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Friday, February 10, 2012

It's just been one of those weeks!!!

This week has been such a trying week. My son has been struggling with socializing for as long as I remember - an unfortunate effect of his disability. I am trying everything I can, visiting numerous doctors, counselors, therapists, etc. in an effort to help him be successful. Despite these efforts, he continues to have difficulties.
He is in a very small, intensive behavior modification class at school. He has very patient teachers and therapists, working diligently every day to help him learn better strategies to cope with his frustrations and social skills, but it seems he is getting worse with each passing day (He is 11 now, and has taken to using profanity directed toward the teacher, running out of the classroom or from other adults, refusing to attempt his school work, etc). When I talk to him about his behavior, he finds ways to try and justify it in his own mind - things he thinks makes it okay. It isn't okay! I've tried everything, from positive approaches such as "earning" something, to taking every single thing out of his room except a bed (this week he wasn't able to attend the science fair award ceremony or attend the Valentine dance at school). No matter what I try, I can't seem to find something that matters enough to help him change. He just doesn't make the connection between his actions and the consequences.
He is a genuinely caring child, so amazingly sweet and loving at times. I know he doesn't get up each day planning ways to make everyone around him stressed and frustrated, I know he wants to do better. He even tells me each day, "Mom, I'm going to have a good day today!" But then something happens - and he doesn't.
I was so overwhelmed this week, sadden by my inability to make things better for him. The doctor wants to add another med...I wish I knew of a better answer. I wish I knew how to make him understand that HE is responsible for his choices, and that HE has the power to change them...it's so hard watching him continuously struggle to fit in, to find his place.