Monday, April 23, 2012

This Just In: You're On Your Own For a Week!

Dear Loyal Readers, Occasional Readers, First-Time Readers, Last-Time Readers Who Are Totally Over This Blog But Are Checking In One Final Time In Order to Leave a Nasty Comment, and Random Internet Browsers Looking for Images of Naked People on Recumbents:

Owing to an urgent and unforeseen family matter I will be unable to update the BikeSnobNYC blog this week. (ShedSnobNYC updates, however, will remain unaffected.) I apologize for the inconvenience, especially on the heels of my book tour, but I assure you that despite my flippant tone it's an unhappy circumstance and the absence is very necessary. I also assure you that I made every effort to engage the services of a substitute blogger for the duration of my absence, but I'm sorry to report that Cormac McCarthy refused, and as far as I'm concerned it's him or nobody.

Sure, New York City's something of a cultural backwater as far as cycling is concerned, but it happens to be my home so I figured what the heck. Evidently I'll be speaking in the "Bikelandia" area at 4:00pm, after which I'll be at the Brooks booth where I'll happily ruin your copy of my book (or anything else you stick in front of me, including cherished pets) with my signature.

In the meantime, rest assured I look forward to my return, at which point I will address numerous pressing matters, including but not limited to:

I hate having to curate surreal bike/interweb related memes on my own but I guess there's nothing to be done about that..

I'm off to check out Cormac McCarty's tumbler yelps. Then I'll check out Tilfords weekend results ( can't wait to see how that fence turned out, too). Then some clicking around Kickstarter might provide the "WTFs?" I sorely need this morning. My afternoon is already set with a visit to garageretreat.com

Hi Snob, long time reader, sometime commenter. Love your blog. Listen, the reason that I'm commenting, is that I have this persistent rash. I'm not sure I can wait a week for your reply, so maybe I'll just ask Cormac. Thanks for nothing.

PS - this comment would have been way better if blogger would allow strikethrough html tags.

Whenever someone says "sorry to hear about your [taintal soreness, unhappy family circumstance, etc.]" it always sounds to me like they're saying they're sorry you said anything about it and they'd rather just be ignorant.

...i must admit, such is the nature of 'bike snob nyc' that when i first read "...family matter..." followed by "...unhappy circumstance...", my first though was that bsnyc/rtms/wcrm had got the 'family jewels' caught in the zipper of his stylish new black japanese calf leather cycling shorts, & wherein, any accident of a scranicular nature would be, in & of itself, reason to take a week off, i believe this to be of a different seriousness...

...anon 6:26pm...if you mean my avatar foto, no, not a pinarello...that is the only top-end garlatti (corsa) i've personally ever seen other than fotos...it was equipped with a campagnolo nuovo record gruppo & an aftermarket chrome cinelli style fork...the simplified deep red paint job was mine...

...i bought it from my old friend, the very creative & erudite craig mitchell (r.i.p.) who is remembered within mtb circles for having crafted the first purpose built mtb frame for charles kelly, back in the day...

...craig always tinkered with stuff, thus the fork but the frameset was never light enough for his taste...he obsessed about weight...

...one can see older ives garlatti bikes on-line but they're usually a few levels down...

I detected some very, very mild and faint camel toe in the Just Kidding Boat Pic. You just know Captain Viagra is going to take her to poundtown as soon as they go below deck. Makin' wake in a no wake zone with his bone while she moans to scent of Brut cologne.

You son of a bitch.This is the only damn thing I have to look forward too, the only damn glimmer of wit, civilized writing, in my miserable existance.I look forward to familiarizing yourself with your visage again, so that I can kick your ass should I spot you on the street, 'Queen's Style'.

@ McFly 12:49 PMMaybe the reason we are anonymous is that we can't be bothered registering with blogger for no good reason!! WTF?On further investigation, I've discovered that most of the commenters here(not just McFly) that I thought had blog links - they're not blog links - they don't have blogs!! I do in fact have a blog but I don't want you mob reading it, so I'll stay anonymous thanks.-Aussie codger

Furthermore blogs are for people with insightful observations and humorous interpretations. Not for someone who has just recently come to the conclusion that the entire female race does not revolve around his every whim. OR wear arm-warmers with a sleeveless jersey.

Yeah, Leroy, I wanna second what BGW said...I made a left-handed attempt but yours was kick-ass right on. I was afraid to piss off Elden because he might not let me Guest Post anymore and frankly, I need the money. Yes, I am a cheap whore. Really cheap, considering I don't get paid.

I really like the way you guys jump in there and defend the Snob. I would but I do not have enough seniority. Maybe next tome. Get it? BGW you even spelled his name right. Classy. He's a real dude that makes me laugh and that's enough. One time milk came out of my nose. I was not even drinking milk.

C'mon bikesgonemild, the Tilford comments are good. The obnoxious, repetitive, over the top boasting and unrequited one-upmanship is a funny angle - though somewhat derivative of old Chuck Norris jokes - and obviously done in good humour. I personally won't visit the site as I am morally opposed to Tilford's hair style, but if he gets some extra traffic from the comments, good luck.

Regarding Fatty, well you know the old saying: "Never trust a fat cyclist". Well... hang on a minute that's not right. Perhaps it was: "Never trust Contador's chef". I can't remember... my point is that I've checked Fatty's blog a couple times over the years and had a laugh, yet I don't feel inclined to stalk him like I stalk Snob. In Snob's absence I had look at the book review to get what little stalking fix I could and I thought it was nicely done.

Re Tilford,In all earnestness, the man is a hero to many of us. I agree the hairstyle is a bit much but does'nt that say something about the man? To me, it says, bold, Samson-ish virility and a not so subtle middle finger to age and the vagaries of style. But I digress, Tilford is riding the ride while most of us whine, worry and buy "faster" wheel sets. Plus, he drives the fuck all over the place to get to these races and build fences and shit and he does it in an old white van. How fucking real is that? Suck it is right you Audi A4 driving twits.

Drizzly this morning in Chicago, and on my ride to work I saw another guy, riding slowly, holding a big yellow-and-green-striped umbrella in one hand. Made me smile. Maybe we'll be Dutch after all one of these days.

Tilford is the cycling blog equivalent of George Thoroughgood and the Destroyers. It's no frills and to the point. Plus him and his dog Bromont kind of resemble, which is like a canine avatar that is auto-fellatio compatable.

...as i've mentioned regarding tilford...the man's palmares speak for themselves & while i don't claim to know the man, unlike most of you, i have had the opportunity to actually speak to him & i'd credit him with being an intelligent human being...

...i do, however find his use of bike snob nyc as nothing more than means to promote traffic to his own site extremely annoying...i don't recall any of his 'contributions' being anything but that...

I don't know Steve Tilford from Adam's cat, but I also find it unseemly that we are forced to suffer through the recurrent boastful comments which are devoid of humor. If he's doing it, that's just pathetic. If he allows it in order to increase his name recognition of drive traffic to his blog, that's double pathetic.

...@ anon 2:43pm...i agree that tilford himself has always been the real deal, so either way the attempt is rather pathetic & if the comments are coming from tilford's 'friends', maybe they oughta reassess their sad little tactic...

I cannot decide what is more entertaining, the random Chuck Norris themed Tilford comments ORRR BGW getting all tweaked up about them...I did notice Tilf runs exposed/external cable routing so I will have to dock him for that. Advantage BGW.

...hey, all...bikesgonewild here & i'd like you all to go to my 'kickfarter' page where i'm going to ask you to help contribute $100,000.00 by july 1st so that i can buy a few new bikes & spend some time working on 'my attitude' (my quote)...

...as regards fatty...eldon took umbrage with my comments in particular so i added a follow up...i'll post both here:::...

..."Mostly I’m flummoxed at a few of the comments on BSNYC’s own blog (and BikesGoneWild’s here, too) that take the position that this was an unfair, negative review."...

...my rely:::...

..."…fatty – personally, i wasn’t inferring that you were being unfair or negative but i came away feeling that while overall, you can appreciate eben’s writing, his latest book wasn’t your cup of tea simply because you felt insulated from his world...

...i used the word ‘meh’ as my ‘take away’ from your revue was that you had little enthusiasm for the book...

...eldon – as an aside…i have a dedicated copy of eben’s latest, picked up at his sf book signing & admittedly i have not yet had the time to immerse myself...therefore my experience with his "book writin’ " is predicated on his last tome & years of the snoblog...but...

...good writing has the ability transport one into the implied environment, be it physical or mental & whilst i live in a small town myself, bsnyc has always had me riding in his world, as well as my own...perhaps my allowance for such is due to my experience when i do ride in sf...

...not trying to scathe you, fatty...although i’ve spent little time at your site as of recent, i have enough respect for you so as to try & clarify my position...dunno if i accomplished that but the intent is there...

It's about tome you said that. OKAAAAAAAAYYY Thank God my new cleats came in so now I have something to do besides watch these comments spiral out of control (I told you they would, I lobbied hard for the "no anon rule" BUTTTTT NOOOOOOOOOOO you said, WE WILL BEEEE FINNNNNNEE you said, we are all adults here you said, whatev. Anyhoo since I have OCD (Obsessive Cleat Disorder) It will take me about 37 hours to position them correctly and maybe things will be back to nerdmal by then. Or not.

BGW, you seem to have met a lot of notable people in your time, I need to get out more. I wouldn't claim to know Tilford, being on the whole other side of the planet and all, I just know of the legend, and the hair. It's just another topical vehicle to latch onto and write stupid things about. For example, McFly called him "Tilf", so given the man crush there is for him I'm really tempted to make a word play on MILF...

Now, if you want money, you ought to get some legal advice about suing Dominos Pizza for use of your proprietary, trademarked dots.

...music n' bikes...kinda been immersed in both of 'em, one way or another for the last 45 years...plus living in the sf bay area, well, what can i say ???...

...wishiwasmerckx...fatty'd might have more people in his corner but i'd search out my lookalike, george 'the animal' steele (ask mikeweb - he's seen me) & learn the secret to the dastardly 'flying hammerlock'...

...let's just see how well that fatcyclist could type up a blog after my crushing digital dismemberment...

Anon 7:50,Take it easy on The Chive at work son, it will jam your processor up bigtime, just too much damn cleavage for an intel core I3. That's a tough one to explain to HR, "Well Carol, you see what happened...."

Fuckin' Steve Tilfords van just rolled 300,000 miles and all he has to say is THAT'S NOT THAT MANY MILES REALLY...fuckin' Tilly, hell his pushmower probably has 23,871 hours on it WITH THE ORIGINAL BLADE UNBENT IN ALL IT'S GLORY...you guys suck in comparison. Helena would dump you in the wink of a browneye for him.

A couple of interesting links on this piece about how we got the roads we've got.

On the same site where the early safety film is linked, is a Trip Down Market Street which is exactly what it sounds like except it was filmed in 1906 before the San Francisco fire. Hair-raising. Makes my commute look sane. Some bikes, even a salmoning car!

...here's a little something to remind folks about when the whine about cyclists being on the roads...

..."The Good Roads Movement was officially founded in May 1880, when bicycle enthusiasts, riding clubs and manufacturers met in Newport, Rhode Island to form the League of American Wheelmen to support the burgeoning use of bicycles and to protect their interests from legislative discrimination. The League quickly went national and in 1892 began publishing Good Roads Magazine. In three years circulation reached a million. Early movement advocates enlisted the help of journalists, farmers, politicians and engineers in the project of improving the nation's roadways, but the movement took off when it was adopted by bicyclists"...

Let's play a game. You leave a comment anonomously based loosely in your prose/style and to keep it fair and plausable it needs to be a topical vehicle which you may have referred to in the past. Hey I'm just trying to keep this thread alive one more day, don't shoot the bike messenger. I will go first...are you ready: Once upon a time sex.

I learned something today. Thank you BGW. Newport is great to ride in town, as is Ocean Drive ect. It's wicked short though. There is no bike access on the bridge and few north-south routes are suitable. There are plans for an island long shore path, but Navy property is involved. That bit of history you shared is rather relevant.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!