Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2182 is to be held within a containment room in Unit 9 at Site-18. Experimentation on SCP-2182 is currently barred. A mobile perimeter is to be established around instances of SCP-2182 for the purposes of monitoring during testing.

Description: SCP-2182 is a bronze, winged rod similar in appearance to a traditional Greek caduceus. The rod is 35 cm long and entwined with ivory. Folded ivory wings similar to that of a bird form the base of the handle. The bronze and ivory are somehow capable of bending slightly while maintaining composition.

In general, SCP-2182 will cause objects to become animate in an anthropomorphic and sexually suggestive manner. Objects will often change shape and can continue action for up to three hours (as of the longest recording). The automatons are typically benign, non sapient, and cease effect permanently. Certain inanimate objects are unaffected. Reasons for this are unknown.

Effects differ with persons utilizing SCP-2182. SCP-2182 can typically be activated by grasping the handle and performing a thrusting motion at the intended object. The user must also be visualizing the object.

Further details on SCP-2182 effects can be found in the accompanying testing logs.

Addendum: Testing Logs. Researchers are to remain anonymous under Level Two clearance.

Rock

Rock began to crack in a way that resembled a vagina. This change occurred over a period of thirty minutes, ending with the object disintegrating into a mineral powder. Subject reported that they were sexually aroused by the effect. This effect seems to be present in all subjects who view the effects of SCP-2182.

Bowl of Fruit

Objects in the bowl shifted to resemble a penis. Fruit was in fact inanimate and shifted by the bowl.

Door

Main doors to the building opened slowly, at times closing for short moments. Doors open further than their intended design and cause slight stress damage to the walls.

Doorknob

No effect, but subject was reportedly aroused. Similar effect with all testing subjects.

Landfill

D-Class subject activated SCP-2182 while in a helicopter, 20 meters from the area.

Ground disturbance similar to a magnitude 2 earthquake. Hollow objects in the area filled by non-hollow objects. Effect is still currently underway as of this date. There do not seem to be sufficient amounts of hollow objects in the area to receive loose materials, with materials struggling to fit into hollows. Dissembled cardboard boxes seem to restructure hesitantly into receptacles. They are filled immediately.

Television, powered off.

Television power and cable cord move around, stroking the television box.

Television, power on. Static.

Similar effect to powered off tests.

Television, power on. C-SPAN programming.

Television power and cable cord stroke figures on the screen at increasingly quicker rates. Television screen is destroyed from friction at the 5 minute mark.

Pond

Soft rolling waves on the pond water for 5 hours.

Mirror ██/█/██

[DATA EXPUNGED]

INTRASITE MAIL

RE: Mirror Test 04/03/87

Frank, the subject didn't report being affected by the events with the mirror. But something interesting happened in that a small stream of light was visible reflecting off of the mirror. Went straight up into the sky. Subject noticed this too. Looks like whatever's causing this reflects and is visible when it bounces. Might want to look into that.

RE: RE: Mirror Test 04/03/87

We've relayed the coordinates. Getting some funny pictures up there. Can't quite make it out yet, but, I guess we wouldn't see anything for a few years, would we? Depends on the kind of energy we're dealing with. Who knows.

Let's try to be more cautious.

URGENT MEMORANDUM: SCP-2182

ALL FURTHER TESTING OF SCP-2182 IS TO BE STOPPED

PLEASE SEE ATTACHED FILES, INCLUDING IMAGE SCP-2182-040389 M83

REPEAT, ALL FURTHER TESTING IS TO BE STOPPED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

EXTRANORMAL EVENT. POSSIBLE CONTAINMENT BREACH. DISINFORMATION PROTOCOLS ARE IN EFFECT. EVENT ONGOING FOR AN ESTIMATED FIVE HOURS. ALL RESPONSIBLE PARTIES ARE TO REPORT TO THE SITE DIRECTOR IMMEDIATELY.

Can someone please tell me what in god's name I am looking at right now?