Pages

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Analysis: David is a Shitty Rapist

Spoiler Alert, we went to go meet David. Not that we arranged that meeting over e-mail or something. Not sure he even has one. All we knew is he was probably with Ronan thanks to files we pilfered from Fracture on the way out of his ranks, we knew Ronan was in New York.

THE CONCRETE APPLE!

Apparently he was working on some broken police women. Old friend who went off the tracks or something. FAR off the tracks. Wheel stops spinning! NO ONE IS HOME.

Anyways, we knew where he WAS keeping her. Some asylum for the criminally trackless or something. Tried there first. Tried to get some clues. Forwarding address or foot prints or something. MAY have made a bigger scene than I intended to.

THE BITCH AT THE DESK HAD IT COMING! I AM NOT A MA'AM!

Not old.

You're old.

...

......

.........

Oh yeah. So that didn't work. Went to go try something else. I can't remember what it was going to be anymore but it involved Ember. Probably best that didn't happen. Last thing I need is an assassination attempt from some DUCK FUCKER and a Bear!

So we were going to go try to track down Ember DUCK FUCKER and Bear when suddenly the walls started talking!

"Explain what it was you were doing there for starters."

I'm sure I was saying something before the walls requested an explanation that would lend some context to what the walls said but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. I was too busy FREAKING OUT FROM THE TALKING WALLS.

So I took a defensive position on the high ground! Climbed right up a dumpster.

"INTERLOPER!" I declared back at the walls only to find it wasn't the walls at all. That was major disappointment one of the day. It was the first of many. SO MANY.

Standing at the other end of the Alleyway was the second most dangerous man I have ever met. David FUCKING Banks. Although I didn't know it yet... or then rather. I find out later? KEEP READING.

I was still recovering from my disappointment when Mothy Mic Asshole Pants felt the need to punch me. Guess he wanted me to try again or something.

SO I DID!

"Umm... hello?" I asked. "Why were we where now?"

The asylum. Obviously. You go to a certain place, say certain things, and you've got to expect a certain reaction. I'm that reaction. So why were you at the asylum?"

"We are looking for someone. DANGEROUS SOMEONE. Stupid fucking plan... Are you a cop? I don't feel like going in for public disturbance today."

"Do I look like a cop?"

"No? MAYBE!"

He kind of did. Or at the very least he was scary like a cop. Hate cops. SUPER TACKY BLUE CLOTHES. Anyways, Moth pulls out a picture at this point with David Banks written on the back. I'm not homophobic or anything... but GAY.

"Oh. You have his picture. ROMANTIC!"

GAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

So yeah, he showed it to me. BLAM. Suddenly it hits me. I wasn't looking for a David Banks. I had one all along.

"APPARENTLY, you LOOK like someone dangerous," I said correcting myself now that I knew who it was."And you look like idiots. So, talk. What do you want so badly that you thought threatening Ronan was a good idea?""Threatening Ronan? I haven't even met him! Asking! People use WORDS and-"Never go to finish that thought. Forever dead it is. Instead, Moth told me to try try again with another punch because he is a horrible asshole.

"We were looking for you because Mr. Punchalot is a chicken shit and is afraid of losing his proxy hood thing status something. Also help. Help would be lovely."He gave a s stupid look using his stupid face. "Help? Really? I think you need more than I give you.""A cup can be filled a drop at a time!"

"I won't do it for free."

"See! No help! Murderers are no help!"

Shithead went to hit me again. I used my SUPER KONG FU POWERS to dodge and elbow! It was in impressive. You all should of seen it. I was all like 'Voom' and he was all like 'GAH!' and we were black silhouettes against a white sheet or something.

You would have loved it. SUPER KONG FU!

"How expensive?"He then pointed at Moth.

"Him," he said.I spent a few moment calculating my options and the potential costs of and losses associated with David's request and David's reputation. I came to find there was only one appropriate response to such a question. I had to do the morally right thing."FUCKING SOLD!" I yelled and I tried to hand him over but MEGAMOTH used his lasers and overpowered me. With his fist... in my gut... Asshole.David continued to push his request."Your obedience. For three days. And I'll do whatever you need me for."I bravely marched into the corner and let them talk, totally not crawling away in pain from gut punching.I assume Moth nodded while I was doing that. Or juggled. Juggling is the universal sign for 'Yes'. Its why so many jugglers get raped."Perfect. First things first, take off the mask."Again, I'm assuming there was more juggling here."You related to anyone in the business?"

'Shut your crazy ass up before I send you back to the white room for a little chat with whisper,' said David in an angry glare.

That was all I need to hear. I WILL NEVER GO BACK INTO THAT GOD FORSAKEN ROOM.

So I stopped talking. Why risk it?

"Well?" said David turning his attention from me and back to Moths-for-Brains.Mothy help up two fingers, which I'm sure meant something in his own head but made shit for sense in real people thought.David stared, awaiting a true answer.

Mothy let loose a low growl that made my everything crawl and then answered, "I choose."I realized who David thought Moth looked like when he asked if he had any family in the game. It took everything I had in me not to gut him on the spot!Disappointment number two, right there. The no gutting. THE GUTTING NEEDED TO HAPPEN.Also. Moth sounds like shit. His voice brakes and changes pitch like a child choking on a puppy. That is to say often and with puppy noises.Which was kind of funny thinking about that."Good boy," Grinned David.
That made Mothie growl again, though. All of the disgusting skin crawls. FUCKING ALL OF THEM.

NEED to gut him.

"Now now. You're mine for three days. I can call you what I like. Now come on, staying in the streets is hardly safe."

"Teacher, Do I stay or am I being kicked out of the class room?"

"You can stay."

"Extra credit!"I was so excited. With David's reputation, I was gonna get to see Moth get REALLY GUTTED.He didn't seem as amused. Kept molesting his own forehead. Assumably in angst. MOTH ANGST!"Just control yourself or you'll end up in the white room with whisper."

"Yes Mr. Banks."Couldn't help but grimace. That stupid fucking room.So anyways, he brought us to an abandoned warehouse.I KNOW RIGHT?!"I think I saw this is a movie... We're gonna die. You're going to kill us aren't you?"

"Not today. You've still got at least two days. No one will bother us here.""Proxies always know just what to say.""White room."Had to seriously weigh my options here. Death... or getting to watch Moth get tortured physically, mentally, and sexually....Couldn't imagine getting a better chance to gut Moth once David was done with him so whatever... I stayed."I'll be good..."Finally we got in the damn death trap."Strip," demanded Mr. Banks to Mothicles. Did you know Moth wears two layers of clothes? Two shirts, two pants, two socks, etcNeither did I. Always thought he was just kind of Chubby.Guess not.

Once Moth was good and barren, David moved in close and put a hand to his cheek. "Are you scared?"Moth juggled."I seem to have that effect on people. I am such a perfect villain, aren't I? I think that's the real reason he chose me. I am the perfect shadow to scare people along the correct path."Spooky stuff right? I was sooooo certain gutting followed by gutting was near.

Cue disappointment number 3. FUCKING THREE."Frankly, I'm sick of it."And with that he moved a step away from moth again."...Sick of it?""You've gone this far in order to discover whether or not you've betrayed the slender man. That speaks for itself in my opinion. Wait here three days. Then you can leave. There are supplies in the warehouse. Help yourself to them. I refuse to be your villain.""... Thank you."After that I asked him some questions. Nothing important. Here is the long and short if it.Penetrating loops:He can break them or something, but he has to be there. I wanted blood but apparently just having a small part of him would take weeks to get the desired result.Duckie's/Gargoyle's Supply Cache's:He apparently had no idea. Or something.I Requested a Mark From Him:FUCKER SAID NO

...

So the long and short of this whole thing is David is the worst rapist ever, he was no help with the exception of the supplies he let us pilfer from the warehouse, and nothing good came of this.

Although Moth seems happier. Stupid fucking proxy dilemma must be solved. He does not deserve to look ANYTHING like Duckie. He lacks an 8th of Duckie's resolve. Needing other people to validate himself.

WEAK PIECE OF SHIT.

I took him to a few churches after our three days were up. I know Moth isn't exactly alter boy age but I wanted to see his smug glare ruined for good. Why do wishes never turn into fishes?

Oh, and we found a runner at one of those churches. Stole him. He wanted out of town anyways. Whatever. He'll thank us when he wakes up.