#improvementseason

images and videos

Four years ago, last week, I sent @nicktongstrong my very first check-in photos. Since that time I’ve increased my body weight by 48 percent. Which is almost too crazy to absorb. Anyone who has ever lost or gained a lot of weight understands you often don’t realize how much weight you’ve changed, until you do. On top of the fact, before Nick, I had almost never been over 100lbs in my life. I didn’t have weight to lose to begin with. I’ve been a hardgainer since I can remember, athletic in ice skating, gymnastics, and dance growing up, and then in my late teens/early 20s I became very sick and lost a frightening amount of weight. So much they were worried about my heart and internal organs, so I was hospitalized. After spending many months in and out of the hospital over the course of several years, I was finally diagnosed with celiac. Celiac and gluten problems weren’t in vogue at the time, so I had to figure it out on my own….it took a while, and even longer to recover and be able to eat normal(ish) again. I went through a couple of years that I had to puree all of my food and could only eat four or five items, which I rotated to avoid developing intolerance.
Needless to say, this type of background does not create the best relationship with food. So once I was able to live a normal life again I tiptoed around what I ate and basically was afraid of everything. But I was able to maintain an equilibrium where I was well, could be active (I ran competitively, lifted, crossfitted, and had active hobbies (hiking) like I do now), healthy, and happy…so that was enough for me, until it wasn’t.
I believe the universe brings you the right people at the right time and that is 100 percent how I feel about Nick. I’m so grateful for him as a coach, friend, and ass kicker. He’s helped me be a better athlete, pursue my goals in bodybuilding, feel and look the best I ever have….but more importantly, he’s helped me be a better human in far reaching ways. Life as I know it today wouldn’t exist without his presence in it. Everything in life has a domino effect, and I’m forever grateful the #TongStrong domino tumbled in my direction.

Super excited about my front squat improvements, the video on the left was taken almost a year ago (when I couldn’t front squat over 95lbs) and the one on the right was taken today☺️ working on keeping a stable foot position throughout the movement and I think it’s definitely working!
Left: 95lbs
Right: 125lbs (80% of my max)

‼️PLEASE READ THE CAPTION‼️
Here's the thing. I feel like there are more and more people and things trying to bring me down or make me feel bad about myself and/or what I am doing here with my social media and more broadly, my life and you know what? It upsets me. It upsets me every time and it upsets me quite a lot. I find it upsetting that people feel the need to try and hold others back, and I find it upsetting that we live in a society where it seems to be unacceptable to think big and follow your dreams. I don't want to be mediocre. I don't want you to want to be mediocre either. Every time I feel like something or someone is getting in the way of what I want to achieve I will fight 100x harder because I will NOT give up and neither will you (right?) let us break the societal norms. Let us prove them all wrong. Because we lift each other up. And WE ARE F#!KING STRONG.

Okay, last photos I'll post from the show...maybe. I have never been that tan before in my life, and won't be ever again..until my next show. Which will likely be next year! But for now, #improvementseason 😎😎😎

🔹PHYSIQUE UPDATE🔹
(Swipe left ⬅️)
The second set of pictures was the FIRST set of process pictures I took back in 2015. I had just registered for my first challenge with @katyhearnfit and started my fitness journey.
Want to know what's crazy about both of these? I weigh exactly the same!! Body recomposition takes time and dedication, and patience (something that I've always lacked 🙄). I've tried multiple approaches - IIFYM, intuitive eating (currently), excessive amounts of cardio, no cardio at all, etc. There's no one rule to fitness, and there is no such thing as a finish line. I've learned through the years that the scale is such an inaccurate representation of progress. So many factors contribute - water weight, stress (cortisol levels), etc. You can fluctuate anywhere from 5-7 pounds a day. I have fallen victim to it, and it's taken me SO much time to realize it's JUST a number. •
Take pictures, believe in yourself, and more importantly, TRUST the process. 🙌🏻❤️
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••#trusttheprocess#rememberwhyyoustarted#faithinmyprocess#TransformationTuesday

Happy Tuesday friends! Thought I'd post some vacation accountability 🙃. The places we've been staying have some sort of gym, so I've taken advantage of that the last two mornings. Hit some back and biceps this morning and it felt way better than yesterday's workout. I think I'm finally getting acclimated to the time difference and the heat. The last couple of days have been busy; and we've been enjoying the sites and the sun. I've been eating intuitively the last few days and it's been great. I've been keeping alcohol to a minimum which I honestly don't hate at all. I really don't even miss it all that much. I've also been making a point of trying new stuff and food I can't get at home, so I've been eating a lot of fresh fish the last few days which has been SO good. (Tried grilled octopus my first night here... not gonna lie, it was real fricken good). Oh yeah, and I went two days without peanut butter for anybody that was wondering 😵😵, basically a record for me.

Improvement season is in full swing🙌🏼 Let's wrap up my little rant regarding improvement season and weight gain...🙃
(Part 2)
Food is not the enemy. Your enemy is your mind and the negative things that your inner gremlin likes to tell you about food/calories/the scale. Once you acknowledge this, you will be closer to knocking down the barrier that lies between your self destructive thoughts and your goals.
I absolutely despised the thought of getting "fat". I automatically assumed that if I wasn't stage lean, I was "fat". That is 100% false. I am h e a l t h y. And damn it feels SO good to have good lifts again, to lift decent weight, and to just feel fueled and full of energy.
Yes, it's hard to face weight gain. Yes, it messes with my head and makes me feel insecure at times- I don't feel as confident in revealing clothes and I prefer not to show as much skin. However, this is my body, this is who I am. I need to stop picking every piece of myself apart, and start applauding myself for my little victories.
•
Goals/Takeaways:
- Let those negative thoughts knock on your door as they please, but don't let them in. Simply recognize they are there and dismiss them. You are the master of your thoughts.
- Build yourself up. I bet you wouldn't talk to your friends or family the way you talk to yourself so harshly. Give yourself some love, be kind to yourself, treat yourself respectfully.
- Gaining (healthy) weight is not something to be afraid of. It is necessary for growth!! Put the scale away and just ask yourself if you're doing what makes you feel well and healthy.
This self love thing is hard. I struggle every. single. day. Slowly but surely though, I'm starting to love me for me, not just how I look. I give so much of my love and kindness to others, it's time I learn to give some to myself😇❤️
- also I've gotten lots of DM's since speaking about this subject, and I do answer them all. If you need to reach out to me or have questions, feel free to contact me! You aren't alone in this💕