Will You Be Your Valentine?

If you’re unattached this year, it’s probably hard to fathom what to do about Valentine’s Day as retail and media forces bombard you with romantic, sappy advertisements and messages. Even more difficult is understanding how to survive the barrage of greeting cards that read, “You complete me” or “Our two hearts beat as one.”

Whether you are unattached by circumstance – or by choice – this February 14th, your first priority is to nurture and love your SELF. The more you neglect your own identity, the more potential relationships will suffer, and the greater the likelihood you will look to a future partner for your self-worth. This is a sure recipe for failure.

The following seven tips are guaranteed to help you make the most of your solo Valentine’s Day this year.

1. Celebrate Being a Whole Person

Stop believing the lie that your life is incomplete without a significant other. While having the right partner is a gift that will enhance you, being individually whole is essential for that to happen.

2. Value Your Own Company

Be your own best date this Valentine’s Day by giving to your SELF. Go buy yourself the chocolates and that something special you have been putting off. You deserve it.

3.Accept The Losses of Relationships Gone Wrong

Be patient. There are plenty of Valentine’s Days in your lifetime to find a loved one and get it right.

4. Get Perspective

It is okay that Valentine’s Day may make you feel sad, but remind yourself that more often than not it’s the flower and candy retailers who benefit most from the day.

5. Find Out What Is Happening With Other Singles

Seek out singles and spend time with your friends and meet new people.

6. Embrace Being Unattached

Remember that you do not need to be part of a couple to be happy. Although the media may not find it fashionable to write about the joys of being unpartnered, there are many happy single people.

7. Tell Someone You Love Them

Do not miss the chance to honor someone who has made a difference in your life.

Author of the recently released book, “Who Am I Without My Partner? Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your SELF,” Deborah Hecker, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist with over 35 years of private practice experience. She received her Master’s Degree from Columbia University and her Ph.D. from The Union Institute. In addition, she is certified as a psychoanalyst and hasextensive training in the following areas: addiction counseling, grief counseling, collaborative practice and mediation. For more information, please visit www.drdeborahhecker.com.

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