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One purpose of this blog is to share the lessons I have learned on my journey interacting with toxic people, and setting boundaries. I'm in a constant state of learning. From time to time I may make reference to therapies, Bible studies, or professional help I have received. I am not a psychological, psychiatric or medical practitioner, therefore any opinions I share are my own and should not be construed as professional advice but for educational purposes only. The views and opinions expressed in the articles are those of the author and do not
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Lynn Messer case history

This is where you’ll find many of the past articles I’ve written about Lynn Messer. They are listed by title and dated from recent to earliest.

March 28, 2018, Lynn Messer family history

Two and a half years ago I reached out to the Messer brothers through social media and explained to them who I am, why I blog, what my background is, and that I wrote a blog post about their mom’s disappearance.

I told them if they wanted to share anything with my readers I would be honored to listen, and to be a voice for their mom. I assured them that I understood if they didn’t have the time, energy, or interest to schedule this in their lives right now.

They both kindly replied.

Today I’m reposting some of the memories Abram has and things he thinks as he looks at the past and present. Here is a portion of Abram Messer’s reply from July 2016, “I’ve been thinking about reaching out to you to not only thank you for your piece, but to see if you would be interested in talking to me. One of the many issues that I struggle with having grown up in a home where destructive ideology was normal is my desire to break, (I pray permanently) the sin cycle and demonstrate a Biblical example for my children to see. I would love to share more of our story with you. Thank you for following the prompting of the Holy Spirit to reach out to me.”

According to Abram Messer, and confirmed with the Ste Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office, Kerry Messer, was no longer cooperating with the investigation and hadn’t been since 2015. And with this, I can tell you that Abram had been doing what no child, no matter what age, could ever imagine having to do. He had been assisting in an investigation that had questions about his dad, due to the disappearance of his mom.

During my conversation with Abram, he conveyed his appreciation and trust in the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office. He explained they have, and continue to do a terrific job. He equally included the hours of interviews, over the last two years, they conducted with him. Abram mentioned how investigators stepped inside his head and pulled out information he wouldn’t have thought of on his own. He reflected that if the authorities need another 9 hour interview from his head he will give it every day. Abram has complete faith in their ability because they want to come to the truth. So if you have heard by word of mouth, or read in other news outlets, that the investigators aren’t doing their job it simply isn’t true.

*Disclaimer: There have been no arrests made in the disappearance of Lynn Messer. Kerry Messer remains innocent of any charges. I am not claiming a diagnosis or guilt; but simply pointing out concerns. See disclaimer in the margin.

I will walk you through a bit of Messer family history according to Lynn and Kerry’s son, Abram. While talking to Abram, I could have literally finished some of his sentences for him because I think I understand what he lived through growing up and I understand some of the mind-set I hear and read about his father.

I’ve often wondered why people are easily hoodwinked by the possibility of dual personality individuals. I wonder if it’s from having a good heart that’s always looking for the best in people; because who goes around looking for evil. We tend to believe what we see. If we were at the theatre watching a play we would expect to see grand acting, but we don’t anticipate seeing it in the office, at church, at school, at the store, or standing in the driveway talking to a neighbor.

If you think it was easy for Abram to recall this history, I can tell you it wasn’t. There were a few times I thought our phone call had disconnected, but no, he needed time to process what he wanted to say. He loves his mom. He loves his dad. He wants to help other families, other women, and other victimizers recognize abuse before it’s too late. He speculated that recent events have changed how he views his relationship with his wife and children. He believes human nature will do one of two things.

Repeat the Cycle

Go to the opposite extreme

We both agreed that there is a better option. Stop holding any person to a standard you want to achieve, or a low you want to avoid. Our standard is Jesus. If His heart, mind, way and will is what we chase after we will always be progressing in a good and healthy direction.

Survivors and witnesses share their stories because it could be the key that leads to freedom for other victims. Abram was clear on his objectives for speaking out about his family life and his mom’s disappearance.

Abram thought for a long time his father lived two lives. Kerry seemed different at home than he was at church or anywhere else. Out of curiosity I asked, “How old were you when you came to this realization?”

Abram didn’t have to think about the answer, he knew it, “Between 10 and 12 years old.”

I asked because 10-12 seems to be a common age when children become aware of abusive or mentally unstable parents. Children often wonder if something is wrong sooner, but that tends to be the age when they know, and can understand it and verbalize it.

Abram conveyed that he grew up having a dread of daddy coming home from work; just knowing he would come home from work caused anxiety because he knew dad only cared about work. When at friends’ homes he envied the kids’ excitement when their daddy arrived home from work. They would excitedly run to the window waiting for their father to walk through the door to great them.

The term, “Ma” that Kerry uses in his Facebook posts on the, “Find Lynn Messer” page originated when the boys were around 14-15 years old. The term came from the Ma and Pa Kettle films. Lynn never liked the term, and requested that Kerry not use it but he chose not to respect her wish. Abram didn’t use the term; to his knowledge, thinks only Kerry used it.

A point that has stuck in many minds is how dependable Lynn was for commitments she made; such as VBS (Vacation Bible School). Lynn spent months preparing for the church VBS program every year. On Monday, July 7, 2014, Lynn went to Wal-Mart and purchased supplies for the Tuesday VBS program. She was prepared. She was excited. She was scheduled to participate the next day; Tuesday, July 8, 2014, but Lynn was a no-show to VBS.

In 1984 Kerry began working for Missouri Family Network as a lobbyist for pro-life, family and homeschool causes. M.F.N. was one of a few small organizations that worked across the gamut on these issues. Kerry has quietly encouraged M.F.N. supporters to write the checks in his name, Kerry Messer. I’ve talked to other individuals who remember this as well.

Abram told about his dad’s decision to drive older used vehicles. There came a time about three years ago when a married couple from their church became burdened for Kerry because he didn’t have a dependable car to drive back and forth to Jefferson City. This sweet and caring couple went to friends and quietly fundraised. They happily sacrificed, knowing the Messers didn’t have money for another vehicle, and bought Lynn and Kerry a new car that would be dependable for work and family life. Weren’t they wonderful friends? Yes! But guess what? According to Abram, his dad didn’t want to drive the new car, especially not to Jefferson City, because donors wouldn’t want to give financial gifts to him if they thought he had enough money to purchase such a nice looking new car. Thus, his decision to stick with older models that looked the part of poor, financially needy lobbyist. I wondered what became of the car. Abram said his mom was in an accident with that car and it was totaled.

A man who couldn’t afford a dependable car and yet has accumulated a reported two and a half million dollars in assets while family members think he managed to keep it completely hidden from Lynn.

Abram mentioned overriding character questions he had about his dad.

It seemed there was one way to do everything; and it was his dad’s way?

Took an excessively long time deciding how to complete tasks with perfection being the goal; making it difficult to begin the task?

Didn’t like to involve others in completing projects or work tasks?

Money was hidden and hoarded?

Had a deep need to control everything and everyone around him?

Held a strong belief that husbands are to dominate their wives?

Dishonest, fraudulent, duplicitous personality. Changed according to his audience?

Took advantage of others to get what he wanted?

Lacked empathy; was willing to lie about his own kids to save himself?

Life was about him?

Didn’t bond with people?

Abram revealed that Lynn did suffer physical abuse at the hands of his father. Although Kerry took the time on the 11/22/2014 Facebook post to expand on his beliefs of women not violating the secrecy of marriage; specifically of his, “Bride” being wise to guard herself on what she shares about her husband with other women. She wisely did just the opposite! Kerry went on to post, “There are things husbands and wives know that no one should ever be told. The home is a place where virtually every social taboo no longer applies. The home is where we all get to relax and drop all our guards (and dog gone it, everyone has gas – get over it). But you still don’t talk about many things in ways that violate your mate. And the list of such topics can get long. A little discretion affirms a lot of love!”

Thankfully, Lynn, had shared with some women about the abuse she suffered in the home; abuse from Kerry, because social taboos are wrong for a reason. These women have reportedly fully cooperated with investigators and presented the truth that Lynn has not been able to offer in person.

I often say, if a woman is strong enough to stay; she is strong enough to leave.

Did Lynn finally realize her husband was not capable of change and decided to adjust her life? Did she fail to realize he was willing to keep toxic control with any means necessary?

If you believe your life may be in jeopardy; please listen to me as I gently, but firmly, tell you, “Leave immediately.” Go to the authorities. Go to Domestic Violence. Go to a counselor. Document the abuse in every way possible. See: It is Real You are Write. If you plan on confronting your abuser about his toxic ways it is best to do it in the company of a witness or witnesses. See Toxic Intervention. Scroll down the left margin of this blog for, “Articles: Other Sources” and “Solutions-Hotlines-Help.”

I will leave you with this quote from Abram,

“To know in the middle, of not knowing what happened, that God did not wake up the morning of July 8, 2014, and say, ‘Wow, I didn’t see this coming!’ I know he will use all this to our benefit; to change us, to mold us…there is some solace to that.”

*Disclaimer: The above thoughts and memories do not come from me. These are someone else’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the ideas or opinions of this website. I am committed to publishing works of integrity. In that spirit, The testimony presented in this letter does not constitute legal facts, a guarantee, or a prediction regarding the outcome of advice given, or of future events.

January 31, 2018, Lynn Messer case update January 2018

Lynn Messer disappeared July 8, 2014. We now know that Lynn has been deceased the entire time and I have been told by law enforcement multiple times that Kerry Messer, her husband, has not been cleared in the investigation surrounding Lynn’s death. Kerry is a Missouri state lobbyist who represents family, homeschooling, right-to-life, gun rights/safety, and Christian/Biblical values. Lynn’s remains were found on her husband’s farm property November 1, 2016.

Within the first days of Lynn’s disappearance the entire farm acreage was mapped out. The land was searched with GPS tracking equipment in the daylight and in the dark by search and rescue teams. It was also explored by professionally trained dogs who should have picked up the scent of the remains; especially in the hot July and August heat. All structures were checked. Results were recorded on a grid to show the areas had been thoroughly searched.

There hasn’t been an arrest in the case, or anything in the news to indicate the case is still ongoing. If Lynn committed suicide I can’t imagine why law enforcement has maintained such secrecy. If law enforcement suspects or knows foul play was involved I think we can safely assume an arrest could still take place. The question remains; if so, who did it and how did it happen? So…I placed a call to Detective White to ask more questions.

I have asked many questions over the last year and a half, but due to the integrity of the case detectives can’t answer most of the questions. I’m fine with that since I understand cases like this can take years to bring about an arrest should it turn out that foul play was involved. Months can drag into years awaiting a trial. After a guilty verdict it takes further weeks or months until sentencing. Lastly, in some instances it can take several more weeks for the prisoner to transfer from the county jail to the prison intake system where, for a few weeks, the prisoner goes through admissions and orientation. This process includes a review of the sentencing/violation/detainment paperwork for all admissions. The inmate is searched and an inventory is done of their property. An initial medical, dental, and mental health screening is conducted; photos are taken, fingerprinting is done and a DNA sample is taken for those who have not previously provided a sample. An interview is also conducted to collect personal and background information and a series of risk and needs assessments are completed during A & O. After all this takes place the convict is transferred to the prison facility which will be their permanent home for their time to be served.

This time when I talked to Detective White he said he is no longer giving press interviews or answering questions surrounding the case. The only questions he did answer were these:

Q: Is the case still open?

A: Yes.

Q: Is Kinsky, the current prosecuting attorney, still stepping down this year?

A: Yes.

Q: I can’t find information stating anyone has filed to run for prosecuting attorney in Ste. Genevieve County. The filing deadline, according to the Missouri Ethics Commission, is March 27, 2018. Do you know if someone plans on filing to run for P.A.?

Q: As I’ve read through Kerry’s ‘Find Lynn Messer’ Facebook posts I’ve had many questions and concerns; as have Lynn’s friends and family. I think there are numerous holes and inconsistencies in his story. Lynn’s family thinks much of the writing is fabricated. It caused me to wonder if a forensics psychologist/F.B.I. profiler has been reading the posts. Has any such person read his posts?

A: I can’t answer that other than to say the F.B.I. has been involved in different aspects of the investigation.

Q: Kerry said in a radio interview with Harold Hendrick that the night Lynn disappeared, she “was sitting on the bed cutting slots in water bottles” for a VBS craft the next day at their church. Were the bottles found by the bed?

A: I can’t discuss the scene.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

People continue to contact me with behaviors they witness, conversations they have, and text messages they receive from Kerry which they think are odd. The most recent contact was yesterday regarding Kerry requesting help from his friends. “Would you be okay to help me get the word out so I can start to rebuild marketing beef? This was one of Lynn’s functions and I am finally ready to move forward in this area again but do not have her network. Please let me know if you could forward the following via email, social media, or whatever…Thank you, Kerry Messer”

He went on to list the prices for beef along with his phone number.

Considering his history my sources wonder if he plans on reporting his earnings, or if he will consider them gifts like he did with some of the money he collected in the past for his organization Missouri Family Network.

Sources have said they’ve noticed a couple of differences at Kerry Messer’s house. The big red mailbox with the address on it is gone; including the post on which it sat, and the numbers on the gate for identifying the property are gone. I can’t help but wonder if Kerry Messer is living in a mental prison of paranoia of what next, or when will this end.

It has already been established that Kerry and Spring Thomas were in a relationship within weeks of Lynn disappearing. Although Kerry and Spring deny anything other than friendship, law enforcement confirmed to me, multiple times, otherwise. This has also been reported by various news outlets and confirmed by Kerry and Lynn’s sons.

The writer of the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page allows me opportunity to educate my readers on how there are multiple ways to look at a person. For teaching purposes the page can be taken at face value (true), or as an alternate reality (made up stories) or possibly coming from an unstable and/or criminal mind. Kerry Messer is a public figure which makes this a public interest case since he fund raises from the citizens of Missouri to provide for his professional and personal finances through his organization Missouri Family Network. People want to make informed decisions on how and where to spend their money. Lynn Messer’s sons and extended family continue to point out what they think are moral and ethical issues which they have witnessed by Kerry Messer. I do not write these posts or publish letters as a professional in any field of expertise, but rather to educate my readers from the life experiences through which I have lived. See the disclaimer in the side margin. I simply raise questions so we can consider different viewpoints.

November 1, 2017, 1 year since Lynn Messer’s remains found

Today, November 1, 2017, marks one year from the day of Lynn Messer’s remains being found on her husband’s farm property. Property that had been searched with GPS tracking equipment in the daylight and in the dark. It had also been searched by professionally trained dogs who would have picked up the scent of the remains; especially in the hot July and August heat.

Lynn Messer, disappeared July 8, 2014. We now know that Lynn has been deceased the entire time and I have been told by law enforcement that Kerry Messer, her husband, has not been cleared in the investigation surrounding Lynn’s death. Kerry is a Missouri state lobbyist who represents family, homeschooling, right-to-life, gun safety, and Christian/Biblical values.

As a courtesy to Lynn’s church I want to update my readers that I’ve been told Kerry no longer attends FBC FCC and hasn’t since the weekend the scheduled memorial service was cancelled.

In the spirit of keeping this case in the public’s eye and in honor of Lynn’s memory, I asked her sons Aarron and Abram questions about their mom, and the ongoing investigation.

Q: What has your favorite memory of your mom been since knowing for the last year that she is now in heaven and has been the entire 3+ years?

Aarron: I remember seeing my mom sing along throughout the house to Ray Boltz’ song Thank You, while watching the tears swell in her eyes picturing all the people she impacted throughout her life greeting her in heaven.

Abram: So many things I could say in response to that. But more than a specific memory I remember what she taught me. She taught me how to laugh, how to love and taught me to pursue Jesus Christ. I am who I am today because of her guidance, love and passion for Christ.

Elizabeth (Abram’s wife): My very favorite memory of Lynn would involve cooking. We would spend days in the kitchen just cooking and laughing. We would set aside a day every December to do nothing but make cookies and fudge. All 7 grand kids lined up decorating and tasting cookies. Christmas music on the old radio. The house full of excitement, warmth, and love. The house would smell of cookies and the wood burning stove. Every table and counter top would be piled with big beautiful Christmas cookies that were equally tasty. I never remember Lynn burning a single cookie. They always turned out perfect. Lynn would often take cookies to neighbors, and send the grand kids home with enough cookies to last the entire Christmas season. (Below: First 2 pages of a hand written cookbook from Lynn to Elizabeth.)

Q: Do you have something she said to you that often replays in your mind?

Q: Is there something she said to you that has left you wondering if she was trying to tell you something was wrong in the home?

Aarron: Before she disappeared there was an evening. I had just been divorced in September of the year before and I had been spending a lot of time with my new girlfriend. My mom called me stressed—worried about me. I invited her and my dad to come over but we were making dinner at my girlfriends’ home; therefore, my dad wouldn’t come but my mom drove to Pevely at 9 PM and just talked. It was like she was watching us; as if my mom had felt I needed her and she was seeing that despite the stresses in my life I wasn’t falling apart. I was happy and going forward in life and it was like watching her realize I didn’t need her. I have relived that evening a hundred times over in my head wondering what she was thinking. She was so quiet. Penny (my girlfriend) and I have talked about how strange mom acted that evening. It was like she wanted to say something to us but she didn’t——she was so quiet. We both, even then, wondered what it was and ever since we have wondered what was on her mind. Did she want to tell us about Spring? Was she afraid to say something?

Abram: Lots of things. The stress of knowing that my father was on his way home, the way she phrased things always trying to make excuses and explain away my father’s behavior—and the way she tried to love us enough to make up for his narcissistic behavior.

Q: Are you confident the case will be solved?

Aarron: Her cause of death is unknown… How solved is that? I have heard that my dad has told people my mom’s death was a suicide. But the toxicology report showed no drugs, there was no weapon found with her. How did she die? If she killed herself there would be a weapon, or a drug in her system. She wasn’t dying on her own; how did she die? There wasn’t any of those things. She didn’t die of natural causes, so as we can see her body was clearly dumped in the woods. Detectives are clear; my dad moved her body. If he would just be honest maybe this will be solved. I am just waiting for the day when he breaks and tells the truth.

Abram: Over the last three years God has impressed upon me repeatedly throughout His Word how much He loves justice. The Hand of God is not slacked, He will in His perfect timing see justice prevail. Even should His timing be not on this earth, I will not give up. I will not quit, and I will not give up on my God’s incredible ability to take our darkest hours and illuminate them with His glorious light. I know that He will take this nightmare and use it in powerful and mighty ways to allow us to both minister to others who are struggling as well as allowing us to see His powerful sustaining hands. I know this because I already can see how He has moved in our midst in amazing ways.

“Hope thou in God.” I am confident that the case will be solved because my hope is in God, not man.

Q: Did you have an ah-ha moment when you discerned that your mom may not have disappeared of her own free will?

Aarron: There honestly was never a moment where I thought she left on her own. From the first moment I knew she was gone nothing made sense. Knowing that her body was moved and that my father has been lying, manipulating, and covering up where she was…it was the first thing/answer that made sense.

Abram: For me it was a slow realization of facts that I knew, and watching my father’s behavior. The truth became clearer and clearer as the days turned into weeks and months. This realization finally became undeniable. Then it was a matter of being honest with myself. Was I unwilling to accept what I was seeing with my own eyes, and hearing with my own ears? I wasn’t dependent on a third-party to tell me what they heard, and none of my thoughts or opinions are based on what other people told me. I came to these conclusions because I lived it. The truth doesn’t change because we don’t like it, nor does it change because it is hard for us to accept. Several of these facts were staring at me from the beginning,

Q: Likewise, did you have a time when you thought you pin-pointed a specific person having knowledge to the truth of what happened to your mom?

Aarron: When I confronted my dad about his relationship with Spring Thomas it became incredibly clear that he was hiding information about what happened to Mom.

Abram: Absolutely. When I watched my father interact with law enforcement, telling them that he was not going to search for my mom. That was a turning point for me in my pursuit of the truth.

Q: In hind sight, is there one thing that sticks out in your mind that you wish you could change, or had done differently, in the investigation?

Aarron: That morning when she disappeared—I wish I had never let my dad out of my sight when he drove off the farm. I wish I had never left the farm when he told me to leave.

Abram: The cows. Not so much in the investigation, but the fact that I was manipulated into covering a scent trail… and the many ways we have been twisted and used as pawns in someone else’s sick demented game will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Q: When is the last time you had contact with your dad?

Aarron: Ironically yesterday (Saturday). A few weeks ago he left a note on my door demanding an increase in the rent I pay him; from $450 a month to $650. I wrote him back attempting to negotiate. He won’t respond of course. I asked if he could give me a year lease since he has insisted that my rent be month to month. Then the hot water heater in the apartment went out; I fixed it. Then the sewer backed up into the apartment. I texted him several times asking about the sewer trying to get it fixed but he wouldn’t respond. Then he did respond; acknowledging that there was a septic tank somewhere in the backyard. He couldn’t tell me where, but that he buried a soda can on top of it so I can use a metal detector to find it. Not the highlight though; no! Saturday was opening day of youth firearm season so my daughter and I were hunting on the farm. Dad and Spring each drove past us in our stand on his four wheelers; then they moved the cows into the field in front of us where we were hunting. After 10-20 minutes of driving around the field he drove up to us and said the cows will be here til Tuesday. So we packed up and started walking to another field to set up again to hunt. He followed us while we walked a half mile across the farm. After we setup again he pulled up and told me I couldn’t go to the back field because he had sold hunting rights on the farm to someone else and we aren’t allowed to be there. This is the field directly above where I found my mother’s remains. So here on that anniversary of finding her body I am not allowed to go back to where her body was. UPDATE 10/31/2017: Just got home earlier; Dad finally responded. I have to move before December 1st as he doesn’t want me on the farm. He also said the kids cannot go hunting on the farm.

Abram: The last contact I have had with my father (outside of seeing him in the courtroom dealing with our protection order against him), was in May of 2015.

Q: Has the pastor from First Baptist Church Festus Crystal City attempted to contact you since cancelling the memorial service your dad attempted to hold at the church?

Aarron: No, no one from FBC FCC contacted me before the scheduling of the memorial service even telling us that it was scheduled or after it was cancelled. The only time I was contacted by his pastor was when the pastor was upset that the deacons from the church had read my Facebook posts and had asked him about the things I said. He asked to meet with me to tell me never to talk about his church again. Several of the deacons came to me later…apologizing and trying to get to the truth. I have had them call me once since just to let me know they are still looking for the truth. No one from the staff has spoken to me since.

Abram: Dr. McLain has made no attempts or offers of any kind to contact us. It is heartbreaking to know that the church leadership does not care to be obedient to the Word of God, either in their dealings with us or my father.

Q: As far as you know, has your dad married Spring Thomas?

Aarron: Not that I know of although they spend most their time together.

Abram: To my knowledge he has not. But I would not be surprised if he had a secret wedding without a marriage certificate. Very little of his behavior surprises me at this point. I do know that their relationship is still on going.

Q: I had a message left on my blog about your dad attempting to organize a search party to walk the roads near Spring’s house and to search her property in the early days of the investigation. Do your recall this request? Did volunteers ever do it?

Aarron: A search was coordinated to search along the roads from the farm toward Spring’s farm. I actually went on that search. We met at McDonalds in House Springs and drove up Hwy W from MM and 30 towards Eureka. I rode with Spring in her car and we stopped in every driveway, talked to every person we saw, and knocked on every door on W. A woman described someone looking very similar to Mom that had been walking along the road; even had two people describe someone who looked very much like Mom. We gathered their info and passed it along to detectives but it was an empty lead. No one ever searched Spring’s farm. That was the only search associated with Spring’s farm. It was nowhere near her farm but merely along a highway in the middle of nowhere.

Abram: I became aware that a request to that end had been made late in 2015, well after it had supposedly transpired. If it was in fact done, it was deliberately done without my knowledge and certainly without my cooperation. I have no idea if it was actually done or not. I do find it very interesting that my father would have potentially searched Spring’s property, while refusing to search his own.

Q: Aarron, on another social media forum it was mentioned that Kerry suggested to you where you and your daughters should scout for deer hunting and it was the part of the property where your mom’s remains were located. Is this true?

Aarron: Detectives asked me about that. My dad and I had talked about hunting—where to hunt that season, but my dad did not tell me where to go or suggest anywhere to go. In retrospect he actually had indicated he thought we should go somewhere else and I told him I wanted to go up by the water gap. He made the comment that no one has been back there for years. But no, he had no idea exactly where I was going and didn’t suggest we should go anywhere near her remains. One truly frightening thing is that her body was on the hill-side that I have personally seen them take dead or dying cows that were sick and push them off into the woods to rot.

Q: At this point, has your dad attempted to make sure you receive some of your mom’s belongings?

Aarron: My father has explicitly told me that I am not allowed to enter his home under any circumstance. I have asked to read my mom’s journals and have yet to get a response from him. He invited my ex-wife over to the house to go through my mother’s things and take whatever she wanted, but I have received no invitation to even look at anything of my mothers. In fact, he has given away many of her things—even saying on Facebook that he was getting rid of those items; without asking me a thing.

Abram: No he has not, and in fact quilts that my mom made for us seemed to have disappeared just as mysteriously as she did. Our wedding quilt, the quilt she made me in high school, and all but one of my children’s quilts she made them were taken from us. We knew that my father had taken them, but then we confirmed it when we discovered a photo my father posted on FB with my son’s quilt in the back ground. He was using it as a prop to garner sympathy at an event. It serves as a reminder to his double minded nature. The way he pretends to be this suffering, loving husband and father when in reality he stole my son’s precious link to his grandmother that he has had since birth.

Q: A young man who rents a duplex from your dad in Jefferson City left a comment on a social network forum that your mom’s death was an accident. He implied that Kerry had confided in him information about his (Kerry’s) family problems regarding Abram specifically, and your mom’s death? Has anyone else told you your mom’s death was an accident?

Aarron: The only one who has said that is my dad.

Abram: This new story that we heard about certainly wasn’t the first time he has told a completely new version of events. This is what happens when you lie. It gets harder and harder to define the truth. My father has sadly told so many different lies to so many people he can’t seem to keep his stories straight. Sin builds on itself. When we embrace it, wallow in it, and make it our own personal reality it will eat our soul like cancer. God Himself has pledged that the things done in darkness WILL be brought to the light. If anything I hope that people will take seriously seeing the consequences of sin. What it can do to you, your family and everyone you know.

Q: Did you see the inside of your parent’s house the morning you were told your mom disappeared? Did you see the bedroom? If so, is there anything you wish you had thought of, or realized, that morning when your were looking through the house?

Aarron: The day she disappeared, when my dad drove off, I searched through the entire house looking for my mom. There are two bedrooms that my parents slept in. They were sleeping in the bedroom on the ground floor at the time because of my mom’s hip, as opposed to their upstairs bedroom. There was absolutely nothing that I thought to look for because I had no idea to look for anything; I was searching for her.

Abram: No, I did not go into their house that morning. When I arrived at their house the morning of the 8th, I drove the 4 wheeler out in the barn lot to meet my father. He of course was absolutely irate the Aarron had called the sheriff’s department, and demanded that I leave, after he became more agitated I finally left. A short while later, when I returned the detectives where already in their house, and I was asked to remain outside while they where doing the initial processing of the scene.

Q: According to my sources:

1) Spring Thomas has said that your parents were at her house, together, a few days before your mom disappeared.

2) Your dad has told people he hadn’t been to Spring’s house for a month before your mom disappeared.

3) A family friend saw your mom, alone, in St. Louis a few days before she disappeared and your mom mentioned she was on her way to Spring’s house to pay her a visit.

These accounts are all different. What do you know about this?

Aarron: I don’t know anything more.

Abram: One of the very telling things throughout the investigation has been the constantly changing and evolving timeline, events and stories as conveyed by my father. I have personally heard my father say that it had been weeks since he was last at Spring’s house, and my mother was with him. But I also know that my mom went to see Spring days before she her death. I have no idea what Spring may or may not have said about these encounters. I know she is still refusing to cooperate with the investigation as well.

Q: I’ve received many comments and questions about the airing of Discovery Channel’s show; Disappeared. People want to know if the portrayal of you was accurate? Abram, was there more to your dad knocking on your door early that morning than what the show disclosed?

Abram: For the most part I think they did a very good job in portraying the overall scenario. There are many things that I could be critical of, mostly the argument that I had with my mom was exaggerated and overdone. I would have liked it if they had talked about how we passed the CVSA lie detection tests, and to date my father has not been able to pass any of the lie detection tests that he has taken. However, I have had personal contact with most of the actors on the show and I know that the director took an “artistic license” with many things. In several follow-up conversations the producers asked for clarifications about several scenes, and even did some editing to make the performances more authentic. So I feel that the freedom that they took to make certain aspects more interesting was a trade-off that I was willing to make in exchange for our attempts to raise awareness and prayerfully to get help in searching for my mother.

As to the morning of, I was much more confused and befuddled than my depiction on the show. 4:15 a.m. that morning I think my father had to find out if I had seen or heard anything that had happened. He HAD to know if I knew anything. The only way for him to know that was to show up. Another thought we’ve had is that we had installed a new chain lock on the door that he didn’t know about. He thought he could walk right in. The chain was latched which means the door was locked. He did not start yelling my name til after the chain caught and woke up the dogs. He could have been sneaking in and the chain caught him off guard. The question then would be why was he sneaking? What were his intentions?

Q: The fact that there are different pastures for the cows indicates there must be fences and gates on the property. Would these have presented any problems for your mom if…she were to walk around the property in the darkness, in a thunderstorm, with bad hips walking on uneven ground, carrying a pillow (possibly more) on her way to where she was found?

Abram: Yes. There are multiple electric fences all over the property with gates that have to be opened for passageway. My wife who doesn’t have my mom’s health problems, and is taller than my mom with larger hands has difficulty opening and closing these gates with the strength of two hands in the daylight. Add to that, Mom would have been carrying a pillow, wearing no shoes through a blackberry patch, in the dark, in the rain and thunderstorm. She would have had to open and close multiple electric fence gates regardless of which way she walked…if she walked…which we don’t believe she did.

**DISCLAIMER: ALL OF MY OPINIONS COME FROM RESEARCH, PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, AND DISCUSSIONS I MAY HAVE HAD WITH PROFESSIONALS. I RECEIVE NO MONETARY BENEFITS AND HOLD NO RESPONSIBILITY BY SHARING THE INFORMATION ASSOCIATED WITH THIS PAGE AND ITS CONTENTS. THE INFORMATION HEREIN IS NOT INTENDED AS A FORM OF DIAGNOSIS, TREATMENT, VERDICT, LEGAL ADVISE, OR A PREDICTION REGARDING AN OUTCOME OF AN INVESTIGATION. The answers to the above questions were written in their entirety by Lynn Messer’s sons. These are their memories, opinions, and accounts of interactions and conversations told from their viewpoints. I am committed to publishing works of integrity. In that spirit, I offer these questions and answers to my readers.

October 27, 2017, Find Lynn Messer Commentary

The following is for educational purposes only. I am not a professional. I write to help bring awareness for those who may be interacting with duplicitous individuals. As the conversation about destructive marriages continues to grow in the mainstream and within the church, we are provided with excellent opportunities to have much needed discussions. It’s my belief that if we seize the opportunities to tell our stories and discuss topics like this on a greater scale, we will begin to change the tides.

I’m not saying anyone in this article has been proven to be double-minded or guilty of a crime; they haven’t.

I seek only to help my readers recognize the possibility of such people existing, because it may occur with someone they know or with whom they interact.

The writer of the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page allows me opportunity to educate my readers on how there are two ways to look at a person. For teaching purposes the page can be taken at face value (completely true), or as an alternate reality (made up stories) or possibly coming from an unstable and/or criminal mind. Kerry Messer is a public figure which makes this a public interest case since he fund raises from the citizens of Missouri to provide for his professional and personal finances through his organization Missouri Family Network. Lynn Messer’s sons and extended family continue to point out moral and ethical issues they have witnessed by Kerry Messer. I do not write these posts or publish letters as a professional in any field of expertise, but rather to educate my readers from the life experiences through which I have lived. See the disclaimer in the side margin. I simply raise questions so we can consider different viewpoints.

Kerry Messer is a Missouri state lobbyist whose wife Lynn Messer disappeared July 8, 2014. Her remains were discovered on their farm November 1, 2016. Law enforcement continues to investigate her death while waiting on the conclusion of all forensic testing. We now know that Lynn has been deceased the entire time.

Since my last post on this subject, Kerry Messer: Update, I’ve been making more phone calls to inquire if he still lobbies for THE MISSOURI ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN CHILD CARE AGENCIES, INC and MISSOURIANS FOR PERSONAL SAFETY. As with previous calls I’ve made to Kerry Messer’s principals, I was given yet another false claim about the Lynn Messer case. I understand these organizations are passing on information they have been told. This time it was, “Lynn’s death was ruled a suicide and the case has been closed.” Kerry’s name is still listed for Missourians for Personal Safety and Alliance for Life as their lobbyist on the Missouri Ethics Commission website despite them saying Kerry does not work for them. MACCCA still works with Kerry.

As with all past claims I promptly called the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s office to verify the assertion. I was told, “No, Lynn Messer’s death has not been ruled a suicide and the case is not closed.”

Kerry Messer continued to publicly post weekly updates on his Facebook autobiography page, Find Lynn Messer, through August 19, 2017. Here is my brief commentary for his July and August posts. (Picture of Kerry and Lynn is from the public FLM FB page. A family member volunteered that they were present when this picture was taken. They remember Kerry handing the camera to another church member and asking them to take a photo of him and Lynn together.)

In the pursuit of public interest; Lynn’s side of the family believes many of the stories involving Lynn are fiction. They do not recognize many narratives that Kerry writes about, or if they do recognize one, they claim the stories often bear no resemblance to their memory’s version. I write mainly from the family’s point of view and their collective memories.

July 2, 2017

“Ma’s commitments to the farm have helped me also. Just a few days prior to her disappearance she had gone through each and every field of the farm conducting an extensive grass evaluation to plot out a grazing rotation schedule for the cattle. (Her recent work in those fields also explains why her scent trails were just as prominent in every direction, frustrating search efforts in the days following her disappearance. Yet those facts, and her insistence on cattle rotations, are only examples of details that have been twisted to create crazy theories that contradict reason while fueling haters’ imaginations.)

Nevertheless, Ma’s commitments to the farm inspire me to continue. And as I found myself explaining in one media interview, “the cows have helped to save my life”! During those first six months everything was put on hold that could be. We did no work other than what simply had to be done. Most things were ignored and left undone if they were not necessary. But the cows had to be fed.”

Perhaps the cows did save him for a time. Did they possibly cover the most recent scent trail of Lynn’s; in the very direction from the house where her remains were discovered?

According to Lynn’s son, Abram, his mom took care of cattle rotation when it needed to happen so the fact that his dad was so demandingly adamant about Abram moving the cows the morning of July 8, 2014, seemed beyond odd to him; especially in hindsight. If moving the cattle was always Lynn’s responsibility, why would Kerry be thinking of such an insignificant detail when his beloved, “Ma, Bride,” wife was missing and nowhere to be found?

“First of all is that the unanswered questions surrounding Ma’s disappearance on the night of July 7th, 2014, will nag at my emotional well-being for the rest of my life.”

After almost three years of Kerry saying, the morning of July 8 in most posts and media interviews. Why did he switch to the night of July 7?

“Thus it became Lynn’s request that we would eventually retire to Arkansas, and ultimately be buried there. She pushed on her desire to go to Arkansas, sooner or later, and I promised her that one day we would.”

How are Lynn’s sons to reconcile this when according to Lynn’s family, they never heard Lynn say this was a wish or thought of hers?

“Over the years her attachment to the farm superseded everything else we had ever discussed. Eventually Ma and I made the decision to be cremated when the time came, and to have our ashes scattered here on the farm. The idea of going to Arkansas faded into our memories as the farm became our little piece of heaven on earth.”

“I was waiting for input from family. And so it was like being kicked in the gut (once again) when, after more than seven months, the coroner told me that he could not even send in an application for a death certificate until Lynn was in the ground!”

“There is way too much I would like to say about all of this right now, but maybe it would be better for me to just say I feel betrayed – again.”

“Since I was not given any feedback from the family, I decided not to go with cremation.”

How did he contact the family and when? Who did he contact? According to Lynn’s family and extended family, Kerry didn’t communicate with them through writing, through law enforcement, or through an attorney. I was told that Kerry did ask a deacon from Lynn’s sister and mom’s church to mediate between himself and the family, but the deacon declined.

“So I went back to advisers for suggestions. They all said the same thing about waiting over six months with no response from the family. It was my decision to make – but I was strongly encouraged to keep it private and not announce it for haters and critics ahead of time. Preserving the dignity and integrity of even her skeletal remains outweighed opening up what many see as a sacred event to potential media or sightseers.”

“Thus I defaulted to Lynn’s original request. To be buried with my family in Arkansas.”

Again, Lynn never mentioned this to her mom, her sisters, her sons, or her daughter-in-law.

Who are Kerry’s advisers? His attorneys, Spring Thomas, his pastor, or someone else? I think a secular therapist, a Christian counselor, or a member of the clergy would have suggested the importance of allowing a mother’s children and grandchildren the courtesy and necessity of having a grave side service. This could have been easily arranged through the funeral director in Arkansas. One side of the family could have had their service, allowing time for them to leave and the other attendees to arrive, so the others could have the remaining time for their burial ceremony.

Do take note that Kerry, in a FLM post, stated that his pastor was indeed a part of the decision making process on how to handle the burial and who to invite and not invite. I have received word from inside Lynn’s church that just because Kerry states details about the church and leadership in his posts; does not make those details facts. Should we be confused? Maybe. Shocked? Nope.

Side note: I remain saddened and frustrated that the pastor or leadership didn’t bring Kerry before the church for discipline while he was in an extra marital relationship with Spring Thomas while Lynn was missing.

I think we can draw a logical conclusion from the church cancelling the memorial service which Kerry had scheduled. I’ve learned through my studies of difficult relationships, setting boundaries, and identifying character disorders this: If something doesn’t directly affect a person, or institution and cause them discomfort, pain, or inconvenience, they won’t care about getting involved, helping, or changing their behavior. But…make them uncomfortable and they will likely take action to make their pain, embarrassment, or lack of comfort better. Could this also be why Lynn’s former church family was reprimanded and told to stay quiet and stop talking to outside people/non church members?

Back to the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page:

People who have a different opinion are not haters. There happens to be more than one side to this story and I am telling the other side…as Lynn’s voice through her family. Our prayer is that one day soon, God’s truth of the story will be revealed since Lynn cannot speak for herself. I’m confidant the truth will be uncovered.

July 9, 2017

“Of the many ministries she (Lynn) has been involved with, I have narrowed the field down to the three following ministries which best reflect Ma’s passions:”

One of them is:

“Sunshine Mission: http://www.sunshineministries.org/donate/ This is Ma’s ministry of choice for people struggling with a variety of needs. During Ma’s years of cultivating her truck garden, she would take bushels of produce to Sunshine Mission. Because of its location and distance, she would usually get there after dark, or just before. So I encouraged her to take along one of her dogs. Thanks to Ma’s fearless confidence, nothing could stop her from doing anything she set her mind or heart to do. I expect to eventually donate most of Ma’s personal items myself.”

Please reread the last sentence. Why would any dad donate his children’s mother’s belongings without allowing the children to have some of their beloved mom’s possessions? Kerry and the woman law enforcement found Kerry to be in a relationship with within weeks of Lynn’s disappearance, Spring Thomas, were seen cleaning and going through Lynn’s worldly goods months ago, and giving some of them away.

July 16, 2017

“And I am thankful that the memories of our love and life always eclipse the pains and anguishes of this dark path.”

As in the ‘pains and anguishes’ of the dark path Lynn was possibly taken on in the middle of the early morning hours, July 8, 2014? Figuratively, literally, or both?

Last paragraph: July 23, 2017

“But for now, allow me to ask You to send a messenger, some angel with a golden voice, to please whisper my “Thank You” to Lynn. Please let her know that “I am the life that she changed” more than anyone else on this earth! Tell her, “I am so glad she gave”! Please let her know how You have used our love to mold me, and how our love continues to help soften this clay so you can continue working out the lumps! “Thank You” For Giving To The Lord!”

Does he want detectives to think Lynn committed suicide; possibly suicide so he could go on with the life she couldn’t provide but wanted him to have? That she was so selfless? So selfless because his heart was hardened toward her and she knew he wouldn’t change since his interest was in someone else? So….is he saying she took herself out of the way? That he had no idea his Bride was going to do that, or did do that? But now in hind sight, he can see clearly what she did…what she did for him? I ask these questions based on past life experiences that leave me reason to understand how a spouse can write like this and be leaving clues, half-truths, and (to the writer) brilliant hidden meaning. It doesn’t mean this is what happened in this case, but it does leave room for other possibilities.

“I was fired from my job for taking on a battle against a corrupt industry in St. Louis (which I did on my own time and which had nothing to do with my regular job).”

Earlier reports questioned this story and referenced their memory that Kerry was fired for not showing up to work for 3 days; against company orders because he had already been told he could not have the time off and that he had to be at work.

“Along the way, Lynn turned this “old house” into our “home”. Her becoming “Ma” is intimately tied to all of her many exploits and adventures associated with the ways she has created our “home”. As with all of life’s major experiences, we are often changed by major events and we become a reflection of the totality of our choices and responses to the challenges we face. Ma has a reputation of facing her challenges with a certain degree of grace, and lot of spunk!”

When I asked Lynn’s family about the “Ma” title they said that was not one of her names.

July 30th:

“At 10:55 pm, on August 20th, 1977, sitting in the cab of my pick-up truck, Lynn gave her heart and life to The Lord. From that moment on, it was no longer a matter of religion and doing religious things, but about her personal relationship with a God who was now her Guide and friend.”

Fast forward and we now know that a memorial service for Lynn had been planned on the same day, August 20. If the above story is true I find the date interesting. If the above story is not true I find the date interesting. Interesting, because I don’t believe in coincidences where God is concerned and I can rest in knowing He is working out His plan and His truth in Lynn’s story.

“So when our world totally collapsed three years ago, I was confronted by The Lord with the fact that I had no excuse to turn to the world or temptations for comfort from the pains and anguishes of this season.”

Notice; he didn’t say that he had or had not turned to temptations (Spring or other women) but only that the Lord had confronted him about this. With word spinners; it’s the little things you need to consider.

“About a year and a half into this season, I felt that The Lord was moving me to commit to this series of posts, outlining how He has used the Book of Psalms to minister to my shredded heart. It has taken over an additional year and a half to complete this commitment, and no matter what anyone else may say (or the critics twist out of it) I can say at least one thing that no one can take away from me:”

“And that is, it doesn’t amount to a single jot or tittle, what anyone else may think of these posts.”

Has anyone else found Kerry’s personal rewrite of the book of Psalm thought-provoking?Does he think of himself as being like King David; a man after God’s own heart? Is Kerry hoping that if he gives God all the glory and praise that he, Kerry, will be saved from the consequences of choices he has made? I remember that King David had consequences for his adultery with Bathsheba and the premeditated murder of Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah.

I never noticed King David writing with an inflated sense of self importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others, a need for special favors and admiration he believed he deserved, or being preoccupied with telling grandiose stories of ideal love to support possible delusions. King David was transparent, humble, and repentant. He owned his sin, confessed it, and accepted the consequences.

Lynn’s story isn’t over. We know her spiritual heritage will continue through her children and grand children. Meanwhile…we patiently wait on justice for Lynn.

August 19, 2017

“This was supposed to be a Memorial Service for Lynn Messer. I had agreed to step aside and have no role other than to attend, just to keep anyone from possibly twisting anything I might say into something ungracious towards estranged family members or others. Several more close friends of Lynn’s were also taken off the potential speakers list for the same reason. This was supposed to be a time of healing for our church family and anyone else wishing to show respect to the memory of a long term and dedicated church member.”

“The agenda of these internet trolls and their campaign is dishonoring to Lynn’s memory. It is disrespectful to her legacy of life and love. It is even a disgrace to their own agenda against me and anyone who dares disagree with them. And it will be assessed by any objective observer as disgusting and despicable.”

My sources informed me that Kerry was TOLD he couldn’t speak at Lynn’s memorial; therefore, there was no option except to agree. By the way, it is sad but true that the church in general tends to not take the side of, or take up the cause of the victim. They often stand with the guilty. If you think staying neutral is the best road, you are still taking sides in the eyes of guilty and the innocent through your passive indifference. To not speak is to agree to something wrong that God has called sin. The absence of your empathy and understanding causes great harm to the innocent. Your inaction and withholding of words is speaking loudly and clearly.

Kerry’s last paragraph could be referred to as mirroring. Some people have the capability of reflecting their own thoughts, or things they have been accused of back on the other person. Actions and words that they should own; they blame on other people. Even when they clearly and definitely did something wrong, they cannot and will not accept responsibility. They habitually deflect the blame elsewhere. They ignore their contribution to the situation or insist that the other person made them do it. They know right from wrong, but they can’t allow something bad to be their fault; therefore, the rules don’t apply to them. They have the ability to blame you for everything that isn’t right in their life, and blame you for what other people do, and blame you for whatever has happened. They will always blame you-even for their abuse toward you. It can be a maddening cycle.

“Until we can become people-focused rather than reputation-focused – churches will fail to properly support victims and survivors. We must follow the way of Jesus and sit with the hurting rather than stand with the harmful.” — Ashley Easter

**DISCLAIMER: All of my opinions come from research, personal experience, and discussions I may have had with professionals. I receive NO monetary benefits and hold no responsibility by sharing the information associated with this page and its contents. The information herein is NOT intended as a form of diagnosis, treatment, verdict, or legal advise.

September 20, 2017, Kerry Messer: Update

Here is an update for concerned citizens who have been advocating to remove Kerry Messer from lobbying for family, Christian, homeschooling, and pro-life principles in the state of Missouri. Your letter/email writing and phone calls made a difference. You were successful again. Kerry was removed as a lobbyist for Americans United for Life.

Kerry Messer is a Missouri state lobbyist whose wife Lynn Messer disappeared July 8, 2014. Her remains were discovered on their farm November 1, 2016. Law enforcement continues to investigate her death while waiting on the conclusion of all forensic testing. We now know that Lynn has been deceased the entire time and law enforcement confirms that Kerry Messer has not been cleared in the investigation surrounding Lynn’s death.

Below is a list of principals Kerry is still listed as lobbying for, and those who have deleted their association with him as their lobbyist.

April 2017, Alliance for Life (417) 598-1040- Kerry is listed as a lobbyist but they mainly works with Sam Lee. August 2017 – They do not currently employ anyone as a lobbyist. They need to call the Missouri Ethics Commission (573) 751-2020 to delete Kerry’s name from their listing.

April 2017 MISSOURI ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN CHILD CARE AGENCIES, INC. (660) 347-5982- As of last contact, April 2017, Kerry still works for them. They knew his wife was missing but didn’t know her remains had been found. August 2017 – MACCCA was contacted two more times but did not respond.

Missourians for Personal Safety (816) 455-2669: April 2017, I spoke with Kevin Jamison. Yes, Kerry represents them. They have been pleased with how Kerry has been very honest, upfront, and forthright with updates on everything. Kerry informed them when Lynn went missing, Kerry told them about his relationship with the other woman, told them when Lynn’s remains were found, and informed them when he, Kerry, secured Lynn’s dental records for the authorities; and just in time because they were about to be destroyed. Mr. Jamison said everybody but Kerry (referring to his colleagues, knew Kerry’s wife was dead and wouldn’t be returning). August 2017 – Said that Kerry hasn’t worked for them for years. The Missouri Ethics Commission shows that Kerry still represents them. They also need to call the Missouri Ethics Commission (573) 751-2020 to delete Kerry’s name from their listing.

Missouri Family Network is Kerry Messer’s own organization from which he works in Jefferson City.

Next:

There have been numerous calls going back and forth for several months waiting for the Missouri Child Abuse and Neglect Review Board to name Kerry Messer’s replacement for his seat. This was achieved at the end of August 2017 and confirmed to me today, for publishing, by Sarah Smith in the Missouri Child Abuse and Neglect office, and by Scott Turk, Director of Boards and Commissions at the Office of Governor Eric Greiten. The Child Abuse and Neglect Review Board, is a board in which Governor Nixon had appointed Kerry Messer, and although Kerry’s term had expired, there was not a replacement voted in so Kerry maintained his place on this board.; not any more.

I have been down the traumatic road of not being able to keep a child safe from a predator, and the court silencing me from telling what I knew about the predator to churches who hired him. After over a decade, I succeeded in helping to put this pedophile offender away for life without the possiblity of parole for 25 years. For this reason, I needed the reassurance that people of integrity who have a passion for innocent children serve on the Child Abuse and Neglect Review Board.

It recently came to my attention, through a GiveMe Chocolate reader, that Kerry Messer also serves on the board for The Good News Voice: Missouri River Christian Broadcasting.

Radio is one of the most used forms of communication and is a powerful and effective way to advertise and get a message out to a mass audience.

Should someone who is not cooperating with an open and active investigation in his wife’s disappearance and death, who according to law enforcement, Spring Thomas, and Kerry Messer has been in a relationship with a woman not his wife within weeks of his wife’s disappearance, be representing the Christian broadcasting community?

If your answer is no, please take action and call to voice your concerns and disappointment in The Good News Voice for continuing to allow Kerry Messer on their board of directors. Phone number (877) 385-3787. Below is a screen shot of the current Good News Voice website.

Thank you for your continued interest in this case and for your citizen activism for the benefit of the state of Missouri.

September 18, 2017, Holly & Dave Ashley: Lynn Messer case

Holly and Dave Ashley recorded an interview: Redemption, Restoration and Recovery on Freedom through faith: The Kingdom Crossroad’s podcast.

Holly and Dave teach their court approved, Christian, domestic violence curriculum to those mandated by the courts. Holly consults churches and ministries; setting up biblical counseling resource centers and domestic violence, legal aid, counselor programs at their ministry and church locations. They have been involved in grassroots advocacy in the field of abuse for over 30 years. Holly’s work has been locally and nationally recognized and she has assisted local prosecutors in mock trials for high-profile ‘violence’ cases.

Holly and Dave have been working on the Lynn Messer case. She has much to say about Lynn, Kerry Messer, and the church that loves and welcomes Kerry.

If you have a heart for people fleeing abusive relationships you will find this interview educational.

This is a precursor for a series of testimonies I will be publishing by people who are trying to leave, have separated from, or have divorced an abusive spouse.

It has been a goal of mine for a year to begin working toward changing our state laws in regard to child custody cases. As I have ministered to abused women for the last few years and heard story after story of their abuser deceiving and winning over the guardian ad litem to win full custody, 50/50 custody, or unsupervised custody of the children in cases of extreme abuse; I came to realize the system needs fixed.

My goal for the state of Missouri is to bring about change to our current legal system. Our present day system does not mandate domestic violence training for people involved with family/divorce court. I would like to see judges, attorneys, guardian ad litems, social workers, law enforcement officers and church leadership trained to recognize domestic violence and deal with it accordingly.

If you would like your testimony to be included in my presentation, you may send me your concerns. Please type your story, short and to the point. You may include your name and address if you like, or if you’re in the middle of divorce court and don’t want to use your full name, you may use your first name or a fake name.

I don’t know who ever proposed that an attorney with no background in child development, domestic/spousal abuse, child abuse, psychology, psychiatry, social work, or zero understanding of personality disorders was made responsible for the current and future well-being of children. It literally turns out that most often the abuser, or unstable partner, is believed over the stable parent/partner/victim.

I’ve heard of women losing their sanity upon the court awarding full custody of the children to a documented abusive father. (This also applies to men who have been in destructive or abusive relationships.) There are new, published studies showing the majority of abusers are in fact believed over the healthy, stable person.

I’ve also watched women be left financially desolate while the man drags the court case out for years without having to pay his share of child support and bills. I’ve seen women walk away from receiving financial support and court mandated child support to escape the abuse and control.

Something needs to change and I’m willing to put in the time to see it happen. Please help me by telling me your story, or your loved one’s story, about an unsatisfactory encounter with a guardian ad litem or the one thing you would like to see changed in the process of navigating family court.

I in no way mean to bash the guardian ad litems, I’m just pointing out that they don’t have domestic violence training. How can they be expected, in minutes or hours, to see and figure out what likely took the victim years to conclude?

*Disclaimer: This podcast is published in its entirety by outside sources not affiliated with GiveMe Chocolate. These are their opinions and do not necessarily reflect the ideas or opinions of this website. The commentary presented in this podcast does not constitute legal fact.

August 19, 2017, Lynn Messer’s Memorial Cancelled

UPDATE: THE MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR LYNN MESSER HAS BEEN CANCELLED.

I THANK THE CHURCH FOR DOING THE RIGHT THING.

I’VE BEEN GIVEN MULTIPLE REASONS FOR THE CANCELLATION: THE PASTOR AND DEACONS ARE NOT PLEASED WITH KERRY’S ONGOING BEHAVIOR, KERRY’S DIFFERENT ACCOUNTS OF ALREADY REPORTED INVESTIGATIVE INFORMATION, SAFETY CONCERNS, POSSIBLE PROTESTS, CHURCH MEMBER’S CONCERNS ABOUT KERRY’S RELATIONSHIP WITH SPRING THOMAS.

I APPRECIATE THIS READER’S WORDS WHICH THEY INCLUDED IN A LETTER TO THE CHURCH THIS WEEK, “I cannot understand why you would choose to be more conduit to Kerry’s deception as the “grieving” spouse on Sunday.”

August 18, 2017, Lynn Messer case: Kerry not

UPDATE: THE MEMORIAL SERVICE HAS BEEN CANCELLED. I THANK THE CHURCH FOR DOING THE RIGHT THING. I’VE BEEN GIVEN MULTIPLE REASONS FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE: THAT THE PASTOR AND DEACONS ARE NOT PLEASED WITH KERRY’S ONGOING BEHAVIOR, KERRY’S DIFFERENT ACCOUNTS OF ALREADY REPORTED INVESTIGATIVE INFORMATION, SAFETY CONCERNS, POSSIBLE PROTESTS, CHURCH MEMBER’S CONCERNS ABOUT KERRY’S RELATIONSHIP WITH SPRING THOMAS. I APPRECIATE THIS READER’S WORDS THEY INCLUDED IN A LETTER TO THE CHURCH THIS WEEK, “I cannot understand why you would choose to be more conduit to Kerry’s deception as the “grieving” spouse on Sunday.” THIS LETTER BY J. LEE GAVE BIBLICAL PRECEDENCE FOR CANCELLING THE SERVICE: ZECHARIAH 7: CLICK HERE TO READ THE LETTER.

I’ve been hearing from several people who have received communication from Kerry Messer this week regarding the memorial for his deceased wife, Lynn.

They are confused because they are being told that the investigation is closed, that Kerry has been cleared in the investigation of Lynn’s disappearance and death, and that Kerry did not become involved with Spring Thomas until 15 months after Lynn’s disappearance.

“How do we know who to trust; Kerry, family members, you, media? Where do you get your information and how do you know it’s true?”

Thank you for asking.

I have four sources: the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office, Lynn’s family members, Lynn’s friends, and other media sources. Detective White always proves to be approachable and answers questions as best he can. Often he can’t comment, but when he can he does.

I called Detective White today, August 18, 2017 for clarification. I don’t want to publish false news, misinformation, or downright lies. I asked permission to pose a few questions so I can clear up questions that some of my readers have, and to find out if investigative circumstances have changed since I talked to him a few weeks ago.

Questions are mine.

Answers are from Detective White of the Ste. Genevieve Sheriff’s Department.

Q: Has Kerry Messer now been cleared in the investigation of Lynn’s disappearance and death?

A: No.

Q: Has Abram been cleared in the investigation of Lynn’s disappearance and death?

A: No comment. (Later he went back to this question for clarification as best as he could give.) Abram continues to cooperate with the investigation through law enforcement; answering questions when we have them. That cannot be said of Kerry Messer.

Q: I’ve heard that the investigation has been closed. Is this true?

A: No.

Q: Word is getting back to me that Kerry is claiming the relationship between he and Spring didn’t begin until 15 months after Lynn’s disappearance.

A: I don’t know the source of that information but it didn’t come from law enforcement.

Q: I’m aware the Ste. Genevieve County prosecuting attorney’s wife passed away this spring. I don’t know if that has affected his position, but I do understand that his term is almost finished. Could this mean the investigation will remain at a stand still until a new prosecuting attorney comes on the scene?

A: No comment. It is true that prosecuting attorney Carl Kinsky’s term will be finished in 2018. An election will be held to fill the office.

Sherae Honeycutt: “What would you say to someone who might say this case is dead, you don’t have any suspects, you have inconclusive evidence at this point; what would you say to them?”

Major Jason Schott: “There may be stuff that we’re currently looking at that we cannot talk about because it is an active investigation.”

This gives me great hope that they believe they can solve the question of how Lynn died.

Below is more information on the timeline of Kerry and Spring Thomas’ relationship.

This is what Aarron said in the “Who is Spring Thomas?” post: “At the six week point of the investigation into mom’s disappearance Spring confirmed in a written statement that she was in fact in a relationship with my dad. After she made her statement to police she messaged Abram and in an odd conversation and asked Abram if it was appropriate for her to continue to participate in searches. Abram was flabbergasted; he had no idea why she would ask that. See, the only people aware of Kerry and Spring’s relationship at that time was Spring, Kerry, and investigators. Abram has since reflected that the purpose of that discussion was to identify if police had told him about the relationship.”

“No one is naive enough to believe this was a new relationship,” Abram said. “There was no time to have a relationship, no opportunity to spend meaningful time with someone. I don’t know how my father could say that they were just friends. It was way more than a friendship. Besides, I don’t know what kind of friends you need to take Viagra or Cialis to visit.

“While we were trying to figure out when this relationship could have started, we realized we had been taking cattle up to her farm for years,” Abram said. “I was never comfortable with the way my father acted around her. She acted like a boyhood crush had visited. Then we figured out why there was this sudden rush of stress.”

Daily Journal Online: Son shares another perspective on disappearance. “It was over a year after my mother went missing, whenever we started doing some more investigating after finding out my father had been hiding a relationship with another woman since August of 2014,” said Abram. “That is aside from the woman he claims he was pursuing as soon as eight weeks after my mother went missing. When we found all this out we began to question the things he was saying and that’s when we found out that she never went to any of those counseling sessions alone.”

Both of Kerry Messer’s sons, Abram and Aarron, now doubt aspects of their father’s accounting of events relating to the disappearance of their mother.

Moreover, the sons are bitter over Kerry Messer’s decision to begin what their father describes as a romantic but chaste relationship with another woman — a decision that they say raises questions and sullies the reputation of the Missouri Family Network.

“For the first time in 39 years I kissed someone other than my wife, Lynn. If you want to call that an affair, then you call it that term.”

In an interview last week, Kerry Messer said his relationship with Thomas began around Christmas 2014 — about five months after his wife disappeared.

But Schott, of the Sheriff’s Department, said detectives had confirmed a relationship between Kerry Messer and Thomas months earlier — about eight weeks after Lynn Messer disappeared.

Messer said in an interview that he disclosed the relationship to police voluntarily and upon advice from pastors.

However, police say Messer first told them about Thomas only after authorities already had learned of the relationship from her, while visiting her farm. Hours later, police say, Messer called them to disclose the relationship.

Schott said Thomas was seen by police among search parties organized soon after Lynn’s disappearance. Police said she has refused further questioning.

On to a different topic: The Memorial

Several readers have said they have attempted to call and talk to someone at First Baptist Church Festus Crystal City without success. Without exception, everyone gets a recording. Some have left calm messages asking the church to reconsider their position and listing their biblical reasons for calling.

How has it gone for you?

I called this afternoon for an update on their reconsideration of holding or not holding the memorial service. Again, I received a recording. I didn’t leave a message since no one has been successful in receiving a call back. There has not been a courtesy reply or a public statement.

Possibilities have gone back and forth, but I have nothing definite… so I’ll wait to update you.

If you have heard that the memorial has been cancelled, rescheduled, or moved, please comment below and let me know.

Multiple readers sent letters to the church this week: Read previous posts for 3 letters, Abram Messer’s response, and my response.

August 17, 2017, To Lynn Messer’s church: Correspondence from Jeff. City

I submit to you another letter written on behalf of Lynn Messer’s sons, their families, Lynn’s extended family, and on behalf of Lynn. What if it were you who disappeared for over two years only to have your remains discovered on your husband’s farm? Law enforcement discovers your husband is in a relationship with another women within weeks of your disappearance. During the three years since your disappearance/death he writes weekly about how he is grief-stricken and that his shredded heart can barely go on without you. Wouldn’t you want your someone to pursue answers and justice for you?

To: First Baptist Church Festus Crystal City,

I am appalled that you would be hosting a memorial for Lynn Messer. I’m sure I need not quote Scripture to show you where God’s Word warns us of turning a blind eye to evil (Kerry’s) not to mention God’s even more stern warning to teachers and leadership for doing so specifically in II Timothy.

Lynn’s entire family has been cleared in the investigation except for Kerry for 3 YEARS now, and you choose to indulge Kerry’s attention seeking with this service? Have any of you contacted law enforcement to ask basic questions about the investigation status? Spring Thomas and Kerry are not cooperating with them. Do you know any grieving spouse that wouldn’t want answers about the other’s disappearance and now that her body has been recovered, can you imagine any grieving spouse not wanting answers about how the other died? Not cooperating with the investigation speaks volumes on Kerry’s ‘grief’. I cannot understand why you would choose to be more conduit to Kerry’s deception as the “grieving” spouse on Sunday.

Has it occurred to you that seeking unbelievers observe actions more than they hear words… Its concerning to know that the unbelievers observing your church are watching you allow a man WHO IS STILL CONSIDERED A SUSPECT to organize a service for his wife who died under suspicious circumstances.

I worked at the capital and spent a lot of time with Kerry and Abram and I had no reason or motivation to choose sides from the very beginning but I couldn’t bring myself to join those early search parties because nothing added up from the very beginning and I was spooked that I would trip over her dead body because my instincts were telling me there was foul play. There is still no motivation or benefit to me choosing sides, in fact this has cost me certain professional relationships for speaking out against Kerry’s affair publicly. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and I stand by my choices. I will not look the other way on Kerry’s convoluted rationale for his ‘special friendship’ with Spring before he would have known he was a widower or all the contractions in his details of the events that occurred. All the lies and omissions especially on his Facebook page make a mockery of God’s pure love and forgiveness and our true repentance in order to be called his children.

Trying anyone outside a court of law is wrong so Kerry is still presumed innocent of anything illegal. At the very least however the FACTS about his still suspect status and confirmed affair (according to investigators) are shocking to so many of the mutual friends and acquaintances I have in common with Kerry in terms of your church supporting him as you are. They are confused, disillusioned and discouraged with your decision to host this service.

If you are choosing to enable the furtherance of evil no matter how insignificant you might rationalize it to be, I personally can not in good conscience push it under the rug according to God’s calling for our righteousness. To watch a HOUSE OF GOD planning something on behalf of the REMAINING SUSPECT in Lynn’s death on Sunday is nothing short of frightening to me personally because it won’t be blessed.

*Disclaimer: This is a letter written in its entirety by a GiveMe Chocolate/Spiritual Battles reader. These are their opinions and do not necessarily reflect the ideas or opinions of this website. I am committed to publishing works of integrity. In that spirit, I offer this letter to my readers; however, the words are the author’s alone—told from their viewpoint. The testimony presented in this letter does not constitute legal facts, a guarantee, or a prediction regarding the outcome of advice given.

August 16, 2017, Lynn Messer: More correspondence

I have met some amazingly wonderful people through the avenue of blogging. They challenge me, encourage me, speak truth to me, and provide excellent community. I’m grateful to have made a few new, meaningful friendships with like-minded people.

I received the following letter from a reader who is a former homeschool graduate with a college degree from Moody Bible Institute. The below letter was sent directly to the church.

This is another biblical challenge for the church leadership to change the path they are taking.

Dear Pastors of First Baptist Festus,

I am not sure if you are familiar with the passage in Zechariah 7. In my 30+ years in the church, I have never been fortunate enough to hear a sermon on this passage. It really speaks to the WHY of what we do.

“The people[a] sent Sherezer. . . to the house of God, to pray before the Lord, and to ask…, “Should I weep in the fifth month and fast as I have done for so many years?”

Then the word of the Lord of hosts came to me, saying, “. . . ‘When you fasted and mourned in the fifth and seventh months during those seventy years, did you really fast for Me—for Me? When you eat and when you drink, do you not eat and drink for yourselves?Should you nothave obeyed the words which the Lord proclaimed through the former prophets…?’”

Zachariah 7:2 – 7

Could fasting or other spiritual practices really be insulting to God?

I am struck with God’s response to the question as to if they should continue their observance of fasting. God wanted to know if the mourning and fasting was for Him? For His glory? God didn’t need to ask a rhetorical question – He is all knowing, but I presume He wanted to evoke thoughts that would result in repentance, change and restoration. Simply put – He was confronting them. Sadly, they didn’t listen!

In verse 9, the Lord Almighty said this “Administer true JUSTICE, show mercy and compassion to one another.” Simply, love mercy and DO Justice. Justice is compassionate and precedes mercy. No surprise that a just God is justice-oriented.

Verse 10 speaks to not oppressing widows, the fatherless, foreigners or poor. And to NOT plot evil against one another.

Sadly, they weren’t inspired by the words of God. They didn’t get to the business of justice. It seems shocking that they were too busy to listen to God because, after all, they were building the temple

“They refused to heed, shrugged their shoulders and stopped their ears…They made their hearts as hard as flint.” (verse 11 – 12) God was angry! Injustice makes God angry!

The chapter ends with “When I called they didn’t listen . . . I scattered them . . . This is how they made the pleasant land desolate.”

When I heard that a memorial service was being held for Lynn Messer, my first thought was, “Why?” Why another one in addition to the one held by Lynn’s sons, sisters and mom? If Kerry was holding another one, why didn’t this happen at the same as when her bones were buried? Why now? Why isn’t there justice for Lynn? Why would First Baptist Festus continue to align themselves with a man who appears to have a heart of flint and is unrepentant?

Why is First Baptist Festus focused on mercy for one man but not on justice for Lynn? Throughout the Bible and in God’s economy, justice comes first and then mercy. Is it really merciful to not do justice? NO!

My heart is especially grieved by earthly fathers and, in particular, Christian earthly fathers who do not emulate the love of our Heavenly Father to their children. Fathers who give their children stones and snakes when the children ask for bread and fish have done something more devastating than breaking the hearts of their children – these evil fathers trample on the very earthly institution that God instituted to remind us of His love. I am pretty sure this angers a just God. (Matthew 7:9-11) I am saddened by the manner in which Kerry has treated his sons.

Could having a memorial for service for a dear lady be the wrong thing to do? I submit to you that YES it is just as it was wrong for the fasting to take place in the above passage. Justice first, then mercy not fasting or memorial services that are self-serving. The best way to honor Lynn is to act justly, to love her sons and to honor the sanctity of marriage!

What should happen next weekend is that Kerry Messer should be urged to cooperate with law enforcement and repent – if for nothing else than for having an affair. It is hard to believe that a husband with a missing wife would start a relationship just weeks after the wife went missing unless he knew she wasn’t coming home. And makes you wonder if then the new relationship wasn’t the reason for Lynn’s death?

Please don’t continue to bring dishonor to my Lord and Savior by your unwillingness to stand for justice. Lynn had evil plotted against her, so don’t be too busy “building your temple” to take a stand for justice. Don’t allow your hearts to be that of flint. I am sad to think that a failure to seek justice will result in making the “pleasant land” of First Baptist desolate.

*Disclaimer: This is a letter written in its entirety by a GiveMe Chocolate/Spiritual Battles reader. These are their opinions and do not necessarily reflect the ideas or opinions of this website. I am committed to publishing works of integrity. In that spirit, I offer this letter to my readers; however, the words are the author’s alone—told from their viewpoint. The testimony presented in this letter does not constitute legal facts, a guarantee, or a prediction regarding the outcome of advice given.

August 14, 2017, Lynn Messer letter response

I’ve heard and read that the letter to the church from some of Lynn’s concerned friends seems over the top to a few of you, but I understand the concern and frustrations behind the letter.

I am publicly calling anyone who is planning on protesting the memorial service to please cancel those plans.

Any one who chooses to engage in this activity is directly acting in opposition to my express desires and wishes, and are operating on their own.

Before I continue…

I understand that tone of voice and emotion are left up to question when writing and/or reading so allow me to clear the question of my intent.

I’m not angry or being demanding. I have a calm, quiet voice and am fueled by my love for Christ’s church. I have some questions and concerns I desperately want the church leadership and membership to consider. No one’s motive is to attack the church; the body of Christ. The motive is to ask them to reexamine the decisions they have made because the decisions don’t line up with scripture.

I also need to remind you in this post with what I’ve been seeking all along—that the church hold Kerry Messer accountable for his ongoing relationship, with a woman not his wife, since shortly after Lynn disappeared…when no on knew where Lynn was, or if she was alive or dead. I am not asking them to pass judgment on his guilt or innocence in Lynn’s disappearance or death. The pastor and the church may have their own opinions on how to handle this; but scripture doesn’t leave room for our opinions. That is what I want to make clear and why I desire the church to act justly. Seek justice for Lynn and her family.

I have lived on the side of an abuser being believed over the victims. I see far more churches who accept an abuser’s testimony without checking the facts, I have a passion to see the church come to an understanding of how rampant this problem is throughout all denominational and non-denominational backgrounds.

Here is a list of a few biblical counselors, organizations, and survivors who minister to victims of marital abuse, and other abuses within the church. Most of these offer educational tools to local church’s and individuals.

Leslie Vernick

Patrick Doyle

A Cry for Justice

Emotional Survivor

The Psalm 82 Initiative

G.R.A.C.E. Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment

Claire Roise

Give Her Wings

Gary Thomas

Jeff Crippen

Holly Ashley

For those of us who study abuse in the Christian environment we desperately want the church to see the way they are contributing to the demise of victims while putting their trust and support behind abusers and/or duplicitous individuals.

These leaders may not be clever enough to see it, but the abused women and children get the message loud and clear: If you come to us about abuse, we will cross-examine you, we will doubt you, we will endanger you, we will use God to pressure you, we will blame you, and we will shame you.

I often see churches that believe in being sweet and soft toward people who need corrected. Jesus was not soft-spoken and syrupy sweet when dealing with blatant sin. He was wise, just, caring, firm and factual. I think it’s time for church leadership to act with biblical wisdom, justice and boldness. There is no other way to deal with difficult personalities if you see they are trying to manipulate you.

Regarding the letter to the church, no one was judging the motive of the pastor’s heart. Please reread the scriptures listed in Abram’s letter: regarding obedience. You are picking one sentence and using it out of context. Your pastor is not responsible for Kerry’s action, but he is responsible for safe guarding the flock God has entrusted to him.

Let’s also apply this verse:

Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.” (NIV)

I understand your concern for your pastor. I’m not God and I can’t say with certainty that what I think about Kerry Messer is correct, but if he is anything close to what I speculate about him then he could hoodwink the most world renowned doctors in the field of psychology. Which could mean your pastor should chalk it up to a lesson learned and humbly apologize, and ask forgiveness from Lynn’s sons and his church family. He wouldn’t be the first person to believe a professional liar.

That is why the apostle Paul warns us in I Timothy:

The sins of some people are conspicuous, going before them to judgment, but the sins of others appear later. So also good works are conspicuous, and even those that are not cannot remain hidden. (1 Timothy 5:24-25)

Paul wrote to Timothy to be on guard. He warned about people whose sins are visible and easy to see. That’s easy! What’s difficult is the second part of the verse; “the sins of others appear later.” Paul wrote this to Timothy after he said, “Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep yourself pure.” (1 Timothy 5:22)

Those evil ones whose sins “appear later” hide in the church, especially abusive husbands. Although I don’t know why; statistics show a higher rate of spousal abuse in the church than outside the church community. Abusers thrive in this environment and satisfy their hunger for power and control in every local church body…and the church members sitting next to them in bible study and worship have no idea.

This is where the church, and especially leadership, needs to grow in wisdom. Abusers can appear outwardly holy in speech and even in actions—for a short time—yet be inwardly evil. Usually only the family experiences this side of the person, but occasionally so do co-workers. We shouldn’t be shocked when someone steps forward with allegations of abuse. It’s sad, but we should believe the victim’s side until a full investigation has proven innocence. I so strongly believe in this where spousal abuse is reported. Not believing has left countless women and children battered or dead.

Witnesses stepped forward at Lynn’s memorial service and luncheon in December and told me that Lynn confided in them about spousal abuse. Abram and Aarron have also written and spoken; confirming these accusations.

There is a spiritual disconnect with abusers. Why? They have a veneer of Christianity but don’t have the actual spirit. Jesus said, “I’m leaving but I will send you a gift; the Holy Spirit to convict you of sin (right and wrong) what’s true and what isn’t, and to comfort. If I don’t see conviction and comfort in someone I doubt their spirituality. You can feign the fruit of the spirit but you cannot feign conviction and comfort. The spirit is dead or not present.

Religious denial is the worst because, its sneaky, the most dangerous denial there is. Not only do these types of people believe they’re okay but they have a sense of nobility and righteousness about themselves. It appears he has spiritualized what I think is his sin. He doesn’t see the problem; he believes he’s doing God’s work. It looks like he’s ignoring his sons, not caring about their hearts, withholding relationship, while losing his children’s respect and love.

Scripture says we confess our sins to one another that we might be healed; the only person this does not pertain to is Jesus. Hardness happens when we don’t confess. He’s avoiding truth and making the world as he’s see it; which is not his family’s reality. That is in essence idolatry.

Truth is more important than comfort—so I press on to reveal truth and bring sin out of the darkness and into the light. The light is where Jesus dwells; it’s what He is and in this place there is healing and restoration.

We must call abusers out on the darkness; and ask those who support them to step back and allow the consequences to fall where they may. This is tough but it is not unloving, unkind, or judgmental. We call them out because we do love; we love with the love of Christ and we want them to receive wisdom, power, and healing to have victory over their stronghold. This is true love…anything less is the oposite and in reality is unloving.

“When you meet someone who seems soooo “Christian” and sooooo “warm” and “kind,” remind yourself that the verdict is still out on what they really are. Don’t let yourself get swept off your feet by someone’s charm, no matter how good it might feel to do so. If you permit yourself to be “charmed” and come under their spell, it is highly unlikely that anyone is going to be able to warn you, and you will have to learn the hard, hard way as most all of us have had to. In the same way as time will show the genuineness of a real Christian’s heart, so, in time, the wicked deceptive person will be revealed for what they really are.” ~ A Cry for Justice: He is just the nicest man I’ve ever met—Beware the abuser’s charm.

Unfortunately, people who live a double life will always have their following…even after the prison doors clang shut behind them. I’ve seen it!

*This case is of public interest. Kerry Messer is a public figure who fund raises from the citizens of Missouri to provide professional and personal finances through his organization Missouri Family Network. Lynn Messer’s sons and extended family continue to point out moral and ethical issues they have witnessed by Kerry Messer. I do not write these posts or publish letters as a professional in any field of expertise, but rather to educate my readers from the life experiences through which I have lived. See the disclaimer in the side margin. The content of this post does not constitute legal facts, a guarantee, or a prediction regarding the outcome of advice given.

August 12, 2017, Abram Messer regarding obedience

*Disclaimer: This is a letter written in its entirety by Lynn Messer’s son Abram Messer. These are his memories, opinions, and accounts of interactions and conversations. I am committed to publishing works of integrity. In that spirit, I offer this letter to my readers; however, the story, the experiences, and the words are the author’s alone—told from his viewpoint. The testimony presented in this letter does not constitute legal facts, a guarantee, or a prediction regarding the outcome of advice given.

~Aarron Messer

Regarding Obedience

By: Abram Messer

As many of you know my father Kerry has announced that he is planning a memorial service for my mom at First Baptist Church of Festus Crystal City. Many of you also know that our family also used to attend First Baptist FCC as well. In fact we were members there for over a decade, and pastor Charles McClain even baptized some of my children. We still have many dear friends who attend there. Those friends we thought so highly of, we were sure to invite to my mother’s memorial service in December of 2016. My brother Aarron, was also sure to send invitations to my mom’s friends and acquaintances at First Baptist FCC as well. Due to questionable weather conditions, many of our friends were not able to attend. And sadly, almost everyone else that Aarron invited declined to attend or even respond to their invitation.

So what does this have to do with obedience?

The Word of God has plenty to say about sin, repentance, obedience and reconciliation. And 2 Tim 3:16-17 tells us “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” This tells us that any questions that we have about ‘what to do next’ can be found in the infallible Word of God. All we have to do is be obedient. We do not have the luxury of picking and choosing what portions of the Word we ‘feel’ like obeying. Nor do we get to skip over the parts that are hard, challenging or that make us uncomfortable. When it comes to our current circumstances, it can be easy to feel very lost… but God has not abandoned us and has left us with a very specific course of action in dealing with sin.

*Just an FYI, I am NOT perfect. I have made plenty of mistakes, struggled and failed repeatedly to wholly live up to Gods standard. I have also never hid these shortcomings, and sought both God’s forgiveness as well as done everything within my power to be reconciled to those that I have offended.

Obedience in response to sin

The Word of God gives us a very detailed outline of what to do when a brother (or sister) is in sin. This process is not one to be taken lightly. It should be done with all seriousness and humility before God, as Ezekiel chapter 3 and Romans 1 lay out our biblical responsibility to call out sin as well as presents Gods firm condemnation on us if we sit quietly by. The consequences of this “sin of silence” ought to be more than enough to demand our attention.

This outline we biblically must follow starts in Matthew 7:1-6

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”

Church goers are always quick to point out verses 1-4, while conveniently editing out the rest of the passage… namely that confronting sin is a serious thing, and our first stop is not the person whose actions are in question. Our first stop is on our knees at the foot of the cross. Dealing with sin always begins with personal reflection, to ensure that our hearts and minds are right before God.

After we have dealt with our own heart before God we move on to Matthew 18:15-20.

“If your brother sins against you go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

If we have made certain that our hearts are right before God and we are operating out of the right motivation, then we are commanded by Jesus Christ Himself to go to the individual who has sinned and in love confront them about the issue. If they do not repent, go back with more fellow believers and confront them again. If they still refuse to turn from their sin, we are commanded by God to bring them before the church, and finally… if steeped in their rebellion they refuse to submit to the Word of God, they are to be treated as a nonbeliever and a tax collector. The term “tax collector” here which is used is very interesting, considering He was referring to the Jewish people who had betrayed their countrymen by cutting a deal to work with the Roman officials to extract and extort Gods people.

If an individual still refuses to repent of their sin and submit to God, He still has commands for us.

Ephesians 5:11-17

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

1 Timothy 5:20-21

“As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear. In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality.”

The Word of God stands in stark contrast to the way most churches deal with sin… and sadly this is the case with First Baptist Church of Festus Crystal City. You see I think Dr. McClain kind of was obedient. He did do some things… he did go to the MBC president Dr. Yeats and together they made the decision to remove my father Kerry from his position representing the MBC at the capital (a position, they were very careful to explain was basically a verbal agreement formed through the CLC). But here is where something happened.

I started meeting with Dr. McClain in June of 2015 after discovering my father’s secret relationship with Spring. We met off and on through the end of the year, and I followed up with him repeatedly until the end of the legislative session in May of 2016. All in all, for 11 months we had an ongoing dialogue. That my friends, was a lot of time, tears, and prayer. I met personally with Dr. Yeats in Jefferson City in the early months of 2016, and he recounted for me his personal conversations with my father in which my father was informed that he would no longer be publicly speaking on behest of the convention. As time went on things continued to disintegrate. My father has refused to speak to me since December of 2015. Despite my pleas for him to repent, and in spite of the fact that I had gone to him in private (multiple times) begging him to repent; in love desperately seeking that he would be reconciled to God, so that our relationship could be healed, he has refused to do so. He has ignored the fact that my brother and I both sat down with him, calling him in love and tears to repentance. His first response was to attempt to pacify me by telling me he was going to turn MFN over to me (which I never asked for) and finally place my home in my name, but also failed to follow through with anything he pledged to do, setting himself up with the legal authority to remove my family and me from our home.

Partial obedience is disobedience

1 Samuel 15 tells us about King Saul being given a direct command from God. Saul then goes out and does… most of it. King Saul does most of what God commanded, but decided that he knew better than God. God responded in 1 Sam 15:22-23 by saying

“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord?

Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has also rejected you from being king.”

Partial obedience is in fact disobedience; it is nothing more that rebellion before God Himself. Let me phrase that a little bit differently for you… “To not act is to act”.

The hardest part of this whole mess has not been the abuse and betrayal of my own father. It has not been losing my home and career. It has not been the long-term trauma of my mom’s missing persons case, or the years of searching.

It was realizing that Dr. McClain and the MBC, as far as I can tell, chose partial obedience.

I was getting concerned that the MBC was more interested in making sure that they had covered their backside than being obedient when I tried to follow up with Dr. Yeats in 2016. When I finally was able to reach him, he recounted a completely different version of his conversation with my father. A new version which completely whitewashed the very issues which we were attempting to deal with. Furthermore, when various media reached out to the MBC, they chose to tell a third version of why my father was no longer representing them, this time fabricating the story that it was due to budget cuts.

It is with the deepest heartbreak that I tell you that when I met with Dr. McClain days after my father fired me, he chose a side.

I am not telling you this because I am angry and lashing out, nor am I out for blood as some have accused me of. I am telling you this because I believe that I have a biblical responsibility to tell you. For the same reason that I chose to publicly “expose” the sin that my father has become involved in. Someone else’s disobedience is not an excuse for you to be disobedient too. We are responsible to God Himself to be obedient. No matter what.

In May of 2016 I believe Dr. McClain chose to lie. I think he chose to outright lie about the content of 11 months of meetings, and place himself firmly in support of my father. He has not chosen to follow the biblical outline for dealing with sin, choosing rather to be partially obedient. He has done just enough to pacify his own conscience. When I asked him about going before the church, or least of all the deacon body he said “that’s not even going to happen.” It was not biblical for him to tell me to not tell anyone else at church anything about the investigation, and it was not biblical for him to respond to my tearful voicemail begging him to please call me, but instead he waited a few weeks before emailing me and telling me I should find someone else to counsel with.

This is why we left First Baptist Church of Festus Crystal City. Not because of my father, but because of what I considered blatant, unbiblical actions and the chosen path of Pastor McClain.

I would be amiss if I did not also point out that there are still a tremendous amount of good people who still attended there. PLEASE do not misinterpret my public calling out of church leadership as condemnation of a whole church body. I am well aware of the manner in which information has been used to manipulate and keep people in the dark. For those members who truly have no idea what has been going on behind the scenes, I am truly sorry. I love all of you, and the deepest desire of my heart is that we may all be reconciled. I know there are godly people at First Baptist, many of whom I am still in regular contact with. Some of them have even reached out to me here and there and I look forward to their warm embrace when we see one another around town. I even had one brother reach out to me once, and I hope that as the months go on his schedule would open up enough for him to continue our conversation. But it is sickening to hear the ongoing criminal investigation of my father regarding my mother’s death and disappearance referred to as a “family dispute.” To do so is to completely disregard and devalue my mother’s life and ministries. All while gravely downplaying open disobedience to Gods commands. I would truly like to have conversations with Dr. McClain about these issues but I fear that is not an option. The last two times that I saw him publicly, he looked right into my eyes, his face got red, and he started breathing heavy… then he physically turned his body away from me and refused to acknowledge my existence. The second time he did this I knew that it was not a case of mistaken identity.

So here is the bottom line. What are you going to do about the memorial service that is being planned at First Baptist? Remember, people don’t typically have another funeral just because they missed the first one. This is not about my mother; this is not about honoring her. If you truly seek to honor her, then walk in obedience, stand for the Word of God. Refuse to accept partial obedience, stand up for Truth. I would encourage you to follow the biblical outline, start with yourself. And in that time of self-examination ask yourself “what if it was my mom?” or sister… or daughter. How would you react to the news that the church leaders who lied to you and withdrew their support from you in the most desperate time you have ever been in, had decided to put together another service without any family involvement. But most importantly, how should you biblically respond?

08/12/2017 3 PM, I would add two things to this in response to various comments I have read.
1. I’ve heard people say for almost 3 years now that my father has not been charged with a crime yet so what can the church really do?
This is very problematic from a biblical standpoint. Go back and reread 1 Cor 5 and Mat 18. Then message me and point out to me where the Word says something about charges being filed. It’s not there. We have to stop confusing sin, with the term “crime”. Crime is sin, but legally not all sin is considered a crime. Is it a crime to cheat on your wife? Nope. Is it a sin? ABSOLUTELY. So we must stop thinking about our biblical responsibility in terms of man’s law, because it is about obedience to a higher law- Gods law.
2. There isn’t really anything more that the pastor of First Baptist can do.
Wrong. Biblically, if you are a member of First Baptist you are under the spiritual leadership of the pastor. The pastor (also referred to biblically by terms like “Shepherd” and “overseer”), is required by the Word to bring sheep who have wandered back into the fold… not passively offer lip service and watch the sheep walk off a cliff.
I would encourage Dr. McClain to have the Biblical and moral fortitude to “reign in” my father and not allow him to continue to control this service they way he is.

August 11, 2017, A letter to Lynn Messer’s church

Dear First Baptist Church Festus/Crystal City,

Friends of Lynn’s family have not been successful in their attempt to speak with your pastor, or a member of the church staff. The pastor was either on the other line, not in the office, or no one answered the phone and it went straight to voicemail; many attempts.

We’re sure your intent was not to add more hurt and stress to Lynn’s sons and extended family, but this is what’s happening. Please help all of us understand why you continue to assist Kerry Messer and gravitate toward his side of the story instead of the son’s and law enforcement’s side of the story?

We’ve been contacted by multiple people who report they have attempted to talk to the pastor about all of this, but the facts have been minimized, Kerry’s reasoning justified, and some people say they have received no answers/returned phone calls.

This is from Kerry’s Find Lynn Messer Facebook page:

“Sunshine Mission: This is Ma’s ministry of choice for people struggling with a variety of needs. During Ma’s years of cultivating her truck garden, she would take bushels of produce to Sunshine Mission. Because of its location and distance, she would usually get there after dark, or just before. So I encouraged her to take along one of her dogs. Thanks to Ma’s fearless confidence, nothing could stop her from doing anything she set her mind or heart to do. I expect to eventually donate most of Ma’s personal items myself.”

Kerry has on multiple occasions mentioned his counsel who helps him make decisions. We hope his counsel tells him how important it is for his sons to receive items that belonged to their mom, and for the grandchildren, daughter-in-law, mom, and sisters to receive something that belonged to Lynn.

Kerry clearly relies on his pastor as part of his circle of counselors. As a man of God, we; friends of Lynn and her children call on him to stand up for what is right and good. Abram and Aarron have gone to him to explain their dad’s pattern of deception, and with concerns about the relationship Kerry has with Spring Thomas – a relationship that was discovered by law enforcement just weeks following Lynn’s disappearance. These young men have endeavored to do the decent and godly thing by approaching the pastor directly.

In the past week, it has come to light that the pastor has assisted Kerry in planning a memorial service for Lynn on August 20.

He choose to meet with Kerry, plan the service with Kerry, picked the date with Kerry and we are told Pastor McClain plans to speak at the service on behalf of those who love Lynn. Were any of Lynn’s family members called?

It is reported that when the pastor encounters Abram and Elizabeth Messer around town, he refuses to speak to them. It is time for this to stop. Break free from whatever imagined power you may see Kerry as having. His actions should tell you what needs to be done. While we still await more answers surrounding what happened to Lynn, it is evident that Kerry has not been truthful with his sons, with his church or with law enforcement. He is not acting in an upright manner. It is time for you to call him to repentance and stand between evil and the innocent.

This is not a family feud. This is right and wrong. We implore you to stand on the side of righteousness.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. (Psalms 1:1-6)

Why is FBC-FCC allowing itself to listen to the counsel of a man who has not been cleared in the investigation into his wife’s death and who by his own admittance was in a relationship with a woman, not his wife, within weeks of his wife’s disappearance?

Please urge Kerry to do the right things. First and foremost, to tell what he knows about Lynn’s death. Secondly to come clean about his relationship with Spring. Next to put an end to hurting his sons further by giving away their mother’s belongings to non-family members until they’ve been given the courtesy to look through her belongings. Spring Thomas is at his house helping Kerry do this according to the source. It looks like Kerry is disposing of and giving away Lynn’s belongings and Spring is taking part in it. It is time for FBC – Festus Crystal City to rise to the level of a New Testament Church.

Is this Kerry’s retribution for his sons telling a fraction of what they know about the investigation, and the circumstances surrounding it?

Is this Kerry preparing the house for Spring Thomas’ to move in soon? Is he preparing for marriage so there will be no chance of them having to testify against each other in court; should that day arrive, and many think that day is right around the corner.

Is Spring thinking through what this is doing to innocent grandchildren? To Kerry’s sons? Spring has told sources that she wants healing to take place between Kerry and his sons; as if healing is possible while Kerry continues to act in hurtful ways toward his sons with Spring’s help.

John 13:35 says “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Is Kerry Messer showing love for anyone other than himself? He has completely cut off his children, grandchildren and in-laws.

“If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:6-7)

Please put an end to First Baptist Festus Crystal City’s part in harming Abram and Aarron Messer and cooperating with Kerry’s treatment of them.

Why is FBC-FCC having fellowship with someone who has a pattern of walking in darkness (talking a good talk, but telling a different story with his walk)?

Dear Church, you have biblical grounds to excommunicate this man from your fellowship based solely on the way he treats his sons, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren.

I, Carolyn, did hear from a member of First Baptist Church Festus/Crystal City last week. Here are some excerpts from the correspondence:

“As soon as Kerry’s relationship with Spring was confirmed, Kerry was removed from his positions as deacon and Sunday school teacher. He was told that he was not allowed to have any roles in the church, only being allowed to attend services. He has no influence whatsoever. I can understand the frustration of the sons to feel like church leadership didn’t go far enough with their discipline. Banning Kerry from the church and announcing his allegations in front of the congregation isn’t the most logical way to handle the situation.”

Then will someone please tell me why God included in his Holy scriptures the precedence for removing people from the fellowship when unconfessed and unrepentant sin is involved?

Does church leadership understand that children, young adults, and abusive husbands are all watching and getting the message that the church doesn’t believe marriage vows and biblical mandates to deal with sin are as sacred as our Lord intended them?

“I believe that the pastor shares the same hope that I do that someday Kerry will feel true conviction and repent for what he’s done. The pastor just doesn’t feel like removing him from the church completely is the right thing to do. The hope is that Kerry will feel true conviction and decide to come clean and repent.”

If this were the case; waiting for the person to feel true conviction; God would not have included scriptures for how to correctly administer church discipline.

The family’s understanding is that the church did not make the above actions known to the church membership, but instead did it quietly.

Months ago, Abram and Aarron privately went to Pastor McClain after unsuccessfully confronting their father in May 2015 about his pattern of deception and his extramarital relationship. Pastor McClain has refused to help. Abram & Aarron have explained to Pastor McClain that their father has persistently not told the truth to them or to the readers of the Find Lynn Messer page or to the local congregation at First Baptist Church Festus-Crystal City. They have explained that Kerry was already in an extramarital relationship with Spring Thomas just six weeks after Lynn disappeared – a relationship he rationalized to detectives as being necessary because he was use to having sex several times per week. Pastor McClain should by now know that Kerry and Spring are not cooperating with the investigation. Also, that Abram and Aarron have begged their dad to come clean and come to repentance. It appears Pastor McClain continues to provide support and guidance to Kerry Messer. The Missouri Baptist Convention has separated from Kerry Messer. Samaritan Ministries has separated from Kerry Messer. Even Families for Home Education (FHE) after considerable deliberation has finally separated from Kerry Messer. We would like to know, why is First Baptist Church Festus-Crystal City continuing to act on Kerry Messer’s behalf in what looks like, and family believes is, his continued deception?

Let’s pray that your pastor does the right thing. We call on him to cancel the service on August 20 and refuse to participate in Kerry’s plans. We can understand that he may want to have a service for Lynn’s friends, but allow us to remind you that they were invited to Lynn’s memorial service held in December 2016. We call on your pastor to go to Kerry and make an attempt at calling him to repentance. We call on Pastor McClain to stand up for Abram and Aarron Messer and their families as Kerry gives away precious, irreplaceable belongings of their mom. If your pastor does not act, then the church must. Now is the time for action.

Please contact the church and encourage them to stand strong and take action:

*This case is of public interest. Kerry Messer is a public figure who fund raises from the citizens of Missouri to provide professional and personal finances through his organization Missouri Family Network. Lynn Messer’s sons and extended family continue to point out moral and ethical issues they have witnessed by Kerry Messer. I do not write these posts or publish letters as a professional in any field of expertise, but rather to educate my readers from the life experiences through which I have lived. See the disclaimer in the side margin.

August 10, 2017, Aarron Messer: Spring Thomas estate a coincidence?

“I wanted to comment on the post regarding Spring’s Father’s Estate. Spring is an only child who cared for her mother and father as they passed. There were no competing claims on her estate. It’s closure has little bearing or relevance aside from the coincidence of events, it’s closure followed by mom’s disappearance. Few of us still accept coincidence as an answer.
After my Grandmother Ruby, Kerry’s mom passed away his father Darryl remarried. He moved off the farm to his new wife’s home in Perryville. Several events happened that led too my Uncle Danny being evicted from the farm after he presumptuously moved into Grandpa’s house. The eviction was forced by Kerry, and this led to Danny being cut out of the will. Kerry was to be the only inheritor of the farm.
Later Abram was asked to move into that same house by our grandfather and the house was given too him verbally by our Grandfather. Lynn and Kerry referred to the house as Abram’s house. Abram never was asked to pay any rent, in fact Abram paid the real estate taxes on his house and more than half the acreage of the farm for the more than a dozen years he lived there. He also paid Kerry for a portion of the farm insurance policy that covered the house. Further Abram paid the utilities on the house which included the well which watered the cattle on half the farm the entire time he lived there.
As our new step-grandmother aged she broke her hip. She was sent to rehab in a care facility, and grandpa went to visit her everyday. As she recovered and was due to be released from the care facility, her son announced that he held power of attorney over her and decided that she needed to stay in a nursing home. It was discovered that Arbell, Darryl’s new wife did not own the farm that they lived on in Perryville but that her son had failed to list her on the deed as he had power of attorney over her since before their wedding. This produced chaos as Grandpa was told he had to leave the home he had shared with his new bride, her son was going to evict him.
Eventually, Kerry and Lynn had Darryl move into an apartment they had prepared on the farm. Darryl would drive the 40 miles a day everyday to see his wife in a nursing home. As he began to suffer from Parkinson’s Kerry obtained power of attorney over Darryl. The nursing home threatened to sue Grandpa for his assets to pay for Arbell’s care. This threat led to what I can only describe as the most disturbing moral lapse that I had ever seen in my father up to that point. Note this was all before my wife divorced me while I am serving as a pastor and was to result in me choosing to distance myself from MFN and caused an enormous rift between myself and my family as a whole.
Kerry as power of attorney for my grandfather filed divorce proceedings between Darryl and Arbell. His defense, one that Lynn repeated because she was told it had to be this way, was that if they did not do so Abram would be forced out of his home and half the farm would be lost. Kerry had already had half the farm transferred into his own name but the portion that was Abram’s was still in Grandpa’s name. My father told me that to protect my brother he had to force the divorce between my grandfather and his bride.
In what is the most disturbing element after the divorce was finalized Arbell’s son moved her too another nursing home in secret and hid her from my grandfather so he was never able to see his wife again; something that would never have happened if Kerry hadn’t made a financial decision to “protect” Abram’s house. Not that this mattered when he suddenly demanded rent from Abram or else eviction after having lived in his own house for a dozen years. My father suggests that Abram has anger issues, if anyone should be outraged by being treated this way Abram should.
Abram had every legal right to fight Kerry in court over ownership of his home. But Kerry has clearly demonstrated that he will use legal means for personal financial gain without regard for his own family, marriage, children, his own brother or father. So can we see some kind of major story in the apparent coincidence of Spring closing her fathers estate and the immediate disappearance of Lynn? No, but do you actually believe in coincidence? I don’t.”

July 8, 2014 Lynn Messer disappeared from her home; from the bed she shared with her husband, Kerry Messer, a Missouri state lobbyist for Christian, Biblical, homeschooling, pro-life and family values.

Kerry told his sons and the authorities that a storm woke him up around 4:00 a.m. and that is when he noticed his wife was missing.

After more than two years of searches and an investigation; Lynn’s remains were found on Kerry Messer’s farm, November 1, 2016.

A cause of death has not been recorded on the death certificate at this time. It was determined that Lynn’s remains appear to have been in the elements the entire two years she was missing. Law enforcement cannot confirm if Lynn’s remains were positively in the same location the entire time; just that the remains were consistent with those that had been in the elements that amount of time.

There have been no arrests in the case and no one has been officially named as a person of interest. Law enforcement did confirm to me that Kerry Messer has not been cleared in the disappearance and death of his wife, Lynn Messer.

*Comments do not necessarily reflect the opinion of this blog. They are comments of what readers think and should not be taken as fact or evidence.

August 3, 2017, Update on Lobbyist Kerry Messer

You…you who read this blog and take action…I want to thank you for your time, heart, and accomplishment. You have once again made a difference and impact through prayer, writing letters/emails, and making phone calls.

Kerry Messer is a Missouri state lobbyist whose wife, Lynn Messer, disappeared July 8, 2014. We now know that Lynn has been deceased the entire time and I have been told by law enforcement that Kerry Messer has not been cleared in the investigation surrounding Lynn’s death.

Here is the long awaited update on our requests to have Kerry Messer removed from lobbying for various organizations in the state of Missouri. Kerry has lobbied for homeschooling rights, family values, right to life causes, Samaritan’s Ministry/health sharing, gun safety, Christian child care, the Missouri Southern Baptist Convention, and Christian/biblical values. We think conflicting dialogue by Kerry about his wife and her disappearance, his detrimental treatment of his sons and their families, and his ongoing relationship with Spring Thomas while his wife was missing for 2+ years show Kerry is not above reproach, and are valid reasons for his removal from all of these organizations; but especially from Families for Home Education.

Your appeals are working!

I’ll start with the best result: Families for Home Education officially dropped Kerry Messer from their principal/lobbyist listing as reported on the Missouri Ethics Commission website. Although I was saddened and frustrated by FHE’s lack of desire to biblically deal with this earlier, I’m grateful they finally decided to protect homeschool parents and children from the ramifications of being associated with, and represented by, Kerry Messer at the state level. Thank you for not taking “no” as an answer from FHE. Your persistence paid off! They have not removed Kerry Messer from their website, so it looks like FHE may still be associated with him. I have yet to see a statement from the FHE board addressing their reasoning for removing Kerry Messer.

FHE still needs to take down pictures and articles referring to Kerry Messer. Please call FHE leaders and remind them that the website needs updated to reflect that Kerry Messer no longer lobbies for the homeschooling community. As you can see in the below FHE contact list; and the last I knew, they were having a difficult time finding people willing to serve FHE in leadership positions.

Next, Samaritan Ministries International also discontinued their association with Kerry Messer. This took some back and forth dialogue from “yes, he still lobbies for us and we believe in innocent until proven guilty” to…”he hasn’t worked for us for 10 years.” Samaritan Ministries dropped Kerry Messer 5/16/2017.

Alliance for Life, phone # 417-598-1040: Works mainly with Sam Lee. They do not currently employ Kerry or anyone else as a lobbyist. They need to be encouraged to call the Missouri Ethics Commission and have Kerry’s name deleted from their listing. Missouri Ethics Commission phone (MEC) # (573) 751-2020.

Americans United for Life, phone # 312-492-7234: There has been no success in reaching a representative. Another reader contacted Americans United for Life on June 6 and again on July 12; by email and through Facebook, but has not received a response. They continue to be listed on the MEC website as one of Kerry’s principals. If you would like to call them, please encourage them to contact MEC # (573) 751-2020 if they desire to delete Kerry Messer as their lobbyist.

I spoke with MISSOURI ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN CHILD CARE AGENCIES, INC. (phone # 660-347-5982) around the first of April. MACCCA was contacted two more times but has not responded and MACCCA is still listed on the MEC website. If they want to remove Kerry Messer on the MEC listing they need to call MEC: phone # (573) 751-2020.

Missouri Family Network is Kerry Messer’s own organization from which he works in Jefferson City.

Missourians for Personal Safety, phone # 816-455-2669 recently said that Kerry hasn’t worked for them for years. This is a completely different statement than I received in April 2017, when I spoke with Kevin Jamison. I’m not sure why they gave two different statements.

April 2017: Yes, Kerry represents them. They have been pleased with how Kerry has been very honest, upfront, and forthright with updates on everything. Kerry informed them when Lynn went missing, Kerry told them about his relationship with the other woman, told them when Lynn’s remains were found, and informed them when he, Kerry, secured Lynn’s dental records for the authorities; and just in time because they were about to be destroyed. Mr. Jamison said everybody but Kerry (referring to his colleagues, knew Kerry’s wife was dead and wouldn’t be returning).

Missourians for Personal Safety may need reminded to have their deletion of Kerry as their lobbyist reflected on the record at the Missouri Ethics Commission. MEC Phone # (573) 751-2020.

Thank you for you caring attention to help protect the Christian and family value voter’s interests in the state of Missouri. You made a difference!

UPDATE: 8/3/2017, 8:40 AM: I received word that FHE is restructuring its lobbying efforts in Jeff City.

July 24, 2017, Again I ask… Where’s the church?

The Lynn Messer case

I’m grateful more people are picking up this story. Let’s keep this in the public’s eye and pray that law enforcement is nearing making an arrest. The question in my mind at this time is will it be one arrest or two arrests? Did Kerry Messer have anything to do with his wife’s death…as in murder? If so, did Spring Thomas help, have knowledge, or conceal evidence or knowledge after the fact?

The investigation remains open and tips were still being called in to law enforcement as of a month ago; the last time I spoke with a detective on the case.

Here is a bit more information that reader Cheryl Summers added to, Again I ask…Where’s the church?

“Wow, wow, wow! What a great article! An amazing summation of the most troubling angles of this case. The only thing that Holly missed was that the relationship between Kerry and Spring seems like it was probably in place way before 8 weeks after Lynn’s death. Spring was asked to give a statement to police only about a month after and then promptly hired an attorney and stopped cooperating with police. From ‘Who is Spring Thomas?” – “At the six week point of the investigation into moms disappearance Spring confirmed in a written statement that she was in fact in a relationship with my dad. After she made her statement to police she messaged Abram and in an odd conversation asked Abram if it was appropriate for her to continue to participate in searches?” https://chocolateorelse.wordpress.com/…/who-is-spring…/

This article is from Aarron Messer’s Facebook page. He has given me permission to print it in its entirety. Our…

CHOCOLATEORELSE.WORDPRESS.COM

Here is part of Holly Ashley’s article:

In July of 2014, the wife of a Missouri state lobbyist for Christian, Biblical, homeschooling, pro-life, and family values – disappeared. Kerry Messer stated that he woke up at 4:00 am from the noisy storm, realizing that his wife was not in bed. According Mr. Messer, Lynn simply walked away from her bed in the middle of the night, in the midst of a raging storm… She did not take her phone or her wedding ring or any personal items for that matter. In addition, Mr. Messer would like for the church to believe that Mrs. Messer simply decided to leave the house, the children, her Vacation Bible School commitment, and her grandchildren behind.

Prior to the police search and rescue attempt – Mr. Messer had the cattle moved across the property – and he mowed his grass… removing any chance of trace evidence, let alone scent for the dogs to follow.

But, after THREE YEARS, Lynn Messer’s body was found on the property – incidentally, right where police and rescue workers had been – three years earlier – wearing their GPS tracking suits.

Mr. Messer has tampered with evidence, lied to the family and friends of Mrs. Messer, lied to police on multiple occasions. Mr. Messer has failed to pass a polygraph test- twice. Mr. Messer began dating another woman 8 weeks after his wife’s “disappearance.” Mr. Messer is still under investigation by police – he has not been cleared to the date of this publication.

But the most disgusting thing about this case was that the two sons of Mr. and Mrs. Messer went before the church asking for help – and to this day, there has been no disciplinary action taken whatsoever. This a man who is representing “The Church” at the highest level! Yet, no disciplinary action – no public statement – by the church, has been made.

Although it is true that the police have not yet charged or convicted Mr. Messer, it does not negate the duties of the church to rise up and do their covenantal duty to the Lord.

July 3, 2017, Lynn Messer: Care and Share

Do you remember the first time you heard about Lynn’s disappearance? I do, and it captured my interest and heart from the get-go. Obviously it captured yours too. You have been passionate about truth, caring toward the family, and waiting for answers.

I’ve blogged 45 times about Lynn’s story over the last year to help keep this mystery in the public’s eye, to honor her memory, and to tell her story through the voice of her sons and their families.

I’ve heard from many of you over the last year. I appreciate that some of you have considered what you may know, through hind sight, and been willing to talk to law enforcement about your knowledge.

As the 3rd anniversary of Lynn’s disappearance/death approaches, it’s time for her family to find closure and truth as to how her life ended. Law enforcement has worked countless hours and I imagine the investigation is on their minds even in their off duty hours. The sheriff’s office continues to investigate while the FBI runs forensics tests; looking for a cause of death so they can determine if they need to take the investigation in a different direction, or if crime was committed.

For the family, retaining an attorney and/or an investigator of their own will help them navigate the process. An upfront cost of $40,000 was quoted for this extensively involved case; a major expense that most people can’t fund from their own bank accounts. So…let’s ALL do this together. Let’s unify, donate, and help bring ongoing questions to an end…for Lynn, for her loved ones, and for her legacy.

A donation of $10 per reader will help them reach the goal of paying a lawyer’s retainer fee. If you can’t do $10, do whatever you can afford.

Thank you for your loving, generous support donated on behalf of Lynn’s family. May they soon have the answers for which they’ve been waiting.

Won’t it feel good to know you were able to participate in their journey, and in Lynn’s justice!

Please forward this link, on social media or by email, and help urgently share this need.

The YOUCARING compassionate fundraising website is quick and easy using a credit card or PayPal. I have made donations on this sight in the past, and to #JusticeForLynn, and can testify that it is professional and safe for your financial transaction.

*Note: YOUCARING will give you a box to make a donation to the family, and a separate box to make a donation to YOUCARING. You many enter any denomination in the YOUCARING donation field;—including 0.00

For those of you who have followed the Lynn Messer case I am posting her son Abram Messer’s statement which he released to the media today. (If you are new to this case you may click “Lynn Messer” in the margin or header; depending on the media platform you use.)

Photo Credit: J.B. Forbes, St. Louis Post Dispatch

PRESS RELEASE: DISCLAIMER: This press release is Abrams opinion. I will preface it with he thinks this, but it has not been proven and no arrest has been made. Please recognize that their memories of the events described in this press release may differ.

So as many of you are aware, I’ve been getting calls from media outlets in light of the information we received yesterday. Here is the statement which I have released:

“Our family is both saddened and heartbroken over the actions that my father has chosen.

No one should be surprised at the devastation which comes from choosing sin. But God is faithful and just to cleanse, forgive and restore us through the blood of the Lamb. He is also a God of justice, and we will stay the course in seeking that justice. So we are renewing our call in begging my father to come clean, and tell the truth so he can experience the peace which only comes through Gods forgiveness.”

There are many Christians who have deliberately decided to twist the Word of God only talking about forgiveness, choosing to ignore Gods commands for His people to be a people who pursue justice…. my friends this has nothing to do with vengeance. We are commanded by God Himself to stand for truth. We are commanded by God Himself to call out sin publicly (after we follow the Biblical steps confronting that sin privately; which yes we have done), no matter how much it hurts.

Why? Because whatever pain and heartbreak we experience through out that process-—it is nothing compared to the spiritual pain and heartache which comes from complacency.

Please continue to lift our family up before the Throne of Grace. He is faithful… and I must decrease so that He will increase. Whatever you may be going through in your life remember that God is faithful and just to cleanse and forgive. But to receive His forgiveness and restoration we must all acknowledge our sin before Him. His long suffering love which He extends to us has limits which only He can define—for rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. Repent, turn to Christ—only then will you experience His peace and rest. For when we plant our feet upon The Rock… there is no storm which can shake you.

Last night, I sent this to the St. Genevieve County Sheriff, Major Schott and copied the Attorney General’s office.

“I am highly concerned about the lack of activity surrounding the disappearance – and now we know – death of Lynn Messer. Based on the publicly available information, it would seem that Kerry Messer was most certainly involved somehow in her death. I can only assume that law enforcement has even more information pointing in his direction. Nearly three years after her disappearance and nearly a year after the discovery of her body, we still have no action being taken toward Mr. Messer. It would seem that the Sheriff’s department did not adequately search the property in those early days or that the body was subsequently brought to the property after it was searched. Either way, action is called for here.

Today, I’ve learned that the St. Genevieve County coroner released the body to Mr. Messer only to have him take it over state lines into Arkansas without the knowledge of Lynn’s sons, sisters or mother. It would seem that the Sheriff’s department as the lead investigative agency would have certainly known that the body was going to be released and understanding the circumstances, they could have let Lynn’s family members know what was about to take place. These family members could have sought injunctive relief to block the release of the body to Kerry given the high level of suspicion surrounding him and his lack of honesty with Lynn’s family members as well as his reported lack of cooperation – and his girlfriend’s lack of cooperation – with the investigation. Unfortunately, St. Genevieve County didn’t afford Lynn’s family this option. That adds another layer of tragedy upon an already tragic situation.

I called Carl Kinskey’s office several months ago about the progress on the investigation and he said he was just waiting on the Sheriff’s department. Why hasn’t information been sent over to the prosecuting attorney’s office? Where’s the grand jury? Is this an open investigation at this time? I certainly hope that the Sheriff’s office isn’t withholding information from the prosecuting attorney’s office waiting for some kind of air tight case to develop in this very bizarre circumstance. I urge you to send the information you have on the investigation to the prosecuting attorney. “

Find Lynn Messer page update…

Did anyone else notice? Kerry changed the “Find Lynn Messer” Facebook page cover photo. It now says the page is “authority-sanctioned.” The sheriff’s office confirmed to me a year ago that Kerry and Spring have not been cooperating with the investigation since their relationship was revealed to investigators. Which authorities is Kerry referring to?

The same cover photo says Lynn is missing as of 7/8/14. Why did Kerry not include that she was found?

And here is what Kerry Messer has to say about the ongoing investigation:

Lynn Messer secretly transported across state lines and buried

Aarron, Abram, and Elizabeth contacted family members this morning so they heard it from them first instead of from media.

Rumors have been circulating for the last 2-3 weeks that Lynn’s remains were going to be released to Kerry Messer in the near future. Kerry has posted on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page that he intended to obtain Lynn’s remains soon.

My sources told me that Kerry informed his church First Baptist Church Festus/Crystal City that he in fact obtained her remains and buried them yesterday. Lynn’s remains rest next to Grandma Messer. According to the funeral home a pastor was present at the grave side service; along with, Kerry, an unnamed woman, and two of Kerry’s relatives who were named.

Lynn’s sons had remained hopeful that as long as the investigation was ongoing their mom’s remains would not be released. They have reached out to investigators but do not yet have answers.

Aarron spoke with his dad, Kerry Messer, on two separate occasions this morning and this is what Aarron says transpired:

Aarron: “I heard that you buried mother yesterday?”

Kerry: “Why do you care?”

Aarron: “She’s my mother.”

Kerry: “And I’m supposed to be your dad.”

Aarron: “You…are…”

According to Aarron, Kerry hung up on him mid-sentence.

Kerry also stated that Lynn was buried by “the only family she has left, that actually love her.”

“This is who supporters of MFN are endorsing. A man who takes the body of his children’s mother from the coroner in secret and buries her without a word to her own children, her mother, or her sisters; all out of spite because he is the primary suspect in her disappearance and death.”

Lynn’s remains were released from the St. Louis coroner’s office last week and Kerry had her remains transported to Arkansas. They were cleared yesterday and buried the same day. The sheriff’s office did not have a say in how this transpired; it was up to the coroner. The husband, even if he were sitting in jail, has control of the remains.

Was this a controlling, abusive act Kerry committed against his sons and their families?

This is no quick commute for Aarron’s and Abram’s families, or for Lynn’s side of the family to visit Lynn’s gravesite. What else can a father do to traumatize his children?

Lynn’s remains rest in Walcott, Arkansas, in Mount Zion Cemetery under the direction of Heath Funeral Home in Paragould, Arkansas.

Like Aarron, I too thought of organizations who continue to retain Kerry as their state lobbyist. Families for Home Education, is this the type of parents you are? Do you treat your own children in this way, or do you consider this highly dysfunctional? Why do you want someone like this representing you?

Make no mistake; Lynn’s remains being released to Kerry Messer in no way indicates he is no longer a part of the investigation into Lynn’s disappearance and death. The case is open and active with new information still being received by the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office.

*Correction: Lynn ‘ s remains were released from the Ste. Genevieve County coroner.

*Opinions expressed are not from me. There has not been an arrest made in this case and no one is presumed guilty until proven in a court of law.

June 29, 2017, Lynn Messer secretly transported across state lines and buried

Aarron, Abram, and Elizabeth contacted family members this morning so they heard it from them first instead of from media.

Rumors have been circulating for the last 2-3 weeks that Lynn’s remains were going to be released to Kerry Messer in the near future. Kerry has posted on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page that he intended to obtain Lynn’s remains soon.

My sources told me that Kerry informed his church First Baptist Church Festus/Crystal City that he in fact obtained her remains and buried them yesterday. Lynn’s remains rest next to Grandma Messer. According to the funeral home a pastor was present at the grave side service; along with, Kerry, an unnamed woman, and two of Kerry’s relatives who were named.

Lynn’s sons had remained hopeful that as long as the investigation was ongoing their mom’s remains would not be released. They have reached out to investigators but do not yet have answers.

Aarron spoke with his dad, Kerry Messer, on two separate occasions this morning and this is what Aarron says transpired:

Aarron: “I heard that you buried mother yesterday?”

Kerry: “Why do you care?”

Aarron: “She’s my mother.”

Kerry: “And I’m supposed to be your dad.”

Aarron: “You…are…”

According to Aarron, Kerry hung up on him mid-sentence.

Kerry also stated that Lynn was buried by “the only family she has left, that actually love her.”

“This is who supporters of MFN are endorsing. A man who takes the body of his children’s mother from the coroner in secret and buries her without a word to her own children, her mother, or her sisters; all out of spite because he is the primary suspect in her disappearance and death.”

Lynn’s remains were released from the St. Louis coroner’s office last week and Kerry had her remains transported to Arkansas. They were cleared yesterday and buried the same day. The sheriff’s office did not have a say in how this transpired; it was up to the coroner. The husband, even if he were sitting in jail, has control of the remains.

Was this a controlling, abusive act Kerry committed against his sons and their families?

This is no quick commute for Aarron’s and Abram’s families, or for Lynn’s side of the family to visit Lynn’s gravesite. What else can a father do to traumatize his children?

Lynn’s remains rest in Walcott, Arkansas, in Mount Zion Cemetery under the direction of Heath Funeral Home in Paragould, Arkansas.

The case remains open and active with new information still being received by the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office.

*Correction: Lynn ‘ s remains were released from the Ste. Genevieve County coroner.

June 4, 2017, Lynn Messer: On Her Birthday

Today marks Lynn Messer’s 55th birthday. Her last birthday on earth was celebrated a few weeks before her disappearance/death in 2014 at age 52. Today we will honor Lynn’s memory with photos of loved ones, and people she ministered to, who brought her great joy and purpose.

I continue to think of Lynn’s family; especially today as they remember her, miss her, and long for answers surrounding her death.

Please say a prayer for them that they will receive great comfort, clear answers, and Sovereign justice from their Heavenly Father.

Family, friends, and law enforcement are currently waiting for pathology and forensic reports to be completed and turned in to the F.B.I. There is no time line for this testing and the case remains open.

I still remember the morning our local homeschool group was notified that Missouri State Lobbyist, Kerry Messer’s wife, Lynn Messer was reported missing from the family farm in the middle of the night. Our homeschool group was notified for prayer support and help searching for Lynn. My background of studying domestic abuse immediately sent up a red flag since most women who disappear, or who are murdered, are victims at the hands of their husband or significant other.

For over two years Lynn’s family did not know where she was or if she was still alive. Her remains were found November, 2016, on the family farm on the far side of the cow pasture that had been in question since Lynn’s scent trail was originally found there by search dogs. The same cow pasture where Kerry Messer insisted his son Abram move the cows in the early morning hours of Lynn’s disappearance before the police had been called. It has been verified by investigators that Abram did not move the cows by choice, but rather at the demand of his father. The question remains; did Kerry purposefully destroy evidence of Lynn’s trail and location?

It was reported by the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Department that Kerry Messer said the last time he saw his wife was before going to bed just before mid-night. Messer said he awoke to the sound of a storm and realized his wife was missing from their bed. He told the authorities that he searched the 250 acre property and came to the conclusion Lynn was not there.

*Click on quotes below for original published internet article and author.

Lynn’s sons Abram and Aarron have pointed out that Aarron was the person who called the police. Their statements have been confirmed by the recorded 911 tapes that were aired on Investigation Discovery Channel Disappeared: American Gothic.

According to the Ste. Genevieve Sheriff’s office, Spring Thomas admitted that she has been in a relationship with Kerry Messer since at least eight weeks after Lynn’s disappearance. Lynn’s sons believe it was significantly earlier than the given time line. Friends say they have seen Kerry with Spring, and he has been known to bring her to lunch/business appointments with him.

On Kerry’s Facebook page: Find Lynn Messer he still actively writes about his shredded heart, his loneliness, his lengthy stories about himself, and the memories of “Ma” his “Bride” interspersed with what seems like contempt for Lynn while telling all the things she couldn’t do right.

The Lynn Messer case remains open and the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Department maintains custody of Lynn’s remains. The family has told me that Kerry’s wish for Lynn’s remains, when they are released, is that they be donated to science. This is not the wish of Abram’s family or Lynn’s side of the family. After over two years of not knowing where Lynn was they do not wish for her remains to disappear. They want to know, “she’s at rest, and that they will have a place to take the grand kids and say goodbye.”

There have been no arrests made in the disappearance or death of Lynn Messer as of this date.

May 9, 2017, Aarron Messer: Prison, Love, Desertion

Photo Credit: J.B. Forbes, jforbes@post-dispatch.com

Lynn Messer was thought to be missing almost three years ago on July 8, 2014. Her husband Kerry Messer, 57, a conservative Jefferson City lobbyist, claims he woke in the early morning hours at his Ste. Genevieve home to find his then 52-year-old wife missing.

We now know Lynn was not missing, but deceased. Her skeletal remains were discovered on Nov. 1, 2016, in the woods on the back edge of one of the family farm’s cow pastures.

Kerry, on the morning of July 8, 2014, demanded multiple times for his son Abram to move the cows across the area where Lynn’s scent trail would be found later that morning, this trail led to the cow pasture where Lynn’s remains were found. This has been confirmed by the Ste. Genevieve Sheriff’s Office (Also reported on: Investigation Discovery: Disappeared -American Gothic.)

Aarron Messer and his daughters were scouting the same cow pasture for areas to hunt on Nov. 1, 2016, when one of Aarron’s daughters spotted what she thought was a human skull. Aarron, upon closer look, confirmed it and instantly believed it was his mom’s remains. The authorities were called and the woods were immediately considered a crime scene while the sheriff’s department, along with the FBI, collected forensic evidence to help find answers.

At this time forensics have confirmed that Lynn was in the elements the entire time. There are still no results on the cause of death and soil sample results have not been released.

Once again, Aarron Messer is allowing me to share a personal letter from his Facebook page. These are his words through which he shares his opinion of what he thinks transpired in the middle of the night and early morning hours of July 8, 2014. Aarron confirms Abram’s claims that they did not abandon their father; but rather, Kerry deserted his entire family.

From Aarron Joseph Messer:

I want to share with you all my heart.

In many ways it hurts to imagine all the worst possible reasons my mother ended up where she was left. I don’t want to accept or embrace those theories yet I cannot deny the obvious. In my heart I want to believe in an answer much simpler than all the theories.

I would like you to know that in my heart I see a frustrated and confused Kerry. Maybe he had an affair, maybe he didn’t. Maybe he killed my mother, maybe it was suicide, maybe it was an accident, a fight, an argument gone wrong, maybe she accidentally overdosed on pills, or maybe she had a heart attack or blood clot and died in the middle of the night.

However it happened the undeniable is that my father had my mother’s dead body in front of him. In that moment of irrational fear, shame, remorse…whatever it was; he moved her into the woods. Whether it was a premeditated act or just an impulse—he made a horrible decision. He covered it up, he lied, and I called the police. Abram and Elizabeth didn’t tell the story he wanted told. I am certain he thought they would discover her body years ago. But he had already lied. There was no going back and there was no coming clean. His lies were told so much and so often it became truth to him, truth that had to be the way it was. At this point he doesn’t know what’s true, and he will not come clean. He believes his own lies.

Forgive me, but no matter about all the other stuff– insurance, affairs, any of it, I know he hid her and I know he knew where she was 100% of the time. I just could care less though about all the other stuff. His lies are more than enough—and those lies—that’s what hurts me. I may be abrupt or defensive, it’s not just my whole life and family in question, it’s everything.

I believe in justice and my father belongs in prison. I love him still and I will visit him in prison, but I will stand on the victims side of the court and I will take the stand against him for my mother. But my dad has not been deserted by us, he has left us.

April 28, 2017, Lynn Messer Case: Top 12 Lies

Thank you to Abram Messer for once again taking time to answer questions surrounding the investigation of his mom, Lynn Messer’s death.

Today we are pointing out false claims that were made during the early days of Lynn Messer’s disappearance; or what we now know was her death.

Here are the top 12:

On the morning of Lynn’s disappearance, Kerry stated to the Sheriff’s Department that Lynn had never been depressed and had never taken any kind of antidepressants. False: Lynn suffered from depression for years and was taking antidepressants. Facts which many family members were aware of, even Kerry himself was fully aware of this, referring to Lynn’s antidepressants as her “happy pills”.

During Kerry’s time line of the first morning he told the police he didn’t leave the farm. False: He left his phone at home and left the farm. He only admitted to having left the farm after he failed the polygraph in May of 2015. Why would you leave your phone at home when looking for your lost wife? What if you found her hurt, harmed or worse? You would need the phone to call for help. It seems like the most important tool you would want to have with you while searching for a missing person. Well…unless…possibly you don’t want your location to be pinged by law enforcement?

Kerry has been cooperating with law enforcement. False: Law enforcement revealed in April of 2015 that Kerry was not cooperating with the investigation, and had not been “for quite some time.” All just before investigators informed family members of his new relationship with Spring Thomas.

Spring Thomas is just a family friend who has been helping him cope, helping him with eating, and caring for him. False: We know according to law enforcement she has admitted to being in a relationship with Kerry at least 8 weeks after Lynn went missing. Abram has messages from Spring that date the time to at least 6 weeks after Lynn went missing, but he thinks the romantic relationship predated his mom’s death. He has based this upon the previous years of watching his father interact with Spring. In fact, before Abram knew anything about Kerry’s relationship with Spring, he expressed concern to his father about their inappropriate behavior around one another in the past as well as their behavior around each other when Spring showed up for organized searches to help look for Lynn, after Lynn’s disappearance, on the family farm.

Kerry told law enforcement the first morning that he didn’t make copies of the note.False: He made multiple copies of the note before the police arrived. Months later investigators found out from third parties that Kerry had made copies of the note and was showing it around, but not showing it to his sons.When questioned again about making the copies, Kerry responded by saying “because I knew this was going to be a long drawn out ordeal, and I didn’t know when I was going to get the note back.” So once again investigators scratched their heads wondering, how could he possibly know that this was going to be “a long drawn out ordeal” because that’s certainly not what he told the public, or the family. He took those copies; cutting the note in two and claims to have burned the other half of the note. In one of the more bizarre interactions when the investigators were asking Kerry about that portion of the note, he said, “I told her not to write that.” The officer asking him stopped and said “what did you tell her not to write?” And Kerry said, “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to correct myself, I did not just say I told her not to write that- that is not what I said.” He has never explained how or what he could have meant by that. Just that he accidentally let slip that he watched her write the note, and that he criticized what she had written, and maybe that explains why he cut out that portion of the note and burned it. Perhaps he knows that it doesn’t have anything to do with Lynn’s disappearance?

The note: Kerry told law enforcement and media he didn’t understand the note and it didn’t make sense. False: He told his sons that law enforcement demanded he, Kerry, not talk to his sons about the note. False: In private he told Abram and Aarron he understood the note and understood it from the beginning. Aarron’s daughter commented nonchalantly “Grandma didn’t write that.” “What do you mean?” Aarron asked. She replied, “Grandma didn’t call grandpa, “Pa” she called him “Pop.” That’s correct. Grandpa would get so frustrated and correct her because he wanted to be called Pa, but she called him “Pop.” These facts and others have only been complicated by the way Kerry took a portion of the note which he retained, enlarged it, and enhanced the lettering for a TV interview he orchestrated.

Different articles and Facebook posts over the last two years led readers to believe Lynn’s husband, Kerry, was the one who called the sheriff’s office. Several media outlets have stated that Kerry called 911. False: Kerry had over four hours in which he could have called law enforcement—but did not. At least a four hour window of time for Lynn to have been missing exists, but if one retraces the timeline there are possibly eight hours of missing time during which something could have happened to Lynn.

Kerry passed his polygraph. False: Kerry (that we know of) has taken two polygraph tests. The first one, was considered “inconclusive” and the second polygraph which he took in May of 2015 was considered an outright failure.

On Facebook Kerry publicly pines away for his “bride.” False: In private he pursued secret and private rendezvous with another woman. Even after claiming that his relationship with Spring is on hold, he still continues to actively lie and hide her. Abram describes; “He puts on a public act of piety. In private engaging in sin. The word of God repeatedly warns us about making a public profession while our hearts are far from God. We must all be aware of the biblical cautions for attempting to “serve God and man.” These attempts to serve God while secretly gratifying our own lusts exemplifies what the word of God calls a double minded man who is unstable in all his ways.”

Kerry and Lynn were happy in a loving and abiding marriage. False: There have been witnesses step forward with contrary testimony of what took place in the marriage. See: Lynn Messer: Random Thoughts Abram explains, “He had deliberately misrepresented their marriage, relationship, and family structure. They did not have a healthy marriage. Loving husbands do not hide financial information from wives. Christ honoring husbands love there wives as Christ loved the church. Kerry’s relationship even by his own story telling seems to be one which required Lynn to make personal sacrifices while he enjoyed the public accolades of political achievement. Not the biblical picture of husbands sacrificially giving themselves to their wives. For years his public story telling on Facebook is one which defames Lynn’s honor, promotes himself, while minimizing the severity and impact of his own unbiblical view of marriage.” The Facebook stories seem to be full of fabrications and untruths; according to family members who can recall the real stories.

Lastly, I will allow Abram to once again use his words. After all the boys have been through they deserve to tell it from their viewpoint; not Kerry’s Find Lynn Messer Facebook version; or how he has deliberately misrepresented the investigation, and especially his family. Kerry has claimed that his son Abram who worked for him in the capital for over a decade has mental problems, and Kerry has accused his entire family of abandoning him and turning their backs on him. False: “Kerry has gone to great lengths to tell absurd and unfounded stories and accusations for the sole purpose of misrepresenting his own children. These obvious attempts on his part to control the narrative reveals not only his own desperation but his desires to suppress the truth. Including but not limited to a consistent theme claiming that he has been abandoned by his family. By all accounts public and private; Kerry’s family members have repeatedly begged him for reconciliation and pleaded for truth and honesty so that Kerry can come to a right relationship with the Lord. Instead, my father has turned his back on us and accused us of abandoning him. When in fact he himself has abandoned his self-professed personal ethos. Choosing the pleasure of sin for a season over the freedom and forgiveness which God himself offers.”

Abram’s closing statement:The word of God talks extensively about forensics over and over again. We are told things like love covers a multitude of sins. When at all possible live at peace with all men. There is a great balance between these commands and the biblical commands to publicly call out sin; to publicly appeal to the unrepentant heart. We are commanded to show no partiality in the calling out of sin especially sin that exists in the church or a Christian brother…. or father. We are responsible before God to bring a fallen brother back to the Lord. Before any information became public the family attempted to follow the biblical outline addressing the issues in private and never spoke a word publicly until after the church refused to follow the biblical guidelines. We must remember the purpose of all of this is not to attack, it is not hatred, it is not anger, it is not lashing out, but it is tearful obedience to the commands of God. We don’t get to pick and choose what parts of the Word we feel like being obedient to. Gods Word commands us to publicly call out the unrepentant heart. We all have a responsibility before God to stand for what is right; no matter how hard it is. We will all answer to the Great Judge and give an account for every word and deed. The truth is not contingent upon who knows it or who believes it. The truth does not change because it is a hard pill to swallow. The truth doesn’t change because we don’t like it. It doesn’t change because it is uncomfortable; in fact, the word of God tells us that the truth is not easy. It tells us rather that people will hate us for speaking it. It tells us we must be willing to give everything for the cause of Christ… our home, the things that we love, the job that we love, and even the people we love so that we may walk upright before God.”

April 26, 2017, Lynn Messer: Random Thoughts

Today I’m answering criticisms Kerry has made at journalists, media outlets, and writers like me on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

I’ve not made one penny from blogging so I’m not padding my pockets. I blog for one reason only: Out of obedience to a calling on my life to listen to and pray for women living in abusive ‘Christian’ relationships.

I have no advertisers. I receive no gifts, or financial compensation for the countless hours I spend researching and writing. I do this while homeschooling my children, ministering to numerous local women who are deep in the middle of abuse (or leaving abuse), and while suffering from multiple auto-immune diseases that rack my body with pain, illness and extreme fatigue.

Here’s another random fact. I have several friends living with diseases that rack their bodies with pain, illness, extreme fatigue, joint replacements, insomnia and/or cancer. None of them have committed suicide. Nor have any of my dear friends who have, or are currently living through, unimaginable, unsafe, abusive marriages committed suicide. Do they become depressed? Of course! It’s impossible not to when living in the middle of such trauma.

According to the Sheriff, (as I understand it) it has been determined that Ma’s remains were in their discovered location the entire time we had been looking for her. There are still far too many unanswered questions which remain, including several newer ones from the discovery and the Sheriff’s release of this detail. This assumption does not necessarily come directly from the sheriff but rather from a reporter who may have taken liberties with the information given to them. The statement was,

“THE ST. LOUIS COUNTY MEDICAL EXAMINER’S OFFICE STATES IT APPEARS MESSER’S BODY WAS OUT THERE (in the elements) FOR THE TWO YEAR TIME PERIOD.” The statement said nothing about the body being in the same location the entire time. (I will work on confirming this for a next blog post.)

But at least the scope of accusations and attacks have been narrowed by the limited details we at least know for now. Prayerfully additional information may be released that could further narrow the garbage being thrown about by haters. (Certainly no one has stepped forward to admit their false accusations in light of the few things we now know – so I am not holding my breath that any of the haters will have enough integrity to apologize for their attacks.) Lynn’s remains were found on the farm; where we thought they would be found. There is no proof that it was suicide. I think a criminal’s days are numbered. “Mene mene tekel upharsin” Daniel 5. As I have discovered waiting for past investigations to conclude; time is not on the defendant’s side but rather the prosecution’s. I think they are tidying up. I wish they had a tighter time frame for doing this so the family can feel safe, find some amount of closure, and achieve a type of justice for Lynn.

Why or how can so many people, who have never in their lives ever seen or met Ma, think they can be so certain of what happened to her when they have never even so much as looked at her? No one truly knows anyone simply by looking “at” them anyway. You have to look “up” towards someone before you can begin to understand who they are in the first place.

Many of these women have seen and met Lynn. Some of them knew Lynn well. I’m the only one who never personally met Lynn.

For two years Lynn’s story burned in my heart and mind to the point I realized it was a calling. Truly, I didn’t want to act on the calling. I had enough stress in my life without adding any more. I just wanted peace and comfort; and a large helping of it.

For the women who did meet or know Lynn these are the comments I’ve heard from them:

“Knowing that she’s missing; I’ll never forget the first time I met her. I was at a dinner in Jefferson City seated at the same table with Kerry and Lynn. He talked non-stop with most subjects coming back to circle around him. Lynn didn’t look up or participate in the conversation. She was extremely quiet. In my gut I knew something was wrong in her marriage; I suspected abuse.”

“I met her at a fund raiser that she attended with Kerry. She was quiet and didn’t speak much and seemed nervous much of the night.”

“Yes I knew Lynn, yes I knew things most church people didn’t know because those topics were “off limits” at church and if you didn’t conform you were shunned. I was an abused wife at one point in my life. Life with an abuser behind closed doors is a living hell. Lynn’s life was no bed of roses as her husband protests it was, she just never shared it openly. The county is a “good old boy” county so when you have political pull as he does folks tend to overlook what is right in front of their faces. This is a man who doesn’t mind parking in a handicapped spot at church blocking those who need it and when called to his attention would just say “I’m bad” leaving his car in the handicapped spot without having the legal right to do so. This may seem petty but for a man who professes to be “godly” he doesn’t mind breaking the law. “

“I met Kerry and Lynn at a large dinner engagement. Kerry was very domineering and talkative. Lynn sat silently, sadly and I don’t think she even spoke that night. My heart went out to her then, and then all these years later when she disappeared, I just cannot get the images of that night and the feeling I felt in my soul that she was a controlled, sad woman out of my mind and heart.”

“Lynn and I go back several years through church. She told me of abusive things that were going on in her marriage. I think Kerry will be shocked to find out how much investigators know. What Kerry claims on the Find Lynn Messer page was not Lynn’s reality.”

My calling to be a voice for women like Lynn reminded me of several years ago when my son had an accident and I was in the E.R. with him. I was clueless as to the seriousness of my son’s injury since it could not be seen. I could feel the weight of the Holy Spirit upon me; communicating to my heart, soul, mind and strength; “Pray for his life. This is your spiritual heritage in the Lord. Seek it.” The physical pressure to go to my knees; to my face was overwhelming. Right in the middle of the E.R.; in the hallway outside the C.T. scan…praying boldly, quickly, obediently…then the doors opened and I was told the life flight helicopter would be there in 19 minutes. “Your son has an epidural hematoma; a severe brain bleed—a severe traumatic brain injury.”

The same overwhelming sense I experienced in the E.R. came as “Do it. Speak for Lynn. Tell your story. Be obedient and use your past pain to have a positive impact. Trust Me.”

I have no idea to this day what the Lord’s full purpose is. I’m not saying Kerry Messer is guilty in the death of his wife. I’m just being courageous enough to say something seems odd. I’m saying that many abused women can testify that abuse or wrongful death is within the realm of possibility. I’m saying that after my extensive background of studying personality disorders, because nothing makes you more interested in such a topic than having to live with such a person, that I think I notice similarities.

My biggest fear in being obedient was that I would channel my past pain and experiences on some poor innocent person.

The consequences of my obedience are in God’s hands. If I’m going to error; I would rather error in faith than in disobedience.

Can any of you locate this C.S. Lewis quote and which book and page number it is from? Please leave a comment by clicking the comment link above if you know the reference. I know of several people looking for this information. My friends, and a family member, who are avid C.S. Lewis readers haven’t been able to place the quote. Please help us. ~Thank you! (UPDATE 5/1/2017 Thank you to Jeannie Pederson, a commenter at Truth Seekers Open Forum on Facebook who suggested using plagiarism websites to research Kerry’s C.S. Lewis quote. After 9 days of asking Kerry Messer for the source of the quote, multiple Google searches, and 6 different plagiarism sites; it appears Kerry provided a false quote. I’m hoping Kerry can prove otherwise and provide proof of a C.S. Lewis book quote.)

Kerry Messer quoted this in his most recent Facebook post:

C. S. Lewis once wrote, “One of the more common universal traits of the human experience is that most people tend towards putting everyone else into a box. They cannot see nor accept others’ lives without interpreting that other person’s history or being except through their own personal limited experiences or narrow worldview. “We” are even prone to put God Himself into our little boxes; thus our divided Christian communities (and even the pale skinned European concept of Jesus Christ).”

The issue which C. S. Lewis was addressing is mankind’s general tendency to never look “up”. We are all sinners both by nature and by choice. Without self-control and self-discipline we default in the common direction of narrow-minded prejudices. It is unnatural for a person to look “up” and make themselves “see” others from a perspective or worldview different from their own experiences. Our nature is only to look “at” one another.

This narrow-mindedness, which results in prejudices of all kinds, is exploited by politicians and the broad scope of advocates globally. It leads to grossly false understandings of anyone who is not cut from the same cloth as oneself. It divides neighbors into sub-cultures and class envy and cultural strife. It dares us to assign preconceived motives to everyone else’s’ motives. And it fuels the arrogance of false judgments, even to the point of baring false witness against someone with no evidence or conviction of guilt. Circumstantial evidence abounds and only investigators, in time, can reveal if there is physical evidence.

This is why a thief distrusts everyone else. It is why an unfaithful person will almost always assume everyone else is unfaithful. And it is why someone who has been deeply hurt by a trusted loved one typically assumes everyone else treats their loved ones badly also.

Sadly, this is also why far too many people cannot accept the love and compassion of Jesus Christ. They simply refuse to see the grace being held out to them by a merciful God. They choose to judge The Lord according to their own personal experiences and hard heartedness.
They cannot bring themselves to “lift their eyes” to look “up” and “see” the Son of God on the cross. It is somehow easier for them to think about God as being judgmental. It fits their idea that they have to find some way to earn God’s approval according to their own reasoning, rather than accept the simplicity of God’s grace.

It is easier to look “at” God and see him through our personal experiences rather than seeing Him for who He is according to His own revelation. And of course our human nature also leads us to swing the pendulum to the other extreme and define His love according to wishful thinking and say that since He is a God of love, He would never let anything bad happen to us. For too many folks The Lord is nothing more than who they reason Him to be in their own minds.

In the same manner, folks pass judgments based on their preconceived notions and their only frame of thoughts come from their limited experiences. Thus the haters will be angry and bitter at anyone who disagrees with them. They actually think they are right!

I lost track of what the point actually was.

I think it was:If only we would look “up” to him and not “at” him.

I think this sounds as malignant as narcissistic personality disorder comes.

I am not diagnosing anyone. There have been no criminal charges filed in the death of Lynn Messer. I am not a psychological, psychiatric, or medical practitioner; therefore any opinions I share are my own and should not be construed as professional advice, but rather for educational consideration only.

I’ll conclude with part of my bio from the ‘About Me’ page: Just because we are Christians does not mean we have to be walked all over, verbally shredded, emotionally manipulated, physically harmed, sexually abused or backed in the corner by those suffering from mental illness who refuse to seek help and healing, by those who refuse to deal with their personality disorder, and/or by those who refuse to turn from their messed up choices. Boundaries are necessary. Safety is achievable. Love is essential.

Sometimes speaking the truth in love isn’t easy; but I hope it helps other people currently living in abusive relationships to see there is hope and healing before it’s too late.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

On a side note: If you had been following the fictitious, public page, Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse on Facebook you have likely noticed that it has disappeared. I was contacted yesterday by the anonymous author of Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse. ‘Someone’ didn’t appreciate the author’s work and reported the page to Facebook.

“The Kerry Messer’s Inner Discourse page has been disabled by Facebook admin for “Violating the Facebook Terms”. There is no exact reason listed. They only provide a link to a list of generic possible reasons.”

I hope to have more on this development soon.

In the meantime, here is the last post which a friend of mine snapped pictures of Sunday night. It is for educational purposes only.

The pastor’s sermon today was about living a secular and sinful lifestyle. He spoke of the Lord giving us a limited amount of time to repent before striking us down with His righteous judgement. The pastor applied much effort into explaining the importance of repentance and how we will ultimately be held accountable for our own actions.

Although he wasn’t preaching this just for me, it seemed appropriate for my situation. I wonder sometimes if I should feel remorse for my action. It seems logical for me to do so, but I just feel…nothing. No remorse. No repentance. It’s not that I lack all emotion. I feel emotions in other situations: sadness when I lose a friend, anger when I am betrayed or when things don’t go as planned, happiness when I see that special someone, pride at a job well done. So I ask myself, what am I missing?

Guilt.

Some people don’t understand that there is a distinct difference between guilt and regret. Guilt stems from doing something that you wish you hadn’t done. Regret stems from doing something that you wish you would have done differently. Sure I’ve felt regret. Those were the times I was kicking myself for making a decision in haste or anger, instead of taking the time to calm down and use a clear head. I have become familiar with regret at least a few times in my past.

As for guilt and I, we remain strangers. Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet someday.

And one more C.S. Lewis quote sent in by reader Cheryl Bowles Summers:

A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is alright. This is common sense really. You understand sleep when you are awake, not well you are sleeping.

~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

April 20, 2017, Kerry Messer’s Finances Revealed

The public deserves to know. It’s amazing how much information is at the public’s fingertips with the tool of the internet.

I wish Lynn had known!

I receive private messages from people who have information on Kerry Messer. Of course, I have no way of proving much of it so I can’t publish it here. Time will literally tell.

Meanwhile, let me assure you that Lynn left behind a treasure trove of people who are determined to secure truth and justice for her. I thank all of you for the countless hours, phone calls, leg work, brain power, passion and heart you are putting in to this. I’ve met some amazing people on this journey and three of you know who you are; I adore you! These three people, one of which is Cheryl Bowles Summers, has aggressively participated in pursuing closure for Lynn and her family. The team over at Facebook’s Find Lynn Messer II has provided non-stop truth; providing a timeline, inaccuracies they believe they find at Kerry’s Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, archived photographic and video evidence, and open dialogue that will not be monitored by deleting comments and questions; like Val and Kerry do on the original Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

Here are some pieces of conflicting information about Kerry Messer. Much is directly from his own mouth, writing, and photographs.

I present to you…proof:

Kerry Messer distributed the following letter statewide. I received it through my local homeschool group. The date is November 29, 2011. I’m including only the portion that relates to fund-raising. You may read the letter in its entirety at the end of this post.

This is a faith ministry, meaning we do NOT have a salary or regular source of income. MFN demands full time attention and we survive off of the donations of those willing to support this ministry.

And even though I have never grown comfortable with fundraising, we manage to get by with minimal fundraising and maximum effort directed at the important battlefronts. We’re committed to low-key fundraising efforts with very few letters or “the sky is falling” communications.

We are confident in the ministry calling of Missouri Family Network and the Lord has given us a special and personal peace about the financial strains we often face!

Why am I sending you an email about this subject?

Simply because this is one of those rare fundraising letters that I hate to send out, but must.

Here is our current situation:

2011 has been a VERY difficult year. Going into December we are at the lowest financial point we have ever faced in closing out our annual books. Donations have been within their relative parameters, but we have been hit with several unusual and unexpected expenses. We have been saddled with some significant ministry obligations that are handicapping us.

(Just to note; over the years several organizations have formally asked us to be their official representative (lobbyist) at the state capitol, to which we have agreed to some. In more recent years this has resulted in some confusion and we often hear folks express that they thought these relationships were based on employment, thus resulting in a drop in donations.)

For clarification allow me to list the eight “principles” I am registered with as representing within the capitol as required by the Missouri Ethics Commission:

It is important to explain that I am NOT employed by any of these organizations beyond the donations to MFN which, in part, keeps the food on the table and the lights on, as well as the many ministry demands. All the other groups only provide their own donations to help MFN. There are no salaries, no insurance plans, no benefits, and no pensions.

As we are preparing for the 2012 legislative season we are drafting proposals and gearing up for the early January session of the Missouri General Assembly. But we have a large financial burden hanging over us and we need to raise an additional $21,000 by the end of the year! This is beyond anything we have faced at this late date on the calendar in the past.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!

To compound this situation is the fact that our primary farm truck kicked out its last mile this summer and we have been looking for a way to replace it before winter. Now that cold weather is settling in, the need for a heavy ¾ ton or 1 ton truck is getting serious.

If you have any idea or connection that could assist us with this particular need, we want to hear from you right away. The dead truck is a 1999 Chevy 2500 HD 4×4 and we are hanging onto it in case a replacement truck is compatible for parts. Thus our preference would be either a 2500 or 3500 Chevy (3/4 or 1 ton). A 4 wheel drive is a must, as is a full size bed. Optional details start with preferring a standard cab over an extended one, as close to a 1999 model would allow us to utilize many quality parts for the next few years to come, a steel flat bed (10-12 feet) or standard 8 foot flareside (no stepside or short bed), A/C is not important nor are other frills typical of any vehicle used for travel.

In other words the ‘perfect’ truck for us would be a low mileage 1999 Chevy 3500 HD 4×4, auto trans., with a 12 foot steel dump bed. However, we are in need of a strong work truck and don’t want to be picky beggars. Your prayers and assistance can help us find what the Lord has in store for our needs.

So here is what we would like to ask of you.

Please pray about a special gift of support for the ongoing work of Missouri Family Network – right away.

Then help us pray about finding a farm work truck needed on the home front. A 1999 model is nowhere near the expense of a more recent year. You may know someone who could donate, in part or in whole, to help us keep our sanity in the midst of a stressful political culture. If not, your prayers would still be helpful!”

Kerry did receive the truck; how much money he received I do not know. I was informed by a person in attendance at this ‘fund raiser’ that Kerry received a big new truck and that the event was attended by well known conservative pillars of the community; along with state reps and politicians.

Weeks after Lynn disappeared Kerry posted this:

Below: From MFN’s webpage. A way to place secure financial donations.

I hardly call a missing loved one a ‘distraction’. I would call it a summer of crisis, of personal trauma, a sanity stealer…but not a distraction!

Perhaps his so-called ‘summer of distraction’ could have been better summarized as his, Spring of distraction; as in Spring Thomas who detectives discovered was romantically linked to Kerry within weeks of Lynn’s disappearance.

Thanks to Cheryl Bowles Summers for this addition: Another important tid-bit of information to keep in mind is although most people believe Missouri Family Network is a non-profit, “MFN is a for-profit entity and that Kerry’s ‘Support the Hurting’ was non-profit, but was shut down by the state for its failure to comply with reporting regulations – however, its FB page and website are still active. “

Not true: 1) MFN is a for-profit organization. 2) Kerry had access to free financial help through Samaritan Ministries medical sharing/expense program. 3) There was life insurance on Lynn, Abram, and Elizabeth at the time of Lynn’s disappearance.

April 6, 2017, Who retains Kerry Messer? Here’s the list

Between July 2016 and present day I have posted approximately forty articles about the disappearance and discovery of Lynn Messer. I have interviewed Lynn’s son Abram Messer multiple times and have been given permission to post personal letters written by her son Aarron Messer. I have spoken with some of Lynn’s extended family members, friends whom she attended church with, and in whom she confided personal details about her life. All their stories have common threads; showing a tapestry of Lynn’s history that doesn’t resemble anything Kerry Messer writes on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

I never received a reply from Families for Home Education after my second inquiry regarding them continuing to retain Kerry Messer as their state lobbyist. Likewise, other people I know who wrote them letters and emails didn’t receive any type of courtesy reply.

I learned during this process that the executive directors for the FHE board are Al and Sheryl Schmidt and that Sheryl is the one who has significant input as to if FHE continues, or doesn’t continue, to retain Kerry Messer. I placed a phone call and Mrs. Schmidt (Sheryl) answered the phone. I explained who I was and that I was calling to find out if FHE had decided if they were going to continue retaining Kerry Messer, call a meeting to discuss it, or end their relationship with him. Sheryl put me on hold, picked back up after a lengthy wait and said, “Carolyn,” and then had her husband take over without telling me. I figured I was being put on hold for that purpose and possibly for the conversation to be recorded. I was fine with that but it made me wonder why they have, according to Al, registered Sheryl as a state lobbyist for FHE if she wasn’t comfortable taking a call from me and answering questions. I explained myself again and informed Al I was calling to verify that FHE still retains Kerry as their lobbyist, as is on record with the state capitol. Mr. Schmidt retorted that FHE is not going to base their decisions on opinions being played out on internet, TV and in the newspapers. They have instead chosen to weigh the character of a man they have known for 25 years and who has done an outstanding job representing and protecting homeschoolers and family values. He insisted my sources are not telling me the truth and repeatedly advised me, “We are all sinners, Carolyn and we need to forgive. We must remember balance and forgiveness.”

I was told by Mr. Schmidt the sheriff does not support what I’m saying about Kerry having a relationship with another woman. I’m grateful Mr. Schmidt was honest about FHE’s opinions.

The following is what I attempted to tell him, but I was interrupted with several, “We are all sinners. We need to forgive, Carolyn” comments. I reminded him that when unconfessed sin is involved it is our duty to hold our brother accountable. And although I wasn’t saying Kerry had committed a crime, if it turns out a crime was committed, then we need to allow the law, a tool God gave us for the protection of the innocent and for justice, to do its job. He insisted we need to forgive. I tried to remind him forgiveness has its place, but it’s separate from consequences, accountability, and justice. I don’t recall if I was able to finish the entire sentence.

I hope this makes it all the easier for FHE members to withhold paying next year’s membership dues. In my opinion, it’s time to find a new group to lead the state of Missouri in protecting homeschool freedoms and safe guarding our reputation. I sent FHE direct quotes from Kerry that were published in the newspaper regarding the other woman, published by his sons about what Kerry told investigators about his sexual needs, and newpaper publications about Kerry kissing the other woman who was not his wife; an ongoing relationship of 2+ years. Al Schmidt said they have known Kerry for over 25 years and they must balance what they personally know about this man against unproven allegations.

Direct quotes printed in the newspaper and stated by law enforcement are not allegations. Direct quotes from Kerry Messer’s own mouth are not allegations.

How do Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt think Aarron and Abram Messer feel? They’ve known their dad longer and it’s been an impossible road with unbelievable findings for them to wrap their hearts and minds around!

Here is Al and Sheryl Schmidt’s FHE phone number. I encourage FHE members to call and tell FHE they will no longer support their efforts for the homeschooling community by no longer financially supporting their organization. (417) 859-79028 or (877) 696-6343 ext. 62. I used the 417 number.

“Institutional betrayal has increasingly become the focus of awareness among survivors of many different forms of trauma. The common theme is the profound breach of trust that occurs when those in positions of authority, by their acts of omission and commission, effectively take the side of the perpetrators in their midst. In these instances, the more the integrity of the institution is compromised, the more it appears that officials will seek to cover up the problem in order to protect the institution’s reputation rather than aiding the victims of abuse.”

Trauma and Recovery, by Judith Herman

A deceased homeschool mom named Lynn Messer deserves our fight for her justice. Her adult, homeschooled sons are victims living through an unimaginable nightmare; waiting to find our how their mom died and if their dad is going to be arrested for involvement.

For the record, I cogitated on Mr. Schmidt’s accusation that my sources were wrong and that the sheriff doesn’t support what I’m saying about Kerry. I did after all reference direct quotes and links from the St. Louis Post Dispatch and Major Jason Schott. I included these quotes in previous letters to homeschool groups and families, and to FHE leadership.

I spoke with Major Jason Schott of the Ste. Genevieve County Sheriff’s Department yesterday, April 5, 2017, and he confirmed the accuracy of the quotes that were published in the newspaper. He repeated the information they have gleaned from the investigation. Investigators confirmed in early November 2014 during their questioning of Spring Thomas that her relationship with Kerry Messer had moved beyond friendship. Spring stated that the relationship began 8 weeks after Lynn disappeared. Although Kerry told a reporter that he disclosed the relationship voluntarily to the authorities he did so after investigators talked to Spring Thomas about the more than friendship, relationship. Kerry called the sheriff hours later to disclose the relationship.

Major Schott confirmed that the St. Louis Post Dispatch article, Missing woman case tears apart Jefferson City lobbying team, which I referenced for several quotes, was true and accurate.

From what I can gather Al Schmidt possibly spoke falsely to me, or did Kerry Messer lie to FHE about true information in news articles and the Investigation Discover Channel show: Disappeared, and Mr. Schmidt was repeating what he had been told? I highly encourage FHE leadership to call Major Jason Schott to confirm this for yourself; (573) 883-5820.

I have deep concerns about Kerry Messer’s possible involvement in his wife’s disappearance and I believe he needs to be removed from his position as state lobbyist for various organizations if for no other reason than his involvement with Spring Thomas, not his wife, since shortly after Lynn’s disappearance. I understand there has not been an arrest, and I know he is presumed innocent. That doesn’t mean, we as Christians can’t hold him accountable for going against scripture; as testified to by Kerry’s own comments regarding his participation in an extra marital relationship for over two years.

This disqualifies Kerry Messer from serving the Christian community in a leadership capacity. Attempting to merge Kerry’s stories on his Find Lynn Messer Facbeook page with his media quotes about is girlfriend paints a picture of a duplicitous personality who does not serve my interest in family values or homeschooling issues.

We renounce Kerry’s leadership in any aspect of representation for the great state of Missouri, and we now renounce FHE’s leadership for their lack of biblical accountability dealing with Kerry’s inconsistencies and extra marital relationship.

I am asking my readers to also call Alliance for Life, Americans United for Life, Missouri Association of Christian Child Care Agencies, Inc., Missourians for Personal Safety, and Samaritan Ministries International. The goal is Kerry Messer being removed from his position of state lobbyist for these various organizations. All phone numbers are listed below.

Below is the current list of Kerry’s lobby principals obtainable from the state capitol. If you have ties to any group you may contact them and voice your concerns, withdraw your membership, or not pay your next membership dues until the problem is resolved.

The Missouri Southern Baptist Convention no longer retains Kerry. I called them to verify that Kerry is no longer a lobbyist for them. I spoke with Don Hinkle. He was soft-spoken and wanted to make sure I understood that the only reason Kerry is no longer the lobbyist is because his contract expired and wasn’t renewed due to budget cuts…although Kerry isn’t being paid to lobby for the Southern Baptist Convention, Kerry will always advocate for family values at the state capital. I was hoping for at least, “We have concerns due to the investigation and chose not to renew…or something of the sort. I have been told my Lynn’s family members that they have heard three different explanations. If you want to inquire as to how many other staff lost their jobs due to budget cuts you may call MBC Executive Director, Dr. Yeats (573) 636-0400.
ALLIANCE FOR LIFE —Still has Kerry listed as a lobbyist but mainly works with Sam Lee.
P.O. BOX 241
LEE’S SUMMIT MO 64063
417-598-1040
AMERICANS UNITED FOR LIFE—Dropped my call
310 S. PEORIA ST., S-500
CHICAGO IL 60670
312-492-7234
FAMILIES FOR HOME EDUCATION—Contacts listed above

MACCCA – MISSOURI ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN CHILD CARE AGENCIES, INC.—As of last contact Kerry still works for them. They knew his wife was missing but didn’t know her remains had been found.
24302 MAHIN ROAD
LAMONTE MO 65337
660-347-5982
MISSOURIANS FOR PERSONAL SAFETY (gun safety)—I spoke with Kevin Jamison. Yes, Kerry represents them. They have been pleased with how Kerry has been very honest, upfront, and forthright with updates on everything. Kerry informed them when Lynn went missing, Kerry told them about his relationship with the another woman, told them when Lynn’s remains were found, and informed them when he, Kerry, secured Lynn’s dental records for the authorities; and just in time because they were about to be destroyed. Mr. Jamison said everybody but Kerry (referring to his colleagues, knew Kerry’s wife was dead and wouldn’t be returning).
2614 NE 56TH TER.
GLADSTONE MO 64119-2311
816-455-2669
SAMARITAN MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL—Samaritan Ministries members are a group of believers that have come together in Biblical community to help bear one another’s medical burdens without the use of health insurance.—I explained that I was calling to verify information on record with the Missouri State Capital which lists Kerry Messer as Samaritan’s state lobbyist. He fiddled with his computer, put me on hold, dropped my call, and didn’t return my call.
P.O. BOX 389
WASHINGTON IL 61571
309-382-3600
MISSOURI BAPTIST CONVENTION, CHRISTIAN LIFE COMMISSION (recently deleted Kerry’s name from their paperwork)
400 EAST HIGH STREET
JEFFERSON CITY MO 65101
(573) 635-7931

March 27, 2017, Remove Kerry Messer’s Incentive to Lobby

I am forging on to round three in my attempt to protect our families from state lobbyist Kerry Messer who is not living by the family values and Biblical principles that you, Spiritual Battles readers, and I both espouse. My goal is to keep Christians and the state of Missouri’s homeschooling name and reputation clear of the investigation surrounding Lynn Messer’s death and the innocence or guilt of her husband Kerry Messer.

Kerry Messer has by his own testimony been in an extramarital relationship with a woman since shortly after his wife Lynn disappeared. In scripture Jesus set the precedence that sin is to be dealt with specifically. Confronting sin is not the same as judging; making your own opinion about someone.

For more on the investigation watch Disappeared: American Gothic—The Lynn Messer Case from Investigation Discovery Channel. It aired last night, March 26, 2017, 9:00 p.m. The show is FREE on Investigation Discovery Channel’s website. I wrote Families for Home Education (FHE) seven months ago respectfully asking them to remove Kerry Messer as the lobbyist on behalf of homeschool families at the state capital. I did not receive an acknowledgment or reply, nor did I receive an acknowledgment or reply my letter two weeks ago. I consider this unacceptable business and ministry practice. I understand it may take days or weeks to call a formal meeting, but they could at the very least have given an acknowledgement that they received the letter and will be praying about it, meeting about it, or completely reject it.
The next step for homeschoolers is to bypass FHE and go directly to the people Kerry Messer works with at the state capital. Below you will find a sample letter you may copy and paste to use for your own purposes. Thank you to Lisa Payne-Naeger at Culture Vigilante for drafting this letter for us. I’ve been told this avenue is only effective if you personally know your rep or senator. So, if you know your rep or senator, please send this letter or call them on the phone.

Dear (Senator/Representative)

Elected representatives do so much more than pass legislation. They shape our culture, and they do it by acting on the kinds of issues that embody the values of the electorate. They often do so by listening to the advice and information of influencers who whisper in their ears, lobbying for or against legislation that regulates our laws, which in turn shapes our culture.

As a Christian and a home educator, I work very hard to not only provide the best educational experiences for my children, but to also instill strong family connections and values that embody respect and compassion for the family foundation.

For many years Christians and homeschooling families have relied on Kerry Messer to represent those values. Unfortunately Mr. Messer’s behavior has been an affront to everything Christians and homeschooling families believe, and it has become painfully apparent that he does not represent my values, viewpoints, or interests.

When Kerry Messer appeared at the FHE Homeschooling Rally more than two weeks ago, it became clear that it was time for Christians and homeschoolers to speak up about whom they choose to represent their voice. Because he has reportedly exhibited abusive behavior towards family members, engaged in adultery, and has not been ruled out in the investigation for the death of his wife, Kerry Messer does not embody our vision for Christian family values and educational freedom.

I feel he has no place at the capitol, and in the future it is my preference for you as my (senator/representative) to seek counsel from your constituents in all matters concerning family and education.

It is incumbent upon all of us to make sure you as my representative are hearing our voices above those from lobbyists who do not represent our values.

Thanks again for speaking out and taking a stand against not only this travesty, but helping to shape the wider culture by not blindly accepting this kind of behavior in our society.

Side Note: State reps can’t remove Kerry Messer and they do not have the authority to tell various groups who they can and cannot hire as a lobbyist; they do however, have the authority to not allow Mr. Messer in their offices.

My representative confirmed that Mr. Messer has lost his effectiveness at the state capital with the reps. Ask your rep. if they too can verify this. Because of this, my understanding is that Mr. Messer is now spending his time with the senators.

You may also call U.S. Senator Roy Blunt of Missouri: 202-224-5721 https://www.blunt.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/contact-roy (I been informed that Kerry Messer has had the favor, ear and help of Senator Blunt for the last 2 ½ + years.) Let’s inform Senator Blunt, in Washington DC, of our stance on Kerry Messer representing us on Capitol Hill in Jefferson City.

March 27, 2017, Disappeared: Watch full episode

March 25, 2017, Massive Mystery: The Disappearance of Lynn Messer

March 24, 2017, Lynn Messer: 1st Forensics Results

The pathology and forensic test results are beginning to be released by investigators.

Here is what the family has been told so far:

Lynn has really been gone the entire time and her body has been exposed to the elements the entire time. Police said it just confirmed what they already knew. There were no other specifics, which leaves many questions.

This laid to rest questions and thoughts that have occupied Lynn’s loved one’s minds. Such as, if Lynn had left of her own will, wandered off, and came back after organized searches.This disproved that idea.

March 24, 2017, 5:00 p.m. update:

I’m learning that there may be some conflicting headlines regarding today’s report. Not all forensics and pathology reports are in right now and it may require putting multiple reports together to reach conclusions. So my understanding is…today’s report from The St. Louis County Medical Examiner’s Office states it appears Messer’s body was out there for the two year time period.

Someone may have jumped the gun on this statement being the same as… the body was located at that same spot the full two years. The soil samples are not in yet.

I’m sticking to my original statement, Lynn has really been gone the entire time and her body has been exposed to the elements the entire time.

March 23, 2017, DailyJournal Online: Lynn Messer

Here is the DailyJournal Online’s article which was published this morning. It’s a long article so click on the link at the end of this post and scroll through all the ads and sign-up boxes to continue reading the entire article.

The article is written by Renee Bronaugh who has been covering Lynn’s case from the time of Lynn’s disappearance.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Here are a few excerpts from the article; along with, a few comments from me.

Abram: “They spent just as much time down at the sheriff’s department,” he said. “They have been very thorough and nothing we did with them was forced. Everything was within the context of, ‘if you are comfortable sharing this with us and will allow us to tell this story, then we would like to be able to tell this story with you.’”

Now, Abram said, nearly five months after discovery of his mother’s remains, the family is still waiting on results of the forensic work. He said that law enforcement told him the case is like putting together a puzzle. They have all these pieces laid out on the table and they can begin to see which piece fits where.

“As they start putting parts of the story together and parts of the evidence together, they can begin to see a much clearer picture of what all has transpired,” Abram said. “There are just one or two pieces of that puzzle still missing and forensics are going to answer those questions.”

Abram and his family are holding out hope there will be people who watch the show — maybe someone from Jefferson City, somebody from his father’s church or somebody who he knows — and it will help them to recall conversations they have had with his father.

“I hope they think about different things they know, because so many different people had come out to help us search,” he said. “The entire community has been involved and our hope now with the show, is those people watching, maybe there is somebody out there who has one piece of information who can put the whole puzzle together and bring closure to this entire investigation.”

“All of the producers we have been working with have all stayed in contact with us, looking for updates and waiting right along with us,” he said. “Their care and concern was more than just a professional courtesy. They were very genuine and very caring and truly interested. You could tell it wasn’t about ratings. Everybody we have worked with over the taping of the show has been really wonderful. They have opened their hearts to us and it has been a very unique experience.”

He said two reenactment clips he’d seen from the show were very powerful which leads him to believe the show’s crew paid close attention through the course of the interviews.

Kerry: “Kerry said he didn’t respond to any of the show’s attempts to contact him and has never spoken to them or responded to them by any other means.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

In other words, it appears everything Kerry says throughout the article, and on the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, about the show and its crew is strictly his opinion and not based on facts.

According to Abram’s testimony the crew had a genuine interest in telling the whole story. The show’s goal is to help find the missing person. Therefore they are rewarded with terrific ratings through telling the truth of the story from different viewpoints of witnesses, friends, and family members. Recovering someone who has disappeared is the ultimate goal and reward for ‘Disappeared‘ producers and crew doing the taping for Investigation Discovery Channel. Yes, your read that correctly. This isn’t an entertainment tabloid show…it’s Investigation Discovery Channel.

One of my readers commented on a recent post about Lynn, “It is very telling that Kerry is getting so nervous about this show. He has broken with his protocol and has discussed the investigation on his Facebook page. He actually referred to his affair and contradicted what he had previously publicly said about the romantic, physical relationship with Spring Thomas before he knew that his wife was dead. He is getting out ahead of this in attempting to discredit it and guilt people into not watching it. I am confident that this will continue to open the eyes of those who have been blinded and I hope that investigators re-double their efforts to evaluate where the evidence leads.”

In my opinion, I agree with this reader.

It appears Kerry Messer has very few followers and friends left on his Find Lynn Messer page. What better way to keep those few from thinking through the evidence and testimony than shaming them for considering watching the show and convincing them it’s all fabricated; spun and twisted for entertainment value?

Friends, co-workers, church members, and family members must put loyalties aside and report any little detail or conversation they recall. Who knows? They may be holding a piece, or the last piece, to the investigative puzzle.

May 21, 2017, Disappeared Short Clips: Lynn Messer

Below is a portion of Kerry Messer’s latest entry on the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page.

Kerry makes his case for why he isn’t happy about the airing of Disappeared. I’m adding a bit of my perspective to his story; rebuttals to some of his statements.

Disappeared was filmed before Lynn’s body was discovered and the purpose for allowing this program to share Lynn’s story was to hopefully help find her and to bring closure to the case.

Kerry Messer’s writing is in blue. My response is in red.

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Hurting hearts have left a significantly large number of people vulnerable to wild imaginations. These have been fed by unbelievably hateful speculations and accusations founded in nothing more than a search for anything to believe in – something to cling to for an explanation.

Nope…fed by Spring Thomas, your girlfriend being identified as part of a search party on your property looking for your wife.

Fed by…Different, and reportedly untrue stories, you told investigators and your sons about the note that was at least in part, possibly in whole, written by Lynn.

Fed by your comments that Abram isn’t working through his grief in a healthy manner. You are the one who reportedly made inaccurate comments about the note to him, and forced their family out of their home? He has a right to defend himself and tell his side of the story.

Note: We are all sinners. We all deserve the worse, but we all desire grace. Through The Lord’s incredible love, He offers us the grace we need but don’t deserve. However, we are all still sinners by nature as well as by choice. And like it or not, a common default expression of our sin nature which every single one of us share is the propensity to remember the negative about other people more than the positive. We also fall prey to believing the worse about those we don’t know or care for. And we all tend to stand up for those we relate to while turning against those we do not relate to. And our personal worldviews are established more by our general biases and beliefs than facts or truths.

What? We remember the positive, but the negative is so overwhelming that it can’t be dismissed, overlooked, or forgotten. Our ‘biases and beliefs’ are based on biblical principles of the marriage covenant as set forth by God; not man’s own spin on what is or isn’t an affair.

Simply stated: We believe what we want to believe. We accept ideas as either absolute facts or as mere theories more often than not without ever examining actual evidences. If something fits our mental or emotional comfort level, we accept it. If it challenges our comfort level, we reject it. You can call it relativity, moral relativism, subjective reality, alternative reality, self-identity truth, modernism, post-modernism or whatever else the contemporary literature comes up with, but at its core it is nothing more than an expression of the sin nature we all possess.

Are you the one who believes in moral relativism? You are the one who had a girlfriend, at the least, within weeks of your wife disappearing. You are the one who admitted to kissing this woman but wouldn’t admit to an affair. Mr. Messer, sex is not the only aspect of an affair. By your own account you had a close friendship with this woman and were emotionally involved with her. Your sons have given testimony that the friendship predated Lynn’s disappearance and they even say it was an unhealthy attraction/friendship. I won’t argue when the relationship began and how involved it was; by Biblical standards you were having an affair while you said you still believed you were a married man. According to your testimony you were alone with her on multiple occasions, had a meaningful relationship and you kissed her on the lips.

So what in the world am I driving at?

The fact is, on the night of July 7th, 2014, I lost my Bride. Almost a year later, I lost my entire in-law family to scathing false rumors deliberately created to cause more pain and stress. Another year later and I lost the rest of my family to an avalanche of imaginative accusations. Sadly, much of the garbage seems to be very deliberately designed to drive wedges and divide already hurting hearts. All in the name of ‘helping’!?!?!

I find it odd how you plea that your family be more careful of their words and your feelings, while it appears from media reports and interviews of you that you don’t afford them the same courtesy. Furthermore; I haven’t heard wild accusations from them; just questions and accounts that are confirmed by multiple witnesses.

How in the world do people think they can help by spreading lies is beyond me. I have never known of anyone being benefited by folks bearing false witness. When is the last time you have seen healing amidst hurting thanks to an onslaught of lies? Yet far too many folks think they can help by repeating accusations without ever talking to the one being accused.

I guess we need to know the specific lies to which you are referring?

In two years and well over eight months I have had a grand total of three (3) people bother to contact me directly to ask questions about the things they have heard which concerned them. A great number of friends have responded to me in the course of our normal conversations about the scope of the dozens of false accusations they hear regularly. These are faithful friends who do not spread the garbage. But others have fallen prey to the trash talk and some have joined the chorus of gossipers and rumor mongering.

You stated: “There’s 4 news agencies that I felt actually tried to help us in the beginning; not just write a story but actually showed real interest in trying to help us find Lynn; The Daily Journal out of Farmington, The Missouri Times out of Jefferson City, Channel 12 News – Cape Girardeau, and Channel 2 News in St. Louis.” You said they were” the four who had shown real interest in who we are” inferring there were possibly others but you didn’t like the line of questions or the direction the journalist would take with the article.

What has all of this got to do with the title for this post “Help vs. Entertainment”?

First of all, God’s timing can seem confusing, but it is always best. This week I was already struggling with the key themes of Psalms 108 and 109, and that short line which has dogged me and aided me at the same time for over two and a half years, “…vain is the help of man”.

Secondly, man’s help has been of great value throughout this entire ordeal on countless fronts! But no man’s help has had an ounce of healing influence on my shredded heart. No man’s help has offered any significant solace to the stresses that have been eating me alive. No man’s help has given any light to this path down here in this dark valley of shadows. Yet I owe a great measure of “thanks” to literally hundreds of people who have helped in the ways they could, and can, and continue to do!

And thirdly: While entertainment has varying degrees of value under certain circumstances…

My Bride’s disappearance is not supposed to be a source for entertainment!!!

No, not entertainment; this confirms that your sons and their families were desperate to find their mom. They wanted resolution and if a national show could give a glimmer of hope to finding answers it was worth it.

It is not helpful to use Ma’s death, nor any false rumors, imaginative speculations, or accusations, as a source of entertainment!!!

The gut wrenching discovery of Lynn’s remains is not an acceptable source of entertainment!!!

Again, this show was planned in advance of the discovery of Lynn’s remains and Lynn’s remains were not found until after the show had concluded its filming.

They know their storyline is not true!!! And they do NOT care!!!

This is NOT news! This is entertainment at the expense of a distraught family!!!

Our tragedy is NOT supposed to be sold to advertisers!!!

Our pain is NOT supposed to be used for entertainment!!!

You appear to be one of the only family members, if not the only, who takes issue with this television program.

Are we motivated by past friendship, loyalty, sympathy and fear for the person offended or by the distress, pain and heartache of the children of the dead? Make certain your compassion is properly placed and driven by love of truth and justice.

The following links are clips from the televised program which uses actors to portray the Messer family. The first link in embedded; the second link you have to click to be taken to the video.

3/9/2017, Petition to FHE: Remove Kerry Messer

I’m calling all Missouri homeschooling families to write FHE; Families for Home Education and request Kerry Messer’s removal as the state lobbyist. We, homeschooling families, DO NOT want our movement splashed across media headlines due to Kerry Messer. I believe he needs removed…for several reasons. (Please forward this to your homeschool contacts.)

Numerous homeschool families were appalled to see Kerry Messer at the homeschool rally in Jefferson City, Tuesday, March 6, 2017. Is FHE aware that people were not clapping for Kerry and several families walked out due to Kerry’s presence?

Below is a letter FHE and its leaders received yesterday from Cheryl Bowles Summers. You may copy and paste this letter in its entirety, or in part, and send it to the contact list at the end of this post. I sent it to the leadership of various homeschool groups around the state.

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My parents, Charles (Chuck) and Marcia Bowles were instrumental in the home education movement in the early to mid-1980s. We were one of two families named in the class action suit filed in federal court in 1984 and are listed in the history of FHE-MO on the “About” page of your website.

I was one of those kids threatened with placement in foster care for educational neglect.

I am writing to implore you to remove Kerry Messer from his position as FHE’s lobbyist. I am ASTOUNDED that he would be invited to speak at the event in Jefferson City yesterday. What does this say to the young eyes of today’s homeschool students who were watching?

While much ambiguity surrounded Mr. Messer when his wife, Lynn initially went missing, that ambiguity has been removed as Aarron and Abram Messer have bravely shared the truth that they know.

That ambiguity has been removed as Kerry’s dishonesty has been revealed.

Does a married man who ostensibly is unaware of whether his wife of over 30 years is alive or dead immediately begin pursuing another woman? This is not behavior fitting the nobility of Families for Home Education.

I can only imagine that what is self-evident to many of us who have read Kerry’s posts and the interviews he and his sons have given to the press is also self-evident to many in Jefferson City. It’s probable there was either an incredible act of violence in the Messer home leading to Lynn’s death or Kerry discovered that Lynn took her own life and has spent the last almost three years covering up what he knows. He cannot possibly be an effective representative of your organization.

I implore you to make this right. Keep this organization above reproach.

Sincerely,
Cheryl Bowles Summers

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Here is a brief request I sent to FHE in August of 2016 for which I did not receive an acknowledgement or reply.

In light of Kerry Messer’s admission to an extra-marital relationship with Spring Thomas, and due to the investigation of Lynn’s disappearance, revolving around Kerry; I respectfully ask you to find a different lobbyist for Missouri Homeschoolers. Kerry is not above reproach, and as Christ followers, we need to protect the innocent first. Our homeschooling families are innocent. I suggest you call the Ste Genevieve County Sheriff’s office and ask them if Kerry has stopped cooperating with the investigation, and if he is the main suspect.

Sincerly,

For a different perspective on the case there are 5 articles on the subject that I have written: Lynn Messer: 3 Objectives (These included links to newspaper articles. There are currently 29 articles I have written on Lynn Messer; some of which are interviews with Lynn’s son, Abram Messer and letters by Lynn’s son, AarronMesser.)

1/30/2017, Lynn Messer: Reversal of Destiny?

Today I am recalling words from, Pastor Pat Crisler, who spoke at Lynn Messer’s memorial service. A few phrases from the eulogy piqued my curiosity to a possibility…

“Lynn always loved education and learning new things. She later in life went on to college learning soil sciences, and agriculture which she was able to use later by serving on the local Soil and Water Board.

Lynn fell in love with foreign missions in Ecuador where she made numerous trips, made friends, and was looking forward to not only teaching and leading people to the Lord, but also was making plans to use her knowledge of soil science to help teach the indigenous people of Ecuador how to use their natural resources to better provide for their families.”

…I’ve thought about the possibility, prayed about it, and studied more about it since hearing the words. Then today I pulled up Pat’s notes which he sent at my request and with Abram Messer’s permission. (I used the eulogy a few weeks ago here…) To my utter delight I found the title of Pat’s message is part of the Bible study I’ve been doing for this exact blog post.

The words from Pat’s message reminded me of something that happened in my life; a reversal of destiny.

Examples: Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.

Whoever exalts himself will be humbled. Whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

To help you understand where I’m going with this; below is the title of the message and a few abbreviated points from, Pastor Pat Chrisler.

Message Title: FOR A SUDDEN, UNEXPECTED DEATH

Mark 4:35-41 (HCSB)

Wind and Wave Obey the Master

35 On that day, when evening had come, He told them, “Let’s cross over to the other side of the sea.” 36 So they left the crowd and took Him along since He was already in the boat. And other boats were with Him. 37 A fierce windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking over the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. 38 But He was in the stern, sleeping on the cushion. So they woke Him up and said to Him, “Teacher! Don’t You care that we’re going to die?”

39 He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Silence! Be still!” The wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40 Then He said to them, “Why are you fearful? Do you still have no faith?” 41 And they were terrified and asked one another, “Who then is this? Even the wind and the sea obey Him!”

Introduction

Seeking a break from the demand of the excited crowds, Jesus took a boat, and with some of his disciples, sailed off for some rest and relaxation. Suddenly their leisure day was disrupted by a violent storm. In that sudden storm, Jesus did an astounding thing. And in that we learn some things which can help us in the light of the devastating experience we seek to navigate through based on these last two years, and in the days to come.

First of all, we are reminded although the Sovereign of the universe is on the boat, it is no guarantee against the sudden—in this case, verse 37 tells us, a sudden storm.

Second, it may appear in these sudden experiences of life, which grieve us and threaten our sense of God’s nearness and care, that God is not doing anything.

Third, we can respond like Jesus’ disciples. Fear can replace faith. Jesus did hear their cries for help. He sprang into action. He spoke, and the winds ceased and the waves curled up around His feet like submissive tigers under the voice of their trainer. He then asked a penetrating question, “Why are you so afraid?”

When the sudden comes in our lives, the Sovereign Savior is looking for us to look at him.

Sudden storms also serve to turn us to Jesus as we see in verse 38.

The Sovereign of the Sudden does something else in our storms. He will assist others—who see us coming through our assault—so they too may find blessings in the storms they are facing.

Finally, storms remind us the Sovereign of the Sudden is in control. In verse 41 the disciples were overwhelmed by what they had seen. They had a new fear: a reverential fear. They had seen Jesus, with a word, rebuke wind and waves. They were reminded the Sovereign of the Sudden is in control when everything else seems to be totally out of control.

God’s plan and purpose for Lynn and for our lives are not subject to whims, accidents, circumstances, illnesses, and evil. God works through these to bring about his will.

We are not expecting the situation we have been put into. But what we do before any event in our lives is in preparation for how we handle the event. We have two options, we can react or we can respond. When you react it is negative when you respond it is positive. God allows us the choice to handle adversity either looking at it from a worldly lens or looking at it from His perspective.

It could be sort of like if one of Lynn’s grandkids were playing on her living room floor and looked up and saw her sewing a cross-stitch. From their perspective on the floor looking up they might say, “Grandma what are you doing, you are not making any sense, it looks like a mess?” Lynn would respond by saying, “I got it, I’m making a beautiful picture.” But all the child could see from where they sit was a mess. From Lynn’s perspective she responded with “I have this; I’m making a beautiful picture.” It would not be until the grandchild would stand up and walk around the chair so they are now looking over Grandmas shoulder would they be able to see and appreciate how beautiful a creation Lynn had truly been making all this time. Often times we look up into the heavens and we say, “God what are you doing? It doesn’t make sense, I don’t understand.”

All we see from our perspective is a messed up tapestry and yet God is saying, “From My perspective I am making a beautiful picture, do you trust me?” In those moments when you can’t TRACE THE HAND OF GOD, YOU HAVE TO TRUST THE HEART OF GOD!

We read in the book of Esther a celebration of a reversal of destiny. Although we read nothing of God in the book of Esther, the life of Esther has the fingerprints and heart of God all over it. History shows us what Esther at the moment couldn’t see. Yet she remained obedient to what she knew to be true. This is a wise and beautiful lesson for us today. When we can’t figure out what God is doing, where He is, perhaps we can’t sense His presence and we wonder if we will ever find Him; we must remember God is there. Some day we will look back on the most important or difficult times in our life and we will see God all over it! It may look like it took months, years, or a life time for the something to happen yet we will often see it had a turning point that was sudden.

In the book of Esther, everything Haman meant for evil; for the death of Mordicai and the destruction, slaughter and annihilation of the Jews; God suddenly reversed allowing the plans to be used against Haman, and provided for His chosen people to be saved. The intervention can only be explained as a work of God.

Here are more scriptural reversals of destinies:

Joseph’s brothers decided to harm him. They sold him to get rid of him. Joseph later sells food to his brothers to save them: Joseph’s brothers hated him and refused to listen to anymore of his, “You bow down to me dreams.” His brothers sold him to merchants on their way to Egypt. While in Egypt Joseph interpreted dreams, became 2nd in command over all of Egypt, saved his brothers, his father and their families, and the brothers bowed down before Joseph. Sold as a slave; becomes a ruler. Genesis 37-45

Pharaoh’s horses and riders surround the Israelites at the Red Sea. The Red Sea surrounds and drowns Pharaoh’s horses and riders. Exodus 14

King Nebuchadnezzar, “Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?” He is driven away from people to live as a wild animal outside his kingdom. After 7 years King Nebuchadnezzar acknowledges that the Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes. God restores Nebuchadnezzar’s sanity and kingdom to him. Daniel 4

King Darius’ men falsely accused Daniel so Daniel would be thrown in the lion’s den to his death. God saved Daniel, and the King’s men were thrown in the lion’s den to their deaths. Daniel 6

The Book of Esther

Queen Vashti was summoned to be seen. Suddenly she was seen no more.¹

Haddasah an orphaned Jewish girl among the exiles; the least and the last to ever be chosen becomes the Queen of Persia; royalty, wife of King Xerxes.

Haman who thought he had planned his own parade of honor suddenly finds himself parading around the person in his world who he hated the most; Mordicai.

Haman builds a 75 foot high pole in which to hang Mordicai but suddenly finds himself hanged on the very pole.

The irrevocable edict that will destroy, kill and annihilate the Jewish people and nation suddenly allows for the Jewish people to do the very same to anyone who tries to kill them.

The reversal that happened to Haman is a warning to us that vicious consequences can happen to us when planning violent acts or traps for others.

“God made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we would become the righteousness of God.” II Cor. 5:21

From darkness to light: “and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,”Col. 1:12-13

“Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” I Peter 2:10

Robber on the cross, not a believer, who was at that moment destined to hell; confessed with his mouth and suddenly, within minutes, found himself in heaven. Luke 23

Peter and John were fishers of fish who became fishers of men.

Paul: A persecutor of Christians became the persecuted.

Rich man; poor man, the rich man and Lazarus died and went different paths. The rich man enjoyed all his good on the earth and his agony in eternity. The poor man, Lazarus, received bad things on earth and comfort for eternity. Luke 16

When life feels heavy and bleak; as if the time for finding an answer is about to expire, we must remember that for those who have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior, God sees us and He is actively at work in our lives.

As I was listening to, Pastor Pat Crisler, speak at Lynn’s memorial service the idea of praying about a reversal popped into my mind.

Remember how Lynn studied soil and wanted to help others through that studying? Put it in terms of a reversal:

Lynn studied soil to reveal a better life—end of life will be revealed through the study of soil.

If someone was responsible for her death: Whoever hides the death of Lynn on soil—from the soil they will be found out.

Remember: the forensics testing has not yet concluded and the results have not been released. If I read or heard on the news correctly, the FBI took soil samples which means they will be looking at all the layers of soil, fallen leaves and natural debris to see if it matches up with what was found on and around Lynn’s remains. It could possibly reveal if Lynn’s remains were located there the entire 2 years and 4 months, or if she was placed there after the fact. Forensic Soil Analysis is the use of soil sciences and other disciplines to aid in criminal investigation. Soils are like fingerprints because every type of soil that exists has unique properties that act as identification markers.²

God, through scripture, has set the precedence that reversals can happen; which means we have permission and authority to pray for one. In doing so, let’s speak the Holy Spirit’s language: Scripture. As we ask our mediator, Jesus Christ, to present our requests to our Heavenly Father we can be assured that our desires are in line with what God can do and has delighted to do throughout history. If a crime was committed against Lynn Messer, let us together seek a reversal of destiny for the person or persons who need to be brought to justice. Lynn’s family longs for answers and justice over this traumatic event through which they are currently living.

All the ‘sudden’ unknowns to us are known by God. When the enemy interjects events and plans into our lives he thankfully doesn’t have the last say. Christ does! And Christ can intervene any way of his choosing. God can use the horrific, the thing we hate doing the most, and/or the crime or abuse that has been committed against us for good; it’s scriptural: “And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose,” Romans 8:28 (NET)

Let’s agree in prayer and pray these scriptures over the Lynn Messer case:

1 Why do you boast of evil, you mighty hero?
Why do you boast all day long,
you who are a disgrace in the eyes of God?2 You who practice deceit,
your tongue plots destruction;
it is like a sharpened razor.3 You love evil rather than good,
falsehood rather than speaking the truth.4 You love every harmful word,
you deceitful tongue!

5 Surely God will bring you down to everlasting ruin:
He will snatch you up and pluck you from your tent;
he will uproot you from the land of the living.6 The righteous will see and fear;
they will laugh at you, saying,7 “Here now is the man
who did not make God his stronghold
but trusted in his great wealth
and grew strong by destroying others!”

8 But I am like an olive tree
flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God’s unfailing love
for ever and ever.9 For what you have done I will always praise you
in the presence of your faithful people.
And I will hope in your name,
for your name is good.

If there was deceit in Lynn’s sudden death we pray for the evidence to show truth and sudden revelation.

As was the case with my reversal of destiny, God was using the lapse of time to bring not just temporary protection and deliverance but permanent protection, deliverance and justice. God knows the truth of what happened to Lynn. Let’s pray for the investigators to find truth and gain closure.

Let’s pray specifically. If we ask for nothing we can’t be disappointed. I like to throw caution to the wind; after all, our Great God commands the wind! I’m well aware that God is not a genie in a bottle. He answers in His time and His way with His Father heart full of love, mercy and wisdom, and sometimes the answer is—no, or not yet. But…when we specifically pray; God often precisely answers. When He does answer, and I know it’s an answer to a question or request I prayed, there is nothing more exhilarating than watching my little, tiny mustard seed of faith through prayer move Heaven. Knowing the God of all creation loves me, hears me, and interacts with me is the most fun, the highest high, the coziest comfort, and the biggest gift—EVER! All while knowing I did nothing to deserve it. I simply pray for His heart and will to be done and that He will override my wants with His best; basing my prayers on His words; scripture.

I haven’t found any media outlets sensationalizing information and drumming up drama to sell advertising. This remark sends up another red flag to me. It reminds me of how some people have the innate ability to detract from the problem at hand (usually something to do with them self) to keep people off-balance, or to hide the truth. I think the media have been unusually easy on Kerry Messer; possibly due to his political standing in the state. I haven’t heard, or read, of any tough questions proposed to Kerry.

A popular Facebook trend is to leave a one word status describing you or someone else, or a character trait you want to be known by. The word that comes to my mind for the above post is, ‘bizarre.’ As for accusations, Mr. Messer has left himself wide open due to the nature of his posts on his Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, coupled with his relationship with Spring Thomas and the fact that Ms. Thomas is never mentioned by him in the posts. He seems to long for Lynn as if Ms. Thomas doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter; or could it be he wants to hide his relationship with Spring Thomas from the modest loyal followers he has on his Find Lynn Messer page?

The below interview mentions a protective order separating the family at this time. I found it interesting the reporter didn’t mention who was granted the ex parte; order of protection. The judge heard credible testimony which allowed for the order to be granted.

As for Aarron and Abram; they remember what mattered most to their mom: God, love and family. They draw from the lessons their mom taught them about selfless love. They choose to, “honor her and carry on—not for her—but in her stead”¹ “together; by being there for each other,” and by using the lessons she taught them to help guide them.

I hope Lynn was allowed to gaze down from heaven during her memorial service to view her sons’ love in action. More so, to see all her grand children lined up in a church pew together; enjoying each other’s company. Affectionate smiles, giggles and heads leaning in to one another—cousins chatting while patiently waiting for the service to begin.

Witnessing loving relationships. Hearing about the goodness of the Lord in the midst of difficult circumstances. Holding on to hope. Serving others. Loving God. These are the lessons Lynn taught, and these are the lessons being lived out that she would have seen from heaven’s view.

12/22/2016, In Loving Memory of Lynn Marie (Hoog) Messer

Born: June 4, 1962

Disappeared: July 8, 2014

Recovered: November 1, 2016

Last weekend, December 17, 2016, nestled between the hours of two winter storm systems, Lynn Messer’s sons and their families, Lynn’s extended family, and Lynn’s friends held a private, memorial service to celebrate a life well lived. A family friend, Pastor Pat Crisler officiated at the service. It was a quiet, peaceful goodbye filled with loving memories.

I felt honored to attend and was given permission to share Lynn’s eulogy with my readers. Many of you have shown compassion, understanding and agreement with Abram and Aarron’s testimony and questions surrounding their mom’s death.

Many people have taken great interest in this case and have faithfully followed every news outlet awaiting evidence and answers; hoping and praying for Lynn to be found—and now for truth to be revealed.

So for you who have felt helpless during the wait and wondered what you could do that would make a difference; I have a way you can participate in a purpose that was dear to Lynn’s heart. You may click on the link at the end of this post to leave a memorial gift in Lynn’s name and show the family that you haven’t forgotten. Let’s keep Lynn’s memory alive and help further a ministry important to her. Most of all, continue to pray for Lynn’s family as they wait for answers.

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Lynn Marie (Hoog) Messer,

BORN: At Saint Anthony’s on June 4, 1962

To the best we know, Lynn Died in July of 2014 under unknown but sudden circumstances. It is not for us to debate the cause of her death here today. But we will remember the life she had with us and celebrate her everlasting life with our Eternal Father at His throne in Heaven.

Lynn was a beloved and devoted daughter to her parents: Mother—Flo Hoog (with us today) and Father—Charles Hoog (gone on to be with the Lord in 2014. She was the middle sister of three; the oldest being Debra (Hoog) Donze, and youngest sister Julie (Hoog) Rayfield. Lynn was an adoring and beloved mother to her two sons Aarron and Abram; a protective and doting grandmother to her grand children; Emily, Morgan, Isaiah, Gabriel, Gideon, Grace and Gage. Lynn was a caring, mentoring mother-in-law to Elizabeth and Kris. Lynn was a cherished and loved friend to all of us.

Most importantly, Lynn was a true child of God.

Lynn grew up in Arnold Missouri, and moved to Bloomsdale when she was 13 years old.

Her childhood would be described as a loving member to a warm and loving home; spending time with her cousins and sisters where they would put on skits and perform little shows for their parents and family.

She really loved going out to her grandparents hog farm by Tower Rock… where she developed a lifelong dream of someday having her own hog farm.

Lynn attended school in Saint Genevieve, MO graduating from Valle High School.

Lynn always loved education and learning new things. She later in life went on to college learning soil sciences, and agriculture, which she was able to use later by serving on the local Soil and Water Board.

Lynn’s life was full of great and wonderful accomplishments for a small town girl from Southeastern Missouri. She served in a wide variety of programs and projects at church. She fell in love with foreign missions in Ecuador where she made numerous trips, made friends and was even looking forward to not only teaching and leading people to the Lord, but also was making plans to use her knowledge of soil science to help teach the indigenous people of Ecuador how to use their natural resources to better provide for their families.

At her home church, Lynn was extremely active in Vacation Bible School, WMU, Sunday school, home missions projects, mentorship programs such as Apples of Gold, and nursery; particularly having a heart in any area which included children.

Previous to living in Saint Genevieve County, she was instrumental in creating Backyard Bible Studies in St. Louis where she lived, and was involved in inner city ministries.

She was also heavily involved in the home school community. She created multiple coop classes, organized field trips and immersed herself in her children’s educational experience.

Lynn’s hobbies and interest included a love for painting, drawing, quilting, gardening and farming. She would spend hours in front of her sewing machine making clothes, quilts for people at church who were having babies, designing and creating props for teaching aids in ministries, and doll clothes for her granddaughter’s dolls.

She loved crafting, and creating gifts and decorations which made her house a warm and welcoming home to everyone.

Her love of animals and her desire to encourage her grandchildren to develop an interest in animal sciences helped her to become involved in 4H, and group projects with her grandchildren.

If you had to pick one defining character trait for Lynn it would be Love for others, all others.

Ask anyone who has ever met Lynn and they will tell you she was filled with a love for people. She was filled with a desire to demonstrate by her life’s example and Christian testimony how the love of God knows no limits. She was always looking for an opportunity to tell somebody of the hope which she had found through Jesus Christ. For her, the relationship she had with Christ was not simply a part of her life, but rather it was a driving force which motivated her to put her life into action for God. She saw it as her duty to live out her faith. There are countless stories over the years of how she would go out of her way to minister to total strangers.

A scripture from the Bible which best describes Lynn’s life, and one of her favorite passages was: 1 Corinthians 13 (HCSB)

If I speak human or angelic languagesbut do not have love,I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal.2 If I have the gift of prophecyand understand all mysteriesand all knowledge,and if I have all faithso that I can move mountainsbut do not have love, I am nothing.3 And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor,and if I give my body in order to boast[a]but do not have love, I gain nothing.4 Love is patient, love is kind.Love does not envy,is not boastful, is not conceited,5 does not act improperly,is not selfish, is not provoked,and does not keep a record of wrongs.6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousnessbut rejoices in the truth.7 It bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends.But as for prophecies,they will come to an end;as for languages, they will cease;as for knowledge, it will come to an end.9 For we know in part,and we prophesy in part.10 But when the perfect comes,the partial will come to an end.11 When I was a child,I spoke like a child,I thought like a child,I reasoned like a child.When I became a man,I put aside childish things.12 For now we see indistinctly,[b] as in a mirror,[c]but then face to face.Now I know in part,but then I will know fully,as I am fully known.13 Now these three remain:faith, hope, and love.But the greatest of these is love.

12/8/2016, Lynn Messer: Adventurous Bride or Not? Q’s & A’s

Editor’s Note: Abram is answering questions and sharing what he recalls of his relationship with his parents, and the relationship he observed between his parents. He is sharing his facts, opinions, and what he believes to be true. (I fully understand there are more than two sides to a story: Abram’s side, Aarron’s side, Lynn’s side, Kerry’s side—which all have limited views; and God’s complete view; the whole truth.) Abram’s dad, Kerry Messer, is a public figure of interest. It is not illegal or defamatory to share opinions, beliefs, and personal stories publicly. In order to prove that anyone is being defamatory, it would need to be shown that Abram, or I, did so with intentional malice.

Abram and his family have lost friends, family relationships, and community relationships for publicly bringing into the light what Abram calls a different side to his dad than other people have seen. He is putting all this aside to help ensure more people are not deceived, his mom’s memory and spiritual heritage are not tainted or destroyed, women who are in destructive relationships see hope, and churches who minister to these women rank safety, sanity and truth over the institution of marriage. Abram’s private conversations and correspondence with me have emphasized his resolve.

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The below questions are in response to points made about Lynn on the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, or comments Kerry Messer made in media interviews.

Question: Your dad tells story after story of your mom’s many adventures. Was your mom known for being highly spontaneous and adventurous?

Answer: Sometimes. She was spontaneous when it came to helping others. She would change her plans at the drop of a hat to help someone out… doing things like pick up people who were stranded and drive them hours away. But she typically would plan, or rather over plan, most things. She was adventurous in that she was up for trying just about anything. Rather than adventurous I would say she was creative.

Question: Referring again to Ma’s many adventures in your dad’s Facebook posts. Did she often refer to life’s happenings as her adventures?

Answer: I have heard her use the phrase “it was quite an adventure…” but no, she did not use that kind of phraseology on a regular basis. It was extremely rare. And when she did it was her way of trying to stay positive about a circumstance that went wrong.

Question: Was your dad in the habit of referring to your mom’s antics as adventures while she was alive?

Answer: No. never. EVER. The only time he ever told stories about things that she did was in one of two circumstances. 1. If they had company over, or they were someplace where he was trying to seem friendly, then he would often bring up something that she did. However, there was ALWAYS this underhanded connotation that she was either incompetent or just too dumb to know better. She was the punchline of her “adventures.” 2. He would relate something that she did to me or to others as a complaint. I’ve mentioned that I have never felt comfortable with the way he has treated her pretty much my whole life. That extends to the way he talked about her. Here again she (aka the “woman”) was the punchline.

Question: Kerry refers to her as his bride in the Facebook posts.Did your dad ever, or often, refer to her as his bride while she was alive?

Answer: I have never heard him call her that… ever… in my entire life. He just called her “woman.”

Question: Had your dad mentioned any household items or your mom’s personal belongings as missing? Her pillow, clothes or pajamas?

Answer: No, not till after the fact… He told a reporter with the Missouri Times in an interview that he had the matching John Deere pillow there at the house with him. According to him, absolutely nothing was missing from the house, none of her personal items or anything was gone.

Question: Had you noticed any of the items found with your mom’s remains missing from the house over the last 2+ years?

Answer: Honestly, no. I was focused on the medications (antidepressants, Viagra etc.) But after seeing the pillow that my mom made with the John Deere cover at the scene I really feel like we should have noticed.

Answer from Elizabeth Messer: I recently recalled a memory from around the first week. Lynn’s pajamas were not on the bathroom hook where she kept them. I asked Kerry at that time about Lynn’s pjs and he said the police took them, the hair brushes and some other stuff… but… Lynn was in her pjs when they found her remains. I also asked about other stuff belonging to Lynn, but Kerry sent me on a goose chase and told me to check the basement, the attic, the Jefferson City house; he only immediately said that the police took the pajamas. I’ve asked the police about this but I haven’t received an answer; other than, they did take stuff for the dogs to smell.

Question: Did the sheriff show your dad where your mom’s remains were located?

Answer: Yes. After the FBI released the scene the Sheriff took my father up to the scene. I am not privy to everything in the investigation, but I do know that because of my father’s lack of cooperation most communication is going through the coroner—although he has told media outlets that the FBI took him to the scene.

Question: At one time you mentioned to me that some quilts belonging to your children were missing. Were those found with your mom’s remains?

Answer: No. They were not. My oldest son’s baby quilt that my mom made can be seen in photos that have been posted on social media where my father used them as props at missing persons’ events.

Question: Did your mom tend to stay grounded and on task regardless of circumstance? Had it been a pattern in her life, or was she easily shaken? (I would think she was a strong woman since she had endured your dad’s alleged treatment of her for most of her life.)

Answer: I would say yes. She tended to muscle through whatever she decided that she was going to do, even when it caused her pain. Like going out to work with the cows after her hip replacement or sewing for hours after her shoulder surgery.

Question: Were you aware of her being emotionally downcast over health issues?

Answer: Sometimes. But she typically kept things hidden pretty well. I was totally shocked when I found out that she was going to have hip replacement surgery. I didn’t even know that the doctors had told her that the replacement hips where not going to fix her hip pain until I was talking to Elizabeth, after I had argued with my mom. That’s when Elizabeth told me.

Question: If her pain level was as severe as mentioned in the Find Lynn Messer Facebook posts, how did she help your dad on the farm in the days leading up to her death?

Answer: Thursday she drove the tractor mowing for several hours. Friday and Monday she didn’t do any farm work, but Saturday we were all supposed to go to a get together for a friend (the husband was home from the army so it was a big deal for us all to go and see them), and I had talked to my dad asking if we were going to need to work on Saturday (July 5th) hauling the hay out of the field. But he told me that we didn’t need to worry about it until Monday since there was no rain in the forecast till Monday night. On Saturday, my mom called Elizabeth to tell her that she wasn’t going to be able to make it to the party. Heading to the get-together we drove past the field with the hay that we were going to move on Monday, and there they were, my mom sitting in the truck while my dad was loading round bales with the tractor. That is all that I know of the farm work that she did leading up to her disappearance.

Question: The Find Lynn Messer Facebook posts cause me to wonder if her pain level was so high that she should have been bedridden. Did she spend a significant amount of time in bed or sitting around the house due to pain?

Answer: She had an insanely high pain tolerance, so she would literally force herself to do things. Like spend hours on the tractor in pain… come home sit for a few hours with ice packs on her hips… then get back up and start doing house work. Or get on the treadmill for a few hours. Or simply go back to work.

Question: I don’t know if you read the Find Lynn Messer FB page but it appears to me, over the last few weeks that your dad has possibly been writing in a way that could portray your mom as emotionally abusive, or borderline emotionally abusive to him with the way she, according to him, laughed at him when he made mistakes or was hurt. Which leads to my next question: Was your mom emotionally abusive to your dad? Did she often laugh at him or take delight in him making mistakes or getting hurt?

Answer: No, I would not say that my mom was emotionally abusive of my dad at any time. You have to understand that my father is so controlling and demanding that when we would be working on the farm doing different things, he demanded that everything be done a very specific way. Most of the time he would come up with a new way of doing things, almost every single time (which was of course the “right way” to do it). The result of changing the way we do things all the time occasionally meant that somebody got hurt. Safety has never been a concern. From time to time when he would get hurt while we were working, it was a direct result of the specific way he was doing things; such as arranging the cattle panels or the truck differently when working with the cows, or something like that. So because of his insistence that we didn’t know how to do anything and he did… the results were from time to time a little bit humorous (obviously not the slightest bit funny when anybody actually got hurt). But his descriptions of laughing along or finding the humor in things are total misrepresentations. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen him scream at my mom for her nervous giggling. Even though he would outright laugh and mock us if we got hurt (doing things like making me run the chainsaw with a broken hand and laughing at me as I turned pale and winced in pain, and making me cut and haul brush with broken ribs). I have never seen him respond the way he has described in his FLM Facebook page. The most common response has been outrage, and placing the blame on others for his mistakes. Responding by basically saying it’s your fault that my plan didn’t work, even when she would gently try to redirect him to a much more reasonable way of doing something. I have seen him hit my mom with sticks of firewood he was tossing out of the truck and then yell at her for not paying closer attention to him.

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You may be asking why Abram feels the need to talk about all this here on my blog, and Aarron on his Facebook page notes. In my opinion, it’s common for individuals suffering through trauma to repeat their story over again – not only to tell us, but to tell themselves that it really happened. They possibly believed lies and have a need to repeat the truth so it will cement in their minds. If this is the case, remember that it will take a long time to mend their hearts and minds from the past way of incoming information being tightly controlled—to freely and logically thinking through new information, memories and experiences.

11/30/2016, Lynn Messer: Note, what note?

This letter is reprinted with permission.

Aarron and Abram Messer have been cowriting public letters and posting them under notes on Aarron Messer’s Facebook page.

Aarron and Abram Messer, Wednesday, November 30, 2016

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Week before last during an interview my father seemingly opened his wallet and showed the world a note that my mother allegedly left when she disappeared on July 8th 2014. That’s it right up there. Of course that’s not all of it. As Kerry said in that interview he couldn’t share the other half because it wasn’t addressed to him. My daughter commented to me the other day almost nonchalantly “grandma didn’t write that.” “What do you mean?” I asked and she said what I have thought and wouldn’t couldn’t say out loud, “grandma didn’t call grandpa, “Pa” she called him “Pop.” Grandpa would get so frustrated and correct her because he wanted to be called Pa, but she called him Pop”. It’s true and it’s just one of many questions and problems with the truth about this note that my dad has now shared.

See on that morning, one I never wanted to experience, I can remember as clear as day hearing about the note from my dad, I was the first person to hear about it. The very first words that were told to me about it led me to assume it was a suicide note. But that is not the case. At 6:30 AM I pulled down the driveway and parked out by the barn. My daughter Emily had a show steer that she needed to work with and mom had left me a message the night before about being sure I was there before 7AM when the summer day would start to heat up.

I had been working at a firework stand in Concordia Missouri several hundred miles away for the past few weeks. The kids had been with their mother in Nebraska and in-between when the kids weren’t with me Kris my Ex refused to bring the kids to work with the show steers like they needed too. The drama between my Ex and my parents is a footnote though. The long and the short is simple Kris would not step foot on the farm so during her summer custody times my mother had been working with Emily’s steer.

Just the week before that steer had stepped on her foot breaking her toe. But that morning while my grumbling teenage daughter stubborn and bitterly began to work with her steer. I listened as the sound of a 4wheeler somewhere on the farm came closer. I saw my dad driving down the hill that’s where my mothers scent trail that the search dogs followed from the house ended, and the path to the back field where we eventually found mom. He came down the driveway and into the barnyard. Emily and her steer were just crossing the barnyard and I was preparing to close the gate to the show ring in the middle of the barnyard when he began to speak.

My dad asked, “What’s your plan today?” I told him we were working with the steer, that I needed to be in Fenton to do a little side work, and that mother was going to watch the kids that morning till I got back. My dad’s next words, I will never forget. “Well, I can’t find your mother, and she left a note that has me concerned.” He explained that he had been looking for her since early that morning when he woke up alone, and then he said, “why don’t you just take the kids and head on home today?” Now I was in total shock and my mind was racing a million different ways.

I asked him if he had checked my house? We had spent the night at my girlfriends 20 miles away and hadn’t been home so my house a mile away just off the farm would be a quiet place to get away too and no one would have noticed her being there. He told me no, and as I stood dumbfounded and confused in the middle of the barnyard he parked the 4 wheeler, jumped in his truck and drove off the farm. Kerry as we found later lied to the investigators multiple times denying he had left the farm that morning. He only admitted to having left the farm after he failed a polygraph in May of 2015, this was the second polygraph he failed. All just before investigators informed us of his new relationship.

I want you to understand and it’s important that you grasp this, in the same breath as learning my mother was missing my dad told me the note existed and that the note was something that clearly had my dad convinced that my mother may have harmed herself. That’s right the very first words about mom being missing and the note that my dad spoke to anyone was that the note caused him to be concerned that she might hurt herself. He said this with a tone that implied mom might have just killed herself. In fact the very first phone call I made to anyone a few minutes later was a weeping overwhelmed conversation with my girlfriend telling her that my mom is missing and that my dad is afraid she might have killed herself.

I want you to contrast this with the intentional words that my father has spoken telling us and insisting that this was not a suicide note, and making the case that my mother was off her rocker because of medication and had maybe wondered off confused in the middle of the night. I panicked but me panicking is a somewhat reasoned response, I searched the farm around me immediately. Now I had no reason to think my dad was hiding my mother’s body, but I will be frank I didn’t know what to do. So, I searched the trunk of their car, their basement, the attics, I searched the outbuildings, the apartment, the loft, I opened the grain barrels in the barn, I ran frantically searching any place a person could be hidden right there in the barnyard.

My daughter had practiced with her steer and she was done, so I sent her to put him back in the backyard. I put my kids in the car and drove home. My overwhelming dread was compounded, my dad had driven off he hadn’t answered any questions he was gone, my mom was missing I hadn’t been home for 2 weeks and the front door to my house was wide open when I pulled up. I had the kids wait in the car and I searched my own home, every room, the garage, the basement, the attic. No signs of anyone. It hit me maybe dad had left the door open moments earlier? I tried to call dad, no answer, I called 911. If my dad has been searching for my mom since 4AM and he hasn’t seen anything we need help.

I like many people had no idea what they could do? After all don’t the police make you wait 24hours before you can file a missing person’s report? Dispatch said they would have an officer call me. I have no home phone and I often lose signal in my home, so I gave them my parent’s phone number. Almost as soon as I hung up I realized dad isn’t home! I called Abram. I asked him did dad call the police yet, “I don’t know… “Well did he tell you about the note? ” just now, he called me and told me to go move the cows… he was up here at 4:15 this morning and he didn’t tell me anything about a note, earlier! … “Well when I was working with Emily and her steer this morning dad said mom is missing and he found some note she left that has him concerned.””

As we talked it became clear Abram woke up at about 4:15AM, as Kerry was trying to open his front door. Kerry asked how the 4wheeler ended up at his house, Abram explained he had driven it home the afternoon before. After asking about the 4 wheeler Kerry turned and walked away pausing momentarily at the end of the house to casually say “well I don’t know where your mother is, and I don’t know what’s going on”. But that was the whole conversation. Kerry never spoke a single word at 4AM about the note, its content or why he was worried about finding mom. Abram went back to bed unaware that there was any crises.

Elizabeth and Abram have reflected their conversation was along the lines of what did he want? He can’t find mom… What? Since mom and dad had been having septic tank problems, they had been using the bathroom over in the apartment across the driveway. She’s probably in the bathroom over at the apartment. Abram reflected, anecdotally commenting to Elizabeth about a time when we where young, how mom had gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and found herself turned around in the dining room, and was lost in the dark walking around in circles around the dining room table… They had no idea dad was worried that mom had disappeared or that she had left a note implying she was going to hurt herself the way dad told me.

Moments before I called Abram, Kerry had called him and told him, “move the cows into the bottom field.” When Abram pressed him trying to find out what was going on, Kerry told him “I don’t need you to do anything. Just move the cows and go back home.” As Abram tried to question him but Kerry again responded by telling him “just move the cows and go back home… don’t come down.” While Elizabeth couldn’t go back to sleep after the whole house of dogs had been awakened at 4AM she sat on their porch. She watched around 6am as Kerry drove the 4 wheeler up and checked on the waterer for the cows. Casually, he drove around examining different cows. He looked over at her from the 4 wheeler and shrugged his shoulders with arms outstretched as if to be like ‘well I don’t know?’

Sitting on the porch Elizabeth never heard him drive all over the farm searching for our mother as he claimed later to have done. Frankly after waking them up and driving off he never expressed concern to them again until he heard that I had called police already. So Abram related how the morning had gone and he asked if I had been able to reach dad on his cell phone? Abram had tried to call him as had I, calling his cell and his house phone multiple times. Since neither of us could reach him and the only thing dad had said to Abram was to move the cows we really began to wonder what was going on.

I drove back to the farm, with the kids. I sent them to play on the rope swing in the backyard and I grabbed their cordless phone. I frantically reviewed the last few numbers dialed on my mom’s cell phone and house phone considering maybe she had, called her sister, or a friend and had gone with them somewhere. I contemplated calling her sister to ask, but was too afraid of upsetting her and causing a panic. The last few numbers showed no unusually calls or conversation with her sister or friends. The phone rang it was a deputy; he asked a few questions and told me he was on his way out.

Thankful I hung up waiting for them to arrive. Within seconds my dad returned to the barnyard with the truck he had left in. He looked at me rather perturbed like why are you still here? I asked him, have you called the police? He said “no”. But before he could talk further I said, “well I have already, they’re on their way.” But before another sound came out of my mouth in an agitated and angry bark my dad said, “I want you to leave.” My dad was so angry, if steam could have been pouring out his ears it would have been. I just turned and walked to the backyard.

My kids had known that grandma was missing they were with me they understood something was seriously wrong. So they were confused as I asked them to come on get in the car we’re going to go. While I herded my kids to the car, Abram pulled up to the house. He was eager to help find mom, knowing now that something was seriously amiss and coming down despite dads admonition to stay home. Kerry met him in the barnyard Abram asked “What’s going on?” Dad was still seething, “your brother’s already called the cops and they’re on their way, you need to just go home”. But Abram was pushing asking more questions trying to figure out what was going on, only to be met with yells of “GO HOME”. Finally since Kerry was getting so hostile, Abram who was at this point extremely shook up began to head back up the driveway.

As Abram drove up the driveway he met the Sheriff’s deputy coming down the driveway. The officer asked what was going on and Abram related as much of what he knew as possible. As I drove out of that barnyard with my kids I had no clue what any note said or where my mother was. But I watched as my dad walked out of the house towards the gate at the end of the yard to meet the deputy who was getting out of his car. I took hope knowing that whatever had happened at least the proper authorities were involved now.

In 2015 when I confronted my dad and as Abram, Kerry and I talked my dad revealed how in those minutes between getting rid of Abram and I he rushed in the house and made copies of this note. He took those copies cutting the note in two and throwing away half the note. So in the video interview earlier this month my dad lied as he claimed that he couldn’t show all the note because a portion was not written to him and was not his to share, the truth is on day one he threw away the portion of the note that was addressed to Abram. The reason he couldn’t share that portion of the note has nothing to do with to whom it was written but that he threw that part of the note away!

Now for the first 11 months the police refused to allow anyone to see the note. I understand investigators need to withhold information but this was not the case. As they had shared with me, they had refused to show us the note because Kerry asked them not too. In fact my dad has continually tried his best to keep Abram not just from knowing about the note but from ever seeing the portion written to him. So publicly dad says oh that part of the note isn’t written to me, privately he would like to pretend that portion of the note doesn’t exist and Abram should never see it even though it was written to him.

Months later investigators would find out from third parties that Kerry had made these copies of the note. That he had been showing people the note but not his kids. So when they found out that he had made these copies and was showing them to people, they were very concerned. On the first day they had asked him several time did you make any copies or taken any pictures of the note and he insisted, “no.” When they came to him and asked about him having the copies well why did lied about making them? So they asked him “why did you make copies?” and he responded by saying “because I knew this was going to be a long drawn out ordeal, and I didn’t know when I was going to get the note back.” So once again investigators scratched their heads wondering, How could he possibly know that this was going to be “a long drawn out ordeal” that’s certainly not what he told the public, or our family.

Over those months Abram and I both experienced incredible feelings of guilt and shame, as a direct result of his decision to hide the note from us. When you are doing everything possible to try and grasp why your mother would disappear, and you know that some devastating note that made your father think she killed herself is hidden from you and you are never allowed to see it, imagine the thoughts your mind goes through thinking why shouldn’t you see this note? Perhaps it says, it’s your fault Aarron, it’s your fault Abram, maybe that note goes on about how disappointed and how ashamed she is of your divorce, or that her grand-kids aren’t perfect enough, maybe we upset her so much with our lives, maybe she was so upset at us that she decided to kill herself and she said that in this note. Why did we have to go through every iteration of guilt and fear over what that note said? Because, Kerry decided we don’t deserve to read the last words our mother wrote.

Consider how our dad put his photocopied piece of the note on video for the public, but never showed his own family that note. Despite being asked and after knowing fully what the note said he would lie. He had copies of the note he was showing others but not us. During 2014 when Abram asked him about the note he responded by saying “the only thing we know from the note is that your mother is either dead, or will spend the rest of her life in a mental institution.” Now parents want to protect their kids, but consider that while Kerry is putting us through a living nightmare of shame and fear, the entire time he is carrying around a copy of a portion of that note, clinging too it in his wallet. So he takes peace and comfort reading it to himself while keeping us from knowing a single word of what it says.

For the entire time he refuses to tell us what the note says, when we repeatedly ask him what did it say. Abram asked him directly “was I mentioned in the note?” Kerry said “No”, over and over again, “it has nothing to do with you”, “it wasn’t written to you”, “it doesn’t have anything to do with you” and “THIS IS MY NOTE… IT BELONGS TO ME!!” All of which are absolute lies. The portion of the note that you have not seen that I have not seen is addressed directly too Abram it speaks directly to him and it has nothing to do with any kind of note finality as Kerry has said. It is a discussion of things that Lynn and Abram had argued over in the weeks prior to her disappearance.

In one of the more bizarre interactions when the investigators were asking Kerry about that portion of the note, he said, “I told her not to write that.” The officer asking him stopped and said “what did you tell her not to write?” And Kerry said, “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to correct myself, I did not just say I told her not to write that- that is not what I said”. Now he has never explained how or what he could have meant by that. Just he accidentally let slip that he watched her write the note, and that he criticized what she had written, and maybe just maybe that explains why he cut out that portion of the note and threw it away. Perhaps he knows that it doesn’t have anything to do with my mother disappearance. I don’t know any other possible way to explain this fact. Either he watched her write the note on the morning of July 8th or had he watched her write the note to Abram on the Thursday before when they had argued? Does that explain the forensic results?

Investigators have been evaluating and examining this note for years now. It has been evaluated by the foremost forensic handwriting specialists with the FBI. Looking for clues as to the mental state of the writer, considering their emotional state, hesitation in their writing, was it written under duress, who wrote it? All these things were examined, and in the end the best information shared has been that investigators cannot definitively say even if my mother wrote the note. I would love to be able to share the note with you but too this day I have never seen the original note or read the entire thing. Even this picture he submitted to the media is not remotely close to the same thing as the original note. What? That’s right look at the way the note looks crisp clean, do you believe it’s the same note he has carried for two and a half years in his wallet? My daughter said again to me what I didn’t want too, that’s not been in his pocket for years. If I carry a note in my pocket for a day it fades, the paper looks blue, that note was just put in his wallet.

Now that may not mean a thing but think about it. My dad orchestrates an interview yes he has shut out the media, NBC has been preparing a documentary on my missing mother for months and he has refused to speak with them. But he calls reporters and invites them over, sits on my bench in front of the apartment I rent from him and pretends to make an impulse decision to open his wallet and share the note my mother wrote him. He says he has been carrying the note… But he shows a fresh copy probably one he made that day it has one set of fold lines, that aren’t crisp or aged, the paper he pulls out and pretends to be emotionally unable to read on camera is clearly a brand new note he just put in his wallet.

My dad told Abram and I the same story in 2015 when we confronted him about his secret girlfriend and he admitted and told us how he had demanded that investigators keep the note from us. He threatened the detectives saying that if they showed us the note he would not cooperate with the investigation. When we confronted him Dad opened his wallet and pulled out a faded old paper that looked completely different than the one he just put on camera. He read it to us, explaining how it was written too him and it belonged to him and he was livid that the police would violate his demand to keep it from us.

So the picture above, the note he prepared ahead of time, which I feel has been enlarged and clearly was freshly folded and placed in his wallet for the purpose of pretending to pull it out and read it. It fails to demonstrate exactly what my mother wrote anyone. What I do know is the note that was given to investigators, is written in two different colors of inks. Investigators believe it was actually written at different times, clearly it was not one thought but two separate thoughts both written on the same page. Why would anyone sit down to write a note with one pen write two lines then switch to a sharpie write something completely different to someone else and then go back to the other ink pen and write another line which also doesn’t fit with anything else you had written?

The first half was written above and the rest was written directly too Abram. It discusses a biology text book from high school and refers to the chapter on human reproduction. Abram had brought several issues to my mom’s attention and had discussed how she had lost her temper with his kids. That she had developed a habit of ambushing his wife with complaints. She would let her concerns build until in an overwhelming moment of frustration she would unload on people. When mom argued that she had never ambushed anyone Abram shared how, in high school, the kitchen full of teenage girls participating in a home economics class mom was teaching that a discussion unfolded where the class of girls laughed at Abram for not knowing what a sanitary pad or tampon was for. Abram embarrassed and being humiliated by mother who stood outside the bathroom door in front of kitchen full of teenage girls, explained in specific detail female menstrual cycles.

Abram hid in the bathroom mortified that his mother would ambush him in such a harsh way. That example was one of the issues that Abram had just discussed with our mother and had been a major discussion regarding why Abram would be upset that mom lost her temper and snapped at his kids while they were working with their 4H steers. She had made repeated outlandish comments to her grand-kids about how if they didn’t work harder with the show steers that there would be no money.

Mom was always devastated and terrified that the family was broke. She was not allowed to know the details of her financial affairs because my dad insisted on keeping that hidden from her. She was not allowed to know what the balance of the checkbook was. She was incredibly upset that if the steers did not show well at the fair that coming weekend that they wouldn’t sell for a good price and they would lose thousands of dollars already spent in feed on the steers. In fact she repeatedly called her sister imploring and begging her to buy one of the steers at the fair almost terrified in her pleas that if they didn’t buy one of the steers maybe there wouldn’t be food to eat. Of course after Kerry calculated the cost of the feed and the final sales price of the steers the kids each sold their steers for more than a $1,000 more than was spent raising them.

So this note Kerry says he found the second portion is written to Abram and it talks about the textbook and the discussion between Abram and Lynn. In fact the note was left on top of that textbook for Abram. But Kerry never allowed Abram to read it or told him anything about how it was written too him. While, Kerry had not been present for the argument between Lynn and Abram he was fully aware of the context that the note was written in. In fact he said so during the confrontation between my dad, Abram and I during the spring of 2015. Kerry lied to the investigators saying that he had no idea what the note meant and he hid the details of the argument with Abram and its relevance to the content of the note.

In interviews Kerry has claimed that he had no idea about the argument and that he never understood the second portion of the note until discussing the details with us in the spring of 2015. This is a lie. In fact he discussed and brought up the argument with Abram numerous times with investigators. During my confrontation with Kerry, he also acknowledged that he knew that Abram and my mom had made amends. He knew that as soon as Abram realized that he had lost his temper with mom he immediately apologized and made a commitment to her that he would make sure that he took proactive steps to make sure they would not let stress build up between them.

The day after their argument Abram and his family had gone to a get together with my mom and dad at a friend’s house for the 4th of July. Clearly things had been settled between Abram and mom since they had a great time together eating, talking and laughing late into the evening together. It has become clear that Kerry has viewed and used the note as a means to indict Abram claiming that he had driven Lynn off the mental edge. There is no doubt from the numerous times Kerry has said exactly that too me, that my dad has convinced himself that my mother is dead today because of Abram. Or at least that is the story that he is telling behind closed doors. If this were in fact true, do you really think my mom would have spent hour after hour with Abram and his family the very next day laughing and talking over dinner, fireworks and a bonfire?

Kerry’s relationship with Abram has deteriorated not simply because of Abram’s questioning of dad, but because Kerry has tried to blamed Abram from day one. He knew that the note the second portion was not written too him, it was too Abram and he has expressed that he would like to pretend that that portion of the note doesn’t exist. While Kerry has privately excused his lies too Abram, investigators, and I about the note as some type of attempt to protect Abram from feeling guilty, he has in fact blamed Abram and actively shifted guilt and blame too Abram. What has really happened is Kerry has blamed Abram completely and to hide his own feelings and or actions he has lied over and over again.

In April of 2015 the detectives sat down with Abram. They explained to him how that Kerry had told them that if they showed anyone the note, or talked about it that he would no longer cooperate with the investigation. They continued to outline the problems they were experiencing in the investigation. That Kerry was no longer cooperating with the investigation. In an effort to have some questions answered they showed Abram the note. It is also important to know that on the morning of July 8th 2014 Abram had told the investigators in specific detail all about the argument that he had with mom. The investigators knew from the beginning the context which that portion of the note was written in… in spite of Kerry’s lies about not having any idea what it meant. It was in fact the nature of conversations between Mom and Elizabeth, and Mom and I about Abram that investigators first focused on.

It is important to know that mom would often leave notes for us. Many times she would leave notes for Abram and Elizabeth sometimes at their house and sometimes at her house. The fact that a note exists would not be unusual by any means if anything it would be ordinary. So when you read the note understand that its content is not atypical but is more passive aggressive than typical. As I mentioned previously the note is written with two different types of ink most likely at two different times. The top lines are written with a fine blue pen the middle section written to Abram is written with a green Sharpie marker and the closing line is written with the same blue pen as the top two lines.

The text of the note as best as Abram could relate are as follows.

“I am sorry pa to put

you through this

I love you with all my heart.

Abram on the table you will find the biology book. the last chapter has the stuff that you were told to read but we never discussed. there is also the bible study book with the information that I “never taught” you. I am sorry I made you hate me.

Sorry everyone”

The wording may not be exact because Abram is recalling it from memory only seeing the note once, but this is the most accurate reproduction we can make. As you can see the note is certainly not cohesive and seems to be completely separate thoughts collected on the same page. If you look at the actual note that was written to Abram it would make total sense if she wrote the note to Abram on Thursday the 3rd of July given Kerry’s admission saying “I told her not to write that.”

So to conclude, my mom wrote a note. A note to her family, to everyone…maybe. A note was written either way. Mom, wrote a note to Abram and dad hid it from him, from me, from everyone and lied and lied and lied about it. Dad manipulated the investigation, has misrepresented what he knows about the note to the public, to his family, to investigators. He has used the note to control us, the investigation, to try and get pity from you. We don’t even know if mom wrote the note, or maybe he did? At least the portion written to Abram looks like mom’s hand writing. So the note doesn’t answer many questions but it certainly doesn’t indict Abram for having driven mother over the edge. Speaking of which, we need to talk about my mom, she was upset. She was depressed, she was overwhelmed and she didn’t get help. My dad knows that, he denies it but he knows it. My mother’s mental health is the subject of our next discussion.

11/23/2016, Who is Spring Thomas: By Aarron Messer

This article is from Aarron Messer’s Facebook page. He has given me permission to print it in its entirety.

Our frustrations can be overwhelming. There are so many questions we do not have answers too that at times you wonder if there is anything you can do? One of those questions is what role if any has my father’s relationship with his girlfriend Spring Thomas played in the disappearance of my mother? I can’t answer that question. I can’t because I don’t know. However I can answer several other questions that can help you understand why our family is so pulled apart. I will not be proposing theories. I will not be speculating.

What you are reading are only facts that I know too be true from personal observation and direct statements from eye witnesses, detectives, Abram, Kerry and myself. Some facts may be denied by others or glossed over. This does not invalidate them as facts.

Dr. Thomas, Spring’s father was a dentist for 62 years he owned and operated a small dental clinic on Manchester Rd in St. Louis and besides his very public faithful Christian service to his church, organizing Easter Sunrise services in Babler State Park for half a century and beyond, a founding board member of Westminster Christian Academy he was an extremely sacrificial supporter of my father’s ministry for as long as I can remember. He not only was our families dentist a role in which he offered his services for free to support the ministry, but he personally paid for an orthodontist to extract all four of my impacted wisdom teeth 20+ years ago. He financially was a faithful donor to the ministry throughout his life until he passed in 2012.

Prior to my mother’s disappearance I personally had only met Spring a few times in passing. However Spring lives on a substantial piece of real estate in Wildwood a farm which she inherited from her parents. Spring was an only child, and both her parents have passed away. Spring was a caregiver for her parents caring for both of them as they aged until they died. The only family experience Spring has known has been caring for her parents. In fact being a caregiver is a common thread Spring and Lynn shared. My mother having cared for both her in-laws until they passed.

Spring has never been married and has no children. She loves her cats and serving her church and has a reputation for going out of her way to quietly care for people going through difficult circumstances much as my mother did. As her father was aging and after he retired from his practice, Missouri was experiencing a severe drought. The price of hay was off the charts and many Missouri farmers were selling off their cattle at rock bottom prices. Despite our family farms location in Ste Genevieve county being so far from Wildwood an arrangement was made in which Messer Farms the farm business entity belonging to Kerry, Spring agreed to house cattle in Wildwood to graze fields that were not being used and Kerry would help with the upkeep on Spring’s farm. This relationship continues today.

I cannot speculate on the relationship between Kerry and Spring at that time. However Abram has never been comfortable with the behavior between Kerry and Spring when working on her farm. The level of interaction communication and the nature of this business relationship which was much less about business as friendship was quite different than with any of you. You may know Kerry and Lynn from church, his ministry, homeschooling, even have known him since high school but I assure you that unless you worked on the farm with my father as Abram, Robert Fina, and myself have you do not know the particularly oddity of the non-public persona of Kerry Messer. In public my father has had to maintain an absolute veil of perfection. His suave charm and perfectly articulated speech is carefully crafted to maintain his image. Step into a field and let a calf run past you when we’re trying to get them through the head gate and you will see an entirely different Kerry.

Lynn thought very highly of Spring having shared a kindred spirit, in watching your parents age and pass. When a wife at church was dying of cancer and she called in her husband and told him who she wanted him to marry once she was gone sort of a loving match maker caring for the spouse she left behind my mother was enamored. She idealized and romanticized this notion of picking your spouse’s new partner. My mother picked Spring to be her replacement for Kerry. She not only went out of her way to tell Elizabeth “if anything happens to me, I think pop should marry Spring Thomas” on Monday the day before she disappeared but she made the same comment to several ladies from her church.

Of the many unanswered questions we wonder, what conversations did Lynn have with Spring? See Lynn personally asked a close friend in the weeks prior to her disappearance for prayer because she said, “I am going to have to have a confrontation with someone and it’s not going to be pleasant.” Was that person Spring? Lynn went to meet with Spring the week before she disappeared, it was just the two of them. What was that meeting about? I don’t know and while it may be easy to conjecture at we just don’t know, the same as investigators don’t know. Because, Spring has refused to answer further questions or submit to a lie detector test, on the advice of her attorneys. This is not speculation it is exactly what my dad told me when I asked why isn’t Spring willing to take a lie detector test? Regardless of the content of their conversation this was a critical point in my mother’s life, and the questions need to be answered.

In the weeks after mother disappeared many people volunteered to help search and support the search efforts. Spring was among those volunteers. In the first week of searching my dad established a rule that no one come in the house. This rule was strictly enforced. He asked women family friends not to hug him, because he was, “uncomfortable feeling their breasts” against himself. He especially did not want any women coming to see him in private or entering his house while he sat alone inside. This was and is bizarre for us but it’s actually normal for my dad.

See Kerry has always insisted that his behavior be above reproach that no one may be able to accuse him of inappropriate behavior around women. I was always taught that my dad would run up and down the stairs in Jefferson City at the capital not simply because it’s quicker but because he wouldn’t want to be in an elevator alone with a woman besides my mother. He refused rides back and forth to Jefferson City from women. Mind you the older ladies who drove out every week to feed representatives and host a Bible study had no intention of harming his reputation but dad had to be above reproach. When my dad drove the church bus, he refused to drive by himself if there was a possibility that a single woman would ride the bus.

There has been a suggestion that my dad has had affairs in Jefferson City, and my father has issued a challenge asking that anyone who knows of any affair come forward to the media. I would caution anyone who feels that this establishes some kind of alibi to know that it is not fair to do so. Detectives have assured me personally that multiple sources from Jefferson City have already stepped forward with allegations in private. Making his public challenge does not clear your name, it might sound good in a news story but… But the work of Missouri Family Network is renowned in conservative republican circles and anyone who would speak negatively of Kerry or make such an accusation publicly may soon find themselves unemployable. His challenges are not a defense but are intimidating for a victim and in a sense one day could be considered a criminal offence like witness intimidation.

I can personally speak of a particular relationship with a volunteer in Jefferson City who was very close to my father who poured hours into helping the work grow who suddenly overnight was a pariah too our family and the ministry. This young lady was a married volunteer and remains an active participant in Missouri politics. I couldn’t have been but a young teenager when this happened. But in years later when my mother was asked what happened why did we stop working with this family? My mother said that the young woman had made allegations that my father had made sexual advances on her.

Again legislative aids in the state capital building working in offices that my father worked through complained that they were uncomfortable that my father made physical advances on them. The first to complain was fired because my father’s reputation was so strong the only conclusion this senator could make was that she was lying. But after the replacement LA brought the same complaints about Kerry the working relationship between the MFN and the senator’s office completely disintegrated. While these incidents are not proof of any affair they reflect a clear inconsistency in the outward character of my father. Publicly upright and moral privately who knows? Well investigators know because they have been and continue to field calls from accusers and his children have known of these grumblings and rumors for years although we do not want to believe them.

The facts are that Spring Thomas was intimately involved in the search efforts for my mother from the beginning. As the investigation unfolded and detectives followed up on leads they heard how my mother has suggested that Kerry marry Spring if “anything” was to happen to her. They attempted to contact Spring to discuss her relationship with my dad and my mom. At the six week point of the investigation into moms disappearance Spring confirmed in a written statement that she was in fact in a relationship with my dad. After she made her statement to police she messaged Abram and in an odd conversation asked Abram if it was appropriate for her to continue to participate in searches? Abram was flabbergasted he had no idea why she would ask that? See the only people aware of Kerry and Spring’s relationship at that time was Spring, Kerry and investigators. Abram has since reflected that the purpose of that discussion was to identify if police had told him about the relationship.

Even before rumors of Kerry’s having a girlfriend surfaced numerous search participants came forward singling Spring out as having a special connection to Kerry reflecting on the close nature of Kerry’s attention bestowed on her when she was on the farm. Without prompting numerous people have identified and reflected that they knew something was up in the manner in which they interacted in those early days of searching. Spring herself had seemed glowing as she spoke with other searchers about her feet getting wet, and how Kerry had taken her inside the off limits house in private had dried her feet off and provided her with dry socks and shoes to wear.

No one in our family besides Kerry was aware of his relationship with Spring until May of 2015. When I describe too you the facts of my father’s relationship I am relaying to you not a theory or idea but his own words that he shared with me as I confronted him. The how and why of this confrontation begins with a follow up meeting with detectives that I had. At this point there had been zero real progress in the physical search for Lynn. Detectives explained how my dad had asked them permission to satisfy his urges for female companionship. That he had complained that he was accustomed to an active sex life and that the absence of Lynn was not simply emotionally draining but physically unbearable. They told him that they didn’t care what he did but they felt that was a conversation that he should be having with a pastor.

They told me that my dad was seeing Spring on a regular basis having dinner in private, dating, talking on the phone every day spending the majority of his time with her. They speculated that they did not know if there was an affair that had begun prior to July of 2014 but they explained numerous other things that my dad had orchestrated and had asked the police not to tell me or Abram. They did not fill my head with ideas that my dad was having an affair or had killed my mother, or try and turn me against my dad. They only shared the truth of how my dad had intentionally misled me and Abram and was hiding his new relationship.

I went home and I carefully weighed what they shared. I waited 24 hrs praying and considering how to respond to this information. I then went directly too my father and confronted him. Over the course of the next 9 hours of conversation he confessed to hiding the relationship, and explained that he really wasn’t sure when it had started but that he had feelings for Spring and hadn’t stopped thinking about her basically since mom disappeared. I demanded that he come clean to Abram and we spent all evening discussing the relationship and its consequences along with other elements of deception that he had pulled over on us including the content of the note.

While there is so much to say I will simply say that when I asked my dad if he had a girlfriend? He said “NO, but Aarron when did you start talking too Penny?” Now Penny is my girlfriend and has been my friend for ten years. She was my coworker with whom I carpooled with whom I had worked for 7 years prior to my wife leaving me. Despite allegations otherwise which incidentally I am very much accustomed too she and I had remained friends and nothing more until well after both our past relationships had ended. Now the only reason to try and morally equivocate on my relationship with my girlfriend as a divorced man was to defend his relationship as being comparable. I redirected his clever attempt to disarm my question and asked him if Spring Thomas was or was not his girlfriend and if he was or wasn’t dating her? At which point he argued that he wouldn’t call it dating or her his girlfriend.

What he did admit was that he was attracted to Spring and he was deeply in need of sexual satisfaction that he couldn’t take not having sex 4-5 times a week. He said this was why he needed the relationship with Spring but then he said he only ever holds hands with her. So his reasoning for needing the relationship was for sex but he isn’t having sex. Whatever that means. He then used all kinds of excuses to explain that if God didn’t mean for him to be with Spring that God wouldn’t let him be with Spring. He argued that he wanted to be accountable to Abram and I and wanted to ask our permission to see Spring but that they (Spring and Him) had talked and felt that it was best to keep their relationship a secret until after the one year anniversary because it wouldn’t look good otherwise.

So he intended to ask our permission but only after he had a secret relationship for ten and half months first. He explained that he couldn’t go on living without her. That in the first few weeks after mother disappeared that he was drawn to Spring that he was having feelings for her, but he wanted to distract himself from her so he had tried to pursue a relationship with another woman from his church instead. Kim had survived cancer and also been a good friend of my mother, and she worked for a counselor that he had begun to see. He asked the counselor if it was appropriate to talk to her about his desire to pursue a relationship with her and the counselor said lets pray about it after the young woman heard about Kerry’s interest in her she was deeply offended she felt it was completely inappropriate and spoke in confidence about it with investigators. So Kerry related that he had been drawn back to Spring since Kim had turned him down.

Kerry was having long telephone conversations with Spring and she invited him to come to Christmas at her house. Kerry related that on the first Christmas after my mother’s disappearance he spent all day with Spring. While that may not have particular significance too you my parents were married just before Christmas and it was an anniversary they always celebrated together. My mother had a carefully built a Christmas Eve tradition. Our family has dinner together steak, twice baked potatoes, salad, and dirt cake after which we attend Candlelight service together. On the first major holiday without mom Kerry insisted that we not have our traditional dinner, but we wanted too so to satisfy him we changed what we would eat.

He told us, “I don’t even want to see you or your kids, or have any of you down here for Christmas” but then that Christmas Eve the day before he spent all day with Spring, he showed up for our mothers traditional dinner late and while we were eating said, “I don’t want anybody to make a big deal out of it but I got a special gift for a special lady” and he explained how he had carefully purchased a gift for Spring. Later that evening he handed out gift cards to his grand kids, who later reflected about his comments about Spring and how he bought her something special asking why did he buy her something special and not us.

While he told us during that discussion that he was so lonely that without Spring he would have committed suicide, we tried to grasp why had he refused to come to our family gatherings or participate in our mothers traditions and when he did come was he completely focused on Spring. He told us that on Christmas Day while all of us are mourning and trying to hold together our mothers memory and celebrate Christmas with our family that he chose to spend his holiday cementing his relationship with his new girlfriend. After that Christmas he spent almost every day with Spring, until the legislative session began at least that’s what he told us.

Now for the dozen years that Abram has worked with dad in the ministry the majority of the time they have carpooled riding together to Jefferson City and back. But dad admitted to us that he lied specifically about needing to drive separately back and forth just so he could stop every time on his way up and back to spend time with Spring. As Abram has said he barely saw dad in Jefferson City that entire session, he would come and go, disappearing as he confessed to spend most his time on the phone or with Spring in secret.

Throughout the 2015 Legislative Session dad lied over and over again making excuses to hide his relationship with Spring from Abram. Throughout the evening my dad confessed to going out of his way to hide the relationship. He admitted to telling and asking the police to keep his confidence and keep their relationship a secret. He expressed a livid anger and hostility on how investigators had betrayed him by telling his children his secrets. There are several other acknowledgments that my father made that night to us, including how depressed my mother was and the fact that she had been receiving treatment for her depression for years but I will speak to those issues in another post.

The single most difficult element of this knowledge regarding his relationship with Spring has been to gauge in my heart my father’s posts on the FindLynnMesser page about how deeply and dearly he misses and loves my mother while knowing that the entire time his heart belongs to someone else and that he is deeply in love with Spring Thomas and not my Mother. If you understand that my dad told us that he spoke with detectives in September of 2014 about pursuing a relationship with Spring, but Spring had confirmed that she was in a relationship with my dad, and the only upfront and honest thing my dad has done was that the same day six weeks after mom disappeared he called detectives, “to be up front with them” and told them that he was in a relationship with Spring.

So every drawn out laborious woe is me I am miserable and alone post that my dad has made on the FindLynnMesser page is a lie. He has been happily pursuing his new girlfriend the entire time I don’t know how you could ever look at my dad’s post the same. I certainly can’t! For the past year and a half I haven’t been able to read a single word my dad writes about his broken heart and lonely estate so hurting and so lost when I know for a fact that he is completely absorbed in his new romance.

So you might ask how did you respond to your dad’s albeit hesitant and forced confession? Abram and I talked for hours with Kerry. We presented to him multi-tiered objections. To begin with it is important that you understand that we expressed every single one of our concerns to dad that day. We addressed anyone’s emotional knee jerk responses too our objections and I will outline them. We are not jealous. We do not see his new relationship as a replacement for our mother. We have absolutely no objection too our father remarrying in due time. We have no judgment on Spring’s moral character and our opposition has never been based on her being a bad match for our father.

Consider if you will the pain when you now know of the relationship and how it had existed months prior, reflect with us how in the late summer of 2014, Abram at Spring’s farm overheard Kerry “joking” with Spring say “I just got rid of one woman, I’m not in a hurry to get another one”. Consider with us how those comments hurt when you now know our father was privately doing exactly that. Remember we were having this conversation with him in the Spring of 2015, our mother has been a missing person for 10 – 11 months. Our father has just admitted to pursuing a new relationship after less than 2 months of our mother being missing. Our concerns is not that it would be awkward to be dating after your spouse dies in two months but that when you do not know if your wife is alive or not, you do not know anything about where she is you aren’t immediately at ease to pursue another woman.

Our objection though isn’t that he shouldn’t or we don’t think you should our objection is this if you do you are tarnishing your personal reputation, you will damage your own reputation and by extension the ministry you built in Missouri Family Network, a corollary is not only that MFN will lose its reputation but that MFN not only provides his salary but provides all of Abram and his family’s income. Abram’s home which Daryl our grandfather had given too Abram was still in Kerry’s name. Not only could this damage Abram’s family’s income but if it focuses suspicions on Kerry and prevents investigators from pursuing legitimate leads or if he is prosecuted and they somehow prove he is complicit in mothers disappearance Abram might not just lose his income, his ministry, but his home and the result of this relationship could be putting Abram destitute and leaving his family on the street.

Our concern was that this would distract from the actual investigation, harm the ministry and possibly the entire family. We also brought to him that this action would alienate him from all my mother’s family and relatives. We expressed our concerns that he might not be prepared for the consequence of choosing Spring over his entire family. We asked him what this relationship would mean if Mom shows up? What would he do how would his heart handle the conflict? I asked him if it was wise to be in any relationship at all considering that a missing person cannot be declared dead until after they have been missing for 5 years? Was his intention to date Spring desperate for sex but holding out because they couldn’t get married till mother was declared dead in another 4 years? And he replied well we might find her any moment.

For hours we were baffled as he confessed to pursuing this relationship in secret, lying over and over again about it telling us he intended to continue lying about it for months more. He expressed how angry he was that police had betrayed his confidence and told me. This was compounded as we discussed how he had hidden and lied about the note as well. On the practical side I expressed concerns that Spring was an only child, who had never experienced raising children, having a marriage before, or siblings was she going to be the best choice as a future mate for him considering the need to be a surrogate grandmother, mother etc… was she fully prepared was it fair to her for him to pursue this relationship to gratify his own desires without considering how much pain the suspicion and the calling to be a replacement for my mother might be? To be blunt Spring appeared to me to be so very much like him alone losing all her family mightn’t they simply be sharing in their aloneness instead of grieving the loss of his wife?

How could he have mourned his wife and moved on to a new relationship in 6 weeks when we didn’t even know if she was dead? I was terrified that he had not sought counsel or processed any of his grief and pain appropriately and that this relationship may just be an escape from facing the reality of his pain. After hours upon hours of expressing and discussing our objections, and concerns Abram and I explicitly presented a path forward.

We urged him to step down immediately from MFN to allow someone else to run the organization until all the questions surrounding the investigation could be settled and to let Abram step forward, and function as the face of MFN in Jefferson City. We outlined that an agreement needed to be reached to transfer title of Abram’s house into his own name and I suggested that a family trust be created to protect the rest of the farm from any possible legal attacks resulting from the possible prosecution in mothers disappearance knowing that keeping the farm in the hands of her grandchildren was my mother’s desire. Kerry agreed with all those proposals.

Kerry suggested that he wanted to have Abram and I as his accountability partners for his relationship with Spring he promised to be completely honest and forthright to tell us when he is going to see her every time he sees her. We both couldn’t imagine that responsibility and the very last conversation of the evening after our objections after our exhaustion of trying to reason with him against his relationship over and over again, Kerry commented, “well I was going to go see Spring tomorrow, we should talk about this if that’s ok with you?” Abram couldn’t respond, how dare he really after all our objections he just asks us permission after we just said no, no, no we do not want you to pursue this relationship he says is it ok? I gave him the only response I could muster. I am not the one you answer too, you do what you want but don’t ask me for permission, don’t ask me if it’s ok. I mean come on really if you can’t listen to me saying this is wrong for 9 hours what good would me saying no don’t go see her tomorrow do?

Well that weekend dad brought a group of people together after church and started talking about how he has developed feelings for Spring and told people that I am ok with him dating her. So apparently he couldn’t listen to my 9 hours of objections but he heard the 10 seconds of it’s not my place to give you permission. So of course Abram and I started receiving endless phone calls and messages as word spread from people very, very upset about Kerry’s behavior and his girlfriend. And those calls have never ended. So what does Spring Thomas have to do with my mother’s disappearance and death? I don’t know. But my dad’s behavior is disgusting and if you want to know why no one and I mean no one in his family respects him. It has to do with his lies, his deceptions his betrayal of us as he has gone out of his way to blame police for trying to frame him. He has accused us of trying to take the farm, of trying to ruin the ministry.

When your dad says I lied to you for the past year because I wanted to protect you from the truth so it’s ok that I lied and refuses to ever admit that he did wrong it’s hard to be on his side. Like I said Spring Thomas might have nothing to do with what happened to my mom, but her relationship with my dad and his lies about it have everything to do with why Lynn’s family wants nothing to do with him, including her sons. Remember our objections focused on how keeping this relationship a secret lying for months and planning to continue to lie makes you look guilty. Our overarching concerns all stem from the fact that my dad’s behavior if continued makes him look bad, it makes it seem like he must be hiding other things. The discussions about how his behavior implies guilt and taints his reputation really compound when you consider the things he has hidden about the note and mother’s depression which I will expound on later.

There is so much more that Kerry has done to make up stories about Abram and to try and discredit him and his bold opposition to my dad. Let me give you a list. Kerry has lied about, Lynn’s history of depression, suicidal thoughts, and treatment. He has lied about the cats that she killed when she wanted to hurt herself. He has lied about the note that was written to Abram, he has lied to Abram about the note over and over and over again, he lied to investigators about the note. He has lied to Aarron about Spring even when being confronted he lied too my face, he has lied to the media about the police, he has lied to everyone about Spring, he has lied about Aarron being ok with him dating.

He has lied about Abram’s character, he has made promises to resign from MFN and refused, he told Abram that he was going to turn MFN over to a third party and then refused instead claiming that Abram was trying to convince him to commit suicide. He fired Abram and told him he had to pay rent on the very house he promised to relinquish title too that belongs to Abram, forcing Abram and his family out of that home. Incidentally he only did so after Abram voiced his objections to dad’s behavior publicly.

He has lied about Spring cooperating with police, he failed his lie detector tests, he lied when he said he is cooperating with investigators, he has refused to speak to detectives. He has lied about Abram’s child hood, he has made wild accusations about Abram, he has lied about the argument between Abram and Lynn.

He accuses everyone else of mud-slinging simply for calling him on his lies, his own church asked him to step down as a Sunday school teacher and deacon because of his secret relationship, we have been told that the ministry no longer represents the Missouri Baptists Convention, or the Christian Life Commission but why should that matter he has said that his fundraising since mother disappeared has been better than ever. He lies to each and every one of you every time he posts on Facebook about how much he misses his bride because he is with his new one every day.

My father lied in his last media interview when he says his relationship is on hold because I watched them cooking dinner and kissing each other in his kitchen two weeks before I found mom. Then yesterday the two of them spent all day working cattle together. He lies about how hard it is to do work on the farm without any help because he has had his girlfriend helping him to bale hay and she has been working on the farm this whole summer.

He lies when she’s with him when he has her park her car in secret and drives her around scurrying her in and out of the house from his car. I watched her drive past the farm turn around in a driveway and drive back the other way like she didn’t want me to see her coming to his house the week before I found mom, just to watch her pull into the barnyard 20 minutes later when she thought I was gone. He sees me driving down the driveway and she is in his car so he drives off into the field as if I am not supposed to notice her sitting next to him. All those wonderful pictures of Lynn he took when they were dating well he’s taking pictures of Spring just the way he used too with mom and he is actively continuing their relationship all while pretending to be such a woeful hurting abandoned husband.

Now I have been opposed to their relationship not because he isn’t entitled to move on with his life but plainly because he refuses to come clean about it. He hasn’t developed feelings that have caused people to think he had an affair, he has hidden his relationship with his girlfriend and treated that relationship like it was a secret affair lying and covering it up, that makes everyone wonder what else are you hiding Kerry and why? But if you are a church member of his church reading this you deserve to know. Abram and I have spoken with numerous pastors, deacons, and men from my dad’s life that have gone to him privately and voiced their objections and concerns over his relationship in every conversation seeking Biblical council, prayer begging that dad see the damage his sin has caused and continues to produce. My father has chosen his secret girlfriend against the advice of dozens of counselors. Abram sought to hold him accountable in his church, but the pastor of First Baptist Church Festus Crystal City has practically ignored his behavior.

Abram sought to follow the Biblical outline for dealing with someone in sin, already having addressed this issue in person and in private. We have reached out to him with deacons and church members bringing witnesses to address Kerry in a Biblical manner. Finally he sought discipline to hold dad accountable before the church body or just the deacons even but to no avail, the pastor responded to his requests by saying “that’s not going to happen”. The week after finding mothers body I spoke with my father’s pastor and he told me that no one in the church had a problem with me or Abram. This is unbelievable to me my dad has split his church in two we have heard from members leaving and the divided body refusing to speak to each other the few that think Kerry can do no wrong refuse to listen to the truth and the ones who tell the truth are outcasts minimized and castigated as gossips and accusers for speaking the truth.

There comes a time when you are so disgusted you just can’t go on ignoring behavior. That time has come I am tired of hearing my dad malign and demean my brother for following the Biblical standard of accountability. I have waited because I knew that if I voiced my concerns they might be misconstrued. I understood before that the detectives needed to put pressure on dad, believing that he was lying about his knowledge of where mom was. But now we have her and they have evidence to process that we eagerly wait for so the pressure we put on dad now won’t find mom and it isn’t and shouldn’t be misconstrued as police desperate for any lead at all.

I do not blame my father for my mother’s death. I am not accusing him of anything related to her disappearance. No, regardless of what the police decide about his involvement or if he is ever charged with anything at all my father has destroyed his own reputation by the manner in which he has conducted himself. I will not sit idle by while he attacks my brother for speaking the truth. When you see the calls for him to come clean we do not simply mean to imply he did something to mom, but just stop lying for any reason at all dad. Lying to protect us from the pain of the truth is wrong there is no justification that makes it right.

The time to repent is now. So yes we have gone to the media because my dad’s church won’t hold him accountable. Yes, it is possible my dad didn’t just lie about his girlfriend, the note, my mother’s mental health, Abram’s childhood, about being accountable to me and Abram, transferring the home that was given to Abram into his name, or all the other things we discussed like cooperating with the police, maybe he has lied about something else? How would we know? He lies about everything it seems how would we know if he isn’t lying about knowing where mom was all this time? I don’t know. Not a theory, not a speculation just a fact how would we know. He can’t be honest about anything else apparently…

11/23/2016 Lynn Messer: Abram answers more questions

In Kerry Messer’s recent, Find Lynn Messer, Facebook posts do we read explanations and justifications for events in Lynn’s life, rebuttals to possible accusations that have been leveled at Kerry, and answers to probable investigative talking points?

It appears when articles come out in the local newspapers, evidence is revealed, or a blog post is written that Kerry writes about why the specific talking points all makes sense according to who Lynn was and what she did. When you read all his Facebook posts does everything line-up and make sense…do you understand why Lynn would have disappeared, why she would have been out in the rain in the dark of night without her walking boot, or how the order of events took place?

Again, thinking of the events surrounding Lynn’s disappearance and the finding of her remains, I have a different perspective, and different questions. I explained my background, which has nothing to do with Lynn or her family; here… I’m simply looking at this from a different point of view; from the view of…what if? What if something like this happened to a woman who had been in an unhealthy marriage?

*I will reiterate that at this point no one has been found guilty of any wrong doing in Lynn’s disappearance or in the discovery of her remains.

Among Abram’s reasons for sharing information with me was for women in abusive relationships; as well as, abusers to see the warning signs—to know help is available and to believe change is achievable. Abram also hoped that putting more information in the public eye could bring about a possible witness stepping forward with testimony or evidence. He also wanted people who supported his father to open their eyes to other possibilities of his mom’s disappearance.

Random questions and answers from my conversation with Abram Messer:

Question: Had there been a shift in your mom’s behavior? Did it seem she was preparing for death or wrapping up loose ends?

Answer: “Because my mom had spent not only a year and a half working with the kids on their 4H steers for the county fair which was a few weeks away. She had just spent weeks preparing for VBS… She spent the Monday before she vanished working in VBS. Everybody who saw her at church that night said her behavior was totally normal. My mom stopped by Wal-Mart on Monday night on her way home and bought supplies for Tuesday night’s VBS. If you knew how frugal and constantly worried about money she always was I would say there is no way she was preparing to do anything but go and work in VBS for the rest of the week.”

I spoke with Abram Messer back in July of 2016 and the following is information he gave me in regards to his dad, Kerry Messer, and Spring Thomas. Abram also gave a couple of more comments in the last few weeks to news/media outlets.

Question: Are there any other odd encounters you have had with Spring, or times you have seen her with your father that stood out as inappropriate? Before your mom’s disappearance; or after?

Answer: “From the very first time I met Spring in 2012 I was uncomfortable with the way I saw my father interacting with Spring. Not once or twice… but every single time we went up to her farm with the cows or went up to work on the fences, they seem overly comfortable with each other. Then when we took the cows back to her farm in 2014 (early fall of 2014), my father said to Spring,

‘I just got rid of one wife, I’m not in a hurry to get another!’

It seemed that Spring thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard.”

“Anytime I say anything about Spring he gets mad,” said Abram. “I realized something was off when we were searching and my father made a big announcement that he was not going to let females come into his house.”

Abram explained his father was so stringent he would not allow his mother-in-law, Abram’s grandmother, to come inside and sit in the air conditioning where he was sitting.

“He made her sit out in the 100-degree heat, but yet when Spring was there doing searching, Spring was the one going around telling people that when she got her feet wet, my father took her into his house, dried her feet off and gave her a dry pair of socks and dry shoes to wear,” recalled Abram.¹

Abram said there is no doubt in his mind whatsoever that it (Kerry and Spring’s relationship) was going on for a significant amount of time before his mother went missing.

“…you will never convince me that this was something new that developed six weeks after my mother went missing.”²

“As we began to develop the belief that we were probably coming close to something, we knew the more desperate he would become to keep us quiet,” Abram said sternly. “I will protect my children and I will protect my wife. Even if it means having to protect them from my own father.”³

Question: Does your dad hold any life insurance policies on your mom?

Answer: “Yes, my dad has a life insurance policy on my mom, on myself, and on my wife, Elizabeth.”
Now, on to the Spring Thomas connection: There isn’t much detail to fill in at this point so I will list reported information in chronological order.

Six months preceding Lynn’s disappearance she supposedly went to the barn to take her own life; but instead, turned the gun on cats. This leaves more questions:

Is it possible Lynn already knew about an affair and was so mad she wanted to kill someone? I believe she loved the Lord too much to do that—so, maybe instead, she killed cats; Spring’s other reported objects of affection?

Could this be the reason Kerry said she never tried to commit suicide before her disappearance? Did he know it wasn’t a suicide attempt, but just a fit of rage or a warning?

When deputies from the sheriff’s office were at the Messer home the morning of July 8, 2014, the family was asked if Lynn suffered from depression or had ever attempted suicide. Kerry said Lynn did not suffer from depression, had never been on any medication for depression, never tried to commit suicide, and never talked about it. Elizabeth, Abram’s wife, responded in front of Kerry and the sheriff’s officers that Lynn had tried to commit suicide a few months ago but instead turned the gun on the cats and killed the cats.

Elizabeth insisted that Lynn did, to which Kerry faltered, “I didn’t know you were aware of it.”

Did Kerry want to keep the focus of the investigation off of the farm property? A suicide would keep investigators searching for a body on or near the home. Would a disappearance possibly keep the focus off of the home and farm and out in the community?

According to Abram, two weeks before Lynn disappeared she went to the home of Spring Thomas to pay her a visit. Abram does not know what transpired at this private meeting.

The day before her disappearance, Lynn told Abram’s wife, Elizabeth, “If anything happens to me—I think Pop should marry Spring.”

Again, from my background, this brings up another question. Had Lynn’s life been threatened? Was she thinking ahead to how she could keep her son’s relationship with their father intact should something happen to her? Was Lynn pondering divorce? Would divorce proceedings in a court of law require showing all bank accounts and assets which; most likely, would be evenly divided between the plaintiff and the defendant by the judge? Was Lynn considering suicide?

Those who witnessed Kerry’s reported behavior around Spring before Lynn’s disappearance may have possibly seen the reason Lynn mentioned Spring in particular.

This leads to more questions: Was Spring Thomas searching for a dear friend who was missing? Could this have been a front for how she and Kerry would spin a story of how they came to spend time together? Could this have been to help control the search and keep people away from evidence? Was she feeling a sense of guilt over Lynn’s disappearance? Or is this purely innocent and coincidental?

When detectives were finally able to get Spring Thomas to respond to them six weeks after Lynn went missing, she would only provide them with a written statement, admitting to being in a relationship with Kerry.

It was six weeks after Lynn went missing that Spring sent Abram private messages through social media. He remembers this on the time line because, in hind sight, it was the same time he believes Spring Thomas was baiting him through messages to find out if Abram knew about her relationship with his dad.

When detectives went to see Spring Thomas, she admitted being in a relationship with Kerry six weeks after Lynn went missing.

A few hours after the investigators talked to Spring, Kerry Messer, called the sheriff’s office. He felt he needed to inform them, and that he wanted be up front with them, about an ongoing friendship he had with a woman named Spring Thomas.

This is reportedly the time when Kerry discontinued cooperating with the investigation. Is it purely coincidental?

Why did Kerry insist that Abram move the cows into the field where Lynn’s scent trail led, which subsequently destroyed the scent trail? Or is this too yet another coincidence? Is it another coincidence that when law enforcement insisted that Kerry move the cows out of that field, he moved them into the field which was right next to where his beloved bride lay just a few yards away?

Kerry, Abram and Aarron all agree on one thing; Lynn was a woman who loved others above herself and served others as a way of life. Does this sound like a woman who would call late at night to make arrangements with her grandchildren for the next day while planning on killing herself within minutes or hours?

11/18/2016 Full interview with Kerry Messer

Full Interview with Kerry Messer: This is a filmed 30 minute interview where you will hear Kerry Messer’s views, ideas and frustrations surrounding Lynn’s disappearance, family turmoil, and the investigation.

11/12/2016 Son speaks on how remains were found

11/12/2016 Suspicions run high within the Messer family

Here is the bulk of information Abram gave me months ago. We were going slow in releasing information; plus, I became busy with selling our family’s home and moving. Then Lynn’s remains were found which has allowed the process to speed up…leading to the freedom to release more information.

I found the above article, and the white towel incident with Kerry, especially interesting. Authorities made it clear during the original investigation and search of the property not to move or touch any questionable evidence. Kerry is the one who posted on the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page public service announcements for hunters about how to deal with found items. Kerry handled the situation against protocol.

11/12/2016 The Legacy of Lynn Messer

Here is a beautiful tribute to Lynn from her sons, Aarron and Abram Messer. This is a testimony of a life well lived, a woman dearly loved and missed, a fragrant offering to the Lord, and a void that cannot be filled.

I don’t mind if you’ve got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
And you could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the who’s-who’s and so-and-so’s
That used to be the best at such and such,
It wouldn’t matter much.

I won’t lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights,
We all need an ‘Atta boy’ or ‘Atta girl’
But in the end I’d like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world.

I want to leave a legacy,
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to you enough?
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy.

I don’t have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It’s an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such
Will soon enough destroy.

I want to leave a legacy'(repeat chorus)

Not well-traveled, not well-read
Not well-to-do, or well-bred.
Just want to hear instead,
Well done, good and faithful one’;

I want to leave a legacy..(repeat chorus)

11/5/2016 Lynn Messer: One Answer Abundant Questions

Now that Lynn’s remains have been found and identified there are more questions that need answered. I’ll begin asking a few of those questions while the FBI and sheriff’s office take care of finding answers to the cause of death. Perhaps the cause of death will lead to answers, truth and/or justice.

How does Spring Thomas feel when she reads the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page written by Kerry Messer? I find it interesting that Kerry does not talk about his relationship with Spring in any of the weekly postings on Find Lynn Messer.

This summer’s ongoing rains have been delightful for a few reasons, but none as precious as the way they trigger memories of happier days and fun times with my Bride!

This is the third summer of loneliness without Ma, and ironically it is also the third summer of unusual rains for our area. In a sense it has been a double blessing to also have the additional unseasonal rainfall which has kept the fields green and the livestock happy. Typically we face various struggles on the farm from mid-summer to mid-fall because of the hot and dry conditions. But The Lord has seemingly been helping out as I struggle to manage things by myself. After all, Lynn has been our farm manager and has always made most all the decisions regarding livestock, forage management, field rotations, and all the related planning for surviving rural farm life.

Where does this leave Spring Thomas? It’s as if she doesn’t exist.

And then there is this recent article which quotes Kerry Messer speaking at Project Jason, a support group providing care and support for families of missing persons, primarily adults.

Did Kerry mention to the crowd while speaking at Project Jason that his life hasn’t been so lonely since he has a, “covenant relationship” with Spring Thomas and has had since at least six weeks after Lynn’s disappearance; and possibly before the disappearance?

August 25, 2016 Aarron Messer: In His Own Words

This is a letter Aarron Messer posted on his personal Facebook page last month. He has agreed to share it with my readers.

“I waited till after I spoke with my brother before sharing this. My brother and I were raised in the same home but while we are close in age we experienced greatly different impressions of our parents over the past few years. You may not find that when you get done reading this but my world has been turned upside down and I am just trying to grasp it.

This article, Daily Journal Online: Son shares another perspective on disappearance is his (Abram’s) story—his sentiment. I can’t say there isn’t another side to much of the content of the stories he shares; there is. I know that the content is true even though I didn’t see it as abuse at the time. However, from my perspective there are things you should know.

My ex-wife and I don’t agree on much, but you can ask her—I have always felt that the most important thing to me in my former marriage was to not be my father. I have never wanted to make excuses but I never knew a different set of parents than mine. So I only knew them as they were, while I never liked my father’s dominant control over my mother it was just the way it was and it was what my mother accepted.

I was just as blind to the abuse as I am sure my mother was. I have always considered my father’s attitude toward my mom as off and distasteful. I have been very frustrated and angry at him in the past for the way he treated her in private. To be completely open with you when I married at 19 I was desperate to treat my wife any way but the way he treated my mom.

The little things like the way he called her, “woman.” The way he referred to her in an analogy in a family wide text message after my mother’s hip replacement surgery, when she had trouble and had a fever, he didn’t tell us mom has a fever, he jokingly talked about her as if she was a car at the mechanic and her temp was running high. It made my stomach sick.

A few years back when I was pastoring, my mother had a rather lengthy private discussion with me about wives and submitting to your husband biblically. She expressed concern because she believed it was her duty to do what her husband says even if it meant doing something you believed to be sinful because it was on your husband if he told you to do wrong. Your duty is to obey him. She was seemingly shocked when I objected and told her,
“No absolutely not. It doesn’t excuse you from doing wrong.” She told me her “friend” was forced to do sexually repulsive acts and participate in viewing pornographic material with her husband because he told her too and it was her duty to obey. She didn’t really feel that it was right to do those things but that the wife couldn’t be guilty of doing something wrong if she was just submitting to her husband.

I heard many a time as a young man before I got married the instructions from my dad repeated by my mom to pick a young one so you can train them right. It was disgusting and laughed off, “Oh that’s Kerry making a joke.” My parents met when my dad was a high school senior and my mom was 14. The story I was always told was that my mother ran away from home to be with my dad and they got married when she was 17.

My dad did not involve my mother in financial matters and my mom was always—always terrified of their financial state. In the last few years it became clear to me that my dad kept her from knowing financial affairs because he had to be in control. Despite my best efforts, that behavior followed me into my marriage and was a major contributor to the deterioration of my marriage. I know that I thought I was protecting my wife…she can’t panic about what she doesn’t know; after all that was what my dad did.

In the past few weeks before mother disappeared she was panicking about the steers, and their finances. She told her grandchildren that the grain to feed those steers had cost so much money that the kids probably wouldn’t make a dime after they paid their grandpa back. Of course this was nonsense; more of my dad keeping her in the dark. It wasn’t a joke…my dad refused to tell my mom what was in the bank. As he would put it, “She can’t handle that.”

There was good.

I can’t remember a time where my parents didn’t start their day taking a bath together and doing their daily devotional together in the bath tub. The arguments and disagreements weren’t ugly because my mother complied. My wife did not. In retrospect, she shouldn’t have. I don’t regret that my wife wasn’t submissive, but that I had been taught she was expected to be. My mother may have been trained, she may have been brow beaten and conditioned into compliance, but my mother was absolutely devoted to my dad. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t abuse.

I have always known in my heart that the way my dad dominated my mother was wrong. But I allowed myself to believe it was just the way their relationship was. She chose to be with him. She believed she was doing the right thing. Of the many wrongs my mother experienced—not recognizing the signs of abuse and not helping her is one of my biggest regrets.

Even now, looking back…conversations, parenting decisions, jokes such as, “we don’t believe in divorce, murder yes—divorce no,” they all take a new light. I am reconsidering my childhood all over. Still, none of this makes my dad guilty of murder. None of it answers where is my mom, did dad do something too her? It is truth and it pulls back an ugly curtain and shines the light on every dark blotch of my parent’s lives. I don’t want my mother to be thought of as an abused, depressed wife driven to suicide.

Doesn’t every child want to see their parents as perfect? What do you do when one disappears and the other one is the only suspect?

I have said this before and it’s the plain truth, when the police asked me what I would think if my dad hurt my mom, “anyone is capable of anything.” I don’t have evidence. If they do then use it to file charges. Where is my mom? I haven’t a clue today anymore than I did 2 years, 14 days and 18 hours ago. My attitude hasn’t changed. My dad has destroyed his own reputation and I am sick to my stomach, but get it right folks; he did this too himself. He has had every opportunity to come clean, to let the truth be told, and he has always chose to keep the public in the dark…hide the real you…don’t air that dirty laundry.

He has managed his public image and your impression of him for 30 years. He isn’t going to change today. Maybe that’s the real mistake my brother and I have made, thinking that finding our mother is more important than what you think about my dad. If you can’t tell, Find Lynn Messer has nothing to do with finding her, just managing your impression of the grieving husband. Ignore the replacement for her that he’s had for the past 100 weeks, of 106, since she disappeared.”

August 21, 2016 Evidence: Lynn Messer’s Note

Yes, we are now discussing the note that has been entered into evidence and examined by the F.B.I.

It wasn’t the first time that Lynn had left notes. Abram remembers other notes his mom left for them where she would sometimes be relatively passive aggressive while voicing her opinion.

We will review Abram’s accounting of what led to the note, but first, I want my readers to know I would rather not include a private disagreement for which Lynn isn’t here to defend herself. However, since an attempt has been made to use the note as hypothetical evidence to show that supposedly, after suffering abuse by Abram’s hands, Lynn apparently did something to herself to escape Abram—I decided to use Abram’s account of what led to the part of the written note that pertained to him.

It began one day when Abram’s mom baked a delicious batch of homemade cookies then called Elizabeth, Abram’s wife, and asked if she could bring cookies to the grand kids. It appeared that the cookies were a front, a way of visiting the house while Abram wasn’t home, for voicing a complaint to Elizabeth.

Because Elizabeth had already been dealing with enough anxiety, and since she had hashimotos, an auto-immune disease which can be aggravated by stress, Abram knew that it was his job to protect Elizabeth and not allow unhealthy boundaries to grow. He talked to his mom to clarify what transpired and it grew into an argument. He wanted his mom to stop ambushing his wife; which his mom denied doing.

He yelled at her that she did do it and that she wasn’t to talk to or treat Elizabeth like that anymore. Abram told his mom if she had a concern or a problem they could deal with it, but she had to stop her ambushing. His mom retorted, “I don’t do that. I’ve never don’t that!”

To which Abram inquired, “So you’ve never done that?”

His mom protested, “No. I have never done that!”

Then Abram reminded her that she had done it to him many times throughout the years, he could remember major ambushing dating back to when he was sixteen years old. She said she had no idea what he was referring to so he dredged up the past and narrated it to her.

At age 16 when Abram and Elizabeth were dating the two of them were sent to Wal-Mart on an errand by her parents to buy cheese and salad for dinner preparations. Elizabeth retrieved the food items and having an ornery, comical side to her, sent Abram after an item she needed; tampons. Abram found them and as he saw Elizabeth walking across the store toward him he yelled, “Are these the right ones?”

Abram later asked Elizabeth what the tampons were. She told him they were for her period, but Abram was clueless as to what exactly a, ‘period’ was because his parents had not taught him about, ahem….reproductive organs or procreation.

A few days later, Elizabeth attended a home economics co-op that Lynn was teaching in the Messer’s home. Elizabeth pulled Lynn aside privately and told her what happened. Saying “Abram doesn’t know what a period is. I think you should probably have a conversation with him, or maybe you could just give him some reading materials—because I don’t think you want me to have that conversation with him.”

Address it she did; that day, during the home economics class while there was a group of 10-15 teen girls standing around.

How did she do this you may be asking? First we will set the background for it.

Abram remembers privacy not being promoted in their home, in the bathroom or the bedroom; in fact, there were slats in the bathroom door which didn’t allow for total seclusion. His mom waited until Abram went into the bathroom during the home economics class to have, ‘the talk’ with Abram. She pronounced loudly through the door in very specific detail over the giggles and laughs of the girls in the class.

So when Abram’s mom said she never ambushed, didn’t remember that, and had no idea what he was talking about; the above example was his rebuttal. After they went back and forth for quite a while, Abram realized that he had lost his temper with his mother (they were in the truck driving over to a neighbor’s house to bale hay), and the two of them sat quietly for several minutes. In the emotional moments that followed Abram apologized. He went on to tell her that he loved her, and made her the commitment to work through any future stresses between them in a healthy Biblical manner.

Abram thought things where fine between them because a day or so later on the Fourth of July, Abram and his family went to a family friend’s house with his parents and celebrated the holiday together eating and talking all evening long. An interesting side note, the “Find Lynn Messer” Facebook post of July 3rd, 2016 mentions Kerry and Lynn spending the Fourth at a friend’s house, but omits the fact that Abram and his family were there. It has been brought to question if this was an attempt to shift blame by altering the facts. If Lynn was upset enough with her son to harm herself; it is extremely unlikely that she would have spent an entire evening sitting around the table talking, laughing and visiting together for hours.

On the morning of the July 8th, Abram revealed all of the details surrounding this conflict with his mother to law enforcement. Abram has been open not only with the detectives, but with many family members and friends.

The note page has been analyzed by the F.B.I. All we really know is that the note was written with different inks, potentially at different times.

Between 7:30-8:00 a.m. his dad mentioned the note in passing—while also telling Abram NOT to come down to his house. Instead of wanting Abram to help locate Lynn, he wanted him to move the cows, and stay home. His dad told Aarron about the worrisome note before he mentioned it too Abram, and Aarron decided to call the sheriff’s office himself and report that his mom appeared to be missing. Abram believes the call his brother made greatly displeased his dad because Kerry was irate that law enforcement had been called, telling both his sons to leave because the cops had been notified.

Different articles and Facebook posts over the last two years led readers to believe Lynn’s husband was the one who called the sheriff’s office. Several media outlets have stated that Kerry called 911. But this is simply another falsehood. Kerry had over four hours in which he could have called law enforcement—but did not. A four hour window of time for Lynn to have been missing is possible, but if one retraces the timeline there are possibly eight hours of missing time during which something could have happened to Lynn.

From what Abram has learned through the investigation; it appears words were deliberately phrased to cast the light of possible guilt on him and his brother. Abram is concerned that his father’s handling of the note possibly changed the way law enforcement interacted with Abram. By contrast, Abram was told by his father that the detectives told him he was not allowed to talk about the note to anyone. There are also other complicated issues surrounding the note. There are questions about Kerry moving and hiding the note the morning of July 8, 2014, and making multiple copies of the note before law enforcement responded that morning. Detectives didn’t find out about the reproductions until much later when Kerry was showing his friends the photocopies.

When Abram was finally able to read and examine the note these were his thoughts:

He believes the main body of the note was written directly to him, the evening of their boundaries and ambushing spat, or soon after. It references, “the talk” Lynn had with him through the bathroom door, and it was left out with his old biology book.

It appears, in his opinion, to have been written at different times, clearly with different pens, and extra lines written at the top and bottom of the paper.

He doesn’t believe it was a suicide note.

He does believe that she may have had information that she knew would be difficult for her family and she may have been preparing to present information to them—along with an apology for what she felt she had to do.

Abram was not allowed to see the note for nine months, and during that time there were a few notions deliberately planted in his mind.

“Because of the note we know that either your mother is dead, or she will spend the rest of her life in a mental institution.”

On the morning of the disappearance a letter from Lynn was recovered. It was “non-descript” but could have been interpreted as a suicide note.

The investigators wanted the letter to be kept a secret. The person who told Abram this claimed it was because investigators were trying to frame that person for murder.

Kerry has claimed in other media outlets that he doesn’t understand the note at all, that none of it makes any sense to him. For Abram, this leaves questions as to why Kerry told him on multiple occasions that:

He already knew all about the argument Abram had with his mom.

He knew all of the details involved, he also knew that Abram had been talking about the spat he had with his mother and speaking openly about it.

Abram is concerned that the mystery of the note, and the changing of the words surrounding it, are being used to shift the public eye of suspicion away from his dad while he claims that he is trying to protect family members by withholding information about the note’s content—but the family member he is claiming to be protecting is the son he fired from Missouri Family Network and forced out of his home; the home in which Abram, his wife and his children lived.

Questions abound.

Lynn is still missing.

God saw what happened.

He knows.

So we ask,

“Our Father in heaven,hallowed be your name,your kingdom come,your will be done,on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:9-10

“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 18:18

Heavenly Father,

We acknowledge that we are dust; Your dust. We praise you our Creator for being passionate about Your relationship with us. Thank you, Jesus, that You, “always live to intercede for us.” We are sinful. We mess up, forget, live in fear, and live in defeat instead of putting on the armor of God and living in Your power; growing the fruit of the Spirit and making faith a daily action.

Today, we thank you for Your word which, “is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword…” You are powerful and You have ordained that Your word is powerful; we believe, and therefore we speak—not think—but say out loud…Your word.

We agree together to continue praying for Lynn’s location to be revealed. You have a great storage room in heaven filled with gifts, blessings and answered prayers. If one of those answered prayers is for Lynn’s location to be revealed, then we pray for Your will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Reveal it! We bind evil, in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, from having any more reign over this situation; over the hiddenness of Lynn Messer. However it happened, whoever is responsible we ask, “Why do you hold back Your hand, Your right hand? Take it from the folds of Your garment and destroy them (destroy their plan to deceive; declare victory over the deception!)

8/8/2016 Lynn Messer: Patriarchal History

This is the fifth in a series of posts about the disappearance of Lynn Messer; wife of prominent Missouri pro-family, pro-life, pro-homeschooling lobbyist, Kerry Messer.

Kerry’s son, Abram knows and reads the word of God; and therefore, he believes the way his dad treated his mom was biblically wrong. Women are not objects to be used by their husbands for unholy purposes. He knew his mom did not deserve to be yelled at, cussed at, belittled, constantly referred to derogatorily as, “Woman” and made to feel unworthy by his dad. His mom was not called to obey her husband as though she were a slave. She should not have had to worry about finances, how they were going to maintain their home, or feed the life stock on their farm while his dad refused to write a balance in the checkbook because he wanted complete control and didn’t want his wife to know how much money they possessed. Kerry reportedly hid money from Lynn for at least a decade.

According to Abram, his dad fit the patriarchal movement; a social system where men are in authority over women in all aspects of society. This is not a biblical doctrine. Patriarchy tends to be a lifestyle taught in some of the Christian and homeschooling community at conferences and conventions. I pray that the planning leadership of such conferences no longer allow such harmful principles to be propagated within the homeschooling movement. Opinions should not be presented as scriptural fact through the twisting of scripture. Some opinions are not worthy of debate. In the patriarchal movement wives and daughters are essentially servants in their own homes. Often times the wives go along with this instruction and mentor younger women in the same beliefs. Lynn worked as a mentor in her church where she was teaching younger women about submission, under a patriarchal background, causing concern among other female members who were talking about removing Lynn from the mentoring program.

Abram Messer mentioned experiences that have been happening the last few months. He, and his wife Elizabeth, are having memories that hold important clues to his dad’s behavior. I too have had the same experiences as I remember past events and conversations I had with my former husband, who is now in prison; conversations that were clues to his real self and his hidden life; clues that add up and now make sense. I told Abram, if he and his wife are like me, the experiences will likely occur for years.

While Abram was dating Elizabeth during their teen years, and their relationship began to grow more serious, he said that Kerry made a phone call to Abram’s future mother-in-law, Elizabeth’s mom. Stories were fabricated and embellished to paint a picture that Abram’s parents had problems with Abram in the past. In hind sight; this is confirmation to Abram and Elizabeth that his dad’s secret life was much deeper and more frightening than they ever realized, and that his dad was concerned Abram would spill the beans on their family life. Therefore he paved the way with… Abram can’t be trusted or believed so don’t believe him if he tells you anything questionable about my behavior.

Abram Messer worked with his dad, Kerry, for Missouri Family Network as a lobbyist for twelve years. Abram often found it unsettling the way he saw his dad mistreat his mom personally, at work, and on the farm. He was concerned about the dual personality of his father who could switch on the charm, charisma and polished professional mask to anyone who wasn’t family. Abram loved his dad and didn’t realize the depth and seriousness of what he was observing; after all, it was the normal behavior he watched through the years of growing up in the Messer family home. Abram continued lobbying with his dad, and tolerating his dad’s behavior, because he believed God called him to work in Jefferson City; trusting that his obedience to God was important enough to bear twelve years of being cussed out, screamed at, and belittled on an almost daily basis. Behaviors which only intensified over the last two years. Including telling Abram and his wife that their pain was, “insignificant.”

Through the twelve years of working with is dad, Abram was never allowed to see financial records or mailing information. Shortly after Lynn’s disappearance, unbeknownst to Abram, a fund-raising letter was sent out to the M.F.N. mailing list, requesting immediate financial help during Kerry’s time of trouble.

Kerry later told Abram it was the most money he had ever received at one time from a financial appeal, and he was thinking of sending out another mailing. In hind sight, this is appalling since Abram thinks his dad had stockpiled two and a half million dollars in assets and kept it hidden from his wife and sons.

Abram said he and his dad have had three confrontations over the last two years. The first was late in 2014, when after Abram told his father that he believed his behavior around Spring for several previous years was inappropriate; Kerry flew into a rage. In June of 2015 his brother, Aarron, discovered that their father was in an illicit relationship with Spring Thomas. After Aaron confronted his father, and demanded to know what was going on, they think Kerry lied. It was only after fifteen minutes or more of Aarron pressing his dad that Kerry did admit he had been hiding his relationship. Aarron insisted that his brother, Abram, be called and also told of the secret relationship. The three men sat around Kerry’s dining room table and talked for hours. Both boys expressed complete disapproval. Not because they had an expectation that their father should have to spend the rest of his life alone; but rather because of the months that Kerry had been lying to them and hiding his relationship with Spring. Kerry went on and described what he called a “covenant relationship.” Since Aaron refused to leave until his father told what was going on with Spring, Kerry also confessed that he deliberately had Abram drive separately to Jefferson City all legislative session because he was preplanning time to sneak off to Spring’s house alone, didn’t want anyone to know, and in fact had been going to Spring’s house two or three times a week—alone—since at least January 2015. Both Aaron and Abram expressed their disapproval and extreme disappointment; as well as, told him they believed he was in sin. Even if Kerry was not currently involved in sexual sin with Spring, as he claimed, the nature of his long-term deception and lies would only take him further down a road of self-destruction, and deeper into sin.

Weeks later when Abram discovered that Kerry was still lying to him and hiding his secret trips to see Spring; Abram and Kerry had another confrontation. The next day Abram asked his dad to tell the truth and come clean; and urged Kerry (because of his sin of deception, and his personal compromise) to step down as President of Missouri Family Network. Abram explained, “I am not asking you to turn M.F.N. over to me; there are plenty of other people who could run the organization until this situation is resolved.” But Kerry insisted that he would turn Missouri Family Network over to his son Abram; as well as, turn Abram’s home over to him, so that as the investigation continued they would not end up homeless. Again, this was not the answer Abram was looking for and after waiting five months for his father to tell the truth or do any of the things that he claimed he was going to do—they had the third confrontation. The third meeting was when Abram was able to persuade his father to meet with their pastor; where he found out that not only was Kerry still lying, but Kerry admitted that he never intended to do any of the things he said…and he never would. Kerry also admitted to writing a fake suicide note that’s sole purpose was to manipulate people who disagreed with him…by threatening self harm; tactics which Abram says Kerry is still attempting to use. An unhealthy warning of Kerry’s attempt to get Abram back under his control, and to manipulate people was truly sinking in and causing concern.

Once Abram could get his head above the clouds and see clearly; he realized more and more how emotionally damaging his dad was to him.

Sometimes it takes being removed from a difficult relationship to recognize how harmful it is and to experience freedom from the control and manipulation.

According to Abram, as the investigation around Lynn’s disappearance continued, his dad again used finances to try to manipulate and control Abram and his family. Since financial incentives didn’t work, his dad took it all back. He unilaterally dissolved the legal partnership, and used creative accounting to claim that Abram owed him $5,000. Which is roughly equivalent to the 5% ownership of Missouri Family Network which Abram owned. In firing Abram, his dad also forced Abram, along with Elizabeth and their four children, Kerry’s grandchildren, out of the house Abram’s grandfather gave them twelve years ago.

Abram’s point for sharing some of this testimony is, “There’s a reason tough love is called tough love. It is not because I hate my dad and I’m out to get him. I love him. My deepest desire is for him to repent of his sin and follow the example of King David when the Prophet Nathan confronted him about his sin with Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 12. I have tried to follow biblical teachings for confronting my dad, but there are other issues. Churches have a moral and biblical responsibility to call sin, sin and protect the victims inside the church of Jesus Christ; however, churches aren’t willing to truly confront sin. If an individual refuses to repent, the church needs to be willing to cut ties and treat these types of people as unbelievers.”

Another reason for sharing is to put another perspective in front of hundreds of struggling families and retired individuals who struggle financially and still send money to M.F.N. Abram says, “They deserve to know that they are being fleeced—not the people who are so close that they can’t see the forest through the trees, but those who are sacrificially giving.”

Now I want to turn attention back to the, “Find Lynn Messer” Facebook page.

Another possible coincidence to narcissistic style is observing the Find Lynn Messer FB page and seeing how it is maintained to present a squeaky clean and pure persona—in spite of acknowledging to the media that he is physically involved with Spring. I have read comments from people who ask tough questions, make logical arguments, or state glaring issues they see in supposed stories of ideal love and heart wrenching loneliness. Unlike the encouraging, praise-filled, we are praying for you, comments that are enjoyed and appreciated; the opposite comments are quickly deleted so a watching world can’t see that there are people who question or take issue with the way, “Ma, the Bride” is talked about. And that is aside from the incredible amount of factual inaccuracies, and out right fabrications, according to family.

In a future post I will cover details about Abram’s argument with his mom; as well as, the note she wrote before disappearing.

Side note to a romantic, or potential romantic, interest: Has precedence has already been set? Many psychologists agree that if people with unhealthy ways of interacting don’t change by age 30 they will not change. “The 20th century Harvard psychologist William James said that after age 30, the personality has ‘set like plaster.’”¹ If they hid money from their spouse they will hide it from you. If they expected their spouse to cater to their every decision, command, and whim; they will expect it of you. If they gained a rise out of calling their spouse names, they will call you names—it’s just a matter of time. If they became bored with spouse #1 they will become bored with you too. If…they did the unthinkable to their spouse…well…they could do it to you. (Remember Drew and Stacy Peterson?) If a person will lie about their spouse and children to save their reputation; they will lie about you. People who recruit friends and romantic interests, eventually become tired and bored once they secure the relationship. What they are attracted to is your strength. What they hate after securing you in a relationship is your strength, and they will spend their energy verbally, emotionally and spiritually shredding your very being. You will likely feel like an empty shell of yourself; realizing your vibrant, bubbly, confident, capable, intelligent, energetic, outgoing, hospitable-self died; figuratively, and perhaps literally. Now would be the perfect time to pray, repent, and give God permission to insert His leadership into your life over this issue.

7/30/2016 Kerry Messer Not Cooperating; Family History

I reached out to the Messer brothers last weekend through social media and explained to them who I am, why I blog, what my background is, and that I wrote a blog post about their mom’s disappearance.

I told them if they wanted to share anything with my readers I would be honored to listen, and to be a voice for their mom. I assured them that I understood if they didn’t have the time, energy, or interest to schedule this in their lives right now.

They both kindly replied.

Today I will share a portion of Abram Messer’s reply, “I’ve been thinking about reaching out to you to not only thank you for your piece, but to see if you would be interested in talking to me. One of the many issues that I struggle with having grown up in a home where destructive ideology was normal is my desire to break, (I pray permanently) the sin cycle and demonstrate a Biblical example for my children to see. I would love to share more of our story with you. Thank you for following the prompting of the Holy Spirit to reach out to me.”

According to Abram Messer, and confirmed with the Ste Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office, Kerry Messer, is no longer cooperating with the investigation and hasn’t been for almost a year. And with this, I can tell you that Abram has been doing what no child, no matter what age, could ever imagine having to do. He has been assisting in an investigation that revolves around his dad, due to the disappearance of his mom.

During my conversation with Abram, he conveyed his appreciation and trust in the Ste Genevieve County Sheriff’s Office. He explained they have, and continue to do, a terrific job. He equally included the hours upon hours of interviews over the days, months and last two years they conducted with him. Abram mentioned how investigators stepped inside his head and pulled out information he wouldn’t have thought of on his own. He reflected that if the authorities need another 9 hour interview from his head he will give it every day. Abram has complete faith in their ability because they want to come to the truth. So if you have heard by word of mouth, or read in other news outlets, that the investigators aren’t doing their job it simply isn’t true.

*Disclaimer: There have been no arrests made in the disappearance of Lynn Messer. Kerry Messer remains innocent of any charges. I am not claiming anyone is mentally ill or guilty; but simply pointing out concerns.

I will walk you through a bit of Messer family history according to, Lynn and Kerry’s son, Abram. While talking to Abram, I could have literally finished some of his sentences for him because I understand what he lived through growing up and I understand some of the mind-set I hear and read about his father.

I’ve often wondered why people are easily hoodwinked by the possibility of dual personality individuals. I wonder if it’s from having a good heart that’s always looking for the best in people; because who goes around looking for evil. We tend to believe what we see. If we were at the theatre watching a play we would expect to see grand acting, but we don’t anticipate seeing it in the office, at church, at school, at the store, or standing in the driveway talking to a neighbor.

If you think it was easy for Abram to recall this history, I can tell you it wasn’t. There were a few times I thought our phone call had disconnected, but no, he

Photo Credit: J.B. Forbes, St. Louis Post Dispatch

was distraught and needed time to process what he wanted to say. He loves his mom. He loves his dad. He wants to help other families, other women, and other victimizers recognize abuse before it’s too late. He speculated that recent events have changed how he views his relationship with his wife and children. He believes human nature will do one of two things.

Repeat the Cycle

Go to the opposite extreme

We both agreed that there is a better option. Stop holding any person to a standard you want to achieve, or a low you want to avoid. Our standard is Jesus. If His heart, mind, way and will is what we chase after we will always be progressing in a good and healthy direction.

Survivors, and witnesses, share their stories because it could be the key that leads to freedom for other victims. Abram was clear on his objectives for speaking out about his family life and his mom’s disappearance. You can read, LYNN MESSER: 3 OBJECTIVES, below.

7/26/2016 3 Objectives

In English Comp we learn to write a compelling presentation in this order:

Tell them what you’re going to tell them.

Tell them.

Tell them what you told them.

First, I must tell you that I do not know anyone in the Messer family. I briefly met Kerry at a local St. Louis Homeschool Expo a few years ago while paying my Missouri Family Network contribution. The encounter lasted no more than thirty seconds. We, as a homeschool community, were periodically encouraged to give to Kerry for being our homeschool lobbyist in Jefferson City. Occasionally we were notified that the Messers were not bringing in enough money to meet their personal needs, or to function at Missouri Family Network, and we needed to send a check to them to help cover their expenses.

I wrote my first article about Lynn Messer last week. I heard about her disappearance two years ago and occasionally read the, “Find Lynn Messer” Facebook page. I’ve never been able to put her out of my heart and mind and contemplated publishing my notes and thoughts for two years. The time had come to share a different perspective of possibilities.

God is serious about me sharing lessons I’ve learned and He is serious about helping women trapped in abusive relationships. So I wasn’t surprised to find that God had a bigger plan than me for the Lynn Messer story.

*Disclaimer: I have no physical proof that Lynn Messer was in an abusive relationship or that her husband suffers from mental illness. This blog platform allows many abused women a chance to learn, perhaps for the first time, that God doesn’t expect or require them to stay in an abusive relationship. So…I’m throwing out possibilities based on coincidental circumstances…hoping to use this as an educational tool for the abused and the abuser.

I’m going to present to you stories, highlights and insights into the Messer family life through the eyes of an insider.

When you think of highlights, think of reading your high school or college history book; as you read you mark the important parts; hoping your memory will recall all the details that went with the highlighted portion. As you read the highlights of this testimony, know that there is more history to go with it, but you’re only allowed to read the highlights at this time.

Why? The priority at the moment is putting together evidence and finding closure for Lynn; and for her children and grand children.

My purpose for writing is to be a voice for the voiceless. I will at times add speculation on a few items, but I will tell you when it’s my opinion. This will be based on my background, and the testimony of other women who have lived through difficult marriages.

My objectives for writing are in line with the objectives for the interviewee:

To give insight and hope to women in abusive relationships.

To plead with victimizers to take a hard look in the mirror and in scripture at their sin, mental illness and/or abusive behaviors, and then repent, seek help and welcome healing.

To put compelling information in front of a possible abuser’s colleagues, friends, church family and supporters—presenting evidence of a probable fraudulent life. Because…some men live two lives under the name of one man.

I also want to reexamine the role of the church, family and of friends who know, or suspect, there is abuse going on in a home. Do we hold responsibility? How can we lovingly protect and help? When do we step in and when do we wait? Do we take the knowledge of abuse to the church leadership or do we call the authorities, domestic violence, and a professional counselor? Should abused women go to counseling with their abuser? Are therapeutic separations beneficial? Does God allow for divorce?

Before I proceed I suggest you open your heart and mind to, outside of the box, possibilities.

It seems a lifetime ago that I was struggling and sinking in a marriage full of difficulties. For nine years I believed my husband’s lies that all the problems in our marriage, and in his career, were my fault. One day, in total despair, I picked up the phone and called our ministry mentor and his wife. I poured out my heart and told about what had taken place in my marriage since shortly after I said, “I do.”

To my shock and relief I was told that they knew there were problems, but they hadn’t said anything to me because they didn’t know if I was aware of my husband’s unhealthy ways of interacting with people. This ministry mentor had a master’s degree in psychology and his brother-in-law was a doctor of psychology who specialized in narcissistic personality disorder. After working closely with my husband, our mentor, through the help of his brother-in-law, believed my husband was suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.

Let me say that a personality disorder had never entered my mind, but I went straight to the library and began researching it. NPD, in my unprofessional opinion, fit my husband’s personality completely. More research, doctor appointments, psychological tests and evaluations confirmed our mentor’s original thought.

I submit this to you because unless you live with a person you cannot truly know what they are like. Having a mentor who provides discipleship, accountability, and a close working relationship is a rare variable in finding marital problems and/or personality disorders.

Could an abused wife had known too much?

If you are living in a difficult relationship, with a person who seems to be in a different reality, maybe you should read up on personality disorders in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illness.

*Disclaimer #2. Many people live healthy, functioning lives while living with mental illness. Mental illness does not go hand-in-hand with being a criminal or causing harm to another person.

My next blog post will begin the testimony, but for now…

I’ll start you off with the criteria of two prevalent disorders that come to mind, that often involve abusive personalities, so you can understand that not all people think or behave alike.

(Click blue title above to read more about this disorder)

*Not to be confused with obsessive compulsive disorder—they are two different disorders.

A pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

Is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost

Shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met)

Is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity)

Is over conscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification)

Is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value

Is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things

Adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes

7/22/2016 New Article on Lynn Messer

Here is the latest article on the disappearance of Lynn Messer. It revolves around an interview with Lynn’s son, Abram, who explains that his father’s story of Lynn’s disappearance, “Is light years apart” from what he, Abram, and others know to be truth.

This article is available at the Daily Journal Online; an online community news outlet for small towns south of Metro St. Louis, Missouri.

7/19/2016 Lynn Messer Missing Person

Please understand, just because you know a couple doesn’t mean you know what goes on in their home. I know from experience.

To be clear; I do not know what went on in this family’s home.

A new article on the disappearance of Lynn Messer was published in the Sunday, St. Louis Post Dispatch. I will share my feelings and theories regarding this Christian, homeschool mom who has been missing for two years.

I have a different perspective than most of my friends, and homeschool community, on this subject.

Of course I’m coming from a background of living with a mentally disturbed man. A man who most people thought of as being godly, personable, funny, sincere, a dynamic speaker, a soul-winning preacher, a world traveling evangelist with a heart for hurting and needy children, a terrific communicator and writer. This was the side he wanted people to see. He lived his life on a stage; acting out the role he believed people wanted to see. Soaking in the accolades.

This is what I experienced living with this man. A dark, disturbed, dishonest, abusive, unfaithful, unbeknown to me: pedophile, controlling, woman hater who suffered from mental illness and a personality disorder. I never told people for years. Why? See: My Destructive Marriage. I left him when I believed it was probable that our daughter and I would not again wake up alive.

So what if I’m not the only woman who lived a life where no one would have ever guessed what my home life was like?

The letters I receive from readers tell me the problem is global. And I’m not talking about wide-spread in the secular, non-Christian arena. I’m telling you there are untold numbers of Christian women; including pastor’s wives and missionaries’ wives living in difficult, abusive marriages.

Because I read extensively on the subject of spousal abuse I can share that statistics report women who disappear under questionable circumstances are usually found dead; usually at the hands of their significant other and at the least, because of their significant other.

So when a local woman went missing two years ago my radar lit up. Of course the Christian community rallied around the man because they believed this wonderful man would never have a role in his wife’s disappearance. I hope they are correct. Their hearts went out to him when he was being questioned about his wife’s disappearance. Friends thought time was wasting and should be spent trying to find his beloved, “bride,” as he refers to her in his Facebook posts. He also refers to her as, “Ma.”

The husband’s writings reminded me too much of my former husband. Not fair, I’m sure, but I’m being honest about my gut feelings. The posts he wrote about his bride on Facebook were like reading ponderings, convincing arguments, and outright lies that my former husband would have written about me; to make people believe and understand how much he loved me, needed me, and could never go on without me. Non-truths; in the case of my former husband. I don’t know Lynn’s husband; I’m just saying there are oddities in this case.

I have prayed numerous times for this missing woman. I questioned if she was dead after reading the first few Facebook posts written about her.

Shortly after Lynn’s disappearance I received a financial support letter in the mail asking for local Christian, homeschooling families to send financial gifts to help the man, as a state lobbyist for the homeschooling community, during his time of difficulty. I tossed the letter in the trash and told my husband, “I’m not helping a man who I suspect holds guilt in the disappearance of his wife.”

I’m basing opinions off my background of studying a specific personality disorder. You see, people with narcissistic personality disorder, or tendencies toward it, have the same order of operations. What I read on Facebook reminded me of narcissistic supply. Local friends and fellow Christians could have unknowingly been giving narcissistic supply. People were providing love, financial gifts, meals, written encouragement, man-hours searching the 250 acre property for the wife, praise for the man’s character and marital devotion, prayers, and help around the farm. Maybe the support was correctly administered. I don’t know.

I’m not saying the man has been diagnosed with a personality disorder; I’m stating parallels I saw, which concerned me.

I figured that no one knew the hundreds of acres as well as him and, if a possibility existed that he was involved, he would know where the body was located.

Many women report living with abusive husbands. The following are a handful of ways some of the more subtle abuse happens: The man keeps her living like she’s dirt poor while he enjoys a higher social standing. She eats simple and cheap meals while he eats the finest of food. She wears the same old clothes for years or decades while he wears new clothes. He travels and goes on expensive trips while she stays home to keep the house. He enjoys friendships with other women away from the home while she is expected not to talk to men without her husband present.

I hear from women who live in defeat and depression while believing the lies their husbands tell them. Lies such as all his problems are her fault, she isn’t talented enough, doesn’t make enough money, isn’t pretty, is boring, isn’t a good mother, isn’t a good wife, should me more like a woman the husband holds in high esteem. So many women in these relationships live in despair. Many counselors don’t get it. The man seems so put-together at counseling sessions and many Christian counselors will not reprimand a man in the presence of the wife. Read more about problems with the false sense of male entitlement here. These women can end up suicidal when they fail to find understanding or help.

Couple with this a wife reconciling in her heart and mind a public man who boldly teaches the word of God and prays, with the private man who secretly treats his wife in the home with ridicule, resentment, the silent treatment, physical, emotional, psychological, and/or sexual abuse due to his addiction to pornography. This may leave a woman unable to grasp reality because she has been fed a constant stream of lies.

These women can’t give enough praise to make their man feel as special as he deems himself. The man in return doesn’t have kind works of affirmation or appreciation for who she is, nor does he recognize anything of value she provides. See: To Live But Not Exist.

These women may feel like they are crazy, will never be able to please their man, are only making life worse, and would be better off dead.

If this was Lynn’s life I wish I could have talked to her. I would have embraced her, cried with her, prayed over her and told her, “It’s not your fault. Don’t believe it. You’re beautiful, capable, talented, sweet, fun, caring and needed. You are lovable.”

I wonder what their kids know and think; opinions, facts or questions that haven’t made it to the media. They are grown adults and I can’t imagine how they have endured through these two years. They are who my heart goes out to; and the grandchildren.

My prayer is for closure to come to those who loved and valued, Ma.

As someone who had to learn to look for the thread of truth woven in a story or statement there were a few comments made on the Find Lynn Messer Facebook page, early in the investigation, that made me pause and wonder. These statements stood out to me and didn’t leave my memory. Maybe I have an over active imagination but I truly had to learn to read my ex-husband in this way to attempt to keep my daughter safe.

Located in a July 12, 2014, Facebook post: “In closing: For those of you who know Lynn best – you understand when I say that she is the strongest work horse on our farm. And, for those of you who know me best – you understand from Luke 14:5 that I only paraphrase Jesus’ figurative teaching, when I say that the only reason I am not with you in worship this morning is because ‘my ox is in a ditch.'” I wondered if she was literally in a ditch or hole somewhere on the property! Where were the animals placed when they died?

Located in a July 12, 2015, Facebook post: “…to be honest, I am torn between two opposites. First is that I have to admit not being able to focus due to so many stresses, and the conviction to be transparent about it when I don’t want to be.” About what did he not want to be truthfully transparent; despite the conviction that he should be transparent?

Located in a July 12, 2015, Facebook post: “I am at a loss as to how to interact with our family members and even my own grandchildren.” Was there a sense of guilt keeping him from fully engaging and bonding with his precious family?

You may think this is sensationalism…but women who have survived abusive men know this is all in the realm of possibility. I pray the parallels are simply coincidental.

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Carolyn Green Deevers Writer, wife, imperfect home schooling mom to 3 amazing humans. Writing about lessons learned from surviving 100% of my worst days. Educating the church about domestic violence & abuse in their midst. Advocating for abused women living in, or leaving destructive marriages. Living an A.I.P. life. St. Louis Cardinals fanatic! Football fan.

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4 thoughts on “Lynn Messer case history”

I want to thank you for your diligence in keeping this story in front of the public. It’s not only important for the Messer family that justice be done here, but for victims of domestic violence and other crimes, that their cases or any other don’t just fade away into nothingness. There are obvious political influences at play here, on so many levels, that could easily derail justice. Bright sunlight is the best disinfectant for corruption. Let’s hope corruption isn’t a factor in impeding a swift resolution to this case.

Thanks for commenting. I’m pleased to do this for Lynn, and for her family and friends. I would want someone to do the same if it were me who disappeared and was found deceased. I think this case, as in many cases, prove that time is on law enforcement’s side.

The more I read on this case the more evidence is given that he has NPD and with that fact he has most likely projected the truth of what really happened on to someone they just don’t know what that he has revealed the truth because they don’t know what NPD individuals do