Hayley shares her personal stories of feeling shy, socially anxious, ‘not good enough’ and fearfully avoiding the good things in life. Growing her confidence through coaching, gradually stretching her comfort zone and connecting with others, she now uses everything she has learned to help other people grow their confidence in her role as a coach. Hayley is passionate about connecting people with similar stories and creating safe, supportive spaces to make friends and try new things. Hayley dreams of a time when all of the strengths, skills and goodness in ‘quiet’ is recognised and appreciated as readily as being bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight is right now.

#TheVulnerabilityChallenge Day 23

Being seen as imperfect

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to do the things that we think we shouldn’t do. To behave in a way that doesn’t necessarily fit with how we’re seen. To do the things that scare us and show ourselves as the vulnerable, imperfect human beings we are.

I’ve given myself permission to do a whole load of stuff that I never before felt was okay – things that had been holding me back. And these are my permission slips…

There were parts of me I distanced myself from. I didn’t want to be different to anyone else. I wanted to blend in – not too loud and not too quiet. To never be criticised or judged. I tried to hide that I’m imperfect and make mistakes. That I’m as vulnerable as anyone else. And that I need help and care sometimes. I wanted to be seen as someone who’s strong and independent; quick and intelligent. I worried about being an inconvenience.

With the permission slips, I’m allowing myself to be seen. To be seen as imperfect and vulnerable and human. As Brené Brown says:

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do. The first step is giving us permission to show up.