Tuesday, 13 March 2012

The Lucky 7 Meme And...

1. Go to page 77 of your current Manuscript.2. Go to line 7.3. Copy down the next 7 lines - sentences or paragraphs - and post them as they're written. No cheating.4. Tag 7 authors.5. Let them know.

I have not reached that far in my current WIP, so I'm using work from my MG Fantasy instead.

____

"These kids must be crazy!" they whispered.

Whether or not Bane and Styx heard, or cared, really didn't matter at that point. Twenty four hours had passed and only three minutes were left before all their effort and money was destroyed.

Bane dashed to the counter and skid to a halt. Styx came crashing into him and they both fell onto their sides. They rolled and stepped on each other as they edged to the cupboard--only a few minutes remained and all would be lost.

"Get it! Get it!" Styx said.

Bane slid his hands beneath the crate and gently lifted it onto the table. He hobbled to his feet with the jerks of Styx's eager head pushing him to the side.

Was it too late? Had he failed to make magic?

His respiring hastened as he placed his hands on the white lid and slowly lifted it. The moment had arrived--mere minutes remained--Styx gasped--he gulped--and then--

___

Facebook is the biggest social network on the planet and things can get a little, um, mixed up because of it.

This is the image my ten-year-old cousin found in his inbox. From Facebook. He sent it to me with the caption, "LOL at Facebook. They think I'm a girl." Apparently this is an ad campaign for yogurt. And might I add, a very risque one at that. 0_0

The cream on this dude's body looks like some other white stuff men have (or is it my dirty mind?) and if that barcode were any smaller, this would be an ad for the porn company Vivid Entertainment.

It's actually quite an effective image for its target audience, I think (which does not include the likes of ten-year-old dudes). I can imagine opening this up as a girl and going crazy: "Damn I want some yogurt! And some other white stuff men have." (Or is it all in my dirty mind?)

Well, to bring a bit more focus on your excerpt (!) it's a hell of a cliffhanger. I'd like to know more of what's going on there. "His respiring hastened" is a bit clunky though - how about "his breath quickened"?

And I wouldn't like my 11-year-old stepdaughter to see that image either. Slightly disturbing!