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The Naked Truth, Vol. 30

Oct 04th 2012

My teenage daughter will not discuss any part of her love life with me. I know she is starting to date and hangs out with guys, but I cannot get her to open up. In this world nowadays, I think it’s important for me to have an idea of what’s going on. –Mom

Dear Mom, this is a topic close to my heart as I have a freshly minted teen of my own. There is a fine line between letting them go through the growing pains of becoming an adult and being overly restrictive to the point you push them away. As a parent, you absolutely must make your child’s business a full time priority. Set the guidelines early on and do not waiver. My son knows there is no debating the fact that I need to know his whereabouts, the kids involved, and I must speak to the parents to confirm everyone is in the know.

But as far as her telling you secrets, accept now that she is going to withhold information from you. It’s hard to come to terms with, but figuring things out themselves is also part of growing up. Do, however, keep the lines of communication open. I find my son shares in the moments I least expect it- in the car, at the dinner table, when I’m saying goodnight. I established a policy this year that I would turn off all work, phones, and distractions from 6pm-9pm every night to have quality time with my son. It has strengthened our relationship and his desire to confide in me. Try setting your own personal time with your daughter and see what develops.

Good luck.

I work as a nurse in a hospital and my fellow co-workers are not-so-secretly trying to get me to bump into this new, young doctor. I’m interested, but have not had a chance to meet him yet. I occasionally see him in the coffee shop downstairs before my co-workers arrive, but don’t know how to spark up conversation. What should I say? --Code Blue

Code, I’m a firm believer in allowing the man to make the first move. Particularly in a work situation, you could come off as extremely aggressive. But, I don’t think it will seem anything but friendly if you just begin a casual conversation. Since you’ve seen him a few times, it’s acceptable to say hi and introduce yourself citing the fact that you’ve notice he’s the new guy. From there, it really is in his court to make any moves. If a few weeks go by and there’s nothing but small talk in the coffee shop, it’s acceptable to have a mutual friend put in a good word for you.

So I recently went out to a restaurant bar and started chatting up this really great, handsome man. We ending up sitting down and grabbing dinner and ended the impromptu date with a shy kiss. We exchanged numbers and he called, asking me out again. At the end of our second date (which was wonderful), he confesses he is married. Married!! I left him standing there, but he is still texting me, and I may have texted him back. I’m trying to process this all in my head at warp speed. I’m young(ish), single, childless and happy. Could I be the other woman? –Help

Dear 911, you’re not the other woman unless you allow yourself to be. I suggest you delete his number now. Yes, right now. Anything outcome other than you immediately cutting off contact with this man spells disaster and turns your now happy state into one of anguish and long-suffering.

On her popular blog, www.essentiallyangela.com, divorced single mom Angela Lutin dispenses musings on life, raising a teen, navigating the single scene, and tips to stay sexy regardless of your age or relationship status. A social media addict, she recently launched her new weekly Twitter conversation @essentiallyang—aptly titled #sexychat—that answers dating, sex-related topics and anything in between. Angela’s "Naked Truth" dating advice column appears weekly on Bocamag.com and also exclusively in Boca Raton magazine. Follow Angela on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/EssentiallyAngela or Twitter, https://twitter.com/essentiallyang.