Playboy: The Mansion

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Straddling the line between silly and sexy.

By Juan Castro

Live the life of Hugh Hefner. That's what Playboy: The Mansion promises. It invites you to walk the halls of the infamous Playboy Mansion, a wildly hot babe on each arm, and erect a publishing empire second to none. As Hugh, you'll throw nightly parties full of socialites and topless women, form million-dollar contracts and rub shoulders with some of America's biggest characters. As Hugh, you'll command a loyal staff of journalists, photographers, executives, and models, all of whom you can befriend or fire on a whim. Lastly, you'll command the affections of almost every woman who dares step through your front door.

Life, for Hugh, is good. Too bad it's just not very fun. For all that real Hugh has going for him, virtual Hugh can't seem to escape the pedestrian lifestyle of your average Sim. True, Playboy: The Mansion bombards you with wide array of digital boobies, but sex in-game holds the same appeal as clipping your toenails. You can expand your mansion and stuff it with big-screen TVs and a $24,000 DJ station, but it never captures the eclectic pizzazz of the real thing. Or even of a similar game, for that matter. Take the Urbz, for example, a flawed yet oddly charming title that did a pretty decent job of distilling the essence of the urbanite lifestyle.

And here's why: the folks behind Playboy: The Mansion don't understand what the real Hefner understood in the 1950s when starting his prolific magazine. Hugh realized that in order to lead a kick ass life (which, by most accounts, he did) you need to stand on three pillars of awesomeness: Business, Buddies and Boobies. The three "Bs" if you will. And while Playboy incorporates the three "Bs," each element could benefit from better implementation. Sure, you can schmooze with big-name stars and form a little posse of intimate friends, but they all behave the same way. Each character walks the same way, acts the same and spouts the same "Simlish" you've been hearing for years now.

The business side of Playboy is undoubtedly the best thing about the game. Ultimately, it's a matter of juggling your finances. You start the game as a relative unknown and need to build the publication from the ground up through missions. Each mission has several goals, ranging from befriending celebrities to participating in steamy affairs. Usually, these goals require minimal effort to complete. Making friends is as easy as clicking a favorable dialogue option, such as "casual talk" or "friendly handshake." If a goal requires you to make a business partner and sign a contract, all you need to do is select from a list of business-centric options, such as "formal handshake" and "share stock tips." Eventually, the options to solidify your friendship or business deal will pop, and depending on the mood of your target, they'll either decline or accept.

Like the Sims, Playboy factors mood through a number of different meters. In this case, a gamer needs to watch six gauges: leisure, romance, business, entertainment, friendship and personal growth. Getting someone into a good mood is a matter of stocking the mansion with all the amenities needed to show them a good time. Your guests will feel lonely if you don't hire enough Playboy Bunnies to woo them, and their leisure meters will suffer until you buy plenty of sofas, and so on. Their romance, business and friendship needs will only be appeased if you talk to them.

Making your guests happy, mending relationships and having affairs is only part of the job you need to do. You also need to publish a bitchin' magazine full of cool articles and shots of naked women. To do this, you first need to hire a full production staff and order them to write articles and shoot pictorials, cover shots and centerfolds. You also need to throw parties constantly in order to lure celebrities, models and politicians to the mansion so your photographers and journalists can nab them for interviews and photo shoots. You can host parties whenever and wherever you want (except on the upper floor of the mansion) by choosing the "throw party" option. You then choose to hold it at night or during the day, plus what your guests will wear (formal, casual, lingerie, etc.).