Friday, October 2, 2009

BSNYC Frinary Fun Quiz!

I am a person of many phobias: revolving doors, rabid monkeys, and distracted yogurt salesmen are just a few things of which I live in constant fear. Another thing I'm afraid of is that clothing companies will stop building promotional bicycles. Surely, if the constant procession of such bicycles were to end it would herald some catastrophe in the same way a dead canary might indicate a gas leak. Fortunately, we appear to be safe for now, as a reader has forwarded me yet another fashion bike:

I was especially taken with the wheels, which apparently feature "hammer marks." This can only mean that Mavic is now taking its test wheels and rebranding them as "fashionably distressed:"

Meanwhile, just because Cadel Evans is now the World Champion of the World, this does not mean that he is finished complaining. The truth is, Evans is an artistic genius whose medium is the complaint, and a reader has forwarded me the following Tweet which indicates that he is already incorporating his victory into his extensive yet intricate tapestry of kvetching:Not only that, but I also noticed that demands on Evans's time are now such that he can't even ride his bike:

This is clearly a bold attempt to appropriate Levi Leipheimer's old "Let Levi Ride" campaign, which he (or, rather, The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company) subsequently scrapped once justice was done and Leipheimer was finally allowed to unleash his devastating conservative riding upon the peloton once again. Still, that first album was classic:

As unsettling as this may seem to the "squares," I'd still rather share the road with him than with that yogurt guy.

Now, in the spirit of following Dennis Hopper's example (with regard to lessons, not psychedelic pantsless dune buggying), I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, take a deep breath, have a friend, loved one, or helper monkey massage your shoulders, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know (and your helper monkey will screech with delight), and if you're wrong you'll get an Australian cycling lesson. (An "Australian cycling lesson" is not a euphemism for getting beaten with a 27.2 seatpost, but it's close.)

As always, thanks very much for reading and for forwarding on items like Australian cycling lessons. Ride safe this weekend, and watch out for workaholic yogurt moguls.

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) A Connecticut inline skater recently flew into a rage because he was forced to share the bike path with:

I don't get the handlebars on the fixies and designer urban bikes; isn't the one-position format an invitation to carpal tunnel? Wait, I remember now, they don't use the handlebars. Ride 'em hand-free so you can work the iPhone and the Garmin--check your heart rate on the poser, er, power meter.

well aw fuck me and ricky was going to take jim bobs pickup truck to chigoco to see them olimpic fellers i wanted to see the roundball and ricky wants to stare at all them gay looking gimnast guys but obama done fucked it all up

that skinny girl sher looks like shes good at rimjobs boy howdy i dont know about that but i guess that pink lube coems with flavors or shes just into blow hey if yall knows where my cosin colleen went to i think shes into that also

I prefer my 1987 Sportif khaki touring shorts because lycra shorts don't have enough pockets for my various multi-tools. I have noticed, however, that they tend to attract unwanted gargantuan Australian TV "personalities." I keep a small taser in the left cargo pocket for that purpose.

...as regards that aussie tv show...the only thing appropriate in that video is the fact that that corpulent boorish moron & her equally corpulent boorish moronic friend have a garbage can as the centerpiece of their set...

...we can joke about it all day long but that ending was way over the top & i hope there are serious fucking network repercussions...

...haul those two slag bitches off the air for not just blatant stupidity but inciting deadly behavior after up front, on air apologies...

Wow, that is one uptight, self-entitled, ignorant, craptastically over the top, Australian douchebag. Drive your car in my back yard? That doesn't make sense in even by her warped, stupid, view of self-centricity.

Media. It thrives on contrast, conflict. With the penetration of cycling into it, it is nessesary to generate conflict. this will continue to happen, wether it is cars vs bikes, luftwaffe vs raf, or chef vs staff.

what comes after reality tv?idol shit.what next. piss everyone off and get them to generate content enirely themselves, and fight for free on tv.

I googled about that Aussie ranter -- apparently she's been forced to recant, and she's gonna do some bike rides as atonement. She didn't seem to realize that people actually are hurt riding bikes, sometimes deliberately! People like Robbie McEwan had some choice words for her; if you can get mild-mannered "turn the other cheek" Robbie worked up, it's gotta be bad.

"I googled about that Aussie ranter -- apparently she's been forced to recant, and she's gonna do some bike rides as atonement. She didn't seem to realize that people actually are hurt riding bikes, sometimes deliberately! People like Robbie McEwan had some choice words for her; if you can get mild-mannered "turn the other cheek" Robbie worked up, it's gotta be bad."

Just noticed your blog has switched syndication styles. I, for one, appreciated having the full post available to view in Google Reader without having to load a new tab for your page. A nit-picky style complaint I know but there you go. If you feel like it you can change it by going to Settings-->Site Feed-->Allow Blog Feeds-->Full. I'll keep reading regardless...kthx!

These anti-cyclist rants by the ass-muffin media clowns play out the same way every time. She's gonna "come to her senses" and make some sappy-assed, heartfelt on-air apology, find religion, go on a dopey-ass and heavily promoted ride accompanied by some local promoter of bike love and all will be forgiven.

We had it play out in totally predictable fashion out here in sunny portland last year with some rush limbaugh-esque blow-hard who was spouting the exact same crap.

...re:- media...i'm certaimly aware of "media's" propensity for sensationalism but here, while the two female "hosts" started out simply mocking cycling culture in a somewhat humorous yet inflammatory manner, they played off each other & it quickly escalated to a point where a blind & ignorant eye was cast towards the fact that people die in bicycle vs motor vehicle confrontations on pretty much a daily basis whether it's purely accidental or the result of some misguided attempt to scare or intimidate cyclists, that goes wrong...

...poor judgment is no excuse when human lives are at stake & particularly when the format is a "humorous" television show...therein lies the crux because it only takes one misguided fool to watch a show like that, misunderstand the intent & become incited in a dangerous manner...it happens & it has been chronicled...

...quite frankly, my own humor can be dark & "questionable" (much more so that on these august pages) but i try to use reasonable judgment as to where & when i utilize that kind of content...

Hello, this is Brian from BikeReviews.com, we wanted to reach out and say hello, and let you know we love the site. If possible, we would love to do a link exchange with you, showing our readers another great source for information. In the process, we hope to establish a friendship between us, so we can work together in the future. Have a great weekend.

Have you covered the hydration fetish? Seriously, both Saturday adn Sunday I'm cycling through my local metropolitan park and I see runners, walkers, and cyclists loaded down like water carriers in the days of old. I spend, mmmmm an hour and a half daily riding, and I carry an empty water bottle just in case I feel like I need to stop somewhere and get water--I see walkers, runners, cyclists with enough water to turn desert lands into oases. Some of these folks look so encumbered I wonder about their comfort. What is this hydration phenomena? And I apologize if this was the subject of a post in the past which I've not caught up yet in reading through the archives.

You need think about it. Despite the emails, the overwhelming evidence showing global warming is happening hasn't changed."The e-mails do nothing to undermine the very strong scientific consensus . . . that tells us the Earth is warming, that warming is largely a result of human activity," Jane Lubchenco, who heads the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, told a House committee. She said that the e-mails don't cover data from NOAA and NASA, whose independent climate records show dramatic warming.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!