A few days ago I decided to take on one of my big to-do-tasks. It was time to sort photographs and other odds-and-ends of personal history, discard things I didn’t want, and organize the remainders so that I knew what I had. I wanted to be able to put my...

Once in a great while I have an experience that unexpectedly and swiftly changes a long-held opinion. Usually, if I shift an attitude, it’s after much talking, studying, and thinking. But I had an encounter lately that made me see how I can revamp my mind almost instantly. It was...

I have a hard time asking for help. I see myself as an independent, competent person who can take care of herself quite well without anyone’s assistance. At least that is how I felt until some recent events altered my thinking profoundly and permanently. In my writings I always struggle...

Two-thousand and thirteen was a hard year for me and I am very glad to see it go. I insist that 2014 be better. Of course, I have no control over what this New Year will be like, but I have steadfast, hopeful expectations. I have to believe it will...

I have three sewing boxes sitting close to one another in a closet. Each one is an artifact from the lives of distinct individuals – my mother, my aunt Lena, and me. My mom and Lena were very attached to each other, and I was devoted to both of them....

I sat down today and figured out that I was a caregiver of older loved-ones for varying amounts of time and intensity for much of the past 30 years. It started with my dad who died in 1987 at age 83. He had a major stroke about six months earlier...

Over the course of 10 years I made end-of-life decisions for three unique individuals: my mother, my aunt Lena, and my cousin Fred. I was the health care proxy for all of them. In spite of good care, thoughtful interventions, and supportive environments each was on a path towards dying....

I have been a caregiver for numbers of loved ones. Most were old and all were unable to care for themselves towards the ends of their lives. During these “watching-over” years, I made forays into diverse and unfamiliar places, and struggled with frightening uncertainty. I took on these jobs not...

My birthday is Aug. 1 and every year I reflect a lot around this time. Last year’s thoughts were particularly intense. It was because my older granddaughter, Hannah, turned seven. My birth date falls in a small cluster with other family members. My sister Paula’s is July 29 and Hannah’s...

The other day I bumped into a friend at the supermarket. After checking in with each other, he said “you should write an article about legacy.” I jotted the idea on my shopping list (I have many scraps of paper with ideas to explore) and proceeded to tell him that...

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About Marian

Marian Leah Knapp, Ph.D., wants to start a new conversation about “aging with intent.” Much of what is written about elders is from the point of view of physicians, psychiatrists, gerontologists, and adult children. In her roles as author, columnist, speaker and elder activist, Marian is reporting from the front lines.Full biography