Monday, August 24, 2009

There you have it, the crux of my inner confusion. See, when you aren’t sure of the basic premise, reasoning further only leads to suspect conclusions.

Frequently I find myself in the most unusual circumstances, given the actual effort expended and likelihood of of such things. They tend to be horizon broadening and fun, and way beyond my pay grade, yet somehow quite natural. It baffles me.

Another possibility is the alien theory; either that I’m an alien who just landed here, or that they abduct me whenever the want which is plenty.

Maybe it is just a matter of contrasts. Extreme contrasts in life can make the new seem suspect, like it was just a figment of imagination. Maybe that is why I had the unpleasant cop adventure when my car was trashed–just to demonstrate how positive most interactions actually have been since I launched the Tour. Whatever the case, it is a mindblowing adventure. The styles of life, people, places and thinking I’ve stumbled into here in CA do tend to amaze me. All that serves to make me wonder how I could have ever been so darkly secluded in Memphis.

It has to be the contrast at work. I start to think that I’m not used to the socializing and respect, but given the course of the last year, it is becoming more the rule than exception. That doesn’t stop it from being surprising every time a new and unusual, horizon broadening twist of fate presents itself.

No matter how it is viewed, I still don’t get it. Although, much of it is what I consciously asked for on some level. Only I did not know exactly what it would be like in reality. How can you know what you don’t know but hope to experience?

So, it was another one of those weekends. Extraordinary. Maybe it is good I don’t have the pattern and stability I sometimes crave, or lament. It allows for enough flexibility to experience things that broaden my view of life and its possibilities. Whatever the truth, it appears that my outlook on a lot has definitely undergone some changes. I’m glad of that.

At least I was able to keep my word, which involved a frying pan. The details are unimportant, except that some non stick pans look like plain metal, but they aren’t. That can lead one to damage the coating, resulting in God only knows what.

Another area of living, I did not do as well with, but that will work out. Still, there is a degree of honor involved, and that’s what needs to be considered. Health, and nervousness, and any number of other factors could play a role, but the part about maintaining the integrity, keeping the word, that is most important.

It would take very little to convince me I’ve landed on a new planet. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m merely nuts.