Alright at this point I went to 6th grade at a different middle school then the class I was in because of my bullying problems. I was pretty confused I wasn't really sure who I should be anymore my original timid self or my made up crazy self. I contemplated for this for about another depressing year. Then I entered the 7th grade and this was around the time I found the Brony community. This gave me a idea these guys were considered misfits sorry so maybe they would be okay with accepting me for who I really am. So first thing I did was join a community of guys online who where fairly nice and quickly accepted me (By quickly I mean like over half a year because it took me that long to start having conversations with them) Of course they noticed my personality and how similar it was to Fluttershy but they got over it well at least some of them did. So I hung out with this group for a long time and I was happy. The show made me happy, my new friends made me happy, and most of all my ability to be myself made me happy even if it was only if I was online. One day one guy came in talking about this new pony hypnosis thing and everyone thought it was pretty cool. Now already there was sort of a joke going around that I really wasn't acting myself and was pretending to be like Fluttershy for attention. At the time it was only a joke but once the news of pony hypnosis came around the joke turned cold. Everyone started suspecting me of doing this hypnosis and coming to them and pretending I was always like this for attention. Everyday I would come on expecting welcomes but what I got was insults, accusations, even threats. This really hurt me inside because of the whole reason I joined those guys. Suddenly I was thrown back into a deep depression and I wanted to kill myself to end all the confusion I was going through. I decided I needed some help but I was to scared to see a actual professional on that matter and it turned out I didn't need to. I came to this forums and started reading a lot of the Fluttershy journals to see if I could find anything that might help me with my problem. All these journals actually helped me a lot because it helped me realize screw it (sorry for the harsh language) I don't care what people wanted me to be I am going to be myself no matter what they say. So I started being myself but a bit to drastically and everyone saw the change. This worried people because I wasn't acting like they thought I did and something must have been wrong with me. My mom thought this the most and got the idea that I needed help so got me to see a professional. Luckily the guys she got was really nice and accepting he got me to trust him and he became the first person I told my life story too. He told me he thought I should bring this up with my mom when I am comfortable and he believed she would accept it. Sadly he was wrong. My mom did not accept it or at least didn't really understand it and instead of helping me she got mad at me and yelled at me that non-social people can not be successful. This is when I decided that if non-social could not succeed in this world then this world is wrong and I wanted to change it. I am so small though I knew I couldn't really change much but that never stopped me from trying. I would be kind to everyone around me at least try to because my shyness does get in the way a lot. I would just show random acts to kindness to everyone I could. Although this did turn around on me a lot over all it helped me more. I suddenly was able to see the good in people and how happy the world really is. Yes the world can be crap sometimes but that why it is up to everyone to make it that much brighter by just being kind to people. Kindness is a chain reaction it spreads from person to person because even though people are scary especially strangers they also all have the potential of good you just have to look close just like how the world is secretly a happy fantasy if you look close enough. So this is were I stand I forgave everyone who did me wrong in my life and I even rejoined that group of bronies again because I explained again and they understood and we apologized to each other. I am slowly transitioning myself into my life and so far most of my friends and family are accepting it so I will keep going with the transition no matter what my Mom thinks. Now I decided to make this journal to help all of you guys as you start this journey because trust me you will have many problems ahead of this path but as long as you are happy with the path and feel it is the right one you will overcome these problems and in the end be very happy as long as you realize what Fluttershy represents. That is to realize the good in everyone and go out of you interests to uncover that good and help nurture it through kindness.

Thank you for listening to my story I hope it helped you and sorry about the conflict I had with this hypnosis idea in originally I promise though I don't hold any grudges plus it wasn't anyone's fault I hope me doing this helps you guys see that. Also please don't think anything bad about my Mom she is a wonderful women that I live and she lives me it's just she has clouded judgment sometimes. Sorry if I sounded conceded at all furring this or if I said anything rude or mean furring this. So now I am going to go in normal journal format with new adventures, lessons, and problems hope to see you guys soon. Thanks and Sorry