Forgive me for I have sinned. It has been over three months since my last workout. I completed P90X and thought surely I would move on to another workout program. This didn't happen. I have no excuse, it just didn't happen. I even thought about calling you up one more time to start over but to be honest I was tired of your jokes and the repetition of the routine. I am sorry to say that. Now that I have been away for so long, I have decided to pull out my P90X DVDs, Meal Plan and Workout Schedules and give it another run. On Monday you will be happy to know that I started P90X strong, and I intend to keep going strong until the final day.

My first run at the program last year was hard. Not only was I overweight but I was truly out of shape. I shouldn't have stayed away for as long as I did. I was so happy to lose the weight I had lost, even though I wished it would have been more. Once I finished my first 90 days, I tried to stay active using my elliptical but let's face it, that machine can be SO boring. I had the best intentions to go ahead and start P90X again right after Halloween. If you're wondering why it's because I had hoped to look 100 times better in my Halloween costume than I actually did. I was determined after that, but apparently not determined enough. The first week of November came and it went, and the second week came, and it went as well, and before I knew it Thanksgiving was upon me. On the plus side, I did get a few compliments from my boyfriend's sister who was in town. She commented on how both Mike and I looked slimmer than we did the year before. This meant a lot to me since she only sees me once a year. My ultimate goal is to blow her away this year when she's in town. But I don't want to get ahead of myself.

After going home for the New Years holiday I discovered two things. I have worked hard and people do notice my drop in weight, but I realize I can't stop here, I have to continue and really hit my goals. I'm still not as confident as I want to be with myself and I still feel like I'm shrinking into the background because of this. That's where you come in. I am crawling back to you and begging you to give me another chance to BRING IT, as you say.

Thankfully even though it's been over three months since my last workout I'm happy to say I've kept the weight off. I fear my muscle mass has suffered from the lack of weight training but I'm happy that I haven't tipped the scales and completely set myself back to the beginning.

Monday was my day 1, as I said. I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be either. I feel stronger than I did the first time, which is the way it should be but I was happy to feel good in the workout, not defeated. Tuesday was hard, I've never been a true fan of Plyo. It hurst my knees, even if I modify my moves, but I pushed through and even worked on the bonus round. My legs hurt, my arms hurt, my chests hurts and at the risk of sounding silly, Tony, my boobs hurt! I want to yell at you and ask you what you're doing to me but in the end it's for my own good. Yesterday was awesome - I'm a huge fan of the arm workouts, you could bring them all day long. What made me even more happy was that I was able to start with a heavier weight this time. I'm not up to the weight I was using when I finished the program last year. It's still a little too heavy, but I can use the second weight I went to after beginning my first round and that makes me excited. I hope to see better results this time around since I can not only push myself a bit harder and lift more but also have the knowledge on how to do all the moves properly and often times without watching the video.

Bottom line is I'm back Tony. I'm back to fight another 90 days in this program and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me of my sins. I'll still have my once a week cheat meal and I'll still bitch to you as loud as I can while I'm doing Ab Ripper, but in the end I know you'll have my back.

So thank you for your time Tony. I promise to BRING IT!

Sincerely, Kelly [the girl with the "sprained" boob]

So there it is ladies n' gents... I'm on day 4 of my second round of P90X. I'm really looking forward to Yoga tonight, because I know in the next few weeks it will probably get on my nerves, but for now it will be exciting and enjoyable. I am hoping that I will be able to do better, push further and do more than I did with my first round of this program. I know I didn't share my final images with you when I completed my first 90 days, and I am sorry about that. To be honest, I wasn't impressed with them, or myself and I was a bit disappointed and slightly embarrassed. Later I realized I just need to give it another try and do the best I can. So I'll be documenting it all here again to hold myself accountable for my actions. I hope the rest of you working on your New Years Goals and Resolutions are doing well and together we can all make it happen for ourselves!!!

Stay tuned for my updates, my bitching and my ups and downs on this program!

I don't want to talk about football today [although I'm extremely excited about it], I want to talk about something more important. An important man is celebrated today and I really don't think I could put it any better than I did last year. So at the risk of seeming a bit lazy this morning, I want to give a link to my post on this topic last year. Martin Luther King, Jr. will always be a huge role model to me. He was an amazing man. Remember him today for all he was, all he did and all he remains to be to each of us that live with a dream in our hearts and love in our souls.

I know we've all been here... I don't know if rut is the right word or if it's just the best one right now. I'm not feeling negative, just like I'm standing still. The holidays are over, and the resolutions and goals have been made. Progress is taking place but since it's so slow it's hard to get overly excited. I have started to knock a few of my goals off my list in the week since I made it so that is progress. I have to remember to update that on my Project 52 page.

That being said, I still feel a bit rut like. Every day it's the same thing. Schedule after schedule. Day after day. Monday - Friday it all stays the same. Wake-up, take a shower, put in my contacts, moisturize my face, brush my teeth, brush my hair, do my hair, do my make-up, wake up Mike if he is still sleeping, take turns feeding the pets, letting the dog outside, let the dog inside, try to find something to wear, get dressed, fixing my usual morning protein shake, say good-bye to the pets, drop Mike off at work, drive to my office and put in a full day at my desk. Not much changes, most things stay the same. Everyday at 5:00 pm I clock out, drive to get Mike, we drive home, unless it's Wednesday, that's payday and we are forced to run to the grocery store [aka Wally World Hell] to get supplies for meals and anything else we need. Once home it's the same song and dance there are always dirty dishes that need to be cleaned, a full dishwasher that needs to be emptied - how the hell do two people make so many dirty freaking dishes? It's mind boggling! If the dishes aren't dirty and the kitchen is actually clean, there's usually a huge pile of clothing that needs to be washed, again I ask how do two people always make at least three loads of laundry per week? We don't have children - I don't know how the hell you full time working moms and dads do it. I applaud you. Some nights I take time to sit down, relax, it's rare, and will be even more rare starting next week - I plan on doing my second trial of P90X and I always workout right after returning home. This may help my rut feeling, since it's something different in the routine of our lives.

After "chores" We make dinner, we eat dinner, we watch a few of our favorite shows, and by 10:30 pm I'm hopefully in bed and sleeping after watching Chelsea Lately... every.... single... night. The only time we deter from this seamless routine is if we have something to do with his family, or when the weekend comes. I look forward to Saturday mornings, to sleep in, to not have to leap out of bed and shower, get ready or be forced into a time table but lately, Saturday mornings don't seem like enough.

My entire life feels routine. Even walking into the office each morning I do the same things, in the same order, to open the shop. Turn on all the computers, the lights, the darkroom, make the coffee, answer the phone if it rings and check my email. It rarely changes - if I'm late for work, people here worry that the worst has happened. An accident, or something of that nature. I'm rarely ever late, I'm usually early. I'm dependable, but at the same time that might make me a bit predictable and at risk of saying it, boring.

Like I said I am not negative about my life, but something in me is feeling like I need to break the cycle even just a little bit. Do many of you stop and feel like you've been living on auto pilot? Lately I feel like someone else is at the wheel and I'm just floating through my responsibilities like a mindless zombie. I'm not sure if this is just what adulthood is all about or if I really do need to shake it up a bit.

Do any of you feel this way? Have similar feelings? And if so what are you doing to switch it up in your life? Maybe we can all help each other.

All this being said - I tend to like to get to bed early, I hate being run down the next day for work, but I also realize I'm only 34, not 84 and it's time to probably stop treating my life like an Early Bird Special and just do something different for a change.

Do you feel stuck in the rat race of life?

[note: this is probably just PMS talking for me, but even if it is I figured I'd get it all out and see what you all have to say... floor is all yours]