‘Vagina Weightlifting’ Is Kegel Exercise For Extremists

Kegel exercises have been taken up a notch thanks to vaginal muscle extremists. “Vagina weightlifting” allows you to work those pelvic floor muscles like never before, according to sex coach Kim Anami.

Anami is so passionate about this cause that she created a video showcasing the “Ten Reasons To Lift Weights With Your Vagina.” I was impressed that she was even able to come up with 10, until I saw them. The video certainly has more than a few stretches (pun intended).

Her first reason? Kegals don’t work. Anami uses the comparison of trying to build the muscles in your arms by flexing. Your arms need weights and apparently your hooha does too.

The phrase “like never before” is mentioned a lot, as in you’ll orgasm and please your man like never before (does Anami have a part-time job writing headlines for Cosmo?) Her video leaves something for everyone. She even appeals to competitive types by reminding them that with proper training, they can try to beat Tatyana Kozhevnikova’s Guinness World Record for lifting a 31 pound kettle ball with her vag. Creeped out yet?

My favorite reasons are obviously the most ridiculous ones. Anami promises that you’ll “Be The Life of The Party.” Apparently vagina weightlifting will allow you to play beer pong with your nether region and crack open brewskies with your pelvic muscles — every man’s dream. Bonus, when you lose all of your American friends for dropping trou at parties, you can move to Amsterdam and work the sex show circuit.

There is also the promise of an increased libido. “Sex is 10,000 times more pleasurable with a sensitive and articulate vagina.” She does not mention whether the same result can be reached by having your vajayjay read Proust on the weekends.

I’ll admit there is something oddly empowering about a video that imagines your vagina as a superhero, but the rope hanging from the demonstrator’s lady parts seriously skeeves me out. These at least look a little more vagina-friendly.

I also feel like Anami is leaving out some key information here. Like, where do you buy the equipment? Is there a DIY vagina weights section of Pinterest? Will you have to cut holes in all of your Lululemon leggings? I suggest a FAQ section of her website ASAP because I would seriously love to read it.