"It's anything but a minivan," said David Mondragon, Ford's general manager of marketing. "In our mind, it's a people mover. We think of it as more of a utility, or kind of a hybrid sport utility, than a minivan."

Mondragon says the m-word is too polarizing and turns off Ford's target customers: 30- to 42-year-old parents who grew up with minivans and like their utility but don't want to sacrifice style. At one point, Ford even considered calling the wagon a "you-tility," but it turned out another carmaker already had dibs on that one.

Translation: "I'm going to tell you a lie and then explain why the truth is financially inconvenient." Farking marketers.