Wednesday, February 18, 2015

40 Beers for 40 Nights: A Lenten Sacrifice

My wife will tell you that I get a bit cynical about
religious traditions that aren’t found in the bible (and even some that are). I
grew up Catholic and as a kid I just
assumed Jesus told his followers that eating meat on Friday guaranteed eternal
damnation. After years of fish sticks, I was surprised to learn that this is
not even remotely true. Hell’s gates are in fact, not lined with those who
ordered the Big Mac instead of the Filet O’ Fish on Friday. This is not the
only part of my Catholic upbringing that made me the slightly-cynical,
guilt-ridden man I am today, but that is another topic for another time.

When I was in Catholic School, I gave up something for Lent every
year. I particularly recall giving up popcorn one year. Every time we ate
popcorn at home I would instead eat Doritos. It was a real sacrifice and one of
the reasons I was the fat kid in middle school. But, most years I did really
give up something I couldn't replace with a pungent corn chip. Then, the meat
lie came to light and had a direct impact on my view of Lent. In college I
started giving up things like self-control, meth, church and re-runs of “Let’s
Make a Deal.” College kids are hilarious.

I've let the tradition slide for the past few years, but decided to bring it
back this year. However, instead of mocking the actual tradition of Lenten sacrifice
which is a cruel and immature thing to do - I realize this now – I’m going to
make a fun challenge out if it that forces me to actually write something every
week. I’m calling it “40 Beers for 40 Nights” or “Giving Up Not Drinking a New
Potentially Delicious Beer Every Night”. Here’s how it will work: It’s quite
simple. Every night I will drink a different beer. Generally just one beer. On
a Friday, Saturday or following particularly stressful evening, perhaps more
but only one counts. I will chronicle the beers at the end of each week and
hopefully pass along some insightful opinions as to what’s good and what’s just
more expensive Bud Light with a pretty label. Either that, or I will come off
sounding like a total beer-jerk hipster.
Hey, I have a beard now. This is the next logical step. The majority of
the beers will be brews I’ve never tried before, but I’ll throw in some old
favorites as well. I’ll do my best to get beers that aren’t ridiculously easy
to procure. For example, today I bought four different kinds of beer only sold in Vermont from a guy
I met on Craigslist. He did not murder or even rob me so the gamble paid off.

Beers I bought from a guy on Craigslist who didn't kill or rob me.

But wait! This a running blog.Yeah, whatever. I’m training
for the Vermont City Marathon. This is part of the carbo-loading. If anything
non-beer related and noteworthy happens while I’m out there doing endless laps
of Central Park, I’ll let you know.

But wait! You have a pregnant wife at home. You can’t be
sitting drinking delicious beer while she stares longingly at your frothy
beverage! Not a problem. Lauren completely supports this plan. Originally, it
called for me to go to a particular Manhattan bar every night on the way home from
the office and work my way through their extensive menu. I modified the plan
when I realized that going to a bar alone at midnight every night is sad,
time-consuming, expensive and requires me to have my pants on well past my
normal pants-removal deadline. I’ll be drinking the beer at home well after she
goes to bed. I’m not sure if drinking at home alone, pantless watching Seinfeld
re-runs in the dark is any less-pathetic than the bar scenario, but it sounds
better to me.