Ellen Fay remembered by family and through Peninsula School District award

Elln Fay on her 96th birthday in December, 2017, with her beloved grandsons Jack and Andrew Steeber. Ellen texted each of them daily with messages of I love you and positive inspirational comments, according to her daughter Kim Steeber Kim SteeberCourtesy

Elln Fay on her 96th birthday in December, 2017, with her beloved grandsons Jack and Andrew Steeber. Ellen texted each of them daily with messages of I love you and positive inspirational comments, according to her daughter Kim Steeber Kim SteeberCourtesy

Kim Steeber spent a recent spring weekend placing the ashes of her mother, Ellen Fay, with her father’s remains in Gig Harbor. It was a sweet way to say goodbye to someone who made an impact on everyone around her.

“She was well-loved," Steeber said. "She loved to meet people, she always had a smile and was always ready to make people feel welcomed.”

Fay, who moved to Gig Harbor in 1950 with her husband, Robert, started her career as a secretary with the Peninsula School District in 1969. She rose through the ranks to become the personnel director for the district before retiring in 1984. Fay died Feb. 1 in Lake Oswego, Oregon, at the age of 96.

“Her role evolved and changed,” Steeber said. “She would interview staff and screen hires. She was a major part of the hiring process.”

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Fay was more than a Peninsula School District employee. She served as a role model, grandmother and mentor to her family, friends and peers at the school district. Steeber said she never realized how much people loved her mother until her mother retired and Steeber attended her retirement party.

“She was toasted and lightly roasted,” Steeber said. “People were excited for her, painted pictures for her, brought her gifts. It was quite a surprise for me, to see that side of your mother and see how well respected she was.”

Fay was considered the “grandmother” of the district, since she took a personal interest in her employees.

“She had a bulletin board filled with pictures of her employees' kids and grandkids,” Steeber said. “I don't know if I could ever be that nice or that sweet.”

Ellen Fay is featured in a past issue of The Peninsula Gateway.

Kim Steeber Courtesy

When Fay was honored with an inter-district award in her name, it wasn’t expected to be a long-standing tradition within Peninsula.

“We thought it will live for a few years and then as people cycle out, I figured it would go by the wayside,” Steeber said. “But people are still getting the Ellen Fay Award for Academic Excellence. I am very proud of her for making that much of an impact.”

Superintendent Executive Assistant Marilyn Wilson said the award is given to those in the district who are nominated by their co-workers for excellence in academic work and kindness.

“We usually give out five to seven awards a year,” Wilson said. “Everyone recognized that Peninsula School District employees are outstanding and special. They are top quality people who are models of excellent staff.”

The name of the Ellen Fay Award exemplifies “honor and warmth” in their role, Wilson said.

Steeber said her mother’s sweet personality and love for children extended beyond her work at the district, but also as her personal role of grandma.

“She was born to be a grandmother,” Steeber said.

Fay lived through rough times in her life but felt the most joy when spending time with her daughter’s children. Steeber said her father passed away from a major heart attack in 1979, while sitting on the couch with his wife.

“She had to live through that,” Steeber said. “I always admired her for being able to move on in life and still do the things she needed to do. She survived. Then my brother, my only other sibling, passed away in 1998. She was caregiver for him. So she saw her husband and one of her children pass. I always admired her strength and faith.”

Steeber said she didn’t have her own children until her 40s.

“All of her friends had grandchildren long before she did,” Steeber said. “But it was the role she was born to live, to be the grandmother to my boys.”

Fay texted her grandsons every day, and Steeber said they have kept those messages and read them often to feel connected to their grandmother.

Steeber, who lives in Oregon, traveled with her husband to Gig Harbor to bury her mother’s ashes with her father at Haven of Rest Cemetery. Memorials in Fay's honor may be directed to Providence Hospice or Meals on Wheels.