You have a car. The engine is knocking. It gets shitty mileage. It takes 40 seconds to get up to speed after stopping at a red light. All of a sudden you hear a bang and see a hole punched through the hood, the piston having been thrown. Do you then call Michelin to bitch about your problems? You do if you work for $PrivateFinanceAdvisors, with the logic that the tire company ought to be able to fix the problem that's causing the tires to turn too slowly.

One thing that it definitely isn't is "random", Sparky. The problem will completely disappear the instant you add the minimum spec'ed memory to the machine and move $OurBigApp off the fucking underpowered database server and onto a dual-proc box with more than 500MB of memory just the way we told you to eight fucking months ago.

I don't believe that memory is our problem we face. We need a solution to this error! $YourBigApp is too slow and databse failing over!

File a ticket with Microsoft and tell them they need to make SQL Server run your 380GB production database in under 100MB of memory. With what appears to be a 486 DX/66 processor.

I just dumped a fucking laptop last week which has more power than their rack-mount which is groaning under the strain of a SQL Server and a dozen enterprise apps. That DB server memory problem is clearly being caused by our software.

To be fair, it is a Microsoft error by lm (2.00 / 0) #12Tue May 19, 2009 at 08:48:01 PM EST

As someone who once spent a lot of time trying to figure out why a Windows box kept firing `Registry Size Limit' errors when the registry was no where near the registry size limit, I can tell you first hand that you can't always take Microsoft errors at face value.

OTOH, having a minimally specced machine is asking for trouble.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.Cicero, The Republic

SQL Server ran just fine on this server when we bought it in 2000. And SQL Server is SQL Server! Regardless of the patches and service packs and other upgrades that have been applied! In fact, "upgrade" means that it should be faster, right? So it's clearly $YourBigApp! Escalate! Escalate! Escalate!

On a severely underpowered server that is running multiple apps. I've got a 45gig db on a dual proc 2.4Ghz, 8 gig ram box doing nothing but SQL and it takes over an hour to complete the backup of that. Wonder what their backup situation looks like?

Us: Your system is slow because of disk contention.
Customer: Our system has adequate resources, fix your buggy product and don't ask us to change the hardware.
Us: WTF? You're sharing LUNs between systems??
Customer: We were hoping you wouldn't notice that. But if you really think it's a problem, I guess we can change that.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

I am reminded of a time back in the late eighties I had to do some database work for a contracting house that was working with the US Navy. We were told that the software was to be run on a "Standard PC Compatible machine".

When I got there to install the software, I discovered, to my horror, that the machine was a 64k original IBM PC.---[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

"Shit you're the only one who picks up the phone or answers e-mails within a few days so this problem must be your problem because I don’t want to do anything else with it!"

“You’re not sending my box any light…on eight different SFPs.”

No joke this was the gist of a recent response:

“We power cycled our insanely expensive equipment that plugs into your box this past weekend because we couldn’t get logged into it. We still can’t get logged into it. We also power cycled your box by mistake. Could there have been a problem and your box downgraded its code for some reason when it was power cycled? Are you sure it isn’t a code problem on your box?”

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