I went to Mumbai for work in 2007 and loved it. We were only there a few days but the sights, sounds, smells and traffic were exhilarating and unforgettable. I nearly missed my flight because of a monumental traffic jam. I thought, if this is what it is like at 10pm, what it’s like during peak hour?

I [attended the dialogue] in Delhi and Hyderabad [where]you share rooms with people from the other country. For the first two nights I shared with Arun Chittilappilly, the managing director of a rapidly growing Indian theme park company which recently floated. Arun had done his master’s in Australia. We went for jogs before breakfast. He was very entrepreneurial and I’ve since introduced a few Aussie start-ups to him. The second delegate I shared with was Ananth Lakshman, a lawyer from the Indian Planning Commission, who was an expert in public-private partnerships, my field of expertise. We were, I guess, comparing and sharing ideas around different challenges in both markets.

We have a very confused sense of our identity as a nation. It skews our politics and our focus. Are we in Asia or not? If so, what does that mean? How do we balance our involvement with China, India or Japan with our relationship with the US? We need leaders, corporate and political, who can develop a narrative around this for the next century. And it can’t just be about iron ore; innovation and talent need to be central to it.

There’s a perception challenge. I don’t think its realistic for an Australian business to arrive in India and say, “I am here, let’s go”. So the AIYD is exceptional in that you are meeting young leaders who are leading projects, who have companies that can form the basis of partnerships. The dialogues help but they are the tip of the iceberg. Programs like the New Colombo Plan, which see our uni students spend time in Asia, are critical.

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There is a tremendous opportunity for Australians to learn from international students who come here to study. If they are postgraduate MBAs they will probably have been sent by their employers; we should be learning as much as we can from them about doing in business in their home country. As unis adopt more and more blended learning, I predict we will see this become an area of focus. Australian businesses should think about how they grab this opportunity. The AIYD was a response by a group of concerned young Australians and Indians to the attacks on the Indian students in Melbourne in 2009 and the media storm that erupted. The Indian media went into overdrive, portraying Australians as racist and Australia as unsafe for Indians. Indian international student numbers fell off a cliff overnight. It did real damage to the relationship, but the attacks were isolated and there was, and remains, great affection for India and Indians. If anything like that happened again, god forbid, the AIYD would speak out against the violence.

In 2007 Premier Wen Jiabao, the then premier of China, had invited one student from every university in Australia to China to meet him and Chinese youth, travel around the country and visit key sites. I was the University of Melbourne representative. A group from that trip recognised we needed to foster Australia-China engagement through young people, and the Australia-China Youth Dialogue was born.

I applied to participate in both the inaugural and second ACYD but was unsuccessful. Third time lucky, I was selected because I was working in water-risk management in Beijing. The following year I was brought in to run the ACYD and I’ve been managing it since. This year will be our sixth dialogue and will be held in Brisbane. We have sponsorship from some of Australia’s largest companies, the federal government through the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade’s Australia-China Council and leading Australian universities.

At the age of 11, I moved to Singapore and attended the Australian International School for seven years – Mandarin was compulsory. Living in Singapore made me feel very connected to China – it was when China was opening up to the world and I recognised my fluency in Mandarin could come in handy one day. I became quite obsessed with the culture after I travelled there with my parents when I was 12 and I’ve been back at least twice a year.

I moved to Beijing to help establish and run Thirst, a China-based water conservation organisation. As manager of strategic development I worked alongside the CEO [Mina Guli, one of The Australian Financial Review and Westpac100 Women of Influence in 2013] and led a large team to engage people in water conservation initiatives in China. From that work I was recognised by the World Economic Forum as a Global Shaper.

An Asia-capable workforce is key to greater engagement. Companies need to take the time to get to know China; understand the nuances of WeChat and Weibo, spend time meeting the right people and making friends. Through the dialogue, we break down barriers through Chatham House rules sessions with experts and when that doesn’t work, karaoke!

The idea with ACYD is that in 20 years’ time, ACYD alumni will be running their countries, largest companies and more successful creative organisations. The ties delegates make during the activities are the spark, but it’s our hope that the fire burns for a long time.

I spent eight months in Jakarta setting up a joint venture between Telstra and Telkom Indonesia. We spent a lot of time with our Indonesian colleagues and their families; it was a one-on-one personal connection. Then the business follows. Before that, I don’t think I appreciated the impact that personal connection and relationships would have.

My involvement in Conference of Australian and Indonesian Youth came off the back of that experience and I attended the conference in Darwin a couple of months ago, along with 15 Australians and 15 Indonesians. Collectively, we have grand ambitions but recognise it must start small with dialogue and collaboration among like-minded individuals to build these bilateral relationships for the future.

We are from broad backgrounds across corporations, government, education, trade, entrepreneurs and creatives. Some are already leaders in their field. Our biggest challenge may be our own perceptions and a fear of the unknown. It’s about taking off our “Western hat”, understanding Asia is not homogeneous, immersing ourselves in the culture and building mutually beneficial partnerships. The business then follows.

We should take every opportunity to learn and experience what our neighbours in Asia have to offer, and vice versa. It needs to be deeply ingrained in everything we do from a young age. We could put a stronger focus on Asian language classes at school, which also includes a cultural component and real connections to Asia, via technology. We have done sessions at schools to encourage dialogue at that level ... and we’re already transferring what we learnt to inspire the next generation.

Fiona Lawrie is sustainability adviser at Wesfarmers; Nicholas Carney is a senior associate at Herbert Smith Freehills; Heather Reed is market strategy and development lead, Global Enterprise and Services, for Telstra.They spoke to Joanne Gray.