Some people are perfectionists. I have a little of that. As a result, I beat myself in the head with thoughts having to do with self improvement and practice makes perfect and try again until it’s right and so on.

Because of this tendency I find that I can easily go to extremes. About losing weight, I have a hard time keeping reasonable thinking like, “I want to lose 5 pounds.” Instead it’s “I want to be thin like I was at age 10”. Or instead of thinking “I need to eat more vegetables” I may think, “I’m going to eat nothing but vegetables from now on until the end of time”.

I don’t actually stick to those extremes thank goodness, but it’s a nagging tendency that isn’t healthy and certainly not comfortable.

Something I learned at IIN, where I graduated recently, was to sometimes “be bad”. Not go-to-jail bad, but stop-striving-for-unobtainable-perfection bad.

So I’ve found that when I get wrapped up in thinking that I will never eat another bite of anything unhealthy again, I plan for a night with a little ice cream.

Or recently, I got myself some clove cigars that I really like and have one when I’m feeling like all the “right” choices are kind of stifling me with boredom.

It’s hard to try to be “good” or “compliant” all the time and with pretty well managed diabetes, that’s what it feels like. I mean, I give insulin to bring down a 130. To me, that kind of control is worth it, I truly believe so, but to balance all that I sometimes sleep in my makeup, smoke the occasional cigar, skip a shower, or read the Fifty Shades Trilogy (yes, I read that marvelous piece of literary crap. In three days. My world stopped for a week. Don’t worry about me I’ve recovered. Team Matt Bomer!).

Being “bad” reminds me to chill. It also makes me realize that if my idea of being bad is sleeping in my makeup, then I think I’m going to be ok.

“What makes a bad diabetic?” was a search term that someone entered in order to land on this website. When I saw it, several questions popped up in my mind. First, who asked that question? Was it a person with diabetes? Or even worse, was it a healthcare professional? Was it a diabetic’s loved one or acquaintance?

I’d like to answer this question today. Of course, it’s my opinion, but it’s also my blog, so here goes:

What makes a bad diabetic? Bad is one of those ambiguous and overly used and general words that doesn’t do well to describe anything anymore. But, I know that being termed a “bad diabetic” is a negative and unwanted thing. Society thinks of a “bad person” as someone who makes decisions that impact themselves or others negatively based on negative intentions. Because someone who makes decisions that impact themselves or others negatively while having positive intentions would be all of us at some point or other. And I think that’s called being human.

So how can there even exist a bad diabetic? How is it possible? What about someone who has all the intention in the world to purposefully hurt themselves or others? I would call that crazy. I mean literally, this type of person is not well. They are sick, mentally sick. Because no on wants to have high blood sugars and feel ill and die young. No one who is well in their mind.

I hope medical personnel never refer to a person as a bad diabetic (I’m sure some do though). It’s a very ignorant thing to do. I mean, we might as well assume we’re all bad then because we all sometimes make decisions that hurt us and others. Who’s exempt? I hear crickets…

So to the soul who typed in “what makes a bad diabetic?” into their search engine, if you have diabetes please know that if you think you may be a “bad diabetic” I believe that you are just struggling and in need of support, information, and hope. Seek help. If a medical practitioner asked the question, I hope I’ve answered it for you and helped you think a bit differently about it. And if a loved one or acquaintance of a diabetic asked the question, please support this person and not judge them. It’s one thing to tell someone you notice they aren’t taking care of themselves and to offer them help and it’s another to say they are “bad”.