We installed the door as advised, because sadly we don’t have a real fire and we needed to provide an alternative entry point so that our Elf didn’t have to tash in our windows.

This one looks very similar to the one being sold at the Card Factory for £1.99. Of course it’s the real deal from the actual north pole. Mummy doesn’t skimp on the important stuff.

We had to install it above the living room door as this is out of the reach of the baby who wants to eat it and the toddler who wants to take it around the entire town with her and then unleash the firey pits of hell when she would inevitably break it.

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I had my very first ‘Aw fuck, I haven’t sorted the elf’ moment – I’m sure this will be a daily occurrence until Christmas as I have done absolutely no planning.

Luckily I had made some totally uninspired white chocolate cornflake cakes earlier – I dubbed them ‘Elf Cakes’ – winner.

I threw some edible glitter at some marshmallows – turns out my girls don’t like marshmallows so I enjoyed these bad boys myself .

I threw a load of white chocolate coins at the table. These are now known as ‘Elf Pennies’. Is there no end to my genius?

The answer is no. No there is not.

After months of ‘Fairy Bread’ breakfasts, this morning saw the creation of ‘Elf Bread’. The secret ingredient is white chocolate spread. BOOM. Healthy.

And last but of course not least, I popped the freaky little git next to a mini Christmas tree, so he could lord it over the breakfast table and keep an eye on the children, ready to fuck off back to the north pole and grass on them for the following…

Bobbi:

Packed her ears with Elf Bread.

Nina :

Wouldn’t put her coat on

Or her shoes

She kicked the shit out of the back of my carseat, when I told her off she told me that her feet where ‘having a party’.

All in all I’d say our North Pole Breakfast went well, but I think at some point over the next few weeks Eddie the Elf may learn that ‘snitches get stitches’.