An Italian circus has been busted for passing off chow chow puppies—dyed black and white—as pandas. Via UPI, we hear that they were charging children to take pictures with the creatures, who, being chow chow puppies and tremendously adorable, are not pandas, even if you dye them black and white. »12/23/14 3:00pm 12/23/14 3:00pm

These coldblooded cubs will do anything not to take their medicine. They even will brutally and savagely attack their caretaker—well as brutally and as savagely as panda cubs can. »11/02/14 4:40pm 11/02/14 4:40pm

This baby panda was born in 2013 and is now big enough to explore and run wild with our emotions. There is not a more perfect way to kickoff 2014 than with an adorable baby panda, playing on a pony ride. OMG I want to watch the baby panda rock back and forth all day. And then he (or she?) falls on his (or her??)… »1/01/14 11:30pm 1/01/14 11:30pm

I love the one who keeps eating, like "fuuuuuck this; more bamboo for me, bitches." For the record, this is almost exactly what my family looks and behaves like on Thanksgiving and the panda still chowing down? That's me. (Nothing but NOTHING slows me down when it comes to mashed potatoes.) »11/25/13 11:30pm 11/25/13 11:30pm

The most adorable job in the world is also the least rewarding job in the world: teaching panda cubs how to climb a tree. The little pandas really can't manage it, and there's no way to encourage them because they're pandas, a species immune to all forms of human encouragement. »11/10/13 4:00pm 11/10/13 4:00pm

Zoo Atlanta finally got around to naming its panda twins yesterday, so let this serve as your formal introduction to Mei Lun and Mei Huan. Mei Lun wants to be an astronaut one day, but Mei Huan already shows signs of not living up to his full potential and has vague plans to start an Internet squee company. Or… »10/24/13 10:30pm 10/24/13 10:30pm

One potential casualty of the looming (constitutionally mandated that I use the word "looming" in reference to government shutdown- Article 12, Section 6, HISTORY: LEARN IT) government shutdown isn't the jobs of hundreds of thousands of federal employees or even my sanity, after having to listen to the yammering of… »9/30/13 6:40pm 9/30/13 6:40pm

In this Monday Sept. 23, 2013 photo, staff members arrange panda cubs in a crib for photos at the Giant Panda Breeding and Research Base in Chengdu, in southwest China's Sichuan province. Fourteen panda cubs were shown to the public at the base on Monday. (AP Photo) »9/29/13 3:30pm 9/29/13 3:30pm

Break out the pink cigars (NOT A EUPHEMISM, KEVIN) and the unattainable beauty standards—the Smithsonian Zoo just announced that their newborn baby panda is a girl! Born August 23, the cub is reportedly squeaky and healthy, and paternity tests determined that her father is the Smithsonian's own Tian Tian. (Her… »9/05/13 6:45pm 9/05/13 6:45pm

During the act of sexual intercourse and all the various steps leading up to it, it's important to make sure that you and your partner(s) are on the same page, lest the experience go to shambles. This is a sentence I wish I could say to Tian Tian and Mei Xiang, panda residents of the National Zoo, who have missed… »8/28/13 3:20pm 8/28/13 3:20pm

WASHINGTON, DC - AUGUST 25: In this handout photo provided by Smithsonian's National Zoo, the giant panda cub born on August 23 at the Smithsonian's National Zoo receives an exam from animal care staff on August 25, 2013 in Washington, DC. Chief veterinarian Suzan Murray reports that the cub is robust, has a steady…»8/25/13 4:00pm 8/25/13 4:00pm

After about two months waiting with baited breath for the 36-hours window in which the giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang would have species-prolonging intercourse and give the British Isles a delightful baby panda, scientists at the Edinburgh Zoo announced that, because Tian Tian was showing signs that were not… »4/21/13 1:00pm 4/21/13 1:00pm