I'm Trying (Completed)

I can't lie. I know he loves me. At least I think he does. I don't know what's real and what isn't, and I blame everyone. How do you fix a problem like this. You don't, you just don't. But what I did to him is horrible. He will never ever be able to fix it either. I know he wishes he could but he can't. If there was a solution to this goddammit someone tell me. I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of living in general. At this moment I knew exactly how to fix this, It's not the best way, but to me It's the only way. He's gonna hate me. But I won't be here for him to tell me that ...

Kay so this is my first story and I know I'm not very good but I really just have ideas and I'm trying to turn them into something good so here my best shot at it. Please be completely honest about it.

18. Surprises

Xena's P.O.V.

We joked around and shoved each other. As it took most of the day to drive here, night fell quickly, and we lit up the fire. It wasn't long before Louis begged me to take the extra large marshmallows I had brought out of my bag. We roasted them and burnt our lips and tongues, much to Amy's laughter as she said "Careful, it's hot!"

I sit next to Taylor and Liam, her head was in his lap and he played with her hair affectionately. Perrie was practically falling asleep on Zayn's shoulder, and it made me feel an emotion I couldn't put into words. Anger? Not really, it's not like I own Zayn. Sadness? Not really, they're a great couple and deserve to be happy. Jealousy? Probably, though I forced myself to push it away, knowing full well he shouldn't be with a fan-girl like me.

Niall was bumping shoulder with Kyra and they both smiled at each other, and it seemed in a matter of hours that they had bonded back together, almost closer than they had been before. Amy got up and said "I'm headin' off, which tent is the girl's one again?"

"The green one," Liam and I said at the same time, knowing since we were the one who put them up.

"Okay then." Liam followed after, along with Harry and Louis. Then Zayn and Perrie. Then Niall, Kyra and Taylor. I put out the fire well and joined them. When I got in, the girls were all awake, despite the tiredness of the day settling in. They began to chat about how Niall and Kyra were getting back together, how Amy and Harry were having things going well, how much Perrie loved Zayn, and how much fun Taylor was having with Liam. I didn't join the conversation. I simply put my sleeping bag in the corner, and tried to tune them out. For once in years I wished I had a boyfriend, and I couldn't believe the only one I was interested in, was taken.

Taylor's P.O.V.

I couldn't sleep. Literally EVERYONE was snoring. Some were quite quiet, others loud. I had a pillow smushed over my head, but it still didn't help. I debated chucking it at who was loudest, but I couldn't tell anymore. And worst of all, they seemed to be doing it in a type of symphony. A fucking symphony! That was when I heard it...the sound of a zipper coming open. I sat straight up, freaked, holding my pillow like a weapon as it opened and Liam poked his head in. I breathed and placed a hand over my heart. "Liam you scared me to death!"

"I didn't mean to," he said sweetly. "I was only wondering if you wanted to take a walk?"

"Anything to get out of this tent."

I began to get up, then realized I was near the back of the tent and would have to climb over at least two bodies in the process. Everyone's things were everywhere. I placed a finger to my lips to tell him to be quiet, because I was going to make too much noise already. I tried to make it past Amy, but she breathed and that scared me in the middle of my step. I ended up stepping on her wrist, and jumping off quickly, regaining balance. I watched to make sure she didn't get up. She only groaned and rolled over, smacking her arm right onto Perrie's face. That was going to hurt in the morning.

I got past Kyra easily. She was a light sleeper, which worried me, but she was tired and sleeping soundly. Once I was out, I zipped the tent back up and we both ran a bit from the tent and let out suppressed giggles. We took each others hand and began to walk.

The moon hit the trees and the water, making it shimmer and shine like diamonds. I smiled at the beauty of it all, and considered the fact I was wearing shorts. I went in to about knee hieght, and so did Liam. When we realized just how cold it truly was, we began to splash it onto one another, squealing and ducking and coming out splattered in water droplets. I placed one hand on his right hip, his on my left, and we walked, holding each other together, gliding upon the rocks. It was like a moonlit date, and I wished the sun would never come up. He pulled me into the more foresty part of the area, and he went in front of me, our hands intertwined in front of us.

He began to look worried and got down on both knees. He began staring blankly around him, and I muttered, "You know this is usually the part were a evil guy with a chainsaw comes out and murders us?"

Liam brought one knee up, and looked as though he was about to stand up. "Oh really," he said, giving me an eyebrow.

"Yah really."

"Because I thought that this was the part," he reached into his back pocket and brought out a small black box. "where I propose to the most talented, enchanting, and irresistibly beautiful girl I've ever known."

And he opened it to reveal a ring.

Liam's P.O.V.

Our tent was an absolute disaster, it's like World War 3 in here. Zayn has all of his stuff laying around, everywhere, Louis stuff is scattered as well, and don't even get me started on Harry. We had decided, for some strange reason in our minds that we are going talk about, the girls. I don't know why, but we did. And of course Harry started off with "Soooo Liaaaaaaam, hows Taylor ?" he is the only one besides Niall that know about the proposal, and he won't shut up.

"She's good," I trailed off "why didn't you ask her before ?" I knew, but the rest of the guys didn't. He only shrugged his shoulders, and smiled. Damn that child is weird. We had continued to talk, but it wasn't about the girls anymore, thank god, it was now football. The World Cup starts tomorrow, and we're ecstatic about it.

"Barcelona is going all the way his yea" Niall said really loudly. I whacked him one in the shoulder.

"Zayn is sleeping, or at least trying to," I said shaking my head "and just because Messi is playing for them does not mean that are gonna make it this year, cause let's be realistic here," I dramatically paused "France is gonna win," I threw my hands up in the air. This caused a whole new conversation and a argument.

Finally at around midnight we had all fallen asleep, except for me. This was it, this is the night that I've been waiting for, for what feels like forever. I'm finally proposing to the woman that I've loved for almost 4 years now. I sighed deeply with a huge grin on my face. After waiting a little while for the guys to be asleep for sure, I got up very carefully trying not to disturb anyone, and magically, succeeded. I zipped the zipper down, slowly, and zipped it back up then made my way to the girls tent.

When it opened I saw Taylor clutching the pillow as though it was a weapon of mass destruction. If wielded properly, maybe it could be. "Liam you scared me to death!"

"I didn't mean to,I was only wondering if you wanted to take a walk?"

"Anything to get out of this tent."

The next couple of minutes were as if she were stuck in a loud maze. Everyone was snoring and lying everywhere, but this was still and improvement over the male tent. Amy's hand was stepped on and thrown right onto Perrie's nose with blinding force. I had to stifle my laugh until she escaped and we ran a bit.

We walked hand in hand until we decided to go into the water. To say it was ice cold would have been an understatement. We splashed it onto one another, and I picked her up and swung her around at one point, contemplating if I should dunk her. But I didn't want her to be soaking when I delivered the news, so I settled on placing her back down and giving her a quick kiss before running back out. When I placed my hand on her other hip, she found her way onto mine, and we shared our body heat to keep warm under the moonlit sky.

I led her into a more tree covered area, far enough away from camp no one would hear her. I got down on both knees instead of one and pretended to tie my shoe.

"You know this is usually the part were a evil guy with a chainsaw comes out and murders us?" She said sarcastically, tapping her shoe and crossing her arms.

I brought one knee up and leaned on it. "Oh really?"

"Yah really,"

I reached into my back pocket, hoping I hadn't lost it in the water, knowing I hadn't. A lump rose in my throat but I was confident in my choice. This was meant to be.

"Because I thought that this was the part," I brought it out so she could see. "Where I propose to the most talented, enchaining, and irresistibly beautiful girl I've ever known."

And I opened it to a gasp as her hand flew to her mouth and she took a step back.

The ring was expensive, but that didn't matter because I was famous. I was lucky how being famous gave you so many opportunities, like being able to shock your girlfriend with amazing gifts. Or in this case, an engagement ring. It was simple, because I knew she wasn't much for intricate details. A beautiful diamond, and I couldn't wait for her to see the actual ring.

Her face was all I needed. A few happy tears split out, and she was breathing hard as she squeezed her eyes open and shut, trying to assure herself this was real and happening. A small sob of joy escaped as I said "I know its just a little thing..." smiling at the pun. She was still speechless. "You know I can give you a minute if you need to...change your mind." I smiled again, and she shook her head at me for my terrible puns. But then she nodded her answer.

And the nod was up and down. I got up and pulled her into a bear hug, so tight, but she hugged me back tighter. You'd think we would have broken each others backs or ribs but we just held on, like life was finally perfect. And you know what?

It was.

Hey, so I hope that you guys are liking this so far, and that you vote. I put a lot of time and thought into this soo it would be lovely if you could like and comment telling me what you like/hate or anything at all, ... please ... I won't be updating for a week or so cause of stupid finals so please read what is currently up and tell others about it ... thank you

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