RECEIVED an e-newsletter the other day from those nice people at Command Publicity. They’re the folk who keep you up-to-date with all that is going on in Ransomes Jacobsen world.

One of the sections of the newsletter was titled ‘Have you got the winning tackle?’ So, thinking that this must be some reference to the World Cup and RJ equipment, I clicked on the link.

World Cup related yes; RJ? Err no! It was in fact a campaign running

throughout the World Cup to raise awareness of, and encouraging, men to find out more about having a vasectomy! www.cmmd.co.uk if you really need to know more about the campaign! So now, at least, there’s one PR agency that can be rightly accused of talking a load of bollocks!

Not troubling the scorers!

A cricket team which lost without anyone scoring a run is blaming a ‘dodgy wicket’ for its failure. Statisticians are checking the record books to see if Goldsborough 2nd XI’s dismal performance against local rivals Dishforth is the worst ever recorded. Goldsborough scored a total of just five in their Nidderdale Amateur League clash at Dishforth, North Yorkshire.

But all the runs were extras and none of the batsmen troubled the scorers - with 10 ducks and a nought not out.

Goldsborough CC’s chairman, Henry Webster, defended his team saying the wicket was terrible and pointing out that the league-topping opposition also struggled. “It was a very, very dodgy wicket” he said.

Taken as red!

WHY use one word when ten will suffice! Yep, our Laurence has been at it again. Here’s the latest collection of Laurencisms. Bless him!

“

It may be a good idea to spit your watering cycles applying in two doses.

Of all the attractions, the one that always attracts the most interest is nearly always the food and drinks stand.

I have a sceptical perception. We'll get it from both necks. ... having the inability to absorb water.

a caring company whose aims are to persevere the integrity and sustainability of the countryside.

... continuing to invest in R&D research and development programmes.

Long gone are the days of having to spend 3-4 days hand devoting

... run their machines collectively together on one of the greens.

... some minor scaring issues

”

“When Dishforth came in to bat, they only needed six but they were nought for two at one point - and we dropped two catches as well! It could have been nought for four.” Mr Webster said there were a number of youngsters in the side and he hoped the experience would be “character-building”. He went on: “This team were 210-2 a few weeks ago. They can bat. One of the players hit 109 not out. They really are not that bad.”

“It’s not something we’re proud of but we have to look on the funny side of it.”

Best bowling came from Dishforth’s Gavin Hardisty who returned figures of 7-0 off 5.5 overs including 5 maidens! I wonder if they had teas between innings?

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