The blog of author Dennis Cooper

‘The earliest recipe of the Bûche de Noël shows up in Pierre Lacam’s 1898 Le memorial historique et géographique de la pâtisserie. The earliest mention however is a couple of years earlier in Alfred Suzanne’s 1894 La cuisine anglaise et la pâtisserie where he notes in passing that it is (was?) the specialty of a certain Ozanne, presumably his friend Achille Ozanne (1846-1898). Of course we have no idea of what this looked like. An article in the French newspaper Figaro adds an interesting tidbit (see Pierre Leonforte, “La bûche de Noël : une histoire en dents de scie,” Figaro, 17 December 2000): according to Stéphane Bonnat, of chocolatier Félix Bonnat her great grandfather’s recipe collection from 1884 contains a recipe for a roll cake make with chocolate ganache. Admittedly she makes no claim to this being the first bûche de Noël.

‘One of the famous stories about this French dessert is associated with Napoleon Bonaparte of France. He issued a proclamation, as per which, the people of Paris were ordered to close the chimneys of their houses, during winters. It was thought that entry of cold air into the houses was causing spread of illnesses and the proclamation was aimed at prevention of such diseases. It was during this time that Buche de Noel or yule log cake was invented in Paris. As use of hearths was prohibited, they needed some sort of traditional symbol that can be enjoyed with family and friends during the festive season that falls in winter. Thus, this cake became a symbolic substitution around which the family could gather for storytelling and other holiday activities.

‘It makes sense that the cake, like so many other Christmas traditions (think Santa, decorated Christmas trees, Christmas cards, etc) dates to the Victorian era, to a time of genteel, bourgeois domesticity. In France, in particular, a certain romantic image of peasant traditions had become part of the story the French told themselves about themselves and while the average Parisian bourgeois could hardly be expected to hoist logs into their 4th floor apartment, they could at least show solidarity for their country cousins by picking up a more manageable bûche at the local pâtisserie. That the result was a little kitsch fit the middle class sensibility too.’ — collaged

Mornet was inspired by a treasure found in Guadeloupe: cocoa. The palace pastry chef wished to work with cocoa bean to the extreme. As an outcome, he has concocted a splendid trompe l’oeil yule log brilliantly recreating the famous pod. Sliced it show the mucilage.

In terms of ingredients, note that it has the particularity of being gluten-free. Far from being a drawback since by using rice flour, this yule log is even creamier and lighter, what a happiness! The chef also used beans from Bali. In addition to chocolate, Jimmy Mornet added black rice bringing some body to the dessert.

With his “L’écrin” yule log, Dominique Costa of The Peninsula Paris bets on modernity while remaining in line with the place Asian origins and twisting it with a French pastry know-how.

But what does this palace yule log have in store? Your taste buds will fall for the charm of chocolate mousse smoked with sandalwood, harmoniously mixed with the sourness of a soft mandarin – passion fruit heart. Finally, there goes the crispy buckwheat biscuit topped with dulce de leche cream.

The sweet-toothed foodies can find the “L’écrin” yule log in limited edition from December 17 to 31, 2018 for €98 (serving 6 to 8 people) and upon booking at least 48 hours before.

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Available in store starting December 8, 2018 the La Clef d’Or yule log is shaped like a treasure chest combining estheticism and love of good food. No need to say this yule log will create quite the surprise and the amazement in all your foody guests.

In terms of flavors, this creation perfectly combines touches of chocolates, passion fruit and toasted hazelnuts.

Box made of 42% chocolate with passion fruit notes, toasted hazelnuts and milk chocolateOnly upon order starting December 8, 2018Rate for 6/8 servings: €75

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When a star chef and an artist team up to create a Christmas log, it gives a geometric and delicious red panda: drawn by Richard Orlinski, the best-selling French artist in the world, he hides a nutty-orange crunchy biscuit, caramelized hazelnuts, an orange marmalade and a light vanilla mousse.

This winter, Sverre Saetre invites us to experience a Scandinavian Christmas alongside Ladurée. To do so, the Norwegian pastry chef came up with a signature yule log: “Tine”.

This yule log colored with red and white displays an original shape inspired by the traditional wooden boxes, the “Tine” to be pronounced “tee-nah”. In Norway, the latter is often used to transport pastries and other sweet treats during family reunions or big family events.

To make us travel to northern Europe, the Norwegian chef was inspired by the typically Scandinavian flavors. The “Tine” signature yule log is made of a whipped ganache like a rice pudding, a morello cherry and spices compote as well as a delicious rose mousse. The whole lays on an almond dacquoise and a crispy macadamia nuts base.

To enhance the whole, the log is topped with the “Selburose”, an 8-arm star depicting a rose coming from the city of Selbu in Norway. And to bring the final touch to his creation, Sverre Saetre put a small golden dot signed “God Jul” to wish us a “Merry Christmas” in his birth-language.

Called “Le Flocon du Burgundy Paris” [Burgundy Paris Flake], this yule log is a creation with a clean design in 3 dimensions revealing an incredible assembling work wonderfully mixing chocolate-caramel and chocolatey branches put on a transparent plexiglass structure.

“Visually speaking, I wanted to transcribe the alliance between the two fantastic worlds, the Holidays one and the High Jewelry one around a creation reminding us of childhood taste. The idea is to be able to present it as a centerpiece on the table and serve it cut into six very distinct slices.” Burgundy Paris pastry chef Pascal Hainigue tells us.

In terms of flavors, this entremets bets on 62% cocoa Macaé dark chocolate from Brazil and caramel.

To go even further in the greed, this yule log unveils several layers including first of all a flour-less dark chocolate cake, then a crispy cookie based on “crêpe dentelle” sprinkles, a dark chocolate mousse and a soft heart based on caramel cream and cocoa beans nibs and finally a shiny glaze enhanced by some gold leaves.

Please note this sublime yule log will be available to order in limited edition starting December 1, 2018 for €110 (serving 6 people). It will be also possible to discover the flavors of Burgundy yule log through a revisit by the plate at the new Le Charles bar and Le Baudelaire restaurant from December 15 to 26, 2018.

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This year Maison Lenôtre Chef Guy Krenzer and his teams put on a spurt to offer the “Odyssée Gourmande” collection; a collection created in partnership with French artist Michaël Cailloux. Seduced by Michaël Cailloux’s colorful work filled with green, animal and cosmic details, Guy Krenzer wanted to tell about the antic travels combining pagan legends and winter solstice to the tale of the Mages.

And the outcome is esthetically marvelous and taste oh-so good. This signature yule log 2018 by Maison Lenôtre invites us to a travel thanks to flavors from the three continents which are the birthplace of the animals in the tale.

First of all, there’s Asian lemon, then African chocolate and finally European hazelnut. To make you drool even more, this “Odyssée Merveilleuse” yule log hides under a delicious layer of almond paste and biscuit, a crispy biscuit with cocoa and hazelnut, a cream with lemon zests, an explosive light baba soaked with lemon juice and finally a gourmet lemon-infused egg whites mousse.

And for even more greed, three delights are available as sides to remind you of the presents brought by the Mages.

First, there’s a chocolate coulis with no added sugar (a blend of cocoa beans from Tanzania, Ghana and Sao Tomé) to serve warm, then small “Candi” lemons made of almond paste symbolizing gold and finally crispy toasted and caramelized hazelnut sprinkles for the myrrh.

And in addition to be delicious, this creation is beautiful, topped with large clouds cut in white chocolate and roasted puff rice.

Michele Dalla Valle, Hôtel de Berri restaurant executive chef, came up with a yule log inspired by the Zuppa Inglese, a cake coming from Tuscany.

For those who don’t know it, Zuppa Inglese is traditionally made with sponge fingers soaked in alchermes – a liquor based on plants – and set in layers and covered in crème patissiere.

On a torrone bed covered in chocolate, Michele Dalla Valle put four tasty and colorful Christmas bulbs each flavored differently. We find a vanilla bulb with caramelized hazelnuts for the crunch, a pistachio bulb with fizzy praline for the regressive aspect, a raspberry bulb with fresh fruits and a dash of sourness and finally a lemon bulb with a well-seasoned jam to bring some bitterness.

This yule log is available from Monday December 10, 2018 at Le Schiap restaurant and Le Bizzaz bar at Hôtel de Berri. Allow €15 per slice or €70 (available for sale upon booking) the yule log serving 6 to 8 people.

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“There’s no Christmas without a tree!”: in view of this fact, Café de la Paix pastry chef Sophie de Benardi came up with a wonderful yule log 2018 shaped like a… pine tree.

Raw, nature and without fuss at the same time, this creation unveils different layers in a game of superposition and several flavors: chocolate and pine cone.

To go further in the tasting, know that this yule log contains a dark chocolate mousse infused with pine tree, a pine cone cream and a crispy biscuit with pine nuts, a chocolate Sacher biscuit the whole surrounded by a fine layer of dark chocolate.

Displaying woody and scented notes with light bitter notes, the whole is mixed with the gourmet flavors of cocoa, this creation 2018 will catch many foodies’ eyes.

This yule log 2018 by pastry chef Sophie de Benardi is to be enjoyed on the spot, at Café de la Paix or to take away (to order 48 hours prior) from December 15 to 29, 2018.

Foodies can find this incredible yule log by Julien Alvarez exclusively at Le Bristol Paris, in limited edition, for €140 for 8 servings.

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Hôtel du Collectionneur chef Bryan Esposito came up with a beautiful copper cage made of dark chocolate and topped with beautiful iridescent feathers.

Once the cage is off, we discover a yule log that’s more gourmet than anything with comforting winter flavors. I’m talking sweet woody-scented mousse infused with pine cones and containing a heart made of dog rose confit, topping a three walnuts and chestnuts chunks biscuit enhanced with a layer of kumquat fruit marmalade.

To celebrate the end of year celebrations, Pastry Chef Pablo Gicquel of Le Crillon has designed a Christmas log, a nod to the mythical address of the Place de la Concorde since it is inspired by one of the fluted columns of the Marie-Antoinette Suite where once, the famous queen would have taken her piano lessons.

Almonds from Languedoc, tangy jam of blueberry and blackcurrant cooked over a wood fire.

Available from December 1st, 2018 to January 6th, 2019.(For 6 to 8 people). 120 €

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Every year Shangri-La Hotel Paris chef Michael Bartocetti creates a new yule log each one more original than the last. After amazing us last year with his spinning top, the chef plays again the childhood card by offering us a train: the Shangri-La Express.

Think: a light chocolate mousse with lemongrass and a fresh and delicious banana confit with vanilla and lime. The whole topping a crispy peanut and salt flower biscuit and a flour-less dark chocolate cake. In terms of décor, note that the bumpers and the chimney are filled with the excellent peanut praline coated with white chocolate. The little train wagon is stuffed with chocolate/lime truffles with a lovely fizzy taste.

PRICES: 8 personnes: 128 €

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As always, Nicolas Cloiseau from La Maison du Chocolat wanted to dazzle us, surprise us and seduce us with his creations concocted especially for these end-of-year celebrations in 2018.

Nicolas Cloiseau and his team have thus imagined this crafted tree of 78 dark or shiny dark chocolate bubbles, of six different diameters, including eight skits chiselled with overlays of dark chocolate, milk, ivory, or covered with gold! By getting closer, we discover the elves and gifts ready to be delivered.

Sapin Bulle de RêvePrice: € 1,400One size 5.5kg and 80cm in heightAvailable in stores from November 14, 2018

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The greediest among us will not miss to stop at the InterContinental Marseille – Hotel-Dieu, the most luxurious and most majestic hotel in Marseille, perched on the hill of the Panier, to taste the log concocted exceptionally by its Pastry Chef, Yoan Dessarzin. Named “Altitude 26.16”, it drew inspiration from the mountains and snowcapped peaks, the central theme of the school’s 2018 Christmas. In the shape of a red and brown gondola, an indispensable means of transport in the mountain resorts, the log, topped with its chocolate pebbles, hides under a chocolate mousse of Brazil Cuvée Limeira 50% a soft biscuit with hazelnut from Piedmont, a compote of cassis and a Lincang Tea Jelly from Yunnan. The mixture gives the delicious log notes of citrus fruits and red berries.

The youngest foodies will be in heaven since Café Pouchkine has decided to join forces with Masha and Michka the two heroes of a Russian animated series created in 2009.

For these Holidays, they will be found on an exclusive yule log that will satisfy small gourmets’ taste buds. Next to them, Michka’s beautiful house to be enjoyed and made of a nougat cream, a caramelized pear compote, a honey madeleine cake, a honey whipped ganache and a crispy almond biscuit.

For the others, Café Pouchkine reveals the “Cigarette Russe” yule log. It’s not only beautiful and graphic, this yule log has also been created by pastry chef Nina Métayer. Reminding us of the famous “cigarette cookies”, this yule log is a skilled blend of flavors and textures: hazelnut, bergamot and chocolate.

Masha and Michka yule logAvailable from December 14, 2018Rate: €80 for 4 to 6 persons

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Frédéric Cassel, a French pastry chef who was introduced to high-end pastry by Pierre Hermé, is one of these chefs, and today he presents his Christmas log for 2018: Origami, Les Animaux du Pôle.

This immaculate white log is a marvel of fabrication. Composed of a Sacher biscuit, a chocolate-raspberry cream and a chocolate mousse Illanka 63% Peru, it will surely delight young and old.

This special InterContinental Carlton Cannes log has to be reserved 48 hours in advance. To celebrate the end of 2018, our Chef Pâtissier, Hubert Coulange, was inspired by the famous century lemon tart of the InterContinental Carlton. His creation, combining tradition with modernity, could almost be put under the Christmas tree. Its original chocolate design reveals the soft lemony flavors of the French Riviera.

A crunchy dark chocolate Jamaya 70% shell with a creamy milk mousse with honey in the heart. The sweet malty flavor of fir honey is then contrasted by a soft biscuit with fleur de sel that reveals its subtle taste.

On sale take away from December 17th.Available at the bar Les Heures from December 10, the share: 18 €

Called “Gypset”, this ultra-gourmet creation is dressed in a lovely pink velvet coat covered in precious pink flowers; it blends Tahiti vanilla with pink grapefruit and blue tea scented with cherry blossom. Delicate and unexpected flavors.

In the details, the almond biscuit is made of a crunchy praline with a slightly salted crumble, puff rice, pecans, hazelnuts, almonds and a dash of milk chocolate.

Serving 6 to 8 people – €80From December 1 to 23, 2018Upon order

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Inspired by Bucherer’s watchmaking passion, Westminster Hotel pastry chef Bryan Esposito appropriated the codes of the pocket watch and imagined himself as an English lord comfortably seated in a club chair at Duke’s Bar, to create this piece to chew refined and greedy.

When developing his creations, this bold leader always keeps in mind the quote of Salvador Dali “beauty will be edible or will not be” to combine greed with pleasure of the eyes. This pastry does not escape the rule and reveals the needles of a clock on a dome in the heart of a red box surmounting a Breton shortbread.

An invitation to discover “By Bucherer’s Time” at the famous Duke’s Bar at the Westminster Hotel between 4pm and 6pm from November 6 to January 31.

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Arthur Fèvre is the Pastry Chef of the two-star restaurant Le Pressoir d’Argent at the InterContinental Bordeaux – Le Grand Hôtel. Every year he designs an extraordinary Christmas log, for 2018 the theme is the meeting of levitation & immaculate white …

The Christmas log this year takes the shape of an opaque white winter landscape, imbued with lightness and purity. Consisting of two parts, the piece is surmounted by a veil suspended by about twenty white threads. As in lift in the air, it creates a feeling of floating motion. Below, the cake itself mimics the curves of this veil. Powdery, it evokes an immaculate snowy world.

Once again, Pastry Chef Yann Couvreur dazzles our eyes and fills our taste buds with his 2 beautiful and gourmet Christmas logs designed especially for the end of year 2018 celebrations.

First there is the signature Bûche. Rectangular, this log proudly displays little foxes as a decoration.

But under this chic design and sprinkled with cocoa, lurks a light mousse with blue vanilla, a soft pecan nut cake, a crunchy vanilla praline Pecan, a tasty caramel salt heart and roasted pecan nuts and finally a praline Pecan flower of salt.

For less connoisseurs, know that blue vanilla is harvested on the island of Reunion. For the Log Signature, it has been finely chiseled inside the foam.

This signature log is sold in a beautiful setting on which we also find the fox, now an edible emblem.

Then discover the “35 Haussmann” Bûche made of a thin layer of white chocolate, a light mousse of almond milk, a compote of fresh tangerine, roasted almond paste, a hint of fleur de sel and a soft biscuit with almonds.

Be aware that this log, in the form of Haussmannian decorative moldings, is an exclusive to find at the store Yann Couvreur Galeries Lafayette Gourmet.

Beautiful and tantalizing: here’s the creation thought up by La Réserve Hotel & Spa Paris team for these new Holidays.

Inspired by gold leather decorating restaurant Gabriel, La Réserve Paris two-Michelin star restaurant, the two chefs came up with a yule log perfectly reminds us of this both noble and elegant material.

Depending on the stores, the yule log wil, be available from Friday, November 30, 2018.

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As always Maëlig Georgelin realizes a very figurative log. This year The Santa Claus Trunk available at the Little Prince in Auray, Etel, Baud and Carnac. Inside this chocolate trunk, we discover the gift of Santa Claus: a Black Forest revisited! A soft cocoa and chocolate-covered biscuit, a Dark Peru Chocolate melting cream, “Amarena” candied cherries, an ultra light vanilla cream and very thin dark chocolate leaves. Limited series, for 6 people 55€.

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The Bûches de Noël et Galettes des rois of the Kings 2018-2019 Cédric Grolet au MeuriceThis year, it is not one but 2 logs presented to us by Hotel Meurice’s Cédric Grolet for the holidays of Christmas 2018. One for the shop and the other for the restaurant the Dalí.

This year, the talented chef returns to the traditional tastes of his childhood by highlighting the chestnut through revisit one of his signature dessert: Mont Blanc.

At the shop, you get the brown poached Christmas dessert: not always easy to work the iced chestnut without going to pastries too sweet. To overcome this, the chef chose to make his logs from the raw product. So he chose to work with his team the fresh chestnut to provide an ideal balance for his Christmas log.

The poached brown log, available to take away from December 18th.3 to 4 people or 6 to 8 people. 50 euros – 98 euros.Meurice pastry by Cédric Grolet, 6 rue de Castiglione 75001, ParisFrom Tuesday to Sunday, from noon.

The Log with smoked chestnut is to discover at Restaurant Le Dalí, from December 5 to 31, 2018 (every afternoon from 15:30 to 18h except 25 December), lunch or dinner 25 euros per share.

Under a delicate chocolate shell, we find the mousse and its creamy heart with chestnuts as well as the crunchy chestnut cracker-lemon hazelnut praline.

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p.s. Hey. People who’ve been attending this blog at length know that, when Xmas season rolls around and French patisseries set to outdoing each other with the originality and splendors of their special Xmas cake offerings, it’s an annual tradition here to line up said offerings in the context of a beauty pageant type of post, and today is the 2018 edition. Like I (and local friends) do every year, I/we will be purchasing and eating probably two (or three) of the contestants. While I look them over and mull, you are invited to window shop or vote for your favorite or whatever you like. In any case, that’s your local weekend. ** David Ehrenstein, Mahler would have had a field day. If he didn’t. There are also a shitload of extremely terrible French films that will never be released or seen outside of France that cavort in that setting. ** Bill, You’re like the little Dutch boy with your finger in the leaky dam, god love you. The Meinhof book is gorgeous, right? Yeah, Martin and Karolina’s books are always sights to behold at the very least. Pray tell what events you hit this weekend. I’ll do the same, starting with Hatsune Miku ‘live’ in concert tonight. ** MrsKeatonclaus, I can tell. And you’re festivizing me too. Me too, on the jeans. I’m spooked by the idea that Gap could go out of business. One of the problems with La Defense is that, after you check it out visually, do a 360 and so on, there’s nothing there. It makes the Champs Elysee seem like the bad part of town. It’s like Epcot. Twink bottoms are like Pret a Mangers, who do make a very good egg salad sandwich, to be fair. Except pickier. I’ll be off to enjoy the gray and chill at some point. May our psychic paths cross. ** Dominik, Hi, Dominik! I’m good, how are you? Apparently it snowed for about 20 seconds the other day in the part of Paris where Zac lives but not in mine. Do you prefer the shop dead or crazy? I’m betting dead? My week was okay. I did go to the Xmas Fair just last evening. It’s shockingly pretty and enjoyable. They did a very good job. It has all the usual Xmas-y huts selling scarves and hot wine and raclette and trinkets and stuff, and they also have lots of rides, even a Xmas-themed dark ride. I might go back. Otherwise, it’s mostly been TV script work which remains a total pain, but oh well. Tonight I’m going to see the Japanese holographic pop star Hatsune Miku in concert, and that should be cool, especially because every Cosplay kid in Paris will be there decked out and excited. Have a fantastic weekend doing everything you most want to do! ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi. Yes, I will re: Glasgow. I’m excited too! I was thinking that your class seemed really, really short, so I do hope they do the logical and right thing and extend it. ** Steve Erickson, France has a paucity of streaming services, or good ones. There’s been talk of the Cinematheque possibly starting one, which is hugely sensible and would be great, and it would be government funded and therefore doable with high quality even. Great about your editor’s enthusiasm! I don’t know Tropical Fuck Storm, no. Hm. Not sure if I’m in the mood for that sort of sound, but I’ll dip and see, thanks. Yeah, the raves on the new 1975 album are nuts. They’re pretty clever, maybe too so? The new 10cc? So maybe it’s warranted? ** Misanthrope, Happy that one of my boys put stars in your … eyes? Oh, right, I remember that film now, or I remember you or others talking about it. Right. Okay, wow, LPS is being a total asshole. Sorry, but, yeah, he sounds like a Trumper without the politics. That’s disappointing. Ugh. ** Okay. You’re invited and welcome to be the judges of this year’s Buche crop, if you’re so inclined. See you on Monday irregardless.

Hi Dennis, how are you? Sorry for the absence. Really busy. Hrmm, I’d like that levitating white cake. Simple and lovely. I hope you had a nice weekend when you see this. Thank you! ( What a pretty post! )

i woke up at 3 a – m in the middle of the night to come here and read this, which made me very hungry, like a morning wood of the stomach, or a throat based in gurgitation. if you catch my drift.

was saying to dora slash dominik that i’ve just last night fallen (jumped really) from a water tower ladder a decent few meters and landed on a brick. it punctured my neck, in pretty much the only place it could have punctured not to cause serious damage [any higher and i’d have cosmetic or god forbid brain damage, any lower i’d have serious damage to breathing organs] so that’s a close call i’m unlikely to forget. i wasn’t sober, obviously. dumb shit like that. it’s good in some ways, it’ll enliven the young-old look of my face [im a young one but my face looks a lot older than it is].

we have this great half-french half-japanese fusion patisserie here in christchurch and i’m consistently in awe of the level of craft they put in. i might head in there for some christmas edibles once i get paid on tuesday (i have $0 for now rip). tell mrs claus, your heart, then your brain that i say hi.

Dennis, Okay, I need to remember to try and get one this year. There are places in DC that have them and they look pretty damn good. I think in this selection, I’d go with the white column one and the one with the bear. I really like my Buches to be log shaped. I have no idea why, but that just feels right to me.

Well, with LPS, it’s more like Tekashi69 but without the fame, money, success, and racketeering charges. That’s one of his heroes and he did tell Kayla that that’s what 69 would’ve done. He’s so influenced by peers and these “heroes” of his.

We talked about it last night and he’s unapologetic. He says the VP disrespected him and NOBODY disrespects him without getting disrespected back. Ugh.

One thing that’s weird is that he was totally incredulous re: this second teacher. He says it never happened. It wasn’t in the original report and came later. He’s probably right and this second teacher is lying to back up the first teacher/VP’s story, which he readily admits to. Kind of like his fight last year where the two teachers got caught lying about his hitting the one teacher. But still…as I told him, nothing that first lady did or said was “disrespectful,” and even if it was, you go to class and keep your fucking mouth shut.

As I pointed out to him, only one person got hurt in this as far as consequences: him.

But yeah, he’s a total dick sometimes, and a lot of it has to do with trying to impress his friends and show off…which is something they don’t do at all. I wish he’d see that he only sets himself up to get fucked.

Of course, on top of that, you just don’t talk to anyone like that, especially a woman in school who’s just doing her fucking job.

Hi Dennis
Every morning i sit in front of the computer, drink my coffee, and watch/enjoy your blog. thank you very much for the art you give out in the world.
Yeeh my favourites : DC’s escorts select. creativecreative. i just remember
„i put a rose tubers in the back and lets have a long time relationship, and i breed the plant how lovingly like a gardener“ hahahaha
Some weeks ago i read GOD JR. i think the only one translation in Germany. simple good stuff, creative, modern. 5 star book ( good for me not to much destroying )
Yes is a good feeling to make art. i like to drawing boys.
if you like to see

shes charming
she couldnt be nicer
what a pleasure it was to slice her
shes magnificient every ounce
cos its whats inside that counts

haha this day makes me think of that movie with
Chris Farley where they are teaching him to read and they teach him upper and lower-case and loses it, “Do you want my head to explode?” i know in the U.S. there is the tradition of fruitcakes and pumpkin rolls. i love fruitcakes. a good coffee cake might be my favorite food these days. buy two! i cannot decide right away, i am avoiding hazelnut this year, crispy, nutty, wet, and mousse. i like the passionfruit, but its too common now with the classic Hurricane. i like orange flavor at christmas. if Gap goes out of business, cords! current style – adidas tee/swim trunks/crocs hehe Florida. I dont get the La Defense thing. I just see Hitler and an atomic weapon when I look that way. My heart is torn in two in Paris part is at St. Laurent and part is at Lavalette. My soul is on the hill. My bones are scattered at Visoges. Ah the Paris of before Rimbaud. Never been to Epcot, people here have tried to explain it to me. Kiss and Phantom of the Park ruined amusement parks for me forever. I keep waiting for the Kiss concert. “Do you know it has fish on it?” I can order food in Paris like a champ now. Im so blah about boys these days. It takes a stunner. Enjoy! I’m staying inside today and watching TV. And maybe starting on some writing.

Hey Dennis, my Dutch boy days are over, I think. A Hatsune Miku concert sounds like a totally Parisian thing, look forward to the report. I’m not 100% decided on which leak to stick my finger into tonight; will probably be Maggi Payne’s concert at the Center for New Music.

Tough buche choices this year, as usual. I love the cocoa log of course, but the cute little red pillow is adorable.

I didn’t think of 10cc, but that makes sense. Elvis Costello came to mind, except doing all the styles he’s covered in a decade on a single album (and covering things he would probably have done were he a much younger man, like glitch, dubstep and the Autotune folk music of Bon Iver’s 22, A MILLION.) Listening to it now makes me realize how far we’ve come from punk’s idea of year zero and a narrow range of cool influences. This album draws on Burial on one song, Michael Bolton on the next. But they get down to very specific borrowings, stealing a riff from Joy Division’s “Disorder” and essentially writing their own versions of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and “Fitter Happier.” What’s weird to me is that its lyrics overtly bring up a critique of irony and postmodernism that I thought we were long past while the music basically epitomizes postmodernism in its disregard for the differences between “high” and “low” culture (as this is defined in the current music scene.) I guess that makes for good think pieces.

Hi Dennis.. it’s been so long, but I love this day each year so thought I’d drop in and say hi. How are you? I haven’t kept up with the blog well, mostly because my laptop is really old now and can’t load it most days. I do follow Permanent Green Light on facebook so have seen what’s been happening with that and I hope I’ll be able to see it sometime. For what it’s worth, my favourites out of these are the first one, the red panda, and the suspended white one. I hope you’re well. I miss the blog. K x

Happy Buche de Noel day! I vote for the red panda for very superficial reasons (a chocolate version of a creature traditionally represented as a gummy) or the one that’s sort of a snowy landscape (I imagine that one is pretty dreamy in real life). Tell me which you end up picking!
Yeah, I totally agree that a collaborative director is key. I spent a long time at my last school working in shows that were really just “directors visions”, which lead to a lot of rehearsal processes that were total drags. I just saw a preview of a show that was a mix of numerous translations of Uncle Vanya intertwined, with characters constantly rearranging and a really interesting and cool use of gesture and space. It’s called “Minor Character” by this theater company called New Saloon, it was really fantastic. While I’m starting to realize that Chekhov adaptations are perhaps as obnoxiously overwhelming American theater as Shakespeare adaptations, this one is really worth checking out.
Oh, I have no doubt the ARTE show is gonna rule! I just wasn’t sure how much they were trying to polish it up. Glad the initial experiments sound like they’re intact. Keep me updated how it goes!
I started writing a story that has some more formal guidelines, but I think I jumped into the first draft too quickly after thinking them up. I’m not sure though, I have a concept that I’m excited about, and know that in the past when I try and outline it can really bog down the draft. That might just be when I give myself a plot and character though, since that’s always felt weird and a little boring. So I’m trying to work out other ways to outline that are more sensory limitations and based in ways I’m allowed to write perspective-wise, i that makes any sense haha. Have you ever outlined that way?
Have a great weekend picking out the Buche!!

not sure if my previous comment posted (says it timed out?), so if not I’ll re-ask my question here but much more concisely than I did previously…

What are yr fave films by female directors? Besides Agnes Varda & Chantal Akerman, my knowledge is pathetically limited. I mean, I guess Breillat & Denis look interesting, but otherwise I have no idea where to start

Hi Dennis. I know it’s been a while. My social work helping homeless people job has consumed my life, along with school, and both of those make life quite disturbing and constantly stressful. The semester is almost over, thankfully. If it’s okay, I guess I need to rant to someone. I got turned down by the one publisher I was hoping on most and I’ve kind of just given up hope completely now. People will say that you should keep submitting a hundred times and never give up bla bla bla, but like, if there are only 3 or 4 publishers out there that do transgressive fiction and LGBT fiction as well, and they require you to be already published with a nice well-known name and shit, then it’s basically worthless. Life has been pretty empty ever since I finished the book and I haven’t had time to start something new thanks to bullshit school/work. Now I don’t even see a point anyway. When I was a little tween, I remember looking up to members of my family and other artists that had tossed that part of them aside because they had to deal with the labor of their tedious lives, and I could never quite understand why, but now I do. Self-publishing through Amazon is like cutting your dick off and putting it in a blender, imo.
Overall this year has been pretty shitty. Even the music has been pretty bland. If only I had wrote some bullshit that’s already been written a hundred times in an alt-lit scene where it’s only 80 pages of tweets and texts or if I wrote about the gay hook-up grindr scene like so many others.

Dennis, Dennis, Dennis! Yes, just in time for the bûches! Whoopwhoop!
Let’s DO this.
– Park Hyatt coca bean log. Looks like an alien buttplug doubling as a medication-delivery mechanism for people suffering from eating not enough fibre. Disgusting. Love it.
– Bûche de Noël ‘toquée’. Trying to make a paper cylinder look appetizing. Boring. Pun intended. Next.
– Dominic Costa faux-Japanese log. Another paper cylinder. But that one has some some pretty indecipherable ink-writing on it, which probably spells out ‘eat shit you exoticist wanker’ but it works. Strangely.
– Treasure chest ‘clef d’or’ log. Is that a real key? Is that real gold? Would win me over but chocolate and passion fruit is actually a gross combination. Sad.
– Geometric red bear log. Dude, do you really need me to tell you what I think of that? Have we met? Oh, it’s a panda? That’s ok, they’re still bearish. Winner. Also, orange and hazelnuts and vanilla: THAT’S how you do fruity chocolate motherfuckers.
– Scandi-log ‘Tine’, pronounced ‘tee-nah’, whatever. Eh. It’s pretty. But my socks are un-knocked-off (knocked-on?). Looks well tasty though.
– The Snowflake. In a non-ironic way I guess? Actually I really like the design but come on, it’s Noël – what is this, ‘stay thin for the party season’-log? Fuck this.
– Odyssée Gourmande Lenôtre Bûche. Aw, cute. A donkey! A Camel! An elephant! A fucking GIRAFFE! Can you eat the animals? It doesn’t say. A serious contender we have here ladies and gents!
– Boules by Michele. Probably tasty but frankly, not the best aesthetic. I dunno, man. I’ve seen bigger.
– Pine tree in gold, star upon star. Ok, it’s pretty. But I don’t want to eat it. Pine tree flavour? Who wants toilet-cleaner ganache wrapped in gold foil? Pas moi.
– Truffled faux-box log. That one’s real nice looking. But wait, what’s that, Actual truffle flavour? Julien, you mad posho, what is this – a joke aimed at people who have never tasted truffles? Shit, I’ll take the toilet-cleaner combo over this one! Not *everything* goes with chocolate!!
– Copper cage from Hôtel du Collectionneur. Ooh, oooh! So pretty! Pine, again… whatever I’ll ignore it; walnut and chestnut, that’s more like it! Good stuff.
– A white log in the shape of a marble column. It’s white. It’s pretty. It’s classy. You know what it’s not? Festive.
– the Shangri-La Express. Haha! Little steam trains! Ok, that was an easy win. It’s fun and it looks delish, and what’s that I see.. peanut butter?! Love it. None of that poncey pine and truffle shit. Give us the stuff everyone loves, including kids. Yes.
– holy shit man how many bûches are there? Not sure I can do them all… I might need to excise some.
– Giant choco-buttons-tree with weird choco-machinery in them. Very cool! But what does it taste like? Who knows. Style over substance, looks like to me.
– Russian log with a bear and a little tree in front, they say it’s for kids, I say who cares, I like it, of course. The parents’ log looks positively boring in comparison. Some people really take xmas too seriously.
– White lace-cube log for precisely those people. I bet they also decorate their trees with white and silver tat. Man, there is a special place in hell for them. It’s on Kitsch Level, and John Waters** will force-feed them cartoon figurines made of marshmallow till they choke, forever.
– InterContinental Carlton Cannes log. Holy shit, ok, ok, I take it all back – classy can work! When it’s done well and meticulously. Which this is. Maaan!
– Levitation immaculate white bûche. Ok, and here is an example of how minimalist and white, a style I previously bashed, can also work; again, *only* when it’s done exquisitely. This is cool.
– Ok, I’m skipping right to the end because I can’t take my eyes off that last one. What in the holy blue Fuck is it??? Some kind of animal body-part? It looks terrifying. I kinda like it.

So the winner is…. the red bear/panda. I think. Or maybe the Lenôtre scene with the critters? Damn. Which one are you getting?

**speaking of! John Waters!! Is the reason I came over to say hi, because I just saw your and Zac’s awesome creation made it to his top10 of the year, and I knew it would, or course, but anyway, congrats!!! And massive hugs to you both XXX

Ah, I know the Christmas season has truly arrived when the Bûche de Noël beauty pageant manifests in this blog’s demesne. Like many of the other people who commented the red panda one was cute but I think my favorite is the Arthur Fèvre’s winter landscape one… very evocative looking.

Speaking of evocative, right now I’m reading Adolphe Rette’s 1891 Symbolist classic MISTY THULE, which was republished by Snuggly earlier this year. The writing in it (as is often the case with French writers of that era) is extraordinary, and I highly recommend it. It’s not a long book (only 145 or so pages) but it’s taking me a bit of time to get through because I have to keep pausing to copy down all of the beautiful sentences that I keep coming across in it.

The HARLEM SMOKE DAY is maybe about 95% done. It’ll be somewhere over 30 MS pages and around 10,000 words, with close to 100 pictures. So much for keeping things concise, ha ha. Oh well. I’ll send it to you when it gets closer to the actual publication date, next month. I just wanted to get the main bulk of it done ahead of time, so I wouldn’t have to rush around and put it together at the last minute (as you know, when one has a new book come out there’s so many other little and big things one needs to do, so the last thing I need would be that!).

Not sure if my previous comment got posted or not, but if it didn’t i’ll add this on. Basically, the publisher said, “We appreciate the chance to read it. We found the work interesting and producing of an effect. Unfortunately, the it is not for us at this time. Thanks again. Best of luck with this.” It kind of bothers me that they couldn’t even check their grammar with their response. One of my friends argues that indie presses these days use print on demand sites and they want safe works while jacking off to the idea of transgressive works, so I shouldn’t feel like I have to be published by anyone anyway. My boyfriend argues the same and states that they only want to put their feet in transgressive and not take a deep dive. So I don’t know… I guess self-publishing is the only option at this point. But I don’t know how to sell/market shit to anyone either. It’s all really stupid and stressful.
Thanks for reading my rant and crazy rave.