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Helping each other get sane about foodThu, 03 Dec 2015 23:56:14 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.3.11How Much Do Looks Matter to You—and Is It Messing Up Your Efforts to Get Sane About Food?http://healthygirl.org/2010/10/11/how-much-do-looks-matter-to-you%e2%80%94and-is-it-messing-up-your-efforts-to-get-sane-about-food/
http://healthygirl.org/2010/10/11/how-much-do-looks-matter-to-you%e2%80%94and-is-it-messing-up-your-efforts-to-get-sane-about-food/#commentsMon, 11 Oct 2010 05:00:28 +0000http://healthygirl.org/?p=1933read ]]>HealthyGirl.org reader and contributor Erica is back today with a guest post about finding herself in a bit of a tougher spot than usual with food and her body. Getting sane about food is a winding road, and we all have little hills and valleys—big thanks to Erica for being so honest about hers here. xo…Sunny

“Within the last month I’ve been eating a lot of junk food and having mini binges, and my workouts have not been enjoyable or empowering. As I was struggling on the treadmill one day, huffing and puffing at a pace and incline that could usually allow me to leisurely read a magazine, I broke out crying. I felt like a hamster on a wheel, making myself do this so I could get back on track and not lose the tone that I had worked hard to attain over the summer. A voice inside me begged out loud, ‘Please be kinder! Please, please be kinder!’ over and over again. Like many of us are, I know I’m often too hard on myself, particularly in the looks department, and I think this little freak-out was a sign from my inner-self telling me it had had enough. Can’t say I blame it.”

“See, while I know my body image has evolved positively since recovering from binge eating disorder, I still have an underlying desire to look a certain way. Admittedly, it’s a bit hard to focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle for the sole purpose of being healthy. As much as I preach that I’m trying to take better care of myself so that I can be a healthy, strong old lady in the future, it’s tougher to concentrate on that abstract, distant goal than it is to notice how I look today.

“Speaking of looks, I’m realizing just how much I look in the mirror—and I’ve decided I’m going to try and go a day without doing so. I know this isn’t practical for every day life, but for once I’d like to not sneak glances at myself and pinch back my hips to see what I would look like with less flesh there. Don’t get me wrong, I often love how I look, but I want to put a bit less emphasis on appearance either way. From a quick Google search, I see that this challenge isn’t very original. Dove had a seven-day challenge, and some girl on Facebook tried it for 21 days. At this point all I’m asking of myself is one day—I’m doing this because I need to re-focus.

“I’m in a workout and food rut, and I believe that is mainly because I’ve lost sight of why I want (or should want) to eat right and exercise. Perhaps I’ve taken my recovery for granted in that once I got better I stopped reading those motivating books, food journaling, and using the other helpful tactics that got me where I am now. On the bright side, I’ve learned that, similar to a doctor or teacher trying to stay current in her profession, an eating disorder survivor should dip into her old toolbox every so often to keep herself on track, always learning, always improving.

“I know what you’re going to say (and what I would tell any of you if you were feeling this way), and that’s progress over perfection. So I’m just going to breathe and keep that in mind. Until then, to those of you who consider yourselves to be recovered, how often do you use the strategies you did when you were first beginning the healing process? Or did you never stop using them?” —Erica

Have any of you ever had an experience like Erica? I know that over my recovery, as my life got fuller and my self esteem grew, appearance became less important to me than my happiness and health. And caring more about my insides than my outsides gave me the freedom from guilt and allowed me to bring joy back into exercise and eating. Please share whatever this brings up for you! xo…Sunny

]]>http://healthygirl.org/2010/10/11/how-much-do-looks-matter-to-you%e2%80%94and-is-it-messing-up-your-efforts-to-get-sane-about-food/feed/14Even if Your Body Doesn't Change Much, You Will Love it More When You Recoverhttp://healthygirl.org/2010/09/22/1871/
http://healthygirl.org/2010/09/22/1871/#commentsWed, 22 Sep 2010 11:42:17 +0000http://healthygirl.org/?p=1871read ]]>I’m happy to welcome back the anonymous blogger at Confessions of a Compulsive Overeater with a guest post about how her body image has changed over the course of recovery. To anyone who’s still suffering with body obsession, this story will give you hope! (Then feel free to read her earlier HealthyGirl.org posts on how early her bingeing started—8 years old—and how she found her way to intuitive eating.) xo…Sunny

When my compulsive overeating and bingeing began before the age of 10, I don’t recall being concerned about my body. I was a tomboy, an active child, so all the junk food I was sneaking and shoveling in my mouth didn’t really show up on my body. Then puberty hit.

During my teens, my father would tease me about the size of my rear end. Perhaps his teasing was meant to be a gentle hint for me to watch what I was eating, but the hint was not taken kindly. Again, because I was a tomboy, my head was more into playing sports than about fashion and how I looked. I still didn’t even really know what body image was. By the time I graduated from high school, about 40 pounds overweight, I started to become aware that I was heavy and started to wear clothes that hid my weight.

Then when I went away to college, the big achiever that I am, I ended up gaining 20 pounds instead of just the freshman 15. By that point, none of my jeans fit, I was bursting out of my bras and the only clothes that fit me were sweat pants and baggy shirts. As a college student, I had no money to buy new clothes. Like many women, I felt like my weight gain would be hidden by my baggy sweaters and sweatpants. I did not feel good in my skin, but knew of no way to stop consuming tremendous amounts of food in a frenzied manner. I had no idea I had an eating disorder, I thought I had a sweet tooth and loved food.

I loathed the summer and having to put on shorts or a bathing suit. Clearly my body image was quite poor. I did not love myself or the body that I was in.

After college, close to 20 years passed of living these behaviors of bingeing and dieting, until I finally realized that I in fact had an eating disorder all these years. The words addiction, eating disorder and compulsive overeater horrified and shamed me. At the same time, it gave my A-type personality a “label” to put on my eating issues, which was great for me. I embraced the eating disorder and threw myself into recovering with a passion. That was about 32 months ago, when I was a few months shy of age 40. I immediately started going to support group meetings and therapy. Later, I entered the amazing blog community of the eating disorders/health/fitness realm, then recovery and intuitive eating blogs, and read some really great books. As of this moment, I am 32 months binge-free and counting. I now eat mostly only when I am hungry, and I know that it’s ok to enjoy desserts in moderation. Nothing is forbidden. Taking that label off has made all the difference in the world.

This combination of therapies helped me to recover. I recovered my mind, body and spirit. I learned what in my childhood caused my eating disorder to begin; then I, ahem, digested it and then put it behind me.

Throughout all of these years, I had always exercised to some extent but after discovering I had an eating disorder, my workouts became even more focused. Instead of just doing cardio workouts, I added strength training. Wow, what a difference that made! In fact, I just did my first sprint triathlon in August and will be doing two more in September. I lost weight, but more importantly, all the aspects of recovery have enabled me to love myself and my body again.

I’ve learned that I’m worthy of nurturing myself in mind, body and spirit. Through doing those things, my body image of myself has changed from one of shame to one of – look what my body can do!

Instead of hiding my body in baggy clothes as I had done for so long, I now wear clothes that fit me and show a healthy body that I am proud of.

##

In the midst of bad body image, it’s hard to imagine ever feeling “proud” of your body, isn’t it? But that’s what recovery brings for many. It sounds as if exercise and becoming athletic was part of the key for Anonymous. I can relate to that—when I started jogging, ever so slowly back in 2002, after years of avoiding most kinds of exercise like the plague—I found that it made me think of my body differently. I felt it differently and lived in it differently. I started to connect with my physical body in a way that was positive rather than hate-filled or critical. More on that tomorrow.

For now, has your body image changed during recovery? Are you still stuck in a pretty bad body image place, or have you found some relief; and if so, how? xo…Sunny

Of course I know exercise is key to being healthy and feeling better about myself…but I always found myself asking, “But how do I start?” The whole idea of the gym freaked me out—the one I belong to has mirrored walls basically everywhere and rows of cardio machines and weight machines (that look a lot more like medieval torture devices).

But my biggest problem with the gym? The people. I suffered with this complex that everyone at the gym was healthy and fit and thin, and that I would walk in there with my size 16 rear end and everyone would just chuckle to themselves. Here comes another one, they’d say to themselves, she’ll never make it past a week. I was also terrified of the locker room…women double my age with better bodies and perkier boobs and stronger arms would have to suffer watching me change into my too-tight sports bra and wide hips.

These thoughts are what plagued me through college and now in law school, before I started to make a change in the way I looked at myself (thanks a lot in part to HealthyGirl.org and you guys). But as the clothes I already had started getting tighter and I barely went out besides to go to class and get groceries, I knew a change needed to be made.

I’m 23 years old, I told myself one day, I shouldn’t be hiding from the world. I bought a gym membership, and I felt good. But then it was a matter of getting there with these thoughts still running through my head. It took a few times of me putting on my gym clothes, driving to the gym, sitting in my car for about 30 minutes then driving home all because I was too afraid to step inside. Then one day, after about 25 minutes, I told myself to stop being a big baby and get out of the car.

Step by step I walked into the gym, and actually got on a treadmill. And honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Sure, people looked at me, but when I was on the treadmill I realized that I was casually glancing around at people too—not making judgments, or thinking poorly about them or myself, just looking. I walked for about 30 minutes and left, a little embarrassed that I didn’t even go a full mile…but I went back again, and that’s what matters.

What I, and what so many girls fail to realize is that those thoughts are all in our own heads. We must realize that what other people think does not matter. The bottom line is that no matter what size you are, you are getting your ass to the gym to feel healthier for yourself. When you walk a mile on that treadmill, those 45-year-old size 4 women with implants aren’t the ones who are getting the benefits of those endorphins—you are. When you get on the elliptical for the first time and go crazy for 10 or 15 minutes, and your legs feel a little wobbly when you get off, those women are not the ones who will feel a little stronger the next day—you are! So why should it matter what they think about you when you’re in there? They aren’t living your life, so why should they have this kind of influence over it?

By going there and focusing on what I was doing and how well I was doing it, I started to respect myself. I gradually stopped changing in the locker room and mentally apologizing to everyone around me for having to look at me. If they don’t like the way I look, then they don’t have to look at me. I’ve met plenty of people who are happy to look at me and don’t give a damn about my waist-to-hip ratio. I don’t have a stake in these strangers’ bodies or health, so they shouldn’t have a stake in mine.

I’ve been going to the gym pretty consistently for the last 6 months. I haven’t dropped a size, but I can definitely say I walk around with my head held higher. I feel tighter in places I didn’t know I could tighten. I’m confident even when I’m still the biggest girl in the room. And not only did I stop abusing myself and start going out and having fun, but I actually starting dating someone (which is a huge step for me).

Of course going to the gym isn’t a miracle worker—if you go to the gym you will not magically have all your dreams come true, but it’s a step in the right direction. So am I still a size 16? Yes…but I’m a happy 16. —Trish

And being happy and comfortable in our bodies, that’s what matters most, isn’t it? What gym experiences have you guys had lately? Please share wtih me, Trish, and the rest! xo…Sunny

Follow HealthyGirl.org on Twitter for a new BODY-SANITY or FOOD-SANITY tip every day!

]]>http://healthygirl.org/2010/07/22/how-to-exercise-for-the-right-reasons%e2%80%94and-feel-better-about-your-body/feed/9Why Comparing Yourself to Other Women is Dangeroushttp://healthygirl.org/2010/03/09/when-comparing-gets-in-the-way/
http://healthygirl.org/2010/03/09/when-comparing-gets-in-the-way/#commentsTue, 09 Mar 2010 15:50:56 +0000http://healthygirl.org/?p=1137read ]]> One of my perhaps more regrettable traits and/or habits (that I have been made aware of by my mother since age eight) is that I compare myself to other people a lot. I have gotten a lot better at quieting this instinct, but I was in a situation today where I realized my comparing does a lot of hindering when it comes to feeling good about myself and my body.

I was feeling really lazy about going to the gym even though I knew it would make me feel better and I told myself to just do the best I could do in this moment. I finally went and got on a treadmill and I was actually feeling pretty good at the beginning. I was confidently striding a long and a Giselle look-alike got on the machine right next to me.
She was probably six inches taller than me, consequently thinner and just all of the things I am conditioned into thinking defines beauty. I got this heavy, insecure feeling and all I could think about was what our behinds must look like next to each other, bouncing along.

My head space really drastically went from feeling strong and normal to panicky and bad about myself. What is going on? Ohhh…I’m comparing myself to this stranger for no good reason and it’s sucking positivity out of me.

Luckily, I caught myself and my negative-thoughts loop and immediately gave myself a little pep talk. What prompted me to compare myself to this person? Why do I care at all? Why am I so worried about what other people are looking at? (p.s. Everyone is always so into how they are coming across, they generally aren’t even paying attention). I realized in order to get myself out of this space, I needed to focus more on myself and what I was doing.

I realized that I felt proud I actually made it to the gym and that I was fulfilling my own personal exercise goals. After I had my turn around, I felt this lightness come back into my step and pseudo-super-model next to me kind of faded out of my periphery. (She also got off way before me, but who’s counting anyways, right? =)

Looking back, I think that when I was at my worst with my food and body stuff, some of it was due to a perpetual bad habit of comparing myself to other people…Other people’s bodies, eating habits, jean size, social lives, accomplishments, you name it. After learning to focus more on my own thing, I think it had a direct correlation to me being able to listen to my body and really figuring out what I need and what is best for me. It takes some practice to recognize moments of comparing and then ways to talk yourself out of doing it, but ultimately I think it is a helpful thing to work on! There’s little use for comparing on the road to recovery because we are all so different!

Do you compare yourself to other women in day-to-day life? Or at work? Or at the gym? —Morgan

]]>http://healthygirl.org/2010/03/09/when-comparing-gets-in-the-way/feed/24Surrounding Yourself with People That Help You Get Sane About Foodhttp://healthygirl.org/2010/01/22/surrounding-yourself-with-people-that-help-you-get-sane-about-food/
http://healthygirl.org/2010/01/22/surrounding-yourself-with-people-that-help-you-get-sane-about-food/#commentsFri, 22 Jan 2010 13:43:25 +0000http://healthygirl.org/?p=834read ]]> Sitting on a bike in between two of my friends in a spinning class on a recent Saturday morning, I realized how fortunate I felt to have people around me that help—rather than hinder—when it comes to getting sane about food and my body. I knew if I didn’t go join my friends that morning, I would miss out on spending time with them and also on feeling good!

These friends of mine and I like exercising together and sharing healthy recipes, but we can also be found sharing our favorite chocolate lava cake from time to time. Spending time with them inspires me, in a healthy way, to take care of myself and make exercise and healthy (but tasty) eating a priority without going crazy.

But there have times when I surrounded myself with people that were not like this at all and it really made it tough to listen to myself and do what I knew was best for me. Like the saying goes, “you can’t choose our family, but you can choose your friends”—we all have the choice of who we spend a lot of time with (at least outside of obligations like school and work).

A friend in the past was so restrictive about her food choices when we would eat together that it made me hyper-conscious and obsessive about what I was eating. I think I almost ate more because it made me anxious and I wanted to be the “relaxed”, “normal” one around food (even though inside, I wasn’t really). However, then I would just end up feeling guilty and badly that I hadn’t really listened to myself and own body. This same friend was really fun to go shopping with, and upon realizing this, I would set up hanging out with her in a different context and it was a lot better.

You have the power to recognize who helps you feel better about the things you are dealing with and who doesn’t and in what capacity you want individuals in your life. I also find that my food/body stuff is at its best (and sanest) when I surround myself with people who I know and trust like me for who I am and I don’t feel like I am pretending to be something I am not. Sometimes, I think I’d rather be alone than be with people that make my experience with food/body worse.

Do you have any good ideas for surrounding yourself with people that help you get more sane about food and your body? —Morgan

The kind of exercise I like to do has nothing whatsoever to do with weight or body size. For me, working out is about strength, tone, stress relief—just feeling amazing, you know? So when I found out through my friend Anna over at Full On Style about the 100 Push Ups program I was like, Bingo! One part of my body that’s always been weaker than the rest is my shoulders and arms. You’d think they were made of mushy noodles! And I’d love to feel stronger.

This program is like training for a race or something. Basically, you do the initial test to find out how many you can do right now (12 modified on my knees) and then do a personalized “plan” in which you do several sets of differing amounts of push ups three days a week for six weeks. Ten minutes a day, tops. Monday morning I’m supposed to do five sets of push ups (10, 12, 7, 7 and 9), and then, no doubt, collapse in a heap of ache and sweat.

Have any of you ever done something like this before? Want to do it with me?!

]]>http://healthygirl.org/2010/01/10/how-many-push-ups-can-you-do/feed/14A Breathing Exercise That Could Help You Get Saner About Foodhttp://healthygirl.org/2009/12/16/a-breathing-exercise-that-could-help-you-get-saner-about-food/
http://healthygirl.org/2009/12/16/a-breathing-exercise-that-could-help-you-get-saner-about-food/#commentsWed, 16 Dec 2009 13:53:06 +0000http://healthygirl.org/?p=637read ]]>Last week, we got to hear Sprout Yoga founder Maggie’s Real Story about her own struggle with food—and how yoga helped her get better. Here, she shares a breathing exercise that she says helps her yoga students connect with their bodies and calm down, so they don’t need to turn to overeating. You can do this move anywhere, anytime. Thanks again Maggie!

“THREE-PART” BREATHING1. First, sit in a chair, or cross-legged on the floor and align your hips over your sitz bones (the boney parts of your tush), then your ribs over your hips, and then your shoulders over your ribs. That lets you have space in your belly to fill with air. It also brings your shoulders out of the slump/curl that we can sometimes take when we feel like we need to protect ourselves from the world.

2. Now, breathe all the way into your belly, as if you were filling it like a balloon. “You know how you say you have ‘food baby’ after eating too much?,” asks Maggie. “So have ‘air baby.’ No one cares if your belly is “big” so you can relax and stop holding it in so tight.” During this exercise, you’re supposed to really push it out there!

3. Last, exhale as much as you can as slowly as you can, drawing your belly button all the way in, up and back as if you wanted to tuck it into the arch in your ribs.
Why does this help emotional or binge eaters? “From my experience, I compulsively ate when I was in a state of panic,” Maggie says. “Anxiety plays a large role in disordered eating with studies now showing 40% to 60% overlap between anxiety disorders and eating disorders. So if you can tamper down on anxiety, you can tamper down on the compulsive eating.”

"The one place I was free from the intense anxiety I had about whether I was small enough was yoga." -Maggie

“Everyone, everywhere deserves to be at ease with themselves and their bodies.” That is the motto of Sprout Yoga—an organization dedicated to providing yoga to those healing from eating disorders and trauma.

Today we get to hear a Real Story from the founder of this wonderful organization, Maggie!

I was an average kid until about the sixth grade. And then I grew. And grew. And grew. I grew six inches in one school year and didn’t gain a pound. That kind of growth hid a pattern of eating that was fairly destructive. I could put away a pan of brownies, or heaps of mashed potatoes without too much fan fare. When I stopped growing and gained the weight I needed to be healthy, it was noticeable and noticed.

I started crash dieting and only gained more weight. I could go a day or two without food before I’d feel faint and start bingeing again. Around that same time I experienced a fairly severe trauma. The destructive binge eating and crash dieting continued through high school—where at one point I ate less than 900 calories a day—and into college. At some point in college the exercising and limiting my food intake caused me to lose a lot of weight rapidly. Again it was noticeable and noticed—people talked to me about my eating in an intervention style manner.

I managed to keep most of my food issues under control after college but there would be periods of extreme intake and extreme restricting. Law school was even worse, and then afterwards worse again. I had built up anxiety about my body, how big and strong I was (an athletic 5’8”), and the things that had happened to me.

The one place I was free from the intense anxiety I had about whether I was small enough was yoga. I started at my mom’s suggestion at age 17 and it stayed with me. I kept up through videos, classes, books and any way I could and was encouraged by a therapist to make yoga part of my healing strategy. As I found the sources of my compulsive eating, I found that I was getting closer to healing the more I did yoga.

I decided to volunteer to teach, and after fifteen years of practice, I was finally at a point where I could share my experience through teaching. The power of teaching keeps me in a place where I confront levels of my compulsive eating. Yoga is more than just a series of movements–it calms the whirlpools of the mind. By learning about meditation, peace and freedom in yoga, I could apply these theories to my own compulsive eating. —Maggie

It’s not jut Maggie who’s gotten help for eating issues through yoga—studies have found that it can be beneficial for people going through treatment. We got a chance to ask her more about it and will have some at-home tips coming soon!

No, she's not my cat, she just reminds me of me when I first started exercising. Kinda scared, but curious, having to wade in slowly!

If anyone would’ve told me 10 years ago that I’d eventually end up falling in love with working out, I would’ve fallen down on the ground and rolled out the door laughing. Dude, you’re talking about a girl who almost didn’t graduate from high school because she was behind in P.E. credits. You’re talking about a girl who never played sports in her life. I believed I was uncoordinated, physically weak and definitely lacking in the motivation and will power to maintain any kind of exercise routine.

Then one day, in 2002, I was on a business trip in South Beach and saw a couple of women running down the beach. And found myself feeling … jealous. Jealous? Yes! I wanted to feel as healthy and awake as they looked bouncing across the sand. I wanted to squint into the sun and feel myself moving, fast. I wanted to breath hard and sweat and feel my body. I was young, but I didn’t feel like it. Somehow I knew that running would help. So I went into a shop, bought a sports bra, put on my silly little cross-trainers and went for a jog–that very same day.

The next morning I woke up and did it again. And back in New York I kept it up, running around my Brooklyn neighborhood for 10, 15 minutes at a time after work. I worked up to a mile, then two miles, then three, then I found myself a running partner. Within about nine months I could run for an hour at a time. It was mind-clearing, it was liberating, it was … so much freaking fun. My running partner and I did a couple 5Ks, then a 10K and eventually jogged (albeit slowly) the New York Marathon.

The key for me was a shift in attitude: Exercise no longer had to do with how many calories I could burn an hour. It wasn’t about burning calories at all. It wasn’t about punishing myself for a binge, or trying to make up for weeks and weeks of emotional overeating. Exercise became all about the pleasure and relief the movement provided in that moment–and the good, calm, strong feeling that continued afterward.

I found that exercise actually helped me feel saner about food and my body. It relieved a ton of stress, gave me a sense of accomplishment and made me feel better about myself at some core level.

It’s those things, not some fleeting focus on weight loss or calorie-zapping, is what is going to keep me hitting the gym. What about you–what place does exercise have in your life?