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I AM FEMALE MAGAZINE GUEST BLOGGER

Preparation for the wedding has started since we only decided on the wedding date around December last year. So many things to do but the first thing we did was to find a designer for my wedding dresses :)

I've started being more busy on the wedding preparations, more time & blogposts spent on that.

MARCH - No WIWT shots, final month before I become a wife. Naz left for a business trip in Japan for 5 weeks and came back a week before we got married, I had to do everything by myself. I thought I could have died of fatigue.

Only 4 posts this month of May, first I said I was sick and wrote "Take care while you still have your health". Don't know why I said that, sounded so serious. Second post, I was still sick (constant fever, diarrhea, pale, fatigue, shortness of breath) but I posted photos of our solemnization day I got from our wedding photographer. Third post - I finally mustered some energy to go out & mingle, went to Leftblock x Nike event. Fourth - the shocking newsflash.

JUNE - SEPTEMBER

Uniform for months - with the occasional sweater, beanie and proper matching socks.

Zero posts around these month, was in and out of the hospital most of the time. 3-4 weeks in hospital, and then a few days resting period at home then back to the hospital. I tweeted most of the time. I'm really grateful for those who came to visit, even people whom I've never met (blog readers) came by, such kind hearts. My mother instantly moved in the ward with me, taking care of me like ol' times. Husband came by every single day after work - all the way from Bangi to Ampang. He never slept in our bedroom at home when I wasn't there, he slept on the sofa instead. He told me to keep on writing but I just couldn't. He wrote instead.

OCTOBER

Feels so good to be back at home after so long, I got a full month leave from the hospital during Ramadhan and celebrated Eid at my hometown. Finally wrote a post about my cancer, surprised that there are still people reading my blog and giving me support eventhough they only know me through words & pictures.

Was determined to make full use of my stay-at-home leave to meet my friends and go out and just be happy. Attempted to wear the hijab ala Yuna but failed. Was nervous meeting Jezmine & Adriani, in my first maxi skirt and two toned hijab. I'm liking more & more the versatility of styling hijab and loving all the supports from family and friends.

Can't tell you how much I love this month of the year, too many good things happened. Grown closer to really good people, met more amazing people, made new friends. Loved a lot and laughed a lot. All in all, happiest December so far ♥

As a conclusion, 2010 has it's positive streaks - hardships & happy moments preparing for our wedding, designed my own wedding dresses + solemnization outfit, got married to the love of my life after 7 years of courtship, moved in together to an apartment, made new friends, finally met Yuna in person and the infamous Hana Tajima, started wearing hijab permanently (best decision ever).

And the negative side - got diagnosed of leukemia, but hey I won't let it define my life! :)

Here I am reporting live from Ward 7B at Hospital Ampang, I got in last night and got a 3rd class bed this time. No biggie, I'm gonna be here only for a few days. It's close to the toilet and next to the TV set (not that I like to watch TV anyways, brought my external hdd filled with TV series that I love.) Need to catch up on Dexter, Criminal Minds and The Mentalist.

~ ~ ~

Just woke up from the sleeping shots they gave me before my bone marrow assessment. Initially they didn't plan for a BMA for me but this morning they wanted to make sure the cancerous cells has decreased or absent at all so they squeezed me in for a slot. Some patients refused to do bone marrow assessment. I don't get why would they refuse treatment. All you have to do is lie by your side with knees close to chest (fetal position) and bare your back a little. The nurse will inject sleep inducing meds in your system before the doctor penetrate your back to get the marrow on the bone closest to your skin, your pelvis bone. As long as I pass out before the doc does that I'm fine, I don't feel a thing and the next time I open my eyes I'm already on my bed feeling drowsy :)

I'll be receiving my GCSF shot this evening, it's gonna sting a little but I'll survive :P Anyways here's an old photo of me when I just started wearing hijab.

Leopard shawl - from Adriani

Tee - from Tina + Kish + Yani (part of birthday gift)

Studded chiffon cardigan - Frette & Dear.com

Tailored harem pants - The Shoplifters

Brown studded flats - Charles & Keith

Bag - Guess

I guess since I can't do outfit shots in the hospital, I'll post old outfit shots that haven't been published before :)

Remember the Inna Rovita hijab style I tried? Well turns out if you're gonna wear slippery chiffon you better use a lot of pins especially if you're wearing it the whole day. Coz by the end of the day you might look like a douchey shaman T__T

Went out with Adriani & Shea in the evening and watched Rapunzle with Kish, Yani & my man at night.

Tricky thing about taking photos in a mall is that you feel extra conscious at people passing by and looking at you. Thanks Adriani for the effort of taking my outfit of the day, I was shy and moved a lot :P was wearing;

Photo after I just came back from hospital for chemo (last August), has no eyebrows, pale and looking sick. Should’ve atleast worn some make-up, it was a surprise birthday celebration for me by hubby & my friends <3

So, this morning when I was preparing breakfast my phone rang — and as expected Hospital Ampang called (dreadfully). The head nurse said it’s time for my treatment, so I must be admitted tomorrow. But this time it will only be for awhile, I won’t be having another chemo session, this time it’s only for blood collection. Tube insertion to my femoral aka veins high on the thigh on Friday and GSCF shots every day for four days. Then blood collection for one or two days. Then I can go back home and wait for them to arrange all those transplant admission date whatnot.

I wish I didn’t have to go through transplant but I simply MUST do everything that I can to get rid of this cancer. If I don’t do it, what are the chances right? I just can’t forgive myself if I don’t go through this. So anyways, you might not hear any updates from me till later next week. But I’ll still tweet, and maybe …. blog and heck I might still tumblr! :P

Holding a MAYSAA package, picked it up at IAMJETFUELSHOP. A courtesy I did for my dear friends Adriani, Rhona, Hanna Rabitah, Dell (Jangan lupa belanja I makan kat Chili's lepas ni okay!) :P Didn't get anything for myself this time, I've spent too much this month, sigh. I helped them buy some overleft Maysaa items from the event from my friend Niena who works as a crew for the event + works at IAMJETFUELSHOP. Thanks a lot Niena!! There are rumors that Maysaa products will be put in IAMJETFUELSHOP but I don't know when will that be exactly. If you guys wanna buy Maysaa, do check out Maysaa.com or contact Hana Tajima herself (in case there are more of those leftovers from the event)

Congratulations Aizat & Nadia, love your garden themed wedding. Nadia looked like a better version of Cinderella with her charming prince Aizat by her side. May the marriage be blessed with an abundance of love and happiness ♥

Congratulations Wani, this is the first time we met but I'm glad I was there to share your big day. So lovely in lacey pink and baby blue. Was great meeting the other girls too :) May your marriage be blessed with love and happiness.

Blogging since 2008. Engineer turned Fashion Journalist/Stylist. Passion for fashion made me quit my years of job as an engineer, passion for fashion also made my battle with leukemia all the more interesting. Kicking cancer in the nuts with style since 2010 ♥