Sunday, August 23, 2009

Baaadddd Date.

So. Dude from Ogden, who we shall refer to as "L", came up to Logan and took me out on date. Dope! I mean he's a way nice dude, and I got free food from Olive Garden, so why not.

Well the date started out well. I wore this really cute little outfit and it was never awkward between the two of us. So dinner was good. We pretty much got our food immediately and it tasted FABULOUS. Then we somehow got on the subject of sex and why people do it and what it means to different people, etc. Then things got weird.

We left the restaurant and were going to go to a movie, but due the the odd sex talk, I didn't quite feel ok to go sit in a dark movie theatre with the dude. So I asked him that since he was so familiar with Logan and I was not, if he would show me the main places to be and hang out and all that. So we drove around and he was very nice and showed me the places yada yada. But then. You could tell he wanted to be, well, not in the car driving around..........So I told him it was about time I head home for the night. When we got to my apartment, I made a really bad decision and invited him in. He went into my room and sat right down. Next thing I know he's telling me all about his "abusive childhood." He began with telling me how is best friend, Bean, is the "ying to his yang." He said the following, and I quote as directly as possible:

"When I was 10, my mom left my father and took me and my sister and brother to California. She married this guy who was really mean to us. They used to beat me. I have no scars. They were very smart about it, see. (long pause) They used a wooden paddle that had hearts engraved into it and the words "welcome." She hangs it on her door to this day. This is when my mental disorder began.

One day I decided to leave. I was 12. I told her I was leaving and called my dad and he was there within 9 hours. He went 800 miles in 9 hours.

When I got back home, my disorder was pretty developed. I was always angry, I threw things, yelled for no reason. So when I got back into school, I didn't talk to anyone. One day, in TLC class, a boy came and sat down right next to me. I felt honored because he was really popular and I wasn't. He was really into acting and art; I was really into computers and techincal things. I only knew how to see the world in black and white. As he and I became friends, he taught me how to see the world in color. I never make an important decision without him."

So blah blah basically that's it but this whole time I'm sitting there on my chair, texting my roommate asking if she's listening to this. People. Please realize that this is our FIRST. DATE. Needless to say, I will most definitely not be going out with L again.

A memo to all dudes who take girls out on dates: DO NOT talk, mention, whisper, text, breathe, swallow, write, cry, or even so much as HINT that you had an abusive child hood on the first date. Or the second. Or even the third. OR EVEN EVER. That is something that you do not discuss until after you are engaged. And maybe even not then. We don't care that you had a hard childhood. Becuase you know why? Everyone says that. If you are expecting our sympathy, do not bring up an abusive childhood. Maybe bring up how you didn't make your high school foot ball team, or maybe even how you got a bad score on a test. But NEVER. NEVER. tell me about your messed up past on the first date.