Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a
huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so
eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at
Princeton, "You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat
from a single Snickers." ~Dave Barry

The best diet is to have sex and to forget the marriage ~ Charles, Prince of Wales

Imagine all the people sharing all the food living in agree ~ John Lennon

You have to diet and fight for your right to party ~ The Beastie Boys

I dont know how?

I don't know how to stop eating,
What to do, how to diet,
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone fat,

I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why food moves me.
Its just a snack, just a snack,
and I've eaten so many snacks before
In very many restaurants,
So I eat just one more.

Should I stop and starve?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of gluttony,
Let my feelings out?

I never thought I'd become so fat,
What's it all about?

Don't you think it's rather funny,
I should watch my weight,
I'm the one who's always been so slim,
so cool, no Ramseys fool,
starving all the time
Mac Donalds scares me so.

I never thought I'd would be so fat.
What's it all about?
Yet, if I would go to diet,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't eat, just couldn't eat.
I'd turn my mouth. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
Candy scares me so.
I want candy too.
I love food so.

S.R

Driving a Mini Cooper is the best way to keep fat hitch hikers away ~ Mister Bean

Avoid any diet that makes you fatter ~ John Kardong

The more you dance the more you burn the fat ~ Grace Jones

Tell me why I hate mondays and love Mac Donalds? ~ Bob Geldof

The best diet is to go on hunger strike ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems
that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you
still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will
still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same
life. Losing weight is not a cure for life. ~Phillip C. McGraw, The
Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, 2003

I probably would be fat if I did not make love all night long ~ Lionel Ritchie

If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies. ~Elmer Rice

I keep trying to lose weight... but the more I try to diet the more I eat ~ Big Mamma

A good chef coock makes fat freinds ~ Chief Ramsey

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. ~Mae West

The fittest people should take care of the fattest to makes this world a better place ~ Michael Jackson

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. ~Totie Fields

The commonest form of malnutrition in the western world is obesity. ~Mervyn Deitel

Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled over how much weight you have gained. ~Author Unknown

I'm in shape. Round is a shape... isn't it? ~Author Unknown

Your body is a temple, not a drive-through. ~Author Unknown

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a
total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm
bracelet. ~Erma Bombeck

My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it. ~Harry Secombe

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food. ~Erma Bombeck

Forget about calories - everything makes thin people thinner, and fat
people fatter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires. ~Benjamin Franklin

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I
spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be
careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad.
~Janette Barber

Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it. ~Horace

They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing. ~William Shakespeare

We never repent of having eaten too little. ~Thomas Jefferson, 1825

Obesity is a condition which proves that the Lord does not help those
who help themselves and help themselves and help themselves. ~Author
Unknown

History is apt to judge harshly those who sacrifice tomorrow for today. ~Harold MacMillan

It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren't so handy in the refrigerator. ~Hugh Allen

A waist is a terrible thing to mind. ~Tom Wilson

I'm not overweight, I'm undertall. ~Author Unknown

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. ~Dave Barry

I'm not afraid of heights, just widths. ~Steven Wright (Note: This is
used out of its original context here, to fit into a dieting theme.
Original quote is "I took my dog for a walk around the building - on the
ledge. I'm not afraid of heights, just widths.")

Gluttony is not a secret vice. ~Orson Welles

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes
along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving
you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes
are out. ~Jean Kerr

All people are made alike -
of bones and flesh and dinner -
Only the dinners are different
.
~Gertrude Louise Cheney

My doctor told me to stop having dinners and eat for four. Unless there are no other people. ~
Orson Welles

We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in
the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it. ~ Author
Unknown

If I can't have too many truffles I'll do without. ~Colette

The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage. ~Peggy Ryan

Fat is not a moral problem. It's an oral problem. ~Jane Thomas Noland

Never eat more than you can lift. ~Miss Piggy

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. ~H.S. Leigh

Obesity is a mental state, a disease brought on by boredom and disappointment. ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. ~Mark Twain

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet. ~Dan Bennett

Obesity is really widespread. ~Joseph O. Kern II

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when." ~P.G. Wodehouse

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet. ~Lewis C. Henry

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat. ~Henny Youngman

I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops. ~Marie Mott

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back. ~Robert Quillen

My ideal weight I can only experience on the moon ~ A. Sachs

It's not how much you eat but the way you share your meals what matters ~ Author Unknown

Do not fall in love till you have had enough chocolate! ~S.R

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not
to eat what you've just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. ~Peter De Vries

Eating a lot all day long is loss of time ~ Socrates

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is the problem. ~ Author Unknown

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. ~Author Unknown

If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered
as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the
paintbrush. ~Dawn French

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is
entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could
do is run for public office. ~George Bernard Shaw

The first thing you get on a diet is a depression. ~ Author Unknown

Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. ~Beth McCollister

I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy
on me they'll find me like a strip of bacon - a streak of lean and a
streak of fat. ~Texas Guinan

Life itself is the proper binge. ~Julia Child

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. ~Author Unknown

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every
seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover
how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.
~Dave Barry

Dieting is wishful shrinking. ~Author Unknown

It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears. ~Plutarch

Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks. ~Author Unknown

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat. ~Jennifer Greene Duncan