There is a ridiculous phenomenon in parenting that involves being in a huge rush to see your precious child do something new and then immediately regretting that because OMG WHAT WAS I THINKING. This happens all the time and continues even with the second child because of course you didn’t learn your damn lesson with the first one.

The first major example is being super excited to see your child crawl for the first. Then it happens there is clapping and video is taken and everyone is so.unbelievably.excited. Fast forward about an hour and you are already wondering why you wanted that child crawling because they have managed to try to eat anything they can get their chunky little hands on and have tried to play in the cat litter (no of course that didn’t happen in my house….).

I was never in a big rush to see my children crawl, or walk because mobile children always terrified me. There are stairs and outlets not to mention all the general debris and aforementioned cat litter. Having to chase children around and keep them from all those hazards? No thank you.

My particular developmental hang up was talking. I remember being hugely anxious to hear my son talk. Of course like anything else with Nathan’s development he waited to talk until he was ready. Nate waited until right before Kaitlyn was born (he was 23 months old) to start adding new words on the regular. I was thrilled! He was talking this is what I was waiting for! I am an idiot.

It turns out when toddlers start talking they never stop talking. Life becomes a constant barrage of statements, demands, questions, more questions, and then even more questions. From when they wake up until when they go to bed the stream of sounds coming out of their mouths never ends. Now don’t get me wrong, my son says some incredibly cute things on a daily basis. I just want a few moments of silence every once in a while. I would also like a Unicorn. It’s nice to want things I suppose.

Now I find myself back in exactly the same situation with Kaitlyn. She’ll be 20 months old on Friday and I’m anxious to hear her talk. She’s following right along in his pattern of having a few choice words and a phrase or two that she uses but hasn’t had that language explosion that I’m holding my breath for. It’s making me insane. It’s not that I’m worried about it developmentally. My gut tells me she’ll have an avalanche of words when she’s ready just like Nathan did. The insanity is coming from my overwhelming desire to hear her talk. Nathan is a constant reminder of what will happen when she does start talking but yet I NEED to hear it.

Parenting feels like this constant loop of insanity. Even with a second child you forget and turn all crazy about something even when you know the outcome. I know once she talks she will never shut up. I KNOW IT ALL TOO WELL. Yet I can’t stop myself from desperately wanting to hear her say words. Seriously brain? We’re really doing this? Go home you are drunk.

While I hem and haw over my excitement/terror for more impending language from the tiniest Stryker, let me leave you with a video of a word she can say. Spoiler: this is really damn cute and you may explode from the adorable. ELEDENT! Click here to go check it out. (I don’t have embedded video currently on this blog. I’ll fix it. I’m just being lazy.)

I feel that way with Sammy already. I worked in a preschool so you would think that I could wait for him to get older… but with each new trick I’m all excited. I keep asking myself if I really want him to get older… 😉 Also- OH GOD THE CAT LITTER.