The AssinTheBox is back!

After a four-year hiatus, AssinTheBox.com is back online, and according to site owner Kevin Brown is serving up sweet spring-loaded 'remote mooning systems' delivered anonymously via FedEx.

For the Ass newbie, Kevin's website allows for a visitor to order a spring-loaded butt that pops up when the recipient opens the box, as you see here:

His site also offers a possibility for correspondence between the sender and the recipient, which makes for more fun. Kevin was nice enough to connect for an interview about his website, for those of us who were not aware of the awesome comedic possibilities available to us.

"Kevin, tell us a bit about AssinTheBox. How does it work? What's
the deal with asses?"

"The Assinthebox was invented out of the pure need to moon someone remotely. That means you no longer have to travel miles and miles to simply bare your buttocks at that special someone. [The Ass] is a spring loaded goodie that is infinitely reusable. When the recipient opens the ribbon by cutting or pulling it off the box, the lid flies open with a sweet rubberized booty staring right back at them. There's also a personal note included for free from the sender. On top of all that, it's FedEx'd by AssinTheBox.com, so the sender stays anonymous! The recipient will have a "reply code" on the note to interact with the anonymous sender via our special online messaging center!"

"So, Kevin, how and when did AssinTheBox begin?"

"The AssinTheBox was first conceived in 2006 and was initially going to be another body part that pops out of a box. But, uh, I'm glad I changed my mind in its creation. Although I'm curious if the AssinTheBox was the secret inspiration for the SNL skit song 'D*ck in a box.'"

"How was business the first time around?"

"Business actually picked up steam and we were handling some pretty frequent orders. But since each one was handmade (using a different, more time-intensive method) it just seemed to eat up any free time we may have had. But now I have devised a new method and it's much more efficient, and with the birth of social media in between the time we stopped the booty and now, I figured it is high time to get our asses out there!"

"What caused you to cut out for a few years?"

"The time it took to create each and every lovingly hand-crafted ass was taking a bit of a toll on any non-booty activities, so I felt it best to go on a hianus.. er, hiatus. Working a full time job, plus another job on the weekends, was eating up booty time as well."

"Have you ever had an ass returned by the Post Office?"

"I actually did have an ass returned, but it was only because the recipient was no longer residing there. But otherwise I've gotten wonderful encouraging responses to the AssinTheBox."

"What is the best story that you have ever heard from a customer? A recipient?"

"The best stories were the ones from both the senders and recipients who were in a close relationship of some kind. The AssinTheBox was the best way to express that special affection! Valentine's was always a hit! It's hard to pin down a particular story, but there was a sender who actually contacted his long lost brother with a freaking AssinTheBox! Loved that story."

"I notice on your website that someone can put a code in from his anonymous ass to send a reply to his unknown assailant. Is this how it works?"

"Absolutely. The code is like a password to only that recipient's "mail-box" on the AssinTheBox.com site. They can see or send any messages by [and to] the sender (the sender remains anonymous, unless he/ she decides to let the recipient know who it is). It's a blast and was actually used quite a lot! Now the system is improved and both the sender and recipient can get email notifications any time one of them responds. Great fun!"

"What brought you back after four years?"

"After my release from prison... well, it was more of an "institution," I decided it was high time to get back on the Ass-Wagon! Plus [with] the birth of social media like the 'book of faces,' the 'tweety machine,' and so on, I wanted to see if it could reach new heights. So far there's a number of 'likes' on the fan page at facebook.com/assinthebox, and I always enjoy putting more groovy updates on the tweetster (twitter.com/assinthebox) and the book-'o'-faces."

"Do you expect the post office cuts to affect your business?"

"I'm saddened about the state of the postal service. However, because I always feel safer providing the sender with a tracking number. I use the FedEx service right now. So far they've never let me down. So visit www.assinthebox.com and "get your 'assin' on!"

About the Author

I am a native east coastie living as a west coast hippie, soaking up the Pacific Northwest rain with two kids and a multitude of pets. I love good wine, writing, cooking, and crafty shit like crocheting, sewing, jewelry-making and drawing. I have an associate's degree in Accounting and Account Fraud and an associate's in Criminal Justice with a psychology specialization. Now I attend Utica's computer forensic bachelor's program and hope in the years to come to help find missing and exploited children. Up yours, human traffickers!

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