Why Motherhood Is A Far Greater Sacrifice Than Fatherhood

Parenting is hard for both genders. But it’s most grueling for women, in a number of areas.

I have a confession to make… I don’t know if I want to be a mother.

Let me stop you there, because I’ve heard it all before.

I know, I’m young and I’m single, and 21-year-old me is in “no position” to be making “serious decisions” about my potential bloodline. If I “just wait” until I find the “right guy”, everything will fall into place…right?

It’s a slippery slope from finding Prince Charming to being a full-time mom – and while there’s nothing wrong with that, quite frankly, it terrifies me.

Recently I’ve encountered a rather new phenomenon. That is, ‘single woman shame’. When speaking to a male friend about feeling embarrassed of my single status, he couldn’t relate. He had no idea what it was like to be continually reminded of a ticking biological clock whilst trying to build a career. He hadn’t even thought about how having a kid would change his life, because, to be honest, it wouldn’t change it all that much.

I’ve worked damn hard to get where I am. At 18, I picked up and moved 200 miles from home to be the first person in my family to pursue an education – also making me the first woman to deny motherhood as my first priority.

I work 40-hour weeks to put myself through college, and at 21, have landed my dream job as a junior journalist through sheer perseverance. Make no mistake, there is still a long way to go, but I’ve sacrificed a lot to get here, and I’m not ready to throw it all away for a family.

Parenting is hard for both genders. But it’s most grueling for women, in a number of areas.

Career

It’s no secret that taking time out to raise children poses a set-back in a woman’s career. This can have bigger implications to society, with fewer women making it to senior positions, causing an imbalance in power in not only the workplace, but larger corporations.

Typically, a woman works very few hours during her child’s first few years, and it’s rare for a mother to pick up more than part-time work as the kids grow up.

This is an alarming figure when one considers the career repercussions (or lack thereof) for their male counterparts.

There’s no shame in being a stay-at-home mother, but we really have to do away with the stigma that says that working moms are less-than, or not good enough.

Financial

When a baby arrives, it’s normal for the father to remain at work while the mother cares for the child. A recent study found that “…women underestimate the costs of motherhood. The mismatch is biggest for those with college degrees, who invest in an education and expect to maintain a career.”

While taking time off work to look after bub is important (if that’s what you want to do) it can have larger implications to a women’s financial autonomy.

Physical

I’m not going to lie to you, the physical aspect of pregnancy is probably what freaks me out the most. I can’t imagine sharing my body with another being, and the physical impact of gestation is dramatic, to say the least.

Emotional

Postpartum depression is a very real (though still largely misunderstood) possibility for mothers, One of the main triggers is the extreme hormonal changes that occurs in the body while growing a baby.

Women at highest risk include those with pre-existing mental illness, a family history of depression, financial instability and problematic pregnancies. While these factors increase the risk of postpartum depression, it’s important to note it can affect any mother.

Growing and raising a baby is exhausting enough without the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn. This, along with the stress and pressure coming from other parents can take a drastic toll on a woman’s mental health.

While fathers typically return to work a week or two after the birth, mothers often opt to stay at home with the new baby. This can be incredibly isolating, so it’s important for moms to reach out and speak to a medical professional if they find themselves struggling in any way.

“Empty-nest” syndrome also takes a harsh emotional toll on mothers, especially ones that stay at home. Often, women will put their lives on hold to raise children, losing their identity and career in the process.

So when the kids eventually grow up and move out, it’s common for stay-at-home moms to feel lost and void of purpose.

So, excuse me if I’m not as concerned about the ticking of my biological clock as I’m expected to be. I’m not saying fathers have it easy, far from it, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’d be less hesitant about parenthood if I’d been born male.

Featured image via tumblr.com.

Comment: Do you agree with this writer? Does parenthood impact women more than men?

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