Friday, January 4, 2019

the missing month

Hello friends,

How are you? How have the first few days of your new year been treating you?

I'm good. It's ridiculously hot and scarily windy outside, so after a morning of farm work I'm now sheltering in my dark bedroom, in a tee-shirt and undies, with my laptop on my lap, thinking about my blog.

It's been a month since I last posted here.

In the beginning I just ran out of time. It was a Friday early in December. I had taken, edited and loaded a whole bunch of photos documenting the transformation of the old farm shed into farmer Bren's new wood-workshop, and all that was left was to write the words. The words would be straight forward and easy. It's all very beautiful and exciting.

But then somehow the hours disappeared and it was time to go and visit a local ceramicist friend, then we came home and I had washing to hang out, a greenhouse to water and girls to feed. And then it was time to get ourselves dressed and ready for our beautiful friends' wedding. And then we had so much fun that we stayed all afternoon and evening and by the time we got home, after all those champagnes, I was in no state to write the words.

The next morning I woke up with all the best intentions but then my computer died. I knew it had been coming - it had been acting up for a while - so I closed it down and walked away. Unlike other computer malfunctions, this time there was no tantrum, there were no tears and there would be no blog post that week.

I felt a little bit disappointed, a little bit relieved and a little part of me wondered if it was a sign. If my time as a blogger was over and done with.

Blogging does take up a huge chunk of my life each Friday and as the growing season progresses and my time gets more valuable, it's hard to justify the whole process.

I'm a little bit embarrassed to admit that over the next few days I waited for the messages to start arriving. I thought that some people would notice my absence and write to ask why. And although I never wanted this to be about ego, I did feel a bit disappointed when nobody did. Not my family, not my friends, nobody. (Poor me - I'm so embarrassed to write this but it's true).

I think it was then that I stopped being a blogger.

I stopped taking photos, I stopped writing posts in my head, I stopped thinking about it and I worked right on through my Fridays without another thought.

After a little while a few messages did trickle in, and then a few more. Mostly I replied that I was having computer problems, which was officially true considering I still hadn't turned my computer back on since that first Friday.

When I eventually did try to turn it on and it still wasn't working my farmer boy took all the photos off, wiped it and then reinstalled everything.

Then he wrapped it up with a bow and left it on my bed.

Over those few weeks I thought a lot about who I was without my blog. I thought about what it gave me and what it took away. It challenged me when one of Indi's friends told her he just could not understand why I did it. And then I considered signing out of all social media altogether. I wondered if six months short of my 10 year blog anniversary, it had all just run its natural course, petered out.

As the weeks went by I received some beautiful messages from people telling me how much my blog has meant to them over the years. Lots of memories and stories and thoughts. So much kindness. Those messages meant the world to me.

And then this past week as the flowers started blossoming and the girls picked a bouquet a day, as the late afternoon golden summer sunshine intensified the beauty of where we live, and as the vegetable harvests began in earnest, I discovered that I missed the whole blogging process and was ready to have another go.

I took these photos last night, I edited them and loaded them into my blog early this afternoon when it was too hot to work outside anymore, and then, just as I was getting ready to write the words, my computer crashed. Again! Apparently the operating system I'm using is so ancient it's stopped being able to talk to Safari. Or whatever that means.

So while my computer is updating itself in the other room, I'm back on blogger on Jazzy's computer. Fingers crossed I can make it to the finish line this time.

I quite like the thought of writing a post summing up 2018, but for now I think I'll count my blessings and stop before something else goes wrong. Maybe in the next few days.

Until then I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you so much for hanging out with me at Foxs Lane. I hope your 2019 is full of all the best, most beautiful and love filled stuff. Hopefully I'll see you here really soon for more flowers and farming, family and knitting.

74 comments:

Hi Kate, did miss your posts but everyone deserves a break over xmas right? Assumed you were taling a break. Glad you have decided to press on. Your photos are beautiful and make me long for a farm life. Happy new year to you. M

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It's a strange place, the blogosphere, isn't it? We feel like we know you, but it seems intrusive to go "Oi, is everything okay?" when you don't post! I also thought about giving up blogging this year (after only a couple of years), but it's nice to have a creative place to say what you want to say. I'm glad to see you back! Lovely photos. Are the purple flowers giant alliums? They're amazing! Happy 2019 to you.

Thank you so much! It really is a strange place sometimes. But luckily the goods outweigh the bads. The giant flowers are overgrown leeks. They're pretty amazing but quickly got a bit stinky to have in the house. Happy 2019 to you too. x

I’ve barely been online myself to notice your absence. So LOVELY to take a break from online, but just as lovely to get back to it. I’m going to start blogging again this year. I took all of last year off and nobody really noticed. 🙂

something eats my bean seedlings in my garden and so i don't grow beans. After seeing your photos i am inspired to try again. We have the star pickets, the wire and bean seeds so after we are done with this yucky 43 degree heat, i will grow beans........Thank you xx

Hello Kate, I'm happy to read a new entry in your blog, I knew you were fine with Instagram photos. I thought ... is resting from the blog .... I do it sometimes and I understand that other blogs do., I am very happy that you have returned. The beautiful photos! Thank you.

I have an 18-year-old daughter who is traveling from Australia from Brisbane to Melbourne as a backpacker, have I told her if I can buy your Vatastic book, in which bookshop in Melbourne they sell it?Happy 2019 for you and your family

Ohhh !!! Thanks Kate, you are very kind. Although I prefer the book printed on paper. My daughter will see if she finds it second-hand (used). In Melbourne there are second-hand stores?Have a beautiful day.

Oh Kate I wish I had reached out to you, I missed your blog so much but it felt pushy and rude of me to question where you were when you don't know anything about me.I love your blog so much and often want to leave social media and the online space, but there are just a few blogs and insta accounts that keep me hanging around, yours is most definitely one of them. Your flowers are so so divine, thanks for sharing their beauty with those of us who struggle to grow weeds. Cheers Kate

Thank you dear Kate. You know I never even thought that people wouldn't want to appear pushy with me. So many people have said that though. Which is kinda nice. I hope your 2019 is wonderful and thank you so much for being such a huge part of my blog and our community. xx

Hello Kate,I am glad you did not quit being a blogger ; you write a beautiful blog. Reading about your lovely girls, your lovely farm is a delight I enjoy immensely.I wish you and your family the very best in 2019.Hugs,Gaia.

Hi Kate, So lovely to see you here again. I did notice your absence of course, I did miss you very much - your blog is a vital part of my Friday morning coffee routine (I don't work on Fridays and it's just so great to spend my morning getting a glimpse of what goes on in your world, while drinking my favourite coffee). I don't know how many times I wanted to send you a message during your absence here, but seeing your IG photos I thought you were just too busy/taking a break from blogging, and, like several others I didn't want to be too pushy. I'll know better next time. Thank you for all your words and photos and I'm looking forward to more.Lots of warm hugs from cold and a little bit snowy Poland xxx

Hi Kate, those flowers are so gorgeous! Yes, life gets in the way for all of us sometimes, in fact a LOT of the time. Did you know that we, as your blog followers, are actually placed in a delicate position too? We know how stressed you get over many things and it's evidenced by the example of one young boy who says he has no clue why you blog and you're ready to almost throw in the towel or at least go deep into yourself and question if you should go on. I would never question my long held intentions from someone that young, and a boy hhahahahaha. Boys (and MEN)are not well known for writing blogs. They're not well known for texting either in case you didn't know. :-) They'd much rather talk to someone and get it 'sorted out' that way :-) or not talk at all. That's boys. You do already know what blogging brings you. It's a counsellor, friend, mentor, business partner, a way to get out your feelings so you know you're not alone...and it's a way to share exciting things happening too. sometimes, when you wake up happy, we feel relieved that today is going to be a GRRRRRRRRReat day for you. You sometimes think writing about growing things must be mundane and make comments about how 'repetitive your life cycle' can be but you do that to the detriment of all the amazing things that DO happen. Look long term and look further back than the present. WE all get caught up and can't see out of where we are but we KNOW we do this so at these times, you need a little reminder to 'LOOK OUTSIDE of yourself'. Saying your life seems to be the same old, same old denigrates how amazing even growing ONE flower is. People LOVE to hear about your plants. they have invested themselves in you too, so you should never think otherwise. Life sometimes gets in the way and if you don't write one Friday, we aren't going to die or be annoyed with you or start to question your actions. It's a positive thing that all of us out here in cyber land look forward to your musings. WE learn about particular patterns, we hear about the construction of a building, we share troubles with our children or we offer advice. WE are a part of it all too and that's what a blog is all about-friendship. Distance does not diminish the friendship. So trust yourself. Stop second-guessing yourself when one person comments. You've been doing this too long to let something like that tip you over the edge. When you bemoaned that noone made comment about you not posting, and how it made you a bit sad - we feel guilty too when we shouldn't. Blogging is a two way thing. We wouldn't write to say, 'Hey, where are you, why isn't there a Friday night blog???' We would never do that. We don't write to ask where you are because we are considering you and the path you travel. We don’t want you to feel obliged and I’m pretty sure that a part of you would FEEL obliged. We don't question lack of a blog because we CARE, not because we don't care. It was sad to read that you thought that we didn't care. We understand that time gets away and if you can't write one week (and remember, we see what you're up to on Instagram ;-) so we get an idea that you're busy) then you'll write when you're ready and we'll love it more because we had to wait for it. So please don't let small comments from someone who is young and ignorant (and who is not intending to be unkind - it was probably an off hand, quick retort kid's comment in the moment), don't suddenly have to go deep inside and start to examine your existence. There is no pressure but that which you put on yourself. Enjoy the moment and don't feel guilty. us not bothering you is us giving you space.

Blogging gets YOU out of yourself because you engage with so many of us! People ask me why I knit socks. I don't stop knitting. People ask me why I knit cardigans when I live in Brisbane. :-) I don't stop knitting cardis. I know exactly why I do what I do. I hope you do too. Love always, Lu x

Hi Kate, Like all the commenters above I noticed your absence but felt that it wasn't right to comment on it. I LOVE reading about your days, family and knitting. Here in the UK its cold and I can't wait to get sowing seeds.You are part of my Friday mornings and I missed you! You have inspired me to start knitting socks (I am a beginner). The sock yarn has been bought and I have found a very basic pair of socks to knit from Youtube. So *thank you* for being my inspiration!. I hope 2019 bring all your wishes and dreams to come true. Happy New Year. Goldensunflower x

I have only been reading for a few months but look forward to that Friday morning post. I live in Ottawa, Canada. It is cold, icy and snowy here. I do not love hot and we get very hot and humid here in the summer but I do love looking at those flowers! Welcome back.

I always enjoy reading your blog and had noticed you had been absent for awhile, but just assumed you were having a break over the silly season, as many other people do. I read 5 favourite blogs and yours is definitely one of them!

I missed you and your blog. It's such a beautiful blog to visit. Your photos are amazing and full of color. I like having a peek at a life on the other side of the Earth. (I live in Michigan, and while it hasn't snowed much (yet)this year, it's been brown, foggy, wet and dismal. What a treat to see those flowers! Thank you for your blog. It's like a present when I see a new blog post on Friday mornings. A new picture book to open. Have a wonderful week.

Hi Kate. Noticed you weren't blogging but assumed you were, quite rightly, giving priority to Christmas and the family. I would miss your lovely blogs and glimpses of another life, another world, so much but you have to look after yourself first. There are no blog police! you do what you want when you want! It's got to be pure pleasure for you as well us us!!!

Hi Kate,Thank you so very much for returning to your blog. I now wish to apologise; I got it wrong - I didn't want to hassle you, even though I was missing my Friday fix. Therefore I chose not to say/comment that I was missing you and your family. I should have done because I now know that my comment would have uplifted you. I will know better if there is a next time!Try and stay cool and take a little bit of rest time if possible, love Jacky x

Dear Katehello and many many blessings from germanysorry my english is not very goodBut i will tell you how much i have missyou and your blog..the fridays were not the samewithout the beuatiful stories and picturesi tell my husband every day that i missyou and your blog so much and i hoped so muchthat you and your family were wellbut i also dont have the courage to askwhat has happened..thank you very much for all the time and effort you gave usherewish you and your family a great yearBärbelfrom germany...were i live near the Alps(Mountains in the South)its very cold here and we have snow now...love yoursunny pictures!!!

Woo Hoo Kate’s back. I thought you were taking a well deserved break over the crazy holiday season. What a come back too all those beautiful bouquets. Love the Aliums or Leeks which ever they are. Sometimes life just is too busy it certainly has been here. I’m hoping things will start to settle down now will just have to keep my fingers crossed.

Hello Kate, I agree with so many others here, I didn’t want to bother you by asking if all was ok. I did eventually leave a comment but I now wish I’d done it sooner. Your blog is my weekly dose of sunshine and warmth but I can understand that it can be a bit of a burden and switching off for a while may be what you need. You have to do what is right for you and your family. Take care x

hi kate...I completely get how you described how you felt...i often visit blogs read posts then sometimes do not comment. i took a break when i moved a few years back and then in 2018 i really started blogging again but got a bit dis heartened when I didnt get comments back. but ive learnt its not always about how many 'likes' or 'messages' its more about if it makes you happy when you post . you have such a wonderful, enriching, heart felt and inspiring blog. The photography also leaves me spell bound...Especiall in England on this dark, cold January evening the colour and light really speaks to my soul. keep blogging and being you, kazzy x

Absolutely continue to blog....honestly I love the days a few years back when I would get my coffee and read through my favourite blogs every morning on my iPad. I so prefer reading blogs then FB feeds which I only got into in 2016 because I wanted to declutter and sell stuff. I loved the blogs the words the photos the stories of peoples lives. FB feed is not the same and mostly advertising and promoting oneself. I would think that people myself included would expect that you were having a break over the holidays with family so I'm sure that's why no one wondered where you were. Even though I only have a few people reading my blog I do it for the record of stories and photos and recipes etc. It's like a diary with photos and you can jump back on and look at different summers, winters etc. so I for one vote that you continue to blog. ps my sister is packing up house and moving and we came across the beautiful beanie you knitted for her when she was going through breast cancer. Thankfully she is well and is now in love and moving in with her partner and she will never forget the kindness from a complete stranger that send her a beautiful hand made beanie. I read your blog she had no idea who you were and thought it was the most kindest thing you did so thank you again from her and I. The flower photos of your girls in the garden are beautiful. Kathy A, Brisbane

Hi Kate, so good to see you back and enjoying time with your girls.I too missed your lovely Friday posts but just waited patiently because....It was December Christmas was comingThe girls are on holidays It's growing seasonThe incredible heat can sap all your energy.Sometimes we all just need a break

Happy new year to you all and hope to see you posting when it brings you joy ☺❤

How wonderful it is to have you back Kate. Your lovely blog posts brighten up my weekend. You have been missed very much. I have been taking a peep each day and hoping and hurray, there you were this morning!

Happy New Year! Like most people I assumed you we're taking a blogging break over the holiday season!

I think engagement with blogs has changed a lot in recent years. As a pretty avid blog reader I've noticed fewer comments across the board on most blogs. On multiple blogs where once there were pretty lively conversations, now it's rare to see even one comment.

From my own experience I have all good intentions of commenting on a post, have it open in a browser tab where it sits for a couple of days and then figure it's now probably too late to comment and close the tab. I do this multiple times per week, but I'm trying to be better about this in 2019!

Every time I think about quitting my own blog, I look back through my archives and realise it is just so great to have this long-term record of my life - and remember that I do this mostly for me (and the family) and keep at it.

I hope you do what's right for you! But I do hope you know that just because people aren't reaching out, doesn't mean that they don't care.

Hi Kate, I've never commented before but I love your blog. From the comments above it looks like all your readers are too polite to demand blogs posts! I certainly missed you, but I just thought you were taking some time out. I hope you will continue.

Yes we all missed your breath of rest air which is your Blog. Thank you for sharing your everyday happenings in such a beautiful and simple way in this complicated and full on World.Many Bkessings for the New Year 😘

I've been a lurker since I found you. I love reading your blog and seeing your photos of where you live and your country. I had 2 blogs and haven't blogged in forever. Mainly because a lot of the platform has changed and it's too complicated and my life is all work these days. So I understand. But I did miss you when you were gone. :)

I'm so happy to see another post from you! I was one that kept checking in, hoping another post would show up but never commented. So please know you were missed greatly even if I didn't comment to say so. I hope you'll keep blogging! It's one of the bright spots on my week!

I love reading your blog and drooling over your wonderful photos, I find both really real and uplifting. I, too, thought you were caught up in the busyness of school breakups, garden planting and weeding and Christmas preparations. I am really pleased to see you back again!

Hello :) I didn't comment as I didn't want to intrude in case something personal had come up and were taking an unplanned break. It's lovely to hear (read?) your voice again through your blog however I think all your readers would appreciate there will be a time when the blog will come to an end (whenever that may be). It is your story after all and if you should choose to stop telling it through the blog then that is very much your choice :) For now, it's great to read another post.

While I would understand if you decided to take a blogging break, I would be terribly sad if you did.

I can tell you what I think about blogging. :) I have had a blog for well over 10 years now...when I first started blogging, it was very popular and there were so many connections made and it was so fun. We read each others blogs, we had challenges and shared each other's post and it felt like a way of connecting with people that I wouldn't be able to connect to otherwise...but then other social media platforms came along and blogging has changed a bit. In some cases, it is less authentic, more stats and selling me something. Which is ok...but...

that's what I love about YOUR blog. it is about you...your thoughts, your feelings, your family and your interests. I drool over your photos every week because they are beautiful and they provide me a reprieve from our winter reality.

I still blog. I blog for me. Because I enjoy it. I don't really care about stats or comments or likes (although, don't get me wrong, I totally appreciate them) but I have learned I don't need them to keep going. I blog when I want...and I don't set many rules around it. I also don't beat myself up if I say I am going to do something like draw 365 robots and then I don't finish. Hahahha.

Ok....this has been way too long...but I just wanted to say this post really struck a chord with me. Big hugs from Canada!

Mowsy, I'm glad I read your comment before typing one that is identical:)except to exchange Kentucky for Michigan. So Kate, your blog provides a much cherished happy outlet for those of us in the depths of winter. Your writing is warm and authentic, your photos are bright and beautiful and we appreciate the work you put into both. Best wishes to you and your family in 2019.

I'm glad you're back Kate! I love reading your reflections every Friday as a little cue that the week is over and the weekend is beginning. I have a big upcoming move from Melbourne to the US, and your writing has inspired me to maybe start my own blog as a way of documenting and processing the experience, rather than my habit of keeping my thoughts to myself. We'll see what happens!

Agree with a lot of the comments - love following your life and family, your writing should bring you joy, have missed you on Fox Fridays and I also assumed (really shouldn't assume anything) you were taking a well deserved break for the holidays. I hope you go back and put words to the picture of Farmer Boys new work shop, he does amazing things with "a chunk of wood"!

As a fellow blogger, I totally get the need for a break (sometimes an extended one)--I've taken several myself over the years, and I find it's usually what I need to come right back, more motivated then before. For what it's worth, I look forward to your post each week, as it's like a breath of fresh air to me (since it's coooold and gray here for me, now!). You also are living out some of my dreams (of owning more land, of cultivating an extensive flower garden), so I've loved seeing it come to life through your talented photography. I was especially happy to see this post, and just know that you have a fan over here in Utah!

So this is the first time I´m writing a comment here because I live in Germany and I don`t know if my English sounds a little bit funny for native English speaking people...but I have to do it, so you can see that even here, thousands of miles away from you, I´m waiting for your usual blog post every friday and I really missed them over the past few weeks. I think I´m nearly the same age as you and I also have three daughters, that are quite the same age as yours. We don`t live on a farm but we love nature and crafting and so it`s like listening to a good friend when I read one of your blog posts. Thank you so much for all your written thougts and beautiful photos about your life!Helga

I did miss your blog Kate and I was a bit worried about you. I nearly asked your sister or father if you were ok but I felt a tiny bit embarrassed too. Although I don't know you personally I feel like we are connected through them.... And I see you about town but again a bit embarrassed about rocking up to you at a market or something. I checked your blog every couple of days and hoped you were just taking a break. I'm sorry now I didn't overcome my feelings as its sad no one tried to get in touch. I'm sure you must know we all appreciate your time and lovely posts. I so relate to much of it ... The garden, the craft and the family life. All the best Dora xx

Happy New Year, Kate. Welcome back after the break. As a fellow blogger, I have asked similar questions about why. I've also considered the time it takes - is it just me or is it the photo processing that takes all the time? It is true that one also needs to be in the right headspace to get words together.

At times like these, ask yourself why you began blogging. If it is for you, then it doesn't matter whether you get comments or not. Look at what you have created - a beautiful record of your farm and family life to look back on. The beauty of a blog is that you can see it anywhere, anytime when you have some internet. So convenient!

Don't worry about a lack of comments during December. Most people are extremely busy at that time of the year. I'm only catching up on blog posts now so hadn't realised you had been away for an entire month. The main thing is that we are thinking of you and making return visits - look at all the comments coming through now that the crazy holiday rush is over.

I'm glad you have kept blogging because I love your photography and stories. It is nice to find someone else who has similar feelings about organic produce, crafting and home and family life. Thank you for deciding to post again but only do it if it brings YOU joy and satisfaction. Life's too short for anything else.

I've been meaning to add a comment for ages but I always seem to be about to do something else when I'm reading blogs (or probably meant to be doing something else). I was checking your blog every friday and thought you were just busy so I wanted to say how wonderful your blog is. Your photos of the things you are growing, making and building on your farm are beyond beautiful. The blog will be an amazing thing for your family to look back on. Most of us reading it are flat out taking a few family photos on special occasions let alone writing about our lives. I discovered your blog just before you started your caravan holiday and I have loved it ever since - after binge back blogging the whole thing!

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I'm so sorry I didn't message you but I kept on checking in, looking to see if there was a new post and feeling disappointed when there wasn't. But! Blog holidays are allowed, so I didn't say anything.Thank you for coming back. So much.

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I do read every single comment you leave and appreciate it very much, but I should let you know that I can be a wee bit on the useless side when replying to comments, that's just me, everyday life sometimes gets in the way....so I'll apologise now, just in case.