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Friday, April 28, 2006

AppetizerOn a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you? It depends. In the car probably about a 5. Not in the car about an 8.5 or 9. I believe in saying please, thank you, ma'am and sir, holding the doors for others and carrying heavy things for people who can't, etc., etc., etc. It's just the way I was raised. However, I do have a problem with interrupting others and I've been trying to work on that.

SoupWhat was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?These Jokes from a friend earlier in the week when I needed a pick-me-up:

THE LONELY LITTLE BRAIN CELL

Once upon a time, there was a female brain cell, which by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she said, but there was no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried out a little louder, but still no answer except the echo of her own voice.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and a little worried so she made a quick trip around the inside of the man's head. After finding nothing else in there she yelled at the top of her voice, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away.....

"We're all down here." ==================Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

Second one says,

"No, its Thursday!" Third one says,

"So am I. Let's go get a beer!!"==================A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulledhimself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath heordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis!!"==================A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. Itcost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

Main CourseTell about the funniest teacher you ever had.Hands down Fireman Fred Daughtry. He was my teacher in 7th and 8th grade at the private school I went to. I couldn't wait for his class every day. Not only b/c he was a good teacher, but he was a good teacher b/c he was able to put the information across in a way that was entertaining and made you remember it. I just love him. I ran across him last year when I was volunteering and working with the Katrina evacuee's from Louisiana and Missisippi. After teaching in the early 80's, he became a pastor and it was so good to see him and let him know how things were going and that I had a beautiful (almost) 4 year old. He is a good heart, a good person and a former fire chief - hence the nickname he had which was "Fireman Fred".

DessertComplete this sentence: I strongly believe that ______________________.I strongly believe in many things but there are two that I will talk about today.

1. I strongly believe that honesty is the best policy in every relationship. Lies create situations that become worse as time goes on, whereas the policy of being honest spares a lot of hurt for everyone involved right up front.

No relationship can be maintained or grow when lies are a part of it. Dishonesty breaks trust and no relationship can survive in an atmosphere of distrust. The way I see it, if someone lies to you about one thing, even if it is by keeping something from you, then what else have they lied to you about? As the lies snowball, the relationship weakens to the point of breaking and once that trust is broken, it is a Herculean task to repair it, and in some cases, it can never be repaired.

2. I strongly believe that abuse of any kind (physical, emotional, sexual, mental, etc.) is reprehensible, deplorable and never acceptable. Abuse is about bullying someone weaker than you. It’s about causing hurt and pain to those unable to defend themselves for whatever reason. Never, ever, ever, ever is abuse acceptable against anyone. Ever. It boils my blood when I hear about abuse, especially against the weakest ones of all that need our protection – children.

If I had my way, every single abuser would be subject to punishment IDENTICAL to what they have done to those who they abused. You sodomize a child and/or beat them – guess what, Big Bubba in the state penitentiary is going to be your roommate for the next, however many years. Let’s see how you like it. You starve a child then force them to eat rancid meat, drink a Clorox mixture, etc. – guess what your next meals are going to consist of – that is if you’re given anything to eat or drink? You whip a child, a woman, a man, an animal, guess what? Yup, you guess correctly, you’re the next one that whip will be applied to. I have no leniency with abusers at all. There is a special place in hell reserved for them – it is even said so by Jesus himself.

In Matthew 25:31-46, Jesus proclaims that how you treat the hungry, the thirsty, the sick and other "least of these," is how you treat Jesus himself. Jesus makes Himself the hungry one, the naked one, the homeless one, the unwanted one, and He says, "You did it to Me."

Matthew 25:34-40: [Jesus] ... will say to [the sheep] at his right hand, "Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me."

Matthew 25:41-43 Jesus goes on to say to the goats on his left hand: "You who are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me..."

Verse 46 then says: "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous (those in vs’s. 34-40) to eternal life."

Ok, so that should have been the main course portion and NOT the dessert portion, but it's whatever is on the menu as it's listed.================================Ok, now for the FFT

Ever wonder what your favorite magazine covers will look like in the future? Well now you can check it out! These are pretty neat. It was something that was done by the Magazine Industry.

Just click here to see what the magazine covers of the future will look like.

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. So, they decided to go see their doctor to get some help. Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctor's office very pleased with the advice.

When they got home, the wife said, "Honey, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don't you write that down so you won't forget?"

"Nonsense," said the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream!"

"Well," said the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you'll forget."

"Don't be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!"

"OK, dear, but I'd like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you'd really better write it down now. You'll forget," said the wife.

"Come now, my memory's not all that bad," said the husband. "No problem, a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream."

With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later.

Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, "Hey, where's the toast?"

Wow, that's a lot of talking over dinner. And while I think those who abuse need to face their consequences, we must never forget that grace is available even to the worst offenders (which is good news especially since many who abuse were abused themselves). Here from Michele's.

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have aproblem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say onething." "What do they say?" asked the priest. They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "Imay have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots,which I have taught to pray. Bring your two parrots over to my house,and we'll put them in the cage with Frank and Bob. My parrots can teachyour parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stopsaying that phrase ... in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. Ashe ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside theircage, holding rosary beads and praying. She walked over and placed herparrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison ...."Hi,we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at theother male parrot and exclaimed.... "Put the beads away, Frank. Ourprayers have been answered!"

About Me

SO much has changed in my life since I last blogged regularly in 2010. I'm 39 now, single and trying to be the best mom I can be as well as doing the best I can for my unbelievably precious daughter who’s now 11 and my beautiful, inquisitive little man who turned 3 in November. I'm learning to live again with joy and happiness and a new lease on life. God has really been working in my life and BIG changes are in the works and I'm incredibly excited about them!
One of the changes is becoming a distributor and advisor for AdvoCare. After seeing what it did for me on the 24 Day Challenge (lost 15 pounds and an overall total of 32.5") I was sold, not only from the external physical results, but the internal ones as well. I've never felt so good!
As the Gary Allan song goes, "Life ain’t always beautiful but it’s a beautiful ride". I hope to take you along on the ride through my life as it changes and as I continue to change. I hope you stay a while and enjoy yourselves and maybe learn a little about coping with unexpected circumstances in life with the help of God. Come back soon!