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February 27, 2016

So we have been trying to conceive for over six months now. I recently had an OBGYN appointment to find out what is going on.

I am in my mid twenties so not getting pregnant after six months isn't a huge deal, and most couples don't get pregnant right away, it could take a normal, healthy couple a few years, but I have irregular periods, so I figured something might be up and my OBGYN agreed.

She thinks I might have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). One symptom is irregular periods, what concerned her was that I seemed to have a cycle that was 30 days and then it would jump to 41 days. Another side effect is "unnatural" body hair (in the sense that it is not common on women, but on men). Women with PCOS have more androgen/testosterone released in their bodies, which would explain the unnatural body hair. However, body hair can be genetic as well, which is why she wants me to get the ultrasound to verify if I have cysts on my ovaries.

For now she just recommended getting the tests done and to try losing some weight since studies have shown that women with PCOS and are overweight who lose even just 10 pounds, have a higher chance of getting pregnant (I'm 20 pounds overweight, I gained a bit more over winter since I couldn't go out and run as much, but I have always struggled to lose weight, despite being active, which is another problem with PCOS, so I don't know if I'll lose the weight fast enough to make a difference).

My doctor also recommended using ovulation tests to help pinpoint when I'm going to ovulate since with PCOS (and irregular periods in general) you never know when you are going to ovulate and if you are going to at all. It's pretty random.

At least I have some answers now. There is still a slight chance I don't have PCOS and I won't know for sure until I do the testing. If I don't have PCOS, then it could be something else. There is medication to help with PCOS, but I'll have to wait till after the testing to consider that, but my doctor recommends we try another six months without medication anyway just because PCOS doesn't mean I can't get pregnant, it just makes it trickier.

Anyway, I'm going to try the ovulation tests this cycle, get those tests done sometime next month, and I guess we'll go from there.

February 12, 2016

To keep or to change my last name: This has become an ongoing issue for women in the modern world.

When I got married back in 2012, I faced this dilemma. Thinking back on it, I don't know why it was such a big deal. I had no attachment to my last name. I didn't necessarily want to keep mine, but I also didn't really want to take his.

Truthfully, I was just stubborn and unsure of what I wanted at the time. Gone were the days where you just took your husband's last name, and women everywhere were coming up with all sorts of stuff, making it more complicated for me to figure out what I wanted.

In the end, I decided to take his last name. It was just easier and he was more important to me than a name.

It's been three years and I have no regrets. If anything, I can't believe how ridiculous I was.

Most last names are patriarchal. They are passed down from great grandfather, to grandfather, to father, then to son. So I will never fully understand the feminist argument, since in the end you are basically fighting over whether or not to use your grandfather's or his grandfather's last name, and even if you had your mom's last name, that probably still belonged to a male sometime in the past.

I'm not against not changing your name, but sometimes I think the reasons behind them aren't very solid. So here are some reasons why you should keep your last name or consider combining last names:

If you have a strong attachment to your family history. Some people consider their family ancestry very important and if you are proud or value your lineage, you might want to keep your last name.

Your partner's last name is embarrassing or could lead to potential teasing when you have kids. I have heard and seen some pretty bad last names, like Poop. In this case, your partner might even want or be willing to take your last name.

Your the last one to pass on the family name. This kind of ties in with number one. If you want to keep the patriarchy going, then you probably want to hold onto your last name, but you will also want to discuss naming your children as well since if you don't pass on your last name, the family name will end with you.

You have a strong career/reputation, bills to pay, etc. You probably don't want to deal with the hassle of having to change your name on every single document. (This is why my husband didn't want to change his last name, plus he liked his last name).

You love your last name (probably because of points one and three).

I'm sure there are some other legit reasons out there, but these are the common ones I see and can totally understand.

I didn't keep my last name because I didn't feel any of the above. To me it was just a name, it was not mine; it belonged to some really old man. I liked the idea of sharing a name with my husband and our future children, and since he wanted to keep his, it just made sense to take his last name. To me, it appears odd when the mother's last name is different from the rest of the family or vice versa. It just doesn't have that "family unit" feel, but that's just my opinion.

I did have a moment where I thought it would be cool if we made our own last name by combining or last names, do some weird kind of mash-up, but that was too "out there" for my husband and thinking back on it, I kind of have to agree. However, I think this could become a trend in the future.

In the end, you do what is right for you and your partner, but make sure to decide early on just how important the last name issue is to you. If it is a deal breaker, maybe don't wait until he proposes to bring it up, but also don't bring it up on the first date.

February 5, 2016

For those who haven't seen "How I Met Your Mother" and want to (it's available on Netflix), or if you haven't gotten to the ending yet, you might want to stop reading now to avoid spoilers. For those who have watched the show or have no desire to watch the show, you may or may not choose to continue reading.

Let's start with a little recap, in the last episode, it is revealed that Tracy (aka "The Mother") has been dead the entire time. The kids call Ted out claiming that this whole story he just told them wasn't about their mom, but about Robin. The kids basically give Ted the okay to be with Robin, and it ends with Ted standing under Robin's apartment with a blue french horn (so cheesy right?).

This ending was a mix among the people I follow on social media when it first aired, some loved it, others hated it. As you can tell from the title of this post, I wasn't a fan of the ending and haven't been able to re-watch the series because of it (it is sad how a bad ending can ruin a good show). Anyway, here is why I didn't like the ending to "How I Met Your Mother":

Ted and Robin were on and off again in the beginning of the series and they went their separate ways (eventually), only to end up back together in the season finale. It's like Tracy never mattered. She was just Ted's free pass at having the kids/family he wanted because Robin didn't share those ideals (remember all those times they broke up because she didn't want kids). Now that his kids are all grown up, his wife conveniently dead, he ends up with Robin (who we assume has done everything she wanted in life). Ted and Robin basically get everything they want. Ted got his kids, Robin got her career, and so they can now be together.

It's kind of like the novel Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Brontë, except Ted supposedly had a happy marriage with his wife, whereas Edward (from Jane Eyre) was tricked into marrying a crazy lady (also Jane wasn't Edward's former lover). I think Ted ending up with Robin might have made more sense if his marriage wasn't great, but since the show made a big deal about how much he loved Tracy, this comes off as more of an insult to Tracy, in my opinion.

If my husband decided to go back to his first girlfriend after being married to me, I would be devastated. I'm supposed to be the love of his life! This ending makes me feel sorry for Tracy. Was Ted harboring feelings for Robin all that time? Did Tracy even matter? The way the show ends, it comes off as Robin being Ted's true love and sure, maybe he cared for Tracy, but apparently, she was just a stepping stone on the way to Robin. It makes you wonder what would have happened if Tracy didn't die, would they have divorced because of Robin? But that's a whole other can of worms...

But hey, it's a TV show, it's not supposed to match up with what happens in real life. If this scenario happened in real life, Ted probably would have been considered a jerk instead of a romantic. Then again what do I know, maybe there are some happily married couples out there who would not mind if their partner went back to their ex if he or she happened to die.