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Like most things dealing with sex there’s not a great amount of instructive information on the act of cunilingus otherwise known as sucking cunt or twat, ‘going down on it’ and muff-diving. Sure there are videos on the Internet depicting the act even with cameras in the vagina filming the face and actions of the guy doing it. Perhaps they are helpful as a teaching tool but there aren’t, to my knowledge, any credible clinical studies to demonstrate any added or unique benefit.

Yes, there are women who love cunilingus and easily reach climax even when done by an inferior performer.

Yes, there are women who like and are stimulated by it, but cannot reach climax until there is some type of vaginal penetration either with the penis, dildo, vibrator or G’s favorite, fingers.

Yes, there are women who, by stimulating their clitorises, reach climax by masturbation using various methods including having an animal execute the act.

Yes, there are indications that younger women are increasingly turning to cunilingus as the preferred way to reach climax for reasons which are not clear. I’m not aware if that’s true with the older ladies.

Yes, there are significant numbers of women who don’t take to cunilingus- at all!

Yes, there are lots of men who don’t like doing it Maybe because they just don’t like being ‘down there’ like some women are with fellatio. Also, they learned by experience that they turn women off in their attempt probably because of their lack of know- how.

Those of you who follow my posts full well know that I’d contact G and get his take on muff- diving, the term that he prefers because it, according to him, has a broader meaning than cunilingus. I called him and asked him to very briefly describe what he means by muff-diving. As usual, he burst into laughter when I presented him with a complicated sex question.

“Lorenzo, in our Casanova book I described the ‘art’ of muff- diving in great detail. It’s involves much more sophistication than what is generally considered as cunilingus. Though I don’t know all the facts, I’m pretty sure that oftentimes ‘going down on it’ or cunilingus is done when the hormone levels are high, and it doesn’t take much to bring a woman to climax by a simple act. And there are all kinds of uncomplicated situations where this successfully happens. And I’m all for them. Life is complicated enough.

“But my experience is complicated and deals mostly with mature, attractive and mostly intelligent women in a single, prolonged encounter where women first experience my way of muff-diving. I’m not bragging when I say it is- or at least used to be- performed on a very high artistic level. To me, the entire combination of what a man does when performing cunilingus is the greatest art form in love making. It’s as much mental as physical. Maybe more mental for it depends on a woman’s mind and how you open up her doors of sexual receptivity. Let’s not forget, that a woman’s mind, even during the act of sex, is much more psychological than a man’s. It’s greater expectations again!

“Now, Lorenzo, I’m going to sound like you and clinically very briefly describe my style. As I said in the book, there are two parts which are intertwined and going on at the same time. The first is how you position your face against the vulva, and the second is everything else you do. I cannot emphasize how critical the first part is. Your face must, in a real sense, become biologically one with the vulva. When that happens a woman becomes immediately receptive and everything else you do to increase her arousal state is tremendously enhanced. Regarding the second part, the first principal is to proceed slowly- and I mean, slowly. This, of course, applies to the first part.

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again. My style of muff-diving is one of many other successful ones. It’s reserved for special, attractive, intelligent women on special high-level sexual encounters.”

It was evident that G had concluded his very brief description, so I decided to ask one last question. “G, any last thoughts?”

After a pause, he answered, “Lorenzo, I’m going to put on two hats- one as a businessman and the other as a social philosopher. There’s a huge market opportunity to create a franchise or chain like McDonald’s or Toys R Us to teach men and women the art of sophisticated love-making only. On the other hand, sex can warm up your home or burn it down, and it’s burning down lots of homes these days. Do we want more of it?”

Though G made love to about 300 women, he claims that very few lady lovers really lighted up his candles on an artful, elevated level. I suggested that maybe it’s because he usually had marathon- intense type sessions paying almost exclusive attention to them, and they simply were too satiated and hapily exhausted to have enough energy to pay sufficient attention to him. But he quickly dismissed this possibility. He firmly believes that the vast majority of women, like men, are mediocre lovers. He said that after their orgasms women are still energized and capable to continue with the sexual act while men are usually big-time relaxed, out of gas and just want to take a break or call it a day.

He said, “Look, Lorenzo, women have many more weapons to stimulate the sexual passions of men than men have for women. No matter what the modern propaganda is spewing out, men are big time hornier and infinitely more easily to stimulate than women. Men don’t have tits with cleavages to sensually flaunt them, beauty- enhancing make-up, particularly around the eyes, and sensuous asses.”

G paused and said, “I may take part of that back. I, would you believe, met a few women who were turned on by Mel Gibson’s ass. They were older ones. By the way, some said the same about my rear end, but that’s all I’ll say about that.”

G was really puzzled why women with so many sexual stimulating weapons hardly use or know how to use them. (Let’s not forget that he’s talking about having sex on a very high, sophisticated level). I decided to cut to the quick and asked, “G, what advice would you give to a woman to make her a bona fide lover like you?”

For some unknown reason, this question rubbed G wrong, and he shot back, “Lorenzo, I don’t like to be called a bona fide lover, and let’s drop that label.”

“Okay; let’s get to the point: How does a woman become a talented lover when it comes to a man?”

“There is no specific physical formula or recipe like, for example, the composition of the earth’s crust or fiori di zucchini. But there is one word that explains it all. It’s teasing!”

“G, if that’s true, why don’t we hear or see this word more often? The literature on sex advice is enormous, and I periodically scan it to see what’s going on. I don’t remember coming across that word except for now and then.”

“Who the hell knows? We can talk about this forever but let me give you the skinny with a few comments, and I’ll try not to sound like a professor of logic. I discussed the teasing art technique with the small number of the women who effectively teased me, and we were all in sync.

“In my vocabulary, teasing is a form of seduction. Generally speaking, during foreplay and the sexual act men prefer to be teased or seduced while women prefer to be dominated. Now there are two parts to teasing- the mental and physical. I can’t emphasize enough that both must generally be performed slowly, unlike delightful orgasm quickies which can effectively rid the mind of agita– for a short time.

“It all starts with the mystery and magic of body language from how she moves to the expression on her face. It’s what she wears, how she walks and how she talks. For example, my lady friends all agree that woman wearing high heels sitting with a short skirt pulled half-way up the thighs with her legs crossed stimulate men more than being naked and walking around with high heels. For the record, whether it’s true or not, the ladies tell me that the more sophisticated males are not that much turned on by stiletto heels. They also agree that regardless of breast size, it’s best to wear a top that has a suggestive cleavage, which becomes more effective when leaning forward. I can tell that in the foreplay phase, a bare-chested woman is nowhere as sensual as one with partially covered breasts which are seductively exposed. If done right, breast size, my friend, doesn’t matter. It’s all in the presentation along with her other wares.

“And then there’s the face and the eyes, those mirrors of the soul. The whole hit has to be inviting. Either you have that look or you don’t. It’s interesting to note that this quality, unlike some others, many women naturally have but don’t employ it, which is both a mystery and tragedy!

“Lorenzo, there’s so much, much more that a woman can do; for example, when and how to disrobe and how to twang instead of twerk. Once more, all these movements must be done slowly. I can write a book about this. Don’t get your hopes up, my friend, it ain’t going to happen!”

‘G, one more point. You’re talking about foreplay but what about initiating the real thing?”

“Okay; then I’ll say no more. The hands of a woman are extremely important in this phase but, now don’t think I’m going overboard, but they’re not great at using them. It puzzles the hell out of me. My lady friends, by the way, tell me the same about men. Hands should be receptively and firmly soft slowly probing men’s G spots including the face. While doing so and with a soft tone of voice, she should ask questions like, ‘Do you like this?’ or ‘Am I getting close?’ or ‘Shall I move on?’ while her her hands are still on the body parts either moving or at rest.

“And the man must be convinced that she is entirely selfless and dedicated to her goal to teasing him not with the language of a therapist but with sincere vocal tones that she really means it. I believe a woman will really enjoy the teasing approach once she learns and gets comfortable with it. To repeat, why they don’t do these enough puzzles the shit out of me. And let me repeat; I’m talking about high level sex which is an art form that must be developed and nurtured.”

I then asked, “G, can this approach be taught or is it an innate instinct?”

“That’s a great question, Lorenzo. Somebody, and I’m serious about this, should open “The Art of Teasing School for Women”, and my gut feeling is that a man should head it: Maybe with a woman. It could earn a ton of money which then can be franchised like McDonald’s!”

As a goad, I asked, “G, would you like to establish the first one?”

He laughed heartily and answered, “Lorenzo, I’m happy with my cabin in the mountains and my pad in Manhattan. These modern women who I’m meeting are certainly different than my 300 in the past. But, on second thought, not fundamentally so. Not yet. Who knows?”