Making Go Go from Maggie

Published 4:51 pm, Sunday, November 18, 2012

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Professional clown Leo Desilets helps Advocate writer Maggie Gordon with her makeup during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday. less

Professional clown Leo Desilets helps Advocate writer Maggie Gordon with her makeup during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the ... more

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Professional clown Leo Desilets helps Advocate writer Maggie Gordon with her makeup during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday. less

Professional clown Leo Desilets helps Advocate writer Maggie Gordon with her makeup during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the ... more

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Photo: Keelin Daly

Image 6 of 15

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Advocate writer Maggie Gordon fixes her makeup with puffs of powder during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday. less

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon fixes her makeup with puffs of powder during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon ... more

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Professional clown coach Emily Season helps Advocate writer Maggie Gordon with her makeup during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday. less

Professional clown coach Emily Season helps Advocate writer Maggie Gordon with her makeup during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown ... more

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Professional clown coach Emily Season helps Advocate writer Maggie Gordon with her makeup during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday. less

Professional clown coach Emily Season helps Advocate writer Maggie Gordon with her makeup during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown ... more

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon attends week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Advocate writer Maggie Gordon adjusts her hair bow during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon adjusts her hair bow during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Advocate writer Maggie Gordon completes her transformation during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday. less

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon completes her transformation during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade ... more

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Advocate writer Maggie Gordon practices some moves during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon practices some moves during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Advocate writer Maggie Gordon adjusts her wig during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Advocate writer Maggie Gordon adjusts her wig during week two of clown college at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Conn., Nov. 14, 2012. Gordon will be a clown during the USB balloon parade Sunday.

Photo: Keelin Daly

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Making Go Go from Maggie

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Becoming a clown requires more than a red foam nose and some white grease paint. As I've learned over the past couple weeks, it requires introspection, innovation and a healthy dose of innocence.

And yes, grease paint.

On Wednesday evening, about three dozen aspiring clowns parked themselves in front of mirrors, perched upon round tables spread throughout a conference room at the Stamford Marriott to begin the makeover. At the beginning of the evening, I was a 26-year-old reporter, clad in a blue T-shirt and black yoga pants, wearing a bit of bronzer and mascara on my face and a long brown ponytail. But by the end, I was Go Go the Clown, proudly sporting a Raggedy Ann-style dress and frilly bloomers with short, sun-yellow pin curls dangling around my head.

The transformation wasn't easy.

There are three kinds of clowns: Auguste, White Face, and the Hobo or Tramp Clown. I knew for certain that I didn't want to be a Hobo -- they just seem a little gloomy for my taste -- but was having trouble deciding between the Auguste and White Face. Our clown instructor Emily Season explained the difference between the two options, and the distinction is more than just grease-paint deep.

Auguste clowns are the straight-up silliest of the pack, and they have the longest history. For the most part, the Auguste plays the fool. As Season explained, they're the clowns that have no idea what they're doing in their routine, blowing up a balloon backwards, or accidentally letting it go so it whizzes out of their hands. But in the end, their balloon is perfect. Typically, they wear flesh-colored paint on their face, and then outline their mouth and eyes with colored paint to accentuate their expressions.

The White Face clowns are a newer phenomenon, and they're a bit higher strung than their counterparts. Unlike the Auguste, the White Face clowns know exactly what to do with their balloon, mini-bicycle or the bowling pins they're juggling. They do everything right. But in the end, it's a total disaster. Not surprisingly, the White Face clowns paint their faces ghost-white before adding their exaggerations.

The two work together, playing off each other's yin and yang. As the perfectionist White Face clown meticulously works with his props, the Auguste garners giggles through his trial and error. In the end, the White Face generates laughter from the audience with his failed exercise, while the Auguste rejoices in his ta-da moment.

As a high-strung, type-A kind of person who's no stranger to failure, I figured I'd go full on Ronald McDonald and aim for a White Face clown. So I listened to Ron Maslanka, who is Season's father and another trainer for the parade pack of clowns, as he explained just how to find your face.

"Kind of sit at the mirror and play with your face. Move your mouth. Look at the lines around your eyes," he told us, as he sat in front of a mirror swishing his cheeks from left to right and scrunching his face. A lifetime of clown-sized smiles have turned the former Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus performer's face into a malleable billboard for emotion, and I could clearly see where the red outline of his mouth was going to end when he put his Auguste makeup -- just at the inside of his laughter lines.

"Don't think of clown makeup as a mask. It doesn't hide you, it helps you express yourself," he said, before effortlessly dipping his fingers into the makeup and splashing on a masterpiece of a face in minutes.

Hmm. Simple.

I looked into my mirror, scrunching my face, and for once acknowledging the folds and creases that have begun becoming evident on my skin in the last couple years. "Yeah, I can do this," I thought. I began by rubbing my finger into the circle of white paint set out in front of me, wiggling it in a clockwise motion until I had enough to attack my face. Then I began padding it on, one index-fingerprint at a time across my whole face.

Yeah. Simple.

I spent the white-facing time thinking about what my next step would be, as Keelin Daly, The Advocate photographer chronicling my clown college experience, suggested we try a blue eye makeup. So when I was done with my face, I began spreading the blue from the very bottoms of my eyelid, all the way to my eyebrows. Then I looked in the mirror for a long moment: I looked like a sugared-up 4-year-old who'd raided her mother's makeup stash, before wreaking havoc on her own face, Jackson Pollock style.

"Oh no," Season said, walking over to me like a babysitter approaching a toddler who's just dumped a jar of spaghetti sauce on the kitchen floor and tracked footprints across the room. "What are you doing there?"

Season suggested "less might be more" with the makeup, much as my big sister, Sarah, explained to me when I was 14 and trying to figure out how to apply sparkly eye shadow for the first day of ninth grade. Back then my sister had warned me about looking like a clown if I used too much; on Wednesday I found out it was possible to wear too much for even a clown.

After a few more screw-ups (apparently clowns aren't supposed to paint their top lips, because it hides their human elements and can sometimes frighten small children -- and don't even get me started on my first nose-reddening attempt), and a couple visits from my clown mentors to help me straighten out my missteps, I was ready to set the paint by tapping a sock full of baby powder all over my face. That was followed by a brief coughing fit.

Once my face was set, I tried on my costume -- a smorgasbord of polka-dots and bright colors -- rolled up my bumble-bee style socks to my knees, and gave a quick ta-da and smile for the camera. Making Go Go from Maggie wasn't an easy process, but I'm happy with the end result.