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Returning spinning net shots

I'm a club level player and I play the same guy regularly. He's got a pretty consistent tight spinning net shot and I don't know what to do!

I've just read the badminton grips and I will try the panhandle grip at the net (for backhand) and a thumb grip (for forehands) but this is for taking the shuttle late right?
so many times I find myself there early, I just donít know how to control the spin - if i try to lift it, it will often go wide, or if I return with a net shot it often goes off to the side or short or w/e - feels like I donít have control.

I have tried leaving the shuttle longer; waiting for the spin to calm down but itís still out of my control. Watching the pros play (especially Lin Dan and LCW), unless itís really tight they seem to negate the spin. Can someone elaborate?

If you get there early, just do the same motion ie spin it again. I feel that is the easiest way to negate the spin. If you feel uncomfortable with the accuracy you can always put it defensively into the middle. Another option is to not challenge him at the net, if your stops/drops go further (around service line), he won't be able to do tight spinning netshots.

If you always play against the same guy then you should know when he does these types of shots. When he does, use that knowledge to your advantage and maybe try to net kill it? If you get there a millisecond late while trying to do this, lifting it flat might be easier to control since it just passed the net cord.

and as for spinning it back... could you offer some advice on this shot, since I've tried this already but finding it difficult to control. I've counted some games where I've only won 2 or 3 points from the net, damn! I know not letting him play the shot would be my best chance, but I would rather challenge him at the net and get some effortless points.

elbow up, racket should point slightly down. Take it early, straighten your back for balance but bend the knees a bit. The contact point movement should be just a calm, slightly sideways flick with your wrist, no real arm movement. Arm slightly bent, dont stretch it fully. Also focus on being relaxed while practicing it, your arm can almost be floating.
I suck at explaining the grip so someone else will have to clarify, but you should hold it further out into your fingertips, not using the thumb for generating power as in a backhand lift.
I dont think it can be taught with words very well though, just either watch some videos of the action or even better, get a coach to teach you.

elbow up, racket should point slightly down. Take it early, straighten your back for balance but bend the knees a bit. The contact point movement should be just a calm, slightly sideways flick with your wrist, no real arm movement. Arm slightly bent, dont stretch it fully. Also focus on being relaxed while practicing it, your arm can almost be floating.
I suck at explaining the grip so someone else will have to clarify, but you should hold it further out into your fingertips, not using the thumb for generating power as in a backhand lift.
I dont think it can be taught with words very well though, just either watch some videos of the action or even better, get a coach to teach you.