Sunday, September 2, 2012

2012-13 NFL Season Predictions

All the preseason games have been played. The seemingly never-ending wave of player cuts have finally ended, and the scraps have been picked off the heap. Al Michaels has perfected his "Out with a ..." voice. Bob Costas has saddled his high horse and is ready to ride again. Frank Caliendo is...well, Frank's doing something with his life now. Not sure what that is. Wang has sharpened his homer tendencies to a fine point. Gregg Williams is banging Thai hookers and competing in underground fight competitions abroad. I'm still working on my British accent and fighting to make myself believe 'The Dark Knight Rises' wasn't as disappointing as I thought.

So, here's some preseason predictions sure to blow up in my face. And let's throw in some of the greatest hits of the 80s. You know, for the shit of it. (Aside: Why aren't there exclusive 80s stations on terrestrial radio? Jesus Christ, you'd make a fucking mint off that shit. There was enough versatility in the 80s. Quality versatility, at that.)

AFC South

1. Houston Texans (10-6) *

2. Tennessee Titans (8-8)

3. Indianapolis Colts (6-10)

4. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-12)

AFC North

1. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5) *

2. Baltimore Ravens (11-5) *

3. Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)

4. Cleveland Browns (6-10)

AFC West

1. Denver Broncos (10-6) *

2. San Diego Chargers (10-6) *

3. Kansas City Chiefs (9-7)

4. Oakland Raiders (6-10)

AFC East

1. New England Patriots (12-4) *

2. Buffalo Bills (9-7)

3. New York Jets (6-10)

4. Miami Dolphins (5-11)

NFC East

1. New York Giants (10-6) *

2. Dallas Cowboys (9-7)

3. Philadelphia Eagles (6-10)

4. Washington Redskins (5-11)

NFC West

1. San Francisco 49ers (11-5) *

2. Seattle Seahawks (8-8)

3. Arizona Cardinals (6-10)

4. St. Louis Rams (4-12)

NFC North

1. Green Bay Packers (12-4) *

2. Chicago Bears (10-6) *

3. Detroit Lions (7-9)

4. Minnesota Vikings (5-11)

NFC South

1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (10-6) *

2. New Orleans Saints (10-6) *

3. Atlanta Falcons (8-8)

4. Carolina Panthers (7-9)

AFC Playoffs, Round 1
HOUSTON d. San Diego
DENVER d. Baltimore

AFC Playoffs, Round 2
Houston d. PITTSBURGH
NEW ENGLAND d. Denver

AFC Championship
NEW ENGLAND d. Houston

NFC Playoffs, Round 1
Chicago d. TAMPA BAY
NEW YORK d. New Orleans

NFC Playoffs, Round 2
GREEN BAY d. New York
SAN FRAN d. Chicago

NFC Championship
GREEN BAY d. San Francisco

Super Bowl XLVII
Green Bay v. New England

Ah, but just HOW will the Saints arrive at that record? That post is coming later this week.