Saturday, May 18, 2013

Things began to pick up for me
recordwise when in 1971 I wrote "She's a Lady" for Tom Jones. The
first meeting I had with Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdinck, and Gordon Mills,
their manager, they came to my home in New
York and we tried to make a deal for my publishing
company. It's late at night, and we were watching a movie at my house and they
are all drinking champagne. The next day I woke up, looked in the living room,
and my wife, being a significant decorator, and I were shocked to find all our
bowls of potpourri empty. They had eaten all of it thinking it was potato
chips.

[...]
But perhaps one of the most unusual and persistent requests comes from
physicians, or patients, who hope to borrow the [Houston Zoo's] MRI or CT
scanners to examine obese people.

It's
a long-standing urban legend that zoos have jumbo versions of such equipment to
help diagnose illnesses in elephants and other huge creatures. But, to the
disappointment of some doctors, zoo officials must tell them they have no such
device.

During
her five-day shift this week, zoo public affairs coordinator Cathy Kuntz logged
four calls inquiring about an MRI scanner. She surveyed local medical
facilities to determine what they have and what their weight limits are, and
shared the information with callers.

The
Guardian finds claims, counter-claims and outright denials as to whether
overweight patients have been scanned at zoos

James
Meikle

Urban
myth or unacknowledged elephant in the room? A consultant working in the x-ray
department at a west Midlands hospital has said London zoo had to scan patients who were too
obese for NHS equipment. [...]

Monday, May 13, 2013

During
our church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally
charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she
told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I'm usually not
such a big boob."

The
bishop rose to close the session and remarked, "That's okay. We like big
boobs." -- Contributed by L.S.

The
authors of this book, as well as the contributors, have given you these stories
as they remember them happening at the time. The humorous events described are
real, although artistic license was allowed in coloring dialogue or minor
details. [...]

Giles
& Beck, Mormon Mishaps, p. 6.

Oops

By
C. L. Beck

When
touched by the Spirit, people often find it difficult to contain their emotions
as they bear witness of the truthfulness of the gospel. One fast meeting, a
sister stood to bear her testimony. Holding a Kleenex to damp eyes and
struggling with her feelings, she said, "I don't do this very often because
I'm such a big boob."

After
she sat down, a member of the bishopric stepped to the pulpit. Offering what he
thought was consolation, he said, "That's okay; we like big boobs."