I've come to believe that getting a good sense of a person through their profile is usually hopeless. That being said, let's do our best. Deal?

I went to princeton and really like milky way bars. These two facts are very different, of course. One of them represents a big part of who I am, how I hope you'll judge me, and something I've spent too much money on. The other is just where I did my undergrad.

Since graduation a few years ago, I've been working full-time in the city and part-time on a Master’s, because apparently I hate myself.

What I’m doing with my life

I’m a software developer. There's a pretty good chance that when you see an ad on the interwebs, my team had something to do with it. Sorry about that. I totally understand if you want to curse me the next time you have to sit through a youtube pre-roll.

Anyway, despite the unfortunate stereotypes, I’m not an awkward nerd with glasses and a pocket protector; I wear contacts and hardly any of my shirts even have pockets. But in all seriousness, not that there’s anything wrong with being that way, it really bothers me when others assume that programming and “geekiness” are inseparable. #rants

I’m really good at

Judging strangers on the subway with impunity, inflicting highly targeted ads on the (un?)suspecting e-public, inane comments, pretending I know what I'm talking about, tennis, tetris, and making milkshakes with just the right consistency

The first things people usually notice about me

The burrito I keep taped to my forehead. Ugh, I don’t know. My wry wit? My cowlick? Should we meet, please do tell me, so I can put something a little less stupid here.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Movies: Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, LOTR, AnchormanBooks: My favorite book of all time is easily Dune. If you haven’t read it, you've made a horrible mistake. I used to read a lot of novels, but I haven’t in a long while. Now I pretty much just go for the news and a few blogs.Music: I’m mainly into alternative rock like the Killers and Weezer, and classic rock with a southern twang, like the Eagles or Allman Brothers Band. I'm fairly distraught to have to share a universe with Coldplay.TV Shows: Daily Show, Colbert, Late Night with Craig Ferguson, Meet the Press, Chopped

The six things I could never do without

Pillows, internet,Java, family, the Jets,And sometimes haiku

If your reaction just now was to double-check the number of syllables, then1) We’ll probably get along pretty well2) Don’t be such a skeptic! I’m also really good at counting to at least 7, maybe even 20 (with my socks off).

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Who the hell thought it was ok for "queueing" to have so many vowels in a row?

Honorable mention: How did the remote get all the way over there?

But as ridiculous as much of this profile is, I'm not a complete goofball. I love discussing anything from politics to sports or tv shows.

On a typical Friday night I am

Being pulled in every direction by everything in the universe.No, that's not a metaphor. It's just gravity.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I think Brian Williams is fantastic. There’s just something incredible about how great he is at both delivering the news and performing comedy on shows like 30 Rock. Edit: Yes, completely devastated by recent events.

I'm planning to live forever. So far, so good.

One more thing about this section: It doesn't make sense to respond with something like "it wouldn't be private if I admitted it here". If I asked you who the shortest player on the Knicks is, would you say, "none, they're all tall"?

You should message me if

It would be nice if a few of these are true:- You're willing to put up with someone who, as it's probably become clear, is really just a high-functioning idiot.- You consider mediocre a dirty word.- You don't "throw like a girl".- You didn't answer "livin' it" for what you're doing with your life. I mean, honestly. Thank you for that insightful comment.- You've found a mistake in my profile. Corrections welcome.- I'm obviously biased on this one, but if I sent you a message! I can pretty much guarantee I read your entire profile + a decent chunk of your match questions, and put some thought into whether/what to send/say.