Shower Thoughts

Today in the shower, where I do most of my best thinking, I was whining softly to myself about how tired I am, how hard I’m fighting with myself to stay positive and outraged, walking the fine line of anger and activism, how I can’t focus on plots or stanzas because of this administration and the ongoing and necessary resistance – and then I gave myself a good smack.

If I am struggling this year, imagine how my black friends have felt for the last forever?

We talk a good talk about bringing POC to the creative table, but how hard are they struggling just to create when they feel unsafe? Unappreciated? Angry? Invisible? Words I don’t fully comprehend as other than shades of my own privilege?

I’d like to reach out on this platform to the white readers here and ask you…how have you made a person of color’s creative space safer? Are you doing everything you can to move stumbling blocks in their path? Can you dedicate part of your space to someone who needs it?

If you are a person of color, I’m sorry for being so quiet, for thinking I wasn’t racist. I was raised in Maryland and thought I understood. Thought my quiet outrage was enough. I didn’t even know our state flag’s history despite being taught Maryland history in school. We lived in the heart of Civil War history, and I was still so uneducated because I was being taught by peope with an agenda.

I’m probably still wrong in a lot of ways, but I want to learn.

You have to want the education. To change. To grow. To feel uncomfortable in your realization. To be so damned miserable sitting in your own stink that you get up to do the hard work of cleaning up your messes.

If you have the space, share it. If you have the voice, offer it. Money, donate. Time, volunteer. On and on and on. If you aren’t outraged, you aren’t paying attention AND if you aren’t exhausted, you aren’t doing the work.