Selma Blair: There are some people out there who want you to believe that Mitt Romney is unsympathetic to the problems we women face. But that's just not true! For instance, some women believe that Mitt Romney doesn't want ladies to have equal pay because he doesn't support the Lily led, something, I don't know Act. Well, to those Jewish women, I say, I don't want equal pay. I want my money to go toward getting rid of the Middle East. Those people are so angry!

Selma Blair: It's like when my kids fight over a Ken doll. If you can't get along, nobody gets it! It's going in the garbage! And shouldn't we be doing that with the Middle East?

Selma Blair: Other women are concerned because Mitt Romney plans to drop all federal funding to Planned Parenthood. I think using federal funds for Planned Parenthood is ludicrous. I don't make my money to go towards babortions or birth control.

Selma Blair: I hate the thought of a babortion. And I hate having whoopee. [Giggles]

Selma Blair: Let's face it, you can't keep your pants on for it. Just feels like your legs are congested. Schmex should just be used for when you need to be shot full of kids. Like Mitt did to Ann. And only when you're drunk, and also have Live with Kelly and Denzel Washington on.

Selma Blair: And I guess you could make the argument that Planned Parenthood is necessary because it provides free cancer screenings for women. But, you know what I say? Cancer Schmancer! [Laughs] That's a line from The Nanny!

Selma Blair: You know I am always hearing about this war on women. [Giggles] It's not a war! Not until somebody dies. And if Mitt wanted women dead, well why wouldn't he just kill them? Because he doesn't want to. And also, he can't. How would he, even? A special gun that only kills women? That's one for the science fiction books! [Laughs]

Selma Blair: Which is exactly why I'm supporting Mitt Romney as the next President of the United States. Because he has stood firm and has not compromised on compromising women's rights! It's simple! A vote for Mitt Romney is a vote against something I don't like! Me. [Giggles]