On this point, I can't resist reproducing a blurb I wrote in my foodie column for a local alternative weekly newspaper today, about a sommelier buddy's upcoming German Wine course ...

If you shy away from the wines of Germany because you still haven’t gotten over that unfortunate incident with Blue Nun at a college party, or even if you simply find it hard to warm up to a wine with a name like Katzenjammerschnitzelbankdistefinkliebchen Funkenbejabbers Riesling on the label, here’s your chance to get a completely different view of the nectars of the Rhine and Mosel: Sommelier Scott Harper, the affable wine guy for the Bristol Bar & Grille restaurants, will teach an informative (and tasty) three-session course on the subject next month. The course, part of Bellarmine University’s School of Continuing & Professional Studies, will run June 12, 19 and 26 at the Bristol-Downtown, 614 W. Main St. It’s $119 for a single, $215 for a couple, including the wine. For info or to register, call Bellarmine at 452-8166.

Just remember that Wehlner means it comes from Wehlen, just like putting Sonoma Valley on the label.

They can't change the fact that they are German and there fore use a different language.

Also there are some lovely (and easy) wines on the market. What about the 2004 St. Urbans Hof Riesling ($11.99) or even the Dr. L Riesling ($8.99) or better than either, the Kesseler Riesling 'R' ($7.99). These are not confusing, do not need a primer on the back label, and are all three deliciously quaffable. Their only fault as far as I can see is that they don't have some cute #$&*ing animal on the label to make them fun and simple.

Talk less, smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for.

Bob Ross wrote:I believe German winemakers would be well advised to add back label information in any event to help clear up the confusions about their wines.

Regards, Bob

What confusion? German wine labels are the most descriptive in the world.

Nope!

I severely disagree. German wine labels — as those from Alsace and parts of the Loire region — usually give absolutely no hint whether to expect a dry, medium dry or definitely sweet wine. That's quite opposed to Austrian wine labels where EU sweetness designation is compulsory.

Bob Ross wrote:I believe German winemakers would be well advised to add back label information in any event to help clear up the confusions about their wines.

Regards, Bob

What confusion? German wine labels are the most descriptive in the world.

Nope!

I severely disagree. German wine labels — as those from Alsace and parts of the Loire region — usually give absolutely no hint whether to expect a dry, medium dry or definitely sweet wine. That's quite opposed to Austrian wine labels where EU sweetness designation is compulsory.

If all you are worried about is sweetness then that's true to a degree. Most of the trockens still say "trocken", and will say it if at all possible since there is such a call for dry wines.

Talk less, smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for.

David M. Bueker wrote:Also there are some lovely (and easy) wines on the market. What about the 2004 St. Urbans Hof Riesling ($11.99) or even the Dr. L Riesling ($8.99) or better than either, the Kesseler Riesling 'R' ($7.99). These are not confusing, do not need a primer on the back label, and are all three deliciously quaffable. Their only fault as far as I can see is that they don't have some cute #$&*ing animal on the label to make them fun and simple.

David,
Came across a wine the other day - a Selbach Riesling Kabinett 2004 (Mosel-Saar-Ruwer) - that had a fish on the label. It made it clear this wine was to match seafood. It also sported a screwcap. It was definitely fun and simple.
Cheers,
Sue

David, Came across a wine the other day - a Selbach Riesling Kabinett 2004 (Mosel-Saar-Ruwer) - that had a fish on the label. It made it clear this wine was to match seafood. It also sported a screwcap. It was definitely fun and simple. Cheers, Sue

But Sue, was the fish cute? David doesn't like cute animals on his labels, so he might have a problem with a cute fish.

One of my all time favorites for making it abundantly clear what you were supposed to serve with the wine was the Dopff Irion bottle, where the label was, uh, encrusted with crustaceans.

There was always the Pescevino fish-shaped bottle, sure, but that wine was so god awful I could never bring myself to have it after the first time.

There was a German red that had a monkey on the bottle. I wonder what that was for??!!

Assmanshauser!!! Had a few of those. But not in a long, long time. And not just a monkey, mind you, a monkey molded into the bottle itself, then painted in a really tacky reddish-bronze gold color.

Funny---it was so strange, I guess I never asked why the monkey.

How about all those "special" Chianti and Lambrusco 1.5l and 3.0L novelty bottles with the long, long (and more than slightly obscene) phallic necks about three feet tall, shaped like ships and elephants and swordfish? Always wondered about people who bought those damned things.

Hoke wrote:Well, there's also this little place called Neandertal (or Neanderthal)...

Well, yeah, but there we're reversing cause and effect. Those ancient bones were originally found in the valley of the Neander and were named for their location. But I don't think they found apes in the Affental ...