a cookbook filled with canine love and laughter – a narrative filled with dog hair and wagging tails

competition

Malcolm and I have several running competitions. I guess this comes from both of us being the youngest in sibling packs of three older sisters for me and five older sibs for Malc.

Our fun and games range from who has had the most speeding tickets: Malcolm wins this one hands down. To who loads the dishwasher better: Malcolm only thinks he wins this one. I lay claim to being the better cook, the better Boggle player, and the better driver (hee hee). We see saw between who holds their breath longest and who can guess the correct answers to questions that come over the radio. We bet over the silliest things. Malcolm still claims I owe him 20 massages. It’s so not gonna happen. (He just read this and has made me add: “It’s 31 massages” and he hasn’t had a back rub since our second year of marriage). Well hello, once I got the ring I didn’t need to give any more massages. Duh!

But there is one competition we are stilling wrangling over – who the girls love more. Me or him. Him or me.

This ongoing battle is a tough contest, cuz one, Malcolm tends to the girls during the day while I’m at work. And, even though, I bring home their bacon, Malcolm gets to fry it. And two, Malcolm gives them their daily walks out in Galisteo. An event Dolce and Amore equate with pure ecstasy. So, I then try to make up for it with sneaking Dolce and Amore treats when Malc isn’t looking. Hey, I have to make up the lost ground somehow. Spoil’em with dog biscuits and they will love you forever, I say.

All this has Malc and I determining the “most loved” winner in other ways…..

You know your dog loves you when they sleep with you. This one is a tie. Dolce and Amore takes afternoon naps with Malcolm but they crawl into bed with me when I retire for the night. Malcolm – 1 Megs – 1

Yea! I win the this next one! Dolce is very protective of me. When I’m out in the garage, Dolce sits in the doorway, guarding for intruders. She’ll sit there never moving from her spot, patiently waiting for me. Protecting me. Malcolm – 0 Megs – 1

They get excited when we come home. Bummer. Another tie. Malcolm – 1 Megs – 1

Dogs aren’t cuddlers by nature, so when they do snuggle in with their owners, it’s love at it’s finest. Dolce has always been a cuddler, curling up in my lap for love and hugs. Amore is just now learning the art of the couch cuddle. 8 1/2 years old and she’s finally getting it. And since, Dolce is kinda mine and Amore is kinda Malcolm’s, I win by default. Malcolm – 0 Megs – 1

Nothing says “I trust you” more than showing your vulnerability. If an animal is comfortable exposing their underside, they trust you. It makes our heart smile when Dolce or Amore is on their back, front paws bent at the elbows, back legs up in the air. Sound asleep and snoring. Even our fat cat goes paws up. There’s this warm tingly feeling we get when we see their unspoken trust. Malcolm – 1 Megs – 1

They jump on you. Oh, Malcolm gets this point. We all know Amore is our A.D.D. child and has no boundaries. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard Malcolm scream, “not my nuts!” as Amore is jumping on him, over him, or around him. Malcolm – 1 Megs – 0

In most cases, tail wagging is a sure sign of affection. Dolce will offer a gentle tail thump when I rub her ears, or when I whisper sweet nothings as she leans up against me. Amore gives more of tail whack and hack as she checks in on Malcolm when he reads on the couch. And while Malcolm gets a point for Amore’s stronger tail wag, he loses two for her breaking our coffee mugs in one strong tail swipe. He needs to learn to keep the coffee cup away from tails. Malcolm (-1) Megs – 0

In actuality, dog licks are doggy kisses. Plain and simple. When your dog gives you that wet, sloppy tongue, it’s a kiss. A canine kiss, but a kiss all the same. It’s affection and love all roll up in one pooch smooch. Amore is our licker. She can spend an hour just licking your hand and licking it clean. Malcolm’s hand. Point goes to Malc. Malcolm – 1 Megs – 0

When there’s thunder, there’s lightning. When that boom boom boom goes off in the far distance, Amore gets scared. Scared, shaking and trembling, Amore is a wreck. When scared, dogs will stay close to their human caretakers, wanting their reassurance. When Amore is scared, she wants to be on top of us. Particularly Malcolm. And particularly me. It doesn’t matter which one of us. This is a tie. Malcolm – 1 Megs – 1

Oh gawd! They follow you. Everywhere. From room to room. To the kitchen, to the den, to the bathroom. NOTHING is sacred. If you close the door, they paw it. If you lock the door, they scratch it. Because Malcolm gets shadowed during the daytime hours, he gets this little gimme. Tap it on in Malc. Malcolm – 1 Megs – 0

How do you know your dog loves you? Man, you can feel it! It’s in their eyes as they gaze at you. It’s in their body language as they lean up against you. It’s in their gentle muzzle as they nose for treats and it’s in their hugs and cuddles and loves. It’s their joy in walking a new trail and their happiness when riding in the car. Malcolm and I both feel their love. It’s a great feeling. Malcolm – 1 Megs – 1

When it comes to who the girls love more….

It’s love-love. No score. Unconditional from both Amore and Dolce. For both of us. Malcolm and Megs.

the mutt manuscripts
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The Newest Trick

the mutt manuscripts

Meet the girls!

Two of the most beautiful and very spoiled Bernese Mountain Dogs, whose adorable, funny antics will bring chuckles and smiles and sometimes a few tears as you read their tales. True stories, hilarious escapades, and entertaining dog adventures, all chronicling their heartwarming and humorous capers, along with their playful frolics that often times land these fearless canines in the dog house.

Touching and tender, amusing and comical, these moving narratives and snippets of their lives impart bow-wow wisdom and show the loyalty and love between man's best friend and their human care givers.

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