Tiger Woods Texted Some Proctological Advice to Rory McIlroy

Tiger Woods Texted Some Proctological Advice to Rory McIlroy

Rory McIlroy is in Houston for the Shell Houston Open this week, trying to get his game back on track before the Masters. Tiger Woods just won a tournament last weekend and is on top of the world, and full of advice.

Here’s Jerome Solomon of the Houston Chronicle relaying that advice, according to Rory McIlroy.

Rory McIlroy says he got text from Tiger this morning telling him to “get my finger out of my ass & win this week.” #shellhoustonopen

Comments

but the guess here is that Tiger is just the latest victim of a bad auto-replace

Then where is he supposed to get his finger out of?

scripty

never heard this one before, but the guess here is that Tiger is just the latest victim of a bad auto-replace.

That’s not an uncommon saying, “dont sit there with your finger up your ass” or something to that effect. Earl Woods was military so maybe that’s where he got it, as I’ve heard my dad and some of my old coaches use that phrase (also ex military)

ms621

That’s not an uncommon saying, “dont sit there with your finger up your ass” or something to that effect. Earl Woods was military so maybe that’s where he got it, as I’ve heard my dad and some of my old coaches use that phrase (also ex military)

I always heard it as “thumb up your ass”. But I suppose it works all the same.

Jason Lisk

I’ve heard “get your head out of your ass” and “don’t sit there with your finger in your ass” so we just mixed ass advice, it appears

http://www.majorleaguejerk.com/ spencer096

hah…caroline wozniaki’s penis is named “my finger.”

http://joebushtradepub.blogspot.com Shining Base Path

he cant find his ass with a road map

is a favorite ass/dummmie saying

dikembemutomballs

That’s not an uncommon saying, “dont sit there with your finger up your ass” or something to that effect. Earl Woods was military so maybe that’s where he got it, as I’ve heard my dad and some of my old coaches use that phrase (also ex military)”

I was about to say…I can’t be the only one who has had the “get your thumb out of your ass and quit screwing around” order barked at them. Good thought on the military as an origin, Scripty. My grandfather served in the Navy in WWII and either he or my dad introduced me to that one – and if it was my dad I’m comfortable I know where he learned it, himself.

pretty easy when youre better than every single other human on the face of the planet at the game.

Yeah, but some of those guys are dicks. I bet if you caught him in the right pro-am or non-tourney round, he’d be fun to play with. Phil fell off my list when he was giving those silly thumbs up to the Euros when they started whooping our ass at the Ryder Cup. Tiger’s advice should’ve been extended his way as well.

http://twitter.com/SirLoinTipz Pastor of Muppets

I’ve heard “get your head out of your ass” and “don’t sit there with your finger in your ass” so we just mixed ass advice, it appears

Don’t cross the road if you can’t get out of the kitchen

/Doc’d

ms621

pretty easy when youre better than every single other human on the face of the planet at the game.

I’d pay good money to follow him and Charles Barkley around for 36 holes.

scripty

Not sure who looks more aged for his young age, Rory or Manziel. They both look like they “chose poorly” in the Grail room.

/well this certainly is the cup, of the king of kings!
//dies

CObear

hah…caroline wozniaki’s penis is named “my finger.”

Spence, you seem to have Rory pegged.

Nada

That’s not an uncommon saying, “dont sit there with your finger up your ass”

My junor high football coach loved to use the expression “piss or get off the pot.”

I’d always think: You piss sitting down? Like a girl?!

So his expression wasn’t really effective.

http://www.majorleaguejerk.com/ spencer096

Yeah, but some of those guys are dicks. I bet if you caught him in the right pro-am or non-tourney round, he’d be fun to play with.