Tuesday, September 20, 2016

HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE TELLING YOU HOW TO WRITE A POEM

When I first
started getting work published online, I was invited to join a few poetry
forums.The workshop approach to writing
has never been my thing (we sociopaths don’t play well with others, as a rule),
but I figured What the hell? and
decided to give it a try.

The results
were about as chock full of hilarity as you can probably imagine.

I was
bitched at for not taking the editing advice of others, I was bitched at for
not offering enough constructive criticism to others, I was bitched at for
stating my belief that repeatedly re-working a poem left you with the literary
equivalent of a heavily glazed xmas fruitcake…..

I mentioned
on several occasions that workshopping wasn’t a substitute for just getting out
there and submitting work.I said that,
after a point, it was just needless procrastination and cowardice.I was motherfucking Captain Popularity!I said “Post your work, and I’ll tell you
whether or not it works for me.”What
else can you do?If you rewrite someone
else’s poem enough for them, is it still their poem?

An editor at
one of the forums made the mistake of deciding to choose a POEM OF THE MONTH,
and then went and chose a couple of mine in the first few months.A few people immediately started screaming
about how unfair this was, since I was a “professional” poet and they were just
amateurs.I explained, again, that I was
simply a writer who actually submitted his work to magazines instead of posting
it on forums for others to fix.I also explained
that the bottom line for me has always been IF YOU DON’T LIKE SOMEONE’S POEM,
THEN JUST WRITE A BETTER ONE OF YOUR OWN.

How hard is
that?

Anyway…..

I obviously
eventually left all the forums, and I’m sure no tears were shed.If it weren't for free porn and youtube videos of teenagers ingesting cinnamon, this whole internet thing would be a complete waste of time....