Tag Archives: gift

It’s odd that t hsi very cynicism set myself up for a downfall yesterday. No, not that I forgot the holiday for a certain someone — it’s that I set myself up for the letdown by playing cynic with the cynic I had tagged as Valenine.

The conversation went on to discuss how Spain has a special holiday for single/recently broken up with people ont eh day after valentines, but through all this I took it as a cue she hadn’t gotten my gift and thus was set up for a surprise.

Well, if she checked her PO Box.

Yeah, by compounding the cynicism I only built up the idea that I hadn’t gotten anything — that or the holiday has just become an excuse to put high ticket items on sale. Heaven forbid someone actually writes,/creates something personal in order to touch someone’s heart on what is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year.

Romance isn’t dead… Realism and cynicism are holding it hostage though and the retailers are paying for the hostage-takers risk.

I was out playing with my nine month old puppy, Madeline, just a few minutes ago… I came inside and found instant messages sent from Jenna to me, telling me that her cat Amber had died.

That’s our cat actually, and hearing the news hurt.

Amber was a cat we rescued from the North Pinellas Humane Society last year about this time – it’s within a few days of the one year anniversary of getting the cat. Jenna had just moved into her apartment at Sabal Walk and wanted to get a feline friend to compliment her brood of dogs in the apartment. Meanwhile, I had the inkling of getting a cat for my brother Andy’s birthday – but I soon retreated on such an idea as they (at the shelter) said – giving animals as gifts isn’t such a bright idea.

Me and Jenna had gone to the shelter on a Sunday morning… I can’t exactly remember the details leading up to getting inside the shelter — I think we cleaned out her van in the shopping center across the street from the shelter as we waited for it to re-open — but I can remember inside. The cats were all penned into seperate fenced in areas. Some had unhealthy looks in their eyes from being in captivity too long. Several had been their for years, while others had been their for months on end. Me and Jenna had taken to a few sweet tabby cats that had been inside for a while… It was a pity party of sorts. I started making a list of preference cats in my head as we moved through the building, but every selection was a pity selection more so than a prized discovery.

Then we came to the last cage in the cat area… We were interested in looking at the dogs soon – just for the hell of it — but wanted to see the cats within the pen. It was crowded in their – maybe 12 or more cats all tucked into it. It was mostly longhairs. Several didn’t want to be touched and several were only interested in keeping their position in the cage.

I had basically given up on the the pen and was ready to move on when Jenna noticed a cat tucked away inside a cinder block. The block was already basically hidden under a platform that held several cats… The block was also surrounded by other cats lounging…

Jenna pulled the cat out from the abyss and lo and behold we found the prize of the Humane Society. The Needle in the haystack if you will. Her hair was mostly white with tints of brown and orange… It would be an elegant coat if not for the cat being in a dank cell and her hair matted against her body. She was a ragdoll.Â We looked over the chart outside the cage to try to find the name of the animal. It wasn’t quite clear to me which of the dozen+ animals on the list it was… Though it seemed to be one of three or so, and most likely a cat named “Idgie.”

Idgie had been in the shelter for only a few days compared to the other cats. She was terrified in that cell, she would hiss when held near other cats or over other cats. She’d struggle to get out of your grasp and run back into her hiding space from time to time…

But she also had the demeanor of an animal that didn’t belong in a pen like that. She seemed violated and desperate to escape.

We browsed around the dogs – Jenna took to a golden retriever that was up for adoption, but my mind was on “Idgie.” Would she even survive a few minutes without us? We had to get her out of there… I mean we just HAD to do it.

And that’s just what we did.

The adoption only took a few minutes and “Idgie” was brought out in a cat carrier. It ran through my mind a few times what this cat must have gone through and must be going through. Her papers said she was six and that she had been put up for adoption because of a new baby at home where she had lived. She was already declawed and though she was a tad volatile in the pen, it was obvious she wasn’t an aggressive animal by nature.

We got her out to the car — she was adopted officially by me but she’d be Jenna’s cat — and decided right there she needed a new name because… Well, Idgie? There are uncommon names and then their are REALLY uncommon names. Idgie didn’t even look pronouncable on the information sheet we had been given, let alone was it something that either of us would willingly call an animal. We decided upon “Amber” as her new name.

And that was the begining of her new life — andn that life would only last a year.

She was sweet, that much I can remember. She was scared when we brought her into Jenna’s apartment and she hid inside Jenna’s closet most of the time. I was always concerned for the cat because of the change of situations she was facing, but she came out fine. We cleaned her up and indeed she was a beautiful longhair. I’d almost think that she was a show cat because of how smart she seemed to be.

Well, it’s been over a year since I left Netflix and what did Santa bring me but a one year gift subscription. Ho Ho Ho… I’m trying to build up my queue again and there are a number of films I have flat out forgotten about over the past few weeks and months that I would like to see.

At the top of my queue is War of the Worlds and Sahara. I’ve also got Seaon 3 of 24 in there, Murderball, March of the Penguins, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Team America – World Police, Crash, Constantine and a few others… But I know or sure I’m forgetting a lot of flicks and can us some recommendations. I’ve seen a few thanks to cable and owning the DVD’s (so please no one suggest Batman Begins or the last Star Wars sequel)…

So Josh and Michelle are getting hitched Sunday and now that I have some time to cram on the gift — I’m hitting a wall creatively. Not hitting a wall but my first intuition is that the poem I was going to give them, framed and with art, isn’t going to cut it.

I originally wrote this thing with a girl named Jamie Rose and her boyfriend from High School in mind. I wrote it because I felt guilty for having a crush on the chick when she was so in love with her boyfriend.

So now I am wondering what I should do — edit it where need be? Keep it as is? Bah! Choices, choices!

No matter what goes on or how mundane things are, I’ve found i have a knack for raising the bar for friends just a little bit here adn there… Just by being myself. Making someone’s day is not something new to me but it’s something that I hadn’t done in a while – well, not conciously.

I could bring up Christmas and gift selections on my part — I got everyone something they loved with exception given to my older brother (who hates everything people get him) and my father (who doesn’t give a care anyway). It was nice to see everyone a bit excited or happy with gifts.

Then the flowers arrive… Just some daisey’s… And you know how big something like that is and how little it is in the grand scheme…? How much of a mood changer it was?

I’m good with shit like that… In all the mundane bullshit that I can whine about, lack of romance and lack of social circle, I can know that I am able to do things that can change someone’s day around or show I care. Maybe this is why I get hurt? Maybe this is why I’m vulnerable?

I’ve been trying to re-arrange my poetry page instead of ammassing everything I have by 10 poems-per-page. I don’t know why I am doing it exactly but I am doing it…. (all of this while I shoudl be working on Chantilly Lace gifts).

The thing is, I read over certain poems and I can remember exactly where and when I was when I wrote that poem… Some of them I rememeber exactly what I was feeling. I’ve lst at least one entire book of poetry because I lent it out to someone who would later betray me… And at the same time I still have 7 volumes sitting on a bookshelf that are just one big reminder of things in the past.

Some people had journals, some people just kept notes of there lives, some people blog… I wrote poetry. It was release and yet it chronicled things.

Anyway, the poem that gets me – and get sme every time – is Lost Inside… Just because of how I ende dup playing the words. I can remember writing this at my local library … There are a lot of poems with certain strengths to them that I persoanlly enjoy but this is the one that I like the most:

Lost Inside

Seen my feelings lost inside forever
Couldn’t we be good together?
Girl, you are my everything,
You’re all my wants and craves

Lost inside the secret you
What am I supposed to do
Girl, you are my majesty
I’ll worship you forever

Only known I’ve lost my mind
Oh, why worry? Never mind
Everything that I do crave
Is lost inside your being

Now to find you,
Majesty,
I need to be your everything,
Fit the bill and fly the path,
Our equation, do the math,
Add us two and then subtract –
The worries and the hardships

Seen my feelings inside you, girl
Oh my, honey, what a world
What am I supposed to do?
I’ve stayed lost inside the secret you

And inside, I’ve lost my mind
Oh, why worry? Never mind
Everything I’ll always crave
Is lost inside the secret you

Last year I had an excuse for being AFB (Away From Blog) as I was feeling like shit and recovering from surgery. This year? Computer hardware problems and a slow delievery of replacement parts.

So, not only do I lack updates at Der Stonegauge but also on der Boltsmag, der Baseball Boards, Chantilly Lace Gifts and the like. It’s a real pain in the ass because I need to do work and I can’t ACCESS my work. All of that information is locked away quaintly on my hard drive while other hardware makes my computer un-usable.

Damn you, IBM-Compatible PC’s!!!

Happy Holidays, anyway. I have been keeping busy by walking here and there, doing housework, and more which I can talk about later in entries on the blog.

Well, people already saw on my last post I am thinking about doing a Buccaneers Web Log… That being said, Stonegauge Productions may have a new client soon enough.

Danielle’s boss is in desperate need to not only get a lower-costing hosting company but also improve (visibility, sales, etc ) her store’s web site – Chantilly Lace Gifts… It’s an E-Commerce site that isn’t doing any commerce (no sales in a year of existence). It doesn’t get any exposure and damn it, it doesn’t even give you a glipse of the store itself.

It’s Birthday Time in teh Fontana Family – between my immediate family and extended family, quite a few birthdays come up around this time of year and I am always at a loss to find a gift or something to give mi familia…

And I WANT to give, I NEED to give… I hate just sitting around like a schmoe and not giving something…. That just feels really lowball.

The key problem areas are my older brother Michael and my father. Mike’s birthday comes up in a couple of weeks (August 29th) and basically he has taken an anti-materialism vow — though he seems like the most materialistic son of a bitch sometimes. He also seems to be very much into Pool lately so I am going to have to see if I can find something that fits along those lines as a gift (and no, a cue is out of the quesiton – he just bought one).

Meanwhile, I have another month before my fathers birthday. If Mike is hard to shop for, my father is impossible. ANy time of year, any holiday — outlandishly impossible. It’d be easier getting him a few days off at a casino than getting him anything material or meaningful…

IAnd I am 2 months away from #25…. I’m due out in LA on my birthday — if I can do something other than my usual trips to LA that are uneventful, it willb e a good day all by itself.