June

Let’s be honest. Everything in your bean garden is dead. It’s the middle of winter, I can hear what you’re saying. “We’re tired, we’ve had enough!” So I reckon take the month of June off gardening and go learn a new skill like crochet. It’s a dying art form. Who do you know apart from me, and maybe your dead grandmother that can crochet? Think about it, I envisage that crochet will be huge in ten years. Think of the potential earnings if you can become an expert in the artform this month. Good luck!

If attending the annual bean farmers conference, bring a plate a beans (you may have to open a jar of preserves – I know it’s difficult), and a bad attitude for three days of intensives where we subject various political leaders from across the political spectrum to constant abuse and an endless rampaging torrent of vitriol because of the lack of support for Market Gardeners.