10 Ways Spot A Midwest Wedding Crasher

Hello Wedding Enthusiast!

As you all know, we announced last month that we will be officially crashing weddings in the midwest in November!!! What?! A little exciting and a little crazy to be honest. Our first “Wedding Crash” will debut on Black Friday. We figured we would give you a few laughs and smiles as you fight the crowds.

Also, make sure to pick-up a copy of @Columbia Home! Some of the best Midwest Wedding Crashers episodes will be featured in their quarterly magazines starting February.

Since we may be visiting a wedding near you, we wanted to give you a few tips on how to spot us! Don’t be afraid to snap a pic with us or comment on our social media outlets with the hashtag #midwestweddingcrashers if you do end up spotting us. We enjoy the challenge of trying to go unnoticed! So here we go.

The go-to crasher trick: He’ll dance with an elderly guest — whose memory may be a little foggy, so she might assume he’s a family friend — and this will have the twin effects of: a) scoring instant credibility; b) looking charming in front of all the bridesmaids. Don’t trust this guy.

The go-to crasher trick: If he’s talking to someone from the groom’s side, he’ll say that he knows the bride; if he’s talking to the bride’s side, he’ll say that he knows the groom. It can be sneaky and effective — unless the bride and groom confront him together. Checkmate.

3. The wedding crasher’s personality is larger-than-life. (This sounds like us on a daily basis.)

The go-to crasher trick: The ultimate Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson-driven crasher fantasy is to bro-hug the groom, dance with the bride, catch the garter and then give a rousing speech (with a side of liquid courage). And you know as well as we do that at 99.9 percent of weddings, people you barely know don’t really act like that. So if someone does, keep your guard up.

4. The wedding crasher came in late or pushed through the receiving line. (We are always late. We were made for this!)

The go-to crasher trick: Crashers make their entrance at one of two times: a) boldly jumping into the receiving line, where people are too distracted to say anything; or b) joining the reception after the speeches, when the party becomes a free-for-all. Keep on alert.

5. The wedding crasher is a great faker. (We call it storytelling.)

The go-to crasher trick: The Crasher will have a premade alibi like, “I went to high school with Larry,” and then back it up with, “You know, Laarrry, that craaazzzy ol’ such-and-such!” and then good-naturedly clasp your shoulder, coasting on his charisma.

6. The wedding crasher is never sitting down. (You’ll never see us awkwardly sitting at a table. No thank you!)

The go-to crasher trick: Something you just can’t fake are seating arrangements and escort cards, so if the wedding has assigned seats, the jig is up. Unless, of course, he just never sits down. Time for dinner? He’s in the bathroom, at the bar — anywhere but at a table.

7. The wedding crasher seems to be dodging the wedding planner. (Wedding Planners are on top of it!)

The go-to crasher trick: Your planner knows that guest list by heart and knows how to spot a crasher too, so you can expect them to not be hovering by anyone in charge.

The go-to crasher trick: Not many couples invite such extended family members (unless it’s a gigantic wedding). So chances are, he’s probably not Philipo, the groom’s fifth cousin who’s been trout fishing in Alaska for the past few years.

9. The wedding crasher wasn’t at the ceremony. (Nope. We are here for the PAR-TAY!)

The go-to crasher trick: The crasher’s here for the party, and there’s no chance that he wasted time at your ceremony. (No offense!) So ask him questions about the actual ceremony, like, “Did you see the blimp that passed by overhead? So cool, right?” An actual guest would be confused; a crasher would play along, saying how much he loved the blimp.

10. The wedding crasher is a really good dancer. (I mean seriously…we can shake it.)

The go-to crasher trick: What’s the point of going to a wedding if you’re not dancing, drinking and eating? Now imagine spending all of your weekends at weddings (that’s what crashers do). You’re going to pick up a few moves — and you’re not going to be shy about jumping on the dance floor when you hear “Sexy and I Know It.” Remember, it takes a certain confidence to crash a wedding, after all.

We look forward to seeing all of you on Black Friday. And for some of you lucky wedding guest…sooner!