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Author
Topic: Please help me - going mad (Read 28148 times)

My knowledge of HIV law is more or less confined to the USA. Assuming you live there, a doctor cannot perform an HIV test without your knowledge and full consent, except maybe in the event of rape or total incapacitation.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I live in the UK jk. Does anyone know if my permission would be needed here?

Sorry to say i'm having quite a bad time of it today. In addition to not being able to get my wifes night sweats from the other night out of my head, i have found that the pain in my jaw is due to another swollen gland. So far i now have appriximately 16 swollen glands that i occasionally get pain from in my groin, chest, armpits, under my chin, jaw and neck. They started with two groin nodes on contracting herpes with more coming up gradually about four weeks later. My groin nodes have now been swollen for four months. I don't know how to handle this anymore. If it was only myself involved in this nightmare i think it would be easier to test. What really haunts me is what if my wife is infected? How could i live with myself if this was the case? If i took a test and it turned out positive then i could almost be sure that she was also positive. How could i tell her?

I don't think i have read any of the posts on this forum that had two people presenting symptoms two weeks after exposure to such a varying degree and all that seem to be consistent with ars.

Can i really be negative in light of our overwelming symptoms.

I'm sorry to lean on you again my friends but i would be grateful if you could help me once again.

I appreciate your reply rod, but as you will see in this thread, i have seen a doctor who is taking blood tests. I was asking if anyone knew whether the doctor would need my permission to take a hiv test out of my blood or can he just go ahead and do it without my knowledge? I am in the uk.

Also i would be very grateful if you could give me your opinion on whether it really is possible that i could test negative in light of mine and my wife's differing symptoms, but still similar in respect to reprted ARS symptoms? I am specifically scared about my wife's symptoms on three separate occasions, epecially her severe night sweats the other night, my several swollen glands (confirmed by doctor) and my chronic sore throat and chest. My worst symptoms started 2 weeks after exposure, gradually got better after a few weeks, but the glands continued to come up and persist over a matter of weeks and are still here.

I also read an article on aegis that showed a graph of the quantity of virus in relation to seroconversion. It seemed to start at bottom of graph on infection and slowly rising after about three days, reaching its maximum at approximately thirty days and slowly declining until it reach a level at about 90 days. Can you tell me if you know of this article and if it is peer reviewed as this gives me great hope (hopefully not false hope) as my only intercourse with my wife was shrt of two days following my "risk". It would therefore stand to reason that it would be difficult to infect her with no or little virus present. Obviously at that time i didn't think i posed as any risk to her. Please correct me if i am wrong.

I would be so grateful if you could reply to my specific fears and appreciate the patience that you show towards me. If i had somewhere else to turn and wasn't so afraid for my wife, i wouldn't bother you great people.

You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever become infected through getting a blowjob and you will not be the first.

If your wife is unwell, she should see her GP. If you are unwell, you should see your GP. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv.

A doctor in the UK cannot test you for hiv unless you have signed a consent form. When you have your blood drawn, the nurse has to double-check that you've given permission before drawing blood for an hiv test.

If you cannot put this behind you without a test, go to your local GUM clinic where you can test anonymously, collect your negative result and move on.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks for the info Ann. I hope i will be strong enough to test soon and i will do so anonomously at the gum as you suggested. If these glands would only go down i'm sur i'd have a clearer mind. Hopefully i'll get some news from the doctor soon.

Just one other thing on my mind if you could answer please. There is no way that a condom damage or rip would go unnoticed is there? I have read your comments before that it is not subtle when it happens. Can you please explain?

I've never personally experienced a condom break because I make sure they are being used properly. The guys here who have had this happen to them say the condom ends up looking like a hula skirt around your penis. In other words, they shred. You would know if it happened.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks Ann. That's re-assuring as i'm sure that's never happened to me and i would be aware of it if it had. Therefore my only fear remains the unprotected bj.

I did feel re-assured by the chart i read on aegis with regard to strength of infection during seroconversion as it doubled up with the information you gave me, which rests my mind slightly about unknowingly infecting my wife. As i said, if that article was reliable the virus rises from about 3-4 days post infection and risis to its peak at 30 days. My only intercourse with my wife (or anyone else for that matter) since the bj was just short of 2 days after the bj. Of course if i had been worried about my status at the time i would have abstained or used a condom.

I am still puzzled and scared though due to my continued symptoms, swollen glands, my wife's symptoms and scary night sweats. Is there anything else that could have caused this do you think? Any ideas would be appreciated.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I'm sorry to post again today as i'm sure you are all sick of me by now, but i feel as though my mind is completely wrecked. I had actually started feeling much better about things as i await my doctor's results. My sore throat and chest are now much better and haven't caused me much discomfort the past couple of days and i started thinking to myself "maybe i have overreacted". This despite the fact that my glands are still swollen and sometimes painful and getting very tired and aching glands after mild exercise (as in just walking for over 15 mins).

Then i read the recent update of the post on this site regarding a claim that they had contracted hiv by insertive bj. A regular forum member claimed that he and a couple of others on this site had also contracted it this way. Why would he lie? It is really doing my head in.

I am torn in two as the consequences of testing would be -

a) The best feeling in the world and the weight lifted off my shoulders if i tested negative.

OR

b) Testing positive, knowing what the consequeces were for my wife and knowing that i would definitely not be able to live with that sort of guilt.

I have the other option of not testing, trusting that i didn't have a risk and get on with my life and hope for the best.

Can you please please answer these questions to help me get some perspective.

1. Is there any connection in having to start PEP within 72 hours and with becoming infectious before or after 72 hours? This makes a big difference to me in regard of the possibility of unknowingly infecting my wife.

2. Is there any possibility apart from extreme circumstances of contracting hiv by getting a bj as is claimed by some on this site?

3. Is there any chance of hiv infection from herpes ulcers in the mouth?

4. If there really is no chance of contracting hive by getting a bj why are there people here claiming it has happened, and if this is the case why am i always being told i "will not be the first"?

I am very sorry to sound so negative but our symptoms have already freaked me out. If you couple this with a possible real exposure it all seems too much of a coincidence. I just feel like we could possibly be the unluckiest people on earth at the moment.

I would be very grateful if you please would not reply with advice to see a doctor as i have already done this and am awaiting his response.

It may not sound like it but i do really value what you have to say otherwise i wouldn't bother posting here. Thank you all.

1. You didn't take PEP. How on earth can that make a difference to you?

2. Stay out of the other forums, ok? You aren't hiv positive and you've got no business over there.

Sometimes people can't even admit to themselves that they've engaged in risky behaviours, let alone admit it to anyone else. Sometimes people don't remember risky behaviour because they were under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. Patient reporting is notoriously unreliable.

However, there have been studies where one partner is positive and one is negative. (the studies are discussed in the Transmission lesson, which you should have read by now) In the couples whose only precaution was to use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, NOT ONE of the negative partners became infected. NOT ONE. These studies have proven what activities are real transmission risks and what are not. Regardless of what some anonymous person posts in some internet forum.

3. Remotely possible but unlikely. Why? Because saliva contains over a dozen proteins and enzymes that inhibit hiv.

4. See answer 2.

Why don't you just go and test, collect your negative result and move on with your life?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I feel i need to clarify some of the points and questions posed in my last post.

I asked whether there was any relevance to taking PEP within 72 hours of infection, not because i took PEP but to ask if there was any connection in terms of the infected becoming infectious before or after 72 hours. As you know this is the largest part of my fear regarding unknowingly passing on the virus. If you have any scientific information in terms of this i'd be grateful to read it.

The only reason i went into the other forum was to follow a thread that was started in the am i infected forum, which i believe is very relevant to my circumstances. I do hope that you are right about the people not having contracted hiv by getting a blow job. Of course i am very sorry that anyone contracts it in any way as it is a cruel virus that nobody should have to suffer, but i am referring specifically to my own possible exposures.

I hope you understand that when my wife had her symptoms and i am still experiencing my painful swollen glands, whatever i read always leads to hiv. I am comforted when i'm told it can't be contracted by anything i have done, but doubts completely take over when you read people saying that they have caught it that way. Is there anything else that can cause all of our symptoms, especially my wifes bad night sweats and my chronic sore throat and long term swollen painful glands?

I would be grateful if you could give me your final observations to the above as i have decided to take some time off work to try to calm myself down and to try to stay away from the internet for a while. If i can't rationalise my fears following this i will have to force myself to test.

You wouldn't have received PEP from any doctor I know, unless you would lie to them and tell them you had unprotected anal sex or vaginal sex with a positive person. It seems as though you have the idea that PEP is the "cure all", well it it isn't. If you want to test go test, collect your negative result and put an end to all of this.

We cannot diagnose you or your wife over the internet. Nobody can. You're just going to have to go and see your doctor(s) to find out what, if anything, is going on.

Whatever it is, it won't be hiv because hiv is NOT transmitted to a man receiving a blowjob.

And as we have told you, if you cannot bring yourself to believe the science behind hiv transmission, then go test and collect your negative result. See your doctor for a full check-up - you could be missing something serious and important by focusing solely on something you cannot possibly have.

Please read through the Welcome Thread and pay particular attention to the posting guideline that talks about repeatedly posting over a no-risk situation. Please consider yourself warned.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Ann, I appreciate that you are getting frustrated with me and I don't blame you. I only wish I could find the courage to test. I am absolutely terrified that if i do it will come back positive. I know that a bj under normal circumstances poses no risk. However having contracted herpes during this bj, experienced an overwhelming amount of very real symptoms, with generalised painful swollen glands for almost five months now and my wife's symptoms, i honestly can't see what else it can be. And believe me I would be so delighted if it only were something else non-infectious, no matter how serious, as this would hopefully put my wife in the clear. I have searched and searched and await my doctor's results to find out if it actually can be anything else. I pray day and night that it is. What is very scary is that there are people who swear they have aquired hiv this way. I have also read about various people's ars experiences, which have rendered me petrified. There are very few conditions that will keep your glands swollen for months. Previous to this, two weeks post exposure i had acute illnes for weeks. I haven't read any WW on this forum who has reported as many symptoms releveant to ars.

I know i will have to find the courage to test one day if only to ensure that my wife gets the treatment she needs if required. I know if i do and i test positive it will be the end of my marriage and my life in general. Add to this the guilt of possibly unknowingly infecting the person you love most in the world and it doesn't exactly add up to a bright future. I wish i had thought of this before being so stupid. If i did post a positive result here would you think i had lied about my risk or do you really believe it is absolutely impossible to aquire hiv this way? I really have no need to lie as i want as accurate an opinion as i can get.

I only asked the question regarding PEP as to whether there was any scientific evidence that the reason PEP started within 72 hours was because the virus didn't replicate within this time and therefore you could not be contagious until after this time (if that makes sense) and Ann i am sure you understand why i ask this. Rod i am sorry if my poor interpritation caused you to not understand what i was asking. I would be grateful for your response on this.

I am once again sorry if i have frustrated and pissed you off, but i am not in a good frame of mind at the moment. There really is no need to ban me Ann as i now intend to switch off the forum and internet for the next few weeks to reflect and decide what to do for the best. I hope i can make the right decision and would be very grateful if you could please reply to me one more time.

I am forever in your debt as this has been the only place i have ever been able to be so honest about the mistakes i have made and the fears i have.

The time frame for someone to become capable of transmitting the virus will vary from person to person. Infectiousness has NOTHING to do with the time frame for PEP initiation. A person who has actually been infected and is on PEP may still become infectious despite the drugs if the virus is able to take hold. (PEP carries no guarantee of blocking infection) Anti-hiv drugs do NOT stop people from transmitting the virus.

But this is academic anyway. You could not possibly have been infected through getting your dick sucked. Herpes, yes. Hiv, no.

I hope you mean what you say about turning your computer off. It's doing you no good at all. If you continue to need support over this no-risk issue, this isn't the place to get that support, you need to see someone face-to-face.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Let me start by saying thankyou to Mtd and Ann for your kind replies. I obviously want to believe what you are telling me. And yes Ann i am going to keep to my word of staying away from the internet for at least a few eeks. This will therefore be my last post for the forseeable future.

Yesterday i decided to phone the parlour i visited for the bj. I didn't ask directly about the lady's status as i know this is uncool. What i found out was that the lady i saw was actually working yesterday. I asked questions as though i was planning a visit there. I asked them also if their ladies had regular sexual health checkups. The receptionist said that all their ladies had tests monthly for their own safety. Do you think i can rely on this information? I think i got hsv1 during the bj, so it wouldn't necessarily be picked up during gum tests if she had it actively or inactively on her mouth area would it?

I also did some research about hsv and it turns out that rarely you can have an auto-immune response, which can cause a mild pneumonia with many of the symptoms i have been experiencing (mycoplasma pneumoniae). I hope you are proud of me for looking outside the hiv box ann

I am going to do my best to calm myself down and try not to think too much about hiv for the next few weeks, although i do know i'll have to test at some point to get closure and hopefully it will be a good result for us.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Sorry to be back again, i stayed away as long as i could. Still scared. Still too scared to test. Still living life in "autopilot".

Still got sore throat and chest. All my glands are still swollen and occasionally painful after 5 1/2 months. Got two extra swollen nodes, one in my forearm (rolls around like a marble under the skin), and one on my hip. I get frequent dizzy spells. I still get bouts of fatigue after slight exertion.

My wife developed one big painful gland in her neck (she asked me to feel it), which swole up quite large but went down after a few days. It's still there after one week but much smaller and less painful). I told her to see the doctor if it's still there in a few days (I know, good one to give medical advice!).

It must be hiv as i don't know of anything else that would be causing this for so long and symptoms slightly differing in both of us - much more prominent in me. Wife doesn't have the slightest thought for hiv, but then again why would she?

I'm not panicing or really stressed any more, just that it is constantly on my mind. Just had to get my thoughts out loud as i don't have anyone to talk to about it.

Can't take the test as i am convinced it will be positive. Our lives will be devastated. If we get very ill in time to come, our lives will be devastated. No win situation.

It must be hiv as i don't know of anything else that would be causing this for so long

Need,

So you don't know of anything else that could be causing this for so long? Hmmm... let me think now. Maybe it's because you are not a doctor?!?

Stop with the self diagnosis. Why you have fixated on hiv as the only possible cause to your problems is beyond me. There are thousands of other pathogens out there. Go to your doctor and find out which one is causing your problems - hiv has nothing to do with what you are experiencing.

Getting your dick sucked will not result in hiv infection. It never has yet and you won't be the first.

If it takes giving you a time out to encourage you to get help more appropriate to your needs, then so be it. Please consider yourself warned.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

It's been six months now. Still worried but i don't stress out like i used to. What worries me is that i still have all these swollen glands and got yet another one a few days ago at the top of my jaw under my ear. It was very painful but has gone down a bit now. I really can't see what else would cause my glands to stay swollen for so long. Can't be cancerous as they cause pain and move freely under the skin. My chest is still tight and wheezy and my throat is still sore, but not as bad as it used to be. Still get fatigued and dizzy for periods and now i have developed a low ringing in my ears periodically. Flashbacks to my initial illness 2 weeks after the bj sometimes cause me to get frightened but i wouldn't say i'm really stressed any more. Wife still suffering from night sweats. One really bad one in the last few weeks ( had to get up and get changed) and a few moderate ones.

I do try to keep myself productively busy as you suggested, in some good and some not so good ways ( nothing harmful just a few drinks too many in my own company sometimes - i know this isnt good).

Can i really rest easily? Am i kidding myself during the times i think to myself "it cant be hiv - i havent had unprotected vaginal or anal with anyone"?

Have you had anyone on this forum reporting ars symptoms, positive herpes, followed by long term (months) generalised swollen painful nodes all over the place (neck, chest. arm, armpits, jaw, groin), with partner reporting mild ars symptoms, severe continuous night sweats, swollen node, or similar and still test negative?

Do you know of serodiscordant couples who practice unprotected bj's with protected sex and the negative partner continues to test negative? Would a bj giver's high viral load affect the risk to the insertive partner if there were cuts or ulcers present?

I really wish i could believe there was a chance i could test negative with all this going on.............

You never mention going to the doctor with all these problems you're having. For all you know, you could have anything. TB springs to mind. Whatever it is, you didn't get hiv from a blowjob. No way, no how.

You need to go get some face-to-face help with your issues. We cannot do that for you here, in fact there is nothing more we can do for you here.

I'm giving you a four week time out to encourage you to deal with your problems - both physical and the anxiety stuff - in a more appropriate, face-to-face setting.

Do not create a new account to get around your time out because I will know and will ban you permanently if you do.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hi, U r absolutely fine as i also had similar symtoms and spent my six months like a hell, i even had a white tongue and it is still there now after 8 months after recieving a blow job. I got tested for hiv 5 times till 7 months after exposure and was negative so don't blow ur brains out and don't ruin ur life because i know that u didn't picked up hiv from this incident. Get tested i am sure u r HIV negative and atleast that will ease out ur mind, u r wasting one of the best period of ur life for things that u can't possibly have so move on with ur life and for the peace of mind get tested.

I understand why you gave me a timeout, but don't think it was necessary as i rarely post here these days and am not likely to again after this for a long time. As I said I have been to the doctor but have been too much of a coward to go back for my blood test results. There lies another major problem I suppose........I'm a big coward at heart. If I wasn't then i'd have tested by now; regardless of the result.

I'm afriad that my glands are still swollen and painful, still have dizzy spells bad chest and ringing in my ears and my wife is still suffering from bad night sweats. Still worry about it but try to put it to the back of my mind best I can. Time will tell i suppose unless I get the balls to actually test.

Is it really possible we are negative despite all these problems?

Can you also please tell me Ann; you seem to always say that i didn't get hiv by getting a blow job - does that mean that you think i could be positive (due to the symptoms) by other means, or is it your best opinion that I am negative. I have honestly told you that i have never engaged in unprotected vaginal or anal sex, but have had unprotected oral. This I promise you is 100% true. I appreciate I may be being paranoid about any comments made - please tell me if that's the case .

I hope you are all keeping well.

PS. Thank you Worried - your comments were apprieciated and I do hope you are over your problems.

Once again, see your doctor about your symptoms. You could be missing something important by your insistence that it has to be hiv. You did not become infected with hiv through getting a blowjob. Not one person ever has and you won't be the first.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

As I said in my last post I don't intend to post regularly here as I appreciate that your patience is wearing thin with me, and I don't blame you. I have however had a bad few days recently. My mind is torn in two.

On the one hand I am told I havent had a risk and I really want to believe that.

On the other hand, both of us had an "ARS type" illness at exactle the right time. My glands are still swollen and very painful at times - they have been swollen now for eight months. Still having some problems with my chest. Still have bouts of fatigue. Having lots of skin problems and some headaches and periodic eye floaters. I also strangely still have rining in my ears which is very prominent when i'm in the quiet with no surrounding noise.

My wife is still having drenching night sweats still having to get up some nights to change her clothes and sheets. She had started to worry about this now naturally and searched on the internet the other day for causes. When a list of conditions came up of course hiv was one. She said to me "at least I don't have to worry that it may be hiv". I felt like shit.

I cant help but believe that there could never be that much of a co-incidence - contracting herpes and then all this.

On top of that did you know there is a clinical trial going on which is trying to supress genital herpes in hiv infected people as they are 5 times more likely to pass on hiv. On the clinical trials site it states that when someone contacts hiv it is often preceded by herpes symptoms.

What am I to think?? Still to scared and cowardly to test.

I know if i tested positive my wife will also be pos. This would have to mean that would have to be the unluckiest people alive. I would have had to have contracted it by getting a blow job and would have passed it on to my wife less than two days later, as this was the only time we had unprotected sex after the bj. It would also mean i assume that we have both progressed to the symptomatic stage immediately. Am I right to assume that most infected people have an asymptomatic phase of some sort?

The only other possible risk (which I know you will tell me wasn't a risk) was protected sex about a week and a half before the bj which lasted 10 mins. I dont think it could have happened then as the herpes symptoms timeline wouldnt match (it would have meant my herpes symptoms started after more than two weeks).

Please be patient with me. This is the only place I can talk about it.

Can I really relax despite the VERY real problems we are experiencing? My nodes have been diagnosed by a doctor and there is no denying what is happening with my wife. She also has periods of fatigue and muscular (or possibly glandular) aches.

I would be VERY grateful for your patience in answering these questions.

1. IF ( and I stress that I said if) we had contracted hiv, would this mean that we were both symptomatic? How common or rare is it to go right to being symptomatic from ARS?

2. Do you agree when I say that we would have to be extremely unlucky for a) me to have contracted it under the circumstances i've told you, b) me to pass it on to my wife in less than two days, and c) for both of us to become symptomatic so early in infection?

Please Ann and Andy I would really appreciate your valued comments on these questions.

If you doctor has agreed with you that your nodes are swollen, this is not really a diagnosis. A diagnosis means that you have discovered the reason why they are swollen. Go back to your doctor and get to the bottom of it.

We cannot diagnose you here. You have to see your doctor for that. All we can do for you is give you a risk assessment - and we have told you that getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection. If you don't believe us, go get tested.

If you continue to post over this instead of seeing your doctor, then I will have to give you another time out to encourage you to ... see your doctor!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you Ann for your kind reply. I really do appreciate your comments.

I have always been 100% honest here about ALL my potential risks and our symptoms. That's what makes it so terrifying and confusing.

How on earth can we possibly be negative and have all these symptoms? DO you really think it's possible Ann?

You won't need to give me a time out Ann because I promise I won't post here again unless I get the courage to test. You have made it very clear that your assessment is that I won't contract hiv from a blow job or protected sex and I hope to God you are right because that is HONESTLY the only potential risks I have ever had. I would appreciate your final comments to the above questions and as I said I won't post again unless I test.

Yes, it is absolutely possible to have every alleged hiv symptom that you ever read about and yet be hiv negative. This is because the symptoms that are produced by hiv are very general symptoms, symptoms that are shared by nearly every other illness on the planet.

Fever? A general symptom. Swollen lymph? A general symptom. Both are reactions that will be caused by the presence any pathogen in the body. Rashes are common and caused by all sorts of things. Diarrhea is common and can be caused by anything from stress, to a flu bug or a dodgy dinner. None of the so-called hiv symptoms are specific to hiv. They all occur with many, many other illnesses.

You need to go to your doctor and get to the bottom of your problems. You could be missing something very important - or something very simple - by your insistance that it has to be hiv. Hiv is the last thing you should be considering. You haven't put yourself at risk for hiv.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts