We were in a Chinese restaurant once ordering dishes for the table. They had sea cucumber on the menu and several of us had never had it. We wanted to order but others at the table didn't feel so adventuresome. Finally after much discussion we decided to get it. The ordering process went something like this.

ME: ...and we'd like an order of the sea cucumber.WAITER: (putting his hands on his hips in skepticism) Are you SURE you want that?ME: (others are now getting nervous) Why do you ask?WAITER: Because most people order it and decide they don't want it.ME: Why? Does it taste bad?WAITER: It tastes just fine. It's just that it's ugly.

He was right it was ugly. As near as I can tell it had no real taste other than the sauce that was on it. It did have what they typically refer to as a wonderful texture.

Those are a tremendously weird species of animal. Like, evolution did them a huge service. Whatever they came from, they haven't changed much for a helluva long time. And they have some fascinating adaptations that really don't exist in any other animals.

It's manner of eating and breathing is only one oddity. But whether you think it's odd or not, it seems to be perfectly normal for them.

Somewhere at Google, there's an admin going "Hey Troy. Look at this data. I wonder why there's a sudden surge of people trying to do an Image Search of Martha Stewart shoving a turkey up her ass from South Park all of a sudden."

I larfed when I read that in TFA, and then again in your post. I swear THIS is the motivation I've needed all along to form my punk thrash metal Norwegian death apocalypse rock band. And Multipurpose Anus will be the name of the band, the name of our first album, the name of the title song of our first album and the entirety of the lyrics of the first song on our first album. Just "Multipurpose Anus" over and over again.

This is almost too wonderful to behold. The phrase is so poetic, and some of the arrangements in the threed are beautiful beyond compare. I've been suffering the Glory of Norovirus these past 3 days, blaoted, groaning, and shiatting my guts out all day long, so it brings particular relief and solace.

Which brings us, naturally, to the question of the sexing. If you get a blowjob from this beast, would it be oral or anal sex. Sure, sodomy either way, to say nothing of the bestial factor so clearly you'd go to hell for the experiment and experience. But it's for science, dammit. Not enough of this knowledge, nossir, so someone needs to engage this horrid, slimy beast in copulations. It'd be cold, too, wouldn't it.