Rude mum

Ok, this has been on my mind since it happened on boxing day.
Where more family comes down for Xmas than the day before.
My mum expects me to go around to everyone and kiss them to say hello. I'm not that kind of person, nor am I a big fan of been made/pressured to do it.
I said to her, no I don't need to kiss everyone hello/goodbye. I'll do the people I feel I need to do and that's it.
Then she said I was rude and disrespectful and said "I think you have aspergers"
What a fantastic comment to say to your pregnant daughter whom is having her first child and has an array of hormones and emotions.
I've tried to distance myself a little and only send back short replies. She expects me to go have lunch and dinner with them for my bday coming up and all I want to do is have a quiet day/night in with my Dh...
Sorry for the long rant. Just still feeling very emotional over it

Wow that's a harsh comment to make. Not that having Aspergers is a bad thing, but still a hurtful comment.
Maybe you and her should talk about why she feels you need to hug/kiss everyone and how it makes you feel, and see if you can reach an understanding or agreement on what you can do that makes her satisfied that you're not being rude and that you're not feeling uncomfortable.
Has she or or you had any other reason to think you may have Aspergers? Is this even something worth looking into?
Do you feel comfortable talking with her about your feelings and upcoming birthday etc?
sorry this is happening at such a busy and emotional time!! xx

I'm the same. Not a huge fan of hugging/kissing people hello/goodbye. It's my in laws who insist on doing it and when I told my MIL that I don't want to do it anymore, she lost her shit!! So I kinda know how you feel.
I think that the best thing to do for your birthday is tell your mother what you want to do, and then do exactly that.
That comment she made was totally uncalled for though...

In reply to Thatgirl3

05/01/16

Wow that's a harsh comment to make. Not that having Aspergers is a bad thing, but still a hurtful comment.
Maybe you and her should talk about why she feels you need to hug/kiss everyone and how it makes you feel, and see if you can reach an understanding or agreement on what you can do that makes her satisfied that you're not being rude and that you're not feeling uncomfortable.
Has she or or you had any other reason to think you may have Aspergers? Is this even something worth looking into?
Do you feel comfortable talking with her about your feelings and upcoming birthday etc?
sorry this is happening at such a busy and emotional time!! xx

It's because I'm not a big fan of people touching. I cringe at the thought for certain people. That's where her idea of me having aspergers comes from.

I've told her all I am planning on doing is staying in for my bday. But she says everyone wants to see you. They know where I am, they can come to me. Instead of me going to them all the time...

I think I would dig my heels in and point blank refuse to go out for your birthday! I would also have a conversation with your mum about her comment and how she was out of line, you are an adult and if you don't want to hug people then you are old enough to know your own mind and your boundaries. I am a really huggy, touchy feely person but my sister is not. Its taken ages for people in our family to accept that about her and just let her be but she has always just said that she doesn't want to be hugged and refused to be pressured. I'm sorry this happened at a time when you are supposed to feel supported, especially by your mum.

In reply to babyfish1988

It's because I'm not a big fan of people touching. I cringe at the thought for certain people. That's where her idea of me having aspergers comes from.

I've told her all I am planning on doing is staying in for my bday. But she says everyone wants to see you. They know where I am, they can come to me. Instead of me going to them all the time...

Yes but Aspergers is so much more than that. So don't worry.
Good on you for standing up for yourself and telling your mum what you want. Not everyone likes being centre of attention even if it is their birthday! She should respect your wishes especially on your special day, it's not about her.

That's awful my son has autism and my neice has aspergers and they kiss and say hello what an awful comment to make you poor thing I'd stay away who needs that in their life xo I'm not a kiss and hug everyone either especially that I'm pregnant poor husband doesn't get that even!

There must be something in the air creating these psycho mothers right now. Mines been a bit off too. Stick to your guns I say. This is your life. She can choose what she wants to do with her own. I think
they forget we are adults who can make our own decisions...

In reply to babyfish1988

It's because I'm not a big fan of people touching. I cringe at the thought for certain people. That's where her idea of me having aspergers comes from.

I've told her all I am planning on doing is staying in for my bday. But she says everyone wants to see you. They know where I am, they can come to me. Instead of me going to them all the time...

I feel like this and my grandmother says the same thing to me!!! It's so frustrating, why do people have to categorize? What happened to everyone is individual and comfortable with different things? Stick to your guns about your birthday... its YOUR birthday x

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