Friday, August 21, 2015

Do you
have a nickname or what do your friends call you?tambo. Yes, with a lowercase
't'. ;)catt dahman was another “No, really,
lowercase.” interviewee.Maybe you two
should be imaginary friends?Maybe we already are, and we hang out with k.d. lang at her ranch on
weekends. You never know. ;)I tried to Google pictures of her ranch
but nothing came up.I bet she has a
really nice ranch though.Yeah, I imagine so.Open, stunning,
and minimalist.

Birthplace:Des Moines, Iowa

Current
hometown:I'd rather not say - had enough
stalkers, thanks anyway. Let's just admit to Northwest Iowa.That’s vague enough to give them
pause.Iowa’s a pretty big state.Outside of a few smallish cities, it’s very
rural with miles and miles of nothing but corn or soybean fields, as far as the
eye can see, with maybe a grain tower to mark the location of a teeny town like
ours.As far as I know, I'm the only
tambo in all of Iowa.At least my
real-life name is very common.There are
plenty of Joneses and I blend in
well.

Favorite
city and why?To be honest here, I don't
really like cities.I'm a rural and
small town gal at heart, and the crowds, noise, pollution, chaos, and close-in
(not to mention tall) buildings are alien to me.I never really relax in a city.That said, I did *mostly* enjoy Boston when I
visited it a few years ago, because it was both very pedestrian accessible and
the wharf and coastal tour rocked.Being
from Iowa, we don't have wharfs, or oceans. ;)Sometimes I forget that most of the
country isn’t coastal.I’ve lived by the
ocean all of my life, so I take it for granted that if you drive long enough
the land ends in water.Coastal living is fascinating and alien to me.I might enjoy living on an island off the New
England, or Pacific Northwest coast somewhere, unless it stinks of fish guts
and such.Do small coastal communities
smell like bait?Innsmouth is reputed to have a distinctly
fishy miasma about it.But for the most
part the coast just smells like sea air.Salt water and sand.Unless you
go to where the fishing boats dock.Then
it’s pretty fishy.Saltwater and sand sounds lovely. Here, it smells like manure and growing,
green things. Not always the best scents, but it's home.I know that smell.At least the manure and fertilizer part.I’ve driven across Pennsylvania in the summer
time and I had to tie a cologne-sprayed rag across my face if I wanted to drive
with the windows down.My husband's uncle was a hog farmer and whenever we smell manure, we say,
"smells like money."

Age:I'll be 51 in June.

How
would you describe yourself physically?Tall, sturdy, and openly
friendly with pale, ruddy skin, bluish eyes, and red tinged blonde hair. I come
from British rural working class stock and it shows with my complexion and
'peasant' build.

How
would someone else describe you physically?Tall. Everyone always remarks
that I'm tall. Intimidating, maybe?How’s the air up there?It's all right. I can see a long way and reach high stuff. Bonking my head kind of sucks, though.

The
first thing people notice about you is…I laugh a lot, am creatively
boisterous, and tend to talk loudly, mostly due to nervousness around
people.I am soooooo introverted, but I
can put on a hat and pretend I'm not.Also, I apparently have bright, sparkly, expressive eyes. (Since I had
utterly no idea, I took a poll.)

Sexual
orientation?Delightfully married.

Religion,
if any?Non-conformist deist.Believe in God, very solidly
anti-religion.I don't do church except
for occasional weddings and funerals, but I do love to visit them and poke
around.Old churches are usually beautiful
examples of what can happen when zeal and architecture cross paths.YES!They're so gorgeous
structurally, all the little details and workmanship, the light... I love old
churches.Modern ones don't have the
same atmosphere of reverence and awe.They sure don’t.

Are you
superstitious at all? Any phobias?Not particularly superstitious,
but I do have a falling phobia, even minor distances, like sliding off a chair
I'm sitting on.Freaks me the hell
out.People laugh, and it's rather
embarrassing.As an odd note, I actually
*like* spiders.

Do you
smoke/drink? If so, what? Any bad habits?I chew my fingernails - it's a
nervous habit I've had since I was a kid - and I cuss, likely too much.I 'smoke' a pork shoulder every once in a
while (if you consider slathering it with rub and slow roasting it for about 14
hours smoking) and I drink a lot of unsweetened iced tea!As long as you don’t try chewing other
people’s fingernails you can probably get by.My great grandmother used to say the same thing, along with “all's well as
long as you don't answer yourself” when I'd talk to myself.

Do you
have any special skills?I am a competition level quilt
piecer - that's the part where all the little pieces are sewn together in a
pattern - and I especially like making little quilts. I can cook Thanksgiving
dinner for 22 people all by myself and have everything ready at the same time
(hot stuff hot, cold stuff cold). Oh! I can calculate sales tax in my head
faster than most places do with a cash register or calculator.There are quilt competitions?Why yes there are! Some (like the one in Paducah Kentucky, the Houston
show, or the world show) have thousands of dollars in prizes. Most shows are
much smaller, and winners get ribbons and maybe fabric, thread, or notions.
They're mostly for fun and showing off your mad quilting skills.

Did you
go to college and, if so, what for?Yep! Started as a Veterinary
Medicine/Chemistry double major, then Med Lab Tech, then Graphic Design. I have
a BA in graphic design, but a pretty intense science background. I'd be a
professional student if it'd keep the lights on and the fridge full.

If you
went to college, did you manage to pay off your student loans?Finally finished them off last
year, all that debt for a degree I no longer use. I don't know how the current
crop of students will manage.

Any
pets? If so, what are they and what are their names?Four cats (by age) Abbie,
Puufy, MeowMeow and Peanut, plus a neurotic Lab mix named Gozer.I live with four cats too!One of them is named Gozer.I think that he identifies as something else
though because he doesn’t really know how to cat.Should his name have been Vinz Clortho? I seem to recall him not knowing
how to be a keymaster.I changed his name to Church, like the
cat from Pet Sematary.He seems to like
that one better.Church was a cool cat, especially with the missing fur. ;)

What is
your favorite animal?I'd have to go with cats of any
kind.Even stray cats like me.

Speaking
of pets, any pet peeves?Asshats. It's not that tough to
be polite, why be a dick?

What is
the best thing that ever happened to you?Meeting my husband, then our
daughter and granddaughter.

What is
the worst thing that ever happened to you?I'd rather not go into that in
a public forum, but I will say it gave me three stints in therapy.

Ever
had your heart broken? Is there a story worth telling behind your answer?I think almost everyone's had their
heart broken. I've lost some pets through the years that still really hurt.

Ever
broken someone’s heart? Is there a story worth telling behind your answer?Not that I know of, but I guess
it's possible.

What is
the best thing you’ve ever done?I try to consistently help
people, be generous, kind, etc.My
husband and I have volunteered, donated money we couldn't afford, have offered
up a spare couch or bed for friends, family, and acquaintances, have been
foster parents, taken in rescue animals... We both tend to show up and
help.I can't think of one thing that
would rise up to be 'best'.

What is
the worst thing you’ve ever done?When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade,
I wrote some bad words on the chalkboard behind the projector screen.I'm still not sure why, but I did it.A troublemaking classmate got blamed for it
and me, being me, told the teacher I'd done it, not him.She didn't seem to believe me, but there was
nothing more I could do.Since then, I
try very hard not to do 'bad things'.If
I do screw up, I admit it and try to make things right.What did you write in the chalkboard?Words I currently use far too much.Fuck, shit, damn.I might have
had cunt in there too, I can't remember for sure.

If you
could kill one person, consequence free, who would it be and why?I almost killed a friend of my
dad's once. Threatened to, anyway. So him. He died a few years ago from natural
causes, though, so I'm off the hook for that one.

What do
you do?I slaughter people on paper for
money.People always blink at me when I
say that.

How did
you get started doing what you do?I've been a writer since I was
a small child, but my stories started to take a turn around middle school,
evolving into the dark, quirky, violent, tales I write now.

What is
your advice to other people that want to get started doing what you do?Read a lot, write a lot, and
understand verbs.They're key.

What
are some of the projects you’ve worked on/finished in the past? Give us a
little history if you will.I'll just list the published
titles. My moldering stack of early crap isn't worth discussing, finished or
not.The
Dubric Byerly Mysteries - Ghosts in the Snow - Bantam, 2004Threads of Malice - Bantam, 2005Valley of the Soul - Bantam, 2006FIRE - indi-pubbed short story, 2006Other
Works -Endorphins - indi-pubbed short story,
2007SID - indi-pubbed short story, 2007Morgan's Run (out on submission) -
2011SPORE - Samhain, 2015

What
projects are you working on now?I have a spec thriller titled SLIPPAGE, a 4th Dubric novel titled Stain of Corruption, A GhoulBane graphic
novel, and a SPORE screenplay in the
works.

What
are you watching?I don't watch much TV, and we
don't have cable, Hulu, or Netflix, so right now it's just Big Bang Theory and
Blue Bloods. I watched Alien and Aliens last weekend on DVD. Go Ripley!Those first two Alien movies are so
good!I make it a point to re-watch them
at least a couple times a year just to remind myself what watching a great film
feels like.Us too. Plus The Princess Bride is a repeating treat. I really like Grand
Torino a lot too. Eastwood's really hit his stride as a director.

What
are you listening to?I have an eclectic mix of pop,
blues, and classic rock playing in the background of Zombies, Run!

What
are you reading?Derelict, by L.J. Cohen. It's been on my TBR
pile for too long, but it was the book I randomly grabbed after finishing The Dark Servant by Matt Manochio

Favorite
author / book?The
Stand by Stephen King, the original
1978 version. I try to read it every summer.

Favorite
band / song?It depends on the day. Right
now, I'll go with P!nk's Fuckin' Perfect,
but I have pretty varied music tastes. If I can sing to it, it's likely on my
iPod, except for...

Least
favorite band / song?I don't do country music. Nope,
uh uh, no way. Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt a long time ago.Hank Williams Sr. & Johnny Cash are
all you really need to know about country anyhow.Everything else is just more broken hearts
and spilled drinks.Yeah, and losing your dog and woman on a train with your truck. ;)You know what happens when you play a
country record backwards?Life's great and you get all your stuff back?You heard that one before.

If you
could do anything other than what you do now, what would you do?Sleep. I can really use some
sleep.

Who
would you want to meet that you haven’t met? You get three choices:
Alive. Dead. Fictional.
Alive, I'd like to meet more of my reading and writing friends I only know
online, and of them, wow, only one?? Lisa Cohen. She's awesome. But there are a
lot of great people on the list. I've met many, but there are many more still
to meet!
Dead, Thomas Jefferson. I've always been a fan and it'd be nice to settle the
church/state issue.
Fictional, Sister Husband from Where The
Heart Is by Billie Letts

What’s the
best and worst job you’ve ever had?Besides being a wife, mom,
writer, quilter, and cat wrangler? ;) The best was probably working for the
Iowa Beer and Liquor department, mostly because the pay was excellent and I
worked alone, but the state privatized liquor stores and obliterated my
department, so I was laid off. Boo! Worst... I created artwork for a battery
supplier and it was four years of crap pay, soul crushing corporate drama, and questionable
deplorable business ethics. I have never been so happy to leave a place as I
was when I walked out of there. Despite being unemployed and broke, I laughed
all the way home.

Are
there any questions that I didn’t ask that you wished I had asked that you
would like to answer now?You didn't ask me about my fabric
collection, or what wall I beat my head against before breaking through to
writing sellable prose. ;) The elephant in the room is probably why does a nice
gal like me write such violent books?Why does a nice gal like you write such
violent books?Because of childhood trauma. It seemed to be a good way to vent off the
anger and PTSD. It worked well for a long time. Now that my brain's fixed
(third stint in therapy was the charm!) I keep doing it because, well, fans,
and because I don't know what else to write.

Anyone
you recommend I interview that you can put me in touch with?YES! I'd like to point you
toward authors Aaron Bunce, AR Miller, and LJ Cohen.I’m game if they are.I shall point them in your general direction immediately!

Got any
questions for me?How did you come up with such a
varied set of questions, and how many of these questions have you answered
yourself? Also, how in the hell did you get that honey badger into a barrel?I came up with the First-Pass
Questionnaire through trial and error.Originally it was based on a character survey I created for a
post-apocalyptic zombie epidemic epic-length book project I’m working on.When I decided to start doing interviews, I
added some questions and started with that.I’ve done almost 200 interviews for this blog, so I refined the
questionnaire figuring out which questions worked and which didn’t.My intention is to give interviewees a list
of jumping off points to provide interesting answers to so we can have an
interesting conversation.Sometimes it
works.Sometimes it doesn’t.
How many of the questions have I answered?All of them.Getting the badger into the barrel was
the easy part.Now if only I can figure
out how to get it back out again.Yeah, once they're in they do tend to hunker down for the long haul. Damn
badger squatters! Maybe next time you should use a better lid?

About the Interviewee:Award-winning author of the
Dubric Byerly Mysteries (Bantam Spectra), and the new SF/Horror novel SPORE
(Samhain Publishing), Tamara Jones started her academic career as a science
geek, earned a degree in art, and, when she's not making quilts or herding
cats, writes grisly thrillers as Tamara Jones and Tamara Siler Jones. Despite
the violent nature of her work, Tam's easygoing and friendly. Not sick or
twisted at all. Honest. Visit her online at http://www.tamara-jones.net
Tamara is represented by Laura Bradford at Bradford Literary Agency.