case is further confirmation that a woman can be a guru in a bona fide Gaudiya Vaisnava line. At least up to her point in the line, the line was bona fide because her guru is confirmed by Srila Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami in the Caitanya-caritamrta (Adi60). Her acceptance of disciples is confirmed inGaudiya-vaisnava abhidhana (pgs. 1197-98) and by the present day mahanta, Balarama Das Gosvami, at the Gangamata Gosvamini Matha in Puri.

Should We Follow Such Examples?

In Bhagavad-gita, Lord Krsna says yad yad acarati sresthas tat tad evetaro janah / sa yat pramanam kurute lokas tad anuvartate. The people in general follow the example set by great personalities. Lord Krsna gave this as a reason why He Himself followed the laws of religion, because if He did not, others would follow His example. In this way, one might say that Lord Krsna functioned as an acarya, one who teaches by His own example. But in some cases, it is not correct for an ordinary person to follow the example of the Supreme Lord, as in His dancing with the gopis. The same is true of the great Vaisnavas: Sometimes their behavior is meant to be followed by ordinary persons, and sometimes not. So how do we know which actions of the Supreme Lord and great devotees are to be followed by us and which actions are not to be followed?

For example, in the few well-documented cases offered above for female gurus in Gaudiya Vaisnavism, we have presented personalities such as Jahnava Devi, the wife of Lord Nityananda. Is her becoming a guru a case to be followed as exemplary, or a case not to be imitated by us? One guide is the general scriptural warning to follow the instructions of the Lord and great devotees instead of imitating their activities. That should make us cautious.

Another guide is the indications from sadhu and guru. For example, Srila Prabhupada was asked by a professor if women could become gurus in our movement. Srila Prabhupada answered that they could, and he provided Jahnava Devi as an example. Because our founder-acarya clearly indicated that the behavior of Jahnava Devi could be a guide for us on the question of whether or not women can become gurus in ISKCON, it is not wrong for us to follow that indication.

We have not found any statement by Srila Prabhupada that the example of Jahnava Devi is not exemplary. Therefore we can take her example as one of the cases in which it is proper to follow the example. But Srila Prabhupada also gave some cautionary remarks in this connection, indicating that it was rare for women to becomegurus, and that should also be taken into account.

Weighing the Evidence and Concluding

The one significant negative statement—“Suniti, however, being a woman, and specifically his mother, could not become Dhruva Maharaja’s diksa-guru.” (Bhag. 4.12.32 purport)—can be interpreted differently. One possible interpretation is that women cannot initiate male devotees, but could do so for female devotees. Another could be that women can initiate all others except their own offspring. This second interpretation could be supported by the fact that Lord Nityananda’s second wife, Sri Vasudha Devi, did not initiate her own son, Viracandra, but Sri Jahnava Devi did so. In any case, Srila Prabhupada is referring to an incident at a specific time in the distant past, and his other statements dealing with the present time (conversations with Professor O’Connell or with Atreya Rsi Dasa), and specifically within ISKCON, are more valuable as pramanas in this discussion.

Additionally, the vaidika system was operating during the Satya-yuga. Under that system, women did not generally receive initiation. Therefore, logically, they also could not give it. Under the more recent pancaratrika system, however, qualified women can accept and offer initiation.

We have also presented statements, on the one hand, demanding the social dependency and protection of women and, on the other, statements declaring that in spiritual matters such considerations may be transcended.

When we look at all of Srila Prabhupada’s statements we see that he had the conception of female gurus in the future, i.e. if they could meet the standard, and that there were female gurus in the past whom Srila Prabhupada cited as evidence for his position. But he did say that they were rare, and so we should follow that indication.

Weighing the philosophical evidence, the SAC team concludes that female devotees, if qualified, should be allowed to give initiation in ISKCON.

It seems unsupportable on the basis of guru, sadhu and sastra to have a policy that asserts that there can never be female gurus in ISKCON. The GBC, however, may choose to not have female gurus at present on the basis of time, place and circumstance or cultural considerations. But then there would have to be some justification as to why this kind of policy should be necessary now.

If the GBC consensus is to go forward with female gurus in ISKCON, then we suggest relative prerequisites to be considered. The following prerequisites take social concerns into account:

Relative Prerequisites and Support

Since it is difficult to ascertain someone’s level of bhakti,and to ensure stability, it may be considered prudent by the GBC to place some relative prerequisites, not absolute ones (otherwise it would violate the kiba-vipra verse [CcMadhya 8.128]), on female guru candidates in ISKCON. Here are a few humble suggestions:

a) The Vaisnavi should normally be of a certain age (e.g. fifty or more).

b) The Vaisnavi should normally have performed a minimum number of years of sadhana-bhakti.(e.g. twenty-five or thirty years)

c) The Vaisnavi should normally have some family support, e.g. husband, adult son or daughter or adult son-in-law or daughter-in-law, and a residential base to ensure her psycho-social stability. This suggested proviso corresponds to the many recommendations and warnings of women becoming independent given in dharma-sastras.

d) The Vaisnavi should normally have spiritual support in the form of at least one or more siksa-gurusor senior mentors from which she can take assistance.

Why should relative conditions be placed on female guru candidates?

Women have a different psycho-physical nature than men. Therefore, while still in the sadhana stages of bhakti, a female-guru candidate would do well to have some relative support. Furthermore, it is rare to find examples of their taking the role of guru. This is clearly stated by Srila Prabhupada and others in the above cited conversations. These relative prerequisites are simple measures to safeguard and support future female gurus without burdening prospective candidates with unnecessary bureaucracy.

We are teaching our disciples to address amongst themselves “prabhu.” This is not new thing. This is very old. Now Narada is addressing Vyasadeva, “prabhu,” his disciple. His disciple, he’s addressing prabhu. So we should give respect. Just like we address, “Kirtanananda Maharaja.” Although he’s my disciple, but the respect should be given. Here, see, Narada is addressing Vyasadeva: “Prabhu.” “My dear prabhu. . (lecture, SB 1.5.1-4, May 22, 1969)

A spiritual master takes his disciples as his spiritual master. That is the position. He thinks that “Krishna has sent me so many spiritual masters.” He does not think himself as spiritual master. He thinks himself their servant. Because they have to be trained. Krishna has appointed him to train them. Therefore he thinks himself as servant of the disciples. This is the position. So when one is advanced, he can see the importance of devotees.

Advanced devotee never disobey or disrespect another devotee. Disrespect to another devotee is a great offense. Vaishnava aparadha. Vaishnava aparadha is very serious offense. Therefore we teach to address amongst the devotees, “Prabhu”, “Prabhu”, “Such and such Prabhu.” This should not be simply spoken by the lips. It should be realized. Everyone should think other devotee as his prabhu, master. Not he should try to become master.

trnad api sunicena

taror api sahisnuna

amanina manadena…

Manadena. We should be always ready to offer respect to all, not only devotees, but everyone. Everyone. Because every living entity is originally a devotee of Krishna. But circumstantially, being covered by the coat of maya, he’s playing like demon. But his original nature is a devotee of Krishna. Jivera svarxpa haya nitya krsnera dasa. Everyone is eternally servant of Krishna. But being influenced by maya, when he gets this body, given by maya… Prakrteh kriyamanani gunaih karmani sarvasah, when he’s conducted by the three gunas of maya, he thinks himself otherwise. He thinks himself independent of Krishna. But actually, nobody is independent of Krishna. (lecture NOD October 23, 1972)

Devotees address each other as “prabhu”

We advise everyone to address one another as Prabhu. Prabhu means master, so how the master should be disobeyed? Others, they are also pure devotees. All of my disciples are pure devotees. Anyone sincerely serving the spiritual master is a pure devotee . . . Do not try to make a faction . . . Amongst ourselves one should respect others as Prabhu, master, one another. As soon as we distinguish here is a pure devotee, here is a non-pure devotee, that means I am a nonsense. (letter to Tusta Krishna December 14, 1972)

Any Vaisnava is addressed as prabhu, but Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is Mahaprabhu, the topmost prabhu, the master prabhu. All others are servant prabhu. . . all Vaisnava should be addressed as prabhu; that is the etiquette. (CcAdi 7.2 lecture March 2, 1974)

In Krishna consciousness we address our contemporaries as “prabhu.” Prabhu means master. And the real idea is that “You are my master, I am your servant.” Just the opposite number. Here, in the material world, everyone wants to place himself as the master. “I am your master, you are my servant.” That is the mentality of material existence. And the spiritual existence means “I am the servant, you are the master.” Just see. Just the opposite number. (lecture Bg 4.9, June 19, 1968)

A real devotee, he does not show any disrespect even to the ant, and what to speak of the demigods, because he is in knowledge that “Every living entity is part and parcel of the Supreme Lord. They’re playing different parts only. So in relationship with the Supreme Lord they’re all my respectables.” Therefore a devotee is taught to address all his contemporaries as “Prabhu, my dear sir, my dear lord.” That is the position of Krishna consciousness. (lecture Bg 7.18 October 12, 1966)

Women devotees as well as men devotees are addressed as “prabhu”

The Lord Caitanya is called Mahaprabhu. Mahan-prabhu. Prabhu, master. There are different kinds of master, but He’s the mahan-prabhu, the Supreme Master, Supreme Master, and Purusa at the same time. Prabhu, you can say… A woman also can become the master. . . (Cc Adi 7.108 lecture February 18, 1967)

Now another thing, that girls should not be taken as inferior. You see? Sometimes… Of course, sometimes scripture we say that “Woman is the cause of bondage.” So that should not be, I mean to say, aggravated. (laughs) That should not be aggravated, that “Woman is inferior,” or something like that. So the girls who come, you should treat them nicely . . After all, anyone who is coming to Krishna consciousness, man or woman, boys or girls, they are welcome. They are very fortunate. You see. And the idea of addressing “prabhu” means “you are my master.” That is the… Prabhu means master. And Prabhupada means many masters who bows down at his lotus feet. That is Prabhupada. So each, everyone shall treat others as “My master.” This is the Vaisnava (September 24, 1968 conversation)

From a letter to Himavati Devi Dasi, June 14, 1968:

Yes, to call one another prabhu is all right, but not to become prabhu. To accept others as prabhu, and remain as servant is the idea. But because somebody is calling you prabhu, one should not become a prabhu, and treat others as servants. In other words, everyone should feel himself as servant, and not to think himself prabhu because he is being called prabhu. This will make the relationship congenial.

Srila Prabhupada addressed his male and female disciples as “prabhu”

My Dear Ranadhira,

Please accept my blessings. . . Yes, I have all blessings for the happy marriage of Haladhara Prabhu and Joan Prabhu, so you may immediately do the needful in this regards. (16 February, 1971)

Anna Prabhu may be initiated also and she has my blessings for being married to Puranda at the earliest convenience. (letter to Mukunda April 13, 1971)

So the stock of japa beads I brought with me has been depleted. Malati Prabhu was supposed to have brought some beads with her from India, and so I would like that those beads be sent immediately to N.Y. center by air. (letter to Tribhuvanatha July 4, 1971)

My Dear Kirtanananda Maharaja, Vrindaban Candra, and Silavati, Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letters just now received by me here in Calcutta and describing your plans for travelling Sankirtana party, and it is very much encouraging news for me. Silavati Prabhu said that this was her long cherished dream. It has been mine also. . . (November 6, 1971)

In Los Angeles I personally advised them in all the different aspects of deity worship, so you may consult, especially with Silavati Prabhu (now in Dallas) and do the needful. . . (letter to Sri Govinda, January 31, 1973)

My dear Gangamayi,

Please accept my blessings. . . I am glad to hear that you are determined to stay and live in the temple now and that you are becoming very much attached to the Deity worship and very serious about serving the Deity along with Malati Prabhu. . . (May 9, 1974)

My Dear Sacimata Prabhu,

Please accept my blessings. I am in receipt of your letter dated 3rd October 1976 and I have noted the contents carefully. . .

Conclusion

. . there is a place which is full of eternal happiness. So this life should be engaged for that purpose, not to fight like cats and dogs. That is not very credit. Credit means ruining one’s life. If one fights like cats and dogs, he becomes cats and dogs. Nature’s law is very strict. Therefore we should be very careful not to become like cats and dogs but to become very humble÷humbler than the grass and tolerant than the tree. Amanina. Everyone wants that “I am very honorable man, prestigious man. And you should respect me.” That is our material disease. “I do not want to respect you, but you should offer me respect.” This is the position. Therefore our system is to call another Vaishnava as prabhu. “Sir, you are prabhu, you are master.” But we call prabhu, but I think, “No, you are not prabhu; I am prabhu. You are servant.” This cheating process will not help us. Actually, we should believe that he is prabhu. “He is servant of Krishna; therefore he is my prabhu.” This is Vaisnava mentality. Gopi-bhartur pada-kamalayor dasa-dasa-dasa-dasanudasa. One who wants to become servant of the servant of the servant of the servant, he is actually prabhu. If falsely one thinks that “I am prabhu,” then his life is spoiled. So this word we use amongst ourself, prabhu, means that “I am your servant, you are my master.” But that should be practically exhibited. That is called tapasya, to learn all these things. (lecture SB 5.5.1, October 23, 1976)

I am not a brahmana, I am not a ksatriya, I am not a vaisya or asudra. Nor am I a brahmacari, a householder, a vanaprastha or a sannyasi. I identify Myself only as the servant of the servant of the servant of the lotus feet of Lord Sri Krsna, the maintainer of the gopis. (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila, 13.80)

Although each of us must carefully follow the particular principles of the role we are playing in society – whether as a wife or husband, a brahmacari or sannyasi – our true identity is that we are the eternal servants of the servants of the devotees of Lord Sri Krsna. By playing our present-day role in the proper consciousness, we can realise our original identity – who we actually are – and rejoin Krsna in His home. Krsna says, ‘By worship of the Lord, who is the source of all beings and who is all-pervading, one can attain perfection through performing one’s own work’. (Bhagavad-gita 18.46)

To be a husband or a wife is, in Srila Prabhupada’s words, ‘actually a duty performed in mutual cooperation as directed in the authoritative scriptures for spiritual advancement. Therefore marriage is essential in order to avoid the life of cats and dogs, who are not meant for spiritual enlightenment’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 3.14.19) We accept the role of husband or wife so that we can gradually become the best devotee we are capable of being. The first and overriding principle in the husband-wife relationship is the unrelenting desire of both individuals to make their marriage work through Krsna consciousness. If that desire is in place, then there are scores of books and discussions, counsellors, scriptural directions and the Lord in the heart to help. For now, based on Srila Prabhupada’s teachings, let us briefly look at six items that can hamper one’s service as a husband or a wife. Then we will look at six items that can enhance that service.

What makes it rough

(1) Weakness of character

Srila Prabhupada writes: ‘When a young boy or girl sees a member of the opposite sex there is a natural attraction without the need for any introduction. Without any training there is a natural attraction due to the sex impulse’. (Nectar of Devotion, p. 81) Prior to marriage, this natural attraction for the company of the opposite sex may lead to flirting, dating, and dallying in coyness and sexual innuendos. Such casual premarital relationships deny young men and women the fortitude that celibacy in mind, word and deed creates; deny the magnificence of carefree sailing over choppy waves of unnecessary indulgences; and deny a sense of completion to one’s formative years.

By such indulgence, material tendencies expand, one’s neediness expands, and one hankers and laments. Young persons, who avoid the gifts that come from voluntary self-dis-cipline, may later find themselves handicapped householders, that is, householders who have difficulty controlling their senses, who are dissatisfied and frustrated. Because they have not taken the time to find the quiet confidence of emotional fulfilment and happiness within themselves, they crave those things from their partner. But fulfilment and happiness are not to be found there. Srila Prabhupada explains:

Unfortunately, in this present civilisation both men and women are allowed to be attracted to one another from the very beginning of life, and because of this they are completely unable to come to the platform of self-realisation. They do not know that without self-realisation they suffer the greatest loss in the human form of life … The span of youth expires very quickly. One who wastes his life simply by committing sinful activities in youth immediately becomes disappointed and disillusioned when the brief period of youth is over. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 4.27.4-5)

Our goal is to re-establish our relationship with God, and we cannot expect to do that by defying His social standards. Moreover, when one is thinking of a qualified companion for a qualified young devotee, one is attracted to a person with inspired devotion, a kind heart and spiritual wisdom. In short, a good devotee, not one who is needy, intemperate and who defies Srila Prabhupada’s directives. If we would be married, we must make ourselves marriageable by becoming disciplined human beings.

We find this description in Srimad-Bhagavatam (4.21.4): ‘As the King entered the gate of the city … he was received by many beautiful unmarried girls whose bodies were bedecked with various ornaments’. In his purport, Srila Prabhupada explains, ‘A welcome offered by unmarried girls who are internally and externally clean and are dressed in nice garments and ornaments is auspicious. Kumari, or unmarried girls untouched by the hand of any member of the opposite sex, are auspicious members of society’. Thekumaris and the brahmacaris (described elsewhere in the Bhagavatam) separately learn to serve God, to worship Him, to become absorbed in enriching, spiritual arts and to explore their unique gifts. By developing their inner and outer lives with same-sex peers, these young people discover their personal mettle, thrive in that discovery, and have a strong sense of self-worth. Their noble and godlike character is not a thing of favour or chance but is the natural result of continued effort, self-control and good association, and their presence is always auspi-cious. Those who would achieve much must also sacrifice much. When young people with a solid personal foundation in self-discipline later enter household life, they also make it auspicious. ‘Before entering household life, a student is fully trained to become jitendriya, a conqueror of the senses. Such a mature student is allowed to become a householder.’ (Srimad-Bhagavatam 5.1.18) By Krsna’s grace, the future husband and the future wife find fullness and beauty first within themselves and then in each other.

After several decades, when the challenging journey of householder life finally ends, the singular strength one found in youth and maintained in midlife can fortify one at life’s closure. Srila Prabhupada writes:

… at the end of life, when one has to go back home, back to Godhead, everyone has to take care of himself without help rendered by another … Draupadi had five husbands, and no one asked Draupadi to come; Draupadi had to take care of herself without waiting for her great husbands. And because she was already trained, she at once took to concentration upon the lotus feet of Lord Vasudeva, Krsna, the Personality of Godhead. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.15.50)

The ultimate goal of life is the spiritual growth of the individual; it is our personal journey to the lotus feet of the Lord. Successful training and a successful marriage nurture this most significant journey. In fact, training and marriage exist for nurturing that journey. ‘If husband and wife are attached to one another for advancement in Krsna consciousness, their relationship of cooperation is very effective for such advancement’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.18.34)

(2) Incompatibility

Worse than being alone is to be with a person who doesn’t like you. Too many devotees have experienced the anguish and chaos caused by an incompatible marriage. Such travesties are systematically avoided in Vaisnava culture because, besides undergoing training and learning restraint before marriage, all care is taken in matchmaking: ‘Formerly, boys and girls of similar dispositions were married; the similar natures of the boy and girl were united in order to make them happy’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 3.21.15) ‘The central idea is that if the boy and girl were on an equal level the marriage would be happy, whereas inequality would lead to unhappiness’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 9.18.23) ‘Marriage and friendship are proper between two people who are equal in terms of their wealth, birth, influence, physical appearance and capacity for good progeny, but never between a superior and an inferior’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.60.15) We want our life’s companion to be a true peer.

Besides conscientiously matching a suitable young man with a suitable young woman, compatibility also includes the husband having like-minded male friends and the wife having like-minded female friends. All our dialogue need not fall on just one pair of ears, but in confidence, we reveal our mind to and have dedicated and loving ties with handpicked friends. If at some point our marriage is rocky, qualified friends can help us learn from the difficulties and acquire skills to improve our relationship. Marriage is a process of changing and accepting change, of settling differences and living with differences that will never be settled, of drawing close and pulling apart and drawing close again. Good friends smooth the bumps on this long journey.

Compatibility also includes living with our spouse’s faults. Anyone can live with another’s good qualities, but can you live with that person’s weaknesses? After the initial period of guarded good behaviour, the character flaws we brought with us to the marriage begin to surface, and we face the pain of dealing with both our own and our spouse’s shortcomings and the conflicts those create. No two people are completely compatible, and not all incompatibilities in marriage can be worked out. Sometimes inevitable differences can be laughed at, sometimes coped with, sometimes negotiated, sometimes accepted, and sometimes they are complementary. Sometimes waiting and praying is the answer. It is rewarding when, after thousands of these tribulations have come and gone, you know and honour your spouse despite the differences between you. By focusing on closeness, differences become manageable; by focusing on differences, closeness disappears.

The more one advances in consciousness, the less affected one is by another’s failings; conversely, the more neophyte we are, the more those failings will irritate us. Not everyone can be like Mandodari, the chaste wife of Ravana, who was fully aware of her husband’s lowly nature and activities and yet remained loyal till the end: ‘Ravana’s wife Mandodari knew very well how cruel a person Ravana was. The very word Ravana means one who causes crying for others … Thus Ravana was condemned not only by Lord Ramacandra but even by his own wife, Mandodari, who said to the slain body of her husband, By your deeds you have made your body fit to be eaten by vultures and your soul fit to go to hell.’ (Srimad-Bhagavatam9.10.26-8)

(3) An inability to hear

Our prayer is not, ‘Dear God, help him (her) see it my way’, but, ‘Please God, show us the way’. Even with spiritual progress as a common goal, even with inner strength and compat-ibility, a marriage will still be painfully difficult if the couple cannot empathetically hear from each other. If we only listen enough to protect our own territory, we lose common ground. If we only hear what we want to hear, we will remain inflexible and unaware of the other’s needs. But when we don’t impose ourself on the other or allow the other to impose himself or herself on us, hearing is an opportunity for lifetime learning, for responding to healthy needs and for reconciling divergent opinions. A rewarding marriage creates an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly. Emotions need not be repressed; they can be expressed, but expressed considerately, so the other can hear.

True hearing, total concentration on the other, is to value the other and extend oneself for mutual growth. An essential part of this process is to temporarily set aside our prejudices, frames of reference and desires so as to experience our spouse’s world from the inside, stepping into his or her shoes. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker feels inclined to open up more to the listener, and the listener appreciates the speaker more and more. Unfortunately, most couples do not truly hear each other.

The art of knowing what to say and when to say it and the craft of give and take are part of hearing, as illustrated in this pastime from the Sixth Canto of the Bhagavatam, explained in Srila Prabhupada’s purports: ‘Mother Parvati could not appreciate Citraketu’s position, and therefore she cursed him, but when she understood the instructions of Lord Siva [her husband] she was ashamed … and covered her face with the skirt of her sari, admitting that she was wrong in cursing Citraketu’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.17.35, 36)

However, earlier in this wonderfully intricate narrative, we learned:

The difficulty was that Citraketu, having become a great devotee of Lord Visnu, Sankarsana, was somewhat proud at having achieved Lord Sankarsana’s favour and therefore thought that he could now criticise anyone, even Lord Siva. This kind of pride in a devotee is never tolerated … Mother Parvati was justified in punishing Citraketu, for Citraketu impudently criticised the supreme father, Mahadeva … Acting through the heart of Parvati, the Lord, who is situated in everyone’s heart, cursed Citraketu in order to end all his material reactions. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.17.10, 15, 17)

Given this explanation, was there a need for Parvati to hide her face in shame? Yes, for by doing this, instead of an argument to establish who was ‘right’ and who was ‘wrong’, we find Parvati acknowledging her husband’s greatness, his joking exchange with Citraketu and Citraketu’s amazing devotional qualities. Yet, at the same time, her curse remains in tact for the reasons Srila Prabhupada mentions above. The exchange is a beautiful interplay of maturity, humility, knowledge and detachment – a tapestry of harmony despite differences.

The inability to hear and the inability to speak in such a way that we can be heard creates a husband and wife who ‘constantly make material endeavours to eliminate their unhap-piness and unlimitedly increase their pleasure but who inevitably achieve exactly the opposite result’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam11.3.18)

(4) Self-righteousness

At the time of initiation we solemnly vow to avoid intoxication, illicit sex, meat eating and gambling and to chant sixteen rounds of the maha-mantradaily. To preserve these holy vows that we take before the Deity, before the fire and before the Vaisnavas are the most important practices in our spiritual life. Caring for one another means protecting these principles in each other’s lives by our example and by our words.

Yet, if the husband or the wife is not following these principles, we do not have the right to reject that person because we feel superior. The day may come when the roles are reversed, for pride leads to a loss of austerity. Without being condescending and self-righteous, the one who is strict can humbly help the lax one, and the lax one must be willing to accept that help. This is teamwork, an exchange of affection in which one person’s misfortune of distraction becomes turned around by the other person’s gift of focus.

If we have too high an estimation of ourselves, we will make our asramainto a war zone. This war may not be over fundamentals, like the regulative principles, but over more minor infractions – wasting time, wasting money, inappropriate behaviour, harsh language, and so forth. Whatever the cause of upset, the discussion and the mood can still be good-natured and hopeful instead of angry and accusative. Contempt is a corrosive that over time breaks down the bond between husband and wife. In the exchange between Parvati and Siva quoted above, instead of contempt and pride, we find light-heartedness and submission. Since both of them are honourable, it is natural for them to honour each other.

For one who cares about another, confronting that person is not easy; the act has a great potential for arrogance, for to confront is to assume a position of moral superiority over the other – we confront because we want to change the course of that person’s life. The reality is that at times, one does know better about a certain matter than the other, and one is obliged to confront the other with the problem. To do this effectively, we must stringently examine the value of our ‘wisdom’ and our motives behind offering it. (Peck, 1978) This self-scrutiny and self-doubting requires the unusual combination of meekness and strength. To fail to confront when confrontation is required is as detrimental as self-righteous con-demnation. When circumstances require it, a partner must sparingly and carefully confront the other, and in turn, submit to being confronted by the other.

(5) Quitting (in a non-abusive relationship)

In marriage, commitment is a journey by two people who have oneness in purpose. When we unearth the taproot of commitment, we come to our commitment to the Supreme Lord Krsna, from whom the quality of commitment originally emanates, in whom it eternally reposes, and who Himself is the perfection of commitment. Sri Krsna says: ‘To those who are constantly devoted to serving Me with love, I give the understanding by which they can come to Me. To show them special mercy, I, dwelling in their hearts, destroy with the shining lamp of knowledge the darkness born of ignorance’. (Bhagavad-gita 10.10-11) The Lord is unwaveringly committed to selflessly serving those who serve Him selflessly.

Marriage is difficult; once that fact is accepted, it no longer matters. Sometimes, because of false ego, there may be tremendous conflict and disagreement between husband and wife, but if, in this darkness, their mutual commitment to their relationship prevails, that commitment can carry their relationship beyond its troubles to greater intimacy. When quitting is not an option and is not justified, the alternative – sooner or later – is overcoming the difficulty. Difficulties are inevitable, but overcoming them – not quitting – is optional and requires our discipline, courage and wisdom. Our reward is to again resonate, to grow in kindness, in trust and in trustworthiness. Problems and conflict are not an opportunity to quit but to move forward, to become unstuck. As Krsna is mystical, so non-negotiable commitment to His service is also mystical because, by His grace, we can deal with a problem when we take respon-sibility for it. When the Lord sends us a test, He simultaneously gives us the ability to pass that test if we so desire. ‘The Lord is so kind to His devotee that when severely testing him the Lord gives him the necessary strength to be tolerant and to continue to remain a glorious devotee’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 8.22.29-30)

In his last speech to the members of the Gaudiya Matha, delivered on 23 December 1936, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura spoke on remaining committed despite obsta-cles:

Living in this world one has to face many kinds of difficulties. It is not our job to try and remove those difficulties. Nor should they depress us … We have no attachment or hostility towards anyone in this world. All arrangements of this world are temporary. Everyone has an indispensable need for the Absolute Truth. May all of you with one goal and in harmony with each other, attain the right to serve the original asraya-vigraha [Krsna].

We become a husband or a wife as a service to Krsna. Difficulties are not a reason to stop that service or to become discouraged. They are an opportunity, however painful, to serve with fewer conditions. In the end, that self-sacrifice becomes self-enhancement because, for a devotee, sacrifice is an offering to please the Lord. Sacrifice is the surrender of something desirable for the sake of something having a higher claim. We surrender quitting so that we can please Srila Prabhupada.

(6) Selfishness

If we focus on our own needs and negate our partner, the relationship can’t last, and if we give up who we are to please our partner, we may suffocate and become frustrated, resentful and depressed. One who is self-controlled doesn’t need to lord over another, and neither does that person need to be lorded over by another. Marriage is a balance between satisfying ourself and satisfying our partner. It is maintaining an awareness of the other person and that person’s desires, even as the other maintains an awareness of us and our wishes. It is putting ourself out, when necessary, to satisfy the other person’s feelings and needs. Marriage is sincerely and respectfully discerning what is best for everyone.

For example, ‘the first duty of a chaste woman is to carry out the order of her husband’. (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Antya-lila, 7.106) Yet, inRamayana we find that when Rama ordered His wife, Sita, to remain in the kingdom until His return from banishment, Sita, renowned as one of five supremely chaste women, insisted that she accompany Rama. Rama’s reasoning was that He had been banished, not Sita, and that forest life would be difficult and dangerous for her. But Sita felt that her place was to be with Rama instead of alone in Ayodhya. Had Sita automatically subordinated herself to Rama’s will, she would not have been true to herself. Similarly, had Rama insisted that Sita remain behind – for many sound reasons – He would have dishonoured Sita’s desire. Sita gave up a comfortable life so that she could fulfil her need to be with Rama, and Rama gave up His vision of a safe life for Sita so that He could please her by allowing her to come with Him. Reason and logic have been delicately tempered by needs and feelings. Both must be taken into consideration for a couple’s well-being, so neither feels ignored or suppressed.

Another beautiful interplay of selflessness is when the the wife of Sudama suggested that her poverty-stricken husband see his friend, Lord Krsna, in Dvaraka. Prabhupada writes, ‘The wife was not anxious for her personal comfort, but she felt concerned for her husband, who was such a piousbrahmana‘. (Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Ch. 80) Sudama agreed to go to Dvaraka not because he wanted to ask Krsna for help but because he wanted to see the Lord and to satisfy his wife, who was so eager to satisfy him.

Selfishness is closely related to the inability to hear, as our preoccupation with ourself makes us deaf to another’s voice. To overcome this, we can learn to consider all matters thoughtfully, with due respect to our spouse’s point of view. This honest approach, which avoids manipulation and partiality to one’s own insights, facilitates finding a better conclu-sion than one person alone could have attained. It is unlikely that the best possible decision will be made if one person imposes his or her will on the other. After all, our will, our deep conviction of what is undoubtedly ‘right’ and Krsna conscious, may actually be the zeal experienced by neophyte devotees, who, in the words of Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami, are ‘very expert in arguing though they have no sense of advanced devotional service’. (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila, 2.93) In other words, without our being aware of it, our dearly held opinion may cloak selfishness.

When differences are humbly honoured and balanced, the husband and wife find the room they need for spiritual growth, both individually and as a satisfied couple. A mutual spirit of goodwill shifts their focus from themselves to the other. Each wants the best for the other and each feels the other is an ally.

What makes it smoother

(1) Enthusiasm

‘Without enthusiasm’, Srila Prabhupada writes, ‘one cannot be successful. Even in the material world, one has to be very enthusiastic in his particular field of activity in order to become successful’. (Nectar of Instruction, p. 30) When Sukanya, a young princess, was wed to Cyavana Muni, an irritable old sadhu, she set her mind not on the apparently unfortunate match but on making a conscientious effort to do her best. She did not try to change her spouse but fully played her role, surrendered her pride and, by perseverance, succeeded in making a marriage that worked. A devotee’s enthusiasm crystallises into industriousness, which solidifies into circumstances of Krsna conscious pleasantness and advancement.

In his introduction to Bhagavad-gita As It Is, Srila Prabhupada explains that our inherent nature is to serve. In this world everyone is rendering service to someone, just as, for example, the wife serves the husband and the husband serves the wife. Both the wife and the husband can be enthusiastic in this service because, as Srila Prabhupada states elsewhere, ‘Krsna is pleased when a Vaisnava is rendered service’. (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila, 5.24) If our spouse is a devotee and we are sincerely serving that person, we will benefit spiritually. ‘Anyone who wishes to advance in Krsna consciousness must try to serve the devotees of Krsna’. (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Antya-lila, 13.113)

Marriage is like a fortress created by the husband and wife to protect themselves from the powerful enemies of the uncontrolled senses and peacefully make spiritual advance-ment. ‘The bodily senses are considered plunderers of the fort of the body. The wife is supposed to be the commander of the fort, and therefore whenever there is an attack on the body by the senses, it is the wife who protects the body from being smashed’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 3.14.20)

‘There is no difference between a good wife and good intelligence. One who possesses good intelligence can deliberate properly and save himself from many dangerous conditions’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 4.26.16) ‘One who is situated in household life and who systematically conquers his mind and five sense organs is like a king in his fortress who conquers his powerful enemies’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 5.1.18) As in any battle, if they would be victorious, the fighters must first be enthusiastic.

(2) Gratitude

The health of the marriage depends on the health of the individuals in it, and it is gratitude that keeps those individuals healthy and free from dullness and complacency. As a household dedicated to spiritual cultivation, thegrhastha-asrama is founded on the spouses respecting, honouring and appreciating each other as Krsna’s devotees. The husband thinks, ‘My wife is the sacred and holy property of her spiritual master and of Krsna. She is not mine. If I do not honour her, if I do not respect her, if I do not protect her and provide for her, then I am a vaisnava–aparadhi. I am offending a Vaisnava, and it will seriously impede my spiritual progress’. Similarly, a wife sees her husband as the sacred and holy property of guru and Krsna. She treats him as a Vaisnava and is faithful and assists and serves him in his role as her husband. Each appreciates the sacrifice of the other, the generosity of the other, the loving intent of the other, and each grows in gratitude, overlooking the other’s flaws. A sane person wants nothing less than this in marriage and will make the success of such a relationship a top priority.

An example of marital appreciation from Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead: when the cowherd boyfriends of Krsna were refused alms by the brahmanas who were performing sacrifices, Krsna sent them to the wives of those brahmanas, who ecstatically provided varieties of wonderful foods for Krsna, Balarama and Their friends. Later, the brahmanasunderstood their foolishness in refusing the boys and appreciated the spiritual advancement of their wives. They said, ‘Just see how fortunate these women are who have so devotedly dedicated their lives to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krsna … They have surpassed all of us in firm faith and devotion unto Krsna’. (Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Ch. 23)

In another place Srila Prabhupada writes:

Everyone should be friendly for the service of the Lord. Everyone should praise another’s service to the Lord and not be proud of his own service. This is the way of Vaisnava thinking, Vaikuntha thinking … Everyone should be allowed to render service to the Lord to the best of his ability, and everyone should appreciate the service of others. Such are the activities of Vaikuntha. Since everyone is a servant, everyone is on the same platform and is allowed to serve the Lord according to his ability. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.5.12)

Sincere gratitude is an antidote for self-righteousness.

(3) Affection

Lord Krsna told Rukmini, ‘My dear beautiful wife, you know that because we are householders we are always busy in many household affairs and long for a time when we can enjoy some joking words between us. That is our ultimate gain in household life’. Srila Prabhupada comments, ‘Actually, householders work very hard day and night, but all fatigue of the day’s labour is minimised as soon as they meet, husband and wife together, and enjoy life in many ways. Lord Krsna wanted to exhibit Himself as being like an ordinary householder who delights himself by exchanging joking words with his wife’. (Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Ch. 60) Similarly, it is described, ‘Lord Siva was sitting in an assembly of great saintly persons and embracing Parvati on his lap with his arm … For Parvati to be embraced by Lord Siva was natural in a relationship between husband and wife; this was nothing extraordinary’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.17.5). Also,

We always speak of the goddess of fortune as being placed on the chest of Narayana. In other words, the wife must remain embraced by her husband. Thus she becomes beloved and well protected … Just as intelligence is always within the heart, so a beloved chaste wife should always have her place on the chest of a good husband. This is the proper relationship between husband and wife. A wife is therefore called ardhangani, or half of the body. One cannot remain with only one leg, one hand or only one side of the body. He must have two sides. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 4.26.17)

A prerequisite for affection is acceptance, and from acceptance grows a rich understanding and deep trust between the husband and wife. In marriages that have endured for some time, the partners are comfortably and effortlessly together, whether in dialogue or in silence. They can always be themselves, with nothing to prove, nothing to get, no need to impress. They feel mutually secure, cared for, wanted and valued. The strength of their affection allows them to enjoy each other’s company – foibles and all. Affection shifts frustration, anger and blame to friendliness, understanding and kindness.

(4) Contentment

Everyone’s goal is to enter into and and remain in the elusive condition called ‘happiness’. To be happy we must be peaceful. In Krsna’s words, ‘How can there be happiness without peace?'(Bhagavad-gita 2.66) To be peaceful we must be content with whatever situation we are in. We accept our lot in life and are happy even if we don’t completely settle our marital discord. ‘One should be satisfied with whatever he achieves by his previous destiny, for discontent can never bring happiness’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam8.19.24) There is no element of chance in the circumstances of our life – they are the result of a law that cannot err, and they are our destiny created by our past activities. It is as futile to rail against our pains and misfortunes as it is to toil to increase our pleasures. ‘Without endeavour, one can get the amount of happiness and distress for which he is destined. And one cannot change this. Therefore, it is better to use one’s time for advancement in the spiritual life of Krsna consciousness’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.7.42)

(5) A long-term vision

When King Yayati was cursed to immediately become old, he was also benedicted that he could exchange his old age with another’s youth. Yayati approached his son, Yadu, for this exchange, but Yadu refused, not out of defiance or a desire for sense gratification but because Yadu had a long-term Krsna conscious vision: he wanted to use his youth to attain the renounced order in the future. Srila Prabhupada explains:

Maharaja Yadu was very eager to engage himself in the Lord’s service, but there was an impediment: during youth the material desire to enjoy the material senses is certainly present, and unless one fully satisfies these lusty desires in youth, there is a chance of one’s being disturbed in rendering service to the Lord. We have actually seen that many sannyasis who acceptsannyasa prematurely, not having satisfied their material desires, fall down because they are disturbed. Therefore the general process is to go through grhastha life and vanaprasthalife and finally come to sannyasa and devote oneself completely to the service of the Lord. Maharaja Yadu was ready to accept his father’s order and exchange youth for old age because he was confident that the youth taken by his father would be returned. But because this exchange would delay his complete engagement in devotional service, he did not want to accept his father’s old age, for he was eager to achieve freedom from disturbances. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 9.18.40)

The husband and wife play their roles expertly so that eventually they will expertly distinguish reality from illusion, become fully self-realised and attain love of God. ‘If a man is in good consciousness, he consults with his religious wife, and as a result of this consultation, with intelligence, one advances in his ability to estimate the value of life. In other words, if one is fortunate enough to have a good, conscientious wife, he can decide by mutual consultation that human life is meant for advancing in Krsna consciousness’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 4.27.6)

(6) Krsna consciousness

Our home is Krsna’s property, and when we orient all the affairs of our home around its proprietor, Krsna – around service to the Deities – then all our household activities are devotional service. If we’re Krsna conscious, if we’re actually grhasthas, then everything we do is spiritual. ‘According to Bhaktivinoda Thakura, a husband and wife can turn the home into a place as good as Vaikuntha, even while in this material world. Being absorbed in Krsna consciousness, even in this world husband and wife can live in Vaikuntha simply by installing the Deity of the Lord within the home and serving the Deity according to the directions of the sastras‘. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 4.23.29) When we worship the Deity, when we offer all our food, when we share prasadam with our family, when we regularly invite devotees to come and when we serve them prasadam, have kirtana and discuss Krsna topics, our home is a sacred place.

To the degree that we see our asrama as a means to serve and please Krsna, it will be a facility for advancing in Krsna consciousness. To the degree that we desire material satis-faction, household life will distract us from Krsna consciousness. ‘Generally a person cannot make much advancement in spiritual consciousness if he is married. He becomes attached to his family and is prone to sense gratification. Thus his spiritual advancement is very slow or almost nil’. (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Antya-lila, 13.112) Whether our marriage helps or hinders is a question of consciousness; in other words, it is up to us.

A Krsna conscious marriage is meant to bring us into greater alignment with our spiritual nature. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu advised the householder Kurma, ‘Remain at home and chant the holy name of Krsna always. Instruct everyone to follow the orders of Lord Sri Krsna as they are given in theBhagavad-gita and Srimad-Bhagavatam … If you follow this instruction, your materialistic life at home will not obstruct your spiritual advancement. Indeed, if you follow these regulative principles, we will again meet here, or, rather, you will never lose My company’. Srila Prabhupada comments:

Many people come and inquire whether they have to give up family life to join the Society, but that is not our mission. One can remain comfortably in his residence. We simply request everyone to chant the maha-mantra: Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. If one is a little literate and can read Bhagavad-gita As It Is and Srimad-Bhagavatam that is so much the better. If a devotee follows the instructions of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, he lives in the company of the Lord. Wherever he lives, he converts that place into Vrndavana and Navadvipa. This means that materialism cannot touch him. This is the secret of success for one advancing in Krsna consciousness. (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila, 7.128-9)

Similarly, when a grhastha resident of Kulina-grama asked Lord Caitanya, ‘My Lord, kindly tell me what my duty is and how I should execute it’. The Lord replied, ‘You should engage yourself in the service of the servants of Krsna and always chant the holy name of Krsna. If you do these two things, you will very soon attain shelter at Krsna’s lotus feet. (Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila, 16.69-70)

Conclusion

‘In a restaurant or place for drinking cold water, many travellers are brought together, and after drinking water they continue to their respective destinations. Similarly, living entities join together in a family, and later, as a result of their own actions, they are led apart to their destinations’. (Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.2.21) Srila Prabhupada remarks, ‘In the material world a so-called family is a combination of several persons in one home to fulfil the terms of their imprisonment. As criminal prisoners scatter as soon as their terms are over and they are released, all of us who have temporarily assembled as family members will continue to our respective destinations’.

By Srila Prabhupada’s grace, may Lord Sri Krsna’s philosophy be our solace, our guide, and a source of enduring strength, patience and determination. As much as we take Srila Prabhupada’s words into our hearts and realise them, that much will our present and future circumstances improve, for it is our consciousness that determines the states of being we shall attain.

Each of us is inconceivably fortunate because Krsna, our best friend, is on our side; He wants us with Him. That we are not with Him is due only to our causeless unwillingness. May our service to the Lord as a husband or a wife eradicate that causeless unwillingness.