Not mine, no profit, don't sue. Don't ask me what
came over me, I'm still trying to figure it out. If I ever do, I'll let you
know... In any event, let me present to you (Slayers Style) a classic fairy tale
of...

Once upon a time a darling baby boy was born to some as-yet-to-be-seen
parents. They threw a small party for a few friends, but forgot to invite the
blind priest Rezo. This was partially due to the fact that they didn't know if
they should make the invite out to "grandfather" or
"great-grandfather." The accidental snub didn't really bother the red
priest, but the writer bitched and complained enough to make him go just to shut
her up...

"Damned fic writers won't let a body stay cold in the ground like it
should..."

::writer holds up fanfic contracts::

"Alright, alright, I'm going."

Leaving the demented writer behind, Rezo crashed the party. He arrived just
as a strange, smiling priest was about to grant the tyke a gift.

"What the hell are you doing here, Xelloss? Don't you have a few dragons
to kill or something?"

"Did that last week, and I couldn't pass down an opportunity to 'help'
Zel-kun." ^_^ "Besides, he's adorable... Coochie coochie coo..."

Rezo made a face as the now infant Zel tried his best to Ra Tilt the Mazoku.
"Ye-ah. Well, if I want to get out of here... I have a possession meeting
to go to. 'How to deal with your Inner Demon Lord.' So..." He clears his
throat. "When this child turns fifteen, he will prick his finger on a...
hey, what is a spindle anyway?"

"Didn't you read the script? It's one of those things they use in fairy
tales as props." ^_^

"Uh, yeah. Well, I just make the curses... Finger, prick,
spindle..."

"In that order?" ^_^

"Grr... He dies. Happy? Now I really have to get out of here. Shabby
gives me a headache if I'm late to this meeting..."

"Quite right. Tell our Lord and Master I said hello." ^_^

Rezo scowls, beating a hasty retreat and muttering about contract rewrites.
In the meantime, a bunch of nondescript people who shall never be seen after
this were crying at the impending death of the infant Zelgadis, who was praying
it would come sooner than Rezo said.

"...."

Tap tap

"Huh? Oh, my line? So sorry, I was dozing off." ^_^ "Ahem,
this is truly out of my league, bu-ut I suppose I can make a wee change to that
curse... Ah look, little Zel is trying to use a Burst Rondo." ^_^

"Phhhhbbbbbtttt!!"

"Too young for that now, Zel-chan." ^_^ "Now then... oh yes,
that curse. Well, what say we just make him sleep. Hmm? Oh, and throw in that
cute stone skin thing. Blue becomes him, don't you think?" ^_^

Rezo stomped around, ready to kill anyone who came by. "Now I have to
show up again in this STUPID fi..." He pauses as large tears drop
from the writer's eyes. "Grr... where is he?!"

The writer happily points to the forest. Rezo mutters about manipulation and
heads that way, eager to be done with his part in this story.

Now a striking (dare say beautiful) teen, Zelgadis was busy training as he
strived to become stronger. Occasionally, a smiling face appeared in his mind,
causing him to lash out, though for the life of him, Zel couldn't remember
why...

Zelgadis: I remember perfectly, thankyouverymuch!

The writer holds up a sign reading "Stay in character."

Zelgadis: ::grumbles::

As the youth continued to train and swear under his breath, the red priest
showed up. The writer held up the same sign before Zelgadis could lunge at him
with his sword.

Rezo: You think I want to be here?

Zelgadis: I just KNOW this is all your fault!

After the writer whacks them both for going OOC, Rezo beckons the lad closer.
"You wish to have more power?"

"Not really."

The writer whacks Zelgadis again.

"Yeah, sure whatever."

Rezo nods, holding up his hands. A faint smile plays across his lips as the
agonizing screams of Zel undergoing his change rings through the forest. The
writer whispers something about not enjoying himself too much.

Rezo: But I never get any fun...

WHACK!

Rezo: Alright, alright! Sheesh!

Rezo watches as the now chimeric Zel struggles to his feet, still weak from
the change.

Xelloss: Pardon, don't mean to interrupt, but isn't he suppose to fall
asleep? ::reads script:: And for a hundred years or something?

The writer pauses, then motions to Rezo. He walks up and beans Zelgadis on
the head with his staff, knocking the chimera out cold.

Xelloss: Ah, okay. ^_^

Rezo: Can I go now?

WHACK!

Rubbing his head and muttering about cursing the writer, Rezo quietly leaves.
The writer whispers to Xelloss, who nods and takes the unconscious chimera up in
some castle for sake of the plot...

Xelloss: So do we get to let the readers wait a hundred years?

No, I don't have that long.

Xelloss: I could always write it for you. ^_^

Ye-ah, right. This is crazy enough as it is.

Rezo: Can I go now? I have things I must do. Resurrect Shabby, take over
world in fit of dementia, tennis with koppi Rezo at two... We're playing
doubles.

::thinks:: I might bring you back. Can you just stay around a bit?

Rezo: Do I have a choice?

Xelloss: According to our fanfic contracts, nope! ^_^

Gourry: ::walks in:: Is this the right place? I got turned around on the way
here...

Ah, we have our... prince.

Rezo: He's a prince, and I'm a fairy.

Xelloss: Well, you were eying Zel-chan rather closely... ^_^

::looks on as Rezo beats the hell out of Xelloss with staff:: Gourry, you did
read the script I gave you... right?

Gourry: Oh, sure. Something about Zelgadis in a blue hood. Why's he have a
blue hood anyway?

Xelloss: Wrong fic. ^_^

Hell-inna-handbasket. Gourry, just wing it. Everyone get ready...

Xelloss: We had a slight problem...

NOW what?

Xelloss: It seems Zelgadis woke up. ^_^;

So why isn't he here trying to blast all of us to kingdom come?

::Xelloss points to a bound and gagged Zel squirming on the bed::

::blinks:: Whatever works. Come on, let's get this over with...

(approximately a century later, by ficdom time)

The castle where the Sleeping Blue Beauty rests has become a myth. A tangle
of deadly vines surround it, letting none enter.

::Xelloss sits off to the side reading "Mazoku Gardens Monthly"::

Time passes, and a handsome prince strolls up to the castle. Being somewhat
less than intellectually steller, he approaches it hoping to find...

"Food, man, am I hungry. You'd think Lina could have let me have one
fish before I got here..."

"Well I'm sure you'll find something to snack on inside." ^_^

"Huh? Oh, hi Xelloss. What're you doing here?"

As the writer considers giving up, Xelloss just smiles. "Oh, just making
sure the Sleeping Beauty inside stays there."

"How would they go anywhere if they're asleep?"

"Minor little plot setback." ^_^ "But if you're interested,
just use your sword on these vines and step inside. I'll be waiting for you at
the stairs." Xelloss disappears, much to the relief of the writer.

"Uh... okay." Drawing out his sword, Gourry makes short work of the
vines, though he nearly loses it when one tries to feel him up...
"HEY!"

Whacking the flirtatious vines with patented fic-mallet, the writer clears
the rest of the way, leaving Gourry free to step through.

"What a weird place."

Waiting at the top of the stairs, Xelloss was busy filing his nails while
listening to the muffled curses of the "Sleeping Beauty."

"You'd think he'd never been tied down to a bed before..."

"Ne, Xelloss..." Gourry runs up, looking out of breath. "I
couldn't find any food anywhere in here. And some of these plants are
dangerous!"

"Oh? And here the book said they should have been fatal..." ^_^
"Nevermind that. I have a little job for you, Gou-kun."

"What is it? And is that Zel I hear? He sounds pissed..."

"Quite, but we plan on fixing that." With a worried writer tagging
along, Xelloss leads Gourry into the room where 'Beauty' sleeps. Unfortunately,
not only is Zel wide awake, but completely naked as well. The writer raises an
eyebrow and looks at Xelloss.

"Well, you never said I couldn't." ^_^

While the writer beats the stuffing out of Xelloss, Gourry walks over to Zel,
trying to make out what he's saying behind the gag.