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A guy is walking down the street in Greenwich Village inthe middle of the dayand as he passes a jazz cafe, he hears this incredible piano music. He goes inside, but only sees the bartender and a rather inebriated looking gentleman sitting at the bar in the front. There is nobody playing the piano,so he figures it is just the stereo. But as his eyes adjust to the darkness, the notices what appears to be a doll about the size of an old GI Joe seated at a toy grand piano up on the bar. When he looks a little closer, he notices, much to his shock, that it is actually a tiny, fully formed man and he is playing the piano. The little guys is just tearing it up on everything from Joplin to Jarrett. The man can't believe what he is seeing. After about 30 minutes, the little guy stops playing, the bartender helps him off the bar and gives him a tiny beer and he runs off to the back of the place. Still in shock, the man sits down at the bar, orders a stiff drink and asks the bartender who the little guy is with. The bartender points at the drunk at the bar who has a beer in one hand and what appears to be an old Arabic style oil lamp in the other. The guy asks the drunk where he found the little guy and the drunk says that he found this lamp in a flea market and when he started polishing it, there was a puff of smoke and a genie popped out and said that he would grant him one wish. Our guy asks if he can try it out and the drunk says sure. Well, just like the drunk said, when he rubbed the lamp, out popped the genie who said that he would grant out guy one wish. Well, the man thought about it and said "I want a million bucks!" The genie waved his hand and all of a sudden, not only the entire bar, but the whole neighborhood is filled with white Peking ducks. The man can
t believe it. he looks at the drunk and says "what the hell is this? I asked for a million bucks and this genie appears to have given me a million DUCKS!!!Is the son of a ***** deaf?" The drunk slowly turns his head and says "I may be a drunk, but did you seriously think that I wished for a 12 inch PIANIST?!?!?!"

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

A young man from the hills of West Virginia married this lovely young girl from the other side of the county. As a gift, both sets of parents chipped in and bought them a little piece of nice bottom land and a trailer. The wedding was a grand affair and the new couple went off to spend their wedding night in their new home. The next morning, the boy's father was awoken from a sound sleep by knocking at the front door. Much to his surprise, his son was standing on the front porch with a suitcase. The father asked what happened and the boys said " Pa, I found out that she was a virgin" The father asked what was wrong with that? The boy responded "Well, if she ain't good enough for her own family, then she sure as hell ain't good enough for ours!!!"

Winner for the drawing

I used the random number generator and it selected #20.
Which also happened to be one of the jokes I really enjoyed.Congratulations Pensacola Tiger
Send me a PM with your mailing address and I will send your prize.