How To: Be The Cool Uncle (At Christmas)

How To: Be The Cool Uncle (At Christmas)

Don’t be overly available

Treat the kids like you would treat a woman you just started dating: Be slightly aloof. Let them know that you have other things on your plate besides them. Don’t follow them around asking if they want to show you their fort or Barbie Dream House. This projects neediness. Kids don’t need that kind of stress. They can barely take care of themselves, let alone your lonely ass. Let them come to you. Then, don’t overstay your welcome. Leave on the early side — letting everyone know that you have other holiday blowouts to attend.

Give them your info

Don’t give them your Facebook account; that brings you down to a weird childlike level. Plus, that’s just creepy. However, give them your e-mail or cell phone number. Let them know that if they ever have a question or just want to chat, they can give you a holler. Just be sure that’s cool with the parents because if they suddenly find tons of unknown e-mails to you, that will give you a "to catch a predator” vibe. As they grow older, they will no doubt come to you with questions about sex, drugs and general stuff they’re not comfortable asking their parents about. You’ll be an exciting source of information for them, but know where to draw the line. Don’t try to be too cool and let a drinking problem or credit card craze go unnoticed. Know when to do something totally uncool: Tell the parents.

bob's your cool uncle

Those steps will make you forever infamous in one child’s mind. You will stand above that English teacher who made a real difference or that football coach who taught the true meaning of confidence. Plus, for purely selfish reasons, you’ll get a true taste of parenting. That will let you know if you want kids of your own, or if you just want to keep mooching off others’ parenting experiences.