15,000 local volunteers used, abused and issued XXXL-size-fits-all uniforms and told to pay to have them adjusted – thanks for coming!

$17+ billion of taxpayer wealth squandered on one-off use venues, army of bureaucratic fat cats and consulting hangers-on.

Opening and closing ceremonies shunned Queenslanders and treacherously outsourced to Boston-based Jack Morton Wordwide – pockets $47m. It just so happens that Peter Beatie was mates with CEO Josh McCall while Beatie was in Boston at biotech conferences in 2012 and 2013 as a fake biotech professor with the University of Queensland.

Australians rate both ceremonies the worst ever – royal patrons bored as. Charles on whisky tasting next day to recover.

Aborigines hatefully dominated as if pre-1788 dreaming – Lefties issued with permit to set up ‘Camp Sovereignty’ favela on The Spit.

As if the Opening Ceremony excluded Aborigines? It was all ‘Spot da White Fella’.

Transport chaos outsourced to Wangaratta Coachlines which got lost and took the athletes walkabout.

Issuing 14,000 tickets to the opening ceremony with the wrong date printed (Thursday instead of Wednesday), then hundreds of tickets to weightlifting, table tennis and the triathlons that were printed with an incorrect session time. Beatie quipped “suck it up”.

Closing Ceremony: Athletes seated in darkness before the TV broadcast, then more indoctrination as audiences cop back-to-back boring speeches, so the athletes sneak out and go home in disgust leaving stadium half empty. Nasty bitch Katie Noonan throws “volunteer rates” pittance at the music performers as a ‘thanks for coming’ gesture.

Former colonial negros let in without ankle bracelets – 13 still on the run.