A Virgin Who Can't Drive

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When Peter and I got back to my apartment, I turned on some music and asked him if he wanted a drink.

"Sure, what do you have?"

"Bad vodka and this wine Clooney bought for me," I said.

"Har har," Peter said. "I'll take the Clooney wine, and just so you know, he's not usually like that."

"What was that?" I asked as I retrieved the bottle from my fridge and poured us two glasses. I sat next to Peter on my couch.

"Honestly, I think he was a little nervous," Peter said. "He's a good guy, I think he was just showing off."

We sipped our wine in silence for a few moments.

"Who is this?" Peter asked.

"Foster the People."

"Who?!"

"You're so old," I laughed.

"You like it," he said, serious all of a sudden. He took my wine glass out of my hand, set it on the table, and hooked his arm around me before leaning in to kiss me. We started making out again, and God it was hot. Eventually, we shifted around so that I was lying down and he was on top of me, and then things really started getting steamy. Suddenly, Peter pulled away.

"Because we've both had a lot to drink, and you don't want to do this like this, on your couch."

"Do what on my couch?"

"This," Peter said, gesturing at both of us. "Your first time."

I slid out from underneath Peter and sat up as quickly as I could. "My first time?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, aren't you…"

"A virgin?" I finished for him.

"Yeah, I thought, you know, because you're always like dodging going home together, and you're young, that maybe…" Peter looked really flustered.

"Peter," I said, trying not to laugh, "I am not a virgin."

"Oh."

"I'm just trying to take things easy, I wasn't even going to have sex with you tonight. I thought we were just going to fool around or whatever."

Peter suddenly started laughing. "God, I am old. Why did I think that?"

"I have no idea," I was laughing too. "Like, that is insane that you thought that."

"Okay, so let's just pretend that this conversation never happened," he said, raking his fingers through his hair. The top few buttons of his shirt were undone, and he looked incredibly sexy.

"Deal." I agreed. Anddd let the making out continue!

Peter left a little while later. I really wanted to text Ashley to tell her how crazy it was that he actually thought I was still a card holding member of the V-club, but I had a feeling she was busy making out with Fedora Guy, ugh. I had to go to bed early anyway, since I wanted to wake up early and make some final revisions to my writing sample before turning it in. Maybe I should rename the character Super-Virgin?

Has a guy ever had a completely off-the-wall impression of you before?