Jan 18 Mary Wollstonecraft's "Vindication of the Rights of Women": A Summary

For centuries, bros have treated hoes like they’re completely worthless. To be honest, they’re not far from wrong, but for some reason they also seem to think that if they keep treating us that way we’ll somehow fix ourselves or something. Yeah, six thousand years of male dominance, but we’re right the fuck around the corner from catching up, guys. That plan has turned out great so far.

D you want to know why women fit your stereotypes of stupid, silly creatures? Because they’re taught that it’s the only way to be. That’s what happens when all the bros running education just want pretty idiots to take as mistresses instead of smart ladies to take as wives. Every girl is being taught by these assholes, so if you’re frustrated that your wife is like a mistress who spends her time shopping instead of putting out, stop pointing fingers, bro. No wonder she wants nothing more than to shop and drink tea - I don’t care how resilient you are, twenty years of being told pretty is the highest value and eventually anyone would start to believe it.

From day one men get ready to make money and be respectable. If you’re a bro, it doesn’t matter how poor you start - work hard, be a little smarter than everyone else, and you can be a doctor or a lawyer or anything else. Being a bro is fucking sweet. Women? We get to marry well, and that’s it. Options fucking exhausted. Complain all you want, but when every piece of literature, music, or poetry a man produces talks about demure, thoughtless wives who spend their husbands’ money, patterns will emerge.

I’m not saying women are better than men, or that we should be in charge of men, or anything like that. I’m just saying, we want some goddamn options. Some of us, it turns out, are really great housewives and mothers and we’ll raise the fuck out of your kids. But when not every woman has the option to marry well, we should give them the ability to figure their own shit out, instead of creating helpless women who have no cavalry coming for them, and then they’re spinsters who produce nothing. You know that one really fucking annoying aunt we all have, the one with the cats and the crazy? She’s smart as shit, but kind of hideous? No one wants that; no one has ever thought, “You know what the world needs more of? Lonely annoying cat ladies.” If someone had just given her a book about the law, maybe she would have been a lawyer and no one would have to take care of her. And then we all win.

It’s time the government started considering women as people, instead of just as wives. We pay taxes, too; we’re done with the divine right of kings and taxation without representation. Why the fuck do we still have to deal with divine right of husbands and taxation of voiceless wives?

Look, if you want women to stop being weak, stupid complainers who waste money, start educating them. Even I think women are dumb as shit, and I am one. They read bullshit romances and believe in horoscopes and thinks with their hearts instead of their brains. And for thousands of years you’ve been like, “What’s up with dumb bitches?” all while you crank them the fuck out like it’s your job. It’s time to try something new: teach them reason, and see if they aren’t more reasonable. Let them think, and see if they don’t. Encourage them to raise their kids and be kind to their servants, and see if they aren’t so moody all the time.

In conclusion, it’s no fucking wonder bros are awesome; women could be great too, if you would just let them.