Carla is a mother, humorist and writer. She writes about life, art, politics and the things that scare her.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Now You've Made me Angry

Today the blog offers no inspiration and will involve the liberal use of derogatory compound words. It that’s not your thing, read no further.

I received a very toxic blog comment this morning from a man ( yes I’m sure it’s a man) accusing me of faking ALS to what end I’m not sure. Apparently this motherfucker thinks a publicity stunt is worth breaking the hearts of my family, possibly bankrupting my dad and taxing my friends beyond all reasonable measure.

Apparently, getting attention is so important to me that the fact that I got a TON of it on stage and in the classroom in my cushy tenured job I’ve had to leave ,that I would eagerly ruin my son’s life, fill my pretty apartment with ugly durable medical equipment, be awake, and truly alone and in tears at 4am, aspirate on food and water, spend money I don’t have on a recording where I fake sounding worse than I ever have before, eliminate the possibility that any man would be interested in a long term relationship, watch my body get flabby from inactivity, live in fear of falling when no one’s around, be sore from not being able to move said body around, be stuck in a fucking bathroom for half an hour because I can’t open the door, sit apart from the rest of a group because I can’t get up or down the stairs and noting that the lithium doesn’t seem to be working because I’m progressing rapidly.

How dare you?

Maybe I did you some wrong or perceived wrong but how does that make saying such things okay? What did I do to you to justify this bullshit? If your feelings are legit, why the cowardly anonymous comment, why not tell me to my face? You are a douche bag, that’s why.

On behalf of my friends who work so damn hard for me, for my son who faces losing his mother, for my brother and his family too far away to help, my parents and other brother, particularly my dad who can’t sleep at night and who dreamt I had ALS before I was even diagnosed I would like to emphatically state: “Get some therapy you sick fuck and get a life.”

PS – you mention that part of my scam is a miracle cure. Well guess what? I would happily have a hundred motherfuckers like you accusing me of faking this if I could find a cure so I could watch my son turn into a man, meet my grandchildren, outlive my parents and die with gray hair. Furthermore – I deal with ALS every day with a smile on my face and a laugh for the world.. Do you really think a cruel cocksucker’s anonymous late night ramblings can drag me down? You underestimate me, shitbag.

11 comments:

Amazing what the relative anonymity of the Internet emboldens some people to say. I'm sorry this guy felt the need to butter you with his bile. Some folks have their disease on their soul and feel the need to spread it as much as possible. I hope you have a great day today that will wipe this nastiness from your mind and consign this guy to oblivion.

It is at a time like this that I wish I had a way with words such as you do. You put it beautifully, this man is Crap, yes with a capital "C". Put his words in the dust bin and thow it out. The garbage is where he deserves to be.

Glad you released this so articulately in the morning, and then share so much of your spirit and artistry at the afternoon wedding! It was a complete pleasure to hear you sing and facilitate the union. Thank you.

Glad you released this so articulately in the morning, and then share so much of your spirit and artistry at the afternoon wedding! It was a complete pleasure to hear you sing and facilitate the union. Thank you.

People are just crazy aren't they? A good example of how ugly cynicism is and how it can ruin the soul of a person - just another product of our wonderful American, narcissistic culture. my husband thought Randy Pausch was kidding. guess not.

Carla,It’s taken me a while to respond to your “angry” blog because I’ve been devastated that you misread what I was trying to say. OF COURSE I know that you have ALS, and I’m inexpressibly saddened by it. My post was a plea that maybe, somehow, it really wasn’t true. It was a supplication that your whole terrible suffering is just a fantasy that only your brilliance as a performer could conjure.

I have so much admiration and respect for you as a person and as a performer that I would never want to hurt. I’m terribly sorry that in my attempts at cleaverness, I did. Please accept my deepest apologies.

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About Me

I used to be a solo performer, singer, writer, director, actor and college teacher. Now I have ALS so all that's left is writing. I'm curious. I have an amazing son named Mac who is 16 and wise beyond MY years and who tells me I'm good looking for someone who is dying and old which is worse than saying nothing but i still love it. I am playful and I love life more than I can express.