I'm straying from what has become my usual discourse up to now to address an issue relative to parents, guardians and grandparents. I recently read an article that I found very disturbing and caused me a great deal of concern for the child involved. I typically stay away from criticizing the way in which others opt to raise their children. I am by no means a perfect parent and I doubt the "perfect parent" exists! But, there are commonsense things we do to care for our children physically and emotionally that separate the good parents from the bad. The morals and values we raise our children with are our own and while I may not necessarily agree with someone else's, I will not pass judgment on the manner they choose. That is, until I read this particular blog by a mother who initially gained my admiration. However, as I read on I was overcome with disbelief and concern.The blog was written by a mother who discussed taking her gay son to his first gay pride parade. I was moved by the obvious devotion, unconditional love and support she had for her son. I had every intention of leaving a comment praising her for the support and acceptance she exhibited when too often parents have difficulty coming to terms with their gay child's sexual orientation. My admiration turned to disbelief as I read on to discover that the gay son she was referring to was only 7-years-old. I have heard many people state that they were born gay and I believe there is truth to what they say. But, can a 7-year-old child truly know what gay means? Are they even thinking in terms of sexuality and physical attraction at that age? I certainly don't recall thinking in those terms until I was closer to 12 or 13 years old. But, I decided to seek answers from the horses mouths, so to speak.

I called numerous friends and family members who are openly gay and questioned them about when they became aware of their sexual orientation. They were all in agreement that they were born gay, though some admitted family and societal expectations kept them from "coming out" for a longer period of time. Nearly all of them agreed that while they knew when young that they were different, none questioned their sexual orientation or gave it any thought at such an early age as 7 years (Most fell between ages 12 and 16 years, with age 12 being the majority of responses). At the risk of sounding less than "Politically Correct", I had spent most of my adult life working as a hairstylist which has allowed me the privilege of befriending many gay co-workers and their friends. This had afforded me a rather extensive pool for my spontaneous research on the matter. They were all very amused by my efforts and equally supportive, some offering suggestions and humor to make my answer seeking rather fun!What could have convinced the mother of this second-grader that he was gay? The most obvious answer is that he told her he was gay. But, if it is less than likely that he would comprehend the meaning or emotions behind the word, why use it? The responses from my friends varied widely but a few possibilities were repeated over and over again. A need to be special could have prompted a second-grader to state he was gay. Another possibility is that kids (knowing they can be mean and torment peers) may have called him gay and he simply accepted their taunts as truth. A far more disturbing prospect is that the boy has been molested and thus has a distorted view of his sexuality based on abuse by another male. Regardless of what may have prompted the boy to profess himself as gay, I feel mom was far too eager to run with the admission and accept it as fact.

She is showing her support and unconditional love in a manner that is promoting a lifestyle that sexually categorizes a 7-year-old child. This is subject matter that should be completely alien to a child that age and her desire to show him acceptance no matter what, could create greater confusion for him when he enters adolescence to discover he may not be what he thought he was... An individual's sexuality is not a lifestyle choice, it is an integral part of their identity and should develop naturally without influence.

As parents and caregivers we should encourage the hobbies and interests of our children, but never in a manner that influences their behavior. She should neither encourage nor discourage her son from a gay lifestyle; but, rather be there to listen and support him no matter the path he takes. Kids shouldn't have to live up to our expectations or try to compete with the accomplishments or goals of others. They just want to be loved no matter who they are, how big or small their goals are and in spite of some failures they may experience along the way.