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Saturday, 30 January 2016

promises promises

The title for this post is a line from some 80's band, likely from England, probably wore gel in their blond hair... can't remember the name, don't feel like googling it, so 50 pretend points for anyone who can name the band.

The idea behind this post is from my own situation of breaking promises. Who have I ticked off by breaking multiple promises? That would be me.

For the past year (maybe two) I have been promising myself that this is the day that I start working out and sticking with it. I have promised myself that this is the day that I eat clean, 5 small meals a day, protein and complex carbs at every meal. I have promised myself that I would walk on the treadmill every day. I have promised myself that I will not eat after supper. I have promised myself that THIS would be the year that everything changes. And so on. I make these promises in writing. I have kept a journal (actual pen and paper) for many, many years. That's where I let it all hang out. That's where private thoughts and family dramas and tears and laughter and hopes and dreams get recorded. That's where I make promises to myself, only to break them over and over again.

I am very open about my age. I am 49, and will turn 50 this July. But lately I have felt 79, turning 80. I truly feel part of this is due to crazy, declining hormones... enough said. However, I have become more sedentary, many days being completely spent after working all day and making supper, with no energy to do anything short of sitting in front of the tv and sometimes realizing I have fallen asleep for a few minutes. My joints hurt. When I get up in the morning, I move slowly and heavily, waiting for my body to get the kinks out and stop protesting. I can only sleep on my sides due to an aching lower back, but then my hips scream out half way through the night, only to be relieved by a pillow between my knees. Due to my evening sedentary lifestyle and my less than stellar eating habits over the past couple of years, my weight has slowly crept upward. I am not comfortable in my body anymore and I've had to abandon some clothing. And even with all of this discomfort and change, I have broken my promises.

Recently, the universe pushed me to try yoga. Once upon a time, I owned an Ali McGraw yoga tape. I did portions of it a few times and didn't really like it. When my husband and I were really into eating well and working out, we bought P90X, an intense form of torture on multiple DVDs with one DVD being yoga. Ninety minutes of yoga. I hated it. Instead of giving me a sense of calm, it made me angry. Lately, colleagues have told me about a woman who teaches yoga out of her home, quite close to where I live. Friends told me that they have started going to yoga at a school close to their home and love it. And with every mention of yoga, I softened to the idea more and more. So I went. Husband went too. It was held in a spacious room above a two car garage in which the instructor's husband also teaches martial arts on other evenings. It was comfortable with lots of wood. She was very personable, accepting, and explained everything very well. The first visit is free, so you can decide if you want to do this or not. The only complaint I had (apart from my body's abilities) was the heavy scent of incense. I cannot tolerate anything scented anymore and could feel my throat getting sore and scratchy by the end of the hour. After explaining this to the instructor, she reassured me that she does not have to use incense and if she knows I am coming, she will not use it .

I think I would like to continue going, but I'm not making any promises.

What about you, have you broken any promises to yourself over the years?

16 comments:

Jenn- It is funny- I NEVER break promises (or try diligently not to) to someone else. If I promise them something I will do everything I can to do whatever it is that I said I would do. HOWEVER, I am an expert at breaking promises to myself. I think my biggest one is the commitment to not eat sugar. Sugar to me is like crack to an addict. Right now I am several days sugar free. It not only frees me from the sugar buzz/hangover but it frees me from inertia and feeling bad about myself. I have never tried yoga. It has just never appealed to me. I used to walk a lot but don't do nearly enough of that either. Good luck- hope you make a promise that you can keep---or not feel guilty if it is something that just doesn't work for you.Hope you have a wonderful weekend- xo Diana

wow, good for you Diana. With so much going on in your life right now, for you to take on getting off of sugar is pretty noble! I'm very bad when it comes to consuming too much sugar, don't know if I could give it up completely. I'm keeping up with your blog and hope everything is going well for you and your hero!! -Jenn

Not a broken promise; just a reassurance. I am xx years older than you, and not especially open about how many, but I have already been where you are. During that time, I discovered that in Japan the major complaint is not hot flashes, but joint pain. I think our doctors are just not aware how common it is. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will pass.

I have actually done some research and I do think the joint pain is related to hormones (or lack of them). There is a whole list of symptoms (do you call them symptoms??) Thanks for the reassurance that this too shall pass. -Jenn

I have found myself saying over and over that I'll start eating better "after this bag of Hershey kisses is finished". Seriously! I have become more sedentary lately too, after back surgery last winter, my weight has also been creeping upward, and I'm only a year behind you. Why is it so hard to keep promises to ourselves? Good luck with the Yoga!!

Oh my!! I have used that rationalization over and over. I'll just eat all the junk in the house so there is nothing left to tempt me! I think back surgery is a good reason to take it easy for a while! -Jenn

HAH! Join the Hormonal madness club, Jenn. Just wait till you reach your 60's! I feel your pain, indeed I do. I've been pretty consistent about piling on the pounds over the last 10 years. But when I do get serious I'm pretty good about sticking the healthful eating.. I CAN do it,but the older you get, the slower the weight comes off. This year, I have sworn I will not give up if it takes me 2 years to lose the excess baggage, I will do it. And exercise? Hate it! Exercise is so much easier when you get it from gardening, isn't it? So, you are not alone in your quest....just get reallllly stubborn and pick at least ONE thing you can stay with. It's a start.

About Me

I started blogging because I started reading people's blogs and really enjoyed them. I have always been a writer. I've kept a journal since I was a teenager (which was quite some time ago!), I wrote stories as a child, and I think things through by writing them down and getting them out of my brain. At the moment I blog about my life without getting too personal. I get a little thrill when someone leaves a comment, so I try to comment on other people's blogs as well. So... go ahead... make my day.

About Me

I am a wife and mother of a twenty-one year-old and a seventeen-year-old living in rural Ontario, Canada. Join me in my journey through gardening, motherhood, living in a century-plus home, surviving husband projects (give me strength), and working full time. I love reading, nature, laughing, small furry animals, and a good cup of coffee on the porch (or perhaps a glass of red wine depending on the day!).