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Author
Topic: I'm in a band! A real one this time! (Read 8784 times)

Unlike all those fake bands I was in... like Teabag and the Hos... and Johnny Fuck and the Fuck Fucks... and Damaged Goods... and Stack!! (known for the hit single "Put Your Back Into That Stack!! Like You're On Crack!"). This one is actually a real bona fide band and everything.

The Naked Maids. We're kind of no wave and experimental.

I play the organ and keyboard. My friend Jim plays the guitar and is probably gonna do the vocals... and my best friend Jennie (who is married to Jim) is gonna play the bass and make awesome band flyers. We started doing some music stuff in Charleston and will be really getting into it when they move in Richmond in April.

And my name in the band is Savage Trainface Blowmaster. I am greatly looking forward to this.

We already have the songs "Johnny Mathis and Brandy," "Two O'Clock Drunk," "Pissing on a Rainbow," and "I Do It for the Kicks" in the works.

OMG..Where the hell did you come up with those names? Are you a punk group? And can I just call you STB? It's easier to remember... Hmm, Pissing on a Rainbow...Do you think of these things while in a coke or acid haze? J/K....How about this one, Shitting on a Cloud....sorry, couldn't resist, just smoked a doobie....Congrats on the new band...

He likes me, he really really likes me.... ...I was just trying to be funny, you know me...But will take full credit for the name...You know how you can pay me....*wink wink*....It's green and weighs about a pound...lmao...

He likes me, he really really likes me.... ...I was just trying to be funny, you know me...But will take full credit for the name...You know how you can pay me....*wink wink*....It's green and weighs about a pound...lmao...

"Thank you Queen Akasha for selling the intellectual rights to the name 'Shitting on a Cloud' for weed!"

It'll be great... everyone will want to know who you are... but I won't tell...

(And don't forget that the AAI Forum is a gold mine for song and album titles! Toothy BJ in India, Mutual Masturbation Paranoia....do I need to go on?)

I have to ask: how did you arrive at Savage Trainface Blowmaster?

Dude... seriously... everyone in our band has an STD. I'm poz... and they both have herpes. No joke. I'll bet "Three Thrusts Unprotected" or "Toothy BJ in India" would rule.

OK... the names are something of a story... Jim is Pretzel Boy (because... well... I don't know why), Jennie is Chesty Morgan (because she has no boobs at all), and I was gonna be Trainface (because I'm the most attractive member of the band)... but then when I managed to find coke for everyone in Charleston, I became Trainface Blowmaster. Then, I added the Savage to the beginning... because I'm the biggest pussy in the band.

It all makes sense. Yes.

Edited to Add: The Blowmaster also has the added function of describing my skills at certain oral activities.

I was in one in Madison - 2 basses (one rhythm and me on effects bass) 1 effects guitar and one chanting/moaning guy who wrote strange things as a cab driver, graveyard shift, parked under lone street lights

we variously called ourselves The Guys From The Grassy Knoll, Zen Archer, Ummu Guyama and a few other things every time we played.

our first gig was live onstage at an open mic, I had never met the other bass player before but I knew the guitar player couldn't play 3 chords to save his life and when we took over the stage I grabbed the mic and said anybody with any lyrics was welcome to jump up onstage and help us out!

I have a recording done on the house board from that first night; about 20 minutes of weird Doors meets Pink Floyd with none of us having any clue what the others were playing, everyone just jumping in with both feet, eyes closed, and ready for anything. I was playing my bass with 2 slides, mounting ever higher loops while the whole stage was rumbling from feedback.

finally at the end of our song you can hear the 6 or so people in the bar clapping. Its kind of funny.

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Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?-Roger Waters

I am a hippie!! Half of my tee shirts (the only kind of shirt I wear) are day-glo tie-dyed. Even though at my current size I stand out like a small flashing planet from 50 yards I still insist on wearing them. For me tie dying never went out of style.

Maybe your band can play a psychedelic tune or 2 like some old Beatles or the Dandy Warhols or Brian Jonestown Massacre -- and you've got to cover one or more B52s songs -- it's time to bring back the 60s and 70s!!

Tune in, turn on, drop out. Save our planet.

Boo

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String up every aristocrat!Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!

not only am I, too, a Hippy, I am also a DeadHead and sometimes Rainbow

I don't panhandle though, I always had some kind of racket or another going: for a couple years I mined quartz crystals in Arkansas, for awhile I sold my ceramic hand drums, these days I sell lots of dildo harnesses and butt plug harnesses and slings

I'm listening to Meddle right now (if you don't know it, you are *not* a hippie!)

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Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?-Roger Waters

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Ahh always good to see a fan of the pipettes. Good luck with the band as well I tried to start a band with a few mates once until we all realised that no one could actually play any instrument with any degree of competency!

I'll come up to Philly with a brick of weed for you and some coke for me. We'll be up all night... playing video games and drinking cheap champagne!

Hey! You're going the wrong way Au. I live 7 hours away from Philly in a little town called Erie. But if you're gonna stop in Philly, go see Philly and give him a hug for me. No champagne for me but you can grab a bottle of Arbor Mist, Whitel Zinfadel. I love that. As far as the video games, I usually play, RPGs which are one player. May I suggest you bring your own system...

Pete Doherty is a scumbag he tried to sell crack to one of my friends. He hasn't produced anything that resembles music for the last 2 years as well!

I seriously think he's hot. I'm not kidding.

Edited to Add: My friend and I smoked crack one night... we were supposed to get coke... but she made a teensy error, and we ended up with crack. We smoked like $100 of it in one night. That's a rather ridiculous amount of crack, my friend. And we listened to "Into Outer Space With Lucia Pamela" on a loop for a couple hours.

We have sworn to never smoke crack ever again.

That said... I'd totally do it with Pete Doherty... because if "Into Outer Space With Lucia Pamela" is the best album ever on that drug... then I can totally convince him to duke me out.

Time for Heroes is definately the best song on that album the lyrics are amazing:

did you see the stylish kids in the riotwe were shovelled up like muckset the night on firewombles bleed truncheons and shieldsyou know i cherish you my love

but there's a rumour spread nasty disease around towncaught round the houses with your trousers downa headrush in the bushyou know i cherish you my lovehow i cherish you my love

what can you want now you've got it allshe says it's obscenetime will strip it awaya year and a dayand bill bonesbill bones he knows what i mean

yes it's eating no it's chewing me upit's not right for young lungs to be coughing up bloodoh it's allit's all in my handsand its all up the walls

the stale chips are up and the hopes stakes are downit's these ignorant faces that bring this town downyeah i sighed and sunken with prideyou know passed myself down on my kneesyes i passed myself down on my knees

what can you want now you've got it allshe says it's obscenetime will strip it awaya year and a dayand bill bones, he knows what i mean

there are fewer more distressing sights than thatof an englishman in a baseball capyeah we'll die in the class we were bornthat's a class of our own my lovewe're in a class of our own my love

did you see the stylish kids in the riotwe were shovelled up like muckthen set the night on firewombles bleed truncheons and shieldsyou know i cherish you my loveoh how i cherish you my love

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts