Thanks to an injury, Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) is watching the NBA playoffs from well off the sidelines. So he did what any athlete with a smartphone would do: He angrily live-tweeted the L.A. Lakers' loss to San Antonio in Game 1 on Sunday.

Among his gems: "What I would say if I was there right now? 'Pau get ur ass on the block and don't move till u get it' #realtalk"

On Monday, Bryant tweeted he'd cease that practice from here on out. But RedEye gladly picks up where the Black Mamba left off. Presenting: What would Kobe Bryant tweet, Bulls-Nets edition.