A Person of Interest

This was going to be a totally different blog post from the one it’s ended up being.

I WAS going to talk about how I saw an outfit a bit like this on Pinterest last week, and how it reminded me of the existence of this top and skirt, and that hey, wasn’t I planning to wear them together at some point? And shouldn’t that point be sooner, rather than later, before it gets much too cold for three-quarter length sleeves and fishnet tights?

About the tights:

I was also going to talk a bit about how these were the first tights of the season, but it’s OK, because they’re nude fishnets, and I don’t hate nude fishnets the way I hate opaque, or woollen tights, say. I would probably also have said that I really only wore them because my legs were looking even paler than usual that day, and I thought they could be doing with a bit of coverage, and gosh, wouldn’t you all have been just fascinated by that piece of information?

I was also going to mention this skirt, and how it’s the sister of this one, and one of my favourite items of clothing ever, because you don’t have to wear a petticoat with it: it just sticks out all by itself, isn’t that amazing? I would probably also have said that the photos don’t really do it justice, because it was windy, and the wind kept either blowing the skirt against my legs, or trying to blow it up over my head, and it just totally ruined my life, honestly.

I WAS going to say all of that.

But then, not two minutes after we’d started taking these photos (And I mean LITERALLY not even two minutes…), the police turned up. And told us someone had called them and told them Terry was stalking me, and that they should come round and, you know, investigate us.

And then I died of embarrassment, and just kept on dying, and now I’m writing this from beyond the grave, I’m not even joking.

(I’m totally joking.)

So, yeah. Terry the STALKER, eh? Oh, how mortified we were. And really, it was just so strange. I mean, we were in a public place, and as I said, we’d only been there for a couple of minutes, so whoever it was who called the “incident” in must have picked up the phone more or less the SECOND we arrived. Also, Terry was never any more than a few feet away from me, and was all up in my face with the camera, which I was obviously posing for. It wasn’t like he was hiding in the undergrowth with a telephoto lens, you know?

I have honestly no idea what would make someone think Terry was stalking me, or even that we were up to something suspicious. Obviously outfit blogging isn’t something the majority of people are aware of (and I realise that the sight of someone with a camera is often enough to make The Others stop in their tracks and stand there with their jaws open, regardless of the circumstances. Even at very touristy places like Disney, say, if we stop to take a snap of ourselves in front of the castle, or with Mickey Mouse, or whatever, a small crowd will gather around us, going, “Wait a darn minute, what’s going on HERE? Tourists taking PHOTOS of themselves? Why, I never heard such crazy talk in my life! Y’all from the city or somethin’?”), but even so, last I checked it has yet to be outlawed or anything like that, so… I don’t know. I just know that I was absolutely mortified. MORTIFIED. Even more so than when I flashed a roomful of people that one time. And I don’t think Terry was crazy about being mistaken for a stalker, either. The stalker.

Luckily for us, the police were really nice about it. That’s why I’m here writing this post on t’internets, not carving it onto the wall of my damp cell or something. In fact, I think they were actually pretty amused by it, and, well, you WOULD be, wouldn’t you? They seemed to realise pretty much instantly that we might be a couple of weirdos, but that we weren’t actually doing anything illegal, so they let us go, although not before they’d sat in their car for a few minutes, and, I don’t know, put out an APB or something? What’s it called, again, when they call in your registration number and get someone back at the station to plug it into a database and make sure the car isn’t stolen? Oh yeah: MORTIFYING. That’s what it’s called.

After that we didn’t really feel like taking photos any more. We just slunk off to the restaurant we’d be en route to when we made our ill-advised photo stop (We normally just stop and grab a few photos when we’re on our way out somewhere: we literally just pick somewhere on the way that isn’t too busy and looks like it might make an OK backdrop. We won’t be doing that again.) and I made sure to walk slightly behind Terry on the way in, so no one would think he was following me or anything.

Still, on the plus side, it’s nice to know that someone cared enough about my welfare to call the cops. Thank you, good Samaritan, whoever you are: as embarrassing/confusing as the whole thing was, I’d rather someone trusted their instincts and made the call, rather than just doing nothing. You never know, after all. And it’s reassuring that the police took it seriously enough to come so quickly to the rescue. Stalking is a serious issue, kids! And honestly, Terry really should stop doing it: if I’ve told him once…

All the same, I might just stick to taking pictures indoors from now on. Or, you know, not at all. I don’t want Terry to get a reputation, after all…

P.S. I just don’t understand why anyone would think Terry was a stalker? Seriously, what would make someone think that?

P.P.S. Now that I’ve had some time to think about this, I’m actually starting to think Terry IS stalking me. I mean, I’ve noticed that wherever I go, there he is, you know? In the office? There he is. In the kitchen? There he is. At our friends’ houses? Yup, Terry. I think that good Samaritan might have been on to something…

P.P.P.S. Not that anyone cares, but those are actually black stripes on my top, by the way: for some reason the camera decided to read them as blue. And it goes without saying that I spilled something on it at the restaurant and created a Mark of Death. GOD.

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30 Comments

Oh god, Amber! That is both hilarious and worrying. What was going on in the head of that good Samaritan? And why did the police need to run your car through the PNC check to establish that you weren’t doing anything illegal? Maybe this person was so outraged at those papped photos of poor Kate topless and was worrying you were being similarly – if fully-clothedly – violated?!

Well, I’m not sure they WERE doing that, so that could just be my imagination running wild: but after telling us we were free to go about our business they DID park up next to us and they sat there and waited until we got back in the car before they drove away, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they were doing something like that! (They also asked what the photos were for, and when I told them it was for a website – I didn’t feel like getting into the whole “ouftit blog” thing – they asked what it was called, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if I’m the butt of a lot of jokes down the station right now.)

But, yeah, I dunno… maybe the whole K-Mid thing has put everyone on red alert for signs of paparazzi intrusion, hee! (But, I mean, I was POSING. And he was right in front of me. There would just have been no way I could have failed to notice , you know?)

1) I would love to know what the caller said to the police to get that reaction out of them. And why you saying “Uh, yeah this my husband. I know he’s taking my picture,” wasn’t sufficient explanation. I’m actually having fun trying to come up with what the caller could have possibly though/described.

2) I’m convinced you have some sort of awesome midi-skirt radar because I can never seem to find anything that length except pencil skirts.

3) I’ve realized that I’m going to have to give up trying to post outfits daily because my husband and I aren’t both home during daylight hours during the week. How do you light the pictures you take in front of your shoe shelves?

I know! I mean, did they think it was one of those situations where as soon as they pulled up, Terry whispered to me, “One word, and you’re dead!” and although I was telling them he was my husband I was trying to frantically signal with my eyes “Help! This man has taken me hostage!”? They did also mention that the car door was open and that this was “suspicious” (we were standing right next to it and had literally planned to jump out, snap a few quick photos and jump back in), but I don’t really know how that related to me being stalked!

As for the photos, we just use the flash on the camera and then I try to lighten the pictures in Photoshop. The light in that room is horrible in the winter though (and the rest of the year, really) which is why I try to take them outside when I can. A lot of what I think are my “best” outfits go unphotographed in the winter, though, because I’ll be wearing them to go out somewhere in the evening (it’s pitch dark by 4pm here) and the light is just too bad to get a decent shot indoors!

The police actually arrived??? Blimey! I once called the police to say someone was trying to break into a car by launching themselves feet first at the window….they told me off for using the 101 number as it wasn’t an emergency!? (I thought 101 was for “alert! come now!” type things just not “OMG I am about to die” like 999 is.)

Maybe they thought Terry was grooming you for his internet catalogue of Scottish beauties to offer to Eastern European men???

And now you mention the camera thing, why DO people look on surprised when pics are being taken???

That was actually the thing that surprised us most: I know I keep going on about this (Can you tell Terry and I talked about this a LOT?) but we’d seriously only been there for a matter of minutes, and in that time someone had managed to call the police AND they’d actually turned up. I guess it must have been a slow day for them! The only thing we can think is that maybe one of the buildings near us had a security guard with some kind of hotline to them or something? But then, you’d think a security guard would just have come out and asked us himself – it would’ve been so obvious that I was posing for the pictures that I just can’t imagine how anyone would think I wasn’t aware of them being taken!

The camera thing never fails to surprise me. I remember last year when we were in San Francisco, we’d walked up Lombard Street, and it was just THRONGED with tourists: there were at least a couple of dozen people all having their photos taken at the top of the hill with the city in the background. Then, as soon as I stepped forward to have mine taken too, a group of old ladies appeared and started going, “Who IS that? Is she someone famous? Do YOU recognise her? Why is she having her photo taken?” I mean, SERIOUSLY.

Here if you called that in the police would laugh at you and tell you that unless you have a restraining order there is nothing they can do about your “stalker”.
I have noticed taking photos anywhere can cause rubber necking and full on crowds. Especially if you are planning on changing into another outfit in your car when you are parked in the middle of no where. You can be guaranteed that all of a sudden 4 more cars will appear and park right beside you.

This is just too ridiculous! The police obviously had too much time on their hands. And it would have been more than obvious what was going on really! Well, it gave you somehing very funny to write about Love the outfit and your beautifully styled hair!

Well it is pretty funny. And after many years so is the time we were pulled over on the highway in Arizona and the patrolman made my husband get out of the car & put his hands on the hood while he questioned me if I was ok, if the baby was ok, if I was sure, if I wanted to tell him anything I’d be safe…turns out they were looking for an escaped convict and mistook my flashing lights once to signal other drivers about the highway patrol speed trap for trying to signal them to stop what they thought was a carjack/kidnapping. Apparently it didn’t help that my husband had just gotten out of the Marines, was growing his beard or that our luggage was covered by an old military blanket and I was very nervous because of being pulled over with them treating my husband like a criminal.

On another note, perhaps people stop everything to stare and wonder who you are when you are getting your photo taken because you dress & look so much better than other tourists (and most other people!) Maybe you should make up a starlette persona. You’ve already got your own stalker.

hahah It’s crazy but still hilarious! So many weird things are happening to you. If this was happening in Greece the police wouldn’t have come for the next hour or so, (although I’m not sure they would have come at all). Maybe the caller had some friends in the police, and that’s why they came so fast.
I loved your outfit by the way! Very pretty and elegant, and you shouldn’t stop taking your pictures out of the house whenever you have the chance. I don’t think anything similar is going to happen to you anytime soon.

Oh my gosh, how hilarious! I sure I would have turned as red as my hair as soon as the officers showed up but like you said at least the good Samaritan was looking out for you. I must say this outfit is stunning and I’m going to have to find a similar skirt ASAP! Oh and your nude fishnets, so hot!

Oh gosh, that must have been SO embarrassing! I’m always really self-conscious about taking outside photos, even though I would like to. I was once sitting in the garden at the back of my block of flats and a man, who I’d never seen before, came across the lawn to me and started asking me why I wasn’t home very often, and all about my car. Which really really freaked me out at the time. So I definitely have no wish to be watched by him whilst trying to get my dodgy camera to sit still and self-time me some photos from it’s balancing place on one of the benches etc.

I have totally different question concerning the shoes you are wearing – are they true to size or smaller / bigger? I can only buy them through the Internet and I think you will be reliable source of information I wil be gratefull for any information.

I LOVE this outfit, but I have a question! I have the same skirt in blue, and it doesn’t stick out anywhere near as much as yours! Are there some special care instructions I’m missing? Or am I just wearing it wrong?????