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Monday, January 25, 2010

My Downer Day

OK, so I was having a downer of a day yesterday. I was reading my sister Shawni's blog where her husband and kids wrote all these sweet things about her for her birthday (all of which I agree with whole-heartedly) and I wondered if my husband and kids would ever be able to say such nice things about me. So I started feeling down about myself as a mother and wife. Then I looked at my week and felt overwhelmed by all the things I need to do for Joy School and The Power of Moms and the kids' school - and started wondering if all this "extra" stuff I'm always doing really matters or if I'm just sort of running on a treadmill, getting nowhere at all but tiring myself out like crazy. My poor husband got the brunt of all my overwhelmed and frustrated feelings that don't entirely make sense now that I look back on them (I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes). I know it's awfully easy to fall into the "Compare Snare" (read my friend Allyson's great article on this here if you want). I know it's not healthy to compare. I know I need to do what feels right and take things bit by bit and not look at the big end goal and get overwhelmed. But sometimes I'm weak and I fall into these traps.

Anyway, my husband consoled me as best he could but I had a counterpoint about how I really wasn't very good to go with every positive point he brought up - so he gave up after a while and left me to wallow in my negativity. I did ultimately listen to some of what he said and recognize the validity of his points - he's so good to me. And I went to bed feeling better about things. Then this morning, here's what I found in my email in-box:

a note from the local newspaper editor saying they would be running a story about the Power of Moms this week (so nice to see all the press releases and working to network with other mom websites starting to pay off)

a whole bunch of blog comments dating back to last September that somehow just showed up today - many of them where wonderfully kind comments about things I'd said on this blog that really made a difference to people (I'd been wondering whether all these things I keep throwing out there were actually helping anyone).

an email from "Ladies that Launch" with the title "Protect yourself from Negativity" - pretty clearly talking to me there.

an email from my friend April linking to a great new article she wrote about taking small steps and not getting overwhelmed - Just Begin.

an email from LDS "Daily Gems" offering this reminder: "I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little" (2 Nephi 28:30)

OK. I got the message. I love how the Lord sends us messages in so many different ways. Today He used my email inbox - since He knows that's were I got first thing each morning. I'm sorry for allowing myself to spiral down into familiar old traps. I can move forward now. Those shots in the arm really helped. I'm so blessed with inspiration if I can just stay open to it!

7 comments:

You are one of the most amazing people I know. I just happen to have a daughter who's so thoughtful as well as being into blogging who had a bright idea to write some nice stuff. We all know I could write lists and lists of the not-so-nice stuff. Just go back to your birthday lists if you ever need a pick-me-up...you are one adored and amazingly talented woman.

I'm glad you had a better day today. I'm sorry I hadn't seen this before I talked to you.

Thank you SO much:-) I think you are AMAZING as well and I know the big guy upstairs does too! Your post put a huge smile on my face, mainly because I get in those moods every once in a while thinking the same things you do, but think I am the only one who must be feeling that way, that all the other women out there are confident and are so patient all the time with their kids and blah blah blah. Anyway, THANK YOU for keeping it real:-)

BTW, my twiner told me about your blog tonight and I am SO grateful she did!

Jonah always reads your blogs off of the blog reader so they get erased I don't know you've posted something until like a week later! Sorry you were having such a hard time, but I'm glad your email gave you a booster shot! Hang in there. In the very least, you live in a beautiful spot and have mostly nice neighbors. :)If you ever feel like blog comparing, just read seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com... its my comedic kick when I feel too unperfect.Miss you guys! -Aja

Saren, I wish I'd read this last week! You are so good to be able to keep going and doing wonderful things--even when you are having a "Downer Day." I love how you are so honest on your blog--we (speaking for the rest of the commenters) all feel like such close friends that you're willing to allow into your personal thoughts! I think there needs to be an article on Power of Moms called, "How to Navigate the Blog World Without Thinking You Stink." Maybe I'll work on that for my column. You're right about doing everything in our power to avoid the "Compare Snare" because we'll lose every time. Your talents and skills are so unique, and you are a wonderful, wonderful friend. Love you!