The Golden Globes red carpet event is a parade of people I don't know wearing dresses from designers I don't know. Most of my viewing experience thus far has been either asking my coworkers "who is that?" or Googling celebrity names. Here's my thoughts so far:

7:00 I just found out Amber Heard is the girl from Zombieland.

7:10 I get really excited whenever I recognize anyone.I know Bradley Cooper, Aubrey Plaza, and the woman from The Big Bang Theory.

7:11 I also know Ryan Seacrest, because apparently it's now literally illegal to have any event without him hosting it. He has somehow made a career out of hanging around and asking celebrities the same three questions.