Category Archives: Being a Gazan

On 24th of Aug of the last year I started my work at school. It was long, tiring, and as if I were in a completely different world. I was sad for leaving Belal while he was still 8 months old. I was looking at the first grade students while they were crying. The scene of a mother leaving her child while he is yelling, “I want to go with you” was so sad that I cried many times during that day when I tried to persuade them to stay but they didn’t turn their eyes away from their mothers. My tears rolled over my cheeks, and I tried to hide myself to make sure teachers didn’t see me.

I was eagerly waiting for the 25th of Aug to meet my students, and I thought of some ideas to make them feel happy on their first day of school. I bought them sweets and stars. I prepared the cards and toys.
The school is supposed to start today, yet the beginning of the year seems to be very far. My school may be turned into a shelter for people who are displaced now. Do they write something on the boards? Do the children therein play the game of teachers and students? Did they prepared new pencils or bags? They have nothing. Their school things are under the rubbles. they no longer have uniforms, books or pencilcases. they may even dream of the day on which school starts so that their parents give them shekels to buy a piece of biscuits.This time, their parents have nothing to give them, nor can they provide them a safe place to live in.

I’m ashamed to feel sad for leaving my son for 6 hours while there are children whose parents left them forever.I may not cry for the children who leave their mums. I’m afraid I may cry over the loss of some of my students, the stories of bombing their houses or their tears when they talk about their families that were massacred.
What happiness may a star or some candy bring to a child who has lost every thing? This year is going to be sad, very sad!

Because there was no electricity. We see the light for 3 hours out of 24, and sometimes more than 24.

There was no internet connection since the third day of the aggression, and there was no nerves to write anything, Just following up the news with tears.

(2) this time is different

It was Ramadan. That war was much more brutal than the previous ones. Israel was crazy killing civilians, destroying their homes over their heads, and slaughtering their children. I thought to myself, this war cannot continue till the Eid! This massacres must end before the Eid. However, I was wrong.

(3) My Eid

I used to go to the Eid prayer every year. How can Israel prevent me from going to the mosque this time? I’m wrathful.

I bought new clothes for me and my son. How can they prevent us from wearing them?

How can they prevent us from buying the Eid chocolate and making the sweets?

I’m ashamed to say I’m sad for such things regardless of how much they mean to me. There are people who lost their beloved ones, lost their homes, lost parts of their bodies. I’m ashamed to say I’m sad. I’m ashamed to wear my new clothes in a time they have nothing to wear except for the clothes they were wearing when they were forced to leave their homes under the fire of the Israeli rockets!

(4) Destruction:

Looking at al Shajaeya massacre photos makes me wonder how this destruction may be removed, when this completely wiped out neighborhoods will be rebuilt, how would an old man feel when he sees the building he spent his whole life saving money to build was wiped out in a blink of an eye, just like a piece of biscuits! How might a child ever forget the moment his parents were crazy carrying him and running in the streets among thousands of people some of whom were killed before his eyes and no one could help!

This is the ‘victory’ Israel achieved in Al Shajaeya:

(5) My sister’s house

My sister lives in an eastern area so that we insisted she must leave her house once we heard about Al Shajaeya massacre. She left, but left behind her memories and life praying that the house stays safe till this damn war end. This is what an Israeli airstrike turned her house into..

Israel slaughtered more than 1000 civilian Palestinians and injured more than 6000 to tell their people they ended the Palestinian resistance, they ended the Palestinian missiles, and they want Palestinians to reject the resistance. However, all Palestinians support the resistance much more than they did before. The injured ones and the martyrs’ families all say they are ready to scarify and support resistance with all what they have.

” ‘Israel’ always claims that it wants to create a peaceful reality so children in the Middle East won’t have to live in fear and violence of war. Yet, ‘Israel’ killed hundreds of children and killed their dreams with them. What’s happening in Gaza these days is unbelievable, is incredible, and is unfair.
“If somebody was sending rockets into my house where my two daughters sleep at night, I am going to do everything in my power to stop that, and I would expect ‘Israelis’ to do the same” President Barack Obama!
What possible explanation could defend the deliberate attacks against civilians in their houses? What is the justification of targeting women and children were they live and play? Don’t we, just like Obama, have the duty to protect our children and houses? Don’t we have the responsibility to react in self-defense?
There is no moral equivalent between ‘Israel’ who is knowingly targeting innocent women and children and the Palestinian resistance who specifically targets, military ‘Israeli’ soldiers, the terrorists! And that’s the difference.”

..

Each time Israelis –stupidly- think they would end Palestinians makes Palestinians much stronger. Each time Israelis think they may cause Palestinians to hate the resistance they make them love and support it much more than before. Each time Israelis think they would be safe by killing children they become much more coward.

Only Palestinians get more faithful, strong, and –despite of their grief- hopeful.

I have never payed attention to the date of such a day. I was always hearing about it through school daily program, and I was always forgetting about it by the second the program ends.

This year, Google drew my attention to it. I love Google styles. Once they change the style, I click on the new one tho know what anniversary it is.

Today, Google celebrates the Universal Children’s Day while children of Gaza are being massacred with every elapsing minute.

Google celebrates the Universal Children’s Day while children of Gaza are being trapped under debris of their houses which were damaged over their heads!

Google celebrates the Universal Children’s Day while children of Gaza are being slaughtered, burned, and targeted with huge rockets for playing!

I googled the word “Universal Children’s Day” and found this:

“On December 14, 1954, the UN General Assembly recommended that all countries should introduce an annual event from 1956 known as Universal Children’s Day to encourage fraternity and understanding between children all over the world and promoting the welfare of children.”

Just please, look at the welfare of Gazan children. 25 were massacred on the day of children only, while more than hundred were slaughtered during the last 7 days!

We teach life, sir.
We Palestinians teach life after they have occupied the last sky.
We teach life after they have built their settlements and apartheid walls, after the last skies.
We teach life, sir.

I’m neither writing to argue who has started, nor do I writing to plead. I just want to speak about a place on earth where people experience death every moment while they are still alive, and where people suddenly die with no throes.

[2]

It’s Gaza

The last few days, a mother delivered her baby boy (Matar) on the same day her son (Matar, 17 years) was killed. It’s Gaza where people never die, where life goes on despite of every tragedy the city goes through, and where everything seems to grant people more strength.

[3]

I’m pregnant,

And the strangest feeling I may feel at these moments is that the little embryo inside my womb moves strongly and quickly once a strong bombing shakes everything around.

[4]

Buzzzzzzzzzzzz

The city is drowning in darkness, and the buzzing of the Zionist spy planes is getting louder and louder. My bed is shaking at the moment, and sounds of explosions are deafening. I just cannot understand how my mother simply says, “go to bed”.

[5]

Nothing to lose!

I was reading Nothing to Lose but Your Life by Suad Amiry. I thought, it will be okay if I just lost my life. No Suad, I have many things to lose. I may lose the life of my husband, brother, father, mother, or sister. I may lose a part of my body. I may lose my eight-month embryo. I will be lucky if it is about losing my life only.

[6]

Facebook

The home page suddenly turns into a news screen on which all of my friends write the same status update: Qasef!!!, Bombing.

[7]

Irony

Despite of this rain of fire, I want people to know 15th of November is Palestine’s independence day =D

Anyway, it’s a nice opportunity to live the lie of Yasser Arafat.

this is how Gaza looked today, and is still, however; in darkness now :

[8]

I don’t care

I don’t care about what anybody on earth thinks of Gazans. I don’t care if they called us terrorists. At this moment, I want resistance to go on stronger and stronger. I want resistance to force them stay in their shelters forever. I want them to know we never go to shelters, we never make shelters, even. Shelters are for cowards, and Israel knows, very well, we are not!