... because it's still morning, barely, here in L.A. Amazed to wake up groggily and find that Dan Zak is looking so brighteyed -- despite having stayed up later than me and waking up earlier to file his amazing parties story. And I'm still looking forward to reading it. And to your questions.

Gang, I think the secret Hollywood tries to keep more so than who is in the closet are the actor' heights. So you were at the parties, who is really short or tall? James F? Jake? Do tell.

A: Jen Chaney

I think it's sort of a non-secret secret that actors are short.

I didn't run into him this year, but I can tell you that Seacrest is short. (Shocker.) The most diminutive male I saw last night by far was Prince, who I almost walked right into as I entered the Elton John party. He disappeared so quickly I didn't even get to say hi, but I could tell he's not much taller than I am. And I'm almost legally an elf.

No Franco sightings for the three of us at the parties last night. We think he was busy getting ready for his own after-after party, clearly the hot destination of choice for those leaving Vanity Fair.

But yes, everyone is short. Mostly, though, that's because they look bigger in the movies, because they fill up the whole screen, you know? I was struck by seeing Adrian Brody, and while he's not short, he's not as tall as you expect. You expect him to just loom. He doesn't. Only looming guy last night was Quentin Aaron from "The Blind Side."

I'm officially obsessed. I need a live feed of him, 24-7. I also thought he was going to kiss Jude Law onstage and was oddly disappointed when he didn't. Talk about a bromance! I hear the three of them, his lovely wife included, hit up the after parties. Any scoop?

A: Dan Zak

RDJr. and wife were at Vanity Fair but I didn't see 'em. I'd watch he and Jude host. They had a strange homo-comedic synergy in "Sherlock Holmes."

I found him to be absolutely fascinating to watch, not at all scary! I have heard "scary" today. Perhaps if more people associated with really old people (Mr. Douglas is 94), he wouldn't have frightened them so. He was funny, he was irreverent and he really wanted to steal a scene if he had time. Great!

A: Jen Chaney

I don't think it's scary so much as it is, frankly, disconcerting. Some people respond to Douglas the same way they do to Dick Clark -- it's just hard to hear people who suffered a severe stroke try to talk, and sometimes it can be hard to get past that.

Ultimately, I think Douglas turned that into an asset and milked the humor of his slow speech. Which proves that his mind is still pretty sharp and that he's got a sense of humor about himself.

the "clever" remarks the presenters make in introducing the nominees. They are stilted, unfunny and painfully obvious. Sandra Bullock almost sounded clever at first, but then fell into a monotone recitation of jokes that couldn't have taken more than a nanosecond to be written (e.g., telling the nominee for "Social Network" that she was waiting for himto respond to her "friend" request-- hahahaha).

A: Dan Zak

A chatter last night said it sounded like Bullock and Bridges were talking in school-marm tone. "Where's Natalie? Now Natalie, you did a good job. Gold star for you." It was very flat. It was like the show wasn't written at all. Yet Bruce Vilanch, the man who's made a living scripting awards shows, was still apparently at the helm...

What was the "celebrity on the street" reaction to the ceremony, especially the hosts?

A: Jen Chaney

I tried to get a sense of that at Gov. Ball and Elton John. And anyone I asked sort of said, it was fine. If they thought it was bad, they weren't going to say.

But I overheard Jeff Garlin raving about the standing ovation Billy Crystal got, which tells you something. If they're gushing about Crystal instead of Hathaway and Franco, probably not a ring of endorsement.

Franco's a terribly talented guy, he just may not be a host guy. There's no shame in that. But he'll likely get roasted for it for a few days, then the culture will move on and continue marveling over Charlie Sheen's lunacy.

Has there ever been an Oscar host do more damage to his career than James Franco? I was a fan of him before this event, but he really was awful. The hype over the past couple months was a bit much -- way too much overexposure. But last night he was just worthless.

A: Dan Zak

Yeah, the show was dismal. And I'm easy to please. I have no idea what it'll do for his career. Perhaps this is the last straw, in terms of over-exposure. There are those of us who think he may have peaked with "Freaks & Geeks."

I love me some Daniel Desario but I don't think his career peaked with Freaks and Geeks at all.

And I think he'll be fine. He's got his hands in so many things and seems inquisitive and smart enough not to let an arguably lousy Oscar performance curtail his career.

He may have been a mediocre host, but he was a very worthy nominee this year. I can't see his career imploding over this. Letterman was a bad host (supposedly) too. His life didn't come to a screeching halt.

I heard that his date is Indian actress Mallika Sherawat. Is that true? Did you see them at the after parties?

A: Amy Argetsinger

He didn't look like he was with anybody, did he? At least not when we spotted him. Dan thought that maybe Paz de la Huerta was with him, but she actually was in close proximity to Quentin Tarantino most of the time I saw her.

Someone asked about Firth? I saw him. Lovely. Exactly the height you want him to be. Surrounded by ladies demanding iPhone photos. Didn't seem to stick around long -- I'm sure he had a long list of parties.

Where is the Vanity Fair party now held -- I'd hear that it moved from Morton's? I had the bizarre and hilarious opportunity to serve cocktails at that party a few times. I remember how ridiculously gorgeous everyone was and how many smokers there are in Hollywood. Seemed like everyone was lighting up. Was the same true this year?

A: Amy Argetsinger

It's at the Sunset Tower Hotel, on the Sunset Strip. Elegant and understated, with amazing views of the city. They set up a lot of tents to make it bigger, and the smokers are just outside the corners of those, so that's where you peek to see who smokes these days. Answer: Jeremy Renner. (Who, in case you don't know, is tiny.)

Was anyone else bothered by Anne Hathaway's yelling "Woo! Woo!" as presenters were introduced? It reminded me of a high school pep rally. Also, why did James Franco never look anywhere except up and to the right? Is that where the teleprompter was located? He just seemed to be on autopilot all night.

A: Dan Zak

As I said during last nite's chat, Anne Hathaway conducts herself like she's running for class president.

Up close, any surprises? Better looking than expected? Shorter than expected?

A: Jen Chaney

This was my second year on the carpet, and the thing that always surprises me is how good everyone looks in person. Liz was trying to determine her best and worst dressed list, and I kept saying, no that person looked good. So did that person.

One who looked amazing and hasn't gotten as much attention? Mandy Moore. She was like a shiny, wispy, sparky thing. But in the picture, you can't tell how radiant she looked.

He was part of the cohort there for the dinner viewing party, i.e. before us. Our arrival time was 11 p.m., PST. So, while we're always dazzled by the people we see, we're always a little sad the next day to see the full guest list and realize who we missed.

Letterman was unfairly criticized for his performance. At least he tried, and tried new things. Franco was all too cool for the whole event. Just ask him. And I loved freaks and Geeks - he was perfect in that role, and still good in Spiderman, etc. But we loks our hosts to make an effort. I was never a big Billy Crystal fan, but I was sure missing him last night.

A: Jen Chaney

Agreed on all counts. I loved it when Letterman hosted. It was so wrong that it was right, if that makes sense.

Franco just may not be the host type. And that's fine. Despite evidence to the contrary, he can't be good at everything.

I spoke to Crystal and he said he might consider hosting if he gets to do something to make it new. Not sure how likely that is, but I thought it was interesting that he didn't just say no flat-out when I asked him. I think the standing ovation really got to him.

Is it as fabulous as the pictures make it out to be? Did you get to Madonna's party? If so, how was it?

A: Dan Zak

The party is pretty fabulous, in terms of the starriness of attendees, but everything else is a bit chintzy. The music is all Village People and Donna Summer and "celebrate good times come on." And no, we didn't go to Madonna's. Madonna doesn't suffer press.

Corey Haim died a couple days after last year's Oscar ceremony. In fairness, the competition is really stiff -- all those dead agents and cinematographers to honor. Haim didn't even get recognized in the actor-only montage at the Screen Actors Guild (at least not that I remember, and I'm, like, the one person in America who took notes).

DZ - You're far better looking than most of us regular folk, and I think you would have as good chance as anyone to pick up a celeb at the Vanity Fair party. Did anyone flirt with you?

A: Dan Zak

The only reason I'm answering this question -- which is clearly from a friend or family member -- is because I do go into the Vanity Fair party looking for some flirting action (because why not?). But when nearly every face is a recognizable face, us non-famous people get lost in the shuffle and just become part of the decor.

Most sites have Brolin at 5 feet 10 inches, which isn't exactly Hobbit-like. Another bigger than most actor is Liam Neeson--he's 6 feet 4 inches I think.
My idea for a host? Craig Ferguson. Great on his feet, fabulous accent, able to sting but not wound.

Ferguson would be good, but I don't know if -- rightly or wrongly -- the Academy would perceive him to be "elite" enough to have earned the right to host. I love watching him, though. He is great on his feet. And you can't get mad at people when they make mean jokes in a Scottish accent.

I was in the shower for the RDJ/Jude Law combo presentation! I could kick myself.
A ridiculous question: are In-n-Out burgers as incredibly delicious as advertised? It seems like they always show up at Oscar parties, and I always read the accounts and get a terrible hungering to hop a plane to LA and hit a drive-through.

A: Amy Argetsinger

They are incredibly delicious. The only fast-food burger I'll eat. They're really better served piping hot from an actual In-n-Out restaurant, but you're pretty happy to grab a cooling one from a cater-waiter at 1:30 a.m.

I can reluctantly understand skipping over Haim. But on an evening when they started the show honoring Gone With the Wind, how on earth do they not include Cammie King in the montage? Not a huge role, but really the last of the GWTW cast -- and it was an important role as well. Really surprising.

A: Amy Argetsinger

When you're covering the Oscars, you end up missing a lot of the Oscars because you're busy writing about the Oscars, if that makes any sense. So it was only hours later that I learned little Bonnie Blue Butler was omitted, and I think that was a terrible terrible mistake. Cammie King wasn't just in Gone With the Wind, she was also the voice of Falene in "Bambi." That's about all she did, but those are big deal movies.

I figured Jeremy Renner was tiny because ScarJo dwarfed him in a photo of them together. What surprised me was the photo of Rhea Durham towering over hubby Mark Wahlberg, almost like Will Farrell (without heels) outsized MM in The Other Guys.

A: Jen Chaney

Yeah, Wahlberg is not that tall, now that you mention it. But in person she didn't quite tower, she was just a tad taller.

Aside from Obama's clip about As Time Goes By (surprising and fun, imo), did anyone DC have a presence at the Oscars? I feel like our wonky world disappears from the earth when I watch award shows.

A: Dan Zak

Former social secretaries Desiree Rogers and Julianne Smoot were at Vanity Fair. The live-action short winner "God of Love" was a big hit at the D.C. Shorts Festival last year. And a doc short nominee called "Killing in the Name" was exec-produced by a Dupont Circle resident named Carie Lemack. I wrote about her strange journey thru the madness of Oscar week here.

I attended a summer program for the arts many years ago while a senior in high school. There was a really nice girl in the program named Jen. The last day, her dad came to pick her up and it was . . . Billy Crystal. He was so down to earth and nice as can be. And--more revealing--so was his daughter. Nobody had a clue that she was his daughter. Since then, he can do no wrong in my book. I'd love to see him host again.

A: Jen Chaney

Honestly, I would not be surprised if it happens.

Every year for the past few years, they do the "we're reinventing the Oscars" routine. They generate all this hype about how it's going to be different this time, we swear. And then it isn't all that different, and people get all annoyed.

Personally I think the Oscars is what it is. You can try different ways of presenting the trophies, shuffle through hosts, trim musical performances, whatever. But in the end it's an awards show and you either want to sit through the whole thing or you don't. All the day-after belly-aching gets on my nerves a little bit because it's just as predictable as the show itself can be.

Anyway, that rant aside, after all the focus on reinvention, I could see the Oscar producers switching course, tapping Crystal and promoting next year's ceremony as sort of a classic Coke version of the Academy Awards.

JF reminds me of the guy at work who volunteers for every special project and committee and your boss fawns over him but you know he never really does anything well. Was he, like, writing a term paper backstage?

I don't know if Jen noticed, but there was a dude in the press filing center who looked totally Franco-esque -- wearing a bowler hat and a gray suit instead of black tie, and when Christian Bale came backstage to take questions, he asked Bale if he'd been drinking, and Bale asked him if he had, and there were all kinds of jolly insider yuk-yuks between the two of them, and I was thinking, well, we've got our own Franco back here, don't we.

The acceptance speeches were all around painful to sit through last night. Any chance they will finally eliminate acceptance speeches and simply let Vanna White deliver the trophy to the winners in their seats? They can fill in the lost air time with more singing kids.

Do certain segments of the media have trouble getting stars to come by and talk to them? It seemed from Jen's account that there were a number of folks who breezed by the print media and hit the TV interviewers instead.
Also: I agree Franco wasn't very solid up front as a host- no bust on him, I think it's just not his thing- but the videos and pictures he was posting to Twitter were incredible. I really enjoyed them.

A: Jen Chaney

Yeah, I still need to go back and look at everything he tweeted. The video I posted of walking onstage was very cool. And that raises an interesting point: increasingly, the Oscars are becoming an experience we have online as well as on TV.

I think the broadcast is still the key thing, but I wonder if a day will come when what a host does online is just as important as what he says onstage. Just a random thought from a tired individual.

To your question about media, on the red carpet, yes. You have to tap the publicists and ask them to send over said celebrity. Sometimes they'll come to you and sometimes not.

And sometimes they do the, "She has to get inside" routine. That happened a few times yesterday and a ridiculous amount on Saturday at the Spirits.

I thought your story last week on the way they honor people who have died was really interesting. Particularly interesting was how they would cut out TV people because they were not film stars. So why did Lena Horne get the place of honor at the end of the montage. No doubt she was incredibly talented, though I don't believe she was ever considered a movie star, like Tony Curtis and Dennis Hopper.

A: Amy Argetsinger

This is a controversial choice. Lena Horne undoubtedly deserved a place in the reel, but I never imagined she'd close it out. I just assumed it would be Dennis Hopper, or possibly Tony Curtis. While she was a notable presence in movies, just try to name one of them -- she was a much bigger deal in music. But I'm thinking it was set up that way so as to have more resonance with presenter/major fan Halle Berry coming up next.

With all the critiques of Franco & Hathaway, do you have any suggestions as to who would be better suited to host the Oscars next year? Has this foray into attracting a younger demographic come to an end or will we have to wait and see the ratings?

A: Amy Argetsinger

Did Dan already nominate Robert Downey Jr.? He's a natural comedian, a beloved Hollywood figure -- a hipster with gravitas. Can't imagine anyone who would be better at this.

I understand they were selected to try to reach out to younger generations. As a member of the younger generation the Oscars people target,allow me to apologize to the TV viewing public. No, I didn't find them funny. Bring back Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin.

A: Dan Zak

See but Baldwin and Martin weren't that funny either. I say get RDJr. and Streep to co-host. Or rather, have Jude and RDJr. and Jude do it but have Streep accept on everyone's behalf. She's made a performance art form out of accepting awards.

I have been a big fan of John Hawkes. Just a unique looking, outstanding and underrated character actor. Was curious how he looked/seemed in person?

A: Jen Chaney

He was great. He's not a red carpet kinda guy, but he genuinely seemed in good spirits and was very appreciatie of the attention Winter's Bone was getting. At the Gov. Ball I saw him having dinner and giving his girlfriend a kiss. He seemed very happy.

Dan, I'd flirt with you at the VF party! Can you get me in next year you handsome devil you?

A: Dan Zak

And I'm only answering this question because my ego's always bruised after Vanity Fair (the only physical touch I experienced was my cheek to the Donald's hair). But, no, I can't get you in. I can barely get myself in.

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I learned something last night. Get a haircut before the award show. That was one of the best lines of the evening.

A: Amy Argetsinger

Luke Matheny! We've been telling you since last fall that the "God of Love" director is the next big thing. Best live-action short I've ever seen. (Only live-action short I've ever seen?) Oh, and don't buy that big about needing a haircut -- that ridiculous mop of hair made him stand out at the VF party more than all those well-groomed guys you didn't recognize toting Oscars. And you know what you need to do if you're going to be a star? Stand out in the crowd.

To follow up on the person who suggested getting rid of acceptance speeches, I don't know that it something I would advocate. But it was a dreadful year for them. All the same laundry list of agent, wife, etc -- except for Randy Newman, who was good. But nobody got cut off -- was that intentional? Did we know that beforehand? Usually two people get an award, one guy takes the whole time and other guy gets shut out. This time the Academy let him have a few words too.

A: Amy Argetsinger

They really gave them a long runway with their speeches this year, didn't they? But very little memorable was said on stage. Like her or not, Melissa Leo is the only one who delivered entertainingly. The creeping sense of caution at the Oscars -- from fashion choices to thank-yous -- has been making the show much more boring lately.

There seems to be a pretty mixed reaction of whether Melissa Leo was really stunned and stumbling through her speech, or it was all really calculating after her whole promotional campaign. I hate to say it, but it seemed she was playing a role the whole time -- and doing the same overacting we saw in The Fighter. Thoughts?

A: Dan Zak

Hard to get a handle on her. Also unfair to diagnose. I had lunch with her last year and she was very natural and easygoing, but she just turns to jelly in a setting where her work is recognized.

Uh, black suit and white button-down shirt with rounded collar from Club Monaco. Black tie from H&M, which I had to scissor in order to shorten because it was too dang long. Shoes from Macy's. Socks from Target. Plus an expression that was both aloof and come-hither.

This was the year that I was going to change costumes midway through the evening -- like the real people do. It was unseasonably cold, so I figured that I'd wear my ruched dark-gold, mid-calf length dress to the press filing center -- advantage: sleeves -- and then change into my dressier full-length flowy pale gold for the party. But then, you know, I decided: Sleeves are so modern, don't you think? (Also: warmer). So I kept that dress. I don't know -- 50 Cent kissed me, so I must have made the right choice.

Any actors you saw out way too late -- closing down the late night/early morning events?

A: Dan Zak

I believe the last semi-famous person Amy and I saw at Vanity Fair around 2:30 a.m. PST was Delroy Lindo. It was bleak at that hour. Everyone had already scooted to Madonna's, or Franco's, or somewhere we weren't invited.

I love Arch Campbell. But I was watching his Oscar recap, and he called it a night of surprises? With all due respect to Arch, were there any surprises at all?

A: Amy Argetsinger

Everything I know about movies I learned from Arch Campbell. Yes, it was a night of surprises... in that there were absolutely no surprises, and there are always surprises, right? I mean, really, all the prognosticators were saying that King's Speech/Firth/Portman/Leo/Bale were the front runners... but once you get deep into prognosticating culture, the thing is to predict upsets, so for whatever reason, you saw a lot of people in the last week predicting surges for Social Network/Hailee/Geoffrey Rush/Annette Bening. Which, you know, never materialized. So, there's your surprise.

I have mixed emoptions about Jennifer Hudson. She looked great. However, I always appreciated that she looked like a regular person -- fuller figure -- and was a great role models for girls that they don't have to starve themselves and shrink their body types. I'm not sure I can point her out to daughters/nieces/grandchildren anymore.

A: Jen Chaney

I don't think Hudson is starving herself though. She's thin, yes, but she doesn't seem emaciated. And, not to turn this into a commercial for Weight Watchers, but I think she lost the pounds in a healthy way.

If she stays where she is and doesn't keep shedding pounds, I think she still looks like a regular person. But I hear you on having those kind of role models. They are rare in Hollywood and it is nice to point to other body types that are also deemed beautiful.

Anyone talk to her--seemed so adorable and down to earth. If so, hope she stays that way.

A: Dan Zak

I lurked next to her for a little bit, as she received instruction from a very tan woman (a publicist maybe?) to "always listen to her mother," or something. She was very politely listening when I would've run in the other direction.

Care to share any behind the scenes highlights of covering the Oscars?

A: Dan Zak

I think the most interesting encounter I had last night at Vanity Fair was with Lora Hirschberg, the first woman to ever win an Oscar for sound mixing (for "Inception"). I asked her if she thought it was a notable distinction, and she said "Well, kind of, yeah." Only 2 to 5 percent of film sound mixers are women, she said.

It's hard to properly convey this without sounding like a wuss and a half. But it really is stressful to cover the Oscars, especially the red carpet, I think. It's such a charged atmosphere, you're in very close quarters and everyone has a few minutes to get time with someone their editors desperately want them to get.

Factor in that many of us are now working on Internet time (Have you tweeted this yet? How about now? Now?) and it's even more stressful.

So one of my favorite things was the five minutes I took to actually eat from the buffet outside the press room. (They do put out a decent spread for the media).

And despite all the chaos, it is exciting to be on the red carpet or to walk into the Governors Ball. The next day, when I watch the coverage on TV, I'm always like, wait, I was there!

We might do a little FAQ about covering the Oscars for you -- it's very demystifying. You've got a laptop bag over your evening gown, and you never set foot in the Kodak Theatre, and you barely see the second half of the show at all because you're so busy writing about it.

As for the Vanity Fair party -- there's no behind the scenes. We pretty much dump everything that happens to us into the story.

When the producer of Inside Job got his award, he made a slight political comment about how nobody had gone to jail. As everybody is so careful about being politically correct, was that noted by anybody?

A: Dan Zak

I'm sure people noted it. Charles Ferguson was very deft. He made his point pointedly, then moved on to thanking people. A good blend of issue and gratitude.

It seemed to me the bland/poor hosting material may have been in direct response to the Ricky G. at the Golden Globes. Thoughts?
(BTW, I had the exact same response as one of you last night while watching the Oscars: No one had written it! Everyone was making it up as they went along. Explained a lot, if you asked me.)

A: Amy Argetsinger

I thought there was too much self-referentialness -- too much, "hey, we're hosting! What do we do? how're we doing?" Sure, that's what a handful of bloggers are interested in, but most viewers were probably sitting there thinking, "who are these kids and why do they keep talking about themselves?"

One of the guest comics on the E! after party asked why Jane Lynch never shows up to any of these events/parties with a boyfriend. She was clearly being facetious. I'm surprised this hasn't been picked up by many people. It's borderline malicious.

A: Dan Zak

Ew. At Vanity Fair, Jane was buddybuddy with another Jane: Fonda, that is. They sat for a long time gabbing in a booth. Lynch was wearing this great glittery/tweedy lady blazer. Lynch is a tall one, too.

His smile to me seems the same in all situations, at least professionally. I've seen him on General Hospital and now his smile give me the creeps, there's no variation between psycho Franco on GH smile and Oscar smile or interview smile.

A: Amy Argetsinger

But, remember, James Franco was playing a performance artist named "Franco" on the show, so...

Do people who get nominated, but lose for Best Short Film get invited to any of the big parties? Does the winner? Does winning an Oscar command automatic attention, or does it have to one of the big category winners?

A: Amy Argetsinger

The delightful thing about the Vanity Fair party is seeing the guys from the lesser categories show up, walking around with their Oscars. I'm not 100 percent sure but I suspect that they don't invite all the nominees, or it would be a much more crowded party -- the VF wranglers just swoop up the winners at the end of the night and give them the golden ticket.

After the Golden Globes there was a big fuss that Ricky Gervais had insulted Robert Downey Jr and his rehabilitation from substance abuse. Last night he was making jokes about 2001 or some time ago.... Was the Gervais "mad" a hoax?