Most people don't like to talk about money, but what if it's part of your unhappiness? Often, we avoid looking at our finances because we become so distressed when we do. We avoid talking to our partners. And so it stays the same, or worsens, month after month. It's the stress that doesn't dare speak its name.

It's not just that we avoid talking about money, but we can avoid admitting to ourselves where we are and how much it limits our choices. An honest evaluation of our budgets helps figure out if we're really spending money on what we value most, or if we've stopped making choices at all and are, instead, spending by habit. Possibilities open up: