Dutchess Of Black Ink Crew Tells The Tale Of The Penis Tattoo

If you’re still squirming from tonight’s episode of Black Ink Crew–in which an “Internet sensation” known as Cuzzin Todd wanted Dutchess to tattoo his “schlong”–just know it will never be as bad for you as it was for her. “The one that I did for the show was the worst of my entire being… of existence,” Dutchess told VH1 during our visit to the shop.

Being asked to ink up a customer South of the border proved to be so scaring, she still shakes at the thought. And yet it also makes for a hilarious cocktail party conversation–she even has props to explain her side of the story! “Just the water spout–should have been a girl. This is where he was at, right here,” she says, pointing to her handy ruler and its less than complimentary measurement marker. We’re all for encouraging kids to live out their dreams, but asking for “#1″ might have been aiming a little too high this time around, CT. “Number one what? You got some zeroes to add to this, ’cause your definitely not No. 1, bro. You’re a bit way down the line–way down the line,” Dutchess says.

Check out Dutchess’ knack for doling out nicknames and pharmaceutical recommendations above, as well as her side of that fateful day at the shop. Twas a request so crazy, you have to see it twice.