The Rosie Report

The Rosie Pope Rosetta Stone

I have received quite a few comments about the expressions that I use on Pregnant In Heels (not to mention my speech in general, but that’s a post for another time!). I must admit, a good deal of my favorite slang words are simply substitutes for clinical phrases/words I’m just too uncomfortable to state aloud- a standard Brit problem, no doubt. So, without further ado, here is a little primer for those of you following along at home:

Queen Victoria: As you may know from the first episode, this refers to…well….the entirety of the female plumbing (even now I’m blushing imagining you all reading this). It strikes me as a decidedly lady-like way to refer to your lady-parts, like putting a little tiara on top.

Prince Edward:As I am equally uncomfortable discussing boy parts on camera (and so the boys don’t feel left out of the “royal family” so to speak), I use this phrase in lieu of saying “penis.” Rest assured, however, that I am teaching my boys the proper terminology for all parts of their anatomy, regardless of how incredibly uncomfortable it may make me feel!

Lady Town:See definition for “Queen Victoria”.

God Save the Queen:Oh the uses for this lovely little phrase! They all boil down to the following: take care down there – and please, no camel toe on the mannequins!

Jublies: A fun, playful word for breasts that is decidedly more polite than the horrific American frat boy phrase “fun bags.”

Spotted Dick:Minds out of the gutter: this simply refers to a traditional English dessert often served at tea time.

Fertile Myrtle:If you are one of those lucky ducks who can get pregnant by simply bumping into your hubby in the hallway (or by consuming one or two particularly strong dirty martinis at the right time of the month) then this refers to you.

Holy Moly: As the parent of a toddler, this is my favorite non-swearword swearword. It’s essentially the G-rated version of “holy sh-t!” and is interchangeable with “wowza”.

Crazy Town: This is my universal term for anything crazy – from something that’s just a touch off (like some of the conversations I’ve had with cab drivers over the past year) to full-blown mayhem (like when your toddler unexpectedly wakes up ready to party at 3 AM while you’re dealing with a hungry newborn who just soiled his entire diaper and nightgown, not to mention the t-shirt you have on). Can refer to a person, place, or thing – and for the foreseeable future, it’s the most appropriate way to describe my current state of affairs!