The reason that I started thinking about this is because of all the writing I’ve been doing recently. Because I’m putting my work into the public domain, I need to constantly think about and then revise sentences and statements before finally allowing them to be seen. In effect, I have a ‘rewind’ button.

One of the worlds greatest philosophers once made this classic observation –

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. – David Beckham

Pondering more, it’s not just the spoken word. The internet is crammed with examples of the classic text or email sent without thinking. (I don’t include auto-correct mistakes here, they can be justified)

Instead, I refer more to the ones that contain statements like ‘Isn’t (Insert name) a t**t!’ sent to the company distribution list or the ‘Can’t wait to **** your ****** tonight!’ sent to the wife instead of the mistress….

The media is currently full of the news that someone has hacked the Ashley Madison website (where people wanting to have an affair can look for willing participants) and is now threatening to publish the details. Oh how I wonder how much those people wished they hadn’t slipped their bullet into that chamber!

Does make me giggle. 37,890,000 ‘anonymous’ members all shaking in their shoes waiting for the axe to fall.

Does this make me a fascist or put me at risk of being radicalised? I would prefer to think not. IMHO I’m intelligent and moral enough to be able to resist being swayed by others beliefs or ideologies.

So why to I subject myself to text that may make me sick to the stomach?

Knowledge is power. – Sir Francis Bacon .

How can you fight what you don’t know exists? Is it enough to simply ignore the distasteful or is it better and wiser to turn the stone and see what lies beneath it now matter how slimy it may be.

For me it’s the latter but then again I have quite a strong stomach.

My daughter is severely disabled (blind and autistic) and therefore vulnerable. The pressure to ignore the possibility of a carer being a paedophile is very strong. However, I won’t avoid reading about the disgusting motivations and behaviour of these people (and what they do to disguise it) because I believe that if I’m informed then I stand a better chance of spotting a possible risk.

So, write what you want but don’t be fooled that thinking only people of a like mind will read it.

Like this:

Sometimes there’s no explanation for why a bad mood afflicts you from the first second you open your eyes. Maybe you had a restless nights sleep and didn’t get fully rested, possibly you had a disturbing dream that stayed with you?

Whilst discussing this situation this morning (I’m in an absolutely vile mood by the way), my partner told me of how she didn’t speak to an ex-boyfriend for TWO days because she dreamt that he had an affair.

Have you ever physically attacked the person you share a bed with in your sleep? I’ve hit, kicked and even attempted to strangle monsters, muggers and terrorists only waking to find an extremely unhappy bed-mate the next day. (I don’t get breakfast in bed those days I can tell you!)

Often the prospect of having to tackle an unpleasant task that day will downgrade your demeanour. Or if you’re nervous about a big event, a job interview perhaps? – which is ironic because that’s the one time you have to appear pleasant – unless you’re applying for a job as an enforcer for a gang-land boss or maybe a pantomime villain?

What can you do to alleviate this negative behaviour? A lot of the time absolutely nothing will help and you just have to wait until the grumpiness dissipates. Food can help. Some people have to be left every morning until they’ve had their first cup of coffee and a cigarette before even saying a polite ‘Good Morning’ to them. I’ve learnt my lesson with that one and keep ‘my trap shut’ for at least half an hour (sometimes more) every day…

I attended an NLP course many years ago (Tony Robbins – Unleash The Power if you’re interested) and was taught this technique. When you roll out of your pit, you should immediately stand up straight, cross your arms across your chest then fling them out as far as you can, at the same time shouting ‘YES!’. Repeat three times, each time increasing the volume of your shout. – WARNING – If you’re staying with your parents you may get strange looks at the breakfast table as they’ll suspect you’ve been having vigorous sex under ‘their’ roof…

Does it work? Sometimes. I’ll tell one thing for sure . It doesn’t half piss off your neighbours. Now THAT puts me in a good mood. 😉

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Worldwide austerity has placed many of us in tricky situations. It’s no longer unusual for many to miss payments on debts owing. Credit cards, bank & payday loans, electricity, gas, water, insurance, car leases, mortgages… The list is endless…

Do you dread the ‘red’ envelopes arriving?

Your full balance is now owing. We may/will pass your account to a debt collection agency. We’re sending the bailiffs…

If you end up in this situation then a knock on the door becomes an event that gets your heart racing. You sweat, you tremble, switch off the TV and lights and hide behind the sofa like you did as a child when Dr Who came on.

Of course a lot of people can cope with financial dire straits. Able to pick up the phone, they will contact the organisations they owe money to and negotiate a repayment plan or get a hiatus until they can afford to settle the debt in full.

But many simply cannot bring themselves to do this. If suffering from depression and/or anxiety then they will take the ostrich option and stick their heads in the sand whilst an envelope ‘mountain’ grows daily in the kitchen drawer or on the living room table. Some will throw them under the bed which will affect their sleep because they now have a literal ‘bogeyman’ under there and this one is real.

There are solutions available. advocates and Citizen Advice Bureaus will make calls for you and help consolidate debts into affordable payments but many are too scared and/or proud to contact them.

Instead, they may prefer to seek temporary solutions like the ubiquitous ‘Payday Loans’ available from, I’m going to say it, bastards like Wonga. They’re, to me, a scourge on modern-day society. They literally are vultures, preying on the weak and vulnerable.

It’s horrible, and a damning indictment of the times we live in, that people become so scared of their financial predicament that they are afraid to open the door or pick up their phone. If caller ID shows ‘unknown’ or even worse, ‘withheld Number’, then forget it.

What to do? unfortunately I have no solutions other than those mentioned and can only hope that people can find the strength or a friend to be able to deal with the problem.

There is a bright side – you can always ask the Jehovah’s Witnesses to open your letters and make the calls for you. After all, they want to help you?

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It’s fine when others say that you’re a great person, or talented, or funny or just generally fantastic.

So why not when you say it yourself?

This behaviour is generally frowned upon. You shouldn’t ‘Blow your own trumpet’, don’t be a such a ‘big head’.

Even God disapproves – ‘The meek shall inherit the earth’.

The one time we are encouraged to ‘big ourselves up’ is the job interview. But many people will sit and squirm uncomfortably when that fatal question is asked – Why do you think you should get the job?

Do we find it so hard to extol our own virtues because we are told all our lives not to?

Constant exposure can help with getting yourself noticed. Unknown bands will take any gig going (even the crummiest of venues) just to get heard and on the off-chance an A&R man might be there. I try to blog daily so as many people as possible will see my work and to try and enhance my reputation and skill as a write. (Sorry, Writer!)

So, there is a case for self-promotion. You can’t rely on the winds of chance to blow fortune your way. If you don’t showcase your work and encourage others to notice it (and you personally) then you are doomed to failure (at least in your own lifetime). Many great writers and artists only had their genius and value recognised post-mortem but what good did it do them then?

Not everyone wants or needs their 15 minutes of fame or the accolades of their peers. Many are happy to live their lives in the shadows (sic) and never have to worry about ‘getting noticed’ or where they are in the charts or receiving an Emmy.

Acknowledgement of achievement or value is incredibly important to our development as people though. For some it’s a promotion or bonus or award. Our children also receive encouragement through ‘Gold Stars’ at kindergarten or primary school and will parade them proudly when home. These things encourage them to achieve more and work harder.

What do you want to be able to say you’re brilliant at? Being a good mother/father or do you secretly hope to win a Nobel Prize?

I used to want to be in a world famous band then crossover into acting and be in a blockbuster.

Now I’ve set my sights lower. I just want everyone to know I’m an accomplished writer and have a best-selling novel.

I’ve learnt to eat some humble pie and accept my lot in life….

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Just spent the last half an hour hanging my ear out of the back door listening to my neighbours having the mother of all arguments. (My partner was stood on the bed in the other room with her ear pressed to the ceiling…)

Why do we find others distress so enjoyable/interesting? Because we don’t have such drama in our own lives or does it just make us feel better?

I’ve had bucket-loads of drama in my life so I guess I must feel glad that it’s happening to someone else and not me.

Ever ‘rubber-necked’ on the motorway? Why? Worried that it might be someone you know?

Unlikely. On the motorway (or interstate) every other vehicle is more of an annoyance (like a buzzing fly) that is obstructing your way to the home/office/airport etc. and you probably couldn’t care less about who the drivers or passengers might be.

Is it possible to resist the temptation to poke our noses in? Should we?

Presumably some people do it to see if they can help or sort out an injustice. Perhaps our ‘superheroes’ are the ultimate ‘busybodies’ who make a career out of interfering. Instead of Spiderman, may be Peter Parker would have been better served adopting the moniker, ‘Nosey Parker’?

Many domestic fights are broken up by third parties only for them to find themselves being attacked by the partner that was on the receiving end of their spouses fist to start with. Sometimes it is better just to observe?

But even then you are likely to hear the immortal line – ‘What are you looking at?’ and have to turn away quickly or pretend to be extremely interested in the dry-cleaners behind them else risk becoming the subject of their wrath.

Anyway got to go. The partner has stormed out leaving the man with only the kids to shout at. Never heard such language from a seven-year old…