Remember yesterday when Fox News kept showing that one smiling beret wearing black guy holding doors for people at a polling station and shrieking that they were being INTIMIDATED AT THE POLLS? Do you recall the last few months, how conservative commentators kept speculating that if Obama won, there would be riots in the streets! (Black people riots, natch) Liberals sure are a bunch of violent, looting, sore losers — wait, what's this about students at Ole Miss rioting because Romney lost? Is it technically called a "riot" when white people do it? (Answer: no. "Disturbance.")

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You know, the American South can be a lovely place. Great food. Nice people. Lots of beauty and personality. The accent. But if I were a Mississippian, I'd be pretty embarrassed by the behavior of these tantrum-throwing Ole Miss students rioting after Mitt Romney lost last night.

Not only is property destruction a classless and stupid way to commemorate something, It's Mitt Romney. Literally the lamest reason to riot of all time. I have more respect for people who start couches on fire after national championships. Soccer rioting is cooler. Being really, really mad that Mitt Romney didn't win the Presidency is the ultimate white person problem. If black, pro-Obama people were rioting after an Obama defeat, this would be the only thing on Fox News right now. They'd just be playing it on a loop with dark, foreboding music. It would be a KKK recruiting film.

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I guess this is what happens when you choose to live inside a reality of your own construction and are then confronted with evidence that your reality isn't real.