Crushing Depression

hi Everyone- I'm really bummed out. Low low low low. I got glutened last week feeding dogs dog treats, then again last weekend on a trip to NYC despite all the precautions I took and then again last night (pretty sure the last two were cross-contamination issues in restaurants) but this last glutening was really bad and even though my physical symptoms have started to lessen, I have been irritable, frustrated and bawled my eyes out every single afternoon/evening since Wednesday. I just feel like I can't take it anymore (the mood swings). It's so frustrating to try so hard and still get sick.

I feel like the worst wife in the world (I just married the love of my life in October and he has been through so much with me in the 7 years we have been together (a major depression, the very painful death of my mother from cancer 2 years ago, all the testing for Celiac and so supportive of me on the diet) but I feel like he deserves better. One minute I'm so nice to him and the next I'm criticizing him for every little thing (so out of character for me). Today, I finally just told him not to listen to anything I said (that was critical of him).

I'm just at my wit's end. I am on medication for depression and anxiety but I feel like it's not working (I'm wondering if I just didn't absorb any while I was so sick). I just need some hugs and I knew you guys were the right place to come to. Sometimes, I just want to give up. Thanks for listening, Beverly

Sending you lots of hugs right now and also lots of understanding of what you are going through - shall we say "Been there, done that, been there again"????

I am one who gets on an emotional roller coaster when I am glutened (and even sometimes when I am not!!!!)

I am on both Prozac and Wellbutrin which works well for me. We considered switching to a newer brand of anti-depressant, but since it took so long to get the right combination that worked for me, we don't want to mess with it.....

Something I would like to suggest to you which worked wonders for me was a book that my doctor recommended to me and it was a godsend. It is called "Mind over Mood". I can't remember the author and I haven't been able to find my copy since we moved, but it is a large, soft-cover book, and is showing in studies to work wonders for mood swings and depression. My doctor recommended it to me because of the huge waiting list to get in to any type of therapy, but after reading the book and doing the exercises, I feel I no longer need any type of "outside" assistance to deal with my mood swings and depression.

One of the worst things you can do to yourself is continue to beat yourself up. This book helped me see how I was doing that to myself in so many ways and actually helped me take control of things that before I would have let them control me.....

There is a light at the end of the tunnel but we get ourselves into such a dark corner that we just don't see it, but IT IS THERE! Go tell your husband right now that you love him, appreciate how supportive and understanding he is, and that he is the best thing that ever happened in your life and that you count your blessings every day that you have him and know how luck you are to have found him. Ask him to hang in there, and that you are doing everything in your power to get off of this emotional roller coaster ride.

Biopsy August 2006 confirmed complete villous atrophy despite being gluten-free for years and bloodwork within range showing compliance with diet. Doctor has confirmed diagnosis of Refractory Celiac Sprue.Endoscopy also showed numerous stomach ulcers, have started taking Losec.

I so know how you feel. I don't think that I have been getting glutened, but I have been finding it really hard to come to terms with this condition emotionally. I have only been gluten free for about 5 weeks and food has become my obsession. I hate how my life has become about food and that this disease is impacting on so much of my life.
I also feel so bad for my husband. We have only been married for 3 months and I was diagnosed 1 month into our marriage. I feel like; he didn't marry this, and I feel so bad for now inflicting this on his life as well.
I am also snapping at him, and he is so fanastic to me and understanding that I feel so guilty about putting him through it.

I can't give you any advice, but can compeltley understand. Just remember, he loves you and he is choosing you and your life togehter (the good, bad and ugly) that means that he will understand all of this crap and still be there for you - that is his job.

Thanks you guys- you made my night. Hugs back to both of you! Karen- I have heard of the book and will definitely check it out. I just talked to my hubby and I told him I loved him. We have a little joke- I apologized to him for being fine this week. FINE= F'd up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. We had a good chuckle. Beverly