You've got $75,000 burning a hole in your sweatpants, and we've got your ride to this year's Tapout convention. It's an adult-scale version of the 1970s-era Green Machine ride-on toy, powered by an 80ci Harley-Davidson engine.

Similar to the $55,000 Tron Light Cycle, the nine-foot-long, front-wheel-drive trike has the same proportions as the original Green Machine, with the same color scheme and a chain-driven front wheel that's 45" in diameter. Like the original, it's steered by two push/pull levers that control the two rear wheels. With 60 hp, it can get up to 50 mph, by way of a six-speed transmission controlled by a foot lever.

You can get it at the world's bougiest store, Hammacher Schlemmer. Order by November 15 for Christmas delivery.

See, just because we said "adult toy" doesn't mean it's that kind of adult toy.