What’s that, you say? There’s actually a different UFC event going down this weekend on Fox? THE PREDATOR HAS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR MIDDLING CABLE TV CARDS. And if you don’t like how he does business, he’s sure there’s a Designing Women marathon with your name on it playing somewhere, bud.

After opening up this edition of “Predator’s Predictions” by alienating his dissenters as pathetic girlie-men and thanking Seth Macfarlane for bringing back Brian on Family Guy, Frye launches right into his usual mix of whiskey-soaked predictions and occasionally misogynistic insights. A few highlights:

With Georges St-Pierre, Anderson Silva, and Cain Velasquez all currently out of action due to injuries or bitter hiatuses, UFC executives will be scratching their heads trying to come up with marquee fights in 2014. But amidst this gloom, there are a few massive fights that could still happen. Some are more realistic than others, but if the stars align, these matchups would no doubt fill the void. Let’s run them down in order of probability…

Major fights within reach

Jon Jones vs. Alexander Gustafsson 2 or Jon Jones vs. Daniel Cormier: Very few gave Gustafsson the chance to last twenty-five minutes with the champ, let alone nearly dethrone him. The two engaged in a thrilling yet technical battle at UFC 165, which was as entertaining as it was controversial — making a rematch very interesting and potentially lucrative for the UFC. Prior to his first meeting with the Mauler, Jones had dominated every one of his opponents, which led to the New Yorker searching for his “Frazier”, the worthy rival who would define his legacy. Gustafsson could very much play that role as they look to meet again.

On the other hand, Daniel Cormier could play that role just as well. Unlike Gustafsson, Cormier has a genuine dislike towards Jones which would only add hype towards the fight. But, of course, the two potential challengers would have to get by Jimi Manuwa and Rashad Evans, respectively, to get their title shots. And of course there’s a hard-hitting Brazilian named Glover Teixeira who might derail these plans altogether.

Jose Aldo vs. BJ Penn: Incredibly, Penn is looking to become a three-weight world champion as he embarks on his unexpected new life as a featherweight. Before his year-long break from the sport, Penn had been fighting at welterweight without much success. (He hasn’t won a match since his quick knockout of Matt Hughes back in November 2010.) Penn will make his 145-pound debut against old rival Frankie Edgar as he looks to avenge, not one, but two defeats. Even though there is a connection between Penn and Aldo’s head coach Andre Pederneiras, the Prodigy would surely jump at the chance to compete for a belt.

The UFC confirmed last night that UFC 169 — the promotion’s Super Bowl Weekend card that’s scheduled for February 1st, 2014, in Newark — will be headlined by a pair of title fights in the bantamweight and featherweight divisions.

In the main event, bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz will emerge from a 28-month hibernation to face Renan Barao, the interim champ who’s been steady wrecking fools in Cruz’s absence. UFC president Dana White has “made it pretty clear” that if Cruz has to pull out of this title unification bout with another injury, he’ll finally be stripped of his belt and Barao will be named the official champion.

In the co-main event, 145-pound champ (and Barao’s Nova Uniao homeboy) Jose Aldo will attempt to make his sixth UFC title defense against top contender Ricardo Lamas, who’s 4-0 in the UFC including stoppage wins against Cub Swanson and Erik Koch. Aldo is coming off his four-round shredding of Chan Sung Jung at UFC 163, which gave the Brazilian his 16th consecutive victory overall, as well as a broken foot.

Got any predictions, Potato Nation? And are two competitive title fights in the lighter weight classes just as interesting as one Jon Jones squash match?

Crappy story coming out of Rio today, ‘Taters. Yan Cabral, the teammate of UFC champs Jose Aldo and Renan Barao who made an impressive debut for the promotion Wednesday night at UFC Fight Night 29, was robbed at gunpoint just two days later near his Nova Uniao gym in Rio. MMA Fighting‘s Guilherme Cruz first reported this story in the states.

The robbers either got real lucky or were following Cabral for some time as the undefeated Brazilian welterweight was coming from the bank where he had taken out money to pay manager and head coach Andre Pederneiras. Two men with guns pulled up on motorcycle, pointed a gun at Cabral’s head and took his backpack, containing his training gear and cash. Fortunately, Cabral was not injured during the robbery.

“I’ve lived in Rio 15 years and this never happened,” Cabral told O Dia. “It was a big shock.”

(And to think, if the guy on the left had won, we’d have a new outright champion by now. Photo via MMAFighting.)

October 1st will mark the two year anniversary (?) of the last time we saw bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz defend his title in the octagon. Multiple ACL tears and a rejected cadaver ligament transplant have seen the once dominant champion sidelined ever since his 2011 battle with now flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson. As such, the bantamweight division has been stuck in a perpetual state of limbo, frustrating fans, fighters and most importantly, Dominick Cruz.

But perhaps the only person more frustrated by Cruz’s arduous road to recovery than the champ himself is interim title holder Renan Barao, who recently became the first fighter in UFC history to defend said title twice (via a second round KO of Eddie Wineland at UFC 165). Actually, Barao is the first fighter in UFC history to ever defend an interim belt. Unfortunately, the Brazilian isn’t seeing many benefits of being the closest thing to a champion his division has seen in a dog’s age.

That’s at least, according to Nova Uniao head trainer Andre Pederneiras, who recently appeared on MMAJunkie radio to discuss Barao’s current predicament:

He’s very frustrated because he needs to make money. So many sponsors here in Brazil are not sponsoring him because he’s not the real champion from the UFC. He’s the interim champion. He’s losing money every day.

(Alright BJ, now that you’ve kicked your training camp up a notch, it’s time to fire your dietician.)

Before B.J. Penn joined the UFC and became a multi-division champion and future hall of famer, he received his black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu from Nova Uniao’s head coach, Andre Pederneiras. Now, as Penn plans his come back fight against Frankie Edgar in 2014, the fighter has asked Pederneiras to help prepare him.

Pederneiras coaches featherweight champion Jose Aldo, so he has experience preparing for Edgar. “We’ve studied Edgar’s game a lot for Aldo’s fight,” he said, according to MMA Fighting‘s Guilherme Cruz.

“So I believe there’s no better place and sparring’s better for B.J. to come back in great fashion and motivated.”

Details are not official but Pederneiras says that he wants Penn to conduct his training camp in Rio where he can train with the likes of Aldo and bantamweight champion Renan Barao. This is an interesting piece of news, though it may be premature to assume anything about what Penn will do just yet.

First off, we were under the impression that Penn was told he’d get a chance to fight for the featherweight title if he were to beat Edgar, as they are doing the bout at 145 pounds. Their first two fights were lightweight title affairs. That seemed dubious at first precisely because of Penn’s connection to Aldo’s Nova Uniao’s team. It seems unlikely that Pederneiras would prepare Penn to become the #1 contender to his prize pupil’s title.

After ripping the lightweight world title away from Benson Henderson this past Saturday at UFC 164, Anthony Pettis immediately called out dominant featherweight champion Jose Aldo in the Octagon. The two have “unfinished business,” Pettis said.

The rest is history…as well as an exciting mess of future match-up possibilities. Just days after the lightweight division was shaken up by Pettis’ armbar win, every one seems to be calling out everyone else, but some how no one’s interests are quite matching up yet.

After UFC 164 and Pettis’ call out of Aldo, the featherweight’s manager and coach, Andre Pederneiras tweeted in Portuguese, “I believe now we will see Pettis returning his lightweight belt and moving down to fight Aldo at 145 [pounds],” according to MMA Fighting’s Guilherme Cruz.

“We were not the ones who left the fight in Rio, and I want to see [Pettis] make 145. This fight will happen, don’t worry. We just want equal rights to the Brazilians,” he went on.

“I’ve known Andre for years. But when you come out and make a statement like that, you make it look like (Aldo) is afraid. And that might not be Aldo’s same opinion. It makes it look like he’s afraid of Anthony Pettis, which already gives Anthony Pettis an advantage.”

The reason we say all this is because in a recent interview with Tatame, the normally reserved featherweight kingpin not only came out in support of TRT and stated that he plans on using it in the future, but insinuated that beloved MMA icon Randy “The Natural” Couture was probably on steroids at one point or another during his career.

I don’t see the problem with using TRT. Everybody uses [steroids], from the champion to the newcomer. I believe we [from Nova Uniao] are the only ones that don’t do that, because Andre (Pederneiras) was always against steroids. I think it’s wrong to criticize someone who came forward and said they take TRT.

The “Korean Zombie” also suffered a fractured orbital bone during the loss, his manager Brian “Shug” Rhee told FOX Sports.

Orbital bone breaks are often seen in combat sports like MMA and boxing. Treatment and recovery time vary depending on severity. According to Rhee, Jung is expected to visit specialists for both his shoulder and eye by the end of the week, and should have more information about his expected prognosis then.

Honestly, we can’t recall the last time two men suffered so many in-ring and delayed injuries from a single fight. Unless you consider a Brazilian gas station a “ring,” which they obviously do, so we don’t know why we just made that last statement.

Update: This is unreal. One of these two gentleman just reported *another* injury, the details of which are after the jump.

Just days after successfully defending his UFC featherweight championship, Jose Aldo was hospitalized for kidney stones. MMA Fighting passed along word of Aldo’s condition, reporting that the Brazilian fighter was diagnosed on Tuesday and spent time at a hospital in Rio:

“Dr. Marcio Tannure, the UFC’s doctor in Brazil, told MMAFighting.com that the UFC featherweight champion was taken to Copa D’Or hospital in Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro and diagnosed with kidney stones Tuesday. UOL first reported the news.”

Tannure went on to say that he is unsure of whether Aldo has already passed the stones or not and is waiting to hear from the champ’s camp. Aldo also broke his foot against Chan Sung Jung at UFC 163 and is not expected to fight again until 2014.

This writer has never had kidney stones but has known folks who have. And, judging from the apparent pain they were in, we’re willing to bet Aldo is dealing with some pain slightly below Tito Ortiz’s cracked skull but definitely above Jon Jones’ mangled toe. Reportedly, Aldo has had stones before.