Still No Progress On Star Trek: The Next

It’s time for our monthly Star Trek sequel update in which we’re forced to tell you, once again, that nobody involved in the project really seems to be working on making it. In theory JJ Abrams, along with screenwriters Damon Lindeloff, Alex Kurtsman, and Roberto Orci, have been hard at work on putting together a followup since the first one debuted to stellar reviews and huge box office back in 2009. In reality, no one seems to be working on this movie at all.

In fact, as he told everyone last month, JJ Abrams once again reports that there’s no script. What’s more he still doesn’t seem to even know how much he’ll be involved in making it, if anyone ever does make it. Talking to Collider about whether he’ll direct Star Trek: The Next JJ makes it pretty clear that a script isn’t even close to existing. In fact he phrases it this way: “My hope is that they’ll write the script, it will be great and we can make a fun, exciting sequel to Star Trek.” Note the future tense used in reference to them writing the script, as if they haven’t even started yet.

Here’s what’s really depressing about all this. Originally word was that the next Star Trek was supposed to start shooting in 2010. Not only did it not shoot in 2010, they haven’t don anything at all with it, and any time anyone is asked about it there’s a complete lack of urgency to make it. At this rate, we won’t see another Star Trek movie till 2012 at the earliest and 2013 is looking more likely all the time. We’re looking at a minimum four year gap between movies, maybe even five. Meanwhile the same writers help Michael Bay churn out a new Transformers movie every other year.

It’s a strange situation. Maybe we fans are simply being selfish. They Trek team is off doing other projects, it’s understandable that they’d want to stretch their creative muscles on something else. Still, you’d think Paramount would want this sequel as soon as possible, before all the enthusiasm for it turns to dust and the cast becomes unvailable. You’ve got to wonder how long they’ll keep waiting for JJ Abrams and his writing team to make this movie their top priority, over writing for Hawaii Five-O or whatever the heck else it is they’re doing that will never matter as much to their audience as the next Star Trek will. You’d hate to see it in someone else’s hands, but better to bring in someone else who will actually work on it, than to wait around for people who will never make it at all… isn’t it?

Maybe, despite the massive amounts of money to be made, Paramount really isn’t in a big hurry. JJ Abrams has so many blockbuster projects pending with the studio, maybe they’re happy with whatever he’s doing, whether or not it’s Star Trek. With Abrams movies like Super 8 and Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol pushing their way through Paramount at a rapid pace, they’re certain to get rich off Abrams no matter what he’s doing.

That’s fine for Paramount but where does that leave starving Trek fans? Our only option would seem to be pornography. Adult film producers Revolution X and Digital Sin have announced that they’re doing a porn remake of Star Trek: The Next Generation using a “Captain Picard lookalike”. Star Trek: The Sex Generation (my title not theirs) begins filming next month and if you’re looking for new Trek, sadly it seems like this is as close as you’re going to get.