Seeking my own way and serving my own needs is not hard. But learning to put others first at times can be difficult. When it comes to love are self-seeking or serving?

We continue through 1 Corinthians 13 as we compare the attributes of love with the mutuality commands (one anothers) found throughout the Scriptures.

Love does not insist on its own way; (ESV)

Love is not self-seeking; (NIV)

Love isn’t always “me first,” (MSG)

Love is not self-absorbed. (The Voice)

Love is not selfish. (HCSB)

—1 Corinthians 13:5b

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, butthrough love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”—Galatians 5:13-14

Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. — 1 Corinthians 10:24

LOVE is not self-seeking so WALK serving one another.

Seek (insist) in the original language of Scripture means to require, demand, expect, crave; to demand something from someone.

Seeking, craving and demanding my own way is not hard! If you are like me, I find being a creature of comfort and convenience quite natural and easy. I like things to fit my routine, my plans, my schedule, my needs and my expectations.

SELF-SEEKING LOVE

“One measure of our love is our willingness to care for people who aren’t very attractive to us: the whining, griping, passive, angry, and annoying people we try to avoid. “ —Julie Clinton, Woman of Extraordinary Faith

Jesus doesn’t just call us to love the people we like. God loves and accepts each of us in our weaknesses and faults, and through that love changes us. God’s love expands the field of vision and our hearts so we can better see and love others the way Jesus sees and loves them.

A love that serves removes the “me”focus, because the focus is Christ! This love-walk is the overflow of my love relationship with Christ Jesus and that enables me to love and look to the interest of others instead of seeking “my way”.

The opposite of a self-seeking love is a serving love. What does it mean to serve others in love?

A Serving Love Shows Hospitality and Welcomes

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God ‘s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies — in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. —1 Peter 4:8-10

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. — Romans 15:5-7

show hospitality —hospitable, loving strangers; a friend/kind to strangers.

welcome— to take as one’s companion, to take by the hand to lead, to take into one’s heart, to take into friendship, to receive into one’s home.

We show hospitality when we extend kindness and love to a friend or stranger. We show hospitality by acknowledging people, by commending accomplishments and by expressing affection and gratitude for others. We show hospitality by opening our homes to friends and strangers.

Our homes do not have to be large and impressive in order to extend hospitality. As they say, “love grows best in tiny spaces”. All that is required is a willingness to open our homes, and to do our best to make others feel comfortable and cared for while they are our guests.

We welcome one another as we embrace people as they are, whether strong or weak, right or wrong. It is not something we practice only when we “feel” like it or extend only to those who are easy to love and serve. It requires that we serve with a love beyond our natural abilities. It requires a complete dependence upon the Lord as His Spirit expresses love through us. We just become the vessels of His love.

A Serving Love Serves

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God ‘s varied grace: —1 Peter 4:10

serving — to attend to anything that may serve another’s interests

We serve one another anytime we meet the need of someone. We serve one another as we use our spiritual gifts to build up the body of Christ and further God’s kingdom. We serve one another as we commit our resources, time, money, energy and expertise to meet the practical needs of fellow believers and those in need around us.

Is God calling you to love, serve, welcome or show hospitality to someone outside your comfort zone? Extend a hand of hospitality today!

These are all love and happiness messages of the world that seek to inform how we are to live. But how do these messages align with the walk of love we’ve been discussing?

We continue our comparison of the love passage in 1 Corinthians 13 with the mutuality commands (one anothers) in the New Testament Scriptures, as we seek to discover how the way of love helps us to walk in love.

Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. —1 Corinthians 13:4b-5a

Let’s begin with the definitions of these attributes of love as found in the original language of Scripture:

Unfortunately, I can relate to displaying all of these attributes at one time or another in my life. They certainly seem to characterize the current climate of our culture. But a walk of love is none of these!

A walk of love is characterized by showing honor and mutual respect for one another.

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. —Romans 12:10

In the original language show honor means we let others know we value and esteem them. It is the idea of showing deference or reverence to someone.

In the original language outdo does not mean we seek to “one up” others, but rather it means to prefer, to go before and lead the way by example, and to show mutual respect.

A walk of love is displayed by a community that dwells together in harmony.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. —Romans 12:16

Harmony in the original language is a word that means to think, to have a mindset. It describes where we direct our thoughts as individuals and refers to being of one accord or of one mindset as a collective group.

Before we begin our discussion of what means, practically, to walk out a love characterized by mutual respect and harmony take a moment to read through Romans 12.

LOVE does not envy or boast and is not arrogant or rude so WALK in harmony showing honor and mutual respect for one another.

This walk of love requires a shift in the way we think.

REMEMBER

This shift in thought begins by remembering who we are! In our guiding verse for this study, Ephesians 5:1-2, we saw that we are the beloved of God. It’s about identity!

Our identity goes beyond our gender, race, ethnicity, and roles in life. These can certainly inform and give insight to who we are, but they are not the core of our identity as believers in Christ Jesus!

We can define identity as where we find security (our core trust) and where we find significance (affirmation/worth).

When our identity is found in something or someone other than Christ, we will live from a place of fear—seeking to defend our false securities and to perform or please to find acceptance and significance. When we allow the Word of God and His Spirit to transform our hearts and minds, we will begin to walk out our identity as new creations in Christ Jesus, those beloved by God!

When I accept and rest secure in who I am in Christ, I no longer have the need to compete with those around me or to be defensive.

An identity centered on Christ brings about a new freedom in my life. It allows me to exhibit humility and respect—rather than trying to defend myself or my position. It allows me to walk in harmony with others.

RENEW

This shift in thought requires I renew my mind. My tendency in the flesh will always be toward self-promotion (envy and boasting) and the defense of what I feel is right (arrogance and rudeness).

God’s Word and His Spirit change me from the inside out. It’s like a daily detox to the patterns of worldly thinking and behaving in which I find myself immersed every day.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. —Romans 12:1-2

As we remember who we are in Christ and renew our minds in God’s Word, we will be equipped to be of one mind, living in harmony, and showing respect to one another.

Ephesians 5:15-21 reminds us we are to walk wisely:

making the best use of our time

being filled with the Spirit

addressing one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to the Lord with our hearts

giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ

submitting to one another out of reverence to Christ

As the body of Christ we are to be of the same mind with a single purpose:

Now may the God of patient endurance and of encouragement grant you to be in agreement with one another, in accordance with Christ Jesus, so that with one mind you may glorify with one mouth the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. —Romans 15:5-6

We are to be of one mind and one mouth glorifying the Father—not boasting in ourselves or our accomplishments—but glorifying Him in all things!

We can disagree with others with an attitude of mutual respect—yet remain single-minded in our love and devotion to Christ and in our commitment to live out the gospel.

What would the watching world think if they observed us leading the way by example, as we valued and esteemed one another and exhibited mutual respect?

What if the church was seen as a beautiful symphony of love, respect, and harmony—a beautiful chorus of joyful noise that glorifies the Father?

We know we are called to love others, but how do we do this? It can be even more difficult with those who are hard to love. God’s Word gives us the answer. As we learn to walk in love, it will affect our attitudes, our actions, and our relationship!

Learning to walk in love is made practical through what is known as the mutuality commands or the “one anothers” in the Scriptures. This week we begin by comparing the famous love passage in 1 Corinthians 13 with the mutuality commands of Scripture. Look at 1 Corinthians 13:4a alongside Ephesians 4:1-3:

Love is patient and kind; —1 Corinthians 13:4a

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. —Ephesians 4:1-3

LOVE is patient and kind so WALK bearing with one another.

Bear with in the original language means to hold up or keep back from falling, to bear patiently and is spoken of having patience with the errors of weaknesses of others. It implies the idea of giving another person/believer room to grow in their faith and their walk.

When I am impatient my words and actions are rushed and rude. When I walk with an attitude of bearing with my words and actions are to be patient and kind.

Life is hard. Relationships are messy. How do we love one another and extend grace when we just don’t feel like it, or when it seems impossible given the current situation we are facing? How do we walk in love?

In reading through Ephesians 4:1-5:21, we find some answers as we look at two repeated words in this passage.

Do you know God loves you? If you answered yes, I do not mean just head knowledge, but do you REALLY know it?

Personally I have struggled with this in certain situations throughout my walk as a believer. My first response would be to say, “Of course I know God loves me.” I know He does. But my actions often reveal an area of my heart and life that does not truly believe He does. True and perfect love is a love that is only found in God. And it trusts. When I’m having trouble trusting God, I’m not loving Him completely.…continue reading

The Father is reminding me to “love better” everywhere I turn. Most recently the reminder has come in Ephesians 5:1-2, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” But what does it mean to walk in love? What does this love walk look like in my every day life?

In the original language of Scripture, the word for walk in this verse means to conduct one’s daily life.

It’s about my moments in the day.

It’s about mychoices—how I choose to respond in the moments of my day.…continue reading