PEOPLE: Want to know how they choose their cover stories? We could tell you from our own experiences, but we’ll let The New York Times do it for us. While they don’t exactly portray the mag in the best light, it is pretty accurate–which is an improvement from the article last winter.

Jon & Kate Plus 8: Not that we didn’t already know this, but a media firestorm can really drive up ratings. The Jon & Kate premiere more than doubled last year’s audience. Now let’s see if they can keep it–and their marriage.

Real Housewives: Planning another spin-off, this time in Washington, D.C. How many do we need? Aren’t they all the same after a while?

American Idol: Has there been a bigger upset in Idol history? We think not. And we totally blame all the pre-finale hoopla around Adam Lambert for his loss. The hype totally backfired on him!

Kanye West: Used his blog to declare “Justin is the new Mike, Beyonce’s the new Tina Turner [and] GaGa’s Madonna.” Kind of little soon to be making grand statements like that, no? Then again, this is Kanye West so…

Pete Wentz: Peeved at Gawker for including him, Ashlee Simpson and son Bronx, in their Stalker column. The result? “Hate mail” sent to Gawker on his behalf gives them another opportunity to make fun of him. Good work, Pete. But we suppose this tweet was Pete’s way of firing back again. To be continued?

Natalie Cole: The singer, who suffers from hepatitis C, had a kidney transplant this week. What would we do without organ donors?

Beyonce: Subject to a “hoax” yesterday when a recording surfaced–on the Howard Stern Show, no less–reportedly of B singing quite poorly. But her camp quickly denied it was real–and claimed it was great publicity!

Tom Cruise: Pays writers what for many of us would be a year’s salary just to retool scripts of movies he’s considering. Where do we sign up?

Elizabeth Banks: The Zack and Miri actress will star in “a workplace comedy” called “Forever 21” but no word yet if it’s related to the clothing store. Would be kind of weird if it isn’t, though, right?

Beauty & the Beast: Our favorite Disney movie is just the latest classic fairytale to be remade. HSM’s Vanessa Hudgens will star in a modern retelling simply named “Beastly.” Let’s hope it’s better than all the Cinderella re-dos.

David Cook: The reigning Idol will participate in a charity run benefiting brain cancer research. Cook has seen the devastating effects of the disease first-hand, as his brother is currently battling it. We wish them both the best of luck.

YouTube: Upping the ante in its battle against Hulu, the video-sharing site will increase its offering of free television shows.

Ashton Kutcher: At approximately 1:10am (central time), Kutcher became the first Twitter user to get a million followers. CNN, ever the good sport, was quick to admit its defeat. Good fun had by all. Now when does the unfollowing start?

Oprah: Caught the Twitter bug, too, and will dedicate today’s show to the subject.

SIZZLED OUT: Fantasia

STILL SIZZLING: Cameron Diaz shaves her head–or so it seems–in the trailer for this new movie based on a heartbreaking book.

Prison Break: Here’s some more info on the series’ end–it won’t all air on TV! The so-called finale is still on for May 15 but then there will be two additional episodes released on DVD. Thanks for digging into our pockets, guys.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles are as good as canceled. At least this frees up Brian Austin Green for 90210!

Twitter: Apparently there’s a “fight” going on between Ashton Kutcher and CNN’s Larry King on who will get to a million followers first. Don’t these people have work to do??

Variety: We understand that they’re traditionally a trade magazine (read: in print), but really have no idea why they would lay off one of the web editors. Pretty sure the web is the future of journalism. Just sayin’.

Alec Baldwin: Speaking of the industry’s future, Baldwin wrote a whole column on it for The Huffington Post. Why Baldwin? We’re still trying to figure that one out.

Condoleezza Rice: And it gets weirder: Rice is now a columnist for The Daily Beast and she’s writing about, of all things, her love of Tiger Woods. Random!

Obama: Love that the identity of his dog can’t even stay secret! The news was leaked by an anonymous site before The Washington Post, given rights to the story, could report it.

RENT: We had the opportunity to see our favorite musical this weekend for the sixth time! What made this performance so special? It starred Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal back in the roles they originated more than 10 years ago. And they were as amazing as ever!

Scott Peterson: Always was and always will be fascinated by the Laci/Scott Peterson case. Really glad to PEOPLE did an update on the story.

SIZZLED OUT: Beyonce and Jay-Z

STILL SIZZLING: This singer praised her Rihanna for being a “cool chick.” Did she kiss her, too?