Some things you should never say on a first date – unless you don't want a second one!

First date conversation no-no's

First date conversation no-no's

"My mum has just got out of rehab."

You may have a turbulent personal life but a first date is not the time to air your family's dirty laundry. Yes, your mum is an alcoholic, your dad is depressed and your brother is under house-arrest – but does your date really need to know that?

"If you're going through a tough time, talk it over with your girlfriends or maybe even see a counsellor", says psychologist Corinne Sweet. "Of course, once you've developed a level of trust with your date over a number of weeks or months, it's only natural to start sharing more information about what's going on in your life.

"However, if your date discloses something very personal, even painful, you might talk about your issues as a way of sharing intimacies. Sometimes 'being real' can bring you closer - but beware baring all on the first date, nonetheless."

First date conversation no-no's

First date conversation no-no's

"Pudding? Do you know how many calories are in that!?"

A woman who is constantly counting calories – especially if she doesn't need to – makes for a pretty dull dinner date. Talk too much about fat units and he may start wondering if you'd rather go out for dinner with Rosemary Conley than him.

"Women who are completely focused on calories and carbs are a complete turnoff. In fact men say they really enjoy it when a woman has a good appetite - probably because at a subconscious level it suggests you have other good appetites including a sexual one," says sex and relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr.

"Plus men would rather feel relaxed on a date and it's nearly impossible to relax if you're stressing out about calories - so knock the diet on the head when you're with him."

First date conversation no-no's

"My mum has just got out of rehab."

You may have a turbulent personal life but a first date is not the time to air your family's dirty laundry. Yes, your mum is an alcoholic, your dad is depressed and your brother is under house-arrest – but does your date really need to know that?

"If you're going through a tough time, talk it over with your girlfriends or maybe even see a counsellor", says psychologist Corinne Sweet. "Of course, once you've developed a level of trust with your date over a number of weeks or months, it's only natural to start sharing more information about what's going on in your life.

"However, if your date discloses something very personal, even painful, you might talk about your issues as a way of sharing intimacies. Sometimes 'being real' can bring you closer - but beware baring all on the first date, nonetheless."

First date conversation no-no's

"Pudding? Do you know how many calories are in that!?"

A woman who is constantly counting calories – especially if she doesn't need to – makes for a pretty dull dinner date. Talk too much about fat units and he may start wondering if you'd rather go out for dinner with Rosemary Conley than him.

"Women who are completely focused on calories and carbs are a complete turnoff. In fact men say they really enjoy it when a woman has a good appetite - probably because at a subconscious level it suggests you have other good appetites including a sexual one," says sex and relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr.

"Plus men would rather feel relaxed on a date and it's nearly impossible to relax if you're stressing out about calories - so knock the diet on the head when you're with him."

First date conversation no-no's

"Have you thought about getting a hair cut?"

It should go without saying, but avoid mentioning your date's physical appearance – unless you're being complimentary of course. Picking up on his dress sense or dodgy haircut (no matter how well meaning) is likely to make him feel uneasy – or worse, send him running.

"Telling someone they ought to get a haircut is downright rude. He may have spent a good deal of time styling it for the date and you'll ruin his confidence in an instant," says The Dating Guru James Preece.

"All he will think about for the rest of the date is whether his hair looks bad, rather than getting to know you. Instead, focus on the positives and what you like about him - that way he'll leave happy."

First date conversation no-no's

It's best to avoid bad-mouthing anyone on a first date, whether your boss, friend or your ex – even if he was the world's biggest a-hole. In fact, don't mention past relationships at all.

If your date asks you a direct question, do relay the basics – for example, say "we were together for three years and split up last March". Just don't go into details about his violent tendencies, criminal past or cheating, selfish ways.

"Bad mouth your ex too much and he may start wondering how balanced you are. After all, surely a sane woman with good judgement wouldn't have dated such a man in the first place," says Corinne.

"Plus, your new date will wonder what you'll say about him behind his back if he doesn't come up to scratch."

First date conversation no-no's

Did you read point number four? Not talking about your ex means not sharing any information about him – and that includes things that happen to be positive or neutral as well as negative.

If a thought about your ex pops into your head, keep it there. It may seem like a completely innocent observation to you, but mentioning something, especially if it's any kind of comparative way, could make your date feel uneasy.

"If you are still obsessed with your ex, then talk to friends or a counsellor about him. However, you could be straight with your date and say 'it's early days' and apologise for any inappropriate blurting in advance – this can create more trust between you," says Corinne.

First date conversation no-no's

"How many women HAVE you slept with?"

You may be proud of your membership to the mile-high club but a wise woman keeps her sexploits to herself – at least for now. And while you might find his whole relationship history fascinating, Dr. Pam warns it's never a good idea to bring up the numbers game when it comes to ex-sexual partners.

"Not only is it rude to go straight into such intimate questions but fair's fair and if you ask about his 'numbers' he might just ask you back.

"Chatting about ex-partners on a first date means you don't focus on each other - and that's missing the point. If you two click there's plenty of time down the line to chat about these things if you're both comfortable with it."

First date conversation no-no's

First date conversations should be kept general and light-hearted – treat your first meeting as a chance to get to know each other better and discover common areas of interest.

Your tough childhood has no doubt played a huge part in making you who you are, but save the stories of growing up in a children's home, or your parents' divorce, for when you know and trust each other better.

"Dwell too much on issues of the past and your date might be worried you're carrying a little too much baggage around," says Corinne.

"Don't try and get sympathy from a date for the past, it can seem manipulative or overly-heavy. If they offer up similar experiences, it's possible to bond over bad stuff - but beware the pull of mutual relationship addiction based on pain."

First date conversation no-no's

The first date is not the time to talk about finances – whether you happen to be loaded or neck-deep in debt.

"Admitting you have huge debts on a first date is a bad idea," says James. "You're likely to send him running – and could risk sounding like a moneygrabber."

Expect and offer to pay for your share of the drinks and food. If he insists on picking up the bill, make sure you treat him next time - even if that means buying him a Big Mac or cooking him something special at home.

First date conversation no-no's

"I want to get married and have a baby in the next year."

Many men say there's nothing worse than thinking a woman just wants someone, anyone, to settle down with. Bring up the words 'marriage and children' on a first date and you risk giving the impression that time is running out.

"Never, ever bring up the 'M' and 'B' words on the first date (or first few) as it makes you look desperate," says Dr. Pam.

"Of course if you've already been married or have a child those things might come up but that's completely different than revealing your future dreams when you've just met.

"Only a few rare men won't be panic stricken by such topics. Most men - even the potentially good ones - will run a mile."

First date conversation no-no's

"I hate my job and my boss is a bitch."

Yes, it's natural to talk about your job – after all we spend most of our time at work – just be careful that work talk doesn't dominate the conversation. Office politics are dull at the best of times but when you don't know the people involved it's boring beyond belief.

"Drone on about your nightmare boss and petty rivalries and you could seem mean," says Corinne.

"Say things are tough, if they are, and then find out what your date does - and be more interested in him than in airing your grievances. Try and find wider interests you have in common, and talk about those instead. Moaning about work endlessly is never sexy."

Of course, if you love your job and what you do is genuinely fascinating (you're a film extra or a private investigator for instance), then by all means chat away!

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