what do dad's think of doulas?

Hello Dads,
Have any of you hired a doula in past pregnancies/births? What was your experience? My Hubs and I are going natural at a birthing center. The subject of doulas came up and just how much pressure they help take off of Daddy. He is very supportive of what I want and may potentially need. Any Daddy doula feedback? Thank you!

Hello Dads,
Have any of you hired a doula in past pregnancies/births? What was your experience? My Hubs and I are going natural at a birthing center. The subject of doulas came up and just how much pressure they help take off of Daddy. He is very supportive of what I want and may potentially need. Any Daddy doula feedback? Thank you!

My best friend was there to support hubby more than me! ( I hate being touched or anything during labour) it was great for him because she had had kids she was able to let him know what was going on ( was my second) if u don't have a close friend or relative a doula is perfect!

My best friend was there to support hubby more than me! ( I hate being touched or anything during labour) it was great for him because she had had kids she was able to let him know what was going on ( was my second) if u don't have a close friend or relative a doula is perfect!

My dh liked it. I had dh holding my hand, my Doula at my feet and the midwife delivering the baby. He liked that he could support me emotionally but had an extra set of hands to do/get whatever i/we needed. She also directed hospital staff to do what we wanted. It took the pressure off of him and let him focus on helping me. He said he would use a Doula again if we have another child. I liked having dh's undivided attention and support. Our Doula was free though. We're in Vancouver and our midwife clinic appoints a free one for all their clientel.

My dh liked it. I had dh holding my hand, my Doula at my feet and the midwife delivering the baby. He liked that he could support me emotionally but had an extra set of hands to do/get whatever i/we needed. She also directed hospital staff to do what we wanted. It took the pressure off of him and let him focus on helping me. He said he would use a Doula again if we have another child. I liked having dh's undivided attention and support. Our Doula was free though. We're in Vancouver and our midwife clinic appoints a free one for all their clientel.

With my first I wanted my mom to help since she had already given birth. But my hubs didn't like that at all. He was bummed he wasn't going to take center stage with my and the baby. A few hours into my labor I kicked my mom out (nicely) and it was just me and hubs and eventually the baby. I lived the closeness and the experience of having him here. No one else could have comforted me new or help me focus more on the end goal. So with the second I went only with him and again it was a wonderful. My hubs definitely was against anyone else helping out.

With my first I wanted my mom to help since she had already given birth. But my hubs didn't like that at all. He was bummed he wasn't going to take center stage with my and the baby. A few hours into my labor I kicked my mom out (nicely) and it was just me and hubs and eventually the baby. I lived the closeness and the experience of having him here. No one else could have comforted me new or help me focus more on the end goal. So with the second I went only with him and again it was a wonderful. My hubs definitely was against anyone else helping out.

I'm leaving it up to my wife. Â She does not want any of her family in the room, just us and the nurses/doctor. Â I've read a lot of good things about dula's and since we're both first timers it might be nice to have at least one support person in the room that knows what's going on. Â My wife also wants to do a med-free birth so having a person there to coordinate with the doctors and nurses might be nice.

Short answer: Â I don't mind, but it's her call if she wants one or not.

I'm leaving it up to my wife. Â She does not want any of her family in the room, just us and the nurses/doctor. Â I've read a lot of good things about dula's and since we're both first timers it might be nice to have at least one support person in the room that knows what's going on. Â My wife also wants to do a med-free birth so having a person there to coordinate with the doctors and nurses might be nice.

Short answer: Â I don't mind, but it's her call if she wants one or not.

Thank you for the feedback. We are going with the doula. My Husband thinks he will be able to focus on me more with her present. He is very supportive and I feel extremely lucky. He wants me to have anything I may need. I appreciate everyone's opinions, stories and feedback. Good luck with your pregnancies, pregnant s/o and children. Thanks!

Thank you for the feedback. We are going with the doula. My Husband thinks he will be able to focus on me more with her present. He is very supportive and I feel extremely lucky. He wants me to have anything I may need. I appreciate everyone's opinions, stories and feedback. Good luck with your pregnancies, pregnant s/o and children. Thanks!

My dh is glad we hired her. He wasn't sure at first because he didn't understand her role but as it's a requirement as a ftm to have a home birth, we had to get one.The things he likes about her: he knows I'll be less likely to saying no to exercising/changing positions when I don't want to because I don't have an emotional attachment to her. We don't mind our family be here during but if they get on our nerves she's in charge of herding them out. She'll fix us plates of food or stay with me while my dh needs a restroom break, take a call or whatever. She'll take our dogs out to potty for us. They can both apply pressure to my hips/lower back, one on each side that way I get pressure longer because they don't wear out so quickly. The biggest reason though is that if I have to go to the hospital and our boy has to go to the NICU, she'll stay with me so he can go with the baby.

My dh is glad we hired her. He wasn't sure at first because he didn't understand her role but as it's a requirement as a ftm to have a home birth, we had to get one.The things he likes about her: he knows I'll be less likely to saying no to exercising/changing positions when I don't want to because I don't have an emotional attachment to her. We don't mind our family be here during but if they get on our nerves she's in charge of herding them out. She'll fix us plates of food or stay with me while my dh needs a restroom break, take a call or whatever. She'll take our dogs out to potty for us. They can both apply pressure to my hips/lower back, one on each side that way I get pressure longer because they don't wear out so quickly. The biggest reason though is that if I have to go to the hospital and our boy has to go to the NICU, she'll stay with me so he can go with the baby.

A good doula will support both partners during labor & delivery, & many times can be there early on & provide postpartum support. They aren't there to replace the dads- they are there to help you support the mother. People who use doulas report higher satisfaction with their deliveries & fewer instances of postpartum depression. They are also great liaisons if you are having a hospital birth.

A good doula will support both partners during labor & delivery, & many times can be there early on & provide postpartum support. They aren't there to replace the dads- they are there to help you support the mother. People who use doulas report higher satisfaction with their deliveries & fewer instances of postpartum depression. They are also great liaisons if you are having a hospital birth.

My husband and I had a doula for our second son's birth. Â He was in AIT for the Army and scheduled to come home 5 days before my due date. Â My ob agreed to induce me the day he came home if I hadn't gone into labor before then. Â I hired a doula partly in case he missed the birth since that was extremely likely and partly to take some stress off him if he was there. Â It turned out that he made it there but this is what his day looked like:

DH was able to sleep in the hospital from about 5 pm until 9:30 and the doula did a lot of things that he admits he wouldn't have thought of. Â She had a birthing ball, tens unit, took me to the shower, and just really worked with me. Â She knew the hospital (he hadn't been with me at the tour so he didn't know where things were in the hospital) so she was able to get ice for me and other things I needed.

In our situation a doula was something to give us both piece of mind. Â DH just got a vasectomy because we are content with having our two boys but if we weren't done I'm pretty sure we'd hire another doula. Â W

My husband and I had a doula for our second son's birth. Â He was in AIT for the Army and scheduled to come home 5 days before my due date. Â My ob agreed to induce me the day he came home if I hadn't gone into labor before then. Â I hired a doula partly in case he missed the birth since that was extremely likely and partly to take some stress off him if he was there. Â It turned out that he made it there but this is what his day looked like:

DH was able to sleep in the hospital from about 5 pm until 9:30 and the doula did a lot of things that he admits he wouldn't have thought of. Â She had a birthing ball, tens unit, took me to the shower, and just really worked with me. Â She knew the hospital (he hadn't been with me at the tour so he didn't know where things were in the hospital) so she was able to get ice for me and other things I needed.

In our situation a doula was something to give us both piece of mind. Â DH just got a vasectomy because we are content with having our two boys but if we weren't done I'm pretty sure we'd hire another doula. Â W

I was in New Jersey. Â Doulas are so much more expensive there than other areas but I would think they are more popular too. Â I wouldn't have gotten one for my second child except for the fact that DH was possibly going to miss everything. Â I'm kind of a private person and didn't want my mom in the room with me so if it wasn't my husband I'd rather have a professional who I was paying. Â That might be more my own personality than a regional thing though.

Where would you guess doulas would be preferred? Â I'd think areas like NY/NJ/CT would have higher instances of people using doulas than the Midwest or South for example. They also charge a ton more which is partly cost of living but partly from a higher demand for services. Â I think I heard the average range is $300-1000 but all the doulas in my area were closer to $1500. Â I can only imagine what they would've cost if I lived in NYC. Â

I was in New Jersey. Â Doulas are so much more expensive there than other areas but I would think they are more popular too. Â I wouldn't have gotten one for my second child except for the fact that DH was possibly going to miss everything. Â I'm kind of a private person and didn't want my mom in the room with me so if it wasn't my husband I'd rather have a professional who I was paying. Â That might be more my own personality than a regional thing though.

Where would you guess doulas would be preferred? Â I'd think areas like NY/NJ/CT would have higher instances of people using doulas than the Midwest or South for example. They also charge a ton more which is partly cost of living but partly from a higher demand for services. Â I think I heard the average range is $300-1000 but all the doulas in my area were closer to $1500. Â I can only imagine what they would've cost if I lived in NYC. Â

My guess would be that doulas are most popular in the northeast (NY, NJ, etc.) and on the west coast. I'm in Arkansas and have never known anyone to use a doula. I get that some people see benefits in it, but I'm thinking it really is a geographic preference.

My guess would be that doulas are most popular in the northeast (NY, NJ, etc.) and on the west coast. I'm in Arkansas and have never known anyone to use a doula. I get that some people see benefits in it, but I'm thinking it really is a geographic preference.

That was kind of my assumption too. Â I'd say affluent areas of the Northeast (NJ/NY/CT/MA) and the West Coast. Â I don't see myself as rich or anything but I have heard of doula use so it wasn't a foreign concept and seemed like it might be helpful in my situation. Â

That was kind of my assumption too. Â I'd say affluent areas of the Northeast (NJ/NY/CT/MA) and the West Coast. Â I don't see myself as rich or anything but I have heard of doula use so it wasn't a foreign concept and seemed like it might be helpful in my situation. Â

We're in Dallas and paid her $900. For that, we have meet with her twice so far (both about two hours over dinner) so we could get to know each other better, our wants/preferences and things we don't want to happen. We'll meet with her one more time before delivery too. The day I go into labor she'll come straight over to be with us and help us determine when to call the midwives. She'll stay a few hours after delivery cleaning up while we bond as a family and she's satisfied he's latching ok. She'll come back for 2-3 visits after that to check me for any immediate pp or breastfeeding issues.

We're in Dallas and paid her $900. For that, we have meet with her twice so far (both about two hours over dinner) so we could get to know each other better, our wants/preferences and things we don't want to happen. We'll meet with her one more time before delivery too. The day I go into labor she'll come straight over to be with us and help us determine when to call the midwives. She'll stay a few hours after delivery cleaning up while we bond as a family and she's satisfied he's latching ok. She'll come back for 2-3 visits after that to check me for any immediate pp or breastfeeding issues.

So it sounds like you're doing a home birth... Is that right? Another very interesting (and kind of strange) concept to me. But I could certain see wanting a doula if you were doing a home birth. In that situation, the doula is like the L&D nurse, and the midwife is like the OB.

So it sounds like you're doing a home birth... Is that right? Another very interesting (and kind of strange) concept to me. But I could certain see wanting a doula if you were doing a home birth. In that situation, the doula is like the L&D nurse, and the midwife is like the OB.

Yes, we're planning a home birth. There's too many interventions pushed in hospitals we don't agree with, I have a lot of anxiety just being in a hospital and I have had zero complications during my pregnancy. Describing the doula as the L&D nurse is pretty accurate! My friend who is doing a hospital birth also hired a doula because she wanted a 'nurse' she knew, would help be an advocate for her and her husband and they didn't have to worry about shift changes. We have one of three midwives we could get depending on the on-call schedule. They're all certified nurses we've had multiple appointments with each; Allen Birthing Center if you're curious.

Yes, we're planning a home birth. There's too many interventions pushed in hospitals we don't agree with, I have a lot of anxiety just being in a hospital and I have had zero complications during my pregnancy. Describing the doula as the L&D nurse is pretty accurate! My friend who is doing a hospital birth also hired a doula because she wanted a 'nurse' she knew, would help be an advocate for her and her husband and they didn't have to worry about shift changes. We have one of three midwives we could get depending on the on-call schedule. They're all certified nurses we've had multiple appointments with each; Allen Birthing Center if you're curious.

I am in Orange County, California. We are delivering our first baby at a birthing center. Since we are not going the hospital route, we wanted to build as much support, for us both, into the equation. We have never done this before and don't know what to expect. We found comfort in knowing someone is there to support us both emotionally...someone who does this for a living, loves birth, won't take anything personally and knows what we are in for more than we do!

I am in Orange County, California. We are delivering our first baby at a birthing center. Since we are not going the hospital route, we wanted to build as much support, for us both, into the equation. We have never done this before and don't know what to expect. We found comfort in knowing someone is there to support us both emotionally...someone who does this for a living, loves birth, won't take anything personally and knows what we are in for more than we do!

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