Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Winter Traditions

I'd call it Christmas traditions, but that's not really what this post is about. Its about my annual look at myself that seems to happen about this time of year. Not sure if its because its the end of a year and the start of another, or if its the cozy, Northwest winter settling in, or what. But it happens every year. I suppose you could say I start to think of New Year's Resolutions, but I don't think of them that way. Its like I start to peel off the layers of my heart and soul and remember little bits and pieces of myself that I've forgotten. I remember that I want to be really connected to each of my kids hearts, and not just managing the group, and our collective schedules and needs.

I remember that I want to not just be a "Christian" but to actually have a relationship with Christ, His Word, and live in quiet, mindful contemplation of the awesome-ness of the fact that that is even possible. I remember that I'm a good writer, and I could do a lot more with that if I just sit down and do it. I remember that I like good books, and feel better when I know there's one waiting for me on my bedside table. I want to be creative and free to be "me" and not just "mom", though that is a wonderful part of being me. I feel myself daring to peek at the dusty, cobwebbed corners of my mind where I've tucked my wildest dreams and some ordinary ones too. So, here's to my winter tradition of discovering myself, all over again.