Moving on from Friends that Use You

Are you one of those friends that has to make all the effort in your relationships? Maybe you have often wondered if your friends are just there for what you can do for them. Click here to read my article on how to move on from friends that emotionally drain you and possibly use you.

It happens. I had a friend many many years ago who was very destructive, very judgemental. She was the most negative person I knew and very draining. It got harder and harder to call her. The day I stopped phoning her was a day I don’t regret.

Yes it’s a very hard thing to do, but when not only you recognize the negativity and the traits of a friend that is using you, controlling you or draining your energy in some way, but your other friends start to point it out, it’s then that you need to step back and take a look at what you have been enabling. If you have compassion for people and your nature is to help, it is a very hard decision to finally cut them off. When you do, you suddenly feel so much lighter! You know that it was for the best.

That’s so true. It took me a long time, I used to spend hours on the phone to her, listening, offering advice and encouraging her. Giving her support. There was never, ever any reciprocation. And I always got off the phone totally drained. I occasionally think of her and wonder how she is and hope she’s doing okay. But mostly I’m glad I’ve moved on.

You did the right thing. You can be there for people but if it starts to effect your own health you must put yourself first. Only they can help themselves. Some people unknowingly enjoy being victims and the drama that goes with it.