Lone Man Fights Back Against Subway Rat Invasion

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There comes a time in every man’s life when he can no longer sit idly by and watch his boogered-subway car fall prey to the mercy of an invading horde. Waging a symbolic campaign against the rodent scourge that has recentlyinfiltrated the very place we sit our asses, this unnamed individual — armed only with fearlessness and a makeshift newspaper scoop — endeavored to pick up a roaming rat from the subway floor and heave it off the A train. Sadly, the rat proved himself a filthy worthy opponent, evading capture through slight of foot and gross of fur, taking cover behind a slumbering passenger’s boots. It is at once a lesson in heroism and a cautionary tale against passing out mid-ride. Anonymous warrior, consider your dry heaveswell-earned.