January 20, 2011

Charges: Your brain’s been cobbled together over millions of years of blind evolution and it shows. You’re clumsy, stupid, weak and motivated by the basest of urges. Your MO is both grotesquely selfish and unquestionably deferential to questionable authority. You’re not in control of your life. You wear your ignorance like a badge of honor and gleefully submit to oppression, malfeasance and kleptocracy. You will buy anything. You will believe anything. You believe that evolution is a matter of belief. You likely scrolled down to #1, without reading the rest, because you’re an impatient, semi-literate Philistine who’s either unable or unwilling to digest more than 140 characters at a time. You think Epic Beard Man is a national hero and that Bradley Manning might be Eli and Payton’s brother. You believe in American exceptionalism despite the contrary, compelling and overwhelming evidence. You tacitly partake in all manner of atrocity without batting a lash. You’re actively participating in our species’ extinction and you’re either in denial or you just don’t give a shit. You escape into every sort of mind-numbing distraction and ridiculous, convoluted fantasy, so you don’t have to face the bitter, terrifying fact that your life is utterly meaningless.

Aggravating factors: The careers of Rush Limbaugh, Oprah Winfrey, John Stossel and Justin Bieber; the success of The Secret, “Medium” and Atlas Shrugged; the election of Rand Paul; the existence of Kentucky, Texas and “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”

Sentence: Bad teeth, an affinity for afternoon tea and the guilt-plagued, nostalgic psyche of a fallen empire.

Click through to see who "you" beat. Barack Obama is on the list, but it's not exactly bipartisan. Great illustration. Good detail. Many pop culture and sports characters are included.

I made it only to about number 35 or so; found it so childish and derivative that I couldn't continue on. The poster "Murphy" is obviously pleased with his own turns of phrases, but it struck me as stale goods from the git-go.

If you're reading the comments before the link, take a pass. You'll appreciate the time not spent.

(The Crypto Jew) I never understood the intellectual far left position that we need to create a just world for ALL men and women, even though they're stupid, ingrates

That’s not really difficult to explain:1) That world view justifies THEIR power….the Sheeple NEED them, because the Sheeple are STOOPIT; and2) BECAUSE the Sheeple are Stoopit, it justifies their failure to relinquish power, ever, because even IF the “just” world is created, the stoopit Sheeple will screw it up, and hence the Progressives must ALWAYS be there re-balancing the scales.

Didn't read it....but I suspect it wasn't written by anyone who creates anything or has a position of real responsiblity or even has enough basic life responsiblity to not have enough time to write it out.

THe only reason Obama made the list was because he didn't measure up to his lefty credentials. This is,in fact nothing but a critique from the left. So of course, it's predominated by right wing characters.Same with John Stewart a few months ago coming down hard on Barack Obama. At the time some people said it was a sign that he was objective and attacked both parties equally. No, in fact all of his criticisms were from the left. Obama needed to be attacked, not because Stewart was agnostic on liberal versus conseravative ideas. Rather, Obama didn't go far enough to the left, and promise things (lthings that lefties want) that he didnt' deliver on.

Also, as someone else mentioned, this is the same guy who wrote Fuck The Troops.So fuck whatever he has to say about the 50 worst anything. Hope he gets ball cancer (metaphorically).When I did a google search on "F*ck The Troops" I came across an interesting phenomenon. Apparently there is a long line of op eds from those on the left expressing the exact same sentiment where they explcitly state, despite the claims to the contrary that they DOn't support the Mission (iraq) but do support the troops, that they do in fact support neither.That is the truth, and I'll give The Beast credit for at least expressing the true sentiment shared by liberals that most libs dare not speak.THat doesn't mean he isn't contemptible, only at least he shows liberals true face. And it's pretty ugly.

"How the fuck do all these republicunts, “truthers” (whatever the hell that’s suppose to be), and anti-vaccine loonies even find this place? Do you just get up in the morning and google whatever the fuck the voices in your heads tell you to?

I think next year Ian should give you useless gold-bricking pussies something to REALLY cry about. Instead of a “Most Loathsome” list he should just post a video of Mandingo (you know, the black porn star with the 14″ cock?) skull-fucking Sara Palin, with her husband Todd being forced to watch and then suck cum out of her bloody eye sockets.'

Pretty much in agreement with Freeman Hunt et al here on the sophomoric leftist vapidity of the critique, HOWEVER, like the fact that a stopped watch is correct twice a day, blind pigs find acorns, etc., I DO, in fact, TOTALLY AGREE with his assessment of "LOST."

Ah, the trappings and temptations of fame. After being person of the year in 2006, I guess I just became too full of myself, thinking anything was possible. No one could get in my way. The women, the drink, the extravagant flipping of homes, the hope that I'm the change that I need to hope for if I want to change hope. It finally caught up to me.

Yea, that wishing of death and horrible diseases on people is a leftist cliche now. You can't be old enough to know people who have suffered and still say those things unless you you're just evil or stupid.

Pathetic. I remember when I was on the Berkeley campus, there was a local comedian who used to come on campus wearing a barrel and open a newspaper, read stories, and heap scorn on them. Didn't matter what they said. "Fireman saves five children. Well, I bet he's really proud of himself! Tells everyone he's a hero! What a loser!"

Haven't thought about him for a while, but this kind of stuff brings me back.

I am afraid I left a comment to article:You left out Nancy Pelosi, Rahmbo, Reid, Palinoia victims like Krugman and Other NYTimes staffers, Cohen D-TN. I like your homophobia bashing. Are you unaware the incident you cited involve no underage interns or sex but only emails? If you want to bvash homosexual why leave out Franks who home as used as bothel and Studds who raped an idea after getting him drunk. As an anti-semite you would get bonus point for your hate.

But, he wasn't named Patrick. Wikipedia gives a list of Jewish Irish. Not a single Patrick, Padraig, or Paddy in the list.

Are you impling that Jewish parents stick with a list of approved Jewish names? I used to work with a Chinese guy (both parents were Chinese) and his name is David. That is his birthname. It wasn't Hu Tao Ping but my friends call me Dave for short.

This list, like most things over at this Beast site, is a retread for retards. In case the idiots didn't get the message and marching orders the first, second, and third (etc) time around, this instructs them who they may freely despise (Tea Party people, Republicans, people who have embarrassed the Progressive Nation)and provides a review of the dishonest and uncivil talking points as to each.

"The author totally blows any credibility he/she may have had by calling ACORN "an honorable advocacy group for the poor".

"Lung cancer" seems an douchey, easy out for a sentence for someone so clever, doesn't it? Like he ran out of inspiration or something.

The Jenny McCarthy snark was unexpected and refreshing, but Paula Deen?!?!?! Talk about innocuous. Must be the Huck connection getting to him ~ couldn't be the butter, because butter CAN be from happy, grassfed cows, producing lovely organic milk products.

Reading the list and remembering the debates over Tiger Mom, I began to wonder if this hate filled self-styled humorist ever played a team sport. How many of our frothing pols and pundits played team sports and learned to work together with those they didn't like for a common goal?

As to the "Patrick" issue, Althouse, forgive me if I am assuming incorrectly, but didn't you and your Jewish husband name one of your sons Chris? Sounds far more unlikely to me.

Sometimes I truly am sorry for clicking on these links. They are so repulsive.

The left succeeded last year in passing their dream legislation and set up executive branch despotism in government agencies, giving them unchecked rule over so much. And still they harbor hatred and wish so much ill on people on the right (or even middle).

The irony here is that the left is such an ugly stain on the history of our great nation. They created internment camps. They promote discrimination based on race and gender. They spit on troops coming home from Vietnam. They support infanticide. They marvel at the rule of Mao, Castro, Chavez, and Stalin. They view our Bill of Rights as an obstruction to progress.

How do we rid America of such filth?

Maybe they will all move to Cuba and stay there now that travel bans have been lifted.

Listen to you fuckwits. The Beast is actually pulling punches - America has been rendered uninhabitable by the likes of you people. Instead of playing video games and fattening yourselves of junk food in your single parent condos, you'd have been better off getting the shit kicked out of you by a drunken Irish father would couldn't stomach having something with the intelligence of a slime mold carrying his name. This isn't about "libtards" vs. "cons" - it's beyond left and right - it's about abject stupidity and venality, gross narcissism and greed and the utter destruction by YOU, all of you born since the War - of everything that was decent in the world.