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Sunday, 6 July 2014

I am not looking for allies

There appears to have been a misconception about why I
blog about what I blog about and why I co-run Fangs for the Fantasy. I suppose
I can see why, I mean, I can’t even tell you ALL the reasons why I do both
because there’s a lot there.

There’s some venting. There’s the need to expose tropes
and problematic representations and erasure in the hope that awareness will
bring change. There’s an equal need to expose these simply because we consume
them without questioning all the time and unless we do start questioning they
will shape us. There’s the need to demand representation and inclusion
everywhere – not decide that certain genres don’t matter or we can be confined
to a niche. Oh there’s a bazillion reasons, I’ve written whole posts on the
reasons.

But I do NOT do this to “find allies.” Never have. Finding
allies is not on my to-do list. I don’t even particularly like the word “ally”
because it’s so loaded with so many unpleasant connotations and experiences
that I avoid it – the actions of too many self-appointed “allies” have rendered
the word fairly irredeemably negative.

When it comes to people’s position in reference to a
battle for equality I see two broad categories:

1)Arseholes

2)People
Who Are Not Arseholes

An Arsehole is one who doesn’t believe a marginalised
group deserves the same level of respect/rights/whatever as non-marginalised
people. There are obviously different degrees of Arseholes. Some like to go out
killing marginalised people, some want to campaign against our rights, some
just think there’s far too many of Those People on TV and wish we’d keep it
indoors. Some Arseholes will tell you how much they absolutely love us – until
we don’t follow their own internal script on who/how we should be.

Regardless of the varying degrees of stink clinging to
them – they’re all Arseholes.

People who are not Arseholes are just that – they think
LGBT people (and all marginalised people) are people worthy of as much respect
as privileged people. Despite them being relatively rare people, this is not an
achievement worthy of much praise. This is the bare minimum standard for decent
humanity – and should be your default setting. If it isn’t, you’re an Arsehole
and should be treated as such

Is it possible that, with much work and explanation, I
could convince an Arshole to not be an Arsehole? Yes – but not only is that
work and painful and difficult, it’s also deeply dehumanising. I find it
soul-deep offensive to have to convince someone I am an actual person worthy of
respect. Having to defend, explain or justify my humanity is demeaning, it’s
belittling and I loathe doing it. Almost
as much I hate people telling me how much they’re struggling not to be an
Arsehole.

Don’t ever tell me that I’m failing to win allies or I’m
driving allies away and think it will convince me to, well, change anything.. The first is not actually something I’m trying to do or want to
do. The second is impossible with a genuine ally – because a genuine ally would
support our rights as a full human being no matter how much of an ornery, surly
git I am.