Talking about sex makes for a more fulfilling relationship. Here are the topics you should address with your partner, from our sister site WomansDay.com.

It goes without saying that youd like to enjoy making love to your partner; yet, nearly every other aspect of sex calls for a chat. Heres why: Couples who discuss tricky topics effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who ignore difficult subjects, according to a study by Joseph Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations. A handful of conversations make the biggest difference in the strength and duration of a relationship, says Grenny. Talking about sexual intimacy tops that small list. Read on for eight issues to broach and how to approach them so you can move on to more interesting things.

1. LimitsUnless you want to end up in a 50 Shades of OMG what are you doing? situation, discuss boundaries. While its possible to have a good experience trying something new with no communication, its also possible to have a big fail, says Carol Queen, PhD, Staff Sexologist for Good Vibrations, an online sex toy shop. Determine what kinds of play youre OK with before someone pulls out handcuffs. Also, choose a safe word, one unrelated to sex either of you can say to halt what's happening. To start the limits conversation, exchange one idea each about something youd like to experience. Worst case: Your move stays a fantasy. Best case: There are two new options on your sexual menu, says Dr. Queen.

2. Ruts It can be easy to move into patterns in a sexual relationship, especially if a couple starts out with little sex information or strong opinions about what normal sex is, leading them to reject many erotic options, says Dr. Queen. If your sexual playbook becomes staid, she suggests talking to a sex therapist or coach  or doing some reading. Some books, like Hot Sex! Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, are made to be browsed together, giving you spicy ideas and info to boot, says Dr. Queen.

3. Dysfunction Failure to launch and premature party ending are touchy subjects. Most guys dont want to talk about it while in bed, says Joel D. Block, PhD, author of Do It My Way. So instead, ask him to pleasure you  it takes the tension away from his difficulty. If you have the issue, say, dryness, Dr. Block suggests saying, I love when you go more slowly or I need more foreplay to get me started. If dysfunction happens repeatedly, acknowledge the problem outside of the bedroom. You could say, If Im feeling pressured it works against me, but know that Im OK. Well get past this. If he elaborates, cool. If not, drop the issue knowing youve at least mentioned it in a sensitive, supportive manner.

4. SafetyIt doesnt matter how many sex partners each of you has had, points out Dr. Queen. HPV and other bugs hitch a ride on human genitals, just as the common cold goes for your nose and throat. Its best to talk about this matter-of-factly before you have sex for the first time. Try: This is what I do for birth control and These are my standards for safe sex. Its your body, and some conditions are forever  including unplanned offspring, adds Dr. Queen.

5. Exclusivity Dont assume. If you dont come to a clear verbal agreement and think, he couldnt be with someone else, youre lying to yourself, says Laurie Puhn, couples mediator, author and creator of the nationwide course Fight Less, Love More. Many women prefer to assume exclusivity because theyre afraid the guy wont agree to it. In that case, you should know and make an informed decision about whether to have sex. How do you get into that topic gracefully? You should both feel comfortable, perhaps in one of your homes or in a dimly lit lounge, says Puhn. Just dont talk about it when either of you has had more than one drink.

6. Timing Are you in the mood now? What about now? If one person is raring to go and the other gives compliance sex, it will not only fail to be physically gratifying but also to produce emotional connection, says Grenny. Its better to talk about not wanting sex, but how do you say no without it sounding like never? Touch your mate, smile and suggest another time, says Puhn. This says I love you and want to be intimate, but not tonight. Be sure to follow through on the follow-up appointment.

7. Feedback Discuss what turns you on  and what doesnt  as unnatural as it may feel. Our partners arent mind readers, explains Dr. Queen, who suggests starting with, There are things I think about, sexually, that I never mention. From there, a general Can we talk about this more? usually does the trick. During the act, maneuver into position and make sounds of pleasure to encourage your partner toward a certain behavior, says Dr. Block. Men appreciate these nonverbal prompts. They also respond well to comments that are about you, rather than about him. So instead of do this," try, When you do this, its hot for me.

8. Planning This may sound utterly unromantic, but couples should talk about how to fit sex into their busy schedules. Americans have intercourse an average of a bit more than once a week, says Dr. Block. But it's quality, not quantity that counts. Dr. Block suggests deciding how much is mutually acceptable, and whether that includes quiet sex while visiting relatives and unexpected quickies.If one of you is a morning sex person and the other an evening sex person, calendar a compromise: a weekend afternoon delight or an after-work assignation, says Dr. Queen.

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