Trump has subsequently become a prominent Romney surrogate and fundraiser. This week, Trump explained that, at the time of his critical comments he didn’t know Romney and has since come to “realize he’s a terrific guy”. (yeah, terrific!)

1. “Romney is basically small-business guy, if you really think about it. He was a hedge fund. He was a funds guy. He walked away with some money from a very good company that he didn’t create. He worked there. He didn’t create it.”

2. “I have a much, much bigger net worth. I mean my net worth is many, many, many times Mitt Romney.”

The once-promising, but then progressively quite sad, prospects for the Donald Trump debate have completely withered away: Donald Trump is bowing out of moderating the Newsmax debate timed right before the Iowa caucuses.

According a statement from the proverbial desk of the media mogul, via Greta Van Susteren’s blog, he said that the reason he was not moderating the debate was because he’s still threatening to unveil another fake independent candidacy–not because the only candidates who decided to show up were Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum.

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In the same way that he ended his candidacy the first time around, he still insisted that if he actually had moderated the debate it would’ve been the “most watched” and best of them all.

“I would like to thank Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum for having the courage, conviction, and confidence to immediately accept being a part of the Newsmax debate. I believe this would not only have been the most watched debate, but also the most substantive and interesting debate!”

Oh no, everyone grab hold of your weeping tissues this minute: Donald Trump reportedly reconsidering his GOP debate comedy special after even Michele Bachmann are fit of inspiration and declined the chance to be humiliated by one of her fellow cartoon characters.

This leaves only Ol’ Frothy and Ol’ Flakey, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich, to join Trump for the debate, but mechanically speaking a three-person circle jerk is just sort of difficult.

AP reports:

“I have to look into it,” Trump told Fox Business Network when asked whether he would host a two-candidate debate.

“She came up to see me four times. She would call me and ask me for advice,” Trump said. “She said if she wins, she would like to think about me for the vice presidency. Most importantly, I did a two-hour phone call for her with her people. … And after all that, she announced she was not going to do the debate. It’s called loyalty. How do you do that? It’s amazing to me.”

That’s some serious wizardry right there, Donald Trump, magically making Michele Bachmann appear to have a little bit of dignity.

The decision to allow a Trump-moderated debate has sparked backlash even among Republicans, but Trump has vigorously defended his qualifications to moderate the debate, and even endorse a candidate afterwards. But naturally, Stephen Colbert sees this as a challenge to his own pedigree — and spent a solid three minutes bombastically explaining why he’s a much better fit to host a debate than Trump.

“The point is, forget Donald Trump. He’s history, rolled in ‘forget him,’ smothered in yesterday sauce. Tomorrow is about me, the most famous man in the history of South Carolina. The GOP wants a serious debate? They deserve it.”

He then announced his own debate, which he says will be on Animal Planet sometime in January. (“We’ll figure out the date later.”)

Remember a few months ago when the Republicans were excited about … right, Donald Trump?

And then something happened, we never knew exactly what, and he was “no longer a viable candidate.”

His multi-million ill-gotten fortune couldn’t have been the problem, because Mitt’s still in.

The serial adultery and divorces and tacky new wives? Nope, Newt’s still around.

Being mentally ill? Hasn’t stopped Bachmann!

What about the basic ignorance and stupidity? Rick Perry hasn’t quit the race, and it’s not what’s making Herman Cain quit, either.

Maybe it was his national joke of a hairpiece?

Whatever the reason, Donald Trump was at least as qualified as all the other GOP candidates combined, so now he gets the consolation prize of moderating a Republican debate, presumably because Kermit the Frog had a prior commitment (and some morals).

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The NYT reports on this latest slip down the GOP’s evolutionary ladder:

Donald Trump is pairing up with Newsmax, the conservative magazine and news Web site, to moderate a presidential debate in Des Moines on Dec. 27.

“Our readers and the grass roots really love Trump,” said Christopher Ruddy, chief executive of Newsmax Media. “They may not agree with him on everything, but they don’t see him as owned by the Washington establishment, the media establishment.”

Mr. Trump’s role in the debate, which will be broadcast on the cable network Ion Television, is sure to be one of the more memorable moments in a primary season that has already delivered its fair share of circus-like spectacle.

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Oh come on, liberal New York Times! You are insulting circus-like spectacles and the reputation of professional clowns and freaks.

So, on December 27 when lonely old GOP primary voters are starting to realize their kids really aren’t coming for Christmas this year, Donald Trump and the senior-citizen webzine Newsmax will finally provide some top-notch holiday entertainment.

Media-attention mogul and real estate tycoon Donald Trump joined the hosts at Fox & Friends to offer more of his thoughtful perspective on the Occupy Wall Street movement. “I think they’re very well-dressed,” he quipped, marveling one of the protesters “beautiful suits.”

“Nobody knows why they’re protesting, but they’re having a good time,” he insisted.

Host Gretchen Carlson wondered whether “we’re all supposed to assume they’re unemployed,” to which Trump replied, “They don’t look unemployed. Some of them really don’t look unemployed. And their parents look like they really probably work on Wall Street.”