“Steven Seagal Lawman” is returning to A&E’s schedule in early January, so a word to the citizens of the greater Phoenix metropolitan area: Make sure your brake lights are functioning. Banished from Jefferson Parish after two “Lawman” seasons of babbling zen gibberish and lumbering pursuits of perps with his “guys” from the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office, Seagal relocated to the Phoenix area, where he signed on with attention-desperate Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

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The pair quickly made headlines by invading a suspected ****fighting training camp – Seagal arriving via tank – with A&E cameras rolling.
The suspect claimed that an 11-month-old puppy was shot in the process.
Responded Arpaio: “If my deputies—or posse man Seagal for that matter—had done something so awful like shooting a family dog, then where are the photos to prove it?”