Table For Two: How To Cook For A Woman

So, you’ve made it through the first date and convinced a girl to see you again.

Well done.

Friday night is approaching and you’re keen to plan a date. As a gentleman, you should be treating the girl throughout the courting process. However, if you’ve spent the last of your salary on porn and video games, fear not. I will show you how to create a dinner so magical she won’t notice the stack of Barely Legal sitting on your coffee table.

Step 1 –Research and Dietary Requirements

Be sure to ask is she has any food allergies, extreme dislikes, or vegetarian tendencies. Don’t panic if she’s a vegetarian; it’s actually easier.

If she’s a vegan – rethink your relationship.

Step 2 – Menu Planning

If you’ve never cooked before, now is not the time to choose something delicate. A fallen soufflé is not the way into a girl’s heart or pants.

Opt for something that can be made in advance and simply assembled once she arrives (I have lovingly listed links to some easy recipes and the bottom of the page). Choose one from each course (starter, main and desert).

Yes boys, three courses. Make a list of the ingredients you have already, and those which need to be purchased.

Step 3 – Set the mood

It’s time to tidy up. Clean your apartment and tell your housemates to piss off or make themselves scarce. Candles sound a bit cliché, but can be a nice touch (worst case scenario – take an empty bottle of wine/mineral water/cider and jam a tall candle in the top, letting the wax run down the bottle). How rustic!

Clean the kitchen before she gets there and ensure it doesn’t look like a third world cesspool. Set the table. Don’t forget napkins of some variety (worst case scenario – neatly fold a sheet of paper towel into a triangle).

Make a special playlist to create an atmosphere.

Step 4 – Show time

She has arrived! Invite her in, take her coat, and offer her a drink.

Hopefully you’ve been paying attention on previous dates, so you know what she likes. Wine is usually a good idea.

When you’re ready, serve the first course. A tasty salad or homemade soup is cheap, easy and can be made in advance.

Exercise your table manners. Sit up straight and bring the food to your mouth. Don’t hover over the plate. Try not to talk with your mouth full. Food is to be enjoyed, so take your time.

When you’re finished, clear the plates, top up her drink, and serve the second course. Talk to your date and listen while she speaks. Ask her questions about her job, friends, hobbies, etc. If you can’t bring yourself to listen, make noises that suggest you are.

Take a rest before dessert, or bring it into the living room. By now, the old ‘dessert is in the bedroom’ expression may be running through your head. But if you actually put in the effort to make chocolate mousse, she is more likely to be interested in your Swiss roll (or Tootsie Roll, as the case may be).