Copywriters: Strike “needs” from your lexicon.

If you resort to phrases even roughly akin to “for all your ____________ needs,” you are no copywriter. You are a meaningless-phrase-mill.

Your job is to figure out specific needs a product fills, present them so as to draw from the market a nod of agreement, and then show how the product saves the day—while avoiding any form of the n word in question. When you write “for all your ____________ needs,” you are counting on consumers to do your work for you. Since they won’t, it is not a terribly good strategy.

“For all your post main course needs” doesn’t quite do it.

Come on. I challenge you even to imagine a consumer saying, “Wow! It says right here in the ad that Honest Mikey’s Mortgage & Deli is the place ‘for all your home loan needs.‘ Clearly this is the mortgage banker for me!” Something like “step-by-step, easy-to-understand guidance for the first time home buyer,” “approvals in 24 hours,” or “pay off your loan sooner and save tens of thousands of dollars in interest” might persuade a bit more.

Condom marketers do not say, “For all your sexual needs.” Besides being patently untrue for all but the most easily satisfied, it is not nearly as persuasive as “strong,” “thin,” “helps prevent spread of disease,” “helps prevent pregnancy,“ and “maximum pleasure.”

If you happen to “need” an air filter for your 2014 Citröen, surely you will agree that “for all your foreign auto parts needs” assures not at all while “over 100,000 hard-to-find foreign car parts in stock every day” actually gives you hope.

Sure, spelling out needs and solutions adds words. But more words that say something are far better than fewer words that say nothing.