My life is becoming overwhelmed with first world problems. Each to their own would be laughable, but in the whole, I'm beginning to feel sort of second worldly.

My car got bashed by some lady who pulled out in front of me. I had to get it fixed and drive a cramped rental for a week. I paid nothing. Then I had to take it back because something was loose. Then when doing the warranty work they didn't plug in the lights so I had to reach in and plug them in myself.

Then my wife's car was rear ended and smooshed into the car in front of her. So we had to get that fixed for nothing and another rental.

Then my contractor was held up finishing our basement so we're like 2 weeks behind schedule. Forcing me to work from home today to let people in because the family is gone on summer vacation stuff. Our tile is way too expensive so I have to go pick out a new one to match our granite counters. Otherwise, I'll have to settle on a smaller big screen.

To top it all off I had some minor surgery that was covered by my insurance and spent 2 weeks doing nothing at home while on drugs. I did have to fork over a small deductible. Work has been flexible so I'm easing back into it while working on my 2 big screen monitor setup from home. But the Starbucks coffee at home isn't as good as the Starbucks coffee at work and I've missed several free lunches and donut days. Now that I'm better, they expect me to come into the office.

Then to top it off, Ronaldo.

What are your first world travesties?

__________________
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life.

Setting out for work one morning I noticed that one tyre had deflated. There wasn't enough time to change it and still get to work when I'm required to be there. "No problem," I thought. "I'll just use the other car." How wrong can one be? No sooner had I plonked down into the driver's seat than I noticed that the spare car had not been used for such a long time that the windscreen was covered with a thick layer of dust. I had to turn on the windscreen wipers and washers before it was safe to proceed.

Setting out for work one morning I noticed that one tyre had deflated. There wasn't enough time to change it and still get to work when I'm required to be there. "No problem," I thought. "I'll just use the other car." How wrong can one be? No sooner had I plonked down into the driver's seat than I noticed that the spare car had not been used for such a long time that the windscreen was covered with a thick layer of dust. I had to turn on the windscreen wipers and washers before it was safe to proceed.

We have one of those Ol' Timey cable boxes that only lets you record 2 shows at a time. So if someone programs 2 shows to record you have to watch one of the 2 tween girly kid's shows being recorded rather than the manly show you want to watch. Even if the house is empty and you're there by yourself.

The choices are to cancel one of the 2 shows and hear whining tweens complain about how you ruined their lives, turn it off and take a nap, or get up off the couch and go watch TV on the smaller big screen in the bedroom.

The last thing I want when watching TV is to be pressed into making a decision.

__________________
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life.

Setting out for work one morning I noticed that one tyre had deflated. There wasn't enough time to change it and still get to work when I'm required to be there. "No problem," I thought. "I'll just use the other car." How wrong can one be? No sooner had I plonked down into the driver's seat than I noticed that the spare car had not been used for such a long time that the windscreen was covered with a thick layer of dust. I had to turn on the windscreen wipers and washers before it was safe to proceed.

Not funny, man. Not funny at all. Not only did I have to change the tyre after a hard day's work, but the water tank in the spare car needed refilling! Although there's a tap right next to the driver's door, the end of the hose connected to it was right at the other end of the front yard because that's where I left it last time I had it watering the roses. Not only had I have to go all the way over there to retrieve it, but I also had to disconnect the sprinkler from it before I could refill the damn thing. AND, no matter how often I open the bonnet, I can never remember just where that little thingamabob of a lever is. So I keep fishing for it through the grille, getting my fingers all dusty and grimy in the process. My problems just keep mounting in a relentless procession. Not funny at all!

But I don't want to order anything online because that's not what I'm hungry for.

And I don't feel like getting in my government tested safe, low emission vehicle, and drive to any number of convenience, fast food, or dine in restaurants that are regularly inspected for quality and cleanliness.

I don't have anything thawed for dinner tonight. Almost every restaurant in Flint closes at 10:00 and if I wait until after I work out, they may not be willing to deliver food to me. I would have to put on clothes again to go out and get dinner.

__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette

I lost the modem to lightning, and called the ISP for a new one, and they were all "You have been grandfathered in with this modem. We no longer offer a free modem with service, you'll have to lease one for 8.00/month". I was like "How much to buy it?" he said "100.00" and I was like "For a modem? WTF? No I am not leasing one forever nor buying one from you, I'll go get one". Then nobody in town had a DSL modem and I had to call my dad to see if he was near a Best Buy (we don't have one) and he was, in the next state over, so he bought me one and brought it to me.

When I hook up my motor home to an outside water supply the carpet gets soaking wet. I have no idea where the leak is so I may have to take it to a place that repairs RVs and pay to have it fixed. Alternatively, I may have to forget about hooking up to an outside water supply and just rely on the internal fresh water tank. What a bother!

__________________Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.

My wife did some legal services for a flooring guy, so he's paying her in trade and we're getting free hardwood (well, high-quality laminate that looks like hardwood) for 3 rooms plus the hallway. The fambly room went swimmingly 'cause it's on a slab that was nice and level, but when he started on the other rooms, he found out the floor is all wavy and shit. So he had to put in a sub-floor, plus he is doing this on his time off, so we had to go for DAYS with all the shit from the front room jammed in weird places all over the house. DAYS, people, of looking at shit piled up everywhere and barely a place to eat our meals.

Plus! We've also decided that he's going to redo the kitchen since that laminate sucks and was put in wrong to begin with, so he just up and left a 3-inch gap between the hall and the kitchen that shows that bare subfloor. I'm gonna have to look at that ugly floor gap for, like, weeks maybe. Ugly. Floor. Gap.

So I took to watching television again. The football world championship is on. Luckily I have a TV card in my computer. That way I can watch us Aussies get demolished, and while the German team keeps being incredibly boring in order to not lose a match, I can post shit in forums or do some shit in a spreadsheet. The card and software is about eight years old now, and has migrated to its third desktop and monitor now. And THE FOOTBALL IS NOT ROUND! Worse still, I can't find a way to fix the aspect ratio. Must I invest in a new TV card or dongle? Oh, the horror!

__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette

Our stupid address got randomly selected by the stupid Census Bureau for the stupid American Community Survey, so I'm sitting here having to do things like remember the actual month and year I bought the house, then count all the rooms, and find last month's gas and electric bills AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE YET.

And this is after Day Two of not getting a burrito. (I'm getting one tonight, but it is a different kind of burrito than the one I wanted.)

I'm sorry, everborty. I should have posted last night but, well, I was in just a miserable state. I hope nobody was too worried that I wasn't going to feed myself yesterday. Because I did cowbort up and go outside and eat. And then because I was I ate so much I was physically miserable for a while. Please forgive me.

Also, pea. You can be proud of me. I did the math and there are six tex-mex-cali-sw style places to eat within a few miles of where I live. (Okay, five that I know for sure and there's a sixth that I need to investigate.) Granted they're probably not the burritocea* like you have at the end of your driveway but considering this isn't the grande metropolis of Lolorado, I feel p good about that factoid.

*Burritocea - portmanteau of burrito and panacea, meaning a wonderful heavenly place of perfection but with burritos instead of humangs.