When someone matters to you, tell them.

A note in my inbox was the first news I had of the sudden death of an acquaintance. We weren’t that close, but I enjoyed chatting with him; we talked about sailing and the Grateful Dead music. I didn’t really know him that well.

I went outside to reflect on my relationship with him. I remembered I had told him things I liked about him, as well as things I didn’t. I had happy memories of our conversations. I paid my final respects, said my goodbyes, reflected on my own mortality and went on with my day.

Everyone else seemed to be really shocked, even though they knew him even less than I did. They were all talking about this guy—the good things about him, the sadness of losing him, and how great a person he had been. Emails started circulating, listing his achievements and good deeds.

Strangely, I felt sadder to witness these reactions than I was about his death itself. While he was alive, I don’t think anyone told him how much he was appreciated, or how important he was to them. Now, faced with his death, everyone was paying tribute to this “great man,” and he wasn’t even there to hear it.

Why is that we only properly celebrate people after they have died?

Death is sudden. A heartbeat away, but life is even closer. I was very young when I first encountered the awareness of mortality; everyone is a sand timer—grains slipping away, who knows how few are left…

About Anna Sheinman

Anna is a passionate yoga student, a teacher, an outdoor enthusiast, a foodie, a bookworm, and an amateur writer who is hopelessly in love with the Rocky Mountains. She is 800+ hours registered yoga teacher and she continues to study with her teacher Chase Bossart in the tradition of T. Krishnamacharya. Anna has been fortunate to study with Mr. Desickchar, Gary Kraftsov and AG Mohan. She enjoys hiking, dancing, skiing, rock climbing, good company, and the vastness of the mountains. Anna currently teaches yoga around the Boulder City area and organizes outdoor yoga retreats, where she teaches in her favorite studio - at top of the mountain. Anna’s life transformation has inspired her to help others on the journey to create healthier and happier lives through the exploration of yoga. Read more about Anna and connect with her on FB or via e-mail: streamoflifeyoga@gmail.com.

3643203 Responseshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.elephantjournal.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fcelebrate-life-before-death%2FCelebrate+Life+Before+Death.2012-07-08+18%3A58%3A51Anna+Sheinmanhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.elephantjournal.com%2F%3Fp%3D364320 to “Celebrate Life Before Death.”

wanted to share a few FB comments:
Rachel Mann: We should be sad but not for a very long time, we should be bhappy for people… they went home. It means that they colse the circle and this part of they karma is finished. Death is not a deth per say its a new beginning… and we are still hear, trying to figure out which way to go and where to turn:-)

myself: after I finished writing it, I thought about re-writing it…I was thinking of the Bhagavad Gita, where Krishna told Arjuna: "the wise don't mourn for dead or for living" and then it goins something about body being a just like a dress for a spirit…Neither is this (embodied self) born nor does it die…for the born death is certain; for the dead there is certainly birth..