You guys remember Joe bragging about his security clearance and his basement laboratory stocked with all sorts of whiz-bang equipment?

Well, I have heard from a reliable source that he just took delivery of his brand new CSI calculator.

I still have trouble believing those things can actually bake shit.

Err - Why would you want to?

Umm, I imagine if you're a child, it could seem like a good idea. That's sort of the point of the toy, right?

It's gonna be tough baking anything with a pair of mini-florescents.

Just to be clear, are you talking about Joe or the Easy Bake oven?

--------------It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it. We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

You guys remember Joe bragging about his security clearance and his basement laboratory stocked with all sorts of whiz-bang equipment?

Well, I have heard from a reliable source that he just took delivery of his brand new CSI calculator.

I still have trouble believing those things can actually bake shit.

Err - Why would you want to?

Umm, I imagine if you're a child, it could seem like a good idea. That's sort of the point of the toy, right?

It's gonna be tough baking anything with a pair of mini-florescents.

Just to be clear, are you talking about Joe or the Easy Bake oven?

Easy-bake. No wait...Joe? No, no: definitely the Easy-bake.

--------------I wouldn't be bothered reading about the selfish gene because it has never been identified. -- Denyse O'Leary, professional moronAgain "how much". I don't think that's a good way to be quantitative.-- gpuccio

--------------I wouldn't be bothered reading about the selfish gene because it has never been identified. -- Denyse O'Leary, professional moronAgain "how much". I don't think that's a good way to be quantitative.-- gpuccio

Sadly the Hillman Minx was before my time, even though it was a lovely* vehicle.

Louis

*Lovely doesn't necessarily mean it worked!

I thought so. But I drove it for two years without a hitch and with the then new-fangled radial tires it was a dream to drive - for that time in history at least.

It had leather upholstery, what we called a 'sofa seat' and a column mounted gear shift handle.

I miss bench seats. So many lost opportunities with buckets.

Way back in high school I had a beater 68 Plymouth Satellite with bench seats. That led to what back then we called "COD" turns for "come over darling" - a hard right hand corner so your girlfriend would end up in your lap. Also known as an "SOB" turn - "slide over babe!"

--------------"CO2 can't re-emit any trapped heat unless all the molecules point the right way" "All the evidence supports Creation baraminology" "I'm a female retired marine biologist"

Sadly the Hillman Minx was before my time, even though it was a lovely* vehicle.

Louis

*Lovely doesn't necessarily mean it worked!

I thought so. But I drove it for two years without a hitch and with the then new-fangled radial tires it was a dream to drive - for that time in history at least.

It had leather upholstery, what we called a 'sofa seat' and a column mounted gear shift handle.

I miss bench seats. So many lost opportunities with buckets.

Way back in high school I had a beater 68 Plymouth Satellite with bench seats. That led to what back then we called "COD" turns for "come over darling" - a hard right hand corner so your girlfriend would end up in your lap. Also known as an "SOB" turn - "slide over babe!"

Sadly, my only memory of bench seats is getting stuck sitting between my parents on long trips. Oh, the trials of being the baby of the family!

--------------"[A scientific theory] describes Nature as absurd from the point of view of common sense. And it agrees fully with experiment. So I hope you can accept Nature as She is - absurd."- Richard P. Feynman

Sadly the Hillman Minx was before my time, even though it was a lovely* vehicle.

Louis

*Lovely doesn't necessarily mean it worked!

I thought so. But I drove it for two years without a hitch and with the then new-fangled radial tires it was a dream to drive - for that time in history at least.

It had leather upholstery, what we called a 'sofa seat' and a column mounted gear shift handle.

I miss bench seats. So many lost opportunities with buckets.

Way back in high school I had a beater 68 Plymouth Satellite with bench seats. That led to what back then we called "COD" turns for "come over darling" - a hard right hand corner so your girlfriend would end up in your lap. Also known as an "SOB" turn - "slide over babe!"

I half expected Joe to say, 'neener, neener, neener'. But I realized that stringing together three multi-syllable words that weren’t curses is beyond your cognitive capability.

How have I tested this hypothesis? Well, my hypothesis predicts that Joe can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. And observation has discovered a sprawling JoeG with partially masticated chewing gum lying beside him.

My hypothesis further predicts that JoeG is ugly. The experiment was to compare JoeG with the hind end of a canine of indeterminate ancestry. When presented to a random sample population, the majority found the dog’s hind end to more aesthetically pleasing.

--------------Ignored by those who can't provide evidence for their claims.

I half expected Joe to say, 'neener, neener, neener'. But I realized that stringing together three multi-syllable words that weren’t curses is beyond your cognitive capability.

How have I tested this hypothesis? Well, my hypothesis predicts that Joe can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. And observation has discovered a sprawling JoeG with partially masticated chewing gum lying beside him.

My hypothesis further predicts that JoeG is ugly. The experiment was to compare JoeG with the hind end of a canine of indeterminate ancestry. When presented to a random sample population, the majority found the dog’s hind end to more aesthetically pleasing.

What insults?

I am just making valid observations.

And yes I am ugly- so what?

At least I am not as moronic as you.

I can get plastic surgery but you will always be a fucking retard.

--------------Chromosomes. are. all. connected. It is one long polymer. Called the DNA. - oleg t

I half expected Joe to say, 'neener, neener, neener'. But I realized that stringing together three multi-syllable words that weren’t curses is beyond your cognitive capability.

How have I tested this hypothesis? Well, my hypothesis predicts that Joe can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. And observation has discovered a sprawling JoeG with partially masticated chewing gum lying beside him.

My hypothesis further predicts that JoeG is ugly. The experiment was to compare JoeG with the hind end of a canine of indeterminate ancestry. When presented to a random sample population, the majority found the dog’s hind end to more aesthetically pleasing.

What insults?

I am just making valid observations.

And yes I am ugly- so what?

At least I am not as moronic as you.

I can get plastic surgery but you will always be a fucking retard.

The prosecution rests.

--------------Ignored by those who can't provide evidence for their claims.

Has the tardgasm finished? Is Joe sitting somewhere all sweaty and flushed after his tardsturbation?

If so, the Drama Llama has paid the Richard Dawkins Forums a visit. Watch the internets melt down over there. At least it's a more articulate -gasm of some species than Joe's outpourings.

Louis

No asshole- you are still alive and I am sure you have more tard to spew.

Somewhere Pavlov is smiling.

Smiling AT you-, you ding-a-ling

This is a small sample of your inability to properly insult people. Also, it has relevance to your inability to properly construct jokes.

The response should not have been "Smiling AT you." This would indicate that the original sentence had referenced you directly but gotten the preposition wrong. Your emphasis of the preposition would be funny if you were in fact punning on the error (or perceived error) of the original statement. Sadly, this is not the case.

The response should have been "Smiling at YOU." This would indicate both your understanding that the original line was intended as a jibe at yourself and that you have some superior knowledge that allows you know the real jibe should be taken at the speaker.

This is basic stuff, Joe. I think you have it in you to be funny. My offer of acting and improvisation classes is still open.

Has the tardgasm finished? Is Joe sitting somewhere all sweaty and flushed after his tardsturbation?

If so, the Drama Llama has paid the Richard Dawkins Forums a visit. Watch the internets melt down over there. At least it's a more articulate -gasm of some species than Joe's outpourings.

Louis

No asshole- you are still alive and I am sure you have more tard to spew.

Somewhere Pavlov is smiling.

Lol shhhhhhh the doggie doesn't understand, don't give the game away. The doggie is too stupid to do anything but spew tard, drop turds and yap ineffectually. Letting it know about Pavlov will give it ideas above it's station. It isn't an experimental subject, it's a chew toy.

I shouldn't be amused by poking it with a stick, but dammit it *is* kinda funny. I know, I know, it makes me a bad person. Still, poke poke, yap yap, har har.

Can you include washing and basic personal hygeine classes. Poochie smells. Basic literacy skills might help poor wickle poochie too. It seems to be very confused and it clearly can't understand anything.

Also, whilst I'm no product of Miss Manners' School for Not Using the Sweary Words, the little mutt can only use the word "asshole". I'm not sure if he is advocating a particular sexual preference or commenting on his own aroma, but we'd all be very grateful if you could expand his vocabulary too.

I know this is a lot of work for one person to accomplish, you will be more than compensated for your efforts from the Evil Atheist Conspiracy* Church Burning Ebola Boy Relief Fund.

Well, Louis. I can get pooch to increase or decrease his use of the asshole stratagem, but have never gotten him to expand his area of operation. It seems you can't teach an old dog new tricks after all.