June 2009

June 28, 2009

My life is full of it right now. I no longer have a kid in elementary school. I'm not at my old job. I start a new job next week. My office will be at home. I'm switching to a Mac.

Yes, you read that correctly. I, Georgia Joseph, who have only ever used a PC, will begin using a Mac on July 1, 2009. If you're reading this and have given me grief over the years for not being part of the "hoodie" tribe, shut up. You have no idea how distorted your face becomes when you're thinking, "I told you so." If you're one of my "just because you're wearing a hoodie doesn't make you cool" children, you can also zip your lips. Nobody - meaning me - cares what you think about the superiority of PCs.

Okay...so...I'm a planner. The think-ahead, ooh-there's-a-problem, yay!, now-what-do-I-do, give-me-information kind of gal. And I've been told that there is a Mac learning curve.

Insert quarter, start worrying.

What if it takes me eight hours to open up Word on my first day on the job? I think that's called a career-limiting move. Something needs to be done in advance of such a potential catastrophe, but what? I know, she thinks, I'll google "switching to a Mac" and see how other former PC poppers have done it.

What a waste of time. Not to point fingers, but some of my favorite websites (coughlifehackercough) give tedious, overly long lists of pointers incorrectly labeled as "quick guides". After getting to the bottom of page-one of the search results (SEO specialists take note), I lost patience with all the words, words, words and decided it would be infinitely more practical to drive the 30 minutes to the nearest Apple Store and ask a real live person. I'm not getting back to work a day too early, that's for sure.

Gone are the days when the Apple Store was empty an hour before closing on Sunday. I think the iphone had something to do with that. Now - if you haven't scheduled a face-to-face shopping appointment in advance - you can stand around looking like you're dying to talk to a sales person until the cows come home and nobody gives a rip. There are just too many prepared, knowledgable customers with their credit cards already out to worry about someone who wandered into the store without SMART goals. Car dealers, take note.

I figured if I started playing with the most expensive Mac Book in the store, that would do the trick. Nope. Still invisible. But it didn't matter. Before I knew it, I was engrossed. This thing was cool. After about 45 minutes, I had run out of things to do on a computer that didn't belong to me, including discovering the undeniable superiority of Keynote over PowerPoint. Sorry Microsoft.

Since the store was going to close in 15 minutes and was still crowded, I decided if I was going to get face time with one of the color-coordinated t-shirt crew, I'd have to ask. I did, and got queued via blue-tooth. No lie. Five minutes later, someone who could be my son came over to answer all my questions. I know this would have been the moment to be humiliated, but I only had 10 minutes left to save my career and didn't have time to stand on pride.

I said, "I need to use a Mac in three days and hear that there's a learning curve." I left out the part about not knowing how to redeem food stamps, but I think he could smell the fear because he said, "Don't worry. I was 90% there in a week and 100% there by the end of the month."

It's a good thing I've learned not to always say the first thing that pops into my head. I'll spare you too. What came out of my mouth was, "Can you tell me how?"

The first five minutes covered everything I'd already figured out. There was now five minutes left between me and a shove out the front door, so I decided it was time to confront my greatest fear. "I hear there's no right-click", I said. "Yes, there is", he responded, and proceeded to introduce me to a touchpad that could be controlled in distinct ways depending on how many fingers you chose to place on it at a time. I had a ton of questions. He had an answer for every one of them. At the end, I'd learned everything I needed to know to face Wednesday undaunted.

And the most important thing I discovered? If you engage an Apple geek on one of his or her favorite topics, the store won't close until you are ready to end the conversation. I got an extra five minutes and wasn't even the last one out. Score one point for face time.