To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Morning sickness. The constant feeling of nausea and tiredness throughout the day, while you still must carry on your normal duties.

Do you know what sucks even more than that? Morning sickness mixed with a stomach virus. Oh yeah. The constant feeling of nausea and tiredness throughout the day, PLUS the constant churning in your stomach and pain that comes from the fact that you can't eat and your body has puked out everything you may have eaten in the last week. Welcome to my day today!

So enough of that...Taryn has her nine month check-up tomorrow. Usually, I would be excited, b/c her doctor is so peppy, and says things like, "PERFECT!" when I tell her about Taryn and what she's doing. I just know she would use those words tomorrow when I told her all about Taryn's newest feats. However, she has a very limited schedule lately, and I was forced to see another doctor instead. I'm sure this dr. will be fine, but I just want to hear 'perfect' words. Like, how could you not say stuff like that about my littlest one...or my biggest one, for that matter?

Speaking of the littlest one a bit more, have I mentioned that she is the MESSIEST eater on the face of the earth? She must touch and squish EVERYTHING that goes into her mouth before she will even think about swallowing it. That includes stuff like yogurt and soup. It is very unnerving, and it takes about half an hour to clean up after she's done eating, even just a snack! I find myself giving her the cleanest foods I can find, which I'm sure isn't great for her health, since those usually include french fries and chicken nuggets. Hey, hey, don't worry! I still make sure she eats plenty of vegetables everyday, and gets other meats, too. I just don't like when she does eat other stuff! I've found that bringing the dog in after she eats saves me a lot of trouble, b/c he'll eat all of her leftovers off of the floor for me. He does a great job, too. I swear his spit makes the wood floors shine! I took a pic the other day just to show you what I'm up against. Notice, JD, on the left, is a slower eater, but very clean about it. MJ, on the right, is just learning to eat with a spoon, but doing a bangup job and keeping it right there on the spoon. Then there's Taryn in the middle. Yep, shoveling and squishing whatever she can into her mouth as fast as she can. Also notice that the two outer cheerin' have bibs on to minimize mess to their clothes. Not Taryn, she immediately rips off any bib I put on her, so I am forced to just take her clothes off whenever she eats! Ahhh, I can't wait to give her a hard time about this later in life when she's easy to embarrass!

Alright, that's enough for today. Hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!

I went to a wedding of a friend yesterday. It was actually her second, and this one seemed much more of a fit than the first one. For that matter, she didn't even give this guy an ultimatum to marry her. Let's all hope that means they'll be together for a while...

So I was on my way to this wedding, and I was thinking. I realized that this year, Trey and I will have been married for five years on our anniversary. Sure, that's not a huge deal for most of you out there, but it is for me. The average length of marriages these days is four years, so I'm happy that we've already surpassed that. Before Trey, though, I never even dated anyone more than 8 or 9 months, and that was just one boy. So five years married, and seven years together is a pretty big deal if you ask me. I'm trying to think of what we could do to celebrate. We usually try to go to the mountains for the weekend, b/c we both love the mtns., and that's the time of year the leaves change (We got married October 13th, 2001). I wouldn't mind doing that again, but I feel like we should do something on a more grand scale. You know, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure we didn't get to go last year, and the year before that was when I found out I was prego w/Taryn. I thought my stomach hurt b/c I had eaten some calamari for breakfast that I'd gotten the night before and hadn't refrigerated (yeah, ummm, gross!). Of course, that may not have hurt the situation...Oh, but I digress....

Anyway, I want to do something special. I thought about having a party, but it seems a little lame to have an anniversary party for yourselves. Plus, I'm not sure I have enough friends to make a party worth having. It might look kinda sad to have all of three people show up to celebrate! I can't think of what else to do, though. The biggest problem, of course, is the whole money thing. Plus, I'll be near popping prego by then. Any ideas?

It also occurred to me that we have reached halfway to ten years together. At the wedding yesterday, I got all gooey inside and decided I want to get married again...to Trey, of course. I went to a wedding in Jan. and didn't feel that way, so I'm guessing it has something to do w/the whole pregnancy hormone thing. I'm thinking, though, that maybe when ten years comes around (which gives me PLENTY of time to think!), we can have a wedding again, and get remarried to each other. By then our kids will be 8, 6, and 4 or so (Can you believe that! That's so scary!), I think, and they can be in it or something. I was thinking that since it will be in October, we can do an Oktoberfest theme or something (I'm big on themes, our original wedding was a Halloween theme). Then, we can have our anniversary again in Disney World like we did before, but this time take our kids. That would be so great! I'm about to die already to take my kids to Disney, but it would be such a waste till they're old enough for it, and that would be right about the right time, I think. Wouldn't that be so much fun!? Plus, by then, hopefully, we'll even be able to afford a decent wedding!

So anyway, that's my prego hormones kicking in and dreaming. I only have a million things that need to be done today to think about, and instead I dream of weddings five years from now and parties in the future. Figures...I hope you had a great weekend, and I'll talk to you later!

So, Saturday, I learned all about being careful what you ask for. Since Taryn was born, I've been quite set on the idea of having three, that two just seems so...even. I figured when she was around two or so, I'd get Trey to knock me up again, and we'd have a happy little fivesome in the house. Of course, I never specified out loud when this plan was to take place, just that I was going to have three, and that was that. Trey only wants two, but I guess he'll have to just change that dream...

I've been sick to my stomach and very tired for the last week or two. I was thinking it was withdrawal from caffiene and my anti-depressant, b/c I haven't been feeling like drinking coffee lately. Consequently, I take my pill with my morning coffee, and when I didn't drink my coffee, I would forget to take my pill. So I wasn't expecting anything when I, jokingly, went in the bathroom Saturday night to play with the pregnancy test I had in there from a while back (and no, it was far from expired--I've actually gotten it since Taryn was born). I was lying on the couch watching tv after the kids went to bed (which I should have just cherished and kept doing, b/c I saw no more tv that night after that!), and started thinking about how I got sick around the same time every evening, just like when I was pregnant. So I ran to the bathroom to have some fun. Yeah, except it wasn't quite as fun or funny as I had envisioned it. At first there was just the one pink line, and I was like, "Yep, just what I expected." Then I glanced back, and there, within millimeters of the other pink line, sat a thin, light pink line, creeping in ever so slowly. At first, it was so faint that I thought surely it just showed up b/c the test had gotten wet. Then it got darker and darker, till it was almost as dark as the other line. It was about that moment that it hit me what was happening, and I immediately began to shake and feel the need to puke rise up in my throat. I'm not a puker by nature (unless I'm piss-ass drunk), but I have no problem dry-heaving, which I did. This was surely not a planned thing, and something I was not ready to see on that little cheap-ass test.

So, since I couldn't reach Trey at work, Julia was so kind as to talk to me for a while and help me calm down. Once he called me back, he said, "Hmmm, okay, hmmm..." That's about it.

Of course now, I spend my mental time trying to think of names. I'm determined that if it's a boy, he will be Braxton, and if a girl I'm thinking perhaps Bella. I like that name. I'm thinking Bella Jaymeson, and I have no idea what for a middle name for a boy. What do you think? I have no due date yet, and I guess technically I'm not 100% sure I'm pregnant. I can't think of anything else that would produce such results on a pregnancy test, but hey, who knows.

Anyway, just wanted to share the news. I've never been one to wait till it's safe, so there's no telling if I'll come back at some point with bad news. Only time will tell, and God knows what's best, so....

The smile that crosses her face when he walks into the room. If you're holding her, her little feet start kicking like crazy, and it's all you can do to keep her from jumping right out of your arms. It's so cute! She loves to snuggle with him and take naps in the mornings. She also loves to play hard with him (as Mommy won't have anything to do with that aspect of play!), and get down and dirty.

Speaking of dirty, this little girl is a big ol' messy girl! She is the complete opposite of her brother in so many ways. We've been going outside a lot lately now that the weather is so nice, and the gross differences in just the way they play are even so noticeable. When TJ was little even, when he would fall and get his hands dirty, he would run to me to get me to wipe them off. Still does, and freaks out if he gets dirty. He must get his clothes changed if there's anything that won't wipe off. Not Taryn, though. She could be covered from head to toe in mud, and as long as she could still walk, she'd be fine. When she falls down and gets dirt on her hands, typically she just puts them in her mouth and carries on with whatever she was doing (which is usually picking up more dirt!). We have a patch of dirt in our yard where grass won't grow b/c it's too shady there, and try as I might to keep Taryn in the grassy part, she insists on going right to the dirt and digging in! I HATE dirt and getting messy. Trey doesn't seem to mind. I guess she gets that from him.Take note of the dirt on her lower leg and mouth, and the absolute filth all over her! Oh, and the wild hair, too! Can't keep it brushed for more than two seconds!

She also loves the dog. It's funny, b/c he finds her hands to be perfect chew toys, but that doesn't seem to phase her. Everytime she sees him she makes a B-line right to him with a big smile on her face. Then, of course, she falls on him, and he tries desperately to get away from her before she steps on him again, but...TJ will play with him, but he freaks out b/c the dog tries to bite his butt when he chases him (I'm guessing so he can catch him?). So he spends the entire time yelling at him and crying. TJ has always been a cat person like his mommy, though. Undoubtedly, Taryn is a dog person like her daddy.

She even eats differently. TJ is somewhat messy now b/c he's three, and he still hasn't totally mastered the art of eating alone yet, but overall he's a pretty clean eater and always has been. When he does get dirty, he begs for a napkin or runs straight to the bathroom to wash his hands. He never minded me cleaning his hands off when he was little, either. Taryn, on the other hand, shoves everything she can into her mouth, and what falls, well, is gone. She smears her food in her hair, and hits the spoon when I try to feed her baby food. She prefers to put the food in her mouth by herself. Even the cleanest of finger foods she manages to turn into total filth before she's done eating. She freaks out when I wipe her off, and I have to hold her head still to wipe her face off while she screams. I'll admit, Trey doesn't exactly shove food into his mouth, but he is a pretty messy eater. He manages to drop food everywhere when he eats. I don't like to waste food, myself, and I make sure it all goes right to my mouth when it leaves the plate (maybe I could stand to drop a few bites, eh?). She is so her father's daughter!

She's even like him with shoes. She does everything in her power to take her shoes off as soon as I put them on. I will blink, and she will already have one shoe off within seconds of me getting them on! TJ always has to wear shoes, and he doesn't like to get his feet dirty. I think Trey wears shoes b/c I make him. I've seen him go out plenty of times w/o them on, and I'm sure he would go w/o if given the choice. I can see already that as soon as she's able, she'll be stripping herself everytime I put clothes on her. TJ, of course, won't even try to learn how to take off or put his clothes on yet.

They are opposites in so many more ways, too. I've decided that I will be enrolling TJ in drama and craft classes, while I enroll Taryn in football and wrestling. He will whine and be nerdy, and she will tell him to shut up and make fun of him. It's going to be so interesting to see her when she grows up, and see how different the two of them are. This girl has NO fear when it comes to anything. When you tell TJ to try something new, he says, "I can't." When Taryn faces something new, she screams at it to scare it before she jumps in head first. I hope I'm wrong, of course. I want TJ to 'man up', and I'm really not that into the idea of Taryn doing wrestling (she could end up in some compromising positions with teenage boys!). However, it does give me hope that she won't be a total little princess and all girly, which I totally fear. She may just be the little tomboy I always dreamed of, but smarter than your average man, of course! Only time will tell...She is so definitely her Daddy's girl, though, no doubt of that!

I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!Didn't want to leave TJ out! Here he is on his new big-boy swing! Of course, when I try to show him how to swing himself w/o being pushed, his classic answer, "I can't!"

I had a rough day today. By rough, I mean ROUGH! Let me tell you how it went:

Taryn, my perfect little lady, woke up at 8 am. This, after I went to bed early last night, then found out that Trey was in the process of doing my paper route w/o even being asked (when I woke up to do it myself and found him not in the bed beside me)! I must have gotten at least 9 hours of sleep or more last night! Geesh! When Taryn got up, we played and had a good time together for a bit. Then TJ got up around 8:30-8:45 or so, and we hugged and snuggled for a while, too.

We hung out for a while, while I got some laundry (much needed) done and we watched some telly. I even watched Grey's Anatomy from last night. I'm not a fan of where they're taking the plot, but I will keep hope alive for now. TJ was mostly cooperative. Around noon, I woke Trey up (I let him sleep in b/c he hadn't slept since noon Sunday when he went to bed at 7 am this morning). I dozed as he took a shower and got ready to go, and then we were off.

First, we went to Toys R Us. This was where the day got really, really rough. Here's the deal: I had a voucher from Fisher Price that expires soon, and I had to spend it. It was for $150, and had to be spent in its entirety at one time. So, we were forced to spend $150 on toys. I know, rough stuff. It was, though. It actually was pretty stressful. I decided it was only fair to split it right down the middle, and I was sticking to buying only for my kids (and not getting gifts and the like, b/c I worked to earn it for them). The hardest part was that it had to be a Mattel item, which limited it to Fisher Price, Barbie, Hot Wheels, Matchbox, and Tyco toys. Trey and TJ had a fine time in the car section, and the hardest part was just figuring out which set to buy that they could make a mess with! Taryn was not so easy. I really wanted to get learning toys, but honestly, I don't care much for the choices Fisher Price has for Taryn's age. I thought perhaps I could get her (and TJ) some toys for later, and just put them away, but honestly, I know me better! So we were there for a LONG time trying to find stuff I could tolerate. Oh, and get this, Fisher Price was having a special where you got a free $10 toy if you bought over $25 worth of stuff! So we actually got $160 worth of toys! Yippee!

So here's the breakdown of what we got, if you'd like to know:for TJ-Matchbox town set-up complete with cars, ramps and city buildings with buttons (buttons are very important!)Extra rampsDoctor kit (free) Travel DoodleProTravel car city (for going to restaurants, it folds up really small)Bubble mowerA Dora cartridge for his Learn Through Music

Yeah, I think in the end TJ got about $20 of Taryn's buckaroos, but I think she'd have happily given them up just to finally get out of the store! We were there FOREVER!

After the long day shopping, we were all very fatigued and famished, and all those f-words that mean STARVING. Of course, nothing else would help us to maintain our large bellies better than greasy hamburgers and fries, so McDonald's it was. TJ and Taryn crawled through the dirty outside tubes, whilst Trey and I had a value-menued, romantic lunch together. Awww....

My goal, however, for leaving the house today had still not been met. I wanted to get TJ and Taryn a sprinkler (we saw one on a walk yesterday, and TJ wanted to run in it). Unfortunately, if Fisher Price or Mattel make one, we could not find it at Toys R Us, so we hit up Wal-Mart. We got a really cool one that sprays everywhere, and it was super cheap! We picked up a few other necessities while there, then were on our way again.

We quickly ran by Lowes to get some links for TJ's swing I've been wanting forever, and were on our way home. Once there, Trey went right to work putting out the sprinkler and fixing the swing. By then it was a bit chilly, as the evening was on its way, but hey, you gotta test out the sprinkler no matter what, right! TJ and Trey got soaked, I, ummm, had to hold Taryn, yeah. Blue is a puss who had to be held to go through. I got out TJ's new bubble mower while Trey finished up the swing, and we all took a swing on it (we got the super-strength one so we could swing on it, too--I'm so excited!). Taryn managed to put as much dirt on her body as she could, and what she didn't get stuck on, she just shoved into her mouth.

Now, don't you agree that was a really rough day? I mean, we spent the whole day together as a family. No fighting, no arguing, all happy (well, except for a few of TJ's tantrums...), probably nookie later. I declare. Anymore of this and my head might explode!

Sadly, tomorrow it's back to the grindstone. I will always hold this day in my heart and memory as a day of love and fun, and will think fondly of my family members throughout my days. Well, I will at least until I get all pissed off and would rather cuss everyone out instead!

Oh, and Taryn waves "Hi" and "Bye" now. She thinks it's a hoot!

I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!

***Yes, every toy but one has been opened now. You knew we wouldn't wait a night, right!

Today I was on the phone talking to my mom about Trey's job prospects. Yes, he's on the eternal search for happiness in his job, and he's open to any suggestions. So anyway, we were talking about all kinds of fun stuff, and TJ asked to talk to my mom, or maybe I asked him if he wanted to. I don't remember. Anyway, he said yes. So I gave him the phone. He made silly noises to annoy her, b/c he knows it pushes her buttons, and that's what he's best at. Then he walked into the living room with the phone. I wasn't paying attention, b/c I was looking up stuff on the internet in the kitchen...A few minutes passed, and I heard him talking to someone and asking them if they were still there. I said, "TJ, who are you talking to?" Right about that same moment I remembered that my mom was on the phone still! I asked to talk to her again, and I was told, "NO! She's still in the box!" ????? He brought the phone into the kitchen and gave it to me. Well, I had to grab it out of a stacking toy box that he had it in! She said he'd put the phone in the box, and then every minute or so he would take it out and ask her if she was still there! She would ask to talk to me, and he'd tell her she had to go back in the box! HA HA HA! Was that just funny to me, or do you all think it's totally hilarious? Needless to say, she wasn't too thrilled....Taryn's full-on walking now, if you count falling every ten steps or so when she's not going full-speed. She has been for almost a week now. It's TOO CUTE! She holds her little hands out to the side in the air to balance, and her fat little legs look like a little cowboy doing the strut down the middle of the road to a shoot-out. Well, maybe a cowboy that has to concentrate very hard on making his feet go forward! Yesterday I took her to the doctor, and during our two hour wait in the waiting room, she ran rampant around the room. She got tons of practice! I'm so scared now!

Yeah, so yeah, it's been a week, eh? So sorry. Guess what I'm going to say...Yep, been busy.

So I went to this training last week for a volunteer thing I'm going to do for church. It looks like it's going to be lots of fun. I'll be running a support group for elementary aged children to try to keep them from using drugs and alcohol (hopefully later in life!). I'll be teaching them about self-esteem and the like with faith-based activities. It's something that started in Texas, Dallas I think, and has been really successful out there. I'm really looking forward to it. I hope I do well. I'm even going to try to get the older kids version and get them to use it at DJJ with the juveniles out there. I think it could really help some of them. Wouldn't that be fun!

So, while we were there, I came to a strange realization. We were talking about kids and how they start doing stuff that's bad for them b/c they think other kids are doing it. The training lady was telling us about a survey done on middle school kids that said that really high numbers would think that other kids were having sex, or doing drugs or whatever. However, when they could anonymously say whether or not they were having sex or doing drugs or whatnot, very low numbers actually were. Therefore, they perceived that the cool thing was to do drugs and have sex, when actually no one was even doing it!

This all made me think about myself in middle school and high school. I think middle school was about when I learned was sex was. I was 12, and we had to take sex ed. I learned the technical stuff, and a little about people doing it. At the time, though, the thought of actually doing something like that was VERY far from my mind. I certainly didn't think other kids were doing it! For that matter, I'm not even sure I knew what drugs were in middle school! I knew what alcohol was, but that's b/c my dad is an alcoholic, so you know, I kinda had no choice there!

Anyway, I kept thinking, and until sometime around my Junior year in school (my last year of high school), I didn't think kids were doing drugs, either. I didn't think kids really drank until about my Sophomore year, and that's only b/c we tried it once for fun. I just always figured that was a thing for adults, and that one day when I was 21 I would drink if I wanted to. Now, admittedly, once the end of my Junior year came along, I jumped on that bandwagon (although just barely...I wasn't all into the whole drinking/drug scene like most of my friends were) and did my share of the bad stuff. I quickly learned it wasn't for me, though. How on earth, though, did I manage to make it so long before I realized that the stuff was even out there and that kids were doing it? I mean, why didn't I think other kids were doing that stuff in middle school like all the other kids?

I know a little bit about why now, and why I decided I wasn't meant to be a druggy/alcoholic. Our trainer told us that every year you can keep a kid from trying that stuff is that much closer to them not becoming abusers or not using it at all. She said, as well, that the longer you can hold them off, the more brain cells you can save. Amen to that, brotha! I thought about my brother and myself. He started smoking around 12 or so, I think, experimenting in his room and lying to Mommy and Daddy. (I'll never forget Daddy coming into his room, having just finished a cigarette, and telling him not to smoke!) I know around 13 or so he started messing with pot, and he got drunk during that same year when out with my friends (at which point I did not!). It was all downhill from there, and to my knowledge, he hasn't really stopped too much yet. I think he mostly just drinks now, but it's still a really, really bad habit! I, on the other hand, had one night of drinking two Zimas when I was 15. I was trashed, sad eh? I may have had a drink or two after that, but it wasn't until I was 16, almost 17, and started taking Robitussin with my brother and friends that I actually started doing anything bad. I did that for a short time and decided it sucked. Later, when I hit college, well, you know how that went. I mean, come on, I had no choice! I'd just moved out on my own, and I HAD to drink to ummm, yeah, I have no idea why! Still, it didn't last, and thankfully I can say that I drink now on occasion, but have never been and never will be an abuser of any substance (besides coffee), despite the very, very, very addictive personality that I inherited from both sides of my family.

Neat, huh? I'm so stoked about hopefully helping lots of little people to stay off that crap. The age range for the program I learned to facilitate is 4-12. Yep, that's right, 4 years old! So, just like the commercials say, it's never too early to start talking to your kids about this stuff. I can't wait till TJ is 4, b/c I'm gonna get him in it right away.

Speaking of TJ and possible alcohol/drug abuse, I was thinking about that last night. A friend/coworker of Trey's died the other day in a drunk driving accident (his fault), and it made me get to thinking. I starting imagining what his mom must feel right now. He was only 24 or 25, and his life was really just beginning. I couldn't imagine losing my son at such a young age, and especially in such a horrible way. I thought about what it might feel like if that were TJ, and it almost killed me just to think about 22 years from now and that happening! I swear, I love my children to death, but having them is about the scariest thing in the whole wide world to me. I don't live in fear of them getting hurt, but things like this really make me think about what could happen to my own. There's only so much you can do to protect them, and sometimes the world just takes over on its own. It's so scary.

Okay, I suppose I've gone on enough about the worries of life, eh. I hope you are having a great day, and I'll see you soon!

TJ at the playground waterfall today. Trey took a wonderful pic, don't you think!

Ahhh, I remember how to get people to read your blog now. Just say something the teensiest bit controversial. Well, at least it makes me feel good to know that there are still a few people out there reading my blog! Of course, I'm not sure everyone read it the way I wanted it to be read, but hey, they read, right? I'm still really curious about regional pride, though. Perhaps I'll take an anthropology class at a local college about it or something...I remember in my anth. class at CofC (it was a required elective--ick!), the only thing that interested me one single bit was the one class we had that they talked about dialects. Oh man, I could go on for days about that stuff! I LOVE dialects! Of course, I don't particularly love that my son seems to be picking up a very Southern/redneck dialect. Not overly fond of that one!

So, on to my next question. This one, I would assume, is mostly for moms, or the dads that do the infant shoe shopping. Yeah, so just for moms. Taryn is now walking in short bursts here and there, and is trying like the dickens to do it all the time. I started putting little tennis shoes on her, thinking it would help her feet stay flatter and that it would give her some traction on these wooden floors that she's always slipping on. However, unless she successfully kicks one shoe off, which she usually does, she can't seem to walk if she has both shoes on. I've noticed lately that most every baby in the one year old area has Stride Rite shoes on. I've been asking the parents of said children, and the resounding chorus seems to be that Stride Rites really do help their kids to learn to walk, and walk better. So, off to the internet I went, in search of said shoes, only to find that Stride Rite is very proud of their brand of cute leather foot coverings. They want $40+ for a pair of shoes Taryn will most likely outgrow in ten minutes!!! It hurt to think of buying them. I've looked on eBay, and found a couple that are around $15, but not really the style I want. I bid on a pair of sandals, but if I don't win, I'm okay with that, b/c I really want tennis shoes for her. My question to you is: Did any of you use Stride Rites on your kids? If so, did you feel they were helpful in their learning how to walk? If not, did you find any type/brand of shoe that was particularly pleasing for your child to wear, or helped him learn to walk better? I wouldn't care, except that TJ walks on his tippy-toes, and I'm so afraid that's some kind of walking disability or something that I caused by not giving him adequate shoes to learn to walk in!

Alright, do come out of the woodwork and help me. Either save me the money, or make me feel confident about spending it! I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!