There’s a port on a western bay
And it serves a hundred ships a day
Lonely sailors pass the time away
And talk about their homes

And there’s a girl in this harbor town
And she works layin’ whiskey down
They say, Brandy, fetch another round
She serves them whiskey and wine

The sailors say: “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“Yeah, your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea”

Brandy wears a braided chain
Made of finest silver from the North of Spain
A locket that bears the name
Of the man that Brandy loved

He came on a summer’s day
Bringin’ gifts from far away
But he made it clear he couldn’t stay
No harbor was his home

The sailors say: “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea”

Yeah, Brandy used to watch his eyes
When he told his sailor stories
She could feel the ocean fall and rise
She saw its ragin’ glory
But he had always told the truth, Lord, he was an honest man
And Brandy does her best to understand

At night when the bars close down
Brandy walks through a silent town
And loves a man who’s not around
She still can hear him say
She hears him say “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea”
It is, yes it is,
He said, “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea”

You had asked me
To try to speak to you
But I just jumped up in the air
Then we started shakin’
And I was so scared
But you led me safely from that room
And then you
Helped me disable
The deadly neurotoxin
That would have surely spelled my doom
So Wheatley,
Why’d you try to kill me?
After all that we’d been through!
Everything we’d done
Seemed like so much fun
But I just don’t know what happened
to you.

Well I remember
Those times we were together
When you weren’t totally insane.
Breakin’ windows
And solvin’ puzzles
My oh my, how things have changed!
So Wheatley,
Why’d you try to kill me?
After all that we’d been through!
Everything we’d done
Seemed like so much fun
But I just don’t know what happened
to you.

I never called you a moron
I never said you looked fat
I never claimed you were adopted
…or asked to buy me a hat
I only wanted to help you
‘Cause I thought that you’d help me
Then I found out you were as evil as evil can be…
Yeah!
(Guitar Solo)
You were my best friend
But you know it had to end
Because nothing gold can stay.
When you said that I’d die
I felt a tear drop in my eye
That’s when I started to say…

Wheatley,
Why’d you try to kill me?
After all that we’d been through!
Everything we’d done
Seemed like so much fun
But I just don’t know what happened to you.
Wheatley,
Why’d you make me kill you?
Shot you through a portal
To the moon!
You’re floatin’ ’round in space
And I just can’t replace
This Wheatley-sized hole
In my Heart.

Look at me: still talking
When there’s science to do
When I look out there,
It makes me GLaD I’m not you

I’ve experiments to run
There is research to be done
On the people who are
Still alive
And believe me I am
Still alive
I’m doing science and I’m
Still alive
I feel fantastic and I’m
Still alive
While you’re dying I’ll be
Still alive
And when you’re dead I will be
Still alive

Oh, Johnny was a tall man but his memory was short
He’d forget to duck at doorways and often he’d get hurt
I took good care of him for he had no family
Actually he did, but he forgot who they be

Johnny often liked to go out on the town
He’d forget where he’d be going so he’d just wander around
I knew when he was back for I would hear the smack
Of his head hitting the doorway but tonight it was alack

Johnny came home headless, it was a great disgrace
But wherever it’s a-lying there’s a smile upon his face
I should have seen it coming, he finally lost his mind
But if his head don’t turn up soon then all his hats are mine

Johnny came towards me but suddenly he stopped
As if trying to think of something but having no luck
Still he didn’t notice that his head weren’t there
‘Til he took out a brush and tried to comb his hair

I said, “Johnny where’s your cranium?” but he didn’t seem to know
He just shrugged his shoulders and tried to find his nose
And the sight of him there topless made me start to cry
For I feared we’d ne’er again see eye to eye

Johnny came home headless, it was a great disgrace
But wherever it’s a-lying there’s a smile upon his face
I should have seen it coming, he should have stayed in bed
For now I fear he’ll spend his life just trying to get ahead

Refusing to believe that he had split for good
His lower half and me searched the neighbourhood
It soon became apparent that his head we wouldn’t find it
He could not retrace his steps, he was absent minded

Well years went by til late one night I heard a voice I swore
Was Johnny calling out to me, I flung open the door
Johnny’s head was home, it took a taxi cab
Alas, it was too late, his body had gone bad

Johnny’s head was homeless, his body was cremated
And the funeral was harder than he had anticipated
I should of seen it coming he said in his eulogy
But never thought I’d have to say I ain’t got no-body

(I ain’t got nobody)

Johnny came home headless, it was a great disgrace
But now his head’s upon a shelf, a smile upon his face
But now his head’s upon a shelf, a smile upon his face