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08 November 2010

Not a material girl

Now is the time of year when the dreaded question begins to come up- actually, two questions- what do you want for your birthday? What do you want for Christmas?

I really have a hard time answering this question. You see, I have everything a person could want or need... So what else could I ask for? I now have the iPod touch, a car, a roof over my head, a nice stereo both in my room and my car, a (small, but that doesn't matter) television in my room, a cell phone, a laptop, what else am I supposed to ask for? The one thing I can think of is a desire to have my tuition paid without worry about whether there will be enough money. Of course, this is a lot to ask, and it's not quite as "material" as my parents want-- they want to be able to GIVE me something.

The issue is, I'm not as materialistic as some people- gifts matter even if they're not tangible, and I don't have to hold it to appreciate it. I already appreciate what I have. I find that material gifts offer no comfort or satisfaction...they're just things. I don't see how I could ask for more without being a selfish spoiled brat. Is this wrong for me to feel?

After all, the holidays are really not about giving gifts; rather, one should appreciate what they have, and be willing to love and sacrifice to others without expecting anything back. Unfortunately, I have nothing to give except for my caring. Sometimes that makes me feel like i don't even deserve the non-material, intangible things. Until then, I have to force myself to think materialistically and figure out what it is that I truly want.