AS LONG AS the NFL and its TV networks are so fixated on stats – to the sustained detriment of fans under the influence of stat-parroting “experts” – why not, radical as it may seem, fix a few stats so they make more applicable and common sense. It can be easily done, simply by assigning a baseball-like official scorer to each game.

For starters, let’s stop presenting interceptions in flat, unqualified form, as if the number of interceptions thrown clearly relate to quarterbacks’ abilities and efficiencies. Because they don’t.

Interceptions come in two distinctly different forms:

* There are the bad throw/decision interceptions that should be blamed on the QB.

* Then there are the beyond-the-QB’s-control interceptions: good passes that deflect off receivers’ hands; “Hail Marys” at the end of each half (when the QB tries to throw into a crowd); blooped passes when the QB is hit from behind.

The same shame-shame statistical value is attached to both kinds, which, when statistically assessing a QB, is absurd. That’s why baseball long ago chose to distinguish earned runs from unearned runs.

To differentiate an “earned” interception from an “unearned” interception would not be difficult. And it would underscore the circumstantial nature of football, something neither the NFL nor the majority of the football media have ever been inclined to do.

* At some point, generally late in “Monday Night Football” telecasts, Al Michaels makes a wise-guy crack that alludes to the over/under number being approached or surpassed. That troubles more than a few readers.

But the significance of “Monday Night Football” has been largely lost to all, except gamblers. Its significance has been lost to “Sunday Night Football;” to 9:05 p.m. starts and 12:45 a.m. finishes; to sleep; to Dennis Miller and Lisa Guerrero; to commercial overload; and to desperate, cross-promotional halftime shows.

Why shouldn’t Michaels point to the over/under? By the time he brings it up, a big chunk of those still watching aren’t watching the game as much as they’re watching their action.

* Leave it to Nike.

At a time when Warren Sapp finally is being recognized for what he is – a relentless self-promoter, an over-rated defensive player (especially when compared to teammates Simeon Rice and Derrick Brooks), and an inflammatory but fraudulent voice of social activism (he has accused the NFL of slave-mastering because it won’t indulge his calculated-for-attention on-field misbehavior) – Nike rolls out a new TV ad, starring, ta da!, Warren Sapp.

Of course, if Sapp were twice the player but a modest and thoughtful man, Nike wouldn’t want anything to do with him.

Nike remains one of the reasons why there is so little sport left in our sports. And Nike remains eager to remove what’s left. Everyone else – from ESPN to video-game makers – continues to work off a copy of the same plan. And look where that has gotten us.

* Speaking of diminished values, the Big East, seeking to replace Boston College, Miami and Virginia Tech, is on the verge of doing what right-headed adults, representing reputable universities, would reject as out of the question: It’s about to allow the University of Cincinnati to sign on.

Granted, Big East programs have had – and will continue to have – plenty to be ashamed of. But UC basketball, over the past dozen years, has produced (and recruited) more criminals than graduates. UC basketball gives scandal a bad name. Welcome!

* Prior to last Saturday’s Breeders’ Cup, self-declared thoroughbred expert Mike Francesa puffed himself up then blew hard about how European horses can’t run in the heat, so if it’s hot at Santa Anita, the European entries have no shot, none whatsoever, Dog.

Turned out it was plenty hot at Santa Anita, nearly 100 degrees. European horses won three of the eight races.