How many of these things can be considered monthly nondiscretionary spending? None. I’ve taken the liberty to cut them out of my budget.

But the story doesn’t end there. When a girl really needs a drink at social hour, she will do anything, appropriate by Fletcher standards, to get her hands on a drink.

Speaking of which, time for social hour. The plan today is to gently deploy my charm, wit, and nonsensical humor in an effort to persuade/coerce a kind human soul to buy me a drink, for which I will be eternally grateful.