Zach Galifianakis: Two, three, two, one...
Zach Galifianakis: Hi. My name is Zach Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis: Uh, this is Between Two Ferns.
Zach Galifianakis: Today, my guest is Natalie Portman.
Zach Galifianakis: She's with her dog.
Natalie Portman: Whiz. This is Whiz.
Zach Galifianakis: Whiz.
Zach Galifianakis: Hello.
Zach Galifianakis: Alright. Um. You're an accomplished actress.
Zach Galifianakis: You've, um, graduated from Harvard.
Zach Galifianakis: Uh. You've done, some great international charity work.
Zach Galifianakis: Uh, what is your phone number?
Natalie Portman: That's, that's private.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah, I know.
Zach Galifianakis: So, uh, you do a lot of, a lot of charity work?
Natalie Portman: I've been working with a group called Finca
Natalie Portman: that does micro finance.
Natalie Portman: Um, it's like small loans for mainly women in the developing world.
Zach Galifianakis: Oh that's great. I do a lot of work with IMDb.
Zach Galifianakis: Is it really upsetting in Star Wars that you didn't
Zach Galifianakis: have more scenes with Chewbacca?
Natalie Portman: Yeah, actually.
Zach Galifianakis: What's he like to work with?
Natalie Portman: Um.
Zach Galifianakis: He doesn't speak English, does he?
Zach Galifianakis: Does he have a translator?
Zach Galifianakis: 'Cause I always thought it would be weird
to communicate with him.
Zach Galifianakis: It would be so funny if he drove like a Miata.
Natalie Portman: I'm not...what was the question?
Zach Galifianakis: You know what, I'll ask him when he comes
on the show.
[Natalie giggles]
Zach Galifianakis: That's the thing?
Natalie Portman: Yeah.
Zach Galifianakis: You mind if I smell it?
Zach Galifianakis: Being in the movies and stuff as people approach
Zach Galifianakis: you and say, "You know I have an idea
for a movie," or
Zach Galifianakis: "What a cool line. What you should say in a movie."
Zach Galifianakis: Does that get annoying?
Natalie Portman: Yeah, it's pretty annoying
Zach Galifianakis: I think it would be cool, like, in a
movie if you were, like,
Zach Galifianakis: in a two-piece bikini, and
you're getting ready to
Zach Galifianakis: make out with a guy, like, a love scene, and, uh,
Zach Galifianakis: you undo your bikini in the back and you're like there's something
Zach Galifianakis: I've been meaning to get off my chest.
[dog growls]
Zach Galifianakis: Do you wear, do you wear bikinis?
Natalie Portman: Could we talk about the...
Natalie Portman: next thing?
Zach Galifianakis: Next thing.
Zach Galifianakis: Okay You shaved your head for V for Vendetta...
Natalie Portman: Uh huh.
Zach Galifianakis: Um, did you also shave your v for vagina?
Natalie Portman: Uh. Pass.
[dog growls]
Zach Galifianakis: I've gotta bigger dick than that.
[show music plays]