Monday, November 21, 2011

Life : An Obstacle Course

I guess the title says it all. Life has been an obstacle course the past few months. Of course to me it feels more like I am on that show "Wipeout" and everyone is just waiting for me to fall on my face.

So the past three months have entailed numerous appointments for not only Tony(also referred to in previous posts as TP) but my daughter Emma. It has been a constant battle to get meds right for both of them.

School started the week after Labor Day here. So our house has been in a constant state of upheaval since then. Homework, school events, cheerleading, tae kwon do, fundraisers, two kids starting instruments, the transition between kindergarten and 1st grade, pre algebra, ugh WAY too much! On top of all that "normal" stuff, Tony's mystery pains have continued on almost a weekly or bi weekly basis now. I can't say how many trips we made to the hospital the last few months. Put it this way....they know us by name(first name). They know what meds work for Tony and have said meds ready for him before they even strap on the EKG. They have offered an open room for my daughter to lay down in(as most of these ER runs happen at about 3 or 4am). My kids have free reign over the TV in the waiting room....they see us coming in and the receptionist puts on Disney.

We have also had some great things happen too! Tony got his approval from Philly for his recumbent trike!!! I am so super excited for him! His face just lit up like a kid on Christmas when he got the call! It was beautiful! Tony has started a cycling team with the non profit we volunteer with(Family of a Vet). This is HUGE for him!

Tony also went thru his C&P ratings and exams for his T&P rating. So we are waiting to hear back from that. If it gets approved it could be big change for us. If it gets approved...if he gets his 100% total and permanent rating we have a chance at being able to get a house! Yes we have a place now. Will this place work for us 2, 5, 10 yrs down the road...definitely not. As of this moment we have 3 girls ages 10, 9, and 6 in one bedroom. Tony and I share the other bedroom. We have 1....just 1 small bathroom(you can not even to begin how fun mornings are here). The only other rooms are the living room and the small kitchen(so small Tony and I eat in the living room because honestly it is way too cramped to eat with the kids in there). Mind you this is an apartment. A second floor apartment. Thankfully the VA put in a stair lift for Tony about a month ago. Before that point when he was having a bad day I was either shouldering his weight or dragging him up backwards(not fun).

I want Tony to be able to embrace life....even one inside his own home. He loves to cook.....I don't. Right now I do all of the cooking because standing at the stove is not even an option for him. I want to apply for Homes for our Troops heck even thought about Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I have mixed emotions about it though. Could we at some point afford to purchase a house....yes but a very very very long way down the road. Tony's loss of employment due to his injuries pretty much destroyed his credit. Mine was never good to begin with. In a way I feel selfish....but I know Tony deserves a house that is custom for him. He deserves a home that he can use his powerchair in on his bad days....instead of having to "wall surf". He deserves to be able to find a quiet place when his PTSD flairs or when he has a migraine from the TBI. He deserves a kitchen he can cook in again. He deserves a shower that he does not have to fight to get in and out of. He deserves a home made for him. And if his condition progresses we could be facing some sort of paralysis. I can not even fathom that happening while we are in this apartment!

See I'm rambling...I'm good at that. Lets see....OH!....Veterans' Day!..... I was so proud! Am so proud! Tony was a speaker at one of our local high schools Veterans Day Appreciation Program! He did fantastic! There were two other soldiers there(neither of which had seen combat or war time). When Tony spoke....there was not a dry eye in the house. He grabbed your attention....demanded it! And his story sank into your soul. It told of his experiences,losses, devotion, and dedication to his country.

Ok I think I am done for the night.....guess I can try to sleep, right?! I am going to make an effort to keep up with this blog a bit more!