We've been thinking about doing this for a while now. It's not somethign we plan to be proud of but it's a necessary evil with no user feedback on most folks profiles. Only the more extreme examples of douche baggery will make the list, so if we put them here, it's for a good reason.

Here's the first entry...

readytoplay28792 is a douche.Sent a dick pic, we turned him down and he went off on a angry rant calling me a fat cow.

Here over the last week or so I've been logging into the IM here on Horny.net, shopping around for the hotwife... It was like opening some kind of Pandora's box or something. Within a few minutes, we're utterly swamped with messages. I've never seen anything like it. After trying to keep up with it for a few minutes I usually give up and log back out.Wow guys, a few things we'd like the single males on the IM to know...

1. Calm the fuck down. Yes she's real, yes she does have sex with other men, no we don't want to hear about all the filthy things you're wanting to do. There's a time and place for that, the introduction isn't it.

2. Be patient. You're one of about thirty of forty chat windows popping up. If our apparent 'lack of response' pisses you off, then we're not you're type to begin with.

4. Upgrade your fucking account, then you don't have to ask us our ASL, what we're into, how many dicks she's sucked, or if we're coming over to your place tonight.

5. Don't beg. It's not pleasant to watch. If we say we're not interested, it means we're not interested. If we talk to you, it doesn't mean you're getting your dick wet.

6. We're real live human beings, not fuckmeat, not webcammers, and definitely not your live 24 hour sex chat line. Save the dirty talk for the bedroom, please. There's fifty other fuckers all talking that shit. If you're trying to pick a woman up in real life and you say 'I'd eat your asshole' as your opening line, you're going to get the same reaction from us.

7. If you're more than a hundred miles from us, we're not interested in meeting. Not if you're passing through town, not if you're uncle's cousin's sister lives down the road from us. We don't meet guys from out of town.

8. We despise cheaters. If you're married and you're not bringing her along, we're not interested. If you have a girlfriend, then you don't need any hotwife lol. We'd love to meet another couple, not break one up. If you're cheating, fuck off.

9. Grow up. Some of guys talk like you never been around a lady before in your life. No, we don't want to hear about how much you cum, how big your dick is, how much you like eating pussy, how incredible you are in the sack, or how long you can fuck. What the hell is wrong with you people, introduce yourself, say hi, ask how we're doing, talk about the current political situation in the Iberian Peninsula even, but leave that nasty talk for more appropriate times.

10. We're swingers. Educate yourself a little if you don't know what that means. We have norms, we have rules, we have etiquette. We have limits and boundaries, preferences and things we'd like to try or things we won't do. Read the profile, we didn't write it to take up the space between our pics and videos.

11. Fakers are easy to spot. If you're claiming to be a female and you're not, trust us it shows. We may patronize you for entertainment, but you're not fooling anybody for long. If you're a guy pretending to be a couple, you will eventually fuck up and reveal that. Why bother? Be yourself, even if that means we won't fuck you, at least you're not a sleazy fucking faker.

12. If we want a picture, we will ask you for one. If you want one of us, upgrade your fucking account and take your pick from the 2500 or so pics that we busted our ass taking an posting to our profile.

13. Our profile is very active, we post a lot of content. That does NOT mean that she fucks everything that walks and pops wood. If we're interested, we will arrange a meeting. A MEETING means we meet, and it also means you're not getting any pussy at that point, it's a meeting.

Sorry about the rant but damn, it made me understand why women are so paranoid on here.

We get utterly swamped with IM's on here, most of them, by far, are free members and looking to hot chat or send a dick pic. It seems a lot of them are looking to get something from nothing to us. Mostly we respond to them, but they seem to be the more pushy and desperate demographic here. They can't view profiles, or send a regular message so for the few remaining real swingers on here it gets tiresome at times with them asking the same questions over and over again.

Wondering how other gold members on here handle that so I thought we'd post a poll and see what comes of it...

Do you think standard members should be allowed to use the IM here on Horny.net?

Hear alot of complaints from single guys about people not replying to Instant Messages on here. We try to respond to all of them, even if it's just to tell them we aren't interested but thought it would be interesting to put up a couple of the 's we've gotten and maybe it will help some of you understand why most folks don't them any attention. If you guys have gotten some you found entertaining, feel free to post them (just leave the Id's out please).

from single male..."Hey"

Us..."Howdy"

from single male...(sends Dick Pic)You Like?

Us..."Not really."

from single male..."Why not?"

Us..."Cause you just sent a dick pic to a 240lb straight male, we are a couple."

Over the last or so there has been a huge influx of members to Horny.net from India. About once every other day or so we get a message or from some tragically overzealous guy in Mumbai or Calcutta wanting to know when he can meet us. Hopefully this post will spare some of those guys the heartache of rejection...

We just don't get to India often. In fact, we're lucky to get out of the house and very rarely out of town so the chances of us dropping everything and jumping on a plane to travel several thousands of miles to a third world country to let some stranger hump the wife are pretty slim. I know that sounds selfish, but in a country with 1.3 billion people in it, surely you guys can find a willing sexual partner a little closer to home, and if you can't then perhaps you should work on your approach. As tempting as it is for us, we have to decline most of the offers, sorry guys.

We have been on Horny.net for a long time, since about 1997 when it first started out. The IM has always been a little flakey, but here lately, at least since we've gotten back on it has become pretty much unusable. Every time you switch it to 'On IM' and go to another page on here, it turns itself back to 'Busy'. I've seen it literally switch off all by itself. Are you guys having the same problem or are we maybe having some kind of browser issues?

What is it about using a picture of your dick for your main profile photo that is supposed to appeal to others on here? Not much for generalizations or stereotypes, but we've found that nine times out of ten, the ones that have a single picture of their dick on their profile turn out to be the shit talkers and cheaters we usually try to avoid. Post a pic of your face or, if that isn't possible for whatever reason, then post a pic that shows something about yourself that is unique or tells a little about you. When your main profile pic is a penis, that actually tells folks alot about yourself and it's not good and invariably your message tends to get buried in a sea of dick pics, just another same ole same ole on here. Try to stand out without pulling it out, there's ladies here you know.

We're still looking for a female who would be willing to have fun with hubby while the wife watches, sort of a reversal of our usual. We've been on Horny.net since 1997, and swinging for 26 years now and in all that time, we've yet to find a real honest to god female on here who would be interested in playing with a couple. Another couple who would be willing to set something like that up would be awesome as well. It always ends up being the hotwife that has all the fun and we'd like to change it up for once. It's one of our long time fantasies and I guess we just haven't met the right folks yet. If this interests any of you ladies, please drop us a line!

As alot of you guys know, I had a serious spine injury in Feb. of last year. Lost feeling in my toes and my penis and had a horrible burning sensation in my lap when I sat down and coughed at the same time. Went to the emergency room and ended up in emergency surgery the next morning. They did a Billateral Laminectomy and Discectomy on my L5 and discovered I had a previous fracture that had ossified the left side of my L5 to my S1 that they had to chisel apart. I was apparently about 2mm from being paralyzed.

I spent about a month in the rehabilitation hospital and after I got home I found out that the surgery had been very 'aggressive' and it caused my spine to collapse downward and was causing me a great deal of pain to walk. Ended up going to Chapel Hill to have an Anterior and Posterior Spinal Fusion and Bone grafts. Spent another month in the hospital after that one and was told I had degenerative arthritis, slight right scoliosis, persistent stenosis and would likely be in moderate to severe pain for the rest of my life. I have nine screws, two rods, plates and bone grafts in my lower back now.

Anyways, the laws have changed drastically and apparently your regular doctor is no longer able to prescribe any pain medication so they referred me to pain management. It literally took seven months and five separate referrals to finally get accepted to one. I finally get there and they tell me that because I am THC positive, they can't give me any pain medication. They are more than happy to inject steroids, or run wires up my spine for tens of thousands of dollars, or kill the nerves in my back for a couple months. It took them seven months of going to that clinic for them to get me a simple back brace, was left sitting in the exam room for an hour four different times, they are very rude and condescending to you... it's ridiculous.

I started taking this Kratom stuff for the pain, and that stuff is an absolute god send. It acts as an opiate, the two main active alkaloids in it bind to the Mu receptors and within twenty minutes of taking it, your pain is gone. There's no heavy sedation, no respiratory suppression, it's nowhere near as addictive as traditional opiates, no real way to overdose on it, and no major problems with constipation. I'm not trying to sell anything, but I can't say enough good about it. If it wasn't for Kratom, I wouldn't have been able to walk for the last several months. Now of course, the bastards are trying to ban it because it's going to put these greedy assed pain management facilities out of business and put a serious dent in the pharmaceutical companies who make those dangerous and addictive opiates. If you have someone in your family or circle of friends that is in pain or maybe addicted to opiates, please tell them to try Kratom, it will absolutely relieve pain and it helps alot of addicts get off the dope without going through withdrawals. It's a miracle, completely natural, and needs public support before they take it off the market due to the anti-kratom BULLSHIT they are pumping out through the media.

Anyways, I got the THC out of my system and quit the kratom long enough to appease the uppity ass who is my 'pain dr.' and he finally, after seven months of them milking my insurance for thousands of dollars, ordered some pain medication for me... it's nowhere near as effective as the kratom was and now I have to go and piss in a cup like a criminal once a month for the rest of my life? I'm seriously considering telling them to go fuck themselves and stocking up on enough kratom to last a couple years. The Hotwife and I would love to hear you guys' opinions on it.

The bastards weren't going to give me anything for pain and let me walk around with that shit for seven months!

PS... if you are interested in it, the Red Vein Bentuangie Kratom is the best one to take for pain, it is fermented which oxidizes the mitragynine alkaloids into 7-HO-Mitragynine which is a potent Mu receptor agonist and absolutely kills your pain at a 3-4 gram dosage.

Just wanted to say thank you to all the folks that have sent us well wishes and encouragement, it's been a really rough time for us and it was really cool to see all our friends here on Horny.net and the kind words they sent.

Hubby has had a pretty serious injury to his lower back and we ended up having to take him to the hospital... He was admitted and they did an emergency surgery the next morning. His L5 was 96% extruded and was pinching the nerves running to his legs and groin area and was just a few millimeters away from paralysis. Fortunately we got to it in time and the surgeon is pretty confident he should recover. We're looking at a pretty lengthy recovery though, 3 months before he's able to bend and twist, and roughly 6 months before he is back to normal We got lucky though, it definitely could have been alot worse. We're going to be taking a brief hiatus from swinging though, so bear with us and please keep us in your thoughts as we try to get back on track here.

One of several fantasies we have related to cuckolding is to have one of the wife's bulls actually move in with us for a month and have him basically take hubby's place in the bed and around the house and act as a 'temporary husband'. The wife would become his devoted lover while hubby, in the mean time would be made to wear his chastity for the entire month and become the wife and temporary husband's servant, cooking and cleaning for them etc. It's not something we would likely ever act on, but it often comes up in our pillow talk.