________________________________________ Did you enjoy this article? Enter your email here to be notified when new content is published!

You’re going to be tied to this person socially, romantically, financially, perhaps even legally. It is easy to see that marrying this man is a risky venture.

Whatever their set of unique gifts and problems turn out to be, you are going to have to live with them and build a happy life in their midst. Perhaps he’ll get sober and stay that way, but the risk that he won’t and the consequences of that choice are great. I know he has a problem, but what kind of person would I be to abandon him?

For this reason, selfish people can never love another, because they will be less willing to compromise.

This will inevitably lead to one partner giving more of themselves than the other, which can cause resentment or confusion about feelings that are, or aren’t expressed.

When it comes to marriage partners who can give and sacrifice for each other it is absolutely vital. I’m comfortable saying you should be absolutely self-obsessed during your search for a partner. As a person who is compassionate you want to help him, because you love him.

I also believe that daters who practice a spirit of selflessness during their serious dating period often don’t end up with compatible partners. If you’re thinking about a serious relationship, you’ve got to be able to determine whether this new romantic interest is going to be a good partner…for a looooooong time. He has times of peace and health, but a bender is always around the corner and when he drinks he’s terrible.

It is often forgotten that compromise needs to go both ways in order to actually be effective.