No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss,No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment,No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary,No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September.

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money,Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately,Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final,Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available,Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultationwith our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced andknowledgeable sales representatives will help you make aselection that's just right for you and just right for your budget.

Actually, it's our way of saying 'Bend over just a little fartherso we can stick this big advertising dick up your ass a little bitdeeper, a little bit deeper, a little bit deeper, you miserableno-good dumbass fucking consumer! '