Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

Ask the Expert: Your bedwetting questions answered!

Thank you so much to our expert for answering our questions! We are no longer taking questions, but be sure to read through all the answers.

Does your child wet the bed? Does your son or daughter still have daytime accidents? Whether your kid isa regular bedwetter, or just has occasional accidents, we're sure you're eager to learn how to stop it!

We're excited to announce that Renee Mercer will be joining us to answer all your bedwetting questions!

Renee is a pediatric nurse practitioner who specializes in treating children with bedwetting problems. She is author of "Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness: A Practical Guide for Parents of Children with Bedwetting" and owner and founder of Bedwetting Store.

Renee will be in the group from April 9 to 20 to answer your questions.

It's true that bedwetting runs in families so there is a genetic component. You do not have to wait until your son is 7 to address it, however. Pullups are fine for a 5 year old. If you find that he rejects wearing them or is ready for the next step, using a small bedwetting alarm, such as the Malem auditory or Dry-Me, will help him learn how to wake up when the wetting is occurring. Kids often become ready for treatment in first grade or when a sleepover invitation comes up.

Quoting EbEeBe103:

My sons doctor told me it all has to do the parents. If we did it he will do it. My husband and im putting him out there had that problem until he was 7 our son is 5 and it got to a point that we had to buy night time pullups. I was washing way to much. LoL

It is still normal for a 4 year old to wet some nights. Pull ups are fine. Have him urinate immediately before bedtime and take off the pullup immediately when he gets up in the morning. If he is awake for any reason in the nighttime, remind him to urinate at that time. Over the next year or two, you should begin to see some dry pullups. If he has half dry nights, transition to cloth underwear with bed protection. If he is 6 and still wets every night, bedwetting alarms can be helpful.

Quoting robertmommie:

My 4 (turned 4 in March) sometimes pees during the night, so he wears pull ups for bed time. At what age should I consider bed wetting alarms? If it comes to that.

The best resource is www.bedwettingstore.com. There are many styles of effective alarms to choose from and you can enter your son's age in the Alarm Chooser and see what is recommended for him. Bedwetting alarms are not readily available in medical supply stores or pharmacies, which is why this online resource is the best.

Quoting amy7243:

My son is 10 and still wears pull ups...he wets almost nightly. Where do I pick up an alarm? The doctor says he will out grow but....

Desmopressin is a safe medication that works by decreasing the amount ot urine produced in the 12 hours after it is taken. It works in about 50% of the kids to help them have a dry night when it is taken immediately before bed. As your doctor mentioned, it provides no long lasting benefit and your child will wet on the nights he doesn't take it. It can be taken sporatically and can be helpful for special occasions, such as camp or sleepovers. I recommend using a bed wetting alarm to provide a long lasting cure for your son. Even though it is more work in the first few weeks, learning the ability to wake up to a full bladder is a life long behavior that your son will have mastered.

Quoting Momforhealth:

My child's dr. gave us a perscription for bed wetting. (mimics the hormone) How safe is this medication? I am not giving it. He admitted that bedwetting is just nusiance and it will continue again once my child stops taking it. I am just curious what your opinion is.

My son is 4.5 yo and has been day trained since he was 21 months old but he still pees the bed at night. Multiple times a night. We have chosen to just put him in a diaper at night to hold all of the pee. He does not drink a ton before bed and we always make him go pee as part of his bedtime routine. I have tried waking him up around midnight to go pee but he freaks out and won't go and then he cries from being woken up. I just want hope that someday he will night train LOL

As you have found, every child's motivation is different. There may be a situation in the future, such as a missed sleepover or recognizing that other girls her age are dry, that will be her motivation. Until then, offer pullups or at least washable waterproof pads on top of her sheet to decrease you laundry burden. Make sure she has plenty to drink during the day, including a water bottle at school, so she isn't as thirsty late in the day. Have a star chart for bedtime activities: to include brushing teeth, using toilet, getting backpack ready, etc. Not doing one of these things does not earn a star. As far as laundry, I don't think the struggle you're describing will help her become dry so I would back off of that. Learning to help with household tasks is good if you're expecting your other children to help with their sheets, too. If you're singling her out, she may view that as punishment.

Let her know when she is ready to get to dryness, you will be there to help. Then I would recommend a bedwetting alarm as a tool to help her learn the new behavior of getting up to urinate.

Quoting jento1:

My question is....how can you help a child stop if she isnt even motivated to do so? My daughter is 7 and wets the bed EVERY single night no matter what I try or dont try. Our rule here is that she needs to go potty before bed or at least try to go potty but she flat out refuses to even try. I have to fight with her over something as easy as going potty!! I have to watch her like a hawk because she will sneak drinks past 6:30 which will make her not only wet the bed but flood it. She wont help me in the morning with her sheets ant bedding (I was advised to have her start helping me in the morning to make her reaponsible for it, but not as a punishment) but, she will fight me tooth and nail and wont even attempt to help. Fighting with her first thing in the morning is not fun at all. So, my question is...if she isnt the least bit motivated to even want to stop or help herself stop for that matter, what can I do if anything to try to help?? All my efforts wont do anything if she wont make the effort. I am tired of fighting and arguing with her over the simple task of going potty. HELP!!!

Using a diaper at night is fine for his age. As he gets older and his bladder can hold more urine at once, you may notice him wetting less frequently and sleeping dry all night.

Quoting MisanthropKitty:

My son is 4.5 yo and has been day trained since he was 21 months old but he still pees the bed at night. Multiple times a night. We have chosen to just put him in a diaper at night to hold all of the pee. He does not drink a ton before bed and we always make him go pee as part of his bedtime routine. I have tried waking him up around midnight to go pee but he freaks out and won't go and then he cries from being woken up. I just want hope that someday he will night train LOL

It sounds like you have ruled out urinary tract infections or diabetes. How about constipation? A full bowel will sometimes not allow the kids to sense the messages that come from a full bladder. If this is not a problem, I would try a timed voiding program. She would wear a vibratory wrist watch with pre-set voiding times, about every 2 hours. When the watch vibrates, she should immediately use the bathroom, even if she does not feel that she needs to go. This prevents her bladder from becoming overful, leaking and allowing her to ignore the feeling. If this is not effective, a visit to a pediatric urologist might be warranted. Here is a link to vibratory watches. http://bedwettingstore.com/vibrating-watches.html

Quoting Kayser3207:

My 6 year old has been potty trained for years. Never had an accident. Now all of a sudden she's having several accidents a day. Doctor told me she was healthy and I've asked on many occasions if something was bothering her. There haven't been any changes at all to our family or routine, so I cannot understand why she's wetting herself all the time. What do I do?

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.