MANGRY. That’s Mad + Angry. And Now I’m Mangry for having to Explain MANGRY.

I was going to write a post.

I was going to tell you all about the awesome four day weekend I had this weekend just past.

I was going to tell you about bookstores and masturdating and parks and recreation and old fucks and Buddha by the rhododendron and fishing and fiction.

But no.

No.

I can’t do that right now.

Because fuck me, that’s why.

I let the doc put me on geodon. It’s an antipsychotic. Hear me out. I had it on good authority that it could, in fact, help with the mixed episodes I’ve been experiencing a lot lately.

Problem is…turns out I’m allergic to the shit. Severely.

I’ve been throwing up for 2-3 days straight, no chaser. Seriously. I chased it with anti-vomityourgutsup juice, and I vomited the anti-vomityourgutsup juice out.

Big ass rash spreading across the back of my neck.

Bubbles on my arm (blister).

Dizziness and worsening headache.

Confusion. Randomly stopping myself mid-thought or even mid-sentence.

Itching.

Massive edema.

Fucking. (Yeah right. No such luck.)

Torn up guts.

Itching. Did I mention this COOKIEMONSTERFORSAKEN ITCHING?! MOTHERFUCK, I ITCH.I’d pay somebody to scratch my itch, but I think that’s called solicitation.

Anyway. The one thing it geodon DIDN’T fuck with, clearly, is my ragingly filthy mind. So there’s that. And also my cookiediction. Me want cookies. Now. (Also. May I borrow someone’s kids so I can “not” teach them this lesson by what is obviously The Real Cookie Monster, please stand up?)

The one thing I DIDN’T get as a side effect was the heart-racing arrhythmia. It’s a damn good thing, because if that box had gotten ticked, he was going to have to admit me. My heart was not only NOT racing, it was lower than he’s ever recorded it. 42. I think? OH MY GOD, MY HEART IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?! I KNEW IT!

Anyturtles. My GP said I met every single other criterion for the Rare and Severe reactions. Yay me!

A man once told me I was rare. Now I know what he meant. RARE AND SEVERE AND FUCKED UP.

I kid.

Mostly.

Except I don’t kid. You kid. Keep the kids over there. Because I’m MANGRY.

Because.

Because.

On top of forvomigen, the nausea med he gave me that doesn’t work, he also gave steroids. Lots and lots of steroids that I have to take for six fucking days.

He asked if I had any issue taking short-term steroids to stop my allergic responses and wipe out the rash. I said no, except Hulk. He was mildly puzzled, then laughed when I said YOU know….then I made rage face and said Hulk Angry! Only some of that actually happened. I’ll let you work it out.

So I’m on steroids for a week. And I’m sweating and angry and itching and sore. AND NOT FOR ANY OF THE FUN REASONS.

And I can’t make my brainhole focus on the things I WANTED to write about.

Fucking fuckstick douchecanoe handledick. Oooo handledick. New one. That works a myriad of ways, that one.

Anyway. I’m gonna fuck off outta here.

Just wanted to say Hi.

Just wanted to say I’m Pissed Off.

Just wanted to say I Miss You.

Just wanted to say Bye Fuckers, Because ME MANGRY.

Oh. And for what it’s worth? Either I was on one of my upswings already, or geodon was actually helping me. Because starting the drug coincided with the start of a major uptick in my moods and mindset. So. Let’s hope it wasn’t the geodon. Because now I’m pissed that I can’t take it anymore. WAAAAAAH. Look at me. Crying like a bitch. MANGRY.

P.S. If that mangry music isn’t your thing, mute it and watch. Because Sully Erna is in Fine Fucking Form here. Shirtless. Shoeless. Perfect jeans. Yum. You know what? I’ll take my steroids with a side of Sully. (Unfortunately, that’s the only good part of the video. The rest of it is wrestling or boxing or nascar or some other lame shit where grownass boys beat each other up for money.) (Hey, don’t start in on me! I told you I’m mangry! It’s in the title! FUCKING STEROIDS. GRAWR.) (But now I’m sleepy and itchy and mangry and hungry and sweaty and ARRGGGHHHHHHH I SAID GOOD DAY!)

HAHAHA! Oh HIM! I forgot his name. It’ll come to me. No way in hell did I touch that little fucker. I learned my lesson the hard way with one of his ilk when I was a child. The venom that moves through those spikes and into you makes you go numb, stiff and swollen. Sounds like Viagra. Hmm. Wonder what that shit’s made of.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FOTC has finally sold out! They still had tix earlier this week. But no one wanted to go with me. Story of my life. I’m going to Modest Mouse by myself next week. Fuck it! 🙂 Another masturDate.

You had an encounter with one of THOSE when you were a child?!! Man, you had the most traumatic childhood of anyone I know!
Perhaps Queen Bitch could benefit from a close encounter with that badass little mofo!

I agree. It’s part of why I stay semi-anonymous here. So I can let it all hang out. Sometimes I surprise even myself, though. 😉

I’m new to masturdating. But I’m digging it. Last weekend movies and park and bookstore. I need to come up with something for this weekend. Perhaps another midday movie when it’s cheap because I’m a miser. Or the park to write some more. That was a treat. But next week, the concert! Then a pub crawl with a chick who invited me out with her girl crew. Panicking about it. But I’m gonna do it!

Oh, jeez. I had some antidepressant do that to me as a kid, and of course my family thought it was a good idea to let me start it on a road trip to Grandma’s so you can imagine what hell THAT was.
Hopefully the drug hell ends soon! I wish I had some advice for getting out of it but, despite my unnaturally long history with drugs gone wrong, hating life and getting mangry is about all I’ve got. /:

Welcome to the stupid reactions to medication group, where the medication you’re supposed to take makes you sick, and the meds you shouldn’t take regularly (benzos) are the only ones that help.
Our slogan is
‘Medicated for your protection only’

God. I know. I’m sick of the meds already. I also know I’m back in the pit. Could be the med being gone. Could be me going way outside my introvert comfort zone Friday. Could be part of my rapid cycling. Definitely in a mixed fucking episode right now. Hyper and energetic, but mad. And also just want to crawl into the closet. Blows.

Physically I developed a rash.
Mentally, I absolutely plummeted to right back where I was before I started seeking therapy. Worse, really. Not only did I resume suicidal ideation, but it was all consuming.
She told me it wasn’t the Lamictal…so I rode it out for a couple of weeks, and it just got worse and worse until she had me get off of it.

Damn.
I’ve been there. Several times. After being there several times, I’ve come to fear all new medication in a paranoid way.
Steroids and cookies go well together. Don’t forget to scratch up against some fitness equipment.
*pats hand*

that sucks about the medication. I don’t know what to say. Thanks for posting even if it is the last thing you feel like doing. xxx You are a tough cookie but remember to rest too xxx your health is number one to anything else- as you probably know already x

Haha, I’m not sure if this is appropriate but this post made me laugh… It’s probably not what you want to hear from me, seeing as laughing at someone who is MANGRY is like being entertained at someone else’s expense. But good word though. I’ve so far only heard of FUNGRY (Fucking Hungry) or FANGRY (Fucking Angry).