Today's Stichomancy for Howard Stern

them. Not from any human throat were they born, for the organs
of man can yield no such acoustic perversions. Rather would one
have said they came from the pit itself, had not their source
been so unmistakably the altar-stone on the peak. It is almost
erroneous to call them sounds at all, since so much of their ghastly,
infra-bass timbre spoke to dim seats of consciousness and terror
far subtler than the ear; yet one must do so, since their form
was indisputably though vaguely that of half-articulate words.
They were loud - loud as the rumblings and the thunder above which
they echoed - yet did they come from no visible being. And because
imagination might suggest a conjectural source in the world of

The second excerpt represents the element of Fire. It speaks of emotional influences and base passions, and is drawn from Gorgias by Plato:

Nausicydes of the deme of Cholarges, studied together: there were four of
you, and I once heard you advising with one another as to the extent to
which the pursuit of philosophy should be carried, and, as I know, you came
to the conclusion that the study should not be pushed too much into detail.
You were cautioning one another not to be overwise; you were afraid that
too much wisdom might unconsciously to yourselves be the ruin of you. And
now when I hear you giving the same advice to me which you then gave to
your most intimate friends, I have a sufficient evidence of your real good-
will to me. And of the frankness of your nature and freedom from modesty I
am assured by yourself, and the assurance is confirmed by your last speech.
Well then, the inference in the present case clearly is, that if you agree

The third excerpt represents the element of Water. It speaks of pure spiritual influences and feelings of love, and is drawn from The Voice of the City by O. Henry:

perate melancholy to his eyes.

"Clara," he said, hollowly, "to struggle further
is useless. You have always misunderstood me.
Heaven knows I have striven with all my might to
keep my head above the waves of misfortune,
but - "
"Cut out the rainbow of hope and that stuff about
walkin' one by one through the narrow isles of
Spain," said Mrs. Peters, with a sigh. "I've heard
it so often. There's an ounce bottle of carbolic on the
shelf behind the empty coffee can. Drink hearty."

The fourth excerpt represents the element of Earth. It speaks of physical influences and the impact of the unseen on the visible world, and is drawn from The Rescue by Joseph Conrad:

upon all visible things. Mr. Travers had gone inside the Cage in
which he really looked like a captive and thoroughly out of
place. D'Alcacer had gone in there, too, but he preserved--or was
it an illusion? --an air of independence. It was not that he put
it on. Like Mr. Travers he sat in a wicker armchair in very much
the same attitude as the other gentleman and also silent; but
there was somewhere a subtle difference which did away with the
notion of captivity. Moreover, d'Alcacer had that peculiar gift
of never looking out of place in any surroundings. Mrs. Travers,
in order to save her European boots for active service, had been
persuaded to use a pair of leather sandals also extracted from