Why I Kept My Baby’s Name a Secret Until After He Was Born

When I’m pregnant, my husband and I do not share our top baby name choices with friends or family.

Of course they all will ask (and ask, and ask, AND ASK SOME MORE): “Do you have a baby name picked out yet?”

I will polity reply, “Yes, but I’m not telling” (often said in an I know something you don’t know type teasing voice while giving them a big silly grin.

Why not share something so very important?

Honestly, so many reasons. I could go on and on about the benefits on keep the name secret until after baby is born, but there are a few I feel ranked more important than others.

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1. I really don’t want to know if you hate it. It was your dog’s name. It rhymes with something negative. It’s the same name as that stinky kid you sat next to on the bus in the 2nd grade. When it comes to naming my baby, I understand that not everyone will love my decision. But once the baby has arrived, I dare you to tell me you hate the name I picked.

2. I don’t want you to steal it. Since my husband and I don’t find out if the baby is a boy or a girl until after birth, it means we have to come up with two names, a boy name and a girl name. What if we tell you our girl name, and then we have a boy? If you steal our girl name, we won’t be able to use it down the road, on the chance we ever have a daughter!

3. I know something you don’t know! These days, there are just so few good surprises left. We’re surrounded by instant gratification, and the waiting game often feels torturous. Guess what? I love to torture! I can’t help but admit it’s super fun to keep my friends and family guessing.

4. What if I change our mind? If I tell everyone the baby’s name early on in the pregnancy, it will be weird if I decide to change it last minute. By keeping it a secret, it offers flexibility to change my mind and not look silly.

5. I don’t mean to offend, but it might happen. All my children have special and meaningful middle names, given to them after a parent or grandparent. I would hate for other family members to become unnecessarily hurt of offended that I didn’t name the baby after them. And no, I don’t want feeble attempts to sway my decision to change the middle name, while I’m still pregnant.

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