Paradise Hotel: 9/10 Episode - The Good, The Bad, and The Down Right Nasty

Hi ya’ll! In the spirit of team work, I volunteered to help out with recapping duties this week since a lot of the writers were unable to recap this show. I was reluctant because writing is not my forte, and AmandaG is a tough act to follow. I should also warn you that this is the first time I watch this show, AND this is the second time EVER that I recap an entire show, so please bear with me.

Anyway, let’s get this show on the road. The show starts with clips of the previously evicted guests who have returned to unleash their vengeance upon those that ousted them. I'm amazed watching for the first time how these immature morons hackle and torment DCKT. It kind of makes my stomach turn. Even if they were wronged as they claimed, their vicious behavior is down right nasty.

The Return of Two Snakes
Two of the previously eliminated snakes...err... guests, Beau and Melanie, were voted back into the hotel by the others. Now that she’s back, Melanie expresses to Desiree that since Dave didn't vote for her, she has no reason to be nice to him. What a charming girl! Beau, Melanie, Tom, Amy, and Desiree
congregate at someone’s room and declare that they are now in the game. Umm...excuse me, but what the heck were they doing since the beginning of the show. Melanie says that in order to get ahead in the game they will have to act like the “Barbies”, but Amy doesn’t want to stoop to their level. I don’t think she’s got anything to worry about. From the clips I've seen and from what I’ve read on the recaps, it seems she’s already scraping the floor.

Back at her room, Charla tells Tara that she can't believe that Amy is calling her a fake just because she has outwitted them all. It’s not her fault that her man, Zach, went around kissing everyone and their mother.

Rooming with the Enemy
It’s time for the roommate selection, and Amanda, the host, informs the guests that there will be no elimination tonight. However, one of the ladies will be the vulnerable outsider. Don't know if his is something new or not, but this could be interesting. The two new guests, Beau and Melanie, will make their selections first, and none of the other guests can challenge their picks.

Beau selects his ‘best friend’s girl”, Amy. She prances over like a gazelle, and says something in a chipmunk voice. I hope she doesn’t think that her baby talk is sexy because it’s more annoying than nails on a chalkboard. Melanie strategizes and decides to pick Keith. Her plan to eliminate Charla and Tara is
well underway. Holly selects Scott. Amanda blurts out that Tom and his monkey must be doing something right since Desiree picks him once again. It’s down to Tara and Charla. In a friendly gesture, Tara decides to pick Tom, so that she Charla can end up with Dave. Thanks to Tara, Charla can room with her "best friend".

Since Tom was picked by two girls, he must now choose either Desiree or Tara as his roommate. Sherlock figures that the vulnerable outsider will get some kind of power, so he picks Tara, and leaves his most trusted friend, Desiree, to room alone in the black room.

No Rest For the Wicked
Once at the room, Beau goes on and on about how they will oust Keith, Charla, Dave, and Tara, and how he’s building an army and is going in for the attack. Amy says there is a major battle going on. “The way I see it. It’s good Vs evil.” O-Kay! You go with that if that helps you sleep better at night. If she thinks she's on "Good" side, then where do I sign up to join the "Evil" side. We are then treated to a few clips of the how “good” they really are. This is actually amusing. I'm loving the clips. This is my first show, and I'm already caught up.

The next morning, everyone gathers for breakfast. Dave sits at the table with the some of the “good” kids, and announces that he wants to be able to hang out with everyone, so it’s best if they talk behind his back instead of spitting it on his face.

Amy doesn’t understand his logic. No surprise there! Desiree, on the other hand, says she understands where Dave is coming from since she’s figured out in two seconds that Dave is a fake. Wow! Call the FBI! They might be need a case solved in two seconds. Dave and Desiree continue arguing, and Desiree
knowing that her argument holds no water utters that she’s sick of the arguing. Dave says if she’s sick of arguing, she can leave the table. This doesn’t sit well with sister girl, and she goes off on a tangent. Something about, “Who are You? My father?”. I expected Dave to say, “yeah, I'm your Daddy?”. Desiree is so riled up that she has no clue what she is saying, so she shuts up. Thank God! I loved how Dave kept his cool throughout this unpleasantness.

Wild Beasts Unleashed
The group is invited to a jungle-themed party, and everyone gets to choose the fabric for their costume. The others already think that Charla is a snake, so she decides to use the snake fabric for her costume just to show the others what a sport she is. Tarzan Boy, Tom, comes down the steps on all four with monkey hanging on the back of his loin. He even goes as far as drinking from a bowl on the floor. Tom must be hoping that producers for a Tarzan remake will catch his riveting performance. I think the monkey will get the job. There is dancing, drum playing, drinking, and limbo. Then Amy shouts that she wants to roast the pig and glances over at Keith. If looks could kill, Keith would’ve roasted Amy in a blink of an eye. Miss “Look-At-Me” ends up in the pool with Beau. I don’t know if she was drunk or she was just stupid, but Amy decides to stand on Beau’s shoulders and take a dive into what looks like a 3 foot pool. Luckily, she only suffers an ‘abrasion’. Amy, just shake your head and let me hear it rattle. (**brain rattling**) Nothing to worry about folks. She's okay.

Everything seems to be going fine, but Charla decides to call it a night, and that’s when things start getting nasty again. As Charla is leaving, Amy mouths out that it sucks that Charla stayed, and not Melanie. Melanie pipes in something about, “Everyone knows where I stand”. Charla decides to let the beasts be, and goes to her room. The pack of wild beasts simultaneously erupt into laughter.

Charla agonizes about the torment she’s just experienced, and love-stricken Dave comes to console her. A clip of Dave pouring his heart out about how he’s fallen for a girl that is not available, at least to him. My heart ached for him, but if you ask me, the boy needs to snap out of it.

Virtual Love
Once they get back to their room, Scott and Holly have a little lovers spat when Scott says that she is one of the biggest flirts he’s ever known. Holly doesn’t take this very well, and Scott says he was only joking. Riiiight!! Holly rants loudly that god forbid Scott ever do something to make himself look bad. To which Scott replies, “ it’s too late because both of us look like idiots”. Just between you and me, she is the only one that looks like an idiot. Anyway, Holly continues with her “real life” discussion, and Scott wants no part of it. She tells Scott he can forget about her after the show is over, and Scott said he will. Awww...the little dingdong thought that her relationship with Scott was for real. How sweet....Not!

The Snake Whisperer
The next day, the waiter brings a letter to the both tables. Since Amy and Scott opened the letters, they get to pick two individuals of the opposite sex to join them on a Boat Excursion . Scott wonders out loud who he should pick. Dave jumps at the chance to get in his two cents. He asks Scott if he wants to discuss it because he has an idea on who he should pick. Beau accuses Dave of being a sneaky bastard for whispering in Scott’s ear. Dave states the obvious. If he was trying to be sneaky, he wouldn’t have had this conversation right in front of Beau so that both Tom and Beau could hear them. Scott is uncomfortable with the childish arguing, but instead of stepping in, he decides to walk away leaving Beau and Dave arguing. It's clear to me that Scott is playing both sides.

The Venom Boat
Beau, Amy, Tom, Desiree, Scott, and Holly are off to their excursion at the sea. Once at sea, Amy starts acting dancing like a duck getting a seizure. They seem to be having a grand time, but then the discussion turns to their favorite subject. Tearing down the foursome. Desiree asks about 10 times, “So is Dave in Love with Charla?” Girl, what happened to your case-solving skills? I guess it was a one-time fluke. No FBI career in her future. Holly brings up that Tara is a bigger threat than Charla, so they should keep an eye on her.

The waiter brings an envelope that says each one should write a question they would like answered at a game called Pandora’s Box by the guest of their choice. They all get giddy at the notion of belittling DCKT with their questions. Amy says that Tara is a cold-hearted *itch. That could be true. I don’t know. But, I wished Amy would take a good look at herself in the mirror.

Back at the hotel, Dave, Charla, Tara, Keith, and Melanie enjoy a quiet breakfast for a change. They are also have to write their questions and put them in Pandora’s Box before dinner. When he’s alone with Tara, Keith says that he hopes never to see Amy’s face again. Ever! As long as he lives! Yeah, neither do I, and I’ve only seen her one day.

Truth Be Told
It’s time to play the game of Pandora’s Box, where the truth should be told. Scott is asked who he would pick if it came down to Holly or Melanie. He hesitates a bit, but says he picks Holly because he’s spend more time with her. Holly, I don’t think you should order the monogram towels just yet. Tara is asked if she’s glad that Beau is back. She say’s yeah she’s glad that he’s back. She voted for Andon to give him a chance, and because Beau seemed a little bitter. Beau say’s he is not bitter at all. We’re shown clips of Beau acting all psychotic after he came back. So much for telling the truth.

Holly is asked if it’s true that she was jealous that Scott was spending more time with Melanie. Nervously, she answers that she trusts Scott, and that she would never be jealous of anyone that Scott talked to. Clips of Holly throwing her jealousy tantrums after Scott spends too much time with the new guests.

Holly snickers as she reads the question for Charla. She is asked why she thinks she deserves to be here after crying and saying she couldn’t stand it anymore. Beau smirks. Desiree salivates like a rabid skunk at the thought of Charla breaking down. To their dismay, she keeps her composure and gives them a farily good answer. She never said she deserves to be here, and she cries all the time because she misses her loved ones. Besides, she’s watched other people cry too who also said they didn’t want to be here.

It pains Keith to ask his friend, Dave the question set for him. He’s asked when he will become a real man and stop talking behind people’s back. Very confident of himself, Dave says he’s a real man now, and that he will continue being himself whether the others like it or not. Take that you slimeballs!

Charla reads the question for Amy which asks how she feels that Tara thinks Amy is jealous of her. Charla comes to Tara’s defense, and states that she’s never heard Tara say that. Amy says that it’s funny because she’s heard that. Really? Was it when you were reading it out loud as you wrote it? Amy turns to Tara and gives her a pretty ridiculous answer. “I have overcome, achieved, and accomplished so many things already in my life at 21 than you ever will in your whole entire life. And you know what...I have so many things to be thankful for in life and in my future to be jealous of you. Because I have everything that you have and more!.” I don’t see how Tara can keep a straight face, but Tom can barely maintain his. Is that the best answer she could come up with? Listing one accomplishment would’ve been better than babbling some idiotic nonsense. Kids, this could happen to you. Try to pay attention in school.

Look Ma, I’m a Reality TV Star
After the game, Keith and Tara can’t help but laugh at Amy’s absurd answer. What great accomplishment has Amy achieved? Tara laughs it up, and says “we’re both on a reality TV show”. That must be as good as it gets for Amy. Tara thinks that Amy is jealous of her because Zach, Amy’s man-child, had the hots for her.

Somewhere else in the hotel, Amy tries to convince the others that she is not jealous of Tara. She says that one of the worst qualities in a human being is jealousy. Here comes the clips to discredit her sermons. The clips show Zach fawning over Tara, and Amy having a conniption. Okay, I’m exaggerating about the conniption, but she definitely showed signs of jealousy.

Dave, Charla, Tara, and Keith have been knocked back down to the bottom of the food chain, and Keith predicts that Tara will probably be gone tomorrow, and then he’ll follow. Tara thanks him for the reassurance. That Keith. He is such an optimist.

Will Evil triumph over Good? Will Amy dive into the 3 foot pool again? Find out next week when Duckgirl brings you all the nitty gritty details of the eliminations.

Melanie says that in order to get ahead in the game they will have to act like the “Barbies”, but Amy doesn’t want to stoop to their level. I don’t think she’s got anything to worry about. From the clips I've seen and from what I’ve read on the recaps, it seems she’s already scraping the floor.

Amy says there is a major battle going on. “The way I see it. It’s good Vs evil.” O-Kay! You go with that if that helps you sleep better at night. If she thinks she's on "Good" side, then where do I sign up to join the "Evil" side.

Amy doesn’t understand his logic. No surprise there!

Desiree asks about 10 times, “So is Dave in Love with Charla?” Girl, what happened to your case-solving skills? I guess it was a one-time fluke. No FBI career in her future.

Wolf, I think you did a fabulous job! I hope this won't be a one-shot deal for you!

Welcome to the mud pit, Wolf! Thanks for such a spanky recap! I always like when recappers keep the text broken up into small paragraphs (probably because I have the attention span of a gnat) and you hit it just right!