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A poem for Christmas.............
Every word of this is true (except for the stable - I made that up!)
I Almost Found Jesus
One Christmas Eve, when just a kid,
I delivered the mail to earn a quid.
They’d take you on, the GPO,
and tell you where you had to go.
You never knew just where you’d get as
destinations for those letters,
But one year, I was glad to see
an area quite well-known to me!
My route took me through streets I knew: -
I was born in Crescent Avenue!
Then through the works, along Bourne Road,
each letter drop lightened my load.
My final stop – the stables at -
the Grange – so easy – that was that!
So six a.m. I’m there to pack
my letters, just like Santa’s sack.
Then, Crescent Avenue’s first to go,
trudging slowly through the snow.
At number one, there’s Aunty Wyn,
who beckoned me to come right in:
“Coom in, ma duck, you must be froze
with all that snow around your toes.
Ah know what you need – I have some handy…….
Now don’t say no – it’s damned good brandy!”
Then number 8 across the road,
an effort with my heavy load,
But sure enough, there’s Aunty Phyl,
leaning out the window sill:
“Coom in, ma duck, you must be froze
with all that snow around your toes.
Ah know what you need – I have some handy…….
Now don’t say no – it’s damned good brandy!”
The yellow street lights on the snow,
the Christmas scene that we all know,
I daydreamed, as I walked that day,
of Rudolph and that great big sleigh,
With Santa tugging on the reins.
The brandy coursing through my veins
Like antifreeze reduced my stress,
at each and every aunt’s address.
In Bourne Road there was Aunty Beat,
who always kept her house so neat.
My postman’s run was half-way through,
but she took pity on me too!
“Coom in, ma duck, you must be froze
with all that snow around your toes.
Ah know what you need – I have some handy…….
Now don’t say no – it’s damned good brandy!”
And then I had Bourne Road to cross,
and who should call but Aunty Floss!
By now a little worse for wear,
I staggered in and grabbed a chair.
“Coom in, ma duck, you must be froze
with all that snow around your toes.
Ah know what you need – I have some handy…….
Now don’t say no – it’s damned good brandy!”
But as I left, the strangest sight –
the sky was split – a blinding light!
It came in silence from the west,
as if this Christmas Eve was blessed.
If I had heard the angels sing,
it would have seemed a normal thing!
My final stop, at half past four,
to knock upon that stable door.
I’ve never been religious but
with all that brandy in my gut,
The snow, the light, the stable too;
could it all be coming true?
But there, in letters bold and clear,
was “Closed for Xmas – back next year!”
So, disappointed, home I went,
and pondered on this strange event.
No Telegraphs in Christmas week,
no mention of that skyward streak.
Until the news of Barwell’s scare;
the meteorite that landed there.
No angels and no virgin birth –
a lump of rock that fell to earth!
But one thing that I got to know -
It’s how to keep warm in the snow!
The Barwell meteorite has already been linked to in these topics.

FOOLISH APRIL
April cool so innocent and jolly
April's fooling a seasonable folly
We go out so brave and stout
Gamp and macintosh without
Cast a clout loll about
Thinking not of our rheums or gout
Then to to damp that Springtime ardour
She turns on the water spout
But it's only April, fooling.

JULY
A dear old gentleman with manner bright and warm
Whose smiling face lights up the day from early morn
Whose golden sunshine brings forth the corn
Then without reason, let me be born
He lifts his head and roses bloom to glad the season
The air is warm throughout the day, to winter woollies we say nay
and with a wink and a flourish he waves the clouds away.

Here's one for Christmas........
Oh! What can I get her for Christmas?
Oh! What can I get her for Christmas? I’ve been everywhere in the quest!
There’s nothing at all down at Debenhams, and just rubbish in all of the rest!
I found one I thought she would quite like, but she doesn’t like green at all,
And the only other one I could find was simply far too small.
I wondered about a real sexy one, but I don’t think she’d want one of those,
The last one she had just made everyone laugh, and played merry hell with her toes!
I actually ordered a monogrammed one, but I got a real shock when it came.
I just can’t give her that – ‘cause it wouldn’t make sense – they’d printed some other girl’s name!
I went to the Christmas Shop Help Desk, and the lady there was quite nice,
But nothing she ever suggested was anything like a good price!
I tried on the Internet websites, like Amazon, Google and such,
But all I could find in my price range was a site that was written in Dutch!
The postage to get it from Europe was seriously close to a crime,
And even then they don’t guarantee that the item would get here on time!
I’m now very close to despairing, as December draws close to the end,
But what can you buy a sweet pussy cat, that shows she’s my very best friend?