Derek Jeter is Having a Kid and I’m Pissed

I don’t know if I’m more shocked or upset by this. A healthy combination of both sounds right. First off, it’s sad to think about Derek Jeter being locked down in marriage. The guy has thrown together one of the most impressive dating resumes in the history of manhood. Here it is in case you need a quick reminder.

Pink balloons really ruined my day. If he’s gonna have a kid, at least bring us a Derek Jeter Jr.

We want our kids’ lives to be as “normal” as possible. They’re going to be born into such an extraordinary situation. They’re going to have to be some strong little people. We don’t want them to be defined by their dad’s name — for them, we want him to just be “Dad.” That will be the piece of him they’ll have that the rest of the world doesn’t. It will be special, and it will be theirs.

Yea, good luck with that one Hannah. But congrats to one of the best looking couples on the planet I guess.