Experiences of going to university and….surviving!

Life issues

This post, has to say the least, been difficult to write. I am not sure why exactly, but this has been a really big deal for me! So some people don’t fully understand what self esteem and self confidence is, basically it is a feeling of doubt in what you do, what you think as a person and it is easily affected by many things. That is what I understand it to be anyway.

I first want to say that I in no way think my experience of this is greater than others, fully understand some people have different experiences and in some cases worse ones 😦 . And I wanted to briefly share my experience and what I plan to do about it, because I am taking action. Well, I want to.

My self confidence means I do not like trying new things, I always overthink things and play out scenarios in my head thinking of the worst possibilites. I feel like I cannot move on in life until it comes to a point where I feel comfortable doing something, aware of the consequences, but still enjoying myself. Because I simply cannot enjoy myself and ‘live life to the full’! I want to be able to try new things, experience new places in my life. It’s weird, just trying to put it into words is so difficult!

An example of my self confidence is this very blog. I think only a handful of my friends are aware of this blog, I have chosen to not share it with all of my friends because in my mind I believe that my ‘friends’ will put me down about it with negative comments, like I say I play out the worst scenario and I believe this to be it.

I think societal pressures have caused people to have bad self confidence. Like, if we do something different that is not us (like me and this blog) then people look at you funny or say something negative, and that kind of thing would put me down and prevent me from doing anything else.

In societies defense, some people can be really supportive of what you do in life! I actually have told a few friends about my blog and plans for YouTube and they have been really supportive and encouraging. These are friends who do matter to me and this has definitely increased my confidence about making YouTube videos and making this blog no longer an anonymous blog. Even if YouTube does not work out, I will feel better knowing that I had tried something new and different.

I think to overcome this I want to make YouTube videos. That way, I am not just showing myself to my friends (If they happen to find my videos) but also everyone else. I sat infront of the camera and was filming my first video and I was shaking really bad and I was sooooo nervous, because I was thinking of what could be said, what could be thought of me, and is what I am doing really right? Just writing this, I am overthinking about if it’s right, like I want to post it but I don’t want to post it and it is unbelievably annoying me and I want to get past that feeling.

So that is my plan, for the upcoming future. I definitely think this is the right step forward for me. Anyone experiencing self confidence/ esteem issues should try and think about what they currently have in their life. Then think if all of that makes you happy and content, now you know there is something missing, it might be something you would never think of or it could be something simple. Mine was that I watch an excessive amount of YouTube and always wanted to do it, but I never have, until now. I am also going to take up running because I feel about unsure of my body image, but I want to mainly do it to help clean my mind and use the time spent to think about everything and feel positive. People say running is good, so I am gonna try it!

Try not to think you are someone who is little, stand tall and proud with a postive attitude and a positive outlook on life. Tidy your surroundings, clear junk out, start afresh and anew.

What are your experiences of this and is there any other way you might suggest to help overcome it and have better self confidence? Let me know

As I said before in a previous post, coming to University meant I tried new things; alcohol, clubbing… not sleeping 😛

I was worried about this because most (not all) people I would be meeting have at least tried this. Therefore, it was possible that I might have been pressured into trying these new things.

Thankfully, I was not peer pressured into these things as I thought I would have been. Which is weird but I was very glad.

A few days after starting Uni, I found myself trying some cider. People were confused as to why I did not drink, I said I personally did not want to because I was never exposed to it via family, and well it was something I just never considered in life.

The reason why I decided to try some cider, was I felt that, as I was around new people who were really understanding of my ‘lack of experience’ and they were not forcing upon me, which I respected!.

With the clubbing situation I was more nervous about. Maybe because of that awkward feeling of expressing oneself through the form of ‘intoxicated dance’ ( I say intoxicated because sometimes when I went out I had little to drink ) and sometimes just ‘dance’. My flatmates made me feel comfortable though and said we would stay in a group. I prefer going with friends to have a good time and enjoy ourselves!

To this day, my alcohol tolerance is very low (I am a lightweight) which is very good as I do not have to spend a lot of money (#studentbudget). To clarify, I don’t drink alcohol like its water, I actually rarely drink, only when going out, and I do not do that often! But I reach a point where my brain tells me to just not drink anymore, so I don’t.

This is just me telling you how I am surprised at people, I felt that this topic of alcohol would be a great source of people being ‘egged on’ to drink, but it wasn’t! People can be peer pressured, not into what I have talked about, but a lot of things, drugs and smoking to name a few examples.

You guys might get pressured into things so let me know about your experiences of peer pressure, and how you dealt withit! I hope that if you are soon to be a fresher, that your new friends respect you.

As I said in my previous post, I got very stressed over the summer up until my A Level results.

Stress can sometimes be difficult to deal with because, well…. not many people know how to deal with it! I stressed about results, about the exams, about ‘what would happen if I fail?’.

So here are some of my tips on how to deal with stress;

1. Try not to worry – It’s easy for me to say this if you are someone who stresses, but I found the more I worried the more I stressed. Genuinely, do something else if you are worrying about something. Take a break. Go back to it once you have calmed down, and thought things through away from the situation. It’s like, looking at it from a different perspective almost.

2. Managing your time – at University I really learnt that this was key! It is vital that you manage your time. If you set 2 hours to a certain task, do the 2 hours and no more. If you spend all day on one thing, say a project or coursework, you will lose focus, and not retain any of the information. And then you might stress because that time could have been spent doing other things so the stress and the worrying kicks in and then you have a meltdown!

3. Talk to someone – talking to someone, your friend or a relative, can be a great way to de-stress, they can possibly give you new ideas or help you take your mind of it all.

4. Try more sleep/ get a routine – I can guarantee you will have a love-hate relationship with sleep at Uni, the lack of sleep after the famous ‘all-nighter’ will kill you, and believe me you are very likely to do one! But then you will find yourself ‘napping’ after lectures. This messes up your body clock like crazy. Best thing to do is not to do an ‘all nighter’ but have a routine where you can still have a good social life yet get your work done and maybe even be in bed before 9 PM 😛

5. Do something new – trying something new that you have never done before but might enjoy is a great way to take your mind of things, you will look forward to it and it might mean you get all your work done so you won’t feel so bad about it. You could maybe try a new sport, join a new society. Anything!

They are just a few of the experiences/ things that I tried to do to not stress too much! And they actually worked, they worked for me and I hope that they could work for you.

A lot of the techniques I found to deal with stress came from the internet so below I have linked some sites that can hopefully help you! 🙂

This is from the NHS, it’s also useful for tips on dealing with anxiety and depression;