Original Text

Modern Text

I’d like to get to know you better, Mr. Cobweb. If I
cut my finger, I’ll use you as a bandage to stop the
bleeding.—And your name, sir?

PEASEBLOSSOM

Peaseblossom.

PEASEBLOSSOM

Peaseblossom.

BOTTOM

I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your mother, and to
Master Peascod, your father. Good Master Peaseblossom, I shall
desire you of more acquaintance too.— Your name, I
beseech you, sir?

BOTTOM

Please, give my regards to your mother, Mrs. Peapod, and your
father, Mr. Peapod. Good Mr. Peaseblossom, I’d like to
get to know you better too.—And you, may I ask what your
name is, sir?

105

MUSTARDSEED

Mustardseed.

MUSTARDSEED

Mustardseed.

BOTTOM

Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience well. That same
cowardly, giantlike ox-beef hath devoured many a gentleman of your
house. I promise you your kindred hath made my eyes water ere now. I
desire you of more acquaintance, good Master Mustardseed.

BOTTOM

Good Mr. Mustardseed, I know you very well. Those cowardly,
gigantic sides of beef have been responsible for many of your family
members getting eaten as a condiment on beef. I swear to you, many
members of your mustard family have made my eyes water before. I
look forward to getting to know you better, Mr. Mustardseed.

110

TITANIA

Come, wait upon him. Lead him to my bower.

The moon methinks looks with a watery eye.

And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,

Lamenting some enforcèd chastity.

Tie up my love’s tongue. Bring him silently.

TITANIA

Take good care of him. Take him to my sleeping area. The moon
looks sad to me. When she cries, all the little flowers cry too.
They’re sad because someone is prevented from having
sex—or is having it against her will. Keep my lover
quiet. Bring him to me in silence.