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It wont be easy but I ll try to explain what I mean by this - and *really* hope you have experienced it too and can relate to it. Its about what happends to my internal voice/dialogue/thoughts while on mushrooms.

Normally, my thoughts are just in form of sentences, made of words, and - so to speak - flow forward in a linear fasion. But while peaking on enough big dose of mushrooms I have noticed it changes. It becamed clearer on higher doses what is happening, yet still I dont understand it and not fully remember. Let me explain:

Its like Im unable to think a sentence - and period, im done with it. Instead Im thinking in something i can only describe as half-thoughts or shadow thoughts - that dont come linear one after another, but rather are in form of blocks that are repeatting and in each cycle there is a little of progression, but at the same time there seem to be a problem remembering previous block, so it may result in realising again and again that, for example - i wanted to move - and finally the block-cycle moves forward enough that i become aware that im thinking now for some time about moving and I move...

Maybe another way of explaining this will be better, its from my first higher dose trip report:

* I realised something wired is going on with my thoughts, but i just couldnt put my finger on it... I felt like something new happened im my mind but couldn`t figure it out. And I realised that I`m realising it again and again, but making progress every time. It`s like my thoughts were in some spiral, every turn thinking simillar thought but each time moving a little forward. And finally, I knew what happend. For the first time, I`v stopped to use words in thinking COMPLETLY. I could see in my mind something I can only describe as shadows of the words, but i couldn`t reach any of this words.*

The problem is, on higher doses, it makes it difficult to actually decide about something, or realise something, and it sort of becomes too much... The worst is its form - of cycle or spiral, and its so hard to go anywhere with thoughts... Is it a sign that its too strong trip for keeping my ego still present? As I understand it, the internal comentator, thoughts, are result of an ego and indeed while liberated from ego on a psytrance festival I was free from that internal voice... But on mushrooms it seems allmost like a technical problem - are ther any solutions to this, to free from this cycle, loop? Iv tried mantra but dont remember it working great... And finally, do you understand what I mean, and can relate/share your stories?

This is something that is bugging me for a long time and partly keeps me from going into high dose session without having this "technical" difficulty solved - it seems like I couldnt make it with this cycle in "ON MODE" on a high dose trip.

I know exactly how it feels, like your thoughts can't keep on going because you keep forgetting what the root of the thought was.

It's like your thoughts are making a fire work effect with thoughts coming in all directions about all types of things.

This could be because your brain is processing ALOT more information and your thoughts are trying to keep up.

"Holy shit I'm tripping.... this is crazy... i want to eat something... (stands up to get some food), why am I standing... I don't like standing... (sits down)... oh man this feels cool... shit this is alot... this it too much... oh fuck I over did it... i'm scared... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This couch is crazy.... I'm sinking into it... it's eating me... WTF!!... this is what it's like to be crazy!!!.... AHHHH!!!! Where am I going... when does it end... how do I get back... when I am ever back?... I'm lost!! *looks at hands*...."

and so this keeps on going until you start coming down and your thoughts begin to piece together the pieces to the puzzle... and it is the best feelign in the world...

This was basicaly what my first trip was, I tripped nicely off 3 grams but it was great!!

i thikn i get what your talking about after a ton of pot. for me its like i get chunks or periods of my life all at once, then have a bit of time to dwell on it and figure it out. sorta like a daychavue (sp? sorry) it comes like right NOW and you know you know it and it happened adn you think about it and then the next one comes and the other is compleely gone untill you hit another period that seems the same but you have a hunch iot isnt.

--------------------The seeds you won't sow are the plants you dont grow.

Just tell yourself that you are tripping on shrooms and that you can control your mind. If you find your thoughts begin to spiral, just remember to REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE TRIPPING ON SHROOMS AND THAT YOU HAVE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND. If your thoughts are focused on this it will help on your way to the peak. I find it hard to control when you are fully peaking on higher doses, but the peak is just so amazing I simply love it!

Try eating less, you will have alot more control of your mind if you're experienced enough.