Russia Adoptions – Where Do We Go From Here?

According to the NYT, there were 1,600 Russian children adopted in the U.S. last year. Some of them, including our little daughter, live here in Clifton Park.

The news that broke yesterday about the Tennessee “mom” who sent her 7-year-old adopted son on a flight back to Moscow alone with a note saying “he is dangerous, I don’t want to parent him anymore” is scary and sickening for so many reasons. The awful relality is now the Russian government has shut down adoptions to the United States. You can read the TU story here or the MSNBC video story here.

First, this boy is only 7 years old and has obviously gone through some trauma, only now to deal with a “mom” rejecting him.

Second, he is only 7! I can tell you that flight from the US to Moscow is long and strenuous and he had to deal with being shipped off all alone.

Third, he became an American citizen when he came to the US in September and thereby has rights as a citizen.

Fourth, when you adopt a child from anywhere at age 7, you may experience the child’s negative behavior that is a result of past abuse, abandonment, neglect, etc. This is to be expected and her agency should have prepared her.

Fifth, what sane woman returns a child?????

I could go on and on.

As adoptive parents, my husband and I were prepared for anything. We were ready to parent our daughter – for better or worse. That’s what being a parent is about – loving unconditionally and this woman should not have been allowed to adopt since she clearly does not understand what this means.

I have a friend who has been waiting a long time to bring her daughter home. She is devastated to think she may never see her again.

I hope so so much that the Russian government doesn’t shut the US adoption agreement down but rather continues to work with agencies that do proper screening and have worked well with the process.

Update: my friend who is waiting for her adoption to be finalized sent this story from the Wall Street Journal about a delegation going to Moscow.

7 Responses

This is a sad story for all of those families who have been waiting for their children. One very selfish woman who,one wonders,would have done what if the child was her biological one? Knowing three families who have adopted their children from Russia and neighboring countries, I pray that there is a dialog and change on this decision.

Myla, you hit it on the head when you asked, “What sane woman returns a child????” No SANE woman would return a child, and certainly not a 7-year-old child alone on a plane from Tennessee to Moscow. Was it that the agency failed to prepare her, or that they failed to properly screen her?

As an adoptive parent of a russian child who was beaten almost to death by his bio family I have seen the full spectrum of awful behavior that stems from his abuse. We did not learn of it until our court hearing and how could we back out then? I have had many moments when I WISH I could send him back as he is a relentless negative force in our otherwise happy home. He has been seeing counselors for over 2 years and we do have some good days-but as A PARENT WITH EXPERIENCE of the worst kind from an adopted child I can understand why that mom became desperate enough to send that young man back. There is no one who wants to believe that a child can be so awful and it is easier to blame her than the russians who by their own laws cannot divulge a full history of a child to be adopted until court.

Unfortunately, this women with no feelings has made it difficult for me to adopt a child from Russia. She should be punished as were the others. She is not different. I do hope Russia and U.S. can resolve this problem via Secretary of State Hiliary Clinton? Maybe she can suggest imposing additional rules and regulations regarding adopted children. I do agree with an above comment – the child is older and may have had problems adjusting, but if Hansen had any feelings and really loved this child, she should have seeked other methods of dealing with him. She is a nurse – where is her TLC regarding this child ? She is awful and should spend time in jail so in the future others may think twice prior to taking action as she did. I would let out a string of words, but I will leave it up to the readers who feel as I do.