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CANCER lIlm FOUNDATION 245 5TH AVENUE, SUITE 1403, NEW YORK, NY 1OOl6 HËlÊHE cURfis THERMASilK ticketmaster get tickets at ticketmaster.com 212.307.7171 · 631.888.9000 · 845.454.3388 201.507.8900 · 609.520.8383 · 203.624.0033 AU Ticketnaster Outlets hcluding Fllene's, Tower Records, H''''IV Record Stores, J&R Musk World, NBA Store, Ritmo latino, CD World and Scotti's Record Shop Ö 2003 The Condé Nast Publications Inc. 90 THE NEW YORKER, MAY 5, 2003 self He would abandon this habit, be- come self-conscious, probablywithin the next few months. It took a great deal of restraint not to drop the phone and run out and hold him against her-as if Dick I might find him first and claim him. "I'm so glad that Cole didn't answer the phone," N aney said. "I just couldn't have talked to that sweet child." She paused. "But maybe you could make sure he hasn't heard from Dick?" While Cole stomped through the snow, Naney berated herse saying that she should have known how upset Dick was, that last day; by the way he'd walked through the puddles on the way to school, "letting all of that street. . . shit. . . get on him." Ann was shocked. Not by the pud- dles-boys, puddles, what could be more predictable?-but by Naney's resorting to profanity. "He's hiding somewhere, I know, and he's afraid to come back" His father's wrath, Ann thought, his mother's fear-the glory of his having inspired it, the awesomeness of its combined force. N aney said, "I mean, he became obsessed with negative things-black windows and all those dead pets. When did he get so fascinated with . . . badness?" This made Ann recall Winky the cat, her black body twirling in the comer of the pool, the net extraordinarily heavy with its saturated load. Her neck had been broken by a dog, Ann had told her daughter, inventing an explanation, a chase among members of the natural order that had ended tragically: "Please pray for us," N aney said in closing. It cost Ann nothing to agree. Richard, listening later to the news about Dick, was stunned. He had a hard time assimilating information that he didn't want to believe. It was as if his loyal heart had thrown up a shield around him, fending off the darker impulses. She had not done what she'd told Nancy she would do-ask Cole if he'd heard from his friend. She waited until her son was asleep, until she and Richard were in bed. Then, when he began stroking her breasts, a preamble to sex, she stopped him with the news. His hand froze, moved back to his own chest, Richard immobilized, speeclùess. "Those poor people," he said finally: "Those poor, poor people." He disagreed with her plan to Wlthhold the news from Cole: he might know something crucial. What if the situation were reversed, he said, wouldn't Ann want Naney to ask Dick? "But Cole would never run away," Ann insisted. ' d I can tell by looking at him that he hasn't heard from Dick He'd 11 " te me. They lay in bed, talking quietly. Aside from issues relating to the children, they didn't spend much time, anymore, talk- ing. "You know what else, Rich? I think maybe our moving played some part in Dick's changing. I mean, the cat was the first dead-animal incident. It was Dick who told me." "What cat?" Ann closed her mouth, realizing for the first time that the kind lie she'd told Cole the summer before had not been corrected for her husband. Even Lizzie had heard a truer version of events than Richard had. "Winky," she said. "On moving da)!." Now she explained, a revelation that made him angry with her, surprisingly angry: He rose up on an elbow and looked down on her. Why would she treat him like a child? he asked. Why wouldn't she tell him this? "I don't know," she said, miserable. He just wasn't part of her inner life; it was as if she'd already started to leave him, pack- ing herself up in preparation, one secret at a time. Richard lay awake beside her. Then he suddenly rolled out of bed, and Ann heard him go mto Cole's room down the hall. When she got there, he was gently but insistently rousing their boy: "Son?" he said. " D "" A . d " H d h . on t. nn sal. e nee s IS I " seep. But Richard would not be dissuaded. When Cole finally woke, he told them that he hadn't spoken to Dick since that last weird phone call. "Weird phone call?" Richard de- manded, as if Ann had withheld that from him, too. Her son sat sleepily awestruck, a frown gathering on his forehead. "Where's Dick?" he asked. I t became a nightly query. Where was Dick? Now, as bedtime approached, Ann felt Cole's terror growing. In the dark, he imagined that the worst had happened to his friend. He imagined his worst, Dick's mother imagined her worst, everyone suffering a private fictional nightmare. At bedtime, Ann crawled in