Only Whitey's closest friends know his softer, more philosophical side...

...the one that believes we should all take time to stop and smell the roses.

As a hostess, I try to provide anything he might need while he's here...

...whether he's turning in for the night...

...or chillaxin' to some Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass.

Hey, Whitey...

...tell' em about that thing you did in Panama that time, you know, with the bacon and the ping-pong paddle. [*snort*]

Whitey?

Aw, no, man! You want to get your heart stomped on like last time?

Besides, she's too tall - too tall!

Man, I can not talk to him when he gets that look on his face.

So, get this: Ann, whose blog happens to be called Ann's Rants (there's a sweet coincidence - the perfect storm!), has paid me the immense honor of posting my list of silly blog acronyms (previous post) on her sidebar. That's right - I said sidebar. I mean, no one ever changes their sidebar, right? (I, for one, have not updated mine since 1978.) I look forward to seeing them there for years to come.

In the meantime, however, if you have not yet had the pleasure of visiting Ann's pad, you definitely should - she's smart, sly, a terrific writer and...I'll just say it: a minx. (There's also a rumor floating around the 'Net that she knows her way around a pair of nunchucks.) Thank you so much, Ann!

Big thanksalso to Brenda Jean at In The Treetop for the Lemonade Award (available for viewing in the luscious sidebar at right) ANDto Little Everyday Things for an awesome shout-out during the recent SITS holiday greetings event.More great blogs a-go-go!

the very next time one of my friends says I have too much time on my hands, because I take crazy pictures like .. my slice of cold pizza with all my pneumonia meds making a smiley face on it .. and that I have way too much time on my hands ... I'm sending them here LOL .. Whitey is fantabulous! Run that pink bitch off .. shoot her!

Especially the "hard" part about watching your house guest fall over the deep end with those "expensive", ahem you know we don't say that word around here, pink things. Make sure he gets checked out when he gets back home. He might need medicated lotion for the privates :)

Love Whitey! We all need friends..no matter what type of holiday symbol they be. The pic of him on the swing with your dog in the background would be even better if your dog was dooking or lifting his leg on the tree...oh wait knowing you that is the next post..."Dog shows Whitey who runs this house" post

Thanks for the nice mental image of the real Bon Jovi in tighty whiteys.

I think Whitey can decide things for himself. I'm sure a lot of people will judge them for the color of their needles. Maybe they are just too different. But maybe, just maybe that's the kind of conifer lovin' this crazy mixed up world needs a little more of.

I'm sure I'm just imagining this but wasn't she in last month's National Geographic centerfold without her earrings and bow?

Hi! You are right. I do love the free..but I would pay to the ceiling (a dollar) to read your stuff :) Whitey is as a white as I get during the winter. I still have to wear an SPF Corpse during these times. Funny, funny.

Everytime I think to myself..."she isn't gonna be able to top this post!" You go and do it. However..."you ain't gonna be able to top this post!" Clever and funny and a wee bit bizarre...just like you!

Woman you are so TOO MUCH! LMAO.. hey bring over the tree guy, I'll make the dirty martinis (cuz I think he likes em dirty) and we'll see what we can find under the tree.. HA!!!!

I think I'm adding you to the list of tre cool peeps who'll get the invite to the big bash I'll be planning at that chic private club in NYC.. once I win the freaking lottery! Maaan those guys promised me if I got them the IL senate seat I'd be in like flinn and I ain't seen a (explative deleted) penny yet!!!

I lost it when I saw Whitey doing laundry. I like to think about the time it took you to take all of these pictures. And how (if it were me anyway) I'd be cracking myself up as I put Whitey in each new situation.

oh my God, seriously you have made my day! i'll keep a look out for whitey :) i see more to come in his future. maybe a vacation with tropical drinks in hand? that would mean you would have to go and bring your camera. tell your hubby "i need to go to hawaii, because my bloggy friends said so, Oh and whitey has to come too!" have a good weekend

I think Whitey should lose the contacts and stick to the glasses. He looks so smart in glasses. I saw a Goldy at Target today that might turn Whitey's head(limbs) or whatever it is that turns when a tree is smitten.

I really like Whitey especially when he is washing his tighty-whitey's. And Miss Pink is certainly alluring - I wonder if they will have pink and white spotted little tree pinecones or sort of a light pink. What do you think???? Have you advised him that it's best to stay within your color range when contemplating marriage (which I assume he is contemplating after seeing the look on his face)

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Anna Lefler is an award-winning writer and humorist and the author of THE CHICKTIONARY: FROM A-LINE TO Z-SNAP, THE WORDS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW (Adams Media, November 2011). Her work has appeared online at Salon.com, McSweeney's, TheBigJewel, MyPheme, FunnyNotSlutty and HumorPress. Anna's essays on modern motherhood have been nationally syndicated and her fiction has been presented onstage by WordTheatre Los Angeles. She has performed standup comedy in Los Angeles clubs including the Hollywood Improv, the Comedy Store, Room 5 Lounge and M Bar. Anna can also be found at www.annalefler.com, where she is trying to stop referring to herself in third person.