How to Build Your Own Secret Universe

Daniel Hudon has a charming piece in the current Cream City Review, in which he offers his suggestions on how to make a universe—a serious universe. “We’re not talking about building some quaint little microcosm,” Hudon writes. “We’re talking about building a top-of-the-line big-ass universe—with exploding stars, black holes, and things that go bump in the night.”

What’s the rush? Only the possibility that our universe could be reduced to little more than a bunch of black holes in billions of years. And, “while it’s possible that black holes could be portals into other hitherto unknown universes,” Hudon says, “Stephen Hawking isn’t betting on it, and you shouldn’t either.”

So herewith, he offers a few things to keep under consideration if you’re so inspired:

Before you go on to projects like, building galaxies, say, or managing a hotel with an infinite number of rooms, factor some advertising into your budget so that people can actually see the wonders of your universe. If you just broadcast the existence of your newly invented universe to all and sundry, people will likely see you as a crackpot, so we don’t recommend that. Instead, try the poetic approach, e e cummings-style. Whisper to your companion, “Listen, there’s a hell of a good universe next door; let’s go.” Worry about where exactly “next door” is when the time comes.

Make sure, too, that your universe has its own laws of physics. Keep them hidden so that any future scientists who evolve in your universe can have the joy of discovering them. Everybody loves a good mystery.

You should also decide if you actually want anyone to know about your universe. There’s a lot to be said for having your own secret universe. Those people you see on the bus smiling while listening to their headphones? They’re probably smiling about their own secret universes too.