TACOMA, WA – A couple in Washington have been accused of killing a man so they could live in his home.

Meth leads to some strange problem-solving strategies.

Like when Jeremy and Lorena Shaw needed a new place to live. Shaw just picked out a nice house and killed Homeowner Dude, then moved right in.

Problem solved.

Authorities allege that Shaw used a sham petition as an excuse to case Steven Morphis’ secluded seven-acre property, and to obtain a copy of his signature.

On September 19th, Shaw returned and subdued Morphis by pepper-spraying him, then bludgeoned him repeatedly and cut his throat. After hiding the body, he brought his beloved wife Lorena to their “new home,” warning her not to go into the shed.

And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t’ve been for those damned handymen.

As is usual when the ingestion of lots of meth is involved, things went a bit awry for the couple on the evening of September 20th, when two handymen found Morphis’ body in a shed, bound hand and foot and wrapped in a tarp and a comforter.…

GRAFTON, ND – A North Dakota man has blamed his sleep walking on the sexual assault of a teenage girl who spent the night at his home.

Adding to the litany of odd-to-outrageous excuses given by perverts for their sexual peccadilloes, we have Robert Kringstad.

The 39-year-old Grafton, North Dakota man was accused of sexual improprieties of the underage kind on September 24th, when he was arrested for an untoward occurrence from back in May.

On a sultry (for North Dakota) summer night, a teenage girl who was crashing on his living room floor after a concert awoke to find that her nether regions had become subject to the ministrations of Kringstad’s manly meathook.

She removed herself from his now-odious vicinity and informed her mother of the sexual assault upon the following morn.

When tasked with this roguery, Kringstad was unruffled, telling authorities that “I sleep hard and things happen. One simple mistake and that’s all it took.”

ANCHORAGE, AK – A man who admitted to choking a woman unconscious before sexually assaulting her will serve no jail time after reaching plea deal.

An unusual assault case has highlighted what some consider to be deep flaws in Alaska’s justice system, and has citizens calling for the ouster of a judge in the case.

It all started with Justin Scott Schneider, a 34-year-old (former) air traffic controller who has developed a problem keeping his hands, and his semen, to himself.

In August 2017, Schneider, who at that point had a clean criminal record, offered a ride to a woman at a gas station. She just wanted to get to her boyfriend’s house. Schneider wanted to get off.

So he drove to an isolated spot, parked the car and grabbed her by the throat, telling her that he would kill her if she screamed. Then he doubled down, telling her that he was going to kill her regardless. Then he choked her out. And jerked off on her.

When she came to, he was zipping up, and explained to her that “he needed her to believe she was going to die so that he could be sexually fulfilled.”

A witness saw Schneider with the victim at the location where the assault occurred, and the victim identified Schneider from a lineup.…

Aside from finding a Crazy Glue stick in the room, police also found a 2-month-old baby under a pile of pillows and blankets. The woman said Carter had covered the baby before assaulting the toddler because the infant had been crying.

Carter was arrested 10 days later after traveling 230 miles away to El Paso. He has been charged with injury to a child causing serious bodily injury.

Not surprisingly, Carter has severe anger management issues. He’d previously served time for domestic violence and violating a protective order.

This isn’t the first time we’ve reported on a parent using super glue on a child, nor is it the worst.…

MESQUITE, TX – A daycare owner is in some trouble after her childcare methods were called into question, specifically her method of leaving children tied to car seats for up to seven hours per day.

Any daycare owner will tell you that one of the biggest challenges of the business is keeping the little tykes occupied.

Rebecca Anderson found a creative solution that has her in hot water with the authorities.

Said authorities had their attention directed to the 60-year-old Mesquite, TX woman, who ran a licensed daycare out of her home, by the parents of a six-month-old who had put a video camera in the infant’s car seat.

The video that they captured showed part of Anderson’s modus operandi: after yanking the kid out of the car seat, she fed him something out of a syringe.

This was on Thursday, September 13th. Police raided her house of horrors the next afternoon.

When they served the search warrant, Anderson told them that there were five children on site. There were actually nine.…

CAMDEN, NJ – A man serving time for child porn possession has gotten himself into more trouble after getting caught with more child porn.

Some people just don’t learn.

They make the same moronic mistakes over and over and over, regardless of the consistently negative effects of their actions, bumbling through life, repeatedly stumbling over their own stupidity because they cannot, or will not, learn from experience.

Brian J. McKay is one of those people.

While serving a federal term for possession and distribution of child pornography, McKay got caught with more kiddie porn.

Apparently, Zamora was posting sexually explicit videos of a young girl to a well-known website where members trade child pornography.

The photos of the girl seemed to have been taken without her knowledge while she was undressing or sleeping.

Even more troublesome, Zamora was making comments on the site that led investigators to believe the girl was in physical danger.

“The suspect posting these photos was making comments about possibly sexually abusing the child,” an affidavit said. “Multiple users of this international website were requesting the subject take more pictures and ‘share’ with them.”

Members of the FBI’s Child Exploitation Task Force executed a search warrant and searched Zamora’s home. He admitted to law enforcement that he was the one who took the photos of the girl, who turned out to be his sister.…

MISSOULA, MT — Man accused of leaving a 5-month-old baby in the woods after a car crash because the baby was “very heavy.”

Francis Carlton Crowley is unconscionably lazy. And just a teensy bit high.

On Saturday, September 8th, deputies were dispatched to Lolo Hot Springs, Montana after receiving a disturbance complaint involving a man making threats and claiming to have a gun.

When they finally located Crowley, he was disoriented and nonsensical, but they were able to determine two things (besides the obvious fact that he was as fucked-up as a football bat); one: he had been in a car crash at some point earlier in the day, and two: a five-month-old baby that had been “left in his care” was missing.

The latter of the two was obviously more important to deputies, but Crowley was of little assistance; he wasn’t sure what had become of the infant. Maybe he was lying on the side of the road, maybe he was buried in the woods. All Crowley was certain of was the reason he abandoned the infant: the child was “very heavy.”

A search team consisting of local, state and federal authorities scoured the area.…

The 21-year-old Florida Man was arrested on September 18th after authorities learned that he had shared a smile with a 5-year-old boy that he babysitting.

Sounds perfectly innocuous, doesn’t it? Hell, compared to the average story on the Demon, sharing a smile with a kid is positively angelic, right? Not the way Mize does it.

He uses a lighter.

Sources don’t say who left the five-year-old in the care of this Trailer-Park-Boys-lookin’ maniac, but we do know that when they got the kid back, he had a smiley face burned onto his right knee. The boy would later tell police that Mize held him down in the living room and used the lighter to give him his new decoration.

What’s more, authorities would learn that this was not Mize’s first attempt at butane-fueled body art.

It seems that, just the day before, he had given a smile to an eight-year-old boy who was left in his care.…

TEXARCANA, AK – An Arkansas couple were arrested after a neglected dog led police to a home with several decaying dog carcasses inside.

Magan Terry, 29, and Brandon Woody, 38, take animal neglect to new heights with that Southern Gothic “bodies decaying gracefully about the house” flava.

Hell, their unique way with animals led police right to their door.

On July 9th, Texarkana animal control officers were alerted to a stray white male pit bull on city property. When they responded, they found the dog in question, which was emaciated and so infested with fleas that “its back appeared to be black and the fleas appeared to move in waves across its body.”

When officers investigated the nearby residential area, they noted a rotting raccoon carcass in the suspects’ driveway. They are apparently quite familiar with Terry and Woody, having fielded multiple calls regarding the residence, both because of dead wildlife on the property and animal neglect.

Finding the front door standing wide open, officers decided to investigate further. They made it as far as the front porch before being covered in fleas.…

EMERSON, NE – A Nebraska couple have pleaded not guilty to charges they deprived their two teenage boys from food and showers.

The Busker’s kids are hungry. And stinky.

Why? Because the Buskers are assholes. Cheap assholes.

On Wednesday August 8th, Blaine Busker, 41, and Donella Busker, 38, of Emerson, Nebraska, were arrested for the mistreatment of two teenaged boys that were under their care.

Local media reports refer to the boys as their “sons,” but the story linked above notes that the Buskers had received a total of $5,475 from the state of Nebraska “from February through June to care for the children,” and the duration of the abuse was specified as being from January 1st through June 18th, so it looks like the boys are actually foster children.

Which doesn’t excuse the starvation, privation and abuse that they had to endure.

Even with all that money coming in, the Buskers begrudged the two (presumably) growing boys proper nutrition, so much so that they kept the refrigerator and kitchen cupboards padlocked to prevent any surreptitious snacking.…

HERE, NOW – Thanks to everyone who showed up to episode 16 of the Pulpit of Doom Livestream Saturday night – we had a good time.

It only took a total of sixteen episodes, but we finally had a livestream that went off with absolutely no technical difficulties. Yes, we were as surprised as everyone else.

For those of you who may not know, the Pulpit of Doom Livestream is our live, unedited podcast in which we talk about the top 10 articles on the site for the week, as well as anything else that pops into our heads.

Pagan was unable to join us Saturday night as he couldn’t decide what dress to wear, but myself, Jaded and Old Man Metal discussed a myriad of different topics.

These included beating people with kitchen utensils, beating kids to death with dresser drawers, pretending to have Down Syndrome to get your genitals handled, being stabbed to death in a random attack at an intersection, and much, much more.