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Thanks thats what we did but the server actually came back and said I didn't explain did I about the 12% service but gratuity extra. I said nope but hopefully you found the gratuity in cash with the check? He didn't say anything and wandered off

That is a bit of a trick, as far as I'm concerned. You don't often see it in food and beverage, but it happens. You'll find it in spa services too. I'll add a bit, but point out that since the "service fee" (or whatever it is that particular establishment calls their hidden charge) is already calculated, I rounded it "up."

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Reader's Digest just ran an interesting article about tipping back a couple of months ago. A couple of things stood out to me.

1. Don't refuse to tip for bad service but rather talk to the manager.

2. Waiters don't keep all of their tips, they share with the bartender, bus boys etc.

3. Bartenders should always be tipped, anywhere from $1.00 to $2.00 per drink or 15 -20% of the check.

And Keith I have to take a different stance on the 12% service charge and tip. If the waiters are not receiving a salary then that 12% is their salary. Tips should theoretically be over and above that, so 8% is really not a great tip. Since the IRS figures a wait person's income based on a percentage of sales the 8% may actually be costing them money. I know it sucks but unfortunately that is the way of life here in the US.

1. Don't refuse to tip for bad service but rather talk to the manager.

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yeah Im 50/50 on this one. On the one hand, whilst it's happening, speaking to the manager is the way to go to try and get it fixed no doubt. On the other hand, having to do that can easily ruin an evening whereas a small, or no, tip should send a clear message to the under performing server. Up to the client IMHO

2. Waiters don't keep all of their tips, they share with the bartender, bus boys etc.

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yep true enough

3. Bartenders should always be tipped, anywhere from $1.00 to $2.00 per drink or 15 -20% of the check.

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makes me laugh this one but it's the way it is and that's that.

And Keith I have to take a different stance on the 12% service charge and tip. If the waiters are not receiving a salary then that 12% is their salary. Tips should theoretically be over and above that, so 8% is really not a great tip. Since the IRS figures a wait person's income based on a percentage of sales the 8% may actually be costing them money. I know it sucks but unfortunately that is the way of life here in the US.

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absolutely! that's the question really. Are they REALLY not receiving a salary :/ or are they saying they receive a base but then the 12% is a base "tip" to ensure they always come out with something and then anything exceptional is over and above that.

Really hard to tell IMHO and it's pretty awkward to have to ask! I guess I'll email them for some clarity for next time

Bern's was great as you'd expect. Truly wonderful food and a lovely experience.

The guy who served us provided polite but basic service. Nothing to complain about but far from the effusive service offered by others there. It was very much "what would you like" "here it is".

Nonetheless, we got what we needed and that's fine so I wanted to ensure I was tipping him 20% since, although that was probably high for the service actually received ;-) it was what I felt comfortable with.

So I saw the 12% service charge thing. I couldn't really see what others were doing. Looked online on my phone and the consensus seemed to be that it was a way of ensuring that the servers got a baseline "tip" for doing their job and anything over that was optional according to service.

So I actually just looked at what the 12% had been and put that much again in cash with the check. In my mind that was giving him closer to 24% than anything else.

..but then I started to wonder if that was REALLY the case, or was 12% his wage and then 12% his tip which as you say would be low.

Problem being, how would I know without asking which frankly would have felt awkward at best.

"Mr.Pritchard,
Thank you for inquiring about the tipping practices here at Bern's Steak
House. As an avid traveler abroad I too have been confused by the various
"tipping norms". Here at Bern's the 12% service charge serves as a tipping
base. Most guests will leave an additional 3% to 8% gratuity for fine
service. I hope this will assist you and we look forward to having you join
us again in the near future.
Sincerely,
Joseph Donoian
Dining Room Manager
Bern's Steak House"

If someone is a bad server, I don't know that not leaving a tip at all or a small one would even make the point known. They would more than likely blame the patron. Talking to the manager would be best.

That being said, I think a lot if servers get blamed for things that are not their fault. If the food is not as good as you expected, that would be the kitchens fault and should be addressed with management.

Also if it appears the the server is clearly overworked and appears to be trying, I would bring that to managements attention.

You drop my food off and ignore me or you let my glass get empty, that is a server problem.

yeah, I hear you about the server getting blamed for things that aren't their fault. Still, I'd hope they'd understand that and would work to kick other parts of the "team" that arent performing so as not to affect their tip.

In terms of talking to the manager, again yeah I dont think there can be an argument that it's the most sensible option, but yah know, sometimes I'm just not up for the fight? Especially when I've given somewhere a second chance and it's been as bad or worse than the first. I'll just think ok, last time for me, I'm done.

..but overall yeah, I do accept that it's best to give the place a chance to fix the problem whilst it's happening.