Wednesday, December 1, 2010

This, that and thanks.

Hey guys. Happy December. I'm so excited about sharing another Christmas with my little man. Especially since we didn't even think we would get to spend one Christmas with him. I know this time of the year will only get more and more exciting as Tripp gets older. Christmas just has a whole new meaning now- not about the presents (though he will be getting enough of those), but about family, friends, and sacrifce.

Here's a quick little story that I thought was just so amazing. You know how I said that I've been studying the Bible lately with a close family friend? Well, the first story that we discussed and read through was the story of Abraham and Issac, and how God told Abraham to sacrifice his only son- and Abraham did exactly what God asked him to do, and Issac's life was spared because God knew Abraham trusted Him. Remember this story?? Anyway, Patrice (Jonah's Mom) and I finally talked yesterday (we try to have about a 30 minute conversation at least once a month to catch up) and she was telling me about the book she is reading- Satisfy My Thristy Soul, and that this past week in her Bible study, they discussed the story of Abraham and Issac. Um, neat or what?? Coincidence? I think not. God is doing BIG things in us. I just know it. For us to be able to even have a conversation on the phone about possibly losing our sons one day... and be able to keep our composure- just shows how much God is in control and is trying to take control of our lives. I can't speak for Patrice, but this story speaks VOLUMES about my life and the situation that I am in with my only son. Do I trust in God and place Tripp's life in His hands, knowing that He will carry us through? That is my only option. There are no other paths to take. Will it hurt like hell if I lose my only son who is and always will be my entire LIFE- definitely. Will I focus on NOW and not the unknown future- yes.

Today I bought Tripp a mini Christmas tree (2 footer:) and put it right next to the rocking chair, so he could enjoy it. I picked it up from Wal Mart (which by the way- I remember why I despise Wal Mart, now. I love you, Target.) Then came home and fixed it up for him, with rudolph ornaments, lights, and a star on top. He was sleeping the whole time. When I finished, I realized I forgot to pick up his prescription from CVS, so I had to go back out. I begged my mom not to let him wake up before I got back (like she could help it) because I didn't want to miss his expression when he saw it. I guess my point is- I just can't explain how much I love this kid. I've spent almost every second with him for the past 18 months of his life... and I just hate to think that I would miss one smile, or miss him doing a new sign, or miss anything new or fun. I just feel so lucky to be Tripp's Mommy. You're probably tired of me saying that... but it's just so true.

This morning he was up at 5:00 am (which NEVER happens). And he was in rare form- dancing, smiling, and fussing (in a good, rotten kind-of-way). He was flipping all the way over when I was changing his diaper, which he never does. Usually, I would put him back in bed and he would go back to sleep... but we stayed up. And man, I enjoyed that time SO much. I felt like he was a "normal" kid in that few hours- up early, happy, playing. Because lately, I've been having to literally drag him out of bed at 2-3 o'clock in the afternoon because all he wants to do is sleep. I guess he doesn't hurt when he is sleeping. I feel like he has no quality of life. And mornings like this morning are few and far between- but boy am I thankful when I do get them. It makes me take a step back from the step I already took back and be thankful for the GOOD. Because there is always GOOD no matter what.

I'm just feeling extra grateful tonight. There are so many people that have come out of the woodworks- strangers, old friends, close friends- that are contacting me and wanting to help and wanting to spread awareness. I can't say Thank You enough- and as much as I say it... it will still NEVER be enough. But I want all of you to know how much I appreciate the support. I've said it before and I'll say it again and again- We are SO blessed. I love that Tripp is touching lives and making people think twice before they complain about something petty. But you all are also changing my life- by showing me that this world is really full of kind, caring, and SINCERE people. Please- for all those that are saying you want to do something for us--- please know that you are doing more than enough by following our story and by praying for my son. That's all I can ask for. Whether you pray for a miracle, or for a specific thing like his eyes, or you pray for him to be pain-free and EB-free... I think prayer is the most important thing. And I'm pretty sure it's the reason that I'm able to do what I do everyday. The support is overwhelming (in a good way). Hope the rest of your week is great!

17 comments:

my heart is so connected to you guys, because of Bella, and now with her being gone, I feel so blessed to have Tripp and Jonah to pray over...I admire YOUR strength and sweetness, and outlook. There was NO mistake when you were chosen to be Tripp's mommy...

Your faith and positive outlook are so inspiring! So glad the little man had such a great morning, and that you are looking forward to a wonderful family Christmans. Thank you so much for continuing to post and share your heart with everyone.

SO many things I want to change for your family but like you said, focusing on the good, even through the hardships, is so powerful! You talk a lot about quality of his life and just looking at his reaction to your voice in the videos and seeing the experiences he has had through the photos (zoo, birthday party, playing, rocking w/ grammie, etc.) there could never be a doubt that Tripp is feeling true love and joy, which will bring his life so much despite the pain of EB. There is so much to be thankful for and just thinking of them helps me feel so happy for you! I am thankful...-For Tripp being born in this time, where technology and medical advances have helped him reach milestones unimaginable before now.-For Tripp's strength, which I know comes from you, and ability to not only endure EB but to thrive and continue growing and developing-For you being a nurse, and able to care for him in a way most other moms would not.-For your huge support group and the quality they have brought to your lives!-For Tripp's intelligence, his ability to learn signs, understand everything you say, and communicate with you!-For computers, internet, email, and Blogs. These things that a lot of people think have been the breakdown of society and communication have done just the opposite. They have not only enabled you to share Tripp with all of us, but helped you to be connected to others like Patrice whose similar experiences strengthen both of your journeys. -AND most of all, for your powerful, UNCONDITIONAL love for your baby boy which HAS and will continue to bring him the best quality of life imaginable!

OK JUST when I thought I was done I think of MORE! ALSO thankful for:-YOU being able to have the joy of being a professional mom, a stay-at-home-mom, and spend every wonderful second for the last year and a half with Tripp!-Your strong faith and spirituality, which will carry you a long way in this world and the next!-AND, let's be hones, I am thankful for Target, which you can never stop being thankful for after you've been in a WalMart ;)

I love following your blog I will always keep you and Tripp in my prayers. I know some of the things you post are good and sad at times, because of what you and your sweet baby go through.Your such a great person Courtney and god knew exactly what he was doing when he sent you Tripp. And when you say you are so lucky to be his mommy say it all you want because you are I'm in love with your little man and I've never even met him.

I never get tired of hearing how Thankful you are for being Tripp's mama. It's just the sweetest most touching thing. I pray for you guys often and i'm so glad to hear he had a good morning! :D xoxoxo Lin

Courtney, God gave you sweet Tripp because He knew you would be the most special mommy for him. (Sounds cheesy I know, but it's true!) I'm so glad that you cherish every second with him, and that you share those moments with us.

Oh goodness me, *BITING MY KNUCKLES* I just saw the CUTEST video where Tripp opens up the music card with country music and he is SOOOO LOVING IT! He claps along and his sweet face and expressions are sure signs of a quality life indeed!!! I am going to watch that until my face hurts!

Hey Courtney!I loved this post. You never did say...did he like the tree? It's so amazing to be blessed with another Christmas with your sweet angel. I think of you guys all the time. I need to give you a ring. I hope Tripp gets to feeling better soon. Love you! Jennifer

Hi Courtney: Thanks for the update. I am so happy that Tripp is doing so well and able to enjoy another Christmas! I sure hope he loves his tree.Always praying for you guys. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Love you guys. Love and Hugs. Love Leah's Nana

Still praying daily for Tripp. He IS so lucky to have you as you are to have him. I am jumping on Tim Ringgolds campaign to raise money to end EB...not just because of Bella but for Tripp and all the other EB babies.

Who knew that I would become a blog junkie!?! I am hooked on Tripp! He is so precious and I find myself wondering how you are doing and MUST check in to see the latest. Your beauty shines from inside out and we need more people in the world like you Courtney!

I don't think I have ever left a comment on your blog but, I keep up with reading your posts. You are such an amazing lady! I have fallen in love with Tripp. I have 3 girls and they pray for Tripp consistently. He is also on our prayer sheet at church. I think it is amazing that your little man gets prayers from all over this country! I pray that you and your family has an amazing Christmas and that most of all you are drawn closer to our loving Lord.