Orgasm

Girls tend to discover orgasm on their own. Nearly 60 percent of orgasmic women figured it out by themselves — some as early as two years old, many in puberty, many later on. Boys generally find out from other boys, usually friends — only 25 percent discover coming on their own.

Not everyone can orgasm easily. About 10 percent of women have never had an orgasm. Fewer men fit in this category. In one large study of men, 8 percent said they had a problem with orgasms in the previous year — though it’s not clear whether that’s distress or inability. For both sexes, orgasm is a learned behavior, and so orgasm problems can be fixed by relearning. Sex clinicians who use counseling and masturbation therapy say nearly all women can learn to come. For women, the reliable way is clitoral stimulation — only about half can come during intercourse, even after relearning. Sigmund was debunked long ago — clitoral stimulation is normal, vaginal orgasm great but not standard-issue.