Disclaimer:
Please read responsibly. If the idea of women loving women doesn't appeal
to you, just move on. This story has lesbians, bad language and I think
violence but nothing too icky.

Big thanks to my beta readers - I worship the ground you
walk on.

Thanks and enjoy.

Please send feedback to Zeeamy@Gmail.com

Comic Book Life

By Zee

"Remy. Baby. Have I found the
perfect woman for the show."

Sighing, I rolled over and picked
up my watch. I blinked a few times until the numbers slowly came into focus.

"Remy? You there? Hello? I can
hear you breathing."

"Alison, what are you talking about?"
My fingers automatically picked up the pencil on the nightstand and started
doodling on the marked-up paper I kept there.

"BloodRaven - The television show.
I found the perfect woman to play BloodRaven."

"I seriously doubt that." There
was only one woman who could be or play BloodRaven, and I somehow doubted
that Alison had just found her by chance. I had to laugh at Alison's tenacity,
though. My onetime girlfriend was now some Director of Programming for the
cable giant Showtime and would not give up on the idea of making my comic
book anti-hero into a real-life television show.

"Remy, I don't know why you're being
such a pain in the ass about this. Comic books are big right now. Look
at the movies! They're big business! Just look at all the ones out there:
X-Men, Spiderman, The Hulk
…"

The Hulk> sucked." Graphite created
the gray outline of a woman crouched on top of a building.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, it may have
sucked, but it still brought in the money."

"This is a piece of me, Alison.
I won't allow it to be butchered and thrown up on the screen to fit some
Hollywood formula." Changing tactics, I penciled in a gargoyle for the outlined
figure to hide behind.

"Hey, I know that. Why do you think
I've let you have so much input in the creation process?"

I had to snort at that. "Alison,
I have so much input because I own all the rights to BloodRaven - lock, stock,
and barrel. You couldn't change a light bulb on the set without asking me
first."

"And, Rem, that was brilliant of
you, 'cause we all know what would have happened if Disney had been allowed
to make their version of your little killing machine."

I gave a shudder she didn't have
to continue. The original comic book company I had created BloodRaven through
had sold Disney the rights without even asking me. What the idiot hadn't
done was check the contract I had originally signed with his father. The
only person who could authorize merchandise, film, and book rights was me.
After reading the script that some Disney hack writer had written, I had
quickly called my lawyer and sued.

BloodRaven was not for children.
She was a half-human, half-demon killing machine fighting the good fight
on the side of humanity. BloodRaven also had lots of sex, with men and women.
Oh yeah, it had Disney family flick written all over it. I'd left that
comic book company and re-signed with one that would respect my creative
vision while making them a profit at the same time.

"I'm glad you agree. So why should
I make it any easier for you?"

"Remy, baby. The fact you make
it so hard lets me know this thing will be a hit. But you should relax.
This is Showtime. They don't care about your chickie's sexual appetites
or the bloody way she wields a sword. As long as the story and production
values are good, they'll back us."

"I know, but I still have a hard
time believing that they want my vision. I keep expecting them to try and
warp it somehow." Moving to an unused piece of the paper, I drew the same
woman surrounded by little Mickeys and Minnies.

Alison laughed at me over the phone.
"Remy, you need to relax. You and your lawyer have made it impossible for
you to lose creative control." She paused. "You're not paying attention.
You're doodling in that stupid notebook."

"What? I'm paying attention."
With a sigh, I put the pencil down. "Well, for once I can thank Logan for
that. He sent me to his lawyer as soon as I started trying to sell my scribblings
to a company."

"How is the boy wonder?"

"Good, but his knees are bothering
him. He thinks this might be his last year playing basketball."

"Sometimes I can't believe you're
related to Logan St. James, the basketball star. I mean, come on, I've seen
you try to play sports and it's not pretty."

"Hey, I took first in fencing at
the University. Besides, he plays in the European league it's not like
it's a big deal."

"Remy, fencing isn't a real sport.
It's only a real sport if they show it on ESPN."

"Well, it's not like they show the
European league on ESPN." I was being petulant. "Alison, it's two in the
morning here. I'm hanging up on you."

"Fine, you have a flight out at
11 A.M. tomorrow on Delta. Oh, and they do show European basketball on ESPN."

"What?"

"Check your email the details are
all there. You're going to love this girl."

I just stared blankly at the phone
until the dial tone snapped me out of my daze. I guess I'm going to L.A.> God, had I known my doodles
would result in this kind of madness, I would have become an accountant.
Plus, who knew Logan actually got TV time?

Giving up on sleep, I threw back
the covers and got up. Padding silently through my one-bedroom apartment,
I grabbed a glass of water, then turned on my computer. A pleasant female
voice told me, "You have mail." That I did most of it crap. Let's see:
fans, my manager, one from my sister, and then Alison. Most of the fans
thanked me for my work and asked when they could expect the next graphic
novel. Sighing, I tapped my fingers on the desktop. I didn't know when
I would finish the next novel. I'd begun to seriously consider ending the
comic. BloodRaven was created when I was in junior high with braces and
a bad perm.

Junior high was the worst experience
in my life. I'd never felt so alone as I did during those three hellish
years. I was far from popular, I didn't play sports, and boys didn't find
me the least bit attractive - which was fine, since I didn't find them attractive
either. The one saving grace of those years was my art teacher, Ms. Winstrom.
I think she saw my uncertainty and my lost soul I think she also saw my
talent. She encouraged me to draw no matter what I was feeling, she pushed
me to express it on paper. I went into her classroom during my lunch breaks
to just sit and draw. The first crude sketches of BloodRaven and a host
of friends and villains appeared in that room.

Now… now I was a long way from junior
high and Ms. Winstrom's kind presence leaning over my shoulder. I was beginning
to wonder if BloodRaven had reached her end or if I could, as my manager
urged, sell my child and let some team of creative geniuses take her over.
I couldn't stomach that thought either.

Airplanes make me cranky. They're
cramped, they smell bad, and the stench of the vile concoction they try to
pass off as coffee makes me want to hurl. Thankfully nobody recognized me,
although being a comic book creator hardly made one famous on a large scale.
Comic book fame was little cluster groups that came up to you at the mall
and remembered you from some comic con you did two years ago.

The repeated bludgeoning of my back
forced me into wakefulness. Thump, thump, thump - right into the small of
my back. Turning, I peered through the crack between the seats into the
childish face of the anti-Christ. He giggled and swung his legs some more
into the back of my seat while his mother just patted his leg and thanked
him for being so well behaved. If I were BloodRaven I would sneer and scowl
at the boy until he pissed himself. As it was, I'm small and blonde with
the face of a cherub I'm far from scary.

"Um, excuse me, young man."

He ignored me, slamming his feet
harder into my seat.

"Uh, young man."

"I've taught him not to talk to
strangers," the mother replied, not looking up from her magazine.

She looked up from her magazine
at her son who had stopped his kicking and smiled innocently up at her.

"Were you kicking the lady's seat?"

"No, Mommy."

Oh god, he had little lost orphan
eyes. Kill me now.

"Obviously you were mistaken. I'm
sure it's just turbulence." The Anti-Christ's Mother said. She also gave
me a once over and with a roll of her eyes dismissed my importance in the
circle of life.

"Right." The boy shot me an evil
grin and I stuck my tongue out in response. His mother just cleared her
throat embarrassed, I sat back. Thump, thump, thump. I stewed as the boy
kicked my seat. Thump, thump, thump. There's so going to be a devil anti-Christ
child in my next comic. Thump, thump, thump. I reached up and hit the attendant
call button. The over-caffeinated perkiness in the form of a flight attendant
appeared in her navy blue-skirted glory.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Could you ask the Captain to do
something about this turbulence? It's bruising my insides."

"Turbulence?"

"Yes. Originally I thought it was
the little beast behind me his mother assured me that he's an angel and
it must be turbulence. Silly me." I said, using my most deadpan look.

"Excuse me, young man, could you
please stop kicking the seat in front of you.?"

In a sickeningly sweet voice, he
said, "Okay."

I had just about drifted back to
sleep: thump, thump, thump.

Grabbing an armrest in both hands,
I began to shake my body and my seat.

"What are you doing?" the mother
asked me, clearly horrified.

"Nothing. It's just a little turbulence.
I'm sure we'll pass through it in a moment."

The man next to me snickered but
continued to pretend he was asleep.

Getting off the flight in L.A.,
the mother and child sprinted ahead to avoid me. I grinned evilly and slowly
made my way to the baggage claim.

--- --- ---

I saw a tan and blonde Alison leaning
against a pillar waiting for me. For a moment I wondered what the hell was
wrong with me to have broken up with a woman that gorgeous. Then I remembered
Alison's allergic reaction to monogamy and commitment.

"Remy, darling, welcome to the land
of the insane." She swept me up into a bone-crunching hug. Sometimes I
hate being short.

"How are you, Ali?"

"Good. I'll be better once you
get off your high horse and let this thing get off the ground."

"Bite me, Ali."

"Okay, but do you really want me
to do that here in public?"

I swatted her playfully on the arm.
"Always the flirt."

"I'm charming. That's totally different."

I laughed and gave her a hug. "My
mistake. Charming it is."

The wind blew through my short hair,
making it stand to attention as we drove down the freeway.

"So how's Ohio?"

"Fine. You know, it's Ohio. It's
a little odd being so close to my folks, but they don't come over much."

"I can't believe you left New York
to move home."

I sighed. "You weren't there, so
don't question me." She patted my leg, letting me know she was sorry. New
York was great, but something changed inside me after 9/11. I wasn't even
directly affected - I was nowhere near the towers, didn't know anybody who
worked near the area - but still it changed me. I think humans don't like
change as a whole, and catastrophic change like that… well, the damage to
our souls and psyches is never pretty.

After that day I tried to go on about
my life, but thoughts of my family kept bubbling up in my head. Before too
long, I found myself packing up and moving back to my hometown. With modern
technology it wasn't such a big deal to my publisher and my work.

"You're so going to love this girl…"

"You're not sleeping with her, are
you?" I gave her my narrow squinty-eyed look.

"No. God, I wish, but no."

I raised my eyebrows at this.

"This woman is BloodRaven. It's
almost if she were your model. It's freaky, and sex appeal just oozes from
her. And best of all, she doesn't mind sex scenes with men or women. That
was another hard sell. Not many were willing to do the nasty with another
woman onscreen."

I giggled. "She's a unknown talent,
isn't she?"

"Um, maybe."

I gave her the look again.

"Stop it with the look already.
Yes. Are you happy? She's an unknown talent. I caught her in a performance
of Taming of the Shrew
in the park."

She gave a nod. Somehow that nod
conveyed exactly what she thought of my art and creative vision.

I gave her one of my charming lopsided
smiles. "Everyone's a critic."

"Are you ready?" Alison was milking the dramatic
moment for all she could.

"Just open the door. I can poo
poo your 'BloodRaven' and then I can take a 'red eye' flight back home."

"I beg to differ, my friend." She
opened the door and we entered her office. Her office is nice she even
has her own bathroom.

"James." I frown I hate it when
she calls me James. "I'd like for you to meet Megan Sinclair. Megan, this
is R.S. James, the creative genius behind the graphic novel BloodRaven."

I stood like an idiot I knew I
was and I couldn't seem to correct my behavior. My mouth hung open and I
couldn't seem to move.

Alison came to my rescue. "I knew
you'd be stunned. A few red streaks in her hair and she'll be the perfect
BloodRaven."

My jaw snapped shut and I barely
avoided biting my tongue. I'm not sure how Alison managed it, but she'd
found my muse, the inspiration behind BloodRaven - Megan Sinclair. The secret
love of my life. For as long as I could remember I'd been in love with her.

I was seven when I fell in love.
However, she didn't love me, and for the longest time she didn't even know
I existed, but on a bright October day she rocked my world. It was recess
and we were playing.

"Red Rover, Red Rover, send… Megan
right over," the girls chanted in singsong voices. Even at seven she was
slightly taller than anybody else, and had short curly dark hair. She looked
at the line that I was standing in, my arms linked with the girls on either
side of me. Her eyes landed on mine and my heart started to beat in a funny
rhythm and my stomach got queasy. I honestly thought I was going to be sick.
Then she tore out of her line, straight at me. I never had a chance. She
sent me flying and broke through the line. Giggling, she looked down at
me her eyes blue like a winter's morning. Deciding I was okay, she picked
her best friend Lindsey and took off back to her line. I lay dazed on the
cool ground and decided right then and there that I was going to marry Megan
when I grew up.

I remembered racing home after school.
Slamming the door shut, I hung up my coat and went into the kitchen. I
pulled a chair over so I could climb up and reach the container that held
the Oreos.

"Hey, Remy, how was school?"

I looked at my dad as he came into
the kitchen. He smiled, his brown eyes twinkling with good humor. "It was
good." I wiggled hyperly around on the counter.

"Ah, ah, ah. What have I told you
about the Oreos?"

"Um… no Oreos without milk, 'cause
it goes against nature." I copied his phrase perfectly.

"That's my girl." He ruffled my
hair and went to the fridge to pour two glasses of milk. He placed them
on the table and motioned for me to come over. "Ah, ah, ah. You pulled
the chair over there you can pull it back."

I sighed but did as he told me. We sat at the table and
dipped Oreos.

"So anything happen at school today?"

"Yep. I met the girl I'm going
to marry. Her name is Megan."

Dad paused in his dipping. "Megan,
huh?"

"Yep, she's tall and strong, with
blue eyes… and… and she knocked me down today when we played Red Rover at
recess."

"Remy, um, honey…"

I just stared at him.

"Remy, women don't normally marry
other women."

"Why not?"

"Well, most people think it's wrong."

"So what I did was bad?" I felt
tears come into my eyes but I didn't really understand why.

"No, honey, but you probably don't
want to blurt it out to people. I think we should just keep it between you
and me… well, maybe your mom until you're at least in high school and, well,
there's plenty of time. You can always change your mind about marrying a
girl."

I scrunched up my forehead in puzzlement
as I sorted through what Dad had told me. "Nope. No changing my mind.
I'm going to marry Megan Sinclair when I grow up."

"Well, if you want to marry a girl
I'm okay with it, but I'm not so sure I want you marrying a girl who knocks
you down."

"Okay," was all I said.

My dad showed me a new magic trick
he made an Oreo come out of my ear. I giggled and laughed, then took my schoolwork
into his office and read while he went to his drafting table to work on a
project.

My home life hardly mirrored what
you would see on Leave it to Beaver
. My mom worked odd hours
at the university as a professor of chemistry. My dad stayed at home, took
care of the kids, did housework, and worked part-time from home as a graphic
designer for an ad agency.

I think Dad told Mom about my crush.
I found her in my room once just looking around at my posters - Wolverine
facing off with Sabertooth Cat Woman in the full moon with her whip and
all my little doodles that would someday evolve into my own comic.

"Honey, don't you want some dolls?"

I stood quietly, digesting her words.
"Like more army guys?" My sandbox was a battle zone of carefully built
castles and trenches. Little green and gray army men were poised and read
for battle.

She sighed. "Um, no, honey. Like
Barbie."

"Icky, no." I didn't even have
to think about it. Barbie was lame none of the boys in the neighborhood
played with Barbie.

"You sure?"

"Yep."

"Okay, come here and give me a hug."

I ran over and squeezed her leg
tight, giggling. Mom was really tall and I was rather short for my age.

Nothing ever happened in elementary
school. My crush continued, although I didn't know it was a crush. Although
we were in the same grade, we had different teachers. I would see her at
recess playing with her friends and I wished I had the nerve to go talk
to her, but anytime I would try, my stomach would get queasy and I thought
I would get sick. In the fifth grade I found out she would be trying out
for the school basketball team, so I tried out as well. It was a disaster.
She made the A team while I made the D team, and even then I sat on the
bench a lot of the time. I went home and begged my brother to make me a
better player. He made me pay him a dollar and then I spent the rest of
the week retrieving balls as he shot them at the hoop. It wasn't the first
or last time Logan would be a jerk.

I never became a basketball star
and Megan Sinclair remained outside my sphere of influence.

A smooth warm voice broke me out
of my memories. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. James." I smiled wanly
and shook Megan's hand. God, she was still tall with piercing eyes they
had a worried look in them. Probably because I wasn't having the reaction
she expected. I also hadn't failed to notice that she didn't recognize me
at all. If I had an ego at all it would be dead right now.

"I, uh, need a drink of water… I'll
be right back." I fled, trying to look like I wasn't fleeing but I was fleeing
alright.

Standing in the hallway, I leaned
my head against the wall and practiced my breathing. An old girlfriend who
had panic attacks once showed me how to breathe. I used to joke and tell
her that breathing came naturally for me we didn't last long. Now I found
that lesson in breathing to be quite helpful.

"What in the world is wrong with
you?" Alison growled at me, as she gently closed the door behind her.

"She's BloodRaven."

Alison blinked at me in confusion.
"Really? You'll let me cast her?"

Well, she hadn't really understood
the true meaning of my sentence but I let her run with the context that she
got.

"Yeah, on one condition."

Alison gave me a sigh. "There's
always a condition. Nothing can ever be simple with you."

"You can't fuck her, Ali."

"What? Come on. We're grown women…"

"I mean it. I catch wind of you
two going at it like sexually frustrated wombats, and you'll be doing a season
finale halfway through the first season." I couldn't stand the thought of
my best friend and the woman whom I had been irrationally in love with since
the first grade doing the nasty on Alison's casting couch. It wasn't fair,
but there's no such thing as 'fair' in love and war, or in this case television
production.

"Fine, but only because I want this
to go." She shrugged. "Plus I think she has a girlfriend or boyfriend already."

That pain in my chest was from the
lunch they tried to serve me on the plane, not because of what Alison had
just said.

"Oh." I gave a little frown then
tried to make it disappear before she could notice. "Well, good."

"Shall we go back in and give Ms.
Sinclair the good news?"

"Yeah, sure."

Alison paused at the door. "How
long can you stay?"

"I don't know… probably a while.
I don't have anything pressing at the moment."

"Good. I'd like to bring in some
others to do film tests with Megan, and try to cast the other roles."

"Okay, any chance…"

She cut me off before I could even
start, but she knew what I was going to say. "Remy, there is no way we can
get your evil vampire slayer girl to come work for us she's doing a show
with Fox. Trust me, I tried. I figured if I could get her on board there
would be no way you could say 'no' to me."

I pouted. Damn, she knows me too
well.

Alison opened the door and burst
through. "Great news, Ms. Sinclair. James here agrees with me you have
the job. I'll have my secretary draw up all the necessary paperwork, and
if you're not busy later James and I would love to take you out to celebrate
at this great sushi place I know."

"Really? Oh, my God. I didn't
want to get my hopes up but thank you. Thank you both so much."

In all the years I'd spent growing
up and watching Megan, that I'd never seen her cry or be close to tears.
I felt like I had just saved some lady from a burning building and all I
had done was give her a job.

"Don't sweat it, kid. You were
made for this part. If you'll excuse me, I'll go talk to my secretary."

Oh, if Alison only knew how close
she was to the truth.

Sitting alone in the room with Megan
was setting all my senses on high alert and I started to fidget. Searching
for anything to say, I grasped the first thing that came to mind. "Um, Megan,
you're not just going to sign what Ali gives you, are you?"

She cleared her throat. "What?
No, I mean I'm not that na&iumlve I'll find a lawyer."

"Oh, okay. Good. Um, here." I
fumbled with my wallet and pulled out my lawyer's business card. "This is
my lawyer's card. If you want, give him a call."

I could see the slight crinkle to
Alison's lips. I knew she'd been hoping to pull a fast one with Megan.
Alison wasn't a bad person, but business was one thing and friendship was
another. And Megan was business.

---- ---- ----

Megan didn't join us for sushi
she said she needed to get home. Probably to her boyfriend or girlfriend
- probably a boyfriend. As far as I knew, Megan was straight. Ever since
she'd experienced that sexual awakening in junior high, she'd had a boy draped
on her arm. Some may argue that the girl is supposed to do the draping,
but not in Megan's case. Everybody was her puppy dog, and they all wanted
to belong to her and make her happy. Then the sexual revolution had come
and exploded in her body. This probably had a lot to do with her parents.
Her parents were the constant source of gossip in our little area of the
liberally hip East End. Sure, people on the surface acted all open-arms
and spouted on about the equality of the human race, but underneath the young
progressive cover, they gossiped and had a cookie cutter standard of who
should and who shouldn't be living with them.

I think my father had liked it when
the Sinclairs pushed the envelope of the middle class, since I think up to
that point our family's goings-on had fueled the gossip track. All my family
had done was reverse the stereotype of the nuclear household the Sinclair
family outdid my Dad's stay-at-home-father routine by a long shot. Megan's
father was a Harley mechanic and her mother owned an exotic dancing club
called the Kitty Club. I get the joke now, but for the longest time I thought
it was a place where cat lovers got together. I don't think I became an
awakened sexual being until I was 22, so I was a little slow.

Since the moment she was legally
able to serve alcohol, Megan worked at her mother's place. Being around
such blatant displays of human sexuality helped Megan work sex appeal until
she gave it a whole new meaning. I would have been her humble follower but,
as I said, she never noticed me. Well, I take that back. She did notice
me once. In high school I was totally focused on art I slept, ate, and
breathed art. It got me noticed people heaped praise on me, and no longer
was I known as 'Oh that's Logan's sister, the one that can't play sports'
or 'Oh that's Gray's sister, no, no she failed chemistry twice'. I was Remy,
the artist.

Megan was heavily into drama. Yes,
I went to all the plays she was in. Pathetic, I know. So anyway, I was
hanging out at lunch sketching a figure who would later become Captain Craighorn,
BloodRaven's somewhat sidekick and inside source within the Witch Haven police,
when this shadow blocked out all the good light. Not looking up, I grunted,
"Move to the left or I'll flick a booger on you."

A soft laugh behind me freaked me
out. I knew that laugh. I'd never had it directed at me, but oh how I'd
wished. It was the woman I would some day marry - Megan Sinclair.

"We're doing Romeo and Juliet as
the drama season finale, and we in the Drama Department were wondering if
you would design a poster for us."

I wanted to say no, but what came
out was, "No problem."

"There's a rehearsal tonight. Why
don't you come and check us out?"

"I'd love to."

So I went and checked it out. Somehow
I'd assumed that she would be playing Juliet, but instead I found her playing
Juliet's nurse. Juliet was some waif-thin blonde thing with huge tits, especially
large for a senior in high school. I watched them rehearse then, and watched
them bring out the sets one horror after another. I wanted to cringe. When
they got to the balcony scene I couldn't take it anymore. The flat painted
canvas was made up to look more like an evil dungeon of torture than the
soft noble castle wall of a minor Italian lord.

"Jesus Christ!" I blurted out before
I could stop myself.

The student director, Christa Chambers,
glared at me. "Is there a problem?"

"Hell yes! Whoever designed and
painted your sets should be shot."

"I suppose you could do better."
The way she said it, it came out with the implied an unsaid 'you nobody,
unpopular, loser, geek' at the end. Christa was popular and a cheerleader
I don't think I need to go any further.

"Yes, I could do a lot better."

By this point the action had stopped
on the stage and the actors were staring out into the house.

"Fine. You have until Monday to
redo my sets."

Oops! I'd insulted Christa. "Monday…
that's… today's Friday."

"Think you're better than me, you
little nobody? Why don't you just back down, Remy?"

"Fine. You'll have your sets on
Monday, and I bet that's the only positive thing that shows up in your review."
I left 'bitch' unsaid.

I showed up Saturday and Mr. Hensley,
the drama teacher, was there to let me in, which was nice. He gave me a
spare key and a note so the janitors wouldn't kick me out. I stared at everything
in horror. What had I gotten myself into? Around 1:00 somebody scared the
holy living heck out of me by clearing their throat behind me. Screaming,
I launched my brush across the backstage area. I turned around to find myself
face to sternum with Megan.

"Hi. I brought you some lunch."

"Um, thanks." Not that I minded,
but why was she here? "Not to be rude, but, why are you here?"

"Well, it was really cool the way
you stood up to Christa and these sets are hideous. And in all honesty,
I wasn't going to come here today but then I felt bad. I've seen your art
and you're doing us a huge favor, but there's no way you could get it all
done by yourself by Monday, and I'd like Christa to eat her words."

"Really? Wow, thanks." Megan was
so cute when she babbled.

"So point me in a direction and
tell me what to do."

Sunday evening, splattered with
paint and slightly high from the fumes, we looked over our handiwork. It
was much better. Megan looked from me to the flats and then back to me.

"What?"

"It's… oh my God. They're perfect.
Remy, you're going to go far." And with that she swept me up into a fierce
hug. Sensation overload caused my good sense to explode. After she set
me down, we stared at each other and I thought… I stupidly thought that I
should kiss her for some reason. As first kisses went, it wasn't bad. I
managed to hit her lips and no blood was drawn. For a moment I thought she
responded back but then she pushed me away.

"Remy…"

That's the first time my heart broke.
I heard it quite clearly. It made a soft sound, like the dropping of a
glass.

"Please, don't…" Say, do, tell
- there were a lot of things I didn't want to happen at that moment.

"Remy. I'm sorry but I don't… you're
sweet, not my type."

"Megan, I…" I did the only thing
that made sense I gave in to my instinct to run.

I did the poster, handing it over
to Christa, but I never stepped foot into the theater again. Christa sneered
at me but in the end I was right, one of the only positive things about the
play were my set designs. Well … and Megan's portrayal as the nurse. I
never really interacted with Megan again. Sure, I saw her across the hall
or cafeteria, but I made sure to stay away. I did wonder why she didn't
out me for what I had done for a week afterwards I expected to arrive at
school and have people stare at me and point. 'There's the dyke.' It never
happened, and three months later, graduation swept me away to a whole new
world of college women.

---- ---- ----

Alison was staring at me. "What?"
She didn't say anything, just kept staring. Crossing my arms over my chest,
I gave her a petulant look. For days we'd been casting the other characters:
Captain Craighorn, Mayor Feldman, Josh Stevens, Ripper, etc. The last one
was proving to be the most difficult it was a minor villain called the Jester.
The Jester wasn't a homicidal maniac like Ripper she was a thief, a practical
joker, and a constant pain in BloodRaven's ass. She was cultured, educated
and, when not wearing a mask, the bored socialite daughter of Captain Craighorn
- Charlotte Craighorn. The problem was that the Jester's true identity was
a big secret of the comic. It was one of the things I had never revealed.
So whoever played the Jester had to play Charlotte, and it had to be kept
a secret. Just because I was doing a TV show didn't mean I was going to
reveal the big secret that had been driving my readers nuts for years. It
wasn't like I was deliberately misleading people. The two looked alike
when I drew the Jester, I drew Charlotte wearing a mask. We needed somebody
who could be that good of an actress, to pull off playing what was essentially
two different characters. Alison wanted me to just pick somebody. I was
positive that the woman she wanted me to pick was a barely functioning alcoholic
however, she and Megan had tested well together.

Grabbing Alison's hand, I dragged
her out of the room. "Alison, there has to be somebody else."

"What's wrong with Liz?"

I eyed Alison. "You're sleeping
with her, aren't you?"

"So what if I am? You told me Megan
was off limits. A girl needs some fun."

Alison sighed and looked at me,
then I sighed and looked at her. Finally Alison broke the silence. "She
really is the best. She took some fencing in college not like you, but
we should be able to get some close-up shots before switching to a stunt
double."

"She's drunk," I reminded her.

"Fine, I'll add a clause. If she's
ever unable to fulfill her duties to the studio, she's fired."

I bit my lip in thought.

"You know, Remy, if you wanted to
play Charlotte and the Jester that would solve a lot of problems."

"What?"

"Come on. I figured out that you
based the Jester on yourself a long time ago. Now all I need to figure out
is who your BloodRaven is you know, that girl who never noticed you but
you tried so hard to get anyway."

"Come on. Charlotte is so in love
with BloodRaven, but the big dumb anti-hero doesn't have a clue. In order
to get noticed, Charlotte becomes the Jester. Now for the last couple of
years those two had some serious tension going on, but it never breaks.
I'm guessing whoever this girl is that has you wound so tight still hasn't
noticed you. Please give me a hint."

"Ali, sometimes I swear you're on
crack."

"So we're agreed. Liz is Charlotte/the
Jester."

"Yeah, okay, but make sure everybody
understands the silence clause. They speak a word to anybody about who the
Jester is and… well, bad things will happen"

"You're the best. Don't worry.
I'll make sure the cast and crew have a good idea."

She gave me another one of those
crushing hugs that I hate.

"Ali, oxygen depletion here."

"Sorry. So, dinner, then the airport?"

"Yep."

"Sure you don't want to stay?"

"Yeah, I'll leave you TV types here
to make TV and I'll go home and make comics. Just send me photos and stuff
for me to approve over the net."

"'Kay, but I would like it better
if you were here. Who else can I take clubbing?"

"I'm not your personal DD."

"Aww, be nice. You know I love
you."

I reached up and pinched her pouting
lip. "It's not going to work. I have a life in Ohio that I need to get
back to."

"Who has a life in Ohio?"

---- --- ----

I stared at the computer screen.
My father, in his indeterminate humor, sent me a game called 'Whack an Elf.'
It's funny, but in a sick and very wrong way. I've avoided Alison's email.
The last one she'd sent me was to tell me she'd met Megan's girlfriend.
Girlfriend! Oh, the world was a cold and cruel place. I'm not sure I want
to see what her email today says. Finally giving up, I opened Alison's email.
Okay, this I can handle. She'd sent photo attachments for the first couple
of shoots. I could feel the little vein of anger that pulses in my temple
whenever I get upset start to go off. Didn't the fucking set designer read
any of my notes? I knew it was going to be slightly different than the comic,
but some things just have to be in there. In the midst of getting ready
for a full-blown temper tantrum, I fumbled for the phone. Picking it up,
I paused when I didn't hear a dial tone.

"Hello?"

Confused, I mimicked, "Hello?"

"Remy?"

"Dad?"

"It's the darnedest thing. I swear
the phone didn't even get a chance to ring."

"I just picked it up to give Ali
a call."

"Ah. How is the one-night-stand
wonder?"

"Dad. She hates it when you call
her that."

"Then don't tell 'er I said it…
again."

"Fine. And she's fine."

"Good. Oh, I ran into Hank, the
other day - you know, Megan's dad. He wanted me to tell you thanks for giving
his little girl a chance. He was so proud I thought he was going to pop."
My dad and Megan's dad had become close over the last few years.

"Well, I didn't do anything. She
really was made for the part. Plus…" I trailed off, not really wanting
to spill my guts to my father.

"Honey, stop pouting. Why don't
you just concentrate on the fact that you have a chance to get to know each
other again? If I remember correctly this is the woman who's going to give
me grandbabies."

"Dad!" I couldn't believe he was
giving me such a hard time. "Haven't Logan and Gray given you enough small
snot factories?"

"Nope. Your mother and I need little
Remys running around."

I groaned. I almost told him that I'd been trying
since I was 22 but I just couldn't. That's too much information to share
with my father. "Nobody needs little Remys running around."

"Well, if you're here and Megan's
in LA it's sure not going to be happening."

"Dad, it doesn't matter. She has
a girlfriend already."

"So?"

"So? So? So I'm not the kind of
person who chases after someone who is taken."

"How do you know she's taken? If
you're not there, then Megan doesn't know what she could be having in you."

"Dad, I am not having this conversation
with you."

"Fine. So the reason I called -
X-Men 2 is playing at the dollar theater. Want to take your old man?"

My dad was obsessed with comics,
the Uncanny X-men in particular. It explained how us children got our names.
We're not sure how he got Mom to agree but Dad got to name us: Logan for
Wolverine, Gray for Jean Gray, and little old me for Gambit. Our pets all
got normal names like Alice, Timmy, and Andy. "I would love to but I have
to fly out to LA."

"Good for you."

"Not for the reasons you're assuming.
I've got to kick the set designer's ass."

"Whatever you say. Call me when
you get back into town and we'll have dinner."

"Dad, it's…" He hung up on me.

Looking at my computer screen, I
gave a scream of frustration and then started dialing Alison's phone number.

---- ---- ----

"Okay, I know you have this artist
vision and angels talk to you and all that but…" I said, looking at this
Michelangelo wannabe. I could tell he'd already written me off. "…certain
things cannot just be dropped because they ruin the feng shui of the set.
They are important to the comic and they are going to be important to the
show." He tried to hide it but I clearly saw the flickering downturn of
his mouth at the mention of 'comic'. I was so going to kick his ass… oh,
and now he's not even paying attention to me. I looked at Alison and she
tried not to laugh. She gave me a shrug, telling me in that simple gesture
that I'd wanted dictatorial control of this so now I could deal with it.
The other people in the room were clearly trying not to laugh at the situation
either. I drummed my fingers on the table.

"You're not listening to me, are
you?"

"No, I'm listening. But you are
a doodler of comics." He clearly sneered 'comic'. "You are not an artist.
I am an artist. This production is lucky to have my shop working for it."

Goddamn egotistical bastard. You
would have thought I would have ditched them all when I left college. 'You're
going into what?' They thought it abhorrent that my talent was going to
be wasted drawing comic book art.

"Bob…"

"Roberto, my name is Roberto."

I growled and stomped off toward
Alison. She grinned. "Isn't he a peach?"

"Yes, very. Could you have someone
bring me Bob's contract?"

"Sure."

I stomped back.

"So if we are finished, Ms. Comic
Book Doodler, some of us have real work to do."

That's it. I swear I'm a very nice
person, but this guy hit all of my buttons. "Sit!"

He sniffed at my order and started
to get up anyway. As I passed by a props table on my way back, I spied an
old friend. With a quick kick I brought my foot up and then down on the
pommel. The sword flipped up and arched into the air. I guess it would
have been very pretty if I hadn't been so pissed off, wanting to carve my
initials in Bob's back. I caught the sword easily and in three quick strides
I slid into a classic fencing lunge, the tip resting against his breastbone.

"I'd sit down if I were you, Roberto.
She was picked for the Olympic fencing team." Alison called out helpfully.

Okay, that's not true. It's more
like I tried out and they said "thank you for your time," but Bob didn't
need to know that. "Bob, here's the deal. I'm not just some simple 'doodler'
as you like to throw out. How should I put this? I'm fucking Stalin. What
you and the voices in your head want don't matter."

"Ooooo, Roberto, she used the f-word.
She's really pissed," Alison's said cheerfully. She was really enjoying
this.

"I have the final say on everything,
and I'm saying your sets aren't cutting it. Do you understand me?"

"If you get rid of me I'll blacklist
you. Nobody will work for this farce."

"Oh, I'm not getting rid of you."
Alison's gopher chose that moment to run up with Bob's contract. I backed
off and relaxed the foil in my hand while I looked over the contract. "Okay,
Bob…"

"Roberto."

"Whatever. I'm giving you the day
off. Be back here tomorrow morning. If you fail to appear, you'll be in
breach of contract I'll sue you, then Showtime will sue you. Do you understand?"

He nodded silently.

Thank God. I think I may have broken
through to him. "Bye now."

As I looked over the contract, I
failed to notice Alison approaching.

"That was a bit heavy on the overlord
despot role, don't you think?"

I looked up, puzzled. "But he called
me a doodler. I'm an artist too, damn it." I was pouting again.

"Oops. My bad. I forgot how sensitive
you artistic types are."

"Well, I for one am happy she laid
down the law."

I turned to gape at Megan. She
saw me… with the… and the… oh my God.

"He failed to put BloodRaven's family
crest in the den of her mansion."

"You… the crest… you noticed."
Oh my God! She's a fan of the comic.

"Of course I did. My dad's a huge
fan of the comic. We used to collect them together."

I could feel myself blushing.

"And what's even better is I can
say I grew up down the street from the creator."

"But… but..." I thought she didn't
remember me.

"Are you two having a moment? I
can clear the room," Alison blurted out.

"No, Ali, it's fine." I turned
to Megan. She looked great. Her hair was streaked with blood red and tiny
fangs indented her bottom lip when she spoke. They weren't big so they got
in the way of her speaking they just added another dimension of otherworldliness.
"I thought you didn't remember me."

She laughed that beautiful laugh.
"How could I forget the girl who saved Romeo and Juliet? I was… well, I
didn't want any favors getting this job. I wanted it because I was the best,
not because we went to school together."

"Wait! You two know each other?
Remy, why didn't you say anything?"

I glared at Alison, trying to convey
the sense that she should back off.

Megan smiled sheepishly at us.
"Pretty silly, huh?"

I smiled back. Nope, nothing you could do would
be silly.
"Nah. You
were the best person for the role."

"Oh yeah. The role was made for
you." Alison snickered.

I glared again. She ignored me,
of course.

"If you'll excuse us, Megan, we
have a set designer to mold into our bitch."

I'll give Alison credit she waited
until we were in her office to start her interrogation.

"You two went to high school together,
huh?"

"Yeah, I was some art geek and she
was queen of everything she touched."

"Right. I'll let it go for now.
But when you least expect it I'll get you drunk and take advantage of you."

"Ali, I haven't let you do that
to me since the day we graduated from college."

"Oh, right. Mmmmm, that was hot.
Why did we break up again?"

"Your fatal reaction to commitment
- and the fact that I caught you with that track star, and then with the
girl from across the hall, and…."

She winced. "Right, enough, please
stop. Anyways, Roberto…"

---- --- ----

It was around five in the morning
and I was hanging the Raven family crest in the mansion set. It took me
most of the night but I finally got it right.

"W-w-what are you doing to my set?"

Ah, the mighty Bob had returned.

"Roberto, I think we established
yesterday that this is my set." Wiping my hands, I turned to face the artistic
genius.

His face was turning purple and
his mouth kept opening and closing. He finally managed to get something
out. "I-I-I-I can't work like this. I quit."

"You might want to rethink that,
Roberto. If you quit, I'll sue you." Walking over to a bench, I picked
up his contract and threw it at him. "You might want to check your contract."
I took a breath because of my stunt yesterday I had damage control to do.
"Roberto, your sets are fantastic. Don't ever think that I was unhappy
with them. They're some of the best work I've seen." I saw the little man's
chest puff up. "But you failed to read my notes, or if you did, you totally
discounted them. Your sets are fine for people who have no idea about the
comic book world I created. However, people who are die-hard fans are expecting
certain things: BloodRaven's hair streaks, the Jester's bag-o-tricks, and
this crest. If we can't give those fans certain things, they will sink this
show."

"What do I care about a few freaks?"

I sighed. "Roberto, BloodRaven
is one of the top 20 comic books collected in the world. I put out maybe
six books this last year. Most comics are monthly. And other than a few
shirts, I don't allow any image reproduction or merchandise.

Roberto's eyes had glazed over at
the math.

"So, you see, it's more than a few
freaks." He nodded. People were quick to put down what they didn't see
intrinsic value in. "For the first time ever I'm allowing my baby, my creation,
outside of my control and, Roberto, I want it done right. Are you going
to help me do it right? Because if any man can, it's you."

"Yes, I see now. I'm sorry. I
can understand artistic control and wanting your creative vision protected."

God, I'm slicker than snot on a
January sidewalk. "Thank you."

He smiled. "Okay, tell me about
this crest."

I smiled back. One crisis avoided.

---- ---- -----

Spearing my salad violently, I pretended
to pay attention to the conversation going on at the table. Over the past
couple of months, Megan, Alison, and I had become close we normally had
lunch together. Megan had added an unhappy element to the lunch routine
today. We finally got to meet Megan's girlfriend. Was it wrong to want
to reach across the table and stab her with my fork? She was an actress
who had done commercials, and with those tits I'm guessing some adult movie
work as well. Okay, I swear to God I recognized her from some porno my last
girlfriend rented. We hadn't lasted long I'd been feeling the competition
from the triple-X section of the video store. I figured, if one was getting
jealous over a video the relationship wasn't going to work. Of course that
had me wondering if Megan had done some of those movies. Ahhhh! Bad thoughts,
bad thoughts.

"So, Remy?"

"Huh?" I blinked at the large-breasted
blonde across from me.

She giggled and fluttered her eyelashes
at me. Is she flirting with
me? Rolling my eyes,
I looked at Alison who was grinning in amusement, then to Megan who was studying
her sandwich.

"I asked if maybe you had a position
for me."

I continued to stare at her blankly.

"On the set."

"Um…" Pushy thing. "Well, uh, ask
Ali she might have a position for you." Thankfully those big blue eyes
moved over to Ali, who kicked me under the table.

Alison smiled. "Sure. Just make
an appointment with my secretary, and I'll bring you in for a test drive."

I choked on my soda.

"Oh, thank you," the blonde gushed.
"Okay, sweetie, I have to go. See you tonight."

They kissed and I thought I was
going to lose my lunch.

Megan looked a little embarrassed.
"Alison, that was nice of you. I'm really sorry about her being so pushy."

Alison waved her off. "In the season
finale we need a couple of hookers. She'll be perfect."

I choked on some green leaf and
kicked her under the table.

"Ow! What did I say?"

Megan just started laughing.

"You called her girlfriend a hooker,
you knucklehead."

"What? I did not! I just said
she'd be… perfect… oh crap. Megan, I'm sorry."

Megan was still laughing. "No,
it's okay. When it comes to this job, she can kind of whore herself around
to get work."

"Hey, Megan, you're the star. If
you don't want me to hire her, give me the word and I won't."

"Thanks, Alison, but giving her
some work might help me out a lot."

Alison wiggled her eyebrows. "Troubles
in paradise?"

"Ali!" Jeez, she could be a nosy
shit.

"No, Remy, it's okay. Alison, it's
never been paradise with Natalie, but it's been over a year and I feel like
just because we're having a rough patch doesn't mean we should just chuck
it out the window."

"That's very noble of you." Damn,
that sounded bitchy. "Sorry. I need to get back and make sure Roberto is
doing justice to the Clocktower."

Grumbling on my way back to the
set, I kept telling myself I just had another month and then this season
would be over. I could go home for three months. I really needed to look
into getting an apartment down here. Alison said if I was going to insist
on playing the despot and lording over everything, I would have to stay in
L.A. Although if Showtime signed us for another year, we were probably going
to move to British Columbia to film. There we could get the gritty rainy
mood that was so hard to duplicate in L.A.

---- --- ----

I sat in front of my drawing table
at a complete loss. My publisher was screaming at me for a new comic and
I was drawing a blank. It had been a month and I found myself missing the
craziness of television production. Tapping a pencil on my forehead didn't
seem to be helping me. Thankfully, the ringing phone offered a nice distraction.

"Hello."

"Who loves us?"

"Ali?"

"Yep, and I repeat - who loves us?"

"I don't know."

"The fans and Showtime. Two months
- you, me and BC, baby."

"No shit?"

"I would not shit about this."

"I'm oddly happy and excited about
this."

"The master of understatement as
usual, Remy. I need you to fly up to BC and meet me next week. We need
to check out the new digs and find apartments."

I sighed. "Fine."

"You know you love me. Plus, think
of it this way - in BC, Megan will be far from Natalie. Perhaps you can
break her down for a date or at least a quickie."

I wish I could say the thought hadn't
crossed my mind, but I was a nice person, not a saint.

---- --- ----

Season Two was well on its way and
I'd managed to squeeze out another BloodRaven comic. However, neither my
publisher, the fans, nor myself were really happy with the result. I was
beginning to think it was time to end the series or pull a trick out of my
hat. I was pondering actually killing off the Jester when Alison broke me
from my thoughts.

"Remy?"

"What?" Looking over I spied a
puzzled Alison, an upset Megan, and a midget walking toward me, where I sat
in a director's chair going over script changes. As they got closer I realized
the midget was actually a child. Puzzled, I tried to figure out where it
came from.

"Remy, we have a problem," Alison
started nervously.

"Look, I'm really sorry," Megan
broke in. "I'm not used to the Canadian holidays. I had no idea there was
no school today, and it's too late to get a sitter."

"Okay." I wasn't really sure how
this affected me.

"Since you don't really do anything
but lord over everybody, I was thinking you could watch Kit for the day."

"Kit? The car from Knight Rider ?"

"No. As in Kit, my daughter."

"You have a daughter! When? How?
Does the porno queen know?"

Megan glared at me she was very
much not happy with me right now. "Yes, I have a daughter. When, six years
ago. As for the how, I'm sure you took biology and yes, Natalie knows about
Kit."

Properly chastised, I stared at
the floor. "Sorry."

"So, Remy, will you watch the kid?"

A pair of blue eyes were staring
back at me from behind the leg of Megan's leather BloodRaven ass-kicking
pants. The kid looked like a little carbon copy of her mom: blue eyes,
dark brown hair. Her skin was paler it didn't have that always tan that
Megan's did. Kit didn't look like she liked this idea any better than I
did.

"Are you sure I'm the only one available?"

"Yes."

"Never mind. I can tell this is
a big inconvenience for Remy," Megan huffed.

"No, I can do this. I watch Gray's
kids all the time." That was such a lie. Well, okay, I watch them from the
other room. I try not to be in the same room with them they creep me out.

"Are you sure?"

I think Megan sensed I was full
of shit.

"Yeah, no problem."

"Okay." Megan crouched down to
be eye level with Kit. Dear Lord, look at that ass. "Kit, Mommy has to
go to work and play pretend. My friend Remy is going to watch you. Okay?"

"Can I stay and watch you?"

Jeez, the kid was a heartbreaker.
I looked at Alison and she shook her head no. I frowned. Why couldn't
me and the kid stay and… oh, sex scene today.

"Hey, Kit. You wanna go to the
kid's museum with me?"

She shyly ducked behind her mom.

I continued on bravely. "You see
I've always wanted to go but they won't let me in 'cause I'm not a kid.
If you come with me they're sure to let me in. What do you say?"

She shook her head no.

"Come on." I pouted. "I hear they
have lots of cool stuff you can touch and an IMAX. We can watch a movie
on the ocean." She was looking at me with interest now. Apparently Kit
liked the ocean.

"With dolphins?" She hesitantly asked.

"Yep, with dolphins." There had
better be dolphins or somebody was so going to die.

"Can I, Mom?"

"Sure, honey. Be sure to
obey Remy, okay?"

"Okay."

Kit shyly came over and grabbed
my hand. I tried to hide my distaste I expected the kid's grip to be sticky,
but happily it wasn't.

"Remy, are you sure you're
okay with this?"

"No problem." I took a deep
breath and guided the midget out of the studio.

---- ---- -----

You know, for a snot factory
Kit wasn't that bad. We were watching a 3-D show on how Jim's body works.
This was G-rated. We had the brain, heart, lungs, eyes, and stomach. Earlier
we'd stood in front of a blue screen and watched a TV that displayed white
blood cells which moved when we did. I poured on some disco moves while
Kit giggled watching that little single-celled guy get down on the screen
was pretty funny.

When the show was over we
deposited our glasses in the bin and I hoisted Kit up on my back. "You're
potty trained, right?"

She giggled. "You're silly."

"But that's a good silly,
right?"

"Yep." She patted my head.

"Hey, easy on the hair."

She just giggled some more.

"I shouldn't have let you
have that soda in the food court. So what now? Want to learn more about
the human body or should we move on to the dinosaurs?"

"Dinosaurs." She clapped
and bounced up and down.

"Ufff. Gently there, bucko."

--- ---- ---

Worn out, I paid the cab fare
and let the bouncing child lead me back into the studio. "Hey, Frank, will
you call and let Ali and Megan know Kit and I are back?"

"Sure."

Kit led me down the hall.
"Third door," I told her and she stopped in front of my door. Fumbling
with my keys, I opened the door to my office and walked in, heading right
for the couch. Sitting down I leaned back, letting out a yawn.

"Well, kiddo, I think you
broke me."

She sat down next to me.
Looking out of the corner of my eye, I caught her yawning. "I don't suppose
you'd be up for a nap?" She scowled at me. "Okay." I looked over at the
TV and VCR. "I think I have some Scooby-Doo. You up for that?" She yawned
again and nodded.

As I got up to turn on the
TV and load the tape, she laid down on the couch. I started the tape and
sat down on the floor, not really sure it would be appropriate for me to
take a nap on the couch with the little beast. Leaning my head back on the
couch, I failed to keep my eyes open.

Next thing I heard was Shaggy
exclaim, "Zoinks!" Blinking, I looked up at leather-clad legs right in front
of me. Yummy. And a crotch, and a… oh, blue eyes. 'Zoinks' was right.
"Megan?"

"Yep." She sat down with
a smile, her leather pants creaking slightly.

"How did shooting go?"

"Fine. Doug's a creep, but
we got the shoot done."

I yawned. "You want me to
fire him?"

"No, he's perfect for FBI
Agent Jim Daly."

"'Kay."

"So was Kit good for you?"

"You know, she was. Gray's
kids never mind me, and Kit was surprisingly free of snot and sticky hands."

Megan laughed. "You're not
just saying that, are you?"

"Actually, no. I had a good
time with her. If you want me to watch her again just let me know. Unless
she's having a big snot-producing day, then count me out."

"Thanks. You don't know how
hard it is to find people to watch a hyper six-year-old."

"Nope, I don't, but I'm happy
to help you out."

"Thanks. I wish others were
as nice as you."

"By others, you mean Natalie,
don't you?"

Megan bit her lip. "Yeah,
but it's not your problem."

"Megan, don't be like that.
I'd like to think we're friends."

She gave me this strange look
and a sad smile. "Yeah, friends."

"Well, gosh, don't be so happy
about it."

She laughed and kissed my
cheek. "Don't ever change, Remy."

I wanted to say, 'I want to
change to be whatever you'll need so you'll give me just one chance.' But
I stayed silent.

"Mommy?"

Megan smiled at the midget
on the couch. "Hey, sweetie. Did you have fun?"

"Uh-huh. I saw whales, and
learned about sound, and Remy made the white thing do disco 'cause she said
it had soul."

Megan looked at me I just
shrugged. "It did have lots of soul."

"Come on, Pumpkin, time to
go home."

"'Kay."

"Thanks again, Remy."

"No problem." I watched them
leave my office and I felt very alone.

---- ---- -----

"No, no, no, nooooooo!"

Peeking out of my office door
to see what all the 'no' was about, I was taken out by a midget. "Ahhhhh!"
I screamed and landed on my back. Looking up, I saw tear-filled blue eyes.
"Hey mid… er, Kit. What's wrong?"

I could see a snot bubble
- eww. "Um, why don't you let me up and we can go find your mom?"

"No."

"Okay. How about you let me
up anyways?"

She slowly got up and I tried
to avoid clothing contact with her nose. I took her into my office and made
her blow her nose. That simple act caused my anxiety to go down. I looked
down at her and she looked up. Stumped, I wasn't sure what to do. "So you
want to tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't like Natlee."

"Me neither." Crap. I'd
said that out loud in front of Megan's kid. That's going to be coming up
at dinner.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. So I'm guessing
this has something to do with Ms. Wondertits?" I so don't spend any time
around children. I just wanted to smack myself in the head. Who the hell
says 'Wondertits' in front of a six-year-old? She just stared at me with
a cute little puzzled expression on her face. "Please don't repeat that
around your mother."

"'Kay."

"We need to find your mother
so she doesn't worry about you."

"No."

"What is it with you and that
word?"

She shrugged and tugged on
my pant leg.

"What?"

"Up. Horsy ride."

Sighing, I came to terms with
my life as a beast of burden. "Give me your arms." I swung her up. "Okay,
you get a horsy ride while we find your mom."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"NOOOOO!"

"Ow! You little anti-Chri…"

"Kit? Kit, where are you?"

Megan's voice distracted me
from another embarrassing faux pas. I stepped into the hall. "Megan, are
you looking for this?"

"Kit! You, you, you scared
me. You shouldn't have run off like that. Natalie and I were both scared
for you."

I fought really hard not to
roll my eyes. I didn't see Ms. Wondertits looking for Kit.

"I wanna spend the day with
Remy not waunderits."

"Who?" Megan blinked, confused.

Oh please, please don't let
her put that together.

"Wondertits!" Kit shouted
for the whole hall to hear.

"Remy, did my child just say
what I thought she did?"

"No. Whatever you heard,
it was not that."

"Kit, come on. Natalie is
waiting."

"No!"

"Megan, really, it's okay.
She can hang with me if she wants. I'm going to be in my office all day
working. I have some Powerpuff cartoons on tape and if she gets bored with
that she can draw or paint."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Really, it's not a
problem."

"Megan? Darling. We're going
to be late for our lunch reservations."

Speaking of them. I mean,
her.

"Yes, Natalie, I did find
Kit. She was hiding with Remy." Megan seemed a little pissed that Natalie
hadn't asked about Kit.

"Oh, Ms. St. James, it's lovely
to meet you again. I have my portfolio in my car if…"

"Natalie, not now."

"Megan, I'm sure it's not
any problem. She is a childhood friend of yours."

Feeling bad for Megan, I quickly
jumped in. "Um, I'm kind of being manhandled at the moment, but if you'd
give it to Alison's secretary I'll look at it when I get a moment."

"See, honey, it wasn't a problem
at all."

But I think it was. Megan
had that look she gets in her eyes when she's deep into her BloodRaven character.
"I can't believe you. Kit runs off and your first concern is lunch and
then networking."

"She's fine. Remy has her.
What's the big deal? It's fine for you to get all the breaks but not me."

"Not now, Natalie."

"Well, you started it."

"Wondertits!" Kit yelled again.

Oh, just kill me now.

"Why, you little brat."

"Natalie."

"You heard what your child
called me."

"She's six."

"Um, hello!" Both pissed
off women looked at me. "Megan, are you done for the day?"

"Yes!"

Yikes. "I'll watch the big-mouth
wonder. Why don't you two go grab lunch and talk?" I couldn't believe that
I was helping them work out their problems.

"Thanks." Megan smiled.

Turning around, Kit and I
fled for my office.

Disengaging the tree monkey
from my back, I set her down. "You just had to open your mouth. Your mom's
going to get me."

Unconcerned, Kit giggled.

We were both sitting at my
desk drawing. Looking over, I noticed she'd drawn what I thought might be
a knight fighting a monster. I'd go with the stereotypical answer and say
dragon but it didn't look much like a dragon.

"Is that a knight?"

"Nope. It's Mommy fighting
the bad guys."

"Really?"

"Uh huh." She nodded.

"Do you like sword fighting?"

"Uh huh."

"If I can find somebody, you
want to watch me sword fight?"

"Really?" Her eyes were huge.

"Yep, come on."

It took a few minutes, but
I found Leslie, Megan's stunt and fighting double. Luckily, she was in need
of a warm up and agreed to a fencing match.

"Okay, Kit, I need you to
sit here and not move. Swords are dangerous and if you come onto the floor
you could accidentally get hurt. You understand?" She nodded.

"Okay. This here is safety
gear. Feel this. It's padded so if she hits me on the chest it won't actually
hurt me." She poked the padding. "This is a face mask it protects my face."

"Bug eye."

"Well, yes, I guess it does
look like a bug eye."

"Mommy doesn't wear that."

"Actually she does until we're
ready for the final shoot." Looking over I saw that Leslie was ready. "Wish
me luck."

"Good luck."

We slid back and forth, metal
singing against metal. Fencing is all about the point scoring can only
happen if the point of the foil strikes a target area. You could score with
the edge if you were fighting with a saber. Right foot quickstep forward,
left foot slides up behind. Leslie is good but she obviously learned to
fight with the saber she keeps forgetting you can't slash. I was going
to have a couple of good bruises. Quickly I tapped my sword against hers
as she pressed back then dropped my sword in a quick V under hers, then
back up to lunge and strike at her opening.

"Mommy!"

Distracted, I didn't see her
counter which slid right into my throat. The padding helped a little but
I was still choking.

"Oh God, are you okay?" Leslie
asked, concerned.

I gave her a thumbs-up sign
as I tried to catch my breath.

"Mommy, kiss it better."

Thanks, kid. That would really
help me get my wind back. Quickly I released the facemask and loosened the
vest. I rubbed the area around my throat. God, Alison's just going to have
a field day with this.

"You sure you're okay?"

I smiled at Leslie. "Yeah,
I'll be fine. The padding helped a bit."

"Okay. I'm going to flee
before the little one attacks me for beating you up."

Glancing over, I caught Kit
glaring at Leslie.

"Hey there. I'm okay."

Kit ran up and tackled me
again. "That was so cool. Can you teach me?"

"Um, when you're older."

"How old?"

"When you're taller than the
sword."

"Fine."

"I can't leave you two alone
for a minute."

I smiled up at Megan. "I
don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you really going to be
okay?"

"Yep. I believe I will be."

"Okay. That was really great.
You two with the swords, it looked like…" She paused, searching for a word.
"It looked like poetry." She reached a hand down to help me up.

I blushed. "Thank you."

"No, thank you for watching
Kit. Natalie and I were really overdue for a talk."

"I'm glad I could help you
out." God, just stick hot needles in my eyes it would be less painful.
Megan got that weird look on her face.

She leaned in close and I
got that weird feeling like I should be kissing her, but I already did that
once and it didn't turn out so well.

"You know, sometimes I wish
I'd been ready for somebody sweet in high school. Instead I had to be all
about the bad boys."

What was she telling me here?
"I understand most girls have that problem."

"Did you?"

"No. But I did have a thing
for bad girls. I did create BloodRaven, after all."

"Is BloodRaven your dream
girl?"

I laughed. "No. I think
I want someone a little more real, down to earth."

She smiled. "Good to know.
Kit, we should be getting home."

I was putting away the protective
gear when Megan called out, "Remy, just so you know, Natalie and I are breaking
up."

I dropped the facemask. I
juggled it for a moment, and then I tripped over a chair. "What?" But she
was gone.

I wasn't sure what that meant.
I mean, I knew what I wanted it to mean, but I wasn't sure why she'd disclosed
that to me. And what was the appropriate waiting period before asking someone
out after they go through a split. My head swirling with thoughts, I opened
the door to my office. Caught unprepared, I just stopped, stunned at the
spectacle in my office.

"Oh Jesus."

"So you think my tits are
wonderful?"

"I-I-I, far as I can see they're
very nice. Very much, not giving into gravity, but still very nice. Um,
why are you naked on my couch?" I was going to have to dip the thing in
disinfectant. Right after I dipped my eyeballs.

"Well, I was hoping we could
have a casting session."

"Right. Um, Alison really
does that kind of thing. And don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Remy? I was wondering…"

In a panic I turned to the
hallway. "Megan?"

She looked past me into the
room then at me. Oh crap, she's got that BloodRaven ass-kicking look on
her face. "Never mind. I can see that you're busy. I hope you're able
to find a position for Ms. Martin."

"Megan, it's…" But she was
already gone.

"Oh, Ms. St. James?"

I turned back to Natalie.

"No, I don't have a girlfriend
anymore, and neither do you." With the efficiency of a hooker, Natalie was
dressed and walking past me down the hall.

"How the hell did you know
I'd come back to my office? How did you know she'd come looking for me?"
The evil bitch just laughed and kept walking away. That was the kind of
timing that only happened in comic books and television I think I've cursed
myself. I quietly shut my office door behind me. Avoiding the couch, I
headed for my desk I sat down and held my head in my hands. This was a
moment for drink, but I didn't feel like drinking. Pain. Moments of pain
were made for art. Picking up a pencil, I opened my sketchbook and began.

In twenty-four hours, not
one person had knocked on my door or come looking for me. I suspected the
office grapevine had me branded a dog. In my hand was the first rough sketch
of the last BloodRaven comic. My muse had died, but she'd given me a beautiful
going-away present. I made two photocopies. One I put in an envelope addressed
to myself. The other I carried with me. I slipped the envelope into the
mail, then I walked down to Alison's office. I knocked on the door, hoping
she wasn't there.

"Come in."

"Hey, Ali."

"Remy. You look like shit."

"I feel like it too."

We sat in an awkward silence,
at least it felt awkward to me. "I'm leaving."

"Remy, you can't leave. What
will the crew do without its little despotic mascot?"

"Breathe a sigh of relief,
I imagine."

"Remy, give her time. She'll
realize there was no way you and Natalie were screwing around with each other."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does too matter. You've
been in love with her since elementary school. It fucking matters."

"You and my father have talked,
I see."

"He may have called wondering
how you were."

I laughed. "It's okay. But
I'm still going home."

"Fine. I'll call you when
Roberto gets full of himself again."

"Please don't." I got up
to leave. "Oh, here." I threw her the photocopy.

"What's this?"

"The last BloodRaven comic.
Thought you'd like a sneak peek."

I was halfway down the hall
when she yelled at me. "You killed her. Goddamn, you killed her."

It's all very dramatic.
The Jester took the Huntsman's
cursed arrow meant for BloodRaven. Falling to the floor, she asked BloodRaven
to take off her mask, revealing Charlotte.

'Why?'
asked BloodRaven.

'Because
I was in love with you and, as Charlotte, you never gave me the time of day.
But I watched you and you always had a thing for the bad boys and girls.
So I made myself bad so you would notice me,' Jester moaned, coughing up
blood.

'I'm
sorry I couldn't love you, Charlotte. I wish things had been different.'

'So
do I.' The Jester's eyes slowly closed. With a scream of pain the Raven
took the bloody mask and her sword and marched onward to battle the forces
of evil.

Okay, it looked better with
the cool graphics I drew. I was afraid that if I didn't leave now I'd end
up like the Jester. Dead. Dead, without the chance to have experienced
love. The Jester was in love with a woman who never noticed her and, in
the end, what did that get her? Nada. So I thought I'd take a lesson from
my alter ego.

Well, I didn't really think
I'd end up dying, but it's a metaphor. It'd been almost two years since
I'd had a date. Since I'd been working on the show and around Megan I had
put parts of my life on hold. That wasn't fair it was time to move on.

Sitting on the plane I wondered
if I'd made the biggest mistake of my life, but there was no getting off
the plane.

--- --- ----

"Aunt Remy, there's no such
thing as magic."

I stared at Gray's oldest
her wire-rim glasses made her look older and wiser than her nine years.
"Gray, would you quit ruining the joy of childhood in your kids? Just 'cause
you're a chemistry geek doesn't mean you have to push it on your kids."

"My kids are just fine," she
shouted at me from the dining room.

"Okay, smarty-pants, if there's
no such thing as magic, how can I get this out of your ear?" I proceeded
to pull a quarter out of her ear.

She rolled her eyes at me.
"'Cause it was in your hand."

"Really?" I held up my hands
for her, showing that the palms were empty, then proceeded to pull another
quarter out of her ear.

Her eyes got wide and she
took off into the other room. "Mommy, Mommy! Aunt Rem can do magic."

"Sure she can. Remy! Stop
messing with my children's brains."

Logan came in and handed me
a beer. He was wearing the God-awful sweater Mom had knitted him for Christmas
last year. It had a big fluffy snowman on it. Sadly, I looked down at mine
it had a Christmas tree on it.

"So how does it feel to be
unemployed?" he asked.

"Pretty good. The show is
doing well and the last comic sold great."

"Still can't believe you ended
it like that. But what a bang."

"Yep." I took a swallow of
beer. "Are Dad and Hank done grilling the bird?"

"Nope. But I think you can
see the fire from Mars."

"Jesus. Think we should go
get another fire extinguisher?"

"Might not be a bad idea.
The Mart is still open."

"Probably should get some
burn cream."

"That's a good idea." He
nodded.

It was so odd to see my brother
so mellow. Normally he was all focused basketball guy, but now he talked
about his kids and his wife. His knees had finally given out, so he had
moved home and taken a job coaching the local high-school team. But he was
far less tense.

I took another sip. "Gray?"

"Yes?"

"Logan and I are headed down
to the Mart for burn cream and another fire extinguisher."

"Uh huh. I think you have
a secret mom inside of you just waiting to get out."

"Shut up, jerkface."

"Hey, I'll tell Mom."

"Where is Mom?"

"She went to pick Maria up
at the airport. She's flying back from seeing Megan."

"Oh."

"Hey, Remy, did you know every
time someone brings up Megan's name you curl your lip?"

"I do not."

"Megan. Ha, see, you did
it again."

I threw his coat at him.
"Come on. Let's go make the world safe from idiots with fire." Opening
the front door I came face to face with Maria Mom was cheerfully standing
behind her.

"Merry Christmas, Remy."

"Merry Christmas, Ms. Sinclair."

"Ah, how many times do I have
to tell you call me Maria?"

"Sorry. Merry Christmas,
Maria."

"That's better."

I stood back to them into
the house. Behind Mom there was a midget.

"Remy!"

A midget who tried to take
me out at the knees. "Kit?"

"Up."

Not really thinking about
it, I swung her up into my arms and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"You went away," she scolded
me.

"I'm sorry. I missed you
everyday."

"Really?"

"Yep. Gray and Logan's kids
won't draw with me."

"I will."

"Good, I'm counting on it."

Somebody cleared her throat
to get my attention. Looking up, I was stunned by the sight of Megan standing
in the doorway. I guess I should have realized she'd be here if her kid
was.

"Do I get a hello as well?"

"Megan. Hi. I'm, … I, …
well, I thought you were in BC."

"Mom convinced me to fly home
with her for the break."

"Great." I hope that sounded
convincing. "Oh here, come in." I stepped out of the way so she could come
in. Setting Kit down I moved to the door, slipping past Megan.

"I'll be back. I'm going
to get another fire extinguisher, " I called out. Not waiting to see if
Logan was following I hastily made an exit.

"Are those idiots still in
the backyard with the turkey?" Mom muttered as I shut the door.

Closing my eyes, I tried to
center myself. Megan showing up was not something I'd been ready for. I
crunched down the sidewalk, my booted feet sinking into the fresh snow.
The Mart was only two blocks away.

"Remy, wait." I heard Megan
call out but I didn't stop moving.

"It's fine. I'll be right
back. Go inside and get warm."

"I said wait, goddamn it."

I still didn't stop moving.
Whap! A snowball hit me square in the back. Turning, I spied Megan glaring
at me. "You little shit." Scooping up some snow, I straightened up and
got slammed right in the face with another one. Scrambling on the icy cement,
I lost my footing and went down.

"Remy?"

I didn't move. I wasn't hurt,
but she didn't know that. Sneak attack me, will she?

"Remy, it's not funny."

Oh, but it will be.

Peeking through my snowy eyelashes,
I saw her walk up to me.

"Remy?"

That's it, a little closer.
As she bent over I attacked surging up I pushed her easily back into the
snowy yard of some neighbor. Straddling her waist I proceeded to pour snow
over the top of her.

"Remy! That's cold, you jerk."
Laughing I continued.

"Paybacks are a bitch."

"Stop! Uncle. Stop! Please!"

Breathing hard, I sat back.
"Why are you here?"

"It's Christmas. I'm here
to visit family and friends."

"Okay."

"We're still friends, aren't
we?"

I bit my lip but didn't answer
for a moment. "No. You believed I would cheat on you with Ms. Wondertits.
A friend would know me better."

Leaning back I got off her
and continued on down to the store before it closed. Thankfully she didn't
follow me.

Knocking the snow off my shoes,
I reentered the house. "I have burn cream and a fire extinguisher!" I yelled.

"Good!" My mother yelled
back. "Go take it to your father. He set himself on fire when he decided
that the grill needed more coals."

I laughed. My dad didn't
use to be this way. Mom blamed Hank she said he was a bad influence on
Dad.

Shrugging out of my coat,
I hung it up. Turning back around I gave a little yelp of surprise. "Megan,
don't sneak up on me."

"Sorry, I didn't realize I
was being so quiet."

"Well, you were." Her eyes
got big. "Sorry, that sounded cranky."

"It's okay. I'm sure I… this…
Kit and I being here was a surprise…" She trailed off, seeming to deflate.

Was I being an ass? I did
a second of introspection. I guess maybe I was, a little. "Hey no, I missed
the midget…"

"Midget?"

Ouch, right, internal monologue
was not allowed outside the body. "Um, it's just a little name I have for…
um, burn cream. I should really get that out to my dad." I grabbed my coat
right back off the hook I'd just placed it on and fled to the winter wonderland
of the backyard. Stupid, Remy. Way to
put your foot in your mouth.> Although I didn't know why
I was mentally yelling at myself. I was so over Megan Sinclair.

Dad and Hank were standing
next to the grill.

"Dad, don't you think you
and Mr. Sinclair should be at least five feet away from the grill?"

"Now, Remy, what's the point
in that? We wouldn't be able to see how the bird is cooking from that far
away." He turned and looked at me, puzzled. I couldn't help it I busted
up laughing.

"Here." I tossed him the
burn cream. "Rub that where your eyebrows used to be."

Dad caught the tube and smacked
Hank. "You told me I was fine."

Megan's dad, Hank, who was
six feet of hairy muscle, just shrugged. "You're fine. Nothing's broken
or bleeding, and the hair will grow back."

Dad grumbled and started putting
the burn cream on.

I came as close to the signal
flare to the mothership as I dared. "So, how much longer?"

Hank scratched his beard in
thought. "Well, something like this can't be rushed, and we put the turkey
onto the grill… what would you say Gavin? A half hour ago?"

Dad pondered. "Sounds about
right."

"What have you two been doing
out here all this time?"

They looked sheepish. "You
know, guy things."

"Guy things, huh?"

"Yep." They both grinned,
looking like little boys.

"You ruined the first one
and snuck out for another."

They looked at me in shock.
"Never!"

"That's not what the cashier
said at the Mart." I chuckled as they sputtered, then they too started to
laugh.

"Here, have a beer and join
us in manly stuff, like grilling."

"I'm hardly manly." I laughed,
taking the beer.

"Not from what I hear." Hank
chuckled.

"What?"

"Let's see. You bitch slapped
your set designer, are deathly afraid of any liquid coming out of a child's
nose, and…"

"Hey stop, that's plenty."
I blushed.

Hank slapped me good-naturedly
on the back. "Megan tells me you and Kit hit it off."

"Kit's a good kid. Bit of
a blabbermouth but good."

He began to laugh. "Oh, I
heard all about the Wondertits comment. That was priceless."

I glowered but Hank kept on
laughing.

"Honey, it really was funny,"
Dad chimed in, trying to help.

"Okay, maybe I'll find it
funny in like 20 years or something."

"That's the spirit."

Hank wiped the tears out of
his eyes from laughing. "Hey, Gavin, your turn to flip the bird."

The grin Dad got was almost
scary. He began to what I only can assume is their version of suiting up.
He picked up a wielding shield and slipped it over his face, then put thick
oven mitts on both hands, and lastly picked up two huge tongs.

As Dad approached the grill,
Hank did some grilling of his own.

"So why are you here and not
in BC with my little girl?"

"I needed a break from the
show and everything."

"Some break. You killed off
the Jester. I'm very pissed with you."

"You and a few hundred other
people."

"You can't just end the comic
there."

"Hank, please don't…"

"You're a coward."

"Excuse me!" That was a non
sequitur if there ever was one.

"You're a coward. At least
the Jester told BloodRaven how she felt."

"She was dying."

"Yeah, but you're not. Have
you ever once told my little girl how you really felt about her?"

"What? Mr. Sinclair, I think
that's really none of your business."

"No, you haven't. Have you
ever let everything out? Laid your cards out for everybody to see?"

"Well, she shot me down pretty
good in high school."

"This isn't high school.
And you're not the socially shy teenager that used to ride her bike in front
of my house hoping to get a glimpse of my daughter 50 times a day."

My face and neck started to
turn red from embarrassment. "I-I-I… how did you know?"

"Remy, I'm not blind. And I did
the same thing with Maria. Only I had a Harley."

You know, if I'd had a Harley
that would have solved a lot of my problems. Who was I kidding? I'd have
looked like a five-year-old on one of those things.

"Mr. Sinclair…"

"I know you're upset with
me, Remy, but call me Hank."

"Fine. Hank. I just … it
would never work."

"Why?"

"She has a kid…"

"Whom you adore."

"It's me, okay. I built her
up from grade school to be this mythic thing and…"

"And when she turned out to
be flesh and blood with doubts, and rash judgments, you got scared."

I laughed but it sounded almost
like a sob. "No, but she thought I would cheat on her with Ms. Wondertits."

He glared at me. "Never mind,
Remy. I don't want my daughter with somebody who's not a fighter, somebody
who gives up without even trying, somebody who's too afraid to try and taste
happiness. So you just stay away."

I glared back. "Don't you
tell me what to do. I know where your house is. I have duct tape and I'm
not afraid to use it."

"Well, she did kind of get
around. Had a child out of wedlock. What exactly she did in L.A. to make
ends meet is kind of sketchy…"

"Gavin," Hank warned.

"Hey you two, stop it." They
ignored me. "Dad! Hank!" I threw my hands up. Great! I'd ruined Christmas.
Years from now Logan's kids would be all grown up but they would refuse
to celebrate the holidays because of this one-year where Grandpa and Mr.
Sinclair killed each other and burned down a whole city block. It would
be all my fault.

Making a retreat into the
house, I yelled out, "Logan, go make Dad and Hank stop fighting."

"No way! Make Mom and Maria
do it. Ow! Fine." He came out of the den rubbing his stomach. He went
to the fridge and pulled out a six-pack. He glanced at me. "What? Beer
solves every ailment known to man."

"Uh huh."

"I know you share a lot of
guy traits since you're a lesbian but you're still not a guy. You wouldn't
get it."

I sighed and pretended to
understand as Logan made his way outside.

"What's up?" Megan asks asked,
scaring me again.

"Jesus!" I hadn't heard her
come up behind me.

"Megan, you need a friggin'
bell."

"Language," my mom yelled
from the den.

"Sorry," I yelled back.

We stood in what I felt to
be an awkward silence.

"So?" we both said at the
same time.

"Go ahead," I offered.

"Are you ever coming back
to the set? I miss…I mean the crew misses their little despotic mascot.
Roberto looks at your chair at least three times a day."

"I'm sure I'll be back," I
hedged.

"Remy, I just want you to
know how sorry I am."

"About what? Megan, there's
really nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything." I waved her off.

"Alison so ripped me a new
one for jumping to conclusions."

"Megan, what's in the past
is past. There's no need…"

"Remy, shut up. I'm trying
to apologize," she interrupted with a glare.

"Okay," I muttered sheepishly.

"I'm sorry I basically accused
you of having an affair with Natalie."

"Apology accepted?" I wasn't
really sure how I should respond.

She laughed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." God, women were confusing.

Maria burst into the room,
towed along by the midget. "See? I told you she hadn't run away again."

Ouch, that hurt. I know it
was me they were referring too. "Hey Mid… Kit." Megan smirked at me as
she caught my slip. I knelt down and scooped up Kit. She giggled and climbed
her away round to my back, the little tree monkey. Smacking me on the head,
she said, "I thought you left again."

"Nah. I had to go get some
safety stuff for my dad and your grandpa. They were playing with fire."

"Playing with fire is bad."

"Yep," I agreed. "Besides,
why would I leave you when we haven't even had time to hang out?"

"Can we draw?" she asked excitedly,
bouncing on my back.

"Sure."

"Goody."

I winced as her excited bounce
intensified.

"You're very good with my
little one," Maria commented, patting my cheek. Maria looked like a housewife.
She had graying black hair in loose curls, plump cheeks, a round body and
she wasn't much taller than me. I could imagine her running PTAs and Girl
Scout meetings but no, she runs the Kitty Club, filled to the brim with exotic
dancers.

"Thanks. The little tree
monkey seems to have just sort of grown on me."

"And your mother tells me
you hate small children. She was telling me the other day how you would run
and hide whenever Logan or Gray would come over with their kids, but I see
you two and know your mother was pulling my leg."

"Eh, you know," I waffled,
knowing that the two Sinclair women were laughing at me somehow.

Logan came in wiping snow
out of his hair. His eyes lit up at the scene. "Ha. See? I knew you had
a maternal bone in your body."

I thought it was time for
a retreat. "Come on, Kit let's go color."

She just cheered and clapped
her hands.

--- --- ---

Kit happily drew away. I
wasn't so happily drawing away. At first, I kept drawing the Jester over
and over again. In some her expression was one of disappointment while in
others I thought she looked like she was mocking me. Then I started drawing
a little comic of me kicking Hank's ass. Call me a coward. I'm no coward.

"Are you and Mommy fighting?"

"What?" Kit's question was
totally out of the blue.

"Are you angry at my mommy?"

"No." Puzzled, I reflected
on why she would think that. Giving up, I asked, "Why do you think that?"

"'Cause. You two seem sad
and you seem upset and more sad when you're around each other."

"It's…" How did you explain
things to six year old? "It's complicated."

"Mommy misses you. Her and
the boss lady had a fight and the boss lady was mean and wouldn't tell us
where you went. I made you pictures but I couldn't send them. I don't like
the boss lady." Kit was pouted.

"Aww, sweetheart. Ali wasn't
being mean she just doesn't know how much you and your mommy mean to me.
She thought she was protecting me, I bet."

"Do you love me?"

Ack, she used those sad little
orphan eyes. "Of course I do."

"Good." She patted my hand.
"I like you much better than Natalie."

"That's not hard," I muttered.

"Do you love Mommy?"

"Um… it's complicated."

She looked up at me, blue
eyes boring into mine. "It's okay." She patted my hand again. "You're
just scared."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

I started tickling her. What
was it with people and calling me chicken? She squirmed out of my grasp
and, with a squeal, started running through the house. "Come back here!"

Going around the corner into
the kitchen, I plowed right into another body. It was a tall body so, thankfully,
it wasn't the midget.

"Remy, I thought I told you
I wanted you nowhere near my daughter," Hank growled. Blinking, I looked
up into his scowling face then down at the body I was sprawled on top of.
I gave a wince, realizing it was Megan.

Megan laughed. "Dad, chill
out."

With a squeak I tried to get
up. The midget had crept back and was starting to giggle. Blushing, I helped
Megan up.

"What's going on in here?"
Maria made her way into the kitchen. With a laugh, she stated to my dismay,
"How perfect! You're both standing under some mistletoe."

I stared up in horror. How
come I had the feeling that everyone was out to get me and Megan together?
Especially now that I'd resigned myself to the task of moving on.

"Right. Remy's too chicken,"
Hank muttered then he had the nerve to flap his arms like wings.

"Dad, for crying out loud.
Knock it off." Megan looked embarrassed.

Screw him. I wasn't a chicken.
I reached up and cupped her face in my hands, and with a little pressure
brought it down to my level. Then as gently as I could I barely touched
my lips to hers.

Then the peanut gallery chimed
in.

"Eww, they're kissing," Kit
blabbered.

"That's not a kiss. See, Remy,
you're even a wussy kisser," Hank growled.

"Hank," Maria warned.

I'd show Mister Pushy. Sometime
during the second kiss everybody cleared the room - which was good, since
Megan's tongue sneak-attacked me and it got much more heated than the chaste
kiss I'd been going for. Breaking apart, I inhaled air quickly into my lungs.

"Wow."

She smiled and brushed the
hair out of my face. "Not that I'm complaining, but you didn't kiss me just
because my dad called you a chicken, did you?"

"Um, well, your dad had a
good point." Several good points, now that my head was out of my ass.

"That you're a chicken?"

"Well, yeah."

"Does this mean, well…"

She looked shy all of a sudden
it was cute.

"Megan, could we maybe… look,
what I'm trying to say is since you knocked me down in the first grade playing
Red Rover I've been in love with you - okay, more like a serious crush.
Now that I've got to really know you I'm so…" Okay, that was a bit much
on the disclaimer. "So can we go out on a date and maybe find out if there's
something more here between us?"

She just kissed me again.
I took that as a yes.

We broke apart and she held
my face in her hands like she was afraid I was going to run away. "Um, don't
look now but there's a small child with glasses staring at us."

Glancing to the left then
the right I spied Gray's middle child staring at us. With his bowl cut and
glasses he looked kind of like a redheaded Harry Potter - which would be
great, except he thought the books were rubbish. Gray's kids were seriously
warped.

"Xavier, is there something
you wanted?"

"No, I was just observing
the mating habits of the female homosexual."

I blinked. The kid was seven
what seven-year-old talks like that? Her kids were seriously messed in the
head

Megan started laughing. "Is
there anybody in your family that's normal?"

"Gray, your kid's taking notes
while I'm trying to make out with Megan!"

"Which one?" Gray asked.

I heard Logan mutter, "Messed
in the head."

Somebody started clapping.
"I knew you weren't a coward!"

That bastard, he played me.
Megan's dad so played me.

"Gray, come get Xavier. He's
giving me the creeps."

"Xavier, it's time to feed
your spiders."

That kid was seriously creepy.
Who kept spiders as pets?

"So are we good?" I mumbled
into Megan's shoulder.

"Do you forgive me for jumping
to rash decisions about you and Natalie?"

I shrugged. "I guess. In
the future when we're a couple and happily married, promise me you'll try
to talk things through when you think you may have jumped to a rash conclusion."

"Married, huh?"

I blushed. "Hey! I'm a very
good catch, I'll have you know."

"And have I caught you?"

"Jeez, we haven't even had
a date," I mock grumbled.

She laughed.

But she'd caught me in elementary
school. It just took her a while to get with the program.

She kissed me again.

"Wow. That particular brand
of mistletoe must be really potent." Logan chuckled.

"Grandma, they're still kissing,"
Kit added.

"Come on, you two. The bird's
ready time to eat," Dad broke in.

"As you can see, Aunt Remy's
ears have turned red, which I theorize indicates arousal…"

"Gray! Put a muzzle on your
kid," Logan groused. "I shouldn't be hearing the word 'arousal' out of a
seven-year-old's mouth. You know he's going to grow up to be a pervert."

"You know what?" I whispered
in Megan's ear as I took her hand and led her to the dining room.

"What?"

"I think this is one Christmas
I won't soon forget."

--- --- ---

Season three found the show
still a hit. I was living in sin with Megan in BC I still haven't convinced
her to marry me yet. Someday I'll wear her down. Being in a lesbian relationship
hasn't really hurt Megan's career, but she takes it slow. She's had some
acclaim from roles in a few independent films, but she's unwilling to go
'all Hollywood' as she calls it. I even got a bit role in the series, set
to air later in the season. I got to play a villain. Alison pushed me pretty
hard to do it. I think she was tired of me mooning around the set, but it
was fun. I played a familiar half-human half-cat demon. Just getting into
makeup every day was a hoot it was a pain, but I looked so different afterwards.
Megan loved it because she got to kick my ass around the stage. It was
the best couples therapy ever.

The comic remains in limbo,
but after several restless nights I've started a new one called Afterlife . I tried to find a way to
bring the Jester back from the dead. I wasn't going to go all cheesy and
just miraculously have her come back in the next episode of BloodRaven.
This comic follows the Jester's adventures in the death realm and her quest
to get back to her one heart's desire, BloodRaven. Unlike me, the Jester
wasn't a quitter.

The alarm on my computer went
off, reminding me it was time to take the midget to karate practice. Kit
kept bugging me about learning how to fence I told her that while she was
still too young to learn fencing, there was something she could do that would
help her be ready when she was old enough. Karate will help her learn flexibility
and some discipline.

"Hey, you suited up for class?"

She came running into the
room, the fabric of her slightly-too-big Gi rubbing against itself.

"Hiiii Yaaa!" She yelled,
tackling me to the couch.

We laughed and roughhoused.
"Come on let's go." Yep, I was pretty much what I considered to be a stay-at-home
mom. Oddly, I loved it.

"Are we picking Mom up?"

"Yep. As soon as you get
out of class we're off to the airport to get her."

Kit clapped her hands excitedly
and twirled around the room. I couldn't help but smile a goofy grin. Even
though Megan had only been gone a day for some promotional work, I found
it was one day too many.

We piled into the car. "Can
you come and talk to my class next week?"

"Sure. What about?"

"Well, Mr. Yung Lee was very
excited when I told him one of my Moms is an artist."

You know, I still got choked
up when she called me 'Mom'. "Sure. Did you explain that I create comic
books?"

"Yeah. Then he said that
was even better 'cause most of the kids would relate."

"Okay. I'll email him."

"Goody."

Standing I looked through
the window into the dojo, watching a bunch of kids mimic the instructor.
I slipped a hand into my jacket pocket to clasp the jewelry box in my palm.
Yep, someday soon I'll make Megan make me an honest woman.