I'm Dreaming of a blue Christmas Just like the ones we used to know With the Mancs in trouble Us chasing the double And the Kopites a division down below. I'm dreaming of a Blue Christmas With every facebook post I write May our days be merry and bright And may all their Christmases be shite.

I'm dreaming of a new owner A Toffee multi-billionaire Where with pots of money We buy back Rooney And shave off all his Mancy hair I'm dreaming of some Wembley finals A Champions League campaign or two So a merry Christmas to you And may all your Christmases be blue.