Wednesday, May 15, 2013

FICTION: Past Midnight, Part the Third

[When we last saw the Diner, it had just received new paint and fixtures, with a bit of a twist... or is that ... a slide? Something delicious was cooking up in the kitchen, Sarah was speaking backward... wait, *backward*? And everyone was looking for Rex.]

The front door
bell jingled as Chris walked in.

"Still
looking for the little twerp?" asked Chris.

"I thought
you were out by 61 Cygni?"

"Hey,
faster-than-light, faster-than-time."Chris stepped behind the counter, grabbed a sandwich from the
refrigerator case and propped his elbows on the edge of the kitchen
window."Just picking up a snack
then gettin' the heck out of Dodge 'fore Wolfie shows up."

The front door
chimed sounded again, and the bellow: "FRENCH!" was heard.

"Whoops,
gotta go.You can give Wolfie
this."He laid a battered brown
wallet on the window ledge. "*After* I'm gone."Chris ducked behind the counter, pulled back
his sleeve and pressed a button on the elaborate electronic band strapped to
his wrist.With a shimmer of sparkling
light, Chris French had left the building.

---

And with another shimmer, Chris
French was back.Fortunately he muttered
the curses under his breath so that Sarah didn't have to take *official*
notice.He stabbed at buttons on the
wristband and Sean advanced on him.

"French.Speaker's taught me all about some nice
little toxins.You're going to *love*
being a Zombie."

Chris gave up on the transporter
and decided to bolt for the Men's Room.

"Zombies?" asked Eeyore,
as he and Dick walked in the door."I'm gonna have to go back to the Madhouse for more gear.Dick? What've you got"?"

"Nine mil, forty-five, Garand,
AR-10, twelve-gauge, what do you need?"

"Gentlemen," said Sarah,
sternly."This isn't the
Tavern.Are you lost?"

"Ah, no, Sarah, we're just
following our noses.Dick doesn't really
have all of that."Eeyore turned to
look at Dick who was smiling and nodding his head."You do?" Eeyore asked.Dick nodded."On you?"Dick
continued to nod."Damn.You sure can put it away.Speaking of which…What's that wonderful smell?You can smell it all through the Tavern next
door.Given John's long absence, the
stock's getting a bit thin over there."

"Tell you what," smiled
Sarah. "Put the firepower away and bring over that 21 year old Oban this
evening and you can join the lunch crowd."

"You mean supper, right?But sure, it's Speaker's anyway.We just keep it safe for him over
there."Eeyore grinned. "…and here,
and there, and wherever there's a Scotch-aficionado.We should have a bit left."

Eeyore and Dick headed for a booth,
but instead of sitting down, Eeyore turned and said: "I think I'll hit the
head first.Order me a Diet Coke?"

Dick nodded, then looked down and
noticed The Drool, hiding out under the jukebox.Normally, the Bassett showed up, *then* the
drool, but The Bassett was nowhere in sight.Was The Drool now arriving *ahead* of The Bassett?Sort of a mucous version of the Stench of
Foul Ol' Ron?

---

"One last thing,
Ma'am."Mack caught Sarah's
attention again."One of my guys
said there's something wrong with the Men's Room door.It seems to be locked from the inside.We've got a locksmith down at
headquarters.Would you like me to send him
out tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?Isn't there any way to get him today?"

"Today?Ma'am?I don't understand, it's nearly Midnight!Why, that would be Double Overtime!In another few hours it would be a normal
charge."

"What? No.It's just noon… isn't it?"Sarah looked outside.It was dark.The lights were on and traffic was light.The parking lot over at Ringo's Tavern was
full, but they were all night owls, anyway."What happened?Weren't we
just about to serve Lunch?

"Laura?" she called out
to the kitchen."What time did you
get here?"

"About nine.I popped the casserole in the oven around
eleven and it's nearly done."

Amanda was looking at Sarah
strangely."Sarah, we got here
right before noon!"

Just at that point Chris French
raced past muttering something about Rex and the restroom.He managed to stay about 3 feet in front of
Sean."Chris?What time did you get here?" Sarah
asked.

"Around two, I think. Flime
ties when you're having *such* fun." He said sarcastically.

"Wolfie?" Sarah called
after them before they got to the front door.

" 'round four." Sean
called back over his shoulder as he raised his sword and raced out the front
door.They raced past too quickly for
Sarah to consciously note the change in their appearance." '…and all for one!' my *ass*
French…" could be heard echoing down the street.

"Dick?What time did you and Eeyore get here?"

"We walked in at six on the
nose, Sarah.You *know* how punctual
Eeyore is."

The front door had barely slammed
shut behind Wolfie when Speaker walked in the door, several Lab Rats™ peeking
out of the pockets of his lab coat."Cleaning crew's here.Wow!Nice paint and wax job, Mack!Laura!That smells just the way it should – did you make more?Was it a hit?"

"Speaker.Quick.What time is it?"Sarah had
an edge of panic to her voice.

"Just past midnight.Same as usual, you know I can’t start writing
until late."

"Oh.No. … No!Swords?Feathered hats?Burgundy,
white and *black*?" Sarah stared as Eeyore returned from the
restroom.He *looked* the same, well,
except for the long brown hair, pencil thin mustache and small goatee.

"Milady.Might we trouble you for some repast?"
Eeyore asked."My companion and I
are famished.He stared at her intently
and continued:

[Now, *why* is Eeyore speaking in blank verse? Who is Chris French, and why has he stolen Wolfie's wallet? Tune in next time when we meet the Lab Rats (tm) and discover the strange blue glow coming from around the Men's Room door!]