'Baby Fat Larry' Wants Looser Curfew, Less Mom and Dad

Anthony Durso, better known as "Baby Fat Larry," an associate of the Colombo crime family, is trying to shake his 7 p.m. curfew because it's cramping his social style. "He is a 27-year-old man and would like to have some leisure time away from his parents and his home," his lawyer wrote in a real letter to a real judge. Baby Fat currently works for the Sanitation Department but pleaded guilty to assault charges for beating up someone who was late on their loan payments; Larry faces up to 33 months in prison. Though his lawyer maintains that BFL is a "teddy bear," he assures that this isn't about women: "He has no girlfriend and there's no girl he wants to see," he told the Daily News. "Why should he have to stay home with his mom and dad?" Jail could be just the break he needs. [NYDN]